TEMPUS FUGIT

by MAVIS APPLEWATER

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DISCLAIMERS: the story and characters are the sole possession of the author and may not be reproduced, posted or sold without the author’s permission. So there! If for any reason, real or imagined, you are uncomfortable with or do not wish to read a story containing graphic descriptions of two consenting adult women in a loving and sexual relationship, do not read this story or anything else I have ever written. If for any reason it is illegal for you to view this material, go away and do not return until it is no longer a crime.

A very special thank you goes out to my beta reader, Mary.

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As always this is for Heather.

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TEMPUS FUGIT

PART ONE

THE SUMMER OF 1956

It was the summer of 1956, Rock and Roll was in its infancy, Bill Haley and the Comets along with Elvis topped the charts, Ike was president and my world was a blast. How could it not be since my world consisted of a fifty mile radius that stretched from one end of the town line to the other? The following summer I would be agitating the gravel and blowing out of town. The freedom of college had been my dream since I could walk. Fine I’m exaggerating. My first thoughts of college came from the kernel my parents had planted in my infancy which steadily grew. Now how’s that for a flowery way to say, Mom and Dad wanted me to get a good education so I could support them in their old age?

When I grew older leaving my little home town truly was my dream. I was already vying for a spot in the college of my choice which was, of course, Smith. There I would get a good education without the distraction of boys plus it was close to home, but just far enough away that I could truly be on my own. First I had to survive one more year of drive-in movies, sock hops, home work, college entrance exams, curfews and playing the games that ruled my world. Still this was the next to last summer the whole gang would be together and we had vowed to make each day remarkable.

The excitement of summer started the last day of classes. We were filled with fire while we planned on doing everything that we had always bragged we would do. We kicked off summer the next morning heading straight to the lake in the Carlisle woods. Lounging by the shore our biggest source of entertainment came from gossiping about the past year and who was snuggling with whom. It wasn’t unusual for new romances to blossom during the summer months. It was all part of our lives.

I was enjoying the beginning of summer with my friends, my on again off again boyfriend Dirk, and making plans for the rest of the summer and fall when school and, more importantly, cheerleading began. That’s right. I was a paper shaker and proud of it. Senior year was going to be a blast and the summer that proceeded it would be the first of many last hurrahs. I couldn’t wait for senior year when we would rule the school.

The really boss thing about senior cheerleading is you can torture the freshman who are trying out for the squad. Normally freshman didn’t make the squad and had to settle for Junior Varsity. There were rare occasions when a freshman made the Varsity squad. Margie and I had both done it. We were really frosted last year when the newest members of the squad were two transfer students. They were juniors just like me which meant only the seniors got to razz them. Ah yes, the Swenson twins; they were tall, blonde, gorgeous, bright, rich and, not to mention, stacked. Most of the girls in town hated them and all of the boys fell over themselves trying to get close to them.

Last fall we thought Linda Crawler might be another freshman to break the mold and hit the Varsity Squad along with Colleen Bottoms who was a sophomore and had been a killer the year before cheering for the JV squad. Then the Swenson twins walked into the tryouts and no one felt certain that their spot was safe. The twins kicked Linda and Colleen to the curb with their smooth moves and amazing good looks. Colleen was a wet rag after she found out that, once again, she had to fight for a spot on the JV squad. Since both Ginny and Laurie were fellow pom-pom wavers the cheering squad stuck by them. They fit right in with our little social circle. The only trouble was telling them apart.

I thought, at times, I could sense there was a hint of edginess to Laurie’s personality that clearly wasn’t evident in her identical twin. Then again there were times when I could have sworn that it was Ginny in my math class and not Laurie who was the one scheduled to be there. Other times I could have sworn that Laurie was sitting in on my Home Ec class instead of Ginny. Early in the fall of that year I discovered that I was one of the few people on the planet who really could tell one from the other. I discovered in the most unusual way how to really distinguish the two

Things were set in motion that first day of summer. I was clueless that my life was about to change leading me down a road I never envisioned. The day in itself mirrored so many other days of my teenage life. We went swimming, tubing and swung on the old rope hanging from a tree. The guys showed off their muscles each trying to swing further than anyone else before diving into the cold water. Some of the girls, including myself, swung on the rope as well. Mostly we sat on the shore cooing and applauding when the boys flexed their muscles. It was what was expected of us and we happily played our roles until it was time to clear out. Then we went home and ate dinner with our families before getting all dolled up and heading back out for more fun.

The gang which consisted of the cheerleading squad and their football playing boyfriends, had gathered that night at the local burger joint. Buddy Burgers was the hot spot in our little town. We had taken over the booths in front with huge windows that over looked the drive in. Banishing the nerds to the back where the families and kiddies sat. We wanted to see who was eating outside with whom. I remember thinking as I watched the poor girls rolling around on roller skates while they tried to cater to the rowdy teenagers; that you couldn’t pay me enough to take a job like that.

Me, I worked part time in a tiny bookstore where I could lose myself in the classics or books that normally I shouldn’t be allowed to read due to my tender young age. Banning books was a biggie back then. You’d be surprised what wasn’t allowed to be sold. Many of the titles are now considered to be classics. Some of the titles that were banned in Boston were, Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath, Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass, Joyce’s Ulysses, Sinclair Lewis’ Elmer Gantry, Huie’s The Execution of Private Slovik, Caldwell’s Gods Little Acre and of course Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer. The list goes on even The Scarlet Letter was on the hit list for a long time. I read them all and with most of them I failed to understand why they had been banned. Now my boss did cross the line keeping the steamier titles hidden in the back. I think that was the true secret to his success. My boss would look the other way when I would purchase or order a title that was considered taboo. He believed in the written word and that censorship was not what our founding fathers had in mind. Since I was old enough to drive he felt I should be able to decide what I wanted to read. He was big on broadening ones’ horizons.

That night broadening my horizons was the furthest thing on my mind. That night I acted like every other teenaged girl in town pumping quarters in the jukebox while scoping out the scene and, of course, the constant trips to the ladies room to fix my make up and gossip with the other girls.

Hey we were the cool kids who never parked outside to eat unless someone had scored a bottle or we had a date and wanted privacy. Our place was the booth where we could hog the jukebox and get most of our food for free thanks to Stewie, our wide receiver. Stewie’s gig was busing tables for his dad who was none other than Buddy, the cranky fry cook who owned the joint.

Poor Stewie got a lot of flack from his old man every time we invaded Buddy’s. Still he got away with it because we were the good kids in town and Stewie was one of the stars of the team. The other shining star was our quarterback who was absent that night. Bobby Walford was a dream boat who was looking at a full ride to LSU next year if he kept his game and his grades up. It was no secret that most of the girls on the squad would happily trade in their steady for Bobby just like it was no secret that the boys would do the same for a shot at one or both of the Swenson twins. The guys were always boasting that you got bonus points for twins. Like all the other girls I’d just roll my eyes when they started yammering like morons.

The topics of conversation were limited to did everyone see how closely Ginny and Bobby were all day, how we were going to fit in as much fun as possible and keep our jobs, and of course there was the upcoming release of Giant. It was the late great James Dean’s last movie and we just had to see it. Well all the girls wanted to see. I think the guys did too, but they were way too cool to admit it.

I was there with my boyfriend Dirk who wasn’t nicknamed the Groper for nothing. The night was coming to an end and I had just about enough of Dirk pawing me. I was dreading the ride home knowing that he would try to make a stop a Mill Hill the local make out spot. Suddenly a miracle landed at my feet. Brent who was Laurie’s latest steady was grounded because he managed to fail English, and had to go to summer school. He needed to hit the bricks before his parents discovered he had snuck out.

For the life of me I didn’t understand why he was risking getting caught on our first night of freedom. And just how do you fail Basic English and keep your spot on the team? It was no secret that if he flunked during the summer he’d be off the team. If that happened there wasn’t a snow ball’s chance in Hell he’d be able to keep Laurie on his arm. When Laurie suggested that Dirk, who lived close to Brent’s house, drive him home and she could give me a lift, I was granted a reprieve from my hands on beau. I also suspected that Laurie and Brent would be history before the first big party of the summer.

Needless to say Dirk didn’t like the idea of leaving with Brent instead of me one bit. Then Lauren flashed him one of her dazzling smiles and that was that. I didn’t care that she was flirting with my boyfriend. Hell I was on cloud nine. I could have jumped up and kissed her. Something did catch my eye that looking back should have been my first clue that all was not as it appeared to be. Both Brent and Ginny were eyeballing us with grim expressions. I understood why Brent was spazzing, but for the life of me I didn’t get why Ginny seemed upset.

I didn’t stop to think about it I just merrily bounced over to Laurie’s brand new Chevy Bel Air and climbed in. Laurie and Ginny had matching red and white convertibles and let me tell you those cars were boss. In fact the matching convertibles were nicknamed the Cherry Mobiles because they were the hottest wheels in town and, of course there was the classy chassis sitting in the driver’s seat.

Everyone waved goodbye and we cut out. Now when Laurie suggested making a side trip to the Carlisle woods which was nestled just below Mill Hill because she had scored a bottle of rum and wanted to have a little fun I thought it was a killer idea. Granted if my boyfriend had proposed such a grody request I would have offered him a knuckle sandwich. This was Laurie Swenson who along with her twin had jumped from lowly transfer students to the queens of Buchanan High in record time.

‘Fun with rum! Yeah this was something I wanted to try.’ I went ape over the idea.

“Now this is a party,” she blew out happily lighting a cigarette while I took another swig of rum. “Nothing against Buddy Burgers.”

“I take it Cedar Hills is smaller than back home?” I questioned handing her the bottle before leaning against the comfortable seats.

“There is no back home,” she laughed. “Man we’ve moved so many times over the last couple of years you’d think we were a pack of nomads.”

“Oh twenty cent word bonus points,” I snickered snatching the cigarette from her hand and taking a drag.

“Thief,” she scolded me while screwing the cap back onto the bottle. “Speaking of bonus points.”

“Huh?” I slurred trying to roll down the window so I could toss the remains of the cigarette.

“Not getting drunk on me are you?” She purred in an odd tone leaning over and snatching the cigarette back. “We can use the ashtray. The folks never touch our wheels.”

“Okey Dokey,” I sighed wondering why she was all fuzzy. ‘Great the first night of summer vacation and I’m cruising to get grounded already. But I’m having fun.’ My mind giddily surmised.

“You are drunk,” she sounded satisfied as she slipped closer to me.

“No.” I lied leaning a little closer. I felt warm and tingly and curious as to why Laurie was removing my sweater.

“You wanna have some real fun?” She whispered hotly in my ear.

Now this was unusual! I have no idea how we ended up sitting so closely together. Or why she was nuzzling my neck not to mention tugging my blouse out of my poodle skirt. Yes a poodle skirt; it was 1956 and that is what I wore along with Bobby socks and saddle shoes. Get over it. I do remember thinking that I must have really been hammered because I could have sworn that she was nibbling on my earlobe and groping me. I also remember thinking that if I were in this very same situation with a guy this would be the moment that I would either knee him where it counted or we would start making out. Oddly enough that is just what happened. Not kneeing her, the making out part.

She kissed me, and it wasn’t a shy peck or an innocent gesture between friends either. Nope. Laurie went straight for the gold and stuck her tongue in my mouth. I would have pushed her away and said no but it felt so damn good. So I did the only thing I was capable of doing at that moment; I kissed her back.

She wrapped her tongue around mine and I just melted into her body. Her hands seemed to be everywhere as we kissed one another senseless. She had managed to unbutton my blouse and one of her hands landed half way up my bra when I began to question what was happening. “Laurie.” I gasped since normally at this juncture I would jump ship leaving my escort high and dry.

“Tell me what you want Babe?” She whispered hotly in my ear.

‘Oh my God!’ I silently groaned. There was just something about the way she said those words that sent a shiver down my spine. So instead of stopping her I captured her soft lips in a searing kiss and let her unhook my bra. Laurie wasted no time while I was happily exploring the warmth of her mouth; she was massaging my breasts. Laurie knew just how to touch me. She cupped my breasts feeling them completely before she began to tease my nipples. I was delirious which could be the only explanation for allowing another girl to pinch and tease my nipples until my entire body was aching with desire.

“Come on Babe let’s play,” she pleaded while her tongue traced the swell of my breasts. “Tell me what you want.” She repeated her voice once again sending a delightful shiver through my body.

There was something about the way she was pleading that was so different than the way a guy would beg. I tried pressing my thighs together in an effort to ebb the constant throbbing that was clouding my senses. “Let’s play?” She pleaded again her hand slipping down the front of my body. I couldn’t stop myself my body pressed closer. Laurie murmured with pleasure; her lips once again finding my sensitive earlobe and her hand slipping between my thighs.

Normally I would have snapped my legs shut, instead I parted them allowing her to further explore my body. “Come on Babe,” she pleaded once again moaning deeply as she spoke. I tried to speak but the words failed to come. She pressed the heel of her hand against my mound and my body jerked forward eager to greet her touch.

“Why don’t we climb into the backseat,” she murmured softly grinding her hand against me.

“I don’t … I don’t,” I stammered parting my thighs even further.

“You want some more rum?” She tried to sway me.

“No.” I whimpered thrusting harder against her hand.

“You’re so wet,” she cooed teasing me harder. “Come on it will be more fun in the backseat.”

I opened my mouth to refuse, but again words failed me. I could feel all of the blood in my body rushing in a southerly direction while she continued teasing me. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think, and for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why I was allowing her to guide me over the seats. Still there I was lying on the backseat with my skirt hiked up and my breasts hanging out. Laurie was hovering above me offering me more alcohol. This time I accepted, but not with words. I simply took the bottle from her grasp and took a healthy swig.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought if I was drunk that would explain everything. It felt so good to have her breath caressing my nipples while she rolled my panties down my thighs. For the first time in my life I wasn’t just excited the passion was dripping from my body. I laced my fingers in her long, blonde hair pressing my nipple against her lips. She suckled my nipple urgently and I felt her fingers gliding along my swollen nether lips.

I released a loud groan when she pulled away snaring the bottle. I gazed up at her pondering if Laurie was just as hot naked as she was fully clothed? A strange and troubling thought that for some mystical reason held me captive. I barely noticed her sipping more rum before offering the bottle back to me. I shook my head no. She shrugged capping the bottle placing it on the floor of the car. She captured my hand and guided it up and under her skirt. I inhaled sharply when she guided my fingers inside her panties.

“Oh yeah,” she groaned with delight rocking her hips against my fumbling touch. “You’re so hot,” she whispered her touch returning to my wetness.

She was straddling my body guiding my fingers deeper inside of her. I could feel her wetness painting my fingers. “Oh Babe,” she groaned coaxing me to further explore her. “Come on Babe,” she urged pressing her fingers against my center. “Let’s go for those extra points.”

“No wait!” I yelped jerking away from her.

“Oh come on.” She had the bad manners to whine. “What’s the prob, Babe?”

“This has gone too far,” I sputtered climbing further away while trying to adjust my clothing. I might be able to explain the kissing by blaming the rum. No way I could explain the wanton fondling we were sharing. None of my boyfriends had ever gotten this far. Not from a lack of trying mind you. So why was Laurie so determined to round the bases in record time?

“Don’t you want to?” She purred wrapping her arms around my waist and nuzzling my neck. “Have another drink? It will loosen you up.” She encouraged her hands slipping up to my breasts.

“I can’t believe you just said that!” I shouted shoving her away from me. “Geez Louise that is something a guy would say!” I shouted while I jumped out of the car.

“But Babe,” she purred following after me.

“Are you calling me that because you can’t remember my name?” I sputtered wondering if it was the truth. I was also thinking that I used to consider Laurie attractive. There was something about her that night that made her look anything but attractive.

“Uhm no,” she quickly denied a little too quickly for my tastes. “Hey look I thought we were having fun.” She added brushing a strand of hair from my cheek. Then she looked deeply into my eyes. “Why don’t we just go back to having fun? No one has to know.”

I had heard rumors that Laurie was fast, but hitting on another chick was way out there. Then again I didn’t spaz until she called me Babe one too many times. Maybe this was nothing more than a kick? It was the look in her eyes that finalized it for me. She was full of it and this was nothing more than a game to her. Call me an up tight stick in the mud, but giving up my virginity for a couple snorts of rum wasn’t going to happen.

“I said no,” I huffed folding my arms across my chest. “I can walk from here.”

“Fine,” she snarled. “But I can drive. I can’t believe that you’d do it with Dirk the jerk and give me the brush off.”

“For the record the Groper is a lying dog,” I snarled thoroughly disgusted by her attitude. “I shot him down; only with him my aim was better.”

She stomped to the other side of the car and waited for me to get in. I cursed under my breath before joining her. The short drive home was torture. Laurie kept touching me and trying to convince me to go back to the woods. I sat there silently fuming. “Well I wouldn’t have pegged you to act like a goof over a little fun, Babe.” She had the bad manners to say and adding that last Babe was a huge mistake.

“Cut the gas Laurie!” I finally shouted stunned when her hand landed on my thigh. I jerked her hand away. Now I was really frosted. “Let me make this perfectly clear. I ain’t giving it up for a little rum. So just keep your grody paws to yourself and drive me home.”

“Fine,” she finally gave in just before she pulled into my driveway. “Just don’t tell anyone about this. We don’t want anyone to think we’re a couple of lesbos.”

“Trust me Laurie my lips are sealed,” I promised mystified by her logic. I know I hadn’t imagined that she just tried to get into my pants. I certainly wasn’t going to tell anyone I made out with another girl. She had to know that it would be the mark of death in our little social circle. So why was she more worried about her rep than the fact the word no had suddenly vanished from her vocabulary?

“Kookie.” She shrugged before peeling rubber.

“Now who was that?” My father questioned when I stormed into the house. “Not that Dirk idiot again?”

“No Dad,” I sighed. “Laurie Swenson gave me a lift. She had to dash. She was worried about making her curfew.” Hey I had to lie. What could I tell him, my virtue would have been safer with a guy we called Groper? Then there was the little matter of me standing in front of my over protective father reeking of booze and being late which I knew I was going to get flack over.

The following morning I felt like hell the effects of a late night and cheap hooch leaving me feeling tired. The constant pounding in my head was no picnic either. I showered and dressed in a hurry sneaking out to get to work before my mother could grill me. Thankfully the store was quiet that day and I could rest my weary head on the counter. I jumped out of my skin when the bell chimed and I saw her walking in.

When she flashed me a warm smile and apologized for disturbing my nap I blew out a sigh of relief. It had to be Ginny who had an easy going demeanor and would apologize if she bumped into a chair. Laurie, on the other hand, would more than likely set the chair on fire. Suddenly I broke out in a cold sweat. Ginny was Laurie’s sister. What if she knew? I had enough to deal with. My willingness to allow Laurie to get as far as she did last night was confusing the bejesus out of me. Now I was suddenly trapped in the store with the one person Laurie would reveal our secret to. I stood behind the counter panicking as she browsed the new books. I wanted to the floor to open up and swallow me whole. If Ginny knew what would she think of me?

I just about fainted on the spot when she strolled up to the counter. I was sweating like a pig, my hands were clammy and I just wanted to die. Better still roll back the clock and not accept that ride from Laurie. My hands were shaking when I took the book she had selected and rang it up. Normally I’d chat about her selection. That day I just wanted her to go away. “So did you have fun last night?” She questioned. Her voice sounded so odd, almost hurt, when she spoke.

“Uhm it was interesting.” I stammered unable to look at her. Instead I just took her money and shoved the book into a bag. I hoped that by shoving her purchase at her it would make Ginny go away. It didn’t and when I glanced up she was still standing there, and I was trapped in a nightmare. Standing before me was a mirror image of the person who had treated me like I was some kind of Jezebel. Worse still she must have known that I let it happen. I swallowed hard; my mind questioning if Laurie had told her the truth about things. Did she tell Ginny that it was she that started things and I put a stop to it? Or did she just gloss over the minor details skipping ahead to the part when my hand ended up between her thighs?

“The first day of summer is always a trip,” Ginny shrugged tucking her purchase in her purse.

“Huh? Uhm yeah,” I gulped. ‘She doesn’t know!’ I was ready to break out my pom-poms and do a victory cheer. Then something occurred to me. “Hey?” I blushed suddenly realizing what book I had rung up. When I was having my panic attack dear sweet Ginny must have ducked into the backroom. It wasn’t really a room, more of a closet where titles that for some reason or another had been denounced were kept. Even though Mr. Dyer cut me some slack the broom closet was off limits to anyone under twenty-one. “Forever Amber? No, no, no.” I tsked. “I’m not supposed to let you see that one much less sell it to you.”

“I’m sorry,” she instantly apologized offering the package back to me. “I don’t want to get you into trouble.”

“Ah forget it,” I waved it off. “Just don’t squeal on me. I never got why we have to hide so many books. Up until about ten years ago Huck Finn was back there.”

“Huck Finn?” Ginny gaped over at me. “Why?”

“Who knows?” I shrugged. “Just enjoy the book. I did.”

“You read it?” She flashed me a brilliant smile that made me weak in the knees. “My you are a naughty girl.”

“Uhm,” I choked a flash of heat surging through my body. My face turned a deep shade of scarlet and suddenly I was embarrassed by the way my body was reacting to her husky timber. My eyes darted about. I stood there looking like a moron fully aware that she was staring at me.

“So what are you doing later?” She innocently inquired. She had decided to ignore my obvious flustered state or she simply failed to notice.

“Oh,” I trembled as flashes of the night before invaded my thoughts. Those wayward thoughts blending with the shiver she had just invoked reduced me to blathering idiot. The wheels in my head spun wildly. I had to answer her. I just needed a moment to think before I opened my mouth. Finally, I cleared my throat and presented my response to her innocent query. “I have to go straight home. I got some flack for coming home so late last night. I have to stay in tonight.” It wasn’t really a lie, since I knew that once I met Dad at his shop I really was going to get in trouble for staying out so late.

“Grody,” she offered me a sympathetic grin. “Well if you get a reprieve the gang is meeting at the bowling alley.”

“Watching the guys strut their stuff again,” I sighed. “Nah, I’ll hang with the folks.”

“It’s cool.” She nodded before leaving. “Thanks again for the book.”

I had never been so relieved to blow off my friends. I wasn’t in the mood for facing Laurie or anyone else that night. What I needed to do was just hide in the house and watch television with my parents. It might be a lame way to spend the night but I needed time to think. I needed to clear my head and figure out what the night before had meant.

Later, after I closed up the bookstore, I walked over to my Dad’s barber shop. My mind was still muddled even when I knocked on the window informing Dad I had arrived. He put down the broom he was using and unlocked the front door for me. “You do own a watch,” he gave me guff right from the get go.

“Sorry about last night,” I grumbled rubbing my throbbing temple. “I just lost track of time.”

“I see and now that you’ve apologized you’re going to ask if you can out again tonight?” He grumbled.

“No.” I shrugged sheepishly.

“Well that knocked the wind out of my sails,” he blinked with surprise. “I was all set to give you a stern lecture, complete with several I’m disappointed and calling you young lady as many times as possible.”

“Hate to disappoint.” I shrugged once again. “So can you give your kid a lift home or is part of my penance walking?”

“Help your old man clean up,” he smiled handing me the broom. “While we are cleaning up you can explain to me just what is so fascinating about this Dirk idiot?”

“He’s okay.” I shrugged as I began to sweep the floor.

“Well that was touching,” Dad shook his head. “Well it can’t be puppy love. So why do you keep getting back together with the jackass?”

I didn’t have an answer other than Dirk was on the team, a part of the gang and despite his groping and bragging he would eventually back off. Puppy love was such a strange term. It was at that moment that I realized I had never really understood what it meant. I dated and had steady boyfriends but I still had failed to find the one guy that would make me feel and act like an idiot. Maybe that was good thing. Helping me to keep my head on straight so that when I left home my mind wouldn’t be clouded by the trappings of love. If I had fallen hard for some boy, I might have given into temptation which could have gotten me in trouble. I didn’t want that. I wanted a future away from Cedar Hills. I knew a long list of girls who wanted to move on only to be sidetracked by falling for some guy. Prior to that moment I had just assumed that I was more practical than my peers. Now I wasn’t so certain if it was good, old fashion common sense or perhaps something else. I was snapped out of my dark thoughts when Dad pointed out that I had been sweeping the same spot for over ten minutes.

That night I was trapped under a dark cloud. It was easy to allow my troubles to overwhelm my thoughts. My parents were completely addicted to television probably because it wasn’t around when they were growing up. Well, it was around, they just couldn’t afford the luxury until I was about ten. Televisions back then were large, massive pieces of furniture with teeny tiny black and white screens. I can kind of understand Mom’s obsession with it, being stuck in the house all day with me and my kid brother. My Dad, on the other hand, had no excuse for being a tyrant when it came to what shows we would and would not watch.

I just sat back and tried to watch whatever he picked. Thanking the heavens that it was far too late in the day for Howdy Doody to be on. None of the hokey shows failed to capture my attention. Finally I gave up and excused myself claiming that I was tired. What was exhausting me was the constant replaying of what had happened the night before.

Over and over again I watched the scene playing out. It started out innocently enough just a couple of kids sneaking some booze. I just couldn’t figure out when it turned into something lurid. When I climbed into bed I still couldn’t grasp why Laurie did what she did. More importantly why did I go along with it? Granted I was a little buzzed when it all started. Alone in the dark recalling the sequence of events I couldn’t lie to myself. I knew that there were several moments I could have stopped what was happening.

Going to bed early proved to be a really bad call. Left alone in my bedroom while trying to understand my sexual confusion leaves a teenaged girl with only one option. A little fantasizing wasn’t a foreign concept; granted back then no one would admit to it. For the longest time I thought I was the only one who did it. There I was lying in the darkness, not only thinking about sex after my little experiment the night before, but my body was filled with a strange yearning.

It started the way it always did trying to picture myself making out with some cute guy from school. That never worked so I quickly shifted gears replacing the guy with a hunky movie star like Rock Hudson. Again I was falling flat until I decided to picture Doris Day with Rock Hudson. That always helped move things along encouraging me to slip my fingers inside of my pajama bottoms. I licked my lips as I slowly began to touch myself. I halted briefly questioning for the first time why it was I never got a little excited unless I added an attractive woman to my fantasy. I shook my head trying to vanquish the true reason from my thoughts. I groaned feeling depressed when I couldn’t evade the nagging question.

I gave up on trying to finish the task at hand and tried to sleep. I tossed and turned for hours before I finally fell into a fitful slumber. No small surprise that my dreams were more than interesting that night. Absent were the cute guys from school and movie stars, instead I was featured along with Laurie. At least my frisky companion started out as Laurie but somewhere in my dream she magically became her twin. When I awoke the following morning I was initially troubled by the hot dream. I shrugged it off suddenly having a new understanding of just why guys are fascinated by twins.

Midway through my shift at the bookstore I came to a conclusion. I accepted that the incident a couple nights ago was interesting, and since no one would ever know about it I should just forget about it. I had thought about it nonstop and the truth was what had happened was far less risqué than a lot of the books I was reading on the sly. Laurie could chalk it up to an incomplete pass. I simply dismissed the whole thing as a lark. Like I said no one was ever going to know and I certainly wasn’t going to let it happen again. Best to forget the whole thing and go on with my life.

I was okay with my irrational rationalization until Dirk strolled in. I knew he wasn’t there to buy a book. Truth be told I had long suspected that the only book Dirk had read voluntarily was a playbook. His sudden appearance could only mean that he was there to see me. For the first time I was thrilled to see him. A little time with my boyfriend just might be the ticket. I think he was in shock when I eagerly accepted his invitation to join him and the rest of the gang in a trip to the local drive-in. Normally if Dirk suggested taking me to the drive-in I would flatly refuse.

When Dirk arrived my Dad was less than pleased. Dad probably cut every guy in towns hair and had been doing so since I was a small child. Dad often said that the gossip in his shop was better than a hen party. Ergo each time I went out with someone new Dad already knew all the dirt. He didn’t like Dirk. In fact he often said that he trusted him about as far as he could throw him. I suspected that Dad really wanted to hurl Dirk into a wall. Imagine your little girl bouncing off for a night at the passion pit with a guy who more than earned the nickname Groper?

Dad’s fears ebbed ever so slightly when the rest of our party emerged from the car. It appeared that we weren’t going alone in Dirk’s car. Dirk wasn’t even driving. Apparently we were doubling. Normally I’d be thrilled that we were going with another couple, and Gloria Detwyler was joining us as well. Dad may have been pleased that we not only had a fifth wheel but the other couple were two of the most upstanding kids in my little social circle.

I, on the other hand, was floored when Bobby and Ginny strolled into my parent’s home. Never mind that I had locked lips with Ginny’s sister; all day long I had been whiling away the hours thinking about Ginny. Yeah I know my plan was to blow off what had happened. Fine plan except that I couldn’t stop thinking about it or her.

I was filled with a deep sense of shame when she looked at me. I wanted to cancel right then and there feigning cramps or the bubonic plague anything to get me out of spending the night in the same car with the tall blonde. Wasn’t going to happen. Dad gave his stamp of approval and Bobby’s car was waiting in the driveway. The only person who was less enthused was Gloria. Hey no one wants to be the fifth wheel. Face it trapped in a car with two couples knowing that the only reason you are there is to keep the guys from getting out of hand because you had failed to score a date is a real drag; no matter how you slice it.

My original plan of snuggling and sharing a little heavy petting with my boyfriend so I could reconfirm my place in the world had been dashed. I finally accepted my fate knowing that the night was already a bust. It was odd knowing that Dirk would still try even with Gloria nestled in the backseat with us. I was in quite a pickle because of a couple sips of rum and a stacked blonde. I felt like Alice after she fell down that damn rabbit hole.

Once we arrived at the drive-in we fell into the usual rituals. The gang took over the best parking spots. Couples often parked away from the crowd so they could have privacy. Since we had Gloria in tow that wasn’t going to happen. Then the guys would converge at the snack bar while the girls took over the ladies’ room. It’s funny to think about now, how much makeup we would plaster to our young flesh beginning the moment we left our homes. Only to scrub our faces clean when we knew we’d be returning to our parents.

The bathroom, per usual, was a cloud of cigarette smoke and cheap hairspray echoing with the sounds of girlish laughter and gum snapping. Once we had completed the arduous task of making ourselves look pretty, and our minds had become fuzzy from the mixture of smoke and aerosol, we would either rejoin our boyfriends or kick the kiddies off the swing set so we could smoke and gossip.

I sat on one of the swings after bumming a smoke off of Sandy feeling mildly relieved that Ginny hadn’t followed. “So Ginny and Bobby?” Candy piped in. “It is Ginny right?”

“Yes.” I rolled my eyes.

“Of course it is,” Margie gleefully explained. “Laurie is still with Brent.”

“For now,” Sandy grumbled with disgust. “Trust me that boy’s days are numbered. Face it he is on a fast train to loserville. No way is Laurie staying on his arm when he can’t go out at night. She must be pissed that she is missing out on tonight.”

“She could have shown up without a date,” Margie tried to rationalize. Margie was always trying to be the voice of reason. Like when she would suggest that I might hang onto a boyfriend longer if I went out with someone I really liked instead of dating a guy because he had a letterman sweater. She really was naive about things sometimes.

“Laurie?” Sandy laughed. “Not a chance. Especially since her sister is here with Bobby. The girl is far too stuck up to play second fiddle.”

I had often wondered why Sandy and Bobby never hooked up. The two of them had been best friends since the first grade. It was really odd to see a guy and girl stay friends for that long without one of them having the hots for the other. After puberty it just didn’t happen. In our world if a guy and girl spent that much time together something was going on.

“Hey sorry it is just so hard to tell them apart,” Candy reasoned.

“Sometimes I think I can,” I absently mumbled. “Ginny is so easy going most of the time. Then she’ll be in a class with me and she’ll act just like Laurie.”

“Weird if you ask me,” Sandy spat out. “It’s like they switch places or personalities. Face it Laurie can be a total witch. I’m glad that Ginny is the one Bobby asked out. If it had been Laurie I would have blown a gasket. “

“What’s the dif?” Candy groaned.

“The dif is Laurie is a harpy and a little fast and Ginny is a doll,” Sandy sniped. “Trust me I’ve seen them together at those fancy country club parties our parents insist on dragging us to. Believe me those girls are nothing alike. If someone is getting all the attention Laurie pulls some stunt just to get noticed. She’s hit on more than one girl’s escort. Mark my words when that egg split something went horribly wrong.”

Sandy was just gearing up and the others seemed to be following her lead. It made me uncomfortable. When the tongues started to wag no one was safe. It never felt right to me to sit around cutting someone down only to smile and chat with them later. “You know you’re right,” I slowly began snubbing out my cigarette. “They are different. For starters Ginny is a class act who would never gossip about anyone behind their back. So let’s can it.”

“That’s what I love about you Ellen,” Sandy smiled. “You, too, are a class act. Not a bitchy bone in your body. So what’s with the chaperone? Dirk must be pitching a fit.”

“You know it.” I snickered climbing off the swing.

“It’s getting dark,” Sandy sighed. “Guess we should find our dates.”

I started to stroll away from the girls who decided to have one last smoke before the movie started. I jumped when I spied Ginny lurking just around the corner. The pensive look on her face filled me with concern. She was a little too close to the playground not to have heard what the girls were saying. “Hey.” I called out trying to act as if she and her sister hadn’t been the topic of conversation.

“Hey,” she smiled sweetly as she approached me. “Thanks.”

“For?” I questioned when we started heading towards the cars.

“Sticking a sock in Sandy’s mouth,” Ginny grimly explained folding her arms across her chest. “You’re right. I hate gossip especially when my sister is the main focus. So thanks.”

“Uhm, no problem,” I stuttered suddenly feeling very shy. “I should be thanking you. Gloria coming along is perfect. That ought to cool Dirk’s jets.”

“I, Uhm,” she shyly responded. “I don’t like going on dates to the drive-in unless you know there’s a buffer. Too easy for a guy to get the wrong idea.”

“And a long walk home.” I laughed.

“No kidding,” she laughed along with me. “That’s why I always have that emergency dime in my purse so I can call a cab. Speaking of Gloria, where is she?”

“Don’t know,” I shrugged when we reached Bobby’s car. Our little chaperone was no where in sight. I knew Gloria was miffed by her designated role in the night’s festivities still it was odd for her to ditch us. I finally spotted her across the way chatting with some cute guy. “Oops looks like she’s found a better offer.”

“No it’s not cool,” I heard Bobby sniping at Dirk.

I quickly added two and two together and came up with a rat. I’d bet dollars to donuts that Dirk knew the good looking stranger who had suddenly appeared and captivated Gloria. “Snake,” I groaned pushing past him and climbing into the backseat.

“What?” He whined climbing in behind me.

“Where’d you dig him up?” I growled under my breath as our companions climbed into the front seat.

“Cousin,” he proudly grinned handing me a bucket of popcorn.

“I’m sorry about this,” Bobby apologized to Ginny.

“Hey Gloria was miserable,” Dirk defended his actions while slipping his arm around my shoulders.

“That’s you all over; just a regular boy scout doing one good deed after another,” I groaned his hand already finding its way to my thigh.

“Hey Babe,” he made the mistake of cooing in my ear.

After hearing that one too many times a couple of nights ago I had a bad reaction and elbowed him in the chest. Dirk grunted but kept his hands in place. “Dirk the only reason I agreed to double with you guys was because there was going to be another person here,” Ginny scolded him with a hostile glare in the rearview mirror.

“Now don’t you feel bad?” I growled.

“No.” Dirk practically laughed snuggling closer.

It took my ever attentive boyfriend all of ten minutes into the first flick to start groping me. I hate to admit it but I went along with his pawing. In the back of my mind I had convinced myself that it was what I needed to do so I could feel normal again. Once we started making out it was the same old thing. I was going through the motions while my mind drifted. It is amazing that I hadn’t realized before that night I always let my mind wander while making out with a guy.

I got more homework done when I went parking than I ever did when I sat down to study. That night I was reminding myself to say this while touching him here or there. All the while knowing that I was emotionally detached from what I was doing. I just wanted to feel something and as a result let him get a little further than I normally would. It was hell letting him touch me in the backseat of the car knowing that there were two other people sitting directly in front of us. Each time I glanced up I found Bobby and Ginny snuggling and watching the movie. They weren’t kissing or groping. In fact if I hadn’t caught Ginny spying on us in the mirror from time to time I would have thought the two of them had fallen asleep.

The look in her eyes troubled me. She looked so strange and troubled. Something in her distant look tore at me. It was too much knowing she was watching while he was groping me. It made my stomach churn. Not for the first time that night I brushed his inquisitive hands away from my breasts. It failed to deter him. I finally shoved him away from me. Dirk blew out the same frustrated sigh he always did and pouted. “It’s intermission,” I grumbled while he slumped back against the seat. “I have to go to the ladies room.” I excused myself leaving Dirk stewing in his frustration. Ginny naturally followed after me.

I knew she had only snuck out of the car because it would have been bad manners to allow me to go to the bathroom by myself. You never let another girl go to the bathroom alone. I wasn’t surprised when Ginny chose to remain silent as we strolled towards the restroom. The poor girl must have been awfully uncomfortable watching me acting like a hussy.

“I don’t have to go,” I blew out in frustration feeling completed discombobulated by the fact that she had seen me making out with Dirk. “I just wanted to get away from him.” I concluded leaning up against the wall outside of the bathroom.

“Well,” Ginny nodded pursing her lips. “He certainly lives up to his reputation.”

“Like being out with an octopus,” I sneered more disgusted by my actions than Dirk’s. “I don’t know why I keep getting back together with him.”

“Good question.” Ginny muttered taking the spot next to me.

The disapproving tone in her voice made me feel even worse. I was just about to try and explain my lurid behavior when the rest of the gang banged out of the bathroom and joined us. Neither Ginny nor I spoke we just leaned back and listened or at least I pretended to listen. Dirk was not a happy camper when we returned and I failed to respond to his advances. “I said stop!” I finally spat out giving him a hard shove.

Dirk just grunted before making another lame attempt. “Hey!” Bobby shouted from the front seat. “She said back off.”

Dirk was smart enough not to challenge Bobby. I was grateful that I was doubling with Bobby who, above all else, was a gentleman. It was one of the things that made him so attractive to the girls in school. Back then sex before marriage was something only bad girls did. Or at least that was what we told ourselves even if some of the girls were sleeping with their boyfriends. But no one talked about that other than in hushed whispers.

By the time the second flick had ended I wanted to apologize to Bobby and Ginny. Instead I did the only thing I could think of doing. I begged off joining them for a burger and asked that they drop me off at home. Poor Dirk I thought his head was going to explode when I tossed out my feeble excuse of having to work in the morning. I had to get away from him and them. Extending the evening which would include enduring Dirk dropping hints that we should hit Mill Hill just wasn’t on the agenda.

I dashed out of the car barely saying goodnight to Dirk. Even if I wasn’t suddenly confused by recent events it was clear that Dirk had to go. Granted I had led him on that night but his advances were getting more and more aggressive. Time to call it quits. Another thing that made me feel queasy was I knew why he was so hot on the idea of doubling with Bobby that night. Not only did he want to get lucky with me, the twisted jerk wanted a chance to see one of the twins in action. When I crawled into bed that night I still felt ill. Left alone with my thoughts I knew that Dirk wasn’t the only screwball who wanted to view Ginny in a passionate situation.

You can only image what I dreamt about that night. I was at the drive-in alright, but no one except me and Ginny were there and watching the movie wasn’t on the schedule. The following morning I woke up feeling positively amorous. “This is just great.” I snarled after taking a long shower which failed to ebb my erroneous thoughts. My curious nature really took a bizarre turn. The more I tried to forget what I now referred to as the incident; the more I thought about it. A strange twist of fate to say the least. The funny thing was the more I thought about it the less uptight I felt. It was a real kick in the pants.

The rest of the summer was fun. Despite my promise there were a couple of occasions I tried to talk to Laurie about that kooky night. She told me to chill out and keep my trap shut. I decided to let sleeping dogs lay. The thing was I really did enjoy what we did. I just didn’t enjoy being treated like a piece of meat. It was kind of crazy. Every guy in school would have given their right eye for a late night drive to the submarine races with Laurie for a little backseat bingo. It was kind of a blast that I was the one who did it. And weird because I couldn’t tell anyone.

Still the incident got me thinking about things like how girls are better kissers than boys. At least Laurie was. Then I began to wonder what other girls kissed like. I had kissed girls before when I was much younger. We used to hide behind Margie’s father’s shed and practice kissing so we would know what to do with boys. Only difference was there wasn’t any groping and no one would have dared French another girl. Then again back then we thought French kissing was something people in France did. After I thought about things some more I dumped Dirk.

“So what happened with Dirk?” Margie questioned me one afternoon when we were hanging out at Buddy Burgers. She wasn’t surprised when I sent him packing. No one was really. Dirk and I were always breaking up. I swear the real reason I always took him back had more to do with his letterman sweater than any feelings I had for him. Then again that had been the way I had handled my love life since my very first date.

“He’s a square,” I rolled my eyes.

“He always was,” she laughed adjusting the small scarf on her neck. “Just so you know he says he dumped you because, and I quote, ‘that paper shaker is real gone.”

“Big whoop,” I laughed. “He also said he hit a home run. Groper never got past second base. I always struck him out before he had a chance to step up to the plate.”

“I know that,” she chuckled still playing with her scarf. “I think he’s just jealous that you hitched a lift in one of the Cherry Mobiles. Man my wheels look like a wooden crate next to the twins’ cars.”

“At least you have wheels,” I sighed trying to avoid discussing the twins. “You keep fiddling with that and I’m gonna wonder if just maybe some chick I know went to the drive-in last night.”

“Forbidden Planet.” She groaned.

“Again? What is it with Mark and that movie?” I sighed dramatically.

“Hey I wanted to see Rebel again,” she fussed. “But no.”

“James Dean,” I gasped clutching my heart. All the girls were in love with James Dean ever since we saw Rebel Without A Cause. All of the boys hated him while trying to act like him. We were still in mourning over his tragic death the year before. “Lucky you I spent last night watching Dragnet with my Dad.”

“You need to get jacketed,” she suggested earnestly.

“No way,” I waved her off. “I’m waiting to see who makes the team. How would it look if I pick another nerd who spends the season warming the bench?”

“You could go out with a guy you like,” she grumbled. “You know cast your eyeball on a dreamboat you are hot for instead of going on one fake out after another. There must be some guy at school you dig.”

“What are you writing a book or something?” I scowled dismissing her idea.

It was a novel concept that really didn’t fly in our tight knit world. We were cheerleaders and that meant we dated guys on the team. Preferably first string. I really didn’t give a hoot whose jacket I was wearing. I was just playing along until I could bolt. I could tell by the look in her eyes she wasn’t going to drop it.

“Why?” I stressed. “Next year I’ll be in college.”

“Still Smith?” She cringed. “How are you going to find a husband at an all girls’ school?”

“You do remember what happened to Cindy Wilkins don’t you,” I tried to reason with her. “Captain of the squad three years running. She went with Greg who wasn’t on the team all through high school.”

“They got married after graduation,” Margie blinked with surprise. “What’s the prob?”

“Yeah they got married, had a kid right away, got stuck living here. Now he’s an oil jockey down at Simpson’s garage,” I clarified. “Ever see them out in town?”

“Yeah,” she frowned. “Man they were so tight in high school. Now they look so sad. What happened?”

“I just told you.” I stressed. “No offense, but I want to go to college. I want an education. And when I find the right guy I find the right guy. In the meantime I’m eye balling on the first string. No way I going to the next hop alone.”

“A wallflower you ain’t,” Margie agreed. “Speaking of double trouble.”

“Ah the Swenson girls,” I smirked as they approached wondering just how many guys got a case of whiplash when they walked in the door. Then again who can blame them?

“Hey,” Ginny greeted us as they slid into the booth. It wasn’t unexpected for them to join us. The cheerleaders always flocked together. Ginny sat next to Margie and Laurie slid in next to me. Margie’s eyes kept darting from one to the other. I knew what she was doing. It was something that we all did at one time or another. She was trying to figure which one was which. I knew who was who when they sat down. Laurie sat a little too close to me; her body language demanded attention. Ginny simply relaxed into the situation. I wasn’t surprised by their seat selection. I didn’t feel that Laurie had sat next to me to make me feel uncomfortable. Not that I would put it past her. It was just that I had noticed awhile ago that Ginny always sat to the right and Laurie more than likely would sit on the left. I just always assumed it was so they could face one another.

“Nice jacket,” I smirked over at Ginny recognizing Bobby Walford’s letterman jacket. It was no surprise that one of the twins ended up snagging the dreamiest guy in school. And Ginny and Bobby had been glued at the hip since the summer began. It seemed completely natural that she ended up wearing his jacket. There was, however, this small nagging twinge gnawing at me. I couldn’t put a name on it then. All I knew was that I felt it every time I saw her and Bobby together. They looked so gosh darn cute together I just wanted to throw up.

“Heard you dumped Groper,” Laurie taunted me while waving for the waitress.

“Ancient history,” I sighed dramatically.

“You always take him back,” she teased with a dangerous gleam in her brilliant blue eyes.

“If the varmint comes crawling back this time I’m gonna shoot him.” I vowed.

“Definitely splits-ville,” Ginny gloated before ordering two cokes.

“Did you even see the movie?” Laurie interjected laughing at Margie. “You are wearing far too many scarves without getting a jacket.”

“I got the ring,” Margie boasted revealing Mark’s class ring that was hanging on chain around her neck.

“You get points for that,” Laurie quickly assessed.

“Did you get more for a jacket or a ring?” I teased her pleased by the way her lips curled into an amused smirk. “Laurie likes to keep score.” I explained to Margie.

“Doesn’t everyone?” Laurie boasted glaring at her sister. “Ouch! What’re you kicking me for?” She complained to her sister who was sporting a very grim look. The siblings exchanged hostile glares.

I glanced up at the neon clock on the wall and realized that I had to get moving. “I have to split,” I announced nudging Laurie so I could exit the booth. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t spin around and smack her when she had the nerve to grab my ass. Since no one else had seen her do it I very well couldn’t explain why I suddenly decided to sock her in the jaw. I did give her a hostile glare. “Ouch!” Laurie cried out again. “Will you stop doing that you goof!”

“Nice to know I’m not the only one who fights with my sister.” Margie laughed off their antics.

“Well I’d call her an ugly hag but that’s not true,” Ginny boasted with a brilliant smile.

“Almost wish I could stay and watch the show,” I laughed. “See ya later alligator.”

“In awhile crocodile,” they quickly responded.

When I arrived home that day I found my mother on the sofa completely captivated by the events happening on As The World Turns. I never understood why everyone questioned my desire to move away when I was old enough. The truth was I didn’t want to end up like my mother. Sitting there her eyes glued to the television set, chain smoking while my little brother sat on the floor playing with his ant farm. I loved my mother, still do. I just lacked the desire to follow in her footsteps. “Eleanore?” She called out to never taking her eyes off of the tiny black and white screen.

“Yeah I got them,” I answered pulling the pack of Chesterfields from my purse. Back then you could do that; buy cigarettes for your parents. All you needed was a note and many times not even that. What mom didn’t know was that I bought two packs and the other was for me. Of course back then I was a smoker. It was cool. All the movie stars did it.

“What did you do today?” She questioned when I handed her the cigarettes her eyes still locked on the television.

“Not much,” I shrugged. “Hung out with Margie; went for a coke and ran into the Swenson twins.”

“Those girls are so nice.” Mom threw out casually.

All the parents liked the twins and liked having their kids hang out with them. I suspect that had a lot to do with the fact that the Swenson clan had a lot of money. I think they felt if you hung out with the twins some of the family’s good fortune might rub off. I shrugged off her comment it was no use talking to her once the commercial was over. I looked down at my little brother Sammy and tried to understand why watching a bunch of bugs trapped between a couple panes of glass was so fascinating. “Hey Scooter,” I tried to draw his attention away from the bugs. “You really like that thing huh?”

“Yup.”

“Ever thought about going outside?” I tried to encourage him.

“Nope.”

“Okay then,” I rolled my eyes. Again, I was a teenager. My body language was restricted to rolling my eyes, shrugging my shoulders, twirling my hair and of course, sighing like the world was coming to an end. I took one last look at my brother. The poor guy had more nicknames than you could count. There was Scooter, Junior and since my Dad’s name was Sam, Sammy, little Sammy, Skippy, Scamp and of course, Skeeter. Half the time I didn’t know what to call him. I blame his many personas on my parents’ addiction to television. It was no small wonder he got the snot beat out of him almost everyday at school. Then again his daily torture might have more to do with his strange fascination with bugs and his general creepy nature. Later I would learn that he just marched to the beat of a different drummer. Back then I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t even see how different I was from everyone else.

Summer ended and our last year of school began. Once again all was right with the world. I made the squad again. A major bonus was that Margie and I were selected to be co-captains. I was doing well in my classes, the squad was razing the freshmen and even though I secretly agreed with the guys that the Swenson twins were a couple of hottie totties, I was handling it. The only crisis looming over me was what to wear to Sandy’s latest party. God bless Sandy and her absentee parents.

The party was in full swing, Elvis was on the record player, we had beer, smokes and no parental supervision. What more could we ask for? All the kids really dug Sandy’s parents because they went out of town almost every weekend leaving Sandy all alone in such a big house. It was amazing they never suspected that every time they left town every jock and rah-rah were crashed in their living room guzzling beer. Our thoughts at the time were limited to who cares? We never stopped to think that just perhaps it was Sandy’s parents who didn’t care. We were too young and self involved to think about such things.

That night the only thing we were concerned about was that our team had won the game that day and one of the guys had a fake ID. I was perched on the sofa with a small group of people trying to discuss something deeper than what happened on Gun Smoke that week. “All I am saying is that she was not only already enrolled at the university, but she was attending classes,” I fumed. “How can they just decide that it was illegal for her to be a student? What about Brown vs. the Board of Education?”

“They didn’t just decide!” Ron who was a fullback argued. “They removed her from classes because of the riots. It was for her own safety.”

Ron O’Keefe was quickly moving up my list for the next Sock Hop. I didn’t agree with him, but at least he was able to hold up his end of the conversation. I hated that at times I had to play dumb because most guys were put off when you expressed an opinion or commented on anything socially relevant.

“Big whoop!” Dirk belched after downing his beer. “Who cares what a bunch of squares in Oklahoma are doing?”

“Alabama!” Ron and I berated him. I threw in a swift kick to his shin. I still hadn’t forgiven him for spreading lies about me. “Whatever.” The misguided idiot burped.

“Wow!” Mark who was standing behind us whimpered.

Every guy in the room suddenly stopped speaking while their eyes glazed over and became riveted to the doorway. It could only mean one thing. “Oh goodie the twins are here,” Candy grunted with disdain.

I glanced over my shoulder stifling a little sigh when I spotted them. They looked perfect; they always did. I smirked when I looked at the glazed over looks every guy sported.

“Invasion of the body snatchers,” I snickered.

“Do they have to dress alike?” Margie snarled. It was a bit out of character for Margie to say something mean about the twins. Still it wasn’t a shock either. All the girls got along with the twins. Hung out with them, doubled with them and acted like we were their friends. And most of the girls at one time or another cursed them behind their backs. There wasn’t a big mystery as to why it happened. The guys turned stupid, falling all over themselves whenever the twins entered a room.

“They’re doing the scarf thing,” I offered trying to sound blasé.

“The scarf thing?” Ron stammered like a complete goober.

‘Yeah you just dropped way down on my date list!’ I silently grumbled crossing my arms across my chest.

“They are wearing different colored scarves,” Margie rolled her eyes. “They do that sometimes.”

“Green for Ginny and Lavender for Laurie,” Candy dryly explained.

“You mean purple?” Dirk scratched his head.

“More of a lilac really,” Margie concluded her bitter tone ebbing slightly.

“Yeah okay,” Dirk shook his head. “All you chicks wear those little scarves. I thought it was just to hide hickeys.”

“Sometimes.” I confessed. “The twins color co-ordinate sometimes to help them out. They do it if one or both of them have a date. They don’t want the guy to get confused.”

“Again who cares?” Dirk laughed like a moron. “Twice as much fun.”

I took the laughter that followed his moronic comment as my cue to get up and make myself another drink. Margie nudged me. “Looks like Ginny is the lucky one,” she whispered. “She’s with Bobby again.”

“Not like Laurie to fly solo,” I noted. Then I snuck off to the laundry room where I had stashed my own personal bottle of Bacardi. I have to confess I stole a couple more looks at the twins before sneaking into the dark room.

I felt a little off centered when I thought about Laurie being at the party alone. I decided that I really did need another drink perhaps two. After I downed my first drink I could still hear the boys cackling like idiots. A second cocktail was most definitely in order. I felt all warm and fuzzy. ‘Yes two drinks were a good idea.’ I decided since I wasn’t eager to rejoin the festivities. I began pouring my third rum and a splash of coke when I jumped slightly. My heart was racing; someone had joined me in the laundry room and shut the door behind them. I blew out a sigh of relief when she greeted me.

“Howdy Laurie,” I laughed feeling silly that I had been so skittish. “Care to join me?” I offered handing her my drink.

“Always.” She purred.

I shivered instantly recognizing the alluring timber of her voice. She sounded the same way she did that night last summer when she was trying to get me into the backseat of her car. “Hmmf.” I sniffed trying extremely hard to appear casual. I turned away from her haughty gaze and poured myself a drink. When I turned back around my palms were sweating and I felt anything but calm. It was all coming back to me. The rum, the way she was looking at me, the way she was standing much too close to me; and then there was the constant fluttering in my stomach.

“I kind of,” she shyly began.

“Uh Huh,” I offered feebly fighting valiantly not to lean closer to her.

“You know last summer,” she whispered closing the distance between us.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about that,” I coolly retorted still fighting against the way my skin was tingling.

My act was useless. I set my cup down thinking that I was doing it because I had already drunk too much. Deep in my heart I knew I had set it aside knowing it would give her an entrance. I swallowed hard when she placed her cup beside mine. I fought against the overwhelming urge to meet her gaze. Another mistake; my focus became riveted to her soft, supple lips. I could feel my breathing becoming labored. Her lips parted ever so slightly allowing her tongue to peek out. My knees went weak watching her tongue slowly wetting her lips.

“I’m screwed.” I foolishly muttered when her hand came to rest on my shoulder.

“Not yet,” she toyed with me brushing her body against mine. “No one knows that we are in here.”

‘It does make some sense.’ I silently reasoned slipping my arms around her waist. The fluttering in my stomach began a rampage. I watched as she tipped her head. My eyes drifted shut when I felt her body trembling against mine. The kiss began shyly. It was different from the last time. This kiss was so sweet. I trembled; feeling her fingers teasing the nape of my neck. I began to tease her bottom lip with the tip of my tongue. I released a deep moan when she parted her lips inviting me in. I wasted no time in accepting her offer. Her touch was tender and yet tantalizing at the same time; setting my body on fire.

I was so completely captivated by her kisses that when I felt her hand slipping down along the curves of my body I didn’t offer any resistance. Our bodies melted together; my hips swaying against her in a gentle rhythm. I moaned into the warmth of her mouth. Her nimble fingers began to hike up my skirt. As good as what was happening felt I had danced this dance before. Slowly I withdrew my mouth from hers; allowing her just enough time to get up and under my skirt. I grasped both of her wrists shoving her hands away from my body.

“I’m sorry I thought that maybe we could … You know. It was so nice last summer.” She feebly explained.

“Nice?” I gaped at her. “No it wasn’t. As for fun, true; last summer was fun. Forgive me if I want more in life than a little fun.” I corrected her pushing her slightly away by pressing my finger firmly into her shoulder blade.

“I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized again stepping shyly away.

“Here’s the deal; like I told your sister it is gonna take a hell of a lot more than a little rum to make me give it up,” I fumed keeping my voice low so our conversation couldn’t be over heard.

“How did you?” She laughed.

“Just back off Ginny,” I warned her. “Your sister didn’t score and neither will you.”

“She didn’t?”

“No she didn’t,” I snarled. I wanted to strangle Laurie. I should have known she would lie about what had happened. I wanted to read Ginny the riot act as well. There was something in her eyes that made my anger inexplicably vanish. I took a calming breath before I finished what I needed to say. “You just struck out as well.” My words were blunt. Strangely there wasn’t a hint of malice in my tone. As much as I wanted to I just didn’t feel it.

“It’s cool,” she threw up her hands in defeat before she thankfully took a giant step back. “Wow you know most people can’t tell us apart. How did you?”

“You may look exactly alike, but you are not the same person,” I asserted handing her the drink she had abandoned before retrieving my own.

“Most people don’t get that,” she smiled. “So what was your first clue?”

“For starters Laurie doesn’t like to take no for answer,” I slowly explained. “You on the other hand apologized and backed off.”

“She didn’t?” She gasped with horror. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that she was persistent and thought that a little more rum might change my mind,” I ruefully recounted. “Eventually she got the point. Honestly I thought Dirk was a butt head, but Laurie should be the one named Groper. So how many points was I worth?”

“Ellen I’m sorry; it was wrong,” she tried to apologize.

“How many?”

“Well she said she hit a homerun” she reluctantly confessed. “So she got bonus points.”

“Almost,” I muttered completely embarrassed by the situation. “Third base. Still she lied.”

“Definite flag on the play.”

“Geez Louise, she really is worse than Dirk,” I sneered. “Just how often do you clowns pull this little stunt? You know the old switch-a-roo? And why do you keep score?”

“It started as a joke,” she meekly began.

“It isn’t funny.”

“I know,” she sighed heavily. “It started a really long time ago. Around the time we realized that we look exactly alike. Then one of us would have trouble in one class or another. Swapping dates came much later.”

“That was you in my math class,” I exclaimed. “I can kind of understand that. If I could get someone to fill in for me during some of my exams it would be pretty keen. Still swapping dates is gross. And playing me is way out of line. What if someone found out? I’m having a hard enough time explaining this to myself.”

“It was stupid and callous,” Ginny rapidly blew out. “I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Just don’t to forget to penalize her for lying,” I reluctantly conceded.

“Oh I will.” She promised with a brilliant smile.

“Switching dates for points and chuckles why?” I demanded before downing my drink.

“At first we never thought we’d get away with it, but we did,” she tried to explain polishing off her cocktail.

“Damn we’re out of rum,” I groaned holding up the empty bottle. “So what’d you do tonight sneak off to the bathroom and switch scarfs? She gets a shot at Bobby and you try to pull a fast one on me?”

“No,” she bit back a laugh. “Laurie’s been with Bobby since he came to the house to pick me up. Oh and she was his date after the game last week.”

“Hasn’t he noticed?” I was flabbergasted.

“Nope,” she shrugged. “Like I said most people never figure it out. Ellen I really want to apologize again. It was bogus for me to try this stunt on you.”

“Yes it was,” I scolded her wagging my finger in her face. “Just for the record you could at least buy a girl a milkshake or something before you pounce.”

“So you dig kissing girls?” She questioned with a mischievous grin.

“Uhm, well yeah kind of,” I blushed. “I mean I don’t know. I must since I keep doing it.” My mouth was way ahead of my brain. By the time the words caught up with me I was terrified. I wasn’t worried that Ginny would spill the beans still what I had said was troubling.

The sounds of the party seemed to be closing in. We tossed our cups and straightened our clothing. “Ellen I’m not going to tell anyone.” She promised as we made our way towards the door.

“I know,” I sighed wistfully. “We should get back before someone comes looking for us.”

“Shucks I was hoping for spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven,” she teased me.

“Laugh it up,” I elbowed her. For the life of me I couldn’t understand why I was so calm about things. I just was. There I was acting like we had snuck off to grab a smoke instead of what really had happened. Maybe it was because unlike my encounter with Laurie, Ginny had left me feeling all warm and fuzzy. Whatever the reason I felt completely at ease. So I just went with it. “Just cause I let you kiss me doesn’t mean you can razz me. Oh by the way that is the best way to tell you apart.”

“What is?” She questioned with confusion as we reentered the party.

I sighed smiling up at her with a wry grin. I reached up so I could whisper in her ear. “Kissing,” I shrugged. “You kiss differently. It definitely sets you apart.”

“Wait! How? Who?” She was completely flustered.

“No way, no how,” I laughed. “The both of you have scored enough points at my expense. Though I do enjoy torturing you. Speaking of torture are you going to be Laurie all night?”

“Yeah.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” I gulped spying Laurie and Bobby engaged in a heavy make out session in the corner of the room. “How long have you been dating him?”

“The first day of summer when we all hit the beach,” she shrugged.

“And you don’t mind?”

“No.” She confirmed with a bright smile. “Relieved actually. Just remember I’m Laurie tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever you say wisenheimer,” I laughed.

“So, by different just how different?” She pried.

“Not going to tell you,” I taunted her slipping back into the crowd before she could conjure up anymore embarrassing questions.

I don’t understand why the situation amused me but it did. It was really wild. There was this part of me that was all torn up inside. I could rationalize going back for seconds with Laurie. Again I had the great all time excuse of what the hell I’ve been drinking and I’m still curious. That didn’t explain why I willingly kissed Ginny. The moment our lips touched I knew it wasn’t Laurie. It was kind of cool that one of my questions had been answered. All summer long I kept wondering if Laurie was such a good kisser could her sister be just as talented.

Talent doesn’t begin to describe what that girl could do with her lips and tongue. I thought Laurie had rocked my boat. Ginny blew me out of the water. That night we were one another’s shadow. Sticking so closely together didn’t look or feel weird. We were after all the only girls at the party who hadn’t paired off with some guy.

The only stumbling block I felt was calling her Laurie all night. It didn’t feel right. Since everyone else was preoccupied with their dates we really talked that night. Not about the things we normally talked about like movies, boys or the other mundane topics. We talked about colleges, the future and even world events. It was so refreshing to be able to discuss subjects that went deeper than the latest fashion trends. Of course Ginny did keep slipping in her nagging question. What did I mean by different. I really got a chuckle out of teasing her.

“Well it’s official,” I grimly noted checking my watch when the lights were dimmed. “It’s a petting party. I guess I should split.”

Ginny nodded in agreement and followed after me. We walked around the huge backyard swinging past the swimming pool. It was warm that night and we didn’t feel a need to talk. The warm silence felt like an embrace and I didn’t want it to end. Inside the music had stopped and we understood that the silence meant that the party had only just begun. For me the best part of the party was walking along side of me. Totally not helping with my constant state of confusion and again it felt too good to question.

We ended up strolling across the lawn stopping under a large oak tree. I wanted to ask for a cigarette not because I wanted to smoke; I was simply running out reasons to stay. “Beautiful night,” she whispered her soft voice resonating in the darkness. I glanced over at her leaning against the tree.

“Yes it is.” I smiled drinking in her beauty. I folded my hands behind my back knowing that I couldn’t be trusted not to react. Ginny’s sparkling blue eyes made my heart beat faster. I thought I should say something. I couldn’t; words seemed inadequate at that moment in time.

“This is hard,” her breathy tone making me shiver. I didn’t ask what she meant. I knew. I felt it too. I just stood there captivated by her eyes, her shy smile and by the way the faint hint of moonlight was glistening in her hair. The only thing that would have made the moment perfect was if she wasn’t standing so far away from me. There-in lies the rub. I wanted her not only to be by my side, I wanted to feel her arms wrapped around my body. I wanted to kiss her; to become lost in her kiss. Alas it couldn’t happen. It shouldn’t happen and most importantly it wouldn’t happen. She had promised she wouldn’t and I knew she would keep her word.

Talk about leaving the ball in my court. It was up to me and I knew that it was the last thing I should allow to happen. What I should have done was say goodnight and walk home. My body refused to move. No blaming it on alcohol this time. The effects of the rum had long since dissipated. This foreign yearning held me in a tight embrace. I refused to release it. I was helpless to break away from her smoldering gaze.

“What are you thinking?” She finally pried taking a tentative step forward.

“That I should be going,” I absently responded still lost in her eyes.

“Oh?” She nodded her face clouded with disappointment.

Something deep inside me sensed that she was about to retreat. Without thinking I reached out and captured her hand. My body tingled from her touch. I drew her closer. My heart was racing as I pulled her up against me. “The thing is I can’t.” I whimpered, my arms encircling her waist.

“Then don’t.” She gasped her warm breath caressing my face.

I kissed her long and deep. Her tongue felt like velvet as it caressed mine. It was just one kiss. One very long, spine tingling kiss. There up against that tree I experienced the nicest, most intense kiss of my life. I would have gladly kept kissing her if my lungs hadn’t started screaming for oxygen. “At the risk of sounding like a jackass,” she carefully began stroking her thumb against my cheek.

“What?” I boldly smiled. “This time I kissed you.”

“Oh that you did,” she gleefully blew out. “It was nice.”

“Yes.” I sighed happily.

“What I was going to suggest,” she snickered stepping slightly away from me. “I should give you a ride home. I’m not trying to pull a fast one. It’s just that it is getting late and trust me, we don’t want to get caught doing this.”

“Pumpkin time,” I wistfully agreed.

She never released my hand as we walked to her car. My body felt a sense of loss when she released my hand in order to open the car door for me. “Well this is different.” I wryly commented after she joined me and started the engine.

“What’s that?” She carefully questioned putting the car in gear.

“No over flowing ashtray. No bottles of booze rolling around the floor,” I explained hoping to set aside any fears she might be feeling. “Laurie’s car is a garbage dump next to yours.”

“Hey I let her have my boyfriend for the night,” she laughed lightly pulling out of the long driveway. “No way was she touching my car.”

“Nice to see you have your priorities in order,” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hey you should see her room,” Ginny grimaced.

“No thanks.” I curtly responded.

“I’ll pass that along,” Ginny smirked.

“Please, do.” I sighed happily slumping in my seat. I felt so content to just sit there and watch her drive. My heart sank when she pulled into my driveway. I reached for the door handle.

“I’ll get that.” She graciously offered fully prepared to get out and open the door.

Again my heart was filled with dread. “Uhm no,” I sadly cut her off.

“I was going to walk you to the door,” she quietly stated.

“I … I can’t,” I shyly grumbled. “I just … I don’t trust myself. Does that make any sense? I’m sorry. Like I said I’m having a hard enough time explaining this to myself. I must sound like a complete spaz.”

“No,” she reassured me with a tender smile. “Trust me Ellen, I understand.”

“I wish I did,” I groaned forcing myself to open the door. “Good night.” I finally offered pushing my body in motion before I could change my mind.

“Good night,” she echoed. “Sweet dreams.”

I bit back the whimper that tried to escape. I swallowed hard before feebly nodding my head and dashing into the house. “Oh I will.” I finally confessed once I was safely inside my house.

“Eleanore?” I heard my Dad’s voice booming from upstairs.

“Oh yeah definitely pumpkin time.” I growled before stomping up to my bedroom.

As I lie in bed that evening I was a little frightened by what happened. Just a little. Mostly I was excited and filled with the sense of bravado I had never felt before. I knew it was wrong, so very wrong. Then why did I feel like I had just scaled Mount Everest? That was it. I felt like I was on top of the world. Anything was possible. Knowing that it wasn’t a date and could never be considered a date did nothing to diminish my zeal. Even knowing that if anyone found out my life would essentially be over couldn’t taint the sweet memory. It may not have been a date, but it was the best night of my life. “So this is what puppy love feels like?” I mirthfully questioned.

The following Monday I was sneaking a quick smoke after practice. I was hiding behind the gym and jumped a mile when someone walked up. I rolled my eyes when I saw who it was. “Hey Laurie.”

“You really can tell us apart?” She sputtered in wonderment. “Can’t believe you ratted me out.”

“I can’t believe you thought it was cool to use me,” I spat back taking a dramatic drag on my cigarette. “Not to mention telling your sister you got to heaven when you so didn’t.”

“Don’t be a drag,” she waved me off. “She’s just mad because she wanted you first. She was planning on hitting on you in the locker room.”

“So you beat her to the punch by taking me to the submarine races,” I scowled. “I feel so special.”

“Chill Sandra Dee,” she sneered. “Look Ginny said I need to apologize; so sorry.”

“Oh that was heart felt,” I groaned.

“Chill out,” she growled. “Hey is it true we don’t kiss alike?”

“Not even close,” I countered with a cocky smile snubbing out my cigarette.

“So?”

“Don’t even bother,” I cautioned her. “I’m not telling you.”

“You’re making it up.” She accused me.

“Whatever.” I shrugged not in the mood to play games with her.

“Just don’t be telling Bobby,” she threatened me. “I like him and I won’t have the likes of you screwing things up for me.”

“So you like guys?” I was really confused.

“Yeah,” she seemed surprised. “I’m not a lesbo or a switchback. I was just having fun.”

“If you say so.”

“Hey Sport,” my dad greeted Sammy when he arrived home that night. I think he was running out of things to call the kid. My parents finally decided that the kid shouldn’t be allowed to wallow in the living room all day. So when he got home from school and finished his homework the little creep was banished to the great outdoors. Sammy decided that enjoying the outside world meant he would sit on the porch all day long watching the neighbor’s dog. “Wanna play catch?” Dad almost pleaded.

“Nope.”

“Okay then,” Dad quickly gave up before entering the house.

I was still finishing my homework and had been watching the exchange through the window. “Hey Kitten,” he greeted me. I was either Eleanore, Ellie, Kitten or my personal favorite, Princess. I swear my parents either watched way too much television or didn’t know what they wanted when they named us. “Mom’s in the kitchen fixing dinner.” I offered still trying to complete my homework so I could begin the most important part of my evening, which was of course making telephone calls. Truth was Mom was probably just starting dinner, but half way through her first pitcher of martinis.

“Has he been doing that all day?” Dad questioned nodding towards the window.

“Since I got home,” I confided.

“What exactly is he doing?” Dad sputtered.

“Sitting watching the Muller’s dog.” I shrugged.

“Why?”

“Who knows?” I groaned still trying to figure out my math problems.

“Ellie!” My mother beckoned my attention before giving my father a peck on the cheek. “Dinner will be ready in half an hour. Put your books away and get changed. I am not washing your uniform again this week.”

“I will,” I rolled my eyes. “I just need to finish this.”

“Don’t forget to set the table,” she added before disappearing back into the kitchen.

“Do I ever?” I grumbled under my breath.

“Don’t sass your mother,” Dad sternly cautioned me.

Our heads jerked when we heard Sammy speaking to someone. “Tell me that someone is out there with him?” Dad pleaded. I leaned over and pushed back the curtain.

“Yes there is,” I blew out with relief. My skin prickled when I discovered who was sitting next to my quirky kid brother.

“Thank goodness.”

“It’s a cheerleader,” I smirked as I stood while smoothing out my pleated skirt. “One of the Swenson twins.”

“Maybe there’s hope for the boy yet,” Dad smiled proudly.

‘Well the kid has good taste.’ I silently chuckled before making my way outside to save my fellow pom-pom waver from my creepy kid brother. I was stunned by the way the little booger was chatting away when I sat down next to her. By her polite demeanor and easy going attitude I knew which one she was.

“And it isn’t in his nature to be confined by a chain,” Sammy rattled on. “That’s why he keeps digging under the fence.”

“Scooter,” I interrupted not missing the scowl that formed on his tiny lips.

“It is okay,” Ginny waved off the interruption. “Sam here was just explaining why he thinks your neighbor’s dog is trying to make a break for it. Before that I learned all about the blue jay up in that tree over there. This little guy is a regular Dr. Doolittle.”

“Dr. Jekle is more like it,” I snarled glaring down at him. “You weren’t bothering my friend were you?”

“I was just talking to Ginny,” he blushed.

“How did you know it was me?” She teased ruffling his short red hair.

“Just did.” He mumbled with a blush.

Then I noticed where his little eyes were focused. “Oh creepy!” I blanched leaning over Ginny and smacking the little pervert in the head. “You little perv.”

“What?” Ginny laughed leaning further back.

“He was looking at your boobs,” I whispered in her ear.

“Was not.” He furiously denied.

“Was too.”

“So were you,” the little snot trumped me. I reached over Ginny’s body falling into her lap as I a made an attempt to throttle him.

“Uhm,” Ginny groaned nudging me off of her lap. “As good as that feels,” she panted with a blush. “Your neighbors might get the wrong idea. Could you kill him later? And you,” she turned and wagged her finger at Sammy. “Here I thought you only enjoyed studying wildlife. A word of advice little man when you are checking out chicks try not to be so obvious.”

“That’s not how I knew it was you,” he whined and we all knew he was lying. “Well it helped. But you’re nicer.”

“Thank you,” she laughed. “So Sam what’s it going to take to make you keep your trap shut?”

“Can I sit in your car?”

“Go ahead,” she waved. “Don’t worry I have the keys,” she whispered to me as Sammy bolted towards her car. I didn’t really pay attention to his squealing. I was far too busy trying to figure out the differences between Laurie and Ginny’s bust. “You know you can’t tell him not to do that then do it yourself.”

“You’re bigger,” I gloated. “Smart kid.”

She laughed heartily nudging me away. “Yes they are and yes he is,” she continued laughing. “He really knows a lot about wildlife.”

“Wildlife?” I mumbled the pieces falling into the place. “That makes me feel better I was beginning to worry about the neighborhood pets. So you didn’t have time to change either?” I questioned tugging on her skimpy cheerleading outfit.

“Home work,” she groaned. “Just when I finished mine Laurie was having problems with her math assignment so I did it for her. It’s a pain sometimes. She’s just as smart as me. Laurie just gets bored so she sticks me with her homework.”

“Oh?” I nodded while fighting against the urge to check out her bosom again. “Wait you finished it? The math assignment, you know how to figure out the answers?”

“Would you like help?”

“Yes,” I squealed clasping her by the hand pulling her to her feet before dragging her into the house.

“It’s gonna cost you,” she whimsically chimed while studying my notes. “Oh you are so close. Sit down and I’ll show you where you are taking a wrong turn.”

“So what’s this gonna cost me?” I questioned as she explained the problem to me.

“Well you know we have practice on Thursday afternoon and Friday night, and the game is on Saturday night,” she shyly began while carefully writing out my math problem. “Take this and move it down here.”

“Wow.” I gaped as the jumbled numbers suddenly made sense to me. “Okay you were saying we’re cheerleaders and have a busy weekend; go on.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to catch a flick on Sunday night.” She sheepishly requested.

“It’s a school night,” I groaned.

“I was thinking we could go see Bus Stop,” she whispered almost embarrassed. “I really want to see it.”

“Who doesn’t?” I beamed. “To bad Giant isn’t out yet. Rock Hudson and James Dean.”

“And Elizabeth Taylor,” she teased emphasizing her point by running the tip of her shoe along my calf.

“Oh yeah,” I agreed inhaling sharply from the feel of her foot teasing my leg. “Elizabeth Taylor,” I whispered in agreement thinking that Ginny’s eyes resembled the attractive actress’s’.

“You’re blushing,” she purred in a hushed tone.

“I can’t imagine why,” I choked out moving my leg out of her reach.

“Do you want to see the movie?”

“Of course I do,” I asserted. “It is supposed to be killer. It’s not playing in town, but it is playing at the movie house in Bedford and you do have a car. I guess if we catch the early show my folks won’t mind.”

“Uhm, I was kind of thinking we could catch it in Topsfield,” she hesitantly explained.

“Topsfield?” I shook my head completely confused as to why she would want to drive that far away to see the same movie we could catch one town over. “The only place to see a flick in Topsfield is at … The drive-in?” I fumed. “I don’t think so. I know the other night was … I don’t want to lead you on. The party was one thing, but a trip to the passion pit.” I was dealing fine with the events of the other night. Going from a little kissing to an outing at the drive-in was a huge leap.

“It’s not what you think,” she argued.

“Oh good cause I was thinking you were gonna try for a round of backseat bingo. But since you aren’t the pig that your sister is I guess I shouldn’t worry,” I grumbled keeping my voice low while praying that the folks had already started another pitcher of martinis. “So it would be a double date complete with a third wheel like the last time? Or are you bad news just like your sister? And is the drive-in still open this awfully late in the season?”

“It’s the last weekend it will be open. Ellen I swear I have a reason for suggesting the drive-in,” she blew out also keeping her voice low. “If we go to Bedford the rest of the gang will want to crash the party. Which always turns into a huge production trying to get everyone organized. If we ditch them and just go by ourselves they’ll be frosted that we didn’t invite them. I really want to see this movie without having to listen to what happened at the game the night before or who is dating who. It kind of makes it hard to follow the flick when the person next to you keeps jumping up so she can fix her lipstick.”

“Then go with your boyfriend,” I curtly informed her.

“Bobby and I broke up,” she shrugged as if it was no big deal. “Laurie is really into him and as of this afternoon he’s dating her now.”

“He’s been dating her for sometime only he didn’t know it,” I sneered.

“True,” she conceded. “Hey Laurie’s always been more into guys. When she finds one she’s interested in sometimes I give them a test drive.”

“Test drive? Are you talking about dating or looking for a new set of wheels?”

“Oh come on Ellen,” she tsked me. “First dates are a drag especially blind dates or fix ups. Ever go out with some guy you were sure was Rock Hudson and by the time the night was over he had turned into a real Pondexter? Or he’s terrific and you’re really nervous and act like a total nerd?”

“Let me think,” I muttered drumming my fingers against the table. “I started dating right after the folks let me pierce my ears so I’d have to say that sounds like every first date I’ve ever been on.”

“What if you could send someone in your place?” She concluded with a wry smirk. “Think of how many nerds you never would have had to share pizza with. Tell me you don’t think that is just a little cool?”

I had to admit it did sound kind of cool. Still there was something kind of grody about it as well. “Okay it would have saved me from Dale,” I finally threw in the towel. “I mean he was cute, and we’re talking Tyrone Power cute. Who knew he had a problem with B.O and when he tried to kiss me goodnight his tongue was huge and it kept flopping around like a fish trying to get back in the water. For guys like that I’d cash in on having a twin. Still what if you got out with the guy and you end up liking him?”

“Never mind that what about the movie?” She instantly shifted gears.

“You could ask another guy,” I pointed even though I was truly tempted by her offer. “There’s a whole long line of them who would sell their soul for the chance to go out with you.”

“Come on Ellen do you honestly believe that if I let some guy take me to the movie I’d get to see the movie?” She fussed. “If you got Ron to take you how much of the movie would you get to see?”

“The first ten minutes and the rest of the time I’d be trapped in a wrestling match,” I blew out. “But the drive-in?”

“I want to see the movie,” she stressed. “It is the only place it is showing that is far enough away that no one will know us.”

“You should join the debate team,” I responded dryly. “Still it is a school night.”

“Can’t be helped we’re cheerleaders which means our weekends belong to football,” she annoyingly pointed out.

I couldn’t argue with her logic still there was no way my folks were going to allow me to stay out so late on a school night. Just as I was about to decline my mother burst into the room bellowing. “Eleanore Roosevelt Druette why isn’t this table set?”

“Eleanore Roosevelt?” Ginny snickered.

“Shut up.” I hissed under my breath.

“Oh I’m sorry Ellie I didn’t realize you have company,” Mom gasped finally noticing my companion.

“Ellie?” Ginny snickered once again.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see you,” Mom frantically began pausing for a moment. “Laurie.”

“Ginny,” my guest politely corrected.

“However do your parents tell you apart,” Mom laughed.

“Years of practice,” Ginny smiled. “I’m sorry the table isn’t set Mrs. Druette. I was helping Eleanore with her math assignment. We were just finishing up.”

“No hurry,” Mom gushed. “Would you like to join us for dinner?”

“I’m afraid I can’t, but thank you for the offer,” Ginny sweetly declined. I just sat there watching the bizarre scene unfolding. “Eleanore are you all set with the assignment.”

“Yes thank you,” I sneered.

“About Sunday?” She boldly continued as she stood.

“Sunday?” Mom perked right up. I on the other hand had a lump in my throat about the size of Empire State Building.

“Eleanore and I were discussing driving up to the Topsfield fair and then maybe staying up there so we can catch Bus Stop at the Star,” Ginny innocently spun her tale. “Eleanore was concerned that you might not approve since it is a school night.”

“Oh that’s the new Marilyn Monroe movie,” Mom gushed once again. “Now I’m jealous. Still it is a school night. Oh I don’t see the harm.” Mom quickly dismissed any fears she might have possessed.

“What?” I choked.

“It’s a date then,” Ginny beamed.

“A date?” I fearfully echoed.

“What date?” My father demanded when he entered the room.

“Honey,” my mother placated him. “The girls want to go to the fair up in Topsfield this Sunday.”

“Oh.” He nodded with a smile.

“And they want to stay a little late to catch that new Marilyn Monroe movie at the Star,” Mom brightly concluded causing the vein in Dad’s forehead to throb.

“The Drive-In?” He bellowed hearing the two words that every teenaged girl’s father dreaded hearing, drive-in. “Who else is going? Not one of those shady characters you’ve been dating?”

“No Sir,” Ginny quickly jumped in before I had a chance to speak. “It will just be the two of us. I never go to the drive-in with boys.”

I sat there with my jaw hanging open. For half a moment I almost believed her.

“Oh,” Dad nodded thoughtfully stroking his chin. “Just you and Ellie?”

“Yes sir,” she vowed while I shook my head in disbelief.

“Well I guess that will be okay,” he agreed much to my horror. “But no shenanigans.”

“You have my word.” Ginny promised before turning to me with an amused look.

“Come on Svengali,” I groaned taking her by the hand. “I’ll walk you out.”

“Good I think I’ll need help prying Sam out of my car,” she laughed. “Have a good evening Mr. & Mrs. Druette.”

“What has Scooter done now?” Dad moaned.

“Nothing Sir,” Ginny once again jumped in. “I let him play in my car. Not to worry I have the keys so he can’t get into trouble.” She stressed holding up her key chain.

“Your car?” Dad beamed.

“Yes sir.”

“That’s the new Bel Air isn’t it?” He gushed. “The two toned red and white convertible?”

“Yes sir.”

“Why don’t I go fetch Scooter?” He quickly volunteered dashing out the front door before anyone could stop him.

“Men and their cars,” Mom laughed. “Uhm, girls? Not to sound like a worry wart but it will just be the two of you won’t it?”

“Yeah Ma,” I sighed.

“Ellie I was just asking and I think the word you meant to use was yes,” she smiled. “Just promise to drive safely.”

“Amazing,” I blew out when we stepped out on the porch. Dad and Sammy were far too busy playing in Ginny’s car to notice us. “You just convinced my uptight parents to let me go out on a date with you.”

“I wasn’t lying,” she whispered. “I want to see the movie with you. I promise I’m not going to hit on you.” For some odd reason I felt disappointed. “Did you really call Laurie a switchback?”

“No,” I grimaced. “She used that word only proceeded by I’m not a,”

“That sounds like her,” Ginny smirked. “She’s not. Well not really.”

“What about you?” I tenderly inquired not surprised when she turned pale and clenched her jaw.

“I Uhm,” she hesitated. “I’m kind of confused.”

“Yeah me too,” I muttered jumping slightly when someone honked the convertible’s horn.

“If you don’t want to go on Sunday I’ll understand,” she graciously offered.

“No I want to go,” I couldn’t help but smile. “Hey what’s the first flick?” I questioned since drive-ins always showed two films one that was usually lame and then the feature.

“Invasion Of The Body Snatchers.”

“Yuck.” I cringed.

“I know,” she sighed. “Why do they always make you sit through a turkey before they show the good flick? So I’ll pick you up early on Sunday unless you have church?”

“My family only goes to church for four reasons, weddings, funerals, baptisms and of course, Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.” I laughed.

“Sounds like my family,” she laughed along with me. “Okay I’ll pick you up at nine. We can drive up, see the fair, then grab a bite and hit the drive-in. Hey do you think we’ll ever get your Dad and Sam out of my car?”

“Not a chance.” I sighed realizing that I was still holding her hand. It was hard to release her hand from my grasp but somehow I managed. “See you in class tomorrow.”

“Later alligator,” she called back making her way to her car. “Hey guys can I have my car back?”

The next few days were torture. I couldn’t keep my mind on track. Last weekend I had swum in very dangerous waters. And I liked it. Now in just a few days I’d be taking the plunge again. Or would I? Ginny did present a plausible case that her motives were completely on the up and up. The other afternoon I was convinced that she wasn’t on the prowl.

The more I thought about her reasons for not wanting the hoopla of a group outing the less they rang true. Still she had been so sincere. She wanted to see the movie with me and me alone. If she was a guy that would spell date. Ginny Swenson was most definitely all woman. I had seen her in varying stages of undress in the locker room more than enough times to confirm that. Ah yes another troubling thought that had been stirring since my little romp in Laurie’s Chevy. It is a bit shocking to discover that all those shy glances and sneaking peeks at my classmates in the locker room weren’t entirely innocent. I mean everyone looked to see what someone was wearing or to chat. The first day of PE that fall I broke out in a rash when I realized I wasn’t just looking, I was looking.

I went from being a Chatty Cathy who would linger to a mute who got in and out of her clothes faster than a jackrabbit in heat. Then I’d bolt for the nearest exit. No one questioned the sudden change in my normally out going behavior. Still I got some very odd looks.

Sunday was coming all too quickly. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was going on a date. But it wasn’t a date. It was just hitting a flick with a friend. A friend who I had sucked face with. That is when I really became unraveled. Every time I thought about how I had kissed Ginny I was lost. It wasn’t simply that I had willingly kissed her. No it was thinking about her kisses. Oh I knew why I had kissed her again. Just thinking about it made me swoon like a love sick puppy.

I would get dizzy and blush every time I thought about her. Gym class was no help. When you’re on the pep squad you spend the gym class working on routines. It really ticked off the other girls in our class. They had to endure rope climbing and jumping jacks while we did cartwheels and worked on shaking our pom-poms.

Miss Piper and Miss Laurent were our gym teachers. They also coached the pep squad, so they made us work on our routines during class. Our peers made the mistake of assuming that we were getting special treatment. The truth was what we did was far more physically demanding than having to run laps. They just assumed that we ran out onto the sidelines and bounced around. They never understood that what we did was well choreographed. Our moves had to be sharp, snappy and quick. You had to literally lift another girl off the ground, do back flips, cartwheels while remembering never to bend your wrists, lock your elbows, and keeping your arms stiff while synchronizing your motions.

Little things that I could do in my sleep. Not that week. Ironic that Ginny was almost always beneath me lifting me in the air during most of our routines. I never thought about it before that week just how many times Ginny’s hand was placed firmly on my ass. More than once she almost dropped me because I couldn’t focus. Poor Miss Piper kept pulling me aside asking if I was okay. Ginny was no help. She’d just smirk and give me a coy look.

“Are you distracted by something?” Ginny had the bad manners to whisper one morning. “You do know Laurie is supposed to be on this side. We could always switch back.”

“Yeah I’ve noticed,” I bit back a rash of comments the word invoked.

“You know what I mean,” Ginny toyed with me. “I could move to another spot.” She turned serious.

“No,” I shook it off. I leaned in so our words couldn’t be heard. “You’ve had your hand up my skirt for over a year now. Why change?”

“Does it bother you?” She sheepishly inquired.

“Wish it did.” I whimpered meekly.

“Ladies?” Miss Piper called for our attention. “Ellen I really need you to focus.”

I just nodded somehow managing to clear my head of the bizarre thoughts that had been plaguing me. It was a long week. Thankfully by the time the game started on Saturday I was more concerned that I might injure myself or someone else than the troublesome thought that Ginny’s hand was up my skirt. There was something I noticed the day of the game. All week in school not once did the twins dress alike. Given my sudden fascination with the twins it was nice knowing exactly which one I was talking to. There had been some fumbling on the sidelines. I was just happy that it was Betsy, the newest member of the squad, who missed her step.

That night Sandy’s parents had the bad manners to stay home. So we invaded Buddy Burgers. Ron was on my arm and completely clueless that the only thing I was thinking about was what would happen the following night. The poor guy. Ron was the perfect date catering to my every whim. The only bump in the road came when he asked to take me out on Sunday. I could tell he was a little hurt when I quickly blew out that I had plans. I didn’t even have the manners to explain what my plans were. Nope I just said, ‘Sorry I’m busy.’ It wasn’t just the quickness of my words it was the underlying brush off lurking in the tone of my voice.

We hadn’t been dating long enough for me to start blowing him off. Passing up on a chance to spend more time with him broke the chain of what was acceptable. At that point, the early stages where you just become a couple, I was expected to jump through hoops just to see him. I just couldn’t bring myself to play by the rules. I felt like a rat when he wrapped his jacket around me when he arrived to pick me up that night. I knew what it meant when I walked into Buddy’s wearing his jacket. We were officially a couple.

He seemed happy though; unaware that I was already mentally tallying the days. Counting down to when it would be socially acceptable for me to give his jacket back. I grimaced when I counted off how many dances and parties were coming up. I liked Ron, he liked me, and we had fun together. I felt like a jumbo rat. Ron was a nice guy who had no idea that I was using him simply to fulfill my social obligations.

“Who cares? We won, they lost and we looked good,” Margie boasted cuddling closer to Mark. “Baby, buy me a milkshake.” He just nodded dutifully and headed off to the counter.

“I didn’t look good,” Betsy the newest member of the squad whined slumping down in the booth.

“It was just one step,” I tried to comfort her.

“Couldn’t see it from the field,” Ron encouraged wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I leaned into his touch my body stiffening slightly. I really did try to make myself feel comfortable. It just felt awkward.

“We can work with you,” Margie volunteered.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “No big deal.”

“How about Sunday?” Margie suggested. “I’m free after church and the family dinner. The shop is closed so Ellen doesn’t have to work.”

“What’s shaking?” A familiar voice beckoned as she plopped down across from me tossing her pack of Camels on the table. I almost reached over to steal one. With one quick glance into her eyes and a peek at her chest I knew this wasn’t the Swenson sister who liked to share her cigarettes. When Bobby took his place by her side it confirmed my suspicions.

“Have one of mine,” Ginny volunteered almost reading my mind while handing me the pack and sliding into the booth so she ended up sitting next to me. Looking back on it I think that Ginny really liked to share her cigarettes because she didn’t like to smoke. But back then we thought it looked cool. If you wanted to look cool you had to act cool.

My hands were shaking when I took a smoke and tried to light it. There was something disconcerting about sitting between Ron and Ginny. “Let me help?” Ginny tenderly offered cupping my hand and lighting my cigarette. She looked calm when she lit her own smoke. Still I felt her trembling slightly. I kept reminding myself that Ginny and I were just friends and that was it. I tried to stop shaking, but I could feel Laurie watching me and her mirror image.

“Get us some cokes.” Laurie sternly instructed Bobby her eyes still locked on me and Ginny. Bobby simply nodded his head and went off. I didn’t miss the longing glance he snuck in Ginny’s direction.

‘Yeah bucko you really picked the wrong sister,’ I silently commiserated. I also thought there wasn’t one guy including my steady Ron sitting in the booths we had taken over who hadn’t metaphorically been castrated by his pom-pom waving girlfriend. Just as I began to question why we treated the guys so badly Ginny’s hand brushed against my thigh and suddenly my mind went blank. Secretly I relished her sneaky maneuver. When I finally stopped my body from quivering I became aware that the Swenson girls were quiet; much too quiet. I looked up shivering slightly feeling the tension literally rolling off their bodies.

“So about Sunday,” Margie tentatively began watching the twins engage in a silent stand off. Still not speaking they just sat there smoking and throwing daggers at one another.

“Sunday?” Laurie drolly inquired.

“I have a family thing.” I lied.

“What about you guys?” Margie squeaked out.

“Sure what did you have in mind?” Laurie questioned still glaring at Ginny.

“Betsy needs a little help with some of the routines.” Margie explained.

“No kidding,” Laurie snorted. “Yeah sure Sunday is fine with us.”

“I have plans.” Ginny spat out.

“Just when did you make plans?” Laurie demanded.

“Awhile ago.” Ginny groaned.

“What are you doing?” Laurie flared.

“None of your bees wax,’ Ginny hissed clenching her teeth. “I don’t tell you everything.”

“Since when?” Laurie shouted.

“Now.” Ginny taunted her.

I shrank back since I really didn’t want to know what was going on. The rest of the table seemed to agree with me and started looking at the ceiling, the floor and the menus which we could probably recite backwards. Ginny folded her arms across her chest her stare turning icy. Laurie returned her glare and added drumming her fingers on the table. Now that was hard to ignore. We all ended up watching her long fingers beating a rapid rhythm on the linoleum table. “So you can’t make it to practice tomorrow either?” She questioned me without giving me the courtesy of looking in my direction.

“I have plans with my family,” I slowly and fearfully answered.

“Do you now?” She snarled.

“She just said she did.” Ginny snapped.

“Really important plans,” I sheepishly offered while shuffling all knives and forks on the table out of their reach.

“Some one die?” Laurie tersely added.

“Not yet.” Ginny hissed.

“Outside.” Laurie growled under her breath.

“You got it,” Ginny snarled jumping from her seat.

“Gin,” I gasped. It was too late the door was already slamming shut.

“What the hell was that about?” Candy sputtered.

“Should I ask?” Bobby squeaked out standing beside the table with a round of cokes.

“No.” Mark sternly remarked.

“I’d just sit and wait it out,” Ron wisely suggested.

“And this is what happens when you switch boyfriends,” Margie misguidedly surmised.

“Ginny dumped me,” Bobby whimpered.

“So you asked her sister out?” I stammered. Even though I knew the truth I was still surprised that Bobby had willingly traded one sister for the other.

“Well, uhm, not really,” he sputtered. “I was hanging out by myself at the field feeling crummy since Ginny had just dumped me. Next thing I knew Laurie was sitting next to me. But Ginny said it was cool.”

“And you believed her?” Betsy laughed. Even at her tender young age she knew better.

“Oh course she minds,” Margie groaned. “Even if she doesn’t want you trust me she doesn’t want you to date her sister. You guys really can be stupid sometimes.”

I almost started to laugh. Under normal and sane circumstances Margie and Betsy’s assumptions would have been right on the money. I was the only one who knew that this situation was neither normal nor was it anywhere close to the realm of sanity. Ginny didn’t give a rat’s ass that Bobby was dating her sister. She gave Bobby a test drive and handed him off to her sister. It was all part of their world. Laurie doesn’t get stuck with a dud and Ginny has a man on her arm just long enough to keep people from talking.

“You have no idea how vindictive sisters can be,” Margie continued unaware that my thoughts were a million miles away. “One time I borrowed Hannah’s cashmere sweater without asking and that night while I was sleeping she shaved off my eyebrows.”

“Hey that was freshman year,” Ron laughed. “Everyone thought you had just kind of flipped out.”

“Help me out here Ellen,” Margie groaned. “Explain to these guys that a chick may say that they are cool with something, but in reality she’s pissed.”

“Yeah later,” I mumbled sliding out of the booth. “I’m going out to the parking lot to make sure that the Swenson girls haven’t turned into a solo act.”

I don’t know what I expected to find when I went outside. They were screaming at one another at the top of their lungs which was much better than the carnage I had envisioned. Thankfully their words were just vague enough so that anyone listening would assume that it was Bobby they were fighting over. Even I couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t the subject of their anger.

“You creamed my car you bitch,” Laurie screamed in horror.

My step faltered when I spied the huge dent in the back fender of Laurie’s car. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out how or why Ginny had done it. I also couldn’t understand why Laurie was throwing a fit. So Ginny made plans to do something without her? Just because they had been born on the same day she couldn’t expect Ginny to clear each and every social engagement with her.

“I’m gonna cream more than your car if you don’t drop it,” Ginny threatened. “This isn’t a game. I won’t do that anymore.”

I felt good that Ginny was calling an end to their twisted little game. I also felt a little proud that Ginny was sticking up for herself. It was at that moment I came to the realization that ever since I met them Laurie spoke and Ginny followed. “Ding! Round over!” I shouted shooing the curious on lookers away. “Well this has been a blast.” I chided the both of them. The fight was boarding on the ridiculous and I was more than a little worried that someone might say something stupid.

“Just stay out of this,” Laurie growled. “You frigid,”

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Ginny snapped.

“She started this.” Laurie blared.

“Fine go ahead tear each other apart,” I threw up my hands in defeat. “I’m sure everyone here is gonna love watching a chick fight. Personally I’m going home.” I spun around having had my say. What ever drama was going on I was sick of being dragged into it. For the life of me I failed to see why Laurie was so upset. I liked hanging out with Ginny. Ginny liked hanging out with me. So why was Laurie acting like I was about to drop the H bomb on her house?

“Say hi to your boyfriend.” Laurie laughed cruelly.

I was beet red when I spun around. I was ready to rip her a new one when I saw the look of defeat clearly written on Ginny’s face. “What’s wrong Ginny?” Laurie gloated. “Who did you think was driving her home?”

I felt like my heart was being ripped out. Then I saw the self satisfying smirk Laurie was sporting and something inside of me snapped. “You’re right. I’m a freak just like the two of you. Big dif between us though; I’m not putting my defects on display for the whole school to see. The two of you are a hairs breath from a full marching band and a play by play of your exploits narrated by Curt Gowdy.”

Strange that my words didn’t make any sense to me, but somehow it stopped them from fighting. They both leaned against Laurie’s car cooling their jets. My only reasonable explanation was Pod People. Ginny smiled at me and Laurie made the mistake of sneering at me. Yeah she just shouldn’t have done that. Everything was calm and no one blurted out anything that would embarrass or ruin any of our lives. But it was that sneer, she could press her lips so tightly together that they practically disappeared and the look of disdain that always went along with it just gnawed at me. So I just had to throw a fresh match on the fire. “Speaking of differences,” I tersely began narrowing my gaze. “Laurie there is something you should know,” I sincerely began keeping my voice low so none of the other kids lurking around the parking lot could hear what I was about to say. “Ginny is a much better kisser than you are.”

“Hey!” Laurie snarled. “No way.”

“Way.” I assured her. ‘What the hell it was the truth.’

“Told you.” Ginny gloated pressing her tongue in her cheek.

“I refuse to believe that,” Laurie flatly denied. “It’s not possible.”

Then they looked at one another for a long moment before they started laughing. They just laughed and laughed not giving a hoot that they looked like complete lunatics. Suddenly I was very happy that my only sibling was an eight year boy whose only interests were bugs and boobs. I was pretty sure that he would outgrow at least one of those hobbies. “Do I even want to know what the two of you were fighting about?” I questioned completely confused by how quickly they calmed down.

“It was lame.” Ginny shrugged.

“Totally.” Laurie agreed.

“Okay.” I shrugged.

“So are we still on for tomorrow?” Ginny shyly inquired.

“Yeah,” I smiled in return.

“I knew it,” Laurie huffed.

“Good now drop it.” I groaned.

“It’s not what you think,” Ginny quickly corrected her.

“It’s cool, it’s cool,” Laurie babbled. “I’m just not used to you making plans without me.”

“I wasn’t, I knew you’d end up making plans with Bobby.” Ginny calmly explained.

Laurie seemed to accept Ginny’s explanation. Still I sensed something brewing in her eyes. I decided it really was time for me to back off and just let them deal with it. Since the shouting match had ended I felt confident that no one was about to be harmed either verbally or physically. It was time for me to head back to the diner understanding that if I had stayed it would only set Laurie off again.

“Well I’ll just go back inside,” I excused myself since it appeared they were about to begin a civil conversation.

When I got back inside I informed the gang that the twins had made up and it was probably just a visit from Aunt Flo. This news seemed to depress the bejesus out of Bobby. The following morning I was getting ready for my big day out. Even though I knew that Ginny was just a friend I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was preparing for a big date. It was still early yet I found myself constantly looking out the window. “Now what is he doing out there?” I sighed after spotting Sammy sitting on the front porch. “Is it the car or the size of her boobies?” I wondered aloud. “I knew which one it is for me.” I quietly confessed. “Hells bells what am I saying?”

“What cha’ doing Scooter?” I asked taking a seat beside him on the front stoop. I had gotten tired of pacing around my room. I was dressed and had a spare coat and was more than ready to go.

“Waiting.” He sighed.

“For?”

“Ginny,” he giggled. “Who is Dr. Doolittle?”

“He’s a character in a book who can talk to animals,” I explained. “So why are you waiting for Ginny? You know we can’t take you to the fair. We are staying up there really late?”

“I just want to.”

“You got a crush on her?” I taunted him.

“No suh,” he lied.

“Yes suh,” I taunted him.

“I don’t.”

“Yes you do,” I teased him further before I began a serious tickle fest.

“Well that looks like fun,” she interrupted us in a curt tone. Sammy and I jumped up each eager to see her. I don’t know what it was but she seemed sullen. “We should hit the road.” She bluntly offered without even greeting Sammy. The poor little guy’s head slumped. If I didn’t know better I would have sworn that all of his ants had died.

“Uhm yeah just a sec,” I said a little uncertain. I took her by the hand and led her to the garage away from prying eyes. I was almost certain but her dark mood was scaring me. I was fearful that the twins had worked out their differences with some kind of twisted arrangement.

“What?” She sighed tersely.

“I just need to be sure,” I tried to explain wrapping my arms around her neck.

“What are you doing?” She whispered softly wrapping her arms around my waist.

“It’s just the way you are acting,” I stammered closing the distance between us. “I need to know this isn’t another game.”

“It’s me,” she seeming miffed by what I was suggesting.

“There is only one way I can be absolutely certain,” I stressed. “Kiss me.”

“Well if I have to,” she gloated.

“Just one kiss,” I cautioned her. “This is only a test Sport.”

She smiled and I knew before her lips claimed mine that it really was her. I was instantly swept up in the feel of her lips caressing mine. Before I knew what was happening our tongues were teasing one another until my knees buckled. “Okay,” I gasped for air breaking away from her tender embrace. “Nice to see you Ginny. So what is wrong?”

“Nothing,” she frowned. “It was just the fight Laurie and I got into last night. It kind of carried over to this morning. Sorry if I’m acting like a drag.”

“Forget it,” I smiled stepping away from her fearful that I would be tempted to make another pass at her. “But could you say hi to Sammy it would make his day.”

“Sure thing.” She beamed.

The fair was a hoot and dinner was really nice so why did I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. The only reasonable explanation was I was sitting in Ginny’s Chevy at a very dark drive-in miles away from anyone we knew. Other than that things were perfect. We had popcorn, sodas and the cartoons had begun. Oh and the scent of her perfume was driving me crazy.

“More popcorn?” She offered innocently. I jumped when she handed me the bucket.

“Sorry,” I gulped brushing the popcorn off of my skirt.

“What’s up?”

“Sorry,” I echoed now brushing popcorn off of her lap. When I realized what I was doing I jerked my hand away.

“Ellen,” her voice was serious. “I meant what I said I’m not going to hit on you.”

“I know,” I whimpered handing the bucket back to her. There were too many emotions swirling inside of me.

“Come on Eleanore out with it,” she teased giving me a playful nudge.

“I meant what I said too,” I smiled thankful she couldn’t see my blush in the darkness. “I’m confused. And don’t call me Eleanore you creep.”

“Creep?” She gasped guarding the popcorn when I tried to snag a handful. “I resemble that remark. The movie is starting.”

“Oh yes Invasion of the Body Snatchers, I can’t see this one enough.” I chuckled. “I wonder if it is going to better this time? Why do guys like scary movies?”

“They like taking chicks to scary movies,” she corrected me finally relinquishing the popcorn. “They think we’ll get all scared and crawl all over them.”

“Silly creatures,” I shook my head. “So how did Laurie take the news that you’re a better kisser?”

“She’s pissed,” Ginny beamed. “So pissed that she stole my purse.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Because my cash and ID and my best lipstick are in it,” Ginny groaned.

“Cash and killer lipstick I get, but your ID? What good will that do?” I questioned munching on more popcorn. “Neither of you are over twenty-one.”

“She does that sometimes,” Ginny grumbled. “It means she’s planning on doing something evil or stupid or possibly both. This way if she gets bagged she can blame it on me. I had to take her ID and hit my Dad up for money.”

“She’s done this before?”

“Yeah,” she hesitated. “Before we could drive she’d use my library card or just say she was me. Uhm, that is kind of why we’ve moved around so much over the past couple of years. I have a record.”

“Hold on,” I cut her off. “What do you mean?”

“I got off,” she shrugged. “Daddy and his lawyers took care of things. I only had to spend a night or two in jail. Since I’m a juvenile my record will be sealed. First few times it was for stupid things like shop lifting or drinking. The last couple of times were more serious. All I got was a slap on the wrist. But word got out and we had to move.”

“And everyone thinks you did it?”

“She’s my sister,” her defense was half hearted at best. “I can’t explain what it is like being a twin. You just stand by each other. When we were kids we even had our own language. We got even closer after our brother Nat died in Korea. He always looked out for us. We thought he looked so grown up in his uniform. Let’s just watch the movie.” She quickly shifted gears. “It’s not often I get to go to the movies with Eleanore Roosevelt. Then again how often can you say you went to the drive-in with a jailbird?”

“You’re a real cut up Swenson,” I scoffed tossing popcorn at her. Surprised when she jumped slightly.

“Sorry Pod People.” She winced.

“You’re not scared are you?” I snickered.

“No,” she denied jumping once again.

“Haven’t you seen this movie before?”

“Yes,” she squeaked. “It just creeps me out a little. Maybe it is the whole looking alike thing.”

“Not to fear I’ll protect you,” I promised with a light laugh snuggling a little closer to the nervous blonde. “If you get scared you can just,”

“Just what?” She questioned turning to me looking nervous.

‘Now that was the $64,000 dollar question!’ My mind screamed while I pondered just what my real intentions were? That had been bugging me ever since she suggested the trip. I wasn’t worried about what she might do. I was terrified about what I might do. In a blink of an eye I decided to stop thinking and just let my heart guide me. I couldn’t stop myself. It was just like the night of the party. The all encompassing feeling of joy had returned in full force. I was too weak to question or argue with it. I placed the popcorn bucket on the floor and slid closer to her. I wrapped my arms around her waist nestling my body against hers.

“This. You could do this,” I whispered against her lips before capturing Ginny in smoldering kiss. I loved the way her lips tasted; the feel of her hands caressing my body and the way her body trembled from my touch.

I began to unbutton her blouse pushing her down on the seat. We giggled when our bodies collided with the steering wheel. I loomed over her my hand shaking as I reached down and cupped one of her breasts. It was so soft except her nipple which was straining against the lacy material of her bra. I was fascinated by the way her nipple puckered against my touch.

My caresses grew bolder my body quivered when I felt her trembling beneath me. I nuzzled her neck kissing her tenderly my hand never straying from the delightful feel of her breast. My kisses drifted lower soon I was tracing the swell of her breasts with my tongue. I could feel her hands caressing my backside guiding me closer to her. I brushed the lacy material aside revealing her rose colored nipple. My lips were instantly drawn to the erect bud. I captured it between my lips mesmerized by the feel of it hardening when I suckled it.

“Ellen.” She moaned deeply her body arching and grinding against my own.

My hips fell into a wild rhythm matching her urgent pace; her hands caressing me slipping beneath my skirt and cupping my bottom. I could feel her wetness on my thigh while she pressed against my passion. “Oh Ellen,” she repeated with a throaty growl my teeth nipping at her nipple while my free hand discovered her other breast. The car began to rock and our hands began exploring dangerous areas. I never stopped to think that I was the one who had made the first move. Or how I was encouraging things to happen; things that normally I would have fought tooth and nail to stop from happening. I began kissing her again giving into the feel of her body wriggling against mine. Suddenly she was pulling away.

“We have to stop,” she whimpered.

“We do?” I sighed with regret. Now that was a switch. Usually I’m the one insisting that my companion back off.

“Ellen,” she murmured cupping my face in her hands and capturing me in a smoky gaze. “You are so beautiful and very special.”

“You think I’m beautiful?” I gushed allowing her to guide me away from her body.

“Oh yeah,” she smiled brightly. “And special.” She stressed as she buttoned her blouse. “If we don’t stop now we won’t.”

I stifled a groan knowing what she was saying was the truth. “If this, what ever this is goes any further do you really want it to happen in my car?”

“No,” I smiled brushing the back of my fingers against her cheek. “So we watch the movie.”

“Well we could make out a little,” she taunted me with a quick kiss. “So long as one of us remembers to stop.”

With all the twists and turns and generally bizarre events I had encountered with the Swenson girls this by far was the nicest. Ginny was a lady. If she hadn’t already won me over with her charm, wit and striking good looks having a high regard for my virtue was the icing on the cake. “I can’t believe that I just pounced on you.” I timidly confessed snuggling up against her. “I never act like this.”

“I’m not complaining,” she smiled wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “I just like to take things slow.”

Now we all know that despite the fact that the Invasion of the Body Snatchers is now considered a classic it wasn’t the movie we wanted to watch. So we did what any normal teenagers did at a drive-in we made out. It was difficult to slow my advances. If I could have harnessed the way she made me feel just from kissing I could have gotten a man on the moon long before Neil Armstrong joined the space program. As good as we tried to be our heated kissing often led us into dangerous waters.

Caressing hands often finding their way into the other’s lingerie. We never completely undressed still I discovered how good it felt to stroke another woman’s throbbing clit. To feel her desire painting my skin to feel her hands exploring parts of my anatomy that I had never explored. Time and time again we teetered on the edge tempted to give into our hedonistic desires. The only saving grace was that each time one of us was about to forget our promise to take things slowly the other had the good sense to pull away.

When the first flick ended we used the intermission as an opportunity to cool off. The only thing that kept my frustrated body from exploding was the knowledge that this was only the beginning. Ginny was right; I didn’t want my first time to be in her car. Not only did the idea lack romance it was eerily similar to what I had shared with her sister. During Bus Stop we cuddled. It was the longest most frustrating cuddle I had ever endured. I finally understood what a guy meant when he said he had blue balls. Thank the heavens that Bus Stop was a truly killer flick. If it had sucked I doubt I’d still be a virgin by the time I got home. I still failed to grasp what was happening. Being with Ginny was like diving into a shark tank with a ham tied around your neck. It wasn’t an unfamiliar position for me to be in. Guys can be very persuasive. The very distinct difference this time was I wasn’t the hapless swimmer. I was one of the sharks.

“Thanks for tonight I had great time.” I sighed wistfully while I rolled up my window.

“Thanks for coming,” she smiled sweetly still leaning against the seat so she could look into my eyes. I inched closer when she brushed her fingers against my cheek. Kissing her seemed like the most natural thing in the world to do. I just needed to taste her lips one more time; to feel her tongue slipping between my lips and I just had to fill my hand with her breast. Everything inside of me was tingling when our bodies wrapped around one another’s. The kiss deepening soft groans filling the tiny space we were sharing.

My head was spinning when she pulled away. “It is getting late,” she choked out. “Time to make like a banana and split.” I nodded my head and cuddled up against her. The ride home was probably the most romantic ride I had ever experienced. We didn’t speak I just rested my head on her shoulder and held her hand the whole way home. I was in heaven.

“Stop here,” I whispered when she turned into my driveway.

“I was going to walk you to the door,” she graciously explained.

“I just wanted to say goodnight in a proper manner,” I innocently quipped.

“So by that you mean I should ditch you at the end of your driveway?”

“No,” I laughed. “Dad never trims the hedges down here. No one can see us. Not the neighbors, not my folks and most importantly not my creepy little brother. I wish I could kiss you goodnight at the front door but I don’t think that will go over too well.”

“No kidding,” she laughed. “I have no intention of spending another night in jail or trying to out run your father. Thank you again for going out with me.”

“No thank you,” I corrected her slipping my arms around her neck. “This was the best date I’ve ever been on. It was a date wasn’t it?” I suddenly panicked. ‘How could this be a date? She’s a girl!’ My mind tried to make sense out of things. ‘No, no I don’t care if it sounds crazy this was a date. A really great date.’ I giddily accepted still harboring fears that Ginny might not view things in the same light.

“Our first,” she grinned like a kid at Christmas. “I’m hoping that there will be a second date,” she added with a gulp.

“So am I.” I gushed.

“Well.”

“Well,” I echoed licking my lips my eyes locked on hers. “Goodnight.”

“Good night,” she whispered drawing me closer before kissing my lips tenderly. Then another sweet kiss leading to a third which unleashed our passion. The windows fogged up when I began a slow exploration of her mouth while our hands began roaming. This time I was the one who pulled away.

“Whew now I understand why guys need a cold shower every now and then,” I panted heavily thankful that she put the car in gear and headed up to the top of the driveway. I blushed when she got out and opened the door for me and escorted me to the front porch. We laughed when the front light blinked on. “I swear they never sleep.”

“Are you sure they can’t see the end of the driveway?” She questioned with in a hushed whisper.

“I’m positive.”

“Good,” she blew out with relief tugging on my scarf. “You might want to keep that covered.” She blushed.

I turned beet red when I realized that she was covering up a hickey. “Thanks again.”

“Good night I’ll see you in school tomorrow.” She sighed.

“See you tomorrow.” I waved waiting for her to pull away. When I stepped into the house I leaned against the door grinning like an idiot.

“Did you girls have fun?” My Dad’s voice boomed from the living room.

“A blast and a half,” I blurted out before darting up the staircase and hiding in my bedroom.

“That must have been some family get together,” Laurie snarled after sneaking up on me in the girls’ room. I jerked away when she reached for my scarf. “You know the last time I spent the day with my family I didn’t come home with a hickey the size of Texas. Funny thing Ginny said she went for a long drive yesterday and today she’s wearing a turtle neck.”

“Drop dead.” I snarled trying to push past her.

“I don’t think so cupcake,” she hissed grabbing me by my upper arms and backing me into a corner.

“Stop it.” I barked while trying to shove her off me. “I said no.” I fumed when she leaned in to kiss me. It didn’t stop her from rubbing her body against mine. I was frightened and not just by the thought that someone would walk in. There was something in her eyes that chilled me to the bone. “Stop.” I repeated finally managing to send her sliding across the floor. Just as Laurie landed on her ass Margie waltzed into the bathroom.

“Should I ask?” She gulped watching Laurie scrambling to her feet.

“The floor is wet be careful.” Laurie calmly uttered her lie.

“Oh?” Margie scrunched her brow before checking her make up in the mirror.

“Eleanore was just telling me about her family outing,” Laurie snidely began joining us in front of the mirrors.

“Eleanore?” I gasped turning white as sheet.

“Yeah how was it?” Margie asked unaware that I was about to throw up. “A real drag or what?”

“Yes tell us?” Laurie gloated with an evil smirk.

“You know how it is,” I answered my voice trembling with each word.

“No I don’t tell us?” Laurie’s icy voice encouraged.

“Nothing to tell.” I spat out.

“Hey who is Ginny dating?” Margie suddenly questioned.

“No one special.” Laurie answered flashing me a snide look.

“Not special?” Margie laughed while my stomach churned. “Come on it is like summer outside and she’s wearing a turtleneck. Now either she’s lost all sense of fashion or she had a date last night.”

“Like I said no one special,” Laurie gloated.

“Hey Bobby was looking for you,” Margie added.

Laurie didn’t say a word she just made a tsking sound with her tongue. She thrust her hands on her hips before spinning around and storming out of the bathroom. “Is it just me or is Laurie turning into a real bitch lately?” Margie questioned shaking her head.

“Oh no she’s going for the spot of Queen B this year.”

“Uhm under the heading of none of my business,” she cautiously began eying me closely. “Mark and I ran into Ron last night.”

“And?”

“And if I were you I’d find a bigger scarf or avoid him until that thing heals,” she frowned before handing me the scarf to add to my neck. “Looks lame.”

“This sucks.” I whined trying to arrange the two mismatched scarves so I wouldn’t look like a complete idiot or worse a tramp.

“So you gonna tell me who Dracula is?” She gleefully pried.

“I can’t,” I cringed.

“Well this day blows,” she snarled just as the bell rang. “Speaking of which time for Civics class.”

“With Laurie,” I groaned. “Oh joy.”

After successfully avoiding my boyfriend and snarly comments all day I left school and went straight to work. I had a fascinating job of stacking books and working the cash register at Dyer’s Books the only bookstore in our little hub. I was on edge trying to rid my mind of the memory of Laurie trying to assault me in the girl’s room. I thought Sammy’s creepy fascination with bugs was the weirdest thing I had ever seen until that afternoon. Laurie’s actions scared me. When I changed into my smock and saw the bruises she left on my arms I almost started to cry. I pulled down the sleeves and tried to pull myself together.

“Hey there.” She greeted me with a shy smile placing a book on the counter. “I didn’t see you today.”

“Sorry,” I felt light headed just seeing her smile. “I was laying low.”

“Oh?”

“I wasn’t trying to ditch you,” I whispered ringing up her purchase. “It’s Ron. I, Uhm, don’t know if I could explain just how my neck was attacked by a Hoover while I was spending the day with my parents.”

“Gotcha,” she cringed tugging on the collar of her turtleneck.

“And what are we reading today?” I tease her. “Peyton Place? Been sneaking into the backroom again? Well I know that one isn’t for class. I’m not supposed to sell it to you, but since I like you I’ll make an exception. You’ll like it by the way.” I prattle on while ringing up the sale.

“Thanks, I ran out things to read,” she confessed in a hushed tone. “Don’t let it get out that I read just for fun.”

“You’re secret is safe with me,” I pledge. “So do I. It’s one of the reasons I took this job.”

“It must be great getting to read all the new stuff first,” Ginny smiled. “What’s this one?” She questioned picking up the book I had set aside to buy at the end of my shift. “The Voyages of Doctor Doolittle.”

“It’s for Scooter,” I laughed snatching the book back. “After you called him Dr. Doolittle he was curious. I thought I’d surprise him with it. Then again he might just have pretended to be interested because he has a crush on you.”

“He does?”

“What did you think it was the car?” I laughed placing her book in a brown paper bag.

“Or my boobs,” she dryly stated.

“Can’t blame him for that,” I sigh sneaking a peek at her chest.

“Now who is getting fresh,” she whispered her eyes darkening with desire as she leaned over the counter teasing me. “Can I let you in on a couple of secrets?”

“Yes,” I inhale sharply fighting against the temptation to reach over and grab her.

“First I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Oh don’t do that to me,” I whimper looking around the almost empty shop. “Just tell me the other secret unless of course it is randier than the first.”

She laughed stepping away from the counter. “Your kid brother confided in me that he really hates all those goofy nicknames your family saddled him with.” She said with a knowing smile. “But he swore me to secrecy so you can’t tell him I squealed.”

“I promise,” I hold up my hand. “So what does he want to be called?”

“Sam.”

“He just gets less and less creepier every day,” I blinked with surprise.

“Nat used to think Laurie and I were creepy,” she shrugged. “Then again we did raid his stash of rubbers and had an awesome water balloon fight when we were seven.”

“Let me guess who instigated that one,” I snarled.

“I did,” she stuttered. “Come on Laurie isn’t that bad. She’s just like me.”

“No she isn’t,” I snapped tugging on the sleeves of my smock. There was no way I could tell Ginny about what Laurie did to me.

“She’s my sister.” Ginny defensively stressed.

“You’re right she’s a living doll,” I lied with a fake smile. “Enough about her. I want to talk about you and when we can get together again. The gang is going bowling on Thursday. I know a group outing isn’t ideal but at least we can see each other.”

“I’ll be there,” she sighed heavily. “I would offer to pick you up and drive you home but,”

“But?” I sputtered. To me it sounded like a grand idea. Granted I didn’t understand what was happening between us. It just felt too good to question.

“Ron might flip out if his girlfriend doesn’t want to ride with him,” she sullenly concluded.

“Ron,” my shoulders slumped. “I forgot about him.”

“Any chance you’re gonna dump him in the near future?” She pleaded. “What am I saying? There is a dance coming up you can’t dump him.”

“The dance,” I frowned. “Which means you’ll have to get a date. I hate this. Could you pick someone ugly?”

“I’ll try,” she laughed. “How about we go out on Sunday? Jump in my car and just take off? If I get you home at a decent hour your folks won’t mind. What would they consider a respectable hour?”

“Nine.”

“What’re you Amish?” She gasped. “Last Sunday we stayed out really late. And when there is a game you stay out past midnight.”

“When there’s a game I’m with a large group of people and don’t have school in the morning,” I quickly explained. “Plus I think they troll the streets to check up on me. What can I say they’re really strict? I’m the oldest and I’m a girl.”

“I get it,” she smiled. “They worry. You’re parents are really nice. No surprise they want to keep an eye on their little girl.”

“Speaking of my folks,” I slowly began fearful that I was about to scare her off. “They’re going out tonight and I have to baby sit the creep. Uhm,” I began to stammer.

“Yes?” She encouraged.

“Uhm sorry I don’t know the rules when it comes to this,” I tried to calm myself. “I still don’t get what this is.” Now my heart wasn’t simply racing it was about to explode. She stood there patiently waiting for me to finish what I was trying to say. “Sorry,” I gulped. “You know up until now everything I learned in life, I learned from gossiping in the ladies room. Oddly enough this topic was never discussed.”

“Probably never will be,” Ginny frowned. “At least not in a good way. Just say what you want to say.”

“Did you want to come over and study tonight?” I blurted out before I lost my nerve.

“Seven O’ Clock okay?” She beamed.

“It’s not too soon?” I babbled on. “Again I’m swimming in very distant waters here.”

“A little,” she smiled shyly. “But you’re so damn cute how can I refuse? I’m assuming that your brother will be around to keep an eye on us.”

“Us?” I barked with laughter. “Knowing the little perv he isn’t going to take his beady little eyes off of you.”

“Well I guess I’ll see you tonight,” she tossed out. “I have to go.”

“Later.”

Getting the folks to say it was okay for Ginny to come over that night was a walk in the park. I wasn’t the only one who was taken with the girl. My parents and little brother thought she was the best thing since color television. Which none of us had seen. Sammy was racing around like a lunatic when he heard Ginny was coming over.

“Look at him go,” Dad nodded with appreciation. “You’d think John Wayne was coming over instead one of your friends.”

“No, Dad that would be you running around,” I laughed. “I think he has a crush on Ginny.”

“Music to my ears.” Dad happily exclaimed.

“Sam.” Mom swatted him.

“What Doris?” Dad shrugged. “Having him ogling a cheerleader instead of a bucket of bugs makes me happy.”

“Okay,” Mom groaned just as the front door bell rang. “Speaking of ogling you want to get that so you can check out her car again?”

“Yes.” Dad flashed a cocky smirk before dashing towards the door.

“It’s just a car,” Mom sighed dramatically adding an eye roll to top it off.

“Oh come on Mom,” I nudged her. “Even you have to admit it is a hot set of wheels.”

“Yes,” Mom nodded. “I just feel it is a bit extravagant to give to teenager.”

“Hi,” Ginny sheepishly ducked in since my Dad had left the front door wide open in his zeal to play with the Chevy. “Mrs. Druette.” She politely greeted my mother. “And you’re right it is an extravagant gift. I was saving to buy my own car. Then Dad surprised us on our birthday. What could I say?”

“Oh honey,” Mom laughed. “Don’t mind me. It is just hard knowing that all Eleanore got was a pair of earrings on her sixteenth birthday.”

“My great grandmother’s earrings,” I quickly interjected giving Mom a fierce hug. “And money in my college fund.”

“Now that’s nice,” Ginny smiled shifting the books she was carrying.

“Why don’t you set those down on the coffee table,” Mom guided the poor girl over to the living room. “Scooter.” She cautioned my kid brother who suddenly appeared and latched on to Ginny. “So do I want to know what you got for Christmas?” Mom teased.

“Uhm no,” Ginny laughed as Mom quirked her brow truly curious. “Dad had to go there on business anyways. We spent Christmas in London last year. It was kind of a drag.”

“A drag?” Mom groaned. “A Dickens Christmas was a drag?”

“That’s just it that’s what I was hoping for,” Ginny explained kneeling down to tickle my brother. “You know a Dickens Christmas and seeing the sights, the museums and all that. Mom had this social calendar all mapped out. It was one boring adult party after another and shopping. We could have done that here. I’m hoping we get to stay home this year. But the folks are already talking about a trip to the Bahamas.”

“Well the Bahamas sounds like fun,” Mom lied. “I mean for a trip.”

“Not for Christmas,” Ginny bemoaned. “No snow and working the social circle again. It’s just not the same. I’d much rather stay here and hang my stocking by the fire and wait up for Santa. What about you Sam?”

“Snow and Santa.” Sammy demanded.

“Look at the time,” Mom grumbled checking her watch. “Scooter I want you to behave. Same goes for the two of you. Ginny please tell me you have your keys on you. I’m afraid that Mr. Druette is going to try and boost your car.”

“I do,” Ginny laughed. “You could take the Chevy. I don’t mind.”

“Thank you,” Mom smiled. “I would accept but I doubt Mr. Druette would be willing to give it back. Now have fun and get this one to bed on time.”

“Yes, Mom,” I waved wishing her a pleasant evening. I was touched when Ginny did the same.

Ginny and Sam engaged in a wrestling match while I locked up. “I’m so not going to get a chance to be alone with her,” I grunted miffed by the way Sammy was plastered to Ginny’s body.

“Did someone load you up with candy?” Ginny squealed tossing the rug rat over her shoulder.

“No, do you have any?” Sammy squealed.

“Not a chance,” Ginny scolded him. “You, young man, are going to bed on time.”

“No suh,” Sammy instantly challenged.

“Oh guess again,” I cautioned him laughing as Ginny bounced him onto the sofa.

“Trying to ditch me?” The little snot challenged.

“Absolutely.”

Ginny snickered at my comment making herself comfortable on the sofa. Sammy immediately climbed up next to her. “Going to help me with my homework?” She teased him with a quick tickle.

“I’ll grab us some cokes and something to snack on.” I volunteered leaving my guest alone with my quirky kid brother.

“I wanna coke.” Sammy bellowed when I returned with the sodas and some chips.

“No,” I flatly refused. “No pop after seven and you know why.”

“Do I want to know why?” Ginny chuckled accepting her drink.

“Because he’ll never sleep,” I explained. I tried to nudge Sammy away from Ginny. Having failed to pry the little booger away I settled for taking a seat on the opposite side of her. “A little soda and he turns into a tinkle monster.”

“Do not!” Sammy pouted nuzzling closer to Ginny.

“And I thought you were a tickle monster?” Ginny gasped before scooping him up and furiously tickling the little rodent.

I folded my arms across my chest. Ginny was a natural with him. As warming as the sight was I couldn’t stop the feeling of jealousy that was surging through me. It was lame and I knew it. Still it really bugged me that the creepizoid was getting all the attention. I wanted to slap the little bugger and tell him to keep his little paws off of my girl. It wasn’t simply that he was getting all the attention. I could see where his grubby little mitts were drifting to. I could have written it off as an accident if only Sammy hadn’t flashed me a snotty look.

Knowing I would sound like a complete spaz if I complained I settled back and cracked open my history book. Ginny finally put Sammy down and moved closer to me. The little bugger insisted on curling up next to her. “Need help? I’m a little ahead with my course load,” she graciously offered seemingly not upset that Sammy was crowding her.

“How far ahead?” I questioned eyeballing her carefully. I had suspected that Laurie might be just as smart as Ginny. But Ginny was way out in front when it came to studying.

“Well,” she hesitated. “I could have graduated last semester.”

“And you didn’t because?” I was astonished.

“Laurie didn’t apply herself,” she grumbled. “And I get to enjoy some classes I would have missed out on.”

“How can you be so far ahead?”

“At a couple of my old high schools I pulled a double course load,” she shrugged.

I was amazed by the fact she didn’t seem to think it was a big deal. Ginny must work on a different clock than the rest of the world. I knew that even with my study habits I couldn’t fit the pep squad, social engagements, along with other extra curricular activities in a twenty-four hour day. Ginny also had the burden of picking up after Laurie’s messes.

Still she didn’t seem fazed by any of it.

She settled in helping me with my entire course load while entertaining Sammy. I think both Sammy and I got a jump start with our education. Every time he’d ask a question Ginny patiently answered. She never talked down to him or chastised him for interrupting. Maybe I wanted to throttle him because he was my stinky little brother, or it simply could be that he was cutting into my time with Ginny.

“Okay booger breath,” I addressed Sammy. “It’s after nine. You’re late for bath time.”

“Who me?” Ginny innocently quipped. Sammy giggled while I was forced to bite back a moan.

“Sammy!” My tone turned harsh. “Say goodnight and haul your butt upstairs.”

“No.” He whined clinging tighter to Ginny.

“Yes.” I groaned.

“Ginny?” He tried enlisting her.

“Sorry Sam, them’s the breaks,” Ginny smirked. “You don’t want to catch it from your folks.”

“Okay.” He grimly conceded before stomping up the stairs.

“Can I trust you?” I hollered after him.

“Yes.” He howled indignantly.

We sat back listening. I knew Sammy was stalling. “Bath!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. My screeching was followed by the stomping of little feet. ‘Come on you little creep.’ I silently pleaded desperate for some alone time with Ginny before my parents came home. I glared up at the ceiling listening to his stomping and fussing. Finally I heard the bathwater start running.

“Should we check on him?” Ginny asked snuggling closer to me.

“Not yet,” I cautioned her. “He’s still lurking around.”

“Not to be a wet rag,” she tentatively began. “Some of the things he whispered to me were interesting. I know he’s too young to understand, but someone needs to tell him that he shouldn’t say some things. You know about us.”

“I’ll talk to him,” I sighed heavily. I sat back just looking at her. “I better go upstairs and check on him. If I don’t then I might just do something that would be really hard to explain.”

I stood my body tingling when she followed my action and clasped me by the hand. “I’ll come with you.” She volunteered. It felt so good walking up the stairs with her hand in mine. I found the water running in the bathroom and Sammy bouncing on his bed. I uttered a growl before shutting off the water before it could overflow. I darted into his room. I grabbed up his pajamas and caught him by the scruff of his scrawny neck. Ginny’s laughter echoed behind us while I ushered Sammy into the bathroom. “Now!” I cautioned him as sternly as I could muster.

I shoved him inside slamming the door behind me. Ginny and I leaned up against the wall listening. I briefly wondered how much trouble I would get in if I nailed the door shut. Ginny’s arm slipped around my waist. The second we heard water splashing she wrapped me up in a tender embrace. I had been dying all night. My body ached to be held this way.

I reached up lacing my fingers in her hair. Her fingers caressed my sides. I drew her closer releasing a soft moan before claiming her lips in a searing kiss. “Wow, I’ve wanted to do that all day,” she whispered her confession.

I shook my head smiling at the glazed look in her eyes. “Me too.” I gulped quirking my head towards the bathroom door. Thankfully Sammy was still playing and splashing about. “Kiss me again?” I pleaded pulling her closer. She quickly reclaimed my lips pressing my body against the wall. Her soft sensual kiss forced a moan to escape from me. I dug my nails into her shoulders when I felt her knee slipping between my thighs. My lower anatomy twitched; my hips thrusting forward eager to feel more of her. My attention faltered and I was no longer listening to ensure that Sammy was behaving. All I could focus on was how good she felt and that my bedroom was just a couple of steps away.

“Oh that would be wrong.” I chastised myself when her lips drifted to the nape of my neck.

“What would be wrong?” She asked my body shuddering when she stopped kissing my flesh.

“To duck into my bedroom,” I whimpered trying to guide her back to me.

“Oh? We can’t,” she added clearing her throat while jerking her head towards the bathroom door. “I think he’s done.”

“Good,” I smirked. “He’s off guard. We can drown him.”

“No.” She wagged her finger at me before bolting to the opposite side of the hallway.

“Halt!” I shouted when Sammy burst out of the bathroom. His pajamas were clinging to his wet body. “Back inside. Strip and dry your body. I’ll get you fresh P.Js.”

I was muttering under my breath shoving Sammy back into the bathroom before he could plaster his wet body all over Ginny. My muttering was reaching a full fledged tirade when I retrieved a dry pair of pajamas for him. I opened the door just a crack giving Junior a little privacy when I tossed in his pajamas. I slammed the door. “Now dry off and change!” I shouted while flipping off the bathroom door. I took a calm breath before directing my attention towards my guest.

“Uh no,” she smirked. “I’ve seen your bedroom already. Remember? Studying and PJ parties.”

“Not a private tour,” I pouted knowing that I was busted.

“We’re moving too fast,” she stood firm. “I like you. I really like you. But I’ve been down this road before.”

“What road is that?” I questioned indignantly knowing my ire stemmed from the knowledge that this wasn’t as new to her as it was to me. Ginny curled her lips obviously mulling over her answer. She parted her lips to speak when Sammy barged out of the bathroom. The runt effectively cut off whatever she was going to say. After a good twenty minutes of chasing Sammy around we finally got him settled down.

Again I wondered how much trouble I would get in if I hammered and nailed his door shut. My mischievous contemplation was a moot point. The second we shut Sammy’s door Ginny bolted to the staircase. She tried to appear casual about her sudden desire to return to the first floor. Her intention was clear, my bedroom was off limits. No small wonder why my parents liked her so much.

“Wow you should try out for the track team,” I wryly commented when I joined her in the living room.

“Sorry,” she gulped. “It’s late and your folks will be home soon. I’m serious I can’t get in trouble again.”

“Understood.” I nodded my entire being filled with a sense of dread.

“Ellen,” she tenderly began closing the distance between us. My heart skipped a beat when she clasped my hands. “I really like you. But I don’t move that fast. We haven’t even gone on a second date yet.”

“I’m not fast,” I furiously defended myself. Of course she thought I was fast after our last couple of treks to the drive-in. Why wouldn’t she have that impression? “For the record I’m a virgin. Something that I seriously suspect you’re not.”

“Because I’m not,” she grimaced. “There’ve been others.”

“Others?” I blanched. “As in more than one?”

“Yes,” she quietly confirmed. “Twice with a girl and once with a guy. With the guy, he and I were both confused. Being together was more of an experiment than anything else. Even with my tainted past I would hope that you wouldn’t think that I’m easy.”

“I don’t,” I gave her a curious look. “I was afraid that you thought I was fast.” I laughed. “I mean the last couple of times we’ve gone out, I haven’t acted like myself. What is it about you? I can’t keep my hands off of you. I’ve never had a problem before.”

“I’m not complaining,” she grinned. “Not giving in is killing me. But I’m a romantic.”

I couldn’t stop smiling at her. She led me to the sofa where we ended up cuddling. “I’m very confused,” I confessed nestling my head against her shoulder. Our fingers became entwined. I couldn’t stop looking at them thinking how naturally our hands fit together.

“Believe me, I understand,” she reassured me kissing the top of my head.

“It isn’t just you’re being a girl,” I nervously blew out. “I mean that’s a biggie. But some of the things we did the other night. It was like making love.”

“Some folks would consider it sex,” she softly explained. “And some wouldn’t. There’s a lot more.”

“More?” I squeaked. My mind tried to picture what else there was to do. More importantly was it as much fun?

“Much more,” she groaned with a sultry purr.

“Such as?” I demanded slipping from her embrace. She inhaled sharply when I straddled her lap. “You’ve already touched me here.” I explained guiding her hand between my thighs.

“Not completely,” she gasped cupping me harder. “I haven’t gone all the way. I haven’t kissed you there.” She shuddered grinding the heel of her hand against me.

“Kissed?” I whispered absently my hips swaying against her touch.

“Kissed,” she repeated her teasing slowly increasing. “Touched, tasted, licked.” She released a feral groan burying her face against my sweater. I clung to her; my body thrusting against her hand.

My head was spinning, my body once again helpless to refuse her. When I was with her I lost all sense of reason. My common sense and body grappled with the delirious dilemma. My lustful urges once again won the battle. I fumbled; slipping my hands under her sweater. Feeling her breasts filling my hands was the only thing I cared about. What was it about her? With one look or innocent conversation I ended up sitting on her lap thrusting my body against her. We began kissing and I knew that I wouldn’t behave myself.

“Hmm,” I tore my lips from the sweetness of her mouth. “Headlights.” I gulped quickly retreating from her lap.

We quickly adjusted our clothing, checked our make up and searched for any sign that might expose what we had been doing. I blew out a terse breath when my loving parents entered the house. I couldn’t stop shaking. We greeted them politely and asked about their evening out. Then Ginny excused herself and I escorted her outside. That is when it hit me. Standing there beside her car it hit me. Not just hit me I was smacked upside the head.

If I hadn’t caught the gleam of the headlights we would have gotten caught. How could I explain what we were doing when I barely understood it myself? My trip to cloud nine suddenly turned into a nightmare. What was I doing? If my dear, sweet, over protective parents had been half a second quicker they would have seen me trying to wrestle Ginny out of her sweater. My life as I knew it would have been over.

I was spazzing. Dark words swirled around my muddled mind. Ugly words like, queer, sicko, and deviant. Was that what I was becoming? No that wasn’t who I was. It couldn’t be. I was a good girl. Then why did I just act like a complete tramp by trying to get Ginny to slip into my bedroom? I felt her eyeballing me. I averted my gaze; the shame forcing me to look at the worn gravel that covered the driveway. I didn’t need to look at her to know she was angry or hurt; perhaps both.

“Well I know that look,” she hissed opening her car door.

“I … Ginny,” I mumbled still unable to look at her.

“Ellen you’re tripping,” she tried to sound comforting, but I could hear the hurt in her voice. “Like I said I know that look. I’ve worn it many times. Not anymore. I’m not ashamed of how I feel. If you are then we can just forget the whole thing. It never happened. We never kissed. I never touched you. None of it was real.”

I failed to understand why this was happening. Out of the blue I was hit with a tidal wave of disgust. I didn’t want to forget. And I didn’t know if I was strong enough to overcome the sudden rash of insecurities that had assaulted me. I opened my mouth to speak. I wanted to tell her that I didn’t care. That I didn’t want to forget. That I needed to be with her no matter what. The words failed to come. I stood there mute while she drove off leaving me feeling empty.

I walked back into the house feeling numb. My parents ranted and raved about how much they liked Ginny. How nice it was that the two of us spent the night studying. There was my answer. The true reason I flaked out. My parent’s overwhelming approval. Like all teenagers I had managed to pull the wool over their eyes more than once. This was different. This ran deeper than a simple teenaged prank. I was deceiving them. It wasn’t just the deception it was knowing that if they knew the truth they’d hate me. I couldn’t risk losing their love or respect.

I was left with only one option. I had to nip my wild adventure in the bud. Ginny already gave me an out. Her words just a short time ago were clear. It never happened. I was free. Even though letting her go wasn’t what I wanted. Talk about wanting your cake and to eat it too. I wanted Ginny on so many levels than just the physical, and I wanted to stay normal. I wanted to secure my place as the bright eyed wonder that was my parents pride and joy.

Needless to say the following day at school was a train wreck. Every time I caught a glimpse of Ginny I was torn between melting into a puddle of happiness and wanting to throw up. The queasy feeling was not inspired by a defect in Ginny’s personality or enchanting good looks. No this was my defect for wanting something that was so wrong. The rest of my day was spent moping about and being dogged by Ron and Margie. Ron wanted to show me off strutting about like a peacock. Naturally I was flattered and miffed. Again not at him, but at me. Each time he touched me, internally I wailed about wanting to feel good about being on his arm. Margie’s persistence stemmed from wanting to know what I had been up to.

Margie and I had been best girlfriends since the first time we finger painted together. Suddenly I had dropped out of sight. My absence wasn’t what set her off. It was knowing that I was up to something and not sharing the gritty details that was the problem. In a matter of just a few short days I had stopped calling her every two seconds, stopped filling her in on the mundane details of my life. She assumed that Ron and I were too busy. Or she would have if she and her steady hadn’t kept running into Ron flying solo. Margie was frothing at the mouth desperate to know who the guy was.

Dear, sweet Ginny on the other hand was a lady. She kept her distance, giving me the space I seemed to have asked for. Even when the whole gang gathered for lunch she slipped into the background. Laurie, on the other hand, was vicious. She made crude comments, was out and out snotty towards me, and the little darling even went so far as to try and slam my locker door on my hand. I doubted that Laurie knew what had happened. How I was all over her sister one moment and ditching her the next. But she knew Ginny was upset about something and I was the reason why. That was the first time I realized, you don’t mess with someone’s sister. Honestly if some chippy pulled the same head game on my kid brother when he was old enough to date, my actions would have been much harsher.

Gym class was a delight. I had Margie dogging me with questions, Laurie trying to trip me, not to mention telling me to take a short walk off a long pier, and of course Ginny pretending that nothing was amiss. She went so far as to offer to switch places with Laurie so she wouldn’t have to touch me. Turned out to be a bad call. Laurie tried to drop me. Miss Piper was furious. That was until I swore up and down that it was an accident. Defending Laurie wasn’t my style by any means. This time the girl had a right to be mad.

Laurie’s mood failed to improve when Miss Piper sternly suggested that she overcome her clumsiness before practice that afternoon. When the whistle blew I set a new record for getting in and out of the locker room and making it to my next class. Sadly my next class was math and I was sitting right across from Laurie. She refrained from killing me; still she kept glaring at me. All day long I questioned what was wrong with me. During math class I was wondering if anyone would notice if I ditched practice after school.

I changed into my little pom-pom outfit dragging my feet as I stepped out onto the field. When she stood beside me I was ready to bolt. “I thought you’d be safer if I took my spot back.” Ginny curtly informed me.

“Can’t blame her,” I whimpered unable to look at her. “I’m acting like a nerd.”

Ginny cleared her throat. I know she was just about to say something. Her words were cut off when Ron rushed over and planted a big kiss on me. ‘Shoot me now!’ I silently screamed as Miss Piper instructed him to get back to his side of the playing field.

“Ginny,” I stammered fighting back the tears.

“Forget it,” she spat out. “Like I said nothing happened.”

“I need to talk to you.” I whispered my pathetic plea.

“It never happened.” She sternly repeated.

I was way off all through practice. A barrage of why’s screaming through my thoughts. Why was I hurting her? Why did I feel so hurt? Why had I jumped from kissing her to ditching her in a blink of an eye? It was endless. No small wonder that at the end of practice Miss Piper pulled me aside. “Ellen is everything okay?” She compassionately questioned. Once again Ron dashed over. “Mr. O’Keefe get back to where you belong.” She scolded him. “Okay now that your boyfriend is gone you want to tell me what is going on between you and the twins?”

I would have loved to just blurt the whole thing out. To finally say the words and be free, but that wasn’t going to happen. It couldn’t. If I told her the truth I’d be spending my senior year locked up somewhere; or worse enduring walking the hallways of Buchanan High as a marked woman. “Nothing.” I tried to shrug it off.

“Ellen,” she scolded me. “One of them is trying to kill you and the other looks like you killed her dog. You can talk to me.”

“Nothing,” I lied once again silently fuming that she really didn’t know which sister was which.

“Fine,” she threw in the towel. “This nothing better be done with by practice tomorrow.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” I groaned before stomping towards the locker room.

Everyone had pretty much changed and packed up their gear when I stumbled in. Almost everyone was watching me. “What is going on?” Margie whispered.

“Nothing,” I repeated my lie.

“We’ll get her to talk at Buddy’s,” Sandy threatened.

“Are you going?” Laurie’s icy tone cut in.

“No.” I quickly refused.

“Pity.” Laurie flashed me a smug smirk. “Bobby is waiting. Coming Sis?” She called out to Ginny who was lurking on the other side of the room.

“I’ll pass.” Ginny retorted without bothering to look up.

“You’re not.” Sandy pressed nudging me.

“I’m not going,” I hissed. “Look I’m having a bad day. End of story.”

“Leave her.” Laurie demanded.

“Uhm, no,” Sandy spat back.

“Fine.” Laurie snapped before storming out.

“Ellen,” Sandy turned her attention back towards me.

“Please,” I pleaded. “Just drop it.”

“Okay,” Margie answered for the both of them. “Call me later if you need to talk?”

“Sure.” I mumbled silently praying for everyone to just hit the bricks so I could be alone.

They finally left leaving me all alone with the one person I couldn’t handle facing. “Don’t worry I’m heading out,” Ginny grimly explained shoving things into her bag. That did it the flood gates opened and I was sobbing like an infant. “No, no, no,” Ginny pleaded crossing the room. I needed her to hold me to explain things to me. She stood just far enough away to ensure we wouldn’t touch one another. “Please don’t cry.”

“I don’t know what is happening to me,” I gulped biting back the tears. “Why am I doing this to you?”

“You’re scared,” she gulped reaching out to me only to quickly withdraw her hand.

“It happened so fast,” I sputtered brushing the tears away. “One moment everything was great. Then all of sudden I flipped out.”

“I understand,” she whispered.

“You do don’t you? You really understand,” I stuttered in astonishment.

“I’ve been there,” she quietly comforted me. “Everything feels magical. Then all of sudden you feel ashamed and asking yourself if I like this so much does that mean I’m a queer? It’s terrifying. Plus knowing how people would react to this is scary stuff.”

“That was it,” I sniffed leaning against my locker thankful that I had stopped bawling. “My parents. They came in all happy to see us hanging out together. If they knew that only moments before I was trying to jump you they’d hate me.”

“Then we should do what I said last night,” she gallantly offered. “Forget it. Pretend it never happened.”

“I don’t want that,” I sputtered finally admitting the truth. “I can’t. I don’t want to stop seeing you.”

“If we keep doing this,” she slowly began her voice trembling. “It won’t be easy. We’ll have to sneak around. Lie to everyone we care about and play games. You have to decide if you’re strong enough. I know how I feel. I …” My head jerked up as her words trailed off. “I can’t tell you what to do.” She added a little too quickly.

My brow furrowed pondering what she had really meant to say. I dismissed the question trying to muster my courage to simply accept things as I had been doing for the past week. Somehow just going with the flow no longer felt right. She moved to step away and before I could think about what I was doing I grabbed her. Pulling her closer I hugged her fiercely. “I just need to hold you,” I pleaded. She tightened her embrace warming my soul. Standing there just holding her I had my answer. No matter how much I thought I should do it, I couldn’t let her go. I tilted my head instantly becoming lost in her amazing blue eyes. “Damn why do you have to be so good looking?”

“Sorry,” she quipped with a crooked smile. “Wait what are you saying? I really need to hear you say it. I have to be honest lately when I’m around you I feel like Helen Keller. Every time you are near I can’t see. I can’t hear. I can only feel. Ellen you have to tell me what you want. I may respect you, but I also respect myself. I can’t fly blind anymore. If you need to bail just say it.”

“What I need is to hold you. I can’t stay away from you,” I confessed with a hard swallow. “I guess when it hits the fan, we’ll go down together. Speaking of which you will explain that to me won’t you?”

“I guess now I have to,” she sighed dramatically. “We’re in such trouble.”

“Big time,” I blew out reluctantly slipping from her embrace. “Again this would be easier if you were a mutant.”

“Thank you.” She shook her head. “Grab your gear and I’ll give you a lift home.”

“Can we go somewhere to talk?” I sniffed packing up my belongings. “I feel like a rat for treating you so badly. And I’m still confused. Some fun I am huh?”

“You’re a kick in the pants,” she laughed. “Why don’t we talk at your place?”

“Can’t,” I sighed dramatically. “My folks are there and even if we hide in my room, Sammy will be barging in every two seconds. For some strange reason he finds you a lot more interesting than his ant farm. What about your house?”

“No can do,” she grimly supplied. “My folks are out and so is Laurie that leaves just the staff.”

“Wait; then why can’t we go to your?”

“Because some of the staff will eavesdrop,” she groaned. “And my bedroom is off limits.”

“Ginny I swear I just want to talk,” I stammered feeling a little miffed that she might not trust me.

“I believe you,” she brightly beamed. “I’m not allowed to be alone in my room with just one other person. Especially if that other person is a girl. Except Laurie of course. Punishment for my screwing up in the past.”

“Uhm you mean Laurie’s screw ups,” I growled. “Well that’s fair; she messes up and you get punished. Tell me that they didn’t know it was her? On at least one of those occasions the cops had to bring her home. Are you telling me that your parents can’t tell you apart?”

“Oh they can,” she stiffened. “I took the fall and we all go along with it. I can’t expect you to understand.”

“Oh I get it,” I sighed. “After today I really get it. Laurie doesn’t even know what happened and she still tried to drop me on my head. She doesn’t know does she?”

“No,” Ginny frowned. “All she knows is that I was in a miserable mood when I got in last night. And this morning. She knew I was hanging out with you and put two and two together.”

“She can add!” I curtly taunted her.

“Hey,” she cautioned me. “She’s just looking out for me.”

“I know,” I ruefully conceded. “Well where can we go? It is much too early in the day to try and sneak into the park. We can’t go to Buddy’s the whole gang will be there.”

“Including your boyfriend,” she grimaced. “Told you this wasn’t going to be easy. Are you sure you don’t want to just forget it?”

“Want to?” I almost laughed. “If I could then this would be a snap. I’d be at Buddy’s right now hanging all over Ron. Instead I’m going crazy just trying to think of a place where we can sit down and talk. It’s not fair.” I whined slumping down on one of the wooden benches that lined the rusty old lockers.

“No it isn’t,” Ginny glumly agreed taking a seat next to me. “I wish we could walk into Buddy’s holding hands. Go to a dance together or on a date without it being such a big hairy deal. But it is a big deal.”

“It would be nice,” I added dreamily leaning against her body. I sighed happily when she wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “You make me so happy and I can’t be seen in public with you. Everything I’ve been told tells me this is wrong. So why does my heart tell me this is so right?”

“Is that how you feel?” She giddily inquired snuggling closer to me.

“Yes, and that is why I freaked,” I admitted. “I don’t want to go to the next dance with Ron. I want to go with you. I bet you’re a great dancer.”

“Ah I’m a little clumsy,” she blushed. “And all the guys accuse me of trying to lead.”

We sat there contently leaning against one another the tension from earlier had vanished and it was just the two of us. Granted the locker room wasn’t the most romantic setting to air our problems. “Thank you Miss Piper,” I blew out.

“Beg pardon?” Ginny giggled. “Uhm have you developed an interest in older women?”

“No,” I smiled up at her. “I’m thanking her because for whatever reason she hasn’t popped in to kick us out. We’re alone and I can tell you, no promise you that I will never spaz out over this again.”

“Sure you will,” she cautioned me. “Like I said this is scary stuff.”

“If I do,” I carefully began. “Next time I’ll give you some warning. You must think that I’m a total freak. I can’t believe I jumped from trying to feel you up to not being able to look at you. Who does that?”

“We all do that,” she shook her head. “I saw it when your parents came in. You turned pale and there was a look of sheer panic in your eyes. It was kind of hard to miss. Still a little heads up would be nice. Ellen, this scares me too.”

“You seem so sure of yourself.” I was stunned by her confession.

She turned towards me shaking her head. “Oh yeah I’m a brick,” she smiled cupping my face in her hands. “Thank goodness your parents came home when they did. I was half an inch from throwing all of my romantic ideals right out the window. Last Sunday, man I was a mess. I had to keep telling myself this is not a date. Then you kissed me and I was unhinged. You certainly know how to keep a girl off balance.”

“Not my intention,” I smiled. “I tried to pretend it wasn’t a date too. After the movie started there wasn’t any question in my mind. It didn’t bother me until I was sitting next to you on my parent’s sofa lying to them about how our night of studying went.”

“It isn’t like you could tell them it was great because you got to second base with me,” she stated with a lilting laugh. “So first date and now our first fight. Isn’t this the part where we kiss and make up?” She added coyly quickly glancing around to ensure that we were completely alone.

“Just let me say I’m sorry one more time,” I pleaded leaning into her touch. “I’m sorry Ginny. Now show me that you forgive me.”

“Oh I forgive you,” she whispered in a husky tone. Her eyes fluttered shut; she tenderly brushed her lips against mine. The sweet enduring touch quickly ignited our passion. She kissed me again; deeper parting my lips with her tongue. I moaned wrapping my arms around her body drawing her closer. Becoming lost in her touch was so easy. I didn’t care that we were necking in the locker room. The dank aroma of stale sweat mixed with heinous perfume did nothing to diminish our desire. I laced my fingers in her long blonde hair; wrapped my tongue around hers and willingly allowed her hand to slip up and under my skirt. I loved the feel of her fingers caressing my thigh. I silently pleaded for the tantalizing exploration to go even further.

The sounds of heavy footsteps approaching broke us apart. Each of us releasing a bitter groan angered by the intrusion. “Girls!” Miss Piper called out. The way she cautiously entered the room struck me as a tad odd. “It’s late. I would like to lock up.”

“Sorry.” Ginny quickly apologized bolting off of the bench.

“We were just leaving,” I threw out. “Can I still get a ride with you?” I tried to sound innocent despite the way my body was wobbling.

“Sure thing.” Ginny blushed before we bolted out of the room.

We were laughing like a couple of idiots all the way to the student parking lot. The laughter quickly died when we spotted Ron waiting by his car which was parked next to Ginny’s. “Great.” Ginny bitterly muttered under her breath.

“I’m not going to freak,” I vowed giving her arm a quick squeeze before strolling up to Ron.

Ron didn’t look happy. Just a couple hours ago the guy had been all over me. Now he was scowling. “Hi.” I gulped trying to keep a slight distance between us.

“The gang is at Buddy’s. Want to go?” His voice was cold.

“I can’t,” I mumbled tugging on my scarf noticing that his eyes were glued to my neck. “I have to,”

“I get it.” He cut me off before storming over to his car and peeling rubber.

“I forgot about it,” I whispered to Ginny when she approached me.

“That is a big one,” she winced brushing her fingers against my neck. “I really got carried away. That sucker is going to take forever to heal.”

“You should see the others,” I nudged her.

“Others?” She shook her head looking closely at my neck.

“They’re not visible with my clothes on.” I blushed.

“Uhm I should get you home,” she gulped her flesh turning a deep shade of scarlet.

The drive home was interesting. Ginny’s focus seemed to be off. Instead of watching the road she kept glancing over at me. I shivered each time her crystal blue eyes raked up and down my body. “Turn here.” I finally demanded.

“This isn’t the way to your house?” She questioned pulling onto the dirt road that led up to Mill Hill.

“We’re never gonna make to my house in one piece,” I almost laughed. “Someone isn’t watching the road.”

“I’m distracted,” she cringed following the road. “I promise to behave.”

“Just pull over in there,” I shook my head guiding her to pull off into the woods just before we reached the hill.

We looked around ensuring that the car couldn’t be seen from the road. I turned to her when she turned off the engine. She blew out a terse breath before turning towards me. “Where?” She sputtered in amazement.

“Well, considering that you never got my clothes off,” I shyly explained. “Your mouth found its way to some really fun places.”

“Such as?” Her jaw dropped.

I licked my lips my hands trembling as I reached up and began to unbutton my blouse. She held me captive in a smoldering gaze. No small wonder I was unwilling to stop what was happening between us. Just one look in her eyes and I was undone. I had only planned on just giving her a glimpse of the love bite she had placed on my chest. Instead I unbuttoned my blouse completely. Her eyes glazed over when I shed my blouse. My fingers shaking as I brushed against the purplish blemish just above my left breast.

My mouth was suddenly parched as I watched her eyes drifting to where my fingers had landed. The sounds of her labored breathing filled the car. Only the sound of my heart hammering against my chest over shadowed her needy gasps. I released a strangled cry when her fingers brushed against my shoulder. I was shaking from the feel of her fingers tracing my bra strap. “Ellen?” She whimpered lowering the strap down past my shoulder. “Can I?” She trembled her other hand reaching out and lowering the other strap. “Can I see you?” She pleaded teasing my shoulders with the tips of her fingers.

I tried to answer her verbally, but the words caught in my throat. I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra allowing it to fall open. I was filled with excitement and a sense of uncertainty as I removed the garment completely exposing myself to her eager gaze. I placed my bra in my lap accepting that my actions no longer possessed any sense of reason. I abandoned my sensibilities almost two weeks ago when she kissed me for the first time. At that moment sitting there with my breasts exposed the only thing I knew for certain was if she didn’t touch me I was going to die.

A short gasp escaped my lips when she brushed her fingers against my nipple. My body instinctively leaned closer. “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered dipping her head. I murmured with pleasure; her tongue tracing the swell of my breasts. My head fell back, my eyes fluttered shut as I arched my back pressing my body against her lips. I rolled my head against the seat; my senses ignited by the feel of her hands cupping my breasts. Lost in the maddening sensation of her tongue flickering against my erect nipple I laced my fingers in her hair and pressed her harder against my body.

It was too much I couldn’t stop the demanding throbbing between my thighs. Her teeth teasing and taunting my nipple only served to heighten my desire. Our bodies slid until I was lying beneath her giving into the feel of her fingers and lips playing with my nipples. My body wriggled pressing my hips against her body. I tightened my hold on her when I felt her pulling away. My skin prickled; wet from her touch. I was dangling on the edge refusing to let go of her. She feasted upon my breasts; taunting and teasing me.

My body arched grounding my hips shamelessly against her. I was so close; so willing to just give in. Again she pulled away. I hated it but this time I allowed it. Each of us was struggling to breathe unable to move. “Oh this is going to be a long ride home,” I whimpered clenching my thighs hoping to ease the needy ache.

“Tell me about it,” she groaned still hovering above me. “I can’t wait to get home so I can finish what we started.”

“What?” I questioned not quite grasping her intention. I gasped when I realized what she was referring to. “Oh a solo flight.”

“Uhm yeah,” she squeaked out in embarrassment. “Sorry I didn’t mean to be so crude.”

“Crude my Aunt Fanny,” I smiled cupping her face in my hands. “It’s what I’m planning on doing. You drive me crazy you know that don’t you?”

“I do?”

“Yes, you do,” I confessed my body still twitching. “I’ve never acted this way before. No one has ever made me feel the way you do. I hate that you’re right about us moving too fast. I also hate trying to hold on until I lock myself in my bedroom.” We exchanged an uneasy laugh while fumbling to return to an upright position. “I can’t believe I just told you that I do that.”

“I think everyone does it,” she offered with a quirky grin. “I’d be doing it right now if I could.”

“Me too,” I sighed wishing that I could. Then I began searching for my bra. It had grown dark making the task more difficult than it need be. Finding the garment did nothing to erase my erroneous thoughts of taking matters into my own hands. Just thinking about doing it while Ginny watched made me tingle.

I was just about to slip my bra back on when I looked over at her. There was something in her eyes and the way she was clutching the steering that turned my thoughts in a lurid direction. Her gaze met mine. The look in her eyes mirrored my torrid thoughts. “Oh no we couldn’t,” she shook her head with a chuckle. “Admitting that I touch myself was unusual enough.”

“Making the jump to sharing the experience,” I blew out finally putting my bra back on. “That’s too big of a leap. Especially since we almost threw in the towel less the twenty four hours ago. I don’t know what it is about you that inspires such naughtiness.” I laughed slipping my blouse on.

“I’m evil.” She quipped cranking the car to life.

“Yeah right,” I scowled buttoning up my blouse while she wiped the windows.

“Fogged up again,” she sighed wistfully.

“I’d say it’s not my fault but it is,” I willingly accepted my short comings. “We better hurry I’m already in trouble. Again my fault not yours.”

“I helped,” she gloated. “Well Thursday should be fun.”

“Yes bowling with the gang,” I groaned while we waited for the car to defog. “You’ll be looking for a date for the dance and I’m a marked woman.”

“In more ways than one,” she teased. “I can’t blame him for being upset. I would be. Still it could mean I’ll be able to offer you a ride home.”

“It is always such a relief when guys dump me,” I admitted just as she began to back up the car. “It just sucks that Ron is such a nice guy.”

“Interesting,” she whispered.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She lied.

I knew she was lying. I was curious what she found more interesting that I thought Ron was a nice guy or that I was relieved whenever I broke up with someone. I let it go. My plate was way too full between realizing that I really was relieved when a guy dumped me and my feelings for Ginny. I was falling for her and hard. I had the chance to take the easy way out and go along with her suggestion that we just forget the whole thing. Just knowing that my fears had hurt her was bad enough. Losing her would devastate me. I was shocked, frightened and thrilled that I hadn’t been able to let go. Talk about an eye opener.

When we arrived at my house she walked me to the door. My Dad burst outside ready to read me the riot act. He stopped in his tracks when he spotted Ginny. “My fault,” she blurted out. “Mr. Druette please don’t be upset with Eleanore. I was bending her ear and we lost track of time.”

“Dad I’m sorry.” I sheepishly threw in knowing I was in deep for missing dinner with the family.

“Well,” Dad hedged. “These things happen. We were worried. Next time call and tell us you’re with Ginny. Now say goodnight and come inside.”

I stood there slacked jawed long after my father went back into the house. “I swear they love you more than me,” I sputtered.

“Well they might not be so understanding if they knew I was nibbling on your ear not bending it.” She frowned.

“Technically it was my,” I merrily began. My words were cut off when placed her hand over my mouth.

“You’re incorrigible,” she gaped at me withdrawing her hand after I licked it.

“Are you okay?” I asked still feeling bad about the way I had acted.

“I’m good.” She smiled.

“I still feel rotten about flaking out,” I sighed heavily. “It doesn’t make any sense. When I’m with you everything is perfect. When I’m in the real world I’m a mess.”

“Cute mess.” She smirked.

“But a mess just the same,” I grimaced. “I don’t get why you still want to date me.”

“Like I said you’re a cute mess,” she beamed. “I gotta go.”

I watched her leave my heart soaring as if some heavy burden had just been lifted. Strange that the reality was I just dug my grave even deeper and I knew it. “Eleanore?” Mom called out beckoning me inside.

“Round two,” I muttered finally dragging myself inside. “I’m sorry I was so late.”

“Your father explained that you girls lost track of time,” Mom blew it off much to my surprise. “Next time call.” She repeated Dad’s warning. “I’ll heat up a plate for you.”

“I’m not hungry,” I apologized eager to escape to the safety of my bedroom. All the talk and strange happens had failed to cool my body. “If it is okay I’m just going to turn in early.”

Mom said goodnight and I made a beeline towards my room. I was mere inches away from sanctuary when Sammy cut me off. “Where were you?” He whined.

“None of your business,” I growled.

“You were with Ginny,” he gloated scrunching up his little face. I just wanted to smack the smug look he was sporting right off his face. Instead I opted for grabbing him by the back of his pajama bottoms and giving him a wedgie he wouldn’t soon forget. He yelped and pleaded as I dragged him into his room.

“Listen Scooter,” I tersely began flinging him down onto his bed. “That mouth of yours is going to get me in serious trouble.”

“So,” he laughed.

“Fine you don’t care about me,” I rolled my eyes. “Just remember if I get into trouble so does Ginny.” Now that made him think. “You have to watch some of the things you’ve been saying.”

“Just cause you like her?” He gaped at me.

“Yeah,” I growled. “And not a little trouble we’re talking big trouble. So knock it off or she won’t be able to visit anymore.”

“Okay.” He agreed his beady little eyes filling with fear.

I blew out a sigh of relief before storming out of his room and locking myself in my own. “Amazing the rest of the world can’t see it but the little stinker was onto us from the get go.”

Thursday night was hell on earth. I had Laurie dogging me all night. Ron glaring at me like I should have a scarlet letter branded to my forehead and to top it off I got to watch Ginny flirting with Earl Summers. “I told her to pick someone ugly,” I growled under my breath.

“Not gonna happen Dolly,” Laurie cackled in my ear. “Cool your jets. My sister is hot no way some bozo is going to get her number.”

“Hey Laurie you wouldn’t have a really big fly swatter handy would ya?” I taunted her.

“Why?” She snarled.

“Cause I want to kill that huge bug that crawled up your ass,” I hissed.

“You’re a cut up Eleanore,” she grimaced.

“When did you?” I sputtered noting it was the second time she called me by my real name. No one at school ever called me that not even the teachers. There was only one person she could have learned it from.

“Chill Heidi,” she groaned tugging on my braids. “You have to understand. Ginny and I have been like peanut butter and jelly since the day Mom popped us out. You show up on the scene and suddenly she won’t give me the time of day. How would you feel? She’s my sister.”

As twisted as I thought Laurie was she had a point. They shared a womb for almost nine months; spent the next seventeen years glued at the hip until I entered the picture. In a matter of just a few short days not only had they stopped dressing alike they were barely on speaking terms. “I’ll make a deal with you Laurie,” I graciously began. “If you cut the crap, like trying to grab handle me every time you see me, and stop trying to split us up I’ll play nice. And by nice I mean I’ll be polite, but I ain’t revisiting the backseat of your car.”

“Split you up?” She blanched. “She’s not like that.”

“Laurie do we have a deal?” I cut her off. She just glared at me. “Or do I go over there right now and tell her what you tried to do in the girl’s room the other day?”

“We have a deal,” she meekly agreed. “I’ll even pinky swear. She’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose that.”

“I understand,” I smiled. “I don’t want to drive a wedge between the two of you. I just want you to stop trying to do the same to us. Now buy me a coke cause I can’t sit here and watch her pretending not to know how to roll a ball down the alley.”

“Pitiful isn’t it,” Laurie agreed. “Come on let’s hit the snack bar.”

Laurie’s personality instantly changed from that moment on. Once again the world righted itself until I eyeballed Ron lurking in a corner. I already knew he was ticked off when I had to walk to the bowling alley. Now there he was standing there a cigarette dangling from his lips looking like a dime store version of James Dean. ‘Now what am I going to say to him? He knows he isn’t the one who ravished my neck along with other parts of my body.’ The latter I discovered Sunday night when I went to take a shower. Considering how much of my clothing remained on my body, Ginny was very resourceful.

“This isn’t going to be good,” Margie snuck up on me while I was staring at Ron. “What are you going to tell him?”

“What can I say?” I sighed. “He knows I cheated on him. I’m sorry ain’t gonna cut it. I’ll just fess up and let him dump me. So I miss one dance. No biggie.” Truth was in our little world not showing up at a dance wearing some guy’s jacket was catastrophic.

The hardest part was Ron was a great guy, someone I liked hanging out with and could actually talk to. Life just wasn’t fair. If it was I would have fallen for him and not another girl. How did this happen? When did I cross some invisible line that wouldn’t allow a single moment to pass without my thoughts turning towards Ginny? And what did that make me? Was it just her? Or had I somehow transformed into some kind sideshow freak that only did it with women? Everything I thought I knew about the subject was that girls only went after other girls because they were sick or too ugly to get a guy. It wasn’t true. I really liked Ginny and she really liked me and we were neither sick nor unattractive.

“Might as well get it over with,” I muttered to Margie.

“Here?” She gasped.

“Hey everyone knows I cheated,” I reasoned. “Letting him dump me in public is the least I can do.”

I felt my knees shaking as I approached him. The scowl never left his face as I made the agonizing trek from the snack bar to the pool table. I just wanted to get it over with. “What’s up?” He tossed out trying way too hard to sound cool.

“I’m sorry,” I woefully began. “Look you deserve better so just do it.” He snatched the cigarette from his mouth and rolled his eyes. Not the response I was expecting. “I’m serious,” I pushed forward. “Dump me.”

“Ellen,” he grumbled slumping his shoulders. “It kind of sucks the life out of it if you give me permission.”

“Sorry.” I cringed realizing that I truly was emasculating him.

“Just tell me are you in love with him?” He almost pleaded.

“Love?” I choked. Now that was a scary word. I was comfortable with the phrases I had been using, I’m falling for her and I really like her. But love now that’s a biggie. Cause if I’m in love with her then that would mean that I really am those words Laurie was terrified of being called. I was shaking like a leaf. The word screaming in my brain.

“Are you?”

“I … I … I Uhm … I don’t know,” I finally blurted out the “L” word still rattling in my head.

He leaned back and studied me while I stood there silently questioning if I was in love with Ginny Swenson. He just kept looking at me deep in thought while I was ready to have a panic attack. “Ellen,” he finally broke the silence. “If we give it another try you have to promise not to sneak around with other guys.”

“Huh?”

“I’m serious no dating other guys if we are together,” he stood firm.

“I promise I won’t date other guys,” I vowed feeling a wave of relief washing over me. Okay I was clinging to semantics but he said no other guys now that I could promise. I could still go out with Ginny on Sunday and stop wondering if I was in love with her. This was something my teenaged brain could really twist and rationalize.

“So I hear you and Ron made up,” Ginny questioned later as she slid next to me after I had thrown my last gutter ball of the night. “Guess I’m not driving you home tonight.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” I squeamishly confessed not missing the way her body tensed up.

“How did you get him to forgive you?” She whispered before lifting her bottle of coke to her lips.

“I had to promise not to see other guys,” I whispered in response causing her to choke.

“Oh that’s priceless,” she laughed while wiping the cola from her lips.

“Are you going on a date with Earl?” I mumbled picking at my skirt.

“Saturday after the game,” she sighed. “We do what we have to do Ellen. I hate it just as much as you do. But next time around I doubt I’ll get off with a slap on the wrist and a stern lecture from the judge. I think I should fix my lipstick.” She coyly added.

“The bathroom is too busy,” I explained fully understanding what her plans were. “So is the parking lot.”

“You so have my number,” she smirked.

“Yes I do.”

“Sunday is long way off,” she sighed.

“Yes it is.”

Sunday did indeed take an eternity to arrive. The days that proceeded it were sheer agony. Ron and I had reconciled which meant that we had to hang all over one another every time we were seen in public. Then, of course, there was the obligatory trip to Mill Hill Saturday night after the victory party. Plus there was the added attraction of watching Ginny at the party with Earl. Granted Earl was behaving like a gentleman still I knew that at the end of the evening she would kiss him goodnight. If she refused; he wouldn’t invite her to the dance.

Come Sunday morning I was sitting on the front porch next to Sam who was devouring Doctor Doolittle. I was excited just knowing that I was going to spend the day with Ginny. Still there was this nagging thought that was plaguing me. ‘Was it always going to be like this? Was there ever going to be a day when we could just be together and say to hell with the rest of world?’ I glanced up and down the picture postcard street I lived on and thought that no it was never going to happen. Another troubling thought why was I so gone after spending one day with her? It had only been seven days since our first outing and already I was scheming up ways to be alone with her as often as possible. I was even thinking about life after high school.

The only hope I had was to try and convince Ginny that Smith was a much better choice than Stanford. Another bright spot in my dismal life. We wanted to attend colleges that were conveniently located on opposite sides of the country. I did consider picking Stanford until I realized that I had a better shot at seeing President Eisenhower in a dress than I would convincing my parents to allow me to go to school in California. In just one week’s time I felt like a different person. I shook my head in an effort to stop putting the cart before the horse. I turned my attention to my kid brother.

“Enjoying the book?” I questioned Sam who was lost in his own little world. Imagine my surprise when he looked up and spoke to me.

“It is so nifty,” he brightly beamed. “Thanks for buying it for me.”

“You’re welcome Sam.”

“Hey she told,” he scowled. “Ginny promised.”

“I know she did,” I groaned feeling like a rat. “But she’s my very best friend. And she thought you would be happier if I stopped calling you Scooter and Skippy and Stinky and,”

“Stop.” He laughed. “When is she coming?”

“Soon.” I confirmed checking my watch. “So do you forgive her?”

“Yes,” he nodded watching the street.

“Cause she’s pretty?” I teased.

“She is,” he smiled boldly.

“Oh you just like looking at her boobs you little perv,” I swatted him.

“So do you,” he grunted.

“What did I tell you about that?” I choked out. “You can’t say that.”

“Why?”

“Because if someone heard you Ginny and I couldn’t hang out together anymore,” I tried to explain while saying a silent prayer that he would never ever repeat this conversation.

“Why?” He wailed.

“Because.” I fumed.

“Why?” He wasn’t giving up.

“Because.” I growled smacking him in the head again. I almost had an aneurism when he threw out another why. The why because debate raged on for a good ten minutes until my mother caught wind of it and broke up the party.

“Eleanore unless you want to spend the day playing why because I suggest you make him stop,” Mom informed me.

“How?”

“Skeeter stop it,” she wagged her finger at him.

“Why?” He demanded.

“Because I said so,” Mom skillfully cut him down.

“Okay.” He shrugged his little shoulders before returning his attention back to Doctor Doolittle.

“That’s it!” I wailed.

“Always worked with you,” she shrugged sitting next to me.

“I never did that,” I emphatically denied.

“Oh of course you did,” she laughed patting my knee. “Now Eleanore,” she began.

‘Oh no I don’t like the sound of this.’

“Your father and I were talking,” she prattled on.

‘I really don’t like the sound of this!’

“All this time you are spending with Ginny,” she calmly proceeded as my heart stopped. “We think that she is so nice and such a good influence on you.”

“Thank you,” I said with a hard swallow waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“We thought since you two gals liked spending your Sundays together that when you go out with her you could stay out till ten,” she finished shocking the bejesus out of me. “Only if it is just you girls. Now do you need a little pin money for today?”

“Uhm,” I sputtered shaking my head. “Sure.”

I felt I had entered an alternate universe when Mom slipped me a twenty just as Ginny pulled up. I hadn’t been this surprised since I heard my Dad say that Jack Webb was cool. First Dad never said cool and secondly Jack Webb was so not cool. “Good morning Mrs. Druette,” Ginny brightly greeted the woman I was almost certain was my mother.

“Well Good Morning Ginny,” Mom beamed. “What have you two gals got planned for today?”

“Nothing special,” Ginny smiled sweetly. “Hi Sam.”

“Hi Ginny,” he sighed with goofy grin. I saw where he was looking and just before I could smack him the little bugger turned and gave me a self satisfying smirk.

“Oh man,” I muttered under my breath catching the drift of what he was doing. If I didn’t tell him to stop he wouldn’t rat me out. Blackmail is such an ugly word but lately it seemed to be working. “Enjoy the book,” I sneered. It was my way of telling him that I agreed to his terms.

We had just crossed the town line when Ginny pulled over into a deserted parking lot. I felt my breathing hitch when she turned to me. There was something about the mischievous gleam in her eyes that was my undoing. “Before we go any further,” she began in a very serious tone. “Do you need to make certain that my doppelganger didn’t show up in my place?”

“Well if I’ve learned anything from Mom’s soaps it is that there is always an evil twin.”

“Trust me I am the evil twin,” Ginny purred slipping closer to me.

“Really?” I sighed my eyes raking up and down her body.

“It’s a fact,” the timber of her voice sent a shiver coursing through my body. “I just want to reassure you that you are out with the right woman.” She taunted me while lacing her fingers with mine. “As I recall you said there was only one way to be completely certain which one of us was which.”

“True,” I sighed caressing her arms. “I wouldn’t want to waste my day with the wrong woman. So I guess you’ll have to kiss me.”

That kiss sent me over the moon. It wasn’t heavy breathing and groping it was soft and sweet. Still the lingering kiss was so sensual. How could anyone kiss like that? I wrote it off as one of life’s many mysterious. Once I had confirmed that I was indeed in the company of the lady of my choice the kiss came to an end. Not because I had unmasked her true identity but because we feared being caught.

“Oh Ginny,” I sighed wistfully slipping back to my side of the Cherry mobile.

“Are we a couple of corn balls or what?” She laughed putting the car in drive.

“It’s a fact.” I whole heartedly agreed.

We drove up to New Hampshire that day and did a little hiking and sight seeing before stopping at this roadside diner for grub. The best part of eating at the little truck stop was that Ginny was there. Other than that the place was a greasy spoon. All the food was slathered in fat and deep fried. We didn’t care; we were together. We took our time making our way back stopping at the Carlisle woods to look at the stars. We really did look at the stars. Well that was until we named most of the constellations then we found something more exciting to occupy our time.

Kind of ironic since my sexual awakening had begun in those woods with her sister. Ginny chose to park by the lake away from the wooded picnic area Laurie had taken me to. It would become our spot. It was below the Hill and almost always empty.

We got back a little early that night so we sat on my front porch. I remember thinking as we looked up at the night sky that we really were a couple of cornballs and that my parents should invest in one of those porch swings. Now that would be romantic sitting on the swing on a cool crisp autumn evening with her just watching the stars. It would turn cold soon you could smell it in the air. I sighed happily as we sat there our shoulders rubbing together.

“Can I ask you something?” I began there had only been one thing troubling me that day and I wanted to clear the air.

“Anything,” she smiled turning towards me.

I couldn’t help smiling in return before I remembered what I had wanted to ask her. “Did you tell Laurie my name, my real name?”

“What’s wrong with your name?” My mother interrupted us by stepping out on the porch I grimaced when my father followed.

“Oh it is just dandy.” I grunted.

“Beautiful night.” Dad sighed happily wrapping his arm around Mom’s shoulders.

I shifted slightly away from Ginny who was smiling up at my parents. It was hard not to smile. For a couple of old fogies at times they acted like newlyweds. “Eleanore Roosevelt is a great lady.” Dad sternly informed me.

“No doubt Dad,” I agreed. “It was just a little embarrassing on my first day of school.”

“Embarrassing?” Dad grumbled.

“Not to interrupt a family brawl,” Ginny cleared her throat. “I believe you asked me a question. Yes, I told Laurie but not to be mean or anything. I thought it was funny.”

“Funny?” My Dad grunted.

“Not funny ha ha,” Ginny quickly amended. “Ironic because my middle name is Woolf.”

“Huh?” I shook my head not understanding why my mother was laughing then it hit me. “Virginia Woolf?”

“Now girls,” Mom continued giggle. “The both of you have been blessed. You’re named after a remarkable first lady who still does good work. And you are named after a brilliant author. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Now I know where you get your love of books from.” Ginny smiled.

“Both of them actually.” I confessed.

“Isn’t it nice how they talk about us like we aren’t here?” Dad quipped.

“So what’s Laurie’s middle name?” I questioned.

“Samantha,” Ginny grimaced. “Laura Samantha Swenson. They already had a name picked out if it was a girl. They just weren’t expecting two of us.”

“Oh my, one of you must have been shy,” Mom giggled. “I got so big when I was carrying Ellie I was terrified that she was going to be twins. Stop staring Sam.” She scolded my Dad. I jerked my head up relieved when I discovered that he was ogling Ginny’s car again. “It’s just a car.”

“Well that’s my cue to make tracks,” Ginny sighed regrettably standing. “Unless you wanted to take it for a spin Sir?” She taunted Dad dangling the keys in front of him.

“Really?” He gushed.

“No Sam,” Mom halted him.

“I don’t mind,” Ginny politely offered.

“That is sweet of you Ginny, but Mr. Druette indulged a little tonight,” Mom cautioned.

“Dang it all,” Dad grunted. “You’re right Honey. Drinking and driving don’t mix. Can’t expect you kids not to do it if I do. But thank you Ginny.” Then he excused himself before heading back inside.

“Never could hold his liquor,” Mom offered in conspiratorial whisper. “That’s how you got your name.”

“What?” I gaped at her noticing a clearness in her eyes. Over the past couple weeks I had noticed that even though she was still glued to the soaps the afternoon martini sessions had stopped along with Dad’s pre dinner cocktail. I had to admit it was nice.

“Why don’t we walk Ginny to her car?” Mom offered keeping her voice low and checking over her shoulder to ensure Dad wasn’t lurking about. We strolled towards the car when she quietly began. “Your father was a nervous Nellie the whole time I was expecting you. First baby and all. Well I was in the delivery room and he was pacing in the waiting room with the rest of the new dads. Location for business’ is very important.”

“That is what my Dad always says,” Ginny concurred.

“Mr. McGinty was a wise man; retired at thirty because he had the good sense to put a bar across the street from the wing of the hospital that housed the maternity ward,” Mom giggled. “Mr. Druette decided to take a little stroll. When he got back the doctors told him it’s a girl and he shouted out Eleanore Roosevelt before I could stop him.” I had laugh at the way Mom was dramatically waving her hands.

“Maybe that is why my brother was named Nathaniel Hawthorne?” Ginny questioned leaning against her car.

“Your parents certainly have a thing for literature,” Mom teased. “Wait I didn’t know you had a brother?”

“Had.” I softly clarified.

“Oh I’m sorry,” Mom apologized giving Ginny a hug.

Ginny and I said goodnight. It was killing me not to be able to at least hug her. “She is such a nice girl.” Mom said guiding me back towards the house. “One of these Sundays you girls should stay and join the family for dinner.”

“That would be nice Mom.” I nodded wondering how my suddenly understanding parents would feel if they knew what was really going on between Ginny and I.

The following Sunday we shared dinner with my family. Ginny fit right in even joining in when Dad suggested an impromptu game of football on the lawn. Even little Sammy joined in on the game, something he never did. I think the little bugger just wanted a chance to be in a huddle with Ginny. Mom took pictures and the whole family had a great day. After the festivities Sammy was shuffled off to bed and my folks settled in front of the television. Ginny and I opted to take a long walk.

We could have gone for a drive ending up at our favorite spot. It just didn’t seem right that night. It was a cool, crisp autumn evening and a stroll around my quaint neighborhood was the perfect ending to a perfect day. We must have circled the block over a hundred times. We didn’t care; we were far too caught up in just talking with one another. As much as I enjoyed our hot and heavy make out session, just being with her exchanging our thoughts was pure bliss. For me it was another awakening. We didn’t have to be physical to enjoy one another. Don’t get me wrong the physical aspect was amazing and I was eagerly anticipating learning more. Ginny after all was a very gifted tutor.

Still just walking and talking that night filled me with hope that there was so much more happening between us than simple raw passion. The only drag was we couldn’t hold hands. Another reminder that the world was unprepared for us. There was one other thing niggling at me. Each time Ginny spoke of her future plans it was always prefaced with the word we. Me not being one of the we. No she was referring to her twisted twin sister. I wanted to tell her that just perhaps it was time to cut the cord. I couldn’t bring myself to say it knowing it would only serve to spoil our romantic evening. After our stroll was over we hid down at the end of the driveway stealing a few shy kisses before she had to leave.

The following week proved to be exciting. It was Home coming. A very important event in our little world. Our duties were to the team and, of course, our men. That part was a huge drag but, as Ginny said, we do what we have to do. The team rocked led by Bobby and Stewie. The game was a blow out. We cheered our hearts out along the sidelines our cheeks rosy from the cold weather not that it mattered. The Tigers were kicking serious butt, my parents were cheering us on from the stands, and Ginny was by my side. It was a great weekend. The whole town got into the celebration. There were parties, dances and general hoopla. For me the best part was Sunday. Ginny surprised me with dinner at my first grown up restaurant. The Cantina Italiana was nestled in Boston’s North End. I felt shabby when the Mairte d’ greeted us and escorted us to a table nestled in the back away from prying eyes.

I felt like a fish out of water when I spied the candle burning brightly on the table making the dozen some odd forks sprawled across the table glisten. The table cloths and napkins were real linen. I looked down at my simple dress feeling completely frumpy.

“You look amazing.” Ginny reassured me as if she was reading my thoughts.

“Thank you,” I blushed brushing out my simple dress that I only dragged out of my closet so I could wear it to a wedding or a funeral. “So do you.” I sighed appreciatively drinking in the vision of her beaded black dress that clung to her body in all the right places. ‘Oh I so don’t want to end tonight with a nice romantic stroll.’ My inner self screamed.

“I hope you like Italian,” she shyly whispered. “The food is really good here. Pity we can’t indulge in a little wine. They have a really great selection.”

I just nodded my head perusing the menu trying to understand what was what. Hell I was thrown that the menu was thick and not printed out on cheap paper. I never thought much about the economic differences between us until that moment. Yes, I noticed her fancy set of wheels, the way her house was set up like a museum, and the color television which was just unheard of, and of course, the staff running around making sure that everything was perfect. The thing was when I was with Ginny, she was just Ginny. She even had an after school job unlike Sandy and Laurie who also were born to the Country Club set.

“See anything you like?” She questioned after I had managed to drain my glass of water. I was so nervous that I just kept sipping the water hoping she wouldn’t notice that she was out with a complete dweeb.

“Besides you?” I nervously smiled.

“You’re so naughty,” she softly cooed. “I love it.”

I blushed and set my menu down. Blowing out a terse breath. “Can I be honest?” I quietly questioned.

“Always.” She insisted covering my hand with her own.

“I feel a little out of my element here,” I timidly confessed. “Most places I go out to everything comes with fries. I have no idea what half the stuff on the menu is.”

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” She graciously offered.

“No way,” I laughed. “I just forget sometimes, well most times, we really aren’t from the same side of the tracks. It’s like when I go out shopping with Sandy. I forget that she’s only going to the same school as us because she got kicked out of that fancy smancy private school her folks shipped her off to. Whenever we go shopping she finds a dozen things she likes and just tells the clerk to put it on Daddy’s bill and ship it to the house. Me, if I find anything I have to balance whether or not the sweater is worth it or if I should just put the money in my college fund.”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable,” she quickly apologized. “We really can go somewhere else.”

“No,” I smiled. “This place is great. But you will have to order for me. And explain to me what you ordered. So next time I’ll know.”

“You trust me?” She pried with a devilish grin.

“Implicitly.” I agreed.

“Ooo I just love big words,” she beamed. “Fine I’ll order but I have to warn you that everything is so good. Chances are after we finish we’ll be so stuffed that we might not fit through the door. After dinner I suggest taking a long walk.”

“I’m in your more than capable hands,” I sighed thinking a walk was the last thing I wanted to do that night.

Ginny wasn’t shining me on dinner was outstanding. I had to pass on dessert which is something I rarely do. I was truly looking forward to walking around the city. It was the only way my dress would still fit after devouring the mounds of veal and pasta, not to mention the appetizers she had ordered. The conversation during dinner once again warmed my heart. The only surprising events were that no one seemed to notice that throughout the meal we were holding hands and some gentleman sent over a bottle of wine. I was ready to refuse fearful that we would get into trouble.

“We can’t,” Ginny explained in a hushed tone. “That is Gino Degrassi. Like Sandy I spent a lot of years in private schools. His daughter and I were friends years ago. I think Daddy does a little business with him.”

“I don’t get it,” I stammered. “Then he knows we’re underage.”

“Trust me no one will object to his gift. Suffice to say that in this neighborhood you don’t refuse any gift he offers,” Ginny softly cautioned removing her hand from mine when the silver haired gentleman approached. “Thank you Mr. Degrassi. It was very kind of you to send over such a fine vintage.”

“It is my pleasure,” he nodded politely. This guy was beyond suave. “I understand you left Oak Ridge. Pity. You were very helpful with Gina and her studies. For that I am most grateful. Also it is a sin to allow two such beautiful young ladies to forgo enjoying wine with a fine meal.”

“I got into some trouble,” she shamefully supplied. “Daddy felt it was best that we try public school.”

“I see,” he narrowed his eyes. “According to my daughter it was your sister who made the transgression. I hold anyone that protects their family in very high regard.”

“Mr. Degrassi this is my friend Eleanore,” she nervously introduced me.

“A pleasure,” he nodded taking my hand and kissing the back of it. “Enjoy the wine.”

“Thank you again sir,” Ginny politely addressed him. “My best to Gina and the rest of the family.”

Then he was gone. I sipped the wine taking our time since Ginny had to drive. I was shocked when the waiter explained that Mr. Degrassi had picked up our check. “Beautiful night,” I sighed happily once we exited the restaurant. “So tell me about our benefactor?”

“He’s a nice guy,” she hedged as we strolled along the winding streets. “His daughter and I were friends.”

“Oh?” I cringed, feeling a slight twinge of jealousy.

“Not special friends,” she quickly amended. “She was having so much trouble with some of her studies that she was on the verge of flunking out. I helped her, not because of who her father is but because she needed it.”

“And exactly who is her father?” I couldn’t refrain from questioning.

“Gino Degrassi is a made man,” she blew out with a slight shiver.

“Still lost.”

“Cosa Nostra,” she slowly explained. Again I was completely dumbfounded. “Mafia.” She finally spelled out.

“He’s a gangster?” I squealed stopping in my tracks.

“Oh not just a gangster,” she shivered once again. “This guy is way up there. Trust me you don’t want to be on his bad side. Sleeping with the fishes isn’t just a colorful expression in his world. If we had refused the wine, he would have been insulted. Trust me he is the last guy you want to insult. Or owe a favor to.”

“He seemed so nice,” I stammered.

“He is,” she shrugged. “Just because he’s in the mob doesn’t mean he lacks manners. I just hope my Dad really isn’t doing business with him.”

“Wow you really know how to show a girl a good time,” I gasped slipping my hand in hers. “An elegant meal and a fine bottle of wine complements of a mob boss.”

“I do what I can,” she boasted. “Wouldn’t want you to get bored with me.”

“You are never boring,” I surmised slipping my hand from hers when we spotted another couple approaching. “I hate that.” I groaned as we continued our stroll.

“It really sucks,” she grimaced.

The walk around the city was beautiful. It was Sunday night and the bustling city was quiet. Unlike later times there weren’t any nightclubs open or bars. It was still against the law to go dancing on Sunday nights. I later learned that was why all of the underground dance clubs geared towards gays were open on Sundays. The reasoning being that no decent person would go out on a Sunday night. Fine I wasn’t decent and I didn’t care. I was enjoying the city and my charming escort. It made me feel like I was halfway to heaven.

“Stop by the lake,” I quietly suggested after we crossed the town line.

“Ellen,” she whimpered. “I really want to but it is already way past your curfew.”

“Not fair,” I pouted as she laughed. “Do you have any idea how hot you look in that dress?”

“Thank you,” she whispered and I could see a slight blush covering her delicate features. “I just don’t want you to get grounded. If we can’t go out next Sunday it will kill me.”

“So dramatic,” I teased her by sliding my hand up along her thigh.

“You fight dirty,” she choked out still directing her car towards my home. “It’s almost midnight.”

“I don’t care,” I groused. “Fine but would you park at the end of the driveway? I really want to thank you for tonight.”

She just smiled stopping the car by the overgrown hedges. We wasted no time in fogging up the windows. I slipped her coat from her body. My hands were eagerly exploring every inch of her dress before taking a detour beneath it. She kept kissing me only stopping to whimper my name. I was doing my fair share of whimpering when she began massaging my breasts. She released a frustrated groan when I finally forced myself to curb our passion.

“You take my breath away,” I whimpered pulling away from her fearful that I would once again give into temptation.

“You are much too far away from me,” she purred casting a hooded gaze over at me.

I bit down on my bottom lip fighting against the tidal wave coursing through my body. “And I’m over two hours late for my curfew,” I reluctantly stated. “I wish we could just run away and leave all this behind us.”

“So do I,” she blew out straightening her clothing. “Do you want me to come in with you? Your folks seem to be very understanding when I talk to them.”

“No,” I snickered. “I’ll face the music by myself this time. You really do have a way with my parents. Still I can handle it.”

She walked me to the door, the porch light instantly flipping on. “Oh I’m in trouble,” I grimaced. “Good night. If they don’t kill me I’ll see you in school tomorrow.”

“Good night.” She smiled before making her departure.

“Eleanore Roosevelt Druette,” Dad bellowed the second I opened the door.

“I’m screwed,” I mumbled quickly closing the door behind me.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Dad continued his tirade. “What on earth were you doing all night? It’s almost one in the morning.”

I almost corrected him by saying it was only twelve thirty seven but somehow I thought it would be a poor choice. “I’m sorry.” I cringed not missing the way my mother was glaring at me from behind my father’s back.

“Start talking young lady,” he demanded. “If this isn’t good you’re not seeing the outside world until you’re thirty.”

“We went to dinner,” I feebly began mentally calculating how many years I’d be under house arrest.

“Try again,” Dad growled. “On a Sunday night nothing is open past nine.”

“We went into Boston,” I shrank back.

“Boston? Now what is wrong with grabbing a bite to eat in Cedar Hills?” Mom threw in her two cents.

“Well the restaurant was really nice,” I gulped.

“Oh please,” Mom scoffed. “What restaurant?”

“It was called,” I quickly scrambled. “Cantina Italiana.”

“Beg pardon?” Mom gaped. “You went there? I’ve never been there. I always wanted to.”

“Have you been drinking?” Dad demanded sniffing me.

“Oh boy,” I groaned shaking in my shoes.

“What did you have to eat?” Mom inquired seeming to lose track of the situation.

“Doris? She’s been drinking!” Dad harped.

“Eleanore you know better than that,” Mom wagged her finger at me.

“We didn’t order the wine,” I protested. “Ginny said that we had to accept when Mr. Degrassi sent it over. She said refusing his gift would have been rude.”

“Rude?” Mom huffed. “What kind of fruitcake buys a bottle of wine for a couple of teenagers?”

“Degrassi?” Dad turned pale. “Princess what was his first name?”

“Who cares?” Mom fussed.

“Gino.” I shrugged not having the slightest clue that my dear sweet father would have a clue. “His daughter was at one of Ginny’s old schools and I guess Ginny helped her with her grades. So he sent over the wine and picked up the check to thank her. You know for helping his daughter. We wanted to say no.”

“Then you should have.” Mom was on a roll.

“Uhm, no they couldn’t,” Dad gulped.

“Sam?”

“Doris he’s a wise guy,” Dad shook his head.

“Huh?” Mom questioned.

“A mobster,” Dad clarified. “They couldn’t insult him. Trust me.”

“You were eating with gangsters?” Mom screeched.

“No I ate with Ginny,” I shook my head. “We just said hello and thanked him for his generosity. I swear that was it. Ginny only knows him because she helped his kid with her grades.”

“Good call,” Dad gulped. “So what was he like?” He brightly chimed.

“Really nice,” I confessed with a hint of surprise. “And a sharp dresser too. You know if Ginny hadn’t of told me what he does I would have thought he was just a nice business man.”

“Oh no Sam,” Mom piped in. “She’s not getting off the hook. Staying out this late and drinking just because it was an adventure doesn’t mean she gets a pass on this one.”

“Right,” Dad conceded. “For the next week, your life is restricted to school, work, practice and the game. That’s it. No going out next Sunday.”

“Dad!” I wailed.

“For pity sake Eleanore it is only one week,” Mom hushed me. “You can invite Ginny over here for dinner, but no strolls afterward. Honestly for this little stunt you should be locked up for at least a month.”

“Okay,” I accepted knowing that I was really getting off easy.

“Good,” Mom nodded linking her arm in mine and guiding me towards the staircase. “And since you’ll be spending so much time at home you can tell me all about the restaurant and that gangster fellow.”

“Geez Mom you’re frothing at the mouth,” I shook my head.

“You’re seventeen and your life is more exciting than mine,” she scolded me. “But as I said you’ll have so much free time this week you can share all the details with your poor old mother while you’re cooking dinner, doing the dishes, folding the laundry; you get my point.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” I gave in.

“Now bed young lady,” she sternly informed me. “You have to get up for school in a couple of hours.”

The following week I was restricted to school, work and general slave labor around the house. Not a bad deal except my mother needed to hear every little detail about my trip into the city. She was thrilled and I think a little hurt. When Mom was seventeen she was already married to my dad. “Why did you pass on dessert?” She was horrified.

“Trust me after that meal I was far too stuffed,” I confided in her.

“I would have gone for bust,” Mom proclaimed.

“Well your anniversary is coming up maybe you could convince Dad to take you there,” I reasoned.

“Fat chance,” she laughed. “Eleanore just so we are clear, you’re not going to pull another stunt like this. Is that understood? Next time we won’t be so forgiving. Lucky for you we like Ginny.”

I looked over at her taken aback by the look of hesitation in her eyes. I didn’t get it at the time. Later I’d realized my mother wasn’t as unworldly as I had always assumed that she was. Back then I just assumed she was worried I had stayed out so late and had been drinking. I just shrugged it off. I spent the entire week at school dodging questions. Everyone wanted to know why I had been grounded. I must have come up with dozens of lame excuses. No one believed me. What could I do? Ginny and I craved that one day a week when it was just the two of us. If I fessed up that I had been out with her, I knew they’d want to crash the party.

Ginny was thrilled that I had only been grounded for one week and we could still see one another that Sunday, even if it was under the watchful eye of my parents. “I’m counting the days,” I confided in her after practice one afternoon.

“Still one week isn’t so bad,” she tried to comfort me.

That weekend the unthinkable happened. We were on the sidelines cheering our hearts out when the crowd suddenly became quiet. Just the weekend before we won the big Homecoming game. Bobby was the hero and naturally at the dance that night Laurie, by virtue of being his steady, received the honor of being elected Homecoming Queen. Seven days later there was no celebrating around the bonfire. It was the middle of the third quarter when Bobby got sacked and didn’t get up. In the blink of an eye Bobby Walford’s life changed forever. He broke his leg effectively ending his season and his shot at a full ride from LSU.

A couple of nights later Ron and I were cruising around. Everyone had been down in the dumps when Bobby broke his leg. Not only was one of our friends hurt but it began a downward spiral for the team. Even though Ron never made my heart go pitter pat he was a good friend. It was getting late and since it was a school night we’d have to be heading home soon. One of the things I really liked about Ron was he never pushed to get me to go parking. Even when we went to a dance together he never groped me. I always felt like a rat. There I was dancing in his arms while looking over his shoulder watching Ginny dancing with her date. Each time they would play The Great Pretender, I just wanted to bust out crying.

That night Ron was more than eager to settle for grabbing a couple of burgers at Buddy’s before driving me home. Knowing that none of the gang was out that night we parked in one of the spots outside deciding to just eat in the car. The carhop rolled up ready to take our order when Stewie came rushing out. “Guys I need your help!” He frantically pleaded.

“What gives?” Ron questioned climbing out of his Desoto Woodie Wagon. Being the gentleman he was he quickly made his way over and opened the passenger side door for me.

“It’s Bobby,” Stewie blew out. “He’s lost it man.”

We rushed after Stewie uncertain of what had happened. Bobby was all alone in one of the booths looking like he had just lost his best friend. ‘Why Do Fools Fall In Love?’ was blaring from the jukebox. “He’s been playing that song over and over again,” Stewie confided. “Anytime anyone else tries to play something else he takes a swing at them with his crutch. My Dad is ready to call the cops.”

“What happened besides losing his spot on the team?” Ron asked.

“Laurie gave him the old heave ho,” Stewie grumbled.

“Well she certainly doesn’t waste any time.” I grunted.

I could smell the booze long before I got near him. Laurie had struck again. “Hey Bobby,” I greeted him.

“Ellen.” He sniffed.

“What do ya say Bobby? How about Ron and I give you a lift home?” I suggested. “Or pick another song. Frankly you’re bringing the place down.”

“No.” He flatly refused.

“Bobby,” I slowly began trying to think of the right words. “For the record Laurie is a first class, A number one bitch. You can do better.”

“You don’t get it,” he shouted. “Nobody understands.”

“Oh I understand,” I sighed fighting against the anger boiling up inside of me. The problem was I did understand. I had seen Laurie flashing her true colors all too many times. Dumping Bobby after he was no longer a trophy was her style. “I understand that you broke your leg and when you needed her the most she ditched you. I understand that if something bad had happened to her you would have moved heaven and earth just to help her out. Now come on.”

It took Ron and me another hour to finally convince Bobby to get his butt in the car. His parents were disappointed when we carried him in drunk as a skunk. I think they loosened up a little bit when I explained that Laurie dumped him. They thanked us for taking care of him and then Ron drove me home where I had to face my own parents. It was really late when I got in. Although they seemed to be understanding that I was delayed because I was helping a friend, I still got a lecture.

In the following weeks Laurie moved on to at least two new boyfriend. Bobby started a downward spiral and Ron was beginning to distrust me. As well he should since I ditched him every Sunday to be with Ginny. We tried to be careful still little marks on my person clearly revealed that Ron was not the only person in my life. I didn’t care. I was only concerned with my college entrance exams, spending as much time with Ginny as possible, and trying to get Bobby to pull his head out of his ass. Helping Bobby was the only thing that wasn’t working.

I was seventeen and thought I was invincible. All I had to do was endure a semester and a half of high school and figure out a way to keep Ginny in my life the following September. My first indication that life wasn’t what I thought it was happened one night when Mom was watching the evening news. Gino Degrassi, the kindly older man who treated me to my first taste of expensive wine, made the mistake of stepping out of his home without his bodyguard. He was gunned down by a group of unknown assailants. It was so strange to see it on television. I had met this man and he had treated me kindly. Ginny reminded me that despite his manners he was a mobster. Her father was unhinged by the event not by any loyalty he felt towards Mr. Degrassi, but because he was probably doing business with him.

Ginny’s fears that her father was in bed with the mob were confirmed when the Christmas trip was suddenly canceled. “So you get to stay here for Christmas?” I was giddy at the thought that we could share the holiday together. I didn’t understand why Ginny was glum.

“Ellen,” she confided one afternoon while we were lingering by my locker. “He canceled the trip because the business associate he was meeting is dead.”

“Mr. Degrassi?” I gulped fearfully.

“How can he be so stupid?” Ginny huffed. “Doing business with the mob? I swear for a brilliant man sometimes my father is a couple donuts short of a dozen. What are you wearing to the dance?” She quickly changed the subject.

“I want to surprise you,” I coyly teased her.

“Stinker,” she pouted. “How’s it going with Ron?”

“Up and down,” I groaned. “He knows something is going on. He just can’t figure out who the guy is.”

“Ha,” she laughed. “I feel bad. Ron really is a nice guy.”

“So is Earl,” I groaned. “I’m going to cut Ron loose after the Winter Ball. I’m not being fair to him. I feel like a creep using him just so I don’t have go to dances alone. It’s wrong.”

“Yes it is,” she nodded. “I’m dumping Earl in the near future as well. So that means the both of us will be single over the winter break.”

“Not really,” I corrected her in a hushed tone. “But I get your drift. No one will question us spending time together if we don’t have our steadies to keep us busy during the holidays. You’re such a clever girl. No wonder you’re on the Dean’s list.”

“So are you,” she nudged me. “I have to go. Laurie’s waiting.”

I almost cringed when she mentioned Laurie’s name. I fought against the urge. Laurie had been keeping her end of the bargain. Still there was something brewing. I could just feel it. Every time she batted her baby blues at me I knew she was plotting something. My only hope was to just brace myself and trust Ginny.

“Do you need help Mom?” I questioned one Wednesday afternoon when I and three of my fellow cheerleaders were crowded around the kitchen table cramming for a history test which was, of course, the following morning. Normally we would have crammed into my room and studied up there. For some reason Mom didn’t trust us to study up there. She was convinced that all we would end up doing was playing 45’s and gossiping about boys. She was right of course. Not that I would admit it at the time.

“You just keep studying,” Mom waved off my suggestion. “Are you girls sure I can’t get you anything?”

“No thank you,” we all chimed except for Laurie who responded with “I’m good.”

“So was it Harrison or Van Buren?” Sandy questioned while I frantically flipped through my notes.

“Harrison.” Margie answered.

“Hi Dad,” I greeted my father as he entered the kitchen.

“Kitten,” he smiled while my friends snickered. “Hey kiddo what happened to the Chevy? That’s a heck of dent.” He mistakenly questioned Laurie.

“My sister has a temper.” She slowly explained her eyes darting around completely thrown by Dad’s question.

“I could probably get it out with my plumber’s helper.” Dad volunteered.

“That won’t be necessary,” she scoffed at the suggestion. “Daddy’s mechanic will take care of it.” She added in a dismissive tone. “He is just refusing to pay for it until we tell him what the fight was about.”

“Where’s Scooter? The boy is usually hanging all over you like a monkey in a tree?” Dad laughed taken aback by Laurie’s hostile glare.

“I beg your pardon?” She responded in a cold tone.

“Sam, this is Laurie,” Mom finally spelled out for him.

“Oh? That would it explain it then.” Dad curtly responded as Mom shuffled him out of the kitchen.

“What is with your parents?” Laurie sneered.

“Nothing,” I snapped. “They just think that you’re the evil twin. Ginny claims that she is.”

“She is.” Laurie quipped with a flip of her ponytail. “Did you see my car?”

I really wanted to tell Miss High and Mighty that everyone thought she was the evil one after the number she pulled on Bobby. What really surprised me was that no one told her off. Not only that but Bobby was slowing slipping from the A list. I really didn’t get my friends sometimes. Why was it cool to hang with Laurie even though all of us snipe about the way she ditched poor Bobby? Only to turn around and forget to call him to come hang out with us. It wasn’t his fault his leg was broken and our beloved Tigers dropped from first to the basement.

“Sorry I’m late,” Ginny announced entering the kitchen with my kid brother clinging to her leg. “I have my notes. Hopefully Donner doesn’t change the lesson plan from class to class.” She proclaimed waving her notebook about before extracting my brother from her body. “Sorry Sam I have to study.” She explained kneeling before him. “Next time?”

“Okay Ginny,” he giggled before darting off.

“Gross,” Laurie blanched when Ginny sat down beside her. I was a little miffed that not only was Laurie acting like a jerk, but Ginny was sitting so far away from me. “He was looking at your tits.”

“He always does that,” Ginny shrugged not really bothered. She snapped open her notebook and ignored her sister.

“Yeah he’s a budding pervert,” I confessed. “He did discover something interesting.” Ginny snickered heartily.

“I bet he did,” Laurie cringed.

“He said that Ginny is bigger.” I casually threw out pleased when my friends checked out the information. Actually he never said it. I figured it out by ogling Ginny’s chassis. Still I’m certain that was one of the ways little Sammy could distinguish between the twins.

“So she is.” Margie gloated with an appreciative nod.

“Just barely,” Laurie huffed folding her arms over her chest while her sister cackled.

“Hello Ginny,” Mom beamed when she rejoined us.

“Good afternoon Mrs. Druette.” Ginny politely responded. “How are you this afternoon?”

“I’m good,” Mom gushed. “Can I get you anything?”

“No thank you.”

“If tea time is over can we crack the books?” Laurie grumbled.

“Laurie,” Ginny glared at her sister.

“Sorry Mrs. Druette,” Laurie bemoaned with a fake smile. “We really need to cover this material.”

“Not a problem Laurie,” Mom stated with a smile that never reached her eyes.

“I mean Ellen is vying for a spot at Stanford,” Laurie tossed out causing my jaw to drop.

‘How did she know I had applied? Only my guidance counselor knows that!’ My mind screamed. I had only begun to consider the possibility a couple of Sundays ago when Ginny and I were at our spot by the lake. We were sitting in her car wrapped in a blanket watching the stars while discussing the future. It was a long shot at best but what would be the harm of applying? At that point in my life I still wasn’t capable of admitting that I didn’t want to say goodbye to Ginny come September.

“I’m sorry what?” Mom stammered glaring at me.

“You applied to Stanford?” Ginny blinked with a smile.

“I’m sorry was that a secret?” Laurie apologized even clasping her chest to emphasize her innocence. “I swear I didn’t know. I was just surprised when Mrs. Briggs told me. She was amazed that three members of the cheering squad had applied there.”

“Wait I thought you wanted to go to Smith?” Margie questioned.

“Stanford?” Mom gulped. “As in the school located on the other side of the country? That Stanford?”

“It was on my list,” I stammered. “I also applied to Penn State and Syracuse along with Smith which is still my top choice. But I had to apply to other schools. Mrs. Briggs said I shouldn’t put all of my eggs in basket.”

“She said the same thing to me Mrs. Druette,” Laurie continued to taunt me. “That is why we also applied to UCLA and Berkley.”

“That’s nice dear,” Mom groaned rubbing her throbbing temple. “Excuse me I need to talk to your father.”

“You’re so rude,” Ginny hissed under her breath after my mother made her departure.

“I said I was sorry,” Laurie tersely answered. “Move you’re on the wrong side,” she groaned when they bumped elbows.

“Then I’ll bump elbows with Sandy,” Ginny complained as they switched seats. Then Sandy switched seats with Margie.

“Not my fault.” Laurie protested.

“Yeah it is,” Ginny grinned. “Just cause you were born first and a righty doesn’t mean you’re the boss of me.”

‘That’s what I noticed in math class and those other times! Ginny is left handed.’ I suddenly realized surprised that I hadn’t noticed before. Back then teachers usually forced you to learn how to write with your right hand not caring if it was natural for you.

My smile vanished when I realized what Laurie was trying to tell me with her little chat regarding the college of her choice. Ginny would attend whatever college that accepted the both of them. I took one look at the sheepish frown Ginny was sporting and my suspicions were confirmed.

“So now it is my fault I’m right handed?” Laurie complained. “You’re such a freak.”

“With bigger boobs,” Margie noted switching seats with Sandy. “Now if we’re finished with our game of musical chairs, can we get back to our history test?”

“Dishes are done,” I announced later that evening after I had finished my chores. “If it is okay I’m gonna study some more.”

“Going to.” Mom corrected me. “Go study but don’t stay up too late.”

“Uhm Mom is it okay if I hang out with Ginny on Sunday?” I sheepishly inquired.

“Of course,” Mom smiled. “It will be just Ginny right?”

“Yes Mom,” I sighed.

“Ginny is a sweet girl,” Mom sighed.

“Yeah she’s a good egg,” I couldn’t help smiling.

“You know who Laurie reminds me of?” She smiled.

“Who?”

“Her mother.” She stated with a serious look. “You would think if you share a placenta with someone maybe a little manners would rub off.”

“Don’t ever change Mom.” I shook my head grinning like an idiot.

“Go study,” she waved. “Oh and Ellie about Stanford it is never going to happen.”

“Mom, I only applied.” I stammered.

“California is out of the question.” She cut me to the quick. “Oh don’t give me that look the dog didn’t die. You can further your education just fine on this coast. Now go study.”

Sundays quickly became my favorite day of the week. Ginny and I spent every Sunday we could together. She even joined my family for dinner several times. Then we would make our escape. It was getting harder and harder keeping the rest of our friends away. Then there were, of course, our boyfriends. I was still with Ron. Thankfully Earl lasted only until just after the Winter Ball. I literally did a cartwheel when Ginny told me she gave him the old heave ho. Since we were at practice no one noticed. Ginny and I were becoming quite resourceful when it came to hiding our relationship. Still there were questions as to where we were and what was going on.

It didn’t stop us from our Sunday outings and of course, the all time great excuse of studying together. Our study sessions normally took place at my house. I didn’t like going to Ginny’s. Her parents were very cold and distant people and despite the fact that Laurie was keeping her word and behaving herself I wasn’t comfortable being around her. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but she was up to something. Perhaps it was the way she followed us around and kept snagging Ginny’s ID. Now in 1956 having an ID that said you were seventeen wasn’t a big yuck. Trust me if you were going to snag an ID you’d want one that said you were twenty-one; now that would be useful.

After the Winter Ball Ron and I went our separate ways. Which didn’t come as a surprise to anyone. One Friday afternoon about a week before classes were going to end for the semester the squad ended up huddled in the ladies room. It wasn’t an unusual event. We always commandeered the girls’ room right after lunch. I was shivering when I came in. Since old lady Speery had started patrolling the bathrooms we couldn’t smoke in there after lunch. “God it is cold out there,” I shivered interrupting the lecture Margie was giving Betsy.

“He is too happy,” Margie scolded the youngster.

“Shouldn’t he be?” Betsy questioned in confusion.

“Davis?” I questioned fixing my make up.

“Junior Varsity and not even first string,” Sandy scoffed.

“He could be next year.” I added trying to help. Davis and Betsy seemed happy why should we interfere?

“Ellen I’m trying to educate the girl,” Margie nudged me. “Davis is happy because you worship him. We are cheerleaders kiddo; they are supposed to worship us. Not the other way around.”

“It’s true,” Candy agreed. “Look at Ron he’s miserable.”

“We broke up remember,” I objected.

“Face it Ellen have any of your boyfriends been happy campers?” Margie teased.

“Not a one,” I boasted. “That’s because no matter what Groper said, I don’t put out.” I almost choked when I spied Ginny’s reflection in the mirror.

“None of us put out,” Candy winked. “Well almost none of us.”

Everyone broke out into laughter. Except Ginny who blushed. Things between us were really nice even though we were exploring some new and very interesting things we still hadn’t done the deed. Ginny respected me which was great still I was taking a lot of cold showers. “Who is going on the ski trip this weekend?” Sandy questioned. Everyone except for me said that they would.

“What do you do every Sunday?” Margie questioned just as the bell rang.

“This Sunday I’m working,” I groaned. “My boss wants to start opening the store on Sundays just for the holiday shopping season. Sucks my one day off.”

“Which you never spend with us.” Sandy noted pushing me aside so she could check her lipstick. “And we want to know what you’ve been doing?”

“Better still who?” Candy snickered.

“I swear she has some hunky college guy stashed somewhere,” Margie sighed.

“Speaking of hunky college guys,” Laurie smirked. “Wait till you meet my date for the trip.”

“No,” Candy gasped.

“Sophomore at Dartmouth.” She boasted.

“Was that the nerd you were hanging all over at the country club?” Sandy blanched.

“He’s not a nerd.” Laurie snapped.

“I swear you change guys more often than you change your socks,” Margie groaned.

“He’s a college man,” Laurie laughed. “I’m just happy that nobody’s parents have figured out that our little trip is going to be coed.”

“Amen to that.” Sandy blew out. “Ellen you didn’t answer the question. What’s up?”

“What’s up is that I’m about to late for my English Lit final,” I tossed out before ducking out of the crowded bathroom.

“Hold up,” Ginny whispered pulling me aside. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” I merrily replied. “Sorry about Sunday.”

“The trip is gonna be a real drag without you,” she groaned. “Plus Laurie is really into this new guy so I’d be a fifth wheel if I try to hang with them. Kind of ironic; a cookin’ ski trip planned so we can mess around and I’m actually going to ski. Kind of grody that your boss won’t let you have the weekend off.”

“He really needs me; it is the first Sunday he is going to open. But no biggie,” I shrugged. “He said that he’ll try to cut me some slack during the break.”

“How much slack?” She questioned with sultry tone and I was truly intrigued.

“Why?”

“Could you get the weekend after next off?” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Say Thursday through Monday?”

“More like Friday through Sunday is doable,” I nodded moving slightly away from her when I noticed how busy the corridor was becoming. “Again why?”

“My folks have a cabin in Vermont,” she whispered. “I can get the keys and we could have the place to ourselves. All we need is a very plausible story to lay on your parents.”

“Are you kidding me?” I laughed as her face fell. “My parents adore you we can tell them the truth. Well not the whole truth. But I think they’ll let me go away with you for the weekend.”

“So?” She gulped. “Do you want to go?”

“A weekend all alone with you?” I sighed happily wondering when did she become so important to me. “I’d walk on broken glass just to get there. Better still you could drive. I’ll clear things with my boss and my parents tonight. I have to go I’m late.”

“You’ll do fine on the test,” she encouraged as I walked away.

“I think so,” I shout back at her. “I heard the essay section is on Virginia Woolf.”

I tapped my fingers nervously waiting for the phone to be answered. I had to wait until my parents were distracted so I could make the call. “Good evening Swenson residence.” Rosa the maid answered.

“Good Evening may I speak to Virginia please,” I politely requested peering into the living room to reassure myself that my parents were caught up with this week’s episode of Dragnet.

“May I ask who is calling?”

“Ellen Druette.”

“One moment Miss Ellen,” I could almost hear Rosa smiling. She knew it was me, but there were rules in the Swenson household. Lots and lots of rules regarding proper behavior.

“Hello,” Ginny purred into the phone. “How did your exam go?”

“Piece of cake,” I bragged.

“Do you have any other good news?” She whispered.

“After grilling me for half an hour just to be sure that we were the only ones going the folks gave me a green light on the trip,” I smiled into the phone. “My boss wasn’t a problem either since I’m pulling so many extra hours over the break.”

“God I love your voice,” Ginny murmured.

“Back at yah,” I sighed twirling the phone cord between my fingers. “I’m a little nervous. I still don’t understand what is happening between us.”

“We don’t have to go,” she reassured me. “And even if we go; it doesn’t have to mean that,”

“No I want to go,” I cut her off my stomach fluttering. “I want this. I’ve wanted it for a long time. Oops I have to go,” I mumbled when I saw my mother heading towards the kitchen. “Good night.”

“Good night,” she sighed softly.

“Everything alright?” My mother questioned just as I was hanging up.

“Nifty,” I shrugged. “I was just telling Ginny that I could go with her.”

“I don’t what you were so worried about,” Mom chuckled. “You’re seventeen now. A weekend away with your best friend is perfectly acceptable. Unless your best friend was Laurie. I was downtown the other day and I saw her hanging all over some boy who is much too old for her and she was smoking.”

“Mom you smoke.” I sputtered. ‘So do I and most of the senior class.’ I silently added. I also couldn’t help thinking that when my mom was seventeen she not only smoked she was married to my dad who is four years older than her.

“I am an adult.” Mom defended her actions.

“Gotcha,” I sighed.

“You know I was thinking.”

“Oh no,” I groaned whenever my dear sweet mother began a sentence that way normally it wasn’t good news.

“Eleanore,” she cautioned me. It always amazed me how she could chastise me while smiling like she was about to give me a present. “I was going to suggest that on your trip perhaps you could point out to Ginny what a fine school Smith is.”

“I love you Mommy.”

“I love you too, and I’m not doing your laundry for the trip,” she smiled.

“Well damn,” I huffed.

“No cussing young lady,” she wagged her finger at me. “Just remember Smith good, Stanford bad.” She played with me.

“Won’t go without her twin sister.” I stressed examining Mom closely. For half a second I thought she might have started drinking again. ‘Nope sober as a judge. She wants me to convince Ginny to attend the same school? She knows!’

“What?” Mom blurted out probably annoyed by the way I was staring at her.

“Nah,” I laughed realizing that my mom would never think that two girls could ever be more than friends. She was much too square for such a wild concept.

“Nah?” She huffed. “If you keep speaking in that manner I doubt you will need to worry about college. Would it kill you to speak like a lady instead of a carhop?”

“No Ma’am.” I smiled while she narrowed her eyes.

The week of the trip I was a nervous wreck. I didn’t sleep a wink on Thursday night. By Friday morning I was boarding on hysteria. I was excited and thrilled that Ginny and I were about to spend three days and nights together all alone. And I was terrified that Ginny and I were about to spend three days and, most importantly, three nights together all alone. No interruptions, no parents, no curfew and no reason on earth to stop when things got hot and heavy. And things between us always got hot and heavy. I just couldn’t resist her. I still didn’t understand why. And I was caring less and less as to why. All I cared about was the fact that I was so enthralled with her. More and more I just accepted that Ginny made me happy.

“Get off my bed!” I barked at Sammy when he bounced into my room and jumped on the bed. I felt like a jerk when he shrank back and crawled down. “Sorry Sam. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“Can I go with you?”

“No,” I smiled ruffling his hair.

“You always say that,” he pouted.

“Sorry,” I shrugged while thinking. ‘Sorry little guy but Ginny and I are probably going to have sex so no you’re not invited.’ My stomach was in knots just thinking about it. I really wanted it to happen and still I was terrified. I mean I didn’t know what to do. What if I got things wrong, mixed up parts or worse I sucked at it. I tried researching the subject. You would think working at a bookstore I’d be able to find something useful. The only thing I could find was The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall. And I had to be very careful when I ordered the book. A well written book that frankly depressed the crap out me. Talk about reconfirming all of the misguided perceptions I had only recently discovered were a load of horse pucky. I mean think about it. I fall for Ginny only to give her up so she could be with some guy. I don’t think so. My heart leapt when I heard my parents talking to someone downstairs.

“Ginny’s here!” Sam screamed darting for the door.

“Hold on,” I snagged the runt by his collar shoving my overnight bag in his hand. “Take this with you.” I was stunned when he happily took my heavy bag. “That kid would probably eat glass just to spend time with her.” I blew out while I rechecked my appearance in the mirror. “So would I.” I confessed before taking a deep breath and heading off to meet my companion.

“There you are Eleanore,” Mom waved for me to join them. “I was just telling Ginny how the whole family is driving up to Northampton next month to visit Smith. She should join us.” She added as if the thought had just suddenly occurred to her. Despite flashing her best Harriet Nelson smile she wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Thank you Mrs. Druette,” Ginny bit back a laugh looking to me for help.

“It is a wonderful college,” Mom pressed on not wavering in her convictions.

“I know,” Ginny nodded. “But my sister and I are planning on attending school on the West Coast.”

“Why in heavens name would you want to do that?” Mom gasped. “Nothing but hooligans and drug addicts out there.” Even Dad looked at her as if she had lost her mind. “What? I saw it on the news.”

“We have a long drive,” I slowly sputtered my eyes still locked on the crazy person who gave birth to me. I pushed Ginny out the door and into the car. I do have to thank mom for one thing. Her bout of insanity made me forget I was on my way to the place where I would more than likely lose my virginity.

The drive up was terrific. We held hands, sang along with the radio, and pointed out points of interest along the way. It was just like any drive we had shared. The only dim spot occurred just after we crossed the Vermont boarder and we got pulled over for speeding. Ginny laughed after the cop gave her the ticket. I didn’t understand until she showed me the ticket. Apparently Laurie had switched ID’s again. I hoped that it would teach her a lesson.

When we arrived at the cabin Ginny gave me a dozen roses she had kept hidden in the trunk of the car. The cabin was adorable, rustic but just modern enough to have a full kitchen and indoor plumbing. There was a huge fireplace in the living room and the master bedroom. My palms became a little sweaty when Ginny showed me the master bedroom and she set our bags down confirming that we would be bunking together. Just when I was ready to flip out she took me by the hand and led me into the living room.

Ginny lit fires in both fireplaces, took me for a walk in the snow, made dinner and cuddled with me by the fire after cleaning up the dishes. And not once did she do anything more than hold my hand. She did everything she could to make me happy. Talk about a lady. It was the most romantic night of my life. I was sitting by the fire in the main room leaning against her body while she caressed the back of my hand. “When did you apply to Stanford,” she timidly inquired nuzzling my neck.

“When I was getting the rest of my applications ready,” I answered feeling mildly silly and silently cursing Laurie for exposing me. “I thought … I don’t know what I thought.”

“Ellen I think about it too,” she tenderly murmured against my neck. “It’s just,” she paused giving my hand a light squeeze. “We’ve been mapping out our futures since the day we were born. We want to go to the West Coast. We think that the distance from our folks will be good for us. We selected our schools carefully.”

I pursed my lips collecting my thoughts praying that I wouldn’t say the wrong thing. I turned her hand over tracing the pattern of her life line. “Ginny,” I carefully started. “When I first met you last year you and Laurie seemed really bothered by how people were fascinated by you, staring at you and treating the two of you as if you were one person.”

“It’s annoying,” Ginny grunted. “Just because we are mirror images doesn’t mean we think or act alike. People just assume that we are identical in every way. A couple of times a guy would call and ask me out and when I declined he would ask to speak to Laurie. It was like these guys assumed that we’re interchangeable.”

“Since last summer you must have noticed that more and more people can tell you apart,” I stated.

“You were the first,” she happily interjected pulling me closer.

“But not the only one,” I continued enjoying the feel of her body cradling my own. “The both of you are as different as night and day. People are treating you as an individual. So why when you are talking about your future am I not hearing this is what I want, these are my plans and my goals? You always say we. What do you want?”

I held my breath when she failed to respond. I sat there torn between how good it felt to be in her arms and terrified by how she was going to answer my question. This was the biggest night of my life and I was scared to death that I might hear that come September this was only going to add up to be a fond memory. So I sat there watching the flames dancing in the fire, listening to her breathing and the faint sound of her heart beating.

“I want,” she cleared her throat breaking the silence. “I want to go to college with my sister and I want to be with you. I just don’t know how to make that possible.”

“Thank you for being honest,” I murmured feeling a small sense of relief.

“What about Stanford you applied?”

“When my Dad heard the news his exact words were, no way no how, when hell freezes over and my personal favorite when pigs fly,” I narrated for her.

“So he’s thinking about it?” She jested.

“More importantly we are thinking about it,” I turned in her arms and smiled at her. “I needed to know before we go to bed tonight that this isn’t a fling.”

My heart skipped a beat when she cupped my face in her hands. “This is not a fling.”

“I needed to know,” I smiled leaning closer so I could nuzzle my nose against hers. “Who knows? September is a long way off and if worse comes to worse a long distance relationship wouldn’t be the end of the world.” I could have just kicked myself for being all reasonable and understanding. I didn’t want her to go.

“No,” she scowled. “But shipping you off to a college filled with nothing but women? I’m so not doing cartwheels over that.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Yes,” she shook her head rapidly. “Man you should have seen the fit I threw when Laurie told me that she took you to the woods. I almost decked her. Speaking of which I have something to give you.”

“Hold on.” I chastised her when she tried to stand. “You haven’t kissed me all day and I find that a tad rude.”

“I am such a horrid hostess,” she gaped. “Let me make amends.”

She wrapped her arms around my waist; I laced my fingers in her long, blonde hair the kiss was soft and gentle. The scent of her perfume invaded my senses. I could feel her hands caressing my hips; her tongue flickered against my lips. She kissed me deeply, passionately and I kissed her with the same fire. I poured all my emotions, all my unspoken promises and, shedding my fears, silently telling her that I belonged to her and only her with that one kiss.

Her eyes were out of focus when the kiss finally ebbed. I smiled knowing that she was lightheaded. “I really do have something that I want to give you,” she choked.

“And I have something I really want to give to you.” I vowed my voice thick with desire.

Her head bobbed up and down she held up a finger silently informing that she needed to do this. I let her slip from my embrace and then waited patiently for her to return from the bedroom. “Here,” she squeaked handing me a tattered notebook.

“A notebook?” I questioned gazing up at her surprised to see concern in her eyes. “First flowers and now this.” I teased as I opened the book. I scrunched my brow scanning the lengthy list of names and numbers. It looked like some kind of bizarre score pad. When I saw my name I realized that it was a score pad. “She kept a score pad?” I stammered while wondering what kind of freaky person does that. “Thank you for the two hundred point deduction next to my name. Why are you giving this to me?”

“Two reasons,” she stated offering me her hand and helping me to my feet. “First Laurie is going to flip her lid when she finds out I stole it.”

“And the second reason?” I inquired scanning the pages. I was very miffed that the score pad ran for several pages.

“That is the most important reason,” she sternly began. “Game over. I’m not playing any more. The book is yours to do with as you wish. Burn it, print it in the newspaper or rip it to shreds I don’t care. It’s not really a grand gesture but it is heartfelt.”

“Thank you,” I nodded tossing the book aside. “I do find one thing about it intriguing. With all of the guys the first player is Laurie. With all of the girls the first player with the notable exception of Sandra Dee which has been crossed out and changed to Eleanore Roosevelt, is you.”

“That’s how it started,” Ginny shyly answered. “We were away at summer camp. Adults love to separate us. They would put us in different classes and activities. I don’t know if they thought it would broaden our horizons or they just want to make sure they know which one is which. My bunkmate Rhonda kissed me one night. I told Laurie. She was curious so we switched places. She kissed Rhonda and copped a feel. We just kept doing it after that. Until you.”

“So Laurie really isn’t attracted to girls at all. She just wants what you have?” I was trying to put the pieces together.

“I guess.”

“And you’re not attracted to boys at all are you?” I think at that moment I was really asking myself that question.

“No, I don’t want to shock you or anything Ellen, but I’m a lesbian,” she confessed with a curious glance. “I realized the truth a long time ago. I’ve told Laurie repeatedly. She doesn’t believe me.”

“Can you do one more thing for me?” I softly requested.

“Anything.”

“Can we not mention your sister or anyone else until Monday?” I pleaded.

“The only person I want to talk about for the next couple of days is you,” she smiled brightly.

“Teach me?” I requested with a hard swallow.

“We don’t have to,” she offered me an out.

“I want to,” I promised with a shaky breath. “I’m just afraid I’ll do something wrong or I won’t get it right.”

She clasped my hands and kissed me. “Trust me.” She said taking a step backward. I nodded my head accepting her offer. She held my hands caressing them while walking backward guiding me towards the bedroom stealing kisses along the way. I was shaking when we crossed the threshold the room illuminated by firelight. She undressed me her movements slow and gentle bestowing kisses as my clothing fell to the floor.

She helped me undress her. My excitement grew as little by little her glorious body was revealed to my eager gaze. She kissed me again and again lowering me onto the bed. I laced my fingers in her hair drawing her closer. I moaned when I felt her breasts brushing against mine. I released an even deeper moan when her erect nipples teased my naked body. She dragged her blunt nails down my flesh teasing me, encouraging me to touch her. My hands were still shaking when I cupped her breasts, caressed her thigh and cupped her firm backside.

I massaged her firm flesh while she promised to be gentle. I was ready I could feel her passion on my skin and my body ached for more. I rocked my body against her matching her slow agonizing pace. She kissed my neck teasing me unmercifully as her kisses drifted lower. We had done this before but never without our clothes on. She kissed the valley between my breasts; traced the swell of them before flickering her tongue against my nipple. My body arched when her fingers began teasing the other. She suckled me ever so slowly while rolling the other bud between her fingers.

It wasn’t the first time she had encouraged my passion to seep from my body. Still this was the first time I knew that she would quench my thirst. Every inch of my body was tingling. She kissed her way down my body exploring all of me. Teasing my stomach; kissing my hips, my thighs then parting my legs and nestling between them. She slowly traced the inside of my thighs and I was certain that I was going to die. Her breath caressed me. Blowing warmly against the thick patch of red hair causing my hips to jerk up. I could feel her cupping my backside bringing me even closer. She parted me with her fingers. I cried out in a voice I didn’t recognize when her tongue dipped inside my wetness.

Her tongue slowly glided along my slick folds before flickering against my aching clit. She stroked me slowly and tenderly driving me insane. Her tongue quickening coaxing my nub to harden until it was a throbbing bundle screaming for release. I tried to watch as she pleasured me burying her face deeper inside of me. I felt her lips and teeth teasing and suckling me. My head fell back, the world was spinning, I fought to keep my body idle.

I lost the battle as my body jerked and I was screaming out her name thrusting wildly against her touch. She suckled me harder and the world slipped away. I didn’t even realize that her fingers were inside of me until I felt the twinge of pain from her thrusting in and out of me. Yes it hurt but the feel of her making love to me overrode the pain. I know I blacked out. When I became somewhat aware of my surroundings she was still nestled between my thighs feasting upon me.

From everything I had heard from girls who had done the deed once the bell rang that was that. Thankfully Ginny didn’t play by the rules. I let her take me completely. Her fingers plunging deeper. I felt her teasing my backside painting the puckered opening before tenderly slipping inside. I screamed so loud my throat was raw every fiber of my being exploded. I clutched at the bedding; crying wildly my body erupted and I would have sworn that I had burst into flames.

Then and only then did she yield her touch. I collapsed a blanket of fog surrounding me. She asked if I was alright and if she had hurt me. I think I answered. I know I tried. I’m just not certain I had actually spoken. When I was finally capable of speaking I made one request. “Teach me.” And she did. I learned a valuable lesson that night; giving is just as much fun as receiving. I touched, kissed, tasted, fondled and devoured every inch of Ginny’s body until she was reduced to a quivering mass of jelly. I honestly believe that we would have kept going if our bodies hadn’t called a cease fire.

I slept in her arms that night and awoke in her tender embrace the following afternoon. We spent the entire weekend doing nothing but cuddling by the fire, eating only when absolutely necessary and making love. The latter proving to be the most important activity. For the rest of the weekend we were naked. We only put on clothing when it was time to go home.

Monday night I closed up the bookstore and raced over to Buddy’s. I couldn’t wait to see her. While I was working the rest of the gang had gone to see Around the World In 80 Days. I blew out a sigh of relief when I spotted her sitting with the whole gang with the exception of Laurie which was fine by me. “Hi.” I greeted gleefully greeted her as she patted the seat next to her in the booth.

“Hi yourself,” she answered in a dreamy tone. “Buy you a lime Rickey?”

“Sure,” I swooned.

She was just about to stand when three grim men in drab suits blocked our booth. “Virginia Swenson?” One of them sternly addressed her.

“Yes,” she gulped slipping her car keys to me.

“Come with us.” He demanded flashing his badge.

“Okay,” she choked out. “If anything happens just drive my car to your house,” she whispered to me.

“Ginny?” I stammered when she slipped past me.

“Hold on,” Ron barked. “You don’t have to just go with them.”

“Shut up,” the ring leader snarled before escorting Ginny out of the dinner.

We climbed up in the booth and watched the scene from the window. They were speaking and Ginny seemed to be answering. She shook her head no repeatedly while waving her arms. “No.” I cried out when she turned around and they slapped handcuffs on her wrists. I pounded on the window to no avail. They still placed her in the back of the squad car and sped off.

“Oh this is bogus,” Ron snapped. “We have to do something.”

“I have her car,” I volunteered. “Should we go to the station?”

“Which one?” Margie stammered. “They weren’t local yoyos. The squad car had a Boston PD logo on it.”

“Shit,” Ron fumed pounding his fist on the table.

“I’m sure it is just a misunderstanding,” Sandy volunteered just as the local cops walked into the joint.

“Curfew!” One of the little Nazi’s announced. “Anyone under age should go home. Now!”

Okay our town like most towns back then had a curfew which mostly applied to women, but the yahoo’s in our little corner of the world never enforced it. “I said now or we’ll haul you in.” They weren’t kidding it was either beat feet or spend the night in jail. We scattered. I was ready for fight so I dragged my feet.

“Ellen just go home,” Ron urged me. “Call Laurie she has to know what is going on.”

I think that was the day that both Ron and I changed our wide eyed view of the legal system. We thought that the police were there to protect us and that the laws existed for a reason. From that moment on we never looked at the world in the same way again.

On the drive home I felt like I was trapped in a bad horror movie. Every home along the tree lined streets was lit up, teenagers running through the streets or speeding in their cars hurrying to get home. It was a like a scene from the movie War Of The Worlds only this time people weren’t fleeing to escape space invaders it was our own local police. “What in blue blazes is happening,” Dad demanded when I rushed into our once happy home. “The phone won’t stop ringing kids are running through the streets. I haven’t seen this much chaos since the Japs bombed Pearl Harbor. Ellie is it true that those hapless idiots that we pay to carry badges are arresting you kids? Since when in the Hell do they give a rat’s ass about the curfew?”

I stood there helplessly rubbing my eyes fighting against the tears. I didn’t know what to say or do. It was crazy. One moment we were hanging out; my only thoughts were just how I am going to get her alone so I can kiss her. Then in the blink of an eye she was being carted off by the police. The only reasonable explanation was none of it was real. This was just a really bad dream.

“Sam,” Mom impatiently cut off Dad’s tirade. “Take a breath and give Ellie a chance to answer your questions.”

“I don’t know what happened,” I wailed finding myself cradled in my mother’s arms. “They arrested Ginny.”

“What!” Dad shouted. “This has gone too far. What do you pay taxes for? Are you sure it was Ginny and not the punk sister of hers?”

“Yeah Laurie wasn’t even there,” I sniffed still clinging to my mother. “The police just showed up and took her away.” In the back of my mind I began to wonder just where was Laurie. It wasn’t like her not to show up when there was a group outing. And if the cops were looking for Ginny wouldn’t they have checked her house first? Laurie had to have known something was up. She was somehow involved I just knew it.

“Calm down Princess,” Dad patted me on the shoulder. “I’m going to the station to straighten this out.”

“Wait Sam,” Mom calmly spoke. “Her parents probably already went to get her. More than likely she’s at home right now. Ellie why don’t you call the Swenson’s and find out?”

I nodded dutifully slumping towards the kitchen. I knew that the news wouldn’t be good. Rosa answered the phone in an unusually frazzled tone. “Rosa is Ginny there?” I tearfully pleaded.

“No Miss Ellen,” she answered in a hushed tone. “Miss Laurie is hiding in her room and Mr. And Mrs. Swenson are fighting in the den. They are with the lawyers. I can’t say anymore.”

“Wait,” I shouted before she could hang up. “Are they going to go get her?”

I could hear her gulping her voice was filled with tension when she uttered the words I knew were coming. “No. I’m sorry Miss Ellen.”

“Well?” Mom questioned when I finally dragged myself back into the living room.

“They aren’t going to go get her.” I felt numb still not really believing that any of this was happening.

“What?” Dad just about blew a gasket. “Well that settles it then. I’m going to go get her. And I’m going to kick Sheriff Rogers sorry butt. Running around locking up every kid in town what is wrong with that idiot?”

“She’s not here,” I somehow managed to utter before he could leave. “It was the cops from Boston.”

“Boston?” Mom was floored.

“Don’t worry,” Dad flatly reassured us. “If I can find my way around a beach in Normandy with bombs going off I can find one teenaged girl in Boston. I’ll find her, bail her out and then we will get this whole mess straightened out. Don’t worry Kitten I’ll take care of this.”

“I’m going with you,” Mom put her foot down. “Sam you are much too upset. With the state you are in you’d be lucky not to end up in jail yourself. Ellie try to calm down and keep an eye on Scooter I’m sure he’s awake with all this shouting. It will be okay Sweetheart.”

In the morning nothing was okay. The police arrested half the kids in town. Granted none of them were fingerprinted or charged and most were released to the custody of their parents before they saw the inside of a jail cell. The telephone wouldn’t stop ringing, the gossip mill was in full swing and Sammy was cranky because Mom and Dad were still missing.

I was wringing my hands pacing the floors and pleading for Sammy to just calm down. I blew out a huge sigh when my weary parents walked into the house. My heart shattered when I realized that Ginny wasn’t with them. “I’m sorry,” Mom was practically crying when she wrapped her arms around me. “We did everything we could. I’m not going to lie to you this situation is very bad. We did get to talk to her and her parent’s lawyers are helping her.”

“Those over paid bozos are screwing the kid!” Dad shouted stunning all of us.

“Sam.” She groaned with exasperation. “Now Ellie I need to ask you something and I need you to be completely honest with us.”

“Okay,” I gulped fearing the worst.

“Were you and Ginny in Vermont all weekend?” She slowly questioned.

“Yes.” I shouted my body surging with anger.

“I’m sorry, but Ellie we had to ask.” Mom apologized.

“We told those idiot cops that was where she was,” Dad continued his tirade.

“You did? Then she’s in the clear?” I beamed.

“No,” Mom’s shoulders slumped. “Both your father and I gave complete and thorough statements attesting to the fact that Ginny was out of state on Saturday and that other time.”

“What other time?” I was dying things were getting worse by the moment.

“A couple of weeks ago on a Sunday they claim Ginny was involved in a similar incident,” Dad quietly hedged.

“And we told them she was no where near the city that day,” Mom bellowed. “She was sitting at that very table with us eating my honey baked ham. She had seconds for pity sake.”

“Should I go to the police and give a statement?” I questioned hopefully. “I can prove we were in Vermont we got a speeding ticket on the way up to the cabin. It was right after we crossed the boarder. It has the date and time on it.”

“Perfect!” Dad proudly exclaimed. “That ought to get that snot nosed detective to shut up.”

“Hold on,” Mom cautioned patting my hand. “Ellie I over hear things now and then. Whose name is on the ticket?”

“Oh no.” I gaped clutching my heart. “Laurie’s name is on the ticket.”

“I was afraid of that,” Mom sniffed. “She stole Ginny’s ID again didn’t she?”

“Yes,” I nodded grimly. “At the time we thought it was funny. Kind of a payback for all the times she got Ginny in trouble for using her name.”

“I should have known Satan was behind this,” Dad hissed. “How could anyone think that a sweet girl like Ginny would be cruising around Scollay Square picking up a hooker? That girl wouldn’t do such a thing. Hells bells picking up a fifteen year old hooker it had to be the demon child.”

“What?” I was livid.

“Okay,” Mom tried to calm everyone down. “Sam I think Scooter has learned enough new words for today. I’m taking Ellie up to her room so we can have a long talk. Then in the morning I’ll take you to Boston so you can give the police your statement.”

“Can I see her?”

“I’m sorry Ellie,” Mom quivered. “The judge is very upset. She can’t have any visitors who are minors. Only persons over the age of twenty-one. He is being very, very stern with her.”

I blindly followed my mother to my bedroom. I felt like something inside of me had died. I sat down on the bed when Mom instructed me to do so. She sat beside me held me and after taking several deep breaths she began. “This is one conversation I never saw coming,” she slowly began. “I was prepared for the boy’s speech, the chat about your monthly visitor, the no smoking or drinking talk and, of course the sex talk. I just never imagined sitting you down and explaining that your best friend is probably going to reform school then prison because she has been charged with soliciting a prostitute, assault and battery, sodomy and a few others things that I just can’t bring myself to say.”

“Reform school and prison?” It was unbelievable.

“Apparently Ginny has a record for similar incidents,” Mom choked on the words. “Which were taken care of by her father tossing money at the situation. This is why Judge Warner is being very harsh on Ginny.”

“She didn’t do those things,” I argued.

“I know,” Mom placated me. “Honestly I’ve met twins before. I don’t doubt that they would give up their lives for the other. And I understand that even though they look alike they are completely different people. But never in all my years have I met a set of twins where one was a sweet girl like Ginny and the other should have a stake driven through her heart. Now having said that I still think it is best that you give your statement first thing in the morning. Maybe she’ll reconsider taking the plea bargain.”

“The Cold Fields Reformatory and prison are the bargain?”

“At her arraignment this morning the Judge made it clear that if she goes to trial and is convicted he’ll opt for the alternative,” she painstakingly explained.

“There’s an alternative which is worse than prison?” I was in shock.

“Danvers State.” Her voice was cold.

“What’s that? It sounds like a school,” I was lost.

“Danvers State Hospital, the insane asylum,” Mom woefully clarified. “She would be there for an indeterminate period of time.”

“What does that mean? And can he just say that? Hey if you lose I’m locking you up in the nut house?” I fumed.

“It means she has to stay until she is cured which could be forever,” Mom sneered. “And no he didn’t out and out say it but everyone knew what he meant. Even Scooter could have figured it out. If she accepts the agreement she will be in reform school until she is eighteen which will be only five months and if she doesn’t get into any trouble she’ll be released from the state prison just after her twentieth birthday.”

“This doesn’t make any sense Mom,” I struggled. “If she’s under twenty-one shouldn’t she stay at Cold Fields? It has to better than prison. And what happens if she gets into more trouble?”

“If she gets into trouble during her incarceration she’ll do at least five years. Mom hugged me once again. “The sentence will be two and a half to five years. Meaning if she behaves she gets out in two and half years. If not she does the full term. I don’t understand it either.”

“Why aren’t her lawyers trying to at least get her to remain at Cold Fields? Better still since she’s innocent how about having the case tossed out?” I was furious and based on the look on Mom’s face so was she.

“They are her father’s lawyers,” she explained and I could see it was painful for her. “If she goes on trial there will be a scandal. It seems her parents wish to avoid that. There is already a for sale sign up in front of their house. Ellie we are going to do everything we can. While you are giving your statement I’m going to try and talk some sense into Ginny.”

I spent another sleepless night before riding into the city with my Mom. Normally a trip into Boston was an adventure. This time it made me sick. True to her word Mom visited with Ginny while I gave my statement. The statement turned into an interrogation. After it was over I felt like I needed a shower. The three hours I spent repeating over and over again that Ginny was with me all weekend was a waste of time. Detective Jarworski was more interested in the exact nature of my relationship with, as he put it, the perpetrator.

I was never so happy to see my mother in all my life. “It was a waste of time,” I sighed noticing Rosa sitting next to her.

“That is what Rosa told me.” Mom nodded. “She came in for the same reason.”

“I told them,” Rosa huffed. “Miss Ginny was in Vermont. She told me that is where she was going and I saw her take the keys to the cabin. They said I was mad because they fired me.”

“They fired you?” I gaped.

“No I quit,” she spat out. “What they are doing makes me sick. It’s not the first time. I told them that too. Detective Dumb Ass threatened to deport me. I said to where? Dumb flatfoot says home. I said New Jersey? Idiot! What because my name is Sanchez I couldn’t have been born here? My grandmother was born here.”

“Still New Jersey now that’s harsh,” Mom quipped.

“I know,” Rosa nodded. “I’ve had enough of the snow and people like the high and mighty Swenson’s. I’m going to live with my sister in Boca.”

Mom and I just sat in the car for the longest time staring at the dashboard. “I’m sorry Ellie. While you were still with that detective Ginny was in court. She took the deal. I know this hurts. Ginny is your special friend.” It was the first time she ever used that particular expression. It wouldn’t be the last; it was the only time I didn’t understand what she meant by it. “She wanted you to have this,” Mom interrupted my sullen thoughts.

I stared at the slip of paper she handed to me. “Wait this the pink slip to her car?” I stammered. “I can’t accept this.”

“Normally I would agree with you.” Mom nodded.

“But both the cars were in Mr. Swenson’s name? Why would he agree to sign it over to me?” I babbled on.

“Oh he and his lawyers pitched a fit,” Mom laughed. “It was just before she went into court. I saw the whole thing. He wanted to sell the car. He already sold Laurie’s to some schmuck out of state. He would have sold Ginny’s too if he knew where it was. Ginny certainly got the brains in that family. Having you take the car last night was brilliant. You should have seen the look in that S.O.B’s eyes when she told him giving the car to you was the smart thing to do. He screamed at her until she said fine, don’t sign the paper but I’m pleading not guilty. I never saw a man sign a piece paper so fast in my life. Take the car Ellie you can keep it up for when she gets out. Your Dad will love working on it and you can use it for college. It’s what she wants.”

“How is she?” I begged.

“Broken,” Mom shook her head. “Knowing that you are standing by her is keeping her going. She said to tell you thank you, she understands that you can’t visit her. She’ll be thinking about you. Also that writing to one another might be hard since they will be monitoring her mail and sometimes things won’t get through. She said to tell you to look in the back of the notebook whatever that means. All she said was that it should help the two of you correspond without getting into trouble.”

“I still can’t believe that this is happening.”

When we got home I dug Laurie’s notebook out of the bag I still hadn’t unpacked. I flipped to the back staring at what seemed to be gibberish. “What is that?” Mom questioned peering over my shoulder. “Oh I see it’s a code.”

“Twin speak.” I blinked. There it was; written by a child’s hand was Laurie and Ginny’s secret language.

“I’ve heard of that,” Mom smiled. “When they are little it isn’t uncommon for twins to develop their own language. Good luck to the guards,” she laughed. “You could plan a prison break and they’d be thinking it’s a recipe for cookies. Now I want you to go take a long soak in the tub and go straight to bed.”

“It is two in the afternoon?” I squawked.

“And you haven’t slept since Sunday now go.”

I have to say that Christmas that year was the worst holiday I ever experienced. My girlfriend was in jail, most of my so called friends had forgotten my phone number and my kid brother was acting like the world was coming to an end. My parents did everything they could to cheer us up. I think we all lost it when Sammy wrote a letter to Santa. Initially Dad huffed thinking Sammy was a little too old to be still writing to old Saint Nick. Then we saw the letter. Sammy only asked for one thing. He wanted Ginny to come home. Even Dad got all misty eyed over that one.

I passed on joining in on the normal holiday hoopla, caroling, going to the annual Christmas pageant and, of course Sandy’s holiday bash. It didn’t feel right going without Ginny, not to mention I knew I wasn’t a welcome sight with the gang. The only shinning stars were Bobby and Sandy. Bobby popped into the bookstore smiling for the first time in months. It was still strange to see him hobbling around on crutches. I offered to assist him when he stumbled in.

“No,” he smiled again. “I’m just here to deliver a message.”

“Okay?” I laughed for the first time in ages. He was kind of amusing weaving like a drunken sailor and the Santa hat he was sporting just added to the merriment. He fumbled about a bit finally pulling a sprig of mistletoe from his pocket. My eyes widened with curiosity when he dangled it above his head. “All this for a kiss?”

“Ah not from me,” he tsked keeping the mistletoe in place. “I’m just the messenger.”

“Okay I give,” I shrugged thinking Ron or one of the other guys had put him up to it. I placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, I miss you and the food here sucks,” Bobby gleefully offered.

“Yeah right,” I stammered. “Fine who is my secret Santa?”

“Oh did I leave that part out?” He snickered.

“Uhm yeah.”

“I got my older brother to take me on a drive,” he casually threw out. “Then I borrowed his ID.”

“You met my Santa in a strip joint?” I was clueless.

“No,” he shushed me with a wicked gleam in his eyes. “I went to visit an old girlfriend of mine. Seems she’s a little tied up and can’t be home for the holidays.”

“You always were a class act Bobby Walford,” I gulped trying to get rid of the huge lump in my throat.

“Me?” He shrugged tucking the mistletoe back into his pocket. “I’m just a big dumb jock.”

“Stop that,” I scolded him. “You are the sweetest boy in town. And very understanding.” I added in a hushed tone wondering if the mistletoe was his idea or Ginny’s.

“Yeah well,” he tried to act tough. “Heard you passed on the holiday shenanigans. Me too. Well I’m off to spread more cheer; can’t have good mistletoe going to waste.”

“Merry Christmas Bobby,” I smiled. “And thank you.”

“Merry Christmas, Ellen,” he smiled once again before hobbling out of the store.

Later that evening Sandy called miffed that I had blown off her party. Well she pretended to be upset. She invited me over the following evening to just hang out and celebrate the holiday. I was going to decline. I really wasn’t in the mood for socializing. Mom insisted that I get out of the house. Apparently my moping around was bringing her down. At least that’s what she said. Early the following evening I drove over to Sandy’s house. It was the first time I took the Chevy out. It felt strange. I had driven once before on the night Ginny got arrested. That night I was flying on autopilot and didn’t stop to think about it.

The odd feeling grew when I pulled into the Hewitt’s driveway and climbed out of the car. I stood there for the longest time just staring at the dark empty house across the street. The For Sale sign covered with snow. It was so strange to see Ginny’s house all closed up. Knowing that her family was probably enjoying the holiday while she was locked up tore me up.

“Are you just gonna stand there freezing your ass off?” Sandy slurred from the doorway.

“She’s drunk?” I muttered shoving my hands in my pockets. I looked around for her parents after I greeted her in the foyer. Debbie the family maid was trying to drag Sandy off. “Geez Sandy it isn’t even seven o’clock and you’re toasted.”

“Bull shit,” Sandy grumbled.

“Sandy!” Debbie scowled.

“Mom,” a dark skinned woman interjected grabbing Sandy by the arm. “Ellen and I will take care of this. Why don’t you try and get some rest.”

“Hey Linda,” I greeted Debbie’s daughter taking Sandy’s other arm. I shivered when I caught the look of disdain in Debbie’s eyes. “Good news travels fast.” I groaned under my breath while assisting Linda with Sandy. “Where are her parents?” I growled after we tossed Sandy on her bed. Thankfully Sandy passed out before she hit the mattress.

“Away,” Linda shrugged. “Hawaii I think. You must have noticed they’re rarely around for the holidays.”

“I’ve noticed that they’re rarely ever around,” I grumbled as we made our way out of the room.

I always liked Linda; she was smart, funny and really nice. She hadn’t been around much the past couple of years because she was away at college. Up until that night she and her mom had always been super nice to me. Since she was being so nice to me, I could only assume that Linda hadn’t heard the gossip yet. I asked how school was going and if she was enjoying her holiday while she walked me to the door. “Everything is going well,” Linda readily answered. “Until I got home. I didn’t see you at the party I had to break up the other night.”

“Wasn’t in the mood,” I quickly dismissed her query while we stood out on the front porch.

“If I had to guess I’d say you look like a girl who just got her heart broken,” Linda tenderly stated. “Nice ride.” She noted when she spotted the Chevy.

“It belongs to a friend,” I sadly responded.

“You got to keep the car? That must have been an interesting break up,” Linda quickly theorized.

“It wasn’t a break up per say,” I hedged. “I’m sure your mother will fill you in. You catch on quick. You’re going to make a great shrink.”

“I’ve got years ahead of me,” she laughed lightly. “And it wasn’t my psych classes that told me you were hurting. Don’t need those to spot a teenaged girl nursing a broken heart.”

“Any chance you can turn that keen instinct towards the Hewitt’s?” I quickly changed the subject. “Who ditches their kid on Christmas?”

“They do,” she shrugged. “Been doing it for years. I could say that they are the product of their own upbringing. Children are nothing more than heirs to the family fortune. Or it could be if they stay away they won’t have to deal with Sandy’s antics. Which of course are cries for attention. I just hope Sandy will realize that her acting up has backfired on her before it is too late. It really is sad. When I was a little girl the Hewitt’s doted on me. They couldn’t wait to have children of their own. They wanted to fill the whole house. Something went wrong when Sandy was born. Now instead of treasuring the child God blessed them with, they resent her.”

“Wow tomorrow night is Christmas Eve and I think that is the first time all month I’ve heard anyone mentioning religion,” I sighed thoughtfully. “When did we forget what the season is all about?”

“I don’t know,” Linda mulled over my words. “When did you think you could out flank me? Now stop changing the subject. What happened?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” I finally huffed. I really wanted to tell her. It sucked the life out of me having to keep my feelings bottled up.

“Maybe I would.” She sagely countered.

I looked into her dark brown eyes and realized that she just might understand. I shivered when I spied the familiar look in her eyes. It had never occurred to me that Linda might bat from the same side of the plate that I did. Then again I was just beginning to understand what that meant. “You can trust me Ellen,” she encouraged.

“Thank you,” I nodded searching for my keys. “I … I haven’t caught up with things yet. I can’t talk about it. I want to but it just happened so fast. The ending. Not the beginning.”

“Did she freak?” She whispered respecting my privacy. “Or was there someone else?”

“No,” I almost laughed. “She’s in jail. How’s that for a new spin?”

“What?” Linda gaped at me. “Well that is a new one. Oh the girl across the street. Now I get it. You weren’t with her when,”

“No,” I cut her off suddenly sensing that we were being watched. My fears were confirmed when I spotted Debbie’s face peering at us from behind the drapes. “It’s complicated and your mother is watching.”

“So she is,” Linda grimaced. “If you need to talk, I’m home until the third.”

“Thank you,” I nodded once again. “It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I never would have suspected.”

“Well I’ve always known I was different,” she laughed. “It took me awhile to get that it wasn’t the color of my skin. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” I echoed before climbing back into the Chevy.

Our Christmas celebration that year was dismal. Sammy was mad at Santa for not coming through with his only wish. I moped around only emerging from my room to open presents and to ask my parents how their visit with Ginny went. I spent the rest of the year working and hiding in my room. On New Year’s Eve I went to bed before nine and said a silent prayer that 1957 would end on a happier note.

PART TWO

1957

This was the year that the Russians beat us in the space race with Sputnik, Perry Mason was on television, and alas so was Howdy Doody. That freaky little puppet had already been around for awhile; we were still dancing to Elvis along with Pat Boone and Ricky Nelson. The high point for me that year was when Joseph McCarthy’s red scare finally came to an end and I was accepted to Smith. Other than that my life was dismal and had been since the end of the following year. ‘56 had been the turning point in my life.

The first half of 1956 my life experiences were exactly what they had been for seventeen years. I was a good girl whose only bad habit was smoking; again, we all did it. I dated the right guys, never allowing them to get past second base. I swooned over the guys my friends swooned over. I got good grades, respected my parents and tortured my freaky kid brother. All in all I was a normal kid.

The second half of the year my world changed forever. I kissed a girl! Then I not only kissed her sister I went all the way with her. I had fallen in love for the first time in my life. I realized that all the times I acted gaga over some pretty boy in a movie magazine I had only acted that way because my friends had. The pictures that made my heart flutter weren’t those of Rock Hudson or Cary Grant. It was Jayne Mansfield and Elizabeth Taylor that made me tingle.

Before Ginny entered my life I was clueless. I had just discovered that I was different, and I was just beginning to accept that I always had been when the woman I was in love with was stolen from my life. It was a bleak Christmas that year with my sense of survival coming only from the scattered letters Ginny and I shared. The coming of the New Year was a grim event. Standing by Ginny made me an outcast. By the time we had returned to school that winter it was all over town that Ginny was a big homo.

It started on the very first day of classes. I arrived on time wearing the same winter jacket I had worn for years. It was my winter pep squad jacket complete with my letter and shinning pins for every team I cheered for. I had already noticed that no one greeted me in the hallways. Candy and Betsy passed by without so much as a second glance. They were cackling. “I can’t believe she has the nerve to wear her jacket.” Candy loudly announced for my benefit.

The stage had been set. I wandered the halls aimlessly drifting from one class to another. No longer welcome to claim my usual seating with the A list crowd. I was banished to the front of the classroom. Sitting in the front row with the nerds was a new experience for me. During lunch I didn’t bother trying to sit with the gang. I saw them shuffling chairs and books to ensure there wasn’t a space for me.

I stood holding the tray of glop the school system claimed was food. I was mortified knowing that I was unwelcome not only with my set but with everyone else as well. I spent twelve years cocooned in my little click. When you ignore everyone else for all those years and adding nasty rumors to the mix you don’t have a place to sit in the cafeteria. I was going to toss out my lunch and find somewhere to hide. Thankfully Bobby called me over. He may have fallen from the A list, but the guy was still dreamy. Naturally he found a place surrounded by a gaggle of girls who hung on his every word.

His face turned beet red when his new friends suddenly bolted when I went to sit down. “I should sit somewhere else,” I gulped. “Face it I’m bad news.”

“Bad news?” Bobby sneered at me. “Since when? I don’t see it. All I see is a friend who stood by me.”

“Room for two more?” Sandy announced approaching the table with Ron in tow.

“We seem to have some recent vacancies,” Bobby smiled brightly.

“Cool,” Ron tried to sound happy. “Cause the old table is a drag.”

“No way,” I shook my head ready to bolt. “I won’t bring you down with me.”

“Sit Dolly,” Sandy fussed placing her hand on my shoulder preventing me from standing. “So are you going to give us the straight skinny on what happened or should we believe the rumors? So far I’ve heard that Ginny molested a bunch of kids. She was working as a prostitute. She’s a dope fiend who got busted trying to sell reefer. And, my personal favorite, she’s a sick queer who was trolling the streets of Boston looking to rape some poor unsuspecting girl.”

“That’s what people have been saying?” I blanched feeling sick to my stomach.

“Those were the nicer things,” Ron grumbled. “Come on Ellen you and Ginny are tight. Tell us the truth.”

I blew out a terse breath knowing I couldn’t tell them the whole truth. Even if it wasn’t as bad as the rumors it still wouldn’t go over very well. “That weekend,” I choked out. “The cops claim Ginny was in Boston and picked up an under aged girl.”

“Ginny?” Sandy scoffed at the notion. “Yeah right.”

“She couldn’t have,” I quickly asserted. “We took off to go skiing that weekend. She was in Vermont with me the whole weekend.”

“Then why did they arrest her?” Ron shook his head.

“Because whoever was trolling around the city that night looked just like her,” I carefully began terrified that I would say the wrong thing. “And they were driving a brand new Chevy.”

“That evil skank,” Sandy bellowed shocking everyone in the lunchroom. “She framed her own sister?”

“Don’t surprise me,” Bobby rolled his eyes. “Well the girl part does. But knowing Laurie I could see her turning psycho. She clocked me one night when I suggested that maybe she had enough to drink.”

“I still don’t get it,” Ron grunted. “If you vouched for Ginny why is she in jail?”

“The cops didn’t care,” I growled fighting to keep my ire in check. “I told them, my parents told them, and even the Swenson’s maid told them that Ginny was out of town. They had already nailed her to the cross and they weren’t cutting her down.”

“Still doesn’t make any sense,” Sandy grumbled. “Hey wait. You guys planned a trip and didn’t invite me. Well now I’m hurt.”

“Sorry,” I sheepishly shrugged. “I missed the trip the weekend before. We wanted to go skiing not party.”

“Skiing on a ski trip?” Sandy shuddered. “Now that’s a novel concept. All that cold and snow. Yuck.”

“Now you know why we didn’t invite you,” I was trembling as I spilled out my lie.

I had hoped once I explained that Ginny was innocent word would spread and all would be forgiven. Instead the rumors got worse. The final version that floated around school was that Ginny was a pinko, queer, drug addict who pulled a bank heist. Everyday I was forced to defend Ginny’s honor. Very few people listened to me when I defended her. After all, unlike Laurie the social butterfly, Ginny hadn’t dated very much the semester before. Worse still she had broken up with the class hunk Bobbie Walford and, in everyone’s mind, that proved she had to be a sicko. No normal girl would have let him go. Well until he broke his leg.

It didn’t matter that I swore up and down that she was with me that weekend. In fact by saying that and still staying friends with her I pretty much damned myself. It didn’t help my case that everyone in town knew that Ginny had given me her car.

How could I defend myself against the hushed whispers that followed me everywhere? There was, after all, a kernel of truth to the rumors. I was like Ginny and, yes, there was something going on between us. It is amazing just how quickly the people you have known since you were in diapers together will drop out of your life once your reputation has been tainted. I could count on one hand the number of my so called friends who would bother to say hello to me in the school corridors. There was Sandy, Ron, Bobby and Margie. And Margie, my former best friend, would only dare speak to me if there was no one else around.

No one stopped by my house to study or hang out. If I walked into Buddy Burgers suddenly there wasn’t a space for me with the gang. I didn’t bother throwing a party when I turned eighteen. And it was made clear to me even though no one said anything directly to me, that I shouldn’t bother showing up at tryouts for the winter pep squad. I did the only thing I could do. I hung up my pom-poms, kept my head held high ignoring the snide comments that followed me everywhere, and studied my ass off. It is true what they say, living well is the best revenge.

Miss Piper did corner me the day after tryouts. She was furious that I hadn’t shown up. I gaped at her when she suggested that I tryout anyway. “Are you serious?” I practically shouted at her. I was mad as a wet hen my fury stemming from her misplaced anger. There she was mad at me for not joining the pep squad when she should have been angry with the rest of the squad for the way they were treating me.

“Ellen,” she continued to scold me. “I’ve lost four girls on the squad. First the twins because of this incident, then you and Sandy. She stormed out of the tryouts when she realized you weren’t coming. Now I can give you and Sandy a private tryout today.”

“No disrespect Miss Piper,” I was flabbergasted that all this woman seemed to care about was the pep squad. “Look around you.” I motioned to the empty locker room we were standing in. “All the girls bolted the moment I walked in. I felt like Moses parting the Red Sea.”

“The girls will just have to overcome their apprehension,” Miss Piper tried to encourage me.

“Apprehension?” I bitterly repeated. “Do you want to know what everybody was laughing about yesterday? When I got to school, I found a naked Ginny Doll taped to my locker with the word queer written on it in lipstick. I recognized the shade. It belonged to one of my former teammates. The only way I can get back into my so called friends good graces is if I stop defending Ginny which is never going to happen.”

“I understand that kids can be cruel sometimes,” she pathetically tried to comfort me.

“Cruel? They thought it was funny,” I cut her to the quick. “Ginny is my best friend. And she’s innocent. They don’t care. So forgive me for not wanting to spend my afternoons with these girls.”

“I thought Laurie was the one you’re close too? She was your point and the two of you hung out constantly,” she sputtered.

“No,” I huffed. “Ginny was my point. I know you assigned Laurie. They switched places. They did that a lot.”

She took a hard swallow. I could see that her hands were shaking. “Ellen,” she woefully began. “Perhaps you should just stop defending Ginny. You don’t want people to get the wrong idea. It would make things easier on you.”

When she finally met my hostile gaze I saw it in her eyes. For the second time in as many months I knew that she really understood my pain. “That would be the cowards way out,” I stood my ground. “Not my style.” I spat out knowing that I was insulting her. The pieces fell quickly into place. The spinster PE teacher who shared a small house with Miss Laurent. She knew what Ginny and I were doing that afternoon in the locker room. She let it slide because she was one of us.

“Ellen sometimes you have to go along to get along,” she tried to caution me.

“I can’t.” I sternly dismissed her advice. “That may work for some people but it isn’t who I am.”

She shrank back, stung by my words. She didn’t say anything else. She walked away with her shoulders slumped. Miss Piper rarely spoke to me after that day. When she did it was only related to her duties. Miss Laurent oddly enough smiled each time she saw me.

Just as I predicted the taunts and jeers followed me everywhere. I skipped lunch after that not wanting to drag the few friends I had left down with me. All my studying did pay off. My already good grades sky rocketed. I wasn’t the head of the class, but I did make the top ten. I was literally counting down the days until my life at Buchanan High would be nothing more than a dim memory.

I had pretty much written off going to the prom when out of the blue Ron suddenly showed up at my locker asking what color flowers he should buy me?

“For what?” I shook my head confused by the question and his boyish grin.

“The prom.” He flatly explained just as I was closing my locker noticing Sandy for the first time.

“The prom?” I stammered. “Very funny.”

“It could be if we spike the punch,” Sandy snickered. “So we’ll go out this week and pick out your dress?”

“My dress?” I gaped at her.

“For someone on the honor roll you can be a dimwit,” Ron sighed.

“You and Ron are doubling with me and Bobby.” Sandy expanded.

“You guys shouldn’t be seen talking to me,” I muttered wondering if Sandy had become the patron saint of lost causes. “Doubling for the prom would be suicide.”

“You are so dramatic,” Sandy droned. “Hey we could take the Cherry Mobile that ought to get them talking.”

“It is official the both of you have lost your minds,” I groaned. “I’ve been banished to loserville. I can’t go to the prom. Ron you should ask someone else.”

“Ellen did you ditch us that weekend to go skiing in Vermont with Ginny? The same weekend when she was supposedly out cruising for under aged hookers?” Sandy demanded.

“Yes.” I fumed not angry with her I was just tired of having to defend myself and Ginny.

“Then if that is what you said happened that is what happened,” she concluded.

“I buy it.” Ron shrugged in agreement.

“How does Bobby feel about this?”

“He’s cool with it,” Sandy reassured me. “He knows what it is like being dropped from the A list for no good reason. Plus there is no love lost between him and Laurie.”

“Actually what he said was Laurie was a psycho and Ginny got a bum rap,” Ron clarified.

“Pisses me off that Ginny gets sent up the river and Laurie just moves away,” Sandy spat out. “She’s waltzing around Largmount with a new boyfriend without a care in the world.”

“Largmount?” I was surprised. The Swenson’s had literally vanished over night. They cleared out and were long gone before Ginny had agreed to take the fall. Finding out that they had moved to a new swanky address just a few miles away really irked me. Mostly I was angry because I knew for a fact that none of them had bothered to contact Ginny. Not a phone call or letters; not even a card for Christmas or her birthday. Much to my surprise it was my parents who did those things.

“Yeah the folks dragged me to one of those god awful socials at the country club over there,” Sandy prattled. “And there they were the whole family. Laurie was preening about with the most eligible guy in town.”

“Figures.” I growled.

“You should have seen her face when I asked how Ginny was.” Sandy gloated.

“You didn’t?” My eyes widened with glee.

“Sure did right in front of all her new friends,” Sandy boldly smirked. “Funny they didn’t know Laurie had a sister. She, of course, claimed that I was unbalanced and making the whole thing up. She also claimed that she’s never seen me before in her life. Losers bought it. I should have smacked her. Dad dragged me away before I got the chance.”

“It makes me sick,” I confessed. “She’s off playing Belle of the ball and Ginny’s in prison. How can she just pretend that she doesn’t have a sister?”

“Like Bobby said she’s a psycho.” Ron confirmed.

Going to the prom and ruffling the feathers of a bunch of tight asses sounded like fun. There was a slight hitch. How could I go to the prom and enjoy myself while Ginny was in prison? It didn’t seem right. I felt that if I went I would somehow be betraying her. I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t like I could ask my Mom about it. Granted she and Dad were great about Ginny. Only they didn’t know the whole truth. Little things like Ginny’s prior offensives; granted it was Laurie who had been caught making out with a girl, but Ginny had committed the same offense. In fact she had committed the same offense with me more times than I could count.

What to do? The answer was simple. There was only one person I could ask if it would be a problem and that was Ginny. Big problem there, the only way to contact her was by writing to her. It could take over a month before I got a response. We were driving the folks at the prison crazy with the little code we used. They were catching on and now our correspondence was taking longer and longer to reach the other. I wish I could call her but since I was still a minor my calls were rejected even if I placed them at the correct day and time. The only solution I had come up with was burying my face in my pillow and trying to convince myself that it was just a bad dream.

“Ellie,” Mom called out popping her head into my room. “Ellie!” She repeated harshly when I refused to budge. I groaned finally extracting my face from the warm confines of my pillow. “Sandy is here. I understand that the two of you are going shopping. Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to the prom?”

“I don’t know if I’m going,” I whined. “What’s the point?”

“Eleanore Roosevelt Druette,” she scolded me. “You haven’t been out of this house since last winter. I think you should go.”

“Mom!” I wailed like a spoiled infant.

“Don’t Mom me,” she cut me to the quick. “If you don’t go then those knuckle heads win. Go and show them that you are better than them.”

“Work with me here,” Sandy demanded while sorting through the gowns. I just sat there moping. I knew I was going when Mom gave me that look. The one that clearly said that I wasn’t going to win the argument so I should just suck it up and get my butt in gear. “Well your mother was right. You are acting like a little Miss Gloomy Gus. I just love how corny she is.”

“Yeah she’s a cut up.” I snipped.

“We need something to show off your red hair,” Sandy prattled on completely ignoring my dismal state. “Is your Dad going to wax up the Cherry Mobile for us?”

“We’re not taking the car.” I flatly refused.

“Why not?” Sandy shrugged hurling a dress at me. “Try it on.”

“I don’t feel right taking Ginny’s car.” I huffed picking up the dress.

“If she can’t go then her car should,” Sandy reasoned.

“I just don’t feel good about it,” I argued while she pushed me towards the changing room. “We go out in her wheels while she’s probably spending the night hiding her cigarettes from her cellmate.”

“Ever wonder about the cars?” Sandy absently questioned. “Mr. Swenson had Laurie’s car sold and packed off to somewhere out state before Ginny was even fingerprinted. You’d almost think no one wanted anyone to be able to do a side by side comparison.”

“You think,” I snapped drawing the curtain shut. I shed my jeans and tried on the gown. I had to admit I looked good. Which only made me feel even guiltier.

“Why don’t you ask her?” Sandy shouted from the other side.

“Ask who what?” I asked still looking in the mirror wondering if I went to the prom did it make me a bad person.

“Ginny, ask her if it is okay to take the car?” Sandy chimed in. “Can’t you call her at the big house or send her a letter or something?”

“Her phone calls are restricted and by the time I get a response from my letter I’ll be in Northampton,” I snarled stepping out so Sandy could see the dress.

“Perfect.” She nodded. “We are going to look killer. Don’t worry about a thing I’ll figure out a way to get in touch with Ginny.”

I bought the dress and dismissed Sandy’s ludicrous idea. Granted Sandy could be very resourceful at times though I still doubted she could pull this one off. She proved me wrong. I was sitting in the library when she plopped down beside me and flipped an envelope on top of the book I was reading. “What’s this?” I questioned examining the sealed envelope.

“Don’t ask,” she hushed me. “Let’s just say I have friends in low places. Sadly this epistle is a one shot deal.”

“Very cryptic,” I smiled opening the letter. My jaw dropped when I saw the letter written in Ginny’s hand.

“I didn’t read it.” Sandy vowed moving away so I was afforded some privacy.

‘Dear Eleanore Roosevelt,

Imagine my surprise when the jailhouse pony express stopped by. I had hoped that it was news of you baking me a cake with a file in it. I was a little disappointed that you just needed advice about the prom. Since you’ve gone to so much trouble seeking out my words of wisdom here they are. Go to the prom. Have a good time. You need to go on with your life. It would break my heart if I kept you from living your life. As for the Chevy the car belongs to you to do with as you wish. Although I suspect that your Dad is enjoying it more than you are. Heck I’d love to see the look on everyone’s faces when the four of you pull up in the Cherry Mobile. I just ask one favor remember that I am the one who is locked up not you. If you don’t start enjoying life I’m promise that I am going to bust out of here and kick your butt. Have fun, do things you’ll live to regret and forget about me. I’m fine just another one thousand four hundred twenty eight days and I’ll be out on my own hopefully doing things that I will live to regret. Not that I’m counting or anything.’

Sincerely,

Virginia Woolf

“So?” Sandy demanded after watching me reading the short letter over and over again.

“We can take the car.” I dryly explained tucking the note into my purse. I wanted to add that I had also just been dumped. Ginny’s message was clear I had to go on with my life. Now how could I do that when the person I was in love with wasn’t in my life? Imagine that it took her telling me to move on for me to admit that I was in love with her. I was just a little hurt that she would try and be so noble. Although that was who she was. The following day I sent her a letter one which I didn’t bother encrypting. It was short and simple.

‘Dear Virginia Woolf,

My life is fine thank you. I will be waiting for you outside the gates in exactly one thousand four hundred twenty seven days so don’t be late.’

Best wishes,

Eleanore Roosevelt

You could have bowled over the entire senior class and our teachers with a feather on prom night. Not only did I have the bad manners to show up, but in the Cherry Mobile; it was just too much. Ron and I barely danced that night. I quickly grew weary of the dance floor clearing each time we went out on the floor. I had never heard so many snotty comments swirling around. People didn’t even bother to keep their voices down. They’d walk right by our table yakking about how they couldn’t believe I would have the nerve to attend my own prom. That and since Sandy had the bad manners to double with me that meant no one could go to her party that night.

“It is hard to believe,” I sighed leaning against Ron’s shoulder. “Last year at this time I was hanging out with these girls making plans for this very night. I guess it is safe to assume I won’t be prom queen or even in the court.”

“Bunch of BS anyways,” Bobby shouted loud enough for everyone to hear. “A few more months you will be leaving this jerkwater town behind. You’re off to Smith, Ron is off to Michigan State and Sandy is going to North Eastern.”

“What about you Bobby?” I stammered. I knew he lost out on LSU still there had to be a school waiting for him.

“Screwed my grades,” he shrugged. “I did get accepted somewhere. The letter said greetings.”

“You got drafted?” I gulped.

“Lucky me my leg didn’t heal in time to get me back on the field but I am a-okay for Uncle Sam,” he said with a half hearted smile. “I passed the physical last week. Ellen it’s okay really. Think about it. I do my time and then I can go to school on a GI bill. It won’t be that bad just under two years and we’re not at war.”

“Thank God for that.” Sandy cheered raising her glass of punch which was spiked with every liquor imaginable.

“I still don’t understand what happened last year,” Ron grimly began. “Bobby got hurt and things change. Then one night we’re hanging out yakking about some flick and the heat shows up. All of a sudden the whole town is divided. Ever since it went down I just can’t wait to blow this pop stand.”

“Amen to that.” I sighed in agreement.

That night we ended up back at Sandy’s house. Her parents once again nowhere in sight. We drank, danced and for some unknown reason I ended up making out with Ron. I stopped when the guilt of leading him on and betraying Ginny made me feel sick to my stomach. He seemed to understand and once he was capable he drove me home.

I graduated with honors and spent my summer working as many hours as I could at the bookstore building up money for school. Except for the occasional outing with Sandy, Ron and Bobby I never went out. The only real blow out we shared was Bobby’s goodbye party. Sandy didn’t bother inviting anyone beyond our little circle. The rest of the gang still avoided me like I was Typhoid Mary.

There was one afternoon Margie stopped in the bookstore. She wanted to buy a book that would help her plan her wedding. Margie had opted to pass on college to marry Mark. There were a lot of rumors floating around as to why they were in such a hurry.

I didn’t listen to the rumors having experienced first hand how twisted and distorted gossip can be. She was polite to me that day. I congratulated her. Even though we had been close since childhood I wasn’t surprised that I hadn’t been invited to be a member of the wedding party. She decided to leave when someone else entered the store. I knew she was afraid that someone would see her talking to me. Before she left she did pose an odd suggestion. Her exact words were, “Do you think that after everything that has happened attending an all girl’s college is a good idea?” I was too stunned to answer her. There was something about the seriousness and hint of disapproval in her voice that threw me off balance.

The summer had been bad enough with every letter Ginny sending me telling me to forget about her. There was also my constant questioning was it just Ginny or I did I really like girls? A difficult question to deal with especially after I had learned that everyone in town was asking the same question. Frankly I couldn’t wait to get out of town. If I was a lesbian you know what who cares? And if it was just Ginny then no matter what she said I was counting down the days until she was free.

When I began my academic career at Smith it was amazing. Finally I was surrounded by other women who wanted to learn, to expand their horizons beyond husband hunting and fitting in. I lucked out on the housing draw. Smith doesn’t have dorms. To promote a sense of community the students must live in houses. My house was Chapin. It was located in the middle of the campus. It over looked the gardens of the Lyman Plant House, the play fields and Paradise Pond. We called it living on the edge of paradise. Oh and how cool is it that the staircase was used by a famed alumnus for her book Gone With The Wind? At any given time Chapin housed between seventy and one hundred students from different classes and social backgrounds. I missed out getting placed in a single. My roommate, Connie, seemed to be pretty nifty though. A bit quirky at times, but I seemed to be drawn to that.

The faculty at Smith tried to eliminate cliques and pecking orders. It still happened only on a much smaller scale. Even though fitting in wasn’t all that important to me. It was great that for the first time in my life I began to form friendships with people I truly got along with instead of clinging to the world of cheerleading. Still it amazed me how many girls would suck up to me because of the car I was driving. I was honest, the car wasn’t mine. I was simply looking after it for a friend. When ever some girl got snotty about my not sharing my wheels, I would take great delight in explaining that the friend who owned the car was in prison. Now that was fun.

“You really have a friend in prison?” My roommate, Connie, questioned one night. She thought it was hysterical when I said it to Helen who was basically full of herself.

“Yes I do.” I blandly responded.

“That is so cool,” Connie gushed. “Wow. Who would have thought a straight arrow like you would know someone in the big house?”

“She’s my best friend and, trust me, it isn’t cool for her,” I curtly responded returning my attention to the lit paper I needed to finish.

“What’s she in for?” Connie pressed on apparently captivated by the subject.

“I’d rather not say.” I gulped knowing that if I explained the situation the next four years of my life would resemble my last semester in high school.

“That’s cool.” She nodded seemingly willing to drop the subject. “So why are you blowing off art class tomorrow?”

“I have to go into to Boston,” I hedged. “There is someone I need to talk to.”

“You’re just a regular Mata Hari aren’t you?” Connie beamed. “Fine, don’t tell me.”

I ignored her misuse of referring to me as a spy and pushed my work aside. The paper was finished I had only been pretending to work for the last few moments in an effort to avoid the conversation with Connie. “If you must know,” I grunted. “My friend was railroaded. She’s innocent. I’ve been collecting information since it happened and tomorrow I’m going to try to talk to one of the cops involved.”

My stomach was tied in knots when I entered the diner. I looked around trying to figure out which one was the one I was looking for. The tiny luncheonette was littered with cops. The desk sergeant was nice enough when I made the inquiry. He told me that Officer Doherty usually ate dinner here before starting his shift. Of course if the desk sergeant had known why I was seeking out this particular officer I doubt he would have given me the time of day.

“Officer Doherty?” I meekly inquired of the policeman who was sitting at the counter.

“Yes,” he responded with a warm smile. “Are you selling raffle tickets?”

“Uhm no Sir,” I stammered extracting my notebook and the file from my bag. “My name is Eleanore Druette.”

“Ah, a law student?” He smiled once again. “Have a seat young lady.”

“Actually I’m pre-law,” I confessed taking the stool beside him. “I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of questions.”

“Good for you getting a jump start,” he complimented me once again flashing a charming smile. There was something about this kindly older gentleman that reminded me of my grandfather. Again if he knew my real reasons for being there I doubt his charm would remain intact. “Now how can a tired old flatfoot such as me help you?”

“I need to ask you about a case you were involved with last December,” I gulped.

“December? Well I don’t know if I’ll remember it, but go ahead,” he encouraged.

“You approached a parked car in Scollay Square late one Saturday night,” I carefully began. “There were two women in the car.”

“Oh yeah, that one, I remember,” he grimaced. “Why do you want to know about this?”

“A friend of mine was involved,” I politely responded not missing the way his smile was vanishing. “I don’t mean to bother you, but could you tell me what happened?”

He thought about it for a moment before answering. “Okay,” he cleared his throat. “It was hard not to notice such a nice car parked on that particular side street. Normally a car parked in that area meant there was something illegal going on. I approached the car knocked on the window, and much to my surprise I discovered two females inside engaging in unnatural acts. I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“It is quite alright sir,” I pushed. “If you could just tell me everything?”

“Fine,” he sighed. “I shined my flashlight into the car took a good look at the driver. She couldn’t have been more than eighteen. I asked for her ID while I shined the light on the passenger. That is when I noticed that the lady’s date was bleeding. I made the mistake of moving to the passenger side of the car and requesting that the young lady step out. The driver sped off. Thankfully her companion had the good sense to snatch her purse.”

“That’s how you got her ID?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I also caught the tag number. I’m good with plates. I took the other suspect into custody and brought her to the hospital and that’s when I discovered she was only fifteen.”

“Did she look fifteen?” I questioned scribbling some notes.

“That one?” He almost laughed. “No she’d been trolling the back alleys far too long. I turned the information over to the detectives in vice and that was that. The car was registered to a Warren Swenson and we had his daughter’s ID. It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together. I’m sorry about your friend, but she got what she deserved.”

“If I could trouble you for just one more moment?” I asserted pulling out some pictures. I laid two down on the counter. “Which one of these girls was the one you saw that night?”

“What is this, a trick question?” He gaped at me looking at the snap shots. One was of Ginny the other was Laurie.

“Okay let’s try this,” I proceeded placing two more snap shots down on the counter. This time it was the matching Bel Airs.

“Fine I’ll play,” he nodded. “This one.” He stated selecting Laurie’s car.

“How can you be sure?” I pressed luck once again.

“The dent,” he confirmed. “I remember thinking now if someone could afford a car like that why would they be too cheap to fix the fender?”

He watched as I moved the pictures around matching Ginny’s photo with that of her car and doing the same with Laurie’s photo. “This is Virginia Swenson and that is the car she always drove,” I explained. “This is Laura Swenson and that is the car she always drove.”

“They could have switched cars,” he tried to argue while his eyes darted back and forth between the photos. “Twins? No the ID belonged to Virginia Swenson. The right girl is in jail.”

“The victim you took her to the hospital?” I continued not missing the way he was now glaring at me. “Based on your experience would you say that the person who assaulted her was right handed or left handed?”

“Right handed.” He boasted.

“Are you sure?” I drew him in.

“Positive if the person who smacked that kid around was a southpaw the bruises would have been on the other side of her body,” he proudly explained. “Is that it?”

“Almost,” I sighed putting away my belongings. “Virginia Swenson is left handed her identical twin, who I know for a fact liked to snatch her ID, is right handed. It is not uncommon for twins. Also the night in question Virginia Swenson was with me in Vermont. Are you still positive the right girl is in prison?”

“No,” he choked out. “You need to take this to the detective who handled the case or the DA.”

“I’ve tried. They’re not interested,” I pleaded with him. “Is there anyway you would consider writing down what you just told me?”

“I don’t know.” He hesitated informing me that kids aren’t the only ones afraid to rock the boat. “Miss Druette you are going to make one hell of a lawyer.” He added with a sad smile.

“Thank you for your time,” I conceded defeat scribbling my number on a napkin. “If you change your mind this is my address at Smith.” He wouldn’t touch the napkin when I slid it over to him.

I tucked my tail between my legs and drove back up to Northampton. During the drive I decided that I needed to find out how someone could get their hands on a police report. All the information had to be in there. A month later the answer would be delivered to me. “Hey I got this by mistake,” Helen Darcy barked at me tossing a large package at me. As snotty as the girl was I had to agree how hard it is not to confuse Helen Darcy with Ellen Druette. Yet the mailroom did it all the time.

“She is just so charming,” Connie snickered while I tore open the package thinking it was some more of my Mom’s homemade cookies. “What is it?” Connie asked when I released a gasp.

“A complete copy of the file, all the statements including mine and my parents and the photos of the victims,” I sputtered not bothering to expand on what I was blabbering about. “Eleanore, please do not tell anyone I sent you these copies. I’ve included a notarized statement asserting that I would be unable to testify in a court of law that the suspect I encountered on December 19th, 1956 was in fact Virginia Swenson and not her twin sister. I hope this helps. Sincerely, Sergeant Ryan Doherty thirteenth precinct Boston Police Department.” I read his note aloud.

“This is about your friend?” Connie eagerly clamored.

“Yeah now all I have to do is get someone to do something about this and she just might get out before hell freezes over.” I exclaimed feeling like I could conquer the world. A short time later I discovered something I hadn’t known about our judicial system. When you enter into a plea bargain you forfeit your right to appeal. That wasn’t going to stop me anymore than Ginny’s persistence that I move on with my life. I had come this far I wasn’t giving up.

“Oh for goodness sake can we just decide on a movie?” Blair, one of my housemates, bellowed. “Perry Mason is almost over and we’re still here.”

I threw up my hands in defeat. It was a rare night for some of us. We had caught up on our studies and decided to catch a flick. I even offered to drive. Anything to avoid hanging out in the common room all night. Trying to get five college girls to agree on anything was useless. “I still vote for Desk Set,” I repeated my suggestion for the third time.

“Peyton Place.” Blair whined. “And don’t lie I know you must have read the book. Plus Desk Set is only playing at Coolidge Corner. That’s all the way over in Brookline.”

“Fine, what about Myra’s suggestion?” I conceded. “Twelve Angry Men and, Connie, not a word. Face it you’re the only one who wants to see Jail House Rock.”

“It’s in walking distance,” Connie tried to argue.

“I have a car.” I gloated.

“Fine you spoil sport,” she sighed dramatically. “Then I have to go with Blair.”

“I guess it is up to you Evelyn,” Blair smirked. “We have two votes for Henry Fonda and two for Lana Turner. You’re the tie breaker.”

I blushed slightly when Blair mentioned Lana Turner. Suddenly I was reconsidering my vote. “Peyton Place.” Evelyn cast the deciding vote. We scurried to get ready and make it to the movie on time. It was alright but after reading the novel it left a little to be desired. I announced my disappointment when we returned.

“How did you get your hands on that book?” Evelyn enviously questioned.

“All through high school I worked in a bookstore,” I shrugged. “Mr. Dyer looked the other way anytime I wanted to purchase something risqué. My mom use to give me a list of books she wanted to read. She has a real thing for Henry Miller.”

“You have such a colorful past Ellen,” Helen piped in from her perch in front of the television. “Reading trashy books no small wonder you have a friend who is convict. You never said what she was in for?”

“No, I didn’t,” I cut her down to size. “If you must know her only defect is having a blind devotion for her sister.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Helen sneered.

“She’s innocent.” I fumed clenching my fists.

“Oh just drop it Helen,” Evelyn interjected. “Everyone knows Ellen’s best friend is in prison. Big whoop.”

That was it. No one cared. Not even Helen. She was just basically an unhappy person and wanted the rest of the world to share her misery. When no one did she just retreated into her own little world. I really felt bad for her most of the time. It was sad to watch someone so young wallowing in self pity. I never got the chance to find out just why she was so unhappy. Helen dropped out before the second semester began. Some of us asked what had happened. Mostly the other girls were more interested in who would get her room. Hey it was a single. Blair won the room.

I settled into my new life relishing each moment. Thrilled that I was finally being challenged to think and do for myself. The only dark spot was the one person I wanted to share the experience with wasn’t around. I kept in touch with Ginny despite her more than valiant efforts to curb my devotion. If there hadn’t been all the drama surrounding my last semester of high school and Ginny’s absence 1957 would have been one of the best years of my life.

PART THREE

1958

We were still dancing to Elvis and Ricky Nelson along with Fats Domino and the Big Bopper. The big change in my life was that I now slowed danced to Doris Day with girls at Mabel’s which pretended to be a little café, but everyone in town knew it was a gay girl bar. The hot movies to see were Vertigo and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I still had the hots for Elizabeth Taylor. I was happy at school, hated going home and I was beginning to wonder if my budding friendship with Connie might be a mistake.

That first year away from home was the best thing that ever happened, and the first summer I went home sucked the life out of me. I drove home full of life and bravado only to feel suffocated the moment I walked into my parent’s home. Even if my high school experience hadn’t ended the way it did I would have felt the same way. I was no longer a part of this world. After that summer I either stayed up in Northampton for summer classes or I opted to do a little traveling; anything to avoid going home.

During the early part of my sophomore year Ginny was becoming more and more persistent about my needing to get on with my life. There was a change in her tone. It was no longer self sacrificing. She began dropping not so subtle hints that she didn’t always sleep alone at night. It hurt at first, but it also helped me with a growing dilemma. Connie and I were becoming closer and closer. Things were happening between us our emotions growing in a direction that neither of us had planned. I think I started to realize that I felt more than friendship for Connie the night we went to see An Affair to Remember together. Hey it’s a four hankie movie how can you not get emotional? But there was Ginny and no matter how much I was hurting Connie I just couldn’t betray Ginny.

I resolved the problem the only way I could think of. I wrote to Ginny and told her everything. When Ginny wrote back she echoed what she had been trying to tell me all along. I needed to move on with my life. She practically demanded that I go out with Connie. This was made easier when she confessed that yes there had been others. Well she was in prison just what did I expect?

Now that all of the guilt barriers had been lifted there was no reason for me not to explore my feelings for Connie. My roommate and I embarked on a sweet romantic and very short lived journey. Funny thing was once all the angst of forbidden temptation vanished the passion we thought we felt quickly fizzled.

It was no small wonder that whenever Ginny’s name came up Connie went into a tizzy. I never stopped trying to help Ginny or writing to her. Just because we agreed that the romance was over didn’t mean I was ready to write her out of my life. My parents still wrote and visited her every chance they got. Dad went so far as to hang a picture of his kids in the barber shop. The picture was of all three of his kids, Sammy, Ginny and Me. No matter what did or did not happen between us romantically Ginny was a part of the family.

I could see Connie’s point. Ginny, after all, was my first girlfriend and the first woman I had been intimate with. Her being a little jealous was understandable. Still Ginny was locked up in a jail cell half way across the state. I couldn’t even see or speak to Ginny. What did Connie think was going to happen? Did she think that Ginny would bust out, and sweep me off my feet before we started our life on the run?

I hung in there and tried to balance my class load with Connie’s paranoia. I was working my butt off to do well in school. I didn’t need the drama of having to suddenly find a new roommate. Not to mention the talk it would cause. Even though special friendships happened now and then no one really talked about it. Still everyone knew which roommates really didn’t need that extra bed in the room. When the school year ended I didn’t want to go home and I didn’t want to spend the summer with Connie. So I did a little traveling before taking on a summer class and getting a job.

The break seemed to help the growing tension between us. When Connie returned in the fall things were better except instead of annoying one another we had somehow fallen into stagnation. I don’t know which was worse the semester before when her fear of my running off with Ginny overwhelmed us or the calm that bored us? It is never a good sign when you start making love out of habit instead of passion.

“I love it when it is like this,” I inhaled the crisp autumn air late one evening. Evelyn and I had been studying at the library and I wasn’t in a hurry to return to my room. “I could just stay out here all night.” I sighed happily.

“It is nice,” Evelyn nodded. “Can’t help wondering if your interest is in the stars or if you’re just avoiding spending time with your roomie.”

“Uhm,” I curled my lips knowing that as much as I trusted people I could never be certain how they would react if I told them the truth. Instead of answering I just kicked a few leaves about.

“Ellen?” She challenged with mischievous grin. “I thought things were better after taking a break over the summer. And before you start hemming and hawing. I’m not going to rat you out. I know some of our classmates would be troubled. I must confess a few years ago I would have been included in that group.”

“Yeah, so what changed?” I carefully tested the waters.

“My sister,” she smirked. “Turns out she butters her bread on the same side. I was shocked at first. But it didn’t change who she was. I still love her. So, back to Connie. Everything okay?”

“I don’t know,” I glumly confessed. “For months we drove ourselves crazy. Or rather I drove her crazy. Then when I finally gave in, it wasn’t all that. First she was all jealous over Ginny. I even had to take down that picture of my family just because Ginny was in it.”

“Well in her defense, I can understand her point,” Evelyn nudged me. “I’m sorry but your ex-girlfriend is very hot. And Connie is attractive but,”

“She’s very attractive,” I debated. “I don’t judge things on the physical level.”

“Are you sure you were a rah-rah?” Evelyn teased me.

“I’ve got the pom-poms to prove it, Baby,” I boldly reassured her. “I get Connie’s insecurity. That’s why I’ve done everything I could to reassure her. I took the picture down. I don’t bring Ginny up in conversation. I’ve been skating on thin ice ever since we started dating. What I won’t do is forget Ginny. I’m not going to stop writing to her or trying to help her just because things between us didn’t work out. I’m still her friend.”

“Good for you,” Evelyn complimented me. “Must make it hard though. If the two of you had just broken up that would be one thing.”

“I get it,” I sighed wearily. “Trust me I get it. Still the break over the summer helped. It’s just now; I don’t know how to explain it. There’s no spark. Maybe I just need to try harder.”

“How much harder?” Evelyn shook her head.

“Beats me.” I groused shaking my head. “Come on we should head back. So did you ever find out why Helen bailed?”

“No,” Evelyn scrunched up her face. “I can’t understand it. Ever since I was in junior high I’ve been working my butt off to get into one of the seven sisters. Smith wasn’t even my first choice. I wanted Bryn Mawr. Kind of worked out that I didn’t get in there. My sister did and we were determined to attend different colleges.”

“Why?”

“We’re twins,” she shrugged. “And sick of being lumped together.”

“My God they follow me everywhere,” I stammered.

“What?” Evelyn shook her head. “Didn’t I mention Erika is my twin?”

“No,” I cringed.

“And you have a problem with twins because?” She prompted seemingly a little disturbed by my attitude.

“I don’t,” I quickly asserted. “Well just one. Ginny’s sister. The one she took the fall for.”

“That hottie is a twin?” Evelyn gaped.

“Are you sure Erika’s the lesbian?” I teased her.

“Positive,” she laughed heartily. “I don’t like to see myself naked much less another girl.”

“Would you have done it?” I questioned seriously. “Gone to jail for Erika?”

“In a heartbeat,” she answered without question. “Then again she would have never allowed it to happen. I have two other sisters and I have to say I’d do anything to save them. Again, I seriously doubt they would have allowed me to make the sacrifice. Didn’t Ginny’s sister try and stop it from happening?”

“No,” I grumbled as we approached our house. “Laurie was the one who set her up. Now she pretends she never had a sister. She doesn’t even write to her.”

“That’s so twisted,” Evelyn cringed. “Like something out of Alfred Hitchcock. I thought Helen was a screwball.”

“No kidding,” I shook my head. “Bust your ass to get in here and then just drop out. Doesn’t make sense. I mean I was a little thrown when I got here. Suddenly I wasn’t one of the brightest. It’s hard to keep up. Frankly it is one of the things I love about college.”

“Where else did you apply?”

“Penn, Syracuse and Stanford,” I shrugged. “This was my first choice. I was a little miffed that Stanford didn’t accept me.”

“California would have been nice,” she theorized.

“I only applied because Ginny had applied there,” I confessed. “My parents made it painfully clear that attending college on the opposite of the country was out of the question. Doesn’t matter they didn’t accept me and my reason for wanting to go there ended up in prison. So are you and Erika identical twins?”

“Yes.” She drew out.

“Ever trade places?” I questioned as we took a seat out on the front porch.

“All the time,” she laughed. “We use to drive our babysitters crazy.”

“Ever do it with a date?” I was truly curious about that one.

“A couple of times,” she frowned. “That wasn’t as much fun as tormenting the babysitter. What’s up you want me to fix you up with my sister? You’re too late she’s madly in love. Supposedly so are you.”

“Yeah,” I groaned. “What to do?”

“I’d say break it off,” she volunteered. “You don’t look happy. It’s not like you can’t meet someone else. I know that most of the girls here are straight still there is that percentage.”

“Oh trust me I’ve met a fair share of lasses around here that share my interest,” I confided resting my head in my hands. “It just doesn’t seem right. I made her wait. And now that I’ve finally made my choice I can’t just dump her.”

“Is she the one you really want?” Evelyn pushed.

“I don’t know,” I confessed with a halfhearted shrug. “Thanks for letting me bend your ear.”

“No sweat,” she patted me on the shoulder before we finally dragged ourselves inside.

The semester was great except for my constant worrying that my girlfriend was going flake out at any given moment. One afternoon just before Christmas break she was in a tizzy. “Where have you been?” She demanded when I entered our room.

“Trying to get my copy of Breakfast At Tiffany’s back from Blair,” I calmly explained holding the book up for emphasis. “I hate loaning her things it takes forever to get them back. Why did I miss something?”

“No.” She blurted out a little too quickly.

“Okay,” I shook my head making my way over to my side of the room. I know it bugged Connie, but I needed to keep my space. Granted it was a small space but it was mine. Connie was spazzing about something and she was lying to me. I hated it. I just wanted her to say what was going on instead of making me guess. There was nothing I could do. I just had to wait until she poked and prodded before demanding an explanation. Ever since we became a couple Connie really did become less and less appealing.

“So have you thought about Christmas?” She threw out trying much too hard to sound casual.

“I told you that I’m going home,” I sighed sensing that my refusal to go home with her was just the tip of the iceberg. “I haven’t seen my family much.”

“You could have visited them anytime you wanted,” she fussed. “They don’t live that far away. And you do have that car.”

“Connie I’m not in the mood,” I tried to dissuade her. “I’m going to see my family for Christmas and that’s final. If you have a problem with that we can talk about it. But I’m not up for this game.”

“Game?” Connie fumed. “I only want to spend time with you over the holidays. I’m your girlfriend. Or are you still waiting for little Miss Perfect to get sprung?’

‘Round four hundred and fifty seven of the same fight,’ I silently groaned. “I’m here with you.” I stressed.

“And she’s up for parole in a few months,” Connie whined collapsing on her bed. “What are you going to do when she gets out?”

‘Finally!’ I silently screamed. Ginny’s coming up for parole in a few months and Connie’s worried. ‘I get it. What I don’t get is how Connie knows Ginny’s first parole hearing will happen sometime around next June? It isn’t like I’d bring it up in conversation.’ I blew out a terse breath deciding to deal with the matter at hand. I sat down beside her placing a comforting hand on her shoulder before I began. “If and when she gets out I’ll be her friend,” I surmised. It wasn’t the truth. I had no idea, what I was going to do when Ginny got out. “She knows about you. Hell she was the one who insisted that I go out with you in the first place.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Connie scowled. “You waited until she gave you permission. You have no idea how that makes me feel.”

“No, I don’t,” I readily admitted hoping that she would just tell me how she felt. She didn’t; she just stomped out of the room. For a brief moment I felt a sense of relief. Maybe she’d just break up with me. Then I felt the familiar stirrings of guilt. The same feelings I felt back in high school when I needed an out with some guy. She came back several hours later pretending nothing that had happened. She never brought up our holiday plans again. Foolishly I let it slide. I went home for Christmas, had a great time with my family. The only curious thing was apparently Ginny had been writing to me only I hadn’t received any letters from her since October. I wrote it off assuming that the prison staff hadn’t released her letters. It happened from time to time. All the while I had a sinking feeling that when I got back to school it might be in my best interest to pick up my own mail.

Honestly my introduction to the world of lesbian dating had been unique to say the least. My first girlfriend loved me enough to let me go. My second girlfriend was smothering me with her love. I was curious to say the least to see what the future held.

PART FOUR

1959

This was the year Fidel Castro became the Prime Minster of Cuba and my father saw it as the end of civilization. Of course this was the same man who believed the government pamphlet that said we could survive a nuclear attack by hiding under a table. The upside was Xerox had introduced the first paper copier. Truly a life saver for a young college student. Only trouble was finding one. Alaska and Hawaii became States and I was excelling in my classes. And February 3rd would later be known as the day the music died. The only other dark cloud looming over me was the dull lake Connie and I were still paddling down.

Connie was right I had no clue as to how she felt about things. I begged her to tell me. She thought I should be able to figure it out on my own. Then she just seemed to give up. We settled into a routine. It was weird, I no longer felt guilty. I just stayed with her. I think my guilty feelings dissipated when I returned to school in January. Ever since I started insisting on picking up my own mail, I got a lot more mail.

I never confronted Connie over it. Never flipped my wig. I didn’t want to know if she was bagging my mail. School was great even if I felt as if my romance had been produced by Xerox. Every romantic moment we shared was just a photocopy of the day before. Some small part of me hoped that it would change.

The really freaky thing was that before we started dating Connie was a blast and a half to hang out with. The second we slept together it was like someone flipped a switch and she was a whole new person. The person she became was a sneaky candy ass whiner. It drove me up the wall. Yes, I was still friends with my ex. Yes, what happened to her inspired me to try and get into law school but for the love of God, it wasn’t like Connie didn’t have a past. I made the mistake of mentioning that only once. She wigged out and I boogied out of the room so fast I left skid marks. I never brought up her ex or the fact that she had been cruising Mabel’s long before we ever hooked up.

“Hey Druette your major is Government isn’t it?” Tina, who was the newest member of our house, called out while I was hiding in the common room one night.

“Last time I checked.” I shrugged looking up from my book.

“That’s always surprised me,” Blair interrupted. “I would have guessed English by the way you just devour books. Speaking of which?”

“No, you can’t borrow anything.” I flatly refused tired of chasing the pesky brunette down for my stuff. “Tina you were saying?”

“I’ve been working on this paper and it just seems so far fetched,” she timidly began handing me the draft she had been toiling over.

“No, this looks good,” I complimented her after quickly scanning the paper.

“So, it’s true?” Tina gaped. “John Hancock was a rum runner?”

“Absolutely.” I confirmed still glancing at her paper.

“He was one of the founding fathers of our country!” Blair tried to argue appalled by the notion.

“It is why he became one of our founding fathers,” I laughed. “See you got it right here. The British were taxing him. He kept sneaking in wine and other spirits to avoid paying the tariff. Eight years before the revolution his sloop, the Liberty, was seized by customs officers. He didn’t want to pay the tax and became a revolutionary. You got it all in here. We fought the war because of taxes. After we won the country was in so much debt that our government started taxing things like alcohol which led to bootlegging.”

“So our country was founded on,” Tina almost laughed.

“Hooch.” I beamed brightly. My smile slipping when Connie entered the room. “Among other things.”

“I swear the more I learn the more disillusioned I become,” Blair shook her head. “But speaking of hooch.” She wiggled her brow. “Anyone interested in a night out tomorrow?”

“Uhm,” I hesitated casting a glance over at Connie. I hated that I just couldn’t say yes or no without checking with her first.

“We’re under aged,” Tina sputtered.

“Ah freshman,” Blair giggled. “It seems like only yesterday.”

“Or just last year.” I snickered. “There are places that we can go where they won’t care, Tina.”

“So, who’s up for a little road trip?” Blair encouraged.

“Sure,” Connie answered for the both of us.

I didn’t end up going out the following night. I had too much studying to do. The rest of the gang including Connie went out. I found it odd that I rarely studied in my room. The only time I had felt comfortable in my own room was when Connie wasn’t around. “This isn’t good.” I groaned after I finished my studies and climbed into bed.

I was still pulling my Nancy Drew act. I tracked down two women that I really needed to talk to. The first was an eighteen year old waif named Dotty Mazier. After seeing her mug shots and the photos from the hospital of the hard edged youngster I wasn’t prepared for the young woman who agreed to meet with me at the Blue Dinner in between her shifts. I was expecting the street thug I had seen in the grainy black and white photographs. Dotty’s age was the only thing I could give Laurie the slightest hint of slack for. At the time she didn’t look like she was a teenager. When I met her she still failed to reflect her youth. Still the edginess was vacant.

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” I offered sipping my coffee. It was evident that her years on the street were behind her. Still there was a hint of bitterness lingering around her. It had been an arduous task in tracking her down. I was more than a little surprised when I got a letter from her agreeing to meet with me.

“I have to be honest; when I got your letter I was ready to tell you to pound sand,” she coolly addressed me lighting up a cigarette. “So what are you studying? Trying to be one of those do gooders who try to keep kids from ending up like me? Cause if you are then God bless you.”

“No,” I confessed stirring my coffee. “I’m trying to help a friend.”

“God Bless you even more,” she took a long drag on her cigarette while I lit my own. “If I had one friend looking out for me then maybe I wouldn’t have ended up on the streets. How can I help you?”

“All I am asking for is that you be completely honest with me,” I carefully began. “I hate bringing this up.” I apologized since it was more than apparent that this woman was trying to get her life together. “Could you tell me what happened back in December of ‘56?”

“It was cold that winter,” she began seeming to drift away. “I hate the cold. I’m saving my tips so I can relocate to maybe Arizona or someplace like that. I had been on the streets for a few years living with my boyfriend. Or should I say the bum who said he loved me, while he kept me high and sent me out to earn his paycheck.”

I was shocked. In my little cloister I never imagined that a child so young could have been forced into such depravity. It was one of those times I realized I knew nothing about the real world.

“So Clyde, that was his name, sent me out even though it was colder than a witch’s tit cause he needed money,” she continued her voice devoid of emotion. “When that fancy car pulled up I thought I had scored and could call it an early night. When I saw that the John was a woman I was thrilled. I figured I could let her fondle me a little bit and then I’d rip her off. I was a little afraid she might be some holy roller who wanted to talk some sense into me. Like that would have worked.”

“But she wasn’t there to save you soul,” I grimly noted.

“Not this one,” she frowned. “She was a piece of work. She wanted the full cookie ride. Fine I needed the money. I already had my hands on her purse not that she noticed. That chick was a freak show. She didn’t want to make out or anything just gropes me then out of the blue she cold cocked me. She was pissed off at someone. Lucky me I got to be her substitute punching bag. I didn’t even fight back; it wasn’t like it was the first time. I was just worried that Clyde would be pissed cause my face had gotten messed up. In the back of my mind I thought good maybe I’d get a night off. She wailed on me like there was no tomorrow. I was hoping that there wouldn’t be. She started choking me and that’s when the cop showed up. I figured little Miss Butter won’t melt in my mouth could talk her way out of it. That’s when I tucked her purse under my arm and reached for the door. I could have made a quick get away but the cop was concerned and came over to check on me. She was out of there. That cop wasn’t half bad he even took me to the hospital; most would have just arrested me or kicked me to the curb. The judge sent me to Juvie. Met a nice lady there, Sister Steven, she was the one who helped me get my act together. That’s the whole story.”

“Thank you,” I nodded as I began to lay out my photos. “I just need to ask you a couple more questions then I’ll get out of your hair. Could you pick out which girl attacked you and which car she was driving?”

“The girl is the same in both pictures,” she shrugged before tapping her finger on the photo of Laurie’s car. “That’s the car. Saw the dent from my spot across the street. Kind of twisted but seeing a nice car like that messed up it kind of made me smile. I figured serves that freak right.”

“Just one more question,” I promised laying down a sizable tip. “The person who attacked you did you notice if they were right handed or left handed?”

“Right handed.” She instantly confirmed.

“Are you sure?”

“If someone wrapped their hand around your throat would you forget which hand they used?” She offered without a blink of an eye. “What gives? I mean so far I’ve just confirmed what that snot nosed Detective said happened. How is that gonna help anyone.”

“These two women are identical twins,” I explained holding up the pictures. “The one who went to prison for what happened to you is left handed.”

“Son of a bitch,” she snarled. “What can I do?”

“A signed statement, preferably notarized explaining everything you just said might help.” I pleaded.

“You got it just tell me where and when.”

When I got back to school Connie asked how it went which was a little odd. Whenever Ginny came up in conversation Connie was less than interested in the subject of my former flame. I told her and even she was amazed at how poorly Ginny’s case had been handled. My next step was to try and track down the other victim. It was hard. The report was sketchy as to how this woman and Laurie crossed paths.

When I finally tracked her down I was giddy. She was just a little older than me and a graduate student at Columbia. Connie was ticked off when I didn’t invite her along for the road trip. No matter how many times I explained to her it wasn’t a pleasure trip she just didn’t get it.

I contacted Miss Patty Markham and was relieved when she agreed to meet with me. I drove down to New York the following weekend. “Miss Markham.” I politely greeted her at the coffee house she had suggested.

“Patty.” She corrected me as I took my seat.

“Ellen,” I smiled in response while extracting my notes and photos. “Thank you for talking to me. I know this must be unnerving having all of this brought up now.”

“Don’t sweat it kid,” she reassured me with a warm smile. I paused thinking that this woman was positively enchanting. I shook my head reminding myself that I had a girlfriend. “So this is about what happened in ‘56? Talk about a nightmare.”

“Could you tell me what happened?” I encouraged.

“It was Thanksgiving break,” she began with a soft sigh again I reminded myself that I had a girlfriend. “I had enough of my family and snuck out to hit the Kit Kat in Boston.”

“The gay bar?” I choked before smiling.

“Does that shock you?” She teased me with a knowing grin. “I wouldn’t think that it would.”

“No it doesn’t,” I confirmed her suspicions. “You were saying?”

“Yeah the Kit Kat, great place,” she said. “Well I was there for about a half an hour when this total hottie comes in. She looked a little young, but still you never know. I had been watching her since she waltzed through the door. Then she sends me a drink. I thought I just found my ticket to heaven. She introduced herself we drank a little more and then she invited me for a drive. I knew what it meant. But hell where else could we go. We ended up parked in her Chevy down by the Charles. Everything was just dandy until … I never saw the slap coming. After that she just went wild. At first I thought she was a closet case who hated all of us because she couldn’t accept who she was. I thought she was going to kill me. For the first time in my life I was happy to see the cops pull up. Not that they were any help. They pulled their usual routine pulling us out of the car checking our ID’s, questioning us over and over again and writing down the plate number and our names. They didn’t care when I told them that she attacked me. They just told us to hit the bricks adding a few choice words about us before driving off leaving me alone with that psycho. I could still see their taillights when she demanded I get back into the car. I told her to fold it into three corners and shove it where the sun didn’t shine. I took off running; thankfully the hospital is just over the hill. The doctors called the cops. This Detective Jarworski shows up and treats me like a criminal. I felt like dirt. I took a taxi back to club, got my car and tried to pretend that it had never happened. A couple weeks later the same Detective shows up at my parent’s house. Suddenly he’s interested. I wasn’t. I just wanted to forget until he threatens to tell my parents what happened. He took me to the station and made me sign a statement. I kept waiting for him to show up again, but I never heard from him again. Until I got your letter. Kind of freaked me out.”

“I’m sorry that you went through that,” I choked out placing the pictures before her. “I just have a few more questions and then I’ll leave you alone. You said the girl introduced herself what was her name?”

“Virginia.” She sneered.

“Could you look at these photos and tell me which one of these girls was Virginia and which car you were in?”

“Are you telling me that there are two of them?” She shivered. “I can’t tell one from the other but the car I remember a big ass dent in the back.”

“One more question I promise,” I sighed wearily. “The woman who attacked you do you know if she was right handed or left handed?”

“Right handed,” she confirmed. “I’m left handed and I always notice which hand people use. Kind of hard to miss when it is slapping you in the face. Where is this going?”

“This is Virginia Swenson,” I explain holding up Ginny’s picture. “And like you she’s left handed. She was also my girlfriend and at the time you were attacked she was at my house after having Sunday dinner with my family.”

“What were her lawyer’s smoking?” Patty spat out.

During the winter of ‘59 right before Connie and I were ready to call it a day, I knew we had reached the end as one night we invited two friends from the poetry club back to our room. Blair and Tina were like minded souls. We opened a couple of bottles of cheap wine. When we emptied the first one I suggested a game of spin the bottle. Our guests were a little stunned, but since Connie didn’t object they went along with it. After our little party Connie and I realized that during the impromptu get together neither of us possessed a desire to touch the other, and it was the happiest we had been for almost a year. So after the mini-orgy we decided to stay friends, but we weren’t meant to be a couple.

We did end up becoming really good friends even after I met and hooked up with Carrie. Carrie and I lasted almost two years and discovered what it was like to be in a real relationship, and I discovered more about life in the gay bars. A wonderful world I never knew existed where I could go dancing with women and when single could meet women. I discovered dating and all the fun and pitfalls that went along with it. College not only provided me with the thirst for knowledge I had been seeking but also sated the long time craving to discover who I was.

During my four years at Smith never once did I sever my connection with Ginny. We stayed constant pen pals and dear friends through thick and thin. At times I think I got to know her better than I knew myself. She would always be special to me. The only time I got angry with her was when she got into trouble. It happened twice, once for having alcohol in her cell. I never found out what the second infraction was but it sealed Ginny’s fate. She was forced to serve the full five years.

PART FIVE

1960

This was the year that four black college students sat at a lunch counter in Woolworths in Greensboro. They were refused service but allowed to stay seated at the counter. A small yet inspirational victory. I experienced my own mini protest that year. Mine paled in comparison to that of those four brave souls still I had my own minor victory. For me it was when I stood up to my parents for the first time. Also it was the first time we crossed the line and actually talked about my love life. It started innocently enough. I had been dating Carrie for awhile and it only seemed right that she meet my family. I knew they loved Ginny like one of their own and even though they’d never say the words they were hoping that Ginny and I would work things out after she was released.

I didn’t have the heart to tell them it was Ginny who had ended things between us. I was still friends with her and I guess I part of me was hoping that maybe after she got out we could start again. It was hard for me to deal with. Carrie and I had been together for over a year and I still hadn’t completely given up on my ex-girlfriend.

Mom and Dad didn’t make it any easier each time they met or I told them about a new girl. They were polite still their disapproval rang through each and every time. I mistakenly thought that if they met Carrie, broke bread with her that perhaps they might change their tune. It was a really bad call.

Ellen, Mom cautiously approached me. I was furious. The trip home had been one disaster after another. It began when I asked if I could bring a friend home with me. Silly me I thought when Mom and Dad said it wasn’t a problem that it wouldn’t be a problem. Now when Sammy was rude to Carrie I wasn’t surprised. He was still a kid and still believed that Ginny could walk on water. My parents on the other hand had no excuse for their lack of manners.

I spent most of the day apologizing to Carrie. I kept explaining that yes my parents truly are warm and loving people. In fact so long as we don’t throw it up in their faces they don’t have a problem with our relationship. My mistake was assuming that just because they didn’t have a problem with Ginny meant they didn’t have a problem with my sexuality.

Carrie was hurt, but never said a word. Both she and I were on our best behavior, and to the outside observer we wouldn’t appear to be any more than close friends. We weren’t fooling my parents. I just never thought we had to. They knew about me. Hell everyone knew about me. So long as no one talked about it, no one seemed to care. I couldn’t wait for dinner to be over so we could get out of there. I was tired of my parents acting like Carrie wasn’t in the room. Before dinner was over Dad managed to punch my ticket one too many times.

Dad! I shouted throwing down my napkin startling everyone at the table.

I don’t care for that tone. He cautioned me.

Why would you bring that up? I harped not caring that I was defying him.

All I said was that Ginny didn’t look good the last time we visited her, he grumbled. You usually like to hear about our visits with her.

Just before I could blurt out, ‘not in front of my new girlfriend!’ Mom stepped in and pleaded for us to calm down.

I am calm. Dad fussed glaring at me.

Carrie wait for me in the car, I instructed swallowing my anger.

Okay. She whispered while bolting for the car.

Eleanore? Mom cut in as I stood. There is no need,

Oh come off it, I wailed. If it wasn’t okay you should have just said so.

Eleanore, Dad bellowed. We just want you to be happy.

By mentioning Ginny in front of Carrie? I fumbled. Tell me you didn’t know that was wrong? As for happy, I want to be happy. Next time you visit your adopted daughter ask her whose idea it was that I move on with my life? Trust me it wasn’t mine. Frankly I’m tired of her self scarifying holier than thou attitude.

Speaking of a holier than thou attitude, Mom calmly butted in. Young lady change that tone of voice. Eleanore I’m not disagreeing with what you are saying. But I will not put up with you speaking to us in this manner. Is that understood?

Sure. I groaned still seething.

Try again. Mom threatened.

I’m sorry, I bit back my anger. I didn’t mean to explode. But what you did today wasn’t cool.

Perhaps not, Mom conceded. You’re right we do think of Ginny as part of the family. And we’re not happy watching your new friends come and go. We can’t keep track anymore.

It’s time you got serious, Dad explained almost sounding repentant.

I am.

With? He motioned towards the window. I knew he was asking how I felt about Carrie.

No, I confessed feeling exposed.

And that is why we are worried, Mom blew out. What happens when Ginny comes home?

I have no idea. I wearily grumbled. If I did things would be a lot easier on all of us.

I couldn’t handle the conversation and I knew all too well that my parents were even less equipped to deal with the subject. The truth was if I knew Ginny would take me back I would wait for her. She was the one who made it painfully clear that she wasn’t waiting and for me to do so was a waste of time. I retreated simply saying goodnight to my parents and leaving with my girlfriend. To her credit the only thing Carrie said about the fiasco was, ‘That was interesting.’

Carrie and I lasted almost another year. It wasn’t meant to be. I was still haunted by Ginny. Who still insisted that I move on with my life. I just hated that she could be so reasonable and understanding. I wasn’t ready to start dating again. I wanted to be on my own for awhile and see what would happen. I had just survived my one and only normal relationship with a woman. After my first two girlfriends, Carrie was a breath of fresh air. Once again Ginny pushed and along came Martha. I still wonder if I would have given Martha the time of day if I hadn’t been so pissed off by Ginny’s noble insistence.

At midnight on March 23rd I snuck away from the party my friends had thrown for me. My hands were shaking as I dialed the number. The call was rejected. I could only assume it was because of the time of day. I did a little research and called at the appropriate time the following evening. My call once again was rejected. Wait, I pleaded with the matron who answered my call. I’m twenty-one. I protested.

Your name is on the restricted list. The woman curtly informed me before hanging up.

I had waited four long years just to hear Ginny’s voice and for some reason she was refusing to take my calls. I tried several more times. Not being one to just give in the next visitor’s day I drove to the prison. I was completely unprepared for what awaited me. I had to fill out endless forms, show my ID over and over again and then I was searched repeatedly. Each search proved to be more degrading than the last. Then just when I thought the wait was over and I was finally going to be able to see Ginny, I was turned away.

I kept trying. I called, I showed up on visitor’s day even arriving with my parents on a couple of occasions. Each time my calls were disconnected and I was turned away. Later my parents informed me that Ginny didn’t want me to see her in there. So be it. That wasn’t going to stop me from showing up on the day she was released. If she still didn’t want to see me then she’d have to tell me in person.

PART SIX

1961

The decade began with Bobby Lewis having us Tossin’ and Turning while the Shirelles had us questioning Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow. Ray Charles refused to perform a concert that was segregated. He was banned from the state of Georgia for life. JFK was President and we had no idea how much this decade would forever define us. I was beginning to understand myself. I was old enough to drink, vote and question authority. I was possessed with the same burning itch that was gnawing at most of my generation. The rose colored glasses had been lifted and we were seeing that the world we had been taught existed was a myth.

She’s purring like a kitten, Dad boasted wiping the grease from his hands. I’m going to take her for a little spin just to be sure. What is it you kids used to call that car back in high school? The Cherry Mobile? I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it means.

You can always hope. I smirked taking a sip from my Pepsi. It irked my Dad that I preferred Pepsi over Coke. The sixties were truly the beginning of the cola wars. During World War II, Coca Cola made a brilliant move by supplying their product to the troops. Earning them a generation of devoted consumers. Later Pepsi would turn their marketing towards the younger generation. It worked since the generation gap had already begun. Later when Coke tried to win over the large group of consumers it had lost, with I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke catchy jingle aside it was too little too late. The battle of the soft drinks was just one more chink that was dividing our worlds.

All that money for you to come home a Magna Cum Laude smart mouth, he sighed wagging his finger at me.

Yeah I started that in college, I laughed. So did the Chevy really need a tune up or did you just want to drive her?

She needs to be in tip top shape just a couple more days and I won’t get a chance to drive her anymore, Dad proudly stated.

Three more days and she’ll be free, I shook my head. I was still a little miffed that Ginny had gotten into trouble a couple of times and had more time added onto her sentence. I was ticked that she refused to see me or take my phone calls. I can’t believe it. And I can’t thank you and Mom enough for visiting her every birthday, every other week and every holiday. It meant a lot to me.

Ginny didn’t deserve what happened to her. He answered dryly. And you didn’t deserve the crap your so called friends pulled for sticking by her. Now don’t say anything. We noticed how the girls stopped coming around. And for the first time since junior high you weren’t on the cheering squad for the winter sports team. And I heard about how you reamed that pimple faced little snot who ran the yearbook committee when he tried not to put any pictures of Ginny in the yearbook.

And I heard about the new one you ripped Principal Jergins for expelling her after she was arrested, I beamed. Funny how she ended up with a diploma from Buchanan High instead of a GED from Cold Fields. Now how did that happen?

Ginny already had enough credits to graduate before she was arrested I simply pointed that out to Mr. Jergins, he shrugged.

While threatening to shove your foot up his ass? I questioned with a knowing smirk.

That may have entered the conversation, he shrugged once again. Now let me get back to singing your praises.

Please stop.

Ellie with all the back biting, gossiping and mud slinging that went on you would have thought Ginny had kidnapped the Lindberg baby, he continued despite my pleas. But you never wavered; you stuck by her letting everyone know that she was innocent. You went on graduating from college at the top of your class and now, he was gushing at this point.

When’s Mom coming home?

Let me say it? He gloated. Now my little girl is going to Harvard Law.

Again, Mom home when? I pleaded.

Soon, he grunted. She’s showing a house.

I can’t believe Mom got her real estate license. I shook my head.

She’s great at it, Dad boasted while fumbling with the keys to the Chevy. I was going to miss that car. With all the extra dough she’s making after we boot Sam off to college I can probably sell the shop and retire.

And I thought you were just happy that the kid’s voice finally changed. I laughed.

Want to come? I nodded towards the car.

No thanks I get to drive it all the time and I have the last trip to Framingham so enjoy, but I will help you wash her tomorrow. I said.

It’s a deal.

I just finished cooking dinner for the family when my mother came home. I cooked. I said which earned me a hug.

Thank you. Mom sighed with relief.

Sell the house?

Yes I did, she beamed. Where’s your father? She questioned inspecting the meal I had prepared.

Off in the Chevy. I smiled.

Ginny is going to bust a gut when you pick her up in that car, Mom hummed.

I should have been pushier about seeing her, I mumbled under my breath. After I turned twenty-one I should have done something. Maybe if I tried harder or reamed her in a letter then maybe she would have given in.

You had school to worry about, Mom scolded me. Ellie she didn’t want you to see her in that place. She’s changed a lot.

So have I, I reasoned running my fingers through my now short hair which had darkened over the past couple of years. How is she going to feel when I just show up when she gets sprung?

She’ll be thrilled, Mom reassured me. Just remember no stopping for burgers. I’m cooking a huge dinner.

I’m a vegetarian, I reminded her.

How could I forget? She grumbled. Speaking of friends. I rolled my neck knowing that whenever Mom stressed the word friend I knew where the conversation was heading. I couldn’t help noticing your friend Martha hasn’t called or visited since you came home. She didn’t go with you to Europe either.

No she didn’t, I clenched my jaw. We had a parting of the ways. Which was code for we had a big fight and broke up just before finals. Hell I was pre law and she majored in Sociology and getting high. It was never going to work out. This was the point in the conversation where I was always left wondering just how far Mom was going to take our little chat.

Oh that’s a shame. She pretended to sympathize.

Right, I huffed. You never liked her.

Now that’s not true, Mom lied like a rug. Just because whenever she came over for dinner she accused me of slaughtering innocent animals what’s not to like? At least your friend Carrie had manners. Sending you to an all girls college now that was just a brilliant idea. She added under her breath.

I thought so. I whispered in response. I snickered when Mom glared at me.

So, she continued pretending nothing had happened. This falling out with the tree hugger is that why you rented a studio instead of that much bigger and nicer apartment?

Yes.

Ellie you could just save your money, she began in full force.

No, I emphatically refused. I’m not living here. Mom the few times I have come home during vacations we end up arguing. I love you and I want keep on loving you instead of looking for places to hide your body. Plus I will need peace and quiet to study. The studio is in an okay neighborhood.

It’s in downtown hell.

A short subway ride from school, I persisted. Near the public library.

It is not near the library, she fussed. And living by yourself? You should just hang a sign in the filthy window announcing to every pot head in the neighborhood that you’re single woman living alone.

Where do you come up with this stuff? I gaped at her.

If you must live in the city, she scowled. There’s always the dorm. Or better still a roommate might not be a bad idea. In fact you are picking up the perfect solution in a couple of days. Ginny is going to need to get back on her feet.

I stood there slacked jaw. Was it possible my mother was trying to fix me up? Uhm Mom, I tentatively began. I’m not entirely certain that Ginny is going to feel comfortable coming here for dinner and you want me to ask her to move in with me?

It was just a thought.

Ginny means a lot to me. She always has. But the only contact we’ve had since the winter of ‘56 was writing to each other, I tried to reason. I was already nervous about seeing her again but having Mom trying to get us to shack up was freaking me out.

What about the dorms? Mom changed the subject much to my relief.

No thanks, I waved off her suggestion. I’ve had enough of communal living.

I stood there leaning against her car; checking my watch before, once again, glancing up at the huge stone walls, strings of barb wire and metal gates. I had checked and rechecked all the information. I knew the time and the correct gate she would be departing from. A loud hum filled the air the large gates rattling open. A group of scruffy looking women shuffled out. I held my breath trying to find her in the crowd.

My heart stopped when I saw her. She looked taller and far too skinny. Her long blonde hair which I had almost always seen pulled back in a ponytail was hanging down past her shoulders with little braids in it. She was wearing a baggy sweatshirt and tattered jeans that didn’t fit her. She looked so sad standing there holding a paper sack looking towards the bus stop. She shuffled towards it. I was just about to call out when suddenly she stopped and turned. It felt like she was looking through me as she mouthed the word ‘Wow’ then she smiled still not moving just standing there grinning.

Want a ride? I called out toying with her. I was startled when several other women started heading towards me exclaiming that I could take them anywhere.

Back off! Ginny bellowed scaring my new fans away. Just so you know that’s not the best thing to shout at a bunch of women who just got out of the pokey. She snickered approaching me.

Good to know. I smiled and tilted my shades so I could get a better look at her. She had changed. There was a sadness looming over her but I had to admit she still made my pulse race.

Where to? She eagerly bounced on her heels.

That is entirely up to you, I explained handing her the keys while taking the bag from her hands. It’s your car. I’ll just take your luggage.

I can’t, she frowned handing the keys back to me. I don’t have a driver’s license. I’m not sure when I’ll be eligible to get one since I’m a felon.

I didn’t even think of that, I apologized placing her sack in the backseat. Well I guess I’m your chauffer then, I explained walking her to the other side of the car and opening the door for her. Where to Ma’am? I asked after settling myself behind the wheel.

Back to 1956 so I can tar and feather my sister, she scowled.

Well Dad has kept this car in great shape for you, I responded. Still I doubt she can handle that. As much as it would please me. What’s your second choice?

You look great, she smiled.

Thank you, I blushed.

Your hair is so short.

Oh that yeah I hacked it off a couple of years ago, I sputtered my blush deepening. Now where to milady?

Food? She shyly requested. Real food.

Mom’s already cooking up a storm, I answered suddenly realizing that she was asking permission. I needed to tread lightly and stop forgetting things like Ginny hadn’t been afforded the privilege of making any decisions for almost five years. Ginny I’m serious wherever you want to go and whatever you want to do we’ll do it. Just tell me and I’ll take you anywhere.

I don’t know, she confessed looking like a lost little girl. Uhm you said your Mom is cooking so why don’t we head in that direction?

Okay, I nodded patting her knee jerking my hand back when I felt her muscles tighten.

Ellen it’s okay, she mumbled putting my hand back on her knee. It’s just I’ve been through some things you know?

Yeah I know, I answered softly. You told me in some of your letters.

Can we go? She requested with a hard swallow.

Onward and upward, I promised. And if you want to stop along the way just shout out. Like I said whatever you want to do I’m at your service. I proclaimed putting the car in gear.

This feels so freaking good! She shouted two hours later leaning her head back. I was glad I had put the top down so she could just lean back and let the wind catch her hair. Riding with the top down in the Cherry Mobile, you by my side and the wind in my air. You have no idea how many times I dreamt about doing just this. Look the woods! She squealed as we neared our old make out spot.

Wanna stop? I coyly suggested.

What about Martha?

Oh her, I laughed turning into the deserted park. Remember in your last letter you said I didn’t sound happy? I asked slowing the car down to a crawl. I wasn’t. We broke up. I concluded pulling into our old spot by the lake. What about Lila? I asked killing the engine.

She’s still in, Ginny smiled slipping her arm up along the back of the seat. We weren’t in love or anything. It was convenient. I can’t believe how casual you are. Just pulling into the woods like it’s no big deal to go parking in the middle of the day.

Ginny the last time we were in this very spot, I boldly began. I was shy, innocent, a teenager and, oh yeah, a virgin. I’m not shy anymore, I’ve had a few birthdays and, thanks to a very special night in a little cabin in Vermont, I am no longer an innocent virgin. Now today is your day, we can just sit here and talk or go for a walk or,

She halted my words by pressing her fingers to my lips. Ellen I just got out of prison trust me having a chat isn’t topping the list, she shyly explained. I’m just not sure that we should. It might confuse things.

Or not, I argued scrunching my brow. Ginny we don’t have to. And it’s okay if we do. I promise not to read too much into it. Like I said I’m not a confused teenager anymore.

No you’re not, she sadly noted scooting a little closer. You’ve been out in the world dating and stuff.

Well so did you, I grimly noted.

Not as much as you might think, she stammered. It isn’t like the movies or those cheesy books. Most of the girls are straight and not interested in dabbling. Plus I wasn’t interested in a most of the girls I met.

So you misled me? I grimaced feeling a little foolish. All those letters you lied to me so I would start dating again?

Yes, she quietly confessed. I wasn’t a saint either. A girl gets lonely. I just exaggerated at times. I didn’t want you wasting your life.

Wasn’t your call to make, I tenderly informed her. Today is. This moment. We can talk, go for a walk or you can kiss me.

Just like that? She shook her head.

Yeah, just like that, I shrugged trying to make her feel comfortable. I was dying to kiss her again and I cared enough about her not to. No strings.

She was trembling as she reached for me. Her entire body quivered when she brushed her lips against mine. I could feel her hesitation so I let her lead guiding me to her slowly kissing me until I felt the shyness slipping away. I started caressing her. In some way I felt our roles had been reversed this time I guided her slowing the pace whenever I felt I might be overwhelming her. With the sun beating down on us we crawled into the backseat. I slowly undressed her kissing her newly exposed flesh before removing my clothing.

I hovered above her dragging my blunt nails along her flesh; teasing her nipples before I began kissing my way down her body. She whispered my name when I draped her legs over my shoulders. I drank in the musky aroma of her passion before burying my face between her thighs. I licked her slowly my body reeling from her taste. I teased her stroking her with an agonizing slowness until she guided me deeper inside her.

It felt so good feeling her passion spilling over me while she cried out my name. I fought to keep my emotions in check. I loved her so much the first time we made love. And I felt my heart swelling when she began touching me; loving me until I had nothing left to give. I cradled her in my arms both of us lying naked completely exposed in the backseat of her car. It would have been so easy to just go with my heart. So much had happened and so much was yet to happen. In many ways we were still growing up. Ginny had only been afforded the luxury of riding in a car and smelling the fresh air for less than half a day. For the moment I had to sit back and wait to see where the road would lead us.

If we don’t get moving soon Mom is going to call out the National Guard, I ruefully informed her. We got dressed and got back on the road. They want you to stay with them. I tossed out as we neared my old neighborhood. My parents they said that you could stay with them.

I guess I could, she furrowed her brow. I need a place to live. I have to find a job and so many things. God five years ago my life was set in stone. Now I don’t know which way to turn.

We’ll get through this, I promised as I pulled into the driveway.

You’re too skinny, Mom announced when she finally stopped hugging Ginny.

You say that every time you see me, Ginny blushed.

Ellie take Ginny’s stuff up to the guest room.

‘The guestroom well there’s one little hope that’s been dashed.’ I silently grumbled. Come on Ginny. I instructed taking her by the hand and guiding to the guestroom which was conveniently located on the opposite side of the house from my bedroom. Here you go, I announced after closing the door and handing her the sack. What is in there anyways?

My worldly possessions, she sighed. A couple of cards from your folks, some books, every letter you sent me and the clothes I was wearing the night I was arrested.

Oh my God there’s a poodle skirt and a tiny cashmere sweater in there? I gasped trying not to laugh.

And saddle shoes and bobby socks. She confirmed with a grimace. Man what were we thinking?

I don’t believe we were thinking. I laughed. I could take you shopping? I’m sticking around till the end of the week.

Oh?

I got an apartment in town, I explained. Someplace near school. You could crash there. It’s a bit small but you’d have a little more freedom. I didn’t miss the apprehensive look in her eyes. I’m not proposing just offering a place where you can crash. You know I understand it’s been a long time. We’ve changed. Things have changed. I just want you to know that you are welcome to stay with me. Just think about it. For now Mom has cooked enough food to feed a small world nation. We should get downstairs.

Wow! Ginny exclaimed looking at all the food.

Now there’s pot roast, turkey, roast beef, mashed potatoes, ribs and lots of vegetables for this one, she nudged me.

I don’t eat meat.

Why not? Ginny gaped at me.

The tree hugger, Dad grunted taking his place at the table. Let’s eat.

Mr. & Mrs. Druette I can’t thank you enough, not just for the food, but for everything, Ginny quietly offered.

Ginny you’re a part of this family; now sit before your food gets cold, Mom tenderly instructed her just as Sammy entered the room.

Sam? Ginny was flustered.

Hi Ginny, he squeaked his voice still struggling between a boy and a young adult.

Hey! I barked when I noticed where his beady little eyes were focused. He shrugged innocently as I took my seat knocking him away from snagging the seat next to Ginny.

Now why are you yelling at your brother? Mom fussed.

Because he’s a pervert. I growled.

Uhm, Sam she has a point, Ginny cringed slightly. At eight it was a little cute now that you’re a teenager it’s not so cute.

I’m sorry Ginny. He respectfully apologized.

What did he do? Dad began to question before clenching his jaw. Do it again and your grounded and we start calling you Scooter again.

I’m sorry, Sammy sheepishly repeated.

I think I could sleep for a week, Ginny yawned when I walked her to her room.

Then sleep for a week, I suggested.

Too much to do, she yawned. I have to start job hunting and if you don’t mind could you drive me over to Arlington? I’d like to visit Nat’s grave.

Just name the day, I quickly volunteered. Sandy wanted to get together. I told her I’d check with you.

Out with people? She shook her head in disbelief. I’m really free aren’t I?

Yes you are.

The following morning none of us realized that Ginny had gotten up at the crack of dawn. She got dressed and just sat on the edge of her bed waiting until I finally checked on her. It was a routine she would repeat every day. When I took her out to buy clothes we barely managed to purchase anything when she broke out into a cold sweat.

I have to warn you about Sandy, she’s been partying a lot, I explained on the drive over.

More than before?

Yeah after her Dad died suddenly her mother decided to come home and never leave the house, I related the strange turn of events. She’s been up Sandy’s butt nonstop and Sandy is thinking of ways to poison her.

I’m going out! We heard Sandy bellowing when we approached the front door. Ginny jumped back in fright when Sandy flung open the door.

Who with? We could hear her mother demanding from somewhere inside the expansive house.

A lesbian and a convict! Sandy gleefully blared. Maybe that’ll kill you. Meddling old bat. Don’t worry that won’t kill her. Last week I told her I’m dating a Negro and having his baby and she didn’t even break a sweat.

My God you weren’t kidding she is trying to kill her, Ginny sputtered.

No, Sandy waved off the notion. Just inching her closer to the grave. I thought she was horrible for never being around now I dream of those days. Come here Ginny girl. She demanded wrapping poor Ginny up in a hug. She politely stepped back when Ginny resisted. Sorry can’t be easy. She tenderly apologized. Fucking great you brought the Cherry Mobile!

Ginny insisted.

Lead on we need to party, Sandy demanded. You driving Ginny Girl?

Can’t.

Fuckers well Ellen I guess you can’t get tight tonight, Sandy laughed climbing into the car. This car is still the bomb.

It looks better than when I left, Ginny remarked slipping into the passenger seat.

Dad’s been lovingly taking care of it for you, I offered starting up the engine. Where to?

Just drive over the town line that’s where all the hip clubs are, Sandy instructed. Oh wait what about that place? You know the one you like Ellen? The gay bar?

Gay bar? Ginny stammered. Uhm, you know I’ve spent the last five years been groped by strange women. How about something a little more subdued?

That leaves out the stripper bar, Sandy sighed. Mac’s place; that’s quiet and the drinks are killer.

I don’t have an ID, Ginny sighed.

Not to worry Mac’s never cards, Sandy boasted. I started going there with Bobby right before he shipped out.

Bobby’s enlisted? Ginny fearfully questioned.

Drafted. I groaned.

Dumb ass keeps re-upping, Sandy groused.

The party was in full swing for Sandy at least. I could see how nervous Ginny was. You were right Sandy likes to party hard, Ginny commented as we sat at the bar watching our friend bounce from one guy to the next. And not just booze either. Speak of the devil. She snickered when Sandy plopped down beside her and wrapped her arm around Ginny’s shoulder.

What your sister is here? Sandy laughed. Hey why don’t we ditch this place and go to Belmont. Pay a little visit to the princess? Bet her uptight hubby would just love to hear all about how you took the fall for her.

She’s married? Ginny questioned almost seeming not to care. I heard she dropped out of Stanford.

Flunked out is more like it, Sandy blew out.

Probably math. I deduced.

She got married last year I think, Sandy tried to remember. Now she’s a young republican housewife with poofy hair.

It’s true you should see her hair it’s huge, I rolled my eyes.

Good for her. Ginny just shrugged it off.

You are a saint, Sandy boasted waving for the bartender. I swear the two of you are the only decent people left in this bunghole town. And this one is leaving.

So am I, Ginny offered with a lopsided grin. It isn’t personal Sandy, but since everyone in town is locking up their children every time I go out for a walk I think it is time to move on.

My heart sank. I knew that staying was driving her nuts, but I had hoped that she would accept my offer. For the second time in my life I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her. So where to? Sandy prodded.

For now I’m crashing at Ellen’s new pad. She shyly confessed.

The cracker box? Sandy gasped.

It is a studio. I quickly corrected.

Hey my last pad was a five by nine cell, Ginny laughed. Trust me a studio in the city will be like staying at the Ritz.

Now that’s what I’m talking about, Sandy prattled on. You don’t even care that Ellen’s gay.

Ginny choked on the glass of Tab she had been nursing while I simply blinked with surprise. It had never occurred to me that Sandy hadn’t figured things out after I came out to her a couple of years ago. Speaking of bad math, I slowly began. Uhm Sandy you didn’t know?

Know what? She asked.

You didn’t tell her? Ginny questioned me almost amused by the situation.

I thought she had figured it out, I confessed. I mean I assumed that when I told her about me that she’d put two and two together. Everyone else in town assumed it after you were sent away.

Hey I’m sitting right here! Sandy barked. Assumed what?

The trip to Vermont, Ginny tried to prod her. You know just me and Ellen alone together.

I assumed that you went skiing, Sandy sputtered with a slight blush. Ellen you said you went skiing. You’ve never lied to me before.

Oh yes I did, I laughed. Every Sunday.

Freaking A! Sandy screamed she paused to catch her breath. The two of you were dating back then? I had no idea. Oh that is so sweet you waited for her. Now you’re together again. It’s like a movie.

No it isn’t, Ginny quickly corrected. I’m crashing with Ellen until I can find a job. Neither of us really waited.

Suck the wind out of my joy, Sandy scoffed. Well I will just have to light a candle cause I’m not giving up on the two of you.

It was about three in the morning when we carried Sandy into her house and put her to bed before driving back to my parents. I thought you quit, I scolded my mother when we found her sneaking a smoke out on the front porch.

I thought you did too. She waved her hand.

I did. The bar was smoky, I sighed.

It’s true Mrs. Druette Eleanore didn’t smoke, Ginny confirmed.

How is Sandy? Passed out? Mom grunted.

Yeah, I confirmed taking a seat on the steps pleased when Ginny joined me.

I don’t know what it is with these kids, Mom groaned. All the gibber jabbering that has gone on in this town about the two of you and you’re the only ones worth a damn. That Margie for example. Like anyone believed she had gained a little weight just before the wedding. And the baby being premature, my ass.

Mom. I laughed.

What? She scoffed.

Don’t ever change.

That weekend we moved into my very small studio. Ginny was still stand-offish. We slept in the same bed. Actually it was a mattress I had put on the floor. We didn’t touch. I would awake every morning to find her neatly dressed sitting on the edge of the mattress. I knew I couldn’t push her. She needed to find her way. It tore me up that I couldn’t just say the right thing and make the pain go away. I had to sit back and let her readjust to the world.

I encouraged her to go out while I was in classes. Every day she went out pounding the pavement desperately seeking gainful employment. She couldn’t catch a break. Her record clung to her like an albatross. The first Sunday I blinked open my eyes. Once again I found her just sitting there waiting to be told it was alright for her to move. Ginny, I croaked out. I had been up all night studying. It is Sunday morning. I’m not getting up for at least a few more hours. If you want to go and do something do it. If you want to crawl back into bed you can.

Sorry, she mumbled shifting nervously. It’s weird. For five years I couldn’t go to the bathroom without asking for permission first.

If you have to do that, feel free, I smacked my lips. I’m tired and I’m going back to sleep. Acting like a slug on Sunday mornings is one of my favorite things in life. Have you ever tried it?

No, she sheepishly admitted.

Well would you like to? I encouraged pulling back the blankets.

She meekly nodded her head and stood. I sighed happily watching her undress. Should I turn around? I suddenly questioned fearful that I was invading her privacy.

I got something you haven’t seen before? She quipped with a rakish grin. For the briefest moment I caught a glimpse of the old Ginny. Then she quickly retreated. Shedding her clothing and climbing back under the covers.

I blew out a terse breath. Watching Ginny removing her clothing had been intriguing enough but having her lying completely naked just an arm’s length away was sheer torture. So what exactly does one do when they sleep in? She seriously questioned.

Uhm, I gulped feeling flustered. Well sleep is the first order of business. Then I get up shuffle to the kitchen and brew a big pot of coffee. Hopefully the Sunday paper has been delivered and not stolen. I go through the whole thing front to back. I could lie and say that I read all of the top news stories first. The truth is I read the funnies and do the crossword first and save the rest for later. Then if I feel up to it I go out for a walk, maybe do some shopping or catch a movie. It is all your fault really.

My fault? She shook her head.

Setting aside Sundays for self pleasure is something you brought into my world, I smiled boldly stealing a shy glimpse at her cleavage which was just peeking out from beneath the blankets. How would you like to spend your Sunday morning?

I don’t know, she glumly confessed picking at the blanket. She released an exasperated sigh before she began to pout.

I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t used to entertaining someone so early in the day. Even when I was involved I didn’t tend to entertain overnight guests. And when I did at seven something on a Sunday morning I’d still be sleeping. It was the one day of the week I dedicated to self indulgence. I’m going to sleep. I finally grumbled turning over fearful that I would give into the temptation lying beside me. I bit back a groan when my backside accidentally bumped into her naked form.

Ginny continued to fidget. She got up once or twice scanning my books looking for something to read. Nothing seemed to appeal to her and she climbed back into bed. She shifted, tossed and turned completely disrupting my attempt to go back to sleep. Yeah okay, I finally groused pulling back the blankets and glaring at her. What would you like to do? I demanded. My lungs seized; my body stunned when I found myself captured in a major lip lock.

Not that I’m complaining, I gulped snuggling closer to her while trying to catch my breath. The searing kiss had caught me off guard. Damn that girl still knew how to kiss me senseless.

You said I could do whatever I wanted, she glibly explained.

I gazed up at her and there it was again. The tone of her voice; the brilliant sparkle in her eyes. The girl I had fallen madly in love with was still in there.

It is a nifty way to wake up, I quickly asserted when the sparkle in her eyes began to dim. The old Ginny may still be in there, but she was lurking behind some very dark shadows. We could, I began hoping to encourage her. My words were cut off when she pressed her fingers against my trembling lips.

Ssh. I’m very scared, she confessed in just above a whisper. I don’t know who I am anymore. Five years ago I lost everything. My innocence or guilt doesn’t matter. I lost those years. I spent them simply existing not living, not feeling just functioning and nothing more. Now that I’m free I can’t shake the hollow feeling. I have no idea where I’m going. All I know is there has been only one constant since I walked out of prison. The desire to make love to you is the only thing I feel certain about. She concluded her fingers slipping from my lips.

Go with it, I almost pleaded.

She cupped my face in her hands. A ghost of a smile crossed her lips, alerting me that she was still frightened. Her kiss was soft and tender. I willingly allowed her to lead the dance. I fought against my carnal desire to be more aggressive fearing that I would scare her. She took things slowly kissing my cheeks, my eyes and my lips. Her kisses drifted to my chin. I shivered from the slow tender caressing. My head tilted back when her soft lips found their way to my neck.

I was struggling; fighting against the temptation to turn the tables and ravish her. During her absence I had been forever changed by my experiences. I was no longer swept away by a heated embrace. I discovered many delights and wished to share all of them with her. Still her quiet inquisitive touch ignited a fire deep inside of me. Ginny’s soft caresses made me feel more alive than any of my past torrid encounters. I expelled a calming breath allowing her to remove my nightshirt.

She lowered me down onto the mattress again her movements possessed a tender slowness. She pulled back the blankets revealing my half naked body. I licked my lips eager to feel her touch. She hovered above me dragging her blunt nails down along my exposed flesh. Her eyes were filled with wonderment as she watched her fingers tracing my skin. She was killing me. Just being around her for the past week had left me wanting and now she seemed determined to drag out my agony. It was such a delightful torture.

I had been on the verge of climaxing from her first kiss and now her fingers were tracing the elastic band of my panties. I squirmed beneath her unable to ebb my raging desire. My entire body was quivering. I reached out to touch her. She gently brushed my hands aside. I groaned with disappointment. Sorry, she murmured her eyes still riveted on her fingers. I just really need to take my time. You have no idea how many nights I dreamt about this moment.

You’re killing me, I squeaked out with a hard swallow. I released a sharp gasp when her fingers brushed against the thin cotton of my panties.

She simply sighed contently dipping her head. Her tongue slowly traced the swell of my breasts her nimble fingers brushing against my underwear taunting me. My breathing became ragged. I gave into the feel of the tip of her tongue slowly flickering against my erect nipple. I felt her hand slipping deeper between my thighs. I grasped the sheet clenching my fists my body rocking against her hand grinding against my throbbing clit.

I could feel her trembling nudging my thighs further apart. She nestled her body between my thighs; instinctively I wrapped my legs around her waist. Her hands and lips continued their maddening ministrations. My body arched pressing my breast against her mouth. Ginny murmured with delight accepting my offer. I felt alive, my body burning from her touch her fingers slipping inside of my panties dipping into my wetness.

My frustrated growl echoed throughout the room when she lowered my body back down onto the mattress. Her touches and body slipping away. She intentionally hovered just above me without making contact with my overheated body. Her eyes were hooded with desire as she gazed down upon me. My lungs seized when she slowly lowered herself. She captured me in a searing kiss frustrating me even further; keeping her just a hairs breath away from touching mine.

Ginny, I whispered against her lips cupping her face in my hands. My heart soared when she let me touch her. I drew her closer. She kissed me again and again. Our bodies melted together and our limbs quickly becoming entwined.

We swayed urgently against one another. I felt her desire painting my skin. Kissing and caressing became our main focus. She slipped her hand between our bodies. She wrestled her body from my clinging embrace. I shivered my skin prickling as she kissed my shoulders moving from one to the other before running her hands down along the curves of my body. Ginny’s face lit up when she hooked her fingers in my underwear.

Her face was flushed with desire as she rolled my panties down my thighs. I parted my thighs after she discarded my underwear. She brushed her fingers against my wetness. I rolled my hips in response. She parted my slick folds with her fingers. I cried out when she ran her fingers along my swollen nether lips. A soft groan escaped me when her fingers brushed against my engorged nub. Oh Ginny, I began to rant repeatedly thrusting my body against her touch.

She murmured my name softly before slipping inside of me. My ears were ringing the world suddenly spiraling out of control. My body matched her wild rhythm as she glided in and out of me. She had driven me to the brink of insanity by taunting and teasing me. When she finally took me I was lost. My mind was filled with a flash of colors as my body erupted.

Will you do something for me? She cooed in my ear.

Anything, I helplessly whimpered.

Will you? She stammered her voice suddenly timid. I could feel her body moving higher.

Come here, I choked out already knowing what she wanted. Oh Ginny. You don’t have to ask. I panted guiding her closer. The musky aroma of her passion greeted me when she straddled my face. I clasped her backside; eagerly drawing her to my lips. I feasted upon her like a starving animal her taste driving me higher. My body trembled along with hers.

The feel of her passion washing over me did nothing to yield my touch.

She pulled away capturing me in her arms. Soon we were rolling around unable to stop touching and tasting one another. The morning gave way to our long denied passion. We couldn’t stop until our bodies had nothing left to offer. We spent the remainder of the day cuddling and caressing. The day was perfect except for one glaring blemish. There was no talk of what we had just shared. Nestled closely listening to the steady beating of her heart I could only hope that this was the first step in returning to what we had once shared.

In the beginning it was great and I started hoping that once we really got to know one another again we might have a chance. But I had to study all of the time. Ginny was having a hell of time finding a job. It is hard when you have to write on your application that you are a convicted felon. Then there was the tiny space we were sharing. I could see it in her eyes the walls were closing in on her.

I understood she was growing uneasy. I accepted that I would enjoy whatever time we had left together. One afternoon I returned from class to find the shower running. I was sporting an impish smile when I shed my clothing and snuck into the shower. She yelped spinning around with her fists drawn.

Whoa! I shouted holding up my hands.

Crap! Ellen, I’m sorry, she sputtered quickly retreating before clutching her heart. Sneaking up on someone in the shower just after they got out of prison isn’t a wise thing to do.

Ginny, I’m sorry, I quickly blurted out instantly realizing that my little venture was a major faux pas. I’ll get out.

No, she laughed relaxing slightly. I was startled. Since you’re here how about washing my back?

The shower turned into a fun evening. Still it was little things that reminded us that things could never be the same. We tried to settle into our lives. My studies were demanding and Ginny’s world was stilted. I think she was trying to fight it as well. But each of us could sense the end was nearing.

After saving a little bread from the only job she could get which was bagging groceries she announced it was time for her to be moving on. After we made love one last time I told her to keep the key to the studio and I gave her a key to a post office box I had rented in both of our names.

This way we can keep in touch, I explained. And I can forward your mail whenever you need me too or when you’re in town you can pick it up. And when you’re in town you better stop by.

Hey I just need to spread my wings, she smiled. I want to see things, do things. Here I’m just in the way. Don’t, she pressed her fingers to my lips halting the protest I was about to spew. I’m not walking out of your life I promise, I’ll be back.

The following morning I put her on a train heading west. Putting her on that train was the hardest thing I had ever done. Knowing that it was what she needed was a small comfort.

My God you do go here, Ron taunted taking a seat next to me. I had been studying in the library all day. You know I thought my old prom date was attending the same law school as me. But since she hasn’t had time to even do lunch or study with me I thought it was a myth. Like the Loch Ness monster.

Very funny, I shook my head almost laughing at his antics. Come on we’ll get coffee.

You mean you’ll be seen with little old me? He continued in a hushed tone.

Not if you keep acting like a goober, I scolded him.

We packed up and headed towards Dunster Street for coffee. Seriously Ellen, he began pouring a ton of sugar into his coffee. When I found out that the both of us were coming here I was stoked. Then you spend part of the summer in Europe. For which I forgive you.

I saw you over the summer. I shake my head sipping my freshly brewed cup of java.

And then nada, he wagged his finger at me. I thought hey Ellen’s going to Harvard. That means I will know at least one person there. Someone I could hangout with or study with but you just vanished last semester. I mean I saw you in class but other than that you were a regular Claude Reins.

Couldn’t be helped, I cringed. I had a houseguest.

Oh? He smiled giving me a thumbs up. Is he someone special?

He? I choked on my coffee. What? Oh man I keep forgetting we’re not in Kansas anymore. Or should I say Cedar Hills. I thought you knew. Or at least had done the math.

What am I missing? He shook his head.

This is such a bummer, I rolled my neck. I was hoping that after all these years Ron wouldn’t turn out to be a jerk. Let me answer your first question. Yes, she is special. But I always thought that she was.

She, came the deadpan response. He nodded his head thoughtfully stroking the stumble he mistakenly called a beard. That explains so much. Why didn’t you just tell me? He blew out casually.

I thought you knew, I answered honestly. Weren’t you a tiny bit suspicious? Every time I blew back into town I had a different woman on my arm. Who did you think they were?

Friends, he shrugged. Well that’s a downer. My old girlfriend has probably slept with more women than I have.

Probably. I couldn’t help but gloat. His jaw dropped and I thought my comment had really scored. That was until he started flailing his arms.

You rat fink, he sputtered. Man that is sneaky. I knew you were messing around when we were dating.

You said no other guys, I quickly interjected. I complied with the terms of the contract. Yeah just had to throw some legal jargon in there.

You tricked me, he fussed. Man O’ man the whole time I was looking for the guy who was scamming my girl. It didn’t occur to me that you were scoring a touchdown in one of the Cherry Mobiles. Don’t deny it the two of you were as thick as thieves. Again don’t forget you are under oath.

Since I’m under oath, I taunted him with a rakish grin. It was both Cherry Mobiles.

You suck. He growled.

No I don’t which is why I was riding around with the twins, I beamed. But to set the record, pardon the expression, straight. I never ever rounded the bases in either car.

Both twins, you’re a legend, he sighed clutching his heart. In fact you’re my hero.

If I may clarify for the record counselor, I groaned. I only messed around with Laurie just a little bit and only once. Because as we all know she’s a lunatic. Ginny was a different story. And no not in the car. We saved it for our little outing up to Vermont. Oh wait that’s a lie. I suddenly stopped myself recalling the side trip into the woods a few months ago. I did do the deed in one of the Chevy’s but that was very recent and shouldn’t be held against me. I mean the poor girl just got out of prison.

Ginny’s home?

Was, I grimaced. She got sprung just before last semester began.

And? He prompted.

And, I sighed wearily. Too much time, too much water under the bridge and a long ass list of other lame reasons. Basically we’ve grown apart and she felt suffocated here. She’s somewhere in California last I heard. We keep in touch as best we can. Just wasn’t meant to be I guess. Of course I probably should have realized that sooner. Like when she was carted off to prison only a few days after I lost my virginity to her. If that isn’t a sign I don’t know what is.

Injustice. He glumly supplied.

I don’t know, I frowned. Ginny and I talked about things. You know if it didn’t happen what were the chances we would have survived. More than likely we would have crashed and burned like most high school sweethearts.

You mean like my parents? He chided me. Oh no wait they’re still together. In fact they just celebrated their twenty-second wedding anniversary.

Ever do the math on that one Ron? I cut him to the quick not wanting to admit that he might be right. Accepting that Ginny and I were never meant to be was a lot easier than thinking that we might have made it.

I’d rather not, he groaned. If anyone asks I was premature. And it doesn’t change the fact that they are still madly in love with one another. Just because you met when you were so young doesn’t mean anything.

Objection. Stop badgering the witness, I demanded. My shoulders slumped. I loved him dearly but at that moment I wanted to smack him one. I can’t go there. Not without a time machine. If it is meant to be then it will happen. For now I have to let her go.

I’m sorry, Ron offered clasping my hand.

It was nice to have him back in my life. It was even better than it was in high school now that I could be honest with him. He took my sexuality in stride and we became very close friends. He was right it was nice having a friendly face on campus.

Ginny kept her word and wrote to me as often as she could. Her life on the West Coast was only a little more freeing. She still seemed to be struggling. The only jobs she could find were menial to say the least. She said she was happy to be living in the outside world. Soon even the vast expanse of the West proved too confining.

I felt good that even during her absence she was never really out of my life. I’d get letters detailing her travels, once she had bought a beat up van and sent me postcards from every hole in the wall and tacky tourist attraction along Route 66. A part of me was envious another part grew more and more excited when the postcards were arriving from locations closer and closer to home. One day there was a knock on the door and there she stood holding up a postcard from Boston.

You’re late. I scolded her in a mocking tone.

Traffic was a bitch. She wryly answered.

Then we asked the questions which would become a staple for each time she rolled into town. How long are you staying? I questioned praying that I didn’t sound too eager.

Don’t know, she’d always shrugged before posing her question. So am I interrupting anything or pissing someone off by crashing here.

No, I reassured her. So, you coming in?

Okay, she smirked. I shivered slightly when she waltzed into my tiny home and dumped her duffle bag in the corner.

Still carrying that old thing? I laughed glancing over at my Dad’s old navy bag.

Are you criticizing my luggage? She retorted with a gasp. All my worldly possessions are in there. Sans the poodle skirt I left at your folks. So what’s for dinner?

It was great to see that the spark in her eyes was returning. She was far more relaxed and confident than she was the last time I had seen her. Yet there was still a darkness lurking before her smile. ‘Give her time.’ I silently reminded myself. I grimaced when I realized she was expecting an answer to her query. Uhm you know that’s a good question, I nodded knowing that my cupboards were bare.

I could take us out, she suggested. I still have a little bread left from my journey.

Don’t worry about it, I waved her off. I’ll call and have something delivered.

Are you sure?

It was what I had planned on doing anyways, I confessed. I retreated into the little corner I called my kitchen and began flipping through a bunch of menus. So how did the van hold up?

Great. Until I was just outside of Tulsa, she glibly explained. Some old dude bought her for parts. I hitched the rest of the way.

That’s dangerous, I mumbled knowing she wouldn’t pay me any heed.

Got me here. She boasted.

Chinese?

Sounds good, she sighed slumping down on the mattress and kicking off her boots. What is going on? She questioned glancing at the tiny black and white television I had resting on top of a milk crate.

Apparently we decided to invade Cuba, I groaned. Didn’t go well. Haven’t you been watching the news?

Not really, she sighed watching the events. Been busy just trying to get here. So why did we invade Cuba?

It was there, I shrugged. And it’s full of Commies. I added mimicking my Dad.

Oh well then they had it coming, she chuckled pulling off her boots.

I dialed the restaurant and placed a large order to be delivered. Food should be here in about half an hour, I offered crossing the room to join her.

Sounds like heaven, she smiled up at me. I kneeled before her curious if my advances would be welcomed. Uhm, she pulled back.

Sorry, I quickly apologized.

Not you, she smirked. I’ve been going nonstop. Honestly I stink.

Oh? I laughed mildly relieved. I sniffed and I had to agree with her. The bathroom is in the same place. I nodded.

You’re the best.

Yeah I’m a freaking saint, I scowled pulling her up. Now go get clean. I demanded swatting her on the butt.

It was a nice albeit short visit. It didn’t take long for her restlessness to kick in. Then she was off; this time I put her on a train heading south. She wrote when she could. She visited when she could. It wasn’t what I had hoped for still every time I saw or heard from her I felt complete.

Over the passage of time Ginny tried to time her visits so that the both of us would be single. If we weren’t it made for an interesting visit. We’d still sleep together in the mattress laid out on the floor that I insisted was a bed. But all we did was sleep. Despite everything she had lived through and seen Ginny still possessed a sense of honor. I hated it at times. Sleeping beside her not being able to touch her was hell. Not to mention how poorly my girlfriends would react to the unorthodox situation. I wanted to grab Ginny by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. Tell her that I would happily break up with whomever if she would stay. She never did. She hung around just long enough to grow uncomfortable and then she’d be off again.

PART SEVEN

1962

This was the year the Beatles released their first album, Russia and Cuba entered into a pact making my Dad and the US government extremely nervous, but we seemed to be winning the space race. We had no idea that before the year ended nothing would ever be the same. We had already begun questioning why we were in Vietnam and I was focused on Law School while trying to make my mark on the world.

Mom stormed into the kitchen. She was in a huff. I peered over my glasses which I had recently discovered I needed. I had been studying preparing for the new semester. Should I ask? I haphazardly threw out.

Your father is what you kids would call a drag, she grumbled grabbing food from the fridge and slamming it on the counter. He’s trying to put the kibosh on our trip. You’d think seeing the nation’s capital would thrill him.

I don’t think the going off to D.C part is what is making him drag his heels, I sighed setting my papers aside. It might be the trip to the art gallery.

Seeing the Mona Lisa? Mom gasped. It’s the Mona Lisa! And I doubt that it will be on view in the U.S. ever again. I just want to see it. Is that so wrong?

No, Mom it isn’t, I agreed. It is coming to New York. Still you’ve made all the reservations so you should go. It truly is amazing to see in person.

You’ve seen it? She snarled.

Uhm, yeah, I meekly confessed cringing slightly from the hostile gaze she was casting down upon me. When I was in France the summer before last.

Bumming around Europe with nothing but a backpack and a couple a bucks in your pocket and you’ve seen it, she was furious. I’m offering a comfortable hotel and a museum and Mr. Gloomy Gus doesn’t want to go.

Oh for the love of, Dad grunted upon entering the kitchen. Are you still on that?

Dad, I’d tread carefully, I tried to caution him.

You’re not helping, he groaned casting a disapproving look down at me.

True, I’m not one to seek relationship advice from, I conceded. Still, if I may suggest the trip sounds like a gas. Seeing the Mona Lisa is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Not to mention there are tons of things to do in D.C.

Eleanore has seen it. Mom fumed.

Again not helping, Dad was pleading with me now. It’s not that I don’t want to go. Aunt Frieda is sick. Nothing major but she can’t watch Sammy. He’s only thirteen. We can’t very well leave him on his own knowing that one we’d find a zoo when we got back.

I rolled my neck almost snickering when he mentioned Aunt Frieda. It was one of those family secrets. Frieda wasn’t really our aunt. What Mom and Dad didn’t know was that I knew that she was Dad’s first wife from a short lived teenaged marriage. I can only assume that was another reason my grandmother disapproved of my mother marrying my father. Still this time Dad had a point. Sammy was almost fourteen and, by nature, a very quiet and most of the time a responsible young man. Still leaving your teenaged son on his own for almost two weeks was not a good idea. I can help, I jumped in before they could begin round two. I’ll stay with Sammy.

You have school, Dad argued. Your classes start on Monday.

And we have that beautiful Chevy sitting in the garage, I pointed out. The way my classes run this semester Sammy and I will be in school at the same time. The drive will be a bit much, but he wouldn’t be alone for more than an hour in the afternoon. You know I can cook for him. No big deal. I just need to go into town and grab some of my clothes and books. It’s not like I have any plants to water.

All right then, Dad smiled.

Hold on, Mom cut in. Are you sure that you are up for this? Driving in and out of the city? Plus handling your studies and your brother?

Mom, I laughed with a shake of my head. I’ve been living on my own since I was eighteen. I’ve traveled around the country and as you know hitchhiked across Europe. I think I can balance my classes with watering and feeding my little brother. How hard can it be?

You have no idea, she shook her head.

Doris it is only ten days, Dad stressed. We haven’t taken a trip alone together since, he words trailed off. How old are you? He directed towards me.

In a couple of months I’ll be twenty-three, I groaned. Like I said I should be able to take care of the little booger for ten days.

See, Dad began before turning back towards me. You hitchhiked?

Dad, hitching a ride in Europe is not like it is here, I quickly blurted out.

Oh, his brow furrowed. So, you didn’t stick your thumb out in the middle of nowhere and climb into a stranger’s car? A foreign stranger’s car.

Technically I was the foreigner, I quipped before I could stop myself. But I only got into cars with women. It was only partially true. On a couple rainy nights stupidly I jumped into the first heap that stopped. Thankfully all that was offered to me was a ride.

Of course, Mom grumbled rubbing her throbbing temple. You’re right. You’re an adult. And it isn’t like it was when you were Sammy’s age. He doesn’t have a lot of friends. I doubt he’ll be whooping it up while we’re gone. Eleanore thank you. We’re flying out on Sunday and we’ll leave you some money and a long list of things to do.

A list? I sighed. I think I know how to,

Oh no you don’t, Mom flashed a cocky smirk.

‘How hard can it be?’ Yeah I should just put that one on my tombstone. Mom was right I had no idea. He didn’t like what I cooked, he didn’t appreciate having to do his own laundry, he didn’t listen to a thing I said and my normally shy little brother thought just because our overly strict parents were absent he had free reign. Coming home on time wasn’t a priority, bed times didn’t exist and the little snot had the nerve to bring up the subject of sex.

What? I blushed furiously praying that he just didn’t ask me what sex was like.

Come on El? He pleaded one night while I was trying to study. You know. Who else can I ask?

Dad. I demanded. He flashed me this look that screamed, ‘Are you kidding me?’ What makes you think I know anything? I tossed in an effort to save myself.

El, he flashed me a mischievous grin. Uhm I don’t know, maybe it was the way you used to fog up the windows of the Chevy when you and Ginny parked at the end of the driveway. The hedges don’t cover as much as you think they do.

Ick! I blanched feeling my stomach churning. You watched?

No, he flatly denied. I saw you guys kissing once. I really didn’t want to see what happened next. That would be gross. Come on El. I’ve seen your apartment. I know Ginny stays there. If you’re a virgin then where does she sleep?

You got to hand it to the kid. He wasn’t stupid. Sammy, I growled waving my hands frantically. You remember when you were eight and I told there were things you just shouldn’t say? This is one of them.

Ellie are you a virgin? His tone was so innocent and truly unsettling.

That is none of your business, I cut him down. I’m an adult. Again this is something you need to talk to Dad about. He’s a guy, he’ll understand.

Did you and Mom talk about sex? He aimlessly pressed on.

Okay that one I can answer, I blew out thoroughly exasperated. Yes, she sat me down when I was fifteen. And she was very patient and understanding. Even if it turns out most of what she told didn’t apply to my life.

So you knew then you liked girls? He was so sincere it just floored me.

No, I collected my thoughts. That came later. Just when and how is again none of your business. Why are you asking? I suddenly panicked. I didn’t think it was true still if there was a chance it would more than likely kill my parents.

Hold on, he giggled. I like girls.

Whew, I happily blew out. Not that it wouldn’t be okay if you didn’t. I just don’t think Mom and Dad can handle another round of let’s pretend. Sam here’s the deal. Sex is a very special thing and should only happen when you are in love. And much, much older. Like fifty.

Ellie! He scowled.

Okay not fifty, I conceded. But not now. You are far too young to be considering it.

I’m not considering doing it now, he groused. Just you know, I hear the guys talking and I’m curious.

Fair enough, I nodded. First thing you need to know is ninety-eight percent of what the guys are saying is a boat load of crap. All the boasting you hear in the locker room, the boys room and everywhere else you little heathens gather are out and out lies. For example most of the guys I dated told everyone I put out. Imagine my next date’s surprise when I kneed him for trying.

So when they say they’ve scored, he curiously pushed.

They probably haven’t. I sternly informed him. Most of the girls you’ve heard are easy more than likely haven’t gone past first base. Now can we end this little chat before my head explodes?

What about? He ignored my pleas.

What? I whined searching for an escape route.

Is it fun?

You are a major pain, I whimpered. Yes, with the right person it is fun. Again, only when you are in love and when you are much older. Please stop. Five more days and you can have a sit down with Dad. Until then just watch your show. I insisted nodding towards 77 Sunset Strip which had just begun.

Wow, he chuckled. I thought you’d be cooler about this. After all you’ve had so many girlfriends.

No, I haven’t, I gulped knowing it was the truth. And I am cool. I just don’t want to talk about this with my baby brother. It’s gross, okay?

But? He began his query cut off by the ringing of the telephone.

Thank you, I praised the heavens bolting towards the phone. Hello?

Well hey there? I didn’t expect you to answer, she cooed.

Ginny? I whispered slipping deeper into the kitchen so I could have some privacy. Hey how are you?

Good, she responded with a lilting laugh. Now I know why you aren’t at your place.

Yeah, the folks took a trip and I’m babysitting the freak, I grumbled twirling the phone cord between my fingers. You won’t believe what the little creep just asked me about.

What? She sighed happily.

Sex. I shivered still trying to rid the conversation from my memory.

He’s just a baby. She protested.

No, he’s a teenaged boy, I growled. Then it hit me. Where are you calling from?

Do you never visit the grocery store? She teased me.

How long are you staying? I stammered feeling a little light headed.

Don’t know, she cleared her throat. Should I hop on the train? Sounds like you could use a little backup.

That would be great, I gushed.

See ya in a couple of hours.

Scooter make yourself presentable we have company coming over, I shouted after I hung up the phone.

We can’t have guests, he sneered. It’s on the list.

She has a room here, I smirked.

Ginny? He bolted up before racing around. Suddenly Sammy remembered how to clean the house and pick up his things.

Yeah works every time, I laughed. Can’t be the car anymore must be the boobs.

Ginny and I shared a lengthy albeit unspoken list of rules that overshadowed our romantic lives. No messing around if one of us was involved topped the list. Not messing around in my parent’s home was another biggie. We kissed, cuddled and got a little frisky at times. But we never had sex under mom and dad’s roof. It would have been disrespectful. My parents had given us a lot of latitude over the years still actually making love while they were out wasn’t as Sammy put it, on the list. We had spent longer periods of time together without crossing the line this visit wouldn’t be a hardship. And Sammy still hung on her every word, maybe now I could keep the grody little runt in line.

Just as I predicted little Sammy hung on Ginny’s every word and followed her around like some kind of demented shadow. For my part I was not only happy to see her, I really wanted to sing her praises for saving me. If she hadn’t shown up I’m almost positive that I would have ended up hacking little Sammy to death before hiding his body parts in the Carlisle woods.

The most interesting part of her visit was that the usual sexual tempest we swirled around was absent. Not that I didn’t find her attractive. I did. Still the task at hand, overrode any carnal desires. Having Ginny at the house twenty-four hours a day nipped Sammy’s sudden case of teenaged angst in the bud. She was like she was when we used to study together. She’d answer all his questions, never talking down to him or dismissing his quirky questions. Then again he didn’t make her squirm by asking about our sex life.

I don’t get what the problem was? She had the gall to say to me one night after she told Sammy it was time for bed. Amazingly the rodent just said goodnight and went to bed.

Oh, you missed the fun part, I curled my lips into a snarl. He worships you. Whatever you say goes.

Whatever, she shrugged flopping down on the sofa. Want to watch a little television? Or do you have to study?

What’s on? I questioned joining her.

The Untouchables, she shrugged.

Sounds good, I stretched out my body pleased when the tension in my shoulders seemed to slip away.

You study so much, she shook her head. I had no idea how hard law school is. I mean I knew it wasn’t a walk in the park, still you study nonstop.

It is very competitive. Most of the stuff we are learning is pretty interesting, I shrugged trying to focus on the show. And some of it is dullsville.

I was surprised when you chose law school, she threw out. Not that I doubted you would do well, just I thought you were gearing up to be an English major.

Had a change of heart, I dodged her query.

Uh Huh, she pursed her lips.

I was inspired, I quietly offered with a shy smile. I got a first hand view of just how screwed up our legal system is.

Me too. She smirked.

Speaking of my education, I tentatively began. Every summer I need to do an internship.

Really? She perked up seeming to be interested.

Yup, I get to go and be slave labor for a real law firm, I snickered. Mostly they use us as glorified gophers. But we do get to learn about the real side of working in the outside world.

That must be cool, she nodded. Where are you heading this summer?

I was just about to ask you the same thing, I concluded. Any idea where those wandering feet of yours are going to land in June? I thought maybe it might be nice to come visit you for a change. I turned to her surprised by the perplexed look on her face. Bad idea? I questioned worried that perhaps I had overstepped my bounds.

No, she quickly reassured me. It’s a terrific idea. Only I have no idea where I’ll be in six months. Making a game plan is such a bizarre concept for me right now. Ever since last June, I just get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other and just stop when it feels right. Kind of a dip shit way to get through your day.

Is it working? I encouraged.

For now. She sighed wearily. Still spending the summer together. It is tempting. Where are you applying?

I’m setting my sights on a lot of different places and I’ve had some offers, I fought to keep it causal. Boston, Pittsburg, San Francisco, Michigan, Portland and a couple of others. Trying to land a good spot is really cut throat. Women have a harder time.

Pittsburg is out of the question, she teased. What is your first pick? She turned to me narrowing her eyes when I failed to respond. Ellen?

It was Boston, I muttered. Only because I’m interested in the firm. Still I’d love to travel. Expand my horizons a bit. If you could perhaps narrow down the geographical area you might end up, I could try for something close to you.

Okay, I’ll try and figure it out, she nervously sputtered rubbing her face.

Forget it, I gently patted her hand.

Ellen? She was ready to fight me.

Ginny, I blew out. You’re breaking out into a rash just thinking about it. You’re not ready.

Sorry, she gulped. It’s not you. I just can’t seem to focus on what I should do next week much less trying to plan out where I will be in six months.

I understand, I tried to comfort her fears. How about we do this? I’ll let you know where I end up and if you find yourself in the area we’ll see each other.

You are way to understanding, she frowned.

The hell I am, I laughed. If you hadn’t shown up right now Sammy would be a dim memory.

She just chuckled and we pretended to watch television. Finally I excused myself since I really did have more studying to do. She sat up watching television for awhile stopping by my room to say goodnight. The next few days went smoothly. We just let any talk regarding our plans for the summer fall by the wayside.

When my parents returned they looked completely relaxed not to mention thrilled to see Ginny. How was the trip? I innocently inquired.

Oh it was just fabulous, Mom prattled on. Eleanore can I see you in the kitchen?

Uh oh, I shivered recognizing the tone of her voice meant that I was in some kind of trouble. I did as requested looking around the house to ensure nothing was broken or out of place. She had a fake smile plastered on her face. Further alerting me I was in it deep. Yet, for the life of me I had no idea what I did. Mom? I swear nothing was broken, set on fire or demolished in any way, shape or form.

Ginny looks good, she slowly drew out.

Yeah, I smiled brightly.

How long has she been home? Mom remained calm still there was a hint of harshness to her voice.

A few days, I shrugged completely unaware of just where this conversation was heading. She was a God send actually. You were right I didn’t know what I was in for. Sammy was a real handful. Good thing he worships Ginny. She really made him tow the line. And for the love of God will you just tell me why I’m suddenly in trouble? Normally you’re ecstatic when Ginny comes home.

And I’m usually here. She stressed pursing her lips.

Huh? My brow crinkled then it hit me. No, Mom. No we wouldn’t. I am pretty sure that’s on the list. I babbled on pointing to the encyclopedia of do’s and don’ts she taped to the refrigerator before she left for the airport. And Sammy was here what kind of example would we be setting? Just so you know even if the house was empty, we wouldn’t. This is your home and we respect you and Dad far too much.

I’m sorry, Eleanore, she blew out with relief clutching her chest. I trust you and Ginny. It’s just these days the rules have changed. In my day we waited for our wedding night.

We’re not kids, I grimly informed her. And we aren’t allowed a wedding night. That’s one rule that will never change.

Maybe? She tried to sound hopeful still the defeat rang through. Again I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.

It wasn’t that far fetched Mom, I gave her a lopsided grin. Oh speaking of what we aren’t speaking of, Dad might want to have a little sit down with Sammy. He’s very curious about girls.

He’s a baby, she sputtered the veins in her neck bulging. What did you tell him?

He was too young and he needs to talk to Dad, I directly informed her. The whole conversation creeped me out. The little freak asked if I was a, I shivered. Never mind. I abruptly ended my sentence.

A what? She beamed quickly resuming her game of cat and mouse.

Nothing. I stuttered.

Are you? Mom cornered me.

Mom! I gasped my body filling with a deep sense of fear. I’m … Uhm …I’m an adult.

What’s up? Ginny inquired poking her head in the kitchen.

shewasaskingifi’mavirgin, I squeaked out unintelligibly.

What? Ginny quizzically inquired stepping fully into the kitchen. You don’t look so good, she patted my forehead. Are you feeling okay?

I was just messing with her, Mom laughed patting my face.

It wasn’t funny, I snarled.

Sure it was, Mom laughed once again before bouncing out of the kitchen.

Do I want to know? Ginny shook her head.

She asked if I was a virgin. I hissed under my breath.

Uhm, huh? What? She stammered like an idiot. What did you say?

I babbled like complete moron and never answered the question, I blew out still flustered.

A good end run, Ginny nodded with a thoughtful look. Nothing wrong with that. I mean she must know. She does, doesn’t she?

Of course she knows, I grumbled. She was screwing with me.

Is that why she dragged you in here? Ginny tried to catch up with what had happened.

No, I sighed still trying to catch my bearings. She was worried that we bunked together during their absence. I told her without actually telling her that we would never do that.

Well that’s good, she gleefully nodded. Still I am confused as to just how the question of your innocence or lack thereof came up.

Sammy’s little sex talk the other night, I smacked myself in the head for being such an idiot. I told her that he had questions and maybe Dad should talk to him. I also told her that he asked if I was a virgin.

He what? She gaped at me.

I told him it was none of his business, I sternly repeated.

Another good end run, she smiled appreciatively. You should have been on the football team. Then again maybe you should have just told her the truth?

Have you suffered a head injury recently? I gasped. Tell my mother that with her blessing you took me across state lines and deflowered me when I was still in high school. Why don’t I just tell her how I got to second base with you on her living room sofa?

Well I wouldn’t phrase it like that, she scoffed. You and your Mom really have an easy going relationship. Heck she and I have discussed some pretty heavy stuff.

Ginny she knows and doesn’t want to hear it. And if we tell her; she’ll be forced to tell Dad, I carefully spelled out for her benefit. If Pops finds out you seduced me, I’d start sleeping with one eye open. Pops was what Ginny started calling Dad. She was a part of the family and addressing my parents formally or by their first names was awkward for everyone. Somewhere along the line it became Pops and Ma. Although she still fell into the habit of calling them Mr. & Mrs. Druette now and then.

Oh come on they know, she weakly tried to argue. I mean how bad could it be? Maybe we should just get it out in the open?

Ginny he thinks of you as his daughter, I treaded carefully. Are you going out there right now and tell him that you slept with your sister?

That’s disgusting, she blurted out. Don’t ever phrase it like that again. And oh my God he really would flip wouldn’t he?

Big time, I stressed. Don’t forget he has a whole drawer of very sharp razors down at the shop. Ginny he knows. They both know. They don’t want to hear it. They’re our parents. They want to go to the grave believing that we are as pure as the driven snow. It’s a parent thing.

I promise, she shivered. If you promise to do something for me? I know we’re as close as siblings. Never, ever refer to yourself as my sister again. That is just too funky. She shivered with disgust.

On so many levels, I agreed feeling slightly nauseas at the thought. Well this has been fun. Mom tortured me. Sammy tortured me. You tortured me. Can’t wait to see what you guys do for my birthday.

The rest of the evening went okay. I think the little chat in the kitchen had unnerved the both of us. I had assumed that Ginny would return to the city with me. Still I wasn’t overly surprised when she announced she decided to spend a couple of days with my parents.

You don’t mind do you? She shifted nervously as I loaded up the Chevy.

No, I answered her honestly. What we said in the kitchen was weird.

It does bring up a question we’ve been dodging, she grimly muttered. What are we?

Friends, I shrugged. Definitely family.

And we sleep together? She grimaced.

Now and then. I conceded feeling just as confused as she was. Maybe we’re just screwed up because we never actually broke up. Sometimes I feel like we just dated other people until you got out. Of course some of us started sooner than others. I couldn’t help adding in a bitter tone. My eyes widened when I caught the uneasy look in her eyes. You lied? Damn it. Tell me! I demanded as she turned away. I clutched her by the shoulder and spun her around. Tell me. When was the first time? Was it after I started seeing Connie?

Ellen, she cautioned me with a helpless look.

Tell me. I echoed.

Yes.

Virginia, I snarled my blood boiling. I had already known that she had misled me for, as she put it, my own good. This wasn’t a little exaggeration; this really hurt. I am only going to say this one last time. It wasn’t your decision to make.

It was the right thing to do. She choked out.

No, I shook my head furiously. It wasn’t. I just stood there neither of us speaking. The silence was unbearable. I have to go. I finally blurted out. She just nodded and I drove away.

During the drive back I had the chance to calm down. Slowly I came to the realization that what happened was beyond our control. We were so young; dealing with things our sheltered lives had never prepared us for. She did what she thought was best. I still thought it was wrong. Yet, I had to question that if I was sitting in a cell what would I have done? Count down the days hoping that she would wait for me or set her free? I knew what the answer would have been. I would have done what Ginny had done.

I almost screamed when I opened the door to my apartment. Good Lord, how did you beat me here? I gasped when I found her sitting on the mattress.

Pops drives like a maniac. She flatly explained.

No kidding, I smiled shaking my head. She just sat there in a stony silence as I dragged my bags in and shed my coat. I’m glad you’re here. I offered taking a seat next to her.

I just couldn’t leave things like that, she solemnly confessed. I hate it when we fight. Ellen back then you weren’t listening to me.

And you weren’t listening to me, I sighed.

I did what I thought was right, she shook her head. I still think it was the right thing to do. I hated deceiving you, but you were miserable. I had to do something.

On the drive home I had a chance to think about things, I slowly began. I don’t agree with what you did and I’m pretty sure I would have done the very same thing.

Even though you think it was wrong? She challenged me with a lopsided grin.

If I was sitting in a jail cell convinced you were wasting your youth? I responded resting my head on her shoulder. You bet. I would have lied, cheated or stole just to make you happy. Having said that, we’re not teenagers anymore. Next time we talk things out. Deal?

Deal. She wrapped her arms around me. You do know this doesn’t really resolve anything.

Best I can do, I nuzzled against her body.

It was true nothing was resolved still we felt better. She stayed for a couple of days before I put her on another train; this time she decided to head north. After she left I settled back into my routine. Studying nonstop, investigating her case and going on the occasional date. I know it sounds dull. It was anything but. My days at Harvard were enthralling.

The world was changing, the law was changing and, most importantly, I was changing. Hard to believe but the years between sixteen and twenty-three are more expansive than the universe. I was beginning to understand that what Ginny and I were looking for in the other no longer existed. Although letting go wasn’t the answer we understood turning back the clock was impossible.

Now there is my favorite student, Professor Larsen addressed me taking a seat beside me. I had been hiding in the coffee shop in an effort to finish preparing for my next class. Ironically enough he was teaching my next class.

Professor Larsen, I greeted him politely curious as to why he had chosen to not only speak to me but to sit with me. Most of our instructors kept their distance. During class they seemed to enjoy showing us up. Granted he was a good instructor and I enjoyed his class still the familiarity of his gesture was odd.

Not to worry, he laughed lightly. I’m not going to spring a pop quiz on you. I just heard that you’ve applied for an internship at my firm.

Along with several others, I nodded.

Keeping your options open is very wise, he complimented me. After all your internships are not only to help you learn more about the law, but they are for all intents and purposes a pre-interview for a position. Firms examine a prospective candidate very closely. Which is why I am curious about rumors I’ve heard regarding a personal project you’ve been working on for sometime now? Is it true that you are trying to exonerate a convicted rapist?

No sir, I corrected him. I am trying to clear an innocent woman’s name.

A woman? He nodded with a ghost of a smile. An uphill battle to say the least. Sad to say the laws in this country are medieval. What happened? Did she get caught with her girlfriend? Normally just a slap on the wrist still if you get caught by the wrong cop or judge it can be hell.

No in fact at the time the crime occurred she was with her girlfriend in another state. I definitely explained slapping my pencil down.

She has an alibi? He practically squealed. Then you are halfway home. You just can’t mention what she and her girlfriend were doing at the time. Maybe I can help overturn the conviction. When was she convicted?

December 1956.

Excuse me? He blinked completely thrown by the information. Even if that relic Crenshaw was on the bench shouldn’t she be out by now?

She was released last May, I confirmed.

I’m confused, he stammered. Miss Druette I’m not going to lie to you tackling gay issues is hard enough. A lot of law firms will not even consider you if they find out. If the woman has already served her sentence then what’s the point? You are bright, talented and have a promising career ahead of you. Why are you risking it for a moot point?

The point is imagining trying to start your life over again, I slowly began extracting the file that was always near me. Hard enough with just a high school diploma. You are filling out a job application. You answer all the questions then you reach that one question. Check yes or no have you ever been convicted of a felony? You check the box marked yes. You have to know that even McDonalds will check. You move on to the next section, if you answered yes explain. They’ll check so you have to write sex offender. I understand that your firm is quite liberal. Would you hire a convicted sex offender even though they swear that they are innocent?

I’m ashamed to admit it, but no I wouldn’t, he meekly confessed. Is that her file?

Everything I’ve been working on since 1956.

May I? He politely requested holding his hand out.

Only if you promise to get it back to me as soon as possible. I agreed handing him Ginny’s file.

One week later I walked into his office feeling skittish. Sit. He instructed me Ginny’s file lying open on his cluttered desk. This is a fascinating case. He blew out almost excited. It could be a question on one of my exams. You have done an amazing job with it. Witness statements confirming that Virginia was out of state or elsewhere during both incidents. You even have notarized statements from the victims that the car that picked them up had a dent in the back. You backed that up with sworn statements that it was Laura not Virginia who always drove the car that was dented. You even have statements from the victims and the first officer on the scene that the attacker was right handed. And sworn statements that Virginia, unlike her identical twin, was left handed. The transcripts from the arraignment prove that she had inadequate counsel. Surprising since they are one of the top firms in the State. The fact that she has an identical twin would have been more than enough to cause reasonable doubt had the case gone to trial. Then we have the judge’s thinly veiled threats to ship her off to a mental institution. Allowing her prior bad acts to be admitted plus the harshness of her sentence. She was a minor and should have served her time at Cold Springs. Again proving she got bad advice from counsel. All in all Virginia Swenson should have never spent a day in jail. Now Miss Druette if I posed the question on an exam should her conviction be overturned how would you answer?

No it shouldn’t. I sighed heavily.

Why? He prompted me.

Because she entered a plea thereby nullifying any chance of appeal. I grimly conceded. I’m not giving up.

Good. He complimented me. If I can be of any help don’t hesitate to call. I won’t lie that when she agreed to plead guilty she screwed herself.

Thank you. I nodded accepting the file.

No thank you, he stated. This is a case I would love to bring before a higher court.

Later that evening I returned home. I was still living in my tiny studio by myself, and was pleased to discover I had a guest waiting for me. I knew giving you a key was a smart thing to do, I smiled at Ginny who was resting comfortably on the worn mattress that I called a bed. Passing through?

Yup. Ginny grinned brushing back her unruly locks. I can’t believe you are still crashing in this shoe box?

Hey at one time you said it was a palace, I quipped setting my books and papers down on my desk. The truth was keeping my tiny space prevented any of my girlfriends from moving in. Of course the limited space was also one of the reasons Ginny never stuck around.

I had just gotten out of prison. She snorted.

Where have you been? I questioned shedding my coat before curling up next to her.

California, she shrugged lighting a cigarette. Picking grapes.

There is our justice system for you. Ginny wandered the country as a migrant farm worker; slaving for hours for mere pennies while her twin who beat up a fifteen year old girl was working the country club circuit. There was no way I was ever going to stop fighting to clear her name. I rested my hand on her stomach wondering how long she would stay this time.

I stopped off to visit my family, she casually threw out.

Let me guess, I groaned. You asked to come home and they threw money at you.

A bundle, she laughed. Dad really wanted to get rid of me this time. So that means I can take you out to eat at a really nice restaurant tonight. What do ya say?

Oh yeah, my stomach growled.

Unless, she hesitated. I’m not going to be pissing off someone by crashing here and wining and dinning you am I? When I failed to answer her jaw clenched. What’s her name? She tried to sound casual.

Tara.

I should crash somewhere else, she offered trying to climb off the mattress.

No, I halted her movements by tugging on her blouse. She’ll have to understand.

She won’t, Ginny snickered. They never do. When are you going to learn Ellen? Your girlfriends don’t like it when you share a bed with your old flame for indefinite periods of time. I wouldn’t put up with it.

I’m not in love with her, I fussed climbing off the bed looking for something to wear. I can’t get serious about anyone. I have school to focus on. I just get lonely Ginny.

Trust me I understand. She laughed.

So are we going to wait till she dumps me or are you joining me in the shower? I boldly questioned heading towards the bathroom.

I already took a shower. She called out.

You are far too noble, I scolded her.

I have my standards, she grunted. Mind if I smoke a joint before dinner?

Go ahead just a crack a window I hate the smell, I called out turning on the water. It was strange the both of us had kicked cigarettes some time ago. Yet, Ginny, who was only a social smoker, started smoking weed.

When I stepped out of the shower I found Ginny watching television. It was still the teeny tiny set I had bought when I moved in, just to keep me company at night. I don’t think we should go out tonight. She said her voice wavering.

What is it? I questioned curling up next to her.

I think we’re about to go to war, she grimaced just as President Kennedy appeared and addressed the nation.

For six days we clung to one another and like the rest of the nation prepared for the worst. It was the first crisis my generation would face. Prior to that we had thought the tragic deaths of James Dean and Marilyn Monroe were the worst thing that had happened in our young lives. The fact that I clung so closely to Ginny didn’t sit well with Tara my girlfriend who had a real problem with my ex-flame staying with me. On October 28th when we heard that the Russian ships were retreating, the nation breathed a sigh of relief and Tara told me to take a hike. Between the Russians backing down and Tara dumping me it was a pretty good day.

After getting my walking papers I rushed home and seduced Ginny. I know I’m a jerk but she was the one I wanted. All of the years apart had failed to diminish the fire. It hurt knowing that she would soon be walking out the door, so I settled for whatever time we had together.

It was just over a week later when I arrived home that Ginny informed me that I had died. I heard, I snarled snatching the newspaper from her hands before smacking her with it. It was November 7th and the former first lady Eleanore Roosevelt had passed on, my dad was very upset. I admired Mrs. Roosevelt still being saddled with her name had never been a picnic for me. So want to go have dinner with a corpse? I taunted her. There it was that look; the one she got each time just before she announced that it was time for her to hit the road. Or are you packing?

Not much to pack. She frowned. I have to go.

I never argued with her, never once asked her to stay, and most importantly, never told her just how much she meant to me. Ginny was still carrying the scars from the past and I couldn’t heal them. She needed to be free and I had to let her go. Each time my heart broke just a little more. Hitching again or will you at least let me buy you a train ticket?

I can’t take your money, she huffed.

No you’d rather risk your life standing out on a cold highway being picked up by God knows who? I snapped. Take the Chevy.

Nope that is your car. She valiantly argued.

I don’t even keep it in the city, I fought back. It’s parked in my parent’s garage. She just sat there refusing to budge. Take a train ticket. I persisted. Do it for me?

Fine, she expelled an exasperated breath.

When? I tentatively questioned picking the lint from my sweater.

I figured I could head out first thing in the morning, she stated without a hint of regret.

I see. I nodded it was always the same. She’d tell me the night before and I’d send her off the following morning. I crawled up onto the bed knowing that the night would be just like all the others.

So do I get a goodbye kiss? She teased me slipping her hands around my waist. She was surprised when I shook my head no.

Not until you take your clothes off, I taunted her nestling my body closer.

You’re so demanding, she gasped.

You, naked, now. I asserted already unzipping her pants.

I’m going to miss you, she whispered hotly in my ear. It was on the tip of my tongue to say, stay. I didn’t. I simply undressed her then myself and made love to her until it was time to take her to the train station. That time I bought her ticket to Florida.

PART EIGHT

1963

We were discovering Peter, Paul & Mary, falling in love with The Beatles, Martin Luther King inspired us with his dream of the future, we used zip codes for the first time and the nation mourned the loss of an icon. It was the same year that for the first time in my life I would mourn the loss of one of my peers. It was in the spring that I heard the news. If only I could turn back the clock to that afternoon and warned Bobby. He never would have broken his leg; instead he would have remained our hero, gone on to LSU, and not be drafted.

He never would have stayed in the military, never ended up in a far off land in a war we didnt understand. But Bobby made his choice and I had to respect his decision. I just wished that it hadnt cost him his life. The Army claiming he died a hero did nothing to comfort his mother or Sandy who, although she never confessed it, was deeply in love with him. Sandy was the one who called me sounding drunk and ready to fall off the deep end. I rushed home after dropping a note in the post office box hoping that Ginny would somehow get it. I was numb while riding the train home and mentally calculating how many years it would be before Sammy was eligible for the draft.

My Dad was sitting in the living room staring off into space. He had the same look on his face that he possessed when he learned that Ginny had lost her brother in Korea. I had no idea the horrors my easy going father had witnessed when I was just a baby, and he would never talk about it. When I saw him like this I understood that there were things that haunted my father. I was going to say something to him. I couldnt. How could I explain to him that I supported our troops, our boys, but I didnt believe in this war?

I slipped away unnoticed ducking into the kitchen. Mom was just staring out the window. Twenty-three, she whispered absently. He was just a baby. She concluded turning to me and wrapping me up in her arms. Sorry, she sniffed when she finally released me. I talked to Mrs. Walford yesterday.

How is she doing? I questioned realizing it was an idiotic question.

Shes a mess, Mom cleared her throat. Parents are not designed to outlive their children. I remember him swinging in that old tire swing your Dad put up. It was just before you kids started second grade. Right out there remember? She asked pointing out the window.

Yeah I remember, I answered with a ghost of smile. I cant believe this. Bobby was the big man on campus and now hes gone.

I called Ginny, Mom explained while looking for something to do.

How? I was taken aback.

She had called a couple weeks ago to wish your Dad a happy birthday, Mom prattled on. She gave me a number where she could be reached. I wasnt sure shed still be there you know how she moves around.

I noticed. I answered in a grim tone.

She was still there, Mom continued. Shes working at some place just outside of Vegas. I thought shed want to know. Didnt she date Bobby?

Yeah she wore his jacket for awhile, I nodded. I dont remember for how long. It really was hard to say how long since she and Laurie were constantly passing it back and forth. Did Ginny mention if she was coming home for the services?

Shes wasnt sure, Mom sighed rubbing her brow. She wanted to pay her respects, but as she put it, she didnt leave too many friends behind.

Its true, I grumbled. Im not sure that the Walfords will be happy seeing me walk in.

She wants you to come and she doesnt have a problem with Ginny, Mom sighed. She told me so herself. She said you should show up driving the Chevy just to show up all those snot nosed punks who ditched Bobby after he got hurt. Ron came home last night. He cant stay long because of school.

I should have hitched a ride with him, I smiled for the first time. It was kind of ironic that both Ron and I ended up in law school. I should call Ron and let him know that Ill pick him up tomorrow. I also need to talk to Sandy and find out how far shes dug herself into the bottle and what kind of bottle. Sadly Sandys entertainment had long ago strayed from just the liquid form.

The phone calls were short. Sandy was a mess and on her way to Smithys bar where some of the old gang was gathering. So I called Ron the second I hung up with her and told him we needed to go get her. He agreed. I grabbed the keys to my Moms Plymouth Valiant and sped off to Rons parents house. Needless to say I am not one of Mr. & Mrs. OKeefes favorite people. There was that whole scandal revolving around Ginny and, apparently, by going to the prom with me Ron had ruined his life. Or it could be that I had dumped him. I never found out which transgression had set them on edge.

We walked into the dingy bar filled with the A list from 1956. Wow Ive had nightmares that started out this way. I confessed as we walked past the hostile glares. I fought against the urge to smack someone. Unlike Ron, Sandy and myself none of these people had even spoken to Bobby since before he was drafted. Now they all acted like we were intruding on a memorial for their friend. I stumbled for a moment remembering that it was only a month ago when Bobby answered my last letter. He said that he was proud of me. I had just finished my internship in San Francisco after turning down a lucrative position at Hilton, Brown & Larson. Even though Ginny had opted to spend her summer in Tucson and Albuquerque my time living in the city by the bay was remarkable. San Francisco was on the brink you could just feel it in the air. I wrote to Bobby telling him everything. I also added that I missed him and he had better get his butt home in one piece. Son of a bitch broke his promise, I snarled just as we discovered Sandy slumped over the bar.

Yes he did, Sandy suddenly jerked her head up. One more tour and thats it. He told me it was the last one. He promised. She sobbed turning her focus towards the gaping crowd. Look at em acting like they give a shit. Staring at us like were the ones who dont belong. Liars all of them.

Now just calm down Sandy, Margie barked. I blinked a couple of times not realizing that it was her at first. The years had not been kind to my former best friend.

No! A man I didnt recognize stepped forward. Shes right. We let Bobby down. These three are the only people who stuck by him. He would have stuck by us no matter what. Now all we can do is say goodbye and for that we should be ashamed.

Groper? I jumped back completely stunned by the man standing before me.

Ellen, he nodded respectfully. With your permission Id like to buy you and Bobbys other real friends a drink. I want to toast him and apologize to him.

Thank you Dirk, I graciously accepted noticing that only half the room agreed with his sentiment.

Dirk? Brent nudged him. Shes one of those.

Really? Dirk seemed surprised. Well that would explain why you never put out. He shrugged. So what would you like to drink Ellen?

Gin and tonic would be fine. I sputtered completely thrown by the changes in his personality.

Ron?

Just a Bud, then I think we should take Sandy home, Ron agreed.

Dirk ordered and paid for our drinks and offered a semi-elegant toast that once again only appeased half the crowd. Then he did the oddest thing; he introduced me to his wife Erin and showed me pictures of his children. My God youre an adult how did that happen? I couldnt help but question.

You met Erin right? He smiled.

Ah the better half, I nodded suddenly understanding. So what is it youve been doing these days? Besides chasing those beautiful kids around.

After the army Ive been working down at Jenkins Garage, he smiled. Im the manager now and Im hoping that someday I can buy old man Jenkins out. I see your Dad down there every now and then picking up parts for the Cherry Mobile. You know what he says to me the first time he saw me working there? He says arent you the jackass that used to date my daughter?

Sounds like Dad, I snickered. So whatd you say?

One of them.

Thanks a lot pal, Ron groaned. I think it is time we split. He whispered placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

Sorry Dirk time to scrape Sandy up off the floor, I apologized grabbing hold of Sandy.

By the time the first wake started Ron and I had managed to make Sandy somewhat presentable. Her mood was still foul. I wasnt looking forward to entering the funeral parlor; seeing the boy I had grown up with laid out in a casket while I offer a feeble Im sorry to his grieving parents. Hello Stewart. I greeted him at the entryway. He was one of the few people I felt wouldnt give us a hard time.

Hi Ellen theres a problem, he confided in a grim tone just as Dirk came out to join us. Ron, Sandy and I looked at one another wondering if one or all three of us were the problem.

You are not going to believe who is in there wailing about how her high school sweetheart is gone. Dirk spat out.

Well, Sandy is with us so it cant be her, I began mentally checking off Bobbys steadies. That leaves Harriet, Susan, and Diane who he got bonus points for because she was a senior and he was just a junior. The moment the words bonus points came out of my mouth I knew who it was.

That just leaves the Swenson Twins, Ron concluded.

Laurie. I fumed my chest tightening at the very thought of being in the same room with her. Cant be Ginny she just heard yesterday and I dont think she could have made it in from the west coast yet. Besides she was never prone to theatrics.

Thank God youre here! Margie bellowed storming out to join us. I pulled her aside and she just wont leave. Poor Mrs. Walford is hysterical. Ellen Im sorry for acting like the jerk of the century back in high school but please you have got to help.

My pleasure. I sneered clenching my fists.

No, Ron stopped me. A fist fight is not what we need.

Sure it is! Sandy urged me on. After what she did to Bobby and her sister? Hell I say we drag the wench into the center of town and stone the bitch.

I agreed with Sandy and I understood Rons point this was the last thing the Walfords needed. If Im not back in five call the cops. I groaned making my way into the building. The smell of lilies made me sick. I stopped by the casket; somehow holding myself together as I said goodbye to Bobby. Then I made my way to his parents ignoring the sobbing blonde in the center of the room determined to hog the spotlight. Im sorry for your loss. I meekly offered surprised when the two of them hugged me. If youll excuse me I think there is something I need to take care of. I offered noting that the others had returned. Dirk and Stewart flanked Lauries side while Ron kept Sandy at bay.

I cant believe shes here much less acting like this. Mrs. Walford choked out. She broke my sons heart and now shes acting like the queen of the ball. She just shook her head before beckoning Sandy to join the family. Ellen, do what you have to do. I dont want that woman here. I just nodded and turned towards my target.

I felt like Moses parting the red sea watching innocent bystanders scattering as I approached Laurie. A moment of your time? I gritted my teeth.

I dont think so, she sniffed. Im far too upset to deal with the likes of you.

I took a deep breath before grasping her elbow. Outside now or Ill make a few announcements that will most definitely blow that Donna Reed act you are going for. I threatened while guiding her out of the room.

That was rude! She had the gall to bark at me once we were outside.

His mother asked me to get rid of you. I hissed.

My God that looks like my old car, she had the nerve to smile when she spotted the Chevy.

It should it belongs to your sister, I spat out.

Shes not? She gasped frantically searching the parking lot.

No, Ginny isnt here, I growled. She was worried about making a bad impression. Oddly enough his mother said that Ginny was more than welcome to come. You, on the other hand, are not.

Wait Daddy sold the cars, she suspiciously countered.

No Daddy sold your car, I mocked her. Really, really fast so no one could do a comparison. Ginny made sure I got her car.

Why? Youre a deviant, she snarled in disgust.

I prefer lesbian, my voice was stone cold as I addressed her. Look no lightening bolts guess God isnt going to strike me down. But you knew I was gay. After all you were the first girl to stick her tongue in my mouth.

You little bitch, she spat at me before she started waving her wedding band in my face. Im a married woman. Im normal who is going to believe you?

You have never been normal, I shook my head mystified by her logic. And if you are what passes for normal these days then thank God Almighty Im not. Now Im going to make another deal with you. If you dont leave right now I will start shouting out every skanky move you pulled on me six years ago. Then Im going to tell everyone here how I can prove it and I can. That was you in Boston and not your sister. Like I said I can prove it. Got it Princess Grace?

What do you mean you can prove it? She had the stupidity to challenge me.

I have witness statements attesting to the fact that the car had a dent in it and the attacker, that would be you, was right handed. I trumped her but good. Her face fell and she was speeding out of the parking lot in her new Mercedes before I had stopped speaking.

My parents walked up just when I was about to go back in. Was that Satan I just saw tearing out of here? Dad asked with disgust.

None other. I groaned while trying to calm myself.

Why was she here? Mom was flabbergasted.

Who knows? I cringed. Look I need to go back in let Bobbys mom know that I got rid of her.

With? Mom gulped.

Not with violence, Mom, I stated taking her by the hand. I was tempted but I just threatened to expose her. Thats all it took.

The preliminary wakes and the funeral that followed was the hardest experience any of us had been through. Prior to that weekend we had only had to face saying goodbye to older relatives. I thought at the time it was a wake up call. It wasnt. When it was time for me to leave I was spent. Not only from dealing with Bobbys sudden death, but from dealing with people who had at one time been my dearest friends. Only a handful seemed not to care about my sexuality the rest, in my humble opinion, could go screw themselves.

Dads driving me back into town, I announced once my bag was packed. I hugged my Mom quickly. Uhm Mom do you think it would be okay if you gave me Ginnys number? I was nervous since Ginny hadnt bothered to relay the information directly to me.

Of course, Moms brow crinkled quickly snatching a slip of paper from the counter and handing it to me. She asked me to give it to you when I spoke to her the other day. She reassured me. Honey when you call her, she slowly began. Her friend can be a little rough around the edges. So dont take her attitude personally.

Oh? I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Is she a close friend?

Not that kind of friend, Mom smiled tucking her fingers under my chin. Ginny met Jo in prison. I think it is safe to say that prison isnt a charm school. Once you get past her gruffness she is very nice.

Dad and I chatted a little during the drive into the city, each of us dancing around the subject of the war. Even with my peers it was a touchy subject. So many thought it was a young mans duty to answer the call. While the rest of us thought that this was not like the wars our fathers and forefathers had fought. It was a turbulent time and we had no idea just how rocky the road ahead truly was.

It took me all of two seconds to drop my bag and check my watch before I started dialing the phone. Yo! A husky voice answered.

Is Ginny there? I cautiously inquired reminding myself of my mothers warning.

Who wants to know? The person I could only assume was the infamous Jo demanded.

Eleanore Roosevelt. My voice was deadpan.

What? She barked once again before I heard her laughing. Oh wait man you must be Gins friend, Ellen. Wow shes told me all about you. Hey sorry to hear about your friend Bobby.

Thank you, Uhm you must be Jo, I politely responded.

None other, she laughed heartily. But dont get the wrong idea. I still drive stick if you know what I mean.

I get your drift, I smirked shaking my head thinking mom was right about Jo. So is Ginny around?

Wow sorry shes pulling a double at the Sevens. Jo grunted.

The Sevens?

Dive ass bar shes cocktailing in, Jo grumbled. What can you do right? If youre gonna be up Ill have her call you?

Ill be up and thanks Jo.

I paced the floor all night before finally giving up and falling asleep around four in the morning. I jumped out of bed when the phone rang just before eight. Hello? I croaked.

Hey sorry, Ginnys voice finally greeted me. I didnt mean to call so late. What time is it there?

Almost time for me to hit the shower and drag my sorry ass to my first class, I grunted.

Maybe I should call back later?

No, I blurted out shaking my head in an effort to wake up. I need to hear your voice.

Same here, her sultry voice lured me in. I cant believe that Bobby is gone. Why was he still in the service?

He decided thats where he wanted to be, I sighed twirling the phone cord between my fingers.

How did it go? Or is that an asinine question?

Sucked, especially when your sister showed up, I bitched.

She … She what? Ginny stammered. Tell me she didnt make it about her?

Wish I could, I coldly grunted. Dont worry I kicked her to the curb. Metaphorically speaking of course. Some of the old gang was cool. The rest kept there distance. They must think homosexuality is contagious. Oddly enough one of the nice ones was Dirk.

The Groper, Dirk the jerk your old boyfriend? She gasped.

I know go figure, I laughed. Hes like all grown up complete with a wife whos a doll and a pack of kids. He even announced to the whole gang that I never put out in high school.

Yes you did. She purred.

Only with you. I shivered from the lurid tone in her voice.

So I was thinking, she continued to toy with me. Your folks wanted to know if I was coming home for my birthday next month. Ive about had it with being a cocktail waitress.

Good call. I encouraged my heart skipping a beat.

So how about I pack my trusty duffle bag and head out to the highway; stick out my thumb and start heading your way? She suggested much to my delight.

Or I could send you a ticket and you could take the train? I eagerly suggested.

No, she flatly refused. Ill get there as soon as I can.

See you soon. I whispered.

That you will. She promised.

She ended up arriving just before her birthday. She spent a couple of nights keeping me warm in bed before we spent time with my parents. She stayed with my parents for another week while I returned to school. Then she swung back into Boston until I was just about ready to start my summer internship and then she was on her way. I was not sure where she was really heading that time, but she said something about New Orleans. I did what I always did. I made love to her the night before she left like it was the last time because someday it would be and then in the morning I put her on a train.

Uncertain of when or if Id ever see her again I went on as before, working, studying and the occasional date. Id hear from her now and then. I always felt relieved when I did. I worried constantly that something might happen to her.

It was a few nights just after Halloween when I walked into my humble little studio and discovered Ginny lounging on my mattress scarfing down Jiffy Pop while laughing hysterically to the Flintstones. Youre late. She chastised me.

Sorry dear the meeting ran late, I laughed shrugging out of my coat. Late class and a study group which I would have cancelled had I known I was missing so much fun. I just shook my head unable to believe how enrapt she was with a cartoon show.

This is great what is it?

A cartoon version of the Honeymooners, I sighed. Youve traveled to every nook and cranny this great country has to offer and youve never seen the Flintstones?

Did you know that this tasty treat that is as much fun to make as it is to eat was the only thing remotely edible in your home? She glared at me.

Again didnt know I had company. I smiled climbing onto the mattress snatching the tin from her. That was going to be my dinner.

Thats sad. She wagged her finger at me. I guess I need to take you out to dinner. And no I didnt drop in on my parents; I just saved my wages from my last couple of gigs.

What have you been doing besides slinging drinks? I tried to be polite but I worried. I didnt want to worry she was after all a grown woman.

Lets just say nothing illegal other than that I dont want to talk about it, she grumbled.

So, how long are you staying? I hated the question mostly because I never liked the answer.

Well the last time I talked to your Dad he said I had to get my ass back home for the holidays, she surmised. So Im assuming that Im here for the holidays.

Groovy! I beamed. Look Im exhausted would you mind ordering in?

No prob, she nodded. Uhm, but before I do my turn to ask the snotty question. Whose side of the bed am I sleeping on?

Yours, I asserted with a wry smile. Trust me it has been vacant for awhile now. I need to take a shower. Theres a menu for Wongs stuck to the fridge pick out whatever you want and have it delivered.

Well that explains the moldy food cartons stacked in the ice box, she muttered under her breath as I stepped into the shower.

I could hear her ordering the food while I stepped into the shower. Secretly I hoped that she would join me. You know, she called out from the other room. When you said the menu was stuck to the fridge I had assumed that there would be a magnet involved. Do I want to know how it was able to just hang there?

Tape you spaz, I shouted in return. Just answer the door when the food arrives. I think Dobie Gillis is on next you should like that.

Hey Ive seen that show and I do like it, Ginny shouted back. They let us watch it in prison.

Im surprised there wasnt a riot. I groused under my breath.

What was that? She teased.

Nothing. I quickly retreated trying to picture her, Jo and the rest of the inmates sitting around regaling in the adventures of Dobie Gillis. The picture finally formed and it was nothing short of ridiculous.

When I finally emerged the food had arrived and she was watching the Untouchables. Your parents had the only color television in town, I dryly began crawling up next to her so I could get at the food. I dont recall you ever watching it.

I didnt. She shrugged handing me a fork. We werent really allowed to it was just for show.

Ah another family secret revealed, I teased picking at my food.

Yeah thats my family tree shake it hard enough and all the nuts fall out, she sighed. Silly when you think about it. We had a color television that we werent allowed to watch not that it mattered since there werent too many shows broadcast in color. Still arent.

Hey we barely had a television, I elbowed her. Dibs on the egg roll.

You still barely have a television, she jested nodding towards the wavering screen on my aging little TV. And dont sweat it the egg roll is all yours.

Should I invest in a color set for when you visit? I played along wondering why it was she hadnt kissed me yet.

It would be nice, she pouted as I studied her. What? She dryly questioned meeting my gaze. Shall I guess?

Give it a shot, I challenged her.

Youre wondering why I havent kissed you, she correctly deduced. Why I havent tried to slip that robe off of your naked body?

Well I have a theory, I cleared my throat setting my food aside. Since you stopped by here first and not my parents I can only assume that you are single. Ive told you that Im not involved so the only reasonable explanation is that Robert Stack is a hell of a lot sexier than I am.

Never, she stressed snatching a fortune cookie from the bag. Truth?

Always.

Ive been traveling for three days straight, she turned to me with a weary smile. I havent slept or eaten the whole time. If I kiss you it will lead to more and Im terrified that Ill fall asleep on you. The spirit is willing but the body is weak.

Three days! I practically shouted. Keep eating and then you are taking a long hot bath. Then straight to bed and sleep. Ill wake you in time for Thanksgiving. Im serious. I cut off her objection. Look I know you hate being told what to do, but you need to start taking care of yourself and if you wont then I will. Or I could call my mom Im sure shell be more than happy to,

No, she cut me off holding up a carton of lo mien. Ill be good. See Im eating.

Good. I huffed shoving another carton in her direction.

Ellen, she seemed shy all of sudden. I also wanted you to know that I dont stay with you just because of the sex.

I should hope not. I scolded her.

Im serious, I like spending time with you. She tried to make me understand.

Back at ya, I smiled. Granted it wasnt an undying declaration of love but it was nice to hear. Now eat.

It turned out Ginny was just exhausted by missing a few meals and not sleeping for a couple of days. It was more like missing most meals and not sleeping at all. She was run down and had a nasty touch of the flu. The misguided fool thought she was going to leave when she realized she was sick. It hit the fan when I returned from class one afternoon and found her struggling to pack her duffle bag.

Are you insane? I bellowed snatching the bag from her. Thankfully she was too weak to fight. Youre sick.

I know and that is why I should leave, she tried to reason.

Where? I gaped at her.

Ill crash at a motel, she tried to defy me.

Ginny if I was sick what would you do? I laid my trap while pushing her back into bed.

Thats not the point. She groaned.

Oh but it is.

Id take care of you, she barely managed to utter. This is different.

How? I baited her.

I dont want you to catch whatever cooties I have, she blurted out. You cant afford to get sick.

Dont flip your wig! I scolded her. Weve been sharing the same bed for a couple a days now. Ive already been exposed to your germs. Its too late. Im going to get whatever you have or I wont. By the way you have the flu not the plague.

I dont seem to recall you being such a bad ass, she sniffed pulling the covers tighter around her body.

You take a girls virginity and shes bound to get snippy with you every now and then, I reasoned. Oh by the way while Im in class tomorrow Moms stopping by with soup and to check on you. Dont worry she has a key so shell just let herself in.

Your mother has a key? She gasped horrified by the information. That would have been really good to know all of those times we got naked together.

Normally she calls first, I chuckled noticing that her complexion had turned even paler. But knowing that it will be just you, sick in bed with clothes on she is comfortable letting herself in. Like she says there is knowing and there is knowing.

Where does she think I sleep when I stay here?

She doesnt think about it, I laughed. The same way my Dad refused to consider sending me to a co-ed college because of the special friendship I had with you. That was Moms idea after she realized it wasnt a phase. Now are you finished with your attempt to break out of here? She just nodded her head weakly. Good go to sleep. I have to study.

I blinked my eyes several times the apartment seemed different. There was a brightness to it and an unfamiliar scent. Something is out of whack, I muttered glaring at my companion who was nestled beneath the covers happily watching television.

Confused? Ginny messed with me. Your pad is clean. She beamed.

Climb it, Tarzan, I snarled ready to flip her the bird when I spied my mother kneeling in front of my tiny ice box.

Eleanore you werent going to make an obscene gesture now were you? Mom grilled me without even turning around.

How does she do that? I questioned not for the first time in my life still wondering if mothers grow an extra set of eyes in the back of their heads when they give birth. Why are you cleaning my refrigerator?

Because it is or was, as you kids put it, raunchy, Mom growled with disgust snapping off the Playtex gloves she was wearing. She released a sigh as she climbed to her feet.

She cleaned the bathroom, did the laundry including the sheets, Ginny eagerly informed me. You should be jazzed. The floor is so clean you could eat off it.

Hey this place was just groovy before I went to class today, I tried to defend my more than candy ass attitude towards housework. It was true keeping up with the dusting and other stuff just wasnt my bag. But the place wasnt a pig sty either.

Eleanore, Mom bugged out on me. Ginny is sick. Now I dont think that it unreasonable for me to clean up a little. I understand that you get busy and forget to wash the floor among other things. Now come here and let me take your temperature?

Shes talking to you. Ginny gloated.

Im not sick, I argued allowing my mother to take me by the hand and shove a thermometer is my mouth. I stood there looking like a complete ditz while she even took my pulse. I sighed dramatically trying to keep the thermometer steady while Mom checked her watch. I think it was the smug look on Ginnys face that was really ticking me off. Mom finally removed the thermometer from my mouth checked it carefully before shaking it. I stood there enduring further embarrassment as she kissed my forehead.

So whats the verdict Dr. Kildare? I grunted still ready to throttle my kiss up of a friend who seemed to be relishing my torture.

Just as I suspected, youre fine. Mom concluded while I groaned.

I told you that. I snarled.

Listen Miss Sassy mouth, Mom cut me down to size. Youve been sleeping next to someone who is sick. I mean near someone, oh the heck with it. You know what I mean. Thanksgiving is coming up and I wanted to make sure that the both of you were going to be able to enjoy your dinner. Especially now that youve given up all that no meat nonsense.

So why isnt she sick? Ginny demanded.

Because you probably already had a full blown case of the flu before you got here, Mom chastised her wagging her finger at her. You just refused to give in until you crashed. I stuck my tongue out at Ginny while my mom scolded her. Now you, she spun around getting me in the act. Take the trash out and then I have a list to go over with you.

A list? I blanched.

Just a few suggestions to keep the both of you healthy, Mom tsked. Now if it makes you feel better the first item on the list is that Virginia is grounded. No ifs, ands or buts.

Ma? Ginny fussed.

It is only for a couple of weeks, Mom sighed. If either of you has so much as a case of the sniffles when Pops picks you up the night before Thanksgiving Im locking the both of you in your rooms. That ought to keep you from swapping spit.

Oh that would explain item two, I smirked scanning the lengthy list. No, you know what.

No, you know what? Ginny echoed shaking her head.

Thats what it says! I laughed holding up the list.

You know what it means and for the time being it is off limits. Mom groaned rubbing her throbbing temple.

Chill Eleanore, Ginny cautioned me with a wry smirk just as I was about to ask Mom to clarify her meaning. Let it slide. Your Mom has worked her tail off today.

I swear youre trying to kill me, Mom whimpered. At times like this I wish the both of you got into Stanford.

Sorry I didnt get into Stanford Mom, I sighed thinking I wouldnt have gone even if I had since Ginny wasnt available. Only Smith and Penn State accepted me. Then I paused turning my attention back towards Ginny. You got accepted to Stanford?

She was accepted by all the schools she applied to, Mom shrugged like it was no big deal.

Yeah, Ginny confirmed with a sad look in her eyes. By the time the mail caught up with me in Girls Town my acceptance letters arrived along with the letters from all four schools rescinding their offers.

Stanford, Berkeley and UCLA nope that makes three. I mentally counted off startled when my mother shoved two heavy trash bags in my hand.

Take the trash out. She insisted walking me to the door.

I know the way, I sighed once we had stepped into the hallway.

Smith. Her voice trembled as she answered my unspoken question. You better get those down to the dumpster before you attract bugs. I just nodded mutely trying to digest what she had confided in me.

My mind was reeling as I made my way down the back staircase. Against her domineering sisters wishes Ginny had applied to the one school I wanted to attend. Not only that she got in. I couldnt help wondering just how different our lives would be if Laurie hadnt screwed everything up?

Mom puttered about for a bit longer before saying her goodbyes.

Your Mom is great, Ginny confided later that night when we were curled up in bed watching television.

She really is. I concurred thinking that in the Mom department I really scored.

Bit of a blabber mouth, Ginny pursed her lips. So are you going to ask what the fourth school was? I saw the wheels spinning in that overactive mind of yours.

None of my business, I shrugged. I just assumed it was UCSF or maybe San Diego.

You lie like a rug. She gaped at me. She told you?

I didnt know you had applied, I whispered.

Yeah no biggie, she grunted turning her attention back towards the television. I filled out the application, wrote an essay and maybe went for an interview. You know your TV really sucks. I only get to watch TV when I visit you. She threw out pretending that the rest of the conversation hadnt happened.

If it was no big deal then why didnt you tell me? I pushed.

Because I decided to go to another all girls school, the state pen. She tried to joke. I ignored her feeble attempt at humor. Think about it, she finally sighed heavily. If we ended up at the same school it could have been a disaster. We were a couple of kids back then. What did we know?

We could have roomed together, I finally gave in. I probably would have enjoyed sharing space with you a lot more than the chick I ended up with.

Didnt you end up going out with her?

Right, I nodded with a slight grimace.

Did it end badly? Ginnys voice seemed uneasy. It was the first time we had delved this deeply into the others romantic life. Normally it was limited to her name is.

It wasnt a bad ending, I tried to explain blushing slightly recalling the unique twist that had finally broken Connie and me up. It just took far too long to get there. Never a good sign when you suddenly decide to have an open relationship.

Open? How open? She inhaled sharply.

Uhm, I was flustered this was certainly a conversation I never expected to be having. It had been shocking enough that afternoon when my sainted mother actually told us we couldnt swap spit. Well, I dragged my feet clearing my throat several times. There was this poetry reading.

How very beatnik of you. She droned nudging me gently. So a little poetry and then?

Then we invited two friends back to our room. They werent a couple but they were familiar with the concept. Then I suggested having a little wine and I suggested a game of spin the bottle, I gulped. Connie and I seemed to spin away from one anothers direction. A little kissing led to more wine and more kissing. Which led to this time I want you to kiss me this way or it would be more fun without your shirt on. It kind of escalated from there. It was different. I concluded while Ginny just stared at me. Blair freaked the next day. Tina and Connie ended up dating for awhile. I started dating Carrie and put it behind me. Please say something?

Im stunned, she finally stammered. Things like that only happened in the joint if you were someones bitch.

Everyone was consenting. I tried to reason. It was a lark. But it did put the final nail in our relationships coffin. Face it if all is right with your relationship chances are you wont happily sit back and watch your girl go at it with two other women.

Youd be surprised how many people think that is romantic, she scoffed.

Do you? I shrank back.

No, she firmly denied. Call me old fashioned.

Do you think less of me? I timidly asked picking at the blanket.

No, she hesitated. Im just surprised. Hearing something like that from you is kind of like hearing Gidget reading aloud from Lady Chatterlys Lover.

What? I flared yanking back the covers and jumping off the mattress. Do I look like Sandra Dee to you? Is that the real reason youve been keeping your distance? Im what like a kid sister to you? There was a time when all you wanted,

Stop! She demanded struggling to catch her breath. This has gotten way to funky. For the record I thought you were the hottest thing since sliced bread the first time I laid my eyes on you. I still think that. Back in the day when our hormones did our thinking for us I always treated you like a lady. Why would I treat you differently now that were adults? Just so you know the first fight I got into at reform school was over a picture I had hanging over my bed. It was of you in your little rah-rah outfit and this chick made a crass comment. I decked her sorry ass. After that I kept it under my pillow. Wanna know why I kept it so close? At night I use to entertain myself while looking at it.

You did? I blushed as the image leapt into my mind.

It was a hobby I began long before we started hanging out together, she mumbled turning shyly away.

I seem to recall discussing this with you back then, I wiggled my brow suggestively.

Look the point is, she huffed turning back to face me. You were hot then and you still are. The only reason Im playing hands off is because I feel like crap. Am I shocked hearing about your sexual exploits? Yes, but that doesnt mean I think less of you.

I just stood there weighing her words still not completely convinced that I hadnt in some way let her down. Fine, she wearily expressed patting the bed. Tit for tat. Probably around the same time you were playing spin the bottle I willingly allowed another inmate to tie me up while I gave her cellmate a tongue lashing.

You what? I was floored. Then I just nodded my head. I get it. Coming from anyone else I would have found that tidbit of information tantalizing coming from you I feel, my words trailed off. I wanted to say it hurt and I felt betrayed. But I had no right to feel those things. Not only we were no longer together; I was with someone else. I feel like I read my mothers diary. We shouldnt have gone down this path.

No and we wont again, she agreed as I finally sat down beside her. Face it we have too much history to be swapping war stories. My fault Im the one who brought it up. I thought you were going to tell me that you started dating someone else. I felt a little blindside by the details. Ellen when Im with you I dont want to think of where youve been or who youve been keeping company with. Sometimes I think I am pretending there hasnt been anyone else for either of us.

Me too. I confessed.

Can I ask you one more thing? Her tone was very serious.

Sure since this last round of twenty questions has been such a blast why not? I agreed.

You dont happen to still have your cheerleading outfit do you?

I think it is in my folks attic, I answered confused as to why she wanted to know. Why? Then it hit me. You are so twisted. I laughed before tickling her furiously. When we started laughing and rolling around I finally felt the tension washing away. I reluctantly pulled away when she started coughing.

Sorry, she hacked.

I cant believe you, I patted her back.

What that we ended up having a spat because I never told you that I tried to get into the same college? She coughed furiously. Damn I cant wait to feel better.

Not the spat you spaz, I glared over at her. Did you really get off to my picture?

Yes, she confirmed taking a slow breath. When I was sixteen it was a nightly ritual. Hey dont give me that look you have no idea the trouble I went through to get that picture. Hold on grab my bag?

I couldnt help the blush that covered my entire body as I reached for her bag. I was thrown off kilter when I picked it up without realizing that it was almost empty. She caught me easily and wrapped her arms around my waist before taking the bag from me. Your Mom did our laundry too. She explained searching through the worn duffle bag. Here you go. She announced handing me a faded photo of myself waving my pom-poms.

Do I want to touch this? I teased her. I have never seen this picture before.

You remember Leo Richmond?

Shutterbug? The guy who took all the pictures of the pep squad and players for the yearbooks, I answered.

I had to go out with him, she grimly explained snatching the photo from my grasp. Longest date of my life. But he had a major crush on you and I knew hed have a spare snapshot tucked away somewhere.

Okay this is one date I simply must ask you about, I laughed curling under the covers.

First he had the nerve to suggest the passion pit, she griped. I never went to the drive-in with a guy I wasnt going to start with the zit king. I said no way. So we had to go to the movies and he tries to put the moves on me during The Seven Year Itch. Little creep; I still have no idea what happened in that flick. I figured what the heck. Well go hell feel good and I get to watch Marilyn Monroe plus I get a picture of you. Nope. Groper had more manners. I was still fighting him off when the lights came up. So being the genius that I am I figure its over. I get my picture and he gets to tell people he scored a date with one of the twins. Wrong again. Whats a movie without catching a burger afterward? I tried to convince the little skuzzy bucket to just drive me home or to go anywhere but Buddys.

I was laughing so hard the tears were streaming down my face. Oh come on, I laughed even harder. He had to show you off. Who was going to believe him if the two of you werent seen together?

I thought I had covered my bases, she sighed bitterly. I didnt have the Cherry Mobile yet so we had to take his car and I insisted on a flick that was playing out of town.

He had a car? For the life of me I couldnt recall ever seeing him drive.

Not really it was his uncles truck, she shuddered. The thing was a bucket of bolts that I was certain was going to die half way across town. No such luck.

Hold on, I interrupted. No way. If you ended up at Buddys with Shutterbug it would have been all over town.

Yes it would have been if not for a minor miracle, she gleamed. I insisted that we park out front but off to the side. I figure Im dead, my rep is totally shot to hell when who comes strutting over but Max Pancetta. Everyones favorite fullback and a senior. Max is all cool saying, hey I hear you were looking for me? I wasnt, but he and whats her name just split so I knew Laurie was gunning for him. It was a crummy thing to do but I said sure Ive been looking for you. Max tells Leo to take a hike. Now in my defense I was on a date with Leo and was just about to tell Max Id catch him later when Leo whimped out and says sure thing. Cant blame him, Max didnt have a neck and was built like a brick wall. I asked if I could still have the picture. I figured it would be his right to say no since I was ditching him in the middle of our date. Max gave him a look and your picture was in my purse. End of story.

Almost, I was still laughing. Uhm first whats her name was Peggy; they were steadies all through high school except that one semester when you were wearing his jacket. Right up until the Winter Ball if I remember correctly.

In the middle of the Winter Ball, Ginny groused. Peggy cut in on us and by the time the song was over he wanted his jacket back. Very embarrassing. Whatever happened to them?

Hes an insurance salesman in Ohio, I think, and he and Peggy have five maybe six kids, I gleefully informed her.

I still cant believe it took her that long to break us up, Ginny sneered. It wasnt like I didnt give her plenty of chances.

When exactly did you tell Max that you werent Laurie?

Half way through our first milkshake. She shrugged.

It feels like another lifetime ago, I quietly theorized. Were things really simpler back then or did we just not take notice. In high school I thought I was grown up. Then in college I realized that I wasnt. Maybe it was because in class I wasnt simply asked to regurgitate what I was told. For the first time I was being ask to think for myself. It made spending time at home dreadful.

I felt like that when I got out, Ginny agreed. After spending most of my life doing what my parents and sister told me to do, I was sent off to a world where I couldnt even go to the bathroom without being told to do so. It took a long time to shake the feeling that I had to ask permission to wipe my nose. I had to take baby steps to find my path, Im still doing it. The first step when I walked out and there you were asking me where we should go? I had no idea; I still felt that I wasnt entitled to make that decision. A little while later I was in your arms and for a brief moment I felt free. Then I felt myself slipping back. Each time I started to slip back there you were telling me I was free. But Im not, not really. About a month ago some friends were heading down to Mexico just for laughs. I went along for the trip. I wasnt permitted to cross the boarder. I sent my friends on their way and hitched my way up to LA. I tried to find work. I kept hitting the same wall. The same reason I wasnt permitted to go on a joy ride to Tijuana kept me unemployed. Sorry Miss Swenson youre a convicted felon. I dont want to get all morose again. She abruptly ended the conversation.

So is that picture safe in your hands? I questioned desperately trying to lighten the mood.

No. She grinned.

Are you sure that youre up for that? I taunted picking up my mothers lengthy list of dos and donts. Well self gratification isnt mentioned. Still you are still quite weak; you might need assistance?

Why Miss Druette you arent looking for a peep show now are you? She teased me doing the best Scarlet OHara imitation she could manage.

Are you up for the challenge, I teased slipping my hand beneath her nightshirt. The clammy feel and pallor of her flesh filled me with regret. Rain check? I offered withdrawing my hand.

Scouts honor. She pledged nestling closer to my body.

I threw myself into my studies over the next week. I needed to get my work done and the temptations waiting for me at home were maddening. Ginny was recovering nicely; I wasnt in a hurry for her to reach a complete recovery. Oh I wanted her to regain the spring in her step so we could really enjoy our time together. The terse conversation we had fallen into that night had sent me into a bit of a tailspin.

Snuggling in her arms night after night hadnt only ignited my baser instincts it reminded me of what I had found so endearing about Ginny in the first place. My heart swelled each time I thought of her. I was scrapping together my meager savings searching for the perfect Christmas gift to give her. It was time to tell her; to show her that I wanted more from her than the occasional drive by. I was hoping she would finally unpack her duffle bag for good and stay.

She had given me so much, brought so many things to my world. Now I wanted to offer that world to her, to share my life with her, and craving that she wanted to share her life with me. It frightened me that she may not want feel for me what I so obliviously felt for her. It was a risk that I was finally ready to take. If she said no I was prepared for the pain and willing to set her free. If she said yes I was going to drag Mom out and find a bigger place the cost be damned.

I was turning the corner heading up the steep slope that lead to the narrow street I called home when I spotted her. The little devil had snuck out. It was childish, but I couldnt resist the impish urge to sneak up on her. I knelt down packing a wad of snow in my hand. Stealthy I approached her plotting just how I was going to get the slushy mass down her jacket. I licked my lips so close that I could almost touch her. She spun around and shouted, Boo! I yelped loosing my footing on the ice and went crashing down on the icy cobble stoned sidewalk.

Son of bitch, I groaned looking down at the bandage on my ankle. When I felt like I managed to do some damage Ginny rushed me to the hospital practically carrying me there. It took an eternity for me to be seen. When the x-rays came back it was confirmed that I had a sprained ankle. Ginny blamed herself, apologizing up and down during the cab ride back to my apartment. Getting up the staircase was a real treat once again Ginny practically carried me.

I was banished to bed rest for the duration. Im sorry. Ginny apologized again.

It was your fault, I tried to comfort her. Im cussing because you just got better now Im a gimp.

Youre not a gimp, she stifled a chuckle. A little bed rest wont kill you. Youve already taken your finals. We dont have anywhere to be until Thanksgiving. And if you behave youll be back in the saddle in no time.

Despite her overwhelming sense of reasoning I still pouted. The following day we snuggled in bed reading books and watching television. Ill never forget that day. Snuggled up in bed, Ginny was trying to steal my crossword puzzle. Neither one of us were really paying attention to the television until Walter Cronkite came on the air. It was November 22nd and I felt like the world had come to a screeching halt. John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the thirty-fifth President of the United States, was shot at 12:30pm in Dallas. I can still remember the tears in Mr. Cronkites eyes when he announced that the President had died.

What I hadnt realized then was that the events that would follow drove a bigger wedge between my generation and those that had come before us. At that moment I was caught up in the wave of sadness. Ours was a nation in mourning. Later we would question the myth of Camelot. That day Ginny and I clung to one another just as we had done the year before. We rarely left the comfort of my bed.

Thanksgiving was grim that year not just for our family but for all American families. As solemn as Dad was he did try to brighten up the day. He kept calling me Skippy, which tickled Sammy to no end. Tell me again how you did that? Dad laughed.

Oh come on, I pleaded. I told you I was trying to shove snow down Ginnys back and I fell. Satisfied?

Why? Mom shook her head. The girl just got over being sick.

I thought it would be funny, I grunted. Till she turned around and scared me.

And what were you doing out of bed? Mom turned her wrath on Ginny.

Uh Oh. Ginny gulped turning towards my dad for help. He just held up his hands informing her that she was on her own. So, Sam I hear youve been taking the Chevy out.

Dads given me a couple of driving lessons, Sammy brightly beamed. He was so grown up and yet thankfully still a kid. He said if it is okay with you I can take my test with it.

Not my car, she nodded with a bright smile letting him know it would be more than okay if he got his drivers license with her old set of wheels.

Speaking of which what happened to that van you told me about? Dad asked.

Made it almost halfway through Route 66, Ginny groaned. She died just outside of Tulsa. I sold her for parts.

Then how did you get here? Mom keenly picked up.

Uhm, bus, Ginny tried to lie cringing as the words escaped her lips.

Try again, Mom scolded her. Virginia weve asked you not to do that.

You hitched? Dad fussed. Next time call, we can wire you the money to come home.

I cant, she tried to argue.

Ginny these days the President isnt safe, Dad sternly cautioned her. Hitch hiking is dangerous. You never know whose car youre getting into. Dads face turned grim. Damn I swore I wasnt going to talk about that today.

How can you not? I sighed picking at my food. Its all anyone can talk about. We were lying in; I mean I was lying in bed whining about my ankle when we saw the news.

Nice save, Mom muttered under her breath while dear old Dads face turned completely blank. Eleanore help me clean up. We have tons of desserts. She blurted out in a cheerful tone. I knew that tone it meant were going to pretend that nothing was wrong and everyone was going to be happy, damn it.

I got up and pretended to help mom clear away the barely touched food. I knew she didnt want me to help. I was on crutches for goodness sake. Nope I was in for a lecture I just was a little uncertain which of my transgressions I was about to be called on the carpet for. I wobbled as we stacked the dishes washing and drying before preparing the multitude of pies, cookies and assortment of pastries mom had baked. Baking thats all Ive done this week, she answered my unspoken question. I couldnt stand watching it over and over again.

I dont know what I would have done if I was alone, I absently whispered.

Speaking of which, Moms lips curled. Didnt you read my list? Seems like you didnt do a gosh darn thing on it.

We did, I smirked. More or less.

Less than more, she groaned waving for me to sit down. Is she staying?

I doubt it.

I dont understand, Mom suddenly halted her movements. Why not? A couple of years ago fine. She just got out. Your father was like that when he first got home from the war. We were like strangers. Eventually we worked things out.

Wow, I shook my head. I couldnt believe she had just compared what Ginny and I shared to what she and my father shared. You are really hip sometimes.

Shes always been hip, Ginny interrupted carrying the last of the dishes into the kitchen. Except asking her crippled daughter to help with the chores. What did you do? She directed towards me.

Nothing, I scowled as Mom hugged Ginny. See you are the favorite.

Thats because she was fully grown when we got her, Mom beamed patting Ginny on the chest. Come lets get this out there. Your grandmother is coming over.

Oh crap, I grumbled. All of us grimaced. You know how most Grandmas are so sweet and spoil the kids rotten. Neither of my grandmothers fit the bill. Im sure it was because Mom was so young when she got married. Both of my parents mothers thought it was a bad match. Since Sammy and I were a product of that union they really didnt care for us either. All of us hoped that some day the hatchet would be buried preferably not in someones head. We already lost Dads mother who remained bitter to the end. Moms mother was determined to follow in her footsteps. As much as she disliked visiting she did it every chance she got. Suffice it to say when Ginny entered our little family it just added grist to the mill.

Uhm Ma I think my flu is coming back. I really should lie down, Ginny blurted out adding a little cough to help her cause.

Not a chance, Missy, Mom shushed her.

But shes not my Grandma, Ginny whined. I visited all of my grandparents at the cemetery just before I got to Ellens.

Look I need back up, Mom narrowed her eyes at the both of us. No way Im facing that battle axe alone. Your Dad is just going to hide in the den with your Uncle Ben. Now well get through this together. Hopefully she wont say something completely asinine or hurtful. Then after shes gone we can raid the liquor cabinet.

Grams visit went pretty much as suspected. The men hid in the den and we sat waiting ever so patiently for my dear loving Grandmother to utter something completely insane. She did and we held our tongues. Easy for Ginny, I think since the old lady opted to ignore her. Mom and I had been masters at ducking and covering whenever she tossed out one of her senseless barbs. The dear old thing was thoroughly amused even if no one else got the joke. Finally she tired and bellowed for Uncle Ben to drive her home.

I was exhausted by the time I went to bed that night. Ginny helped me up the stairs and even tucked me in. I was going to stay with the folks, she softly explained smoothing out the blankets. But Id feel better if I was around to help you.

If you want to visit with Mom and Dad, I yawned.

No, Im worried about you trying to get around on crutches. She firmly cut me off. The sidewalks are still icy. You could fall again.

Okay, I smiled raising my hand and cupping her face. My smile grew brighter when she leaned into my touch. Just so you know Im only agreeing because Id miss you.

She came home with me. Helped me get to my classes and generally doted on me. She stayed on until Christmas which we spent at my parents. Once I was on my feet again she quickly grew restless. She started complaining about the cold and then she was off again. This time she decided to catch the first train not really caring where it was heading.

PART NINE

1964

This was the year that a Mississippi jury failed to reach a verdict in the case of Mississippi vs. Bryon De La Beckwith for the murder of Medgar Evers. Barry Goldwater ran for president, Jack Ruby was convicted for murdering Lee Harvey Oswald, Black and Puerto Rican students boycotted school in New York protesting racial segregation and the US Attorney General announced that smoking was bad for us. The Beatles ruled the charts and the first Ford Mustang rolled off the assembly line. Ford and the Beatles weren’t the only ones having a good year. I graduated from Harvard Law with honors. I still don’t know what excited Dad more the new Mustang or my academic success. Oh and Dad hated the Beatles, not so much their music but the long hair had to go. Hey he owned a barber shop.

Before the Mustang or my laurels arrived there were many hurdles to face that year. It was an exciting time to be a law student. The Warner Commission alone sparked more than a few debates. And for me I was still waging my own private war to clear an innocent woman’s name. Thankfully Professor Larson had been serious when he volunteered his help. He became just as devoted to the case as I was helping me with every twist and turn.

“Spencer,” I greeted Professor Larson’s niece with a smile. Spencer was really nice, a wee bit older than myself and had recently become a licensed private investigator. She worked very hard to become one of the few women in the Commonwealth to do so which might explain why none of reputable firms were interested in hiring her. Hanging out her own shingle failed as well. She ended up working for a less than a reputable man who specialized in matrimonial investigations. When Professor Larson suggested that Spencer come on board and work on Ginny’s case both of us jumped at the chance.

Now before you get the wrong impression it is true Spencer is an attractive woman. A tomboy at heart and, as Ginny’s mate Jo put it, liked to drive stick. I liked Spencer because she was bright, intelligent and very good at what she did. My ankle was better and Ginny decided to spend some time with my parents.

So when Spencer asked to meet with me and Professor Larson it was a welcome distraction. I met the two of them in his office. He was chomping at the bit. Spencer had made him wait until I arrived before revealing what she had discovered.

“Thank goodness you’re here,” Professor Larson blew out in exasperation. “This little stinker wouldn’t tell me a thing until you got here.”

“He’s like a big kid,” she scoffed as I shed my coat and joined them. “First, I have to ask how in the hell did this girl end up in prison? Never mind I think I know,” she grumbled opening a thick file. “I just don’t understand why anyone would devote so much time and effort screwing over some teenager. Recent events have worked in our favor. People have let their guard down or they feel a sudden sense of correcting injustices. I have a complete dossier on Virginia Woolf Swenson’s incarceration. Every infraction, every job, cellmate and every time she went to the bathroom. Shall I begin? On December 21st, 1956 Virginia Swenson began her internment at Cold Fields Reformatory School for Young Girls, not a hellhole but not one of your finer correctional facilities either. By order of the court she wasn’t permitted to have visitors under the age of twenty-one. She also wasn’t permitted to be alone with another girl at anytime. She was housed with three other girls, Wanda Cravats, Geraldine Winters and Trudy Myers. All repeat offenders serving time for petty theft and other minor offenses. During her time there Virginia was a model prisoner. Since she had earned her high school diploma she spent her time there tutoring her fellow inmates. More than one credits her for their education. Her visitors log has only four names. Samuel and Doris Druette, who visited her on numerous occasions; Howard Walford, although I have information that it was really Robert Walford, a classmate from Buchanan High, who visited twice and one visit from Margaret Wellington Swenson.”

“Her mother?” I interrupted.

“One visit on December 27th of that year,” Spencer continued. “Mrs. Swenson signed in at ten twenty-seven and signed out at ten thirty-five that morning. She never went back. The visit must not have gone well. The matrons have no idea what happened only that Virginia was so upset by the visit she had to be confined to solitary confinement for a period of eight days. Your parents were present during the visit so they know what happened. After her confinement she went back to being a model prison. Her only visitors were your parents. On May 18th, 1957 Virginia’s eighteenth birthday she was transferred to The Woman’s Correctional Facility at Framingham. Now it gets interesting. Included in her file was the court order that no one under the age of twenty-one be permitted to contact her and a list of names of people who weren’t permitted to have any verbal or physical contact with her even after they turned twenty-one. In no particular order, Laura Samantha Swenson, Hilary Bradford Cabot, William Quincy Tracy and Eleanore Roosevelt Druette. Hilary and William never made any attempt to contact her. I talked to Billy; he had no idea that she was in prison. They knew one another from Harrington Prep where Virginia was a student for two years. Hilary doesn’t wish to speak to anyone about the matter. Given the social circle she runs in I barely got near the lady. The second I mentioned Virginia the conversation was over. All I know is that they were classmates at Oak Ridge Academy in 1954 until Laura and Virginia suddenly decided to switch schools. Laura Swenson made a total of three attempts to contact her sister twice by phone and once in person. Each time she was refused access. Eleanore Druette, God love you, tried to make contact with Virginia Swenson a total of eighty-seven times mostly by telephone. You were on the restricted list ergo you were denied.”

“Wait!” I held up my hands. “Ginny didn’t want to see me. She was the one who cut off all contact except for the letters.”

“Uhm, that maybe true,” Spencer slowly began. “But when an inmate receives a phone call or visitor unless it is their lawyer they don’t know who it is until they either answer the phone or step into the visitor’s room. The guard just goes and gets them. Then if they don’t wish to speak to the visitor they say so. Even if she wanted to see you, she couldn’t. I doubt that she knows about the list. Interesting thing about that, above and beyond it being a blatant violation of Virginia’s civil rights, is that it followed her from Cold Fields. It was penned the same day she began her sentence.”

“Son of,” I growled. “Why? Better still who? If Ginny had been paroled it would have been a moot point. Everyone on that list wouldn’t have been able to see her. None of us were over twenty-one. So why bother?”

“Yeah,” Spencer grinned. “It’s almost as if someone expected her to serve the full term. The letter was signed by Millicent Forgrass the director of Cold Springs, who received a check in the amount of three grand the following week from the Brinkman Corporation. She was paid to be, and I quote, a consultant. It gets better. That same company on December 23rd of 1956 cut a check to a Mrs. Karen Jarworski also for consulting services. The amount was five grand and some change. Her husband, a police detective, used the money to purchase each of them a brand new Plymouth. They also took a nice vacation to Miami. It was a very Merry Christmas in the Jarworski household. Getting back to Virginia’s stay at Framingham. Once again a model prisoner. She worked in the laundry, the kitchen and donated her time to working in the library and helping many of her fellow inmates earn their GED. She rarely engaged in any altercations, well no more than anyone else. Although she does have a few blemishes on her record. Her first infraction occurred on May 30th, 1959 just one week before her first parole hearing. During a routine sweep, a bottle of Jim Beam was discovered hidden under her mattress.”

“Bourbon? Ginny? I don’t think so,” I argued. “She still rarely drinks. And I’ve never known her to drink anything that harsh.”

“It also brings up a couple of questions,” Spencer smirked. “How does someone score a bottle of name brand bourbon in prison? Usually spirits discovered behind the gate are brewed there. Secondly who sleeps on top of a bottle? I would assume that a woman who is bright enough to be a mentor for others is smart enough to know that a glass bottle would break given enough pressure. I did a little digging and basically got stone walled until I spoke to a Miss Wilma Denton. I love her; she’s been a matron at the prison for over twenty years and is a very pious straight shooter. She was troubled by the event. First it was too easy. She said the bottle was in plain sight. Secondly during a normal sweep the entire cellblock is tossed. That day the only cell checked was Virginia’s. Kind of like they expected to find contraband in her cell. On June 9th, 1959 Mrs. Jarworski received another consultant’s fee in the amount of seven thousand dollars. Mr. Jarworski paid off the mortgage on the house and they took another vacation this time Hawaii. On September 13th, 1960 during another sweep, which was limited to Miss Swenson’s cell a guard discovered a cannabis cigarette next to her toothbrush. Again Miss Denton doubts that Miss Swenson would be stupid enough to leave a Dobie just sitting out in the open. Both times contraband was discovered in Virginia’s cell the matron who discovered it was a Miss Gretchen Stompmeir. One week after her miraculous discoveries she received a check for five hundred dollars from the Brinkman Corporation. On September 16th, Miss Denton was forced to write up Miss Swenson and another inmate a Lana Sturgis for engaging in unnatural acts in the shower. Now don’t flip your lid. In hindsight Miss Denton feels uncertain who started the transgression. In fact she thinks, but she’s not certain, that Virginia was fending off Miss Sturgis’ advances. Three days later Virginia had her final parole hearing. Booze, pot and homosexual activities the parole board didn’t want to see her again. One week later Mrs. Jarworski received another consultant fee to the tune of eight grand this time. Mr. Jarworski bought a speed boat among other things and Mrs. Jarworski remodeled the kitchen. Lana Sturgis’ legal representation was taken over by the same law firm that handled Virginia’s case. Seven months later she walked out of Framingham and was picked up by a limo. She also received a check for her services as a consultant from, can anyone guess?”

“Brinkman.” I hissed clenching my fists.

“Give that lady a kewpie doll,” Spencer shook her head. “After that, remarkably, Virginia returned to being a model prisoner. Her only visitors were your parents. Although the staff was concerned by letters she was receiving from Eleanore Druette. They suspected that Miss Swenson and Miss Druette were conversing in code. They never broke the code. Really ticked them off.”

“Who is Brinkman?” Professor Larson questioned.

“What is Brinkman,” Spencer corrected. “Several IRS and federal agents are asking the same question. Brinkman is a Bahaman corporation; it must be since its finances comes from an offshore account and the base of operations is a beach house in the Bahamas. The corporate officers include, James Sutherland.”

“Ginny’s lawyer.” I groaned.

“A fine financial attorney,” Larson grimly noted. “But why would you have him act as lead council in a criminal matter?”

“You wouldn’t,” Spencer stated bluntly. “He’s Brinkman’s financial officer. His name is on all the checks. Then we have Warren Swenson. Color me surprised that he is the CEO. And at one time or other the list of members on the board included Frankie Rossi, Sal Parenti and Gino Degrassi. Well until his untimely death. Then we have Vinnie “The Shark” Denosia and a long list of other gentleman all of whom have been investigated by the government at one time or another. If I had to guess I’d say that the Brinkman Corporation was a laundry service.”

“Wash, dry, fold and clean your money,” I blew out an uneasy breath. “I can’t see Mr. Degrassi helping to set up Ginny.”

“He was dead by then,” Spencer concluded. “And all of the consultant fees were channeled from other businesses. It took a lot of digging and I can’t prove it but all the money used to frame Virginia came from her father’s companies. Some family, huh?”

“You have no idea,” I grunted with disdain. “There is someone you might want to talk to about what happened at Oak Ridge. Gina Degrassi. She told her father that Laurie was the reason they got booted out.”

“Gina Degrassi?” Spencer gulped. “Wow Uncle Gary you said this case was interesting still I had no idea just how interesting.”

“Ginny said that Gino kept his kids away from the family business,” I tried to explain.

“Still Gina is Gino’s little girl,” Spencer hedged. “What is it you need to find out about Oak Ridge? From what I discovered whatever happened was covered up. All I could find out was that Ginny and Hilary were somehow involved. There was a police report that has since mysteriously disappeared. In fact the only time it has seen the light of day was when it landed on Judge Warren’s desk. Then poof; it along with her other prior police reports disappeared. You’d almost think someone was keeping copies of them under wraps which doesn’t jive with the family portrait. According to most people I’ve spoken with, the Swenson clan was well to do and very close.”

“Excuse me?” I gaped at her. “I’m sorry but no.”

“It’s the truth,” Spencer asserted. “The Swenson’s doted on all three of their children. And all three of them excelled in academics. Nathaniel graduated from Phillips Academy with honors. Went on to West Point, again graduating with honors before beginning his career in the Army. He chose a career in the military because he had political ambitions. All in all everyone who knew him loved him. And they swear up and down that he was extremely close to his parents and younger sisters. Not only that the whole family was tight.”

“That is not the family I knew.” I bluntly contradicted her.

“I got the same story from everyone,” Spencer corrected me. “That was until Nathaniel died in action. Actually he died saving the lives of two of his men. They had been cut off from the rest of the unit. He got them out, but failed to return with them. Then out of the blue Mamma and Poppa Swenson are shipping the twins off to boarding school before their brother’s body makes it back to the States. They weren’t even allowed to attend the funeral. That is when Virginia’s behavioral problems began. Oddly enough their former instructors claim that Laura was the one who developed an attitude problem but Virginia was the one who managed to get into serious trouble. Mr. Swenson devoted most of his time to tripling his fortune while Mrs. Swenson devoted her time to socializing and gin. The family moved several times under a cloud of rumors regarding Virginia’s behavior.”

“Didn’t they consider family counseling?” Larson grunted.

“Apparently not,” Spencer sighed wearily. “Speaking of the family what would like to know about Laura?”

“Any chance she is willing to confess?” I smugly inquired.

“Not likely,” Spencer couldn’t help but grin. “Laura Swenson-Bradford graduated from Largmount High after one very lackluster semester. Surprising since prior to that, academically she was a shinning star. Which is probably how she got accepted to Stanford where she managed to flunk out midway through her sophomore year. Not that she cared, since she had already managed to get engaged to a senior. She married Jessup Bradford, who is from a fine old family, the following spring. The day after the wedding she cashed in on a very large trust fund. They are very affluent, have one child and seem to be happy. Except Mrs. Bradford has a habit of being arrested for drunk driving. Four times in California while she was in college. Three times here in Massachusetts. All seven times the charges were dropped. She never spent a second in jail and was never fingerprinted. Her hobbies include shopping, doing lunch and raising her son. She’s pregnant with their second child but they haven’t announced it yet so keep it under your hat. Any questions?”

“What about the judge? Any chance he was on the payroll as well?” I swallowed hard trying to digest everything.

“Nope,” she shook her head. “Judge Warren is very honest and extremely strict. Total hard ass unless of course you’re a white boy from a good family. Then he’s been known to be lenient. But still he will only go so far. He also has a hard on when it comes to cases involving homosexual behavior. He’s institutionalized more kids than any other jurist in the state. The sentence he handed down to Virginia in comparison to his usual sentencing in such a matter was a slap on the wrist. Basically if her daddy wasn’t Warren Swenson she’d still be in prison or locked up in the nuthouse.”

“My God.” I felt sick.

“Warren is a hanging judge,” Professor Larson added. “That’s why the AG loves him. He thinks he’s fighting crime by giving kids hard time. This case just gets deeper and deeper. Corrupt cops and prison officials it just gets worse at every turn. The detective was he on anyone else’s payroll?”

“He has to be,” Spencer snarled. “Not just him, but several men in his unit wives have experienced sudden windfalls. Usually it is just after Detective Jarworski bungles a case which subsequently is tossed out. I don’t know how he keeps his badge. I can sight at least twelve instances where he has lost evidence. Word around the cop circles is he’s dirty, no one likes him but you don’t want to cross him. Okay now what I can I do? I’ll keep looking for those missing records, but I doubt if finding them will do the client any good.”

“She’s not a client,” I muttered absently. “She doesn’t even know I’m doing this.”

Spencer released a roar of laughter. “My God, you’re amazing,” she sputtered once she caught her breath. “You are still in law school and you’ve come this far without a client? Heaven help the legal system after you pass the bar.”

“Well while you are saying your prayers,” I smiled shyly. “Do you think you can find Gina Degrassi? Set up a meeting and I’ll come along.”

“I’ll try,” she shivered. “Daddy may have kept her away from the business but the lady is still connected. Again, why?”

“Oak Ridge,” I tried to explain. “If we can prove that on at least one other occasion Laurie set Ginny up, it could be helpful.”

“I see where you are going,” Professor Larson concurred. “Even if we can’t, proving that at times one was mistaken for the other would be beneficial. Just one question Ellen? Am I to understand that you’ve met Gino Degrassi?”

“Just once,” I shrugged. “Thank you both again.”

“Hey I’m having a blast,” Spencer boasted. “Where are you off to?”

“Cedar Hills,” I sighed gathering up my things. “I need to have a chat with my parents.”

I took the train back home. I wanted to know what happened the day Ginny’s mother visited her. I doubted it would further the cause, but at that point I was grasping at straws. We had a lot of information and very little hard evidence. We knew that Detective Jarworski was crooked, that some of the guards at the prison were on the take, and that Ginny was framed. And we couldn’t prove a damn thing. Add in Ginny entered into a plea bargain and had already served her time. Frankly no one except us cared about the case. In the eyes of the legal system there was no case.

I walked into my Dad’s shop. Sammy was helping by cleaning the back and Dad had a bunch of customers waiting. Some man I failed to recognize was sitting in the chair. Dad was beaming as he trimmed the man’s hair. “So those are your kids Sam?” The gentlemen inquired.

“Yup,” Dad smiled as he continued to snip away. “All three of the little rug rats.”

“Right.” Someone off to the side snorted with disdain.

“Brent.” I hissed under my breath when I spied the troublemaker. Stewie was sitting next to him and began to shift nervously.

“Got something to say smart ass?” Dad spun around pinning Brent down with a hostile look.

“Brent,” Stewie tried to caution our former classmate.

“You let that deviant into your home and now you want people to think she’s your kid?” Brent spat out. “How could you let her near your daughter?”

“Jesus Brent,” Stewie growled. “Come on we’re in Mr. Druette’s shop have a little respect.”

“Respect?’ Brent sneered. “God only knows what she did to turn Ellen.”

“You could ask me?” I fumed folding my arms across my chest. No one had noticed me until that moment. “Come on Brent.”

“Eleanore, I will handle this,” Dad cautioned me. “You, get out of here.”

“Maybe you turned her,” Brent spat out as he jumped up throwing down the magazine he had been reading.

I thought for sure Dad was going to kill him. Hell everyone thought it except the guy who bolted across the room. Tossed Brent out on his sorry behind and began to wail on him. Nobody moved we just stood there watching the fight. There was big old Brent getting beat up by my kid brother. Sammy was less than half his size and he was knocking the snot out of him. It wasn’t until we saw Ginny racing across the street screaming for Sammy to stop that we finally moved into action.

“Sam?” Ginny sputtered yanking the little guy to his feet. “What the fuck?” She shouted down at Brent. “You gave him a black eye.” She screamed at Brent who was bleeding in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Me? The little shit broke my nose,” Brent wailed.

“Don’t you ever talk about my sisters that way,” Sammy was screaming kicking and fussing.

“Sammy,” I jumped in dragging him away. “Let it go.”

“Son of a,” Stewie gaped down at Brent. “Hey he may scrawny but,”

“Shut up!” Brent whimpered.

Sammy moved to get a few more licks in. Dad and I managed to shove him inside the shop. “My God,” Dad smiled proudly. “Who knew? I wish I had a camera.”

“Dad.” I hissed under my breath.

“Oh right,” he cleared his throat. “Uhm so you were saying Jackass?”

“Nothing Sir,” Brent retreated.

“That’s what I thought,” Dad nodded curtly as I ducked into the shop to check on my feisty little brother.

“Should I ask?” The poor customer in the chair questioned.

“Ginny was adopted,” I offered in a hushed tone. “It’s a sensitive subject.”

“Good to know.” He gulped just as my Dad and Ginny entered the shop.

“Sam?” I took him by the arm and checked his eye. “Now that’s a shiner. Little brother, I know you’ve heard those things before.” I quietly began. “Tell me this isn’t the way you deal with it?”

“No, El,” he sincerely vowed. “I can deal. But to say that to your face? To Dad? No way, I can’t just stand back.”

“Junior?” Dad beckoned him.

Sammy’s shoulders slumped before he slowly made his way over to face our Dad. “Now, son,” Dad grimly began. “I know I need to tell you that fighting is wrong. And stupid. But dang it all to hell I’m just so proud of you. Girls take your brother home before that butthead comes back and tries to save face. Oh and Sammy you’re still grounded for that other thing.”

“Can we take the Chevy?” I beamed trying to lighten the mood.

“You’re young and can walk,” Dad shooed.

“You weren’t kidding Sam your kids really are something else,” the customer snickered.

By the time we reached the house we were cold, tired and our nerves were frayed. “Anyone want to tell me why Sam suddenly decided he was Superman?” Ginny questioned with a grunt.

“It was nothing.” I quickly lied.

“Sam?” Ginny pushed.

“Brent is a jackass,” Sam scowled touching tentatively touching his eye.

“I knew that,” Ginny spun around. “And?”

“And he’s a loud mouth jerk,” Sam sniffed trying to look tough.

“Again not a revelation.” Ginny hissed.

“Jerk shot his mouth off,” I threw out sensing that Ginny was ticked off. “About me.” I added trying to deflect her anger. “Sam decided to be my knight in shinning armor. Did a hell of a job too.”

“I think I just beat Dad to the punch,” he smiled.

“What did he say about you?” Ginny demanded.

“Oh no there’s been enough blood shed on my account for one day,” I asserted as she growled under her breath. “Chill it wasn’t about you. Brent was just being a jerk. Some people never grow up.”

“You’re lying.” She gaped at me. I knew that look in her eyes and this time I was not going to go along with it.

“Oh no you don’t,” I shouted. “You’re not leaving. Not everything is about you.”

“Tell me the truth,” she pushed.

“Ginny, don’t go?” Sam pleaded. “Brent’s an asshole.”

“Hitting him was wrong,” Ginny yelled. “And more than a little surprising. Just because you got the first shot in doesn’t make it right. And yes I’m leaving. No way I’m going to be the cause of any more trouble.”

“Ginny?” Sammy shouted.

“I told you it wasn’t about you,” I flared. Technically it wasn’t. “He hates all of us.”

The shouting match quickly escalated. If we weren’t a real family before that moment sealed it. Mom barged out of the house while we were scrapping. “What in the name of heaven is going on out here? I’m trying to enjoy my hot flash.” She bellowed down at us.

All three of us turned mute, scowling while we kicked the snow. “Out with it!” Mom demanded. “What happened to Sam? Honey who hit you?”

“More like who he hit,” I laughed.

“Eleanore,” Mom tsked me waving for Sam to join her on the porch. “Ooo that is going to smart. Who wants to start talking? Who hit your brother?”

“I got into a fight,” Sam defended himself. “No big deal.”

“No big deal?” Mom glowered.

“Mom,” I tried to make peace. “Brent shot his mouth off and Sam shut his trap.”

“Brent?” Mom gave us a quizzical look.

“Jerk who went to high school with us,” Ginny clarified.

“Didn’t graduate,” I confided.

“Big surprise,” Ginny groaned.

“You got into a fight with a full grown man?” Mom gasped. “Why?”

“Yes, Eleanore why?” Ginny fussed.

“He said nasty things,” I shined them on.

“Such as?” Mom’s eyes narrowed.

“He was rude to Dad,” Sammy finally broke in. “Then he started saying stuff about El and Ginny. So I showed him the door.”

“Told you it wasn’t all about you,” I smugly informed Ginny. “So you’re not going anywhere.”

“No one is going anywhere,” Mom scolded the lot of us. “Except into the kitchen. The three of you are grounded. So get cracking and start dinner.”

“I don’t live here.” I stammered.

“Oh I wouldn’t try playing that card,” Mom cautioned me. “Unless you want to cover the next tuition by yourself.” I was going to point out that I was in my last semester of law school and there was no further tuition looming on the horizon. But it was a bad day to be pushing Mom’s buttons. “I’m only going to say this once. All of you are my children and I love each of you dearly. Even if I didn’t go through agonizing hours of labor to bring you into this family. I don’t want to know what some idiot did or did not say. There will be no fighting in or outside our happy little home. Now start on that dinner it’s getting late.”

There was no dodging it. Mom was in what we had started referring to as one of her moods. Solemnly we stomped into the kitchen and began to fix dinner. Mom relaxed in the living room with a glass of wine. We remained silent the only sounds were that of pots and pans being banged about. “So,” I tersely began ready to get to the real reason I was in such a snotty mood. Ginny came here first. Ergo she was seeing someone. “What’s her name?” I fumed. Sammy shrank back. He may have been brave enough to tackle a big dumb jock still he was smart enough to beg out of this little tit for tat.

“Margo.” She grunted slamming the fixing for a salad on the counter. “We needed a break.”

“I see.” I curtly retorted slamming a chicken down. “But you came here first?”

“We’re trying to work things out.” She hissed under her breath.

“Isn’t that just nifty,” I sneered noticing that Sammy was trying to slip out of the room.

“Hey,” Ginny spun around. “Don’t. How many times have I stopped in to visit only to have you not come home that night?”

“True,” I pursed my lips thinking it had only happened twice. “I especially enjoy those moments myself. You know when you look at me like I’m the whore of Babylon. Maybe if you called first or I don’t know stick around a little longer it wouldn’t happen?”

“That’s not fair,” she tried to argue with me.

“It’s never been fair,” I flared. “Not in high school and certainly not now.”

“Is she at least special?” She pleaded.

“Sonja?” I shrugged. “I don’t see her that often. She’s a stewardess for a Swiss Air. She only hits Boston a couple times a year.” Sonja was a doll. Who loved that I wasn’t another uptight American girl who expected marriage immediately after sex. The truth was I met her in a bar one night. The only reason I had gone out that night was because I was angry with Ginny for leaving again. I picked up the first tall blonde I could find. The fact that she looked so much like Ginny was a bonus. As adventurous as Sonja was most of the time she was all show and no go. Still she had her moments. That woman wore the most tantalizing undergarments. Half the fun was discovering the fun she had hidden beneath her clothing. It was just enough to distract me from the real reasons I hooked up with her in the first place.

“Son of a bitch,” Sammy stammered from his hiding spot by the backdoor.

“A Swiss airline stewardess,” Ginny blinked seemingly impressed. “Twin cheerleaders and a stewardess? You’re like something out of Playboy.”

“I have school,” I grunted. “I get lonely. Tell me when your bouncing around the continent you sleep alone.”

“Most of the time.” She spat out.

“A stewardess,” Sammy sputtered still shocked. “Man my life sucks. I’m already grounded because Mom found my playboy when she was putting away my laundry.”

“Could have been worse,” I muttered under my breath. Last winter when my dear sweet mother cleaned my apartment my stash of playthings mysteriously vanished from my night stand and underwear drawer.

“Uhm,” Ginny blushed shaking her head.

“What?” I questioned in a hushed whisper.

“She didn’t,” she mumbled still blushing. “I did.”

“What?” I was horrified.

“When your Mom went down to the laundry room it suddenly occurred to me that you’re an adult living alone,” she timidly explained. “I did a quick sweep. I forget to give them back to you.”

“You took the,” my voice trailed off when I noticed Sammy listening. “My toys. You have them?” I whispered under my breath.

“In my duffle bag in a paper bag,” she quietly explained. “I never looked at them. I swear. I just thought you and your mother might be happier if I ditched them. I forgot about them.”

“Thank you for doing that,” I mumbled feeling my ire ebbing. “Look I’m sorry. I acted like a jerk.”

“Me too,” she grimaced. “And I don’t think you’re a bad person for having a late date. It isn’t any of my business what you do. And for trying to bolt. You’re right everything isn’t about me. I just feel guilty. I know my presence causes stress. So what actually did that booger head Brent say?”

“Oh he was just expounding words of wisdom regarding lesbians,” I snarled still feeling disgusted by his words.

“So he didn’t graduate?” Ginny snickered. “Not that I’m surprised. In the fall he still hadn’t passed English and was dropped from the team.”

“He got a GED, I think,” I shrugged. “After he got drafted. The Army did nothing to improve his disposition.”

“He was always a first class jerk,” she shook her head. “I tried to warn Laurie. She thought he was cute.”

“You didn’t test drive him did you?” I grimaced.

“Yeah, just one date,” she scowled. “Gave him the thumbs down. He expected me to pick him up. Some guys were just after the car.”

“Was he blind?” I laughed. “True the Cherry Mobiles were a hot set of cars but how could you not notice the driver?”

After Dad got home dinner went surprisingly well. He couldn’t stop singing Sammy’s praises. Adding of course that violence was not appropriate after repeatedly calling him Sonny Liston. Sammy blushed every time Dad went on and on about how Sammy shut that, as he put it, sideburn wearing freak’s big trap. Mom finally got the gist of what went down. She too admonished Sammy for fighting while praising him for defending his family.

I had almost forgotten why I had come home in the first place. Mom insisted that the three of us do the dishes and we weren’t brave enough to argue.

After the last dish was put away, Sammy had homework and Ginny had a phone call. I took this as my chance to corner Mom. “Quite a day you kids had,” Mom blew out wearily. “I forgot to ask why you stopped in. Not that I’m unhappy to see you. But usually you bring a truck load of laundry with you.”

“I wanted to ask you about something that happened when Ginny was at Cold Fields,” I carefully began. “Her mother came to see her. It was only once. I know you and Dad were there. Can you tell me what happened?”

“It’s not my place to say,” Mom sadly supplied. “If you want to know ask Ginny.”

“I don’t know if today is the right day to do that,” I grimaced recalling the argument we had earlier. “We had a bit of a spat earlier.”

“Then let it be,” Mom cautioned me.

“I can’t,” I groaned running my fingers through my hair. “I’m so close to clearing her name. You wouldn’t believe the stuff we’ve found out.”

“Eleanore, is there a chance?” Mom was so hopeful.

“I’m trying,” I promised. “I’ll talk to Ginny. I’m just a little worried. I never told her I was working on this.”

“You never told any of us,” Mom corrected. “I guess Sammy’s not the only scrapper in the family.” She boasted. “Ask her. The worst she can do is to tell you to go to hell. I suspect it wouldn’t be the first time she’s told you to butt out.”

“Or the last,” I responded with an uneasy laugh.

I braced myself before mounting the staircase. I found Ginny in her room sitting on her bed only the table lamp dimly illuminating the room. “Come to get your goodie bag?” She questioned clearing her throat. She looked tired and clearly upset about something.

“No,” I smiled shyly leaving the door open since it was one of the house rules. I moved very carefully when I took a spot next to her on the bed. “I was going to talk to you about something. But based on the look on your face it looks like maybe you need to talk. Everything okay?”

“No,” she sighed brushing an errant tear from her cheek. “That was Margo on the phone. She’s been thinking. She thinks it is for the best I don’t come home. Ever.”

“Ginny, I’m sorry,” I hugged her tightly. “I know I was a snot earlier. I want you to be happy, you know that don’t that you?”

“Yeah I know.” She sighed tightening her hold on me. “It was my fault.”

“Ginny?” I huffed leaning slightly back from her. “If I’ve learned anything in life it takes two.”

“Not this time,” she grumbled. “I lied. Well not lied, I just wasn’t honest. I didn’t tell her about my record. You’d be surprised how much of a turn off it can be.” She tried to joke. “She found out. Even after I explained everything, she still didn’t trust me. I think she believes me but my omission really hurt her. I hate that it is always going to be there. “

“Maybe not,” I tried to encourage her.

“Yes, it is.” She curtly retorted. “I was in prison. Nothing will ever change that. So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Perhaps this isn’t the right time,” I meekly responded.

“How much worse can the day get?” She laughed. “Come on. You came all the way here for a reason. If I can help, I’m more than happy to.”

“Okey, Dokey,” I shivered slightly. “At the risk of opening a new can of worms, what happened at Oak Ridge between you and Hilary?”

“Oak Ridge?” She was clearly taken aback. “Uhm it was a good school, bit uptight and all girls. Hey how did you know about Hilary?” She suddenly demanded.

“I’ve been working on your case,” I timidly confessed.

“I don’t have a case,” she sternly corrected me.

“According to one of my law professor’s yes you do,” I tried to explain. “Look I don’t know if anything I’ve done will do any good. I just have to try.”

“Why? It’s over,” she stressed.

“No, it isn’t,” I cut her off. “Look at what happened just today. If you want me to stop I will. If you don’t want to answer my questions, I can respect that.”

“Yeah, like I could stop you,” she shook her head. “If you must know I have no idea what happened at Oak Ridge. Hilary and I were close. Dating in fact. I liked her a lot. I even tried to keep it a secret from Laurie. As you are well aware Laurie thinks I should share everything. Oak Ridge never had more than two hundred students at any given time. So, I guess our little affair really wasn’t that much of a secret. Everything was great until one night Hilary stopped talking to me. She was really freaked out about something. I never found out what it was. That same night the cops showed up and arrested me. I was charged with trying to seduce her. I spent the night in jail then all of sudden the charges went bye-bye and Laurie and I were on the first bus out of town. Next stop Cedar Hills. I swear that’s all I know.”

“Would you mind telling me what happened when your mother visited you at Cold Fields?” I quietly questioned.

“You’re a regular Nancy Drew aren’t you?” She pursed her lips. “It was a short visit. She asked if I was a homosexual. I told her the truth. She said and I quote, from now on when people inquire about my children I will tell them that my son died a hero and my daughter Laurie is a Stanford girl. I have no other children. Then she left. I haven’t seen or heard from her since.”

“I’m sorry,” I reached out to hug her.

“Me too,” she sighed pulling away from my touch. “Now if you don’t mind I’m tired.”

I simply nodded and left her alone. I caught the train back into the city not certain as to when or if I’d hear from her again. She showed up on my doorstep two days later. I started to apologize. She cut me off informing me she really didn’t want to discuss the matter ever again. She spent the night. Nothing happened between us. It didn’t feel right. It was yet another turning point for us. I was ready to lock up the file I had begun and do what my mother suggested, let it be.

Then I got the call from Spencer, she had arranged a meeting with Mrs. Coluccio the former Gina Degrassi. One more tedious interview and if nothing came from it, I was going to let it go. After my final class that Friday we drove down to Long Island. Gina had done well for herself. Despite her family connections and marrying a nice Italian boy she and her husband walked on the right side of the law running a very posh art dealership in the city.

Her housekeeper, a very pleasant woman, led us around back where we met the lady of the house frolicking with her children. “Mrs. Coluccio thank you for meeting with us,” I politely greeted her while thinking she had her father’s striking good looks.

“Be forewarned this may be a short meeting,” she cautioned us. “Tonya, take the children inside.”

We waited until her three children were safely out of earshot. “Are you cops? Or worse reporters?” She demanded keeping her tone pleasant. “If you are then you should know my father never brought his business home with him.”

“No, Ma’am,” I quickly reassured her. “I’m a law student and my interest has nothing to do with your father. I met him once and found him to be a perfect gentleman. I’m here about a former classmate of yours from Oak Ridge.”

“Thank you for your candor,” she smiled brightly motioning for us to take a seat. “Oak Ridge, my goodness, now that was a life time ago. I can’t believe I almost flunked out. If it wasn’t for one of my classmates I would have been in serious trouble.”

“Virginia Swenson?” I prodded.

“Yes, how did you know that?” She shook her head. “My God I haven’t thought about her in years.”

“She’s the reason I’m here.”

“Gin-gin?” She smiled. “Don’t tell me something has happened to her? That girl had a heart of gold.”

“What about her sister?” Spencer interjected.

“Laurie,” she shrugged. “The same. Heck we couldn’t tell them apart half the time. Still Laurie was like some of my father’s friends. Nice men, just never turn your back on them. I just never suspected that Gin-gin had a temper. Shocked the heck out of me.”

“You mean what happened with Hilary?” I carefully questioned.

“Oh those things happened,” she readily dismissed my words. “Small school, no boys within a hundred mile radius these things happen. We use to call it having a pash. I think it was different for Ginny and Hilary, they seemed pretty serious until that night.”

“What exactly happened?” I pushed.

“Look Hilary is a happily married woman now,” she cut me to the quick. “I don’t know what happened to Ginny. But I’m not one for telling tales out of school.”

“A few years ago she got into some very serious trouble,” again I was treading lightly. “I’m friends with her and I’m trying to help her.”

“You said that at times you would mistake one of the twins for the other?” Spencer encouraged.

“Happened a lot,” Gina laughed. “For heavens sake they’re twins. Many times I suspected that they used to switch places for a lark now and then. Is Ginny okay?”

“For the moment,” I cautioned. “I know this is private, but anything you could tell me about what happened would really be helpful. Your father said that you told him that it was Laurie who had committed the transgression.”

“I never told him that,” she blinked with surprise. “Then again Poppa could be very resourceful. Now that I think about things it would make sense. There was just something about Laurie that always made me uneasy. If I had to pick which one of them would have upset Hilary in that matter I’d bet on her and not Ginny. I’ll tell you what I know. Ginny and Hilary ditched out of the dorm late one night. Not an uncommon event. When they got back Hilary was boarding on hysterical. Ginny just shrugged it off and disappeared. Which was not her style. Hilary stormed into the headmistress’ office. Next thing I knew Ginny was being hauled off by the local heat. None of us heard what happened and the Swenson girls belongings were packed up the following morning. The closest I ever got to an explanation from Hilary was that Ginny tried to assault her. She never went into graphic detail. Whatever happened it scared the daylights out of Hilary. She was never the same after that. Just didn’t make sense.” She paused for a moment seemingly mulling things over. “Unless Poppa was right and it wasn’t Ginny. That I could believe.”

“Thank you for your time, Mrs. Coluccio.”

“That’s it?” She smiled. “I hope I helped.”

“Yes, a little,” I smiled in return. “Thank you again.”

“Now how did that help?” Spencer asked as we began the long drive back home.

“She confirmed that at times the twins switched places,” I explained. “I seriously doubt she’d ever testify to it. But others at the school might.”

“Leaves the nagging question as to why?” Spencer shook her head.

“Laurie wanted whatever Ginny had,” I tried to translate. “And she didn’t like sharing Ginny. She also had a real problem with her sister’s sexuality. She’d do anything to put a stop to it. Trust me I have first hand knowledge of just how far she would go.”

“Really?” Spencer spied me curiously.

“Back in high school when Ginny and I were first starting to get close,” I choked out. “She pinned me in the girl’s room. She grabbed me so hard she left bruises.”

“So she’s nuts?” Spencer quickly deduced.

“Big time,” I concluded. “When I accused her of trying to split Ginny and I up she flipped her wig. No way, her sister was gay. And one way or another I had to go.”

“So she slaps around a couple of women using Ginny’s name,” Spencer put the pieces together.

“She probably assumed that Daddy would throw money at the problem and they’d just move to another town,” I concluded. “Ginny would get a slap on the wrist. I’d be out of the way and she gets her sister back. Only this time her plan blew up in her face.”

“She could have stepped forward,” Spencer spat out.

“She could have just chilled out and let nature take its course.” I sneered. “Ginny and I were just a couple of confused kids. We weren’t even planning on attending the same colleges. Then again, Ginny did apply to Smith. If Laurie found out, it might have pushed her over the edge.”

“Just because she was considering continuing her relationship with you?” Spencer sputtered thrown by the lack of logic. “So she smacks around a couple of women in places she must have known the cops would be around? Talk about loony toons. If she wanted to jam you up, she could have just dropped a dime on your little ski trip. You crossed state lines for illicit purposes. Of course since you are older you would have been the one locked up.”

“Possibly,” I nodded thoughtfully. “But then Ginny would have hated Laurie for hurting me. And Ginny drove. Title eighteen, crimes and criminal procedures part one. Crimes chapter 117 Transportation for illegal sexual activity and related crimes. The court would have viewed Ginny as the guilty party since she was driving the car.”

“Ah the Mann Act, gotta love it,” Spencer scowled. “You know what gets me is sodomy was listed as one of Virginia’s crimes. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought sodomy meant doing it with farm animals.”

I released a riotous burst of laughter. “Uhm, yes bestiality is considered sodomy along with oral sex of any kind and any abnormal behavior,” I tried to clarify. “Technically Laurie didn’t do any of those things. According to the victims she just pawed them and beat the crap out of them. But the cops threw it in anyway.”

So now what? You said you were thinking of backing off?” She thoughtfully questioned.

“Not just yet,” I shook my head. I was still worried that I was heading down a dead end street. Still Ginny never told me not to keep trying. Although she did question the sanity of my actions.

That spring I graduated from law school with honors. My family was there, all of my family including my wayward ex-girlfriend. Ginny lingered in the background. It couldn’t have been easy for her to see me achieve success. If life hadn’t gone the way it did it could have been her receiving the accolades, instead she was endlessly roaming. Yet, I knew she was happy for me. Heck even my grandmother was happy. During the party my parents arranged in the backyard Ginny pulled me aside. “I’m proud of you,” she echoed the praises I had been inundated with that day. Coming from her it meant the world to me. “What are your plans for after the party?”

“Well Sandy and Ron wanted to go out and celebrate,” I began. “But I doubt Sandy will be able to stand up for much longer. I’m worried about her.”

“Yeah me too,” Ginny nodded in agreement. “Mind if I tag along?”

“Tag along?” I shook my head. “I was hoping to ditch everyone and steal you away. I know this can’t be easy for you.” I tenderly added patting her on the arm.

“It,” she paused scrunching her face. “It hurts a little. But this is you. I couldn’t be prouder of you if I tried. I know I was a real drag during my last visit. Sorry about that.”

“Drop it, I could never stay mad at you,” I gave her a quick hug. It felt good to put some of the drama behind us.

“Hey, no groping my prom date,” Ron interrupted us.

“O’Keefe, you mangy dog,” she pretended to scold him while giving him a hug. “Look at you all grown up.” She added tugging on his shaggy hair-do.

“Mr. Druette already gave me guff over my hair,” he explained with a sheepish grin. “Speaking of guff I heard what happened with Brent. I always knew he was bad news. Ever since the first grade when he dipped Ellen’s pigtails in an inkwell.”

“That brute!” Ginny bellowed. “You should have seen little Sam kicking the tar out of that blow hard.”

“Blew the deal with Buddy,” Ron snickered.

“What deal?” I questioned.

“Buddy is retiring,” Ron causally began. “Neither Stewie or his sisters want the business. So Brent’s dad was going to buy it for him. After Buddy heard about Brent’s behavior he backed out of the deal.”

“Brent running Buddy’s now there’s a scary thought,” I shivered.

“Mow it down is more like it,” Ron scowled.

“Let me guess, he wanted to put in a strip mall,” Ginny grimaced. “Damn things are popping up all over. Disgusting.”

“So you gals up for sneaking out of here and having some fun?” Ron implored. “Uhm that is if I’m not intruding?”

“Climb it Tarzan,” Ginny snickered flipping him the bird. “I’m up for a night out. I think Sandy is done for.”

“Convincing her to go home is hard enough. Trying to get her not to drive is damn near impossible,” I sighed wearily. Sandy’s debauchery had grown worse after Bobby’s death. Trying to keep Sandy away from a party was like trying to get Russia and the US to call an end to the cold war.

“This could take some maneuvering, Ron nodded in agreement.

“Eleanore,” Mom interrupted. “Hello Ron.”

“Mrs. Druette,” he nodded respectfully.

“What’s up, Mom?” I questioned.

“Sandy is under the weather,” she quietly explained.

“Three sheets to the wind is more like it,” Ginny grumbled.

“I’m afraid so,” Mom groaned. “She passed out. Your Dad put her in Ginny’s room. Safe to say she won’t be capable of driving for quite sometime.”

“One problem solved,” Ron chimed in.

“We can’t just leave her here,” Ginny argued.

“Oh were you kids going out?” Mom cheerfully questioned. “Go, Sandy is toasted. She won’t come out of her coma until tomorrow if we’re lucky. Go have fun. Take the Chevy. If Sandy wakes up Dad will take her home.”

“Thanks for the party Mom,” I hugged her. “Well guys I just need to change.”

“Me too,” Ginny frowned.

“You can get changed in my room,” I offered remembering that Sandy was passed out in her room. “We’ll take turns.” I offered for my mother’s benefit. “Where to?”

“Cindy and Frank’s folks are throwing them a killer party at the Fairmont Hotel,” Ron volunteered.

“Yeah, I got an invite to that,” I nodded thinking it was close enough to home and most of our classmates would be there. “I think Frank’s popping the question tonight.”

“About time,” Ron beamed.

“Uhm the Fairmont is nice,” Ginny hesitated. “Who are Frank and Cindy?”

“A couple of our classmates,” I explained. “Most of the class should be there. It should be a hoot. Or we could go somewhere else?” I suggested realizing that Ginny might not feel comfortable.

“What you are wearing should be fine,” Mom cut in pointing to the dress Ginny had bought for the party.

Ginny thought about for a moment before agreeing. “I guess I don’t need to change,” she smiled. “The Fairmont isn’t as uptight as some of the other snobby hotels.” She added with a shrug.

“What about me?” I asked twirling around.

“You’re perfect,” she smiled brightly. “You too,” she addressed Ron straightening his tie. “Since it is your party I’ll drive.”

“Bummer,” Ron moped. “I was hoping to take the Cherry Mobile out for a spin.”

“Hey, you stole my prom date no way I’m letting you drive the Chevy,” she taunted him.

“Still got your priorities straight,” I laughed before we ducked out of the party.

When we pulled up to the Fairmont I was floored. If this was one of the less fancy country clubs just what were the others like? The valet took the keys and we made our way to the main ball room. Frank had indeed proposed and by the time the three of us made our entrance Cindy was racing around showing everyone her ring. It was a really nice and sparkly. She hugged Ron and me before I went to introduce her to Ginny. “Uhm,” Cindy stammered for a moment. “Virginia?”

“Cynthia,” she smiled politely shaking Cindy’s hand.

“Thank goodness for half a second I thought Laura had suddenly become cool,” Cindy graciously greeted her. “How have you been? Better still where have you been?”

“Around,” Ginny shrugged. “Congratulations. On the engagement and, of course, Law School.”

“Thank you,” Cindy gushed. “This summer is going to be busy, both of us job hunting and planning a wedding. Frank and I haven’t been as lucky as these two. Already picked up by a top firm.”

“Oh there’s Sara and she’s all alone at the bar,” Ron wistfully sighed.

“Go,” I nudged him.

“Uhm Ellen?” Cindy nervously began. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Sure,” I clenched my jaw a tad worried about her tone.

“Ellen,” she quietly began after we took a couple of steps away from Ginny. “You know Frank and I are cool. But our families are a little uptight. His mom is already on my case because I want to work. It’s just that,”

“She’s not a date. Well not really,” I groaned. “And even if she was we wouldn’t make out at your shin ding.”

“I must sound like a total drip,” she sighed with relief. “Although I suspect Frank would love to watch. Just for the record I’ve always like Ginny. Her sister is a pill though.”

“I’ve noticed.” I laughed. “As for Frank you know a lot of guys have this whole can I watch thing going. I don’t understand it.”

“Honestly if you wanted a guy that’s who you’d be with,” she shook her head. “Again, I’m sorry for being a drag. If it was up to me and Frank the two of you could slow dance together. Speaking of my uptight family gotta go. Have fun.”

“What’s up?” Ginny briskly inquired.

“Nothing,” I patted her arm. “She just wanted to make sure we wouldn’t rock the boat around the old folks. She assumed that you’re my date and as much as her future husband might enjoy watching us play tonsil hockey, she was worried that some of the other guests might be offended.”

“Wait she’d be cool with you bringing a female escort?” Virginia stammered.

“She is cool with it,” I snickered guiding Ginny towards the bar.

“You don’t even know what a closet looks like do you?” She teased me. “Two white wines please?” She requested from the bartender.

“Not since Smith,” I gloated. “I don’t kid myself either. A lot of people say they are down with it until you hold hands in public. Then all of sudden I’m flaunting it.”

“Oh I know that one all too well,” she sighed. “Not that,” she instructed the bartender disliking his selection. The bartender nodded seeming to agree with her.

“My I suggest two glasses of Moet instead?” The older gentleman recommended.

“Excellent,” Ginny nodded her approval.

“Ooo bubbles,” I beamed. “Wait,” I cut her off when she went to pay.

“It’s your night.” She asserted brushing my money aside.

“And you just had a birthday,” I countered.

“So, you get the next round.”

“How do you know Cindy?” I asked as we strolled about sipping our champagne.

“Beaumont,” she smiled. “The school we went to right before Oak Ridge. Hasn’t your little investigation taken you that far back yet?”

“No,” I sighed. “Finding your past records has been tricky. Seems they keep disappearing.”

“Interesting.” She furrowed her brow.

“You know what I find interesting,” I slowly began as she hummed along to the band. “Why on earth did you allow a financial specialist to handle your defense?”

“He was Daddy’s lawyer,” she shrugged.

“Yes, his business attorney,” I corrected her. “He doesn’t handle criminal cases.”

“What’s the difference?” She was clearly confused.

“A lot I hope. Since my specialty is criminal law,” I smiled as we ducked out into the fresh air. “If you had been busted for tax evasion this guy would have been perfect. But for the charges you were facing he was way out his element.”

“But he took care of it those other times,” she argued.

“By paying people off which, as we found out, only works so many times,” I contradicted her. “If you went to trial the mere fact that you have an identical twin could have gotten you off.”

“He said that if, by some miracle, I was acquitted, the both of us would have had to face charges in Vermont,” she argued. “I wasn’t going to allow you to get into trouble. He said something about crossing state lines.”

“Fine, we could have gotten into trouble if you took the stand and incriminated yourself,” I spelled out for her. “Who says you would have had to take the stand?”

“I would have to,” she continued her argument.

“No, you wouldn’t,” I corrected her. “No defendant can be forced to testify against themselves. Any decent lawyer would have proven you were out of state at the time by having me, my parents and Rosa testify. Then show pictures of the matching cars, have people like Gina Degrassi or Miss Piper testify that they often mistook Laurie for you. As for what we did in Vermont no one would have known. After all we did bring our skis with us. Heck up until I told her old lady Piper still thought that Laurie was my buddy and point on the squad. Big old closet case that she is.”

“Miss Piper?” She gasped.

“Oh yeah,” I grimaced. “The point is your prior offenses weren’t admissible. Strange that they only showed up just long enough for the judge to see them. You had an alibi and there was a viable second suspect. I can’t see a jury convicting you based on the evidence. Your lawyer screwed you. Thing is you pled out which means no appeal.”

“I didn’t know any of this,” she muttered completely bewildered. “Wow you just graduated and already you are one hell of a lawyer.”

“I’m not a lawyer yet,” I laughed. “I still have to pass the bar. Speaking of the bar, ready for another round?”

“Why not?” She smiled brightly. “After all I’m celebrating the success of the smartest woman I know.”

“Now you’re just trying to butter me up,” I nudged her.

“No,” she shook her head. “I’m impressed. I always knew you were smart but this is amazing. It may be too late to save my sorry ass, but if you’re this good with a dead case imagine how much good you will do once you’re out there in the real world.”

“Your case isn’t dead,” I fussed as we made our way through the party. “Two more.” I instructed the bartender. “Look if you want me to stop I will.”

“Drinking?” She toyed with me.

“The case,” I chuckled. “Although perhaps I should ease up on the bubbles. One of us has to drive.”

“It’s a party,” she nudged me. “We’ll deal with our transportation later. We could get Ron to, hey where is he?”

“Off with Sara. I hope,” I smiled sipping my champagne. “He’s had a thing for her for over a year.”

“He never tried to get back together with you?” She shyly inquired.

“No. Not even at the prom,” I curtly informed her. “And he knows about me.”

“That doesn’t stop some guys,” she cautioned me as we bumped our way through the crowd.

“Stopped him,” I reassured her before introducing her to one of my classmates.

We stopped and chatted with people having a good time. We drank a little more as we mixed and mingled. “So at the risk of stirring up a hornets nest what happened at Beaumont?” I inquired when we once again ducked out for some fresh air.

“Again, I don’t know,” she groaned. “One day I was sitting in class then I was summoned to the headmaster’s office and arrested for trying to put the moves on some girl I had barely spoken to. I mean I knew her. I had a bit of a crush on her. But she was straight so I never even considered putting the moves on her. I spent the rest of the afternoon in a jail cell. When I was released we were on the move again. I asked Laurie about it. She said it was a misunderstanding.”

“I’ll bet,” I hissed before draining my drink. “Don’t defend her.” I cut her off just as she was about to speak. “The only thing your sister did right was try to visit you.”

“What?” Ginny stammered almost dropping her drink.

“She was turned away,” I could have kicked myself for bringing it up. “So was I. At first I assumed it was because you didn’t want to see me. I recently discovered there was a list of people who were prohibited from communicating with you in person or verbally.”

“Those rat bastards,” she cursed under her breath. “It’s true I didn’t want you to see me in there. My attire was less than flattering. But I would have loved to have heard your voice.”

“Same here,” I reached up and caressed her shoulder. “I tried calling you at the stroke of midnight the very second I turned twenty-one.”

“That is so sweet,” she gave me a lopsided grin.

“Speaking of sweet this is nice,” I complemented the floral dress she was wearing by running my finger along the neck line. “When did you get it?”

“Your Mom and I went shopping the other day,” she smirked.

“Have long have you been in town?” I questioned quickly withdrawing my hand.

“Couple of days,” she drew out slowly. “And no there isn’t anyone. I just wanted to surprise you for your graduation. Surprise!” She playfully added. “So do we risk more bubbly or try to sober up?”

“I’d love more bubbles,” I grinned. “Still neither of us should be driving. I guess we’ll have to pass. Mostly because the way the moonlight is shimmering in your hair. We’ve reached a nasty juncture.”

“I know,” she sighed leaning a little closer to me. “We really need to stop doing this. And even if we are tempted, again. We can’t bunk together tonight.”

“We might have to,” I laughed. “I have a feeling Sandy is still passed out in your room.”

“Huh!” She laughed. “Knowing Pops the sofa is already made up for one of us.”

“Probably me,” I groaned. “I swear you’re the favorite.”

“Knock that off,” she laughed once again her arm slipping around my waist.

I could hear sounds of the party dying down. I knew that I should move yet I was unable to. Her eyes held me captive. “Oh this is bad,” I whispered. “It reminds me of that party. Standing under a big oak tree; the moonlight glimmering in your hair. I really want to bunk with you tonight.”

“And we need to stop bunking together,” she finished for me. “Whew,” she blew out. “Not tonight.”

“So we call a cab?” I regrettably offered.

“Not what I meant,” she purred. “Tonight is a celebration. We can call a cease fire in the morning.”

“A taxi into the city and we crash at my place?” I eagerly suggested.

“Or?” She gave me a rakish grin. “This is a hotel. How about we call the folks, let them know we’re safe. I have some extra bread saved up. I’ll go bribe that nice bartender and get us another bottle of bubbly while you get us a room?”

“My God you’re brilliant,” I gleefully exclaimed. “I’ll meet you at the front desk.”

I rushed toward the exit stopping to say goodnight to Cindy and Frank. “Great party and congrats.” I hugged the both of them.

“Not a date, huh?” Cindy tormented me.

“Long story,” I rolled my eyes.

“Where have you been hiding her?” Frank blew out in appreciation. “You know she looks like that stuck up witch what’s her name, Laura?”

“Twin sister,” Cindy clarified. “I know hard to believe since Virginia is so nice. Oh Ellen, just so you know we booked a block of rooms just use Frank’s last name for the discount.”

“I love you guys,” I hugged them once again.

“And we want details,” Frank called out as I made a bee line for the front desk.

“Not a chance,” I called back over my shoulder.

Ginny was beaming when she caught up with me. “Ready?” She smirked holding up a bottle of champagne.

“All set,” I concurred holding up the room key. “I even got us a discount.” I boasted pressing the button for the elevator.

“Did you call?” Ginny questioned once we were in the elevator.

“Yes,” I smiled. “Mom is very proud of us for not driving after indulging.”

“You know what will be nice? Not that I dislike your apartment,” she carefully began.

“I know it’s too small,” I sighed.

“I was referring to that neighbor of yours,” she corrected me. “The one who pounds on the wall every time she thinks we are too loud. Can’t watch the Flintstones in peace.”

“Yeah that’s when Phyllis bangs on the walls,” I scoffed.

“I’m not the noise maker,” she grinned.

“Yes, you are,” I debated as we stepped off the elevator.

“Hey I spent five years in the big house,” she argued. “Trust me I know how to be quiet.”

“Tonight you don’t have to be,” I taunted her jamming the key in the hole.

“Open the door,” she breathlessly begged.

“Open the champagne,” I demanded throwing the door open.

I was in her arms. A loud pop echoed throughout the room, followed by the sound of her kicking the door closed. “Do not disturb,” I reminded her snagging the bottle.

“Right,” she gasped for air.

I searched for glasses as she hung the sign on the door before locking it behind us. I offered her a glass as we climbed onto the bed. She toasted my success before we drank our champagne. We drank a little more before becoming wrapped up in the task of removing the other’s clothing. We were naked and wrapped up in one another’s arms in record time. We touched and tasted every inch of the other’s flesh. It felt so good to caress her body. The sharp gasps she would expel each time I raked my nails along her trembling skin. Ginny worshiped by my body leaving no part untouched or satisfied.

Our love making was frenzied that night. We were fueled on by the knowledge that we were teetering on the edge of ending this aspect of our relationship. It was time to put up or shut up. Hitting the sheets every time she blew into town wasn’t working. If she wasn’t going to stay and I wasn’t going to follow her we needed to stop acting like lovers. I had serious doubts that I would ever be strong enough to refuse her.

I awoke the next morning sated and spent. Ginny was naked lying on her stomach while I was happily nestled on top of her. I loved the feel of our sweaty naked flesh pressed together. I kissed her shoulder tenderly. “I love waking up this way,” I murmured softly.

“On top?” She giggled.

“Absolutely,” I boasted.

“Hmm,” she sighed happily. “We have to get up.”

“Oh God the walk of shame,” I groaned slipping off her body.

“The what?” She laughed rolling over exposing her glorious naked form.

“You know,” I poked her in the ribs. “The morning after. No change of clothes. Sticking your underwear in your purse. Only today we get to do it by strolling through a fancy hotel lobby before arriving at my parent’s house.”

“At least we can shower first,” she surmised before stealing a kiss.

It was only mildly embarrassing checking out knowing that each of us had our undergarments and pantyhose tucked safely away in our purses. We found Ron sitting on the curb looking like Monday morning in hell. “Rough night Tiger?” I teased him laughing when his bloodshot gaze looked up at us.

“You have no idea,” he groaned. “I was going to call a cab when I saw the Chevy still sitting in the parking lot.”

“Come on Romeo, we’ll give you a lift,” Ginny laughed handing the valet the parking stub.

“Can we put the top down?” Ron whined as we headed down the highway. “I’m not feeling quite up to snuff.”

“Not a chance bucko,” Ginny chided him. “We have wet hair. So last night wasn’t all hearts and flowers?” She taunted even further.

“She wanted to talk,” he grunted. “Not that I minded. But she wanted to talk about the guy who just dumped her.”

“Poor baby,” I snickered.

“Don’t,” he cautioned me. “I’m not a pig. But listening to her expel this idiot’s virtues wasn’t what I had hoped for. I tried to tell her she could do better. Sara wouldn’t listen. So we drank way too much. Finally she fell asleep and I sat up all night watching television until it went off the air. And how was your night ladies?”

“Fabulous,” I boasted snuggling closer to Ginny.

“I hate you both,” Ron snorted with disgust before drifting off to sleep in the backseat.

“Time to wake up sleeping beauty,” Ginny snickered when we pulled up in front of the O’Keefe’s home.

“Yo, Ron up and Adam!” I shouted jolting him out of his slumber. “I’d walk you to the door but your parents hate me.”

He grunted and groaned as he stumbled out of the back. He waved to us as he stumbled up the walkway. When we arrived at my parent’s home, Dad took one look at us shook his head and walked away. “Oops,” I grimaced knowing he wanted to say something, but what could he say without admitting that he knew what we were up to.

“Good morning, Mom,” I called out finding her in the living room folding up some sheets she had obviously laid out on the sofa.

“Good afternoon is more like it,” she tsked handing Ginny the bundle of linen. “You might want to put these on your bed. Sandy got sick a couple of times during the night.”

“She’s still here?” I gaped.

“Oh yes,” Mom grimly nodded. “If the two of you would be so kind, could you get Cinderella’s butt in gear?”

“We’re on it,” Ginny promised. “Can’t believe she’s still here. I knew she was buzzed when she showed up yesterday but this is ridiculous.”

“Gross,” I grimaced when we opened the door to Ginny’s room. It reeked of booze and vomit. Sandy was hanging halfway off the bed oblivious to our entrance. There was a used pot sitting next to the bed. I snapped open the window shades before opening the windows. Ginny knelt by the bed to check on our charge.

“Come on, Sandy,” she gently tapped her head.

“Fuck off,” Sandy snarled turning over and burying her face.

“No way was that from a couple of beers,” I grimly surmised. “Sandy!” I shouted causing her to bolt up. Her eyes rolled back and we grabbed her just before she could collapse. “Shower time.”

“For fucks sake,” Sandy wailed as we dragged her towards the bathroom.

“Out of the way Sam,” Ginny cautioned as we dragged Sandy into the bathroom.

Sandy cursed up and down as we stripped her and tossed her into an icy cold shower. She fought the entire time while we kept shoving her back into the cold water. We only released her a couple of times so she could get sick. Finally, she emerged looking like drowned rat. We wrapped her in a bundle of towels and dragged her back to Ginny’s room. Ginny tore through her belongings and found a pair of jeans and a worn sweatshirt. “Get dressed.” She coldly informed our shivering friend. Then Ginny gathered up some belongings and we retreated to my room and changed our clothing.

“What is she on?” Ginny miserably questioned. We headed back towards her room.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “All I know is it has gotten worse since Bobby died.”

“What did we do last night?” Sandy croaked out looking like death warmed over.

“We?” I sputtered. “You passed out and we went to a party.”

“You ditched me?” She whined indignantly.

“You were down for the count,” Ginny scolded her. “What gives? Sandy you’re killing yourself.”

“I’m fine,” she blew us off.

“You don’t even remember last night and you say you’re fine?” I tried to reason with her.

“So, I partied?” Sandy reasoned. “What’s the game plan for today?”

“We’re taking you home,” I insisted.

“Oh come on,” Sandy protested. “This is a celebration.”

“Party over,” I corrected her. “We need to fumigate Ginny’s room and have dinner with the family. I’m heading back to the city tonight.”

“We can go out,” Sandy continued to argue.

“I’m starting my new job in the morning,” I cut her down. “Now stand up.”

“Bitchy was never your forte,” she grumbled wobbling as she tried to stand. We moved quickly each grabbing one arm to prevent her from falling again. On the drive home she sat in the backseat scowling at us. She was pissed by the time we dropped her off.

“She’s a mess,” Ginny concluded as we drove back home.

“I’ve tried talking to her,” I sighed. “She gets angry every time I try to reason with her. I’m worried about her.”

“You can’t save her from herself,” Ginny grimly noted pulling into the driveway. “Home again. How much flack are we in for?”

“Hard to say,” I reasoned as we climbed out of the car. “Chances are they’ll just ignore our absence last evening.”

“About that,” she cleared her throat. “I had a great time last night.”

“Me too,” I smiled over at her. “So,” I tentatively began. “Are we enacting our new treaty? Or will you be accompanying me back to Boston.”

“I shouldn’t,” she frowned. “Yeah, I could spend a couple of days in the city.”

“Okay,” I shrugged knowing that once again we failed to resolve anything and not really caring that we hadn’t.

She stayed for a week until the limited space and my new work hours got under her skin. I dropped her off at South Station and with a quick goodbye she was off again this time heading towards New York. I don’t why she chose New York she just did.

I threw myself into my new career, passed the bar exam on the first try and began my life as a lawyer. When you begin your law career you start at the very bottom. Which was fine by me. I got to learn a lot and it gave me time to expand my investigation into Ginny’s case. Every once in awhile the airport in New York was fogged in and Sonya was rerouted to Boston. I enjoyed Sonya and her adventurous spirit yet I was growing tired of it. My time with Sonya often left me feeling vacant. I knew that the day I would be suddenly unavailable for one of her impromptu visits was nearing.

PART TEN

1965

This was the year that Malcolm X was assassinated, the Watts riots rocked the country, Ed White became the first US astronaut to walk in space and LBJ sent more troops to Vietnam. We mourned the losses of Winston Churchill, Stan Laurel and Nat King Cole. Simon and Garfunkel introduced us to The Sounds of Silence, The Mamas and The Papas sang about Monday, Monday and Nancy Sinatra told us that These Boots Are Made For Walkin. And I met the most incredible woman.

Loretta Marino worked as a junior A.D.A for the district attorney’s office. The first time I saw the tall, dark, curly haired woman I was assisting one of the senior lawyers with a case. I wasn’t second chair; I was more like a glorified paper shuffler. Still actually being in the court room was a boost. Normally a lowly first year associate wouldn’t even see the inside of a courtroom. Then Miss Marino waltzed in and I was positively smitten. For the first time in years I was really interested in someone.

Loretta was the second chair on a case concerning the son of one of my firm’s wealthier clients. Little Donny Weber got caught with a stash of pot. Not a huge deal, but the police found a gun on him as well. Now that transgression really got Donny in trouble. The police had the over privileged booger on the ropes. The best we could hope for was a plea bargain. Not one of my favorite methods, yet in this case it was the only way to save our client.

The higher powers were dealing with the nuts and bolts of the case and I was day dreaming about Loretta. It was really a drag that I couldn’t speak with her, opposing council and all that rubbish. Donny got off with a slap on the wrist and I finally got my chance to talk to Loretta. It was a short conversation, I said hello. She nodded and walked away.

My next encounter with the delightful Miss Marino was far more interesting. Once again we were adversaries. This time for some bizarre reason I was second chair. Perhaps it was because the lead council was Richard Rockwell one of the named partners at my firm. He thought the case was beneath him. True to big firm fashion he dumped the work load on little old me. When the trial began Mr. Rockwell’s interest waned even further. I ended up picking up the slack and managed to get our client acquitted. It was Loretta’s first solo trial and I managed to whoop her butt. Not the best way to impress a girl, but I did have a duty to our client who was a shady little stinker. Adding insult to injury not only did my boss take credit for the win, my dream girl Loretta hated me.

“That’s her,” I nudged Ron who had joined me for lunch at a little luncheonette near the courthouse. “Don’t look.” I scolded him when he went to turn.

“Then how am I going to see her?” He whispered sneaking a peek over his shoulder. “Very nice. Are you sure that she is one of yours?”

“Almost positive,” I respond in a hushed whisper. “Of course the only conversation I’ve had with her was limited to, ‘objection your honor, assumes facts not in evidence,’ do you think she took that the wrong way?”

“Oh no,” he shook his head. “Shaming her on her first case as lead counsel is the way to a woman’s heart. Ellen, give it time. I wouldn’t try asking her out right now. For starters if you’re wrong, she could have you arrested.”

“Good point,” I scrunched my brow still watching Miss Marino eating what appeared to be a salad.

“What happened to the Swiss song bird?” He teased me.

“Sonya?” I shrugged. “It gets a bit tedious waiting for JFK to get fogged in.”

“A stewardess. A tall blonde extremely hot stewardess!” He grumbled. “I really, really hate you. I can’t remember the last time I had a date.”

“Who has time to date?” I groaned. “We’re working sixteen to seventeen hour days. With no credit I might add. My time with Sonya resembles nothing close to dating. It is more like I’m in Boston want to visit my hotel room? Maybe some day we’ll have time for a social life.”

“All part of paying our dues,” he reminded me. “Speaking of which we better get back to the office or old man Rockwell will have our heads. Take one last look.” He nodded towards Loretta. I released a sigh before following after him.

The hours I was keeping didn’t afford any kind of social life. The closest thing I had to a social life was mooning over Miss Marino anytime I was fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of her in the halls of the courthouse. One afternoon all of that changed. I was grabbing a cup of coffee before heading to the courthouse to file paperwork for Mr. Manning another over paid partner at the firm. “Miss Druette,” her deep, rich voice cooed beside me.

“Uhm Miss Marino,” I gulped accepting my cup of coffee. “How are you?”

“Good,” she nodded politely before placing her order. “Unless, of course, you’re on the docket against me today.”

“No,” I quickly blurted out. “Even if by some miracle I was, I’d only be second chair if I’m lucky. Today I’m just filing papers.”

“Why is that?” She curiously inquired paying for her coffee.

“I’m the new kid on the block,” I nervously stammered. “I only passed the bar a couple of months ago.”

“What?” She gasped as we stepped out onto the street. “You’re a rookie? I was trashed by some wet behind the ears kid. Well, that makes me feel better.”

“I’m sorry,” I profusely apologized. “Rockwell barely stayed awake during the trial, I had to do something.”

“Don’t apologize,” she finally smiled. “You kicked my butt fair and square. I still say your client deserved to go to prison.”

“Hey,” I suddenly got indignant.

“No offense,” she quickly retreated. “Have you ever thought of switching sides?”

“Excuse me?” I choked on my coffee. ‘She couldn’t be implying what I think she is?’

“Work for the good guys,” she clarified.

“I am.” I grunted.

“Are you?” She challenged me.

“Yes, I am,” I sternly asserted. “I’ve seen the downside of what your office is capable of.”

“Ah, a true believer,” she grinned as we mounted the courthouse steps.

“Lady you have no idea.”

“Well I’m due in court,” she shyly began. “Perhaps we could discuss this matter further say over dinner?”

“I don’t get a lot of free time,” I stammered like a buffoon. “Rookie year and all.”

“Yes, I remember it far too well,” she offered with a sympathetic smile. “If you get a break,” she added quickly scribbling something on her business card. “My number.”

“Thank you,” I felt ten feet tall when I accepted the card. Our fingers brushing ever so slightly sending a delightful tingle through my body. I felt dizzy just watching her walking towards the courtroom. I finally expelled a happy sigh before dropping off my paperwork and heading back towards the office.

“I got her number,” I gloated when I passed by Ron’s desk waving Loretta’s business card for emphasis.

“You are evil,” he pouted. “She’s the enemy.”

“She’s hot and I’m tired of wishing for something that is never going to happen,” I finally confessed.

“You can’t have what you never asked for,” Ron tried to reason with me.

“I can’t ask for something that isn’t being offered,” I choked out my eyes welling up with tears. “Time to start living.”

I waited an entire week before I called Loretta. I didn’t want to appear overly anxious. My hands were shaking as I rolled the numbers on the telephone dial. “Miss Marino’s office.” A pleasant voice greeted me.

“This is Eleanore Druette may I speak with Miss Marino?” I politely requested despite the way my heart was hammering against my chest.

“Miss Druette,” her voice resonated when she greeted me. “How is my favorite rookie?”

“Swamped,” I giggled slightly blushing when I realized that I had actually giggled. “I do have an opening this weekend if you’re still interested in breaking bread with the enemy.”

“Friday?” She encouraged.

“Splendid,” I beamed and we began to hammer out the details. During our conversation I couldn’t quite get a bead on whether or not this was a date or a job interview. “Interesting,” I furrowed my brow once the call had come to an end.

That Friday evening I decided to look my best without going over board. No need scaring the girl off. Plus if this wasn’t a date, I could get into some serious trouble if I tried to cross the line. I decided to play it cool, test the waters and see where the evening took us. If the evening took a romantic turn, I promised myself that I wouldn’t take a tour of her apartment. Not just yet anyway. I really liked this woman and this time I didn’t want to rush into things. In the past jumping the gun had only led to insurmountable drama.

The restaurant she had selected was very nice, not overly elegant which only added to my confusion. It was quaint enough for a date and casual enough to be nothing more than a friendly get together. She greeted me with a brilliant smile, complimented my attire and led me to our table. Her actions were polite and friendly further confusing me as to just what the evening meant to her.

Over dinner we discussed our work, without going into detail since that would have been a major no-no. She did try to sway me into jumping ship and coming to work for her office. I flatly refused. I was vague about my reasons only explaining that I had a dear friend who had gotten a bum rap. We enjoyed a very fine bottle of wine; I was impressed that she always looked me directly in the eyes whenever she spoke to me. Her shimmering, dark brown eyes simply made me quiver. When dessert and coffee arrived we moved into more personal areas of conversation.

The dance had begun each of us testing the waters discreetly revealing that neither of us was involved without coming out. I hated the tango we were obligated to dance, just so we could know whether or not we were sharing a meal or on a date. It was the way things were. Unless you met a girl in a bar you had no idea. You could guess, even be correct and still land in trouble.

When the check arrived she insisted on paying, claiming that dinner was her idea. Check one in the date column. Then she suggested going for a walk. Another check in the date column. Except the walk was nice, even a little romantic and also very friendly. That one went in the I don’t have a clue column. Along the stroll I suggested getting together again. She eagerly accepted. Another check in the win column. Until I suggested going out on Sunday. She had church. Okay she’s Italian not a huge surprise that she’s catholic. The crucifix dangling from her neck was another clear sign that she was catholic. Not a good sign. Even though the church was meeting to update their practices, I doubt same sex relationships would ever be accepted by the church.

It wasn’t a good sign. I was prepared to throw in the towel and accept friendship when Loretta suggested going out next Friday night. Interesting to say the least, Friday night was then and remains to this day date night. Was she asking me out on a date? Or did she want to be friends or was she simply trying to woo me over to the prosecutor’s office?

“Friday should be good,” I tried to sound blasé. “I might be running a little late. I have a ton of work.”

“It never stops,” she sighed inhaling the night air before flashing me the sweetest smile.

“Thank goodness,” I laughed it off. “Or we’d be out of work.”

“True,” she nodded the tender smile still plastered on her face. “So,” she hesitated when we approached a brownstone. “This is my place.” She stammered slightly.

“Oh?” I smiled leaning a little too close to her. I stood there waiting. She had that look in her eyes. The one that screams I want to kiss you. I happily reciprocated her glazed over look; waiting for a goodnight kiss, a hug or an invitation to come up for coffee. Nothing, nada, zippo. All I got was I had fun this evening and goodnight. She went inside and I hailed a taxi. Now that was a big check in its never going to happen column.

I was really confused as to what was up with Loretta. How funky is it that you spend several hours with someone and not know whether or not you were on a date? There were very few people I could talk to about it. Evelyn was one of those people. She had a date the night before as well and was up for a little girl talk. I went over to her place for dinner and conversation.

“You went on a date on a Friday night?” I taunted her while we waited for the pizza we had ordered to be delivered. “Do your parents know?”

“My parents still think I’m a virgin and Erika hasn’t met the right guy yet,” she scowled. “Of course I’d still be a virgin if I hadn’t believed Simon when he led me to believe that he wanted to marry me. If my mother ever found out that I wasn’t innocent and I went out with a Protestant last night she’d be sitting Shiva for a year. Now what’s her name?”

“Loretta.” I blushed.

“Good looking?” She pried.

“Extremely,” I boldly smirked. “In a Sophia Loren kind of way. And what about your escort from last evening?”

“Wally and he’s cute in a Buddy Holly kind of way,” she furiously blushed.

“Buddy Holly?” I shook my head. “Don’t get me wrong I loved his music but are you saying Wally has a square hair cut and big thick glasses?”

“He’s adorable.” She swatted me.

“That would be yes,” I laughed. “And what does Wally do for a living?”

“Don’t laugh,” she begged. “He’s an accountant.”

“Oh those square points are racking up,” I laughed.

“And Loretta?”

“She’s a lawyer,” I countered with a cocky grin.

“Sweet,” Evelyn complimented me. “Does she work at the same firm? An office romance, very steamy.”

“Uhm,” I hedged. “No, she’s with the DA’s office.”

“Oops,” she cringed. “And you want to devote your career to defending criminals. Not to mention clearing the name of a certain old flame of yours.”

“Accused criminals,” I growled. “And I think I should wait before bringing Ginny up. Ron, among others, seem to think that perhaps the women in my life might stick around longer if I didn’t talk so much about my ex.”

“He’s right. Still this does put you on opposite sides,” she cautioned. “Very Adam’s Rib. The lesbian version of Hepburn and Tracy.”

“Didn’t you find that movie a tad sexist?” I fussed thankfully that the buzzer had rung announcing the arrival of our dinner.

“I find most movies sexist,” she scoffed as she answered the door. She placed the pizza carton down on the coffee table. “I’ll get the plates and a bottle of wine. Maybe two then we might just be able to figure out our love lives. Where did you guys eat last night?” She called out from the kitchen.

“The Pier,” I shouted in response cracking open the pizza box allowing the steam to escape.

“Nice, causal yet cozy,” she complimented handing me a glass of wine. “Nice choice for a first date.”

“If it was a date,” I interjected sipping my wine. “And where did Wally take you?”

“Top of the Hub,” she gloated plopping down on the sofa.

“Oh, nice,” I gushed feeling a tad jealous since I had yet to visit the new restaurant that literally overlooked the entire city. “And bonus points for Wally. A bean counter who isn’t a tightwad. Very cool.”

“He’s so sweet,” she sighed happily. “He even brought me flowers. I can’t remember the last time a guy gave me flowers. This whole sexual revolution is great but it is screwing with romance. Look who I’m talking to. You’ve never been a romantic.”

“What?” My jaw dropped. “I’m very romantic.”

“When?” She challenged me. “Ellen, you are one of my best friends. I’d trust you with my life but I’d have to kill you if you ever tried to date my sister. You, my friend, are a little too fast. Thankfully Erika met the right one from the get go. Trudy was her first and will be her last.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice,” I sighed wistfully. “That’s the way it should be. They met in college fell in love and walked off into the sunset together. What I wouldn’t give for that first big crush to be the one.”

“That’s part of your problem,” Evelyn chastised me. “For you, the first one really was the one but life got in the way. Ever since then you’ve jumped from one girl to the next. There was that string of girlfriends in college. I don’t even want to go into how you bedded a woman in every country you hit in Europe, there was that chick who was a roadie for some band and now there’s that stewardess who shows you her friendly skies every time she drops into town. I hate the way you talk about these women. They’re nothing more than conquests to you. Except, the one woman who you never use some colorful euphemizing to describe your sex-capades. With Ginny it is always we made love. Ellen, I’ve met Ginny she’s great. Having said that may I add it has been almost a decade. She ain’t coming home. Not to stay. Which is why I’m thrilled to see you all gaga over someone new.”

“I still don’t know if I had a date with Loretta,” I reminded her. “That is why I’m here and to figure out how we are going to tell your parents that you’re dating a Protestant. Still they treat Trudy like she’s family.”

“They pretend that she’s Erika roommate and she has her Ph.D so it’s all good,” she shrugged. “Anytime they can drop the word doctor into a conversation, they’re thrilled. And she’s Jewish.”

“Speaking of religion, which I never do,” I carefully began. “Loretta’s Catholic. I found out when I invited her to go out tomorrow but she has church. I’m worried that might be a problem.”

“Hmm,” Evelyn mulled over the information. “Well, Jews and Catholics have guilt and a lot of uptight rules to follow in common. Other than that I don’t know much about it. Still going to church might be a family thing. Does she live with her family?”

“What?” I shook my head. “She’s got to be at least three years older than us. Why would she still be living at home? Then again she didn’t invite me in.”

“Another new experience for you,” she laughed before digging into the pizza.

“You know,” I snarled. “I am not the wanton hussy you seem to think I am.”

“Hugh Hefner doesn’t get as much tail as you do,” she scoffed. “You do know that even in this day and age a lot of women our age are still virgins. Waiting for your wedding night has not gone out of style.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed at the notion. “And may I remind you that marriage isn’t in the cards for me.”

“I’m not criticizing you,” she defended herself. “Just at times it seems like you use that as an excuse. Erika and Trudy waited for almost a year before they were truly intimate.”

“Wow,” I choked on my wine. “Maybe I am promiscuous. No wonder Ron is always telling me that he hates me. Never mind. Back to Sir Wally. What did you do after he wined and dined you?”

“It was so romantic,” she gasped. “We went for a walk, holding hands the whole time. He escorted me to my door. We shared a very tender and I must say very nice goodnight kiss. And we’re going out again next week. What happened with Loretta?”

“Well,” I grimaced. “After a very nice dinner which she picked up the tab for we went for a stroll. We did not hold hands. I walked her to her door and we did not kiss goodnight and we’re going out again next week. So am I dating her? Or are we just friends?”

“Have you considered asking her?” She tried to reason with me.

“Did you miss the part about her working for the DA’s office?” I grimaced. “If I’m wrong, trying to kiss her may only be a misdemeanor which wouldn’t lead to my disbarment but I’m still pretty sure I’d get fired from that uptight law firm I work for. Loretta seems to be very zealous when it comes to her job. If she’s not a lesbian and she finds out that I am it could get me in trouble.”

“What?” She stammered. “I don’t get it.”

“Homosexual acts are illegal,” I spelled out for her. “It is her sworn duty to uphold the law. As you annoyingly pointed out I’ve broken the law many times. And if she is a good Catholic girl, forget it. Swapping spit with another girl is a major no-no with them. Then again I have gone out dancing with a lot of girls on Sunday nights who spent Sunday morning in church. I really like her. So, how do I come out to her without landing in jail?”

“Good question,” she scrunched her brow. “Still you went on a Friday night. And next week when are you seeing her again?”

“Friday night.” I confirmed.

“Date night,” she processed. “Well it is. You ask someone out on a Friday night it’s a date. No straight girl would invite a friend out to dinner two Fridays in a row. Not if the both of you are single. Unless of course you’re butt ugly and can’t get a date. No self respecting woman spends two Friday nights in row home alone or chumming with a girlfriend.”

“You have such a twisted sense of logic,” I downed my wine. “And accurate. Everywhere we went, the restaurant and around the city, all I saw were couples.”

“Because it is date night,” she stressed. “I know you’re use just sleeping with women and dating is a foreign concept, but this is how it works.”

“So why Friday and not Saturday?” I tried to understand.

“Saturday is for hanging out with your friends,” she explained to me. “Although dating on a Saturday is okay if you’ve been going together for awhile. Or you’re still in high school.”

“I think I’m getting the hang of this,” I shrewdly surmised. “Even in high school if I went on a date on a Saturday it was with a group of people. On Friday it was always just the two of us. Humans are such odd creatures.”

“No kidding,” she laughed. “We go out on Friday and spend Saturday pigging out on pizza and gossiping. Isn’t being an adult fabulous?”

“It’s a freaking trip,” I laughed. “So what you’re saying is that right now Wally is out with his friends guzzling beer and talking about sports?”

“Absolutely,” she confirmed as we polished off the pizza. “I can probably guess which bar he and his cronies are hanging out in. As for Loretta she’s probably scarfing down ice cream with her girlfriends and talking about you.”

“You’re that sure it was date?” I eagerly questioned her.

“Except for the no goodnight kiss,” she pondered pouring more wine for the both of us. “That’s a little tricky.”

“For half a second I thought she might,” I confessed. “When she didn’t I let it slide. I promised myself that this time I am going to take things slowly.”

“Another new experience,” she gloated.

“No,” I playfully swatted her. “I took things slowly with Ginny. Kind of. Well, sort of. It’s weird. Before I kissed her that first time, I swear I never really thought that much about sex. After that first kiss I couldn’t keep my hands off of her.”

“I thought Pandora’s Box was opened after you made out with her sister,” she caught me in my little fib.

“Right, the freak,” I groaned. “Okay fine. After Laurie kissed me I started thinking a lot about sex. But it was Ginny who most definitely hit the on button.”

“Still does,” Evelyn sighed. “What happens the next time Wonder Woman blows into town?”

“If I’m seeing someone, Ginny never crosses the line,” I explained. “She’s very stubborn when it comes to that. Strange since I don’t give a damn whether or not I’m involved.”

“Because it would end your friendship,” Evelyn smacked me.

“What? No way,” I refuted.

“Yes, it would,” Evelyn sternly countered. “If you end up getting serious about someone and hit the sheets with Ginny, she couldn’t stay in your life. Your enduring friendship is amazing. And it is more than obvious that you care deeply for one another. A lover can look past that. Cheating and trying to remain friends with the person you banged on the other hand, ain’t gonna fly. Would you put up with that? Oh, sure Honey go have dinner with the woman you had an affair with, I’ll understand.”

“Oh sure,” I snarled. “Right after I set her belongings on fire. Wow, I finally get why Ginny was so insistent that we never cross that line.”

“You always said she was smart,” Evelyn confirmed. “Crossing that line would ruin your relationship. I still don’t get why you keep sleeping together. Time and time again you’ve told me that the two of you had decided that you should stop sleeping together. Then she strolls into town and you’re buck naked. What’s up that?”

“I don’t know,” I grumbled. “We’ve talked about it and talked about it. The ship sailed. The physical side of our relationship is over. Or at least it should be over by now. Then one of us looks at the other in just the right way and bam we’re making love. Whenever she’s near me I feel like a junkie in need of a fix. It is always great and then she’s gone.”

“Ever think about asking her to stay longer? You know to try and find out if the passion would last more than a couple of weeks?” Evelyn sputtered.

“I can’t,” I spat out. “She’s still trying to find herself.”

“She’s twenty-six years old,” Evelyn scolded me. “Excuse me but finding herself shouldn’t be a problem at this juncture. Never mind staying in one place more than a month how about finding a job that lasts longer than a week?”

“Not fair.” I flared.

“Why because she has a record?” Evelyn tried to reason with me. “A lot of people move past that.”

“A convicted sex offender?” I harshly spat out. “Being a lesbian is hard enough. Having it on your permanent record is hell. Ask Erika when was the last time she and Trudy held hands in public? Last night even if Loretta offered to hold my hand we couldn’t. If we did some idiot would probably beat us up or worse. Sorry I don’t mean to go off on you, but you don’t get it. Last night you and Wally never had to think twice about holding hands in public. Granted if this is serious for you guys, you are going to have a major problem. It’s not fair just because your Jewish and he’s not people are going to freak. Well that’s quite a soapbox I’ve gotten myself on.” I finally blew out.

“I did give you a boost,” she smiled. “I worry. Okay let’s focus on the here and now. That would be a lovely ADA named Loretta, who you may or may not be dating.”

“And a certain charming chap,” I added with a nudge. “And how we are going to get your parents warmed up to the idea of having him around.”

“Jumping the gun a bit on that one,” she laughed. “I guess the both of us will have a better idea of what is going on after next Friday night.”

The following Friday evening I was more confused than ever. Loretta and I shared a wonderful dinner at another cozy restaurant. The conversation was stimulating, I was captivated by every word she uttered. Then dinner was over and we argued about who would pay the check. I won by pointing out that she had paid the last time. I paid the check and then it was time to find an excuse, any excuse, to extend our evening. Normally I’d suggest going out dancing. Somehow I didn’t think that Loretta would be comfortable patronizing an establishment she might have to have raided at a later date.

“I’m having a great time,” she quietly confessed.

“So am I.” I confirmed with a bright smile. My stomach was fluttering; my hands were clammy. All in all I was a mess. Oddly it felt nice to be all aquiver over someone. Evelyn was right; it had been a long time since I took the romantic route. Then again it raised the nagging question, was this romance or was I simply delusional? “I don’t really want to call it a night.” I threw out hoping that she would agree with me.

“Neither do I,” she smiled blushing ever so slightly. “We could go somewhere for coffee?”

“I’d like that,” I nodded still grinning like an idiot. Of course my mind was hoping that by coffee she was suggesting that we either head back to her place or mine. I wasn’t eager to rush things. I just assumed that if we didn’t have an audience I might have a better idea of what her intentions were.

“There’s a nice place not far from here,” she began to recommend once again dashing my hopes. “I just need to call home and let my parents know I’ll be out later than planned.”

“You live with your parents? That’s nice,” I lied complete with a fake smile plastered on my face. “You know my place isn’t all that far. We could just go there?” I tried to sound casual. My thought process was more focused on being alone with her and since her place wasn’t an option I tried for plan b.

“Oh, I don’t know,” she squirmed in her seat. I had seen the same frightened look in her eyes once before. It was when I nailed one of her witness during my cross examination. “Do you have roommates?”

“No,” I cautiously tested the waters.

“This place is really nice,” she blurted out. “And the desserts are to die for. We should try there.”

‘Strike one for the defense,’ I shuddered before agreeing to go to the place she seemed so keen on. The tiny coffee house was nice. Again we shared a great conversation and true to her word the desserts were fabulous. Since I lived so close by she escorted me home. I felt giddy walking along side of her. When we arrived at my front stoop, we just stood there in an awkward silence. I bolstered my courage and leaned a little closer. She leaned a little closer. My stomach was fluttering and then she blurted a hasty goodnight. Before I could stop her she was darting down the hill waving her hand frantically for a taxi.

The following evening Evelyn and I got together to split a pitcher of margaritas and swap stories. “I can’t believe you,” I sighed happily. “He shows up with chocolates this time. Takes you to another fancy restaurant and hasn’t tried to jump your bones? Does he have a sister?”

“No,” Evelyn sighed happily. “He is so nice and let me tell you the goodnight kiss got very heated. My poor neighbors got a little bit of a show. Enough about my night. How was your date?”

“I don’t know if it was a date.” I whined flagging down the waiter for another pitcher.

“Still?” She gasped. “How is that possible?”

“I’m cursed,” I hissed under my breath. “I love spending time with her. She’s brilliant, witty and fun to be with. When we talk I feel like there’s some flirting happening.”

“And?”

“And nothing,” I stammered. “She does live with her parents. So when she suggested coffee, I made the offer to go back to my place. The second she found out I live alone she nixed the idea.”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to rush things,” Evelyn rationalized. “What about at the end of the night?”

“Nada,” I scoffed. “I thought she might kiss me. Then all of sudden she bolted.”

“Not even a hug?” Evelyn choked on her drink. “We hug.”

“I didn’t even get a handshake,” I miserably explained. “Evelyn I swear, I’m not trying to put the moves on her. I just want to know if we’re dating or not. Did I rush things by suggesting coffee at my place? If we’re just friends that shouldn’t have been a big hairy deal, right?”

“No,” she agreed. “I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe she was put off by your suggestion. If she isn’t interested in you that way, but knows about you she could be letting you down easy. Or she is interested in you and feels that you’re rushing things. Or she’s insane. What did she say at the end of the evening?”

“Goodnight and then she did an imitation of The Flash,” I woefully related. “Just before she ran off we were standing outside my building. I leaned, she leaned and I thought wow I’m finally going to kiss her. Then bam she was out of there.”

“She did the lean?” Evelyn prodded with a curious gleam in her eyes.

“Most definitely,” I confirmed. “She leaned in and I got that quivering feeling. You know the one you get right before you kiss someone?”

“I know that feeling all too well,” she sighed happily. “Maybe she’s latent? This could be a new experience for her. Maybe she’s freaking out? You must have gone through that.”

“Hell yes,” I shivered at the memory. “I totally freaked early on with Ginny. All the questioning, what does this mean? Is it just her? What am I doing? I got over it really quickly.”

“You were really young though,” Evelyn theorized. “Loretta’s what almost thirty?”

“Scary stuff at any age,” I groaned resting my face in my hand. “What to do?”

“Leave it up to her,” Evelyn suggested. “Do you have plans to get together soon?”

“No, she was too busy running to ask me out again,” I grimaced playing with the salt on the rim of my glass. “You’re right. I’ll wait if she doesn’t call me I’ll have my answer.”

Loretta did call just a couple of days later. I wanted to say no when she suggested getting together again. I thought perhaps the both of us needed a little distance. I was weak and accepted another dinner invitation for Friday night. I was a mess torn between being thrilled at the prospect of spending time with Loretta and confused as to what Loretta wanted. Another part of me was miffed that she never said a word about her speedy exit. I know I hadn’t imagined it.

I did come to one conclusion. I needed to find out what was or wasn’t happening between us. In my infinite wisdom I decided that one way to find out was to step things up a notch. Nothing major just not being so subtle when I flirted with her. If she was frightened or flat out not interested this would be one sure fire way to find out. I arrived at the restaurant just a little early. I sat at the bar watching and waiting for her to arrive. Now that was something I missed about dating the waiting for them to arrive. When Loretta walked in my entire body quivered.

“You look amazing,” I complimented her brushing her arm ever so slightly. It wasn’t hard, she really did look amazing.

“Thank you,” she blushed. “So do you.”

I was encouraged by her reaction and offered her a drink again brushing my hand against her forearm. She shivered, releasing a tiny gasp before pulling away. I acted as if nothing had occurred again encouraged by the fact that when she retreated from my touch she didn’t appear to be offended. We sipped our drinks at the bar. I maintained a very close distance to her. Loretta didn’t seem to mind. When we were seated at the table we began chatting. Then I surprised her.

“I really enjoy our dinner dates,” I threw out casually while I pursued the menu.

“Uhm, so do I.” She stammered slightly.

I didn’t push; I just focused on the menu curious to see how she would react. “You know maybe next week,” she timidly began.

“Oh, I can’t,” I interrupted her. I hated playing games. I was just out of options. Loretta was stunned by my announcement. “Work.” I expanded. “You remember how it is. First year, big firm and nonstop paperwork. I’ve been lucky to get a little time in the courtroom.”

“You’re very gifted,” she complimented me with a smile that never reached her eyes. “Your firm is lucky to have you. Still I remember my first year out of school. You work your backside off for little or no credit. Chomping at the bit for a chance to prove yourself. Doesn’t leave time for a social life.” She grimly concluded.

“It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you,” I encouraged praying that I had opened the right door.

“I understand,” she earnestly offered just as the waiter decided to join us. “I really do understand Ellen.” She explained after we placed our order. “I am surprised that you opted for such a large firm where you might get lost in the shuffle. You seem so dedicated.”

“Money,” I confessed feeling slightly embarrassed by my admission. “I wanted to go with a smaller firm but they made me an offer I would have been an idiot to refuse. I figure I’ll put in my time, pay my dues and move on.”

“Not looking for a partnership?” She shook her head in confusion.

“At Diamond, Rockwell and Manning?” I laughed before taking a sip of my drink. “I doubt they’ll put a woman on the partnership track anytime in the near future. Another reason I’m not thinking of this as a permanent position.”

“You could always come and work for us?” She implored with a bright smile. “My office has noticed you. Then again you are hard not to notice.”

I stared at her for a moment pleasantly surprised that she was overtly flirting with me. “You do know how to flatter a girl,” I purred invoking another blush from my companion. “Or are you just wooing me for your boss?”

“Hmm,” she hummed with a bemused look. “Working together would be interesting. I think I’d miss facing off against you in the courtroom. I’m looking forward to a rematch.”

“Pity that it will take sometime before that will happen,” I sighed just as the waiter arrived with our food. “After all I’m still a rookie.”

“Oh, I have faith in you,” she softly murmured. “And I can be very patient.”

“Can you now?” I quipped not bothering to mask my underlying tone. “What if you don’t have to be?” I toyed with her leaning in just a little knowing that I was giving her a peek at my cleavage.

“Patience is a virtue,” she gulped seemingly flustered.

I leaned back when I noticed the way her eyes were darting around. She seemed relieved when my breasts made a retreat. I felt mildly disappointed still I was bolstered by our earlier banter. ‘How far should I push things?’ I silently pondered. We dug into our meals the conversation still flowing easily. I flirted and Loretta seemed to be reciprocating. Yet I was still uncertain. Dinner was over and once again we fought over the check. She won this time. Then we were left sitting there neither eager to call an end to the evening.

“Coffee?” I suggested.

“Sure,” she beamed pulling on her coat. “We can go back to,”

“Or once again we’re not that far from my apartment,” I cut her off.

“Didn’t you like Franco’s?” She stammered slightly when I stepped beside her.

“Yes, I did,” I smiled touching her arm. “I just thought it might be nice to go somewhere a little less crowded.”

“There are a lot of places we can go.” She tried to sound calm but I felt her body tensing.

“True,” I groaned guiding her outside. “Are you uncomfortable being alone with me?” I finally questioned tired of the game we were playing.

“Yes, I am.” She directly answered me.

“Why?” I pressed just a little harder.

“I think you know why,” her tone was soft and very frank.

“Honestly, no I don’t,” I confessed. “I’m not a stranger and despite what my mother says I do possess enough culinary skills to brew a pot of coffee.”

“It would just be coffee,” she stressed much to my discomfort.

“I think I should be offended,” I scowled. “Loretta if I am simply a pleasant dinning companion please just say so. Frankly you are confusing the bejesus out of me.”

“I don’t mean to,” she expelled a terse breath. “Ellen, I really enjoy spending time with you. I take the law very seriously.”

“So, do I,” my eyes lit up as I felt my ire growing. “Or didn’t you notice that when I whooped your butt?”

“Oh I noticed,” she offered with a brief smile. “I’m not talking about just the laws governed by the Commonwealth. God’s law. I fear that if I am alone with you I’ll give into temptation and sin.”

“Sin?” I drew out slowly.

“I know you don’t think it is a sin,” she grimaced.

“No, I don’t.” I sternly refuted glancing around quickly feeling certain that I must be on Candid Camera. Having failed to find Allen Funt lurking around the corner I pinned her down with a stern gaze.

“I do,” she sadly informed me. “I go to confession three times a week trying to overcome this.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” I carefully began. “I’m not an atheist. I believe in God. Religions on the other hand, real big problem. Mostly because they were created by men to control others.”

“I don’t agree with your assessment,” she trembled slightly.

I just nodded pondering what she was trying to tell me. It didn’t escape my notice that we were heading in the direction of my apartment. “Ellen,” Loretta’s voice was tense. “I’ve been down this road before.”

“Oh no,” I stopped dead in my tracks. “I’ve heard that song before. Just tell me what the heck is going on. Whatever is troubling you, please just tell me the truth.”

“You trouble me,” she choked out her eyes welling up with tears. “I thought I had finally put my demons to rest. Then I met you. Ellen, what you don’t seem to grasp is that when I say I’m a Catholic it isn’t simply a label. It is a big part of who I am.”

“Not all that you are,” I tersely blew out. “Are you ashamed of your feelings?”

“Deeply,” she stressed. “Father O’Malley said I was tempting fate by continuing to see you. He was right.”

“You’ve discussed me with your parish priest,” I meekly processed. “Wow. I thought being fodder for my old home town’s gossip mill was bad. Now I got a priest gunning for me.”

“Ellen,” she laughed. “I accept my sin. I just won’t no can’t, give into it. When I said I had been down this road before I was serious. If we keep seeing one another things can only go so far.”

“What are you saying?” I stumbled.

We had reached my building and apparently a breaking point. She just stood there collecting her thoughts. “If we keep seeing one another we can’t sin,” she slowly spelled out for me. “Even considering unnatural acts is a sin.”

“Then I’m in big trouble,” I teased trying to lighten the mood. “Sorry.” I quickly retreated. “Okay so how limited would things be? I have to be honest with you. I really want to keep seeing you.”

“Then you need to accept that anything beyond say holding hands is out of the question,” she fearfully informed me.

“Beg pardon?” My eyes widened in disbelief. “Not even kissing?”

“No, kissing,” she asserted. “No fondling. No making love or self gratification.”

I felt my body sliding, reaching out for the rail. I found myself sitting on the steps. She sat down beside me looking as if she had lost her best friend. “Haven’t you ever?” I blurted completely floored by what she was suggesting.

“No.” She proudly informed me. “Never.”

“None of those things?” I sputtered not knowing if I should applaud her convictions or try to talk some sense into her?

“I’ve desired them, which in itself a sin,” she blew out. “But I’ve stayed strong. I know I’m asking for the impossible.”

“Loretta,” I shook my head in an effort to clear my thoughts. “I have very strong feelings for you. I know I can be faithful. Monogamy is something that I want. I honestly don’t believe I can be celibate.”

“It is a difficult choice, especially during these troubled times,” she tried to comfort me.

“That’s the problem,” I reached out taking her hand in mine. “It’s not my choice. You and I don’t view the world in the same way. I’m a sexual person. For me giving myself to someone I’m in love with is a gift not a damnation.”

“Well this sucks,” she gave my hand a tight squeeze. “I knew it would end this way. Hurts just the same. You’re right we don’t view the world in the same light.”

“And yet one of the nicer break ups I’ve ever experienced,” I released a terse breath.

“Really?” She laughed before shaking her head. “It is. Most women just tell me to piss off. At least you listened.”

“I really admire your convictions,” I complimented her rising to my feet. “I just don’t share them. We could never have a future and I’ve had enough heartache in my life.”

“Ah, face it sex isn’t the only thing we’d have fought about,” she tried to comfort me. “I think criminals should be taught a lesson and you seem to want to save them.”

“Innocent until proven guilty,” I narrowed my gaze. “Can’t wait to face you in court again.”

“Should be interesting,” she quirked her brow. Before hugging me tightly. “I need to go.”

We wished one another well and she walked off. “I just have the worst taste in women,” I grumbled under my breath as I watched her walking out of my life. Then I dragged my sorry butt up to my tiny apartment which felt much smaller and emptier then it ever had felt before. I kicked off my shoes. Shed my clothing and changed into comfortable attire. I began to pace around the limited space my home provided. I needed to vent. To talk to someone who might understand. I knew Evelyn was more than likely still out with Wally.

I continued pacing wearing a path in the carpet. There was someone I could try to contact. Someone who would understand my plight. Would she feel comfortable talking about it with me? “Only one way to find out,” I reasoned picking up the phone hoping she was still at the same number. “Then again we’ve spent countless hours on the telephone talking about our menstrual cycles, why would she freak out about my latest dating fiasco?” I waited listening the ringing. “Hello,” a gruff voice barked.

“Virginia Swenson, please,” I sighed wearily recalling that she was living in a boarding house.

“Who?” The male voice belched. “Oh wait the quiet skinny chick? She’s gone.”

“When?” I groaned feeling thoroughly exasperated.

“Don’t know,” he barked. “A week, week and a half maybe two weeks? Can’t remember.”

“By any chance did she say where she was going?” I pleaded knowing it was fruitless.

“Tulsa, Phoenix some place like that,” he snorted. “Who the fuck knows? Not like she ever said much.” Then he unceremoniously hung up.

“Yeah, like she’d chat your ear off Bucko,” I hissed while spinning the dial. “Hi, Mom.”

“What’s wrong?” My mother fearfully greeted me.

“Nothing,” I whined not feeling up to playing yet another evasive game. “I was trying to get in touch with Ginny. You wouldn’t happen to know where she is would you?”

“What happened?” Mom’s paranoia continued.

“Nothing,” I stressed. “I just want to talk to Ginny. Geez.”

“No need to get huffy,” she cautioned me while I rolled my eyes. “Did you try her number in Sandusky?”

“Yes, I did,” I wearily droned. “She’s gone. As to when and where no one seems to know.”

“She must have gotten that job in Tacoma,” Mom theorized.

“Oh yeah that’s close to Tulsa,” I growled.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I groaned feeling completely exhausted. “What was the job?”

“Something to do with working in an office,” Mom tried to explain. “Are you sure that everything is alright.”

“Just business as usual, Mom,” I tried to sound calm. “Look if you hear from her before I do, could you let her know I’d like to talk to her?”

“Of course,” Mom promised. “Eleanore?”

“Mom,” I cut her off. “It’s nothing. I’m fine, the job is good and I’m eating right. I promise.”

“Well alright,” she begrudgingly accepted.

It took me another half an hour to end our little chat. “Bed.” I finally decided that sleep was the best course of action. I’d sleep in and call Evelyn the next day. The following evening Evelyn was sitting in my apartment; her eyes glazed over listening to my saga. “So? Any thought?” I prompted when I concluded recounting the events that happened just the night before.

“You’re right,” she slowly began. “You are cursed.”

“Nice to have confirmation,” I groaned fighting against the desire to smack my head against the wall. “Last night when Loretta explained everything, I was impressed by her convictions. Now, I can’t help thinking she’s a coward. She’d rather live a lie than be true to herself. Am I just being pissy?”

“Tough call,” Evelyn shrugged. “It was easy to follow my faith when I lived under my parent’s roof. After a little time on my own I no longer viewed things in the same light. I’m proud of my heritage but it isn’t all that I am. No more than you’re just a lesbian or a lawyer.”

“Oh, I get it,” I nodded furiously. “What I don’t get is if Loretta is that devoted then why didn’t she just become a nun? Or again am I just being a big sleaze bag?”

“You’re not a sleaze bag,” she nudged me. “Well, not entirely. Ellen after only three dates are you that into this woman that you can see yourself staying with her even if it means forever forsaking any physical contact?”

“No.” I flatly refused. “I really like Loretta but no. She doesn’t even believe in solo flights.”

“Excuse me?” Evelyn was taken aback.. “How does she handle, you know?”

“Apparently she doesn’t.” I shuddered.

“Work,” Evelyn shuddered along with me. “I know that sometimes passion can dim over time, but not even a kiss? That’s not a relationship, that’s friendship. Not even. You and I share more physical contact than what’s she offering.”

“At least she told me now before we got serious,” I blew out still trying to comprehend Loretta’s logic. “I might have spent months buzzing around her like a bee with honey. You think I was pitiful before that would have sent me over the edge. I might have adopted a hundred cats and bolted my door shut until the next ice age.”

“A little hurt now is better than being devastated later,” Evelyn solemnly agreed.

“I did try to call Ginny,” I mumbled half hoping she wouldn’t hear me.

“Because?”

“I needed someone to talk to,” I groaned burying my face in a pillow. “You were out. Sandy’s probably in a coma and Ron well he’s a guy. I needed some prospective.”

“So you called your ex?” Evelyn howled. “Oh, I’ll bet that helped.”

“I said I tried to call her,” I snapped. “She moved again. Mom thinks that maybe she’s in Tacoma.”

“That girl certainly gets around,” Evelyn frowned.

“Mom said something about a job,” I groaned. “With Ginny who knows she could be in Canada or Timbuktu. I won’t find out until she swings into town or drops a dime. I swear sometimes it was easier when she was in prison. At least then I knew where to find her.”

I went back to my life. Loretta and I would, indeed, meet up again in the courtroom. It happened much sooner than either of us expected. About a week after the break up I was summoned to Mr. Diamond’s office. When you’re an uppity wet behind the ears rookie being called to one of the big boss’ office only meant one thing or so I thought. I assumed that I had made some grievous error and was about to be canned. I was so certain that I had Ron pack up my meager belongings while I went to face the lions.

“Miss Druette,” he greeted me with a smile. Mr. Diamond was pushing fifty and was the youngest of the named partners. Another reason I naturally assumed that my days at the prestigious firm were numbered. “I understand that you’ve been doing a lot of the paperwork for the Marsdan case.” He got right to the point.

“Yes, sir,” I trembled wondering what error I had made and how much trouble our client was in.

“Good work from what I’ve been told,” he complimented me out of the blue. These guys never complimented a lowly first year associate. Unless of course they came from an affluent family. Being the daughter of a small town barber I held strong doubts that any of the higher ups knew my name.

“Uhm, thank you,” I almost fell over.

“I’d like you to second chair,” he directly informed me. “How quickly can you get up to speed?”

“I’m on it.” I stammered almost tripping over myself.

“Good to hear,” he noted thoughtfully. “I was a little concerned.”

“By?” I blew out feeling completely flustered by the turn of events.

“The legal community, no matter how large, can be very tight knit,” he cautiously began. “The other partners and I would be displeased if we lost our shinning star to the other side.”

“Begging your pardon, Mr. Diamond but what are you talking about?”

“It has come to my attention that you’ve been spending time with a member of the District Attorney’s office,” he directly informed me. “Two shinning stars sharing a meal more than once doesn’t go unnoticed.”

“Ah,” I nodded when it hit me. “Mr. Diamond rest assured I have no intention of ever working as a prosecutor. As you must realize within our small community female associates are rare. Much like bonding with your male advisories, Miss Marino and I, in lieu of golfing together, eat together. Now and then. Without trading secrets of course.”

“Understood,” he nodded seemingly relieved. “Losing you would be like trading Ted Williams to the Yankees.”

“Bite your tongue,” I gasped. “No disrespect Sir, but even if he came out of retirement Teddy Baseball would never wear pinstripes.”

“I like you more and more young lady,” he gloated. “My secretary has the files you’ll need to review. Get to work.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Sitting second chair for Mr. Diamond was nothing like it was for Mr. Rockwell who needed a nap in the middle of the day. William Diamond ran the show and I was there solely to assist. I did pick up on a few things that let the wind out of the lead prosecutor’s sails. Was it wrong of me to enjoy punching holes in her case? Loretta’s pious attitude during her opening statement really got under my skin. Perhaps I was just being overly sensitive. I know she must have noticed me slipping notes to my boss just before he tore down her rock solid case. At the end of the trial Mr. Marsdan was a free man.

“You just had to show me up,” she taunted me after the verdict came in.

“Couldn’t be helped,” I gloated much to her displeasure as the client complimented my boss and ignored me.

“You loved it,” she scowled. “Any chance you’re free for dinner?” She offered in a hushed whisper.

“Sorry,” I politely declined. “I have a lot of work.”

“I only meant dinner,” she quickly clarified.

“I know,” I smiled keeping my voice low. “It’s too soon.”

“I understand.” She sighed heavily before congratulating me once again.

About a month later Evelyn and I were staring at the latest addition to my apartment. “How does it work?” She questioned watching the lava lamp making red blobs.

“How should I know,” I shrugged. “You said I needed to brighten up the place.”

“I thinking more of, I don’t know furniture,” she shook her head. “Ellen, you have a mattress, a nightstand, something that barely passes as a television on a milk crate, a desk and a chair. How about bright curtains or a toaster? Something.”

“That’s something.” I asserted proudly.

“No, Druette that is something else,” she frowned. “I was thinking you could add a little color to the place. You’ve been in a funk ever since Loretta dropped the bomb on you.”

“I’ve been working,” I tried to debate the issue. “Yes, I’m peeved at her. Just once I’d like a say in my romance. I swear every time I fall for a woman it is on her terms.”

A knock on the door disrupted my misery. “Hello?” I shouted through the door.

“Delivery.” A gruff male voice responded. Evelyn moved towards the telephone as I opened the door.

Two men with a large box were waiting on the other side. “Ellen R. Druette?” One of them grumbled.

“Yes?”

“Delivery,” he tersely repeated.

“Can I see the order form and your ID’s gentlemen?” I requested keeping the door slightly closed.

“Geez lady,” the smaller one griped. “We had to lug this sucker up four flights of stairs and now you’re busting our balls?”

“Have you read a newspaper in the past couple of years?” I growled.

“Here,” the taller one thrust the information at me. “Trust me the strangler wouldn’t be lugging a new color TV up to your place. And they caught the guy last year.”

“Come in.” I sputtered after confirming their credentials. “A television? I didn’t order,”

“From a V.W. Swenson Tacoma, Washington,” the taller one recited from his paperwork. “Where do you want it?” He groaned as they moved the large box into my tiny space. The workman looked around noticing my limited belongings. “Not much for clutter are ya?”

“Over there will be fine,” I snarled signing the work order while Evelyn moved my tiny old set that was resting on top of a milk crate out of the way. Despite their snarly attitude I tipped the delivery men. Then I just stood there staring at the large crate.

“I’m guessing she’s in Tacoma and the job is working out,” Evelyn beamed after ripping open the crate. “Sweet.” She admired the large television. “Wait how long has she been there?”

“I have no idea,” I shrugged curious as to why Ginny would splurge on such an expensive gift. “The guy I talked to was a little vague. I get the feeling it could have been a days or a couple of months. The folks haven’t heard from her so it’s anyone’s guess.”

“I hope she isn’t near Puget Sound.” Evelyn gulped.

“The earthquake,” I stammered thinking about the events that happened only a week ago. I quickly scanned my copy of the receipt. “She bought it a couple of days ago.” I blew out with relief. “After the earthquake.”

“Which begs the question, why?” Evelyn curiously questioned.

A few nights later I would get my answer. I was exhausted working into the late hours yet again. I heard the television before I got half way down the hallway. “Anything good on?” I questioned her after I made my entrance.

“Come sit down and we’ll find out?” Ginny beamed.

“Ginny I can’t,” I shook my head. “It’s too extravagant.”

“Nonsense,” she dismissed my objections. “Think of it as my way of giving you a heads up that I’m coming to town.”

“Ever think to picking up the telephone?” I fussed kicking off my heels.

“I was going to do that but the phone had a bit of an accident,” she hedged. “The house fell on it. Sadly the building I worked in suffered the same fate.”

“You were in the earthquake?” I gasped rushing to her. When I saw the news I did try to track her down to no avail.

“No big deal,” she waved it off. “Not the first time. Although in California you kind of expect it. Not Washington. I’m fine, just out of work and homeless. So I figured I’d come and visit. Since I only watch television when I come back home I thought I’d treat myself.”

“Oh so the big TV is really for you?” I laughed.

“Just a little,” she shyly toyed with me. “You’re getting in late.”

“Work,” I groaned. “The life of a young lawyer. I think I’ll get a day off soon, sometime around 1970.”

“Uhm, Ellen there is something I wanted to …” her voice trailed off when a soft knock on the door startled the both of us. “Too quiet to be Phyllis,” Ginny mused.

“I am popular tonight,” I gave her a smug glance. “Who is it?”

“Loretta.” The voice beckoned from the other side.

“Uhm, just a second,” I stammered. ‘It’s official my life is truly surreal!’ I silently screamed.

“Maybe I should have called,” Ginny apologized.

“It would have been cheaper,” I teased. “Relax she’s a friend.”

“Uh huh,” Ginny gave me a curious look as she stood.

“I’ll explain later,” I gritted my teeth before opening the door. “Loretta, hi. Come in?”

“I’m sorry to bother you so late,” she began her words drifting off when she spotted Ginny. “Oh?”

“Virginia Swenson, Loretta Marino,” I quickly introduced them shivering as they pretended to be polite when they exchanged greetings.

“Wow, I didn’t realize that your apartment was so cozy,” Loretta stammered never taking her eyes off Ginny.

“El has managed to add a little color,” Ginny quipped nodding towards the lava lamp. “Next thing we know she’ll be putting up black light posters and a bong.”

“Gin,” I quickly cut her off.

“A what?” Loretta quickly picked up.

“She’s kidding,” I reassured Loretta whose nostrils were flaring.

“Geez, Ellen what is she a Narc?” Ginny laughed her smile slipping away as Loretta’s eyes bore into her. “Wait are you?”

“No,” I turned to Ginny. “Loretta however is with the district attorney’s office.”

“Really?” Ginny fumed narrowing her gaze.

“Is that problem?” Loretta quickly challenged.

“Hold it!” I stepped in. “Now before this gets any worse let me say something. Neither of you has a right to be jealous.”

“You’re dating a cop?” Ginny huffed.

“Virginia,” I scowled glaring at her.

“Sorry, reflex,” Ginny threw up her hands looking truly apologetic. “I should go.”

“No, I’ll leave,” Loretta grunted before storming out.

“Ellen, I’m sorry.” Ginny winced.

“Look I need to find out why she was here,” I quickly explained. “You are staying. I’m not dating her. I’ll explain it when I get back. In the meantime watch television.”

I threw on my shoes before racing out of my apartment. I caught up with Loretta who was fuming at the bottom of the hill. “Miss Marino,” I curtly addressed completely irked by her attitude. “Mind telling me what has your knickers in such a twist?” She shoved her hands in her coat pocket refusing to look at me. “Loretta you show up unannounced at my home in the middle of the night and you’re upset because I have a guest? Who, not that it is any of your business, is an old friend from high school.”

“Friend?” She drew out slowly her eyes narrowing with disgust.

“Loretta,” I tersely countered. “You and I want different things. You can’t just show up and cast judgment.”

“She’s a felon,” Loretta spat out.

“Oh, now that was one hell of a guess,” I howled waving my arms frantically. “Want to share how you knew that?”

“I could tell by her attitude that she has a record,” Loretta tried to save herself.

“Nice try,” I scowled feeling sick. “I can’t talk to you right now.” I spat out before walking away.

I stormed into my apartment startling Ginny who seemed to be packing. “Put that down,” I demanded. “I swear I have the worst taste in women.”

“Uhm, thank you,” Ginny sheepishly responded setting her duffle bag down.

“Three dates that’s all it was,” I began to rant kicking my shoes off once again and shutting of the TV. “And I wasn’t even sure we were dating until we split up. I can’t believe she had me investigated. I thought Connie was a freak show.”

“Back up,” Ginny pleaded. “I’m getting lost here.”

I took a deep breath which did nothing to calm my jagged nerves. I shook out my hands while Ginny reclined on the mattress waiting for me to collect my thoughts. I held up my hand informing her that I needed a little time. I shed my work attire and changed into something more comfortable. Ginny ducked into the kitchen and made hot chocolate. When I had felt a little centered we climbed onto the mattress. She handed me the cocoa. I took a sip before I decided I was ready to speak. “Loretta is a lawyer,” I slowly blew out. “We hit it off and went out a total of three times. After which we had a parting of the ways. Up until she pulled this little stunt, I thought it was an amicable parting.”

“If you got on so well why did you date for such a short time?” Ginny tenderly encouraged me.

“Religious differences,” I scowled.

“Yeah, okay,” Ginny sputtered.

“She’s a strict Catholic.” I tried to clarify.

“So was John Kennedy,” Ginny shrugged. “And half of Boston. Still not seeing the problem here.”

“A very strict Catholic,” I stressed.

“She couldn’t be that strict if she was dating you,” Ginny made the mistake of trying to be logical which apparently had no place in my life.

“She made it work for her,” I groused.

“How?” Ginny grew flustered. “Forgive me but I thought that the Catholic Church demands that intimacy be reserved for a man and wife? And then that’s only if you’re trying to have a kid. Unless one of you was planning on converting, not just beliefs but body parts, I don’t see where things were going.”

“Neither did I when she explained her ideals,” I starkly confirmed. “At first I admired her convictions now I’m not so sure. We agreed that we couldn’t possibly have a future. We called it a day and I mistakenly assumed that we could stay friends. Until tonight. She knows that you’re a felon. Which means she used the power of her office to check me out.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Ginny sneered.

“You don’t?” I huffed my ire returning in full force. “I can’t believe she invaded my privacy. I thought Connie was possessive.”

“Yeah what about that?” Ginny curiously questioned. “You told me that Connie was wonderful.”

“She was until we started dating,” I groaned. “After that moment I swear she would have followed me into the bathroom stall if she could have. I think, although I can’t be certain, she was stealing my mail. After we split up she went to back to being a lot of fun. When I was her girlfriend I had to account for my every moment of every day. It really freaked me out.”

“As well it should,” Ginny sputtered.

“Enjoying your homecoming so far?” I teased finishing my hot chocolate.

“A blast as always,” she snickered.

“How long are you staying?” I asked setting my cup aside.

“Don’t know,” she quietly answered stroking my hair. “You look exhausted.”

“I am,” I wearily confirmed leaning into her touch. “I’m working nonstop. I don’t need the added drama of whatever Loretta’s trip is. Plus I’m late.”

“For what?” Ginny innocently asked. “What? You mean late, late? Uhm not to be rude but what else have you been up to?”

“Hey,” I swatted her hand away. “It’s stress. Trust me I couldn’t possibly be PG. For your information if I am knocked up it’s yours.” I curtly informed her.

“How is that possible?” She had the bad manners to ask. “I haven’t been around. Well not since my two day visit on the way to Ohio.”

“Uh huh,” I gloated. “And despite our promise that we wouldn’t, we did.”

“Breakfast in bed,” she sighed happily. “Hey, how about I give you the rest of your gifts?”

“You’re finally going to give me back my goodie bag?” I snickered.

“I keep forgetting that,” she shook her head climbing off the mattress. “No, I meant some other stuff. My original plan was to ship this stuff out to you in time for your birthday. I got kind of wrapped up in things. Then the roof literally caved in. I picked up this fabulous bubble bath I found in a little shop in Tacoma. I have candles, incense and a bottle of wine from a little vineyard I found in Sonoma. Sorry I didn’t have everything gifted wrapped. What do you say? How about tonight you let me spoil you?”

“Why are you being so nice?” I rolled over onto my side; watching her prepare my night of self indulgence.

“I,” her voice trailed off. “I think you deserve it. Even if you did just accuse me of getting you in trouble. You might want to see a doctor about that.”

“Pregnancy?” I squeaked while she ran the bath. “You’re talented lady but I doubt that even you could pull that one off. I’m sure it’s just stress.”

“Then allow me to help you de-stress,” she smiled offering me a glass of wine. “Sip that and I’ll let you know when your bath is ready.”

The bath was incredible, rich full vanilla scented bubbles and candles burning along the sides of the tub. Ginny kept the wine flowing while I sat back and allowed my troubles float away. The only thing missing was her joining me. Loretta’s impromptu visit killed the mood for any romantic notions either of us might have been entertaining. I finally climbed out of the tub when the water began to chill. She blew out the candles and wrapped me in a towel. “You need a bigger bathroom.” She teased carefully guiding me towards the bed.

“I drank too much,” I murmured while she tucked me in.

“Just a little,” she whispered climbing in beside me. “Sleep.” She added wrapping her arms tightly around me.

I awoke the next morning with a slight headache from the wine. Still I felt completely at ease when the alarm went off and I discovered that I was wrapped up in Ginny’s arms. I curled up lying half on her and half off. She was still sound asleep. I reached up tracing her parted lips with my fingers. I felt at peace. In a perfect world this is the way I would awake every morning. I glanced over at the clock the lateness of the hour reminding me that this is not a perfect world. I kissed her lips tenderly. I murmured softly when I felt her arms tightening around my body.

“I have to go to work.” I whispered smiling when she grumbled in her slumber.

It was another long day. Somehow I managed to finish by seven that night. I tidied up my desk, grabbed my purse and headed out. I wanted to rush home knowing that Ginny was there. I had something I needed to do first. I knew she’d be at her office. Loretta was a bigger workaholic than I was. Back then security wasn’t nearly as hard to get around. I made it up to her office without much trouble.

I knocked and without waiting for an answer I barged in. “Miss Druette?” She fearfully squeaked out rushing towards the door and quickly closing it behind me. I rolled my eyes miffed by the look of sheer panic in her eyes.

“Chill,” I coldly informed her taking a seat. “I’m not here to cause a scene. I just want some answers.”

“Ellen,” she tersely began.

“Loretta,” I gritted my teeth. “All I am asking is that you not lie to me. Did you have me investigated?”

“Ellen,” she quickly back peddled. “I’m sorry but she acted like a criminal.”

“The truth,” I demanded. “Last night you called Ginny a felon. The only way you could have known that was if you peeked into my past. Did you?”

“Yes,” she expelled slumping into her chair.

“What gives you the right?” I flared ready to smack her with my purse.

“It’s not what you think,” she defended her actions. “I just did a little checking. I wanted to know more about you after the first time we went out. I came across you’re friend’s name.”

“A witness statement from almost a decade ago?” I scoffed at her lame explanation. “That’s a lot more than a little checking into my background. A little checking is calling the bar association, asking around town. This is an invasion of my privacy.”

“Hold on,” she cut in. “That is what I did. Next thing I know I get an envelope in the mail with your friend’s record.”

“Right,” I sneered at her feeble attempt to convince me that she wasn’t duplicitous in this. “Who sent it?”

“I don’t know,” she mumbled digging through her files. “Here is the note that came with it.”

“If you want to know about her check out the company she keeps,” I read aloud.

“This came with it.” She continued handing me a large file that was filled with copies of Ginny’s arrest reports. “Nice company you keep. Attacking another girl when she was fifteen. Then beating up two women. She sounds positively charming.”

“I want copies of this,” I demanded scanning the poorly Xeroxed files.

“Excuse me?” Loretta huffed.

“I’m her attorney and I’ve been searching for these reports,” I tersely informed her. “They seem to have a habit of disappearing.”

“You’re her attorney?” She dismissed me.

“Yes, you can call and ask her if you wish?” I boldly retorted.

“Let me guess. I should just dial your number?” She bitterly hissed.

“This is beneath you,” I snarled thinking her pious attitude was nothing more than a sham. “If you wanted to know about my high school sweetheart I would have told you. All you had to do was ask. Yes, we were lovers. Yes, she stays with me. She also stays at my parent’s house when she’s in town. And despite what these files say she never hurt a soul.”

“Of course she didn’t,” she groaned. “All the arrests and her time in prison it couldn’t have been her it was her evil twin.”

I smiled, I couldn’t help it. I had come prepared. I reached into my purse and threw an old snapshot at her. “What is this?” She mocked me. Her jaw dropped when she looked at the picture. “She has a twin?”

“You should have kept digging,” I curtly informed her. “I expect copies of this delivered to my office in the morning.”

“This doesn’t prove anything,” Loretta stammered.

“Do I strike you as a liar?” I rudely cut her off. “If you read my witness statement from ‘56 you would have known that at the time in question Ginny was with me. Despite the rubbish Father O’Malley is spewing, just because we’re lesbians doesn’t mean that we are evil. I have one more question and again all I’m asking for is an honest answer. Why did you come over last night?”

“Doesn’t matter anymore,” Loretta choked out.

“Fine.” I nodded standing. I understood, she had a change of heart and was going to try and work things out between us. After meeting Ginny she decided it or I wasn’t worth the effort. “Send the files.” I added before storming out.

When I arrived home my hand was shaking. It was too quiet. Absent were the sounds of the television or radio that Ginny normally blasted to keep herself company. As I turned the key in the lock I was filled with a sense of dread that Ginny had bolted. Instead I found her in the kitchen making dinner for me. “Hey there,” she smiled taking my coat. “You’re a little earlier than I expected.”

“I wasn’t feeling well,” I confessed my body aching. “You did a fine job in helping me relax last night.”

“Ah, let me guess,” she sighed guiding me towards the mattress. “No more stress and your body finally fell in line. Put on something comfortable and I’ll get you a hot water bottle.”

“You’re too good to me,” I whimpered.

“Bad cramps?” She tenderly asked.

“Just starting,” I confessed as I began to shed my clothing. “Timing sucks.”

“Always does,” she laughed. “Just get changed, crawl into bed and I’ll bring your dinner to you.”

After dinner I was curled up in Ginny’s arms clinging to the hot water bottle she had kindly warmed up for me. We were watching something on television. I had problems focusing since my body was waging an all out war. I groaned when another sharp twinge assaulted me.

“Bad?” Ginny tenderly questioned massaging my scalp.

“Yeah,” I groaned once again. “Can’t believe I was anxious to get my period. Now that I have I’m in hell.”

“Hmm,” she murmured softly while continuing to caress my scalp. “Our bodies are funny that way. A little stress and we’re a mess. I was late just once and it freaked me out. Just my luck it was right after the only time I dabbled with the male species.”

“Oh my God,” I inhaled sharply. “Were you?”

“No,” she blew out with relief. “I wasn’t thank the heavens. Can you imagine just sixteen and a baby on the way? I have to say Laurie and Tracy were great.”

“Tracy?” I snuggled closer. “Let me guess your girlfriend at the time.”

“Wrong again,” she smiled. “Billy Tracy, although at one time he was kind of my boyfriend. His family happened to be at the Hamptons right around the time the both of us were questioning our sexuality. In our infinite teenaged wisdom we decided to try sleeping with a member of the opposite sex. It was a dismal experience for the both of us.”

“Sixteen,” I processed. “That was when you came to Cedar Hills.”

“Just before.” She sighed. “We spent most of the summer before that in the Hamptons after fleeing Oak Ridge.”

“Oh right after Hilary,” I put the pieces together assuming that Hilary had been her first. “So after sleeping with her you thought you’d give a guy a whirl.”

“I never slept with Hilary,” she grunted. “Ellen we were only fifteen. I turned sixteen right before everything happened. Granted Hilary and I were close but it never went past a little under the sweater action. We were much too young for more than that. What? I see those wheels spinning? Something you want to ask me?”

“Twice with a girl and once with a guy,” I tentatively began. “I always assumed that you meant two girls. Now if Tracy was the guy then the girl was someone you met in the Hamptons. Just doing a little arithmetic.”

“Again you’re math is off,” she grimaced. Her scowl informing me that she really didn’t want to discuss this. “We needed a tutor to finish our courses from Oak Ridge. Enter Inga. She was a little older than us and even though I wasn’t in love with her I allowed her to seduce me. I’ve always regretted that I didn’t wait until I was in love. Inga and I carried on until the middle of the summer. I finished my studies and we moved to Cedar Hills.”

“Finished your studies,” I snickered before the words caught up with me. “Hold it. Then I was right the first time there was another girl. But that would mean you met her in Cedar Hills.”

“Gross,” she muttered. “I should have lied and said yes I only did it twice with my tutor. I should have known that you’re much too smart not figure it out.”

“Someone I know? Before you slept with me?” I stressed.

“Ellen it was ten years ago,” she pleaded. “Don’t.”

“Someone I know well,” I quickly deduced. “A member of the squad?”

“It was a drunken mistake.” She insisted.

“Sandy?” I concluded not really bothered if she had dabbled with Sandy. “No wait, she was far too surprised that you’re a lesbian. Who?”

“Does it matter?” She winced.

“Uhm, yes it does,” I insisted. “Not so much that it happened with someone I know before we started dating, but I got a lot of crap after you went away. I’d really like to know which one of the little darlings was a major hypocrite.”

“Margie.” She gulped.

“The biggest hypocrite in the pack,” I snarled. “The one who thought I should go to a co-ed college because of all the talk. My former best friend. I can’t believe you slept with her.”

“Like I said it was a drunken mistake,” she snarled. “And for the record she put the moves on me. Afterwards we both pretended it never happened. I for one really wished it had never happened. The truly bizarre thing about it was I was hanging out with her that night to find out more about you. A couple snorts of peppermint schnapps and her hand was up my skirt. I swear I never saw it coming. Sadly I was too buzzed to say no.”

“That bitch.” I was furious. Suddenly Margie’s snotty attitude back then made sense. She had played with Ginny and must have been terrified that someone would find out. Worse still being my best friend and both of us sharing a tryst with a girl could only mean there was something wrong with the both of us. “Ugh, what is it with these holier than thou types? Loretta, Margie, and your sister a bunch of high and mighty freaks.”

“Well I’m glad we got on this subject,” Ginny quipped with a desperate sigh.

“It is no small wonder that you enjoy visiting me so much,” I snuggled closer; smiling as I listened to the steady rhythm of her heart. “With all the entertainment I provide. Ex-girlfriends, coming and going, Phyllis banging on the walls, the close quarters and the inevitable spat we get in. I can understand why you chose this as where you come to let your hair down.”

“More fun than Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride,” she sighed cuddling closer. “Ellen, I treasure our time together. You’re the only constant in my life. One of these days I’ll get my act together and you can come visit me. I had hoped that Washington was going to be the place where I was finally going to hang my hat. Mother Nature had other ideas.”

“You’ll get there,” I reassured her stifling a yawn. “I have faith that you will find that place you can call home.”

“Hmm,” she softly groaned her hands slipping down to my back.

I sighed my body relaxing into her caresses. Before I realized what was happening sleep claimed my weary body. The following morning I awoke alone. Ginny was puttering in the kitchen. I grimaced recognizing the look in her eyes. She was already growing restless. With each visit her staying power waned quicker and quicker. ‘One of these days, she’ll stop coming.’ I grimly accepted wondering if when it finally happened would either of us be happier?

The ensuing days were thankfully mundane. Loretta did as I requested and sent over copies of Ginny’s file. I was tempted to send her copies of some of my files. I wasn’t ready to show my hand just yet. Still there was nasty part of me that wanted to throw the truth in Loretta’s face. Realizing that I was just being petty I let it go.

For now Ginny was visiting and my body was feeling better. I just went with it. The only good thing to come out of my time with Loretta was that I learned that I could feel something for someone other than Ginny. It was a lesson I needed to learn. Each night I returned home to find Ginny pacing like a caged animal. She did her best to put on a happy face. The forced smile and stiffness that claimed her stature spoke volumes. It was time for her to fly.

By the beginning of the following week, I arrived home to find her scowling while she fidgeted with the rabbit ears on the television. “Evening.” I greeted her throwing my purse and briefcase down. “Problem?”

“No,” she snapped. “I’m having a blast and a half. One of these days someone will invent a way to get clear reception without having to play with an antenna. I just want to watch something.”

“Anything special on?” I shrugged off my coat.

“I don’t know,” she grumbled clicking off the set. She just stood there staring at the blank screen blowing out a terse breath.

“That’s it,” I announced. “Get your coat. We’re going out.”

“Ellen, you’re tired and you haven’t been feeling well,” she quickly dismissed the notion.

“And you’re climbing the walls,” I drew out slowly. “Did you get out at all today?”

“I had lunch with Ma,” she shrugged. “She had to meet with a client in town. I got a two hour lecture about calling home after a natural disaster.”

“Only two hours? You got off easy,” I snickered only to receive a raspberry in return. “Listen, Grumpy get your duff in gear. We are going out. You’ve been stuck in the house, waiting on me hand and foot.”

“Grumpy?” She huffed.

“What? Would you rather I call you Dopey?” I tried to ease the tension.

“And you would be Sleepy,” she sighed her body finally relaxing. “Ellen you’re dead on your feet. And you have to work in the morning.”

“Big whoop,” I waved it off. “Think of it as an early birthday present. I need to make a couple of calls and jump in the shower.”

“Is anything open at this hour?” She whined.

“Yes,” I smugly retorted dialing the phone. “You had better start getting ready or I’m leaving without you.”

“Again, when did you get so pushy?” She huffed indignantly.

“Somewhere around the time I discovered playing with another girl’s boobies was much more fun than playing with my own,” I wryly informed her.

“And a potty mouth to boot,” Ginny groaned searching through her duffle bag.

One hour later we were crammed in a booth at one of the few restaurants that would be open late on a week night. Boston’s China Town never really sleeps. I made a few calls and Ginny was having her birthday celebration whether she wanted to or not. I should have guessed her upcoming birthday was one of the things dragging her down. She always seemed dark and distant around that time. The guests included Evelyn, Wally, Ron and Spencer had just joined us.

“I can’t believe that we’ll, I mean I’ll be twenty-six in a few days. Positively disgusting,” Ginny grumbled. “Thirty is just around the corner.”

“Dirty thirty,” Ron beamed.

“I can’t believe you went to the prom with him,” Ginny teased.

“He bought me a corsage,” I shrugged snatching an egg roll from the Pu Pu Platter. “Although he did make me drive.”

“Brute,” Ginny continued to ruffle Ron’s feathers. “Then again your wheels back then were really sad, Ron.”

“Steal my girl and give me grief over my car,” Ron scoffed stealing a glance at Spencer.

“So, the three of you went to high school together?” Wally shyly questioned.

Wally really was sweet, a bit on the quiet side still he simply adored Evelyn. “Yes,” Ginny droned. “Ron was on the football team and Ellen and I were paper shakers.”

“It’s true then?” Evelyn laughed. “Druette was a rah-rah? I just can’t see it.”

“Are you kidding?” Ginny cracked a smile for the first time. “Little Miss Spunky Buttons was Captain of the pep squad our senior year.”

“Spunky Buttons?” I choked on my cup of tea.

“That’s what we called you,” Ginny confessed with smug smile.

“You did not.” I laughed.

“Yeah, we did,” Ron smirked.

“No way.” I snarled. “Who called me that?”

“Everyone,” Ginny smiled slipping her hand on my thigh. “So, Spencer that’s an unusual name for a girl.” Ginny threw out before I could pitch a fit.

Spencer who had been sitting back watching the show tilted her head. She gave us a shy smile while tugging on her ear. I thought Ron was going to swoon. The guy was already smitten and Spencer hadn’t said more than hello. “Unless it’s not your first name,” Ginny prodded.

“No, it’s not,” Spencer grinned once again. “You should be in my line of work you don’t miss much.”

“What is it that you do?” Ron eagerly inquired.

“I’m a private investigator.” Spencer plainly explained without bothering to look at him.

“Wow!” Wally blew out.

“Yeah wow,” Ron thoughtfully noted. I think everyone at the table knew what he meant.

“See Wally I do lead an exciting life,” Evelyn teased. “Interesting people and friends who will go out after nine o’clock on a weeknight.”

“I know I’m square,” he meekly confessed.

“A cute square,” she complimented him.

“I think I’m getting a cavity,” I couldn’t help teasing the both of them.

“So, Ginny when is your birthday?” Evelyn questioned.

“Our, I mean my birthday is in a couple of days,” Ginny stammered shaking her head once again. “Sorry. I must sound like Three Faces Of Eve.”

“I do the same thing,” Evelyn laughed. “Confused the heck out of Wally when we first started dating.”

“You’re a twin?” Ginny blinked with surprise.

“Yes,” Evelyn offered warmly. “Didn’t Druette tell you? What was it you said when you found out? They follow me everywhere?”

“Something like that,” I rolled my eyes. I released a soft sigh when I felt Ginny fingers raking up my jean clad thigh. I captured her hand and began to caress it. The night was taking an interesting turn. I glanced over at Ron who was staring at Spencer. “Ron?”

“Yeah,” he sighed not really noticing that I was speaking.

“Never mind.” I shook my head thoroughly amused.

“He’s gone.” Ginny whispered in my ear using the opportunity to move closer to me.

“No kidding,” I snickered snuggling slightly closer. “Hey Ron? You remember Professor Larson don’t you?”

“Yeah the guy was a pompous hard ass,” he snorted his gaze still locked on Spencer.

“He’s my uncle,” she grimly informed him. “He and my aunt raised me after my dad died.”

“Oh? Uhm?” Ron gulped his face turning a bright shade of red.

“Which is what I was going to say,” I laughed at his expense. “So much for an ice breaker.”

“It was a valiant effort,” Spencer snickered. “So, Ron you dated Ellen back in high school?”

“Yes,” he tried to regain his footing. “We went steady for awhile. Or at least I thought we were going steady.” He couldn’t help taunting Ginny.

“I saw her first,” Ginny protested.

“No, you didn’t,” Ron argued. “Ellen and I grew up together.”

“Fine, I asked her out first,” she stuck her tongue out emphasizing her point.

“Oh don’t start,” I pleaded. “Every time you two get together I feel like first prize in a turkey shoot. Can’t you two idiots just drop it?”

“Oh now we’re idiots? Did you hear that Ron?” Ginny must have decided to torture me. She and Ron loved playing with me every time they got together. “I’m insulted.”

“So am I,” Ron huffed. “Just because you dated the both of us at the same time is no reason to get all uppity.”

“You juggled them both at the same time? What in the hell were you thinking?” Spencer joined in.

“I plead temporary insanity,” I threw up my hands in defeat.

“Tell me the two of you don’t do this to Ellen every time you get together?” Evelyn laughed at my plight.

“Who us?” Ginny feigned innocence.

“Yes, they do,” I growled. “It is a constant game who got to do what with me first. Ginny usually ends up doing a victory lap.”

“Ouch,” Ron cringed while Ginny wiggled her brow suggestively.

“I do have to say, Ron was a perfect gentleman,” I added snuggling closer to Ginny.

“And?” Ron encouraged waving his hands frantically.

“And that’s it.” I tormented him. “Come on, the guy before you was Groper.”

“Dirk the jerk,” Ginny and Ron chimed in unison high fiving each other.

“Drove me crazy,” Ron groaned. “I wanted to ask you out so badly and you kept getting back together with that knot head. For the life of me I never understood what you saw in that guy.”

“Nothing,” I began to answer gasping slightly when Ginny’s hand slipped between my thighs. “Sorry.” I choked out pretending nothing was amiss. If anyone at the table noticed they never let on. I think our companions were far too interested in one another than the shenanigans Ginny was pulling. “What are you doing?” I whispered in her ear.

“Misbehaving.” She whispered in response; my body shuddering as her lips brushed against my ear. “What is she following you?” She sputtered jerking back suddenly.

All eyes turned after Ginny made her little outburst. “Son of a,” Ron frowned when he spied Loretta passing by our booth. She never acknowledged any of us as she made her way to the back of the restaurant. Ron leaned across the table. “All kidding aside,” he began in a hushed tone. “That’s a little creepy.”

“Wasn’t that, Marino?” Spencer questioned with a troubled gaze.

“Yes.” I answered with a hard swallow.

“She showed up at your apartment last week as well,” Spencer stressed. “Before your little tit for tat did you run into her this much?”

“Outside of the courthouse? Never,” I cleared my throat. “This is getting weird.”

“Maybe someone should speak to her?” Ginny suggested in a foreboding tone.

“Don’t,” I cautioned her. “I will not allow her to spoil your party. Now I believe you and Ron were tormenting me. Carry on.”

“Kind of takes the fun out of it if you give us permission,” Ron sighed dramatically. “But since you insisted.” He smiled brightly. I returned his smile thankful for his attempt to lighten the mood. “Or we could talk about who we saw at the office last week?”

“I forgot about that,” I gloated my body surging with warmth when Ginny’s hand returned to my thigh. “I can’t believe he has a beer belly.”

“Who?” Ginny encouraged her hand drifting along my thigh.

“Earl.” Ron gleefully informed her. “Swear to God, the guy looks older than my dad.”

“Earl? He was so handsome in high school,” Ginny shook her head.

“Not anymore,” I snickered shivering slightly knowing that I was being watched. I refused to give Loretta the satisfaction of looking around. Whatever game she was playing I wasn’t interested. “His stomach hangs down to his knees and his hair line has dropped back a good five yards. I didn’t recognize him. It wasn’t until I saw his name on some paperwork that I realized it was him.”

“Come on, he’s our age,” Ginny argued. “No way he’s gone to pot that fast.”

“Who is Earl?” Evelyn chimed in.

“One of Ginny’s high school beaus,” I giggled. “And he was a dreamboat back then. Not now. Actually you dated the hottest guys in school.”

“I have good taste,” she flashed me a smile that sent a shiver down my spine. “Should have held onto Bobby just to save him from my sister. Damn I still can’t believe he’s gone.”

“If only I had been quicker I could have floored that guy who sacked him,” Ron cursed his body tensing. “He never would have gotten hurt.”

“Don’t.” Ginny tenderly stated. “Face it all of us were having a great year, then it just went to hell.”

“It was,” I nodded my body melting against Ginny’s touch. “Double dating, sock hops, dancing to doo-wop, hitting the drive-in and riding around in your Chevy with the top down. Man we had it going on.”

I shivered once again feeling someone watching me. I blew out a terse breath pretending to listen to Ron and Ginny regaling wild tales from our bygone days. Evelyn joined in sharing some of our stunts from Smith. “So then Druette here decides that we can outrun the farmer,” Evelyn was just concluded her saga. “It’s dark, muddy and we weren’t dressed for a late night rendezvous with a pitchfork. Somehow she got us into the car and tore out burning rubber.”

“A little midnight apple picking,” Ginny howled. “Eleanore Roosevelt Druette you ought to be ashamed.”

“Eleanore Roosevelt.” Was snickered around the table catching my attention.

“Virginia Woolf?” I taunted in response.

“Yes?” Came her curt response.

“Happy Birthday.” I let her off the hook. She looked adorable scrunching up her face. She leaned in and I followed suit. We pulled away when the both of us remembered we were in public.

“Speaking of cavities.” Evelyn snickered under her breath. “Oh it is getting late.”

“Grody.” I grimaced checking my watch while I mentally calculated how little sleep I was going to get. “Right you are. Time to beat feet.” I concurred moving to glance over my shoulder.

“Don’t bother,” Spencer grimly instructed me. “She hasn’t taken her eyes off you.”

“I’m not liking this,” Ginny snarled.

“Don’t sweat it,” Spencer smirked. “I’m adding her to my to do list.”

“Meaning?” I prodded as the crew began to throw down money and slip out of the booth.

“Just boogie,” Spencer requested with a jerk of her head. “I’m just gonna chew the fat with her. And since she got the 411 on you in the morning I’m going to return the favor.”

“I’m liking you more and more,” Ginny complimented the small brunette. “Be careful. This woman makes me twitchy.”

“Don’t worry,” Spencer blew off Ginny’s concern. “I’m packing.”

Ginny’s and my eyes widened our gaze instantly dropping. “Okay,” Spencer slowly drew out. “I meant I have a gun. I’m going to assume packing means something different to the two of you. No need to explain. I’ll just let my wayward imagination wander.”

“Good night then,” I choked out with a furious blush.

“I’ll stay,” Ron volunteered.

“No, need.” Spencer dismissed him.

“It’s no problem.” Ron persisted.

“No, really I’ll be fine.” Spencer huffed.

“I don’t mind.” Ron pressed on as we shook our heads.

“Honestly, you’ll be in my way.” Spencer finally cut him down.

Ron shoved his hands in his pockets looking completely dejected. I had the sinking feeling he wasn’t going to give up. It was getting late and I decided to leave him on his own. I didn’t doubt Spencer was more than capable of taking herself. “Split a cab?” I offered to the rest of the crew mildly worried that Spencer might end up shooting Ron.

“Sounds good,” Wally agreed as we made our way out to a busier street. He waved down the first taxi we spotted and the four of us climbed inside. I couldn’t help smiling at the way Ginny and Wally mirrored one another’s actions by slipping their arms around their date’s shoulders. Neither Evelyn nor I wasted a moment quickly snuggling against the warm body offered to us. Ginny and I exited first since my apartment was closer to China Town. We bid farewell to our companions before hurrying inside.

“How are you doing?” I softly questioned once we were safely inside my apartment. I helped her take of her coat my heart racing when her hands came to rest on my hips.

“I’m okay,” she seemed bashful as she spoke. “It’s just I get a little funky this time of year.”

“I know.” I nodded slipping my arms around her waist.

“It started with my eighteenth,” she quietly began her fingers massaging my hips. “Nothing says happy birthday like starting your stretch in the joint. What killed me was that for the first in my life I spent my birthday alone. It’s a bitter pill to swallow knowing that you’re alone because the person you always shared the day with is the reason for you being alone. If it hadn’t been for your parents insisting that they be able to visit I think I would have withered and died.”

“I think they would have adopted you even if you hadn’t got sent away,” I tried to comfort her.

“They really saved me,” she sighed softly her body moving closer to mine. “I had fun tonight. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” I laughed. “Come on you got me a television for my birthday. I made you split the egg roll for yours. Doesn’t really seem fair. What do you really want for your birthday, Virginia? Keep in mind that I’m feeling much better.”

“I want to make love to you tonight.” She professed with a soft murmur before claiming my lips in a tender kiss. Her soft inviting kiss spoke volumes. No, discussion, no promises and no over analyzing just our bodies coming together. It was fine by me; I had been ready to feel her in my arms since the night she arrived. My only regret was that I knew I couldn’t keep my heart from following my body.

Her tongue began teasing my bottom lip. I eagerly parted my lips granting her entrance. I moaned into the warmth of her mouth. I felt her hands slip up along my body. I pushed slightly away from her touch my hands needing to feel her skin. My fingers quickly glided up and under her sweater. I wanted to touch her everywhere. My hands glided up along her back provoking a sultry moan from my companion. Without hesitation I unsnapped her bra. “Damn you’ve gotten good at that,” she breathlessly sputtered raising her arms above her head so I could slip her sweater off her body. I practically tore her loosely hanging bra off her.

I nuzzled my face against her exposed flesh. My hands busy with the task of unbuttoning her bellbottoms. Her fingers laced in my hair; pressing me closer to her. I drank in the scent of Ginny’s flesh; my mouth eagerly nibbling upon her skin. We stumbled towards the bed. I tugged her pants down to her hips. Clasping her body tightly wanting her in my bed yet knowing it was a long fall down to the mattress.

“You need to get a real bed,” she chastised me seeming to read my thoughts.

I stifled my response. I wanted to tell that I would. I’d happily invest in a real bed, a bigger apartment or anything else she desired if she would only stay. I wasn’t afforded the luxury of being permitted to ask. So, I didn’t. Instead I guided her down onto the mattress. I kneeled on the floor; tearing the remnants of her clothing from her body. I clasped the edge of the mattress watching her naked form scooting further away. She reclined against the pillows, crooking her finger begging me to join her. I stood, my legs wobbling slightly.

My lips curled into a crooked smile. I stood there watching the rapid rise and fall of her chest. She shivered beneath my haughty gaze. Reaching over she struck a match. The acidic scent of sulfur filled the room while she lit a candle on the nightstand. My jaw quivered as I watched her returning my gaze. I stumbled backward not wanting to tear my gaze from the tantalizing sight nestled on my bed. I flipped off the main light; shedding my clothing as I made my way back to her.

The room was bathed in candle light while I stood naked before her. I caught a glimpse of something in her crystal blue eyes that tugged at my heart. Sorrow was not the emotion I expected to see. This visit had been different. She was different. She had come here for a reason. I was clueless as to what her true motives had been. Whatever she had planned had been abandoned not long after she had arrived. I didn’t understand my sudden insight. I just knew that something was amiss.

“Ellen?” She purred her voice dripping with desire.

My eyes raked down her body drinking in all that she was offering to me. Her nipples were erect, her chest heaving, my gaze drifted along her soft supple curves landing on the soft patch of gold nestled between her firm thighs. Even in the darkness I could see that she desired me. I was torn away from my ogling when her needy voice repeated my name. I sank to my knees crawling up along the mattress. I hovered above her thrilled by the sight of her quivering beneath me.

Ginny’s hands began to explore my body. I released a strangled moan; my senses reeling from her touch. For a brief moment I felt innocent again. Ginny reached up lacing her fingers in my hair; guiding me to her before capturing my lips in a searing kiss. I lowered my body; groaning when I felt her wetness brushing against my flesh. Our nipples brushed while I probed the deep recesses of her mouth. After all those years tasting her lips still ignited my passion. Our bodies still moved in perfect unison.

Ginny’s fingers kneaded my bare backside guiding me to straddle her thigh coaxing me to ride against her. I surrendered to perfection; rolling my hips meeting the frantic swaying of her body. She tore her lips from the sensual kiss. Her head falling back; her long blonde hair spilling over her flushed features. I brushed her errant locks from her face. I needed to see her; to feel her piercing blue eyes boring into my soul.

She held me prisoner with her smoldering gaze. Our bodies caught up in a frenzied rhythm. I struggled fighting against the words that were screaming to escape. The words I should had uttered nine years earlier. Knowing that they would not be echoed I buried them deep inside of me. Allowing only my heart to say I love you. She never needed to know I gave her my heart that night, as I had done so many other nights. I slipped my hand between our bodies vowing to keep my secret; leading her to believe that I was only offering my body.

Her name escaped in a strangled cry when she mirrored my actions. Each of us gasping for air when our touch was greeted by the other’s overflowing passion. Ginny’s body arched lifting mine higher. She cried out my name, followed by my neighbor’s loud banging on the walls. Unable to yield my pent up passion I ignored the loud thumping; begging Ginny for release.

I growled frustrated by the limitations our position provided. Needing to feel one another completely we rolled around the bed until we were nestled side by side. Focused solely on kissing and giving one another pleasure we ignored the darkness slipping from the room. Daylight shyly peeked through the small windows. We barely noticed the arrival of morning. I buried myself inside her thrilled by the feel of her body tightening against my touch.

My mind was muddled; lost in the feel of her pleasuring my body. We clung to one another; kissing, touching, losing ourselves in the sheer pleasure of the moment. Ginny’s hands and mouth explored my shuddering body completely. Her voice raw as she promised to take me to the moon and back. My own voice absent far too strained to cry out. My body thrusting wildly as she fulfilled her promise. Her tongue slipping inside of me stealing the last vestiges of reason.

I belonged to her; needing only to sate her passion. I was more than happy to rake my fingers and mouth down along her sinewy body. Her pleading turned to guttural groans. I fought to hold her body steady. I feasted upon her; consumed with the aching need to feel her passion spilling over me. Ginny clawed at my flesh; desperately pleading for mercy. I smiled proudly climbing up her body.

Driven by raw desire our bodies melted against one another’s. Rocking wildly; each of us refusing to yield. The clamoring sounds of my alarm shattered our frenzied passion. I released a feral growl refusing to answer the determined clanging. The pounding on the walls and the blasted clock grew more persistent. I released a terse curse tearing myself from her. I slammed the clock almost shattering it. I fought to quiet my body wanting nothing more than to curl up in her arms. She rolled over blowing out the candle. I nestled my body behind her. I wrapped my arms around her, kissing the nape of her neck and shoulders.

“Sorry,” I grumbled out my apology for allowing the real world to disrupt our bliss. Ginny only sighed in response. Turning towards me; her eyes filled with a distant look. I pursed my lips and brushed her face with my fingers. I released a frustrated sigh. I kissed her quickly and slipped from the tender embrace. Regrettably I took a long hot shower erasing her scent from my flesh.

It was time to rejoin the world. I was all too familiar with the look in Ginny’s eyes. I stood under the water much longer than needed. I silently cursed the lot life had handed me. It was a cruel joke. The hotter the sex the sooner I’d see that distant gleam reflected in Ginny’s eyes. She’d be leaving soon. Once again I’d be forced to just step back and let her walk away.

“You look adorable,” I smiled at the sight of Ginny wearing my robe while pouring me a cup of coffee. I cringed when I approached her. “Ouch.” I cringed once again my body suddenly reminding me that there is a price to pay for marathon sex.

“Sore?” She blushed handing me a steaming cup of coffee.

“Hmm.” I murmured cupping the mug in my hands savoring the aroma. “What is it about you that makes me think I’m Gumby?”

“Sure blame me,” she blushed once again handing me a plate with a couple of slices of toast.

“No time,” I politely declined placing my coffee mug on the counter. Each of us quirked a glance at the kitchen wall watching the pictures shaking from a loud banging. “Oh goodness sake,” I snarled and flipped off the wall. “We’re done.”

“Have you ever met her?” Ginny asked making her way towards the bed.

“A couple of times in the laundry room,” I sneered trying to rush around and get ready for the office. “I say hello and she ignores me.”

“Charming.” Ginny groaned stretching out her body.

“What are your plans today?” I reluctantly asked while zipping up my skirt. ‘Besides packing?’ I silently added.

“Don’t hate me,” she sighed slipping under the covers. “But I’m planning on sleeping most of the day. Someone kept me awake all night.”

“You Fink,” I blew out with relief.

“Are you going to be alright?”

“Sure, providing I don’t fall asleep on the train,” I sighed before ducking back into the bathroom to throw on some make up. When I finally looked somewhat respectable I leaned down and gave her a kiss. I had only intended to place a quick peck on her lips. The second my lips brushed against hers I was lost. It took all the strength I had to pull away. “Damn.” I cursed before making a speedy exit.

At the office that day Ron and I must have gone through a half dozen pots of coffee. Despite Spencer’s insistence he stayed on at the restaurant. We barely spoke to one another except for his comments that I was far too chipper and walking funny. “Climb it.” I finally snapped before emerging myself in the mountain of paperwork that plagued the lives of lowly junior associates such as myself.

The next few days I was flying on fumes. Ron was jealous and I was ecstatic foolishly thinking that just perhaps Ginny wouldn’t pull her vanishing act. I realized I had been kidding myself the night we dipped into my goodie bag. The more intimate we became the more vulnerable we became. When we entered the realm of sheer unadulterated passion she’d start planning her escape. It was a small comfort that she only ran as far as Cedar Hills.

A short visit with the folks is what she said. I knew despite the fact that she made plans with Sandy and myself for the following Saturday, she was inching away. I remember thinking as I plowed through my workload the day she left that at least I’d get some sleep that night. Ron drove me crazy that morning. I was having lunch with Spencer and he wanted to know why.

“You got to help me out here.” Ron pleaded like a big baby. “I’m getting nowhere with this girl.”

“That is because you keep speaking,” I rolled my eyes. I loved the guy but sometimes I wanted to strangle him. “Do yourself a favor and keep your trap shut.”

“Just give me heads up on what I shouldn’t say.” he continued pleading his case. “So, far I’ve managed to offend her at every turn.”

“Fine,” I snarled throwing my pencil down. “Don’t bring up cops, the military or her first name. I’d keep it to baseball and cars.”

“She’s not one of yours is she?” He groaned.

“Not even close,” I laughed amused that just because the quirky private investigator liked things that most guys did they assumed she was a lesbian. “Look here’s the deal. Spencer is a little older than us. She’s done two tours in the Navy. I have no idea what she did in the service and I’d recommend not asking. I made that mistake just once. Suffice to say she’s touchy about it. She wanted to be a cop. He father was one and died in the line of duty. When she found out the best she could hope for was checking parking meters or being a glorified secretary she became a PI. And hasn’t gotten a break because of her gender. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t open the car door for her. She prefers red wine over white but rarely drinks. She’s dedicated to her job and if you catch her on the right day she might crack a smile. Other than that I really don’t know that much about her.”

“Could you put in a good word for me?” He sheepishly begged.

“I’ll try.” I groused picking up my purse. “Just for the record we’re having a business lunch. Playing matchmaker isn’t on the menu.”

I met Spencer at a small diner near the courthouse. She wanted to get together after looking into Loretta’s past. I was a little nervous at what I might find out. “Spencer,” I greeted her sliding into the chair across from her.

“On time as usually,” she gave me a nod. There was something about her no nonsense attitude that really appealed to me.

“Should I ask?” I began after the waitress took our lunch order.

“Well,” Spencer quirked her head hesitating slightly. “After first I was concerned that she might be unbalanced. Following you around and such. Doesn’t look good. I really wanted to know if she had a history of that sort thing.”

“Does she?” I trembled slightly taking a sip of my water.

“No,” she shook her head. “I think she’s keeping an eye on Virginia or ensuring that you are safe. She’s got a squeaky clean record. There is something I stumbled onto that makes me think I should stop digging. Something that isn’t any of our business.”

“Okay,” I shrugged feeling mildly relieved. “If you’re convinced that neither Ginny nor I are in any kind of danger, that’s good enough for me. Her personal life isn’t any of my business.”

“You’re good people, Ellen,” Spencer smiled with a shake of her head. “I doubt I’d be so forgiving. Although I’m still concerned that she might try to make trouble for Ginny. It has to do with what I found out.”

“Trouble?” I grimaced an uneasy feeling creeping up on me. “Beyond the scope of her job?”

“I,” she paused clearing her throat. “Did you think people are born homosexual?”

“Interesting,” I furrowed my brow. It certainly wasn’t a question I had expected. Still if Spencer was asking there was a good reason. “I know I was. Still I could name two old flames that I’m pretty certain something happened to them when they were kids. Why?” I questioned feeling suddenly sick to my stomach. “Or don’t I want to know?”

“Should we know might be a better question,” she sadly confirmed. “Dale Cahill. He was a C.C.D teacher for St. Joseph’s during the thirties and forties. Loretta was one of his charges. Uncle Dale the kiddies’ friend. Pillar of the community. Always volunteering to help the church. Especially for the youth orientated activities. He focused on young girls. Strike that little girls were his favorite.”

“I’m going to throw up.” I choked.

“Pretty much the same reaction I had,” Spencer confessed with a hard swallow. “Against the wishes of his superiors Father O’Malley dropped a dime to the local precinct. The cops invited Cahill downtown for a little chat. They never charged him with anything.”

“Why not?” I spat out horrified.

“He had an accident,” her face turning stone cold. “After a long chat with members of the force they tossed him head first into a holding cell. A very crowded holding cell, filled with the biggest, meanest mothers they could find. As they were locking the cell door behind his sorry ass they might have let it slip why he was there. Then they were unusually slow to respond to the ruckus going on in the cell. It’s an unofficial operating procedure. I doubt they knew he would be killed. Although I suspect that none of the officers involved ever lost any sleep over his untimely passing.”

“What really makes me sick is neither will I,” my stomach churned at my confession.

“Don’t beat yourself up,” she tried to comfort me. “I wanted to be outraged that they crossed that line. I am sickened by the fact that not only don’t I feel enraged, I’m happy the bastard got what he deserved. Going after sexual predators is a favorite of Miss Marino’s. When Virginia’s file landed on her desk it flipped a switch. On the surface Virginia looks like a predator.”

“She’s innocent.” I fumed clenching my fists.

“We know that,” Spencer stressed. “I have to be honest with you, when Uncle Gary first started talking about this case I thought the two of you were tilting at windmills. Ellen, if you didn’t know her and the details and only had her case files to judge her by what would you think?”

I had to dig deep looking past what I knew to be the truth. “I’d think she was a sick pervert,” I strained to admit. “And that she got off easy only having to serve five years.”

“That is exactly what I thought until I learned the facts,” Spencer confided. “If you were Miss Marino what would you think?”

“Loretta is zealot,” I tersely blew out. “Given her history and the limited information she has I can understand her zeroing in on Ginny. Thank God Ginny is in Cedar Hills.”

“Keep her there,” Spencer stressed. “Or anywhere outside of Miss Marino’s jurisdiction. If she is convinced that a dangerous predator is roaming the streets she’ll do anything to put her away. From what I understand she begged to work on the DeSalvo case. Granted I’m thrilled that there is someone out there doing whatever they can to lock up rapists.”

“But she’s wrong,” I tried to argue. “Ginny was innocent.”

“Then let her know that she’s setting her sights on the wrong target,” Spencer demanded. “I understand not wanting the cops or the DA to know what you’ve been doing. The whole case could blow up in your face. If we leak just enough information that would let her know she’s way off base, I think she’ll back down.”

“Are you certain that it is Ginny she’s focusing on?” I questioned digesting her advice.

“Well, she passed by the window about five minutes ago and when she saw you with me she kept going,” Spencer rolled her eyes. “But she stopped to look. Do you want to have her following you around for the rest of your life?”

“I’ll talk to her.” I nodded accepting that Spencer was right.

“Good,” Spencer seemed to relax finally turning her attention towards eating her lunch. “So, what’s the deal with your friend?”

“Ron?” I smiled unable to refrain from laughing. “He thinks you’re pretty.”

“Oh, Lord,” she sighed dramatically still I could see a little something in her eyes. “I couldn’t shake him the other night.”

“He’s a nice guy,” I reassured her with a wink. “He’s bright and won’t talk down to a woman. That was part of my attraction for him back in the day. Well that and he took no for answer. I always felt bad that I had used him as a beard when we were teenagers. Still I really enjoyed spending time with him. I have to say that if per chance you did go out on a date with him, he is a lot of fun.”

“A date?” She scowled rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “He is kind of cute. Nah, he’s a lawyer.”

“I’m a lawyer.” I protested. “Come on Spencer you like him. I can tell. The fact that you didn’t shoot him the other night is proof of that.”

“Yeah, right.”

That night I made a point of seeking out a certain ADA. It wasn’t hard to find someone who was following me. “Take a seat.” I instructed Loretta when she tried to appear surprised to find me in the cafe I had ducked into.

“Thank you.” She studied me closely while complying with my instructions.

“I surprised to find you out so late,” I fought to keep my voice calm while lighting a cigarette. It had been years since I smoked. The recent events had jangled my nerves. After my lunch with Spencer I found myself buying a pack of smokes. “I would have thought that after breaking curfew the other night your parents would have grounded you.”

“Look, Ellen,” she fidgeted rubbing her face furiously. “I’m not trying to disrupt your life. That is the last thing I wanted. But your so called friend is a danger to society. I have an obligation to the community.”

“You know if you weren’t such a pious SOB we might have been incredible together,” I blew out still fighting against the ire surging through me.

“Why am I not surprised that you’re making this personal,” she snorted with disgust. “You don’t know this woman as well as you think you do.”

“No, you don’t know her,” I snidely corrected her sliding a manila envelope across the table.

“What’s this?” She bitterly chastised me.

“The truth. I thought if you knew some of the facts you might have a change of heart,” I tersely explained rising to my feet. “If you still fail to see the light of day, I’ll be forced to go to your superiors.”

“You got moxie. I’ll give you that,” she sniffed picking up the envelope. “I’m sorry things turned out this way.”

“Me too.” I said truly regretting the path we had taken.

I had just walked into my parents home when I heard the most disturbing thing. “You could always trade in the Chevy?” Ginny innocently suggested to my father.

“Tell me you didn’t just say that?” I spat out horrified at the idea.

“Eleanore,” Dad beamed rising to greet me. “Good now that you’re here you talk some sense into this one.” He jerked his thumb towards Ginny. She just shrugged.

“I can’t leave you alone for a second,” I scolded her ruffling her long blonde locks. “Now what in tarnation is going on here?”

“Pops really likes the new Ford. All I was saying is if he wants one he could trade the Chevy in,” Ginny pleaded her case.

“Dad, you in a Ford?” I was stunned. “After the grief you gave Uncle Fred.”

“That dumb ass bought an Edsel,” Dad sneered. “We’re talking about that new one. The Mustang. It’s sharp. But we’re keeping the Bel Air. Your mother loves that car and she’s not letting it go. End of discussion. Now what are you two monkeys doing today?”

“Sandy wanted to get together.” Ginny explained.

“Ah the lush,” Dad groaned. “Should be fun. Have you been smoking?”

“I quit in prison,” Ginny sputtered. “Wasn’t really worth trying to hang on to them.”

“Uhm, no,” I lied quickly ducking out of the room. “Hey, Mom?” I greeted her with a fierce hug when I entered the kitchen.

“Ellie,” she squeezed me tightly. “Good to see you. Have you been smoking?”

“I was just going to ask you the same thing?” I gloated after detecting the distinctive smell of cigarette smoke lingering in her hair.

“Fine, Little Miss Smarty Pants,” Mom sneered apparently she did not enjoy having the tables turned on her. “Don’t think you can pull the wool over your father’s eyes so easily.”

“He’s already hot on my trail,” I confided with a conspiratorial whisper. “Thank goodness Ginny’s trying to convince him to trade in the Chevy so he can buy a Mustang.”

“Not until he pries the keys out my cold dead fingers,” Mom flashed me a cocky smile. Suddenly I had a clear understanding where I get my flippancy from. “I know the car is ten years old. I love it. When the weather is nice I put the top down and just drive.”

“Think you could part with it for an afternoon?” I sheepishly pleaded. “We’re getting together with Sandy and as we all know letting her drive is basically an asinine idea.”

“Lately allowing her to walk isn’t a smart idea,” Mom shook her head with disgust. “What happened to that girl? She has a degree which she does diddly squat with.”

“She doesn’t have to work,” I tried to defend my more than troubled friend.

“Neither do I,” Mom grunted. “We’d get by if I decided to return to my life of cooking, cleaning and watching soap operas. Granted between you and your brother being so driven the extra money has helped. I love what I do. Getting out of the house and helping people buy and sell homes is exciting. Well I find it exciting.”

“I think it is great, Mom,” I patted her shoulder feeling truly proud of her. “Can we get back to the car?”

“After you tell me what is going on,” Mom quietly prodded. “I thought Ginny was thinking of moving back home? What happened?”

“She what?” I stood there stunned. “When was this?”

“She mentioned it, recently,” Mom tried to clarify. “Now she’s talking about checking out more of the great northwest. I take it she hasn’t mentioned any of this to you.”

“Not a word,” I blew out feeling completely flustered. “Things have been a little out of whack. There was this woman and she; well it turned out to be a crazy situation.”

“Why am I not surprised,” Mom groaned wrapping her arms around me. “Sorry. It’s none of my business. As much as I hate to admit it you girls are adults. Take the car. But you better put gas in it. I have an open house tomorrow.”

“You’re the best,” I beamed quickly snatching the car keys and grabbing Ginny. During the short drive over to Sandy’s I wondered if I should mention what Mom had said. By the time we arrived at the Hewitt’s stately home I decided that if Ginny wanted to talk about things she would. Understanding Ginny the way I did, I knew that she’d talk about things only when she was good and ready.

We strolled up to the front door and rang the bell. “You’re awfully quiet,” Ginny noted while we waited for Debbie to answer the door.

“Long week.” I shrugged feigning indifference to her question.

Debbie just scowled at us when she answered the door. The years had done nothing to improve her disposition. Ginny looked around when we stepped inside the foyer greeted by loud music echoing from the upstairs. “I’ll fetch Miss Sandy.” Debbie curtly informed us.

“No need to trouble yourself,” Ginny dismissed her snotty attitude; waving for me to follow her. The sounds of The Rolling Stones grew louder as we approached Sandy’s room. “Loud enough?” She grumbled rapping loudly on Sandy’s door. “Yo Sandy!” We stood out in the hallway waiting. Ginny knocked louder still no one answered. “Come on,” Ginny grunted grabbing the doorknob. “Sandy?” She announced our arrival throwing the door open.

My lungs seized when we stepped into the room finding Sandy sprawled across her bed. “Sandy?” Ginny’s tone frantic as we rushed to her. I snapped off the expensive Hi-Fi silencing Mick Jagger while Ginny tried to rouse Sandy. “Damn it,” Ginny shouted slapping Sandy’s face. “Wake up!”

“Stop!” I froze with fear finding the syringe lying beside the bed. “We need to call an ambulance.”

“Son of a bitch! Sandy,” Ginny pleaded still trying to shake Sandy awake.

I quickly dialed for help explaining that I suspected an overdose but was uncertain as to what Sandy had taken.

“Heroin,” Ginny blurted out reaching for the paraphernalia.

“Don’t!” I shouted pulling Ginny away. “Don’t touch anything. You need to go.”

“What?” Ginny gaped horrified by my words.

“Ginny get your ass out of here,” I demanded.

“Ellen!” She furiously shook me off. “What’s the frigging problem?”

“Ginny, help is on the way,” I sternly instructed dragging her towards the door. “You can’t be here. The cops will show up. Most of the newest members of the force went to high school with us. They know you.”

“What about?” She tried to dissuade me.

Debbie raced into the room turning hysterical. “I’ve called an ambulance,” I tried to comfort the overwrought woman. “Ginny move your ass now. I’ll take care of her,” I vowed pushing Ginny closer towards the door. “This will only spell trouble for you. The drugs alone are enough to screw you over. Go and don’t touch anything on the way out.”

“Dear mother of God,” Mrs. Hewitt joined the party. “What have you done to my daughter?”

“Hopefully found her in time,” I curtly snarled. “Ginny go.”

“This is wrong,” Ginny argued.

“Go,” Debbie echoed finally calming ever so slight. “She is right. ” Debbie encouraged nudging Ginny out of the bedroom.

“I hate this,” Ginny snarled.

“So do I,” I joined her guiding her towards the staircase. “Wait give me a dollar?”

“Excuse me?”

“Just do it,” I growled holding out my hand and snapping my fingers.

“The smallest I have is a five,” she spat out shoving the crumpled bill in my hand.

“Good,” I blew out shoving the bill in my pocket. “If anyone asks I’m your lawyer. Get it. Now go. Out the back way. I’ll call the house when I know something. Please I can’t take care of Sandy and you. Now just scram!”

I shivered from the hostile glare Ginny cast down upon me before finally heeding my words. I turned to find Debbie trailing after me. “I know she wasn’t here,” the older woman creaked out as we went back to help Sandy. It was a nightmare from that moment on. The ambulance and police arrived whisking Sandy away. She was hanging on which I prayed was a good sign. Debbie and Mrs. Hewitt for some unknown reason let me take charge with the police. They even backed me up when I said that I had been alone when I discovered Sandy. My bad luck that Mark Danes, Margie’s husband, was one of the responding officers. Needless to say that there was no love lost between us.

“Look for the last time, Mark,” I fiercely informed him. “No one here knows where she got the drugs or how much she took. It’s not like her mother sat around watching her shoot up. Can I please take her family to the hospital? If you have any further questions you can speak to my client after she is out of danger.”

“Your client?” He laughed. “Oh right you’re a hot shot lawyer now.”

“For the love of,” I fought to keep my anger in check. “Take your stupidity out on me later. Her mother would like to be with her.”

“Danes!” The other officer finally stepped in. “We got the drugs. She’s her lawyer there’s nothing else we can do. Let her mother go see her.”

“Yes, sir.” Mark snarled never taking his eyes off of me.

The trip to the hospital and subsequent wait was nerve wracking. During the agonizing wait, I tried to comfort Mrs. Hewitt. I also managed to convince her to let me continue handling the police. It was hours before we received word that Sandy was out of danger. “Thank God,” I gasped a wave of relief washing over me. Mrs. Hewitt went to see Sandy. Since she was the only family member she was the only one allowed to be with her.

“Eleanore Druette?” A weary voice called to me after I had bought another stale cup of coffee from the vending machine.

“Yes,” I groaned turning to face the tired looking man wearing a rumpled suit.

“Andrew Bennett, Essex County DA,” he tersely informed me.

“Oh goodie,” I nodded taking a seat in the waiting room. “How do you want to proceed? I haven’t been the afforded the opportunity to speak with my client.”

“Cedar Hills,” he grunted seating himself beside me. “I just love the suburbs. Okay, can we skip all the my client is an upstanding member of the community from a fine family crap?”

“Love it.” I blew out not really in the mood to clean up after Sandy’s mess.

“The police confiscated a lot of drugs in Miss Hewitt’s bedroom,” he flipped through his notes. “Heroin and LSD. And she has a prior history of drunk driving.”

“Never been formally charged and search was illegal, next.” I droned without batting an eye.

“I think I can get the search in,” he played with me. “The drugs were in plain sight.”

“Not all of them,” I adeptly countered. “I find it heinous that while the EMT’s were working on Miss Hewitt, officer Danes was searching her bedroom.”

“He had probable cause,” Bennett almost laughed at me. I was in way over my head and I knew it. I just had to maintain my composure and just maybe Sandy wouldn’t end up in a jail cell after she recovered.

“She names her dealer and goes in for treatment,” I offered knowing it was probably why he had bothered coming to the hospital on a Saturday night. “Then this goes away.”

“You read my mind,” he yawned. “I have to be honest if it was up to me I’d prosecute. I’m sick and tired of these snotty rich kids. They’ve been handed everything on a silver platter and skate through life. And then they just piss it away.”

“I’m inclined to agree with you,” I groaned rubbing my throbbing temple. “But you want the dealers more. First chance I get I’ll discuss your offer with my client. I’ll call you as soon as I can.”

“A pleasure,” he thanked me handing me his card.

After he left I called home and let everyone know that Sandy was out the woods. Mom let it slip that Ginny was ticked off at me. “I’ll deal with that later,” I snapped. “Right now I have to save Sandy’s ass again. I’ll talk to Ginny when I get in.” Then I waited until Sandy had been transferred to a room and was up for visitors. It was early afternoon by the time I was allowed to see her.

“Guess I screwed up lunch.” She tried to joke.

“That was yesterday,” I rolled my shoulders hovering beside her bed. “Been screwing up a lot lately, kiddo. Here’s the deal. The cops found your stash. Wasn’t hard since the Horse you were shooting was still near the bed.”

“Fuck me,” she snapped her frail body shuddering from the outburst. “Why didn’t you hide it?”

“Sorry I was a little busy trying to save your life,” I curtly informed her. “Now, unless you want to hire a different lawyer I’m trying to save your ass from jail. Name your dealer then get your ass into a clinic and this goes away.”

“What? I’m not ratting out a friend. And I don’t need to go some half assed clinic,” she venomously spat out. “I only get buzzed to have some fun. I’m not a junkie.”

“First this person is not your friend,” I clenched my jaw. “Secondly this is your only option. Hey hire a real lawyer. I don’t care. What I do care about is the fact that you don’t seem upset that you overdosed. Or isn’t this the first time? I’ll stand by you. But I will not watch you kill yourself. Name, names get clean or rot. Your call.”

“Jesus, Ellen. Candy isn’t a dealer,” she scoffed at the notion. “Her boyfriend just has a connection.”

“Candy?” My jaw dropped. “Whatever. I’m sure Mr. Wonderful will turn on his connection. No one is going to come looking for you. Better still why don’t you just hire another lawyer? I can’t help you if you refuse to admit you have a problem. I’m going home.”

“Wait,” she groaned her frail body still shaking. “Fine. Tell the cops it was Candy. I hate you. This wasn’t any of your business.”

“At least you’re alive to tell me off,” I muttered before stepping out of the room. I stopped to talk to her mother. I explained everything. She seemed relieved that rehab was part of the deal. Of course I had to explain what rehab was. Back then it wasn’t as common place as it is today. After going over everything with Mrs. Hewitt I went to the nearest payphone and called Bennett. I gave up my former classmate, Candy without batting an eye. The charges against Sandy were unceremoniously dropped.

By the time I made it home I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to the bright eyed wonders I had grown up with? Bennett was right economic differences aside we had the world handed to us. Ginny was the only one who had an excuse. She had been framed. Sandy, Candy and a long list of my former friends seemed to be tossing their futures out the window with both hands.

My mind and body were spent by the time I arrived home. I hid in the garage for a moment and decided to chain smoke. I just wanted to go to sleep. Knowing that my rest would be sidetracked because Ginny was in a foul mood truly irked me. “Are you trying to send up smoke signals?” Ginny startled me.

“Maybe.” I curtly informed her taking a long drag of my cigarette.

“You need to get some rest,” Ginny softly directed me stealing my smoke and snuffing it out. “Haven’t you been watching the news? Those things are bad for you.”

“Brat,” I scowled unable to look at her. It had been a very long night. The weight of the events made heavier by Sandy’s hostile words. “Ginny, I know you’re ticked off. It was the right thing to do.”

“Now that sounds familiar,” she tried to tease me. I expelled an exhausted sigh casting a weary gaze over at her. “I’m not pissed. You were right. The cops would have taken one look at the drugs and my record and I’d be packing up for another trip to the big house. Being reminded of how useless I am hurt me.”

“You’re not useless,” I whined stomping my feet like a small child. “Sorry, I’m wiped. Waiting all night with Mrs. Hewitt who isn’t the ogre I thought she was. Then saving Sandy’s butt from the cops. I got her off. I made the whole thing go away. You know what she said? She hates me.”

“Now you feel like you have to stroke my ego,” Ginny linked her arm in mine guiding me towards the house. “I’m fine. It was a knee jerk reaction. Good thing you kept a clear head. Thank you. And Sandy will get over it once she is thinking clearly. Now if I may be so bold? I’m taking you to bed. Uhm I mean putting you to bed. I’ll drive you back into the city after you get some rest. Just tell me one thing. What was that bit about the money?”

“A retainer,” I tried to explain. “If somehow the cops linked you to things, I could step in as your legal council. Or better still call one of the big guns I work for.”

“I thought you said all you do is run errands and draft motions for the big guys?” Ginny exclaimed leading me up to my old bedroom.

“Basically.” I nodded.

“There is going to be hell to pay when they let you out of the gate,” Ginny surmised.

“They have a couple of times,” I yawned. “I got to beat up on Loretta in court.”

“Music to my ears,” she laughed opening the door to my old room. “Now sleep.”

“Where are the folks?” I questioned suddenly realizing that the house was unusually quiet.

“Out,” she shrugged. “Ma had an open house and Pops made plans to go fishing with Mr. Connelly. They were going to stay but I told them to go ahead. Sandy is out of the woods and you would probably crash the moment you got in.”

“Mr. Connelly huh?” I nervously chewed on my bottom lip after hearing Candy’s father mentioned. “Whew they are in for a nasty surprise when they get back.”

“What’s up?”

“Can’t say,” I offered meekly still wondering when Candy had gotten divorced. If she had a boyfriend she must have split with her hubby. Amazing just how huge my blind spot was when it came to my childhood buddies.

“Did Sandy give you a dollar?” Ginny teased me with a playful nudge.

“No,” I laughed. “She gets a bill from the firm. Maybe that’ll teach her some manners.”

I wouldn’t find out if Sandy’s disposition had improved for a long time. Her mother on the other hand couldn’t stop thanking me. Not only did she pay the absorbent bill my firm laid on Sandy she hired the firm to take over her legal affairs. This made my bosses very happy. The Hewitt’s finances added a nice chunk of change to the firm’s bank account. I think they were more impressed by the business I was bringing in than by my skills. Sad to say that in a big firm it is all about the billable hours. They didn’t give a hoot that I was just trying to help out a friend.

The Connelly’s on the other hand were stunned. Apparently they had no idea that Candy was sneaking around on her husband with a shady character who sold drugs. Sadly her husband had no idea either until the cops showed up asking questions. The boyfriend was a seedy little thug who from what I heard turned over the name of his supplier before skipping out of town. He left Candy with a stack of unpaid debts and a broken marriage. Not long after the dust had settled Ginny left town. She called to say goodbye, not really explaining which direction she was heading in.

PART ELEVEN

1966

This was an exciting year. LBJ announced that the US should stay in Vietnam, former Massachusetts Attorney General Edward Brooks became the first African American elected to the senate, the National Organization Of Women was founded, Martin Luther King lead a civil rights march in Chicago, Cleveland experienced race riots for the first time, and John Lennon announced that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus. A statement he would later apologize for. My father, along with many others, felt Lennon was blasphemous. I on the other hand found it not only slightly amusing but accurate. The gap between the generations became epic. Television shows like Ozzie & Harriet, Raw Hide and Dick Van Dyke gave way to Star Trek, Dark Shadows and That Girl. My parents were dancing to Sinatra and Louie Armstrong while my peers and I were mellowing out with the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. A high point for me that year was not only the Supreme Court ruling in favor of Miranda, but Spencer had finally agreed to go out with Ron. Then there was the little matter of my own victory in court which ended up changing my life.

“I can’t stand these things,” Spencer tugged at her waist.

“Pantyhose?” I nodded agreeing with her. The new apparel did save time; still the buggers weren’t very comfortable. “Wear stockings then.”

“I can’t change again,” she huffed checking her makeup once again. “He’ll be here soon. Maybe I should cancel?”

“You know seeing you act like a girlie girl is freaking me out,” I shook my head thoroughly disgusted by the sudden change in her. “Bad enough I had Ron spazzing all week over this. Just wash the makeup off, change into something comfortable and please leave your gun at home. With the way you’re bugging out I’m beginning to fear for Ron’s safety. He likes you just the way you are. You dont have to pretend to be Donna Reed just to impress him.”

“I hate dating,” she sneered at me wiping some of her makeup off.

“Everyone hates dating,” I snidely informed her while I mentally calculated the last time I had experienced going out on a date. “Look he’s a nice guy who has been chasing you for months. Just relax and be yourself.”

“How can I relax when you won’t let me take my gun?” Her words were harsh still I could detect the slightest hint of fear in her eyes.

“On a date?” I slowly questioned pondering whether or not Spencer was far more quirky than I thought. “Whatever floats your boat.” I rolled my eyes. “Spencer, I know it has been a long time since I’ve gone out on a date. Still I don’t seem to recall needing to arm myself.”

“It really has been a long time since you went out with a guy,” Spencer teased shaking out her hands in an effort to calm herself.

“Hmm, let me think,” I pursed my lips trying to recall my last co-ed evening. “That would have been when I went to my senior prom with Ron. Nope didn’t require firearms.”

“I’m so glad you’re getting a chuckle out of this,” she sneered. “Brrr,” she blew out. “It’s just dinner.”

“There’s the spirit,” I snickered. “And he’s paying. I have to go.”

“What?” She was shaking as I headed out of her bedroom.

“I should go,” I sheepishly offered. “Spencer, things will go much smoother if I’m not here. I work with the guy. I dated him. Three’s a crowd?” I tossed out before making my escape. After ditching Spencer I decided to go for walk and simply enjoy the city and the unexpected warm spell we were experiencing. I stopped for a cup of coffee when my feet finally began to tire. “Eleanore Druette,” she sounded amused as she slowly drew out my name.

“Just once, I’d like to stop for a cup of Joe without running into someone from my past,” I offered Loretta a mock scowl as she claimed the seat beside me.

“Good luck with that,” she merrily quipped.

“My God you’re smiling,” I noted with appreciation. “I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile.”

“That’s probably because it was before I started doubting you and jumping to conclusions.” Loretta offered sincerely.

“My goodness this has been an eventful day,” I blinked with surprise. “That almost sounded like an apology.”

“It is,” she stressed with a shy smile. “I wish to atone not only for not believing you, but for taking so long in telling you I was wrong. After I read those statements you gave me, I began digging. Hit a few stonewalls before I discovered that Virginia Swenson received worse representation than the defendants from the Salem Witch Trials. I have something for you.”

“I do so love presents,” I drew out slowly studying her carefully.

“This one is a doozy,” she cocked her head and flashed me a smile. “Alfonso DeMarco.”

“Gesundheit,” I blinked trying to grasp what she was trying to tell me. “I’ll bite. Who is Alfonso DeMarco?”

“He’s a lawyer,” she continued grinning at me.

“So are we,” I sputtered feeling thoroughly frustrated.

“He is a very prominent attorney,” she continued ignoring my flustered state. “He started his career as a lackey for none other than James Sutherland. His primary responsibilities being restricted to cleaning up after the firm’s wealthier client’s children. He handled all of their legal woes. He received his big break in the winter of 1956. He made a tough call that neither the big wigs at the firm nor his client were capable of doing.”

“Sacrificing one twin for the other,” I choked out feeling disgusted.

“Perhaps,” she pretended to be surprised. “Then again I can’t prove that. Saying anything about the matter would be defamation of character. I can only guess that perhaps he saw a certain unpleasant situation as a career move. Sadly I doubt that he will ever confirm that. Still he is quite ill. Perhaps his conscience is weighing on him. The big C. I hear that Beth Israel can work miracles with cancer patients. I wonder if he went there.”

“Thank you,” I flashed a sly grin.

“No,” she dismissed my earnest words. “I always assumed that when it came to sexual crimes, if it walked like a duck and quacked like a duck it was a duck. This time it was most definitely a platypus.”

“Hmm, I just love big words,” I couldn’t help laughing. “Buy you a cup of coffee?”

“I’d like that.”

The following day I set out to find whatever I could about Alfonso DeMarco or Al D’ as his cronies called him. On the surface he was a local boy done good; a real self made man. Al worked like a dog going to school at night while taking care of his elderly mother. After passing the bar he excelled at the prestigious firm of Sutherland, Carpenter, Ludlow and Hennessy. Al made partner in record time, his career sky rocketing after 1956.

It didn’t prove anything beyond interesting. So, I went to see Spencer. The new dirt afforded me the opportunity to pump her for information about her date. Spencer was a wealth of information when it came to other people. Making inquiries into her personal life often proved futile. The details of the previous evening were limited to, it was nice. Good thing the following day was Monday. Good, bad or indifferent Ron would be a fountain of information. Spencer did seem excited about the new lead in Ginny’s case.

My work for the day seemed to be complete. I did try to engage Spencer in a little girl talk. Not her forte. I dropped it and went home. The walls of my little abode were stifling. I tried to watch a little television. My mind refused to focus. I was itching to know just what Al DeMarco did or did not do. Unable to stand being alone for another second, I decided to grab a drink at Georgias. It called itself a tea room, everyone knew that meant girl bar. What I enjoyed about Georgia’s was that it was quaint, no loud music, pool tables or any of the other trappings most of the bars possessed. I could just sit; enjoy a cocktail without worrying about being bothered.

When she sat down beside me at the bar, I thought nothing of it. She was a tiny fireball with the most adorable accent. When she mentioned where I worked I was unnerved. “Sorry,” she quickly apologized making a point to touch me as she spoke. “Jane Higginbotham I’m with the London office. I’ve seen you around the office.”

“Oh,” I sputtered with relief. “Ellen Druette. I’m a junior associate in criminal.”

Jane was nothing short of charming. Despite knowing better I ended my evening in her hotel room. Getting involved with someone at the firm was far from a wise choice. In hindsight things might have gone more smoothly if my tryst with Jane amounted to nothing more than a one night stand. When things began we took it casually. We were cautious because we worked for the same firm. And then there was the annoying detail of residing in different time zones which at the time seemed insurmountable. We just kicked back and enjoyed the ride. After she returned home we wrote and called one another. I even went to visit her in London for a week. It was a great trip. London in the sixties was an incredible experience. Later I would learn that not only were Jane and I from different countries we lived in completely different worlds.

It began when I came to the end of a very long journey. Just two years out of law school and I found myself standing before the Supreme Judicial Court for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts my former law professor standing by my side. No one from the prestigious firm of Manning, Rockwell & Diamond, where I was employed as a junior associate, were aware of what I was doing that day. I didn’t care if they found out. All I wanted that day was to finally put the demons to rest. On the other side representing the state’s district attorney’s office was Myron Sturgis a very tough litigator.

I stood before the seven wise men that ruled over the SJC and presented my motion. Thanks to some unusual maneuvering the case bypassed the Appeals court and was put on the docket for direct review. Normally only a case that contained matters of a state wide interest was handled in this matter. This case was different. The honorable Judge Warner was ready to retire and everyone considered that it would be in the best interest of all concerned if this matter was handled quickly and quietly.

I recited each point, the affidavits, the witness statements, Officer Doherty’s signed statement, the original transcripts, and the fact that the lead detective ignored investigating another viable suspect. I never found out what Spencer found out about Al DeMarco. Whatever happened when she paid him a call was clouded in mystery. All I did know was that suddenly we had no trouble finding out anything.

When I concluded presenting my motion I thanked the Judges and took my seat. It was Sturgis’ turn to rip my motion to shreds. “Your honors,” he respectfully began. “After reviewing the facts in this case the state has no objection to the motion presented before this court.”

“None?” One of the wise men questioned.

“At first we were curious as to why a decade’s old case was being drudged up,” Sturgis graciously conceded. “Then after careful review of the evidence my office feels that in the interest of justice the earlier plea entered by the defendant be vacated. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter we do request that it not become fodder for the press.” He thanked the court and took his seat. The seven wise men stood explaining that they would return with their decision.

“He’s not fighting this?” I whispered to Professor Larson.

“Apparently not.” He blinked with surprise. “But he is requesting that the matter be hushed up. No trying to go after the cops, the DA or Sutherland.”

“I don’t care,” I gushed under my breath. “As long as Ginny’s record is cleared that’s all that matters.”

The wise men returned in record time. “We are not interested in this case turning into a spectacle,” one of them cautioned. “Still after reviewing Miss Swenson’s case it is more than evident there were numerous reversible errors committed. She received poor advice from counsel; the police were remiss for not looking into Miss Swenson’s twin sister’s whereabouts regarding the nights in question, and the numerous witness statements which seem to exonerate Miss Swenson from any wrong doing. Had she gone to trial it is unlikely that she would have been convicted based on the evidence. In the interest of justice the plea is vacated, Miss Swenson’s record will be expunged and sealed. Since the statute of limitations has been exhausted we consider this matter closed. We concur with Mr. Sturgis there is no need for this matter to be flaunted in the press. You’re not making case law here Miss Druette is that understood?”

“Yes your honor.” I readily agreed.

An hour later I returned to my tiny little office after placing copies of the court’s verdict in the post office box informing Ginny that she was no longer a convicted felon. Before I had a chance to sit down I was summoned to one of the senior partner’s office. “Miss Druette please take a seat,” Mr. Diamond addressed me in a droll tone. I complied with his instructions while worrying about my future. “I must say you are full of surprises. I wasn’t aware that you were handling an appeal. One of my junior associates going toe to toe with SJC; pulling off a decisive victory within ten minutes that is quite an accomplishment. Now why wasn’t I aware of this before you went to court this morning?”

“It wasn’t one of the firm’s cases,” I politely explained. “You know how it is sometimes. Being a lawyer is like owning a truck, but instead of everyone asking you to help them to move they want free legal advice. Still this was a personal matter.”

“I see,” he nodded pressing his fingers together. “You are an impressive young lady. If today and your previous work is any indication I wouldn’t be surprised to see you making your way to the partnership track. And if you are going to advance in this firm you should be aware of something. We do not, repeat do not, handle sodomy cases. Sex offenders are not clients we wish to represent not even pro bono. Is that understood?”

“Yes.” I nodded before standing.

“Good.” He gloated.

“You’ll have my resignation on your desk by the end of business today,” I informed him as I turned to leave.

“What?” He gasped.

“I quit.”

“Miss Druette think about what you are doing?” He threatened me.

“I am,” I asserted. “If this isn’t the kind of firm that is interested in clearing an innocent woman’s name then this is certainly not the kind firm I want to work for. Peace.”

Ten hours after the greatest victory of my fledgling legal career I was sitting by myself in Olde Towne Tavern nursing a sloe gin fizz the ultimate sissy drink. “Now what kind of sissy drink is that?” Ron echoed my thoughts.

“Then order me a man’s drink?” I demanded. “I’m out of work so you’re paying.”

“So are we,” he smirked stepping aside revealing Rita, Kim, Tyler and Professor Larson.

“Well I was about ready to retire, but now I’m thinking of pursuing a different avenue,” Professor Larson smiled.

“What gives?” I questioned as they claimed the stools around me.

“We heard what you did and we quit,” Ron boasted. “Now we need real drinks.”

“No guys,” I argued. “This is my battle; always has been.”

“You got a ten year old conviction tossed out,” Kim gasped. “Not for money, but because it was the right thing to do. That is the kind of lawyer I want to work with.”

“What impresses me the most is your client never knew that you were doing this,” Professor Larson laughed. “Barkeep a bottle of your finest champagne or whatever passes for champagne around here.”

“Your client didn’t know?” Rita sputtered. “Now how did you pull that off?”

“She wasn’t a client,” I tried to explain. “She’s my friend and she was innocent.”

“Wait this was Ginny?” Ron sputtered. “This case was Ginny. She’s in the clear?”

“As of ten o’clock this morning.” I smirked as the bartender poured something that looked like champagne before us.

“In all the years I’ve been practicing law this case is the one time I felt right about what I was doing,” Larson explained. “I’d like to feel that way about all of my cases. Now I understand that Kim is good with family law, Rita here is a whiz when it comes to kids, Ron loves the good fight, Tyler is a good tax man and you are unstoppable. I say we have the makings of a good law firm. Not a profitable one, but I’m ready to fight the good fight. The times they are a changing. Come on I’m the old geezer here you are the one supposing to be taking the bull by the horns.”

“Opening our own shop?” I pondered the notion. It wasn’t completely insane except collectively, with the exception of Larson, we didn’t share more than a decade of experience between us. Still with Professor Larson’s experience and guidance we might just be able to pull it off. We cheered our new venture and ordered another round of drinks.

“Well there she is,” he looked older and somehow more pathetic than the last time I had seen him. He staggered closer disrupting the celebration and invading my personal space. “So you finally cleared that perverted tart. Proud of yourself? Setting a pervert free?” Jarworski slurred assaulting me with his foul breath.

“Yes I am,” I briskly countered. “Are you? How did it feel framing a seventeen year old girl? Ruining her life? I suppose those spanking new cars you bought for you and your wife just before that Christmas must have eased your consequence. Or was it when you paid off your mortgage?” I pushed I had a lot of dirt on this guy; no way he was going to make me back down. It took me ten years, but I found every skeleton in his filthy little closet. He just stood there slack jawed gaping at me his eyes turning dark angry with me for having the gall to parade his indiscretions in public. Still having him struck mute clinging to the ropes I had no choice but to push him even further. “Tell me Detective did you sleep better at night after that speedboat suddenly appeared in your driveway the week after contraband was discovered in Virginia Swenson’s cell there by ensuring she would serve the full term? Shall I continue?” The sick part was that the things I had mentioned were just the tip of the iceberg. He was a dirty cop and a bigot to boot. Even with all the gifts he had received over the years the chip on his shoulder only seemed to grow bigger.

“You just watch your step little lady,” he snarled the smell of cheap whiskey almost knocking me over. “This can be a dangerous city.”

“You wouldn’t be threatening my colleague now would you?” Professor Larson piped in. “That wouldn’t be a wise course of action considering that you are in a bar full of lawyers who as officers of the court would be duty bound to report such an offense.”

Jarworski glanced over his shoulder noticing for the first time the barroom was quiet all eyes glued to the scene since it began. The room was filled with lawyers and cops most of whom would have loved to make Jarworski pay for disgracing the badge. Jarworski just scoffed at them far too drunk to realize that the entire conversation including my accusations had been overheard by everyone. He turned back to me not willing to walk away without having the finally word. “Fine have it your way dyke,” he spat at me. “I was just saying a woman living alone should be careful.” Then he just stumbled off pushing his way through the crowd. I shivered not missing how he had stressed the point that I lived alone.

“Well that was a trip,” I blew it off trying to act as if I wasn’t afraid. Thankfully the crowd turned away and ignored me.

“How did you know all of that?” Ron asked with concern.

“We know a great many things about Detective Jarworski,” Professor Larson explained in a grim tone. “We just decided that it would probably be in our best interest to keep the details close to the vest as it were.”

“He’s a dirty cop,” Ron fumed.

“Who knows that I live alone,” I cautiously pointed out. “And just who would I report him to? His co-workers must have noticed two brand new cars. Even in 56 no way he could afford such a lavish purchase. They either helped or looked the other way.”

“So another round?” Tyler quickly suggested. “Now we need to discuss some very important matters like what are we going to call our new venture? I think alphabetical would be a good idea.”

“Hmm,” Ron smirked. “Bacon, Cho, Druette, Horowitz, Larson and O’Keefe. That would put you dear Tyler at the top of the letter head wouldn’t it?”

“So it does.” Tyler laughed.

“With that mix of names we could just call ourselves the firm from Ellis Island.” Kim choked.

“What about something more socially relevant?” Rita piped in. “And what about office space?”

“Good point I doubt my studio would provide a suitable space to greet clients,” I chimed in.

“I can’t believe you’re still living in that shoebox,” Ron groaned.

“I like my shoebox.” I firmly replied.

“Yeah it keeps your girlfriends from moving in,” Ron laughed.

“Exactly.” I beamed.

“Ellen I’m shocked,” Professor Larson laughed. “That doesn’t sound like you. Living in cramped quarters just to avoid a commitment.”

“Oh but that is me,” I whole heartedly confessed. “My sworn duty is to the law not shacking up with someone that I know will drive me bonkers in a month’s time. Now back to the matter at hand just where are we going to hang our shingle?”

“I’ll get started on it in the morning.” Professor Larson promised. “In the meantime, since I have spent the last seventeen years or so pushing pencils and teaching classes rather than actually being in a courtroom, and you guys are still wet behind the ears; I think it would be prudent that all of us volunteer our time to the Public Defenders Office. We can build experience and possibly a client base.”

When I returned home that evening my phone was ringing off the hook. “Ellen, what were you thinking?” Jane demanded apparently having heard the news all the way across the pond.

“I was thinking of my friend,” I blurted out furious at her snarly tone.

“Dandy,” Jane groaned indignantly. “You did a good deed. Bully for you. That doesn’t explain why you chucked your job? Diamond wasn’t giving you the boot.”

“No,” I hissed. “He was telling me not to even think about doing it again. Sorry, not going to happen.”

“Ellen, you’re a kid who is already making a name for herself,” Jane chastised me. “Why would you piss that away? Do you honestly think that you’re going to make the cut by getting snippy? Fighting the good fight is admirable but it doesn’t pay the rent.”

“Wow? Talk about bringing me down. I just won probably the biggest case of my career and all you’re thinking about is the bread?” I was positively disgusted by her gruesome attitude.

“Ellen, I’m proud of you,” Jane stressed. “I’m just being realistic. Even the noblest of ventures come at a price.”

“I guess that’s it then,” I surmised once again questioning my taste in women.

“What?” Jane sputtered. “Hold on there. Is this the way you always handle the women in your life? The first row and you’re ready to call it a day?”

“Jane,” I struggled to find the words. I wanted to ream her for being completely insensitive. I wanted to tell her that I knew what I wanted and chasing the almighty dollar wasn’t it. “I have to go.”

“You just hung up?” Evelyn fussed after I finished retelling the events that led to my ending things with Jane.

“Yes,” I shook my head still miffed at Jane. I decided that a night out with the girls was in order. Spencer, Evelyn and I gathered at a small restaurant and I told them everything. “What?” I barked not pleased by the blank looks I was receiving.

“Jane was right,” Spencer quietly deduced. “You didn’t talk about things. You just threw in the towel.”

“No,” I feebly tried to argue. “That’s not how it went down. Jane was more concerned about how I would pay the rent than what I had accomplished.”

“Or she was worried about your future,” Evelyn piped in.

“What you did was nothing short of amazing,” Spencer dived right in. “No one is diminishing that. But Jane has a point.”

“Yeah on her head.” I snarled completely miffed that my so called friends weren’t taking my side.

“Be that as it may,” Spencer plodded along. “I think the new firm is a noble idea. But I’m worried about Ron. If this fails Uncle Gary can always rely on his savings and investments. The rest of you just cut off your nose to spite your face. Being the youngest and the least experienced both you and Ron have the most at stake. Word travels fast. You didn’t just quit your job you threw it in Diamond’s face. Plus your win in court the other day ruffled more than a few feathers. And the pipelines we used to get to the nitty gritty were at times shady to say the least. You dont want to know what DeMarco was into. Sad to say but if that sorry bastard wasnt ready to kick the bucket we would had been left twisting in the wind.”

“And you do tend to burn bridges when it comes to your relationships,” Evelyn joined the party. “With the exception of Ginny you’re looking for the escape hatch at the first sign of trouble.”

“I do not,” I huffed. “What about Connie? Or Carrie?”

“You weren’t in love with either of them,” Evelyn blew me off. “It was easy to stick around knowing that eventually they would leave you.”

“You suck.” I quickly dismissed her words of wisdom.

“When was the last time you’ve heard from Ginny?” Evelyn trumped me. “Her last visit? That was what last spring? You have got to let it go.”

“I have,” I further waged my losing battle. “She’s gone, her case is a done deal and maybe Ill see her at Christmas.”

“You believe her?” Evelyn gloated.

“No,” Spencer answered in a disapproving tone. “I’ve always been curious about that last visit. Showing up with candles, wine and bubble bath.”

“Don’t forget the color television,” Evelyn added her two cents. “Just the two of them in that teeny tiny apartment sipping wine and watching the boob tube. Sounds positively romantic.”

“It was a late birthday present,” I spat out bothered by a niggling thought. Mom had said that Ginny was thinking of coming home around that time. Then poof it was never mentioned again and Ginny hit the bricks. The truth was I couldn’t allow myself to read too much into the events. “Don’t Ron and Wally do things like that?”

“Yes,” Evelyn nodded.

“They’re our boyfriends and want to have sex with us,” Spencer gleefully spelled out for my benefit. “Not that it works.” She boldly concluded.

“When was the last time Ginny felt a need to bribe you so you’d take your clothes off?” Evelyn snidely questioned.

“Never.” I was appalled by the thought.

“Something was up,” Spencer furrowed her brow.

“Whatever it was, the moment has passed,” I reluctantly conceded. I hated that they were right. “You know you guys are supposed to agree with me. Jane is evil and I can do better.”

“Fine, Jane is evil.” Spencer snorted mystified by my logic.

“You can do better,” Evelyn glumly tossed out.

Professor Larson’s suggestion that we pay our dues volunteering for the public defenders office made a lot of sense. Now wasn’t it my good fortune that the first case I pulled for the PD’s office was a juvie case that was being heard in Judge Warner’s court. I begged, I pleaded and groveled for a different case to no avail. How do you face some kid and tell them that the judge who is not only a hard ass but he hates women lawyers and lesbians had a personal vendetta against me. It was true. The second word got back to him that I had Ginny’s conviction overturned he decided to postpone his impending retirement and got himself appointed back on the bench.

The poor kid was in deep. His case was simple or would have been if he had drawn any other judge. He painted his girlfriend’s name on the gas tower. No biggie unless you’re facing Judge Warner. “Jasper Burke?” I called out beckoning him and his parents to join me just outside of the courtroom. “I’m your new attorney.”

“Why?” His father tersely questioned.

“The PD’s office is overwhelmed and I was handed Jasper’s case,” I carefully explained. “Here’s the deal. If you had drawn any other judge this would already be over. You would have said I’m sorry and paid a fine. Judge Warner on the other hand is very strict. So here is what we are going to do. From this moment on you’re Opie Taylor. You’re changing your plea and begging for mercy and you’re going to volunteer to repaint the tower yourself.”

“Hold on little lady,” his dad interrupted me. I just hate being called that.

“Mr. Burke,” I interjected. “If this works then Jasper will end up with probation and his record will be sealed after he turns eighteen. If it doesn’t then your son is going to reform school which I suspect is what Judge Warner is planning. Think about it while I’ll go have a chat with the DA and see if he will agree to the plea.”

“Druette?” Roland Miller gasped. “How did you get stuck here?”

“Roll of the dice,” I groaned.

“Warner is going to throw a clot when he sees you,” Miller sputtered his beady eyes widening with fear.

“No way around it,” I blew out. “The Burke case; I have an idea that might just keep this kid from getting screwed.” I ran my idea past him and he was more than willing to give the kid a break. He had been more than willing to do so until the case landed on Warner’s docket.

“It could work,” Miller stroked his chin. “Except that Warner wants your head on a platter.”

“So I’ve heard. Just back me up on this.”

“Okay.” He agreed. “I mean I feel for the kid, Warner is talking about sentencing him to three years.”

“Just follow my lead.”

“You must have been very bad in a past life,” Miller taunted me.

“Apparently,” I groan. “I don’t get it. The SJC stressed they didn’t want a big deal made out of the case. Before I got back to my office it was all over town. The icing on the cake is Warner decides that he can’t retire now that he is under a cloud of suspicion so the boys reappoint him.”

“Hey I’m not thrilled,” Miller agreed “There have been a ton of kids dragged in front of him who I felt made a mistake and deserved another chance and I’m a hard ass. Now he won’t give up the gavel until we pry it out of his cold dead hand. That’s us.” He nodded when the bailiff announced that court was in session.

I sat beside my client and his agitated parents reassuring them to trust me. Deep down I had a sinking feeling that poor Jasper was going to be sentenced to hard time the second Warner laid eyes on me. There were a few cases ahead of us and I could sense Jasper growing tenser as Judge Warner passed down one harsh sentence after another. One poor kid was even bullied into enlisting rather than face jail time.

“The Commonwealth vs. Burke.” The bailiff rang out.

“Ready?” I whispered to the boy.

“Opie Taylor.” He nodded.

“Good boy,” I patted him on the shoulder before guiding him to the appropriate spot. “Eleanore Druette for the defense your honor.”

The courtroom fell into an awkward silence. “Well,” Warner gloated stroking his graying mustache. “This is a surprise. Nice to know that you expanded your talents beyond deviants.” All eyes were on me. I stood my ground refusing to allow him to bait me.

“Good morning your honor.” I dutifully addressed him. “If it pleases the court my client would like to change his plea to guilty pursuant to a plea agreement with the District Attorney’s office.

“A plea?” Warner growled. “For defacing government property?”

“An act for which my client is deeply ashamed of,” I countered. “The agreement would stipulate that my client would be placed on probation for the period of one year after which if Mr. Burke maintains an unblemished recorded his record sealed.” Warner opened his mouth to shoot me down when I cut him off. “Providing of course he personally repaints the tower.”

“Wait,” Warner was stunned. “Young man do you understand what this lady is saying?”

I nudged Jasper prompting him to look completely repentant. “Yes Sir, I am very sorry for committing such a childish act and embarrassing my family.”

“And you’re going to repaint the tower all by yourself? No help from your father or friends?” Warner stressed.

“Mr. Burke wants to take responsibility for actions,” I asserted.

“And you agree with these terms Mr. Miller?” Warner glared at the poor man.

“Yes your honor.”

“I must say I am impressed,” Warner nodded. “Don’t smile Mr. Burke you’re not out of the woods yet. I will postpone my ruling for two weeks. We’ll meet back here and if that tower doesn’t meet with my expectations I’m accepting your guilty plea and sending you off to reform school. Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir,” Jasper squeaked.

“Case postponed until two weeks from today,” Warner ruled slamming his gavel before waving it at poor Jasper. “Be forewarned I’m checking that tower myself. Miss Druette I’m holding you responsible.”

“Understood your honor.”

“Unbelievable,” Miller shook his head.

I turned smiling when I spotted my Dad lurking in the back of the courtroom. I led Jasper and his family out of the courtroom waving to my Dad to let him know I’d talk to him in a bit. “So you understand?” I questioned the shaking teenager. “I’m going to send a police officer with you. I don’t want you to get in trouble for being on the tower and he will verify whether or not you did the work yourself. Do a good job and you put this behind you. Screw it up and your toast.”

“Thank you, Miss Druette.” Jasper gulped.

“Thank you.” His parents echoed before leaving.

I turned to find my Dad beaming as he lurked in the corner. “What are you doing here?” I gushed hugging him fiercely.

“Are you kidding?” Dad smirked. “You’re first solo case, I had to be here. I’ve been waiting for years to hear those words. Miss Druette for the defense. It was like an aria.”

“Oh Dad, you hate opera,” I blushed.

“And sticking it to Warner,” Dad chuckled. “I still remember that pompous ass telling Ginny two and half to five or Danvers your choice.”

“I didn’t stick it to him Dad,” I laughed lightly. “I just found a way to get around his animosity towards me.”

“What else do you have on your plate today?”

“I have to draft some motions, file some papers the usual,” I shrugged.

“Good what time are you clocking out?” Dad beamed like a peacock.

“Four.” I shrugged.

“Good cause I’m taking my hot shot lawyer daughter out for a steak dinner,” he insisted. “You’re not still a vegetarian are you?”

“No.” I laughed again.

That night my dad took me out for the best meal I had ever eaten. Maybe it was the enormous steak or perhaps it was the way he bragged about me to everyone who passed by. I think it was the conversation we shared. I know I’d always be his little girl but that night we shared adult conversation. He had begun treating me more like an adult over the years. After Ginny’s arrest I was no longer Princess or Kitten. But that night it was just me and my dad talking like real people. I doubt I’ll ever forget that night.

Two weeks later I appeared before Judge Warner for the second time shocking everyone including my client when the old fart agreed to the terms of the plea bargain. He did caution me on my way out not to get used to it. The fledgling Charles Street Law Clinic was slowly building a reputation. I have to confess I was fairing well on my own or by Gary’s side. It still seemed odd calling Professor Larson by his first name. Ron and I both seemed to excel in criminal matters. I did my best to beg off juvenile cases simply because I was fearful of Judge Warner’s wrath. Still I was building a rep of being good with them and handling Warner. At times my success back fired doing more harm than good for my clients. Those cases I tried to hand off to Gary or Ron so the client wouldn’t pay for what Judge Warner viewed as my sins.

By the end of the summer Wally popped the question. Ron surprised everyone including Spencer by doing the same. My nearest and dearest friends were limited to two straight couples planning their weddings. A bit of a drag even if I was ecstatic for them. I never doubted that each was with the right person. It was one of the few things in life I would be right about. That didn’t mean that the endless chatter about floral arrangements and seating charts was any great thrill for me. Tough being single when all your friends are settling down. Harder still when you come home alone every night half expecting to find the television on and Ginny informing you that Samantha has it all over Jeannie.

It was weird, Ginny’s correspondence was sporadic. She’d drop a line to me or the folks now and then vaguely explaining what she was up to. Rarely leaving a forward address or really letting us know what was happening in her life. I didn’t even know if she was aware of her name being cleared. She dropped off the radar not even coming home for the holidays. It was the first time in a decade that she wasn’t a part of my life.

PART TWELVE

1967

The year was filled with firsts. The first heart transplant, the first Super Bowl, Thurgood Marshall became the first black man to sit on the U.S. Supreme Court, and for the first time, I accepted that Ginny and I were destined for nothing more than drifting in and out of one anothers lives. It was a turbulent time. There were race riots in Detroit, Florida, New Jersey and D.C., and despite our protests for the end of the war in Vietnam, the President seemed certain the solution was to throw more young mens lives into the battle.

The Doors, Linda Rondstat and the Beatles filled our ears as we faced the times with defiance. Earlier in the year with Ginnys permission I signed the Chevy over to my parents. It made sense since they drove the car more than I did. I never kept the car in the city. It didnt make sense but since my legal address was Boston I was paying an enormous amount of money to insure the car. So the Cherry Mobile was passed to my parents who like me promised to keep it up and running until the day Ginny took it back. I dont know what it was with me and the family. Hope certainly did spring eternal.

In the spring of that year I got a short letter from Ginny requesting that I forward her mail to an address in Santa Barbara. It wasnt unusual for me to do that from time to time. It was the first time that the change in our little correspondence system lasted more than a month. It hit me hard. I guess I always expected her to come home. Now it seemed that she was putting down roots. I had to accept that where she chose to settle down was far away from me. More than anything I wanted Ginny to be happy. It just sucked that I wasnt the person who could make that happen.

One afternoon Spencer, Evelyn and I were having lunch in my tiny office. Spencer and I had been discussing a case when Evelyn popped in to join us. Once the two of them got talking the conversation quickly turned to wedding plans. Listening to them was the first time I realized that planning a wedding was a huge deal. Spencer and Ron wanted a small simple ceremony. His parents and Gary wanted it to be a huge event. Evelyn and Wallys parents were meddling constantly over where the upcoming nuptials should take place. Both families were competing for their religion to be the one that the young couple should adopt.

“And that is why were having a justice of the peace, Spencer triumphantly concluded. “He was raised Catholic and I was raised Lutheran and neither of us are religious. A JP is the perfect solution.

“We tried to get them to go that route, Evelyn whimpered burying her face in her hands. “You would think theyd get a clue when my Rabbi and his Minster refused to perform the service because were marrying outside of our faith. I think it is a stalling tactic. Theyre hoping that well change our minds. It is so twisted. We love each other. His parents like me, mine like him still they cant get past the different faith thing. They thought we were insane when we told them wed raise our children in both faiths. It didnt help matters when the Rabbi and Minster informed us that we couldnt do that.

“Wont be easy, I added my two cents to the pot. “I think Spencer is right. Neither of your houses of worship is going to bless your union. A civil ceremony is the only option left. I think thats what my parents ended up doing.

“What faith were you raised in? Evelyn seemed to be pleading with me for some guidance.

“Neither really, I drummed my pencil on the desk. “I know we were baptized but Im not sure by which church. Mom did take us to services when we were really little. Somewhere along the line all of us just stopped going except for holidays. The split in their religions isnt nearly as vast as what you and Wally are facing. Sorry that wasnt helpful at all was it?

“Better than what weve come up with, Evelyn tried to smile. “Lately weve been considering hopping on the first plane to Vegas.

“Now theres an idea, I almost jumped for joy. I loved the both of them dearly and would take great joy in celebrating the day with them. Alas they wanted me to be a member of the wedding party. Honestly being a bridesmaid sucked. Always has, always will. Look at the facts; you have to buy an overly expensive, hideous dress and matching shoes. Then you have to help plan the shower which is nothing more than coming up with a gift and playing ludicrous games. Then there was the obligatory dance with some usher who always assumed he is going to get lucky just because they paired you off with him.

“Were not, she swatted me. “Youre still a bridesmaid; get over it.

“Crap, I sneered recalling the horrid colors Evelyn had proposed for her wedding party. “I dont care what anyone says you cant cut down those dresses and wear them again.

“Its a fact, Spencer agreed. “At least his parents like you. Rons parents hate me. More so after they found out that Ellen was the one who had introduced us.

“Oh, I grumbled. “Thats because his mother thinks Im evil.

“I kind of figured that out when I saw his prom picture, Spencer smiled. “She cut you out of the picture. Why doesnt she like you?

“Im a fallen woman and her son had the bad manners to stay friends with me, I blew out feeling the sting of old wounds. Try as I may a part of me would never be able to bury the pain I endured during my final days in Cedar Hills. “Its kind of funky. Growing up everybodys parents loved me. Sorry. I cleared my throat and shook off the painful memories.

“I have to make tracks, Evelyn folded up the remnants of her sandwich.

“Keep me posted and please rethink your color scheme, I pleaded as she gathered up her belongings. “I dont look good in pink. Spencer was still laughing when Evelyn left. “Okay, Chuckles time to get to work. Do we have anything? Loretta said shed be willing to drop the charges if we can bring her something to prove that Jorge is innocent. Did our favorite Detective screw up by any chance?

“We got diddly, Spencer growled. “I was hoping Jarworski stepped in it. Sadly no. Why didnt we ever go after him?

“The SJC was very clear that the facts of Ginnys case never come out, I snarled tapping my pencil. “I hate that this guy is still carrying a badge.

“My old man had some colorful expressions for cops like Jarworski, Spencer grunted a scowl plastered firmly on her face. “If half the stuff DeMarco told me is the truth Jarworski should be in prison.

“You never told me what he said.

“Most of it is just his word, Spencer slowly began clenching her jaw. “He wasnt really in his right mind. He told me a lot of things that had nothing to do with Virginias case. The really sickening thing about it was he didnt regret a thing. Not until he found himself withering away in that hospital bed trying to make a plea bargain with God for more time. All of a sudden he gives a shit. The biggest thing I learned was that everything that happened to Virginia was his doing.

“What? I demanded.

“His boss told him to solve the problem, Spencer reluctantly continued. “He decided that the best way to end the problem with the troublesome twins was to get the problem twin out of the picture. The harsh prison sentence, keeping her away, keeping you away, the pay offs and everything else was his way of resolving the matter. He got her parents to agree by playing the queer card. Virginia was lost to them and Laura had a perfect record. They didnt want to go along he finally wore them down. He used her relationship with you, claiming that your parents were going to file charges. He even went so far as to offer your parents a pay off. They told him what to do with it by using some very colorful expressions. He claimed that by the time he realized the wrong twin was the troublemaker he didnt care. Someone was going to the lions and it wasnt going to be him. Sutherland was so ecstatic that he managed to end the legal troubles for the Swenson family he promoted DeMarco.

“Ginny was a career move? I felt like throwing up.

“Yes, Spencer confirmed with a dark sneer. “A big one. Screwing her over really paid off for him. He always thought because of her orientation she got what she deserved. Personally Id like to think that by dying a slow and painful death DeMarco got what he deserved. He did pass on a wealth of dirty little secrets before he died. Im the only one who knows. Pity I cant use half of it to clean up the messes he made.

“Quite a burden, I noted thoughtfully. “Its weird knowing the name of the one person who was responsible for altering so many lives. And now hes dead.

“Im sure he is paying his penance in the after life, Spencer surmised. “Now about Jorge. We need to prove he was nowhere near that street corner that night. Any ideas? Cause Im running on empty. I know that you dont want to go after the victim.

“No, I dont and neither does Jorge, I stressed biting my lip. “Find out what you can. Im not going to beat up on her in court, but I need to know why shes so certain it was Jorge.

“Im on it.

“Ellen, Jennifer our ever diligent receptionist called out popping into my office just as Spencer was making her departure. “You have a visitor. She doesnt have an appointment. My heart began to race as I began to hope it was a certain tall blonde who had slipped out of my life last year. “A Miss Sandra Hewitt.

“Sandy? I sputtered as I stood. “Send her in. I stood there waiting wondering why Sandy had shown up. I hadnt seen or heard from her since she overdosed. Her last words still ringing in my ears. My jaw dropped when she entered my office. She had gained some much needed weight and for the first time in years her pupils werent dilated. “Sandy? You look great. I squealed bolting from behind my desk to capture her in a fierce hug.

“Wow, I wasnt expecting this, she laughed releasing me from the hug. “After what I said and did I was half expecting you to throw me out in the streets. Ellen, Ive come here to apologize for everything Ive done.

“You dont have to, I cut her off guiding her towards the office.

“Oh but I do, she corrected me. “All part of my recovery. Had a dickens of a time finding you. Those bozos you use to work for neglected to tell mom you dont work for them any longer. I finally had to show up at the barber shop and pump your dad for info. Ellen you saved my life. I can never thank you enough. And over the years I used you, put you and everyone else in harms way. I never faced the damage I was causing. Not until the doctors at the clinic knocked some sense into me. I was a bitch and a half when I hit the clinic, she wearily explained. “You picked a good place. They didnt take any crap from me. Finally got my attention. For the first time since I was thirteen, Im clean; Im sober and happy to be alive. My mother and I are getting along. Were selling the house in Cedar Hills and your mother is looking for something smaller for us. None of this wouldnt have been possible if you hadnt forced me to get my act together.

“Wow, I leaned back in my chair after listening to her. “You have a whole new life.

“I have a life, she corrected me. “Mom and I are finally close. I never thought that would be possible. Its still one day at a time. Always will be for me. Oh that reminds me. Those yahoos over at Rockwell, Manning & Diamond led mom to believe that you were involved with our business. Hell, you were the reason she trusted the firm in the first place. Then they gave us the run around after you left last year. We had no idea that you werent with them any longer.

“I wouldnt have handled your legal matters, I scowled not really surprised that they had misled the Hewitt family just to keep their retainer. “Im a criminal litigator. Unless you or your mother gets busted you dont need me.

“Mom wants you, Sandy stressed. “We are still dealing with Dads estate. Were selling that white elephant in Cedar Hills and Debbie is retiring. Mom needs to take care of her. Does your firm handle things like that?

“Tyler, I happily supplied. It would have been unethical to ask them to leave my old firm. But since she asked it was okay. “Ill introduce you before you leave. Hes young but damn good with handling money.

“If hes around why dont we do it now? She eagerly inquired. “I have to get going. Just one more thing, besides another Im sorry for being such a major drag in the past, I need to make amends with everyone. Do you know how to get in touch with Ginny?

“Not really, I cleared my throat a familiar pain tugging at my heart. “She has a post office box here in town, I explained quickly scribbling down the address. “She has been getting her mail forwarded from there.

“Great. She hugged me again before I led her off to meet with Tyler.

Later that day Spencer returned with good news. The victim wasnt a victim but a scared teenager who had gotten into trouble. I placed a hasty call to Loretta and crossed my fingers praying that this time the system would work. It took another week before Loretta could get the truth out of the teenager. In the end Jorge got his life back and I felt really good. For only the second time in my career not only was my client innocent I proved it. The lack of money did nothing to quell the exhilarating feeling.

When I arrived at my parents for Thanksgiving that year I saw the duffle bag sitting in the living room. Knowing that Ginny had opted to stay with my parents before contacting me cemented things. She visited them every time she blew into town, but she only crashed with them first when there was someone special in her life. It was her way of informing me that when she stayed at my place there would be no bathing together, no kissing and no hanky panky of any kind. Talk about a buzz kill.

“Eleanore I didnt know you were here? Mom greeted me with a big hug.

“I see you have a houseguest. I grimly noted.

“Im fine thank you, Mom groaned.

“Im sorry Mom, I smiled. “Happy Thanksgiving. How are you?

“Now that all my kids are home Im great, she beamed guiding me into the kitchen. “Sit Ill put on some coffee. You look like you havent slept in a week.

“My case load has grown, I confessed with a yawn looking at my watch disgusted that I was up so early on the first day off Ive had in months. “So how long has she been here?

“A couple of weeks, Mom confided while scurrying about the kitchen.

“A couple of weeks? I echoed miffed that she hadnt picked up the phone to call me.

“She wanted to surprise you. Mom quickly chastised me checking on her pots and pans.

“Let me help you. I started to stand.

“Sit, she sternly instructed me. “A wonder all in the kitchen youre not. She really did want to surprise you.

“Mom, I slowly began after she set a cup of coffee down in front of me. “I understand. If she swung by here first it means she has a new friend. Hey wheres Sammy? I threw out in an effort to change the subject.

“He and your father decided to give the Chevy a tune up and take it out for a spin, Mom shook her head. “Men and cars I will never understand it.

“Mom, you know that youre the one who wont let anyone drive the Chevy, I snickered. “The Cherry Mobile is your baby. Dont even try to lie about it.

“It is very reliable, Mom shrugged. “Its a convertible for pitys sake. And very sassy. You should see my clients drooling over it.

I couldnt argue with her logic. Every time the weather turned warm I just loved taking the Cherry Mobile out for a spin. For me it was never just the thrill of cruising around with the top down, I had so many memories tied to that car. “They are living in San Luis Obispo in one of those hippy vans, Mom offered in a hushed tone disrupting my thoughts.

“And she says my apartment is too small, I grunted sipping my coffee trying to picture Ginny living in a psychedelic VW Bus.

“Maybe if you got a bigger place? Mom suggested her tone quickly alerting me to the fact that she was about to meddle.

“I like my place. I grunted.

“Eleanore, Mom began; I detected that she was full of steam and ready to lay into me. Thankfully Ginny chose that moment to make an appearance.

“Youre late. She taunted me. I couldnt help smiling at the comment. I stood and wrapped her up in a big hug. I could have simply melted into that hug. When she pulled away suddenly I remembered that she was spoken for.

“So how long are you staying? I asked as she helped herself to a cup of coffee. I was surprised when Mom spun around and glared at me.

“Not long, Ginny shrugged as we sat down at the kitchen table. “I need to start heading home soon.

Home? Now that hurt. “Oh? I nodded trying my level best to sound blasé. I shrank back noticing my mothers eyes boring into me while she lurked behind Ginny. I blew out a sigh of relief when the telephone rang and Mom was forced to answer it. “So how are things going? I asked trying to make conversation.

“Good, Ginny nodded sipping her coffee. “Still not use to the time change. Oh and Im starting college in the fall.

“Cool. I smiled brightly. It was hard not to be happy for her. For the first time in ten years she had a place to call home, a future to look forward to, and someone special in her life.

“Yeah it was much easier to get in after I discovered that I am no longer considered a felon, she laughed. “I knew you had been working on things. But just how did you pull it off?

“Oh that was nothing, I lied. “Id go into to detail but what it boils down to is a lot of legal jargon which basically means that you had grounds for an appeal.

“Ginny telephone, Mom called out as she rejoined us. Ginny made a quick departure. Suddenly I was left squirming in my seat while my mother glared at me.

“What? I finally barked out.

“Is that how you greet her? Mom was flabbergasted.

“With a hug? I questioned not getting the gist of what she was going for. “You hug her too.

“Yes and I say hello, nice to see you, Mom snapped. “How long are you staying? Please tell me that isnt the way you greet her every time you see her?

“Uhm, I cleared my throat my eyes darting around suddenly feeling like I was about to be grounded.

“Eleanore no wonder she never stays, Mom huffed. “How long are you staying is the way you greet a red headed stepchild at a family picnic not someone that you care about.

“Mom! I coughed my jaw hanging open.

“I swear you are going to end up an old woman living in that closet you call an apartment with four hundred cats, Mom continued her tirade. “Dont you want to be in a relationship? I understand that you kids are all into this peace and free love crap, but enough is enough. If you dont get off the stick young lady,

“Sammy! I cried out when Dad and my brother entered the kitchen. I was never so happy to see the little booger in my whole life. Then again he wasnt so little anymore. My little brother was a college man. “How is school?

“Great, Sammy smiled giving me a quick hug. “Im already checking out Grad schools.

“My son the zoologist, Dad beamed.

“Thats a long way off. Sammy quickly interjected.

“Who is Ginny on the phone with? Dad grunted. “Not that Songbird again?

“Who else? Mom sighed wearily.

“Songbird? I sputtered.

“Hey Sis how about I show you the work Dad and I did on the Cherry … I mean the Chevy? Sammy made a quick save grabbing my hand. When we passed through the living room I didnt miss the way Ginny was keeping her voice down or the tension that loomed over her. All I heard was whoever she was talking to was asking about the bread, that it would still be a couple of years and yes Im staying with her. I wish I could have heard more but that just would have been rude.

“Thanks for saving me, I blew out once we were safely hidden in the garage.

“What was Moms trip this time? He asked lighting a cigarette and offering one to me. I accepted the offer needing a little something to help chill me out.

“She was giving me relationship advice, I blew out still not believing it. “According to Mom Im going to end up an old maid with a lot of cats.

“What a drag. He laughed before turning serious. “It brings her down. The two of you not hooking up again. You know?

“No I dont know, I fussed. “Shes with someone else. We live in different worlds. Why does Mom think well end up together?

“I always thought you guys would. He offered with a sad smile.

“Life handed us the short end of the stick, I tried to explain. “Even if Ginny hadnt gone to jail we were already on different paths. She would have gone off to Stanford and I still would have gone to Smith.

“I dont think this girl makes her happy, he dryly stated. “I mean Ive only been home for a couple of days but every time they talk on the phone they end up arguing.

“Really? I questioned truly curious.

“Yeah mostly about money and Ginny staying with you, he grunted. “I have a feeling that Ginny would have bolted to Boston sooner, but her old lady is dead set against her crashing at your pad.

“Cant blame her, I surmised snubbing out my smoke. “Im the old girlfriend, and even if Ginny and I havent managed to hook up in a happily ever after way we still hook up if you get my drift.

“Man you are so lucky. He sighed appreciatively. “She was my first crush.

“Mine too. I gloated then the smile slipped away and now she had finally done what she had always told me to do. Ginny had moved on.

“Is this a private party? Ginny chimed sneaking into the garage.

“I was just heading back, Sammy quickly excused himself.

“So? I lamely offered rocking back and forth on my heels.

“So. She echoed.

“Whats her name? I asked not really caring.

“Sparrow, she smiled slightly. “Weve been together since last summer.

“Sparrow? I sputtered.

“That is her chosen name, Ginny asserted. “Uhm, would you mind if I crashed with you for a couple of days? I love staying with your folks but I need a little time in the city.

“How is Sparrow going to feel about that? I asked already knowing the answer.

“She hates it, Ginny dryly answered. “Look I know … Ellen I want to spend time with you. Just because were not going to hit the sheets together I always thought that what we shared was more than that.

“We do, I tenderly reassured her. “Im taking the train home tonight why dont you join me? I can handle the cold showers.

“Yeah sorry about that, she smirked. “As tempting as it is and as fun as it is Im in a relationship. Like you said a long time ago I want more out of life than a little fun.

“Ouch. I shrank back feeling the sting of her words.

“Im sorry Im not trying to hurt you. That is the last thing I would do, she apologized. “I just have been wondering for a long time now when you stopped wanting that?

“I havent, I snapped wondering if this was gang up on Ellen day. “I havent, I furiously repeated. “I want a relationship it just hasnt been in the cards.

“I just want you to be happy, she tried to explain.

“And I just want you, I paused feeling my chest constrict. That was it. After all these years I still wanted her and I was still too chicken shit to tell her. Not that it would have mattered at that point in time. She was after all in a relationship “I just want you to be happy.

She seemed to believe me and after a quick and awkward hug we rejoined the family. We shared a great meal. Loaded down with the leftovers Mom insisted we take we took the train back to Boston. Ginny did ask me an odd question; she wanted to know if my legal expertise extended to financial matters. I informed her that it didnt but Tyler, who worked at my firm, could handle whatever problem she had. I never asked what she needed help with, but it must have been a bugger since it took longer than expected for Tyler to clear up the situation.

Secretly I was thrilled that it took some time to resolve the matter. I got to spend time with Ginny; something that I knew wasnt going to exist in our future. Still we had a ball. In or out of the bedroom Ginny and I really meshed. The only rough patches were sleeping next to her night after night and not being allowed to touch her, and then there was overhearing snippets of her chats on the telephone with Sparrow. I had the sinking feeling that Sammy was right. Ginny wasnt really happy with Sparrow and they fought a lot about money. Then again I was biased not just because Ginny had been my first love, but anytime I had the misfortune of being the one who answered the telephone when Sparrow called she was out and out snotty to me. I had to constantly remind myself that if I was in Sparrows Birkenstocks I might forget my manners too.

When it was time for Ginny to leave she was furious that I had bought her a plane ticket. “Im not letting you hitch, I stressed. “Ginny you wanted to leave weeks ago. If I was waiting for, I paused stopping myself from saying you. “If I was waiting for my girlfriend to come home Id want her to make the trip as short as possible. Take the ticket in thirteen hours youll be home.

“I hate it when youre logical. She grumbled.

And I hate it when you leave. I silently cried.

“Ill pay you back, she promised.

“I dont care about the money, I chided her. “If money meant anything to me I wouldnt be slaving away at a law firm where most of the clients pay us in trade. Granted Mrs. Steiners muffins are to die for.

“I had some, she smiled. “And youre right that woman should open a bakery. Then she grew strangely quiet and just looked at me. “Why is it every time I leave I feel like none of the women in Boston are safe? She finally broke the silence teasing me. Despite the jovial tone there was sadness in her eyes. “I just wonder what happened to that sweet innocent pom-pom girl who … Who won me over?

“Her girlfriend got sent up the river. I answered not even bothering to hide the sadness I felt. We just stood there looking into one anothers eyes the silence was stifling. I felt like we both had something to say yet the words never came. “So do you really live in VW Bus? Cause I cant picture it.

“We do, she answered with a halfhearted smile.

“You in a small space?

“It gets to me sometimes, she confessed. “But we have this friend who lives up in Santa Barbara. Whenever we need to get our mail or make a phone call we head up there. I stood mentally tallying how many times she added the word we to her sentence. “You never asked about what I needed help with. Why not? She threw in out of the blue.

“It was a financial matter, I slowly responded. “I couldnt help with it ergo none of my business. I figure if you wanted me to know youd tell me. Once again we just stood there. She was holding her duffle bag and I was dying inside. “I should call a taxi for us. I blurted out needing to stop the pain that was growing inside of me. It was like pulling off a band aid; the quicker the better.

“Ill go it alone, she said slinging the bag over her shoulder. “I hate goodbyes.

“Really? I sighed thinking that for someone who hated saying goodbye she always seemed to be doing it. For the first time in years we didnt even hug she just waved and walked out the door.

PART THIRTEEN

1968

1968 was a turbulent year in our lives. So many events happened. Elvis became a dad, both Martin Luther King and Robert F. Kennedy were assassinated, LBJ opted not to run for reelection, and in the beginning of that year what is now known as the Tet offensive began. It was also the year that Walter Cronkite went on national television and denounced the war. LBJ said if weve lost Cronkite, weve lost the nation.

We also ended up having a war of our own brewing at home. It all began in the fall of that year when Ginnys little winged friend flew into our lives. Yeah that was a truly special event. During it my mantra became, Calling her a bitch or hitting her would be wrong. Having her burst into our lives might have been easier if not for the tragedy that proceeded her arrival.

The year started out on a high note. Evelyn and Wally finally got married. Ron and Spencer followed suit a few months later. Our fledgling law practice was growing. We were still floundering but things were heading in the right direction. Everyone at the firm, poured their heart and soul into the practice. The monetary rewards may have been meager but the work we did helped so many people it was well worth the sacrifices. We were making quite the name for ourselves in the legal community. It was hard to miss our tenacious attitude. We never gave up even though most people accused us of tilting at windmills.

I reached a point in my life where the occasional innocent client and being on my own meant everything to me. I stopped pining over the girl I had lost. I stopped looking for the one. If it was going to happen, it would. I just hoped that if Miss Right did cross my threshold she wouldnt be in legal trouble at the time. Being alone was no longer something I dreaded. At times it bugged me. How could it not? My closest friends were a pack of newlyweds. I thought they were annoying when they were just engaged. Their happiness gave me hope while also annoying the crap out of me.

The year passed quickly. The weather turned cold and my fears rested in the snowfall and my clients cases. I thought I was on top of the world. Things could only get better. I was wrong again.

I was working late at the office trying to figure someway I was going to save my overly guilty clients butt. Then I got the phone call; the one I had never prepared for. Mom and Dad had gone to some rotary club dinner that night. Dad had grown quiet and turned suddenly pale then he slumped over. The doctor tried to console us by informing Mom and me that since the heart attack had come on so suddenly Dad didnt suffer.

I spoke with the ambulance driver as well. It was the truth. My father was gone before he hit the floor. I just never thought it could happen. I took Mom home and put her to bed then I began making the arrangements. It killed me to have to call Sammy and Ginny and be the one to break the news to them. The both of them flew home immediately. Mom needed all of her kids to be with her and according to her that included Ginny. I didnt argue the point. Ginny and I may have screwed up big time in the romance department. Still she would forever be a part of the family.

All of us accepted that what we didnt accept was that she didnt arrive alone. It made sense that her partner would accompany her to support during her time of need. It just worked everyones nerves. Actually Ginny arriving with her lover wasnt the problem. It wasnt even her role as Ginnys partner that worked our nerves. It was Sparrow. The girl was freakishly obnoxious.

It had taken me several hours to track Ginny down since they were still living in a bus. I ended up calling her friend Harmony the one who lived in Santa Barbara. When I introduced myself Harmony knew who I was and treated me like an old friend. I hate to bother you, I sniffed weary of making phone calls while trying to accept the fact that Dad was gone. I need to get a message to Ginny.

Its cool, Harmony said. If it is an emergency I can call some people who live near them and have them rap on the bus. Just tell me what you need?

My father back! My mind screamed. Could you get word to her that my father passed away? I was surprised when I heard her gasp.

Ellen Im sorry for your loss, she offered her sympathy. I know weve never met but Ginny has talked about you and your family many times. From what she has said your father was a beautiful soul. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Thank you. I sniffed.

Look Im gonna just hop in my car and drive down there and tell her myself, she tenderly explained. I know shell want to speak to you. Are you at your pad or your parents?

My parents. I answered stunned by her generosity.

Is there anything else I can do?

No thank you, I almost started to cry.

Take care of yourself and if there is anything just call.

An hour later the phone rang. Are you alright? Ginnys voice woefully greeted me.

No. I answered honestly wondering how she got up to Santa Barbara so fast. When I heard the coins dropping I realized that she had raced to the first payphone she could find.

What happened? She sobbed.

It was a heart attack. I tried to explain.

We talked for over an hour all the while I could hear someone in the background complaining. I couldnt take it any longer so I decided to end the conversation. Ill call you with my flight info. She promised.

Ill be here. I wearily responded.

Ellen …, she hesitated lowering her voice. Hey Honey we are going to get through this. Now try and get some rest. I love you.

I love you too, I absently responded not even aware of her words or my own. The endearment we had just exchanged would be forgotten until later. I hung up and just sat on the sofa far too numb to move. I was envious of Mom sleeping away. Then again I had slipped her a couple of valium which was the only reason she was asleep. I jumped when the phone rang. I have no idea how much time had passed. It was Ginny again with her flight information. She was taking the first plane out in the morning and would be arriving late in the afternoon. Her arrival worked out perfectly since Sammys flight would arrive a short while after hers. I was relieved that I would only have to endure one trip to Logan.

Theres a hitch, she grimly began. Sparrow insists on joining me.

Oh? I frowned before gathering my wits. It makes sense. This isnt just my loss youre a part of the family and she is your lover. I begrudgingly added. We just have to work out the sleeping arrangements.

Already taken care of, Ginny sighed. I booked us a room at HoJos. I think it would be best if this time I stayed at a hotel.

I hated that she would be so far away but it made sense. No way no how anyone would be comfortable with Sparrow fluttering about. I already had a full plate and wasnt prepared to deal with Mom regarding who was sleeping where. Okay Ill be waiting at the gate then well grab Sammy and work out the rest later. I concluded.

Ill see you tomorrow, she sounded miserable. Now please go to bed.

I promised that I would but of course I didnt. Sleep eluded me and in the morning I went to battle just trying to get my mother to eat breakfast. I finally threw in the towel allowing my Aunt Grace to take over so I could get to the airport and pick up everyone. With so many people plus luggage I decided to take the Chevy. I was early and ended up spending my time pacing at the gate and drinking way too much coffee. I almost broke down when I saw her stepping through the gate.

Before I knew what was happening I was in her arms. Im here, she whispered in my ear while we clung to one another. Im so sorry Ellen. The sound of someone clearing their throat broke up our embrace. Uhm Sparrow this is my friend Ellen.

Nice to meet you. I managed to choke out offering the scrawny brunette my hand. She just flashed me the peace sign. I didnt take offense it was a common greeting. Sammys flight will be landing in about forty-five minutes. Why dont we head down to baggage claim?

Carry on, Ginny volunteered picking up her duffle bag. Only way to travel. What airline is Sam flying in on?

TWA which is in another terminal. I explained mildly bothered by the way Sparrow was ignoring us and playing with her hair.

When we picked up Sammy the three of us hugged one another tightly until Sparrows constant sighing broke us apart. I led everyone out to the parking area and we loaded up the Chevy. Ginny held out her hand for the keys. You havent slept. She grimly pointed out.

Its your car, I answered with a slight laugh.

It is? Sparrow finally spoke grinning like an idiot.

Long story, Ginny blew off her comment while trying to get her into the backseat.

Ill just get in the back with Sammy, I finally offered calling off the stalemate. Again I had to concede that wanting to sit next to her lover wasnt outrageous. Still it was gnawing at me that Sparrow had failed to express her condolences. Now that she had chosen to speak her conversation was limited to the car and why were she and Ginny staying at a hotel. Apparently the cost of a hotel was troubling her. Well if money is a problem, I began hoping to defuse the situation sensing Ginnys growing agitation and needing for the annoying hippy chick to just shut up.

It isnt, Ginny cut me off. Sparrow weve talked about this.

I just dont get it, Sparrow whined while playing with her love beads. If you really are like family to these people why shouldnt we stay with them?

You can, I blew out. Ill just crash on the sofa and Sparrow can have my room.

Wait, Sparrow spun around glaring at me. You expect us to sleep apart?

No, I tried to clarify. All the while I reminded myself to just keep calm. I know my mother and she wouldnt approve of the two of you sharing a bed.

Oh but you could? Sparrow snidely snapped.

Not under their roof, Ginny barked. Look Ellens parents are from a different generation as approving as they are, unmarried couples sharing a bed isnt going to happen in their house. Well stay at Howard Johnsons. No big deal.

Gin it is a big deal. Sparrow droned on.

Why dont I just drop you at the hotel? Ginny groaned.

No, Im coming with you, Sparrow persisted. You keep telling me that these people are your family. Why shouldnt I meet them?

Sparrow this isnt a party, Ginny gritted her teeth flashing me a weary look in the rearview mirror. The Druettes were married for thirty-one years. Ma must be at her wits end. Entertaining guests isnt something she needs to be doing.

You are not ditching me, Sparrow fumed wrapping her fingers tightly through her beads.

I would have jumped over the seat to throttle Sparrow for her snippy attitude if I didnt already have my hands full trying to hold Sammy back. A part of me really wanted to stop restraining my little brother and let him tear her tied-dyed, love bead wearing scrawny ass to shreds. I dont know why her hippy attitude was bothering me. I dressed the same way, we all did. I think it was her harsh nature and strange fascination with money that contradicted her peacenik ways. That and the way Ginny folded like a house of cards.

Things went downhill after Mom met Sparrow. Once again instead of offering sympathy she flashed a peace sign. Ginny sat with my mother while Sparrow made herself at home raiding the fridge and snooping around. We had all reached our tether when Sparrow brought up the Chevy again.

Well yes dear the car belongs to Ginny, Mom snapped. Perhaps the two of you can discuss it later?

Chill. She had the bad manners to groan before wandering off.

Everyone in the room took a deep breath afraid to say anything knowing that the words we might say would hurt Ginnys feelings. Mom Im going to get the suit you picked out and drop it off at Brisbys, I volunteered not really wanting to deliver or even look at the outfit my father would be buried in. It didnt surprise me to find Sparrow snooping around the upstairs. So Eve, she called out to me.

Ellen. I snapped pushing past her and storming towards my parents bedroom.

Groovy, she sighed from behind me as she followed after me. The car really belongs to Ginny?

Yes! I barked picking up my Dads best suit fighting back the tears.

Then why is it here? She pried.

It is just how it worked out, I growled clutching the suit keeping my back to annoying woman. I choked back a sob before turning and facing her. Sparrow do me a favor? That woman downstairs just lost her husband. My father, the man who loved Ginny like she was his kid, died. So try and act a little sensitive. If you cant then do all of us a favor and either keep your mouth shut or hide out at the hotel. I dont mean to be a bitch but for the love of God give me and my family a break.

Listen I dont want to be here, she sneered. No way am I letting you try and get your hooks in her again. Im here and Im going to make sure Ginny gets what she deserves. Now if the car belongs to her, she should take it. Since we are flying back youll have to make arrangements for it to be delivered. You may have been her first love but Im the last.

What? I stumbled backward thrown by her admission. I ended up sitting on the bed when I heard the word echoed in an angry voice.

What? Ginny snapped once again from the doorway pushing past her lover. We are here for a funeral. The car, incase you have any further questions, is staying here. Yes, it was mine now it belongs to the whole family. Unlike the van we live in which is mine. Ellen Im taking Sparrow to the hotel. On the way back Ill drop off the suit for you. Ill be back just as soon as I can.

Thank you. I choked out.

Well she was pleasant, Mom announced when they left. Good Lord thank goodness your father is dead cause that one would have killed him. Everyone broke into laughter even my aunts and uncles who normally were uneasy around Ginny.

Oh Mom, I snickered. No he just would have called her a Pink-O and made a pitcher of martinis.

Two pitchers. Sammy agreed.

I swear it is almost as if Ginny was dating her sister, Mom groaned. I dont mean that in an icky creepy way its just she is so much like Laurie.

Oh my God she is. I gasped. Mom was right on target. Sparrow had Ginny wrapped around her finger the same way Laurie did in high school.

It started to get late and we were beginning to worry about Ginny. Finally the Chevy pulled up and she climbed out walking into the house with her duffle bag slung over her shoulder. So is my old room still available?

Wheres your friend? Mom cautiously inquired.

Right about now somewhere over Chicago, Ginny shrugged checking her watch. We decided that she should go home ahead of me. Im sorry Mrs. Druette.

No need to apologize, Mom smiled. And its Ma. Now go put your stuff in your room. Once we get through this weekend and things arent so messed up I am going to sit you down for a long talk about that one. Eleanore show Ginny to her room.

I was just about to comment on how Ginny knew the way, but the cautioning look in my mothers eyes made me hold my tongue. I walked Ginny upstairs she threw her bag down on her bed. After all these years everyone thought of the guestroom as Ginnys room. She stayed there every holiday or odd visit and Mom kept it the way Ginny liked it.

How are you holding up? She turned to me.

Im not. I sobbed falling into her arms.

Youre great, she cooed rubbing my back. Pops would be proud of the way you are handling everything and everybody.

He wasnt supposed to die damn it. I howled.

I know, she comforted me.

We ended up sitting on the bed me sobbing like a small child while she cradled me in her arms. I wanted to stay in her arms forever, to kiss her and hold her all night long. I didnt. I couldnt. I understood her words. She had sent Sparrow home ahead of her. They were still together. I hated it. I hated knowing that Ginny was with the wrong person. I hated not being able to say so. Instead I settled for letting her hold me for as long as possible.

Later that night Sammy, Ginny and I crowded around the kitchen table. Certain that Mom was asleep we cracked open a bottle of wine and started smoking. We were flipping through old photos trying to recapture what we had lost. Look here is one of all five of us. Sammy beamed showing a picture to us.

That must of have been one of our Sunday outings, I smiled looking closely at the photo wishing that we were all still that happy.

Oh yeah, Ginny sighed. Oh man look at our clothes and hair. Sam is wearing one of those Davy Crocket coon skin hats.

I leaned closer taking a better look my smile vanishing as I reached across the table and smacked Sammy in the head. Hey! He barked rubbing his head. What was that for?

Take a look at where your little beady eyes are focused, I scowled shoving the picture at him.

Oops. He cringed.

Did you never look at my face? Ginny scolded him.

I dont think so, Sammy confessed. Oh here is one with Dad in uniform with Aunt Frieda.

Wow your father was a handsome guy, Ginny smiled.

We froze when we heard determined footsteps approaching. Suddenly we were back in high school busted for smoking and drinking. We tried to clear everything up but Mom was too quick. Oh for pitys sake I can smell the smoke, she scolded us. Now pour me a glass and Ill take one of the Camels Sammys trying to stuff down his shirt. She sat down and lit up. Ah thats better. She blew out. Look at all these photos.

I was just saying that Pops was very handsome in uniform. Ginny offered.

He was, Mom smiled with a dreamy look in her eyes. He enlisted in the navy just after Pearl Harbor. Most of the boys did.

Were the two of you dating then? Ginny innocently asked. Forgetting that I had been born before the tragic events of Pearl Harbor.

Oh goodness no, Mom laughed. We were married by then. In fact Eleanore was just a baby. Sam was a little older than I was. His mother was quite miffed when we got engaged.

Is that why the two of you always fought? I snickered flipping through the old photo album.

Hey Mom? Sammy curiously began. Ive always wondered how is Aunt Frieda related to us.

You dont know? I smirked.

You do? Mom choked on her wine.

Yes, I do, I stuttered.

Whats gives? Sammy questioned.

Aunt Frieda was Dads first wife, I announced stunning both my brother and Ginny.

They were kids, Mom quickly explained. Just barely teenagers, really. They snuck off to Maryland and got married. It didnt last but they stayed friends.

And you were cool with that? Sammy gaped at her.

Honey look at the picture. Mom laughed. I took it. If I had a problem with them being friends do you think Id let her in the house? Frieda was the one who introduced us. Of course your father being a divorcee didnt go over well with my parents. Frieda couldnt have been more than sixteen when they got divorced. I always felt bad for her. It turns out she couldnt have children thats why she doted on the two of you. What Sam?

It just finding out Dad was married before, Sammy shuddered. Its a little weird.

It was a teenaged elopement, Mom scoffed lighting another cigarette. They realized it was a mistake shortly afterward. They would have gotten an annulment but their parents insisted that they try. Still it only lasted just over a year.

I guess every family has its skeletons. Ginny surmised.

Yes and two of ours are sitting right here, I quipped as Ginny gave me a playful nudge.

Please the two of you are nothing, Mom groaned. You dont even want to know about the shenanigans your Uncle Fred got into.

Such as? I encouraged.

Every family has its secrets Eleanore, Mom scolded me.

Makes me wonder, Ginny whispered. What does Laurie tell her kids? I mean there are a ton of pictures of the two of us together. How does she explain it?

The truth might be nice, Mom grunted. Okay kids tomorrow is going to be a very long day. Off to bed the lot of you. She quickly added effectively changing the subject.

You going to be able to sleep? Ginny questioned once we reached my bedroom.

I doubt it, I sighed gazing up at her. Are you okay? After this is over do you want to take a drive visit Nats grave.

Yeah Id like that, she answered with a hard swallow. Last time I was passing through I stopped in this little store somewhere just outside of New York just to grab a coke. There was this little boy with an older woman. She looked like a nanny. She was staring me at like I had antlers or something. The boy looked like pictures I had seen of my brother when he was that age. I wondered if he was my nephew. Then he says to me; you look just like my mommy only prettier. And I knew.

Sounds like your nephew is bright kid, I tried to comfort her.

I dont even know his name, she frowned. The nanny just grabbed him and split.

You have two nephews, I dont know how old they are, I tenderly offered. Dwight and Evan. Mom always hears the best gossip. I fibbed just a little not wanting Ginny to know just how deep Spencers investigation had gone.

Dwight and Evan? Ginny groaned. Poor kids.

No kidding, I snorted. Speaking of sleep you could use a little shut eye yourself. Sorry if I upset Sparrow.

Dont, she cut me off. That whole business about the car and she was curious if Pops put me in the will. I think it is the real reason she insisted on coming. She was way out of line. I dont get her sometimes. Shes all about our generation, the peace movement and sticking it to the man. Then she acts like she did today and focuses on the material trappings were supposed to be against. Hell Im the one who wants to move into a pad and ditch the bus. She says its cool and were saving a bundle of bread. I dont think its materialistic to want to have a bathroom that is inside your home.

I was ready to agree with her then I thought it might be best to just stay out of it. As much as I wanted to see Ginny give her feathered friend the boot I refused to be the catalyst. So I said goodnight and tried to sleep. I dont think any of us slept that week.

You never realize how many lives one person has truly touched until they are gone. There was a constant flow of people not just at the funeral parlor but at the house as well. We were inundated with casseroles, baked goods and stories about how Dad gave someone their first hair cut or helped them out of some kind of jam. Everyone spoke of how Dads biggest pride and joy was his family. He bordered on boring the ever living crap out of people regaling tales of Mom, Me, Sammy and Ginny.

All of the people had good intentions still I found the crowd stifling. Hearing all the stories that were meant to be comforting only saddened me. The tales were a constant reminder that my Dad was never coming home. More than once I found myself slipping out of the room needing to catch my breath. Rough going, Spencer tenderly offered finding me hiding in the kitchen among the plates of food that kept appearing from nowhere. I was just about to say she had no idea when I realized that she did. Spencer didnt wait for me to say anything. She just captured me in a hug.

Tell me it gets better. I whimpered.

Id be lying, she confessed tightening her hold before releasing me. I was just a baby when Mom died. Then when I lost Dad I was barely a teenager. The hoards of people wanting to talk to me pissed me off. I just wanted to be alone and grieve. That and they kept calling me Henrietta.

I keep forgetting that is your first name, I cracked a smile for the first time in ages. I thought Spencer was going to pitch a fit at her wedding when the justice of the peace had the bad manners to call her by her given name. You okay? I stood back noticing her pale skin.

Still fighting that bug, she shrugged just as Mom slipped into the kitchen. I cant seem to shake it. I feel fine for most of the day and wake up feeling nauseous. Weirdest thing.

Spencer? Mom hugged her. Youre not feeling well? Ill get you some bicarbonate. Or maybe a couple of soda crackers?

Please dont, Spencer softly refused. Im here to help you. And its just a bug. Im happy Ron hasnt caught it. Although since were staying with his parents Im hugging his mom as much as possible. I really hope she catches it.

In laws, Mom groaned in agreement. Honey you have no idea.

Uhm, Spencer suddenly choked out. I think its back. Excuse me.

I was a little stunned when Spencer bolted out of the room. I hope she is going to be okay, I shook my head.

Oh, she will be, Mom snickered. Thats no bug. That girl has a bun in the oven.

Are you sure? I started to laugh.

Pretty sure, Mom knowingly supplied. I mean I cant be positive. But Id put money on it.

Later I was pulling my disappearing act again when I bumped into Sandy who was stealing a smoke behind the garage. Im having a flashback, I laughed when she jumped after I snuck up on her.

The one thing I cant give up, she guilty confessed instantly lighting another smoke. How are you holding up?

Eh, I shrugged feeling numb at the moment.

Rons wife seems nice, she threw out in an attempt to distract me.

Spencer? Shes a doll, I confirmed stealing a drag from Sandys cigarette. Mom thinks she is expecting.

Really? Sandy responded with a ghost of a smile. Keep it. She informed me when I tried to hand the cigarette back to her.

Sorry. I frowned understanding why she suddenly looked troubled. It had happened only a few years ago still each of us pretended it had never happened.

It was the right choice, Sandy shook her head in an effort to erase the memory. I was a kid who drank nonstop and poisoned my body with drugs. What kind of mother would I have been?

I had hoped at the time it was going to inspire you to clean up your act, I grimly admitted.

You would think, she cringed. Thanks again. For going with me and not telling anyone why you suddenly decided to take a trip to Europe. Or that I was with you.

It wasnt anyones business, I took a long drag of my smoke. You went through hell trying to decide what the right thing to do was. Ive never been in your shoes. I dont know what I would have done.

If I had known he was going to die, she choked out. I still wonder if I had known would I have kept the baby. God, I was so selfish. Maybe if he had known he would have quit the army like he promised.

Dont, I hugged her. Hey how about we change the subject? Did you see Margies hair? What is wrong with her?

Honestly, it looks like a football helmet, Sandy snidely snickered. I dont get it. She used to have fashion sense. Now she looks like an old lady. My mom dresses hipper than she does. I noticed Mark didnt dare show his ugly mug.

He turned into a first class creep, I snarled snubbing out my cigarette. I cant believe we thought he was cool back in the day.

Speaking of creeps, Sandy snorted. I heard Ginnys friend caused a bit of a ruckus.

Sparrow? Ugh, dont get me started, I hissed feeling a foul taste in my mouth just by uttering her name.

Sparrow? Sandy gaped. What were her parents thinking?

Not her real name, I clarified. She chose it. I hate her. She treats Ginny like crap. She only came here because she didnt trust me around Ginny and she was hoping that Ginny was in the will.

Charming, Sandy spat out.

I have to stop, I quickly reprimanded myself. Im biased and probably not being fair to her.

Oh, I dont know, Sandy snickered. From the little snippets I heard from your mother, Id say you were being generous.

No, Im not, I felt terrible about gossiping behind Ginnys back. Just because I blew it with Ginny is no reason to be mean.

Still a class act, she shook her head wrapping her arm around my shoulders. Ready to go back and face the crowd?

Yeah, I expelled a heavy sigh. Lead on.

The night of the funeral all of us were numb. After the last person had paid their respects the three of us collapsed. We were on autopilot as we set about cleaning up after the flurry of people who had come to pay their respects. We had just finished, Mom and Sammy had retreated upstairs leaving Ginny and I alone in the den. I turned to her needing to feel comfort. I reached out my body aching to feel her arms around me. Movement faltered when the ringing of the telephone blared out. I made my excuses as I went to answer it. I barely got out my hello when she demanded to speak to her girlfriend.

Its for you, I bitterly snapped after storming into the den. Just tell her Mom gets everything. I added with disgust before storming upstairs. I slammed my bedroom door behind me. My hands were shaking as I began to unzip the simple black dress I had been wearing for the past three days. All the anger that had been brewing over the years boiling over. At one time my rage had been reserved for Laurie, now Sparrow seemed to be a better candidate. You cant tell me that freak makes her happy. I snarled almost ripping my dress from my body. My suspicions were confirmed when I heard Ginnys voice echoing vile words from downstairs. I put on my nightgown and donned a robe just as Ginnys voice began to drift off. I looked at my bed. I knew I would be unable to sleep. Failing to hear any voices downstairs I decided to take a chance and venture down there.

When I stepped in the kitchen I found Ginny standing in the darkness staring at the telephone she had recently slammed back onto the cradle. Im sorry, I quietly offered stepping past her heading towards the fridge.

Dont apologize, she wearily supplied slumping down into a chair. Shes being an asshole.

I was just going to have some wine, I brushed it off not wanting to talk about it. I couldnt get into it. If I did all hell would break loose and I wasnt up for fighting. Want some?

Yes, she grumbled.

She thanked me when I handed her a glass and took the seat beside her. Ellen, she slowly began. Im sorry. You buried your father this morning. You shouldnt have to deal with Sparrows hissy fits.

I cant discuss this with you, I coolly cut her off. Im your ex. My opinion is tainted to say the least. Right now I cant handle this conversation. Ill end up telling you to blow it out your barracks bag.

Fair enough, she nodded wrapping her arm around my shoulders. Come here? She took the glass of wine from my grasp. I slipped into her embrace. Resting my head against her chest it felt so good just to nestle against her body listening to the steady rhythm of her heart beat.

I have no idea how long I allowed her to cocoon my body. All I knew was for the first time in days I felt whole again. I slowly slipped from her embrace when we heard someone moving about upstairs. I looked up at her wanting to thank her. My eyes drifted to her soft supple lips. I leaned closer. I felt her hand cupping my cheek her body moving closer. I wanted to kiss her. To feel alive again. If it wasnt for the nagging little voice in the back of my head, I would have.

Bad Ellen, I admonished myself jerking away from her embrace. I could almost hear my fathers voice laughing at my plight and calling me a jackass.

We have the worst timing, Ginny whispered turning her body away from mine. I mirrored her actions and focused on my glass of wine. I didnt object when she offered me another. We just sat there drinking in silence until the bottle was empty. Then we staggered upstairs mumbling our goodnights before retreating to the safety of our bedrooms.

The following morning Ginny and I looked like hell. Everyone was tense that day. We no longer had the distraction of the funeral to occupy us. I felt miserable knowing that my brother and Ginny would be leaving soon. I needed to get back to the city. Leaving Mom alone in the house was tearing at me. Mom, bless her heart, was firm each time one of us offered to delay leaving. She insisted that she was fine and her kids needed to go back to their lives. She finally got her point across by threatening to ground the lot of us for life. When everything was said and done Ginny went to visit her brothers grave. Then I put her and Sammy on planes and sent them on their way.

As the year dwindled down, I had tried to settle back into my life. It was the most difficult thing to do. Countless times I reached for the telephone to call Dad and ask his opinion about something or other. When I realized he wouldnt be there to answer I broke down. The only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that Dad would be disappointed in me if his passing sidetracked my life. Still there were far too many times when Id look out in the courtroom thinking I might see him. Id love when he sneak into town to watch me work. Then hed always treat me to a steak dinner and brag about me to anyone who would listen.

Just before the holiday mania began a ray of light entered my dreary existence. Ron stepped into my office one morning looking pale as a ghost. He stood there for the longest time with a strange look in his eyes. The rabbit died. He finally sputtered. It wouldnt be the last time Id hear him say those words. Unlike Evelyn and Wally, Ron and Spencer wanted to wait before starting a family. Also they didnt plan on having a large family. Good thing life doesnt listen to the plans we make. Other than my own parents I never saw two people who were more devoted to their children. All five of them.

That year was the first time none us really celebrated the holidays. We just couldnt get into a festive state of mind. It started with Thanksgiving. Mom wasnt feeling up to hosting a gathering. She and I ended up going to Uncle Freds. Sammy opted to go on a ski trip with some of his buddies from school and Ginny elected to stay in California. I hadnt spoken to her since her return. I was still leery that I would blurt out something stupid like clip Sparrows wings and take a powder. Or that Sparrow was evil. Now that would have been an ice breaker. I had to let it go. So, I did.

When Christmas arrived I just couldnt vacate the numb feelings that were strangling me. Mom didnt seem to mind that I decided to go on a trip instead of coming home. I went to Aspen and pretended that it wasnt Christmas. It was the only way I could get through it. After I came home I felt terrible knowing that I should have spent the day with my mother. She and Sammy spent the day alone after Ginny canceled her plans at the last minute. The end of the year was bleak. I could only hope that with the New Year all of us would find a little solace.

PART FOURTEEN

1969

This was a year of change. Nixon was president and promised to bring our boys home. The Beatles performed in public for the last time and our music was born at Woodstock. Jimi Hendrix, The Who and Janis Joplin guided our generation into the future. After decades of the police raiding gay bars, taking names and arresting people for doing nothing more than holding hands or dressing in clothing deemed not appropriate for their gender the Stonewall Riots gave birth to the gay rights movement. The world was in a constant state of chance and I faced yet another turning point in my life.

Everything in our world was hip, new or mod. I was what my mother called a modern woman. Frankly most of the time I felt like an old lady. I tried to spring back and embrace the day. It just felt strange. Dads passing left a void in our lives. Each day the distance grew greater. Mom finally put her foot down just before my thirtieth birthday. Enough was enough she tersely informed the lot of us. Of course she was wise enough to make her declaration to each of us separately. I dont think any of us knew that the others were going through the same turmoil. Not until Mom informed us. Her final words on the subject came from my father. Shape up or ship out! In our own way each of us did. I think there was something about the way Mom said it. I felt like Dad was reaching out from the grave to smack some sense into me.

Mom had forgiven all of us for our lapse in attitude over the holidays. She shared the sentiment which had only been made worse by her decision to clean out Dads shop two weeks before Christmas. She informed us that we could keep whatever we wanted as a memento; the rest was to be sold. Sammy and Ginny sent word as to what small item they wanted. Sammy wanted the sign that read Sams Barber Shop and Ginny asked if it would be alright if she could have one of Dads smocks. We put the items away for them. I on the other hand didnt want to give up everything. I wanted to preserve the shop as a shrine. Mom nixed that idea; tenderly explaining that it was time to let go. She was right what was I going to do with a jar filled with blue antibacterial liquid and combs? In the end I kept only the mug and brush set he used for shaving cream and his box of razors.

I wasnt ever going to use them. I just couldnt let go of the image of my Dad lathering up the shaving cream. The way the brush clinked against the cup. The way he would smile and make some joke as he brought the cream to a rich lather. My mother was stoic as we cleaned and cleared away any traces of Dads life. She sold everything off and then rented the building to some guy who wanted to open a record shop. Apparently it was what she and Dad had planned to do after Sammy finished school.

After we had locked the door for the last time, Mom broke down. I stayed with her for a few days before returning to Boston. I put the elegant case that held Dads razors away in a drawer and left the aging mug and brush out on my dresser. Each time I looked at it I remembered him. After a couple of weeks I knew that I couldnt go home for Christmas that year. Like a coward I ditched my family and went skiing. The guilt I felt over my actions lingered for a long time. I would find out later the reasons behind Ginnys absence had more to do with her studies than trying to avoid the family. I would have found out sooner if I hadnt opted to throw myself even deeper into my work. Avoiding going home was a great way to miss phone calls.

Outside of the confines of my job I never saw my friends. Most hadnt thought it possible that I could delve even deeper into plying my trade. I hadnt stopped to think about it. Strange inside the courtroom, I was complete. Out in the world I merely existed. What I had failed to realize was that I had been that way for most of my adult life. Always searching for that one thing missing in my life and too much of a coward to go for it. As my recently departed father would say, I was a jackass. I was living in a crazy, exciting time and wasted it by burying my face in briefs and motions.

The first crack in my veneer occurred late one afternoon when Spencer waltzed into my office inviting me to join her in going shopping for baby furniture of all things. What about Ron? I questioned peering over my glasses. Shouldnt he be the one to go with you?

I would ask him but then I might be tempted to shoot him, Spencer rolled her eyes. Hes no help at all.

I thought he took your gun away, I snickered feeling a tad uneasy when she just growled.

Fine, Im not armed, she tersely confessed. Dont know what hes worried about.

Uhm, that you might shoot him, I carefully pointed out. You do seem to bring it up in conversation every chance you get. Dont tell me that is your version of foreplay?

Could be, she flashed me a rakish grin. Seriously, neither of us felt comfortable leaving a gun in the house with a baby on the way. Well, Ron never felt comfortable having a gun in the house. The big chicken. So, are you going to put that crap away and join me? Or do I have to threaten to beat you with my purse?

Youre going to make a wonderful mother, I shuddered. It is good to see that even you are embracing the Age of Aquarius.

Age of Aquarius my ass, she snorted indignantly. Fine Im rough around the edges. Which is why I need help. Face it youre far more girlie than Ill ever be.

I dont know, I hesitated peering down at the stack of files that were covering my desk.

Ellen, she sternly began. When was the last time you stepped out of this office and went somewhere other than your apartment? Can you honestly tell me that anything sitting on your desk right now cant wait until the morning?

Fine, I gave up throwing my hands in the air. I slipped off my glasses and grabbed my purse. For your information I do have plans for tonight. It was a rare occurrence but it was sort of business. I didnt feel a need to mention that little tidbit.

Geez, you dress like a hippy, she chastised me. Good thing you dont act like one.

Are you saying that Im not cool? I shot back nudging her towards the door.

Not even close, Spencer groaned. Face it you work too much too be cool. The only thing cool about your life is that lava lamp and bean bag chair in that closet you call an apartment.

I was right you are going to be a good mother, I snapped shrugging on my coat. You already sound like mine. Whats up? Just practicing or am I in for another lecture?

A little of both, she sounded so smug. Now dont flip your wig. Youve heard it all before. If you wanted her to stay youd have asked her. And none of your friends believe it when you insist that youre over her.

Ginny again? I whine.

Who else? Unless by some miracle you really have gotten over her, Spencer snarled. You know if I were you, Id be pumping that mother of yours for info. She always seems to have the skinny on what your girl is up to.

First shes not my girl, I sternly corrected her.

She would be if you just opened your mouth, Spencer cut me to the quick. I know that saying those three little words is terrifying but for the love of God it has been forever.

Secondly, I pushed forward not at all enjoying being smacked upside the head with the truth. The last time I saw Ginny she was living with someone.

A flower child that has some serious personality defects, Spencer once again shot me down. What do they think the odds are that shes still shacked up with … What was her name again?

Sparrow. I hissed.

Sparrow? You got to be freaking kidding me, Spencer snarled rolling her eyes with utter disdain. As I was saying what do you think the odds are that she is still with a person who insulted your family? If I was a betting woman, which I am, Id bet that she clipped the fruitcakes wings the second she landed in sunny California. Then again you could find out. There is little invention called the telephone. We also have this system where if you write a letter, put a stamp on it and drop it in a mailbox it actually can reach a person anywhere in the world. Ellen for the love of all that is sacred just tell her how you feel. If you dont do something soon I fear that your friends are going to beat you senseless. Now thats over with it. I really need baby furniture. Four more months and the peanut is going to arrive. Might be nice if he had a bed.

You mean a crib, I shook my head still reeling from the metaphorical spanking she had just given me.

See I do need help, she pouted grabbing me by the arm. Chill out, the lecture is over. Its not like you ever listen.

You think its a boy? I was excited for her and eager to change the subject.

Im praying its a boy, she whimpered. I dont know how to raise a girl.

You are a girl, I stressed as we stepped out of the office and hailed a taxi.

Who was raised by her father, Spencer frowned. Granted I loved being able to get all dirty. And growing up a tomboy was real helpful when I joined the Navy. What if we have a daughter and shes all girlie like you? Ronnie and I are aces when it comes to throwing a baseball to the cut off man. Somehow I doubt that will be useful when shes getting ready for her first dance.

Could be, I laughed. I cant believe Ron is going to be someones father. I dont if I should be rejoicing or afraid.

Ronnie and I are freaked out enough, thank you very much, Spencer shivered guiding me into the baby store. I ran into Evelyn the other day.

How is she doing? I cringed. Evelyn had been on edge ever since she found out about Spencer and Ron.

Okay, I guess, Spencer frowned. I didnt know what to say to her. She and Wally have been trying to get pregnant since before the honeymoon.

I know, I sighed browsing through the row of cribs.

Ron and I were trying not to get pregnant, Spencer grumbled. Hell of a way to find out that the pill isnt a hundred percent effective. I mean were thrilled about the baby, terrified but thrilled just the same. What do you say to someone who is trying everything to get pregnant while you end up in the family way by dumb luck?

Just be happy, I tried to console her. Have you thought about a theme for the nursery?

Theme? Spencer gulped her eyes widening with fear. Why? It isnt like the little tyke is going to critique it. I just rolled my shoulders pretending I hadnt heard her. How about a nautical theme?

What if it is a girl? I laughed playing with a mobile.

Girls like boats, she meekly argued. I like boats. Fine what did you have in mind?

Winnie the Pooh or some other Disney theme, I suggested thoroughly amused by the far away look in her eyes.

Are you suggesting I devote a whole room to Bambi?

Its just a thought, I snickered. You know something cutesy. Teddy Bears maybe?

Teddy bears, she squealed. Now thats a happening idea. Thanks for coming. Ive been on edge. The doctors and Ron are worried because of my age. Youd think being over thirty was a crime.

Ugh, I groaned. Dont remind me.

Thats right, she laughed holding up a cute little outfit. Youre gonna be officially over the hill soon. I use to get so much flack when I was almost thirty and not married. Like I should be put out to pasture or something. Now Im getting flack because Im over thirty and having a baby. Is this the cutest thing or what? She gleefully questioned holding up the tiny dress.

Sure you dont want a girl? I teased.

Ill be happy with a healthy baby, she sighed. Okay lets get this started. We need a crib, changing table and a rocker so I can breast feed.

Dont forget a diaper service, I pointed out. We should have brought my mom shes a whiz at this stuff. Shes talking about selling the house. I added quietly stopping when Spencer found a crib that appeared to peek her interest.

How do you feel about that? Spencer pried inspecting the crib.

You sound like Linda, I sneered. I love her to pieces but every time we get together I feel like shes psychoanalyzing me.

Speaking of which, Spencer prattled on while checking the sturdiness of the crib. Has she gotten anywhere with your new client?

Ill find out later, I shrugged. Im meeting her for drinks. You dont need to shake it that hard. I doubt the baby will be doing jumping jacks in it.

I dont know he or she will have half my genes anything is possible. Do these things come assembled? Or am I gonna have to trust my husband with a screwdriver? She questioned still carefully examining the crib.

Rons not mechanically inclined, I sputtered truly surprised.

Lord no, Spencer snorted. Half the time Im terrified that hes going to hurt himself. Dont know why his male pride wont just give in and let me handle things. Preassembled seems to be the answer that way he isnt sulking and I dont have to sneak in behind him to repair the damage. You never answered my question. Not that Im surprised youre a real pro when it comes to being evasive. How do you feel about your mom selling the house?

It makes sense, I frowned. Its just her now. I just hate letting go and dont say it. Yes, I know that also seems to be a habit with me. I wont go and Im too much of a coward to move forward. No wonder Linda is hell bent on getting me on the couch.

Why? Spencer waved for a salesgirl. You know what the prob is. Only question is when are you going to do something about it? Like my Dads poker buddies use to say, time to put up or shut up.

Only you could reduce my many foibles to such a simple statement, I grunted looking past Spencer to see what was keeping the saleswoman. Are we visible here or what? Im going to assume they dont work on commission in this shop.

Now you know why I like carrying a gun so much, she growled clenching the crib tighter. And why I want a strong crib. Again if this kid is anything like me he or she will need something that will keep them from making a break for it. Yo! A little service here! She barked startling everyone in the shop. Except for me of course. I would have thought Spencer would have blown her top a good ten minutes ago.

By the time we had finished, Spencers bank account had dwindled considerably and I was late meeting Linda. I professed my apologies when I plopped down beside her at Greystones, a lesbian bar hidden in the financial district. You were shopping for baby furniture? She knitted her brow thoroughly surprised by my flurried explanation.

Yes, I rolled my shoulders. And I swear if you ask me how that made me feel Im gonna stab you with my swizzle stick. Tanqueray and tonic please. I requested from the barmaid. Any news on my client? I questioned after my drink was delivered. You know like his real name. The cops are pretty certain it isnt Peter Parker.

You didnt get that did you? She laughed hysterically.

No, I huffed still confused as to why everyone, including the judge, found it funny. I was assigned to Mr. Parkers case or whatever the hell his name is by the court after he taped two dozen plumbers helpers to his body and tried to scale the Prudential tower. With the courts permission I immediately checked him into the farm and called Linda in. Why is his secret identity so funny?

Never read comic books when you were growing up? Linda questioned with a jovial laugh.

Just Wonder Woman which explains so much dont you think, I waved for another gin and tonic.

Peter Parker is Spider Man, Linda howled.

Isnt that just swell, I wanted bang my head on the bar. My client thinks hes Spider Man. That might explain the plungers strapped to his body when he tried to scale the Prudential Building. Have we found out his real name?

Roger Blaine, she wiped a tear from her cheek.

Tell me about Mr. Blaine? Is he a danger to himself and or others? I groaned.

Oh yeah, Linda chuckled. This guy is completely bonkers. So much so that Im turning him into a case study. Ill send over the report in the morning. I dont think the judge will have a problem with leaving him in my care. Where do you find these guys?

They find me, I tersely insisted. My whole life it has been just one whack job after another. At least Im keeping the both of us in business.

How are you doing? She questioned with a determined gleam in her dark brown eyes. Dating anyone?

No and I dont really want to be out there right now. Thank you very much, I grumbled not in the mood to have my inner child picked to pieces. My Mom is selling the house. Ive been thinking maybe I should move in with her.

Getting rid of your bachelor pad? Linda gulped with surprise waving for the barmaid before requesting another round. My, that is a bold move. But moving in with Mommy?

Im worried about her, I confessed. As for my digs we all know why Ive clung to it for so long.

Yeah, it keeps the women in your life conveniently out of your life, Linda quickly surmised. Including that all elusive one you want to stay but are to chicken shit to ask.

Is that your professional assessment? I groaned feeling a good buzz creeping up on me.

Absolutely, she grinned far too pleased with herself for my liking. Ellen we all walk through life damaged.

So, whats your malfunction? I pressed hoping to shove the spotlight away from myself.

Im a black woman raised by a mother who was the stereotypical maid for a snotty, rich, white family and I feel a need to overcome that, she smugly retorted.

So, youre an overachiever and Im a chicken shit? I scoffed before glancing down at my cocktail wondering if I really needed more gin. Doesnt seem fair. So, Doc why do I do it?

Beats the hell out of me, she laughed once again. No pouting. Fine. Id have to say it is because you never moved on. Each time youve tried to youve subconsciously set yourself up to fail by selecting women youll never have a future with.

Are we finished with the psychobabble for the evening? I tersely snapped not feeling at all comfortable with how accurate her assessment was. What about you? Anyone new in your life?

No, she pouted.

What happened to that nurse? I gently questioned.

Major closet case and I wasnt up for it, she grimly explained.

Oh, I went on that trip once. Should have gotten a refund, I sympathized playing with the ice in my drink.

Right, the lawyer chick, she shivered. What is it you said about her? She had a problem separating church from state.

Thats the one, I scowled. Im not one to put down someones faith but give it a rest.

Faith is important, Linda cautioned me. Dont you believe in God?

Yes, I nodded. Shes coming and shes pissed. I quipped. Seriously. Yes, I do. Religion just doesnt sit well with me. Less so after dating Loretta.

Fair enough, she sighed spying her drink. I drank too much.

Yeah, me too, I rubbed my brow knowing that I was going to regret over indulging in the morning. So, do you think I should move in with Mom? Ive mentioned it to her and shes a little leery.

Why do you want to? She pressed.

Im worried about her and Id feel better if I was there for her, I confessed my shoulders slumping. Gonna put a crimp in my love life. Then again we all know my love life is in a holding pattern.

Maybe it is time to bring it in for a landing? She sounded frustrated. The same frustration most of my friends shared. Have you talked to Ginny since the funeral?

No, I smacked my lips. Shes called the office. I keep missing her calls. I could call her friend Harmony. I just dont want to hear that she is still with Sparrow. I dont think I could handle that right now. Losing Dad was hard enough; finding out that I dont have a snowballs chance in Hell with Ginny would be too much.

So, youre just ducking her calls and shoving your head in the sand? Linda groaned looking as if she wanted to smack me. Do yourself and your friends a big favor. The next time you talk to her just tell her how you feel. The worst that will happen is shes moved on. At least youll have closure.

Closure is severely overrated, I tried to joke. Judging by the furious gleam in her eyes I knew I had fallen short. Fine I will. It was time. Hells bells it was way past time to tell Ginny. I was beyond ready to speak from my heart and let the chips fall where they may. I was tired of running. Tired of pretending that I was doing the right thing.

Im serious, Linda pushed.

So am I, I finally caved. Ill be thirty soon. I cant keep clinging to the hope shes coming home. Im also loaded and should head home before I embarrass myself.

I hear that, she nodded placing money on the bar. Come on lets split a cab.

The following day Spencer once again popped into my office. This time she was there on business. I had to feel for the poor woman at times. During her first pregnancy Spencer was completely unprepared for the changes her body and hormones threw at her. Spencer had gotten a lot of flack doing her job solely because she was a woman. Add being obviously pregnant to the mix and folks just turned nasty. Back in those days pregnant women didnt work period. In fact the moment an employer discovered a woman was expecting she quite often was wished well before being showed the door. Spencer was self employed and stubborn as a bull. Anyone who even suggested that perhaps she should take it easy usually received a colorful and lengthy commentary in response.

What cha reading? She inquired taking a seat and tossing a file onto my desk.

I showed her the copy of The Godfather I had been reading. I like it, I smiled as she rubbed her slightly enlarged tummy. Want to borrow it?

Nah, she grimaced rolling her shoulders. I cant seem to focus these days. All part of the joy. She added dramatically rolling her eyes. Thats the report on Henning.

Thank you, I smiled thinking she looked amazing. Anything we didnt know?

No, she groaned shifting uncomfortably in her chair. The guy is an idiot. Good luck in court. It is so much more fun when your clients are innocent.

No kidding, huh, I smirked agreeing whole heartedly with her observation. Loretta wont even consider a deal.

They take her off sex crimes? Spencer absently inquired.

Permanently, I shook my head. Her boss felt that she came off slightly brash with juries.

Right, Spencer grimaced. Most juries are filled with men and they perceive her as bitchy.

Basically, I grimly conceded. How are you feeling?

Like a beached whale, Spencer growled.

Okay. Glad I asked, I laughed loudly.

Thanks again for last night, she smiled. You have no idea how good it feels to start putting the nursery together. By the by what did Linda say about Parker?

Hes nuts, I shrugged. I have his hearing scheduled for Thursday which should be a lot of fun. Remind me again why I do this?

You are a true believer, Spencer snickered.

Theres my loving wife, Ron announced as he strolled into my office. Not trying to steal her are you?

Can you blame me? I played along. Shes really hot.

Have the two of you started drinking your lunch? Spencer groaned.

No, Ron grumbled. In fact I havent eaten yet.

Good, Spencer beamed. That means you can take me to lunch.

Im a lucky man, Ron readily agreed.

Yes, you are, I sighed feeling slightly envious as they left my office. I had some time left before I had to get back to work. I tried to get back into my book. I couldnt focus as the image of Ron and Spencer looking so incredibly happy kept nagging at me. I wasnt happy and I hadnt been in such a very long time. The solution was simple. I threw the book down and picked up the telephone. I dialed the number I had memorized and almost never used.

Peace, an overly mellow voice greeted me.

Harmony? This is Ellen, Ginnys friend, I squeaked out twirling the phone cord between my fingers. My heart was racing as I waited for her to respond.

Hey, how are you? She softly said and I began to wonder if Harmony had been smoking something other than cigarettes.

By any chance have you heard from Ginny? I sheepishly asked.

No, uhm shes been banging the books, Harmony laughed. I think she did good though. At least thats what she said before she split.

Split? I trembled. Shes on the road again?

Yeah, Harmony sounded surprised. Havent you talked to her?

No, I groaned realizing that I had once again missed my chance. Thanks.

Peace, she sighed before hanging up.

Damn it, I whimpered as I hung up the receiver. Where in the hell is she?

A week later I thought Loretta was going to do a victory lap around the courtroom. It was rare that I lost a case. Even rarer was losing to Loretta. After the verdict was handed down and I met with my client to prepare him for sentencing I stopped to grab a soda and almost plowed into Loretta. I was so startled by her jovial behavior I almost choked on the pop top I slid inside my can of grape soda.

Will you stop gloating? I sneered disgusted by the way she was pumping her fist.

Not a chance, she bounced on her heels. Half the time you get your client off before the case goes before a judge. The rest of the time you get them off. Allow me this brief moment of celebration before you come in at the eleventh hour and have the verdict over turned.

I doubt it, I glumly conceded brushing past her knowing that she would follow. This time, I have a feeling that my client is in for the full ride.

Ah, music to my ears. She pounded her chest.

I cant believe I dated you, I harped while she looked up and down the sidewalk fearful that someone had heard me. Oh just come out already. Youll be much happier, I demanded. It was so easy giving other people advice about their lives. Curious that I had a steadfast rule against following others advice regarding my many defects.

If only life was that simple. She glumly muttered under her breath.

Yeah, well Ill see you in court soon. Next time you wont get off so easy, I threatened as she laughed. I said goodbye to the overly happy woman when I needed to start heading down Charles Street. Everything was so close, my home, my work and the courthouse all were in walking distance of one another. That was going to be something I was going to miss if I ended up moving in with my mother. Plus my social life which was no great shakes at the time was in for a twist. Although having the excuse of living with Mom might come in handy if a date became too amorous for my tastes. Then again it had been ages since I experienced a real date. What to do? I echoed the one question I had been asking myself for well over a decade.

I walked into our humble office and threw out my soda can or as we called it back then tonic. Yes, I threw it in the trash. Recycling was not around back then. In those days we just threw trash away never thinking about where our debris would go after the trash man picked it up. Pop tops were another part of our life. At the time we considered the pull tabs that yanked a sharp sliver of metal from the top of a beverage container a modern master piece. Modern? Yes compared to having to use a church key or a can opener they were a convenient. The major drawbacks being the sharp metal tabs were often discarded and people stepped on them usually inflicting injury. If we felt like being tidy, we dropped the pull tabs into our beverages leading to a number of people to choke on them. Now thats modern ingenuity for you.

Ron cut me off before I could reach my office. How did it go? He hurriedly inquired tailing after me as I made my way towards my office.

About what I expected, I snarled. Got my ass handed to me.

Sorry, he grimaced. Cant win them all.

He deserved it, I sighed. I honestly dont recall I represented someone who was innocent. How did your case go? You had a pretrial hearing on the McManus case this morning didnt you?

Judge tossed it, Ron gloated. The DA didnt have a case. The best part is McManus can pay his bill.

A paying client? I practically squealed. Will wonders never cease.

A paying client who isnt related to or went to high school with us, Ron laughed. How rare is that? Speaking of which I thought I should give you a heads up. Rita and Kim are handling one of our old buddies. Well one of my old buddies. Mark Dane. He left Margie.

Shit, I sighed. I wasnt overly fond of Mark or Margie yet it was still distressing to hear the class couple had split up. What happened? I thought they were the poster kids of happy suburban life.

Mark woke up one morning and decided he didnt want to be married anymore, Ron cringed. He also doesnt want to be a cop or a father anymore. Hes decided to find himself.

Didnt know he was missing, I drolly retorted. So, he wants out after three kids and a dozen years?

Yes, Ron sadly confirmed. Hes had a chip on his shoulder ever since he had to pass on Notre Dame.

She didnt get pregnant all by herself, I furiously argued.

Not the way he tells it, Ron grunted. Sucks hes the one that hired us.

You shouldnt have told me, I pursed my lips disgusted by Marks attitude.

Why not?

Because now if I see him here Ill be tempted to set him on fire, I calmly explained.

Then I guess Kim needing to talk to you about a little background on Margie isnt going to thrill you? Ron blurted out before slipping out of my office.

I hate my life, I threw up my hands completely disgusted.

Later that afternoon Kim asked if I could drop by her office before I left for the day. Sorry about this Ellen, she quickly apologized as I took a seat.

Dont sweat it, I waved it off. Ill be honest. Im not cool with our client or his soon to be ex-wife. Although Margie did apologize for being a dip shit in high school.

Ron said you and Mrs. Danes were close, Kim questioned clearly confused.

We were. Emphasis on the past tense, I tried to clarify. You know how it goes. Growing up youre as thick as thieves and then one day youre not. We grew in different directions. Margies apology a few years ago was a bogus gesture. She needed me to defuse an uncomfortable situation and after I did she went back to being snotty with me. Mark hasnt been nice to me ever since the big fallout during our senior year. Last time I saw him was when Sandy Hewitt overdosed. He tried to drag me into the gutter over it.

I dont get it, Kim opened a file on her desk. Whats their damage?

In the beginning it was guilt by association. Later it was because I had the bad manners to come out of the closet, I sneered. In all fairness, we had been a pretty tight group. Then Ginny got arrested and I stood by her. Suddenly I was persona non grata. So, what does Mark hope to get out of the divorce?

Out, Kim grunted. He wants to be free and not have to worry about alimony or child support. I wouldnt be surprised if he split for California with the stripper hes shacked up with before the divorce is final.

Mark and an exotic dancer? Margie must be wigging, I shrewdly surmised. How in the hell does he think hell be able to just walk away? Theyre his kids too.

He claims that she tricked him into the marriage, Kim grimaced. The guy is a jerk. His wife doesnt want a divorce and is fighting the petition.

They really do deserve each other, I muttered under my breath. So, how can I help? I havent been a part of the inner circle since they first started going steady. Right about that time I was spending all my free time with Ginny. Margie wasnt pleased. I bit my tongue before I let it slip that Margie had a tryst with Ginny.

Is there any chance that Mrs. Danes got pregnant on purpose in an effort to keep Mr. Danes from leaving? Kim meekly questioned. It was painfully clear she didnt want to work on the case.

All I know, which isnt much is Margie never seemed thrilled about going to college, I carefully offered. And she was gaga over Mark. I seem to recall Margie saying that Mark was the one. Which I interpreted to mean that she was going to go all the way.

She was a virgin? Kim treaded carefully.

Yes, I blurted out a little too quickly. I curled my lips slightly once again reminded that she had messed around with Ginny. According to Ginny they had done it. I could only conclude that in Margies world messing around with another girl wasnt actually having sex.

Are you sure? Kim adeptly picked up on my hesitation.

Yes, I emphatically answered.

Ellen what arent you telling me? Kim demanded.

Look before Mark, I stammered slightly. Margie hadnt gone all the way with another guy. She did get to third base and do a little oral stuff with Stewie who she dated the year before. We use to be close and shared everything. Thats how I know that Mark was the first guy.

Guy? Any reason why you feel a need to keep stressing that? Kim astutely caught my slip of the tongue. Oh, dont tell me you and your best friend,

No, I blanched sicken by the thought. Never even crossed my mind. Margie never was and never will be my type thank you very much.

Then what are you hiding? Kim demanded.

Its hearsay, I quickly tried to deflect the question.

I love you litigators, Kim mocked me. Matrimonial law allows for mud slinging. Out with it.

I dont feel comfortable, I argued. Especially since you said that chances are our client is going to skip town.

Thats the problem Ellen, Kim wearily explained. Our client is Mr. Danes. I dont like it anymore than you do.

You are evil, I growled squirming in my seat. Fine, someone mentioned that when Mrs. Danes was a teenager she engaged in a little drunken experimentation. From what Ive heard you straight girls do that.

Oh yeah, Kim blew it off. No one talks about it. But it happens. I dont think we need to bring it up. Mr. Danes is mostly focused on proving that Mrs. Danes encouraged him to have intercourse during a time when she knew that chances were good that shed get pregnant. And the subsequent lack of affection after they married.

She got knocked up and the passion faded after they were married? I couldnt help laughing. My God, I never heard of such a thing.

I know the guy is an idiot, Kim readily agreed. Ive already told him that her lawyer will rightfully point out that he if he wasnt smart enough to make a stop at the drugstore he should have kept his pants on. Lets be honest even in this age of enlightenment no one expects the woman to buy the balloons for the party.

The more I learn, the happier I am that Im into matching parts. It all sounds so complicated, I confessed. I never had to worry about getting knocked up. Just a little concerned that I might get the clap.

Hey dont look at me, Kim shrugged making a couple of quick notes. I waited for my wedding night so did Malcolm. What about you? She coyly added before tucking the file away.

What about me? I gasped.

Maybe Im assuming things, Kim snickered. When did you?

My senior year of high school, I blushed. In my defense I was in love.

What happened to her? Kim innocently inquired. For the life of me I was clueless as to how she had been spared from the drama that is my life.

She went to prison, I dryly explained waiting for the ball to drop.

Prison? Kim furrowed her brow until the pieces fell into place. Our favorite client?

Favorite? I shook my head in confusion.

Virginia Swenson, she spelled out. The woman whose case started this firm. The same woman whose financial dealings are making Tyler very happy.

What? I questioned feeling completely confused. Thankfully there was a knock on the door and Ron barged in ending our strange conversation.

Hey whats up? He innocently questioned.

We were just talking about sex, I couldnt resist making him blush. So, Ron when did you lose your virginity and more importantly who was the lucky lady?

No comment, he didnt disappoint me by blushing profusely.

Oh, come now you know who I did it with, I egged him on.

I swear the two of you grew up in a really small town, Kim laughed.

Hey not all of us got to score with the Swenson twins, he choked out.

For the last time, I did not sleep with the psycho bitch from hell, I barked. I saved my favors for the one who has a grip on reality. Who was it, Ron? I cant believe you were still innocent when you went off to college.

Youll think less of me, he mumbled tugging on his tie.

Not possible, I snickered disturbingly pleased by his discomfort. It had to be one of my fellow paper shakers.

Candy, he glumly confessed. We dated briefly before you and I went out.

Kims right we did grow up in a small town, I shivered. Kim if were done I have some work to finish. I quickly excused myself.

The following weekend, due to my overworking, I had managed to put Spider Man and most of my other cases to bed. I decided that I needed to start spending more time with my mother. I was really thinking that living with her might be good for the both of us. I was also worried that we might end up bludgeoning one another to death. I arrived on Friday evening planning to stay until Monday morning. We made dinner together and were just about to sit down when it happened. Mom began setting the table and she set three places. It wasnt the first time it had happened since my fathers passing. It was the first time it rattled her chains. Normally she would simply clear the place setting and become very quiet. This time she rushed her arm across the table shattering the extra plate and silverware. God Damn son of a bitch, she howled kicking the shattered pieces. Why did you leave me? She demanded.

I stood there shocked at the sight. My mothers hands were clenched in rage. I had never seen her like this before. Mom, I slowly began once I found my voice.

Relax, Ellen, she groaned raking her hands through her hair. I got angry. You should try it sometime.

Excuse me? I sputtered stunned by her words. Mom you dont know what you are saying. I tried to reason assuming that her grief was speaking for her.

Yes, I do, she sniffed. Im angry because the love of my life was taken from me. Why havent you ever gotten angry over losing the love of your life? You got focused. Hell bent on saving Ginny. But you never got mad. Never just shouted, screamed and threw a fit over what happened. Why?

Like I said you dont know what you are talking about, I coldly informed her. Ill get the broom and clean up the mess.

I couldnt believe what my mother had said to me. I buried my anger not realizing that by doing so I was proving her point. I walked into the kitchen grabbed a broom and a dustpan. I calmly returned to the living room bent down and began to clear away the mess. I do get angry, I quietly explained as I kneeled on the floor clearing away the debris. I just dont show it. I get angry with what happened. I get very angry with Laurie. I get mad as hell with Ginny and mostly I get very pissed off at myself. I just forgot how to show it. I concluded rising to my feet. The good dishes. I shrugged looking at the shattered pieces.

Ive always hated those dishes, she smirked patting me on the arm. Your grandmother never had any taste. Are you serious about living with me?

Id sleep better at night, I confessed strolling towards the kitchen. Ill be honest Im worried that well get on each others nerves.

Me too, she smiled hovering behind me as I deposited the broken dish in the trash. I think I found a place that might work. It has a mother in-law apartment. We could live together without living together. Want to go see it in the morning?

Yes, I blinked thinking that Mom had found the perfect solution.

You know packing up the house is going to be a bear, she shrewdly prattled on opening a cabinet door. Want to cut down on the packing?

Mom? I squeaked out.

Im pissed, she squealed reaching up and grabbing a stack of dishes. Youre pissed and it will be one last thing to pack. Plus I really hate these suckers. Grab a stack. She seemed positively giddy as she stormed out the back door.

Shes finally snapped. I shuddered watching from the kitchen window as my normally calm mother began hurling dinner plates at the large tree in the backyard. She screamed at the heavens for taking my father away while rallying one plate after another. I quirked my head slightly before grabbing a large stack and rushing to join her. What the hell she seemed to be enjoying herself.

A half an hour later our throats were raw from screaming. Our bodies exhausted and a large green and yellow mess was piled up in the backyard. We raged at everything, exposing deep scars that had burned us long ago. You were right those were some ugly ass dishes, I smiled. And I do feel better. I didnt know you knew some of those words.

Your command of the English language was equally expressive, Mom laughed. Oh, look at that mess. Well deal with it later. Come on inside, Im exhausted.

The following day we went to see the house in Brookline. It was a two bedroom with white walls and mahogany trim. There was a small back yard and it was close to the train station. I thought it might be a wee bit small for Mom. Truth was I was still uncomfortable with the thought of giving up my childhood home. Until I saw the apartment upstairs. Wow, this guy must have loved his mother in-law, I stood in the middle of the living room ogling the beamed ceiling, fireplace and master bedroom which was bigger than my present living accommodations.

Wonder what thats like, Mom snickered behind me. What do you think? Should I make an offer?

Yes, I finally agreed after taking a moment to let it sink in. But were making an offer. Split everything fifty-fifty.

Ellen, she began to argue.

Im serious, I stuck to my guns. Ive managed to save some money. It is only fair. This way youll have the rest of the money from the old place set aside for your retirement.

Not half, she scolded me. The downstairs is much bigger and nicer.

Mom, I fussed. I said half. Whats the point of having a kid whos a lawyer if she cant cough up a little bread now and then?

You are a brilliant lawyer, she patted my cheek. And most of the time you work for free. I want to sell the cars. Except for the Chevy. I spoke to Dirk and hes agreed to help me keep it up. Unless you want to keep one of the other cars.

No way, I quickly rejected the thought. We all love the Chevy. And were close to the green line so I can get to work without needing a car. Lets go make the offer.

I have to say my mother really knows her stuff when it comes to buying and selling houses. She managed to purchase the new place at a very reasonable price and she got a very good deal on the old place. All the papers passed just before my dreaded thirtieth birthday. Now all that was left was packing up the old place. Sammy had finished school a wee bit early and was spending his last semester doing an internship. Which meant he could come home and help with the packing. I still hadnt spoken to Ginny but Mom informed me that she was on her way to help with the move. I still dont know if I was thrilled to see her again or scared witless. I was serious when I promised Linda that I would finally come clean.

Fortunately the rigors of putting all our homes in order distracted me. Breaking down my apartment in town had taken very little effort. The only things I was keeping were my personal items, the lava lamp and the television. Mom agreed that my television was much nicer than hers and would be perfect for her new living room. The rest went out on the sidewalk. It was a couple of days before my big birthday and Mom and I had managed to buy new stuff which was to be delivered to the new place the following day.

We had packed up most of the old house. I broke down the dinning room, the kitchen most of my old room and Ginnys room. Sammy was due to arrive the next day and Ginny was still in route. Mom kept grumbling about how ticked off she was that Ginny was probably hitching her way across the country. She ranted on and on about the guy who was picking up young girls in California and scattering their body parts in the ocean. Yeah that was going to help me sleep at night.

I tried my level best to set aside my fears. I focused on packing up my childhood memories. It still amazes me that I had accumulated so much crap in eighteen years. I found myself blushing when I found my old cheerleading outfit. I packed it away making a mental note that if things went okay with Ginny I should try on the tiny outfit. I ended up throwing out more than I kept. Parting with my childhood memories was an arduous task. But seriously what was I going to do with an old thing of Silly Putty and my old dolls? By the time Mom and I had decided to call it a night I was exhausted passing out the moment my head hit the pillow.

Since my recent decision to finally take the plunge and really talk to Ginny my dreams had become very interesting. It was almost always the same. I was asleep and Ginny would crawl into bed with me. Her hands roaming over my body. I would tell her that I love her and she would say the same. Our clothing would magically slip away. Dreams are really great that way; you can just cut to the chase. That night it was the same. I was whispering her name before professing my love. The only difference was she was fully dressed and struggling slightly.

Ellen? Her voice drifted into my dreams.

Hmm, I smiled in my sleep. My hands desperately trying to undress her. I love you. I mumbled tugging on her jacket.

Ellen? She softly repeated.

In my slumber I reached out pulling her down. Stay, I whispered wrapping my arms around her my eyes blinking open. This was by far the most interesting dream. She smiled down at me her eyes twinkling with amusement.

Ellen? She repeated with a puzzled look. Are you awake?

Stay, I repeated slipping my hands beneath her jacket. My dream Ginny was not very cooperative that night. Which was beginning to tick me off.

Yeah, okay, she groaned seemingly annoyed by my wandering hands. Look theres no bed in my room, she whispered. The sofa is gone too. I sighed deeply cupping her face in my hand. Ellen are you awake? Ginny questioned her voice becoming playful.

Stay? I whispered drawing her closer. Finally asking for what I should have requested a long time ago.

You keep saying that. You know Ma will freak if she catches me in your bed, she tried to reason with me.

Not in my bed, I yawned my hand slipping to her waist. Stay? Here in Boston. Dont leave me again. I love you

What? She gasped; her body stiffening.

Somewhere in my muddled mind I knew she was really there. I also knew that I could feign ignorance later. Still as Spencer had so delicately put it, time to put up or shut up. For a brief moment I panicked. There she was as big as life kneeling beside my bed my hands pulling her down on top of me. A part of me was thrilled that I had finally said it. A bigger part of me was scared spitless.

Ellen, Ginnys voice trembled. Seriously, are you awake?

There it was the perfect escape. I couldnt do it. Not really, I smacked my lips. But I meant what I said. Should have said it years ago. I closed the door behind me, leaving no room to back peddle. There I said it. Ginny was visibly shocked by my confession. She just loomed above me staring down at me her eyes blinking rapidly.

You dont have to say anything, I murmured my hands slipping from her body. Talk about making things uncomfortable. There she was the love of my life looking at me as if I had lost my mind. Certainly not the response I had been hoping for. Still what did I expect after blindsiding her. Then again I had hoped that when I finally confessed my true feelings Id be awake for the momentous event. Now I had blurted out my deepest desires while half asleep. Then I had cut off any path of retreat. I was left with no options except to face the consequences of my rash actions. There was a huge ass albatross clinging to me and I was ready to accept whatever fate would hand me. No use getting upset over it, after all thanks to the tirade Mom and I threw last month we were out of dishes. Knowing that I had finally done the right thing failed to calm the rapid beating of my heart.

Ellen, I … Ginny stammered.

Dont have to say anything, I cut her off rolling over.

Love you, she wryly concluded thankfully ignoring my words. I spun around pleased by the brilliant smile that greeted me. You do like keeping a gal off balance dont you? And all I was looking for was a suggestion as to where I should bunk for the night.

Climb in? I pulled back the covers.

Ma, she began to protest.

Was the one who donated the sofa to the church rummage sale and had me break down the other beds, I cut off her protests. Shell just have to live with the consequences of her actions. Its late. Come to bed. I finally asserted. There was so much we needed to talk about. I seriously doubted that either of us was prepared to handle it at that moment. I was just happy that I had finally expressed my feelings for her, and thrilled beyond belief that she seemed to feel the same way. In the morning, or to be more precise later that day since it was well after three A.M. we could deal with reality. At that moment all I craved was to hold her in my arms. My heart finally stopped hammering against my chest when she nodded. Ginny stood and stripped down to her panties before climbing under the covers. Not the high romantic moment I had always dreamed of but damn it felt good to curl up in her arms.

Eleanore Roosevelt Druette! I heard Mom bellowing from the doorway.

Not the wake up call I was hoping for, I laughed turning towards my completely flustered mother who looked like she was ready to have a cow. Mom theres a blonde in my bed, I feigned innocence. And my birthday isnt until Sunday.

I can see that, Mom snarled trying to scare me off with a hostile glare. Now get off her.

Geez Mom why so tense? I couldnt refrain from taunting her. I also noticed that I was lying on top of Ginny.

Seriously get off Ginny, Mom frantically demanded.

Kill joy, I grumbled finally rolling my body away from Ginnys. Happy? I grunted climbing off the bed.

Ecstatic, Mom bluntly informed me. Ginny?

I swear she started it, Ginny whimpered trying to hide under the pillow.

Stop the both of you, she cautioned us while I began to dig through my boxes searching for something to wear. I have enough gray hairs.

Where? I laughed knowing that I was probably sporting more gray than mom since she had a standing appointment at the beauty parlor every week.

Knock it off, Mom wagged her finger furiously. Apparently she wasnt happy. Go figure. I swear the two of you pull these shenanigans just to upset me. And when did you get here?

Earlier this week, I yawned stretching my arms above my head.

Not you, smart ass, Mom rolled her eyes. Virginia?

Early this morning, Ginny grumpily retorted still hiding under the pillow.

Stop frothing at the mouth Mom, I smirked. Nothing happened. Sleeping Beauty didnt have a bed. Remember? We broke down the other ones yesterday.

Well if someone accepted the plane ticket instead of hitchhiking I would have known when she was arriving, she scolded Ginny.

I didnt hitch, Ginny threw the pillow aside pulling the blanket up to hide her naked form. I took the bus. Mom just glared down at her. I did. I swear. She flashed the Girl Scout salute.

Be that as it may, Mom cleared her throat not thrilled to see Ginnys half naked body lounging in my bed. We need to get cracking. Ellen you and I need to pick up the U-Haul. Ginny you can sleep until we get back. If Sammy gets in give him directions to the new place.

Thank you, Ginny yawned burying her face back in my pillow.

See you are the favorite, I barked at the slumbering blonde. Okay, Mom. I just need to throw on some clothes. I shooed my mother towards the door.

Youre changing your clothes in here? Mom stammered.

This is where my clothes are, I boldly asserted just pleased as punch at how flustered my poor mother was. I could see her point. She came to my childhood bedroom to wake me up and found Ginny in bed with me. No matter how much she wanted the two of us to work things out I seriously doubted she wanted to witness our reunion. Mom stumbled out of the room closing the door behind her. Morning Sunshine! I called out startling poor Ginny.

I watched in amusement as she finally lifted her body and balanced herself on her arms. We have to talk, she gravely informed me.

My least favorite expression on earth, I growled the tension returning in full force. I swear to God if you suggest that we take things slowly I will throttle you, I threatened still fearing that my affections would be rejected.

Its been almost thirteen years, Ginny barked indignantly. Just how much slower could we possibly take things? Ellen I just wanted to tell you that I really want to try. Ive been waiting for years for you to ask me to stick around. You never did. Or there was some other woman waiting in the wings. Doesnt make a girl feel special, you know. All Im asking for is that if we are going to try to make this work, make us work is that I dont want to be looking over my shoulder.

You never had to worry about that, I sternly informed her slipping on my bellbottom jeans. It was the others that should have been concerned. I know you might not believe me since I was always so eager to be unfaithful to them. What you dont get is that youre the one that I wanted. It was always you.

Oh, she scrunched her brow. I continued to get dressed wondering if my words were registering. Why didnt you ever tell me?

Why didnt you? I sighed brushing out my short locks.

You have no idea how many times I almost did, she rubbed her sleepy eyes. Did Ma tell you that this isnt just a visit? Im moving back here and Ive already made arrangements to transfer to BC.

No, I scowled thinking that one of these days I was going to throttle my dear sweet mother. Must have slipped her mind.

As if! Ginny howled. Im moving in with her. Thats why shes been searching for a place with a separate apartment.

Just when did you find out about the new place? I stammered.

About a month ago, Ginny slowly explained. It will be nice. Ill have the upstairs and youre just in the city.

Uhm, no, I didnt know whether to laugh or pitch a fit. I moved out of the studio because Mom promised me the upstairs apartment.

And she was going to tell us, when? Ginny began to choke.

I suspect it was after we bumped into each other in the shower, I took a cleansing breath. Hello roomie.

Eleanore! My mother bellowed from the other room.

Flog her, torture her or just let her off the hook? So many possibilities, I mulled over my choices as I climbed on the bed.

Just let her off the hook, Ginny encouraged running her fingers through my short locks. We can work out the sleeping arrangements later. I just nodded before stealing a quick kiss. I really do love you.

And I love you, I sighed contently. As for the sleeping arrangements thats easy. You and me in a big brand new bed sounds like a plan. We still need to talk things over.

Understatement of the century, Ginny snickered. Go before she grounds us.

Mom and I picked up the U-haul and drove back to the old house. Ginny apparently had failed to fall back to sleep. The three of us loaded as much stuff as we could into the trailer. Since someone needed to be at the new place to meet the furniture delivery guys, Ginny volunteered to stay behind and wait for Sammy. Communication was going to be a problem since the phone at the old house had been turned off and the new phones wouldnt be installed until the following week. Yes, installed thats the way it happened back then, a real live human being had to show up at your house to hook up your phone. And the closest thing we had to a mobile phone was a couple of tin cans attached by a string.

Moms grumpy mood failed to improve when we went over to the new house. We toiled away unloading stuff in the new house. All the furniture arrived on time and was set up. After we finished unloading the U Haul I said a silent prayer Sammy had arrived back at the old place. Perhaps seeing her baby would calm Mom down. When Moms already sullen mood turned nasty I made the grievous error of asking if she had refilled her prescription of what we like to call her happy pills. When she bit my head of for asking I made a mental note to stop by the pharmacy on my way home.

Mom turned frantic when we returned to the old house and found Ginny and Sammy working hard to organize things. What nudged Mom even further over the edge was discovering that Sammy hadnt arrived alone. Mom hadnt been the only one keeping secrets. Sammy had brought home a delightful secret he had been keeping. Her name was Becky. I liked her instantly. Mom seemed hesitant at first but she warmed up. Moms biggest source of concern was the sleeping arrangements. I thought I had come up with the perfect solution. Sammy could sleep in the new pullout sofa and Becky could have the spare room. It wasnt difficult to figure out since Ginny and I fully intended on sharing the upstairs apartment.

I just thought, Mom choked out. That perhaps one of you girls would want to stay downstairs until,

Until what? Ginny sputtered. Ma, you promised it to the both of us.

Yeah, whats the big deal? I pressed curious if she thought we were rushing things or perhaps she wasnt ready to share our little family secret with Becky. After all Sammy had introduced both Ginny and I to Becky as his sisters. Even so I seriously doubted that he would have brought Becky home to meet the family if she had a problem with the situation. Mom finally muttered something about it being okay and for the moment the crisis was over. And all of us went to work loading up the last of the boxes. Naturally while we were toiling away all of us pumped poor Becky for information. None of us had been aware that Sammy was dating anyone much less someone special enough to bring home to meet the family.

Apparently Sammy and Becky had been dating for sometime. He had wanted to bring her home during last holiday break but when Dad passed away they agreed that the timing wasnt right. The five of us toiled away until the last box had been unloaded. Then Sammy and Becky went to drop off the U Haul and pick up dinner.

Here, I cornered Mom in the kitchen handing her a fresh bottle of pills I had managed to sneak off to pick up at the pharmacy.

Oh very funny, she swatted me before taking two pills. Just wait until you have menopause.

Yeah, sounds like a blast. I groaned.

Im sorry I acted like a screaming banshee this morning, Mom sullenly apologized.

We werent doing anything, I quickly reassured her.

Then why were you on top of her? She whimpered.

Thats where I woke up, I laughed.

A part of me was thrilled, she confessed. Another part of me is your mother. Today was so damn hard. Locking up the house for the last time. In two days my baby turns thirty and Sammy brought home a girl. This is happening way to fast.

Thirty years, I softly reminded her as she cupped my face in her hands.

It goes by in a blink of the eye, she tearfully confided. She does seem nice.

Yes, she does, I squeezed her hands trying to comfort her. And they are just going steady.

For now, she scowled. Theyre doing their internship together and going to the same Grad school. Bet theyll shack up. Thats what you kids call it isnt it?

Last time I checked, I laughed. Look it is getting late. The kids will be back with dinner soon. I need to go upstairs and give Ginny a hand.

Dont stay up there to long, Mom cautioned me.

I couldnt help snickering at the comment. I let myself into the upstairs apartment and found Ginny looking around the empty space. We have a lot of work to do with this place, she grimly noted.

I cant believe youre staying this time, I whispered in amazement closing the distance between us.

Should have done it a long time ago, she smiled wrapping her arms around my waist. I just never felt like you cared whether or not I stuck around.

Oh I cared. I stressed.

You dont know how many times I planned on coming back for good. There were countless times I just wanted to grab you and shake you hard. Tell you that the way we were avoiding what was so obvious was completely asinine, she tried to explain her voice quivering as she spoke. Once I even tried to set the stage before I came home.

The television, I crinkled my nose snuggling closer to her. What changed your mind?

Im a coward, she whimpered. Meeting that Loretta woman reminded me how little I had to offer you.

All I ever wanted was your heart, I protested my hand gliding up her body. You werent the only one who was afraid.

I still am, she meekly confessed. I meant what I said this morning. I really want to try. Not just being back here and reacquainting myself with the cold and the snow. I want to get to know you again. In a lot of ways we really are strangers.

I never stopped loving you, I finally admitted. It felt so good to say it out loud. I was still terrified all the same. Just being there in her arms felt too good to question. I guess I should have gone with my instincts the way I did all of those years ago. Ginny and I may not reach the end of the rainbow together; but at least this time I was going to try.

I love you too, she vowed dipping her head slightly. Youre my best friend, my family, and the only woman who has ever made me feel like King Kong mounting the Empire State building.

Didnt he die doing that? I squeaked.

Fine bad analogy, Ginny groused. There was another time I almost told you. Remember that time you drove back to Boston and I ended up beating you there?

Yeah, I mumbled.

I still cant figure out how I got there before you, her voice drifted off.

I kept pulling off the highway, I confessed for the first time. I must have started heading back to Cedar Hills at least a dozen times.

Oh, she nodded suddenly understanding why it had taken me so long to reach Boston. That night, Pops egged me into an argument.

What about? I was stunned.

Us, she confessed with a sad smile. The long and short of what happened was he wanted to know if I loved you. And if I did then why in the hell didnt I just say it? I recited the long list of reasons, the biggest being that I had nothing to offer you. He called me a jackass and tossed my sorry butt in the Rambler.

Wait, I sputtered feeling like I had missed something. If you came all that way to ask for another chance then why didnt you?

While I was waiting you got a couple of calls, she quietly admitted. Three calls. All from women who sounded not only surprised that a strange woman was answering your phone, but they also sounded less than pleased to boot. I chickened out.

I wasnt seeing anyone then, I profusely explained. The only women who would have been calling were study mates.

Well none of them sounded like all they wanted was to study with you, Ginny sighed heavily.

The more I learn, I quietly began. The more I realize that you must have thought I was a total slut.

No, she laughed snuggling closer. I just assumed you had moved on. I was pissed at myself since I was the one who kept insisting that you should. Each time I saw some threat to reuniting thats what I did. You know find someone else in an effort to start really living my life. Granted my choices in women were piss poor to say the least.

Oh, you mean Sparrow? I couldnt resist getting a shot in on that one.

Dont hold back, she laughed. If it is any comfort I dumped her the second I got home. She made it real easy by not bothering to pick me up at the airport and making me hitch all the way back. Its not like she didnt have the means to come and get me, we lived in a bus. I grabbed my gear and signed the bus over to her. Ive been crashing at Harmonys ever since. I called Ma right away to let her know that just as soon as I caught up on my studies I was coming back. I tried to call you, but you were always busy.

I was avoiding you, I flinched. I just couldnt handle it if you opted to work things out with Sparrow. Its one thing to have the love of your life get over you. It is quite another to see her settling down with the wrong person.

I know what you mean, she smiled tightening her hold on my body. I see that a bed has been delivered.

They dropped it off this morning, I nervously confirmed. Wow I feel like Ive been hit by a tidal wave. You show up last night and now were bunking together. Not just bunking together but for the first time in forever I know youll be there in the morning.

Im panicking too, Ginny laughed. Hey, if it turns out it is too much too soon one of us can move downstairs after Becky leaves.

Weve shared much smaller accommodations, I pointed out resting my head against her shoulder.

Im looking forward to tonight, Ginnys warm breath tickled my earlobe while her hands began to tug my shirt out of my pants. Her nimble fingers quickly darting beneath my shirt, caressing my flesh. I released a soft moan my eyes focused on her lips. I swallowed hard when the tip of her tongue peeked out and she slowly wet her lips. I had no intention of waiting until bedtime to show her how I felt. I reached up lacing my fingers through her long blonde hair and guided her supple lips closer.

I love you, I confessed before capturing her in a promising kiss.

The tender kiss became slightly heated our hands beginning a sweet exploration until a startled gasp alerted us that we werent alone. Becky? I greeted the frightened looking woman gaping at us from the open doorway.

Dinner is here, she blurted out before dashing down the staircase.

Now when Sam told her I was adopted do you think he went into full detail? Ginny gulped taking me by the hand and leading me towards the door.

Based on the look of horror on her face when she made a mad dash out of here, I groaned. Id have to say no.

We were still holding hands when we entered the downstairs. Oh Scooter? I called out spotting him and his girlfriend in a heated discussion. If Becky didnt look completely terrified the situation would have been hysterical.

What is going on now? Mom demanded planting her hands firmly on her hips. What is it with the two of you? Mom scolded us pointing to the way the hem of my shirt was hanging out. Cant leave you alone for a minute.

Seemed like a good idea at the time, I tried to defend our actions not missing the way poor Becky was clutching her chest.

Sam, Ginny cut in. Did you tell Becky that were not actually related?

Becky, Ginny and I are not sisters, I quickly added in an effort to clear up any confusion.

Youre not? Becky gasped with relief. Thank God.

Im sorry Becky, Sam gushed out. I should have told you. Its just that I think of Ginny as my sister.

I so dont, I sternly asserted.

Im sorry, Becky laughed. Whew. You cant imagine what I thought when I caught the two of you kissing.

Oh, I think I can, I gulped. And its disgusting. Now that is settled why dont we eat?

Unbelievable, Mom continued to grumble under her breath slamming forks down on the table. Not together for two seconds and already …,

Ma! Ginny finally cut her off plopping down on the new sofa. Were you happier when we were swapping spit with other people?

Good Lord, no, Mom wearily conceded. Neither of you has any taste. Talk about a mangy crew the both of you dragged home. Now come sit down and eat before dinner gets cold.

So, Becky enjoying meeting the family so far? I patted the snickering girl on the shoulder.

Sam did say he may be from the burbs but yall are most definitely not the Cleavers, she laughed hysterically. He was right.

Later that evening after the dishes were done, Mom was exhausted. Starting over again had been the hardest on her. She excused herself and retreated to the quiet of her bedroom. I stepped out on the front porch to find Sammy and Becky on the swing. The swing was my idea. Im glad Mom agreed. Although I was hoping to someday enjoy it with a special lady not watching my little brother swaying with his girl.

Hey El, Sammy greeted me wrapping his arm around Beckys shoulders.

Hey little brother, I smiled at the two of them. They looked good together still if she ever hurt him, Id have to kill her. Mom went to bed.

So, you thought youd come out here and scare my poor girlfriend some more? He jested receiving a swift elbow from Becky. I was liking the lass more and more.

It has been fun so far, I laughed leaning against the rail next to them.

You were kissing Ginny, he taunted me in a sing song voice.

Jealous? I couldnt resist rattling his cage.

No, he shivered. Honestly I havent thought about her in that way in really long time.

Thank goodness things are strange enough around here, I quipped.

Ellen and Ginny sitting in a tree. K-I- S-S- I-N- G, he began to chant.

Geez, I cut him off with a snarl. Old enough to shave and you are still a creepy little freak.

I just want to know if this means that the two of you are finally getting back together. His voice was earnest.

Youre not together? Becky tried to catch up. Poor thing. I didnt have the heart to tell her that even our closest friends couldnt get a handle on what was or wasnt happening between us.

Its complicated, I groaned rolling my shoulders.

Whats complicated? Ginny questioned taking a spot next to me. Dont they look cute? She teased Sammy. Again, whats complicated?

Us, I sighed leaning slightly closer to her.

Oh, man thats a freaking trip and a half, Ginny snorted shifting a wee bit closer to me.

Becky was asking, Sammy tried to explain.

Okay, she glanced down at me with a curious look. Readers Digest version?

It might be best, I chuckled. Uhm, we met in high school.

She hit on my sister, Ginny had the gall to lie shocking both Sammy and Becky.

I so did not, I howled slapping her on the shoulder. She hit on me and you know it. Then she lied about it. Big surprise since shes a complete whack job. I think I should take over narrating this saga before you completely tarnish my stellar reputation.

Your what? Ginny laughed and much to my chagrin so did my brother.

Hey, I huffed. Becky, dont listen to either of them. I know for a fact Sammy was dropped on his head as baby.

Because you were the one who dropped me, Sammy growled. Sis I love you. But your reputation took a nose dive sometime after twin cheerleaders, that Swiss airline stewardess and the string of girls you brought home from Smith. Some of which showed up on Mom and Dads doorstep after you dumped them.

What? I squeaked.

Its true, Ginny grimaced. I caught the parade once or twice myself.

Well isnt that just peachy? I blanched. Enough about that. I think we were trying to enlighten Becky as to just how close Ginny and I are. Now, Ginnys twin sister is evil. She hit on me. Convinced Ginny she scored. Which she didnt. I tersely added. Then this bozo thinks shell get a free ride by pretending to be her sister. Lucky shes so gosh darn cute. I took pity on her and went out with her.

I dont think I care for your spin on things, Ginny grunted ruffling my hair. We dated in high school. Not an easy thing to pull off now much less back then. Somehow we managed. Then I went to prison. My family bailed on me and the Druettes kind of adopted me. After I got out Ellen and I sort of drifted in and out of one anothers lives. Thats the whole tragic story in a nutshell.

Kind of skipped over a few details there, I wryly pointed out.

Its the condensed version, Ginny rolled her eyes. Like that crap they called milk in prison.

Sam told me that you were in prison, Becky interjected. He said you got a bum rap.

That I did, Ginny mumbled with a slight sneer. Ive since been exonerated. Thanks to Ellen I have the papers to prove it. So tell us about yourself?

My goodness youre a tuff act to follow but Ill give it a whirl, Becky laughed. I grew up just outside of Detroit. There are six of us. All girls which might explain why my Dad is losing his hair. Ive always had a passion for animals which was hard because where we grew up was very citified. I wanted to work with animals. Always have but I didnt want to be just a Vet. So I went off to college. Where I met this adorable guy. Only thing was for almost four years he never spoke to me.

What an idiot, I couldnt help ragging on Sammy.

Not all of us are smooth with the ladies, he muttered sticking his tongue out at me.

Well one day, Becky continued snuggling closer to Sam. My cousin Davie who honestly isnt the most masculine guy on the block was visiting me and the Frat boys decided to have some fun. It started with the usual taunts, walk like a man and hey fairy. Very clever dont you think? She snarled. Then it just started getting worse. We tried to ignore them and walk away. They started following us. Then they surrounded us. Ive never been so terrified in my life. Then out of the blue Captain Avenger here shows up. She rested her head on Sammys shoulder. For a guy who never spoke it was shocking to hear him screaming for them to shove it and calling them ignorant bigots. I have to be honest between Davie and Sam I wasnt very optimistic. I dont think those no necked dweebs knew what hit them. Davie and Sam just let it rip. Security broke it up. And well I just had to thank Sam for his chivalry. Davie and I insisted on taking our hero out to dinner. Thats when Sam said he didnt care if Davie was gay or not. In fact his sisters were gay. I was smitten from the get go. I told Davie to take a hike. Sam and I walked around campus just talking until the sun came up. I havent let him out my sight since.

Ah, Ginny and I gushed in unison.

Shut up, Sammy bristled. You both suck.

No, we dont, I wiggled my eyebrows just to annoy him.

Gross, Sis, he winced.

Oh this coming from the guy who asked me about sex before his voice changed, I just had to burn him a little more.

Did not, he refused to concede.

Yes, suh! I turned the screws a little harder.

Oh for Christ sake, Ginny pleaded. How old are you going to be on Sunday?

Ancient, I whimpered snuggling against her. I can already hear my bones creaking.

Right, after the party were having you fitted for a walker, Ginny groaned.

What party? No, tell me she isnt throwing me a party? I helplessly pleaded.

Just a little gathering, Ginny placated me. It will be the family plus a couple of friends. Ron, Spencer, Evelyn, Wally and Sandy.

I dont want a party, I whined.

I know, Ginny frowned. It will be good for Ma. A gathering is just the thing she needs to make this place feel like home.

Fine, I yawned.

Time to put the old lady to bed, Ginny mocked me. Goodnight guys.

Goodnight, I threw out. Behave and if you cant dont let Mom catch you.

Ah theres that rapier wit I endured growing up, Sammy sighed.

This coming from a guy who wore a Davy Crockett hat, I laughed taking Ginny by the hand. Becky well show you the pictures tomorrow.

El? Sammy squeaked suddenly frightened.

Night! Ginny called out clasping my hand tightly while dragging me towards the back staircase. Poor Becky, Ginny started giggling once we had made upstairs. Talk about trial by fire. I bet her family is normal.

Ozzie and Harriet we aint, I concurred rifling through my bag to find something to sleep in. Ginny just leaned against the wall watching me. Moms overly spunky unless shes having a hot flash then duck and run. Both Sammys sisters are lesbians but not so much sisters more like bunk buddies. Can you imagine what that poor girl must have been thinking when she walked in us playing tonsil hockey?

Our children are going to be idiots, Ginny wryly countered. Hey about the lava lamp? She wryly began as she locked up.

I love it, I smugly retorted.

Oh? She pursed her lips.

Dont you? I couldnt resist.

No, but I love you, she conceded with a slight scowl.

Its so funky, I whispered in wonderment guiding her towards the bedroom.

The lamp?

No, I laughed wrapping my arms around her slender waist. After all the intimate moments weve shared over the years and were just now saying I love you.

Kind of ass backward, Ginny shook her head. Then again it was never easy with us. And your memory is a tad selective. I told that I love you before last night.

When? I was truly confused by her statement.

The night I found out Pops had died, her tone was blasé still I could see the hurt in her eyes. It slipped out. If that wasnt a sign that I should have walked out on Sparrow I dont know what was.

I remember, I gulped. At the time I had managed to convince myself that you meant it in a sisterly way.

I never thought of you as my sister, Ginny chided me. For starters that would be disgusting. Secondly you forget that my sister is a twisted freak. I hate her so much. I wish I could understand why she did it.

She didnt want to share you, I tried to explain. I could help thinking that deep down Ginny may have hated her sister with a passion, but I still sensed that she wanted to forgive her as well. I honestly believe she set you up fully expecting that youd get another slap on the wrist, youd move to a new town, and Id be history.

Thats ridiculous, Ginny snarled capturing my face in her hands.

No kidding, I wanted to laugh. The pathetic nature of Lauries actions left nothing to laugh about. Enough about Satan. I sternly suggested. We have to come to some agreement on how we want to decorate this place.

Im afraid I wont be able to contribute much until May, Ginny sighed wearily her hands slipping to my shoulders. I was kind of planning on sponging off of Ma until my birthday.

Expecting a lot of household items for your thirtieth birthday, were you? I shook my head feeling like I was missing something.

No, she laughed. A big ass trust fund. Didnt Tyler tell you?

Youre the big trust that is keeping our doors open? I gulped shocked by her revelation.

You didnt know?

Why would I? I sputtered. I told you before it was a financial matter. Ergo none of my business.

Why in the world didnt I just stay with you? She whispered in wonderment.

Maybe because I never asked you, I grimly answered mentally kicking myself for all the years we had squandered.

Or because I never thought I was good enough for you, she growled under her breath.

Is that what you thought? She had said it before and I still couldnt fathom why she would feel that way. For the last time all I ever wanted was your heart. It is what I wanted when we were misguided teenagers. Right now that is the only thing I am asking for. Im not interested in the little wind fall you are about to receive. If you promise to stick around and not hightail it to parts unknown again, I promise not to push you away again.

Ive waited so long to hear you say that, she blew out as if the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. Ive spent the past several years doing some really stupid shit. Self medicating kind of tops the list. I did everything I could to forget about you. Mostly because youd greet me by questioning how long I planned on staying. Kind of made me feel like a guest or a boarder. Just once I wanted you to greet me by saying something like I missed you or dont leave. A long time ago I gave up on wishing that youd want me to stick around.

Happy to disappoint, I smiled up at her. Im just sorry that it took me so freaking long to come to my senses. So, you have a little pin money coming in. Thats groovy. But I dont think we should wait. I have some cash set aside why dont we use it to fix this place up?

Uhm about my pin money, she laughed shaking her head seemingly amazed. My grandfathers set up a trust for the three of us. One million dollars half of which had to sit and collect interest the other half could be invested by the trustees who received a stipend for handling our money. When Nat died his share was divided between Laurie and me. Unless we married we couldnt cash in the trust until our thirtieth birthday. Frankly I never thought that much about it. This was family money and since my family had been such bastards over the past few years I decided that I didnt want their money. Sparrow didnt share my ideals. Turns out unbeknownst to me Daddys lawyers werent doing a bang up job with the trust. Tyler had to arm wrestle it away from them. Once he took over he turned it around. Big time.

So, youre coming into a lot of bread. Cool, I shrugged it off.

Not a lot of bread a ton of bread, Ginny clarified. Were talking about a whole freaking bakery.

Still none of my business, I shrugged once again. If you havent noticed chasing the almighty dollar has never been high on my list. Im more interested in lifes simple pleasures.

Such as? She flashed a devilish smile while moving backward towards the bedroom.

A new mattress, I happily sighed following her lead.

Not just new, Ginny quickly surmised. It is on a real bed. No more free falling.

You never liked my apartment, I scowled.

It was a love hate thing, Ginny confided giggling when she bumped into the bed. I loved you and hated your apartment.

Huh, I grunted my fingers slipping to her waist. I bunched the edges of her black turtle neck between my fingers tugging it from the safe confines of her well-worn jeans. This coming from a woman who has been living in a VW Bus.

I slept outside most of the time, no matter how cold it got, she directly informed me while unbuttoning my jeans. Trust me between the space and Sparrows personality the great outdoors was a welcome blessing. She concluded unzipping the zipper on my jeans.

I slid her sweater up along the supple curves of her body. Why did you stay with her for so long? I couldnt help questioning. Not much of a tan for someone living in California. I noted when her bare stomach was revealed.

I spent most of my time studying and working, she directly informed me raising her arms above her head so I could remove her turtleneck. As for Sparrow we all make mistakes. Granted mine have at times reached epic proportions. She mumbled through her top. I smiled at her messy hairdo after I had freed her from her top. I dropped the unneeded garment on the floor. I could feel her eyes watching me as I raked my blunt nails along her exposed flesh. She captured my wandering fingers; clasping my hands against her chest.

I met her troubled gaze. The feel of her rapidly beating heart filled me with concern. When I first got sprung I really did need to get away, her voice trembled. I lost my youth and I wanted it back. I did some stupid things and made a lot of mistakes. The biggest mistake I made was not accepting that my place was by your side. Somehow I had convinced myself that slipping in and out of your bed was the best thing for the both of us.

How was that for the best? I questioned astonished by her reasoning. I dont know why I was shocked after all it was the same twisted logic I had been clinging to.

In my defense, she uttered softly pressing my trembling hands harder against her chest. You seemed to think it was a good idea. It didnt take me very long to figure out I was being a moron. But like I keep saying I had nothing to offer you. I wanted to get my act together. You were in law school and I was lucky if I could find a job that didnt require me taking my clothes off.

Tell me you didnt, I helplessly pleaded.

Wish I could, she grimly informed me. The pay at strip clubs isnt half bad. I promise all I did was dance. I never went beyond dancing to old Elvis tunes and shaking my goods. Im not proud of what I did. Again how could I ask for your hand? I was a stripper and you were on the way to becoming a legal eagle. Around that time I started smoking a lot of pot. Sometimes it was the only way I could drag myself to work. Then Id get restless or couldnt shake the desire to see you again. Id hit the road with no real destination in mind. I always ended up on your doorstep sometimes landing in your arms sometimes not. The women … The way you talked about the women in your life and the way you treated them left me wondering if we had grown in opposite directions. Each time I left it was with my tail tucked between my legs. I felt like what we had shared had been fleeting. Every time I bolted I vowed I was going to start living my life. Move on as you had so obviously done. You had been my first true love. I just had to accept that our time together had come to an end. Id do alright for awhile. I really pushed myself to be a better person. Then Id end up back here; back in your arms. It always felt right until I realized it wasnt going anywhere. After Pops died I realized that I was totally screwed up. Unless I started being honest with both you and myself Id never have a shot at living my life. There you have it my life in a nutshell. Basically Im a coward.

Join the club, I tearfully confessed kissing her chest, then her neck before claiming her lips in a promising kiss. No wonder my parents kept calling us idiots. I sighed happily resting my head on her shoulder.

I dont know about you but Im tired of being an idiot, she whispered kissing the top of my head. Im also tired of having to be careful when Im making love. You have no idea how many times I said your name. Talk about pissing a woman off.

Been there, I snickered slipping my hands free and circling her waist.

Youve screamed out Ellen during the throes of passion? She quipped as I unsnapped her bra.

Cute, I smiled sliding her bra straps down her arms. No. Lets just say more than one woman has kicked me out of bed while screaming that her name isnt Ginny. I explained feeling mildly embarrassed. You wont be needing this. I concluded tugging her bra out from between us and tossing it across the room. I released a loud yelp when she pushed me down on the bed and straddled my body.

Speaking of which, she taunted me while unbuttoning my blouse. You are seriously overdressed.

Am I now? I purred my hand slipping between her thighs.

I … her words trailed off when I traced the swell of her breasts with my tongue. While she tried to speak I pressed the heel of my hand against her center. She released a sultry moan as I ground my hand against the seam of her jeans. Her hips swaying against my touch while I flicked my tongue against her nipple. The bud hardened against my lips. Ginny hands busied themselves with the task of freeing me from my clothing.

I yielded my touch allowing her to undress me. For the first time since our first time I felt complete. My body squirmed against the plastic that was still covering the mattress. Gross, I couldnt help laughing pushing Ginny slightly away. We need to unwrap the bed.

Id rather unwrap you, she smiled tracing the features of my face with her fingers.

Sheets, blankets, I guided her into a sitting position. I really dont want our reunion to be consummated on plastic.

Good point, she agreed climbing off the bed. I released a whimper at the sight of her half naked body. Oh no you started this where are the linens? She demanded placing her hands firmly on her hips.

Mmm, I sighed not really paying attention to her words.

Ellen? She jarred me out of my musings.

Right, I shook my head trying to focus on the matter at hand. They are … Oh fuck me.

Im trying to, Ginny jested.

Downstairs, I shrank back watching her eyes widen.

Are we cursed? She whined. Since your vital parts are semi covered you can sneak downstairs and fetch the goodies. Ill unwrap the bed.

I jumped off the bed kicking off my shoes while covering my breasts. I made a mad dash downstairs while thinking that it was just like us to have something go wrong. I carefully unlocked the backdoor and slipped inside fully determined to make the journey as quick as possible. Stumbling in the darkness I managed to stub my toe on the new kitchen table. Shit, I hissed under my breath just as the lights clicked on.

Sailors have cleaner mouths than you do, my mother scolded me. Why are you sneaking about?

I need that bag of new sheets and stuff, I pleaded rubbing my injured toe. Please just let me grab the booty and get back upstairs! I silently wailed.

Uh huh, Mom yawned before shuffling over to her new pantry and retrieving the bags of stuff along with a box I had never seen before. Take this too. I got you girls some household stuff.

Mom, I sighed worried that she was spending way too much money on us.

I didnt buy them, she quickly interrupted the concerned look on my face. I cashed in some green stamps.

Thank you, I smiled looking at the box. My arms were already loaded down with sheets, blankets and pillows. Ill get the box in the morning.

You could make two trips, Mom hopefully suggested. Or I can give you a hand.

No, I barked a tad too harshly. Sorry. I quickly apologized. I can get it in the morning. Its late and all of us are tired. I know not hiring a moving company seemed like a good idea.

Hmm, she grunted not buying my feeble explanation. Even at my advanced age I couldnt help breaking out in a sweat. Ellen. She cautiously began pinning with her best mom stare that still makes me shake in my boots. Are the both of you going to stay up there? Together? I could tell by the timber of her voice she wasnt prying. She was hoping. So was I.

Yes, I smiled leaning in and kissing her on the cheek. For now.

Ellen! She exclaimed sounding completely frustrated.

Mom, I cut off any tirade that might be brewing. We are going to try. Really try. We want this.

No kidding, she sighed dramatically. So by trying you mean?

Just that, I couldnt help laughing. I love her.

I know, Mom smiled warmly. For the life of me I could never understand why I was privy to things the two of you really should have been telling one another.

Because we trust you, I tried to explain.

Didnt you trust yourselves? Mom was really irked.

No, I frowned feeling like a disappointment. Trust was severely lacking. Not in each other but in ourselves. You know what the both of us were going through. You also know that if one of us had just gotten off the stick we wouldnt be having this conversation right now. Things would have been put to bed a long time ago. Speaking of which Id like to hit the hay.

Go. Mom shook her head giving a quick kiss before I scampered out the door.

I rushed upstairs the air in my lungs seizing when I entered the dimly lit bedroom. Finding Ginny naked in what was to be our bedroom normally would have sent me into a full fledged panic. Not that night. That night I was eager to begin our new life together. I had waited so very long for that moment.

Are you just going to stand there and watch me? She cooed beckoning me to join her.

Hell no, I blurted out my feet finally moving. I tripped in my zest to reach the bed. We put the new sheets and whatnot on the bed in record time. We had barely finished when I found myself lying flat on my back and my clothing flying off my body. By the way my clothing went sailing across the room I could only assume that Ginny was even more eager than I was. Hard to imagine since I was already bursting at the seams. I felt nervous and giddy all at once. Ginny hovered over me her body nothing short of sheer perfection. Thirteen years and thousands of miles had passed between us and still the woman could take my breath away. Maybe it was her rakish smile or perhaps the smoldering look in her eyes. I still believe it was because the look in her eyes was reserved for me and me alone. It was something we shared, that all knowing feeling that none of the others ever came close to sharing.

Ginnys smile grew bolder. She supported her sinewy body with one arm. Using her free hand she raked her blunt nails slowly down my naked body. My flesh quivered beneath her touch. I love you, I confessed once again. I couldnt refrain from uttering those three simple words again and again. I had held my tongue for thirteen long years. At that moment I was filled with an overwhelming desire to say them at every turn. In the morning Id worry about whether or not I was saying them too often. That night they were the only words I was capable of speaking.

Ginnys knuckles brushed against my nipple. For the first time in ages I felt loved. Her naked flesh covering my body was more than sexual. Everything about that night was about love. The purity of the moment made me feel as if my soul was touching the heavens. Her eyes gleamed in the darkness. Her expression was curious. I keep expecting something to happen, she answered my unspoken question. Given our history things arent usually this perfect. She explained with a lilting laugh.

Before my own laughter could escape I found myself locked in a searing kiss. She was and still is the only one capable of kissing me senseless. Her tongue exploring the warmth of my mouth; her hand gently kneading my breast. Ellie, baby Ive missed you so much, she whispered against my lips. Her nimble fingers teasing and taunting my nipple. She drove me insane. My body was fully ready to explode and she had barely touched me.

I was fully prepared to beg and plead for release. As if reading my mind her touch drifted lower. Her fingers tickling my flesh. A throaty growl escaped me. Her fingers brushed against my wetness. Her smile grew as she teased me. My body trembled eagerly anticipating her touch. Tenderly she parted me; gliding her fingers along my swollen sex. I shifted my body higher. Leaning against our new pillows I watched her. The look on her face was that of pure amazement. Her fingers stroked my throbbing nub slowly coaxing it to harden against her touch. So, beautiful, she whispered lifting her gaze until she held me captive.

She flashed a shy smile before slipping inside of my warmth. Her fingers slowly filling me wiggling inside of me causing my thighs to clench. My eyes drifted shut; my hips lifted higher eagerly greeting her touch. Ginnys slow touch quickly gave way to a frantic rhythm my body matching her wild pace. My senses reeled from the feel of her thumb stroking my aching clit. All too quickly the passion spilled from my body.

I was blushing furiously when I opened my eyes. Embarrassed that I had lost control so quickly. Ginny was sitting there licking my passion from her fingers. All in all she seemed extremely pleased with herself. Im sorry, I timidly uttered.

Why? She furrowed her brow licking the last drop of my passion from her fingers. Ellen, she sounded far too amused by the situation. Still I found her positively enchanting. Over these many years you have inspired the same reaction from me. Most of the time you didnt even have to touch me. All it took was a look or a smile. You really made high school very difficult for me.

Ginny, I laughed along with her. Are you telling me that I got you off in the middle of Home Ec?

Yes, she smirked curling up beside me. In class, during practice and studying in your parents living room. Practice was the worst. Spending all afternoon looking up your skirt was frustrating to say the least. After we started dating it was maddening.

How is it you always know the right thing to say to me? I snuggled against the pillows.

It is easy, she smiled happily. I just repeat whatever my heart says. Or I dont say anything which weve learned only leads to the both of us ending up completely miserable. No, more. Tired?

I uhm, I hedged while she slipped under the covers.

Sokay, she pulled the blankets up around us. Youre not leaving me hanging. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Im not leaving so why rush? Im tired. It has been a long day. Besides it is almost midnight. Just a little while longer and you will officially be an old lady.

You just had to go there, I countered with a mock scowl before stealing a kiss.

That night I said a silent prayer. A birthday wish if you will. This time there wouldnt be any pain. I felt her fingers kneading my back. Guiding me closer until she bestowed a sweet promising kiss on my lips. We kissed, caressed and simply enjoyed the security of knowing that in the morning the other would be there. Never once did the tenderness ebb; falling into the raw unbridled passion that often claimed us. Instead that night was filled with whispered promises and tender touches.

The following morning I awoke with a giddy feeling. We may not have made the Earth move the night before. What we shared into the wee hours was much more intimate. I was smiling even after discovering that I was alone in the bedroom. Then it hit me. My smile suddenly replaced by a crestfallen sadness. I was officially thirty. The big three O. It was horrifying to wake happy as a lark only to remember that you had just crossed the threshold into your third decade of life. Anyone who ever claimed it is just a number was twenty-five tops.

I was ready to jump out of bed, hunt Ginny down and demand that she do everything possible to make me forget the horrors I had awoken to. Thank goodness the hushed whispers streamed in alerting me that barging into the living room demanding wanton sex wearing nothing but my panties just might be a poor choice. I slipped on a t-shirt and climbed out of bed. If my lascivious needs werent going to be met, I fully expected my other needs to be placated. I needed food, coffee, comfort and coffee. Its worth mentioning more than once. I was officially a dirty old lady and was determined to have my every whim placated.

Hi, Mom, I grumbled wiping the sleep from my eyes. I wasnt shocked to find them huddled in the middle of the living room conspiring.

You need new underwear, Mom noted with more than a hint of disapproval.

Good morning Eleanore, Happy Birthday, I pouted.

Im sorry, she laughed at my protruding lip. I was still pouting even after she hugged me tightly. Happy Birthday, Honey. Reminding her wasnt such a hot idea. She hugged me tighter, swaying me. My little girl is thirty.

Dont remind me, I wailed finally escaping her hug. Im old and decrepit. Just take me out and shoot me.

Oh for the love of, God, Ginny groused. Youre only thirty. Youre not ready for the home yet.

Give it a couple of months, I wagged my finger furiously at her. Then youll see. I need coffee. Mom did you brew any coffee?

Ginny is taking you out for breakfast, Mom brightly chimed.

I dont wanna go out, I huffed almost stamping my feet. I just want a cup of java and to climb back into bed. Im planning on hiding in there until I turn forty.

Youre going out for breakfast. While youre out maybe you should pay a visit to Sears and get some new underwear, Mom sternly informed me.

What have you got against my underwear? I fussed lifting my t-shirt up just a little. It wasnt like I knew Id be parading it around for inspection. And I dont want to go out. I just want coffee and more sleep.

You are going out for a nice breakfast, Mom persisted.

Why? I demanded.

Because I said so, Mom she shot me down with a sweet smile.

My mouth opened and shut over a dozen times before I just surrendered. Damn, still works, I bemoaned while storming back into the bedroom.

I was hunched over the table of our little booth. I drank in the tantalizing aroma of my coffee. Why did Mom bully me into coming out? I groaned before finally lifting the steaming mug to my lips. Dont get me wrong, I dig hanging out with you.

Ellen, Ginny grimaced slightly when I lit a cigarette. I wanted to stay in bed too. Cuddling until they dragged us back out into the world. But your guests will be arriving. Mom needs this.

Right the party, I accepted with a groan. I cant imagine what she is going through. Hard enough on us kids. They were one anothers lives. A little cake and ice cream might help her feel more at ease.

Shes already rethinking the new place, Ginny confided in a grim voice. You know Sam sleeping on the sofa bed, leaving that great big kitchen behind. It is going to take some time.

Well be there for her, I offered hoping that it would be enough.

Yes, we will, she smiled clasping my hand. I felt a chill rush through me when her touch quickly retreated. The waitress had approached with our meals. Even in the middle of the sexual revolution two women holding hands just wasnt done.

The more things change, I mumbled playing with the mounds of whip cream that were covering my waffles.

Aint it the truth, Ginny concurred pushing her eggs around.

Ive been involved with N.O.W, I offered quietly confided.

The National Organization of Women, she nodded. Ive been to a few meetings.

Its a great organization, I expanded. When I first got involved my sisters were all like, it is so cool that youre a lawyer. The second they found out that Im gay most of them avoided me.

Same here, Ginny shrugged. I get it. You know this whole labeling feminist as men hating dykes. Not everyone Ive met is hung up on the labels. Over the years I have traveled this great country of ours from sea to shinning sea. And everywhere Ive gone Ive managed to find at least one ignorant, web-toed, cousin marrying Bubba. North, South, East or West doesnt matter it can be wearing a suit and tie and using the right fork but a Bubba is still a Bubba.

I know, irked me just the same, I grunted. Hell, Im a big dyke and most of my friends are guys. No ones asked for my membership card back yet.

There is the other side of the coin, Ginny cautioned. Back in California some of my Sapphic Sisters threw a clot if you spoke to a guy. I thought we were supposed to be about love and peace. It freaks me when I find more dissention coming from within than from the man. Oh before I forget, she put her fork down and reached inside her coat. Its not much, but happy birthday, Ellen.

Having you home for good is more than present enough. But Ill keep this, I laughed snatching the brightly wrapped box from her hand. I opened it carefully not wanting to tear the edges of the paper.

Just open it. She pleaded reaching for the gift.

Stop, I wailed like a child; swatting her hands away. Oh, Ginny. I gushed when the delicate binding was revealed to me. Little Women. I loved this book when I was a kid. Ginny this is a first edition. Its too much.

Dont you like it? She questioned with a coy smile.

I love it, I gently traced the cover with my fingertips.

Then how can it be too much? She challenged. Ellen, no matter what has or will happen you mean the world to me. Granted bread is a little tight at moment but as you know in a couple months Ill be rolling in it.

Kind of forgot, I murmured sipping my coffee.

Just stick with me Babe and well be set for life, she announced doing a very bad Jimmy Cagney impersonation. My hand froze while my lungs seized.

Dont call me that, I gulped setting my coffee aside unable to look at her. I knew she couldnt help sounding like Laurie and she had no idea why that particular expression would upset me. Knowing these things did nothing to calm me.

Call you what? She sputtered clearly confused.

Babe, I choked on the word. Dont call me that. Ever.

I wont, she vowed as I sheepishly met her gaze. Can I ask why? She timidly added.

She called me that, I nervously uttered gulping once again. Your sister … That night in the woods … The more I resisted the more she tried to convince me and she kept calling me Babe. It just brings back bad memories.

Ill never do it again, she stressed covering my trembling hand with her own. Why do I think there is a lot about that night and other things having to do with her that you havent told me?

Because there is, I grimly acknowledged lacing our fingers together. Like how you seem surprised that she was violent with those two girls.

I still dont believe she was, Ginny huffed with a scowl. That isnt her style. Shes a bitch, Ill give you that but she isnt violent.

Yes, she is, I fought against the tears that were threatening to escape.

What did she do? Ginny hissed between her teeth, clasping my hand tighter. I just sat there unable to tell her. Ellen? She prompted me.

I saw the pictures, I tried to explain. I talked to those girls. She did get rough with them. She did it to get you in serious trouble.

Ellen? She repeated more forcibly. What arent you telling me?

She got physical with me, I squeaked out the words instantly regretting them. Ginnys eyes darkened with anger. In high school when she was trying to make trouble for us. She came onto me in the ladies room at school. When I refused she clutched my arms so tightly that she left bruises. At the time I shook it off. But it has stayed with me. Ginny she scared the life out of me.

It was right after our first date wasnt it? Ginny demanded. I could see her fighting against the anger. I saw the bruises. Hell I was ready to kick Rons ass. Laurie did that to you? Why didnt you tell me?

I had caused enough trouble between the two of you, I wearily explained. Im not proud of what I did about it. I blackmailed her. Told her that if she didnt back off Id tell you. Not that I was going to. But I threatened to. Like I said Im not proud of it.

You should have told me, she seemed to be calming down. Hell I was your girlfriend I had a right to know. I swear if I see her again,

And thats why I didnt tell you.

Okay this conversation is getting way to grody, she was still fuming I could tell. It is your birthday and I promised Ma to take you shopping for lingerie.

Lingerie? My mother said lingerie? I dont think so, I happily snickered.

No she said get her some decent skivvies, Ginny boldly concluded waving for the check. I thought lingerie would be more fun.

From Sears & Roebuck? I hardly think so, I couldnt stop the laughter.

Yes, that would be highly unlikely, Ginny was still smirking. There are other places to purchase intimate apparel. She gleefully concluded as she paid the grim looking waitress.

You know what I find interesting, I slowly began gathering up my coat and the book. You havent lived on this side of the continent in what a decade?

More or less, she shrugged placing her hand on the small of my back while guiding me towards the door.

I am willing to bet that you know exactly where to go to buy naughty panties, I concluded.

Youd win, she laughed. Come on birthday girl lets take you shopping.

A couple of hours later we snuck upstairs to our apartment so I could try on my new gifties. It was a little awkward knowing that just below us, our friends had gathered for my party. Ginnys smoldering gaze and urgent tone convinced me to give her a little preview. I knew we were tempting fate. I didnt give a hoot. The black silk teddy felt amazing against my skin. Even more incredible was the feel of Ginnys arms wrapped around my body while she nibbled on my neck. Our rapture was short lived. The knock on the front door was annoying but not surprising. Thank goodness Mom opted to send Sammy upstairs.

I quickly threw on appropriate attire while Ginny answered the door. That was fast, Ginny offered with a tender smile when I joined them.

I move quick, I shrugged.

Ginny placed her hand on the small of my back guiding me downstairs. Her step suddenly faltered. My God youre still wearing it, she whispered hotly in my ear.

Of course, I smugly retorted. And only you and I know.

Youre killing me, she squeaked caressing my back.

Just remember those words, I wryly informed her. If all goes well in just a couple of hours, youll be screaming it.

Poor Ginny almost toppled down the staircase. Needless to say I was more than a little pleased with myself. Somehow I managed to act surprised when I entered the downstairs apartment. Which surprised even me. Mostly because my mind was squarely focused on finishing the fashion show Ginny and I had begun. Alas duty called. My mother needed this party.

Personally being in a room full of people who are taking great joy in reminding you just how old you are isnt something I enjoy. The other thrilling aspect of the day was the way everyone of my friends felt a need to pull me aside. They all asked the same question. How long is Ginny staying this time? Imagine their surprise when I told them she was staying this time. After hearing the question over and over again, I had to wonder just why Ginny hadnt clocked me years ago? It is really annoying after the first couple of times.

The party was in full swing. Mom really seemed to be getting into it. I was relaxing on the sofa with Spencer when Linda sat down beside me. So? She tentatively began.

Yes, I asked her, I groaned weary of the constant questioning. Yes, shes staying. In fact she was already planning on it. For once we got our timing right. If you ask me how it makes me feel Im gonna hurt you.

Spencer snickered at my curt commentary. Suddenly the tea cup and saucer that was resting on her tummy jiggled. What the hell was that? I exclaimed.

The baby, she beamed her smile vanishing when Evelyn suddenly excused herself. Hes started doing party tricks the other day.

Get use to it, Mom smiled. Whenever I took a bath, Id end up chasing Eleanors feet around. Time for cake.

Get the fire extinguisher, Sammy announced much to my displeasure.

I really should have traded him for that sling shot Bobby offered me, I growled. But no, Mom wouldnt let me.

Sling shots are dangerous, Mom interjected without missing a beat.

Just then Ginny emerged from the kitchen with a blazing inferno. Everyone broke out in song while I wondered if it was really necessary to put thirty candles on our dessert. I did feel mildly triumphant when I blew out all of the flaming little suckers in one breath. Had I known then just how special my thirties would be I would have embraced the celebration. I wasnt a complete wet blanket. My life was truly coming together. After spending far too much time just wandering through I was living. The best part was a certain blonde. We had cake and I opened my gifts. Most of the gifts were gags that ranked on my advanced years. It was all in fun. Plus I knew that in just a short while I would be returning the favor.

Finally the party broke up. I had fun but I was really happy to see Evelyn and Wally leave. I understood it must have been hard on them seeing Spencer and Ron so happy. My only hope was that they would be equally as blessed in the near future. Once the last of my friends shuffled out the door, I went searching for Ginny. I felt a little crestfallen when I found her in the kitchen cleaning up with Mom.

It is no big deal, Ginny explained while wiping the dishes. Ill be home both days. I dont start school until the fall. My schedule is pretty wide open. What I dont understand is why they cant install the phones in both apartments on the same day.

Get in line on that one, Mom grunted. They wont schedule the upstairs and downstairs for the same appointment. What can we do it isnt like we have a choice. Theyre the phone company. It is Ma Bells way or the highway.

The government should bust up that monopoly, Ginny surmised finishing the last of the dishes.

Thatll never happen, Mom laughed it off. We believed her of course not having the foresight to see the inevitable break up. Then again Mom was the same person who claimed that Cher was nothing more than a flash in the pan. At times she could really miss the mark. Not that I was concerned about either topic at the moment. I was focused on one thing. I was itching to get Ginny upstairs so we could really celebrate my birthday. I had so many wishes that needed to be addressed. Most of which involved nudity.

Thanks for the party Mom, I threw out in an effort to get the ball rolling.

Thank you for putting up with it, Mom gave me a knowing smile. Even if it wasnt really a surprise.

I … Uhm, I babbled like an idiot.

Eleanore, she shook her head placing her hands tenderly on my shoulders. Thank you. Now get out of here the both of you. Im sure you have plans. No need to share the details. She added with a slight cringe.

Thanks Ma, Ginny quickly blurted out. She grasped my hand and dragged me out the back door.

Should have grabbed the coffee maker she got with the green stamps, I giggled while she practically dragged me up the back staircase.

Well deal in the morning, Ginny chided me. You have to work tomorrow and were burning daylight. Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep my hands off of you? Walking around the party knowing that youre wearing naughty underwear, I was a complete mess.

My birthday. My rules, I couldnt help taunting her.

Yes, it is your birthday, she drew out the words while banging open our backdoor. Which means spankies.

Ahgug, I gasped blushing furiously. I know it isnt a word but it was what spewed out of me. My eyes glazed over. I started to sweat and I was tingling in the most delightful places. I was so enthralled by her randy suggestion that I was completely unaware that she had ushered me into the bedroom. Not only had she whisked me onto the bed but my clothing was quickly flying off my body.

You look so hot in that, she proclaimed after reducing me to only the teddy. Her hands were everywhere.

Not so fast, I scolded her clasping her wrists tightly. My birthday. My rules. I repeated with a sultry purr. You. Naked. Bed. I commanded not in the mood to mince words.

Your wish is my command, Ginny gleefully acknowledged taking a step backward.

I leaned on my elbows and watched her perform a striptease. All the while she hummed Happy Birthday. With each sway of her hips my heart sped up. By the time she hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her panties I was a goner. With a devilish gleam in her eyes she flung her underwear at me. Is there anything else you desire? Her voice reverberated through my body. Cat got your tongue? She toyed with me seemingly amused that I had been suddenly struck mute. In an effort to further torment me she climbed up on the bed; straddling my body. I might have regained the power of speech if she hadnt wiggled her pelvis against me. The torture continued. She ran her fingers through her long blonde hair lifting her golden mane up. The action caused her breasts to thrust in my face.

Ah what to do? I silently questioned. For the first time in my life I had the answer. It was simple. Wrap my arms around her waist and bury my face against her ample bosom. It was the right answer. That night our passion volleyed between unbridled and slow tenderness. In the morning I was walking a little funny while I cursed the fact that my chosen profession required me showing up on time. After a long shower I dressed and kissed my lover goodbye. It was one of those times you realize it really is the first day of the rest of your life.

When I arrived at the office I was inundated with birthday wishes, good natured ribbing regarding my advanced years and, of course, Ron wanting to know what the deal was with Ginny and I. Thankfully I was slated to appear in court and escaped all of this. Eleanore Druette for the defense, I announced when my case was announced. Grinning like a Cheshire cat when my opponent turned out to be none other then Loretta. What is it they say about living well being the best revenge? It is the truth. I looked over at opposing council and for the first time I noticed that despite the slim number of years that separated us, Loretta looked so much older than me. It was her haggard withdrawn appearance that made me question if it was her dissatisfaction with the lot life had handed her that made her look so weary?

My client pleads not guilty your honor, I asserted after the charges had been read. My skin prickled slightly. I couldnt help smiling. I didnt need to turn around to know that Ginny was there.

The people request remand, Loretta curtly requested.

It wasnt uncommon for the DA to request having my client locked up for trial. Usually there was a reason for it. This time around I wasnt positive that my client understood what he did was illegal. Stanley Hanford by profession was an accountant. The work he did for his small firm amounted to little more than a glorified paper shuffler. The poor slob was a peon who was more than likely taking the fall for some big mucky muck who had dipped into the till. Your Honor, I spat out seriously disturbed by her outrageous request. Mr. Hanford has no prior record. He has roots in the community and no financial means of fleeing. He is looking forward to proving his innocence. He is not a flight risk. I respectfully request he be released on his own recognizance. I triumphantly concluded.

What does that mean? My client nervously gulped.

She wants you locked up to ensure youll show up for trial, I whispered to him while Loretta spewed out her argument that poor old Stanley be locked up for the duration.

Why? He nervously squeaked.

Ssh, I cautioned him. Your honor Mr. Hanford barely understands why he was arrested. Again he is eager to prove his innocence. He has a wife and five children. Despite the Peoples strenuous objections he isnt going anywhere. Hes innocent and doesnt have a secret stash of money.

Miss Marino I am inclined to agree with Miss Druette, Judge Proctor sighed. Mr. Hanfords lack of a record and his modest income doesnt lead me to believe that he is a flight risk. Jail seems a bit harsh for the charges he is facing. The court would be more than satisfied with five hundred dollars bail.

Your Honor, Loretta groused.

Five hundred, cash or bond, Proctor snapped slamming down his gavel stressing his decision.

Five hundred? Stanley squeaked in horror.

Dont worry, I comforted him placing my hand on his shoulder. The bail bondsman will cover it. Ill explain it to you while we make the arrangements. I dont know if my words provided any comfort for him. I smiled as I guided him out of the courtroom. Ginny was sitting in the back grinning proudly. I held up my hand letting her know that I needed a moment. It took sometime to finalize the paperwork, mostly because Stanley was spazzing like a little girl. Once it was finished I sent him and his family on their way. Ginny was waiting in the hallway. Just a sec, I quickly informed her before darting after Loretta. Miss Marino. I growled as I confronted her. Someone pee in your Corn Flakes this morning?

I beg your pardon Miss Druette, she sniffed indignantly.

Loretta did you see his suit? I snarled my ire getting the better of me. Somehow I managed to keep my voice down. It was his best suit and it couldnt have cost more than twenty bucks. I spent more than that on my shoes. Remand? For penny pinching, which he didnt do by the way. What gives?

Miss Druette once again you fail to see the bigger picture, she snarled looking over my shoulder the whole time. Embezzlement is a very serious offense.

No kidding? I hadnt realized thank you for enlightening me, I couldnt help being snotty. Hes innocent and even if he was guilty as sin the dollar amount certainly doesnt qualify for such harsh treatment. And stop looking at her; Im the one who is talking to you.

I could care less that your little transient friend dropped in for one of her little visits.

Not really. Were living together, I know it was wrong to gloat. There was this tiny part of me that really enjoyed rubbing it in.

I didnt know, she gulped clearly stunned by my news.

Of course not, I shook my head thoroughly disgusted with her. If you have an axe to grind dont take it out on my clients.

Im not being vindictive, she tried to argue.

Uh huh. I groaned before excusing myself.

She doesnt like me does she? Ginny wryly remarked when I joined her.

Or me, I quickly stated. Man, I thought the two of us had issues. That girl makes us look like rank amateurs. What are you doing here? No offense but I would have thought that the courthouse would be the last place youd show up.

I wanted to see my girl in action, she boasted. Youre good. And you like what you do. Not many people can say that. Free for lunch?

Possibly, I couldnt help smiling. I just need to swing by the office and check on some stuff.

During the short trek to my office I couldnt shake the sinking feeling that Loretta was up to something. There was more I just knew it. For the life of me I couldnt figure out what it was. I wasnt surprised by the odd look in my co-workers eyes when we entered the bustling office. I assumed it was because Ginny was with me. Or just perhaps it had something to do with the unsettling feeling swirling in my stomach. I would quickly learn that it was indeed the latter. Gary had a strange look plastered on his face as he hurried over to me.

Virginia always a pleasure, he politely greeted Ginny. Ellen if you dont mind, I need a moment of your time.

No prob, Ginny shrugged. I have to go over some stuff with Tyson.

Ron joined us just as Ginny excused herself. Oh this is good, I intuitively deducted. Shall I guess or are you planning on sparing me the agony?

We have a potential client waiting in the conference room, Gary slowly began. Were not taking her case. I just thought you would enjoy being the one to tell her.

Youre gonna love it, Ron coyly informed me.

Who is it?

Laura Bradford. Gary tripped over his words.

Shes in it deep, Ron quickly cut in. Want to see the file or are you just going to tell her to fold it in three corners and shove it?

Shes here? I gulped my hands trembling as I accepted the slim file.

In the conference room, Gary repeated his tone boarding on fatherly. She specifically requested that you handle her case. The second I realized who she was I started stalling her. I figured it was the least I could do. Let you be the one to tell her off.

Her father is with her. Ron cautioned.

First things first, I tentatively began my mind whirling from the situation. My foremost concern was that Ginny and her family not cross paths. Not out of concern for the Swenson clan. I was just worried about Ginny. Ron, you need to make certain that Ginny stays out of the way until they are gone. Gary you keep the lunatics twisting in the wind. I need to glance over the file. Im dying to know what little Laurie did this time. Go boys! We have to nip this in the bud. Trust me if Ginny sees her family well have a whole new case on our hands.

To their credit my colleagues scurried into action. I ducked into my office not even bothering to remove my coat. In my heart of hearts I knew it was only a matter of time before Laurie screwed up again. She was indeed in serious trouble. It wasnt hard to connect the pieces. Laurie was accused of providing alcohol and other substances to a minor and making unnatural advances. The alleged victim was the family babysitter, Denise Turner. I could only assume that Denise had a thing for Lauries husband. Laurie in her infinite wisdom decided to handle the problem the only way she knew how. She got the girl drunk and made a pass hoping to scare the girl off. Naturally it blew up in her face.

I shrugged off my coat and snatched up the file. Shes still in with Tyson, Ron quickly explained. I buzzed him and asked him to drag things out.

Thanks, I nodded. Im getting Laurie out of here as quickly as possible.

I stumbled when I entered the conference room. The years had not been kind to Laurie. It was painfully clear that Lauries love affair with rum was still on going. Her face and body were slightly bloated and the look in her eyes was dull and lifeless. I took a seat across from Laurie and old man Swenson. I felt this was my only chance to say what needed to be said. Sorry to keep you waiting, I apologized with a scowl. I was in court. I can only assume your reasons for coming here have nothing to do with my skills. Still the clever girl Laurie.

Whatever do you mean? She dryly responded with a cruel smile.

By coming here under the pretense of hiring this firm, youve effectively ensured that neither I nor anyone here could be called to testify against you. I shrewdly surmised. I wasnt an idiot. Neither was Laurie. She must have known Id never take the case. Hell a blind goat herder in East Bum Fuck would know Id never take her on as a client. Perhaps it was because I think my father was right. Laurie was Satan. She was there for one reason and one reason only. I had a lot of dirt on her stored in a file. By approaching the firm that information would stay buried. Everything from 1956 stays locked away. I spelled out for Mr. Swensons benefit. The sorry bastard was completely clueless.

1956? He repeated narrowing his gaze.

You know, back when you screwed your other daughter over, I egged him on. No way I was going to let her get a pass on that little transgression.

You dont know what you are talking about. He barked pushing back his chair.

Stop, Laurie halted his retreat. Miss Druette obviously has something to say. We should at least listen. Man she looked so smug. I still have no idea what she was hoping to accomplish.

He doesnt know? I scoffed at the notion. Mr. Swenson tell me you didnt know Laurie was the one who assaulted those women? He didnt answer. Instead he just slumped in his chair.

My sister was a troubled young woman, Laurie tried baiting me.

Horse pucky, I laughed. I have a very thick file locked in a very safe place that proves it was you. How do you think I managed to exonerate Ginny? Hell I told you as much at Bobbys wake.

What? Warren Swenson stammered. Virginia has been cleared?

My God man, Gary cut in. Do you never pull your head out of your ass?

What is with these people? Warren frantically questioned his daughter. The cursing and they are obliviously a bunch of hippies. This is the firm you want?

Of course not Daddy, Laurie rolled her eyes. As Miss Druette stated she has information that Id prefer to keep close to the vest as it were. Since Ive offered them a retainer they arent allowed to discuss certain things with the authorities. Still Ellen does have a stellar reputation and a habit of winning. Pity shed never take my case. How is my sister?

Better than ever, I curtly informed the grinning freak. No thanks to you.

You know my daughter? Warren blurted out pushing slightly away from Laurie.

Uhm, yes, I shook my head wondering just how clueless this man was? I went to high school with Ginny. I was her alibi back in 56. I continued when he continued to stare blankly back at me.

She really went to Vermont, he absently whispered. I wanted to believe her.

Then why didnt you? I couldnt refrain from demanding. You tossed her to the wolves. Listening to some lawyer rather than believing her. Just so were clear on everything. Yes, she was in Vermont. I was with her. My parents never asked for money. That was DeMarco blowing smoke up your ass. So, he could keep climbing up the food chain. Almost three years ago, Mr. Larsen and I cleared her name. In doing so we proved that it was Laura who committed the criminal acts. Ginnys fine by the way, thanks for asking.

You were the one, he slowly began with a hint of a smile. She gave you her car.

Still have it, I boasted.

Oh get off your high horse, Laurie whined. Dont act so smug. From what I hear you only see her now and then. She blows into town with a quickie and takes off.

Guess again you fruitcake, I gloated for the second time that day. We live together.

Bullshit. Laurie scoffed. My sister …

Yes, she is, I shouted. She always was. Im done playing with you. I just wanted to sit here and tell you face to face that everything you did failed. All your plotting and rash actions failed. Were still in love with one another and most importantly we ended up together. I have only one question left to ask. Honestly I had about a million more but I was tired of dealing with Laurie. Did you hit on the babysitter because Jessup is sleeping with her or does the girl simply have a crush on him?

Were done. Laurie screamed shoving her chair back and grabbing her stunned father by the arm.

Get your checkbook ready Mr. Swenson Denise Turner isnt going to just go away, I cautioned him. Knowing Laurie this wont be the last trip to the bank. I ruefully added just as Ron entered the room with a worried look.

Out of my way! Laurie demanded.

Uhm, Ron stammered. Are you finished? He pleaded with me.

No, I gulped understanding his fearful look.

Yes. Laurie hissed pushing Ron aside.

I cursed under my breath while bolting out of my chair. I raced after them hoping to at least be able to intervene. I made it as far as the hallway when I spied the scene that was just beginning to unfold in the lobby. You. Ginnys nostrils flared. I rushed over to block her path. In the back of my mind I was curious as to why Loretta and two police officers were lingering in the waiting area.

Ginny, dont, I pleaded with her placing my hands on her chest. I could see it was taking everything she had to comply with my request. Yet, I couldnt help questioning why I was stopping her. I cast a questioning look over towards Loretta.

Officers would you step outside for a moment? Loretta quietly requested giving me her consent.

What the hell, I conceded. Ginny certainly deserved her pound of flesh. Go for it.

Come here? Ginny demanded pushing past her father and grabbing her sister by the hair.

No one made a move to stop her, not even her father. Loretta simply turned away. What? I dont see a thing, Loretta innocently quipped. By the by you arent Mrs. Bradfords attorney are you? She questioned still ignoring the sight of Ginny capturing Laurie in a headlock.

No, I wistfully offered. Although she did approach the firm. Which means you cant call me as a witness like you were planning. You were werent you?

Yes, she reluctantly admitted.

I knew you were up to something, I glanced over watching as Ginny tightened her arm around Lauries throat. Curious that you arent doing anything to stop this. I addressed Warren Swenson.

I should, he pursed his lips. I made so many mistakes.

Break it up, Spencer announced when she entered through the front door. The police officers followed closely behind her. Ginny who in the hell are you trying to kill? Spencer demanded.

Her sister. Ron glibly informed his wife.

Oh? Spencer nodded pausing for just a moment. She had to be thinking what the rest of us were. Laurie had it coming in spades.

Henrietta were supposing to be arresting her, one of the officers stated. The poor cops were confused by the bizarre scene.

Which one?

Not sure, the officer grumbled.

The one thats losing, Loretta finally spoke up holding up the arrest warrant.

Good deal, Spencer beamed. Just curious as to why youre putting that off?

We can start with ruining my life, Ginny growled.

True. Spencer seemed to be thinking things over.

Henrietta. The cop sputtered. Were gonna have to arrest both of them.

Virginia, Spencer finally interjected. Please let her go so these nice officers can take her to jail?

Fine, Ginny spat out shoving Laurie at the stunned cops. Enjoy prison Sis. No one deserves it more.

What about her? The officer questioned glancing over at Ginny while slapping the cuffs on Laurie.

Ouch. Laurie wailed.

I mean she assaulted this one, he continued ignoring Lauries pathetic whimpering.

I didnt see anything, Loretta sternly interjected.

Frank you remember that thing I was working on a few years ago, Spencer stated in a hushed whisper. Twins with matching Chevys

Oh, he nodded understanding what she was inferring. Gotcha. Nothing to see here.

Thanks boys. Spencer blew out.

Loretta followed after the uniformed officers who were rushing Laurie to the waiting cruiser. Virginia? Warren Spencer tearfully began.

Go to hell. Ginny hissed turning away from him.

I almost felt bad for him. Almost that is. I still couldnt forgive him for what he had done so many years ago. And in many ways was still doing by standing by Laurie. His shoulders slumped and he left. Ronald, Spencer broke the uneasy silence that followed Mr. Swensons departure. Feed me. She demanded patting her stomach.

Yes, dear, he eagerly complied.

Ginny, I tenderly offered wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my chin against her back. I tightened my hold on her when she stiffened against my touch. Gary?

Ill clear your calendar for the day, Gary quickly offered. Go.

Come on Honey. Im taking you home, I stated softly. She simply nodded and blindly followed after me.

When we arrived back home I had no idea what I should do. Was this one of those moments I should just hold her? Or did she need space? I took one look in her troubled eyes and I had my answer. We stood in our empty living room. I held her as she cried herself out. Poor Ginny there was so much pain. We ended up sitting in corner. I cradled her in my arms. Offering her the comfort of my embrace as she finally released the anguish that had plagued her for the last thirteen years.

We went on with our lives. We reveled in what was to be later known as the summer of love. For us it was. We lived, laughed and that summer we saw man walking on the moon. I can still remember Mom, Ginny and I crowded around that television Ginny had bought years ago watching Neil Armstrongs grainy black and white image.

Looking back Id have to say that 1969 was my favorite year. Man walked on the moon. The Beatles were still together. Elvis was still skinny. We only had five television stations but there was always something worth watching on. The world changed before our eyes and somehow was still innocent. We could still hop in the Chevy and drive all day without having to take out a loan to fill the gas tank. Most importantly that was the year I finally stopped being afraid and asked for Ginnys hand.

EPILOGUE

I know what you are hoping for. You want to hear that Ginny and I lived happily ever after and Laurie got what she deserved. Ginny and I did live happily ever after. Four decades after we shared our first kiss we have endured. Sharing every joy and heartache that makes a marriage. A few years ago we stood before our family, extended and otherwise and we made our union legal. Im still a lawyer.

The little firm we started back in 1966 is not so little anymore. That doesnt mean we stopped fighting for the little guy. Not knowing what she wanted to be when she grew up, Ginny spent several years as a professional student. Donating her time as a tutor for Framinghams Womens Correctional facility. Later she turned her brilliant mind to teaching closer to home at the local college. She would have done it sooner but for many years she was worried that her past and sexuality would come to light and her teaching career would be over.

Laurie never got her due. After a receiving a sizable check from the Brinkman Corp. Denise Turner suddenly changed her story. Jessup Bradford on the other hand was shocked by his wifes actions and immediately filed for divorce. Dissolving their marriage took forever. Laurie wanted him to stay and he wanted his children kept away from her. I honestly couldnt blame the man. Jessup finally got what he wanted. He did allow Laurie to visit with her sons. Jessup turned out to be a decent guy. He even made certain that Ginny got to know her nephews. The boys became a part of our family.

Laurie was furious and did everything she could to make Jessup pay. She also tried to turn her sons against their father. Thank goodness the boys were bright enough to figure things out. A few years after the divorce was final I helped Jessup take out a restraining order. It was the only time in my life I found myself performing such an action against a woman. Jessup was out of options. Laurie refused to let go. Her fanatical behavior turned violent. Which didnt surprise me one bit.

Over the years her drinking problem became an addiction. Late one night in the summer of 1983 Ginny woke up in a cold sweat screaming. The next day we got the call, Laurie had died in a car accident. Her blood alcohol was almost three times the legal limit. The real tragedy was that Dwights four year old son was with her at the time. Laurie was selfish right to the end. Not only did her life end in tragedy she compiled it by taking her grandsons life. Ginny had always kept a small part of her heart open for her sister. Hoping that one day they would find peace and forgiveness. The day we buried little Riley Ginny knew she would never find it in her heart to forgive Laurie.

I never understood Laurie. If just once she accepted that things dont always go your way so many things would have been different. Instead she chose to leave tragedy in her wake. Long before Lauries death even her own father had turned against her. After that day in my office Warren Swenson did everything he could to make peace with Ginny. I give my wife credit, she forgave him. I dont know if I could ever be that magnanimous. Granted they were never close. For Ginny her parents were Doris and Sam Druette. Nice folks if you ask me. Incase you are wondering we still live upstairs from Mom. The only rift has been recent. Mom still thinks she can tool around in the Chevy no matter how many times we try to explain to her it probably isnt a good idea since she can no longer see over the dashboard.

Mark Danes disappeared before he died of an overdose at the tender age of thirty-two. Margie never remarried instead she opted to a become a bitter old woman long before her time. Her oldest son Mark turned out okay. Hes a lawyer in fact he works at my firm.

Loretta Marino after years of frustration finally quit the DAs office and dropped out of sight. I ran into her once in the late seventies. She no longer practiced law. In fact she wasnt really doing anything except enjoying finally being out of the closet. It took her long enough, but I have to say for the first time in her life she really seemed happy. I lost touch with her after that.

Sandy, after her troubled childhood, is still clean and sober. She married that doctor she was dating back in 69. They adopted two children. Sandy decided not only to learn from her mistakes but to try and help others from following the same path. She works as a substance abuse counselor in the city.

Sadly Evelyn and Wally didnt have a happy ending. They were never blessed with children. By the time they started talking about adopting the strain had already taken its toll on their marriage. I still wonder if they could have made it if Evelyn had taken the advice she had offered to me time and time again. Even though each has remarried I get the feeling that they are still in love with the other.

Linda is doing great. She emerged from the turmoil of the sixties stronger. She is a proud woman who up until her retirement last year was one of the best shrinks around. She and her lover are spending their golden years traveling to all the places theyve been talking about visiting for the last thirty years.

Ron and Spencer are not only still together but still madly in love with the other. They raised five kids and now have twelve, count them twelve, grandkids. OKeefe gang either work for Spencer at her very successful Private Investigator firm or at our law firm. Each and everyone is happy and healthy. A rare event these days.

My kid brother, believe it or not, became a world renowned zoologist. So is his wife Becky. I knew from the get go she was a keeper. Theyve traveled the world usually with their three children in tow. Sam, Virginia and Harvey loved growing up the way they did and not a one of them followed in their parents footsteps. Harvey became a forensic investigator in New York. Sam the third runs his grandmothers bustling real estate business here in town and Virginia like her namesake is a teacher in San Francisco. Hard to believe that not only did my creepy brother grow up to be a man that his father would be proud of, he is a great dad. Oh and a terrific granddad as well.

1969 was your favorite year? Ginny questions from behind me.

Stop looking over my shoulder, I chastise her.

What about the year the Red Sox won the world series? She teases me.

Very romantic Sweetheart, I laugh while I keep typing. Weve been in love with one another for fifty years and you think the high point is the Sox finally breaking the curse. Weve seen so many things over the passing decades. Think about it; when we first moved in to this place you had to wait around for the phone installer. Just tonight at dinner our waiters pants started ringing.

It was rather rude of him to take that call, Ginny grimaces. Why not 1955 the year we met? Or 1956? When we kissed for the first time. Made love for the first time.

Because 1969 was the year we finally got our act together, I try to explain to her. Have you finished packing?

Yes, she nods dutifully. I still cant believe my father left me the cabin in Vermont. Pissed my mother off big time.

Which makes it all that much more enjoyable, I cant help grinning. Ginnys mother is still the same. Youd think fifty years would chill her out. Sad to say it hasnt. Log off the computer Ellen. We have a long drive tomorrow.

Yes, Dear, I smirk. In the morning were driving the Chevy up to that little cabin in Vermont. Im excited.

Neither of us has seen the cabin since that trip way back when. Plus a weekend away together is just what we need. I have a little confession. Fifty years may have come and gone but the passion burns just as bright. Every time I am around my lover I still feel like that nervous school girl standing under an oak tree waiting for her to kiss me. Weve lived through the best, the worst and the absurd. Every morning I wake up knowing the best has yet to come. The next fifty years should be interesting.

THE END

*****

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