Standard Disclaimer - These characters, most of them, belong to Universal, and Renaissance Pictures, and whoever else has a stake in Xena: Warrior Princess. This is written just in fun, and no copyright infringement was intended.

Specific Story Disclaimers:

Violence – Violence - yes, there will be violence of a moderately graphic nature in this story.

Emotional distress - I have to put in a disclaimer here for this, because this story, unlike most of my other stories, is an extremely dark one. There is not a whole lot of humor here, and most everyone ends up not being happy through most of the story. IF you're looking for a warm and fuzzy tale, this ain't it. You might want to give this one a miss.

Subtext - As in all my stories, this one is based on the premise of two people who are very much in love with each other. They happen to both be women. There is no graphically depicted action here.. but if the thought of this gives you a problem, find a different story to read. There are lots of very good general fiction Xena stories that can be found on Xeno's page.

I'm not offering any goodies for the phobes this time round. But if you feel like I've beaten you over the head with angst in this one, then send me your snail mail address, and I'll forward over some Girl Scout Original Mint cookies, and some milk. That always makes me feel better.

 Any and all comments are always welcome. You can email them to:

 mailto:merwolf@bellsouth.net

Darkness Falls - Part 1

By Melissa Good

It was a quiet campsite. The ring of trees around it shielded it's inhabitants from the worst of the evening wind, but little whirls kept the fire snapping fitfully, and stirred the leaves which shifted against each other as though whispering secrets.

Outside the fire's ring of light, a horse cropped grass idly, her golden coat catching barest hints of silver as she moved in and out of the moonlight, searching for tastier clumps of grass. Every once in a while, her head would lift, and she would turn her round, liquid eyes towards the two women seated within the camp, then go back to chewing.

A reddish blond woman sat cross-legged nearer the fire, with a bound parchment balanced on her bare legs. She wore a dun colored wraparound skirt, with an intricately tooled belt, and a brief leaf green halter-top, which matched the color of her eyes.

Across from her was a much taller, dark haired woman dressed in dark brown leather, whose attention was focused intently on a bit of brass armor being reshaped in her hands. A low rattle sounded from near the fire, and she glanced up, then put her task down and stood, walking to the fire and dropping down to a crouch, taking up a small pot of boiling water and pouring it's contents into two mugs balanced on a flat rock.

She paused, waiting patiently for the herbs to steep, and using the fragrance lifting from the brew to judge it's readiness. After a few minutes, she stirred a bit of honey into both, and stood, crossing to where the fair haired woman sat, and handing down the cup.

Gabrielle looked up and took the offered tea, with a tentative smile. "Thanks."

Xena smiled back, and nodded, then went back to her spot, and picked up the armor bit again, settling down on the ground with a soft sigh.

Very aware of the green eyes that watched her. And of the silence.

Gabrielle gazed sadly at her firelit companion, then put her cup down, and resumed her quill, staring down at her diary unhappily, rereading her recently finished entry.

I don't worry about Tartarus much, anymore. They can't come up with anything worse than what I.. what we've been through this time.

I'm not going to sit here and assign blame.. it would be useless, and I think we both know that. I made some really bad decisions, she made some really bad decisions.

We paid for it. Dearly.

We gave up peace, and happiness, a good part of both of our souls, and very probably.. a unique friendship. The only thing left is the love between us. But we paid a big price for that, too.

Because every time I look at her, it hurts. To know what we did to each other, how it felt. What I felt. What we lost.

She will never trust me again. Oh.. sure, for most things. Day to day stuff, normal stuff, sure. But when I look into her eyes, I don't see into her soul like I used to. Now there are barriers there against me, and the worst thing is, I can't blame her for them.

As for me.. well, there's no safe place anymore, is there? The one thing I knew… I KNEW.. that I believed in more than anything else.. was that she would never knowingly hurt me.

She has. With a brutality that I always knew she was capable of, but swore, in the depths of my soul I would never seen turned against me…and I was wrong. I've never been afraid of her, but now I am, and she knows it.

I see it in her eyes when she looks at me. It hurts when I remember when there used to be laughter lurking back there. When I remember calling her my playmate. When she used to smile, and tickle me just because.

Not any more. We're very.. careful.. with each other. Like there's something really fragile, that might break.

We love each other. That's about the only thing I have left. I'm glad that survived, but sometimes that makes it even worse because I can remember what it used to be like between us, and now..

I miss my best friend.

I wonder if we'll ever find that again.

She closed the diary, and set her quill down on it, then took a swallow of the cooling tea, smiling sadly as the taste of mint filled her mouth. She looked up across the too quiet campfire, and caught Xena staring into the flames, her armor bit forgotten in one hand, and a dull, lost expression on her face. "Hey." She called softly.

Blue eyes gone almost violet in the firelight turned hesitatingly her way. 'Mm?"

"Dinar for your thoughts." The bard replied quietly.

Xena's gaze fell to her hands, which were twisting the armor bit around. "Not worth a dinar, Gabrielle." The warrior stood, and dusted her hands off, flipping the bit up and catching it again before walking over to her saddlebag and tucking it away. She hesitated, one hand on the hilt of her sword, and stared off into the surrounding darkness for a long moment.

'Xena?" Gabrielle felt herself choosing her words carefully, and spared a wistful thought back to a time when she hadn't needed to.

The warrior turned her head, and glanced over. "Yes?"

The bard felt like she was walking on eggshells, and hated it. "Listen.. you.. look a little tired.. why don't you give that a miss tonight, and just kinda take it easy?" Resolutely, she battled down her discomfort, and concentrated on the fact that she had a right to be saying this.

Xena's eyes studied her face for a long silent moment, then a faint grin edged her lips. "You're right." She admitted quietly. "That's a good idea." Almost with an air of relief, she stood up, and walked around to the other side of their joint bedroll, dropping down onto it, and starting to remove her leg armor with a sigh.

Gabrielle rolled onto her back, and carefully reached for the rear strapping, conscious of how Xena's leg stilled as she touched her. She unbuckled the worn clasp, then reached under Xena's knees to get the other one, finally giving the warrior's calf a little pat. "Ok."

"Thanks." Xena's voice floated down, as she waited for Gabrielle to roll clear before she removed the armor, and set it aside. Then she lay back, with her head resting on her folded cloak, and gazed up, at the explosion of stars overhead.

The bard watched her silent profile for a moment, then let her gaze drop the sleeping fur, where her fingers were idly playing with the surface. "Wonder how Ares is?" She asked softly, thinking of their tame wolf, left behind in Amphipolis before they'd gone overseas.

Xena cleared her throat a little before answering. "I'm sure mom's taking care of him." She turned her head a little so that Gabrielle's face was in her field of vision, but didn't look directly at her. "He'll be fine."

"I miss him." Gabrielle felt tears coming, along with the knowledge that it wasn't just her pet she was missing. Ares meant home, and family, and happier times.

Xena's jaw clenched tightly, the muscles in bold relief against the firelight. "So do I.' She finally said, in a very low voice, then closed her eyes. "Good night, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle let the tears fall silently for a while, wetting the soft fur under her cheek, her eyes studying the familiar face next to her. She wearily allowed her gaze to gently absorb the sight of her companion, though she jerked past the fading scar on the warrior's neck as she always did.

The gentle tinkle of beads, and the scent of opium had permeated the bedroom, and she had lain, heart pounding wildly as she'd sensed Xena's nearing presence.

So many things were going through her mind. Her desperate choice, the bargain she'd struck with Ming Tien, her fragile, haunting hope that Xena would just realize she'd done this for the right reasons.

If she'd closed her eyes, she could have almost felt the gentle pressure of the warrior's lips on her head as they'd parted at the docks, Xena's gaze sad, but understanding when she'd told her she couldn't go with her. Couldn’t face the thought of watching Xena slide back into the darkness. Couldn’t cope with the growing distance between them, since… Britannia.

Since she'd lied. Since she'd had to make the soul tearing decision between her daughter and her soulmate. And she'd done it, casting Hope from her in the desperate attempt to save her life, knowing Xena would.. could.. kill her.

She'd given Hope a chance, but that knowledge had driven a wedge between them, and she'd felt it. Knew Xena had felt it, knew it in the haunting sadness in the eyes across from her during the long sea voyage back home.

Now the message, and her single minded purpose, and that story of hatred and betrayal that sickened Gabrielle despite her best efforts.

Part of her had wanted to just wander off the docks, and find a deep hole somewhere just to lie down in. But the other part of her, the part that claimed part of Xena, doggedly kept her going, driving her ahead, never stopping, never taking no for an answer, until it brought her to this place, and this time. "I'll take your place." She'd told Ming Tien.

"You will die." The Chin ruler calmly advised her, his palms neatly, and precisely aligning.

"No." The bard had spoken from sure, gentle knowledge. "She won't hurt me."

Now, with the gentle breeze stirring the unfamiliar drapery, and the scent of odd spices in her nose, Gabrielle sent up a prayer to her very distant gods and hoped she was right.

A motion. She looked up, a flash of a blade…

Then recognition flared, and in less than a breath, Xena had frozen her motion, and let out a single, almost soundless cry.

Gabrielle had cringed, and felt something shrivel deep inside her as she'd heard it, and saw the shock melt into horror, then into shattering grief in Xena's eyes. She never moved a muscle, but the bard could read every wrenching bit of what she was feeling.

She really, truly thought she'd been saving her. But one look at those eyes, and the bard felt an icy doubt fill her. And she knew, whatever else, that Xena, who had trusted her with a completeness, and an honesty she'd never allowed herself with any other person ever, knew herself betrayed.

It hurt.

Now it was over, all the lies laid bare, the betrayals played out, and their relationship was left in such fragile tatters that she often thought it was only the fact that they were, in all truth, soulmates that kept them clinging tenaciously together.

They had forgiven each other. That, surprisingly, had been the easy part, driven by exhaustion, and grief, and need for each other. But it hadn't given back to her their closeness, and the friendship the horror had stolen from them. Times like this, Gabrielle reflected sadly, she wondered if they would ever get even the smallest part of that back.

Tiredly, she sniffled, then tugged her cloak over her against the night breeze, and gave Xena one last, long look. She wasn't sleeping, that Gabrielle knew. Her breathing was too irregular, and she could feel the tension surrounding the warrior. Xena hadn't rejected any efforts of Gabrielle to touch her, but she kept her own advances to polite minimum, and quietly kept her hands from any of their familiar rough horseplay.

That hurt too. Gabrielle's body craved the contact, and she missed it terribly. Sighing, she put her head down, and at last, unable to stop herself, curled a hesitant hand around Xena's arm, and felt tears falling again at the warm familiarity of the touch.

She closed her eyes, and let them fall, and waited for the nightmares to come.

Xena waited until the bard's breathing deepened, then turned her head, to regard her smaller companion wistfully. The hand curled around her biceps brought a comfort with it all out of proportion to the act, and for a long moment, she just let herself feel that, as a balm to the ache she felt inside her.

She'd been through a lot in her lifetime, most of it bad. But this… Tentatively she reached over and covered Gabrielle's fingers with her own, and the bard made a tiny mewling noise, and moved closer, resting her face against the outside of the warrior's shoulder.

She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to just open her arms up, and scoop Gabrielle into them, feeling the bard's body warm against her own, and let the connection they still, against all logic, had between them try to get a start on patching the wounds they'd taken.

I need to do that. She admitted quietly to herself. We both need it. But.. somehow, whenever she thought of that, another thought made her body go still.

An ugly scene, after she'd collected Gabrielle from the Amazon village, and they'd ridden in silence to a small cave nearby, and then..

Oh gods. They'd both been so angry. At themselves, at each other.. Gabrielle had said things that still hurt when she thought about them, and she… didn't even remember doing it, just the solid feel of her fist hitting…

Her eyes closed, and she fought off the memory of Gabrielle's body crumpling away from hers and dropping to the ground, with a gasp of pain that had just.. stopped her. Then she'd started towards the bard in confusion, only to have Gabrielle scramble away from her, in fear.

It shattered something, somewhere deep inside her. She'd stopped moving forward, and started backing up, until her shoulders hit granite, and just stood there, hurting. From everything. From losing Solon, for which she took responsibility, to losing Gabrielle, which she had just sealed with her own violence.

She didn't remember collapsing, just a single thought that.. good.. Gabrielle can escape, and get out of here. Get away.. from here. From her.

And had woken to the feel of Gabrielle's arms around her, as the bard cradled her against her blood stained chest, where her split lip and bloodied nose had marked her. So finally, exhausted, they'd simply talked, for a very long time.

About everything. All the lies, and all the hurt. And the knowledge they needed each other, and how hard forgiving was going to be. How they knew they'd both be carrying the guilt of this for a long time, probably forever. How things would never be the same.

And at that point, they'd both started crying, and she realized, in a far off kind of way, that at a very base level, some things hadn't changed. And they would always be the same. Love was, after all, stronger than hate.

So here she was, afraid to hug her soulmate, because seeing that fear in her eyes would send her over the edge again, and maybe this time she wouldn't come back. She'd tried once, to reach out to her, in the cave, and the bard had flinched. She hadn't tried again.

Gabrielle let out a soft groan, and stirred, her limbs twitching in a dream.

Or nightmare, Xena sighed, as the bard uttered a distressed cry. "Hey.." She called softly, squeezing the fingers under her own. The bard cried out again, and Xena half rolled onto her side, and moved her hand to Gabrielle's shoulder, giving it a very gentle shake. "Gabrielle?"

"No…" The bard moaned, her fingers clamping down on Xena's arm like a vise.

Xena studied her unhappily. The bard had been suffering through this every night since.. Xena closed her eyes in defeat, and let her shoulders slump. She was right. This is all my fault. All of it. There wasn't one thing she did that wasn't based on love, and there wasn't anything I did that wasn't based on hatred. I am exactly what she said I was in the cave.

"Xena?" The voice drifted softly up, and she felt gentle fingertips against her face. "Are you all right?"

The warrior let her eyes slide open, and take in Gabrielle's worried look with pained irony. "Yeah.. you were… having a bad dream.. I couldn’t….." She let the failure drift there. "Used to be your nightmares were me dying. Those are probably your good ones now."

It came out without her permission, and she let herself fall back down, and stare up at the stars, until she felt Gabrielle move and then the view was blocked by reddish blond hair and intent green eyes.

"Is that what you really think?" The bard asked gently, sniffling and pushing her hair back behind one ear. "You're wrong." She added softly, in wistful tone. "Please believe me."

The warrior gazed up at her, then closed her eyes and swallowed.

Gabrielle sighed. A theory that had been mulling around in her mind nudged itself to the front, driven by her recent nightmare. "Xena.. something's been bothering me."

Pale blue eyes studied her, but the warrior kept silent.

"Ever since we met… since the Furies… it was almost like.. you were obsessed with something." Gabrielle said carefully. "And it just kept getting worse… it was almost like I was with a stranger." She reached down and gently touched Xena's cheek. "And now…it's like I have my Xena back."

In pieces. The warrior mused. "It was always me, Gabrielle. Don't make excuses for what I did."

The bard shook her head. "No.. no excuses.. but I know you." She leaned closer. "Something was behind this, Xena…something that wants very much to drive us apart from each other." Her voice dropped. "I'm not going to let that happen again."

Xena gazed up at her, considering that, then steeled herself and brought her right hand up to the bard's face, waiting for the flinch.

It never happened. Her fingers touched the soft skin, and felt the tiny muscles of Gabrielle's face move under them, as the bard gave her a faint smile, and a quiet relief spread through her. "I never wanted to see you get hurt." She murmured faintly. "And that's all I've done lately."

Gabrielle shook her head, letting the long strands brush the warrior's chest. "Even in the worst of it, I believed that, Xena… in Britannia, you left the battlefield to come find me. In Chin, you tried to keep me from what you were doing. "

"I lied to you." Xena said softly.

"Because you knew if you killed Ming Tien, that meant everything I'd done meant nothing." Gabrielle answered quietly. "So you let me think that I'd made a difference."

No answer, but the faintest twitch of Xena's mouth.

They looked at each other, and Xena could read the gentle pleading behind those mist green eyes. She took a breath, and slid her left arm out to one side in a timid invitation, unable to keep a tiny grin from her face when the bard immediately accepted the offer and curled up against her with a quiet little sigh.

The gentle weight of the bard's head pressed against her shoulder was so welcome it almost hurt, and she settled an arm around the warm shoulders, as Gabrielle returned the pressure across her waist. She let herself float in that, as she turned over what the bard had said, and examined it.

Was it possible? Her mind resisted finding excuses for what she'd done. Resisted the thought that she might have been a pawn in some game. But Krafstar's words kept coming back to her, and she wondered.

But first things first. She had a life to rebuild, if she could, and trust to bit by bit restore, if that was possible, and then, maybe, they'd find out who or what was behind it.

And whoever that was, would pay.

Gabrielle felt the world slowly fade in, as she felt the warmth of sun on her back, and heard the low cheerful call of birds singing their morning song around her. She spent a moment in bleak remembrance, then realized it was leather she felt under her fingers and cheek, and realized where she was.

Oh how I've missed this. The thought brought tears to her eyes before she could stop herself and she felt a slight catch in Xena's breathing as the warrior saw them. A hesitant hand came up into her line of sight, and wiped the moisture away, and Gabrielle's heart clenched when she saw how badly the warrior was shaking in the movement. She lifted a hand and gently captured Xena's, curling her fingers around the warrior's own, and feeling the quiet pressure returned.

I wanted to kill you. The words coming from Xena's lips had, in a way, killed part of her. She had felt.. so lost… she had needed Xena so badly after.. what happened with Hope.. and Xena had turned her back on her and left. It had shredded what was left of very tattered defenses that crumbled and left her feeling emptier than anything in her life ever had.

Losing Solon had shocked and sickened her, and made her understand, in a slow, overwhelmingly dark manner, what Xena had known from the start. What she had refused to believe, and what had now cost Xena.. had cost both of them.. a son. Coming around the corner of Kaleipus' hut and seeing Xena cradling the boy's lifeless body… it had been like taking a spear through the gut.

"Go away." The half whispered, half groaned words that slammed into her harder than any physical blow could ever have. It had been one of the worse moments of her life, seeing the still, pale face, and seeing the agony in every line of Xena's body. If she could have given up anything, her life, her soul… for the chance to change that… but no.

She couldn’t have Xena carrying the weight of Hope's death as well… she'd learned from the warrior that you had to be responsible for your actions, right? Clean up her messes, is how Xena put it.

She had. And it had ripped her apart so badly.. and she had needed Xena's forgiveness so badly..

I wanted to kill you. Xena's words.

"I wish you had." Her whispered response. She'd spent three long days in Tartarus in that Amazon hut, trying to find some small space inside her that didn't hurt too much for her to crawl into it, and just stay there. Her world had ended, and she'd lost.. everything that had ever meant anything to her, and when she'd heard the thunder of familiar hoofbeats outside, she'd almost welcomed Xena's anger.

The rage, and the violence that she'd seen in those newly strange blue eyes had matched, perfectly, the desolation inside of her. She'd thrown off Ephiny's warning hands, and just… gone.. to the one person who still meant anything to her. Even if the meaning was ugly, and painful, and she still shook when she remembered the roughly violent way Xena had grabbed her, and thrown her down. She'd always known how strong Xena was.. gods.. how could she not? But she'd always felt safe with her.. like a lion cub in it's mother's mouth, wasn't that how she pictured it?

Well, the lion cub had been bitten. And there was no safe place anymore. And it hurt. Feeling the impact of Xena's fist, and knowing it was on purpose… gods.. it still hurt.

Could she ever trust herself to that again?

She felt the tremor in Xena's fingertips, resting lightly against her face, and sensed a single, warm tendril curling up out of her, from a very cold, and very lonely place. She turned her face slightly, and brushed the warrior's thumb with her lips, hearing the skip of Xena's heart as she felt the pressure. I'll find a way. Somehow.

She raised her head, and peered up at the warrior, whose face was half lit with golden morning sun. "It's late."

Xena fidgeted a little, and focused her vision somewhere over the bard's left shoulder. "Yeah.. well.. was um… " A little head shake. "Just trying to figure out…" Just taking a few minutes to remember what having her love me felt like.

A warm twinkle crept it's way into Gabrielle's eyes. "Thanks for letting me sleep in." She dropped her gaze to Xena's leathers, and gave them a little pat. "That.. um… magic still works. No dreams." She looked up steadily into Xena's eyes. "None that I didn't want to remember, anyway."

Xena studied her seriously. "Why the tears, then?" She asked.

Gabrielle sniffled, then half smiled. "They were good ones." She replied softly. "I was just thinking about how much I missed waking up like this." She glanced up and caught Xena's stricken look, and sighed. ."Sorry..I… just.."

A slow nod from the warrior. "I missed having you here." She admitted. "You can.. I mean.. you're.."

"Thanks, I will." The bard finished her thought. "Makes me feel better." A tiny victory in a long, long series of defeats.

Xena sighed. "Me too." She laid back a long moment, regarding the canopy of leaves above them, and watching a pair of robins preen each other with a sad smile, as a scrap of poetry ran angry and taunting through her head.

When I look at you,

I see all that I am, and all that I could hope to be.

My past, and my future,

My one safe harbor in a terrible world.

When I look at you,

I see my best friend and playmate,

My protector and defender,

The love of my life and the holder of my soul.

How could I have betrayed that? The dark wash of anguish rushed over her. How could I have let anything come between us? She let out a breath against the ache, and felt Gabrielle's hands tighten on her leathers. And that made the thoughts cut off abruptly, as she opened her eyes and met the bard's inches from her.

They stared at each other, and Xena felt her heart start to pound out of control, as the barest hint of a smile wrinkled the corner's of her soulmate's eyes. "I felt that." The bard whispered. "It was the most awful wonderful thing I've ever felt."

Their link, that half felt, half sensed thing that had been missing for so long, blocked by anger, and all that had happened, was slowly, timidly, making itself felt again. "S.."

"Don’t you dare apologize." Gabrielle interrupted, then dropped her gaze. "Guess we'd better get up, huh?" Don't make a big thing out of it.. just… let it go… just be glad you felt it, and move on.

"Yeah." Xena replied softly, uncertainly "Um… I'll.. you felt that?"

Gabrielle nodded slowly. "Yeah." She watched the shuttered blue eyes blink, then soften in timid hope. "I sure did."

Xena went out collecting breakfast while she got the hot water on, and got the bedrolls put away, taking several moments out just to breathe the fresh air, and look around her. It wasn't much, she reflected, but things were looking.. just a little brighter this morning. She could still smell the gentle scent of leather clinging to her skin, and it just.. She sighed. So many raw places.

She looked up as Xena reappeared, carrying a half folded leaf in front of her. The warrior stopped when she felt the bard's eyes on her, and glanced up, giving her a tentative half smile. "Hi." She continued on and stopped in front of the smaller woman, holding out her hands quietly. "I know you said you weren't hungry, but I though you might… um.. "

Gabrielle peered into the bundle, and felt a smile tug irresistibly at her lips. She took the bundle from Xena, and selected a berry from it, biting down on it and feeling the juice explode everywhere. "Whoa." She swallowed the fruit, and suddenly realized she was hungry after all. "Thanks."

She finished them as they walked, with Xena leading the gently ambling Argo as they headed through knee high grass along a good sized river. The crickets punctuated the silence, along with the hiss and crackle of the grass as it brushed past their legs, and Gabrielle was conscious of the quiet, knowing she was the cornerstone of it.

Her stories… seemed to have tiptoed out of her life a while back, and she saw no signs of them returning. Her scrolls were tucked away in a saddlebag, and she hadn't even had the heart to pull them out since.. well, for a while. She knew that bothered Xena, but the taller woman had kept her mouth shut about it, and hadn't even said word one when she'd politely declined a request in the last village they'd been through.

It was a strange feeling. Her stories had been a part of her for so long.. pictures that entertained her while the long miles went past, and that she'd cheerfully pulled out into tales to amuse her and Xena while they traveled. Now.. She sighed softly. Now, her mind was filled with scenes she had no intention of relating. Nothing new, nothing original.. and she missed that. It hurt to read her diary, and see bits of poetry there…and fear she no longer had that in her. That it had died, along with Meridian. Along with Hope.

Along with her faith in goodness, and her belief in herself, and in Xena, and in love to conquer hatred.

"Small town about half a day from here." Xena commented. "I'm low on some supplies.. we could stop in there." With a faint question in her voice, reflecting the anger Gabrielle had tossed her way regarding her making all the decisions.

The bard glanced at her. "Um.. yeah.. that… I could use some herbs.. good idea." The broke out of the field, and onto the riverside road, their steps kicking up faint puffs of dust as they hit the dried ground. The strong scent of the slow moving river washed over them, rich with plant life, and the slanting sun warmed their shoulders as they headed westward along it's banks.

They started out as specks in the distance, and got steadily larger, coming towards them. "Horses." Xena commented, giving them a dour glance. "Looks like raiders. " Her eyes flicked to her smaller companion. "You want to… duck out somewhere? I can handle this."

Gabrielle took a firm grip on her staff. "No." She let out a breath softly. "This is part of my life."

It didn't take long. They kept moving forward until they could distinguish the motley crowd, a typical mix of leather half armor and badly kept weapons. The leader pulled his mount up and stared at them. "Hello, ladies."

Xena dispensed with any of her usual snappy patter and just stepped forward, one hand reaching for her sword. "Get outta my way."

The man laughed. "Whooo..a spirited one.. " He kicked his horse into a rough gallop, and bore down on her, swinging down with a battle mace as he draw even with the still walking warrior.

Xena left her sword sheathed, and caught the mace, jerking hard and pulling the raider off his horse with a brutal yank. She let him hit the ground, then pulled him halfway up, and kneed him in the head, hearing the sickening crack as his neck broke, then letting him drop in a lifeless heap at her feet.

She glanced up. "Next?" Her eyes were ice cold. They shifted weight, the horses feeling their sudden fear and prancing against it. Then the one closest to her backed his mount, and started around them, keeping his fair distance from her. "Good choice." She waited for them all to head off into the distance, then resumed her silent pacing, with Argo nodding along at her side.

Gabrielle matched both steps and silence, moving her staff ahead of her rhythmically and very deliberately not looking back to see the dark heap tumbled in the roadway.

Around the next bend, and they could see smoke rising off the horizon. Xena stopped, and glanced at her. "Town."

The bard sighed. "Probably where those guys were coming from."

The warrior nodded, and turned, vaulting up on Argo's back and taking the reins in one hand. She sidestepped the mare over to where the bard was standing, and hesitantly extended an arm down. "Do you… I.. I mean, you can wait here if you want, Gabrielle, or …"

The bard gave her a tiny smile, and stepped forward, clasping the offered forearm, preparing herself for the lift as Xena shifted her body weight and pulled up, waiting for her to get settled behind her on Argo's saddle before she kneed the mare forward into a canter.

The sun warmed armor plates felt good against her, and she swung her staff down out of Xena's way while winding her other arm around the warrior's waist in a secure hold. Keep riding, Xena.. maybe if you do, I can sit back here, and pretend everything's ok again, all right? Do you know how bad I want that? She laid her head down against the broad shoulders and let the ache fill her, as the familiar warmth of Xena's body against her own trigged wistful memories of better times.

"Hey." Xena's voice called softly back. "You OK?"

Gabrielle took a snugger hold. "Yeah."

A long pause. "You sure?"

That dug a tiny little warm spot inside her. "What makes you think otherwise?" She responded, turning her head so that her voice would carry up to the warrior's ears.

For an answer, Xena's hand covered hers, and patted the surface she was holding onto.

Oh… "Just wishing." The bard sighed. At least we're here, we're talking to one another, and…maybe, just… maybe one day I'll see her smile at me again. And.. I'll smile back. And it'll be ok. The grief rushed over her again. Oh gods.. I don't want to lose what we had… please..please…. A hand suddenly warmed hers, and she felt Xena's fingers curl around her own and squeeze them.

"Maybe if we both wish for the same thing hard enough, it'll happen." The wind carried Xena's voice back to her. She hadn't expected that response, and it calmed her, as she rubbed her cheek absently against the leather armor.

Maybe. The ache subsided for the time being, and she concentrated on their destination, now growing larger just ahead and to their right. Half the town was in flames, and Argo snorted, her eyes rolling as the waves of heat hit them.

Xena pulled the mare to a halt and slid off her back, turning and catching Gabrielle as she followed suit, and lifting her gently to the ground in an automatic gesture. "Um.. I…let's see what we can do to help." The warrior said quietly, dropping her hands in confusion.

It made for a long day. The raiders had set fire to the granary storage, and the communal barn, as well as dragged the village well over. Xena watched Gabrielle start gathering up help and nodded quietly to herself, as she started pitching in with pulling water buckets from the half collapsed well, and sending them towards the fire. It was hard work, but she was glad for that, it kept her mind busy at least, and the quietly grateful looks of the villagers were an unexpected balm to a soul that felt very beaten up on.

They finally doused the fire, and Xena ducked inside the half burned stable, dodging the dangerously sagging roof supports as she unlocked the first stall, and made soothing noises at it's frantic occupant. "Easy.. easy… "

The stallion reared, and snorted, his eyes rolling wildly at her, his lungs full of the thick smoky air.

Xena carefully edged around him, and got a grip on his halter rope. "Easy now.. " She crooned gently, and was rewarded with an aggravated snort. "That's it.. take it easy.." With one flick of her wrist, she tossed a piece of linen she'd laid over her arm for just this purpose over the horse's head, effectively blinding him.

He calmed, and she was able to guide him out of the building, to the cheers and obvious relief off the gathered villagers. "He your stud?"

The blacksmith took hold of the halter. "Aye." His brown eyes found Xena's. "Gods be praised for ye.. after this winter, he was our only hope." He held out a soot-covered hand. "Antenius."

Xena sighed inwardly Well, it was nice while it lasted. She took the arm and shook it. "Xena."

His eyebrows shot up. "Really?" He turned around and faced the crowd. "Hey! This is Xena!!" He turned back to her. "My brother lives in Potadeia… he's the smith there…he can't stop talking about you."

The warrior blinked. "I remember him." She replied slowly. "His apprentice is married to my.." she hesitated, then went on. "My partner's sister." Her eyes glanced around, searching for the bard, then she froze. "Oh Hades."

Gabrielle was up near the top of the tree that dominated the village central courtyard, her wiry frame extended out along a swaying limb, working her way towards a very frightened, very bewildered kitten.

Xena clamped her jaw shut against the warning that threatened to explode from her throat. Isn't that one of the thing she said she hated? Treating her like a kid? Like someone who doesn’t know what they're doing? I know I did that. She let out a tired breath. I just wish I'd known how much she hated it. Hated me when I did it.She watched in silence as the bard inched along the limb, holding one hand out to the mewling creature.

"She's a brave one." Antenius whispered. "That's Gabrielle the Bard, isn't it?"

The warrior's eyes were glued to the bard. "Yes."

The smith gusted out a great sigh, his free hand stroking the stallion's neck affectionately. "What a story this will make, huh boy? You were rescued by Xena! You got one up on all the other stallions, that's for sure."

The bard had reached her goal, and the kitten sniffed at her fingers, finding something to like there, because it crawled towards her, and Gabrielle was able to get her hand around the animal's body.

She rose up to turn around on the branch, though, and a gust of wind sent the limb moving wildly, and dislodged her, sending her off the surface and barely giving her time to grab hold with one hand as she dangled high above the ground.

Xena never remembered moving, just.. she was there, under the tree all of a sudden, and focusing her eyes on the swinging body above her. "Gabrielle!' She felt her heart pounding. "Listen to me…"

"Ok." Came very faintly back. "I'm listening."

"Just… let go." Xena realized exactly what she was asking, and felt her heart sink. Would she do it? Will she trust me? "I'll catch you."

Gabrielle swallowed hard, hearing the words. She hated heights, and the thought of just releasing her grasp and falling.. gods.. She looked at the faintly mewling kitten. "I guess it all comes down to trust, huh? You trusted me to get you out of this. "

"Mew?" The kitten stared at her with frightened eyes.

"You just hang on, ok? Because I have a friend down there, who's gonna make this ok." She promised softly, then.. just… let go.

Xena saw the fingers of Gabrielle's hand relax, and she crouched, watching the bard fall, then exploding up as Gabrielle plummeted, wrapping her arms around the startled bard in mid air, then landing both of them as she took the impact on her legs, and let her body recoil from the ground with a tiny hop.

Immediately, she released the smaller woman, who was clutching her, eyes closed. "Gabrielle?"

The green eyes opened, and looked right up at her. "Nice catch." She blurted softly, which earned her a genuine smile. Not that little smirky one Xena used with other people, but one of her open, real smiles that got inside Gabrielle and made her smile back.

"Nice drop." The warrior answered quietly, aware of the gathering crowd.

Gabrielle held up the kitten. "I'm.. a sucker for a cute face."

Their eyes met quietly, and Gabrielle felt something stir, very deep down inside her that she thought had been gone forever. She gently took hold of it, and brought it close to her heart as a small hand tugged at her skirt. "Here you go." She knelt, giving the little girl back her kitten. The smudged, soot covered face broke into a big smile at her.

"Dank you." The girl hugged the animal, who mewled a protest, and toddled off.

Gabrielle watched her go, unable to fight down the lump in her throat. She remembered what Hope had felt like, nestled in her arms for that short, wretched time. So open, her blue eyes so trusting. She sighed, and felt a hand lightly touch her shoulder. A touch she knew. She stood, and half-turned, giving Xena a grateful look. "So.. how are things down here?"

Xena gazed at her a moment longer, then nodded towards the smith, who was feeling the stallion's legs carefully. "His brother's Tectdus."

The smith stood up and extended an arm to her. "I've heard lots about you, Gabrielle."

The bard took his arm and clasped it. "Um.. thanks." She used her other hand to push her hair back off her forehead. "What happened here?"

Xena left them telling the bard their unhappy tale, and walked over to the well, where the village mason was kneeling, cursing. "A mess, huh?"

He looked up wearily. "Bastards." He spat. "Not bad enough they have to take what we've got.. do they have to make in impossible to live, too?" He dragged a stone into place, and grunted a thanks as Xena dropped to one knee, and helped him. "Glad you two happened along." He glanced over his shoulder. "Lot riding on that horse.. got a dozen mares come into season he's covering."

Xena pulled another stone into place, and smoothed mud over the top of it, then stacked a third stone on top. "Glad we were around." They worked together in silence for a little while, as they built the well housing back up.

"You've got the touch for this, then. " The mason said, with surprised note in his voice. "You've done this before?"

Xena gave him a brief, sardonic smile, but before she could answer, a gentle voice drifted over her shoulder.

"She has many skills." Gabrielle had wandered up behind them, and put a hand on the warrior's shoulder, leaning against it casually. "Any chance of getting some water out of that well?" She watched as the mason obligingly drew up a bucket, and dipped into it, handing her the dipper with a gruff smile. "Thanks."

Xena remained quietly still, shaking her head a little as water droplets from the dipper fell on her.

A gentle, very soft laugh. "Sorry."

The warrior sucked in a pained breath, trying to remember when the last time was that she'd heard Gabrielle laugh. She gave up trying as the dipper came even with her eyes, and she took it carefully. "Thanks." A gentle brush of fingertips against her hair was her reward, as the bard left to continue her work trying to put the village stores back together.

"Lovely lass, that." The mason grunted, giving her a look.

Xena leveled a stare at him. "Yes, she is." One eyebrow quirked in a warning.

The mason raised a hand. "Ah now…no harm in me saying it, warrior. I can see she's taken." His eyes twinkled at her startled expression. "I may be older then these hills round here, but I know love when I see it, yes ma'am." He gave her a broad wink, and went back to his work.

Xena stood and walked towards the barn, turning her face into the wind and letting it blow her hair back out of her eyes. So. Even now, even after everything… Her eyes strayed to the old mason. I hope to the gods you're seeing something that's still there, my friend. She glanced up and swallowed. Because I don’t' think I can live without it. She looked down at her boots, covered with dust and soot from the fire. Not anymore.

They turned down an offer to stay in the village that night, saying they'd be nearby and come back in the morning to help finish putting the town back together again. It was just… Xena sighed. Easier for both of them.. as uncomfortable as they were with each other, it was still better than having to deal with strangers around. Especially strangers would knew who they were, and would surely be pestering Gabrielle for stories if they stayed in town.

So they came to another quiet campfire, in the last purple haze of twilight, sheltered against a tall rock formation which formed a backdrop that reflected the fire's light and made their shadows jump and dance along it's surface.

Gabrielle glanced down at herself and looked up with a rueful smile. "I.. need a bath." The bard was covered with soot and mud, and daubed liberally with flour from the ruined storeroom.

Xena looked over from where she was tucking kindling into the fire. "Me too." She rubbed a hand across her face, drawing soot over it, then stared at the hand. "You can go first." It had become their pattern, strained and odd seeing that they had never been shy with each other, even when they'd just started traveling with each other.Just one more hurtful reality, I guess. Xena stared tiredly at the ground.

A long silence fell between them, until Gabrielle took a breath, and cleared her throat. "Um.. you know, I was just thinking…kill two birds… and all that.. maybe you'll find a fish." She paused awkwardly. "No sense in you suffering in that itchy stuff longer than you have to.. I mean.. "

The warrior looked up. "All right, I'll go with you." It was a tiny thing, but she held it close and cherished it.

They walked in silence to the river, and got their clothes off, dragging them in the water with them for a scrub. Gabrielle quietly worked on hers, stealing glances over at the warrior, who was bathed in gentle moonlight, her dark head bent over her task. I'd forgotten just how much I love watching her. The thought whispered itself to her. It felt strange to be able to just do that, and not feel the haunting guilt that had kept them apart for so long, of secrets, and anger, and resentment that had built between them and blocked out the important things.

Like the fact that watching the muscles move across Xena's shoulders had always fascinated her. And the fact that she looked really good in moonlight. It reflected off her tanned skin, and brought out faintly blue highlights in her hair, and made the bard clamp her jaw down tight against the tears of relief that threatened to overwhelm her at the simple, quiet feelings she was experiencing.

A sudden, gentle wave bumped her, and she glanced up, to see blue eyes peering gently at her from an arms length away. "Hey.. if you're.. done.. I.." Xena gestured to the branches of a nearby tree. "Good spot to dry."

Gabrielle smiled, and handed her top and skirt over. "Thanks." She watched as the warrior waded over to where the tree overhung the bank, and lifted herself half up out of the water to carefully arrange the items to dry. The bard's eyes ran over the familiar form, and a tiny crease of worry appeared in her brow. Damn… she's all skin and bones.. when did that happen? Then her gaze dropped, and she let out a soft sigh. It has been happening for a while. You just didn't want to see it. She channels everything inside, and it's tearing her up. Wake up, Gabrielle.

"Dinar for your thoughts." Xena asked, not looking back at her.

Gabrielle glanced down at the water, and patted its surface gently. "You.. don't want them. You'll just accuse me of being a mother hen." She replied quietly, feeling the water ripple against her again, and sensing Xena's very close presence. She looked up, and met the warrior's eyes.

"I want them." Xena settled down next to her, wrapping one arm around her upraised knee, and gazing steadily at the bard.

Strangely, Gabrielle mused, that felt better than all the tiptoeing. "You're not eating." She returned the direct look. "You're not taking care of yourself, are you?"

Something in the back of Xena's eyes melted, before she dropped her gaze. . "Not very well, no." She answered in a husky tone. "I don't think I'm really good at that anymore."

Like in a dream, Gabrielle saw her hand reach out and tangle itself in the dark hair floating in the water. "Looking for a candidate for that job?"

Xena's breath stirred the water. "You applying?"

Gabrielle felt tears coming, and this time she let them, as the shadowy barriers faded back in her soulmate's eyes, and she got a glimpse of a person she used to know.. 'Yeah." She managed to respond. "I have experience." Her hand slid through the soft dark hair, and touched Xena's cheek, feeling the water-cooled flesh warm under her fingertips. Please.. Xena.. don't lock me out. I'm so tired of being out here in the cold.

Xena felt her heart jerking in her chest in an uneven rhythm as she fought down a surge of panic, caught between desperate need, and icy cold fear of opening herself up again. Then her mind focused on a hand releasing a branch in all confidence earlier that day, and she felt a sense of calm invade her jittery senses.

She looked over, and let out a tiny, scared breath. "I guess you're hired."

Gabrielle felt herself start breathing again, with a gentle inrush of air that brought the rich scent of the water and their soap to her. "All right.. tell you what, if you find us a fish, I bet I can put together some dinner up there." She gave the warrior a tentative smile. "I guess that's a good place to start."

A quirk twitched at the corner of Xena's mouth, and her eyes went unfocused for a moment, then a swift movement under the water startled the bard.

"Yow!" She yelped, as she watched Xena slip her hand out of the water clutching an enormous silvery fish.

"Grogh." The fish grunted at her. Even Xena looked startled. She thwacked the fish on the side of the head, and it quieted down. "Sorry."

Gabrielle bit her lip hard to keep from spluttering. "Um…" She peered at the fish. "What.. is that?"

Xena examined the specimen and sniffed reflectively. "I don’t know. I'm gonna call it a grunt."

The bard cocked her head a little. "Is it good to eat?"

The warrior shrugged. "You'll make it that way."

It was a tiny, offhand remark, unplanned, and somehow that made it all the more special. Gabrielle felt something loosen up inside her a little, and drank in the comment with simple pleasure. "Thanks."

They climbed out of the water, accompanied by the fish, who fought off it's stunning and grunted again, startling the bard who was walking a pace or two ahead of her companion. She turned around and glared at the fish, which was promptly smacked back into senselessness by Xena.

The bard headed towards their gear as soon as they entered the campsite, kneeling down and tugging out two sleep shirts, then standing up and walking over to her companion who was making sure the fish wouldn’t startle her any more. The warrior looked up as she approached and essayed a hesitant smile, then focused her vision on what the bard was carrying.

"Since your leathers are drying, I thought.. " Gabrielle explained softly, holding out one of the shirts, then pausing, as she saw the smile shape the warrior's lips.

"Mind if I take the other one?" Xena's voice held a rare, shy note.

The bard smiled back. "No.. I um… that's fine." She delivered the requested shirt, and hugged the other one to her, pulling it over her head and settling the folds over her body with a sense of quiet happiness, an emotion so foreign to her lately it felt exotic.

Xena finished scaling the fish before she neatly wiped her hands off, and stood, then shrugged into the shirt the bard had draped across her shoulder. "All yours." She told Gabrielle quietly, backing off from the fire and watching as the bard knelt and started preparing the fish., seeing the fire bring out all the highlights in her hair with a wistful smile. She sat down on a nearby rock and rested her elbows on her knees, content to just sit and observe in silence.

It had been the hardest thing of all, She reflected sadly, to realize Gabrielle no longer trusted her. No longer believed in her. She'd known it the moment she'd looked into the bard's eyes when Gabrielle had told her she'd killed Hope, on that mountaintop, and she knew it wasn't true.

It had destroyed something in her, the something that kept her doggedly headed on a path to reclaim herself, because somewhere along that path she'd realized Gabrielle meant more to her than the completion of the path itself. It was Gabrielle's belief that she tried to hold her journey to, and without that…

It hurt. And it hurt more to see them growing further and further apart, separated by their own natures. I should have tried to talk to her about what I was feeling. Xena sighed inwardly for the thousandth time. Why I felt what I did about Hope. No wonder she gave up on me.

When Gabrielle had decided not to go to Chin.. it hadn't surprised her. She'd spent the entire voyage over there wrapped in misery, staring out into the storm tossed seas and clinging forlornly to warm little memories that she knew were all she'd ever have left of what had been the center of her life so short a time ago. Even then, even knowing it was over, she missed Gabrielle more than she'd believed possible, and had cursed herself as a fool for believing in something as stupid and as dangerous as… forever.

I don't give up that easily. Gabrielle had said, on the voyage home. Not on something that means this much to me.

Betrayal? Xena let a tiny smile etch her face. That was no betrayal, my friend. It was supposed to be a one way trip. Then she stilled, as a thought occurred to her.

Ming Tien.. the bastard.. he'd goaded her into killing him. Why? Another thought. So had Krafstar. What if Gabrielle was right.. what if this whole thing… all if it… was planned? What they got from Gabrielle was obvious.. but from me?

"Hey?" A soft voice, from right in front of her caused her to look up with a start.

"Sorry." She blinked at Gabrielle. "Just thinking."

The bard sat down on the rock next to her, and mirrored her posture, bringing their shoulders into contact. "You looked like it." She commented softly, then glanced at the fire. "Be a little while.. that was a huge fish." She looked down and watched her fingers twine with each other.

"I think you were right." Xena pronounced the words carefully.

"Hmm? About what?" Gabrielle's brow creased. "The fish?"

"Something being behind what happened." The warrior replied briefly, staring at her own hands as though she'd never seen them before. "That something.. needed us apart. It couldn’t.. do what it needed to do if we weren't."

Gabrielle let out a tightly held breath. "Was Hope that something?" She stumbled over the name, when she realized it was the first time she'd said it out loud to Xena since…

Blue eyes narrowed. "I think that was the start of that something."

They looked at each other. "Xena.. it's not over, is it?"

"I don't think so, no." The warrior replied honestly.

Gabrielle nodded a little, then took a deep breath and faced her squarely. "I want you to know something. " She paused. "That trick isn't going to work a second time." Another pause. "You know what I realized tonight? After all that's happened, and everything they've done to me.. all the lies, and all the hatred, and… " She looked up into Xena's pain filled eyes. "They couldn’t kill the part of me that's you." She took a shaky breath. "Through everything.. and even if it got buried down deep somewhere, it was always part of me. And it always will be, I am not going to let them take that away, Xena, I want that part. I need it." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I need you."

"I don’t deserve that." The warrior replied with bleak honesty. "Whatever else, Gabrielle, in that cave… that was me." She dropped her head into her hands. "I hurt you."

Gabrielle squeezed her eyes shut. "I know." She took a breath. "You took away my faith in you." She leaned forward a little. "I think that hurt more than anything.. it was like something magical and special got taken out of my life." She opened her eyes and cast a worried glance at the still, silent form sitting frozen in place next to her. "But you know.. I’ve been thinking about that a lot.. and I think I’ve realized just how unfair that was of me."

Gabrielle leaned against her soulmate, and caught her ragged breathing. "I know what you are, Xena. I’ve always known." She lifted a hand and stroked the soft skin of her forearm. "The risk was always there… and you knew that, didn’t you?" She paused, but Xena didn’t answer. "I.. I’m willing to take that risk again, if you’ll let me."

Xena stared at the ground through a film of tears, letting the successive waves of grief, then shame, then aching disbelief pass through her. Gabrielle was right. She had always expected the worst.

The worst had happened.

And Gabrielle was still here. She was still here. They had gone to Tartarus and came back, with that bone deep love still hanging in there, against all the odds.

What was there to be afraid of anymore? Slowly, she raised her head, and met Gabrielle’s eyes. "You’re right. That trick won’t work a second time." And committed herself, with full knowledge, back into the light.

They sat quietly watching the fire crisp their dinner, only this time the silence was more comfortable, and Gabrielle felt her whole body relaxing, as she let her head rest casually against Xena’s shoulder. It felt.. like things were getting better. It still hurt, and they still had a long way to go, but… sitting here, she was starting to feel the first glimmerings of a familiar burning glow she’d thought she’d lost forever.

The fish turned out.. better than she’d expected, given it’s recalcitrant nature, and she found herself wanting more, but settled for retrieving an apple from her bag and nibbling on it while she watched Xena slowly finish hers, with a thoughtful look on her face. "Don’t like it?" The bard asked softly.

Blue eyes tracked up to hers and focused. "I do." Xena replied with a hint of smile. "Just tired I guess." Try exhausted. Her mind corrected her. But the good kind, for the first time in a long, long while. She stood up and walked over to their gear, and dropped to a crouch next to one saddlebag, digging around in it and pulling out her leather repair kit. "Gotta fix that shoulder strap." She commented quietly, as she stood again and turned, stopping short when she almost bumped into Gabrielle. "Whoa."

"Here." The bard passed her the almost dry leathers. "Why don’t you go over there and sit down with them.. you do look a little wiped."

Xena nodded a little. "Good idea." She went over to their bedroll, and collapsed onto it, tucking her legs up under her, and leaning on one elbow as she pulled her stitching needle out and examined the unraveling strap.

Gabrielle spent a moment just looking at her, then smiled, and shook her head a little, and knelt beside her own gear, removing her diary and the small case she kept her quills and ink in. A rustle caught her ear, and she glanced down, seeing that the folded leather pouch Xena kept some personal trinkets in had fallen out of her bag. She reached down, and picked it up, scowling a little as she realized the top had fallen open, and some small pieces of folded parchment had fallen out. She had retrieved and replaced most of them before one unfolded in her fingers, and she realized what they were.

Faded characters in a familiar hand faced her, and grabbed her heart. Her poems, written to Xena at different times, in different places, all stored here, and from the worn creases in the parchment read more than the once. She read the one in her hand, and it brought tears to her eyes, along with the memory of what had caused her to write it. Oh Xena….

With a sigh, she tucked the parchment back in the bag, and stored it in Xena’s gear, picking up her diary and moving over to the fire, where she put on the water pot and knelt, carefully mixing herbs into two cups for tea.

She never heard Xena move, just felt the warm, unmistakable presence at her back just before a hand landed on her shoulder, and she turned her head to gaze up at the warrior. Finding herself caught by.. and drowning in Xena’s concerned regard. "What’s wrong?" The warrior asked quietly, dropping down to a crouch so they were on a level.

It settled like a pall on her, but she knew she couldn’t avoid the issue any longer. "N.. no, I just.. there were some… just.. poems… little.. they fell out… I.."

The hand shifted from her shoulder, and gently brushed her cheek. "Those.. kept me.. going.. in some very dark times." The warrior admitted quietly. "They um.. reminded me that at… one time… " She paused, and swallowed. "I.. had someone who.. " Another pause. "a actually believed in me." She looked into the fire, and poked it with a stick. "They.. were all I had left."

Gabrielle felt the anguish. "Xena.. I think I’ve lost that." She whispered. "I .. I can't .. it's like they're lost, and I don't even know where to look for them." She clutched at her head. "It used to be all colors up here.. and now it's all.. gray… nothing… and..and.. I don't know what to do."

A scattering of dust as the warrior swiveled her knees in the dirt next to the fireplace. "Look at me." Xena waited for the sad green eyes to lift. "You're wrong… that gift is a part of you. " She searched the bard's grief stricken face. "Gabrielle, they’re in there. Just… give yourself a little time." She reached out and brushed a lock of red gold hair back and let her fingers warm against the bard’s skin. "I can see them in your eyes."

The bard blinked. "You can?"

Xena nodded slightly. "Yeah.. it’s this little.. kind of look you get." She chewed her lip. "Kinda like your mind is focusing on something you can’t actually see."

"Really?" Gabrielle willingly allowed herself to be distracted. Make me believe that, Xena. Against her will, a little ball of hope ignited inside her, fueled by the warrior’s solemn, steady affirmation. Without thinking, she let her body fall forward, wrapping her arms around Xena’s neck in a grateful hug. "Thanks."

Xena was absolutely still for a long instant, then she returned the hug, burying her face in the rich herbal scent of the bard’s fair hair. It felt so good that it almost hurt, bringing back vivid memories of the time before the darkness fell over them both, and she felt a pang of grief as she released the smaller woman, and let her arms fall back down awkwardly. "You… just wait, Gabrielle. One of these days.. they’ll just come pouring out." She told her softly.

It felt like a weight being lifted off her shoulders, as she leaned back and gazed up at the warrior. "All right.. " She grinned a little "But no complaints from you when it happens and I get swamped in them."

"No.. no complaints." Xena assured her, with a tentative smile.

The warrior stood and went back to their bedroll, curling up on it again and getting back to work on her damaged leathers. Gabrielle finished fixing the tea, then chewed her lip a little, and took a breath. OK… couldn’t hurt to just go sit by her, right? She carried the cups over to the bedroll, and lowered herself carefully, handing Xena hers, and settling cross legged on the soft furs next to the warrior. "Mind if I join you?"

Xena looked up at her over the rim of her mug, the gentle steam rising up and misting her eyes. "No."

Gabrielle smiled to herself, and opened her diary, balancing it on her knees and selecting a quill from the case and sharpening the tip against the small whetstone Xena had fixed to the flap for that purpose.

If there ever were two days completely different, it would be yesterday and today. Last night, I thought we were so far apart we might as well really be strangers.

Today.. well, today.. it’s like something snapped inside her, and, maybe inside me too, because for the first time since Hope and Solon died, I got a glimpse of an old friend in there.

I’m not sure whether that’s good or bad, because seeing that glimpse…makes me remember all the times before, and I find that I want to go back so badly I can taste it.

And.. it hurts when I realize I may never be able to go back there.

I miss it. I miss just being able to tease and play with her. She can’t take that now.. I did with words in that cave what she did with her fists.. and she’s as afraid of me as I am of her.

But you know what? When she told me to let go today I just did.. you know I never thought about whether or not she was going to catch me.. I just trusted that she would. Never even thought about it at all. Wonder if she realized?

Our link is back. I was pretty shocked. Maybe our sleeping together last night kind of triggered that. Not real strong, but… it was great to feel it. Well, not great, because neither of us is really happy, but. .that was blocked off for a long time, and I kind of missed it.

She thinks my stories are still in there. I think I’ll decide to believe what she believes on that.. she’s pretty good at knowing what’s going on with people, and especially with me. Besides, I really want to believe it, so I guess I will. It felt really good to hear her say the words though.

It felt really good to hear her say a lot of things today. I know some of the things I said hurt her.. but it’s important that we only have honesty between us now. No.. sparing feelings. Not now. Not… now.

I feel good. It feels so strange to write that. It’s been a long time.

Xena finished her stitching task, and set both leathers and kit aside, then spent a moment watching Gabrielle write, smiling a little at the familiar look of concentration on her face, with just the tip of her tongue sticking out, and the finely defined muscles in her forearm tensing and relaxing as she wrote.

She’s so cute. The thought startled her. Not that it wasn’t true, but… something was changing. She rolled over, and regarded the stars with searching eyes. No. Not changing. She let out a long breath. I’m still in love with her. The truth of it shocked her, but brought a tiny smile to her face as well.

A voice drifted over, and she realized Gabrielle had put her diary away. "Hey.. that offer still open?" The bard’s tone was half gentle banter, and half wistful pleading.

Xena turned her head. "Sure." She waited for Gabrielle to settle against her, and smiled at the contented sigh that briefly warmed her skin through the fabric. Then she looked steadily up at the stars, and narrowed her eyes. Aphrodite, if we make it through this, I owe you.

Anything.

Then she firmly closed her eyes, and settled down to sleep.

The first gentle robin's calls were just breaking the predawn stillness when her eyes drifted open again, and she breathed in the early morning air that still held hints of their fire, and the damp green smell of the dewy vegetation around them. Off to the right, the warrior could hear the rustle of Argo's hooves, then the steady sound of chewing. The warrior felt a faint smile touch her lips, thinking of the twin colt foals Argo had cheerfully left behind when they'd picked her up on their way past Amphipolis.

The foals were being raised by Cyrene's phelgnatic cart mare, who was much better suited to it than the spirited war horse. "Typical." Cyrene had snorted, giving her a look. "You can tell whose horse she is." Then she'd gently grasped Xena's arm. "Honey, what's wrong?"

She'd been alone there, and she'd just… "Mother.. I think I've lost her." And she'd told her all of it. About Britannia, and Chin…accepting Cyrene's shocked stare and ending with her head cradled in her hands.

"Oh.. Xena." The innkeeper had breathed, and circled her daughter's shoulders with her arms. "Ok.. ok.. honey, listen to me, all right?"

"Yeah." Xena had let out a breath. "But I think I screwed it up way past redemption this time, mother."

"Xena." Cyrene had firmly grasped her chin and forced her eyes up. "Do you still love her?"

The warrior had felt tears building. "Yes." Still?. Always.

"Does she still love you?" A very gentle question.

It was like a vise, gripping her heart. "I .. I don't know. I.. I don't think so." Just saying it had brought home the horror, and a sense of staggering loss.

Cyrene let out a careful breath. "But you're not sure."

She had been silent for a long moment. "No."

"Then don't give up on this." The innkeeper had said softly. "I believe in you both, and I think you've got the strength together to pull through." She combed the disheveled hair out of her daughter's eyes. "Promise me, Xena. Don’t' give up. "

Xena had sighed. "I promise."

I kept my promise, mother. The thought meandered through her still foggy consciousness, as she glanced down at the bard snuggled up against her. Don’t ask me how. She craned her head to see the bard's face, and felt a little something melt inside her at the tiny incredulous smile on Gabrielle's lips.

Like this, and in the quiet of pre dawn, she could take a few wistful moments out, and pretend it was all ok again. Pretend that Gabrielle was going to wake up, and they'd snuggle a little, and trade some light banter, and she'd watch the sunlight slowly pick up the golden highlights in the bard's misty green eyes. And she'd smile and laugh, even if it was early morning.

But it wasn't like that now. Xena had no idea if Gabrielle even had feelings like that for her anymore. That Gabrielle loved her.. no doubt. But was the bard in love with her anymore? That was too much to hope for. It would be enough to just restore a semblance of their friendship.. though now she was beginning to be more confident that was possible.

She could still pretend, though. For a little while. Gabrielle stirred sleepily, and nestled closer, blinking once or twice and yawning a bit before closing her eyes again and giving the warrior a tiny pat on the belly as she relaxed back into a deeper sleep.

Xena swallowed hard, and carefully wrapped her arms a little tighter around the bard’s warm body, closing her own eyes, and letting a few errant tears spill silently into the red gold hair tucked under her chin. You were right, mother… I don't know how our love survived this, but it did…thanks for the advice.. it saved me.

Breakfast was a pretty quiet affair, and they got underway towards the village shortly after, arriving as a group of tired looking villagers were returning, pulling a load of newly downed and rough cut trees behind them.

"Don’t get too many splinters." Gabrielle whispered, as she gave the warrior a gentle pat on the side before sliding down from Argo’s high quarters and heading towards the group of workers around the inn.

Xena smiled a little to herself, then kneed Argo over to where a large spot had been cleared to receive the new lumber, and dismounted, removing her wood ax from the mare’s saddlebags. As she walked closer, the workers looked up, and gave her warm smiles.

"Morning." She gave them back a brief nod, and started in to work, glad to be able to lose herself, at least for a while, in hard labor. She kept at it until they’d trimmed and split all the logs, and cut them to size, then helped carry them over to where two hard working carpenters were rebuilding the side of the storage hut.

Standing up, she dusted her hands off, and glanced at the sun, then let her eyes travel over the courtyard in casual search. She spotted Gabrielle within moments, standing in the shade next to the inn’s wall, talking with a tall villager who was leaning against the wood and gesturing to make a point.

Gabrielle’s voice drifted across on the wind, and Xena watched as she reached out and clasped the young man’s arm, making her own point, then they both laughed. The warrior felt a heavy sensation fill her, and she leaned back against the tree she was standing under and tried to deal with the mixture of regret and envy that she was feeling. Why shouldn’t Gabrielle have a good time? The guy was cute, and the type Xena had always thought the bard was partial to, until..

She turned away, and gazed out at the road leading away from the village instead. You don’t own her. She told herself quietly. Let it go. Let… if she can find some happiness, you’ve got no right to interfere with that. None. She took a deep breath, and squared her shoulders, then turned back towards the inn to see Gabrielle trotting towards her.

"Hey." The bard greeted her as she came up. "Listen.. um…" She glanced behind her. "If we keep at this, it’ll be done by tonight.. it’ll be late, but.. they’ve offered to put us up here." She stepped closer. "Look. .I know it’s…hard." She took a breath. "They’re asking me.. and.. maybe… I think.. I."

"Sure." Xena said quietly. "Looks like it’s gonna rain tonight anyway. "

Gabrielle looked at her. "You sure you’re ok with this?"

The warrior nodded. "It’s fine. Why don’t.. why don’t you go ahead. I..need to take care of Argo." Her peripheral vision told her the young villager was waiting near the inn door and she tried to ignore the pain in her chest at the thought. "And um.. I"m going to help raise that new wall."

Green eyes studied her cautiously. "Be careful."

A brief smile. "I will… you too." She paused. "It’s… pretty hot out.. make sure you get some water, ok?"

The bard smiled back. "I will." She put a hand out and rubbed Xena’s arm lightly. "Thanks." Then she turned and trotted back to her group, turning her head slightly as the young villager joined her, and stayed close by her side.

Xena watched for a moment more, then sighed, and went back to where the carpenters were struggling to align two spars and join them. She took a corner of the heavy main spar and lifted it, bringing the entire thing even. "Try that."

The older carpenter glanced around, and gave her a grateful smile. "That’ll do the thing.. thank the gods for blessing us with you, Xena."

The warrior gave him a half hearted grin, and bent her head, feeling the afternoon sun warm her shoulders, and letting the fitful breeze move the hair out of her eyes.

"We’re about done." Gabrielle sighed, leaning back against the newly placed shelving in the storage hut. "Not bad." She cast a glance over at her attentive companion. "Good as new, huh Teren?"

The young man finished rolling a barrel into place, and straightened, walking over to her and smiling down. "Almost." He raked a hand through his straight blond hair and sighed. "I"ll be ready for dinner.. what about you, Gabrielle?"

The bard’s lips quirked. "I need to find a wash bucket first. I’m a mess." She glanced down at the dust and wood chips covering her.

Tessan grinned down at her. "Not at all." He brushed a chip or two off her shoulder. "You look just fine."

Gabrielle felt a giggle coming on and clamped down on it. He’s flirting with me. She realized with an amused start. Any other time, she might have found it almost funny, and moderately entertaining, but now… now she was too raw, and things were too strained. Her life didn’t need any more complications.

"Lying doesn’t do anything for you. " She informed Teren briskly. "Excuse me." She ducked out of the storage hut, and headed in the direction of the well, enjoying the spectacle of the sunset sending orange red spears through the gathering blue twilight. One covered the well, and she stepped into it, feeling the warmth cover her shoulders as she pulled up a bucket of water and rinsed herself off.

She was tired, but it was a good kind of tired, filled with the knowledge that she’d done a good job for these people, and their lives would be better for it. She leaned against the well support, and sipped a few mouthfuls of water from the dipper, just enjoying the fading light, and the breeze rich with the scent of soil and wood.

Finally she turned, and put the bucket back down the well, brushing her damp hands off against her skirt and glancing towards the barn. The new wall had been built and tacked into place, though she could see that more fastening needed to be done, along with caulking to keep the winds out. She headed towards there, knowing instinctively it was where she’d
find Xena.

Sure enough, there was Argo’s dully gleaming hide in a corner stall, and she could see a dark, slumped form in the straw near the mare’s head. She approached quietly, not wanting to wake the warrior if she was sleeping, but the dim light reflected off of blue eyes as Xena watched her approach. "Hey.." She circled Argo’s haunches, and dropped lightly into the straw next to the warrior. "Wall looks great."

Xena’s lips curled in a brief smile. "Not bad." She returned her attention to her hand, then gave the bard a sheepish look. "Splinters."

"Tch tch." Gabrielle settled down and held her hand out. "Let me see."

The warrior opened her mouth to protest, then closed it again, and simply did as she was requested, flinching a little as the bard probed a particularly deep sliver.

"Sorry." Gabrielle gave her hand a little pat. "Give me a second." She bent her head over the muscular palm, and gently pried the wood loose with a pair of tweezers, then worked out the remaining stubborn pieces. "There." She smoothed the angry looking skin with a fingertip, and looked up. "You ready to get some dinner?"

Xena took her hand back, and studied the reddened palm. "You.. go on..I’m.. not much up for company right now." She swallowed. "Besides.. if you.. get a chance to do some storytelling.. better that I'm not there." She gave a light shrug. "Distraction."

Gabrielle sighed, and played with a bit of hay. "Actually, I was kinda hoping for some moral support." She looked back up and met Xena’s eyes. "I could use it." She bit her lip, keeping back the fear that had flooded through her at the thought of trying to perform. "I'm… really kind of jittery."

Warm hands folded over hers, and Xena’s thumbs rubbed gently against her knuckles. ""Then l’ll be there." The warrior reassured her simply. "Let me just wash up." Her eyes searched Gabrielle’s face. "Looks like you got some sun today."

The bard focused her gaze on their linked hands. "Yeah.. tingles a little." She wrinkled her nose, and glanced up. "Does it look too bad?"

The warrior took in the flush of pink across Gabrielle’s face and gave her a smile. "No." The last sunlight was edging in the open doorway, and backlighting the bard in molten crimson. "Not at all." She suspected her admiration was showing on her face, because the bard’s sunburned features went a shade darker so she sighed, and released Gabrielle’s hands. "Go on."

Gabrielle straightened up out of the straw, and twitched her skirt into place, moving out of the sunlight and letting it fall over Xena’s sprawled body, bringing out the rusty highlights in her brown leathers. "Thanks." She said quietly.

The warrior blinked up at her, through the sparkling haze of dust particles trapped in the sunlight and shrugged. "That’s what friends are for, right?" In a quiet, wistful voice.

Gabrielle swallowed the lump in her throat. "Only when you’re very lucky." She turned, and walked out, hugging herself a little and trying to steady her breathing as she ran through a small list of comfortable, familiar short stories she could do. Gods.. I hope I don’t just freeze up… She sighed inwardly as she reached the inn door, and it opened, to reveal Teren's friendly face. Oh boy….. Another reason to have Xena around.

Xena laid there in the straw for a long moment, absorbing the fading sunlight, and letting the ache in her chest subside as she ran over the bard’s words. Finally she heaved herself up out of the hay pile, and shook the stalks out of her leathers and armor, and flicked negligent fingers through her hair to settle it.

Thoughtfully, she unclipped her armor, and lifted it over her head, setting it down next to Argo and rotating her shoulders to get the stiffness out of them, as she looked around for water. "Guess it’s the trough outside, Argo." She muttered to the mare, who whickered back. "Be right back."

She ambled over to the rear door to the stable, which had been half blocked by fallen timbers, and stepped carefully over the half burnt wood, before pushing the door open and stepping out.

She sensed them before she saw them, and her body was already reacting before her eyes registered their identity and a wave of guilt crashed over her. She froze her reaction, and let her arms drop, closing her eyes as a surface of hardened wood connected with her head, slamming her against the barn wall and dropping her to the ground in a limp heap.

Solari lowered her crossbow and swallowed. "I can’t believe it was that easy." She said between nervously ragged breaths.

Eponin stared at the still form, fingering her chobos absently. "She let me."

The taller Amazon stared at her. "What?"

Eponin shook her head. "She looked me right in the eye, Soli. And dropped her hands. I saw it. She let me."

The two Amazons looked at each other. "We’d better find Gabrielle." Eponin sighed finally. " You go look around. I’ll stay here."

Solari gave her a very unhappy look. "You be careful, all right?"

Eponin nodded and waved her off, dropping to one knee beside the unconscious warrior. "She’s out cold… go on."

Solari stepped over Xena’s long legs, and entered the barn, moving around the burnt wood and stopping next to Argo’s familiar bulk. "Hello, Argo." The Amazon murmured as she passed the mare, who snorted angrily at her. Solari ran her eyes over the horse’s gear, spotting items she knew were the bard’s, including the bag the Amazon recognized as the one Gabrielle kept her scrolls in. A light touch at it’s surface told her that was still the case, and she felt her brows knit. It all looked.. normal.

But she’d been at the village when Xena had ridden in, and seen the look on the warrior’s face when she hauled Gabrielle’s lighter body aboard the mare, and took off, scattering a squad of Amazon warriors trying to stop them. Ephiny had ended up with a broken arm, and a seething anger of her own that had sent them out in search of the pair.

And so they’d found them. Solari sighed and went out the front of the barn, looking around, and deciding the best choice of places to find Gabrielle was right in front of her. She took a breath, and headed towards the inn, reaching the door and pulling it open, to peek inside.

Gabrielle’s voice caught her attention, and she turned her head, to be met with startled, and then alarmed green eyes as the bard recognized her. She let her vision scan the slim form as Gabrielle rose and walked her way, relieved that she seemed unharmed. An uneasy feeling began to run through her guts Unharmed, and in fact, looking a lot better than the last time the Amazon had seen her.

"Solari?" Gabrielle got within reach of her and held out an arm. "What are you doing here?" Her eyes flicked to the door, and back to the Amazon.

"Are you all right?" Solari asked quietly.

Gabrielle’s brows creased. "Yeah, I’m fine.. what…" Then she realized. "Oh. Yes, I’m.. I"m fine, Solari.. gods.. that was stupid. I should have… " She stopped when she saw Solari bite her lip. "What?"

Solari groaned inwardly. "Ephiny sent us.. Eponin’s out there..she… Gabrielle, we thought you… she didn’t mean to… oh gods, what a mess."

Green eyes drilled into hers. "What happened?"

The Amazon took her arm and guided her outside. "We’d better get back… we thought you were… being held against your will, Gabrielle. We decided to… Eponin thought if she could get in one quick hit maybe we could… well, she did, but she said she thought Xena just let her…I don’t.."

She stopped talking as Gabrielle wrenched free and took of towards the barn at a dead run. "Guess we were wrong." She sighed to the wind, and took of after her.

Eponin looked up at the approaching footsteps and sucked in a breath at the expression on Gabrielle’s face. Oh oh. She stood and backed up as the bard dropped to both knees next to her unconscious companion, and gently felt her pulsepoint. "Um… Gabrielle.. I.."

Gabrielle just turned her head and looked at her. "Why?" Her voice held a note of quiet anger.

Eponin spread her hands. "We thought… damn it, Gabrielle, what were we supposed to think?"

The bard threw up a hand in an angry gesture. "So you just came riding in here, and thought you’d do..what, bash her over the head? Couldn’t you have even asked me first? Don’t I have a choice here?"

Solari knelt down, out of the bard’s easy reach. "Look.. you’re an Amazon Queen, Gabrielle. People just don’t treat our queens like that and get away with it, I don’t care if they are Xena."

Gabrielle sat down with her back against the barn wall, and pulled Xena’s limp form into her lap, cradling her battered head against her chest. "In case I haven’t made it perfectly clear…" The bard said very slowly, and very deliberatly. "That this woman is the most important thing in my life, more important to me than my title, and the Amazons, and anything else, let me just say it so we don’t have any more misunderstandings." She gently felt the lump on the warrior's head and winced. "I'm here because I want to be here, damn it."

"But.." Eponin started forward, stopping when Gabrielle fixed her stare on her.

"Stay back. " The bard said softly. "I don’t want you to get hurt if she comes around and doesn’t know what’s going on."

Solari gazed at her. "In that case, you should get back, too, Gabrielle."

The bard gently straightened the disheveled hair on Xena’s forehead. "She won’t hurt me."

Eponin knelt down and braced an arm on her knee. "That’s not true, and we know it."

Gabrielle looked up and met her eyes. "Yes it is. Now, more than ever." She took a breath. "Did she defend herself against you, Pony?"

Eponin sighed, and looked at the dirt. "No." Then her gaze swept up. "She broke Ephiny’s arm, Gabrielle."

"And delivered her son." The bard answered right back." And saved her life. Doesn’t that equal out, or is Amazon pride so unbending that bad acts have to be answered by bad acts, regardless of the consequences, or the circumstances?" She took a breath. "Damn it, Eponin, she doesn’t need any more guilt, all right? Neither of us do.. we have enough between us to last several lifetimes."

Eponin’s gaze softened. "I know.. Gabrielle.. I"m sorry.. believe me I am. We just thought we were doing what was best for you." Her fingers drew a design in the dirt. "Are you … Look.. Eph wanted me to tell you this, all right? We’re your family too, Gabrielle.. you have a place with us. You… have a choice, if you want one. Or if you need one."

Gabrielle gave her a little smile. "I know that, Pony." She sighed. "I should have sent word to you.. that was pretty stupid. I.. it’s been hard.. it’s going to take us time, but… "

Eponin watched the bard’s hands at their gentle, soothing motions. "But it’s working out?"

The bard’s eyes warmed. "Yeah." She let out a long sigh. "We’re gonna be all right."

The Amazon sat down with a thump. "Well, I’ll start composing my apology then." She gave Xena’s still body an apprehensive look. "I have a feeling I"m gonna be snacking on one of my own chobos."

"S’allright." Came Xena’s slightly groggy voice. "I needed a nap."

Gabrielle glanced down, and saw half closed blue eyes gazing up at her. "Can’t leave you alone for a minute, can I?" The teasing comment came out before she could edit it, and she bit her lip, but the warrior’s face didn’t tense at the comment. She looked up at the two Amazons, who were watching intently. "Go on to the inn. We’ll join you shortly."

Eponin sighed. "All right." She stood and offered Solari a hand up. "Listen, Xena…"

One blue eye rolled in her direction. "You’ve been wanting to do that since Solstice. Congratulations."

That shut Eponin up, and she just grunted, then stomped off towards the inn, with Solari hurrying to keep up.

A little silence fell. "So.. how long have you been awake?" Gabrielle asked quietly, making no move to release the captive warrior.

"Long enough." Xena replied, making no move to free herself.

"Sorry about that." The bard made a rueful face.

A shrug. "They had cause to be concerned. " Xena sighed. "We should have sent word.. that was.. kinda… "

"Stupid." Gabrielle confirmed. "Yeah… so… what’s with letting her hit you?" The bard’s fingers gently probed the bump on the side of her companion’s head.

Xena didn’t answer for along moment. "Maybe I thought deserved it." She quietly admitted.

Gabrielle looked at the newly star scattered sky in appeal. ‘Did it make you feel better?"

The warrior eyed her warily. "No."

"Did it make her feel better?" Gabrielle asked gently.

"I don’t think so." Xena mumbled.

The bard nodded. "So.. it’s just more warrior ego poop, right?"

That got a faint grin in response. "Maybe."

Silence. "Did you hear everything I said?" Gabrielle finally asked.

Xena blinked at her and nodded.

"Good." And Gabrielle ducked her head, kissing her partner's forehead, and pulling her close in a heartfelt hug. "I meant all of it." She whispered in the nearby ear, then released the warrior. "Your head ok?"

Xena slowly eased herself up on her elbows and winced. "More or less, yeah." She blinked her vision a little clearer. "That was pretty stupid wasn't it." She swiveled around until she was leaning against the barn wall next to the bard, and let her head rest on the wood. "Gods.. I'm.. damn, I'm sorry about Ephiny."

Gabrielle gave her a sideways glance, and laced her fingers together. "I know you are." She replied quietly. "Look.. she'll be ok."

Xena stared off into the distance. "She was a friend." She said in a small voice, as she let her head roll to one side and closed her eyes.

"She still is." The bard answered. "She's just scared for me."

The warrior shook her head sadly. "She sent two of her best warriors to kill me, Gabrielle." Xena told her with soft bluntness. "I don't blame her."

"I do." The bard snapped back angrily. "And if I find out she did that, a broken arm is going to be the least of her worries." She let out a peeved breath between her teeth. "Look.. Xena… you were in a lot of pain when that happened.. pain that I helped cause." She put a tentative hand on Xena's knee. "I understand that. I accept it." Xena's hand covered hers, and she shifted around so that she was facing the warrior. "A.. and… Xena.. I want.. I want you to know that.. I.. I would have.. " She stopped, and collected herself for a moment. "I would have.. rather died myself.. than have something happen to Solon." She finished in a whisper, looking at the ground. "You… know.. that right?"

The warrior's fingers gently grasped her chin and turned her face up to force eye contact. "I know that, Gabrielle." Her voice was tired. "I'm sorry you had to do what you did to Hope."

There.. the names were between them. "I… I know that hurt you terribly… and… I know I should have.. I wanted to.. to be there for you but…I just…" Her shoulders slumped. "It was too much for me..I couldn't…" Xena sighed softly, then gathered herself again. "I would have taken responsibility for that, if you'd…" The warrior let that trail off into silence. "I didn't want you to have to live with that… I've done.. so much… and… I thought you hated me anyway.. what difference would…" She stopped, and lifted a hand, then let it drop.

"No." The bard drew a ragged breath. "I couldn't let you do that… Xena.. couldn't let you bear that weight along with everything else..I thought….I hated myself so much at that moment…I almost…" She looked up at Xena.

"I know." The warrior whispered. "I saw you."

Gabrielle stopped breathing. "Would you have stopped me?"

Xena looked right at her. "Yes." Remembering fingers slick with sweat clenched around her chakram.

The bard closed her eyes, then let them blink open. "Why?" Her throat moved as she swallowed. "Xena.. I saw your face when you found us… I could see in your eyes what you were thinking.. why would you have stopped me then?"

Xena remained silent for a while. "Same reason I didn't just let that cave take me along with Callisto." She said softly. "I'm a lot of things, Gabrielle, but I'm no coward. I wasn't going to give up like that without at least…" She paused and swallowed. "Facing you." Her eyes searched Gabrielle's face. "Dying would have been the easy way out… and I.. I made a promise to someone once.. that I wouldn't ever take that way out again." She fell silent. "And… and even through the hatred… there was still a part of me… that…needed you."

The bard nodded slowly. "You taught me to take responsibility for my actions, Xena." Her eyes grew misty "When I realized… you.. were right about Hope..I… I had to do what I did." She let out a tired breath, and lifted her hands, letting them drop against her legs with a soft sound. "I couldn’t let that fall on your shoulders, love."

It slipped out so quickly she had no time to think before it was passed her lips. "I… " She rubbed her face with one hand. "That was my heart talking, I guess." She mumbled, glancing up wistfully at the warrior.

"Come here." Xena held out her arms, and the bard crawled into them, burying herself into the warm comfort without restraint. "Sometimes… our hearts talk better than we do, my bard." She whispered, and felt Gabrielle's body jerk as she started sobbing. "I've missed you so."

Gabrielle clutched at her leathers, breathing in the scent of her like it was some vital thing she needed as she did air. Maybe it was, her frazzled mind concluded. She felt Xena's hands move in a quiet, familiar pattern of comfort against her back, and it was as though tiny threads were being rewoven inside her. Something had changed.. some barrier had broken, and as she let the warmth flow through her, a sudden knowledge settled on her like the soft misting rain that was now falling.

She was on the road home.

Long, silent minutes passed, as two souls, separated by anger and a cruel fate gently reacquainted themselves. "Guess we should probably get out of the rain." Xena finally mumbled, a trifle sheepishly.

Unseen, a smile creased Gabrielle's face. "What rain?"

That got her a smile from the warrior, who stood, carrying them both up to their feet, and wrapping an arm around her as she guided them back inside the warm barn. Argo poked her head over the stall and regarded them, then whickered encouragingly.

"Xena?" Gabrielle’s voice drifted up from where the bard was tucked against the warrior’s side.

"Mm?" Xena responded, exploring the bump hidden in her dark hair with tentative fingertips. She hit a particularly sore spot and winced. "What?"

"Promise me something?"

The warrior stopped dead still, and gave Gabrielle an uncertain look. "OK."

Green eyes studied her gravely. "Don’t let them do that to you again."

One dark eyebrow quirked up. "I just…"

Gabrielle put both hands flat against her chest and leaned in. "I know. But please don’t."

Xena’s back straightened, and her shoulders came up a little. "All right." She promised soberly. "But you have to promise me something."

The bard blinked a little. "All right."

The warrior lifted her hands hesitantly, and covered the bard’s, still resting on her chest. "Don’t be mad at them for doing it." She replied softly. "They care about you, Gabrielle… they were trying to protect you."

Gabrielle let out a tense breath, and chewed her lip a moment. Then she sighed. "All right." Her eyes darted up. "But they better not try it again." Her face was very serious. "You.. are my champion."

Xena gazed at her quietly. "Still?" The word came out in husky tone.

The bard bit back tears. "Always." She whispered, as she let herself fall gently against the damp leather, and laid her head where she could hear the strong heartbeat.

The warrior brushed her lips against the bard’s rain dusted hair, and stroked it gently, closing her eyes and listening to the faint roll of thunder overhead. The sound soothed her ragged nerves and she found herself wishing they could just stay like that and not have to go out and face the rain, and the villagers, and those Amazons. But… it was important to Gabrielle, and she owed her all the support she could muster, so.. "Guess we’d better go before they come looking for us." She finally sighed reluctantly. "You promised some folks a story."

The bard’s eyes fluttered open, and she blinked sleepily. "Um.." Her brow scrunched. "Did I just fall asleep standing up?"

Xena chuckled gently and ruffled her hair. "Must have been all that sun you got."

Gabrielle yawned, and leaned back against Argo’s stall. The mare lipped her hair, and snorted softly down the back of her neck. "Aughhh.. Argo.. cut that out." Obligingly, the horse stuck her nose into her water bucket, and sucked up a mouthful of water. "Thank you." The bard turned back around, and crossed her arms. "Thought I’d… just do something I really know…maybe I’ll.. I thought maybe the Trojan War.. Yahgghhh!!!!" The bard let out a wild yell, startling herself and Xena, and launched herself across the straw right into the warrior’s arms.

"Gabrielle!!" Xena blurted, catching the bard but losing her own balance, and cursing a little as they both tumbled into the straw behind her. "What…."

"Ughh…" Gabrielle reached behind her and wiped at the back of her neck. "Very funny, Argo." She shook her head rapidly and scattered a handful of cold droplets over herself and Xena. "She blew cold water down my back."

Xena bit her lip, and reached up to brush a few errant drops off the bard’s hair. "Sorry about that." She cast a glance over at the mare. "Bad girl." She paused, and stayed very still, as the bard took a breath, and gazed into her eyes. "Woke you up though, huh?"

Gabrielle concentrated on keeping her breathing even, and tried to ignore the creeping warmth that was spreading through her from the body trapped beneath her own. "Yeah." She heard the husky note in her voice, and felt the blush color her cheeks. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, then rolled off the warrior’s sprawled form and got to her feet. "Sorry."

Xena rose up with her, and captured her eyes. "Are you?" A sad, quiet regret colored her voice.

Caught in that regard, Gabrielle sucked in several ragged breaths, and stared at the scattered hay in confusion. She heard Xena let out a soft sigh, and move past her, putting a light hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. She looked up to see the warrior kneel beside their gear, and pull two tunics from it, keeping her balance with one hand against the wooden stall divider. But her shoulders were slumped, and Gabrielle could see the heave of her chest as she took a deep, steadying breath. "I’m.. I’m scared." She finally said, in a small voice.

Xena stood and turned, her expression under control, and walked back over, handing her a tunic with a little nod. "It’s all right, Gabrielle. I kind of expected that." That kind of magic.. you don’t get two chances at, Xena. You blew it. "You .. you know I’ll a.. always be there for you, right?" She managed a half hearted smile. "That’ll never change." She glanced down. "Come on.. they’re waiting for you."

Gabrielle fumbled with her clothing, watching the tense back facing her as Xena slipped out of her damp leathers and into a dark blue linen tunic, trying not to feel the ache she could sense coming from the taller woman. Xena..I’m sorry.. her mind whispered silently. How could she explain a fear she hardly understood herself? Sighing, she followed the very quiet warrior across the courtyard, getting a lump in her throat when Xena carefully tucked her under the edge of her cloak against the rain and she could feel the upset fairly radiating from the warrior.

Just as they got to the door, she pulled Xena to a stop, and hugged her with all the strength in her arms. The dark head ducked close to hers. "You’ll do fine." The warrior assured her. "Don’t worry."

"Thanks." The bard took a very deep breath, and squared her shoulders as she reached for the door and pulled it open. Behind her, she heard Xena take her own steadying breath and as they crossed the threshold, Gabrielle was aware of eyes sweeping over them in bald curiosity.

She was used to that. Especially travelling with Xena, whose six feet of intimidating presence coupled with her striking good looks drew attention like a patch of clover drew bees. Tonight, she was glad most of the eyes stayed with the warrior, who gave her a friendly scratch on the back before she moved off towards a back table, returning the curious stares with one of her own. The workers waved at her, though, and called a welcome, which settled the buzz of the room and let the rest of the guests focus on the bard.

Gabrielle waited until Xena settled herself at the same table as Eponin and Solari, noting the uneasy looks the two Amazons gave her, and making herself a mental note to have chat with the two of them. Xena, of course, ignored them both, leaning back against the wall and propping a booted foot up against the table support as she crossed her arms to listen.

She was in full ex warlord mode tonight, the bard realized, hiding everything behind that stoic mask, giving away nothing, revealing nothing.

Except to her, who could see the rawness in her eyes and the tense anguish in the very lines of her body. It was an almost welcome distraction, as her mind was so occupied with her soulmate, she forgot to be nervous, and got through the two stories she’d ran over without much problem. She saw the quiet twinkle in Xena’s eyes as she finished, and returned it with a smile. Later, later Xena… if you give me a chance, I’ll try to explain it to you. Maybe you have the answer.

"Thanks." Gabrielle grinned, touching the outstretched arms of the appreciative crowd. "I'll do a few more later.. I need to take a break" She accepted the compliments as she made her way back to the table where her friends were sitting. It felt…really good. Almost like regaining a little bit of the life she'd lost again. She pulled a chair out from the table and seated herself. "Hi."

"Nice job." Xena drawled, glancing at her over the top of the mug she was working on. In front of her on the table was a large plate of food, pretty much untouched. Gabrielle took immediate possession of it, not without a warning look at her soulmate. "Something wrong with this?"

Xena gave her a one shouldered shrug. "Just wasn't hungry."

"Uh huh." The bard replied, capturing a bit of vegetable and chewing it. She glanced across the table, to where Eponin was playing with her own food, and Solari was just staring at the table. "I can see I'm going to have to be the one providing conversation here." She sighed. "So..how are things?"

Solari looked up from the tiny bit of splinter she had been worrying out of the table. "Not.. bad, really. Ephiny.. just got back from a visit to Granella."

Gabrielle shot a look at the warrior, who let out a long breath. "I'll send word home." Xena commented quietly, as she stood up and went in search of the innkeeper.

The bard went back to her food. "How's Granella doing?"

Eponin looked up at her. "How are you doing?"

She got a direct look back from Gabrielle. "For a while, I was really doing lousy." The bard shook her head a little. "It's been very hard.. for both of us. I won't lie about that."

The older Amazon leaned forward intently. "Gabrielle, this… listen, I know you're very attached to Xena, all right? But… she's not very stable right now.. you're in a lot of danger, you know that, right?"

Gabrielle gave her a look. "I know more about what kind of danger I'm in that you ever will, Pony. I'm fine.. I'm not in any trouble."

"Has she…" Eponin persisted. "Hurt you? Again?"

The bard put down her fork, and paused to let her anger subside. "Eponin.. "

"I know..I know.. " The Amazon held up a hand. "It's none of my business, right? Damn it, Gabrielle, we all care about you.. we don't want to see you get hurt."

Gabrielle lifted her eyes. "Am I the only one who cares about Xena?" The pain in her voice stopped them cold. "Who has saved my life so many damn times I stopped counting? Who saved Ephiny's life? Who defended the Amazons against their enemies, and themselves? "

"Gabrielle…" Solari interrupted.

"Who is so full of self hatred for what she did to me that I just, two days ago, got her to stop shaking like a leaf when she touches me?" The bard went on softly. "Who is the other half of my soul.. and who you're treating like a mindless animal?" She sighed. "I'm the only one? That's a really lonely place to be in."

Eponin looked upset. "Listen, Gabrielle… I didn't mean…"

"No." The bard replied tiredly. "She hasn't hurt me." She propped her head up on one hand and stabbed viciously at a piece of meat. "Anything else you'd like to know?" Then she stopped, and took a breath, and played with her fork. "I'm sorry. I promised Xena I wouldn't do that."

Solari and Eponin exchanged glances. "Do what?" Solari asked, cautiously.

Gabrielle gazed over at them. "Get mad at you for being concerned about me."

"She made you promise that?" Eponin asked softly. "She knows why… "

Green eyes pinned her. "Yes. She does.. and she says she doesn’t blame you." The bard's nostrils flared. "I, on the other hand, have a big problem with it." She watched their startled expressions. "You know, that big dumb warrior routine is just an act. She's really smart."

Eponin sat back, and assumed a wry expression. "Gabrielle, I apologize. We should have just come to you first, and talked."

"Mmph." The bard swallowed. "That's a start." She looked up as she felt Xena's presence drawing near, and exchanged a small grin with her. "All set?"

The warrior pulled back her chair and dropped into it. "Message sent." She braced her elbows on the table and picked up her mug, staring into it quietly.

Gabrielle finished what was on her plate, then took a sip of Xena's cold cider. "Xena?" She called softly, catching the warrior's eye. "I um… I think that sun got to me today… we've got a bunk in here..you want to…."

A half grin came back at her. "Sure." The warrior replied. "It's been a long day." She stood, and nodded quietly at the two Amazons, then motioned Gabrielle to move on ahead of her. "See you two tomorrow?"

Eponin nodded. "Yeah… um.. hey, Xena?" Blue eyes lanced into hers. "I'm sorry."

Xena gave a light shrug, and rapped her knuckles on the table surface. "It's all right. I'll live." She ran her glance over both of them, then followed Gabrielle out of the main room, and down a small hallway to where the few tiny guest rooms at the inn were.

Solari sat back and watched them leave, taking a sip of her own ale and sighing. "What do you think?"

Eponin stabbed her fork into the table and shook her head. "I don't know what to think, damn it." She let out a soft groan. "I can't… what choice do we have but to believe what Gabrielle says? She's obviously in her right mind.. she looks pretty good, considering all that's happened…no bumps, no bruises.. mentally she seems pretty sharp."

Solari nodded. "Yeah…I don't get the feeling she's nervous, or scared… there's definteily some strain going on there between them, but… y'know… damn that Xena, she's got that dour mask of hers.. except that twice I caught her giving Gabrielle that little puppy dog look.. you know the one I mean."

The older Amazon's mouth twitched. "Yeah, I know the one." She admitted. "And did you see her jump to Xena's defense? I tell you.. I'm not half as worried about what the old war horse'll do to me as I am what Gabrielle will do to me if we try anything like we did earlier." She sighed. "I think they're all right." She scowled. "Not that I'm not plenty mad still about Eph's arm."

Solari nursed her ale. "Damn.. I could think of a lot of people I'd rather have had this happen to." She sighed. "Pony.. I.. I'm glad they're ok.. sort of."

"Are you? " Eponin asked quietly.

"Yeah." Solari replied. "I never thought… I mean, there's Xena, right? All fighter, no gentle side, tough, mean… and then I think of her that night, after she came back from being dead.. I saw her just sitting there, holding on to that kid and letting her sleep peaceful for the first time since we met up with her." She slowly shook her head. "I couldn’t believe it, Pony…it was like a totally different person."

One silver and sable eyebrow lifted. "Well.. being dead can change ya, or so I hear."

Solari rolled her eyes. "That wasn't it." She stabbed at the wood with her dagger. "My mother was an oracle. She used to show me…she'd say, this person, and that person.. they're two halves of a walnut."

Eponin blinked at her. "And your point is???"

The younger Amazon stared pensively at the table. "Those two.. for better or worse, they're part of each other, Pony. It's just like she used to say.. I'm glad we didn't have to..separate them. I… I don’t' think that would have been very good for.. for Gabrielle."

Eponin snorted. "You're getting all weird on me, Solari. Cut it out."

Solari poked the table. "Too much ale, I guess."

"Come on.. let's get some sleep.. we've got to get started back home tomorrow." Eponin sighed, and stretched, wincing at the pops in her joints "At least we've got good news to bring back."

"Cozy." Gabrielle cast a glance back at the warrior, who nodded slightly. She suppressed a grin, and crossed the room, throwing open the window without being asked. The cool night breeze wafted in, carrying a hint of jasmine and roses that brought a quiet smile to the bard's tired face. "Nice."

Xena sniffed, and nodded. "White roses."

The bard turned and put her hands on her hips. "Xena, you're not going to stand there and tell me you can tell the difference between red and white roses by the smell."

A very light shrug. "Ok."

Gabrielle's brow creased. "Can you?"

Xena stopped by the low table next to the bed, and picked up something resting on it. "Well.. actually, yeah." She admitted. "The red ones have a spicier smell." She turned and held something out. "But um.. that's not how I knew."

The bard took the rose from her, and brought it to her nose, sniffing lightly. Then she studied it, admiring the pale creamy petals, tinged at the edges with just a hint of pink. "It's beautiful." She whispered, her eyes lifting to the candlelit pale blue ones opposite her.

The warrior smiled, and sat down in the chair next to the window, resting her elbows on her knees, and clasping her hands together. "Yeah.. it's all right."

Gabrielle wandered over, and gently stroked Xena's dark hair. "Y'know.. you're secret is safe with me."

Xena closed her eyes, and let her head rest against Gabrielle's hip. "Secret?"

"Mm." The bard agreed softly, continuing her gentle stroking, enjoying the feeling of the soft strands trickling over her fingers. "I won't tell anyone about your romantic side."

Blue eye popped open, and Xena straightened up, giving her a look. "Because I don't have one, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle twirled the rose in front of her lips, and took a deep breath of it's delicate fragrance. "No, huh?"

Xena rested her chin on her fists, and gazed at the wooden floor. "No."

The bard went to the window and gazed out. 'Xena?" A flicker of motion, and a warm presence at her back. "Look."

The yard in back of the inn, where their window faced, was full of fireflies, clouds of them like bands of stars come down from the night sky. "I've always had a soft spot for those." She perched on the edge of the windowsill, and sniffed her rose, staring out into the rain misted darkness at the dancing lights.

A long pause from behind her, then Xena shifted a little. "Want me to go catch you one?"

Gabrielle smiled, and knew if she closed her eyes, she could almost feel the memory of the firefly’s tiny feet tickling her fingers. It seemed like a long time ago, until she looked up and remembered all over again what it felt like to be tumbling giddily into a love so deep, and so overwhelming it seemed impossible to ever get out of.

Where had that gone? How had they both known that, and let themselves drift so far apart? The scent from the rose lifted up to her and she glanced at it, then up at the silent warrior who was staring out into the darkness, lost in her own memories. She let her eyes absorb the strong profile, and pushed her fear down, and listened very closely to her heart.

And a tiny smile touched her lips, as she felt that firefly’s touch against her skin in her thoughts, as her fingers twined with Xena’s, and the insect crossed from her hand to the warrior’s, carrying the possession of her soul with it.

It never had come back.

Maybe that knowledge could give her back what Dahok had taken from her. Had made ugly. She looked back up. "Xena?"

It took a moment for the warrior to shake off whatever her thoughts were and turn. "Mmm?"

The bard lifted the rose a little. "Thank you for the rose." She took a deep breath. "That made me feel really good."

That got a tiny, surprised smile from the warrior. "I.. I just thought you’d… like it."

Gabrielle twirled the flower and focused her vision on it. "It…I haven’t.. felt really good about myself since.. Britannia." There, starting was the hardest part, and this.. what had happened to her was so ugly she preferred to not think about it. But she had to..now.

Xena gently touched her chin, and lifted her face up. "You don’t owe me any explanations, Gabrielle."

"I know." The bard took a steadying breath. "But maybe if I talk about this.. you can give me one."

The warrior eased down on the windowsill next to her and waited in silence.

"They… it… took something away from me in there, Xena." Gabrielle twisted her hands together, and swallowed. "It.. it made something that was always a beautiful thing for me very ugly.. and.. every time I think about that, I remember him. It." Now she finally looked up with a tired, unhappy expression. "I’m scared to death, Xena… I’m scared it will always be like that.. and …I won’t be able to… I don’t want to feel that."

"Oh… Gabrielle." The warrior breathed, in an agonized whisper. "I never.. I didn’t realize."

The bard put her flower down, and went willingly into the open arms across from her, snuggling down into Xena’s embrace with a tiny cry. "I hate feeling like this."

"Shhh… I got you." The warrior rocked her gently. "It’s all right… you’re gonna be all right, Gabrielle." Slowly she stood, and carried the bard over to the bed, sitting down and leaning back against the wall. "It’s all right." No wonder..damn… how could I be that stupid. She was raped, and you didn’t even have the sense to… gods.. what an idiot I am. "I’m sorry."

"So.. so much has happened, Xena… " The bard sobbed softly. "It was so ugly.."

"I.. I know." The warrior whispered. "I know… Gabrielle, I’m so sorry.. I should have realized.. I should have… "

"I.. I felt so… horrible about myself for such a long time." Gabrielle sighed and dropped her head. "I didn’t think…especially after… it was just so.. it just hurt so much." She plucked the warrior’s shirt ties idly. "I wanted… to talk to you about it, but things got.."

"Yeah." Xena replied. No wonder she’s not.. she doesn’t feel the same about me. The warrior clasped her hands gently. "Gabrielle.. it’s all right… it’s…look, the fact that you’re alive, and safe, and.. we’re here, and we’re friends… that’s.. that’s more than I had any reason to hope for." She swallowed hard. "The rest.. well… " Another half smile. "I understand."

The bard gazed up at her in quiet comprehension. "No.. you don’t." She felt Xena’s heart skip under her ear and sighed.

"I… I don’t?" The warrior stammered, losing her composure. "I thought… "

"Oh no.. Warrior Princess… " Gabrielle sighed softly. "You don’t get rid of me that easily. I am very much still in love with you." She looked down at the floor, and idly moved her booted foot. "But…what we had… was very special." She looked up, at blue eyes that were giving her a stunned blink. "I’m.. I don’t know if that will still be there.. and.. I’m afraid to find out." She closed her eyes. "Because.. if.. it’s not.. and.. all I can feel is that ugliness… Xena.. I can’t live with that."

"Oh." Xena said, very faintly. She sat thinking in silence for a while, one hand idly rubbing the bard’s back. Finally, she nodded to herself a little and took a breath. "Gabrielle?"

The bard had been half dozing, drifting in a quiet twilight comprised of both physical and mental exhaustion. "Mmm?"

"Do you trust me?"

The bard felt a tremor run through her, and she thought carefully about the question before answering. "Yes." She did, she realized.

"Look at me." Xena replied quietly.

So she did, letting her eyes rest on the warrior’s candle lit face, then lift up to meet the shadowed blue eyes gazing back at her. No barriers faced her, only an open, honest look that was equal mixtures of regret and love. "Gabrielle… what happened to you was horrible… I know that." The warrior spoke softly. "But you’ll overcome that, because the beauty and the kindness I see in you won’t allow for anything else."

Gabrielle smiled at her. "Thanks.. I needed to hear that."

Xena raised a hand, and pushed a lock of her hair back behind one ear, then let her fingertips trail down the bard’s cheek. "And..when I look at you.. all I see is courage, and honor, and the most beautiful person I know.. the person I love with all my heart."

That got her. She buried her face against Xena’s chest, and cried quietly, in simple relief.

"So.. you take whatever time you need, Gabrielle.. for however long you want. I"ll be here waiting for you." Xena finished softly, hugging her. "You’ll always be a part of me. Nothing is ever going to change that."

The bard cried for a long time, finally drifting off into an uneasy sleep clutching Xena around the ribcage tightly. The warrior carefully pulled the soft covers up over both of them ,and settled down for some serious thought.

Gabrielle was chiefly aware of being stiff, and that brought her halfway out of a deep sleep, into the pre dawn grayness that half lit the room through the still open window. She blinked a little, clearing her vision, and loosened her stranglehold on Xena’s body with a wince. The warrior was sprawled in what looked like a really uncomfortable position, but as usual had managed to fall asleep anyway, and was still sleeping, her head resting against the bedpost and her arms wrapped around the bard’s body protectively.

That felt really good, the bard admitted to herself. And it felt better now that she’d gotten some of that off her chest… she hadn’t realized how much she needed Xena’s reassurance until she’d gotten it, and it settled something inside her that helped ease the pain of the memories.

Her body, however, was not sharing her mind’s misgivings. It settled against the warmth of her soulmate’s with comfortable familiarity, and she had to keep consciously willing her hands not to wander out of long habit. She hadn’t had to worry about that before.. their emotional distance had also equated to physical estrangement, but now..

She sighed softly, and put her head back down on Xena’s chest, reveling in the comforting sound of the strong heartbeat that.. She smiled softly That was beating in time with her own. Two hearts. Her gazed unfocused for a moment, as a snatch of something whispered through her mind. One destiny. It was tickling, tantalizing.. just out of her reach.. an image, no.. One long moment of utter stillness, then she took a deep breath, and let the laughter that had bubbled up inside her out softly. "Yesss…."

The body under hers stirred, and Xena opened her eyes in sleepy alarm. "Hey?" She blinked. "What’s wrong?" The blue eyes flicked over the room in confusion. "What’s funny?"

The bard took a breath and recited.

Two hearts.

Two different lives.

Though separate by nature,

Bound by fate

to one destiny.

Xena cocked her head thoughtfully. "Well.. it’s appropriate… where’d you dig that one up from?"

Gabrielle gazed off into the first rays of dawn, and smiled. "I didn’t dig it up anywhere. I just made it up." Her face lit up with a quiet joyfulness. "I did it…it was in there…" She turned bright eyes on Xena. "You were right." She hugged the warrior tightly and bounced a little on top of her. "Thank you."

Xena grinned for the first time in what felt like forever, a real, heartfelt grin that stretched muscles in her face that hadn’t been used in a while. "Nice way to wake up." She chuckled as the bard bounced again. "Oof.. Gabrielle!"

The bard quieted down, and gave her a tiny pat. "Sorry." She glanced over at the window. "Is our.. " Her eyes roamed the room. "Oh.. yeah.. I see it." She scrambled off the bed, and trotted over to their saddlebags, rummaging around in one and coming up with two slightly dusty apples. She tossed one to Xena, who caught it with a lazy swipe of her hand. "Breakfast." She bit into the fruit and chewed it as she reseated herself on the bed, settling cross legged next to Xena and watching the warrior nibble her apple. "You sleep OK?"

Xena made an effort to look wide awake, considering she’d fallen into a light doze not long before the bard had stirred. "Yep."

She’d spent the dark hours thinking about a lot of things. About Britannia, about Chin.. about all the things she’d done in the last few months, trying to understand what had driven her to do them. About how Gabrielle had suffered because of it. She’d thought a lot about Solon. About how short a time he’d had, and how she wished she’d known him better. She cherished all the more the little time they’d had, and had cried a little, remembering his excitement at the possibility of coming to live with them. She’d thought about how she’d miss seeing him grow up, and how Gabrielle had taken him into her heart, which made the tragedy doubly worse for the bard.

And she realized what it must have been like for Gabrielle, who had taken Hope into her heart in much the same manner, to face the thought that her soulmate wanted to kill this child. This child of hers, who, despite it’s origins, despite whatever Xena felt from it, was nevertheless part of Gabrielle. And she’d never even tried to sympathize, never had tried to explain to Gabrielle what she knew. .how she knew it.. she’d just… forced her to make a choice.

And it had been the only choice Gabrielle could have made, given the circumstances. She had forced that. It had all been her fault. Every single bit of it.

So forgiving Gabrielle had never been an issue. Forgiving herself was, and there were parts of what happened she knew, with a bleak self knowledge, that she’d never forgive. Never.

"Funny.. why do I think that’s not quite true?" The bard commented quietly,

"Huh?" Xena started as fingertips brushed her knee. "Sorry.. I was um…"

"The term is napping, Xena." Gabrielle quirked a grin at her. "Come on.." She took the half eaten apple from the warrior’s hand, and set it on the table, then tugged the blankets up around her.

"No… it’s… I"m fine, Gabrielle." Xena protested.

"Uh huh." The bard set down her own breakfast, and slid onto her side, facing the recalcitrant warrior. "Let’s see if this still works. " Before Xena could say anything, she slid a hand under the blanket, and beneath the taller woman’s shirt, tracing a slow pattern on the bare skin of her stomach. "Remember that?" She said softly. "I discovered that the first night we were together."

Xena’s eyes misted, and she blinked "I remember." She replied in a small voice, as she felt her body respond to the familiar signal, and a slow wave of lethargy rolled over her. "I.. I did a lot of thinking last night."

Gabrielle studied her face intently. "Beating up on yourself, huh?"

Xena dropped her gaze. "Yeah.. something like that." She admitted.

Gabrielle leaned closer, still keeping up her gentle patterns. "Xena? I think we need to stop doing that, OK? Life beats up on us enough, without us doing it to ourselves."

If it were only that easy. Xena reflected, as she let herself get lost in the bard's gentle gaze, and the hypnotic rhythm of her touch. She didn't want to breathe, for fear the bard would stop, or pull back.. it had been what seemed to her like forever since she'd felt that friendly tracing, and seen that slightly indulgent expression on the bard's face. She hadn't realized just how much she'd come to depend on the simplest of exchanges between them, until they were no longer there.

That coldness had half killed her, ironic considering how long it had taken her to get over the bard's tendency to touch. Now she felt starved for it, and was just glad to be lying here soaking in the warmth she could sense from Gabrielle, absorbing it like a sponge would water. If she took a breath, she knew she'd smell the bard's gentle scent, she was so close. She took a breath, and it brought a quiet smile to her face.

"Hey.. it still works, huh?" Gabrielle's voice drifted close, and brought a hint of apple with it. The bard curled up inside the circle of her arm, and settled down. "I really missed this." She hesitated. "I missed.. just being with you…being close."

"Me too." Xena admitted. "It hurt."

"Yeah." Gabrielle's soft voice warmed the skin on her shoulder. "Xena?"

"Mm?"

"I'm tired of hurting." The very quiet response. "I want to go home."

Xena opened her eyes and studied the pale head tucked against her shoulder, and tightened her arm, pulling the bard closer. "I know… " She gently kissed the top of Gabrielle's head. "We'll find our way there." She drifted off listening to the very early morning sounds of herdsmen readying their animals for pasture and enjoying the drifting scent of newly baked bread.

"Long night? "

Xena glanced up from where she was retrieving a bucket of daub for the barn and gave Eponin a nod. "Thought you two would be out of here already." The warrior had eschewed her armor for the day, and was working in just her leathers, with her dark hair tied back in knot. She ignored the question, not seeing any reason to give Eponin an excuse for why they'd managed to sleep in well past dawn.

"Solari and I had a bet going. I won. She's still figuring out which way's up." Eponin commented, as she watched Xena launch herself up onto a roughly made platform, and continue putting the insulating stuff in place with negligent skill. "Hey.. you're pretty good at that." She spared an appreciative glance for the muscles rippling across the warrior's tanned shoulders as she worked.

"So.. you drunk her under the table." Xena guessed, pressing a thick clump of daub into place and smoothing it with a flat piece of wood. "Nice." She paused and glanced over her shoulder at the watching Amazon. "You do that a lot. Be careful."

Eponin blinked. "Are you giving me advice?"

Pale blue eyes flicked over her. "Just a suggestion." She paused. "Look.. if you're gonna just stand there, why not get up here and help?" She put down the bucket, and leaned over, offering a hand up.

The Amazon hesitated, then reached up and grabbed the offered hand, and was hauled bodily up as Xena shifted her weight and stepped backwards. "Damn." She snorted, as the warrior let loose of her hand. They looked at each other for a long minute. "Are we ok?" Eponin asked quietly.

A light shrug from Xena. "Yeah." A tiny quirk pulled at one corner of her lips. "So.. you get me, Solari gets Gabrielle, huh?"

Eponin got caught flat footed, and just blinked. Damn.

Xena shook her head, and gave her a pat on the shoulder. "C'mon, get it over with." She turned back and dipped a handful of daub from the bucket, and smoothed it into place. "Look..I'm not really in the mood for twenty questions, all right?"

The Amazon took a handful of the gray stuff, and pounded it into a crack between the wooden planks. "Yeah.. um…look, Xena.. I'm .. I'm sorry how things worked out, you know?"

Xena sighed. "Yeah. I know." She glanced over. "So am I."

Eponin smoothed a finger over the daub. "I'm really sorry about your son." She added very quietly. "He was a good kid."

The warrior stared at the surface she was working on for a long moment, then turned, and leaned against the surface with a tired shoulder. "Thanks." Her eyes studied Eponin's face. "I'm sorry about what happened with Ephiny, Eponin. " She looked down. "I had considered her a friend." She finished quietly, looking back up at the smaller woman with sincere regret.

Eponin glanced down, playing with the daub in her fingers. "As your.. " Her lips twitched. "partner rightly reminded me last night, she wouldn't be alive to get that broken arm if it hadn't been for you. I guess I lost sight of that." She pushed a piece of daub into place. "Just like I lost sight of how Xenon got his name." She gave the warrior a shrug. "She'll be all right."

Xena nodded a little, and turned back to her task.

"Xena?" Eponin added softly.

Blue eyes swept over her again. "Yeah?"

The Amazon took a breath. "She cried the whole night before we left." Her eyes met Xena's squarely. "She's still a friend of yours." She looked off into the distance. "We just… Gabrielle is our queen, Xena. We had to protect her." She paused. "And we all love her, you know that."

Xena’s shoulders slumped, and she rested her head against the wooden wall. "I.. I know that, Eponin." She finally sighed. "I’d give anything to make it so didn't feel the need to protect her.. from me.."

The Amazon stepped closer and shuffled her feet nervously. "Look.. um.. I know things are.. um.. kinda rough right now, but I think it’ll all work out ok."

Xena felt a smile tugging gently at her lips. Eponin, trying her best to be comforting. It touched her. "Think so?" She turned her head, and studied the uncomfortable Amazon.

Eponin ducked her head and crossed her arms, then nodded, and looked anywhere but at Xena. "Yeah..I um…yeah, I think so." She kicked the platform studiously. "You guys still have that little eye thing going."

Xena’s brow creased. "What?"

Eponin cleared her throat. "Um… it’s this… you… uh.. nevermind."

The warrior put down her bucket, and turned to face Eponin, putting her hands on her hips and raising an eyebrow. "Eye thing?"

"Um.. I gotta go." Eponin stepped back. "You.. um.. take care of yourself, all right?"

"Eponin." Xena’s voice dropped into it’s lowest register, a rumble that tickled the Amazon’s eardrums ominously.

The Amazon sighed, and lifted a hand. "It’s.. hey, don’t worry about it, ok? It’s just that you two look at each other, and it’s pretty obvious, even to an old war dog like me, that um…."

"That there’s hope for us?" Xena completed the thought quietly.

Eponin took a startled breath. "Yeah."

But Xena just nodded again, and turned back to the wall, scooping out a handful of daub and pressing it into place between two boards.

"Drink this." Gabrielle emerged from the small room she and Xena were sharing, carrying a small wooden cup. "It tastes disgusting, and smells worse, but I swear it works."

Solari gave her an evil look, and downed the cup’s contents without so much as sniffing them. "It couldn’t make me feel worse." She set the mug down, and carefully cradled her head in her hands. "How did I let her talk me into that?"

The bard wiped the sweat off her brow, and sat down next to the ailing Amazon with a sigh. "You guys do that a lot." She commented. "You should be careful." She shifted her shoulders and winced, as skin tightened by her sunburn protested. She was wearing a loose fitting shirt over her usual skirt today, and had submitted willingly to the soothing aloe mixture Xena had gently rubbed on her sensitive skin before they’d left the room.

"Is that an order, your Majesty?" Solari mumbled, rubbing her temples.

"Just a suggestion." The bard replied with a small grin. "Thought you guys wanted to get moving today."

Solari groaned. "We are.. we are… what are you doing?"

Gabrielle flexed her hands. "Getting everything settled back in the storeroom, and helping out gathering all the animals those raiders let loose." She laughed gently. "And the kids are pestering me for a story or two so…"

The Amazon studied her carefully. "You’re in a better mood today."

A long breath. "Well.. I am, yeah… it was.. we talked a lot last night. Working some stuff out."

Solari’s eyebrow rose at an odd angle. "She talks to you?"

The bard smiled gently. "I do most of the talking, but yeah.. she does… it’s been really hard for both of us." She paused, and traced a line on the table they were sitting at. "Hard for me, because of all the stuff that happened. Hard for her, because she can’t stop.. hating.. herself for it." She sighed. "It hurts a lot."

Solari let out a soft sound. "Ephiny wanted us to bring you back." She put a hand on the bard’s wrist. "She’s really worried about you." Her lips twitched in a pained smile. "That offer’s still open.. she wanted me to make sure you knew that."

Green eyes studied her intently. "I can’t leave her, Solari." The bard answered honestly. "And.. I .. I really don’t want to. Things.. they’re getting better, faster than I thought, really." She let a smile creep onto her face. "What we have… it’s really, really strong."

Solari shook her head a little. "I can believe that, Gabrielle… and believe me, I’m glad to be taking back good news to Ephiny.. she’s pretty.. well, this whole thing upset her a lot." She looked down at the table. "She um… there was talk about banning Xena from the territory."

Gabrielle took a breath, and let it out slowly. "Guess I won’t be seeing much of you all, then." A choice made, as easily, and as simply as saying it.

Solari gave her a brief smile. "Ephiny squashed that. She.. just.. um… stood up in council and yelled a whole lot.. she kinda lost it, and um..scared the heck out of everyone so…" She gave the bard’s wrist a squeeze. "She said.. it was.. um.. her damn arm, and if everything was ok with you guys, then she’d just wait till it was healed and slug Xena with it next time she saw her."

Gabrielle winced. "I made her promise not to let you guys do that again." Her eyes darkened. "She’s already beating herself up over this, I’m not going to have everyone else start in.. you make sure you tell Ephiny that, ok?"

Solari sighed. "Still protecting her, Gabrielle?"

A direct look back. "Yes." The bard at her most uncompromising.

The Amazon looked at her for a long moment, then finally nodded. "All right.. I’ll tell her. " Then she slapped herself in the head. "Great Artemis.. I forgot."

Gabrielle jumped. "What?"

"You’re an aunt." Solari gave her a grin. "Your sister had a baby boy."

The bard blinked, then smiled. "Really?" Her gaze went inward. "Is it… oh.. she was early.." Her eyes went back to the Amazon. "Did you see them?"

Solari nodded. "Went through Potadeia… your folks.. send regards.. we didn’t.. um… tell them anything." She took in Gabrielle’s serious look with a half smile. "He’s a cute one."

Gabrielle took breath to comment, then stopped, her head cocking lightly. "Horses." She looked at Solari. "Sounds like a lot of them."

They overturned the bench scrambling to get outside.

The raiders came back in force, on horseback, and thundered through the village, spreading out and racing down the central road, knocking over people and sheep and everything else in their path. Three split off and headed for the stockyards, yelling so loud the screams of frightened children were overwhelmed, and using their thick wooden clubs to knock running villagers out of the way.

The main group headed for the storage area, and galloped towards it full speed, weapons held up, yelling.

A yell met their own, higher, wilder, and then the leader of the group had barely time to get his arm up before he was being knocked off his mount by a flying, leather clad body. They stopped, pulling up their horses in a wild confusion of dancing hooves and dust, and watched in disbelief as the tall, blond haired man was dumped on his head, then spitted with his own sword.

Then they charged.

Xena had heard the horses, and vaulted over the platform railing, hitting the dirt running with Eponin close behind. She took one look at the onrushing horses, and gauged distance.. and realized she wasn’t going to make it to her weapons. Damn. She cursed inwardly, and changed course, heading straight for the lead horseman.

A wagon was in the way, but provided a good jumping point, so she raced up it, and hurdled off the end, slamming into the raider at chest level, and taking them both to the ground with a bone rattling crunch.

Ouch. The warrior sighed, and lifted the raider up, avoiding his wild swing and grabbing his sword arm, then twisting it around and slamming it down, driving the sword through his gut and out the back of his armor. Hot blood scattered, drenching her, and she took a breath in the silence as the rest of the raiding party trampled the ground for a shocked instant, aware of Eponin charging up behind her.

A raider yelled, and then they were charging at her, weapons swinging, and she was surrounded by a sea of sweating horses, whose rolling, wild eyes plunged past her head as she ducked under the first swinging club, and retrieved the sword from the dead raider’s chest.

Blows glanced off her shoulders, as she dodged two rearing beasts, and stabbed up, hearing a scream as the sword found it’s target, then pulling it free, and using a fist to deflect a reaching hand, feeling her knuckles scrape past armor and hit solid flesh that grunted and slid from the saddle.

A dozen surrounded her, and she fought for clear space, sensing Eponin’s grim presence to her right, as the Amazon battled her way towards the center of the melee, but not close enough, as several of them leaped bodily on top of Xena, driving her to the ground with their weight.

Xena grimly bore the slamming of fists and wood into her body, and got her hands under her, then both feet, and shoved away from the ground, sending a few attackers flying, but not losing all of them. She took one out with an elbow to the chin, then heard the distinctive crack of wood on flesh and grinned fiercely as she kicked up and out, and got space enough to spot a flash of familiar red gold hair.

In a whirling moment, they were back to back, and she felt a warmth go through her as Gabrielle’s shoulderblades pressed up against hers, and the bard lashed out at the raider who was trying to gut her, knocking him back. "Hi." The bard worked a combination move that left an opponent gasping on the floor.

"Hi yourself." Xena replied, catching a weapon by its blade, and twisting, then kicking it’s owner back through the crowd and into a water trough. Then her eyes lifted, and she cursed loudly, seeing a single shot of a mounted crossbowman aiming at the winded and kneeling form of Solari, who had just finished a vicious hand to hand fight with a raider twice her size.

A hand touched hers. "Here." And a rock was under her fingertips. She grabbed it, and paused, then whipped her arm forward, and nailed the archer on his helmet, knocking him forward and causing his weapon to fire right into his horse’s neck. The beast screamed, and reared, and dumped his rider, shaking the man loose of the trailing stirrups and galloping off.

Then it was just opponent after opponent, and she kept Gabrielle in her peripheral vision as always, but the bard seemed to be holding her own, wielding her staff with grim precision and watching her partner’s back with bold persistence. It felt… wonderful, and she found herself grinning despite the heat, and the mud, and the pesky raiders.

One last charge and she ducked, but the rider swung backwards, and caught her in the back of the neck, sending her tumbling. She tucked her body into tight roll, clearing the animal’s hooves, and looked up as the forward swing of his club slipped past a tiring Eponin’s defenses and smashed her across the temple. The Amazon stumbled, and raised her hand to protect her head, but the rider lifted his club with a triumphant yell, and brought it down hard.

So hard he threw himself off his horse when he missed his target, and slid halfway down the animal’s barrel, then something hit the side of his head, and it all went dark.

Eponin raised a hand to her head, and waited for her breathing to settle down, glad of the powerful arm that was holding her up several feet from where the raider had hit her. One minute, she was trying to fight off the brilliant flashes in her eyesight, knowing the second blow was headed her way, then next something big and warm had hit her and she’d been carried through the air and out of the way, landing with Xena’s hold firmly on her.

"Gods." She whispered weakly, as she felt the warrior’s hold shift slightly. " Who in Hades taught me to duck?"

"Easy." Xena’s voice rumbled in her ear. The gentle hands were touching her head.

"Pony… take it easy, ok? We’ve got you." That was Gabrielle’s voice, and she blinked, trying to clear her vision. The bard slowly coalesced from a vague shadow into her familiar features, concern shadowing her mist green eyes, and smudges of dirt and blood covering her face and body. "It’s over, all right? We’re going to get you back to the inn and take care of that." The bard’s eyes flicked over her right shoulder, and she seemed to hold some kind of silent conversation, because Eponin suddenly felt Xena grunt an assent, then the world went dizzily crazy, as she was picked up and everything went whirling around her head. Then it went dark.

"She’s out." Xena commented, as she stepped carefully over the silent bodies of the raiders. She gave the anxious Solari a look. "It’s a nasty bump.. that club had spikes on it. That’s where the blood is coming from.. broke the skin there." The unconscious Amazon’s face was covered in crimson. "Looks worse than it is."

Running footsteps made them look up, as the village reeve skidded to a halt in front of them. "Xena… thank you." He glanced at them. "Thank all of you." His eyes fastened on their fallen companion. "Our healer’s coming.. no one else got hurt.. they didn’t get anything this time." His eyes fairly glowed when he looked at the silently pacing warrior. "I’ve never seen anything like that… you all are wonderful."

Gabrielle put a hand on Xena’s arm, correctly anticipating an angry snarl from the warrior. "Thank you.. we’re glad we could help.. but you know, it’s not really a wonderful thing.. it’s very dangerous, and it hurts." She displayed a badly bruised forearm to the man. "It’s not a lot of fun most of the time."

"Oh.. well.. yeah, of course." The man winced at her bruise. "Um.. I didn’t mean to sound.. I"m sorry." He steered them into the inn, where several villagers were gathered, including the mason, who had cleared off a low padded bench near the fireplace.

"Here, lass.. put er down here." He glanced up as Xena knelt carefully at his side, and deposited the injured Amazon onto the couch. "Ye do your stories justice, ye do, Xena."

Xena gave him a look. "Tell that to the bard, here." She jerked her head in Gabrielle’s direction, then gave the bard a ghost of a wink, as she stood, and let the village healer bustle in with his packets of herbs and cleanser. She went over to a chair nearby, and dropped into it, wincing as her own bruises made their presence known, now that the battle fever was out of her. She tuned out the excited buzz of voices around her, as the villagers relived their experiences, not wanting to hear the wild spin they were already putting on her actions. She laid her head back, and watched the healer work, letting her eyes idly drift between Solari’s anxious face, and Gabrielle’s reassuring movements.

Her mind drifted back to the battle, to the moment when the bard had joined her, back to back, against the raiders. It had felt… right.. for the first time, in a long time. Just like waking up this morning the second time, with Gabrielle wrapped so tightly around her she couldn’t move felt right.. it was all starting to edge it's way back to how she remembered it, and the wistful desire for that was getting stronger and stronger, the closer they got. She closed her eyes and smiled a little, opening them at a touch on her wrist. She found Gabrielle crouched next to her, a very worried look on her face. "Hey." She drawled peacefully at the bard.

"Are you all right?" The bard asked in a low voice. "I thought you’d gone out on me here."

"Why?" The warrior asked, reasonably. "Yeah.. I’m fine… took a few hits, but nothing major."

"Xena, I called you twice, and walked all the way over here and you didn’t hear me." Gabrielle said softly. "You didn’t even react until I touched you."

A tiny grin shaped Xena’s mouth. "Sorry.. I was thinking."

"Uh huh." The bard studied her closely. "Thinking so hard you let someone sneak up on you?"

The warrior cocked her head to one side. "Thinking about the person doing the sneaking." Their eyes met. "Thanks for watching my back out there."

Gabrielle smoothed the fine hairs on her partner’s forearm, then looked up. "It felt good." She smiled a little. "I felt like we were a team." Her fingers traced a faint scar. "I like that."

That got her a quirky half grin from Xena. "Me too." She agreed. "I've really missed that."

The bard propped her chin up on one hand. "You're a mess." She looked over her shoulder. "Pony's gonna be fine.. took a few stitches, but she's already kinda mumbling." Eyes flicked over to her. "You saved her life, you know that, right?"

"Shh." Xena winced. "It wasn't anything like that, Gabrielle, I just… "

"Xena." Gabrielle's eyes glinted. "That guy was about to smash her head in like an egg, and you jumped over two other guys, kicked a third one out of the way, grabbed her, jumped out of the way, then kicked that guy into next week. Don't give me that I just nothing, ok? " Her voice dropped. "You did that… don't act like it's something to be ashamed of."

The warrior stared at her for a long moment, then closed her eyes, and lifted a hand to rub her temples. "Sorry." She let out a breath. "I don't know what my problem is."

Gabrielle rested her cheek against the warm arm she was clutching. "I do." She waited for Xena's eyes to open and focus on her, and they did. "You're so angry with yourself, you can't understand people seeing you as anything other than what you see yourself as." She saw the blue eyes widen and shy away from hers. "Xena… don't do it.. please? You're a hero to them. "

Long silence.

"You're my hero." Gabrielle added very softly.

The warrior locked eyes with her. "How can you say that?" Her voice was bitter.

The bard gazed up at her quietly, knowingly. "Because it's true."

Xena regarded her pensively. "I.. I don't know if I can believe I'm capable of that anymore, Gabrielle."

"You are.." Gabrielle insisted. "You have to be..." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I need you to be."

Xena sat in silence, thinking about that. For her, anything. Was the final decision. "Then I'll see what I can do, I guess." She replied, simply, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders slightly. Her eyes lifted, and glanced over the bard's shoulder. "Solari.. you all right?"

The dark haired Amazon wandered over, and sat down next to Xena with a thump. "More or less, yeah." She flicked a glance over them, then focused on Xena. "You?"

The warrior shrugged. "Fine." She watched as Gabrielle stood, and walked over to the innkeeper, who rubbed his hands and nodded at her. "Thanks for helping out."

Solari leaned back in the chair and let out a soft groan as she stretched her legs out. "I'll be feeling that tomorrow.. " She grimaced. "Thanks for the on target rock toss." She regarded the ceiling thoughtfully. "Felt bad for the horse, though."

"Not my fault. "Xena muttered. "Idiot had his crossbow on hair trigger." She stretched out her own long legs and crossed them at the ankles, as she idly watched Gabrielle collect a set of gently steaming mugs and head back their way.

Solari leaned over. "Y'know, Xena… not to get real personal with you or anything, but.. damn, she's cute."

Xena gave her a look, causing her to settle back hurriedly in her chair. Then she glanced around, and raised an eyebrow, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "I know."

Gabrielle reached them ,and handed Xena one of the three mugs, keeping one, and offering the third to Solari. "So.. what are you two chatting about?"

They both stuck their noses in their respective mugs. "The fight." Xena mumbled around a mouthful of soup. "Techniques."

"Perspectives." Solari added solemnly.

"Uh huh." The bard perched herself on the arm of Xena's chair, and let her arm rest gently on one tanned shoulder for balance. "Guess you guys aren't getting out of here today." She looked over at the now bandaged Eponin. "She's gonna be pissed when she wakes up."

Solari rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah.. is she ever. She hates being hurt." The Amazon leaned back. "You shoulda seen her after she fell outta that tree a few months back and sprained her back.."

"She fell out of a tree?" Xena and Gabrielle managed to ask simultaneously. They glanced at each other, then Xena chuckled and shook her head, poking her nose back in her mug of soup.

"Yeah.. " Solari reminisced. "She'd bet someone she could get this egg out of this bird's nest way up at the top of the big tree near the kitchen." Solari waved her mug. "Evrybody told her not to do it… those damn branches were real thin this year cause of the bad weather we had during the winter, but no.. it was a bet, and a challenge, and you know Eponin."

"Sounds like someone else I know." Gabrielle muttered, with a sideways glance at Xena. The warrior merely raised an eyebrow. "So what happened?"

Solari shrugged. "Well, she got the egg, not that it did her much good, cause she squashed it flat when she fell on it."

"Ouch." The bard winced. "That must have really hurt."

"Yeah.. it did." Solari agreed. "She was out flat for days.. spitting mad. Eph finally had to threaten to.." Her lips quirked. "Anyway, she threatened her, and got her to just shut up and lie down for a few days"

Xena chewed thoughtfully and swallowed. "Should have kept her there longer. It's still giving her problems." She went back to her soup, ignoring the looks between Gabrielle and Solari.

"She told you that?" Solari asked, quizzically.

"No." Xena replied. "Didn't have to. I can tell by the way she moves." She drained her mug, and glanced at it wistfully, then jerked a little as it was taken out of her hands, and replaced with Gabrielle's nearly full one. "Gabrielle… what.."

"Go on." The bard ordered. "I've had some already." She leaned back against the wood of the chair and watched the villagers gathered in small groups discussing the mornings excitement. A smile creased her features when small bits of ideas began to nudge her as to how she'd turn this into a story and she let herself indulge in that for a bit.

Xena decided not to argue the soup point, and started drinking the second mug down. It was good soup and she was, she admitted, really hungry for the first time… in a while. That brought back memories of the long months of her guts being tied up in knots so tight that even thinking of food had been.. She sighed. Gabrielle had thought she was just snubbing her cooking, and so.. she'd.. just stopped offering.

And she'd found herself not caring, just grabbing handfuls of whatever she found on the trail, finding excuses to spend more and more time in her drills, or out scouting, or.. a lot of nights were spent just curled up somewhere, hurting, and not knowing any way to stop it.

Knowing from the bard's silent, haunted eyes that she was going through her own Hades, and unable to reach across the barriers they'd put up between them.

A touch on her shoulder brought her out of the memories, and she glanced to one side, but Gabrielle's mind was elsewhere, oblivious to her idly moving fingers. A gentle, familiar touch, that stroked her skin with tickling pressure and followed the lines of bone and muscle with hypnotic rhythm. Xena smiled. She doesn't even realize she's doing it. And I don't mind her doing it. It meant they were getting more comfortable with each other, and that could only be a good thing.

The door opened, and two grim looking villagers came in, looking around and spotting the reeve with some relief. "Tomache, those raiders got to a merchant's train just south of here.. there're lots of folks hurt."

The reeve sighed. "Damn.. bastards." He looked around, and people started coming towards him. "Let's see what we can do for them.. since we were so fortunate as to have been spared." He cast a shyly devoted look towards Xena.

"Don't curse." Gabrielle whispered. "Be nice."

The warrior let out a breath. "C'mon.. let's give them a hand." She started to get up, but was held in place by Gabrielle's hand. "What?"

The bard's head ducked down. "You're hurting."

Well… "No.. I'm fine." It wasn't really anything. Much.

Gabrielle leaned closer. "*I* can tell by the way you move." She whispered right in the warrior's ear. "Stay here.. keep Pony company.. Solari and I will go out and see if we can lend a hand, ok?"

OK? Xena sighed softly. It was more than ok. It was Gabrielle caring about her, about how she felt..it felt so good she didn't give a damn that the bard had nailed her precisely. "All right." She relented, giving the bard a wry look. "Can't have Eponin waking up and not knowing what's going on, right?"

Gabrielle smiled at her, and lifted a hand, hesitatingly, to brush the hair back out of her eyes. It was as though the room of people disappeared, and all that was left was them, and a silence, in which she could clearly hear two heartbeats. Two breaths. She could see the tiny muscles in Gabrielle's face twitch as she inhaled, the flickering movement of the torchlight that lit her eyes from within showing the hidden golden sparkles in their depths. She could smell the faint hint of the aloe she'd used on her sunburned skin, and the tickle of sun dried linen from her shirt and the warm smell that was Gabrielle herself. She kept completely still as the bard's fingers explored her face in gentle wonder, tracing her cheekbones, and finally coming to rest on her chin. Their eyes met, as the room very slowly faded back in.

Gabrielle blinked. "Um." She let her hand drop falteringly back to her side. "I guess I'd better.. um.. " She glanced at Solari, who was watching them with a fascinated look. "Let's.. um.. go see if we can help."

"Sure." The Amazon nodded, as she stood and put her mug down. "Good idea." She started towards the door with a firm step, not looking back.

The bard slowly rose, giving the warrior a soft pat on the shoulder "Don't go anywhere, ok?"

"I won't." Xena promised quietly. "Be careful."

Gabrielle nodded, and followed Solari, her expression very thoughtful.

The inn emptied out quickly, most of the villagers going to see if they could help salvage anything from the merchant's train. Or get half price bargains; Xena mused wryly, human nature being what it was.

The warrior edged her chair a little closer to the fire, and settled back with her mug, wrapping her hands around it and letting out a deep sigh. She let her thoughts drift a little, taking slow sips of the soup and allowing her tense body to unwind as the sounds outside receded, and she could hear the subtle creaks of the building around her.

A groan brought her alert, and she rolled her head to one side, and studied the feebly moving Eponin. "Eponin… don't move around, all right?"

Another groan. "Hera's left tit." The Amazon mumbled. "What fell on me?"

Xena leaned over. "It was Hera's left tit. Squashed you flat."

Silence, then one caramel colored eye peeked out, and it's brow quirked. "I must be dead. You made a joke."

Gods, it felt good to smile. Felt good to have someone saying something.. normal.. not holding back, not choosing words carefully…"Write it down. It doesn't happen often." She replied dryly. "You got whacked on the head with a studded wooden club."

"That explains the headache." Eponin mused, raising a tentative hand up and touching the bandages. "Doesn't explain why 'I'm sick to my stomach, and there are two of you." She paused. "Just what we needed."

That surprised another grin out of Xena. "You remember getting pounded on in the fight?"

Eponin shook her head then winced. "Ah.. bad idea. No… I remember.. oh yeah, you chucking a rock at some guy and making him shoot his horse… then it gets kinda fuzzy." She started to sit up, then dropped back down with a hiss even before Xena could get an arm out to stop her. "Worse idea."

Xena let out a sigh. "Will you stay put?" A thought occurred to her. Am I like this? She winced. Umm.. I bet I am… She sent a mental apology to her soulmate. "You try that again and I'll… " The warrior scowled, then her expression cleared. "I'll tell Eph on you."

The restlessly moving Eponin stilled. "Uh… now, Xena… "

Heh. Xena smirked. "Just stay there, ok? You got worked over, and your brains are rattled. Relax, got me?"

Eponin did as ordered, blinking a little at the lounging warrior. "So.. where is everyone?"

"Helping.. those raiders hit a merchant caravan outside town." Xena explained, draining her mug and setting it down on the table next to her. "Gabrielle went with Solari to see what they could do."

A lift of both copper colored eyebrows. "And… left you… to.. watch me?" The Amazon cocked her head. "Um… not that you're not a good healer or nothing, Xena.. I mean, heard stories from Eph, but.. "

Xena let a half grin shape her lips. "Guess they wanted to make sure you wouldn't wake up half crazy and start beating up the pigs." She shrugged. "Figured I could handle that."

"Hmph." Eponin cleared her throat a little, and laid a hand across her stomach. "Not much challenge from me." She mumbled. "Damn.. I feel lousy."

Xena put a hand on her shoulder. "Hold on.. I've got some stuff in the room that might help. Be right back." She stood, wincing a little at her own stiffened bruises, and took a moment to stretch out the badly pulled shoulder that Gabrielle had spotted so efficiently.

"We're getting too old for this junk, Xena." Eponin commented wryly from her pallet as she watched.

"You know it." The warrior let out a sigh, then shook herself a little, and walked off towards the room she and the bard were sharing. It took a moment of rummaging for her to dig up the herbs she wanted, and as she pulled out the last packet, her fingers touched something.

She drew back her hand in confusion, then tentatively reached out again, and let her fingers close on a small object buried deep in her folded clothing and pull it out.

It rested in her hand, lit by the warm sunlight pouring in the window. A tiny piece of parchment, tied around something moderately heavy, a stone or…

No… it can't be. Xena's hands shook as she untied the bit of string holding it, and let the parchment fall open.

The sun caught the facets of the crystal, scattering slivers of dancing light around the room and across her body. She stared at it, as though a ghost had appeared in front of her, which in a way it had, in the form of her lifebond necklace, taken from her in Chin.

Had been ripped from her neck, actually, leaving a bloody ring from the chain and tossed negligently up by Ming Tien, who had laughed. And said she no longer needed it. And, at that moment, with Gabrielle's betrayal staring her in the face, she'd just said. "You're right."

Now, here it was, bearing inside it a past, and promises it hurt to even think about. The chain had been carefully cleaned of the dirt, and her blood, and the crystal shone warmly in her palm, almost clear enough to read the words on the parchment underneath through it.

She picked up the stone, and tucked it in one hand, then brought it up to her cheek as she turned her eyes to the writing.

I guess you never thought you'd see this again.

I wasn't sure I could ever give it back.

Or that you'd want it.

I guess this is the coward's way out.. I know I should just hand it to you, but I'm so scared you won't want it, that I just had to put it in here, knowing you'd find it sometime, and you could think about it, and decide what it meant to you.

If it means anything, anymore.

I won't keep you guessing, Mine does. I wear it on a little clasp, on the inside of my belt, so I can feel it, but it isn't out there driving you crazy.

Sometimes, when things got really bad, I'd just find a place, and take out both of them, and fit them together, just to remind myself that there once was a place that I belonged, where I fit just like these two things do, and I'd just keep telling myself not to give up.

So.. here it is. I don't know when you'll find this, I put it in the morning we stayed over in the village where Eponin and Solari caught up with us. Think about it for a long as you need to. If you decide not to keep it, I'll understand. I know so much has happened, so many things that make the thought of an unbreakable bond between two people sound like so much wishful thinking.

But I'm wishfully thinking it.

I love you.

G

Xena read it over several times, her thumb gently caressing the crystal. Then she brought it up to her lips, before loosening the clasp then fastening it again around her neck. The cool stone warmed with her body heat, and lay sparkling gently in the sun. Well, Gabrielle, I thought about it.I guess you'll take this as my answer.

She turned the parchment over a few times, thinking, then nodded a little, and glanced towards the tiny table in the room, where the bard's quill case was sitting, along with a few pieces of blank parchment, and her diary.

Another change, Xena realized. It had been a long time since the bard had left her diary out in plain sight, though even in the worst of times Xena would have never touched it. She walked over and picked up one of the quills, the one the bard had been using, and turned the small piece of parchment over.

She wrote one word, and an X, and blew on it gently, watching the ink dry from darkest blue black to an almost purple. Then she found the bard's place in her diary, marked by a strip of leather, and slipped the parchment inside, careful not to read any of the words scribed in that familiar hand.

Her brow creased, and she looked closer, then snorted softly as she realized the leather marking strip was a piece of her armor, discarded during some repair session or other. She touched it with an idle fingertip, then shook her head, and grabbed the herb pouch she'd come for, and ducked back out of the room.

Solari remained silent as they joined a trail of villagers heading down the road, pacing alongside the bard with her lithe, fluid stride. She kept darting little looks at Gabrielle, though, and finally the bard cleared her throat and glanced back.

"Something bothering you, Solari?" Gabrielle asked quietly.

"Me? No." Solari waved a hand. "Um.. listen, Gabrielle.. I was just thinking.. where.. are you guys headed now?"

The bard remained silent for a bit, then kicked a rock out of her path and stared ahead of her. "I'm not sure."

Solari nodded. "Well, if you're headed in our general direction, I'd really appreciate it if we could travel with you.. that head wound of Eponin's looks pretty bad, and I don't know if I can handle her all the way home."

Gabrielle considered the request. General direction was a wide open statement, but the general direction of the Amazon's territory was also the route home, and suddenly the bard knew that was exactly where she wanted to go. But would Xena? Home meant a lot of memories.. and she wasn't sure either of them could handle that right now. "If we head that way, sure." She answered slowly. "I'd love to take a few days off in Amphipolis.. I just don't know if .. " She shook her head a little. "I'll talk to Xena, see what she wants to do."

The Amazon sighed. "Thanks.. I appreciate it." She glanced down the road. "What a mess."

Gabrielle winced. The caravan had held an enormous range of wares, and most were scattered about the road, including a live cargo of chickens, who were fluttering all over the place, littering the ground with feathers and other bird debris. Most of the wagons had been overturned, and there were a few still, silent bodies crumpled around them, the ground around them darkened with blood.

It weighed on her, suddenly. She realized just how tired she was of death, and blood, and pain. It seemed like it was all she'd known for months, and she found herself wishing wistfully that they could just take a short time out, and get away from that for a little while.

Quit daydreaming, Gabrielle. She scolded herself. People need help there, so move it. "C'mon.. let's see what we can do." She led the way, and ducked under an overturned wagon yoke, then pulled up short as a stocky merchant almost ran her down.

They both froze, and looked at each other. "Johan." The bard stammered.

"Lass." The trader breathed. "Thank the gods." He opened his arms and pulled her into them. "Thank the gods ye're safe."

Gabrielle was suddenly surrounded by the scent the pervaded his clothing, a mixture of dust, and sweat, and a soap mixture that bore the familiar stamp of home. Cyrene's special mixture, which they carried in their bags. She gladly returned his hug. "Johan, what are you doing here?" She whispered.

He released her, and grasped her shoulders, studying her closely. "Lookin fer you, lass.. " His eyes drifted over her shoulder to the distance, and then back to her face, and a stark question was in them,

"She's fine." Gabrielle correctly interpreted the look. "She's back in the village.. they got hit by the same raiders you did this morning."

His shoulders relaxed and he ducked his head, letting out a breath. "Y've no idea how glad I am to hear it.. Cyrene's near out of her mind worrying about you both." He patted her cheek. "She sent me north, and Toris south, and I'm surprised we managed to talk her out of coming herself."

Gabrielle smiled widely, and half turned. "Gods.. sorry.. Solari, this is Johan.. he's from Amphipolis."

Solari stepped forward and offered a forearm. "Glad to see you're all right - what a mess it is here."

The trader returned the grasp and rolled his eyes. "Aye, that it is.. will ye both give me hand getting this wagon righted?"

Gabrielle threw herself into the work willingly, glad of something to keep her hands busy while she quietly enjoyed the feeling that Johan's presence woke in her. She felt herself being rewoven into that part of her life she'd feared she'd lost, and an adopted family as dear to her as her own.

It took several hours, but they finally got most of the mess cleaned up, and the wagons righted and reloaded, as much as they could. Several wagons were burned and broken beyond repair, so the merchants doubled up, squabbling and complaining until Solari put her hands on her hips and gave them an Amazon glare, after which they tugged their overloaded horses on in meek silence.

The village was bustling when they got back, clearing a space for the merchants, and gathering around to help them unload, as well as to dicker for bargains from the exhausted travelers. Gabrielle politely asked Solari to take Johan's horse's head, and tugged his arm. "C'mon.. I know someone who's going to be glad to see you."

Johan smiled, and allowed himself to be led to the inn door, grabbing the handle and opening, ushering her inside. "G'wan then, lass.. a cup of cold ale would hit the spot too."

Gabrielle smiled at him, aware in the periphery of her vision of Xena's approach. "Hey.. look who I found?" She turned fully and looked at the warrior. "He's…." Her voice stopped, and she stood, staring.

"Hello, Johan." Xena finished for her. "It is good to see you.. what brings you to these parts?" She held out a forearm, very aware of Gabrielle's shining eyes and slowly etching smile.

"Hello, Xena." The trader glanced at Gabrielle and chuckled softly. "I've a message from yer mother."

The warrior raised an eyebrow. "And that is?"

He looked right at her, and covered her hand with his own. "Come home."

Continued in Part 2

Standard Disclaimer - These characters, most of them, belong to Universal, and Renaissance Pictures, and whoever else has a stake in Xena: Warrior Princess. This is written just in fun, and no copyright infringement was intended.

Specific Story Disclaimers:

Violence – Violence - yes, there will be violence of a moderately graphic nature in this story.

Emotional distress - I have to put in a disclaimer here for this, because this story, unlike most of my other stories, is an extremely dark one. There is not a whole lot of humor here, and most everyone ends up not being happy through most of the story. IF you're looking for a warm and fuzzy tale, this ain't it. You might want to give this one a miss.

Subtext - As in all my stories, this one is based on the premise of two people who are very much in love with each other. They happen to both be women. There is no graphically depicted action here.. but if the thought of this gives you a problem, find a different story to read. There are lots of very good general fiction Xena stories that can be found on Xeno's page.

I'm not offering any goodies for the phobes this time round. But if you feel like I've beaten you over the head with angst in this one, then send me your snail mail address, and I'll forward over some Girl Scout Original Mint cookies, and some milk. That always makes me feel better.

 Any and all comments are always welcome. You can email them to:

 mailto:merwolf@bellsouth.net

Darkness Falls - Part 2

By Melissa Good

Gabrielle let the voices roll over her, not even really hearing what Johan said. Her eyes were busy drinking in the faint, glinting reflections of the warm light off the crystal nestled in the hollow of Xena’s throat.

It was too much, and she put a hand out and touched the warrior’s arm, then walked through the suddenly too loud, and too chaotic inn, escaping into the relative peace and quiet of their small room.

The door closed behind her, and she just stood, for a long silent moment, in the center of the room, breathing.

She’d spent so long preparing herself for the worst. Had patiently rehearsed the scene in her mind how many times? Had seen Xena’s regretful look, and heard hopefully thoughtful words on why what they had just wasn’t a possibility anymore.

It felt so very, very odd to have something go right for a change, after all the months of everything going wrong. Being wrong. But she had to try it.. especially after waking up the second time this morning, and encountering that split second of time halfway between waking and sleeping, when she’d just…

Forgotten.

And it has felt so good, just to feel all right, that she’d waited until Xena had gone out to start her wall tasks and gotten the crystal out from the small bag she’d kept it in, and written her note. She hadn’t expected the warrior to find it so soon…but…she had.

She wondered what Xena had thought about it. Slowly, she crossed the room, and sat down at the table, clasping her hands together and resting her elbows on her knees, feeling a weight come off her shoulders that she hadn’t even realized was resting there.

It felt great. She felt almost dizzy from the sudden release of tension that had been coiled up inside her for such a long time, and she let her head fall into her hands, and just sat there, with the waves of giddy relief washing through her. It was so weird to feel happiness again she almost didn't know what to do with herself.

With a sigh, she finally straightened up, and rubbed her eyes, then raked her hand through her disheveled hair, and picked up her quill, chewing on the end of it absently as she found her place in her diary and flipped the bound parchment open.

And slowly put the quill down, spreading her fingers out to flatten a small piece of parchment that had been tucked in the binding out, and look at it.

One word only. In a strong hand that slipped past her doubts and the horror of her memories and wrote itself across her heart in a clear, and unmistakable sense of belief.

It was a promise, and an offer, and it coaxed her soul out from the place where she’d hidden it for safekeeping, away from the pain, and the grief, battered by anger and disappointment.

Forever.

Such a simple word, with so very many complex meanings

She lifted the paper up in gentle fingers, and pressed it against her forehead, as though trying to imprint the word onto her skin, as soft whispers sounded from her lips. Gentle promises. Finally, she put the scrap back in her diary and closed it, then sat back, and fumbled a her belt, unclipping her own necklace from its resting place and holding it up to the sunlight streaming into the room.

It reflected a hint of green from her own eyes, and a flash of a smile, as she unclasped the catch and settled it around her neck, letting out a light breath as it fell into a familiar spot above her pulse point. Then she stood and went to the window, letting the sunlight hit her fully and reveling in its warmth. The breeze gently blew her hair back and felt sweet against her face, and she rested her hands on the window’s sills with a quiet sense of almost disbelieving joy.

She felt her, sensed her, rather than heard any noise, and turned her head to see Xena standing in the doorway, leaning against the jamb in all her dark glory. Just watching her.

Gabrielle turned to face her, feeling the sun warm on her back as just let her eyes drink in her partner's shadow splashed form, still in her leathers, but with hair damp from the washing that also took the blood stains from her body. She held up a hand towards her, and Xena pushed lightly away from the door, and walked over, stopping just short of the sunlight and smiling.

There were no words for this, the bard realized. All that needed to be said was being spoken by their eyes, and the expressions on their faces. She reached out with one hand, and closed her fingers on the warrior's leathers, and pulled, drawing Xena out of the shadows and into the pool of sunlight she was standing in.

It dappled across her body like water, and reflected off the droplets of water scattered about her shoulders, sending tiny sparkles of light dancing against the wall. Gabrielle looked up and found the pale blue eyes regarding her intently, and there was a tiny fleeting smile playing at the corners of Xena's mouth. She wanted to see more of that, so she let her own face relax into a happy grin, and was immediately rewarded by seeing its mirror.

She stepped forward, and wrapped her arms around the warrior's body, and felt Xena do the same, as she buried herself in the warmth of that embrace with a feeling of utter relief. She could smell the musky tang of her leathers, and the faint scent of copper from the water she'd bathed in, a drop of which was tickling the bard's nose where it was pressed against the warrior's chest.

Experimentally, she licked the droplet up, confirming the mineral tang with absent pleasure. Then she closed her eyes, and just let herself feel the moment, absorbing it with a silently giddy joy that was sending a gentle healing through parts of her that were so torn, and so ravaged they hardly seemed even to be there anymore.

But they were. She had no idea how long they stood like that, as she fell into a dreamy half daze from the solid, reassuring heartbeat under her ear, and the gentle, rhythmic pressure of Xena's hand against her hair, and the sunlight pouring over them. This, her body remembered, was love. It was the comfort she'd been seeking during the long, empty, angry months and that she'd been frightened she'd never feel again.

But here it was. Just like she remembered. At last.

"I love you." The bard said softly, with gentle conviction.

Xena's breath came brushing by her ear. "I love you, too." In her lowest voice, a rumble that Gabrielle could feel vibrating against her body.

And they both nodded a little, as though in confirmation.

Xena finally took in a breath. "I.. I'm glad you brought that back with you." She paused. "It means a lot to me."

The bard swallowed hard. "I… Xena, I couldn't let him have that. I just… even if you didn't want it anymore, I still…"

"I know." The warrior whispered. "I know.. I was… I was thinking about that after… when I went back down in… thinking about losing what that meant to me…I…" She sucked in a steadying breath. "I almost gave up, then." She finished in a low tone. "Then you did… a very brave thing, Gabrielle."

The bard nodded. "Faced you."

"Yeah." Xena sighed. "

"I couldn’t just…" Gabrielle fell silent for a bit, choosing her words. "I knew.. I’d made.. a pretty colossal mistake." Her expression turned bitterly wry. "I.. I really believed… or. I thought I did, that I was doing the right thing. I.. I told myself that.. it.. would be better for you t.. to hate me.. " Her voice stopped, and she swallowed a few times. "Then to watch you.. go back to.."

She felt Xena’s chest expand, then relax slowly. "You know… as I was.. making my way into the palace, I kept thinking about you." She paused. "I.. knew.. you were right, Gabrielle. And what I was doing was wrong.. I just… after you told me how evil.. I’d been… I figured I’d just do this, and.. I never expected to come back."

Gabrielle lifted her head, and gazed up at her in shock. "You were going to let them kill you?"

A light shake of Xena’s dark head. "I didn’t care." She answered simply. "I had this thing to do for Lao Ma, and after that…" She sighed softly. "Seeing you there.. it was.. it hurt, but.. in a way, Gabrielle.. in a way, it helped." Her eyes searched the still face beneath her. "You.. still cared.. enough to come all that way.. "

"I had to." Gabrielle put her head back down. "I had to.. I was… Xena, I was angry… so angry that you’d just… give up.. on us. I.. that.. that really, really hurt."

Xena stayed silent for a moment, then hugged her a little closer to take the sting out of her next words. "You saying how two people like Borias and I could have produced Solon hurt." She took a breath. "It didn’t take much for me to figure out which one of us you were comparing to Dahok."

Gabrielle remained silent, for a long moment. "We were pretty brutal with each other." She finally admitted quietly. "I was jealous of Lao Ma." She sniffled. "And.. remembering Hope was really bothering me."

Xena nodded. "I know." She sighed. "I.. realized that… after." She touched her head to the bard’s. "You.. knew exactly where to hit me… and so when you asked that, I said something I knew was going to hurt you."

The bard nodded against her chest. "Was it true?"

The warrior thought about the question, feeling Gabrielle’s heartbeat speed up. "No." She finally admitted. "Lao Ma… saved my soul, Gabrielle.. but she never owned it." The warrior stared darkly over the bard’s shoulder. "It would take ten more years of my taking out my rage and frustration on every living thing I met before I was ready for that." She felt the bard relax a little. Damn.. she really was jealous. "Not that she didn’t try." She went on. "She.. let me.. become a civilized animal." Her eyes unfocused a little. "But she didn’t change who I was. What I was."

"Mmm." Gabrielle murmured thoughtfully. "It was really.. hard.. to go down in that dungeon." She eased them both down onto the bed, and leaned against Xena’s shoulder. "Seeing you.. like that. Looking at me… I felt pretty small."

Xena chewed her lip. "Gabrielle, it wasn’t until I saw you that I started trying to figure out a way to get both of us out of there." She glanced up at the bard. "You realize that, right?"

Gabrielle smiled. "Ironic, huh?"

"Yeah." The warrior admitted.

They looked at each other, and Xena sighed, then hitched herself up and leaned against the wall the bed was pushed up against. She held out her arm, and the bard scooted back and snuggled up against her willingly. "I’m sorry." Gabrielle said quietly, as she settled her arms around her partner’s waist, reveling in the knowledge that she could do this again and it was welcome.

"Me too." Xena responded.

They were quiet for a long time, just resting in each other’s arms, thinking. Finally Xena glanced down. "Gabrielle?"

"Hmm?" The bard looked up at her.

"Mom wants us to come home." The warrior stated quietly. "Is that what you want to do?"

The bard nodded. "Yes." She considered for a moment. "But are we going to be able to deal with all that?" She studied the warrior’s face seriously. "There are a lot of memories there." She lifted a hand and brushed Xena’s cheek, closing her eyes briefly when the warrior leaned into the contact unconsciously. "Though I think most of them are good ones."

Xena smiled. "Some of my best ones." But she ducked her head in acknowledgment. "To be honest, Gabrielle.. I think I need to go home for a while." Her eyes met the bard’s squarely. "There’s.. a lot of.. um.. pieces… it’s going to take me some time to get that back together again."

Gabrielle gave her a quiet grin. "You and me both." She confessed. "Solari asked me if they could travel with us.. if we were going that way. She’s worried about Pony." She paused. "Would you mind?"

The warrior considered that. "Probably a good idea.. I.. um.. I think Ephiny would probably appreciate knowing you’re ok."

"We." Gabrielle replied. "Are ok."

Xena smiled. "We." She conceded, then glanced at the door guiltily. "Probably wondering where we disappeared to." She moved and stiffened, as she pulled her shoulder the wrong way. "Damn, that’s sore."

Gabrielle peered up and her brow contracted. "If you’re admitting that, it must be killing you." She scolded gently. "Hang on." She scrambled off the bed, and went to the saddlebags, rooting around in Xena’s until she found a small jar, then bringing it back to the bed with her. "Lie down."

Xena looked at her, then raised an eyebrow, but did as she was asked, watching the bard as she unhooked the shoulder strap on the right side of her leathers, and opened the jar. The scent of liniment drifted to her, and she closed her eyes as Gabrielle dipped her fingers into it, then started spreading it across the front of her shoulder, rubbing the stuff in gently. The pressure eased its way up the side of her neck, then across to her upper arm, bringing a welcome warmth that had very little to do with the liniment. "Mmm… that feels great. Thanks."

Gabrielle smiled down at her, then set the jar aside, and curled up next to her partner’s sprawled body, settling her head down next to the warrior’s, and curling an arm protectively around the injured shoulder.

"We should go check on Eponin." Xena reminded her, unable to resist snuggling a little closer. "And there’s lots still to do out there."

"Mmmhmm." Gabrielle agreed. "You’re right." She watched as Xena’s eyes drifted shut. "You just rest for a few minutes." She rubbed the bare shoulder gently. "Give this stuff a chance to work its way in, ok?"

"S’allright.. I'm fine." Came the drowsy answer.

"I know.. but it would make me feel better if you did.. so humor me, ok?" Gabrielle coaxed. "Come on…"

"Just for a few minutes?" The warrior mumbled in protest.

"Mmhmm." The bard confirmed.

"Ok."

A contented silence filled the room.

***********************************************************************

"That was more than a few minutes." Xena commented quietly, keeping her eyes closed and soaking in the warmth she’d been missing for so long. "You tricked me."

"Uh huh." Gabrielle mumbled into her right ear. "Made up for last night." The bard snuggled a little closer. "I’m surprised they haven’t come looking for us, though."

Xena’s lips twitched. "I’m not."

One green eye opened and studied her. "No?"

The warrior shook her head. "Told them not to bother us."

A tiny giggle tickled her hearing. "Figures… "

Xena opened both eyes, and turned her head, regarding the bard quietly. "Nice hearing you laugh." The warrior said in a wistful tone. "Been a while."

Gabrielle let out a soft breath. "I know." She hesitated. "It feels so good just to do this." Her head shifted slightly. "I’ve really missed it." She paused. "Missed you.. it was… really lonely without having my best friend around." Her thumb rubbed the soft skin on the warrior’s shoulder gently. "I'm glad you’re back."

Xena sighed. "Hard to believe you’d still consider me that."

Gabrielle closed her eyes. "What do you consider me?" She glanced up and found wide-open blue eyes staring at her in pained consternation. "Am I still your best friend? And don’t give me any ‘if that’s what you want to be’ answers, Xena."

The warrior blinked. "Yes." She answered quietly.

"Then why wouldn't I feel the same?" The bard asked, lifting herself up onto an elbow and looking down at Xena’s tense face. "Xena, I can forgive you until I’m blue in the face, but until you start forgiving yourself, we’re not going to get very far."

The warrior remained silent for a long moment, then gave a little nod. "I know." Her voice was lightly strained. "I’m trying, Gabrielle.. it’s… it’s just hard." She paused. "I look at you, and I can’t help thinking about everything that happened and I just…" She sighed. "So many things I want to go back and change."

Gabrielle touched her head to the warrior’s darker one. "Me too." A quiet admission. "But we have to move past that, Xena.. and I… I can’t do that without you."

Xena lifted a hand and tangled her fingers in the red gold hair spilling across her chest. "I'll always be here for you, Gabrielle, you know that." She hesitated, then went on. "We’ll get through this together." It was a promise, and a commitment, and she knew it. And that knowing made a difference.

The bard nodded. "Together. I like that word."

Slowly, a relaxed smile appeared on the warrior’s face. "Me too." Let it go, Xena… you can’t change some things.. you can’t fix them.. just.. accept what you’ve got right now and move on. "You gonna let me get up now?"

One blond eyebrow quirked up. "Let you? You make me sound like such a tyrant here… forcing you to stay in this nice comfortable bed. " She eased back down, and sighed. "You really want me to move?"

"No." Xena replied sheepishly. "But we really should."

That got her a peeved sigh in her right ear. "Oh.. all right…I did promise to help out rewriting some of those records that got burned." The bard straightened up, and slid off the bed, stretching as she stood and yawning. "We really haven’t been in here that long."

The warrior tilted her head and regarded the window. "That’s true." She admitted with a surprised note in her voice. "I should check on Eponin.. she was still dizzy and having problems seeing straight when I left."

Gabrielle snorted softly. "Maybe she should stop drinking the tavern dry at night." She shook her head, watching her partner out of the corner of her eye as the warrior rose and stretched her own long frame. "I warned Solari about that."

Xena stopped in mid motion, and her brow creased. "Yeah? When?"

The bard walked over to the wash basin and dampened a linen cloth, running it over her arms lightly. "This morning… why?"

The warrior snorted softly. "They’re gonna think we planned it. I said the same thing to Eponin."

Gabrielle chuckled. "Let them…" She paused. "I'm.. kinda worried about her."

Xena fastened her shoulder strap, which had been hanging loose, and turned to face her partner. "Well, it’s a pretty nasty head wound…but she’s tough, Gabrielle.. I think she’ll be ok after a few days." She fiddled with a bit of the leather skirting. "Probably a good thing we’re going back with them, though." Not, she thought dryly, that she was looking forward to facing the Amazons, especially Ephiny, but… well, she was used to everyone hating her… she could.. take that. But she felt the pang inside and let out a soft sigh, then shook it off with an irritated wince. Enough. "You done?"

The bard ran damp fingers through her hair and tugged her skirt into place, then gave a quick nod. "Yep… let’s go."

Johan sipped at his ale, watching the activity in the inn with an amused eye. Now that his search was over.. And successful, he added silently, thankfully. It was good to sit back, and relax. He’d been traveling for a week, pushing the merchant’s train he was traveling with as fast as he could, reluctant to strike out on his own due to all the raiders in these parts.

He never expected to find them as fast as he did… coming around that corner and almost colliding with Gabrielle was the last thing he’d expected to do. But the bard looked.. He considered. Pretty good.. she seemed healthy, and in fairly good spirits considering all that had happened. She looked better, in fact, than Xena did.

His brow creased in concern. The warrior looked exhausted, and there was a haunted, pained expression about her eyes that even he could see, having spent the winter with her in close proximity.

They had watched Gabrielle leave, then he’d turned to her. "It’s good to see you both." He’d said. "Ye’ve got some folks fair worried, lass."

Xena had smiled wearily, then dropped her gaze. "You’ve heard it all, I guess."

He’d nodded. "As much as that Amazon knew, aye." He’d twisted his lip in two fingers. "Ye’re mother is a might disturbed at that one." His eyes had glinted. "She gave er a piece of her mind, she did."

Startled blue eyes had lifted to his. "She did, huh?"

Johan rolled his eyes a little. "Lass…her heart’s crying for you, and for Gabrielle." He ‘d stepped closer. "I’m glad you both made it."

Xena had taken in a deep breath, and touched his arm. "Thanks… it means a lot to me knowing I’ve still got a home to go back to."

He hadn’t expected that, hadn’t expected so plain and open a statement from her, and it had given him a twinge, deep in his chest. "No fear for that, lass." He’d finally said. "I’m glad I found you here." He’d cleared his throat. "Will you be coming then?"

Xena had given him a quiet smile. "I think so.. Johan. I’ll ask Gabrielle.. but I think we both would.. like that very much." Her eyes had drifted. "I’ve… got to go talk to her in fact.. um… sit down, have a glass of ale. It’s not bad here."

So he had, and had eaten a decent meal that was good, but not a match for the cooking he was used to. The merchants in the train had straggled in, swiping the dust and soot off them, and settled down in small groups, relieved to be off the road, and out of danger at last.

Two of them settled down at his table, and nodded as a server brought over a platter with a good loaf of bread on it, and set down a plate of oil and garlic for dipping. "Damn.. Johan. I lost half my stock to those bastards. " The taller of the two complained, as he tore off a piece of the loaf and stuffed it in his mouth. "Pity they didn’t hit this place first." He swallowed. "Let that demon bitch take care of them for us."

Johan half started out of his seat, reaching over and grabbing the man by the throat of his thick shirt and pulling him forward. "Watch yer mouth, ye bastard. She’s family." It came out before he realized he was going to say it, and he felt a little shock go through him as the words took shape.

Joining his life to Cyrene’s had brought this little side benefit. One expected one’s older years to be calm, and peaceful. Inheriting the former Destroyer of Nations as a stepdaughter somehow inhibited that.

He liked that. Calm and peaceful also tended to get a bit.. boring.

The merchant paused in mid chew, bits of bread comically hanging out of his mouth as he stared in stunned disbelief at the stocky trader. "F…f…family?" He squeaked. "Y.. you?"

Johan let him go, and straightened his shoulders. "Aye." He narrowed his eyes. "Ye got a problem wi that?"

The merchant waved his hands wildly. "No.. no no…. of course not.. I ah… no." He looked up and his eyes widened. "Ah.. right.. um.. I have to go see a man about a horse." He scrambled up out of his seat and headed for the door, not looking back.

"Food that bad?" A voice, tinged with a mild, weary amusement floated over his head and he smiled wryly.

"Nah.. he’s just an… " He glanced at Xena, who seated herself on one side of him, then at Gabrielle, who took the seat on the other side and cleared his throat. "anti social.. kind of lad."

"Uh huh." Xena absorbed this, as she rested her forearms on the table, and took a breath. "I see."

The other merchant took the opportunity to slink off, and they watched him go. "I think I'm ruining your social life, Johan." The warrior commented quietly. "Maybe I'd better go sit on the other side of the room."

Johan felt Gabrielle suck in a breath to answer that and held up a hand to forestall her. "Their loss, ladies.. I'm not one to be complaining when I've got the loveliest lasses in the room bracketing me like a pair of bookends."

That got a burst of delighted laughter from Gabrielle, and even managed to wring a good-natured smile from Xena, who glanced up as Solari ambled over and dragged a chair out. "C'mon.. join the party.." The warrior drawled. "We're boosting Johan's ego over here." She let her eyes flick over the Amazon as she seated herself. "How's Eponin doing? She was sleeping when I checked a bit ago."

Solari leaned an elbow on the table, and rested her chin against her hand. "I'm worried." She lifted her eyes to meet Xena's. "She's not complaining." She took in the warrior's raised eyebrow with a nod. "Yeah, my thoughts exactly… so I'm worried. I had the luck to be around her the last time she got hurt, and believe me, I was ready to…. Well, let's just say Eph earned my respect, OK?"

Gabrielle smothered a smile, and caught the attention of a passing server. "Can we get three orders of whatever it is you're serving, and three… " She chewed her lip. "cold ciders, please." She exchanged a look with her partner, who quirked an eyebrow at her and glanced down. "Um.. don't want to take any chances with that bump on the head you took yesterday."

"Right." Xena nodded, then rose. "I'll go check Eponin out, if that'll make you feel better, Solari."

The dark haired Amazon nodded glumly. "Thanks, Xena." She watched the tall warrior start towards the small room Eponin was resting in. "Oh.. Xena?"

One dark brow edged up. "Yeah?"

"Don't make her… um.. too.. much better, you know what I mean? She starts wanting to spar and stuff.. and I'm really tired." Solari pleaded.

Xena just waved at her, and kept on moving towards the room.

Solari looked over, and found both Johan and Gabrielle staring at her. "Well.. she does." The Amazon wailed, lifting her hands.

Gabrielle just chuckled. "Two peas in a pod." She sighed, playing with her fork. "So.. Johan.. how.. I mean, is everything ok… "

The trader turned towards her, and tucked one of her hands in his larger one. "Lass, things are well there… though Cyrene's near out of her mind worrying about you two." He smiled gently at her. "That poor hound of yours is pining for you something fierce, too.. he spends all the day moping around the cabin, looking mighty grumpy." He studied the mist green eyes opposite him, aching at the shadows that colored the formerly sunny depths, and the lines that creased their edges laying claim to the experiences that had marked her. "We've missed you."

"Thanks." The bard responded quietly. "I miss you all too.. I'm looking forward to going home." Then a warm sparkle ignited in the green depths, and she grinned impishly at him. "So… " She bit her lip a little. "Can I call you dad?"

Johan felt himself turning brick red. "Lass.." He stammered. "I.. um…. "

"C'mon, Johan… " Gabrielle let her grin widen.

"I promised I wouldn't let on before Cyrene had the chance to, damn it!" He sighed piteously. "Lass, you're a hard one, you are."

Gabrielle leaned on the table. "Johan, I've lived the last three years with someone with a daily word allowance of about six. You learn to read between the lines."

Solari started laughing. "Gabrielle, you're really something else, you know that?"

The bard was not to be distracted. "Well, can I?"

He squeezed her hand. "Aye, lass. Would be my honor."

Gabrielle hugged him. "Thanks.. you don't know how happy I am for both of you."

Johan looked straight at her. "Aye, but I think I do." His eyes dropped to the necklace that was gently gathering the room's light, and then lifted back to hers. "I think I do."

The room was quiet when Xena slipped in, but her sense of hearing told her the occupant wasn't sleeping. "Hi." She commented, crossing the wooden floor and sinking down on the small stool next to the bed. She reached over and turned the Amazon's head a tiny bit, to see the large, discolored bump on the side of her head. "Well, that ain't pretty."

Eponin gazed up at her glassily. "I must be in trouble.. they sent you in here." She murmured, blinking slowly. "Not for your bedside manner, either."

The warrior studied her. "You still nauseous?"

The Amazon nodded. "Headache, stomachache… put me out of my misery, ok?" She sighed, and looked over Xena's shoulder, her thoughts elsewhere.

Xena raised her gaze to the ceiling, then dropped it down again. "Look. I'm about as good at this sensitive chat stuff as I am at cooking. Which isn't good.." She captured Eponin's uneasy gaze. "So .. save me some trouble, and just tell me what the problem is, OK?"

Long silence. Xena was almost convinced that Eponin was going to out stubborn her, when the Amazon let out a little sigh, and turned her head away.

"I don't like having to be rescued." Came the reluctant whisper.

"Been there." Xena looked down at her hands, and watched her fingers wrestle with each other. "It happens."

"Not to me." Eponin rasped out. "I'm not some green kid, Xena… I should have seen that bastard coming."

A unique experience.. Xena mused. Is that what I sounded like to Gabrielle, all those months ago? Gods.. I wish I could go back and have this be my only problem. "Eponin.. lemme tell you something I learned the last few months, ok?" She rested her elbows on her knees and let out a breath. "The only thing that matters is surviving.. doesn’t really matter how you do it, or what you have to do to get it done. If you need help.. that's ok, and you're lucky if you get it."

The Amazon stared at her. "I can't believe I'm hearing this from you."

Xena laughed humorlessly. "Believe it.. took me a long time to get that through my skull, but damn it, it's there now. Listen.. you got a good thing with Eph?"

A timid nod.

"You go home.. you get to see her again. That's what's important. Not that some bozo clocked you one, Eponin. Or I had to shove you out of the way… take some advice, just believe it. Took me dying and almost losing my soul to learn that. I'm giving it to you for free. Ok?"

The Amazon studied the dark, shadowed face and sighed. "You make me feel damn petty, Xena." She replied softly. "This whole thing really tore you up, didn't it?"

The warrior studied the floor intently. "Yeah, it did." She answered in a calm tone.

"So.. you're telling me to shut up and count my blessings, right?" Eponin countered.

Blue eyes focused on her. "Something like that, yeah."

The Amazon chewed her lip. "Y'know.. you're actually better at this than Eph is." She had to smile at the arched eyebrow the statement evoked. "Gabrielle must be rubbing off on you."

Xena laughed softly. "Thanks for the compliment." She drawled, then stood.

"Hey.. are you guys.. I mean… " Eponin hesitated.

"C'mon." The warrior replied with a knowing grin. "I'll give you a hand getting out there." She extended a hand and waited for Eponin to grab it, then pulled very gently up until the Amazon was standing. "You ok?"

Eponin swayed a little, still hanging on to the taller woman's arm. "Dizzy." She admitted grudgingly, giving Xena a disgusted look. "Damn."

The warrior glanced back with an unreadable expression, and pulled the Amazon's arm over her shoulders, stepping up next to her, and putting a supportive arm around Eponin's waist. "C'mon." She sighed. "I don't want you falling down and whacking your head again."

"Gee, thanks, Xena." Eponin muttered, but didn't protest the help. "You're just a world of encouragement."

"Anytime." The warrior responded, as they walked to the door, and she pushed it open. As they entered the main room of the inn, they got the immediate attention of their friends, among others. "You should tell Solari not to stare like that. She looks like a fish."

Eponin snorted softly, concentrating on walking. "Yeah? You should tell Gabrielle not to look at you like that. She's going to ruin your reputation."

Huh? Xena turned her head and met the bard's eyes across the room, seeing the slight smile, and the look of warm devotion that seemed to reach out across the crowd and bathe her in a welcome light. Oh. That. She grunted, but knew her face was responding when she felt Eponin's wry chuckle. "What reputation?" She finally grumbled, but tucked the warm feeling away in a deep place. It had been a while, she realized, since she'd seen that particular look, and she had to admit she'd missed it. With a sigh, she settled Eponin in the seat next to Solari, and moved around to the other side of the table to sit in the only other open seat, which was conveniently next to Gabrielle. "Hi."

"Hi yourself." The bard replied, then jerked her head towards Eponin, who was muttering to Solari. "Nice work." She added in a low voice, as the server arrived with their dinners. "I ordered another plate, just in case." She grinned.

Xena gave her a look. "Uh huh…" Then she shrugged. "She was upset about getting whacked in that fight. I just told her to stop moping and count her blessings."

Gabrielle almost spit a mouthful of cider out onto the table. She swallowed it, then slowly turned her head and gave her partner a look. "You told her that? You?"

The warrior lowered her gaze, and played with the food on her plate. "Yeah…maybe I've learned something." She said very quietly, picking up a bit of vegetable and putting it in her mouth, then chewing absently.

The bard gazed at her compassionately, and slid a hand under the table, letting it rest against the warrior's knee and giving the soft skin a gentle squeeze. "Hey guess what?"

Blue eyes lifted inquiringly. "What?" She watched Johan stick his nose into his mug and flush and felt a reluctant grin edging across her face. "I was right?"

Gabrielle chuckled. "Yep."

Xena's eyes twinkled gently. "Congratulations, Johan."

The trader peeked up at her. "Ye're mother's going to kill me for not letting her be the teller of her own tales." He complained. "She's not going to believe I didn't tell ye."

Xena let a brow curve up. "You can just remind her she didn't have to be told either." The warrior smirked a little.

"Yeah? With those goofy looks on your faces, nobody does." Eponin offered from across the table, safely out of Xena's reach. She ignored Solari's openmouthed stare, and chewed industriously. "What?" She muttered, glancing innocently between them.

Bard and warrior looked from her to each other. "Still, huh?" Gabrielle asked very softly.

"Yeah.. I guess so." Xena answered, with her eyes fixed firmly on her plate, but a tiny smile edging her mouth.

Gabrielle made sure it was an early night, since they intended to get started out early in the morning. The village was repaired as well as could be expected, and the village had tendered their thanks, and grateful best wishes, including presenting Xena with a set of armor repair tools by way of a gift, which she’d accepted reluctantly.

She stood now, with the leather case in one hand, gazing out of the window in their small room, a pensive look on her face. "You usually intercept this kind of thing." She finally commented, in a subdued voice.

Gabrielle looked up from where she was seated at the small table, and chewed thoughtfully at the quill she was holding. Honesty? Yeah.. at this point, it’s the best way."Yeah, I know."

The warrior’s dark head nodded a little. "But you didn’t this time."

"No." The bard twirled the quill in her fingers. "I didn’t… I… um… thought you needed to hear it, just this once." She saw Xena’s eyes close, and watched as she rested her head against the windowsill. "Was I right?"

"Is it that obvious?" Came the muttered question.

Gabrielle smiled to herself. "I won’t answer that question if you keep quiet about how many people you strong armed into asking me for stories tonight."

Xena didn’t answer, but the bard could see the sudden movement as she fought to keep a grin off her face. "Busted." She commented, and went back to her writing, scribbling for a minute, then looking back up. "And.. thank you. I.. jumping back into it like that really helped."

The warrior turned around and perched on the windowsill, crossing her arms, and allowing a smile to appear on her face. "You were right, and yes, I really did need to hear it, just this once." She admitted. "Thanks."

They looked at each other.

Gabrielle ducked her head and went back to her writing, closing her eyes for an instant to enjoy the slight breeze entering through the window, which brought to her a hint of roses and the muskiness of summer rain, and the warm smell of the candles burning around her.

Today has been.. one of the best days in a long, long time. Well, parts of it were kind of scary, I mean, we had raiders attack, and Eponin got hurt, but…oh boy, there was a moment in that fight, when I saw her go down.. and I thought I was going to go crazy, trying to get to her.

I haven’t felt that strong with my staff.. in a while, but every move I made stuck, and I knocked some guy silly head over heels because he was the last thing between me and her, and then we went back to back, and I can’t tell you how good that felt. And I was the one who noticed the guy that was going to shoot Solari first!

Lucky I almost tripped over that rock.. I gave it to her, and boy, did she ever get her arm into that one. I felt really, really bad for the horse though.

She found the necklace. She’s wearing it. That’s all I think I need to say about that.

A merchant train got attacked by the same raiders we took care of here.. and Johan was part of it. He was out looking for us, because Cyrene’s all worried. That felt good too, especially when he made it pretty clear he really was out here looking for both of us, not just Xena.

I was kind of worried about that. Solon was her grandson. I don’t know what I’m going to say to her when I see her.. all of the stuff that went on, and what I did to her daughter. I hope it will be ok… she loves Xena very much, but I do too, and I think she knows that.

I think Xena’s nervous about going to the Amazons. She hasn’t said anything, but.. I know her, and how she thinks. I have to get to Ephiny and set things straight so we don’t have any more misunderstandings. I don’t want anyone getting hurt, least of all Xena. She’s been through so much, it’s really taken its toll on her, I can see that. I need to get her home, and maybe then we can just start putting our lives back together.

Some little things already are. We were walking back here from dinner, and she just put her arm around me, just like she used to, without really thinking about it. It felt really good. But we’re still very, very careful with each other. There’s not much teasing.. well, just a tiny, tiny bit. We’re both afraid to hurt each other, even that way, even though we both know we’re kidding.

This is going to take time. I said that today. You know what she said? She said, that’s all right, Gabrielle.. we have two lifetimes.

I’d forgotten I’d said that to her. Figures she’d remember it.

But you know what? I believe that again. I really do.

The bard closed her diary, and set the quill down, leaning back and regarding the tall, dark haired warrior, who was still perched on the windowsill, eyes focused out into the darkness. With a half smile, she stood, and walked over, resting her shoulder against the opposite part of the windowframe. "Dinar for your thoughts?"

Xena turned her head, and smiled briefly. "Nothing special.. just watching the rain, mostly." She admitted quietly. "You done writing?"

Gabrielle nodded. "Yes.. Xena!" She tugged the warrior inside the window. "You’re getting all wet." She brushed the excess moisture off the dark leathers, and the pale fine hair on her arms. "C’mon.. get out of those, and lie down, and I’ll put some more stuff on your shoulder, ok?"

No argument from the warrior, which worried Gabrielle, but she followed suit as Xena changed and obediently relaxed on the bed, as she picked up the jar of liniment, and slipped onto her side next to the warrior’s lean form. "How’s it feeling?"

A waggled of Xena’s hand. "It’s all right."

"Uh huh." Gabrielle mumbled thoughtfully, as she eased her hand under the fabric covering the shoulder in question, and probed gently, seeing the half-hidden flinch. "Right." She sighed, then started working the liniment in carefully.

Xena’s skin was warm to the touch, as always, and had that distinctive half spicy, half musky scent that was part brass, and part leather, and part just Xena. She breathed it in and felt her body responding to the closeness of her soulmate with gentle pleasure, and she eased closer in an almost unconscious movement. "How’s that?"

Eyes gone violet in the candlelight regarded her quietly. "Much better.. thanks." Xena responded in a softly husky voice

It went right through her, and wrapped its warmth around her guts the way only hers had ever been able to. Silently, she cursed the fear that kept her still, cursed Dahok and what he’d done to her.

Xena saw it in her eyes, and reached over, taking the jar from her and putting it on the bedside table, then rubbing her arm lightly. "Lay down."

Gabrielle settled unhappily against her, breathing out her frustration in a long warm gust against the warrior’s chest. A hand lifted and stroked her hair gently. "Xena… "

"Shh… I know." The warrior’s voice tickled her ears. "It’s ok."

"No it’s not." The bard sagged against her. "It’s not all right. It’s dirty, and ugly, and I hate feeling this way, Xena." Her voice cracked in frustration. "I hate it…I say that and I can hear him laughing at me."

"Gabrielle.. give it time… " Xena rubbed her back slowly and thought for a minute. "What is it that scares you the most?"

The bard considered the question. "That I’ll have to live through that feeling again." She finally answered, faintly. "That I’ll feel him inside of me. " Her eyes closed. "I don’t want that between us." She buried her face into the soft fabric of Xena’s shirt.

Xena let her vision unfocus, as she wrestled with the problem. "Hey." She looked down, and got the bard’s attention. Tired green eyes gazed up at her trustingly. She lazily lifted a hand and brushed the bard’s hair back, then trailed a fingertip across her cheekbone, and down the line of her jaw. "Does that bother you?"

Gabrielle thought about it. "No." She shook her head. "It just feels… well, like it always does when you touch me."

A slow nod. "And how is that?"

The bard’s brow knitted. "Well… um…kind of… warm, and nice… tingly… there’s no way to…I mean.. I always know when it’s you, right?"

Xena chewed her lip, feeling her way cautiously. "Why do you think that is?"

Gabrielle looked at her. "Because it’s you, of course." She gave a little shrug. "Its always been like that."

"Yeah.. but why?" Xena persisted, seeing a glimmer of light and digging gently. "Why is it different when I do it… instead of.. say… Solari."

Gabrielle relaxed, and giggled a little. "Well, because if Solari did that, you’d kick her into next month."

Xena chuckled. "Yeah, that’s true, but besides that."

The bard thought a moment. "I guess it’s because.. um.. well, because we love each other.. right?" She paused. "I mean.. I always thought.."

The warrior nodded. "Right." She continued stroking Gabrielle’s face, and saw the green eyes darken slightly, as a flush crept up her neck. "That’s an important part of it, Gabrielle… it’s the only really important thing, in fact." She let her voice drop a little. "He didn’t make you feel like this, did he?"

A slow shake of Gabrielle’s head. "No." She breathed. "You’re the only one who ever has." She closed her eyes and let the feeling roll over her, centered in the rhythmic movement of Xena’s fingers over her skin. "My body knows the difference."

Xena smiled. "Yeah.. that’s a start." She pulled the bard closer and hugged her. "Keep thinking about that… all right?"

Gabrielle snuggled close, letting herself float in the warm feelings that were still echoing through her. Maybe there is a way out of this.

Maybe.

It was warm inside, Gabrielle realized, and she scooted into the cabin with a sense of relief. She crossed to the fire, and sat down cross-legged in front of it, absorbing the heat eagerly. Staff practice had been brisk, and she felt the pleasant tiredness of an afternoon's good usage of her body, but it was good to get inside, away from the cold, stiff wind that reddened her cheeks and rendered her breathing into visible puffs of air.

She scowled as a cold draft chilled her back, then the cross expression eased into a smile as the door closed behind her soulmate, just in from a two day hunting expedition. "Wow.. wasn’t expecting you back so soon!" She swiveled and drank in the sight of her, as she threw back her heavy cloak to reveal dark blue leathers that outlined her form in sensual detail and thick knitted leggings tucked into her high boots. "But aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

Xena grinned, and held up her hands. "Went, got what I went for, came back. End of story." She hung her heavy cloak up and fairly bounded across the room, her good spirits evident even before she settled next to Gabrielle and pulled her into a big hug. "What's wrong with your eyes? " She studied the body parts in question. "They look pretty damn good to me."

"Hey!" The bard laughed, surprised at the exuberance of the greeting, but not minding a bit. "What’s got into you?" She interlaced her fingers into the ties closing Xena's leathers and tugged. 'C'mere…"

Xena shook her head, and just sighed happily. "Nothing." She replied. "I just feel great." Her grin had widened. "Glad to be back.. I missed you." She leaned forward and captured the bard's lips for a long, dizzying moment. Then she chuckled softly as they separated for an instant.

Gabrielle gave her a dazzling smile in return. "I missed you too.." She pulled her closer again, and basked in the warmth from the fire, and from the glow that ignited between them.

Slowly the warmth of the dream gave way to the blanket of sunlight laying over the bard’s shoulders, in a place far removed from her dream, and in circumstances she would have rather not remembered.

Grudgingly, she let the filter of reality force the wonder of her dream back, into the vaults of memory that day by day seemed to get further and further from her.Damn. She sighed silently, I hate waking up sometimes.

But.. she reflected.. it was better now than it had been.. waking up from dreams like that alone.. on the cold ground…to see the still, huddled form rolled away from her tight in its own misery…

A pensive breath. It still hurt. Thinking of those months when silence had settled between them, and almost all traces of what she'd sworn was an unbreakable trust, and love…

Gone.

At least now, her fingers flexed on familiar warmth under fabric, and the sound that gently coaxed her from sleep was a strong, vibrant heartbeat whose pattern she knew as well as her own. She felt the motion of fingers against her back, and let her eyes drift open and look up towards a familiar profile.

"Hey…"

She raised her head, and met Xena’s serious blue eyes. "Morning." She blinked, and felt the tear roll down her cheek, closing her eyes as the warrior's thumb captured it. "Sorry."

"What’s wrong?" Xena asked in a subdued voice. "Bad dream?"

Gabrielle shook her head a little. "No.. a good one." Then she realized how that must have sounded and glanced up to where Xena was trying to hide a hurt look. "No.. no. I mean.. " She hesitated. "That’s not what I meant."

A light shrug. "It’s all right, Gabrielle.. I.. I understand."

"Do you?" The bard sighed. Did Xena miss what she missed? Hard to tell sometimes.

"If I could give up anything, to change the last few months, I would." The warrior answered quietly. "I hope you know that."

"You do understand." Gabrielle murmured. She was silent for a long moment. "It’s never going to be like that again, is it, Xena?" She could feel the sharp jolt of pain at the words, and suddenly the loss overwhelmed her, and forced soft, racking sobs from her chest. She wanted that back so badly.. her body craved it, the warmth, and the love…

It wasn't fair.. her mind whispered. Wouldn't it have been better to have never… Her mind flashed on the remnants of her dream, and she felt the memories warm her. No… it would have.. no.. whatever happens, they can't take that away from me.

Xena hugged her close, and rubbed her back as she cried, easing the pain until she finally quieted. "Thanks… I.. I’m sorry I did that." She sniffled, feeling guilty. "Not a really good way to say good morning."

"It’s all right." The warrior mumbled into her ear. "Just having you here makes the morning a good one for me."

The pain eased. "Really?" Gabrielle asked softly, shamefacedly begging reassurance.

"Really." Came the answer. "Gabrielle.. I.. I know it’s hard.. it’s.. it’s hard for me too. But.." She took a breath. "What we have means a lot to me.. means… everything.. really. And I'm not going to let that get taken away again. I'm not." The last two words were almost savage in their intensity. "I.. never thought I’d ever get to.. " Xena stopped then went on. "We’re going to get back to that, Gabrielle. I swear it."

The bard lay quietly, looking up at her. "You really want that." There was a touch of wonder in her voice.

"More than anything else in the world." The warrior answered fiercely. Then her eyes dropped and she swallowed. ‘If.. I .. if that’s what you want, too." Accepting the possibility that Gabrielle might not want to fight what she knew was going to be a long, tough struggle for that "I mean."

The bard slowly smiled. It comes down to belief, doesn’t it? Do I believe in her? Do I believe in us? In myself? "It’s what I want." She breathed. "I don’t care how long it takes."

The blue eyes sparkled gently at that. Xena wrapped her arms around the bard a little tighter, and shifted her to a more comfortable position. "Good." Her voice cracked a little on the word.

What has this done to her? The bard sighed wistfully, as she ran her fingers up and down the powerful arms holding her, and let her eyes drift shut. It hurts me, but… I think it's worse… I know it's worse for her.. I wish I could do more to help her put things together.. but I guess that's just going to take time. "We’re going to get grief." She mumbled. "It’s really late."

"Mmm.." Xena agreed absently. "I’ve already told Solari to get lost twice." She looked down at the now wide-open and aghast green eyes. "Told her I wasn’t going to wake you up." The warrior explained reasonably. "Besides… Eponin needs the rest." She gave a little shrug. "And.. it's.. it was so peaceful…you.. were smiling.. didn't want to disturb that."

"Xena…" The bard laughed softly. "So you’ve just been lying around here waiting for me to wake up?" She realized her hands had started a gentle, restless movement and hesitated, then let them be.

"Yep." Xena looked slightly pleased with herself. "But we probably should get going.. Johan’s coming with us until Amazon territory, then he’s going on home."

Gabrielle felt the little flutter of her heartbeat when the Amazons were mentioned, and she raised herself up a bit and looked her partner in the eye. "Is going back with Eponin and Solari bothering you?"

Damn. Xena’s eyebrow quirked. "Um… a little." She admitted reluctantly. "It’s… nothing really, Gabrielle.. I’m just a little… " She let the words trail off and shrugged. "I’ll be fine."

The bard took a breath, considering her words carefully. "I’d rather not go if it’s going to bother you." She paused. "And.. um.. I.. don’t want to go there alone."

Xena lifted a hand and gently stroked her face. "No.. we should have let Ephiny know what’s going on…it’s not fair to her, Gabrielle… I’m.. used to not being liked. I'll live." The second part of the bard’s statement had cheered her considerably. "I owe Eph an apology anyway. If she’ll accept it."

"I’ll break her other arm if she doesn’t." Gabrielle muttered to herself. "Thanks… " Her hand settled to rest against the warrior's neck, and traced her breastbone idly. "I'll .. try to make it quick there.. I.. I kind of want to um…I'd like to see mom, and all."

She became aware of the slow, even motion of Xena's hand against her back, sending warm tickles through her. She decided she liked that, and felt her muscles shift under the probing fingers as she blinked a little. "Mmm."

"I'd like.. to see mom too." Xena murmured, absorbing the quiet, knowing pressure against her skin without comment. "And Ares." She smiled quietly at the bard. "You'll love the colts." She felt her breathing stop when Gabrielle's wandering hands slipped under the fabric of her shirt. "Uh… um.. mom.. um.. named them Hercules and Iolaus."

A quiet snorting laugh from Gabrielle. "We'll never live that down." She sighed. "I'm.. um… a little nervous about.. Xena.. your mom.. your family…" She dropped her gaze. "I don't…"

A strong hand slipped up her side, and patted her gently. "Mom loves you. And so does Toris. Even when I went home to.. to pick up Argo, she was really worried about you."

"I know.. but.." Gabrielle traced a familiar scar just below the warrior's breastbone. "You told her what was going on?"

A deep sigh. "She could tell something was wrong. I…I n.. needed to tell someone." Xena admitted softly. "She.. made me promise not to give up on us."

"Us." Gabrielle let out a little, satisfied breath. "I like that word." Her fingers drifted further, following the curve of her ribs, and tracing the hollows between them. She felt the bones under her hands move as the warrior took a breath. "I don't.." She glanced up and was caught in Xena’s gaze not far from her own. That blue she loved to drown in, letting her concerns drift off for the moment and concentrating on the pressure of Xena's hands, and the faint hint of a familiar smile playing around the corners of her lips.

Realizing just how much of their bodies were touching each other, tangled along both of their lengths in a comfortable sprawl, as a friendly glow crept quietly, stealthily out and began making timid inroads on her senses.

Amazing how close their lips were. She could see the faint twitch in Xena's, if she looked closely, and suddenly, she wanted to.

It happened so fast she hardly had time to think about it, as she let her body drop forward a little and they kissed before she had a chance to prepare, or remember, or worry.

And she found another thing that hadn’t changed, at all, as a sensual wave crashed over her.

She broke off after a long moment, and they looked at each other in surprise. "I.. um… uh.. " The bard stammered. "I wasn’t.. I didn’t… uh.."

"Um.. yeah… me neither.. I… " Xena stopped, and took a deep breath. "Wow that felt good." She finished meekly, with a sheepish little grin, watching the bard's face anxiously.

Gabrielle licked her lips. "Yeah, it did." She whispered, letting herself relax into a real smile. "It did." No darkness, no Dahok.. it had just been them. A part of her soul wriggled free and went soaring.

They looked at each other, then at the window, where Solari's voice was floating in on the breeze. "Uh oh." Gabrielle muttered. "Guess they're waiting." She took a deep breath. "And.. I.. I don't know if I'm ready… " She met Xena's eyes squarely, seeing gentle understanding there.

"We've got time." The warrior replied immediately, sliding her fingers through the bard's fair hair, and bringing them to rest on the back of her neck, where she started a gentle scratching.

"Ungh." Gabrielle's eyes closed, and her head dropped forward. "Keep doing that and we'll never get out of here." She muffled a curse as she heard impatient footsteps approaching. "I think we just ran out of time."

"Pesky Amazons." Xena muttered. "They're like horseflies sometimes." Without thinking, she slid out of bed, and carried the bard with her, cradling her as she stood and walked towards the door.

"Xena.. where are you.. "

The door opened, and Gabrielle was eye to eye with Solari, whose expression rapidly mutated from annoyed to stunned, to embarrassed in a very short span. "Morning." The bard managed, biting her lip. "We'll.. um.. be right there." She glanced up. "Right?"

"Right." Xena replied in a serious tone.

"Uh huh. " Solari nodded, and turned about, scooting rapidly out of sight as Xena quietly closed the door behind her.

"You.. um.. going to let me down?" The bard asked softly. She was set on her feet immediately.

'Sorry." Xena stepped back in confusion. "I.. I wasn't thinking."

Gabrielle thought about that for a long minute, then gave her a little pat on the side. "Good.. don't think more often."

She left Xena to ponder that as she dug out a change of clothing, and started gathering their stuff.

The late morning sun baked the small village square, evoking a gentle steaming from the mud churned up from the previous night's rainfall. The air was still moist, and the humid, fitful breeze promised more rain to come, despite the fluffy white clouds which dotted the summer sky.

The village went about its business, some of the inhabitants stopping to say hello, or goodbye to the small group clustered in front of the inn, around a large, patient golden mare.

"Look.. I don't need to ride that horse." Eponin said through gritted teeth. "Damn it, Xena." The Amazon had woken with a still pounding head, and a troublesome tendency to vertigo that was secretly worrying Xena more than she let on.

Gabrielle stepped forward, exchanging a glance with Solari. "Pony.. c'mon.. it's no big deal. Argo's really nice." She coaxed. "It's just for a while.. we don't mind.. I like walking, remember?"

"Yeah.. " Solari chimed in. "C'mon, Eponin… sooner you get up there, sooner we can get gong and create a breeze." She wiped her face off. "Damn, it's hot."

Eponin scowled. "I'm not riding on no horse." She hefted a staff she'd picked up. "I can use this.. let's get going."

Xena had enough. She dropped Argo's reins and walked around to the other side of the mare, where they were all standing. "Eponin." She stated flatly. "Get up on Argo or I'll put you there." She put her hands on her hips and waited.

They all looked at her. "Well.. guess the Warrior Princess stopped off for a cup of tea." Eponin muttered, and handed Solari the staff. "All right.. all right.. I know a threat when I hear one." She put one hand on the saddlehorn, and grabbed suddenly at Argo as a wave of dizziness hit her. "Damn." She cursed softly, as Xena caught her around the waist, and she was boosted up into the mare's high saddle. "What in Hades did you put in your breakfast, Xena?" She sniped. "I feel like a sack of flour being tossed around.."

Xena ignored her, and just shook her head, taking up Argo's reins and starting off. Gabrielle paced alongside her, moving her staff with practiced grace, and darting the occasional glance back at Solari and Johan, who were chatting amiably. Johan had left his wares behind, making a deal with the other two merchants who had started out with him in Amphipolis to trade his stuff on commission. He hadn't brought much, it was more an excuse to travel as part of the caravan than anything else.

The air around them seemed thick with hot, steamy moisture, and Xena sighed, realizing it was going to be an uncommonly uncomfortable day to walk, ride, or anything else other than sit quietly in the shade. Not for the first time, she silently envied Gabrielle her choice of clothing.. the bard's sparse, cloth garb was definitely looking a lot cooler than the Amazon's feather bedecked leathers, or her own dark covering.

"Something wrong?" Gabrielle asked, her brow creasing, as she strode along.

Xena realized she'd been staring, and mentally, quietly, slapped herself. "Nope.. just thinking you picked the best thing to wear. for today." With a silent sigh, she reached back and twisted her long, dark hair into a knot, to get it off her shoulders.

The bard glanced down at herself critically. "I'm probably going to get sunburned like crazy." She mentioned, looking up at the sky, then over at Xena. "Hope you have some aloe with you."

Xena amiably took this excuse to study the exposed skin in question. "You should be all right.. you're pretty tan." She pronounced, then took a breath. "But yeah, I've got some."

Gabrielle's turn to do the studying. "Those leathers look really hot." She repeated that in her head, and felt a light blush coming on. "Uhm… warm, I mean." She looked around them with determined interest, avoiding the faint amusement in the warrior's blue eyes.

The road stretched on in front of them, leading through a long, flat plain towards the faint purple haze of mountains on the far horizon. Around them she could hear the flat, harsh sound of crickets in the tall grass, and the fitful rustle of small creatures that moved as they passed by. The air carried the heavy scent of growing things, and the baking earth to her nostrils.

She took a quick look at Xena, who was letting her eyes scan the surroundings in an automatic gesture, and seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. "Hey." She reached out and touched a warm arm.

A tiny shake of the warrior's head. "Huh?" Xena glanced over. "What's up?"

Gabrielle moved closer and studied her. "I got the feeling you weren't." She lowered her voice. "You ok?"

Xena scuffed her boots a little and her face took on a faintly sheepish
look. "Fine.. I'm fine.. just.. thinking." She turned her head to eye Eponin’s half-slumped form, then eyed the clouds. "Gonna be a long day."

Gabrielle considered that. "Yeah… " She moved a bit closer. "Mind if I use your shadow?" Xena grinned down at her. "Always glad to help." She drawled.

The sun had crossed midpoint and more before Xena sensed the far off welcome scent of running water on the hot wind brushing her skin. "Let’s move off this way." She nudged Argo’s shoulder, and the mare lifted her head, spreading her nostrils and snorting a little. "Yeah.. I smell it.. we’re going." Gabrielle glanced that direction. "Water?" She caught the relieved look on Solari and Johan’s face. Both were sweating liberally, and looked frazzled by the heat. "Good idea."

The warrior nodded. "Yeah.. it’s the first I’ve spotted.. sorry." She gave everyone an apologetic look. "We’ll rest a while here. " She led them across an overgrown patch of tall grasses, scattering a flock of small birds in her path, and brushing away clouds of lazily swarming midges that caused Argo to shake her head, and lash out with her tail. The mare smelled the nearing water though, and picked up her pace, as they ducked under a fringe of thick trees which lined a shallow, but fairly fast flowing stream that slithered between rocks and fallen logs, about four horse lengths wide.

Xena knelt at the side of the stream, and dipped a hand in, lifting it up and sniffing, then poking her tongue into the water. She dropped her hand and nodded. "Ok.. come on." She moved to Argo’s side and helped Solari ease Eponin down out of the saddle, and onto the thick grass that grew along the stream. The mare shook her head, and walked eagerly to the edge of the water, extending her neck and slurping with enthusiasm.

"I’ll second that." Gabrielle sighed, setting her staff down and joining the horse, dipping her hand into the water and raising it to her lips to drink. The water was cold from the shade and the nearness of its source, and sweet and she swallowed handfuls of it gratefully, looking up as Xena knelt next to her and filled a waterskin. "You look pretty toasty." She noted the flush on her partner’s normally dark face, and the waves of heat that were radiating from her body. "Make sure you get some water, OK?"

Blue eyes lifted to hers, and a faint twinkle appeared. "Yes, mom."

Gabrielle dropped her gaze and blushed. "Sorry." She apologized quietly.

"Don’t be." Xena’s voice floated over, and a hand pressed hers for an instant before the warrior was gone. She lifted her head, and watched as her partner crossed to where Eponin was leaning against a tree with a deep scowl on her face. She was arguing faintly with Solari, who looked up at Xena in frustrated appeal as the warrior neared. "What’s wrong?"

Solari pushed the hair off her sweating forehead. "I'm gonna get Ephiny for this." She muttered, as she took the waterskin from the taller woman and offered it to Eponin. "You’re going to drink this, or else."

Eponin gave her a weary look. "So I can send it right back up? Get out of my face, Solari. I’m not putting anything in there the way I feel." She jumped a little as Xena dropped to an armored knee at her side, and rested her bracered forearms against her thigh. "Look, Xena, I…" She stopped speaking as her eyes met the warrior’s and she saw the quiet intense look.

"Eponin, you need to try and sip a little." Xena said patiently. "I know you’re feeling pretty sick, but you need water… so do us both a favor, and give it a try, huh?" "

Or?" The Amazon stuck her lip out stubbornly.

"Or I’m going to have to make it an order. " Gabrielle’s voice gently floated over the warrior’s shoulder. "Don’t make me pull rank, ok?"

Eponin gave her an evil glare. "Ephiny does the same thing to me." She turned a grudging look to Xena’s face, and took the waterskin from Solari’s outstretched hand, nodding her head in Gabrielle’s direction. "Does she do that to you, too?"

Xena ducked her head, and smiled. "Nope.. she doesn’t have to. I know she knows what’s good for me, and I just do it." She heard the soft snort behind her and raised an eyebrow. "Most of the time, anyway." She felt a warm hand settle on her shoulder and the brush of Gabrielle’s knee against her side. "Don’t I?"

The bard kept her holding her breath for a moment, then laughed. "Mostly, yeah." She acknowledged. "So why don’t you go get a drink, come to think of it?" She nudged the warrior in the ribs gently. That got her a sideways look that was half chagrin and half amusement, but Xena rose without comment and trudged over to the stream, dropping down next to it and dipping cupped hands into the cold water.

Gabrielle watched her go with a contented smile, then turned her attention back to Eponin, realizing suddenly that everyone was looking at her. "What?"

Johan chuckled, and crossed his arms, directing his attention out over the field, as Solari cleared her throat and Eponin just rolled her eyes.

"What?" The bard repeated, putting her hands on her hips and gazing at them.

Xena let the bard’s voice drift past her, as she first drank, then rubbed her arms with the stream’s contents. The heat was getting more oppressive, and her weather sense told her that the building pressure was going to result sooner or later in a storm. She’d rather it was later.. memory told her there wasn’t much shelter this side of the mountains, and she really didn’t want to try and build a temporary one out here. With a sigh, she dipped her hand in the water, and lifted it out, pressing it to the back of her neck as she tried to ignore the pounding headache she’d gotten from the heat.

"How far do you think we can make it today?" Gabrielle asked, as she appeared next to her and crouched down, dabbling her fingertips in the water. "Everyone’s really not doing too well in this heat."

"I know." Xena sighed. "We’ll run up against weather later.. I’d like to get at least a little further out of these flatlands before we try and find shelter.. and we don’t have a whole lot of supplies." She scooped more water over her neck. "Damn, it is hot… hey!" Water droplets hit her, and she blinked.

"Yep.. you do look overheated." The bard teased very gently, sprinkling her again.

"Gabrielle… hey!" Xena closed her eyes as a handful of water headed her way. "Whoa.. " She spluttered, shaking her head to remove the moisture from her eyes. "Hey.. I wasn’t that hot."

More water. "Gabrielle!" The warrior growled. "What are you doing?"

"Playing with you." Came the very quiet, and very wistful response. The bard ceased her antics, and sighed. "Sorry."

Xena blinked at the dejected set of her partner’s shoulders and took a breath, then a second. "No.. it’s.. um. It’s all right, Gabrielle… I just didn’t…"

"Yeah." The bard stood and walked off, wiping her face hurriedly. "I.. just forgot for a minute."

"Gabrielle." The warrior called softly. The footsteps stopped, then slowly returned a long instant later until she could feel the bard’s warmth at her back again. She patted the ground next to her, and felt a tiny thread of encouragement when Gabrielle settled down cross-legged on the grass. "I.. can we start this over again?"

"Start what?" The bard asked quietly, playing with a bit of green stalk,

"This." Xena flicked a bit of water at her.

Gabrielle jerked in surprise, then blinked as a blob hit her nose. "Uh…" A hesitant smile creased her lips. "You don’t have to do that." She glanced behind them, to where their three companions were relaxing in the shade, eyes closed. "Yahhh!" A splash drenched her shoulder, and she whipped her head back, and dove for the water. "You.. you… "

Splash. "Xena!" She swept her arm through the liquid, launching a wave at her smiling companion. "Whoops." It was more than she expected, and drenched the surprised warrior. "Eeek. Sorry."

Xena glanced down at herself. "That felt pretty good, actually." She muttered.

"Yeah?" Gabrielle inquired innocently.

The warrior nodded. "Yeah." "Good."

The bard lunged forward suddenly, and gave her a powerful shove, knocking Xena off balance and tumbling her into the cheerfully burbling stream. "Oh… damn." Gabrielle could have slapped herself. "I can’t believe I did that."

Long silence, then a splash as Xena surfaced, and shook her head to clear the wet hair out of her eyes. She kept her eyes glued on the bard as she got her feet under her and stood, walking forward until she was up to her knees in the water.

Gabrielle leaned back on her hands, staring up at six feet of dripping wet, leather covered warrior. "Well." She bit her lip. "You look cooler, now?"

Xena put her hands on her hips. "Oh yeah." She looked the bard up and down. "Do you know how long it’s going to take me to dry all this stuff?"

Gabrielle considered the question. "You’d feel better if you weren’t wearing that anyway." She offered, spreading her arms out and indicating herself. "Really."

The warrior sighed, and trudged the rest of the way out of the water, starting to strip off her leather armor with a mock martyred air. "Argo’s gonna kill me. She hates carrying this stuff." She muttered, as the bard stood, and helped with the buckles on the metal. "Ow.. thanks." She ducked her head as Gabrielle pulled her armor over her head, then grinned a little and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and hugged her close.

"Augh." The bard groaned. "Xena.. you’re…"

"Wet, yes. I noticed." The warrior agreed. "Now you are too." She released the bard and stepped back, observing the now damp fabric and the glistening sheen of moisture across her partner’s bare midriff. "You look much cooler now."

They looked at each other, and paused, then started chuckling. "Ok…ok.. " Gabrielle waved a hand. "I deserved that." She hoisted the armor over her shoulder, and went to Argo’s bags, pulling out a piece of linen and turning. "You.. want a shirt or…"

Xena considered. "No.. " She glanced down at herself. "No clips for the sword.. I’d better.. . " She joined the bard at the mare’s side and dug inside a pouch. "This’ll do." She pulled out her padded gambeson and shook it out. "Cooler, anyway."

Gabrielle nodded, and pulled out some of their travel rations, then wandered over to where the rest of their party was relaxing and joined them under the tree.

Solari opened an eye and peered at her. "You two finished?"

"Finished what?" Gabrielle asked, innocently. "We were just getting a drink."

The eyeball rolled and disappeared.

They pushed on, regaining the road, and heading towards the distant range of mountains, trying their best to ignore the sultry waves of heat that rolled over them as the wind dropped and it became very still.

"Xena." Gabrielle's voice broke the oppressive silence, hours later.

"Mmm?" The warrior turned her head slightly and raised an eyebrow.

The bard pushed a damp strand of hair back from her face. "I think we need to stop." She said in a low tone, casting a glance back at the trudging Solari and Johan. "I know I feel like Hades, I can just imagine how they feel."

Xena studied her, noting the flushed skin. "Yeah… I know.. I've been looking for a place for the last hour." She replied softly, flicking her eyes to the building clouds. "I think I hear water off to the left there.. maybe there'll be some place we can find shelter in."

She led Argo off the path again, though a meadow of sparse scrub growth, as a distant roll of thunder rumbled overhead. As they passed deeper into the thin fringe of trees, a sparse breeze picked up, and gusted around them, bringing the distinctive tang of rain to Xena's sensitive nose. "Oh boy." She muttered. "We're trying to find shelter here… otherwise it's gonna be a wet night." This in a louder voice for everyone's benefit.

"Great." Solari stretched aching shoulders, and came up on the other side of Argo. "Hot and wet. Just how I love to spend my time."

"Funny.. " Eponin managed a weak chuckle from her perch on Argo's high back. "That's what I heard."

Johan cleared his throat, while Gabrielle laughed softly. "Pony… " The bard scolded her, seeing the smirky grin on her partner's face. "You're mean."

Solari blushed a brick red. "Just you wait." She muttered through her teeth at her sister Amazon. "I'll get you for that."

Xena ducked her head under Argo's neck. "I think she meant it as a compliment." The warrior commented dryly, then a tiny mischievous spark lit her blue eyes. "On the other hand..I seem to remember…"

"Ah ah ah.." Eponin slapped Xena's cloth covered shoulder with the end of Argo's reins. "You promised not to say anything about that."

Solari's ears perked up. "About what?"

Xena shrugged. "Sorry..she's right." She pulled her head back under the mare's neck, and continued to walk forward, aware of the tiny snicker coming from Gabrielle, but he momentary good mood vanished as the memories stirred by Eponin's reminder played out and she remembered Solon's part in them.

Gabrielle felt the change immediately, and moved closer, settling a hand on the small of the warrior's back, and rubbing gently. She opened her mouth to speak, then changed her mind and remained silent. What can I say to her? I know what she's remembering. She certainly doesn't want to hear words of comfort on that subject from me.

But the warrior responded to the gentle touch, and moved closer, sliding an arm around Gabrielle's shoulders and letting it rest there as they walked, and the silence seemed suddenly more friendly.

They got lucky, Gabrielle realized, when they forced their way through a thick clump of ground hugging trees and spotted the sound they'd been heading towards. A small waterfall, over a granite outcropping that thrust its way out of the ground, complete with overhangs large enough to shelter them in. "Good pick. " She whispered, giving her partner a quiet look.

Xena returned a brief smile, and ruffled her hair. "Thanks." She replied, then motioned towards the rocks. "Let's find the deepest place under there… I think that one spot.." Her hand gestured. "Might be big enough."

Gabrielle helped Solari get Eponin down off Argo, and they walked under the heavy granite shelf. "She's right." The bard murmured to herself, as they settled the Amazon against the back wall. "Here.." She handed Eponin the waterskin she'd had slung over her shoulder. "Try to get some of this in you before we all end up with it on the outside."

Eponin took the leather bag, and gave her a weary smile as she sipped on it. "Sorry I'm being such a pain in the butt." The Amazon sighed. "Like you needed more problems."

The bard managed a slight smile. "Story of our lives, Pony.. don't worry about it." She put a hand against the Amazon's forehead. "How are you feeling?" She watched Eponin take a breath to answer and held up a finger. "No centaur poop with me, Pony… remember who I live with. If she can't fool me, you can't."

The caramel colored eyes blinked, then dropped their gaze to the waterskin she was holding. "Yeah… " The Amazon put her head back against the granite. "This damn dizziness is getting worse, and my vision keeps blurring." She answered very quietly. "And I'm still sick to my stomach." She searched Gabrielle's face. "Honest enough?"

The bard nodded a little. "OK." She tucked her folded cloak behind the Amazon's head, and shook out a blanket to lie over her, casting a glance back over her shoulder to where Xena was getting Argo settled, and pulling down supplies for the night. "Just take it easy… Xena will know what to do." She finished tucking the blanket around Eponin's shoulders, and met the older woman's eyes. "You're going to be fine."

Eponin gave her a hesitant smile. "Or else?"

Gabrielle smiled back. "Or else." She confirmed, then gave her a pat on the leg, and stood, dodging around Solari's busy form as the Amazon brought wood in to keep dry before the storm hit, and broke out their own small cache of supplies. "I think we're scrounging for dinner.. hunting in this weather's not a good idea."

Solari nodded. "Right.. I figured.. " She rooted around in her pack. "I've got some dried stuff…we'll make do."

Johan looked up from his own supplies. "Aye.. I've got a bit of this and that wi me as well… we'll manage."

The bard gave them both a grateful smile. "I'll get what we have… it'll be fun. " She crossed to where Argo's saddle bags had been offloaded, and paused, seeing her partner standing at the edge of the overhang, one hand resting lightly on the rock. She changed course and stepped up behind her, looking out at the waterfall and its pool, whose colors had deepened with the onset of the weather, as the clouds filtered the rich sunlight. "It's pretty." She commented, glancing up at Xena's silent face. "We're going to scrounge for dinner… Solari's got firewood, and we've got Eponin settled."

The warrior turned and gave her a slightly embarrassed look. "Thanks.. I'm… I'm sorry..I didn't mean to just drift off on you like that…" She looked at the dark earth floor. "I.. um…"

Gabrielle reached out and took her hand, interlacing their fingers. "It's ok." She replied. "Listen..I'm a little worried about Pony.. she said she still feels sick, and she keeps getting dizzy."

Xena blew out a breath. "Yeah.. I kind of figured." She chewed her lip. "It's… when you get hurt inside, like that… it's not… Gabrielle, you remember when I got hurt, that last time, before we left home?"

Home. That triggered a rush of warm memories that the bard closed her eyes against. "Yes." She finally said, looking back up at her partner. "Your head, you mean."

Xena nodded. "Yeah… remember you had to open the stitches… it got closed up, and the pressure was really hurting me?"

Gabrielle winced. "I'd rather not remember that part."

A hand lifted and stroked her cheek. "Sorry." Xena sighed. "But… when you get hurt inside, like Eponin is, there's no way to release that pressure.. and it causes problems."

The bard thought about that. "Oh." She gave a little nod of comprehension. "So.. what do you do?"

The warrior raised both eyebrows and shook her head. "Rest… keep her quiet.. let her sleep when she can..you pretty much have to let your body deal with it." Her eyes met Gabrielle's squarely. "If it can."

Gabrielle felt a chill travel down her spine. "You mean sometimes it can't?"

"Sometimes." Xena replied honestly. "Head wounds are like that."

A long breath. "I see." Gabrielle considered that, then looked back up. "You get hit in the head all the time. How come you never told me that before?"

Silence. "Right." The bard shook her head. "Well, anyway… I've got stuff to.."

"Gabrielle." Xena's voice sounded tired. "I just didn't want to worry you." Her eyes begged apology. "I've tried to be better about that."

"Yeah, I know." The bard relented, reluctantly. "I don't feel that bad.. you do it with everyone.. I just wish you could understand it worries me more when I don’t know, but I think something's wrong." She looked up. "I'm not 'everyone' Xena… you're a part of me." A wistful smile. "I.. I need to know."

A pained smile crossed her partner's face. "You have no idea how good it makes me feel.. that you still want to know, Gabrielle." She admitted with a soft sigh. "I'll try to do a better job on that." They gazed at each other for a long moment, then Gabrielle's face relaxed in a relieved grin, and triggered a like response from her partner.

The first drops of rain spattered down, driven by the wind against the leaves.

The tiny fire danced fitfully in the gusts of moist, cool air as they gathered what supplies they had to share for dinner. It was, Gabrielle reflected, an eclectic mix, comprised of several types of dried meat, a veritable picnic of dried fruits, some hard cheese, and hot mint tea supplied from Xena's kit. She would have preferred some hot soup, but.. Her eyes flicked to the downpour just outside that was driving a soft, damp mist over all of them. I'll cope.

They were all leaning back against the granite wall, as far from the edge of the overhang as they could get. The mist brought a heavy scent of black earth with it, along with the raw smell of bruised vegetation, mingled with the musky odor from the moss that lined the rock they were huddled under. Eponin was on the far inside, furthest away from the opening, with Solari seated next to her, then Johan.

Gabrielle was snuggled between the trader and her partner, who had taken the outermost spot, and was suffering the dampness with her typically stoic expression. They were sharing a mug of hot tea, and she lifted the cup to Xena's lips and watched as she sipped some. "You're getting wet."

The warrior cast a resigned glance over her damp shoulder and sighed. "Yeah." She had half turned, to protect Gabrielle from the rain, and rested her head against the rock wall with a grunt. "I'll live."

Gabriele gave her another sip, and reached up to feed her a nibble of cheese. "Martyr." She teased gently, as the warrior accepted the tidbit, and chewed it.

A dark eyebrow cocked. "You want to sit on the outside and get wet?"

The bard gave her an impish grin. "Nope." She let her eyes drift to her right. "How's Pony doing?" She lowered her voice, though the two Amazons appeared to have dozed off.

"Not great." The warrior replied in the same low tone. "I gave her some stuff in her tea to relax her, and get her real calm. That helps sometimes." Her brow acquired a worried crease. "Wish there was more… I don't know, Gabrielle..I"d say stop for a healer, but there's not much in this part of the world.. I think the closest we'd find something is either home or the Amazon village itself."

The bard considered this. "What are the chances of running into a healer better than you anyway?" She asked reasonably. "They might have a few more supplies, but you said yourself there isn't much you can do, right?"

Xena gazed out into the rain. "Yeah." She replied. "But that doesn't stop me from wanting to try."

Gabrielle smiled, and offered her a piece of dried lamb. "Here." She watched the warrior chew, idly enjoying the play of the firelight against the movement of her face. A sparkle caught her eye, and she let her gaze drift downward to where the crystal lay twinkling against the warrior's dark skin, half hidden under the fabric of her gambeson.

She had to lean closer to see it, and somehow she ended up snuggled into Xena's arms, unsure of exactly how she got there, but not really caring, once her body had found its familiar warm place tucked against the warrior's. She played with the pendant, and with her own, fitting them together in idle contentment as a drowsy peace settled over her. "Hey…."

"Hmm?" Xena's voice burred against her forehead, which was pressed up near the warrior's throat.

"Did you put some of that stuff in our tea, too?" She asked, feeling a more than normal sense of relaxation invade her body.

"Hmmph.." The warrior let a tiny chuckle sound against her skin. "Nope… why?"

"Mmm… must just be you, then." Gabrielle theorized, watching the last light fade out, leaving them only in firelit shadows, with the drumming pattern of the rain thundering around them. Thunder made its irregular presence known, and flashes of fitful lightning lit up the glade outside into gray shadows, hidden by the sheets of falling water.

Gabrielle felt her breathing settle, and slow, and gradually match Xena's until they were in rhythm with each other as they sat there in a peaceful silence. The steady sounds to her right indicated their other three companions were sound asleep, and she knew she was headed that way herself, as the soothing patter of the rain lulled her into a dreamy contentment.

But she resisted, because it felt so nice to be right where she was, safe in Xena's arms, watching the storm outside.

Safe. There was that word again. Hadn't she decided there wasn't any safe places anymore? She examined how she felt carefully, and came to the conclusion that right now, at this moment, in this place… she felt pretty darn safe.

That felt really good. She smiled, a movement of muscles against the fabric-covered shoulder she was leaning on. "Know something?" She tilted her head up, seeing most of Xena's profile in shadow, save the soft glints as the firelight reflected from her pale eyes.

"What?" The warrior rumbled softly.

A soft sigh. "I still like rainy days."

The fire reflected suddenly off white teeth as that brought a grin to Xena's face. "Me too."

This time the kiss was longer, and held no surprises., but was undemanding on either of them, more an affirmation than an invitation to go further. Which, Gabrielle mused sleepily as she let the rain lull her. Was.. all right. For now.

They had time.

You know. Xena quietly reflected. After a night of sleeping on hard granite, in the rain, after a day spent baking in the sun, I shouldn't feel this good. But she did, illogically enough, which she discovered as she let her eyes blink open just before dawn.

The dampness, the granite, and the sunburn were still there, but somehow the fact that she had Gabrielle curled up in her arms made that all kind of irrelevant.

It made a lot of things irrelevant. It gave her a reason to wake up at all, which she hadn't had for.. quite a while. She had gotten up to face the day only because she really didn't have a choice, and because getting up to face reality was actually a lot better than spending time in her dreams.

Her nightmares, more accurately.

Now mornings were.. She smiled wistfully as Gabrielle shifted, and nestled closer. Well, at least it didn't hurt to open her eyes anymore. To see cold, shuttered suspicion in a face that had once been so open to her. No longer trust, but wariness had marked the bard's gaze in her direction, where she'd always found a gentle warmth before. Remembering that look hurt, and she doggedly locked the memory away with the rest of her bad ones.

Slowly, tentatively, she could feel the threads which bound them together being tightened, as they worked their way along a very long, and very narrow road back towards each other. She knew she didn't deserve a second chance at this, but… she figured.. maybe Gabrielle did, and she was just lucky enough to be along for the ride.

And that was ok. She'd take what she could get, and just not think about the future. Look where that had gotten her this time, right? Just.. one day at a time, Xena…remember how that goes? Don't look back, don't look forward, just.. live.

Maybe someday there would be a tomorrow again. But she wasn't counting on it. Right now, all she was counting on was the fact that it was morning, and it was done raining, and her soulmate was once again back in the place reserved for her alone.

Gabrielle stirred again, and her eyes opened, blinking sleepily as she yawned and looked up. "Morning." She winced as she flexed her back. "Ouch." An annoyed look at the rock. "Granite, bed, not a good combination." Then she patted the fabric-covered surface she was resting against and smiled. "Guess I should stop complaining though…"

Xena gave her a tiny grin, then shifted and slid her hands around to the bard's back, beginning a slow massage against the stiffened muscles she found there. "And you're used to walking.. imagine the kind of complaining we're gonna get when everyone else wakes up." This in a bare whisper meant for the bard's ears only.

Gabrielle winced comically. "Ooo.. you're right." She relaxed blissfully against Xena's warm body as the warrior's hands did their work. Then her head tilted. "Xena… please.. no comments about Amazons and conditioning.. I don't wanna be arbitrating that all the way to the village."

She felt rather than heard the soft chuckle. "Ok..ok… I.. don't want to antagonize anyone else." Xena replied wryly. "It's going to be bad enough as it is."

The bard chewed over that. "You're preparing yourself for the worst, aren't you?" The strong hands paused, then continued, and she felt Xena sigh. "We'll make it a short stay." Gabrielle promised. "I really want to make sure they get home ok."

"I know." Her partner reassured her. "I do too… it's' gonna be all right, Gabrielle.. nothing I haven't faced before."

"Mph." The bard's warm breath gusted against her chest. "I guess.. it's just that it's been hard enough. I don't want to make it any harder." She looked up. "Especially not now.. I.. I like the direction we're going in.. I feel really comfortable with it."

That earned her a real grin. "I am too." Xena gave her a kiss on the forehead and a hug. "We'd better get moving…" She studied the dawn outside. "It's gonna be hot again, and the earlier we start, the faster we'll go until the worst of it hits."

"Well." The bard snorted softly, releasing her. She let Xena rise, wincing as she heard the pops as the warrior flexed her shoulders. "Ugh." She stood herself and stretched. "We could have gotten a quick start yesterday, but someone.. and I won't mention any names here, someone just let me laze around in bed all morning." She walked out from under the overhang, and into the dawn, with Xena ambling behind her. The bard stopped, and leaned against the rock, gazing thoughtfully at the tumbling waterfall that was burbling in the clearing, picking up glints of the sun's first rays.

Xena studied her face, noting that the dark circles under her eyes were almost faded to nothing, and there was a hint of a lost, familiar sparkling starting to come back into the mist green eyes gazing at her. "Time well spent, Gabrielle." She said quietly, stroking the soft skin of her cheek with an idle thumb.

The bard leaned into the contact. "I think I've slept more in the last three days than in the last three months." She admitted, shaking her head. "Xena, it must have been Dahok. How could we have been so blind to each other?" She let out a sigh. "How could I have been so blind to this… need…that I have for you, that runs so deep…" She closed her eyes and soaked in the warmth she could feel between them.

"He… knew exactly which buttons to push.. " Xena replied softly. "Exactly which insecurities to take advantage of… he played us very accurately, Gabrielle." She paused grimly. "Very accurately." She sighed. "Hate is a very, very strong force."

"So.. what went wrong?" The bard asked, soberly. "If he was so smart, and so accurate, why didn't it work all the way?"

The warrior hugged her quietly. "He forgot that there is only one thing stronger than hate, Gabrielle." He mouth quirked. "And that's love." She felt the bard's breathing catch. "He tried to make me hate you, thinking that would set free my dark side… and he needs that." She leaned back against the rock and watched the first pink hint of dawn color the rich foliage outside. "And it fits my pattern, doesn't it? I've always destroyed anyone who .."

"Betrayed you." Gabrielle finished for her. "I know." She played with a buckle on the gambeson. "So what stopped you?"

Xena gazed at her. "In this case, it would have been destroying myself, and I knew that." She let her fingers tangle in Gabrielle's hair. "He never counted on the fact that I never stopped loving you."

"Never?" Gabrielle looked her right in the eye, with total honestly.

The warrior gave her the look right back. "Never." She paused. "There were times when I wished I had.. it would have hurt less. It almost killed me."

Gabrielle felt something loosen deep inside her, and float free, a binding she hadn't even been aware of having been there. "That's how it was for me, too. Just an incredible amount of pain." She looked up and gave her partner a gentle pat on the side. 'But we made it through."

Xena nodded a little. "Yeah.. we did, didn't we?" She paused awkwardly, then cleared her throat. "I'm.. ' She gestured towards the waterfall. "Gonna go take advantage of clean water and some soap."

The bard ducked her head and crossed her arms, gaining a great interest in a small bush at her feet momentarily. "Um." She looked up a trifle shyly. "Mind some company?"

A brief, relaxed grin rewarded her. "Not at all."

They ducked back under the ledge, and Gabrielle padded silently over to their gear, pulling out towels and soap while Xena built up the small fire, and set a pot of water on to heat. She knelt briefly beside Eponin, and checked her, then nodded to herself a little and rose, joining the bard at the entrance to their shelter.

It was a short walk down to the base of the waterfall, where the water was picking up the early morning light in quiet sparkles, as the falling liquid filled the small glade with happy chuckling. Xena shucked her gambeson, and headed into the water, standing under the pounding pressure and letting it ease the aches from her. After a long moment of that, she continued through the spray, until she was on the inside of the fall, and pressed her back against the moss covered rock while she looked out.

A silvery splash, and the water curtain was parted by Gabrielle's body, as the bard joined her, pushing her now wet hair back off her forehead, and leaned back next to her in silence. The sun's rays caught the water in front of them, scattering miniature rainbows everywhere, with colors dancing across them and over the mossy rock. "Wow." The bard laughed. "I think there's a poem in this somewhere."

Xena smiled, and started to work with her soap, standing as she was in the waist high water, scrubbing off the mud from the previous day. She'd gotten halfway up one arm when the soap was very gently taken from her fingers.

"Mind if I do that?" Came the soft question.

A thousand reasons to say yes clustered in her mind. "No." Was what came out. Then she portioned the soap in two and faced Gabrielle. "Not unless you do."

Gabrielle shook her head and stepped closer, starting on the arm where Xena had left off, while the warrior used her other arm to start washing the bard's shoulders. "You're all over mud." Gabrielle commented, trying for nonchalance when she realized both of them were really nervous.

"Um.. yeah.. " Xena ducked her head to one side a little. "Always dirty behind your ears, Gabrielle.. what is it with you?"

"I figured that out." The bard responded, scrubbing the stains where her armor had marked her. "It's from putting my hair back behind my ears with my hands."

"Oh." Xena chuckled a bit. "Yeah.. that makes sense." She washed further. "Back of your neck got sunburned." She threaded her fingers through the damp pale hair and moved it out of her way, hearing the bard's sudden intake of breath. "Sorry.. did I hurt you?"

"No." Came the quiet, breathed, response. "Just a little ticklish there I guess." She let her soapy hands slide down Xena's sides, and across her ribs, feeling the muscles move under her fingertips as the warrior's arms slipped around to get her back. "Hey.. you're too tall."

Xena obligingly stepped a pace deeper into the pool, bringing their heads to almost level. "Better?" The warrior inquired.

Those blue eyes within inches of hers. "No." Gabrielle smiled sheepishly. "But I'll.. um.. .I'll cope." She moved her hands up around Xena's neck, and hesitated when he fingers touched the marks left from the stocks in Chin.

"It's all right." Her partner gently reassured her. "They don't hurt, and they're fading."

The bard smiled a little, and tightened her jaw, then washed the area with a look of quiet introspection. She continued down the sloping, powerful neck muscles, then out and across her broad shoulders. "How's your arm feel?" The skin under her hands rippled and moved as Xena flexed the limb in question.

"Not bad.. just a little stiff." The warrior replied, gently soaping the bard's breasts, and watching her chest stop moving entirely. She let that go on for a minute, then smiled quietly to herself. 'Breathe." She murmured gently to the bard.

"Sorry." Gabrielle's mouth twitched. "I was… really worried.. um.. after all that's happened, and… that I wasn't going to be able to.. " She stopped, and felt a blush coming on. "Wasn't going to be able to be physically attracted to.. or anyone.. and um.. I.. I'm finding out.. uh.. that's not the case."

Xena kept her voice even. "I kinda figured."

"What clued you in?" Gabrielle focused her eyes on the warrior's collarbone.

Her partner glanced down, to where the bard's hands were. "Oh.. little things."

Gabrielle realized what she was doing and bit off a flustered giggle. "Gods.. sorry." She continued her soaping further, looking at her partner seriously. "You've lost a lot of weight."

Xena glanced down. "So have you." She gently passed her fingers over the faint scars from the bard's violent childbirth. "Your hips still bothering you?" Put through the ordeal long before her body was ready to cope with it, the bard had been in agony as her body reacted on the trip home from Britannia.

"A little." Gabrielle quietly admitted. "My back, a little." She reached up and started washing the warrior's dark hair. "Stuff didn't taste like anything.. I just lost interest, I guess."

"Yeah." Xena sighed. "About the same." She ran soapy fingers through the red gold locks, and massaged her scalp gently. "I think you need a little pampering."

Gabrielle was suddenly aware of their closeness. "I think you do, too." She deliberately stepped forward, bringing them into contact, and wrapped her arms around her partner's neck, drawing her head down. She let the rush of the water take her out of the present for a few minutes, then suddenly felt Xena's body shift, and lunge, whirling them both around. "Whoa!" She yelped, as they separated, and Xena brought her arm around and displayed the arrow clenched in her fist.

The bard's eyes popped. "Someone's shooting at us?"

Xena examined the tip, which had been shorn of its arrowhead, and had a bit of linen wrapped around it to soften the edge. "Um… I think someone's trying to get our attention."

They both looked at each other. "I see." Gabrielle laughed, as she backed off, and ducked her head under to remove the soap. "We could make them come in here after us."

"I could carry you out of here with that thing sticking out of your chest." Xena countered. "Guarantee that'll shake em up."

Gabrielle plucked the arrow from her hand, and tapped her on the chest with the feathered end. "Not nice, Xena.. you'd be treating them for heart failure."

The warrior ducked her head, and sighed. "All right.. listen, you go placate Solari, and I'll.. " Here she glanced off into the other direction. "I'll go find some berries or something to add to our breakfast."

Gabrielle twirled the arrow in her fingertips. "OK… I'd kinda like that."

"Yeah?" Xena leaned over backwards, and ducked her head under the water, then straightened up and ran her hands through her dark hair, wringing it partially dry.

The bard's eyes had taken on a sultry look as she watched, and she sighed, and rubbed them. "Yeah… too bad there aren't any.. '" She glanced around into the water. "I'm a little… " The water rippled and then she was captivated by the slivers of bright sunlight dappling Xena's skin. "Um.. hungry."

"No problem." Xena dove through the waterfall, and into the pool, and disappeared. Gabrielle watched the wavelets from her exit, then shook her head a little, and trudged through the thundering water, immediately spotting Solari's arms crossed posture on the edge of the land.

"Morning." She waded purposefully towards where she'd left her clothes, sloshing out of the water just to the left of where the Amazon was standing, and wrapped a towel around herself. She handed Solari back her arrow. "I think this is yours?"

The Amazon took the arrow. "Where's Xena?"

The wild eruption of water didn't faze the bard as she calmly laced up her halter-top. "Getting breakfast." She looked up to see Solari's expression and bit her lip to keep from laughing. She turned and spotted her partner, lifting herself out of the water with those powerful strides, backlit by the morning sun, looking every inch the feral, primitive hunter with a fish clenched in each hand. "See?"

Solari closed her eyes, then shook her head. "Xena, we've got a problem."

The warrior waded ashore and whacked the two fish together to quiet them. "What's up?"

"It's Eponin." The Amazon's face scrunched. "She thinks she's a flower."

Continued in Part 3

Standard Disclaimer - These characters, most of them, belong to Universal, and Renaissance Pictures, and whoever else has a stake in Xena: Warrior Princess. This is written just in fun, and no copyright infringement was intended.

Specific Story Disclaimers:

Violence – Violence - yes, there will be violence of a moderately graphic nature in this story.

Emotional distress - I have to put in a disclaimer here for this, because this story, unlike most of my other stories, is an extremely dark one. There is not a whole lot of humor here, and most everyone ends up not being happy through most of the story. IF you're looking for a warm and fuzzy tale, this ain't it. You might want to give this one a miss.

Subtext - As in all my stories, this one is based on the premise of two people who are very much in love with each other. They happen to both be women. There is no graphically depicted action here.. but if the thought of this gives you a problem, find a different story to read. There are lots of very good general fiction Xena stories that can be found on Xeno's page.

I'm not offering any goodies for the phobes this time round. But if you feel like I've beaten you over the head with angst in this one, then send me your snail mail address, and I'll forward over some Girl Scout Original Mint cookies, and some milk. That always makes me feel better.

 Any and all comments are always welcome. You can email them to:

 mailto:merwolf@bellsouth.net

Darkness Falls - Part 3

By Melissa Good

"A flower?" Xena repeated, hesitantly. "Oh boy." She handed the fish to Solari. "Hold these." She shook her head and started to stride past her, when she was stopped by the bard's voice.

"Xena?"

"Yea…oof." Her gambeson hit her in the chest. "Thanks."

"You've got a woman up there that thinks she's a flower, you showing up naked isn't going to help matters any." Gabrielle commented dryly, then paused. "At least I don't think it will."

Xena got caught flatfooted, and just blinked at her for a long moment, then issued a hesitant grin. "Right." She mumbled, as she pulled the padded garment on over her body, and fastened the straps, then started up towards the overhang at a light jog.

Gabrielle sighed, as she fastened her skirt. "Tell me what's going on , Solari."

The Amazon gingerly held the two fish out from her body, as she followed the bard up towards their shelter. "Not sure, really…I woke up, saw you two were gone.." She gave Gabrielle a sideways glance. "But I saw the fire'd been built up, and water on.. so I figured you hadn't gone far. Anyway… Pony woke up, and started talking about being planted, and sun.. and… is she crazy or something?"

The bard shook her head. "Must be the head wound… Xena's really worried about it. She said something about pressure, and not being able to release it."

Solari grunted. "Ah."

They came up over the slope leading down to the waterfall to see Johan tending the fire, and Xena crouched over the animatedly arguing Eponin. The warrior had a good grip on the Amazon, but Eponin seemed to be trying to… Gabrielle's brow creased. "What's she doing?"

"Pollinating." Solari grumbled. "Something like that."

The bard set their gear down, and crossed to where her partner was working. "Hey."

Xena glanced back over her shoulder. "We got trouble."

"See? It's your fault…always hogging the sun…!" Eponin rambled,. "How're you expecting me to grow with tall things like you around?"

"So I see." Gabrielle rested a hand on her back. "Can you do anything?"

"Hey.. are you a sunflower?" Eponin spotted Gabrielle's fair head. "You're a pretty one." Her eyes drifted back to Xena's face. "I think this one' s a weed."

Gabrielle bit her lip to keep from smiling, despite the seriousness of the situation. "No.. she's not a weed.. she's my tree in the forest." She shared an affectionate look with her partner. "What can we do?"

Xena let out a little sigh, and shook her head. "I think we gotta get her home.. maybe the healers there… at least she'd be in familiar surroundings." She let her eyes roam around the area. "I can put her up with you on Argo.. you'd make it to Amazon country by moonrise if you kept moving."

The bard crossed her arms, and stared at the ground in thought. "Maybe.. but… Xena, I don't think I can… I'd rather you go. If anything happens on the way, you'll have a lot better chance of dealing with it than I will."

That made sense but… "Me showing up in Amazon territory alone, with a raving Eponin is probably not the smartest thing I could do." Xena managed to get a half cupful of herbs down the wounded Amazon's throat. "I'm not real popular there right now."

Gabrielle ruffled her hair a little. "I'll give you a note." She soothed her. "But you're really the best choice to go, and you know it."

"Yeah." Xena muttered to herself. "I know."

They quickly cooked and ate breakfast, then packed up and divided their supplies. "Don't take too long, huh?" Xena said, in a low voice as she tucked her healer's kit inside a saddlebag. "I might need some backup."

Gabrielle paused in her packing, and walked over, resting a hand on Xena's arm. "You're really worried about this." It wasn't a question. "Xena.. take it easy. I know it won't be pleasant, at first.. but once you get a chance to explain what's going on, it'll be fine." She reached up and brushed her fingers against the warrior's jaw, feeling the tension in the muscles under her touch. "They're not bad people.. they're my friends, and yours, remember?"

Were. Xena's mind silently objected. "Yeah.. I know… sorry.. I think I'm just being a little.."

"Pessimistic? As usual?" Gabrielle smiled.

"Something like that, yeah." The warrior admitted. "Listen.. I'll um… I'll drop Eponin off, and come back to get you, all right? You be careful." She played with a lock of the bard's hair and gave it a little tweak. "Promise?"

Gabrielle stepped forward, and reached up, circling her neck with both arms, and drawing her head down to kiss her with quiet confidence. Then she broke off, but didn't let go, just spending a long moment, looking. "I promise." Her tone was very serious. "We've got some unfinished business, you and I, so you be careful, ok?"

That got her a more relaxed grin. "I will.. now, I'd better get Eponin up on Argo before she decides to..um… "

"Grow?" The bard hazarded. "Ugh.. I shouldn't laugh.. it's not funny." But they both smothered grins. "Weed." Gabrielle teased.

One dark eyebrow quirked up. "Sunflower… and you certainly are a pretty one."

The bard caught her breath, at the easy, casual banter. "Thanks." She replied, softly.

Xena's brows creased. "For the compliment?"

A gentle smile. "That too."

Xena glanced up at the westering sun, dropping Argo's reins and using her free hand to push the hair back off her forehead. "Almost there, girl." She encouraged the mare. "I know it's hot… just hang in here with me, ok?"

Argo snorted, and maintained her steady canter. They had been traveling all day, and now, with the sun setting, were approaching the hills that lead up into Amazon territory. If she kept on this road, and bore down towards the river, she'd be headed for Amphipolis, and she gave the fork a brief, wistful glance as she passed it by. Home sounded… damned good right now.

Eponin was slumped over the saddlehorn, kept mostly quiet by repeated doses of calming herbs. Her few moments of consciousness seemed to have left the plant stage behind, but she was still confused, and while she recognized Xena, had no idea where or why she was riding with her. "Hang in there, Pony… almost home." She muttered, taking a better grip on the Amazon's body.

She turned Argo off the road, and headed upland, taking a small, overgrown path that brought her between tall trees, and welcome relief from the sun. "That's better, huh?" She commented, smiling when the mare whickered in response.

It had been a hard ride, with her trying to keep Eponin balanced in the saddle, and the sun beating mercilessly down on top of them, giving her a throbbing headache, as well as the discomfort of the sweat dampening her leathers which was rubbing her skin raw in places.

She'd had time to think, though. Long hours of it, in fact. Time to think about the events of the last couple of days, and time to begin to realize that bits and pieces of her life she'd sworn were scattered to the winds, never to be reassembled, were coming together again.

I'm still her tree in the forest. Xena felt a tiny, wry chuckle force it's way up and out from between dry lips. She's still mine.. it's impossible. No relationship should have been able to withstand what ours just did. None. At best, maybe.. after a long time, we'd have been civil to each other. Maybe.

She glanced at the forest going by, and reached out, plucking a tree borne flower from a passing limb, and sniffing it. We survived. With a tiny shake of her head, she put the flower inside a saddlebag, and pulled out the note Gabrielle had written, tucking it inside her bracer for safekeeping. As she was fastening the flap closed, a faint lump stopped her, and she fumbled inside the pouch again, freezing when her fingers touched a small, parchment wrapped bundle.

She drew it out and looked at it, as a slow grin formed, then used her teeth to untie the string holding it closed, and deftly removed the round item within. A granite pebble, from the waterfall. They'd been standing on them while they were bathing, and she'd seen Gabrielle stoop to fish one out, but hadn't thought anything of it. The bard was always picking up things like that.. mementos, she called them.

That meant she'd written this today, probably while she was writing out the note to Ephiny. Xena dropped the pebble into the still open pouch, then spread the parchment open in her fingers and studied it.

Hi.

Wonder when you'll find this? You've been finding stuff really fast lately.. makes me think you might be looking for them. Hmm.. I bet you find it on the way to Amazon territory.

So.. listen, ok?

I know you're scared, and I want you to know how much it means to me that you're going ahead and going there to make sure Pony gets help anyway. I know you don’t want to have to face Ephiny, and I wish this could have waited, or at least I wish I could have gotten to her first and softened her up a little.

But I know you'll be ok, and after we do our good deed, we can head off home, and you can be my moral support when I have to face your mother, and know there are some things that I'm having trouble forgiving myself for, just like you are.

This morning under the waterfall made me realize, again, that together there's nothing we can't do. We're going to make it, Xena… we really are…I can feel it now.

Well, anyway, you're probably busy, so.. be careful, and once and Ephiny stop yelling at each other, tell her I say hello, and I'll see you soon.

Love,

G

Xena smiled, and read it a few times over, then folded it up one handed and tucked it inside her bracer as well. "Hey Pony.. how you doing?" She asked, seeing that the Amazon was stirring.

"Ugh." Came back the answer. "What'd you take me on a boat for?"

"Hey..watch it.. Argo doesn't like to be called names, ok?" The warrior warned wryly. She leaned forward, and caught Eponin's eye, relieved to see a hint of recognition there. "You know where you are?"

Caramel colored eyes roved the area. "In some damn forest." Eponin grumbled. "On top of some damn horse.. sorry Argo.. being strangled by some damn sweaty warrior princess."

"Always nice to be appreciated." Xena remarked, rolling her eyes. "You got any idea what forest we're in?"

Eponin looked around for a minute. "Damn. Yeah, I do." She half turned and gazed up at Xena's face. "What in Hades are we doing here, and where's Solari and Gabrielle?"

"Long story." The warrior advised her.

"I got time." Eponin countered.

"You wanna hear about you being a flower first?" Xena couldn’t resist.

The Amazon gazed at her. "What?"

Xena grinned, then stiffened, all her senses extending out around her. "Well.. it's gonna have to wait."

Eponin looked around, then back at her. "For.. what? You spot a squirrel getting his jollies or something?"

The warrior brought Argo to a halt, and just sat quietly, her hands in plain sight. "We've got company."

The Amazon twisted around and listened, then listened again. "No way." She glanced back at Xena. "Have Gabrielle clean the gook outta those ears sometimes, ok?"

A small shake of he warrior's head. "Three over there, two behind us, four in front of us, and three more off to the side behind that rock escarpment." She paused. "Six of them have bows, and are nocked and extended." Xena muttered quietly.

Eponin stared at her. "No way."

Xena gave her a look, then raised her voice. "All right! C'mon out!!" She kneed Argo, moving the mare over a couple of paces.

Silence, save for the rising breeze from the coming twilight that riffled the leaves around them, and whistled past the bark of the trees.

Then shadowy forms melted into sight, in dappled leathers and ornate masks, weapons ready.

"Son of a Bacchae." Eponin sighed. "All right.. what's your problem?" This to the silent watchers.

Xena felt a heavy weight settle on her shoulders. "Get down, Pony." She gently lifted the surprised Amazon off Argo's back, and let her drop lightly to the ground. "Move away from me."

"But.." Eponin protested.

"Just do it." Came the low, controlled order.

Reluctantly, the Amazon complied, walking towards the largest group of watchers, and as she came even with them, their leader tugged her mask off to reveal the blond curls and pale eyes of Ephiny. "Pony."

They hugged hard, and Ephiny broke off to look her over. "You all right?"

"Mostly." Eponin replied. "Eph, relax.. it's not what it looks like."

Gray eyes bored into hers. "Isn't it?" She turned to the silently waiting Xena. "Keep you hands away from your weapons, and get oft that damn horse, or I'll have them put so many arrows in you that you can't possibly catch them all."

"Eph!" Eponin grabbed her. "Wait a minute.. listen up here, ok?" Her eye was caught by Xena's movement, and she turned, watching the tall warrior kick free of the stirrups, and slide down Argo's tall side.

Xena unclipped the sword on her back, and stowed it under a saddle strap, then hooked her chakram over the saddlehorn and gave Argo a slap. "Gwan. Go find Gabrielle, all right?"

Argo snorted, and glanced dubiously at the Amazon, then shook her head and trotted off. Xena watched her go, and sighed, then turned and faced the Amazons, walking forward until she was in a clear spot, and stopping, then opening her hands up and holding her arms out away from her body. "All right."

"Eph.. " Eponin grabbed her arm. "It's all right… they're all right."

The Amazon regent studied her, then turned her gaze on Xena. She walked forward until she was a body length away from the warrior and stopped. "Where's our Queen?" She could see the twitching fingers on the bowyer's around her and knew one signal from her and not even Xena could stop them.

"About a day behind us." Xena answered quietly. "With Solari." The hostility surrounding her was almost palpable, and she felt a quiet, weary ache at the anger in Ephiny's eyes. "They're fine."

Ephiny looked behind her to Eponin for confirmation, and her shoulders relaxed a little when the older Amazon nodded. Then she turned her attention back to the warrior. "Why?"

A slight gasp from Eponin distracted her, and Ephiny turned, to see the weapons master's skin pale as she wavered. One long stride, and she grabbed her, and supported her with an arm around her shoulders. "What happened? Pony.. what's wrong?"

"She got hit on the head with a battle mace." Xena's voice carried on the wind. "She has a concussion, and I was trying to get her home."

Ephiny glared at her, then turned to the woman in her arms. "Is that true, Pony?"

A weak nod. "Yeah.. town we were in got attacked by raiders… I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time.. got my skull cracked. Woulda been worse except that Xena got me out of there."

Ephiny hesitated, then took a breath. "Is Gabrielle all right?" She breathed into her lover's ear.

"Oh yeah." Eponin patted her side. "She's fine.. " She slid down onto a rock, and rested her elbows on her knees.

The regent nodded, and stared off into the forest for a long, silent moment before she turned and strode back over to where Xena was patiently waiting. Now, Ephiny allowed herself to see the formidable presence as something other than an enemy, and she sighed. "You look like Hades, Xena."

A brief closing of the pale blue eyes was her answer, then the warrior tugged a piece of parchment out from under her bracer and held it out.

Ephiny stepped forward an took it, noting the familiar seal with relief as she broke it open and turned her eyes to the words.

Ephiny,

We've been to Tartarus, but we're back now. Please don't hurt her. I know I should have let you know what was going on, but things just happened so fast, I didn’t' get a chance to.

I'll fill you in as soon as I get there.

Be well,

G

"Short but sweet." The regent muttered, as she folded the parchment up, and tucked it away. "All right.. stand down." She waved at the other Amazons, and called two of them over. "Queen Gabrielle's due through here probably by morning. Give her an escort.. she'll have Solari with her."

The two nodded, and gave Xena a wary look, then trotted off.

Ephiny put her hands on her hips and studied the taller woman. "Come on. No sense in us standing around in a hot forest all day." She turned and started walking, and felt a quiet shadow as Xena fell in behind her. The rest of the Amazons formed around them, two of them supporting Eponin, and they moved off towards the village.

It was a very quiet walk back. Xena kept pace with Ephiny, but didn't offer any conversation, and the regent was equally silent. It was, the warrior sadly reflected, a better greeting that it could have been, since Ephiny could have simply ordered her shot down on sight and given the fact that she had Eponin in her arms, that many arrows would have been past her ability to stop them.

She felt battered by the hostility from the surrounding Amazons, though that really wasn't a unique experience for her. It kind of felt like that first trip home… her mother spurning her, the village lined up getting ready to stone her to death.. it had the same kind of edgy feeling. Only at home, there was that persistent, annoying, blond kid who just got right in the middle of everything and stuck up for her.

Xena glanced down, and tugged the bit of parchment out of her bracer, and folded it into her hand. Darn if that same persistent, annoying, blond kid wasn't in there swinging for her again, huh? It was dark now, and the forest was lit in shifting shadows from the Amazon's torches, throwing Ephiny's profile into sharp, angry relief.

She took a steadying breath. "Ephiny?"

Gray eyes shot to hers in guarded coolness. "Yes?"

Xena felt the pain of all the things she'd ruptured in her life, not the least of which was the deep affection she'd shared with this woman. "I'm sorry about your arm."

Ephiny's gaze raked her. "So am I." She answered back in clipped tones, then stopped, her eyes lighting on something. "Thought you'd lost that."

Xena lifted a hand to touch the necklace, then let the hand drop. "I did.. in Chin. Gabrielle managed to get it back."

They walked on in silence for a few strides. "So.. how is Gabrielle doing? She was in about a thousand pieces the last time I saw her." Ephiny finally asked, a hard edge to her voice.

The warrior sighed. "We both were." She admitted quietly. "She's fine…we've… it's been tough, but we..um… we found our way back, somehow."

Ephiny gave her a very long sideways look. 'I would have laid odds against that"

Xena nodded slowly. "Me too."

"How could you have just left her here?" Ephiny's voice sank to an angry whisper. "There was nothing we could for her, Xena! She was dying!" The Amazon faced her as they were walking. "How could you just leave? Even after all that happened, for Artemis' sake, Xena, she's…" She stopped speaking, and watched her boots kick the leaf litter ahead of her. "She was in so much pain, Xena.. she needed you so badly. How could you have abandoned her like that?"

Xena took her time before answering. Finally, she just shook her head. "I.. there is no answer for that, Ephiny. I don't know how I did it.. if I had been thinking straight, I would have known that." She paused, and an owl hooted. "All I could feel was the pain, and the loss, and the anger."

Ephiny looked at her. "I thought she took a big risk going with you." She glanced ahead of her and sighed. "But then I realized she really didn't have a choice." She shook her head. "She was in a very dark place… and by some joke of the gods, you were the key to her getting out of it."

The warrior thought about that. "That's true." She replied. "We never would have made it apart. Somehow, together we found a way."

"Just like that." Ephiny breathed. "What hold do you have on her, Xena? Answer me that? I told Pony and Solari to get her the Hades away from you.. maybe I could talk some sense into her.. keep her here, let her live in peace for a while."

Even the thought hurt. It got through all her defenses, and past the carefully built wall she'd put up here, in what was for her, enemy territory. It touched on all her insecurities, and the guilt she carried that was never far from the surface, when Gabrielle was involved. She had no answer, so she gave none, and the rest of the walk was completed in silence until they entered the village proper.

"Take her over to the healer's." Ephiny gripped Eponin's hand. "I'll be right over there." She turned and regarded Xena. "I'm going to put you in Gabrielle's quarters. Do me a favor, Xena, ok? Stay put. Don’t wander around in the village.. there's a lot of hard feelings, and I don’t want anyone getting hurt."

"All right." Came the very quiet answer. Xena followed the regent to the Queen's quarters, and passed inside at her gesture. The grass weave door swung shut behind her, and she was in darkness, broken only by the slivers of moonlight coming in through the window. She didn't even bother with a candle, she just went to the back of the hut, and found an empty corner, putting her back to the wall and sliding down it.

Gabrielle.. I'm sorry.. She felt the grief rise and this time didn't stop it. She had no idea how long she just sat there, letting the overflow of emotion pour out of her, until a scuffling sound alerted her senses, and she glanced up.

Yells, a sudden alarm. She hoisted herself to her feet, and lunged for the door, opening it just as a large, dark shape hurdled through it and into her arms.

"Rooo!!!!" Ares yodeled triumphantly. "Roo! Argrrhoorrrrooo!!!" His whole body was squirming with the effort to reach every part of the surprised warrior, who sat down with a thump and hugged the wolf to her.

"Ares.. hey boy.. what are you doing here?" She crooned in his ear.

"Roo!" He licked her face with enthusiasm., his tail thrashing wildly behind him.

"Yeah.. yeah.. ok… ok.. shh… " Xena stroked his fur. "Shh.. you're gonna wake everyone up.. yeah.. I'm glad to see you too." A pink tongue caressed her face. "Yeah.. you still love me, huh?"

"Arghrroo." The wolf whined softly, and buried his big head in her chest. "Arrggggrrrrr."

Light flared, and she looked up, to see Ephiny standing in the doorway, torch in hand. "Sorry.. I.. wasn't expecting him." The warrior said quietly. "He must have gotten away from my mother."

Ephiny blinked at the frisking wolf. "Hello, Ares." She sighed. "It's all right.. the outer sentries needed a little shaking up."

"Grrrrr." The yellow eyes slitted, as he turned around and faced her, crouching protectively in front of the tall warrior.

The regent knelt down, and patted a big paw, then took a good look at Xena's drawn face, and sighed. "I… had a long talk with Pony." She winced internally at the unexpected chastising from her gruff lover, who had given her a rough and quick rundown on what they'd gone through the past few days.

Xena nodded a little. "How's she doing?" She kept her eyes on Ares, who chewed on her fingers with delight.

"Better… the healers think with some bed rest she'll be ok." Ephiny replied. "Thanks… for bringing her in.. I know that had to be hard for you." She paused, then reached out and patted a booted leg sprawled in front of her. "I was pretty harsh before… I.. I'm … sorry."

Xena concentrated on smoothing the dark fur under her fingertips. "You were just being honest." She answered in a careful tone.

Ephiny sat down cross-legged, and played with Ares' tail. "I know." She took a breath. "But one of the things Gabrielle asked me in that note was not to hurt you, and I did. And I'm sorry." She paused. "I.. um.. I could have handled that whole thing a little differently."

The warrior glanced up at her. "It's all right.. you had no idea of what was going on.. me riding in with Eponin half out of it in my saddle must have worried you."

Ephiny's eyes met hers. "A little, yeah." She glanced down. "Although if I stopped to think about it, instead of just get my leathers in a wad, I'd have realized you'd hardly have been just trotting in here if it really was what I was afraid of."

Xena shrugged listlessly. "It's more or less what I expected."

Damn. Ephiny took in the quietly discouraged set of her body, and the hands that never stopped stroking the wolf's dark fur. "Bet you're glad to see him, huh?"

The warrior nodded. "Yeah." She took a breath. "Johan… found us the day after Eponin and Solari.. mom.. was concerned. We were headed home, but… " She shrugged a little. "After Eponin got hurt.. it made sense to make sure they got back here all right."

Ephiny accepted that, then looked around. "You know, you can light a candle in here." She studied Xena soberly. "Were you just sitting here in the dark?"

No answer. The regent sighed. "All right.. get some rest, ok? If your Argo finds them, I can pretty much figure them to be here before dawn." She stood, and gazed quietly at the dark, silent warrior and the contented wolf. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Xena looked up and gave her a little nod. "Tell Pony I said goodnight too."

Ephiny smiled. "I will." She directed her attention to Ares, who looked up and lolled his tongue at her. "You take care of her, all right?"

"Roo." His ears pricked.

The regent walked over to the low table, and lit the candle there from her torch, then left, letting the door brush slowly shut after her.

Xena sat for a moment, exhausted by the long day and an overload of emotions. Then she sighed, and stood up. "C'mon, Ares.. up you go." She patted the edge of the bed, and waited until the wolf jumped up and settled himself, then curled up next to him. "You're other mommy is coming tomorrow, Ares.. she's gonna be glad to see you." She stroked the wolf's thick coat.

"Roo?" He sniffed her chest.

"No.. you." Xena whispered. "Though.. I think she'll probably be glad to see me, too."

"Agrurrooo." He got up, and settled against Xena's body with a little sigh

The warrior threw an arm over him, and let an uneasy sleep take her out, dozing fitfully and waking to formless nightmares until, just before dawn, soft footfalls brought her alert, ones that she recognized from their weight and rolling pattern.

The door opened, and a familiar outline showed briefly against the moonlight. Xena felt a shameful sense of relief fill her as she struggled to sit up, blinking foggily as a hand touched her shoulder. "Hey…" She cleared her throat and tried again. "Gab?"

"Shh.. it's ok.. I'm here." Gabrielle's voice floated out of the darkness. "Hey Ares… " She scratched the sleepy wolf's head. "Lie down." She reached over and felt the dark form next to the wolf, her fingers touching brass. "You're wearing your armor."

"Long night." Xena sighed dully, then fell silent.

"Is it ok to take this stuff off now?" The bard's fingers played with the armor buckles. "I think you're safe.. I yelled at everyone I could get my hands on.. they probably thought I was out of my mind." She paused. "Xena?"

"Yeah." The warrior breathed, soaking in her nearness. "Did Argo find you?"

"Yep." Gabrielle informed her, working on a buckle "C'mon, move your arm.. that’s it." She lifted the heavy chest armor over her partner's head, and set it behind her on the floor. Then she worked off one bracer, and started on the other.

"Y. you don't have to do that." Xena told her quietly.

"Yes, I do.. you know how much I hate sleeping on your armor." The bard commented softly. "I haven't been lazing around here in bed all night..so humor me, ok?" She got the other bracer off, and kicked her boots off, then nudged the warrior over onto her back and curled up against her, finding her favorite spot. "Ahh.. that's better." She gently stroked Xena's arm. "You ok?"

No answer, but she felt the warrior's arms curl around her, and the warm breath as Xena buried her face in Gabrielle's pale hair. "I've had better days." Her partner finally muttered.

"Yeah, I know." The bard hugged her. "I know." She sighed, thinking of the conversation she'd just had.

Argo had found them, oh yeah.. she sure had, scaring the daylights out of both of them until they realized the large moving form was a horse, and not raiders. Gabrielle had taken one look at the weapons wedged into the mare's gear, and cursed, then surprised both Solari and herself by jumping onto the horses back and actually managing to find her seat. They'd left Johan at the crossroads just after sunset, and had been planning to pitch camp for the night.

Argo's arrival changed, that, and Gabrielle had reached down to offer Solari a hand up. "C'mon.. I gotta go." As her gut suddenly clenched with whirling misery that she realized could only have one source. With Solari aboard, she headed the mare up into the hills.

They'd ridden for several hours before meeting up with the Amazon patrols, who'd been looking for them, and Gabrielle had gotten an earful of just how they'd 'taken' the Warrior Princess. By the time she'd hit the Amazon village, her temper had built to an explosion point, and at that point… Ephiny trotted up, sweeping sleep disheveled hair from her eyes.

"Gabrielle.." The regent had come forward and extended an arm. "I'm glad to see you."

She'd met an icy green response, as Gabrielle had kept her hands at her sides, and just looked at her. "Where is she?" Had been the bard's only question.

Ephiny had taken a breath. "In your quarters.. Ares.. your wolf.. he's in there too."

The bard had nodded slowly. "I'm glad she's got one friend there, anyway."

The Amazon had winced. "Gabrielle.. look.. we had no way of knowing what was going on. Cut me a little slack here." She'd lifted her hands. "Last time I saw you, it was being taken out of here forcibly on the back of a horse.. what was I supposed to think?" Now it was her turn to get angry. "You could have sent word… I didn't have to send two of my best warriors out on what could have been a one way mission to find you."

"We were on our way back home, Ephiny… you could have trusted us." Had come the quiet answer. "And not assumed the worst."

Ephiny had sighed. "No win situation, Gabrielle. I was worried about you." She'd looked up. "I apologized to Xena already. Now.. are we done yelling at each other?"

The bard had nodded wearily. "We can yell some more tomorrow.. I'm wiped." And then, finally, she'd stepped forward and circled Ephiny with her arms, giving her a heartfelt hug. "It's good to see you."

Ephiny had returned the hug, then held the bard at arms distance and studied her. "You look like you're in better shape than she is."

Which, Gabrielle considered, was probably true. She could feel the tension in the body under hers, and started a gentle stroking. "Hey… I've got a lot of fond memories about this bed." She murmured, attempting a distraction.

"Yeah?" Xena whispered, snuggling a little closer and feeling her body begin to relax.

"Uh huh… I think.. I remember expressing doubt about being comfortable about being touched.. and I got reassured in a very nice way by a very nice friend of mine. "

Xena smiled gently. "I remember that… I did something like.. " She traced a lazy finger down the bard's cheek to her breastbone, and paused above her pulse point, feeling it jump under her touch.. "Hmm.. that hasn't changed."

"Uhhhh… no." Gabrielle laughed softly. "It sure hasn't."

"Mmm.. then I did something like… " Xena ducked her head, and accurately found her place even in the dark. The silence stretched for a long time, then finally Gabrielle sighed softly, and nuzzled her partner's chest

"That hasn't changed either." She breathed softly..

Ephiny felt the unfamiliar pattern of sunlight across her face and slid one eyelid open, peering around in confusion. Ah. Her mind resolved her surroundings. Healer's hut. Right. She raised the other eyelid, and turned her head, to observe Eponin's quietly sleeping form. So far, so good.

She cocked her head to listen. No riots brewing, that's a plus. Then her eyes studied the light coming in the window. Though the chances of Amazons rioting before breakfast were pretty slim…Her wry thoughts continued. Not that she couldn’t imagine what the buzz at the breakfast table would be this morning. With a sigh, she rolled over, and sat up, scrubbing at her eyes with her hands. Time for damage control, I guess.

"Morning." Came the sleepy mumbled from the other pallet.

"Well well… are you with us today?" Ephiny teased, leaning forward and studying Eponin carefully. Both eyes seemed to be responding to the light normally, and she felt a little better. "Some friends of yours came in a few hours ago."

Eponin raised an eyebrow. "They OK? Did Gabrielle kick your butt?"

Ephiny cleared her throat delicately. "C'mon, Pony.. we're both reasonable, mature adult women. We don't go around kicking each other's butts."

The weapon's master waited.

"Yeah, she did." Ephiny finally sighed. "And I kicked hers, a little, and we're ok for now." She stretched. "I'll bring you back some breakfast.. I have to go over there and start an attitude adjustment..I really don't want people looking daggers at Xena, only to find themselves being clocked in the head by our feisty little queen."

Eponin grinned. "She's a little terror, isn't she?" The weapon's master stretched carefully, and put her hands behind her head. "Did she ever light into us when we got there."

"Yeah… I bet." Ephiny sighed. "She’s like that.. it’s what made the whole thing so rotten.. she believes in Xena so much.. and to have her… " The regent shook her head. "Lousy situation."

They both looked at each other in silence, then Ephiny blew out a breath. "Well, let me go and see what I can do to liven up the atmosphere around here." She stood, and crossed to the wash basin, plunging her hands in and splashing a liberal amount on her face. "Be back soon."

The regent left the healer’s hut, and made her way to her quarters, where she changed into a fresh set of leathers, and headed across the compound to the communal food area. The sun was already warming the air as she stepped through the door, and gathered in all the quick glances that came her way. "Morning." She ran a hand through her hair and made her way up to the table reserved for her in the front, settling down on the bench just as Esta set a cold mug of cider in front of her, the chill beading on the outside. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." The cook grunted. "Now.. tell me.. what in Hades is going on?"

The impossible happened. Silence, in the Amazon dining hall over breakfast, as every eye fastened on a plate, and every ear cocked in her direction. Ephiny felt a wry sense of the ridiculous as she propped her chin up on one hand. "With what, Esta?" She asked innocently. "The harvest? Hunting? The weather?"

"Veerrry funny." Esta grimaced. "Spill it."

The regent gave her a brief grin, then shrugged, and stood up. "Might as well just make one announcement, so people can start breathing again in here before I have to call the healers."

Sheepish glances darted her way.

"All right, look." Ephiny paused, searching for the right words. "If you all don't know by now, Queen Gabrielle is here. She arrived early this morning." She traced a crack in the table. "She's fine…apparently our concerns were not well founded, and things got worked out."

Silence, as that was absorbed. "What happened to Eponin?" Came a quiet voice from a back table. Solari stood up and faced the questioner. "We located them in a small village in the flatlands.. and we made sure things were all right, then stayed overnight meaning to head back here next morning." She sighed. "Next morning, raiders attacked the village, and Pony was taken out by one of the riders… she um.. he was going to come back for a second try but Xena got there first.. got her out of the way."

Thoughtful looks began to mingle with the angry and distrustful ones. Ephiny put her fingers on the table and leaned against them. "I know.. there's a lot of.. anger… in our community over what happened not long ago.. but I think we have to recognize that the damage that was done was not done to us.. and our Queen is well capable of making the decision on how, and where she makes her life… for better or for worse, she's chosen to remain on the path she started on." She paused. "I don't want anyone here questioning that choice."

Menelda, the chief healer stood and came nose to nose with her. "What about what's best for Gabrielle, never mind us?"

Ephiny gazed at her, unhappily. "Menelda, you'll have your crack at Gabrielle later today… I won't deny you that. But… " She sighed, and lowered her voice until only the healer could hear her. "There's something between them that I don't really understand… I'm not sure the situation is what you think it is."

The healer studied her. "We'll see."

The regent nodded, then raised her voice again. "Here me… so far as I am concerned, we have only friends here in this village… and I want you all to understand that. I don't want any ugliness.. is that understood?" She scanned the room, taking in the mixture of reluctance, resignation, and acceptance that colored the response. "All right… that's all." She sat down, and accepted a plate of fruit and bread from Esta. "Thanks." Then a hand touched her arm, and she looked up. "Hello, Cait…"

The slim, blond girl smiled at her. "Is it all right if I go visit?"

Ephiny smiled back. "You know it is… they'd love to see a friendly face."

"Super." Cait replied. "I knew they'd be all right.. I told everyone so."

The regent gazed at her. "You did, huh? How'd you know that, Cait.. I don’t think they did.. not for a long time."

The girl considered the question. "I just knew, that was all." She nodded a little. "There was just too much love there.. it takes an awful lot of hatred to try and take that away, and I don't think there's enough hatred in the world to take away all of theirs."

Ephiny smiled gently. "You may be right, Cait… I think that's the only thing that pulled them through, but… you know, I'm really glad it did."

"Me too." The girl laughed, and tapped the table. "I'm off."

Menelda snorted softly. "You’re fools."

Ephiny closed her eyes, and sighed. "Menelda, I’m not debating this with you again, all right? We’re not going to agree on this." She stabbed a bit of fruit and popped it in her mouth. "It’s not that I don’t care about Gabrielle, I do, and you know it. But things aren’t as black and white as you make them out."

The healer took a long sip of cider, and rested her jaw on her hand. "What I see, Ephiny, is an Amazon, with right of Caste, who is in a lot of danger, and no one seems to want to do anything about it."

"She doesn’t.." Ephiny started, but was cut off.

"She’s blinded, Ephiny… we both know that.. she doesn’t see what that woman is, or what she is capable of doing to her.. damn, I should think you’d at least acknowledge that.. after what happened to you."

The regent stared at her plate for a long moment, then turned her head and regarded the healer soberly. "No.. you’re wrong.. both about what I acknowledge, and the assumption that Gabrielle has no idea what she’s gotten herself into." She paused. "I know she’s dangerous, Menelda. Possibly.. probably.. the most dangerous person I have ever, ever known, who is unpredictable, and possibly unstable, who makes unclear choices, and who has done some very profound damage to someone I’m very fond of." She sighed. "But Gabrielle knows that too.. and she’s made the choice to take the risk, a choice I’m not going to hold against her."

"Keeping them together is stupid, foolhardy, and dangerous." Menelda stated.

Ephiny gazed at her. "Tearing them apart is a death sentence for both of them. You choose." She let a silence fall between them. "You saw her when she was here, those three days. You saw her that last time when the damn woman died. You tell me."

The healer reflected quietly. "It’s insanity."

"Probably. But you’ll see… I talked with Solari, and with Eponin.. it’s not faked, Menelda… if anything, Solari said it’s more obvious now that ever." Ephiny put a hand on her arm. "Look.. I promised to get Gabrielle to talk, alone, with you and the others.. I’ll do that.. but you have to promise me something.. promise me, hear?"

The healer tapped her fingers. "What?"

"You have to accept her answer." Ephiny said quietly. "Even if you think it’s the wrong one."

Menelda studied her pensively. "You know what it’s going to be."

The regent nodded. "Yeah." She stood. "Come with me a minute."

The healer reluctantly followed her across the compound, still misty with early morning haze, until they were next to the quarters assigned to Gabrielle. The window was open, gathering in the light breeze, and Ephiny went quite still, as they got close enough to peer inside without being seen themselves. "Look."

After a minute, Menelda sighed, and turned away, walking towards the healer’s hut without looking back once.

Ephiny watched a moment longer, and waggled her fingers at Ares, who was watching her with his ears pricked up. Then she sighed, and headed back towards the dining hall.

Xena heard them, but kept her eyes closed, and didn’t budge an inch until her senses brought her Ephiny’s fading footsteps, and only then let her eyes drift open a little, taking in the morning sun with studied indifference. She had no intention of moving, and was perfectly content to remain right where she was, providing a soft resting place for the still soundly sleeping bard whose grip was firmly anchoring her in bed.

Whose grip seemed to be firmly anchoring her… period. The experience with Ephiny last night had shaken her… more than she’d anticipated. Gabrielle’s presence, and Ares made her feel a lot better, to the point where she was able to bring up her normal mental defenses, and felt a lot more able to cope with the Amazon’s hostility. Didn’t used to be like that. She mused pensively. But the last little while had just been.. too much.

Outside, she could hear the sounds of early morning activity, and smell the cookfires pungent scent as it was drifting in the open window, along with the green smell from the forest that surrounded the village.

She let her eyes close again, and settled her arms more securely around Gabrielle’s warm body, smiling a little as the bard let out a tiny sigh, and nuzzled her gently. Then her eyes popped open as she felt a nip pinch her skin. "Hey.."

Gabrielle rolled her head to one side, and gave her a look. "You’re awake." The bard accused, then she blushed, and dropped her gaze. "I.. sorry."

"For what?" Xena asked, genuinely puzzled. She stroked the bard's hair gently

"Acting like I own you." Gabrielle let out an embarrassed little laugh. "I must sound like an idiot… I just… "

"Gabrielle?" The warrior interrupted her rambling.

"Yeah?" The bard replied.

"You… I… I don't mind when you do that." Xena finished hesitantly. "It's.. all right."

Gabrielle opened her mouth a few times to answer that, then finally closed it and just put her head back down. She thought quietly for a few minutes, then let her hand idly play with a bit of torn leather over the warrior's ribcage. "We're doing better, huh?" Her voice held a wistful tone.

Xena slid a hand around and gently scratched her partner's neck, feeling the slim body press more tightly against hers. "Yeah.. I think we're doing a lot better." She dredged up a smile as Ares crawled up on her other side, and settled his head in the crook of her shoulder, and commenced licking. "Hey… hey… yeah.. I'm glad to see you too, boy… " She closed her eyes and let herself bask guiltily in the affection she could feel surrounding her. "I… was um.. I was really glad to see him." She paused. "Not.. I mean, not as glad as I was to see you, but…"

Gabrielle lifted her head and studied her seriously. "You were really down last night."

Long pause. "Yeah.. I was…um… long day, and.. Ephiny really kinda nailed me at the end of it." She admitted with a sigh, rubbing her temples. "She was right, but…"

"Mm." Gabrielle began tracing a gentle pattern. "I think I'd disagree with you.. but…I don't suppose I could talk you into..oh.. say a few more hours of sleep?" She gave her partner a wishing look. "I didn't get much.. and.. I'd.. um.. I'd really feel better… safer.. if you were here."

Xena gazed at her. "OK." She replied simply, and let out a breath. "It's gonna annoy Ephiny, though… I know she wants to talk to you."

The bard snuggled into a more comfortable position and yawned. "I know." She let her eyes close. "She'll live."

Xena felt her lips twitch into an unwilling smile. "You're starting to sound like me."

"Oh good." The bard mumbled. "Will you teach me that low growly thing you do that gives everyone the chills? I got a story that would work on."

The warrior gave her a quiet, affectionate look. "Sure." She stroked the fair hair with one hand. "Sleep now.. I'll keep watch."

Gabrielle smiled a little, into the warm leather. Absurd, that in the middle of the Amazon village, surrounded by warriors, she would find safety only here, in these arms. Where her soul was at peace despite everything that had happened, and everything that had gone wrong between them. It didn't make much sense.

Maybe, she thought, it wasn't supposed to.

Ephiny checked the position of the sun, then sighed, and hitched her leathers up. "Well, I’m gonna to bite the arrowhead and see what's going on." She muttered to Eponin, who gave her an amused look.

"Hey... she got in just dawn, Eph... give her a break." The weapon's master objected reasonably. "She's probably exhausted."

The regent gave her a scowl. "I know.. I know.. but centaur hooves, Pony.. I spend half of forever worrying about the woman, at least she can wake up and talk to me for a few minutes." Ephiny stood and stretched, glancing around the small healer's hut. "You all right here until I get back?"

An eyebrow quirked over a caramel colored eye. "Eph, you'd better cut that out or I’m gonna have to hurt you." She sat up carefully, and put her feet firmly on the floor. "It's a bump on the head, not a gut wound."

"Mm." The regent studied her seriously. "A bump on the head serious enough for Xena to leave Gabrielle behind, and bring you in here. There area lot of things the old warhorse is, but a mother hen has never been one of them." She put a hand on the older woman's shoulder, and pushed down gently. "Stay put, ok?" She sighed. "I've got enough troubles with Menelda, without getting into arguments with her over you."

Eponin rolled here eyes melodramatically, and laid back down, rolling onto her side and propping her head up on her hand. "Oh.. all right." She paused. "She on you about the Queen?"

Ephiny nodded. "Yeah.. and you know, I thought she had a good case."

The weapon's master grunted. "I did too, Eph... and I don't need to remind you of exactly how mad I was when I left here. I wanted her blood, remember?"

Her companion nodded absently. "I remember." She gave a little nod. "All right.. let me go wake her up.. I don't imagine I'll have that much of a chance to chat with them.. my guess is Gabrielle's gonna fill me in on what happened, then take off home." She grimaced. "And now I owe Cyrene an apology." She shook her head and left the hut, passing from the cool interior into the warmth of the sun. Around her, she could hear the soft sounds of crickets and the sporadic voices as the village went about its normal activities. A glance up told her a hunting party was returning, and she noted that the new huts they were building on the west side of the village were moving along.

They were growing, Ephiny reflected, which was a good feeling after the trials of the past year or so. Ten young women would be initiated into their ranks at the Harvest Festival, and the new quarters would be filled. Six other women were with child, and lately the incidence of girl children had been pretty good. Moral was up, despite the current situation, and Ephiny had been feeling satisfied with the direction of the Nation under her stewardship.

The treaties Gabrielle had negotiated during her last visit had turned out to be more lucrative than they had anticipated also, and she was in the enviable position of having a significant surplus this season, some of which she was intending on sending north to be traded for tools and supplies they hadn't seen in years. Ephiny was looking forward to picking the trading party shortly.. it was also time to shake up some of the complacency, and give a few of the newer women a chance to show what they could do, now that she could afford to take a chance or two, and absorb any negotiating mistakes as a learning experience.

She approached the queen's quarters again, this time not pausing outside, but continuing on to the door and pushing it lightly open, poking her head inside with an inquiring look.

Faintly amused blue eyes gazed back at her, from a very wide awake Xena, who was nevertheless still sprawled on the bed providing a large, leather clad pillow for her younger partner. "Hi." The Amazon gave her a tiny grin. "Her Majesty's still sleeping, I see."

A shrug of one tanned shoulder. "Traveled all night to get here." Xena paused. "Um..c'mon in."

Ephiny availed herself of the offer, and slipped into the room, closing the door behind her. She padded quietly over to the bedside, and dropped onto the low stool near the bed. "I know.. I don't grudge it to her.."

Xena smiled quietly. "But you're dying to talk to her."

The blond Amazon ducked her head, and hid a grin. "Something like that, yeah."

The warrior nodded. "Told her you would be."

Ephiny raised her head, and studied the sleeping bard, whose deep, slow breathing and faintly twitching hands were testimony to her relaxed state. One arm was curled tightly around Xena's stomach. "She always hang on to you like that?" Then she blushed as she realized just how personal a question that was, to someone she was not sure of her relationship with. "Sorry."

The warrior let out a soft sigh. "Um.. it's all right... and yeah, she tends to.. just something we kind of fell into a while back."

One green eye peeked open. "Whose falling?" Gabrielle regarded Ephiny with a mild look. "Good morning."

The Amazon cocked an eyebrow at her. "Afternoon."

The bard's own eyebrows rose, and she glanced up at her companion, who shrugged. "Uh.. sorry." She yawned, and rolled onto her side, releasing her partner. "Didn't meant to do that.. at least not so late." She ran her hands through her hair and blinked. "What's up?"

Ephiny glanced down and studied her hands. "Well... I know people would like to see you.. have a chance to talk to you... " She looked up briefly at Xena. "Tyldus sent word down.. he'd like you to come over there if you get a chance."

The warrior nodded quietly. "I figured."

Gabrielle looked up. "Wha.." Then she stopped and closed her mouth. Probably wants to talk about Kaleipus. Her mind forced her on. And Solon. "Well, that works out.." She went on. "You can go talk to him.. I'll do a round of explaining here.. then we can head off home." She gave Ephiny an apologetic look. "I... um.. I know it's kinda short."

The regent smiled. "It's all right, Gabrielle.. I figured as much.. I know you want to get going.. I was hoping you'd stay over another night.. just give us a chance to see you."

The bard looked up at Xena, and they exchanged glances. "It's going to be pretty late by the time we finish.. so yeah, that works out ok.. we can take off in the morning. " Gabrielle agreed readily, having read reluctant acknowledgement in Xena's eyes. "How's Pony?"

Ephiny managed a smile, relieved at the agreement, and the change of subject. "Itching to get out of bed." She chuckled, then sighed. "You.. want to join me for lunch? I.. " She hesitated. "I briefly filled everyone in..I know it's kind of uncomfortable for both of you."

A small silence fell. "Lunch sounds good." Gabrielle finally said quietly. "Thanks..give us a minute.. we'll be there."

The regent pursed her lips and nodded. "Ok... see you in a bit then." She stood, and walked out, leaving them to look at each other.

"Damn." Gabrielle put her head back down on her partner's chest. "Sorry.. I know you wanted out of here."

A hand lifted and rubbed her back. "It's OK.. you're right, it's gonna be late, and one more night won't kill me here." Xena replied softly. "Maybe.. we can visit again.. or they can come see us..I don't.. " She took a deep breath. "Gabrielle, I don't want you to feel bad about wanting to spend time with them because of me."

The bard let out a frustrated breath. "Xena.. I don’t feel bad about spending time with them because of you.. I feel bad because you feel bad about spending time here." She closed her eyes. "Gods.. so many pieces." She looked up at her partner. "Sometimes I just want to take all of them, and just stick them together and…" Her face tensed. "Oh gods.. if I could just.. go back."

The warrior gazed at her sadly. "Yeah.. I know." She fiddled with a bit of the blanket they were resting on. "I know." She paused. "Look.. Gabrielle.. I know.."

A hand covered her mouth. "Don’t say it." The bard gave her a very serious look. "Don’t even think it, just drop it, Xena, I mean that."

Xena paused, and regarded her. "Do you really know what I was going to say?"

Gabrielle nodded grimly. "You were about to tell me that it might be better for me if I stayed here, and I should think about it."

Damn. Xena’s eyes widened. Am I that transparent to her? "Um."

The bard couldn’t help it. She felt a tiny, wry grin tugging at her lips. "Please… Xena.. this is hard enough on both of us.. don’t make it harder by making me scared I’m going to be left behind all over again." Her eyes found Xena’s, and pleaded gently. "Don’t do that to me."

No… Xena put a tentative hand on her arm. "That’s not… " Then she just stopped. What’s the point? You know the only thing being apart is going to do for us is drive us both insane. "You’re right. I’m sorry."

Something.. has changed. Gabrielle realized. But it’s not a bad thing.. we don’t take each other for granted anymore. I think I like that. "Apology accepted." She gave the warrior a warm smile. "Forget what I said before about going back… we’re going to get through this." She leaned forward and gently kissed Xena on the lips, a casual gesture that snared her in, and sent her hands sliding against the warm body under hers. She spent a moment in hesitant fear, then decided to just relax and enjoy the moment.

And that she did, as the afternoon sun slanted into the window and painted a wheaten stripe that burnished them both in shades of summer gold. She separated from her partner slowly and reluctantly, keeping her gaze locked on the sparkling blue eyes inches from her face. They regarded each other in silence for a moment, then Gabrielle dropped her head, and rolled to her feet, walking over to the low table near the window that held the wash basin and leaning against it, her back to the warrior. "Guess we’d better go get this over with." The bard sighed, then looked around as Xena came up behind her.

"Listen.. " The warrior put her hands on the bard’s bare shoulders. "It’s like you said.. we’ll get through this." She smiled a little as the bard leaned back against her, and she moved closer, wrapping her arms around Gabrielle’s neck and holding her. "C’mon.. " She put on a determinedly optimistic air. "Let’s go suffer an Amazon lunch, and then I'll take a run down to the Centaur village."

Gabrielle just let herself absorb the warmth, both physical and.. Her brow creased in concentration, and she held her breath. Oh.

Yes. There it was. The half sensed, half felt, tickling flow that she’d come to associate with their connection. She wondered if Xena felt it. "Are you all right with that?" She tilted her head and looked up.

The warrior had her eyes closed, and an expression of intense concentration on her face. After a moment of awkward silence, her eyelids fluttered open, and she met the bard’s concerned gaze with a painfully open look. "I… um. I’m sorry.. Gabrielle.. did you say something?"

The bard turned around in her grasp and faced her. "You felt it."

A faint nod. "Yeah."

Gabrielle smiled broadly, and hugged her. ‘I’ve missed that." She gave her partner a pat on the side, and released her. "We’d better get going.. " She turned and splashed water over her face, and used a piece of wetted linen to rinse her arms off. "Promise me you won’t make faces at whatever they serve?"

"I promise." Xena answered faintly, hugging the warm feeling to herself and letting it seep into the dark crevices that had opened up in her. "Even if it’s that brown stuff."

Gabrielle wrinkled her nose. "Ew.. no.. you’ve got my permission to make a face for that." She dried herself off, and turned, rinsing the linen and starting to work on the warrior. "Here.. hold still." She neatly wiped off the worst of the travel stains from Xena’s tall body. "What is that stuff anyway?"

"Dirt." Xena muttered.

The bard snorted softly. "That explains the taste."

This got a grin from the warrior. "Oh..you mean the brown stuff they eat..um.. I’m not sure. Some kind of .. plant.. extract or.. something like that." She let the bard finish her task, and settled her armor over her shoulders. "Tastes like dried bird poop."

Gabrielle let out a silent sigh of relief over the lightening in the atmosphere. "And.. just.. how would you know what that tastes like?"

Xena stopped what she was doing, and regarded the smaller woman thoughtfully. "Let’s just say we used to play dares when I was a kid and I lost." She paused. "Once."

The bard wrinkled her nose again. "Ew."

Xena made a face right back. "Yeah."

The dining hall hushed to silence as Gabrielle put her hand out and put aside the bead curtain that kept out the insects, not letting it go until she'd passed inside, and held it for her partner to follow. She let her eyes wander over the assembled Amazons.

"Hi." She commented briskly, and focused her attention on the front table, where Solari and Ephiny were half seated, half standing, watching her with uncertain looks. Watching them, actually, as Gabrielle realized the attention was now glued on her taller companion, who was quietly following her with an unreadable expression on her face. Ares trotted after Xena, keeping his nose more or less even with her armored knees.

The waves of tension were palpable.

A chair scraped back, and soft footfalls approached them. "Hello." A young voice broke the silence impudently. "It's ever so super to see you."

Gabrielle smiled. "Hello, Cait." She hugged the girl, who squeezed her back with enthusiasm. "Good to see you too." She released the girl, who moved a pace back and launched a similar assault at the leather clad warrior ambling behind her.

"Hey." Xena let a warm grin shape her lips, as she enveloped the young Amazon in a friendly hug.

"I'm ever so sorry." The girl whispered almost soundlessly, knowing it would be heard. "I can't tell you how much."

The warrior held her a little closer. "Thanks, Cait." She gave her a little pat, and felt her heart clench, remembering a friendship born in danger between the girl and her son. "He thought you were really cool, for a girl." She whispered softly back, letting herself feel the sadness.

Cait closed her eyes, and sighed, then collected herself, and broke off. He had died unfairly, and she remembered clearly her rage, and desire to take revenge on his killer.

And then she had found out who that killer was, and what had happened to her.

There was so very much grief that she hadn't really known where to start feeling awful, she just knew she did, and had been one of the few who had seen Xena's violent return for her soulmate to be what it truly was, not a threat, not a danger, but in many ways a rescue.

She was ever so glad it had turned out right. She gave Ares a friendly pat, and waved at them, trotting back to her seat in the back where the rest of her age mates were with total unconcern as to the looks she was getting.

"You're crazy." Megan hissed, pulling on her leathers. "How could you do that?"

Cait turned her head, and let her feelings show, causing the other girls to back off. "Because they're my friends, you squirrel headed clueless ninny." She fiercely shot back. "I'm not like the rest of you lot, to abandon that just because something bad happened." She went back to her plate, grabbing a piece of bread and chewing it savagely.

Xena watched her go with a hint of a smile on her face, then let her icy gaze sweep the room, causing looks to be averted rapidly. Cait had broken the ice, though, and a low, uneasy murmur was rising, as conversation resumed. With a sigh, the warrior followed her partner's tense back up to the front table, and gave both Solari and Ephiny a short nod.

"I hope Cait won't get too much grief for that." Gabrielle muttered wryly, as she seated herself next to the regent. "Not that I didn't appreciate it."

Ephiny resettled herself, and propped her elbows on the table. "They don’t mess with her much." Her eyes flicked to Xena's impassive face. "She'll be fine." She passed over a platter of bread and cheese. "Sorry about that.. it's too hot for cooking today.. we're just grazing. "

"Could be worse." Both Xena and Gabrielle uttered the sentence simultaneously, then glanced at each other in wry amusement.

The regent relaxed a little, trying to watch them out of the corner of her eye without being obvious. What she saw reassured her. While both were uncomfortable which in Gabrielle came out as nervous chatter, and in Xena an idle playing with her food instead of eating it, they were obviously unsettled by the surroundings, and not by each other. There was no strain evident, as there had been before all Hades had broken loose the last time.

In fact.. Ephiny watched the bard unconcernedly remove portions from her partner's plate and nibble them, and caught the masked, but unmistakable affectionate look that spurred from the taller woman. I would have thought it impossible. She mentally shook her head. Things were different, changed… they both had been wounded desperately, but… Damn. Eponin was right.. that.. something.. is still there.

She took a breath, and made her decision. "So.. " She turned to Xena and reached out, slapping the warrior lightly on the arm. "Tell me about this flower thing Solari keeps hinting about." She felt the silent, subliminal shock wave as the room watched her, and held it's breath. Hmm.. Blue Amazons… Ephiny let that thought stop right there. Oh.. no.. they don't need to hear that story. C'mon, Xena.. react, or they're going to start keeling over and the healers are going to kill me.

The warrior let out a quiet chuckle, and crossed her arms, giving Ephiny a wry look. "Can't.. Pony's not gonna like it."

Ephiny grinned. "All the more reason to tell me." She sensed the room begin to breathe again, and shot a glance around surreptitiously, gathering in the increasingly thoughtful looks directed their way.

Things had gone better after that, and as they related their recent adventures, a slow trickle of Amazons found reason to pass by the head table, and make comments, reports, notifications and reminders to Ephiny, and also, in passing, say shy hellos to both the bard, and a trifle more uneasily, but still.. to her dour partner.

"Y'know, Ephiny… " Xena finally leaned forward, a faintly sardonic look on her face. "It woulda been less stressful for you to just tell everyone they could come up and say hello, rather than make them rack their brains for all these excuses." It was the longest sentence she'd said yet.

The regent laughed a little, in relief. "Yeah.. well… I learned an awful lot, most of which I really didn't wanna know, but it was good for them.. make them think for a change." She fiddled with her mug. "I've… " She let out a long breath. "I hope you both don't mind, but I've asked the cooks to come up with a little outdoor revel tonight.. some pit cooking, a little music.. nothing major, just.."

"A party." Gabrielle responded, biting back a grin.

"No..no no.. not a party.. as such.. just.. well, a little get together…" Ephiny hesitated. "Oh Artemis' breastplate. Yeah, ok.. it's a party, but just so we can spend some time with you before you leave."

The bard put a hand out and closed it over Ephiny's, gazing quietly at her. "That sounds great." She turned and glanced at the warrior. "You'll be back pretty early.. right?"

Xena stood. "Yeah.. if I get going now." She let a hand rest on Gabrielle's shoulder. "I'm gonna stop and check Argo, and pick up my weapons." Now her eyes found Ephiny's. "If that's all right."

The regent grimaced. "Xena.. no offense.. but you sending Argo off with that stuff was a show, and we both know that.. it didn't make you any less dangerous."

The warrior gazed at her impassively. "With all those arrows pointed at me, I wasn't taking any chances." She gave the bard's shoulder a squeeze, and turned, making her way out of the dining hall with even, rolling strides, with Ares dark form trotting after her.

Ephiny and Gabrielle exchanged glances. "She mad about that?" The regent asked quietly.

The bard shrugged wearily. "Resigned to it." She replied, fiddling with a bit of bread.

The regent looked around, and took a breath. Ok.. let's get this over with. "Want to take a walk?"

They ended up down near the river, seated against a tall oak tree, and watching the dark, turbulent water flow past as the warm, sultry air passed over them. "Where do I start?" Gabrielle asked, looking out over the water. "We left here, and went to a cave.. it's not far.. and..um.. " She closed her eyes and sighed. "We fought. A lot." She paused. "I yelled.. I said a lot of things.. a lot of hurtful things.. she did too.. we were both in a lot of pain."

Ephiny took a breath. "Did you actually fight.. did she.. hit you.. or .."

"Yes." Came the stark reply. "It was… the one thing I thought she'd…" The bard pressed her lips together, and paused for a long moment. "Then she passed out."

The regent glanced at her, startled. "What?"

"It was just too much, Ephiny… she wasn't fighting me, she was fighting herself.. I could see it.. she wanted to hurt me.. we wanted to hurt each other.. it just kept pushing and pushing and pushing at us until she snapped." The bard went on in a rush of words. "And I remember standing there over her, wanting so badly to be angry and hate her.. and just… kick her hard or something.. and.. and I just couldn’t."

Ephiny stared at her, wide eyed. "Couldn’t?"

A slow shake of the bard's head. "After all that.. after everything.. all that pain, and all the grief, and the hatred…and all I wanted to do was just hug her, and make it all go away." She stared off into the distance. "I love her."

"Despite everything?" The regent whispered. "Gabrielle.. I…"

"It's what made it so much worse…" Gabrielle explained softly. "I realized that after.. if we'd truly hated each other, it would have been… well, she would have gone off.. and I would have stayed here.. and that would have been that." Another slow shake of her head. "But I can't do that.. and she can't do that.. we just have to forgive each other, and trust in our love." She looked up. "Ephiny, she is so important to me.. I know.. I know what you're going to say.. it's a risk..she could go crazy.. she's violent.. she could hurt me all over again.. but I swear to you.. I don't care.. I can't help it.. I have to be a part of her life, and she has to be a part of mine."

"Shh." Ephiny put a hand on Gabrielle's arm. "Take it easy.. I'm not suggesting for a minute otherwise." Abandoning the thought of just such a proposition. "I realize that things got out of control.. but look what it took to get them that way, Gabrielle.. .and still.. you managed to overcome that.. you came through it.. somehow." She stroked the soft skin. "I have never seen a more powerful bond between two people than the one you two have, my friend.. don't be ashamed of that."

The bard quieted down, and let her head rest against the rough tree bark. "I'm not." She sighed wearily. "It just gets so hard to explain to everyone why I don't just leave her." She glanced at Ephiny. "Why I still love her, even after what happened.. people look at me like I'm either insane or so blinded by her that I don’t know what I'm doing." She paused. "I'm not a child anymore, Ephiny. I killed someone in Britannia."

Total shock on the regent's face.

"Yeah." The bard sighed. "It was part of that whole.. Xena thinks I was tricked into it to allow Dahok's evil into the world."

Ephiny licked her lips nervously. "Through ..um… " Her voice failed her.

"Yes." Green eyes regarded her sadly. "But I was so sure I was right… " A pained smile. "And then I was so jealous of her past that I deliberately betrayed her, and got her captured by one of her worst enemies, Ephiny.. and she almost died in Chin because of it."

Another shocked look.

Gabrielle gazed at her. "Yeah… so now you hear the other side of the story… I betrayed her, and you know what? I'm the only person in her life, ever, who she forgave for that."

The regent closed her eyes. "I had no idea, Gabrielle." She tried to arrange her whirling thoughts in a coherent whole, as her perceptions took on wholly different colors. "I never thought…"

The bard sighed. "I never thought I would either.. I never thought I'd have it in me to do that.. not to anyone, much less her… that was a really hard thing to find out about myself.. for a long time, I didn't believe in myself anymore, Ephiny." She plucked a stalk of grass, and chewed on it, as a feeling of peace came over her again. "And as I was standing in that cave, looking down at her.. I just realized that the only way I'd ever change that.. that I'd ever find peace again is through her…through us."

"And you did." Ephiny breathed.

The cold granite had pressed against her back, providing some relief to her aching head which throbbed as jolts of sharp pain seared her from her battered jaw and mouth. She'd wrapped her arms around Xena's still body, and pulled her into her lap, taking wistful comfort from the warrior's warmth, for the short time she had until Xena woke up, and pulled away.

In that short few minutes, holding her, she'd come to the sobering realization that this was something she needed, something she wanted so badly that it was worth risking everything to get it back. And when Xena's eyes had drifted open, and they'd stared, exhausted, at each other, she'd just said simply. "I need you."

Xena hadn't moved, hadn't pulled back, had just studied her face for what seemed like forever. "Then we need to talk." She'd finally answered, deliberately putting herself in the most vulnerable position she could have, cradled in Gabrielle's arms.

And they had, with slow, halting words, that started with heartfelt "I'm sorry's"

"I'm sorry I let you down in Britannia.. and didn't get there in time." Xena's voice had rasped. "I'm sorry I didn't help you.. understand you… left you alone to make a horrible decision about Hope."

"I'm sorry I didn't try harder to stop you with Caesar.." The bard had whispered in reply. "I'm sorry about Chin.. I was so stupid and angry."

They'd both realized rather quickly that the forgave each other more readily than themselves

"I wish I'd talked to you about what happened.. how I felt.. how I knew.. about the evil.." The warrior had sighed. "Instead of just expecting you to take me at face value."

"I wish you hadn't been right." Gabrielle had responded. "I wanted you to be wrong so badly..it blinded me." She'd cried softly. "I believed in her.. just like I believed in you."

Past tense. And they both knew that. It hurt.

But it wasn't until Xena had said. "I destroyed our friendship" that the loss hit home, because she realized at that moment it was probably true. She'd started crying helplessly, grief wringing sobs from her chest.

And then she'd looked down, and through the haze saw the tears in Xena's eyes, and that…had let the smallest sliver of light back into her, because she understood that as long at the love was still there, the possibilities were also.

"Yeah, we did." She answered Ephiny quietly. "It was hard, and it hurt a lot, and it still does, but.. we both decided it was the only way."

Ephiny gave her a sideways glance, taking in the new lines of maturity etching her face, and the shadows now permanently a feature of her once guiless eyes. Gabrielle was right.. the child from Potadeia no longer existed. In her place was this complex woman whose motivations and feelings, once so obvious, were now a mystery. "It's changed you." She commented softly.

A very slow nod. "I know." The bard's eyes met hers. "It changed everything.. just like Xena said it would." A rolling wave of misery crashed over her, and she gasped a little. "Oh… "

Ephiny sat up, and grabbed her shoulder. "Gabrielle.. what is it? You're white as a sheet."

Gabrielle caught her breath with difficulty, and pressed an arm to her bare midriff. "Um.. yeah.. I .." Another wave caught her, and she realized it's source. "Ephiny.. what do you think Tyldus wanted with Xena?"

The Amazon glanced down, and played with a bit of shed bark. "I.. probably to say something about Kaleipus.. and.. I think he wanted to give her Solon's things."

The bard closed her eyes and leaned back against the tree. Yeah. The heavy guilt rolled over her and added to the misery. She doesn't want me around, that's for sure. Her mind tried to convince her, but her heart was demanding otherwise. But I guess I'm going anyway.

Abruptly, she opened her eyes, and stood, dusting her skirt off with brisk strokes. "Listen.. I .. I need some air.. I'm just going to go for a little walk, ok?"

Ephiny remained seated, studying her. "All right." She replied slowly. "You.. um.. take whatever time you need." She watched as the bard walked off, her body tense and her movements uncertain, and shook her head.

The barn was thankfully empty when Xena entered it, and she heard the soft crunch of straw under her boots as only her movements broke the silence. Argo was in a corner stall, munching unconcernedly on a stack of neatly cut hay, but she looked up at the familiar footsteps and whickered.

"Hey girl.." Xena moved closer to the warm comfort of the mare, and stroked her shining coat. "Thanks for helping me out last night." She half turned. "And look who found us."

"Roo." Ares sat down in the straw, and panted.

Argo snorted softly, nuzzling Xena in the chest. She let her head rest against the mare's side for a long moment, and breathed in the familiar scent of horse and stable, letting it calm her. Then she straightened, and gave the horse a pat. "Ok.. let's get going." She saddled Argo, and resumed her weapons, feeling the familiar weight of her sword with something approaching relief against the still hostile atmosphere around her.

She walked the mare outside, and hauled herself up into the saddle, settling her feet in the stirrups and letting her knees find their accustomed placed against the mare's shoulders. The sun was merciless, and she felt her skin warm under it, and settled her armor with a sigh.

The path to the Centaur Village was, thankfully, shaded, and Argo made good time despite the thick, warm air. Ares trotted alongside, his tongue lolling out, and Xena remembered to stop for water for both them, and herself when she felt a sweat break out.

She pulled up next to the totems, and waited, and minutes later a sentry appeared, stepping soundlessly out of the forest and sidling up to her, their heads on a level. "Tyldus sent word." Xena said, shortly.

The sentry nodded. "Come."

Curious, Xena mused, as she guided Argo through the neatly made village, around groups of centaurs going about their lives. I feel more welcome here than with the Amazons. Glances were being cast her way, as always, but they lacked the suspicious tinge evident in the ones she'd been getting this morning and some drifted over into quiet sympathy.

She slowed Argo to a halt next to the leader's large compound, and slid off the mare's back. "Ares, you stay here, ok?"

"Roo." The wolf panted unhappily, but settled down next to Argo's big hooves.

Xena let a tiny smile appear briefly, then sobered, and walked towards the hut, aware of the quiet around her, and the faint hollow impact of her boots against the wood that lined the path. She raised her hand, and let it fall gently against the wooden doorway, it's height well over her head, and it's breadth twice that of her shoulders.

"Come." The deep voice rumbled from within, and she pushed the door open, and let her vision adjust to the relative darkness inside before she continued walking and let the door fall shut behind her.

Tyldus was standing near the window, his back to the sun pouring into it, and his arms crossed over his bare chest. He was a large centaur, with thick auburn red hair, and a beard to match, and old, wise eyes. "Hello, Xena." He moved to the table near his work area and picked up a wineskin. "May I share this with you?"

The warrior inclined her head, and walked forward, until she was standing by his side near the table. "Hello, Tyldus. You look well."

The Centaur poured a healthy mug full of wine and handed it to her, then took one of his own. "As I can be, yes.. though I wish you and I could meet on matters less tragic." He took a sip and regarded her solemnly. "Thank you for coming out here… I wasn’t sure when I would see you.. I know you don’t stay in any one place very long." He took another sip. "In fact, I admit to being shocked when Kaleipus told me you were at home."

Xena stared at the table surface, and took several swallows of the sweet, rich wine. "Things change." She finally allowed, raising her head and giving him a guarded look. "I’m sorry about Kaleipus.. he was a good person. And a good friend."

Tyldus sighed. "That he was." A quick glance took in Xena’s face. "The coming of the darkness has been known to us for some time, Xena.. I do not fault you for what happened."

The warrior turned and paced to the window, staring out at the Centaur village without really seeing it. "I fault me, Tyldus." She answered quietly. "There are a thousand things I could have done to change what happened." Automatically, her eyes found a certain spot, in a certain part of the center of the collection of dwellings, as a wistful memory tickled her.

The Centaur moved over in back of her, and placed a large, muscular hand on her shoulder. "It would have happened anyway, I fear. Perhaps not at that very time, or very place, but still." He waited for her to turn and meet his eyes, and she did. "It came, and you were its target."

A slow nod of her dark head. "I know that."

They regarded each other for a long moment. "All of our Nation loved your son, Xena." Tyldus said gently. "He was a fine lad."

Xena’s eyes and shoulders dropped, and she let her hands rest limply on her thighs, as she leaned against the wall behind her. "He didn’t deserve to have me as a mother, that’s for sure." She muttered bitterly. "I owe you a great deal of thanks for taking care of him."

There was dark compassion in the Centaur’s gray eyes as he regarded her. "You owe us nothing, Xena.. it was a labor well spent, and know this, he was never happier, never, than when he came back from Amphipolis after you acknowledged him." He paused, and pursed his bearded lips. "He was very proud of being your son, you know that."

Weary blue eyes searched his face. "My being his mother got him killed, Tyldus" Xena replied quietly. "I would have been better off keeping to my promise, and staying the Hades out of his life, and we both know it."

The Centaur sighed. "Perhaps." He conceded. "But knowing you gave him great joy, Xena…I do not think, having been a teacher of his for many years, that he would have wished otherwise." He paused. "Despite the danger."

No. Xena admitted privately, having known him. Probably not. "Thank you."

An awkward silence fell, then Tyldus cleared his throat. "I.. wanted to give you this.. " He moved his big body over to a cabinet, and opened it. "It’s not much.. you know we’re not the kind that saves things. " He pulled out a bundle wrapped in dark brown linen. "This was his."

Xena looked at him for a long moment, then took a deep breath and walked over, taking the packet from his hands, and feeling the roughness of the linen brush against her skin. She looked at it, and ran a gentle fingertip across its surface. "Thanks." She felt her voice close to breaking, and cleared her throat. "I'm in your debt.. for a lot of things."

The Centaur shuffled his hooves a bit. "Things do change." His eyes met hers. "How’s your friend?"

The warrior was glad of the change of subject. "All right." She tucked the bundle under her arm. "She’s been through a lot.. but she’s tough."

Tyldus smiled wryly. "You know, every time it rains I think of you both."

Xena gazed past his shoulder, out the window, to a certain spot. "Yeah." She flicked her eyes over him. "Any messages you need taking back to the Amazons?"

The Centaur grunted. "Not from me, but.. " He cocked his head. "Ah.. the pitter patter of little centaur feet. " His eyes went to the door. "Come in, my lad."

Xena turned, to see Xenon standing there, a shyly uncertain look on his adorable face. "Hullo." He took a few hesitant steps toward her.

The warrior knelt, and motioned him forward. "Hello, Xenon."

The Centaur boy trotted forward, and threw his arms around her neck. "You feel better now?" His high voice warbled in her ear. "No more mad?"

She hugged him, and patted his back. "No more mad, Xenon." She answered quietly. "You got a message for your mom?"

He pulled back his curly blond head, and blinked at her. "My birthday’s comin up."

Xena couldn’t help a smile. "I know."

"She promised me a real bow." Xenon thrust out his chin, and looked remarkably like his mother.

"I’ll remind her." The warrior assured him solemnly. "Anything else you want?"

His pale lashes quivered. "Want my friend back."

Xena felt the pain grab her chest like a vise. "I.. I know.. Xenon.. I do too." She whispered tightly, as she hugged him again. "I really do."

She sighed, as she released him, and stood, at the very limit of her control. Her eyes went to the silently watching Centaur. "Thanks again, Tyldus."

He nodded. "Be well, Xena."

She walked out, leaving the two Centaurs behind, and went to Argo, who shoved her nose into Xena’s chest and whuffled hard. She moved around to the mare’s side, and hugged her neck, burying her face into the warm skin for a long, aching moment. Gods.. it hurts all over again.

She straightened up by will alone, and tucked the bundle under a saddle strap. "C’mon, Ares.. let’s go." She called to the wolf, who stood and shook himself, as she pulled herself up into the saddle, and collected the mare’s reins.

They moved out across the central area, and she stopped the mare in that one particular spot for a quiet moment, dusting off a set of happier memories before she headed Argo back out onto the path.

But the thought of going back into the Amazon’s company now.. Xena winced. I feel.. raw. Not a good sign. She let Argo meander at will among the tall trees, picking no particular path, until she looked up, and found the mare had wandered close to a small, chuckling brook that ran alongside a thickly overgrown rock ledge. Her breath caught. Fate? Or her own unconscious prompting of the mare?

As if in a dream, she slid down off Argo’s back, almost falling as her knees refused to bear her weight for an instant. She held onto the mare’s tack until her body cooperated, then unstrapped the bundle from the saddle and stumbled towards the rocks, splashing through the water as though it wasn’t even there.

Impatiently, she pulled aside the bushes, then drew her sword and hacked at them, clearing herself a rough path. Moments later, and she was under the ledge, tucking her legs up and letting her head rest against the cold rock surface as she looked around the tiny hiding place. A whine distracted her, and she glanced up as Ares crawled under the rock next to her, shaking his thick fur to rid it of the water from the creek.

It didn’t look all that different, she mused. A small place, sure.. the rock tight over her head, but she hadn’t cared about that then. Moss covered walls, and the sound of water flowing, within the reach of her hand. It smelled like green, and water, and the black earth the underbrush was growing in, and she let herself breathe that in before she laid the brown linen package on her lap, and slowly untied it.

First, she pulled out his few pieces of clothing, bright among them the blue tunic that had been her gift over the winter. She fingered it, and brought it up to her face, breathing in his scent, clinging to the remembrance of how his body felt when she’d held him. How his voice sounded. Gods.. Solon.. I barely had a chance to…

With a sigh, she cut the thought off, and settled the tunic over her shoulder, peering down into the bundle. Small things, a cup, shaped for a boy’s hand. A carefully tended flint and tinder, mark of responsibility, and his growing maturity. A neatly rolled parchment, which, unrolled revealed a very familiar hand. A few lines were enough to stir memories of their meeting, and she let the scroll close gently. He must have coaxed Gabrielle into giving him that… she let a fingertip gently touch a well formed letter.

Another look down. Toys, a few of them, two wooden chariots and a stuffed doll that.. She looked closer, and closed her eyes as tears started running down her face in silence. A stuffed thing that evoked her image, tiny bits of leather and all, that was pounded out of shape from long cuddling.

She let the grief overcome her, too tired to resist it any more, and curled up into a ball, feeling the harsh scrape of the stone against her skin and not caring. What was the point? She’d lost, and she knew it.. the two biggest nightmares of her life were true, and it was her fault.. just like she’d always known it would be.

She’d hoped.. and hoped, that maybe.. just maybe she’d gotten lucky this time. Maybe she’d paid enough for the things she’d done.

Stupid, Xena, very stupid. You’ll never pay enough, and everyone you care for is going to pay right along with you. Everyone. And every time she looked at Gabrielle, she saw all over again the price the bard had paid, and would now continue to pay for the rest of her life.

And Solon.. he was just a boy.

A bleak self hatred grabbed her. I should have let those damned rocks take me with Callisto.. I have no right to keep doing this.. keep hurting people. Solon.. I'm sorry.. She felt Ares press up against her, as the wolf sensed her distress, and tried to clean her face with a warm tongue. "You should get away from me too, Ares." She got out in a hoarse whisper. "I don’t want you to get hurt."

The wolf only cuddled closer, shoving his nose under her chin with an anxious whine. Helplessly, she curled her arms around him, and cried into his fur.

It was, Gabrielle mused, a very strange feeling. She'd never tried to use their connection like this.. though she knew Xena had, and on more than one occasion. It was kind if like closing your eyes really tight, and trying to find a candle with your hands.. you moved very cautiously, feeling for the warmth, and then trying to figure out where it was.

Only this wasn't warmth, it was misery, and the closer she got, the more she felt it, until she briefly considered abandoning the search, lest she make it worse by her presence. That lasted all of three heartbeats, though, and she pushed on, helpless to prevent her intense drive to find the warrior.

She pushed through a final, thick wall of underbrush, and stopped short on seeing Argo's familiar bulk, as the mare grazed quietly next to a small stream. The air was so thick it seemed breathless, and she stopped to wipe the damp hair out of her eyes before she took several, uncertain steps towards the horse, her eyes roving the surroundings for any sign of her partner.

Argo raised her head as she came near, and whickered, shifting big hooves on the turf and butting her in the chest with an impatient nose.

"Hi, Argo." Gabrielle murmured softly. "Where's Xena, huh?" She stood still, and looked carefully around her, freezing when she spotted the freshly cut branches on the thick bushes across the stream. She studied the overhang, and as she did so, somehow, she just knew that was where the warrior was hiding.

Now what? She asked herself silently. She finds a private place to go grieve, Gabrielle.. she sure doesn’t want you hanging around.. best idea is to just go back to the village, now that you know where she is, and that she's safe, right?

Right. But she didn’t turn to go, half of her wanting out of the clearing, the other half driving her forward, towards a soulmate whose pain was pulling her in despite the fact that she herself was the main cause of it. At least… she rationalized desperately. At least she should know that I.. that I care.. about what she's going through.

She took a breath. "Xena…" She spoke aloud, knowing her voice would carry across the mostly silent forest glade with only the crickets and some lethargically calling birds to compete with. "I… I know you're hurting.. I… know you don't want me around here.. " The pain of that stopped her speech for a long moment. "B.. but I was worried about you… so I… um.. I'm going to take off, ok.. I'll.. be um.. back at the village." The silence soaked into her, as now even the birds seemed to be holding their breaths, and she straightened Argo's mane with idle, heartsick hands as she realized she wasn't going to get a response.

All I could do, right? She whispered faintly to herself. Some things you just can't change, you can't fix.. Gabrielle.. this is one of them. This is always going to lie between us. "All right.. well, take care of yourself, ok?" Her voice choked up, and she held onto the mare's neck for a long moment before she straightened, and glanced around, looking for a easy path out.

"Gabrielle." Her name stopped her cold, in a voice so hoarse and weary she almost didn't recognize it. She turned and faced the rock outcropping, her steps taking her to the very edge of the water.

"I'm here." She answered quietly, nervously. And waited.

A long pause. "I could use a friend right now." Came the quiet, exhausted plea.

"Why do you always expect the worst?" She had once asked Xena, in a fit of exasperation.

"Because then, when it doesn't happen, I'm pleasantly surprised. " Had come the warrior's wry answer.

Now, standing there in this hot, muggy forest, Gabrielle understood exactly what she meant. "I'll be right there." She knew her voice was shaking, but it didn't matter, as she stepped heedless into the creek, splashing through water that came halfway up her thighs as though it didn't exist. She reached the edge of the outcropping and put a hand on it, ducking her head down, and crawling into the dark space without hesitation.

A warm hand met hers, and she felt the familiar jolt of contact as their bodies recognized each other. She blinked, and let her eyes adjust as her partner slowly came into focus in front of her. One look at the tear stained face, and she forgot everything.

Forgot about their fighting, forgot about Britannia, about Chin, about anything other than the fact that her soulmate was here, and was in terrible pain, and needed her desperately. She scrambled forward and pulled Xena into her arms, tucking the dark head against her chest and stroking it gently.

There was no resistance. None. Hands wrapped around her body and held on, as she wound their bodies together, never stopping her gentle stroking, or the soft murmurs of love and encouragement that came from her without asking. That came straight from her soul, talking to it's other half in words, in a bare truth between them that stripped away the fear that had kept them apart.

"I'm so tired of hurting." Came Xena's bare whisper. "Me..other people.. you…I can't stand it."

"I know.. " The bard uttered back. "I feel it too.. it hurts so much." She let her own tears spill into the dark hair beneath her chin. "Sometimes.. I don't think it's possible to keep going."

"I don't think I can." An aching admission. "I just want to lay down and not get up."

Gabrielle stared at the moss covered rock through watery eyes, as she stroked the soft, dark hair, afraid to think about just how much that idea appealed to her. She wouldn't leave without Xena.. the warrior wouldn't go without her.

But together? The thought of sinking down into a formless peace in Xena's arms almost overwhelmed her with a wistful craving. "Where you go, I go." Her voice was cracking, but she knew Xena had heard her.

It was as though saying it brought a kind of peace all it's own, and a rejoining of part of themselves at a level so deep she'd never even sensed it before. She closed her eyes, and let herself drift in silence.

Knowing in her heart that she'd just come home.

A rumbled of thunder rolled over head, and she felt a puff of fitful air trickle into their haven, bringing a hint of rain to her, and a welcome cooling. She saw the sun darken, and the colors change as the light was filtered through lowering clouds, making the greens deeper, and enriching the deep tints of the wildflowers scattered in the underbrush.

It was a curious feeling, this finding again of a core inside herself that she'd thought long gone. It was a grounding, and returning to her of a sense of certainty, in a life that had very little. Only this time she was conscious of having made a choice, to join her life, and her heart, and her soul to the woman she held closely in her arms.

Knowing the risks, no longer blinded to the dangers, or to their own shortcomings.

She felt the stark pain thrumming from her soulmate lessen, and change, as their wills mingled. "It's what they want, you realize that." She heard herself whisper.

Long silence. Then finally Xena took a breath. "Yes."

And then she felt it, a pulse of energy that was her partner's strong will regaining control, and their combined stubbornness rejected the notion of quitting. Xena straightened up, and shifted, moving to put her back against the wall next to the bard, and sliding an arm across her shoulders.

"Thanks." She leaned her dark head against Gabrielle's fair one. "I really needed that."

Gabrielle captured her hand, and lifted it unselfconsciously, pressing her lips against the backs of her fingers. "I think I did too." She closed her hand around the warrior's, and gazed out as the pattering of rain drops invaded their lair.

"He was born here." Xena's voice startled her, and she glanced quickly at the somber profile, then around at the crevice.

The warrior let her head rest against the moss covered stone. "I.. think that was the most alone I've ever felt."

Gabrielle took a quick breath, and let it out. "Xena, I…don't think I belong here." She let her voice drop into a whisper.

A hand gently caressed her cheek. "You're wrong." The warrior's bloodshot blue eyes regarded her. "You're a part of me… this is a part of me.. I don't want you to be afraid of it."

"I'm not…" The bard stopped, then buried her face into Xena's shoulder. "It's so hard to live with this, Xena." She groaned. "You're in here, hurting so.. and it's all my fault."

Xena regarded her quietly. "Gabrielle.." She hesitated, then let her hand stroke the soft red gold hair spilling over her chest. "I know you didn't want this to happen." And she closed her eyes and let that seep into her soul. "You followed your heart… it's not your fault."

"It is." The bard sobbed. "I was so sure I was right…I was so sure you were wrong… damn it, Xena.. how can you even look at me?" She clenched her fists.

Fingers forced her chin up, and she reluctantly opened her eyes, to see the warrior's inches from her. "Because I love you." She answered huskily. "Because you forgave me." She shook her head a little. "Gabrielle.. what happened wasn't your fault, it was mine."

She would do that. The bard foggily realized. She would take the responsibility away from me and put it on herself. "No." She responded softly. "I'm not going to let you do that." She took a breath. "This is what you live with, every day, isn't it? The knowledge that there are things you did that you can never apologize enough for?" She read the truth in Xena's eyes. "If you can.. I can."

Tears filled the blue eyes again. "I don't want that.. I don't want you to have to live with that." Xena told her with quiet grief. "I'd rather take it all."

Gabrielle felt something settle within her. "I know that." She pressed Xena's fingers to her lips again. "I can't let you… I love you too much." She took a deep breath, and glanced around. "Why here?"

The warrior studied her for a long moment, then let her shoulders drop in defeat. "Needed a place that would.. be more or less safe… couldn't do it around my army.. and we were in enemy territory. " A breath. "Came out here.. and I found this spot.. " She looked out. "It was raining..just like now. He… " She stopped. "I didn't have an easy time."

Gabrielle felt cold memory sweep over her. At least she'd had Xena there. "Gods." She breathed, sliding an arm around the taller woman. "I don't know what I would have done without you there for me." And that was true, despite what happened after.

Xena smiled weakly. "It was cold, and I was miserable… it hurt… I was bleeding… " Her face tightened. "I'd been sick most of the time before.. and it took a long time, but I just kept… " She stopped. "Finally it was over." She sighed and looked down at her hands, which held smudges of the rich black earth around them. "And there he was.. this little scrap that was part me, and part Borias." She paused. "I remember thinking Borias would have been so glad to have had a son."

"Oh, Xena." Gabrielle found herself crying again, understanding more about her partner in one afternoon than she had in a long time. "That must have hurt so much."

A slow nod. "It did." The warrior closed her eyes. "Gods, how it did." She tucked Gabrielle's head down under her chin and hugged her close. "But you know what… even with all that pain, and even though that child reminded me of all the things wrong I'd done in my life… I still loved him." She felt the bard take a sudden breath. "I should have remembered that with you and Hope, Gabrielle. She was your child.. and I was too blinded by fear to see that." She rocked her gently as she felt Gabrielle's body heave with sobs. "You loved her.. and I'm so… so.. sorry."

They both felt a last, final barrier dissolve between them, as silence settled a gentle blanket over the grotto, save the gentle rhythmic drumming of the rain, and the soft, unpressing burble of the creek's clean water.

Continued in Part 4

Standard Disclaimer - These characters, most of them, belong to Universal, and Renaissance Pictures, and whoever else has a stake in Xena: Warrior Princess. This is written just in fun, and no copyright infringement was intended.

Specific Story Disclaimers:

Violence – Violence - yes, there will be violence of a moderately graphic nature in this story.

Emotional distress - I have to put in a disclaimer here for this, because this story, unlike most of my other stories, is an extremely dark one. There is not a whole lot of humor here, and most everyone ends up not being happy through most of the story. IF you're looking for a warm and fuzzy tale, this ain't it. You might want to give this one a miss.

Subtext - As in all my stories, this one is based on the premise of two people who are very much in love with each other. They happen to both be women. There is no graphically depicted action here.. but if the thought of this gives you a problem, find a different story to read. There are lots of very good general fiction Xena stories that can be found on Xeno's page.

I'm not offering any goodies for the phobes this time round. But if you feel like I've beaten you over the head with angst in this one, then send me your snail mail address, and I'll forward over some Girl Scout Original Mint cookies, and some milk. That always makes me feel better.

 Any and all comments are always welcome. You can email them to:

 mailto:merwolf@bellsouth.net

Darkness Falls - Part 4

By Melissa Good

Gabrielle wondered how long she'd been focusing on the soft, tiny leafed ferns at the edge of the rock, watching the rain and the light wind make them dance, and brush against the stone surface. She felt peaceful, but very drained, and was content to lay where she was, comfortably pillowed against Xena's chest, and just watch the droplets fall.

She could hear the slow, steady beat of her partner's heart vibrating against the back of her head, and felt the quietly hypnotic pressure as Xena's hands found the aching stiffness in her neck and attacked it, then moved upwards and gently massaged her temples. "Mmm." She sighed. "Thanks.. that feels great."

The hands finished their work, and settled back around her in two warm bands around her bare midriff, and she covered Xena's hand with her own as she returned her attention to the rain. "I think it's gonna rain on the Amazon's parade, Xena." Her voice was still hoarse from crying and she spared a brief, wistful thought towards a mug of hot tea.

"Thought it was a party.. not a parade." The warrior mumbled softly

"Party, parade.. it's the Amazons.. same thing." The bard replied. "How are you doing?"

Xena sighed. "Better." She freed one hand from the bard's grasp, and picked up a piece of crumpled linen, dipping it in the creek and squeezing the excess out, then gently dabbing Gabrielle's swollen eyes with it before pressing its coolness against her own. "Feel like I just ran from here to Amphipolis and back."

"Mph." The bard cleared her throat a little. "I don't feel so bad, then." She yawned. "But it's a good kind of tired."

Xena nodded against the top of her head. "Uh huh." The grief was still there, but a layer of insulation had been added, built from the restored faith she now felt running between them, and she realized that this was what she had been needing. Ever since it happened… Gabrielle had needed her support, yes, but she'd been unwilling.. or.. be honest, Xena, unable to admit that she needed the bard's help to get through this just as much. Or more.

She'd had to come to terms with that when she'd heard Gabrielle's voice across the creek, and felt the sudden, desperate craving for her touch, her presence.. it was a dire pleading that she could not have resisted, and she was so, so grateful that the bard had sniffed her out and given her the chance to allow those ragged wounds to receive the only treatment she knew would heal them. She'd been lying to herself, in thinking she was handling it, that she was strong enough to cope and not burden the grieving Gabrielle with her problems.

Stupid, Xena. You are her biggest problem, haven't you figured that out yet? But it had felt so good to just let all her defenses drop, and feel the bard's gentle hands, and voice reach deep into places inside her where only Gabrielle had ever been allowed. Places that had known stark abandonment during their separation, and had shown her, in plain light, exactly how much of her was dependent on the love, and the trust she'd received from her partner. It had been a harrowing lesson.

Solon was gone. It hurt, but it was true, and she couldn't let his death become a haunting shadow between them. She'd forgiven Gabrielle… gods knew it had been a setup form the start, and they'd both fallen neatly into it. Now she had to get the bard to start forgiving herself. Xena took a breath, and pulled the linen wrapped bundle over to her, and fished inside it, showing Gabrielle its contents.

"Oh.." The bard fingered the scroll sadly. "Yeah.. I gave this to him after that whole slaver thing." She let out a soft breath. "I was doing one for him of our adventure together."` She glanced up at her silent partner. "He made me promise to put in all the details of the fight at the end." She paused. "I was going to leave one or two out."

That got a tiny smile from the warrior, who picked up the stuffed toy, and handed it to her. "Wonder if he got teased for this?"

Gabrielle handled the doll with careful hands. "Oh.. Xena… " She touched the leather scraps with a gentle finger. "I think.. I think it's supposed to be you."

The warrior let out a soft sigh. "I guess…yeah.." She gazed at the doll. "Tyldus said he… " She paused. "He was kinda excited when he came back after that whole mix up."

"He loved you very much." Gabrielle told her gently, running a fingertip over the doll’s battered surface. "You were very much a hero to him."

Xena pressed her cheek against the bard's pale hair. "I know. Funny how life turns out sometimes." She shook her head. "I don't really understand how that happened."

Gabrielle glanced up at her, with a quiet smile. "I do." She returned her attention to the doll. "I always liked stuffed toys."

"Yeah." The soft response burred in her ear. "I.. had a stuffed . a.. um.. a dragon.. kind of thing when I was small." Faded purple, and much dragged about.. she could remember, barely, toddling through the inn with it banging along behind her. Cyrene had hated the thing… and kept trying to steal and hide it from her, but she always found it again. The innkeeper could never quite bring herself to destroy it.

The bard's eyebrow crept up a trifle. "How small?" She loved these tiny glimpses of her partner's childhood. She had a mind's eye picture of Xena as a dark haired, feisty tyke, miniature scowl and all, and would occasionally indulge herself in imagining her infant adventures. She'd even, secretly, invented a couple, written in a simple, children's story like voice, and had let Cyrene read them. The innkeeper had howled, and complimented her on her accuracy, and begged to be allowed to show her offspring the tales. Gabrielle had clapped her hands around them, and hidden them as deeply as she could in her scroll box.

"Very small." Xena assured her. "Tiny." Her hand lifted and her fingers described a minute amount. "I used to sleep with it."

Gabrielle let her hand trace the length of the long, muscular thigh her arm was leaning against, and gave it a little pat. "Somehow.. love.. I can't picture you that small." She said the word this time without flinching.

Xena sighed. "It was a long time ago."

"Did it have a name?" Gabrielle asked idly, playing with the dark leather outfit the toy was wearing. "I.. had a.. it was just a rag.. kind of floppy doll…I called it.. " Her lips quirked gently. "Princess."

"I don't remember." The warrior muttered.

Gabrielle arched her neck, and regarded her partner with a gentle, knowing half smile.

Xena sighed. "Flameball." She watched the bard's jaw clench as she clamped down on laugh. "Yeah.. I know. I used to try and get Digger to slay him, but it never worked out." She felt the heavy clamp on her chest start to relax, as the rhythm of the rain soothed her, and Gabrielle's presence buffered her against the ache of her memories. It felt so good just to sit and talk, without pressure, or worry that something she said would start the tension all over again.

The bard smiled. "Lila was always stealing Princess.. I'd find her hanging from the window supports.. or in the barn.. she was always getting in trouble." Her eyes flicked to Xena's face. "Like a certain Warrior Princess I know."

"Me?" Xena protested gently "What about a certain Amazon Princess?"

A grin tugged at Gabrielle's lips. "Maybe it's that princess thing." She turned her gaze outside again. "Xena, it's raining a lot harder now.. is Argo going to disown us?"

The warrior grunted, then poked her head outside the rock into the rain, squinting against its force. "Nah.. she's under shelter." The mare had tucked herself neatly under a thick stand of trees, and was looking out at them with a cross expression. "Um… did you tell Ephiny where you were going?"

Gabrielle's eyes widened slightly. "Uh… no.. " She half turned and looked at her partner. "I couldn't.. I.. Xena, I didn't know where you… and I didn't want her to.. "

"Shh." The warrior cupped her cheek. "Ok..ok.. I get it." She peered back out at the weather. "Well, we can head back."

Gabrielle snuggled closer. "Yeah, we could." To Hades with Ephiny, her mind crankily decided. I like this too much.

They both looked out at the driving rain, then at each other. "We could wait until it slowed down a little." Xena amended thoughtfully. I am kinda drained.. she looks like it too.. wouldn’t hurt to just rest here for a bit. "Ephiny’s going to be chewing the chobos anyway."

"Erf." Gabrielle winced. "I just got her to get the splinters out from last time." She paused. "I.. um…I told her about what happened." She nibbled her thumb. "I think I kinda shocked her." Her voice was subdued. "And then I felt you.. and I just kinda took off. She probably thinks I’ve lost my mind."

Xena regarded her. "You didn’t have to…tell her all that stuff if you didn’t want to."

The bard turned around gave her a very direct look. "And have her think I'm totally blameless? No, Xena.. that’s not what I’m about. That’s not what we’re about." She put a hand on the warrior’s chest, and absorbed the look she was getting from her partner. "I want her to understand that."

The warrior curled her fingers around the bard’s smaller ones, and lifted her hand, gently kissing the palm. "All right." She replied in quiet acceptance. "Old habit, I guess."

Gabrielle curved her hand around the planed cheekbone and let her thumb brush against soft skin. She nodded in knowing confirmation. "She needs to accept that there’s a lot about me that changed… just like I need to."

Xena took a resigned breath, but nodded back. "Maybe you’ll find out.. after a while.. that the changes aren’t as much as you thought."

The bard smiled gently. "Wishful thinking?"

The warrior’s eyebrows quirked. "Life experience." She admitted in a small voice. "There are a lot of times when I wished I had changed more than I had."

Gabrielle let her fingers continue their exploration, wiping off the rain that Xena had collected when she poked her head outside. She watched the blue eyes flutter closed as she touched her partner’s dark eyebrows, and smoothed them even, before reaching up and pushing back the damp locks of hair. "I think you’ve changed more than you realize." She saw Xena’s throat move as she swallowed a few times. "The person you were describing yourself as in Chin… " She paused. "Would have scared me too much to be friends with them.. I think."

Xena leaned her head back against the rock, and let her eyes drift open. "I was an animal." She acknowledged softly. "Lao Ma made me see that.. but she couldn’t give me a substitute for the wonderful, primal satisfaction being an animal gave me." She blinked slowly. "Now.. I feel a little sorry for her."

Gabrielle tilted her head in question. "Sorry? Why?"

Xena gave her a wry smile. "She never knew what this felt like… " She captured the bard’s hand and brushed her lips against it. "She told me the discipline would set you free… but I think she really was too scared to make herself that vulnerable." She shook her head. "Not that I blame her.. not in the world she lived in."

The bard let out a short breath. "If she’d been alive, what would you have done?"

Oh oh.. Alarm bells sounded quietly. Fortunately, Xena reflected, the answer was an easy one. "Nothing." She let herself shrug. "She knew I owed her… she wasn’t sending for a friend, Gabrielle.. she was sending for a killer." She took a breath slowly. "I think she’d have been surprised if we’d gotten a chance to talk.. I.. know I'm not the person she remembered me as.." She paused, and swallowed hard, remembering. "But I don’t… even though at that point I’d thought.. I um… " She glanced down at her hands. "I’d thought I’d lost you.. even then. I don’t…. it wouldn’t have…" No.. Lao Ma would have been startled at the complex person that had grown from the wild child she'd rescued. She'd become something far different than the Chinese woman had envisioned were possible.. though she knew Lao Ma would have remade her in her own image if she could have.

She thought about that. About the empty peace she'd achieved to allow her to use the life essence as Lao Ma had taught her to do. Empty in that it focused on her detachment from everything, and everyone, and she'd had to empty herself of everything to find that. Even Gabrielle. And while that had let her achieve her goal, the price had been far, far too high. She'd seen the world through Lao Ma's eyes for a moment there, channeling the forces that the woman had known, in the solitude that she also had known, breaking it only to allow, for a short while, a stranger from far off in that she barely understood.

But it hadn't been discipline that had tamed her, in the end, she mused. It had been love. Yeah, you'd have been surprised, old friend. We would have met again as equals, but on a far different playing field. "It wouldn't.. have been the same."

"Shh." Gabrielle touched her fingertips against the warrior’s hesitant speech. "It’s all right.. I didn’t mean to… I mean, it wasn’t really right for me to ask that." She sighed. "Considering everything that had happened.. I guess it just hurt a lot to be left behind."

"But you… " Xena started, her brows creasing. Wanted to stay.. you said that…

"I know. I was… I guess I was hoping you’d try to change my mind." The bard quietly replied. "I guess I didn't really want to accept that what you were doing… who you were doing it for.. was more important that I was." She quietly remembered the miserable feeling that had been. "Would you have kept me from going if I’d insisted?" She knew the answer, she just wanted to hear Xena say it.

The warrior dropped her gaze. "No.. I.. was hoping you would." She mumbled. "When you just.. said you couldn’t… I figured you’d just finally…given up on me." That last hug had hurt, more than just about anything else in the world had ever done. She'd known, walking away from that slight, lone figure on the pier that she was giving up something she couldn’t afford to lose, and that was the moment, she knew, that she decided she wasn't coming back.

Knowing that was the only thing that kept her sane, in those long weeks of travel, where images of her loss kept her meager company, and Gabrielle was never far from her thoughts. She held her memories close, and focused on the good ones, which let her survive until the boat touched shore in the east at last, and she could do what she needed to do, and then give up the stinking, miserable life that she no longer had any interest in living.

Seeing Gabrielle in Chin had forced her to change her mind, because even if they were no longer soulmates, she still had a responsibility for the bard. And once she'd seen those heartsick eyes down in that dungeon…she'd known that somewhere, somehow.. there was love still in both of them. And that was worth living for. Worth fighting for.

Gabrielle leaned forward and touched her forehead to the warrior’s. "We were both pretty blind."

Xena nodded, and pulled her in close for a hug. "Yeah.. we were." She smiled as Gabrielle relaxed completely against her. "I'm glad we got another chance." She added simply.

Gabrielle smiled against the skin of her neck, and nibbled it a little. "Me too."

They rested in silence for a while, watching the rain come down. Then Xena glanced to her left. "Um… we have a problem."

The bard’s head snapped up. "What?"

Xena gestured with her jaw. "Flood." The creek was filling rapidly, and already was lapping at the edge of their hiding spot. "Been raining for hours now."

"Mmm…. " Gabrielle studied the water. "Ephiny was saying how the river near them was pretty high too… I hope… "

They looked at each other. "Oh boy." Xena muttered.

"It’s not my fault." The bard protested. "Just because they’ve never, ever had a flood hit the village, it doesn’t mean they’re going to now just because I’m here." She bit her lip. "But I guess we’d better go see." A roll of thunder sounded overhead.

They looked at each other. "It’s NOT my fault." Gabrielle wailed.

Xena hid a grin. "Of course not." She agreed solemnly. "C’mon.. at least they’ll be too busy to glare at me." She packed up the things she’d brought in with her, and nudged the bard out, hearing the soft oath as the rain hit her body.

Gabrielle plunged into the creek, and realized her error as the swift flow threatened to drag her downstream. A moment’s precarious balancing, then safety as a large, warm body got between her and the rocks, and supported her as they crossed. "Thanks." She yelled, hanging on to Xena’s drenched leathers. "You ok?"

"Loving every minute of it." Xena answered, as she plowed out of the creek and hauled the bard up bodily onto the bank, and let Ares down from her arms where he’d made the crossing. They ran to Argo’s hiding place, and soothed the cranky mare, looking out at the trees mostly hidden by the rain. Small rivers of mud were beginning to run between the horse’s big hooves, and she stamped a little, splattering the dark stuff all over their boots and causing Ares to shake violently.

"Hey!" Gabrielle yelped, hopping out of the way. "Cut that out." She watched Xena fasten the bundle to the mare’s saddle straps, then gather her reins, and vault aboard. She grabbed the offered hand, and felt herself lifted up, swinging her leg over Argo’s back and settling into place behind the warrior’s comfortingly solid bulk which neatly blocked the rain.

She had it better than Xena did, she realized smugly, as she laid her head against the warrior’s back and wrapped her arms around her leather clad stomach. She could feel the rain driving against her wrists, and felt Xena shaking her head frequently to clear the hair from her eyes.

Argo was slowed to a walk, as the rain drove against them so hard, Gabrielle could barely see the outlines of the trees they were passing. "Wow." She yelled, and felt Xena's body shift as the warrior turned to listen. "This is amazing."

"Oh yeah." Xena yelled back, giving her clutching arms a pat. "Hang on.. don't want you washing away."

The bard tightened her grip. "No chance."

They heard the yells long before they hit the village, and as Gabrielle glanced down, she saw a muddy stream taking a set of leathers, draggled feathers included, rapidly away.

"Get that brace up." Ephiny yelled, ducking a pair of running scouts, who were carrying burlap sacks towards a makeshift dam. "Hera’s tits.." The regent cursed, and broke into a run herself, when she saw the hastily erected branch wall teetering. She got her hands on it, and shoved, feeling the weight of it begin to overbalance her. "Push!"

Three Amazons dashed in next to her, and grabbed the branches on either side, throwing their weight together with hers against the wall. They’d gotten the bottom part in place, and were now working on wedging it upright, and stacking burlap sacks of sand against it to block the racing shafts of water that were coursing through the village.

The rain had caught them by surprise, and she hadn’t realized the soil on both sides of the village was that saturated.. instead of absorbing, it turned to sludge, which washed through the huts like a slow moving river taking out small structures in its path. That had got her attention away from the fact that Gabrielle had just.. vanished, and she'd delayed sending out a search party, convincing herself that the bard was well capable of taking care of herself, and had probably simply met up with Xena somewhere.

Ephiny felt the strain start to weaken her, and she closed her eyes, pushing forward with muscles that started to shake even as she cursed at them. "Hurry up… damn it." She growled at the frantically shoveling scouts. "We’re losing it." The rain shoved at her, and at the wall. If they let the wall down, the coursing water would undermine the buildings.. and that would pull down the structures faster than they could brace them up.

But this wall was too heavy.. she could hear the groans from her companions and she felt her own strength flagging, as the force of the water pushed her back, and she felt her feet begin to slip in the soggy ground.

She barely heard the sound of rapidly moving bootsteps behind her, until the weight suddenly lifted off her shoulders, and she stumbled forward, going to her knees in the mud. What the… She half turned and pushed her drenched hair up out of her eyes, reaching a blind hand out and jerking when it touched warm flesh. The rain was blocked, and she looked up to see a dark, towering figure standing over her, arms braced against the wall, legs half bent, taking the weight of it.

A dozen oaths sprang to her mind, starting with ‘Where the Hades have you been?’ but she chucked them all in favor of a friendly pat on the powerfully muscled thigh that was barely inches from her shoulder. A large sack of sand hit the ground next to her, and she glanced up, to see Gabrielle’s face through the driving rain, as the bard put a hand on her shoulder. "You all right, Eph?"

Am I all right? Oh.. sure.. Gabrielle… you just freak out on me, and wander off into the woods for hours and hours.. we can’t find you, can’t find her, the Centaurs tell us she left hours before… "Great, thanks. What about you?" She yelled in the bard’s direction.

Gabrielle tugged another bag into place, and patted her arm. "I'm great, thanks.. sorry I ran out on you before.. we met up in the woods, and decided to try and wait the storm out."

"Right." Ephiny nodded amiably, then struggled to her feet, and started helping shovel sand. "Damn rain took us by surprise.. never saw the water come down like this before."

It took them several hours to get the wall in place, then several more to dump makeshift dams on most of the perimeter, until they were all holed up in the common eating area, which was on the highest ground, had the least mud, and the most space. The dams sluiced the draining water to either side of the village, and kept the interior from too much damage.

It didn’t keep it from leaking though, and they huddled in miserable clumps while the rain kept beating at the thatch roof, and sending splashes of unexpected wetness over them.

"Centaur poop." Solari grunted, as she tried to knock a hardened clump of mud off her leg. They were seated wearily on the benches, trying to keep the candles lit. "If this stuff hardens up, I won’t be able to move."

"Shut up. It’s good for your complexion." Menelda sniped. "Certainly can’t do you any harm."

"Hey!" Solari objected. "Keep your criticism to yourself.. I don’t see you being any spring flower right now." She sniffed rudely. "Stinks like dead pigs around here."

"Watch it, turkey knees." Menelda snapped back. "I shoulda just went back to my place.. it’s drier, and it sure smells better."

Ephiny let out a groan, and cradled her head in her hands. "Shut up, both of you." She started when a thump sounded, then looked up as a mug was set in front of her, steaming gently. "Gods…" She gave Gabrielle a pathetically grateful look. "Where did you get this? Those firepits were sunk."

The bard glanced briefly over her shoulder towards the cooking area. "One of the many skills." She replied, sliding into place next to the regent and cupping her hands around her own mug. "Xena can get ice blocks to burn. Don’t ask me how." She rested her elbows on the table and took a sip of the tea, closing her eyes against the rich, sweet taste. "Gods.. that tastes good."

Ephiny took a gingerly sip, then sighed. "She's got the touch all right… " She eyed the bard quietly. "So… you feeling better now? You looked a little… shaky.. when we parted this afternoon."

Gabrielle nodded quickly. "Oh yeah.. sorry about that… I just.. mm.. I needed some time to think, and I took a walk towards the Centaur village.. met up with Xena on her way back from there. We… um.. we talked for a while.. then it started raining.. so we kind of took shelter.. but then we realized it wasn't stopping, so…" Now , she asks.. with a concerned tone, Gabrielle.. are you all right? The bard predicted wryly.

The regent lowered her voice, and leaned closer. "Gabrielle, is she all right?"

The bard felt a pleasant shock of surprise skitter up her back. "She's… " Her eyes traveled across the dark, hot, damp room and found the dim shadow that was her partner, kneeling against the hearth with Esta in nervous attendance. "They gave her back Solon's stuff…it was kind of hard on her."

Ephiny kept her voice down. "You knew." It wasn't a question. "She was upset, and you knew." Just thinking about it, and remembering Jessan's low, growly voice speaking of the depth of a bond she hardly understood was bringing chills up and down her spine.

Cyrene's voice, in her memory. "It's possible. I've seen it happen. So have you." It was true. "When she bleeds, I hurt." The forest dweller had said, in his remarkably calm voice. It was true. So how had they let themselves drift so far apart.. if it was? It wasn't possible, unless… Ephiny's eyes darkened. Unless there was an outside interference.

A long moment of silence between them, as the bard tried to figure out what to answer. "In a way, yeah." She finally admitted. "I knew she was hurting.. and I went to go find her." There.. that was pretty neutral, she decided. "I was glad I did…we got more stuff worked out."

The regent folded a hand over hers. "Glad to hear it." She grinned wearily, then surveyed the room. "What a mess."

Gabrielle had to agree.. the dining hall was a sea of mud covered, overheated, tired, annoyed Amazons, who were snapping peevishly at each other, as they tried to stay out of the dripping water. Mud was everywhere, darkening the skin of the tired women, and laying its stinking coating in an inches deep layer on the floor. Walking was… the bard winced. Her boots sunk into the sludge, and had to be pulled free with a sucking sound that got rapidly on her nerves.

She spared a glance towards her partner, who had straightened up, and was moving slowly across the room towards them, avoiding the small knots of Amazons, who watched her passing with intent, but not overtly hostile eyes. Xena had twisted her hair back out of the way, and her dark leathers were shaded almost gray with dried mud, which was also caked on her long legs, almost obscuring the heavy armor pieces that covered her knees. After she’d helped get the wall in place, the warrior had gone tirelessly from place to place, moving sacks, loading vital supplies up high out of the water’s reach, and lending her strength and size wherever it was needed.

Gabrielle, slowing down to watch her for a few, rain soaked moments, had felt the old, familiar twinge of pride as she saw the warrior gently nudge several Amazons out of the way, and hoist a wagon yoke up on her shoulders, walking with it through the driving rain as though she were out for a stroll on a fine spring evening. It had sent a nice chill down her spine, and she’d smiled to herself, before she’d gone on to herd the younger Amazons into the healer’s quarters, much to Eponin’s disgust and dismay.

"Gosh, she's strong." One of the girls had whispered, poking her companion in the ribs. "Check that out!"

Gabrielle had just laughed softly, under her breath. Time. That's what they needed.. time to heal, and time for people to forget the fear, and the anger, and the horror of what had been a really terrible thing. The girls had continued their low voiced chatter, as she got them settled in the infirmary.

Sorry Pony.. The bard grinned quietly to herself, as the warrior slipped into place next to her with an almost soundless sigh. "Hey." She waited for the taller woman to brace her elbows on the table, and lean against them wearily, then she tucked a hand around Xena’s upper arm, and leaned against it, feeling the warmth as her cheek touched the warrior’s skin, not caring about the mud that liberally coated both of them.

She knew the room was watching her. Knew Xena knew it too, from the faint chuckle she felt stir the warrior’s breathing, and the sudden pressure as her partner leaned her head against Gabrielle’s own. "Nice tea.. thanks." She mumbled against the warmth.

Xena yawned, feeling the bard flinch at the popping sound from her jaw. "Anytime." She felt physically exhausted, but strangely peaceful, despite the uncomfortable surroundings, and the still edgy tension of the Amazons around her.

It just didn’t matter. Not with Gabrielle here, leaning against her so comfortably. She soaked in the bard’s nearness, and ignored the damp heat that was bringing a sheen of moisture to everyone’s skin including her own. Ignored the desultory drip of water that was landing the odd drop on her shoulders. Ignored the grumbling of the Amazons.

Esta and one helper trudged from table to table, passing out some dried travel rations she managed to rescue from the flood, and slowly, a straggle of women trailed over to the tiny fire, and started preparing bits of food, and drinks.

Ephiny tossed her blond curls back, and gazed at the ceiling. Thunder rumbled overhead, and the pounding intensified, causing the regent to curse silently. "We’re stuck here." She rested her forehead on her hand.

A wash of water glorped under the door, and spread its mucky liquid in yet another layer on the floor, bringing the stink of the nearby river with it. A chorus of groans greeted the rising stench. Several fish came sliding in, one stopping right at Xena’s boot. The warrior idly looked down, as the fish just as idly looked up.

"Grogh" The fish grunted.

Xena booted the noisy creature across the room, watching it slither to a halt next to Esta.

"Grogh!" The cook jumped, and lost her balance, falling with a splat into the mud, as a round of tired chuckles met the sight.

"Whoops." Xena muttered, ducking her head, and staring intently at her interlaced fingers.

Gabrielle buried her face against the warrior’s arm, and pretended not to see. "I can't believe you did that."

The warrior blinked innocently. "Did what?"

They cooked the fish, and managed to swallow that and some dried meat, washed down with tea, and a little cider they’d had stored in the back of the dining hall. After that, it was a matter of finding some spot to lean their heads against, as weariness gradually overcame the discomfort.

Xena leaned back against the wall, and unclipped her armor, lifting it over her head, and setting it down in the mud next to her. Gabrielle needed no other invitation, and she snuggled up against her partner gratefully, not even minding the muggy heat as she wrapped her arms around Xena’s body, and pillowed her head against the taller woman’s chest. She was asleep in a few breaths, much to the warrior's bemusement, as she wrapped a secure arm around the relaxed form .

Ephiny managed to salvage a bit of linen sacking and she folded it into a pillow, laying it onto the tabletop and putting her head down on it. She gazed at the bard enviously, and let her eyes raise to meet Xena’s faintly amused blue ones. "It's good to be the Queen." She drawled, with a twinkle in her eyes.

Xena glanced down at the quietly sleeping form nestled against her, and let an indulgent smile cross her face. "Privileges of rank." She replied dryly. "You get your own personal, stuffed leather, animated warrior pillow."

The regent gave a surprised little laugh. "And here I thought it was all about the politics of power. Now I know the real secret to the romance of the job." She remarked teasingly, then let her eyes drift across the room, and back to Xena's. "What a mess, huh?"

The warrior’s eyes flicked around to the candlelit room, filled with tired and muddy Amazons. "Could be worse." She settled her shoulders a little more comfortably against the wall support.

"Yeah? How?" The regent asked idly. "Let me guess.. we could all be cycling."

Xena’s eyebrow edged upward, along with the corner of her mouth. "We could be in the healer’s place with the kids."

Ephiny thought about that for a minute, then waved a finger. "If I can’t get this mud out of my leathers, I’m gonna end up there anyway." She winced, and shifted. "Gods.. but you do have a point." She admitted. "Pony's gonna kill me for sticking her with them."

The warrior ran a mud stained hand through her hair, and wiped the sweat off her face, sighing a little, and crossing her ankles. "She'll live."

"Xena?" The regent took a breath, and gazed at the grime covered woman.

Candlelight glinted against the pale blue eyes. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for the help." Ephiny let her mouth twitch into a faint smile. "I appreciated it a lot."

That got her a brief, but genuine smile in return. "Glad I was around." Her gaze flicked around the slowly settling room. "Probably good for them to see I’m not always a homicidal maniac."

The regent’s brow creased. "That’s not what they think."

One dark brow rose. "You forget my hearing."

Ephiny felt her face heat. She spent a long moment trying to think of something to say, and realized there just wasn’t anything. "Sorry." She finally muttered.

Xena shrugged one shoulder, careful not to disturb the sleeping bard. "I'm used to it."

The regent studied the shadowed face, an accustomed, unreadable mask, and felt an irrational sense of loss. She had spent months in Amphipolis, getting to know this woman, and had considered her a friend. And she believed Xena had considered her the same. Now, all that was showing was the Warrior Princess, her steely exterior intact.

Except that she’d let Gabrielle back in. That much was obvious. The fingers she had resting against the bard’s bare back never ceased their gentle, soothing motion. Maybe in time, again, they’d have a chance to start seeing her differently, and let what happened fall into perspective as one small corner in the tapestry of her life.

"Xena, I really am sorry. More than I can tell you." Ephiny said softly, watching the still face for a reaction. "I’m glad things worked out." Now her eyes drifted to Gabrielle’s contented face, then flicked back to the warrior’s.

And saw a gentle warmth there. "Thanks."

With a small nod, the regent let her eyes slide closed, preparing herself for an uncomfortable night. She suspected the only one of them that was going to get any decent sleep was the bard.

Xena heard the footsteps first, of course, and reached out a hand to touch the fitfully dozing Ephiny as the soft running neared. "Eph.." The warrior called softly.

"Huh?" Ephiny jerked alert. "What.. I’m awake… it’s purple, I swear." She blinked a few times, then rubbed her temples. "Uh… never mind.. what?" 

Xena moved her chin towards the door. "Trouble." She paused, and quirked an eyebrow. "Purple?"

The Amazon waved her off, and stood, wincing at the stiffness caused by her sleeping position. "Later." She was halfway to the door when it burst open, and a young, dark haired woman stumbled in.

"Menelda.." The girl gasped, almost crashing headlong into the blond regent. "Oh.. Ephiny… it’s Aaileen."

The regent’s eyebrows knitted. "Don’t tell me."

The girl shook her head wildly. "Yes.. she’s in trouble.. it’s now.. I know it wasn’t due for a moon, but still.."

Ephiny whirled, and dodged through the mess of tables, finding the healer at a back table and shaking her shoulder. "Menelda… hey!"

"Uh?" The older woman stirred. "Wha…Ephiny.. what.." She shook her head a little to clear it, then focused on the slim girl at the regent’s side. "Selda.. you’re supposed to be watching things in the infirmary.. what in Hades are you doing here?"

"Looking for you.. " The girl explained breathlessly. "Aaileen’s having her child."

"Can’t be." The healer snorted. "Too early… silly child." No one was really sure if she was referring to Aaileen or the hapless Selda. "She’s just panicking."

Selda glanced at Ephiny. "If you say so.. but she’s broken.. there’s blood.. I don’t know…"

Menelda cursed, and gathered herself up. "Damn… outta my way."

Xena exchanged looks with Gabrielle, who had woken during the conversation, and untangled herself from her taller partner. The warrior stood, and took a breath. "Menelda… you need a hand?"

The healer looked over, and an expression of dark repulsion crossed her face. "Not from you." She spat. "I’ve fixed enough of your damage in there, thanks."

An uneasy shock passed over the sleepy Amazons, as they glanced back at the shadowy form. But Xena merely shrugged, and seated herself again. "Suit yourself." She leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes as the healer swept out of the room, dragging Selda with her.

Very aware, though, of the cold anger radiating from the slim, pale haired bard standing at her side. She reached out and laid a hand on Gabrielle’s thigh, and squeezed it gently. "It’s all right."

Gabrielle let the wave of hurt pass over her, and sat down slowly, collecting the hand that gripped her leg and closing it inside both of her own. "Xena… "

One blue eye opened and regarded her. "I said.. it’s all right."

The bard lowered her voice. "It’s not all right.. I'm not going to put up with them treating you like that." She let her gaze sweep around the room, watching curious eyes avert themselves. "It’s not fair."

Xena sighed, and glanced down at her hands, clasped around Gabrielle’s smaller ones. "Drop it, Gabrielle." She replied quietly. "They’ve got a right to feel the way they do. " She looked up and met the bard’s eyes. "I’ll live."

Gabrielle studied her for a long, tense moment. "No." She replied quietly. "I’m not going to drop it." She took a breath and let it out. "They don’t have the right to judge you, or me, for that matter, and I'm getting sick and tired of it." Her eyes sparkled angrily. "Menelda’s gonna get a piece of my mind tomorrow."

I shouldn’t let her do that. Xena mused, but she couldn’t deny the warm feeling the bard’s fierce protectiveness caused in her. The healer’s rejection had stung, no denying it.. but… aw Hades. "You are, huh?" She let a quiet grin cross her face.

"It’s not funny." Gabrielle snapped, obviously annoyed.

Xena blinked. "I'm not laughing at you." She replied softly. "I.. um.. I just.. you.." She gave up. "Never mind." She let her head rest against the wall, her momentary good mood gone. Then she took a breath, and stood, releasing the bard’s hand. "Sounds like it stopped raining.. I'm gonna get some fresh air." She moved past the silent bard, and went out the back door to the dining hut, to stand in the scant breeze in the quiet of the pre dawn.

She had no idea how long she stood out there, surveying the mess the storm had left behind. The air was thick with moisture, still, and carried the dank scent of the receding water. The moon was escaping the clouds fitfully, drenching the village in wan, silver light, which showed the draggled thatch, and discarded wagons in dispiriting detail.

Xena leaned her back against the bark of a tree just outside the dining hall, and surveyed the damage wryly. We’re probably stuck here helping… She let her eyes close. Gods..

A wistful thought of home passed over her, and she was unable to resist wishing herself there, and away from this Amazon village, where the prickly hostility was, she admitted reluctantly to herself, getting to her. 

A whine distracted her, and she glanced down to see a sleepy Ares crouching against her mud encrusted boots. "Hey boy." Wearily, she dropped to a knee with a squish, and stroked the wolf’s fur. "You wanna go home?"

"Roo." The wolf sighed, and nuzzled her, shaking his head vigorously to rid it of excess clinging mud. "Grrrrr."

Xena sat down in the mud, not caring, and gathered Ares in her arms, hugging him. "Yeah.. I wanna go home too."

"Grrrrrr." The wolf blinked around him with evident displeasure. "Agrrrooo."

"I know…. I don’t like it here much either. " She murmured. "But we gotta stick around and give them a hand, Ares.. it’s just one of those things, OK?" She carefully cleaned a bit of clumped mud out of the wolf’s eyebrows. "They’re your other mommy’s friends, and it’s really important to her that they’re ok, so we have to help out.. even if they’re not nice."

"Agrorrrooo." Ares licked her face, cleaning it thoroughly.

I bet I needed that. Xena reflected quietly, feeling the light breeze cool against her skin. She knew she should have just stayed inside and explained herself to Gabrielle.. but the bard had been so angry.. and she found, uneasily, that she was unwilling to face that.

It scared her. It made her think of the past few months, when anger had been the bard’s most common reaction to just… about everything. She found herself shying away from anything that would cause Gabrielle to react that way to her.. it just… it hurt, it sent stabs into places still so sensitive that she wanted to just curl up and block it all out.

She felt ashamed of that, and was uneasily aware of just how fragile her equilibrium was at the moment, half of her hating the vulnerability, the other half pathetically grateful she still had reason to feel it. "No win situation, Ares." She whispered softly to the wolf.

"Stay still you damned idiot." Eponin sighed, as she tried to hang on to the moaning Aaileen. She looked up thankfully as the door opened, and Menelda came in. "Bout time.. she’s bleeding like a gutted pig here."

Menelda gave the weapon’s master a dour look. "Nice talk, Eponin. Let the woman be, and let me in there."" She gave the dark haired Amazon a shove towards her pallet, and knelt at the side of the suffering Aaileen, examining her carefully. "Damn." Her face grew grim, and she looked up at Selda. "Get that damn fire going, girl.. I need water heated."

Eponin caught the tone in her voice, and moved the girl out of the way, kneeling somewhat unsteadily by the fire and picking up the pieces of half dried wood stacked near the hearth. The healer started to protest, then shook her head, and returned her attention to the girl on the pallet. And she was not much more than a girl, curse it.Her mind sighed. A festival that got a little too festive, and there she was, recipient of a gift that the father, a farm boy too drunk to realize the pretty young girl in the leather bustier was no villager.

Not that they didn’t need the children, no.. but Aaileen was so young.. it hadn’t been an easy time on her still growing body, and now… She sighed, seeing the amount of fluid already staining the pallet. She was dry already, and the child not near to coming. "Get me those herbs, girl.."

Selda carried her pouch over, and she poured through it, taking a pinch between her fingers, and forcing it into the girl’s mouth. "No whining now, Ai… just swallow.. that’s a girl." Aaileen was too far gone to protest, and she resumed moaning, clutching her swollen stomach and writhing as the pain of a contraction hit her.

Menelda chewed her lip. The girl wasn’t opening at all… "How long’s she been like this?"

"Started just before midnight." Eponin replied softly, bending slowly over to blow gingerly on the bit of kindling she’d gotten to light. "Wasn’t sure it was her time.. she’s early…we waited for the weather to shut down a little, then I sent Selda over there… " She turned her head. "Too bad you didn’t bring Xena back here with you."

The healer straightened, giving her a glare. "What for?" She ripped a bandage in two viciously. "I don’t need that animal in here."

Eponin’s eyebrows shot up. "Nelda, you cracking?" She added tinder to the fire. "She’s an experienced healer, whatever you think about her otherwise."

Menelda glanced up. "And what do you think about her, Eponin? She take you in, too? After she broke your Ephiny’s arm?"

The weapon’s master gazed at her through caramel colored eyes. "What I think about her doesn’t matter a pail of manure, Menelda." She paused. "But she saved Eph’s life last winter, or did you forget that?"

"Sure." The healer dunked linen strips in a bucket of cold water Selda had carried laboriously over to her, then laid them across the sweating woman’s head. "She’s a stinking hero, when it serves her purpose to be."

Eponin regarded her. "Y’know, you oughta get over being jealous of her. I did.. wasn’t worth the effort. She can’t help being what she is."

"Jealous?" Menelda hissed. "That bump must have done more damage than I thought." She checked the girl, as her body arched in agony. "She’s got all of you so snowed under, you can’t see the forest for the trees." Her face grimaced. "Damn.. " She felt the girl’s belly, as the muscles contracted painfully under her fingertips.

Eponin set a bucket of water on to heat, and walked carefully over to her. "S’matter?"

The healer shook her head. "She won’t open up.. I gave her something… more than I should have.. but it’s not having any effect."

"She’s too narrow." The dark haired Amazon said quietly. "Kid doesn’t have room to come out.. can’t get past her hips." She winced herself as the girl moaned. "Listen, I'm gonna…"

Menelda whirled around, and grabbed her, shaking her hard. "I’ll not have that woman in here, Eponin.. you try and I’ll knock you silly." She said fiercely. "Her sister was killed in that group that tried to stop that bitch the last time.. you think she wants her touching her?"

Eponin took a breath. "I think she wants to live." And she slugged the healer hard, knocking her back against the wall and watching her slide limply to the floor. "Damn." She turned to Selda, who was staring at her with wide, disbelieving eyes. "Go get Xena."

"But…" She gestured at the healer, silent on the floor.

"S’allright.. she can probably fix that too." The weapon’s master assured her wearily. "G'wan.. this kid doesn’t have much time."

It was a lizard, Xena reflected, watching the tiny creature creep cautiously up her boot and onto her knee. Its tiny, clawed feet tickled her skin, but she remained still, just observing it idly. The moonlight behind it outlined its triangular head, and it opened its mouth, cautiously tasting the air, its independent eyes looking both forward and back, and then both at her.

She reached a finger out, and touched its head, feeling the rough texture of its skin against hers, and it rocked a little under the pressure, poking an almost translucent tongue out at her. She drew her hand back, and it extended its throat patch several times, bobbing up and down.

"Sorry." She gazed wryly at it. "I'm taken."

The lizard goggled its eyes at her, and bobbed, then jumped to her other knee and ran down her boot, scampering across the startled Ares, who yelped.

Soft footfalls made her look up, knowing already without the benefit of the silver light reflecting off pale hair who it was. "Hi."

Gabrielle sat down on a rock and wrapped her arms around her knees. "You’re sitting in the mud." She remarked quietly.

Xena gave a little nod. "Yeah.. well.. I figured I got so much mud on me anyway, hardly matters." She glanced up at the cloudy sky, as the moon disappeared. "Cooler out here."

The bard pushed her hair back. "Yeah.. it sure is." She reached down and ran her fingers through Ares' mud stiffened fur. "I could sure use a bath." She paused. "Are you ok?"

A shrug. "Sure.. I'm fine.. I.."

Gabrielle touched her cheek. "Xena.. stop it. No more of that between us."

Dead silence. "I don’t want to fight with you." The warrior finally muttered.

"I'm wasn't fighting with you, Xena, I was just.. " Gabrielle protested, then stopped, as she absorbed the warrior’s body language. "I…" She let out a breath, and put a hand on her partner’s bare shoulder, feeling the muscles shift under her fingertips.

"I don’t want to go back to the way it was.. when we were angry." Xena said quietly, gazing at her. "I can’t take it, Gabrielle." She dropped her eyes, and took several breaths. "Not now.. it… that did something to me.. I… "

The bard slipped down into the mud with her. "Ok.. yeah.. I know.. I think I know what you mean." She put her arm around the warrior’s shoulders. "It’s.. that’s gonna take a while before we get over it." She laid her head against Xena’s arm. "It’s all right." She remained silent for a few minutes, listening to the breeze stir the leaves around them. "Listen.. I'm really wanting to find some clean water.. this stuff’s starting to itch."

Xena felt a tiny smile etch her face. "Starting?" She gave the bard a tentative look. "You have any idea what it feels like on the inside of all this leather?"

Gabrielle’s face relaxed into a relieved grin. "No… but I’d love to find out." She stopped, then just grinned and shrugged. "C’mon.." Standing, she put out a hand to her partner. "I can’t sleep anymore inside that place anyway."

The warrior sighed, and took her hand, allowing herself to be hauled to her feet. She was about to suggest a pool she’d remembered nearby when they both heard a young voice calling Xena’s name in a frantic tone.

Eponin glanced up as the door swung open, letting out a tiny sigh of relief as she recognized the first person through the door. "Hey."

Xena stepped around the prone Menelda, and gave the weapon’s master a glance as she knelt at the suffering Aaileen’s bedside. "What happened to her?"

Ephiny had crouched down next to the healer, and was examining her. "Looks like she hit her head." The regent advised, dryly, giving her lover a stern look. "I’ll never hear the end of this, you realize that, right?"

Eponin shrugged. "She was being stubborn." The dark haired Amazon muttered, sitting down gingerly on her pallet.

Gabrielle looked up from where she was kneeling near the fire, and let out a soft laugh. "Oh.. that’s a rare thing in this crowd." She stood, hauling the bucket of heated water with her, and dropped it down at Xena’s side, slipping a few pieces of clean linen inside the steaming liquid. She glanced up at her partner, who was examining the pregnant woman with a serious expression. "How is she?"

A single shake of Xena’s dark head. "Not good." She turned to wash her hands in the water, stopping when Gabrielle gently removed the soaked linen and did the job for her, dunking her fingers into the water, and rubbing them with a careful touch.

It was a quiet, and very intimate moment as the bard carefully cleaned the mud and grime from her skin and Xena let herself indulge in brief moment of sensual pleasure. The guttering candles in the room sent flashes of gold through Gabrielle’s hair, and the bard kept her head down, seemingly unaware of the intent blue eyes that studied her. "Thanks." She gave the bard a smile as she finished her task.

"Anytime." Gabrielle replied, with a quick grin. Then her attention turned to the Amazon on the pallet. "Is she going to be ok?" Her eyes lifted to Xena’s shadowed face, as Ephiny crossed behind them, and knelt on the other side of the pallet.

Xena gently examined the girl, putting a quick pressure point to work as the girl’s eyes started due to a strong contraction. She relaxed immediately, as the pain receded, and the warrior was able to more accurately assess her condition.

Xena’s face tightened, and she took a breath. "Gabrielle.. get me that pouch over there."

The bard gave her an uneasy look, but complied, handing the bag of herbs over.

The warrior examined the contents, and nibbled her lip a little, then took a portion of a powdered herb, and another, smaller portion of dried leaves and mixed them together. She started to get up to get a cup, but found one nudging her hand, and she gave the bard a grateful look as she took it, and put the herbs in. Gabrielle ladled boiling water from another, smaller pot she’d taken from the fire, and they all watched as a pungent steam rose from the infusion.

"She’s damn early." Eponin commented, resting her chin on her hands. "Don’t understand it.. she was in here helping out. I didn’t figure her until well into next moon."

Xena glanced up at her. "Weather does that sometimes." The warrior commented briefly, as she swirled the cups contents around to cool them. "Eph.. can you get her up a little?"

Ephiny got behind Aaileen and half lifted the girl up, as her dark eyes blinked open, and she gazed, uncomprehendingly, at the woman holding the cup for a moment, then her eyes widened as she recognized the warrior.

"Relax." Xena let out a little sigh. "I'm here to help."

The girl stared at her for a long moment, then tipped her head back. "C..can’t be.. s’bad.. as yours.. huh?"

Ephiny gave her an affectionate smile. "That would take some doing, Ai.. but don’t you worry..you’re in good hands here."

"All right…" Xena leaned closer. "Look.. we’re gonna need to get this in you. It’ll make you relax, and I think things’ll go better."

"R…relax.. that.. sounds really great." The girl half sobbed. "It… it hurts…"

The warrior put a hand on her shoulder. "Yeah.. I know." She brought the cup to the girl’s lips and watched her gulp the contents down.

"Guh.." Her face scrunched.

Gabrielle laid a strip of water drenched linen over her sweating forehead. "Yeah.. she always makes them taste bad.. I think it’s so you won’t want them too often."

The girl looked up at the bard’s gentle face, and gave a grimacing smile. "My queen."

The bard laid a hand on her arm, and studied her. "You’re gonna be ok." Her voice held a quiet confidence.

Aaileen nodded a little, and fell back, panting against the pillow as the herbs began to take effect.

Xena checked her pulse, then nodded a little, and pinched a second pressure point. The girl’s body relaxed further, and this time, as a contraction hit her, it seemed like her body was no longer fighting itself. Her back arched, and she groaned, but Xena’s sharp eyes caught the start of an expansion that would eventually allow her baby to enter the world.

"Good girl." The warrior told her, "Easy now." A groan caught her attention, and she glanced behind her, to where Menelda was stirring groggily and reaching for her jaw. The healer rubbed her eyes, then looked up, her expression darkening with anger.

"Stop." Xena let the wolf surface in her, as she met Menelda’s eyes. "Later." Her voice held unmistakable warning, and the healer let her fury boil up, but stayed silent. She half turned, and found Eponin’s still form on the next pallet, and glared at her.

Aaileen interrupted the tableau, as she let out a gasp, and her body writhed. Xena grabbed her arm, and let the girl push against her, as Ephiny supported her on the other side. "Easy.." The warrior gently moved her. "All right.. push now.. " Her body arched, and she moaned, her hands pushing against her belly. Xena nodded a little. "Good.. good.." She spared a glance at her partner, whose face had gone pale. "Hey… "

Gabrielle jerked her attention to Xena’s face, trying to shove down the memories. Blue eyes searched her face in tense anxiety. "I'm ok." She replied quietly. A flash of a stable ripped through her mind’s eye, and the wild, disturbed eyes of all those animals, but she concentrated on the warrior’s face, and let the nightmare slowly dissolve back into the dark corner where she kept it.

Menelda had struggled to her feet, and went to the edge of the pallet Aaileen was lying on, dropping heavily to her knees. Her eyes watched the baby’s progress, and she gave the warrior a dark, unreadable look. "You going to let your bed partner get away with that, too, Ephiny?" Her voice was bitter.

The regent opened her mouth to speak, but was forestalled by a hand on her arm. "Menelda, save your anger for later. This isn’t the time." That was Gabrielle’s voice, floating crisply across the pallet.

"Is that an order.. your… majesty?" The healer’s tone was sarcastic.

"Yes." Gabrielle replied quietly. "It is."

Silence fell after that, broken by Aaileen’s soft cries, and Xena’s terse instructions. Finally, one last heave, and the warrior’s hands cradled the tiny, moving body, which squirmed agitatedly in her grip and let out an outraged squall.

"Whoa." Xena muttered. "Gotta good set of lungs." She peered at the beet red, gore covered infant and blinked. "Congratulations.. it’s a girl."

Aaileen let out an exhausted breath, and looked utterly relieved. "Thank the gods that’s over." She mumbled, her chest heaving.

Menelda reached over the tiny body and clipped the cord, and Xena settled back, glancing over at her partner hesitatingly. "Could you…" She stopped, realizing what she was asking, and gave the bard an apologetic look. "Um.."

Gabrielle picked up a piece of wetted linen, and walked over, crouching down next to her partner and leaning against her a little as she carefully wiped the blood and fluids off the tiny body. She kept her mind blank. Not thinking about Hope. Not thinking about herself going through this, and seeing her daughter resting in just this way in just those hands. "There." She finished, and handed Xena a larger piece of cloth to wrap the baby in. "I think her mommy wants to see her. "

Xena nodded, and extended her hands, settling the child into the exhausted Amazon’s arms. Aaileen stared at her, as though she couldn’t imagine where she came from, then reached up one hand to touch a tiny nose. "She’s so wrinkled." The girl looked up at them, puzzled, but obviously delighted. "Is that ok?"

The warrior let a flash of painful memory surface. "Yeah.. they fill out." She assured the girl in a quiet voice. "She’s a cute kid." Then she let out a breath, and plunged her hands into the bucket of cooled water, scrubbing to get the blood off her hands before standing, and backing off from the pallet, which seemed crowded to her suddenly, Ephiny was letting the still red faced child clutch at one fingertip, and Menelda was grimly cleaning the new mother up, not looking at anyone.

She stepped back further, leaning against a ceiling support wearily, her eyes watching her partner’s pale face as the bard leaned forward and gave quiet advice. She saw how Gabrielle’s eyes refused to settle on the baby’s face, could feel the ache from the bard’s heart through their newly reborn connection, and briefly, helplessly wished, again, that things had been different.

As she watched, the bard stood, and took a deep breath, causing the candlelight to dance over her slim body. The shadows dappled over her as she walked over to join her partner in the center of the infirmary, and she stopped next to Xena, clasping her arms around her chest and watching the peaceful scene with haunted eyes.

How alone she must feel. Xena remembered the night after she’d given up Solon, a bare day of knowing him, knowing his touch, and his infant smile. I knew how that felt. I never should have left her to suffer that alone, no matter what had happened. Ephiny was right. "Hey." She called softly.

The bard looked up, forcing a smile. "Hey.. nice work."

Xena glanced down, studying her boots. "You.. um.. " She raised her eyes and met the bards. "You look like you could use a hug." There was a time, she sadly thought, I didn’t have to ask.

She watched Gabrielle’s eyes close, and waited, struck with a sudden fear that the bard was going to lock her out, shutter herself behind her tightly held composure that remembered how her erstwhile best friend had abandoned her in her time of greatest need.

A fear never realized when a warm body nestled against hers, and fingers clenched on her leathers with convulsive strength. Breathing out in relief, she pulled the bard closer and wrapped her arms around her, finding herself whispering quiet apologies as she let the sudden, startling warmth of their connection resurge and sweep through both of them. Gabrielle’s body relaxed against hers with relieved abandon, ignoring the mud liberally spattering her leathers.

She was aware that eyes were on them, not caring, as she tucked Gabrielle’s fair head under her chin and returned the curious gazes, keeping up her quietly reassuring touch against the bard’s bare back. Four sets of eyes, all different. Eponin just rolled hers. Ephiny looked concerned. Aaileen had a look of dazed interest. And Menelda…

Xena just returned that dark gaze, lifting her chin a little. Finally, the healer’s eyes dropped, and she just shook her head, returning to her task. The warrior felt Gabrielle take a steadying breath, and lifted her head to allow the bard to look up at her. "You ok?"

A small nod. "Yeah.. now." Gabrielle looked up at her with a mixture of emotions. "Thank you." She rubbed the warrior’s side gently, and slipped an arm around her waist, turning to watch the Amazons quietly as Xena’s grasp settled around her with comforting warmth.

Her eyes studied the four.. now five Amazons thoughtfully, watching Aaileen’s fatigue vanish as she explored the miniature fists her new daughter was waving in the air. You forget how much it hurt so fast… she remembered wryly That all just faded away in the marvel of those tiny, wide eyes, and the perfect ears… She let the thought drop with a sigh. I feel cheated.. she’s had all these months to prepare for this… to wonder, and… I had so short a time.. no time.. it happened so fast.. Briefly, she imagined what it would be like to experience the full term.

A tiny, thoughtful smile touched the corner of her mouth. But she tucked that image away for another time, and another place. Right now, she was exhausted, caked with mud, and out of patience among other things. "Xena?"

"Mm?" Her partner looked down at her.

"Were you saying something about a bath?" The bard’s green eyes gazed up at her wistfully. I sure could use one. And some quiet, private time.. c’mon, Xena.. so could you.

Xena hid a pathetically relieved grin. "You all right here?" This was to the group of Amazons. "I gotta get this mud off. It’d driving me nuts."

Ephiny waved her off. "I’ll join you in a bit… " She paused. "Thanks, again, Xena… " She glanced up from where the infant was tugging on her finger with a determined little grip. "Last time I didn’t get to watch."

"Anytime." The warrior gave her a nod, and a faint grin. "Oh.. and Eponin?" Her pale eyes rested on the dark haired Amazon.

The weapons master looked up grumpily from her pallet, where she’d curled up to watch. "Yeah?" She had one arm cradled in the other, surreptitiously.

"Soak the hand in cold water." Came the quiet reply, as Xena led her partner out of the infirmary.

They walked towards the disheveled exterior of the bathing hall, carefully skirting it and continuing on out of the village as they heard the querulous voices inside. Others had the same idea, apparently, and were arguing over the tubs, and one look at Gabrielle’s face made the decision to go elsewhere a prudent one.

It was a small pool, overrun by the rain but clean, and very cold, that she’d remembered from her last sojourn at the village. The graying sky blurred the shadows, and draped the setting moonlight across Gabrielle’s shoulders as she gratefully stripped out of her halter and skirt, and walked into the water. "Gods." The bard sighed. "You have no idea how good this feels."

Xena shrugged out of her leathers, and shook herself, then stepped into the cold pool with a feeling of definitely sensual pleasure. "Oh yes I do." She disagreed gently, letting the water cover her body. She ducked underneath the surface at once, wetting her hair, then came back up, wiping her eyes and letting out a relieved sigh.

Gabrielle laid back in the pool, dunking her head under and surfacing with a light splutter. "Buh.. that’s cold." She waded over to where her partner was standing, scrubbing the mud off her upper arms. "How did you get mud there?" She splashed a little water, then rubbed the mark with her fingers.

Xena stayed still, and raised her eyebrows. "Just lucky, I guess." She hesitated, scooping up a handful of water up and letting it run down the bard’s shoulders, then stretched out a long arm and captured the soap she’d left on the rocky bank, rubbing it between her hands and working up a lather, starting on her partner’s neck and working down.

"Mm." Gabrielle closed her eyes and tipped her head back, enjoying the contrast of the warrior’s warm hands against her water cooled body. "You really did a great job with that girl." She murmured conversationally. "You knew exactly what to do."

Xena felt herself relaxing, and she yawned a little, as she worked on the bard’s upper arms, then dropped her soapy hands to the slim torso. "Not bad." She agreed quietly. "She was just so tense.. she wasn’t going anywhere." She finished with the soap, and started a gentle rinsing, as Gabrielle plucked the bar from her fingers, and started her own cleaning task. "Once I’d gotten her over that, she did the rest."

The bard nodded, as she scrubbed the tanned skin across from her, letting her fingers slip across the faint scars and moving closer as a light, dawn wind blew across her exposed, damp back. The pale pink light was starting to inch its way through the trees, and what was black, and white, and silver took on a hint of color. "It was kinda hard watching that." She finally admitted.

Xena moved closer, and pulled her into a hug again. "I know it was." She whispered into the bard’s ear. "Took a lot of guts to stay.. you’re a very brave person, my bard."

Gabrielle took a breath, and let it out slowly. "You once told me the only way to defeat your fears is to confront them… it’s true, Xena." She gazed up at her partner’s face, dimly outlined in pink and gray. "I thought about leaving.. just letting you handle it.. but I knew if I keep running from this, I’ll never get over feeling that way.. and I really want to." She gave a brief nod. "And I’m glad I did… for a lot of reasons."

Xena kissed her on the forehead. "I’m glad you did too… it was good having you there." She leaned back against the bank and cradled the bard against her, as they turned to watch the sunrise. Tiny shy hints of sun began to creep through the leaves, turning gray leaves brilliant green, and dancing glints off the water of the pool. The warrior glanced around her, and found her eyes arrested by a splash of deep purple behind her. With a grin, she freed one long arm, and reached back, twisting and tugging until a section of the bush came free.

"What are you doing?" Gabrielle craned her head around, and jerked as a thick patch of leaves almost brushed her face. "Hey!"

Xena moved the foliage into the light, and displayed her trophy. "Guess you don’t want any, then, huh?"

"Oo." The bard delicately nibbled a blueberry off the patch, and chewed it. "You guessed wrong.. Mmm." She snapped up a few more, as the thick, juicy berries dangled in front of her. "Gods.. I feel like Argo in an apple orchard."

She glanced up and caught the real, indulgent grin on the warrior's face. "What's that smile for?"

Xena chuckled a little. "Don't tell Argo, but you're lots prettier than she is." She assured her. "Even with your face all stained with blueberries."

Gabrielle blinked at her. "Really?"

The warrior's eyebrows rose. "Which are you questioning… that you're prettier than my horse, or that you've got blueberry juice all over you?" Xena felt a tired giddiness take her over, and suspected they were probably way too tired for good sense. The bard had only gotten a few hours of sleep, and she'd gotten none, not with the restlessness of the Amazons, the heat, and the dripping water.

"Um." Gabrielle's brows contracted. "Can I retract the question?"

Xena plucked several berries off the branches, and offered them up, gently placing them on the bard's lips as their eyes met, and held, and she lost track of the fact that they were standing in water up to their chests, in the middle of the forest. The sun strengthened, and lit them, bringing out the gilded highlights in Gabrielle's eyes, and touching her skin with a rosy glow that almost erased the strain and shadows that had been etched onto her by the past few months. "Don't question." The warrior replied in a softly husky tone, as she bent her head and tasted the blueberries and felt warm hands curl around her ribcage in response.

Uninhibited response, she suddenly realized, as those hands touched familiar, sensitive places with a quiet, sure pressure. She almost stopped, almost pulled back, but Gabrielle sensed it, and moved closer, warming the thin layer of water between them as their bodies brushed.

Hesitantly, wistfully, she raised a hand, and stroked Gabrielle's face, trailing her fingers down her neck and across one shoulder, as the layer of water disappeared, and she felt the sudden, seductive jolt as skin slid against skin. She could feel the warmth of the rising sun as it painted them, counteracting the water's chill, and reveled in the sensations of that, and the soft summer breeze, and Gabrielle's lips exploring her face and neck in a blur of intensity

A loud bird call brought them reluctantly back to the reality of where they were, and to the waking forest, its rustles and squeaks overwhelming the rough sounds caused by two sets of labored breathing. Gabrielle ducked her head and nuzzled the soft skin she was pressed against gently, then looked up with eyes darkened to the green of the ferns around them. "Sometimes… " She sighed gently. "Sometimes.. facing your fears is a really good idea."

Xena felt her spirits lift higher as understanding dawned. "Yeah?"

The bard gazed up at her through half closed eyes. One long moment of fear.. yeah..and the beginnings of awful memories, that had been swept before a tide of fierce passion that had filled her with a mixture of joy, and relief. "Oh yeah." Gabrielle whispered as her face tightened into a smile. She soaked in the tingling warmth still skittering up and down her body, then sighed gently. "Guess we'd better get out of the water huh?"

The warrior lifted her head from its resting place against her partners and blinked a little. "What water?"

They smiled at each other. "Ok..ok.." Xena sheepishly looked around. "Lets get this place cleaned up.. and um… if you don't mind…"

"Get the Hades out of here and head home?" The bard interpreted wryly. "No, I don't mind… to be honest, it's getting on my nerves a little." She pressed her hands against Xena's warm belly, and let her eyes close again. "Maybe I can come back in a while.. but… " She looked up, and took a decisive breath. "Right now, all I want is to spend time with you, and let some stuff heal."

Xena nodded a little. "Works for me." She gently grasped the bard around the waist and lifted up, setting her on the bank and into a shaft of pure, golden sunlight.

Gabrielle smiled into it, shading her eyes from the brightness as she dunked her skirt and halter into the water, and watched the cool eddies take the mud from the fabric. "You'd better get your leathers cleaned off. " She commented, as her partner waded over and did just that. "Gray isn't your color."

Xena looked back over one bare shoulder, raising an eyebrow at her. "I have a color?"

Gabrielle studied her critically, one corner of her mouth edging up as the rich light burnished her partner's skin. "Well.. that one isn't bad." Her green eyes sparkled gently. "But I love it when you wear red."

The other eyebrow rose. "Red?"

The bard nodded, wringing out her clothing. "Yep." She slipped the damp fabric over her head, and fastened it, wincing a little at the clammy feeling. "Ugh… speaking of clothing, I need to go change mine."

Xena pulled herself up out of the water and shook herself off, then slipped into her leathers with a twin of Gabrielle's pained expression. But she wandered over to where the bard was standing, and straightened the shoulder on her halter. "That..um.. that other Amazon outfit of yours is nice."

Gabrielle muffled a surprised smile. "Nice?" She'd always felt kind of strange wearing it. Maybe it was the sinuous feel of all that leather. Or the unfamiliar constriction around her biceps and the soft, rhythmic clinking of the jewelry.

"Mm." The warrior agreed. "Nice."

The bard glanced down, feeling a touch of pleasant confusion. "All right.. I'll put it on, if you help me.. that thing has more clips and ties and little jingly things than Argo's tack."

"Deal." Xena settled an arm over her shoulders as they wandered back towards the village.

"And only if you put on something more colorful than these." The bard decided, giving the dark brown leathers a gentle tug. "Hey.. I'd love to see you in an Amazon get up."

"Oh…no….. " Xena held up a hand. "Don't go there, my bard.. your Amazons would have a fit."

"Might be good for them. " Gabrielle muttered, then sighed. "But I guess you're right." She fell silent, and kept her thoughtful gaze on the forest path they were walking on.

Xena watched her out of the corner of her eye, and silently debated with herself. Or rather, with her sense of self dignity.

Dignity lost. She'd go find Ephiny after they got back.. gods knew they probably wouldn't have anything to fit her tall frame, but you never knew. At least she'd have tried.. and Gabrielle never asked her for much. What price was worth a couple of smiles from her partner? Maybe she could get ahold of some red leathers.. and knock off two rabbits with one arrow. What a spectacle that'd be… she wryly acknowledged, as they reached the edge of the village, and entered the mud covered central square.

Ephiny watched the new mother nurse her tiny infant with a tired smile, postponing the moment that she'd have to face Menelda, and straighten out the mess both her lover, and the Queen had gotten her into. Not that she blamed Pony.. no… the healer could try the patience of Artemis herself, but still.

She took a breath, and looked over at Menelda, who was sorting her herbs in silence. She walked over and stood looking down at the leaves, trying to come up with an opening parry.

"Which ones?" Menelda quietly asked, her voice very subdued.

"Hmm?" The regent cocked her curly blond head, distracted from her strategic planning.

The healer raised her eyes, and found Ephiny's pale ones. "Which ones did she use?"

Ephiny stared at the herbs, racking her brain. "Um… this.. " She pointed at a powder. "And… " Her fingers tumbled through the herbs. "This." She touched a small pile of leaves." She paused. "You change your mind about her?"

Menelda let out a long, tired breath. "No." She gazed at the regent. "I haven't.. " Her eyes shifted. "But there are things about her that can be useful to us.. and.. " She let one hand lift and fall. "for the moment, she seems very attached to our queen." Another sigh. "Ephiny.."

"I know." The regent put a tentative hand on her shoulder. "I get scared for her.. I get scared for both of them, and for us sometimes.. it's a double edged sword having her be so close.. I know that." She gazed at the contentedly suckling baby. "But I think it's worth the risk."

The healer shook her head tiredly. "I don't know, Ephiny." She stirred the herbs with a finger. "But I think you're right about the two of them.. for better or worse, they need each other." She paused. "I'm not sure how healthy that is, especially for Gabrielle… she was pretty torn up.. and now it seems to me like she's clinging to that woman just to keep herself together."

Ephiny thought about that. "You may be right." She finally admitted. "But I think they genuinely care for each other."

Menelda's lips twitched. "Yeah." She cleared her throat. "So.. you want to talk about Slugger McLeathers over there?" She jerked her head in Eponin's direction, towards the pallet where the dark haired Amazon was dozing quietly. "Ephiny, that wasn't right."

The regent leaned against the table, and nibbled her lip. "I know." She sighed. "I'll.. discipline her." Her eyes lifted to the far corner of the room. "It'll have to wait until she's out of here, though." She paused. "I don't agree with the method but she acted in that girl's best interests." Now her eyes found Menelda's directly. "You do realize, that, right?"

The healer glanced away. "How is that supposed to make me feel?" She threw a bit of linen against the floor. "Like some green kid, who needed rescuing? I know my business, Ephiny.. or don't you think I'm a competent healer?"

Ephiny put up a placating hand. "That's not the point… but even I have the sense to ask or help when I need it… and believe me, if she gives me advice in matters of war, I'm listening, Nelda… because she's seen so much, and done so much… you know she's a good healer, you've seen her work."

"I've seen her damage." Menelda sniped back, then shook her head. "Here we go again… all right, all right.. so she knows some tricks I don't. Happy?"

The regent wavered, and leaned hard against the table. "Tired." She muttered softly.

Menelda shook her head, and grabbed the regent's elbow, nudging her towards the row of pallets. "Come on, you." She pushed her down onto the pallet next to Eponin, and brushed away her protests. "Shut up, Ephiny, al right? I've argued with you enough this week." The auburn haired healer gave her a glare. "Go to sleep. I'll wake you up later."

"No.. there's too much to do." Ephiny struggled to lift herself up on one elbow. "I just need to get something to eat. I'll be fine." She glanced down as Eponin sensed her presence, and half woke, reaching out and snaring her securely with one hand and tugging hard. "Hey…"

It was too much. Her body rebelled and obeyed the tug, and the next thing she knew, she was tucked neatly against her sleepy lover, helpless to resist the waves of lethargy that were rolling over her.

"Hey.. you mad at me for slugging Nelda?" Eponin breathed in her ear.

Ephiny closed her eyes and yawned, knowing by the sound of footsteps that the healer had moved away. "Nah.. " She whispered back. "But now I gotta think of some punishment for you."

"Mmm.. " Eponin mused. "How about this?"

Ephiny broke off after a moment, and chuckled softly. "That's not a punishment." She gave in. "But we'll think of something."

"You want… what?" Solari put a hand to her head, and rubbed her temples. "Xena.. wh… um…not that I think there's anything wrong with it, ok.. but.. " She paused, and started again. "You ..want a set.. of our leathers?"

The warrior pushed off the support pole she was leaning against and lifted a hand. "Look.. forget I asked, OK? It's nothing.. just something Gabrielle asked me to do, but don't worry about it."

"No..no…um…" Solari protested. "Wait.. let me think a minute… you just caught me by surprise, that's all." She briefly cursed Ephiny for having the gall to be asleep and not here to deal with this odd request, but nibbled her lip in thought. "Ok… yeah, in fact, I think I…" She led the wary Xena to a small hut just outside the central area, and ducked her head to enter, surveying the disarray with a jaundiced eye.

"Guess the storm really messed things up." Xena commented diplomatically.

Solari gave her a look. "Um… right." She muttered, as she pawed through piles of supplies, and clothing. "I think.. ." She dodged and yelped as a basket fell of a shelf and nearly hit her. "Maybe over…"

Xena had lunged forward and caught the basket, and set it down. "That woulda hurt." She mused, seeing the pile of necklaces jumbled up in the bottom. The room smelled of cloth, and leather, and brass, and she found an indulgent grin tugging at her lips at its rampant disorganization.

"Thanks… " Solari mumbled, as she dug in a corner. "Ah… right.. yeah, I thought I remembered…" She tugged back and pulled out a thick linen covered bundle, tied with a light rope. "Yeah…yeah… we used to have a leathermaker here… Eusana.. she was fantastic.. she used to just make up sets and leave them in here in bundles.. you'd go in for something, and find two or three of them… if you found one, you grabbed it, cause she really knew her stuff." The Amazon untied the bundle, and lifted up the front flap, disclosing the contents.

Xena's eyebrows rose at the rich, russet color. "So.. Amazons don't like red?"

Solari let out a soft chuckle. "No.. we do…but… " She gave Xena an appraising look. "Well, I'm average size for one of us.. and this.. " She held up the skirt, indicating its length. "Would come to my knees."

"Ah." The warrior commented, taking the garment and examining it. "Not on me."

"No." Solari agreed. "That was my point." She cleared her throat a little, and handed over the rest of the package. "So… um… Gabrielle wanted you to…uh.. exactly what did she want you to do?" Curiosity was scribbled all over her face.

Xena delivered an inscrutable look. "Just a request of hers." She answered coolly. "I.. think she's got an idea that if we put this stuff on.. maybe it would help the tension.. you know."

Solari's eyebrows shot up. "Oh!'" She blinked, impressed. "Wow.. I never thought of that… yeah… that's not a bad idea at all.. " She hesitated. "Listen.. I know it's been a little rough.. sorry about that."

The warrior's eyes glinted quietly with inner amusement. "Well, thanks, Solari.. I think this'll do the trick.. we've got.. " Her head jerked back towards the village. "A lotta stuff to do."

"No.. no problem, Xena.. glad I could help." Solari puffed gently. "Um… thanks for sticking around to give us a hand.. we could use it."

Xena's eyes flicked around the room, then blinked innocently. "Yeah….well, glad we could help."

Gabrielle studied herself critically in the mirror, working on adjusting her shoulder strap for what seemed like the hundredth time. She cast a glance back as the door drifted open, and felt a smile come onto her face as she spotted her partner, hair still damp from their bath entering. "Thank the gods you're here.. I can't figure this out."

Xena dropped a bundle on the table and padded over, examining the strap in question and nodding a little. "Oh.. right.. " She fixed the twist in the leather, and refastened it. "There…better?" She allowed her eyes to wander over the rich, rust brown leather with gentle approval. In style, it wasn't so very different than outfit she normally wore, but the earthy tones heightened the golden tint to her skin, and brought out the intense color of her eyes. It was… Xena realized, an almost primal difference. Maybe it was the leather, she jibed herself.

"Thanks." Gabrielle sighed in relief. "Yeah… " She straightened her skirt, and smoothed the supple layers down over her thighs. "Think I'll leave off the arm gauntlets and the feathers… they'll just get muddy anyway." She wandered over to the bed and flopped onto her back, closing her eyes. "Think I'll take a few minutes while you get dressed…" One green eye opened and studied the taller woman. "You are going to change, right? Not go around in those wet leathers all day?"

Xena's lips twitched. "Oh yeah… just be a minute.. you.. um.. just relax there."

The bard nodded a little. "Ok..ok.." She let her eyes close again and drifted into a pleasant haze, listening idly to the beginnings of movement outside as the Amazons assembled to begin the long cleanup tasks, and to the subtler, quieter sounds of her partner quietly moving around the room. She could feel a very faint draft as the warrior walked past her, and smelled the wet leather as she set her stuff to dry.

A faint rustle of fabric, and then she detected the sound of buckles being fastened by her partner's long fingers, and caught a whiff of leather again, this time dry. Her other set? Her mind mused distractedly. Didn't think we had that with us.. maybe she picked it up with Argo. Oh well.. she idly considered. Blue was nice, too.

"Hey." Now Xena's voice was directly over her, and she felt the light dim as the warrior stepped between her and the window, blocking the sunlight. Lazily, she let her eyes drift open and looked up.

And just kept looking, as her mind tried to reconcile the vision and couldn’t "Buh… " She spluttered, and raised herself up on her elbows to get a better look. Leathers cut in the same fashion as her own graced her partner's long, muscular body, but in a warm, rich shade of almost wine red. "Oh.. gods." She managed to stammer, as she watched a hand lift up and touch the soft folds and realized it was her own.

Xena absorbed this reaction with a mixture of pleasure and perplexity. "You did say red." She protested mildly.

The bard felt a grin coming on and let it appear, as she sat up, and regarded Xena appraisingly. The color contrasted with her tanned skin, and the low cut skirt outlined her with elegant precision, exposing most of her long torso to a soft, sun dappled rippling of muscles under skin that was intriguing the bard no end. The top outlined her chest and broad shoulders, and showed slivers of dark against red where her hair was laying over it. "Wow." She finally spluttered, and raised a hand to run her fingers over the expanse of bare skin, watching Xena's breathing catch at the touch. She looked up, into the startling blue eyes gazing down at her. "You did this for me?"

The warrior nodded, a little uncertainly. "Well.. yeah.. you.. did ask." She answered softly. "I just thought…"

Gabrielle stood, and put her arms around the taller woman, hugging her tightly. Here, in a still uneasily hostile place, among people she had no reason to think of as friends, when she needed to keep her dark, implacable mask on, Xena had deliberately chosen to don the markings of the Amazons, who had shown her little but distrust and contempt.

Because she, Gabrielle, had asked.

It was an affirmation of love that was more profound than any words could have been, and she absorbed it fully, letting it sink down in to the still quietly healing wounds in her soul. She felt a tear slip out, and she let it fall in simple reaction, then a feather's brush and it was gone, captured by Xena's hand, which went on to tangle itself in her hair, stroking the damp tendrils with a hesitant pressure.

They stood in silence for a long, golden moment, outlined in the sunlight, then Gabrielle sighed, and gave the bare side a pat. "Thanks.. you look great.. better than even I'd imagined."

That got her a half embarrassed, half appreciative grin. "No problem… it's a little drafty, but not bad." Xena felt a giddy little shiver. "We'd.. better get helping."

Gabrielle untangled herself from her partner, and took a step back, unable to help the grin that shaped her face again. "Xena.. don't take this wrong, but… I'm not sure how much work is going to get done with you out there." She bit her lip and giggled.

The warrior sighed, and rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Gabrielle.. everyone out there is dressed like this… give me a break." She sat down and tugged on a boot. "Besides, by the time we get out there, Solari will have spread the word that you roped me into this to improve the atmosphere around here."

Gabrielle wandered over to the table, and nibbled some of the blueberries they'd brought back. "Hey.. that's not a bad idea." She glanced up. "I never thought of that."

Xena glanced up. "Yes you did." She informed the bard dryly. "It's all your plan." She finished tying her other boot and stood, putting her hands on her hips and giving the bard an inquiring look. "Shall we?"

The bard grinned, and a mischievous sparkle entered her mist green eyes. "Yeah.. let's go.. we can hit the dining hall and pick up a little breakfast, then see what we can do to help… " Mentally, she was looking forward to seeing the expressions of her Amazon sisters. Oh.. I'm gonna hurt from smirking by the end of today. "Heh." She tucked her hand around Xena's elbow and steered her towards the door.

Ephiny laid her head back against the cool surface of the tub, and regarded the ceiling thoughtfully. "I don't know why I'm taking a bath." She commented. "I'm just gonna get dirty again. This place is a mess."

Eponin scooped up a handful of water and let it dribble down the regent's head. "Cause it feels good." She yawned, and pulled her linen wrap closer, drying her hair gingerly, trying to avoid the still tender bump on one side. She glanced up as Solari sauntered in, a peculiarly smug look on her face. "What'r you smirking at?" She asked curiously.

"Me?" Solari pointed at herself. "Nothing." She walked over and dabbled a finger in Ephiny's water. "So… what's up? You get some sleep? I heard Aaileen's doing ok."

Ephiny sighed, reluctant to leave her watery resting place. "Oh.. yeah, she's fine.. nice little daughter and the thanks go to our old friend for that." She dunked her head and then surfaced. "At least Menelda's backed off.. now all I gotta do is get the rest of this place to just relax about them a little and I'm home free."

"Hm." Solari dabbled again. "Well.. funny you should say that."

A blond eyebrow quirked. "Funny? I don't see anything funny about the situation, Solari."

The dark haired woman nibbled her lip a little. "No.. not funny ha ha, funny as in, Gee, isn't it funny you should say that right at this very moment , kind of funny." She offered. "Because.. mmm.. I think Gabrielle had more.. or less… " She smirked a little "Less.. yeah.. anyway, she more or less had the same idea."

Ephiny cocked her head. "Really?"

"Eeeeyah." Solari agreed. "Really." She whistled a little. "Well, I gotta go get started.. see you guys later." She turned and headed for the door, only to be hauled down by a hand on the back of her leathers. "Whoa…"

"Exactly." Eponin stated, pulling her around, to face the now unbathed and towel wrapped Ephiny. "You wanna explain?"

Solari drummed her fingers on her thigh. "Not really." She admitted. "It's… you kinda have to see it."

"Solari." Ephiny growled, roughly toweling her curly hair dry. "Cut the centaur poop and deliver the goods to market, please."

Solari sighed dramatically. "You're no fun. Ok.. Gabrielle's idea was to use Amazon garb to kind of make everyone chill out a little."

The two other Amazons exchanged puzzled looks. "Well… " Ephiny mused. "That's.. that makes sense… she's the queen, after all.. that would kind of smooth things over but.. "

"For both of them." Solari finished, crossing her arms and waiting.

Dead silence. Then.. "Oo." Eponin snorted. "This I gotta go see."

"You don't mean.. " Ephiny squeaked. "No…"

Solari nodded. "Yeah… and boy.. let me tell you… it's certainly getting everyone's attention."

"You enjoying yourself? " Xena asked, from her position on the bench next to her partner. She had her legs stretched out and her booted feet crossed under the table, and was leaning back against the center support with as much of a bored expression as she could muster under the circumstances.

"Oh yeah." Gabrielle cheerfully informed her, as she picked up a slice of fruit and offered it to the taller warrior. "That tall redhead over there just poked her own nose with a fork." She muttered, with a slight giggle. Then she looked up and studied the sharply profiled face and laid a hand on Xena's arm. "This isn't bothering you too much, is it?"

The warrior's eyebrows twitched. "Um… no.. not… " She cast a quick glance around the room and watched appreciative stares go skittering off into the distance. "Well, it's a pleasant change." She decided, feeling a chuckle working its way up. She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling the unfamiliar sensation of the soft breeze against her bare midriff, then smiled a little, as Gabrielle settled back against her, offering her up another slice of melon.

A movement at the door caught her eye, and she looked over to see Ephiny, Eponin and Solari entering, and she waited as their eyes drifted and finally settled on her. It was almost funny… no.. Xena had to admit. It was funny, to see their expressions. She nudged Gabrielle gently in the ribs and jerked her head towards the door.

The bard looked up, and grinned, then waved at them, as they made their way across the room to the front table. "Hi." Gabrielle greeted them. "We figured breakfast, then we'd help do a little clean up before we left."

Ephiny settled onto the bench and leaned her elbows on the table, as she considered her words. A quick look around as she entered told her that the atmosphere was, indeed, a lot more relaxed. Whether it was because word had spread about Aaileen's baby, or because everyone was totally absorbed in a lustful glance at six feet of sinuous muscle stacked in Amazon leathers, she wasn't sure. Knowing her Amazons, it was a fifty fifty proposition, but it didn't really matter, because whatever it was, it was working. "Ok.. sure." She managed to keep a smile off her face. "It's nice of you two to stay and help… I know you want to get home."

Xena gave her a wry grin, and turned her head, to meet Eponin's amused glance. "How's the head?"

"I thought it was getting better." The weapon's master commented. "Then I started hallucinating again.. thought I saw you dressed as an Amazon." She tapped her skull. "Whooo…"

The warrior rolled her eyes. "Funny. Very funny." She shrugged. "Mine were drenched… and um.. " She cast a glance at her partner, who was engaged in a low voiced conversation with Ephiny. "Her majesty thought it would be a good idea to kinda blend in."

Eponin chortled. "Blend in?" She thumped the table. "Xena, you looked in a mirror lately??" She looked up as a server dropped by, handing her a platter of bread, cheese, and fruit. "Thanks." She picked up a slab of bread, and topped it with a slice of cheese, and started chewing. "So.. " She leaned a little closer. "Does Gabrielle like your new outfit?"

The bard leaned across her partner. "Yes." She gave Eponin a grin, as she leaned against Xena's tall body, and felt the warrior drape an arm over her in absent affection. "Do you like it?"

Eponin took a breath, obviously flustered. "It's.. uh… really nice." She looked daggers at Xena, who had assumed an innocent expression. "Needs some feathers, though." She hazarded, grinning when she saw the pained expression enter the warrior's eyes. "Heh."

Gabrielle turned her head, and regarded the dark haired warrior, who raised both eyebrows at her. "Feathers?" She speculated thoughtfully.

"Roo?" Ares poked his head up from under the table, where he was curled up around Xena's boots. The wolf had an unfortunate habit of chasing birds, and often brought back feathers.. stuck in his mouth. "Argrroo."

"Not for you." Gabrielle scolded him, then looked back up. "Feathers.. hmm… " An eyebrow inched a bit higher. "Maybe not." The eyebrow dropped. "Shall we go clean muck?"

The warrior smiled indulgently at her. "Sure.. why not?" She stood, and lifted the bard up with her. "Where do we start, Ephiny?"

The regent shook her head to clear it. "Um.. start.. right…the well needs clearing desperately.. we're about out of fresh water."

Gabrielle stifled a yawn, as she finished up her task, then looked up to see Ephiny leaning against the wall watching her. "Hi there." She glanced up at the sun, which was slanting westward towards the end of a long day. "We're just about done, I think."

The regent pushed off the wall, and moved towards her. "Just about… things look pretty good."

The bard studied her. "Do they?" She asked quietly.

Ephiny's lips edged into a smile. "Yeah… they do." She dropped to a crouch next to where the bard was sitting and picked up a bit of rock, playing with it idly. "That was a good idea you had." She commented softly. "I can't say all's forgiven, but.. I heard a lot of stuff today that was good." She smiled a little. "Did you see her helping out that old curmudgeon Reina the weaver move her stuff out?"

Gabrielle smiled back. "Yeah, I did."

An awkward silence fell. "Look.. " Ephiny sighed. "I know you want out of here.. but it's late.. why don't you stay over and leave in the morning. It's not so uncomfortable now, is it?"

The bard studied her hands. "I can't." She finally said, letting out a quiet sigh. "Ephiny… I appreciate the offer.. really, I do." She looked up. "But I need some time alone with her.. before we get home."

The regent gave her a quiet, understanding look. "All right." She paused. "How are things.. it's not.. I mean, you're ok, right?"

Gabrielle let a smile shape her lips. "Things are ok.. getting better, actually.. kinda faster than I…I'd hoped." She laced her fingers together. "She.. " A long hesitation. "Still loves me."

Ephiny gripped her arm. "Did you ever doubt that?"

A tiny nod.

"Well, I never did." The blond Amazon said gently. "Even as horrible as it was, I never thought you two didn't love each other… in fact… I thought that's what made it so damn horrific."

Green eyes lifted and studied hers. "You're right." She answered honestly. "It just took us a while to remember that."

Ephiny took a breath. "Well, I'm glad you did… really, Gabrielle, I am." She bit her lip. "I'm not sorry I sent Pony and Solari out after you though.. I want you to know that we do care about you, my friend.. above and beyond the fact that you're a Queen of the Amazons… you know that, right?"

The bard covered her hands with her own. "I do.. and… thank you.. for being concerned. I know.. I should have sent word back.. I'm not sure where my head was." They exchanged rueful smiles. "Thanks for understanding… and I know that if I need a home.. or even a place to come when I need it… I have one."

Ephiny chuckled softly. "You stole my lines."

They stood, and dusted themselves off, and turned towards the sun, walking out into the central area, and heading towards the well. Xena looked up as they approached, and broke away from the small group surrounding her, with a word of apology. Grins followed her, as her audience realized her target.

Gabrielle allowed herself the simple pleasure of watching her partner approach, her easy, relaxed stride accentuating the subtle movement of the muscles evident under her tanned skin, which held a hint of burnished copper from the intense sun they'd been in all day. Xena had tied her hair back to keep it out of her eyes, and as she walked towards them, she reached back and released it from the leather thong, shaking her head to send a cascade of dark strands dancing around her shoulders, catching in the sun. As she neared the bard, blue eyes found hers, and a raised brow asked a question.

She'd stay here, if I wanted to. Gabrielle suddenly realized, as she gazed up at her partner. "You ready to take off?" It was all the answer she needed to give, to the unasked question.

A brief nod was her response. "All ready." Xena's eyes found Ephiny. "Take care."

The regent gave a nod back, her arms crossed over her chest. "I.. um… " A tiny laugh. "I'll have to stop by soon.. I … owe your mother an apology." She looked a touch sheepish. "She's.. got quite the temper."

The warrior glanced at the ground. "Yeah… well, it's kinda a family trait." She looked up. "You're welcome anytime, Ephiny."

They exchanged hugs, then more of them as Eponin, and Solari, and a few others wandered over, and then they were alone in the stable, with Argo and Ares impatiently waiting. Xena loaded up the mare's saddle bags, then hesitated. "Guess I'd better… " She fingered the leather she was wearing.

Gabrielle ran her hands over the warrior's ribcage. "Don't." She replied softly. "I really kinda like it."

The warrior nuzzled her hair. "It's not exactly the safest thing going for my kinda fighting." She objected quietly, as she led Argo outside the stable, and paused, blinking in the bright, late afternoon sunlight.

"I know." The bard smiled. "Just until we stop… is that ok?"

"Sure." Xena gave in easily. "Besides.. it's nice and cool… damned if it wasn't hot today."

The bard pressed a fingertip against her skin experimentally. "Eyep.. I think you got sunburned, a little." She gave her partner an impish look. "And I think you were overheating all those nice young Amazons who were following you around."

"Following me… " Xena started to object, then let a rueful chuckle out. "Yeah.. I guess they were." She admitted, as she tightened Argo's straps. "I… know a nice place, just outside of Amazon territory.. little lake.. if you're interested.. we could stop there tonight." The warrior swallowed, staring at Argo's soft coat, and arranging her mane nervously.

A gentle touch whispered against her skin. "Can you see the stars from there?"

Xena gave a brief smile. "Yeah."

"Works for me." Gabrielle agreed, as the warrior vaulted aboard Argo, and offered her a lift up. She took the assistance, and settled in place behind Xena, grinning as she wrapped her arms around the taller woman and met bare skin. "Ooo.. I think I like this." Irresistibly, her fingertips moved in a tiny tickle, and she felt Xena shift in surprise.

"Hey." The warrior said, on an irregular breath.

"Something wrong?" Gabrielle asked, in all innocence, as she smoothed the suddenly goosebumped flesh under her hands.

"Nope." Xena mumbled, as she kneed Argo forward, and watched Ares frisk out ahead of them. "Not a thing… "

Another subtle tickle. "Good."

They left through the village main entrance, returning the several waves of Amazons still working around the central area, and entered the long, leaf shaded path that lead outward and towards the path down to the river.

But pairs of hooded eyes followed them, belonging to shadows that passed through the trees and trailed their fading hoofbeats.

Continued in Part 5

Standard Disclaimer - These characters, most of them, belong to Universal, and Renaissance Pictures, and whoever else has a stake in Xena: Warrior Princess. This is written just in fun, and no copyright infringement was intended.

Specific Story Disclaimers:

Violence – Violence - yes, there will be violence of a moderately graphic nature in this story.

Emotional distress - I have to put in a disclaimer here for this, because this story, unlike most of my other stories, is an extremely dark one. There is not a whole lot of humor here, and most everyone ends up not being happy through most of the story. IF you're looking for a warm and fuzzy tale, this ain't it. You might want to give this one a miss.

Subtext - As in all my stories, this one is based on the premise of two people who are very much in love with each other. They happen to both be women. There is no graphically depicted action here.. but if the thought of this gives you a problem, find a different story to read. There are lots of very good general fiction Xena stories that can be found everywhere.

I'm not offering any goodies for the phobes this time round. But if you feel like I've beaten you over the head with angst in this one, then send me your snail mail address, and I'll forward over some Girl Scout Original Mint cookies, and some milk. That always makes me feel better.

 Any and all comments are always welcome. You can email them to:

 mailto:merwolf@bellsouth.net

Darkness Falls - Part 5

By Melissa Good

Twilight settled its lavender blanket over the forest's richly green shoulders, turning bright colors to pale grays, and silencing the daytime chatter of the birds into the beginnings of the night sounds that crept stealthily up from the shadowed branches.

The small glade was mostly silent as well, save the steady munching of a horse's patient teeth on grass, and the faint snap and hiss of a small, but well made fire that heated a simmering pot which gave off wisps of fragrant steam. That, and the hesitant rasp and crackle of a quill on parchment.

Gabrielle looked up from her diary at the orderly campsite with a contented smile. Even the placement of their bedrolls was familiar, upwind from the fire, nestled against a shielding tree which shed the odd leaf that drifted down onto them. The wind was warm, but not overly damp, and brought the intoxicating smell of lavender to her, and jasmine, and bitter orange blossoms which perfumed the air and drifted against her skin.

Peace. She closed her eyes. No chattering, no Amazons, no observing eyes… just this quiet glade, the small lake it fronted, the fire and her. Somewhere out there, of course, was Xena, who was hunting for something to add to her vegetable stew. The warrior was taking her time about it, though, and Gabrielle briefly regretted just happening to mention that she really had a taste for rabbit. She'll get one, if she has to go to Amphipolis and buy it, I bet. She mused to herself, and the thought caused a fond smile to crease her face. Then she sighed, and went back to her writing, enjoying the task as she hadn't for a long time.

It's a beautiful night, and we found a really nice spot to stop in. Well, Xena found it, but I think she had it in mind from before we left, because it wasn't like it usually is, with her kind of poking around and mumbling until she finds something she likes and there we are. No.. this time she went right here, no stops, no hesitation… and I'm glad, because it's really, really nice here.

Wow.. that's twice in one sentence I said that. I must really like this place, or else I'm just giddy from being so tired. A little of both, I think.

I haven't felt this good in a while. In fact, I feel great, even though we just finished a couple of really nasty, really annoying days. I think we made a lot of progress with the Amazons, and I know I felt a lot better about the whole thing by the time we were leaving. It was a stroke of genius about the Amazon leathers… and I'd love to give her credit for that, but she says no.. that it was my idea, that's what they all think, so leave it.

I feel better about us tonight than I have since we left home.. since before the Furies. It feels so good to think about that I can hardly sit still, and I almost decided to go out hunting with Xena, except that I had stuff to do here.

Maybe.. maybe.. I can talk her into sparring a little. Just a little. We haven't done that in a long time.

It was a great ride from the Amazons.. I really like her wearing those leathers, and halfway after I'd said that about a hundred times she just laughed, and told me that's why she never complained about my outfit.

Duh! I had to laugh too. I feel as though some of the weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I even joked with her a little bit today, as we were riding. It felt… nice. I'm starting to not be able to keep my hands off her again, and I can't decide if that's embarrassing, or just .. inevitable. I had to keep myself from running my fingers up and down her skin the whole time we were riding.. gods.. even when she sweats, she smells good.

That's starting to become a problem.. well, not a problem, but a concern for me.. my body remembers…her.. and its like it has a mind of it's own when it comes to that. If I'm not thinking about it, I just start..touching her.. I can't help it. It's as though this wave of.. something.. comes over me and I just want to get close to her and never stop. It feels.. so good, its not that I can't stop it, I don't want to.

But I don't think she minds. She came up behind me before she left hunting tonight, and just put her arms around me, as we were watching the sun kind of paint the rocks here this really nice shade of bronze.

I got to say goodbye to Aaileen and her little baby this morning… she's really cute, and I have a feeling she's going to be very bossy.. because she's already waving her fists around. I told Ephiny she was a natural Amazon. I'm not sure how funny she thought that was, but I did, and so did Menelda.

She kind of warmed up to me, I think… she talked to me for a long time after I played with the baby a little bit. She really doesn’t like Xena, but she explained to me that what she's really afraid of is that I'm in trouble, and I just won't admit it. I had to explain to her that yes, I was in trouble, and yes, I do admit it, but that the only answer for my questions lie inside Xena, and inside our relationship.

I don't think she expected that answer. She seemed really concerned about Xena harming me.. and I told her that was always a possibility. She really didn't expect that answer either, I could tell. Then I told her a little bit about how I grew up.. and how Xena rescued me from that, and she just kind of got really thoughtful. I told her the potential for me hurting Xena was just as much as the opposite, and we both realize that, but the rewards are just too great for us to give each other up.

I think that was more grown up than she expected me to be, and more realistic. But she forgets I've had an awful lot of time to think about all this. Then she apologized for being so nasty to Xena yesterday.. and she told me she learned something from the experience. That was really interesting.

So .. here we are, in this really pretty glade, with a nice stew going, and a great view of the stars, and the possibility of rabbit for dinner. What more could I ask for? There is this feeling just under my skin that's bubbling to get out.. I can feel it. It's like it used to be, and that…I can't describe it. It makes me want to jump and run like a kid, and I'm not sure I can control that forever.

I'm just so tired of hurting, and so tired of having this cloud over my head all the time.. I'm starting to see some clear sky, and I think it's causing me to go a little bit goofy.

A gentle rustle of footsteps caught her ear, and she looked up to see Xena's shadow dappled figure enter the camp, carrying her bow, and still dressed in her Amazon leathers. In one hand dangled a furry bundle, and in the other, besides the bow, was a soft fabric pouch that was bulging with something unseen. "Hey." The warrior gave her a grin, as she settled down on one knee beside the pot and unwrapped the parts the skin held, slipping the cut up rabbit into the already bubbling stew. "As requested."

Gabrielle scrambled to her feet, and trotted over, dropping to a crouch next to her. "What's in that?" She pointed to the pouch.

"What?" Xena asked, feigning innocence, a long absent twinkle in her very blue eyes.

"That." She gave the sack a poke, not missing the twinkle, and soaking it in with a smile.

"This?" The warrior asked, raising it. "Oh.. nothing." She stood quickly, and moved out of the bard's clutches. "Just..um… well, nothing." She put the bag behind her back and smiled. "Nothing.. really."

Gabrielle just laughed. "Oh.. Xena.. you're so really bad at lying, you know that?" She hopped up and sauntered after her backing partner. "C'mon.. c'mon… "

The warrior raised both brows and snorted a little, then lifted the bag up over her head, and smirked. "Well, you'll just have to wait."

The bard narrowed her eyes, a wild shiver passing through her, and eyed the swaying pouch. "I can get that."

Xena laughed. "You most certainly can't."

A challenge tonight, was a bad idea. Gabrielle realized, as she began to bounce in place a little. "Oh yeah??" She calculated distances, and flexed her hands. "Watch me." Before Xena could protest, she launched off her mark, and headed towards her partner, picking up speed and leaping as she got within reaching distance of the taller woman.

"Whoaa!!!" Xena had to choose between losing her prize and letting the bard crash full into her. She dropped the bag and caught Gabrielle, and they both went tumbling over into the grass, landing with a thump.

Staring into each other's eyes, with surprise and startled delight, at a return to a physicality they’d carefully avoided.

"Guess you win." Xena smiled, and stretched out a long arm, pulling the sack towards them, then opening it and spilling it's contents over her chest, where they bounded and skittered all over like tiny red bunnies.

"Ooooo…" Gabrielle breathed. "Cherries." She was lying on top of Xena, and immediately snapped one up in a flash of white teeth, stopping with a comical expression. "Oh.. gods.. " She eased herself off her partner's chest and rolled onto the ground. "Sorry.. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Xena stretched lazily, and let her boots thump against the grassy turf. "Nope." She put her hands behind her head and gazed up. "Not at all." Hurt? The warrior laughed gently to herself. When she'd just seen a flash of playfulness from Gabrielle for the first time in… gods it seemed like forever. She felt sudden warmth against her skin, and looked up to find the bard crawling back into her favorite place, nibbling cherries off her with cheerful abandon. Wonder what got into her? "Like em?"

Gabrielle paused to rid herself of a pit, then grinned. "Love them." She plucked one up and offered it to the warrior. "You know I do."

The warrior smiled back. "Yep.. I do." She munched on the tasty fruit, then paused and glanced around. Ah. A quick aim, then a lizard was running for cover, stinging from a direct hit on the head.

"Xena!!" Gabrielle cried, giving her a tiny slap. "That poor little thing!!!" She gathered up the remaining cherries. "No more for you."

Her partner gave her a hurt look. "But I like them too."

Gabrielle studied her, then, slowly, a grin appeared. "All right.. " She offered her one. "But on one condition.. you gotta give me back the pits."

An eyebrow spiked up. "Um… ok."

"Without your hands." The bard added, settling down comfortably with her body tucked alongside the warrior's.

Xena studied her in some surprise. "That… could take a while." She finally commented, rolling the now decherried pit around in her mouth.

Green eyes captured her, absorbed her soul so completely she knew there was no return from this, not anymore. "We've got two lifetimes." Came the answer, as predictable as the summer rain.

"No. " She answered, as she lifted her head up and obeyed the condition. "We've got forever." She watched the bard gently discard the pit, and place another cherry in her mouth, which she bit in half. Xena smiled in wistful memory, and took the other half, chewing it slowly and transferring the pit back to her patiently waiting partner. Their lips lingered around it longer this time, tasting and reacquainting themselves to familiar sensations.

They continued sharing in a slow, sensual rhythm, until the bard had a tiny pile of pits next to her shoulder, and she'd forgotten to pick up a cherry on her last exploration. She was just after her partner's lips this time, and spent a long, unhurried few moments just savoring the taste.

Gabrielle's hands moved in a gentle movement across the bare skin above Xena's skirt, and she felt her breathing start to quicken, as her own fingers found familiar places on the body that was now arching against her own. But she let Gabrielle do all the advances, not pushing the bard, not wanting to scare her in any way. She merely responded, and moved at the bard's pace as her hands wandered freely, outlining contours that were subtly different from those she remembered.

The months had been hard on her, Xena realized, as she let her fingers trace a path up the bard's muscular waist and over ribs far more prominent than they had been. She could feel the faint bump where those ribs had been broken, and she smoothed the skin over it, then lost track of what she was thinking when Gabrielle's touch circled her breasts, and eased under the leather of the snug fitting outfit.

It was hard to keep in mind they were in the middle of the forest. Hard to remember that Gabrielle was unsure, and hurting from a horrible experience, and that she had to be still and not do what her body was demanding, was needing. Hard to just cradle her and concentrate on making her feel safe, and loved, and secure. Hard, but she did it.

Finally, Gabrielle paused, her chin resting against Xena's breastbone, and sighed, idly watching the goosebumps travel up the warrior's skin as her breath hit it. "Maybe we should have stayed overnight."

It was a quiet, sure admission, and Xena felt a happy chill tickle her spine. "We'll be home soon." She murmured, on an irregular breath, then she gazed at the bard's gently flushed face. "You ok with this?"

A smile was her answer. "Yeah, I'm fine." Gabrielle closed her eyes, and nuzzled the soft skin she was lying against. 'There is no memory ever that could stand up against what I feel when I'm with you." She paused, and continued in a soft, positive voice. "You are my life."

She felt the pause in Xena's breathing, and the soft catch, and felt the warmth as the strong arms closed over her in a hug. She let it become her world, and opened herself up fully to it, holding back nothing.

It was so sweet. It felt so good to be right, after so many months of being wrong, and feeling something that was so precious to her slip away through her fingers, feeling helpless to stop it. It had made her understand how fragile happiness was, and how rare, and now that it looked like she'd have a chance at it again, a fierce, powerful determination was growing in her to never let it go.

She was content to lay there for as long as Xena had a mind to, enjoying the cooling night breeze that brought tantalizing hints of their stew along with the sweet scents of the blooming flowers around them. It was now full dark, and she could only see faint, firelit hints of the warrior's profile if she looked up. Her hands were wrapped snugly around Xena's ribcage, and she felt warm, and happy, and at peace for the first time in a very long while.

The soft grass was tickling her back, and she twitched a little, reaching back to grab the offending stalk, but couldn’t find it. She settled again, only to feel the faint tickle and her brows contracted, until she realized it wasn't the grass.

A tiny, pained smile etched her face, and she let her fingertips skitter down the long expanse of exposed skin she was sprawled on. "I can't believe I let you get away with this kind of advantage for soooo long." She growled happily, as she felt the chuckle start under her ear. Then she yelped softly as the return tickle traveled up her side and across her belly. "Oh gods… "

But she had lots of open space this time, and she put it to good advantage, pressing her tactics between bouts of laughter until she felt Xena's body shiver helplessly in response, and the warrior dissolved into chuckles herself.

At last she stopped to catch her breath, and collapsed in utter contentment over her partner's still prone form. "Gods.. that felt good." She sighed. Laughing felt good. The breeze felt good. The air itself seemed full of life. "Hey.. you hungry?" She patted the surface she was lying on, and put an ear down. "Sounds like it." She teased gently. "Pretty hollow in there."

Xena yawned and nodded. "Yeah… I can smell that stew from here.. should be about ready."

It was. They curled up on the bedroll, and enjoyed it, Gabrielle alternating bites with trying out a new section to one of the stories she'd been working on, and Xena listening in idle contentment, not even realizing she'd managed to finish three bowls of the stuff until she found herself licking the spoon on the last drop. Damn. It felt so strange to be full, after so many months of getting used to being hungry all the time.. a hunger that food and water never touched. An empty feeling that had so desperately needed a something that had slipped so far from her she'd lost hope of ever finding it again.

And here it was.

She tucked her bowl away, and Gabrielle's, after a quick wash, and settled back down on the bedroll, watching the bard stow her scrolls. "Hey Ares.. " She called to the wolf, who trotted over and licked her. "Thanks… " She ruffled his fur. "You keep good watch tonight, ok?" Xena felt a wave of exhaustion finally catch up with her. "Been a long few days."

"Roo." The wolf yodeled softly, pricking his ears.

Gabrielle straightened the furs, then propped herself up on one elbow, gently untangling the dark hair that was strewn over her partner's shoulders. "You look like you've about had it."

"Mm." Xena blinked a little. "Yeah.. between all that stew, and not much sleep the past few days.." She rubbed her eyes. "I'm pretty wiped."

The bard pushed her back gently, and settled into her favorite spot, tracing a gentle, familiar pattern across the skin her hand was resting on. She watched the blue eyes flutter closed, and smiled as the body under her started to relax immediately. "Hey, Xena?"

"Mmm?" One eye edged open, and regarded her sleepily.

"How long are we going to stay at home?" The bard asked, in a quiet tone.

A long beat, then Xena drew breath. "Long as we have to." She answered softly. "Why?"

But the bard only nodded, and put her head down, sighing contentedly, and let peaceful sleep gently lift her away.

Xena let the morning birds warbling go on for a long time before she reluctantly edged an eye open, regarding the warm, early sunlight with some surprise. Later than I thought. She mused, a little sheepishly, then decided she didn't care, as she settled her shoulders back into the soft furs and blinked sleepily up at the gently waving leaves.

Ares was curled up against her lower legs, his jaw resting on her shin, but his ears pricked and swiveled as the forest sounds floated over them, and she felt a warm sense of drowsy peace that seemed to be overriding her normally edgy perceptions. It might have been the weather, or the good night's sleep, but she suspected it was more due to her own exhaustion, coupled with a release from the tension of being in the Amazon spotlight.

She let her thoughts drift back pleasantly to the preceding evening, and smiled at the memory of their fun with cherries, and that tickle fight, a first since.. She sighed softly. Since the night before she'd been stricken with the Furies curse. That last, sweet evening, when everything had been going great, and they'd been headed back home, after meeting up with Hercules and finding out they really still didn't know much about the necklaces, and the force that had targeted him, and them.

And then it all had changed. At first she'd put it down to aftereffects from the curse.. she'd felt odd, and very edgy, impatient… had found herself snapping at Gabrielle for no reason, and the bard, who at first was patient, after a while began to withdraw, and keep to herself a lot. Giving Xena pained, bewildered looks as they drifted apart that she could still see now, if she closed her eyes.

She hadn't had any idea what was going on with her.. it was just… she was angry all the time, and it just got to her.. and to the bard, who got angry in return.. and that had led to the silences between them.

Funny how cold a spring's night could be. She remembered one long night of exhausting drills, when she was headed back into the camp, and stopped just short, her hand on the bark of a tree, looking into the firelit circle and seeing Gabrielle just sitting there, her back against a stump, her arms wrapped around her knees, tears running down her cheeks, and an expression of such grief on her face that it almost brought the warrior to her knees.

And all she could do was stand there. The distance had grown so large between them, she no longer felt her comfort would be welcome, much less tolerated. She'd slid down the tree, and sat there in the dirt hating.. everything. Herself, her life, what was happening to them.. the fact that there seemed to be nothing she could do about it.

She'd never known where she found the strength, or the courage to somehow get herself back into that camp, startling Gabrielle, who looked up too late to disguise her tear streaked face.

They'd just stared at each other for what seemed like forever, in terrible pain. And then, because they were in the middle of wild wilderness with no one to turn to but each other, Xena had managed to end up on her knees in front of the bard and not knowing what else to do, reached a hand out, and hesitantly.. gently grasped Gabrielle's shoulder.

Somehow they'd ended up holding onto each other for dear life, unable to speak, unable to fix what was wrong, just both of them desperate for some kind of contact in all that cold.

And now… Xena gazed at the fair head tucked peacefully under her chin, and at the faint, wondering smile that shaped the bard's lips. Now.. her life seemed to be edging back towards a pattern she'd found herself in dire need of, and she pondered quietly ways to make sure it stayed that way.

It all, she realized, centered around her. Dahok had used her to achieve his goals through Gabrielle.. but was he through with them? She doubted it. She made too enticing a target, with a potential for evil that he would, and could use, else why try to separate her from Gabrielle? Only one reason for that.. he'd figured without the bard's influence, she'd be easy to corrupt.

Maybe he was right.

As long as she remained, she was either a prize, or a threat, on one hand, she could wreak havoc in his behalf, on the other, and she was a very dangerous enemy.

Unless.

Unless she laid down her sword, and stopped being.. what she was. Remove both the threat, and the prize. No point in bothering with a simple innkeeper in Amphipolis, was there? No more fighting, no more bloodletting. No more being a warrior.

Before, the thought had scared her silly. Now.. now… She looked inside her heart and realized a good part of her ached for it. Before, she would have never thought of giving that up. Now… Her eyes fell to the sleeping bard. Now, she could not only imagine it, she found herself seriously considering it as an option.

She didn't want to be a hero anymore. It hurt too much. She'd done what she could, and now… now it looked like the greater good would be served by her retiring from the field, and removing the temptation once and for all.

The more she considered it, the more the idea appealed to her. However, she tucked it back inside her mind, until they got home, and she had a chance to discuss it with Gabrielle. No sense in bringing it up out here.. let them heal a little, then…

She knew she should get up, and get them moving, but it was just so much easier to simply lie here and enjoy the sunny morning, and let Gabrielle remain snuggled up, deeply asleep. The bard's hands were twitching lightly, and her breathing was even, and very steady, and Xena found herself very reluctant to wake her. It felt so good to hold Gabrielle’s body against her own, without guilt, and know that they were becoming more comfortable with each other again. And besides, she quietly admitted to herself, I'm still tired.

So she let her eyes drift closed again. Just for a few minutes. She promised, as her body relaxed contentedly against her soulmate’s. Then we'll get up

Gabrielle took a long breath, savoring the pleasant, green scent on the soft breeze that was gently pushing the hair back off her face. She was aware of the warm sun that was lying over her, and her brows contracted a little as she realized just how late it must be. Her eyes opened in startled confirmation, and she blinked the sleep out of them as she glanced up at her still dozing partner. Wow. She bit back a soft giggle. It's nearly noon.. she's gonna die.

She took the opportunity to study the warrior, wincing a little at the prominent shadows under her eyes, and strain that was etched into the sharp lines of her profile. Even in sleep, there was a small furrow in her brow, and Gabrielle could feel the tension coiled in the body she was sprawled on top of. We need to get home… so I can make sure she takes care of herself for a while. The bard decided. Not that I'm in any better shape…We both need that

Xena shifted slightly, and her arm tightened around the bard's back, unconsciously bringing them closer together. Gabrielle felt the warm pressure as her bare skin slid against her soulmate's and indulged herself in the seductive wash of feeling that caused. Gods… She sighed softly, breathing in the nice mixture of leather and warm skin. I don’t know who I owe for this.. but thank you.

She let the quiet rhythm of the warrior's heartbeat lull her for a moment, then reluctantly ran a light finger up the bare side.

Blue eyes blinked open, then stared up at the sun in some shock. "What the..." Xena sighed, as she looked down at Gabrielle's amused face. "Hmph... musta been more tired than I thought."

The bard smiled. "I think we both were." She admitted. "I just woke up."

"Mm." Xena yawned, and stretched. "Oh well... " She shrugged lightly. "It won't kill us.. I woke up earlier this morning, and... " She paused. "Um... I just..."

"Fell back asleep." Gabrielle finished. "Yeah, I figured." She drew lazy figure eights on Xena's belly, then her brow creased, and she paused, trying to figure out what was wrong.

It took her a long moment before she realized the answer was nothing. That brought a tiny smile to her face, and she gave the warrior a happy look, as she cuddled her head back down onto the taller woman’s shoulder and tightened her grip, squeezing her in an excess of subtle joy.

Xena watched her with a bemused grin, then hugged her back. "What was that for?" She murmured, as the green eyes opened, and peered up at her intently.

"You have to ask?" Gabrielle replied softly.

The warrior’s lips quirked. "No.. I guess not." She admitted sheepishly, then lifted a hand to lace her fingers through the bard’s hair. "I can’t tell you how much I missed this." She added wistfully. "I feel like I'm dreaming."

Gabrielle gently kissed her breastbone. "No dream." She stroked the soft skin and rubbed a fingertip over a faint scar. "I missed it too." She paused, as a guilty thought crossed her mind. "Um..that.. was kind of a crazy thing I did last night.. jumping at you and all.. I'm..…"

A finger touched her lips. "Don’t… apologize. Please." Xena pleaded softly. "I'm.. glad you felt comfortable enough to do that."

The bard chewed over that for a while, looking at it from a new perspective. "Yeah.. I did." She commented, in a faintly surprised tone. "Actually.. I didn’t even think about it." She confessed frankly, as she rolled over, and let Xena sit up, watching the warrior stretch the kinks out of her muscles. "I guess I was in kind of a goofy mood last night." She laughed softly, and stood, arching her back and grimacing as her vertebra popped. "Oof." She'd had a problem with that ever since… Hope. That and strange new aches her body had quietly suffered, protesting the abuse it had taken. It made her look at Xena in a whole new light sometimes, realizing if that was what she was going through after her experiences.. what must her partner be dealing with?

"Hey…" Xena grabbed her shoulders quickly, and eased her back into an upright position. "Take it easy there." She ran a concerned hand down the bard’s spine and found several knots. "Here..put your arms around my neck."

A blond eyebrow jumped. "Sure." Gabrielle laughed, and complied, then grabbed tighter as Xena wrapped her arms around the bard’s back and straightened to her full height, lifting her partner’s feet off the ground and letting her dangle.

"Now.. just relax." The warrior instructed, and felt the bard try to comply. "C’mon.."

Gabrielle sighed. "It’s hard… I can’t..oh.. "

Xena tilted her head and gently found her partner’s lips, kissing her with a quiet, sure intensity. She grinned inwardly as she felt Gabrielle’s body go limp in her arms, and she heard the soft clicks as her spine realigned itself properly. "Better?" She asked, pulling back, and letting the bard down carefully.

"Oh yeah." Gabrielle breathed, not letting her go. "I don’t think I mind backaches anymore.. if that’s how you get rid of them."

They went through their routine of getting the camp packed up, but Gabrielle noticed that neither of them were moving with any kind of speed, which she attributed to the late start and the enticingly warm sun, which made her really want to find a shady spot just like the one right over there near the water, and curl up to watch the day go by.

She mentioned that in passing to Xena, who was tightening up Argo’s girth, and the warrior half turned and gave her a wry look. "You too?" She asked with a hint of chagrin. "Must be something in the air."

"Roo." Ares agreed, from his comfortable spot curled up under a tree.

They both looked at the wolf, then at each other, and sighed. "It’s nice here." Gabrielle grinned weakly. "I… um… I don’t suppose… "

For an answer, Xena’s hands dropped off the mare’s tack, and she unhaltered the horse, then held out a hand in silence to her partner who took it. They walked over to the large tree overlooking the lake and settled down in its shade, watching a pair of ducks swim in lazy circles around each other.

Gabrielle leaned comfortably back against Xena’s warm presence, and felt the warrior’s arms settle around her as they gazed dreamily out at the gently lapping water. "This is awful." She commented, with a contented sigh.

"Yep." Xena agreed. "Terrible." She let the irresistible wave of tiredness that had been nudging at her flow again, and eased her head back against the tree. "Mph.. I think it all just caught up to me." She admitted quietly. "I could use a day off."

The bard turned her head to regard her partner thoughtfully. "Yeah.." She put a gentle hand up and felt Xena’s forehead. "Hey.. you’re a little warm." She turned her partner’s face towards the light a little, and studied her eyes, which had a faint hint of glassiness about them. "I think you spent a bit too much time in the rain." She informed her ruefully.

Xena felt a sinking sensation, as she realized the bard was probably right. "Damn. That explains why I feel so lousy." She let out a disgusted breath. "I should…"

"Ah ah." Gabrielle shook a finger at her, and rose to one knee. "I know what to do… and you’re going to sit right here and let me do it."

The warrior smiled up at her. "Yes, mom." She replied wryly. "It’s probably nothing… I can fight this off." I hope. She inventoried her reserves, and didn’t like what she found. "I think." She looked down as Ares wandered over, snuggling up next to the dark haired woman’s hip, and putting his head down on her thigh.

The bard sighed. "I’ll be right back." She crossed to their gear, still neatly stacked, and pulled out Xena’s healer’s kit, putting the water pot, not yet packed, back on the flames. The herbs tickled her nose as she opened the kit, and found the right ones from long memory, having taken them herself on more than one occasion. She was a little worried, but not much, since Xena had a pretty strong constitution, it probably wasn’t serious, and she actually found herself glad of a chance to coddle her partner.

Glad that Xena was allowing it, as she hadn’t after Chin. She’d picked up a lousy infection in those dungeons, and Gabrielle had watched in sad disappointment as the warrior quietly, but firmly rejected her hesitant offers of help, merely saying it was nothing, and she’d deal with it, keeping the bard at arm’s length.

That had hurt. She’d spent such a long time breaking down that particular wall of Xena’s, to where the warrior would actually tell her when something was bothering her, and here they were, back at square one. She’d felt very small after that, knowing that the forgiveness Xena had shown her in that dank dungeon had only gone so far. Not that she’d blamed her… but it still hurt.

Now she poured the boiling water over the herbs, which she’d carefully measured into one of their wooden cups, and let them steep, as the sharp, familiar scent rose to her on the steam. She stirred it a few times, then bit back a smile as she added honey to it, changing the scent subtly as the sweet drizzle dissolved.

It was the little things, she decided, that really proved they were moving in the right direction. Little things like this, and Xena’s cherries last night, and the unconscious physical contact that had started to grow between them again. They could talk about it all they wanted, but words weren’t important. The little signs between them told the true story, just like they did in the bad times. She decided she liked this story one Hades of a lot better than the other one, as she stood up and swirled the herb tea, then knelt briefly at their packs and picked up a small piece of soft woven cloth and brought it with her back to the tree.

"Here." She dropped down and handed the cup to the warrior, folding her hands around it. She waited for Xena to take a sip, then gently threaded the cloth around her neck, and tucked it in place, smoothing the dark hair back with a sense of wistful pleasure. "Maybe we’d better get moving.. get you home, huh?"

Xena took a deep swallow, and thought about that. "I…um.. I think I'll be ok." She allowed. "Maybe a day of rest’ll help." She let her fingers brush the fabric. "Thanks."

Gabrielle settled down at her side, and rested her head against the warrior’s shoulder, gazing out over the water. "Anytime." And that brought a tiny, relieved smile to her face. Trust wore many masks, she realized, one mask was taken off last night when she’d flung herself with total confidence at the taller woman. Another, more subtle mask had been taken off today, as Xena had once again lowered her defenses and allowed herself to be vulnerable, to accept Gabrielle’s care without reserve.

Xena was, she suddenly realized, taking the bigger risk of the two of them, because physically Gabrielle knew in her heart she really had very little to fear from the far more powerful warrior. On the other hand, she knew that Xena had decided to reopen her heart to their bond, to trust her with her most sensitive weak points, knowing that she had the potential to drive an emotional dagger right into them.

That she had before, and had lied and betrayed that trust for whatever reason when Xena.. though her actions had resulted in pain and anguish, had never knowingly done anything to hurt her. Not even in Britannia, when it had been her choices as much as Xena’s that had lead her to such disaster. Xena had never forced her to stay with Krafstar. Had never forced her to attend the ceremony. Hadn’t forced her to kill Meridian.

All Xena had done was to sense her pain, even through their estrangement and try with everything she had to stop what was happening. And had cradled her for hours and hours afterward, whispering heartbroken apologies.

"Dinar for your thoughts?" The low voice sounded from over her head, and she looked up to see her partner watching her.

"Um… " Honesty, Gabrielle. That’s what got us in trouble with each other, we weren’t honest, remember? "I was just thinking about us." She paused, and tucked her fingers around Xena’s hand, which was resting on her thigh. "About how you’re taking such a big risk."

"Me?" Xena replied quietly "What about you?"

Gabrielle shook her head. "Not the same thing, and you know it." She gazed down at the thick grass. " Don’t put on your warrior princess routine and pretend I didn’t hurt you, Xena. That’s not fair to either of us."

Long silence. "Yes, you did." The warrior finally answered, in a low voice. "More than I ever thought possible.. it was like having my insides cut up with knives." She hesitated. "But we share the blame for that, Gabrielle. There are a lot of things I would have done differently, given a second chance."

The bard swallowed. "Do you worry that it might happen again?"

The wind sighed over them. "Yes." Xena gave a stark answer. "I.. don’t think I’d survive it " She let a moment of dead calm fall. "And I'm not sure you would either." It was quiet, and true, and dangerous. "I.. came very close to the edge this time." The pain, and rage had overwhelmed her, and she'd let it, until she'd come up against the rock wall of knowing she was, in this state, capable of killing Gabrielle. And for a long, nightmare moment, she'd wanted to.

Her soul had shattered with the knowledge.

Now she ducked her head, and made eye contact with her partner. "I think I've put my heart in a pretty safe place."

Gabrielle met her eyes, and was lost in that blue regard. "Someday." She whispered softly. "I might believe I deserve that again." She lifted Xena’s hand up and brushed the back of it with her lips. "Until then, I’m just going to accept it." She hesitated. "And I hope you accept that I feel the same way about my risk."

Xena studied her for a long moment, then let her eyes close in silent acknowledgment. She leaned her head against Gabrielle’s, and felt the bard snuggle closer, tucking a hand around her arm and letting out a soft sigh. The warrior let the warm feeling that started build in her, then took a breath. "I need you." She made the admission quietly, and sensed the stillness next to her as Gabrielle stopped even breathing. "I didn’t realize how much, until you.. were gone." It came out simply, and she wondered just why it had taken this long for her to say it. Maybe it was the fever.. she dropped her eyes to the bard’s bent head, and wondered if she’d gone too far.. put more pressure on her soulmate than she really needed to.

But Gabrielle just curled up into her and held on, stroking her gently. "I need you too.." She finally sighed. "The difference is I’ve always known it." She paused. "From the very beginning, when I looked up across that fire one night and realized I’d let you become my whole world."

Xena accepted that. "I'm sorry I hurt you." Another simple truth. "I'll do my best never to do that again." No promises, no declarations. Just.. that.

Gabrielle smiled into her leathers. "I'm sorry I hurt you, too." Now she finally looked up. "And I'll do my best never to do that again either."

And she felt something ethereal click into place, as their eyes met, and it relaxed a tension she hadn’t even been aware of, somewhere down very deep. She put her head down on Xena’s chest again, listening carefully. "Breathe." She commanded gently, and felt the movement under her, then lifted her head and gave the surface a little pat. "Sounds good."

Xena tangled her fingers in the red gold hair spilling across her chest and let out a little sigh. "Good thing.. I really.."

"Hate being sick. Yes, I know." The bard laughed, then shook her head a little. "I know." She studied the water. "Do you want to try moving on, or stay here? I don’t mind.. it’s pretty… " She reached up and gently felt the warrior’s forehead, not missing the almost involuntary closing of her eyes when she did so. "But I really want to get you home, and in bed."

Xena opened one eye, and curved its attendant eyebrow up suggestively, which caused the bard to blush.

"Gods." Gabrielle chuckled. "You know what I meant."

The warrior took on a hurt expression.

"Oh… well… " Now a real smile. "That too."

Xena relented, and leaned back, considering. Home.. sounded damned good, but she really didn’t have the energy to… " She took a long look at Gabrielle’s face, and read the weary need there without effort. "We’ll go." She decided. "Better now.. then if it gets worse."

A look of relief flickered across Gabrielle’s face, and she nodded. "OK.. I'll make you another cup of this.. then get you up on Argo, and we’ll head out.. how’s that?"

A half grin. "Sounds like a plan."

Gabrielle knelt down and dipped the waterskin under the surface of the cool water, watching the bubbles rise fitfully as it filled. She cast a worried glance back towards the campfire, keeping an eye on the quiet form leaning against Argo’s saddle near it.

They’d gotten further than she’d thought, and were now most of the way down the mountain, but Xena’s fever had risen, and she knew the warrior must be feeling really lousy by her lapse into tense silence, and the increasingly glazed look to her eyes. By nightfall, the bard realized she was staying on Argo’s back by willpower alone, and they’d stumbled on this place mostly by chance, and she’d gotten Xena down off the mare, and onto their bedroll, tucking her cloak around the warrior’s lightly shivering body.

Now she had a small pot of soup going, and she’d left Ares to keep Xena company, while she filled the waterskins, and arranged the camp. She’d made Xena pick out the herbs she’d need for fever earlier, and now she had them tucked in her belt, and intended to get them into a hot tea as soon as she got back.

She slung both waterskins over her shoulder, and made her way through the dense underbrush, stepping out and into the small campsite, watching weary blue eyes track her as she crossed in front of the fire, and stopped to put the waterpot on, then continued forward until she was at her soulmate’s side. "Hey.." She dropped to a knee and felt her head, grimacing. "Wow."

"Hot, huh?" Xena asked in a slightly hoarse voice.

"Very." The bard replied. "How are you feeling?"

Xena briefly contemplated deferring the answer, then decided against it. "Lousy." She blinked. "Every bone in my body aches."

Gabrielle remembered what that felt like, on that long trip back from Britannia, when at first she’d tried to hide it, pretend it wasn’t there, until Xena finally, guiltily, called her on it and she admitted to the pain, sleeping in peace that night for the first time in weeks after drinking down some disgusting potion the warrior had offered her.

And had half woken up, midway through the very dark night in that small, cluttered ship’s hold, finding herself cradled gently in Xena’s arms, and looked up to see the feeble moonlight reflecting off the water sidle in the window, and reveal her soulmate’s exhausted, tear streaked face. She’d thought about getting herself free from the warrior’s grasp, because Hope was still very fresh in her mind, but it had felt so good to just.. she couldn’t do it, that was all. Whatever happened in the morning would happen, but for right then, she was where she needed to be. It had been a moment of much needed peace, for both of them.

"Do you think that stuff you gave me on the ship would help?" She asked, offering Xena some water. "It did.. "

The warrior was shaking her head. "Different problem." She winced. "Same symptoms, but… " She gave Gabrielle a rueful look. "Sorry to be such a nuisance." She popped the cover off the spout of the waterskin, and took a drink, then wiped her mouth and stared pensively at the fire. "Thought I could just shake this off, but…" A tiny shake of her head. "I don’t know." She felt.. damn… drained, was the word she was looking for, and that made her very uneasy.

Gabrielle pushed her back against the saddle, and fluffed up the folded cloak she was using as a pillow. "You’re not a nuisance, and you know it." She scolded gently, as she tucked the soft cloth around Xena’s shoulders. "Stay right here."

Xena nodded docilely, and watched her as she made up a fresh infusion, returning the smile on Gabrielle’s face when she sweetened it, and added some crushed mint leaves. The bard brought it over, and sat down next to her, offering her the cup and letting her hands drop lightly onto the warrior’s body when she took it.

Xena took a sniff of the steam rising from the cup. "Put enough mint and honey into anything, and I’ll drink it, huh?" She remarked teasingly. An old joke between them. "Thanks."

Gabrielle laughed softly. "It works for me." Then she paused a little. "You know.. I think… it wasn’t ever anything you put in there, Xena…I felt better even before I drank it.. just something about having you.."

"Care?" The warrior asked quietly. She gazed into the cup cradled in her hands. "Yeah, it makes a difference."

The bard nodded, and patted her leg gently. "Yeah, it really does." She got up and went to the fire, stirring the pot of soup and adding a few herbs to it, then tasting it gingerly. Hmm… almost.. the steam from the vegetable broth had a faintly spicy, faintly lemony hint to it that was making her mouth water, and she stirred in a touch more basil, swirling the tiny pieces of vegetables around in the process.

She glanced over her shoulder, finding her soulmate’s eyes fastened on her, and smiled, then picked up a deep bowl, and ladled some of the soup into it. Well.. She mused. Here goes nothing… hope I did this right. She walked over and knelt down, handing the bowl over and setting a spoon inside it.

Xena blinked, and her brow furrowed, as she picked up the spoon and hesitantly tasted a mouthful. She paused, then gazed up at her soulmate in surprise. "Where’d you learn to make this?"

Gabrielle felt a warm spot start inside her. "Your mother showed me." She interlaced her fingers, and took a breath. "Did I get it right?"

The warrior took another spoonful, and swallowed slowly. "It’s perfect." She replied, simply. "Thank you… it’s… one of my favorite things."

The bard grinned. "I know." Then she chuckled a little. "Mind if I have some too? The smell is killing me."

That got a soft laugh. "Go ahead… " Xena nudged her towards the pot, and waited for her to return before she continued eating. "Haven’t had this in forever.. mother used to make it when we were little. Lyceus tended to come down with coughs all the time.. " She gave the bard a look. "Like you."

"Mm." Gabrielle was busy chewing. "This is worth being sick for… where’d she come up with it?"

A shrug. "Not.. my area of expertise." The warrior admitted wryly. "You’ll have to ask her." She took another mouthful, and savored the taste, letting the heat and the steam reach up and clear the pounding congestion she could feel settling in her head. She finished the bowl, and looked at the empty bottom. "I feel a lot better now."

The bard chuckled, and poked her. "C’mon, Xena.. it’s just soup."

Blue eyes glanced up suddenly and captured her own. "No." Her soulmate said softly. "It’s more than that." She reached out and touched the bard’s nose with a gentle finger. "You cared."

Gabrielle beamed. It felt really strange, but she did, a big, delighted grin appeared on her face, and she felt a bubble of happiness come out as a relieved laugh. "Of course." She let out a gentle sigh. "Of course." She captured Xena’s hand and pressed it to her face. "I never stopped caring, Xena… never.. please believe that."

The painfully open look surprised her, as she watched her partner slowly put the bowl down, and blink at her. "Me neither." Xena answered, with a wistful smile, as she interlaced her fingers with her soulmate’s. "Thanks… for telling me that."

The bard rubbed her hand gently. "You didn’t know?"

A half hearted shrug. "I.. wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d stopped."

Gabrielle gave her a direct look. "I wouldn’t have blamed you either." She answered bravely, then bit off a grin. "I guess we’re lucky we’re both sentimental mushballs, huh?"

An eyebrow quirked. "Yeah." Xena agreed, glancing down at her bowl, which mysteriously disappeared. She looked up, startled, as Gabrielle crossed back over to the fire, and refilled it, then brought it back and sat herself down, taking her own bowl onto her lap.

She hadn’t thought she was really hungry, but the soup was so good she managed to get down both bowls, then she settled back against the saddle and snugged the cloak around her, idly watching the bard as she pulled out her diary and sharpened a quill. Must be the fever, she mused, as a giddy chill passed over her. Damn.. how can I feel this good and be this sick all at once?

The flames of the fire made interesting shadows on Gabrielle’s face, and she found herself just watching them change, as her partner concentrated on her writing, her eyes moving in gentle glints.

The bard bent her head a little towards the parchment, and bit the tip of her tongue as she pondered over a word, pausing, then nodding a little and writing on. Three years. Xena mused, hardly believing it. She’s changed so much. The warrior sighed, studying her soulmate's profile. Gabrielle's face had lost its babyish softness, and acquired the lean planes of adulthood, with lines of experience that told of the long journey those three years had become.

Her youthful innocence had been tempered, and darkened, but burnished with a courage whose depths Xena was only now coming to understand. She had always loved Gabrielle.. in the best of times, in the worst.. but now she also respected her, in a way that she had so very few people in her life.

Damn if that soup hadn't made her feel better. She felt a light sweat break out on her skin, and her body relaxed as her fever broke at last. She let her head drop against the cloak, and closed her eyes, staying that way until a hand touched her head, and she opened one eye, to see Gabrielle kneeling at her side, a damp cloth in her hands. "Done writing?"

The bard gently ran the cloth over her face, and smiled. "For now." She studied the dazed eyes across from her. "You’ve cooled down a little."

"Told you the soup works." Xena managed to mumble, with a rakish grin. "Took a lot out of me, though.. I feel weak as a kitten." Truth. She could hardly keep her head up now, and she was struggling just to make her eyes focus on the bard's face. 'Need nother dose." She forced out. "Fever'll come back."

"Shh." Gabrielle soothed her, gently pushing the damp hair off her forehead, and laying her palm on it. "I know.. I'll have some ready.. you rest now, OK?" She tucked the warm cloak up around her partner's neck, and watched her eyes flutter closed. "That's it…good girl."

A blue eyeball reappeared, with an almost humorous glint. "Gabrielle?"

"Mm?" The bard leaned close. "What.. I'm here."

"I am many things… but I have never been, and never will be, a good girl." Xena rumbled softly.

Gabrielle smothered a grin, and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "Ok.. you've got a point there." She watched as her partner slipped off into sleep. No.. she mused wryly. She's not a good girl. The bard idly straightened the disheveled, dark hair. But she is my best friend.

She glanced around, and reached behind her, dragging her parchment over so she could remain tucked against Xena's side, leaning against the edge of the saddle and keeping an eye on her sleeping soulmate. The quill suffered more chewing on its bedraggled edge, before she scribed another few words down on the stiff surface.

Life is hard, I find.

Hope dwindles, and leaves us empty,

But full of the hatred that seems

To be the lot of us all.

How often we fail.

We turn to the darkness,

Giving up the light as too hard,

Too impossible to bear.

But sometimes, we are lucky.

Once in a lifetime, once only

And not in all lifetimes, but few,

We find something special.

Light finds a way.

To capture even the darkest heart,

And bind it without question,

To it's other half.

You are part of me.

I no longer fear the darkness,

I embrace it,

As I embrace the joining of our souls.

There is no night too dark,

No evil too thick,

To stand against the truth.

Love conquers all.

Gabrielle studied the words for a moment, then gave a satisfied sigh, and closed the diary, after carefully blowing on the entry to dry it. She stifled a yawn of her own, and blinked a little, rubbing her eyes. "Ares.. you keeping guard?"

The wolf looked up from his protective position curled up against Xena's lower legs, and sniffed at her, then cocked his head, and sneezed. "Good boy." The bard informed him, then grinned. "And you can't mutter at me about that, either."

"Roo." The wolf sighed, as he settled his dark head back down onto the warrior's shin. Then his head came back up, and his ears twitched. "Grrrrrr." A low, warning growl issued from his throat.

"What?" Gabrielle felt her skin prickle, and she reached out unconsciously for her staff. The smooth wood had just touched her fingers when she saw motion at the edge of the camp, and bolted to her feet, with Ares abruptly pressing against her legs. "Who's there?" She called, trying to project the kind of ringing authority she always heard in Xena's.

A crackle of footsteps, then four shadowy forms melted into view. "Oh boy." She breathed. "What do you want?"

The nearest laughed. "Our bounty."

Gabrielle shifted her weight forward, and felt her grip tighten on her staff. "Bounty for what?" She asked, more to keep them talking than anything else. She had a good idea for what already.

"Her." The leader jerked his chin in Xena's direction. "Enough money to keep us a good season… and it doesn't look like she's gonna put up much of a fight." He grinned, and unsheathed an axe.

"No." Gabrielle stepped forward, and brought the staff up into a defensive posture. "But I will. " She braced her legs, letting her knees bend slightly as Xena had taught her.

"Grrrrr.." Ares added, his ruff lifting. He stalked a few steps forward, stiff legged, and showed his teeth.

"Aww.." The man laughed, moving straight for her, followed by his men. "A girl and her dog.. how cute." He stepped around the fire, and raised his axe, bringing it towards her.

She caught the hilt against her staff and twisted to one side, deflecting the blow, then swiveled in place, bringing the other end of the staff around and slamming him in the shoulder with it. "Still think it's cute?" She breathed, backing a little, and trying to keep them all in her line of sight. Two were edging around to her left hand side, but were keeping a wary eye on the bristling Ares, who growled.

"Bitch." He lunged at her, and got past her guard, but his hand slipped on the axe handle and she just caught the flat against her ribs. She ignored the jolt of pain, and swung back, knocking him off balance, then dropping to a knee and sweeping her staff in reverse, taking his legs out from under him.

He dropped with an oath, but then two more were charging, and Ares was leaping at one, teeth bared as he grabbed the first one's sword arm in his teeth, and shook his heavy head vigorously. The man screamed, and stumbled back, with the wolf on top of him. Ares shifted his grip to his neck and bit down, cutting off the man' s scream in mid sound.

Gabrielle didn't spare him a glance, as the third man rushed her, and she caught his chest on her staff and shoved back, glad for all the hours of drilling that built strength in her legs. He recovered his balance, and came forward again, swinging a thick club at her, which she ducked, and jabbed him in the midsection with the end of her staff. He groaned, and dropped the club, and she took the opportunity to swing around almost fully, and catch him in the head, which dropped him like a rock. Breathing hard, she glanced around, then froze, as she spotted the fourth man standing across from her, with a crossbow pointed at her gut.

She felt a wash of nervous heat tremble down her body, as she lifted her staff slightly, and focused on the bolt. A low growl caught her attention, and his, and she risked a glance towards Ares, who had finished with his first opponent, and was stalking towards her current antagonist, blood dripping from his dark jaws in a hot, red trail.

The crossbow shifted, and she realized the man's intention, her eyes widening. "Hey!" She yelled, and jogged his aim, and the bolt flitted through the wolf's thick coat, causing him to jump. The second bolt came her way, and somehow she avoided it by lunging to one side, swinging her staff clenched in both hands and sending him staggering.

But she lost her own balance, and stumbled to her knees, and saw out of the corner of her eye the flickering motion as he drew his sword and leaped towards her, slicing down hard.

By instinct alone, she dropped onto her back, and caught him in the chest, as his sword plummeted past her and dug it's way into the dirt. She pushed off, and sent him flying right into the fire.

His dirty leathers burst into flames, and he rolled off, screaming in agony, as she scrambled to her feet in shock. She ran towards him, but he managed to flop over onto his back and put the fire out, then hauled himself to his feet and took off running, followed by two others, dragging the third, Ares' victim, between them.

Silence descended, except for a healthy sneeze from Ares, who shook himself, and wandered over to her, sniffing her knee and giving it a little lick. Gabrielle leaned on her staff, then slowly pivoted and stumbled over to where her partner lay helpless, and dropped down next to her, letting the staff fall, and hugging her knees to her body.

"We did it, Ares." She whispered faintly, as the wolf snuggled up to her, and she tried not to notice the dried blood around his muzzle. "We protected her."

"Arrrgrrrooo." Ares sighed, and settled down to lick his paws.

Gabrielle stared unseeing at the fire, thinking about the man she'd kicked into it. A little slower.. a little less agile.. and he could have died. The man I hit in the head could have. She felt a sweeping wave of horror, and leaned against the saddle, crying softly, knowing she felt a difference in herself now, in the knowledge that she was capable of taking a life.

It was a dirty feeling. She knew if she opened her eyes, she'd see the blood on her hands again, even though she'd scrubbed, and scrubbed after killing Meridian. It never went away.. and she'd understood, painfully, what Xena had meant when she'd spoken about the blood staining her own hands.

She never wanted me to feel this. The thought brought fresh tears, and she slid lower against the leather of the saddle, and pressed her cheek against Xena's warm arm, wrapping tentative fingers around her biceps. She never did… I never understood why it was such a big deal for her. Now I do.

A hand touched her cheek, and she blinked her eyes open, scattering a thin sprinkle of tears as she looked up at her soulmate's dazedly confused face. "Wh.. what's wrong…what.. " Xena struggled to sit up, her brow tensing as she fought to focus her vision.

"Shhh… " Gabrielle rubbed her eyes, and put hand against her partner's shoulder, pushing her gently down. "It's all right.. it's over.. just some guys, that's all."

"Just….. " Xena fell back against the saddle, gazing at her in shock and horror. "Are you all right?"

The bard took a very deep breath, and let it out. "Yes." She swallowed. "They.. um… Ares and I..we…everything is ok." She paused, and felt warm fingers curl around hers. "They were.. out to collect a bounty on you.. I um… took exception to that." She sniffled softly, and pushed her hair back. "I didn't mean to get all… but I kicked the last one, and he caught on fire and…."

Somehow, Xena managed to push aside the unnerving weakness and get her arms around her soulmate, and pull her into a comforting hug. She felt the bard's soft sobs, and gently stroked her hair. "Thanks for protecting me…." She whispered softly. "Are you all right? Did you get hurt?"

"N…no." Gabrielle answered shakily. "I just… it's just different." She paused, and let out a breath. "Just like you said it would be, Xena…. it changes everything once you cross that line.. I wish I'd understood what you meant."

"Oh." The warrior closed her eyes in comprehension. "I never wanted you to understand that."

The bard sighed, a warm tickle against Xena's skin. "I know you didn't." She cuddled closer. "Now I know why." She stayed silent a long moment. "So much happened after that, I didn't think about it for a long time." She looked up, to see her soulmate making a very determined effort to stay alert, and listen to her, and that… meant something. "Look at me here… " She reached up and gently caressed the warrior's cheek. "You're so sick, and I'm babbling."

Xena bit her lip. "I missed your babbling." She answered. "You got so quiet.. and I.. didn't know what to say to you."

Gabrielle nodded wearily. "I was so angry with you… because you acted like it was nothing."

Xena closed her eyes and drew back, stung, not expecting the words. Had she? Memories of a shadow haunted forest in Britannia cycled through her mind. She hadn't meant to.. she had just been trying… damn. A sick wave rolled over her. She had. Damned insensitive, clueless, useless…

"No.." The bard realized her error, and curled a hand around her partner's shoulder. "No… you were right, Xena…you were trying to get me past that.. so I could look at it objectively, because it happened.. it was over.. and we were in a dangerous place." She took a breath.

"I wasn't right." The warrior answered in a soft, bitter voice. "I was…I hated myself so much for letting that happen to you I couldn't even think straight."

"Shh… we don't need to talk about this now." Gabrielle could have slapped herself, seeing the glassy look returning to Xena's eyes. "Let me get you more of that stuff… " She started to get up, and stopped, sucking in a breath at her stiffened side. "Ow."

Xena's eyes suddenly cleared, and she gathered herself up, as she grabbed Gabrielle and eased her back down onto the sleeping furs. "To Hades with me.. what happened to you?" She savagely pushed the waves of dizziness down, and forced her body to respond, running careful fingers over the bard's side and stopping as she felt the lump. "Gabrielle…"

"It's nothing." Gabrielle told her quietly. "I just didn't duck fast enough." She winced as Xena's touch hit a particularly sore spot. "Story of my life, lately." She took a deeper breath. "It's not broken..I know what that feels like."

"No." Xena responded with a sigh. "Just bruised." She relaxed a little, and gazed at her soulmate. "Kinda like us."

That got a wry smile from the bard. "Yeah.. come to think of it." She felt the ugly feeling ease. "Xena… does it ever get so that you don't think about it?" She watched the warrior slowly lay her head back down. "Or you stop caring?"

The blue eyes turned inward for a long moment. "I did." The admission seemed to be wrung from her. "For a long time."

Gabrielle let out a slow breath. "But you do now, right?"

A long silence, then Xena swallowed. "Most of the time." She stopped, and blinked. "But sometimes, when I'm out there, against a whole lot of them… no." Her shoulders slumped. "Then I don't care… I just get caught up in it, and.. and I…" A light seemed to die in her eyes. "I guess I just… it's…" She stopped and shook her head. "I’m a killer. I can't change that." Then she looked up. "But you're not… and you won't ever be, Gabrielle."

'How do you know that?" The bard asked softly, moving closer, and putting an arm around her partner's shoulders.

"You feel too much." The warrior whispered. "You hurt for everyone."

That, Gabrielle realized, was the truth. "Especially for you." She let her head rest against Xena's. Damn. She mulled it all over. I even felt bad for that guy I kicked into the fire. He was trying to kill me, and I felt bad about him getting burned. That's so strange. "I feel so disappointed in myself." She gazed up at the warrior. "I feel like I disappointed you too."

Xena laid her head gently against the bard's. "Don't." She whispered softly. "You're my guiding light, and you always will be, Gabrielle." The words came tumbling out haphazardly. "I could never be disappointed in you."

Gabrielle's face buried itself in her shoulder for a long time, and she felt the sensation of warm tears against her skin.

Finally, the bard took a long breath and straightened, rubbing her eyes and sniffling. "Sorry." She looked up as Xena took a corner of the cloak and gently wiped the tears from her face. "All I've been doing lately, seems like."

"Does it make you feel better?" The warrior inquired.

Gabrielle thought about that in silence, her face pensive. "Now it does, yeah." She rubbed her cheek against Xena's arm. "For a long time it just hurt." She felt a faint, tired smile appear. "It's… kind of healing things now." She blew out a breath, and eyed her partner with a raised eyebrow. "So.. how many bounties do you have out on you, anyway?"

Xena came back from whatever far off place her thoughts had taken her, and let out a disgusted sigh. "I dunno., I never kept track." Her brow creased. "Most of them are pretty old though…"

"Three years at least." Gabrielle agreed, studying her partner's still downcast look. "Hey.. Amphipolis fund raiser.. we go around and pretend to turn you in for the bounties, then escape with the loot." She paused. "How about it?"

Xena chuckled against her will. "Oh..yeah.. I can just see that." She gave the bard a sideways look. "Gabrielle.. listen… I.. maybe I was just fooling myself.. but I never wanted you to have to know what it felt like to take a life." She sighed. "Even though I knew.. given the life we lead, that wasn't a realistic expectation."

The bard thought about that. "So.. you knew.. it would happen someday."

A nod. "I… was always hoping… I mean I knew I could prevent it." Long pause. "I could have left you home, or taken you back there, or left you in any of a dozen places." A pained smile etched her lips. "Or I like to think I could have." She pulled the cloak a little closer, and considered. "Probably not though, huh?"

Gabrielle had been giving her a look. "No." She stated flatly. "You know me better than that." She fussed with the cloak, tucking it neatly around the warrior's shoulders, and felt Xena's head. "You're warm again." She got up and poked the fire back into some reasonable kind of shape, packing tinder around it, and blowing it back into life.

She'd always felt.. kind of special, she realized. Kind of… superior, she admitted to herself. Because she'd never killed anyone.. yet traveled in the company of someone who did little else but. Even with the Amazons, she'd always… it was like being anointed with something sacred, this blood innocence.

Now it was gone.

She was just like everyone else she chose to make a life with.. and that , in her own eyes, diminished her. It had been important… even Xena had thought so.. Hades, she'd risked her life in the Dreamworld just to tell Gabrielle it was. She'd watched her brother die again, to preserve it. She'd prayed to the gods to prevent her from killing Callisto.

Everything was different, now. She wondered how it made her look in Xena's eyes, now that she was no longer an innocent, in any sense of the word. She looked back over her shoulder, and found those eyes fastened on her.

With a look of absolute love in them.

It was different. Something very basic had changed between them.

They had become equals. Gabrielle realized, and it felt very strange. She stirred the cup she was holding, then stood and went back to the bedroll, and sat down. She looked at the cup, then at her partner, who cocked her head a little. "It really bites being a grown up, Xena." She handed her the cup. "I used to pray for the day you'd stop treating me like a kid." She let out a soft, dry laugh, and rested her elbows on her knees. "I wish… " She stopped, and let the thought trail off. I wish I could be that kid from Potadeia again, and see the world all in bright colors like I used to.

Xena swallowed down the infusion, and set the cup aside. "C'mere."

Gabrielle looked up at her in question. "What?"

The warrior moved the cloak aside, and opened her arms. "C'mere."

"But… you… " The bard found herself complying anyway, as she crawled across the furs, and settled herself into her soulmate's embrace. Even with the fever, she could still feel the strength in those arms, which closed around her as solidly, and securely as ever. "Mm." The comfort felt so wonderful, she let herself get lost in it, until she felt Xena take a breath, sucking air down deep, and heard her low, clear voice singing.

It was an old, old lullaby, one as familiar to her as her own name. She listened to it, and let it sink into her, the warrior's beautiful voice lending a depth to it that her mother's never had. She felt her soul reaching out to Xena's, and knew she was no longer lost, no longer on the outside.. this was real, and it was love, and it was hers.

"That was wonderful." She murmured, when silence at last fell over them. "My mother used to sing that all the time when we were little."

"I know." Came the soft response. "I heard her humming it when we visited. I asked her to give me the whole thing."

"For me?" Gabrielle asked, in a small voice.

"Of course." The warrior gave a tiny laugh. "Who else?"

The bard smiled, into the soft linen of the clean sleep shirt she'd made Xena put on, and hugged the warrior, feeling faint shivers pass through her body. "You doing ok?" She gave the surface she was snuggled against a pat. "Am I bothering you being here?"

"Nuh huh." Xena objected, in a drowsy mumble. "Warm."

That was all right by her, Gabrielle decided. She pulled the cloak over both of them, and closed her eyes. Another day and a half and they'd be home.. where they'd have the time to work more things out, and rebuild their lives on what was turning out to be not so bad a foundation. As long as it takes, did Xena say? Gabrielle thought about that, as the snap of the fire, and the heartbeat under her ear began to lull her to sleep. Maybe that would turn out to be longer than either of them imagined.

The sunset lit the summer fields in deep gold, as Gabrielle leaned against Argo's shoulder and put a hand on her partner's thigh. "You doing ok?" She gazed up at the shadowed blue eyes speculatively. It had been a long day, but they'd kept on going, and now were coming down into the flatlands nearing the river valley that held Amphipolis. She'd been riding behind Xena most of the time, more to keep a good hold on her sick soulmate than anything else, and she'd wrapped her arms around Xena's overly warm body and gripped the saddlehorn, as the warrior alternately shivered and sweated.

Now, she'd gotten down off the mare to stretch her legs, and looked around. "Not much cover here."

Xena leaned against the saddlebow, and ran fingers through her dark hair, pushing the sweat dampened locks back. "No.. not much." She agreed. "Listen.. fever's broke again.. I feel a little better. You want to keep going? We can be home by midnight." Better.. that was relative. Her mind mused. But.. at least she was conscious, and in her right mind, and the vague fuzziness that had characterized her thoughts all day seemed to have faded, leaving her tired, but no longer locked in a shivering misery.

Gabrielle.. had been fantastic, she admitted. The bard had gently encouraged her, and put up with her fevered protests all day, forcing her to stop and rest periodically, and making sure she had plenty of water, mixed with the fever reducing herbs she'd secured from the warrior's healing kit. Never complaining, even though she'd spent the entire day on horseback. Now she let her thumb rest against the soft, golden tinged cheek. "How about it?"

"Home." Gabrielle agreed with one word, as she stroked the warm skin under her hand. She tapped Xena's armored calf. "Out." Meaning her to free up the stirrup so the bard could remount the mare.

Xena shifted in the saddle, and held an arm down to her. "I think I've got enough left to haul you up here."

Muscular shoulders shifted, as the bard put her hands on her hips. "You'd try it even if you didn't." She accused gently. "I am perfectly capable of getting myself up on a horse, Xena."

The blue eyes dropped, and Xena quietly removed her boot from the stirrup, leaning forward and to one side so Gabrielle could get a grip on the saddle to pull herself up.

Gabrielle studied her silently, then put a hand on her knee. "On second thought.. " She said softly. "It is kinda high." Her fingers stroked the soft skin above the armor, and felt the muscles tense under it. A hand curled under her elbow, and she grabbed a solid hold on the back of the saddle as she was lifted up, and swung a leg over Argo's back, settling into place against Xena. "Thanks."

"No problem." Her partner replied quietly, as she gathered up the mare's reins and tensed her calves, starting Argo forward. She kept her eyes on the pricked ears that flicked back and front, and tried to ignore the steady upset in her guts that even the slightest hint of conflict with her partner stirred up. Maybe it was the fever. She tentatively considered that, and discarded it. No.. She took in a breath and let it out. Still some deep holes left in here I guess.

Her eyes closed when she felt the gentle fingers touch her shoulders, and start a slow probing of muscles so tight they ached. The tension gradually dissolved, as they rode down into the waving fields of summer browned grasses, watching the dying light shift the colors from burnished gold to twilight blue, and the evening breeze picked up, brining the scent of summer to her senses. Gabrielle's arms slipped around her, and tightened securely, and she lifted her free hand, and covered the bard's. "Thanks." She glanced back over her shoulder and spotted a flash of green eyes. "Um… there's some dried meat.. and a few apples in the bag there by your knee."

The bard obligingly dug them out, and tucked a piece of meat between her teeth, then handed one up to her partner. "Here." She watched as Xena took it, then gave her a look until the warrior started chewing halfheartedly. "Come on.. " She gave her an encouraging pat. "I know you probably don't feel like munching on that dry stuff, but I think you need it.. you look kinda pale."

A nod of the dark head. "Yeah… I know… " She put a little more enthusiasm into her swallowing, and took a long sip of water. "I'm trying."

Gabrielle smiled, and rubbed her belly, then continued on, giving her partner a light massage everywhere she could reach around her armor. "Be nice to sleep in a real bed tonight, huh?" she reminded herself. Our bed, It felt so strange to think about that again. In our own cabin… and she had to admit to herself that she was finding a core of fear twisting her own guts, when she thought about facing Xena's family.

"Oh yeah." Xena mumbled, around a mouthful of meat. "At least it'll be quiet when we get there tonight… give us time to settle in." She cast a glance at her soulmate. "You still nervous?"

The bard rested her cheek against the leather covered back. "A little." She admitted with a sigh. "I..I know you said…I don't know, Xena.. it's just weird." She watched a passing tree, shedding its tiny red flowers, several of which lodged themselves in her partner's dark hair. "Kind of like how it was for you with the Amazons, I guess."

The warrior patted her hand. "It's going to be fine, Gabrielle.. you know how my mother feels about you." She paused. "You are… really.. a second daughter to her."

"Yeah.. well.. " Gabrielle studied her partner's back grimly. "She went off all over Ephiny… and all she did was say she was mad at you."

Xena tucked her discomfort away in the place she usually kept that sort of thing, and turned her attention fully to her partner. "Gabrielle, you are not Ephiny." She paused. "Good thing, too." A hesitant attempt at humor. "It's gonna be ok."

"What's wrong with Ephiny?" Gabrielle asked perversely, knowing it was her nervousness talking.

"Nothing." Xena replied, nudging Argo into a canter. "Except that she isn't you."

OK.. well, that's clear enough. Gabrielle acknowledged, then, unable to help herself. "Do you think she's pretty?"

The warrior's brows knitted. "Who.. Ephiny?"

The bard scowled. "Yeah, Ephiny.. who else were we talking about?" She gently combed her fingers through Xena's hair, plucking the few, russet blossoms from it and holding them to her nose. They smelled like cinnamon, she decided, a rich tickly scent that blended pleasantly with the warm smell of the well conditioned leather Xena as wearing.

Silence, as Xena considered the question. Finally she shrugged. "She's all right."

"All right? What does that mean?" Gabrielle pursued. "Do you like her? What about Solari?"

Ten years of being a warlord, leading armies, defeating damn near every single significant general of my time, and I almost fall into this… damn… I must be either slipping, or this fever is getting to me. "Gabrielle… they're all nice people, and very ok looking."

"That's pretty noncommittal." The bard grumbled, aware that she was probably overtired, and therefore a little cranky.

A faint smile crossed the warrior's tired face. "Well..ok.. " She sighed. "See… I'm… really kinda particular." She guided Argo's steps down a narrow path through the grasses, feeling the light sting as they hit her legs. "She's.. a little too tall.. and her hair's a little too curly, and her eyes are too.. um.. gray."

"Really?" Gabrielle felt a grudging smile tugging at her lips, aware that she was being gently teased. She heard the faint sounds of crickets starting, and a solemn hoot from a nearby owl. "They all seem too short to me." She felt the faint chuckle under her hands.

"I.. don't see them most of the time.. " Xena drawled. "My attention is elsewhere."

"Oh really." Came the soft answer, and Gabrielle found her hands drifting without permission, feeling the soft, warm leather under her fingertips, that shifted over the muscular body under it as Xena moved. She'd seen that, actually.. she mused, remembering watching Xena cross the center of the Amazon village, as all eyes turned towards her, and fastened on her lithe, powerfully moving body. The warrior had seemed oblivious, merely letting her dour gaze scan the village, flicking over and dismissing the Amazons until it turned her way, and that quirky half smile lit her face and her eyes warmed. For Gabrielle alone. She wondered why sometimes.. since she considered several of the Amazons, at the very least, prettier than she was.

"Sure… " Xena confirmed quietly. "No contest."

Gabrielle nuzzled her back, breathing in the scent of sun warmed leather, and heated brass. "I love you." It came out as naturally as taking a breath.

Xena's hand closed over hers. "I love you too."

An owl hooted, at the mare's rustling footfalls, passing two travelers onto the faint, barely seen beginnings of the road leading to Amphipolis.

Xena glanced up, then shook her head a little to clear it, realizing she'd nodded off, lulled by the mare's rhythmic stride. She peered into the darkness surrounding them, and let out a soft sigh. Almost home. Another few minutes and.. A soft trill sounded, breaking the almost breathless silence. The clouds had built in overhead, obscuring the moon and the wind had died, leaving the only cooling breeze that made by Argo's movement.

She hooted gently back, and received a second trill. "Hey.." She called softly, feeling Gabrielle stir against her back.

"Hmm..?" Came the sleepy response. "Oh.." The bard lifted her head, and recognized their surroundings. Too late to be worrying about her reception now.

The long grasses rustled on the side of the road, and dark figure trotted towards them. "Xena?" A man's low, excited voice. "Thank the gods… " He came closer, squinting.

Gabrielle held her breath.

"Ah… " A smile creased his face. "My luck to be passing this news on to Cyrene.. both her girls are home." There was no mistaking the tone of pleased relief in his voice. "Hello, lass."

Xena felt the soft sobs against her back, and she released the mare's reins, grabbing Gabrielle's hands in her own. "Easy…" She whispered over her shoulder, chafing the suddenly cold hands in her own. She gave the man a tired grin. "Hello, Entis."

The man took a step back, and sent a call off towards the town, waiting for a response, then sent another, this time tagging on the hawk's cry that identified the tall warrior. "Mostly sleeping there, cepting us few watchers."

"Yeah… leave it that way.. time enough to stir things up in the morning." The warrior acknowledged quietly, as she nudged Argo forward. "C'mon, Ares.."

They continued down the road, passing now between familiar fields. "You ok?" Xena half turned.

"Yeah." The bard's voice was muffled against her back. "Sorry." She straightened up and wiped her eyes, watching over Xena's shoulder as the village grew larger in front of them.

Argo's hooves sounded unnaturally loud as they moved quietly through the moonlight, through the wooden gateway that lead into the village, and then into the central area that held the inn, and the stables, and, off to one side, barely seen in the dim light, their home.

The mare slowed to a halt before the inn, and Xena hesitated, gathering her strength to dismount. She glanced up as the door opened, letting out a gentle stream of candlelight that outlined the unmistakable shape of her mother's form, and heard the soft gasp as Cyrene headed down the stairs.

She freed her boots from Argo's stirrups, and slid off the mare's back, feeling the painful shock as her legs hit the ground and she absorbed the drop on aching joints. "Hello, mother." She said softly, turning and catching Gabrielle, who was following her after a moment's hesitation. The bard's body was shaking, and she gave her a brief hug before she turned to meet the oncoming woman.

Cyrene paused and studied her for a long moment, then pulled her into a gentle hug. "Oh honey…you made it." She whispered softly. "I'm so glad to see you.. to see both of you." She patted her back, then released her, and turned to the smaller woman whose eyes refused to meet her own. She put her hands on the bard's shoulders, and waited a beat, until Gabrielle's head lifted, and she could look into her face. "Daughter.. thank the gods you're safe."

She saw the tears start, and she gathered the bard to her, feeling the almost soundless sobs that shook her body "Shhh…" Her eyes lifted over the bard's head, and found a pair of aching blue ones fastened on her. She slowly shook her head, and patted Gabrielle's fair hair. "It's all right, honey.. you're going to be fine."

The moonlight shifted out from behind the clouds, and outlined Xena's tall form, and she noticed the pallor in her daughter's face. Her gaze sharpened. "Are you all right?"

Gabrielle took a deep breath, and straightened, backing out of her grasp and half turning towards her partner. "No." She said softly, hoarsely. "She's sick." She sniffled a little, and rubbed her temples. "We got caught in the rain.. the Amazon village flooded… "

Cyrene wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You're not much better." She gave Xena a stern look. "You both take yourselves off to bed, right now. I'll take care of this lady, here." She poked Argo, who snorted. "We'll talk in the morning."

Xena felt her shoulders slump in relief, and she unstrapped two saddlebags from the mare's tack, before putting a hand on Gabrielle's wrist. "Sounds like a great idea." She gave her mother a desperately grateful look. "C'mon."

They walked slowly across the earthen courtyard in silence, with Ares frisking at their heels, and mounted the steps to the cabin, hearing the familiar hollow echo and creak as their weight hit the boards. Xena put her hand on the latch, and pulled the door open, blinking into the friendly candlelight that streamed out.

They were home.

They stepped over the threshold, and moved into the familiar confines of the cabin, as Xena slowly pushed the door closed behind her. She scanned the interior, letting the sights sink into her mind. I never thought I'd see this place again. She admitted to herself, as the warm, known colors and scents gently overwhelmed her. She leaned tiredly against the wall, and closed her eyes. A hand on her cheek made her lift her lids, to see Gabrielle's tear streaked face facing her.

"Come on." The bard urged quietly. "We're both exhausted… it's just too much right now. Let's get some rest."

The warrior took a deep breath and nodded, then pushed off from the wall, and walked over to the small table, dropping their saddlebags onto the chair. She heard Gabrielle moved across the cabin behind her, and the sound of the linen press opening reached her ears. "Mom's dusted in here." She mumbled idly.

A stillness as the bard paused. "Didn't you come in here…" When she picked up Argo.. I thought…

"No." Came the stark answer. And more quietly. "I couldn’t." Couldn’t come in this room, and see so many memories of..no. Not and see the things they'd both picked out for the place, and the trinkets that were Gabrielle's scattered about… the fireplace they'd spent so many contented evenings in front of….

No.

Gabrielle pulled out two clean sleep shirts from the press, sucking a lungful of the herb scented air that wafted up with them, then crossed over and gave her partner a little rub on the arm, before she started unbuckling the straps that held the heavy armor to her. "Yeah.. I would have.. felt that way too." She admitted, looking around as her fingers worked unsupervised. "Lot of memories here."

Xena lifted her armor off, and dropped it to the wooden floor in a muted clash, then knelt to unbuckle the leg straps. "Yeah." She acknowledged briefly. "And.. at that point.. I didn't think there were going to be any more."

The bard's face tightened in pain, but she remained silent, as she worked Xena's bracer off. Finally, they both stood, and changed, then faced each other.

No one said this was going to be easy. Gabrielle sighed inwardly. In fact, she supposed, if you went out and asked anyone, they'd probably say it wasn't possible at all. She stepped closer, and held her hands out, encouraged when the warrior took them. She felt Xena's thumbs gently brush against her knuckles, and smiled a tiny, wistful smile. "C'mon.. I could really use a soft bed for a change." She tugged gently, and Xena followed her to the large bed, and watched as she pulled the colorful cover down.

It was a dream, the warrior's tired mind kept insisting. They weren't here, Gabrielle wasn't snuggling down into bed, and tugging her shirt. She wasn't sitting down on the edge of all that softness and letting the scent of linen washed with her mother's herb soap rise around her. But somehow it kept going, and she felt her body relax against the coolness of the sheets. She kept her eyes closed, afraid if she opened them, it would all just.. disappear.

The fabric warmed to her body, and she felt Gabrielle's hesitant motion at her side. She let one eye slide open, and saw the tense, almost fearful look on her partner's face. "Hey.." C'mon, you're scaring her to death. Snap out of it. "C'mere."

Gabrielle let out a long, slow breath as she found her familiar spot, and felt Xena's arm curl protectively around her back. She was here, in a place she'd never thought to see again, and as she let her exhaustion take over, the only thought she had left was that she wasn't going to ever leave.

Cyrene leaned against the windowsill, watching the sun come up and send shafts of warm light into the back herb garden, where her comfortable room faced. She always did this, in good times and bad, and reflected that by and large, the world kept turning in it's predictable way regardless of how her life was being impacted at the moment.

This, however, was a good morning. The crops had been very productive this summer, despite the heavy rains, and the inn was doing well. She was.. Her eyes drifted to the bed, where Johan was sprawled asleep, and she shook her head in bemusement. She was very satisfied as to how that all turned out, though getting involved again after all this time had surprised her, to say the least.

And now, against the odds, against her expectations, her daughters had made it home.

Both of them. Battered, torn.. bruised.. one look at Xena's eyes had told her volumes, but they'd made it, and most importantly, they'd made it together. Despite everything.

She'd grieved to hear of her grandson's death. But she'd grieved more to hear how, and realize what that must have done to the two people who both loved him. At what that must have done to the gentle bard, faced with a situation so horrible Cyrene could scarcely believe it had happened at all.

That she had lived through it was amazing enough. That Xena had, and not lost her mind entirely, was another thing. That they had somehow been bound by a love so strong that it allowed them to overcome the overwhelming loss, and the anger, and the guilt.. that, to Cyrene, was the most impossible thing of all.

But they had. She'd seen in last night, in just those few moments she'd had with them, before she'd ushered them off to bed. The gentle touches, the looks…the attitude her violent daughter had towards this young girl and no other, ever…

Incredible.

Now, all she had to do was make sure they had time, and peace, in which to put the pieces back together again, if that's what they both wanted. And she thought they did. With a sigh, she straightened up, and tugged her tunic straight, then quietly exited the room, and headed purposefully for the kitchen.

One thing for sure, she decided, they both needed some decent meals. "Morning, Eustace." She commented, as she pushed the door open.

"OH!" The cook whirled around from her position near the stove. "Ma'am.. was that Argo I saw back, then?"

The innkeeper smiled a little. "It certainly was."

The heavyset, younger woman hesitated, her face a question that her mouth was reluctant to ask.

"They're both back." Cyrene confirmed quietly. "They've had a time in Tartarus, Eustace, but they made it home."

The cook put a hand on her chest. "Oh, ma'am.. you have no idea how glad I am to hear that… I was missing them.. especially the little one."

An image of those haunted green eyes drifted in her mind. "Me too, 'stace." She sighed. "It's going to be a while before things settle down for them, though." She picked up a basket, and tucked a square of clean linen into it. "I'm going to fix them a little something for breakfast, and I'll leave it there… they need the sleep."

The morning was already heating up as she crossed the courtyard, and mounted the steps to the cabin. She pushed the door open very quietly, and peered in, spotting Ares dark head immediately curled in his favorite position at the foot of the bed. She shook a finger at him, mentally chastising the wolf for running off and worrying them. Then she slipped in, and set her basket down carefully on the table, as she quietly regarded the two sleeping women in the bed.

Xena was on her back, as usual, her disheveled hair covering the pale linen case. Cyrene could see the lines of strain clearly engraved in the familiar profile, along with the dark circles under her eyes, and she shook her head a little in dismay. Gabrielle was curled up in her favorite spot, her arm thrown over Xena's waist and her head pillowed snugly on the warrior's shoulder. There was, to her eyes, a strange peace about them, a peace that was broken slightly when her daughter's eyes fluttered open, aware of her presence.

"Mother?" The blue eyes blinked a few times, then focused.

"Shh." Cyrene crossed to the bed and sat on its edge, putting a hand on the warrior's forehead. "Just dropping you off some breakfast when you're ready.. go back to sleep, honey." She smoothed the dark hair back. "How are you feeling?"

Xena thought about that for a moment. "Better." She sighed. "Got caught in all that damned rain… had a lousy fever for a few days." She cleared her throat a little of its hoarseness. "Luck, I guess."

Cyrene shook her head. "No, I think it's your body's way of telling you it's time for a rest, Xena." Her voice was very low, but serious. "I hope you're going to listen to it."

The warrior let her eyes close for a moment, then opened them, and looked down at the red gold head resting on her. "I am." She whispered. "My priorities in life have changed, mother."

The innkeeper studied her for a long moment, then folded a hand around Xena's. "Go back to sleep. We'll talk later, ok?" She straightened the covers, giving her daughter a rueful glance when Gabrielle stirred, and tightened her grip, then settled back down. "She's not going to let you go, hmm?"

Xena slowly shook her head no. "Johan make it back ok?" A faint, ghostly glint of amusement sparkled.

Cyrene's eyebrows knit, and she put her hands on her hips. "He told you." She accused, with a mock scowl.

The warrior's eyebrow quirked. "I guessed."

"Hmph." Her mother snorted. "No comments from you, my dear." She leaned down and kissed Xena's forehead. "To sleep with you, girl."

Xena yawned, and let her body relax into the softness of the bed. "Yes, ma'am." She closed her eyes, and felt her mother's playful tug on her hair, that brought a faint, wistful smile to her face. She submitted to her body's insistent urging, and let sleep take her again.

Gabrielle woke, finally, to what she realized was afternoon sun streaming in the window. Oh… gods. She blinked her eyes open, and winced, as she tried to move.Oh… that was a baaaad idea. "Ugh." She felt a faint chuckle under her head, and lifted her eyes up. "Ow."

"Stiff?" The warrior asked sympathetically, rubbing her back.

"Mmm." The bard flexed her body. "You been awake long?" She glanced around her, letting the sights of her home sink into her awareness. Last night she'd been… it had all seemed so strange. Now, in the light of a new day, here in her own bed, in a place where every thing in her eyesight was known, and familiar… she felt her natural optimism resurging. She propped her chin up a hand. "How're you feeling?"

"No, and not too bad." Xena replied, stretching slowly. "Mom was here this morning." She nodded towards the table. "Brought some goodies." She'd had a lot of time to think, waiting for her partner to wake up. A lot of time to get used to seeing the friendly sight of home surrounding her. Her spirits had risen accordingly. "Hungry?"

"Yeah." Gabrielle answered softly. "You… were right about your mother.. Xena.. I…"

The warrior surprised both of them by just ducking her head and silencing her partner with a kiss. She broke off, a little confused, and cleared her throat. "Um.. sorry.. I.. "

"Don’t be." Gabrielle sighed happily, as she sat up, and climbed over her partner, stopping to stretch her body out, then grabbing the basket and jumping back into bed with it. "Mm." She lifted the linen covering it, and an enticing smell drifted up. Then she took a breath, and touched something.

"What?" Xena lifted herself up , and peered inside, then looked up at her partner, and made a mental note to thank her mother. "Nutbread, huh? Even odds that's not for me." She told the bard gently, and was charmed to see a shy, pleased smile crease the bard's face. "Gabrielle?"

"Hmm?" The green eyes glanced up from the basket and met hers.

"We're home." Came the quiet response.

The shy smile grew broader "We are."

"Gabrielle!" The male voice called over, as she made her way across the sunset lit courtyard. She looked up to see one of her old students hurrying over from the direction of the stables. Xena had settled herself on the porch, dressed in an old tunic and soft boots, and promised to remain there until she returned, so the bard had taken the opportunity to visit the inn, and thank Cyrene for the nutbread.

"Hello, Fantres." She gave him a tentative smile. He had been one of her more adept staff students, a shorter than average villager with tow brown hair and a freckled face.

"Wow.. I'm glad to see you." The young man said, a touch breathlessly. "I'd heard.. well.. I'm really glad you're ok." He gave her a shy look. "Are you.. staying a while?" A stammer. "I mean… not.. I… we thought maybe… you'd.."

The bard relaxed a bit. "I think so… yes.. we'll be here a while. You .. looking for more lessons?"

He nodded happily. "Yeah.. we try doing it ourselves, but we're kinda clueless." He gave her a lopsided grin. "We missed ya."

Gabrielle felt unused facial muscles stretch in a warm smile, one that crinkled her nose up and extended to her eyes. She watched him respond in kind. "I missed you guys too." She admitted softly. "I'm glad to be home."

He let out a happy sigh. "Great… I'll tell the others… we kinda hoped… um.. " His expression went serious. "We're real sorry, Gabrielle.. all that stuff happened." He chewed his lip, including the straggly moustache. "Shouldn't happen to someone nice like you."

The bard rubbed his arm with a gentle hand. "Thanks.. I really appreciate that." She glanced around. "It's late today.. we can start tomorrow.. or whenever you all want." Not a bad idea, really.. and it would give her a taste of normality. She hadn't sparred in… gods… months. Xena just.. wouldn't, not since…they'd come back from Chin. She'd found she missed it.. missed the simple companionship that had left her pleasantly tired at the end of the day, when she'd flop down onto their bedroll, and let her body recover as she updated her diary.

"All right.. tomorrow then.. same place?" Fantres agreed cheerfully. "We'll be there." Then he shuffled his feet. "You aren't.. by any chance… uh.. " His eyes went to the inn door, then back to her. "No.. silly question.. you just got back. Nevermind."

Gabrielle felt a warmth start in her gut. "Not tonight.. no.. " She gave him a quiet smile. "I'm still kinda beat… but maybe tomorrow."

He grinned bashfully, and waved, then trotted off, disappearing behind the barn where she could see several hands grab him, and heard a brief, muted cheer.

She looked down at the packed earth, and crossed her arms over her chest, letting the gentle waves of relief course through her. Xena had been right, and for once, she was too grateful to be annoyed at the warrior's accuracy. It felt too good. She raised her head as the door opened, and spotted Cyrene's face peeking out at her.

Oh boy. She realized she was still nervous about her partner's mother, and took a deep breath before she straightened her shoulders, and walked over to the door. "Hi.." Her throat closed on mom, and she fell silent instead, feeling very awkward. "Um… I.. " A hand gently grabbed her arm, and she was pulled inside the inn.

"Sit down." Cyrene told her quietly, going behind the service area and coming back with a pitcher of cold ale, and two glasses. She poured them each a glass, and sat down, waiting until Gabrielle had taken a nervous sip before she took a healthy swallow herself.

Where do I start? Gabrielle wondered, as she studied the glass, and felt the beverage shift from a coldness to a gentle warmth in her belly. I can't even look at her. She took a breath. "Thanks.. for the nutbread." She whispered. "Thank you.. for making me feel welcome here."

She missed the look of pained sympathy on the innkeeper's face, but suddenly felt the pressure as Cyrene's hand covered hers. "Oh, honey." Cyrene said softly. "You'll always be welcome here, no matter what, don't you know that?" She stroked the bard's arm. "I know you've had such a terrible time.. my heart aches for you."

Gabrielle forced her gaze up, to meet the heartsick eyes across the table. "I hurt her so much and you can still say that?"

Cyrene sighed. "Gabrielle… you're the most important thing in her life, you know that, don't you?"

The bard studied the wooden table, picking up a splinter of wood in her free hand. "I guess I do." She took a long swallow of ale. "I just never thought I was capable of doing what I did."

The innkeeper licked her lips. "Listen.. I..thought that too, once." Now it was Cyrene's turn to study the table's surface. "Gabrielle.. there was a time.. after Cortese, when an oracle came to me, and told me.. what my daughter was going to become."

The bard fastened her eyes the dark, silver shot head bowed before her.

"I had to choose… between letting her live, and risking the consequences, or.. stopping her." Cyrene gazed sadly up at the bard. "You don't know how very many times I regretted that decision." She winced at Gabrielle's shocked expression. "So many people.. so much destruction. On my shoulders." A shake of her head. "I brought her into the world, you see. I could have stopped her. And I didn't." She looked at her hands. "I had friends who died at her hands."

Gabrielle felt like a band was compressing her chest. "But…"

"So I know where you've been, Gabrielle. I've walked that path." The innkeeper said quietly. "And when she came back, and begged me to forgive her.. well… I decided it was time I rectified that decision. No more.. no more deaths, no more killing.. I told the village she was here." A tear rolled down her cheek. "I didn't even feel bad about it." She looked up into Gabrielle's eyes. "And she knew that.. I wanted her to feel the betrayal that I felt, when she became the monster I could have prevented."

A silence fell. Then Cyrene sniffled, and continued. "And then…after they started on her, and I saw she had no intention of fighting back, I was glad. " She bit her knuckle. "I was glad, Gabrielle.. that they were going to kill her, and she was going to let them." She covered her eyes. "When you came in that door, I thought you were crazy."

"Everyone does." Gabrielle whispered, still in shock. "It never seemed crazy to me at all."

"But you saved me from losing my soul, Gabrielle.. because that's what would have happened, if they'd killed her." Cyrene said brokenly. "You hardly knew her, and there you were, ready to risk your life to save hers.. and that's how I'll always remember seeing you first, honey." She leaned forwards. "We all make mistakes in our lives, daughter… if you're very lucky, as Xena and I have been, you're allowed to be forgiven for them. "

The bard sat frozen for a long moment, then got up and came around to her side of the table, and then they were in each others' arms. "Oh mom." The bard cried softly. "I'm so sorry.. I would have rather died myself than have something happen to her.. or to him."

"I know." The innkeeper closed her eyes in sorrow. "Honey, I know that." She stroked the soft golden hair gently. "It's going to be all right, here me?"

Gabrielle took a shaky breath, and straightened, pushing her hair back behind her ears. "I.. yes, I know it is… we've um… it's.. we're pulling back together… I didn't think we.. but we are."

The dark haired woman patted her cheek gently. "I can see that." She took a deep breath. "Speaking of which, how's she doing? She seemed a little better this morning."

The bard took a sip of ale, and swallowed, then a second. "She's.. her fever's down, but she's not bouncing back from this like she usually does." She replied honestly. "I'm a little worried about her."

"Me too." Cyrene agreed quietly. "I think you both need some time to just relax, and take it easy." She smiled. "Sound good?"

Gabrielle smiled back. "Oh yeah." She squared her shoulders, and glanced around the familiar confines of the inn. The room was empty, it being well before dinner, and there was a quiet peace about it, as the late afternoon sunlight poured into the windows, and laid bars of gold across the tables and wooden floor. "I've really missed this place."

Cyrene studied her speculatively. "We've missed you." She responded quietly. "I thought the road was calling you, though. Maybe it was getting a little boring here."

The bad drained her glass, and watched as Cyrene refilled it, without objecting. The rich scent of the fermented barley beverage was very attractive, and it had been a long time since she'd indulged. "I.. thought it would be the same… traveling around.. but I forgot the stakes would be so much higher.. the risk… if we're going to rebuild our lives, I'm not sure I want to take that chance again."

"Mm." Cyrene took a swallow of her own ale. "How does Xena feel about that?" So much easier to ask the bard, then to poke around in her daughter's conscience.

Gabrielle felt her body relaxing under the influence of the alcohol, and she let it, taking another few swallows with studied deliberation. "I don't… know. I.. don't think she'd be happy staying in one place all the time." Or was that true anymore? "But..if she thought she… if there was something she was.. responsible for… maybe."

"Hmm." The innkeeper mused, thoughtfully. "Interesting." She looked up, and gave Gabrielle's hand a pat. "Let me get you something to take back for dinner.. unless you're up to joining us tonight." Her voice lifted in question.

The bard chewed over that. "Probably not… but…" She felt a need to regain a sense of normal life she'd known here. "Let me see how it goes." She finished off her second glass, and stood, squeezing Cyrene's hand. "Thanks."

The innkeeper smiled. "I'm just glad you're both safe." She stood and bustled behind the service bar a moment. "Here… take these back with you. "

Gabrielle couldn’t prevent the little grin that twitched her lips. "Ooo." She broke of a tiny corner of one cake and nibbled it. "I missed these, too."

That got a big grin from the dark haired woman. "Go on with you…make sure you share."

One blond eyebrow quirked up. "If she asks nice." A sweet smile, then the bard was gone, slipping out the door leaving behind a gentle scent of linen and herbs. Cyrene sat for a while longer, a thoughtful expression on her face, considering. She thought she saw a way… but the trick would be… to make her stubborn daughter believe it was all her own idea.

Continued in Part 6

Standard Disclaimer - These characters, most of them, belong to Universal, and Renaissance Pictures, and whoever else has a stake in Xena: Warrior Princess. This is written just in fun, and no copyright infringement was intended.

Specific Story Disclaimers:

Violence – Violence - yes, there will be violence of a moderately graphic nature in this story.

Emotional distress - I have to put in a disclaimer here for this, because this story, unlike most of my other stories, is an extremely dark one. There is not a whole lot of humor here, and most everyone ends up not being happy through most of the story. IF you're looking for a warm and fuzzy tale, this ain't it. You might want to give this one a miss.

Subtext - As in all my stories, this one is based on the premise of two people who are very much in love with each other. They happen to both be women. There is no graphically depicted action here.. but if the thought of this gives you a problem, find a different story to read. There are lots of very good general fiction Xena stories that can be found everywhere.

I'm not offering any goodies for the phobes this time round. But if you feel like I've beaten you over the head with angst in this one, then send me your snail mail address, and I'll forward over some Girl Scout Original Mint cookies, and some milk. That always makes me feel better.

 Any and all comments are always welcome. You can email them to:

 mailto:merwolf@bellsouth.net

Darkness Falls - Part 6

By Melissa Good

Gabrielle frowned at the obviously empty chair on the porch, then squinted as she thought she saw a blur of blue clad movement. Her lips twitched. Well, she did promise not to leave the porch, and she didn't. She trotted up the stairs and walked up behind her partner, who was seated on the floor near the back corner of the building with her long legs hanging down off the surface, and her arms resting on the wooden railing. Two colt foals were nibbling at her boots, and both looked up, and shook their small heads as she approached.

"Well.. hello there." The bard laughed, dropping down onto the wooden surface next to the warrior. "You gonna introduce me?"

"Sure." Xena held out a hand, and the closer one lipped her fingers agreeably. "Gabrielle, may I present Hercules and Iolaus." She gave the pair an amused glance. "Guys, this is Gabrielle."

The bard chuckled. "Which is which?"

One foal trotted towards her outstretched hand, and tripped, falling on its nose. "Ok… so that's Iolaus." Gabrielle announced immediately, which brought a smile to her soulmate's face. "Xena, they're adorable." She scratched little Iolaus' ears, and whickered gently to him under her breath. Both foals were sturdily built, and both were a rich buttery shade of yellow. Hercules mane and tail, however were dark brown, where Iolaus' were a pale blond like their mother's.

"Cute, huh?" Xena smiled. "Watch this." She clucked once, and both heads turned, then twice, and the approached her, bobbing their small heads.

Gabrielle's eyes popped. "Wow.. did you teach them that right now???" She turned and glanced behind her. "While I was gone?" Her eyes went back to her partner. "Xena.. I had no idea…"

The dark eyebrows rose. "How'd you figure Argo learned all that stuff?" The warrior asked, reasonably. "Doesn't come naturally."

"Well.. " The bard grinned tentatively. "I mean.. sure.. I realized you taught her, but…" She shook her head. "Yet another of the many skills." She held out the small basket she was holding. "From mom."

Mom, huh? Xena studied her partner's face intently. Not 'your mother', as it had been all during the trip up here. Gabrielle's face was much more relaxed and.. her nose twitched. Ah.. mom was using her ale to good purpose, I guess. "What's that?" She peeked inside the basket and smiled. "Oh.. I see." She lifted a cake out and took a bite. "Mmm."

"Yeah." Gabrielle agreed around a mouthful. She swallowed, then peered up at the taller woman. "How are you doing?"

Xena let the foals lick her fingers, and got an immediate and very attentive audience. Hercules managed to hop up on his hind legs, and put his forefeet up on the porch, shoving his nose through the railing and into Xena's chest. "Um… " Xena had to start laughing, as the colt pushed her and whickered. "Another fan, I guess." She broke off a tiny corner of the cake and offered it, watching in amusement as the foal lipped it off her palm and sneezed. Then she leaned her forehead against the railing and eyed her partner quietly. "I think the fever's gone.. " She took a reluctant breath. "I'm just really tired, for some reason."

And she was. Getting up and walking over to the railing had taken a frightening amount of effort. She felt like she was running on zero reserves, and, she realized, that's probably exactly what she was doing. "I feel like I could sleep for a week."

Gabrielle considered that. "Sounds like a good idea." She commented, slipping a supportive arm around the warrior's waist, and leaning close. She handed Xena another cake and took one herself, and they munched in companionable silence, tossing crumbs to the curious foals.

"So..you and mom have a talk?" Xena finally asked, resting her head against the arm she had laid across the railing.

The bard gave her a quick look. "How'd you guess?"

"You look a lot more relaxed." Came the wry answer. "Was I right?"

Gabrielle sighed, and kicked the porch edging with her heels. "Of course." She gave her partner a serious look. "Your mother is really special."

Xena grinned briefly. "Yeah." She licked her fingers thoughtfully, and gazed at the basket. "Any more of those?"

The bard studied her intently. "If they're making you feel better, you can have all of them."

An eyebrow lifted at this supreme sacrifice. "If I eat all of them, Gabrielle, I guarantee you I won't be feeling better." She told the bard dryly. "But.. I think they are helping." She shared the remainder of the cakes with her partner, as they moved back to the large chair lashed to the porch, large enough for both of them to relax in. The warm summer breeze gently washed over them, as they watched the sunset, and returned the casual greetings from homecoming villagers who were headed towards their dwellings beyond the inn. Several came over and spent a few moments talking to them, including Josclyn, who had just arrived in from the northern fields.

The reeve mounted the steps, and leaned against the rail, giving them both a sturdy nod. "Welcome back." He eyed Xena. "Tiny birdies flitting about tell me you bloodied that damn Roman's nose. True?"

Xena went absolutely blank for a long moment, before she realized what Josclyn was talking about. Caesar. " I just helped." She drawled. "Boudaecca takes the credit for winning that one."

The reeve nodded. "All right, if that's how you want to paint it." His eyes studied her with a wry twinkle. "Hello, lass.. welcome home." This was directed to Gabrielle, who was tucked snugly in the circle of Xena's arm. "We've missed yer tales."

The bard smiled gently at him. "Thanks Josclyn…it's nice to be home." She stifled a yawn, mostly caused by the drowsy heat. "Maybe I'll see you at the inn in a few days."

He nodded at her. "Aye." Then his eyes drifted outward, towards the paddock nearby. "Lovely little bits of horseflesh yer Argo's thrown there, Xena."

That got a smile from the warrior. "Yeah.. she's good stock." A note of pride touched Xena's voice. "They're going to be nice looking studs."

Josclyn rubbed his nose with his forefinger. "Ahh.. yes… I was thinking that." He paused. "Been a long while since Amphipolis was known for horseflesh."

The reeve was, Xena reminded herself, responsible for the financial well being of the village, and he'd brought up an interesting point she hadn't so far considered. "Yeah.. it has, hasn't it?" She replied slowly.

They looked at each other, and a tiny nod passed. Then Josclyn gave them a wave, and went on towards his homestead, with his patient, long stride.

Gabrielle glanced up at her curiously. "What was that all about?"

"Josc has a really nice filly, about two years old." Xena replied, giving her a wry look. "She's gray, with a dark gray mane and tale.. nice action." Very nice. Not trained like Argo, and much smaller than the tall warhorse, but a beautiful animal. "Looking to the future, I guess."

The bard considered this thoughtfully. "Hmm."

Xena sat back, and enjoyed the peacefulness. She could feel the flutter of Gabrielle's pulse against the skin of her arm, and was relieved to note that the exhaustion seemed to be backing off a little, and despite the cakes, she was still hungry. Good sign… she mused, studying the bard's profile. So, while I'm at it…."Hey.. listen.. I'm feeling better.. I'd really like to go on up to the inn for dinner.. just to say hello to everyone.. what do you think?" Nope.. she didn't miss the sudden jump in the bard's heartbeat, and the sparkle that appeared in her green eyes. Target hit. She needs this.. and I'm not gonna say no to her.

"I'd…. if you're sure, Xena." The bard replied slowly. "I mean.. yeah, it would be nice, but not if it's gonna tire you out or anything."

"Nah." The warrior grinned. "I'll be fine." If I have to drag myself there by the fingernails. "C'mon."

The inn was filling up, now that the sun was setting, and the tradesmen and more affluent homesteaders came filing in to settle down for a drink and a plate of food, and the companionship of the village. Most of the tables were occupied, and several heads lifted as Xena pushed the door open and allowed Gabrielle to enter in front of her.

Greetings drifted across most of the room, lit now by candles on the tables, and the torches that rested in two wall sconces near the entryway to the kitchen. It was warm, relieved only by the breezes that traveled in through the windows, and which fluttered the candle flames into dancing columns, and the air was filled with the scent of roasting meat, and the tangy hint of newly tapped ale.

Xena returned her usual nods, and silent acknowledgements, but paid little attention to them as she watched the reception her soulmate was getting.

It was simple. They loved her. She'd captured their hearts over the winter, and now smiling faces and welcoming arms greeted her from all sides. Xena felt a deep warmth starting in her own gut as she watched the gentle sparkle return to her partner's eyes, as she paused frequently to grasp an outstretched hand, or answer a warm hello.

She needs this. Xena's mind acknowledged, as she observed the bard's shoulders straighten and lift, and her body language grow shyly animated as they got across the room. Look at her soaking it up… damn. It brought a smile to her face, which broadened as Gabrielle's voice lifted in gaining confidence across the crowd.

She settled into a chair at the table their family usually used, and leaned back, bracing one booted foot against the table support, and crossing her arms. Gabrielle was still standing, leaning over to answer a question from the millman's wife, and laughing gently as the woman scolded her about her thinness. "I know.. I know… but now that I'm here, I know that won't be a problem." The bard assured her, as she dropped into the chair next to her partner, and took a deep breath. Her eyes found Xena's, and she gave her a little shake of the head. "Wow."

The warrior just smiled. There was a flush of color in her partner's face, and a warm glow to her eyes that was absolutely priceless to her. "Looks like they missed ya." She gave Gabrielle a rakish grin.

Gabrielle took a breath, then a second. She reached a hand across the tabletop and twined her fingers with the warrior's longer ones. "You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?" She accused gently.

Xena rocked her head from side to side and gave a little shrug. "I suspected it would, yeah." She glanced around, then back at Gabrielle. "I'm glad Amphipolis lived up to my expectations."

The bard just stared at her for a long minute, then abruptly got up out of her chair, and flung herself at her partner, wrapping her arms around the warrior's neck, and hugging her hard. "I love you." She said in a heartfelt whisper.

Xena felt a blush rising, as the room looked on with a round of warm laughter. She spotted Cyrene as the innkeeper stepped out to see what the noise was, and let a crooked grin cross her face when her mother spotted them, and shook her head. "Gabrielle.. I didn't do anything.. c'mon now.. that's all just for you."

 The bard released her, and leaned back, so they could look at each other. "Sorry… " She lifted a hand and gently traced the line of color on her partner's cheekbone. "Didn't meant to embarrass you." She looked up as Cyrene arrived at their tableside, and scrambled off Xena's lap, thumping down into her own seat with a sheepish look. "I um.... I seem to be making a spectacle of myself this evening."

Cyrene sat down across from them, and wiped a relieved grin off her face. "Oh, that’s' all right, honey." She waved Johan over to join them. "Thanks for dragging the social butterfly here over with you." This with a nod towards her dark haired daughter, who elevated an eyebrow at her. "Don't give me that look."

"Actually." Gabrielle held up a hand. "It was her idea."

Xena just leaned back and watched them, enjoying the banter but keeping her usual non-committal look on. She felt a nudge under the table, and her brow creased. Another nudge, and she realized something soft, and warm was being pressed into her hand, which was resting against her knee. She folded her fingers around it, and felt her expression go completely blank for a long moment, before she looked up, and met her mother's eyes.

Gentle understanding, and a brief smile met her gaze, as she let her fingers explore the small package her mother had given her. A tiny cloth bag, with two round, metal objects in it. She knew what they were, and now, she was glad she'd given them to Cyrene for safekeeping.

Would Gabrielle want hers back? Xena felt the familiar weight of the pendant hanging from her neck and it reassured her. She glanced up and gave her mother a smile, and a slight nod, before she tucked the bag away in her belt pouch. Later. Not here, in front of the entire village.. just in case I'm wrong. But she didn't think she was, not now, not with the quietly familiar touch that curled itself around her knee, something that Gabrielle didn't even appear to be aware she was doing. The bard's fingers traced the curve of her skin, and she felt them slide up her thigh in an absent caress.

The room, Xena observed, glancing around and settling back to catch a breeze, was sure getting overcrowded…not to mention warm. Then the bard's hand moved again, and she admitted that the crowd was probably not causing the overheating. With a bemused grin, she leaned back and took a long swallow of ale.

Servers brought dinner, and they dug into steaming platefuls, as they traded information about the past few months. Gabrielle gave them a censored rundown of their adventures, which they'd collaborated on before they reached the inn. She left out really tough parts, but did let them know about some of the milder adventures they'd had, including the one with the virgins, which had Cyrene howling.

By common, unspoken consent, they kept the conversation light, and edged around painful topics, and managed to have a nice, almost relaxing evening, despite the fact that Gabrielle suddenly realized all the bright eyes being turned on her, and allowed herself to be dragged up front for a short story.

What to tell them… The bard chewed over that. Something light… something short.. She took a breath, and looked out at the room, seeing faces she'd come to know over the long winter months, and felt a nervous jolt, realizing suddenly that this was very different than getting up in front of relative strangers. These people knew her.. most of them had an idea of what had happened to her, and to her partner sitting quietly there in the back.. it was shaking her up.

She felt her mind go blank, and felt her stomach drop.. and then a pair of pale, clear blue eyes caught hers, and she saw the confident grin on Xena's face, which steadied her. I can do this. She quietly told herself. Her brow creased, then she held up a hand and told them the one about Hercules and the pig that had them rolling on the floor, the delighted laughter flowing through her and reestablishing her confidence with gentle ease.

She let her eyes drift back to her partner's, seeing the warm pride there, as she finished the story, and accepted the enthusiastic applause with a shy grin, then excused herself. "Hey.. " She protested when that was met with a chorus of groans. "It's been a long day.. more tomorrow."

She made her way back, and studied her partner, half buried in shadows against the wall. "I'm beat." She half fell, half dropped into her chair, picking up her glass and draining it, then setting it down. "You'd think I got enough sleep today, but I guess not." She stifled a yawn, and glanced covertly at Xena. The warrior was putting up a very good front, but Gabrielle knew every line of her body, and to the bard, her partner's tense weariness was painfully evident.

"Bedtime for bards?" Xena inquired, glad the darkness was hiding her own exhaustion. "Sounds like a good idea." She stood carefully, and put a hand on her mother's shoulder. "Night.. thanks for the company."

Those sharp eyes didn't miss a thing. "Get some rest, Xena." Cyrene replied quietly. "All right?"

A wry grin tugged at the warrior's lips. "Right." She felt Gabrielle's hand tuck itself securely around her elbow as the bard guided her through the inn, and out the door into the warm summer night. Guess I didn't fool her either.. she mused a touch ruefully, but decided that wasn't really a bad thing.

"Enjoy yourself?" Xena ventured, as they walked across the hard packed ground.

"You have to ask?" The bard laughed softly. "Xena.. I didn't expect it to be like that." The bard sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "But.. yeah…it made me feel really good." She admitted, with a wry grin.

Xena felt a quiet satisfaction. "Me too." She put her arm around Gabrielle's shoulders. "That pig story was funny too… I hadn't heard it before."

That got a wistful smile from her smaller companion. "I.. got that from Iolaus last time we met… but I never had a chance to…I mean…I guess I stopped wanting to tell them." Gabrielle closed her eyes as she felt the gentle pressure of lips against her hair. "Yeah." She breathed softly. "All those friendly faces... that.. I really, really enjoyed that."

"Good." The warrior murmured, as they reached the cabin, and she managed to muster the energy to walk up the steps and pull the door open. "Whoa…" She braced herself as Ares hurtled through the air, and pounded his paws up against her chest. "Ares… c'mon… " The wolf licked her face enthusiastically, then turned his attention to Gabrielle.

"Yeah.. yeah.. I see who you go to first." The bard tugged an ear. "We all know who your favorite is."

"Only because I give him goodies." Xena mumbled, as she landed on her back with atypical gracelessness on the bed. The wolf jumped up next to her, and curled against her body, resting his muzzle on her knee, and letting out a satisfied sigh.

"Oh. Sure." Gabrielle bit back a laugh. "Look at him…he's so mercenary." She watched the wolf shift his head to a more comfortable spot and close his eyes happily, then she tugged off her boots, and walked to the bed, studying the prone warrior seriously.

"Hey." She watched the blue eyes blink open with some effort. " Here, let me get these off for you." Her fingers tugged gently at the laces on Xena's boots, and she gave the powerful legs a pat as she pulled the footware off. "You know, Xena.. I could be mad at you for forcing yourself to go through dinner and all that tonight, if you felt lousy."

One blue eye opened, and regarded her wistfully. "Don't be." She pleaded gently. "It was worth it… seeing your face." The warrior struggled up onto her elbows, and forced the unnerving exhaustion down. "I don’t feel that bad, really.. just a little tired."

Gabrielle climbed into bed, and rolled over onto her side, tugging the light cover over them, and putting a hand on Xena's shoulder. "What am I going to do with you?" She asked with a faint sigh, as she pushed her back down, and put a hand on her forehead, relieved at the coolness.

"Anything you want." Came the sleepy answer.

"Anything?" Gabrielle leaned close, and breathed in her ear.

Xena nodded, a faint smile crossing her face.

The bard traced an idle pattern across her partner's collarbone. "All right…then I want.. to spend the rest of my life with you."

The warrior opened both eyes, and studied her seriously. "Really?"

Gabrielle stared back, just as seriously. "Yeah." She laid a hand on Xena's chest. "I mean… " She stopped and collected her thoughts for a moment. "It sounds so strange to say that.. like.. well, of course, right?" Her fingers played idly with the belt on the warrior's tunic. "But I never thought about actually making that decision before.. I always took it for granted. And.. and tonight, during that story, I kind of looked up, and saw you watching me… " Another breath. "And I realized I never, ever wanted to be able to look up and not find you there looking back at me."

A quiet nod. "Guess you'll be needing this back, then," Xena slipped a circle of metal into the bard's hand, and closed her fingers over it. And then she just waited, her heart pounding so hard she was surprised Gabrielle didn't hear it. She hadn't meant to do that tonight… but she figured it would be better… to know. She couldn’t help herself.. she needed to know.. to see.. if Gabrielle would accept back that facet of their lives.

Gabrielle's eyes closed, and she let her head slip forward to rest on her partner's chest, not looking at what her hand held.

Knowing it by touch alone.

Remembering the aching moment when she'd given it back, there on that ship coming back from China. When she'd told Xena she no longer thought she deserved to wear it, and had watched the warrior take it in her hand, and walk to the very bow of the ship, standing there, letting the wind whip her dark hair back for what seemed like forever.

Xena had never said anything to her about it. Had never worn hers after that night. Gabrielle had suspected she'd thrown them overboard, and let the sea claim them.

She should have known better. Xena would never have surrendered those, at least, to Poseidon.

"Thank you." Gabrielle muttered quietly, still hiding her face in dark blue linen. She felt the heave as Xena took a deep breath, and heard her pounding heart begin to slow. "You… don't know how much I regretted doing that." She let herself collapse on top of her soulmate's body, and felt the strong arms close over her. "How many times I.. oh gods, Xena…I'm so sorry."

"It's all right." Xena replied in an almost whisper. "I'm sorry too." She pulled the bard's head closer and kissed it. "We should have talked more… I can't believe I let things go so far… and I just couldn’t.. speak to you about any of it."

Gabrielle let her body slide down, and moved into her favorite spot with a sense of wonderful relief. She slipped the ring onto her finger, and closed her hand into a gentle fist, letting her thumb move against the metal band. "Do.. you.. " A doubt assailed her.. would Xena have kept hers? Then she remembered the tiny, folded pieces of parchment her soulmate had kept tucked away. "Still have yours?"

For an answer, Xena flexed her hand in front of the bard's eyes. Gabrielle reached up and captured it, then brought the warm skin to her lips and held on. "Everything means so much more, now." She observed softly. "Even little things."

"Mmm." Xena murmured. "You're right." Curiously, her fatigue faded a little. "I think the little things hurt the worst.. you don't realize they're there.. until they're gone."

The bard rested her face against the warm surface of Xena's chest. "I know.. like you letting me fuss over you."

"Like you smiling at me." Xena answered, in a small voice.

Gabrielle lifted her head up, and looked at her soulmate, at the shadows of remembered pain in her half closed eyes. "It hurt so much because of how strong what we have is, Xena.. am I right?"

The warrior nodded gently. "Yeah… and I'm glad it's that strong." She half lifted her body up and gently kissed her partner.

The bard tasted the lingering hint of the honey cakes, and the cider she'd been drinking, and without really thinking about it she responded, curling herself up and winding a hand around Xena's neck, feeling the soft silkiness of the warrior's dark hair against her skin. "Mm." She tried to control her body's reaction, reminding herself of her partner's illness, but it didn't seem to be working as her hands slid delicately over the fabric covered surface, and found their way underneath it to the warm flesh.

With a light groan, she broke off, and took a deep breath to settle her ragged breathing. "Um… "

Xena's fingers traced her cheek, and drew her face back down, and she felt the warrior's arms circle her, and draw her closer, so that their bodies were in contact all along their length. It was a warm, deep explosion of sensation, and she was only barely aware of her conscience making a gentle, futile protest, helpless against the sensual tingle that followed Xena's touch as it slowly moved up the surface of her skin. "Thought… you were sick…" She managed to gasp.

The warrior tempered her response, and gazed at the bard with a wistfully regretful look. "I feel a lot better all of sudden?" It was almost true too.. the nagging exhaustion was warring a fierce battle with a surge of desire. She was giving it even odds as to which one would come out on top, and looking at the smoky dark green eyes so close to hers was tipping the odds rapidly.

Gabrielle knew she should put a hold on this, but that touch was still stroking her skin gently, and she realized that she wanted this, wanted the fierce passion that she could feel between them to take over, and wash the dirty, horrible memories out of her mind, and out of her heart. She leaned into Xena's touch, letting her hands work the buckle on the warrior's belt, and saw the sensual smile take over her partner's face at the touch. "You…promise me…" She gave in and let her lips nibble the warrior's collarbone. "You tell me if it gets too much, Xena."

Xena reveled in the firestorm of sensation the bard's touch was bringing on. She bit down lightly on the nearby ear lobe, and breathed an answer. "Sorry.. can't promise that." She let her voice drop to its lowest, growliest register, and heard Gabrielle's sharp intake of air. "But you tell me if it gets too much for you, my bard… all right?"

Gabrielle felt her control slipping, and she let it, trusting in their bond to make things right. "Can't promise that either." Were her last words, before her body's cravings took her over completely.

It was as though it was the very first time, all over again… with Xena being so gentle, and so patient with her, not pushing, not asking… just letting her knowledge of Gabrielle's body take her rapidly past any thoughts, or fears. She opened her heart to it, feeling the power building between them that grabbed all her memories of Dahok, and shredded them, driving them out of her life, and her mind, and her reality.

She wasn't sure how her shirt somehow disappeared, but then she realized Xena's had also, and they were sliding against each other, skin on skin as her body remembered just how much it loved her soulmate's gentle touch. She was a little nervous, still aware of the haunting flames which had destroyed her sleep for months, and still would be except that Xena's secure hold kept them at bay at night. But those memories were receding, pushed back by the feel of Xena's fingertips moving up her belly, and tracing light patterns across her breasts.

Xena moved carefully, cautiously, letting her senses extend to capture the bard's heartbeat, and her breathing, almost holding her breath as she allowed her hands and lips to reclaim her partner's most sensitive places. She ran a hand lightly across the bard's bare hip, and let her fingers follow the curve of her strong thigh muscles, feeling the sensual shift as Gabrielle's body pressed against hers. She felt the bard's chest heave, as she let out a tiny sound, and she immediately raised a hand and cupped the flushed cheek. "Hey… you ok?"

"Y… yeah.." Gabrielle blinked her eyes open, and tried to catch her breath. "Just.. feels so good."

The warrior smiled gently and kissed her, and watched the tremulous smile spread across her partner's face. She worked her attentions down Gabrielle's jawline, feeling the motion as the bard swallowed and nipped the sensitive skin over her pulse point, which fluttered wildly against her lips. It felt so good to do this… something she'd missed more than she could have ever believed during the long months of their estrangement. Something far more than the physical release..that could be found with anyone, as she'd once told Gabrielle. Without the feeling behind it, the act meant… nothing. With it, even the simplest touch gathered in your soul, and having known that… having felt the honest, heartfelt passion that had characterized their every touch..

To lose that.. gods. And now, as she gently, cautiously began to work her way down the bard's body, stopping in familiar spots to nibble lightly, and feeling Gabrielle's knowing touch in return…it was so sweet. She reached the bard's navel, and nipped teasingly around the sensitive area, feeling the muscles contract sharply under the skin, and felt Gabrielle's warm touch slide through her hair and across her shoulders.

Gabrielle let her body curl around her soulmate's, burying her face in the long dark hair and breathing in it's scent, letting her doubts go as she concentrated on the tingling fire that Xena was teasing out of her, and feeling that dark pit in her mind scrambling to keep it's terror, desperate in its hold on her, but helpless against the love, and the trust she found herself willing to offer up again to the warrior.

And so she did, and as the sensations built, she deliberately called up the memories of the temple, and the fire, and let them go, watching them shred, and dissolve under the renewal of this most intimate of connections. She let her own instincts loose, and felt a gentle, profound joy soak into her as she traced sensual patterns over tanned skin that tensed in knowing reaction, then she shivered, as a warm stream of breathing raised goosebumps down the centerline of her belly.

Her heart started pounding, and a wave of shivering sensations coursed over her, as she gave up all control into her partner's skillful hands and let Xena claim her in a fierce explosion of passion.

Finally, she was aware of the faint breeze tickling her across her bare shoulders, as she lay there unable to move, her body shaking in time with her breathing, only conscious of Xena's scent, and the soft feathery touches against the skin of her back, and the racing heartbeat under her ear.

She was free. She could feel the anguish, and the pain slowly shifting, and modifying.. becoming something she would always remember, but which no longer crouched over her in malevolent, haunting shadows. Dahok had hurt her.. had used her in an evil intent that had shredded large parts of her.. but there was a core he couldn’t touch.. a part of her that was locked away so tightly that even his murderous force couldn’t penetrate it.

Only Xena had the key to that. And if the warrior had chosen not to remove the walls she'd built up again around her own heart, then that part of her would have been lost, and she knew it.

"You all right?" Xena's voice rumbled down her hearing, both verbally and through the vibrations that sent odd tickles up and down Gabrielle's senses.

Somehow, she dredged up the strength to lift her head, and rolled it to one side, studying the dark profile through half closed eyes. "Um… I'm perfect, thanks." She rubbed her cheek lightly against Xena's skin, and nodded approvingly as the heartbeat under her ear slowed and steadied. "How bout you?" Xena's breathing was still rough, and she freed one hand from it's grip on the warrior's body and started a gentle tracing across the erratically heaving surface, and smiled as the rhythm eased almost at once.

"Mm.' Xena's eyes closed. "Great." Then she forced her eyes open again. "You… um.. " The warrior peered at her uncertainly. "Everything ok up here?" Her fingers very gently pushed the sweat dampened hair off the bard's forehead, and stopped, as tears trickled down the smaller woman's cheeks. "Gab?"

"Do you know…" Gabrielle's voice shook. "I had to stop and think about what you meant just then?" She placed soft kisses on the skin within her reach, and let out a long, relieved sigh in all that friendly warmth. "Everything is very much ok."

That got her a real smile from Xena, tired, but genuine, and the warrior tugged the light linen cover up over her bare shoulders, and tucked it around their intertwined bodies. "I'm glad." She replied simply, letting the exhaustion overtake her at last. "Love you."

Gabrielle gazed up, blinking through the tears. "I love you too." She put her head back down, and closed her eyes, tumbling into sleep with a relieved smile.

A light rain was falling, dampening the edged of the wooden porch and obscuring the fitful sunlight that occasionally sent a timid beam groundward, glancing off the leaves and throwing the odd splash of gray light on the parchment laid over Gabrielle's lap. The bard was sitting, or rather, sprawling on one of the large chairs, one leg thrown over the arm of it, and her head resting against the back. A quill was being twirled in her fingers as she reread her diary entry, and contemplated adding to it.

We've been here two days. I thought it would take longer, but I'm already feeling a lot better. A lot better.. gods.. I feel like a totally different person. Or maybe I just feel more like I used to… yeah.. I've fallen back into the regular routine around here pretty easily, and I think it's made a real difference in how I feel, and how I see myself.

Last night didn't hurt. Wow. I don't know what it is about Xena.. ok, well, maybe I do, but… anyway, she can make me feel like I've turned myself inside out.. just with a look. Hey.. here I'm just thinking about it, and my throat went dry. It's weird… but it's like my body is so tuned into her that I … Whoa. I gotta stop that. But I can't help it - it feels so damn good when she touches me.. or hugs me.. and that's happening all the time now again.

Whew. Calm down, Gabrielle.

She's had me a little worried.. but she seemed better this morning, more like herself. I think it all kind of just caught up to her, because the healer here says she seems ok. He checked her out this morning at mom's insistence, I think that pissed her off, though. Xena, I mean. I kinda had to remind mom to back off a little.. cause if you make too big a fuss, she'll start covering up when she's not feeling well, just to avoid all the poking and prodding. She kind of chewed her lip at me, then admitted she'd forgotten about that, and just kind of left Xena alone after that.

But, of course, being my Xena, she had to prove she was fine by volunteering for the blueberry picking detail that went out this morning. I was going to go too, but Josclyn had two deeds he needed transcribing, and he asked me to help. I hope she doesn't over do it.. she seemed ok this morning, but then… we were both ok this morning.

Boy were we ever. I actually got away with bringing her breakfast in bed, and we spent forever just being with each other, and talking... she even made a joke.

She gave me the ring back last night. I spent a long time just sitting out here on the porch looking at it after breakfast. It's really pretty.. the hawk's crest and all, and the engraving. And the inside, where she had our names carved in, and the date of our joining here. It's so beautiful, and it means so much to me, I can't believe I'm holding it here in my hand. And it was so.. Xena… no fuss, no speeches, just 'there you go.', and that was it. I know it hurt her when I gave it back, as much, or more than it hurt me, but she keeps that all inside.

I worry about that sometimes… because when she finally does let that out, like in that little cave where Solon was born, it gets really, really intense. I don't think I'm going to change her, though, I'll just try to be there for her.

Like she was there for me last night… I know she was way overtired, but she just stuffed that down, like she always does, and came through for me. Like she always does. She made me feel so special…I was still smiling when I woke up.

The sound of running footsteps caught her ear, and she glanced up, to see one of the village boys pelting down the road and into the central area. He saw her, and veered. "W.. we need help… a stretcher. "

Gabrielle forced herself to breathe. "What happened?"

"Raiders." He yelled, as he kept on going.

The morning air, thick with moisture, seemed to settle around her, but Xena blithely ignored it, reaching up to snag yet another tangle of blackberries and strip the plump fruits from the branches, deftly avoiding the thorns as she deposited them in the basket slung over one shoulder.

Glancing around surreptitiously, she popped one in her mouth, and chewed it, enjoying the burst of sweet juice with guilty pleasure. It wasn't her first sneak, and, she cheerfully admitted to herself, wouldn't be her last, since the berries were very plentiful and too good to pass up.

The sun warmed her shoulders, and she glanced up, seeing it's peeking face flitting through the clouds. A bird landed nearby, and she let her eyes linger on it, unable to dispel the warm, gentle sense of almost giddy pleasure that had been snuggling into her consciousness all day.

Waking up that morning had been fantastic She let a grin tug her lips, and stole another berry, chewing it as she closed her eyes, and remembered the wonderful moment of drifting into awareness, with Gabrielle's solid, bare weight spreading all over her in utter abandon. The bard had woken up a few minutes later, and blinked at her, then sighed in contentment and snuggled closer, sending pleasant jolts up and down her body.

A barrier had definitely come down between them. She'd never felt so open.. so vulnerable.. So absolutely fantastic.

And even though she assured her partner of that very fact, Gabrielle had insisted on her staying put and had trotted over to the inn bringing back a loaded basket of various little baked things and fruits, which she'd curled back up into her arms and split between them, alternating bites with kisses until they were both very full, and pleasantly involved in each other.

It had brought back so many memories.. Xena sighed, and forced her attention back to the berries, trying to ignore the twinkling sideways looks she kept getting from her berry hunting companions. Probably think I lost it. The warrior ruefully concluded, as she hopped up onto a rock and captured a large clump.

She was, however, glad to see her body seemed to be grudgingly cooperating more today While the nagging fatigue was still there, it was more in the background, and she wasn't nearly as tired as she had been the previous day. Wonder what the Hades is up with that? She mused with a sigh. Must have been leftover from that damn fever.. But sleep, and being home seemed to be doing her some good, and as for her partner….

Xena smiled quietly. She'd watched Gabrielle roam around the cabin after their leisurely breakfast, and gently touch the various and scattered things around the room, enjoying the smile that was etching the bard's face. She already looked much better, the warrior reflected. The dark shadows under her eyes had faded, and the sparkle was returning to them, and even the way she moved seemed… different. More confident, definitely more comfortable.

A tug on her tunic broke her out of her daydreaming, and she glanced down, a little startled.

"Hey." A small, tow headed boy tugged again. He was the son of one of the women who was collecting berries, whose husband ran the weaver's shop in town.

"Yeah?" Xena replied, consciously gentling her voice.

The boy pointed up. "Too tall." He scowled at the thick clump of berries over his head.

The warrior regarded the berries, then regarded the boy, aware of his mother's furtively watching eyes. "Turn around."

A lip poked out. "Howcum?"

Xena raised an eyebrow at him. "Cause I said so."

The brown eyes judged her, then the boy scowled again. "OK." He turned around, with a little stomping motion.

Xena felt a wistful pang as she gently lifted him up and put him on her shoulders, hearing the delighted laugh as the boy reached up and gave the branch a good shake. Images of Solon stung her, but she just swallowed, and kept a careful grip on the squirming legs as berries tumbled down around them. "Hey… " She managed to choke out. "Get some of those in the bag, ok?"

"Mama..look!" The high, child's voice ripped a hole inside her, but she quietly put that away. The boy vigorously attacked the bush, managing to capture most of the fruits in his bag. "Mmm.." He stuffed a few inside his mouth, and munched, letting juices run down his chin with a giggle. "Want some?" He boldly offered a large specimen to Xena, who accepted it solemnly. "Ok… all done… give me a ride?"

Xena, Warrior Pony. It was a half sad, half self deprecating thought. "Sure." She obligingly loped over to where the boys' mother was wiping her brow, and lifted him off, letting him bounce down next to the sweating woman. "There you go."

The woman tousled her son's hair, and glanced shyly up at the tall warrior. "Thanks, Xena.. he'll be talking about that for a month." She paused, and put a hesitant hand out, touching Xena's arm. "We heard… I'm so sorry."

It took a long moment for the lump to go down enough for her to speak. "Thanks…" The warrior took a breath. "I appreciate that."

A second, older woman sidled near, giving Xena a quietly sympathetic look. "If.. there's anything we can do, Xena.. if you need to talk to someone, we're here for you."

It was so unexpected, she had to stop for a long moment, just to come up with some kind of response. It touched her, knocking something open that went very deep, bridging the huge gap she'd always felt between herself, and the people of her home town. "I… um.. thank you. I really.. " She hesitated, feeling their eyes on her. "I appreciate that… a lot."

The elder woman moved closer, and opened her mouth to speak, then paused, as she saw Xena's body stiffen.

Hoofbeats. Xena's ears picked them up moments after she felt the vibration through her booted feet. She turned and scanned the area, cursing the chest high grasses that obscured her view. "Someone's coming." She advised them tersely. "Riders."

Nervous glances were exchanged, and two women grabbed the arms of the four or five children that were with them, pulling them deeper into the brush as the sounds of horses became audible to them as well.

The grasses whipped out of the way, and six horsemen pulled up abruptly on spotting them, their eyes greedily sucking in the sight. "Oh ho… what have we here?" The man in the lead showed a gap toothed grin. "Ooo.. I see some sweet fruits, boys." He licked his lips, and shifted in his saddle, urging his horse ahead. Then pulling up a little as one of the villagers stepped out of the group, and put herself squarely in his path.

Tall. His eyes flicked over her. Midnight dark hair, and ice blue eyes… definitely a looker. He grinned in admiration. But her garb was the same as the rest of them, and she carried a basket on her shoulder full of berries.. just another target.. "Hello, pretty lady." He let his eyes travel up and down her lithe form.

One brow lifted, and the woman put her hands on her hips. "You want something?"

"Oh yeah.. " He nudged his horse forward, until he was within reach of her. "Trade you a goooood time for some of them berries.. how about it?"

The woman smiled, showing very white teeth against her tanned skin. "How about you get out of here, and I won't break your legs?" She replied, almost conversationally. "Sound like a good deal?"

He laughed, and turned to his fellows. "C'mon.. let's party." He then whipped his body around, and kicked his mount forward, lifting a short club from his saddlebow and aiming a blow for her head.

I'm really not up to this. Xena sighed inwardly, as she dropped her bag and felt her body crouch, waiting for him to come close enough for her to grab him. She dodged his awkward swing, and latched onto his arm, letting the horse run by her and pulling hard, jerking him off the animal's back and letting go as he hit the ground. Then she turned and ducked under the sword thrust by one of his companions, and slugged the rider, catching him in the kidneys and keeling him over in his saddle, then giving the horse a smack that sent it running off.

A third came at her, and she moved out of the way, kicking back and nailing her first opponent in the chin and snapping his head to one side sharply. She dodged the third rider again, then froze, as she saw the small, determined figure running towards them, with a wild eyed woman chasing after him. Damn. She glanced over, and took two long steps, launching her body skyward and slamming right into the third rider, taking them both off the horse's back and down to the ground where she hit with a bone rattling crunch.

Then she was up, and had the boy in her arms, and was pulling him out of the way of the fourth and fifth riders, who thundered over her tucked body, their horse's hooves missing her by some miracle. She straightened up, and tossed the boy gently into a nearby stand of grass. "Stay there." She ordered, turning and bolting back, in time to grab the fifth rider's leather vest, and jerk him down off his horse, slamming an elbow into his jaw and feeling him go slack in her arms. She dropped him to the ground, and yelled a warning, but the running woman couldn’t stop in time, and the fourth rider crashed right into her, tossing her body against a nearby tree.

Xena cursed, and stooped to lift a rock up, whipping her arm sideways and nailing them man's head, causing him to slump in the saddle. His horse spooked, and took off, thrashing through the grasses and disappearing into the distance. She watched him go, then turned slowly in a circle, sensing the danger gone. The riders either had run off, or were huddled motionlessly in the grass, and she let a long, shaky breath out before she strode over to where the woman was lying, her head supported by the shaking elder.

The woman looked up as Xena approached, and swallowed. "Her leg."

The warrior looked down and winced. The woman's leg was badly broken, the lower part at almost right angle. "All right." She glanced up, and found a circle of horrified eyes watching her. "You." She singled out an older boy. "Get back to the village.. we'll need a stretcher to bring her back. Run."

He did, bolting off through the grasses towards the road. Xena let out a long breath, and looked at the injured woman, who was biting her fist to keep from screaming with the pain. "Hang on." The warrior said, in a low, calm voice, and hit two pressure points, watching the rigid body relax as the leg lost it's feeling. "All right… you, hang on to her arm." She directed the older woman. "And you, hold on to that arm, and brace yourselves."

They did as she asked, wrapping arms around the woman and staring at her in tense silence.

Xena nodded, then very gently closed her hands around the woman's leg, and braced a booted foot against a tree root, as she slowly, and steadily pulled the limb straight, and felt the faint grinding click as the bones aligned. A sigh of relief went around the circle of watchers, and two women sidled forward with already trimmed branches and knelt, offering them to her.

"Good choice." She inspected the limbs, and laid them alongside the injured leg, then glanced down, and unbuckled her tunic belt, using it to secure one end of the makeshift splint. A hand dropped to her arm, and she looked up, to see the boy's mother, handing her a piece of rope she'd used to support her basket. "Thanks." The warrior smiled at her, then tightly fixed the upper portion of the splint.

"OK." She got the injured woman's attention. "Listen…I gotta release that block.. and it's gonna hurt.. but not as bad as before, ok?"

The woman's eyes blanched, and she raised a fist to her mouth again, biting down on a knuckle before she gave Xena one, short nod. The warrior gave her uninjured leg a soft pat before she released the pressure point, watching the woman's body tense, then very slowly, relax as the pain leveled off. "OK?" Xena asked gently.

The pale head slowly nodded, and she reached a shaking hand out, to grasp Xena's and squeeze it. "Thanks." She whispered hoarsely. "The baby.. he ran… where is he?"

"Here, Hanna." The boy's mother came close, holding her dirt covered offspring. "He was a bad boy, and I'm so sorry." She gave her son a stern look. "Rivas, you apologize… look what happened."

A tiny lip poked out. "Sorry."

Xena braced her arm against her knee, and studied the boy. "When they tell you to stay put, you should." She told him, giving him one of her more serious looks.

The lip poked out further. "Wanted ta help you." He reached out and tugged a lock of her dark hair. "Bang them guys." He waved a small fist. "Boom boom!"

The warrior struggled to keep a wry grin off her face. "Not until you're lots older, buster." She growled. "I can handle them just fine by myself." She exchanged a look with his mother, and shook her head, firmly closing the door on the might have beens that hammered at her. Running footsteps brought her head up, and she turned as a familiar presence made itself known.

A hand touched her shoulder. "Hey… " Gabrielle dropped to a knee beside her partner. "What happened?" The bard's breathing was strained, and she was sweating.

Xena put a hand on her back, and rubbed it. "Take it easy.." She said in a low voice. "Some scum out looking for trouble." She added, in a louder tone, jerking her chin towards the still slumped forms.

The bard took a deep breath, and raked a hand through her hair, pushing it back. "I see they found it." She gazed at her partner. "You all right?"

"Just fine." Xena replied evenly. "They got help coming?"

"Yeah… " Gabrielle craned her neck, resting a hand lightly on her partner's shoulder for balance. "Should be right behind me… " She paused. "Though.. I did kinda rush up here." She took a deep breath, and let it out. "Whew."

Xena smiled, and patted her side. "So I see." She turned to the injured woman. "You're gonna be ok." She looked up as the grasses parted again, and four villagers broke through, carrying a litter. "Over here." She stood up, and backed off as the four men rushed over, asking blurted questions, which the elder woman fielded impatiently. Gabrielle stepped back with her, and stood at her side, watching quietly as they carefully moved the woman onto the litter, and lifted her up.

The small group headed back, the litter going first, surrounded by chattering women, leaving Xena and Gabrielle to bring up the rear.

Xena picked up her berry basket and slung it over her shoulder, before joining the bard, letting her arm rest casually across the smaller woman's shoulders. "How'd the transcribing go?"

Gabrielle wound an arm firmly around the warrior's waist, as she felt the faint unsteadiness in her walk. She gave Xena a look, and was not surprised when the taller woman dropped her gaze, and leaned a little bit against her. "Just fine, huh?" She accused gently, shaking her head. "What am I going to do with you?"

Xena sighed, and kicked at a rock in her path. "Thought I answered that last night." She grumbled, sneaking a look and catching the swiftly dampened grin on the bard's face. "I'm fine… really… a lot better than yesterday.. and I did just beat up a half dozen guys.. cut me a little slack, huh?"

"Weeeelll…." The bard pretended to consider that. "I guess." She went along in silence for a time, listening to the lazy bird calls and the swish of the grass, and watching Xena out of the corner of her eye. Finally, she took a breath. "You want to talk about it?"

Long silence, as they matched paces along the path. "You always know, don't you?" Xena finally said, in a quiet, serious tone.

"Always." The bard answered, just as seriously. "Was it the fight?"

A shake of her dark head. "No… that went fine.. or, well.. as fine as it ever does." She lifted her free hand and let it fall. "I just…that little kid.. he…" She let out a long breath. "No sense in thinking about it."

Solon. Gabrielle realized, looking ahead and spotting the child, who was letting his head rest on his mother's shoulder, and keeping his eyes pinned on her partner. Oh. Her lips tightened. "Xena… "

"It's… you know, I never let myself think of what he must have been like.. at that age… I don't know why… " Xena just sighed. "It's not like I ever really knew him at all." She looked down unhappily at her partner's still face. "I.. I'm sorry, Gabrielle.. it's not fair of me to even say that to you." She hesitated. "Is it?"

The bard felt a knot unravel inside her chest at the words. "Xena… thank you for realizing that." She drew in a careful breath. "But it's really not fair to either of us… you can drive yourself crazy with what ifs that way." She sighed, and leaned her head against the warrior's shoulder. Her eyes drifted up, and she studied the tense profile, half obscured by dark, windblown hair. She debated with herself for a long moment, then took a breath. "Xena… you know..um.." She felt her partner's body shift she turned slightly to look at her.

This was hard. It was something she'd been thinking about for a while now..since things had started to get better between them. She just had no idea how Xena would react to the suggestion. "You can… yell at me for being stupid for saying this.. " She started, feeling the arm around her tense. "But Xena.. you're still really young. You could… "

The warrior stopped walking, and just stood, eyes closed, for a very long moment.

"No." She replied softly. "I won't go through that again." She let her arms drop to her sides. "I can't." She grimaced. "I don't even think my body's capable of it anymore." Her shoulders dropped. "I can't… Gabrielle, I just…"

Well. Gabrielle nibbled her lip. Not entirely unexpected… but I had to try. On to plan B. "Ok.. ok.. I'm… listen, I'm sorry I… didn't meant to.. " Her nervous babbling brought Xena out of her silent stillness, as the warrior circled her shoulders again and started walking slowly down the path. "I mean.. I feel.. I see kids, like that, and I think…" Xena's arm tightened, and she snuggled into the offered warmth gratefully. "I think.. I want to know what that's like." She finished very softly. "Again."

Xena stopped walking again, this time for a completely different reason. She turned, and put both hands on the bard's shoulders, facing her around and gazing into her eyes with quiet, intensity. "What did you say?"

The red gold head lifted, and mist green eyes met hers unflinchingly. "Before we left home, we talked about a decision." She said quietly. "I've been thinking about that a lot."

The warrior let her hands drop, and took several breaths, unsure of what to answer.

Gabrielle's gaze dropped. Guess it was too much to hope for that she'd feel the same way… after what happened. "I'm sorry…I won't.. bring that up again." She broke free, and started down the path, leaving her silent partner behind. Gods, that was stupid. Just when things were going right, you had to go and drop that on her. And what am I really doing this for? For me? Or for her? Do I want a child, or do I really just want to try and give her back Solon?

She walked on a few more steps. Does it matter? The silence behind her was deafening. Not anymore, I guess.

She walked alone what seemed like forever, almost back to the thin path that lead up to the road into Amphipolis. Alone with her thoughts, which weren't really pleasant, until she heard soft footfalls behind her, moving at a light jog. They caught up to her, and then there was Xena, slowing to a walk, pacing at her side in awkward quiet.

"You caught me by surprise." Came the very gentle statement. "I.. didn't think you…would ever.."

Gabrielle shook her head slowly. "It's all right… I'm.. not really even sure if I meant it."

Xena caught her arm, and stopped, making her swing around and face her partner again. The warrior gently cupped her cheek and took her other hand in her own. "Gabrielle… I think you did."

They looked at each other. "I know it doesn’t make much sense." The bard admitted. "After everything."

The warrior let a wistful smile shape her lips. "No..after everything, it makes perfect sense." She smoothed the fair skin lightly "Knowing you… knowing who you are… nothing else would make any sense at all." She leaned forward and kissed her.

Well… Gabrielle felt a tiny, racing spark flash through her. That's a start.

A loud yell attracted their attention, and they both turned, to see Toris running towards them.

The inn was busy for lunch, filled with tired, sweaty men and women escaping from the summer's heat for a little while, indulging a few dinars in Cyrene's cold ale and waybread stuffed with summer vegetables and chilled fish. The innkeeper had just returned to the kitchen, and was leaning back, a mug of cold cider in her hand, when the door pushed open, and Gabrielle poked her fair head in. "Hey cutie." Cyrene smiled gently. "C'mon over here."

The bard slipped into the room, and let the door close behind her. "Hi… " She walked over and ran a hand through disheveled hair. "Just came in to get some bread…" She smiled. "It's nice to have Toris and Granella home, huh?"

Cyrene tucked some fresh, warm rolls into a basket, and added a small dish of honey butter with it. "Here you go… how are things going out there, ok?" She straightened Gabrielle's collar. "I heard we had some trouble?"

Gabrielle took a roll from the top of the pile and nibbled it. "Yeah… Xena handled it… Hanna broke her leg though." She took a bigger bite and chewed thoughtfully. "Nothing big.. just some guys out looking for trouble, I think… "

The innkeeper poured her a glass of cider, then settled back against the table. "She all right?"

The bard took a long swallow before answering. "Well.. yeah… but I think she's gonna lose it if everyone doesn't stop asking her that.. Toris is driving her crazy."

"Hmm." Cyrene mused. "And he just got here, too…." She gave Gabrielle a wry look, then rubbed her arm gently. "He was very worried about you two."

Gabrielle glanced down, and regarded the floor. "I know… he's really sweet." She smiled a little, remembering the very tentative hug she'd received from her partner's brother, and the more normal one she'd gotten from Granella, who had held her at arms distance for a long, intense moment, before shaking her head. "I better get back out there.."

The innkeeper handed her a pitcher of cider. "There… and… Gabrielle, you know we're all just worried about her." A deep breath. "She seemed so washed out last night."

The bard nibbled her thumb. "Um… " Against her will, a tiny smile tugged at her lips. "Well, yeah.. but..she um… perked up a little after we left." She cleared her throat lightly. Perked up.. oh… Gabrielle.. that was bad. Bad bard.

"Ah." Cyrene nodded gravely. "That explains how your shirt ended up outside the cabin window." She patted the bard's reddening cheek. "I folded it and left it hanging over the railing."

"I…I…." Gabrielle stammered. "Um…" Gods…how did… I…it… She felt her skin heat wildly. Outside???

"Gabrielle… Gabrielle…. " Cyrene laughed, and took the basket and pitcher from her nerveless hands, setting them down on the table and pulling the bard into a gentle hug. "Honey, you've got nothing to be embarrassed about…I didn't mean to fluster you." Forgot she's a little shy about that. The innkeeper mused as she patted her back.

The bard let the familiar scent of herbs and cooking surround her, and sighed. "No… um..it's ok.. I just… " She hesitated. "Last night was kind of different…we.. it was… I mean, we hadn't…" Damn.. I'm all over the place here. "She gave me back the ring.. and then.. I .. we shouldn't have.. she was really tired.. but ..she…"

"Gabrielle.." Cyrene put together the pieces suddenly. "It's all right…I'm sure it didn't do her any harm." She let out a breath. "I know this must be so hard for both of you." She felt the bard relax a little, and pulled back, putting her hands on her shoulders. "Come on.. let's go out there and take it easy.. it's too hot to get all bothered today."

That got a reluctant smile from Gabrielle, who picked up the basket and pitcher and allowed Cyrene to escort her out the door, and into the main part of the inn.

"Xena…" Toris watched the bard head towards the kitchen, and bent his dark head towards his sister. The warrior was seated with her arms braced on the table, her hands cupped around a pewter goblet full of ale. "Listen.. "

Xena cocked her head towards him, taking a sip of her ale, and blinking. "Hmm?" She pulled her thoughts back from where they'd been wandering, and tried to pay attention to her brother's words. But it was hard, with her mind really interested in considering what Gabrielle had said, and what it might mean for both of them…not that she didn't appreciate Toris' concern, she did, but….

Gabrielle was actually thinking about having another child.

After everything that had happened to her.. to them…how could she? Why would she? To make up for Hope? To prove something to herself.. or to Xena? Damn, she had nothing to prove… she had no part in what happened…

But… she was thinking about it…wasn't she?

The sudden surge of wistful hope hit her before she could slam the lid down on it, and she closed her eyes until she could wrestle it back. No. You asked her to kill her last child. You lost the right to have anything to do with any other one she might have, or want to have, or be thinking of having. Just stop it right now.

Toris exchanged a worried look with Granella, who was seated across from him. "Xena?"

She looked up. "Sorry." She muttered. "I was just thinking." She focused her gaze on him. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Toris reached over and laid a hand on her wrist, closing his fingers over it and meeting her eyes as she looked up. "Just glad you're home." His lips twitched. "Glad you both are."

Xena nodded a little. "Thanks… " She glanced up at both of them. "Sorry you had a trip out for nothing…we were kind of headed back this way."

Granella shrugged a little, and gave her a deprecating grin. "S'allright… we had to stop out by the Amazons anyway… that's how we found out you were back." She plucked a splinter from the table, and shot Xena a look. "Had to pick up my stuff." Her lips curled into a wry smile. "And put up with a ton of centaur poop from the gang."

That, finally, got a smile from the dark haired woman. "So I hear." She cuffed Toris lightly on the shoulder. "Congratulations." An eyebrow quirked. "Or maybe not." She amended, giving Granella a quirky grin. "Hey.. listen… that reminds me…"

They leaned closer, as Xena dropped her voice. "Yeah?" Toris inquired, glancing up to see their mother and Gabrielle crossing the crowded room.

"I wanna make it a double." The warrior rumbled. "She thinks she's too old for that… but.. " Hers and Toris' eyes met in sibling understanding. "I thought we could… kinda.. if we got Jocelyn into it… "

"Jos into what?" Cyrene asked, as she nudged Gabrielle towards Xena's side of the table, and pulled a chair out and seated herself.

"Uh." Xena stalled.

"Um." Toris added, snapping his fingers. "Um.. we were… discussing…"

"Horses." The warrior finally added. "He.. wants to breed his gray to the colts."

Cyrene stared at her. "Two years from now? That's counting your chickens before they lay eggs much less hatch." Her brows creased. "What are you two up to?"

Gabrielle watched her partner's face with interest, seldom seeing her at a loss like that. "Xena always plans ahead, mom." The bard assured her. "Hey.. did I tell you about the weird thing that happened with the bull, and the red paint?" Attention immediately diverted itself to her, and she launched into the tale, feeling the solid, sure pressure of her soulmate's grip on her knee under the table. Her face broke into smile that had nothing to do with the story, and she reached down and covered the strong hand with her own, curling her fingers around Xena's longer ones and giving them a little squeeze. It was returned, but she felt the faint tremor in them, and sensed an odd pang coming through their connection.

A look over, and she saw Xena watching her, with a quiet, sad look in her eyes that the bard didn't understand. She finished the story, and started another, keeping the laughter going around the table while they ate lunch, and edging closer and closer to her subdued soulmate. "Hey." She finally whispered, as Toris was relating an encounter they'd had to the south. "What's up?"

Blue eyes found hers. "Not much… " Then they dropped, and studied the tabletop. "Just thinking, that's all." Xena replied softly. "I liked that bull story… but I don’t remember getting hit in the face with that red painted tail."

"No." Gabrielle licked her lips. "It was somewhere else, but… " Her lips twitched into a teasing grin. "We won't mention that." She watched Xena return the grin, then waited a beat. "So.. I was thinking of taking a walk up to our spring… you interested?" She's not gonna talk here… "Always nice and cool up there."

Xena hesitated, then let out a gentle sigh. "All right."

Gabrielle squeezed her hand, then returned her attention to the laughing crowd. "They're gonna make me sweat tonight…" She cast her gaze around the crowded tavern, where some of the crowd were occasionally glancing their way, and giving her little smiles and waves. "I'm going to get out into the fresh air for a little while."

Cyrene smiled. "Good idea… take her with you." She pointed at her daughter. "Make her take it easy for the rest of the day." She blithely ignored the dour look she got from the taller woman, and merely looked back at her with a determined air, crunching on a bit of carrot. "Bye."

They left the noisy inn behind, and walked up the shaded path that led to the spring. Gabrielle reached over and took her soulmate's hand in her own, and let her thumb rub against the tanned skin, watching the thoughtful look on Xena's face closely. "So.. "

Xena turned her head, and gazed fondly at her. "Gabrielle, if you ask me if I'm ok, I'm going to have to do something drastic to prove it." She warned wryly. "I mean it."

"I wasn't going to ask that." The bard protested, as they climbed up to the grassy plateau that held the spring, and chose a nice shady spot to sit down in. "Hold it.." She settled herself with her back against a tall tree, and patted her lap. "Put your head down."

For a long moment, she thought Xena would refuse, since it put the warrior in a very vulnerable position, and she was already upset. But the blue eyes dropped, and then she meekly let her body recline on the ground and nestled her head against the bard's thigh. Gabrielle gently ran her fingers through the dark hair, loving the feeling of the silken strands against her skin, and knowing that tended to relax her partner.

It worked. Xena's breathing slowed, and she blinked up at the bard with a more peaceful expression. "So.. what were you going to ask?"

Gabrielle continued her stroking motion, gently parting her soulmate's hair, and moving it off her face. "I was going to ask what's upsetting you.. but I think I know the answer." She replied quietly. "I… it wasn't fair for me to bring that whole thing up Xena… we're not ready for it… I'm sorry."

Xena shifted, as though she was going to get up, then sighed, and stayed where she was. "Gabrielle.. if that's what you want.. then you should do it." Her voice held a husky tone.

"If that's what I want?" The bard questioned. "What do you want?"

There was a long silence, as they listened to the rippling chuckle of the water. "I don't… " Xena finally sighed. "Think what I want should matter." She looked up at the bard's very still face. "Look.. what I.. I asked you to do.. what.. I was going to do..to Hope.."

"Xena, you were right." Gabrielle whispered miserably.

"I was wrong." The warrior shot back. "I was so wrong in not.. understanding what you were going through.. or how you felt… or just what in Hades I was asking you, YOU, Gabrielle… to do… it was wrong. I'm wrong." She rolled over, and started to get up, but found herself pulled backwards by a strong arm, and she let herself be dragged back. "How.. could you even want me to… be any part of that?"

"Xena…you listen to me." The bard gripped her chin, and forced her to make eye contact. "I forgive you for that." She let her fingers relax, and gently explore the warrior's cheek. Xena was staying very quiet, and just watching her. "This.. is something I really want…I want to do it." Her eyes searched the warrior's intently. "But I can't do it alone.. and I don't want to… you're a part of me, Xena…and any child I have will be a part of you, too."

They looked at each other. Finally Xena's shoulders slumped, and Gabrielle felt the tension relax in her neck. "How can you trust me?" The warrior asked, in a quiet, sad voice. "I can't."

The bard let her eyes slide closed, as she leaned over, and hugged her soulmate. "How can I trust you?" She whispered in agony. "How can I? I lied, I betrayed you, I took your son from you, and you still love me, and you ask me how I can trust you?"

Xena let herself sink into that embrace, as the words imprinted themselves in her mind. Trust, she acknowledged, was a two way crossing. They'd both been hurt.. both been betrayed.. but.. She curled an arm up over the bard's shoulders and held on. They'd chosen each other all over again anyway.

And that was… just the way it was, that was all. No sense in questioning it, no sense in making either of them more miserable… "Gabrielle?" She uttered softly.

The bard lifted her head, and gazed at her with reddened eyes. "Please…" Fingers touched her lips, silencing her.

"If… " Xena paused and a tiny quirk moved her lips. "When.. you bring a child into this world…" She stopped for a breath. "It will be a part of me." Gabrielle's breathing caught. "And… I promise you… Gabrielle.. I will love it.. and I will protect it.. for as long as I live." She found it very hard to swallow all of a sudden. "Just like I will you." She finished in a whisper.

Gabrielle's head dropped to rest on hers, and the bard wrapped her arms around the warrior's shoulders. They stayed like that for a while, then the bard straightened, and sniffled back her tears. "Glad we have that settled." She murmured, lifting Xena's hand to her face, and brushing her lips against the knuckles. "There are no safer hands in the world to be in."

The birds danced around them for a while, moving in flittering motion from plant to plant, searching for grubs. The water sounds soothed both sets of frazzled nerves, until Gabrielle found her mind drifting off, as her hands gently stroked her partner's tanned skin.

"Keep doing that.. and I'm gonna fall asleep." The warrior commented softly, her eyes closed.

"That's the whole point." Gabrielle answered. "You're going to want to stay up talking and drinking all night with your brother.. I thought you'd want to get some rest in now. " She paused, and cocked an eyebrow at the faintly smirking Xena. "So you don't keel over and get embarrassed. "

"Gabrielle!" The warrior protested. "I'm fine, for Ares' sake." She contemplated bouncing up from the ground to prove it, but it was just so comfortable right where she was, with Gabrielle's gentle touch relaxing her, and the cool breeze counteracting the day's heat. The release from the tension of their brief conflict left her unwilling to move, unwilling to break the spell that her partner's presence was casting over her. "Really."

"Mmhmm." The bard agreed amiably, moving her patterns lower, across the warrior's belly. "I know.. I know… but a nap won't kill you.. and it's such a nice spot, isn't it?"

"Don't need a nap." Came the sleepy argument.

"Of course not." Gabrielle assured her, watching her soulmate's breathing slow, and deepen. "But it's so peaceful here.. I'd really like to just stay here with you for a while… please?" She let her voice soften on the entreaty.

"No fair." But a smile edged its way onto Xena's face. "I'm being shamelessly manipulated."

Gabrielle smiled quietly to herself as she felt he muscles under her fingertips loosen and go slack, and the soft warmth of her partner's exhaled breath warmed her skin as Xena surrendered to her coaxing. She watched the familiar features ease into sleep, and let herself indulge in a long, sweet moment of reveling in their renewed closeness. Then she let her head rest back against the rough bark of the tree, and allowed a long held breath to trickle out.

It was a beautifully sunny day. Xena vaguely realized she was dreaming, but that was ok, because it was a nice dream… one of the good ones. They'd spent the day relaxing on the beach, chasing each other up and down the sand.. she'd felt like a kid again She couldn’t remember the last time she'd laughed so much.. her stomach hurt from it.

She'd taken a net, and dove down into the water, emptying her lungs of air, and hitting the bottom, scooping up load after load of shellfish, which she'd dragged to the surface, and sloshed out of the water with, emptying them on the bed of seaweed next to the cooking pit where Gabrielle was busily sorting them. Three of the green and black spiny lobsters even, which she'd grabbed onto, completely startled by their strength as they pulled her through the clear seawater.

They'd steamed the bounty, and then spent half the night just watching the stars, and talking, and eating.. it had felt very decadent, but she knew they deserved it, after getting loose from Cecrops cursed ship, and her barely avoiding being blinded.. and Gabrielle killed.

Now she lay on her back, feeling the sand still holding the sun's warmth shape itself to her body, and gazed up at the explosion of bright lights above her, taking in a deep breath of the air richly laden with salt from the nearby sea. A bit of something warm touched her lips, and she glanced up, to see Gabrielle dangling a piece of lobster in front of her, a sweet, relaxed smile on her face.

The bard was leaning on one elbow, her damp hair draped over her mostly bare shoulders, and the fire had kissed her skin with golden highlights. Xena had allowed herself to feel the surge of animal attraction between them, and had only barely kept from acting on it, as she'd taken the tidbit from the smaller woman with a faint, rakish grin.

Their eyes had met, and almost… almost… her mind had imagined what it would have felt like if Gabrielle had just come a few inches closer, if they'd let their fear go… the gentle touch of the bard's lips against her own..

Became reality, as she let her eyes drift open, to see soft green ones gazing back at her with that same loving look.

That had always… always been there for her, even from the very beginning, but she'd been too scared, and too angry to let herself see it. "Hi." Now she took in a deep breath of the moisture kissed air of the spring, and glanced around at the deep golden light of late afternoon. "Just a little nap, huh?" But she really couldn't be mad with Gabrielle.. because the fight had tired her out, and sapped her very slowly.. too slowly.. rebuilding reserves.

A light shrug. "I fell asleep too." Gabreille admitted, with a tiny yawn. "Tell me it didn't make you feel better?" She gave her partner a knowing look, putting a gentle fingertip in her nose. "C'mon, Xena…it's not a crime to take more than a candlemark to recover from being sick."

Xena gazed up at her and smiled her full, real smile. "All right…you are absolutely correct. I feel great." She rolled her head to one side and rubbed her cheek against the bard's belly, then stretched her body out with a sigh. "Mmm… I was just having a dream about that day we spent on the beach."

Gabrielle grinned wistfully at her. "Oh… I remember that…. " She laughed softly. "You don't know how close I was to just leaning over and kissing you that night.. I wanted to sooooo bad." She combed Xena's hair with her fingers. "You in that barely nothing linen number you were parading around in all day."

The warrior let out a long chuckle. "Me?" She poked a thumb at her own chest. "What about you? One little tiny piece of fabric here.. " Her finger lightly traced the bard's lower abdomen. "And another up here." She laid a finger on the curve of her partner's breast. "Was that fair?"

They both laughed, then quieted, and looked at each other. "We had a lot of rough times." Gabrielle laid a hand on the warrior's shoulder, and rubbed it. "But we had a lot of good ones, too." She paused. "That's kind of how life is, isn't it?"

Xena thought about that for a bit, then regarded her quietly. "Yeah… I guess it is." She folded her hands across her stomach. "We'd better head back down."

Gabrielle stretched, extending her legs and tightening her thigh muscles, then relaxing them. "Oh…all right." She sighed. "Hey… what were you and Toris up to today?" She tangled her fingers in the warrior's hair and tugged it gently. "Hmm?"

"Oh. Well… thanks, by the way." Xena commented, stifling a yawn. "Um… Toris and Granella are planning on getting joined in about a month."

A fair eyebrow curved up. "And… this is supposed to be kept secret from mom?"

"No." Xena shook her head. "Mom knows all about it." She replied. "But, see… she and Johan were discussing recording things… and she thinks she's too old for us to make a party.. or anything like that for her." The warrior crossed her ankles. "She's really stubborn about stuff like that."

The bard muffled a giggle.

Xena cast an eye back at her. "Go ahead.. say it." She gave her a wry grin. "Runs in the family, right?"

"Well, it does." Gabrielle leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Yeah, yeah…" The warrior rolled her eyes. "Anyway, having a party for her and keeping it secret is not really… practical. So I thought we could just double up on the one we're throwing for Toris and Granella, and… there you go."

"Hmm." Gabrielle mused. "Not a bad idea." She ducked her head again and this time aimed for her partner's lips, pinning her willing captive down, and letting her hands roam lightly over the relaxed body sprawled in the grass.

It felt so damn good to just be able to do that again..to let her fingers travel over the lean form, as the muscles moved and shifted under her touch. "Mmm…" She moved her head back a little, and let her eyes drink in the sight of her soulmate, enjoying the flicker of sunlight that was dappling her skin. "So..what are we going to get them?"

Xena captured her hand, and nibbled its fingers lightly. "Who? Mom and Johan.. or Toris and Granella?"

"Yes." The bard replied, closing her eyes and concentrating on the tingling jolts Xena's attentions were shooting up and down her spine. "Ooo…. I.. figured maybe some… um.. Xena, that’s…"

"Yeah, I know." The warrior felt her partner's body squirm a little as she found a particularly sensitive spot. Then she hesitated, remembering. "Hey….are you all right with this?" She reached up and brushed the bard's cheek, as the green eyes fluttered open. "I… I don't want to.. to rush things, if you're… whoa." Xena received her answer via a sweetly passionate kiss. A happy chill skittered up her spine, as she responded, and let herself relax into a wave of seductive warmth, familiar and poignant after their long estrangement. We shouldn't do this…. The practical part of her mind interrupted her. But it felt way too good to stop, and she couldn’t find enough willpower to even so much as slow down.

The bard's skin warmed under her touch, as she slipped a hand under the soft tunic fabric and let her hands return the insistent exploration her partner was pursuing. They rolled gently onto the grassy surface, and she pulled Gabrielle's body up, settling her into a comfortable spot as she nibbled her way across the bard's collarbone, feeling the pulse pounding wildly just under the surface.

No fear this time… Gabrielle's thoughts exulted. Nothing but pure sensual enjoyment as the leaves danced patterns over both of them, and the setting sun washed their bodies with crimson warmth. No fear, no Dahok… no memories of the horror… just a sweet peace that sent a healing wave over her, and caused a rich, soft laugh to come bubbling up out of her chest.

Did she hear an echo? No…her hands, pressed momentarily flat against the muscular abdomen under her felt the ripple as Xena laughed with her, before they fell against each other, and let the fierce passion take them over.

"Xena?" Gabrielle let out a contented sigh, drifting in a cloud of sensual lassitude. She was draped comfortably over her partner's long body, with her head tucked neatly under the warrior's chin. The rich scent of the grass they were laying in rose around her, and she plucked a stalk of it, chewing it absently.

"Hmm?" The warrior was letting her hands move in lazy circles against her partner's bare back, as the breeze lifted their hair and intertwined it, tangling black and gold strands in wild disarray. "What are you chewing on there?"

"We really gotta go back." The bard observed. "I'm hungry." She held up the stalk. "See?"

Xena let out a burst of surprised laughter. "Gods… some things just don't change, do they?" She gave the bard's stomach a gentle tickle. "Ok..ok… let me up.. can't have you starving now, can I? "

Gabrielle obligingly rolled off her, ending up on her back, with her limbs sprawled, gazing up at the gently whispering leaves over her head. She gave Xena an impish look as the warrior lifted herself up on one elbow, and fastened the bard's tunic, buckling the belt and giving her a little pat.

"Up you go.." Xena pushed herself up and got to her feet, fastening her own clothing and running a hand through her disordered hair, then extending a hand down to the still reclining bard. "C'mon."

Gabrielle grabbed the hand, and jerked hard, surprising her normally agile partner and causing her to lose her balance, and stumble forward, missing landing on the bard by way of a mid air flip that ended her up in the grass. "Hey!!" She rolled over, giving her soulmate an outraged look. "What was that for?"

The bard let a short breath out. "Um..sorry." A touch of confusion blurred her voice. "I… I was just..um…" She stopped. "Sorry." No more playtime, Gabrielle. Try to remember that. "I… let's go." She stood up, brushing her tunic off, and started down the overgrown path.

She never heard the footsteps, never heard the whisper of leaves shifting their way around a moving body, never felt the air displacing until something very big, and very warm hit her from behind, and took her crashing through the leaves and into a thick bed of sweet smelling wild flowers. She rolled over twice, wrapped in strong arms, as pollen exploded around her and drifted down to cover them both in a golden haze.

"Oh no.. you started this." Came the soft response, as half frightened, half aching blue eyes searched her face, in the dying light of the day. "I… I miss playing with you, Gabrielle… I didn't mean… you just surprised me." She let out a breath. "I'm sorry."

Gabrielle leaned close, and blew a dusting of pollen off her forehead. "It's ok." She managed a smile. "I keep forgetting… it's going to take… time." She gently reached up and stroked Xena's cheek. "I'm the one who should be apologizing." She shook her head. "I just… forgot… or maybe my mind wants so badly to go back to where we were before, it just…blanks that stuff out, and I… " Helplessly, she started crying, not really sure of why.

"Oh.. Gabrielle." Xena responded gently, pulling her body against her own, almost smothering her in a hug. "Hey.. hey… we're getting there…." She rocked the bard lightly. "Aren't we?" The uncertain note in her voice was very evident.

The bard felt her sobs ease, as the words filtered through her understanding. It was true, she knew it, had felt it as surely as she could now feel the rapid pounding of Xena's heart under her cheek. Suddenly her lack of control touched her with embarrassment, as she sensed her partner's distress. "We are… we are… of course we are..I'm being such a damn baby…" She looked up and gave the warrior a contrite look. "I must be getting close to cycling…"

That brought a gentle smile to Xena's face. "Mmm… yeah… you do get a little touchy around then."

One eyebrow elevated. "What's that suppose to mean?" Gabrielle scowled.

Xena could have let it sting, but she took a breath, and bore down, knowing they had to get past this fear of each other before healing could really happen. Instead, she raised her own eyebrow, and smirked.

Gabrielle opened her mouth to make a heated retort, then stopped, and let a smile appear on her face as she wagged a finger at her partner. "Cute, Xena… very cute." It got her a genuine, full smile in return, which eased the lingering bands hugging her heart. She plucked two of the wild flowers, and brushed their feathery tips against Xena's tanned skin, speckling the soft surface with yellow dust. A grin quirked her lips, and she brushed a twin streak across the warrior's other cheekbone. "Stripes." She observed. "I like it."

A very faint, devilish gleam sparked in those very blue eyes. Xena reached out a long arm and plucked a handful of the blooms, fluttering them rapidly under the bard's chin, and covering her throat with the glittering pollen. "Spots." The warrior drawled. "I like it."

They eyed each other, then the flower bed exploded in a flurry of pollen, as they grabbed every bloom in reach and set to work dousing each other in the sweet scented stuff.

"Yah!" Gabrielle squirmed around, and got a handful of the flowers under her partner's loosely fastened shirt, feeling her convulse as the stems tickled her. "Heh.. gotcha…..whoops…AUGH!!!"

Xena had used the fact that the bard's back was turned to her to get a good aim on the back of her thigh, which was her most ticklish spot. The warrior grabbed onto the bard's writhing body and alternated between one leg and the other, until Gabrielle howled in surrender. She released her partner immediately.

Bad idea. Gabrielle rolled away, then got her feet under her and launched herself back at the half lying, half seated warrior, whose eyes widened as the compact body hurtled towards her. "Whoa!" The bard yelled as they collided, and her momentum sent them tumbling backwards.

Down a small slope, which contained long grasses that whipped them lightly as they rolled by, laughing too hard to stop. "Whoa…oh… hey… " Xena blinked, and grabbed the bard as her tumbled rapidly increased, and she glanced around, trying to get her bearings "Uh… Gab… oh… " The ground dropped out from under her, and she cursed, wrapping her arms and legs around her startled partner as they fell through the air.

"Hey!" Gabrielle yelped, as the foliage flashed past her eyes, and the scent of water suddenly hit her. "Gods.. the spring.."

Xena sighed inwardly, and half turned her body, so that the impact, when it came, would hit her, and not Gabrielle. She felt the nearness of the approaching surface, and winced in reaction. "Hang on…"

She expected a splash, but the impact, when it came, was more of a… splat.

It knocked the breath out of her, enough for the sensation of sinking, and the warm, oozing, sucking sensation to confuse her before she realized what had happened. "Oh Hades codpiece." She groaned, releasing her partner and spreading her arms wide.

"Ew." Gabrielle muffled a giggle, as they sunk into thick, black mud, which glorped, and bubbled, eager to suck down its new inhabitants. "Gross."

The mud burped, splattering her with its gooey stickiness, but that didn't rid her face of it's grin as she perched on her partner's chest, staring down at the mud covered warrior. Playfully, she dipped a finger into the ooze and touched it to Xena's nose. "Spots." She grinned. "I like it."

Xena's hands moved swiftly, capturing the bard's face and sliding her fingers across it. "Stripes." She grinned right back. "I like it."

Another spot. Another stripe. Then they were wrestling in the soft black mud, grabbing frantically for holds on skin that was rapidly becoming slick with wetness. "Gotcha.." Gabrielle panted, getting an arm around her partner's body, and holding on.

"Don’t think so." Xena growled back, flipping her whole body over and freeing herself, then catching the bard around the waist and rubbing a handful of mud in her hair.

 "Ugh." The bard howled, tossing a glob over her shoulder and ducking, then realizing that her partner's tormenting had stopped. She peeked over her shoulder, and her eyes widened at the sight of her soulmate's face completely covered in black ooze. "Oops." She bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Sorry… bleh!" A mudball pegged her in the mouth. "Pah.. " She spat out a mouthful of the stuff. "Pah..pah pah.. " She poked her tongue out, and shook her head rapidly. "Gross… Xena!"

They paused, both breathing hard, and looked at each other, at two mud covered, widely grinning faces.

It felt, Gabrielle closed her eyes and absorbed it. It felt, very, very much like home. She didn't even twitch as arms closed around her, and she was slowly lifted clear of the mud. She kept her eyes closed, and wound her arms around Xena's neck, ignoring the stench and the stickiness of the mud as Xena's body moved, and she heard the unpleasant, distinctive sound of sucking as the warrior pulled her boots free of the muck, one labored step at a time. "I can walk, you know." She reminded her partner, opening one eye and regarding the mud encrusted features close to her own.

"Trying to ruin my fun?" Xena replied, managing to retain a quietly noble air despite the stiffened, dried mud that poked her hair out in all directions.

"Me? Never." Gabrielle sighed, and put her head back down. "Where are we going?"

The warrior's steps lengthened, then Gabrielle heard a splash as the boots hit water instead of mud. "Oh." She sniffed reflectively. "Yeah.. I guess showing up at home looking like bog beasties is probably not a good idea." The water hit her butt, and she flinched. "Whoo… that's cold." She looked up. "Couldn't you find a warm spring?"

Xena glanced down, then grinned wickedly, and simply unlocked her knees, plunging them both into the chilly spring water. She released Gabrielle, who shook herself vigorously, and surfaced, blowing out a mouthful of water, and running her fingers through her now once again red golden hair. She watched as Xena did the same, emerging from the spring's depths and letting out a breath that stirred the water's surface with its force. The last rays of sunlight gilded her, and backlit the dripping wet linen that outlined her body.

They faced each other for a long moment, letting themselves adjust to what had just happened.

"So." Gabrielle sloshed forward, and plucked at the wet shirt. "Now I guess we've just got to go back… and get you changed before you come down with a fever." She paused. "Again." She sneaked a peek at Xena's face, which held only an indulgent grin. The teasing felt… right, as it hadn't for so long.

"Yes, mom." Xena replied softly, reaching out and cupping her cheek. "We'd better.. I can hear your stomach growling from here."

Gabrielle snorted, then grinned ruefully, as her body betrayed her, and dropped a hand to her belly. "Busted."

"C'mon." Xena held out a hand, and waited for her to take it, then they walked out of the spring, and down the path leading home.

"So." Johan stepped up behind her, and let his chin rest on her shoulder. "They'll stay around, you think?"

Cyrene continued her counting task, sorting beans into three piles. "I don't know." She answered absently, then stopped, and juggled a handful of beans as she looked back at him. "Maybe." She sighed. "Gods know they both desperately need some time to recover." Her head moved silently from side to side. "Xena said.. the other morning.. that her priorities in life had changed.. we never had a chance to talk about that. I'm hoping that means she's staying."

Johan nudged her shoulder, and pointed outside the window, and they watched as the dusky blue twilight grudgingly revealed two shadowed forms edging out of the tall grasses and into the fitful fluttering glow of the torches on the outside of the inn.

Her daughter's unmistakably tall, lithe body, one arm wrapped comfortably around the smaller Gabrielle, both of them walking with unhurried, easy strides towards their cabin. As they watched, the bard looked up at her companion, and smiled, then leaned her head against the nearby shoulder, and wound an arm around the warrior's waist. Cyrene shook her head, then squinted. "Stay here." She bustled out the back door to the inn, and intercepted the strolling pair.

"Hi." Gabrielle greeted her, as they slowed. "Sorry.. that was a little longer than I expected, and…"

Cyrene got right up next to them, and grabbed Xena's sleeve. "You're wet." She accused.

A swift exchange of glances followed. "Um… well, yeah." The bard answered carefully. "It was..um…"

The innkeeper held up a hand. "Where is your sense, the two of you? Xena, you've just spent days in bed with a fever, and you walk around dripping wet like this?" Her voice was tight with anger. "What are you trying to do?"

Xena was suddenly revisited with stark memories of her childhood, of being caught doing things she wasn't supposed to be doing. "Mother, it was an accident…and we headed right back…"

Her mother's voice overpowered her. "Don't give me that, Xena…when are you going to learn to take care of yourself? Do you still think no one gives a damn ab.." She stopped, faced suddenly with intense green eyes that were on a level with hers, and focused intently.

"Stop it." Gabrielle had shifted her body, and put herself between her soulmate and the angry innkeeper. "It was my fault." She turned, and put both hands flat against Xena's stomach. "Go change."

"But…" The warrior protested.

"Please?" Gabrielle uttered, in a low voice.

Xena let out a short, impatient breath, but nodded, and backed off, turning and walking away without another word. Gabrielle waited a long beat before she swiveled and faced Cyrene, who was standing quietly, observing her with an unreadable expression. "It was my fault." The bard repeated. "I pushed her into a mud puddle, and we had to clean off."

Cyrene regarded her thoughtfully. "A mud puddle?" She hesitated. "You were fighting?" She asked carefully, remembering with anguish the stories Ephiny had told, of Xena's brutal treatment of the young bard. "Gabrielle.. " She moved a step closer, concerned.

A small shake of the bard's head. "No." She let out a short laugh. "We were just playing." She plucked at her own wet clothing. "It's.. .been a long time since we did that… I guess I got a little too enthusiastic…we ended up in some really disgusting black mud near the spring and we had to duck into the water to get it off us." She glanced up, sheepishly. "So.. don't yell at her, ok?"

Cyrene put her hands on her hips, and gave the bard an affectionate look. "You always were her champion, weren't you?" She sighed, then put a hand on Gabrielle's damp shoulder. "I wish she'd had a friend like you when she was young, Gabrielle. " A wistful smile. "Come on.. I'll walk you home. You need to change too."

They walked in silence for a few paces. "I wish I had too." Gabrielle reflected soberly. "I remember… one time, when I was… oh, nine or ten, I guess…it.. hadn't been a really nice day…and I was out hiding in the barn loft, watching the kids play in the yard." She paused a bit, thinking. "I…was thinking that with all those kids.. and even with my sister, that no one ever… really…understood me… never listened to my dreams.. or even cared about who I was." Their footsteps crunched lightly on the graveled path, as the first owl's hoots sounded. "I never thought anyone would." She shook her head. "But Xena did… she… somehow…understood me.. and she didn't only listen to my dreams, she made them real." Now her eyes pinned Cyrene's. "Of course I defend her."

They both looked up as the door opened, and Xena ambled out, dressed in a richly silky dress, followed by a prancing Ares. She stood at the top of the stairs, and put her hands on her hips. "Listen, mother. Gabrielle catches cold easy.. I don’t' appreciate you keeping her out here in the breeze like that."

Cyrene's jaw dropped, and she stared at her daughter, who sauntered down the steps and took the bard's elbow, gently escorting her up the stairs. She finally clamped her jaw shut, and shook her head. "Women your age playing in mud puddles… you both aught to be ashamed." She turned on her heel, and walked off, muttering.

Gabrielle waited until the door closed behind her before she let out a soft giggle, turning around as Xena gently peeled the damp cloth from her body, and draped a dry, clean garment around her. "Mmm." She let her fingers run down the soft fabric, admiring it's rich, green color. "I always liked this one." She fastened the laces on the low cut neckline which displayed a fair amount of her shoulders, and smiled a little, as the candlelight in the cabin caught and reflected from the crystal pendant around her neck.

"Me too." Xena agreed, stepping up behind her, and running a brush through her fair hair, which was well on it's way to drying. "You look really pretty in it."

Gabrielle let out a soft breath, and absorbed the compliment happily. "Thanks." She threw a selfconcious glance at the mirror, which captured both their reflections in candelight. An eyebrow arched gently, as she took in the light fabric which draped against her body, moving gently as she breathed. I hardly recognize myself. She thought. The face that solemnly looked back at her seemed far older than she remembered, and when had her eyes gained that intense look? "I don’t look anything like my mother or Lila, do I?" She mused softly.

"No." Xena's voice burred over her shoulder. "Not really." She fluffed Gabrielle's hair out and played with her bangs, parting them in different ways until the bard gave her a look. "Guess you must be a throwback or something… if you look far enough back in your family, you'll find some other fair haired, green eyed ancestor."

"Hm." Gabrielle considered that. "Maybe." She turned around, dismissing her reflection, and straightened the lace trimmed collar on the burgundy silk dress that hugged her partner's body. "Mm… I always like this one too..only on you." She ran a finger down Xena's side. "What's the occasion?"

Xena didn't answer for a moment. Then she lifted her hand and gently brushed the remaining pollen from her partner's fair eyebrows. "Do you know what we were doing one year ago today?"

Gabrielle gazed at her, surprised. "Not off the top of my head… but you do, right?"

The warrior nodded once. "We were standing in Hectator's stronghold, getting ready for a party." The night she had freely, and willingly loosed the strings that bound her heart, and given it to the bard, making a decision that she'd hesitated over for what seemed like a lifetime, afraid that going forward would change a friendship she'd desperately needed, or worse.. end it.

The bard stroked her arm gently. "I have some very fond memories of that night. " She paused, and blushed. "Now, anwyay." She added in a low mutter, then glanced up, smiling. "So… are we celebrating?"

Xena returned the smile. "Yeah, I guess we are." She flicked the bard's bangs. "I think we're due a little celebration.. don't you?"

Gabrielle's smile broadened. "Oh yeah." She held out a hand. "C'mon.. I won't even tell any of the embarrassing stories tonight.. I promise."

The inn was almost full when they got there, and Xena held the door open to allow her partner to enter. She stepped inside after, ducking her head to enter though the doorway was more than sufficient to accommodate her inches. Habit.. she mused, as she straightened up, and glanced across the room.

The rumble of conversation had dampened, as eyes turned their way, and stuck, and she heard the faint wolf whistle that had to have come from Toris just to her right at their table. She cast her brother a sardonic look as she started to pull a chair back, then stopped, and instead tugged one out for Gabrielle, who goggled at her before she seated herself with a muffled chuckle.

She felt a faint flush as she dropped into the chair next to her, and was glad of the inn's relative darkness to cover it. "Hey." She gave her brother a slap in the ribs.

Toris mock coughed. "Ow." He glanced down as Ares cuddled himself down in a ball next to Xena's feet. "Thank the gods you're back, sis.. that wolf did nothing but howl.. and whine.. and howl… every single moment you were gone… you'd think we'd parked a chair on his tail."

Xena looked down. "Did you do that?"

"Roo?" Ares poked his muzzle up, and licked her leg. "Arrgrrrooooo.." He laid his head down on her boot, and sighed.

The warrior grinned, and dropped a hand down and scratched his ears. "I missed you too." She whispered surreptitiously

"What was that?" Toris cupped his ear teasingly. "I didn’t quite catch it."

His sister shot him an evil look, and ignored the question, picking up a chunk of bread from the platter on the table and taking a bite. Gabrielle was leaning over, and speaking in low tones to Granella, who was dressed in a comfortable looking belted tunic in a pretty deep rust color, which brought out the warm chestnut highlights in her sun streaked hair. The Amazon's face was more animated than Xena remembered, and she couldn't fail to notice that Granella spared frequent glances and smiles at her brother. Guess that's what love does to you. She considered wryly. They both look damned happy… and I'm glad.

Toris put a finger on her wrist, and she turned towards him. "Yeah?"

He grinned. "Dinar for your thoughts." He looked up as a server set down a huge platter containing several joints, and a scattering of vegetables. "Whoops.. it'll hold." Manfully, he stood, and removed his dagger, starting to work on the roast.

Xena watched him for several moments, then shook her head. "Toris, siddown." She grabbed his wrist, and squeezed, catching the dagger as it fell from his suddenly nerveless fingers, and putting it aside as she drew her own, much longer blade and expertly sectioned the meat with sure, powerful strokes.

"Well, sure." Toris huffed. "You have a longer knife."

One dark eyebrow curved up, almost into Xena's hairline. "It's not the length, Toris.. it's the skill behind it." She purred, holding back a chuckle as she heard Gabrielle muffle a snort. "Right, Gabrielle?"

The bard was biting her lip. "Oh.. right." She nodded vigorously. "I always say that."

"Really? Why?" Granella joined the banter, her eyes twinkling. "And what's this I hear about mud wrestling?"

Gabrielle sucked up all her bardic training, and her skills, and kept a straight face. "Well… Xena's made sure that I've gotten training in all forms of hand to hand fighting." She explained earnestly. "You have to be prepared in all kinds of conditions.. mud.. snow… rain… " She paused. "Darkness… sleet.. did I say rain already?"

 Granella almost snorted her ale. "Be prepared, huh?"

The bard nodded solemnly. "Oh yes… we practice a lot. Xena wants to make sure I'm very safe.. Safety is very important, don’t you think?"

It took all of Xena's considerable self control to keep from howling, as she delicately finished slicing the roast up, and delivered portions to everyone's plates. "Oh yeah.. I'm big on safety." The warrior commented dryly, as she plopped a knife load of gently steaming beef in front of her partner, then looked up as Cyrene and Johan joined them. "Evening, mother." She held up her knife. "Would you like some meat?"

Both Granella and Gabrielle both found that funny, and burst out laughing.

Xena kept a mild look on her face.

"What's so funny?" The innkeeper asked, as she seated herself next to Granella, and gave them all a look. "Toris, why are you letting your sister do all the work? She's been sick." She scowled at her son. "Lazy thing."

His jaw sagged. "Mother!… but… she…"

Xena reversed her dagger, and drove it point first into the table, then seated herself and took a delicate bite. "That's all right.. I didn't mind." She glanced mildly over at her brother. "Anyway, I've got a longer, and sharper dagger."

Granella sprayed the table with a mouthful of ale, while Gabrielle blushed. "Xena." The bard muttered, giving her silk dress a tug. "Be nice."

The warrior widened innocent blue eyes at her. "I am being nice… I served everyone, didn’t' I?" She blinked. "It's not my fault Toris has a dull knife."

The slim Amazon burst out laughing, unable to hold it in any longer.

"Very funny." Toris growled, throwing a pea at his sister, who neatly caught it in her mouth, and swallowed it.

Cyrene sighed, and took a swallow of ale. "You'd think we could have normal conversations around this table." She muttered. "Like about sex or something."

"Mother!." Toris squeaked, in a horrified tone.

"About what?" Xena commented, halfway through chewing a bit of beef. "Hey..c'mon.. we're trying to eat, here."

Gabrielle stared at her plate, and didn't loosen the death grip she had on Xena's thigh, her whole body shaking from the effort not to laugh.

The innkeeper sighed. "Kids." She rolled her eyes.

The crowded inn sent a round of laughter ringing against the wooden floors and walls, and Gabrielle grinned in response, before she let the noise settle, and continued her story. She'd been at it for quite a while, running through three stories, and now close to the end of her fourth. It felt.. great, she admitted privately. The crowd was enjoying it, she was enjoying it.. she felt loose, and relaxed.. and she kept treating herself to quick glances over to where her soulmate was sitting, watching her with a warm smile on her face.

Yeah. Her eyes roamed around the familiar space. This is home. She watched as Josclyn edged his way through the crowd, and sat down next to Xena, speaking to her in low tones that made the warrior incline her dark head in that direction.

It didn't take long, and then he left, and she observed the thoughtful, pensive look on her soulmate's face with interest. Xena studied the table, then took a deep breath, and looked right up at her. Their eyes met, and held, and she almost lost the thread of the story she was telling at the intensity of Xena's gaze. But she managed to hold onto it, and finished the story, to wild applause that warmed her through.

She made her way back through the crowd, stopping a bunch of times for eager hands that held her, and friendly voices that questioned her.

"Gabrielle!" The woman's voice distracted her, and she turned that way, to see the weaver's wife beckoning her over. "Please.. a moment with you."

She crossed to the woman's table, where she was seated with her heavy set husband, enjoying wine and cakes. "Hello, Hystera." She crouched down, and rested her elbows on the table's surface. "What's going on?"

"It's the classes.." The woman warbled at her. "Now that you're back, we can start them again, right?" She leaned over, her ample chest spilling onto the table. "Little Lenos misses them so… he's been practicing his letters since the winter ended."

Gabrielle remained silent for a moment, the looked up. "Yes.. I think we can." She replied honestly. "For now.. anyway.. we haven't really decided what we're going to do just yet."

The woman patted her arm, and clucked. "Honey…you should stay here… what do you want to go roaming out in the wild for? " She leaned closer. "We need you both here." Her eyes shifted. "Horrible things… raiders… I feel so much safer with Xena around.. and look what she did for Hanna?"

The bard smiled a little. "I know… we like it here . and mostly it's not us we go traveling around for, it's other people, who need our help too."

"Sometimes, you just got to look out for yourself, and let the world handle it's own problems for a while, ma'am." The weaver intoned softly, his straight silver shot brown hair falling into his eyes. He pushed it back impatiently. "They'll come knocking soon enough without you looking for them. "

Gabrielle thought about that, and finally laughed gently. "You're right." She stood, and gave them both a nod. "Thanks." It solidified a determination in her mind, and she took a deep breath, before she turned, and headed back to her family.

The stars were vibrant overhead as they finally left the inn. Gabrielle let out a sigh, as they headed across the silent courtyard and threw her head back, shaking her sweat dampened hair off the back of her neck. "Gods.. it was hot in there." She took a deep breath of the sweetly scented breeze. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah." Xena replied, regarding the moonlit path thoughtfully. "I did." She glanced at her soulmate. "You certainly were popular…I thought some of those people were going to split in half laughing over that last one." She hesitated a bit. "Felt good, didn't it?"

"Hmmmmmm…. Yeah." Gabrielle grinned happily. "It really did….I didn't realize how much I missed that until tonight."

They walked along quietly, until they reached the cabin, then Xena steered her towards the porch chair, and sat down, patting the surface next to her. "Want to sit out here for a little while? It's nice."

Gabrielle settled amiably next to her, and leaned back, putting a boot up against the porch railing and clasping her hands around her knee. She turned her head slightly to regard her partner, who was gazing out over the silver hued landscape, and chewing her lip a little. The bard felt a gentle, fond smile edging her lips. "So…" She took a breath. "What's up?"

Blue eyes gone ghostly gray in the moonlight eyed her. "What makes you think something's up?" She inquired softly.

Gabrielle smiled a little. "Because I know you." She replied matter of factly. "How about I start.. ok?" She cleared her throat. "Half the people in town are trying to get me involved in very ongoing projects…I got questioned about classes,.. upcoming treaties, trading agreements, sparring matches, and an offer of permanent employment as the town teacher from Joscyln."

Xena hid a grin. "Well… now.. come to think of it… " She let out a breath. "Me too.. including a very lucrative offer from our friend the reeve to build a horse breeding program, and.. and a request to replace Renas.. who has to go off and take care of his mother, who's ailing."

They looked at each other. "Mom's been busy, huh?" The bard remarked.

"Mm." Xena agreed, then glanced down at her hands. "It's… a strange feeling."

Gabrielle snorted. "What… that people think you're useful?" Her eyebrows shot up. "Getouttahere, Xena…you're kidding me, right?"

The warrior looked up. "No, that they want me to stay." She leaned forward, and rested her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands lightly between them. "And… that I want to." She finished softly, letting the truth trickle through her lips and escape.

The bard let her head drop against her partner's shoulder. "Oh good." She lifted herself up and kissed the faintly spicy smelling skin under her cheek. "Makes my little speech a lot easier." She glanced over and caught Xena's shy look. "What I was going to say to you… is that…I.. I don't know what's going to happen… Xena.. I… know we can't hide from the world." She paused, and considered her words. "And I know trouble is probably always going to come looking for us."

"Is it?" Xena replied quietly.

Gabrielle gave her a look. "It always does." She answered. "But I'd like a chance to build a life here with you.. I don't want to give this opportunity up."

The warrior stood up, and crossed to the railing, gripping the wood in her hands, and leaning on it. "I've been thinking." She finally said, turning and facing Gabrielle, and crossing her arms over her chest. "About taking Josc up on his offer.. both of them, really." She took a breath. "I.. Gabrielle.. I think… " It was harder than she'd ever imagined. "I think it's time I lay down my sword."

The bard sat, stunned for a long moment, then sucked in a deep breath. "Wow." She stood up, and crossed to her soulmate, studying her. "You really mean that, don't you?"

A faint nod. "Yes." Xena enunciated the word carefully. "Trouble comes looking for me.. a lot.. because I am trouble, Gabrielle. Everyone knows it…Dahok knew it… Ares does… the temptation.. of what I am is just too strong." She studied the wooden porch support, and rubbed a finger down it. "So… I.. need to stop being that.. if I want any kind of.. peace." Her eyes found the bard's. "And especially if you're part of my life."

The bard turned and rested her hands on the railing, peering out for a long moment, then gazing back at the warrior. "Xena.. I.. think there'll always be danger out there, and people who.."

"Oh.. well.." The taller woman shrugged lightly. "Yeah… it's not like I'll forget how to fight anytime soon.. I kinda have to keep that up anyway.. " Her lips twitched in a wry smile, and she patted her belly with a rueful look. "I get kinda out of control otherwise." She straightened her shoulders. "But I don’t need to advertise the fact… or be out there looking for trouble… being a target all the time." She let out a breath. "I've really been thinking about this, Gabrielle.. I know it seems kind of crazy, but.."

The bard reached up and put a hand across her mouth. "Shh."

Xena blinked at her. "Whaff?" She mumbled, then fell silent.

Gabrielle waited a moment, then removed her hand, and wrapped her arms around the warrior's neck, pulling her head down and kissing her soundly.

The warrior finally drew her head back, and licked her lips, tasting the last tinge of sweet cider Gabrielle had been drinking. "Guess you think it's a good idea then, huh?" Her eyes held a silent hopefulness.

The bard regarded her seriously. "I do." She hesitated, then went on. "But I'll be honest with you… Xena.. I don't think this whole thing is over… and… I think you.. are the key to eventually ending it."

"Me?" Xena asked softly. "Why?"

But Gabrielle shook her head. "I don't know.. it's just what I think." She moved closer and put a soothing hand on the warrior's arm. "And I also think that settling here is a great idea.. for both of us." She paused. "It's what I really want… but I think you know that already."

Xena smiled gently at her. "I kinda had guessed, yeah." She let out a relieved breath. "Besides.. you..um… " Her hands curled on either side of the bard's head. "You need a nice, stable place to raise kids, huh?"

Yeah. Gabrielle marveled to herself, as she fell into a long, heartfelt hug. It would be different…kinda scary.. because she knew, better than anyone else, just how much of her complicated partner was wrapped up in the violence that had ruled her life for so long. She wasn't even sure it was possible… but if Xena was willing to try it… hey.. who was she to argue? It meant a permanent change in their lives..but one, she mused.. that she thought they were more than ready for. "I think I'm gonna like this a lot." She gazed up at Xena, who smiled back. "Besides.. Granella was pleading with me to stick around.. she hasn't got anyone to spar with otherwise.. she says your brother is hopeless."

The warrior chuckled. "Well.. that's true." She settled an arm around her soulmate's shoulders, and guided her towards the cabin. "You're better than she is, though."

Gabrielle chewed her lip, debating with herself. "Eeehhh… I don’t know if that's true anymore. " She replied quietly. "I've missed my favorite sparring partner a lot." She held her breath, feeling the muscles go tight in the body pressed against hers. She looked up at the still, serious face, and sighed. "But.. I guess I can.. work with Gran…I.."

"Get your staff." Xena said, very quietly, on the tail end of a very long breath.

It was an ethereal sight. The small cleared space in front of their cabin was bathed in silver light and sharp black shadows, as the night bleached all color from the surroundings. Gabrielle gently gripped her familiar staff, her fingers curling and uncurling around it's carved surface. Xena had gotten her own staff from the barn, buried deep under who knew how many layers of hay, and dust, and was now standing across from her, taking short, nervous breaths.

We must be crazy. Gabrielle figured, trying to settle herself down. C'mon, Gabrielle.. it's just Xena, for the sake of the gods…you've been doing this for years."Ok…" She stepped forward and lifted her staff, then took another breath as she realized Xena wasn't going to be the aggressor in this match. It's late… she's probably tired, what in Hades are we doing out here?

But the opportunity… Grimly, she made her move, and felt the tiny shiver of contact as her swing was countered. Another move, another even rebuff, the solid sound of wood hitting wood. The shadows flickered between them, starlight picking out the burnished highlights in Xena's dark hair as the warrior glided forward and countered her parry, but so gently she barely felt it.

So many things in her eyes… Gabrielle felt a quiet anguish. She was doing this because the bard wanted it, but her heart wasn't in it… she seemed almost afraid to use any kind of force in her blows. The bard considered, then squared her shoulders, and swung harder, feeling the solid sting as her staff hit her partner's, and she stepped forward, pushing the warrior back. "Come on, Xena." She said softly. "Either do this, or don’t'."

She felt the sting of the next parry shiver up her arms, and a little chill ran down her spine as her body remembered the strength that was behind those hands now gripping the staff with a little more intensity. "Better." She slammed her staff against Xena's again, trying to force her back, and felt her momentum almost succeed, before she shoved up against a coiled force, that held her still, then gently pushed her away. "That felt a little more familiar." She smiled into Xena's cool, shadowed eyes. "C'mon…. " She swung the staff full force this time, and the solid crack as it hit Xena's traveled up her arms and shoulders.

I can't do this. Xena felt her heart start to pound, as the familiar exercise brought vivid memories of anger, and rage and grief back to her. She saw Gabrielle step forward, and the silvery moonlight blurred on the bard's staff as she aimed a powerful strike at the warrior.

And for the first tine in her adult life, she froze, unable to move, unable to defend herself. The sharp crack that followed was wood against flesh and bone, as a painful blast exploded against her skull, and she dropped to her knees, hearing the faint sound as the staff she had been holding clattered to the ground.

Blinking in confusion, she fought to clear her vision, clouded with dancing sparks, and reached her hand up, barely hearing the soft, choked cry from Gabrielle, who dropped her own staff and grabbed her. What had happened? Her mind tried to cope with it. Her instincts had completely failed… and she felt a sense of panic rising.

"Xena… Xena.." The bard's horrified voice was only a touch above a whisper. "Oh gods… gods.. are you… " Her hands shook as she gently, gently pulled the warrior's hands away from her head, and checked the spot, feeling the warmth under the growing lump. "Oh gods… no… no…."

"It's…" Xena struggled to regain control of herself. "S'allright… I don't know what…I'm ok…" Slowly the pain was receding, and she rubbed her eyes a little. "Sorry… I…" Her vision blurred, and she closed her eyes, waiting a long moment, then opening them again. This time the bard slid into focus, and she let out a relieved breath. "I.. don't think I was ready for that." She told the bard quietly.

Gabrielle released a ragged breath. "I shouldn't have pushed you." She admitted, miserably. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Xena." She added softly. "I was just trying…oh damn."

The warrior studied the silver fair head bowed before her, and reached out a hesitant hand, to touch the shining surface and feel it's silken texture against her fingertips. "Of course you didn't." She burred in a low tone. But Gabrielle's head remained down, and she could feel the anguish traveling through their connection. "Gabrielle…it's all right."

"No it's not." The bard replied, in a tired voice. "One of these days I'll stop fooling myself into thinking that it'll ever be… " She sat down heavily on the ground. "I keep pretending.. and pretending… thinking maybe if I wish hard enough, it'll all just… go back the way it was." She looked up sadly. "I'm sorry."

Xena stared at her for what seemed like a lifetime, then a grim little smile tugged at her lips. "C'mon." The warrior stood, ignoring the ache in her head, and picked up her staff. "Let's try this one more time." I need to get over this. She doesn't need to carry this around with her like everything else, damn it. "Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle shook her head. "No.. Xena.. come on. I'm tired."

An eyebrow cocked determinedly. "Please?"

"Xena." The bard sighed. "I know what you're trying to do… just… let's forget it, ok?" Silence. "Xena?" More silence. She looked up, to see her partner waiting quietly, her hands wrapped around her staff, leaning on it. "Centaur farts." Gabrielle cursed softly, and got to her feet, lifting her staff up.

To have it taken neatly from her hands in a motion so swift she didn't even see it. The sting rattled her nerves and she yelped in surprise. "Hey!" She scooped the staff up from the ground, and squared her shoulders, then took a tentative swipe at the silent warrior, who parried it neatly, and sent her staff flying again.

Gabrielle sighed, but her heart lightened. "All right.. I get the picture." She retrieved her staff again, and this time put her whole effort into the attack, at last feeling the sudden familiarity in her bones as the blows struck against a powerful strength she knew, and they fell into a comfortable rhythm.

Stroke and counterstroke, lunge and parry, the bard felt her breath growing short, and she bore down with determination, as their pace picked up, and they worked through a long series of moves that ended up with both of them leaning into each other, staves straining .

Their eyes met, chests heaving with effort. "Gabrielle… " Xena told her quietly. "You just keep wishing, and I'll do my best to make em come true." She hesitated, and gave the bard a tiny, wistful smile. "All right?"

Gabrielle felt tears sting her eyes, and she leaned forward, kissing the warrior gently. "How could I turn down an offer like that?" She let her staff drop its end to the ground, and moved closer to Xena, hugging her tightly. "My hero."

They stayed that way in the silvery shadows, listening to the gentle hoots of curious owls for a long time, then Gabrielle sniffled a little, and released her soulmate. "Come on.. let me get some cold water on your head." She tucked her hand around the warrior's elbow, and headed for the cabin.

"Damn it." Cyrene cursed, as she padded around the kitchen. "Where is that cinnamon?" One problem with sharing a kitchen, she mused, your stuff got moved. She hated that. But Eustase was worth it.. the woman was undeniably an excellent cook.. it's just that she tended to… ah. Cyrene stopped, with her hands on her hips, her eyes fastened on a point well over her head. "Bacchus' blue balls… what in Hades is it doing up there?"

Shaking her head, she looked around for something to stand on, turning as she heard the door open. "Ah. .. perfect."

Xena's eyebrows rose. "Not hardly." She muttered, moving into the room and letting the door shut after her. "Morning."

The innkeeper padded over, and took her arm. "Perfect for my needs right at the moment… c'mere.." She tugged the warrior over and pointed up. "Can you get that, please?"

Her daughter let a smile edge onto her face, and reached up, snagging the requested jar and bringing it down off the shelf near the fireplace. "Here." She started to hand it to Cyrene, when the innkeeper pushed her arm aside and moved closer, lifting a hand up to the warrior's temple. She sighed inwardly at her mother's indrawn breath.

"Xena, what happened?" Cyrene asked, very gently touching the bruised lump. "You didn't have this last night."

Truth? "I fell." The warrior ventured. "No big deal."

Her mother steered her over to the worktable and pushed her down onto the bench, concern very evident in her face. "You fell? Xena… that's not like you." She probed the injury. "I think we need to send upriver and get a good healer to take a look at you… after that fever, and you've been so tired…I'm very worried… I'll ask Johan to go after breakfast."

Xena's lips twitched. "All right.. all right.. I didn't fall." She let out a sigh. "Gabrielle and I were sparring, and I forgot to duck."

Silence. "Why didn't you just say that to begin with?" Cyrene studied her curiously.

An eyebrow quirked. "'I fell..' sounded better than, 'Gabrielle hit me with a big stick'?" She replied wryly. "Anyway..it knocked some sense into me, so…" And it had., she realized… that and Gabrielle's desperate need to return to a kind of normality that she had simply forced herself to respond to. The blow had shocked her into getting herself together, and taking charge of her wounded conscience, realizing that her fear of hurting her partner was hurting her anyway.

After that, the sparring had felt… good, and she'd even playfully carved a tiny notch in the bard's staff after they changed and were relaxing in the cabin, to mark the occasion. That had finally dragged a grin onto her partner's face. She handed her mother the spice jar. "Here you go."

 "Thanks." The innkeeper took the jar, and juggled it a little, then set it down near the fireplace and returned to the table, slipping into a seat and studying her daughter somberly. Aside from the bump the taller woman looked much better than she had three days previously, and there was a normal sharpness to her eyes and movement that reassured the innkeeper. "Why were you two sparring in the middle of the night?" She pulled over a basket of fresh honey covered buns and handed one to the warrior.

 Xena took a bite and chewed it, swallowing thoughtfully before she answered. "It…" She studied the roll, and nibbled a walnut off the top. "We've had to work a lot of things out… some things took longer than others." She explained, slowly. "It's kind of complicated."

What an understatement. Cyrene sighed. "I know, honey…I know… you both got hurt very badly." She gave her daughter an encouraging smile. "I'm glad things are getting resolved, though." She paused. "They are, aren't they?"

The warrior smiled, and popped the rest of the muffin in her mouth. "Mmhmm." She nodded, letting a little of her relief show on her face. "Been a long road… but somehow…" A long breath released. "Somehow."

Cyrene patted her hand. "So… " Her lips quirked. "What are your plans now?" She carefully put an innocent tone in the question.

Xena gave her a fond look. "Funny you should ask that." She reached over and swiped another roll. "Amazing, the number of helpful offers we've both been getting here the past few days."

Cyrene took a determined breath. "Well, they're all legitimate, Xena… and you both could use the stability, you know that. Besides, I’m getting on here.. I have to start thinking about turning over the running of this place to someone, and you three are the only children I have, and you know.."

"We're staying." Xena stated quietly.

"Xena, you really have to start thinking about settling down… all this traveling.. I know you're trying to be out there helping people, but…. " Long pause. "What?"

The blue eyes dropped to the table, then rose back up to meet hers. "We're staying.. here."

Cyrene let her hand fall onto the table, and let out a surprised, and somewhat rueful chuckle. "Damn it, Xena.. I've been practicing this speech for three days." She shook her head, and let herself absorb the news. "So of course you don't let me use it." She paused, watching the still face. "You said your priorities had changed."

Xena nibbled on her muffin. "They have." She replied quietly. "I figured out that all the times I don't want to do something because something might happen… well… it happens anyway." She swallowed. "Staying out of Solon's life… keeping Gabrielle at a distance…staying away from here.. " Her eyes went distant. "I might as well take a chance at being happy, and just deal with the problems when they come up."

The innkeeper let out a soft sigh, and stood, walking around to her daughter's side and putting her arms around the broad shoulders. "Oh honey." She felt Xena give in as she pulled the dark head against her chest, and stroked her hair gently. How long had it been since she'd been allowed to do this? Since Xena had let her defenses down this far.. gods… had it been almost fifteen years? Cyrene could hardly believe it. "That's a hard lesson to learn."

Xena straightened up, and gave her a quietly resigned smile. "Yeah… I know…" She blew out a long breath. "We don't know how it's going to work out.. or… but we're gonna try it."

She'd had a lot of time to think about that between last night and this morning… laying there quietly in the dark, with Gabrielle's gentle breath warming her skin, soaking in the wonderful closeness and feeling it heal the raw spots that were still inside her. She'd finally dozed off sometime before dawn, waking up to the fantastically ticklish sensation of her partner nuzzling her bare skin, and as she'd glanced down in mock outrage as the green eyes glinted up into hers, they both realized at the same time that things…

Had somehow, without them being really aware of it, eased back into a more familiar pattern that while recognizing the horrors they'd been through, did not allow that knowledge to settle between them. It felt wonderful, and she'd left the bard updating her diary with the promise of returning with breakfast for both of them.

"Well, if anyone can do it, you two can." Cyrene ruffled her hair. "Speaking of which, where is Gabrielle this morning?"

Xena leaned back and sighed contentedly. "Doing bard stuff." She gave her mother a look. "Actually.. I was um.. " She reached over and snatched the basket of sweet rolls, and winked. "That'll work."

Her mother shook her head. "Oh no… " She snatched the basket back. "You'll both get sick if you eat all of these, and I know you… that's exactly what you'll do." She went over to the supply shelves and started putting together an assortment of things. "Silly child."

Xena sat patiently, her fingers idly playing with the cinnamon bottle as she waited, and felt a weight lift off her shoulders making her feel almost giddy. Silly child… was a time I'd have broken anyone's arm that called me that. She mused with an inward grin. "Gabrielle really likes it here."

Cyrene glanced over her shoulder. "Yes.. I know.. and everyone here really likes her." She tucked a square of linen around the basket's contents, and brought it back over, setting it down in front of Xena. "She's not thinking of.." Then she stopped herself, considering how hurtful the question might be. "Um… so, what plans do you have for today? I know the kids are dying for some staff lessons this afternoon."

The warrior stood, and hooked the basket handle over one wrist. "We're just playing it by ear today.. " She lifted the basket and walked to the door, then stopped, one hand on the frame. "And mother?"

Cyrene looked up. "Hmm?"

A smile answered her. "Yes, she is."

"Ares, move your tail." Gabrielle gave the wolf a little nudge, as she seated herself on the porch, taking in a deep breath of the warm morning air. "Mmm… " She closed her eyes, and let a sense of peace roll over her, as she drew her legs up under her on the padded seat and set her diary down on her lap. "You think mommy will bring back something nice?"

"Roo." Ares hopped up onto the bench next to her, and curled up, his tail and paws hanging off the surface, and his muzzle resting on her thigh. "Grrrrr…"

"Yeah…" The bard scrubbed his head with her fingers, then opened her diary and chewed on her quill.

We've pretty much come full circle, I guess.. we're home, and it looks like we're going to stay here. It's been a really, really long fortnight.. I can hardly believe it's only that since I was sitting around a campfire hurting so bad it felt like my guts were being ripped out.

Are things the same? No. Will they ever be? Probably not. But we're at a point where we can start moving forward again, and not be constantly worried about the past. You know, I woke up this morning, and just started playing around with her and didn't even remember, for a few minutes, why that was a strange thing.

It felt great. I have a feeling that a few months of this is going to do wonders for both of us.

We've still got a lot of things to work out.. what happened last night really, really scared me. I hit her.. what would I have done if I'd really hurt her badly? I know it was worse than she's making out, though as usual, she tried to make me feel better by joking about it, and cutting a notch in my staff. That's my Xena.

Yeah. I feel differently about her now, I figured out. I’m less in awe.. I don't expect her to find answers for me.. and I'm not going to blindly follow where she leads ever again. On the other hand, I have a deeper understanding of her.. I'm not going to take her for granted anymore, and in a lot of ways what I feel for her has deepened to a new level, one that's based on respect, and understanding, and not just this kind of unthinking devotion.

Ok.. so there's some of that still, too. There's this big part of me that just wants to believe in her, and not.. um.. temper that with any kind of logic or anything. It kind of makes me sad that I can't give in to that now, that I have to be an adult, and make my own decisions, and not depend on her to make them for me. I’m not a kid anymore, and while I know that's part of growing up, and in many ways I welcome it, there is still that part of me that really liked knowing I could depend on her for anything.

Now I can't. She has flaws and weak spots, just like I do, and sometimes I realize that in a lot of ways I protect her, and she depends on me, because I’m the only one she'll let that close. It's scary, but I think in the long run, it's going to be ok. But sometimes I catch her looking at me, with that really sad, kind of lost look.. and I know she's hurting.

Footsteps drew her attention, and she glanced up to see Granella loping past. The Amazon halted on spotting her, and changed her course to end up on the wooden porch, where she collapsed on the ground in loose limbed abandon. "Hey."

"Hey." Gabrielle answered, chewing her quill industriously. "Where'r you coming from?"

"Just shaking the cobwebs out." Granella sighed, leaning back and wrapping her arms around her knees. "Gotta run before the sun comes up this time of the year or it gets too damn hot." She studied the bard's relaxed form. "How's it going?"

Gabrielle felt a momentary irritation at the question, but she sighed, and put a smile on her face. "Great." She assured the Amazon quietly. "How about with you?" She regarded the slim dark haired woman. "Different from what you're used to, huh?"

Granella waved a hand. "Gods yes." She shook her head. "I never… thought I'd end up…" Her eyes flicked around the sun drenched courtyard. "I mean, I was born in the Amazon village, Gabrielle." She sighed. "It's different… but I like it."

The bard smiled. " Me too." She nibbled on her quill. "It's going to be nice to settle down here."

The dark head came up, and watched her alertly. "Are you?"

Gabrielle nodded soberly. "Yep." She closed her diary, and stretched. "We are."

Granella grinned. "Best news I've had in a week… that's awesome, Gabrielle." Then she sobered, and glanced around. "Um… reminds me… I.. Toris spoke to me about a conversation you two had before you left."

The bard studied her carefully. "Ah." Complications… I hadn't thought about…ugh. "I um…" She felt a blush coming on.

The Amazon leaned forward and put a hand on her knee. "Relax…I'm cool." She muffled a grin. "It's… unique.. I gotta give you that, Gabrielle.. but I understand.. um… I.. well, I understand, that's all." She paused. "He's really cute about it too… he takes that obligation very, very seriously."

Gabrielle grinned. "Um… good.. that's good. Because that's.. been on my mind a lot lately."

The Amazon twisted her fingers together. "Yeah.. me too." She looked up at Gabrielle honestly. "I just don't know how good a mother I'd be… I haven't known anything except for fighting all my life." She sighed. "The thought of it.. scares me."

The bard reached out and ruffled her hair gently. "You'll do fine." She reassured her. "Who knows.. maybe we'll go through it together." That would be kind of nice.. she luxuriated in imagining it, and having the freedom to do so. "We could help each other."

Granella gave her a shy look. "All right." She smiled at the gently radiant gleam in the bard's eyes, then cocked her head as Gabrielle straightened a little, and let a grin slide onto her face, long moments before Ares' head popped up, and his tail wagged furiously.

"Roo!" He scrambled off the bench, and hurdled down the stairs, loping across the courtyard towards a tall form striding towards them out of the sun. As they watched, Xena stopped at a passing villager's hail, and waited for the man to catch up with her. He handed the warrior a packet, then trotted off, waving a hand as he left.

The warrior continued on towards them, mounting the steps with Ares at her heels. "Morning." She gave Granella a friendly nod, as she handed her partner the basket she was carrying, and dropped into the nearby chair. "Trader just came in.. had some messages for us." She held up the packet, then propped it against her leg as she untied the string holding it shut.

"Mm." Gabrielle spared her a glance, busy with breakfast. "Here." She handed Granella a muffin and took another one, breaking it in half and putting one part between her teeth, then reaching over and offering the other half to Xena. "Open up."

The warrior absently dropped her jaw, and accepted the muffin, chewing as she read. "Mph." She swallowed hastily. "Gods.. we're aunts again." Then her chewing stopped, and she blinked. "Triplets?"

Gabrielle scrambled over, and hung onto her shoulder, reading furiously. "TRIPLETS??" Her voice cracked. "Wow…" She looked down at an interested Granella. "Remember our friend Jessan?"

The Amazon's eyes widened. "HE had triplets??? Whoa…"

Xena booted her lightly. "His lifebond.. Elaini did." She read on. "Damn… I bet they're cute looking babies."

"Oooooo… " Gabrielle warbled. "All fuzzy and tiny… Xena, I want to see them." She tugged on her soulmate's shirt. "Can we?" She scanned the letter. "Oh.. Xena… they named two of them after us."

"Mmhmm." The warrior agreed. "So I guess we have to go see them, huh?" She slid an arm around her partner. "You wanted to see Lila and her addition too.. we could get them both in one trip."

"Yeah." Gabrielle settled against her, pulling some stuffed waybread out of the basket and munching on it. "Works for me." She paused. "But.. triplets… " She exchanged glances with Xena and Granella. "Ow."

"Yeah… Ow is right." Granella yawned, then stood. "Well, I'm off to go drag your brother out of bed… that would, of course be the only habit you two didn't share." She gave them both a wave, and headed across the courtyard, whistling lightly.

Gabrielle laughed, and leaned against her partner's warm side, soaking in the day's rich warmth, and the promise of long stretches of time to be spent with the tall, dark haired woman seated beside her. "You tell mom we were staying?" She glanced up at Xena's profile.

The warrior nodded, and rested her head against the bard's. "Yep."

"Xena?" Gabrielle gazed out at the courtyard, which was beginning to bustle with daytime activity.

"Hmm?" Her soulmate answered, stretching her legs out and crossing them at the ankles.

"We're home." Came the very quiet, content statement.

Xena wrapped both arms around her partner, and let out a relieved sigh. "At last."

The End