HIGH HOPES FARM
BY MAREE KENNEALLY

Copyright © 2011 by Maree Kenneally

Cover design by Maree Kenneally
Book design by Maree Kenneally

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author.

Although the towns mentioned in this book are real towns located in Victoria, all characters are purely works of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All references to real places and events (eg. The Merrijig Rodeo) are dramatised for the purposes of fiction and mean no disrespect to any person or company.

MareeKenneally
Highhopesbooks@hotmail.com

Written in Australia, 2011.

 Dedicated to my family and friends, who have never stopped believing in me. I love you all.

CHAPTERS

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

ELEVEN

TWELVE

THIRTEEN

FOURTEEN

FIFTEEN

SIXTEEN

SEVENTEEN

EIGHTEEN

NINETEEN

TWENTY

TWENTY ONE

TWENTY TWO

TWENTY THREE

TWENTY FOUR

TWENTY FIVE

TWENTY SIX

TWENTY SEVEN

TWENTY EIGHT

ONE

INTRO

It was late in the evening after a long Friday at the office when Jessica Cooper pulled up her tiny 2 door car outside her house. She could faintly see the lounge-room light on and sighed sadly. She didn’t want to go into their little rental house in this crowded suburban street- much less smell the dirty carpet she could never seem to get clean. Wanting to delay the moment a bit longer, she pulled her natural blonde hair into a messy pony-tail. Timothy was always at her to do something more interesting with her hair than simply run a brush roughly through it and pull it into the familiar pony-tail every morning. He had even once brought Jess make-up, though she refused to wear it, preferring a natural look. Tim believed that he had an image to maintain and she too, had to maintain that image. He had been her boyfriend now for 5 years, since during high-school, and in truth she really knew no other life then life with him. Tim worked hard to build his career as a real-estate agent in a city firm- he was at the office more than he was at home. 6 months ago they had signed a lease together for the small brick house in the concrete jungle that is inner-city Melbourne. Jess hated it. Tim knew she hated it. He loved it though- the proximity to his office, the city lights, the constant hum of traffic through the night.

 Jess looked in the car mirror at the slight bags under her eyes. She just could not seem to get a decent night’s sleep in their claustrophobic bedroom. The makeup might actually be a good idea, she thought to herself, pulling at her eyes.

Deciding she had stalled the moment long enough, Jess started to head inside. She fought, as always, with the designer front door which was designed so well it refused to open without a fight. Finally, she flung it open, swearing heavily.

“SURPRISE!”

Jess jumped in shock as she realised there was a large group of people crowding her small lounge-room, cheering her name. She saw aunts, cousins and grandparents she hadn’t seen in months, and spotted Tim’s parents waving at her from across the room. Tim himself stood next to her mother Jane, under a huge “Happy 21st Birthday” banner strung across the back wall. Jess started laughing and dashed around the room, hugging and kissing all of the family and friends who had evidently decided to throw her a surprise 21st birthday party.

Finally she got to Tim who gave her a huge bear hug, lifting her off the ground for a moment. Various people started waving presents in her face and trying to talk to her, while someone else put a CD of cheerful music over the music system. Jane, who had a huge voice when she wanted to, boomed across the cacophony of voices all talking at once.

“Wait! Speeches first! We talked about this!” She yelled, laughing, turning to Jess,

“Jess. As you can see, we got a couple of people together for a quiet dinner” she nodded sarcastically towards the huge amount of family- Tim’s extended family included- who were packed in the room. They laughed along with her as a couple of Jess’s cousins passed around champagne glasses to everyone.

“We know you didn’t really want a huge party, but we all did, and majority rules” another laugh rumbled away as Jane continued, “but to get serious for a moment. We wanted you to remember this night. We are so proud of you, and we all love you so much. My little girl has grown up!” A few people groaned in good humour and patted Jane’s back as tears formed in her eyes.

“You have always been a strong girl, and I hope that you will always remain true to your heart, and follow your dreams. Those dreams might be unusual, they might not be what other people would want you to do, but my wish for you is that you always remember to follow them.” Jane caught and held Jess’s gaze for a long moment. She had a serious look in her eyes now and Jess felt confused. It was like her mother was trying to tell her something. Jess wasn’t sure what. Jane looked away and stepped aside as Tim stepped forward.

“Jess is amazing” he smiled at her as he addressed the crowd. “She’s smart, funny, gorgeous: she’s my future. I enjoy every day with her, and am looking forward to a long future with her. I see us getting ahead our careers, I see a house in a nice new estate, I see children, I see minivans and kindergarten and soccer practice and, most importantly, a long lifetime of happiness together. I want that lifetime to start as soon as possible,” He turned to look at her again, his face radiating with joy.

“Jess, I love you”.

Suddenly he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. He bent down on one knee and held it up to her, looking up at her with his rich blue eyes under his head of thick black hair. He looked extremely handsome tonight, dressed as he was in a perfectly-fitted dark suit.

“Will you marry me?” he asked happily.

Jess glanced quickly around the room, feeling a sense of horror. Her family stood, watching with excited looks on their faces. She looked to Tim’s parents, who both had huge grins breaking across their faces. She knew how they already considered her a daughter- she also knew how excited they would be to hear it become official. Then she saw her mother, who didn’t look quite so excited. She actually seemed a little concerned, and she was watching Jess carefully. Suddenly Jess knew what her mother’s cryptic speech had been trying to tell her. She was telling Jess to follow her dreams... even if other people wouldn’t agree with those dreams.

Jess looked back at Tim, who looked up at her hopefully as he opened the box. A white gold ring sat looking striking against the black velvet. Adorning the silver ring was a huge diamond, with two smaller diamonds either side. The ring must have cost thousands. Jess almost closed her eyes in agony.

She had done so much for Tim in the last few years- she had moved into the city even though she missed the country every single day; she had given her cattle dog to her aunt to look after as a rental house was no place for a farm dog; the distance to her job as a farmhand had been too far to drive so she now worked as a secretary, which she hated. Hell, even only 10 minutes ago she had been considering wearing makeup when all her life she had never liked the stuff, just to please him.

And yet in all that time, Tim had never bothered to remember that not only did Jess hate big flashy rings, she also hated diamonds. In fact she never wore a single piece of jewellery. And she hated those new housing estates... In truth, she hated his whole idea of their future life.

“Jess?” Tim interrupted her thoughts, looking worried. Jess looked again at her mother. Jane smiled slightly back at her, a silent show of support. Jess felt stronger and looked back at Tim, speaking gently.

“I’m so sorry Tim. I’m sorry to embarrass you in front of so many people, when you’ve gone to so much trouble... But we’re not right for each other. I know you don’t understand right now, but maybe one day you will. I’m so... so sorry. I have to go”

Refusing to look at a single person in the room in case her resolve crumbled, Jess turned on her heel and walked out of the small house, got into her car and drove away, trying to stem the flood of tears running from her eyes and onto her lap.

TWO

Kate Thompson walked through the empty paddocks, kicking at the recently tilled soil. Her two Kelpie dogs Heckle and Speckle trailed along behind her, occasionally rough-housing with each other. She stopped and knelt down on the ground, poking a finger at the dry and dusty ground. There had been a drought now for 6 years, and farmers everywhere were struggling. The Thompson Farm, owned by Kate’s parents Gary and Debbie, was no exception. Their farm survived on meagre rations of water piped from the river and very careful irrigation while, to Kate’s constant disgust, people living in nearby Melbourne city only had to make do with washing their cars a little less.

Kate looked towards the mountains in the distance, which were thrown in shadow under a fading orange sunset. She was trying to find some peace. At 24, she had only returned to the farm 6 months ago, after 3 years away at university studying her dream course- a double degree of agriculture and horticulture. She returned, excited, full of ideas and with her college boyfriend Dylan in tow, to help her father Gary with the farm. 6 months later, she was becoming accustomed to a harsh truth- a truth she was reminded of only this morning.

“Dad” she had said, sitting at the kitchen table with him. “Have you been to the sheep sales yet? We should be carrying far more stock then we are now, and prices are fairly affordable at the moment”

“Kate, we’ve been through this. Dylan has it all planned out, he’s in charge.” Kate simmered with annoyance. So Dylan had it all planned out, did he? And she, Kate, didn’t even get a say.

 “Dad, I went and lived at that college for 3 years so I could get a degree and come back and help you here. Dylan has the same degree I do, yet you trust him and not me. I’m your own daughter!”

Gary remained quiet, running his large farmers hands over the rustic kitchen table.

 “Dad, please let me help.” Kate pleaded.

“Why?” He suddenly said, looking up with sadness in his eyes.

“What?” Kate asked, not understanding what he was asking. Gary went quiet again, and Kate took a deep breath in frustration. Her dad was so typical- he was a man of few words, and never shared his feelings or emotions- he probably thought it was a weakness to admit he was struggling. But Kate wasn’t stupid- she saw a farm stocked far less then it could be, fences falling down, farm vehicles in need of repair. Worst of all, she no longer saw her dad smile. She had barely come home during her 3 years at university- living at college in New South Wales, having fun with college friends, and falling in love with Dylan. She had thought she was safe to have some innocent fun for a few years before returning to become her father’s right-hand person. But when she finally returned, it was to a farm in disrepair, and a father who had lost his love for life. Her heart was heavy with guilt, but she couldn’t undo the past. Maybe she still had the power to bring life back to the farm- and to her father.

“I love it here dad” she began, “I love this land, I love the mountains, the horses, the sheep. You surely know how that feels”

“Yeah, of course” he agreed in a low voice, not meeting her eyes. “Just give me a bit of time to get used to all of this, ok? My girl’s all grown up; I’m not used to it”. Gary got up from the table and kissed Kate on the forehead, walking out of the room.

Kate knew she had to try again, but she didn’t even know what to say to her dad. When she thought about it, she realised her father would now be almost 60 years of age, and had been farming for at least 30 of those. He was tired- sick of the endless struggle, the long drought, the years of barely breaking even let alone making a profit. Kate couldn’t help but blame herself for leaving the farm. Her father had taught her everything he knew when she was a teenager. She had fond memories of him teaching her to drive a tractor. And she’d hung around after high-school, learning what she could of the farm life- but eventually she realised she needed more skills, more knowledge. Her parents had both encouraged her in her dream- a university degree. But ever since her return, her father had been a different man. Withdrawn, quiet, depressed. He took to Dylan, Kate’s then boyfriend of 2 years and fully supported Kate’s wish for him to come and join them on the farm.

She didn’t know what had gone wrong after that, but more and more Dylan was given tasks to do by Gary- tasks Kate never even knew about. She instead was left with minor jobs- silly little tasks that needed doing, but didn’t really have any real importance in the overall scheme of things. Dylan was now “in charge” as her father had said. She would have to talk to Dylan about it later- after a final check of their now dwindling flocks of sheep in their paddocks of the farm.

The Thompson farm lay on the outskirts of a tiny town called Merrijig- a town so small that the locals had a running joke about how you could blink and miss it. Merrijig lay 2 hours north east of Melbourne, at the base of the Victoria Alps- part of the Great Dividing Range of mountains that ran all alone the East coast of Australia. Collectively, Merrijig and nearby towns were referred to as the Victorian High Country, and they had a rich, romantic history full of bushrangers, settlers, and cattlemen who built tiny bush huts and carved a life out of the harsh landscape.

Nowadays, the only real stores of any kind in the tiny town were the pub, the small motel attached to it, and the nearby general store. It was also the last town for the skiers heading to Mount Buller to stop at before driving up the mountain. Infact snow season was important to the town’s survival- the snow tourists brought in their money to spend at Merrijig and the nearby larger towns of Mansfield and Bonnie Doon, which lay either side of Lake Eildon. The lake itself, while normally a tourist attraction in summer when people swam and boated in it, was very low of water at in recent years- the long drought sapping out its supply, leaving a barren waste land of cracked soil and carcasses of fish behind. The tourism too had died down, leaving the nearby towns feeling a little empty.

Kate loved everything about Merrijig, and even wore a t-shirt with the towns slogan; “Where the Frig is Merrijig”; to bed at night- a play on the fact that no-one but the locals knew where Merrijig was. She too, loved her farm, and she cherished working on it. She’d be devastated to see it be sold- which she was beginning to worry was a serious issue- she hadn’t seen the finances, but no farm would last long so understocked. It would be losing money, not making it. She had to save it- she would not give it up without a fight.

Satisfied that the sheep were settled for the night, Kate decided to head back to talk to Dylan, after stopping by to lock up Heckle and Speckle in their oversized dog-kennel for the night. Dylan was playing around with one of the utes, which often broke down, in the enormous tin shed near the huge homestead. He was nursing a bottle of beer when she walked in to say hello, and seemed unsteady on his feet. Several empty bottles were scattered around the shed- she couldn’t tell how many, but it seemed too much.

“Hey” he slurred slightly when he saw her. Kate knew she shouldn’t try to talk to him when he had been drinking, but she was so sick of being left out of the farm decisions.

“Hey. Having fun?” she asked hesitantly, noting that this was the third night in a row she’d seen him this drunk. In college he’d drunk, but only on the weekends when everyone at the uni threw parties and got drunk.

“Totally” he answered. She wasn’t sure if he was being sarcastic, and decided not to ask.

“Listen, Dylan, I had a talk to dad this morning. I think I can talk him around- get him to trust me more with the work around here”

“Kate, you don’t have to. You don’t have to do this shit- you can stay inside and relax” he said harshly, taking a swig of his beer.

“What “shit”? What are you talking about?”

“Sorry, that’s not what I meant. I’ve had a bad day- a long day. Bloody sheep got loose through a paddock again”

“I’m not surprised, the fences are in terrible condition“

“I’ll fix them tomorrow“

“See, that’s what I mean! ‘You’ll fix them’? Let me!”

“OK, you want the truth?” Dylan finally snapped, slamming his beer down on the hood of the car; “farm-work is dangerous. Just last week that guy who runs Merrington farm up the street ended up in hospital with a broken wrist after falling from a horse. Two weeks ago, Mike, the jackaroo off Jackson’s farm- broken spine. Broken SPINE, Kate. They’re not sure he’ll walk again“

“I can’t live a life of fear, Dylan" Kate responded calmly, trying to be rational.

“And when it’s not being dangerous, it’s being flat-out boring.” He continued, not even acknowledging her response. Confusion ran through Kate’s mind- after all, Dylan and Kate had first bonded over their shared interest in agriculture. What had changed his mind?

“Why not go back to uni, study nursing or something. Teaching maybe- you’d be great at that" Dylan continued.

“I just finished a 3 year degree in farming, why the hell would I go back to study something else?"

“You would earn off-farm income then, to bring back to the farm" Dylan muttered, but she still heard it. She felt a strange feeling come over her- something very strange was going on. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, or maybe there was something more.

“Where the hell is this coming from Dylan? God, we met at that uni, studying that course- you knew that I wanted to be a farmer- it’s why we started dating, because we had so much in common.”

“Well uni was just a bit of fun, wasn’t it. We did a lot of partying-“

“-YOU did a lot of partying-”

“-we had a lot of fun. Now there’s real work to be done, and that work isn’t fun” Dylan was yelling now, taking swigs of his beer between sentences.

“Some farm-work is not fun, but overall I like it. I love it, actually. Why are you treating me like I need to be protected? I grew up here; I know what running a farm means. I know it’s not all joy and laughter, but if you don’t want to be here, that’s something you have to work out.”

“I need to be here- someone needs to take over from Gary now that he’s starting to slow down”

“Yeah, that person would be ME” Kate spat.

“You need a man around to help you” Dylan said matter-of-factly. Kate opened and closed her mouth a few times in disgust, trying to find the right words to vent her fury at his sexist comments. Anger coursed like a fire through her veins. But Dylan was swaying now, as he finished the last of his beer bottle and cracked open a new one, and Kate decided that there was no point having a conversation with a man who couldn’t even see straight.

“Grow up and stop being a pig” she spat, as she turned around and stormed out.

Dylan came in at almost midnight that night and stumbled loudly into the bedroom, coughing loudly. He smelled strongly of tobacco and alcohol- not just beer either, but stronger spirits. Kate, who’d been lying awake in their bed for hours now, pretended to be asleep. She luckily had her back turned to him- a small blessing as she quietly wiped the tears from her eyes and wondered how the hell to fix her life.

THREE

Kate had been out riding her golden mare, Sally, for hours, trying to clear her mind. But confusing thoughts kept swarming in her head, making her feel sick with worry. Her father was clearly struggling with some sort of depression- it was sadly quite common amongst long-term farmers. After years of drought and back breaking labour, they simply got tired and couldn’t keep going anymore. Her father had now placed all this trust in Dylan, not even telling Kate was going on with the farm. Dylan was a whole other problem- Kate had developed such a love for him at college, but in the 6 months since he’d moved in with her on the farm, he’d become a completely different person. He was clearly unhappy- Kate wondered why he even went and studied farming in the first place. Maybe he thought there was money in it, maybe he was pushed into it by a family tradition of farming. He rarely talked about his family back home- Kate hadn’t even met them. All she knew was that they lived on a farm, but that Dylan wanted to live with Kate now that they had been together for so long. Yet he spent almost every night getting drunk, either alone or with friends Kate never knew the names of. She felt like she was drowning under a sea of confusion.

Sick of her thoughts, she kicked Sally into a canter, then into a full gallop. The strong, cold wind on her face was bliss as it gave her a few precious moments of peace from the troubling thoughts- until she saw a familiar purple Holden driving carefully through the paddocks towards her. She always found it odd that Dylan drove a hotted up sedan, complete with a blaring music system. It definitely stood out in the farming community where most people drove utes or four wheel drives. But then again, the impractical car only served to add to her suspicions that Dylan wasn’t actually all that keen on farming.

For a long minute she wanted to pull Sally around and gallop her in the opposite direction, but she supposed she better be mature and talk to him like an adult.  Trying to quell the sickening feeling of nerves in her stomach, Kate swung her leg over the saddle and jumped off, holding Sally’s reins and preparing for another argument with Dylan.

Dylan hopped out of his bizarre looking car, looking very pale and tired. He smiled sleepily at her and drew her into a hug.

“Sorry babe, think I had a bit too much to drink last night. But Gary’s out running some errands I think, so I have some time to recover.” He chuckled softly, then winced and held his head in his hands- clearly in the grip of a nasty hangover.

“You were up early” he continued, squinting at her in the early morning glare of sun.

“Of course I was, I could hardly sleep after last night could I?” she answered, more harshly then she meant to. So much for being mature, she thought. Dylan seemed shocked at her response.

“Wait, what happened last night?” he asked, surprised.

“You know exactly what happened last night” Kate said slowly.

“No... I don’t” He sounded honestly confused. Kate didn’t think she could have felt any worse- but she did now. It wasn’t possible he could have forgotten, surely? All the horrible things he had said, the way he had demeaned her and hurt her- had he really been drunk enough to forget?

“You... don’t remember?” She uttered the words slowly, feeling sick with horror.

“Remember what? I remember working on the utes with a few beers, I guess I had one too many. Woke up in bed this morning without you.”

Kate stood in disgusted silence for a moment, wondering what to say.

“I came to talk to you, in the shed. About doing more work on the farm- I feel like I’m being left out- you and my dad are making all the decisions without me. You told me that I should go and be a nurse, or a teacher- that I could get hurt on the farm. You were a downright bastard about the whole thing actually- I called you a pig and walked out. Not my most civil of moments, but still...” She trailed off, looking awkwardly at the ground.

“Well... you would make a good teacher, or nurse. You’re really caring, and smart. And I really do worry about you getting hurt- this farm is big- if you got hurt by some tractor down in some paddock somewhere, I might not find you until it was too late. Your dad worries more about you- he’s always after me to protect you- you’re his only child, you know? He’s allowed to worry” Dylan spoke gently to her, as if trying to calm a stubborn child. 

“I love this land Dylan, I love Merrijig, I love farming. I want to stay here, and make a living.”

“Well, maybe you should just... concentrate on your horse here, for now” he gestured to Sally, who snorted at that exact moment. Kate almost laughed- Sally’s snort was so well-timed, it was like she was agreeing with Kate in her disgust at Dylan. Kate couldn’t even get angry at him- the tenseness of the situation was broken so well by Sally. Kate decided just to let the argument go- Dylan was starting to look a little sick, and was swaying on his feet.

“Go and take a Panadol and lie down, Dylan. We can talk about this some other time.” She patted him on the shoulder compassionately, and swung back up on Sally’s saddle. As she turned Sally and trotted away, she knew that this argument was not over. But for now, it was just easier to let it go.

FOUR

Kate was sitting at the kitchen table early the next morning enjoying her Vegemite on toast and drinking a cup of black tea when her dad walked in and placed his slices of bread in the toaster.

“Morning Kate” he greeted gruffly, coming to sit at the table with her.

“Hey dad” she answered cheerily. Unlike her father and Dylan, Kate loved the early mornings- she was usually cheerful, while her dad and Dylan were notoriously gruff. Her mother slept for an extra hour or so, and Kate was out on the farm doing the small odd jobs her dad gave her to do by the time Debbie got up.

“Dad, have you thought more about what I said the other day? About me doing more things around this place?”

“Kate, it’s 6 o’clock in the morning. I’m not talking about this now” he growled, pulling a copy of yesterday’s local newspaper towards him and beginning to read.

“We have to talk about it. This is the life I want, on the land, with the sheep, the horses, the dogs-”

“-and it’s the one life I DON’T want for my daughter!” He roared suddenly, standing up so swiftly from the table that the chair he was sitting on fell back on the ground with a clatter. He walked to the toaster and started buttering his toast as he continued yelling.

“Do you have any idea how heartbreaking this life is? You work all hours of the day and night, never making any real money. It’s lonely. It’s endless. It’s boring. You wake up one day and realise that you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere surrounded by stupid sheep and you’ve wasted your entire life” he spat at her, taking a breath and continuing, “now I will not allow you to suffer the same horrible life I have- I will not allow my daughter to suffer this way. You are forbidden to work on this farm anymore. Go and get a job off farm. Find a better life.” Gary turned to storm out the room, but at the last minute turned at the doorway.

“You’ll thank me for this one day, Kate. I do it because I love you.” He said quietly, and then walked out of the room.

Kate spent the whole day thinking through what her dad had said. But by the end of the day, she was not only absolutely sure that farming was the life for her- she also believed that she could make a living working on the farm. She had always wanted to grow up and work with her dad as his right hand on the farm, eventually taking over from him when he retired. But if he refused her help, she would have no choice but to seek a life on the land elsewhere.

Perhaps she would head north- far north, up Queensland way, maybe Northern Territory. It was cattle country up there- huge cattle farms thousands of hectares wide. She’d find work as a jillaroo- she didn’t have cattle experience, but she was sure she could learn, and adapt to another farm’s practises quickly. It was different country of course, up there- all red soil and flat plains- few trees, no lakes or hills. Just that red dusty soil and sparse shrubs, stretching as far as the eye could see. Kate wasn’t sure if she could be happy in any land but Merrijig- it was what she’d known all her life- the high green mountains surrounding her, trees and small dams everywhere, Lake Eildon a stone’s throw away. She attended the Merrijig rodeo every year, attended all the horse-riding or cattlemen’s events every year- she’d gone horse riding through the forest land which wasn’t too much of a drive away, towing the horse float behind her trusty white ute. She’d watched snow falling in the mountains in the winter, and fought bushfires in the summer. She belonged to this place, and she loved it with all her heart.

Still fighting mixed feelings of fury and sadness, Kate spent the next morning riding Sally out along the fence-line. It was a sad sight- the fences were sagging, or fallen completely in some spots (though thankfully, there were no stock in those paddocks.). In the distance, she saw her father out on the tractor. It looked like he was cutting through long grass in preparation to make hay- it should have been done months ago, in autumn. Yet another sign of how far behind the farm was in the tasks that needed to be done. Dylan was with him, out on one of the motorbikes, fixing a fence. She and Dylan were maintaining an uneasy truce- neither willing to discuss the problems of their relationship. Kate would lie awake next to him night after night, riddled with anxiety and unable to sleep. Kate decided that she had to try and talk to her dad again and make peace from their argument the morning before. For all his faults, Kate didn’t want to fight with Gary. She knew he loved her and was only trying to protect her, and so she decided to head back to the house for lunch, hoping to run into him when he came in.

She was just letting Sally loose into her paddock when she heard screaming from inside the house- a high pitched wail of help. A jolt of pure fear shot through Kate’s heart as she wheeled on her feet and dashed inside, almost colliding with her mother. The look on her mother’s face sent another jolt through Kate- pure agony was etched across Debbie’s face, her eyes glassed over with shock. She held a two-way radio in her hands, and the panic-stricken voice of Dylan still crackled through the speakers, screaming at Debbie to get Kate, to get help, to call an ambulance. Kate heard something about a tractor, about her dad.

“Mum, for fucks sake, call the ambulance!” Kate screamed at her, jolting Debbie in to action. They both turned and rang full pelt outside and jumped in Kate’s ute, Kate revving the engine as she sped towards the paddock she’d last seen the 2 men in, her mother screaming for an ambulance over the radio’s emergency frequency. Kate whipped her head around as she drove, frantically searching the paddocks for any sign of them, her heart racing and palpitating when she couldn’t see the guys. Finally she saw a large shadow in one the of the fields and wrenched the steering wheel around to turn through the nearest farm gate, thankfully left open- a small blessing. With a sickening feeling of horror, she realised that the shadow was the tractor- turned on its side, shuddering violently as the engine struggled to keep the diesel pumping. Kate skidded the ute to a halt when she got close, not even turning off the engine in her rush to jump out of the car and dash to the fallen tractor, fearing the worst. She saw a contorted figure sticking out from under the tractor and for one wild, mad moment believed that it was some sort of statue- she was even wondering why a statue was in a sheep paddock- when the whole world became unreal, her mind skittering around like a bird as it reeled in shock.

It couldn’t be her father lying broken, crushed under the weight of a fallen tractor, the bottom half of his body still trapped under it.

It couldn’t be her mother, screaming in agony as she pounded with all her strength on her father’s chest, trying to beat him back into life.

It couldn’t be Kate herself, screaming that unearthly, haunting wail as she tried to do something, anything, as she fell to kneel on the ground next to her father, eyes and nose running as she prayed, as she screamed, as she shook his shoulders violently, begging for him to answer her.

Was that the sirens and lights and wails of fire engines arriving? The roaring of an ambulance helicopter landing nearby?

Paramedics wrestled Kate and Debbie away from Gary’s body, dragging them over near the ambulances, out of the way. Kate screamed again in pain and frustration. They were all going so slowly- no-one was rushing. No-one was pulling the tractor off her father- which surely they had to do, because then her father could get up off the ground- he’d stand up and hug Kate and Debbie, apologising for scaring them. Any minute he’d stand up- as soon as they got the tractor off him. Why the hell were they going so slowly? The paramedics weren’t even doing anything- they’d hustled around him for a minute, poking and prodding, then walked away, shaking their heads and talking to the fire-fighters. Kate wrestled against someone’s hold on her, wanting to rush back to her father, to order the paramedics to do something but the person- Dylan- was saying something, something about how sorry he was, how no-one could help- she could barely hear him over Debbie’s screaming, and her own, but it was all fading in and out, all the sounds and lights blending in a confusing cacophony of noise.

She tried to focus but it all swam out of her grasp like a fish in a stream, and faded out to black as she fainted to the ground.

FIVE

ONE MONTH LATER

Kate stood at the kitchen counter, lost in thought as she waited for some soup to heat on the stove. Her mother was not coping- she barely left her room, where she would lie for hours curled up with the windows and curtains closed. Debbie’s sister, Tania, had come to stay after Gary’s body had been taken away by the paramedics. She had originally intended to stay just until after the funeral but now, after a month, she was still here. Kate thanked her silently every minute, because Kate couldn’t have cared for her mother alone. Kate would have wanted a psychologist to come and see Debbie- but they were few and far between in the country, and heavily booked up for months. At least Debbie seemed to be recovering slowly. She was actually eating now, though Kate and Tania cooked her meals for her. She’d get dressed- if Kate organised her clothes first. She rarely spoke. Kate often took her for a walk around the garden, trying to get her talking about cooking or gardening- subjects Debbie usually raved about, but Debbie barely responded. Once she’d even helped Debbie to sit in the ute, thinking that a drive through town would be good for her. Stupidly, Kate had forgotten that the driveway out to the road passed the paddock Gary had died in- Debbie had panicked, crying and begging to go home. It was one of the few times she spoke.

Her father’s death had devastated Kate. She spent nights not sleeping, and spent days wandering aimlessly through the empty paddocks. It was only with Tania’s help that she organised the funeral and got through the first weeks of grief. But while she understandably felt heavy sadness for her dad; she’d never forget herself and Tania physically having to hold Debbie up at the funeral, to stop her from collapsing- her shuddering sobs were so violent, she seemed to be crushed beneath the weight of her grief.

Kate pulled the soup off the stove and poured it into a large mug, intending to take it to her mother, who was up and dressed. Not finding her in her room, she went and looked, eventually finding her sitting on a couch in the lounge-room, listening to Tania who was talking quietly to her. Kate looked on with awe- her mother actually cracked a small smile as Tania said something. Kate wished she could hear Tania- she’d been waiting a month to see her mother even engage in a conversation.

As she watched, she heard a loud noise, and to her dismay realised that Dylan had come inside through the large sliding door of the lounge-room, disturbing the peaceful moment. He came over to Kate in the doorway- not even bothering to take off his muddy boots. Angrily, Kate grabbed his sleeve and pulled him roughly into the kitchen.

“Do you mind? You’ve just got mud all over the floor!” Kate whispered indignantly, trying not to let her mother hear the conversation and get worried.

“Sorry Kate. We’re flat out busy outside, I just came in to grab some food” he said in a low voice, grabbing some biscuits and fruit from the kitchen. The “we” Dylan was referring to was himself and some new farmhand he’d hired to help take care of the farm since Gary died- a man named Sean that Kate despised. He seemed to constantly leer at her, and made weird sexist comments- right to her face.

“Well, I’ll just go find my boots, and I’ll come out and help” Kate answered.

“No babe, look, we’ve got it covered, ok?”

“Yeah, but I want to help, I like helping on the farm”

“You’ve got plenty to worry about here, stay with your mum”

“Dylan, I WANT to help”

“We’ll talk about it later, alright?”

With that, he walked out through the lounge-room, sliding the door shut quickly behind him and stomping off down the veranda.

Kate walked slowly into the lounge-room, only to find Tania and Debbie staring at her. Apparently, despite Kate’s efforts, they’d heard the whole conversation anyway. Kate looked away, through the windows out onto her beloved land, lost in thought.

“I don’t like that boy” came a raspy, soft voice- barely above a whisper. Kate turned to face the two women on the couch- her mother was staring directly at her. Kate hurried to sit down on the couch on Debbie’s other side, trying to keep her talking.

“What mum? You don’t like him?” Kate urged her to continue.

“No. Never have. Too bossy.” Her mother spoke, and actually cracked a sympathetic smile, reaching out a hand to pat Kate’s knee. Kate went with the moment, keeping her mum interested.

“Right! I’m so sick of his attitude- and that horrible mate of his. It’s sad to say this, but I really think him and me are over. We don’t get along anymore. All I want to do is work out on the farm again”

Suddenly Debbie started sniffing, tears welling up in her eyes. To Kate’s horror she began to sob, her face turning red with the effort.

“No mum, don’t cry, come on” Kate begged, hugging her mother as she cried.

“I just... I can’t lose you too Kate. That farm is so... so dangerous... I can’t lose you. Please. Don’t go out there” Debbie sobbed out the words, hugging Kate back too tightly. Kate sat and held her mother as she cried for ages, wondering what she could do now.

SIX

A week later, Kate was growing frustrated. Grief still struck through her heart like lighting at unexpected moments- she knew she would never stop missing her dad. But all Kate wanted to do was work on the farm- the physical work would get her mind off things. Plus she’d barely been out on the farm in the weeks since Gary had died- she had been too busy keeping her grieving mother distracted. She wanted to go out and make sure that Sean and Dylan were doing everything correctly and starting to fix the place up. She had a small window of opportunity to keep the farm going- the mortgage on the farm was still in advance with the bank despite the few recent bad years, and Debbie had not mentioned selling it. Kate suspected that Debbie wanted to stay here- the place that she had lived with Gary for 30 happy years.

Debbie herself had finally become occupied with something to take her own mind off her grief. A few days ago, Tania had tricked her into getting busy- she’d deliberately done the one thing that Debbie always hated. Tania had gone into the kitchen, in full view of Debbie who was sitting numbly at the kitchen table, and she had started to cook a meal. She deliberately did everything wrong- she sliced the vegetables too thick, she over-cooked the meat, she buried the dish in too much pepper and salt. And, to Tania’s delight, it worked. Debbie had stood up from the table and demanded that Tania fix her mistakes- within minutes Tania instead was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of tea while Debbie, for the first time since Gary had died, cooked a wonderful meal for her. Ever since then Debbie had been drawn to the kitchen- cooking up the delicious meals she had long been known for in the household. She still grieved- of course she would, for years to come- but Kate was relieved and glad to see her busy and distracted.

Unfortunately, Debbie still worried sick for her- whenever Kate left the house Debbie demanded that she promise she wouldn’t get involved with the farm work- crying hysterically and begging until Kate, feeling guilty, agreed. For a brief second, Kate considered simply lying to her and working behind her back- but this was her mother. She couldn’t lie to her. On the other hand- Kate couldn’t lose this one-off opportunity. She had ideas- her father had a life insurance policy, and there was some spare money in the banks accounts from a recent sale of lambs. She could buy more stock, and slowly build the place up again. She decided to go and talk to Dylan- something they hadn’t been doing well for a long time. He shared her bed straight after Gary died- holding her close as she wailed in pain and grief through the lonely hours of the night. Kate appreciated him for that. But as her grief became more manageable, he disappeared- sleeping instead out in the workmen’s quarters, where Sean also had a room. Kate cared for Dylan and worried for his health- but she no longer saw a future for them together. She had no idea what to do. It seemed that their relationship was at an end, and yet she knew also that Dylan earned his income off the farm and that Debbie was relying on him to run the farm. And while her mother insisted that Kate not do the farmwork, Kate had to trust the farm to Dylan and Sean. If she broke up with him and therefore kicked him off the farm, her mother might simply hire a stranger to take over Dylan’s job, and Kate would lose her place completely. The stress of her situation was wearing her down- she cried herself to sleep night after night, her mind reeling with a million emotions- grief at her father’s death, frustration that she could not achieve her dream of life on the farm, pity for her mother’s own grief, sadness that her relationship with Dylan was failing. All she could do, she realised, was talk to Dylan. Surely he still cared for her- surely her connection to him and to the farm could still be salvaged. Surely he would understand her point of view- they had been together for years. Kate decided to go and find him, and sort it all out. It was the only thing she could do.

Kate finally found him in one of the sheds, fuelling up 2 of the farm motorbikes. Kate supposed he was going to move the sheep- she herself preferred to it on horseback. It seemed far more peaceful without the throb of motorbike engines to further terrify the poor sheep. Sean was standing near him, a beer in his hand, even though it was only mid-day and he was going out on the bikes. Kate had truly began to despise Sean; his sexist remarks- like how ‘men were better built for farmwork’- were disgusting. And it bothered Kate that whenever she saw him and Dylan, they seemed either drinking, drunk, or hungover. It was why Kate was so worried about Dylan’s health. She decided to talk to him about the drinking later, when Sean wasn’t around to be a bad influence, and just focus for now on the farming side of things. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she started speaking.

“Dylan, I thought I might go out on Sally tomorrow and fix some of the fences in paddock 9”

“Kate, leave the farm to us. You just concentrate on looking after your mum. She’s still not coping yet, you gotta stay with her,” he replied, barely even looking up from the motorbikes.

“Yeah but Tania is here to look after her-" Kate argued

“- except Debbie still panics whenever you leave the house-“

“-so I’ll just tell her I’m going for a walk, make up some excuse so she won’t worry-“

“-oh right, so you’re going to lie to your mum? She’s just lost her husband in a terrible accident, and you’re going to lie to her face so you can go risk yourself on this farm?” Dylan rounded on her, playing the guilt card until Kate felt horrible for even considering the idea. Sean smirked in the background and drank from his beer.

“What if something happened to you- what if you got hurt?” he continued, “what if I had to explain to your mother that I had let you out on the farm against her wishes, and that’d you were injured or dead because of it?” Kate stopped arguing, her stomach filling with a sickening regret. She stood in awkward silence, feeling horrible and selfish, until she realised that Sean was still smirking at her. Glaring at him, she turned and marched out, needing to go and find some time alone.

The next day as she walked through the frosty paddocks, Kate still wormed with guilt when she remembered her conversation with Dylan. She couldn’t just stay like this forever- barely leaving the house incase she was caught in some farm accident. Living a life of fear was no way to live life. Kate believed that if you didn’t do what your heart truly desired to do, then you were wasting away your short years on this Earth. Her mind swirled with indecision and frustration. She had to convince her mother to let her out on the farm- Debbie was a reasonable woman, she would understand more as she recovered from her grief.

At lunchtime Kate headed inside, finding that to her joy, her mother was in a good mood. She and Tania were cooking in the kitchen, and her mother was actually smiling as they sang along to old jazz songs on the radio. Kate felt a feeling of nervousness growing in her chest as she sat at the table.

“Mum, can I talk to you?”

“Of course honey” she said distractedly, her mind still focused on mixing some herbs into a dish she was stirring up. Tania seemed to be doing the menial jobs- cutting up vegetables while her mother mixed and made sauces and soups.

“It’s about the farm.” She spat it out quickly, before her mother could interrupt, “I love the farmwork, I need to be out there. Look, I’m going to be really careful, I’m not going to get hurt”

“Kate, please don’t do this. I just... I can’t worry about this. I can’t see you hurt” Debbie had stopped smiling and cooking, and was now leaning heavily on the counter top, bracing herself and not looking at Kate. Tania smiled at Kate sympathetically, shrugging helplessly. Kate was wondering what to say next when she heard footsteps on the veranda. Dylan and Sean soon walked inside the kitchen. Kate noticed with disgust that, yet again, they hadn’t even taken their dirty work-boots off. She couldn’t understand how they had both developed such a horrible habit- she guessed that neither of them had much respect for others.

“Hey Mrs T, what’s for lunch?” Dylan asked casually. His tone was so arrogant, it was like he thought he was King of England.

“Nothing, Dylan, how about you act your age and make it yourself? Mum’s busy” Kate spat in irritation at him. She couldn’t believe that this disrespectful, arrogant, alcoholic of a person was someone she had once loved and once seen a future with. The man she had met at uni was long gone, replaced by a shadow of a person she couldn’t even recognise anymore.

“Yeah but, we’re running around like headless chooks out there- we’ve got better things to do then women’s work.” Sean responded, smirking slightly at Kate. She was actually taken aback- she’d known since she met him that he was a sexist, selfish pig, and he always made comments like that in front of her- but to make that comment in front of her mother, who paid his wages, was a whole new level of rudeness that Kate could just not tolerate. Her simmering rage finally boiled over and she was just about to hurl abuse back at him, when Tania stepped in, saving the situation.

“Alright boys, we’ll bring you out some tucker in no time, give us a few minutes to whip something up” she interrupted calmly, waving the boys out of the kitchen. Kate could hear them laughing as they walked out into the yard. She wondered if they were laughing at her.

“Debbie, I think maybe it’s worth listening to Kate” Tania coaxed quietly. Debbie sighed and stepped back from the sink, looking around. She saw the muddy footsteps the boys had made on the clean carpet and snorted in disgust, grabbing a wet cloth to try to clean them up. There was a long pause as Debbie scrubbed at the carpet. Tania continued, deciding to be a mediator for the conversation.

“Kate, why don’t you tell your mother how you feel? About Dylan” Tania suggested.

“Well... mum, to be honest, I don’t want him around anymore. Our relationship is over- we don’t even stay in the same bed anymore, he’s been sleeping in the workmen’s quarters. He is not the person he used to be, or maybe I’m not the same. Either way, I don’t love him anymore.” Debbie paused slightly, but then continued to scrub the floor. Tania made a gesture at Kate to continue.

“He’s a total asshole mum. Look, he can’t even remember to take off his bloody boots. He just waltzes in here, expecting us “women” to make him his bloody lunch. Not to mention the constant drinking-“

“-Drinking?” Debbie finally responded, looking in confusion at Kate.

“Yeah mum, he’s turned into a total alcoholic. He’s always out there in the shed drinking with his wanker of a mate” she scoffed, meaning Sean. Kate knew that her mother would understand this- more than once Gary had drunk too much and become a right mean bastard. He could be a lovely man sometimes, but the alcohol just turned him into a bitter shadow of his usual self. Debbie stood up from the floor and reluctantly came to sit at the table across from Kate. Encouraged by this, Tania continued.

“And how do you feel about the farm, Kate?” She encouraged.

“This place means the world to me- this is my life. I can’t spend my days cooped up indoors when there’s such a beautiful land out there- there’s so much potential in this farm. I could make a positive change, I know I could. I could get this farm working again. I have ideas, I’ve planned it all out. I’d buy more sheep- for wool and meat. I’d find some more buyers, get some contracts set up. I’d really love to extend our vegetable garden, maybe make a small organic vegetable section to sell at farmers markets- just something to bring a bit of attention to the farm.” Kate couldn’t believe it was here- the moment she could finally talk about all her dreams of what she could achieve on their land. The farm had once been a bustling, busy and successful place, stocked full with well-bred sheep. It was a shadow of its former self now, but Kate knew she could save it. She knew she could do this. She had been working on her ideas for months. She’d told them to her dad but he’d just never been interested, so Kate had kept them as a secret dream- something she assumed would never come to realisation. Kate was still distraught at her father’s death- she had certainly never wished it on him, and would give anything to have him back alive- but she had to make the most of a bad situation. An opportunity now stood waiting in front of her, and Kate had to hope her mother would let her take it. Kate fell silent, her mind silently begging her mother to reconsider. Tania turned Debbie.

“Debbie? What do you think?” she asked. Debbie was quiet for an agonisingly long moment.

“I don’t know.” She finally uttered, “Kate, I just can’t bear to lose you.... I need some time to think”.

With that, Debbie got up from the table and walked away, ending the conversation.

Kate wasn’t sure how to feel- she was annoyed her mother hadn’t agreed right away, she was angry at Dylan and Sean, she was happy that her mother had at least listened. Kate buried her head in her arms, resting on the table as everything clashed through her mind.

SEVEN

Early the next morning, Kate was again out in the paddocks, needing the fresh air and open spaces to clear her mind. She called Sally out from her spot in one of the paddocks, and saddled her up as the sun rose brilliantly over the land, warming the frozen earth. Riding out, Kate felt a feeling of peace wash through her frustration as she listened to the galahs call from their nests high in the gumtrees. A mob of kangaroos were crouched, nibbling on weeds in one of the bottom paddocks. Hearing Sally’s hooves as they hit the earth, the roos looked up, and as one started jumping off in the opposite direction from her. Kate smiled to herself- she could feel the land healing her, offering her a chance to recover from the horrible events of the last few weeks- from her father’s terrible death, from her now destructive relationship, from her grieving mother. Taking a closer look at the land around her, Kate felt her newfound happy spirits sinking as she realised that the paddock some of the sheep were in was looking tired and sparse of feed. She sighed with exasperation- the sheep should have been moved long before now- they were looking too hungry and thin in their empty paddock. Before Gary’s death, Kate would regularly rotate them through the paddocks, maintaining an efficient regimen that maximised stock weight whilst also allowing the land to recover. But it seemed that Dylan hadn’t continued to rotate them while Kate was out of action, and now the sheep were starving. Kate wheeled her mare around and cantered her back to the dog kennels, releasing Heckle and Speckle- who by now had well and truly woken up, bounding around her with the endless energy of their Kelpie breeding. Whistling to them to calm down and follow her, she trotted Sally back to the field. She whistled again at the dogs, commanding to head out behind the sheep, rounding them up and herding them through a gate that Kate guided them to with whistles and calls. The dogs were well-bred and well-trained- they followed her every command instantly, and the sheep were in the next paddock in no time. Satisfied with their new position, Kate called her dogs to follow, and continued to ride out on Sally, her dogs trailing around behind her, enjoying their run.

By lunchtime, the dogs were well exercised, and Kate headed back for a bite to eat. First, she unsaddled and brushed Sally, giving her a small pile of feed to enjoy as she turned her out into her paddock. Kate had just walked into the kitchen where her mother and Tania already were, cooking, when Dylan and Sean stormed in behind her.

“Kate, what the hell? You moved the sheep!” Dylan yelled at her.

“We’re going to have to move them back now” Sean added angrily.

“What? No you don’t, that paddock was bare- you left the sheep on for far too long, there wasn’t any feed. I was doing you a favour”

“Look,” Dylan hissed, “we have our own plans of what to do on this farm, and you can’t just come and interfere anytime you like”

“Actually, she can” came a loud, firm voice Kate barely recognised as her own mothers. Kate turned in surprise as her mother vividly joined the conversation.

“Debbie, we have it under control, Kate has stuffed our plans up” Dylan explained carefully, speaking like Debbie was some kind of idiot.

“No, you don’t have it under control. It’s not yours to control. It’s mine. And I entrust it to Kate. This farm is hers now, if she wants it.”

“You’re making a mistake. This farm won’t survive without us”

“It’s not my decision, it’s Kate’s. Kate?” her mother turned to her, along with everyone else. Kate felt almost dizzy with shock, realising everyone in the room was waiting for her decision.

“Dylan.” Kate said slowly, gathering up all her courage to say the words she’d wanted to say for months now, “I’m sorry, but this relationship is over. I think you know it too. Please, I think it’s time for you to leave”

“What?! What the fuck! You stupid bitch-“ he yelled

“-you have no idea what you’re doing” Sean joined in, and they both talked over each other, yelling at Kate.

“You’re making a huge mistake!”

“This farm will fail without us!”

“SHUTUP” Debbie suddenly commanded, yelling at the top of her lungs. Picking up her kitchen knife, she advanced slowly on the two men, Kate and Tania falling into place behind her- 3 strong, furious women forming a line of resistance, physically herding the men out through the hall way. Hurling profanities, Dylan and Sean stormed to their respective cars, Sean peeling off first in a cloud of dust, as Dylan turned to hurl one last tirade. Debbie beat him to it, a furious look across her face.

“For too long I have let you destroy my daughter’s dreams! For too long I have trusted you when I should have trusted her! Well, not anymore, I have my faith in her now!”

“As do I” Tania added strongly, placing a hand of support on Kate’s shoulder.

“I’ll send your belongings to the pub tomorrow, you can pick them up from there” Debbie commanded forcefully. Dylan swore one last time, jumped in his car, the wheels kicking up stones and dirt as he sped away. Debbie and Tania each patted Kate on the back, and turned to walk inside.

Kate stood shocked in front of her beloved home, the mountains towering around her, the constant twittering of native birds and crickets in the trees creating the sweet soundtrack to her new life on the land. A kookaburra somewhere started calling, its raucous laughing ringing across the landscape as a tear of happiness ran down Kate’s cheek. She was free, and she had the whole world at her feet.

EIGHT

By the end of the fortnight, Kate’s feeling of happiness had been quashed. She desperately needed farmhands- she couldn’t manage the property on her own. In the two weeks since Dylan had left, Kate had been working around the clock, trying simply to hold things together until she could hire a farmhand.  There were endless tasks to be done- rotating stock, repairing vehicles, organising sheep breeding, starting the organic vegetable side project. Not to mention shearing season was not far away. She barely slept at night- she’d be up at 3 in the morning drawing stock rotation plans, sorting out the budget to hire a couple of farmhands, and writing advertisements for farming career websites, hoping she’d find someone very soon. Tania helped where she could, but she knew nothing about farms- she ran a small florist shop in town. Kate had managed to get Debbie out once or twice to help her string up some fence-line, but Debbie shied away from further farm-work. Today though, Kate desperately needed her help, and went to find her not long after breakfast.

“Mum?” Kate called, walking through the homestead. She heard Debbie calling back, and found her in the kitchen, cooking as usual.

“Mum, I really need your help” Kate spat it out before she lost her nerve. Debbie turned and looked curiously at her, waiting for her to continue.

“I need to move the sheep. Usually I’d be able to do it by myself with the dogs, but I have to move a big mob of them, right over to the other side of the farm. There are too many gates to open- I’ll lose the mob.” She could see her mum faltering, preparing to turn Kate down.

“Please, I know you used to do more work on the farm, and you know how to ride a horse. All you need to do is ride around on Sally, and open and close the gates for me. I’ll take one of the motorbikes and do all the herding work, with the dogs to help me. Please” she implored. She was trying to rearrange the sheep so that when she got a new farm-hand and could attend the sheep sales, she would have well-rested paddocks ready for the new sheep. She waited impatiently, trying not to fidget. Debbie was silent for a long moment, seeming to be lost in thought. Finally she looked up at Kate.

“Ok. I can’t promise I’ll be much help- it’s been years since I was on a horse- but I’ll try my best. You really need to get permanent help though- there’s enough money to hire one or two people, as long as you can turn a profit in the next year.” Kate sighed with relief, and went back out to work.

After lunch that day, Kate gave her mother a few quick reminders on how to handle Sally. Luckily Sally was a friendly horse- she should give Debbie an easy time, as long as Debbie stayed calm. Kate was proud of her mum- she remembered a lot more of her previous horse riding experience then she had estimated, and Kate was sure the afternoon would be a success. She went to kick one of the dirt-bikes into gear, letting it warm up as she put on gloves and a helmet. In no time, she was riding the bike slowly down the driveway towards the sheep’s paddock, her mother trotting along on Sally behind her. Heckle and Speckle stayed in line with Kate- they seemed to know they were working today, not playing, and were on their best behaviour.

Reaching the sheep, Kate whistled an order to her dogs. They obeyed and cast out in a perfect arch, first bringing the sheep together, then gently nudging them in the direction Kate ordered them to go. Debbie had a few minor hiccups trying to open stubborn gates, but overall it was all going to plan, and the women had made it halfway across the farm in a good amount of time. Kate was just starting to relax when she saw Sally stumble on a rabbit hole in the ground. Sally recovered her balance quickly, but Debbie- out of practise- slowly tipped sideways, falling out of the saddle and onto the ground. Instantly, Kate left the sheep and roared her bike over to her mum. Debbie seemed to have landed heavily on her wrist, and was holding it carefully, a look of pain etched across her face. Turning off her bike, Kate dumped it in the paddock, and helped her mum to stand. Thankfully they weren’t far from the farm house. Kate supported her mother, helping her to cross the bumpy paddocks back to the farmhouse, where Tania would be able to help them.

In the house, Kate sat her mother down at the table while Tania pulled an icepack out of the freezer.

“I think it’s just a sprain” Tania suggested, gently helping Debbie to rotate her wrist around. Her wrist was swollen- though it did seem able to turn and move without causing excessive pain. But that wasn’t enough for Kate.

It was all going wrong- horribly, horribly wrong. She’d imagined finding trusty farmhands quickly, she’d imagined getting ahead on the farm with their help. She was furious at herself- she’d encouraged her mother to come out on the farm- even after everything her mother had been through recently- and now her mum was hurt. It didn’t matter to Kate that it was only a sprain and not a broken wrist. Her mother had been hurt because of her. Kate struggled to hold back tears- the farm’s desperate situation had been wearing her down, and now this was more then she could take.
“Kate, I’ll look after Debbie. You look like you need a night away from this” Tania suggested quietly, holding the icepack to her mums wrist.

“I’m fine Kate” Debbie added, “don’t blame yourself. It’s just a sprain. But you do need a night to relax- I hear you up at all hours of the night doing god knows what. One night off will be good for you- clear your mind a bit. Why not go to the pub, have a counter meal, a drink or two? Come home, have a good night’s sleep, and we’ll try again tomorrow. The farm won’t go anywhere until then”

Still upset, but convinced, Kate nodded, and went to get changed into a clean pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt- the weather far too cold to simply wear her usual black tank-top. Coming out clean and refreshed, she grabbed her wallet and headed down the darkening roads for the pub.

NINE

“Yee ha!” Kate sang loudly, singing along with a Tania Kernaghan song that was playing loudly through the pubs jukebox. She had lost track of her drinks now- getting solidly drunk as a pretty red-haired bargirl about her own age filled up her glass with Bundy rum and Coke everytime Kate asked for more. Kate cheered too loudly as the jukebox played another favourite of hers- Sunny Cowgirls. A few pub patrons glanced awkwardly at her, then pretended to ignore her when they realised that she was the Thompson girl, and that her father had only just died. Kate jolted with surprise when she noticed that someone had come to sit on the barstool next to her. It was the woman from the bar. The woman smiled at her, her green eyes lighting up. She had naturally curly hair that seemed to strain at the messy pony-tail it was tied into- wispy curls of loose hair framed her pretty face. The woman held a hand out to Kate, who shrugged and shook it.

“Leah Taylor” the woman introduced herself.

“Kate Thompson” she responded, noticing that the bar was now run by an older man. Seeing Kate look at the bar, Leah answered for her.

“I finished my shift, Andrew over there will close up for the night.” She explained, then fell silent. Not knowing what to say, Kate took another long drink, feeling the rum warming her whole body.

“So. Wanna talk about it?” Leah said suddenly, turning to face Kate. Kate almost laughed. But she was truly drunk by now, and she could hardly pretend that tears weren’t beginning to run down her cheeks. Suddenly, she found herself pouring out the whole story to this total stranger. She rambled on and on, flitting back and forth between subjects as she explained all about her oppressive ex-boyfriend and how she’d kicked him off the farm, about how all she wanted to do was get her sheep farm running again, about how she couldn’t find a decent farmhand despite her advertisements. She was talking about the tractor accident and her father’s death when she found she couldn’t continue anymore, a fresh wave of tears causing her to bury her head on the bar. Leah listened patiently, not uttering a single word as Kate poured her soul out. When Kate finished talking and bent down to rest on the bar, Leah patted her on the back in sympathy, taking away Kate’s rum and replacing it with a pile of serviettes off the bar. Kate began blowing her nose loudly on a serviette as Leah thought it all through.

“I think I have an idea for you. A proposition more like” Leah suggested slowly as Kate screwed up the used serviette in a ball and started on a new one. Kate’s long brown hair was a mess, and her hazel eyes were red-rimmed as she struggled to stop the endless tears.

“Come on, I’ll take you home” Leah commanded, jumping off her barstool.

“You... don’t... have... to” Kate coughed out between tears.

“What can I say, I’m a responsible bartender. I can’t let you drive home like this. Besides, I did say I had an idea. I’ll explain it to you on the way back to your place. Come on, I know where Thompson farm is.” She encouraged, helping Kate off her stool and out of the bar.

TEN

Kate had a splitting headache when she awoke late the next morning. She almost choked when she tried to swallow- her mouth tasted awful. She hadn’t had a night like that in months, but she must have gotten trashed. Crawling out of bed slowly, Kate stumbled half blind in her pyjamas down the hall towards the kitchen, where Tania and Debbie were already up and cooking. Kate’s stomach churned with nausea as she smelt the rich aromas of whatever they were cooking- and she decided to stick with a piece of plain toast. Debbie and Tania chuckled kindly and Debbie placed a cup of black tea in front of her as she sat at the table.

“Big night?” Debbie asked sympathetically.

“I don’t really remember” Kate responded, her mind sluggish as she tried to recall the hazy details. She vaguely remembered meeting the woman with the red hair- Leah, she thought.

“How did I get home?” Kate asked slowly, praying that she hadn’t driven. She was always so responsible- she never drove drunk. But how else had she gotten home?

“Someone brought you home- I only caught a glimpse in the dark, but it looked like a woman with curly hair dropped you off.” Debbie replied.

“Oh, that must be Leah. She was the bartender last night, I think we got talking... I remember telling her about Dylan, but not much after that is clear... Oh God I must have been embarrassing, I hope I didn’t rant too much.” Kate groaned and took a sip of her tea, trying to rinse out the aftertaste of alcohol from her mouth.

“We have a visitor” Tania announced, glancing out the kitchen window.

“That’s strange, we’re not expecting anyone, are we?” Debbie replied, as she and Tania headed out to the veranda to greet their visitor. Kate felt a little better with some tea in her, and decided to go and join the women on the veranda as they watched the approaching vehicle head down the driveway towards them. Kate saw that it was a traditional farm four wheel drive- a big strong diesel, adorned in spotlights and numerous radio antennas for CB radios. Kate’s ute was much the same- the lights and the radio channels an absolute necessity for life on the farm. She herself also had a huge collection of bumper stickers all over the back of the tray- stickers she’d collected from various BnS balls and country music shows she’d attended over the years. The approaching 4x4 was kicking up dust as it got closer, so Kate couldn’t see who was driving until it pulled up and a figure stepped out. Kate realised with a jolt that it was Leah herself, dressed much like Kate usually dressed for work on the farm- old jeans, a trusty pair of boots and a flannel shirt over a blue singlet top. Leah was almost exactly the same height as Kate, her flaming red hair and green eyes looking striking against her creamy white skin. Like Kate, she was fit and strong- Kate suspected she did a lot of manual labour. Leah waved to Kate as she got walked towards them. Kate was suddenly all too aware that while Leah looked work-ready and fit, she herself probably looked like something the dog dragged in. She hadn’t even brushed her mangled hair back straight yet, and her bright pyjama pants and singlet looked faintly ridiculous against her pale skin.

“Well, that’s strange clobber to wear to work on a farm!” Leah joked, laughing gently as she gestured towards Kate’s pyjama pants. Smiling, she introduced herself to Debbie and Tania, shaking hands with each one. Kate’s mind was slow with her hangover as she tried to sort out Leah’s words.

“You do... remember last night don’t you?” Leah turned back to address Kate.

“Nah actually, not really. I remember talking to you a bit- fairly sure I ranted on about my life for a while. I think my mind doesn’t want to remember, I’m fairly sure I was a bit of an idiot”

“Well, you’re not much of a singer when you’re drunk” Leah teased gently, then continued, “anyway, not sure how to tell you this but... erm...” she trailed off for a moment.

“Yes?” Debbie encouraged

“You hired me actually.” Leah announced. The other women remained in shocked silence, so Leah continued, rambling slightly as she anxiously hurried to explain; “well, that’s kinda not how it happened. It was my idea- you were going on about how you needed farmhands- how you wanted to expand your stock of sheep and start an organic vegetable project. I grew up on a sheep farm myself, but my parents sold off about 6 months back, and I’ve been working in the pub ever since. My total passion is farming though, I just love everything about it.” Leah looked at Kate hopefully.

“Um.. ok... Awesome!” Kate responded excitedly. She couldn’t remember the whole conversation, but now that Leah mentioned it she vaguely remembered talking about Leah’s past farm-work last night.

“Yeah...” Leah agreed.

“Well, that solves one problem, hey?” Debbie laughed, clapping Kate on the shoulder, “better dose yourself up on Panadol and show your new friend around!”

“Start off with a change of clothes I reckon” Tania suggested as she head back inside. Calling back behind her she added “and you better go pick up your ute from the pub before some drongo does something stupid to it!”

Kate hurried to get dressed in her own jeans and work shirt- she couldn’t wait to start some real work on the farm, now that she’d found some help.

ELEVEN

The best thing that had happened to Kate since Gary died had been Debbie finally kicking the boys off the farm, and Kate taking over. The second best thing that happened to Kate, was finding Leah. She was a damn hard worker, and she and Kate worked every day for weeks, from dawn to past dark, playing catch-up on the hundreds of chores Kate hadn’t been able to do alone. Leah turned out to be very knowledgeable- not only with sheep, but vegetables too. Leah explained that her mother had been a keen vegetable gardener before they sold their farm, and Leah knew a fair bit about soil conditions and seasons for planting different vegetables. She would be a valuable asset when Kate started her organic vegetable project. Within days of her starting work, Kate had quickly signed her onto a contract, and Leah moved into one of the spare bedrooms- the large farmhouse had plenty of room for all of them, even with Tania still staying over some nights. She’d moved in all her belongings, and even brought her horse and dogs. Kate was pleased that Leah obviously wanted to stay for the long haul. Leah had plenty of farm experience, which came in handy straightaway. Kate was amazed by the amount of half-done chores and shoddy workmanship she found around the farm- she had a sickening suspicion that Dylan hadn’t been doing things properly for a long time. Her suspicions were confirmed when Leah and Kate went to clear out one of the less-used sheds, thinking that Leah’s 5 dogs could live there.

“What on earth is this?” Leah yelped in surprise when Kate threw open the heavy tin door of the shed. She hadn’t been in this shed for months- as far as she last knew it was a junkyard in there- a storage place for old rusted machinery that didn’t even work. With a weird feeling, she realised that the broken parts had been shoved to the back of the shed, and there was a large round table set up in the cleared space in the middle- a Poker set still sat ready to be played on its dusty top. Lining the walls were pictures of naked women, taken from what appeared to be the porno magazines stacked on a spare chair. Littering the room were endless alcohol bottles and empty cigarette packets.

“My God” Leah exclaimed, “no offence, but did your ex actually do any work around here?”

Kate couldn’t respond as she dealt with several emotions all at once- shock, anger, disgust. No wonder she and Dylan hadn’t slept together in months before they broke up- although fit and decent-looking herself, Kate was no match for the air-brushed models posing in inviting positions on the walls of the shed.  And the alcohol bottles were a whole other issue- Kate knew Dylan had had a problem, but she had no idea how serious it was. It made her feel like shit- that Dylan had needed porn and too much booze to be entertained- meanwhile barely even speaking to her.

Kate couldn’t help but wonder how much Gary had known about this- obviously Dylan had been working hard enough around him to hide what he was doing in his spare time. And since Gary had died, Dylan had just... stopped trying it seemed, devoting all his time to this shed. Kate didn’t even realise she was crying, until Leah took her hand and pulled her gently out of the shed. She wrapped an arm around Kate and led her away from the shed as Kate sniffed and wiped away the tears streaming down her face.

“I let him boss me around for so long” Kate sobbed, “I let him stop me from doing what I most wanted to- work on this farm. And all along he was out here with his stupid mates getting drunk, while letting the farm I love fall to pieces.” Leah rubbed her back and didn’t say anything as she let Kate get her grief out. Finally she tried to console the crying Kate.

“I’m really sorry Kate; that you went through all that.”

“I just... I want to get things going you know? This place is a mess- there are empty fields everywhere, we still haven’t made it to a sheep sale or get the veggie garden started, we need another farm hand desperately, and the money we do have won’t last forever. We need to invest in more sheep, so that soon we can start making a profit.” Kate choked out, wiping her watering eyes on her checked farm shirt.

“Well I’m fairly handy with a computer- how about we take a look at the advertisement you put out a few weeks ago, and see if we can’t tweak it a bit- try to draw in some more attention to the job?”

“I had attention!” Kate laughed through her tears, “I actually had a few men respond. But when I talked to them, they just had kinda funny attitudes- they were all older than me, like as old as my dad, and seemed to think I was looking for a farm manager, you know? And then when I explained that I was the manager, and was only looking for assistants, they hung up the phone.” She chuckled, feeling a little more cheerful. Leah gave her a last pat on the back and let go as they headed back for the farmhouse.

“I thought I’d try contacting a few slaughterhouses I know, try to get in touch with some buyers and organise some contracts” Kate continued talking as she walked along with Leah in the bright winter sun.

“How come you don’t have many buyers now?” Leah asked

“That was dad. I wish I could have done more for him, I feel so guilty. He was lonely, he was depressed and tired. He was sick of farming, he just gave up I think. He entrusted it to Dylan, and Dylan hated farming too, it seems.”

“You know, I used to hate farming once. I got a job on a wheat farm during highschool, I thought it’d be something new to learn- my parents didn’t need much help on the sheep farm- we had workers. Turns out, I’m very allergic to wheat.” Leah said, wanting to cheer Kate up.

“Haha, a farmer who’s allergic to wheat?” Kate laughed as they reach the house and headed for the office, where the computer was set up, attached to satellite internet.

“No, seriously! Whenever I’m near wheat paddocks I have to start taking allergy tablets, or I get all teary- my whole face turns red. I look like a tomato!” she laughed, gesturing to her red hair as she sat down at the office chair and turned the computer on. Kate leaned over her to log on to the internet and find the website she’d placed her job advertisements on, stepping back so Leah could take a better look.

“Well that’s your first problem- this website isn’t all that popular, there are more well-known ones you should be advertising on. And you should make the ad a bit clearer- no wonder those guys thought you wanted a manager, you haven’t really specified the job role clearly enough.”

Kate grinned as Leah started typing up the new advertisement, suddenly feeling a lot better about their future.

TWELVE

Kate and Leah struggled not to groan as yet another prospective employee stumbled horribly through their interview. Deciding to make an evening of it, they’d told the 10 or so people who had replied to their ad on the internet in the week since Leah had put it up, to meet them at the Merrijig pub, where Kate and Leah set up a table in the corner to interview their applicants. So far, they’d had exactly what Kate had described last time- experienced and talented men- but they were a lot older then Kate and Leah, and the girls feared they’d lose the farm to someone else’s control. There was only one applicant they were really considering- a 19 year old boy who was taking a gap year after finishing high-school.
“I think that might be our man” Kate said reluctantly.

“I dunno, how much experience did he say he had?” Leah asked. Kate glanced at the notes she’d been taking during each interview.

“Let’s see. Grew up in Deniliquin on a sheep farm...”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he learnt much on it. He did say he wanted every weekend off to go out to BnS balls” Leah smirked

“Well, I mean, he does deserve days off. You do too, though you don’t seem that keen on taking them.”

“I like working on the farm, it’s a good job! Besides, I have been relaxing on Sunday arvo’s- training up my dogs” Leah defended herself, referring to her 5 Kelpie dogs- her breeding pair, Red and Blue (who were both actually black-coated), and their 3 growing pups who were being trained by Leah to be sheepdogs.

“Whatever! Get back to the point! We can hardly expect to hire someone who’s a workaholic like us.”
“You just like him because he’s not old enough or gutsy enough to try to take over the farm”

“Well, yeah, ok, maybe. But look, this situation is getting a little desperate- now that I’ve set up a buying contract with the butcher to start supplying them sheep, we really need an extra hand. And shearing season is coming up soon!” Kate had done exactly as she said she would, and spent hours on end on the phone to various contacts she had in her phonebook, and to the local butchers and food stores. She’d struck lucky- they both needed new suppliers. Kate knew that it wasn’t just luck- the Thompson farm had been part of Merrijig for 30 years, and the locals wanted to look after their own. They knew the struggle that Kate was going through. Still, Kate was grateful for their help. It was a small contract so far- but it was a start and would get their name back out there as a supplier. Leah was just opening her mouth to argue when a voice interrupted them.
“Excuse me, are the interviews finished? I’d like to apply.”

Kate and Leah turned to find a young woman standing shyly in front of them. She looked to be about 21, and was dressed like most other country women, including Leah and Kate- checked shirt over work jeans and boots. Her blonde hair was in a messy pony-tail and like Kate and Leah, she wore no makeup. Kate liked her straightaway and knew Leah agreed- Leah was nudging her leg under the table.

“G’day, I’m Kate, this is Leah. Take a seat” Kate invited, gesturing to the booth across from them.

“I’m Jess” she responded, her face breaking in a friendly smile as she slid onto her seat.

“Well, let’s get to it. Tell us a bit about yourself”.

“Well, I worked as a farmhand on a small specialty farm near Melbourne. They grew organic vegetables.”

“Organic, really?” Leah asked, interested.

“Absolutely. Only organic. They used various things such as regular crop rotating and specialised planting techniques to prevent diseases and bugs from killing the crops.”

“Where was the farm?”

“About 2 hours out of Melbourne city. I used to live out near the farm. I did a lot of the planting and harvesting of crops. I also learned a bit about moving sheep as they had a small line of organic-fed sheep they sold to speciality stores. And I used to do a fair bit of mechanic work too- I love fixing cars”. Now that Jess was talking, she seemed far more confident- her previous shyness replaced by her obvious passion for the subject she was discussing.

“What do you mean “you used to”? It’s a long way from Melbourne to come out here” Kate enquired.

“Well that’s a bit of a long story... I lived in Melbourne with my ex, Tim. Suffice it to say that he wasn’t right for me. I packed up and came out here, hoping to get back on the land. I need to be honest: I’ll be a bit rusty- I worked as a secretary in Melbourne for about a year.” She explained. Kate and Leah glanced at each other, each trying to gauge the others feelings about Jess. Jess, thinking they were about to say no to hiring her, rambled on.

“Look, I know it’s been a little while, but I’m really, really keen. I miss working on a farm- and I absolutely love Merrijig- I used to go on holidays in Bonnie Doon as a kid. I absolutely love the land, and I promise that if you give me a chance, you won’t regret it” By now Kate and Leah were smiling happily, and Kate decided to relieve Jess of her anxiety.

“Oh I don’t think we’re worried about the little side-track you took to the city. I quite like the city actually, but it’s just not my kind of life. I’m actually really keen to hear about what you know of organic farming.”

“So...?” Jess prompted, worried.

“So, when can you start?” Kate cheerfully announced, causing Jess to cry out in delight. Leah signalled the bartender to serve them a few beers as Kate got stuck into discussing organic farming with Jess.

“Hey wait a second, wait a second!” Leah interrupted Kate’s questions, “I’ve just thought of something!”

“What?” Kate asked, confused.

“Do you realise what we’ve just done?”

“.... What?”

“We’ve created an all-female farm! There’s not a single bloke around!” Leah announced, laughing as she passed the fresh cold beers around.

“A toast!” Leah called, raising her glass, “to chick farm!” The other girls laughed and raised their glasses too, clinking them together. Taking a drink of their beers, they excitedly got back to discussing the farm work, getting ready for the weeks to come.

THIRTEEN

By mid-morning the next day, Jess had already shown up in her red Brumby ute, which was towing a horse-float. A large bag of clothes and possessions were in the back of the ute, next to a crossbred sheep-dog with tattered ears whose name turned out to be Digger. Kate showed her to a spare bedroom, where Jess simply dumped her bag on the large bed and asked to see the farm. By evening, Jess had already toured the farm, released her horse into the paddock with Kate and Leah’s horses, fixed the broken ute’s wheel in the shed, and had a long discussion with Kate about her idea of setting up a small section of the farm as an organic vegetable section. Kate felt a growing excitement as further prospects opened up in her future.

By the end of the fortnight, Kate was totally stoked. She’d somehow lucked across two amazing people- not only did they work hard, but they were becoming fast friends. They talked often about their various farm educations and experience, and had even been to a few of the same country music concerts- Kate found it funny that she had been in a pub somewhere, dancing and singing to country music while Leah and Jess were strangers somewhere in the drunken crowd of concert goers. And now here she was, working and managing a farm with them both.

With Jess’s and Leah’s experience with vegetables, Kate could now get her organic vegetable garden started, and the three girls were out in the paddocks one day stringing up fence-line to create a boundary. It was an unusually warm and sunny day for late winter, and Kate was stretching her tired muscles in the sunlight, watching Jess and Leah prepare some wire. She realised with a funny shock that Leah looked very beautiful with the sun behind her, turning her brilliant head of red hair into a halo of fire around her pretty face.

“So Kate. Can I ask... Who used to work here, before us?” Jess interrupted the odd moment.

“Um... why?”

“Oh I just... When I was oiling up the tractor the other day, I kinda found a stash.”

“A stash?”

“Yeah, like a pile of stuff. Bottles of bourbon, porn mags, you know. Guy stuff.”

“Oh...  That would be my ex” Kate answered in disgust. She repeated the same story she’d told Leah- all about Dylan, and her dads death, and how she and her mother and kicked Dylan off the farm- even about how Kate had found the Poker shed set up out the back. Jess made noises of sympathy and nodded as she and Leah strung lines of wire between the star pickets that Kate was hammering into the ground every few metres. Kate wrapped up her story, and then turned the question back on Jess.

“And you? I have to know how on earth you went from working on an organic farm... to being a secretary in the city... to moving all the way out here to Merrijig.” Jess laughed and began speaking.

“Well, long story short, it all involved my ex, Tim. I dated him since we were teenagers- he was my first kiss, first boyfriend, first everything! And while we were teenagers it was fine. But as we grew older, I guess we developed different hobbies. He really wanted to make a lot of money, and live the high life in some fancy house somewhere in the city. He got a job as a real estate agent and moved into the city, near work.” Jess trailed off as she picked a hammer up off the ground and started helping to hammer fence pickets into the ground.

“And you didn’t like that?” Kate prompted.

“I never really was the city type- I actually didn’t grow up on a farm or in the city- I grew up in Kinglake, in the mountains. But my parents hated the constant bushfires every summer, so we moved. Anyway, I still loved the outdoors, and the country. I took heaps of short courses about agriculture, horticulture and car mechanics on the weekends at the local TAFE, and eventually got a job on that organic farm for a year. Things were sort of ok for a time, and I lived halfway between the farm and Tim’s house- so it was an hour drive to either. It’s hard now to explain why I stayed with Tim when we were going in such different directions, but... he was the only guy I’d ever been with, I guess I didn’t want to leave. We moved in together, into Tim’s house in the city so that he could stay near his work, and I had to quit the farm because the drive was way too long every day. I ended up working in an office as a secretary, and I hated every minute of it. No kidding, I actually wore black farm boots under my office pants- it was the only way to make myself feel better.” Leah and Kate laughed along with Jess as she continued.

“My mum must have known all along how unhappy I was, she kept dropping all these hints. Then one day, I got home and found every single member of my family -and Tim’s family- all cramped into my tiny lounge room for my birthday. And what do you know, Tim knelt down on one knee and pulled out a ring. And I thought, how on earth can I say no when so many people are watching me? But I looked at my mum, and she had such a nice smile on her face, it was like she was trying to encourage me. So I said ‘Sorry’ to Tim, turned my back and walked out.” There was a surprised silence as Kate and Leah took this in, interrupted only by the clanging of the hammer as Kate hammered the steel fence pickets deep into the ground.

“So, then what?” Leah finally asked, threading wire through the fence post Kate had just placed.

“I thought my whole family would be mad at me. And a few of them definitely were, that’s for sure! But my mum wasn’t mad, and neither was my aunt Flo. Infact, Flo took the god-awful annoying little hatchback I drove around off me, and swapped it for her old Brumby ute. The ute had been my uncles, but he died and Flo couldn’t drive it with her arthritic knees. So we did a swap. The Brumby was a bit of a bomb, but I love mechanical stuff and got it working well again. My aunt Flo also had been looking after my dog, who by then was definitely missing some real farm work” She laughed and whistled to her farm-dog, Digger, who had been roughhousing in the soil with one of Leah’s Kelpie pups.  He was well-trained and came straight away, letting Jess pat him as she talked.

“I don’t know why I chose Merrijig exactly- there are heaps of farm jobs in lots of different areas, but I’ve just always loved this area. So I used my savings to book a room in the motel for a few weeks, and got turned down for every farm I applied for- until finally I found you guys. And here I am!” she finished, taking the fence wire off Leah and threading it through the holes in her picket to create horizontal fence lines linking the pickets. The girls worked quietly for several minutes as a raucous kookaburra started chirping in one of the gumtrees in a nearby paddock.

“Anyway, that’s my story. And we’ve heard Kate’s. Only one person left!” Jess laughed, nodding towards Leah, who flushed a deep red in embarrassment. Kate and Jess cheered her on until finally Leah caved in and began to talk.

“Oh god, what can I say... You already know about my parents, I guess. They wanted to retire to the coast, so they sold the farm to raise the money to retire on. I came here and worked in the pub til Kate rocked up and drank herself blind. I swear, the bar actually ran out of rum that night!” she laughed, teasing Kate.
“Don’t change the subject! Why not stay in Deniliquin?” Jess asked, referring to the large country town in New South Wales that Leah had moved from. Deniliquin was fondly referred to as ‘Deni’, and was best known for its annual ute muster, which drew a phenomenally huge crowd. Kate drove up every year, partying with the country crowd all night, until finally crawling into her swag in the back of her ute as the sun rose.

Kate watched with interest as Leah flushed an even deeper red- her skin was now almost the same colour as her flaming hair. Jess didn’t miss it either.

“Was it, perhaps, some guy?” Jess guessed, and Leah looked at the ground in embarrassment.

“It was!” Jess cheered.

“Yeah ok, ok! There was... a guy... and it didn’t work out. I fell in love with him, and I guess I thought he loved me back. But he didn’t. So when my parents packed up and moved, I decided to move too. Make a fresh start somewhere new.” Leah admitted slowly.

“Aw man that sucks.” Jess sympathised.

“Yeah..... You know what? I think it’s time for lunch” Kate announced, picking up the fencing tools and walking back with the girls. Debbie was still passionately cooking delicious dishes of food, in between pottering around the house doing odd house chores that Kate rarely got time to do. Kate was just happy that her mum was keeping herself occupied- and that she and her friends got to have a nice hot lunch and dinner everyday- a blessing after a long day of hard work out on the farm.

After lunch, Leah and Jess went to go pick up a large order of vegetable seeds from a farm supply store in Mansfield while Kate went looking on the internet for a shearing team. The sheep would need to be shorn in early spring- only a few weeks away. Kate was hoping that she would make a bit of extra money from the sale of their wool, to restock the farm’s decreasing savings fund. They would need everything they could get so Kate could invest in more sheep and vegetable seeds. She would have to keep ringing around, finding more businesses to sell her meat and wool too- and of course, the vegetables when they got going.

Kate finally found an ad for a shearing team from the nearby town of Delatite- a two person team with several good reviews, and even a few awards for fast shearing during competitions. She sent them an email to organise a booking, and went to see how her mum was. She finally found her in the lounge-room, folding up a huge pile of washing that the girls had obviously made with their farm clothes. She was humming quietly to herself as she tackled the towering pile.

“Oh, mum.” Kate groaned, “you don’t have to do all the washing you know, me and the girls are perfectly capable of washing our own clothing.”

“Oh hello Kate” Debbie greeted as Kate came over and started to fold some of the washing up.

“Seriously, this pile is huge. I should have started it earlier, I just got caught up in the farm work”

“It’s really fine Kate, I don’t mind”

“Well, you should mind! Mum, stop folding!” she took the shirt her mum was currently folding off her, and continued

“Mum, I don’t want you to feel like you have to spend all your time doing our chores for us. This is your house, your life. We can do our chores. Besides, isn’t there something else you’d rather be doing?” Kate asked.

“Kate, I... I don’t know what to do with myself since your dad... died. The only thing I like to do is cook” Debbie admitted sadly.

“Well... can’t you do something with your cooking? Invite some friends over, cook for them. They’d love it- your food is amazing!” Kate suggested.

“That’s actually... a really good idea. It’d be great to see my old friends again. It’s a bit quiet now that Tania has gone back home.” Debbie laughed and took the shirt back off Kate to fold it.

“Good, that’s one thing sorted. And I’m going to draw up a chore roster from now on- we can all do our fair share of work around the house. Ok?”

“Ok” Debbie agreed. Kate heard a car pulling up, and went to find that the girls had got back. Seeing Leah step out of the ute and jump up into the tray to start lifting packages of seed out, Kate felt a strange feeling of excitement in her chest- like she was really, really happy to see Leah. Shaking her head to clear it, she went to help the girls, the strange feeling soon forgotten.

FOURTEEN

The chickens had all been Jess’s idea, and Kate didn’t let her forget it as the girls worked extra hard for days to build a giant chicken coup, complete with roosting boxes and deep wire to keep the foxes out. Kate hammered in chicken wire around the wooden structure as she remembered the day a week ago when Jess had come up with the brilliant idea.

“Chickens!” Jess had announced triumphantly, as soon as she had gotten back from a trip down to the shops to pick up supplies.

“She’s gone mad.” Leah said seriously, shaking her head sadly. “I’ll go get the gun, put her out of her misery.” Kate had laughed, but Jess wasn’t even listening.

“Seriously, it’s awesome. It’s like the whole town is out of eggs- the produce store only has these cheap cage eggs from some supplier in New Zealand, and the chickens in the butcher shop are tiny. I spoke to the guy at the butcher shop, and he’s pretty keen to talk to you about contracts” Jess had continued excitedly. Kate had driven down to the butchers and the produce stores that very afternoon, and negotiated a contract to start supplying free-range eggs and chickens the next month. She had even driven on to the larger town of Mansfield, and to her total delight, soon had buyers there too. Her luck was beginning to turn good again. Now all she needed was the chickens.

So there they were a week later, building a gigantic chicken coup for the chickens to rest in at night- the plan was to let them roam free in a converted paddock during the day. Kate was hoping that she might be able to train Heckle and Speckle to guard them- as long as the dogs stayed far enough away from the chickens so as not to spook them, they should be a very effective guard against foxes taking the chickens.

“Hey girls, guess who called me this morning while you two were out playing with those dogs of yours?” Jess called down from her position on top of the chicken coup, where she was bolting sheets of hard clear plastic down to create a roof to protect the chickens.

“Yeah, who?” Leah answered as she sat on the ground building the roosting boxes for the hens.

“My brother Blake.”

“And?”

“And he just got engaged!!”

“Oh awesome! When’s the wedding?” Leah asked happily.

“Years away, I suppose. They’ll have to legalise gay marriage first.” Jess laughed as she drilled another bolt down.

“Your brother is gay?” Leah asked, surprised.

“Yeah, have I not told you that?” Jess responded

“No, I didn’t know. You’re totally cool with him being gay?” Leah sounded a bit strange and Kate put down her hammer to look at her, wondering what was going on.

“Of course,” Kate stepped in to answer, “you don’t choose who you fall in love with”. She stared at Leah, who had turned a strange pale colour.

“Would you be friends with a gay person?” Leah seemed to be addressing Kate alone, who answered carefully, trying to read the emotions written across Leah’s face.

“Of course” Kate said, wondering where this conversation was going.

“Why wouldn’t we?” added Jess from the roof. There was a long awkward silence as Leah looked down and concentrated on building the roosting boxes. Kate stared at her for another long moment in confusion, wondering why Leah’s skin still looked pale and sickly. Kate shook her head and went back to working on the chicken wire, soon forgetting about the conversation as she got stuck into making sure the wire was deep enough into the ground to guard against foxes. She was just tying off a piece of wire with her pliers when Leah suddenly spoke again, her voice nervous and fast.

“What if I was gay?” She spoke suddenly, staring right at Kate, who met her eyes squarely as Leah continued, “what if the guy who I’d loved wasn’t a guy at all? But a girl?” Leah’s eyes were darkened with anxiety as she waited for Kate’s answer.

“Like I said,” Kate said clearly, smiling, “you don’t choose who you fall for. Love is love, friendship is friendship. It hardly matters what gender.” The look of pure joy that crossed Leah’s face made Kate’s heart skip a beat. For a second she wondered why, but then Leah had crossed over to her, and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry, I was worried you might not want to know me anymore” Leah whispered, letting go of Kate, who felt slightly dizzy and flushed as she realised she stood only bare inches from Leah. She had never noticed before how rich Leah’s green eyes were... She was just thinking that was a pretty weird thing to notice at all, when Leah stepped away and headed back for her chicken roosts. Kate shook off the weird moment, and went back to work, not noticing that Leah’s face had turned a deep, bright red again.

FIFTEEN

With the shearers due to arrive in a few days to start their week of shearing, Kate and the girls had been working night and day to make sure things were ready. There were a million tasks as always to be done: trucks now arrived once a week to pick up vegetables and sheep to take respectively to the produce stores and slaughterhouses that Kate had contracted so far; fences almost always needed repairing; the organic vegetables needed a lot of caring for; sheep needed to be tended; dogs needed to be trained; even the house chores like washing and cleaning still needed to be done. The girls were blessed to have Debbie- who had followed Kate’s suggestion and had started inviting her friends over so she could cook for them and have a social evening. Kate had been absolutely rapt to see her mother slowly coming back to life, like a soul reborn. The old flicker of life and humour was back in her eyes as she cooked wonderful meals for her friends. Infact, her friends so well liked her meals that it wasn’t long before they were inviting their friends- and soon Debbie was the talk of the town. But no matter how popular Debbie’s meals were, she always made sure there was more than enough food for 3 hungry girls who had been slogging away on the farm all day. The three women, who by dinner were too exhausted after their long relentless days to even make themselves a cup of tea let alone cook a meal, could not thank her enough for her thoughtfulness.

With the usual farm tasks finally under control enough to see them through the week of shearing, Kate had one last special task that needed to be done: the shearing sheds were a disaster zone.

“No offence Kate, but this looks rather familiar” Jess had sighed sadly as she looked out over what, to Kate, had indeed become a familiar site. The shearing sheds were dusty and messy- as could be expected, since they were barely used at any other time of year- but on top of that, they were yet another den that Dylan had hid his alcohol bottles in.

“Um, Kate? What happened here?” Leah called out from where she had walked to the other end of the shed. Kate followed her voice and found her examining a section of wall that seemed to have been destroyed by sheer force. Kate spied, in the rubble, a heavy sledgehammer.

“I think...” Kate gulped, “that Dylan has done this”

“What, did he get angry and go nuts at the wall with the hammer or something?” Jess guessed. Leah said nothing, but walked over to rest her hand on Kate’s shoulder- a gesture of support. Kate felt the weirdest feeling- like her shoulder was suddenly racing with a white hot heat- a flooding warmth that ran straight to her heart, making it feel as if it was bursting with life. Kate was torn- she rarely got close to anyone, and had a natural desire to step away- and yet, the heat she felt coursing through her was like a drug. She couldn’t walk away from it- she was drawn like a moth to candle to it.

Leah ended it for her, saving her the torture, as Leah went to grab some tools from a nearby shed to fix the broken wall. Kate wiggled her shoulder around- stretching and rotating her arm, suddenly feeling as if her arm was too light- an arm that wasn’t quite driven by her, but by something else entirely. She didn’t see Leah, in the next shed, flexing and rubbing her hand as if it too throbbed and glowed with the same unearthly fire.

“So who are these shearers coming tomorrow anyway?” Jess asked later that day as she hammered back a loose board onto the broken wall.

“There’s four of them- the bosses are Frank and George- they’re gun shearers, they’ve won all these shearing competitions for speed and accuracy. And then they have two younger guys with them I guess. I was lucky to get a booking with them- they’re quite popular.” Kate panted as she scrubbed the floors clean of several layers of dust and dirt. The girls had played several games of rock-paper-scissors in order to decide who got what job. Kate had been beaten squarely by the other two, and as such had ended up with the least interesting job- scrubbing the floors.

“Fair enough” Jess mumbled, holding a nail in her mouth as she lined up another board.

“Hey, you don’t think it’ll be a bit weird do you?” called Leah, who was at the other end of the shed, setting up the wool press and bins ready for the next day’s work.

“What’s weird?” Kate answered, concentrating on scrubbing off caked on mud.

“You know, working with men again. I mean, I’m not worried cos i’m a lesbian or anything- it’s just that it’s just been us 3 girls, and Debbie, for these past couple of months. It’ll be different working with blokes again- especially cos as the shearers they’ll be in charge, and we’ll just be the minions who do their odd jobs.” Leah explained.

“I hope not” Kate answer, thinking it through, “no, the email I got from George was very friendly. He seems like a nice guy. Besides, we’ve still got important jobs.”

They had already discussed their jobs- Kate would be classing and sorting wool, Jess would be in and out of the shed removing shorn sheep to their paddock and bringing new sheep to be shorn; whilst Leah was the rouseabout- running around doing important tasks such as sweeping the shorn wool into the correctly sorted piles ready to be classed by Kate. Debbie was on lunch duty- the shearing team would be catered for as part of their fee.

“Oh hey by the way Kate, I meant to tell you. If you want to train one of your dogs up to guard the chooks, I definitely think you should choose Heckle. You should have seen him the other day- he just sits there staring at them all day.” Jess informed with a laugh.  Kate’s order of several dozen chickens from a farm in western Victoria had finally arrived, and were settling in to their completed coup. She hadn’t had chance to see her dogs reaction to them yet- but Kelpies were intelligent creatures- she was hoping having them around would discourage the foxes from taking the chickens.

“Do you think we can train him to look after them?” Kate asked.

“Oh yeah, I reckon so. You should have seen him when a crow started trying to eat their food- he started stalking it and tried to chase it. It flew away, but then Heckle just went back to staring at the chickens. Definitely protective!” Leah laughed along with Jess, and Kate was distracted momentarily by the Leah’s laughter- it had an almost musical sound too her ear, and it made Kate feel happy to hear it.

“So shearing is tomorrow! That day came fast, I can’t believe it’s spring already. Hopefully we might get some spring rain- certainly winter wasn’t that wet.” Jess exclaimed excitedly.

“Wait a second... shearing is tomorrow...” said Kate thoughtfully, “you know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think that calls for a night out! A celebration! We haven’t been out since we met Jess, and that was ages ago. So who’s up for... the pub!!” Kate called, raising her hand in the air to indicate her acceptance. Jess and Leah both cheered and waved their hands in their air, until knuckling back to work with added fervour and excitement- knowing that the sooner they got the work done, the sooner they could go and enjoy a night out.

SIXTEEN

“To farming!”

“To Lee Kernaghan on the jukebox!”
“To endless pots of beer for half-price!”

The girls laughed loudly and raised their beers in a toast, each drinking before going back to eating the giant pizzas that they had ordered. They were in the Merrijig pub- a somewhat rustic timber building with an old-fashion jukebox dedicated completely to country music. Someone had apparently chosen to play an entire Lee Kernaghan album- and none of the 3 girls were complaining.

“I love playing Lee’s songs on my guitar” Jess said as she bobbed her head along with the beat of the chorus.

“You play guitar?” repeated Kate.

“You’d know that if you gave me any spare time to actually play my guitar!” Jess teased, winking at her.

“I can’t give you time off if you never do any work in the first place” Kate joked back as Jess poked her tongue out at her. Kate saw Leah smile at her quick come-back, which made Kate grin even harder. She loved making Leah smile- it was a beautiful thing to watch her eyes light up with mirth.

“Kate?” came a familiar male voice. All 3 girls turned to look, finding a tall young man in jeans and a singlet standing at the nearby bar, looking at Kate. He walked over to their table, and with each step Leah noticed Kate’s face becoming paler until she was as white as ghost.

“Hello Dylan” Kate replied politely, obviously trying to maintain her dignity. Kate felt sick in her stomach. Seeing Dylan again after all this time, when she’d learned so much more about him- things she wish she’d known years ago- was a shock she wished she didn’t have to deal with on this special night with her friends. Still, she knew she would have to tough this out and act like a mature adult. No matter what his problems were with alcohol, no matter how little respect he had given her, no matter how badly he had crushed her dreams- she had to be the mature one.

“How’s the farm going?” Dylan asked in an equally polite voice. Kate noticed that Sean, Dylan’s farmhand when he worked on her farm, and another couple of Dylan’s friends were leaning over at the bar, watching and listening to the conversation as it progressed.

“It’s going quite well actually, thankyou. We start shearing tomorrow infact” Kate answered with a pleased smile. She hoped he would find it within him to be happy for her.

“Oh good. So did you hire some guys to help you out on the farm?”

“Well yes and no. I hired these ladies here actually. They’re absolutely fantastic, we make a great team. Dylan, meet Jess and Leah.” Kate nodded to Jess and Leah in turn. Kate noticed that Leah had gone slightly green, and she was spending most of her time avoiding looking at anything except the table. Kate didn’t have time to think about it as Dylan spoke again.

“You just hired girls? No... guys?”

“No. Jess and Leah are amazing. What difference does gender make?” Kate wondered for a second if she wasn’t just talking about farm work here- but relationships too. She heard laughter breaking out from Sean, and turned to find him and his mates grinning coldly at her.

“Is there a problem boys?” Leah stepped in to the conversation, glaring at Sean.

“Only that a bunch of chicks reckon they can last on a farm, let alone through shearing season.” Called back Sean.

“We do hope the shearers don’t walk out when they realise they have to rely on a bunch of chicks to help them out” added another of Dylan’s mates, who seemed to have a permanent sneer stuck on his face. Kate disliked him instantly. She noticed with a wave of embarrassment that most of the pub patrons were now listening in to the conversation- it was impossible to ignore now that Dylan’s mate had got involved.

“Oh I don’t know, mate” said the last guy, an overweight bloke who sidled up to Leah, wheezing as he leered down at her from above- staring it seemed, straight her chest; “at least the shearers have something to look at. How about you and I share a beer sometime, love?” He asked Leah, still ogling her chest.

“First, my eyes are up here, mate. Secondly, not if you were the last bloke on the planet” Leah snarled, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

“Why not?” the fat guy drawled, “you’re not a lezzo are ya?”. The guys laughed amongst themselves as Kate and Jess watched Leah carefully, wondering what to do.

“Actually” Leah announced, standing up to meet the fat man in the eye, the power of her stance and gaze forcing him to finally look her in the face instead of at her chest, “I AM a lesbian. And I’m damn lucky to be one, since it means I’ll never have to suffer being with the likes of you” she said proudly, holding her head high in proud defiance. Smiling in triumph, she turned back to Kate and Jess, who were grinning broadly at the shocked looks on the guy’s faces.

“Would you girls like to dance with the dirty lesbian?” she joked, holding her hand out to them. Kate reached out to take it, feeling again the warm tingling as her fingers linked with Leah’s and she and Jess followed Leah to the dance floor. Laughing happily, the girls started dancing and cheering along with Lee on the jukebox, ignoring Dylan and his idiot mates as they walked away, defeated.

SEVENTEEN

“Oh, I am definitely regretting staying up dancing so late” Jess groaned as the 3 girls entered the shearing shed just after 6am, getting last minute things ready for the shearing team. It had been 1am by the time they had gone to bed- they had stayed up way too late dancing and singing along with their favourite country artists on the jukebox all night.

“Well it WAS a celebration” Leah remarked

“besides,” Kate pointed out, “how often do we get a night out at the pub?”

Laughing, Jess left the shed with her sheepdog, Digger, to pen the first group of sheep in preparation to be shorn. Kate was left alone with Leah in the cold shed, dimly lit since the sun hadn’t fully risen yet. Suddenly, Kate felt very self-conscious; she badly wanted to find a mirror and check she looked ok- definitely an unusual practice, since usually she couldn’t care less about impressing other people with her looks. Leah thankfully broke the awkward silence.

“I had a lot of fun last night” she said quietly, not looking at Kate as she got her brooms and combs ready to be rouseabout.

“Yeah, the pub was great” Kate answered awkwardly. It felt as if the huge shed was suddenly too small for them both.

“I loved dancing with you” Leah said, raising her green eyes to meet Kate’s. Even though Leah stood several metres away, Kate felt like an invisible rope connected them- she was acutely aware of Leah’s exact presence in the room, which seemed to be getting smaller every second. The sound of an approaching diesel engine cut through the thick air like a knife, leaving Kate feeling breathless. What the hell was THAT all about, she thought to herself as she and Leah ran out to find large farm ute pulling up. Jess soon joined them, watching as two dark figures stepped from the car, leaning into the tray to pull out the tools and bits they would need for their days work. As the shearing team came closer, Kate frowned in surprise when the light from the shed finally hit their faces- making her realise that one of the figures was actually a large, friendly looking woman. The woman’s male companion extended his hand out to the girls in turn, shaking their hands.

“I’m George,” he said in a jovial voice, “and this is Frankie, my wife- and the head shearer of this crazy carnival we call shearing season.”

“Good morning!” Frankie added cheerfully, taking over George’s place to shake their hands. Kate finally regained her voice, introducing the girls and herself.

“I’m Kate, this is Jess and Leah...” she trailed off, feeling a little embarrassed.

“Let me guess,” Frankie said kindly, “George told you my name was Frank, so you thought I was a man”

“Um... well yes, actually”

“It’s his idea of a joke- he likes to see the surprised look on people’s faces when they realise the shearer they hired for their precious sheep is actually a woman” Frankie said with a laugh, turning to scowl at her husband. A huge friendly grin cracked George’s face, punctuating his wife’s explanation.

“But from what I’ve heard,“ Frankie continued, “for once I won’t be the only woman around. Infact, apparently George will be the only man around”

“Yes that’s right, somehow we’ve ended up an all-female farm. It wasn’t exactly intentional, but I think it’s turned out really well” Kate agreed, smiling proudly at her two friends.

“You’ve heard about us?” Jess chimed in, intrigued.

“You’ve got quite a reputation actually. I went to buy meat and the butcher wouldn’t stop raving about how I should buy the lamb- apparently the sheep he gets from this place are top-quality produce.” Frankie explained

“I myself am looking forward to lunch, myself,” George said happily, “word around town is that a woman named Debbie who lives here is a fantastic cook. Apparently everyone wants to be invited to her dinner parties.” Kate raised her eyebrows in surprise as the other two girls murmured to each other- none of them had any idea they had created such a good reputation out in the town- and all in only the 2 or 3 months they had been working and living together.

“Yes that’s my mum, she is a fantastic cook, and she’s catering tea breaks and lunches for us all week. But I suppose I better show you where to set up, or we’ll never get to actually having lunch” Kate laughed as she lead the small shearing team to the sheds. This should be an interesting week, she thought to herself happily, please with how friendly her new team was.

As soon as they had gotten started, the days had flown by in an endless line of sheep and growing piles of shorn wool. It was a strange production line- the sheep coming in one chute all fat and heavy with layers of winter wool covering them, and leaving again looking skinny and naked with their wool shorn off. Jess spent the least time in the shed of all of them- she was outside with Digger moving the sheep around most of the time. Leah turned out to be an excellent rouseabout, helping the shearers with whatever they needed, and clearing up the shorn wool with efficiency and precision- making Kate’s job as the wool sorter and classer far easier with Leah’s excellent help. Kate barely had time to think- she was busy, and she was in heaven. Frankie and George were incredibly talented shearers- they were both lightning fast, and almost never cut or hurt the sheep by slipping with the electric shears. Also, they really made the shed a happy place to work with their attitude- they were some of the most friendly and cheerful people Kate had ever met. They had a jovial, teasing relationship with each other. Kate was almost always laughing as she heard them making witty, clever jokes at each other’s expense- Kate would barely have started laughing at Frankie’s joke when George cut in with his equally clever rebuttal- and Frankie would then cut in with HERS.

The other amazing thing was getting to work so close to Leah everyday. Kate told herself that she was simply enjoying working with her best friend everyday- what other explanation would there be for her sheer delight at working so close to Leah?. She justified her enjoyment of Leah’s company by telling herself that most of the time, the girls didn’t actually get to work together a lot. One girl might be out herding sheep through paddocks, while another collecting eggs from the chickens, while the third would be tending to the vegetable garden. They sometimes went for days only seeing each other for brief intervals to share lunch or discuss tasks to be done. Kate’s favourite time of the day usually was in the late evenings, when they would saddle up their horses for a ride to check the fences, or spend a few hours training Leah’s Kelpie pups. So seeing the girls all day everyday was a nice change for Kate.

Leah spent her days sneaking peeks at Kate working over at the wool classing table- her work singlet damp with sweat as she worked hard to organise and sort the wool, her brown-coloured hair going frizzy and escaping its loose ponytail in the damp heat of the shed. Leah always had the urge to go over and run her fingers through Kate’s hair- in her wildest moments she imagined twirling her fingers into Kate’s long hair and drawing her into a passionate kiss. She cut this thought down ruthlessly when she pictured it- Kate liked men. That was the way it was- and Leah knew better than anyone that you couldn’t change someone, no matter how much you wanted them to love you. She had learned that lesson last time, with her ex, Sarah. Sarah had been her first love, at just 21, and for a long, glorious year, she had loved Leah back-until Leah had visited her and found her in bed with some guy. It took her years to get over the fact that while she had devoted herself to Sarah and loved her dearly- Sarah only saw her as a sexual experiment- an experiment that ultimately failed.

“Hey girls, I had a bit of an idea for you” came the cheerful voice of Frankie, interrupting Leah’s reverie- thankfully, since Leah realised with embarrassment that she was sweeping her current pile of wool into the wrong sorted area. Luckily, she fixed her mistake before anyone else noticed her distraction.

“Yeah?” prompted Jess during one of her rare entries into the shed.

“Yep. How would you like to learn to shear a sheep?” Frankie suggested, holding out her shearing clippers.

“Frankie, you don’t have to do that” Kate didn’t want Frankie to be extra busy later if she took time out now- they only had one more day of shearing booked.

“Don’t worry Kate, we’re actually quite far ahead- we could finish the rest of the sheep today if we really wanted. And we will- if that’s what you want, of course. But I thought you might be interested to learn to shear” Frankie replied calmly, shrugging.

“Oh I’m not worried about you not finishing- like you said; there’s not many sheep left. I just didn’t want anyone to get held up tomorrow. I have my own suggestion, you see. My mum has offered to cook everyone a barbecue dinner- she’s experimenting with roast meats at the moment, and wants to cook us a spit roast. I thought we could make a night of it- a few beers, the roast, a big campfire. Jess can finally play some guitar for us- we’ve been nagging her for long enough.” Kate grinned at Jess. She’d heard snatches of Jess playing in the late evenings- but all three girls were too busy to spend a long time either playing guitar or listening. To her delight, Jess, Leah and the two shearers let out a cheer and agreed instantly- Debbie’s catering had gone above and beyond expectations- warm, delicious meals were always available to fill up the hungry shearing team.

“Well, ok, so we’ll sit out by the campfire tomorrow night and get fat on roast meat,” Frankie said, patting her already rounded belly- Kate suspected she and the large George shared an overindulging love of food. Not that Kate cared- what business of hers was it?

“But the offer to learn to shear is still on the table” George pointed out, looking at the girls.

“That would be awesome!” Jess exclaimed, Leah and Kate quick to join her in agreement. Jess was the closest and went first- Kate and Leah were almost crying with laughter as they watched Jess struggle to even hold the sheep still, let alone cut decent amounts of wool off it. Finally, Jess got the hang of it and sheared her sheep- with a little help from George who jumped in with his clippers to straighten out Jess’s messy job. Kate soon regretted laughing at Jess so loudly as she struggled to get a good grip on her own sheep. She laughed along as Frankie showed her how to use the clippers to shear the sheep- Kate did the same messy job as Jess, also needing George to clean her sheep’s coat up.

Finally it was Leah’s turn, and at first Kate laughed just as she had on her own and Jess’s previous attempts at shearing. But then the setting sun struck Leah- the perfect angle of light capturing Leah so perfectly. Her curly red hair was a halo of fire, and the sun reflected warmly in Leah’s bright eyes as a the most beautiful smile Kate had ever seen crossed Leah’s face as she struggled with her sheep. Kate’s heart suddenly skipped a beat, and for a moment Kate almost believed that she could hear her heart actually swelling with happiness. She was relieved when Leah stepped back into a shadow to shear her sheep, and Kate was saved from trying to figure out what these strange new feelings meant.

EIGHTEEN

By 4.30 in the afternoon, Frankie and George had packed up their shearing equipment and left for the afternoon, promising to stay the next evening for the campfire. The girls finished cleaning up the shed and decided to call it a day.

“Well girls, I was thinking about going for a horse ride. Anyone want to join me?” Leah asked as they walked back towards the house.

“Yeah, I will” Kate answered, a little too quickly. Jess raised her eyebrows. Although she hadn’t gotten to spend much time in the shed during shearing- she had seen enough. She’d caught Leah staring at Kate more than a few times, and had noticed that Kate was increasingly awkward around Leah. Doubt and indecision coursed through Jess. While she had no problem with two girls being in a relationship- she did worry about the circumstances that surrounded it. After all, they were essentially workmates running a business. They made an amazing team and worked so well together to create a financially secure and enjoyable life on the farm. But when two workmates started a relationship, it could potentially become messy. Especially when Kate had never been with a girl before. Did she really like Leah? Or was she just on the rebound from Dylan? Jess didn’t want to lose her job on the farm if there was some messy fallout from a broken relationship- nor did she want to lose her friendships with either girl. But, she reasoned with herself- it was their business, and she had to let them sort it out, even if it ended badly.

“I might sit this one out girls, I’ve been on and off my horse chasing those sheep around all day. I thought I might get my guitar out for a bit and practise” Jess said, still not sure she was making the right decision. Still, the two girls would be left alone together sooner or later- may as well be sooner.

“Hey you should bring your guitar down to the fire tomorrow night- it’s just not a real campfire unless someone is playing guitar. What music do you play?” Kate asked, trying to cover up her sudden feeling of happiness at going riding alone with Leah.

“Country, of course. What else is there?”

“Good point” Kate grinned as Leah nodded emphatically, her curly hair bouncing around her head.

“Can you play us some Lee? Sunny Cowgirls? Adam Brand?” Leah asked, counting off the list of her favourite artists, Kate looking hopefully at Jess.

“Oh, and Kasey Chambers” Kate added, to Leah’s agreement.

“Yes, yes, yes, and yes” Jess grinned and waved, walking off towards the house. Left alone with Leah, Kate suddenly felt self-conscious again, and couldn’t think of a single thing to say. She usually couldn’t stop talking to Leah- they had become close friends. Thankfully, Leah kept talking about country music as the two girls called their horses from their paddock and saddled them up. They each swung up into their saddles and rode out into the one of the paddocks, Leah falling silent as they enjoyed the simple feeling of swaying peacefully as their horses walked calmly through a small swath of gum trees decorating the flat paddock.

“What do you say to a bit of a run?” Leah asked, spurring her horse into a run before Kate could even answer. Kate grinned happily and kicked her horse into a gallop, trying to catch up to the galloping Leah.

Finally, when the horses had tired of their gallop through the fields, Leah and Kate slowed them to a walk, chatting amiably about the farm work as they swayed along. Finally Kate changed the subject to a question she’d been wanting to ask for a long time.

“Hey, can I ask you something? It’s kinda personal...”

“I consider us pretty good mates now, so yeah, go for it” Leah shrugged.

“Did you always know you liked girls and not guys?” Leah thought her answer through for a minute.

“Well.. I guess I did.” Leah said thoughtfully.

“You guess?”

“Well it was during highschool of course when I first realised I was different to the other girls. But being gay wasn’t exactly as socially acceptable as it is now- especially in a small country school like in Deni. It was actually pretty rough- I never even told anyone that I was gay. I’m not even sure I admitted it to myself for a long time.” Leah explained.

“So that girl you were telling us about, who you fell in love with? What happened?”

“When I finished high-school, I was free to be gay. My parents never really cared- a little disappointed they’d never have a grandkid, but they were very supportive. But I never really met a girl I liked- there’s not a lot of gay girls in country towns. I was 21 when I met Sarah at a BnS ball. She referred to herself as bisexual and we were each other’s first girlfriend. We were together for a year, and I was crazy about her.”

“So what went wrong?”

“Turns out: she wasn’t gay at all”

“WHAT?!”

“I went to visit her one evening and found her in bed with some bloke. I guess she was just confused, cos I heard she’s only dated guys ever since me.”

“And you’ve been single ever since?”

“Sort of.”

“Sort of?” Kate asked, watching Leah in confusion.

“Well actually, I was with a guy once, after that.” Leah announced to Kate’s surprise.

“Really? Are you bisexual?”

“No, I definitely only like girls. I was just so sick of being different, of being some weird lesbian freak and never finding a nice, country girl who likes farming as much as I do. I was really depressed for weeks after me and Sarah broke up, and one night I ended up at a pub in Deni completely drunk off my face, and this nice-looking guy was hitting on me, buying me drinks. This other bloke down the end of the pub, who I knew from highschool, started making fun of me in front of this guy, saying that I’m this lezzo freak, you know? And I just got so angry. So I start making out with the nice guy, right then and there. And we ended up in bed together that night. It was just... horrible. It was so boring, and just felt totally wrong. I mean, he was a nice guy, but it just felt wrong. Imagine if you slept with a girl: it’d probably feel wrong to you” Leah said, adjusting her horses reins as she spoke, not looking at Kate.

For a minute, Kate DID think about what it might be like to be with a girl- to be with Leah. And to her surprise, the image came to her easily, and didn’t make her feel wrong at all. Infact she felt an unexpected stirring of desire course through her as she imagined circling her arm around Leah’s slender waist and drawing her close, as she imagined being inches away from Leah and staring into those bright green eyes as she pulled Leah into a kiss. Suddenly, Leah’s horse danced impatiently a little bit, snapping Kate out of her daydream as her skin glowed a dull red. Thankfully, Leah was concentrating on staying in the saddle, and wasn’t paying attention to Kate’s embarrassment.

“Well I think Davey here wants to go for another run” Leah announced, letting her impatient horse have its freedom. He instantly broke into an easy canter, and Kate had to hurry to adjust her own horse’s reins and coax Sally to follow Leah- a welcome distraction to the thoughts that now swarmed through Kate’s head- thoughts she was definitely not used to thinking. She had always liked men- she’d only ever dated men. Surely that was just the way it was? Did people really change- or was she just like Leah’s ex Sarah- a confused girl who wanted to experiment? Kate was glad to feel the wind sweeping through her long hair as her horse galloped to catch up to Leah- the cool breeze finally forced the confusing thoughts out of Kate’s head, so she could simply enjoy her evening with Leah.

NINETEEN

The huge campfire crackled away merrily as the 3 girls, George, Frankie, and Debbie sat in their camp-chairs in a circle around the fire, drinking beers and watching the flames as they devoured the red gum logs they had fed it. They’d already eaten the beautiful roast Debbie had cooked- a spit roast she had started cooking over the fire while the shearing team were finished up the last few sheep.

Jess had brought her guitar along as requested, and had already churned through some of Kate and Leah’s favourite Lee Kernaghan songs, and was now playing an old Slim Dusty song. Frankie, and George, who were both getting a little tipsy after more than a few beers, raised their bottles and cheered loudly as Jess finished the song, her strong and perfectly pitched voice warming the cool night air.

“Ah, raise your glasses to old Slim, rest his soul” Frankie said sorrowfully, raising her beer into the air in a toast.

“He was a true blue Aussie gentleman” George added sadly, clinking his bottle against Frankie’s and taking a long swig. The others nodded sadly- Slim Dusty was one of the most famous and well-loved country musicians in recent decades- and had sadly passed away a few years back- leaving country folk everywhere to listen to his songs and remember that beloved man.

“Kate” Frankie called, changing the subject, “I wanted to talk to you about this wonderful farm you’ve created. Come and sit by me” Frankie nodded to a large log that was rolled next to her chair. Kate walked over to her and Leah could hear snatches of their conversation as Jess, who was sitting next to her, played a soft melody on her guitar, the notes rising and falling in a sweet chorus. It sounded like Frankie was praising Kate and the girls for all the success they’d gained through their relentless efforts and hard work, slogging day after day at the never ending list of chores the farm threw at them every day.

“So, how did your horse ride with Kate go yesterday?” Jess interrupted quietly, still picking out the sweet music on her guitar as she talked.

“What do you mean?” Leah asked defensively.

“Look, I know it’s none of my business, but is there something going on between you guys? You’ve been weird around each other all week.” Leah buried her head in her hands for a long minute. She was finally having to admit to herself that she liked Kate- but that brought on a whole host of other problems. She didn’t want to get hurt again, or lose her friendship with Kate, or her beloved job on the farm.

“Alright,” Leah finally said slowly, “I like Kate. I really like her”. Finally admitting this out loud made it all the more real for Leah- she couldn’t keep denying her feelings for Kate.

“So what are you going to do?” Jess prompted as her fingers flew over her guitar strings.

“I don’t know. Kate likes guys- I can’t change that. And I don’t want to be some experiment. It wasn’t that long ago Kate broke up with Dylan- I don’t want her to convince herself she wants me when she’s just lonely.”

“Is that all you’re worried about?”

“Well no, I mean- we’ve set up such a sweet deal here. We’ve brought more sheep, we’ve got the garden going now, the chickens are going well. I really love it here. And I love my friendship with Kate- she’s become my best mate. I don’t want to risk those things by saying anything to her.”

Jess nodded but didn’t answer as she played her song. Leah’s thoughts reflected her own. It was an awkward situation. It would all depend on how Kate felt, and whether Kate would act on those feelings. 

“So what are you going to do?” Jess asked.

“I don’t know. I mean, it sucks to have to hide my feelings for her- but at least I’d get to keep her as a friend.”

“You don’t think she likes you back?” Jess asked, thinking of the strange way Kate acted around Leah.

“It hadn’t occurred to me actually- I just assumed she liked guys, and that’s the way it is. Why, do you think she does?”

“I think you should give it a bit more time and let things just develop. I know that must be really hard to do, but pushing Kate now might just scare her away. You might just have to sit back and let the future happen- Kate will figure things out sooner or later, one way or the other” Jess said fairly as she began to strum a different song on her guitar. Her warm voice opened up again, singing a peaceful Kasey Chambers song that always made Leah feel comforted in times of trouble- not that Jess could possibly have known that. Leah willed herself to focus on the music and relax, trying to do as Jess had suggested and let go of worries and fears she couldn’t fix or change right now, and simply enjoy her night around the campfire with her friends.

TWENTY

 ONE MONTH LATER

“Girls, you won’t believe the phone call I just got” Kate called excitedly as she ran towards her two friends, who were in the shed cleaning and oiling some of the farm utes.

Jess and Leah stopped what they were doing and waited in anticipation as Kate caught her breath after running from the house where she had taken the phone call.

“I just spoke to a guy named Derek, he owns the High Country Store” Kate panted, wiping the sweat from her forehead- summer was quickly on its way. She caught her breath and continued; “he actually owns 6 stores, all throughout the High Country. They are all the main suppliers of vegetables and meat to their local areas. Apparently mum invited him over for dinner the other night, which I didn’t know about of course, but he was so rapt with her cooking that he’s begged her to supply him with pre-cooked dishes to freeze, package and sell as ready-made made frozen meals at his stores! Mum’s going to call them “Debbie’s Dinners”- she’s absolutely stoked! She can’t believe it!” Kate explained, speaking quickly in her excitement. Jess and Leah grinned and started saying how happy they were for Debbie, when Kate continued.

“Wait, that’s not all! He was so impressed to learn that all the ingredients in her meals came right from this farm, that he’s offered us a contract. And not a small contract either- a big one. He wants us to supply him with lamb, chickens and eggs all year round- not to mention whatever organic veggies we grow” Kate finished, running forward to hug each of the girls in turn- lingering just a little too long with Leah.

“Are you serious?” Jess crowed, dancing on the spot in delight.

“Yes! Do you girls know what this means? We’ll finally have a decent income coming into this farm- I can finally stop worrying about how I’m going to meet the mortgage and bills every month. And it means you guys can stay working here as long as you like- forever if you want!” Kate announced gleefully as Jess and Leah gave each other another hug of happiness. Suddenly, their joy was broken by a high-pitched strange barking noise- the sounds of a dog in pain. Turning pale, Leah ran outside with Kate and Jess following on her heels. Kate saw Leah’s dog Blue, who was dragging himself along the ground and frothing at the mouth- out of the corner of her eye she saw the serpentine movement of a snake gliding away.

“Jess, grab the gun, there’s a fucking snake!” Kate swore as Leah started yelling in despair, falling to her knees next to her beloved Blue. He was her favourite of her 5 dogs- one half of her breeding pair- his mate Red was back at the house with her year old pups. Tears coursed down Leah’s pale cheeks as she gently cradled Blue, trying to comfort him from his pain and fear as the snake’s venom coursed through his small body. Blue kept trying to stand, but his muscles collapsed beneath him, his body suffering the effects of the fast-acting venom. Kate knelt next to Leah, trying to hold her and comfort her, her heart breaking as her ears filled with the sound of Leah’s distressed cries. Dimly she was aware of Jess cocking the shotgun a few metres away, the loud blow of the shot ringing across the landscape as she hunted for the snake that had poisoned Blue.

“Killed the bastard” Jess panted, running back to Leah and Kate. Quietly, she pulled a second shotgun bullet from her pocket and loaded it into the gun, raising her eyebrows at Kate in a silent question.

Kate knew there was no choice- the dog was now twitching and vomiting on the ground, the venom too strong for his body to take. He would die a painful death long before Kate would be able to find a vet with a supply of the anti-venom that was needed to save his life. She stood up, gently pulling Leah with her, whispering comforting words as she wrapped her arms around Leah and drew her into a hug, turning her head gently away from the sight of Jess as she lifted the gun and lined the end up against Blue’s head. Kate pulled Leah closer, guarding her from the horror as Jess pulled the trigger, the blast ringing through their ears a second time as Jess put Blue out of his misery. Kate continued to hold Leah close for what seemed an age as Leah cried loudly, her tears soaking through the shirt on Kate’s shoulder. Kate noticed Jess walk away, but ignored her and focused on comforting Leah as she cried, her body shaking with the effort of her emotion. All Kate wanted to do was protect Leah- it was breaking her heart to see her so upset. Leah clung to her and sobbed, and all Kate could do was pull her in closer and whisper comforting words in her ear. Finally Jess came back, tapping Kate on the shoulder and handing her a large towel. Kate finally let Leah go, and gently wrapped Blue’s broken body in the towel, carrying him carefully as Jess lead the way over to a nearby grove of gum trees. There was a fresh grave dug in the dirt under the trees- Jess must have been digging it while Kate comforted Leah. Quietly, Kate handed the wrapped body of Blue to Leah who gently placed him in his small grave in the shadow of the soaring mountains that ringed Merrijig- a peaceful place for any farm dog to be laid to rest. The girls stood there for some time, listening to the sounds of the galahs in the trees and the bleat of sheep in nearby paddocks as they comforted Leah and patiently waited for her to say goodbye to her friend Blue.

TWENTY ONE

The last few weeks of spring hurtled by at a phenomenal speed as Kate, Leah and Jess worked hard to buy more sheep, send other sheep and chickens off to the slaughterhouse, and run around tending to baby lambs that were being birthed by the few sheep that were still lambing. As for Debbie, her ‘Debbie’s Dinners’ frozen meals had been a phenomenal success- so much so that Debbie soon called them together, saying she had a surprise announcement to make.

“Ta-da!!” She had exclaimed proudly, throwing open the door to the same old shed that Dylan had set up his Poker den in. Yet again Kate was amazed to find that it was what she least expected- instead of the mess of booze bottles and porno mags; the place was completely clean.

“It’s empty” Kate remarked, wondering what exactly Debbie was showing them. Leah and Jess stood behind her, peering into the gloomy shadows of the large shed, clearly sharing Kate’s confusion.

“It’s empty at the moment” Debbie agreed, “but not for long. Your father, wonderful man, had a life insurance policy. I haven’t thought about it for a long time- to be honest I didn’t want to think about it. And besides, we needed money in savings for a rainy day. But you and your friends have done such a wonderful job securing the farm’s income with the new suppliers, I thought we could afford a small investment.”

“What investment?”” Kate repeated, raising her eyebrows at her mother.

“Debbie’s Kitchen!” Debbie announced. Noting they still looked confused, she continued, “Well I can hardly keep making my ‘Dinners’ in our small house kitchen can I? So I’ve ordered a team of builders to come out tomorrow to start building me a giant kitchen! They say it’ll be done by the end of next week. Not only that, the supermarket wants so many of my meals that I’ve hired a lady named Joan from Merrijig to help me cook them all.”

The girls had stood in shock for a second, absorbing the unexpected news. Another second went by, then they all started screaming and cheering in excitement at once, madly hugging Debbie as they congratulated her.

By the end of another 3 weeks, with the hot days of early summer truly upon them, Debbie’s kitchen was a declared a success. Her assistant, Joan, was a friendly widow herself, who soon made fast friends with Debbie. ‘Debbie’s Dinners’ were already the talk of the town- a fact that impressed on Kate only too clearly when she got an unexpected phone message on her answering machine. She’d just walked inside the door with Jess and Leah close on her heels, and had flicked the play button on the answering machine as she walked into the kitchen where Debbie was finishing up dinner for them. The machine beeped loudly and a female voice came crackling through the speakers.

“Hello, this is a message for Kate Thompson. This is Linda calling from the High Country Newspaper. We’ve heard about your farm through one of your buyers, The High Country Store, and we also love ‘Debbie’s Dinners’. We’d really like to have you and the girls appear in an article we’re writing about women in farming, due to appear in the paper next weekend. Please call me back if you’re interested” the voice had said, adding a phone number onto the end of her message.

The girls had celebrated all evening, and Kate had rung them back early the next morning. The newspaper’s team had come out the very next day, and interviewed all 4 women about the changes in the farm since Gary had died, and the ideas and techniques the 4 of them had implemented that had brought in financial success and security to a previously troubled farm. Kate had to hide a smile when she met Linda, a short and busy woman in a skirt-suit who tottered and stumbled over the dusty ground in her high heels as she organised Debbie and the girls into a pose so she could take a photo for the newspaper.

“I have no idea how she hasn’t fallen over yet” Leah had whispered in Kate’s ear, sending a shiver down her neck. Ever since she’d held Leah as her dog Blue had died a month ago, she’d felt like an over-inflated balloon, her skin bursting with a sort of adrenaline-like feeling. She was always aware of exactly where Leah stood in the room- it was as if Kate could sense the very shift of air when Leah so much as took a step towards her; the hairs on the back of Kate’s neck would rise whenever Leah walked by her.  When Leah was gone, she felt strangely empty. She had never felt anything like it before- and she had no idea what it meant, or what to do about it. The newspaper interviews were a welcome distraction- as was Jess’s idea of a celebration that coming weekend- the same day the paper came out.

“I can’t believe how many utes there are everywhere” Jess exclaimed from her seat next to the utes windows. Kate looked out across the steering wheel at the long line of utes and battered four wheel drives that were lined up in front of her at the front gate of a huge empty field. Looking in her rear-view mirror, she realised an even longer line sinewed through the roads behind her, the metal on the car roofs glaring in the late afternoon sun.

“You were the one who suggested we come to the Rodeo to celebrate- I thought you knew what you were getting yourself into!” Leah exclaimed from her spot- squeezed tightly into the utes bench seat between Kate and Jess. Kate was acutely aware of every millimetre of her skin that brushed against Leah’s- it sent waves of electricity through her body whenever their skin touched. Kate took a deep breath and concentrated on joining in the conversation.

“The Merrijig Rodeo is the place to be” Kate explained, “everyone who is anyone in Merrijig is here- plus all the country folk from within coo-ee of this place- hell, cowboys and girls drive all the way down from northern Australia to ride in the rodeo”. Gradually the line of utes in front of them crawled through the gates, and Kate found a spot to park her car in the field set up as a carpark.

“God, the pub will be doing a roaring trade tonight” Leah remarked, noting the huge amount of people that lingered around the entry buying their tickets. Kate grinned happily- this was her type of crowd. Everyone was decked out in traditional country clothing- oilskin coats and hats, jeans, work singlets and boots, checked shirts. Kate and her friends were dressed exactly the same way- it was just the way it was out there on the dusty, dirty farms where clothes had to be tough and strong- much like the people who wore them. She supposed some people might call her a bogan or a redneck for being so stereotypically country- she hardly cared. This was her place- her people. This was where she belonged. And she was there with her two best friends- that made it all the much better.

The girls brought their tickets and walked into the massive crowd, who were seated on the ground or on camp-chairs, surrounding a gigantic oval enclosure. On either end of the oval rode several stockmen on horses- stockwhips and rope ready in their hands should a bull go astray and charge a fallen rider. On the other side of the oval, a set of small metal enclosures encased the bulls. All along the rim of the enclosures sat the bull-riders- their jeans covered in leather chaps, well-worn cowboy hats adorning their heads as they laughed amongst themselves and prepared for their turn to ride their bull. Kate was pleased to note that several of the bull-riders were women- some her own age she guessed- though it was hard to tell from this far away. Some even appeared to be teenagers- they would be riding smaller and slightly less ferocious bulls. Kate watched as one of the bull enclosures slammed suddenly open, a bull coming out already kicking and bucking in its attempt to kick off its rider, who was bending his body in a skilled attempt at maintaining his balance to stay on. He lasted several long seconds before being bucked off- the stockmen on their horses rushing forward to protect the man from the bull, and herd the bull back into his enclosure. Kate was more pleased when she saw how well the stock-hands in the bull enclosure treated the animal afterwards- they were letting him calm down, offering him food and water and checking that he was ok. Rodeos were often accused of animal cruelty- Kate guess that to an outsider’s point of view it certainly could appear that way. However, not only did events such as rodeos bring much needed money and attention to small country towns who often struggled financially- they also allowed cattlemen and women to practise real skills that they would really need out on large cattle stations- where cows, bulls and horses roamed free on the endless plains and became wild- needing to be caught and tamed again in mustering season. Skills such as roping and catching wild bulls and horses were certainly still needed, even in modern day society. Besides, it was almost impossible for a human rider who weighed all of 60-80kgs to hurt the massive bulls- several times their size and weight. All the humans did was wear their energy down a bit so they could catch them and pen them again.

Kate stood watching the riders for awhile, trying to distract herself from the knowledge that Leah stood bare centimetres from her- Kate swore she could feel the hair on the arm closest to Leah rising. Leah looked gorgeous today- decked out in a checked farm shirt that brought out the green in her eyes; an Akubra stock-hat jammed on top of red curly hair. Kate kept her eyes straight ahead- watching the bull-riders, but out of the corner of eye she kept seeing Leah- causing her heart to flutter and palpate with adrenaline.

Jess stood on Leah’s other side, and almost sighed in frustration. She was getting a little sick of watching Leah and Kate dance around each other. Leah had confessed weeks ago at the campfire after shearing season that she liked Kate- and yet hadn’t said anything to her, fearing Kate- who had only dated men before- would be disgusted and end their friendship. And yet Jess seemed to be the only one who noticed Kate’s constant awkwardness around Leah- the way Kate’s eyes followed her when she walked, the way Kate’s movements seemed to be linked to Leah’s. Jess still worried about the fallout that might occur should their relationship turn sour. On the other hand, Kate and Leah had been acting like this for weeks- maybe Kate just needed a nudge in the right direction to force her to deal with the issue. Either way, it had to be sorted out- the tension between them was doing no one any good in the long run.

Her chance came over an hour later when Leah spotted one of the retail stands that had been set up. The retailers were proper retailers who ran stores in the larger towns of Mansfield and Bonnie Doon- selling everything from country clothing to work boots to stockwhips. They were often present at country gatherings- it was a perfect environment to sell their wares and advertise their businesses.

“I’m going to go look at what stockwhips they have for sale,“ Leah said, nodding towards a stand selling leather goods, “I need a new one. The old one just doesn’t want to crack anymore, no matter how many times I re-tie the damn thing.” Leah began to walk away and Kate, predictably, went to follow her. Jess stepped in quickly, grabbing Kate on the arm.

“Me and Kate are just going to grab a few beers, we’ll get one for you.’ Jess called after Leah, pulling Kate in the opposite direction, towards the makeshift bar set up near the entrance.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Jess hissed at Kate, who looked confused.

“I like stockwhips too, I’d like to go look at them. Why the hell did you drag me over here?” Kate complained in a defensive voice.

“I’m not talking about the stockwhips- I’m talking about you and Leah. You’re acting really weird around her- whenever she comes near you, your face turns bright red and you stop talking. Kate, I can’t read your mind- but I can tell you what it looks like to me. Do you have feelings for Leah?”

“We’re good mates-”

“Yes, I know that. But something more than that is going on I think.”

“It hasn’t been that long since I broke up with Dylan-“

“It’s been months- besides you stopped having feelings for him ages ago-“

“I don’t know what’s going on, honestly, I don’t”

“Kate; you’re lying to yourself if you really think you two are just mates.”

“I’m not a lesbian”

“Does it matter? You have to go where your heart tells you to go. Life is too short to make excuses. Figure out what you want from life, and then go for it” Seeing Leah walking back towards them with a new stockwhip in her hands, Jess put on a bright, innocent smile.

 “I see you brought a new whip” Jess remarked in her normal voice as she reached out to examine the stockwhip.

“6 foot long, kangaroo leather” Leah announced proudly. Jess kept her busy talking about the whip- giving Kate a minute to recompose herself. She seemed a bit shell-shocked and was staring off into space. Jess hoped she’d snap out of it before Leah noticed.

“How about we go to the pub, grab some dinner?” Jess suggested loudly, causing Kate to jump slightly as she snapped out of her daydream. Her skin flushed red, and Jess sighed to herself- it seemed like she’d finally forced Kate to admit that she had feelings for Leah. Now, Jess would just have to wait and see what would happen. She turned and walked towards the pub, Kate finally talking again as she chatted away to Leah about the rodeo. Hopefully Leah and Kate could be mature about the whole thing and no one would get hurt- but Jess certainly was very worried. Their business on the farm together was at stake depending on what decisions would be made in the coming weeks- not to mention the impact it would have on their mutual friendships.

By 11 o’clock, Jess felt like she was the only sober person in the whole pub. She was the designated driver, and was sitting alone on a barstool at the bar, watching Kate and Leah dance drunkenly out on the dance floor, singing loudly along with a Sunny Cowgirls song.

“Designated Driver tonight?” asked a warm male voice. Jess turned back to the bar to find a handsome bartender about her own age smiling to her. He had dark brown hair and rich golden eyes, set against the tanned skin of a man who spent most of his life outdoors.

“Unfortunately, yes” Jess said with a smile.

“Ben” the bartender introduced himself, reaching a hand out across the bar towards her.

“Jess” she replied, reaching out to shake his hand. She noted happily that he had rough, calloused hands- clearly a man who worked a physical job. He probably tended the bar at night to earn extra money- and had another job in the day. Ben smiled brilliantly at her, and Jess couldn’t help but grin back- his cheerful smile was infectious.

“Here you go” he said, pouring her a tall glass of lemonade and putting a cocktail umbrella in the top. He winked as he handed it to her and said, “on the house”.

Oh god, he’s flirting with me, thought Jess, noting to her embarrassment that she was a bit too pleased about it. She’d been single for almost 6 months now- it had been a long time. Realising she had to play it cool, she simply thanked him and took a sip of her drink.

“Your friends are creating some interest in the local blokes, I think” Ben announced, nodding at Jess to look behind her. She turned and found that Kate and Leah, in their drunken humour, were dirty dancing with each other, showing off for the cheering boys who were egging them on. Jess laughed loudly, and turned back to Ben. He grinned back at her.

“Are they dating each other?” He asked, obviously trying to strike up a conversation.

“Oh god, if only they could figure that out for themselves, it would make all our lives easier”

“Are you dating anyone?” Came the unexpected reply.

“No,” Jess said calmly, still trying to play it cool. Before she knew it, Ben was chatting to her in between taking drink orders and pulling beers out of the fridge- and he was definitely flirting with her. They struck up a friendly conversation for the next half an hour as Kate and Leah danced to country music on the dance floor- until Jess realised with a feeling of horror that she could hear heavy rain pouring outside. Looking up, she realised that over the sound of the loud music playing, she hadn’t heard the storm approaching- and it was now well and truly upon them.

“Oh, shit, gotta go!” Jess said, realising that she’d have to get the girls sobered up and back to the farm straight away- storms could mean fires, wind damage, or flooding- and they’d have to go back to the farm to deal with anything that might happen.

“Wait, where can I find you?” Ben called out after her as she jumped off her barstool and tugged her two friends, who were still dancing wildly, off the dance-floor and towards the door.

“Thompson Farm!” Jess yelled back as she pushed her friends into the sheet of rain now hammering down on them. Within minutes Leah and Kate had sobered up a little under the soaking effect of the rain, and began to realise as Jess drove them home that they needed to be prepared to work. Storms required all hands on deck for whatever happened- and this looked to be turning into a bad storm. There would be a lot of work for them to do tonight.

TWENTY TWO

Luckily, despite the fact they’d both had a few too many drinks, Kate and Leah had managed to sober up quite well. Within minutes of arriving home, all three girls had decked themselves out in oilskin coats and hats in an attempt to keep themselves from getting drenched in the sheets of rain that were pelting down. Jess wasn’t particularly surprised that a storm had come on so suddenly- the weather in southern Australia was notoriously tricky, and a sunny morning could turn into a snowy, wintry afternoon. A warm clear afternoon could be overtaken by grey clouds and gale force winds within a matter of hours.

Realising that the torrential rain out on the paddocks would only mean one thing- flooding- the three girls hurried to saddle up their horses and ride out. Motorbikes or cars would only get bogged out in the wet paddocks, and there was a lot of work to do. The sheep were their most immediate concern- they had a way of panicking and trapping themselves in corners of paddocks- allowing themselves to become surrounded by rivers of flood water. Jess could only imagine the number of drowned, bloated sheep she’d find spread through the paddocks tomorrow if the girls didn’t go out and herd them to safety. Along with the girls came their best and most-well trained dogs- Jess’s Digger, Leah’s Red and one of her kelpie pups, and both of Kate’s dogs- Heckle and Speckle.

Kate could barely see through the rain as she urged Sally into a light trot- it was too dangerous to run, with the ground even and sodden with the rain. Already, Kate could see the river that bordered the property rising- it was phenomenal, how quickly the flood water could turn a quiet stream into a thundering, churning mass of torrential water. If the girls fell in, they would be drowned- t hey wouldn’t be able to keep their heads above that. If the sheep were on the other side, they were already doomed.

To the girls relief, the sheep were on their side of the swelling river- but were still in terrible danger of being swept into the rising waters. Kate realised that the sheep had already panicked- they were stupid creatures and simply huddled together against the fence line, bleating hopelessly as the water crept towards them. Whistling to the dogs, she sent them around in an arch behind the sheep- Kate watched carefully, prepared to call her dogs back to her as they ran dangerously close to the water line. She jumped off Sally and tied her rains around her neck- leaving Sally to run free. Leah and Jess did the same- the horses were smart enough to find a safe place away from the water, as long as their reins were safely tied up so they wouldn’t get caught on something.

Carefully the girls crept around the edges of the sheep- not wanting to spook the scared creatures. The dogs were now behind the sheep and starting barking and nipping at the heels of sheep. With a growing frustration, Kate realised that the sheep were too stubborn and scared to even move- they were simply jostling amongst themselves, trying to get away from the growling sheep dogs without actually moving anywhere. Jess and Leah saw this too, and all three girls waded in to the huddle of sheep, yelling and screaming at the sheep, physically pushing them with their whole bodily weight, forcing the sheep to start walking. Continuing to make as much noise as possible, they kept pushing various sheep, trying to get just one of them to start leading the mob to safety. To the girl’s right, the churning river was still rising- Kate had to call Heckle to come to her to keep the dog from being swept into the river and killed- the dog’s keen sense of hearing making it possible for him to hear her over the deafening sounds of the pouring rain and roaring wind. Finally, the barking of the dogs and the physical weight of the girls pushing the sheep around were too much for the animals- one of them finally broke away, heading uphill and away from danger. The rest of the mob- being herd animals- followed meekly behind the lead sheep, finally running to safety, still being herded in the right direction by the loyal dogs. The girls were exhausted- they were breathing heavily and stood with their hands on their hips, trying to catch their breath. The night had only just begun- they’d still need all the energy they could muster to make it through the rest of what was looking to be a long night.

The storm finally let up after 3am, and the girls, thoroughly exhausted, simply threw off their wet clothes and collapsed into their beds for a few short hours of rest. By 6am they were up again, stumbling tiredly through a quick breakfast of toast, and heading back out to assess the damage on the farm. The house and main sheds looked worse for wear- sheets of tin roofing had been blown off the shed roof by the strong winds that had come sweeping in along with the rain. Trees had fallen down, crushing fences under them. Sheep would be milling around sodden and wet in the wrong paddocks- Kate knew that a few of them would be dead, drowned under the rising flood waters of the river or dams.

The girls worked together through the morning, doing emergency repairs to broken fences around the property. They split up during the afternoon- Kate went out in the ute with Jess to find the dead bodies of sheep and place them in the ute tray. Eventually, they had collected all the bodies and had placed them in a big pile in a paddock, dousing them in kerosene and setting the pile on fire, burning the bodies. Keeping the fire in view, they headed back to where Leah was working on bolting sheets of tin back onto the wall of one of sheds. Kate jumped out of the ute to help her, and Jess continued driving back to the house to get some supplies.

Kate knelt down next to Leah, picking up the screws and the cordless drill and helping Leah to bolt the tin down.

“Well,” Leah said drily as she held the tin in place, “last night was certainly interesting”. Kate laughed- glad that now they were safe, they could joke about the terrible night.

“It was a bloody long night” Kate yawned tiredly.

“It wasn’t all bad though... was it?” Leah asked, her quiet voice causing Kate to turn and look at her. Kate felt as if she was drowning in Leah’s eyes- her whole spirit felt like a magnet drawn to her. Kate felt a rush of nerves bubble up through her chest. Her heart was beating a million miles an hour as slowly, like the world was in slow motion, she watched Leah reach out a hand to push a strand of hair that was in Kate’s eyes back off her face. Kate’s mouth went dry and her heart kept hammering- an incessant heavy beat clouding her hearing. She placed her shaking own hand over Leah’s, holding it delicately.

“Kate, I’ve been wanting to say something to you for awhile...” Leah whispered softly, her lips hypnotising Kate as she spoke. It was like Kate suddenly had tunnel-vision- all she could see was Leah’s soft lips set against her pretty face. Kate’s mind went blissfully, ecstatically blank as she slowly leant forward towards Leah, drawing her lips towards hers. She was mere centimetres away, slowly drinking the moment in, trying to hold it and preserve this feeling of anticipation, the feeling of drunken desire she had surely never felt before. It had never been like this with Dylan, nor any other boyfriend she’d had. She inched towards Leah, her lips about to touch-

“Kate, Leah! You gotta come over here, we have a visitor!” came the yelling voice of Jess.

“Fuck!” Kate swore under her breath, pulling away from Leah as they both turned beet-red in embarrassment. They both stood, suddenly not knowing what to say. Kate realised she still held Leah’s hand in hers- she didn’t want to let go.

“I better go sort this out” Kate whispered, drawing Leah along with her, only letting go of her hand at the last possible moment as they rounded the corner to the house. Kate’s feeling of happiness suddenly evaporated as she recognised the familiar purple Holden pulled up outside their farmhouse, and watched the swagger of the man as he ran towards her and swept her up in a fierce hug, lifting her off the ground in his excitement.

“Dylan!” She squeaked in argument, barely able to speak under Dylan’s crushing hug. She could see nothing but his chest and his arms as he held her in the tight bear hug. Dimly she heard the sounds of a diesel engine starting up and frantically fought her way out of Dylan’s arms. Horrified, she saw Leah’s four wheel drive speeding off down the driveway. Jess stood looking hopelessly at the car speeding away. Kate felt her heart stop as she realised what Leah must have seen- Leah whose heart had been broken before by a girl who had then run off with a guy, leaving Leah behind. Leah had seen Dylan, Kate’s once serious boyfriend, run up and grab Kate- she had not stopped to be hurt twice, and must have run. Jess caught Kate’s eye, a horrified look on her face. Frantically, Kate rounded on Dylan, who was grinning happily at her, oblivious to the damage he’d just done.

“I’m so glad you’re ok” he laughed, patting her again on the shoulder. Kate took a step back, where he couldn’t reach her.

“What are you doing here?” she said, trying to remain civil under an onslaught of worry.

“I came to check on you, of course. That storm last night did heaps of damage throughout town- everyone’s had a long day repairing it all. I thought you might need help”

“Thankyou, but no. I have the girls to help me. Sorry, but I really have to go.”

“Kate, come on. I can still see heaps of damage around your farm- fences down, trees down, sheds fallen apart. You need a guy to help you out”. Dylan reasoned, trying to calm Kate down. But to Kate, it was the old him all over again- condescending, arrogant- believing that she and her friends needed some man around to deal with the real farm work.

“I don’t need a guy to do ANYTHING for me!” She hissed, losing control as all of her old anger took hold of her, and her mind filled with a white hot rage; “I especially don’t need any help from you. You are the one who needs bloody help. I’ve found all your stashes of alcohol now, your little men’s shed you set up with all that porn. I’ve spent weeks going around fixing all the jobs you and your stupid mate Sean didn’t do properly on the farm- all the half-built fences, the vehicles that weren’t maintained properly, the starving sheep. So don’t you stand there, treating me like some silly little girl who can’t look after herself. I can do bloody fine with Jess and Leah.”

Dylan looked at her for a long second in shocked silence.

“The shed was Sean’s” he finally said quietly, “honestly all the alcohol was his- I barely drink”

“You’re either lying to me, or you’re in serious denial. Almost every night for months you came stumbling into our bed, stinking of rum and beer. Some nights I actually snuck out and slept on the couch, just to get some fresh air. I was glad when you moved out to the shearers quarters”

“If it was so bad, why didn’t you break up with me earlier?” Dylan defended himself.

“Because my dad wanted you around, and he wouldn’t trust me with the farm. And because deep down I still cared about you and I wanted to help you. But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.”

“I don’t need help- like I said, it was mostly Sean’s stuff”

“Bullshit, Dylan! Wake up to yourself, and get some bloody help! Now, leave me the hell alone, I have to go find my friend.” Kate waved him away, exasperated and over the conversation.

“Wait, Kate, OK! OK! I’ll be honest... I need help. I haven’t had anything other than casual jobs for months- not since you kicked me off here. I’ve been living at my parents house- no-one will hire me because I’m not reliable. Please. I read the newspaper article about you guys. I was so proud of you Kate, for doing so well. I still love you- I know we can work it out, give us another go. I can come back and work for you on the farm.” Kate felt a horrifying dawning feeling rise within her at his mention of the newspaper article- was he really that shallow and selfish?

“Is that the real reason you’re here? That newspaper article? You heard that we were financially secure and successful, and you wanted in?” she said, knowing as she watched his face that she was right. He was exactly the same- he cared only about himself. He just wanted back in, now that the farm had money again.

“I need a job Kate. Please. For old time sakes” he pleaded, looking sadly into her eyes, “Besides, you really need help around here. You can’t do it all with just some little blonde city girl, and a bloody dyke to help you.” Kate had almost felt sorry for him, but now her anger flared up again- she was furious.

“That ‘city-girl’ and that ‘dyke’ happen to be my two best friends, and they got this farm to where it is to now. Now, get the hell off my farm” she ordered, pointing towards his car with a hand that was shaking from the adrenaline of her anger.

“Fuck you, Kate. You always were a bitch” he hissed, turning to stomp towards his car, muttering more insults under his breath. She stood in the driveway, arms crossed to control her angry shaking, glaring at him and waiting for him to leave. Suddenly, he stopped walking and turned, giving her a sly, cold look.

“You know, it’s pathetic how that dyke chick pants after you- I saw the way she looked at you last time at the pub” He smirked. Kate had never liked that know-it-all asshole smirk. Seeing it now pissed her off even further.

“It’s lesbian.” She hissed drily, not wanting to yell at him anymore- she just wanted him gone.

“What?”

“The correct term is lesbian. Or gay. Not dyke, that’s just insulting. Nothing wrong with being gay.”

“Why do you care? Unless you’re a dyke now too? No guy will have you now?’ he smiled arrogantly, turning to open the door of his car.

“Get stuffed, you bastard!”. Kate spat after him as he climbed in his car and sped off. Looking around, Kate realised that Jess had gone, not wanting to stay around for the argument. Guilt, anxiety and adrenaline all coursed through Kate. She felt nauseous under the weight of it all, and squatted down on the ground as she struggled not to vomit. Minutes passed as Kate tried to catch her breath and shift the heavy feeling in her stomach. She needed to talk to someone- she could no longer deal with all the thoughts swirling through her head by herself. Jess had left- Kate hoped she wasn’t thinking about quitting her job. But Kate couldn’t deal with that now. Sometimes all a girl needs is her mother- and that’s exactly what Kate needed. Whirling, she ran inside to find Debbie.

TWENTY THREE

Inside, she leaned over the sink in the kitchen, resting her weight on her arms as she stared out the window at the angry clouds left in the darkening sky from last night, the threat of another storm painted in their depths. She still felt sick, and tears were starting to slide down her cheeks and onto the bench under her hands. Debbie came and found her in the kitchen, and went straight over to her crying daughter.

“I heard the whole thing” Debbie remarked, placing an arm around Kate’s shoulders. Anguished, Kate turned and sobbed in her mother’s arms. They stood for a long while, until finally Kate’s cries subsided enough for her to talk.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Debbie asked when Kate had caught her breath.

“Oh god, if only I knew what was going on. I’m so confused. Leah is my best friend, and the life we’ve set up here with Jess is precious to me. I don’t want to lose her. But I have all these feelings for her- I feel like my whole soul is crying out for her- it sounds really weird I know, but whenever she is with me I’m happy, whenever she is away- well I just look forward to her coming back again.”

“Do you think it’s just a temporary thing- maybe it’ll go away?” Debbie responded thoughtfully

“I don’t think so. I’ve been feeling this way for awhile now- only it keeps getting stronger. You don’t think I’m a freak or something do you?” Kate asked, suddenly realising she didn’t know how her mother thought about gay relationships.

“Definitely not, I have no problem with you being with Leah- if that’s what you truly want. I just don’t want you to get hurt- and I don’t want Leah to get hurt either. And it’d be a serious relationship- you already live together, and run a farm together. If it didn’t work out, she would have to leave the farm, and your friendship with Jess might be in danger. It would be hard for her to get caught in the middle. Not that you can worry about that right now” Debbie added quickly, realising she’d thrown another problem into the works; “You have to just do what your heart tells you to do, but make sure it knows what it wants.”

Kate cried under a new wave of tears as she remembered that Leah had left.

“She drove off, I don’t know where she went. She must be so hurt. I don’t want to hurt her, I care about her so much. She’s such an amazing person” Kate sobbed.

“You know of course, that life with Leah will not be easy. People aren’t always tolerant. You can’t legally get married, it’ll be difficult to adopt a child if you want one. You will be unable to walk down the street and hold hands with her without people staring. Are you sure you can cope with that?”

“I don’t care about any of that. What I do know is that I just feel so happy around her, all I want to do is find her and tell her I love her” Kate was amazed to hear those words come out of her mouth- but yes, she thought. She loved Leah. And not just in a friend way- she wanted more than that. Leah was everything she always wanted Dylan to be. Leah was everything Kate had been looking for. But she heard what her mother said- her life would no longer be as easy it was once was. Simple things that people took for granted- marriage, kids, even showing affection in public- would now become a huge problem. But could Kate deal with that? Leah made her feel loved, wanted, special. She cherished the dreams and goals they shared together on the farm. She loved the way Leah’s smile warmed her heart. Kate was awash with a thousand thoughts and worries- her very soul was being torn apart. The only logical thought she could hear through her confused mind was the need that she had to find Leah- she knew that Leah would be in pain, broken hearted somewhere. Kate couldn’t bear that- the thought that she had hurt Leah.

“You love her?” Debbie repeated, the same tone of awe and surprise in her own voice.

“Yes. Yes, I do. And I don’t even know where she is.”  A crack of thunder broke through the heavy air outside- the storm clouds had finally broken. Kate was exhausted and sleep deprived still from the last night, and she didn’t even know if Jess and Leah would be around to help her this time. Rain began thundering down again, and Kate nearly screamed in frustration. All she wanted to do was find Leah, fix things with her and tell her she loved her, and then crawl into bed and sleep for a week. She had no energy left- she didn’t think she could make it through another night like the last. But yet she had to drag herself out into the rain, pulling her boots and coat on. She stumbled over to Sally in her nearby paddock, and led her quickly into the shelter of the stables to saddle her up. She nearly had a heart attack when she realised that Jess was already there, saddling her own horse.

“Oh thank god, thank god” Kate gasped with relief, hugging her quickly. “I’m so sorry that you had to see that argument. Have you heard from Leah? Do you know where she is?” she panted quickly, swearing when Jess shook her head to say no.

“Let’s just get through this storm, I’m sure she’ll show up” Jess reasoned.

Kate nodded, trying to focus her tired brain on saddling her horse. Together she and Jess headed back out into the storm, preparing for another long and terrible night.

TWENTY FOUR

Although far beyond being exhausted and in desperate need of sleep, Jess and Kate found themselves, yet again, running through rain drenched paddocks, surrounded by their dogs, trying frantically to herd sheep away from swelling dams and creeks. The ground, still soaked from the last night, had become a mud-bath.  Kate slipped in the mud time and time again, each time having to search her body and her soul for the energy to get up again. Jess was no better- she staggered along the wet ground, pushing hopelessly against the bleating sheep- her tired voice cracking as she tried to call commands to the dogs. Kate was becoming more and more distraught- she could see several sheep being dragged into the rising creek waters. Tears coursed down her cheek as she tried to whistle to her dogs. Her fingers in her mouth, she blew frantically, but she could barely make a noise. Her exhausted lungs were struggling just to breathe- she simply could not find it in her to keep going. This was her livelihood being drowned in the rising waters- it was sheep she had worked hard day and night to look after; brought with money her father had left her; animals that were her and her friend’s futures. Every one of them that was lost was a crushing blow to her- every single animal was a hope for the future, every single one killed was a hope crushed. Kate slipped again in the mud and went down on her knees. Rain hailed down on her bare head, plastering her hair to her face as she cried out a scream of pure anguish. She knew she had to get up, she knew she had to keep going but she just couldn’t. Her tired legs could not find the energy to continue anymore. She knelt, defeated in the mud, shivering under the cold rain. Jess started screaming out Kate’s name- in the darkness all she could see was shadows. Stumbling through the mud, Jess nearly tripped over Kate who was huddled on the ground. Jess collapsed next to her, tugging weakly at her shirt.

“Come on Kate” Jess begged in her tired voice, “we gotta keep going. The sheep will all drown if we don’t keep going”

“I love her, I love her so much” Kate rambled senselessly, unable to focus her slow mind; “but she’s gone, she’s gone”

“Please Kate, you gotta get up. We can find her tomorrow, when all this is over.” Jess croaked, badly needing a drink of water. Kate tried to stand but lost her balance in the mud and fell back with a splatter. Jess was crying now too- they were freezing, drenched, exhausted, and didn’t have any time left. The river was flash flooding- it had long ago burst its banks. The animals were drowning by the minute, destroying the dreams that the girls had built together. Kate had already lost all hope- Jess wasn’t far behind her. She couldn’t find the words to motivate herself to get up again, let alone motivate Kate too. Over the sound of the thunder, rain and biting winds they did not near the sounds of hoofsteps approaching. They both screamed in shock as a torchbeam washed over them, quickly followed by footsteps squelching through deep mud.

“Kate! Jess” called a warm golden voice. Kate swore it was the most glorious, wondrous thing she’d ever heard and her heart leapt with the first feeling of hope she’d felt since the horrible night began.

“Leah!” she screamed back desperately. Within seconds Leah was next to her, kneeling on the ground and grabbing her in a rough hug.

“I’m so sorry Leah, I’m so sorry” Kate sobbed, clutching onto Leah desperately.

“I know Kate, I know. But we can’t do this now, you have to get up- the sheep are drowning. Come on, please, get up. For me. For us. You have to get up” Leah pleaded, standing up with a struggle, and reaching a hand out to Kate to help her up. Jess ran to Kate’s other side and together, they helped Kate back on to her feet. She clung to Leah for another moment, before Leah pulled away gently.

“Come on Kate. You’re the most amazing person I know, and I know you can do this” Leah coaxed “We can do this together. Let’s go”

Numbly, Kate nodded, forcing all her emotions at seeing Leah back into her heart- closing them all up for the moment, so that whatever energy she had left in her could be used to save her farm.

Summoning up all their strength, the girls waddled their way through the mud, getting themselves behind the sheep- dangerously close to the rising flood waters. Leah whistled the dogs back into line, and together the girls repeated the phenomenal task of saving the terrified sheep. For a long few minutes, the sheep wouldn’t move and Kate felt her new found hope fading again. She screamed and gave one last push against her sheep. She cried out again, this time in relief as the stupid animal finally ran, leading the mob away from the dangerous water. Panting with exertion, she rested her hands on her knees and caught her breath. Dimly she could hear excited calls of joy from Jess and Leah as the dogs continued to move the sheep into safe pastures. She lost track of time as she stared at the ground and simply focused on breathing. She felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Leah in front of her, looking just as beaten as she felt. Roughly, Kate grabbed her and pulled her in close. It wasn’t so much as a hug as a desperate need to hold Leah close, to make sure she was real, to make sure she wouldn’t leave again.

“You came back” Kate panted, crying with relief and exhaustion against Leah.

“I couldn’t leave you alone to deal with the storm. Where’s Dylan?” Leah replied, holding Kate tightly.

“I got rid of him of course” Kate thought this was obvious.

“You mean, you didn’t get back together with him?” Leah asked in surprise.

“Why would I? Did you seriously think I wanted him? Leah, surely you know it’s all you. You’re all I want” Kate said desperately, pulling back to look into Leah’s eyes. Leah’s own red hair was plastered against her head and water coursed down her face. Yet Kate thought that Leah was surely the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Kate stopped thinking and did the only thing that made sense to her exhausted mind- she pulled Leah into a rough kiss. Her freezing body flared with warmth as Leah kissed her back. They were rough and hard and were almost hurting each other with their need to be together, to make sure the other was real and alive and safe. Leah pulled back slightly then returned, her lips moving over Kate’s gently, running her hands over her to make sure she wasn’t hurt. Kate forgot all else in the world existed- it was just her and Leah, passion coursing through their veins like fire, a desperate need for each other taking over all logical reasoning.

“Guys, I hate to break this up, but we’ve gotta get out of this rain” Jess interrupted, tapping a hand on Kate’s shoulder. She pulled away from Leah, an embarrassed grin on her face. Taking Leah’s hand, Kate led the way back through the now dying storm to the house. With the worst of the storm over, the girls could finally get inside, warm and dry, and go to sleep. Desire still coursed through Kate, giving her energy despite her previous exhaustion, and she refused to let go of Leah’s hand until they were safe inside. Once inside, Jess muttered some feeble excuse and disappeared, leaving Kate and Leah alone. Kate’s body buzzed with nerves and adrenaline as Leah grabbed her and pushed her up against a wall as she kissed her deeply. Kate pulled her up against her but still couldn’t get close enough. With a moan, she pulled away and stumbled backwards towards the bedroom, still kissing Leah as they fumbled through the dark hallway.

Even when pulling Leah into her bedroom, she didn’t stop to think of the if’s or why’s or how’s- she could think of nothing but the intense feelings of pleasure raising goosebumps on her skin, of the feeling of Leah’s velvet soft lips, of sweet bliss as they pulled the rain-soaked clothes from each other, as they struggled with their large belt buckles, as they kicked their farm boots unceremoniously onto the carpet, spreading lines of dirt across the pattern. They pulled each other onto the bed, and Kate never even stopped to wonder how she, who had never been with a woman, knew what to do. She sank into Leah and knew finally, for the first time in her life, what it truly felt like to find her soul-mate, the one whose heart was truly the match of hers.

TWENTY FIVE

Kate opened her eyes blearily, her first thought being that she hadn’t slept so late in the morning in years. Her second thought came with a dizzying shock as she remembered the night before. Breathless, she sat up, realising she was alone in the bed. Wincing from a headache caused by her late night, she dragged herself out of bed and hurried to pull on the nearest dry clothes she could find. Anxiety coursed through her- had Leah regretted their night last night? Was that why she had left? Stopping for a second to catch her breath, Kate searched her own heart for any feelings of regret. She found none-the night before had surely been the best night of her life. Despite the storm and the exhaustion that still ran through her, she was in bliss. Desire again hammered her as her mind replayed the night before; the feeling of holding Leah close to her. A delirious grin spread across Kate’s face, and she chuckled to herself. I’m in love, she thought to herself, laughing again. Now all she had to do was find Leah and tell her. Turning back to her bed to grab her phone incase she needed to call Leah, her eye caught a folded note with her name written on it, sitting on the bedside table. Grinning, Kate realised Leah had left her a note to tell her where she was.

Kate,

I’m sorry. Last night was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. But I can’t bear to see you wake up and regret what happened. I’m a coward I know, but I want to remember how happy you and I were last night.

Living a life with me... I don’t think you know how hard it would be. You have no idea what it’s like to have people judge you for who you are. You don’t know how it feels to not be able to show affection in public without getting insulted. I know I’m a coward for running away again, but I can’t bear the pain when you realise that you don’t want to live that kind of life.

 I’m sorry.

Leah.

Nausea overtook Kate’s body, and she sat heavily on the bed in horror.

“No, no, no, no, no” Kate begged, rereading the note again. Surely it was all a horrible mistake, surely she’d misread the note. Leah couldn’t have left. Kate had only just got her back again, and now she was gone. Kate let out a wail of anguish, her mind reeling with shock. Desperately, Kate grabbed her phone, finding Leah’s number. She pressed dial and prayed silently as it started ringing.

“Please, please, please answer. Answer the phone, please, please- FUCK!” Kate swore, tears running down her cheeks when the call went to Leah’s voicemail. She hung up, praying silently. Searching again, she found Jess’s number and rang that. It too went to voicemail, but Kate left a message.

“Jess, if you get this and you know where Leah is, call me back. Tell her I love her, tell her I don’t regret anything. Please call me back.” Kate pleaded desperately into the phone and hanging up. Crying, she staggered down the hallway, calling out for Debbie.

“Mum! Mum, are you here?” She cried.

“Kate?” Debbie called back, worried. Kate hurried down towards the kitchen, grabbing desperately at Debbie, crying heavily into her shoulder.

“Kate, what’s happened?” Debbie asked in horror.

“Leah and I got together, but she’s gone again. She left a note saying she didn’t want to get hurt. But I won’t hurt her, I love her, I need to find her, I don’t know where she went!” Kate sobbed, ranting in her anguish. Debbie rubbed Kate’s back, making soothing noises. Guiding Kate over to the table, Debbie made her sit down. Kate buried her head in her arms, leaning heavily onto the table as she cried. Debbie sat next to her and kept rubbing her back.

“I love her, mum” Kate repeated in static syllables, choking the words through her sobs.

“It’ll work out Kate, I promise it will. Have faith. She has to come back, her stuff is still in the spare room. I promise you it will work out.” Debbie murmured softly, trying to calm Kate down. Kate’s phone beeped loudly, indicating it had a text message, and Kate leapt for it across the table. Swallowing down another wave of nausea when she realised the text was from Jess.

“Don’t worry, I found her. We’re at the pub. And you can tell her that yourself”. It read.

Kate’s heart leapt with hope as she jumped up from her chair and dashed through the house to get her car keys from her bedroom. She hurried back past her mother, not even stopping to tell her where she was going, and ran out to her car, flinging the door open and throwing herself into the seat. Wrenching the key in the ignition, she threw the car into gear and sped down the driveway. As she turned out onto the road, she managed to regain enough sense to know that speeding now was a terrible idea and would end badly on the still-wet roads. Struggling to maintain her self-control under the desperate rush of nerves that had overtaken her, Kate forced herself to slow the car down to a safe speed. Her body rebelled against her, wanting the car to travel faster, but Kate remained focused on staying safe. Restless and agitated with her slow pace, she drummed her hands against the steering wheel, needing something to keep her distracted. The minutes dragged on, each one feeling an hour long, until finally, with a sickening feeling of relief, Kate saw the lights of the pub ahead. Peeling into the parking lot, Kate was again overtaken with a wave of nerves. What if Leah wouldn’t give her another chance? What if she had already left? Stamping down on these doubts, Kate got out her car and hurried towards the pub. She swore loudly as she passed a familiar bright purple sedan- Dylan was here. As if she didn’t have enough to worry about all ready. Fighting her sudden urge to vomit, Kate took a long deep breath to calm herself. Stepping forward, she threw open the doors of the pub and crossed the threshold.

TWENTY SIX

Jess called the bartender over, hiding her delight when she realised it was the man she’d met after the rodeo- Ben. He grinned mischievously to see her again.

“Ah if it isn’t the Chick Farmers! I read that article about you, you know” He informed them, nodding like he was telling them a big secret. Jess couldn’t help but laugh. He was very handsome, and she remembered how well she got along with him last time she was here, during the rodeo. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t taken an instant shine to his cheery personality. But she couldn’t concentrate on his flirting right now. Leah was slouched next to her on a bar stool, finishing the last of her third rum and coke. Her face was a picture of misery, and she was tearing a bar coaster up between her fingers, a pile of paper confetti slowly growing in front of her.

“Another 2 rums thanks, in coke” She asked Ben, who smiled and flipped the rum bottle around in a well-practised bar trick. Smirking, Ben put a cocktail umbrella into both rums and handed the drinks to Jess. Jess glared at him in mock anger and Ben, playing along, acted scared and ran off to the other side of the bar. Smiling to herself, Jess passed a glass to Leah, who reached out to it and took a deep swig, coughing against the harsh burn of the strong rum against her throat. Jess gnawed at her lip, feeling awkward and useless. She didn’t know what had happened between Leah and Kate. She’d been playing her guitar out on the veranda when Leah had walked out of the house and towards her car, wiping tears from her eyes. Hurriedly, Jess had dropped her guitar and insisted on driving the distraught Leah to wherever she wanted to go- she wouldn’t let Leah drive while she was so upset. They had ended up at the pub, which was pretty busy with lunchtime guests and Sunday regulars enjoying a day off from work.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Jess asked, looking over at Leah, who buried her head in her hands.

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I just couldn’t bear to see Kate wake up and regret our night together.  And I don’t want her to live the life I’ve had to- to suffer in the same way I have.”

“You don’t want Kate to suffer? So you’re choosing her path for her? Cutting her off to make her life easier? You know who that reminds me of- who else did that?” Jess reminded her. Leah glared at her.

“I’m being serious Leah. Dylan did that to her. Her own father did that to her. Even her mum, for a time. I would have thought you’d be the one person who’d support her dreams, no matter what. Who’d always be at her side, through anything she had to face”

“Don’t make me feel guilty. I did it for her own good.”

“Don’t kid yourself- you did it for you. You just didn’t want to take the risk that you’d be hurt again. You’ve been holding yourself back for weeks, not wanting to take the risk- and last night you got carried away and let your heart take over. Now here you are, running scared for the second time in a row”

Leah crossed her arms over her chest- stubborn and defiant.

“Has it occurred to you,” added Jess after a long moment of cold silence, “that Kate is not Sarah? Has it occurred to you that Kate may have woken up this morning and NOT regretted last night?”

Leah sighed deeply and uncrossed her arms, running her hands through her tangled hair. Another thick silence fell between them like a blanket, until a male voice cut through the air.

“Just a beer mate” The guy said to Ben, as he stepped up next to Jess at the bar. She turned and realised with a jolt of surprised that it was Dylan. He tapped his fingers on the bar impatiently, then seemed to realise that he was standing next to Jess and Leah, who were staring daggers at him. A cold grin crept across his face.

“What’s up, dykes? I hear you got lucky with the farm. Maybe you’ll get lucky and find a bloke who’ll have ya too, eh?” He leered at them.

“You were never good enough for Kate” Leah snarled back, “you’re just a lonely, sad loser who never appreciated how lucky he was to have an amazing girl like Kate”. The pub had gone quiet, the patrons watching the unfolding argument.

“Gee, that’s rich, coming from a dirty lezzo. Tell me, who would ever love YOU?” He laughed cruelly.

“I would” piped up a quiet voice from across the pub. Everyone turned to stare. Kate stood, framed in the door with the afternoon sun glowing behind her and the pub lights playing across her creamy skin. In a louder voice, she called out;

“I already do. I love her.” She walked over to stand in front of Leah, who turned and got up slowly from her bar stool- as if dazed and shocked.

“Leah, I love you. And I want the whole world to know it” she said, speaking directly to Leah, but so the whole pub could still here her.

“Please. Don’t leave me again” she said, her hazel eyes meeting Leah’s.

Another long second went by, the whole pub- the whole world- everything standing still. Then suddenly, Leah ran forward and swept her arms around Kate, burying her head in her shoulder. Pulling back hurriedly she kissed Kate, ignoring the whole pub as they cheered loudly, banging their glasses with their cutlery and wolf whistling. She broke the kiss, a blissful grin on her face.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve been such an idiot” Leah stated, “can you forgive me?”

“As long as you never do it again. Come on, let’s go home” Kate smiled at Leah, linking her fingers through Leah’s and leading her out of the pub as the patrons continued to whistle and catcall. Laughing with the crowd, Jess turned back to Ben at the bar.

“Another rum for me, thanks Ben” she said, still laughing joyously.

Dylan stood, unnoticed and forgotten, stunned and with his jaw dropped, wondering what the hell just happened, and not finding any answers.

TWENTY SEVEN
2 months later.

Leah woke, her Sunny Cowgirls ringtone dragging her from a deep sleep. Drowsily she turned off the alarm, and rolled over to slide her arm around the girl sleeping next to her. Each morning for the last 2 months it had been like this. Each morning Leah was in total bliss. She kissed Kate’s shoulder.

“Morning gorgeous” she whispered. Kate only nestled closer to Leah’s body, and Leah smiled. Kate loved the early mornings just as she did, and their days still followed the same pattern they had for months now- she, Kate and Jess getting up with the break of dawn, working on the endless list of tasks around the farm for as long as they could, stopping only for a cup of tea and a few bikkies before plowing on until the sun was high in the sky, the sweltering heat forcing the girls to take a break. It was late summer, and of course their beloved country of Australia wasn’t done throwing out heatwaves- entire weeks at a time where the temperature was above 35, 40, 45 degrees Celsius. The girls used the hottest hours of the afternoon to have some spare time for themselves, or do odd jobs around the farm.

Jess occasionally would travel into town to see the bartender of the pub she had finally hooked up with; Ben. He had driven out to the farm the day after Kate kissed Leah for the first time, and asked Jess out. He acted the part of the fool- kneeling on one knee and dramatically declaring that he had neglected to ask for Jess’s phone number amongst the destruction of the storm- but that Kate and Leah’s display of love in the pub that night had convinced him that he too must declare his affections.

Jess had stood stunned, not sure how to take his behaviour, until Ben’s face broke out into a large grin and he stood up laughing. Then he turned and handed Leah her wallet- the wallet she had left behind in the pub on the bar. Ben declared that he had driven out to return it to her and “to see if the farm full of gorgeous women was a real place and not a fantasy he’d dreamed up”. He ended up staying all afternoon talking and flirting with Jess out in one of the sheds as she serviced one of the utes. They saw each other almost every day since. Jess seemed enamoured with his silliness and good-humour, and it always made Leah laugh to watch the two of them flirting and carrying on like teenagers.

Leah thought Ben was a pretty decent guy, and she liked to tease Jess- the proud bachelorette- about how she was finally settling down with a bloke again. While Leah laughed at Jess’s new love, she of course didn’t realise that she was exactly just as enamoured with Kate.

Leah and Kate would spend those hours of the afternoon where it was too hot to do anything else taking slow horse rides along the river, or sprawling out on the floor of the homestead playing old board games, but mostly, disappearing off to their bedroom- which they now shared, living together in the huge room on the east side of the house where they could watch the sunrise- learning everything they could about one another. Leah’s fears that Kate was just going through a phase- or experimenting with her sexuality- turned out to be unfounded as they developed a deep friendship and a deeper love for each other. Like any other relationship, their relationship required work and effort- after all, it was easy to get caught up in the endless farmwork and forget to spare some time for each other. But they were careful to always find the time for each other, and their effort showed in the way their previous close friendship blossomed into a strong and special partnership.

In the late afternoon, when the heat had settled, the 3 girls would ride out again on their horses to check the sheep and the fences, fertilise vegetables and spray weeds in the paddocks, or train their dogs and do last minute end-of-the-day farm duties, before settling down to a their own freshly cooked Debbie’s Dinners meal. The demand for Debbie’s Dinners was continually getting bigger, as was the demand for their high country eggs and meat, and Kate wouldn’t have to worry about finances for a long time at the rate they were going.

After dinner, on days Jess hadn’t already gone to see Ben, he would drive over in his old bomby Kingswood ute, and Leah and Kate would smile at each other as they watched Ben and Jess disappear giggling into her bedroom. Either Kate or Leah- one or both- would raise their eyebrows in the silent language only a couple ever understands, and they too would disappear, though usually to fall exhausted but elated into their soft bed at night, resting to do it all again the next day.

One particular morning, the 3 girls were sitting at the table bleary-eyed at 5 o’clock, drinking tea and eating Vegemite on toast. Ben stumbled into the kitchen, kissed Jess on her cheek, and stole one of her pieces of toast, sitting down next to her and resting his feet on the chair across from him.

“Hey!” Jess pretended to be angry, swatting him with her hand a few times. Ben defended himself half-heartedly, smirking as he chewed on his toast. Finally, he pinned Jess’s hand down. His face became grave, and he slowly leaned across and looked seriously into her eyes.

“Now” he said soberly. “Domestic violence is never acceptable.” He paused, and then grinned.

“Especially towards such an awesome person!” He cracked up with laughter. Jess glared at him and swatted him again with her wrists yelling “I hate you!” Again he pinned her hand down.

“Well that’s a pity” he said, eyes sparkling happily “because I love you!” Jess pretended to growl in anger at him, and proceeded to ignore him as she ate the rest of her toast.

Laughing, Kate looked over and shared a knowing glance with Leah. They knew Jess had fallen in love and they were happy for her, even if Ben was a total character. Debbie came into the kitchen, pushing Ben’s feet off the chair as she walked past him to flick the kettle on. As it simmered away, she sat down at the table, glaring at Ben. He put an angelic looking smile on his face.

“I’m sorry Mrs T” he said, trying to maintain his innocent look without laughing.

“No, you’re not. But shoosh now, I have something to discuss with the girls.” Debbie admonished, trying not to laugh.

The girls put down their toast and looked at her. Debbie paused as she prepared what to say.

“Now, as you know, this farm is called The Thompson Farm. Gary and I named it just after we married and brought it 30 years ago, and that name came to be important to us as we raised a child and created many happy memories as the Thompson family” She looked at each girl in turn as she continued,

“However; I now know that that name no longer reflects this farm as it once did. Jess, you’re a wonderful addition to this farm and you always manage to get whatever machinery is broken to work again. I don’t quite know what you see in this hell-raiser-” she nodded towards Ben, who wrapped an arm around Jess and kissed her temple, “- but it’s good to see you happy. As for you, Leah... well you’ve made my girl happy. That’s the only thing I want for my only child, and I have you to thank for that. Not to mention that you and Jess saved this farm. Along with you, Kate my dear. I am so proud of everything you’ve achieved, and I know your dad would be too. He was a stubborn man I know, but he would be proud of how much of a difference you’ve made to this farm, and to this town in general“, Kate, flushing a deep red with embarrassment, looked down at the table and Leah reached out to hold her hand, glowing with pride towards Kate.

“So, sentimental embarrassing speeches over, I would like to ask a favour of you all. I would like you three to work together like you do so well, and come up with a new name for this piece of land.”

Debbie got up from the table and poured herself a cup of tea from the boiled kettle, while the girls sat silent, each considering this request. Finally Kate spoke,

“But... it’s your farm. You created Debbie’s Dinners and brought all this attention to the farm. Not to mention the fact that you, like, own the place!” Kate argued.

“On paper, yes. According to the law, yes. And according to the law, you are set to inherit when I pass away... But that’s not the point. You, Leah, and Jess are the heart and soul of this farm- you are the ones every day out there working from dawn til dusk, slogging yourselves for the good of this farm. You three are the future of this place. You need to choose a name that will carry us into that future.” Picking up her cup of tea, Debbie walked out of the kitchen before the girls could argue. There was a thoughtful silence. Finally Jess spoke.

“It’s your farm Kate, you decide-“

“- don’t even start” Kate interrupted. “This is not my farm, it’s ours. We shared the ideas, we shared the work, and now we damn well share the rewards. We all come up with the name. End of story.”  She got up from her seat at the table and left the room. They could hear her walk out to the veranda, and start calling her dogs to her. Ben, Leah and Jess sat in awkward silence.

“ I have a suggestion” Ben continued. The girls looked at him as he paused in suspense.

“Chick farm!!”. He laughed and screamed as both the girls jumped up from their spots at the table and wrestled him to the ground, swatting their hands at him again.

TWENTY EIGHT

Jess finished tightening the last wheel nut on the utes tires and wiped her sweating forehead with her sleeve, realising as she’d done it that her sleeve was streaked- as was the rest of her- in grease from the car. Ben, who was tinkering with the engine, saw her face streaked in black and broke out laughing. Coming over to her, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently. Jess melted into his arms just as he broke the kiss and leant back against the ute, watching her.

“Have you thought anymore about what Debbie said?” He asked, picking up a rag off the car and wiping the excess grease off his hands.

“Yeah, actually I have. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” She took the rag off him. She didn’t care so much about how she looked- when you worked with cars, and especially on a farm, you got used to the fact that you’d never be completely clean again. She just wanted to get the excess off her hands so she could eat without also eating car oil.

“And?”

“I think we’re done with the ute. So... no better time than now to go talk to the girls, right?”.

Hand in hand they walked out the shed into the dying sunlight. Silhouetted against the setting sun, Leah and Kate stood locked in a romantic moment- foreheads pressed together, holding each other close. Jess smiled and walked up to them, watching as they broke apart. Kate wrapped her arm around Leah and returned Jess’s smile.

“Let me guess. You wanna talk about a certain name for a certain farm?” said Kate teasingly. Jess nodded. All 4 of them walked over to a nearby wooden fence and found comfortable spots to sit or lean on it.

“So... Ideas?” Kate asked. There was a long pause. Finally Leah spoke.

“I’ve got nothing.”

“Neither” Jess agreed. Ben looked from one to the other.

“Well let’s brainstorm. I personally think you need something that reflects that this place is full of gorgeous chicks” He suggested seriously. The girls glared at him and raised their hands, threatening him.

“Ben does have a point. We’re all women here, especially Ben” Kate smirked at him, “What else is important?”

“Where we live? You know, we’re surrounded by such amazing country here. Mansfield and Lake Eildon down the road. Great Dividing Range to the left, Mount Buller behind us.” Jess suggested.

“Something Australian” Leah chipped in.

“Something that sounds good as a brand name” Kate said, thinking of the business.

Once they started, the suggestions kept coming. References to the landscape, words from Australian slang, Aboriginal land names, names from history, references to everyone from Ned Kelly to Banjo Patterson, from the mountains to the valleys. They started throwing out names: Matilda Hills, Country Pride, Snowy River Farm, Golden Plains, Mountain Views, Delatite Dreams... The list went on. Not a single one was right.

The 4 of them ended up working on it for days.

The name finally came to Kate, on a Saturday night at the end of the week. The three girls and Ben decided they couldn’t put up with the sticky heat and the constant sheen of sweat that caused their shirts to cling to their skin any longer. In the evening, they packed an esky full of beer and grabbed some potato chips, and headed down in a ute to one of the cleaner dams in the paddocks.

They laughed and played in the water until their skin had turned wrinkly, and finally collapsed with their beer onto giant picnic rugs, drinking beer after beer until they were rolling around laughing as the sun set over the mountain ranges, turning the clouds the most stunning red and orange colours.

Kate looked around her, and for a second she couldn’t believe she was here. She couldn’t believe how far she had come. She thought of all the things that had brought them together- all the things that had gone badly in their pasts- messy break-ups, failed engagement parties, broken hearts, the death of Kate’s father, her mother’s injury and depression, the near financial ruin of a once great farm. Then she thought of all the wonderful things that had happened since- the fresh meat, eggs and the small range of organic vegetables they grew that were in ever increasing demand by the country stores they sold them to, the success of Debbie’s Dinners, Leah and her now-fully trained Kelpie pups, Jess and her various skills with mechanics and her guitar. She thought of all the sweat and tears and effort they had put into the farm- and all the hope and love and joy that it had brought them. Especially love, she thought as she watched Ben and Jess cuddle each other on the rug, and felt Leah’s hand caressing her arm idly. Suddenly a thought came to Kate- a realisation that all along she should have known what the name would be.

“I know the name!” She shouted proudly, hugging Leah close, feeling her heart swell with joy as she announced her idea.

The next day Jess, Leah, Debbie and Ben stood at the front gate, watching Kate hang a large newly painted sign on the front fence. Kate felt Leah hug her and knew that she had found true happiness. True happiness on their farm:

“HIGH HOPES FARM”

Table of Contents

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

ELEVEN

TWELVE

THIRTEEN

FOURTEEN

FIFTEEN

SIXTEEN

SEVENTEEN

EIGHTEEN

NINETEEN

TWENTY

TWENTY ONE

TWENTY TWO

TWENTY THREE

TWENTY FOUR

TWENTY FIVE

TWENTY SIX

TWENTY SEVEN

TWENTY EIGHT