K productions

Where One Ends …

by Kim Pritekel

 All stories are Copyright © by Kim Pritekel.All rights reserved. No part of any of the following publications may be reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Kim Pritekel. The characters herein are fictional and any resemblence to a real person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any resemblance of actual events, locales, or organizations is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author.

Present Day:

Mina Culvertson sat back against the chair in the hospital cafeteria, stunned as she read the email on her smart phone.  Reaching out absently, the first year resident at St. Mary’s Hospital grabbed her cup of coffee and sipped, re-reading the message.  Setting the cup down on the table once more, she looked again at the email address and the initial at the end of the message.  Yes, it was one in the same.

“Holy crap,” she whispered, not sure quite what to think. 

Mina: I know it’s been awhile and I’m taking a chance that you’re still using this email address, but I’ve moved back into town and I’d like to see you.  Perhaps meet for coffee?  If you’re interested, let me know.  My schedule is very flexible.

            R

Mina glanced up when she heard her name being called over the loud speaker.  She disconnected from the web as she pushed up from her chair and slid her phone into the large pocket of her white medical coat, tossing her unfinished coffee into the trash as she hurried from the cafeteria.

*****

August 1997: 

“Courtney!” Rachel yelled out, finishing up her 12 year old daughter’s lunch for the first day of school.  Shoving the sandwich, bagged carrots and pudding cup into the brown paper bag, Rachel went to her purse and dug out a couple dollars to give her daughter for drinks that day.  “Courtney!” she called again, irritation marking her voice now.  She walked to the bottom of the staircase and looked up.  “You’re going to make you late for school and me late for work!”

“I don’t wanna go!” the seventh grader yelled down from her bedroom.

“Oh, Court, not today,” Rachel sighed, gliding her hand along the rail as she made her way up to the second floor.  She walked to the open doorway of her only child’s bedroom, noting the girl was sitting on her unmade bed, legs pulled up to her stomach and arms wrapped around her shins.  “Honey,” Rachel said, softening her voice.  She knew her daughter’s very delicate emotional state would never respond to how she truly felt, which was that she wanted to grab her by the hand and drag her to the car.  Instead, she sat down next to her.  “Honey, everything will be okay.”  She reached over and brushed blonde bangs out of Courtney’s eyes, the same shade of green as her mother’s.

“They make fun of me,” Courtney muttered, chin resting on her knees. 

“I know kids can be cruel, baby,” Rachel conceded, “but you can’t hide away in your bedroom from everyone or everything.”  She ran her fingers through the soft golden strands that reached just below narrow shoulders.  “Go show them who you really are, Courtney.  And,” she added, “you’ve got Mrs. Harvey this year for English, right?”  Rachel smiled at the girl’s reluctant nod.  “See?  You like her and she likes you.”

Courtney brought up a hand and swiped at her nose with a small sniffle.  “Okay.”

Relieved, Rachel placed a kiss on her daughter’s head then climbed off the bed and headed downstairs, gathering her purse and keys as Courtney shrugged into her brand new backpack, filled with all her brand new school supplies. 

“Got your lunch?”  At Courtney’s nod, mother and daughter headed to the garage and climbed into Rachel’s minivan.

As she backed out of the garage, she noticed a moving truck parked in front of the house next door, two men grunting as they carried a large sofa into the large two-story.

“Look, Court,” Rachel said, glancing over at her daughter.  “Maybe they’ll have kids you can play with.”

Courtney said nothing, simply glanced over at the moving truck then looked out her passenger side window.

Courtney dropped off safely at the middle school, she hurried over to her office, her first patient of the day already waiting for her in the waiting room, the office receptionist having let her in and had gotten payment all taken care of.

“I’m so sorry, Carol,” Rachel said, hurrying through the small waiting room and toward her office.  “I’ll be right with you.” 

Dr. Rachel Henderson had been in private practice as a chiropractor for two years.  While the practice was small, it was profitable and growing, which was a relief because, though Rachel had earned scholarships throughout her schooling, her Emergency Room doctor husband had not.  John’s college and medical school loans were more than one hundred thousand dollars and change, so though they were both successful in their respective career, their debt was daunting. 

Later on in the morning when she had a break in clients, she sat in the chair in her small office behind her desk and grabbed the phone, dialing John’s cell phone number, figuring she’d have to leave a voicemail.  To her surprise, he picked up.

“Hey.  Not a lot of time, but I got a minute,” he said in greeting.

“I got hold of Courtney’s therapist today,” Rachel explained, glancing down at the notes she’d taken from the call with Dr. Aarons.  “I can get her an appointment for Thursday night but I’ve got a late patient coming in.  Is there any way you can take her?  I can pick her up.”

John sighed on the other end.  “Rachel, I’ve got cards on Thursday nights, you know that.  It’s my only time to unwind.”

“John, this is your daughter.  You know how anxious she gets if she misses an appointment with Dr. Aarons.  We have to keep consistency John, you know that,” Rachel sighed, resting her head against her hand and closing her eyes in irritation.  “I have to go, as I’ve got a patient in three minutes, but I really need you to be there for her.”

John sighed again.  “Alright, fine.  I’ll tell the guys we gotta start later.”

Rachel shook her head, utterly disgusted.  “Thank you,” she managed.  “Gotta go.”

Hanging up the handset, Rachel stared down at it for a long moment before finally, she let out a long sigh and pushed up from her chair to meet with her patient.

*****

In her second floor bedroom, Rachel changed from her scrubs into her bathing suit – intending to go for a swim in the backyard pool – when she heard voices outside.  Glancing out the bedroom window, she could see into the neighbor’s backyard.  A woman and a young girl – whom looked to be around Courtney’s age – were chatting as they sat out on the newly-placed patio furniture.

Chewing on her bottom lip, Rachel had an idea.  Grabbing a pair of shorts, she tugged them on though didn’t bother covering her bikini top as she headed downstairs and out the back door.

The backyard of the Henderson house was flawless with a carpet of thick, green grass, flowers planted and blooming all along the back fence and the carefully maintained swimming pool, which took up most of the space.

Rachel made her way onto the deck and down the stairs to the chain link fence that separated their yard from the new neighbor’s yard.   On closer inspection of the two, Rachel noted the older woman – assuming she was the mother – looked to be extremely frail.  Her frame was thin, face nearly skeletal with sunken eyes and sharp cheek bones.  Rachel’s gaze turned to the girl, who leaned over and helped the older woman rip open a packet of sugar and pour it into her glass of iced tea.  She looked strong and healthy, her hair midnight black and flowing down her back in shiny waves. 

“Hello, there!” Rachel called out with a smile and a wave once she saw she had their attention.

“Hello,” the young girl called back.  She got up from her chair and then, with seemingly endless patience, helped the older woman get to her feet then both made their slow trek to the fence.

“I’m so sorry,” Rachel said, her heart hurting as she saw the strain the short walk had put on the woman.  “I didn’t mean to – “

“It’s okay,” the woman smiled, the deep-set, dark eyes coming to life with that smile.  She extended a painfully thin hand.  “I’m Tanya and this is my daughter, Mina.”

Rachel accepted the hand, afraid she’d crush it if she squeezed too tightly, but she had to smile at the firm, confident handshake that was returned.  Taking Mina’s hand, she smiled at the pretty young girl with the amazingly blue eyes.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.  I’m Rachel.”  Rachel turned to look over her shoulder when she heard the back door open and spotted Courtney peeking her head out.  “Come here, honey!” she called, waving her child over.

“You have a daughter?” Tanya asked, sending a delighted smile to her own child.

“I do.”  Rachel reached for Courtney, who was making her slow way across the yard, eyeing Tanya and Mina cautiously.  “Sweetie,” Rachel said gently, placing a protective arm around Courtney’s shoulders.  “This is Tanya and this is her daughter, Mina.”  She looked at the new neighbors.  “This is my daughter, Courtney.”

“Courtney, it’s wonderful to meet you,” Tanya said, extending a hand once again, only for Courtney to blanch away from it and somewhat hide behind her mother.

Rachel gave Tanya an apologetic smile, hoping she would be understanding.  “Honey,” she said to the girl, trying to gently pull her out from her hiding space.  “These are our new neighbors.  They’re nice.”  She smiled at the mother and daughter.  “She’s shy.”

Without another word, Courtney ran back into the house, leaving the three to watch her go.  To say that Rachel was embarrassed was an understatement.  She took in a breath then faced them, a polite smile.

“We’re dealing with some things,” she said cryptically. 

Tanya reached across the fence and took Rachel’s hand.  “My nephew is that way,” she said softly.  “It’s okay.  Some kids are just shy.”  She gave Rachel a knowing smile.

“So, are you going to Pleasant View Middle School, Mina?” Rachel asked, really wanting the conversation to get off her daughter. 

“No.  I’m going to Westwood,” Mina responded with a polite smile.

Rachel’s brows raised, impressed.  “That’s the private school off Houston, right?” Rachel asked, knowing full well that it was a K – 12 school for academically gifted students.

“Yes,” Mina smiled.  “I’m an eighth grader there.”

“Good for you!” Rachel complimented, though couldn’t keep the haunted expression out of her eyes, as seeing Mina and knowing all the problems her own daughter faced, and would for a lifetime, brought it into sharp focus.

“Mina,” Tanya said softly, “please go check on dinner.”  Without question, Mina hurried off toward the house, leaving the two moms.  Tanya met Rachel’s gaze, her own suddenly strong and very stern.  “I know what you’re going through, Rachel,” she said.  “My Mina is doing the best she can and has had to grow up far too fast.  I have less than a year to live, but that little girl has done all she can to make the last bit of my life as comfortable and wonderful as she can.  Don’t give up the faith, and don’t give up on your little girl, just like mine hasn’t given up on me.” 

*****

Two weekends later, Rachel glanced once more over at Courtney, who was swimming, before heading into the house to get them both a glass of lemonade.  Dressed in her bathing suit bikini top with a towel around her waist, she grabbed the glass pitcher from the fridge and set it down on the counter.  She was about to open the cabinet door to grab two glasses when she heard the doorbell chime.

Closing the cabinet door, she padded through the kitchen and living room to the front door, smiling when she saw Mina Culvertson standing on the other side of the locked glass door.

“Hey, Mina,” she said with a smile, after she unlocked and opened the door.

“Hi, Dr. Henderson.  I was wondering if maybe Courtney would want to come out and do something,” the girl said, a braces-laden smile following her words.

“Well, actually she’s swimming right now.”  She saw the slight disappointment on the lovely face.  “Tell you what, Mina: why don’t you go ask your mom if it’s okay for you to come over and join us, huh?  You got a bathing suit?”

“Yeah, I do,” Mina grinned, excitement twinkling in her June sky eyes.  “Okay!”  Like a shot, she was bolting across the front yard to her own yard, making Rachel chuckle. 

Rachel was shocked to see how well and how quickly Courtney latched onto Mina, the girls becoming very fast friends.  Even though the girls didn’t go to school together, they were together nearly everyday after school for at least a small bit of time and definitely on the weekends.  Rachel was touched by how kind and gentle Mina was with Courtney, definitely taking on the role of protector.

The thing that surprised Rachel the most about the 13 year old was how she saw the world, through the mind and eyes far older than her years, and her intelligence was utterly astounding.  She was the top student at one of the most prestigious and challenging schools in the entire state.  When Mina found out John was an ER doctor, she constantly riddled him with questions, which John ate up.

It was a happy time for Courtney and Mina.  That is, until Christmas of the following year.

*****

Christmas 1998:

Rachel chewed on her bottom lip in frustration as she tried to navigate as quickly – and safely – through traffic as she could.  Courtney sat buckled into the seat next to her, silent tears running down her cheeks.

“It’ll be okay, sweetie,” Rachel said quietly, reaching over to squeeze her daughter’s hand before returning it to the wheel.

The two raced down the hospital corridor, Rachel looking at every door they passed until she spotted the room they’d been directed to by the lady at the desk.

“Here it is,” she murmured, Courtney’s hand still held within her own.  She turned to her daughter.  “Are you sure, honey?”

Courtney nodded, though swallowed nervously.  “Yes.  I want to be there for Mina.”

“Okay.”

Pushing the heavy door open, Rachel held it open for Courtney to enter, which the girl did, somewhat hesitant.  Following behind, Rachel felt her heart racing, not sure what they’d find.  Her heart stopped racing and instead broke as she saw the diminutive figure lying in the bed, sunken in features page white, a bony hand held by that of her 14 year old daughter, Mina.

Haunted blue eyes looked up and met Rachel’s sorrowful gaze.  The two shared a smile before Rachel gently guided Courtney toward the bed on the opposite side of Mina.

“Hey, Tanya,” she said softly, reaching out to touch the dying woman’s leg.  While out for some mom and daughter time, Rachel had received a call on her cell from John at home that Tanya Culvertson was in the hospital, and wasn’t expected to last the night.  This, of course, was after a call from Mina to the home phone.  The two had raced to the hospital from the mall.

Tanya opened her deeply- sunken eyes and turned her head, oh so slowly, smiling a bit when she saw Courtney and Rachel.  She did not speak, but she did reach out a hand to Courtney, whom had spent a great deal of time over at the Culvertson house spending nights and afternoons with Mina.

Courtney took the proffered hand, to Rachel’s surprise, seeming very drawn to Tanya rather than frightened or mournful, as Rachel had feared.  The girl, so small for her age, stepped up to the bed and leaned down, whispering something in Tanya’s ear.  The two shared a poignant look before Tanya gave her a weak smile and nod.

As they walked out of the hospital later, Rachel turned to her daughter.  “What did you say to Tanya, honey?”

Courtney looked at her mother as they reached their car.  “I told her it was okay to go home,” she said simply.

*****

Rachel stood in the cold afternoon, snow flurries falling all around them.  Courtney stood between Rachel and John, Mina on the other side of Rachel.  As the casket was lowered, Rachel was surprised to feel her gloved hand taken.  Glancing over, she saw Mina watching her mother being lowered into the ground, the 14 year old now an inch taller than Rachel. 

Understanding, Rachel squeezed Mina’s hand, only to feel a squeeze in return.

A week later, the girls had decided to spend the night together, so Rachel had made sure the fridge was stocked with all the crap they liked to eat as they giggled and laughed their way through the night. 

As she lay in bed – the girls long ago retreating to Courtney’s bedroom – Rachel heard Courtney’s bedroom door open.  She glanced up from the book she was reading while dressed in a tank top and shorts and leaning back against stacked pillows.  Her bedroom door was open a few inches, as it always was – to make sure she could hear if her child needed anything.  A moment later there was a light tapping on the door.

“Come in,” Rachel called out, closing and setting her book aside as she set it and her reading glasses to the bedside table, deciding to leave the TV on.  She figured it was Mina, as Courtney would have just come on in, but was still surprised to see her daughter’s best friend standing in her doorway wearing similar garb to Rachel.  “Everything okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah.  Just can’t sleep.”

“Courtney’s out like a light, right?” Rachel smiled, matching Mina’s.

“And snoring.”

Rachel chuckled, reaching over and patting John’s empty side of the bed.  “Come sit with me for awhile,” she offered.  “John’s working overnight tonight.”

Mina walked further into the room and, after a shy moment’s hesitation, she climbed onto the soft mattress and moved over towards Rachel, leaving about a foot between them. 

“How are you doing?” Rachel asked softly, looking at the beautiful young girl’s profile as Mina seemed to be focusing on Dave Letterman. 

After a moment, Mina nodded and met Rachel’s gaze.  “Some days are better than others.  My dad’s a mess, but I know he’s trying to work through it.  She was sick for so long, we all knew it was coming, but now,” she shrugged, looking so lost.  “Now, I’m not real sure what to do with myself, you know?  Any time I wasn’t focusing on grades or softball was spent taking care of her.”

“You know,” Rachel said, a soft smile on her lips as she reached a hand out and took one of Mina’s in her own.  “You’re such a wonderful young woman, Mina.  I’ve never seen anyone quite like you before.  So utterly devoted and dedicated to whatever or whomever matters to you.”  Her smile widened as a blushing Mina looked down.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you, but just know you’re a very, very special person.”

Mina took a moment but then finally met Rachel’s gaze again.  “Thank you.”  She squeezed Rachel’s hand, which still held her own.  “I think you’re a pretty special lady, yourself.  Everyone should have a mom like you.”

Through Rachel’s grin she said, “Oh, now you’re just trying to suck up.”

Mina laughed, which made Rachel feel wonderful, as she hadn’t seen the teenager laugh or much smile since Tanya’s death.  “You are!  I mean, you have all the best foods here.  You have a pool …”

Rachel playfully pushed the girl.  “Shut up and watch TV.”

They shared a smile then settled in to do just that.

*****   

Present Day: 

“Dr. O’Neill, where do you want this?” Anna Cuzzio asked, the receptionist for the new chiropractor practice that would start with its first patient Monday.

“Um,” Rachel said, glancing over her shoulder to see what Anna was asking about.  “Oh right, the plants I mentioned.  How about in the lobby?  Maybe on either side of the chairs?”

“Sounds good.”

Left alone in her office again, Rachel finished hanging the framed black and white scenic photo she’d purchased for just this room.  Hands on hips, she turned and looked around, hands on hips to take everything in one last time.  She was happy with the results, even as her gaze fell to the black leather couch that had been in her office in her first practice.  A wave of different emotions washed through her as she walked over to that couch, many, many memories flickering through her mind’s eye like a movie.

Sitting down, the leather creaked slightly under her weight.  She ran a hand over the smooth cushion next to the one she sat on, a bitter/sweet smile on her lips.  Suddenly, to her surprise, tears pricked at the backs of her eyes.  That couch was the beginning of so many wonderful things and so many horrible things in her life, a life that she had ultimately had to run away from. 

Rachel’s mind then flew to the email she’d sent off the previous day, yet hadn’t had the courage to check her email to see if there had been a response.

*****

Summer, 2001:

“Come on, Court!  You can do better than that!” John yelled, laughter in his voice.  In response, he got a stuck out tongue from his 16 year old daughter, which made all of them laugh.

“Come on girl, we can do this,” Mina said, giving her best friend a playful swat on the behind before facing their opponents on the other side of the volleyball net.

“You guys suck!” Rachel chided, grinning at the two girls.

After a very lively game of volleyball, the girls finally pulling it out to beat Rachel and John handily 15 to 11, the four sat down for the lunch that Rachel had prepared for their excursion at the community park.

“It’s too bad your dad couldn’t join us today, Mina,” John said, having drank many a beer during barbecues over the four years the girls had been inseparable friends, their families also close, including Tom Culvertson’s new girlfriend of eight months, Andrea. 

“Yeah.  Andrea’s parents’ anniversary,” Mina said before taking a sip from her can of Coke. 

“You didn’t want to go?” Rachel asked.  “Surely you were invited.”  Mina shrugged a shoulder, but didn’t give a response beyond that.  Rachel reached over and wiggled the toe of one of Mina’s tennis shoes.  “I say you and me should hook up and see if we can beat these two losers,” she hitched a thumb over to her husband. 

*****

Rachel reached the end of the pool only to do a quick turn in the water and swim back the other way, finishing her nightly laps when it was warm enough to swim.  It kept her from having to go to the gym, which she hated to do.  Reaching the other side, she broke the surface only to cry out in surprise when she saw Mina standing at the edge of the pool, looking down at her.

“Jesus, you scared me!”

“Well, I’ve been called ‘oh god’ before, so Jesus is a new one,” Mina quipped, arms crossed over beautiful full breasts which were easily shown off through the tight baby doll tank she wore, muscled curves easily shown off, along with muscular tanned thighs that emerged from tight shorts, ending with flip flops on her feet.  Her long dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail which showed off her gorgeous features and a long, graceful neck.

It wasn’t hard for anyone to see that the beautiful young girl had grown into a stunning young woman, who was filled with confidence and an easy gorgeous smile, braces long gone.

Rachel rolled her eyes at Mina’s remark as she pulled herself out of the water, feeling a bit shy and uneasy as she noted Mina’s gaze that traveled up and down the entire length of her body, which was very toned and striking in its own right she knew, but was surprised by the blatant ogling.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, shaking off the unease.

“I’m bored,” Mina said simply.

“Bored?” Rachel repeated, grabbing the beach towel off the lounge which she wrapped around herself, knitting just above her breasts.  Feeling a bit more comfortable now that she was covered, she brought her hands up to wring out the excess water from her long hair.

“Yeah,” Mina said, following Rachel through the French doors that led into the kitchen.  “Homework’s done, softball is done for the season, Dad’s off with Andrea and Court is off with John for the weekend.  Bored.”

Rachel chuckled.  “Fine.  Pour us some lemonade while I go change.”

Making her way to her bedroom, Rachel was surprised at the warm wave that washed through her, again seeing Mina’s expression as she checked Rachel’s body out.  In truth, it was extremely inappropriate and Rachel felt perhaps she should say something.  But then again, it had felt wonderful on some level.  Her marriage to John had been going downhill almost since the day after Courtney’s birth.  They’d been together just over eighteen years and married for seventeen, opting to marry when they found out Rachel was pregnant.

Though Rachel did love John and he was a wonderful father to their daughter, there had just always been something missing.  Rachel knew that both of them having strenuous and long academic requirements for their respective careers had certainly put a great deal of pressure and stress on their marriage, and Rachel tried to convince herself that was all it was.  But, at the end of the day, she knew in her heart that it went deeper than that.

Walking into the bathroom, Rachel dropped the beach towel and then removed her bikini, flinging the wet garments over the shower door to dry.  She quickly went back into the bedroom and tugged on a pair of panties, bra, shorts and tank top, taking her brush with her as she made her way back down the stairs. 

In the kitchen, Mina sat at the kitchen table, sipping her lemonade while a second glass was placed at Rachel’s usual seat at the table.

“Took you long enough,” she teased.

Rachel rolled her eyes as she slid into the seat.  “You’re full of piss and vinegar tonight, kiddo.”

“Yes, I am.”  Mina sat back in her seat, casually dangling one of her arms over the back of it.  “So, why didn’t you go with Court and John this weekend?  I thought you like camping.”

“I do,” Rachel said, sipping her drink.  “I don’t know.  Guess I just wanted a little time to myself.  I don’t get that a whole lot.”

“And yet, here you are, stuck with me.”

“So it would seem,” Rachel grinned.  “No, I don’t mind.  You know I enjoy your company, Mina.  I just think it’s nice not to have to worry about everyone for a couple days.  I eat when I want to eat and what I want to eat.”  She set her glass down and rested her elbows on the tabletop, chin set on her clasped fingers. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Mina said softly.  “Before mom died, I wondered if I’d feel that way after she was gone: would I feel free.”  Mina stared off into a distant past and time.  “Like what you just said: nobody to look after, time for just me – other than my obligations with school and sports.”  She smiled wistfully.  “You know what I found, Rachel?” she asked, one of the few times she’d ever called Rachel by her first name rather than Dr. Henderson out of respect. 

The name caught Rachel’s attention, and she knew she was about to hear something that was truly part of Mina’s soul.  “What’s that, Mina?”

Mina looked at Rachel, her blue eyes a bit too shiny.  “I’d give back every single moment I’ve had for myself these past three years if I could have just one more day with my mom, and see her healthy and no longer in pain and happy.”

Tears in her own eyes at the quiet yet heartbreakingly sincere words, Rachel got out of her chair and went to Mina’s side of the table, holding the young woman’s head against her breasts as she stroked her hair. 

“Your mom would be so proud of you, Mina,” she whispered.  “I know I am.”

Mina wrapped her arms around Rachel’s middle, and without a word, they held each other for a long moment before Rachel gave her a final squeeze then let go.

“Do you like wine?” she asked, surprised as the words left her lips.

Mina looked at her, just as surprised.  She shook it off.  “Yeah!”

Rachel walked over to the small wine rack that was tucked back in a corner on the counter, pulling a bottle free.  She snagged the corkscrew from the drawer and opened the bottle.  “If you tell anyone I’ll have to skin you alive,” she growled, glancing at Mina who still sat at the table.  “I could get arrested for this.”

Mina grinned, shaking her head.  “Secret is safe with me.”

Ten minutes later, the two were seated side by side at the edge of the pool, their feet dangling in the warm water.  Rachel sipped her wine, enjoying the slight earthy tang of the drink, something she rarely ever indulged in.  In fact, the bottle she’d opened that night had been in that wine rack slot for more than two years. 

“So, what about boyfriends?” she asked, glancing over at Mina, who also sipped her wine.  “I haven’t heard either you or Courtney talk about that.”

Mina smirked.  “Two words: busy and lesbian.”

Rachel choked on the swallow of wine she’d just taken in, the liquid dribbling down her chin and onto her tank top as she coughed, a chuckling Mina smacking her on the back.  “I’m good,” she chocked, holding up a hand to stop the beating. 

“Sorry,” Mina grinned.  “Guess I should’ve waited until you swallowed that.”

Rachel took several deep breaths before turning to meet Mina’s gaze.  “Does Courtney know?” she asked, wiping her chin with her hand.

Mina nodded.  “Yeah.  We talked about it last year.  She took it pretty good though I think she was mad I hadn’t told her sooner.  Or first.”

“Oh?” Rachel asked, finally getting her lungs back.  “Who did you tell first?”

“The first girl I slept with,” Mina grinned, the Devil dancing in her eyes.

“Mina!”  Rachel chided, surprised. 

“Oh, come on.  Do you really think I’m that virginal?” 

Rachel shook her head, sipping her wine as she looked back out over the pool.  “No, I suppose not.”  After a moment she asked, “Does your dad know?”

“That I’ve been sleeping with girls for the past year and a half?”  Mina broke into laughter at the look on Rachel’s face.  “Oh man, you’re priceless, Rachel.”  She grinned and sipped her wine before she quickly sobered.  “No.”  She smirked.  “Not like he’s around long enough for me to talk to him about it.”

“He loves you, Mina,” Rachel said softly, able to hear the hurt in the young woman’s voice.

Mina nodded.  “I’m sure some part of him does.”  She took another sip of her wine.  “You know what sucks is, even before my mom got sick, he and I just were never close.  He was always so closed off, you know?  Then, when she got sick, he grew even more distant from both of us.  When she died, whatever glue she was for our family went with her.”  She shrugged.  “He did, however ask me to live at home during college.”

“Will you?  I mean, you start classes in a few months, right?”

Mina nodded.  “Yeah.  August 16.  And, I don’t know.  In some ways it would be easier to stay at home, but my scholarship covers the dorm, too.”  She glanced over at Rachel.  “What do you think I should do?  I have to decide by Friday.”

“Well, if you move into the dorms, you’ll be very much missed, Mina,” Rachel said softly.  “But, you need to do what’s right for you.  I lived in the dorms and it was great, I have to admit.  Did a lot of growing up, being away from home.”

“Either way, I think it’ll be relatively the same thing, considering he and I live our separate livers, you know?”

Rachel nodded.  “Yeah, I do.  It was somewhat like that in my family home when I was a kid, too, except it was my mom that was distant.  She had a lot of issues: depression and bi-polar.  It made it tough to be close to her.”

“They that stuff is hereditary,” Mina said.  “Do you think that’s maybe where Court got some of her problems?”

Rachel nodded with a heavy sigh, looking out over the pool again.  “Yes.  Most likely.  It seems like they’ve got her stabilized now, but I do worry.”  She met Mina’s gaze.  “You know?”

“Think she’ll ever be able to have a ‘normal’ life?” Mina asked, using her fingers as quotation marks.  “Get into a relationship, have a job, college…?”

“I’m hopeful,” Rachel admitted with a nod.  “When she’s stable, she’s such a joy to be around.” 

“Yes.  Beautiful girl, too,” Mina added.

Rachel wagged a finger at her, brow raised.  “Now listen here, missy…”

Mina chuckled.  “No, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”  She met Rachel’s gaze pointedly.  “There are others that have caught my eye and curiosity.”

*****  

Present Day:

“Dr. O’Neil?” Anna said, knocking Rachel flat out of her memories. 

Startled, Rachel looked at her receptionist from where she leaned into the doorway of the office, Rachel still sitting on the couch.  “Yeah, Anna?” she asked, clearing her throat to try and hide the fact that she had been a million miles – and ten years – away.

“Sorry to bother you, but if you don’t need anything else …”

“Oh, no!  Head on out, Anna.  Thanks so much for all your hard work and I’ll see you Monday.”  Rachel gave her a kind smile, which Anna returned before she left.

Left alone, Rachel readjusted her body so that she was lying down on the couch, her head propped up on the arm, ankles crossed casually on the other end.  She stared up at the ceiling as she rested a hand on her stomach, fingers tapping absently on the cotton-clad warmth.  Once again her mind began to wander.

*****

Summer, 2002:

“Damn it,” Rachel muttered, setting her yogurt cup down on her desk as she used a tissue to wipe at the bit of the white goop she’d dropped on her scrubs top.  “Come in!” she called at the soft knock on the closed office door as she continued to try and clean up her mess.  She glanced up when the office door opened, fully expecting to see her receptionist, Paula.  Instead, Mina’s dark head peeked in.  “Hey!” Rachel exclaimed, mess forgotten as she got to her feet and hurried over to the beautiful 18 year old.

“The wayward daughter has returns,” Mina grinned, accepting the hug she was offered.

“I should say so!” Rachel smiled into the hug, enjoying the soft warmth against her.  She gave a final squeeze but didn’t fully pull out of the hug.  Mina’s hands on her waist and her own hands resting on Mina’s arms, she smiled up at her.  “We haven’t seen much of you since Christmas break.”

“I know.  Busy semester, what with twenty four credit hours and all.”

“Yeah, yeah.  Brag away.”  Realizing what a somewhat intimate position they were standing in, Rachel squeezed Mina’s arms then moved away.  “Sit down.”  She reclaimed her seat at her desk as Mina flopped down on the couch, arms stretching out along the back on either side of her.  “So, through your first year, huh?”

“Yes,” Mina sighed, looking tired.  “Pulled off a four-point-oh, so I’m quite pleased.”

“Excellent!”  Rachel leaned over and slapped Mina on the thigh.  “Congratulations.  Have you been by to see your dad, yet?”

“No, not yet.  I’m supposed to meet him for lunch at one-thirty.”  She glanced at the clock hanging on the office wall.  “I’ve got about forty-five minutes so figured I’d come and bug you.”

“I see.  Want a banana?” Rachel offered, wiggling the yellow fruit.

Mina took it with a quiet thanks and began to peel it.  “I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Shoot,” Rachel said, picking up her yogurt container and continuing with her lunch.

“That old softball injury is bothering me again.  Would you mind taking a look at it sometime this week?”

“Sure.  I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”  Rachel glanced at the clock.  “I don’t have time right now, but, let’s see …”  She put her yogurt aside and checked the computer.  “How about Thursday?  That’s my late night.”  She glanced over her shoulder at Mina.  “My last appointment is at five-thirty.”

“Maybe I can come around six?” Mina asked.

“Yeah.  Sounds perfect.” Both their attention was taken by the soft knock at the door.  “Come in!” Rachel called out.

The door opened and Rachel’s receptionist peeked her head in.  “Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Henderson, but you’re one o’clock is early.  Do you want me to have him wait?”

“No, I’ll be out in a minute, Paula.”

“Okay.”  The door closed as softly as it was opened.

Rachel let out a sigh then looked over at Mina, who was finishing her banana.  “Sorry.”

“No, It’s okay.”  Mina pushed up from the couch and tossed the banana peel into the trash. “I knew it was a crapshoot if you’d even be available to chat.”  She walked over to Rachel and took her into a warm hug.  “It was good to see you,” she said softly.

Rachel’s eyes closed as she enjoyed the embrace, startled to find herself getting a bit lost in the feel of Mina’s body pressed against her own.  One thing she had to admit: Mina sure as hell knew how to hug!  Finally, she backed away.

“You, too.  Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight?  I know Courtney will be thrilled to see you.  I’ll throw some steaks on the grill and maybe we can all take a night swim.”

“Sounds perfect.”  Mina gave her a winning smile then left the office.

Later that evening, Rachel sat on one of the loungers, enjoying the last bit of summer sun as Courtney and Mina laid out on their own loungers on the other side of the pool where they could get the best rays.  Rachel had a book in her hands and sunglasses over her eyes, eyes which kept straying to Mina.

Mina was stretched out on the lounger, one leg up, her bare foot resting on the lounge chair.  Her arms were straight out at her sides, hands gangling casually off the sides of the chair.  Her eyes were closed and body relaxed.  The bikini she wore revealed a stunning physique that belonged in a Victoria’s Secret catalog, replete with full, luscious breasts, the nipples poking against the material of the bikini top. 

Rachel’s gaze fell to those breasts and nipples, and suddenly she had the most intense urge to see them uncovered, and perhaps even touch them, just out of curiosity, of course.  Her gaze smoothed down over those breasts to a flat, muscular stomach then to the tiny triangle of material that covered the area between muscular thighs.  There, her gaze once again stalled, again, just wondering.  After all, she’d never seen another woman’s naked body other than that of her daughter when Courtney was a little girl.

When Rachel’s gaze drifted back up Mina’s body, she was petrified to see Mina was looking back at her.  Quickly looking away, Rachel slapped her book shut and left it on the lounge, grabbing her empty tea glass and heading inside. 

In the kitchen, Rachel set the glass down and got the pitcher of iced tea from the fridge, her heart racing and hands somewhat shaky.  She couldn’t come up with logical justification for what she’d just allowed herself to do.  Not only was it Mina, her daughter’s best friend and friend of the family, but a woman!

Head down and eyes closed, Rachel rested her hands on the counter and leaned on her arms, desperately trying to get her heart rate to calm.  She cringed when she heard the backdoor open, but quickly got herself together and poured iced tea into her glass.  Suddenly, an empty glass was placed on the counter and pushed into Rachel’s view as she felt a warm body behind her, a hand on her hip.

“Can I have some?” Mina asked softly, her words not much more than a breath across Rachel’s ear, which sent an involuntary shiver down Rachel’s spine.

Rachel said nothing, as she didn’t trust her voice not to shake as much as her hands were.

“Let me help you with that,” Mina said, reaching her hand out to hold the glass steady, this move bringing her body into full contact with Rachel’s.

Rachel could hardly breathe as she felt Mina’s breasts pressing gently into her back.  She desperately tried to focus on pouring the tea without spilling it all over the place.  Tea poured, she set the pitcher down, hoping Mina would move away from her, but she didn’t.

“It’s so good to see you, Rachel,” she whispered, one hand still on the glass the other still on Rachel’s hip.  “I missed you this semester.” 

“I missed you, too,” Rachel said, her words breathy and her brain surprised at just how much she meant them.

***** 

It was Thursday night and Rachel was setting up her last appointment’s next session, as Paula had gone home at five, leaving Rachel to finish her day alone.

“Okay, Patty, I think we’re all set,” Rachel smiled, handing the card over to her long-time patient with the date and time of her next appointment. 

“Thanks so much, Dr. Henderson.”  Patty took the card and her purse and headed out, Mina holding the door open for the older woman to leave before entering for her adjustment with Rachel.

“Hey,” Rachel said in greeting, a nervous twitter in her gut when she saw the beautiful young woman.  They hadn’t seen each other since the incident in the kitchen, and in the three days since, Rachel had decided to push it out of her mind as a strange anomaly.  She’d blown it out of proportion in her mind, she was convinced.  “Why don’t you meet me in room two while I finish up here, okay?”

“Sure,” Mina said casually, giving Rachel a smile before heading through the waiting room towards the back of the building. 

The truth was, everything was essentially shut down and ready to go for the evening, but Rachel wanted to take a moment to catch her breath and focus.  She had a job to do and if she wasn’t focused on that job, she could potentially hurt Mina. 

Shutting the computer system down, Rachel locked the front door so they wouldn’t be surprised by any unwanted visitors while Rachel was working on Mina’s shoulder.  Making her way to room 2, she found Mina sitting on the padded table with her hands in her lap, waiting for Rachel.

“Same shoulder?” Rachel asked, walking around to the opposite side of the table so she would be behind Mina.

“Yeah.  Damn left shoulder has been killing me for weeks.”

“Did you do something to aggravate it?” Rachel asked, hands on Mina’s shoulder, all business now.

“I haven’t played any sports since high school, but I honestly think it’s just leaning over those books all the time, studying,” Mina said, wincing slightly as Rachel got to a particularly tender spot.

“Makes sense.  Okay, lie down.”

Mina did as she was asked and essentially became Gumby, letting Rachel do what she needed to do.  She was careful to keep her breathing calm as she knew this was going to hurt. 

“Okay,” Rachel said softly, hands on the right places for what she needed to do.  “Ready?”

“Do it.”

With a painful-sounding crack, Rachel adjusted the shoulder, feeling bad as she saw the quick look pain on Mina’s face.  “You okay?”

Mina nodded, slowly pulling herself up into the sitting position.  She could immediately feel the relief from the pain, taking her time to adjust her neck and shoulder as Rachel stood back, watching. 

“God, that feels amazing.  Thank you, Rachel.”

“You’re welcome.  I know that shoulder has bothered you for years.  Sadly, it probably always will.”  Rachel shoved her hands into the pockets of her scrubs pants, feeling suddenly uneasy as she’d performed the task she was supposed to.  Now what?

“Yeah,” Mina grinned, standing up from the table.  “Well, at least I got my very own chiropractor for that.”

Rachel smiled, feeling shy.  She looked down at her tennis shoes for a moment before she heard Mina move.  When she lifted her head, Mina was standing directly in front of her, the look in her beautiful blue eyes different than anything Rachel had seen in them before.

“I’d really like to repay you for doing that for me,” Mina said softly, stepping fully into Rachel’s personal space.

Rachel felt her stomach lurch and heart begin to race.  “You don’t have to, Mina, you know that.”

“I do,” Mina said, stepping a little closer, their bodies nearly touching.  “But I want to.”  She reached her hands out and rested them on Rachel’s hips, squeezing lightly.  “I’m willing, Rachel.”  Her voice dropped as did her head, their mouths mere inches apart.  She could feel Rachel’s increased breaths on her face.

Rachel knew she was losing total control of herself, and wasn’t sure how to feel about that.  She could feel the pull to Mina’s lips, feel the warmth of her hands through the thin cotton of her scrubs.  Her own hands came up and rested on solid biceps, slowing moving up until they cupped strong shoulders. 

“Nobody can know about this,” she managed, heart racing and chest heaving with her heavy breaths. 

“No,” Mina whispered, her hands moving around to cup Rachel’s behind.  “Nobody.”

Rachel gasped as her hips were pulled closer to Mina’s, their bodies fully pressed together now.  Her hands, of their own volition, moved up and over Mina’s shoulders and into thick, dark hair.  “We don’t have a lot of time,” she whispered, just before she bridged the gap between their lips, taking Mina in a heated kiss which deepened immediately. 

Mina whimpered into the kiss, her hands sliding up under Rachel’s scrubs top to feel the warmth and softness of the skin of her back.  After a breathless kiss, she pulled slightly away.  “Is there somewhere we can go?”

Without a word, Rachel grabbed Mina by the hand and led her across the hall to her office, flipping on the light and closing the door behind them.  She immediately found herself lying flat on her back on the black leather couch, Mina on top of her.

Rachel felt like a rabid animal as she attacked Mina’s mouth, all control lost.  She gasped as one of Mina’s thighs moved between her own, pressing against her building wetness.  She broke from the kiss, fingers clawing at Mina’s back as Mina’s hips moved against her, both breathing hard as pleasure built.

“God, you feel so good,” Mina moaned into Rachel’s neck as she increased her thrusts, Rachel’s own thigh pressing between her legs.

“Mina,” Rachel whimpered, her release close at hand.  It was suddenly on her like the roaring of a tidal wave, her cry of pleasure sending Mina to her own climax.

Trying to get her breathing back under control, Mina held onto Rachel, leaving a chain of soft kisses on her neck, enjoying the soothing caresses on her back.  Her kisses made their way to Rachel’s mouth, both sighing into the slow, sensual connection, their initial uncontrollable lust sated.   

Rachel was enjoying the wonderful kisses, one of her hands finding its way into Mina’s hair, gently gathering it and holding it out of their way.  She’d never enjoyed such intensely erotic kissing before, Mina’s lips so full and soft, her tongue heaven. 

Mina wasn’t entirely surprised when she felt her arousal building again, considering she’d wanted Rachel since she was 14 years old.  She left Rachel’s mouth and moved once again to her neck, lavishing the warm flesh with her tongue and teeth.  She moaned in appreciation of the wonderful sounds Rachel was making.  One of her hands ran down Rachel’s side and over her hip, gently pulling Rachel’s thigh up higher against Mina’s own side as she began to move her hips slowly against her again.

Rachel’s breaths were increasing as her body was completely overwhelmed by sensation.  Her eyes were closed and her head tilted to the side to offer more for Mina’s talented tongue.  She whimpered softly when Mina’s hand moved from her thigh back up over her hip, though this time slipping up under her scrubs top again and cupped her bra-clad breast.  She’d never felt so utterly worshiped or wanted before. 

Rachel used the hand that was in Mina’s hair to bring her face back up to her own, needing to taste her mouth again.  She whimpered into the kiss as Mina’s hand pushed Rachel’s bra up, exposing her naked breast to Mina’s hand.

“Yes,” she breathed into the kiss, her own hips moving with Mina’s, desperately needing to release.  “Please…”

Mina pulled her hand out from beneath Rachel’s top and braced her hands on the couch, holding herself up on her arms as she quickened the pace of her thrusts, losing her control as she pounded against Rachel, both breathing hard as they moved to their second orgasm, which hit hard and loud.

Mina collapsed on top of Rachel, her chest heaving and body pulsing as she slowly came back to the world of the living after the intense experience.  She could almost hear how hard Rachel’s heart was pounding beneath her own.

Rachel hugged Mina to her, almost trying to ground herself as she calmed.  She felt a lingering kiss on her lips, which she returned.  Opening her eyes, she looked up into Mina’s, the gaze focused on her warming her heart.  She reached a hand up and cupped the side of Mina’s face, bringing her down for one more kiss.

“I need to get home,” she said softly.

*****

Present Day:

Mina walked into the small two bedroom house she shared with her friend and fellow Resident, Todd.  The huge mountain of a black man was sitting on the couch, long legs stretched out onto the coffee table and crossed at the ankles.  His long braids were flipped over the back of the couch as usual.

“Hey,” Mina greeted, her voice sounding every bit as tired as she was.

“Hey.  Pizza in the fridge,” Todd called, never taking his eyes off the TV.

“Thanks,” Mina muttered absently, heading to her bedroom where she unloaded her backpack and kicked off her shoes.  It had been a long shift, which started an hour before it was supposed to when she was called in for an emergency. 

Still in her scrubs, Mina padded to the kitchen where she opened the fridge and saw the box of delivery pizza as well as a six pack of Todd’s beer.  “Hey, can I steal a Flat Tire?”  With Todd’s permission, Mina ignored the food and grabbed a bottle of the micro brew then headed back to her bedroom, where she fired up her laptop.

As she waited for the rather slow computer to boot up, she flopped down onto her bed and opened her beer, enjoying the first cold swig.  Resting her head back against the pillows she stacked behind her, she closed her eyes and tried to let the events of the day go by in a busy ER.  She wiggled her toes, hoping her tired feet would soon forgive her for yet another day of punishment.

Computer up and ready, Mina let out a heavy sigh as she sat up, placing her beer on the nightstand and grabbing the laptop, pulling it onto her lap.  Her email account was the homepage that internet automatically logged into, and though she saw she had no new messages in her inbox, she knew there was still one there that needed to be responded to.

Using the touchpad on the laptop, she directed the pointer to her inbox and clicked on it, revealing the awaiting message that she’d read on her phone earlier in the day.

Mina: I know it’s been awhile and I’m taking a chance that you’re still using this email address, but I’ve moved back into town and I’d like to see you.  Perhaps meet for coffee?  If you’re interested, let me know.  My schedule is very flexible.

            R

Mina read the missive again before she grabbed her beer, not quite ready yet to reply or even if she would reply at all. 

*****

Summer, 2002:

Rachel slowly chewed the bite of salad she’d just put into her mouth, her mood quiet and sullen, no matter how happy and enthusiastic she tried to be.  After all, this special dinner with her family was in celebration of Courtney’s graduation from high school that afternoon. 

“And, you looked so beautiful in your gown today,” John was saying, smiling at his daughter.

Courtney laughed.  “Dad, I looked like a banana like everyone else!”

“Hey now, just because your school colors were yellow and blue …”

Courtney rolled her eyes.  “Whatever.”

Not even entirely sure what the conversation was about, Rachel smiled at the laughter of father and daughter, trying desperately to pull herself from her reverie.  It had been two days since the encounter in her office with Mina, and she hadn’t seen her since, mostly due to her own creative ways of not being home, as Mina and Courtney had been inseparable since Mina’s return earlier in the week.

What she did know, however, was that Mina would be joining them for dessert, as she’d had some things she’d had to deal with for school the following semester after the graduation ceremony.  She was biding her time, not entirely sure how to handle herself once Mina appeared.

“So mom,” Courtney said, unwittingly breaking through her mother’s nervous thoughts.

“Yeah, honey?” Rachel asked, planting a smile on her lips.

“Are you sure you won’t go with me and Dad tomorrow?”

“Oh honey,” Rachel waved her off.  “You know I hate guns.  Besides, I think it’ll be good for you guys to have some alone time.  “Besides: I don’t exactly find it fun shooting at paper targets or dishes.”

“They’re called clay pigeons Mom, and it’s fun!” Courtney insisted.

“See?  Even better.  I don’t like to kill things.”

This sent the table into laugher, which was interrupted by, “What did I miss that was so funny?”

Rachel looked up, smile frozen on her face when she saw Mina standing behind the empty chair that had been added to the table for her.  She said nothing, instead lowering her head to the remnants of her salad, appetite suddenly very much gone.  She was aware that Mina sat down and vaguely heard as Courtney and John explained what the conversation had been about.  She felt her pulse beginning to race through her veins and breathing hitch.  When she’d arrived home from the office that night, she hadn’t been able to look either John or – especially – Courtney in the eye.  Instead, she’d claimed she was tired from a long day and had escaped to the bedroom, feigning sleep by time John joined her hours later.

Now, she felt trapped.  She wanted to run and escape Mina’s mere presence, as she wasn’t sure she could handle it. 

“Excuse me,” she said with a polite smile.  “I need to go to the bathroom.”  Rachel didn’t even look over at Mina, missing the concerned look in blue eyes.

Feeling a bit better and able to breathe, Rachel pushed into the women’s restroom, taking several deep, cleansing breaths before she reached the vanity sink and counter, leaning on its sturdy weight for a moment, trying to regain her composure. 

“God, what did I do?” she whispered, unable to face herself in the mirror.

“Followed your heart.”

Rachel whipped around to see Mina standing not four feet away.  She hadn’t even heard anyone enter the restroom.  “What are you doing in here?” she whispered, hand to her racing heart.  “Don’t you think they’ll be suspicious?”

“I told them I forget my phone in the car,” Mina said, holding up her phone.

“We can’t do this, Mina.  This is so wrong.”

Mina walked over to Rachel, standing little more than a foot away.  “Then why does it feel so right?”

Rachel looked away, only to feel the cool touch of two fingers on her chin, gently bringing her face back around to face Mina.

“Tell me that it doesn’t,” Mina whispered.

Rachel warred within herself, but knew in the end, she couldn’t lie.  “I can’t.”

Mina used the fingers that were under Rachel’s chin to trail along her jaw line.  “Meet me tomorrow,” she whispered. 

“I can’t,” Rachel whispered, tears stinging behind her eyes.

“Don’t deny this,” Mina begged, bringing her other hand up and cupping Rachel’s face.  “Meet me tomorrow.”

Seeming to be caught in an out of body experience, Rachel’s hands raised, covering Mina’s.  She turned her head and kissed the palm of Mina’s left hand as she nodded.  “Okay.  They leave around ten in the morning.” 

*****

“So, when do you think we should tell her?” John asked, grabbing his two handguns – locked in their gun cases – from the top shelf of his side of the closet. 

“Maybe tonight?” Rachel suggested, brushing her hair out after her shower.  “I wanted to wait until after she graduated, so …”

John nodded, setting the guns on the bed, ignoring the disapproving look from his wife.  “It was just one time, Rachel,” he said with a sigh, hands on hips.  “I swear.”

“We both know you’re lying and it doesn’t matter,” Rachel said, walking over to her dresser and grabbing her favorite perfume, spritzing some on her neck then down her shirt into her cleavage. 

“Who is he?” John asked, watching Rachel’s reflection in the mirror.

“Who’s who?” Rachel asked, ignoring the panic that suddenly seized her gut.

“The guy you’re seeing today.”

“What?” Rachel whirled around to face him.  “What guy?”

“That’s I want to know.  You haven’t worn that perfume in years.  You used to wear it for me, remember?”

Rachel let out a tired sigh to mask her guilt.  “I’m not seeing any guy today.”  She walked to the bathroom to apply a bit of eye makeup.  “I just felt like putting some on today, is that alright with you?”

“Guess it’s not my place anymore,” he muttered, grabbing the boxes of ammo from the closet.

Rachel stepped back into the bedroom, eyeliner pencil in hand.  “Why are you being so passive/aggressive, John?  Why are you acting as though you and I haven’t talked about separation for the past six months?  You’re acting as though I’ve just suddenly sprung this on you.”  When she got no answer, she returned to the bathroom.  “Besides,” she called out to him, “I’m sure Sandra will be thrilled.”

“Why do you have to do that?” John asked, storming into the bathroom.  “Why do you have to throw one mistake in my face every chance you get?”

Rachel let out a heavy sigh before she turned to face her husband.  “You’re right and I’m sorry.”  What she didn’t tell him was just how much of a hypocrite she truly was.  “Look, you and Courtney are about to go shoot your guns and the last thing I want is for you to be upset or distracted around those things.”

John snorted.  “Would you rather there be an accident and you’d get my life insurance money?”

“That’s not funny, John,” Rachel said, her voice deadly serious.  “I worry about your and Courtney’s safety around those things as it is.”

Rachel stood at the door with Courtney and John, giving her daughter a tight hug and kiss on the cheek.  “You guys have fun and please be safe.”

“We will,” Courtney said, returning her mother’s hug.

Left alone, Rachel felt her stomach churn with nervousness.  She made her way to the kitchen, unsure when Mina would be arriving, so she began a pot of coffee, more to settle her nerves than because she wanted a cup.  She went through the normal steps of filling the carafe and pouring it into the machine then grabbing the can of Folgers from the fridge.  The normalcy of it was calming and comforting somewhat. 

Her mind went back to her conversation and slight argument with John earlier in their bedroom.  She hated to fight with him, and luckily since they’d decided a separation was necessary, hadn’t much fought at all.  It was almost as though it were a relief to them both and allowed tensions to ease.  It wasn’t easy keeping the failure of their marriage from Courtney, but both agreed it was definitely in the best interest of their daughter, especially as she was struggling through her final semester in high school.  Rachel knew divorce was imminent, but the ‘d’ word had yet to come up. 

Rachel was startled out of her thoughts by the soft knock on the back door.  Looking up from the coffeemaker, she saw Mina standing on the other side of the French doors, a small wave and smile when she saw she had Rachel’s attention.

Letting out a shaky breath, Rachel wiped her sweaty palms on the thighs of her shorts and walked over to the door, unlocking it and pulling one side open to let Mina in.  “Hey,” she said quietly.

“Hi.  I figured it was best for me to come over this way,” Mina said, closing the door behind her.

“No, that was smart.  I didn’t even think to ask you to do that last night.”  Rachel looked into Mina’s eyes, her heart beginning to race at the absolute desire she saw there, sparking her own need.  Without a word, Rachel took Mina’s hand and led her up the stairs and to the master bedroom.

Once there, Rachel felt completely out of her league.  She had no idea what to do and felt like a teenage girl again, about to lose her virginity.  As Mina moved closer to her, the sexual energy between them was palpable.  Rachel brought her hands up and immediately buried them in Mina’s hair as they began a slow, exploratory kiss, Rachel sighing when she felt Mina’s tongue caress her own. 

Mina’s hands came up to Rachel’s hips as the kiss deepened, her hands once again moving around to cup Rachel’s behind, pulling them closer together.  She moaned in approval as Rachel gently thrust her hips into Mina’s, her hands leaving Mina’s hair to glide down a strong back to the hem of Mina’s tank top, gently tugging the material up.

The kiss broke as Mina’s tank top was pulled up and over her head, shaking her hair free before she returned her mouth to Rachel’s the kiss becoming more heated.  Rachel’s hands ran over the smooth skin of Mina’s back, her fingers finding the clasp of her bra and struggling with it for a moment before finally the clasp gave way and the two ends fell free.

Rachel broke the kiss and looked down at Mina’s breasts, which she’d wanted to see for so long.  She pulled the straps down Mina’s arms then tossed the garment aside.  Mina’s breasts were gorgeous, full and incredibly inviting with hard nipples.  Rachel brought her hands up and cupped them, glancing at Mina’s face when she heard her soft sigh.  Mina’s eyes fell closed as Rachel caressed her, taking her nipples between thumb and forefinger.

“So beautiful,” she whispered, in awe.

Rachel allowed her own shirt to be removed, followed by her bra.  Her fingers moved to the waistband of Mina’s mesh shorts, pushing the garment down tanned thighs only to find Mina was wearing no panties.

“Guess you came ready,” Rachel quipped, a wicked glint in her eyes.

Mina returned it.  “Ohhhhh yeah.”

Within moments, the remains of their clothes were scattered on the floor and Rachel had pulled the covers back on the bed and climbed beneath waiting for Mina to join her.  She felt shy and unsure, as though she knew she had a good body, she’d given birth and certainly wasn’t 18 years old anymore like Mina was.

Mina, on the other hand, had never seen a more beautiful or desirable woman in her life!  She climbed under the covers, pushing the thought out of her mind that this was the very bed where Rachel and her husband had sex, and that the husband was John, a man she’d come to know over the years and like.  He’d helped her a great deal while in high school with some of her advanced science and math classes.

Instead, Mina slid over to Rachel and on top of her where she was accepted with open arms.  The two moaned softly at the feel of their skin touched for the first time, Rachel’s hand smoothing down over Mina’s back.

“This feels so amazing,” Rachel whispered, never feeling anything quite like it.  Mina was so soft against her, and the feeling of their breasts pressed together was extraordinary.

Mina left a soft kiss on full lips.  “You’re more beautiful than I ever could have imagined, Rachel.”  Mina accepted the passionate kiss she was given, which sent her body into overdrive.

Leaving Rachel’s mouth, Mina moved to her neck, exploring and tasting, her hand running down Rachel’s side, running her fingernails over her hip and along her thigh that rose.   Rachel let out a soft sigh as Mina ran her tongue alone a collarbone before slowly making its way to a breast. 

“Mina,” Rachel sighed, hand buried in dark hair, her back arching, urging Mina to take more of her breast. 

Mina batted at the hardened nipple with her tongue before she sucked it into her mouth, her hand moving to the other breast, fingers tugging lightly on the nipple.  She could feel Rachel’s immense wetness against her stomach as she rested between spread thighs, and though she managed to take her time exploring Rachel’s body, she wanted nothing more than to taste her need.

Rachel was getting lost in the incredible sensations that Mina was filling her body with.  A long sigh escaped her lips when Mina’s tongue made a slow pass through her wetness, her hands running down over her own breasts and over her stomach to finally once again bury themselves in Mina’s hair, urging her touch.

Mina wrapped her arms around Rachel’s thighs, holding them open wide so she could feast.  She moaned into her task, enjoying every texture and taste.  She concentrated on Rachel’s engorged clit, batting at it with her tongue before sucking it into her mouth, Rachel’s hips beginning to move more and more as her pleasure rose until Mina had to hold on or be bucked away.

Rachel climax hit her hard and with an almost painful intensity, her body exploding.  She was left totally breathless and speechless as she felt Mina kissing her way back up her body, once again lying on top of her.  Rachel wrapped her arms around Mina’s neck and pulled her to her, their shared kiss passionate.  Rachel could taste herself on Mina’s lips, which at first was a little strange, then was extremely arousing, as it was a reminder of where those lips had just been.

Mina was surprised to suddenly find herself on her back, Rachel on top now.  Rachel stared deeply into her eyes for a long moment, a hand coming up to caress the side of Mina’s face.

“You are so unbelievably gorgeous, Mina,” she whispered.  “Breathtaking.”  She lay a kiss on Mina’s lips before she nuzzled her neck, breathing in her scent before running her tongue up to Mina’s ear, swiping at the lobe before she whispered, “I want to make you cum.”

A shiver passed through Mina at the words that were breathed across her ear, hands making their way to Rachel’s behind, squeezing the flesh.  Her eyes fell closed and head to the side as Rachel’s mouth returned to her neck and one of her hands to Mina’s right breast.  Mina opened her thighs, pushing Rachel’s hips closer against her own.

Rachel groaned at the feeling of the incredibly intimate contact and thrust her hips lightly in response as she continued her attention to Mina’s warm neck.  She loved the feeling of Mina’s rock hard nipple against her palm, which she ran over it in slow circles, eliciting a long groan from Mina’s throat. 

Badly wanting to taste Mina’s flesh, Rachel moved down a bit until she could swipe her tongue over Mina’s nipple, sighing in pleasure as she felt Mina’s hands in her hair, encouraging her.  Rachel could feel Mina’s wetness against her stomach and pressed down as much as she could on that wetness, hearing Mina’s soft whimper in response.

Giving both breasts equal attention, Rachel desperately wanted Mina’s mouth again.  She moved back up, taking Mina in a deeply passionate kiss, Mina’s legs spreading wider as Rachel’s hips were cradled between them again.  The kiss quickly became breathy and wet, Rachel’s hips moving against Mina’s again.

Mina broke the kiss as she was getting lost in Rachel’s thrust, which were becoming harder and quicker.  She opened her eyes to look up into Rachel’s as Rachel raised herself on her hands, her thrusts lightly banging the bed against the wall.

“Fuck,” Mina gasped, her release just out of reach. 

Both their breathing was heavy as pleasure neared, Rachel’s head falling and eyes squeezed shut as rubbed her sex against Mina’s.  Mina’s sudden and loud cry of release sparked Rachel’s own orgasm.  She grinded her hips against Mina’s, milking every ounce of pleasure she could.

Rachel fell to her forearms, face buried in Mina’s neck as she tried to get her breathing back under control.  She smiled and moaned in appreciation when she felt Mina’s arms wrap around her and hold her tightly to her.  After a long moment, Rachel lifted her head, resting it on an upturned palm as she looked down into Mina’s relaxed face.

“Hi,” Mina said, making Rachel smile.

“Hi.  That was pretty amazing.”

“Did I tell you that I’ve wanted you since I was 14 years old?” Mina said, brows raised.

Rachel laughed.  “Okay, I’m already a cougar, but now you’re making me sound like a deviant, too.”  With a quick kiss to Mina’s lips, she moved off of her, both women turning to their sides and facing each other.  Mina placed a hand on Rachel’s hip and gently tugged her closer until their legs were intertwined and hips pressed together.  The close intimacy felt wonderful. 

“Nooooo, not a deviant,” Mina chided, giving Rachel’s behind a playful slap.  “Just hot as hell.”

Rachel grinned.  She reached her hand out and rested it on Mina’s thigh, her smile fading as she looked into the bluest eyes she’d ever seen in person.  “John and I are separating,” she said softly.

Mina was stunned to hear the news and did her level best to keep any expression off her face, even though she wanted to jump for joy.  “Why?”

“This marriage has never been a good one, Mina.  Not that it’s necessarily been a bad one, but I can’t remember a time where I was fully, one hundred percent happy.”  She let out a heavy sigh, running her fingernails lightly down Mina’s thigh.  “Considering the stress of both of our schooling, I’m actually shocked we made it as long as we did, especially since we had a toddler at the time, too.”

“How did Court react to the news?”

“She doesn’t know yet.  We wanted her to get through her senior year and graduate first.  The plan is to sit down with her tonight and tell her.”

“How do you feel about it?” Mina asked, bringing a hand up to caress Rachel’s cheek, in awe of how soft her skin was.

Rachel’s eyes fell closed, a hand coming up to cover Mina’s.  She turned her head slightly and kissed Mina’s palm.  “I’m feeling that you should kiss me,” Rachel whispered, bringing Mina’s hand down to cover one of her breasts.

*****

Present Day:            

Rachel stood at the counter in the small kitchen of the three bedroom house she’d purchased upon her return to town and sorted through her mail.  She tossed the junk to the counter to be shredded later and tucked the few important pieces under her arm to sort through.  Mail separated, she left the junk on the counter and sorted through the other as she made her way down the hall to her bedroom which sat at the end. 

She sat on the bed as she sorted through her mail, knowing full well she was trying to stall before going to her home office and turning on the computer.

***** 

Summer, 2002:

Rachel and John exchanged a quick glanced, Rachel not sure what to think as her daughter’s silence continued, making her nervous.  The three sat at the kitchen table.

“Do you have any questions for us, sweetie?” she asked, hands wrapped tightly around her coffee mug.

Courtney stared at the can of Coke she’d been sipping from as she’d listened to her parents outline their plan for separation.  She squeezed the can slightly, jaw muscles bulging as she felt her anger grow.  Without warning, she shoved back from the table and hurried out of the house.

John stood, prepared to go after her but stopped when he felt Rachel’s hand on his arm.  “Let her go,” Rachel sighed, dropping her hand.  “She’s off to Mina’s house, I’m sure.  Let her absorb.”

With a huff, John left the kitchen, leaving his own coffee cup for Rachel to clean up, which she did, her mind reeling.  She had worried that Courtney wouldn’t take the news well, but hoped she knew her daughter well enough that she could go off on her own, think about what she’s been told and even to be able to vent to Mina.

Mina.

The smile that came automatically to Rachel’s face was huge as she cleaned up the two coffee cups and Courtney’s half-empty Coke can, the soda fizzing as it was poured into the sink, only for the sprayer to wash it all down the drain.

Rachel and Mina had spent three hours talking and making love, though mostly making love.  No matter how hard she thought about it, she couldn’t remember a time, even in their earliest days, when John had been able to make her feel even half of what Mina had that afternoon.

“What the hell are you smiling about?” John asked gruffly as he opened the fridge, about to grab a beer.

Rachel’s smile fell and she refused to look at him as she loaded the cups into the dishwasher.  “Maybe the fact that I won’t have to clean up after you anymore,” she quipped before turning and leaving the room.

*****

Mina barely heard the doorbell chime as she finished her run on the treadmill down in the basement.  Sweaty and out of breath, she stopped the machine and grabbed the towel she’d brought down with her as well as her bottle of water before jogging up the basement stairs to the main level of the house.  The door chimed again as she reached for the lock.  Unlocking it, she pulled the door open only to find a crying Courtney on the other side.

“Ah man,” she whispered, figuring this was going to happen.  Setting her bottled water and towel on a small table, she pulled her best friend into her arms, letting Courtney cry it out as she used her foot to kick the door closed.

“I’m sorry,” Courtney said after a long moment, pulling away and sniffling.

“Here,” Mina handed her friend the unused towel, a bit self-conscious as she knew she was sweaty and stunk.  “Come on.  Let’s get you settled while I grab another towel to clean myself up, okay?”

Mina ran upstairs, her tired legs screaming at her as she reached her bathroom, running a washcloth under warm water and wiped her face neck and underarms before putting on some deodorant.  Looking at herself in the mirror, she tried desperately to get the guilt out of her eyes and put on the face of the friend that Courtney needed.

“Here we go,” sighed and headed back downstairs. 

An hour later, the two friends lay on the couch, Courtney snuggled into Mina’s arms, her breathing soft as she slept.  Mina held her, wide awake, feeling guilty as she stared up at the ceiling, her thoughts far from her best friend, instead focused on Rachel.  She thought about their afternoon together, the way Rachel felt against her.  She could again hear Rachel’s soft sounds of pleasure, smell her need and taste her desire.  She could feel her heart beginning to race at the memories, but most shockingly her heart raced with untold emotion.  She’d wanted Rachel for so long, she thought that if she was able to touch her and have sex with her, that need and profound want would go away and be sated. 

She couldn’t have been more wrong. 

“You okay?”

Mina was startled to hear Courtney’s soft words.  She turned her head to see that her friend had raised her head and rested it in an open palm, much like her mother had done earlier that day.  She’d been so lost in her thoughts about Rachel that she hadn’t even felt or heard her move.

“Yeah.  Sorry, just thinking.”  Mina gave her a quick smile.

“Well, that’s pretty obvious and it looked serious, too.”  Courtney brought up a hand and drew her fingertip down the wrinkle that had gathered between Mina’s eyes.

Mina was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable as, to her surprise, the look that Courtney was giving her was far more than friendly.  Never in their five year friendship had she ever looked at Courtney – as beautiful as she was – as anything other than her best friend.  She wasn’t entirely sure what to think or do when Courtney lowered her upper body a bit, one of her breasts pressed against Mina’s arm. 

“Court,” she said softly, “what are you doing?”

Courtney’s gaze moved down to Mina’s lips, taking in their fullness before returning to her eyes.  “You broke up with Alexis, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Mina admitted, becoming more and more uncomfortable.  “During spring break.”  Mina brought up a hand, placing it on Courtney’s shoulder, ready to push her away.  “Court – “

“Mina?” Courtney whispered, ignoring the pleading she heard in her friend’s voice.  “Will you do something for me?”

“What?” Mina whispered back, swallowing nervously.

“Will you give me my first kiss?”

“Court – “

“I’ve never been kissed, Mina.  Never went out on date.  Please?  It all makes me nervous but I trust you.  Please?”

Mina could see the pleading desperation in Courtney’s eyes, and though she felt dread in the pit of her stomach, she agreed, not because she wanted to, but because she wanted to give Courtney her wish.

“Okay.”

Courtney’s smile was big and bright.  “I don’t know what to do.”

Pushing Rachel’s image out of her mind, Mina reached up and cupped Courtney’s face, bringing it closer to her own.  She closed her eyes, forcing herself to shut her mind and heart off as she felt the softness of Courtney’s lips against her own.  She heard Courtney’s moan at the touch as well as Courtney moving her body closer to Mina’s, almost lying atop her.

Mina’s brows drew as the kiss began to deepen, Courtney’s passion clearly coming through, sending Mina nearly into fight or flight mode.  She didn’t want this, and suddenly, Rachel’s face flashed before her mind’s eye, no matter how hard she tried to push it away.

“Wait,” she gasped, her hands pushing against Courtney’s shoulders, but her friend held onto her tighter, her tongue demanding entrance into Mina’s mouth.  “No, I can’t, wait.” 

Finally able to pull herself out from beneath Courtney’s body, leaving Courtney lying on the couch, Mina nearly fell onto the floor in her struggle to get away from her.  She ran a shaking hand through her hair. 

“This isn’t a good idea,” Mina managed, getting herself calmed down.

Courtney was quiet for a  moment, watching as her fingers picked at the material of the couch.  “Who is she?” she asked at length. 

For a moment, Mina’s heart stopped, panic kicking it back into life.  “Who’s who?”

“Who is she?” Courtney asked again, sitting up and looking at Mina.  “I’ve seen it in your eyes lately.  And, well …” she flopped her hands into her lap.  “Tonight.”

Mina sighed, running a hand through her hair.  “Yeah, I do have feelings for someone, Courtney, but it’s a complicated situation and I’m just trying to decide what to do about it.”  She plopped down in the armchair that was perpendicular to the couch, elbows resting on her knees.  She wished she could talk to Courtney about the situation with Rachel, as Rachel had been her sounding board for every other situation in her life over the years, as best friends do.  But, there was no way in hell she could tell her.

“Well,” Courtney said at length, pushing up from the couch.  She straightened out her shirt from where it had rode up a bit during the brief kiss.  “I should get home before my mom wonders where I disappeared to.”

Mina nodded, keeping her face expressionless even if she was thrilled at the idea of being alone once more to wallow in her own misery and dread.  She gave Courtney the same tight hug that she always did upon their parting, and was glad when her friend didn’t push her away, but instead returned it.

“See you later,” Courtney said with a small smile then left.

*****

Present Day:

Mina sipped her white chocolate latte, eyes scanning the small coffee shop, her stomach threatening to revolt.  Her palms were sweating as the time got closer, so she wiped them on the thighs of her jeans.  In truth, she had no idea why she’d accepted the invite to meet and talk.  After all, it had been nine years since that horrible day in the summer of 2002 and just weeks before Mina was to return to school for her Sophomore year and Courtney for her Freshman year.

Not wanting to think about that, as she might actually get choked up, Mina opted to play a game on her phone, glancing up from time to time.

*****

Summer, 2002:

Mina’s eyes fell closed as her hands grasped Rachel’s hips, which moved in a sensual rhythm on top of her, the phallus attached to Mina’s hips buried deep inside Rachel’s body.  Rachel braced herself with her hands resting on Mina’s stomach, though they moved up to cup her breasts.

“God, yes,” Mina sighed, her own hands leaving Rachel’s hips and moving them up Rachel’s sides and around to her lower back, fingernails running down along Rachel’s behind.

Rachel’s eyes opened and she looked down at the deeply erotic sight of her riding Mina’s gorgeous body, able to feel the dildo moving deep inside her.  She lightly scraped her nails over hard nipples, Mina groaning before her eyes opened, their gazes meeting.  She grabbed Mina’s hands and used them to tug Mina to a sitting position, her hips never stopping their movements.

Mina wrapped her arms around Rachel and accepted the deeply passionate kiss that Rachel initiated, Rachel’s hands buried in Mina’s hair.  The passion from their kiss made Rachel increase her movements, making them both moan.

Suddenly,  Mina pushed Rachel to lie back on the mattress of Mina’s bed, Mina now on top and bracing herself on her hands.  Rachel spread her thighs wide as Mina used her powerful body to thrust inside of Rachel, both breathing hard and fast.

Rachel felt her orgasm coming, so she reached down between their bodies and rubbed her engorged clit with firm strokes, the added stimulation sending her flying over the edge with a loud cry.

*****

At the stop sign just before she’d turn onto the street she lived on, Courtney made one more mad grope of the contents of her purse, making sure she hadn’t missed her nametag when she’d looked the previous two times, as this trip back home was going to make her late for the summer job she held at a local burger joint. 

“Damnit,” she growled, hitting the gas and rushing down her street, zipping into the driveway. 

Snatching her keys from the car ignition, she was about to bolt up the pathway to the front door when she stopped, confused when she saw her mother’s car parked in Mina’s driveway. 

“What the hell?”

Remembering why she was there, she tore her gaze away from the SUV and bounded up the stairs to the front door.

*****

Sated – for the moment – Mina leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Rachel’s lips, both smiling in shared accomplishment and pleasure.  She gently eased out of her and moved to her side, looking down at the beautiful face of the woman she knew she was falling deeply in love with.

“I wish I didn’t have to go back to work,” Rachel sighed before stretching with a contented moan, her body buzzing with amazing sensations.  She felt just like a fat cat lying in the sun.

“Well, we’ll have the weekend, right?” Mina asked, running her hand up and over every square inch of Rachel’s torso, enjoying the feel of her soft, smooth skin.

Rachel let out a happy sigh, though felt somewhat guilty about it.  “Yes.  Since John moved out last weekend – which I’m so sorry he wrangled you into helping, by the way – Courtney is going to spend the weekend with him and help him pick out furniture and that sort of thing.”

“Well,” Mina drawled, running a fingertip around a nipple. “What say you we go away for the weekend?”

Rachel met Mina’s gaze, matching her smile.  “I think that sounds wonderful.”

*****

Present Day:

Rachel sat in her car, head resting against the back of the seat and hands still gripping the steering wheel.  She looked through the windshield to the coffee shop, her heart racing.  She wasn’t sure what she’d find once she entered through that door.  Would it be welcoming?  Was it simply a ruse for payback and Mina wouldn’t show up?  Or, was she in for a firestorm, which she deserved. 

Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, she took several deep breaths then opened her car door, stepping out of the SUV and toward the shop. 

She smiled politely at the man who was leaving and held the door open for her to enter.  Clutching her purse to her side, almost as though for a safety barrier, Rachel took a few steps into the busy shop, her gaze sweeping over the tables to see if she’d see a familiar face.

“Rachel.”

Rachel’s head whipped around to a corner table where her breath was stolen from her lungs.  Slowly standing from the small table was the single most beautiful woman Rachel had ever seen.  Mina was a woman now, and dressed in jeans that fit her just right and a simple button up blouse, her hair was loose around her shoulders, eyes clear and beautiful as ever.  She now possessed a confidence that she never did as a teenager.  Then, Mina was cocky and daring anyone to question her.  Now, it was completely different.

Taking a moment to compose herself, Rachel walked over to her, feeling awkward and unsure of herself.  It had been so long, and as silly as it was, she hoped she didn’t look old to Mina now as a 45 year old woman. 

Neither woman said anything as Rachel reached Mina, who stood and stepped around the table until she stood in front of Rachel.  As much as she wanted to look anywhere else, she found her gaze locked into green eyes, seeming to no longer be filled with the joy for life and passion that she once knew.  Now, all she saw was a heaviness and sadness within their emerald depths.

Without a word or signal, the two fell into a tight embrace that seemed to last forever.

*****

Summer, 2002:

Rachel did her best to not show her annoyance as she knew it would get her nowhere.  Instead, she rested her shoulder against the opened doorway of Courtney’s opened bedroom door with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Why do I feel like it’s the first day of middle school again, Courtney?” she asked, keeping her voice even.  “What’s the deal?  You and your dad have had this planned all week.  You know he really wants you there with him.”

“Why should he care?” Courtney muttered, lying on her bed, fingers picking at one of the many pillows she was resting against.  “He’s got his girlfriend to help him.”

Rachel wanted to scream at the heavens.  For 17 years she’d been dealing with Courtney’s moods and issues, and for one weekend, one weekend, she wanted to be able to have her time.  Bringing her hands up, she ran them through her hair for a moment before taking a calming breath.

“Honey, I know this is hard, okay?  I know you’re hurting and your dad and I have been there for you every step of the way, and will continue to be.  But sweetie, you can’t pull a tantrum like you’re a little baby over something that you can’t control or fix.”

“I don’t want to fucking go, okay?” Courtney yelled.

Rachel managed to keep her calm as she turned and went into her bedroom, grabbing the cordless phone off its cradle and then walking back into her daughter’s bedroom.  She dialed John’s cell number and put the phone to her ear.

“Hey, it’s me,” she said after the other end was picked up.  “Courtney has something she wants to tell you.”  Rachel walked into her daughter’s bedroom and handed the phone out to her. 

“What?” Courtney growled, looking from the phone to her mother.

“Tell him.  Tell your dad what you just told me.”

Courtney pouted for a moment before she batted the phone away as she climbed off the bed.  “Fine.”

Rachel followed her daughter to the door, Courtney’s backpack slung over her shoulder with a weekend’s worth of clothing and necessities.  Though Courtney had calmed down from her earlier fit, she could still tell there was something wrong.

“Honey,” she said, taking Courtney’s hand and turning her daughter to face her.  As she looked into green eyes, so much like her own, she felt guilty.  Was she being entirely selfish?  “Courtney, if you really don’t want to go, sweetie …”

Courtney smiled and shook her head.  “No, Mom, I’m sorry.  I don’t know.”  She shrugged a shoulder.  “I guess this whole situation is just kind of hard.”

“I know.”  Rachel took Courtney in a tight hug.  “It’ll get better, honey.  I promise.”  She left a noisy kiss on her daughter’s cheek.

“Mom!”

Rachel smiled, bringing up a hand to wipe the lipstick mark off with her thumb.  “I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetie.”

Courtney stared at her mother for a long moment, as though memorizing her features.  “I love you, Mom.’

“I love you too, sweetheart,” Rachel responded, slightly baffled at her daughter’s behavior, but chalking it up to the situation. 

Left alone, Rachel raced up to her bedroom to finish packing as Mina would be there soon and the two could be on their way.  They’d decided to head up into the mountains, where Rachel had put a deposit on a small cabin at Taylor Lake where the two could enjoy a nice, quiet weekend.  She remembered going there when she was a kid, so was excited to return as an adult.

Going to her closet, Rachel pulled out an overnight bag and tossed it to the made bed before digging through her closet for her most comfortable – yet fitted – pair of jeans, as she knew the temps up there would be much cooler, regardless of the fact it was the height of summer, and nights could be downright chilly.  Rachel grinned to herself, knowing even buck naked, she’d hardly notice the chill with Mina’s incredible body wrapped around her.

She thought about Mina – for the millionth time in five minutes.  In truth, the younger woman was hardly ever not on her mind, truth be told.  And, now that the guilt of John still being in the house, if not in her heart, was gone, it made it so much easier to allow herself to feel.  Now, the only guilt to conquer was where Courtney was concerned. 

Courtney and Mina had been best friends since they were just barely teenagers and nothing more.  So, in truth, Rachel wasn’t entirely sure where her guilt where her daughter was concerned actually came from.  Perhaps she worried Courtney would see it as a breach of trust or simply that her mom was just messed up in the head.

Rachel let out a heavy sigh at that last thought as she studied everything that lay on her bed, ready to be stowed into the bag.  She stopped for a moment, listening as she thought she’d heard the back door to the house open.  Not hearing anything more, she returned her focus to her packing, only to smile when she felt strong arms wrap around her waist from behind.  She fell back into the familiar warmth of Mina’s body.

“Are you ready?” Mina whispered into Rachel’s ear, leaving a kiss there.

Rachel nodded, turning in the circle of Mina’s arms and giving her a proper hello.

*****  

Mina gasped, hips thrust up off the floor, nearly bucking Rachel’s mouth away as she reached an intense climax, her hands buried in blonde hair.  As she tried to catch her breath and runaway heartbeat, Mina felt Rachel kiss her way back up her body, only to lay a soft kiss on Mina’s cheek and caress her side.

“You’ve definitely got that down pat,” Mina panted, smiling at Rachel’s chuckle. 

Rachel brought the blanket back up over them both from their position in a nest of blankets and quilts on the floor of the main room of the two-room cabin, a beautiful fire popping and dancing in the stone fireplace next to them.  She rested her head on Mina’s shoulder and wrapped a possessive arm across her middle, smiling as Mina held her close, even as Rachel could still hear Mina’s racing heart.

“You know, it’s nothing like I thought it would be,” Rachel said, snuggling in a little closer, a thigh resting across one of Mina’s to be able to get even closer.

“In what way?” Mina asked, her hand reaching down to cup Rachel’s thigh, bringing it up a bit further then resting her hand atop it.

“It’s not gross,” Rachel said simply, smiling at the loud burst of laughter that remark brought from Mina’s lips. 

“So, carpet munching isn’t too bad, huh?”

Rachel’s face scrunched.  “Ew,” she muttered, eliciting more laughter from Mina.  Rachel was quiet for a moment before she spoke again.  “Do you think this is strange or wrong?”  She lifted her head and looked down at Mina, wanting to see the look in her eyes.  “What we’re doing?”

“Strange?  No.  Unusual?  Yes.  Wrong?  Definitely not.”  She brought Rachel down for a soft kiss.  “In fact,” she continued, her stomach in knots on what she was about to say.  “What if I told you I was totally and utterly falling for you, Rachel?”

Rachel felt her breath catch and butterflies in her stomach at the softly spoken words.  She studied Mina’s eyes and saw nothing but truth.  “What about Courtney?” she whispered.  “What would we tell her?”

Mina felt butterflies in her own stomach, as she had planned to tell Rachel what had happened – lest she were to hear it from Courtney – but hadn’t been entirely sure how or when.  It seemed like now was the when, so she had to figure out the how.  Taking several deep breaths, she cleared her throat then began to speak.

“I need to tell you something that happened with Courtney on Sunday.”

Suddenly feeling extremely nervous, Rachel looked into the flames for a moment, fighting the urge to move away from Mina.  “What happened?”

“She asked me to be her first kiss,” Mina said simply, deciding it was best to just get it out there.

This time, Rachel did move away from Mina.  She sat up, scooting away a few inches and pulled her knees to her breasts, wrapping her arms around her legs.  “What did you do?”

“I …” Mina swallowed.  “I couldn’t go through with it.”

“But you wanted to!” Rachel demanded, starting to pull away, though was stopped with Mina’s hand on her arm.  She felt a strange mix of jealousy and mamma bear protective over her daughter’s very fragile emotional state.

“No, wait.”  Mina also sat up, scooting in a bit closer to Rachel and taking her hands.  “Rachel, there has never been anything between Court and I except friendship, nor do I want anything more.  She’s like a sister to me – “

“Yet you offered to kiss her Mina?  Why would you mess with her emotions like that?”

Mina let out a small sigh before answering.  Finally, she met Rachel’s hurt gaze.  “Baby,” she began softly, “Courtney is my best friend.  I know how hard things have been for her, and I know she’s filled with so many fears, especially when it comes to love or sex.  She’s never had a boyfriend, even though she’s been asked out many times.  I’ve been with her when it’s happened.  But,” she shrugged, “for some reason she never will take the chance.  When she asked me to do that for her I only agreed to hopefully take some of the fear out of it for her.”

Rachel knew in her heart that the words Mina spoke were true, but she couldn’t stop feeling a sense of betrayal, which she knew she needed to get over in order to handle this situation the right way. 

“So what happened?” she asked quietly, forcing herself to keep Mina’s gaze.

“I did kiss her, but it just didn’t feel right for a lot of reasons, the main one being you.  But also, I worried about Court getting the wrong idea.”  She waited, carefully watching Rachel’s eyes and expressions, her thumb rubbing the back of Rachel’s hand.  When nothing was forthcoming, she added.  “So, I stopped it.”

Rachel let out a long breath.  “What did she do?  When you stopped it.”

“She knew.”  Mina waited until she had Rachel’s full attention.  “She knew that I was in love with someone else.”  She smiled at the sudden panic she saw flash through Rachel’s eyes.  “No, I didn’t tell her.”

Rachel looked down at their joined hands.  “What do we do, Mina?”

Mina shook her head.  “Hell if I know.  I guess just take it a day at a time, huh?  You’ve got a lot going on with this situation with John, and Court’s dealing with it, too.”  She brought their joined hands to her lips, leaving a trail of small kisses on the backs of Rachel’s hands.  “Courtney will be fine.”

*****

Present Day: 

Finally settled at the table, Rachel hung her purse on the back of her chair, unable to meet Mina’s gaze once the hug broke.  She clasped her hands on the table and cleared her throat. 

“Do you want some coffee?” Mina asked, lifting her own cup.  Rachel nodded, about to push her chair back but stopped when Mina put her hand on her arm.  “I’ll get it.  Still like mocha breves?”

Rachel met Mina’s smile and nodded again, feeling somewhat shy.  “Yes.”

“Be right back.”

Left alone, Rachel was able to let go of the breath she’d essentially been holding since she’d pulled up in the parking lot.  She glanced over at Mina, who was third in line, then back to her hands, clasped so they wouldn’t tremble.  Another glance saw Mina talking to the barista behind the counter, so Rachel took the moment to grab a compact out of her purse and look at herself once more to make sure she still looked okay and not as terrified as she felt.

Tucking it away, she resumed her clasped hands and waited for Mina to return to the table.

*****

Summer, 2002:

In her sleep, Mina pulled Rachel further back against her in the large bed that almost took up the entire bedroom of the cabin.  With a sleepy sigh, Rachel obliged, grabbing Mina’s hand and pulling it further around her.  Settled once more, soft, even breathing continued.  A moment later, however, Mina’s sleep was interrupted when a cell phone rang to life.

Eyes squinted in sleepy awareness, Mina lifted her head to the bedside table and saw Rachel’s phone light up as the ringtone continued.  “Babe, your phone,” she muttered, squeezing Rachel’s hand.

“Mmmm,” Rachel moaned, but remained asleep.

“Babe.  Rachel, your phone.”

Rachel slowly came to wakefulness, disoriented and irritated for a moment at being awoken.  “What?”

“Your phone.”

Rachel reached out and grabbed the phone, looking at the display name.  Surprised and somewhat concerned when she saw John’s name and phone number, she answered it.

“Hello?”

Mina lay her head back down and began to get comfortable again, hoping the call wouldn’t last long.  Her eyes opened a moment later.

“What?” Rachel asked, jerking upright, pulling the covers off Mina.  “What?!”

Mina was startled by the shrill tone in Rachel’s voice and sat up with her.  She was utterly startled when suddenly, Rachel dropped the phone, an ear-splitting scream leaving her throat.

“What happened?” Mina gasped, but Rachel was in hysterics.  Mina could hear John’s far away voice calling Rachel’s voice from the phone.  Trying to put an arm around Rachel’s flailing body, Mina picked up the phone.  “John, this is Mina.  What happened?”  Mina’s face went pale at the words that John literally sobbed into her ear.

Fifteen minutes later, Mina could hardly breathe as she raced down the dark highway, not a car in sight at three twenty-nine in the morning.  She didn’t dare glance over at Rachel for fear she’d break down.  Instead, she did her best to keep hold of the limp hand, only letting it go when she needed to shift.

“She’s going to be okay,” Mina whispered, voice hoarse.  “She’s going to pull through.”

Once they reached the Emergency Room parking lot, Rachel was out of the car like a shot, Mina barely having enough time to get the car turned off and keys out of the ignition.  The two ran to the sliding glass doors, where John could be seen pacing.  He had obviously not even bothered to change out of the gym shorts and raggedy old t-shirt he’d been sleeping in. 

“Where is she?” Rachel demanded, running up to him.  “Where’s my baby, John?!” 

“She’s in surgery,” he told her, eyes red-rimmed and looking more haggard than Mina had ever seen him.

Rachel, totally losing control, grabbed him by his shirtfront with both hands.  “How could you keep those goddamn guns around, John?  I’ve warned you!  How the fuck did she get her hands on one?  How?!”

“Rachel!” Mina grabbed Rachel, who was in a total rage, John utterly helpless. 

“You son-of-a-bitch!” Rachel raged, about to swing at him, but her arm was stopped when Mina grabbed her from behind, holding her arms to her sides.

“Stop!” Mina yelled, eyeing the hospital security who was making their way over towards them.  “This won’t help Courtney!  Stop!”

Suddenly and without warning, Rachel broke, her sobs loud and wracking her entire body as she sagged in Mina’s arms.  Mina could barely hold onto her as she got Rachel turned around and wrapped her arms around Rachel’s waist as Rachel clung to her, sobbing.

“I know,” she whispered, her own eyes welling no matter how hard she tried to stay strong.  “It’s going to be okay.”

*****

Present Day:

“I have to admit,” Mina said, sitting back in her chair.  “I was pretty stunned to hear from you.”

Rachel nodded, hands wrapped around the paper cup her drink was housed in, the hot liquid warming her hands.  “I know.  I’ve wanted to contact you for a long time, Mina, but I guess …” she shrugged.  “I guess it wasn’t the right time.  Or,” she said with a small smile, “I was a chicken shit.”

Mina mirrored the small smile.  “How have you been?  Where have you been?”

“Headed out east for awhile.  I felt it would be good for a change of scenery, a new start.  I felt it might do some good, which it did.”  Rachel sipped her breve before shyly meeting Mina’s gaze, which was calm yet guarded.  “I’m really sorry, Mina.”

“For what?” Mina asked, sipping from her own drink, more to help hide her expression of past hurt and anger than because she really wanted it.

“I’m sorry about the way things were handled.  I’m sorry for the blame.”  She looked down at her coffee cup.  “I’m sorry for lots of things.”

*****

Summer, 2002:

After hours of waiting, Rachel, Mina and John were allowed to go see Courtney once she’d been settled in her ICU room after an intense and delicate four hour surgery to try and remove the bullet from Courtney’s brain.

A hushed silence filled the room as the three entered.  Courtney’s slight form lay at the center of the narrow bed, metal rails raised on either side.  Various life-saving tubes and wires attached her to softly beeping or purring machines.  Courtney’s head was wrapped in thick gauze, her face pale with dark circles under her eyes.

“Oh my god,” Rachel whispered, a hand coming up to her mouth.

Mina said nothing, but her hand still rested on Rachel’s back.  Since Rachel’s outburst in the lobby, she had yet to be more than a few inches away from her, trying to give her as much silent support as she could.  Even so, silent tears rolled down Mina’s cheeks to see her best friend lying there, still up in the air whether she’d survive her self-inflicted wound or not. 

Rachel absently reached for Mina’s hand, desperately needing the connection of another human being.  She squeezed the cool fingers tightly as she made her slow way to the side of the bed, reaching out her other hand to take one of her daughter’s hands, which lay limply at her side.

“Why did you do this, sweetie?” she whispered, even though she knew Courtney was in a medically-induced coma and could not hear her nor respond.

John watched his wife and Mina, brows drawn slightly as it was more than obvious that there was a closeness and bond between them that seemed utterly inappropriate.  Now, as things had died down a bit and they knew that Courtney had made it through the surgery, his mind was a bit more clear.  Suddenly, he recalled the fact that Mina had been with Rachel in the middle of the night when he’d called.  Or, at least certainly close enough to be able to take the phone from his screaming wife. 

As he looked on, Mina met his gaze for a moment then quickly looked away.  John was stunned as some sort of warped realization entered his mind.  Saying nothing, he returned his focus to his daughter. 

Later that night. Rachel and Mina had been given an unused room on another floor as Rachel refused to leave the hospital.  John had headed to the police station to give a full statement on what had happened, the police kind enough to give him time with Courtney after surgery before escorting him.

Mina lay on the narrow hospital bed, Rachel asleep in her arms, given a sedative by a nurse to calm her down and help her sleep.  Mina rested her cheek against the head that rested on her shoulder, able to feel the soft, even breathing of the woman in her arms.  She was barely aware of the other presence in the room, however as her mind raced to her best friend. 

She was utterly baffled.  Why on earth would Courtney do something so incredibly stupid?  Why hadn’t she gone to Mina to talk about whatever was bothering her, just as she had in the past?  It was a well known fact that Courtney had lots of issues, some able to be handled using medications and therapy sessions, but many not.

Mina thought back to that night on her couch when she’d rejected Courtney’s advances, and suddenly, as tears ran down her cheeks, she wondered if she’d had something to do with this whole thing.

“I’m sorry, Court,” she whispered, holding Rachel even closer.

*****

Present Day:

Mina cleared her throat as her emotions rose, memories rushing back at her.  “It was uh …” she glanced out the large plate glass window out into the parking lot.  “It was a hard time for us all, Rachel.”

Rachel nodded, bringing up a hand to swipe at a tear that was trying to make its way down her cheek.  “Yes.  It was.”  She gave Mina a brave smile.  “Sometimes it still is.”  They were both quiet for a long moment, a heavy silence between them as they both became lost in one of the most difficult times of both their lives.  Finally, Rachel blew out a long breath.  “Sorry.”  She gave Mina a small smile, feeling awkward. 

Mina could literally feel the pain coming off Rachel in waves.  “Hey,” she said softly, reaching across the table and covering one of Rachel’s hands.  “It’s okay.  What do you say maybe we head to my place or something where we can talk without an audience, huh?” she suggested, indicating the tables full of people sitting around them.

“My house is just a couple blocks down,” Rachel said, hitching a thumb in the general direction. 

“Okay.”  Mina gave her hand a quick squeeze then let her go and began gathering her things.

*****

Summer, 2002:

Rachel stood in Courtney’s room in ICU, arms crossed over her chest as she stared out the window.  She wasn’t really seeing much of the roof of the adjoining building that was a floor lower than the one the ICU unit was housed in, nor was she seeing the falling sun.  In truth, she wasn’t seeing – or feeling – much of anything.

“Hey,” Mina said softly from behind her as she entered the room.

Rachel turned her head slightly but didn’t move from her position.  “Hey.”

Mina glanced over at the bed and her best friend, who was still in her induced coma and looked as pale and fragile as ever, before she walked over to Rachel.  “How is she today?”

Rachel glanced over at Mina, who rested her shoulder against the wall near the window, her steady blue gaze on Rachel’s.  “Same.  Her doctor isn’t willing to give up, but she’s not in the clear, either.”

Mina nodded, looking past Rachel to again study her friend.  She let out a heavy sigh.  “I passed John in the hallway when I was coming in.”

Rachel nodded.  “He’s been here as much as he can, but duty calls.”  She looked at Mina and studied her beautiful face, so drawn and sad.  “I’m really glad you’re here, Mina,” she said, her words not much more than a whisper.

Mina stepped forward and took Rachel in her arms, Rachel resting her head on her shoulder.  “You’ve been here almost nonstop for a week, Rachel,” Mina whispered.  “Why don’t you go home, get a shower, grab something to eat.  Maybe a nap?”

Rachel nodded, her eyes feeling heavy at the very mention.  “Will you come with me?”

Mina pulled her car into Rachel’s driveway, the drive silent from the hospital.  She turned off the car and glanced over at her passenger, who just stared straight ahead, shoulders slumped and face pale. 

“Come on,” Mina said softly, reaching over and giving Rachel’s thigh a light squeeze.

Once inside the house, Mina took Rachel by the hand and led her up the stairs and into Rachel’s bedroom, where Rachel just kind of stood, seeming to be lost.  Mina went into the bathroom and ran a nice, hot bath before returning to Rachel.  She brought a hand up and gently caressed the side of Rachel’s face, trying to send all the love and comfort to her that she could in that simple touch.

Rachel felt the weight of the past week and Mina’s undying tenderness and care for her start to hit her, the emotion rising in her chest.  She felt the first sting of tears behind her eyes as Mina gently undressed her, whispering soft words of understanding as she did.

“Come on, sweetie,” Mina murmured softly, leading a naked Rachel into the bathroom where Mina checked the water temperature.  “Come on,” she said, reaching for Rachel, who took her hand.

Rachel tested the water with her toes before stepping fully into the tub.  She was about to sit down but turned to Mina, pleading in her tear-filled eyes as she grabbed the hem of Mina’s shirt, lifting until the shirt cleared her head. 

Getting the idea, Mina stepped out of her shoes and then her clothing, sliding into the tub behind Rachel, who sat back against her.  She held her tightly to her as Rachel’s tears continued to fall, mixing with the water with a small plop.  Mina was surprised when suddenly Rachel pulled away from her and turned around in the small tub, maneuvering her way onto Mina’s lap until she straddled her hips and held her close, her tears never ceasing. 

Mina held her, one hand running through Rachel’s soft hair the other caressing her back.  She could feel Rachel’s tears on her neck as Rachel’s face was buried there.  Mina rocked her gently; there was just nothing left to say.

It had taken awhile, but finally Mina had been able to convince Rachel to get some sleep.  Not bothering to dress after their bath, she held Rachel close, enjoying the intimate closeness of her naked skin against her own.  After many, many minutes of absorbing the moment, she, too fell asleep.

*****

Present Day: 

“Wow!” Mina gasped, looking around the beautiful home she was being shown.  “This is really nice.”

“Thank you.  The best part is, I have very little to do in renovations,” Rachel laughed.  “But, I’ve always liked this neighborhood but just couldn’t afford it when John and I bought our first house, so …”  

Mina nodded in understanding.  “I share a house with my roommate, Todd over in Buckley.”  She scrunched her nose.  “Not the greatest neighborhood in the world, but hey, us poor Residents can’t afford anything else yet.”

Rachel laughed.  “Oh yes, I remember those days well.”  Rachel stood there for a moment, hands tucked into the back pockets of her jeans and chewed on her bottom lip, trying to decide what to do next.  Finally, “Can I get you anything to eat or drink?  Coffee, maybe?”

With a smile, Mina raised her paper cup she’d brought back with her from the coffee shop.  “I’m good.”

Rachel rolled her eyes at her own stupid question.  “Sorry.  Me, too.”  She nodded at her own cup, which had been set on the coffee table.  “Well, let’s sit down.”

Sitting on one end of the couch, Rachel wondered where Mina would sit, as she had the option of the couch or the loveseat, which sat perpendicular to it.  She was glad when Mina joined her on the couch, one cushion between them.

Rachel studied Mina for a moment before a smile crossed her lips and she slowly shook her head in wonder.  “I can’t believe you’re a doctor now.  Well, I can believe it as that was always your dream, but it’s just so wonderful to see that you achieved that.”

Mina returned the smile.  “Thank you.  I just look forward to finishing my Residency so I can get on with it, you know?”

Rachel nodded.  “Yes, I understand.  First year?”

“Yep.  Only three more to go.”

Rachel chuckled, reaching out a hand and patting Mina’s arm.  “It’ll go fast.”

Mina smiled in acknowledgment, then asked, “How’s John?  I haven’t spoken to him since that night.”

Rachel nodded.  Yes, that night.  “He’s good,” she said, resting her hand back into her lap.  “He and Sandra just had a son a couple years ago, I guess.”  She hesitated for a moment then asked, “Have the two of you spoken at all, Mina?”

Mina nodded.  “Yes.  I got an email about a year ago.  I heard about the wedding.”

Rachel smiled, eyes bright.  “Yes.  It was beautiful.”  She met Mina’s gaze.  “I wondered if I’d see you there.”

Mina gave her a rueful smile.  “I wasn’t invited.”

Rachel’s gaze fell to her hands, which rested in her lap.  “That night, Mina.”  She looked up and met Mina’s troubled gaze with as much strength and courage as she could.  “I want to talk about that night.”

*****

Summer, 2002:

Mina stood in front of the bathroom mirror, which was just beginning to lose its sheen of steam from her shower.  She winced slightly as her brush caught a tangle.  Carefully, she managed to get the tangle to release and continued until her hair was completely brushed out smooth to run down her naked back, Mina dressed in only a bra and a pair of shorts.

“Hey.”

Mina turned at the soft sound of Rachel’s voice from the doorway of the bathroom.  “Hi.  Good morning.”

Rachel entered the bathroom and stepped up behind Mina, resting her head on her upper back as she slid her arms around her waist, clasping her hands in front of Mina’s lower stomach.

“Good morning,” she sighed.

Mina covered Rachel’s arms with her own, entwining their fingers.  “How did you sleep?”

“Good.  I crashed, actually.”  She closed her eyes and absorbed the wonderful smells and energy of Mina.  “I know you have your own place, but I really appreciate you staying here with me this past week and a half.”

Mina turned in Rachel’s arms, pulling her against her and resting her cheek against the side of her head, which she’d tucked in against her shoulder.  “Nowhere else I’d rather be, Rachel.”

Rachel took a moment to enjoy the embrace, feeling so safe yet strong in Mina’s arms.  “It’s been three weeks,” she said into the hug.  “I really hope it’ll go well when they start to bring her out of the coma in a couple days.”

“I’m sure it will.”  Mina ran her hands over Rachel’s back, covered in the thin cotton t-shirt she’d slept in.  “At least she’s far more stable, now.”

Rachel nodded with a contented sigh, her face buried in the warmth of Mina’s neck.  “It’ll be strange going back into the office today,” she mumbled against soft flesh.

“Might do you some good,” Mina said, running her fingers through Rachel’s hair.  “Get your mind on something else for a bit.”

Rachel agreed with a nod as she burrowed deeper into Mina’s neck, her hands beginning to wander over the smooth expanse of Mina’s back, enjoying the textures and softness against her fingertips.

Mina’s eyes fell closed.  It felt so good to be touched, even though she was surprised Rachel was touching her that way, her touches now turned into sensual caresses with a soft kiss left on Mina’s neck.  Even though they’d spent the lion’s share of nights together since the incident with Courtney, they hadn’t made love since the night she shot herself. 

“I’ve missed you,” Rachel whispered, her hands gliding down Mina’s back, stopping just shy of her behind before they moved back up.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Mina responded, her head falling slightly to the side as Rachel began to leave a light trail of kisses.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant,” Rachel murmured against Mina’s jaw.  “This is been so hard.”

“I know it has.”  Mina’s head lowered and their mouths met in a slow, exploratory kiss, reacquainting after so many weeks apart. 

“I need you right now,” Rachel murmured against Mina’s lips.  “I so badly need to feel close to you.”  With nimble fingers, she unclasped Mina’s bra.  “Please …”

Mina nodded, dropping her arms to allow the garment to fall to the floor at their feet.  “Okay.”

Pulling away, Rachel took Mina by the hand and led her into the bedroom.

*****

Rachel stood at the stove, wooden spoon patiently stirring the simmering spaghetti sauce as the noodles finished boiling.  The garlic bread was wrapped up in a towel, still warm from the oven, and the kitchen was filled with amazing smells.  After spending the afternoon with Courtney in her room, Rachel and Mina decided to have a quiet evening in with a good dinner and good sleep, after Rachel had been run ragged all week with work and spending time with Courtney.

A glance at the clock told her that Mina would likely be coming through the back door within ten minutes or so.  She was nervous as she knew she needed to tell Mina what she’d found in Courtney’s room earlier that day.  Leaving the sauce to simmer on its own, she headed to the cabinet and brought out place settings for two.  The final piece of flatware still in her hand, she turned when she heard the doorbell chime.  Setting the fork down, she wiped her hands on the thighs of her shorts and walked to the door, wondering why Mina would be using the front door, let alone ringing the doorbell.

Smiling, she saw that the deadbolt was locked so unlocked it and pulled the door open.  “Why didn’t you just the back door, you goof?” she asked, but stopped cold when she saw John standing on the porch.

“Why would I?” he asked.  “Can I come in?”

“John, I’m about to eat dinner – “

“I think we need to talk about Courtney,” he said, pushing past Rachel and entering the house. 

Irritated, Rachel pushed the door closed and turned to face him as he sat down on the couch.  “Alright,” she said, sitting on the loveseat.  “What’s on your mind, and couldn’t this wait until I see you at the hospital tomorrow?  I told you I’d be there on my lunch hour.”

“I know and I don’t mean to keep you from your dinner, but I talked to Dr. Wick today.  I’m concerned, Rachel, and I’m wondering if we should perhaps make provisions for Courtney in case, god forbid, things take a turn for the worse.”

“What are you saying, John?”

“I’m saying she could die, Rach.  It’s not even remotely out of the realm of possibility.”

“No!” Rachel shot to her feet.  “No, John.  I will not play the naysayer with my daughter.  I will not give up on her!”

At that moment, the back door opened and Mina stepped inside, immediately turning her focus to the living room.  She froze. 

John slowly stood, his gaze never leaving Mina.  “I see,” he said, voice deadly calm.  He took a step towards the kitchen, eyeing the table.  “Your dinner guest has arrived,” he drawled.  When neither Rachel nor Mina said a word, he turned back to his estranged wife.  “I see you’d rather fuck a kid than talk about your own daughter.”  Another scathing glance sent Mina’s way, he headed for the door.  “That kid you’re fucking is your daughter’s best friend!” he raged at the front door, eyes burning into Rachel.  “How could you, Rachel?  Sick!  That’s what this is.  Sick!”

Left with just Mina and the echo of the slam of the front door, Rachel buried her face in her hands.  Letting out a loud breath, she ran a somewhat shaky hand through her hair.  Her eyes closed when she heard Mina walk towards her, though she stopped before she reached her.  Opening her eyes, Rachel looked at Mina, able to see uncertainty in her eyes.

“I can’t do this,” Rachel said softly.

“Do what?” Mina asked, taking a step closer.

“This,” Rachel said cryptically.  “This, my life, us.”

“Rachel, no,” Mina said, stepping even closer.  “Things are going so well.  Courtney will be okay, and – “

“And what?” Rachel raged, turning on Mina.  “And what, Mina?  John is right: this is sick.  Very, very sick and very, very wrong.”

“No,” Mina shook her head, eyes welling.  “It is not wrong!  We love each other.  We’re so good together – “

“Yeah, well I can’t base my life on a good fuck, Mina!” Rachel growled, storming past Mina to the kitchen where she saw that her sauce had simmered over.  She turned off the burners for both sauce and noodles and grabbed what she’d retrieved from Courtney’s room earlier that day.   “This,” she hissed, waving the small book in the air in front of Mina, who had followed her into the kitchen.  “This is why my daughter thought she’d be better off dead.”  She shoved it into Mina’s chest.

Taking hold of the thin tome, Mina noticed a bookmark which had been placed between the pages of the last entry into what she realized was a diary, Courtney’s diary.  With a roiling stomach and trembling hands, she opened it, reading the final words written in small but neat penmanship . 

           I guess my hourglass has run out of sand.  Dad has Sandra, Mom has Mina and Mina has Mom.  I am alone.  Time to go home.

                        All my love – Court

Mina was struck dumb, falling into a nearby chair, gaze riveted to the words on the page.  “How did she know?” she whispered, blood gone cold.

“I don’t know.”  Rachel stood on the other side of the large kitchen, behind against the counter and arms crossed defensively across her chest.  “All I know is that I need to be there for my daughter.  She needs me, Mina and I obviously hadn’t done a good job before and it’s my fault that she’s lying in a fucking hospital bed fighting for her life from a bullet to her fucking head.”

Mina looked up at her, stunned.  “Who is this talking?  Is this you or is this John?”

“This is a mother talking.”

Mina chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, valiantly trying to hold back her tears.  “So, what you’re saying is, in order to be there for Courtney you can’t have your own life or own love?”

“Love?” Rachel spit out, hating herself for it, but knowing it was for the best.  “Love?  Because some kid manages to seduce me while in an unhappy marriage with sex and sweet words?”  She smirked.  “It’s not love, Mina and you have a lot to learn.  What it is is over.  It’s time for me to return to the world of the adult and be there for my child, not you.”  She forced herself to look Mina in the eye.  “I have one daughter, not two.”

The words penetrating like bullets to the heart, Mina kept Rachel’s gaze as she slowly pushed back from the table, gently setting Courtney’s diary to the table.  One last look – and a great deal of will power to not cry – she turned and headed out the way she’d come, the door closing softly behind her.

With a cry of rage and agony, Rachel slid to the floor, face buried in her hands once more.

*****

Present Day:

“I didn’t know what to do,” Rachel whispered, silent tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.  “I didn’t know how to save my baby.”

Mina remained silent, her jaw muscles pulled taut as she fought her own emotions.  Finally, she let out a breath.  “I went to see her one last time,” she whispered.

Rachel’s tortured eyes met Mina’s.  “You did?”

Mina nodded, looking away as her own tears began to fall.  “Yeah.”

*****

Summer, 2002:  

For some reason, Mina was expecting John to be waiting for her as she rounded the corner into Courtney’s room.  No such thing, which gave her a huge sense of relief.  The heavy door slowly closed behind her as she entered the room, her gaze on the still form in the narrow bed.  Mina walked up to the side, taking a thin, pale hand.

“Hey,” she said softly.  “I just came to say …” Mina faltered.  “Not real sure what I came to say, I guess.”  She gave the still form a small smile. Looking down into the pale, expressionless face, Mina felt her emotions rising.  She reached a hand out and gently caressed a soft cheek.  “How did we end up here, Court?” she whispered.  “From riding around the neighborhood on our bikes and parties I made you come to with me.”  She took a breath, trying to keep her emotions at bay.  “To this.”

Mina didn’t bother to sit down as she felt it wasn’t a good idea to stay long.  She knew Rachel or John could come in at any moment.  Leaning over Courtney’s form, she placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

“You’re my best friend,” she whispered, the tears finally coming.  “You always will be.”  She smiled ruefully through the emotion.  “I’ve always been your protector, Court.  I’m sorry I wasn’t able to protect you from yourself.”

*****

Present Day:

Rachel brought up a hand, wiping at a tear that was threatening to escape.  “I never knew that,” she whispered.

Mina nodded, wiping her own tears away with a small laugh.  “Yeah, well …” 

Rachel was silent for a moment before she glanced at the clock on her DVD player tucked away in the entertainment center.  “Well, any minute, you’ll have your chance again.”

Not understanding, Mina looked at Rachel in confusion.  “What?  What do you mean?”  As if on cue, there was a knock at the door.  Mina’s gaze ripped to the front door before returning to Rachel, who was getting to her feet.

Mina watched, almost feeling as though she were in a strange daze as Rachel walked to the door and pulled it open.  On the other side stood a beautiful young woman of 26, a handsome young man standing behind her.

With a gasp, Mina stood, unable to look away.  “Oh my god,” she whispered.

The young woman gave Rachel a quick hug and kiss, her gaze never leaving Mina.  She walked towards her – a slight limp in her gait - tears in her eyes and arms outstretched, already prepared for a hug.

“Courtney?” Mina whispered, meeting her in the middle of the room.

“It’s so good to see you,” Courtney whispered, holding Mina close.

Tears streamed down Mina’s face as the two parted just enough to look at each other.  “Oh my god,” she whispered, her eyes searching Courtney’s face, seeing a beautiful, healthy woman standing before her.  “Oh my god!” she took her into another tight embrace.

Rachel stood back, the arm of her son-in-law around her shoulders as they watched together.

“She’s been wanting to meet up again since she sent that email last year,” he murmured, never taking his eyes off his wife.

Rachel smiled and nodded.  “Me, too.  God, me, too.”

In the hug, Mina’s gaze found Rachel’s, both holding.

The End …. ?