Table of Contents

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

PART 4

PART 5

PART 6

PART 7

PART 8

PART 9

PART 10

PART 11

PART 12

PART 13

PART 14

PART 15

PART 16

PART 17

PART 18

PART 19

PART 20

PART 21

PART 22

CONTROL

BY

KIM PRITEKEL

Ebook by
PDAFiction.com

Disclaimers:

These two look familiar, yadda, yadda, but they’re not.

Subtext: But of course.

Bad language: Yes, sure is.

Thanks to the readers who have given me military info. I really appreciate it.

WARNING:

THERE WILL BE THINGS IN THIS STORY AS IT PROGRESSES THAT WILL BE VERY DISTURBING FOR SOME READERS. THESE THINGS INVOLVE CHILDREN AND ABUSE.

If you’d like to tell me what a wonderful writer I am or that I royally suck, feel free at:

XenaNut@hotmail.com

CONTROL

PART 1

THE HANGAR WAS dark when I arrived. I was tired, sore and hungry as hell. Running a hand through short, blonde hair, I unlocked the office I shared with my father, Frank Davies, and plopped down in the old, vinyl and steel chair. The light wasn’t even a consideration at this point. I had been in this hangar since the age of three, and knew it like the back of my hand.

Davies Cargo was the company I owned with my father. He was getting up in years, and so was teaching me all the aspects of the business – not just the flying part. Hell, I’d been doing that since I was ten, and flying alone since the age of thirteen.

Shhhh, don’t tell the authorities.

Opening the top drawer to the desk, I found my stash of power bars.

"Yum," I moaned when I saw I had a strawberry left. Ripping the top off the silver paper, I was about to take a bite when I heard something coming from the darkened hangar where all our babies slept.

Just having returned from New Hampshire, I had just put away my baby, a 2002 Cessna 182T Skylane, and had no desire to return to her until my nine a.m. flight in five hours.

I slowly opened the door that separated the plane port from the offices of the hangar and looked around. I saw nothing. The Cessna, my father’s helicopter, and the C-130 Hercules cargo were all sleeping soundly. I could see just the outline of the numerous tool boxes and benches that lined the walls, as well as the wall rack where spare parts were kept.

A plane taking off from the Warwick Airport rattled the place, but other than that, there was nothing.

Then I heard it again.

Bending down slightly to make myself even smaller than I already was, I focused on listening, as I knew my eyes would be relatively useless in the dark. All I could hear inside the large metal building was my own breathing and the pounding of my own heart.

Maybe I only thought I had heard something? That was entirely possible. I had been flying all day, and was exhausted. I had opted to just get some shut eye in the office before my next run. If I was already hearing things, that was not good.

Dink!

Okay, I definitely heard that. Turning up the proverbial Bell-tone, I listened, closing my eyes to concentrate. The scraping of metal against the cement floor, over by the Cessna.

My baby!

My head popped up, defensive stance. Nobody was going to hurt my baby!

"Who’s there?" I called out, grabbing a wrench off the nearby table, holding it out like a sword. In answer I got running feet, deceptively quiet. The only reason I knew they were there was because I knew to listen for them. The small door that lead out to the tarmac next to the hangar door opened, showing the silhouette of the intruder running out into the night. "Stop!" I yelled like an idiot, and took off after them. By time I reached the door, I saw the person jump the fence surrounding the hangar and disappear into the night.

Cursing violently, I noticed something on the floor just beyond the doorway into the building. Picking it up, I saw that it was a magazine, a Plane and Pilot magazine, to be exact.

"Good taste in reading material," I muttered, flipping through the glossy pages. Seeing the month in the white box with the barcode, I noticed that it said April, and we were in late August. On a hunch, I headed toward the office and the basket of flying magazines on the floor. Searching through the back issues of Flying and Plane and Pilot, I noticed that, indeed, April was missing.

"Son of a bitch," I growled, smacking the magazine against my thigh.

*  *  *

"Penny!" Looking around the office with its terribly worn carpet, I did not see our receptionist/bookkeeper. I was tired and in no mood for her to be flirting with the UPS man, or bugging Reggie or my father.

"What!" was yelled in my ear, making me jump, nearly off the edge of her desk where I had myself perched. My head swung around to meet laughing brown eyes.

"Don’t do that." I poked her in her flower-printed chest. "That’s not nice."

"Yeah, and screeching at the top of your lungs at me is." She sat behind the beat up old desk, placing her hands behind her head. "What can I do you for, hot stuff?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not in the mood today," I warned, running a hand through messy hair. My dad says that normal babies, kids and adults rub their eyes when they’re tired. Nope, not me. I run my hands through my hair and make it even messier than usual. What really sucks is when I have greasy hands and do it.

"Not in the mood for what, Monk?" She flicked on her ancient Mac, waiting the regular nine and a half minutes for it to complete the boot up process. "You know, the sooner you and your father get your cheap asses in gear and get me a new computer, the better my services will be." The redhead grinned invitingly, resting her chin on her palm.

"Annnnd, just where would you like us to get that kind of cash?" I leaned forward as well, resting my wrist on top of her monitor, leaving my hand to dangle in front of the screen.

"Well, if your dad would stop buying so many toys . . ."

"Oh, whatever. I was thrilled for him to finally be able to get his very own baby. I’ve got mine, why shouldn’t he have his?"

"Because my baby would only cost a thou or so. The two of yours combined, ridiculous." The receptionist fluffed her red locks and leaned back in her chair. "So, why did you scream for me anyway?"

"Oh–" I hopped off the desk. "Coffee?" I pointed to the empty pot that was placed in the tiny lobby for guests and clients.

"Make it yourself, hot stuff. I’ve got real work to do."

I looked at her, jaw nearly dropping to land on the stained beige carpet. "You’re kidding me, right?"

"Nope." She shook her head. "Sorry, Monk."

If it hadn’t been for the twinkle I saw dancing in those brown eyes, I would have gotten pissed.

"Where’s the shit to make it, and don’t call me Monk. You haven’t earned that privilege just yet."

"The shit is in there, and why not? You’re already greasy, and it’s only eleven in the morning." She raised a challenging brow.

"I am not." I rushed into the bathroom just off the front of the office, and stared at what I saw. "Damn it." Sure enough. There was already a grease smudge across my right cheek, and a nice strip through my hair, making me look like the negative of a skunk. "Nice, Monk."

The guys in the hangar had started to call me Grease Monkey years ago, and it had stuck. Now it was shortened to Monk. And they actually thought I was as pure as one. Silly them.

Back in the office, looking slightly less two-toned, I took the coffee stuff from the small closet that held it and got the brew perking.

I went to the office to work on some paperwork and glanced into the plane port. The boys were working on the Herc.

"Hiya, boys." I headed over to our senior mechanic, and my father’s friend of forty years, Jerome.

"Hey, Monk!" Reggie called from atop the beast of a plane. He grinned from ear to ear, his long, blonde hair pulled back its perpetual ponytail. He was also a mechanic.

"Reg." I saluted him and turned back to Jerome who was looking at the plane’s wiring.

"What’s up, little one?"

"Eh, just bumming until I can go home." I watched over the older man’s shoulder as he tinkered in the different colored wires. Jerome, or Jerry to my father only, had always reminded me of Morgan Freeman. He had the rock steady, fatherly air about him, and was one of the sweetest, most caring people I’d ever known. Well, next to my dad, that is. They had flown together during the Korean War.

"So I hear you had some trouble in here the other night?" he asked, flashing his ever-present pen light into the open flap on the side of the plane. I nodded.

"Yeah. Damn kids. I have no idea who it was, but it gave me a good scare." I handed him a pair of needle-nose pliers he was reaching for.

"Thanks, kid. So, what did you do?" He glanced at me over his shoulder. "Because I know you didn’t call the authorities." The dark skin around his even darker eyes crinkled in amusement. "I’d stay away from your dad. He’s fixin’ to brand you."

"Well, forgive me if we can’t all be as bright and quick minded as he is." I saw Jerome look over my shoulder, and squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, knowing damn well that my father was standing behind me. "He’s there, right?" The darker man that I knew as Uncle Jerome my whole life, nodded, his ultra-white teeth flashing.

I turned around, pasting a grin of my own on my face. "Daddy!" I exclaimed, opening my arms, knowing damn well he wouldn’t give in to that nonsense. Instead, he crossed his arms over that barrel he called a chest. Frank Davies, though sixty-seven years old, looked much older due to the leather that was his face. Outdoors every single day of his life, either flying or fixing planes, or messing on motorcycles in his youth, the lines were etched deeply into the skin of his face, his blue eyes surrounded by a swarm of crows feet.

Oh, but I loved him dearly.

"Knock that shit off, Monk, and come with me." Without another word, he turned and headed toward our office. I heard snickers coming from above us on top of the Herc. I tossed Reggie the finger as I followed my father.

Frank sat behind the desk, the chair squeaking its protest under his weight, and eyed me. I felt like I was a bug under the magnifying glass. I could only wish to get that look down one of these days.

I stared back, never fearing my father, only admiring his wisdom, and heeding his advice whenever possible.

"So why didn’t you call the cops?" he finally said. I shrugged, sighing as I sat back in the uncomfortable metal chair across from him.

"I guess I figured it was a couple of kids being jackasses. Probably nothing to be afraid of." I reasoned, though now it sounded totally lame and irresponsible.

"Couple of kids, huh?" he continued to chew on the toothpick that was always either between weather-beaten lips, or sticking out of the breast pocket of his work shit. He had quit smoking two years ago, when my mother had died of lung cancer. It drove him crazy, and the poor mutilated toothpicks paid for it.

"Well, yeah."

"Could also have been our competition, Monk," he said with a raised brow.

"Oh, come on, dad! I know Jack Riggs is a real asshole, but do you really think he’d send somebody in here to do that?"

"Could be. Could be not. Never know." The chair began to squeak again as he began to cock it back and forth, that toothpick continually dancing between his lips.

"Okay, okay. I got it." I raised my hands in surrender. I’d raise my white handkerchief from my back pocket, but it wasn’t white anymore.

"What do you think about installing cameras? Them ‘kids’ obviously got around the security system. Maybe we need to go upgrade a bit."

"We can’t afford that, dad. Not with just picking up the C-130." I shook my head, blonde bangs dropping into my eyes. Wiping them away, I chewed my bottom lip.

"We got to find a way. If that means running a few more flights, or even some more night runs, so be it. We got hundreds of thousands of dollars in equipment in here. Can’t afford not to."

"You’re right." I sighed, knowing that running more night runs actually meant me running more night runs. "Give me the schedule when you’ve got one." I stood with a groan, my overtired body ready to give out. "For now, I’m going home."

"See you later, little one." Dad turned to the computer that hummed next to him. With a backwards wave, I headed toward the front office. Penny was typing away, long nails ticking off her words.

"Hey, Garrison," she called out. I turned, looking at her over my shoulder.

"Hey, you got it right!" She flipped me off. "Sorry. No thanks."

"Aww, too bad. I was just going to invite you over for dinner." Her brown eyes turned evil. "Or better yet, breakfast."

"You’re incorrigible!" I laughed and walked out the door.

*  *  *

Warwick, Massachusetts, a small, coastal town of forty thousand, was where I had called home for the last twenty-two of twenty-three years. Before that, I was in Boulder, Colorado, where I was born and then given up for adoption a year later.

I was luckier than most who had their birth parents. I had been adopted by an older couple, who what they may have lacked in contemporary thinking, more than paid for with an abundance of love.

Frank and Greta Davies had been married in 1954, and had tried to have children, to no avail. Modern science would probably find that Frank was sterile from some of the things he had been exposed to during his forty years in the military. So finally, his male pride stuffed down for his wife’s joy, they adopted a child.

Me.

Life had been happy for me with my parents, though there would always be that part of me who wondered where I came from. Who were my parents, and why did they feel it was best to let me go when I was thirteen months old? I don’t remember them at all, and wish I did sometimes. I loved Frank and Greta dearly, and they would always be my parents, but still. I couldn’t help but wonder.

I pulled my truck into the driveway of my childhood home. Once my mother had died, dad didn’t want to live in the house where they had lived for the past thirty years. So, he sold it to me for a steal, and bought himself a little one-bedroom house not far away. He was content, just him and his hounds, Bertie and Hawk.

My own two dogs, the evil King Tut, or Tut for short, and my mammoth St. Bernard-black lab mix, Roy, were sniffing and scratching at the door. Tut began to whine his black, brown and white beagle butt off, and Roy began to bark.

"I’m coming, boys." Key inserted, I heard the lock click, and pushed open the doors, quickly being charged by two very excited boys. Dodging tongues and excitedly wagging tails, I gave my boys their due lovin’, then headed to the kitchen.

I loved this house. It had needed a few repairs when it came into my hands, and I enjoyed doing every single one of them. One of the few rooms I couldn’t bear to make many changes to was the kitchen. It had been my mother’s favorite place in the house, dad renovating it as an anniversary present ten years ago. It was a bright, cheery yellow with black and white tiles making a dizzying pattern of hopscotch on the floor. He had put in all new appliances, black to go with the black accenting throughout. The room was large with an island in the middle where I had put in one of those neat built-in stove top jobbies.

Starving, I began to rummage through the SubZero fridge, tossing the ingredients for a salad out onto the counter. As much as I loved power bars, they only did so much.

The clicking of doggie nails on the tile alerted my attention to a hungry Tut. I glanced at him, seeing big, brown eyes looking up at me, his white and brown splotched tail wagging furiously.

"Hey, buddy. Are you hungry?" He whined and clawed at my leg. "Okay. Come on." The fridge door closing with that soft slap that I loved, I filled the boys’ bowls. Feeding them in different rooms was a must, as Tut would take over, leaving my ninety pound wuss sitting on his haunches, whining at me.

Placing Tut’s bowl just outside the back door, he scurried out after it through the lion-sized pet door, letting the rubber smack him in the ass as he began to munch his Iams.

With one final glance at me, Roy began the loud process of eating as many pieces of food as possible in one bite.

Shaking my head at the antics of my dogs, I continued with my own dinner.

It had been a long time since I’d taken my boys out for a walk around Warwick. The family was well known here, and I was often stopped by various people, mainly those dealing with the business. My father and/or I had probably dealt with just about every single business in the town, doing cargo work for them. We mostly flew things around the area, taking supplies and mail out to Martha’s Vineyard or the other islands around the coast line.

We could often offer much better prices than the traditional carrier guys. Flying was my passion and what kept me sane.

"Hey, Garrison!" Mrs. Arnold called from just outside the drugstore.

"Hey there." I smiled, walking over to meet her. Tut and Roy immediately got excited, knowing this was the lady who usually gave them a Milkbone, that for some very odd reason, Rita Arnold always had with her.

"Hi, boys," she cooed, sure enough, reaching into her bag. The dogs gulped the treats so fast I was afraid Rita wouldn’t be able to get her hand out in time. "How’s your dad?" she asked, shielding her eyes from the sun.

"He’s doing great, though he’s talking about retirement."

"No kidding?" She looked stunned.

"I know. This from the guy who said he’ll fly his way to Heaven." We both chuckled at my father’s notorious phrase.

"And how are you doing, sweetie?" The look of motherly concern on Rita’s face almost made me cry. She had been a close friend of my mother’s.

"I’m doing okay. Finally got that greenhouse together. I plan to start planting here soon." I wrestled with the dog’s leashes for a moment, as inevitably, they wanted to go in opposite directions and couldn’t refrain from crossing their lines in the process.

"Oh, that’s wonderful! You let me know when you’re ready, and I’ll bring over the seeds that the ladies bridge club gathered for you." Rita smiled, patting me on the shoulder. I smiled in return, though inside I was terrified of what she’d bring over. For some reason, she had it in her head that since my mother died, I was completely incapable of taking care of myself or my house. But, I generally just smiled and nodded.

"Thank you so much, Mrs. Arnold." I yanked on the leashes, bringing the boys together to growl at me, then whimper as they were getting bored. Their Milkbones long gone and forgotten, they were ready to move again.

"Take care, honey." Rita gave me a small hug, then hurried down the sidewalk, numerous shopping bags in hand.

I walked the streets of Warwick, only being stopped a few times today, amazingly. It was a gorgeous town, rivaling many in Maine, with its majestic views and rock formations. The only thing missing were the lighthouses that dotted the Maine coastline.

Taking in the trees, I brought out my camera, making sure I had colored 35 millimeter in it before leaving the house. I loved to take pictures, even though I was only mediocre at it. My mother used to love to have them blown up, matted and framed. They used to line the walls of the stairs going to the second and third floors, as well as my father’s den. I had taken most of them down once I took over the house. It was embarrassing for me to have them on display like that, plus seemed completely pretensions. Mothers have certain allowances that defy the common rules.

Snapping away, I took in the hundreds of colorful trees that surrounded us. The boys loved to pee on them, I loved to snap them. They were gorgeous. We followed along the path that led through the forest that was not far from my house. The dirt path was basically empty, as it was in the middle of the day and most people were at work or school.

I closed my eyes, loving the feel and smell of the fresh breeze coming off the ocean. It swept across my face, lightly blowing my hair back, which got it out of my eyes. I was grateful.

Spotting a couple squirrels who were frolicking in the brush, I tried to sneak away from my dogs, who were busy smelling to see who had traipsed into their territory. I didn’t want them to spoil the shot, so I got down on my hands and knees, quietly crawling closer to the little, furry, gray guys. They squeaked to each other, noses constantly twitching. One hiked up on his haunches, smelling the air, and feeling the change in current as I got ever closer.

Bringing my camera up from the strap around my neck, I got them in my viewer, adjusting for light and distance, chewing on my lower lip as I prepared to click the shutter.

"What the–?" I backed off, startled, when a big, wet, snotty nose suddenly poked my lens. "Roy!" I scolded, my dog looking at me with confused black eyes. "Damn it." I cleaned off the lens as best I could, and turned to see that the squirrels were long gone. Sighing in defeat, I gathered up my boys and headed home.

*  *  *

I felt myself becoming giddy as I got closer to the hangar. This was not only my livelihood, but also my life. Flying had been in my blood since I can’t remember when. It was what I loved to do, what I lived for, and would die for.

Being in the cockpit of that plane, no matter how big or small, was one of the most peaceful, satisfying feelings in the world for me. Even better than sex. Penny would never believe that, nor understand that kind of a concept.

Chuckling to myself, I headed into the office.

"Hey, hot stuff," said receptionist chirped as I grabbed my plastic travel mug from behind her desk, and headed to pour myself a nice, hot cup of coffee. Hot and black, that’s the only way to drink a cup of java.

"Howdy, Nickel." I grinned over the rim of my cup.

"Oh, you are so funny. Let me see if I can dig a smile out of my ass for that one."

"You do that." I sat on the edge of the desk, looking down at the attractive woman. She was wearing a particularly low-cut shirt today, and I had a fine view of her cleavage from my vantage point. Seeming to sense this, Penny made even more available to my green eyes.

"So, when are you going to allow me to make you breakfast?" She leaned on her crossed forearms, pushing her ample breasts together even more. I caught the gleam in her brown eyes. That is, once I was able to drag my own from the soft-looking skin. Penny was a good friend of mine, and she flirted with me unmercifully. She knew there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d ever take her up on it. I wasn’t a real fan of the type that felt the world should see what was behind curtain numbers one, two and three. I liked a little mystery in my women. However, a little perversion never hurt.

"How’s about . . ." I checked my belt loop watch. "Never?" I raised my brows and she rolled her eyes.

"Bitch."

"Slut."

Penny sighed and turned to the file cabinet behind her. "Your dad left this for you." She turned, handing me a thick manila folder.

"What’s this?" I put my mug down and began to flip through the contents. Tons of order forms and freight shipment orders.

"What you’ll be doing for the rest of the day." Penny grinned, chewing on her usual piece of cinnamon Dentyne.

"Ohhhkay. Well, I’ll be seeing you next week some time." I hopped off her desk, gave her a salute, and headed toward the office.

Reggie decided this was the best time to meet me there. He bounded into the small room, coveralls unzipped, and the top part hanging around his waist. This was to show off his large set of muscles, which looked like steroids in a can to me. His smudged wife beater barely covered his pecks.

"Hey, boss." He grinned, largish teeth shining off the fluorescent lights above.

"Hey, Reg. What’s happening?" I tossed the folder onto the desk and bent down to turn the computer on. "Dad been in today?" I looked at my watch again, seeing that it was nearly nine in the morning. Usually he beat the birds out of the trees.

"Nope. He called in. Not feeling too hot." He pointed to the work load. "That’s what all that’s for."

"Ah," I nodded, slightly troubled. I would definitely have to give dad a call later – he so rarely didn’t come in. I looked at the blue-eyed boy, just standing there in the doorway, looking for all the world like he had something to say.

"So, Garrison . . ." He whipped the backwards Seahawks cap off his head, holding it in front of his body like a shield. Shit, not again.

"Yes, Reggie?" When he used my given name, I knew something was up.

"So, um, I was wonderin’, um, see my boys are playing the Redskins this weekend, and um, well, I was going to have a little get together with some pals. You know, watch the game and all." He unconsciously rubbed a greasy finger of the embroidered Seahawk logo on the front of the cap. "You wanna come?" He looked at me with his farm boy, wholesome good looks.

"Well, uh, Reg." I ran a hand though my hair, knowing full well that my hand was clean. For now. "We’ve talked about this before, right?" I eyed him, a small curl to the corner of my mouth. "You know I’m gay, right?"

"Well, yeah, but I mean, that’s okay." He brightened, an idea coming to mind. "My sister will be there."

"Yeah, that would be great, but she’s married, buddy."

"Damn, you’re right. Okay. Just askin’, you know." He slowly backed out of the office doorway, headed for the plane port again. I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Lay off the reefer, bud," I muttered, then turned to my work.

*  *  *

The skies weren’t so friendly today as I passed through a major thunderstorm that was lighting up over New York. Chomping on my Wrigley’s like a cow with cud, I kept sending up prayers.

Once again the weather center had their heads up their asses. If just once they’d be able to spot a damn storm, it would make my job a hell of a lot easier. As it was, I was trying to dodge big, bright, really, really hot bolts of lightning.

Finally, to my great relief, the lights of runway A12 came into view at Pinsdale Airport. I set all my controls to ready for landing, glancing over to make sure Tut and Roy were doing okay. This was old hat for them. Hell, Roy usually slept through it all, while Tut kept me company. Both dogs were strapped in for the bumpy ride and landing.

"Here we go, boys." I pulled up on the stick, bringing my speed way down, and slowly bringing the bird closer to the ground, the twin rows of neon lights guiding me home.

I was in the C-130 Hercules, a huge load filling my rear. Tomorrow she’d be unloaded and reloaded for my next stop in Connecticut.

"Pin 351, this is Lady Bird 23, over." I clicked off the button, my attention on keeping this bird straight as I measured the middle of the strip to land her in.

"Lady Bird 23, this is Pin 351, come in, over."

"LB about to land a jigger to strip 12 with loader, over."

"Copy that, LB. Got the loader all ready for ya. Welcome to Pinsdale. Over."

"Thanks a bit. LB over and out." I put the radio back in its harness and readied myself for the first touch of the wheels, which I knew would skid slightly on the wet strip. Sure enough, we were shaken and stirred a bit, but all was well. Roy opened his eyes with a yawn, looking around.

"Welcome back, buddy." I grinned over at him, petting his head as soon as I could free a hand.

Two hours later, I was unloaded, my plane tied down for the night, and I was headed for Celeste’s place. Luckily she loved dogs, or this would never work.

Celeste Shelby and I met a year ago during a routine stop for me in New York, where she worked at the airport. We hit if off talking, and after a few drinks, hit it off even better in the bedroom. Whenever I had a layover in the big apple, she always provided me with a place to hang my hat, and other such articles of clothing.

"Hey you," she said as the door opened.

"Hi." I leaned in for a kiss, and got a nice, long one. It had been about three months since we had seen each other, and I was glad to see her. She was good to talk to, though we didn’t do much of that anymore. We each knew that the other served one purpose and one alone. I found it easier to have outside lovers that weren’t involved in the day-to-day parts of my life. It’s not easy for a woman to accept that her girlfriend is often hundreds to thousands of miles away three to four nights a week.

Been there, done that.

This was best for everyone.

*  *  *

The disk slid smoothly into the player in my truck, the low whirring as it was pulled into the depths of the machine. A few clicking noises later, the beautiful voice of Sarah Brightman was filling the cab. I hummed along to the music of Harem, picturing the gorgeous, big, blue/green eyes of the singer as she sang of nights filled with pleasure.

Speaking of, oh what a night I had! My body still shivered at the memory of Celeste’s touch. That woman had the most amazing tongue on her.

The boys were sound asleep in the cab, Tut taking up the seat next to me, while Roy had the entire seat behind us to himself. Celeste’s dogs always give those two a workout, and poop them out for a few days.

They had spent a good part of their day in the air, only stopping in Connecticut for a few hours. I was glad to be coming home, though it was late. The hangar would be empty, everyone long gone.

Getting permission from the tower, I landed on the strip, taxiing toward our hangar, the huge bay doors opening electronically with the push of a button. That was my one concession to dad for me to have to do all these night flights. I hated having to manually open those things.

With finesse, I got the monster of a plane into its spot, my baby right next to it. As I was climbing down from her, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.

"Hey!" I called out, turning tail and running. The person slipped right past me, and out of the closing bay door. "Damn it!" I yelled, the door shutting in my face. I knew by time I got the little door unlocked and opened, they’d be gone.

Scouring the ground, I didn’t find another magazine, nor anything else. I didn’t find anything out of place or missing in the hangar or office, either. Pulling my cell phone out of my pocket, I called the police.

Two hours, and a lot of questions later, Lt. John Reeves was leaving the hangar, an invite for me and my dad to join him and his wife for dinner.

Knowing there was nothing that could be done, I walked around the hangar one last time, the dogs following my every step, looking up at me with pleading eyes. They were tired and wanted to get home. Me, too.

About to turn out the lights in the hangar, I glanced over at my baby, the Cessna, and noticed something. Taking a closer look, I saw a slightly smudged handprint in the thin layer of dust covering her. She was set to be washed and polished tomorrow.

Inspecting the print, I thought initially that it could be mine. However, when I put my hand up to it, there was no way in hell it was mine. The palm was much larger, and the fingers, though thin, were much longer. Thinking it might be Reggie’s or Jerome’s, I also threw out that possibility. The print was in a very odd place. It was about midway between the front window and the propeller. There were no hatches there for the boys to check, and I knew they didn’t just rub her down.

Feeling anger pulsate through me, I grabbed my dogs and headed home.

*  *  *

Ignoring Penny’s morning greeting and offered cup of coffee, I headed toward the tarmac. I was on a mission.

"Dad?" I called out, seeing him talking with Reggie as they looked over dad’s helicopter. He turned, shielding his eyes as he searched for me. Spotting me stomping toward him, he waved, slightly uncertain.

"What’s got your undies in such a twist, Monk?" he asked, sipping his coffee.

"There was someone in the hangar again last night, and this time they went too far." I was fuming, not sleeping that well last night thinking about it.

"Why? Did they steal anything? John called me this morning, said everything seemed okay." He looked confused.

"Oh yeah. It was great. Nothing was taken, nothing broken, yadda, yadda. However," I held up a finger. "They touched the Cessna."

A set of blue and brown eyes widened. They knew that meant death for whomever had the balls to touch my baby.

"Oh," was all he said.

"Oh is right. Cameras. Today. Right now." I pointed to the ground with each word to emphasize my point.

"Okay, okay. Hold on there, tiger. I already got the guy coming today." He readjusted the ever-present ball cap that was tilted just far enough back on his head to show a bit of his graying hair.

"Good. That’s all I ask for." I went to turn around to head back to the office when I spotted someone by the outside Coke machine, sweeping. She looked young, though I couldn’t see much as her back was to me. She had long, dark hair that shone beautifully in the sun. Her body all but disappeared in the light gray coveralls she wore. "Who’s that?" I turned back to my father.

"Who’s who?" He looked to where I pointed. "Oh, that’s Keller." He stuck a new toothpick in his mouth, the end wiggling as he chewed it down to soften it.

"Who’s Keller?"

"The janitor. Where you been?" He grinned, blue eyes twinkling inside all those wrinkles. He always made me think of some work-roughened cowboy.

"How long?" I looked at the girl again.

"Oh, only ’bout six months or so." He was grinning at me now in the way he always did when he was about to start teasing me.

"Six months. Hmm. Never saw her before."

"Nope, guess not. You’re too busy playing in the mud and grease, Monk."

"Funny man. Funny man. Maybe it’s because of all these damn night flights you’ve got me on, huh?" I patted my father on the chest, then headed back inside.

PART 2

THE NIGHTS WERE getting colder, the days losing heat quickly. Yesterday I pulled my electric blanket out of the closet. I was so excited.

Tonight was the coldest so far this year, and my boys were gathered around me on the bed. How two mangy mutts can take up so much room is beyond me. If I ever did get a steady, or even have someone move in here, they’d be hard-pressed for room. Hell, I was!

Snuggling deeper into the blankets and pillows, I finally fell asleep. Almost two hours later, I was woken up by my father’s voice.

"Hey, Garrison? Where are ya?"

I heard his heavy boots clomping around downstairs and sat up. Immediately the boys were up and pounding down the stairs to grandpa. I heard his excitement as he was bombarded by the happy canines.

"There’s my boys! How are ya?" Both Tut and Roy were whining for a better position under those big, gentle hands.

Tugging on my sweats, I padded down the cold, hardwood stairs. Staring down at the picture of my dad laying on his back with two dogs atop him, I almost forgot my irritation.

Clearing my throat, I waited for someone to notice me. Tut ran over to me, wagging his tail. It was almost as if he were saying, "Look, mom! Grandpa’s here!" Running back to join his brother, I was again alone.

"Okay, boys. All children off the floor." I stepped down from the final stair and helped my father stand. He grunted, and a few joints cracked, but for a sixty-seven year old man, he did pretty well.

"Hey, Monk. Glad to see you were up." He grinned, the deep lines around his smile gave him a decidedly rugged look

"I wasn’t." Glancing at the grandfather clock in the hallway, I saw that it was a quarter after midnight. "Which leads me to the next reasonable question, what are you doing up?" Dad followed me to the kitchen where I promptly began to make a pot of coffee.

"What, can’t I stop in and see my daughter?" He plopped his Levied butt in a chair and watched. Those old-fashioned men – can’t do a thing to help out.

"If that were true, it wasn’t after midnight, and you hadn’t helped yourself into my house, maybe I’d believe you." I set a large mug in front of him and glared at my dogs, who were draped all over his boots. Traitors.

"Yeah, well." He grabbed the sugar container I’d stolen from a restaurant years ago, and readied it to load a ton-and-a-half of the white grains into the black stuff.

"Yeah well, what? Dad, we’ve had this talk before. You can’t just use your key whenever you want, you know." Pouring us both coffee, I joined him. We swapped the sugar and cream back and forth, the sounds of steel hitting ceramic filling the air.

Dad sighed, staring down into his coffee. I knew what was going on with him, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

I reached out my hand, covering his much larger, calloused one. "I miss her too, dad." I looked into his tanned face, hoping he’d meet my eyes. Finally, watery blue did. I had never seen him cry in front of another living person, not even mom. He sniffled quietly, bringing up a hand to swipe at his eyes before they truly sprung a leak.

"Yeah," he said, looking back into his coffee. Knowing what would do the trick, I walked over to the counter and grabbed the box of raspberry-filled doughnuts I’d bought. His eyes lit up, and without a word, he began to gobble one up. I watched him, knowing he had something to say, but couldn’t quite find the words or the courage. Maybe both.

My father was the best man I knew. I had followed him around like a lost puppy dog since the day I was brought home. He was big and tough and could crack a whip like the best of them, but underneath it all, he was filled with so much love, given so freely to mom and me for so long. Now he had no idea where to direct that leftover love now that she was gone.

"So you were saying something about the light switch in the back bedroom the other day."

I was torn from my thoughts, surprised by the randomness of his comment.

"Oh, um, yeah. It’s about to short out again." I nibbled my own doughnut, trying valiantly to avoid the big, brown eyes looking up at me, and big, pink tongues licking furry chops.

"I’ll look at it this weekend." He dunked the doughnut into his coffee, the white powdered sugar making a thin layer on top of the brew. Wrinkling my nose, I turned away. I had never understood that practice.

"Okay." We sat in silence for a moment, both lost in our thoughts. I would have been willing to bet money that he was lost in memories, just as I was. Every time I looked around the kitchen, I saw my mom. She used to hum as she’d cook. I always wondered if she was aware of it. When I was young and stupid, it used to annoy me. I’d actually leave the house to escape the incessant humming.

Now I’d do anything to hear it again.

"Dad?" I stirred my coffee, avoiding eye contact on purpose.

"Hmm?"

"Did you even get to bed?" I chanced a glance, seeing the small smile quirk up the side of his chapped lips. He shook his head.

"Couldn’t. I watched TV for a little while. That house gets cold at night, you know?" He tried to give me his most believable look, but I didn’t believe him for a second.

"Uh huh."

"It does."

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Monk?"

"You’re a chicken shit."

He burst out laughing, throwing his graying head back. The sound was deep and filled me with warmth.

"You’re right, Monk." He reached across the table and slapped me playfully on the shoulder, nearly knocking me over. I’ve had to get tough over the years. Hanging out with my dad and all his flying buddies, a girl’s got to turn into a son.

My mother used to just shake her head at us. She never understood why I wasn’t interested in the finer things in being a woman. For instance, when I was twelve years old, and about to go flying with my dad, she stopped me with some "great news." Excited, I asked what. She told me I was allowed to start wearing make-up that year, her brown eyes twinkling with excitement. I know she had pictures of us having makeover sessions together dancing in her head. Giving her the best smile I could find in my arsenal, I said that was great, then scurried off to be with the boys in a Cessna Caravan 675.

I remember begging him to go upside down all the time as a kid. I couldn’t get enough of that feeling of weightlessness, if even for just a moment.

When I returned to my kitchen, I saw that almost half my doughnuts were gone, and dad needed some more coffee. I nodded toward the pot on the counter, and he nodded. Giving us both a refill, I sat again.

"So I was thinking," he said, pouring the allotted amount of cream and sugar into the cup.

"Oh, scary."

He raised a brow at me and turned back to his coffee. "Yeah, well it happens from time to time. How’s about you and me go up this weekend?"

My eyes instantly lit up. "Really?" I wanted to bounce in my seat like a little girl.

"Yeah." He grinned, my excitement catching.

"Hell yeah!"

My father smiled at me, nothing but pride shining in those beautiful eyes.

*  *  *

Pushing open the door to the office, I closed my eyes at the feel of the warm air that met my face.

"Colder than a witch’s tit, huh?" Penny grinned from behind her computer.

"I don’t know. Is your tit cold?" I walked over to the coffee pot, a strawberry power bar in my other hand.

"Come find out."

I rolled my eyes, knowing full well that I’d walked right into that one. "It’s definitely cooling down out there. Feels like snow." Taking a sip of the hot brew, I smiled as it warmed my insides.

"Where are the boys?" Penny looked around, trying to eye my babies.

"They saw dad on the tarmac and took off."

"Traitors."

"Exactly. Thank you." I perched on the edge of her desk. "I see it, but no one else seems to."

"Eh." The red head waved me off. "Your mom probably felt the same way about you."

I looked at her, feeling suddenly heartbroken. "Do you really think so?" I set my cup down, looking into a very ‘oh shit’ face. No matter how blunt Penny may be, she knew better than to mess with the memory of my mom.

"Well, hon, I mean, you were always so close to your dad. Anyone could see that." She was struggling now. Putting her hand on my arm, she looked into my eyes, which were about to fill. "Garrison, go get yourself some Midol. You’re PMSing, girl. You’re so sensitive lately."

"How the hell do you always know when my period is coming?" I swiped at an errant tear, angry with myself. I do not cry.

"Eh, not hard. You get all sensitive and shit." Penny grabbed her purse and began to dig around in it. "Here." Handing me two white pills, I rolled my eyes.

"You can shove those up your ass." I raised a brow, grabbed my coffee, and hopped off the desk. "Some of us have work to do."

The boys were all gathered on the tarmac, looking at dad’s new toy. I was utterly amused as they all oohed and ahhed over his OH-6A Cayuse light observation helicopter. He had had it refitted with one of those nifty bubble windows, where it looks like you’re sitting in a giant snow globe.

Having no interest in this, I turned, intending to head inside. My baby was also on the tarmac, ready for me to load the mutts in and go. Sweeping by it, I saw the maintenance girl.

I had been stunned to find that someone had worked here for so long and I hadn’t even noticed her. I always got so involved in my work, and was usually gone for a good part of the day, that I was quite oblivious. Deciding that it was about time to meet one of the people whose checks I signed, I walked over to the girl.

"Hey." I stood maybe seven feet from her, but she kept sweeping, her head down, fingers tightly grasping the broom handle. "Hello?" I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, and wasn’t so sure how well it worked. But, it got her attention. The girl turned to look at me. When she did, her fingers tightened on the broom, and for a moment, I thought she was going to swing it at me.

I was surprised at how thin she appeared. Her long, dark hair shone in the sun that angled into the hangar, but looked thin and brittle. Her face was full of sharp angles, extremely high cheekbones looking as though they were threatening to break free of the skin. Her jaw was very prominent and proud. Her body was devoured by the loose coveralls she wore, so I had no idea what that looked like. She was a bit taller than me, her tanned fingers and hands long and also thin.

I realized I was staring at her, and cleared my throat as I felt like an idiot. "Hi. Keller, right?" She just looked at me, eyes hidden behind cheap sunglasses. "Okay, well, I’m Garrison. Or you can call me Monk, Grease Monkey, moron, whatever. Anything goes here." I smiled, hoping to get one in return, but the face remained stony and expressionless.

I ran a hand through my short hair, apparently the motion for the sleepy and the uncomfortable. I decided to try a different tactic.

"You’re the maintenance person, right?"

"Janitor," she said, her voice low, very quiet.

"Oh. Janitor, right. Okay. I just figured that people in that position prefer the PC version." Again my smile was met with stony silence. "Right-o, well, nice to meet you. Sorry it’s been six months."

Turning away, I headed toward my plane, wondering what the hell was up with that. It pissed me off. How dare she be so rude? I pay her damn wages! Deciding it wasn’t worth talking to dad about, I climbed into the Cessna. After all, the girl had done a beautiful job with the hangar. It had never looked so good.

*  *  *

The sky was my place and my time. This is where I came to think, to feel, to dream. Mom used to tease me that I was a bird in my past life. She may have been right.

For now, I took my own bird higher up, watching as the clouds got closer and closer, before finally enveloping the plane. We were lost in a haze of gauze, with only instruments to get us through it safely.

I loved to fly.

Turning to Roy, I got his attention. "Get me a CD, boy. Go on." I unsnapped his harness, and he scurried toward the back of the small plane, nosing the travel case open. Within a few moments, he hurried back up to me, tail wagging, as he was proud of himself. I looked at the jewel case that was clamped between his teeth.

"Good taste, big guy." I slipped Avril Lavigne’s "Under My Skin" into the player, and listened as the first strands of "Take Me Away" began. Blaring the music in the portable CD player I always brought with me, I made sure Roy was secure in his harness again, and turned back to face the white wonderland before me.

I thought back to my first memory of dad letting me fly:

"Alright now, Garrison. Grab onto that stick in front of you."

"Like this, daddy?"

"Good job, kiddo. Use both hands, now." He watched as my five-year-old self grabbed onto that stick for all I was worth. My little fingers were straining at the knuckle in my attempt to do it right. "’Kay, you holding it straight?"

"Yes, daddy." I drew my brows, concentrating as though I were being asked the next question in a spelling bee.

"Good girl. That’s it." He was quiet for a moment, then turned to me. "Hey, Monk?" I chanced a quick glance at him, knowing that helping him fly was of the utmost importance.

"What, daddy?"

"You’re flying the plane," he whispered. I turned huge, surprised eyes on him, then realized the importance of what he had just said.

"Yay!" I jumped up and down in the seat, nearly taking the stick with me, the plane jerking in my excitement.

"Whoa, now. Pay attention."

"I will, daddy."

I heard the echoes of that long ago day, and a smile came to my face. Thousands of flights later, here I was.

Tapping my fingers to the beat of "Together," I got us headed toward Pennsylvania to pick up a load.

*  *  *

Belch’s was a hopping place on Friday night. It was cold out, so everyone wanted to come inside to warm up with good music and lots of liquor. I was no exception. I agreed to meet the boys here from time to time.

Walking into the smallish bar, I tried to stand on my tip toes to see if I saw anyone in my party. Sometimes it really did suck to be short. There were swarms of people in the place, and most were men, blocking my view. And, by the way, did men every bother to take baths? The place already had the stale smell of smoke, alcohol and sweat.

Grimacing, I weaved my way through the maze of bodies, standing, sitting, dancing, whatever.

"Hey, Monk. Over here!" I heard the invite, and looked around. Tommy Ashford was waving his arm as he stood on his chair, trying to get my attention. He sat with his brother, Reggie, and a few of their friends.

"Hey, boys." I took the offered seat, right next to Reggie, of course the only one empty, and ordered a beer. The waitress hurried off, managing to push her way through the throng. I was always so impressed with the wait staff in places like this; they just had a knack for getting through the sea of humanity without much of a paddle.

"How goes it, skipper?" Tommy asked, clinking his glass of Guinness against my newly arrived Coors.

"Not bad. How about you, tall, dark and smelly?"

Tommy put his arm around his fiancé’s shoulders, his dangling hand playing the sleeve of her sweatshirt. I wasn’t terribly pleased to see Angel with him. As a rule, I always get along better with guys. I find women to be entirely too catty and, well, a real pain in the ass. Except in bed. Then they’re just fine. The dark-haired woman smiled politely at me, then turned back to her bar gazing. She always looked so bored when Tommy brought her. I think he more like dragged her there. It was obvious she didn’t want to be there, or perhaps, more aptly, didn’t want to be around me.

Reggie had told me some time ago that Angel had been raised by strict Baptist parents, and had little tolerance for those who were not Christians. What a hoot, and a load of crap. People like her made me sick.

"What?" I hadn’t even realized that Reggie had been talking to me.

"Wanna dance?" he said again. He had his long, blonde hair down, and the thin strands fell around his face and shoulders. He was trying for the Brad Pitt, Legends of the Fall look, and certainly fell . . . short.

"Did you get the plane done?" I asked with a raised brow.

He looked surprised. "Yes," he drawled.

"Oh." I glanced out over the dance floor. There were about a dozen or so couples out there dancing their booties off to some Eminem song. Great dance stuff, if nothing else. Turning back, I looked into his very hopeful blue eyes, and finally nodded. I took a swig of encouragement from my bottle, then pointed it at him. "You behave," I warned, then got up to the snickers around the table.

I led us to the middle of the floor, trying to elbow us some space. I hated feeling like I was pinned. Too much claustrophobia in the blood. Reggie followed like a little puppy, just happy to be seen with me. I may sound bitchy or full of myself, but ask anybody – the guy was hooked.

"So, you look really good tonight," Reggie said once we got ourselves situated. We were not touching, the song fast and pulsing. He matched his movements to my own, though he was awkward and jerky. I looked up into a mostly handsome smiling face.

"Thanks, Reg, but I gotta tell you, buddy, you see me in this stuff all the time." I motioned to my jeans and ribbed tee. I never bothered with jackets in this place, no matter what time of year. I always fried.

"Yeah, well then you look good all the time." He grinned, proud of himself for his quick compliment.

"Thank you."

"So you still boinking that chick up in the city?"

"What?" I asked, hard to hear him over the even louder song by Tupac that followed Eminem. Reggie leaned in closer, saying in my ear,

"That chick you bang, are you still?"

I laughed, knowing why he was asking. He usually did at least once a week or more. Since he’d found out about Celeste, he’d been infatuated with the idea. Once, he’d even gotten the nerve to ask if he could watch. I’d told him to fuck himself, and he’d said he would probably do just that. This time I answered,

"Yes, and no, you still can’t watch."

"Damn." He wrapped his hands around my waist, trying to bring me closer to him. As if I wouldn’t notice. I went about a half an arm’s length, and put my hands on his chest, giving him a menacing look. "Okay, okay. I got it." He removed his hands, but we kept the current distance between us, our bodies gyrating to the heavy beat.

The thing is, I really liked Reggie. He had started at Davies Hangar about a year or so ago, and used to be a really cool guy. Somewhere along the way, he’d developed a crush. Personally, I think it was when he heard that I was a lesbian. Ever since, he’d been determined to get into my pants, or watch me get into another woman’s. I think that’s why they always invited me to the bar – maybe I’d get lucky, and by proxy, so would they.

Either way, I enjoyed my time with the boys.

Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw something, and had to look. Sure enough.

With a squeal of delight, I turned away from Reggie and ran toward the entrance of Belch’s. Strong arms wrapped around me as I was lifted into the air and held tight. I smelled that same smell that I had come to know as safety in an unpredictable world. A musky smell, mixed with male sweat.

Finally put on my own feet again, I looked up into the darkest eyes I’d ever seen, remembering the first time I’d ever seen them. There was so much mischief in those eyes, yet also a great deal of wisdom.

"How are you, my girl?" Gabe asked. He grinned at me, teeth white and slightly crooked. One of the front ones slightly overlapped the other, which I thought gave him character.

"I’m fine." I stared up at him, stunned to see him here in Warwick. "What are you doing here?" I held him at arms’ length, taking in the rumpled clothing, unshaven face and dirty hair. "Where have you been?" Not giving him a chance to answer either of my questions, I grabbed him by the hand and led him to the back room of Belch’s. There were pool tables back there, and quiet juke box music.

Finding a table, we sat, Gabe setting the small bag he had with him on the floor at his feet. I just looked at him. I had not seen my best friend in two-and-a-half years. I had missed him so desperately.

"I’m doing okay. Finally made it back to these parts." He grinned, I clasped his hand. Gabe was the only guy I could say that if I were straight . . .

"Where have you been?" I wanted to throttle him for scaring me as bad as he had. "Not a goddamn word from you, Gabe!" I accused, green eyes filled with fire.

"I know, I know. I’m sorry." He looked down at our joined hands, dark brows furrowed, a crease there that hadn’t been there the last time I’d seen him.

"What’s wrong? You look so tired." I reached across the table and tried to smooth out that wrinkle, to no avail. He looked at me with his bloodshot eyes.

"Can we go to your place?"

"Sure. Just let me tell the people I was here with." I quickly stood and hurried over to Reggie and Tommy. "I got to hit the bricks, boys. Sorry."

"Why?" Reggie was about to stand, but with a firm hand of mine on his shoulder, he remained seated.

"An old friend needs me."

"Gabe!" Tommy exclaimed, standing and offering his hand to my friend, who had stepped up behind me. Reggie’s blue eyes looked him over, then looked at me.

"How are you, Tom?" Gabe asked, pumping Tommy’s hand up and down.

"Not bad, not bad. This is my fiancé, Angel. Honey, this is wild Gabe Potestio, the Italian Stallion of Warwick." Gabe rolled his eyes. "The three of us used to tear up the town." He smiled at Gabe and me. "Everyone swore those two would be the first to get hitched."

I snorted, rolling my eyes. I felt Gabe’s hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, well, some things change," he said, his voice quiet. I looked up at him.

"Ready to go?" With his nod, we said our final farewells and left.

An hour later found us sitting on the bed Gabe would be using. I had followed him up here to help him unpack what little he had, but we ended up sitting and talking. Just like old times. My boys were scattered around us, Tut’s head laying in Gabe’s lap.

"So let me get this straight," I said, eyeing him through the haze of his cigarette smoke. I so hated smoking, and did not want it in my house, but it seemed Gabe had really needed one. "You packed up the Volks with all your worldly possessions, of which you had oh so much, and left? Just like that?" I snapped my fingers for emphasis. Gabe nodded.

"Yup. Just like that." He also snapped his fingers.

"Smart ass." I sipped my water. "Why?"

"I’d had enough of this place. I wanted out, wanted a new start, wanted . . ."

My eyes flickered up to Gabe’s dark ones as he trailed off. He was looking at the black of night beyond the window, his reflection looking back at him. I was curious, and sensed that there was so much more to this than just needing a new start. He’d get around to it, and I’d wait patiently for it.

"I got caught, Garrison," he said, his voice deadly serous.

"Caught?" Okay, I’m confused.

"I lost control of it all," he said, his head now lowered, hand absently petting Tut’s head. I waited, trying to be patient. I had a horrible sense of foreboding. Gabe sighed heavily and leaned back against the headboard. "I’ve been in prison these past two years."

"What!? Prison?" I was stunned, shaken to the core. Not my Gabe. He nodded.

"Got busted with six ounces of meth on me, and they found the lab in my trunk." He finally looked at me, fear of rejection in those dark eyes. I was stunned, looking more like a guppy gasping for water than an understanding friend. "Please don’t hate me, Monk. You can’t hate me." His pleading voice and eyes touched my very soul. However, I felt incredibly betrayed. Did he not trust me enough to tell me what had happened, or even what was going on more than two years ago?

"Gabe, you have never done drugs in your life." I searched his eyes, knowing at one time that that was true. He smiled, though it was tired.

"No, you’re right. I was dealing. Selling this shit to young kids, Gar. I will never forgive myself for that." He was pleading for my understanding now. As much as my heart wanted to call out to him, I felt myself tuck in a bit.

"How did you get started in that, Gabe? Why did you never talk to me? I want the whole story."

I listened as Gabe smoked cigarette after cigarette, my emptying the ashtray more than once. He unraveled a shocking tale of which I had unwittingly lived right in the middle.

During our last year of high school together, Gabe had met a guy named Brandon Townsend, who I had met a few times, and had not liked one bit. He had just given me the chills, so I declined any future offers to go out with them, and Gabe stopped asking. Now I knew why.

So, needing a job to buy him a new guitar, Brandon had offered Gabe a crack at the money if he’d do him a small favor.

Gabe said yes.

And so, three years of selling began. I felt sick to my stomach as I realized that all those times my best friend, and one-time boyfriend, had told me he had to work, or was going to stay in with his mom, was lying. He was out doing something that I was so vehemently opposed to. Hell, he was out doing something illegal that had the potential of destroying young lives.

"I wanted to stop, Garrison. Really I did. And I almost did once. Remember that summer of the massive rainstorms? We were like, what, 19?" I nodded, moving to make room in my lap for Roy’s big head. With a deep groan, the dog settled in again.

"Yes," I said, uneasy, not sure what surprises he had for me this time.

"Well, that was the summer Billy Ling died of a drug overdose," he said, pulling from his cigarette, dark eyes squinting as smoke emanated all around him. I nodded, remembering that well. We had gone to his funeral. "I sold him that dope, Gar. He died ’cause of me." He punched his own chest, guilt written all over his handsome face.

I sighed, torn between beating the crap out of my old friend and trying to console him over an ancient tragedy. I reached out, putting my hand on Gabe’s leg, squeezing slightly.

"Gabe, what you did, dealing, was undoubtedly stupid. But you have to realize that Billy chose to buy and take that shit. I’m not condoning what you did, but I’m not going to condemn you, either. The state dealt you your punishment, and you get to live with this for the rest of your life. I think that’s the lion’s share of punishment right there." I sipped from my water, looking at him over the brim of the glass. He nodded, flicking ash into the tray.

"I know." He sighed. "I’m just so tired. Really, truly exhausted." His eyes met mine. "You know?"

"No. But I can try and imagine." Giving his leg one more squeeze, I let it go.

"How’re your parents? Why don’t they live here anymore?"

I stopped cold, ready to get up to end the evening. With a sigh, I sat back down, not looking at him for a moment. Gathering my thoughts, I turned to look him in the eye.

"Mom died, Gabe." My voice was soft, quietly speaking of the beloved dead. His face nearly crumbled before me.

"What?"

"Lung cancer. It took her within a year and a half of being diagnosed."

"Oh, Garrison." He leaned forward, extinguished his cigarette, then took me in his arms. "God, I’m so sorry." I rested my head against a too-thin shoulder, closing my eyes at the familiar smells and feel of him. "When?"

"Nearly two years ago."

"And Frank?"

I smiled at the mention of my father, pulling away. I saw the shimmer of a tear in his dark eyes. Reaching up, I caught it on the end of a fingertip and wiped it away on my pant leg. Gabe and my mother had always been so close. She was the surrogate for a mother that had abandoned him and his father when he had been a young boy.

"Dad’s fine. He’s still at the hangar with me. We’ve expanded a bit since you were here last, though. We got us another plane, and dad got a helicopter. One of those crazy ones with the bubble-like observation window?" We both laughed, remembering my father’s musings of always buying one. He finally did. Gabe’s laugh faded, the smile falling from his face.

"Where’s your mom buried?"

"Oak Creek." I took his hand. "Want to go say hi sometime?" He nodded, looking much like a little boy. "Okay. But for now, sleep." I stood, shooing the dogs off the bed, both jingling from tags and collars as they shook their fur free of the sleepies. Gabe nodded, not even bothering to complain. "We’ll talk more tomorrow." I gave him a soft kiss on the lips, and left him to himself.

As I padded down the hall, and finally the stairs to let the dogs out, I thought of my friend just upstairs. Gabe had meant so much to me at one time. Still did, truth be told. He had been the first and only guy I’d ever dated and slept with. Through no fault of his own, it had been that intimate time with him that had made me realize that women were where my carnal interests lay. He had been kind and gentle, but just wrong.

The morning after our night of . . . er . . . passion? I sat him down and explained my feelings to him. He had been devastated at the time, thinking the sex between us had been the greatest thing since sliced cheese. To him it had. To me it had been slightly painful, uncomfortable to be sure, and I had felt like a total fraud. As I had kissed him and held him to my naked body, I kept trying to picture my then friend, Kylie. Somewhere in there I knew that had to be against general heterosexual policy.

Turned out I was right.

Eventually Gabe had come to be very understanding, and had stood up for me on more than one occasion. Since we had been seventeen at the time, the kids at school had been cruel in their reaction to my newly-discovered sexuality. I had gotten into fights, Gabe had gotten into fights. All over little ol’ me.

I smiled at the memories, still stunned that he was in my house. I wanted so badly to grab the phone and call dad to tell him the good news. It was late, and though dad’s sleeping times were getting more and more erratic, I didn’t want to chance waking him up.

Letting two very excited dogs out to pee one last time for the night, I filled the coffee maker and set the alarm on it, waiting for my boys’ return. Tomorrow I’d talk with dad about getting Gabe a job and place to stay. I knew my old friend would want a place of his own. Like me, he loved his privacy. Maybe we could find him some over-the-garage type of apartment or something.

The dogs ran ahead of me, claiming their spots on the bed early so I’d have to shove my way in to get some sleep.

"Mongrels," I muttered.

*  *  *

I squealed as, yet again, dad soared down, making it look as though we’d crash. My body thrilled at the adrenaline rush.

"How you doing, Gabe?" I asked, grinning like a fool over my shoulder. I laughed, seeing just how green my friend really was. He held up a hand, the other on his stomach.

"Fine. Just peachy."

Turning back, I looked over at my father, who winked at me. He was going to punish Gabe any way he could. Dad was thrilled to see Gabe back, but immediately took to the fatherly role of concern and discipline. I did not envy Gabe the two hours in the office with dad, that’s for sure.

Another few dips and we were on our way home.

Dad had offered Gabe a job in the office, working alongside Penny. This was temporary, as we couldn’t really afford to hire another worker, but my friend needed it. Tomorrow, Gabe and I were going apartment hunting for him.

Getting us to the ground safely, Gabe scurried out of the Cayuse. Needless to say, he didn’t share my love of flight and weightlessness.

I threw my arm around Dad’s waist as we headed into the hangar. I noticed our janitor, Keller. I have no clue how I had missed her over the months. Still felt like an asshole for that. How many of her paychecks had I signed? She was scrubbing at a grease spot just outside the huge bay doors, on hands and knees. I was surprised to see that as she bent over, I could see just about count every vertebrae in her spine through the material of her coveralls.

"Thorough, I’ll give her that," I said, turning to see dad looking her way and nodding. "How old is she anyway?" We disappeared into the shade of the hangar, which I was grateful for. That helicopter got so hot, considering the cockpit was mostly glass.

"Seventeen," he said, unzipping his flight suit. I followed the example, letting mine hang around my waist. Reggie glanced up at me, still not a happy boy. Since Gabe had come back, he was decidedly avoiding me. I was slightly bummed, as Reg was my buddy. But, I figured he’d get over it. Not like he had a choice.

As we headed toward the office, Gabe was coming out of the bathroom.

"Okay, big guy?" I grinned, smacking him on the shoulder. He glared at me, but nodded. With a chuckle, I sat across from dad, both of us leaning back in our chairs, one ankle crossed over opposite knees.

"He going to live?" Dad asked, pulling a fresh toothpick out of the stash in his drawer. He tossed me a power bar, which I gratefully ripped into.

"Yeah. He puked. He’ll be fine now."

"Good." Dad nodded, dancing toothpick between his lips.

"Seventeen, huh? What’s her story?" I glanced over my shoulder, seeing the pony-tailed girl pushing her mop bucket in front of her into the hangar.

"What do you mean what’s her story? She’s seventeen-year-old kid who needed a job. The end."

I glanced at him under my bangs, seeing the merriment in his eyes.

"Nicely done, dad. Maybe in your next life you’ll be a bard."

"Could be."

"Doesn’t she eat? Is she one of these damn teenagers who think the Lara Flynn Boyle, I’m starving look is in?"

"Doubt that." As he got up, a myriad of joints popped and creaked in protest. "I got to meet with that group from Iowa," he muttered. We were getting more and more tour business, and that was good. Besides, dad loved to prattle on and on about all the history of the area and the hot spots. Especially if he happened to get a fellow vet on the plane.

I grabbed a cup of coffee from the front, glad to be able to escape Penny’s gossip mill. She was more than thrilled to have someone to talk to all day long. Gabe was patient and a hell of a listener.

Standing in the doorway of my office, I sipped the strong brew, grimacing at the old taste, and watched the guys at work. They laughed with each other, tossing good-natured barbs back and forth. According to Jerome, Reggie couldn’t get it up if there was a strong wind. And from the wisdom of Reggie’s lips comes the startling revelation that Jerome’s father was an ass, and his mother an ostrich.

Shaking my head, my gaze landed once again on Keller the janitor. She was rinsing out her well-used mop, ready to slap it on the concrete floor of the hub. She looked at no one, talked to no one, and no one really talked to or paid much attention to her. In fact, it almost seemed as if Reggie and Jerome avoided her. It was almost as if it was an unsaid thing – Keller went near them to mop, sweep or whatever, and they’d automatically move out of her way.

Noting a slight limp in the girl’s gait, I watched as she headed back outside. Following, as I needed to get my baby ready for a run later in the day, I saw her look up into the sky. She ran a hand over her dark hair to smooth the ponytail back into place, then lifted her sunglasses, and I froze.

Before me were the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen. She still looked up into the sky, watching, I imagined, dad’s helicopter up in the air, loaded with a bunch of Iowa people in it. The sun shone through the light blue of those eyes, seeming to make them glow. It was almost eerie.

Sensing she was being watched, Keller turned and looked at me. I was stunned yet again, as those eyes, so vibrantly blue, were dead. There was nothing living in their depths, no character, no life, no spark. Nothing.

Shivering, I hurried over to the Cessna.

PART 3

WE DROVE THROUGH the gates, the tall, stone archway high overhead. I loved this cemetery; the history, the beauty. I know it seems morbid, but I often came here with my camera. Pardon the pun, but I’d kill two birds with one stone – see mom and take pictures.

Gabe sat beside me, quiet, hands tucked into his lap around the bouquet we’d brought, grown in my own greenhouse. He stared out the passenger side window, taking in all the stones and crypts. Monuments to the dead surrounded us.

Dad had a hard time coming back here. The only time I’ve truly seen him all out sob was the last time he was here. The day we buried mom. He stood in his suit, which hung off his drooping shoulders like it, too, wanted to be in the ground with mom. His normally large, brute self seemed so small and inconsequential when having to face the death of the love of his life.

They had both been each other’s first everything, and I was worried he wouldn’t be able to live without her. So far he’d done a fine job, save for his midnight visits. I know it gets to him the worst at night. She’s not there to wrap his arms around and hold close. She’s not there to wake him from his nightmares of war and destruction. She’s not there.

I had been so young to lose my mother, only twenty-one years old. But I was grateful for every moment I had.

"You okay?" I asked, shutting off the engine of my truck. Gabe nodded, but I could see his bottom lip quivering. He was by far the most sensitive man I had ever known. Perhaps that’s what had drawn my young gay self to him so long ago.

We walked quietly among the dead, the sky appropriately gray overhead, fat clouds threatening rain or perhaps even snow. Just up ahead, I saw the huge monolith that represented the Macon family. I knew that mom was just beyond that. The autumn grass crunched beneath our feet, the only sound in the very still day.

"I should have been here," Gabe said finally, breaking the silence further. I took his cold hand in mine, but said nothing. He would beat himself up enough in his own mind. And, there was nothing for me to say – it had been his own stupidity that kept him away in the first place. He knew that, I knew that. There was no reason to regurgitate.

Mom’s stone was a double. Dad’s name and birth date was already carved into the marble. Now all it needed was a body and his death date. I refused to look at his side. He would live forever. He had to.

Beautifully carved,

Ruth Elizabeth Davies, beloved wife and mother. June 13, 1939 — October 10, 2002

I knelt down, gathering up the dried petals of the last bunch of flowers I’d brought. Reaching behind me, I felt the fresh ones being put into my hand, and arranged them in the stone holder.

"Here you go, mom," I whispered. "Grew ’em for you." I heard the cracking of Gabe’s knees as he knelt beside me. He stared unbelievingly at the stone before us, almost as if he were trying to change the name with the power and sheer will of his mind. Taking his hand again, I felt the stiff fingers wrap around my own.

"Seems unreal, doesn’t it?" Little white puffs escaped with each word. The chill in the air was a near constant now. Summer was officially over.

"God, yeah," he said, eyes burning into mom’s name. "I feel like such a loser. I should have been here for you." He looked at me, tears gathering in those dark eyes. I smiled softly.

"Gabe, things happen the way they’re supposed to. I just really hope you’ve learned your lesson. Please tell me you have. I can’t stand to think what you must have gone through in prison. But then again, I can’t stand to think about why you were there, either." I looked at the flowers, so colorful against the gray of the day, and the stone holder that embraced them.

"Yeah, I did." He plopped back onto his butt, resting his hands on his raised knees. "Was she in any pain?"

I shook my head. "Not at the end. The doctor had her so full of pain medication." I sighed heavily. "Hell, I’m not sure just how much she knew at the end, you know? That shit had her so gone."

"I’m surprised she took anything."

"She didn’t have a whole lot of choice. Dad saw what pain she was in, and insisted. In some ways I think it was for the best, and in others, not so much." I sat also, huddled in a sitting ball. I could feel the dew from the grass seeping into the denim of my pants, making me shiver slightly.

"So, what do you think of the place we found for you?" I asked, picking up an autumn yellowed blade of grass and taking it apart. Gabe sighed, glancing at me.

"I like it."

"It’s really cute."

"Yeah." He smiled, dimples winking at me. "Small."

"Hey, at least you have more than one room and your steel toilet isn’t bolted to the wall."

He glared.

"Yeah, yeah. But how am I going to impress all the ladies?"

I threw my head back and laughed. A strange sound in such a sad place. I looked at him, grinning ear to ear.

"You’re so cute." Laying my head on his shoulder, my thoughts were brought back to mom. "You know, she used to ask me almost daily if I had heard from you for the first year."

"Oh, rub it in, girl. Make me feel even more like a schmuck, thank you."

"Eh, you are a schmuck." I didn’t bother to look at the glare I knew I was getting, just nuzzled in further.

*  *  *

The drive back to the hangar was a long one as there was the infernal road work going on. The usual way to just about anything was diverted to some bumfuck back road. I was not happy about this.

Finally getting to the hangar after dropping Gabe off at my place, I was ready to fly. I had a short flight schedule today, not going very far – just dropping loads of medical supplies off to the Vineyard.

I hadn’t brought my boys with me today, knowing that I was taking Gabe to the cemetery. I missed them already. I hated flying without them. So, I’d just have to really crank the music. I was already thinking about the selection when I saw Keller near the Cessna.

She was sweeping, but it was strange, almost like she was stoned or something. Her progress was very slow. Her head was down, those ever-present sunglasses placed firmly on her face. Damn kids these days. I wondered if she was hung over. As she pushed the push broom over the smooth surface of the cement, she was missing things left and right. It was very unusual for the normally meticulous janitor.

With no time to worry about it or question her, I got into my plane.

*  *  *

The plane came to a satisfying stop, and I took my headset off, seeing Jerome coming over to me to take over.

"Hey girl." He smiled, pearly whites glinting at me.

"Hiya, Jerome. How’s she look?" I hopped down, unzipping my flight suit.

"She looks great. Landing a little rough, huh?" he looked up into the sky at the gathering of clouds. "Pretty strong winds."

"Tell me about it. I’d say something’s on its way." I patted him on the arm. I began to head into the hangar when I stopped. "Hey, you going to watch our big movie star on the History Channel tonight?" Again those white teeth.

"Are you kidding? Miss it? Crazy girl." He waved me off and climbed into the plane.

I was so proud of my father. He had been contacted about a year ago to talk on a documentary about fighter pilots. The crew had come here to Warwick to film him talking about his days as a Top Gun.

Whistling a little tune, I waved at Reggie and headed into the office. I was leaving early today. I was going home and getting ready for the little party I was holding in honor of dad. All the boys and Penny were coming over, as well as a few of dad’s old war buddies. Chips, dip, beer, rowdy old guys and good TV.

Nearly skipping into the office to finish up the paperwork on my delivery today, I signed off on all the contracts and paperwork with a flourish. I stripped out of the flight suit and hung it up in the closet, then headed out.

Traffic was heavy for a little while as everyone was herded into the detour with the road construction. After awhile though, with the way I had to go, it was smooth sailing.

Turning the radio on ‘shatter the windows’ level, I cracked both windows, so I wouldn’t do just that, and headed out into the cold, gray day. I sang along, badly, as I cruised down that bumfuck road aforementioned.

As I pressed on the accelerator, bad me, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Or, more aptly, I noticed someone. Squinting into the harsh gray light, I realized it was Keller the janitor. She was walking along the side of the road.

I drove by, not wanting to think much of it, but then my conscience began to eat at me. With a low growl, I slowed the truck, checking the rear-view to make sure there was no traffic behind me. When I checked that, I noticed that Keller was leaning over, and she was retching.

"What the hell?" I muttered, slowing the truck even more. She stood, seeming oblivious to my truck moving back toward her. I watched her carefully over my shoulder as I got closer to her. She tripped over a very small rock, nearly losing her balance. She stumbled to one knee, head hanging.

The truck came to an abrupt stop, and I jumped out. Running around the front, beams of the headlights bouncing off my mid-section, I reached her.

"Hey," I knelt next to her, my hands on her shoulders. She looked up at me, and what I saw nearly knocked the wind out of me. Keller’s face was a mess. A mass of bruises licked the left side of her face, and it looked as though her left eye was swollen shut, but she had those damn sunglasses on.

I stood, doing my best to help this girl to hers. She was so unsteady, losing her footing constantly, and nearly collapsing to the ground more than once. Panic was settling in inside me as I had no clue what to do other than get her to the hospital.

"Come on, Keller. It’s okay," I breathed as I finally got her to stand. I grabbed the handle of the truck door, and holding her against me to keep her up, I yanked the door open, nearly knocking us both over with it. "Okay, Keller. Step up, hon," I whispered into her ear. Her entire body was trembling, and I wasn’t sure why. I was terrified for her. Hell, I was terrified for myself. I knew nothing of the extent of her injuries, but from the way she was reacting, they must have been bad. What the hell had happened to you?

Slumping in the passenger seat, it was difficult to get the seatbelt fastened around the girl. Finally, thankfully, the thing snapped into place, and I hurried around the truck, smacking the hood as I did, then got in, cursing as my hip reminded me of my carelessness.

Putting the truck in gear, then grinding it, as in my hurry and fear, I tried to put it in gear again, we were off. Glancing over at her, I noticed that when she threw up, some of it had ended up on her shirt front.

Jesus!

It was full of blood.

Putting the pedal to the metal, my tires squealing as I hot the main road that would lead us to St. Luke’s Hospital.

Every chance I got I looked over at my passenger. She seemed to be falling in and out of consciousness, and I got more worried each time she blacked out. At a stop light, I turned to her.

"Keller, look at me." She complied, though dopily. I pushed the sunglasses up to look into her eyes. Just as I had suspected- pupils dilated at different rates. This girl had a roaring concussion. "You need to try and stay awake, hon." I told her, trying to cut through the haze she seemed to be lost in.

The short ride to the hospital seemed to take forever, a never ending journey to a place of help for this poor girl. Glancing over at her again, I saw that her head was against the cool glass of the side window. I stared at the bruises that looked back, and I swore I saw the shape of a hand in that mottled mess.

The electronic doors whooshed open in honor of our entrance into the ER. I looked around, frantically trying to find a nurse. On the drive over, Keller had vomited again, blood erupting down the front of her shirt. I had had no time to react or pull over.

I could still feel the sting behind my eyes at the helplessness I felt. A nurse called for an orderly hurried through the swinging doors, rolling a wheelchair. Keller is quickly placed in it, her head lolling back as he pushed her back through the doors. I followed, oblivious to the lady at the desk calling "Miss! Miss, you can’t go back there!"

A team of nurses and a doctor get Keller onto the bed in the little cubicle, starting to check for the injuries she has sustained. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and kind, but firm pressure on my body to propel me out of the ER, and back to the waiting room.

My breath caught as the nurse began to remove Keller’s shirt. The entire right side of her torso was covered with similar bruises to those on her face. Her ribs were acutely visible, horrendous black patches of bruising and dried blood covering the lower half.

With that last view, the door was swung shut in my face, and I was left standing in the lobby, tears trickling down my cheeks.

Feeling that helplessness again, I turned, looking at me. There was only the harsh lights above, and an uninterested receptionist behind her computer, typing away. In the distance I heard a phone ringing, then stopping as someone answered it, I assumed. The footfalls of a phantom walker down some hall in the maze that was St. Luke’s. I heard the hum of the Pepsi machine not far from me, and the choking sound of the coffee machine as it spewed forth the desired cup someone wanted.

Feeling the hard tiled floor beneath my booths, I decided to sit.

"Excuse me, miss?"

Looking over my shoulder, I saw that disinterested receptionist suddenly interested in me.

"Yes?" I stood again, walking over to her work station. Brown eyes looked up at me.

"Do you have any information on that patient?" she pointed toward the closed doors to the ER.

"Um, a little. But not much."

"Name?" she looked at me, fingers poised above the keyboard to her computer. How impersonal.

"Um, Keller. I don’t know her last name." I ran a shaky hand through my hair.

"Date of birth?"

"I have no idea. Uh, I know she’s seventeen. Listen, if you’ll let me call my father, she works for us, and he can bring her file."

"Alright." The lady looked irritated as she typed something else in, that annoying tick, tick, tick, tick of the keys as her fingers whizzed across them.

Walking back to the chair I had planned to claim, I pulled my cell out of the holster attached to my belt, and dialed the hangar’s number.

"Davies Hangar and Cargo," Penny said, her voice chipper yet distracted.

"Penny, it’s Garrison. Is my dad there?" I closed my eyes, covering half my face with my hand. I could feel my heart beating in my ears, and my blood racing through my body as the fear and adrenaline of the past half hour were replaced by quiet waiting.

"Yeah. What’s up, sexy?" I could hear the purr in her voice, and became instantly irritated.

"Listen Penny, it’s really important. Please just put me through."

"Okay." She sounded hurt, but right now I didn’t care. I’ll explain later.

"What’s up, Monk?" dad says, his voice harried. "This better be good. I was just about to leave to get the beer for tonight."

"You need to get to St. Luke’s with Keller’s file as fast as you can." I told him.

"What? Why? What’s this all about? Penny said you nearly bit her head off."

"Dad, Keller’s been hurt. I don’t know how or what happened, but get your ass down here!" Rarely, if ever, did I talk to my father that way, but I had had enough of this. That girl needed us, and I was determined to help her. Dad seemed to sense this. His voice softened immediately.

"Okay. Be there in a few." The line went dead, and I stared up at the ceiling tiles, my hand tapping a rhythmless tune on the arm of the chair I sat in. My foot began to tap along, too. It feels like another eternity for dad to get there. This whole damn day has taken a week.

"What the hell is going on?"

I turn, nearly jumping in my seat at the sudden voice. Bounding out of my seat, my father catches me in his arms, Gabe standing behind him. Stepping back from my father, I take the employee file he has in his hands, and return to the brown-eyed receptionist.

"Have the information now?" she asked, covering the mouthpiece of the phone she was using. I nodded. She got off the phone and turned to me, again fingers poised above the keyboard. "Anytime you’re ready, ma’am."

I glared at her for her impatience and impersonal nature, and opened the manila folder.

"Full name, Keller J. Mitchum. Um, date of birth, September 30, 1986, huh. She has a birthday coming up." I cleared my throat at the woman’s glare. "What else do you need to know?"

"Does she have anyone we need to get hold of? And what is your relation to the patient?"

"There is no family listed here, and she works for my dad and I." I closed the folder, and placed it on the counter.

"Does she have insurance?" When there was no answer forthcoming, the woman looked up at me. I had no idea.

"Yes, she does."

My head jerked to the side when I saw dad standing beside me. Maybe he knew something I didn’t.

"Through her services for you?" the woman asked, fingers actually taking a break from hovering over the keys.

"Yes."

Now my head really jerked at him.

"What?" He gave me a shush look, and I shushed, though still totally confused. Even Jerome didn’t have insurance with us. We couldn’t afford it.

"I’ll need your information here, sir."

Dad scooted me to the side so he could fill out some paperwork, so I decided to go sit with Gabe.

"What’s going on?" he asked, putting down the magazine he’d been reading. I shrugged.

"Not sure. I think dad is going to foot the bill for this." My brows were drawn in worry. "I don’t know what he’s thinking."

"Maybe he’s thinking of doing something nice for this kid." He grinned at me with raised brows, and I elbowed him.

"Don’t be an asshole. He wants to do something nice, take Keller out for lunch. But paying a hospital bill?" I looked at him, hoping he’d see my point. Gabe shrugged.

"I’m sure he has his reasons."

Grabbing a magazine of my own, I began to flip through the smooth, worn pages. I needed to find something to get my mind off of this mess. After about ten minutes, I felt the chair next to mine become occupied. I smelled dad’s familiar scent immediately, and turned to him.

"What are we going to do?" I asked him. "Shouldn’t Keller’s parents be taking care of this?" he sighed deeply, then opened the manila folder he’d taken with him from the counter. Pointing to an address, he looked at me.

"I need you to go there and get Parker." The look in his eyes surprised me. It told me not to argue, and that he was deadly serious.

"Who?" I took the folder from him, looking at the address. It was in a horrible part of town, filled with trash and crime.

"Keller’s baby sister. I think Keller will want her here now." He sighed again as he took the magazine from my lap, beginning to find an interesting story to read.

"Hey!" I tried to snatch it back, but got hard blue eyes instead.

"Go get her, Monk." We stared into each others eyes for a moment, and for just a second I saw fear flash though his eyes. It was a daunting second, and I nodded.

"Okay." Standing, I glanced at the address once more, then began to head off. I heard the heavy footfalls of Gabe as he ran after me. I looked at him as he walked in step with me. "Yes?"

"I’m going with."

"Suit yourself."

*  *  *

I slowed the truck as we entered Winter Haven, an area rife with danger, crime and drugs. The houses and buildings we passed were falling apart at the seams. Trash and debris was littered throughout the yards and across the streets. Gutters were near bursting with it and homeless humanity.

"God." Gabe whispered. "What the hell is this place?"

"Where Keller lives." I turned onto High Street, looking for a house with 1128 posted on the front somewhere. The houses that line this street are much like the others, with one slight diamond in the rough. That is to say, the lawn actually exists on purpose, and not just a lucky smattering of weeds and car parts. The house is directly across the street from the one I’m looking for.

Spying 1128, I whistle through my teeth. It’s a small two story, the paint once white, now peeling and flaking on the dead bushes out front. It almost looks as though the house has a dry scalp problem, and the bushes are its shoulders in dark colors. I parked the truck at the curb, noting the silence of the house. There were two windows upstairs at the front that reminded me of eyes, watching, waiting to see what I’d do. I was slightly creeped out.

There was a sagging front porch built up on two and a half foot stilts, broken lattice acting as walls to hide the underneath.

"Wish me luck." I muttered, looking at Gabe, letting him know I wanted him to stay put. I had a bad feeling about this place. Bad vibe, whatever you want to call it. It wasn’t right.

Walking across the dirt that acted as front yard, I made my way to the front door. It was a wooden and mesh screen door, half the screen gone or torn. A peeling blue storm door lay beyond. I cringed at the squeak of the screen door as I opened it to knock, rapping my knuckles lightly against the blue door.

"Go the fuck away!" was yelled from inside, making me start. Right-o. I knocked again, a little harder this time. I had no clue who lay beyond that door, or even what to call him. But, I had a mission and was going to accomplish it. After seeing the state of the place, I wanted to accomplish it even more.

"Did you not hear me?! I said go the fuck away!"

"Hello? Uh, Mr. Mitchum?" I hoped I was right. Heavy footfalls accompanied by vulgar grumbling led to the blue door being swung open. I actually took a step back from surprise, letting the screen door slam shut. Blood-shot blue eyes glared at me. I took in the man who was looking me over like I was tonight’s dinner. His hair was wild and unkempt, bare in places where the balding process had already started to take place. He wore one of those V-neck undershirts that were just thin enough to be able to see protruding nipples and a smattering of chest hair.

A blast of stale smoke, beer, urine and sweat burst through the screen door. Looking past this disgusting man, with the gut hanging over dirty jeans, I saw the house was a mess. The TV was on, and all the blinds, that weren’t ripped, were closed. A broken table lay near it, splintered pieces of wood laying in a pile. There was a single Lay-Z-Boy type chair in the middle of the room, facing the TV, surrounded by crushed beer cans and glass bottles. My guess they had once been filled with various types of alcohol from the smell of things.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asked, nose wrinkled up as though I were the disgusting pig.

"Are you Keller Mitchum’s father?" His eyes narrowed.

"Look, girly, unless you’re here to give me a nice blow job, get the hell off my property." He was about to slam the door when I jumped into action. Pulling the screen door open, I shoved my booted foot between the door and the frame. He looked at me with surprise, which quickly turned to contempt.

"I’m here to get Parker." I growled, getting pissed now. His eyes narrowed to mere slits.

"Over my dead body. That little bitch isn’t going anywhere. Who the fuck are you? What business is my kids to you?"

"Keller was in..." I trailed off, something telling me to keep this to myself. "She’s asked me to bring her little sister to her."

"Get the fuck off my property, bitch!" He began to try and squish my foot with the door. I grunted in pain, but held my ground. I was getting near frantic to get this Parker kid out of there.

"Parker!" I yelled out into the house, hoping she’d hear me.

"She ain’t here. Get the fuck out." I shoved hard, and I heard a crack.

"You don’t want to do that, mister." I heard Gabe’s near growl from behind me, and felt ever grateful. Mr. Mitchum looked over my shoulder at my imposing friend. He said nothing, but stopped shoving the door. I removed my foot, feeling it reflate, I think. I did my best to hide the pain I was in.

"Take your bitch and get out of here." Urine breath said, glaring at Gabe, then leering at me. "Unless she wants to stay."

I rolled my eyes, feeling queasy at the thought.

"Where’s the kid?" Gabe asked. "Tell me or I come in and find her myself."

"She’s not here, fuck face. You deaf, too?" I felt a bit of spittle hit my chin, and wanted to hurl. Then the door was slammed in our faces.

"Fuck!" I turned, ready to leave, when I stopped, wincing. My foot was on fire, and I feared that the bastard had broken it.

"Jesus. Are you okay?" Gabe began to kneel to look at it, but I stopped him.

"We’ve got to get in there somehow." I hobbled my way to the middle of the yard, and looked up. There was no way to get in, and no windows were open. I was studying the two front windows, hoping that the commotion would have gotten Parker’s attention. Even just to see a little face staring down at us-

"What was that?"

I looked at Gabe, then around. I listened, but heard nothing.

"What, could it be the cocking of a shotgun?" he glared at me.

"Not funny. No. It sounded like a hurt animal or something. Like a mewl or something." I studied the houses around us, and looked up into the few trees to see if there was a stuck kitten or something. Then I heard it.

My eyes immediately went to the house. It had come from that direction. Limping closer to the place, I listened closely, trying to hear it again. There it was!

"Hello?" I knelt down, trying to look under the porch. I nearly fell back on my butt in surprise when I saw a pair of blue eyes looking back at me, hidden in shadow.

"Parker?"

Little fingers wrapped themselves around the lattice, like prison bars. I still couldn’t see much of her features, but knew she was there.

"You want to come with me, honey?" I crawled closer, eyeing the front door once in a while, so worried that my joke would actually become a reality. A dark, shadowy head shook violently. "You don’t want to come with me?" again, violent shake. "You don’t want to see Keller?" The head stopped in mid shake, blue eyes boring into me. "She needs you, Parker. I was sent to bring you to her."

Time stood still as we stared at each other, then without a sound, a little curly blonde headed nymph bolted out from under the porch, and ran to me. She stopped just shy of reaching me, almost as if in one last chance to size me up.

The girl was filthy, dressed in what were once blue overalls, a blue and green long-sleeved shirt underneath. An ancient stuffed animal, color unknown, dangled from her left hand. The toy looked like the toy of the mad scientist, Frankenstein. Tiny rows of even stitches raced across t he thing, where it had been fixed and fixed again.

"Want to see your sister?" I asked one more time, making sure we were on the same page. She nodded just as violently as she had shaken her head. Her eyes were almost the same color as Keller’s, that mysterious, beautiful blue, though slightly darker. "Come on."

She walked beside me, though a couple feet away, as we headed toward my truck.

"Hey, cutie." Gabe smiled, starting to kneel so he’d be at her eye level. The girl looked absolutely terrified and stricken. She ran behind me, hiding behind my legs, eyes huge as she studied my friend. "What the hell?" he asked, looking stung.

"I don’t know." I turned and knelt down, looking into that adorable little face. Blue eyes refused to leave Gabe, opened wide and watchful. "Parker, what’s the matter?" her eyes darted to me for just a moment, then immediately went back to Gabe. "Do you know him?" my brows were drawn in concern and confusion. She shook her head no, but still looked horrified. I tried to put it together, but was at a loss.

"I’ll ride in back, Gar," Gabe offered. I looked at him.

"Gabe, there’s not enough room for you back there." I nodded with my head at the small extend to the cab.

"Hey, if Roy can fit, so can I." He grinned, though I could see he was still bothered by the little girl’s rejection. He walked over to it and folded himself inside.

"You ready to go, Parker?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound as light as I could. She nodded, though with less vigor than before. She was a beautiful little girl. I wanted so badly to offer her a bathtub, though. I wondered how long she’d been hiding under that porch.

I opened the passenger side door and helped Parker inside the large truck. She looked stricken again when I began to try and get the seatbelt across her small chest, so I stopped. She fumbled with it, but eventually got it clicked in place herself.

I was literally shaking as I made my way around the truck to the driver’s side. It almost felt like I was in a dream. Everything was so surreal and movie-like. Who knew there were actually people out there like Keller and Parker’s dad? What the hell? And what the hell had happened to Keller? Had he had a hand in any of it?

Recalling the bruises on her face and those that littered her young body, I felt my breath catch. That bruise on her cheek that I had thought resembled a hand print. Was it? Had the hand of her own father made that mark?

Suddenly I felt very small, very young and very naïve. I had seen a lot in my life and had been through a lot, but overall, despite everything, I had been loved and protected. And what of this small child sitting beside me? She was small, but seemed even smaller now. I’d guess her age to be around four or five, but she seemed so much younger in body and older in eyes. Her eyes held not the twinkling joy of a child, but the fear-filled worry of an adult, plagued by trouble and hardship.

I glanced over at Parker often, making sure she was okay. She had yet to speak and I thought that was strange. She had no questions for me, not asking where we were going or why. She seemed to take it as her lot and trusted me to get her to Keller. It seemed that had been the magic word. Tiny hands placed neatly in her overall-covered lap, eyes forward and looking at the road ahead.

The ER entrance came into view and Parker tried to sit up straighter to see what was going on around her. She looked terrified when she heard the loud siren of an ambulance dying down after its arrival.

"It’s okay, Parker." She looked at me, then back out at the world. Gabe got himself out of the truck, then hurried inside to get any news, and so he wouldn’t scare the kid. Parker let me help her out of the truck, but then walked a couple feet away from me as we entered.

"Hey, Parker." Dad smiled when he saw the little girl, and that confused me. I looked at her and saw a brief spark of recognition, but she did not smile.

"You’ve met Parker?" I looked at him. What the hell was going on?

"Sure. Keller has brought her to the hangar before, hasn’t she, Parker?" The little blonde curls bounced as she nodded. "She’s a good girl. Sits in the corner and colors." He gave the little girl a grandfatherly smile and Parker ducked her head. I smiled at that.

"How’s Keller?" I asked, making that little blonde head jerk up.

"The injuries are pretty extensive they said. Got her in surgery now."

"What?!" I walked over to him, little girl forgotten for a moment.

"Internal bleeding. Somebody did a job on that girl." I could see the concern and anger building in the lines of his face.

"Bet I know who, too." I growled, causing him to look at me. "Bastard."

"Monk, not in front of the kid." He nodded toward Parker, who stood stock still, looking around the waiting room.

"What do I do with her? And she’s not a fan of Gabe. Not sure why."

"Don’t know." Dad went back to reading his magazine.

I looked back to the girl, chewing on my lip. "Are you hungry, Parker?" I finally asked. I wasn’t around children much, and didn’t know what the hell to do with one. She looked up at me and nodded. "Okay. What to feed a five year old . . ." I tapped my chin in thought.

"Don’t know. But you might want to catch the little one," he said, not even looking up from his reading.

Looking around, I saw just the small flash of blue overalls pass through the door leading into the ER.

"Shit!" I tried to catch her, but the door closed first, automatically locking. I rattled the knob to no avail. Having no other choice, I knocked. The door opened within minutes, and a nurse, carrying a very upset Parker, opened it.

"Is this what you’re looking for?" She shoved her into my arms, the door closing in my face. It dawned on me that I was being kicked in the legs, and I finally reacted. Putting the girl down, I looked at her, stunned.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She glared up at me, her little face scrunched up. She was not a happy camper. It was then that I noticed the scar on her left cheek, just under her eye. Sighing, I knelt down so I was on her eye level. "Parker, do you want to get something to eat?" She continued to glare, but nodded anyway.

"Okay."

I stood, and we headed down toward the cafeteria. She looked into every single door we passed, and I figured she was looking for Keller. She shied away from just about everyone, especially the male orderlies and doctors. I watched this behavior, and suddenly it dawned on me – Parker was afraid of men.

Gently guiding her toward the line in the cafeteria, I couldn’t help but wonder what the little one had seen. She was so watchful, constantly taking in everything that went on around her, not missing a thing. Not sure what to get her, I let her choose. Big mistake.

I felt horribly guilty as I led us to a table, tray laden with cupcakes, a brownie and orange juice in my hands. My stomach roiled at the thought. Parker was silent as she ate, her eyes always moving, flinching at the slightest bit of noise. Those baby blues would rest on me, then she’d hear a noise to the left, and immediately they’d jump to it. It was also apparent that she was looking for Keller, searching her older sister out in the room.

I stayed quiet too, not knowing what to say to a five year old. I had no idea where this kid would stay, and I certainly didn’t want to take her home. God, just the thought of that place and Keller and Parker’s father made me want to throw up. What the hell kind of person was he? How could he treat his kids so badly? What had Keller done to deserve such a severe beating?

Parker grabbed a cupcake, looking at it, smelled it, then took a huge bite of it, paper and all.

"Oh, honey. Hang on a sec." I reached over to try and help her peel the paper off along the bottom of the treat and the girl looked as though she was about to be smacked. She flinched away from me, bringing her arms up to ward off the blow. A woman glared at me as she walked by, keeping a close eye on the poor, defenseless girl. I felt stunned and stung. Never in a million years would I hurt this little girl.

Swallowing to get my bearings, I put my hands back on the table.

"Parker, you need to peel that paper off. It will make you sick if you eat it." I kept my voice low, never wanting to see her afraid of me again. She looked at the food in her hand and tugged at the paper, seeing that I spoke the truth. Slowly she peeled it off, watching in amazement as the cake of the cupcake stayed in the same ribbed pattern as the paper. She looked fascinated, and I couldn’t help the smile that crept across my lips.

*  *  *

Parker had finally allowed exhaustion to take over. For the past two hours of waiting, she got more and more antsy. I think she was scared that I had yet to bring her sister to her. Like I was lying to her and abducted her or something. She would pace around the waiting area, staying just out of reach of anyone, especially Gabe. She kept a close eye on him. The only man I saw her seem remotely comfortable with was dad. He said that Parker had been to the hangar on a number of occasions. He gave her the sweetest smiles whenever he happened to catch her eye. She just looked at him, but did not run to hide behind the set of chairs near the door.

I had tried to explain to the child that her sister was sleeping and needed her rest, and that we’d be able to see her later. She would stare at me as though I were lying to her, keeping her away from Keller. It was such a strange feeling to be so mistrusted by a five year old that I had met about four hours ago. She looked as though it was her against the world, always looking at everyone like she was waiting for them to make a move on her. It made my heart hurt.

The little blonde had finally collapsed in a chair three down from me, her little body curled up on itself. She laid her head against the wooden arm of the chair. I think her eyes were rallying against her. They would slide closed, but immediately she’d pop them back open, wider than normal as if to make up for the earlier closing. Then her body would wage war upon her again, and she’d nod off. That is until someone made any kind of noise. I had never seen such a light sleeper.

The door to the ER burst open and a man in scrubs came out.

"Keller Mitchum?" He looked around the room, seeing who responded. Like a shot, Parker was awake. I looked at him.

"Over here."

The young doctor walked over to the four of us.

"Keller made it through surgery and has been sleeping for several hours. She’s doing well. I think we got all of the bleeding to stop."

"What’s wrong with the kid?" dad asked.

"She suffered severe trauma to her large intestines, as though she were kicked or hit with a blunt object. Three of her ribs are broken, and she has lacerations covering much of her mid section. Stitches were necessary, as was packing to help with the swelling. Her concussion is much better, though the next twelve hours will be crucial for her. She will get around the clock care." He smiled at us and we all sighed a breath of relief.

"Can we see her?" I asked, then nodded toward Parker. "That’s Keller’s little sister. She’s been antsy all night to make sure she’s okay."

"Only for a short time. Keller is asleep, however, and I don’t want her disturbed." He gave me a look of warning and I nodded, understanding.

"Come on, Parker. Let’s go see Keller." The big blue eyes were suddenly very awake. She hopped off the chair, little legs moving as fast as they could. We were escorted into the bowels of the ER toward a cluster of curtained-off cubicles.

"She’s in recovery, but will be moved to a private room." With a last smile, the doctor walked away. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the curtain aside, allowing an anxious five year old to go in before me. I wasn’t sure what we’d see once inside, but I also wanted to make sure my employee was okay.

The room was quiet, save for the soft beeping and slurping of different machines attached to Keller’s body via IVs and wires. She laid in the center of the bed, sheet pulled up to her gowned waist. Her eyes were closed, the lids very dark. The swelling around the one eye was still prevalent, and I imagined she wouldn’t even be able to open that eye even if she wanted to.

It was amazingly hard to see that young girl like that – the bruises I had gotten a glimpse of earlier now stood out in stark contrast to the white gown they had her dressed in. Angry purple and black bruises covered the left side of her face, disappearing into her hairline. Her lips were swollen and chapped. Several little patches of stitches lined her arm and the side of her chin. There was a bandage attached to the back of her head, covering more stitches, I imagined. Her middle looked thick from the layer of bandages they had around her ribs, and to protect her recent surgery.

My eyes turned to Parker as absolute relief and glee filled her face. She hurried over to the bed, peeking at Keller through the bars at either side. She reached a small hand up through them, wrapping her fingers around Keller’s unmoving hand. The little girl stared at her sister, not seeming to see the bruises and cuts. She looked at Keller with awe and love.

It broke my heart.

I stood back, feeling almost as though I were interrupting a very sacred moment between the sisters, one looking with so much hope, the other unconscious. Parker patted Keller’s hand, watching as her small hand touched the larger, veined surface. Her eyes kept darting up to Keller’s closed face, almost as though she were hoping that with each look, those blue eyes would be looking at her. Just maybe this time.

It never happened.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out through her nose, Parker leaned her face against the coolness of the steel bars, her eyes never leaving Keller’s still form. Somehow seeing her standing there, the picture of Keller, what little I knew of it, seemed complete. Parker, though looking horribly tired, seemed happy and content.

I know we wouldn’t be able to stay long, and I had to get this little one to bed. Somewhere.

"Parker?" My quiet voice was almost shocking in the stillness of the moment. She looked at me, almost surprised to see me there. "Honey, it’s getting late. You need to rest."

She turned away from me, once again giving her attention to her big sister. I tried again.

"Parker? Do you want to go home?" This got a reaction. Her head jerked my way again, total fear filling those eyes. She said nothing, did not respond – only stared. "Are you tired?" She studied me, but slowly she nodded. "Do you want to go home with me? To my house?" Again, she studied me, as if weighing her options. Go home where it smells like urine and is manned by a fat bastard, or go home with this strange chick that I don’t know from Adam. She swallowed, hard, chewing on her bottom lip. Finally a small finger pointed. At me. "You want to come home with me?" She nodded. "Okay."

I pushed away from the wall where I’d taken up residence for the past ten minutes.

"Come on, honey. Keller needs to get her rest. And so do you." What I didn’t tell her was that I was exhausted, too. Parker let out a strange, almost mew, when I touched her shoulder to get her to leave. She held onto Keller’s hand and laid her forehead against the bars. Startled, I let go of her immediately. She looked up at me, and in those ancient eyes I saw so much pain and fear. She looked so haggard and helpless. Not for the first time that night, I wanted to cry for her.

The girl turned back to her sister, then headed toward the door. She kept craning her neck, trying to get one last look at her big sister before finally turning the corner out into the main ER.

Dad and Gabe were waiting anxiously in the waiting room for us.

"She’s sleeping. Battered as all hell." I ran a hand through my hair. Walking over to Gabe, I led him a little ways away from dad and Parker. "I need to ask you a favor." I looked up into dark eyes, hoping he’d see the plea in my eyes.

"Okay . . ."

"Please stay with dad for tonight? Parker’s coming home with me, and she’s terrified of men. That’s why she acted that way with you." We both turned to see Parker staring at the floor, scuffed toe of her shoe tracing the line of the tile. "You can stay on his couch." My old friend sighed, but nodded.

"Alright. Poor kid."

"I know. I have no idea what’s happened to her and Keller. I’m not even sure I want to know. Either way, the kid has got to have somewhere to stay tonight. There’s not a chance in hell I’m taking her back to that shithole."

"Good. Well, guess I’ll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. We still on to get you moved this weekend?" I took a few backwards steps from him, so ready to go home. He nodded. "Kay. See you then." With a salute, I turned and led Parker outside.

*  *  *

The kid had absolutely nothing. Just the clothes on her back, and her jigsaw puzzle of a bear. We made a stop at a discount store to pick some stuff up for her. The store was large, but mainly empty at nearly ten p.m. Parker’s eyes grew to the size of saucers as she took in everything. She looked part terrified, part curious as hell, and part kid in toy land.

I led her to the children’s clothing. Those overalls she had on were so dirty and had been patched so many times. She smelled like whatever the hell had been under that porch. Whatever it was, I think it died.

"Okay, Parker. What do you like?" I looked through a rack of pajamas with the feet in them. "Do you like these?" I pulled out a pair of purple ones. She looked at them, then up at me, wrinkling her nose. Grinning, I put them back and grabbed blue. She was wearing blue, so she must like it. She looked at them, then they were snagged out of my hands, held firmly to her body. I grabbed another pair just to be safe, then headed us over to pants and shirts.

From the look of rapture on Parker’s face, I kept picking things out for her. She greedily grabbed them from my fingers, holding them up to herself or wrinkling her nose. The girl knew what she liked.

Armed with two pairs of pants and five shirts, we headed toward the food part of the store. I had nothing that I could feed her in the morning. This time I picked all the food out, ending up with a cart full of cereal, eggs, breakfast meats, bread and Jell-O.

I could have shopped all night with this girl. In the short time I’d known her, she always looked older than me. But when her eyes lit up with everything I was going to buy her, I felt warm and fuzzy inside.

I swallowed heavily at the total I put on my credit card, but knew this girl was worth it. I had no idea what would happen as of tomorrow, but for tonight, she’d be safe.

*  *  *

Parker sat with her head leaning against the glass of the passenger side window, much as her sister had earlier in the day. She looked so worn out, and I don’t just mean because she was tired.

Slowly I turned my truck into the driveway, the headlights illuminating the two-story, brick house. The chains of the porch chain winked in the light, then were gone again as I turned the engine off.

Groggy, Parker looked at her surroundings, then at me.

"This is where I live." I smiled, opening the door to the truck, then went around to help the little girl out of the large vehicle. I held her hand, as it was dark and I didn’t want her to trip. I could hear my boys barking as we mounted the three stairs that led to the large porch that disappeared around the house.

I felt Parker tense, and looked down as I got the key ready to insert into the door. "Those are my dogs, Parker," I said, trying to calm her. No such luck. She tensed even more and began to hide her body behind my legs. Shit! Dogs, too?

Trying to decide how to handle this, I pushed her behind me totally and opened up the door. Immediately I was trounced by the excited dogs. I yelled for them to stop, trying my damnedest to keep them off Parker. Finally I picked her up, feeling her tiny fingers digging into my shoulder. I set her on the third stair and told her to stay where she was. She did, backing against the wall, huge, terrified eyes looking at the dogs who were trying to sniff her though the railing.

"Come on, boys." I grabbed them both by their collars, leading them outside. I put their bowls of food out there and hurried back inside. Parker was huddled in the corner of the stair, arms wrapped around herself. "Come on, sweetie." I hefted her slight weight up and carried her upstairs. "You ready for bed, Parker?" I smiled at her tired face and droopy eyes. She nodded, bringing her thumb up to her mouth and hooking her index finger over her nose.

Upstairs consisted of three bedrooms, the stairs that led to the attic, and a bathroom. I decided on the room closest to mine for my pint-sized guest. Carrying her in there, I set her down, dropping the shopping bags that had been hooked over my arm as well.

"Okay, you. Lets get you changed." Suddenly sleepy eyes were huge. She hopped up from the bed, backing away from me. "What?" She looked at the door, at me, at the door, then back at me, panicked and about to bolt. My heart was pounding. I had no idea what to do, never knowing that I could scare the shit out of a five year old so badly. I didn’t even know what I had done. I wished that she’d just talk to me, damn it!

Taking a step back and a deep breath, I cleared my head.

"Okay. Do you want to do it yourself?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood with my cheerful voice. She looked up at me, then nodded. Getting somewhere now.

"Okay." I smiled, trying my best to let her know I wasn’t angry with her or anything. She seemed to calm, but only slightly. "I’ll be right out there, okay?" I pointed toward the hall. Parker nodded, a hand reaching out to nervously play with the material of her overalls.

As quickly as propriety would allow, I got out that room. Once the door was closed behind me, I leaned against it. Eyes closed, I took several deep breaths. In the space of a single day, my world had been turned upside down. I had seen things I never hoped to see on a seventeen year old. I had a child in my house who was afraid of everything, and I felt as though I were on egg shells with every step. I didn’t mind the fact that Parker was here, I just had no idea what to do with her, or how to handle her. Do I leave her alone? Become more attentive? I wish I knew what those five year old eyes had seen. Then maybe I could understand.

I heard footsteps on the other side of the door and stepped away from it. It opened just a crack, weary blue eyes peeking out. I smiled at her. "You need to go potty, honey?" She nodded vigorously. Deciding not to take any chances, I led her to the bathroom, again leaving her to do her business.

Hurrying downstairs, I found the old baby gate I used to put at the bottom of the stairs to keep the dogs from running down or up the stairs. Firmly in place, the boys were let in, glaring at me for keeping them out so long.

"Yeah, yeah. Life is hard," I muttered, sitting on the floor with them and giving them so much needed attention. I don’t know who needed it more – me or them. They represented stability and familiarity for a backward day. The toilet flushed above me and I saw that as my cue. "You boys be good." One final kiss to each, I headed upstairs.

Making sure Parker was tucked into bed snugly, wrapped up in a pair of her new, blue footy PJs, I headed toward my own room. Even though the girl still smelled horribly from being under the porch, it was very late, and I’d give her a bath in the morning. She needed her rest. I left the bathroom light on as a nightlight, leaving the door open just a smidge to leave a light trail, were Parker to need the bathroom in the middle of the night.

PART 4

AN ORANGE BIRD flew at full speed. I looked out the side window in my plane, seeing the bird. It almost looked as though it was trying to race with me. Seeing the absurdity of the situation, I turned full throttle, determined to beat the little feathered bugger.

The plane began to make the strangest noises. I looked around, testing the different instruments - nothing was wrong. There it was again, like a strange little moan . . .

My eyes popped open and I listened. Nothing. About to go back to sleep, I heard it again. Realization dawned on me. "Parker . . ."

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I hurried down the hall to her room. The door was open, the dark room within empty. Worried, I turned, about to head downstairs, when I head the sound again. It was like a strangled moan, but very, very quiet.

What the hell?

Heading toward the bathroom, I saw the briefest glimpse of blue. Gently pushing the semi-closed door open, I saw the child huddled on the floor, arms wrapped around her shins. Her cheek rested against her knees, her face hidden by her hair.

"Parker?" I said softly, bending down in front of her. Her head jerked up, and I was stunned to see that her eyes were very red and moist. It looked as though she'd been crying for hours. The child, though only five, looked so much younger right then. I wanted so badly to take her onto my lap and cradle her, tell her that everything would be okay. I wished I believed it. I was so afraid for her and Keller.

Alas, I figured she'd freak out again. I did not want to be anymore a part of the poor child's fear than I already had been.

"Did you get scared, honey?" She nodded, another tear slipping out of an eye, snot gathering around her nose. I grabbed a tissue and wiped her face, letting her blow her nose. "Want to go back to bed?" I tossed the tissue out, saturated with Parker's upset. She nodded. I stood, holding my hand out for her to take. She looked up at me, unfolding herself. I smiled down at her. When I felt her hand in mine, I turned toward her room but stopped when she hesitated. Looking back, I saw blue eyes looking up at me, new tears beginning to rise.

My heart broke. Kneeling down, I looked at her.

"Parker, what is it? Are you afraid in there?" I pointed toward her room. She looked at the open door, a dark maw to eat her up. She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. I brought my thumb up to wipe at the fresh tear. "Want to come with me?" Blonde curls bounced as she took in the other option of my room. She brought her thumb up and began to suck on it, then looked at me. She nodded and I melted. "Come on, big girl." I grabbed her hand again and we settled in the big bed. Parker hugged the edge, her back to me, teddy bear wrapped protectively in her arms. I wanted to curl myself around her to protect her from the world, but dared not. She'd let me know if she wanted my comfort.

*  *  *

Excited that I actually had a learning curve, I left Parker in the bathroom alone to bathe herself. I had put about three inches of water into the huge Roman tub, and headed into her bedroom. I changed her sheets and straightened what little mess was in "her" room, then I got myself dressed. I'd shower at the hangar later.

As I was tying my shoes, Parker stepped into the doorway of my room. I was charmed beyond belief. Her blonde curls, clean and unruly, ran past her shoulders. She wore the new clothes I'd bought her the night before, little jeans with a red and white sweater. She was too cute. She was mostly clean. I noticed where she had missed a spot of soap on the side of her neck, and quickly wiped it off for her.

"Hungry?" I smiled at her, running a hand through my own unruly hair. I'd need a brush later. She nodded and we headed downstairs.

Parker sat at the kitchen table, watching me make us breakfast. I decided that eggs were safe enough and she should be able to handle them just fine.

"Do you like milk, Parker?" I looked at the girl over my shoulder, as I stood in the cold from the open fridge. She nodded. "Have you ever had chocolate milk?" She looked at me as though I had two heads. Grabbing the jug of two percent, I poured a glass for the kid and one for myself. "See, this is what's called Hershey's syrup." I held up the brown container with the silver and brown label. "Good stuff, Maynard."

Giving myself a very liberal amount of chocolate, I put a tad in Parker's. Just enough to give it a chocolaty flavor. Setting the two glasses on the table, the kid looked at hers, brow wrinkled with uncertainty.

"I know it looks like dirty milk, but it's not, I promise you." I sipped my own, grinning like the big kid I was. "Yum!" Parker looked at me, the tiniest bit of a smile twitching the corner of her mouth. She grabbed her glass, looking down into it once more before taking a tentative sip, her eyes on me the entire time. She hesitated only a moment, tasting the drink on her tongue, then she grabbed the glass with both hands, needing the extra support as she guzzled it down. I mean, this girl had the stuff dribbling down the sides of her mouth onto her new shirt.

I grimaced, knowing that I'd be throwing that shirt into the wash, along with everything else the girl had with her. Including that disgusting bear.

Parker set the empty glass aside, gasping for the breath she didn't take as she drank. She looked down at herself, saw the mess on her shirt and her eyes flew wide open. Grinning, I reached across the table with a napkin. She only flinched for a brief moment, then realized I was simply washing her dirty upper lip. I smiled at her, then jumped back, startled, as she flew from her chair.

"Damn it, Roy!" I got up, grabbed the dog by his collar, and led him to join his brother in the living room. They had been banned from the kitchen this morning, but he had managed to sneak back in and sniff Parker's hand. She was terrified, halfway on the table when I got back. "It's okay, honey." I walked over to her. "The dog is gone. He won't hurt you, Parker."

She looked at me, then around me toward the door. She saw that indeed, the doggies were gone, barricaded once more. Slowly she slipped down from the table top and headed back to her seat where she studied the eggs that awaited her. She looked at me once, then went into what I've come to call suck mode. The girl was like a little Hoover!

*  *  *

The hospital was busy, the waiting area in admittance bustling with people walking and being pushed in wheelchairs. The lady at the desk informed me that Keller had been taken to the third floor last night, so Parker and I headed toward the elevators.

My little charge looked around, taking in this new part of the hospital. The stainless steel doors whooshed open and I stepped in, feeling the slight tug on my hand. I looked down to see Parker looking into the car, then up at me. She looked confused.

"This is an elevator, Parker. It will take us to the floor where Keller is." That's all I had to say. Without another moment of hesitation, she followed me inside. Parker was holding her bear to her chest as the elevator slowly rose, ticking off the floors on the digital display over the door. As the car came to a stop, gently jolting our bellies, Parker looked up at me with wide eyes. A slight smile was threatening to quirk up the side, but she kept it in check. The doors dinged open and we headed toward room 317.

A nurse bustled past us, a chart held in her hands. She gave us a brief smile before hurrying on. We entered the room filled with soft beeping. Keller lay on the bed, staring out her open window. Her bruises looked even worse today, having a chance to start healing and showing their true colors. It was really good to see her eyes open.

Parker must have felt the same way, cause she went bounding over to Keller's bed, trying to climb up the metal railing. Swollen, haunted blue eyes turned our way, and the first ever smile I'd ever seen grace Keller's face, did.

"Parker!" she near whispered, relief and reverence filling the breath. She helped the little blonde up to the bed, grimacing slightly as Parker inadvertently hit her incision on her belly. "Careful," she said, her voice quiet. Parker laid next to her big sister, laying her head on Keller's shoulder and wrapping a small arm around her neck. Keller held her close, eyes closing at the contact. She sighed, deep and content.

Those blue eyes opened suddenly, looking right at me. I had shrunk back to the wall, feeling, yet again, as though I were intruding. The ghost of a smile hit those bruised, cracked lips, then faded.

Keller finally got the little imp settled, then looked at me again.

"Thank you," she said, though her voice was very hoarse. I assumed she meant for bringing Parker, so I nodded.

"How do you feel?" I asked, taking a slight step closer to the bed. Keller shrugged, eyes always on me.

"I'll survive. Where did these clothes come from?" she asked, tugging at Parker's shirt.

"I bought them for her. All she had were those overalls."

"You didn't have to do that. I can take care of my sister by myself." For just a moment, a glint of anger passed through those steely blue eyes.

"I know you can, Keller, but you were in here. She needed them, so I got them for her." I rested my hand on the footboard of her bed.

"I'll pay you back." She cuddled Parker closer, protective.

"No you won't. It was nothing." I dared her to challenge me with my eyes. From what I'd seen over the past couple days, I knew there was not a chance in hell that she could do any such thing. Keller said nothing, but I could still see that fire of pride burning hot. It was a clash of wills, and no matter what this girl thought, I was going to help them.

"We'll see," Keller said, her voice low and dangerous.

Our battle was interrupted by a nurse coming in. We all turned to look at her, save for Parker. She was safe in Keller's arms, and nothing else mattered.

"Good. The child's here." She kicked the stopper aside with a white shoe, the door to the room whooshing closed. Keller gently nudged her sister away from her enough to look into her eyes.

"Parker, the nice lady needs to look at you, okay?" Her words were quiet and soft, voice soothing. Parker looked over her shoulder at the dark-skinned nurse, who smiled at her with compassion. Parker looked at her sister again, confusion burning in blue eyes.

I was also confused. I looked to the lady. "What's going on?" The nurse looked to Keller, who nodded, then she looked at me.

"From the report that Ms. Mitchum gave the police last night, we need to check the child for injuries."

"Oh." Stepping back into my earlier corner, I leaned against the wall, arms crossed over my chest, watching. Keller said something else to Parker, so low that neither the nurse or I could hear.

"Okay? For me?" The little blonde nodded at her sister's words and carefully crawled off the bed.

"Come here, honey." The kindly nurse gently took Parker by the shoulders, guiding her to where she needed her to be. There was another knock at the door and a woman peeked her head in.

"Are you ready, Alice?"

"Come in, officer."

The door opened fully, a female police officer stepping in wearing full uniform. She smiled at me, then looked to Parker. She brought up a Polaroid camera, ready for the nurse to begin.

"Ladies, this is Officer Bently with the WPD. She'll be recording this for evidence," the nurse explained.

"Evidence?" I was baffled.

"Yes. Ms. Mitchum has decided to press charges, and we'll need this for the investigation." She placed a hand gently on Parker's shoulder. I noticed the girl flinch slightly, but otherwise make no movements. Settling in for the interim, I watched as nurse Kravitz knelt down to her knees with a slight groan, joints popping in fifty year old knees. "Ready, honey?" she asked Parker kindly. The little girl just looked at her with wide eyes. "Officer?" She glanced at Bently, who nodded.

I held my breath, for some reason feeling as though there was to be a great revelation. I was nervous, and my body felt like it was waiting on pins and needles. Nurse Kravitz gently grabbed the hem of Parker's red and white sweater, advising the child to put her arms up. At Keller's request, she did. The sweater came off, revealing a turquoise shirt beneath. I smiled at the mismatch of colors in the girl's wardrobe.

My eyes went to the bed, where I saw Keller look away, her eyes closing tightly, then I heard someone suck in a breath. My gaze went back to Parker and the nurse, who was raising the thin cotton shirt. With every inch, more and more old, and some new, bruises were being revealed. There were scabs from what looked to be scratches that littered her chest. The skin of her side was marred with old burns, essentially circular and about the size of a small button. It took a few seconds before I realized they were probably from cigarettes.

Parts of Parker's side and just under her clavicle were pasty yellow from old bruises trying to heal, a few new ones inflicted over them. The bruises seemed to take an abrupt halt just under her shoulders, as if the wielder knew he was less likely to get caught the lower they stayed.

"Turn around, honey." Nurse Kravitz's voice was very soft. I could tell she was having a hard time keeping it together. The police officer clicked a few pictures, kneeling down to get closer, the flash blinding for a moment with each shot. Parker turned around, her back to me now, and my hand went to my mouth, tears instantly welling in my eyes.

On the girl's back, near the waistband of her underwear, was an old scar. It was a scar in the shape of letters: AM.

Unable to handle it anymore, I excused myself, hurrying past the police officer, and out the door. I was frantic to find a restroom, needing to relieve my roiling stomach. Finally, I saw the universal sign for the women's restroom and slammed through the door, scaring an old woman half to death as she left. I didn't care.

Finding the first empty stall, I hurried in and fell to the floor, my breakfast leaving my body with an unceremonious plop into the toilet. After retching several times, I sat on the cool tile of the bathroom floor, head against the stall wall, eyes closed. I kept seeing those letters carved into that baby's back over and over again. And as old as the scar looked, and misshapen from Parker's growing body, I figured it had to have been done a long time ago.

What the hell kind of monster did they live with? AM. Al Mitchum.

"Jesus."

*  *  *

Parker wanted to stay with Keller, so I headed out of the hospital, in need of some serious fresh air. By the time I'd returned to Keller's room, the officer and nurse had finished and were gone. Parker was dressed again, snuggled in next to her sister.

Now I stood just outside the main entrance, pacing back and forth, letting the cool, late September air fill my lungs. A couple doctors came out and lit up. I had no interest in company, so I shoved my hands into my pockets and walked around the large brick building. People hurried to and from the parking lot, some nodding at me as they passed, others unaware of my presence. I ran a hand through my short hair, trying to fight the images in my mind.

I couldn't help but see that baby held down by her father, knife in his hand. Parker crying from fear, then from pain as he proceeded to carve his fucking initials in the tender skin of her lower back.

The faint sting of tears began behind my eyes again as I stepped into the wind, turning my back to it. I leaned my shoulder against the cold brick, my head dropping as those tears finally formed and fell. Shoulders shaking with every heave, I finally felt the weight of the situation hit home. I also understood why Parker was as squeamish as she was and terrified of everything. I understood what I had to do; I was going to protect those girls with whatever I had, and I knew dad would back me up.

The horrors those girls had lived through in such a short time in their lives. The things they'd seen and felt. I had seen the smattering of bruises and injuries on Keller's skin. Her injuries were extensive enough that they'd required surgery, for Christ's sake! What kind of person could do that? What kind of father could do that to his kids?! I had no idea if it was in fact Al Mitchum, but I'd bet my bottom dollar it was. The way he had treated me and Gabe that day, total, complete, utter strangers. What would he do to two kids that piss him off? Get in his way?

The tears were coming faster and faster, no matter how I tried to stop them. Finally I gave it up and let them come. Sliding down the brick, I squatted, my face in my hands as I sobbed. I could never imagine seeing something like what I had just seen in real life. On TV, maybe, but not like this. This had walked into my hangar, and into my life.

With a resolve of steel, I calmed myself down, wiping my face of any evidence of my breakdown. I didn't want to cause Keller and Parker any more embarrassment than they already had. I pulled my jacket closer around my body and headed back inside.

*  *  *

The perfect hush of the room was only broken when I realized that Keller and Parker weren't sleeping at all. The little girl with the bouncy curls had her back to the door, a protective arm holding her slight body. Keller was nose to nose with the girl, speaking in hushed tones.

I found a chair and sat down. It was at that moment that I saw Keller peek her head up. She was pinning me to the spot with a not-so-happy gaze. Apparently I was interrupting. She turned back to Parker, who was making strange little hand movements. It almost looked like a mixture of sign language and something of her own creation. I concentrated on that, trying to figure out what she was saying. Keller seemed to understand her perfectly. She grinned and nodded, either whispering something back or signing.

I cleared my throat, and again, Keller looked at me.

"Is there anything you need, Keller? Can I get Parker anything? Is she hungry?" Blue eyes turned back to her sister and another private conversation ensued. Parker signed something, then waited as Keller whispered something to her. Without another word, spoken or signed, Parker got herself up, mindful of Keller's injured body, and climbed down from the bed. She walked over to me, looking at me with expectant blue eyes. Talk to me, kid! Tell me what you want.

"What does she want?" I asked Keller, though my eyes remained on Parker.

"Ask her," said the groggy voice from the bed. My eye glanced briefly at Keller, then back on the kid.

"What do you want, Parker? Are you hungry?" Golden curls bounced as she nodded. I stood, taking her hand in mine. We walked out of the room, Parker glancing over her shoulder every couple steps, again trying to get as long a look at her sister as possible.

Finally getting to the elevators, Parker still looked slightly unsure of things, but began to look around, curiosity taking over her uncertainty. She ran her hand down the smooth, stainless steel wall, looking up into the grid light, then at the panel of buttons. Her eyes then drifted up to the digital floor display above the door before turning to look at me. I smiled at her and she just hugged her bear closer, looking at the tile at our feet.

We stopped at the second floor, a group of doctors getting in. One smiled down at Parker and ruffled her hair, then turned back to his companions. Parker looked terrified! She was closed in this tiny space with a bunch of men. I could feel tiny fingers digging into my leg as she hid between me and the wall. I reached down until my hand made contact with that same hair and rested there. She seemed to calm a bit, but I couldn't wait until we hit the first floor. Those little fingers were strong and the nails sharp!

Finally, thankfully, the doors dinged open, and the doctors made their way out, leaving the two of us to exit last. I took a deep sigh of relief and headed us toward the cafeteria.

"Okay, what do you like, little one?" I asked the little blonde squirt, who could barely see into the clear display cases. "Do you like turkey?" She looked up at me, a small pink tongue slipping out to be caught between two lips. I took that as a yes. Grabbing one for her, I snagged a tuna sandwich for myself. I scooted our tray down the railed tray run, stopping to grab a bowl of fruit for both of us, and a bag of chips to share.

We scooted our way down to the drink station. A bored looking girl with a plastic cap to cover her hair looked at us from behind the counter. She was waiting to fill empty glasses with soda, coffee or iced tea. In the case, in ice, were containers of milk, juice, lemonade and Kool-Aid.

"What do you want to drink, little one?" I looked down at the girl who had her bottom lip captured between white, even teeth. "Here." I picked her up, propping the kid up on my hip, and pointed out the different drinks. She chewed on a finger as she looked at all the choices. Reaching out, her hand lingered on a blue and white milk carton, but she looked so unsure. Blue eyes darted between that and Kool-Aid. I think the brightly-colored drink had caught her eye.

Biting my own lip, I felt a bit of indulgence grab me. Turning the kid's eye toward the brown and white cartons that sat in ice next to the regular milk, I leaned down to speak next to her ear.

"Hey, Parker, see that? That's chocolate milk." I poked one of the cold, brown and white cartons. Her eyes widened, and that tongue peeked out again. Grinning, I grabbed three of the cartons.

I watched with immense interest as Parker took her entire sandwich apart. She looked at the different layers on it - lettuce, tomato and cheese. She would try one, biting on it like a little rabbit with a carrot, then shove the entire thing in her mouth. I was amused and charmed beyond belief.

Parker had finished mutilating her sandwich, and ate most of it, though in pieces. She'd eat some bread, then pop some sliced turkey into her waiting mouth, followed by a juicy tomato slice. I was baffled by her antics, but the kid was eating. That was all that mattered.

The chocolate milk seemed to be saved for last. I helped her open the stubborn carton, then Parker took a huge swig from it. This time, though, it did not run down the sides of her mouth. She seemed to be aware enough to not waste it. I was glad for this. I didn't want to have to wash her clothing every few hours.

Parker put the carton down, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She looked up at me, eyes bright, but face stern. She looked a lot like Keller in that moment. All strong, stubborn and stoic.

The kid gently closed the flaps of her chocolate milk carton, though I knew it was still nearly half full. I didn't ask, but gathered all our trash. Balling up the cellophane that had been wrapped around our sandwiches, I spied the trash can not ten feet away. Looking at Parker, who was watching me, I got an idea.

Grabbing her around the waist, I handed her the cellophane.

"Throw it in, kiddo." Hefting her up, she shot and made it. "Yay! Two points for Parker!" Putting her down, I saw another ghost of a smile. It made my heart melt.

*  *  *

The elevator ride was interesting. I noticed that at each stop, Parker had figured out that if she jumped right as the car lurched, she'd get that crazy little butterfly flapping its wings in her tummy.

I totally bypassed the third floor and hit nine instead. Parker looked at me curiously, but then that itty bitty smile returned as we hit another gravity-defying moment. She jumped, and so did I. Her eyes got big and round, and she jumped again. The next floor we hit, I picked her up so she could get even more of that weightless feeling. Once back on the tiled floor, she looked up at me, and I saw the barest hint of white teeth.

Again, my heart melted. We strolled toward Keller's room, which was dark and quiet. The curtains had been pulled, and Keller seemed to be asleep. I could feel Parker straining at the bit next to me, wanting to fly over to her sister. I knelt down, bringing my finger to my mouth, then put my hands together near my cheek to show Keller was sleeping. Parker nodded, ever so wise in those five-year old eyes. I picked the girl up and placed her on the bed next to her sister. Parker immediately curled up next to her, head resting on Keller's shoulder.

Blue eyes opened and Keller looked at me. I gave her a smile that was not returned.

"I'll give you two some time. I'll go for a walk or something." She nodded. "Be back later."

*  *  *

Knowing that the nurse had my cell phone number, I felt safe in leaving Parker in the very capable hands of her big sister. I drove the truck to the hangar, needing badly to talk to dad. It was kind of strange being in the truck alone. The last three trips in this rig had either been with Keller or Parker.

The large, metal building came into view, and I watched as planes from the nearby airport took off overhead, their engines nearly deafening as they passed. I couldn't keep the smile off my face if I tried. This was my life. My normal, familiar, I-know-everything-about-it life.

I was finally able to sigh in contentment after feeling so inadequate and awkward for the past forty-eight hours.

Strolling into the front office, I got my cup and filled it with old, strong brew.

"Do you never make new coffee?" I asked Penny, grimacing at the tar taste. She flipped me the finger as she talked on the phone and I grinned. Ah, to be back.

Pouring tons of cream to make the taste manageable, I headed toward the office.

"Hey, Monk," Jerome said, smiling as he passed me.

"Howdy, big guy. Where's the grump?"

"Which one?"

We both laughed, and I saw dad sitting behind the desk through the office window. "Hey, pop." I plopped down in the chair across the desk from him. He barely looked up to acknowledge me, toothpick dancing between his lips.

"How's the kid?" he chicken-pecked the keyboard, looking through our flight schedule for the next month.

"Keller or Parker?" I asked, reaching over the desk to snag a power bar out of the top drawer. He shooed me away, and I sat down with an evil grin.

"Yes," he muttered.

"Well, I just saw them both, in fact I left Parker with Keller. She looks like shit. Those bruises are so dark, but they're starting to get that strange, pee-colored tint to them, you know?" He nodded, still not looking at me. "I think she's going to be okay, though. The doctor said her incision was looking good and the healing process was going well. He also said that he wanted to keep her there for the rest of the week."

This got dad's attention. "A week, huh?" I nodded.

"Dad, what were you thinking offering to pay her hospital bills?" I leaned forward in my seat, power bar forgotten as I tossed it to the desktop. Dad sat back in his chair, sighing as he brought his calloused fingers up, pinching the mauled toothpick between them. He studied me for a moment, blue eyes squinting slightly. I didn't back down, only returned his gaze just as frankly.

"That kid doesn't have a thing, Monk. She's got that kid sister of hers, and that's it. No money, no support, hell, barely clothes or food." He sat forward, hands resting on the desk. "They need us, and I'm going to do what it takes to help them." He was almost looking at me pleadingly. He'd do what he wanted to do, but Davies' Hangar was mine, too, so it had to be a joint decision.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "This is going to be thousands of dollars. Probably hundreds of thousands."

"I know."

"How the hell do you expect us to afford that, dad?" I was worried, but decided to not panic just yet. I knew dad was right, but still, bank accounts don't lie. We were doing well with the business, but not that well.

"Those cops were here earlier, too." Dad eyed me, though I could tell he was slightly nervous.

"Okay," I drawled, that crazy butterfly leaving Parker's tummy for my own.

"I've taken custody of Parker until Keller turns eighteen in a few weeks."

I was struck by the generosity of my father. I knew he was an amazing man, but this was unreal. A slow smile spread across my face.

"God, that's so awesome of you." My grin was full now. "But dad, you don't have the room for her." My brows drew.

"Well, that's why she'll be staying with you."

The smile slid off my face.

*  *  *

"What the hell!?" I followed him through the hangar, anger and worry brewing inside of me. "Why did you do that, dad? I don't know a damn thing about five year olds!"

"Why not? You were one once," he tossed over his shoulder. He was headed toward the copter.

"Dad, I cannot take care of this kid. She needs someone who's been there, done that. Someone who can care for her and not scare the shit out of her!" I almost ran square into my father as he stopped abruptly, turning toward me. He looked angry.

"That's why I chose you, Garrison. You got a good heart in that stubborn chest of yours. That kid already feels comfortable around you. Can you imagine her alone with me?" He thumbed himself in the chest. "She'd be terrified!"

"But you said she knows you-"

"She does. But it ain't the same as a woman. You didn't take her out of that shit hole she was in so she could be even more afraid with me." The veins in his leathery neck were standing on end. All activity in the hangar had stopped, everyone watching us fight on the tarmac. Not that that was terribly unusual.

"Dad, I've never had kids before. I don't have any nieces or nephews to try this shit on. I don't know what to do!"

"That's the role every parent takes, Monk. You think an instruction book falls out of the sky with all the answers to your parenting needs?" He held his arms up in exasperation. "You learn as you go."

"I'm not her parent, dad." I lowered my voice, my anger giving way to my fear.

"I know that, kid." He put his hand on my shoulder. "But you're all that she's got until Keller gets better." With that, he turned and climbed into the helicopter, leaving me to stand there, feeling like the floor had just fallen out from under me.

"Shit." Then a thought occurred to me as he began to lift off. "What about work?" I yelled up.

"Congratulations! You just got a vacation!" he yelled back, then was gone. All I could do was scream out my frustration. Reggie and Jerome hid. Smart boys.

*  *  *

The hospital seemed unusually busy as I walked its corridors, headed to Keller's room. I hated hospitals. When mom was sick, I had to take her to her appointments in these very walls. Lois Greene had been mom's doctor. Nice woman, though unable to do a damn thing for her.

I sighed, shoving my hands into my pockets. What the hell was I going to do with a five year old for a whole week? And not just any five year old, but one that's afraid of everything and everyone, including me! I knew what dad said had made sense, but still.

As I entered the room that was quickly becoming familiar, I saw an adorable picture. Keller was of course on her back, but Parker was curled up on her side, head resting on her big sister's shoulder. Keller's head rested against the golden curls and both were sleeping. Breathing deep and even, I almost left again. Instead, knowing that visiting hours would be over very soon, I sat in the chair by the wall that I had claimed as my own.

I saw the protective arm Keller had around her sister, and the total differences between their states of relaxation. Parker's body was completely limp, relaxed and comfortable. Keller looked tense and taut, even in sleep. Kind of like a tightly coiled spring that would jump out at anytime. Like even in sleep she was watching and aware.

To prove my point, blue eyes were suddenly looking at me. I gave her a smile, which was not returned. I stifled a grin when I saw the tell tale chocolate milk mustache that colored the corner of Keller's mouth.

"Hi. I didn't mean to wake you," I said, my voice hushed so as not to wake Parker. Keller said nothing. "Visiting hours will be over soon. I figured Parker is probably pretty wiped out, and I know you can't keep her here with you."

Keller just stared at me for a moment, taking me all in, sizing me up. I felt like I was being slowly devoured and then spit back out. Very unsettling. She turned to Parker, gently nudging her and whispering something to her. The groggy five year old woke, sleepy eyes blinking rapidly while looking around.

"Listen, Keller, my father and I have talked, and-"

"Parker is staying with you until I get out of here," my janitor interrupted me. I nodded, watching her face carefully. This girl was like a snake - one false move, and she'd nail you with those amazingly intense blue eyes. Disconcerting. "She's my sister," Keller said needlessly, her voice, though low, was sharp and possessive.

"I know that, Keller. She will always be your sister, and your responsibility." I felt bad for this helpless girl. It was obvious we had some jealousy going on here. She was probably the only one who ever took care of Parker, and now felt her territory was being trampled.

The little blonde climbed down from the bed and walked over to me. She looked dead on her feet. Taking her by her small hand, I bid Keller a good night, and headed home.

*  *  *

Parker was snugly asleep in my bed, and it was late. I waited until she passed out, then got up. The boys danced excitedly around me as I headed toward the bags of stuff I'd picked up on the way home. Knowing they were not getting the attention they needed, I let them crawl all over me on the floor, petting and cooing to them.

"Did you boys miss me, huh?" I ran my fingers over Tut's soft ears, velvety to the touch. He looked up at me, big, brown eyes round and alert. "I missed you, too, little man." I cupped his head and placed a loud smacker on top of it, then one on Roy's.

Getting up, I brushed doggy fur off my flannel shorts and t-shirt, then again reached for the plastic bags. My dogs naturally think they're the center of the universe and waited not-so-patiently for what they figured I bought them. I hated being so predictable.

"Go get it, boys!" I tossed out two rawhide bones, which they scrambled to get into their greedy little mouths. It kept them busy while I set about doing what needed to be done. Small piles began to form on the kitchen table - those plastic things that plugged into electrical outlets, a new baby gate, those clippies that make it near impossible for adults, let alone children, to get into cabinets.

I hurried to put the two gallons of milk in the fridge, followed by the huge jug of Hershey's syrup that was put in the cabinet. The few other groceries were put away, then I decided to tackle the plastic outlet plugs.

I heard the key in the lock moments before the door opened and dad walked in. I glared at him.

"Knock."

He muttered something in response, then hung his jacket and hat up on the coat tree near the door. I turned my attention back to kneeling in front of the plug-in by the stairs and wrestled the tight plastic into the slits. Dad was standing behind me.

"What are you doing?" He grabbed another such plug from the table, bringing it up to his eyes, then turning them on to me. I looked at him over my shoulder.

"Baby proofing," I answered, as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

"You're what?" My father's laughter rubbed me the wrong way. I stood, glaring at him from under too long bangs.

"What is so damn funny, Frank?" Hands on hips, I waited for an answer.

"Monk, Parker is five years old, not months." He showed me the plug in his hand. "The kid doesn't need these." He tossed it back to the table.

"I don't know what a kid needs, dad." I plopped down on the first stair, sighing in defeat. I felt stupid. He groaned as he sat next to me, the stair creaking slightly from both our weights.

"You'll do fine, Monk. She needs you to care and protect her. And feed her plenty of licorice. The red kind." He winked and I laughed.

"Healthy diet."

"Yeah, but she loves it. Is she in bed?" He looked around, Tut and Roy already asleep at his feet.

"Of course! It's past midnight. Where else would she be?" I looked totally indignant.

"See that? Mighty fine start already." He grinned and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Fucked up situation, dad."

"That it is, kiddo." He sighed, and I could feel the sadness rolling off him in waves. Looking at his profile, my brows drew.

"What is it?" He ran a large hand through the graying hair, flattened by the hat he always wore, except in the house. That was rude, you know.

"I should have known better," he said, almost as though he were talking to himself. I could see the muscles in his jaw working, numerous wrinkles appearing on his forehead as his eyes narrowed in thought. I was confused, but knew he'd talk when he was ready.

It took awhile, and it was killing me not to prod. He ran his hand through his hair over and over again, a comforting gesture.

"I knew something was up. I remember the day Keller first came in to apply for that job." He finally looked at me, his eyes troubled. "Those eyes. Just something about them. Empty. Like they've never seen the light of day or something. I can't put my finger on it exactly . . ."

"Haunted."

Dad looked at me for a long moment, then nodded. "Yeah. Haunted. I should have done something then, Garrison. I knew something just wasn't right. When I saw her bruises, hell, I don't know what I thought. But I had a feeling in my gut, and I didn't listen to it."

"Dad, there is absolutely no reason for any of us to beat ourselves up over this. Hell, I hadn't even seen the poor girl until a month ago!" I threw my hands up to emphasize my point. "There are so many what ifs in a situation like this. You can't win them all, and Keller is fine."

"But at what cost?" He looked into my eyes, and I saw the sadness and regret there. "In that hospital lies a seventeen year old kid." He pointed toward the door. "Alone. She doesn't have a damn soul to go see her, to care about her. That son of a bitch was booked, the cops told me."

"Al Mitchum?"

"Damn straight, Al Mitchum. Keller is pressing charges. But even if he hadn't, do you think he'da come to see his kid? Shit, he put her there! What the hell kind of man could do that?"

"Dad, quiet down. You're going to wake up Parker." I looked over my shoulder up the stairs behind us to make sure that wasn't the case. Dad took a deep breath as he got his emotions under control.

"Them two kids, I'll do anything, Monk. I won't let them down again."

"Dad," I breathed, closing my eyes at the love that suddenly soared through me. "You're not their appointed protector, but we'll do what we have to, okay?" Opening my eyes, I looked into his pained ones. He nodded.

"I knew I could count on you."

*  *  *

Parker followed me around like a little shadow. It had somehow become a silent understanding - I could have the dogs in the house as long as Parker could stay within two feet of me. Roy was dying, wanting to know why he couldn't smell and play with the new little person. Tut just glared, angry that there was someone else to take any attention from his perfect beagle self.

Today it was time to do laundry, as the kid had already soiled every single piece of clothing I bought her that first night with a variety of food stains. I really think that I could have taken all food remnants off the fabric and had a picnic.

Standing in front of the washer, waiting for it to fill with water to mix with the Tide with bleach, I grabbed Parker's overalls, the ones she had been wearing when I picked her up at her house. They, like her teddy bear, were a patchwork of stitches and patches. Some were crudely sewn, as if in a hurry, while others had been skillfully, lovingly done. I had no doubt Keller had done them all. Probably some before Parker had to go to kindergarten, thus the harried ones.

Kindergarten. Everything had happened on a Thursday, and I didn't get Parker until Friday afternoon, so I hadn't had to deal with Parker's school.

I had gotten her up and dressed, ready for a new day. We drove to Franklin-Stevens Elementary School near the post office. Parker looked okay, obviously comfortable with the brick building, crawling with other kids her age and older. I held her hand up the long, cement walk, flanked by autumn yellow grass, and the occasional flower bed.

Here's the funny thing - since Parker had come to stay with me, all four days of it, I had become very fond of the kid and even more protective. My eyes scanned all around us. I don't know, guess I was worried that Al Mitchum would come sneaking out of the bushes or something. Stupid, I know, but my mother always swore I had a maternal side to me somewhere.

The school looked as it had when I'd attended many, many years ago. Somehow, though, it seemed much smaller. Interesting. I found the office with relative ease, part from memory, part from following the helpful little signs posted every few feet. They really must take these kids to be idiots or something.

A secretary sat behind the long, tall desk. I remembered having to get up on my tippy toes to see over it when I was really little. Hell, who am I kidding? I'm still really little. Anyway, back to the story at hand. She had a headset on for the phone and was talking to someone about an attendance problem. The woman's pinned red hair shone under the fluorescent lights overhead, her entirely over-plucked eyebrows rising with her voice volume.

"He needs to be in class, Mrs. Allen. These are very impressionable years on young Donald's school habits." She waited but a moment before jumping in again. "No, Mrs. Allen. His doctor did not send a note, and nor did you. And the same to you." The red head clicked off her call, jaw pulsing as she frantically typed something into her computer, then her sharp, green eyes flicked up to me. She briefly glanced down at what could be seen of Parker, which consisted of the top of her head and part of her eyebrows.

"Hello," I looked the name plate in front of her, "Mrs. Schneider. My name is Garrison Davies and I've got Parker Mitchum here." I put my hand on the kid's shoulder. "Can I possibly talk to Mr. Hoff?"

"Regarding? And where is Keller?" Green eyes scanned the cramped office for the tall brunette.

"In the hospital."

"Oh my word." She covered her mouth with her hand and nodded. "Let me get him." She got up, quickly tugging her skirt into place, then scurried off to get the principal who was there when I attended FSE.

"Garrison? Grease Monkey Davies."

I turned, and an immediate smile filled my face. He looked the exact same, save for more gray hair, and less of it. His dark skin looked smooth and fairly wrinkle free. The gray in his hair and extra added padding around the stomach area were the only visible stages of aging eleven years since I'd been there last.

"Hello, Mr. Hoff. It's nice to see you." I smiled at him, taking his extended hand. He looked down at my charge, who returned the look with wide eyes. "You know Parker." He nodded. "Can we go into your office and talk?"

"Certainly. Fran, hold my calls," he said to the redhead, then led the way to the principal's office. "What's up?" he asked once he got settled. I sat in a chair in front of his desk, Parker standing next to me, refusing to sit on my lap.

"Well, Parker's sister, Keller, is in the hospital. These two are no longer in the home." I looked into his dark eyes, wondering what he was aware of. He sat back in the vinyl-covered chair, propping his chin up on a palm.

"Really?" From the suddenly quiet, and very serious tone of his voice, I figured he had an inclination of what had been going on. "What happened to Keller?"

"Well, I really don't think it's my place to say, sir, but needless to say, her father is in jail as we speak." I felt a small hand rest on my arm, which made me smile.

"Good. It's about time."

"Keller works for my father and I down at the hangar, and dad has taken custody of Parker here until Keller turns eighteen in a couple weeks. I wanted to let you know so that I'd be allowed to pick Parker up from school and such."

"Okay. How's that old flyboy doing, anyway? I saw him on that program on TV the other night." The principal smiled big, teeth almost blindingly white. My smile matched with pride.

"He's doing well. We're real proud of him."

"I bet. I was so sorry to hear about your mom, Garrison. We all really miss her spunk in the PTA."

"Yeah. We miss her spunk, too." My smile turned sad. "Well." Standing, I took Parker's hand in my own. "This one needs to get to class."

"Indeed she does." He smiled with kindness at my little charge.

"Run along, Parker." I gave her a smile and handed her the lunch bag I'd been carrying. She took it, then scurried from the office. Turning back to Mr. Hoff, I shook my head. "This kid thing has been interesting."

*  *  *

So, meanwhile in the laundry room, I looked at those overalls, wondering what color they had started out. I could tell that they had been washed, but it almost reminded me of what clothing washed on a washboard with lye soap must have looked like after awhile. The colors had all but faded into a nondescript, dull blue. Any patterns or cute little characters had long since faded away. The little metal clasps were also dull, the once very round edges now nicked and tarnished, much like the owner.

I tossed the garment into the now-filled washer, followed by Parker's ratty old teddy bear. Maybe I'd get her a new one. She had begun sleeping with me every night, hugging the edge of the bed no matter how much I tried to cajole her to be comfortable. Last night she had surprised me when I felt a little hand come to rest on my arm. I had stayed on my back nearly the entire night just so I wouldn't move and scare her away. Oh, does my back hurt today!

Washer purring along, it was time to start cleaning. It was so hard to get anything done with the kid in the house. Now that she was in school again for the week, I had all afternoon to do whatever I needed to do - including bugging the boys down at the hangar. I'd pick Parker up at two in the afternoon, and off to the hospital we'd go. This was the only time I really saw any sort of a smile on her face. I was glad to see that smile.

One afternoon found me sitting with dad on the back porch of the house, the dogs playing in the yard before us. Dad chewed on a toothpick and I sucked down a cup of coffee. It was a warmer cold day, and I was glad for the short reprieve.

"So how's things with the kid?" he asked, throwing Roy's ball for the zillionth time. The big black lab, Saint Bernard mix bounded after it.

"It's going pretty well, actually. She seems to be settling in pretty good. I don't mind, either. You know, having her here?" I glanced over at him and he nodded.

"That's good."

"Dad, I've been thinking."

"Uh oh." I shouldered him and he grinned.

"I'm going to ask Keller to stay once she gets out."

Dad's blue eyes looked at me, studying me for a moment. I think he was trying to see how serious I was. I met his gaze, non-flinching. "I think that's a real good idea, kid."

"At least until she can get on her feet. They can't exactly go back to that shit hole they called a home." I stretched my legs out in front of me, crossing my booted feet at the ankles.

"Nope. Probably a crime scene now," he said, tossing the saliva-covered ball yet again.

"Don't you ever get tired of that?" I asked with amusement. He shook his head.

"Nah. Love my grandsons." He winked at me, then took the end of the rope that Tut offered him. Dad played tug of war with the beagle, replete with growls.

"Think she'll go for it?" I watched, wondering if the dog would win.

"She might. She just might."

*  *  *

My stomach was filled with butterflies, and it wasn't from the seven extra floors we jumped in the elevator, either. Parker held on tightly to my hand as we made our way down the now very familiar hall of Keller's floor. The staff knew us pretty well by now, always saying hello and giving Parker sweet smiles.

Keller's room was dark, as always. The shade was always pulled halfway down, her blue eyes trained on the remaining part of the window. Today was no exception. She glanced our way when she heard the pitter patter of Parker's feet running across the highly polished tile. The kid jumped onto Keller's bed, wrapping her grateful arms around her big sister's neck.

The janitor smiled, nuzzling her sister's nose with her own.

"How are you today, Keller?" I sat in my chair, crossing my ankle over a knee.

"Alright," she said, her voice low and emotionless. She was getting out the next morning.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." I leaned forward in my chair and she looked at me, only looking half interested. "As I'm sure you're aware, you break out of here tomorrow afternoon." I swallowed. For some reason, this kid made me slightly nervous. "What were your plans when you got out?"

"Go home," she said simply.

"Where's that?"

She looked at me like I was an idiot. "Where you picked Parker up."

"Keller, that place is a rat hole. It's practically falling down. Besides, police have it roped off as a crime scene. You can't go back. At least, not yet."

"A rat hole?" Her voice was tinged with anger and disbelief, as though she were stunned that I'd say anything negative about her house, no matter how disgusting it was. She snorted. "How dare you say anything about how and where I live."

"Keller, it's not livable. I saw inside that place when I talked to your dad. There's barely anything inside, and what is, is either broken or smells like pee." The brunette narrowed her eyes and covered Parker's ears.

"Fuck you! How dare you judge me? Or where I live? That's been my home for seventeen years. Not all of us have been blessed with whatever palace you grew up in. And as for what we'll do? I don't need your help. I'll find a fucking apartment." She released her sister's ears, receiving a strange look from the little blonde.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I wanted to growl. "Okay, hang on a sec. I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't trying to judge you. It's not your fault what's happened. All I want to do is help."

"We don't need your help. And what does it matter whose fault it is? Does placing blame mean that my house will look more like yours? Does placing blame mean that my life will be more like yours? Does it mean Al would somehow turn into Frank? Get real." She turned to her sister, burying her nose in the thick, fragrant hair. Parker had found her teddy bear to be most fascinating. Since I'd washed it, and found out that the bear was actually blue, she was amazed. It was almost as if she'd gotten a brand new huggy toy. The kid wasn't listening to a word we said.

"Keller, don't be a fool. You don't have the money to get an apartment. It's not cheap to start a place. And yeah, I may have been lucky in who I got for parents, but don't think my life has been perfect, either. Look, this isn't a pissing contest." I stared at her, willing her to look at me. She refused. "Regardless of what you may think you need, think about Parker, what she needs."

Keller shook her head. "You play dirty." Her voice was soft. "Considering your dad has custody of my sister until I'm eighteen, I'd say this is all kind of moot, don't you think?" She finally looked at me. "You have two weeks before I turn eighteen. Then we're gone." That was it, she turned her focus back to Parker, and I had been effectively dismissed.

"Two weeks." I tasted the words on my tongue. "How about a month? That way you can save more money." She snorted.

"This is not a negotiation. You don't need to worry about my finances. I do. Two weeks." It was final.

Of all the ungrateful, foulmouthed, annoying teenagers! I screamed inside my own head. This little shit was going to piss me off, and piss me off good. It was only because of Parker that I didn't tell her to fuck off and figure it out on her own. Instead I took yet another breath.

"Fine. Two weeks." With that, I got up to give the sisters their alone time.

PART 5

BROOM IN HAND, I walked across the hangar, past my baby and dad’s helicopter, and stopped at the pile of dirt that had been gathered already by me. How the hell does this place get so damn dirty? I glared knowingly at my two mechanics as they fought over who got to clean the windshield of the C-130 Hercules. The big plane hadn’t gone out in a little while. The rising price of gas and fewer large cargo runs kept her grounded.

Jerome realized that he was being glared at, so looked at me.

"What?" he said, Reggie following his gaze.

"You two!" I pointed the end of the broom at them. "Suck. You were raised in a barn, methinks. Jerome, how the hell did Annie put up with your messy ass?" I indicated the pile of grunge behind me. He gave me a sheepish grin, then turned back to his arguing partner.

Sighing, I glanced outside the huge, open doors. The clouds were gathering and I figured we’d have a pretty good snow by that night. With Parker in school and out of my care for the moment, I filled in for Keller. Fingering the oddly-placed screw hole in the smooth broomstick, I began sweeping again.

We had all been taking turns doing the janitorial work around here. I, for one, didn’t think it was fair for Keller to have to try and make up a month or more of shit when she got back. No matter how much of a shit she herself was. The nerve of that girl! Dad had told me to boil it all down to her simply being scared. Shit, if that was her scared, then what the hell was she like fully confident?

Scooping the dirt up in a large dust pan, I dumped it into the metal garbage can just outside the bay doors, then headed to clean the bathrooms. I contemplated donning a full contamination suit for that mess. Maybe Keller should get a raise.

I did, however put on the elbow-length rubber gloves. A Susie homemaker I am not, but I wasn’t stupid, either. Entering into the realms of Davies Hangar hell meant cleaning that bathroom that mostly men used. Penny refused, insisting on holding it until she left for lunch. Oftentimes I was stuck in the hangar until the next day, so I had no choice. Plus, to me it was part of my home, so I got used to the smell. But this was more than just the smell and knowing what parts of the floor near the toilet to avoid or chance getting yellow soles. Were guys not taught how to aim properly? How can they throw footballs a hundred yards to land in another guy’s arms, but not make it into the toilet that is no more than like two and a half feet away?

"Hey, Monk."

I turned to see Gabe walking toward me. I smiled.

"Hey, buddy. How did the move go over the weekend? Sorry I couldn’t help out. There was no way I was leaving Parker alone." He followed me into the bathroom, leaning against the open door.

"No problem. Frank and Reggie helped."

"Oh good." I glanced over my shoulder at him before filling my bucket with hot, Lysol-filled water. "Did you guys watch dad’s documentary that Jerome taped?" My friend’s dark head nodded.

"It was pretty awesome to see Frank all excited about his flying days." Gabe smiled, dimples winking at me. "He looked great in those old photos, too."

"I know. Handsome devil, huh? No wonder mom fell hook, line and sinker."

"Yeah well, your mom was quite the looker, too." He walked over to my nearly filled bucket, dipping a sponge in and beginning to clean around the sink. "Do you ever wonder what your mom looked like? Or your dad?"

"Oh yeah, all the time. With only a first name, I have nothing else to go on. Debra and James." I shrugged. "Sometimes I would picture her in my head when I was a kid. You know, lay in bed, thinking of her, wondering what she was doing." I smiled at the memory.

"Why not try and find her?" He re-dipped his sponge, wringing it out before going back for a second pass over the grease-covered faucet.

"Nah. I used to think I would, but I had a great mother. I don’t need Debra whatever her name is. She didn’t want me, so why should I want her?" I glanced at him. "You know?" I mostly meant what I was saying. Sometimes I’d still feel pangs of wondering and sadness. Why hadn’t she wanted me? I wanted to think that there was a good reason – that she couldn’t, or was sick or something. I had been granted the best parents anyone could ever want, but still. That doesn’t soothe a hurt child’s ego too well.

"I’m glad you feel that way. I would have killed to have your parents." He headed over to the shower stall with his newly-dipped sponge.

"Yeah. Well, they certainly claimed you, so I think you did pretty good."

"Guess so."

I got on my hands and knees, squirting some Clorox toilet cleaner into the big bowl to let it sit while I scrubbed at the floor around it.

"Okay, I have to ask, Gabe."

"What?"

"How the hell do you guys miss so damn bad?" I grimaced as my sponge came back yellow, rinsing it in the sink before dipping it back into the cooling Lysol water. He grinned and shrugged.

"I honestly don’t know. Guess not paying attention."

"Disgusting."

He chuckled. "So how’s Keller doing? Is she coming home soon?"

"Today. In fact, when I get done with this stuff, I have to pick her up." I tried to hold my breath as I scrubbed behind the toilet.

"Where will she and that kid go?"

"With me."

"With you?" He stopped cleaning and looked at me. "Really?"

"Yeah. They don’t have anywhere else to go. There’s not a fucking chance I’m letting them go back to that shit hole."

"True. Man, what an asshole that guy was."

"That guy was their father!" I could feel my anger building again. "That son of a bitch carved his fucking initials in Parker’s back, Gabe." I looked at him, green fire shooting from my eyes. He looked stunned.

"What?"

"Yep." I began to scrub harder, seeing the white of the tile coming through. Only a frigging week since Keller had been gone, and the place was already disgusting. How had we ever gone without a janitor? "Five fucking years old, and already scarred for life. I hate that bastard. I’ll tell you something right now," I pointed my sponge at my friend, "If I ever see that son of a bitch around here, or anywhere for that matter, I’ll fucking scalp him. Guaranteed."

"I bet you would."

"Thanks for your help, bud. I really appreciate it. However," I stood, wiping at my nose with the back of my gloved hand, "If I catch you missing this great big bowl with that itty bitty stream of piss, I’ll personally kick your ass and turn that little Italian pecker of yours into the sausage it looks like. Pass the word on to the other boys, too." He just looked at me, wide-eyed. Can’t imagine why.

*  *  *

I pulled the truck up to the main entrance of the hospital where patients could be picked up. I already saw Keller just inside the tinted glass doors. She was sitting in the wheelchair, dressed in the pair of sweatpants I had dropped off on my way to work this morning.

The automatic doors whooshed opened and Keller looked up at me. She looked tired, dark circles under her blue eyes. Her hair hung around her face in limp strands, thin and needing a wash. Her face was pale, eyes looking huge in the near skeletal frame. Her hands gripped the arm of the chair, veins popping out in the backs with the grip she had.

I smiled as I walked in. She only stared.

"Hi, Keller." She nodded the acknowledgement of my presence. "You ready to go?" She nodded again. I glared at the nurse who stood behind the chair, a death grip on the handles of the thing. "I’ll take over now, thank you." Without a word, I began to push her out into the cold afternoon.

"I can walk," Keller said, taking her feet from the footrests.

"I realize that," I said, pushing her a little faster so she wouldn’t try anything stupid. "But it protects the hospital’s insurance policy to keep patients seated until their final resting place outside the hospital doors." I was well versed in this, having fought my mother every time we brought her home from this place.

Keller sighed but said nothing. I had no doubt she was tired as hell of being cooped up. My janitor stood as soon as she could, the nurse hurrying behind me to collect the wheelchair and truck it back inside. I opened the door to my truck and Keller climbed in. I had the feeling that my helping her in the day I found her on the side of the road was the last time I’d be helping her do anything.

She got herself in and buckled up. I got in the other side and started up the truck. "The doctor told me yesterday that you were to be kept still and in bed. Your room is all made up for you, so you’re good to go." She said nothing. "Parker and I are going to go shopping for some clothes for you when I pick her up from school."

"I don’t need your clothes or your charity." Her voice was low and monotone. Not this shit again.

"Too bad, Keller. You need clothes, unless you plan to walk around naked." I pulled out of the hospital parking lot and we were on our way to my house. The drive was silent, save for my singing along with the radio. I would glance over at my passenger once in a great while, but she was always looking out the side window, her hands in her lap, body totally closed off for conversation. Even so, suddenly her voice, though low, filled the cab.

"I’ll pay."

"What?" I was confused.

"I said I’ll pay. If you insist on buying me clothes, I’m going to pay for them."

"No you’re not."

I was surprised by the amount of venom in those blue eyes when she looked over at me. "Do not attempt to tell me what I will or will not do." We stared at each for a moment as I stopped at a red light. "I pay my debts."

"Fine. But not with money." She studied me for a moment, eyes drifting over my shirt and jeans, then back up to my face.

"What kind of payment did you have in mind?" Was that fear I detected? She seemed to shrink slightly toward the door. I stared at her, my mouth starting to work, but failing me. Clearing my throat, I pushed on the gas again, getting us moving.

"Extra around the house or the hangar. Maybe I can get the boys to teach you a little something about the planes. We can always use another mechanic." The look of fear turned to wonder.

"You’d let me touch the planes?"

"Sure. Why not?" She said nothing for a few minutes.

"And what about Parker? I’ll pay her way, too."

"She can do stuff around the house, too. She already helps me with laundry." I smiled at the memory of her attempting to carry the big laundry basket. "Plus, she can do other things. Gather trash around the house. Whatever." I shrugged, not intending to make either of them do anything extra for some measly clothing and two weeks food and board. It seemed ridiculous.

"Fine." Keller turned back toward the window.

"Fine," I echoed.

*  *  *

"Hey, kid!" I smiled as Parker stepped out of the double doors to the school. She looked up at me, and that itty bitty ghost of a smile crept across her lips. "Guess what?" I said, taking her small, pink backpack from her grasp. She released it, holding her blue teddy with both arms now. "Keller is back home at my house." The kid looked up at me, golden curls bouncing with the movement. I could almost hear her say, really!!?? "So I was thinking, you and me would go to the store and you can pick out some clothes for her to wear. What do you think?" She nodded vigorously and we headed toward the truck.

TJ Maxx was a busy place on a Friday afternoon. People came and went, children yelling to their parent, who was inevitably across the store. I held Parker’s hand snugly in my own, her big eyes taking in all the ruckus around us. For her credit, she was doing much better. I could tell people still scared her, but she seemed to handle herself much better, not freaking out anymore. I still intended to ask Keller why she didn’t talk, though.

"Okay, little one. What is Keller’s favorite color?" Our eyes met, and Parker chewed on her bottom lip as she thought. Within moments she was leading me by the hand to a rack. There were shirts hanging on it of every style and color. She pointed to a black one. Big surprise. "Keller likes black?" Parker nodded.

"Okay."

Holding the shirt up, I looked to see that it was size medium. I chewed on my own lip as I tried to picture Keller’s frame. She was terribly thin, but tall. I bet if she filled out, she’d wear a medium. Even with her height, her skeletal structure still looked as though she wasn’t exactly a big girl. Probably meant to be lean. I tossed the long-sleeved button up into the cart, then turned back to my own private shopper.

"What else, Parker?" She continued to pick out clothing that was of darker shades – black, gray, dark blues and reds. Some of the actual garments she chose were hideous, but I at least had an idea of color. Moving us on, I found sweatshirts, t-shirts, long-sleeved t-shirts and even and black and dark gray sweater. There was a sale, so the prices were excellent. I just hoped everything would fit.

By the lion’s share of two hours, I had enough clothing for Keller to make about ten outfits, including socks, underwear and a couple bras. I really hoped I had those sizes right. About to walk out, I saw a pair of black and white Vans that I figured would fit her. Grabbing them and putting them in my cart, off to the registers we went.

The entire trip home Parker was beside herself with excitement. I’m sure the thought of having her big sister, who she seemed to adore, under the same roof day and night was thrilling beyond all compare for her.

We pulled into the driveway, and almost before the engine was turned off, Parker was struggling with her seatbelt, trying to get out of the truck.

"Hang on, Parker. Take these." I handed her two of the lighter bags, keeping the heavier ones for myself. The kid was careful to avoid the puddles from the earlier rain, then looked at me from the porch, waiting not-to-patiently for me to get the right key in hand. Trying to juggle the bags I carried, and my keys, was a real feat.

The dogs were on full alert behind the door, and Parker already was getting herself ready for it. We had it down now – I’d go in first and she’d keep herself flat against the wall, walking along it until she could escape to some other room while I got the dogs under control. It drove them nuts. All they wanted was to finally be able to say a proper hello to our houseguest. Keller had only handled them minimally better. She was not afraid of them, but hadn’t really looked like she knew what to do with them, either. She’d patted Roy’s head a few times, the big black dog demanding attention. That was all he got from her.

"Come on, kiddo." I took the bags from Parker once the boys were happily munching in the kitchen. She nearly bowled me over on the stairs, trying to get to her sister. I just hoped Keller was up there.

A smile graced my lips when I heard Keller’s excited greeting. I figured she was being pounced on by a five-year-old fireball. Once Keller and I had reached the house, I had shown her briefly around, and though she looked where I pointed, she seemed completely uninterested. I’m sure in her mind, what the house looked like didn’t matter since they’d be out of here in two weeks anyway.

I’d shown her the bedroom upstairs that I had originally put Parker in, which had been used for exactly three hours, then abandoned. My janitor seemed to approve, so we got her settled in. That didn’t take long, as she had nothing with her. All of her clothes the day I brought her into the hospital had been ruined by the thrown-up blood, then cut to shreds in the ER.

The sweats I had brought her hung on her thin frame, but at least were clean and warm. She had quickly climbed into bed, and though I don’t think she knows I saw, totally collapsed. The girl must be so exhausted – from her ordeal and her life. I hope she got some rest.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I saw that Parker was already on the bed, signing wildly in her strange little way. Keller was ‘listening’ intently to what the kid had to say, and threw in her own comments. I had to remember to ask why Parker doesn’t talk.

I gave the girls some time for privacy, so I took a quick shower, then decided to check on the patient. Standing in the doorway of the smallish room, I watched as Keller lovingly stroked Parker’s golden curls, both pairs of eyes hooded with contentment.

"Hi," I said, crossing my arms over my chest, leaning against the door frame. Parker simply nuzzled her face further into Keller’s neck, but very aware blue eyes gazed at me. She said nothing. "How did you sleep?" She shrugged the shoulder that wasn’t holding up Parker’s head.

"Okay."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Are you hungry?" My voice was soft, doing my best to stop the antagonizing that always seemed to sweep one, if not both, of our voices. If they were going to be staying with me, I might as well be nice. She looked at me, and I figured she was trying to decide whether to take my ‘charity’ or not. Finally she nodded, though her eyes drifted to the window. "What do you like?"

"Food."

Swallow one, swallow two. "I realize that, Keller. Is there anything you don’t like? Can’t eat? Won’t eat?" Suddenly I realized what Keller and Parker’s purpose was in my life – to challenge my patience. Dad always told me I needed more.

Again those eyes were on me. "I don’t know."

"Okay." This was no help. "How about hamburgers?" I figured this was a safe enough food. Besides, Parker’s head shot up, hopeful eyes looking at me. I smiled at her. She looked like a rabid dog.

"Fine," Keller said.

"Be right up. You two stay here." I hurried from the room, that cute little look on Parker’s face still fresh in my mind. I was growing fond of that kid. The stairs squeaked as I hurried down them. The boys wagged their tails happily at me as I passed them, rubbing each head as I went. "Hiya, boys," I cooed, two pairs of happy brown eyes looking up at me.

The meat was stuck into the microwave to unthaw, so I began chopping up veggies for the burgers and dug out my breakfast tray. That hadn’t been used in so long. Not since Celeste had come here to see me. I had made her favorite for her – waffles. I smiled at the memory, thinking I really needed to make a pit stop in New York. I needed to get me some lovin’.

My eyes roamed to the ceiling, knowing that my houseguests were somewhere overhead. It was very strange having more than just me in the house again. I had grown up in this house, knowing just what true joy and happiness could be for a kid. The house was always filled with laughter and happy voices. My childhood was not perfect by any stretch, as everyone has their problems, but I dare say it was better than most. My parents did their damndest to make sure I was happy and felt loved.

Once in a while I felt the niggling feeling of ultimate rejection. When a mother gives her child away, it stays with you the rest of your life. That feeling of abandonment never truly goes away, no matter how much the adoptive parents try to take it away. I respected mine for what they had done and loved them for loving me.

This brought my thoughts to Keller and Parker. What must they be feeling right now? Knowing that their own flesh and blood father had treated them like this? Had rejected them in a more heinous way than my own biological father had? He had kept them, but only to act as his personal punching bags. What had drove him to do such a thing? Had his own father done it to him? Where was their mother? She had never been mentioned by Keller, nor had the cops ever referred to her. I had so many questions.

The hamburger patties I made sizzled on the griddle as I stood watch with my spatula-holding hand resting on my hip. The dogs had finally calmed down, and were laying in various parts of the downstairs. Tut rested on the rug under the table. I could feel his eyes on me, hoping against hope that I’d drop some meat for him. Dream on, big guy.

I made some with cheese, some without, loading all the patties onto Kaiser rolls. I even cut one in half so Parker could get her small mouth around it. Tray loaded with food, condiments and veggies, I headed upstairs. I’d grab drinks once my offerings were dropped off.

Keller was murmuring softly to a rapt Parker when I entered. She had been smiling softly at the small blonde, her eyes filled with love and adoration. All this stopped the moment my presence was felt, and her face returned to its normal solid, stoic countenance.

"Dinner," I called happily, ignoring the slight sting of being left out. I set the tray on the table next to Keller’s bed, Parker’s eyes having followed its progress from door to table. "You two get started. I’m going to grab us all something to drink." With those words, I hurried out the door, pounding the stairs nearly two at a time. Filling glasses with milk and grape juice, I hurried back upstairs, doing my best to not slosh liquid everywhere.

To my utmost surprise, in the five or so minutes I’d been gone, Keller had a half-eaten hamburger sitting in front of her. Jesus, had she gone into suck mode?! Making no mention of it, I sat at the end of the bed, grabbing my own dinner.

Keller kept her eyes on me the entire time, wary and suspicious. Parker sat in her lap, happily munching on a bit of tomato, juices dribbling down her chin. Without even looking, Keller brought her hand up and wiped the mess clean. The kid didn’t miss a beat, shoving more burger into her waiting mouth.

Keller, however, had nearly stopped eating. I looked at her, my own sandwich halfway to my mouth.

"Why did you stop?" I asked. She just looked at me. "Please eat, Keller. Your body needs the strength."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" I popped a French fry into my mouth, doused with ketchup.

"This." She indicated the room around us and the food she had yet to touch since I’d sat down.

"I’ll answer your question if you answer mine." I met her accusatory gaze, mine unwavering. I had questions, damn it. She said nothing. "Can Parker talk?"

"If she wants to."

"Why doesn’t she?"

"She doesn’t want to," she said simply, as though it made so much sense.

"How long has she been silent?" I dipped another fry into my ketchup/mayonnaise concoction.

"About a year." I could tell by the sound of her voice that this question/answer period was just about over.

"I’m doing this because I can, and because you need it," I said softly. She refused to meet my eyes now, instead focusing on helping Parker and nibbling her own dinner. "What else would you like to know?"

"Am I going to be fired?" For the first time in the very short time I’d known her, she looked halfway vulnerable, though was making a valiant effort to hide it.

"No! Of course not. Why would you?" I was stunned.

"Because I’ve missed work."

"Through no fault of your own, Keller. You didn’t choose this for you,." I indicated the bruises that still littered her body. "Dad and I are going to do everything we can to keep you on. Okay?" She didn’t answer really. Just a very small nod, which I nearly missed. "Well," I put my empty plate aside and stood, "I’ve got something to show you."

Grabbing the bags from TJ Maxx, I headed back to the sisters. Parker’s eyes lit up again as she jumped from the bed.

"Want to help?" She looked up at me and did nothing, but I could see she wanted to. I knelt down and opened up a bag. "Here." I gave her a shirt. "Hold that up, okay?" She nodded and unfolded it, holding it out. I grinned as her small body was dwarfed by its size. She turned and showed Keller. "Your sister has quite the fashion sense," I said as I stood, a couple garments in my own hands. Parker gladly showed each and every one of them to her big sister.

"Nice job, Parker," Keller said, flashing a tiny smile at her sister. I, apparently, had disappeared from view. Saying nothing, I kept feeding clothing to the kid and watching as she showed Keller up close and personal. Keller looked each garment over, turning it this way and that, holding it up to herself to make sure it would fit. Eventually I left the room.

*  *  *

I sat in the leather chair behind the desk in the office downstairs. My head back against the headrest, hands dangling off the arms, I was slowly turning it around in a circle. My eyes were closed, and I smiled at the blind motion going straight to my stomach. I loved that feeling.

With a sigh I remembered that I’d have to head to the pharmacy before they closed. The blunt trauma that Keller had sustained to her mid-section had broken three ribs, one of those having punctured her spleen. The doctors had removed the ruined organ and now she had to take some serious antibiotics. In the hospital they had been pumping her with them intravenously. I was also instructed to get her some medicine for yeast infections. The doc said that if she didn’t have one now, she most likely would from the high dosage.

Standing, I yelled my intention up to the sisters, and with my keys and wallet in hand, left.

I had to wait fifteen minutes for the pharmacy guys to fill the prescription, so I decided to wander around the discount store, walking down each aisle to see its wares. Already feeling my bank account being drained by the cost of the drugs, I was doing my damndest to not be seduced by anything. Okay, so intentions are good, but I am a shopper. A true shopper knows a deal when a true shopper sees one.

Just ahead on a display was a Barbie set, replete with a Ken doll, Barbie and little sis, Skipper. The whole shebang was under twenty dollars, so I grabbed one. Picking up the pink box, I saw that each doll came with two sets of clothing as well as cell phones for Ken and Barbie. A blue bear-hugging five year old came to mind. Tossing the box into my basket, I proceeded down the toy aisle. I wondered what Keller would be interested in. I couldn’t possibly imagine. She seemed so old, not knowing what a smile was, nor fun for that matter. What were seventeen year olds interested in?

This was not a good question, though. Neither Keller nor myself had been or were typical seventeen year olds. The only thing that could hold my interest then was a pair of wings. I had just wanted to fly and soar, my head in the clouds. What about Keller?

Sighing, I fingered a few things, puzzles, hand-held games and even a coloring book. Nothing seemed to fit.

Barbie, Ken and Skipper in hand, I paid for Keller’s medicine, nearly crying at the two-hundred-seven-dollar price tag, and headed home. The house was basically dark by time I got there. The late afternoon had gotten away from me in the hour or so I’d been gone. I saw a lone light on upstairs and nothing else. I wondered what they were doing. Were they curled up together on the bed again? Was Keller talking to her baby sister, making her smile as only she could? Was Keller perhaps planning for my own destruction?

I chuckled at this last thought. Probably. That girl just really didn’t seem to like me. I’m sure much of it was that she was scared out of her mind. How could she not be? The life it seemed she had led, and now this. She was being thrust into the care of a stranger when probably no one had cared for her before, and the girl had pride in abundance.

Making my way past excited dogs, I went to the kitchen where I unloaded my burden. Setting the plastic bag down on the kitchen table, the receipt beside it, I began to take things out. The pink box I set aside, excited to give it to the five year old. The bag holding Keller’s bottled drugs rattled, and I tossed it back into the empty plastic one and grabbed the box of Monistat 7. Toys, meds and glass of water in hand, I headed back up the squeaky stairs.

The girls were talking again. Well, the girl was, and the other was listening.

"Hey, guys," I announced as I entered, so as not to surprise or frighten them. Parker looked over her shoulder at me, but Keller just turned to look out the window. "Okay Keller, you’ve got some nice horse pills here." I walked over to the bed, holding the pink and white box behind my back. I set the massive pill on the bedside table, next to the lamp, as well as the water. "You need to take them twice a day. It’s a little late today, so today you’ll only be taking one." She nodded, but said nothing. "And, um, well . . ." I set the package of Monistat 7 on the side table, too. "This is incaseyouhaveanyitchingorburning." I couldn’t look at her, embarrassed for her and for myself for having to say it. Turning to Parker, who watched curiously, I grinned.

The girl had moved to sit on the edge of the bed, watching my every move. I knelt down in front of her, bringing my hand out. She looked at the box, then at me, unsure. A small hand came up and she began to chew on her finger.

"This is for you, kiddo. Have you ever had a Barbie before?" She stared at the box again, the three dolls smiling up at her, then slowly shook her head. Big eyes looked up at me, getting bigger with every moment of realization that the gift was hers. Her brows nearly disappeared into blonde bangs, and her blue eyes twinkled. For a moment, just a moment, she looked up at me, and a huge, full, beautiful smile lit up her face. Two small, even white rows of teeth flashed at me, then were gone. My heart melted – again.

Tiny hands wrapped themselves around the box, and the kid brought it in for a closer inspection. My smile was a mile wide at being able to make the little one happy. I let my gaze travel over Parker’s head to Keller. She was looking down at the little girl with a very strange look on her face. It was almost like stunned confusion, her shoulder slightly slumped. She looked utterly defeated. Sensing she was being looked at, stormy blue eyes looked up at me, then quickly looked away.

My melted heart ran into my stomach, making me feel sick. Shit. Maybe I should have gotten her something.

*  *  *

The hangar was abuzz with activity and loud voices. We had a huge shipment that had to go out, and dad was getting the Hercules ready for the trip. I walked across the tarmac, Tut and Roy with me, glad to be back to a semi-regular schedule, tails wagging like mad at the familiar surroundings.

Off to the west was dad’s helicopter, polished to a shine, and a group of men standing around it, talking quietly to each other, checking out all the Bell had to offer.

"Who are they?" I asked Reggie, who was picking at a particularly dark grease spot on his palm. He looked up, then shrugged.

"Not sure."

"Where’s Jerome?" I asked, watching with amusement as my boys attacked the mechanic, desperate for affection. My house guests still weren’t extraordinarily fond of them.

"In there." He pointed toward the bay door with his thumb, his other hand firmly ensconced in the thick, black hair of Roy’s neck. I jogged toward the hangar, needing badly to talk with the older man.

"Hiya, Jer," I said, smiling fondly at him. He was settled on the hard, cement floor, sorting through some tools. His dark eyes glanced up at me, and a soft smile entered them.

"Howdy Monk. How goes it?"

"Eh, not bad." I squatted next to him, wondering how the hell he was planning to get back up. His knees popped like firecrackers anytime he did just about anything. He got shot in the right one during Korea, and then cracked the left knee cap while in Vietnam on a bad jump.

"How’s our little mommy doing?" Shove. Jerome was still laughing, even as he lay on his side on the floor where I’d pushed him over. Feeling guilty, I helped him up, but not without a glare or four.

"I am not a ‘little mommy,’ thank you."

"Sure you are. You took them girls in. Real good of you, Monk." He looked serious and earnest. I smiled, looking down, feeling bashful.

"Nah. Just the way it is. Besides, I think I’m being punished for something."

"Why’s that? The five year old taking run of the house?"

"Ha! I wish that were the problem. Try the seventeen year old hates me and the world. She hates everything but that sister of hers. Oh," I smiled, soft and wistful. "You should see those two together. It’s so cute. They have this secret little language, cause you know the kid doesn’t talk for whatever reason." Jerome listened, smiling at the image. "Keller is so protective of that kid. It’s really kind of cool."

"Well, sounds like they’re all the other’s got. It’s good they’re together. How long are they staying with you?"

"Two weeks."

"Two weeks? Then what?" Jerome began to stand and I helped him, grimacing at the grunts and cracks from him and his body.

"Then Keller will be eighteen, and she thinks she can take care of her and Parker." I shrugged, not wanting it to bother me. "Whatever, you know?"

He nodded. "Yup. The young always think they know best." He grabbed up the tools he was looking for, putting them on the roll cart in the order he needed them. It always reminded me of a surgeon.

"Jerome, I have a question for you."

"Okay." He looked at me expectantly.

"How old is Cameron now?"

"Hmm . . ." He scratched his chin, trying to think of his eldest granddaughter. "I’d say eighteen this year. Why?"

"Well, as I told you, Keller will be eighteen in a couple weeks, and I haven’t the slightest clue as to what a girl that age is into. What do you recommend? What is Cameron into?"

"Boys." He grinned, dark eyes twinkling. I smacked him on the arm lightly.

"Yeah, somehow I don’t think Keller is into that just now. Really."

"Okay, okay. Let me ask her dad and I’ll get back to you, okay?"

"Kay." I smiled up at him and headed into the business office for my morning cup of tar.

*  *  *

Parker ran in ahead of me, as was her custom, hugging the wall so the dogs couldn’t get her. We’d made some progress yesterday afternoon. I held Tut, my thirteen inch Beagle, and knelt next to the kid. She looked at the dog, studying the big, open brown eyes and floppy brown and black ears. Tentatively, very tentatively, she reached out a small hand and touched the top of Tut’s head. The dog tried to lick her fingers, but that sent her wide-eyed to the wall.

"It’s okay, Parker. He only wants to give you doggy kisses." To prove my point, I let the dog lick my cheek. This made her look a little less frightened, but still not enough to come back over to us. Instead, she plowed up the stairs to see her sister.

As she did today. I placed her pink backpack onto the coat tree hook by the door, as well as my jacket. Stopping, I took a deep breath. Lemon? Pine Sol? Looking around, the dogs following me, I noted that the kitchen was spotless, the breakfast dishes gone, the counter clean and the toaster put away.

Either I’d been robbed by the dish thief, or someone had cleaned. Walking further into the house, including my office, I could see where the floors shined, the various throw rugs had fresh vacuum marks, and the smell of furniture polish met my nose.

"Keller?" I walked up the stairs, looking into the girl’s bedroom. Parker now slept with Keller instead of me. The janitor laid in the bed, covers up to her waist, Parker sitting at her side, Barbie and Ken already in hand. She looked at me. "Did you get up today?" She just stared at me, though as I looked into her face, it looked as though she were holding her breath, biting the inside of her cheek. "Are you okay?" She nodded vigorously, but still said nothing. Eyeing her for a moment, I left them alone.

I headed back downstairs to my office to get some ‘me’ time. It had been so long since I’d had anyone else in this house for longer than a weekend. I had lived alone for the better part of three years, either in this house, or in the itty bitty apartment I’d had before mom died. Living alone was something I was used to and enjoyed. I was totally the type of person who needed personal space and time to chill and relax. In many respects, it was nice having Keller in the house. Parker, though extremely self-reliant for a five year old, still needed attention and supervision. She needed help brushing her teeth and getting food. Keller insisted on helping her sister in the morning before school. I tried to give her some latitude, but knew she needed to stay in bed for at least the rest of the week. She had to be exceptionally sore from her surgery and the broken ribs.

The doctor had recommended ice be held to it during the day off and on. I always left her with an icepack, and hoped she used it. The bruising and swelling in her face had improved over the week and a half since the beating. Her eye was fully open now, though she still sported the evidence of a very nice shiner. The coloration was starting to turn that wonderful yellow color, some bruises fading all together.

I wished I knew what would make her happy, and what would make her trust me. I had no evil plot or intentions. I just wanted to help her and Parker. Was that so bad?

Sitting in the chair behind the desk, I looked at the model planes that surrounded me, either on shelves or on the desk itself. Some of these I had put together, while others dad had. His prized B-52 Bomber was encased in glass on the shelf next to the globe. He had so lovingly put that mammoth together, taking weeks. Every detail was there, every bit of paint and equipment. I smiled at the memory of laying on the floor at nine watching him. He wouldn’t allow me to touch it, but that was okay. I could watch.

The shelves were lined with not only the models, but books. Dozens and dozens of books. They ranged from the romance novels mom used to love to read, to the classics of my childhood. Also, on their very own shelf, were books and technical guides on planes – flying and fixing them. These books were old, dad’s from his Korea days and before that. He had been collecting them for the better part of fifty years. Like me, he had known even as a boy what he wanted to do with his life.

So many memories in such a small space.

Flicking on the computer, I went to the kitchen for something to eat while it booted up. Parker was sitting at the top of the stairs, dolls in hand. She had Ken and Barbie in both hands, and the dolls interacted. I watched for just a moment, a soft smile on my face. It was nice to see her acting like a kid. As I made my way to the swinging door of the kitchen, I heard soft banging from the top of the stairs and just shook my head. Kids and the way they played.

*  *  *

The seasons were officially in full swing, fall all around us, showing all her beautiful colors of the East. Truly an amazing time, and my favorite. Even if it did require me to rake more leaves than any tree had the right to produce and toss away.

The large backyard was covered in the little colorful buggers, and it was time to clean up. I didn’t want them to rot on the lawn, so I changed into an old, faded pair of jeans and a gray flannel button up. Tucking a few wisps of hair back behind my ears, I dug the rake out of the shed dad had built. The space was small and dark, smelling of cut grass and gasoline as the lawn mower had been kept in there for twenty years, as well as spare gas cans.

When I turned to head back out into the day, I swallowed a yell of surprise, putting my hand to my beating chest. Parker stood just outside the door, looking at me with curious eyes.

"Hey, kid, you scared me." I stepped out, sliding the door shut behind me. "Are you okay?" She nodded slowly, her eyes taking in the tool in my hand. "Want to help?" She stared at the rake again, but then finally nodded. Again, not a large one, and one I had to carefully look for, but it was there all the same.

Grabbing the roll of black yard bags I’d stuffed in my back pocket, I handed them to the little blonde.

"Okay." I knelt down next to her, showing her how to rip a bag from the others at the perforated edge. She took the bag I offered her. "Hold onto that until I say, okay?" Again Parker nodded, watching as I stood, heading toward my seemingly insurmountable task.

Parker watched with avid attention as I reached and drew the leaves in, forming large piles around the yard, trees continuing to drop more here and there. The kid watched with barely hidden fascination as a large, bright red leaf fell to her feet. She picked it up, twirling it between small fingers, looking intently at the veins that ran through the leaf, all ending in the stem between her thumb and index finger. A small gust of wind came up, ripping the leaf from her hand, wide blue eyes following its path up into the air.

I leaned on my rake as I watched the entire thing unfold, amazed at Parker’s wonder of it all. Then an idea struck. I imagined that devilish spark was in my eyes as I gently took the kid’s hand, knowing not to move too fast toward her. She was still extremely skittish – a fact I truly hoped would dissipate with time.

Parker watched me, part curiosity, part wary concern, as I let her hand go at the edge of the largest pile of leaves. I threw myself down into the pile, making the kid’s blue eyes widen in surprise. The leaves caught my weight easily, and I couldn’t hold in the giggle that erupted from me. Suddenly I wasn’t a twenty-three year old woman, instead I was a child again, destroying what mom and dad had worked so hard to clean up.

I sat up in my sea of leaves, throwing them up in the air, one landing on Parker’s head. This made me laugh even harder, and I beckoned for the curious five year old to join me. And she did.

I swore I heard the kid laugh, though I knew it was in my own head. Or perhaps just a wish. She was tentative at first, not entirely sure what to do, but then she figured it out. She tossed the leaves up into the air like a colorful salad, watching as they fell back to earth, many landing on her, others on me. She grinned from ear to ear, throwing her small body back into the pile, loving the natural cushion.

The fun thing about the kid was that since she didn’t talk, I didn’t feel the need to, either. It allowed me to just communicate with my other senses, feel without the benefit of speech. It was a different experience.

I glanced toward the house and saw Keller looking out the window at us. She was watching, her eyes so filled with something. Always something. I wished so badly that the girl would talk to me instead of taking on the weight of her very heavy world on her own shoulders.

I wanted to go invite the brunette to join them in their fun, but knew she couldn’t because of her injuries, and probably wouldn’t anyway. So instead I met the sad blue eyes, smiling. Keller held the gaze for a moment, then turned her face away, ultimately getting up from her perch near the window, and disappearing inside the second floor bedroom.

I turned my attention back to the kid who continued to play. She looked so much more carefree than normal. It made my heart melt. Again.

Throwing myself, almost literally, back into the play, I found myself on my back, leaves falling over me, half burying my stomach and nether regions. Going with it, I brought my arms out and began to pile leaves, burying myself.

I heard a high-pitched moan of some sort, and suddenly leaves were flying off me. I looked to see a terrified Parker staring back at me, desperately trying to get the leaves off my face. Her breathing was heavy, almost to hyperventilation.

"Parker?" I sat up, the remaining leaves that didn’t cling to my clothes or hair falling around my waist. "Are you okay?" She looked at me with huge, terrified eyes. "What is it?" She refused to answer and instead backed away, closing in within herself.

Playtime over, I sighed, not sure what I’d done. I tried to show Parker how to open the black trash bag, but she was no longer interested and ran back into the house. Up to Keller, no doubt. Sighing again, I began the arduous task of getting the leaves into the bags to turn into mulch later.

"Howdy, kid."

I looked up to see dad closing the gate behind him. I smiled and held my hand up in greeting.

"What’s up, old man?" I continued to stomp the leaves further into the bags with my boot, trying to cram as much as possible for fewer bags.

"Just came by to see how you’re doing." He looked up at the back of the house, then looked at me. I grinned.

"And to see how my houseguests are doing, huh?" He blushed, looking down at the grass.

"Caught me." He eyed me and I smiled, letting him off the hook. "How are they?"

"Not bad. Keller is still ignoring me, and Parker has her moments. She was out here a little while ago, but I don’t know." I sighed, leaning on the rake and staring up at the windows of their bedroom. "We were playing in the piles, then just that quick," I snapped my fingers, "she freaked out on me. Not a clue. It’s like constantly being around a skittish dog or something."

"It’ll take time, Monk." He slapped me on the back and I nodded. "Where are they?"

"In there." I nodded toward the house. "Probably huddled together in Keller’s room." He looked at me for clarification. "My old room. They both use it now."

"Ain’t that sweet." He teased. "That old room is getting some new life in it after all." I rolled my eyes and shooed him inside.

I finished up with the leaves, tossing the heavy bags toward the back fence for now, then headed inside. The boys were gathered around dad, who was feeding them licorice.

"Dad!" Hands on hips, I looked at him in stunned surprise.

"What?" he said, looking like a guilty little boy. "Parker wouldn’t take any." My glare immediately faltered, and I sat across from him at the table. He was just too cute, looking all dejected by a five year old.

"Leave some here, dad. If anyone can get her to take them, it’ll be Keller." I looked at the small pile he had on the table and took a couple of the long, ropey candies. I’d get them to her later.

"Do you need anything, Monk? Food? Clothing for them? Money?"

I shook my head. "I think we’ve got everything as under control as it can be."

"How long are they staying?" He patted Roy’s head, which laid in his lap.

"Keller insists on leaving once she’s eighteen and can get custody of Parker." I sighed, saddened.

"What? That’s nuts! Did you tell them girls they could stay here?" Dad’s eyes narrowed accusingly.

"Of course I did. Keller’s got more pride in her little finger than most in their entire bodies. She’s determined to do this herself, dad." I closed my eyes, leaning my aching forehead against my hand.

"There’s pride and then there’s just plain stupid stubbornness."

"I agree. All the same, it’s her decision."

Dad sighed, sitting back in his chair and grabbing a licorice, chewing on the end. He stared off into the distance, forehead creased in thought. "We gotta do something for them kids."

"I agree. Keller’s birthday is coming up at the end of next week. I thought maybe we’d do something for her down at the hangar." I also began to nibble one of the red ropes. Dad nodded.

"Sounds good. Maybe Penny can get her sister to make a cake or something."

"Cool. I’ll ask her." Penny’s sister, Martha, was known for her baked goods. Whenever she made a pit stop at the hangar, we were all happy campers for days.

"Well, I best be going. Just came by to check on you all." Dad stood, knees popping as he did so. "Damn cartilage," he muttered, then reached into his hip pocket. He tossed a rolled up twenty onto the table. "For food or whatever."

"Dad, I don’t need this."

"Take it," he said, pointing at me. "I want to help, too." I smiled, dropping my head and nodded.

"Okay. Thanks." Scooping the money up, I fingered it as I walked him to the door.

"See you at work tomorrow."

*  *  *

It was the third day in a row that the house was spotless, and I knew exactly who the culprit was. Either she was saying my house was such a disgusting mess that she had to get out of bed a week after surgery to clean it, or she was trying to pay some sort of debt.

My guess was the latter.

I’d decided to come home early today, grabbing a bite at home rather than some fast food joint or the airport café. The lock disengaged and the door swung open. I could hear the swish, swish of a mop on tile floors. Creeping inside, I peered into the kitchen to see Keller, mop in hand, head hanging as she swept the heavy cloth strands back and forth.

"Keller?"

She turned, eyes wide with fear and surprise, holding the mop between us. I held up my hands in a gesture to show I meant no harm.

"What are you doing? You’re going to hurt yourself." Genuine concern made my voice slightly harsher than planned, but I did not want this girl to pop her damn stitches. She said nothing, but seemed to relax. A little. I sighed. "Listen, I appreciate you cleaning, but Keller, your body can’t handle this right now." I indicated the large kitchen floor and house surrounding us.

"I pay my debts," she said quietly.

"I understand that. We’ve covered this. Pay when you can. Not now. You need to be resting now." Out of the corner of my eye, on the table, I saw a book lying open. Glancing over at it, I saw the drawings and technical sketches of the F-4 Phantom II fighter jet. I looked back at her, and she immediately looked away. I knew the book had come from my office and dad’s war plane collection.

"You said that I could touch anything in your house whenever I wanted." Blue fire was suddenly boring into me, nearly knocking me off my feet. I was stunned at the defensive venom in Keller’s voice.

"Whoa, wait a second. I never said anything, Keller." I tried to reason with her, but she continued to glare at me.

"Don’t say we can touch your stuff if we can’t."

"Keller, stop it! I never said a damn word." I was getting pissed now. "Don’t accuse me of something I haven’t done, just like I didn’t accuse you." I stared a hole through her, making her look away. "Read those books. It’s about time somebody did." She said nothing, and I took a deep breath to get myself under control again. "Do you like planes?"

Keller shrugged her shoulders. "They’re okay." She glared down at her shoes, then without looking up, she held out the mop. I took it from her, watching as she made her way slowly up the stairs.

PART 6

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO you, happy birthday to you, happy birrrrrthday to Kellerrrrr, happy birthday to you!" I grinned as I presented a most confused janitor with a stack of pancakes on a plate, a single lit candle sticking out the top. "Blow it out and make a wish."

Keller, who had been in bed, sat up, looking at me with wide, confused eyes. Her hair was a mass of dark tangles all over her head, her large t-shirt collar exposing one very prominent clavicle. She stared at the candle and pancakes, blinking several times, then blew. And blew again. And again, unable to get a full breath through the pain of the broken ribs. Finally, the single candle flickered out. She looked satisfied at her accomplishment, but I had to wonder if it was air currents that snuffed the candle, rather than the weak attempt from her injured body.

She also looked as though she had no idea why I was telling her to do such a thing, but I smiled and clapped anyway.

"Happy birthday, Keller." I went to the dresser where I’d placed the tray with syrup, juice and Parker’s breakfast.

"Um, thank you," Keller said, her voice very quiet, but lacking the normal hostility. I nodded with a smile.

"I’ll leave you two to it. Enjoy." I left the bedroom, intent on my own breakfast downstairs. I let out a breath of relief as I hurried down the stairs, not sure how Keller would respond to my birthday wishes. She was eighteen today, and really didn’t look a day over sixteen, though I figured that was probably from her painfully thin frame. If nothing else, I planned to fatten her up. That way she could face the winter with much better luck health-wise. I wished there was some way to get those dark circles under her eyes to disappear, too.

Gee, I don’t wish for much.

I ran my hand down the banister, noting how smooth and shiny it was. Man, that kid could clean. If anything, maybe I’d hire her on to clean this place up once a week. I hated housework, but she didn’t seem to mind it and was good at it. I wondered if she’d take offense to that. Either way, I had to hurry to get me and Parker ready to head out for another fun-filled Thursday.

*  *  *

Over the weekend, I decided it was time to clean out the fireplace and get it ready for the upcoming winter. Hell, we could already use the thing as it was. So, I covered the entire living room with old sheets, making sure none of the furniture was exposed, as this was a most messy endeavor.

I hurried up the stairs to grab a couple more from the hallway linen closet. Parker sat in her new favorite spot – at the top of the stairs, tucked into the corner near the guest bathroom. She had her dolls out, Skipper sitting watching the action with Ken and Barbie. I heard banging as I reached the top, and looked down. Ken was being whacked against Barbie.

"Honey, don’t play so rough," I said gently, lightly ruffling Parker’s blonde curls. She looked up at me with unemotional eyes, then turned back to her toys. As I grabbed the old sheets from the very top shelf, I heard the banging again, and decided to let her learn a lesson. If the dolls broke, she’d learn she had to be careful with them.

As I passed by again, I watched as yet again Ken was being smacked into Barbie, his chest against her head. Parker laid Barbie down on the floor with an unceremonious thud, grabbed one of the Golden Books I’d bought for her and placed it on top of Barbie, covering the doll completely. I cocked my head to the side, wondering what the hell kind of game she was playing.

Figuring child’s play was child’s play, I hurried back to my original task.

I felt like Dick Van Dyke in ‘Mary Poppins,’ black from head to toe with soot from last year’s usage. The chimney was now clean, but I was not. A quick glance at the clock told me it was nearly six, and I knew that a couple of sisters would be hungry.

"Hey, Keller?" I called out, grabbing one of the old sheets to try and wipe some of the grime off me. I heard footfalls down the hall, then they stopped at the entrance of the living room. Keller had started getting up and around, and I didn’t say a word. It was her body, and I figured as long as she didn’t do anything stupid, she’d be fine. I could feel her restlessness. Next Monday she’d start work again at the hangar.

I looked over my shoulder at her, surprised to see a barely suppressed look of amusement. I knew that really only my eyes and teeth were distinguishable.

"Could you please make something for dinner? This took longer than I expected, and I need to get me and this place cleaned up." The brunette nodded and started to walk away. "Keller?" She stopped, looking at me expectantly. "Thank you." She stared at me for a moment, her face impossible to read, nodded, then headed toward the kitchen.

Looking around, I tried to decide how to do this. I was filthy and didn’t want to spread it around the house. I knew that Keller was in the kitchen, and glanced up the stairs to see that Parker was no longer there. She had probably followed her sister.

Quickly, I slipped my shirt over my head, then scrambled out of my shoes and jeans. My underwear and bra weren’t horrible, at least they wouldn’t leave a soot trail. Making sure once more that the path was clear, I scurried up the stairs and into the master bathroom. Laughing at my daring task, I washed myself off in the shower.

I thought I heard a giggle as I got closer to the bottom of the stairs, dressed in clean clothes. The sweet sound suddenly stopped, and I was disappointed. It amazed me how I could have a young child and young girl in my house, yet it was as quiet as it was before they arrived. With a heavy sigh, I pushed the swinging kitchen door open.

Keller sat next to Parker, who sat on the phone books I’d stacked for her, making it ‘her’ chair. She looked up at me, the grin still on her face from whatever her big sister had done. Keller was looking down at her plate with a half-eaten grilled cheese on it, and a couple spoonfuls of Mac ‘N’ Cheese.

"Hey, guys," I said cheerily, heading over to the counter where the food was ready for the taking. I swore I heard crickets chirping behind me with the warm welcome I received. Learning to try and keep my feelings from getting hurt, I loaded my own plate and sat down across from Keller.

She leaned over to Parker, wiping some errant cheese from the girl’s mouth.

"This looks really good, Keller. Thanks again." A simple nod was her response.

"Come on, Parker. Let’s get you bathed and ready for bed." Keller’s voice immediately softened, and she heaved the five year old out of the chair, setting her gently on her feet. The brunette grabbed both their plates, ready to head toward the dishwasher.

"I’ll get it. You two go on." I smiled at the confused look on the brunette’s face. "Really. It’s okay. You cooked, I can clean up." Keller stared at me, making me nervous. I ran a hand through my short, wet hair, trying not to break eye contact first. Finally she nodded, then they headed out, the door swinging lazily after they were gone.

I sighed, picking at my food.

*  *  *

I was nervous. Very nervous. I could hear the girls getting up and about, Keller giving Parker simple instructions such as, "Remember to brush your teeth, Parker. Let’s brush your hair. Make sure to go potty before we go." I smiled, following the same instructions.

This was the first day Keller had joined Parker and I during our morning ritual – first, I got the kid ready, then we ate, then I drove her to school. For a moment, just a very small one, I felt jealous. Stupidly so, but jealous all the same. I enjoyed my time with the adorable little blonde, as brief as it was. Just the two of us, and I had her attention. When Keller was around, it was as though I didn’t exist. She just looked up in awe at her big sister, matching blue eyes only for each other.

Keller got out of the truck with Parker, walking her as far as the flag pole. She knelt down and took the little one into her arms, telling her something. Parker nodded, then with a look back at me and a quick wave to Keller, she disappeared into the swarm of young children.

Keller got back into the truck, buckled herself in, and looked out the passenger window, watching until she could no longer see the school. With a sigh, she turned and looked out the windshield.

I turned on the truck’s radio, tired of the silence already, and we’d driven maybe a mile. I’d learned to not really try at conversation with the janitor. She’d answer my questions, basically, but never, ever add anything. I got the distinct feeling that she’d rather be left alone.

I couldn’t help but sneak glances at her once in a while. The bruises had gone down significantly, barely visible in most places. The stitches had been taken out last week during her visit with the doc, and her shiner was a mere pale memory. He had said her incision was healing well, and that she’d be just fine. He’d instructed her to gain some weight, at least fifteen pounds. She had nodded dumbly, but had quickly looked away. I wondered what she’d been thinking.

Health prognoses improving, and the girl now eighteen, a legal adult, she wanted to move out. I felt sad at this realization, and was suddenly filled with worry and doubt. Looking at my silent companion again, I began to chew my bottom lip, a hand going through my hair. I could feel that it was sticking up now, but didn’t care.

"Keller?" I said, after some thought. I could feel her eyes on me, but kept mine on the road ahead, feeling I could say what I had to say better without looking into those angry, haunted eyes. "I just want you to know something." I swallowed. "I know you said you wanted out of here when you turned eighteen, and you are that. Of course you’re free to go, as you never were a prisoner. But," I chanced a glance over at her to see she was staring out her side window again, "know that if you guys need anything, anything at all, just give me a holler."

Keller said nothing, nor did she look at me. I had the feeling she had heard every word I’d said, but would never take me up on it.

"Also, if you change your mind . . ." My voice trailed off. There was nothing more for me to say.

The rest of the ride was completely silent, save for the quiet hum of the radio. Soon enough, thank god, the hangar came into view. I just hoped the guys had followed through.

Keller perked up in her seat, staring out the windshield, then looking at me with confusion. "What’s that?" she asked, pointing. I followed her finger and grinned. Go, boys! Across the top of the large bay doors was a hand-painted sign which read WELCOME BACK AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KELLER!

"Looks like a sign to me." I glanced over at her in time to see her glare before it disappeared when she turned back to the hangar.

I parked in my usual spot, next to dad’s Jeep, and got out. Looking in the open door, I saw that Keller was still firmly planted in her seat. "You coming?" Almost as if I’d jolted her out of her reverie, she nodded, and unbuckled her seatbelt.

Keller was nervous, I could tell. Maybe even scared. The bay doors were open, and I could see the table laden with everything I bought beforehand. The boys had done real good. The boys in question started to stream out of the caverns of the hub of the hangar.

"Mornin’," dad said, shielding his eyes from the intense rays of the early morning sun.

"Hey, pop. Everyone." I turned to see that Keller was a few feet behind me, trying to take in everything.

"Happy birthday, Keller. Welcome back, kid," Dad said to her with a smile on his grizzled face, a toothpick already dancing.

"Uh, thanks," she said, taking in all the familiar faces of Reggie, Jerome and Penny. When her eyes landed on Gabe, she looked wary.

"This is my friend Gabe, Keller. Gabe, our janitor and Parker’s big sister, Keller."

"Nice to meet you, Keller. Happy birthday. I’m glad you’re feeling better. You had this one worried for a while there." He put his arm around my shoulders, and I blushed slightly. Keller only nodded in acknowledgement, eyes straying to the table. The group headed that way, and Penny opened the cardboard bakery box to show a quarter sheet cake done in white frosting with a caricature of the Red Baron’s Fokker Dr 1 drawn on it with frosting. A goggled pilot grinned from the open cockpit with Keller’s name written in black frosting in the plane’s exhaust.

Next to the small pile of brightly decorated paper plates and plastic forks was a stack of wrapped gifts. Keller’s eyes were everywhere, trying to take it all in.

Penny butted in front of me and stuck two wax numbers into the soft cake. A number one and eight were now sticking out of the top. The flick of a lighter, and their wicks came to life.

Dad pulled out a harmonica from his coveralls breast pocket and played middle C. We all fell into a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday.’ I wasn’t sure whether Keller wanted to deck me or bolt, but her eyes danced everywhere, trying to figure out where to land her gaze.

Reggie ended the song with a stirring, "You look like a monkey, and you smell like one, too!" I smacked him on the arm and turned to my employee. She met my gaze.

"Didn’t we already do this?" she said quietly, unsure.

"Yes, but that was just pancakes. Not real cake and presents." I grinned toothily at her. Her eyes scanned the gifts, then fell back on me.

"What am I supposed to do with those?" she asked. For the first time since I’d noticed her, she looked unsure of herself. I leaned in a bit.

"You open them, Keller. They’re yours."

Penny began to cut the cake as the janitor chewed on her lip with indecision. She looked at me again.

"Why did you do this?" My answer was interrupted by my secretary.

"Here you go, kiddo. The first piece to the birthday girl." The redhead smiled broadly, hand proudly resting on her hip. Keller took the plate and piece of cake, looking at it. I wondered if she’d ever had it before.

Everyone seemed to be holding their breath as we watched her. She took the fork in an unsteady grip and sliced a small bite from the corner of the square piece. Without further ado, it disappeared inside her mouth, and everyone erupted at once, talking, laughing, asking Penny where their piece was. I simply smiled, watching the slight look of enjoyment that I hoped I didn’t imagine pass across Keller’s face.

Her eyes met mine for just a moment before quickly looking away. Go ahead, shut me out. I know you’re enjoying that piece of cake.

I smiled happily as I accepted my own piece.

"We’ll bring Parker a piece," I said around a lump of frosting. Keller snorted.

"She’d inhale it."

I thought for a moment. "Then we’ll bring her two." I looked at her, my eyes twinkling. She snorted again and scraped the plate clean with the edge of her fork.

"Present time!" someone yelled, and again, all eyes were on the brunette. She looked around, then slowly made her way over to the side of the table where the neatly-wrapped gifts were stacked. She took her time, mindful to not rip the paper, finding every place where tape had been applied, and lifting it there. I was getting impatient.

"Rip into the sucker," I suggested. She looked at me like I’d just eaten a mouse, and continued on her own slow, sweet pace. They were her gifts, so I decided to shut up.

She found hand-held games inside, a couple books by various authors. A pair of slippers, and a toilet brush from dad. She looked to be in positively killer mode.

"Are you saying I do a poor job?" she asked, eyes narrowed.

"Nope, kid. I’m saying it’s a gag gift. Booby prize," he explained. "You’re supposed to laugh." He grinned, and she gifted him with the ghost of one. She did, however, examine the new toilet brush, replete with a matching holder. Setting it aside, she opened one of the smaller boxes, and we all held our breath. It was a brand new pair of Ray-Ban aviator sunglasses. We’d all put in the money to replace the glasses that had always adorned her face. Her old pair had been broken in the confusion of the ER.

She took them out of their protective box and held them up, seeing her reflection in the mirrored lenses. Without further ado, she put them on. A sigh of relief made its rounds, all of us worried she wouldn’t like them.

She looked at the final gift, from me. Taking in the box’s size, she looked at me. I smiled encouragement. Again, taking her time, she finally got the paper off of the two-by-three-foot box, refolding the paper as she looked at the box. On the front was a picture of the F-4 Phantom II fighter jet in flight. Inside the box was what would end up being a three-foot-long model of the great plane.

She looked up, saw she was being watched, and quickly put the box down.

"Thanks," she said, her eyes and expression hidden behind the new sunglasses.

"You’re welcome."

"Alright, everyone. Back to work," Dad called, followed by the grumbles of those still eating cake.

*  *  *

I was sad as I brought the Cessna to a stop on the tarmac. I missed being in the air daily. Since everything had gone down with Keller, I had only had two flights, and was going through severe withdrawal. I’d definitely have to heft my load up.

When I got into the office, dad handed me a sealed manila envelope. I knew what it was immediately.

"I think she’ll be pleased," I said, smiling at him. He looked worried, but nodded. "Where is she?"

"Cleaning the restroom, I think." He fiddled around in his drawer until he came up with an almost empty box of toothpicks. Picking the right one out, he shoved it between his lips. I turned and went in search of the janitor.

I could hear the bristles scrubbing against the tile floor. Keller was bent over her task as I entered the bathroom. Cleaning supplies were scattered throughout the room, showing she was giving the place a thorough scrubbing. I seriously doubt my handiwork had gotten the place near to what her cleaning standards were. The girl had an eye for detail.

Without a word, I walked up behind her. To my utter shock, with just one fluid movement, she was on her feet, and her eyes were boring into mine. I looked down and saw where her hand had grasped the material on the front of my flight suit. I met her eyes again, stunned.

Slowly she released my shirt, taking a step back, her eyes never leaving mine. She even seemed to raise her chin just a smidge, as if in challenge. I let it go.

I cleared my throat and brought the envelope up. "I have one last gift for you." My voice sounded thin, so I cleared my throat again. I didn’t want her to know she’d scared the shit out of me. She looked down at my offering, barely giving it a glance before her gaze returned to mine. "Take it, Keller," I said, my voice soft. I felt the small burden being lifted, not daring to break eye contact.

"Thank you." Her voice was also soft, but not with the gentleness I tried to install in mine. It was more obligatory.

"Open it. Please." Our visual cock fight continued for just a moment before her eyes dropped to what she held in her hand. I watched as she dropped the brush she’d held to the floor. She carefully ripped the sealed flap open, reaching inside to withdraw the clean, white sheets of paper. She looked confused. "Read it." She did.

"What is this?" She held the paper up slightly.

"She’s yours, Keller. Until all this is over with your father, one way or another. She’s yours."

Keller’s eyes took in the temporary custody forms again, her name typed in the space of temporary guardian of Parker Alberta Mitchum.

"You need to sign them so I can get them to our lawyer." The dark head nodded as she continued to look at the legal document before her. Since everything had happened nearly a month ago, I had the distinct feeling that Keller thought I was trying to take Parker from her. Nothing could be further from the truth; I felt the girls needed to be together.

Reaching into the breast pocket of my jumpsuit, I handed her a pen. Taking it in slightly shaking fingers, she used the wall as support and signed her name to the dotted line. Without a word, she handed both back to me, and I put them in the envelope for safe keeping.

"Thank you," she said, though her eyes remained on the floor. This time her voice, though quiet, was sincere.

"You’re welcome." I left her alone then, needing to unload my plane.

*  *  *

The day went by quickly, and I was glad. I was tired and cranky, and just wanted to go home and relax. I waited by the truck for Keller, who was gathering up her loot from earlier. I stifled a grin as I remembered walking past the bay door earlier. I had seen her sweeping, though the strokes were slow as the janitor tried not to be noticed. She was leaning over as far as she could, looking at the table filled with her goodies. I had wanted to laugh, but didn’t have the heart to embarrass her.

Our little threesome settled in, as had quickly become the routine. We ate dinner, which I usually cooked, and Keller insisted on doing the dishes. I was tired of fighting with her, so it just became the way things were. Besides, it was kind of nice to get a break from certain tasks. I thought Parker should help her big sister, but Keller insisted that the kid be able to be just that. So, Parker inevitably would hurry upstairs to grab her dolls, and plant herself in her little corner next to the bathroom.

We had somehow managed to drift into a strange sort of domesticity. It seemed natural to hear the banging of Parker’s play, and see Keller once in a while, as she ducked from her bedroom or outside. No one really talked much, save for Keller to Parker. The girls spent a lot of time together.

On this particular night, Keller had disappeared into her room, closing the door behind her. My gut told me she was looking at her gifts undisturbed. It warmed me somehow to know that she cared and was touched in some way by our offerings. It had stung a bit, the way she’d just shirked it all off at the hangar even though she did sneak looks from time to time.

I sighed, mounting the stairs, deciding to read in bed. Parker was playing with her dolls, and I watched for a moment. She seemed oblivious to me.

The Ken doll was once again being slammed into Barbie, Skipper sitting nearby. The Barbie finally sunk to the floor. The Ken doll was put aside, and the Barbie was covered with Parker’s sock. My brows narrowed. What the hell kind of game was this? The kid then grabbed the Skipper doll and put it behind her, picking up the Ken doll, and making him jump up and down, his little plastic feet making light thud sounds on the wood.

I was transfixed as I watched the kid grab Barbie from under her ‘blanket’, and the entire thing was acted out again. I had no idea what the dolls were supposed to be doing, but I decided I’d "eavesdropped" enough. About to turn away, I was surprised when I heard Keller’s voice.

"Parker." The kid looked up at her older sister, and saw what I saw – a single shake of the dark head in the negative. Parker set her dolls aside. Game over.

*  *  *

I had a damn busy day, and was glad of it. I would be flying the friendly skies all day long! A happy girl, I whistled into the front office for my morning mud.

"Mornin’, Penny." I grinned at the secretary, getting a curious glare in return.

"Ohhh, looks like someone got some last night," she purred, leaning back in her chair, eyeing me up and down. I rolled my eyes.

"With who? Roy?" I snorted, pouring the dark, strong-smelling liquid into my cup.

"Nah, I figured with that call service that’s not too far from your place." She grinned up at me, dark eyes twinkling with sexual mischief. It was my turn to look her up and down.

"Nah, you were off duty." With a sexy little grin, I stirred my coffee, then headed toward the office I shared with dad, followed by Penny’s laughter.

"Good one, Monk!" she yelled, and I grinned. The grin melted into confusion. There on the desk, sitting atop some papers, was a very tight roll of bills. I grabbed it, holding it up to my eyes. The money was rolled nearly as tight as the size of a marijuana joint, though it was obvious there was quite a few bills in the mix. I noticed a piece of paper where the money had lain. Picking it up, I read–

For my expenses. Keller

"Expenses?" I looked around, trying to catch sight of my elusive little friend. I saw her heading outside, her mop bucket being slowly pushed in front of her. She still moved much slower than her usual gait, but she seemed to be healing okay. I crumpled the note and tossed it to the desk top, marching out to have a little chat.

Looking around, the little shit a slick little bugger, I finally spied her. She was leaning against her mop handle, near where she’d dumped the dirty water, running a coverall-clad forearm across her forehead.

"Keller?" I walked up behind her, learning not to be silent about it. She looked at me, those damn sunglasses firmly in place. "What is this?" I held up the rolled money. I don’t even think she bothered to look at it.

"Money," she said, her voice low, already on the defense.

"Yes, I know what it is, what I want to know is why it was on my desk?" I felt like my mother as my hands automatically went to my hips. One of the few gestures I had that were purely her.

"I left a note." Keller raised her chin slightly, challenging.

"Expenses?" I cocked my head slightly to the side. "I don’t understand. I thought we discussed this."

"I saw that receipt. I know you can’t just toss out a couple hundred dollars for medicines for me." Her voice had become quiet. "That’s all I have right now. I’ll get more." I opened my mouth to protest, but her face hardened, and my mouth snapped shut. "I can’t just pay our way with housework." Her words were biting, filled with pride and desperation. "This is all I have right now. I’ll get you more. You have expenses, too."

I sighed, wrapping my fingers around the wad of bills. "You won’t let me say no, will you?" Keller only looked at me, her jaw working in silent, stubborn determination. "Okay." With that simple word, I walked away.

*  *  *

One thousand, eleven dollars! Probably every goddamn penny that girl had earned in her entire fucking life! I threw the counted money onto the desk, disgust filling me. I knew there was no way I could say no. I had learned a lot about the private girl that was Keller. She was full to the top with pride. That was all she had. There wasn’t a chance in hell I could reject her offer. In her mind, she was paying her own way, even if by a little at a time.

I felt like a schmuck.

Plopping down in the chair, I rested my forehead against my hand, suddenly feeling a headache coming on. I looked at the money, feeling like good ol’ Hamilton grinned back at me, sticking his tongue out.

"Asshole," I muttered, looking away. What was I going to do with it? There was no way in hell I was going to keep Keller’s money. No way, no how, not happening. My head jerked up with the sudden idea that filled it, and I blew a raspberry at the dead president. I knew my eyes held that evil little glint in them. I snagged up all the money and stuffed it into the breast pocket of my coveralls. I passed Reggie on my way to the truck. "If anyone needs me, I’m going to the bank."

*  *  *

"I just need you to sign here, ma’am." The helpful woman pointed to the line she’d marked an X at. I quickly drew my chicken scratch across it, admiring my unreadable handy work. I handed the paper back to the woman, as well as the cash, and she smiled, leaving the small, glassed-in office for a moment. I stared out the window that looked over the busy afternoon street of downtown Warwick.

Cars drove by at various speeds, a few pedestrians walking along the sidewalk, shopping in the cold, early autumn day. October was upon us, Halloween just around the corner.

The woman returned, and with another smile, handed me the little packet that told me how much was in the account I had just opened, as well as a little folder containing withdrawal slips. I smiled and thanked her. There wouldn’t be any withdrawals from this account for another thirteen years.

Tucking the papers into my pocket where moments before the money had been, I made my way out into the day. As I drove back toward the hangar, I passed Parker’s school, seeing dozens of little ones playing in the school yard. They laughed and chased each other, screeching in fright. I smiled, looking for a particular blonde. I didn’t see her, but knew she was there somewhere. It had genuinely surprised me how attached I was becoming to the kid. I had never really been one for kids. I had no nieces or nephews, nor cousins that were younger than me, or close enough to be with, anyway.

How had she done it?

I had never wanted kids. Still didn’t, basically. The thought had frightened me, not wanting anything to happen to me, and them being left alone, abandoned. I was not the type who got all googly when there was a kid or baby in the room, either. When mom used to have her friends over, and they’d bring or talk about their grandkids, oh man! All I could do was just sit there and roll my eyes. I thought it was ridiculous. Who gives a shit if they just said their first word? Soon enough you’ll want them to shut up, anyway. I had never understood it.

Keller was eighteen now. She said she wanted to take herself and Parker and start a new life for them once she became legal. She wanted to take that beautiful little girl out of the safety of my house, and take her out into the cold, uncaring world. Was it for spite? Pride? Fear of Parker being taken away? I thought I’d quelled that by dad signing his rights over to her.

I hated to think of the little girl going. Hell, I even hated the thought of Keller gone. She drove me nuts, and couldn’t possibly get any ruder, but still. At least if she was being rude to me, I knew she was safe. I worried that no matter how mature and grown up her life had forced her to be, she was still very naïve and had no clue about life’s expenses. Could she care for herself and Parker? Would they starve to death? I had the distinct feeling that Keller would never allow dad or I to help her or give her anything. Like, say, I decided to stop by the hole-in-the-wall apartment Keller would be able to afford and drop off dinner. Would Keller throw it in the garbage just to prove her point?

I hoped not.

My heart was heavy, waiting for those dreaded words any day. The girls were free, and Keller knew that. She could pack them up in the middle of the night if she wanted. There was not word one I could say.

*  *  *

Nothing had been said about the money since it was given to me a week ago. Nothing much had been said at all, really. Keller stayed in her little part of the house, and I stayed in mine, Parker our only link.

I had surprised the girls by bringing home a pint of ice cream a couple days ago. Parker had been thrilled, never really able to enjoy the cold treat before. Keller helped the girl remain basically clean, but didn’t say much about it. I’m not even sure if she had any. After we got everything cleaned up, remaining ice cream stowed away in the freezer, I handed Keller her check.

"Here you go." I smiled, and she looked at me, taking the check from my hand. She left the room and I sighed. Smiling at Parker, I turned to make a pot of coffee, wanting to ease the chill out of the house. I looked out the window, noting that the first snow of the season was getting a slow start. The small flakes were dancing around, lit in the dark night by an occasional car that drove by, illuminating the flakes in headlights. I could tell the snow was a wet one – the cars’ tires sloshed through the forming puddles. It would be so much fun cleaning off muddy puppy feet later.

Turning away from the window, I left the kitchen to head to my office when I saw Parker and Keller in the living room. Parker sat on the living room floor playing, and Keller sat on the couch. She was staring out the window, her eyes focused on what, I wasn’t sure. I looked toward the window, and from the darkness beyond, all she could see was her own lonely reflection. In that reflection I saw that her eyes had taken on that haunted look again. She looked so unhappy.

My gaze traveled over her, and I saw the check I’d given her sitting in her lap, face up. She looked down at it, then over at Parker, studying her sister for a moment before her eyes traveled back to the small, typed figure. The girl was making six bucks an hour and working full time, but it still wasn’t much, I knew. If only there was more to be done.

With a sigh, I headed on my path to the office, turning the computer on and waiting for it to boot. I grabbed a pen and began banging it lightly on the edge of the desk, watching as the Windows XP logo came up. About to click on the AOL icon, my gaze was torn away to something that landed on my desk. Realizing it was Keller’s check, I looked up in confusion.

"Keep it," she said, her voice low and dangerous.

"What? Keller, this is your paycheck." She had to know that, right?

"And I said keep it."

"Why?"

"We’re staying. I can’t afford rent, food, clothing, heat, all that shit on this." She tapped the check. "Keep it. It’s the best I can do for right now." She glared down at me, daring me to say anything or try and give it back. I sat there for a moment, stunned. She continued. "I may have a lot of pride, and I may be incredibly stubborn, but I’m not stupid. I’m not going to fuck up Parker’s life any more than it already is." She turned, her head drooping slightly, shoulders following suit as she walked toward the door. I had never seen her look so defeated. My heart went out to her.

"Keller?" She stopped near the doorway, but did not turn around.

"What?" she near hissed.

"It won’t be like this forever." My voice was soft, filled with understanding. This must have been one of the hardest things this poor girl had ever had to do – give up her pride.

I stared at the check for a moment, unsure what to do. As with the other money she’d given me, there was no way I could spend this. But at the same time, bills would start pouring in from Keller’s hospital stay, I knew. Dad and I would be in serious debt very soon, and there was just no way I could afford that, plus the extra bills for food, clothing, utilities, and everything else. I felt trapped.

Making a decision, I grabbed the check, shoving it into my pocket. The girls were still in the living room. The kid leaned against her big sister, holding her blue teddy bear, which seemed strangely thinner, and Keller was looking out the window again, oblivious to anything else.

"Guys, I’m going out for a few. Need anything?" I looked to both of them, only getting a glance from Parker. The brunette shook her head, saying nothing. "Okay. Be back later."

The snow was coming a little faster, though still nothing serious. I doubted there would even be any real accumulation in the morning. Turning the heat in the truck up a notch, I drove to dad’s.

He was up, as I knew he would be. All the lights were on in his small, one-bedroom cottage. This made me roll his eyes. And he wondered why his electricity bill was so high.

Dad’s old hound, Scurvy, was laying on the front porch, not even bothering to lift his head in greeting. I saw his big, watery eyes taking me in.

"Hey, boy." I petted his head, getting a moan in return. I knocked loudly, knowing he’d never be able to hear me over his football game. I grinned when I heard him yell at the screen for a bad pass. Finally he made his slow ass way to the door. Peering out through the curtained front window, he quickly threw the door open.

"Hey, kid!" he exclaimed, surprised at this unexpected visit. "Come in." He backed away, allowing me passage. "What’s up?" He knew me so well.

"I need to talk." I plopped down on the couch, watching as dad made his slow way into the recliner he’d had for thirty years. He looked at me expectantly.

"They’re staying," I finally said, stealing a swig from the half-full beer can that sat at dad’s chair.

"Who?" He swiped the can from me, taking a longer swig.

"Keller and Parker." I took the check out of my pocket, tossing it onto his lap. He took it in his hand, examining it. "She gave that to me."

"Why?" He tossed it back.

"Expenses." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "She said she can’t afford rent and all that good stuff on her own, so they were going to stay. But I guess in order for them to do that, she gives up her entire damn check!" I could feel my anger coming back full force.

"Hold on now, kid. Just hang on and talk to me before you go and get yourself all riled up." He looked at me, making sure he had my attention. I took several deep breaths, then looked at him. "Let me get this. Keller’s saying that she can’t afford to get her own place, so she and the kid will stay with you. But in order for her to do that, she’s gotta give you her whole paycheck? Is that right?" I nodded.

"You got it." I sat back on the couch, slapping my hands on my thighs.

"Okay. Well, sounds like you got a couple options." He took another swig, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "You can put the whole thing in that account you opened up for Parker," he ticked off on a thick finger. "You can use part of the check for bills. Extra stuff being used, food and the like, then give the rest of it back. You can maybe even take a portion of the check out each month to use on stuff just for her. Stuff she’d need or want, you know?" At my nod, he continued. "There’s a whole bunch of things to be done, Monk. Don’t freak yourself out quite yet."

I sighed, feeling a little better. "I’m worried about those bills starting to come in." I ran a hand through my hair.

"You needn’t be." His voice was soft but very stern. I looked at him.

"What do you mean? We’re in debt to our eyeballs, dad! Once those hospital bills come in, you and I will be paying that off for the rest of our natural lives."

"Now, you let what I’m telling you get through that damn thick skull of yours. You needn’t worry about it. Got it?" He looked into my eyes, deep within. I nodded again, though with some reluctance.

"Okay."

"Good." He slapped my knee. "Want a beer?"

"Uh, sure." My brows drew. I didn’t like this one little bit.

*  *  *

When I got home, Keller was getting herself ready for bed. As I climbed the stairs, I saw Parker in their bedroom, sitting on the bed with her dolls and blue bear. The bathroom door was closed, and I could hear water running inside.

Knowing all was under control, I went into my bedroom and began to strip out of my clothes for the night. As I headed into the master bath, I heard a horrible crash coming from the girls’ bedroom. The bathroom door swung open, and Keller ran out, pulling her shirt over her head.

I froze from my place in the hall, wanting to know what had happened, and if Parker was okay, too, but I had seen a glimpse of the girl’s back before it was covered by the green material. There, on her lower back, by her waistline, was a very familiar scar. It was white and much fainter, but I had no trouble making it out.

AM

I felt the breath leave my lungs, my hand automatically going to my chest as I struggled for a moment. Jesus! He had done it to her, too?! The scar looked much older than Parker’s had. Was this his fucking branding technique? Something he did at birth?

"My god," I whispered, taking a deep breath. Getting my bearings back, I made my shaky way to the doorway of their bedroom. I saw the shelving that had been on the closet wall on the floor, their contents, some books and a small metal sculpture, on the floor. Parker was also on the floor, Keller kneeling next to her.

"You can’t do that, sweetie," Keller was saying, gently rubbing the kid’s knee. "You’ll hurt yourself, and you’ll break her stuff. You can’t climb on this stuff. Okay?" The kid nodded, looking up at her sister with big, scared eyes.

"Is she okay?" I asked, my voice soft. Keller looked at me over her shoulder. My eyes kept roaming down her clothed back, morbidly wanting to catch a glimpse of her scar again. I had to tear them away and meet her eyes.

"She’s fine. She’s sorry and won’t do it again." She turned back to her sister.

"It’s okay. All I care about is that she’s alright."

"She’s fine," was tossed over her shoulder. Taking that as my cue, I left them alone.

Once alone in my bedroom, I stretched out on the bed, surrounded by my dogs, and stared up at the ceiling. I thought about the decision Keller had made tonight to stay. It was a very mature, wise decision, and no doubt, heartbreaking for her. I had been amazed and saddened at the same time. I wished so badly that her staying here with me and the boys didn’t seem like such a prison sentence for her. Parker didn’t seem to mind being here, and in fact, seemed to have begun to bloom in the past month.

Why not Keller?

Was I that mean to her? Uncaring? Didn’t I do enough for her?

I knew these were stupid questions. Useless questions. I could take Keller to Macy’s every single day and allow her to shop till her heart’s content, but that would do no good. It all boiled down to she didn’t trust me, and I believe, saw me as another roadblock in a lifetime of them. What would make her happy? When would she find some peace and happiness? I doubted it would ever be under my roof, or anyone’s for that matter.

I sighed and turned over, intent on getting sleep.

*  *  *

Gabe grabbed me a coke, popping the top on his own and taking a long draw. He grinned with joy. He’d always been a sucker for soda.

"Man, I love this stuff." He took another drink.

"How many nails have you been able to dissolve with your addiction?" I asked, grinning.

"Probably an entire hardware store full." He smiled back. "S’okay. I love it." He downed the rest of his drink, then got up to grab another.

We sat in his new apartment, which was tiny, but functional. One big room, fully furnished, looked as though it had been there since the 1970s. Gabe didn’t seem to mind. I think he was just glad to have something that was bigger than eight-by-ten feet.

He was proud of his little corner of the world, a perma-smile fastened to his lips. He looked around the place, taking it all in, all his own personal touches decorating the place – such as the lovely Art d’Coke cans stacked in the corner. However, my personal favorite had to be the pair of women’s underwear tossed on top of the empty book shelves in the corner.

"I see you wasted no time," I said, pointing at the undies with my Coke hand. He followed my finger with his eyes and grinned.

"Hey, you try going two years!" He downed the second drink. I leaned forward in my seat.

"Dude, I have to know. Did you um, well, ya know." I quirked a playful brow at him. "While inside." My friend stared at me for a moment, trying to catch up with my train of thought, then it hit him. He looked away, then down, blushing slightly. I would not dare to ask such a question to just any guy. But my boy Gabe, not a chance I’d let it slip by. Besides, I knew if he needed to talk about anything, he would to me. We sat in silence for a short while, then finally he looked at me.

"Yeah." He was still crimson, his handsome face showing shame and fear at my response. I reached out and covered his hand with my own.

"It’s okay, Gabe. I don’t give a shit, man. It’s not like I’m shocked or anything. However, at some point in the near future, I will be asking you some questions about it." I winked, he rolled his eyes.

"Trouble."

"With a capital T, my friend." I chugged the rest of my Coke, squished the can in my fist and threw it at him.

"You," he pointed at me, "have some violent tendencies." He chuckled, tossing the caught can aside. "Soooo." He played with the tab on his own can, eventually getting it off and popping it into his mouth for that infernal chewing.

"Yes?" I asked, when nothing else was forthcoming.

"How are things with your employee and her sister? She looked a lot better at her birthday thing." He wiggled his tongue at me, the tab at the end of it. Grimacing, I looked away.

"Yeah. She looks a lot better. I think she’s even gained a little weight." I ran a hand through my hair, seeing that unbelievably ugly scar on Keller’s back again in my mind. Shivering slightly, I turned back to my friend. He looked at me curiously, but said nothing. "You should have seen her, Gabe. She was like a rail, bones sticking out everywhere. Reminded me of an alley cat, you know?" he nodded. "Totally scrappy, skinny, skittish and scared."

He snorted. "You make it sound like some horribly cheesy movie."

"Eh, shet epp!" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Save it for the ladies." We sat in companionable silence for a moment. "So, you made the moves on her yet?"

My brows drew. "On who?"

"Keller." He looked over at me, dark eyes shining. I drew up my lip.

"Yeah, no. Not happening, my friend." I gave him a look that asked for no response. Like that ever stopped him.

"Not into chicks, huh?" He grinned, little dimples winking at me.

"You’re an ass, Gabe. I don’t give a shit if she’s into horses. I’m not into her." I gave him a forceful look. "And furthermore, she is my charge. Only a man would think like that. Gee, a lesbian and another woman sharing the same house, must fuck." I rolled my eyes at his laughter.

"Hey, I was only asking. Jeesh. Besides, she looks like she’ll be a real hottie some day." He wiggled his eyebrows, which only made me roll my eyes again.

"Pig."

"Dyke."

"Asshole."

"Carpet muncher."

*  *  *

I checked the handle of the truck, making sure it was locked. Sure that it was, I headed toward my house, seeing a couple lights flooding the windows. The smile leapt onto my face without permission, and though I tried to bring it down, it refused to go. It was nice to know there was someone inside waiting for you, even if they didn’t like you. To know there was another presence in the house made me sleep better at night. Especially since I knew that presence was finally safe.

I had to admit that I got a little thrill from knowing that Keller and Parker were safe and out of harm’s way. Dad and I had a lot to do with that, and it felt damn good to know. I had always admired people who went out of their way all for the good of another. I had never had the opportunity to do it until now, and was glad I had.

The house was quiet, save for some muffled music coming from upstairs. I made my way up after going to feed the dogs and finding that they’d already been fed. They squeaked under my weight, as they had done my entire life, no matter what size my body had been. I smiled at Parker who sat at the top in her corner, playing with the Barbie and friends. She smiled back, though much smaller than my own.

Moving on, I wanted to thank Keller for feeding the boys. I knocked softly, just loud enough to get her attention over the music coming from the alarm clock radio, which I could see on the bedside table though the small crack of the not completely closed door. I could also see the box of the model plane I had bought for Keller was sitting on the floor, along with one of her shoes.

There was movement, then the door was opened fully. When the janitor realized who it was, she quickly hid her left hand behind her back. Curious, my brows drew.

"What’s up?" I asked. She shook her head violently.

"Nothing." The way Keller’s blue eyes flickered away I knew something was up. I looked beyond her, seeing the parts of the model scattered on the floor, and the glue bottle with an open cap sitting next to them. My eyes flickered back to the girl, a soft smile curling one side of my lips. She blushed, looking away more. I reached around her, gently taking her left arm in my hand, and bringing her hand into view. The index finger and thumb were stuck together, and I could see the tell tale white glue that had seeped from between the glued fingers.

"Strong glue, huh?" I said, looking into her eyes. She nodded, but would not meet my eyes. I gently dropped her hand and went to the master bath. Finding what I was looking for, I headed back to Keller’s bedroom, instructing her to sit on the bed. Sitting next to her on the soft mattress, which I knew well, I brought out the nail polish remover and a cotton ball. Soaking the white fluff, I gently rubbed it over the glue, which began to immediately pull apart, a gooey string snapping between index finger and thumb.

Keller pulled her hand away, looking even more embarrassed. I closed the cap on the odorous chemical and looked at her.

"Thanks for feeding the dogs." My tone was soft, as I did not want her to think I would laugh at her mishap. She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Thanks." She wiggled her fingers, then quickly stood from the bed. I knew this was my cue, so I also stood. I glanced at the model out of the corner of my eye. It was coming along nicely, the shell just that, but recognizable. I wondered how long she’d been working on it.

Deciding it was time to take my leave, I did, closing the door to a crack. Glancing to my right, I saw Parker with her dolls. I leaned against the wall and watched.

Barbie was laying on the floor, face down, and Ken laid on top of her. My brows drew when the kid grabbed Ken and began to move him up and down. Realization sparking in my mind, I knelt down next to the girl.

"Parker?" She looked up at me, hand still moving Ken. "Uh, is that your mommy and daddy?" She shook her head, looking at me with those big, innocent blue eyes. I swallowed, feeling my stomach beginning to roll. "Is that you, honey?" She hesitated, chewing on her lip, much like her big sister, but slowly shook her head. She reached down and put her hand on Skipper, who sat nearby, seeming to watch. I began to feel the same panic as that day back in the hospital, when little Parker’s scars were revealed to me. I felt sick, and my hatred for the man I’d met once was increasing again.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Parker pointed a small finger at the door just a little ways down the hall. The bedroom door where Keller was working on her model. I glanced over my shoulder, seeing the golden lamp light sneak through the crack and hearing a Linkin Park song playing.

Looking back at the kid, I looked into her clear, blue eyes. "That’s Keller?" I pointed to the dolls. Golden locks bounced as the kid nodded. "And this?" My voice nearly squeaked as I touched the Ken doll lightly on the back. Parker’s face seemed to close in on itself, her eyes sliding into slits, her lips becoming a thin, white line. I knew instantly. "Al," I near whispered, and I saw the child shiver. "Good god."

PART 7

I STARED OUT MY bedroom window. I was sitting on a chair, arms wrapped around my drawn-up knees. The light of dawn was shining over the horizon, and I brought my coffee cup to my lips, watching the new day begin to burn with the sun’s intense, early morning rays. Like a wildfire, the light spread over the houses and streets. Magical golden fingers. The Midas of our day.

I glanced back over my shoulder, envying my dogs who still slept on, no clue as to the world’s horrors. They snored lightly, Roy groaning slightly in his sleep as he changed position. That bed held no safety and comfort for me this morning. I had been wakened by a nightmare in which Keller was brutally raped then murdered. My heart still beat a staccato rhythm in my chest at the memory. I could see the girl’s blue eyes, so brilliant and clear, filled with terror and pain. I never saw the culprit in my dream, but I knew who had done it.

I shivered again in the early morning air, which though chilled, couldn’t touch my heated skin. The chill was in my heart.

Hearing the girls stir, I knew it was time to get up and around to start the day. It was hard, wanting to stay in my self-imposed isolation. I could not sleep, but did not want to face the world, either. I still felt sick and beyond sad. I had no interest in facing my day, and certainly not in seeing Keller. I was afraid that I’d don a maternal, ‘ohhh, give me loves’ kind of look, and hug her and squeeze her and call her George. She didn’t need that from me, and I didn’t need to get slapped.

With a small sigh, I unfolded myself, drained the rest of my coffee, and got ready for work. The drive to the hangar from Parker’s school was quiet, as usual. I spent half the trip chewing on my lip, stealing glances at Keller, only to return my gaze to the road ahead of us as my brain whirled.

"Keller?"

"What?" She looked out the passenger window. I looked at the back of her head.

"Where’s your mom?" As if in slow motion, she turned, fixing her slightly narrowed eyes on me. She stared me down for a moment, sizing me up. By the time she answered, I felt like I was an inch tall and a year old.

"Gone."

"Oh." I nodded my understanding and snagged my lip with my bottom teeth again. "Keller?"

"What?" She sounded slightly annoyed now.

"I have a difficult question for you."

"With any luck, I’ll have an easy answer." There was no teasing in her voice. Only plentiful sarcasm and annoyance.

"Last night, uh, I saw Parker playing with her dolls again." Keller looked over at me, and I saw a flicker of fear in her eyes. "Keller?" I met her gaze. "Were you, uh, touched?" Inwardly I grimaced at my word choice, thinking it cheesy under the circumstances, but I couldn’t bring myself to use the ‘r’ word.

"Was I raped, you mean?" she said for me. Her tone was terse, eyes hard. I nodded, suddenly feeling ashamed for asking. But I felt I needed to know. I wanted to know what I needed to do or not do, say or not say. I figured the more I knew about her past, the more I could try and help her. Hard blue eyes continued looking at me. "I did what I had to do to keep that monster away from Parker." I nodded again. Wasn’t going to argue that point.

"Oh." I sat there for a second, drawing courage to ask another question. "So, you and Parker are close."

She looked at me, waiting for me to get to the point.

"Is her mother gone, too?" I bit my lip, waiting for the answer.

Again, the annoyed look. "Yes. So no, she’s not mine." She turned back to the window.

"Oh, okay," I said, relieved.

We finally reached the hangar, and I turned to my companion. "Keller, I have a flight up to New York today, which will take a good part of the day. Parker’s teacher is going to drop her off here and dad can give you guys a ride home." I took my key ring out of the ignition, and wrestled with it for a moment, finally snagging a silver key off. "Here. This is your key. I had it made yesterday."

Keller took the key from me, looking at it in her palm, where it gleamed in the early morning light. She looked over at me with something akin to surprise lighting those blue eyes for a moment, then it was gone. She nodded and got out of the truck.

*  *  *

"Oh, fuck!" My eyes squeezed shut, mouth open as my head arched back, a long, satisfied sigh traveling through me. I felt Celeste’s long, red hair brushing my inner thighs as she moved her way back up my body. She looked rather smug, as she should. This was my fourth orgasm in an hour. I had been so tightly wound up, needing to vent in anyway possible. Guess sex won out.

"Damn, baby," she purred, nibbling my neck and up to my mouth. We shared a long, languorous kiss, which was heavily laced with my own taste. She rolled off me, laying next to me on the floor of her living room. We hadn’t even made it to the bedroom, as I’d attacked her as soon as I’d been let in. I felt her eyes on me. I met her gaze. "What was that all about?" She traced a lazy trail though some beaded sweat on my stomach. I sighed, brushing sweaty locks from my eyes.

"I just really needed that." I smiled at her. "Thank you."

"Oh, it was certainly my pleasure." She grinned back. "I have to say, I’m glad I got mine first. After getting you off all those times, I’m exhausted." We both chuckled, and then enjoyed a companionable silence. Finally Celeste spoke.

"How have you been, Garrison? I haven’t seen you in a while. Thought you’d moved on." She turned onto her side, placing a hand on my stomach, looking down at me with her head on her other hand.

I trailed my fingers lightly over the veined back of that hand, and smiled up at the ceiling. "Shit, you won’t believe this." I looked at her, her own curious smile etched across full lips. I began my tale, not leaving anything out. I needed to vent, as well as find out if I was doing something wrong, and that was why Keller absolutely hated the sight of my face.

Celeste was quiet for a moment, letting it all roll throughout her mind. Suddenly she clasped my face between her finely manicured hands, and kissed me. It was a soft kiss, tender but full. When she moved away, I looked up at her, confused.

"What was that for?" Not that I hadn’t enjoyed it, I just had expected something a little more verbal.

"You are a wonderful person, Garrison Davies. Do you know that?" I shook my head, still confused. "I get all weepy eyed when I see people actually stop when an ambulance or fire truck pass by. So rare is it that people are kind to each other. And here you are, taking in these two complete strangers. And a child, to boot!"

I endured a huge hug, nearly crushing my ribs. For just a moment, I got a feeling of how poor Keller must have felt with her injuries. Finally releasing me, she calmed down and got into serious talk mode. One of the things I loved best about Celeste was that, though she was amazing in the bedroom, or living room as it were, she was also a wonderful conversationalist with a quick, logical mind. I often came to her with problems or complaints.

"Let’s talk about Keller," she said, turning over on her back and looking at me, a small crease of thought between her eyes. I nodded.

"Okay. Why does she hate me?"

"I don’t think she does," was my answer. She held a hand up to silence my immediate objections. "Think about it, Garrison. This girl has probably never had anyone to really trust. You said she has no friends, save for maybe her sister. Her mom is gone, though we have no idea when she left. Let’s say she left when Parker was born. That’s still five years that she’s been gone. Maybe she was close to her kids, and maybe not. Keller’s father is an unbelievably evil prick, who used and abused his daughters. And those carvings," she shuddered. It had been hard for me to tell her about those initials.

"You should see those two together, Celeste. I’ve never seen two sisters so close in all my life."

"They’re all the other one has." She looked into my eyes, trying to get me to understand something. "If you think about it, Keller has always taken care of this poor kid, and now here you come, a savior on a white horse. You’re able to provide for Parker and Keller, buy them things they didn’t have before. I mean, you told me about the ice cream thing. Parker had no idea what to do with it! What five year old isn’t hooked on sweets?"

"Yeah."

"You’re Santa Claus, my friend. Keller probably resents that on some level. Not only that, but the fact that she had to go straight from hell to your house."

"Thanks, bud. I appreciate it." I rolled my eyes, and Celeste took me into her arms. I rested my head on top of her stomach as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"You know what I mean, goon. The girl probably just wants to be able to finally do her own thing. She’s had a huge responsibility heaped onto her with Parker and all. Plus, having to keep all this inside for so long. The strong, too, do fall."

I sighed, nodding. With a groan of protest from both my sore body and Celeste, I stood. "I have to get going." Finding my clothing, which was scattered all around the room, I managed to pull everything on. I borrowed some deodorant, ran my fingers through my hair with some water, and was on my way.

The flight back to Warwick was uneventful and quiet for me. I did a lot of thinking, and tons of reminiscing of the last afternoon. I was so grateful to have Celeste in my life. We’d never become more than lovers, as we lived too far apart, and neither of us had a hankering for a long-distance thing. That was a shame, but the way the chips do fall.

I thought a lot about what Celeste had said regarding Keller, and it did make sense. It didn’t make it any easier, though. I’d just have to play everything by ear.

*  *  *

The hangar was dark when I got back, which wasn’t a surprise. It was almost nine o’clock, everyone else having gone home at least three hours ago. Exhausted from the long flight and really athletic sex, I made my way to the office. Imagine my surprise when I flicked on the light, and there on that ancient couch with the nearly duck taped arm, I saw the Mitchum girls at rest.

Keller slept on the edge, her back to the room, with Parker cuddled in her arms against the back of the couch, small hands tucked under a little chin. I smiled, feeling my heart swell. This quickly turned to worry when I realized they were supposed to be at home by now.

I set my things on the desk, then turned toward the girls again. There, laying face down on Keller’s hip, was the October issue for Plane and Pilot. I looked over my shoulder toward the basket that sat in the corner, filled nearly to the brim with old copies. I really needed to throw some out. Turning back to my charge, a memory struck me. A memory of a handprint on my baby in the hangar, and a dropped magazine in the doorway.

Chewing on my lip, I walked over to the pair, nearly stopping in my tracks when I saw blue eyes looking up at me. I hated it when Keller startled me. She looked down at the mag, where my gaze had been moments before, then looked up into my eyes. She looked afraid.

"That’s a great magazine," I said, nodding toward the glossy. She said nothing, nor did she move. Instead, she looked as though she were waiting for the fallout. "Come on. Let’s go home." I decided to leave my paperwork from that day’s flights for tomorrow, and get two very tired girls to bed.

Keller slowly disentangled herself from her sister and stood. She stretched, raising long arms toward the ceiling, and emitting the tiniest little squeak before carefully closing the magazine. She walked over to the basket and laid it down, then went back to the couch, roused Parker, and picked her up, murmuring softly to the five year old.

"You guys head out to the truck, Keller. I’ll follow in a sec," I whispered, so as not to wake the kid, who had fallen asleep again on her sister’s shoulder. Keller nodded and they went out the door. My gaze roamed back to the magazine basket again, and I ran a hand through my hair. With only a moment’s thought, I grabbed four issues, stuffing them into my flight suit, then headed out to the truck.

*  *  *

Keller carried Parker upstairs, and I let the boys out and fed them. I noticed that light was blinking on the answering machine, and clicked PLAY. There were some messages from dad and Gabe, then one from Detective Paul Townsend. He said he needed Keller to call him as soon as possible, and that he’d be in the office until ten. Looking at the clock, I saw that it was twenty till.

Scurrying up the stairs, I handed Keller, who was tucking Parker in, the cordless.

"Keller, Detective Paul Townsend wants you to call him. He’ll be there for a little while longer." She looked at me and slowly nodded. Leaning down to give Parker a soft kiss to the forehead, she took the phone from me with a quiet thank you, and headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind her for privacy.

I paced around in my bedroom, wondering what was happening in there. Did this have to do with Al? Undoubtedly it did. Feeling like an idiot and snoop wannabe, I headed into the master bath to start a shower. I quickly turned the water off when I thought I heard a knock on the bedroom door. Listening, I heard it again.

Keller stood on the other side, phone still in hand. She was chewing on her lip and avoiding eye contact. She sighed, then said, "I need to be at the police station in the morning. Can you still take Parker to school?" She briefly met my eyes, then looked away.

"Of course. We’ll drop her off, then head to the station."

"I can get there myself." She looked at me now, challenging me. Again. I sighed, leaning against the doorframe.

"Keller, the police station is at least fifteen miles from here. I’ll take you."

"I may be there awhile," she cautioned.

"So I get caught up on writing the great American novel. I can handle it." I gave her a smile, which was not returned. She nodded, then turned and headed into her bedroom.

*  *  *

I sat on a very hard wooden chair, my legs crossed this way, then that. Anything to get comfortable. I tried to keep myself occupied with the magazines the clerk at the front desk had so kindly provided me with. She read them during her lunch hour.

Looking at my watch again, I saw that I had been sitting there for an hour and thirty-six minutes. Sighing and running a hand through my hair, I rested my head against the wall behind me and cracked my eyes open, lazily watching people come and go.

Is it possible for a butt to go numb?

Squirming again, this time lifting myself with my hands on the arms of the chair and sliding my legs under me, I sat on them. Ahhh. Padding. Just about to become content for another ten minutes or so, the inner door opened, and Keller stepped out, followed by two suited men. They talked quietly in the hall for a few moments, then Keller was free to go. Not that she was ever a prisoner.

Upon asking the front desk clerk, I found out that Keller was there so they could get a full statement of events from her. They were working on Al’s case and gathering evidence. Hooray!

I stood as she stepped out from the swinging half gate that led to the back, separating it and the lobby. She looked ragged and haggard. Her eyes were dull, haunted, dead, her shoulders slumped.

Opening my mouth to ask if she was okay, I just as quickly snapped it shut. Something told me to keep quiet and leave her alone. She, I imagined, had just been through hell.

I drove us toward the hangar in peace, though I did stop at Burger King and bought lunch. She said nothing, but accepted the food, though she just picked at it. I wanted so badly to just grab her up in my arms and hug her and tell her it would all be okay. I hoped it would, anyway.

*  *  *

Keller smiled brightly as her little sister ran toward the truck. Parker climbed in, gave her sister a hug, then handed me a drawing. I took it, looking at it. I was stunned to see a little blonde stick figure with big, gaudy green eyes smiling from an airplane.

I looked at the kid. "Is this me?" I pointed to the green-eyed pilot. She nodded, big blue eyes looking up at me. "Ah, sweetheart, thank you." I very slowly wrapped an arm around the tiny shoulders, giving the girl a small hug. What I really wanted to do was crush her to me in a giant bear hug. I knew this was not wise, so left it at that. I was truly touched, and could not wait to get home and put the picture on the fridge.

Parker got herself settled between us, Keller snapping her seatbelt into place. I glanced over at the darker girl, knowing she’d had one hell of a day yesterday. She was looking out the windshield, her jaw muscles working. Feeling eyes on her, she looked over at me, and my breath caught. She had a look of death and jealousy on her face. Quickly her eyes left mine, and I shivered.

Once home, Keller holed herself up in their bedroom, leaving Parker in her corner to play. I snagged the daily newspaper, which had recently become an afternoon paper in Warwick. I hated that, preferring to read the paper over coffee in the morning.

So, tonight I sat next to the fire in the living room and began to read. I skimmed over the front page of bullshit politics, not caring what lies were popular this week. Sadly, Warwick’s political state was not much better than that of the country at the moment. I read along page two that old Mrs. Carter had died, and felt sad. I’d have to send her granddaughter, and my old school chum, Ashley, flowers.

My gaze scanned down the page, skimming over the police blotter. I always looked to see if anyone I knew had been arrested. That wouldn’t too far from the possible. And, I didn’t have to wait long–

Basically, I found out that Albert Henry Mitchum Jr., was in jail, being formally charged with child abuse, neglect, sexual assault on a child and incest, and second-degree murder.

My eyes bulged at the last one. What?! Reading the name again, connecting it with the address that was with the name, I read the charges again.

I put the paper down, feeling utterly sick to my stomach, confused, and afraid. What the fuck kind of monster was Al Mitchum? What had he done to those kids in the other room? They are so scared all the time. The other night, they were still at the hangar when I got back from New York because Parker was terrified of going home with dad. He wouldn’t hurt a soul! He’d hid it well, but I knew he’d been hurt by it. Like me, he only wants the best for Keller and Parker. Shit, I’d settle for a stable, normal life for them.

I stood from the couch feeling slightly shaky and unsure. The girls’ door was firmly closed, and I could hear Keller’s soft voice. I listened, realizing she was telling Parker a story of some sort. I had to smile, despite the tempest of emotions inside.

Sighing, I went on to my own room.

*  *  *

The next couple of weeks went by quickly. I had wanted to talk to Keller about the murder charge against her father, but I saw very little of he, and didn’t think it was such a good idea to ask about, anyway. She was kind of cute, actually. I’d come home when she had the day off, and see the house was a total disaster. She always had herself holed up in her room, music playing, and smelling of paint and glue at dinner.

Finally, one day, I walked by her and Parker’s bedroom and saw her masterpiece. Sitting atop the dresser, not a thing next to it, or near it, her model plane. It was finished and looked beautiful. The wood of the dresser beneath it shone brightly, almost as if to proudly highlight the work of art atop it.

Getting the silent idea, I bought Keller more models with the checks she’d give me, as well as continued to bring Plane and Pilot magazines home, leaving them either in their bathroom, on the kitchen table, or on the bed. They were always gone when I’d look, so she was getting them. We said nothing of it.

I got an idea one day. The janitor was doing her cleaning thing in the front office when I went looking for her.

"Keller." She stopped, looking over her shoulder at whomever had said her name. I walked over to her. She looked at me, waiting. Why was it that whenever I talked to her, I always felt like she was taking time out of something very important to give attention to a mere commoner? Clearing my throat so I wouldn’t laugh at my own thoughts, I concentrated on the reason I was there. "I need you to get everything done this morning. At eleven-thirty, go see Jerome in the hangar. Please."

"Okay." She looked unsure, but refused to ask, so I refused to say. I’d let Jerome fill her in on the fact that she was now going to train to be a mechanic at the garage. I was bummed to miss her reaction, for better or for worse, but I wanted her to have the surprise.

Walking into the office later that afternoon, I saw dad talking to a man in a white button-up shirt, red baseball cap pulled over his head, and what looked to be oil-stained jeans. They shook hands, and the man left, carrying a leather satchel. He smiled and nodded at me as he passed me just outside the doorway. I smiled back, then looked at dad.

"Who was that?" I asked, plopping down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. Dad was putting something in the filing cabinet behind the desk. He didn’t look at me.

"Joe Mason," he said, though his voice was very quiet.

"Okay. Great for him, but it doesn’t tell me anything." Outside I heard the sound of the Bell’s rotors starting up. No one flew that thing but dad. Even I had never had the pleasure of having full control over her. "What’s going on?"

"Joe bought the Bell."

"What!" I stood, slamming my hand on the desk. "What are you talking about? Why? You love that helicopter." Dad shrugged, still facing away. He was hiding from me.

"We got bills, Monk." He finally turned, his face stern, barring any questions from me.

"Wait, I don’t understand. We’ve always had bills, dad. What does that have to do with anything?" He looked at me, blue eyes boring into mine, begging me to understand what he was saying. After a few-minute-long silent conversation, it hit me. His words came back to me, not wanting me to worry about the hospital bills, that he had it covered. "Oh, dad," I breathed, feeling my heart break. His already had; I could see it in his eyes.

"It’s like I’ve always told you, Monk– you do what you got to do sometimes in life." I nodded solemnly, knowing that there was probably no other way, or surely dad would have found it. Instead, he gave me a reassuring smile, and I smiled back. I knew that dad was doing all this because he genuinely was a great guy, but also because of guilt. He would never allow himself peace, thinking that he should have done something to put a stop to things long ago.

There was nothing more to be said, so I got up to get the Cessna ready. When I entered into the small hallway, I saw a Plane and Pilot magazines sitting on a chair nearby. Looking around, I didn’t see the janitor anywhere. Interesting.

*  *  *

Flying didn’t hold the magic for me that day that it usually did. Up in the air, I could see the big yellow painted X where the copter used to be. I could try and lie to myself, saying that dad was off somewhere in it, but I knew that wasn’t the truth. I had such mixed feelings. It was truly a relief to know that the hospital bills were now covered, or at least mostly covered, but at what cost?

The safety and future of two innocent sisters, that’s what cost. As long as I could keep that in my mind, I’d be okay. And so would dad. Maybe someday we could get the Bell back.

I decided to check in with Jerome, and see how Keller was doing as his new apprentice. I think the janitor had been happy with my little surprise. When I saw the two of them prior to my meeting with my dad about the helicopter, I think I almost glimpsed a smile on her face. Well, that is nearly glowing for Keller. If I had to wager a guess, I’d say she almost looked happy.

I saw the dark man trying to clean some of the perma-dirt out from under his nails. He glanced up and smiled.

"Hey, Monk."

"Hey, Jer. How goes it?" I hopped up onto the tool box next to him.

"Not so bad. You?" He glanced over at me, and I knew what he was thinking about. I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"I’m sad, Jerome." I looked out the huge, open bay doors, watching as Reggie and Gabe chatted near the pop machine outside. "I wish it didn’t have to be that way."

"Yup. I know Frank feels the same way. But, it had to happen, Garrison. Your father thinks it was worth it. You should, too." I looked up at him, head slightly cocked to the side

"Why?"

Jerome sighed, tossing the grease covered rag into a bin made especially for those. "Frank used to talk to me about that kid. How he worried about her, wondered what her story was. That sort of thing. When you called us here to tell us what was going on at the hospital, your dad looked devastated. He blames himself in part, Monk. He thinks that if he had said or done something earlier, none of this would have happened. That kid is forever changed now. Parker is still young, and her recuperative powers are still raw and raring to go. But Keller," he shook his head. "Makes me sad."

"Yeah. Me, too. So how’s she doing with these bad boys?" I nodded toward the Hercules that was parked behind me. Jerome’s dark eyes instantly lit up.

"That girl is so smart! She’s like a sponge! I tell you, I tell her something, and she’s got it. I am so impressed with her knowledge and understanding. That girl has got one hell of a future as a plane mechanic, if she wants it." Jerome’s enthusiasm made me smile.

"You know, I think she was the one who broke in here. Remember? The magazine was found in the doorway?"

"Handprint on your plane."

"Yep. That’s the one." We both grinned, realization dawning.

"Quick little shit, eh?"

"No joke. I feel better knowing who it was, though. You know, it won’t happen again kind of thing," I said, then looked around the large hangar, not seeing the janitor anywhere. "Have you seen her?"

"Nope. Not lately."

I sighed. "’Kay. I want to get out of here. See you, Jer." I smiled at him and clapped him on the shoulder. He nodded and saluted.

I wandered around the inside of the building, trying to find my . . . challenging . . . charge. She was nowhere to be seen, the magazine no longer in the hallway, and all of her cleaning supplies tucked away in the maintenance closet. Next, I headed outside. Shielding my eyes from the bright, overhead sun, which bounced off the snow-covered ground, I continued my search.

Looking in my truck and around the pop machine, I was baffled, and a smidge worried. Then something caught my eyes – a bit of color against the white of the snow. There, on the snow-cleared helicopter pad, big yellow X marks the spot, was Keller. She sat in the center, knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped around her shins. Her head was tucked down, chin resting on her knees.

As I got closer to her, I got a look at her eyes, which stared off into the distance. Only those blue eyes were visible as her hair acted as a near black curtain, hiding her features. The sun shone off that hair, almost blinding in the contrast of light and dark, much like Keller herself. Her gray coveralls didn’t hang off her frame quite as bad as they once did. It was the first time I really noticed just how much she was starting to fill out. Though she was still lanky, she was not so painfully thin. I could no longer use her vertebrae as a ladder.

I stopped my steps, not wanting to frighten the girl, or raise her hackles. Besides, it seemed as though this was an extremely private moment for her. She tucked her head in, forehead resting on her knees, arms coming up to cover it. She seemed to just sink into herself, her body gently rocking. Her head got lower and lower until her hair spread all around her clutched knees, a dark shawl of grief.

"Keller?" I said, my voice quiet, nearly a whisper. I thought I heard a sniffle, but would never be sure. She looked up, blue eyes full of fire. "I’m going home. Want a ride?" She turned her face away from me, resting her cheek on her knees, like her baby sister had done so many weeks ago in the bathroom. She shook her head. "Are you sure? It’s a long walk–"

"I’ll be fine," she said, the tone nearly cutting me to the quick. Swallowing, I nodded.

"Okay. Be careful." With an extremely heavy heart, I walked to my truck and drove to pick up Parker from school.

*  *  *

Dinner was a quiet affair, just me and the kid. She never asked in her own way, where her sister was, but at every noise, she looked toward the door of whatever room we were in. She missed Keller, and I’m sure had some fear that her sister had left her, or was somehow in danger.

"She’s okay, honey," I said, smiling over at her as we played a matching card game. I shuffled a deck of flash cards, words and matching pictures on each, then spread them out in rows on the carpet in front of the fire. She picked cards, smiling brightly when she got one right, and chewing on her lip in disappointment when she didn’t. Her big, blue eyes looked up at me. "Keller will be home soon. Okay?" She stared for a moment longer, almost as though she were trying to gauge the truth of my words. Finally she nodded and turned back to the game.

I looked at the clock on the mantle – eight-thirty. I was worried, regardless of what I told Parker. Finally it was bath time, then time for bed. As I was leaving Keller and Parker’s room from tucking the little blonde in, I nearly collided with her older sister.

"Keller!" I said out of surprise and relief. She looked at me, as though she were looking through me. She had the oddest look on her face – like a combination of resignation and anger. I felt as though there was a tremendous storm brewing within Keller’s breast, and I wasn’t far from the eye.

She walked past me without a word, and went to the bed. Parker had heard me, and she reached her little arms up to be swooped into a hug by Keller. The kid closed her eyes, happy to be in her big sister’s arms again, and Keller did the same. She squeezed her eyes shut, gripping the little girl in a death grip. That had to hurt, I’m sure. Parker didn’t seem to mind, just relieved at the reunion.

"You need to get some sleep, little one," Keller said, her voice soft and gentle, as it always was where Parker was concerned. She sat on the bed, gently stroking Parker’s golden locks, the little girl’s eyes finally falling shut. Keller stared at her for a long time, chewing on her bottom lip. A sadness as pure as the snow outside radiated off her. It could be felt all the way at the door, where I stood, frozen as I watched her.

Finally realizing she was being watched, Keller’s piercing gaze turned to me. The play of light and shadow mixed on her face to highlight the planes of it. The proud, defined and defiant jaw. The high cheekbones, sculpted features. The eyes, so blue and clear, filled with so much hate and despair. Those eyes were fixed on me, and I felt like I had suddenly become prey. The dark, naturally arched brows came together, forming a slight wrinkle between those magnificent eyes.

Knowing I was not wanted there, I pushed off the doorway and turned away, feeling my pulse racing in my veins. Keller instilled so much in me. She made me feel a fear I’d never known existed before. I had never been afraid of anything or anyone. Never known what it was like to watch my back, or watch everything I said or did. It was highly disconcerting.

At the same time, however, I was filled with a compassion I also had never known existed. I was terrified of the things I had seen and heard over the weeks, things that only existed in the nightmarish imaginations of filmmakers and writers. These were things that did not exist in ‘normal’ life. Things I had never given a second thought to. Things that I knew were out there, hearing about them once in a awhile in the news, but it was so far removed from me I never gave it a second thought. Had never seen the true essence of evil, until Al Mitchum. Had no idea that it really was out there, watching, waiting, warping.

A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of what Keller had endured. This realization was the only thing that had stopped me from kicking her ass over and over. When I couldn’t keep the word ungrateful out of my head, I tried to imagine, if even just for a moment, what she’d been through, seen, done, had done to her, and I could push the urge down. For another day, at least.

When I looked into those big, bright blue eyes of Parker, I knew that what I was doing was worth it. When I’d only thought that the girls were going to stay for two weeks, I told myself that I could handle Keller’s rudeness. I could handle the glares, harshly spoken words or quite simply, my being ignored. But now, now that I was offering my home to her and her sister, offering my family, money and support, what was I getting in return? Yes, I knew this was a very selfish stance to take, but I am human. All humans do whatever it is they do for a reason. Even Mother Teresa. What was my payback? Where did I get to feel good about what I was doing?

Parker.

When I could see the little flash of dimple when she’d give me one of her smiles, small, but there. The wonder and awe in her eyes as she experienced something new. Something that I was able to give her, or show her, or bring to her. Even in just being able to see Keller’s weight balance out. Able to see those dark circles under her eyes disappear because she had good food and plenty of it. She had a good night’s rest, knowing that she didn’t have to worry about who would step out of her nightmares and into her bedroom.

I sighed as I laid in bed, the swirl of thoughts roaming my brain making me dizzy. I needed to sleep. Tomorrow brought on another day. Maybe, just maybe, it would be better.

*  *  *

Tugging the covers further over my shoulders, I turned onto my side, readjusting my body in the warm bed. Feeling myself slip back into deep sleep from the interruption of cold, I smacked my lips in anticipation.

Not to happen.

An eye popped open when I felt my sleeve being tugged, and I was surprised to see who it was. Parker stood at the side of my bed, sleep-tussled hair making me smile and pop open the other eye.

"Hey, kiddo. What’s up?" I blinked a few times, trying to get the sleepys out of my eyes. Parker only continued to look at me. Her eyes held a hint of sadness, which made me curious. "You okay?" She nodded, though only slight. Glancing at the clock, I saw that my alarm would be going off in about three minutes. Turning back to Parker, I was confused. "Where’s Keller?" Usually by now the janitor was getting her sister ready for the day.

Parker only tugged at my shirt again, taking a step back. I pushed the covers off me, immediately cringing as the cold, morning air hit my bare legs. Standing, I took her little hand that she held out to me, and was led to the bathroom. Once there, she handed me a brush and turned her back to me. Getting the hint, I began to brush it, all the while trying to listen for any signs that Keller was even there. I couldn’t imagine she’d allow me to do this if she were.

Leaving Parker to her dolls so I could get ready, I made a quick search of the house, not finding Keller anywhere. I was near panic-stricken when I found a note on the kitchen table. What was written on the note was not exactly what I had been expecting.

Take her. You can offer Parker far more than I ever could. I sign her over to you. Keller Mitchum

Struck, I picked up the yellow legal pad page, reading the short message over and over before tucking it into my pocket. What the hell?

*  *  *

I tapped the steering wheel, the truck hauntingly empty as I waited to turn down the road that would lead me to the hangar. Parker was safely tucked away at school, and my mind was on her older sister. Where was she? Where had she gone? Why?

Seeing the light turn green, I put the truck in gear, but then my eyes trailed over to the left. That road would lead me somewhere else entirely. That road would lead me to hell.

I flicked my turn signal, and to a cacophony of early morning commuters’ horns, I turned left.

The streets were as I remembered them – sullen, gray and filthy. The deeper into the neighborhood I got, the more rough they got. Young people lined the streets, their mingling breath coming in bursts of white. They talked, laughed, fought, and looked to be in the middle of some very illegal business deals.

I turned onto that same street, ratty-looking houses all around me. The furniture, torn and dirty, that lined the porches and sometimes dirt yards. The weeds, not nearly gone from the recent snow, which was now almost all melted. Curtains half closed over windows, giving them the appearance of sleepy eyes looking out at me.

The flocks of teenagers had disappeared, so now the street looked empty and deserted. Even the birds seemed to have gone elsewhere.

Pulling the truck to the curb, I cut the engine and looked out at the house before me. Yellow police tape had been erected across the porch, though it was no longer attached on one side. The end flung loosely in the wind, whipping the wooden rail that had once held it captive. I couldn’t tell if the tape had been cut or if the weather had simply been too much for it.

The ground was hard beneath my boots, crunching hardness from the harsh temperatures of the recent night. The sun was still hiding behind clouds. It would probably snow again later. Or maybe the sadness and devastation of the street around me made it so.

I slowly made my way inside, keeping an eye out for what, I didn’t know. The living room was as I remembered, though it was bitterly cold inside. No one had lived in the house since Mitchum had been arrested nearly eight weeks ago. Urine was still the strongest of all smells that permeated the room. I looked around, mindful of all the debris of broken furniture on the floor. There was a wadded up blanket in one corner, stained and old, the thread pulling. The TV remained silent in the corner, the green/gray screen reflecting my progress through the room. Mitchum’s old recliner held court before it, the old, worn material flat in places on the cushion. It almost looked as though a ghost still remained there.

I forged my way through the rest of the small room, eyeing the old Formica-covered table for four in the corner, the aluminum sides shiny, dented in places. An empty napkin holder remained in the center, a piece of notebook paper and pencil laid at one of the places, waiting for its user to return. Making my way into the kitchen, which was basically a little nook in the larger room, I saw a frying pan sitting on the stove top. The canary yellow stove was chipped in places, one knob completely missing.

The linoleum was warped and puckered in places, years of misuse and build up of dirt in the corners. Small burn marks marred the counter’s surface, a dirty spatula lay in the canary yellow sink. Moving on, I saw the staircase near the back of the room, leading up to near darkness.

The stairs made no noise under my feet, which surprised me. I figured it would sing at least nearly as loud as mine at home did. I smiled slightly at this comparison. At the top of the stairs was a small landing, a perfect hidey hole for a non-sleepy child to spy on the TV or goings on downstairs. I could imagine Parker playing there.

The landing led to about four more stairs, then a bedroom straight ahead. The shades were drawn, thus the darkness of the upstairs. I walked in, noting an immediate change. There were two twin beds, a table between them. I saw a broken lamp on the floor, assuming it had once been on that table. The beds were unmade, as though the sleepers had been interrupted. There was more police tape, once being crisscrossed over the door, now laying limply against the shag carpet.

The room was clean and bare, well would have been without all the debris from an obvious struggle. The carpet looked as though it had been vacuumed somewhat recently, tracks still visible in out of the way places where there was little to no traffic. A single dresser with four drawers leaned against one wall, a closet directly across on the opposite wall, the beds and door lining the other two.

At the foot of one of those beds, on the floor, against the white paint, I saw splatters. Red splatters. They were low to the ground, spreading out onto the carpet in places. The leg of the bed there was chipped, pieces of the wood laying around. More police tape. I knew in my heart that’s where Keller had lain as Al beat her that final time.

Tears sprang to my eyes and throat, and I had to look away, seeing the window above the small table between the beds. Wanting some fresh air, I walked over to it, pulling the shade up. About to snap the lock open, I stopped, my eyes falling to the backyard. It was a mess. Half of the yard was dirt at one time, the other what looked to be cement. The cement was torn up, chunks scattered about, some cinderblock size. In the middle of the piles of cement were holes in the dirt. From the height of the second floor window, there looked to be one larger hole, longer than it was wide, and not very deep.

There was a lone figure next to that hole.

Scurrying down the stairs, I made my way to the sliding glass doors, slowly pushing them open. Keller’s back was to me, her arms wrapped around her body again, just as it had been at the hangar the day before. She hugged herself, body shivering in the cold.

I stepped out into the yard, looking more closely at the cement that had obviously once been a single pad over half the yard, extending from the house. An extremely large patio, maybe?

Keller made no sound, nor move to stand as I walked over to her and looked down. Her body stiffened a little, and I knew she was aware of my presence. Standing this close, I looked over the girl’s head into the hole that she sat next to, the toe of her shoe touching the exposed earth.

My attention went back to the janitor. "You know, I think you really scared your little sister this morning. Not being there." I waited a heartbeat, nothing. "What’s this?" I took the folded legal pad paper out of my pocket. I held it out to her unseeing back.

"Take her," she said, her voice rough and raw, thick with spent emotion, as though she’d been crying.

"No."

"Why?" She looked back at me, and my breath caught. She was a mess, her face pale and splotchy, eyes red-rimmed and very puffy.

"Because you’ll regret it later," I said simply, tearing the sheet in six parts. Keller sat there, looking back toward the rest of the yard, silent for a moment. Her next words were so quiet, I barely heard her.

"Why did Frank sell the helicopter?"

Oh boy. "We had some bills to pay." I kept a wary eye on Keller’s back, clad only in a sweatshirt.

"What bills?" Her voice had gained no volume, but an edge was beginning to sharpen.

"Just bills, Keller. It’s not important."

"My bills?"

"Keller–"

"Just answer the fucking question." Her entire body was stiff now, like a tightly wound spring, waiting to jump out of its box. "Tell me the truth. Did Frank sell his helicopter to pay for my hospital bills?" She looked at me now, her eyes pinning me to the spot. I knew I couldn’t lie to her. I simply nodded.

Keller lowered her head, hands closing into fists as she took several deep breaths. I watched, almost as though watching a train wreck. I knew something was going to happen, I just had no idea what. I was almost holding my breath as I saw her stand, head still hanging. She dug her nails into the palms of her hands, fingers turning white at the pressure. Her breath came out from beneath that curtain of dark in white puffs, extra hot.

She walked toward me, and I took a step back, getting my defenses up. But, instead she walked past me toward the house. I watched in warped curiosity as she stood in front of the sliding glass doors, her reflection just as dark as she was. Then to my heart-racing surprise, she raised one of those clenched fists and smashed through the door with a yell that echoed throughout the still, morning air. The sound was awful, like a desperate, dying animal, caught in a trap of life’s making. It resonated not only through the trees, making whatever birds were left take flight, but echoed off my very bones.

Not even realizing that blood poured from her cut flesh, Keller pushed through the shattered glass, a growl deep in her throat, and went inside. I stayed where I was, transfixed and terrified. Then there was another crash, and the other door was smashed as one of the aluminum kitchen chairs was thrown through it. Startled, I took a step back. I could hear Keller’s cries of pain, heart pain, as she threw things around inside. The curtains were being flung aside by flying furniture, dishware that was sent to a crashing death, and anything else she could find.

I heard her scream, "I hate you! I hate you!" Crash. "You bastard! I hate you!" Crash, crash, bang. "I fucking hate you!"

Though the entire fit lasted maybe a minute, I felt drained. I waited as once again, silence reigned. I could hear my blood pounding in my ears as I listened, for what, I didn’t know. I waited a few heartbeats, then took a few unsteady steps. Peeking inside, past the shattered glass that crunched under my feet, past the furniture that lay at odd angles around the room, I saw Keller huddled in a corner. She looked just like a child trying to hide from the world.

I looked around at the destruction of the main room and kitchen of the house. I had to be careful where I walked, broken glass and dishes everywhere. The table was turned over, and the frying pan lay in a dented heap on the floor.

Making my way over to Keller, I realized that she was crying softly, face buried in her arms. I crouched down next to her, putting a tentative hand on her shoulder. She flinched away, which made me quickly remove my hand. She buried her face deeper, the sounds of her sobs muffled by the sweatshirt, which had blood on it from her hand. On my second attempt, she didn’t flinch, but she remained stiff to my touch. I didn’t care. She needed this whether she realized it or not. Slowly, but surely, I pulled on her shoulder until she was leaning against me. She buried her face in her hands, which were against my chest, and really cried. These were gut-wrenching, full body sobs. Years of pent-up pain and frustration, loss of control in anything that happened to her or her little sister. Years of having to be an adult when she should have been in the streets playing.

I let her cry as I cried along with her, my tears falling silently down my cheeks, a silent pledge of my caring and deep understanding of her pain. I stroked her long, dark hair, feeling her body make mine vibrate with the force of her sobs.

I have no idea how long we sat there. Probably not near as long as I thought, but long enough. Finally her sobs eased into whimpers, which in time became hiccups, which disappeared altogether. We sat in silence for a long time, neither of us sure what to say, if anything needed to be said at all. Finally she broke the silence.

"Why did you tear that up?"

"Because I don’t want it. Why did you give that to me?"

"I can’t do for her what you can. You can give her food, clothes, a place to stay, all the things I can’t seem to provide. One fucking person in the world I need to provide for besides myself, and I can’t even do it. "

"Keller, all that is just material. I’m Santa Claus. You give her security, familiarity, family, love, things I could never give her."

"Yeah, but what the fuck is that love and family going to do if she’s living on the fucking streets at five years old?" She lifted her head, pulling away slightly to look at me. Her eyes were even more of a startling blue from the upset, one side of her face painted a macabre vision with blood.

"Look, Keller, you’re 18 years old. Parker’s your sister, she shouldn’t have been your responsibility in the first place–" She cut me off.

"It doesn’t matter whether she should or should not be my responsibility. The fact is, she is. And I’m failing." She turned her face to the wall, blocking me from reading her emotions. Not that I could normally anyway.

"Keller." I spoke in what I hoped was a soothing voice, tough to do when I was arguing with her. "Honey, you’re not failing. Your little sister needs you, she loves you."

"She gave that picture to you. She went to you when she skinned her knee. She goes to you when she’s hungry. She doesn’t need me." I could hear her sadness, feel it pulsing off her body as much as when she had sobbed in my arms. "She wants you."

"Oh, honey." I wanted to grab her to me, rock her against me, make her pain and hurt fall away. "She doesn’t want me. Who does she follow from room to room? Who does she watch, every time you move? Who does she sleep with and go to with her nightmares? Who does she cuddle with and snuggle up to? Keller, she needs you. You provide comfort to a girl who I don’t think has had much. She goes to me when she’s hungry because I’ve given her food in the past. She goes to you when she wants comfort and love because you’ve always provided it. Don’t stop now. I know all too well what abandonment feels like, and I won’t let her go through that from you." Keller’s eyes narrowed.

"What do you know about abandonment?"

"Plenty." We stared into each others’ eyes, trying to see if the other was lying. Finally she looked away, and pulled totally away. Getting that this was my cue, I stood. To my surprise, I felt a hand on my arm. Looking down, I saw her good one placed just below my wrist. I looked into her face again.

"Thank you, Garrison." She looked into my eyes, and I saw the truth behind those words. I smiled and nodded.

"Come on. Let’s get that hand looked at."

PART 8

THE HOUSE WAS alive with activity. The girls ran around, making sure everything was in its place, clean and ready for guests. I was in the kitchen, putting the last touches on the food. Deciding the house was good to go, I had my very own cleanup crew behind me, waiting for me to make a mess.

I brought the turkey out of the oven, lifted the big bird from the pan, and immediately Keller took it to the sink, scraping all the burnt parts into the trash, then washed it, leaving it on the rack to dry. She waited for me to make another mess, and I had to grin at that.

"Here. You two be useful. Keller, take the green bean casserole, and Parker, take the rolls." I swore I heard a ‘yes ma’am’ as they scurried out of the kitchen. Parker’s tongue bounced back and forth between peeking out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated to licking her bottom lip at the smell of the fresh bread.

The table had been set by the duo earlier, me setting a place with my best china to model after. It looked great, all six places ready to go, complete with napkins, glasses, flatware, dinner plate, salad plate and handmade placemats that Parker had made with, well, her hands. You know, the kind where the hand is traced to form the turkey feathers and the thumb as the head? She drew on little feet and eyes and colored them bright, gaudy colors.

The dogs were currently locked upstairs in my bedroom. I did not need them sniffing around and knocking things over. Besides, they’d get all excited and jump all over everybody. Especially Parker. And though she had made friends with Roy, and he was her shadow, she was still wary sometimes.

"Okay, guys." I looked at them, Keller dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, Parker in pink corduroy overalls, they looked great. The doorbell rang, and my stomach rose. "Now, we talked about this." I looked from one to the other. "They’re just like family. You guys both know dad, Jerome and Gabe. There is absolutely no reason to be afraid." I smiled widely, both of them nodding.

I took the apron from around my waist, tossing it to the counter as I ran a hand through my hair. "Keller, make sure the fire is still going, please." I yelled as I hurried to the front door. Jerome stood on the other side, a smile and bouquet of flowers his only company.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Monk," he said, giving me a small kiss on the cheek. I gave him a one-armed hug.

"Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Jer. Come on in." I stepped back, allowing him to enter. He shivered, stomping the snow from his boots and cold from his bones. "Keller’s got a good fire going. Go warm up." He nodded, handing me the flowers. I accepted them with a smile, and put them in water at the center of the table.

I had never hosted such a holiday before, and certainly not for this many people. Usually dad, Jerome and I went out to eat, or had Hot Pockets. I wanted this year to be special. I seriously doubted that either of the Mitchum girls had ever had a true Thanksgiving before, and rarely did any of us get to eat so good.

It had been three weeks since Keller’s explosion at her old house. After that, I had taken her to the hospital, had the hand looked at and stitched, then had brought her back to my house, giving her some time alone. She had been silent during our entire time in the truck, which was not unusual, but it had been a different kind of quiet. This was not sullen and moody. It was sad, reflective and full of introspection. She had gotten so lost in her own thoughts that I’d had to call her name three times to get her to leave the truck.

I think, hope, that the janitor had been able to exorcise some demons that day. Say goodbye to some horrors, dead and buried. I know that is extremely optimistic, but with those two, I couldn’t help it. I believed in them, believed in the power of resilience. Something tells me we’ll never see that house again.

Things had changed somehow since that day. The hate and anger was still present in Keller’s eyes, but it didn’t seem to be so directed at me anymore. She was still quiet – I truly think that’s a part of her personality – but it seemed more out of watching the world around her and listening than anything else.

My attention was brought back to the here and now when I felt a little hand tug at the hem of my sweater. I looked down and saw a pair of clear blue eyes looking up at me.

"Hey, you." I smiled at Parker and she grinned back, revealing little, straight white teeth. Little kids’ teeth always reminded me of Chiclets – so white and square. She pointed toward the table, brows shooting up in hope. I leaned down and gave her a very light kiss on top of her head. This was a new move on my part, having bestowed her with one for the first time just last week. She always kind of looked at me strangely, but didn’t move away. "Soon, honey, I promise. Okay?" She nodded, though didn’t look thrilled. I knew she was hungry. That kid was always hungry, it seemed. I loved it. She even now had a little rounded belly, like so many five-and-a-half-year-olds who were healthy and, hopefully, relatively happy.

Dad barged through the door, the wind and snow coming in with him. He was muttering about the ice on the walk as he set down a bottle of wine.

"Hey, dad," I called from the dining room, where I was setting out more food. Keller had joined me, and together we had the middle of the large table covered with wonderful-smelling dishes, the steam all billowing up into the overhead light.

"Hi. Damn that smells good!" I heard him stomp his boots, then take his coat off, hanging it on the coat tree.

"Yeah? Well hopefully it tastes just as good." I walked over to him and gave him a hug. "Happy Thanksgiving, dad."

"Same to you, kid." He smiled, blue eyes twinkling. I had to smile, seeing that his leathery skin was freshly shaved, the wonderful musky smell of Old Spice filling my nose. I would forever equate that smell with dad. "Hey, Keller." He smiled at the janitor and she gave him a nod.

"Hi." She turned back to making sure all the napkins were folded just right.

"And hello to you, little one." He bent down to Parker’s eye level, trying not to get his feelings hurt when the kid took a step back toward me. She looked down, stealing glances from below her bangs. I put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Can you say hi, Parker?" I said, my voice soft. She looked up at me, and, seeing my smile and encouraging nod, turned back to dad. She raised a tiny hand and gave him a little wave, the kind where fingers are involved, and not the entire hand. Dad smiled and stood. Her job done, Parker pulled away from me and ran to Keller, who was going around the table, pouring everyone a glass of water. Without a word, nor missing a beat, she laid her hand on the girl’s shoulder.

"Hey, old fool." Jerome walked into the room, newly warmed, and slapped dad on the back. They were the best of friends.

"I wondered where you’d gone. Saw that old heap parked out there." Dad pointed with his thumb toward the front door.

"Watch it, Jersey," Jerome warned, using his nickname for dad. I had asked many times what it meant, or where it came from, but the only answer I’d ever get was ‘It’s a war thing, tell you when you’re older.’ Guess I had to be ninety first.

"Yeah? What are you gonna do?" Dad huffed, puffing his chest out. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"If I were twenty years younger, I’d kick your ass, old man." Jerome laughed, clapping him on the back again.

"Yeah, you and what army?" Dad laughed too.

"Him and this army of one," came a voice from behind us.

"Gabe!" I walked over to where he was unbundling himself, taking off his coat, scarf and gloves. He rubbed red hands together, blowing warm air on them.

"Smells good," he said, sniffing the air.

"It better. Happy Thanksgiving." I tucked my arm into his, and we walked to the dining room. Now that everyone was there, we could eat.

"Ditto." He gave me a kiss on my cheek. I grinned up at him. Dad and Jerome had already sat at the table, and Keller and Parker were standing nearby, not sure what to do.

"Hey," Gabe said to them, giving them both a winning smile. Keller eyed him and nodded in acknowledgement. Parker just stared.

"Sit down, guys. Lets eat," I told them. One more very wary look at Gabe from Keller, and she led Parker over to the chair where we’d already stacked her phone books. She helped the kid get settled before she sat down herself, including tucking a napkin bib-like into Parker’s shirt collar.

I took my seat at the other head of the table, dad sitting across me, and smiled at everyone. I was thrilled to have everyone that I cared so much about under my roof. I felt like a cheesy dork, my grin was so big. Jerome merely chuckled, tucking his napkin to his lap. I glared at him, then regained my smile.

"We don’t do the prayer thing in this house, but does anyone have anything they’d like to say before we eat?" I asked, looking around the table, meeting each person’s eyes.

Dad cleared his throat, drawing all attention on him. "I’d like to say first of all that I’m real glad Keller and Parker are here to join us this year." He smiled and raised his glass to the sisters. "Welcome and Happy Thanksgiving."

Keller looked down, slightly shy for a moment before raising her eyes to his. "Thank you," she said, very quiet. "Um, Happy Thanksgiving to you, too." Dad smiled and nodded, taking a sip.

"Good. Now that the mushy stuff is out of the way, let’s eat!" Dad said, pounding his fork on the table.

*  *  *

The men were enjoying themselves, telling stories and laughing at each other. Since I’d grown up with each and every one of them, I knew what they were talking about and could joke and laugh along. Keller and Parker, however, were not so privy to our private jokes.

Glancing over at them, I saw that Keller held her sister’s much smaller hand in hers under the table, gently rubbing her thumb over the soft back of Parker’s hand to soothe and calm her. The kid had also discovered that she could play in and make sculptures with mashed potatoes. She used her fork to push them this way and that on her plate, rolling over the little pile of peas, only to have a yellow lump with little green dots in it.

I tried to hide my smirk, wanting to tell her to quit it and eat the food, but didn’t have the heart. Besides, Keller beat me to it. She leaned down and said something very quietly into the little blonde’s ear. Parker nodded, then put a bite of food into her mouth. My gaze met the blue of the older Mitchum just for a moment, then Keller looked away. She tucked her spooked sister into a world of her making, making the kid smile and relax. She spoke quietly to Parker, her lips mere centimeters from the little blonde’s ear, making the small, even white teeth show and dimples wink.

I couldn’t keep the smile off my own face, watching those two. It was truly magic, the way they were together. I hoped that someday Keller would decide to have children of her own; she’d make a magnificent mother.

"Hello? Earth to Garrison."

Startled, my eyes darted to Gabe. "What?" He was grinning at me, that look of, ‘Yes, Monk, I know you’re a dork,’ right there on that handsome face.

"I said, are you going to put up a tree this year?"

"Oh, uh," I glanced over at the sisters again, watching as ever-so-slyly, Parker handed down a piece of turkey to her buddy, Roy. The smile returning to my face, I nodded. I saw dad looking at me, his blue eyes twinkling at my short stint of maternal pride that came from where, I don’t know.

"Good. The old farts said you didn’t bother last year," Gabe said, chewing heartily on a well-buttered roll. I shook my head, popping a piece of meat into my mouth.

"Nope. Sure didn’t. Wasn’t home that often."

"You going to get a real one?" Jerome asked, delicately cutting his bird. It always amazed me just how delicate the dark man’s movements were. He was a large man with huge, capable hands. But somehow they always seemed so gentle and soft.

"I don’t know." I turned to my charges. "Would you guys mind a real tree, or are you used to the fake kind?" Keller looked at me, utter confusion in her eyes for a moment.

"Uh," she looked down at her sister who was looking up at her, blonde brows drawn, "It doesn’t really matter, I guess. Whatever." Her eyes dropped to her plate and it hit me. They’d never had one.

"Then a real one it is." My mind was made up. We’d go out and get one in a couple weeks, and those girls would learn how to decorate one if it was the last thing they ever did. "It’s settled." My eyes drifted across the table to meet dad’s. He was smiling and nodded his approval. I smiled back.

*  *  *

Everyone was finished, and after my "I am not your damn slave" speech, the guys helped Keller and I clear the table and load the dishwasher. This gave everyone a chance to let their dinner settle, too. I brought out the pie!

"Who wants some?" I announced, carrying four pies to the dining room, one on each hand and each forearm. My high school waitressing days were showing. Dessert safely placed on the table, I looked down to see Parker standing at the edge, her eyes peeking over the edge, wide with wonder. If her mouth hadn’t been hidden by the tablecloth, I’d bet she was licking her lips in anticipation.

Keller set the tub of Cool Whip next to me on the table, and I looked up expectantly. Of course I had the usual orders for pumpkin pie from dad and Jerome. I’d expect nothing less. Gabe wanted cherry, and Keller apple. Now it was down to little Parker.

"What do you want, honey?" I asked, kneeling down to look into her eyes. She looked at me, then at the pies, not two feet away, then back at me. She reached a little hand out and pointed toward the pumpkin. Personally, I think it was because it was the closest. "Have you ever had pumpkin pie before, sweetie?" I asked, standing and starting to cut her a Parker-sized piece. She shook her head, blonde ringlets dancing about her head. "Well, you are in for a treat then, kiddo." I set her piece on a plate and topped it with whipped cream. Keller helped the kid onto her stack of phone books and we all waited, watching intently as she studied it, then smelled it, studied it again, then dug her fork into the soft, brown meat of the dessert.

Parker put the bite into her mouth, slowly letting the filling dissolve in the warmth of her saliva, softly smacking her lips together as the wonderful flavor burst onto her taste buds. A little of the white whipped cream slipped out of the corner of her mouth, the kid not caring a lick. Keller reached over and gently wiped it away with her napkin. Parker was entirely too intent on the taste sensations.

It seemed as if all of us leaned forward in our seats, wanting to see the final verdict. It happened slowly, starting with her eyes, which widened, the blue seeming even brighter than usual. It spread down her face, tiny nose wrinkling up as her lips curved into a smile, teeth beginning to show as her lips spread, goo oozing out between the neat rows. A small pink tongue flicked out to gather the runaway sweetness, and she dug in for more.

Releasing a pent-up breath of relief, I began tackling my own mammoth piece of pumpkin pie, my most favorite dessert in all the world.

*  *  *

The house was finally quiet, dad, Jerome and Gabe having left more than an hour ago. Parker had quickly fallen asleep on the couch, blue bear tucked neatly into her arms. Keller was in the den, trying her wings on the computer. I’d shown her how to use the internet, which to my utter amazement, she’d never laid a finger on. That was last week, and she had been enthralled ever since.

I set the book I’d been reading by the fire aside, and headed in there. Knocking softly on the door frame, blue eyes flicked up to look at me.

"Hey," I said, my voice soft.

"Hi." Hers was equally so.

"Some night, huh? Parker’s out cold in there." I nodded toward the living room with my head. She nodded. "Did you enjoy yourself?" Keller shrugged.

"It was okay."

"Listen, I know you aren’t into huge crowds or anything, but I was thinking that tomorrow, since there’s no school for Parker, and no work for us, that we’d head into Boston and do some Christmas shopping." I waited a beat, studying her face for any hidden reactions. When nothing was forthcoming, I continued. "We could maybe take in a museum or ice skating?" I raised my brows in question. "Get some lunch–"

"I don’t have any money," Keller said, her eyes falling to the screen before her, then down to her lap.

"I know, Keller. It’s okay. My treat. Traditionally the day after Thanksgiving is the biggest shopping day of the year, so I thought it might be fun. See all the decorations that are already up. I bet Parker would love it." I smiled, thinking of all I could show those two.

"If you want to take Parker then take her, Garrison. I can stay here."

"No." My reply was slightly louder than I’d intended it, but I was determined to not let the brunette’s stubborn pride get in the way of a fun day. "Either you come, too, or none of us go. You’re part of this little," I thought for a minute, unable to think of a word she’d like, "Whatever you want to call us. You deserve to have a good time, too."

Keller sighed, figuring she’d lose this battle. "Fine." My grin was huge.

"Thank you, Keller. We’ll have a good time, okay?" She nodded, though I could tell she was skeptical. "Well, I’m going to bed. You guys have a good sleep."

"You, too."

I turned to head out when I heard my name called softly. I looked over my shoulder and saw Keller chewing on her lip, eyes darting up to me, then looking away. "Happy Thanksgiving," she muttered, almost as if it had hurt her to say it. I smiled, appreciating the gesture.

"Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Keller." With that, I headed upstairs.

*  *  *

The sun was bright and warm, promising to make the chilled day comfortable and enjoyable. I steered the truck amongst the crazy drivers of Boston, narrowly dodging one accident after another. Two very wide-eyed sisters sat beside me, holding hands as they watched the cars whiz by.

Parker had never been out of Warwick, and Keller hadn’t been further than the little dinky town next door. She’d never been to Boston, and her wide-eyed wonder and awe was adorable.

Parker wiggled in the confines of her seatbelt, trying to get a better look at the tall buildings and mass numbers of people walking the streets and going in and out of businesses.

I decided while we were all fresh from a good night’s rest that we should start with shopping. Parking in the huge lot of a mall, I turned to Parker and Keller. "Okay guys, we’re here. Now, this place is huge, so Parker you hold on to one of us, okay?" She nodded, clasping Keller’s hand even tighter. I looked at the janitor. "You ready for this?" Keller looked out the windshield, seeing all the people bustling about, having the same idea as us. She nodded, taking it all in. "Okay. Here we go."

The mall was crazy busy already, and it was just after ten in the morning. The throngs would only grow as the day continued. Christmas decorations were everywhere, draped over anything that would stay still. Holiday music was piped into the enormous building, and the air was filled with excitement.

I’m not sure who looked more the five year old – Parker or Keller. Both had huge blue eyes, trying to take everything in. Keller had a death grip on her little sister’s hand, not letting the frightened child get more than a foot away from her actual body. They looked around, looking up as the building, which was several floors tall, soared up, decorations even hanging from the highest point. I always wondered how they got them up there.

I took them into nearly every store, letting them see just what was available to them, and trying to pay attention to anything that caught either of their eyes. Despite Keller’s usual carefully controlled countenance and reserve, not a whole lot escaped my watchful eyes that day. She wore her amazement on her sleeve, and I loved it. I took them into a toy shop, Parker nearly drooling all over herself at the wonder of the child’s play land. She was, however, frightened out of her gourd at the guy who was dressed in a Frosty the Snowman costume, his big, white, round body narrowly avoiding total disaster with cleverly stacked and organized end caps and displays. His big, black ‘coal’ eyes made the poor child press herself into Keller’s leg.

"It’s okay, honey," her big sister said, kneeling down. "It’s just some guy in a costume." She looked up at the giant snowball. "Watch." She raised her hand and waved, and Frosty waved back. "See?" She turned to her sister, who was still eyeing the fluff with cautious eyes, but also a spark of curiosity. Chewing on a finger, Parker raised a tentative hand in a tiny wave, the snowman returning it, mirroring her actions, even to how many times his fingers bent in wave. Parker gradually pulled away from the protection of her big sister and stood on her own two feet. She looked up at the costumed toy store employee, and removed her fingers from her mouth. She waved again, and so did he.

As I stood back, watching this from my place near a display of Matchbox cars, I smiled. The child, with only one of Keller’s hands on her shoulder, reached out and touched the white material of Frosty’s costume. Frosty was patient and let the child explore, little fingers wandering over the sparkly softness, brow slightly wrinkled as she concentrated on what she was doing. Often, blue eyes darted up to meet coal black, or to watch to see what Frosty’s hands were doing, and that they weren’t coming anywhere near her.

Keller whispered words of encouragement to her sister, rubbing her back in small circles once in a while. I think all three of us were caught in a world of awe, for three very different reasons. Parker was amazed that a character from a song could come to life; Keller amazed that her little sister was taking such a chance to explore, and me in awe of them both. I looked at them and saw a miracle.

*  *  *

Lunch was eaten at the Rainforest Café clear in Burlington, west of Boston. It was a pricey lunch, but I figured my shopping buddies would get a kick out of it.

Parker looked around her constantly, never wanting to sit still to eat her macaroni and cheese. Everything caught her eye, all the animals, brightly-colored plants and birds that stood at attention. A nearby elephant sprayed us slightly, making Parker grin.

Keller had looked at the menu, seen the prices, then looked up at me, worry etching her forehead. I held my hand up.

"Order what you want, Keller. No worries today." I stared into her eyes, challenging her to differ. "Okay?" Finally, after chewing on the inside of her cheek, to keep herself quiet I’m sure, she nodded.

After taking a tour of the restaurant, letting Parker see everything to her little heart’s desire, I decided it was time to go ice skating.

Asking the waitress, I found out where to go. Sherman Park was the place, and after a few wrong turns, we found it. There were people there, whirling around on the iced-over pond, or playing in the snow surrounding it. I led my crew to the little rental hut and paid our admission. I asked for skates for Parker and myself, then turned to Keller.

"What size do you wear, Keller?"

"I don’t want any," she said, sticking her hands into her pockets. I knew what this was – she didn’t want me to spend any more money on her. Guilt was starting to get to her, and irritate me.

"Keller, come on. The lady is waiting."

She shrugged, looking out at the other skaters. "I’ll watch and keep your stuff safe." She looked at me, her eyes hard. Sighing, I knew there was no winning here, and I didn’t want the day ruined. I nodded, paid for the two pairs, and we found a bench.

At first I was practically carrying the kid, curious eyes looking down at the ice as it passed by under my blades. She reached a gloved hand down, trying to touch it, though it was out of her grasp. I looked at her, stopping near the rail.

"Want to try it, Parker?" I asked, setting her little feet down onto the cold, hard ice. She looked down at it, fascinated, then at me. She nodded vigorously and I smiled. "Okay. Hold onto my hand." I stood, taking her hand in mine, and we pushed off, very slowly. Her skates wobbled, toes getting nearer and nearer each other until they almost touched and she almost tripped us both. I stood behind her, bent over her small body, both of her hands in mine. We went very slowly, riding the outside of the rink to stay out of traffic. Parker began to move her feet, and soon enough the little shit took to it like a fish to water. She was slow, but had spectacular balance for a five year old.

I didn’t dare let go of her hand, but she was basically doing it all on her own. I was grinning proudly at her, thinking her pink cheeks and nose were adorable. Her golden locks managed to escape from underneath the hat I’d put on her head. She looked like a little elf, the long, pointy tip of the hat reaching her mid-back.

On our third pass, I noticed that Keller was watching, looking rather wistful. She rested her chin on her palm, eyes never leaving us. I slowed us down and tossed something at her. She caught my wallet, looking at me with surprise and confusion.

"Go get some damn skates!" I called out as we started to go around again. She glared for only a moment, then was up and hurrying over to the skate rental place.

I did my damnedest not to laugh as Keller made her unbelievably unsteady way onto the ice. She walked on those blades like she was on her tippy toes, one very shaky step after another. I kept expecting her tongue to peek out in concentration as she stepped onto the ice, hand immediately going to the rail.

I let go of Parker’s hand, letting her wander in a small area free of guidance, and watched Keller trying to make her way over to us. I wanted to burst out laughing a few times when she nearly lost her balance and landed on her ass. She did, however, manage to gain it back, both hands shooting out to instinctively catch herself, should she fall. Her legs were wide, skates wobbly, much like a newborn calf trying to learn to walk. She glanced up to see how far she still had to go, then turned her attention back to her trek to get there.

Parker was also wobbly, but doing remarkably well. She was sure showing her sister up.

Finally Keller reached us, face red from the effort and breaths coming out in quick successions of white puffs.

"You okay?" I asked, trying to keep the smile off my face, but unsuccessful in my voice. She glared at me.

"Fine."

I bit my bottom lip to keep the mirth in. Parker made her way over to her sister, thrilled to see she’d joined us. She grabbed Keller’s hand, which almost made the janitor fall again. She caught herself, hand stuck to that railing like glue.

"Parker, why don’t you take your sister around." I grinned down at the five year old and Keller glared at me.

"Very funny, Miss Boitano."

I chuckled. "Why thank you. I take that as a compliment." I rather enjoyed watching the Olympic medallist.

Just to spite me, Keller took her sister’s hand, and they began a very slow, arduous lap around the rink. They stuck to the side, Parker constantly looking over at her big sister to make sure she was doing okay, seeming to sense Keller’s ice skating troubles.

I watched for a little bit, but figured they had it under control, so began my own laps. I loved the sport, even though I wasn’t spectacular at it. I could stay on two feet, but let’s just say that I wouldn’t be trying a Lutz anytime soon.

Eventually, when I’d look back at them, I’d see both their eyes twinkling, small smiles on their faces.

*  *  *

I think it was safe to say that the day was a success. Though sore, no one was seriously hurt, save for maybe Keller’s pride. She did eventually bite it, though not badly. She bruised her ego more than her body.

Parker was conked the entire drive home, and Keller had her head leaning against the window, eyes hooded as she watched the snowy landscape pass. It felt good. Damn good, like I’d done something right for a change.

I looked over at the sleeping Parker, head laying against Keller’s arm. The seatbelt was the only thing that kept her upright. I felt a surge of pride for some reason as I looked at them. Maybe a sense of satisfaction that I had given them a good day, or at least gave them some access to fun. I think even Keller had enjoyed herself at the rink, although whether her bruised knees would agree to that I don’t know.

Keller carried the tuckered kid into the house and tucked her into bed. It was late, and all of us were tired. I bid them a goodnight, then disappeared into the den. I had done some minor shopping for dad and the boys at the hangar, and Celeste, but now the real Santa Claus would come out.

I logged onto the internet and grabbed my credit card.

*  *  *

The boys were rowdy at the hangar, and I could see it was severely getting on Keller’s nerves. She already didn’t like Reggie. This was a known fact for anyone who saw them together. Reggie was a typical young guy who really liked women. He hit on them, but knew if he hit on Keller, he’d have certain parts of his anatomy rearranged by at least three people there at the hangar. So, he had to keep it to himself.

Keller worked well with Jerome, as he was a lot like dad. Very kind and patient. Reggie was loud, obnoxious and arrogant. Usually Keller waited until the afternoon to join Jerome, because by then either Reggie was gone for the day, or he was so busy with a project that he forgot to be an asshole.

However, today, since no one had been at the hangar since the janitor had cleaned it last, there was no reason for her to do it again. I told her to stick with Jerome all day, and told Jerome to keep the dog off her, should he suddenly become interested in the living.

Jerome caught up with me later in the day, once I’d come back from making a drop in Connecticut. I was in the office, unzipping my flight suit. Nearly jumping out of it at the unexpected visitor at the door, I put my hand to my chest.

"Goddamn, Jerome. Don’t sneak up on me like that." I looked at him with accusing eyes as he chuckled.

"Sorry. Guess the kid’s been teaching me something, too."

"Yeah, nice." I hung the suit up on the brass coat hook in the corner and looked at him. "What do you want now that you’ve taken three years from me?" Plopping down in the desk chair, I ran a hand through my hair and blew my bangs out of my eyes.

"I want to talk to you about Keller." He entered the office and closed the door behind him. Suddenly I was worried.

"Is she okay?"

"Oh yeah, she’s fine. Great. Listen, Monk," he sat down across from me, leaning forward in his chair, "I’m going to be straight up with you, Garrison. You’re wasting that kid’s time having her as the janitor."

"What?" Utterly confused, and feeling slightly irritated, I felt my defenses rising.

"She has so much talent and brains. You should see her out there." He pointed through the office window to the hangar beyond the short hall. "She picks up on things right quick, smart as a whip. She loves them planes. I see her in the mornings, rushing through all that cleaning so she can come help out."

I sat back in the chair, chewing this over and eyeing the mechanic. "What are you suggesting, Jerome?"

"I’m suggesting putting her on full-time mechanic duty. Yeah, she still has a lot of training left, and I’d be more than happy to provide it. If she could get herself certified, hell, she could have herself a career to feed her and Parker. It would give her a sense of pride, Monk." His dark eyes were bright as he pleaded Keller’s case. "You know I’m not going to be here forever, and you never know with Reggie. He talks big about leaving this place all the time. You’re going to need somebody you can trust when one of us leaves."

"And what about the cleaning stuff? If she’s following you around all day, who’s supposed to do that?"

"Kid, you and your dad need to talk that over. But that’s some raw talent just wasting away out there." We both looked out the window and saw dad showing Keller something on the Hercules. I watched her, watching how she listened intently to everything dad had to say, her head down with his in the electrical compartment. It was kind of cute, really.

Dad had unhooked something and held it up, explaining the different parts to her. I watched Keller’s fascination cross her face as she studied the clump of wires. I could almost hear the wheels turning from the office. I sighed.

"We can’t afford to keep three mechanic on here right now, plus a maintenance person, but I’ll tell you what," I looked at Jerome, as this would have to be through his help, too, "If you’re willing to work with her during your time off, I’m sure she’d jump at the opportunity." The dark man studied me for a moment, finger grazing his chin. He nodded.

"Okay. I’ll talk to her about it today."

"Great!" I smiled. "It’s settled."

*  *  *

"Hey, Keller." She looked up from the Plane and Pilot magazine she was reading as Parker colored.

"Hi. How was flying?" she asked, her voice soft.

"It was good. Thanks for asking." I dropped my coat on the couch. Having a Saturday flight in the morning, the sisters had been alone. "So did Jerome talk to you about working with him on the weekends?" I sat on the chair across from the couch. Keller fingered the glossy pages on her lap. She nodded. "And? Are you interested?"

Keller nodded. "Yes."

"Great! Okay." I swallowed. Hard. "Here’s the thing. Since you’ll be working a very different schedule than me, and the hangar is pretty far, and there may be times when you need to go somewhere else–" I swallowed again, taking a huge leap of faith. "I’m going to teach you how to drive." Keller looked at me as though I’d just swallowed a bug.

"I don’t have a car," she said, quite logically.

"I know. Follow me."

Keller tossed the magazine aside and stood. She followed me outside to the garage that was hidden behind the house. Turning the handle, I cursed the fact that I had yet to put an electric opener on the heavy, stubborn thing. Finally Keller helped me, and together we got the squeaky door up. Inside the old, musty space was a single object, covered in a white tarp.

"This was given to me by dad. It’s a 1965 Mercury Comet Caliente Convertible. This baby has all its original options – power brakes, manual steering, 289 Super Cyclone V8, 4 barrel carb, C4 Automatic, factory air conditioning, power top, rear seat belts, Chrome Dress Up package, and Cyclone hub caps." I grinned proudly at the candy-apple red car with the white rag top that I’d uncovered. I felt I was being watched and turned to see Keller staring at me.

"Huh?"

"Oh." I blushed, grinning sheepishly. "Sorry. I love cars." I cleared my throat. "Anyway, so we’ve got two cars. I figure this way, you’ll be able to go where you want, when you want. That kind of thing." I turned to her. "So? What do you say?"

Keller chewed on her lower lip, looking at the car, then at me. There was a small twinkle in her blue eyes that made my heart smile. She nodded. "Okay."

And so it was. I took her and Parker in the truck to an empty parking lot. I figured if Keller could drive the behemoth of a truck I had, she could drive anything. Plus, the truck did better in the snow, and I wanted something safe for her.

My charge watched intently as I showed her where everything was, me in the passenger seat with Parker sitting in the back seat of the double cab, watching between the bucket seats.

"Be careful with her at first. The clutch is very touchy," I instructed. Keller nodded.

"Okay." She had an intense look of concentration on her face, and I knew she was listening to me. She only managed to kill it three times before she got us going. It was slightly icy, but I figured it would be good for her to learn how to drive on it now instead of when she was alone later.

"Good," I complimented her when she managed to get the wheel under control after a slight fishtail. Keller, for her part, looked terrified, her eyes wide and face pale. I smiled. "It’s okay. You did really good." She glanced over at me, taking several deep breaths as she got the truck to a stop. She turned to look at her baby sister over her shoulder.

"You okay, Parker?" she asked the frightened little girl. The kid nodded, her eyes as wide as Keller’s. I reached back and patted her knee.

"It’s okay, honey." I smiled at the kid, and she nodded. Turning back to Keller, I asked, "You don’t have a driver’s license, right?" She shook her head. "Permit?" Again no. "Okay. I’ll take you down to the RMV and get you a book to study. You’ll have to take a test to get your permit, which means you can practice with me legally." Keller nodded.

"Okay."

"Then after six months, you can try for your license." Again she nodded. "Okay. Let’s take her around one more time."

"Okay." Keller revved the engine accidentally and glanced over at me. I tried to hide my grin, instead smiling encouragingly at her. The truck began to move again, and I subconsciously grabbed a hold of the ‘oh shit’ handle.

*  *  *

Driver’s book in hand, I grabbed the newspaper off the porch as I went inside. I could hear the alarm clock radio from upstairs, and Keller talking to Parker. The scent of fresh laundry filled the air, and I smiled, inhaling. I absolutely loved the smell of dryer sheets.

"I’m home, guys," I called up, looking through the small pile of mail as I headed into the kitchen. I heard little feet thudding down the stairs, then the feel of small arms wrapping around my leg briefly before it was gone. I looked up just in time to see the kitchen door swinging behind the little blue blur that was Parker.

"She hugged me." I grinned, unable to believe it. My heart swelled, and my chest puffed out a little. Tossing all the junk mail to the kitchen table and fingering the bills, which eventually also got tossed aside along with the paper, I walked back out into the hall and I called up. "You guys ready to go?" The music was turned off, and two pairs of feet thudded down the stairs. Just as I had requested, Keller and Parker were bundled up, ready to face the mid-December cold.

The sisters and dogs loaded into the truck, we headed off toward the Christmas tree lot. Finding a place to park the truck was interesting, as everyone had the same idea. Squeezing in next to another truck and a Honda, we all unloaded, Roy following Parker around happily, her big shadow. Tut led the way, his kingly head held high, tail high and proud.

Keller walked beside me, hands tucked into her pockets as we neared the fenced-off area of the lot.

"Keller, I was wondering something." She glanced over at me, giving me her attention. "I’d like to introduce Parker to Santa Claus, you know, the chimney, reindeer, the whole nine yards. Is that okay with you? Does she know who he is?"

Keller shook her head. "We didn’t have Christmas."

"I figured as much. Would it be alright with you, though?"

Keller sighed, breath coming out in white puffs, her cheeks already rosy. She looked at me as if to ask why I was asking her, though her eyes were clear and bright. "If you want to." She stopped us, a very brief hand to my arm. "Don’t disappoint her, Garrison. Either you do it all the way or not at all." She looked into my eyes. "Got it?" I nodded.

"I understand." I gave her the most reassuring smile I could, and we continued on.

The lot was filled with beautiful trees, just waiting to be taken home and decorated. Parker looked up at the huge things, eyes wide, not understanding why we were there. Keller took her by the hand, talking with her, asking which she’d rather have. The dogs followed us around, sniffing, tails wagging with gusto at the exciting experience of being in a new place full of new smells.

Families laughed together as they picked out their perfect tree and I saw what looked to be a new couple choosing their first tree together. It was a bitter-sweet day for me. Too often I wished I had someone like that to do this with, share it with. Dad wasn’t interested in the holidays anymore, so I didn’t bother. This year, though, Santa was definitely coming to the Davies house again.

My attention was brought back to the kid as she tugged on my hand. I looked down at her, and she began to point toward a huge, blue spruce. The thing must have been eight feet tall.

"You like that one?" I asked, kneeling down to look her in the eye. She grinned, nodding furiously, blonde ringlets bouncing around her shoulders. Her hair had really grown since she’d come. "That’s pretty tall, don’t you think?" She nodded again, a silly grin across her face. I looked up to see Keller’s eyes on the tree, hand shielding her eyes as she stared at the top. "What do you think, Keller?" She looked at me, then back up at the tree.

"It’s huge."

"It is. Think we can handle it?"

Keller shrugged her coat-enshrouded shoulders. "Maybe. Might have to saw off part of the top to get it into the house."

"No kidding." I stood again, trying to decide. I looked at the price tag and my eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. But one look down into that hopeful little face, and I had to do it. "Okay. We’ve found our tree, guys." I smiled at the sisters, receiving two very different looks from them. One elated, the other like I was nuts. You can guess which belonged to who.

*  *  *

I had already bought a whole truckload of decorations for this momentous event. This was good as the tree, which was tied into the truck bed, and over the cab of the truck, took up the entire thing. The guy at the lot had helped Keller and I get the thing into the bed, so I was awfully curious as to how we were going to get it out again, and into the house.

"Hey, Gar!"

I whipped around when I heard my name called. Gabe was walking across the street, where he’d parked his new/used Subaru, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans to ward off the cold.

"Good timing. Get your ass over here and help," I called out, untying the last rope from the truck. Keller looked over at my friend, eyeing him and pushing Parker behind her.

"It’s okay, Keller," I said. "He’s a good guy." She glanced at me, but I couldn’t read her expression behind the sunglasses. My old friend jogged the rest of the way, taking in the tree the entire time.

"My god. Did you raid the Redwoods of Oregon?" He smiled at Keller and Parker. "Hi." Parker sank further behind her sister’s legs, sticking her fingers in her mouth to suck on. Keller merely nodded in acknowledgement.

"I think so." I patted the trunk. "Help."

"You got it."

The three of us managed to drag the thing inside, only scraping the paint from one door frame. I was pleased. Gabe and Keller held the tree as I sawed a foot off the bottom of the trunk, then they held her as I got the tree stand underneath, full of water. Once she was standing straight, we all took a step back and admired our handy work.

"It’s a beaut." Gabe smiled, patting me on the back.

"Yup. Better be for what I paid for it." I grinned at him. "What are you doing here?’ He shrugged.

"Just bumming."

"How’s the new job going? Wait, before you answer," I turned to Keller, who was starting to pick up fallen pine needles from the floor. "Don’t worry about those, Keller. Which room do you and Parker want to decorate?" She looked at me, then shrugged.

"I didn’t know we were picking one."

"Sure are." I grinned, and she rolled her eyes.

"I don’t care."

"Difficult. Fine. How about the stairs and hallway?" Blue eyes gazed to the areas in question and she nodded.

"Okay."

"Great! Then we’ll all do the tree."

Keller was certainly less than thrilled, as I figured she saw it all as a waste of time. I, on the other hand, was determined.

Gabe helped me to put the yard decorations out, including the plastic Santa and Mrs. Claus with the light inside that lit them up as they waved to the passerby. He helped me to staple the outside lights to the roof, and wrapped them around the shrubs and trees in the front yard.

"Okay, let her rip!" I called from the mailbox, where I’d finished wrapping my last string of lights. Gabe, who was in the garage, plugged in the extension cord that all the strands of lights led to. The entire front of the house lit up, including a path down the driveway, around the tree planted there, two shrubs, and the mailbox.

"Damn," he whistled, coming out into the yard to look at our handiwork. "It looks like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation." Gabe grinned as I slugged him.

"It does not. It looks pretty."

"Pretty?" His dark eyes looked into mine. I glared.

"Yeah, pretty. Got a problem with that?’

"Nope. Uh unh, none at all." He raised his hands in supplication and I smiled.

"I didn’t think so."

Freezing our asses off, I decided to go in, and Gabe had to head out to work. I said my goodbyes, marveled at the front yard once more, then grabbed the newspaper as I went in.

My progress stopped as soon as I opened the front door. Parker was carefully hanging candy canes on the balustrade, little pink tongue sticking out in concentration. Silver and red tinsel hung from just about everything that would stand still, including the light fixture above the front entrance. Little gold, silver, blue and green balls hung from the tinsel, and several from the coat tree arms. A large green wreath was slung around the newel post, and a snoring Santa was set up on the small table by the stairs where the phone rested.

I covered my mouth, trying to keep my laughter in. I was thrilled that they had taken so much time, and had actually tried to make everything look so Christmassy.

Parker finished with the candy canes, then turned and grinned at me.

"You did such a good job, sweetie," I said, walking over to her and running my hand gently over her hair, smoothing it away from her face. "You need a hair cut." I noted, then heard Keller come down the stairs, an empty cardboard roll that once used to be wrapped with tinsel. "Looks great," I said, grinning. She gave me a ghost of a smile.

"You wanted decoration, you got it."

"Yes I did. Let me put this in the kitchen and we’ll start on the tree, kay?" I held up the newspaper. Keller nodded.

Unfolding the paper as I went, absently pushing the swinging door open with my shoulder, I slowed my pace, coming to a stop in the middle of the large room. The headline above the fold of the paper read: Man Charged With Second-Degree Murder in Death of Wife

I began to read the first part of the article:

Al Mitchum was arrested Sept. 12 on charges of child abuse, sexual assault on a minor, incest and second-degree murder of his wife, Trudy Mitchum.

I stopped reading, feeling my blood go cold. Putting the paper down on the table, I took several deep breaths. Glancing over my shoulder, as if I could see Keller and Parker through the door, I swallowed the lump of nervousness in my throat. Finally getting myself together, I walked back through it, finding the sisters rummaging through more Christmas decorations that had been brought into the living room next to the tree.

"Keller?" I said, nodding her over. She walked to me, and I ran a hand through my hair. "What’s with the charges against your dad?" I asked, my voice low. Keller’s face paled and she glanced back over at her sister.

"Can we talk about this later?" she asked, looking at me briefly before her eyes began to wander.

"Okay. But I want to know what’s going on." She nodded, then walked back over to Parker.

*  *  *

The tree decorating went well, Keller and I both putting on a happy face for Parker so she’d enjoy herself. I think both our minds, certainly mine, was on the talk that was about to come.

When I heard the knock on my bedroom door, I realized that the time was now.

"Come in." I put the book I’d been reading aside and glanced at the bedside clock. It was nearly ten, and I knew Parker was fast asleep. Keller poked her head in, looking around before her eyes landed on me. I’m not sure if she thought I wouldn’t be alone or what. "Hey," I said, my voice quiet in the small bedroom.

"Hi."

"Come on in." I pulled my stretched legs up so I was sitting cross-legged against the piled pillows at my headboard. Keller walked in, gently shutting the door behind her, then walked to the chair in the corner of the room. I wished she’d sit on the bed with me, but didn’t ask. I looked at her, waiting for her to tell me why she was there.

She took several breaths, then swallowed. "I told you that my mother was gone." She risked a glance up at me. I nodded, silent courage. "She is gone, but she didn’t leave us." She paused, seeming to get her thoughts in order. "Two years ago, that man came home from being out who knows where. My mother had been doing dishes, and Parker and I were upstairs. I think I was getting ready to give her a bath or something. We heard them start to fight, which wasn’t unusual at all. Al was always accusing her of sleeping around on him, saying that was why Parker had blonde hair when everyone else’s was brown. The idiot didn’t stop to think that his own grandfather was blonder than a damn surfer."

I smiled, but remained silent, though I found myself leaning forward just a bit.

"So, we snuck down the stairs to the landing, where we always listened, Parker in my lap as we watched. Lots of yelling, name calling, that kind of thing. She was a slut, and he was an ignorant asshole. I think both were fairly accurate. So, we see them standing by the glass doors near the kitchen, fighting, then he disappears into the kitchen for a second, comes back out, and whacks her in the head with the frying pan that had been drying."

I remembered that frying pan, laying in a dented heap after Keller had finished with it. I wondered if it was the same one.

"I was so stunned I barely remembered to cover Parker’s eyes. But I did, and he yelled at her again, even once she was on the floor, blood starting to turn the rug red under her head. I couldn’t stop watching." Keller’s eyes began to take a faraway glaze, no longer seeing the carpet in my bedroom, but instead her mother’s lifeless body. "I knew she was dead," she continued, her voice calm, but emotionless. "Her eyes were open, but he hit her again anyway. A horrible sound, like someone trying to punch a bell with a bare fist. Guess it kind of was. I made Parker leave, run up the stairs like a quiet bunny." She didn’t blink as she saw deeper and deeper back into her memories. "Suddenly he stopped, I guess realizing what he’d done. He cursed, then threw the pan aside. I was terrified he’d see me, so as quietly as I could, I scurried up the rest of the stairs to our bedroom."

I took several deep breaths, trying to keep my breathing under control. I had to wait to react until Keller was gone. She didn’t need to see my pity or sorrow.

"I expected to find Parker in bed, but she wasn’t. Nope. She was standing at the window, up in her tip toes, looking out into the backyard. Wondering what she was looking at, I looked, too. He was out there, in that dirt yard, shovel in hand. He was digging, throwing dirt behind him, deeper and deeper, bigger and bigger. God, it seemed he dug for days. And then he was done. He threw the shovel aside and went back inside. I wanted to pull Parker away from the window, terrified of what we’d see next, but I couldn’t move. I was transfixed." Keller’s voice got softer, making me lean forward even more. "Then he came out again, carrying something in one of those big, black garbage bags. Something long and limp. I couldn’t believe he’d been able to fit all of her in there. I imagine he’d had to improvise, breaking things to make her fit. He tied up the loose end at the top with one of those wire ties. I saw her hair, just a few strands of dark hair, sticking out of the bag, lit up by the light in the kitchen. That was all that was left."

I trembled, fear, anger, sorrow and endless sadness coursing through me. My eyes fell to my hands as they played together on the comforter, Keller’s soft voice seeming to lull me into a trance.

"He picked her up, her body so limp in his arms, and just kind of . . . dropped, I guess . . . the body into the hole, laying her flat to make sure she’d fit. But I’m sure he would have found a way to make her fit either way." She smiled, but there was no humor in that smile. No, that smile made me get the chills, made my heart turn to ice, pumping ice water through my veins. "He grabbed the shovel again, and began to dig into the pile he’d made, throwing it on top of her. Her hair was still sticking out of that bag, one of the last things I saw before he covered that, too. That was all that was left of her. Gone." She looked at me, her eyes like ice. "See? I told you she was gone."

"God," I whispered.

"The next day we had a brand new patio."

"Why did you not go to the police?" I grabbed a pillow, held it to me for comfort.

"He would have killed us. And even if he hadn’t, Parker would have been taken from me. I was a sixteen year old kid, and Parker was almost four."

I nodded in understanding. "So you’ve had to carry this inside you all this time?" She nodded and shrugged.

"That’s life."

"It shouldn’t be." A thought occurred to me. "Parker. Is that when she stopped speaking?"

"Yes."

"Oh. I’m so sorry, Keller." It felt stupid and inadequate, but I needed to say it. I wanted her to know, whether it meant anything or not. She looked at me, her face calm, the storm in those ocean eyes seeming to have settled. She said nothing, did nothing but stand.

"I’m tired." She headed the short distance to the door, hand on the knob. She turned to look at me over her shoulder. "Good night, Garrison."

"Night, Keller." Then she was gone.

PART 9

IN THE TWO WEEKS since I'd been told about Trudy Mitchum's murder, I'd had a lot of time to think about it, mull it over in my head. The more this sick and twisted family history was becoming unraveled, the more I understood why Keller was like she was. And the more I had to question my own sanity for getting involved.

All said, today was not the day to ponder such mysteries of life. It was Christmas Day, and would be a day that neither Keller or Parker would forget. I had no idea what either of their experiences with the holiday had been, or if they'd even had any, but that wasn't going to stop me.

They had seen some presents under the tree throughout the past couple of weeks, as they'd arrived via the UPS guy. I'd frantically wrapped them all after the sisters had gone to bed. Last night in the freezing snow, I had run out to the garage where I'd been hiding 'Santa's' stuff. Dragging it all in, trying to be as quiet as possible, I made sure I didn't have a couple of mice watching me from the stairs as I loaded up the rest of the living room and put gifts together.

How on earth did my parents have so much energy Christmas Day after staying up half the night doing this stuff? My respect level had gone up a whole notch.

Finally stumbling into bed after two in the morning, I'd made myself get up early so I could stand back and watch. I wasn't disappointed. Around seven-thirty I heard two sets of feet and muffled talking. Parker had been excited last night, not sure what exactly was happening. My guess was she had drug Keller out of a nice, warm bed to see what was to come, as I'd already revealed to her that it would be a special day.

I watched from the kitchen door as, hand in hand, they made their way down the stairs, still in footy pajamas and a pair of flannel pants and t-shirt, and into the living room. The tree lights were on, and the milk and cookies I'd told Parker to leave for Santa were gone. When the kid saw that, she turned to look at her big sister with curious wonder in her eyes.

"Look at that, Parker." Keller said, kneeling down next to the table where the crumb-littered plate was. "He ate them." Parker grinned, little dimples winking in the morning light.

As they stood and looked around, both looked utterly stunned. Where there had once been about twenty wrapped boxes of various sizes was now filled with even more, including a brand new battery-powered scooter for Keller and a doll house filled with miniature furniture for Parker. There was a beautiful stereo system set up and softly playing Christmas music in the corner with a red bow on top of the CD tray. There was a rocking horse made of wood looking at the duo, and a huge teddy bear waiting to be hugged.

"Whoa," Keller said, her voice but a whisper. She looked around, turning in a slow circle, not sure what to make of it all. Her eyes were huge, taking it all in, looking much like her five year old sister. Parker let go of Keller's hand and ran to the huge bear, wrapping her arms around his soft body. The bear was nearly as big as she was! She left him and went to the rocking horse, not sure what to do with it, but eyeing it anyway. It was, after all, just her size.

Keller, on the other hand, went over to the red scooter, looking it over, putting a tentative hand on the black seat, the rims on the twelve-inch wheels gleaming in the twinkling Christmas lights.

"Merry Christmas, you two," I said, deciding to finally make my presence known. Both looked up, Keller snatching her hand away from the scooter, even though it had her name written on a tag taped to the handlebar. I gave them a bright smile, my bunny slippers scraping against the wood floor.

"Where did this stuff come from?" Keller asked, looking around her again.

"Nowhere," I said, winking at her. She looked at me, a bit of childish surprise in her eyes.

"This is too much, Garrison."

"Never too much. You guys enjoy yourselves."

"Oh, um, Merry Christmas." She gave me a sheepish little grin, little being the operative word, but it was there. My smile grew.

"Thank you." I walked over to the couch, coffee cup in hand. "Come on, guys. Open them up." I indicated the wrapped presents, Tut jumping up to sit in my lap. Roy watched from a safe distance, not sure what to make of it all. They'd get theirs later. I had gotten us all a stocking to hang over the fireplace. They had yummy bones to chew on later.

Keller looked at Parker, and directed her to a spot near the tree. I watched as they began to open the gifts, one by one. Keller took her time, just like at her birthday, making sure not to rip anything, and saved the bows. Parker, on the other hand, just tore into the paper with a glee I'd never seen before. It was a cacophony of revelry that made me smile. Parker's eyes got a little wider with each new item she took out of the box or package. I was charmed beyond belief.

Soon, the room was filled with new clothes for both of them, which seemed to make Keller happy. She looked intently at all the CDs I'd gotten her to use on her stereo. I got her an assortment of different kinds of music, not sure what she liked to listen to. There was everything there from Pink Floyd to Barbra Streisand and everything in between. She also seemed to like the X-Box system I got her with the flying games. There were books to read, mostly dealing with flying and planes, but also some fiction.

It took nearly an hour for them to get through everything. When dad had sold the Bell, he'd done very well on the price, and he was not only able to pay off Keller's hospital bills, but also pay some debts at the hangar. I had tried to get him to pocket the leftover money, as it was his baby, but he insisted. So, with the money I'd saved each month on bills, I splurged on Keller and Parker. I wanted them to never forget this Christmas, as it may be the only one I had with them.

"Garrison,"

I look up at the sound of my name. I'd been so preoccupied with watching Parker and her dollhouse that I hadn't even seen Keller come toward me. She was standing there, bare toes playing with the braided rug beneath her feet.

"Yeah?"

"Um, it's not much, but we've got something for you, too." She avoided my eyes, which I'd gotten used to. It seemed the only time she ever met my gaze was when she was angry with me.

"Okay," I said quietly, truly touched. She turned and headed up the stairs, followed by a barking Tut. A few moments later, she re-entered, packages wrapped in plastic shopping bags in her hands.

"Merry Christmas." She handed one to me that was shaped very odd.

"Thank you." I smiled as I took it from her hands. Turning it this way and that, I had the feeling I knew what it was. Carefully removing the plastic bag, I smiled as a miniature of my baby came into view. The model of the Cessna was about ten inches tall and had a wing span of maybe a foot. The detail was prefect, even down to the color. My grin grew, and I aimed it up at her. "Thank you so much, Keller. This is wonderful." She nodded, looking shy and unsure.

"This is from Parker." She handed me two drawings. The first showed Keller, Parker and myself as stick figures standing in a row, all holding hands. The Parker figure was in the middle, hold both of our hands.

"Aww." I melted, then looked at the other one. It was another stick figure me, this time playing in the leaves. I looked up, seeing Parker's attention fully ensconced in the doll house and moving the furniture around. Standing, I looked at Keller. "This means a lot to me, Keller. It's a wonderful gift." She looked down, nodding.

"Glad you like it."

"Thank you." I rested a hand on her shoulder for just a moment. She glanced up, just briefly meeting my eyes, but I could tell she was pleased with my reaction. Next I went over to the kid and knelt down. "Thank you for the drawings, sweetie." I mussed her blonde curls and she grinned up at me. I gave her a small kiss on top of her head. "Okay, you two knuckleheads. Who's hungry?"

*  *  *

It was hard to keep Parker at the dinner table the day after Christmas. She had completely lost interest in the leftover turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls with butter and egg nog that she'd loved so much at Thanksgiving. Instead she kept looking over her shoulder, seeing all of her new toys and treasures waiting for her return by the tree.

"Parker," Keller said, leaning in to talk to the kid. "You need to eat." She pointed to the barely touched plate. Parker stuck out her bottom lip, but scooped up some potatoes, sulkily shoving them into her mouth.

I grinned and looked over at dad, who is also watching. He winked at me, then turned back to his own meal. He brought over gifts as well. A new set of tools for Keller, so she'd have her own when working with Jerome. He also brought offerings for Parker. She had nearly drooled, once dad left the room, at her new set of crayons and a whole assortment of coloring books. She had also licked her lips at the sight of the jar of licorice.

It was just the four of us today, Jerome having gone to his son's house, and Gabe visiting with friends and eating dinner at Tommy and Angel's house. It felt good, complete, like we were actually a family. I looked around the table and felt satisfied.

My satisfaction was interrupted with a knock at the door. Dad looked at me with narrowed eyes and I shrugged. Keller looked toward the door, and I could see the nerves beginning to bunch up. Was she afraid that Al was waiting on the porch? I smiled at the thought, though it certainly was a forced smile. What a way to ruin a day.

As I reached for the knob, I had to comfort myself with the knowledge that the bastard didn't know where I lived, and was still in jail. His preliminary hearing wasn't until Monday.

My eyes widened when the door opened, and I found myself wrapped in very soft, warm arms.

"Oh my god! What are you doing here?" I held Celeste at arms length, looking into her eyes. She smiled devilishly at me.

"Merry Christmas to you, too." She grinned.

"Oh, shit. Sorry. Merry Christmas." I gave her a full hug, closing my eyes with the pleasure of having her in my arms. She was not just a lover, but also one of my best friends. "Come on in. Are you hungry?"

"Starving!" she exclaimed, pulling her coat off and hanging it up on the coat tree. "I'm heading back tomorrow. I was around visiting the folks in Boston for Christmas. Smells wonderful in here." She looked around, as she'd never been in my house before. "I hope you don't mind the surprise," she said, eyeing me out of the corner of her eye.

"Of course not. I'm stunned, but happy." I smiled at her, leading her to the dining room.

"One of the great things about working at the airport. Great ticket deals." She winked at me and I chuckled.

"Dad, Keller, Parker, this is my friend, Celeste. She's flown here from New York to surprise me. Celeste, this is my dad and Keller and Parker." She nodded at everyone.

"I've sure heard a lot about all of you." She smiled at my family and sat next to dad, across from Keller. "Merry Christmas all."

"Merry Christmas, Celeste. Heard a lot about you, too," dad said, raising his brows. Keller only stared, and Parker played in her mashed potatoes, leaning slightly closer to her sister, unsure of this newcomer.

"What brings you to town?" dad asked, taking some more of the green bean casserole from the dish and handing it to our guest. Celeste took it with a smile and began to pile food on the plate I had grabbed her from the kitchen.

"Well, I had some extra miles, see I work at the airport, and wanted to say hello and Merry Christmas. I hope you all don't mind my interrupting your dinner." She looked around the table, seeing Keller's intense, wary eyes. "So, Keller, how do you like working for these two?" She pointed at me and dad with her fork.

"It's okay," Keller said, her voice quiet and unsure.

"Just okay? Jeesh. I figured it would be a hoot." I felt my breath catch at the smile she gave Keller. Celeste really was a beautiful woman. Keller, however, didn't seem near as enchanted as myself. I met dad's gaze across the table. He was worried, I could tell. How would Keller deal with this woman staying with us? I would have to talk with the janitor later and get her thoughts. If she was really uncomfortable with it, or Parker was, Celeste and I would stay in a hotel while she was here. Chances of her staying long were slim, anyway.

"Oh, uh, they're nice." She glanced at the redhead, then turned back to her own dinner.

I looked to Parker to see that she was only picking at her food now, not even taking a bite every ten minutes or so. She was finished.

"Parker, honey, if you want to go play go ahead. I think you're done." I smiled at the kid, who looked at Keller. With the nod of consent she saw there, she was up and out of her chair in record time.

"Parker, take your plate." Keller called to the excited five year old. Parker came back to the table and grabbed her plate and glass. She was in the kitchen for what must have been record time of putting a dish in the sink, and ran to the living room. I was partially afraid that I'd go into the kitchen and see the mess from her throwing it in there.

*  *  *

Celeste and dad were sitting at the table playing a game of cards. I could hear their laughter from inside the kitchen, where Keller and I worked on the dishes. She was washing and I was drying, working on pans that couldn't go into the dishwasher. She reached up, tucking a bit of hair behind her ear, leaving a sudsy smudge on the top of her ear. Chuckling, I gently reached up and wiped it away. When she looked at me to see what I was doing, I showed her the white fluff on my fingers.

"New fashion statement?" I asked with a raised brow, rinsing my fingers off in the rinse water. She smiled slightly.

"New shampoo."

"There you go. Washes your hair while you do the dishes instead of softens hands while you do the dishes?" She nodded. "Gee, I think you'd make a fortune with housewives who are running after a bazillion kids."

We were both quiet for a moment as we continued with our separate jobs. As I waited for the pans to pile up, I began to clean off the counters.

"Who is your friend?" Keller asked, to my surprise.

"I met her while doing a drop in the city about a year and a half ago. I go see her when I'm in the area. Is it okay with you if she stays for a day or two?" I whipped my towel around, letting it wrap itself around my wrist only to unwind when whipped the other way. Keller shook her head.

"It's your house."

"I know that, but you guys live here, too. If it will make you or Parker uncomfortable, we'll go stay in a hotel." I stepped back up beside her, rinsing the dishes she'd washed, then began to dry them.

"It's not necessary. We'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

Keller nodded. "Yep. Besides, I think me and Parker can find something to do to keep ourselves occupied while you guys visit." Her voice was quiet, but not unpleasant. In fact, I wondered if Keller could sing. Her voice was deep and rich.

"Okay." I was quiet for a moment as I began to stack dried pots under the cabinet. "You said Parker's birthday was in early January, right?" I glanced at her over my shoulder and she nodded. "I was thinking that maybe you and me could go shopping for it. I'd like to throw a party for her here, if that's okay with you. You know, maybe invite some friends from school and her teacher. Didn't you say she really liked Mrs. Romero?"

"Yeah, she does." Keller looked at me, sizing me up. "Why do you want to do that?"

"Because you only turn six once." I grinned. Keller obviously thought I was full of shit. "Okay, okay. I just want her to have a good birthday. I don't know how long you guys will be here, so I want to make the most of the time we've got." She sighed, shoulders rising and falling.

"Okay."

"Great!" I beamed, running more hot water into the rinse water. I glanced over, seeing Keller's hand as she ran the rag over the surface of a glass dish. The injury from her punching the glass door was still very evident. The cut marks that ran all along the back of the hand were not as angry and red as they had once been, but were still very much there. "How's your hand?" Keller quickly shoved it into the water, the suds effectively hiding it.

"It's fine."

"Are you sure? Does it still ache? How are the stitches doing? Do you-"

"Garrison." My concerned rambling stopped at the sound of her voice, and my name. I looked at her.

"Yeah?"

Keller grinned slightly, her eyes filled with amusement. "I'm fine." She looked me in the eye to make sure I got her message.

"Okay," I gave her a sheepish glance. "Sorry." She shook her head, then returned to her dishes.

*  *  *

Keller disappeared into the bedroom with Parker, ready to rearrange all the furniture in Parker's dollhouse. Almost as soon as their door closed, I heard one of Keller's CDs start to crank up. I think she'd already gone through about six of those suckers, and she just got the stereo yesterday!

Celeste and I disappeared into my bedroom. I was careful with how I was with her around Keller and Parker. Especially Keller. We had never discussed my sexual orientation, and I had no idea how it would go over with her. I didn't want Keller to feel uncomfortable around Celeste or me, or anyone else I may end up dating. I figured at some point she and I would have to have a talk about it, but tonight was not the time.

"I missed you," Celeste said, pulling me into her arms as soon as the door was closed, me against it.

"I missed you, too." My eyes closed as her lips descended upon mine. I kissed her back, my fingers tangling in her hair, keeping my moans quiet. She did the same. In record time, our clothes littered the bedroom floor, and we made our way over to the bed.

Release was quick and powerful, taking us both by surprise. We lay there, a tangle of arms and legs, both breathing heavily.

"Your dad is a great guy," she said, looking over at me.

"Yeah, he is." I rested my arm over my forehead, staring up at the ceiling fan.

"I wish my dad were more like him." She took a deep breath, looking down at our naked bodies. She trailed a finger over my ribcage, making me squirm. I glared at her.

"Tickle me and die."

She chuckled, abandoning any big ideas she may have had. We were both too tired for such activity.

"She's really beautiful," Celeste said, rolling over onto her stomach, breasts pressed into the mattress. I loved the roundness of a woman's breast, the sides of it. I traced a fingertip over the smooth skin.

"Who?" I asked absently, my complete attention on what my skin was touching.

"Keller. A little skinny, but beautiful nonetheless."

"Yeah, she is I guess. And if you think she's skinny now, you should have seen her when she first got here. My god. She looked like one of those kids in Ethiopia or something. It was horrible."

"I don't think I've ever seen eyes that color before. Very striking."

"Yeah, they are. I remember the first time I saw them. See, she always wears these damn sunglasses. But when she had them off one day, wow," I whistled between my teeth. "Gorgeous."

"I'm sure once she finishes filling out, she'll have them beating down her door."

I laughed at that. "Yeah, that won't happen. She wouldn't let it. You ought to see her with my mechanic, Reggie. He's this young guy, like twenty-five or something, and a typical guy, you know? Hits on anything with tits?" Celeste nodded with a grin. "She has to constantly put him in his place. He used to hit on me all the time, but his eyes seemed to have moved on to Keller. I'm just waiting for the day she cracks him one in the balls."

We both giggled, and Celeste yawned.

"I need to get some sleep." She rubbed at her eyes and looked at me. "Do you want me to go?" I studied her for a moment, trying to decide what would be best. I sighed and nodded.

"There's a spare bedroom up here. Would you mind terribly?" Celeste shook her head.

"I understand." She gave me one last, lingering kiss, then stood, stretching. I admired her long, lean body as she did. She pulled her clothes on, then quietly headed to the bedroom down the hall.

*  *  *

Morning broke through the window and hit me straight in the eyes. It blared through my closed lids, making me start with the intensity. Groaning my protest, I turned over, my back to the morning. I realized I was sore from my most energetic encounter with Celeste the night before, but was a happy girl all the same.

Smile on my face, I turned to my back and stretched, squeaking in the process. It was early, but I was awake and ready to roll.

I heard someone roaming around downstairs and figured it was Celeste. She had an early flight, so I figured I'd make her breakfast.

"Morning," I said, startling the redhead, who was gathering her luggage by the front door. She turned around with a smile.

"Morning yourself." She walked over to me and gave me a very soft kiss on the lips.

"Hungry?"

"Extremely." She followed me into the kitchen where she perched on the edge of a chair, watching me. "You're house is beautiful," she said, looking around the sunny yellow kitchen.

"Thank you. I'm afraid I can't take full credit for it, though." I glanced at her over my shoulder as I beat some eggs.

"Belonged to your folks first, right?"

"Yep. I was basically raised in this house." I grabbed a pan and stuck it on the stovetop. I poured some milk into the eggs and added a bit of cheese, then poured it all onto the sizzling pan.

"Man, by time I was ten, we'd already lived in three different houses."

I scrunched up my nose. "That must have sucked."

"It did. But what can you do?"

Eggs finished, I threw some bread into the toaster, and got out butter, jelly, milk and juice. Celeste made quick time with the food, as she had to catch her plane. I offered to give her a ride to the airport, but she insisted on taking a cab. Once the yellow car arrived, I walked her out to the front porch, and wrapped her in a warm hug.

"Be safe," I said into her ear, and she nodded.

"I will. Good luck with everything, Garrison," she said, brushing some hair from my eyes. "And get a damn haircut." I chuckled and nodded dutifully, though we both knew it would never happen. I leaned forward and she met me halfway. The kiss wasn't long, but it was deep, leaving me breathless. "See you later," she said against my lips, then headed down the steps to her awaiting cab, a suitcase in either hand. I watched until the cab had pulled away from the curb, then went inside, rubbing my chilled skin on the way.

Keller was in the kitchen, rummaging through the cereal cabinet. Her back was to me, her long, dark hair a mess. I smiled at the picture it made.

"Good morning, Keller." She didn't answer right away, but finally muttered a like response.

"Hungry? I can make you some eggs-"

"I'm fine." She filled her bowl with Life, added milk and a spoon, then walked past me to the table. I drew my brows, but said nothing. Someone had obviously woken up very pissy.

I turned to leave the kitchen, but stopped. "Listen, I figure since Parker starts school next week, we could go shopping then for her birthday. Sound good?" She nodded, but did not look up as she read the back of the cereal box. Oookay. "Well, I'm going to go shower."

"Kay."

Shaking my head, hating bad mooders, I went upstairs.

*  *  *

The drive to the mall was silent, and I had no idea why. Over the past few days, Keller had been unusually quiet, almost like it had been in the beginning. I thought we'd gotten past all this shit. She sat in the truck's passenger seat, almost hugging the damn door.

I glanced over at her from time to time.

"Keller? Are you okay?" I finally asked, not for the first time. She nodded, but said nothing, arms crossed over her chest. She wore her new leather jacket. When she had opened it Christmas morning, her face had lit up. It seemed as though she were rarely without it now. I thought it was cute.

I sighed, turning the radio up. Memories . . .

We found several different stores that had anything Parker would love. I let Keller pick out any and everything for the party. All the decorations, colors, anything that I knew she knew the kid would like. She chose party favors with rainbows on them. Nice and cheery. We got the little hats that attached with rubber bands under the chin. Noise makers, although I seriously doubted the sanity of that purchase, and matching plates, napkins and cups.

I had talked with Parker's teacher, and she agreed she would spread the word around her class and the children's parents to see who could come the following Saturday.

Keller took her time in finding things to get her sister for her sixth birthday. I stood back, watching as she compared prices, products, quality, everything. She wanted to make sure she got the very best for Parker.

As the day went on, however, Keller became even more quiet and distant. I was getting concerned. We were waiting for the guy to bring out the jungle gym to the truck, our breaths mingling in the cold, January air.

"Keller, what's wrong?" I decided the direct approach was going to have to do. I didn't want us to start spiraling down again into a world of misunderstandings and non-communication. I hated the two steps forward, three steps back, dance that seemed to plague us.

"Nothing," she said, looking out into the gray day.

"Bullshit." I turned to her, feeling myself getting angry now. "Look, Keller, if you want to continue with this fighting crap, go ahead. I, for one, want no part of it. If you've got a damn problem with me, then tell me." My hands were on my hips now, I meant business.

"Is this the truck?"

My head snapped around to see a guy standing there, the huge box loaded onto a dolly.

"Yeah." Yanking my keys out of my pocket, I stomped off toward the truck. I felt like a child, but I was so damned tired of these games. Keller followed behind, quiet.

The drive home was silent - me steaming, and Keller doing, well, whatever Keller does.

Unloading the heavy equipment wasn't much better. We spoke in order to tell the other person to move that way, or to slow down or speed up, but that was it. No talking, no laughter. I wanted this to be fun, but she would have none of it.

We began to take the cardboard box apart, setting pieces of the equipment aside, sorting. I glanced over at her from time to time, trying to find the best place to continue my rant.

Finally my irritation came out in a puff of white hot air, and I turned to my companion, hand again firmly on my hip.

"Okay, Keller. You're going to tell me what the hell is going on." She glared at me over her shoulder from opening the baggie containing instructions and hardware.

"I said 'nothing,'" she nearly yelled, taking me by surprise.

"Don't lie to me." My voice was low, warning. "Let's talk about this. Don't let it fester. If I did something, tell me."

Keller sighed, pushing her long hair back from her angular, very serious, face. She looked at me, those blue eyes of hers boring into me. She was ready for business, thus apparent by the set of her carved jaw and stiff body.

"When I was still in the hospital, and Parker was here with you," her voice was dangerous, reminding me of a panther ready to strike, "Did you ever do anything? Have you ever touched her when I wasn't around?"

"What?" I was stunned, my anger draining out of me from the sheer force of it.

"Have you?" she demanded. "Are you a predator, too?" Her voice rose with every word, the fire burning brighter. I felt the breath leave my body at the implication, and I slowly began to shake my head, denying such ugly accusations.

"Keller, where is this coming from?" I felt the sting behind my eyes, my blood beginning to run cold. Was she actually saying I was like, I did things like, I was anywhere in the same realm as Al Mitchum? My anger began to build in earnest again. "What in the hell are you talking about?! Are you dare asking if I've touched Parker inappropriately? Are you?" I took a step toward her, and she took one back.

"I saw you," she growled.

"Saw me do what? I have never done anything but be kind to that kid," I shouted, pointing toward the house, as if the kid in question were just inside. "I cannot believe you're accusing me of this!" I felt tears of anger and hurt begin to stream down my cheeks, which pissed me off even more.

"You were kissing Celeste!" she yelled back. "You're no different. I thought we were safe with you, a girl. But you're no better. You prey on girls, too!"

I stopped, my breath once again leaving me, traitorous in the cold air, slowly rising in the cold air only to disappear. I stared at her, feeling cold and profoundly sad.

"Keller . . ." I tried to speak, but my voice failed me. I swallowed and tried again. "Do you honestly think this? I am attracted to women, yes. I'm a lesbian, Keller, but do you really think I'd do something like that?" I gave her a pleading look, begging her to believe me. I was not the monster she was trying to claim I was. She looked at me, eyes hard. "Look at me and tell me you think I'd do that." I was open to her, she could read me like an airplane manual.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me that you're a predator, too? That we were not safe from you, either! Why didn't you tell me that we were better off where we were? That I wasn't safe? That Parker wasn't safe? Why, Garrison? Why?" The veins stood out in her neck as she shouted at me, her face red, eyes an electric blue.

"I never lied to you, Keller. Who I fuck or who I don't fuck is none of your business." My anger was definitely back now. "Goddamn, Keller! I know you've had shit for a life so far, but I didn't do it!" I smacked myself in the chest. "I'm not here to fuck you over or to molest Parker. Jesus!"

She just looked at me, her jaw working, the muscles tightening then relaxing, only to bunch up again. "Did you do that while Parker was in the house?" She stalked over to me, her face in mine. "How can you expose her to that!?"

I pushed away from her, glaring. "Let's get something straight right now, Keller." I gave her dangerous look right back. "This is my house. You live here, and you're very welcome here, but don't you ever try and tell me what I can or can't do in those walls. And for the record, we were very quiet and very private, kept behind locked doors. Got it?"

She lifted her chin, jaw set at my words. Her voice was quiet. "If you want us to go, we'll go. We'll go right now. I'll go in there and pack up both of our things, and then you can do whatever, or whoever you want to!" As she spoke, her voice got louder until she was yelling again, hands clenched at her sides. She began to storm off toward the house.

"Keller!" I rushed after her, grabbing her arm to swing her around. If looks could kill, they'd be burying me in the shoveled snow right now. She looked like she wanted to deck me. "Stop this. You know I want you guys here. I'm sorry if you were upset by what happened with Celeste, and the reason I didn't tell you I was a lesbian was because I didn't think there was any reason to. My sex life is none of your business, so why tell you? I'm not dating anyone; it's not like there's anyone that comes around here to introduce you to."

She only stared down at me, nostrils flaring with her heavy breathing. I released her arm, and she pulled it away.

"Now, are you going to help me get this thing set up or not?" I pointed toward the pieces of the jungle gym. She glanced at them, then at me, and gave a small nod.

I took several deep breaths as Keller walked past me and began to sort the stuff into some semblance of order. Meanwhile, I stood where I was, trying to get my emotions back under control so I wouldn't kill her before we got the thing set up.

*  *  *

It was finally the day, and Keller and I had been avoiding each other since our argument. Saturday - Parker's birthday. She had woken up that morning to see colorful banners draped all over the walls and over doorframes. Helium filled balloons were taped to the ceiling and bounced on strings tied to the railing and doorknobs. The dining room table was decorated with bright paper that read HAPPY BIRTHDAY in every color imaginable. A giant cake with Parker's name on it waited on the kitchen table, and I fired up the grill in the garage to make hamburgers and hotdogs.

When Parker came down the stairs that morning, she looked around, stunned, at the magical transformation of the house. She looked at everything with wide eyes and an open mouth.

"Happy birthday, kiddo." I smiled, kneeling in front of the little blonde and giving her a big hug. She grinned at me, little white, even teeth.

"Parker, come with me," Keller said, coming in from outside. She grabbed her sister's hand, eyeing me as she led her away. I was crushed, thinking we'd gotten past all this. With slumped shoulders and a very heavy heart, I headed into the kitchen to make sure everything was just perfect before all of our little guests arrived. The dogs began to bark like mad, and I began to hurry, figuring some had arrived early.

"Kiddo?" Dad called out as he walked into the house.

"Hey, pop. In the kitchen." Within a few moments, the door swung open, and he appeared with a grin on his face. "Hey, you even shaved. What's the special occasion?" I handed him a package of brightly colored paper cups and plates. "Take those to the table, please."

He pushed the door with his hip. "Well you know, don't want the little ones to think the big bad wolf is here." He made a claw with a hand, making me laugh. I was so glad dad was there. I needed someone on my side at the house.

I didn't see much of Keller and Parker until the kids began to arrive.

"What's the matter, kid?" dad asked, re-entering the kitchen, looking for more to grab. He didn't have to look long. I handed him a package of plastic silverware and napkins.

"Nothing," I muttered, not wanting to get into this again. He looked at me for a moment, then shrugged and headed out to deliver his goods.

The doorbell rang, and one by one, the guests began to arrive. We ended up with fifteen children all said, including Parker, and then the teacher, dad, Keller and myself, and a few parents. A full house and the party got started.

The kid was so stunned to see her classmates coming to the house. And then when Mrs. Albright got there, her eyes turned into saucers, and a smile broke out over her face. Parker's teacher - Trish, she requested - was in her mid-forties somewhere, and as sweet as they come. I could easily see why Parker was so smitten with her.

I darted from kid to kid, making sure they all had what they needed or wanted, making sure everyone had enough food and drink. Keller kept herself busy also, staying by Parker's side, teaching her how to play some of the simple games that were set up for the kids. Dad made himself useful as well, allowing himself to be blindfolded by a gaggle of six year olds, and given a stick to try and destroy the piñata. The children giggled as he swung blindly, making it theatrical and funny. I was utterly charmed.

At one point in the day, he came up to me with a wide grin.

"So, when are you giving me some grandkids?" We watched a small swarm of girls who were oohing and ahhing over a new doll one of them had brought.

"Yeah, right, dad." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, right. Silly me. Okay, let me think of how it goes." He pretended to be lost in thought for a moment, tapping his chin with a thick finger. "Not going to have kids until you're at least twenty-six, and then only if you're with someone who is willing to go through the unbearable torture and pain of giving birth. Did I miss anything?" He looked at me. I playfully smacked him on the arm.

"Nice, pops. Nope, you covered it all. I don't know. Maybe some day." I crossed my arms over my chest, watching the kids play and scream with each other. Even Parker seemed to be having a good time, though she still stuck to either Keller, myself or her teacher like glue. Even so, I saw her smile and join in on the games more than once.

Piñata busted, and all the candy picked up and either pocketed or creating a dentist's bill, the kids were getting tired. They had eaten their share and then some of hamburgers and hotdogs, chocolate cake and party treats. Kids were sitting in the laps of their parents, or sitting on the couch or chairs.

Every time I turned around, I noticed that Keller's eyes were on me, watching my interaction with the kids. Every time I touched one of them or got close. Every time I talked to one of them or helped them, she was watching. I almost felt as though I'd actually done something wrong, though I knew I hadn't.

She had nothing to say to me during the entire day, not good or bad. Just . . . nothing.

"So, I think this was a success," Dad said, coming into the kitchen. I had to laugh. He had finger-paint on his face, and looked like a six year old's masterpiece portrait of a pirate. A little, uneven mustache was painted above his lip, and a patch covered half his forehead. I smirked, jamming the trash level down into the large, black bag so I could get the rest of the dirty plates in there.

"Yeah, it was a success, wasn't it?"

"Those kids are fun." He plopped down into a kitchen chair, blowing out a breath.

"If I only had half of their energy,"

"You! Shit, try being an old man like me." He got up and looked at his artful face in the silver of the toaster. Grimacing at his own appearance, he sat down again. "It's going to be a bitch getting this stuff off."

"Sucks being a woman with makeup, doesn't it?" I grinned at him over my shoulder. He snorted.

"How would you know?" He groaned loudly as he pulled himself up from the chair, and moaned when his back popped. Adjusting his shoulders, he walked over to the sink and began to run some dish water to wash the pans I used for the burgers.

He was quiet for a long time, then glanced over at me, quickly turning his attention back to the sink.

"You know, Monk, I joke about things, but I want you to know that I am very proud of you. I couldn't be more so, even if you were an actual boy."

I met his smile and smiled back. It had been a running joke between us for years. He had once told me that I was more boy than any son he could have had.

"I mean, what you did here today," he pointed toward the door to the kitchen, indicating the children beyond. "Them kids out there, Keller and Parker, you're giving them a chance." He gave me a wonderful smile, full and bright, making the lines in his face spider web out around his mouth and eyes. "I couldn't have asked for a better kid. Your mom would be real proud of you."

"Oh. Jeez," I looked down, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with pride and gratitude. "I don't know what to say." I ran a hand through my hair. Suddenly I felt a large, warm hand on my shoulder. Looking over, I saw dad standing there, and he opened his arms for a rare hug. He wasn't much for physical affection. I hugged him back, and relished it, even though it lasted for mere seconds. "Thanks, dad."

"Anytime, kiddo." He gave me one last smile, then left the room. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face for the rest of the night. Keller's apathy be damned.

*  *  *

The light of day was very bright. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, and there was no snow predicted for the next week. Parker, a year older, was dropped at school, sporting some of the new clothes she'd gotten for her birthday the weekend before. She had a little extra pep to her step as she made her way up that long sidewalk to the brick building of her school.

The smile was basically glued to my lips. I thought she was the cutest thing since Gizmo the gremlin.

Now Keller, on the other hand, was anything but. She still had yet to say a word to me, save for a very quick and quiet thank you for Parker's birthday. For reasons unknown, I was still the enemy pedophile. It hurt. It hurt real bad, but I knew there was nothing I could do. I'd said my piece, now it was up to her.

We drove to the hangar, and I realized I missed her voice. Reaching for the dial of the truck's radio, I found a station and stopped when I recognized Avril Lavigne's voice. The song was "Nobody's Home."

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

As I listened to the lyrics, I glanced over at Keller, the words bringing her to mind.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah, oh.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside.. oh oh yeah.
She's lost inside, lost inside... oh oh yeah.

The song ended, but I kept hearing it in my head, the meaning behind the words, and how I could apply them to my own current situation. I thought about Keller, wondering what went through her head. What she thought of all this, and what had happened in her life thus far. Would she ever be willing to go to counseling? Would it even help her? She had so much pent up anger and trust issues, understandably.

How could she live her life so afraid all the time? Always looking over her shoulder, or that of Parker. That would have driven me insane years ago. Maybe that was the problem.

The day was fairly uneventful, save for dad's lazy ass not bothering to show up for his flight schedule for the week. I promised Jerome that Keller and I would drop it off to him on our way home.

*  *  *

"I'll be right back," I said as I opened the door to the truck. Keller nodded, fingers tapping along on her knee with the song on the radio. Hopping down from the tall Ford, I headed toward dad's small place. It was so evident that a man lived there; there were no flowers, the grass was neatly trimmed but militant in it's ordinariness. No frills or specialties in this place.

The front door was locked, but no worries. I grabbed the key from my key chain, shoving it into the stubborn lock. I'd leave the schedule on his kitchen table. The house was dark, all the drapes closed, shades drawn. It was quiet. Glancing over at the grandfather clock in the corner, I realized that it hadn't been wound, yet. He always did that on Tuesdays, so probably hadn't gotten to it yet today.

As my eyes adjusted to the dimness of the small room, I noticed that dad's bedroom door was closed, and my brows drew at that. Walking toward it, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whirled around and saw Keller standing there.

"What are you doing?" I asked, hand on my wildly beating heart.

"Mind if I check?" she asked, nodding toward the bedroom door. My brows drew deeper.

"What? Why?"

"Just-" She took a deep breath, and I could tell something was very wrong. My startlement quickly turned to suspicion. "Please." She looked me in the eye, and I could see in hers that she was serious. There was something very wrong.

"Alright," I said after a moment's hesitation. "Be my guest." I nodded toward the door, and Keller walked past me. Hand on the doorknob, she looked back at me, then opened the door. Dim light spread out from the room, and I knew that dad still had the shades drawn in his room as well.

Suddenly my heart was pounding in my chest, and my stomach was doing gold medal-worthy gymnastics. Taking a deep breath, I made my feet move in the direction of dad's bedroom. Just as I was about to reach the frame, Keller appeared. She stood in my way, filling the doorway, her face bleak. She looked at me for a moment, her eyes falling for just a second, then they were back on me. Without a word, but several nervous glances, she opened her arms.

I felt my world crumble. I fell into her, looking over her shoulder. I saw the outline of dad's body in the heavy covers, laying on his side, back to us. He was so still, not moving at all. Not even breathing.

Keller tentatively wrapped her arms around me at first, my forehead resting against her neck. I could feel her swallow, and the warmth of her flesh radiate through me. I also couldn't take my eyes off of dad. I kept willing him to move, to sit up, roll over, do something. Anything.

I pushed away from the janitor, trying to push past her.

"No!" she said through clenched teeth as she held me back, not letting me get past.

"I have to see him. I have to talk to him and make sure he's okay," I growled, clawing at the flesh of her hands as they tried to keep me at bay.

"No, Garrison. No! There's nothing you can do for him now!" Her rich voice echoed off the walls of the small house and my heart. I stopped my struggling, finally collapsing against her. It caught up to me now, and I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see it anymore; not wanting to believe it.

"No!" I screamed, the word forming in my heart and exploding through my mouth. I felt dizzy, I felt like I was dying. I felt like my heart had been split irreparably in two.

It was strange. There were no tears. Only a pounding that started at the very soul of who I was and slowly made its way outward. Through a daze, I felt that I was being led to dad's chair. I was sitting there, looking at everything and nothing, and somewhere I heard Keller's voice stop and start, like she was on the phone. Within a few moments someone else was there, who I later found out was the coroner of Warwick.

Soft hands were on my shoulder, bringing me from my dream world.

"Come on, Garrison," said the soft voice in my ear and suddenly I was on my feet, and we were heading outside into the warm afternoon. I remember seeing the sun so clearly in the sky. It was bright, its rays intense and hurting my eyes.

Had I realized it at the time, I would have yelled at Keller for driving the truck all the way to my house without a license, but desperate measures . . .

Somewhere in my hazy brain I remembered the coroner talking with Keller, saying something about a possible heart attack, and further investigation, and Brams Funeral Home.

We were suddenly home, and I was being steered to sit on the couch. I nodded dumbly, not entirely sure what I'd just agreed to. I didn't care. Some ruffling of papers in the other room, then Keller's voice again, a quiet hum in my addled brain.

"Jerome? This is Keller." The voice got quieter and quieter until it was just that hum. As I sat on my couch, which felt so foreign to me, listening to the gentle, soft timbre of Keller's muffled words, I felt something happen. My heart did, in fact split open, and the contents welled up in my chest, spreading to sting my eyes and leak onto my cheek, then another and another and another.

Suddenly my entire body was convulsing as the tears continued, making the skin cold and tight. I pulled myself up into a little ball in the corner of the couch, trying to protect myself from the hurt and the world. Head on my drawn knees, I cried like I've never cried before. There was a pain searing through me, tearing my soul into shreds, that I had no idea how to deal with. It was nearly suffocation in its intensity, making my body shake with each sob.

"Don't cry."

Somewhere in the back of my mind I heard the sweetest little voice say this. I sniffled, trying to choke back my tears for a moment. I opened my eyes, and through the curtain of moisture, I saw the face of an angel. Her blonde ringlets were all around her head, into her eyes. She looked at me with large, innocent blue eyes, her small hand placed on my shoe.

"What?" I choked out, not sure I'd heard right, if at all.

"Don't cry, Garrison," she said, so soft and child-like, her very high voice sweeter than any sugar. "It's okay. Don't cry." She patted my shoe, and I looked at her in wonder, tears momentarily forgotten.

"You spoke," I whispered.

"Don't cry," she whispered back. I gathered the little girl into my lap, burying my face into her fragrant hair, and cried anyway.

PART 10

THE NUMBNESS WAS spreading like a wildfire. It started in my head, moving slowly down my neck and on into the rest of my body, limb from limb. I sat huddled in the corner of the couch, Parker having climbed off my lap long ago. She sat quietly on the floor, playing with one of the new toys she’d gotten for her birthday. Gone was her sweet voice, but at least I knew it was there. I could hear it reverberating in my head, helping to calm me.

Also, I could hear not just Keller’s voice in the house, but Jerome’s. They were talking, though I had no idea when he’d arrived, or how long he’d been there. I only heard bits and pieces. Arrangements. Cemetery. Pre-paid plot. Lawyer. How’s Monk?

Monk was dying inside. She was alone, and felt the acuteness of that fact. Felt it to the morrow of my bones. I rested my forehead to my drawn knees, the tears once again streaming down my cheeks to bleed into the denim of my jeans. I hurt.

"Honey," a soft voice said from beside me. When had Jerome gotten there? I lifted my head to look into the dark, concerned, and deeply sad eyes of my family’s oldest friend. "How are you, honey?" He rested a large hand on my shoulder, thumb gently rubbing back and forth. I shrugged, not sure what to say. "Garrison, I need to ask you some really tough questions. Okay?"

"Yeah," I whispered, dropping my head again.

"Okay. Uh, now do you think Frank would want to be buried or cremated?" I had never heard Jerome’s voice so soft before. Almost like a lullaby. But as the words he was asking sunk into my brain, my head snapped up again.

"You’re not burning my dad!" I yelled, startling the poor man. I felt like a child, scared and unsure. Fresh tears began to flow at the thought and mental image of dad being burned alive. But then again, he wasn’t alive. "Oh, god," I sobbed, burying my face into Jerome’s chest. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in further, making shhhing sounds and whispering words of understanding in our shared grief.

"Okay, okay," he cooed. "We’ll take care of it, honey." He kissed the top of my head. The next thing I knew, there was a warm presence on the other side of me, sitting on the arm of the couch. I looked up and saw Keller sitting there, hands in her lap, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Jerome, the lady from the funeral home wants to talk to you."

"Okay." The darker man squeezed me, then gently pushed me away, looking into my eyes. "Honey, I have to go take a call right quick, but Keller will stay here with you, alright?" I nodded, amazed at just how bloodshot Jerome’s eyes were. "Good girl."

I felt myself being gently nudged to my right, and another set of arms met me. I could smell the scent of our detergent on Keller’s shirt, and feel the softness of it against my tear-stained face. I burrowed in, able to hear the strong heartbeat within. Parker quickly climbed up onto the couch. I was now flanked by the Mitchum sisters. Keller didn’t seem to know quite what to do, her hands resting on my shoulders. I buried my face even deeper, the silent tears salty on my tongue.

Eventually I felt myself falling asleep, eyelids getting so very heavy. I took a deep breath, letting it out in a long sigh, eyes firmly shut.

*  *  *

I don’t know how much time had passed, as day had quickly and quietly slipped into night. I felt soft warmth all around me and wondered where I was. My eyes slowly drifted open, and I realized I was in my bedroom, tucked in like a child. Tut and Roy laid on either side, providing their warmth and comfort.

I turned over onto my back, staring up at the ceiling of the darkened room. There was a heaviness inside me that wouldn’t go away. A profound sadness that would not die, nor would it ease. Closing my eyes, I allowed the tears to slip out, making lazy, tickling trails down the sides of my face, and pooling in my ears to make me shiver. I hated to cry. I pulled the covers up closer around my chin, wondering how I’d gotten up here.

It didn’t take long for that to be answered. The door to the bedroom slowly creaked open, and Jerome peeked his head in. His eyes scanned the room, trying to make something out in the darkness, the dim light from the hall’s night light barely illuminating anything. Finally he saw I was awake and looking at him.

"Hey, hon," he said, his voice a mere whisper.

"Hi," I said, my own voice raw and thick from so much emotion.

"How are you? Are you hungry?" He stepped inside, sitting at the foot of the bed and placing his hand over one of my covered feet. I shook my head.

"How long have I been up here?"

"About four hours. Did you sleep?"

"Just woke up."

"Good. Listen, I need to get going, but I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?" He paused, trying to find the right words. "Honey, what do you want to do with the hangar for now? I need to call Reggie and Penny."

"It’s closed."

"Okay. How long? I can make a sign, make some calls."

"Indefinitely." I stared out the window, seeing the street lights of the night beyond.

"Monk–"

"I said indefinitely, Jerome." I glared at him, challenging him to dispute this. Dad and I had built that hangar together, and the thought of doing it without him emptied me of any inspiration. My old friend sighed and nodded.

"You’re the boss. But know this, Garrison." He studied me for a long time, waiting until I met his eyes. Finally I did. "Frank wouldn’t want that." With that, he was gone.

I puffed out my bangs with a breath and reached down to absently pet my dogs. They were my link to the familiar and safe. They had been with me for years, and had known my pain and happiness. They understood me and loved me unconditionally.

My mind whirled in so many different directions. I saw images from memories I’d shared with dad. The times we went up for midnight runs, watching as the world lit up beneath us. I remembered every single good time we had. I remembered the way he used to smile at me, and how many private jokes we had. I remembered how proud of me he was.

This, of course, made my mind drift to Parker’s birthday party. He was so fun and carefree. I couldn’t remember another time in recent memory where he’d been such a big kid. He had seemed so full of life. I couldn’t keep the smile at bay, even through my tears. I actually chuckled out loud as I thought of that ridiculous face paint he’d allowed some kid to scrawl all over his face. God, he would have made such a wonderful grandfather.

The tears really came, now.

"I’m sorry, dad," I whispered to the dark room. "So sorry I couldn’t do it in time for you." I curled my body within itself, shaking the bed with the force of my sobs, I let my wounded heart pour out onto my pillow, nearly choking on the ferocity.

I cried myself to sleep.

*  *  *

I was pulled from the darkness by a sound. Starting, I peeked an eye open, only to close it again. Bright light slammed into it, making me squint even with my eyes tightly shut. The sound again. Knocking.

"What?" I called out, my voice horse from disuse. I rolled over, my back to the partially open curtains, tugging the covers over my head. I heard the door open, then quiet sneaker steps.

"Garrison?" It was Keller.

"What?" I asked again, snuggling into my cocoon.

She didn’t say anything, but I heard her enter, setting something down on the nightstand. "Sit up," she finally said, her voice soft.

"No."

"Sit up," she said again. Though still soft, her voice held a bit of authority. I peeked at her, seeing her bending over the tray she’d set on the nightstand. I smelled pancakes, and my stomach began to growl in anticipation. Traitor. I felt the covers being pulled from my body and allowed it. "Come on." Keller gently took me under the arms, and pulled me to a sitting position. Strong little shit.

"You don’t have to do this." I glanced up at her, then away. I’d been in bed since yesterday afternoon, and with a quick glance at the clock, knew it was nearly two in the afternoon.

"Do you want syrup?" she asked, ignoring my comment. She tapped the warmed pitcher, and I nodded. Pouring a liberal amount, knowing my penchant for very sweet hotcakes, she next squirted on the Reddi Whip. Sitting herself on the edge of the bed, Keller cut a bite and held the fork to my lips. I saw the no-nonsense look in her bright blue eyes, and suddenly felt how Parker must feel.

Wrapping my lips around the bite of food, I let the pancakes melt in my mouth, tasting the symphony of flavors as they touched my tongue.

"Thank you," I said around the bite, having to bring my fingers up to keep it all in. Trying to take the fork from her, I was surprised to have my hand slapped.

"Open," she said, bringing up another bite as I swallowed. I obliged.

"Where’s Parker?" I asked just before I took it, knowing that the kid was her little shadow.

"School. Here." She held up a glass of chocolate milk. I took it from her, drinking deeply. The rest of breakfast was eaten in silence until every last morsel was gone. That finished, Keller gathered up all the dishes and stuck them back on the tray.

"Thank you, Keller," I said, looking up at her. She stared down at me, looking into my eyes. I wondered what she saw there, because her own eyes softened and she looked away.

"You’re welcome." She picked the tray up and looked back at me. "Is there anything else you need?" I shook my head. "Okay. Um, well, see you." She left, and I smiled, burrowing into the covers once more. It was strange how comforting that was, to just forget the world outside existed, and bury your sorrows in the heavy blankets of the bed. I turned to my side, staring out the window, seeing the tops of the trees in the backyard. It was snowing again. How appropriate. The white flakes came down to litter the ground a dusty white, soon building until there was a layer of Oreo cream out there. That’s what I used to think snow was when I was really little. I thought I could go out there and scoop it up and eat it.

Still did, sometimes. If it was deep enough, the footprints would form, and the snow layer would keep around it. I remembered making snowmen out in it with mom and dad. Mom would complain about how cold it was within a half hour and scurry back inside, muttering about getting the hot chocolate ready for cold little girls. Dad would stay out with me for hours. Once we even built an airplane, all out of snow. We made a little cockpit, and he climbed in with me, head and shoulders hunched over in the tight space.

"Ready, co-pilot?" he said, glancing over at me, his gloved hand on the snow stick. I nodded my head vigorously, grin on my face.

"I’m ready, co-pilot."

"Here we go," he said, his voice loud as he made the engines roar to life with some clever sound effects. I tried to help, blowing raspberries to try and emulate his noises, instead blowing spit everywhere. That was the best I could do at eight.

We flew everywhere together that day. He took me over France, pointing out the Eiffel Tower that stood where the mulberry bush used to. He chimed Big Ben for me as we passed by, telling me what the huge hands said the time was. We even had to abandon ship when the plane began to falter, putting on our imaginary parachutes and sliding our imaginary goggles into place.

"Ready partner?" dad yelled over the howling wind that was coming in through the open door of the plane.

"Ready!" I called back, staring down into the white abyss, our jump zone.

"Go!" Dad jumped out of the plane, and landed in the deep snow with an ‘oomph’ as an excited little blonde landed on him. He wrapped me up in strong arms, made me feel safe. We had landed; I was safe and sound in the arms of my dad.

I smiled, shivering as a tear tickled the side of my nose.

"Oh, dad."

*  *  *

Saturday morning came with a knock on my bedroom door. I peeked my eye open.

"Yeah?" I croaked out, not wanting to move from my warm spot. The door opened, and I heard whispering. Looking over, Keller and Parker stood in the doorway, Keller leaning down to whisper into Parker’s ear.

"Go on," she said as she stood, giving the kid a gentle push toward the bed. Parker, blue bear in hand, chewed on her finger nervously as she walked toward me. I smiled instantly at seeing the little blonde.

"Hey, Parker," I said, sitting up a little, just enough to see her well over the mound of covers. She climbed onto the bed, handing me blue bear so she’d have both hands free. I took the toy and moved over, making room. She looked at me once before taking the bear and rolling over onto her side, facing me. She curled up into me, face tucked into my chest. I nearly cried all over again from the beauty of the act. "Sweet girl," I whispered, kissing her temple and wrapping my arms around her small body. When I looked up again, Keller was gone.

Parker wiggled her little body a bit, trying to get even warmer and more comfortable.

"Hey, little one. I’ve missed you," I said, combing my fingers through her curly locks. "You doing okay?" Her little face poked up, and she nodded. I playfully pinched her nose. "You talked." Again she nodded, though she looked confused as to why this was such a special event.

"Garrison," she said, her little voice clear and sweet.

"That’s right. Big name for a little girl to say." I smiled at her, she grinned back. "What have you done today?" She held up blue bear as if that should explain everything. "Did you play?" She grinned again, nodding her head. "Are you having fun?" She thought for a moment, then shook her head. "No?" I was filled concern.

"I want you to play," she said, lower lip bulging out in a pout.

"Me, huh?" I felt myself fill with warmth and love for this child in my arms. "You got it." I kissed her forehead. "Come on."

Though I absolutely did not want to, I made myself get out of bed. Parker was happy as a clam, and that made it worth it. I stank, but didn’t care. Lying around in the same clothes for two days will do that. I walked downstairs into a spotless wonderland. The wood shone and smelled of lemons, and there wasn’t a speck of dust on the floor or furniture.

Keller sat on the floor of the living room, working on one of the jigsaw puzzles she’d gotten for Christmas. When she heard us, she looked up. Parker ran over to her and gave her a huge hug. The kid seemed so happy to have us both in the same room with her. She grinned back at me, and reached for my hand, Keller’s still in the other. Holding both of our hands, she grinned from one to the other of us, and we both smiled back, my eyes meeting Keller’s briefly. I was grateful for everything she’d done.

*  *  *

"This is my kid! She’s a goddamn pilot now!" Dad looked at me with utter pride in his eyes. He had his arm wrapped around my shoulders, my brand new license, hot off the presses, firmly tucked into his hand. He was strutting around with me like I’d just discovered the cure for cancer. All his fighter pilot pals were there, slapping me on the back, welcoming me into the fold.

Never in all my sixteen years had I ever felt so proud and loved. Mom held a huge feast; all my favorite foods were represented. There was music from dad and his friends playing the in backyard, and my friends from school, including Gabe and Tommy, were there.

"Hey, kiddo." Dad found me later in the afternoon, and his arm, once again, came around my shoulders. "Let’s talk."

"Kay." I followed him inside the house, into the study. He closed the door, telling me to sit in one of the chairs in front of the desk, while he sat behind. I looked at him, buzzing from the excitement of the day, hardly able to stay still.

"Okay. Now you’re official. We both know you’ve been flying for years, but the law sees you as an honest-to-goodness pilot." His face split open again in a grin of pride and triumph. Mine matched it.

"Yeah."

"So, I was thinking about something." He paused, grabbing a cigarette from the pack he always kept in his shirt pocket. Lighting a Marlboro, he studied me through the smoke. "My load down at the hangar has been picking up quite a bit. Wanna help?"

I looked at him, my heart flipping in my chest. "What?"

"Wanna help? Wanna come work for me?"

"Do you mean it?" I was ready to bound out of my chair and jump across the desk if he was serious, or if he wasn’t, for that matter. He’d either get the hug of his life, or strangled for teasing me.

"Hell yes, I mean it."

Bounding done, dad found himself with an armful of grateful, excited teenager. He laughed at my display, trying to avoid the kisses being rained on his face.

"Okay, okay!" he exclaimed, hugging me tight. "Welcome, kiddo."

My heart was filled to near bursting as I opened my eyes, a smile on my face. I had never felt so much pride! I was going to work with dad! I would be able to hang out with him every day after school, and fly with him, and learn even more from him . . .

I looked around the dark room, the chill of the night moving in to freeze my heart. The room was empty, save for a ticking watch on the nightstand. Where was I? Where was dad?

The tears began a steady buildup as it all came back to me. They spilled over in record time, and a sob was torn from my throat. I curled myself around my damaged heart and let the floodgates overflow.

Somewhere in my crushed mind I felt the bed move as someone sat on it, and I was pulled into strong arms. Automatically, my fingers grabbed onto the softness of a shirt and clung as I cried. Tentative hands, soft fingertips, traipsed over my arm and shoulder, like a fluttering bee, not sure where to land. Finally those fingers landed on my shoulder, stroking the shirt-covered skin there.

My body heaved against my benefactor, who made no noise, only held me. I felt the soft, tickling trail of cool hair wash over my very heated face, making the muscles in my face twitch.

Finally my tears began to slow and finally stopped altogether, leaving me drained and with burning eyes.

"Would you rather I sent Parker in here?" Keller’s soft voice asked. I shook my head, resting it against her upper chest. She had pulled me into her lap, basically, cuddling me to her like she would her baby sister. She was also rocking me gently, bringing peace and calm to me.

I was quiet for a while, just reveling in the closeness of human contact. A balm to my soul.

"Keller?"

"Hmm?"

"How did you deal with the death of your mother?"

Keller sighed quietly as she thought of an answer. "It helped that she was already gone to me."

"What do you mean?" I snuggled in further, taking hold of Keller’s arm. She stiffened for a moment. "Want me to move?" Ready to bolt, I felt her shake her head.

"No. It’s okay." She cleared her throat, as if to back up those words with some self-made confidence, then continued. "The first four years of my life were good. Al worked for the railroad, he worked on the tracks, so was gone a lot. You know, they’d send him to different states and stuff." I nodded my understanding. "Me and mom would have a lot of time together. She used to laugh a lot. Make silly voices and stuff."

I smiled at the thought. Keller was quiet for a moment, and I thought that she wouldn’t continue with her story.

"Then he lost his job. He bad been an asshole before, mean and stuff, but nothing like that. When he lost his job, we had to move to that shithole. He became depressed. The more depressed he became, the more he drank. The more he drank, the more violent he got. If I really wanted to psychoanalyze the bastard, I’d say he started what he did because he felt he had no control over his life anymore."

I felt her swallow several times, and I was about to open my mouth to tell her she didn’t have to talk about it, when her soft, soothing voice began again.

"He started with saying nasty things to her. Telling her she was stupid, worthless, that kind of thing. He’d get so mad, I used to hide under the kitchen table. Amazing I was actually able to fit once upon a time." Another heavy sigh. "Then one night I knew I’d lost her."

"What happened?" I was breathless to know. I’d never heard so many words out of Keller’s mouth at one time. I would do anything to get her to continue.

"She lied for him." I began to softly rub the skin of her arm with my thumb. Again she stiffened, but soon I felt her actually forcibly make herself relax. I nearly stopped, but I wanted her to know I was there, too. "They had been fighting a lot. See, that was when she actually still fought back. Later, like the night she died, she used to just sit there and take it. Anyway, so they were screaming and yelling, and he was throwing things around, breaking them. The neighbors called the cops and they came. Mom answered the door, shiner covering her left eye, a bit of blood seeping from her mouth. I was hiding on the landing, watching, maybe about eight years old. He was hiding in the kitchen. Fucking coward." Her voice took a bitter turn. "The cop asked if everything was okay, and she told them she had fallen. He smiled in the kitchen. The fucker had won."

"Oh, Keller–"

"She gave up, and four years later, Parker came along. It gave me something to concentrate on, and live for."

"Wow," I breathed. How the hell had she lived through that? How did she have a shred of compassion left in her? "I’m really sorry, Keller."

"Don’t be. You didn’t do it."

"No. But you didn’t deserve any of that." Keller was quiet for long moments, then once again, her soft voice filled the room.

"What is it like? To be loved? By your parents, at least." Her voice trailed off at the end, and I figured she was slightly embarrassed at asking such a question.

"Do you really want to know?" I sat up, scooting back to lean against the headboard. I missed the soft warmth immediately, but my arm had started to fall asleep from leaning on it, against Keller’s body.

"Yes."

I sighed, trying to think of where to start. "It’s wonderful, to be honest. I was the center of their world, much like Parker is the center of yours. The loved each other, too, but I always felt loved. Always." I smiled at the thoughts and memories. It rattled me slightly to think just how radically different Keller’s and my memories actually were. "See, they got married back when dad was about to go off to the Korean War. They got married, and two days later, he shipped out. When he got back, they settled all over the place, because he was still in the military. They tried to have kids, but it never worked out. So, they finally got desperate enough to adopt. That’s where I come in."

"You’re adopted?" I could hear the shock in her voice and barely see it in her eyes in the dark, moon-streaked room.

"Yeah."

"I thought maybe Frank was your grandfather."

I smiled, but shook my head. "No. Dad was forty-four when they got me. I was a year old."

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Keller brought her knees up, wrapping her arms around her shins, and rested her chin on her knees. I shook my head.

"Nope. It was just always the three of us."

"Any cousins?" Again I shook my head.

"My dad’s sister, Aunt Evelyn, died young. She was only like forty or something, and she never had any kids. Mom was a lonely only, like me."

"Oh."

"It’s just me now, Keller."

"You have Jerome," she said. I sighed.

"Yeah, I suppose I do." Running a hand through my hair, I glanced out into the night. "I’m sorry I woke you up."

"Don’t worry about it. I hear Parker cry, too. It’s not a big deal. At first I thought it was her."

"Does she still cry?"

"Not as much as she used to." Keller shrugged, looking down at her bare feet.

"Good. I’m glad. Do you guys have any family? Other than Al, that is."

"No." Keller looked at me. "Do you want us to go, Garrison?" Her voice was quiet, afraid. I smiled and shook my head.

"Absolutely not. I was just curious."

Keller was quiet, chewing on her lip for a moment, staring down at her feet once more. "Listen, um, since you don’t have any other siblings and stuff, I just wanted you to know that you have one, now."

"What?" Confused, my brows fell. She chanced a quick look at me, then looked away again. She shrugged.

"Well, Parker seems to really like you, and she trusts you." She looked me in the eye. "You never did anything to her, right?"

"No, Keller. I’ve never touched her."

"She said that, too. So, if it’s true, then you can have her as your sister, too." She glanced at me sheepishly. I stared at her, feeling the sting of tears once again.

"Can I, may I, ah fuck it." I lunged at her and gave her a huge hug. Keller held on tight, but I knew it had nothing to do with hugging me back. She was just trying to not fall off the bed, and her utter shock alone at my action made her cling to me. The hug was quick, but tight, and filled with understanding. I wanted Keller to know I knew of the value of this gift she was giving me. I also noticed that she had not been included in that equation, but chose to leave it alone.

Finally pulling away, I apologized about my enthusiasm, and she nodded, looking down at her hands.

"Um, so are you okay now?" she asked, her voice quiet and unsure. I nodded.

"Yeah. Thank you. Uh, Keller," I swallowed deeply, not able to look at her, but I had to know. "Why did you get so upset with me? You know, the whole Celeste thing?" I glanced at her and saw the muscles in her jaw tighten.

"Al liked women. All of his friends liked women. So do you." She looked at me, her eyes hard. I was about to open my mouth to say something, but she continued. "I freaked. I didn’t know if what Al did was just what he did, or if it was because he liked women. His friends weren’t any better." She shuddered, and I wanted so badly to grab her in a comforting hug, but thought better of it. "I had felt safe with you because you were a woman, and as far as I knew, women only liked males. There was no threat."

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to find the words to make her feel better. "Honey, I do like women, I’m attracted to them. But that doesn’t mean that I want every woman I see. I have on interest in Parker that way, Keller. I love that little girl, but it’s not because she is a girl, Keller. It’s because she’s a great kid. And as for you, you’re safe, too. You’re a pretty girl, but," I wrinkled my nose, "you’re too difficult for my taste." I smiled widely to let her know I was teasing. She looked stunned for a moment, then realized the joke, and the ghost of a smile appeared. "Friends?" I held out my hand. Keller had been wonderful over the past couple of days and nights, but I knew it was because of . . . well, because of what had happened. She nodded and shook my hand. "Good."

We were both silent for a moment, then Keller suddenly stood, stretching. She’d been sitting in the same position for the last hour, and I figured she must be sore.

"So you’re okay?" she asked, looking down at me. I nodded.

"I’ll live another night." I managed a small smile, though I didn’t mean it. She nodded and started to walk away. I reached out, catching her arm. "Keller–" She stopped, looked at me. "Thank you."

"You’re welcome." With that, she was gone. I lay there for awhile, thinking about the last hour I’d spent with the girl. She had been so kind and sweet by coming in to comfort me. Again, I had to wonder and marvel at the fact she had any sort of compassion left at all. Some day, once Keller was able to get past what the first part of her life was, she would make a fine individual. I hoped I’d be there to see it.

*  *  *

The sky was a bright blue, the clouds puffy and white. Huge cotton balls dotted the horizon. Despite appearances, it was bitter cold. A harsh breeze picked up now and then, blowing snow across the streets and sidewalks of Warwick.

Not a big town, Warwick, made up of around twenty thousands souls, but most of them were there that day. The Warwick Community Church was packed with the sad and grieving. After spending nearly forty years in the burg, dad was well known and loved.

I was flanked by Keller and Jerome, Parker in school. The three of us were silent, my head held high, though it was all a ruse. I felt so small in a big, bad world. This was my first excursion into it since dad died. The sting of emotion was always there, just ready to be let out.

When mom had died it had been so hard and so very painful. But I’d had dad there, and he’d had me. I had to be strong for him, helping to hold him up. I had to be his rock. Now it was just me. My father was gone. My hero. I had spent my entire life trying to be like him, trying to fill those size tens. I only grew to a size seven, so I still had a lot of space.

The large building loomed before us, and folks smiled at me or patted me on the shoulder as we passed. I said nothing, only nodding acknowledgement. Jerome said a few words to those we passed, but Keller said nothing. Instead, she stayed by my side, offering her silent, warm strength.

Keller and Jerome decided it would be better to have a closed casket funeral, which I would forever be grateful for. There was no way I could stomach seeing him lying there motionless, something he’s never done a day in his life, unnatural color making him look like something he wasn’t. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I thought of the fit he would have thrown had the idea of makeup been brought up.

"I’m no damn girl!" he would have howled.

The front pew was set aside for the closest of family, which meant our little trio, along with Gabe, Tommy, Reggie and Penny. Even that bitch, Angel, smiled at me. Maybe the sky would fall or something.

I didn’t hear a single word that was spoken by the minister. He didn’t know dad, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could say that would matter. My eyes drifted around the large sanctuary. Dad’s casket had been covered by an American flag, as he was a three-time veteran. I looked at those stars and stripes, and felt a sense of pride at all that he’d accomplished.

There were two framed photographs that I assumed Jerome had supplied on either side of the casket. One showed dad when he was probably in his early twenties. He looked so handsome in his uniform, hat sitting slightly lop-sided atop his grease-slicked hair. He was grinning, the mischief that I knew he was capable of twinkling in those blue eyes. The other photo was taken three years ago. It was a picture of dad and mom hugging and standing in front of the Statue of Liberty. He used to fly her to New York all the time.

I smiled at both of them, old and new. I could only concentrate on him, his infectious smile, as the services prattled on and on. It was all formality, as dad didn’t give a lick about this kind of thing. I know that, so I talked to him in my mind instead. I told him over and over again how grateful I was that he had been my father, and how sorry I was that Parker would never get to know him fully. I was happy to have had him as my mentor and teacher, and that I loved him.

"Come on, honey," Jerome said quietly, taking my hand. It was time to leave the church, and go bury my father next to mom. I guess a death date would be inscribed on his side of the stone after all.

*  *  *

I looked up into the blue sky as I was guided down that solemn path that would ultimately lead to dad’s final resting place. I had to laugh at that. There would never be any final resting for him. He was already trying to boss heaven around by now.

"Are you okay?" Keller asked quietly. I looked at her, seeing the concerned confusion in her eyes. I guess I must have laughed out loud. I nodded and lowered my head.

There was a green, canvas-sided tent over the freshly dug hole, with chairs set up under it. The cemetery was filled, so many people having turned out to say their goodbyes. They formed a circle around the site, many sniffing or silently crying. Many of dad’s fellow fly boys were either in uniform, or had some part of it on, if even just their medals.

The minister started up again, and I tuned him out. I wanted to stay with the thoughts and memories in my head. I wanted to not feel the pain. I wanted to see my father in my mind’s eye and remember who he was, who I knew him to be, not the watered-down version the minister was serving up.

There was a hush suddenly, and I looked around to see what was happening. I looked to my right when I felt a warm hand on my arm. Jerome, dark eyes moist and shiny, held on tightly to me.

"Twenty-one gun salute," he said quietly, and I felt my heart lurch. The national guard raised their rifles, aimed toward the sky.

"Fire!" someone called out, and a deafening round echoed through the cemetery, scaring birds from their perches in nearby trees. "Fire!" A second round followed, then a final third.

To my surprise, I felt wetness on my cheeks. Had I been shot? Then the sob broke from my chest, bursting through with painful force, and I collapsed into a heap of grieving mass.

I curled myself around myself and dissolved into a pile of loss. I felt myself being gathered and pulled to lean against a sturdy chest, then quietly whispered words reached my ears.

I clung to Jerome, fingers digging into the stiff material of his suit jacket, his old, large knotted tie absorbing my tears, turning the dark green material even darker.

"I know, honey. I know," he soothed, rubbing my back. I could have sworn I even heard a hitched breath from him, too.

"Ma’am."

I looked up to see a handsome young man standing before me in full uniform. He was holding the folded flag in his gloved hands.

"The United States Government offers this flag to you as a symbol of your father’s service to his country."

I took the neat triangle of red, white and blue and held it to me. "Thank you," I whispered. With a nod, he clicked his heels and walked away.

*  *  *

I watched the squirrels fighting with each other on the branches. The screeched at each other, then with mechanical movement, scurried down and out of sight. I reached a hand up, brushing a stringy piece of hair out of my eyes. The grease made my eyes sting.

Turning back to the book that lay in my curled up lap, I tried to find my place on the page for the third time. Concentration was just not happening. I was distracted yet again by a soft knock on the door.

"What?" I called out, eyes wandering over the lines, words unseen. The door opened, and Tut came running in. His tail nearly wagged off his little butt as he looked up at me with big, hopeful brown eyes. "Go away," I muttered to the mutt.

I heard footfalls across the hardwood floor of my bedroom, then felt a hand grab mine. Looking up, I saw one determined Keller tugging me from the chair.

"Let go of me," I snapped, trying to pull my wrist free from her grasp. She still said nothing, but tightened her grip. Once on my feet, I again tried to pull away, but to no avail.

"You’ve been sitting in here for a week. You haven’t showered, you’ve barely eaten. The dogs miss you, and so does Parker." She marched me over to the bathroom in my bedroom and opened the glass shower doors. Turning the water on, she tested it for warmth, then turned to me. "Get undressed." She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring down at me.

"No." I raised my chin slightly in defiance. If I wanted to sit around and do nothing, then goddamn if that wasn’t what I’d do.

"You stink. Take those disgusting sweats off."

"If I stink, then leave me the fuck alone and I’ll stink all by myself." I started to head toward my bedroom again, but was stopped. Strong fingers had my arm, and Keller whirled me around.

"Listen, Garrison. Ever since your dad’s funeral, you’ve been like this. It’s been a week. I know it hurts. I know it’s hard, but you have a life. You’re not the one who died." Her eyes were flashing like blue lightening, and my first instinct was to slap her, but I didn’t. I studied her, tracing the set lines of her face and body, and suddenly realized something – she cared.

This revelation startled me deeply, and suddenly without thought, I began to comply. Her comment had hurt, but somewhere in that mind of mine, I knew she was right. As I undressed, she made herself busy getting me towels and my robe ready for when I got out.

Head hanging, dirty blonde hair in my eyes, I made my way through the steam-filled bathroom to the shower stall and climbed in. Keller closed the door securely behind me and left me to my privacy.

Eyes closed, I raised my face to the spray, letting the hot water wash over me, cleaning me of my pain. Tears silently followed suit, mingling with the water stream, but I swallowed it back, tired of it. I was tired of grieving.

The house was quiet, the tick tock of the grandfather clock at the top of the stairs marking the passage of time. I stopped two steps down, hair freshly cleaned and combed back away from my face. I hated to admit it, but I will, it felt damn good to be clean. The clean flannel pants I wore smelled of laundry detergent, as did my t-shirt.

I saw Parker at the foot of the stairs, sitting with Roy and playing with one of her Leap Frog books, the quiet, mechanical voice encouraging the six year old to try and read. The little blonde glanced up and gave me a huge grin when she saw me coming down the stairs.

"Hey, sweetie." I bent down and gave her a kiss and quick hug, then turned toward the living room. I heard the soft murmuring of the television, then froze. On the screen was dad, sitting in his button-up shirt, his idea of dressing up. He was talking to the guy from the History Channel, talking about his days in the air as a fighter pilot. Various pictures and old footage marked his words.

Keller sat on the couch, watching the show as she leaned forward, elbows on her knees. She seemed intensely interested in what she saw.

I was surprised to hear her voice. "Tell me about him?" She didn’t even look at me, but kept her eyes peeled to dad.

"Okay." Walking around the couch, I sat beside her, watching the footage Jerome had taped for us the night Keller had been taken to the hospital. Keller reached for the remote and hit the pause button, giving me her full attention. Dad’s smiling face was left on the screen.

I began a tale of love and devotion that very few ever experience in real life. I told her of the day dad met his future wife, Mary Constantino.

"Dad had flirted with the poor woman unmercifully." I laughed, remembering mom’s rendition of the story. "He wanted her to say yes, and she kept saying no, as she was dating the colonel’s son at the time." Keller grinned. "But his persistence paid off, and she finally said yes. Two weeks later they married, and then a few days after that, dad was off to Korea."

"That must have been hard." The television turned off, Keller sat curled up in the corner of the couch, temple resting against her fist. I nodded.

"Yeah. Mom said she used to cry every day, and slept with a picture of dad under her pillow."

"Sweet."

"Yeah. So, the war ended, and dad was back in the states. It was time to try and start a family. It just didn’t work. Back then, they didn’t have the nifty medical stuff they do today for that kind of thing. Desperate, mom and dad hit the orphanages. That’s where I come in."

"You were in an orphanage?" Keller asked, brows drawn in concern. I nodded.

"That’s what they tell me. I don’t remember it, and I don’t think I was there very long. By that time, mom and dad were old enough to be my grandparents, but they took me home with them. I guess mom wouldn’t let anyone touch me, let alone hold me, for the first year." I grinned at the way dad had rolled his eyes when I’d heard this story. "Not even dad." Keller also chuckled.

"So why Garrison?"

"When they knew they had me, dad was stationed at Garrison Air Force base in Houston."

"That’s really great, Garrison," she said, her voice soft. Somewhere in our talk, Parker had climbed up onto the couch, and now laid in her big sister’s lap. "Al’s preliminary hearing is Wednesday," she said, surprising me with not only the change in subject, but that she told me at all.

"Do you want to go?" I asked, reaching out to take Parker’s feet into my lap and rub them. She wiggled in Keller’s lap, getting more comfortable, a small smile on her face as she sucked her thumb, unconsciously chewing on it. Keller shook her head, brushing some blonde curls away from Parker’s forehead.

"All it’s for is to determine whether there’s enough evidence to convict the b-a-s-t-a-r-d." She smirked up at me, and I smiled back. "I hope he fries."

"Me, too, Keller. Me, too."

*  *  *

The hangar was dark as I pulled up, as I knew it would be. I hadn’t taken a step into this place in nearly a month. I knew Keller had been in to keep things clean and make sure everything was okay.

I thought of the girl as I sat in my truck, staring at the building that had always been a second home to me. Keller amazed me anew everyday. Her depth of understanding, compassion and pure kindness brought me to new levels of awe. All my previous frustrations with her forgotten. Truly one of the strongest people I’d ever known, and an inspiration for me to get through this. I had to get through this. There were people counting on me.

Parker needed me, now.

A smile naturally formed on my lips when I thought of her last night. The kid had been sitting on the carpet, playing with her new set of My Little Ponies. She had been chattering very quietly to the soft plastic horses, combing long, colorful tails and manes, when she’d looked up. I had been standing in the doorway, watching her, admiring her youthful energy and delight in the simplest of things. She’d grinned up at me, a mouth full of little white teeth, her eyes all scrunched shut in her excitement.

"Garrison!" she’d exclaimed.

"You got it, kiddo." Walking into the room, I’d plunked down next to her on the carpet. "Can I play, too?" She’d nodded vigorously, blonde curls bouncing all around her head.

We’d played on that floor for hours. After awhile, we had an entire family of the ponies, all interacting and getting into trouble. I’d kept the game fun, leading Parker away from her usual games, which I now realized were all re-enactments of events in her young life. She didn’t need the constant reminder, at least, I didn’t think so. I wanted to show her what playing was all about, so maybe she wouldn’t have problems with other kids.

There was magic in children that I never knew about. In my opinion, there was nothing sweeter than a hug and a kiss from a small child. They were so small and young and trusting. Their affection was so pure and honest. There was no holding back, which in turn made me want to be just as honest back. How could I have ever said I didn’t want children?

I knew that some day it would come to pass that Keller would pack up Parker and they’d start their own life. I tried not to think about this, but knew it was inevitable. I could only hope that Keller would allow Parker to stay in my life. I couldn’t imagine she’d deny the kid someone who the janitor knew loved the kid, and who Parker loved and trusted in return.

With a sigh, I opened the door to the truck and headed toward the huge, metal building. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I wanted to throw up. I knew this had to be done, but I didn’t want it.

Jerome informed me that he and Keller had gone through dad’s house, not wanting me to have to deal with it. They’d boxed up everything and put it into storage until I was ready. For her efforts, Jerome had helped Keller buy me a gift. I remembered it so clearly.

We’d come home from dad’s funeral, and naturally I was a bit out of sorts. Keller kept Parker downstairs playing so the kid wouldn’t be scared by my upset. The brunette led me to my bedroom and sat me on the edge of the bed.

"Here," she said, thrusting a wrapped box at me. She looked nervous, chewing on her lip, hands tucked in her pants pockets.

My eyes heavy and stinging from my outburst at the gravesite, I opened the paper with trembling fingers, finding a simple white box beneath. It took a few tries, but I finally got the tap off the ends, and the flaps came open. My heart swelled at what I saw inside: a triangular wooden frame with a glass front, just perfect for a folded flag. A bronze plaque was mounted to the front

~~~

Franklin "Frank" J. Davies, 1936-2004.

He served his country in the United States Air Force, 1953-1995

~~~

I turned to the girl with tear-filled eyes, taking her in a hug, resting my cheek against her shoulder.

"Thank you," I whispered, digging my fingers into the material of her sweater. She nodded, hands tentatively placed on my back. She stepped back as soon as I released her, and I smiled at her through my tears. "This is a wonderful gift, Keller. Very thoughtful of you. Thank you."

"Uh, sure," she said, her voice quiet and unsure.

*  *  *

The key fit perfectly in the lock, and the door opened with a bit of a shove. Mail had been tossed through the mail slot in the door, and was piled up in front of it. Gathering it all up, I flipped on the light in the main office, Penny’s desk eerily quiet. I missed my flirting sessions with her. She was good for a girl’s ego. Moving further into the building, I flipped the lights on as I went, unable to stand the dark right then. I was so afraid that ghosts from the past would lurk in the shadows.

I looked in on the planes, lights reflection on their glass on polished surfaces. I saw my baby and smiled. I had missed her.

"Hey there," I said, my voice a mere whisper, as I ran my hand over her smooth, white body. "I’ve missed ya." I walked all around her, making sure she was okay, then looked to the massive Hercules, which sat quietly on the other side of the hangar. "Really need to get you guys up and running again."

I sighed again, running my hands through my hair, and made the dreaded trek to the office. It was dark, smelling of cleaning supplies with stale coffee underlying the Lysol. The computer screen’s glass reflected the sudden light, tinting it a gray/green color. The old office chair was tucked up against the desk, the way I’d left it the day Keller and I had left to drop off the flight schedule to dad.

Swallowing hard, I walked over to the desk, pulling the chair out and slowly lowering myself into it. It almost felt like I was sitting there for the first time, like it was the favored chair of a father, and I was a little kid playing dress up, trying to take daddy’s place.

Suddenly I was overwhelmed.

Dad and I had been making decisions about the hangar together for the past few years, but it generally always came down to what dad said, though we usually agreed in the end. Now I did not have him for advice or just to rant to. This was all mine to figure out and try to keep afloat. It was in my hands and on my head, and I was getting a headache.

Opening the side drawer, I saw the half-empty box of toothpicks. It was my undoing. Taking them out, I rattled the little box a bit, feeling the beginning of the tears sliding down my face. I needed to do this, and I knew it. I needed to say my goodbyes in the place where dad was most at home. I needed to say goodbye to my mentor and teacher in everything. Time to say goodbye to my business partner, my co-captain, my father and my best friend.

Lowering my head, the tears fell to my lap, dotting the material of my jeans with dark splotches, shoulders heaving with the near silent sobs, which gained in volume and quantity.

Goodbye, dad.

PART 11

I TURNED THE truck off and opened the door, as did Keller. Cars were already at the hangar, as it should be. Jerome would have gotten there at his usual retardedly early hour, and Reggie and Peggy not long before us.

“You okay?”

I was surprised to hear Keller’s quiet voice, but I nodded and smiled at her. She gave me a hint of a smile back, and we started walking toward the building.

In the office, Penny, Reggie and Jerome all were standing around talking, which immediately stopped when we walked through the door. I became suspicious at once. Looking from one compassionate set of eyes to the next, I went over to the coffee pot and poured the tar into my mug. Some things will never change. I kept my back to them as I added a packet of powdered cream. This stuff was even too black for my taste.

With a sigh, I finally turned to face my employees.

The only one who didn’t look like they were going to give me a huge hug was Keller. She had gone to the cleaning schedule page, and was looking to see what she needed to do. There was an uneasy silence in the room, a tension of uncertainty as each of the three Musketeers tried to decide what was the best course of action. I sipped my coffee, trying to act as normal as possible. Finally Penny broke the silence.

“Monk, Dave Carr called from Bruce Grocery on the Vineyard.” Everyone expelled a breath of relief, especially me. We all got down to business, and I managed to escape a kettle of brewing sympathy that I wasn’t prepared to swallow.

The office was quiet, the computer off. I flipped the switch, and the ancient Apple came to life. Sort of. We really needed a new one. I sensed someone on the doorway as I got ready for the day. Looking up, I was surprised to see Reggie standing there, ball cap in his hands. He was looking down at the floor, uncomfortable.

“Hey, Reg. What can I do for you?” I pulled my flight suit out of the closet, tossing it over the arm of the couch. I glanced over my shoulder at him when there was nothing forthcoming. “Reggie?” Finally, he cleared his throat.

“Um, I’m really sorry, Garrison.” He met my eyes. “Frank was like the dad me and Tommy never had. I miss him.”

I smiled, soft and kind. “Me, too. Thanks, Reg.” I walked over to him and gave him a hug, nice and tight. He hugged me back, and when I tried to pull away, he wouldn’t allow it. Resting his head on my shoulder, I felt his body shake. Stunned, I drew comforting circles over the broad back, letting him grieve silently. “I know, Reggie. I know,” I cooed, squeezing my eyes shut. Within a few moments, my mechanic had gotten himself together, and stepped back from me, quickly swiping at his eyes with the backs of his hands. He reminded me of a young boy. I gave him a warm smile. “You okay?” He nodded.

“I have to get back to work.” He plopped the cap onto his head, pulling the blonde ponytail through the opening in back. Without looking at me, he walked away.

Walking into the main hangar, it was odd. Though dad wasn’t always around, off on a flight or doing whatever the hell he did during the day, the place seemed empty somehow. Everyone was doing their job, what they did every single day, but still – no dad.

The atmosphere was definitely much quieter than it had been four weeks ago. I think everyone felt the loss acutely. I could only hope to be half as well loved.

*  *  *

The day went on, as they always do. We were busy, and I was up in the air for a lot of it. As I climbed higher into the clouds, a smile broke over my features. This was where I had wanted to be over the past month. The sky was my freedom, flying like any bird. Alone and in control. I had missed it.

Feeling better than I had in a month, I walked into the hangar with a bona fide smile on my face. Keller was working with Jerome on the Hercules. I could tell she was glad to be back in the saddle with the mechanics bit.

“Keller.” Once I had her attention, I nodded toward the office. She wiped her hands on a rag, then followed.

“What?” she said from the doorway. I looked up from the computer where I was typing in my report from the flight. I nodded to the chair in front of the desk.

“Have a seat. Be with you in a sec.” I typed a few figures in, seeing the janitor sit out of the corner of my eye. Finally done, I turned to her. “You’re getting a raise,” I said matter-of-factly.

“What?” She looked as though she hadn’t heard me.

“You’re getting a raise. Normally that would happen during your annual review, which in your case is in March, but since we’re close, I’m giving it to you now.”

“Why?”

I chuckled. “You do like to look a gift horse in the mouth, don’t you?” She looked sheepish, eyes dropping to her fidgeting hands in her lap. “You’re an excellent worker here, and have been very helpful to Jerome. Just about every day I hear about what a wonderful worker you are, and how quickly you learn, and how much of the load you’ve taken from his shoulders. He thinks you’d be ready to try for your certification by summer.” Surprised blue eyes met mine.

“Really?”

“Yep, and I think that’s a great idea. You interested? To try for it, that is.”

“Yes.”

“Great! Now, for your evaluation. I’ve got only one thing to say to you – you kick ass.” I laughed at the look of confusion on Keller’s face. “You’re the best worker I’ve ever seen, Keller. You’re extremely devoted to what you do, regardless of what it is. You’re detail-oriented, never call off, always do whatever is asked of you, and give it one hundred percent. In short, Keller, you are an excellent employee, and very deserving of a dollar raise.”

“A dollar?”

I laughed again. “Why are you repeating everything I say? Yes, a raise. Yes, a kick ass employee, and yes, a dollar.” I gave her a smile and lowered my voice. “You deserve it, Keller. I also want to thank you. For everything.” I looked into her eyes, hoping she’d get what I was trying to say without me having to explain too much. I wasn’t really into the sensitive chat thing. She stared into my eyes for a moment, almost as though she were reading my thoughts through my soul. So eerie how she could do that. Finally, she nodded.

“You’re welcome.”

“Well, that said, I also want to do something once we get home tonight. This giving me your entire check routine is bullshit.” Keller opened her mouth to protest, but I stopped her with the raise of my hand. “It’s not necessary. You don’t use that much in bills. I’ll show you tonight. Even if you were just some tenant off the street, which you’re not, you wouldn’t be paying that much. Especially now with your raise. So, that said, be ready for a losing battle.” I grinned and winked. She smiled slightly, but looked down as she stood. I could see the consternation in her body language. Putting a stopping hand on her arm, I looked at her. “Keller, you will still be paying your way, you just won’t be overpaying anymore. ’kay?” She nodded and was gone.

*  *  *

The intent for the day had been to keep myself so busy that I’d not have time to think about it. Well, with there being no business coming from Davies Hangar for more than a month, I couldn’t have had a moment to reflect if I’d wanted to. I was glad for the burst of business, but was utterly exhausted when the three of us got home.

Keller made dinner, and Parker and I brought in the groceries we’d picked up on the way home.

“Hang on, sweetie.” I hurried to grab the door for Parker, who was struggling with the gallon of milk she insisted she carry. Smiling down at her as I opened the screen door, she grinned up at me, all squinting blue eyes and bouncing curls as she got a better grip on the gallon of moo juice. “Honey, we’re home!” I called out as we nearly threw the last of the groceries around the kitchen. Keller glared at me over her shoulder as she stirred the spaghetti sauce at the stove. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” I exclaimed, putting my hands up in supplication. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. I laughed and tickled Parker, who squealed like a little pig.

“Dinner’s ready,” the janitor said quietly, bringing a bowl of noodles to the table.

“Great. I’m starved. I had absolutely no time for lunch today.” I helped Parker get situated on her phone books, then sat down, Keller following suit, setting the pan of sauce on a hot pad at the center of the table.

“Why not eat those hideous energy bars you’re always munching on?” Keller asked, preparing Parker’s plate for her.

“Hideous? What are you calling hideous?” I said, mock hurt on my face. She smirked. “I love those things, and I ran out.” I finished lamely. “But, have no fear. I picked up three boxes at the store, so there.” I stuck my tongue out at her, feeling in a glorious mood. She looked at me, raising a brow. Parker giggled.

“You are a strange duck,” Keller muttered, then turned to her own food. I smiled, glad to have us all together again. I had missed them during my self-imposed isolation. Little Parker always made me feel better.

A couple of hours later, after I’d gotten out all the books, copies of old bills, and all that, I called Keller into the office.

“Yeah?” She peeked her head just inside the door.

“Come in,” I said, tossing my reading glasses to the desk and sitting back in the big, leather chair. Keller walked in, cautiously eyeing me, and sat down. “Here’s the deal. This is what you’ll be making as of your next check.” I shoved a piece of paper over to her, numbers already written in pencil. She looked at those, and I had to laugh. Her eyes bulged, though she quickly tried to hide it. “This is what your monthly bills are.” I showed her another figure. Again, surprise. “They don’t add up, do they?”

“No. Let me see.” She looked at me.

“You don’t believe me?” She shook her head. “Alright, alright.” I got all the bills, prepared for just such a reaction, and showed her copies of the bills from the past couple of months.” Keller scanned the bills, looking for any sort of deception on my part. Finding none, she tossed them back to the desk and studied me. “What?” Chewing on her bottom lip, finally she spoke.

“Okay. Then that is what I will pay you every month, no matter what.” She fingered the second figure I’d given her.

“Really?” What, no more argument? Keller nodded. “Great!” I grinned from ear to ear, more than pleased that it had gone over so easily. But then, I had gone over and over those numbers, leaving no holes for her to fight me on. Keller got up, finished with the conversation and negotiation. I called to her at the door. She looked at me. “I’m really glad you guys are here,” I said, my voice filled with nothing but truth. She looked surprised at my earnest words, then looked down at her sneakers. She gave a curt nod, quickly scurrying from the room.

*  *  *

It was a beautiful early April morning, the snow at a minimum, and the air warm and calm. I wanted to go take some pictures, and I wanted to show my roomies a bit of Warwick and the surrounding areas.

Knocking on their bedroom door, I waited, bouncing on the balls of my feet until finally a sleepy Keller opened the door a crack.

“Hi.” I smiled, she just stared at me. “I know it’s a little early, but I was planning to go do some shooting today, and wondered if you and Parker wanted to go?” I gave her my best hopeful look.

“Shooting?” She looked unnerved for a moment.

“With a camera. I do some photography on the side,” I quickly clarified. Visibly relaxing, she closed the door for a moment. I could hear her murmuring something to Parker, then the door opened again. She nodded. “Great! I’ll meet you guys downstairs.” I scurried back to the bedroom, finishing packing the camera bag and a bag for us for the day. I’d also bring us a picnic.

The truck loaded, Mitchum sisters strapped in their seatbelts, I got us on the road. I was so excited. It had been months since I’d been out shooting. Tut and Roy were in the back of the truck, Roy bounding from side to side, looking at everything we passed and sniffing the air. His little brother was a little less active in his curiosity. He sat on his haunches near the cab, eyes squinting at the wind blowing his ears around.

I drove us to my favorite stretch of wooded area. I loved the trees and animals that played there. “Have you guys ever been here?” I asked Keller, trying to make sure I wasn’t stepping into no-no territory. She shook her dark head and I was relieved. “Good. Get ready for perfection.”

We hiked through the ankle-deep snow, bare, skeletal trees pointing the way through their maze of limbs and trunks. Tiny footprints of small animals littered the ground in places. I pointed these out to Keller and Parker, explaining what they belonged to, as well as the winter habits of each creature.

Keller held Parker on her shoulders so the kid wouldn’t have to step in, what to her, was mid-shin-deep snow. Parker, loving the much added height of her tall sister, reached up, touching the brittle limbs, knocking snow onto Keller’s dark head. This, of course, made me laugh. Keller glared at me, dusting the wetness from her locks.

The dogs frolicked in the snow together, running after each other and scaring birds out of the trees with their excited barks. I took lots of pictures of the sisters, watching as Keller helped Parker make a snowman. More like snow creature, as the warm day was making the snow very wet and not hold its shape too well.

Grinning like the evil, mischievous child I once was, I set my camera aside and balled up a bundle of snow in gloved hands. Waiting for an open opportunity, I let loose. My skillfully shaped snowball hit its mark, and Keller looked at me with murderous intent as she wiped the remnants of snow off her cheek. I smiled innocently, then screamed as I ran for cover, a barrage of snowballs chasing after me.

Parker’s giggles echoed through the air as she and Keller found their own shelter. The janitor showed the kid how to make a snowball and throw it. They usually fell quite short of their target, me, but it was cute all the same. Keller and I pelted each other with them, and I’d run out every now and then so Parker could hit me as well. And she did! That little shit had quite the arm.

The dogs even got into the fray, barking and leaping at the airborne missiles, yelping when they’d get pelted, only to rejoin with the next batch. Finally, the fun came to an end when Parker got hammered in the head by a stray. She was knocked down, Keller automatically kneeling by her side. I ran over to them, snow blowing out from my harried steps.

“Is she okay?” I asked, skidding to a stop next to the kid. Keller nodded, looking through Parker’s blonde locks, making sure there wasn’t an injury. I looked into the small face, seeing dazed blue eyes looking up at me. “I’m so sorry, honey,” I said, placing my hand on a narrow, coat-clad shoulder. To my immense surprise, Parker never cried or once made any noise. Most kids her age would be howling in rage or pain and fear.

“She’s okay,” Keller said, helping her sister to her feet.

“Come on, guys. Let’s eat, huh?” Both nodded, and we made our way back to the truck.

*  *  *

The drive from the woods was relatively low-key. The radio was on quietly, and the sisters talked amongst themselves. I was lost in my own thoughts, smiling fondly at the day we’d had. Who knew they could be so much fun?

I came to a traffic light. One way would take us home, the other to the hangar. Flipping my turn signal, I looked behind me, then made a right turn on red. Keller’s perceptive gaze looked around, then at me in confusion.

“I want to show you something,” I said quietly, in lieu of explanation. She nodded, but remained quiet. I pulled up to the large, metal building that I knew so well, the large, proud sign announcing the business inside. Cutting the engine, I got us inside, turning lights on as we went. Keller followed, holding Parker’s hand. The kid looked around, having not been there for a little bit.

The duo followed me wordlessly to the port where the two planes waited patiently for their daily attention. I flipped on the light in that huge room, and Keller’s eyes immediately went to the planes there. I smiled, satisfied with her unspoken interest.

“I thought maybe you’d like to look around a bit,” I said, walking over to the Cessna. Blue eyes looked curious. “I mean, after all, you did put the model together, so why not explore the real thing?” I gave her an encouraging smile. I could see Keller’s excitement just below the surface, though she seemed afraid to show it. Not pushing the issue, I opened the electronic panel on the Cessna’s side, exposing all the entrails that Keller had been briefed on by Jerome. I also unlocked the side door to the little plane, opening it.

I took Parker, hefting her up to my shoulders, and let Keller explore unhindered. The janitor walked around the plane, running her fingers over the smooth, white surface with a reverence that I understood so well. Wide blue eyes took in everything, the paint, the wings and propeller, the mechanics that made the plane work.

She walked over to the open door, peeking her head in. She looked at me, unsure, biting her lip. I nodded, indicating she should go in. Without further ado, she disappeared inside. There were two seats up front for a pilot and co-pilot if need be, then two more for passengers in back. I couldn’t see what Keller was doing, but figured it was looking around. There was no key in the ignition, so I knew she couldn’t hurt anything.

Parker and I made our way over to the little door, and I smiled when I saw the janitor sitting in the pilot’s seat, looking up at all the gadgets and controls above her head, fingering some, one hand on the stick between her legs.

I was so enchanted as I watched her expressions, wonder and awe. The girl seemed so happy to be in the plane, more life in her than I’d ever seen, save when she’s with Parker.

“You want to go in there with Keller?” I asked a squirming Parker. She nodded vigorously, so I lowered her from my shoulders and set her at the threshold of the plane. The kid scuttled over to the other seat, grinning like a fool at her big sister, feeling pretty big herself.

“Careful, Parker,” Keller said. She watched the kid, who had found the stick. She moved it around like it were an Atari game. Keller’s gaze caught mine over the kid’s head, and we both gave knowing grins.

Thinking it the cutest thing I’d ever seen, I ran and got my camera, as well as an old pair of aviator goggles that were in the office.

“Okay, Parker. Put these on, hon.” I handed the kid the large goggles. She looked to Keller for help, and eventually I laughed my ass off. The goggles were so big for the kid’s face that half of it disappeared behind the tinted lenses. Her huge grin was all that was visible, other than the little point of her nose. I raised my camera. “Smile!” I said, both sisters looking at me. Parker’s grin stayed firmly in place, while Keller held basically a smirk on her lips.

*  *  *

Our very active day was rounded out by stopping at the video store and renting Ice Age and Finding Nemo. I picked up popcorn with plenty of butter, and other treats for the three of us. Keller insisted on buying soda, and who was I to deny her?

It was nice. Keller and I held down either side of the couch, and Parker sat between us, grabbing huge handfuls of popcorn, doing her best to get it all in her small mouth, pieces falling all around her small body, and into the space between the cushions.

I’m not sure where my attention was more – the movie or the kid. She was too amusing for words. But, finally she was yawning, and quite frankly, so was Keller.

“Time for bed,” I said quietly, getting up to start taking things into the kitchen. I heard Keller turn the movie off, and saw her, with Parker gathered in her arms, heading upstairs. I followed, turning lights off as I went, the squeaky stairs moaning under all our combined weights. At the top, Keller turned to me, a sleeping Parker resting snugly against her chest.

“Thanks for today,” she whispered, eyes shifting, still not totally comfortable to look me in the eye. I nodded.

“You’re very welcome.” I gave the biggest smile I could, and went to my bedroom.

*  *  *

“Nah, I’m serious! That chick was all over me.” Reggie grinned, wiping a greasy hand across his forehead, leaving a most interesting smudge. I saw this from the window in the office, and had to chuckle. Jerome and Keller were nearby, although I don’t think either was fully listening. I could see the janitor’s jaw clenching once in a while. She could not stand Reggie, and had never made any bones about it.

“Reg, do your work,” Jerome grumbled, squinting his eyes to better see the part he was working on. Why he didn’t just put on the reading glasses that I knew were in his shirt pocket, I’ll never know.

“Nah, come on, Jerry!” Reggie exclaimed, getting excited now. He jumped up from his perch on top of the ladder, where he’d been working on the wing of the Hercules. “She was hot.” The young mechanic gave Jerome a knowing smile.

“I’ll bet,” Jerome said absently, asking Keller for a tool.

“Come on!” Reggie whined, getting agitated that no one was listening to him, or taking him seriously. I had a bad feeling, so got up from behind the desk and stood in the doorway. The blonde mechanic turned his sights to Keller.

“Oh, shit,” I muttered.

“Come on, Keller. You know guys like me score, huh?” Keller ignored him, but she visibly tensed. Jerome glanced up at her, then over at Reggie, shaking his head at the kid. “What? Keller’s hot. I bet she likes it real hot and fast, don’t ya?” Reggie grinned, especially when Keller stood from her spot on the floor, where she’d been handing Jerome tools. The brunette looked at him, hands balling into fists at her sides.

“Reggie, I’d drop it,” Jerome said, his voice quiet but stern.

“Come on, Keller. Come get some.” Reggie grabbed is crotch in an undeniable gesture. The air in the hangar seemed to grow very heavy as Keller walked toward him, blue eyes nailing him to the spot, though Reggie was too stupid to realize trouble was walking his way. Without word or warning, Keller drew her fist back and brought it forth, making solid, painful sounding contact with Reggie’s jaw. He went down like a ton of bricks, and Keller stalked off, her eyes like little blue beacons of warning.

“Moron,” Jerome muttered as he made his way over to his co-worker, kneeling beside him. I considered going after Keller, but figured she needed her time to cool off first. I knew she had one hell of a temper, especially when she felt she was being cornered.

Shaking my head again, I headed to the office to get the First Aid kit.

It wasn’t long before Keller could be spotted, puttering around the halls and main office, with Penny watching the dark janitor. Keller rarely spent her time there, usually preferring to be as thorough in the hangar area as possible. The girl loved being around the planes, not the office staff.

I leaned out of the office. “Keller? Can you come in here, please?” Heading back to the desk, where I sat on the edge, I watched as the janitor made her slow way inside, lingering in the doorway. She looked more than sheepish, though ready to go on the defense at any moment. “Have a seat,” I said, indicating the two chairs before me. Wordlessly, Keller sat, body slumped, holding her right hand in her left. I was sure it had to hurt. “How’s the hand?” Keller shrugged.

“S’okay.”

“Let me see.” Hopping down from the desk, I sat in the twin chair to hers and took her hand in my own. At fist she was stiff, as though she were going to yank the hand away, but then thought better of it. The knuckles were already showing signs of bruising and swelling. “Can you move your fingers?” She nodded, demonstrating this to me. “Good. Stay here.”

I snagged some ice from the small fridge near the coffee maker in the main office.

“What happened?” Penny asked, looking over her shoulder to see if Keller was behind me. I grinned.

“Reggie finally got what was coming to him.” Wrapping the ice in a few paper towels, I headed back to the office. “Put this on your hand and keep it there.” Keller nodded, placing the cold bundle on her swelling hand. Sighing, I perched back on the desk, running a hand through my hair. “Are you okay?” I asked after awhile, Keller never looking at me, her gaze fixated on either the floor or her lap. She nodded. “You sure?” She nodded again, then looked up.

“Sorry.” Her voice was very quiet.

“What for?” I asked, an amused smile on my face.

“Because I was fighting in your place of business.”

“Don’t sweat it, Keller. Reggie asked for what he got. Yes, I would prefer you find alternate means of getting your point across, you know, I don’t want blood on the planes or anything,” I winked at her, “but Reggie got what he deserved.”

Keller finally actually met my eyes, looking wary and uncertain. “Really?”

“Yes. He knew better than to do that or say those things to you. You’ve worked with him long enough for him to not be such a numb skull.” I smiled reassuringly.

“So, you’re not going to fire me?” There was a hint of hopefulness in her voice. I shook my head.

“Not a chance. This place has never looked so good.” This got an itty bitty smile, but I’d expect nothing more. “Go on. Why don’t you get out of here for the day. Take a load off.” Keller nodded and stood. She raised her ice-covered hand.

“Thanks.”

“No worries.” I watched her go, then turned to my own tasks.

*  *  *

I tossed and turned, then tossed again. I felt like a salad, and the dogs weren’t any happier with me. They looked at me, groaning their irritation at the bed constantly moving and bouncing.

“Shit.” I sat up, running a hand through very messy hair, and looked at the clock. It was nearly one in the morning, and I was having a hell of a time sleeping. Every time I closed my eyes, visions of dad would dance before them. With a sigh, I grabbed the phone and dialed. A very sleepy voice answered. “Gabe? Are you sleeping?” I was incredulous.

“Yeah. It’s called having to be at work retardedly early in the morning.” He was irritated.

“Since when did you become so damned responsible?” My voice was harsher than I had intended. He was always up late. Growling in the back of my throat, I told him to go back to sleep. Hanging up the phone, I looked around my room. I was now totally awake. And craving ice cream.

Checking the clock told me that two minutes had passed, and I was restless on a Saturday night. I needed a friend. My head snapped toward my closed bedroom door, realizing I had two friends just beyond.

I waited patiently for the door to open, and when it did, it was just a crack. A blue eye peered out at me. Realizing what crazy woman stood outside her door at one thirteen at night, the door opened wider.

“Hi.” I smiled. “I was thinking we’d all go out and get some ice cream.” Those blue eyes blinked at me, for some reason looking at me like I was nuts.

“Uh,” was all she got out. I looked beyond to see a sleepy Parker looking at us, rubbing at her sand-man coated eyes with little fists.

“Ice cream,” she muttered sleepily. I grinned, knowing that the grand poo bah of decision makers had spoken.

All bundled, we climbed into the truck, the midnight air really cold, harsh winds blowing snow over the roads. I knew this was crazy, and didn’t need the near-constant looks from Keller for verification. But dammit, I needed the company.

We got to an all-night grocery store and prowled the aisles until I found what I was looking for. Grabbing a container of vanilla fudge ice cream, I then got us a bottle of the hardening chocolate syrup, sprinkles and whipped cream.

Keller continued to look on with tired, wary eyes. Parker, however, was totally getting into this. We’d found that she adored ice cream.

Winnings in hand, we headed home and had an ice cream picnic on the living room floor in front of the fireplace. Parker happily munched away at her dessert, and even Keller got into the groove.

“So, guys. Good?” I asked, looking from one to the other. Parker grinned, chocolate covering the entire lower half of her face and a sprinkle or two sticking out between small, even teeth. She was out eating both of us, and I was stunned she was still awake. I was beginning to feel sleepy.

Sitting back, I leaned against the couch, dropping my spoon into my empty bowl, a satisfied smile on my face.

“I think I’ve had enough fun food,” I said, eyes becoming droopy.

“Tired,” Parker suddenly announced, her energy slipping out through the cracks. It was nearly three in the morning, and I felt so very guilty for keeping the kid up. Definitely not something I’d be repeating often.

“Ready for bed?” Keller asked her sister quietly. The blond nodded, holding her arms up for her big sister. The janitor quickly scooped her up, then looked down at me. “Thank you,” she said, and headed up the stairs. I threw all of our dishes into the sink, knowing we’d worry about them in the morning. Well, later in the morning, at least. Flicking lights off as I went, I finally collapsed into bed for a dreamless sleep.

*  *  *

I smiled at the man who held the glass doors open for me, then headed out into the warm, late winter sunlight. April was upon us, and I was glad. I was getting tired of the snow, and was ready for the trees to sprout new life and new green to line the roadways instead of snow and gray sludge.

Calvin Humphreys had been dad’s lawyer since the beginnings of the hangar. It was nice to see him again, as he didn’t really say much at the funeral.

A smile spread across my face as I recalled, once again, just how lucky I had been having my dad for a dad. His generosity didn’t even end after he was gone.

Keller and Parker were working on a masterpiece from the little tyke. Finger paint was everywhere, in the blonde locks, under a blue eye, and gritty under short, chewed nails. The sisters looked up at me, and Parker smiled. She jumped up, showing the little patch of yellow on the knee of her denim overalls. She grabbed the picture they were working on, nearly toppling the glass of water used to clean the brushes. Keller caught it, shaking her head at her sister’s enthusiasm.

“Look.” Parker showed me the wet, half finished picture. It was of the three of us, and what looked as though it would eventually be an airplane in the sky.

“Tell me about this,” I said, kneeling down so we were on the same level. She pointed to the fat blobs that were Keller and I.

“This is Keller, you and me. Tut and Roy are over there.” She pointed to two stick figure-type things that I thought were squirrels.

“It’s wonderful, Parker.” I smiled at her, giving her a quick, one-armed hug. She smiled, then ran back to Keller, plopping herself back onto her stomach to finish. I tossed the mail I’d collected onto the coffee table. “Keller, when you and Picasso are finished here, I need to talk to you.”

Making my way up the stairs, I noticed that Keller had already cleaned everything. The polish could be smelled on the wood, the vacuum marks indicative of her time spent with Hoover. The bare mattress on my bed looked at me, the sheeting being pulled by me that morning. Sitting on the pillow-top, I tugged off my boots and socks, flexing my toes against the area rug that peeked out from under the bed.

“You needed to talk to me?”

I looked up, seeing Keller standing in the doorway, one hand tucked into the pocket of her jeans. I nodded.

“Come on in.” I motioned toward the entire room. The janitor stepped in, looking for a place to sit. Despite the queen sized bed that nearly swallowed me, she chose the chair in the corner – the same one she’d sat in while telling me the story of Trudy Mitchum. She eyed me with wary blue eyes. I couldn’t wait until the day that she would trust me. I didn’t know if it would ever happen, but I certainly wished.

“Is there a problem?” she asked, her voice quiet and steady. I shook my head.

“No. Absolutely not.” I smiled to let her know I spoke the truth. “I went to the lawyer’s office today.” She nodded, my having told her that earlier in the day. “Keller, dad left something for you.” I decided to just be blunt and straightforward with it. Her expression did not change, though I did notice her fingers grabbing a little tighter to the arm of the chair. “Now, we’ve had multiple discussions of just how proud you are, and how you hate taking what you perceive to be charity.” I took a deep breath, wanting her to really hear me. “Keller, this is dad’s last wish for you. He cared a great deal for you and Parker, whether you realized it or not. He wanted to see the best for you both.”

“Why?”

“Because that was just the kind of person he was.” I smiled softly, remembering him so clearly. “He opened a college account for Parker. Her schooling is paid for, should she decide to go. She can’t touch it until she’s eighteen.” Keller swallowed heavily. I wished so badly that I could know what she was thinking. “And for you, he’s sending you to flight school.”

I watched her, waiting to see what her reaction would be to this news. I hoped that she appreciated it in the spirit that dad had intended. I had been utterly stunned when Calvin Humphreys, dad’s lawyer of more than twenty years, had read this to me. Dad had to of done this very recently to include my two charges.

“Flight school?” she said finally. I nodded.

“Yeah.”

“I, I don’t understand.” She looked down into her lap. “He didn’t even really know me. He doesn’t owe me anything.”

“No, he doesn’t, but that doesn’t matter. Please understand, Keller. Dad tried his best to look out for you, even before you came to live with me. He’s also left you his truck. He wanted to make sure you were able to drive safely in the winter . . .” My voice trailed off as Keller shoved up from the chair and left the room. Stunned for a moment, I heard her hurry down the stairs, and the front door open and close.

Sighing and running a hand through my hair, I stood. Walking over to a front window in the hall, I saw her make her way down the walk, hands shoved into both front pockets of her jeans, and down the sidewalk, away from the house. Letting the drapes fall back into place, I went downstairs to start dinner.

Parker hadn’t missed a beat. Now, instead of painting, she was playing with a set of building blocks given to her by Jerome for her birthday. The painting had been put on the dining room table to dry. Looking down at it, I felt my heart lurch. In the plane flying overhead was dad, open cockpit showing his gray hair and blue eyes. He was smiling and waving. I couldn’t help but translate it as him being our guardian angel now.

“The painting is beautiful, sweetie,” I told Parker on my way to the kitchen. She grinned up at me and continued with her building.

*  *  *

Parker was dressed, recently bathed locks quickly springing into life as they dried. She happily ate her Cap’N Crunch, sipping from her glass of grape juice. Keller had been eating hers, but then jumped up and ran to the washer and dryer. I watched as she came back into the kitchen, folding her freshly washed coveralls.

“You won’t need those today,” I said, pointing at them with my spoon. She looked down at the clothing, then at me with confusion. “Trust me on this.” I grinned.

Keller had come home late last night, leaving me to get Parker ready for bed. The kid had asked no questions, but instead had crawled into bed, little Scooby Doo covered butt up in the air as she did so. I hadn’t mentioned it since yesterday, and neither had she. I figured when she was ready to talk or deal with whatever was bothering her, she would. I didn’t take offense, figuring that she had been overwhelmed with dad’s generosity. I knew she couldn’t possibly be angry.

“Why not? You expect me to do that in these?” She looked down at herself, sweatshirt and jeans, both new from Christmas. I shook my head.

“Nope.” Saying nothing more, I finished my breakfast and took all of our dishes to the sink to rinse and load in the dishwasher.

Parker safely dropped off at school, Keller and I headed for the hangar. I was excited, nearly buzzing in my seat. I glanced over at her often, earning a gruff, “What!?” I had no answer in return, opting to keep grinning like the Cheshire cat.

“Hey, girls.” Penny smiled as we entered the main office.

“Howdy.” I smiled, grabbing my mug for my morning cup of tar. Keller continued on after a brief nod of acknowledgement to the secretary.

“Friendly, isn’t she?” Penny rolled her eyes, chewing on the end of a pen.

“Leave her be,” I said, sipping, automatic grimace wrinkling my nose just at the strong smell. “You know, just one of these days you’ll actually learn how to make a decent cup of coffee,” I said, raising my cup.

“And maybe just once you’ll give me a reason to.” The redhead’s grin was evil, and I matched it.

“Dream on, Nickel.”

“Oh, that was lame.” She rolled her eyes again.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s early. I can’t exactly be expected to have great comebacks before ten.” She chuckled as I made my way to the office. The flight schedule was already on my desk, and I flipped through it, making sure this would work, that there were no unexpected flights to do today. With such a heavy load now, I had to be very creative in my planning.

Getting some paperwork finished that had to go out that day, I turned the computer off, changed into my flight suit, grabbed my surprise, and went in search of the janitor.

Keller was sweeping up a mess made by a careless UPS guy.

“Hey,” I said. She glanced at me over her shoulder.

“Hey.” Turning back to sweeping, I rolled my eyes.

“Stop sweeping, will ya?” She eyed me as though I’d lost my mind.

“Why?”

“Because you need to put these on.” I tossed the bundle I held in my arms at her, which she caught easily. Letting the long garment unfold, she held it before her, raising it to her eyes. The gray garment lowered, and she looked at me in confusion.

“This is a flight suit, and it has my name sewn onto the patch.”

“Well, you can hardly go flying without a flight suit, now can you?” I winked and headed toward my Cessna. I listened to see if she was following, and I could hear her hopping around as she tried to put the suit on while walking. Reaching the plane, I turned to see her zipping it up. Looking at her, I adjusted the collar, patting her shoulder. “Are you ready for this?” Nodding toward the plane, I studied her eyes, smiling as understanding entered them. She nodded slowly, dumbly, as though she wasn’t quite comprehending what I was telling her. “Good. Climb in.”

Keller climbed in the plane before me, making her way to the seat next to mine. Her fingers were trembling as she tried to get herself belted in, missing the latch several times. Without a word, I gently took the buckle from her, re-strapping it across her chest, and listening for the comforting click of the mechanism that would let you know you were safe.

Jerome and Reggie, who kept a far pace of distance between he and Keller, opened the bay doors completely, and the plane was slowly pushed out. Once we were out in the open, I got the engine started, the propeller whisking to life before our eyes. Keller watched with wide-eyed amazement at everything I did. She followed my fingers as they danced over the panel of buttons and switches.

I radioed to the tower my intent to take off, waiting for clearance, as I got us to the head of the long runway. Keller looked outside her window, watching as the scenery slowly passed by, reminding me of Parker as she took in everything she saw.

Cleared, I looked to Keller, waiting until her gaze met mine.

“You ready for this?” There was a devilish gleam in my eye. She nodded, though still looked a little shell shocked. Putting some thrust on, I got us really moving, trucking down that paved way to the skies. Puling back on the stick, we were airborne.

Keller grabbed onto the seat beneath her as she realized we were no longer on the ground. She nearly broke her neck trying to crane it, watching the earth get further and further away.

“Hey, Keller.” She looked at me. “Look down to your left, that’s the hangar.”

Her head immediately snapped in that direction, straining to get the very last glimpse of the large, metal building, until it was out of sight, disappearing through the gauze of clouds.

I flew all around the city and state, wanting her to get the full view of Massachusetts from fifteen thousand feet in the air. Never in our short acquaintance had I seen Keller so excited, her body a veritable bundle of energy and childish glee. As far as the harness would allow her to go was as far as she’d take it, neck and body straining to see more. I took us out over the Atlantic, letting her see the glory of the ocean, blue and hazy from the air quality so far above.

“Hey, grab that stick in front of you.” It took a moment for the janitor to realize I was talking to her, but she immediately grabbed hold of it. We stayed like that for a moment, me slowly, carefully taking my hand off, making sure the plane was steady. “Keller?”

“Yeah?” She glanced over, her eyes trying to stay on me instead of everything else around her.

“Don’t look now, but you’re flying the plane.” I nodded toward the stick in her steady hand. She looked down at that hand, then back up at me. Her eyes grew wide as realization struck, and the corner of her mouth started to quirk up a bit, but she stopped it. It was like trying to keep a bucking bronco down. “It’s okay to smile, Keller.” I smiled at her to prove my point. “Come on. Let it out.” I quietly pleaded. She looked away, but when she looked back at me, my heart nearly stopped. The most radiant thing I’d ever seen. Beautiful, even white teeth filled her face, reaching her eyes to make them sparkle an even more devastatingly beautiful blue than ever before.

“Wow,” she breathed, looking back around us, that smile still firmly in place.

“Wow, indeed.” I turned away, stunned by just how gorgeous this girl really was. If only she’d show that smile more often. I decided in that moment to make it my goal and job to make it reappear as often as possible.

“Can I move this?” she asked, not taking her eyes from the skies around us.

“Sure.”

Keller slowly moved us around, though I made sure to keep us on the right, general course.

“What kind of stomach do you have?” I asked, mischief in my eyes. She met my look, and smiled, reading my thoughts. Without further ado, I got us going in a corkscrew, the world turning into a whirlpool swirly before our eyes.

“Whoa!” she exclaimed, holding onto whatever she could, though the harness she wore wouldn’t allow her to go anywhere. Getting us steady again, I relinquished control once more, and guided her toward New York, keeping a very close eye on everything, and helping her out of turbulence trouble.

I took over when it came time to land, but she watched my every move, eyes transfixed on the runway, then to the controls I used, then to the radio in my hand as I announced our presence.

Once we were stopped, and the door was open, I helped Keller down from the Cessna. She looked around.

“We’re in New York?” she asked, wrapping her jacket a little tighter around her.

“Pretty amazing, isn’t it? You go into the plane in one state, and come out in another.” I smiled at her, and she smiled back. Keller was glowing, and I loved it. “Come on. We have to see about getting her unloaded.” I pointed to the plane over my shoulder with my thumb. She nodded and began to follow.

“Oh, Al had his prelim two weeks ago,” she said quietly. “Judge said there’s enough evidence to go to trial.”

I smiled up at her, patting her arm with a gloved hand. “That’s wonderful, Keller. Really wonderful.”

PART 12

I DUG THROUGH my drawers, trying to find an elusive pair of cargo shorts. One thing I hated about the coming of winter was that all my summer clothes got buried as I pulled out more and more sweaters and long-sleeved shirts. I hadn't had this particular pair of shorts, one of my favorites, all summer. It was a special day, taking Parker and Keller on a special trip, and I knew I'd need plenty of pockets to carry any and everything the kid didn't want to hold onto once we got there.

It was to be a last hurrah before she started school, and Keller started her flight training. After discussing it, the janitor and I decided it would be best to put her schooling off until she got her driver's license. Passing the test with flying colors in July, she was good to go, and was driving dad's truck, which he'd also left to her.

"Hey, you guys ready?" I called out of my open bedroom door. I could hear them giggling and roughhousing in the hall just beyond the door.

"Where we going?" Parker yelled, running into the room just as I yanked my shorts over my hips, and grabbing onto a leg.

"You'll see, kiddo." I ruffled her hair, which had gotten so long. It was healthy and golden, running down her back. She was also growing like a damn weed! I swear, I'd go to sleep at night, and by morning she'd grown another two inches. Never really being around kids for extended periods of time, let alone nearly a year, it was truly amazing to see how much the kid had changed. No longer so timid, unless around strangers or most men, she was outgoing, and talked just about nonstop with Keller and I. She was still not nearly as talkative as most kids her age, but I was thrilled every time I heard her sweet voice.

Yeah, the kid was doing just fine.

"Are you not going to tell us?" Keller asked, standing in the bedroom doorway, arms crossed over her tank top-covered chest. I shook my head.

"Nope. It's a surprise." I gave her a shit-eating grin. "Now come on!" I clapped my hands. "Let's get this show on the road."

I was nearly bouncing as we all got loaded into the truck. I had Keller drive, as I often do when it's all of us, to help give her more experience, and so I could be here if she had any problems.

I sent her to the hangar where my baby was all ready to go. Two sets of blue eyes opened wide at the sight of the plane, and I thought Keller was going to bounce out of her skin with excitement.

"You ready?" I asked, opening the side door to the plane. She nodded, and quickly turned to help Parker, who looked scared out of her mind. The poor little thing was chewing on her finger, totally unsure about this.

"It's okay," Keller murmured to her, helping her inside. Without a word, Keller sat next to her sister in the back of the small plane, belting them both in. Getting settled in the front, I looked back at them.

"All ready?" I asked, and at Keller's nod, I got the plane started and radioed the tower. Taxiing to the place where we'd be taking off, I called back, "Hold on to your hats!" and began the drive down the runway.

Parker began to cry as we lifted off, Keller doing her best to quiet the kid. After a few moments, once we were up in the sky, the crying had come down to mere sniffles. Keller pointed out different things to the little blonde, getting her attention on something other than the fact that we were fifteen thousand feet in the air.

"I don't think she's going to take to the sky quite like you, Keller," I called out over my shoulder. I heard her snort behind me. The flight to Hershey, Pennsylvania, was a quiet, uneventful one. The only noise, other than the sound of the engines, and occasional crackle from the radio, was Keller softly talking with Parker, and the kid asking timid questions. Landing at a small airport just outside of the town of the chocolate makers, we were met with the car I'd rented already, and were on our way.

"Where are we?" Keller asked, sitting in the front seat, looking around as we drove the streets of Hershey.

"Hershey, Pennsylvania," I said absently, never even taking my eyes from the road. As the sign for Hershey Park came into view, Keller sat a little straighter in her chair, noting the bright colors, and the unmistakable smell of the rich chocolate itself. "I'm taking you two to the wonderful Hershey Park. There is chocolate here, rides, and most importantly, cotton candy." Keller looked at me, brow raised.

"What is that?"

"You've not had cotton candy?" She shook her head. "Oh, dear girl. This must change, and quickly." I paid our admission into the busy amusement park, and led the girls over to a cotton candy vendor. Yeah, so it was like ten o'clock in the morning, but you only live once.

"Hi there." The vendor smiled as he continued to spin the candy around a white paper cone.

"Hi." I smiled back. "What kinds do you have?" I leaned over the vat, seeing the pink cotton bundle get bigger and bigger.

"Well, here I've got bubble gum, over there in them bags we've got blueberry, cherry and then that rainbow one." He nodded over his shoulder toward the bagged candy already hanging from a wire rack. I turned to my companions.

"Bubble gum!" Parker exclaimed, holding on to Keller's hand with a death grip. She hadn't been around quite so many strangers in awhile. I could see Keller's eyes darting this way and that as people walked by.

"Have one for you in just a sec, little one," the man said with a smile. Parker just looked up at him with big eyes.

"Keller?" I nodded toward the assortment.

"Nothing for me." Keller waved me off, eyes still looking over the growing crowds of people. With a sigh, I walked over to her, making her look at me.

"Keller, I brought you guys here today to have a good time. You're fine and safe, and so is Parker. Please just enjoy it, okay?" I tried my best to make my voice as understanding as possible. It was so hard sometimes to think in Keller terms. Hard to understand what made her do the things she did and think the way she did. It was an exercise in patience. The janitor glared down at me for a moment, the muscles in her jaw working, then nodded.

"Blueberry." Her voice was very quiet, almost defeated, and I took it as a victory for me. Giving her the biggest smile I owned, I squeezed her arm.

"A blueberry and the rainbow one, too, please."

*  *  *

Keller and I took turns watching Parker as she made her way through the Crazy Climber, me usually ending up holding her shoes. She climbed and romped around the kiddie ride with dozens of other screaming children, all climbing and bouncing, and just in general, having a hell of a time.

We ate more junk, including hotdogs, hamburgers, funnel cakes, more cotton candy and caramel apples. I think I must have gained ten pounds in that one day.

As we made our way through the park, Parker happily munching on her ice cream that Keller had bought for her, I saw the Storm Runner, Hershey Park's new roller coaster, open for a matter of months. Glancing at Keller, I knew the ride was for her. If she liked to fly as much as she appeared to, she'd love a roller coaster.

I turned to her and grinned, one of those great, shit-eating ones.

"What?" she asked, her suspicions already raised. I nodded toward the ride, and her eyes followed. She watched as the brightly painted cars flew by, then raced around the track, going up unbelievably steep inclines, only to speed down huge dips, then corkscrew and fly upside down, and race past us again, blowing our hair from our faces. Keller began to shake her head, unsure of this craziness.

"You like to fly, right?" I said, trying to get her to see that it was so similar.

"Yeah, but . . ."

"But nothing. Then fly, girl!" I gently shoved her toward the line for the roller coaster. She took a step, but faltered, still unsure. "Okay. I know you'll love it, so why don't you go stand in line, and watch the thing. If you still don't know if you want to do it by time you get to the front, get out of line." My evil streak hit again. "You know, if you're that much of a chicken and all." My eyes were twinkling as she turned to look at me. Hers were drawn to narrow slits.

"Fine." She shoved the last of her newest cone of cotton candy into my hands, and stomped off toward the ride. I chuckled, knowing she'd thank me for it later. I took Parker's hand, snagging some of the candy from Keller's cone, and got us a good place to sit under a tree, on a bench. We both watched as the tall girl with dark hair stood in the line, hands shoved into her pockets, eyes constantly looking around. Keller watched the goings on of those around her, she scrutinized passersby, and even turned to grace us once in a while with her protective watch. When she did that, I'd simply nod at her and smile. Parker didn't pay a lick of attention. She was too busy playing with the giant, stuffed Hershey bar Keller had won her at a game booth.

As I watched her, and heard Parker sitting next to me, murmuring things to her new toy, I was amazed. Looking at these two now, never in a million years would have I have been able to picture this, this time last year. They were both healthy, fully filled out from the near emaciated stated in which I got them. Parker was talking now, nearly like a normal six and a half year old. Keller looked great, her skin and hair looked healthy and beautiful. Her eyes were still shadowed, and I ventured a guess to say they'd always be. There was no way a kid could endure what she had and not be permanently scarred, like those that littered various places on her body. Just like Parker.

I'd been thinking about talking to Keller about both she and Parker going to see a counselor. I figured it would be best to get them both to actually deal with their lot in early life sooner rather than later. I wanted Parker to have as normal a life as she possibly could. And I wanted Keller to open up, not be so afraid of letting others in. I wanted her to know that she could trust, and that not everyone was Al Mitchum.

Al Mitchum. Bastard. Back in June, he'd been scheduled to start his trial. The day before, June 5, he decided to plead. Keller had wanted to go, and I knew she'd never be able to ask if I'd go with her, though the small, pleading looks she sent my way, which she didn't think I'd seen, told me all I needed to know. Parker's teacher from last year had babysat her, and Keller and I had gone off to the court house.

The smallish, wood-covered court room had been near empty. The judge, clerk, court reporter, two lawyers, Al, a reporter for the Warwick Tribune, and the two of us. Al had come into the room in shackles, which I'd loved. He looked basically the same as he had that day in September, though he was actually clean and clean shaven. He wore prison orange, the light from above glinting off the balding spot on top of his head. He was still as fat and disgusting.

Keller had trembled next to me, and I wasn't sure why - fear of the man who'd dogged her every move since she'd been a young child? Or was it all the rage and hatred boiling through her? I'd never know.

The judge did her thing, explaining about the pleading process. Al's lawyer, a court-appointed defender, stood and opened his mouth to speak, when Al suddenly stood, too. The lawyer looked at his client, confused.

"Yeah, I'm pleadin' guilty, judge," Al said, his voice deep and a little lispy from his few missing front teeth.

"Uh, I need to speak to my client, your honor-"

"Mr. Haynes, if you can't get a hold of your client and keep control of the situation, perhaps we need to find Mr. Mitchum an attorney who can."

"Yes, your honor." The lawyer turned to Al, eyes on fire. They began to quietly argue, murmured words of anger that didn't reach our ears. I turned to look at Keller, see how she was holding up. Her eyes were blue masks, her face expressionless. She looked much like she did in the early days last fall. I hated to see this girl return. If only there was something I could do, but I knew she had to handle this the best and only way she knew how - anger.

"Fuck you. You're fired," Al erupted, jaw muscle clenched. His lawyer looked absolutely dumbfounded, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"Mr. Mitchum!" The judge pounded her gavel. "I will not have you acting like this in my courtroom. Either you control your temper or I will have you in contempt of court. Do you understand me?"

"Sure judge, whatever." Al smirked. "I'm guilty. Fine, whatever. I did it, hurray. First time I'll get three squares a day and a basketball court, right?" He laughed at his own joke as everyone else in the courtroom looked on in astonishment.

"Mr. Mitchum." The judge removed her glasses and sat forward in her chair. "Do you understand what pleading guilty will entail?"

"Sure. Yeah. I got it. I go to jail and get to sleep late. I got it, judge."

The woman behind the bench sighed, then went into a monotone drone of what pleading guilty means, no fair trial, no being judged by a panel of twelve of his peers, so on and so on.

"Bastard," I muttered, hating the man even more than I ever had before. An obnoxious buffoon. Keller said nothing beside me, nor did she move. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her face held tight.

The court was asked to rise, and the bailiff came to escort Al away. He stopped the uniformed man and turned to Keller.

"I'll see you in hell," he said, eyes boring into those of his eldest child. I also looked to Keller, wondering if I'd have to go bail her out of jail for patricide, not that it wouldn't be warranted.

"At least I won't be Satan's bitch," she said, her voice low and calm, though I could see the storm brewing. Al glared at her as he was led away, then suddenly turned on his guard and tried to lunge over the wooden patrician that separated the court proceedings from the audience.

"You ungrateful little bitch!" he yelled, clawing against his captors, which now consisted of two more officers. He tried to get past them, but they held him fast, leading him away, his hollered obscenities the only thing giving his presence away.

My heart pounded in my chest, echoing throughout my body and head. Taking several deep, unsteady breaths, I began to calm down. Looking at the janitor, I saw she was far from calm.

"Come on, Keller." I stood, gently touching her shoulder to get her attention. She flinched away and stood. Nothing was said as we left the courthouse.

As I sat on the bench in the amusement park, I smiled slightly. Keller and Parker had gone through things that the average person could never live through, and yet they still stood strong and together. I was damn proud of those two.

I was even prouder as I saw Keller step across the threshold that would take her onto the roller coaster.

*  *  *

I grinned, listening as Keller prattled on and on about how the roller coaster went upside down, then did a "sideways twirly thing," and how it did feel like flying, and when could we do it again?

Parker crashed on the flight home, stuffed Hershey bar wrapped in her arms. I grinned over at Keller, who had joined me up front when the kid had fallen asleep.

"I think Hershey has usurped blue bear." The janitor turned and looked at her sister, then nodded agreement. She looked pretty tuckered herself. It had been a very long day, but I'd gotten some fantastic shots of the sisters. I think both had gotten used to the shutterbug in me. Hell, in a different world, I could easily see Keller in front of the camera. She was beautiful enough, and naturally so. Pissed me off.

We were both quiet the rest of the flight, both caught up in our own thoughts, I imagine. It was getting dark, and as the sun set, seemingly only miles before us, it was truly a glorious sight. I glanced over at Keller to see if she saw it, too. Her head was leaned back against the headrest, her eyes just a narrow slit, watching the golden wonder before us.

"Almost looks like we're about to fly into the gates of Heaven, doesn't it?" I asked, my voice nearly a whisper.

"Do you believe in Heaven?" was whispered back. I sighed, not sure how to answer that question.

"I just don't know, Keller. I suppose Heaven is what we make it to be. A place where people like dad go. You know?" I glanced at her. She nodded and closed her eyes.

*  *  *

The day dawned bright, and there was an air of excitement and fear coursing through the cab of the truck. Parker had been dropped off at school for her first day of first grade, and we were headed to the hangar.

"Her name is Ruby Stanley. She's known dad forever," I explained, checking out the back window for my blind spot, then switched lanes. "She's a great gal. But do be warned," I grinned over at Keller who eyed me back, "she's . . . interesting."

"Great."

I saw the long Cadillac as I pulled up and smiled. How on earth would this play out with the very reserved Keller and the not so much Ruby? The giggle escaped before I could catch it.

We got out of the truck and headed inside. The front office was bursting with laughter as we entered. Keller immediately tried to escape back out the door, and would have had I not caught the collar of her shirt.

Standing before us, in the midst of Reggie, Peggy and Jerome, was a halo of curly red hair with a bright, neon green engineers' cap sitting atop the mess. That hair had been the same color of carrot-top red since I'd known Ruby, which had been my whole life. She was three years younger than dad, but she looked great, and her energy was immense. On her well rounded body, she wore a neon green flight suit, zipped up just far enough to reveal a hint of a tongue of the hot orange shirt she wore beneath.

"Monk!" she shrieked, hurrying over to me and grabbing me in a massive, suffocating-in-huge-boobs kind of hug.

"Hey, Ru," I managed, though it was incredibly muffled. Finally being allowed up for air, she grinned up at me, her dark red lipstick a slash in her face, bright hazel eyes sparkling up at me. I grinned at the familiar patches of rouge that littered her non-existent cheekbones, pink splotches of color.

"How are ya, kid? God, you look great! You must be killin' them ladies!"

"Oh, uh . . ." I glanced over at Keller, who looked like she'd just swallowed a bug. I don't think she even heard Ruby's comment, so lost was she in trying to figure out what evil I was unleashing upon her. Clearing my throat, I turned and reached for her. "Ruby, this is Keller Mitchum. Keller, this is the best pilot you will ever have the pleasure of meeting - Ruby Stanley."

"Hi, honey." Ruby bypassed the traditional handshake of meeting a new person and wrapped Keller up in a body-crushing hug. Keller's eyes bulged and I gave her an apologetic look. Once released, Keller took a step back, eyes still huge and confused. "Ah hell, not one of them standoffish teenagers." Ruby smiled up at her new student. "Not for long!" She smacked Keller playfully on the arm. "Come on, honey. We have a lot of work to do." Figuring the janitor would follow, Ruby turned on her heel and marched out of the room.

All eyes went to Keller, who was still looking after the woman who'd just totally turned her world upside down. Finally blue eyes met mine.

"What the hell was that?" she asked.

"Your flight instructor." I grinned. Jerome snickered. Keller's eyes narrowed, her lips pursing.

"My what?"

"Have fun." I copied Ruby's action, smacking Keller's arm, and headed toward my office with a smile on my face.

*  *  *

I volunteered my Cessna for Ruby's teachings, figuring it would be good for Keller to get really familiar with a plane that would be around for a while. I absolutely trusted Ruby, and knew that she wouldn't steer Keller wrong. In fact, Ruby was one of the best instinctive pilots I knew, yet she still very much played by the book. She was a very smart lady, and would teach Keller everything she knew from her fifty years of flying.

Ruby had met her future husband, Ross Stanley, while she'd been working at her father's candy shop during the mid-1950s. He had been a pilot with the Air Force, and once she'd found that out, Ruby had been smitten. So, Mrs. Ross Stanley she'd become. He'd refused to teach her how to fly, so she'd found those who would. Ruby was a fast learner, and eventually even the military started using her services.

Upset by what he saw to be his wife's betrayal, Ross left her and their four kids, and Ruby had to start flying full time to keep her family afloat. After putting the two girls and one of the boys through college, Ruby had become certified to instructor, and had been doing that ever since. Dad had mentioned Ruby in his will, and I knew she'd be the best for Keller, too.

I just hoped Keller didn't kill her first.

*  *  *

The leaves were beginning to change, and within the next few weeks, would start to fall. That was what I loved most about the East - all the amazing trees and the colors that they brought every year.

I sighed, a bitter/sweet sigh. It had been a good day, Keller's birthday, and a small party with those she trusted most - Parker, Ruby, Jerome and myself. She was nineteen, and no longer the skinny, terrified kid who'd been in her place a year ago. Today was sweet because she and Parker seemed happy, well as happy as Keller can seem, and the business was going smoothly. The bitter was that I knew it was a matter of time before it all ended, and because dad wasn't here to share in the happiness.

I sat on the wraparound porch, chair leaning back, foot up on the rail, watching out over the front yard as two squirrels fought over some bread Parker had thrown earlier to get their attention.

"Miss him, don't you?"

I looked up, startled to see Keller coming up the walk. She'd dropped off Parker's friend, who had come to join in the party, at home. I nodded with a smile.

"You read my mind," I said, sipping from a mug of coffee.

"Nope. Just your face." She rested her booted foot on the top step of the porch. I nodded toward the chair next to mine. She sat down, resting her hands along the arms, and stared out into the yard. "You okay?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I guess. It's just hard. I keep thinking that this time last year, he was here." We were both quiet for a while, watching the two squirrels chase each other around the front yard. I snickered. "If only life were that easy."

"No lie," she agreed. "Thank you for the party today. It was fun." She glanced over at me, then back out to the rodents who were scurrying up a tree.

"You're welcome. Happy birthday." I patted her knee. "Nineteen now, huh?"

"Yep."

"Soon it will be twenty, and there will be no stopping you." I smiled over at her, and she gave me a crooked grin, shaking her head at me.

"Crazy person."

"Yeah." Again, silence filled the late afternoon, the squirrels gone from sight. "Keller?"

"Hmm?"

"How do you deal with it?" I felt blue eyes on me, so I turned to look at her, my face pained. I felt lost.

"You just have to. There isn't any choice. With me it was easy; my mom died to me a long time ago, so I had already grieved when she actually died physically. And Al, well, I wished death on him every day of my life."

"Will you be sad if he doesn't get the death penalty?" My voice was low, not sure how Keller would react or respond.

"No." She looked at me, her eyes hard. "Because then he'll get to spend the rest of his life getting butt fucked by guys just like him. Justice comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes, Garrison."

"I suppose you're right in that." I finished off my coffee and stood to get more. "Want some?"

"Nah. But a coke?" She looked up at me hopefully. I smiled.

"You got it."

When I returned with our drinks, I head the squirt sound as Keller popped the top of her soda can, and I blew across the surface of the hot brew. I had also grabbed a sweatshirt, the late evening giving way to a slightly chilled night. I asked a question I had been wanting to know for a long time, but had never found the courage to voice.

"How did you know about dad that day? At his house." I couldn't look at her, instead deciding to study a single leaf hanging on for dear life to a branch, the ruthless evening breeze tugging at it. Finally it gave up and flew across the yard to join several of its neighbors against the base of another tree.

"Saw his truck in the carport." She sipped from the drink. "The house was dark, way too dark for that time of day, and everything was just way too still. Just felt wrong." I looked over at her, wanting to see how she felt about what she was saying. Her brow was creased, as if she were bothered by this conversation.

"So you stopped me?" I pressed. She nodded, then looked over at me. As the sun began to set, it caught her eyes and made them glow. It reminded me of that first day I had seen her at the hangar, the way the sun made the blue electric.

"You shouldn't have to see that." We stared at each other for a moment, Keller sending me a secret message of not wanting me to have to witness what she has. She may not have said it, but I knew she had been trying to protect me, looking out for me.

"So complex," I whispered, then smiled. "Thank you, Keller. That was very thoughtful of you." She shrugged, turning back to the yard. We sipped our drinks as the sun went down.

*  *  *

Keller was gone, another lesson with Ruby on a Saturday afternoon. I was bored, and went out searching for Parker. She was nowhere to be found on the bottom floor, so I headed up. Not in the room she shared with her big sister, so I checked in mine. Nothing.

"What the hell?"

I moved on down the hall and saw the third bedroom door was ajar. Gently pushing it open, I saw the kid laying on her stomach on the made bed, crayons surrounding her and her best friend, Roy, chin on paws, watching her color.

"What are you doing, honey?" I stepped further into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Lookey." Parker held up her drawing. It was a huge yellow-orange sun in the upper right hand corner and two stick figures laying on the green grass, looking up at a bunch of swirls in the sky.

"Oh, pretty." I smiled at her, then turned my attention back to the work of art. "Who are they?" I pointed to the figures.

"You and Keller."

"What are we doing?"

"Crying for your mommies in Heaven." She tapped the sky with a small finger.

"Aww, that's sweet, honey." I gave her a one-armed hug, and she leaned against me. "Why are you in here?" I indicated the room around us. Parker suddenly looked frightened.

"I'm sorry." She shrank away from me.

"Oh, no, honey, you're not in trouble. I was just wondering." I gave her my most reassuring smile I could. She relaxed, slightly, then shrugged.

"Don't know." She wouldn't look me in the eye. I ruffled her long, blonde curls.

"Well, if you need anything, you find me, 'kay?" She nodded and looked up at me, bright blue eyes hopeful. I leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Parker grinned huge, then turned back to her coloring.

Wandering downstairs, I decided to pull out some of mom's old recipe cards and see what I could whip up. The yellow ceramic file was on the counter, next to the toaster against the backsplash. The face of the round-faced cook on the front was worn, much of the paint chipped off her rosy features from years of use. The cards inside weren't in much better shape- some yellowed from time, the edges brittle.

With gentle fingers, I flipped through the beloved recipes that once belonged to mom. I remember as a child she would try and get me interested in helping her in the kitchen. She'd pull a stool up to the counter and say, "Now you sit there and watch, little monkey." She would smile at me and kiss me on the cheek. I'd sit dutifully, elbows resting on my knees as my feet clung to the top peg of the stool, and chin resting in hands. She'd explain every single step, every single ingredient, and what it did to 'spice up your creation.'

I decided I wanted to bake, thinking that the girls would enjoy some cookies or maybe brownies. Depending on what I had in the house, I might even be so bold as to make a cake.

Beginning to dig through the cabinets, I felt a small tug on the hem of my shirt. Looking down, blue eyes looked up at me with question.

"Hey, kiddo. Finish coloring?" Parker nodded, looking at the five-pound bag of flour I held in my hands. "I'm going to bake. Want to help?" Flashed with one of the kid's huge, white smiles, I grinned in return. Setting the flour on the counter, I picked Parker up and set her down next to it. "Today, we are going to bake something yummy."

"What?" the kid asked, fingering the white and blue bag of the white stuff.

"Well, I'm not sure." Looking through the lazy Susan, I saw a half bottle of vanilla, baking powder, a bag of chocolate chips and a can of cocoa. Rummaging through the recipes again, I saw one for double chocolate cake. "How about this one? Double chocolate cake." I raised my brows for emphasis, and again, that grin filled with small, even white teeth.

Just like my mother before me, I began to explain what I was doing to Parker, having her help by "gently tapping to crack" the egg shells, then us both watching as the liquid inside poured out into the bowl, careful to not get any shell in with it. The kid watched as I dumped the chocolate chips in, then rested her hand upon mine as I used the hand-held mixer to put it all together. Using a rubber spatula, I got most of the excess off the beaters, then handed one to Parker, me keeping the other. She watched as I ran a finger up the inside of one of the metal rungs, gathering the gooey brown batter onto my finger. She followed suit, then stuck her finger in her mouth, eyes opening wide at the burst of sweetness.

Grinning at her newly discovered delight, I handed over my beater and poured the batter into the pan, stuck it in the oven, and began to clean things up.

Parker sat contentedly on the counter next to the sink, gently beating her heels into the cabinet below, drying the dishes as I washed them.

"Is Keller gonna have a baby?" she asked, startling me to the point of nearly dropping a glass I was washing. I looked at the kid, brows drawn.

"What?"

"Robby said that when a boy puts his thing in a girl's thing that they make a baby." She set the fork aside that she had been drying, as if this were any ordinary conversation for a six-and-a-half-year-old to have.

"Oh. Well, uh, no, honey, Keller isn't going to have a baby."

"But Al put his thing with her thing." She looked so adorable when she was confused, even though I was utterly disturbed.

"Yes, honey, I know." I turned back to my sink of dishes and hot, soapy water. I took a deep breath. "But that hasn't happened for a long time, and Keller would already have her baby if she was going to have one."

"Oh." She was quiet for a moment, grabbing a couple of spatulas from the rinse water to dry. "Is Al dead?"

"Nope. He's in prison," I said, relieved beyond measure to be off of Keller's rapes.

"What that?"

"It's a big place where people go when they've done bad things," I explained, pulling the plug after washing the final glass. I began to sop up the water around the sink with the dishrag.

"Is Al bad? Is he going to hell? Robby said bad people go to hell."

"Robby talks a lot," I muttered. "Al did very, very bad things to you and Keller and your mom, honey." I turned to look at her. "I think Al had bad things happen to him, and that made him bad. I don't know if he'll go to hell or not. That's not for me to decide."

"Is mommy in hell?"

"No, honey. Your mommy is not in hell." I smiled at her and grabbed her under the arms, lifting her from her perch. "But you know what?" She shook her head. "You were a great little helper today." I tapped her nose with my finger and she grinned. Giving her a kiss on the forehead, I set her down and watched her run off to play.

Parker's play wasn't near as violent as it once was, but I still thought it may be a good idea for both sisters to get into some counseling.

I later told Keller what Parker had asked, making the girl go pale for a moment.

"Do you think maybe you should talk to her? Tell her what is and what isn't appropriate? I'm not so sure after living with that monster that she has the right idea." Keller ran a hand through her hair and nodded, wrapping her fingers along the back of her neck.

"I'll talk to her," she said.

"Okay. Whenever, I respect your judgment," I agreed. She looked at me, eyes squinting just a bit for a moment, a look of surprise on her face, then turned and left the room.

*  *  *

I head the heavy footfalls before I looked up to see Ruby standing in the doorway of my office. Her face was hard, eyes serious with painted-on brows drawn.

"What's wrong with that kid?"

"I'm doing fine today, Ruby, thanks for asking. And yourself?" I sat back in my chair, amused.

"Yeah, well, I'm doing shitty." She sat down hard in the chair across from the desk.

"What's wrong?" I tossed the pencil I'd been using aside and gave the older woman my complete attention. Today she had on a neon purple jumpsuit with matching large hoop earrings.

"That girl is stubborn."

"You don't say." I smirked, enjoying the understatement of Ruby's words. "What did she do? Is she being difficult? Won't listen? Won't pay attention?"

"No! She's smart as a damn whip, does everything I tell her to the letter and is a quick study."

"Then what the hell is the problem?" Utterly baffled now, I sat forward in my chair.

"She won't let me hug her! You know what a touchy-feely person I am. Hell, even your dad let me hug 'im, and he was about as stubborn as it gets." She waggled her finger for emphasis.

"So she doesn't like to be touched. So what?"

"How else am I going to be a mother to that girl?"

I burst out laughing, the sound echoing throughout the small office. This, of course, only managed to tick Ruby off more. "I'm sorry." I got myself under control, a few little giggles escaping once in a while. "You're not her mother. You're her teacher and she's your student. What more do you want?"

"That kid needs somebody, dammit, and I intend to be that." She stood, ready to stomp out of the room.

"Ruby?" She stopped, looking at me over her shoulder. "Be careful with her," I advised, my voice quiet and calm. "Keller seems incredibly tough, which she is. Very strong, but there's more to her than that. A vulnerability." Ruby smiled, her sweet, maternal smile.

"I know." A sound at the door caused us both to turn to see Gabe lingering near the frame.

"Oh! Who is this delectable bit of man?" Ruby stepped aside to let Gabe in. His dark good looks caught many a woman's eye. I chuckled at the display the old woman was making, and the way it made Gabe blush.

"This is my friend Gabe, Gabe, my older friend, and Keller's flight instructor, Ruby."

"Very nice to meet you." Ruby smiled, extending a hand with bright red nails for Gabe to shake. He turned on the charm and took it.

"Likewise."

I rolled my eyes. Ruby giggled like a little girl and left us. My friend shook his head and plopped down in the chair the redhead had just vacated.

"What brings you here?" I asked, sitting back in my chair and running a hand through my hair.

"What, I have to have a reason to come and see my pal?" He asked, raising a dark brow. I nodded.

"Yup. Yes, you do."

"Gee golly. Don't I feel loved."

I rolled my eyes. "You are such a drama queen." I chuckled.

"Hey, I ain't queen nothin'!"

"Ohh, and articulate, too. The ladies and the queers all must love you."

"Garrison-" Our attention was pulled to the door by the sound of Keller's voice. She looked into the office, noticed Gabe, and took a step back out into the hall.

"Yeah, Keller? Come on in." I waved her in, but she stayed where she was, eyeing my friend. "You remember Gabe, right?" She nodded, but said nothing to him.

"We're going up," she said quickly, then hurried away, Gabe nearly breaking his neck to follow her progress back into the hub where Ruby waited. He whistled through his teeth, grinning back at me.

"Dayum!"

"Don't go there, Gabe," I warned. He twisted in his seat again, trying to get one last glimpse of her. "You don't want to go there."

"Why not?" He looked at me curiously. Keller was out of sight, so I had his full attention once again.

"Because she's not interested," I said simply.

"What, is she one of your girls?" He smirked.

"No, not even close. She's just not interested. Take my word for it." An evil little grin spread across my face. "Or you can just ask Reggie."

"Why? What does he have to do with it? He ask her out or something?" He grabbed a handful of the Jelly Belly's I had in a dish on the desk. I slapped at his hand, grabbing my own handful.

"Nope. Not exactly." Popping two cherry-flavored jelly beans in, I chewed thoughtfully. "On second thought, maybe you should try." I don't think he liked the gleam in my eye as he stopped chewing.

"Why? What would she do?"

"Hey Reg," I called out, seeing the blonde mechanic bustling around in the hub. He turned toward me.

"What?" he called back.

"Should Gabe here ask out Keller?" I grinned seeing the shiver go up and down Reggie's body. He shook his head vigorously. "See?" I popped more of the candy into my mouth.

"Oh, now I'm intrigued." Gabe sat forward in his chair. "Do tell."

I rolled my eyes. "Look, bud, you never listen to me, but listen to me this time, okay? Leave it alone. Keller is not interested in you, nor is it likely she ever will be. Got it?"

"Yeah." He popped some Jelly Belly's into his mouth. "Sure." He grinned, dimples winking at me.

*  *  *

The sky was dark gray, snow forecasted before the night was out.

"Come on, guys!" I called, making sure the porch light was on, and the bowl of candy was sitting on the porch. Hearing the stairs squeak, I looked up and immediately had to cover my mouth.

Before me stood Keller and a three-foot-plus-tall pilot. Parker wore the goggles of a pilot, and Keller's leather bomber, which hung on her like a dress. A white scarf had been tied Red Baron style around her neck. Her baggy tan pants were tucked into knee-high boots.

The kid grinned at me as her face was nearly swallowed by the too-big goggles.

"Hey, it's the Red Baron!" I laughed, clapping my approval. I reached for her as she neared the bottom step. The little blonde leaped into my arms, and I flew her around the foyer. "You ready, kiddo?"

"Yeah!" Once set down, Parker ran to the table near the door, almost tripping over her boots, and grabbed her plastic, orange pumpkin for candy gathering. She stomped around toward the door, looking back over her shoulder impatiently as Keller and I donned coats and gloves. Once she saw we were ready, and Tut and Roy were securely on their leashes, we all headed out.

The streets were getting darker and darker, ghost, ghouls and goblins roamed, pillow cases, paper and plastic bags in hand. They yelled to each other and giggled, running around, a bit of freedom for a time, their parents waiting patiently for them to return with their loot.

"Where do you want to start?" I asked, looking down both sides of the street, all the houses' porch lights burning bright, inviting young trick-or-treaters over for a snack.

"Why don't we go to the end of the block and work our way back?" Keller offered, glancing over at me before eyeing a wobbly penguin across the street.

"Sounds good." Each of us grabbed one of Parker's hands, and headed to the last house on the block. The air was cold, but the level of Parker's excitement made it bearable. Hell, in truth, I was just as excited as she was. I loved to see Parker be the kid she was.

Keller and I had to encourage the kid to speak to the people who opened their doors. She was shy and unsure, often leaning back into Keller's legs for physical and emotional support. The janitor would lean down and softly tell the little pilot to say trick-or-treat. Big blue eyes would look up into the adoring ones of the house owner, and finally she'd mumble it, usually around the finger nervously tucked just inside her lip.

The kid was allowed to eat a few pieces of candy on the way, after it was thoroughly checked by one of us, of course.

After two long, cold hours, Parker had her fill, and her chattering teeth told us that it was time to go home and drink hot apple cider in front of the fire.

Many squeals of delight, and dozens of candy wrappers later, Parker lay asleep in my lap, head resting against my chest. My hand continued to absently run through her hair, my chin resting against the top of her head.

"I think she enjoyed herself." Keller glanced over at my whispered words and nodded, looking into the flames, hands wrapped around her mug of hot chocolate. "When is the last time either of you went to a dentist?" I asked, brushing more hair away from the angelic face of my lap mate.

"It's been years," Keller said, eyes never straying from the fire. "Parker should go."

"You, too."

"I'm fine." She finally glanced at me. "Let me know how much it will cost."

"Stop it. I'll take care of it." I gently kissed the top of the kid's forehead.

We were silent for some time. I even glanced over at her to see if she'd fallen asleep. Nope, just staring into the flames.

"Are you okay?" I asked, rubbing my cheek against the softness of Parker's hair. Keller nodded, then glanced over at me. The irritation from earlier was gone, replaced with deep thought and concentration, resulting in a small crease between her eyes.

"Garrison, I've been thinking about something."

"Okay. What is it?"

"Maybe getting my own place for me and Parker."

"Oh." I felt my heart skip a beat, and my stomach acid start to go into overdrive, making me want to lose that last handful of candy corn I'd eaten earlier. I could feel Keller's eyes on me, as if she were studying my reaction. "Well, uh, you know you're not a captive here, Keller." I met her gaze, trying to hide the pain in my own. "You're free to go at any time."

"Do you want us to go?" Her voice was small, almost as though she were afraid of the answer. I shook my head.

"No," I said simply. She nodded, turning back to the flames.

PART 13

EVERYONE WAS SILENT, seeming to hold their breath as the judge read over something, her reading glasses placed precariously at the tip of her nose, her eyes, which were colorless at this distance, scanned across the pages in her hand.

Keller sat next to me, her fists clenched at her sides, face like stone, her eyes fixated on her father. We were the only folks I the audience, except, of course, the reporter who had been covering the case from the beginning. Looking back around, I saw Al sitting next to his lawyer, hands chained together then to his body with a belly chain. I guess they didn't want a repeat of the preliminary hearing. We could see mainly the back of his head, and just a slice of his profile. He looked bored, his attention also seeming to wander all over the courtroom.

Finally the judge spoke, garnering all attention. "Mr. Mitchum, I have read over the Investigative Pre-Sentencing Repot, and to be perfectly honest with you, I've made my decisions based on your level of cooperation, or in this case, lack there of. I do not believe you have any remorse for the crimes which were committed, nor do I believe you wish to be rehabilitated. Therefore, without further ado, Albert Winchell Mitchum, you are being accused of second degree murder in the heat of passion. How do you plead?"

"Guilty." Al said, standing next to his lawyer.

"I sentence you to ten years to life for this crime." Al did not move, did not respond, and neither did Keller. The judge continued. "You are being accused of sexual assault on a child, victim over the age of fifteen, in a position of trust, how do you plead?"

"Guilty."

"I sentence you to ten years to life for this crime, to run consecutively with your first sentence. You are being accused of attempted first degree murder. How do you plead?"

Al took a deep breath, "Guilty." He sounded resigned. "Look judge, I'm guilty, okay? Do we have to go through all this malarkey?"

"Mr. Mitchum, I sentence you to ten years to life in a state correctional facility for this crime. You are being accused ..."

The judge's voice trailed off in my head, leaving only a few words to register, sexually assaulted a child ... under age of fifteen ... abuse ... domestic violence. On and on she went, my stomach roiling with each and every charge. My mind was whirling, a tempest of emotions, all aimed toward Keller and Parker. I glanced over at her, so badly wanting to comfort her. I knew she'd never allow it, but I wanted to. I wanted to take this girl into my arms and soothe away her pain. Keller was no child, and I sure as hell didn't see her as one, but I wished so desperately that she'd allow me in just enough to help her without regret or her feeling she owed me. I wished she'd see me as the friend I wanted to be.

I sighed, my attention returning to the proceedings before me.

"Do you understand everything I've told to you, Mr. Mitchum?"

"Yeah."

"Good luck to you, sir."

"All rise."

As I stood, my eyes were riveted to Mitchum. When the judge left, the guards, four of them, came toward him to take him away. I looked over at Keller once again, the news settling into my mind finally that Al was being sentenced to over one hundred years in prison for nearly fifteen charges, each carrying heavy sentences.

As Al was lead from the courtroom, he looked over his shoulder, meeting Keller's gaze. Time seemed to stand still in that moment, blue eyes meeting brown, silent communication passing between those who share blood. His look seemed to say so much, convey to much. It seemed to say, okay, kid. You're on your own. Take care of yourself. In the next breath, it said, you bitch. How could you do this to me? When I looked at Keller, her gaze was just as telling. Why did you do this to us? Why couldn't you be a father? Goodbye.

She watched until he was gone, then looked down. She unclenched her fists, one hand grabbing the other, entwining her fingers, holding on to herself. She sat there for a moment, then stood, turned and headed out of the courtroom.

*  *  *

Keller's eyes remained on the world outside the truck, the scenery passing us by, trees bare on the afternoon of November 5. Over the past year and some change I'd gotten to know her moods pretty well, and lord knew there were enough of them. This one was different. It caused her to be even more introverted than usual, as though she were in her own little world, lost to the rest of us.

I reached over and patted Keller's knee. She didn't react, not even the involuntary flinch that accompanied most of my touches that caught her by surprise. She just didn't react at all, as though I had never touched her. As we passed beneath a bridge, in that moment of darkness, I saw her face reflected in the passenger side window, her eyes closing for just a moment, squeezing shut, then opening.

My heart hurt, beating rapidly, painfully in my chest. I hurt for her. Today she had lost what was left of any semblance of normalcy, or chance of it. Al was gone. Forever.

Later, the there of us sat at dinner, Parker quiet, picking up on her sister's mood. Keller barely ate, instead staring off into space, her hand absently moving her fork around through the spaghetti, twirling the noodles, only to let them fall off again with a sickening plop. Eventually, she put her fork down and stood, grabbing her half-drank glass of milk, pouring out the unwanted, and putting the rinsed glass into the dishwasher. She walked past Parker and I, leaving her plate on the table. Unusual for her to leave a mess, I sighed, feeling so heavy for her.

Parker sat on the countertop, drying the pans I washed, me not liking them to go though the dishwasher. I tried at chatter with the kid, but she wasn't real interested. I knew her mind was on her big sister, but I kept trying. Suddenly the swinging door opened, and Keller peeked her head in.

"Parker," she looked at her sister. "I need to talk to you." Then she was gone. The kid hopped down, glancing up at me before she placed her dishtowel on the edge of the sink, and slowly making her way out of the room. I sighed again and continued with the few dishes that were left.

Walking out of the kitchen, I heard soft murmuring. When I glanced into the living room, I saw Keller sitting in the window seat, her back against the sill, and Parker snuggled back against her, between her older sister's legs. Keller's arms were wrapped around the kid, and she was speaking so softly into Parker's ear. The little blonde nodded, her eyes fixated on the flames dancing in the fireplace. As I was about to leave the room, giving them their privacy, I heard,

"But you've still got me, okay?"

I climbed the stairs, feeling so very old and tired with every single step. I made it to my room, and though it was only after seven in the evening, I decided to go to bed.

*  *  *

The morning cruised in bright, early, and irritatingly chipper with birds singing their little lungs out. With a groan, I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, trying to get the sun out from my paper-thin lids. No good. Another growl, and a hasty flop, I turned my back to the irritation. It was Saturday morning, for crying out loud! And it was only, I glanced over my shoulder to take in the alarm clock's red numbers, eight-fifteen in the morning.

"Damn." Rolling onto my back, I cursed my lack of being able to go back to sleep once awakened. Grumbling to myself as I got up, slipping on some flannel pants and a sweatshirt, I got the dogs up and going, and headed out. They ran past me, tags jingling as eight heavy footfalls pounded down the stairs. Thank god for good balance. Running a hand through my hair, about to follow the boys down, I noticed that the third bedroom's door was slightly ajar. Brow crinkling at the unusual position, I headed over there, and quietly pushed the door open to peek inside.

The full-sized bed was in disarray, covers spread all over the place and the smallest bit of blonde hair was sticking out on one of the pillows. Blue bear was laying on the floor with Turtle, Parker's other bed buddy.

I was confused. What the hell was the kid doing sleeping in here? Behind me I heard movement, and turned to see a sleep-tousled Keller walking across the hall toward the bathroom. She glanced over at me, dark hair piled all over her head.

"Why's Parker in there?" I hitched a thumb over my shoulder toward the third bedroom. The janitor shrugged.

"She wanted her own room."

"Oh." I watched as Keller made her way into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. "She waned her own room." With that, I headed downstairs to let the boys out.

*  *  *

"We're going where?" Blue eyes looked at me, questions in their oceanic depths.

"Beds, Baths and Beyond, thank you very much." I said, looking over my shoulder to make sure I wouldn't hit anyone as I changed lanes.

"What is that? Are we getting more paint there?"

I chuckled, thinking of the cans of pale blue and white paint sliding around the bed of the truck. "No. That, dear Keller, is where we're going to start looking for new sheets and a new comforter for Parker's new room, like we talked about." I smiled over at the kid in question, and she beamed back up at me. "What do you think of that, kiddo?" I tweaked her nose as I stopped for a stoplight. She giggled and hugged blue bear to her.

Finally getting to the store, the three of us took in all the aisles filled with cool stuff for just about every room of the house. All the extra odds and ends and knick knack-type stuff. The Mr. Beer made me smile, thinking how much Gabe would love me forever if I got that for him for Christmas.

Keller and I had sat down with Parker, wanting to know what she'd like to be staring at for the next, who knew how long. Could be days, months, or maybe, hopefully, years. The kid had said with certainty, "Clouds and sky." So be it.

Getting to the linens section of the store, we scanned the rows up on rows of sheet sets, individual sheets and pillow cases, and comforters, looking for just the right one.

"Ohh!" Parker exclaimed, pointing toward one of the displays. The comforter was pale blue with puffy white clouds bouncing all over it, and little dogs with golden halos on their heads sitting on a few. "Roy!" Parker ran over to the display to get a closer look. Keller and I swapped a look, then followed suit. We watched as the little blonde exclaimed over the colors, how soft it was, and told us in certain terms, "I want it."

I looked to Keller, bottom lip sticking out in a pout. "Can she have it, big sis?" Blue eyes narrowed, taking me in like I'd lost my mind. Sighing, she nodded and both Parker and I whooped in excitement. I found a salesperson, explaining that there was only the display of the comforter, and that we just had to have one. With a smile and wink at Parker, who was hiding behind my legs, he sauntered into the backroom, returning ten minutes later with the cloud comforter wrapped in a clear, plastic bag that zipped. I could feel small, excited fingers dig into the side of my thigh. Grimacing slightly, I took the comforter with a smile. "Thanks so much." The sales guy smiled back and walked away.

The search was on for sheets to match. Parker took hold of Keller's hand as Keller and I split up, each taking one side of the aisle. I head Keller snort, and turned to see she was holding up a set of sheets with little, cartoon airplanes all over them.

"I think you should get those, Keller." I gave her a shit-eating grin. She glanced over her shoulder at me, brow raised.

"Yeah. More like you."

"Okay." I snatched them from her hand and tossed them into the buggy I was pushing. She looked shocked, glancing into the cart to see if I had, in fact, put them in there to buy. I smiled at her, challenging her to say anything. Shaking her head, she turned back to the task at hand.

Finally, after much searching, we found the perfect set of sheets. They were white flannel with a whole rainbow of clouds dotting them. Parker fell in love with them as soon as Keller showed them to her. She grabbed the package, looking at it from every angle, and finally holding it to her small chest, a cheesy grin plastered across her face. Keller and I looked at each other, and at the same time said,

"Found 'em."

An hour and a whole lot of money later, we were finally headed home. Parker was beside herself as we unloaded everything, Keller ripping the tarps out of their plastic to start covering everything. As she did that, Parker and I quickly moved everything small out of the room. The kid happily gathered what she could in small arms, proudly pulling the old comforter from the bed behind her, leaving it in the hall for Tut to commandeer for his lazy ass.

"Are we ready?" I asked, walking into the room, now with only two pieces of furniture in it, the bed and dresser, both covered and shoved to the center of the tarp-covered room.

"Yep." Keller used a screwdriver to pop the metal lid off the can of blue paint, then stuck the thin, wood stir stick in to mix the colors.

"That's a pretty color," I observed, realizing that it looked much like Keller's eyes.

"Sure is." Before I knew what was happening, a paint roller was thrown at me, as well as a white painter's cap.

"Gee, thanks." Tugging the cap onto my head, I walked over to the paint tray that Keller was starting to pour paint into, and Parker was leaning over it, watching in awe as the creamy paint flowed in. "Want to help?" I asked her, finding a small paint brush. The kid grinned and nodded. "Okay. Here you go, and the paint only goes on the walls, okay? Nothing else." Parker nodded, and I steered her over to the wall where there was no windows or closet doors to contend with. I still needed to tape those off. So, as the sisters got started, so did I.

The afternoon seemed to flow on quickly, all of extremely busy, trying to get the walls covered with the first coat. Painting was always labor intensive work, but it was nice and felt good. I, for one, was thoroughly enjoying the antics of my roomies. Parker was basically covered from head to toe in blue, which I can't say really surprised me. The white of the wall was covered with small, pale blue handprints and letters. Luckily they were easily painted over.

*  *  *

Two hours later, we all retreated downstairs to get out of the fumes, which were starting to give me one hell of a headache. The room was completely painted, including the white woodwork, so I rewarded us all with strawberry/raspberry smoothies. Parker was playing with the Reddi Whip I'd loaded on top of hers.

"Do you like the color, sweetie?" I asked, sipping leisurely from my drink. The kid nodded, golden curls bouncing in time. "What do you want on your walls?" I glanced over to see Keller doodling on a pad of yellow legal paper. She brought the pen up to her mouth, very even, white teeth chewing lightly on the tip. I leaned over the table to try and get a peek. I was utterly amazed at what I saw. There was an entire landscape emerging from the page. A B-52 Bomber rode the skies, filled with clouds and even a very realistic eagle. Below there were in indiscriminate buildings and houses, the ground pocked with trees and cars.

Blue eyes looked up at me through dark bangs. I sat back, allowing my feelings to show.

"That's really good, Keller. I didn't know you could draw." She shrugged, turning her attention back to her doodle where she was finishing a fire hydrant on a street corner. "Huh. I guess we all know who will be drawing and painting the clouds on Parker's walls." The blue eyes shot up this time, meeting my own twinkling ones, which quickly took on a pout that Parker joined in on. She looked from one to the other of us.

"You're creating a monster," she said, eyeing me. I grinned big then turned to the kid.

"Tell her, Parker." With absolute clarity and seriousness, Parker said,

"Us sista's got to stick together."

Keller's eyes nearly fell out of her head, and her tongue right along with it. "What are you teaching my sister?!"

"To be assertive."

Keller sat back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest, eyes narrowed at me. "Sneaky."

"But true." Us blondes smiled sweetly at the janitor, which made her smile in turn, small, but there, charmed.

"Pest," Keller muttered as she stood, taking her drawing with her. I turned to the kid.

"Did you hear that, Parker? She called you a pest."

"I was talking about you." A soft voice said. I looked up to see blue eyes boring into me. I smirked, meeting her gaze for a moment, then she turned and left the room.

Parker and I sat in identical positions in the middle of Parker's new room's floor- legs Indian style, elbows resting on knees, chin resting in hands. We watched as Keller, who declined any help whatsoever, measured things, made little sketches on her yellow pad, and then set about to drawing on the blue walls. Soon enough puffy white clouds began to emerge, including a bright sun in the corner, smiling down upon Parker's bed. With precise touches and a brow crinkled in concentration, Keller began turning the room into a sky full of clouds and wonder.

Parker, unable to stop herself, got up and began to look around with an open mouth and awe in her eyes. It was so realistic, I could almost hear the birds singing. An idea struck me, and I hopped up, grabbing my keys and wallet, and hurried out the door.

Less than an hour later, I was unfolding a soft, green carpet across the hardwood of Parker's bedroom, at the foot of her bed. The color was that of a beautiful summer-green grass. The kid immediately laid down on it, looking up at the clouded ceiling, much like she did with the real sky.

"I have another surprise." I reached into the bag from the store, and pulled out a package of glow in the dark stars. Keller walked over to me and plucked them from my fingers.

"Thanks." She started to walk out of the room, Parker hot on her heels.

"Hey!" the kid called out, tugging on her sister's arm until an all out wrestling match ensued, them both laughing and grabbing at each other, trying to keep the stars away from the other. Of course, Keller let Parker win. With a triumphant whoop, the kid stood, package of stars held high over her head. Victorious!

"What the hell is going on here?"

All three pairs of eyes turned to see who had interrupted our fun. Ruby stood in the doorway of the room, large gold hoop earrings matching the shimmering shirt she was wearing, with matching gold shoes. My eyes widened at the ensemble.

"We were playing, thank you very much." I said, taking the stars from the kid's hands and tearing into the plastic. The older pilot walked into the room, taking it all in. She looked at everything, including the rug. "You're as bad as dad. Doesn't anyone knock anymore?" I looked at the redhead over my shoulder as I poured the plastic stars out onto the covered bed, sorting them by the four sizes.

"Why? You know me, I know you, no longer strangers." Ruby grinned, brown eyes twinkling with a light of a woman half her age. She turned to Keller. "Hey, kid." Walking over to her, she took the janitor in a bone-crushing hug, which Keller allowed! I was stunned. With a shy grin as they parted, she even withstood Ruby ruffling her hair! What's up with that? She doesn't let me touch her that way. "I'm on my way out for a run to stretch my air legs. Wanna go?"

"Yeah!" Keller's eyes lit up, and she hurried into her bedroom. Ruby looked back at me, a satisfied smile on her face. My brows drew, and I felt Parker's small arms winding themselves around my leg, her blue eyes looking shyly up at the pilot.

"I'm real proud of you, sweetie." Ruby said, her smile deepening.

"What for?"

"For what you've done with these two beautiful young women." She smiled at Parker, winking. The kid very slowly smiled back. "Good kids, both of them."

"Oh," I looked down, feeling rather shy, and brought a hand through my hair. Ruby laughed.

"Still do that, huh? You always did that as a kid when you was tired or nervous. Look wide awake to me, kiddo."

I met her gaze, me looking very sheepish and shy, turning more red by the moment.

"Ready." Keller said, coming back into the room, having changed into the flight suit I'd given her. Ruby looked her over with approving eyes.

"Come on, kid. Let's hit it." Together they walked out, Ruby looking over her shoulder. "Don't wait up." I smiled at her, waving them off.

*  *  *

"Get in, sweetie." I held the covers back for Parker, watching her scramble under the covers of her new comforter and sheets. We were surrounded by a sky of blue and clouds of white. It truly was wonderful. Keller was still out with Ruby, and I tried not to worry. I knew she was okay, but it was hard, not fully knowing where she was. "You comfy?" I asked, pulling the covers up and tucking them under the kid's chin. She nodded, big blue eyes looking up at me, worry knitting her brows. "What is it, honey?" I sat on the side of the bed next to her.

"Is Keller coming back?" she asked, her voice small.

"Oh, honey." I smiled affectionately at her. "Of course she is. Why would you say that?" Parker shrugged narrow shoulders, disrupting the warm cocoon I'd created for her. "Honey, she just went out with Ruby. She's fine, and will be back before you know it." I tweaked her nose, making her giggle. I smiled, cocking my head to the side. "You don't have anything to worry about, little one." I leaned down, rubbing my nose with hers. "I love you, kiddo." I whispered, and she smiled.

"I love you, too, Monk."

My eyes widened. "Monk, huh? Where did you hear that?"

"Jerome."

"Well, goodnight, Parker."

"Goodnight." A final kiss on the forehead, I switched on the rainbow-shaped nightlight near the door, and gently pulled the door mostly shut, leaving just a sliver. Heading into my bedroom, I dug through the other bag I'd brought home when I'd picked up the rug and glow in the dark stars for Parker. I smiled at my other purchases, hoping they'd be well receipted.

Walking to Keller's room, I flicked on the light, startled to see the array of posters she had hung up all over the place. Where had she gotten them all? There were pictures of various types of planes, mostly jets and bombers. There was the Stealth Bomber flying high, over the closet door, what appeared to be a cut out picture of the Air Force Academy's unique chapel in Colorado Springs, Colorado. The Seal of the United States of America was hung over her bed.

As I turned in a slow circle, taking it all in, seeing all the models she had put together, proudly displayed on everything that would sit still, mostly of fighter jets and really fast planes. What did it all mean? Did she want to go to the Academy? Did she want to fly jets? I didn't know. The room was kept immaculate. There wasn't anything on the floor, everything was put away, hidden from view. The dresser and bed tops were dusted and shone under the ceiling light. Even the windowsills were speckles.

Remembering why I was in there in the first place, I grabbed the large plastic bag, and went to work.

*  *  *

My eyes were getting so heavy, must stay awake. Tired, no must stay awake. Want to make sure she won't be mad .... My eyes began to flutter shut when I heard the tell tale sound of an ancient, sputtering Cadillac pull up. The engine idled for a moment, then the big, heavy door squeaked open and then shut. The car drove away, and there were footfalls up the walkway, then the squeak of the screen door opening, and finally, after a key was placed in the lock, the heavy front door swung open.

Please don't be mad, Keller. Don't be mad.

My heart began to pound as I heard booted steps upon the stairs, and a door open slightly. I figured it was probably Keller checking on Parker from the distance of it. Then, finally, making me hold my breath, she headed to her own room. The light was flicked on, then quickly off. I heard a quick intake of breath, then nothing. I figured the janitor was looking up at her decorated ceiling, the stars bright and visible from being exposed to light for many hours. The designs were a copy of the constellations in the night sky, and Keller's name written in the stars.

The light was flicked back on, and I imagined she was taking in the new comforter that covered her bed- various shades of blues and creams to compliment the new, soft rug I'd gotten. New cream-colored flannel sheets were neatly folded over the comforter with new, fluffy pillows atop it.

I had taken several liberties, but I really hoped that Keller would see the good I meant behind it. I knew that her room was indeed hers, and therefore was her own private sanctuary. I waited, wondering if she'd come in and ream me a new one. A heartbeat went by, then another, then the soft clicking of her door shutting.

Letting my held breath go, I rolled over and went to sleep, a satisfied smile on my face.

*  *  *

I heard the kitchen door swing open, and forced myself not to look at Keller as I flipped the pancake that was on the spatula. I started when I heard the scraping of a kitchen chair, then realized Parker, excited to see her big sister, had hopped up to run over to her.

"Hey, kiddo." Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Keller bend down and catch the flying Parker into a massive hug. "How are you? Do you like your new room?" Blonde curls bounced as the kid nodded.

"The stars were bright all night! Just like a sky!"

"Oh yeah? Pretty neat, huh?" Keller grinned at the nodding kid. "Come on, you. Breakfast looks ready." Blue eyes met mine, and I quickly looked away. I wasn't quite ready to face the possible wrath.

Breakfast was a quiet affair, Well, that is, quiet for me. Keller and Parker chatted, the janitor telling her baby sis all about her flight with Ruby, and all that they saw and the places they went. I listened, surprised to find that I was slightly jealous.

Finding this very disconcerting, I straightened in my chair, brows drawing at the thought. When I noted that I was being stared at by two pairs of blue eyes, I relaxed, deciding it wasn't worth the trouble thinking about something so petty and unlikely as jealousy.

"So, you had fun?" I asked. Keller nodded as she took a bite of her syrup-drowned pancakes. She chewed then answered.

"It was great."

"And you said you went to the Vineyard?" I had overheard her telling Parker something about Martha's Vineyard. Again she nodded.

"Did you know she's got a place out there? It's really cool." Keller took a long pull from her glass of milk then continued. "It's not a very big place, but she's got what she needs. It was great." Keller's eyes were lit up like twin candles, and I suddenly got a nagging feeling in my gut. I smiled though, trying to be as supportive of what I thought was in her mind as I could.

"Yeah, it's a great little place, I'm sure. Ruby has good taste." The janitor smiled and nodded, looking down at her mostly eaten breakfast.

"Yep. We're going flying later." Her voice was suddenly quiet. She looked up at me through her dark bangs. "Is that okay?" I was taken aback by the question.

"Keller, you do what you want to. I told you, you're not a prisoner here." She met my gaze for a brief moment, then nodded and stood.

"I have to get ready." Taking all of our dishes to the dishwasher, she quickly rinsed them under the faucet, then loaded them in the machine. Walking toward the door, she stopped, turning halfway around before meeting my eyes. "Thank you, Garrison. It looks really cool." I smiled, relief plowing through me.

"You're very welcome. I'm glad you like it."

"Thanks. Can I have this?" she had grabbed the newspaper from yesterday, holding it up for me to see.

"Sure."

"Thanks." She was gone.

Later in the day, once Keller had returned home, I saw that same paper lying on the dining room table, the red Sharpie used to circle possible apartments, still on the table next to it.

*  *  *

Soft hands make their way up my leg, nails giving me chills as they glide across the inside of my thigh, just barely glancing off my panties. A soft sigh escapes my lips, legs slightly spreading, wanting more, wanting the slight tickle of soft hair running across my skin.

"Yes,"

The hands continue to move, just sliding right over where I need them the most. Groaning, I try to move my hips so those hands will find my heated skin once more. Soft lips trace around my bellybutton. Even softer fingers find the waistband of my panties, slips inside, and my hips thrust to meet the touch.

"Please,"

I bite the inside of my lip, trying to keep quiet, not wanting to wake up Parker. Hot breath on my neck, making me smile as it tickles the tiny hairs there. The fingers glide inside the warmth of my wetness, coaxing another groan from me. Wetness on my face, making me flinch in surprise, but the stroking continues, my body responds to every single sensation. More wetness on my neck, then more hot breath, then fur ...

Bolting awake, I look to see Tut staring at me, big brown eyes wide with pleading. "Jesus, Tut!" I pushed him away, embarrassed and still completely, frustratingly aroused from my dream. He whined at me, doing his little tap dance with his front paws on my leg, telling me needed to pee. With a heavy sigh, I remove the hand that was down my pants, that I hadn't even realized I'd put there, and shoved the covers away.

I tiptoed over to Parker's room, pushing the door open just enough to get Roy's attention. He looked up at me, realizing what I was offering him, and shot off the bed, joining me and his brother in the hallway.

"Quiet, boys." I whispered, Tut ignoring me as he shook his body, tags rattling away. Or was that the marbles in his head? We made our way down the stairs, the house quiet as the blanket of darkness lay heavily over Warwick.

The backdoor popped open, and the dogs nearly knocked me down to race outside. Growling at them as they passed, I decided to follow. It was a beautiful night, and the cool breeze felt good. Wrapping my arms protectively around myself, I closed my eyes and brought my face up to the night sky. The cool, fresh air felt and smelled good, and I couldn't suppress the smile. However, when I opened my eyes, I was started to see a face looking out the window.

In the upstairs window, Keller stared out at the night sky, her forehead resting against the cool glass. She was in her bedroom, and I wondered what she was doing awake at such a ridiculous hour.

Looking back to my boys, I saw that Roy was squatting to take a shit while Tut sniffed around for the perfect spot. "Come on you queen. Piss already," I muttered. Doing just that, I let the dogs in ahead of me, and I headed upstairs.

Padding down the hall, the cool wood beneath my bare feet, I eyed Keller's room, the door tightly closed. I paused, turning so I stood before the solid oak, my hand raising as if to grab the knob, then I turned, ready to head back to my own warm bed when my feet wouldn't move. I glanced once again at the door. Remembering the haunted look in Keller's face, I raised my fist instead, and knocked, very softly.

For a moment I thought perhaps she'd gone to bed, but then I heard a muffled, "Yeah?"

"Can I come in?" Another pause from inside the room, then,

"Sure."

The door creaked slightly, and then I pushed it closed behind me, not wanting to wake the kid. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room, but then all the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling began to take shape, and I saw the solitary figure sitting at the window seat. She was merely a silhouette, but I knew she was looking outside.

Carefully making my way over to the window, I also looked out, seeing the backyard spread before us, and the new patch of dirt Tut had created to bury his fecal treasure.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, looking down at the beautiful girl, her chiseled good looks turned silver from the moonlight streaming in. She nodded, but didn't look at me. "Beautiful night out, huh?"

"Yeah." Keller said, but nothing more.

"Do you want me to go?" Broad shoulders shrugged.

"Stay or go, Garrison. It's your house."

"But it's your room."

Blue eyes looked up at me. "I really like what you did in here." She nodded toward the rest of the room behind us. "At first I was kind of mad, you know, coming in here, well ...,"

"Uninvited?" I asked, a slight smile quirking up the right corner of my mouth. She looked down, a shy smile of her own, but nodded.

"But then I realized that you were doing something nice for me, so I stopped being mad. Now I just like it. It was, um, well, yeah, pretty cool."

I suddenly felt my chest fill with caring for this girl. "You're welcome, Keller." My hand reached out of its own accord and settled on her back, feeling the cool, silky strands of dark hair beneath my fingertips. "What's got you up so late?"

The air suddenly became much more stiff, along with Keller's body. I nearly took my hand back and rescinded the question, but changed my mind. Instead I began to trace small, slow circles around Keller's upper back with my palm. It didn't take long before she relaxed. Slightly.

"You can always talk to me, you know. Whether you realize it or want it, I am your friend."

"Why?" She looked up at me, pain-filled eyes.

"Because I care about you, Keller. I care so much about you and Parker. How could I live with you two, who are so wonderful, for over a year and not care? Hmm?" The janitor shrugged again.

"I don't know, and I don't get it." She sighed.

"Well, either way, you want to tell me what's got you so sad?" I sat on the window seat next to her, mindful of the space between us, save for my hand continuing to make its rounds over her back.

"I," she sighed, obviously struggling over something. There was silence as Keller got her thoughts together, I figured trying to decide what to tell me, and what not to. "There's a lot of stars out there." She nodded toward the heavens, and I followed her lead, not sure where we were going. I nodded, but said nothing. "I wonder if all those stars out there feel lost sometimes. If they feel like no other star or planet knows that one star exists."

"I don't know."

"How does a single star find its own light when there's a billion others twinkling? How does it know where to shine?"

Finally beginning to get an idea of where this could possibly be heading, I continued to rub circles on her warm t-shirt-clad back. They were beginning to get bigger and bigger until the circles nearly spread across the entire breadth of her back.

"I feel that way." The words were nearly whispered, and it took me a moment to register what had been said. I waited for more. "At one time my place in this world was as Al's blow up doll and whipping post, and as Parker's surrogate mom. Now that bastard's gone, and Parker doesn't need me anymore," I opened my mouth to protest, but she stopped me with a look. "Not like she used to. She has you now, too." Keller was silent again, her head leaning against the side of the window.

"What about flying? Don't you feel you belong in the sky?" I asked, my voice soft, my hand wandering up to Keller's thick, dark hair. It was soft on my fingers as I gently petted it. I smiled as I felt the dark head lean slightly into my hand. The smile that appeared on her face at the mention of flying warmed me.

"You say you're my friend." It was a statement, not a question.

"Most definitely."

"I never had friends before. Well, except maybe for a five year old."

"Yeah, well get used to it, bud. You've not only got me and Parker, but also Jerome. He thinks you're the greatest thing since packaged jerky. Ruby thinks the world of you. And my dad was your friend, too, Keller. Sweetie, you've got more going for you than you even realize. More people in your corner, rooting for you." I smiled down at her. "I know you feel lost, and it's only natural. For so long you weren't given a direction, and weren't even allowed the freedom to chose one. Now's your shot, Keller. I promise you on my father's grave- I'll do everything in my power to see that you and Parker come through this happy and whole. You hear me?" I looked at her with the intensity behind my words. I meant it, and I saw that she knew it.

The janitor nodded then sighed. She looked so tired.

"Come on." I stood, holding out my hand to her. Keller looked at it, then up at me, then stood, and my eyes followed her height. She took my hand, and I led her to the bed. Pulling the covers back, I indicated that she should get in with my head. She did. Only thinking it over for a moment, I quietly told her to scoot her, and she did that, too.

I didn't get in the bed, but sat on the edge, next to Keller's long body. To my utter surprise, she curled herself up, laying her head in my lap. Nearly overtaken by surprise and love, I continued to pet her hair, brushing it away from her face, wanting to see that beautiful vision.

"You look so tired." I said, nearly whispering. It just seemed wrong somehow to use a voice any louder than that, as if some sort of spell would be broken, and Keller and I would be thrust back into the light of day where she stayed in her head, and I stayed in mine. For once I felt as though she had tried to reach out to me somehow, like she actually did need someone once in a while. Even if it was merely convenience, I was glad it was me.

As I continued to stroke her hair and watch her falling further and further into peace, Keller fell asleep.

PART 14

I SAT ON THE porch, my gloved hands wrapped around a Bubba Keg of coffee. The stainless steel and blue plastic travel mug was warm against my thigh as I stared out into the snow. The yard was white, a lopsided snowman in the front left corner, by the mailbox. One of my old scarves had been donated to the cause of dressing Frosty.

I watched as the flakes swirled around the yard, one daring enough to find it's way to the porch, and land on my denim-clad leg. I looked down at the bit of iced perfection, touching it with the fingertip of my fleece glove. The flake stuck to the material, and I brought it up close, studying it, watching as the light shone through the itty bitty prisms. Suddenly a strong gust of wind came up, taking my subject from me, and sending it back with its nearly identical sisters and brothers.

Sighing, I sipped some more coffee, feeling the warmth spread throughout my body, a wave of liquid fire, warming me from the outside in. That was good, because I sure felt numb.

My eyes kept straying to the driveway then down the street, waiting to see Keller's truck coming.

Ruby told me that she'd finally talked the janitor into seeking counseling for her and Parker. I'm sure, knowing Keller, that the kid was the only reason she'd do it at all. Either way, I was pleased that she agreed to go. Today was their first visit with Dr. Ashley Reynolds. I stayed out of it, trusting Keller to take care of all the details.

I knew that she was nervous about it. Last night she had been quiet and easy to piss off. It had been like walking on glass, so I'd stepped clear, giving her space and a really wide berth. Even Parker seemed to be stepping lightly.

About to get up for more coffee, I heard the loud rumble of dad's old truck, and spied it coming down the road. I stayed put, wanting to see how they were, and how things had gone. I was nervous for them.

The truck came to a stop and the passenger door swung open after a moment, and then the kid was plowing into my arms.

"Hey, you." I hugged her tight, then gave her a face-full of kisses. Over the blonde curls I watched Keller approach. Her face was as expressionless as usual, but I could sense an intensity about her that wasn't usually there. Her eyes were bright and watchful, as though she were waiting for any kind of false move from me. I stood, keeping Parker's small hand in my own, and smiled at the janitor. "Hi." I said, my voice soft.

"Hi." Her greeting was curt at best, her gaze never wavering, making me drop mine for a moment.

"How are you?" I pulled Parker against me, her back to my front, my arms lightly resting around her neck. Perhaps I was using her as a shield. I certainly felt like Keller could attack at any moment. I hadn't seen her so tense in months.

"Fine."

"Are you sure?" I eyed her, silently begging her to let me in. I'd do anything for her to fully trust me and know that she could lean on me whenever, for whatever reason. I'd be her rock, I'd be the one person she could know she could trust and never break against. Oh, if only.

"Of course I'm sure." Keller snapped, glaring at me.

"Okay, okay." I reached a hand out, resting it on her arm. She flinched, but I didn't move. "I didn't do it, sweetie." My eyes bored into hers, making her see the truth in my words. It was a battle of wills for a moment when she finally looked away, nodding.

"I'm cold." She said quietly, then walked past me, going inside. I sighed, smiling down at Parker, who was looking up at me with concerned eyes.

"Did you like Dr. Reynolds, sweetie?" I asked, picking up my Bubba Keg mug and herding the kid inside.

"She's nice." She said, unzipping her coat as we entered the warm foyer of the house. Keller was nowhere to be seen, her jacket hung up on the coat tree the only indication she'd even been there.

"Oh yeah? Tell me about her." We headed into the kitchen, I set about making hot cocoa for the kid and her big sister. I just happened to know that Swiss Miss with the mini marshmallows was one of Keller's few weaknesses.

"We went into this room, and there were lots and lots of toys. There was a huge Barbie doll house with a pink door. And there was this car thing that was pink, too. The Barbie's fit in it!" Blue eyes grinned up at me, little lights dancing in their depths, just a tad darker than those of her sister.

"How exciting, honey." I smiled at her, handing her a cup of hot cocoa, the milk not heated to the temperature of mine and Keller's. I took the can of Redi Whip out of the fridge and grinned at the look of utter joy on the kid's face. She loved playing with the can, making fun designs on the brown surface of her cocoa.

"She talks a lot," Parker wrinkled her nose in disdain, which made me chuckle.

"Did you talk back?" The kid shrugged.

"A little."

"She's supposed to talk a lot, Parker. That's her job. And you're supposed to talk, too." I sat with the kid, stirring my hot cocoa.

"Why?" The little blonde looked at me, truly perplexed.

"Well, see you tell her where it hurts and she helps to make it not hurt anymore."

"Like the nurse at school?" Parker's eyes lit up with recognition of a concept.

"Well, kind of." I thought for a moment, running my fingers through my hair. "She's like the nurse, but instead of dealing with an owie on your skin," I tapped my finger on the Band-Aid that covered a scratch on Parker's hand. "She helps owies that are inside." I tapped my own chest." I could tell the kid still wasn't fully understanding.

I looked around the kitchen, looking for inspiration of some sort. In the corner I spied Tut and Roy fighting over a raw hide.

"Okay. See the dogs there?" blonde curls bounced as Parker turned her head to look. They bounced again as she nodded up at me. "See how they're fighting?" Nod "Well, it's like when you fight with your friend Kayla at school. When you fight it makes you sad, right?" Nod "So then that's not an owie on your skin, but an owie in your heart. Understand?" Nod, nod, bounce, bounce. "Good."

"Can I watch Barbie?" The kid jumped up, nearly knocking her cocoa over.

"Careful, honey." I grabbed a paper towel, wiping up the bit that sloshed over the lip. "Sure thing." I mussed her hair and smiled at her. Grinning back up at me, she got down from the chair, grabbed her cup and very carefully headed into the living room to watch her new favorite DVD.

Smiling, I cleaned up my mess, let the boys out, then poured one last cup of cocoa. Adding whipped cream and a drizzle of Hershey's syrup, I headed upstairs. They creaked under my weight, and I tried to listen above the noise. I heard the quiet hum of music coming from the closed door.

Sighing, I raised my fist and knocked softly, just loud enough to be heard over the CDs that Keller seemed to love so much. The music was cut off, and the door suddenly jerked open. Keller stood there in a white tank top and jeans. I was amazed to see just how much she'd filled out- her shoulders and arms were nicely shaped, muscle just under the skin from all mopping she did down at the hangar. Her breasts were outlined by the slightly tight material of the shirt, her hair a nice contrast against the creamy skin.

Beautiful.

She looked down at me, obviously annoyed. Just for a moment I paused, unsure if I had done the right thing. Maybe I should have just left her alone? Maybe she needed this time to be alone. Maybe-

"What?"

Startled out of my thoughts by the hard tone of her question, I nearly dropped her mug of cocoa.

"Oh, uh, here." I thrust it toward her, a bit sloshing over the side onto my hand. Grimacing, I managed to smile weakly through it. She looked down at the proffered mug, then back into my eyes, one dark brow raised. "It's cold." I said as an explanation. She quirked a slight grin, taking the mug from me.

"Thanks." Her smile grew a bit. I knew she loved the stuff, and she knew I knew.

"How are you?" Remembering my original purpose, I pulled myself together. She eyed me, ever the suspicious one.

"I'm fine."

"Are you?" I crossed my arms over my chest, leaning against the doorframe. Her eyes narrowed slightly, looking into mine as she sipped from the cocoa. "I don't want to pry, Keller. I just want," I sighed, looking down the hall, then back at her. "I want you to know that I'm always here, and always willing to hear you out. Were you to ever need it. Or anything, for that matter. Okay?" She continued to stare at me, sizing me up, then finally nodded.

"Thank you."

"Anytime." Now she got a genuine smile from me. "Listen, Parker and I are watching some Barbie, and you're certainly welcome to join us." With one last smile, I turned and headed back toward the stairs. It was only after I'd mounted the third that I heard Keller's door close.

*  *  *

Parker sat on the floor, happily playing with blue bear and her other dolls, one eye on the escapades of Barbie, Ken, and Skipper. I had the newspaper spread out on my lap, reading about how my boys, the Cowboys, had done in their last game against the Broncos. I just knew that they could go all the way this year if they'd only listen to the advice I shouted out at them during the games I was able to catch.

With a sigh, I tossed the sports section aside, grabbing the classifieds. I was in the market for a new grill. Nothing better than a good steak grilled out back during the summer. Sighing as I scanned ads for various things, including a dog grooming kit, "slightly new" stationary bike and half bald tires, I noticed the ads for apartments and townhouses. Little red circles dotted the surface of the paper, and my heart stopped.

I brought the paper up, peering at the circled ads. One bedroom apartments. Two bedroom apartments. Lofts. In some cases I cringed at the neighborhoods, but then again, I cringed period.

Feeling sick to my stomach, I tossed the paper aside, grill all but forgotten. I took several deep breaths, not even seeing Barbie's blonde, plastic face grinning in the middle of the screen, Parker laughing at something that had happened.

My eyes jerked up when I heard someone enter into the room. Keller looked around, taking in her surroundings as she padded in. She sat on the couch, opposite side from where I was. I glanced over at her, trying my best to hide the hurt in my eyes. I had no reason to be hurt, and certainly no right. She was free to go. She was free to take her and Parker out of my life forever.

The thought broke my heart.

Gathering my composure and tossing the thought from my mind, I smiled at her.

"Welcome. You just missed Skipper's first date." I nodded toward the TV. She smirked.

"I'm heartbroken." We settled in, Tut jumping up onto the couch to cuddle up next to Keller's thigh. She absently ran her fingers through his short hair. My eyes followed the movement, hypnotized. I hadn't realized that I was being watched until Tut raised his head when the hand stopped petting him. My gaze traveled up until it met a pair of quizzical blue eyes. Feeling stupid, I quickly turned my attention back to the movie.

"Popcorn anyone?" I popped up myself from the couch, not looking at two very confused sisters.

I hurried to the kitchen, the door swinging shut behind me in just enough time for me to slap myself on the forehead. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." Sighing, I leaned my head against the coolness of the fridge door. What the hell was I doing, staring like that? God, freak the girl out of her damn mind, and then she will move out. She'll think I'm not damn better than that piece of shit sperm donor of hers.

Pulling myself together, I rummaged around the cabinets until I found some microwave popcorn. Tossing the flattened package onto the glass turntable, I heard the doorbell ring, and the dogs go nuts. The door was opened, and Gabe's voice could be heard greeting Keller.

Scurrying out of the kitchen, I saw that Keller had herself as far from Gabe as was politely possible. She looked at me with desperate eyes when the kitchen door swung open.

"Hey." I said to my friend, who was grinning at the janitor. His dark eyes swung to me.

"Hi. Thought I'd come bug you. See what you and your lovely houseguests were doing."

"Well, for starters," I indicated he should follow as I headed back into the kitchen. "They're not houseguests, but actually live here. Secondly, don't you have anyone else to bug?" For reasons unknown to me I felt irritated at his presence. He leaned against the counter as we both watched the countdown on the microwave.

"Jeesh. Someone's pissy tonight."

I glared at him over my shoulder, then turned to face him. "You know, Gabe. Maybe that's why you don't have a girlfriend. You need to learn not to say stupid shit to women." I was just as surprised as he looked at the harshness in my voice, and the bitchieness of my voice.

"Nice." He pushed off the counter. "Sorry I bothered you, damn." Headed for the door, I stopped him with a hand to his arm.

"I'm sorry, Gabe. Really." I searched his eyes until I saw he accepted my apology. With a small nod, he gently pulled away from me and leaned against the counter again.

"You okay?" He watched as I took the popcorn out of the beeping microwave, tearing the bag open, letting out yummy fragrances into the large room. Dumping the puffed kernels into a bowl, I offered him some. He took a handful, tossing them into the air only to catch them in his mouth. He eyed me, waiting for an answer or explanation.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Just bitchy, I guess. And it's not even that time of the month." I grinned, though it was weak. Gabe got a bit of Italian fire in his eyes.

"Maybe you need a little flight up to New York." He popped some more popcorn into his mouth. I grinned and nodded.

"Maybe not a bad idea." I also began to munch.

"So how are things?" He nodded his head toward the hall and the distant sound of Parker's movie.

"They're good, actually." I looked at him. "What?" Defensive brows rested just above my eyes.

"Look at that goofy grin on your face. What's up, dude?"

"Nothing." I turned away from him, opening the fridge door. "Do you want something to drink or not?" I asked from inside the cold contents. I heard a snicker behind me.

"Yeah. Got any beer?" He asked. I looked at him from around the door.

"Do you really think I'd keep that shit here after what those two have been through?"

"Fine, pain in the ass. What do you have?"

"Anything but beer. Make up your mind. And fast; it's cold in here."

"Apple juice."

I got out the bottle of Treetop and poured us both some. He drank half his glass down, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. I grinned. Just like old times.

"You seem really happy with them here." He said, broaching the subject again. I wished he'd just drop it.

"Yep. I am." I guzzled my drink, hoping that my lack of breath from such a drink would discourage him from continuing. No such luck.

"How long are they going to stay?"

"As long as they want to." I finally answered, setting my glass down. He looked at my glass, which was nearly empty.

"Damn! No wonder you were the beer chugging champion." He whistled through his teeth, impressed.

"Yeah, well I won't let it go to my head." I grinned at him, pouring some more juice. The kitchen door swung open and Parker stepped through, freezing when she saw Gabe. Her wide, blue eyes were glued to him. "Hey, honey." I said, walking over to her and putting my hand to her thick, golden curls. She absently stepped closer to me. "Did you need something, sweetie?" I ran my fingers through the strands, replacing misplaced curls. She nodded, pointing at the juice on the counter. Keller and I were trying to encourage the kid to talk, no matter who was in the room or how uncomfortable she felt. "What do you want, Parker? You need to tell me, honey."

She looked up at me, pointing again, her eyes never leaving mine. I shook my head with a shrug, as if I didn't understand. Dark blonde brows drew in frustration, her little jaw set. "Juice."

"You got it." I smiled down at her and headed toward the counter where the bottle sat. The kid slid across the wall to the door, her eyes never leaving my friend. I handed her the small juice glass. "He won't hurt you, sweetie." I whispered to her. She just looked up at me, then quickly left the room, the door swinging in her wake.

When I looked over at Gabe again, he was looking down at his hands, one ankle crossed over the other.

"Why does that kid hate me so bad?" He asked, looking up at me with the eyes of a rejected child. I sighed, putting the bottle of juice away.

"I don't know, Gabe. She's always been afraid of you. Maybe you remind her of somebody from her past. I really just don't know."

"So they're still acting like freaks, huh?"

"Gabe!" I was livid, my blood boiling through my body. "They are not freaks, and so help me God, if you ever say that or anything like it again, I'll kick your ass out. Got me?"

My old friend stared at me, stunned, eyes wide. I met his gaze, mine never wavering. He looked away first, nodding.

"Sorry."

Deciding to drop it, Gabe dully chastised, I tossed a piece of popcorn at him. Recognizing a reprieve for what it was, he caught it and threw it back.

"So what are you doing here, anyway?" I asked, hopping up onto the counter, gently banging my heels against the cabinets below. Gabe shrugged.

"Just came to see you. We really miss you down at the bar, you know. That cute little brunette keeps asking about you." He grinned, dimples winking at me.

"Yeah, well, that life isn't for me anymore."

"And Barney is?" He pointed toward the living room.

"Barbie. Not Barney."

"What's the friggin' difference?"

"Well, for one, Barbie is an extremely disproportionate blonde woman while Barney is a creepy purple dinosaur."

"And you like this shit?" He looked incredulous.

"No. But Parker does. It makes her happy, and that makes me happy."

"Dude, you are twenty-five years old. Why act fifty? I mean, sitting there watching some stupid kid's movie? That's nuts, and not you, Garrison. I've known you most my life. It's bullshit."

"Yeah, well people change. They grow up, Gabe. Maybe hanging out at Belch's every single night, getting drunk off my ass isn't fun for me anymore. I've got responsibilities , Gabe, and people who count on me." I could feel my anger beginning to boil again. "Don't compare me to you. We're different people now."

"Yeah, but-"

"Gabe, did you come here to see me or to lecture me?" I hopped down from the counter, feathers in a ruffle. Gabe sighed, looking away. He finally raised his hands in supplication.

"Okay. You're right. I'm sorry. Again." We were silent for a moment, both absorbing the words just spoken. "So is Keller seeing anyone?"

I rolled my eyes and Gabe grinned.

*  *  *

Thing of the craziest, most fucked up situation, and that is what the hangar was like over the next few days. Jerome had to get to his daughter as she was going to be giving birth to her first child. Like the proud grandpa he was, my lead mechanic was all grins and cigars.

However, this left us with Reggie and Keller.

"Come on, damn it!" I yelled at the top of my lungs from the office. The two were doing their best to get the Herc up and going. The large plane was having some issues, and the two, less experienced mechanics, were doing what they could to counsel her back into good health.

I had a flight up to Maine and New York tonight, and I wasn't about to miss it or be late. I was having issues of my own, one of which was acute frustration on many levels. It also didn't help for me to be on a long-distance call that came from my dime, and the bitch of a secretary on the other line kept putting me on hold.

Finally her ridiculously sugary voice came back on. "Sorry."

"Yeah, listen, lady, either you put me through to Tony Reeves or you guys lose my business. Got it? I don't have time to sit here and listen to that god awful elevator music you've got piped through there. So what do you say?" There was a steel edge tot my voice that I couldn't help.

"Excuse me, miz Davies, but Mr. Reeves said he sent those orders through two weeks ago, and that you should have received the proper paperwork before that."

"Okay. One more time." I put my hand to my forehead, trying to ease the oncoming stress headache with my palm. "We ... did ... not ... receive the supplies or the paperwork. Now my people are trying to piece this goddamn airplane together with some spit and shit for good measure. We need those seals, miz Ralston. This is not negotiable."

"Well, I'll check with Mr. Reeves again."

"You do that." With a roll of my eyes I slammed the receiver down. "Bitch!" I yelled, then yelled again, "Penny!" Within a few moments I heard the click of her heels on the cement floor.

"What?" She looked around the office, brown eyes huge, looking for god only knows what.

"Did we get paperwork from Reeves' Supply?" I eyed her, daring her to fuck with me right at that moment.

"Garrison, we've been through this. No." She widened her eyes to emphasize her point.

"Fuck! That bitch over there is trying to tell me that it was all sent when I may not get my fucking ass off the ground because of them!" I pointed toward Keller and Reggie, working in silence as they scurried around the plane, back and froth from wing to tool box.

"Whoa, chief." Penny put her hand up in front of her. "Calm yourself down. Gonna give yourself a damn ulcer or something."

"I already have one." Hand to my stomach, I felt the rumbling of stomach acid coming into contact with an open sore.

"Great. And sitting here bitching at me and dumbass over there in Atlanta," she pointed to the phone on my desk. "Is really going to make those parts get here any faster? Cause I mean, honey, if yelling and being an ass makes it any better, than sit there and scream your cute little head off at me." She leaned closer, over the desk, her breasts almost brushing my hand that rested on my desk calendar. "You can make it up to me later in the back seat of my car."

I stared up at her blinking. "You know, Penny, I'm almost horny enough to take you up on that."

"If you're willing I'm ready, sweet thing." Penny grinned, almost triumphantly, brows wiggling. She glanced behind her, then quickly moved aside, revealing Keller standing in the doorway. She had the strangest look on her face. Clearing my throat, I sat up straighter in the chair.

"Hey." I said, a bright smile on my face. Blue eyes switched from Penny to me, then back again. Finally her gaze stayed with me.

"Um, we're finished." Looking more than a little uncomfortable, she slipped away, heading back into the hub of the hangar.

"Shit." I stood, running a hand through my hair. Penny looked from me to where Keller had been standing, and then back again.

"Is she mad?" She asked, her voice a hush. I shrugged.

"I don't know. Guess I'll just not say anything. Let it go." I followed the janitor's progress through the hangar, watching her body language, and to make sure she wasn't going to bolt. She didn't, but did disappear for a bit in the janitor's closet.

*  *  *

Arching my back, I reached my hand down, caressing the silky hair that I found there, the head it belonged to moved under my touch, finding all my most sensitive places.

My eyes squeezed shut, mouth opening as I felt my body coming alive, responding to the knowing touches, forcing my legs to spread wider to grant even more access.

"Oh, yes," I breathed, gasping as I was suckled into a warm mouth. "Oh, baby, yes." My chest heaved as I felt my body rising along with my excitement. "Yes, oh god, yes." Mouth opening in a silent scream, my thighs clenched, trapping the head between them. "Oh, Keller!"

Time stopped. My body stopped. Celeste's tongue stopped.

I looked down between my legs, meeting two widely shocked eyes. My mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out but a pathetic squeak.

Slapping my legs closed, I turned over onto my side, curling m body up like a child. I felt the bed shift as Celeste moved somewhere. She was sitting behind me, but not touching me. Silence, heavy and pregnant.

"I'm so sorry." I finally managed. I heard her sigh, but she still said nothing. Gathering my courage, I tugged the sheet up to my chin, sitting as I hugged my knees to my body. I could only stare at the flowered print on the sheet, unable to meet Celeste's undoubtedly questioning eyes. Finally she spoke.

"Wow. I can't say I expected that." I felt horrible as I met the confused brown eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Celeste." I said weakly, praying that she'd see the sincerity in my own eyes. "I don't know what happened. I'm just as stunned as you are."

"I doubt that." She grabbed her sweatshirt from the nightstand, where it had gotten thrown, and pulled it on, lifting her hair out of the collar. The silence stretched on again. "Want to talk about it?" She finally asked, looking at her fidgeting hands. Reluctantly she met my gaze again.

"What's to talk about?" I stood, finding my own shirt and tugging it on. I sat on the edge of the bed, as far from my friend as possible, not wanting to invade her personal space. I felt like such a shit. She eyed me. "Okay. In all honesty I don't know what to say. I don't know what happened."

"You called another woman's name while I was fucking you, that's what happened." I grimaced at the vulgarity and truth of her statement. "I realize we're not exactly together, but Jesus, Garrison."

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to get it into some semblance of order.

"And not just any woman, but some kid that lives under your roof, that you went and played hero to and saved." She continued. I looked at her, brows drawn, but saw there was no menace behind her words, just honesty. "Is there something going on?"

"No." I looked her in the eye, wanting her to know I was telling the truth. There was no way I was going to let there be any bad light on Keller. She wasn't the fuck up. I had the sole copyright on that one.

"Then what gives?"

"I," I sighed, frustrated by my own lack of ability to verbalize what was going through my head. I tried not to laugh out loud as I realized how grateful I was that Celeste had already come. We didn't need two of us frustrated. I ran my hands through my hair again, slapping my mind back into seriousness. "I just don't know, Celeste. I think," It hit me, and I buried my face in my hands. "God, I think I'm attracted to her."

"What? Honey, I can't understand you." She pulled my hands away from my face. "You're attracted to Keller?"

"Fuck." I said in response. "I am such an asshole."

"Why?"

I looked at her like she was nuts. "What do you mean, why?" How could she not see it? "It makes me no better than that bastard who donated sperm for her creation, Celeste."

"Why?" This time I just growled. "Have you raped her?"

"What?!"

"Have you raped her?" She asked again, her voice just as calm.

"No!"

"Have you ogled her?"

"No."

"Have you made advances? Suggestions that were inappropriate?"

"No and no."

"Then how are you anything like Al Mitchum?" Celeste sat back against the headboard, looking so comfortable and sure. And there I sat, perched on the edge of her bed, hands balled into fists in my lap, unsure and ready to pounce.

I thought about what she said, and I knew she was right. All the same, it didn't stop the thoughts from swirling around my head that I was indeed, no better than Keller's father. I was beginning to gain her trust, beginning to make her, hopefully, feel like she had a home and safe place to go.

"I should go." Running my hand through my hair for a third time, I stood.

"Garrison, why don't you stay and talk to me about this?"

I looked back to the bed, seeing Celeste's concerned eyes, and I smiled, though it was sad. "Because I don't fully understand it myself, hon. I need to think." I pulled on my underwear and jeans, then my shoes. I felt a hand on my lower back as I laced the up. I glanced over my shoulder to see Celeste looking at me, her features tinged with sadness.

"Maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while." She held up a finger to hold off my protest which started immediately. "Just for a while. I think that this whole thing is confusing for you, and I'd be in the way." She leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips. "I'm always here for you. You know that, right?" I nodded, closing my eyes as warm lips pressed against my forehead.

Standing, I reached my hand out for her. Celeste took it, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet and into a warm embrace. We stood like that for several minutes, neither of us speaking, rather allowing ourselves to get lost in familiar history.

*  *  *

My hand tapped to the drum beat of "Pretty When You Cry" by VAST. The scenery of Warwick passed by the windows of my truck, all snowy and white. Beautiful.

As I listened to the words of the song, all lust and not wanting to admit to something deeper, I again thought of my encounter with Celeste. What the hell had all that been about, anyway? Craziness. I felt horrible as I, once again, brought up the hurt and confusion on my sometime-lover's face. How had that happened? What the hell had I been thinking? And where the hell did Keller fit in all of this?

Purposefully passing the exit that would take me home, I drove around the city, letting my truck go where it would. I needed to figure all this out, and do it before I got home and had to face Keller. She had no idea what had happened, and nor would she. She'd be absolutely terrified, and everything I'd worked so hard with her would be all for naught. And what if she decided to leave for sure? And take Parker with her?

It had been almost a month since I had found those circled apartments in the newspaper, and nothing had come of it. I hadn't seen anything circled since, and Keller had said nothing about it. Christmas was just around the corner and I so hoped to have the sisters with me again. This year would be difficult as it was. Thanksgiving was a blur for me. My first holiday ever without dad, and I, again, felt lost, like a child.

I have to give credit where credit is due. Keller had gone out of her way to make it a good day. She had gotten herself and Parker up early that Thursday morning, let the dogs out to go to the bathroom and had them fed, all by time I got my ass out of bed. As I had made my way down the stairs, I had already been able to smell the delectable aroma of freshly baked rolls and could hear a quite banging. When I'd gotten to the kitchen, I'd seen Parker and Keller talking quietly amongst themselves as they'd been pounding peeled potatoes to a pulp. The kid was giggling, and Keller had been grinning.

Enchanted, I had watched the scene unfold, the smell of turkey wafting all around me, making my mouth water. I had started the bird the night before in my mom's ancient roaster- a big white monstrosity that saved the oven from burnt turkey death.

Parker glanced up and grinned, showing off the hole where once her baby tooth had been on top. She hopped down from the stool she'd been using, and ran over to me.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" She called out, wrapping potato-covered hands around my flannel pant-covered leg.

"Thanks, sweetie. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too." I leaned down and kissed the tousled blonde hair. I smiled at Keller who grinned back. "Happy Thanksgiving, Keller."

"Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Garrison. It's about time you got up." I could see the teasing in her blue eyes, so stuck my tongue out at her. She chuckled, turning back to the milk she was pouring into the pan of mashed potato squares.

Padding into the kitchen, Parker ahead of me, I had quickly been assigned to stuffing duty.

Jerome had arrived later in the afternoon before we ate, all of us seated around the big dining room table. My eyes kept glancing over to the chair at the end of the table where dad had sat my entire life. I had begun to glance over there again when I heard my name. Looking over to my fellow diners, Jerome began to talk about my baby, and the improvements he and I had talked about doing to the Cessna. Another time Keller had begun talking about Parker's new teacher, which of course got the kid into the talking, too. Jerome and I listened with smiles on our faces as Parker talked about the Christmas play they were going to do in mid-December, just a couple weeks before Christmas break started for the second grader. I couldn't wait to see the little one up on that stage.

After dinner, I felt drawn to the den, where so many awards and newspaper articles hung. Dad's face smiled back at me as I looked at them, seeing him in his twenties, hometown boy makes good in the Korean War. Frank Davies delivers supplies to the starving in Africa, no money necessary.

"Garrison?"

Shaken from my memories, I turned to see Keller standing in the doorway, her shoulder resting against the dark, rich woodwork. "Do you want pie?" Her voice was quiet.

"Oh, uh, yeah. But you guys go on ahead." I smiled, trying to wave her off. She shook her head.

"Nope. We all ate dinner together, we're going to eat pie together." She pushed off the framework, nodding her head toward the dining room where I could hear giggling from the kid. Realizing she wasn't going to take no for an answer, I followed her and dished up the whipped cream as she sliced pumpkin pie.

Jerome left, me walking him out into the cold night. We stood by the side of his car and he opened his arms to me. I fell into them happily, laying my head against his chest.

"It was a nice dinner," he said, holding me close, making me feel safe and warm. I nodded, but said nothing. "That kid outdid herself, huh?" Again I nodded. "She's a good apple, Monk. Real good apple."

"Yeah, she is." I smiled up at him, stepping back from his embrace. He studied me for a moment, then with a small noise, opened the door, the doom light illuminating the snow piled on the grass.

"Happy Thanksgiving, kiddo." He smiled at me, about to get in. "And you be thankful for what you got, you hear me?" he pointed at me, salt and pepper brows raised. I smiled and nodded.

"I will. Good night, Jerry."

"Night, Monk." A flash of his white teeth, and he was gone. I watched his car go, the red taillights getting smaller and smaller, my arms wrapped around my body, staving off the cold. I sighed, breath coming out in a white puff. Glancing back at the house, I could see Keller had started a fire, the smoke wafting up into the night sky, mingling with the low-slung clouds.

The cold getting the better of me, I headed inside. I could hear the popping fire, and Parker giggling in the living room. Stepping into the archway, I was stunned to see three sleeping bags spread out before the fire, the kid's Dora the Explorer bag in the middle. She was sitting on top of it in Strawberry Shortcake pajamas and socks. Keller was struggling with re-stuffing a pillow into it's sack.

"What's all this?" I asked, finally my curiosity getting the better of me. Both looked at me, Keller looking a little sheepish. The kid spoke up.

"We're having a slumber party!" She bounced happily. My brows shot up.

"We are, are we?" I looked at Keller who was nodding.

"Yep." She said, pillow sliding to victory. She tossed it down, fluffing it as she, too, sat on her red bag, flannel pants, tank and bare feet.

"Come on, Garrison!" Parker nearly yelled, her excitement level nearly frightening proportions.

"Okay, okay. Hold your horses!" The kid giggled at my phrasing, and I headed upstairs, utterly baffled. I wondered just how the hell Parker had talked Keller into this.

Changing into my own pajamas, I joined the sisters downstairs, Tut and Roy making themselves quite comfortable atop all of our legs. Parker wiggled and giggled, with the help of two sets of tickling fingers, of course, until she finally conked.

As I lay there, listening to Parker and Keller's breathing, I stared up at the ceiling, shadows dancing upon it with the flames' help. I thought back over the night, and it dawned on me.

Glancing over across Parker's sleeping form, I saw Keller's back, dark hair splayed over that same difficult pillow. She had done this. She had kept me busy all day and night, never allowing me to be alone for too long. Snorting in surprise, I couldn't believe it. My chest hurt as my heart swelled, blood rushing through my body at the amazing thoughtfulness that went into that gesture. After all, who knew ore about that feeling of loss than Keller Mitchum?

Sighing, I turned on my side as well, Parker securely held between two women who loved her more than she'd ever know. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep, satisfied sleep.

I started as I heard the car behind me honk. Glancing in my rearview mirror I saw a very impatient old woman. Looking at the traffic light, I realized that it was green. With an apologetic wave, I pushed the gas and the truck started rolling again.

As I got closer and closer to home, I couldn't stop thinking about Keller, and wonder what I'd do about this. I had to stop it before it got any worse for me. She had to know that she was completely safe with me, and that I'd never do anything that was above reproach. I would never hurt her or Parker. I'd be devastated if she thought anything else.

As I turned onto my street, my brows dipped when I recognized Gabe's car parked out front. Feeling anger begin to boil up within my gut, I put the truck into park and swung the door open. Marching to the front door, I flung it open, looking around for him or Keller and Parker. The house was deadly silent, and I felt a sense of dread creep through my veins.

Waking in a little bit, I pushed the kitchen door open, and there I saw Gabe leaning against the counter, his hand to his mouth, blood seeping through his fingers. His eyes were open wide with shock and fear. My own eyes swung around, desperately looking for Keller. My heart nearly broke when I saw her. She was huddled in the corner where two sets of cabinets met, hunkered down like a five year old. She had her arms wrapped around herself, knees pulled up, chin resting on them.

"What the hell is going on?" I nearly growled. Gabe looked at me, taking his hand away from his bloodied mouth.

"She fucking hit me!" he said, nodding toward Keller.

"What did you do, Gabe?" My voice was quiet, dangerous, animalistic. He looked stunned all over again.

"Nothing. I came to see you, was trying to talk to her-"

"Did she ask you to leave? For that matter did she invite you in?"

"Well no, I mean yeah. I mean I figured it would be okay if we chatted and I could get to know her. I didn't know." He was scrambling for an explanation. I stood frozen where I was, my body beginning to tremble as I saw how utterly terrified Keller was, her eyes vacant and empty.

"Get out." I looked at Gabe, death in my eyes.

"What? Wait, I didn't do anything, she swung at me,"

"Get out!" My voice found its power. "I warned you to leave her alone. Go!" He just stared at me, jaw hung slack.

"You don't mean that, Garrison,"

"And don't come back." I met his gaze, green fire. "Ever."

Gabe stared at me for a full minute before with a slightly lowered head and slumped shoulders, he breezed by me, trying to stay out of my arm's width.

I felt sick as the front door slammed and a car engine was started. Shaking myself out of my funk, I hurried over to Keller.

"Oh, honey. Are you okay?" I knelt down next to her, carefully peeling her chin from her knees, looking at her face, making sure he hadn't touched her. She looked at me. "I'm so sorry, honey. I'll never let him hurt you. I promise. No one will hurt you again." I gathered her in my arms. At first she resisted, but I wouldn't let her. Finally she fell into me and I felt her body shake as the tears came. "I swear to you, Keller. I will protect you always. You and Parker." I felt her nod as she cried, and I rocked her gently, silently making it my quest to give my life for her and the kid.

My family.

PART 15

I TRIED TO KEEP a smile on my face, keep things light. For Parker's benefit. She was pressing with all her might, trying to get her snowman to look perfect. An honest to god smile crossed my face at the look of pure determination leaked out with her tongue out the corner of her mouth.

"Got it!" She took the metal cookie cutter away, pride radiating form those blue eyes as she looked up at me. I nodded.

"Yep. You sure did." Smiling and ruffling her golden curls, I opened the oven door, nodding that the kid should put the pan in. I set the timer, my gaze restless, trying not to look for Keller. I could hear the murmur of her voice, the one-sided conversation two rooms away. Detective Robbins had called for her nearly twenty minutes ago. I wonder what was going on.

"Do I get to frost him, too?"

My attention was drawn once again to the seven year old looking up at me with hope-filled eyes.

"Sure do, kiddo. Come on, help me making the icing."

"Yay!" Parker did a little jig as I began to measure powdered sugar into the glass measuring cup Keller and Parker had given me for my birthday.

"Garrison?" Keller's voice was soft, but tense. "I need to talk to you." With that, the only indication she'd been there was the swinging door.

"Honey, stir that, okay?" I gave Parker the big wooden spoon. She nodded, her mood changing, matching that of her sister. Wiping my hands on my jeans, I headed out of the kitchen, seeing Keller standing in front of the fireplace, arms crossed over her chest. She was staring into the flames. I put my hand on her back, letting her know I was there. She didn't react, which was nice. Ever since the incident with Gabe nearly two months ago, Keller had become withdrawn, looking out the window often, as though she were looking for something. It was hard for me to not take what happened upon myself; I wanted to take full responsibility for it.

I couldn't do that. I had done nothing wrong, but still. I couldn't keep the thought out of my mind that I'd brought Gabe into her life. I remember the night she came to me:

I balled up the dirty sheets, tossing them onto the floor by the closet, the clean sheets folded and stacked neatly on the dresser.

"Get off there, you nut." I pushed Tut off the bare mattress, then spread out the freshly washed mattress pad. A small knock on my door, which I almost missed. "Yeah?" I continued to smooth out the wrinkles as my door squeaked open, then softly clocked shut. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Keller leaning against it, her eyes downcast.

"I'm sorry." She said, not looking up.

"For what?" I stopped what I was doing, turning to fully face her.

"About the other day." She glanced up, through her bangs, then her eyes quickly fell again. Confused, I took a step closer to her. "Don't." She pushed herself into the door behind her, so I stopped.

"Keller, what's going on?" Blue eyes looked up, but looked out the window, the afternoon sunlight shining through those amazing eyes, making them glow. It also made the tear glisten as it slid down her cheek. "Keller, honey, why are you crying?" Forgetting her earlier plea, I hurried over to her, but did not touch her. She looked at me, and I saw such pain and sorrow in those brilliant eyes.

"He's your friend. You don't have to make him go away. I'll go."

"Oh, sweetie, no." Wrapping her up in my arms, Keller fell against me, her sobs silent, but strong, vibrating through her body and into mine. "Shh, baby. Don't you worry about a thing."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cause trouble. I swear it." She looked at me, her eyes pleading for me to understand. I swear it. I'll be better. I won't make him mad anymore,"

"Keller. Stop it!" I held her by her shoulders, looking into her eyes, trying to make her look at me. "I need you to listen to me. Look at me. Look at me, Keller." Her eyes met mine once again. "You did nothing wrong. Okay?" Keller nodded, though it was weak. "Do you want to talk about it? About what happened?" She shook her head, so I hugged her to me. "It's okay." Gently pulling her toward a chair, I sat her down, me kneeling before her. I looked up at her. "Are you okay?" She swiped at her eyes and nodded. I decided to give her a moment, so I went into my bathroom to get her some tissue to blow her nose. I stood in the center of the large room, taking in everything. The new tile I'd put down a few years ago, the large Jacuzzi tub and separate shower compartment.

With all the bad that could be in the world, it was amazing how humans made themselves feel better. Small luxuries.

Keller was looking out the window, gabbing the tissue that I offered to her. She seemed to be in a slightly better place.

"He rang the doorbell. I answered and told him you weren't here. He insisted on waiting for you. I tried to tell him to wait on the porch, but he opened the screen door before I had the chance."

I leaned against the wall next to Keller's chair. "Go on."

Keller sighed, blowing her nose. "Whenever I tried to walk away he'd either follow me or talk to me. I didn't want to be rude to your friend in your own house, so I stood there, listening to him ramble on about whatever." She looked up at me then. "I didn't know what to do, Garrison. He got closer, and I ended up against the wall. He," Her voice started to break, along with my heart. "He kissed me and grabbed my breast."

"Oh, Keller," I breathed, kneeling down again. She dropped her gaze, her hands fidgeting in he lap. I took one of her hands, she let me.

"I didn't know what to do, I panicked. So I hit him. That's when you got there. I'm sorry. He's your friend."

"No friend of mine does that, Keller. Don't you worry about it." I gathered her into the most reassuring hug I could, rocking her gently. "No worries. Okay?" I felt her nod against my neck.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, my voice a hushed whisper. Keller didn't respond for a moment, then she said, still looking into the flames.

"They're giving me my mother's body back."

"Oh." I waited but nothing further came. "What do you want to do about it?"

"I don't know. What is there to do?"

"Bury her."

Keller glanced at me over her shoulder, looking into my eyes, her gaze serious and steady. "I can't."

"Keller-"

"Afford it." Her gaze bored into mine, and I dropped mine in understanding.

"Let me do it."

"No." End of discussion. Fuck that!

"Keller, let me say goodbye and pay my respects in my own way. Your mother doesn't deserve a pauper's grave."

"Doesn't she?" She turned, fully facing me now.

"No, she doesn't." I stood my ground, toe to toe.

"No."

"Then what do you plan to do with her, Keller?" I cocked my head to the side, full challenge mode. She stared me down, but finally her eyes dropped, and she turned back to the fire. She shrugged. "Please let me do this? I planned to, anyway."

"You do too much for us already." Keller said, her jaw set to stubborn.

"Oh yeah? Well has it ever crossed your mind that not everything I do is for you? I want to do this, Keller. Me. Okay?" She sighed, then nodded.

"Do what you gotta do."

"Thank you. I'll do that." I smirked at her, and she smiled back, though weakly.

*  *  *

Christmas was a quiet even, except when Keller and I played Santa for a sleeping Parker. Through hushed instructions, we got all of her toys put together and arranged around the tree, and took turns nibbling the cookies Parker had left for him

Finally morning came and the kid was ecstatic. This made me happy for her, and I put on a brave face. Tomorrow would be another ball of wax altogether.

Parker tucked in, her new doll wrapped in her arms, and Roy tucked next to his human, I headed toward my bedroom. Walking past Keller's room, I saw that she was laying on her bed, looking through a magazine. I was surprised to see that it was one for the United States Air Force.

"Night, Keller." I said at her open door. She glanced at me from behind the magazine and smiled.

"Goodnight, Garrison. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

*  *  *

"Come here, honey." I knelt down, fixing Parker's dress. She had miss-buttoned, making the thing lopsided. She watched my fingers as they undid the first five buttons, reworking them. Then blue eyes were looking into mine.

"We're going to put her to bed?" She said, her little voice a whisper. My brows dropped in confusion.

"Who, honey?"

"My mommy."

My fingers stilled as I studied her gaze. "Why do you say that?"

"She's asleep. Daddy made her fall asleep forever and ever. That's what Keller told me. So now she gets to go to bed?"

I sighed, then smiled. "Yes, honey. Now your mommy gets to go to bed."

"I want you and Keller to be my mommy."

My head shot up, and I nearly fell over backwards. I knew the kid didn't know what she was saying, but it still hit me square.

"Well, Parker, uh, you have a mommy." The kid shook her head, sending her curls bouncing around her shoulders.

"She's dead." Matter of fact, just like that.

"Yes, she is dead. But Parker, she will always be your mommy. Okay?" Parker nodded, but I could tell she wasn't convinced. I decided to drop it. Someday she'd understand.

Keller sat on the front porch, waiting. She looked beautiful in black slacks and dark gray button-down. Her leather jacket set it all off. Her hair, so long and shiny, thick and beautiful, fell down her back.

"Ready?" I asked, resting my hand on her shoulder. She nodded, standing.

"You look really pretty, Parker." She said to her little sister, who wore probably one of the first dresses of her young life. The kid beamed at the praise, and Keller leaned down, giving her sister a kiss on the cheek. The janitor grabbed the kid's hand and led her to the truck. I followed, knowing that today was all about them, not me. I'd have to learn to become a wallflower again.

Keller helped her sister into the truck, and I scooted into the driver's seat. The streets were nearly empty- a random Monday, early afternoon. Most folk were at work. The three of us were in none of these. The hangar was shut down for the day, and Parker's school session hadn't begun again after the holiday.

As my truck followed the curve of the road through the cemetery, I saw a woman sitting by herself in front of a grave, fresh flowers in the bronze holder. She was rocking gently, and I wondered if that was the grave of her husband or a child. Up ahead the green canopy that had been set up over what would eventually be the final resting place of Trudy Mitchum.

I slowed as Reggie and Jerome crossed the path where they'd gotten out of Reggie's carousel red orange 1969 Judge Hardtop. I rolled down my window.

"How's the baby, Reg?" He grinned at me and gave a thumbs up. Shaking my head, I rolled the window back up and found a spot in front of the muscle car. I remembered when he'd bought the hunk of junk almost ten years ago. He'd been building her up to quite the beauty ever since.

Once parked, I glanced over at my passengers. Parker held on to her sister, reminding me of the early days when they'd first come to live with me. Keller hung on just as tightly.

There were seven of us total, including the minister. Keller and Parker were seated in the metal folding chairs closest to the coffin, which had an arrangement of flowers atop it. The shiny brass fittings shone in the sunlight. I stood next to Parker, Jerome, looking handsome in a dark blue suit, took watch next to Keller. Neither of us said nothing- both of our natural protectiveness toward those two just came out in full force. Reggie stood back with a woman I didn't recognize. The grave-side funeral had been printed in the newspaper's obituary section. I had hoped that maybe some of Keller's family would come around, or at least family friends. Someone from her past she could trust.

"Thank you all for coming today as Trudy Mitchum is finally allowed to rest at peace." The minister said, a smile on his kind face.

I listened as he continued. Sort of. I could see Keller out of my peripheral vision. She was looking straight ahead, the white coffin always in her sights. Though I did have to wonder if she was actually seeing anything. I had the strong suspicion that she was lost to us, lost to a time none of us could imagine. Perhaps not even Parker. Was the kid born yet where Keller was? Parker had been a baby of four when she'd seen her mother murdered and buried. Now, almost three years later, how much did she remember of the woman lying in that wooden box?

Then abruptly, Keller was on her feet and moving away from the service. Parker watched her go, but then her eyes also turned back front. Jerome and I met gazes, and with his shrug, I put my arm across the back of Parker's chair, and gave my full attention to the minister.

Meaningless words racing through my head and out memories of my own flowing in to fill the void. Standing in the rain at mom's service. Watching them lower the coffin into the ground, the rain falling in slow motion, falling, falling, taking my tears with them, down to my mother. Closing my eyes and raising my face to the sky, letting the angel's sorrow chill my skin.

The minister talking of dad, talking of everything Frank Davies had accomplished during his time on earth, the same minister who'd spoken of Frank's wife, and of Keller's mother now, a woman he'd never met.

Words. All just words. Meaningless, empty, pseudo balm to fill the hole left behind. There would always be an indentation on my heart, no matter how much that hole healed with time.

"Let us pray."

My mind zapped back to Trudy's funeral, and realized it was almost over. Obediently I bowed my head, listening as Reverend Stahl said a last prayer for Trudy's soul, and the service ended.

"Ready, honey?" I asked Parker. The kid nodded, her head lowered, small shoulders slumped. Standing, I reached down for her hand, which she gave to me. She looked up at me, and to my surprise, found no tears there. She just looked sad and tired. "Come on."

Hand in hand we walked over to Jerome, but were stopped by the woman. She looked to be in her forties, hair beginning to be salted with gray, and her blue eyes lined weathered. She smiled at me and I smiled back.

"You must be the pilot."

"Yes. Garrison Davies." I extended my hand, and she took it in her warm, leathery grip. Those eyes turned to Parker. The woman knelt down, the kid hugging the space around me.

"Hi, honey. Do you remember me? Louise Atkins. I used to work with your mommy at the grocery store. Remember?" Parker shook her head. "Well, you were pretty young then." She stood, looking at me again. "They always were real pretty girls."

"Yes, they are."

"Just like their momma used to be." She sighed, bringing her trembling hand up to cover her mouth as she stared out over the graves around us. "We tried to talk her into leaving him." Louise's voice was a whisper. I could see her blue eyes filling with unshed tears. "We tried so hard, but she wouldn't do it." Looking at me again, her hand dropped. "I'll never forgive myself." I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. Finally the woman took several deep breaths and reached into her purse, bringing out a scrap of paper with a name and number already written on it. "I'd hoped I'd run into you here. You've done a real good thing, Garrison. These girls need you."

"Yeah,"

"Here. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call me." I took the paper she offered, glancing at it, then folding it. I nodded.

"Okay. Thank you for coming."

"I wouldn't miss it." Louise smiled at Parker again. "You take care little one. Take care of Keller, too, okay?" The kid nodded. With that, she walked away, leaving Parker and I both to stare after her.

Looking around, I saw the lone figure sitting on the grass under the shade of a tree. Sighing, I looked to Jerome. He was watching us, hands in his pockets.

"Hey." I said, walking over to him.

"How goes it, kiddo?" He said, smiling down at Parker.

"Okay, I guess. Listen, can we grab a ride home with you and Reggie?"

"Sure. Not a problem. Tough day, huh?" He nodded toward Keller, now tugging dried grass from their roots.

"Yeah. I think so. Listen, why don't you guys get loaded in. I'll be right back." I let go of Parker's hand, knowing she'd be fine with Jerome, who she'd come to like and trust.

The grass crunched under my boots, and I dug the keys to the truck out of my pocket as I reached Keller. She sat, knees drawn up, wrists dangling, sunglasses covering her expression from me. I set the keys on the grass next to her, gently squeezing her shoulder, then walking away.

*  *  *

Parker asked to go upstairs and play when we got home, and I immediately agreed. The kid needed some alone time. And quite frankly, so did I. I sat in my office, TV in the corner playing an old episode of Seinfeld, and a game of Sims 2 on my computer screen.

I had created my characters, two women, seeing if I could make the Sims become lesbians. It's the little things in life. I had been at it for about three hours, building the ladies a home, getting them settled into their jobs, Mary on the education path and Ellen on the culinary path. It seemed as though Mary was getting quite into Ellen, but Ellen wasn't having any of it.

Starting to get frustrated, I was about to introduce Mary to a cute little blonde neighbor when there was a knock at the door. "Come in." Watching as Mary greeted the neighbor, I was intrigued to see Ellen get jealous. Looking up, I saw Keller standing in front of my desk, and she tossed something atop it. Seeing that it was a brochure for the United States Air Force, I looked back up at her. "Are you sure you want to think-"

"I leave in three weeks." I could only stare, slack-jawed and stunned, Mary, Ellen and the cute neighbor forgotten. Keller walked over to the door, closing it, then sat down across from me. "I need to ask you a very important question, Garrison."

"Okay."

"Keep Parker for me?" Blue eyes bore into mine. I couldn't look away.

"Keller-"

"If you won't let me know, and I'll figure something out." She was beginning to close off.

"Stop it, Keller. You know damn well I'll keep Parker." I cleared my throat, hoping to clear some of the anger and hurt away, too, though I wasn't sure just what I was angry and hurt about. "When did you decide to do sign up?"

"I've been thinking about it for a little while. Then today, seeing what happened to my mother, where she ended up, I don't want to be like that. I don't want to throw away my dreams because of responsibility. I love Parker. She is my world, Garrison, but that's all I've got. I need something for me," she pounded her own chest. "something I can be proud of, call my own. You know?"

"More than you'll ever know. How long will you be gone?"

"Four years."

I felt the air kicked out of me, and had to readjust in my chair to give my lungs room to air back up. "Oh."

"I want to become the best pilot I can."

"Yeah, of course you do. Have you told Parker yet?"

"No. To be honest, I don't know how to tell her."

"She'll eventually understand, Keller. She loves you and wants to see you happy." But did I even understand? "She's safe here, and she's happy."

"I know." Keller blew out a breath, running a hand through her hair. "I can only hope that I can make her that happy someday."

"You do and you will." I smiled, but it was completely forced. I wished she'd just leave to give me time alone to digest this. I didn't want to see her go, an for so long, and was I capable of raising Parker on my own? Could I keep her happy and safe? The idea was daunting.

"Yeah, well." Keller stood, taking a deep breath. "I'm going to talk to Parker. Goodnight, Garrison."

"Night." The door softly clicked shut, and I ran a hand through my hair, looking back to the paused game on my computer screen. What was I going to do? I knew it might be good for Keller, certainly help her to open up and gain self-confidence. But still, what would I do? Would I do right by Parker? Would the kid even want to stay with me? "Shit."

*  *  *

The moonless night played black against the window that looked out of. Inky darkness, nothingness, a black hole. My mind was zillions of mines away, floating around in space, dodging the stars and planets. The earth was tilting on its axis, and so was my life.

Curled up in the corner of the window seat, I brought my knees even tighter against my chest. My temple hit the cool glass with a small thud, my breath slightly fogging my reflection. I looked at myself, my eyes mere millimeters from their reproduced counterparts. The color was near gone, stolen by the darkness, leaving me to stare into a void that felt appropriate. Keller wasn't gone yet, me only hearing the news two hours ago, and yet I felt her absence acutely.

And what then? For more than a year my life had been changed utterly, and profoundly. My priorities were no longer my own, my house no longer my own, hell, my business no longer my own. Everything I did revolved around Parker and Keller. They were my worries, my joy, my concentration. What happens when one of them is taken away? And not only that, but my ally. Keller was the second in this strange little family of ours. Hell, who was I kidding? She had the reigns most the time, whether she realized it or not.

My self-pity was interrupted by a scream. Shooting to my feet, I stopped.

"Parker, stop!" The undeniable sobs of Parker filled the hallway outside my door. "Stop it. Listen to me. How can you say I don't love you or that I don't want to be with you?"

"Because you're leaving me!" the kid screamed back, her voice thick from an upset that I could never fathom, even with the loss of dad.

"Honey, I'm going to visit you, and it's not forever. I promise." Keller's own voice was thin, and I knew she was on the verge of losing control.

"Why you gotta go?" Parker cried. I could tell by the muffled sound of her voice that Keller was hugging her tightly to her.

"Because. I want to make a life for us. You and me, huh? And Garrison. You want that, kiddo? You can stay with her, and she can take you flying-"

"I don't wanna stay with Garrison! Don't like her!" Parker cried, her tears coming in abundance again. "I don't wanna be here!"

"Parker!" A door slammed, then opened only to close again.

I was stunned as my back hit the wall, my head bouncing off the plaster to painfully remind me of where I was. It didn't matter. My heart hurt far more than my head ever could. It was hard to breathe, my lungs refusing to cooperate. Instead, the air I would have taken in came in heaves, bringing a crippling sting to my eyes that made me slide down that wall until my entire body was jarred by the hard floor beneath me.

The tears continued, slipping down my cheeks, off my chin and onto my hands that lay limply in my lap. I was crushed.

"Garrison?" The quiet voice startled me. "I'm sorry. I knocked, but," Keller's eyes were filled with concern as she stood a few feet from where I sat crumpled. Her hands were buried in her pockets. She took another look at me, then turned toward the open bedroom door. She closed it and then came back over to me. Kneeling down, she tried to look into my eyes, but I wouldn't allow it. My head dropped, and I tried to contain my devastation, but my emotions would have none of that.

"I," My chin began to tremble, my words lost in a fresh wave of hurt. I collapsed against the warm embrace that took me in, surrounding me with strong, comforting arms.

"Shh," Keller rocked me, stroking my back and hair as I cried. "She's confused and hurt with me. She's just lashing out. She didn't mean it, Garrison. I swear to you she didn't mean it."

For some reason that made me cry harder. I held on to Keller with all my strength, even as it failed me and I totally collapsed against her. I knew that I was crying for far more than what Parker had said, and her utter rejection of my love for the child. I was crying for all my confusions, losing Keller, though she was never mine, nor would she ever be. I just prayed that she would belong to herself one day. Maybe going away was the way for her to find herself.

I kept telling myself that.

Keller said nothing more as she continued to rock me, gently and with utter care and understanding. I felt so alone, and knew once Keller left, I would be. It hit me with a force that I'd never known. I felt like I was losing dad all over again.

Keller let me cry, holding me in the darkness of my room; both of us feeling comfortable from the near-anonymity of the night. Finally, head pounding, my tears dried and I was left with several deep breaths. We sat there, me still being held, both lost in our own heads. I relaxed against her, not wanting to move, so I didn't. I needed to be held, needed to be comforted- something I'd never admit in the light of day, and I think Keller knew that. I felt an intimacy that night that sex nor kissing nor talking could ever replicate. It was a silent offering and acceptance, no promises, no demands. It was what I needed.

I'm not sure how long we sat there before Keller's soft voice filled the night, and made the little hairs on my neck tickle.

"I need to do this, Garrison. Dr. Reynolds made me realize I need to figure out who I am. I can't do that here, with you, and even not with Parker." She paused, her fingers absently brushing my hair. I listened to her breathing, feeling a calm come over me in a warm wave. "For so long I've had to be what Parker and Al needed or made me be. I have no idea who I really am." Keller sounded so sad and wistful at voicing this realization. I'd never felt so proud in all my life.

"Are you going to make a career out of this?"

"No. Flying yes, but the military, no. I'm too stubborn to follow orders for the rest of my life." We both chuckled at that.

"Are you scared?"

"I'm terrified, Garrison. I'm scared for me and I'm scared for Parker. The only time we've been apart was when I was in the hospital. I know how much she needs me, but I know she'll be okay with you." Keller's words warmed my soul, though I still had my own fears.

"I don't know, Keller. I'm terrified of doing something wrong. What if she isn't happy? What if I totally fuck it up?" I tried to pull away, but to my immense surprise, the arm around me tightened. Laying my head back against Keller's shoulder, I relaxed again.

"You won't."

"How do you know?" I felt on the verge of panic at the thought of raising that little girl alone for four years.

"Because I had to do it when I was a kid myself. I had no money, nothing but my own body to protect that kid with. But you," now she pulled away from me, looking into my eyes. Hers had turned silver in the night. "You've got strength in you, and material resources. And I know you love Parker. I see it in everything you do for her. Trust in that."

I stared at her, taking in every feature of her face, and just how beautiful she really was. And so wise. Keller had the eyes of a person who'd walked the earth for a thousand years. I smiled, and she smiled back. Resting my head back against her again, I asked, "Is Parker okay?"

"She will be. She doesn't understand. She thinks I'm leaving her."

"Keller, I hate to point out the obvious here ..." I grinned as I was poked.

"You know what I mean. She'll be okay. She's strong and she's smart, and knows she has a good thing here with you. Regardless of what she says." This last was said as an afterthought. "Garrison?"

"Hmm?"

"Would it be okay if I took a few days off? I want to take Parker somewhere. You know, spend some time alone with her before I go, and she goes back to school."

"So let me get this straight- you're giving me your two weeks notice, and then on top of that you're asking for time off?"

"Basically."

I smiled. "Of course. I hope you two have fun."

"Thank you. For everything."

"You're welcome."

*  *  *

The streets of Warwick were quiet, no one having any money left after the holidays, and have all of last week to return all those unwanted ties and awful clothes from Aunt Edna. It was cold, but beautiful out, the sun shining overhead, chasing all the early morning clouds away.

Hands buried in the pockets of my leather jacket, I saw two women standing outside on the sidewalk, looking up at the building in front of them and gesticulating wildly. As I got closer, one of them went inside, and the other tapped her chin with a finger. She looked at me and smiled.

"Hi." She said. Though she looked to be in her late forties, her green eyes were youthful and sparkled. She wore a blue do-rag on her head, covering reddish blonde hair.

"Hi there." I looked up at the business she stood in front of and read Wood Closet Squared. Through the large storefront windows of the old brick building, I could see books set up, and shelf upon shelf of them inside. "Do you own this place?"

"Sure do." She smiled, extending her hand. "I'm Jenny. We just opened up last week. Grand opening all week, twenty percent off everything," She eyed me, and I knew she was trying to get me to go in. I grinned, charmed.

"Well, I'm Garrison, and it's about time we got a women's bookstore in town." I winked, noting the small rainbow sticker at the bottom left corner of one of the windows. Jenny laughed.

"Yes, so I hear. Enjoy your shopping."

"Thanks. Will do." I chuckled as Jenny stepped back even further, almost to the street, as she made sure everything on the storefront was perfect. The bell above the door announced my entrance, and I saw the other woman opening some boxes with a box cutter. She smiled at me, her short, dark hair hanging over one eye. I smiled back, then began to look around.

The place was large and old. The ceilings, at least twenty feet high, still had the original molding around the edges that the building had when it was the first post office in Warwick. The wood floors creaked under her weight, and the smell was wonderful. I loved the smell of books, old or new. And here, the smell of the new books mixed with the old wood was ecstasy for the olfactory system.

I spied a section of biographies filled with books about famous women and those who have made a contribution of some sort to their fellow sisters, alive and dead. The one on Amelia Earhart caught my eyes. She had been my hero when I'd been a kid. Well, next to dad, of course. As I flipped through the pages, I felt a presence beside me. Glancing up I saw the woman with dark hair stocking some books a fixture away.

"She was a great lady." She said, nodding toward the book in my hand. I smiled.

"Yeah. When I was a kid I used to wear my scarf like this." I flashed the cover at her. She chuckled.

"That must have gone over well with the other kids."

"Yeah, well. Not much that I did went over well with them, but I didn't care. My dad was my best friend, anyway."

"That's great. I wasn't close to my dad at all. In fact, it took until after her died to really understand him." The woman rearranged some of the books on the shelf so the others would fit, then began to alphabetize them by author.

"When did he die?" I put the Earhart book away, and crossed my arms over my chest, watching the woman work.

"Been awhile now. Almost twenty-five years, I guess." She smiled at me, then picked up another box, starting to stock those.

"Sorry to hear that."

"Eh, don't be. We weren't close." She set the pile on top of the shelving unit and turned to me. She wore old, comfy-looking jeans and a button-up shirt. Her blue eyes were startlingly clear, lined with age and wisdom. "I'm Sean. I have no doubt my partner Jenny ushered you in here." She grinned, showing a beautiful smile.

"She can be persuasive."

"Tell me about it." Sean laughed outright. "She's the one who got me to move east and open this place." She gestured at our surroundings.

"Where are you guys from?" I liked this woman, and hoped to get to know her and Jenny better. They seemed like they'd be a colorful addition to the quiet little town.

"Seattle. I've owned The Wood Closet up there for a lot of years. Our daughter and her husband runs that one, now."

"Ah. Thus the squared." We both grinned. "You guys have been together long?" I was always fascinated whenever I met a lesbian couple with many years behind them. Not that I'd met many, mind you, but was always intrigued when I did.

"Yep. Quarter of a century." Sean's grin was wicked, and I grinned back.

"How wonderful."

Both our attention was grabbed by a small group of girls who came in giggling. Sean glanced at them, then back at me.

"I think that's my cue." She winked, and went over to the rowdy bunch. I smiled, turning back to the books in front of me. The place was nice, comfy chairs scattered throughout, placed next to wooden, slightly scarred tables with lamps on them so a reader could adjust to their own light preference. The worn look of the furniture, which I figured was probably brand new, gave the place an old, lived-in feel. Very wise on Jenny and Sean's part.

I roamed the store, feeling comfortable and free to pick and choose.

Turning the page, I felt my heart pounding, waiting to see what would happen, would they get together or would Haley fly off into the blue. Come on, Andi! Go get her! Don't let her get away!

My breathing near the roof as Haley was spotted, I jumped and yelled out when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up with wide eyes, I saw Jenny standing over me, an amused smile on her face.

"Good book?"

"Oh, uh," I sat up in the chair that I had lounged in at some point, and closed it, looking at the cover. She eyed it.

"'Outcome.' Yep, that is a good one. Listen, we love have you here, but we need to close down." Her eyes danced with merriment, and I grinned sheepishly. I saw out the windows that the sun had gone down, and the place was softly lit by the scattered lamps, and a few overhead lights.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. It makes me think we've done something right if you were comfortable enough to spend the entire day here." Jenny leaned back against one of the many columns spread throughout the place.

"Did she finally come up for air?" Sean asked, joining her partner.

"Yeah, but I think she lost about five years off her life in the process." Jenny grinned, closing her eyes with a content smile as Sean kissed the top of the blonde's head.

"I'm sorry, guys. I really don't know how time got away from me like that. Is it too late to buy this?" I held up the book, feeling horrible for taking up space in their store all day then not even buying anything. Sean took the book from my hand and examined it.

"An autographed copy, no less. Good book, and the author's real nice, too." She headed toward the register, Jenny dusting and straightening. "Like the place, do ya?" She asked as she rung me up.

"Yeah! It's great." I grinned from ear to ear, loving the atmosphere in the bookstore. I handed her a twenty, and she gave me change and slid my purchase into a bag bearing the Wood Closet Squared logo.

"Good to know." Sean smiled, and I couldn't help but think she must have been one hell of a knockout when she was younger. Hell, she still was, and she was probably fifty or older. "Come back anytime." I smiled, touched by the sincere invite.

"Thanks. I will. Goodnight, ladies." I called as I left, and grinned at the chorus of 'night, I heard in return.

I walked down the sidewalk, the bag swinging playfully at my side, the weight of the book comforting. I watched as businesses all around me turned their lights off, closed their doors and turned the locks. Yep, it was definitely Saturday in a small town. The smile that was on my face surprised me. Keller and Parker had been gone since Thursday, and it had been terribly lonely in that big house alone. It amazed me that I had lived alone there, quite happily, before they showed up. Guess it proves that whole don't know what you've got deal. It had been a fun day, and she knew the Wood Closet Squared had everything to do with it. Maybe it would be a good place to hide.

*  *  *

I heard the truck pull into the drive, and my book hit the cushion rather unceremoniously. Getting to my feet, I was nearly bowled over by a very excited eight year old.

"Garrison!" The kid wrapped her arms around my waist, her head resting against my stomach.

"Hey you." I hugged her to me, marveling at how tall she was getting. "You know, between you and your sister, soon I'm going to feel like a shrimp." I grinned down at the kid and she looked up at me with pride. "Did you have a good time?" I asked, running my fingers through her wind-blown hair. I hadn't said a word to Parker about her declarations, and she hadn't mentioned it, either. I had noticed, though, that she was even more affectionate with me the next day than usual. I did believe that she hadn't meant what she'd said. I had to.

"We caught fish." She beamed.

"Did you, now?" I eyed Keller over the top of the kid's head. The janitor raised her hand with a line of fish attached to it. Looking back down at the kid.

"It was cold, Garrison. Roy kept me warm, though." The dog ran in, almost knocking us both down, his tail wagging a bajillion miles a minute in his happiness to see me.

"Hey, buddy!" I stepped away from the kid and gave him a big hug, fending off wet, sloppy kisses. "How's my boy, huh?" The dog whimpered as he tried to get more of my attention and affection. "Missed you, too, big guy. Yeah." I gave him a quick rub down, then turned back to Parker and Keller. "So you guys had a good time, huh? Can't say ice fishing seems like the most sensible thing to do,"

"Yeah, cause you know you wouldn't catch anything." Keller challenged. I raised a brow.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Here- we caught 'em, you get to clean 'em." Her smile was big and white. How could I say no?

*  *  *

The weeks were ticking away into days which inevitably led to hour and finally to minutes and seconds. We were down twenty-three hours and thirty-nine minutes. I felt too obsessive to figure out the seconds. Keller and I sat on the front porch, Parker nowhere to be seen. This was not uncommon lately. If Keller was there, the kid wasn't. Parker's anger was easy to see and even easier to understand. I felt a bit of it myself.

We sat in silence, both nursing cups of steaming coffee. The night was brisk, but when I'd found Keller sitting all alone, looking out over the night, I had the distinct feeling she was trying to absorb everything around her. She was scare, I could see it in her eyes. I didn't ask and she didn't tell. It was just something understood between us, and I smiled reassurances at her, and she gave grateful sighs.

The guys and Penny had thrown her a very enthusiastic going away party. Ruby had been there, and had given Keller a very tearful hug and a small wrapped gift. Keller hadn't opened it there, and I wondered what had been inside. They had exchanged quiet words and more hugs in a corner, and I had fought the jealousy. It was ridiculous, and I knew it. But it had been there all the same.

Now, as we sat in comfortable silence, I glanced over at her. Looking at her profile as she stared up into the stars. The straight lines, the way her hair fell over her shoulders. I couldn't help but wonder if that hair would be there when I saw her next.

Sighing, I turned my attention back to the night before us.

"Think she'll ever talk to me again?"

The words were spoken so quietly, I almost missed them. Glancing over at my companion again, I sighed once more.

"Yeah. I think it'll just take time, Keller. Hell, I'm not so sure she'll speak to me, either." I sipped from my coffee. Turning to her again, I got her attention, making sure she was looking at me. "You can't let that bother you or get in your way right now, Keller. You got me? Parker will be fine."

"I know she will." She sat forward in her chair, pointing out into the night. "Hey, look. A shooting star."

I, too leaned forward, watching the quick progress. I closed my eyes, making my wish, then opened the to smile at Keller. She was looking at me like I was nuts. "What?"

"Nothing." She shook her head good naturedly.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." We grinned at each other, then Keller's attention returned to the night sky.

*  *  *

Deep breath. Deep, deep breath. My stomach churned again when I heard the honk from Ruby's car. Keller refused to let me and Parker take her to the airport. We had to say our goodbyes at home.

I gently set down the orange I'd been peeling for Parker, and the kid sat at the kitchen table, feet dangling, face somber. There were footsteps on the stairs, followed by movement in the hall. Another run up the stairs, then back down again. The front door was open, and Ruby's boisterous voice boomed.

"Jesus, kid. You think I got all day to wait out there?"

"Yeah, yeah. Blow it out your ass." Keller muttered.

"You kiss your kid sister with that mouth? Jeesh." The kitchen door swung open and Ruby stepped through, her dangling red earrings matching her red knit pants and shiny red shoes.

"You look like a tomato." I said, eyeing her. She glared at me, and I grinned, looking away. My smile faltered, and I didn't want her to see it.

"Hey, kiddo." The pilot bent down, kissing Parker on the cheek. The kid gave her a very weak, watery smile, then turned back to her coloring book.

The door slowly opened again, and Keller looked in on us. "Ready." She said, her voice soft, unsure.

"Okay. I'll see you later, honey." Ruby gave me a huge hug, lasting longer than usual. I knew she was trying to give me strength in that hug. I gratefully took it. Keller stepped back out into the hall, and I followed.

"Good luck." I said, taking several deep breaths to keep myself together. Keller smiled, nodding. "Keep yourself safe and call when you can. I know Parker will want to talk to you, whether she admits it or not."

"Yeah."

I engulfed the janitor in a hug, momentarily resting my head on her shoulder, then released her.

"Be safe." She said, then called for her sister. "Parker!" I glanced over at the door, and saw the large duffel bag she had her clothes and personal belongings tucked into. I felt the bile rise in my stomach and turned away. "Parker. Come here."

The kitchen door slowly opened, and the kid stood there, her eyes lowered, bottom lip partially sticking out, and shoulders slumped.

"Hey, you." Keller knelt down in front of her sister, using two fingers to nudge her chin up. "You be good for Garrison, okay? Do your homework and keep Garrison safe, okay?" Parker refused to look her sister in the eye. "I'm going to miss you." Keller tried again, nothing. With a sigh, she grabbed for the kid to pull her into a hug, but Parker cried out, shoving Keller, and running up the stairs. Keller looked stunned as she stood there, looking after her baby sister.

Swallowing hard, she squared her shoulders and almost marched over to where her bag was.

"I'll call." She said, grabbed the bag, and headed out the door. At the threshold, she turned back around, looking at the stairs again. "I love you, Parker!" she yelled, then disappeared out the door.

Ruby squeezed my arm, then followed suit. Softly the front door clicked shut, as I didn't want to watch them drive away. Numbly I made my way back to the kitchen.

PART 16

"NO, I DON'T NEED you to come down here." I smiled into the small cell phone.

"You sure? I'm not about to let that little pint upset you, Monk." Ruby insisted. I smiled at her protectiveness.

"It's okay, Ruby. I know this hasn't been easy for her."

"True, but-"

The door to the inner office opened.

"I have to go. I'll call you later." I snapped the phone shut and stood, tossing the People magazine I'd been reading aside. Parker walked out of the office, blue bear in hand. She didn't look at me, and my own gaze strayed to Dr. Reynolds'.

"Garrison, can I talk to you for a moment?" The doctor asked. I nodded and turned to the kid.

"Will you be okay out here for a second, honey?" I asked. She nodded, and plopped down in one of the chairs. She looked so small and vulnerable. I was at a loss. I followed Dr. Reynolds into a small office, filled with windows, and a colorful corner dedicated to children, filled with toys and activity books. She indicated that I should sit on the couch, and she sat in the matching arm chair across from it. She crossed her legs and fixed her skirt, then looked at my expectant face. "How are things?"

I sighed, sitting back and stretching my arm out across the back of the couch. I glanced out the window, the sun coming in to lighten the room. "It's been hard. I won't lie to you." Looking back at Parker's counselor, I saw the lines of concern gathering between her eyes.

"Keller has been gone for two weeks."

"Yes."

"Any contact?"

"Keller called Sunday." I explained, playing with my hands in my lap. Reynolds' gaze took in my gestures.

"Was it a good conversation?" She asked, her voice soft.

"It was alright, I suppose. Parker refused to talk to her, so I know that hurt Keller quite a bit. She's doing well, though I think she's homesick, even if she won't admit it." I grinned, and so did Reynolds.

"She's gone there to be a pilot?"

"No. She'd have to become an officer to do that, or some such thing. They're going to teach her how to work on planes, helicopters, that kind of thing. She can get all the instruction for flying planes she wants here."

"And how are you holding up? Quite a bit you've taken upon yourself, Garrison. You're to be commended." Reynolds smiled at me, her dark eyes crinkling around the corners. I looked down, embarrassed.

"Thanks, but I love those two."

"I know you do. You're to be commended anyway." She smiled, and stood. "Well, I told Parker that I'd like to see her Friday. I feel right now that her therapy needs to be a bit more focused and intense."

"Alright." I, too stood. "Thanks, doc." Extending my hand, the soft, darker one filled my own.

"Any time."

"Come on, Parker." I grabbed my coat from the chair next to the kid, slipping my arms through it as she stood, holding blue bear to her. She turned and grabbed the doorknob to lead us into the hall.

Once in my truck, I glanced over at her. She sat, silent and somber, her seatbelt seeming to dwarf her introverted body.

"How did it go?" My voice was quiet as I reached for the keys in the ignition and turned. The engine rumbled to life, and the kid shrugged.

"I don't know." She mumbled.

"You don't know?" She shook her head. I got us out of the parking lot and headed out into the street. "How was school today?"

"I don't know."

Up ahead I saw the Golden Arches, and an idea popped into mind.

"Well, I think I know something that you will know." Pulling into the parking lot, the huge glassed-in play room looming before us, Parker sat up a little in her seat, though stubbornly refused to show any serious excitement. Sometimes I wondered if this kid weren't mine, after all.

Moving up to the counter, the pimply-faced ten year old asked what we wanted. I ordered for me, then looked down at my companion.

"Tell him what you want, Parker."

"I don't know." She said, though I saw those blue eyes scanning over the plastic case containing the figures from The Incredibles, that filled the Happy Meals.

"No? Are you sure? Look over there- you could get Violet in your box." I pointed at the figure of the daughter of the dynamic duo. Her eyes widened, and I knew I was beginning to crack her shell. "You could take her home and play with her with your Barbie dolls. Watch her kick their butts," Parker giggled so I took the plunge. "Tell the nice kid what you want."

"Cheeseburger Happy meal, please." She said, blue eyes shining at the prospects.

"Coming right up." The boy hurried to gather our order, and I looked out to the glassed in playground, seeing one table left. Parker ran out to save it for us, and I gathered lunch.

I remember my mom saying that you never know the sacrifices you make for your kids until you have them. Well, now that I essentially have one, I understand that sentiment as I stared at my half-eaten quarter pounder with cheese. Yuck.

Pushing the sandwich aside, I watched as Parker, who had quickly gobbled up her lunch, played in the pool of plastic balls, just the top of her golden curls able to be seen.

"Excuse me,"

I looked up, French fry hanging out of my mouth. The brown eyes looking down at me crinkled with the smile. Quickly sucking the salty potato in, I swallowed, trying not to choke on it. "Sorry about that. Um, it's really crowded in here, and there really aren't any places left to sit, I noticed it's just you,"

"Oh!" Catching on, I moved Parker's Happy Meal box to the side. "Please, sit down."

"Thanks." With obvious relief, the woman set her tray down across from me on the round table for four, then shrugged her purse strap from her shoulder, placing the bag at her fee. "I'm Julia."

"Garrison." I smiled at her, and she smiled back, tossing her hair back, red and reaching just past her shoulders.

"Garrison. That's a different name. I've heard that before." Her brows furrowed as she unwrapped her sandwich, and squirted the ketchup packets onto the spread out paper.

"Mommy, can I play first?"

We were interrupted by a little girl with long hair, the same color as her mothers, that dark red, with hazel eyes.

"Honey, we talked about this. You need to eat." Julia tapped the seat next to her own. The girl sighed and rolled her eyes, then plopped down, not giving me the time of day. Her mother gave me an apologetic look. The girl took a few bites of her lunch, then eyed me. It only took a few moments for her to lean up and whisper something in her mother's ear, eyes on me the entire time. Julia turned to her daughter and said quietly, "Her name is Garrison. She was nice enough to let us share her table."

The girl looked at me for a brief moment, then took a few more bites of her chicken nuggets. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Parker standing off to the side, near the cubbies where shoes and coats could be stored, fidgeting as she stared at us, her eyes darting to Julia's daughter.

"Come on over, Parker." I said, smiling at her. She licked her lips, eyes bouncing from mother to daughter before landing on me again. She looked back to the girl, my guess feeling better that she was a kid like her. Finally she reached us, and I put my arm around her shoulders. "Parker, this is Julia, and, I'm sorry, I didn't get your name," I looked at the girl who was dipping a nugget into her container of honey.

"Zoë."

"Zoë." Parker hid behind me, peeking out from over my shoulder. Zoë smiled at her.

"Hi." She said, dimples winking at the kid. I heard a muffled "Hi," from behind me. "Want to play?" Hazel eyes widened in hope. I glanced back at Parker, and saw her nod, big blue eyes still fixed firmly on Zoë and her mom. "Can we, mom?" Zoë asked, showing that she'd eaten three of her four chicken nuggets.

"Okay. But you have to finish these before we leave, okay?" Julia said, looking her daughter in the eye, making sure the kid understood. With a nod of long, reddish brown hair, Zoë ran off toward the slide. I felt a small hand let go of my arm, then saw Parker follow.

Julia and I turned back to our lunches, grins on our faces. Our eyes met, and we burst out laughing.

"To have that kind of energy again," Julia said, chewing on a fry.

"No kidding. I watch her sometimes, and am just blown away. But I'll tell you," I pointed at her with my own fry. "When she crashes, she crashes hard."

"Oh, I know. Trust me, I've found Zoë in some strange places around the houses gone to the world." I nodded in understanding. "So are you guys new around here? I bring Zoë here every Monday after ballet lessons."

"No. I was born and raised around here. I brought Parker here as a special treat."

"You know, it's bugging me. Where have I seen you before?" She sipped her drink, eyes never leaving me. I wasn't sure what she was getting at, so shrugged. "That's it!" The straw popped out of her mouth, spraying a bit of her drink on her chin. She chuckled, wiping it off, then looked at me. "You're the pilot." A bit creeped out now,

"Yes, I am a pilot,"

"And that must be Parker." She pointed to the kid, giggling as she slid down the slide behind Zoë. "And there's an older one, too." Seeing my confusion, Julia explained. "Aren't you the pilot who took those kids in? Garrison, oh shoot, I can't remember your last name."

"Davies."

"That's it!" Excited now, "I read everything on that case that I could. What you did for those girls," she shook her head in wonder. "It was truly amazing, Garrison. Things like that just don't happen anymore."

"Oh," catching on, my discomfort was replaced with a blush. "Anyone would have done it in the same position."

"I don't think so. If that were the case, those two kids wouldn't have been with that bastard as long as they were."

I met her eyes, earnest and true. "I'm just glad they were able to stay with me." I said, my voice soft, unable to convey just what a gift Keller and Parker were for me. Julia smiled, her head slightly cocked to the side.

"How long have they been with you now? And what's the older ones name?"

"Keller. They've been with me over two years." My smile was proud and happy. Then realizing that I probably looked like a dork, I cleared my throat and ran a hand through my hair.

"Well, I'm very pleased to meet you."

"Thank you." I was turning shy, now.

"So a pilot, huh?"

"Yes." I was terribly grateful to get the conversation off me and the girls, and immediately perked up.

"What kind of flying do you do?" She dipped two fries into ketchup, then nibbled at them.

"Cargo, mainly. We fly incoming and outgoing cargo around the Massachusetts area, as well as New York, Pennsylvania, that kind of thing." I wadded up the paper from my sandwich and tossed it onto the tray, pulling my large cup of Coke closer to me.

"How interesting. I bet it can be exciting."

"Eh, depends." I shrugged. Some of the folks at the airports is what can be interesting." I grinned and she smiled back. "What do you do?"

"I'm a music teacher at Collins Community College, as well as I teach private lessons."

"Really? What do you teach?"

"Well, basically if you can blow it or stroke it, I teach it."

Mind out of gutter, Garrison, mind out of gutter.

"Really? That's impressive." I was interrupted when Parker and Zoë ran up to the table.

"Mommy, look what we found." The older kid showed her mom a plastic green ring with a big frog face on it.

"Oh, that's pretty honey." Julia said, taking the trinket from her daughter and examining it. She slid it onto her pinky, which it only fit up to the second knuckle. "Thanks, Zoë." She turned back to me as if she were going to start talking again, only to have her daughter cry out.

"Mom!"

Julia grinned and slid the ring off. The girl giggled, and took it, turning to Parker and handing it to her. The kid grinned up at her new friend, who looked to be around ten, and they ran off to play. Julia watched them go, then turned back to me.

"Anyway, so yeah, pretty much any instrument I'll do lessons for. Then you have my husband who doesn't know a thing about music." She chuckled, shaking her head. "He teaches social studies at the high school."

"Wow. He must be a patient man." I thought back to Keller in her early days with me. "I think I'd take each and every kid out and hang them by their toenails."

Julia laughed at that. "Sometimes he does. Want to, that is," she clarified when she noticed my utterly astonished look. She again smiled. She had the friendliest smile I'd ever seen. Very open. She looked at her watch, then turned to where our girls were playing. "Zoë, honey, we have to go. Daddy will be waiting. Come on, get your coat." She began to gather up their trash and the remnants of her daughter's half-uneaten lunch.

"Ah, man." Zoë muttered, but obediently climbed out of the pit of plastic balls, a crestfallen Parker following her with her eyes. "Mommy, can Parker come over and play sometime?" the older kid asked, plopping down onto the rubber-covered play area as she slipped her shoes on.

"We'll see. Hurry." Julia turned to me. "Sorry we have to rush. I lost track of time."

"No problem." I smiled, and offered to throw her tray away for her; she seemed to be in such a rush.

"It was really nice talking with you." She smiled, her brown eyes shining genuine fondness. I smiled back.

"You, too. Always nice to catch an adult at these places." With a wink from me, the teacher turned away and helped her daughter get her coat on, then they were gone.

Parker walked over to the table, plopping down with her chin in her hands.

"Why so sad, kiddo?" I reached over and fixed a group of curls that were being decidedly unruly. "You and Zoë seemed to get along."

"Can she come over and play sometime?" Big hopeful blue eyes looked up at me.

"I don't see why not. But we'll have to see, okay?" Parker nodded. "Come on, you. Let's go."

*  *  *

Garrison-

Well, I've been here almost a month, and it has flown. If ever I thought you were a drill sergeant at the hangar, was I ever wrong. I've never done so much hard work in all my life, but it's been good, and I don't regret doing it for a minute.

How is everything? How is Parker? Does she still hate me? How did she do on her spelling test? Did you go over the words with her like we always do? How is Jerry doing? Is he still pissed that he's left alone with Reggie? *grin* How are you? I'll never for get, you know, you taking care of Parker for me. Bet you guys are having all kinds of fun, huh?

Well, I have to go. Inspection is in four minutes. Please give Parker the other letter. Talk to you soon. Maybe Parker will talk to me this time. Fingers crossed.

Keller

I re-read the short letter, heaving a deep sigh. Three and a half weeks, and I missed her immensely. I looked at the folded paper with Parker's name on it, and set my own letter down on the desk. Heading upstairs, Tut followed, tail wagging in time with his quick little heartbeat.

"Honey?" I tapped on the kid's bedroom door, which was open slightly.

"Yeah?" Was the distracted reply. Figured it was okay, I stepped inside. Parker lay on her stomach on the colorful comforter, which she'd taken off her bed and splayed out across the floor. Roy lifted his head from his paws as his brother and I entered. Tail thumping dully against the wood floor, he groaned and rolled over onto his back, all four legs in the air, tongue lulling out. Parker giggled, and I smiled, kneeling down to rub his chest.

"Hey, boy." I glanced over to see what the kid was working on. Before her was a modest stack of loose notebook paper. She held a pen in her hand, stopped mid-word. Page after page was filled with her large, childish writing. "What's that?"

"My story." Parker pushed herself up to her knees, gathering the pages and trying to straighten them out, and setting them on the other side of her, avoiding my eyes.

"Well, this came for you." I decided to not push the envelope and make the kid nervous about her writing. I knew how creative she was and didn't want to discourage it in any way. I held out Keller's letter. The kid looked at it, saw her name written in small, bold even letters. She threw it aside, then plopped back onto her stomach, tugging the clipboard back in front of her, pen very tightly held in her hand. I could see her knuckles turning white. "Parker?" I said, my voice quiet. She looked at my crossed legs.

"What?"

"Why are you so angry with Keller?"

Parker's brow knitted, and suddenly she became the spitting image of her sister when she got petulant. "She left." I saw the lip slip out just before it began to quiver.

"Come here, sweetie." I pulled the kid into my lap, and closed my eyes as I felt small arms circle around my neck, golden curls tickling my skin. Parker began to cry, her little body heaving in sobs. I could feel her body heat rising, radiating through the thin material of her t-shirt. "It's okay," I whispered, rubbing small circles across her upper back, feeling just how small and frail she was.

When she began to settle down, she curled up in my lap, and I rested my chin against the top of her head.

"She's coming back, Parker." I said, smiling as Roy laid down next to his best friend. Parker absently petted the top of his head.

"No. She doesn't love me anymore."

I could tell by the kid's tone that she didn't truly believe that; she was being difficult on purpose. "You don't mean that, Parker. You know that Keller would do anything for you. Sometimes people need to do things that don't always make sense to everyone else." I paused for a moment to think. I knew there was no way the kid was going to understand Keller needing to find herself and figure out who she was. I had to put it in terms Parker could relate to. "Do you remember when you went to Stacey's birthday party?" I felt the blonde head nod. "And remember Keller wanted to take you, but you said no, that you wanted Stacey's mom to pick you up so you can Stacey could spend more time together?"

"Yeah,"

"Well, now Keller wants to do this by herself., without you and me to take her to Stacey's house. Keller wants to spend time with other people for a while so she can learn new things, like when you go to school."

"But why does she have to stay there?" Parker pushed away from me a little bit, just enough so she could look up at me. I wiped away a tear that was caught in her lashes.

"Because where her school is, it's too far for her to come home every night."

"Like when Stacey's sister went to camp and had to stay away for a long time?"

"Exactly!" Impressed with the girls logic, I hugged her. She smiled.

"Will she back soon?" Parker wiped away the rest of her tears and sniffled.

"Well, uh," I looked away for a moment, then turned to see two worried eyes. "Here's the thing, Parker. Keller is in what's called boot camp right now. She's learning what it's like to be in the military. Do you know what that is?" Parker nodded.

"They fight in wars. Is she going to be in a war?" Blonde brows raised with her anxiety level.

"Well, no, I hope not. Not right now, that's for sure. Do you remember when you started school? You were in kindergarten?" Nod. "Well, right now Keller is in school, and she's in the first part, which is kind of like kindergarten. Now you're a big girl in second grade. You got older and bigger and so your grade got higher, right?" Nod. "Well, Keller has to go through her own grades. So she'll be in this school for a little while, and she'll have to be away from home a lot. But she'll come back and visit as often as she can. And," I smiled, "when she's done, she'll come back home." I hope.

I could see the tears starting to well up in Parker's eyes again, but she was being brave and holding them back.

"We'll be okay, kid." I gave her my biggest, most encouraging smile, and she grinned, nodding, curls bouncing. A loud kiss on her cheek, and I left her to continue writing.

*  *  *

"Parker!" Goddamn, fucking kid, gonna kill her. I shoved my chair back, knocking it to the floor, and ran after her. She was a quick little bugger, but my legs were longer. Barely. The kid was growing like a damn weed. "Parker, get back here!" I yelled as she rounded the corner of the house, heading down the alley between our house and Susan Struthers' place.

Out of breath, but anger leading me on, I heard the kid cry out and a huge crash, and it pushed me on even further, faster. Sure enough, sure enough, there was Parker, flat on the ground, can of soda rolling away, and two metal trash cans spewing their entrails all over the kid.

Gasping for air, I knelt down as Parker tried to roll over onto her bottom from where she'd been sprawled on her stomach. Big fat tears rolled down her face, and I saw the trails of blood rolling down her forearm, as well as the bit seeping through the torn knees of her jeans.

"Dammit, Parker," I breathed through clenched teeth. "Are you okay?" She nodded, and I helped her to stand up.

"What the hell happened out here?"

I looked up to see Mean Mathiason leaning over his back fence into the alley. His wrinkled, pinched face held contempt at being disturbed on a clear, quiet Sunday afternoon.

"Nothing, Mr. Mathiason. Just an accident." I assured him, helping the kid to her feet, and brushing off the dirt and garbage from her ruined clothing.

"Yeah, well you'd best be picking up that trash. I ain't gonna have them trash people not taking my garbage cause some damn kid made a mess."

"It will be cleaned up." I looked at him, venom in my voice, and fire in my eyes. I never could stand that old badger, even as a kid. He stormed back into his house, grumbling about how awful kids today were, and how I'd not changed a lick from the time I was a kid.

"Come on, Parker. Let's clean this up." I was shaking with rage as we stuffed old newspapers, hundreds of empty cans of vegetables and the contents of Mathiason's many cat's litter boxes. Once that was done, I reached down, grabbed the dented can of Coke, and Parker's hand, and marched back to the house. The kid had to almost run to keep up with my angry strides.

Once back in the house, I slammed the can of soda on the counter, and turned to the kid with arms crossed over my chest. "What the hell was that, Parker?" I pointed at the can, my jaw muscles clenched so I wouldn't scare the shit out of the kid with the level of my absolute pissed offenses. She just stared up at me with stubborn eyes. "When I say no, I mean no, dammit." I was getting even more irritated by the fact that she refused to say a damn thing. Disgusted and hurt, I turned away. "Go to your room, Parker."

My eyes closed as I head the kitchen door swing shut. Grabbing the edge of the counter top with a death-grip, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep the emotion down. I wasn't a mother. What the hell was Keller thinking when she asked me to do this? Parker would probably end up even more fucked up after this than the kid already was from the first five and a half years of her life.

Angrily swiping at a tear that had managed to sneak out, I glanced at the table over my shoulder, still set for dinner, including Parker's untouched glass of chocolate milk.

"Can I have a soda, Garrison?"

"No, honey, I want you to have some milk, okay?"

"But I want soda."

"I'll make you a deal- you can have chocolate milk, okay?"

I remembered standing at the very spot I was at, stirring the Hershey's syrup into the glass of cold milk, and turned to set it on the table when I saw noticed the Coke was missing from my spot. Setting the glass of chocolate milk down, I saw Parker wit the can in her hand, about to pop the top.

"What are you doing?" I was stunned.

"I want soda." She had answered, more than defiant, her small fingers making their way underneath the pop top ring.

"Don't you do that, Parker. I said no."

When I had taken a step toward the kid, she had ran, taking the can of Coke with her.

"Oh, dad, help me." I plopped down in the chair, wondering if I'd done the right thing. Should I have just let it go? Give the kid her way? No. That wasn't right, either. Shit. Running a hand through my hair, I felt so alone. My appetite very much gone, I began to dump dinner in plastic containers for leftovers, then put all the dishes into the dishwasher, then climbed up the stairs slowly, defeated and sad. I stunk and craved a shower. Mean Mathiason's garbage was disgusting, and I was not keen on smelling like cat turds.

Once at the top of the stairs, I saw the light on in the bathroom, and glanced in through the open door. Parker was looking through the cabinets, the blood on her pants drying. With a sigh, I went in to help.

"Here, hang on," I said, my voice quiet as I grabbed the First Aid kit from the built-in cabinet behind the door. "Take your jeans off then sit on the toilet." Parker did as asked, still sniffling a bit, and I got a good look at her injuries. She'd live, but I knew the scrapes and cuts from the gravel in the alley were painful. Carefully picking out various pebbles and garbage shrapnel from her skin, I cleaned it then bandaged it. "You'll be fine." I stood, twisting the cap back onto the Neosporin and re-boxing the gauze and tape. I felt more than heard, Parker whisk by me, then the quiet sound of her bedroom door closing.

*  *  *

Sleep was not easy in coming for me that night. I had to fight for every ounce, but finally win I did, and victory was sweet as total oblivion took me over. Finally finding a place where my body could relax and let go of the tensions of the previous day, and even weeks, my headache down to a dull roar as opposed to the thumper it had been when I'd first attempted the sleep bit.

Even still, one eye peeked open when I heard the slight squeak as my bedroom door was opened. Soft, unsure footfalls made their way to the bed, and Tut lifted his head in curiosity. When I heard the dull thump of his tail against the comforter, I relaxed. The covers were pulled aside, and a small, warm body got in, making the slightest bit of movement in the mattress beneath us.

"Garrison?" was whispered, "I'm sorry."

I rolled over, grabbing the smaller, eight-year old body, and cuddling around her. Parker relaxed, and nuzzled her face into my neck.

"Go to sleep, honey," I whispered back. "Tomorrow is another day." I felt her nod, then we both fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

*  *  *

I tried to get comfortable, I really did, but it just wasn't happening. Even all the books I'd bought at the Wood Closet couldn't keep my attention. The seats were tiny, the space confined, and I had to give up control of my life, and that of Parker, all to some guy I didn't know, and had never met, save for his tinny voice over the intercom. What kind of way was that to fly?

Sitting between Jerome and Parker on a 747 was not my idea of fun. And it was a long flight to Texas, let me assure you. I had never flown on a commercial plane before as dad, one of his friends, or I had always gotten me wherever I needed to go when air travel was necessary. How on earth did people do this? It was boring, stuffy, and what was with the annoying ladies walking back and forth in the aisle bugging people?

Sighing heavily, I knew it was for a good reason, so I agreed to it. Keller was graduating from basic, and the military was flying her back, and she wanted to be able to fly back with us. This was sacrifice on my part; big time.

Looking around the cramped quarters, I played with the overhead lights, intrigued at how they did indeed send a tiny spotlight on one person at a time, allowing the other passengers to sleep or whatever. Pretty cool. I glanced across Parker, who was sound asleep, staring out of the oval-shaped window, watching all the clouds going under us. Oh, how I missed my baby. I'd be flying through those clouds, not this above them business.

Stopping my internal complaint reel, I tried to concentrate on just why I was in the cramped tuna can. Keller. She was graduating, she had done it. The smile came unbidden to my lips, and I didn't try to disguise it. We hadn't seen her, or barely spoke to her, in six weeks. I wondered how she looked, how she felt. Was she glad she'd gone? Did she regret it? Where would the Air Force send her now?

Looking over at Parker, I smiled. The kid had tried to act nonchalant about going to Texas to see Keller's graduation, but the truth was, she was ecstatic. She had refused to speak with Keller on the phone the two times the janitor was able to call, and I had no idea if Keller's letters to the kid had been read or not. But this morning as we were getting everything loaded into Penny's SUV, so she could take us to Logan, Parker was beside herself. She talked nonstop, which I knew was kid-speak for "I'm really excited, lets get this show on the road." And so we did.

Jerome rented us a car at the airport, and we drove to the hotel where we'd be staying for the next two nights- Parker and I sharing a room, and Jerome in his own across the hall.

"The airplane was cool." Parker said as she tossed her backpack onto the bed closest to the bathroom.

"Yeah? You liked that?" I asked, falling back onto my own bed, exhausted. Why was I never this tired when I flew my own plane? The kid nodded enthusiastically. I grumbled my discontent at the whole process.

"Garrison?"

"Yeah?" I looked over at the little blonde, wondering at her suddenly very quiet, almost shy, voice.

"We going to see Keller tomorrow?" The kid looked at me from too-long bangs. I nodded with a smile.

"We sure will."

Parker laid back on her back, staring up at the ceiling. I waited, knowing there would be more to come. I wasn't disappointed. The kid flopped dramatically onto her side, facing me across the expanse between our double beds.

"Do you think she's still mad at me?" She asked. I looked at her for a long moment, brows drawn.

"Honey, why do you think she's mad at you?" I also turned onto my side, head held up on my hand.

"Cause I wouldn't talk to her." The kid picked at the gaudy comforter beneath her, accidentally pulling a thread loose. She gave me a sheepish grin.

"She never was, Parker. That," I stood, stretching, and headed toward the bathroom, "I can promise you." I stopped, hand on the doorframe. "Trust me, kiddo, she'll be thrilled to see you."

"I hope so." I heard this as I softly closed the door behind me.

*  *  *

I buttoned my shirt, tucking in the tails, and adjusting my bead choker so it showed just right through the open collar. The mirror told me I looked good, even my butt, which I was forever convinced was too big for my smaller frame. Not today; it fit nice and snug in the khakis I'd brought along for this most important event. Hair perfectly in place, even my bangs behaving, I felt good.

"Parker? You ready?" I began to stow away my pajamas in the bag-on-wheels that my stuff was in.

"Yeah." The bathroom door opened, and I looked at the kid as she entered shyly into the bedroom area of the room. She had brought a dress along, specially picked out and bought for Keller's graduation. It was white and blue, all ruffles and childish charm, and Parker looked absolutely adorable. Her golden curls were pulled back away from her face with a blue band that matched the blue in her dress. The kid had picked it all out herself, and I had to admit her taste was pretty good. But then I had none, so how would I know?

"Aww, sweetie, you look so pretty." I gave her a huge smile, and she grinned back, feeling better with those encouraging words. She didn't often wear dresses because she was so active, though she loved them. Definitely not my kid.

"Thank you." She said, looking down at her polished Mary Jane's.

"Come on, you. Let's get Jerome and head out."

Jerome was waiting for us in the lobby, looking handsome in a brown suit with matching tie. The suit was obviously at least twenty years old, but he looked good in it anyway, and I told him as much. I didn't know sixty-odd year old men could blush. We all piled into the car, headed to Lackland Air Force Base.

We were let through onto the base and given directions to the Reception Center, where we had to sign in. At least this way maybe we could spend some time with Keller if they knew she had family here, and she wouldn't be put on barrack duty or something.

Looking around, there were people everywhere, and I felt a rush of pride. All these folks were there to see some kid graduating from six weeks of intense training, too. I almost felt some sort of bond with them. It was the night before the actual graduation parade, and I wanted to see the retreat ceremony that Keller always talked about in her letters.

Parker was all eyes, looking everywhere, taking it all in. Secretly I think she was looking for even just a glimpse of Keller. We followed the crowds to the parking lot behind the reception center where music was being piped through the public address system. A huge flag pole stood off to the side. I shielded my eyes as I looked up into the sky to the top of the pole where the American flag waved proudly in the breezy, hot Texas air. My attention was quickly grabbed by the marching recruits, in perfect lines, each like a robot, all looking alike, stone-faced, movements precise.

Frantically, I tried to see those stunning baby blues, but it was difficult. Granted, the women were shorter then most of their male counterparts, but still, when they're all dressed in BDU's, it's pretty hard to point out a tall woman, and not think she was a man. Also, from the distance we were in the stands, it was near impossible to make out any specific details. So instead, I tried to pay attention to where her unit number was called out.

I started as orders were yelled out and the recruits stopped marching. Looking on in wonder, the flag was slowly lowered as "To The Colors" was played on a bugle. Watching the colors of my country being lowered, honored and loved by so many, it brought tears to my eyes, and a lump to my throat. It brought on an incredibly feeling of unity and patriotism that I had never experienced before. I used to get a wee bit of that feeling when I recited the "Pledge Of Allegiance" in school, but that had been years ago. Now it meant something far more.

Knowing that Keller was out there somewhere ....

After the ceremony was finished, the flag folded and securely stowed, it was announced that we could "find our recruit."

"Does that mean we get to go now?" Parker asked, blue eyes sparkling with excitement, earlier worries forgotten.

"Yep." I stood, making sure Jerome was with us, and grabbed the kid's hand. "Do not let go of me, Parker."

"Kay."

The throngs of people were amazing- plain clothes, uniforms. Crazy business, and it's hell being short. I was tempted to start jumping so I could see over the heads of people. Even Jerome, at almost six foot, was having a hard time finding our girl. I could tell the other girl was getting very anxious- buried in a pit of people, the kid had no air and could see no daylight. They all looked alike!

"You lost?"

I jumped, hearing a deep, velvety voice in my ear. Jerking my head around, I saw the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

"Keller!" I threw my arms around her neck, and felt hers around my waist. Knowing there was someone who was just as anxious to get in on the action, I stepped back, and watched as the sister's saw each other for the first time after a not-so-nice parting. Keller looked down at Parker, unsure. It didn't last long as Parker nearly bowled the tall woman over with her exuberant hug. Keller hugged the kid to her, wrapping her arms around her, eyes closed tight with relief.

Jerome and I exchanged a glance, and he ran the back of his hand across his forehead in an exaggerated gesture of relief. I nodded my agreement, then turned my attention back to Keller. Had she grown even taller in six weeks? Her shoulders were squared, as was her jaw, the tanned skin stretched over the bone structure of her face making her even more beautiful than she had been before. Her eyes opened and met mine. She smiled at me, and somehow I knew it was a thank you. I smiled back and nodded.

Finally, reluctantly, Parker let go, but clung to Keller's hand. "Hey, Jerry. How goes it?" Keller held her hand out to him, and he took it, wincing at the tight, confident handshake that pumped his hand up and down once. "Thanks for coming."

"Anytime, kiddo," the older mechanic said, his teeth white and polished. "So, you guys want a tour of the place? I've got until about 19:30."

"Nineteen who?"

"Seven-thirty," Jerome muttered.

"Oh." Feeling like a dork, I grinned. "Yeah!"

"Great. Follow me." Keller, still holding Parker's hand, turned and began to lead us through the crowd that was still thick as thieves. I watched the janitor as she went, nodding at various people, saying hi to just about everyone in uniform we passed, and saluting several, also. I was astonished. Who was this girl, and where was my Keller?

PART 17

THE FLIGHT WAS squished again, but I was getting somewhat used to, I suppose.  Not that I would be doing it again anytime soon, mind you.  Parker was again at the window, and Keller was to my left, long legs stretched out in the aisle along the seat in front of her.  She had her eyes closed, head resting against the seat, hands dangling off the ends of the armrests.  I took in her profile- straight nose, full lips, sculpted chin leading down a long, smooth neck.  Her dark hair was pinned back tightly, her Garrison cap that adorned her dress blues, long removed.  The blue uniform hugged a newly chiseled body- flat stomach, muscular, tanned arms and legs.  I had to smirk when I thought about what Keller’s reaction must have been when she found out she’d have to wear a skirt.

My attention was taken away when I felt a head lay against my shoulder.  Parker smacked her lips in sleep, nuzzling closer to me.  I smiled, tapping the top of her head with a kiss.  Sleep well, my little one.

Turning back to Keller, my gaze was met by two ridiculously blue eyes.

“Good morning, sunshine.” I whispered, so as not to wake up the kid.

“Hi.  So I’ve decided the Cessna is a much better way to travel.” She whispered back.

“You, too, huh?” I grinned, and so did she. “So are you glad to be going home?  Even if it for a month.”  I felt sad at that, but knew it was the nature of the beast.  She nodded.

“Yeah.” Looking toward the front of the plane, and the back of Jerome’s seat, she sighed. “It’ll be nice to get back into the hangar.”

“You think so?  You think I’m gonna let you right back in, huh?”  I smirked, eyes shining with mischief.  She looked at me again, face like stone, eyes narrowed.  I couldn’t hold it and laughed quietly. “We’ll be glad to have you back, Keller.  Even if it is for a few weeks.”

“Good.  I knew you’d come around to the proper way of thinking.”  She opened up her magazine with a dramatic flourish that had me chuckling again.

“She’s really missed you.” I said, opening my own book.  I felt those eyes on me again.

“I doubt that.  I’m sure you kept her so busy she didn’t even know I was gone.”My head shot around, eyes boring into hers.  “You don’t really think that, do you?  Come on, Keller, you’re her life.”  Keller looked around me, taking in the way her little sister was cuddled up to me.  When we’d gotten onto the plane I was ready to be smooshed by the window so that Parker could sit next to Keller, but she said she wanted me to sit in the middle so that “we both can have you”.

“Looks like she’s doing just fine to me.”  Keller smiled, but it was very sad, and she quickly looked away.  I sighed.

“We have gotten close, but she still adores you, Keller.  To tell you just how much she loves you, you should think about how she was when you left.  She was hurt and thought you were leaving her, too.”

“I do think about it.  Every day.”  Keller smiled at the flight attendant who was offering her a micro bag of pretzels and drink option.  Our goodies splayed out on the fold-down trays, I knew a change of subject was in order.  Parker had woken up to eat and drink her milk.  Somehow I didn’t think Keller would want her heart displayed out before the object of her pain.

*  *  *

Keller was so cute.  She reminded me of Johnny Depp in ‘Edward Scissorhands,’ when Diane Weiss was driving him through his new town, face plastered to the window to catch every last detail.Parker started to squirm as we got closer to the house, and I gave her a look of warning.  Jerome was also trying to keep his own grin to a minimum.  She quit.  For about two seconds.  Turning the corner, the truck headed down the street until finally the old brick house came into view.

“What did you do?”  Keller asked, looking over at me with narrowed eyes.  I grinned, tongue caught between my teeth.  A huge banner was strung across the front of the porch railings, done in white paper and blue lettering- WELCOME HOME, SOLDIER!  WE’RE GLAD YOU’RE HERE CAUSE THE LATRINE NEEDS WASHIN’. She laughed, and Parker giggled.  I couldn’t keep my own grin away.  The front door opened and the entire crew came out to welcome back our war hero- Penny, Ruby, even Reggie.

When I stopped the truck, Jerome ran around to Keller’s side, opening the door with a salute.“Ma’am,”

“Sir!” Keller called out in a strong, confident voice, matching his salute.  He grinned ear to ear and held out his hand.  She took it, grinning at him, then, to my astonishment, grabbed him in a hug.  “Long time no see,” she grinned.

“Yeah, two whole minutes.”  They chuckled, and headed up toward the rest of the grinning guests.

The food kept coming, Ruby and I in the kitchen, making more hamburger patties, which Reggie flipped on the grill, set up in the backyard.  I had to laugh- there he was, in the middle of a Massachusetts February, huddled up in a coat and gloves, barbequing.The laughter around the house flowed as freely as the food and drink, and it was perfect.  Keller found herself surrounded by people who loved her, so proud of what she had accomplished.  Byron Hoff, principal extraordinaire, even showed for the occasion.  When he rang the bell, Parker yelled out.

“Mr. Hoff!”  She ran to him, stopping just short, and looking up at him, the cutest little look of uncertainty on her face.

“Hey, you.” The big man bent down to be on eye level with his ‘kid’.  “How are you?”

“I’m great.” Deciding that all was well, the kid grinned big.“Good.” The man smiled back. “Where’s that sister of yours?”

Without a word, Parker led the way.  When she reached Keller, the little blonde grabbed hold of her big sister’s hand, tugging until Keller looked at her, interrupted from her conversation with Ruby.

“You’re in trouble, Keller.” Parker said, bottom lip sticking out.

“What?”  Confused, Keller looked around, then met the smiling dark eyes of her old principal.

“Young lady, you’re in detention, so drop and give me twenty.” He waggled his finger at her.  Keller grinned, extending her hand.

“It’s nice to see you, Mr. Hoff.  What brings you here?”

“I heard about your accomplishment, and wanted to bring you this.” He handed her a large, wrapped box. “Go on, take it.”

After looking at it for a few moments, Keller did take the box, balancing it on top of a squirming curly blonde head, and gasped.  Blue eyes looked up at him, unsure.

“I hear you’re becoming quite the pilot, and every pilot has to have her own bomber jacket.”  He smiled, wrinkles almost consuming his eyes.  Keller looked back down at the rich leather with the wool collar.  Sewn on were various patches from the military.“That belonged to my little brother, David.  He was killed in Nam, and that jacket has just been lying around for years now.  May as well be worn again.”

“Oh, Mr. Hoff,” Keller breathed.  The house was deathly silent, all in awe of such a gift. “I can’t take this.  It belonged to your brother, you should have it-“

Mr. Hoff put his hand up to silence her. “Take it, Keller.  I’m so darn proud of you, and I really want you to have it.  Please?”  Keller looked down at the aged leather, running her hand over one of the patches, finally nodded.  Byron smiled.

“Thank you, sir.”  She bit her lip for a moment, then gave him a quick, one-armed hug.  “Come on, Mr. Hoff.  Let’s get you a burger.”  Keller smiled, blinding and beautiful, led the principal toward the dining room table where everything was set up.

I sat on the stairs, coffee in hand, as I watched everyone mingle and enjoy themselves, and each other.  Parker had not left Keller’s side, always wanting her attention, or just holding her hand.  Keller bowed to Parker’s every wish, making sure she was fed and happy.  I loved watching the sisters.  Especially Keller.

“Hey, little miss anti-social.”

Turning, I saw Ruby coming up the stairs, sitting with a groan on the step below mine.

“Hey, yourself.”She clinked her mug against mine, taking a long draught from it.  “What are you doing up here all by yourself?”

“Watching.” I said, resting my head against the rail next to me.  It had been a long couple days, and I was tired.

“Oh?  Anything in particular?”Looking at the older woman, brows drawn from the tone of her question.  “Meaning?”

“Meaning, you’ve been watching a certain beautiful fly-girl all day.”  She said, swishing the contents of her cup around.

“Oh, Ruby, I mean, you’ve aged well, and the formaldehyde seems to be working wonders, but please,”  I laughed as I was smacked on the leg.

“Watch it, kid.  You, too, will not be young and gorgeous forever.  But unlike myself, you won’t be old and gorgeous.”

I laughed as she fluffed her hair, ever jangling earrings announcing the movement.“She’s very beautiful.”“Yep, but contrary to what you think, Ruby, I’m not watching her.”

“No?”

“No.” I looked down into my mug, groaning inwardly at the snort.

“Right, kid.  Whatever you say.  You know, Monk,” I looked at her, hearing the softness in her voice, joking over. “I see it in your eyes every time you look at her, which is often, despite what you say.”  I met her eyes and the concern in them. “Be careful, Garrison.  I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Don’t worry about me, Ruby.  I’d never do anything in a million years to make her hat me or be afraid of me.”

“No, I don’t think you would.  Were I having this conversation with Reggie, well, it’d be an entirely different conversation altogether, mainly dealing with physical adherents and pulley systems.”  I laughed at that.

“That would be so wrong if I did anything, Ruby.  Shit, I’ve basically been her damn mother for the past two plus years.”

“Oh, I hardly think that’s true.  To Parker, most definitely.  To Keller?  Huh unh.”

“Honestly, I appreciate your warning and concern, but there’s no need for it.  I’m glad she’s home, yes she’s beautiful, but she’s my friend and lives with me.  End of story.”

“Come on, kid,” Ruby stood, using the help of the railing to pull herself up, and patted my knee. “They’re cutting that nifty cake you got.  Let’s get some sugar!”  With a cackle, she left me alone on the stairs.

*  *  *

Sound in the house woke me up.  Putting on a pair of sweats and t-shirt, I opened my bedroom door a crack, listening.  The TV was on downstairs.  Making my way out into the hall, I checked on Parker, and saw that she was sawing logs peacefully, Roy lifting his head in question, before laying it back down with a groan.Making my way down the stairs, I saw the light of the fireplace making shadows in the dark hall.  Keller sat on the couch, curled up, drinking a cup of something.  It surprised me to see the tape of dad’s appearance on the History Channel program playing.  It was showing old footage from World War II, and the B-17 Bomber boys.“Hey,” I said, walking to the arm of the couch.  She looked up at me, smirking.“Nice hair.”

I could feel it standing on end in every which way, and ran a hand through it, making it worse as it bounced back up.

“Sorry if I woke you.”  She turned back to the screen.

“No worries.  What you got there?” I pointed to her mug, which she looked down into.

“Hot chocolate.  There’s more if you want some.”

Getting my own mug, and bringing the pan out to refill her cup, I sat beside her, feet tucked underneath me.  We were both silent as dad’s part came on, talking about the planes used during the Korean War.  He looked so handsome, blue eyes shining with the subject matter.  Nothing would get him going like talking about airplanes.

“I really wish I had gotten to know him better,” Keller said, once his part was over.

“He was a great man.”

“Yeah.  I can see that.” Keller looked at me pointedly, and I smiled shyly.

“Why, Keller, did you just give me a compliment?”She grinned, turning back to the screen.  “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“He really cared about you.  He always knew something wasn’t right, but just didn’t know what to do about it.  I know he carried his guilt with him for the rest of his life.”

“Why?  I mean, look where we ended up.” She indicated the room around us.

“Yeah, but he always felt he should have done something far sooner.  I don’t know,” I sipped from my cup. “He never listened to me.”

“Frank was a very kind man who gave me a shot no one else would have.  For that I will always be grateful.  And I really think that Parker would love him, were he still around.”

“No doubt,” I agreed. “I think he wanted to turn her into the grandchild he never had.”

“Do you want kids?”  Keller asked, glancing at me.  The question took me by surprise.“I’m not sure.  It’s a bit more difficult for us to have them.”  I turned on the couch, cornering myself where the back of the couch met the arm.  “Plus, I don’t want to do it alone.”

“You are with Parker.”

“True.” I sighed, again, trying to get my hair to behave.  “But I think that having an eight year old running around with a baby, and only me to take care of them,  whoa, boy!”  She grinned.

“So, if you don’t want to do it alone, you want a ... friend?  Like Celeste?”I hid my grin, nodding.

“Does she want kids?  With you?”

“Oh, no.” I waved off the idea. “Celeste and I were basically just friends with benefits.  We’re not dating or girlfriends, or anything.”

“Were?  You’re not lovers anymore?”

“No.”

“Why?”

My mind whirled, not sure what to tell her.  Oh, maybe because I called your friggin’ name as we had sex?  Yeah, no.

“I don’t know.  Guess we just decided it was time to break it off.  We wanted different things.” And people.

“Oh.”  She sipped from her mug, seeming lost in thought.I said nothing, not wanting to break her train of thought.  If she had questions, I wanted her to ask them.  Nothing else came.“I really missed you, Keller.”  I began.  She looked over at me. “Even so, you look so good, and seem like such a different person.” The smile wouldn’t stay off my face, my pride radiating from me.  She looked down, shy.

“Thank you.” Her words were so quiet, I almost didn’t understand her. “I really missed you, too, you and Parker.  Heck, I even missed the boys at the hangar, and of course I missed the planes.”

“Oh, of course.”  We both smiled.“But I’d do it again, and it was the best decision I made.  I worry about leaving for so long, though, wherever they send me.  What if, ah , hell.  Never mind.”

“No, on.  Don’t even try that crap.  What if, what?”  I leaned forward, sitting cross-legged, elbows resting on my knees.“I worry that Parker won’t remember me.  Won’t want me, anymore.  Won’t need me.”  She stretched her legs out, crossing her ankles on the coffee table.

“Oh, I don’t think you have a thing to worry about.  You are Parker’s hero, Keller.  She won’t forget you.”  I set my cup on the table, putting my hand on her arm. “Listen, write to her, call her, come see her, or send for her to come stay with you.  Do you have any idea how much that would mean to her?  For you to bring her into your new world, it would mean everything to her, and make her realize that you aren’t leaving her.”  Blue eyes met mine, a wrinkle of worry formed between those magnificent eyes. “Trust in the love and bond you two have.  You’re a mother to her, Keller, and always will be.  Trust in that.”

“I can’t thank you enough for taking such good care of her.  Maybe too good.”  We both smiled.

“You don’t have to thank me.  I love Parker very much, and would do anything for her.  Or you.”

Keller smiled, looking down into her mug, then glanced over at me, though her eyes were downcast. “I know.  And ditto, by the way.”

I smiled, feeling warm from that.  “So,” I said, trying to lighten the mood a bit. “It seems our little Parker is quite the little writer.”

“You’re kidding?”

“No ma’am, I am not.  She let me read some of her stuff.  She’s really good, Keller.  The kid has an amazing knack for seeing life in a perspective that is truly remarkable for a kid her age.”

“Can I read it?”

I shrugged. “Ask her.  She’s very protective of her work.  But I really don’t see why she’d say no.”  We looked at each other for a moment, then I looked at my own mug. “I’ve been encouraging her to write, Keller.  I’ve heard it does wonders.  Dr. Reynolds said it would help her get feelings and emotions out that she may not otherwise realize she has.”

Keller nodded. “I think it’s a great idea.”

“So you don’t mind if I encourage her?”  Blue eyes narrowed as they looked at me.

“Why would I?”

“I don’t know.  Guess I just want you to know I’m not trying to step on any toes or anything.”

“Oh, come on, Garrison.  At this point?  Shoot.  I think we’re past that, don’t you?”  She raised an ebony brow, and I blushed.

“Yeah, well,”  I took a deep breath. “I bought her a desk for her room.  I figure that way she can disappear in there, alone and undisturbed, and write her little heart out.”

“Good deal.”  Keller stood, arching her back as she stretched.  Her shirt rode up, revealing a tanned, very firm stomach.  My eyes flew to the fire as a little fire of my own got started down south.  “I’m going to bed.”

“Kay.  Oh, and soldier?”  She looked down at me. “You are not to be seen out of that room before oh eight hundred, got me?  Get some sleep, relax, enjoy your time home.”

“Yes, ma’am.”  Keller gave me a half-hearted salute, and I rolled my eyes.  She grinned. “Night, Garrison.”

“Night.”  I heard her head into the kitchen to drop her mug off, then she climbed the stairs.  Within moments the house was near silent, save for the TV, the volume turned low during our talk.

Sighing, I lifted my legs to the couch, stretching them out over the distance.“Damn, Keller,” I breathed. ‘Why did you have to go and get even more gorgeous?”*  *  *

I declined an offer to spend the day with the sisters.  I figured they needed time together to get reacquainted, plus I wanted some time to myself.  That was harder and harder to do with me being the only parent in the house.

Walking downtown, I found myself headed into The Wood Closet Squared.  Several people bustled around, thumbing through books or chatting amongst themselves.  The two owner, who’s names totally eluded me, bounced around, getting stock from the back, helping customers, talking, ringing people up.  The store seemed to be doing well, and I was thrilled for them.

Heading back toward the biography section, I did a double take when I glanced at a set of two comfy chairs.  A woman sat in one, curled up, an LJ Maas novel in her hands.

Looking at the woman’s face, I knew instantly who she was.

“Hi,”

She looked up, that deer caught in the headlights look in her brown eyes.  I grinned.

“Sorry to have startled you.  Uh, you’re from McDonald’s,” I was wracking my brain, trying to come up with her name.“Julia,”

“Right!  I may forget names, but not a face.  Hi.”

“Hi.  Garrison.”

“Right.”

“How’s Parker?”  She quickly put the book down, seeming to hide it with her arm.

“She’s great.  Happy to have her sister home for a bit.  May I?” I indicated the other chair, and she sat up at attention.

“Oh, yes, I’m sorry,” flustered, she dropped the novel as she tried to organize herself.  I picked it up, handing it to her.  She lowered her eyes.

“Thanks.”

“LJ Maas is a fantastic writer.  I’d recommend ‘None So Blind,’ one of those stories that makes those of us who don’t have a single bit of talent in our entire bodies at least feel like we have somewhat of a grasp of the English language for a  few hundred pages.”

Julia smiled and chuckled.  “I hear you on that one.  I can’t write, either.  I’ll write you a song, but a novel, forget it.”  She looked uncomfortable.“How is your daughter?”

“Zoe?  She’s great.  Thanks for asking.  She still asks about Parker.” She smiled.“Well, why don’t we set up a play date for them?  I know Parker would love it.”

“Yeah!” Julia said, brightening at the idea. “We really should.”

“Afternoon, ladies.”

We both looked up to see one of the owners stocking books in a fixture near us.  It was the shorter of the two, though today she lacked the doo-rag.  Her hair was blonde, reaching her shoulders.  She smiled at us both, and I grinned back.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hi there, I’m Jenny.” The blonde put the last of her books away, then walked over to us, extending her hand to Julia. “Co-owner of this fine book store.”

My companion smiled brightly, taking the hand in her own.“This is a great store,”

“Oh, stop,” Jenny waved the compliment away, but eyed her out of the corner of her eye, “No, just kidding, you can keep going.”

Julia and I laughed, then so did Jenny.

“I haven’t seen you in here before.” Jenny stood there, hand on hip, resting against the book shelf she had just been stocking.

“Well, I just kind of stumbled in here today.” Julia glanced over at me, then looked at her fidgeting hands.  Jenny’s green eyes met my own, one blonde brow raising ever so slightly.  I shrugged.“It’s great to have you.  Anything I can help you find, perhaps order for you?”

“Oh, no, no thank you.” Julia gave her a winning smile. “Garrison has recommended a some titles for me, so I think I might give them a try.”

“Oh yeah, if you want something good to read, that’s your source.” Jenny put her hand on my shoulder, and I blushed. “This one goes through them like water.”

“I do not,” I muttered, embarrassed.

“Okay, maybe like coffee- she blows on them for a sec to let them cool.”  Jenny and Julia both seemed to be enjoying my eternal discomfort at being the center of the conversation.  A quick slap on my back, and Jenny excused herself with another smile.

“Really nice woman.” Julia said, glancing after the smaller owner, then turned her brown eyes on me.  I nodded.

“Yeah.  She and Sean are both great gals.”

“Who’s Sean?”

“Jenny’s partner and the other owner of the store.”

“Ohhhh,” Julia ran a hand through auburn hair, then gathered the book that was in her lap into her hands.  “I should go.  I bet David and Zoe are waiting for me by now.”

“Oh, okay.”  We both stood, and I held up a finger, telling her to hold on.  Searching through a near-bye fixture, I found the title I was looking for.  “You’ll like this- trust me.” I smiled gently at her, handing her ‘None So Blind.’“Thank you.” She took it from me, cradling it with the other book in her hands.  “It was really nice to see you again, Garrison.” She smiled.

“You, too.  Oh, and I was serious,” I grabbed a piece of scratch paper that Jenny and Sean so thoughtfully provided to their customers, and scribbled down my number. “When you and Zoe, and even David, are free, give me a buzz.  I’ll make dinner and the girls can play.” I gave her my most winning smile, and she took the paper, tucking it into her pocket with a smile of her own.

“Thanks, Garrison.  I’ll do that.  Have a nice day.”

“You, too.”  I watched her go, aware of a presence next to me.

“Mm, she’s beautiful.”

I looked to see Jenny watching the gentle sway of Julia’s hips as she made her way to the checkout counter.“Jenny, she’s married with a kid.”

“Uh huh,”

Rolling my eyes,  I headed into the stacks to find something to read.

*  *  *

“Okay, watch your horizon,” I glanced over, seeing the nod of my pilot, and she straightened the plane out.  “Nicely done.” Keller grinned, but kept her eyes on the skies before us.

“I missed this while I was in Texas,” she said, her head snapping back to see a bird that nearly became a wing ornament.

“I bet.  I also bet you’re really going to miss this once you’re in San Diego.”

“No, joke.”

“But, the way I figure it, you’ll be able to come back and teach Jerome a thing or two.” We grinned at each other. “Maybe you can become my head mechanic.”

“Ha!  Screw that, I’ll become you’re damn head pilot.”  She grinned, nice and evil.

“Right on, Keller.  It’s good to have a dream.  Besides, you’re going to plane mechanic school.  Who’s gonna teach you how to fly good enough to become my head pilot?”

“Why, you will, of course.”  She looked at me, all smiles, full of teeth.  It reminded me of Parker.  I threw my head back and laughed. “Just fly the damn plane.”

We were silent for a bit.  It was strange for me to give the controls over to someone else.  True, I had to keep an eye on what Keller was doing, but in all honesty, between my lessons, and the wonderful teachings of Ruby, the janitor knew her shit.  She had a natural tack behind the stick, and her instincts were impeccable.  In truth, though I’d never tell her this, she could very easily become my head pilot, and I could take care of more of the things I wanted to do.  She could more than handle it, and I knew she’d love it.  But, alas, first things first.

First she had to get through the next four years in the Air Force before she’d even be free for such a thing.  Damn, I’d miss her.

*  *  *

Two weeks after seeing her in the bookstore, Julia called, and we made arrangements for her and Zoe to come over for dinner.  Keller and I fired up the barbeque, and our guests had arrived, carrying a pan of potato salad and baked beans.

March was here, and the weather was beautiful, unseasonably so.  Deciding to eat outside, absorbing as much sun as we could, Julia and I sat at the picnic table sipping iced tea, Zoe and Parker running around like little animals, having the time of their lives.

Keller also sat at the table, though she was quiet, reserved, watching everything going on around her.  It almost reminded me of how she used to be, always observing.  I don’t think she was uncomfortable, but I did wish she’d join in the conversation.  I tried to bring her in, but she gave short, uninterested answers.  Finally she got up and started playing with the girls, thrilling Parker to no end.

Julia watched them all play, both of us laughing as the girls managed to overpower the bigger girl, knocking her to the ground for them to tickle mercilessly.“She’s a really beautiful girl,” my guest said, sipping her tea.  I nodded.

“She really is.  She’s gotten even more so since she got back from boot camp.”

“Really?”  I met dark eyes.

“Yeah.  She has a confidence about her now that I don’t think she’s ever had.  It’s been an amazing thing to watch.”

“Is she always so quiet?”

“She’s not a big talker.  It took me a long time to figure that out, then even longer to not get offended.” I chuckled at the memory, watching as Parker led her sister over to the swing set by the hand, telling Keller that she had to swing high, and jump from the swing.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen eyes that color before.”

“Oh, I know.  I remember the first time I saw them- we were at the hangar, this was long before she started living with me.  Anyway, she was looking up into the sun, sunglasses firmly in place.  She took them off, and oh my god.  I was blown away.  Beautiful.”

“Hmm,” Julia snagged a tortilla chip from the open bag, nibbling on it.  “You were right about that book, by the way.” She eyed me, then looked down at her glass of tea.

“I’m really glad you liked it.  It’s always been one of my favorites.”

“Which were you more like?  Taylor, knowing exactly who you were and what you wanted, or Tory, not sure of anything.”

“Hmm,” I rubbed my jaw as I stared out into the yard, the antics of the three out of focus as I delved back into my memories.  “I guess I was somewhere in the middle.  I wasn’t as cocksure as Taylor was, but not quiet as clueless as Tory,” we both grinned. “I knew there was something different about me, but I just couldn’t put a finger on it.”

“Did you date guys, like Tory?”

I nodded. “Some.  All were totally a waste of time.  None of them interested me in the least,” I wrinkled my nose at a memory. “I remember when it used to come time for the date to end, oh god I dreaded it.”

“Why?” Julia was amused.

“Because I knew the guy would expect something, even a kiss.  Which was certainly their right,” I said quickly.  “I mean, if they had to shell out the money during an age when they had none, I mean, come on,”  Julia grinned, nodding in understanding.  “But I hated it.  Finally I just stopped dating altogether.”

“Guys, or totally?”

“Welllll,” I drawled, watching my fingers as they picked at some peeling paint on the table. “Let’s just say I found my way.” I glanced up at her, an evil grin on my lips.“That book made me cry.  I was so heartbroken when Tory took Jessica away from Taylor, the only real ‘father’ type person she’d ever known at that point.”

“I know.  I’ve read that damn book at least two dozen times, and it gets me every time, even though I know what’s going to happen!”  Julia threw her head back and laughed.

“Pathetic, aren’t we?”

“Just good stuff, Maynard.” I downed the rest of my tea.  “So how did you and David meet?”  I was surprised when I saw my friend’s eyes shift, her shoulders falling slightly.  Uh oh.

“In college.” She looked back up at me, a smile, which seemed forced, curling her lips. “We started dating my sophomore year, broke up three months later, only to meet up again two years later, after we had both graduated.  We decided to try it again, and eight months later we have a daughter.”

“Oh,” I said in understanding.“He’s a great dad to Zoe,” she looked over at her daughter, eyes filled with pride.

“That’s good.  I was fortunate in that way, too.  It looks like she got a great mom, too, so I’d say overall the kid’s pretty lucky.”

Julia looked shy for a moment, whispering a thank you.

“Are you okay?” I asked, reaching my hand out to lightly place over hers that was wrapped around her glass.  She nodded, though her eyes were downcast.

“I’m fine, yeah.” She looked up at me finally, that forced smile again.

“Are you sure?  I mean, look, I know you don’t know me all that well, or at all, really, but sometimes that’s the best way.  If you ever need to talk, …” My voice trailed off, and Julia smiled, placing her other hand over mine.

“Thank you.  I’m okay.  David and I had a small fight today, and I guess it’s left me, I don’t know, a little sad, I guess.”

“I hate that.  Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she saw that I didn’t believe her.  “He wanted to come today, and I told him it was more of a girls day out, kind of thing.”

“Ah, jeez, I told you to bring him.  Call him up, we’ve got plenty of food-“

“No,” she squeezed my hand to get me to stop. “I wanted it this way.  He needs to learn that he can be alone sometimes, and be just fine.”

I looked into her brown eyes, searching for the truth.  She was hiding herself from me, and I had to take it as gospel, so I nodded.

“Okay.  Well, come on.  There’s something I want to show you.”

We headed into the house, and I took her to my office, showing her the shelves that filled an entire wall.  A good portion of them were filled with lesbian books- novels, biographies, anthologies, you name it.She walked up to it, tracing her fingers along the smooth spines, then looked at me with surprised eyes, over her shoulder.“Feel free to borrow any of these.  I mean, hell, I’ve read them all, many two or three times, so there’s no reason for them to sit here and gather dust.” I smiled, and she turned back to the large collection.

“Wow,” tilting her head to read the titles, she read some of them aloud.  I stepped back, leaning against the large desk,  arms folded across my chest, watching her.  She plucked one from the shelf. “’Never Say Never,’”

“A fantastic book.  Linda Hill.”She turned, resting her back against the shelves and turned the book over, reading the back.

“Can I borrow this one?”

“Of course you can.”  I smiled.

“Hey, Garrison,”

I turned, seeing Keller standing in the open doorway of the office, hands resting on either side, and her eyes roaming from me to Julia, and back to me.

“Did you escape the monkeys?” I chuckled.  She grinned and rolled her eyes.“Not exactly.  I’m going to take them out for ice cream.  You guys want to go?”

I looked to Julia who had glanced up from her book.

“Oh, uh, I’m fine,” brown eyes looked at me, and I back to Garrison.

“I think we’re okay, Keller.  You guys have fun.”Keller’s jaw tightened for a moment, her eyes again bouncing between us, then she looked down, nodding and turned away.

“Will David mind.” I indicated the books behind Julia, and she shook her head.

“Nah.  He’ll be glad that I’ve got something to keep myself occupied.” She began to thumb though the book again, eventually, absently, making her way toward a chair and plopping down, eyes still firmly on the pages.

As I realized she was getting more and more into the story, I quietly left her, closing the office door softly behind me, and went outside to clean up the mess.

It wasn’t long before Keller and the girls returned, the girls screaming up the driveway as they carried their half-eaten cones in hand.  I had to laugh as I saw Keller’s face.  I think she was about at her breaking point of young, pre-teenage girls, so I decided to rescue her.

“Hey, soldier, come help me do dishes.”

Gladly, she followed me into the house, and took up the duty of loading dishes into the dishwasher as I rinsed them off.

“So, get enough young girl energy?” I teased, and she rolled her eyes.

“Oh my god.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled that Parker and Zoe are having so much fun, but I’m about to beat them!”

I laughed.  “Well don’t be so cool next time, and they won’t hang all over you like a cheap suit.”

“Cute,” she snickered at my allegory.  “Yes, I think my ‘fun adult’ sentence is done for one day.”

“And you did such a good job of it, too.”  I snapped her with my towel, which was a huge mistake.  She got me back, leaving a red welt on my arm.  Glaring at her, I turned back to my dishes.

“Hey, don’t start something you can’t finish, bud,” she warned, trying to squeeze some glasses onto the top rack of the dishwasher.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“So what’s up with Julia?” She asked, her voice nonchalant, washing down the spotless counter.

“Nothing, why?  What do you mean?”

“Well, you guys seemed to be in a pretty serious conversation out there, then you disappeared.”  She wrapped up the plate of leftover lettuce and tomato, sliding it onto a shelf in the fridge.“She was upset.  Her and her husband got into an argument today.”

“Oh,”  She hopped up on the counter, as her sister had done so many times before. “Why wasn’t her husband here?”

“Julia said she told him she wanted a girls day today, just the four of us.  He wasn’t too happy about it.”  I rinsed the last plate, then ran a sink of hot, soapy water so I could wash the pan I’d used to boil the corn on the cob.

“And she’s invaded your library?” Keller sounded surprised at this, knowing how much I valued my collection.  I shrugged, not wanting to go into my suspicions with her.

“She likes to read.”

“Well, then that’s nice of you to loan her books.”

*  *  *

“And then the prince looked at the dragon, the prince’s sword raised high over his head, waiting for the dragon to attack him with fire from his open mouth.

“The prince waited, his heart beating so fast he thought the dragon would start dancing to the beat,”

I smiled, loving the visual.

“Instead of turning the prince into a big barbeque, the dragon closed his mouth, and then smiled, a big smile, showing all his big, sharp teeth.  The prince wasn’t sure what to do, or what the dragon would do, so he stood his ground, sword still ready to cut the big dragon’s head off if he needed to.

“’Why can’t we be friends?’ the dragon asked, and the prince blinked, surprised at what he heard.  He was not only surprised at what the dragon had said, but that the dragon had said anything at all.  He didn’t know dragons could talk.  ‘We can be friends,’ said the prince. ‘But first you have to promise not to roast me.’”

This time Keller chuckled.

“’I promise,’ the dragon said, and they became friends forever and ever, the dragon always protecting the prince, and the prince always protecting the dragon, and the dragon even gave the prince and princess’ kids a ride to school, and all the other kids thought they were cool.  They all lived happily ever after.”

Parker looked up from her paper, cheeks beat red, her fellow classmates clapping, along with me and Keller.  I was so proud, and I could tell Keller was, too.

“Very nice, Parker.  Good job.” Mr. Arnot, Parker’s teacher, said, rising from where he’d been perched on the edge of his desk.

Parker almost ran to her desk, ducking in the chair before shyly looking back at us, seated at the very back of the classroom.  We both smiled enthusiastically at her, and Keller gave her two thumbs up.  She grinned, the gaping hole from where she’d lost two teeth, winking at us.

“She is so good,” Keller whispered, leaning forward in the small, plastic chair.  Her knees were almost to her chin.

“I know.  She has an amazing imagination.  I wonder just where it’ll take her ten years from now.”  Blue eyes bored into me.

“Don’t even talk about ten years from now- I have no interest in being thirty-one.”

“Yeah, we’ll talk when you’re looking at thirty-six!” I hissed.  She grinned.

After class was out for Parker, we took her to her favorite place, McDonald’s, played with her, Keller chasing her around the equipment, even after being glared at from the employees, she didn’t care.  This was for her sister, the world and McDonald’s employees be damned.After dinner, the three of us went to see The Lion King, which was being played at the IMAX, passing around a tub of popcorn, and me stealing Junior Mints from Keller now and then, only to receive a growl in return.

Back at the house, we gave Parker the choice- she could sleep with Keller, in her big sister’s room, have Keller sleep with her in her own room, or all of us camping out on the living room floor.  Without a second thought, she chose the latter.

Spreading sleeping bags out, the kid in the middle, we told ghost stories with the fire our only light, our little threesome flanked by Roy and Tut.

The truth of the matter was, we were doing two-fold.  We were spending a fun night with just the three of us, and we were trying to make Parker forget, if only for a night.

Keller was leaving in the morning for San Diego, and we had no idea when we’d see her again.

I turned to my side, watching as Keller tickled the life out of the kid, until the little blonde finally collapsed against her big sister, and was taken in a massive hug, Keller burying her face in the kid’s hair.  Her eyes were squeezed shut, and she held that kid for deal life.Part of me wanted to leave the room, knowing it was a very private moment for them.

I was stunned when I saw blue eyes looking at me, and a hand held out.  I scooted myself over, and was suddenly lost in the warmth of the two people I loved more than anything on the earth.

Parker was crying softly, and so was I.  Keller was holding us, and holding us together.  The glue.  I’m rubber, you’re glue ….

I just hoped we could all bounce back.

PART 18

"TELL ME YOU'RE kidding?" I looked at her through my bangs, not believing for a moment that she had done that.

"Scout's honor." Julia held up two fingers, and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, well you only made it as high as a Brownie, so I'm afraid that won't work." I touched the toe of my sneaker to the porch, pushing the glider along again. I had installed the thing a year and a half ago, and loved it. What was I thinking only having stationary chairs on my front porch?

"I'm telling you, Garrison. I went into that bar, it took every damn bit of courage I had, but I did it."

"And you danced with a woman?" I eyed my friend as she watched our kids sitting on a blanket in the center of the yard, painting each others nails.

"Yep. She was hot, too." She finally met my eyes, and tiny wrinkles gathered around her eyes as she grinned that shit-eating grin that, after two years of friendship, I knew meant she was telling the truth.

"Hot damn. Call me impressed." I sipped from my iced tea, the cool drink fighting off the harsh July heat. The humidity index was ridiculous, and I was sweating buckets.

"David has decided to move out." Julia's voice had went from the excitement of telling a friend a good story to the sadness of a wife, separated from her husband, because she couldn't decide what she wanted.

Six months ago I'd been awakened at eleven-thirty at night to someone pounding on the front door. Answering it, Julia fell into my arms, crying and clinging to me.

"He found them!" she'd cried, leaving me confused. I'd taken her into the living room, the lights on the Christmas tree the only thing illuminating her tear-streaked face.

"He found what?" I brought her down to the couch with me, my arm around her shoulders, pushing her hair out of her face, caressing the soft skin there.

"Your books." She shoved her purse to the floor, and three books she'd borrowed from me fell to the floor.

"Ah, jeez," I saw that one of the books was an erotic anthology.

"He thinks we're having an affair," she said through her tears, though there was some amusement in her voice as well. I was stunned.

"What?"

"Yeah. It's crazy, I know." Julia started getting herself under control, swiping her sleeve across her eyes and sniffling.

Her husband had not liked me when we'd met. One night I had the Jones family over for dinner, and Julia, Zoë, Parker and I had a great time, while Julia's husband, David, had been a pompous ass. I think it had mainly been toward me. I think it was mainly an issue of David having some trust and insecurity issues with his wife. Julia had not really told me anything about it, but by the way he was acting that night, he resented my friendship with his wife, who in his mind, should give her best attention to him.

Julia had offered to help me in the kitchen with dishes, and I'd told her that I would back off, walk away, as I had no interest in causing problems between David and herself. She had told me no, that she'd handle it and my friendship meant too much to her to break it off because of David's jealousies.

It was not my marriage, so I'd taken her at her word that she and her husband would figure it out.

Then she ended up at my house in tears. It wasn't long after that the couple decided to separate. Julia had enough of David's control, so they decided to take a 'step back'. David had moved into the basement, deciding to stay in the residence for Zoë's sake.

Now, sitting on the front porch, I felt my friend's sadness and confusion.

"When? Where will he go?" I asked, running my arm along the back of the glider, fingertip just barely touching her bare shoulder, which shrugged.

"I don't know where he'll go. He came to me this morning and told me." She glanced over at me, a small wrinkle formed between her brown eyes. "I think he's met someone else," she whispered.

"Ah, Julia," I gathered her in a hug, her head resting against my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"I'm such a bitch," she said, her voice quiet so as two very clever pre-teens wouldn't hear her. "Here I am going to lesbian bars to see if I have the courage to dance with a woman, yet I'm hurt and feel betrayed cause I think my husband has met someone." She sighed. "Guess I want my cake just to eat it, too."

I said nothing, knowing she was right, but there was no need for me to tell her so. I ran my hand through her soft, auburn hair, enjoying the feel of her warm body against mine, despite the heat of the day.

"I can't get over how big the girls are getting." Julia's voice was so soft, and the change of subject so sudden, I almost missed it.

"Yeah. I mean, shit, Parker is damn near as tall as I am." This was a fact I was not pleased about. Guess she'd be tall like her sister. I knew Al was a relatively tall man, probably about six feet two. I had no idea about their mother. "She can damn near look me in the eye now." I shook my head. The kid was only going into the fifth damn grade this coming year!

"I know. She's going to be a little heartbreaker."

"Just like her big sister," I said absently.

"Well," Julia pulled away from me, sitting forward on the glider. "It's time for Parker's lesson." She smiled back at me over a tanned shoulder, her white tank top bringing out he tan, glowing skin. Julia really was a beautiful woman, her dark eyes, auburn hair, angelic face. I smiled back at her, bringing up a hand to lightly pet her back. She sighed with a content smile on her lips, eyes shutting for a moment.

"You know, that's one of the things I miss most about what's happened between David and I," she said lazily. "The touching. Not even sex, really. Just the affection." Her eyes opened and settled on me. I nodded my understanding.

"I know what you mean. I'm not generally terribly touchy feely with my friends, so it can be hard." I agreed.

"You know what I miss the most?" Julia cocked her head slightly to the side in thought. I shook my head. "Cuddling. I miss a good, warm, safe cuddle. David and I used to cuddle all the time." She sighed, looking back out into the yard. "He was unusual that way for a man, very affectionate. I don't know," she sighed again. "Maybe it's hitting me today because I took his presence for granted. Now that he's moving out, it's really over, isn't it?" She looked back at me, and I brought my hand up to her shoulder.

"Probably so, Julia. I'm so sorry."

"Eh, come on." She slapped my bare thigh as she stood. "Let's not ruin a beautiful day." She turned to the girls. "Parker, come on, Liberace. Lesson time."

*  *  *

I sat on the couch, book in hand, ankles crossed on the coffee table. Julia and Zoë had gone home after dinner, about two hours ago, and Parker had disappeared into her room to "work on her latest masterpiece in literature." I had to wonder where the kid got it from.

I heard bare feet running down the stairs, following by two more pairs, Roy coming around the corner of the living room right after his best human buddy. Tut lifted his head from where he'd been asleep on the armchair across the room.

"Hey, Garrison."

"Hey, kid, oomph!" She landed on the couch, her head plopping down into my lap. I looked at the sparkling, smiling blue eyes that grinned up at me. Her long, curly blonde hair splayed out over my shorts-clad legs. "Finished there, Hemingway?"

"For now." She grabbed the book from my hands, holding it up over her eyes to read. "What's this? You're reading 'Curious Wine' again?" She looked up at me and I nodded. "You really need to get some new books."

"Well, write me some and I'll be happy to read them." I grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, right." The girl really was beautiful. Her skin, tanned from hours and hours out in the sun with Zoë, had an amazing contrast with those eyes, a bit darker in shade than those of her sister. Her lashes were long, and her young body was beginning to take on the shape of a young woman. Julia was right- she would indeed be a heartbreaker, some day.

"What's up, kiddo?" I began to run my fingers through her soft hair, and the kid nearly purred like a kitten. It amazed me just how different she was from when she'd come here as a kid just shy of her sixth birthday. She needed affection and love like no one I'd ever seen before. She craved it like most people craved air. She had found two very willing mommies in Julia and I.

"Did you know Zoë started her period?" she asked, setting the book she'd stolen from me aside.

"No, Julia hadn't mentioned that.

"Yep. Guess it was really painful, too." Dark blonde brows, not far off the color of my own. "Does it always hurt, Garrison?" She looked up at me, wanting answers. I shrugged.

"It depends. Like for me, for instance, I started my period January 4, the year I was eleven. It was a Thursday. I'll never forget it," I shivered at the memory, which was probably not a wise thing to do since the girl was tracking every nuance of reaction from me.

"Was it horrible? Why do you remember the date?"

"I don't know. It just always stuck with me. It wasn't fun. I woke up with it, this really gross, wet feeling in my underwear,"

"Eww!"

I grinned at the girl. "I went to my mom, showed her my underwear, I mean, shoot, I had no idea what was happening to me."

"She hadn't told you about it?" The kid looked positively mortified. I chuckled.

"No, she had. But being told and then experiencing it were two entirely different things. I had horrible cramps that morning. Mom let me stay home from school that day." Frightened blue eyes looked up at me. "But, before you freak out, the good news is that was the worst period I ever had. Now," I waved my hand. "Piece of cake."

"Really?" those eyes widened with hope. I nodded.

"Yep. A little discomfort for me during the first day, then it's smooth sailing."

"Will it be like that for me, too?"

"I don't know, sweetie. Everyone is different."

"Hmm," her brows drew and she absently reached down to stroke Roy's head, the big dog having squished himself on the floor between the couch and coffee table.

"But when it does happen, Parker, you can come to me, okay?" I felt her nod. Deciding to turn to happier topics, I began to run my fingers through her hair again. "Are you excited about your trip?"

That did the trick, blue eyes grinning up at me. "I can't wait! Zoë is soooo jealous. She wants to go to San Diego, too."

"Why don't you ask Keller if she can go with you? I bet she wouldn't mind."

"You think so?"

"Sure. I bet the three of you would have a great time." I smiled down at her. Part of me was so thrilled for the kid, going to visit her big sister for two whole weeks. But, I had to admit, there was a huge part of me that dreaded it when the kid left. It would be so quiet around here. What would I do with myself? So much of my day was spent with Parker, especially now, during summer break. She was at the hangar all the time, helping out, chatting with Penny, who adored the kid. Even Jerome spoiled Parker rotten. He didn't get to see his own grandkids very often, so I think the kid filled that spot for him.

"Okay!' Without further delay, Parker jumped off the couch and ran full speed to the kitchen, where the cordless phone waited for her on the counter.

"Parker?"

"Yeah?" she said from the doorway that led to the hall, the kitchen on the other side.

"Ask Keller before you invite Zoë."

"Okay!" Then she was gone.

Sighing, I reached down and petted my dog. "What are we gonna do wither, Roy?" I asked. The huge, black dog looked up at me with a whine. "I hear ya pal, I really do."

*  *  *

Julia and I watched our excited girls as they waited in line to go through security. I wished so badly that we could go with them all the way to the gate, but there just was no way.

They had both been instructed a hundred times, don't talk to strangers, don't accept anything from strangers, stick together, don't leave each other, ask only an airport employee to help you find the baggage claim in San Diego.

I think the girls were about to beat us both.

"I should have flown them myself," I said for the thirtieth time, and that was just in the one day.

"Stop it, Garrison. They'll be fine. You have your own business to run."

"I know, but,"

"No buts about it. Come on." Julia tugged me by the arm, leading me through the airport and out the main doors. I couldn't help but looking over my shoulder, hoping to get one last glimpse of the kid, though she was long gone, on her way to gate 34A.

"Do you really think they'll be okay?" I asked, buckling my seatbelt in the truck. Julia chuckled, buckling her own on the passenger side.

"Garrison, Zoë flies to see her grandparents by herself all the time, and has since she was ten. Really, they'll be okay."

I sighed, brows furrowed. I felt a hand rest on mine, making me glance over at her.

"They'll be fine."

Nodding, I put the truck into drive, and we were headed back to Warwick.

"So, did David get that apartment?" I asked finally, a light, summer rain tickling the windshield.

"Yeah. A U-Haul showed up at the house Tuesday, and David, a couple of his fellow teachers, and the woman I found out he's been having an affair with for three months, helped out, too."

"How do you feel?" It had been three weeks since David had announced his intentions to move, and it had been a very difficult time for my friend, filled with trepidation, excitement and sadness.

"Relieved, in some ways. I mean, the security of having him in the house was nice, but at the same time, having him all the way in the basement, like some roommate or something, was pretty hard." Julia flicked on the air conditioner, positioning all her vents so they blared directly on her face. Her hair was blown back from her face, the heavy air currents making her squint or lose all moisture in her eyes.

"I can understand that. Are you going to file? How is Zoë handling all of this?" I flicked my turn signal, checking the rearview mirror as I changed lanes, our exit not too far up the pike.

"I think I should. There's no reason to keep dragging this on. Just because I'm fucked up doesn't mean he has to pay for it, too."

My head snapped around and I looked at her. "What?!" She looked at me, surprised at my tone.

"What?"

"You are not fucked up, Julia. Don't take all the responsibility for this on your shoulders. David has made his own decisions, too."

"Garrison, this all started because I couldn't figure out who the hell I was. I mean, shit, if only I'd realized I was bi-sexual before we ever got married." She sighed, looking out the passenger window.

"It's not that easy, Julia. Do you realize how many men and women get married and have a family and their gay? Shit, I think a lot of them do it to try and force that part of themselves down."

"I can see that. Though I have to say I don't regret it. Without my meeting David I wouldn't have Zoë." Her voice sounded so resigned, so filled with guilt.

"True. Will he fight you for her? I mean, I assume you're going to want to have custody of her."

"Oh, absolutely! I don't think he'll fight me. He loves her, but I imagine with this new woman, and their relationship being so new, I'm counting on him not wanting that sort of burden." She sipped from the Sprite she'd bought at the airport, then handed me the bottle. I took a long pull, then handed the green, plastic bottle back.

"And what about you? What's your plan?" I asked.

"Keep teaching, doing my lessons on the side, figure out a way to pay that house payment by myself,"

"Sell the place. It's a nice house, Julia. I imagine you can get a good deal off it, and get you and Zoë a nice place of your own." I pulled us over to our exit, slowing as a big rig flew by, then merged into traffic again.

"I might have to. There's just so much change for her right now, and I feel so guilty because of it. David and I made this decision, not her."

"I'm sorry, my friend. I wish there was something I could do. You know me and Parker are always here for you guys. Hell, let Zoë spend some time at our house. The girls would love it, and it would give the girl a bit of stability, familiarity."

My friend sighed, looking so small over there. She smiled at me and nodded, so tired-looking. We moved on to other topics.

I made us something to eat, then we sat on the couch, the boob tube on. I could sense a profound sadness coming off Julia in waves. Glancing over at her, I saw that she sat there, curled up in the corner of her side, against the arm. Her eyes were focused on the television screen, but I wasn't entirely sure how much she was actually seeing.

I grabbed a pillow, plopping it on my thighs, and patted it. She looked over at me, then down at the pillow, then up at me again. I grinned, she did, too. My hand came up to stroke her hair as she laid her head down.

I smiled to myself, secretly enjoying the human contact. From the sigh I heard below, I'd say Julia was just as happy. When I got a text message on my cell phone, telling me the girls had arrived safely in San Diego, and that I'd get a call later on, Julia and I both felt better.

We watched TV for about another hour when we both began to yawn. Julia sat up, stretched and looked at me.

"Do you mind if I crash on your couch?" she asked. I nodded as I stood.

"Yeah, but only if you'll sleep in Parker's bed."

"Oh, that's not necessary,"

"Listen, chick, there's no way in hell I'm going to let you sleep on the couch when there are three bedrooms in this house, and only one of them is being used.

"Alright, alright," she raised her hands in surrender.

"Smart lady. Night."

"Goodnight, Garrison."

*  *  *

"Tut, lay still." I muttered, shoving him with my foot to emphasize my point. That damn dog was half cat, I swear. He'd lay there and lick one body part or another for hours on end. It made the whole bed vibrate.

As I tried to get back to sleep, my eyes popped open again. Crying. There was someone crying in my house. Was Parker having another nightmare? She hadn't had one of those in months. Besides, she was in San Diego. Who the hell was crying in my house!

"Julia?" I sat up, cobwebs clearing, I hurried down the hall, listening through the closed door of the kid's room. Yep, she was crying, alright.

Tapping lighting on the wood, I called her name. The crying stopped for a moment, but then continued again.

Deciding to make sure she was okay, I turned the knob, glad it wasn't locked. Julia was curled up in the fetal position in the center of the bed, her slight body shaking with the power of her sobs.

Touching something deep within me, I went to her, gently sitting beside her.

"Hey, hey, hey," hand on her shoulder, I nudged her to unbury her face from her hands and the bedding. She looked up at me, her eyes wet and puffy. "Ah, Julia. Come here." Without another word, I gathered her into my arms, cradling her head against my chest. She began crying again, though quieter and controlled.

I let her go for a few moments, wanting her to get it all out. When she began to take deep, cleansing breaths, I smoothed the hair, wet from her tears and the sweat of exertion, and looked into her eyes.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" I whispered.

"I'm so sorry I woke you." Julia began to swipe at her eyes, running the back of her hand across her nose. I snagged a tissue from the box Parker had next to her bed. My friend blew her nose and blotted her eyes.

"Don't you worry about it." I smiled as I brushed more hair back. "What's this about?"

"Oh hell, I don't know." She sniffled and sat up, balling the Kleenex in her hand. I handed her another. "I think it's just a combination of so many things. David moving out, I miss my daughter," her eyes began to fill again. "And I'm on my period." She began to cry once more. Stifling a smile, I hugged her to me again.

"You've had to deal with a lot, Julia. Don't ever apologize for letting it out. Okay?" I felt her nod. "Come on." Standing, I took her hand, along with the box of tissues, and led her back down the hall toward my bedroom. Tut was right where I'd left him. He was not a happy boy as I made him move so my friend and I would have room. "Lay down, honey." She did, and I wrapped myself around her from behind. She wiggled her body back into mine, and eventually her breathing evened out, and she was asleep.

I laid awake for awhile, constantly rubbing her somewhere- her arm, her hair, her back. I even massaged the tense muscles in her shoulders, smiling at the soft sighs that escaped even in her sleep.

This poor woman, my friend, who I'd come to cherish very much. I knew she was going through her own personal hell, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to help her. I decided then and there that I'd do whatever it took to help her and Zoë.

It didn't escape me that I'd made that same pledge for another beautiful woman and young child.

That was the last thought in my head as sleep finally took me.

Until the phone rang.

The shrillness seeped into my consciousness, stirring my brain to focus on the morning light that filtered in through the closed blinds and curtains.

"Mm, get that, will ya?" I asked, realizing that I was on the opposite side of the bed from the phone.

I heard movement of covers, then tired fingers fumbling with the phone on its cradle.

"Hello?" Julia said, a tired, and quite sexy, I might add, voice. "Mm, hey, Keller. No, this is Julia. How are you?"

At the mention of the janitor's name, my eyes flew open.

"Hang on a sec," more movement. "Garrison, it's Keller."

I turned over to find the phone being thrust at me. I took it, sitting up. Clearing my throat several times to get rid of the sleepies, I put the receiver to my ear.

"Hey, Keller. How goes it?"

"Uh, fine. Um, so, Julia answered the phone?" she said, a strange tone in her voice that was hard to discern. It was almost some strange offshoot of sarcasm.

"Yeah. She was here late last night, so decided to stay."

"Oh."

Silence. Thick and heavy. Nervously, I cleared my throat again, putting a smile in my voice.

"So did you mange to make it through a night with those two nutballs?"

"Yeah. You know girls, up all night, talking, giggling." Her voice still sounded strained, forced.

"Good. It's about time you get to deal with it." I grinned, and heard a soft chuckle on the other end of the line.

"Yeah. How do you do it?"

"Very carefully. So what have you got planned?"

"Today we're going to hit Sea World, then later in the week we'll go to the San Diego Zoo."

"Oh, they'll love that. Shit, I'm jealous." That chuckle again, low and velvety.

"Yes, well, become ten again, and we'll talk."

"Oh, never. I wouldn't go back to that age if my life depended on it."

"Yeah, tell me about it. I better go."

I was surprised, but sighed, resigned. I felt like something was wrong, and I wished there was something I could do. So instead, I decided to give her a quick heads up before I let her go.

"Keller, just so you know, I think Parker could start her period here pretty soon. Be on the lookout for it."

"I'll take care of it." It was quick and crisp. "I'll call later. I know Parker wants to talk to you, and I'm sure Zoë wants to talk to her mother, too."

"Okay," I sighed, hating the edge that laced Keller's voice. Why was she such a god damn enigma!? "You guys have fun today, Keller. Tell Parker I love her."

"Yup. Will do. Bye."

"Bye," but I'd said it to dead silence. Jaw muscles tightening, I handed the phone to Julia who had no idea what I was going through inside. The war that was being wagered against my brain and heart. I had no doubt that Keller thought Julia was in my bed because we had had sex last night. I could hear it in her voice. It almost sounded like disapproval, bringing back memories of how she acted long ago when Celeste had been at the house.

Fuck this shit! I decided to enjoy my time with Julia, my best friend. I wasn't about to allow any perceptions that Keller may have ruin my day, or my time alone with Parker away. It was rare that I had such time alone. No matter how much I love the kid, it was nice to know a bit of freedom.

"Do you have classes today?" I asked, turning to my side, head resting on my hand. Julia nodded.

"Yeah. The summer session. Why?"

"Play hooky."

"What?"

"Come on, play hooky. Lets be bad today and call in sick." I gave her a shit-eating grin, mischief in my eyes. Julia stared at me for a moment, ten without another word, she picked up the handset and dialed.

*  *  *

"I feel sooooo bad." Julia grinned, licking her hand where the ice cream had melted in the intense sun.

"Why?" I asked, chewing on a bite of cone I'd just taken.

"Why?! Why do you think? I just cancelled my class for no good reason."

"No good reason. Jeez, ungrateful welp." I muttered, shoving the rest of the cone into my mouth.

She giggle, which was absolutely adorable. We were in Woodman Park, laying in the grass, the sun shining down, our bodies only half obscured from its rays by the shade provided by the near-bye tree.

Taking a long drink from my bottle of water, I crumpled up the napkin with the red Dairy Queen logo on it, and stood with a groan, tossing my trash into a metal can not far from us.

I looked around us, seeing that there really weren't many people at the park at all. Woodman wasn't a very popular park, as it didn't have any equipment for children to play on, so it was often ignored. That was precisely the reason why I liked it so much, and came often with my camera.

I noted the large fountain just beyond the trees, its spray a fine mist in the heavy air, so inviting.

Looking back at my friend, I noted that she was almost finished with her cone, and waited until she did.

"What?" she asked, standing to also throw her trash out. I said nothing, only nodded toward the fountain with my head. She drew her brows, confused. Without another word, I bent over, untying the laces of my sneakers, then with a whoop, ran toward the fountain.

The water was amazingly cool, making my overheated skin zing in bliss.

"What are you doing, crazy woman?" I heard laughed behind me. I looked over my shoulder from where I sat, smack dab in the center of the fountain's pool.

"Cooling off. What does it look like?"

"You're going to get in trouble," Julia looked around, looking for the SWAT team, I suppose.

"Come on, Julia, live a little. The water's fine." I laughed, splashing around like a five year old. I yelled out, my voice echoing through the park, then laughed again at my own lunacy. Julia just stared, her head cocked slightly to the side, eyes focused on me, on nothing, on everything. She walked over to the fountain, her sandals slicing through the water of the fountain as she waded through, making her way over to me.

I grinned like the fool I was acting like, turning toward her, completely not expecting her to take my face between her hands, brown eyes closing mere moments before her lips touched mine.

Instinctively my hands found her waist, and I leaned into the kiss. Lips soft, unsure, yet demanding. Her mouth opened, and I gave her what she was seeking. The meeting of our tongues was like fire, which spread quickly through my body, sparking life and sensation.

The kiss lasted a couple of minutes, Julia slowly pulling away, her eyes opening and looking into my own. I saw so many things there, swirling through the rich color- fear, hope, desire and need. I had always thought it was crazy when I'd read that sort of description in books, getting a crazy, almost cartoonish, image in my head. But it was true. It was all there, and all for me.

"Wow," she breathed, her hands slowly sliding from my face. She swallowed, her tongue peeking out to just touch her bottom lip, that very lip that I had sucked on not two seconds ago. "I feel like I should apologize, but I can't." She looked me in the eye, seeming more confident than she had. "I'm not sorry."

She slowly sat down in the water, allowing the coolness to overtake her body, then without further ado, she threw herself back, and with a whoop, began to do, what looked like, making snow angles, but in the fountain.

Shaking myself out of my stunned state, I also threw myself back, and we began to play, little kids free from a day of responsibility and expectation. We looked at each other, grinning from ear to ear, and the water fight was on. An hour and two very wet women later, we were on our way back to my house.

"That was so much fun," Julia ran her hands through her hair, trying to untangle it, grimacing in pain at the knots that had formed.

"Sure was. And it felt great on such a hot day." I said, heading into the bathroom on the first floor to grab a brush. "Here, let me." I sat her down in a kitchen chair, and, standing behind her, began to slowly, gently, brush her hair out.

A silence fell between us, a somewhat heavy silence, though not uncomfortable. I had the feeling that Julia was thinking about the same thing I was- the kiss. Why had she done it? What had brought it on, and what did it mean?

I wasn't entirely sure I'd want to get involved with my friend in that way. She was beautiful, and I loved her as a friend, but she was still so confused, and I knew when it came down to it, she really had no idea what she wanted. Did I want to be the one to train her in the ways of loving a woman?

But then again, she was beautiful, had a great body, great breasts …

"Ow, Garrison,"

"Ah shit, sorry." Realizing I was pulling her hair, not paying attention as I got lost in my own thoughts.

"You okay?" I could hear in her voice that she was worried, nervous. Knowing her as well as I did, I knew she was scared to death that she'd crossed a line today that would hurt our friendship.

"I'm fine. Really. My mind was just roaming." I kept my voice light, but not unnaturally so. It was obvious that something was on my mind, but nothing bad.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, her voice quiet, glancing at me over her shoulder. I looked at her, looking into her eyes for a moment, trying to decide. No, I didn't. Smiling, I shook my head.

"Turn around so I can finish this."

*  *  *

Julia was an amazing kisser. The night of our first kiss, she went home, but I walked her to the door, feeling strangely as though it were a date. We stopped at the door, and she turned to me, suddenly shy.

"I had a lot of fun today, Garrison," she said, her voice quiet. I smiled.

"Me, too." As she looked into my eyes, I knew what she wanted, and knew she was too shy to ask or take it again. So, placing my hand on her cheek, I stroked the soft skin with my thumb, Julia leaning into the touch, her eyes never leaving mine. I leaned in, touching my lips to hers, closing my eyes and inhaling her scent.

I felt her hands take fistfuls of my shirt, pulling me closer to her as I deepened the kiss. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I spread my fingers out, touching as much of her lower back as I could, the skin so hot under the thin shirt.

Julia breathed a sigh of contentment as we continued to kiss, mouths lightly exploring each other, her hands finally letting go of my clothing and finding their way up around my neck, playing the short hairs at the back of my neck, making me shiver.

"God, you're good at that," she whispered against my lips before pulling away. "Damn. Do all women kiss so good?"

"Only if they're taught by me." I grinned with a wink, and she playful slapped me on the arm. "Goodnight, Julia."

"Goodnight." She kissed me softly again, then left.

PART 19

"YES, HONEY, ROY is fine." I covered the phone, grinned at Julia. "Yeah, he's been sleeping on your bed. Yeah. Sweetie, you know you can't stay longer- you have a recital, remember?" I listened, nodding. "I know, Parker. I wish Keller could see you play, too. She will be able to. Okay, sweetie. Have fun, and I can't wait to see you next week."

With a sigh, I cradled the phone, smiling when I felt an arm around my waist from behind. I leaned into her.

"You really miss her, don't you?" Julia said, her chin resting on my shoulder. I nodded.

"Immensely. But, she's having a great time, so I'm glad she got to go."

"Zoë's having a great time, too. She says she wants to move to California." We both chuckled. "I told her not a chance. At least not for another twenty years."

I turned in her embrace, looking at her with drawn brows. "Are you going to be one of those crazy moms who make their kids live at home until their fifty?"

"Uh," Julia looked away, pretending to think, then grinned at me. "Yeah, basically."

"Nice." I leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. "Come on. The movie starts in fifteen minutes."

It had been a whirlwind week, Julia and I spending any time we could together, when she wasn't at school, and I wasn't in the air. She'd even come down to the hangar with me a couple times. She laughed and chatted with my crew, and they all loved her.

I was fascinated by her, watching her talk, watching her movements. The way her body moved, so graceful, yet could be an absolute adorable dopey klutz. Too cute.

We had also spent much time kissing. Nothing more than that, though I would be a liar and a fool if I said I didn't want anything more. She was beautiful, fun, and seemed quite willing. However, again, doubts kept creeping into my head. Was she ready for anything? Did I really want the role of inducting her into her new life?

I shook those thoughts out of my head and decided to just go along with the flow.

That flow brought us to the movie theater where we found a place amongst the throngs of fellow movie-goers, a big bucket of popcorn for us to share, and a huge Coke in the holder of the chair arm between us.

"I am so excited," Julia said, squirming in her seat to put on a light sweatshirt she'd brought. Those damn theaters, always freezing.

"Me, too. I've been waiting to see this for-friggin'-ever." I leaned over, sucking from the straw, swallowing the cold drink that filled my mouth. "Mm, yummy."

Julia lifted her hair out of the collar of her shirt, shaking it free.

"I'm just thrilled as hell to be out doing something. I haven't seen a movie in a looooong time."

"How long?" I asked, leaning slightly toward her, letting her perfume fill my head. Mm, loved the way she smelled.

"Let's see, what did I see last in the theater," she brought a hand up, twirling an auburn strand around her finger. "I saw 'Meet the Parents' in the theater."

"My god, Julia! That was years ago." I took a handful of popcorn, tossing the puffs into my mouth.

"Hey, you know what it's like when you've got a kid. Add a husband into that equation, and you've suddenly got three." She took her own handful. I chuckled, happily munching.

When I finished, I reached over, covering her hand that rested on her knee, with my own. Looking around, she slid it out from underneath mine.

"There's people around," she whispered, eyes huge.

"So what?" I looked around, too, trying to see if maybe David was around somewhere.

"So, they might see us," she looked at me, and to my surprise, she actually looked a bit scared.

"What," I was cut off by the lights dimming, and the booming voice of the narrator in a preview. Turning away, stung, I decided to drop it, concentrating on the huge screen.

As the movie began, opening credits back by music, I felt Julia lean into me.

"Are you mad at me?" she whispered. I shook my head, saying nothing. "Is that a real no, or a 'I don't want to talk about it' no?"

I sighed quietly, then turned to her with a small smile. It wasn't worth a fight. "I'm not mad, Julia. Really."

"Okay." A quick smile from her, and a handful of popcorn later, she moved back to her side, focusing on the movie. With a small sigh, I rested my chin on my hand and watched the show.

*  *  *

"So, what's going on with that gorgeous redhead? Wait, what am I talking about, I'm a gorgeous redhead." Penny laughed at her own joke, waving her hand through the air as she took in my raised brow.

"At what point exactly are you going to realize you're not funny?" I asked, sipping from my mug of mud, perched on the corner of her desk.

"When you realize you don't have a sense of humor." She adjusted her glasses, looking at me over the rims.

"Maybe it's just you. Ever think of that?" I grabbed another packet of sugar, shaking it before ripping off the end. "Jesus, this is even stronger than usual."

"Someone's in a shitty mood," Penny typed in her password, computer finally finished booting up.

"Am not."

"Are so. Don't try and deny it. What, thin and gorgeous not giving out or what?"

Choosing to ignore her question, I asked one of my own. "What do you think of PDAs?"

"Public fondling? Hell, I'm all for it!" she grinned from ear to ear, and I rolled my eyes, then glared. "Okay, okay. Dayum. Remind to stay clear of you. In fact," she grabbed the microphone she used with the public address system. Pushing the intercom button, she spoke into it. "Boys, watch out for Garrison. She's being a shit today." Hitting the button to end the connection, she turned back to me.

"Penny!"

"Garrison!" She looked me dead on, never flinching. With an inward growl, I looked down into my mug. "And I happen to think PDAs are fine as long as they're tasteful and done with tact."

"Really? So, if some man, woman, or alien you happen to be dating, grabbed your hand while the lights were still on in a movie theater, you wouldn't freak out?" I set my mug aside, totally intent on her response.

"Nope," she shook her head. "But then again, I'm not in the middle of a possible divorce, and a total life change while in my thirties, either." She raised a brow at me, trying to emphasize the point she was attempting to make.

"So, you think I shouldn't be hurt, then."

"You are more than entitled to be, but, assuming that the scenario you put before me is what happened between you and Julia, I do think you need to be a bit more understanding. All this shit is new to her."

I sighed, taking in what she said, trying to wrap my mind around it and make heads or tails of it beyond my own hurt.

"Give her some time, Garrison. If you want to take on a newbie, you're basically dealing with a virgin, here. It comes with the territory. I mean, I know FDR was in office when you were still a virgin, but try to remember, huh?"

"Fuck you."

"Anytime, gorgeous." She looked up at me, chin resting on her hand, eyes dreamy.

I smirked, reaching out to squeeze her arm. "Thanks, bud." She blew me a kiss, sending me off with a smile and a lighter heart.

As I made my way toward my office, I was stopped by Jerome. He handed me two Tylenol, and then with a pat on my shoulder, and me very bewildered, walked off down the hall toward the reception area.

Shaking my head, I unlocked my office door, flicking on the lights to hear a small knock on the door frame. Looking, I saw Aaron, the thirty-something I'd hired to replace Keller in the maintenance area. He set a bottle of generic pain relievers on my desk, then walked casually back across the hall to the hangar.

"What the hell?" Following him, I saw him and Reggie giggling in the corner. "What the hell's going on?" Fists on hips, I looked from one to the other, then brought Jerome into my glare as he entered the hangar from the open bay doors, having gone around outside.

"What do you mean?" he asked, wiping his hands on a well-used rag. Reggie hid his face in his hands.

"This," I held up the bottle of medicine, the Tylenol Jerome had given me in my other hand.

"Well," the dark man said, turning to include his buddies. "We felt that if we could help out early, you know, helping to get rid of those monthly pains," the last whispered as though it were a bad word, "the better for everyone." There was a beat of dead silence before all three broke into raucous laughter, me chewing on my bottom lip so I wouldn't join in. I wanted them to think I was as pissed as Penny had warned.

Walking over to the group of men, who as one entity, backed away as I advanced. I reached them when they backed themselves against my baby, and had nowhere to go. Jerome had pushed Reggie in front of him, he and Aaron hiding behind the blonde man.

I reached out, as saucily as I could muster without puking, and grabbed the zipper head of Reggie's coveralls. I played with it a bit, pulling it down, then yanking it back up without warning. His blue eyes got huge, head thrust back to avoid losing his Adam's apple in the metal teeth.

"That's right, boys, be afraid, cause I'm a bitch on wheels today," I yanked once more for good measure, silently laughing my ass off as Reggie began to actually tremble! I let go of the zipper and sauntered off, hearing Jerome and Aaron trying to stifle their snickers.

Not me. I had a smile big as day on my hand, seeing Penny standing in the doorway of the hangar, huge grin on her own face. I lifted my hand, and without a word, she high-fived me as I passed.

Ah, man. So easy to fuck with.

*  *  *

"Oh yeah, there's been some real winners in my past." Sean smiled big as she poured more wine in first her partner's glass, then her own. "For instance, there was this woman, oh what was her name," her fingers tapped on the table as she thought. Snapping them, she brightened. "Sarah. That's it. This crazy blonde with great legs, ow! Well she did, honey."

Julia gave me a side glance, both of us trying to hide a smile.

"Yeah, totally a loon. I actually had thrown her out of my house Halloween night after a party she'd gone to. I met Jenny the next day." She smiled, and the love I saw in those blue eyes, aimed right at the blonde sitting next to her, made my own heart swell.

"How did you two meet, anyway?" Julia asked, stabbing a piece of steak she'd just cut, with her fork.

Both women looked down, soft smile on both their faces.

"Oh," I rubbed my hands together. "Me thinks we're in for a story." Leaning forward in my chair, breasts almost setting on the table, I waited.

"Go ahead, honey. You tell it so much better than I do." Sean said, squeezing her wife's hand.

"Okay, well first off, I was married at the time. It was a horrible marriage, just not a nice guy." She took a drink of her wine, and for just a moment, I noticed that her hand was shaking slightly. I also noticed that Sean's hand remained covering hers. I wondered what was up with that.

"Not a nice guy. The guy was a fucking monster," Sean clarified.

"Honey, stop, please," Jenny said, her voice quiet. Sean looked down, dully chastised. "Anyway, so I decided to go stay with my brother in the mid-west. We were in Washington state at the time," she said, indicating both she and Sean. "She was heading east for her father's funeral. My car broke down, she heard me crying on the phone to my mother about it, and offered me a ride."

"Just like that?" Julia said, looking from one to the other.

"Just like that." Sean said.

"Do you not know about crazy people? Either of you?"

"Oh, come one, now," Sean grinned rakishly. "How could I resist that gorgeous face and body?" she nodded toward her partner, and once again, the smile found its way to my lips. Oh man, if only I could find that.

"So you guys fell in love on the road?" Julia asked, leaning her cheek on her hand, totally wistful, far-off look in her brown eyes.

"Essentially." Jenny said, her green eyes closing as she received a kiss on the cheek from Sean.

"That is cool, guys. Good for you." I put in my own two cents.

Jenny, absolutely appointing herself as mother to anyone she perceives to be even the slightest bit unhappy about anything, saw Julia and I in the store one day, sitting together and talking about a book we had picked up. Well, I guess Jenny picked something up, too, because she invited us both over to dinner at her and Sean's house the following Saturday night. So, there we were.

"So," Sean said, resting her chin on her entwined fingers, looking from one to the other of us. "You two together or what?"

"Always to the point, love," Jenny smirked.

"Quickest way to get there." Sean said, nodding, then turned to look at us again, fully letting us know she hadn't forgotten about her own question, and expecting an answer.

I looked at Julia, clearing my throat. What were we exactly, anyway? We hadn't talked about it, hadn't put any sort of name, title or label on anything. Or anyone.

"Yes." Julia blurted, taking me by surprise. It must have shown on my face, cause I could tell those blue eyes of Sean's didn't miss a thing. She and Jenny swapped a quick glance, then Sean turned back to us.

"Cool." The older brunette smiled.

Julia shocked me again by reaching over and taking my hand in hers. I left it there, but was utterly confused. Perhaps she was feeling more comfortable? Hell if I knew.

We walked to the car, the late July night beautiful. The bugs were doing there noisy thing all around us, and a very nice breeze was blowing across heated skin. It had been a hot one.

"They're such a cute couple," Julia finally said as she waited for me to unlock the passenger door of the truck. I nodded with a smile.

"Yeah. They really are." I got in on my side, immediately rolling my window down then buckling up. "They've been together a long time, too. I can only dream that I'll have that some day. But I'll tell ya, the closer I get to thirty, the more I'm doubting my luck."

"Oh no, Garrison." Warm fingers on my bare, shorts-clad leg. "You're far too wonderful a woman to have any doubts. Any woman would be a damn fool to let you get away."

I met her gaze, and guilt seized my stomach as I realized my heart was thinking that someone else must be a fool, then. Smiling shyly to cover my thoughts, I put the key in the ignition, but my hand was stopped before it could turn.

"What's the matter?" I said. Julia looked around quickly, then grabbed my by the chin, pulling me toward her. My lips automatically opened to her tongue, hot and probing.

She moaned softly, a hand finding the back of my hair, fingers combing through my hair.

I pulled her closer to me, getting lost in the sensations of feeling the warm softness of another body, human contact and touch. Her hair felt like silk to my fingertips, the cool strands spreading over them in wave after wave of tactile bliss.

I could tell Julia was beginning to get really excited, her breathing increasing, her body squirming, trying to get even closer to me.

"Whoa," I tried to pull away, but she would have nothing to do with that. She held on even tighter, almost painfully pulling me to her.

"Don't stop," she said against my mouth before plunging in again. I gave in, kissing her with brute want before my conscious hit me again.

"No, wait, Julia, stop." I pushed her away, but just enough to get a bit of breathing room. Taking several deep breaths, I faced her hurt, questioning eyes. "We need to slow down."

"Why?" Hand to her chest, she also took several deep breaths.

"Because this is all so new to you-"

"Shouldn't I be the one to make that decision? Honey, I'm fine with it," she slid back across the bench seat to me again, but I stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Julia, even if this was going to happen tonight, there is no way in hell I want it to be in my truck, which is parked in front of Jenny and Sean's house."

She looked behind her, out her window as the lights in the house all began to go out, one by one. Looking back at me, I was relieved to see I'd said the right thing.

"Do you think they saw us?" she asked, amusement in her voice.

"Who knows. If so, maybe they got a good show and are about to have amazing sex." I grinned, then chuckled as I started the truck's engine, mine already on overdrive.

I drove her home, basically having to make her go inside and let me go home. I promised her we'd do something the following day, all day, she had my total attention. For now, I needed to go home and think.

*  *  *

I enjoy surprises. I enjoy them quite a bit, actually. But this one, however, was not a great surprise. Mainly because of the state my body was in, and the confusion that gripped my mind and heart.

I pulled into my driveway, and it was then that I noticed a bedroom light was on upstairs.

I grabbed a socket wrench from the glove compartment of the truck, and headed toward the front door, cautiously, looking all around me. The hairs on the back of my neck was standing on end, fear gripping me.

Sure enough the front door was unlocked, which made my heart stop. I know I had locked it before I'd picked Julia up. I know I did.

For a moment I thought about just calling the police, but that idea kind of got trashed when I realized my cell phone was sitting on the damn kitchen table in its charger.

"Fuck," I whispered. Then I heard my dogs barking, and that did it. Don't you fucking hurt my dogs! Bursting into the place, I didn't even have time to curse again as I landed flat on my face, my shoe still caught on something.

Looking back down my prone body, I realized it was a suitcase. What the hell?

Looking up, I heard monstrous footsteps coming down the stairs, and I flew to my feet as a smiling kid with bouncing golden curls lunged at me.

"Garrison!" She threw her arms around me, legs, too, nearly knocking me over the suitcase the other way. I gave her a big squeeze, seeing Keller smirking down at us, standing on the fourth step, hand resting on the railing.

I put Parker down, looking at her still smiling, even more tanned, face.

"What are you guys doing here? You're not supposed to be back for another few days." I looked from Parker to Keller, and Zoë, who stood behind the janitor.

"Yeah. Keller wanted to surprise you. See, she moved our flights up so that she could come back to, since she's on vacation now, anyway. She'll only be here for like a few days." Parker grinned at me, finally taking a breath after all that. I hugged her again, kissing her on top of the head. Damn, I'd missed that kid.

Letting her go, I walked over to Keller, hand on hip, smirk on my lips.

"Hey goes it, stranger?" I looked up into her eyes. No matter how pretty a color I thought Sean's eyes were, they couldn't hold a candle to Keller's.

"Not bad. And yourself?" she crossed her arms over her chest, tanned arms now muscular and extremely fit, her tank top, fitted to her svelte frame. I'd guess she'd gained at least twenty pounds in muscle.

"Not bad." Not another word was spoken as I found myself in those very arms I had been gawking at only moments before, and squeezed, lifted off my feet. "Ugh!"

"Jesus, are you eating air for dinner? You don't weigh a thing." I was put down, and glared up at her grinning face.

"Sorry, Arnold, but some of us have more to do than just bench small children for our own entertainment."

Keller smiled, melting all my irritation.

"It's good to see you," she said, all joking aside. I smiled.

"You, too." Then I gave her a real hug, feeling her warm body against me. It made my soul sing. "How long are you staying?" I pulled back from her, keeping a hand on her forearm.

"Until Tuesday."

"Isn't it cool?!" Parker said, standing between us suddenly, looking up at us, grinning as though her cheeks would pop at any moment. She linked an arm in each of ours, a chain. A family chain. "All in the same house."

"It's very cool, honey." I ruffled her hair with my other hand, which got a nice glare from her. "Oh, sorry," I raised the offending hand in supplication. "I forgot I can't mess with the 'do' anymore." I looked up at Keller and winked. She rolled her eyes, knowing exactly what I was talking about after spending almost two solid weeks with the kid.

*  *  *

It was late and the girls were tired, so Zoë just crashed with Parker in her room, and Keller and I plopped into the couch. She showed me some pictures she'd taken of her base, her small quarters that she shared with a woman named Catherine.

"This is us at the beach," she passed a snapshot over, and I took it, careful to handle only the thin edges of the picture. I looked at the two, both looking young and strong. Catherine was grinning big and goofy while Keller looked like she was about to roll her eyes. I smiled. That's my Keller.

Catherine was a pretty girl, and for some reason, I really studied her. Her hair was short, just sneaking over her ears, giving her an almost elfin appearance. Her hair was light brown, though I couldn't tell what color her eyes were from the intensity of the overhead sun.

"And our place."

It looked small, but was kept neat, storage compartments neatly stacked on each other. Only a couple magazines were scattered, and a shirt was hanging on the back of a chair.

"It's nice. Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I do. It's pretty cool, actually." She smiled, looking a little shy all the sudden.

"And you and Catherine get along good?" I tried to keep my voice even with just a tad of curiosity. Truth be told, I wanted to pick her brain about this woman.

"Yeah, she's great. A few years older than me. She's from New Orleans, and has this really cool accent. I find myself picking it up all the time." She chuckled quietly, flipping through some of the other pictures, showing me shots of her and Catherine with other friends, in their uniforms, shots of some of her superiors. It was a slice of Keller's life, and I was grateful to see it.

"Thank you for showing me these." I handed her the last of the pictures, genuinely glad. Keller looked so happy in the shots, so relaxed from the Keller I knew.

She shrugged, placing the pictures back in the envelope they'd come in when she'd gotten them developed.

"Guess I figured you might want to see how the other side lives." Small grin.

"Most definitely. I really want to see what your world is like all the way over there." I leaned my elbow on the back of the couch, leaning my temple on my fist. "I feel so out of touch with you now. Not a big fan, you know."

She looked at me, studying me for a few moments, then looked away.

"I'm glad I was able to come back for a few days, then." She looked at me, a side glance, almost coy.

"Me, too."

"However," she said groaned as she stretched, neck arched, arms in the air, back arched and tank tucked firmly across beautiful, round breasts. "I'm exhausted." She finished her stretch, and I quickly looked away, though she caught me, and we both knew she had.

Fuck.

Turning back to her, I pasted a smile to my face. "Me, too. You sleep well, kay?"

"Yeah, you, too." She looked at me for a moment, then stood, holding her hand down to me. I looked at it, then followed her arm up until I ran smack into those magnificent eyes, looking right at me. I took her hand and she pulled me to my feet. "Goodnight, Garrison."

"Uh, night, Keller."

With that, she gathered up all her picture envelopes, and was gone. I took several breaths, inhaling cool air to chill my heated insides. Damn, I really needed to learn some self control.

*  *  *

That golden skin, gliding across my own, the feel and texture of a woman's body the weight, so familiar and comforting. Pressure building between my legs, fingers lightly stroking me, driving me mad with want and need.

I saw Keller above me, her eyes filled with desire, telling me how much she wants me, though her lips don't move, and there is no sound behind her words. But they're there. I can feel them.

My body arches up to meet her, breasts on breasts, so soft, so wet, musky. My eyes close for just a moment, neck arching back as I'm overcome with sensation. I'm surprised to see Julia's brown eyes looking down at me, her body making me feel this way, making love to me. I want to ask where Keller has gone, but the pressure is building so quickly I can't speak.

Finally, oh, finally, the pleasure and sensation reaches its peak, and I can't stand it any longer. With a fever pitch, those fingers rub faster, press harder against my clit, my breathing matching my heaving chest, small whimpers and moans escaping my throat as I know I'm about to come, about to explode.

And then I do.

And then neither Julia or Keller is with me, only me. And Tut, of course, who was looking at me with utter irritation for interrupting his puppy sleep.

I was stunned to realize that my body was still trembling from my orgasm. Holy shit! I needed some serious help. I smirked to myself as I realized that I apparently helped myself.

"I am losing my mind." Scrubbing my face with my hands, I grimaced, smelling myself on my fingertips. Never in my life had I masturbated in my sleep. Was that even possible?

Meeting the accusing brown eyes of my beagle I glared.

"What? You lick yourself all the time, little man. I don't want to hear about it."

I hobbled to the bathroom, using a wet washcloth to wipe myself down, the insides of my thighs still slick.

"Gross." It always amazed me that what was totally sexy and a turn on during sex was quiet disgusting in the light of day, or the bathroom, as it were. You French kiss someone, getting their saliva all over you, and that's hot. Yet, if someone were to walk up to you and lick you, you'd smack them. At least I would. Quite befuddling.

Collapsing back in bed, I fell back asleep, which, I had to admit, was quite a bit more peaceful now.

*  *  *

Morning came before I was ready for it to, but awake I was. Groaning, I threw the covers aside, Tut prancing happily around the end of the bed. His ritual pee-pee dance.

Running my hands through my hair, I dressed quickly and headed downstairs. The rest of the house was quiet, all my girls still fast asleep. I opened Parker's door just a smidge to let Roy out so he could join his brother in going to the bathroom.

"Just the three of us again, eh boys?" I muttered, unlocking the back door. They ignored me, running out into what was promising to turn into a beautiful day. Maybe Julia could come over, and all of us could hit the park or something.

Filling the filter on the coffee pot, I began the morning brew.

"Morning."

Looking over my shoulder, I saw Keller pad into the kitchen, hair askew, t-shirt half caught in the waistband of her soccer shorts.

"Hey. Coffee's brewing."

She wrinkled her nose. "You will never get me hooked on that vile stuff." She muttered, opening the fridge and grabbing the carton of Tropicana. Opening the cardboard lip, she tossed the container back, her throat working with the long swallows. Shaking my head, knowing damn well that she'd never break that habit, I turned back to my Mr. Coffee.

"Want something to eat?" I asked, my back to her.

"Nope. I'm going out for my morning run." She said, placing the carton back in the fridge. I looked at her.

"Morning run? Since when?"

"Since I had to do it every single day in basic, and still have to keep up on the cardio," she said with a smirk.

"Better you than me,"

"I'd have to agree. You wouldn't make it past the corner."

I glared at her, then remained the amazingly mature adult I am and stuck my tongue out at her. She laughed and pushed through the swinging door.

As the clock over the stove hit seven, the phone rang.

"Hello?" I said absently, sipping my coffee and rifling through the Sunday morning paper.

"Hey, sexy."

A smile curled my lips at the soft morning voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey, yourself. What are you doing up so early?" Pushing the paper aside, I leaned back in the kitchen chair, crossing my ankles on the table.

"Lying in bed, thinking about you." Her voice was so breathy, making the skin prickle at the image that entered my mind. I could imagine her in that big bed, naked body covered just barely by a sheet. Her auburn hair spread over her pillow, creamy skin smooth in the early morning light that shone on her like a spotlight.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, shaking myself out of it. Parker, Zoë, Keller. Keller. I grabbed the newspaper again, flipping through until I found the funnies.

"Oh yeah. Are we still on for today? Cause you know, I was thinking-"

"Well, you might want to hold on to that thought. I think plans have changed just a smidge." I said, trying to get us to safe ground.

"Why?" the sexy voice gone, now just leaving plain curiosity tinged with irritation.

"When I got home last night I found a house full of people. The girls are back, and Keller, too. They wanted to surprise me." I explained.

"Zoë's back?" All irritation and curiosity gone, now just excitement.

"Yes, ma'am. She's upstairs with Parker as we speak."

"Oh, I can't wait to see her." I smiled at the smile I could hear in Julia's voice. "Did she have a good time?"

"I think so. Guess you'll have to ask her that question yourself, won't you? Why don't you come over and surprise her by bringing her and Parker breakfast in bed?"

"Ohhh, what a great idea. You, my dear Garrison," she purred, making me shiver. "are a brilliant woman."

I chuckled, deep in my throat. "I know." I smiled as our conversation ended with her laughter ringing in my ears.

*  *  *

I found myself being whirled around the kitchen to the music of Roy Orbison's 'Pretty Woman'. Julia sang along, turning me this way and that, both of us giggling at our antics.

Breakfast forgotten, the eggs sizzling in the skillet, a covered plate of bacon fragrant in the room, and two glasses waiting to be filled with juice, still we danced.

"Shit!" I stumbled, almost landing on top of a chair, when I was caught, the momentum of Julia saving me from a most uncomfortable landing bringing me into her body. At the sensation of full-body contact, we stopped our dancing, both our bodies and breathing reacting.

It only took a split second for my eyes to close before her lips descended upon my own, one hand buried in my hair, the other roaming down my back. I wasn't sure if she'd stop at my back or not. I didn't care. After all the tension last night's dream/masturbation had aroused in me, my body tingled at the very thought of being touched.

I responded in kind, deepening the kiss, my body putting pressure on hers so she had to move or be knocked down.

We were both jarred as her body made contact with the door of the fridge, my body going with the inertia, and pressing into her, making us both moan.

I can't tell you how badly I wanted to rip all her clothes off at that moment, plop her ass on the counter, and have my way with her.

But the opening of the kitchen door stopped me from doing any such thing. I heard a sharp intake of breath, and ripped my mouth from Julia's.

Keller stood in the doorway, hand still on the swinging door, eyes wide with shock, then quickly narrowing as realization hit. Her jaw clenched, chin raising in defiance. Her other fist balled up at her side.

I could only stare, struck dumb, not knowing what to say, or if I even should.

Another such time popped into my mind, a time during the Christmas holiday with Celeste on the front porch.

Keller's nostrils flared, then she turned, the door swinging behind her.

I broke away from Julia, running toward the door.

"Keller!" The front door slammed, and within moments, I heard my truck roar to life. "Fuck. Not again."

"What the hell happened? Why is she so mad?" Julia's voice was behind me, but I didn't turn around, instead resting my forehead against the front door. I took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself down, not wanting to cry.

"Garrison?" A soft touch on my shoulder reminded me that someone else was in the room with me. I sighed, swiping at an errant tear that had managed to escape, then turned to face my concerned friend, would-be lover.

"She doesn't approve of my lifestyle," I said simply. Julia's eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh." Pause. "That must be hard."

"Yeah. Something like that." I turned, heading back into the kitchen, calling over my shoulder. "Come on, eggs are burning."

*  *  *

I kept up the ruse, smiled and laughed as the girls ate their breakfast. They were so excited and happy to see us, and I didn't want to worry Parker, or raise her suspicions that anything was wrong.

Keller had been gone about two hours when the phone rang. My heart fell, and Julia and I exchanged a look. She could see it in my eyes, and squeezed my hand before I went to my bedroom to pick up in there.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, is this Garrison Davies?" A man's voice said. I swallowed, expecting the worst.

"Yes. This is she."

"Hi. Sorry to bother you at home on a Sunday. This is Roger Spencer down at the airport. Uh, a plane took off from your hangar just a bit ago. I didn't know if you were aware of that or not. I see here that you don't have anything on the flight schedule, so-"

"Thank you, Mr. Spencer. I'll be there in a few minutes." I hung up on the poor guy in my haste. Dressing in jeans and a t-shirt, I shouted a quick goodbye, and told Julia I'd be borrowing her car, then headed out.

My hands gripped the wheel like a steel vise, anger rushing through me in waves, mixing with my fear. The potent concoction made me feel nauseous. Damn her.

I had to step on the breaks several times, seeing speed traps, and knowing that my anger was making me floor it. The last damn thing I needed was a speeding ticket.

Finally the exit for the airport came into view, and then the side road I'd take that would lead me to my hangar.

Julia's car was barely stopped before I whipped open the door, seeing that sure enough the big bay door was wide open, my Cessna gone.

"Fuck!" I looked all around the tarmac, knowing I wouldn't find her, but somehow hoping. I stormed into the office, calling up the tower.

"Fredericks,"

"What the fuck are you guys doing giving clearance to someone who isn't on the goddamn flight schedule?!" I nearly yelled into the receiver.

"Ma'am, I don't now what you're talking-"

"This is Garrison goddamn Davies. One of my goddamn planes is gone, and I'm telling you, Fredericks, if anything happens to that goddamn plane, or the goddamn pilot, I'm going to make you personally responsible!" I heard the man swallow on the other end.

"Ma'am, we're doing everything we can to locate your plane. We're not getting any response yet."

"Well you sure as fuck better let me know when you do."

"Yes, ma'am."

I slammed the phone down, an echoing ring filling the small office. Plopping down in the chair behind the desk, I covered my face with my hands, my body consumed with a myriad of emotions and fear …

… that she'd run out of gas. That plane was not difficult to fly, but for an inexperienced pilot …

… jacket that I ran my hand over. My dad's from the Korean War. I kept it hanging on the back of the office door, my link to him. He'd tell me to stay calm …

… as I paced back and forth in the hub of the hangar. I shoved my hands into the back pockets of my jeans, kicking at a pebble that had the misfortune of getting in my path. It rang off some metal object …

… far in the sky, the sun glinting off the metal. I raised my hand to shield my eyes from the late morning sun. Sure enough, it was an airplane, and looked to be the size of my Cessna.

I marched toward the tarmac where she'd finally end up after she taxied. I watched her descent carefully, so afraid. So many things could go wrong during landing, and I knew Keller didn't have near as much training on landing as she needed to try it alone, no one there to guide her, and hell, not even any radio help!

"Straighten it out, Keller," I breathed, my heart stopping as I saw the left wing dip, then as if she'd heard me, she leveled out, but was still coming down too fast. "Pull up, pull the fuck up, Keller," I wanted to cry, wanted to scream to the Heavens for her to hear me.

I held my breath, the plane only fifty feet in the air, thirty, ten, touchdown. A loud skid as the wheels touched a runway that was rolling by too quickly. The small plane looked to be out of control, skidding, moving left, then right, then center again, smoke coming from the tires as their rubber was put to the test.

Finally the plane came to a stop, and I was relieved beyond measure. Wanting to run over there and hug her, so afraid I'd been. But then, once I saw movement in the cockpit, and saw the door opening, I remembered just how pissed I actually was, and began at a dead run.

Keller stepped down from the plane, her foot hitting the tarmac just as I got to her. I grabbed her by the back of the shirt, whirling her around.

"What the fuck do you think you were doing!" She looked at me, her eyes obscured by those damn sunglasses. "You could have gotten yourself killed! This is not your plane, Keller," I pointed at the Cessna. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? You could have killed yourself, goddamn it!" She just stared at me, jaw clenching and unclenching. "I could have reported you to the police. Do you realize that? I could have reported that you stole my fucking airplane!" Still nothing. "Say something!"

My face was grabbed, a hand on either side, and I was pulled forward, stopping hard when her mouth found mine. I grabbed onto her arms, trying to wrench her off me, but she was insistent.

Giving in, my hands slid up her arms until they came around her neck. Hungry, my mouth feasting upon its last meal, little whimpers of desperation escaping me as I felt her tongue against mine. Her hands were steadfast on my face, not letting me go.

Bliss. Utter bliss. My soul had been touched, squeezed and brought to life. I was flying higher than Keller in my Cessna.

Keller. I was kissing Keller.

Realization hit me, and I felt bad, wrong, as though I were taking advantage of her. I had to stop it, but god it was so right. No! It had to stop, she doesn't approve, and I couldn't stand the thought of her hating me.

I forcefully pulled away from her, stumbling as I took a step back, away from temptation.

She was flushed, her chest heaving, lips parted as she looked at me. I was near panting, my body on vibrate.

"God, Keller, I, I'm so sorry," I gasped. "We can't do this,"

Her mouth closed, jaw clenching yet again. Without another word, she tossed me the keys to my plane, and walked away, past me, heading toward my truck.

Somewhere inside I heard the engine, the birds in the trees near-bye. I smelled the fuel exhaust from my plane, the hot rubber against the heated cement of the tarmac. The wetness of my own tears as they fell down my face.

My legs buckled, and I folded neatly, landing on my butt in the shadow of my plane. Hands resting in my lap, my head fell, tears plopping down onto my skin, giving me the chills.

My heart shattered, the connection of my soul gone, lost, drove away in my own truck.

"What have I done?"

PART 20

MY BUTT WAS beginning to burn, the ground beneath me heating up with the heat of the day, as if hell itself were bursting forth.

The roar of an airplane, flying overhead, ready to land, pulled me out of my stupor. Looking up, I followed its progress, watching the beautiful, fluid landing far off on the runway for commercial jets.

Pushing myself up off the ground, I sighed, running my fingers through my hair, and saw to the safe storage of my baby.

Once inside the hangar again, I walked toward my office, my legs feeling as though they were made of lead, each step heavier than the last, my heart feeling as though it might fall right out of my chest.

Eyes stinging, little prickles behind them as the tears threatened again. I swallowed them back. No more. I didn’t want to cry anymore.

Too bad.

Putting my hand out to the corner of my desk, holding myself up, head hanging as the sobs overtook me. Blindly I found one of the chairs that sat before my desk, plopping down heavily. All I could do was bury my face, allowing the tears to seep through my fingers and run down my hands and arms.

The shrill ring of the phone scared the hell out of me, making me snort in surprise.

“Hello?” I answered, forgetting for a moment that I was at work.

“Miss Davies?”

“Yes,” standing, I quickly wiped at my eyes, taking a deep breath.

“This is Officer Shane Down, head of security here at the airport. I wondered if you’d like to make a complaint for today’s incident?”

“Oh, uh, no. Thank you, officer. It won’t be necessary. Thanks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Alright,” I could hear the disapproval in the officer’s voice, but I didn’t care. “Good day, Miss Davies.”

“Good day to you, officer.” Setting the receiver into its cradle, I decided it was time to go home and face the music.

*  *  *

The truck was sitting in the driveway, which made me feel both a sigh of relief, as well as a stab of fear.

I sat in Julia’s car, letting the engine idle for a moment, staring up at the house, trying to decide what to do. Freud would have been able to study me for weeks as I chewed my fingernail to the quick, eyes never leaving the house.

A car horn honking got my attention. The house across the street, nothing to do with me. However, I was about to use all of Julia gas parked outside of my own damn house. Turning the ignition off, I pocketed the keys, and with a very deep breath, headed inside.

“Garrison? Is that you?” Julia burst out of the kitchen as I opened the front door. She looked worried beyond imagination, and ran to me, pulling me into a hug of a worried friend. When she pulled away, hand still on my arm, she took in my puffy eyes and tight skin. “Honey, what’s going on?”

“Why?” I pulled her keys out and handed them to her. Absently she took them, eyes never leaving mine.

“Why? Well, for starters, Keller is gone. She slammed in here, scaring the hell out of all of us, packed up her stuff and called that woman with the crazy earrings.”

“Ruby? She called Ruby? Where did Ruby take her?” Grabbing my own keys off the front table, she stopped me.

“Garrison, Ruby took her to the airport. She went back to San Diego.”

I looked at my friend, my heart falling once more.

“Where’s Parker?” I choked out.

“Upstairs, with Zoë. She is really upset, Garrison. What is this all about?” A wrinkle formed between her brown eyes, so confused. Oh, Julia, if only you knew.

“I can’t talk about it right now.” Taking the stairs two at a time, I stopped just short of Parker’s closed door. I could hear quiet crying, and Zoë’s soft, comforting voice.

“It’s okay, Parker. She’ll come back. I promise.”

I knocked lightly.

“Go away!” Parker yelled, cutting me to the bone. But we had to talk, I had to comfort her. Opening the door, I saw the two girls, Parker laying on the bed, curled up on her side and Zoë sitting next to her, looking up at me helplessly.

“Parker,”

At the sound of my voice, the kid turned over, eyes just as puffy as mine, and hard, angry.

“Go away!” she yelled, sitting up. “Go away! What did you do? She came back and you made Keller go away again!”

“Parker, we had a fight, I-“

“I hate you! Go away!” In a fit of anger, she grabbed blue bear, long since put down with a small collection of un-played with toys, and threw it at me. It fell short of reaching me, but the implication hurt far more than a direct hit ever could have.

I was stunned and hurt beyond measure. Stumbling back out into the hall, unable to see through tear-filled vision, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“God, what’s happening?” Julia whispered, steadying me.

“Here,” reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a wadded up twenty dollar bill, thrusting it into her hands. “Do something with them today. I need to go somewhere.”

“But Garrison-“

“Please, Julia?” I begged, looking into her eyes. “Please, just do this. Get some ice cream, go to the movies, I don’t care. Just take care of Parker.”

Without another word, I hurried down the stairs, falling down the last three landing on my ankle. With a curse, I got myself up and headed out, toward my truck.

I drove, no destination in mind, just drove. I needed to be alone with my own thoughts and stupidity.

How was it, in one single action, my entire world had crumbled around my feet? Keller hated me so much, was so repulsed by what I’d done, that she left her sister behind. She wouldn’t even stay for Parker. And now the kid hated me, too.

The tears began to fall anew, making it difficult to see. Seeing a McDonald’s just up ahead, I pulled into the parking lot, far in the back, and slammed my hands against the steering wheel, yelling and screaming in the confines of the cab of my truck, the cab sucking in all my cries, making them sound empty.

Finally opening my eyes, I saw a group of people standing in the parking lot between two cars, laughing and talking to each other. They were all dressed up, women in dresses, men in suits or nice jackets and shirts. Nice church-going folk. I smirked to myself. Suckers. God doesn’t hear your prayers. Why try?

What now? How was I supposed to fix this? What had happened? I took myself back in time, replaying all the events of the day, starting with Keller and I in the kitchen before her run.

She’d been fine, her normal, sarcastic non-morning person self. She left, Julia came over, and we’d made breakfast and danced. Then we’d kissed.

Why had I done that? The girls were in the house, Keller was due back anytime from her run, I assumed. I wasn’t sure how long she would be gone, but when Julia had kissed me, I couldn’t resist, hadn’t wanted to. I wanted her kiss, wanted her touch.

Had I wanted to get caught?

Ridiculous. Keller was untouchable to me, and I knew that. I was not manipulative like that. Or was I?

“No.” I shook my head, not willing to believe I had done it on purpose. Besides, that would mean I had been using Julia, and I knew that wasn’t the truth.

Okay, so moving on to Keller bursting in on us. She had looked as though she’d seen a ghost, her face pale before it had darkened with … anger? Was that anger of disapproval? Disgust? I tried to think back to that morning a few years ago with Celeste, when we’d been caught saying goodbye on the porch.

I knew then that Keller had been disgusted and shocked, and it had been obvious. Had it been the same earlier today?

No. She had been angry, alright, but somehow I couldn’t think that it had been out of disapproval.

“Oh my god,” my hand came up to cover my mouth. “It can’t be.” Was it possible that Keller had been jealous? Jealous of Julia and I kissing?

Then Keller and I had kissed. Standing there on the tarmac, beside my plane, we’d kissed. I had kissed her.

Closing my eyes, I recounted the kiss, the moments before it. The moments when Keller had grabbed my face, had brought me to her. She had kissed me.

“I’m so confused.”

Why had she done that? What had been her purpose? And that hadn’t been some innocent kiss between friends. No, that had been a kiss with fire and purpose behind it. A claim.

“Fuck.” Resting my head against the cool glass of the driver’s side window, I shielded my eyes with my hand, trying to stomach everything. Why had she left? She was running, but from what? I think I definitely had the idea that she didn’t like Julia and I in a relationship, but couldn’t understand why.

I went into Mickey D’s and got me a coffee and apple pie. Taking it all back to my truck, I started her up and headed out again.

The town was starting to wake up, a lazy, hot Sunday, traffic running slow. I went along with the flow, taking everything in, even though I wasn’t fully there. My mind was split, partially on driving and the world around me, and partially on that kiss.

Oh, that kiss.

If I were able to separate myself, if just for a moment, from the ramifications of it all, and concentrated just on the feelings, sensations, emotions ….

The softness of Keller’s lips, the way her skin felt against my face, her fingers, the palms of her hands, so soft, but steely in their hold. God, she had a hold on me.

The taste of her mouth, that full bottom lip against mine, the passion that she exuded. Where did she learn to kiss that way? For a moment, a very brief, immature moment, I felt jealousy, wondering if she’d been dating in San Diego. Somehow I knew that wasn’t the case, and the alternative made me feel queasy. Did Al like to kiss?

Totally shaking that thought out of my head, I turned back to thinking about the softness of Keller’s lips. What was it with her?

I sighed, munching on my breakfast, knowing that the possibility of finding out the answers to these questions was probably nil.

And what about Parker? This thought brought another sigh out. God, what must that poor kid think? Abandoned again? I had run Keller out? Fuck.

I drove to Woodman Park, sitting at the edge of the very fountain where Julia and I had played, and kissed for the first time, just over a week ago.

Untucking the ends of the red box the apple pie came in, I flattened the thing out, then folded it as many times as I could, using my entire body weight into the palm of my hand to make it even flatter.

There was movement out of the corner of my eye, and looking up, I saw a squirrel, sitting up on his haunches, looking at me.

“Hey, little fella,” I had nothing to feed him, but he looked quite well fed without any help from me, so I had to content myself with just grinning at him. His beady eyes looked at me, tiny hands fidgeting with something he found in the grass, holding it to his mouth where he began to nibble it.

A dog barked off in the distance, someone walking two of them. The squirrel looked in that direction, creepy little jerky movements, then he scuttled away, climbing into a tree and disappeared. Little furry Tarzan.

People came and went, cars drove by, the sun began to die, the world lived on. I sighed, picking myself up from the grass where I’d planted myself a couple hours ago. Wiping my hands over my butt to rid it of any loose grass or bugs, I headed toward the truck, keys jangling from my fingers.

I heard a beep, and looked up to the sun visor, where my cell phone was clipped. The red light on the side was blinking, telling me I had a message.

Or seven. I almost held my breath as I listened to my voice mail, unable to help being hopeful.

“Hey, Garrison. Um, it’s Julia. Are you okay? What’s going on?” sigh “Well, I’m here whenever you want to talk. Parker’s okay. So, uh, guess I’ll talk to you later.”

Erase

“Okay, kid. I just took a very upset Keller to the airport. What the fuck’s going on? She was talkative as ever, so obviously I don’t have a damn clue what’s going on. Call me.”

Erase

“Hi, Garrison. I don’t know if you remember me. We met a few months ago at Belch’s. Want to get together, sexy? If so, call me. I gave you my number. Bye.”

Who the fuck was that? Erase

Click

Erase

“Okay, this ignoring me shit isn’t going to fly, Monk. Call me!”

Ruby was the most impatient woman I knew. Erase

Click

I looked at the number for the second hang up message, and like the first, it said unavailable. A pay phone perhaps? Stop it, Garrison! Don’t give yourself false hope. Grrr.

Erase

“Okay, I’m home now, so you should have your skinny little ass here, too, telling me what the hell is going on. Garrison, what happened between you two? I mean, I was in my pilates class when Keller called me, not that I mind, I mean shit, pilates are damn hard, ya know? Anyway, call me and I’ll make you dinner.”

Chuckling, I erased Ruby’s message and started up the truck, backing out of my parking space as I dialed her number.

“This better be good. That hunk, Stone Phillips is on the TV.”

“Stone Phillips?” I wrinkled my nose. “I thought you had better taste than that, Ruby.”

“Garrison? Where the fuck you been? I’ve been trying to get hold of you all damn day.”

“I know. Sorry. I needed some time to myself.” I explained, merging into traffic.

“Why? What’s going on? I called your place and that scrap of a friend of yours said you’d given her some green, then ran out. What gives? She’s worried sick. I’m worried sick. I think Keller is just, well, sick.”

“I’m coming over. I need to talk to you.”

“Bet your cute little ass you do! I’ll make you dinner.”

“Really, Ruby, I’m not-“ I looked at the phone, seeing that she had indeed hung on me. Shaking my head, I snapped the phone closed and tossed it to the seat beside me.

Ruby’s car, a huge old, but well kept, Chrysler, sat in the driveway, and I parked next to it, putting my truck in gear and unbuckling my seatbelt.

“Hey, kid! Come in, come in,” the older woman said, holding the screen door open, smells of spaghetti wafting out through the night. It smelled wonderful, her award-winning garlic bread sitting in a pain on top of the stove, cooling.

Ruby’s house was a contradiction of her personality. It was very neat, everything having a place, though it was obvious the house was lived in. It was filled with antiques, beautifully, and lovingly cared for, looking pristine yet with an air of history surrounding them.

I followed the billowing kimono Ruby wore, the silky material fluttering in the breeze her steps created.

“Sit,” she ordered, back to me as she began to dish up food. Setting a heaping plate in front of me, I opened my mouth to protest, but she held a hand up. “You’re too skinny, so shut up and eat.”

Obediently, I peppered parmesan cheese over my meal.

“Jesus! It looks like it snowed on top of Mount Prego,” Ruby grinned as she sat across from me. I glared at her beneath my bangs.

“Bite me.” She laughed, preparing her own food.

“So what happened?” she asked, twirling the spaghetti around her fork.

“Right to the point, as usual,” I muttered, taking a bite of my garlic toast. “Yes, I know, quickest wee to get there,” I said before she even had a chance.

“The kid has a learning curve.” She put the wad of pasta into a red-lined mouth, eyes closing in pleasure at the burst of tastes in her mouth.

“Where to begin.” I put my hand around the Coke she had waiting for me, a finger slicing through the condensation on the side of the can. “The short of it, Keller kissed me.” I glanced up when I felt eyes on me. Ruby’s dark eyes were boring into me, though there was really no expression in them- no surprise, no anger, no curiosity. Nothing.

“And that’s why she took off like a shot?” She asked, turning back to her dinner.

“Sort of.” I sighed, then went into it, telling her about Keller and the girls surprising me, and even going back to the morning Julia had answered the phone while lying in my bed, which made Ruby’s eyebrow shoot up just a notch.

“So, she calls you, hears some other chick answer your phone, which is essentially her phone, and she jumps on a plane to save the day,”

I snorted, sipping from my drink. “I don’t think it’s as dramatic as all that, Ruby.”

“No? Why not?” She leaned her cheek against her hand, looking at me, daring me to contradict her.

“Well, for one, I really don’t think Keller would have a reason to do something like that.”

“You said she sounded bothered, yes?”

“Yes. She was also bothered when Celeste and I were together.”

“True, but that was a long time ago, before our young Keller became more worldly.”

“What?” I was skeptical at best.

“Absolutely. Did you know that Keller’s roomy back in San Diego is a lezbo like you? Bet you didn’t. Young Keller was jealous, my friend. Not disgusted, as you thought. She was coming home to claim her territory!” Ruby reached across the table and knocked on my head with her fist. I pushed her hand away. “Wake up and smell the oregano, kiddo.” To emphasize her point, she stuck a meatball in her mouth.

I could only stare at her, trying to take everything in.

“Catherine is gay?”

Ruby snickered, nodding.

“She didn’t tell me that.” I looked down into my plate, rolling one of my own meatballs around with the fork.

“Don’t play with your food. So what else happened? What led to that kiss that sent Keller off in such a tizzy?”

“She saw Julia and I kissing in the kitchen this morning, when she came back from her run.” I looked up at Ruby, guilt in my eyes. Her brows shot up.

“Oh?”

“Yeppers.”

“Most interesting. So she got really jealous, huh? Took off. Then what? Where did she go? How did you find her?”

“I got a call from the airport. She took off with my damn plane!”

“Smart girl. What better way to get your attention,” she said, popping a piece of garlic bread into her mouth.

“Ruby! Did you hear me? She took my plane, and could have gotten herself killed. Don’t you think that’s just a bit drastic to get my attention?”

“Not really.”

Ruby was so damn relaxed, it was driving me crazy! “Why not?”

“Because that’s your baby, and she knows it. How else was she to get you racing over to her? To get you to find her?” Ruby reached across the table and stabbed one of my meatballs with her fork, sticking it on her own plate where she began to cut it into four pieces.

“You’re crazy.”

“Some have said.” She ate one piece, closing her eyes. “Damn, I’m a good cook.”

“Ruby, she was not trying to send out a smoke signal for me.” I started as Ruby’s eyes popped open, and her fist hit the table with a resounding thud.

“How did she kiss you, Garrison? Was it a , ‘gosh, I’m glad you found me, Garrison, here’s a peck for you,’?”

“No-“

“Was it a friendly, I’ve missed you sort of kiss?”

“No, I-“

“Than what the hell was it?” she leaned forward, eyes boring into mine. She was getting frustrated.

I looked down at my plate, feeling my skin begin to heat up at the memory. “It was a wonderful kiss,” I said, my voice quite. “It was passionate, her telling me who was in control, kind of kiss.” I met her eyes.

“I rest my case.” She sat back, dropping her fork into her empty plate. “Honey, don’t you get it? She was trying to tell you something. You need to listen with this thing,” she poked herself in the chest, over her heart. “not this,” she reached across the table and poked me in the head again.

“Damn it, knock it off. I think you just want an excuse to poke me.” I rubbed my head where it still hurt from the first damn time.

“Nah, that’s Keller’s job,” her eyes sparkled.

“Ruby!”

She threw her head back, a bark of laughter filling the room. Even I had to grin at her antics. The woman really needed to get laid.

“Okay, okay.” She sobered, wiping at her eyes as she calmed herself down. “So what happened next? Did you guys confess undying love to each other? What happened to make her run so fast and so far?”

“I stopped the kiss, pushed her away. I told her I couldn’t do it.”

“You what!?” I covered my head, expecting another poke.

“Well what the hell was I supposed to do, Ruby? She has made it clear over the years that she doesn’t approve or agree with my lifestyle. I mean, shit, she accused me of being a molester!”

“Good point.” She sipped from her iced tea.

“Besides,” I wadded up my napkin and tossed it in frustration. “I don’t want her to think that I’m no better than that son of a bitch, Al Mitchum.”

“Honey,” Ruby grabbed my hand, running her calloused thumb across the back of my hand, looking at me with understanding and kindness. “Think about it this way. Just how many people do you really think she’s kissed? Like, kissed because she wanted to, and wasn’t forced upon her?”

“I know-“

“No, I don’t think you do. My guess would be,” she held up a finger. “One. You.”

“So you think I’ve made a huge mistake?”

“I think everything happens in its own, right time, Monk.” She stood, beginning to gather plates. I tried to help, but got a swat to my butt for my trouble. “Take a load off. You’ve had one hell of a day.”

Sitting back in my chair, I grabbed my Coke, sipping from it as my mind was a million miles away. Finally I made it back to Ruby’s kitchen. “Ruby,” I asked quietly, studying the large, white lettering on the can. “Did she say anything? Anything at all?”

“Nope,” Ruby began to run a sink full of hot, soapy water, and systematically putting piles of dishes in it. “Only that she had to get back to base. I had the feeling that asking questions would be pretty moot. I mean, shit, I was married to the strong, silent type. Don’t get you anywhere.”

“How was she?”

“I’m not going to lie to ya, Monk. She was pretty shaken. Upset, whatever you want to call it. It was pretty damn obvious that something had rocked her world. What the hell kind of kisser are you, anyway?” She looked at me over her shoulder as she pulled on yellow, rubber dish gloves. I blushed, looking down. She chuckled.

“So what do I do now?” It was mainly a question to myself, but it was too good for Ruby to pass up.

“You got a plane, don’t you?”

I looked up at her, meeting mischievous brown eyes.

“Yeah,”

‘Yeah, so …. Jesus, girl! Do I gotta spell everything out for you? You get in your airplane and fly to San Diego! Grab some roses and sweep her off her damn feet.” She grinned, hands on hips, as if she’d just had the most brilliant idea in the history of all brilliant ideas.

“Uh, yeah, no.”

“Why not?” Her face fell, brows knitting together.

“Ruby, this isn’t one of your romance novels,” I indicated the Amanda Quick novel that rested at the end of the counter next to the Mr. Coffee. “This is real life, and I have responsibilities. For starters, who’d take care of Parker?”

“See if your friend, Julia would take her. You said the kid and Julia’s daughter get on well, right?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Uh, excuse me, Julia, I know we’re dating and everything, but can you watch Parker while I go confess my undying love to another woman? Try again. Besides, I also have a business to run. It’s no good.”

She sighed, turning back to her dishes. “Have you tried calling her?”

“No. I was out all day licking my wounds.” Playing with the salt shaker, I accidentally dumped it. “Shit.”

“You going to?”

“I don’t know if I should. Hell, I don’t think she’d take my calls. And on top of all this, Parker hates me.”

“What? No way, not a chance.” There was a very wet towel suddenly on top of my head. “Clean up your mess.”

I growled, then did just that.

“That kid couldn’t hate you, and there’s nothing you can say to make me think otherwise.”

“How about the fact that she told me she did?” I shook the rag off in the trash, the millions of salt granules sounding like rain against a tin roof, on the plastic liner.

“What kid do you know that hasn’t said that?”

“I never did.”

“Yeah, well you were a momma’s girl.”

I chuckled, tossing the rag to the counter, then leaned against it, watching Ruby at work.

“Ask your friend how many times she’s heard it from her daughter. Parker is confused.”

“She said I made Keller leave.”

“And I’m sure she feels that way.” Ruby arranged all the washed glasses neatly on the towel she was using as a drying rack, then went back to tackle our plates.

“So what do I do?”

“Hell if I know. I don’t have any kids.” She winked at me, then butted me with her hip. “Talk to her. I know you can’t exactly explain the situation, but do the best you can. You’re a great mom, Garrison. Your mom would be so proud of you. That little girl adores you. Trust me, you’ll run into bigger tragedies than this before it’s all said and done.”

*  *  *

The door was opened, the dome light on, but still I sat behind the wheel, hands gripping it, palms sweaty. Since when am I afraid of a ten year old?

Tonight, I guess.

All the lights were on downstairs, and Julia’s car was parked at the curb, where I’d left it that morning. I’d called to let her know I was okay, and I was on my way home.

Blowing out a breath, I climbed out of the truck, slamming the door closed behind me, and headed up the walk toward the front door.

The house was basically quiet, as it was late on Sunday night, almost eleven. The girls were probably long asleep. I felt horrible for ditching Julia the entire day. I just hoped she would understand. Understand what? I couldn’t very well tell her what had happened.

Shit.

Feeling like a child, I looked both ways from around the door as I opened it, making sure I wasn’t going to be met by a firing squad. Nothing but the soft murmur of the television.

Tossing my keys and cell phone to the table by the door, I stepped further in, looking into the living room. The room looked empty, but then I saw Julia asleep on the couch.

My mind whirred as I walked over to her, trying to think of what I’d say to the inevitable questions. Nothing came to mind. I was so exhausted- mentally, physically, emotionally. My heart hurt, and it was starting to make my head hurt.

Sitting on the edge of the coffee table, I ran a hand up and down Julia’s arm, which had snuck out of the thin blanket that covered her. Sleepy brown eyes opened, and at recognition, she sat up, wrapping her arms around my neck. She was so warm, and smelled so good.

I rested my head on her shoulder, allowing myself to be swallowed up in her affection. She sighed, and I responded in kind.

“You okay?” she asked gently, and I nodded. “You look so tired.” She gently pulled away, looking into my eyes, a hand resting against my cheek.

“Exhausted.”

“Come on.” Standing, she grabbed my hand, shut the TV off with the remote, then lead me toward the stairs, clicking lights off as we went. Up the stairs, and toward my room. I tugged on her hand.

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

Julia nodded in understanding, and went ahead, Tut running to get to the bedroom before this ‘intruder’.

Wiping my hand across my burning eyes, I headed toward Parker’s room. The door was closed, but there was only silence behind it, so I knew she and Zoë were fast asleep. Opening it just enough to get my body through, I waited a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, then made my way over to the bed.

The girls were fast asleep, Zoë hanging half off her side of the bed, and Parker on her back, head lulled to the side, facing the side of the bed. That’s where I went, sitting gently next to her.

Her blonde curls were spread across the pillow, a single curly lock snaking across her forehead.

With a smile, I brought my hand up, brushing it aside. The girl was always complaining about how out of control her hair was. I thought it was beautiful, and original, just like her.

Blue eyes opened, turned gray in the moonlight. She looked up at me, and I down at her, that soft smile still on my lips, hand coming to rest just off to the side of her head, resting on a carpet of soft hair.

Her eyes were so revealing, unlike those of her sister. At first they flashed with the confusion of being awakened in the middle of the night, and for just a split second there was fear. When she realized who it was, that fear turned to anger, and now they were calm.

She didn’t smile back at me as she usually would, but it was almost as if there was relief there. Maybe she was relieved I had come back, and not disappeared, too? I knew my Parker, and knew under all her anger today, she’d been afraid that that very thing may happen. Not a chance.

I leaned down, touching my lips to her forehead, lingering there for a moment, trying to convey just how much I loved her, and would never leave her, in that soft kiss.

As I slowly sat back up, I saw her eyes opening up again. Brushing my hand gently to her cheek and resting it there, I stood, bringing the sheet that covered her to just under her burgeoning breasts, and tucked it up further, under her arms. With a soft sigh, she closed her eyes again, and I left the room, closing the door behind me.

PART 21

CONFUSED, I JERKED UP, hearing a thump. Looking over the side of the bed, I saw Tut glaring up at me.

"Mm, shit. Sorry, boy." Now I had to look around to see what had awakened me in the first place. Julia leaned against the closed bedroom door, tight tank heaving with her heavy breathing and white, bikini underwear a contrast to tanned skin. She was grinning.

"What, what happened? What's wrong?" I felt drugged, groggy and disoriented.

"I think I just scared the hell out of Parker," she hissed.

"What? Why?" That got my attention.

"I heard Roy scratching at the girls' door, so I went to let him out cause I figured he had to go to the bathroom. So, I let him out, then when I was coming back up the stairs, there was Parker, on her way to the bathroom herself. She took one look at me, in next to nothing! Her eyes got as big as saucers."

She hurried over to the bed, flopping down onto her stomach, burying her face in the pillow, her body shaking with laughter. My exhausted mind still wasn't getting it. Finally she looked up at me.

"Oh my god, I felt like that damn scene in that movie with Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep, where the kid gets up in the middle of the night to pee, and runs smack into a naked Jo Beth Williams."

"'Kramer Vs. Kramer'," I helpfully supplied.

"Yeah! That's it." She laughed some more, and the light started to dawn on Marble Head, and I, too started to laugh. Though I think for me it was more release from yesterday than the happenings of the morning.

"Oh, shit," I said, as I began to wind down, rolling onto my back, covering my eyes with my forearm. "What did she do?" I glanced over at her, and she peeked a brown eye at me.

"She hurried into the bathroom as if her tail were on fire." She also rolled over to her back. "Do you think I did permanent damage?" She was only half joking with that question.

"I don't think so. But then again," I rolled over to my side, back to Julia as I cuddled Tut, who'd jumped back onto the bed, to my front. "I don't seem to know shit about shit, these days." Tut groaned, turning to his back, all fours in the air, waiting for his tummy to be rubbed. His head cocked to the side, he looked up at me with large, brown eyes, ears flopping out like Parker's hair the night before.

Smiling, I rubbed his belly and chest, his back leg kicking rhythmically in pure enjoyment.

There was movement behind me, then an arm snaked around my waist, a warm body pressing against me. Julia rested her chin on my shoulder, watching me pet my dog. I held my breath, knowing what was coming. She gave me a reprieve last night, which I was grateful, but I knew I owed her some answers.

"What happened, Garrison?" Her voice was quiet, gentle, non-demanding. I sighed. How much to tell her? I think Julia deserved the full truth, but somehow, some part of me, wanted to keep it 'within the family'. I know that sounded horrible and selfish, and just outright bitchy, as Julia and Zoë had become part of the family. Maybe I didn't want to hurt her? Didn't want to hurt Keller? Didn't want to hurt myself.

I'm such a chicken shit.

"A few years ago I was seeing this woman, Celeste, she lives up in New York. She and I were basically fuck buddies. When I'd fly up there, I'd see her, you know?" I felt a nod. "So one year, at Christmas, she was down in the area visiting family, and decided to drop by. She spent the night, and the next morning, as we were saying goodbye on the front porch, Keller saw."

"Okay."

"Well, at that time Keller didn't know I was gay. It had just never come up, I guess, and didn't really think it would be an issue. She was terrified at that point that I was no better than her father, and said as much."

"Oh, Garrison," I could hear the pained understanding in her voice.

"We got through it. Eventually. She understood, understands, I'm no threat to either her or Parker. Well, I've been single for a long time now,"

"What happened with Celeste?"

"Uh," I hid a smile at that, grinning instead at Tot's antics. Little pleasure hound. "We both just decided that it wasn't working out the way it was, and neither of us had any intention of moving our lives."

"Oh."

"So, yesterday morning, when Keller saw us in the kitchen, she freaked out."

You know, Monk, all you're doing at this point is making Keller look really bad.

"Ah, fuck." I gently pushed Julia away, and turned over, facing her. "She freaked out this time, though, cause she was jealous." I looked into Julia's eyes, watching for realization to dawn. And it did.

"Wait, jealous," she tasted the word, that little wrinkle forming between her eyes as she mulled this over. "Of what?" her eyes met mine, silently asking for more explanation.

"Jealous of you. She was jealous that I was kissing you."

"As in, she wanted to be kissing you?" Total realization. I nodded.

"Something like that."

"But, I thought she was not a fan of the gay lifestyle,"

"Trust me, that's what I thought, too. I had no idea. I thought that was why she took off. I thought history was repeating itself."

"Wow." She turned to her back, staring up at the ceiling. I was staring at her profile, trying to figure out what was going through her head. She turned to look at me. "And how do you feel about her?"

My heart froze. I just stared at her, trying to formulate an answer that wouldn't get me into trouble, or betray my feelings for Keller. See, told you I was a chicken shit.

The longer I waited, however, the more Julia was figuring out.

"I see." She sat up, head hanging.

"Julia, it doesn't matter. However I've felt about Keller just doesn't matter. I've been hiding something that I could never have-"

"But she told you yesterday how she feels, Garrison." Brown eyes looked at me, tinged with anger.

"But how am I supposed to know if she really feels that way, or if it was just a matter of feeling like her territory was being encroached upon?" I sat up, too, then got out of bed altogether. I needed pacing room. "I mean, you figure, she's had me all to herself for the past three plus years. Now suddenly, here you are."

I stopped pacing, standing at the foot of the bed looking at her.

"I'm not so sure if it's actually jealousy because she wants me for herself that way, or if she just wants me for herself." I could tell Julia was confused. "Okay," sitting on the end of the bed, I looked at her. "This way, when I wasn't dating, I could just pick up, go wherever, do whatever, and no worries. Pack up Parker, we were good to go. It was just the three of us in our happy little family. If I'm with someone, that goes bye-bye, in her mind at least."

I stopped, realizing that I was trying to justify this entire thing to myself, and not necessarily just convince Julia. I stood again, walking over to the window.

I don't know if Julia could tell there was something amiss, but she said, "Why did Keller run out of here yesterday, flying all the way back to San Diego three days early?"

I sighed, my shoulders slumping with the exhale. "I told her I couldn't do it."

"Do what?"

"Be with her that way, I guess." I noticed Joe Mills backing his company van out of the garage- MILLS TILE AND PLUMBING That reminded me that it was, in fact, Monday morning. I turned to her, running a hand through my hair. "Listen, I need to get to work."

"Oh, of course." She stood, stretching, then gathered up all her discarded clothing from yesterday, made her way into the bathroom, softly closing the door behind her.

"Come on, Tut." I opened my bedroom door, the dog jumping up and off the bed, shaking his entire body as he went, before dashing down the stairs. When that boy has to pee, he has to pee.

The girls were already downstairs, attacking the cereal cabinet.

"Morning." I said, smiling at them both. Zoë smiled back.

"Hi, Garrison. You're out of Coca Puffs."

"Oh, a tragedy in our time." I put my hand to my heart, making her giggle. Parker said nothing, turning back to the cabinet as I unlocked the back door.

"Hey, girls," Julia walked into the kitchen, stealing the box of Trix from her daughter's hand.

"Hey!"

"Is for horses." Julia stuck her tongue out, grabbing a handful from the box before handing it back with a kiss to her daughter's forehead. "You need to hurry and eat, honey. Garrison and Parker need to get going."

"I'm going with you," Parker said, grabbing some spoons from the drawer, and putting them on the table. I looked at her, seeing that she meant Julia, who met my gaze for a moment.

"Parker, you were going to go with me on my flight to Martha's Vineyard today, remember."

"I don't want to. I'm going with Zoë and Julia." The kid refused to look at me, instead concentrating on the pouring of cereal into her bowl.

I was left speechless, and deeply hurt. "Oh. Uh, maybe you should make sure that's okay with Julia first." I turned, busying myself with putting slices of bread into the toaster so the kid wouldn't see my hurt.

"Garrison," Julia stepped up next to me, a hand on my shoulder, her voice just loud enough for me to hear. "I can say no, say that Zoë and I have to do something,"

"No," I shook my head, meeting her concerned gaze. "I'm not going to force her to be with me if she doesn't want to be." I shrugged. "She hates me, why would I think she actually wanted to spend the day with me?"

"Oh, honey. I doubt she meant that. She's a kid, and kids are very spontaneous with the things they say, trust me."

I nodded, knowing she was right, but it didn't make it hurt any the less. "If you can, and want to take her with you today, you're welcome to. However, if you are busy, and can't do feel you're obligated to." Julia nodded, patting my shoulder, then turned back to the girls who looked at her anxiously.

"You're welcome to come home with us, Parker, but," she waggled a finger at both girls. "Zoë is doing her chores today, so if you come, you get to help. Got me?"

"Aw, man!" Zoë complained, while Parker jumped at the opportunity.

"It'll be fun." She told her friend, blue eyes blazing with possibility. Realizing this, Zoë brightened considerably. If it weren't such a sucky situation, I would have thought it amusing.

Sighing, I turned back to my toast as it popped up from the toaster.

*  *  *

I never had any idea just how difficult it would be to live with a kid who virtually ignored you. If I asked Parker to do something, she'd do it, but conversation was nil.

One night I heard her crying, and went upstairs to see what the problem was. She was tucked into the corner of the hallway, where she used to play with her dolls as a small child. The phone was cradled between her shoulder and cheek.

"I know, but I want you to come back." She sniffled, nodding, saying "Uh huh, But I'm mad. She made you go away." She paused, listening.

I felt like an ass intruding and eavesdropping, but I felt I had a right to know what the hell was going on, and how I could fix this. Plus, I prayed that Keller, whom she was obviously talking to, could talk some damn sense into her.

"Okay. I'll try. Yeah."

As the conversation moved on to what Parker had done in school, I quietly headed back down the stairs, wincing every time the tiniest little creak announced my descent. The kid must not have noticed, cause I heard her laughing a few moments later. Music to my ears.

I went back to my cave, otherwise known as the living room, curled up on the couch and continued watching TV.

*  *  *

Two nights later I was awakened to a scream that made my blood run cold.

My feet hit the floor with enough force to almost put me on my face, but I managed to keep my balance as I ran, throwing my bedroom door open, almost bowling Parker over.

Getting my bearings, and realizing the kid was standing there, crying, holding something in her hands.

"What's the matter? Are you okay? What is it?" I looked around her, trying to see if there was someone in the house, if she had been attacked, if there was a fire-

"I started."

My eyes shot to Parker again, utterly confused.

"What?"

In answer, she held up her underwear.

"Oh!"

Tears began to fall again.

"Okay, okay, honey. Come on." I took her by the hand and led her into my bedroom, to the bathroom. "I want you to jump into the shower, clean yourself up, and I'm gong to put these in some water with baking soda, okay?" The kid nodded dumbly. I closed the door behind me as I left, hearing the water start.

"Shit!' I grabbed the cordless as I ran out of my bedroom, dialing as I went. After four rings, it was finally picked up. "Julia? I'm so sorry to call at," glancing at the clock on the microwave, "four in the morning."

"It's okay. What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"Parker started her period. She's really upset. Isn't she a little young for this?" I held the phone between shoulder and cheek as I dug around in the fridge for baking soda, then plugged one side of the sink, and filling it with cold water, shaking in the heavy, white powder.

"No, not really. Younger than most, maybe, but,"

"Julia, she's ten years old! I was almost eleven and a half." I dropped the soiled underwear into the mix, pushing them down so they wouldn't float.

"She'll be eleven in January. I figured it was coming. I've noticed she's been starting to get her boobies for a few months now. That's usually a sure sign."

"Oh," I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "She's just a kid, Julia. She shouldn't have to deal with this shit, yet. She'll have to worry about it for the next forty years as it is!"

"I know, honey. I know. She's growing up." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Yeah, well I don't like it, and am still in denial. Maybe I'll take her to the doctor tomorrow and make sure she's okay, and didn't actually cut herself or something-"

"Garrison, that rive in Egypt is a long way away."

"Yeah, yeah." The water cut off. "Okay, I have to go. Thanks, and I'll talk to you later."

"Good luck."

Running back upstairs, stopping only long enough to grab a bottle Midol, I knocked softly on the bathroom door.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I need clothes."

"Okay. Be right back." I hurried to her bedroom and dug around till I found her a clean pair of underwear and shorts and t-shirt. I knocked again. "Honey, I need to come in to show you what to do."

There was a little sniffle, but then a very small, "Kay."

I opened the door, and wanted to run to her and hug her. The kid stood in the tub, towel wrapped around herself, knees pressed together, looking as though she were tiring to keep herself from peeing where she stood. She must have seen my confusion.

"I don't want to drip," she said miserably, looking like a lost little puppy dog.

"Oh, sweetie, don't worry about that." After what Julia had said, I looked at the kid in a new light. She was certainly and obviously a kid, her body tall, but lanky, skinny. Even so, looking at her now, I realized it was a matter of time and our little Parker would look like a woman. She was going to be an early bloomer.

Oh, boy.

"Here, sweetie." I walked over to her and handed her the t-shirt, then turned away so she could put it on. I grabbed a pad from my stash under the bathroom cabinet, and unwrapped it, showing her how it worked. "Now, if you want later, you can try a tampon. For now I think it best if you use pads, okay?" She nodded

I showed her how to put the pad in the panties, using her very own underwear, what to do with it after it was used, how often to change it, and then the important part- I gave her two Midol, and got her settled in my bed.

The heating pad was buried in the hall closet, but I managed to find it, and plugged it in, getting it settled over Parker's mid-section.

"How's that, sweetie? Are you doing okay? Need anything?"

The kid shook her head, but patted the bed next to her. I gladly obliged.

"Can I call Keller and tell her?" She asked, shining hopeful blue eyes up at me. Glancing at the clock, I looked back to my charge.

"Tell you what, honey, it's only just after two in the morning for her. Why don't you wait until it gets a little later, okay?" Parker nodded, then cuddled up next to me. I wrapped myself around her, mindful of her sensitive nether regions and cramped belly, and we fell asleep.

*  *  *

"Garrison! Keller wants to talk to you!"

I ran at nearly full force from the backyard where I was trying to fix the sprinkler system, making myself slow as I entered the house, where Parker was arranged on the couch, the heating pad her best friend.

Out of breath, I took several deep ones, trying to calm myself. I took the phone from the kid, and said as casually as I could,

"Hi Keller, how are you, I hope everything is going good all the way over there in California, it's okay here."

There was a pause, and then, "Did you breathe yet?"

Slapping my forehead with my hand, I ignored Parker's giggles.

"How is Parker doing? Like, how is she doing really?" Keller's voice was soft and as velvety s ever, but distant. It hurt to know I'd put it there.

"She's doing good. I've got her laying on the couch full of Midol. The heating pad has become her new best friend."

"I bet, so. If she's anything like me, she'll need it."

"Yeah." I headed out of the living room, toward the front porch for a little privacy. "Listen, Keller, we need to talk."

"Is there anything wrong with Parker, Ruby or Jerome?" Keller asked, the softness leaving her voice.

"Uh, no-"

"Do you have any sort of terminal disease?"

"No," my brows drew in confusion.

"Then we don't have anything to talk about." There was a finality in her words and voice that shook me to the core, sparking sadness and anger.

"Says you,"

"Yes. Says me."

"We can't leave it this way, Keller." I closed the door behind me, not wanting Parker to hear any of this. "Don't you think we owe ourselves more than that? Shit, we owe Parker more than that."

"I made a mistake, Garrison. Deal with it. I am. I have to go. If there's anything I can do for Parker, let me know. I'll get in touch with her soon." Dead air time, neither of us saying anything. "Goodbye, Garrison."

"Don't end it this way, Keller, please."

"Say goodbye. I don't want to hang up on you," I sensed something in that last statement, not only the hard-edge that had littered the entire conversation, but a sadness, too. I sighed, knowing I wouldn't win this round. Maybe it was too soon.

"Goodbye, Keller."

It didn't surprise me when the line went dead, even if it broke my heart all over again.

*  *  *

That day I took Parker to get her first bra. A training bra, but a bra all the same. It made me realize just how fast time goes by, and it will march right over your soul.

And that's what happened over the next year and a half. It was a time of change and growth, not just physically for Parker and Zoë, but for Julia and I as well.

Over the next few months, after what I had come to call the 'Hangar Incident,' she kept her distance from me off and on, explaining to me that she needed to figure some things out. I let it go, trying to be as understanding as possible. Things were changing between us, for the good and the bad.

When she came over with Zoë, her affection was becoming more and more that of a very close friend, and less of a lover. Her kisses found themselves on my cheek, and not on my lips. If she ever stayed over, which was rare, she insisted on sleeping on the couch, no longer sharing a bed with me.

At first it hurt, rejection from all sides, but then I began to understand what she was doing, and respected and loved her for it. Our friendship was very important to both of us, and she wanted to keep it. I think somewhere deep inside a place she'd never tell me about, Julia knew my feelings for Keller ran deep, and she knew she didn't stand a chance.

Keller.

That was another painful topic. True to her word, she called Parker often, never asking to talk to me. If I happened to have the misfortune of answering the phone, she'd be pleasant and cordial, but quickly ask for her sister.

It hurt each and every time, and I felt that the damage was irreparable. So, instead of making things even harder on me by begging, I became resigned to it, and dutifully sent Parker on her way during Spring Break, and for a few weeks each summer.

The kid would come back tanned and filled with stories of learning to surf, swimming in the Pacific, and how cool her older sister was.

Parker.

That topic could put a smile on my face any time. She was now taller than I am, which let me tell you, that's one hell of a blow to the ego She turned twelve in January, and was in the sixth grade, no longer going to elementary school. She and Zoë were even closer, in the same middle school, and Zoë had become a fixture to our house, often eating dinner at our place when her mom had night classes to teach. I thought the kid was great, and a wonderful influence and friend for Parker.

There were some days that I'd look at Parker, and I'd see the woman she was becoming, and it would scare me. I was twenty-nine, on the edge of thirty, and I hated it. Keller was almost in her mid-twenties, soon to be twenty-four.

The kid was tall, I'd say pushing five feet five and a half, very proud of that half, now, definitely the giant in her class. Her hair was thick and hung down her back. Big, blue eyes looked out at the world with wonder and awe, writing down everything she saw. Her talent was immense, and she had already won several short story contests at school, and one for the local newspaper last year.

She already had the body of a young woman, very shapely and fit from hours upon hours of running and riding bikes and just being an active kid in general. She seemed happy and healthy, and she was truly the pride of my life, the one thing I felt I had done right, and could die knowing that I did my best.

She was in all intents and purposes my daughter. Even if she was becoming a teenager.

Julia and I sat on the glider, watching as our girls were laying out on towels in the front yard, sunning themselves. We agreed to it only if they wore sun screen. So, after much fuss and bravado, they agreed.

"I can't believe how tall Parker got." My friend said, lazily pushing our glider back and forth. It was late spring, the air still slightly chilly, but overall a nice day.

"I know. Do you know how much it sucks to be the oldest, yet shortest person in the damn house?" I glanced at her and she chuckled.

"Unfortunately Zoë got David's genes in that area. His entire family is short and squat." She ran her hand through her hair, the long strands flowing through her fingers.

Zoë was turning into beauty. She did get her father's stature, but her hair was the same auburn as her mother's though lighter from hours in the sun, and a bit shorter. Her eyes were alive and sparkled as if she knew something you didn't. I was a fan of the kid.

"So, uh," Julia began to twirl a lock of hair around her finger, glancing over at me every now and then. "I have a date tomorrow night."

I looked at her, my first reaction was a hint of jealousy, but it was quickly overcome by happiness.

"No kidding? That's great!" I gave her a quick hug, which she sighed into.

"I'm glad you're not mad." She said shyly. I squeezed her hand with my own, shaking my head.

"Not a chance. You deserve some hot chick to sweep you off your feet."

"Well, I don't know about that, but we'll see how it goes."

"If she hurts you, I hurt her. Got it?" I raised a brow, and she laughed, leaning into me, resting her head on my shoulder.

"I love you, Garrison."

"I love you, too."

*  *  *

Parker was bouncing around the house, floating on a cloud, singing at the top of her lungs to the radio, as we cleaned.

Holding the duster in hand, she found me where I was cleaning the kitchen, grabbing me for a duet in her housecleaning microphone.

Giving in to her antics, we linked arms, swaying to and fro as we sang along, and badly I might add, with Avril Lavigne.

The dogs barked at us as we danced all around the room, giggling as we knocked over a bucket filled with Pine-Sol, but continued dancing our little hearts out.

Pooped, I found a kitchen chair and flopped down into it, catching a grinning Parker as she sat on my lap.

It was funny, the kid was almost thirteen, a nasty teenager, yet I could still see the little kid in her, that beautiful little girl who liked to curl up with me.

As I held Parker on my lap, most of her body hanging off, her arms wrapped around my neck, head resting on my shoulder, I thought of the first night she spoke to me. The night dad had died, and I sat on the couch, curled up, and devastated, crying. That little face breaking through the storm clouds,

"Don't cry, Garrison, "

The words echoed in my head, seeming a lifetime ago. It basically was. And our lives were going to change now, I could feel it. I didn't know how, but something was coming, and it was coming in the form of Keller, discharged from the United States Air Force after four years of service, in two weeks.

Shit.

Just like before, we organized a welcome home party for our returning soldier, done with her duty. Parker insisted on taking over as the site manager, cracking us all up. She made sure that everything was perfect for her big sister.

I had mixed feelings on the entire thing. Over the past two years, since I'd seen Keller last, I had gone through so many emotions. Anger, profound sadness, and sometimes all out hopelessness. Parker, in her quiet way, had gotten me through it all.

Today, the day when Keller would be back in our lives, I felt glad to have her back, hope that we could work on some sort of relationship again, though I knew the old one we had was gone, never to be brought back.

Everyone showed up, everyone from the hangar, a few of Parker's friends, including Zoë, though Julia, probably wisely, decided to stay home, with my blessing. I understood.

Keller was driving back, as she had wanted her truck out there for transportation, so we were all waiting patiently, everything in place- all the signs and banners Parker had made on my computer, the food, the company. Now we just needed a guest of honor.

And we got one.

The familiar sounding engine pulled up into the driveway, the brake was pulled, the door opened, and an overly excited twelve and a half year old.

Parker couldn't wait, running at full speed out the door, and right into the arms of her sister.

Being the masochist I am, I watched from the window with a mix of joy at the reunion, and wistfulness, cause I knew I wouldn't get that kind of response.

Keller twirled the girl, who clung to her like a monkey, around, both grinning, eyes closed, Parker's face buried in her sister's neck.

It was an amazing thing to see them together. Parker was catching up to her older sister in height, and looks. Keller put the kid down, grinning at her, saying something that had Parker giggling. Keller looked good. She wore cargo short, her legs strong, long and tanned. Her hair was cut shorter than I'd ever seen it, just below her shoulders. She wore her customary sunglasses, and I couldn't wait for her to ditch them so I could see their amazing color again.

My Keller was all grown up. She was an absolutely amazingly stunning woman.

"What did you do?" I heard her say as they stepped up to the porch.

"Everyone is here to see you, Keller." Parker stopped them, pulling her sister into yet another hug. "Don't go away again. Please?"

"I won't sweetie, I promise." Keller said into the girl's hair, holding her tight. "Come on. Let's see who all is here, okay?" Putting the glasses on top of her dark head, she smiled at her sister. She also took my breath away. The same features, the same coloring, the same girl. But oh my god …. There was a maturity there now that hadn't been ever, an air of authority and confidence. She walked into the room, and without a word, took it over, made it her own.

Breathing again, I realized those blue eyes were on me.

"Welcome home, Keller," my voice was quite. As I looked at her, my eyes drifted to her mouth, and once again I remembered the softness, the wonder that was Keller's kiss.

"Thank you," she said, using those very lips to form the words. I looked into her eyes, wishing so badly that I could go back in time, do things differently, react differently, and let her know just how in love with her I really was, and how much I regret pushing her away two years ago.

The party engulfed our returning hero, Jerome beside himself at another military kin, his arm slung around her shoulder, swapping stories and hard-ass superiors.

I busied myself making sure everyone had something to eat, something to drink, was having a good time. The consummate party host, which I'd never been in my life. My thoughts always were, if you're hungry, eat, thirsty, get something to drink. Bored, leave.

Not today. Idle hands are the work of the devil, mom used to say. And in my case, all too true. I knew Keller could kick my ass with a single look, so I stayed clear.

As the day went on, people stayed on. I was glad, actually. That was I didn't have to be alone with her.

"How you holdin' together, kiddo?" Ruby asked, coming into the kitchen with three mugs, making her way to the coffee maker to fill them all up. I shrugged, rinsing and loading dishes into the washer.

"Good. It's a nice party."

"Sure is. Wish you were here," she smiled, that red slash mouth of hers creepy in a clown, old lady sort of way.

"What are you talking about? I'm right here-"

"Yeah, nice try, honey. You've been hiding this entire damn day. Would you two just kiss and make up, for Christ's sake?" I glared at her. "Okay, poor choice of words, I'll give you that," she held up a hand in supplication. "But you get my point. This is bullshit. You've been each others rock for a lot of years now, what," she held up her hand, Lee Press Ons the same color as her lips, raising fingers, "seven years?"

"I know, Ruby. It's not that simple." I turned back to my task of hiding … er … washing dishes.

"Sure it is."

"She told me she doesn't want to talk about, Ruby. Okay?" I turned angry eyes on her.

"Yeah, and Parker said she hates you. Look at you know- you two are as close as mother and daughter."

"Ruby, please stop. Okay? There is nothing you can do, so just stay out of it." She met my gaze for long minutes, then nodded, turning back to the coffee maker.

"Sorry, kiddo. I'll mind my own business." Gathering her cups of coffee, she left the kitchen. I turned back to the sink.

"Fuck."

*  *  *

It was very strange to hear two voices downstairs, when one of them wasn't mine. When I'd awoken, even Tut was gone, downstairs with his brother, reveling in the attention of the tall human.

"Traitors," I muttered, pushing open the kitchen door. Parker sat atop the counter watching her sister cook waffles. Just look old times. I had to smile.

"Hey, Garrison!" Parker nearly shouted, opening her arms to me. I stepped into an enthusiastic embrace, placing a kiss on the side of her head.

"How are you, sweetie?"

"Good. Guess what?"

"What?" I asked, brushing strands of fly-away hair back.

"We're coming with you to the hangar today."

"Oh yeah?" I glanced at Keller who was just turning away, attending to her cooking. "Fantastic."

And so it was to be. Keller was so cute as we drove to the hangar. I could tell she was excited, even if I couldn't hear her chatter with Parker. When we turned onto the side street that would take us to Davies Hangar, she leaned forward in her seat, wanting that first glimpse.

Once we got there, Jerome came up to me.

"Hey, Monk. Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, sure, Jerry. Come on." I closed the door behind us, and perched on the edge of my desk, waiting.

"Look, Monk, I'm an old man now, and well, I don't get to see my daughter all that much. Hell, my grandkids are growing up so fast," he looked at me with dark eyes, brow furrowed as something bothered him. I waited him out. "I want to retire, and I want Keller to take my place."

I stared at him, stunned. "You want to retire?" Nod "And you want Keller to take over as my lead mechanic?"

"Yes. That is correct." He put his hand on my shoulder. "I think she'd be great at it until you can get her ready."

"Ready? For what?"

"To join you in the skies." Jerome looked me in the eye, the most serious I'd ever seen him. "Monk, she's a great kid, and someday, mark my words, she's going to be running this place by your side."

"Do you really believe that?" I asked, nearly whispering. He smiled, that wonderful smile that always made me feel safe.

"I do. Hang in there, Monk. Everything will turn out as it's meant to. Believe in that."

Jerome's words seemed strangely prophetic to me, considering he knew nothing of what had happened between Keller and I. God, I hoped he was right.

Nodding, I stood, hugging him with a steel grip.

"I love you, Jerry. Gonna miss you." We parted and I looked up at him, seeing how shy he suddenly was.

"I love you, too, Garrison. I'm always here for you, okay? No matter what, you call, and I'll be there."

I nodded, swallowing back my emotion. "Shall I tell her or do you want to?"

"I'll go talk to her." Jerome stepped toward the door, then stopped, looking at me over his shoulder. "It's been one hell of a ride, Monk." He winked, and walked out the door.

*  *  *

"You got everything, Parker? Julia's here." I called up from my seat on the couch.

In answer, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD!

She hit the bottom of the stairs and ran into the living room, first hugging me from behind, then running over to her sister and hugging her.

"See you guys!" Dragging her overnight bag with her, she dashed out of the house.

"Don't slam the door!"

SLAM

Sighing, I shook my head. "Welcome to the world of the teenager." I muttered, saying it to Keller, though not sure if I'd get a response or not.

"Jerome talked to me today,"

She responded, which was good, but not exactly what I was expecting.

"Yeah," I put my book aside, wondering where this was going. "And what do you think?"

She folded the newspaper she'd been reading, setting it on the floor next to the chair she was sitting in. She shrugged.

"I'm sorry to see Jerome go." She looked up at me. This was the most she'd said to me in two years.

"Me, too. He kind of took dad's place at the hangar, you know?" I said, a soft smile on my face as I thought of the man I'd known my entire life. Keller nodded.

"I'm going to take the job."

"Good. I don't know what kind of training you had back in California, but if Jerry has faith in your abilities, I'm totally behind it."

"Good to know. Look, Garrison," Keller leaned forward in her chair, hands clasped between her spread knees. Her hair hung down to cover her face, which was lowered. With a deep breath, she looked up, tucking her hair behind an ear, and looking me in the eye. "I'm going to move out."

I looked at her, stunned, my heart sinking, stomach flipping over. "Okay."

"And I'm taking Parker with me."

Now I wanted to throw up. Keller wanting to move out, yes, I could understand that. She was her own person, a woman, and deserved her own space, her own life. But Parker?!

"What?" I said, feeling the bile beginning to rise.

"She's going with me, Garrison. It's time for me to start a life for me and my sister."

"I see." Taking several deep breaths, calming my stomach, I was readying myself for battle. "Soo, basically what you're saying is, you decide to go off four years ago, leaving me with your eight year old sister, asking me to take care of her, to raise her, and you come back, all done playing G.I. Jane., Parker is almost thirteen years old, and you want to take her away from what she knows?" My voice had begun to rise with almost every word I said.

"She belongs with me, Garrison. I appreciate everything you've done for her, but-"

"But what!" I stood. "But what, Keller? Thank you very fucking much, I've shit all over you, and now I'm going to leave while you clean it up?"

She also stood, looking over at me, maintaining control, yet I could see a storm in those blue eyes.

"I'm sorry that you've seen Parker and my stay here as shit. That certainly wasn't the intention. I can have us out of here tonight." Steely calm, stoking my fire.

"That isn't what I meant, and you know it. I love that kid, and I think it's pretty fucked up of you to change things yet again. Let that kid have some damn security! A foundation. She has lived here for more than half her life."

"She's been my responsibility for my whole life. She's coming with me." She set her jaw and headed for the stairs, me following on her heels.

"Why, Keller? Why are you going? Are you and your lesbian buddy, Catherine, going to set up house?"

She stopped, foot on the first stair, slowly turning to face me, fire in her eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

As soon as it had come out of my mouth, I knew it was stupid and uncalled for.

"I'm sorry. That was lame."

"Lame? What does Catherine have to do with it? Don't you mean Julia?" The venom in her voice startled me, and pissed me off.

"Don't start with that shit. Julia has nothing to do with this."

Keller started up the stairs again, and I followed.

"She has plenty to do with it," she said, slamming into her bedroom. Suddenly she stopped in the center of the room, hands on hips, then she turned. "Do you have any idea how it felt to call here to talk to you, to hear your voice, and have her answer? Not just answer, but answer from your bed?"

"I don't know, Keller how does that feel? That's the problem with you! You won't tell me how you feel. So suddenly you decide that you're pissed off and jealous because of another woman, when you have made it abundantly clear what you thought of my being a lesbian, by the way. What am I supposed to do?"

She stormed out of the room, barreling past me, almost knocking me into the doorframe.

"Where are you going?" I asked, seeing her stop again mid-hall.

"I don't know!" she bellowed, and I couldn't help it, I burst into laughter. She glared at me, and I tried to stifle it, but it wasn't working. After a moment her eyes fell, and she tried to hide her own smile with a lowered head.

"Keller, why didn't you ever tell me? God, I thought it was absolutely hopeless with you, and never wanted to think about it. God, I never said anything, never ever acted on it because I didn't want you to think I was no better than Al."

"You are nothing like Al." She glared at me again.

"How the hell am I supposed to know that? Fuck, when you saw me kissing Celeste goodbye, you all but called me a goddamn child molester!" My temper was rising again.

"I was a kid, Garrison. I didn't understand shit about shit."

"Oh, and you do now?" My hands went to my hips, and I glared right back.

"Enough to know you rejected me. You told me you couldn't do it with me. Do what? Love me?"

"Don't you listen to a goddamn thing, Keller? Jesus H. Christ! That's all I've tried to do for seven fucking years!"

Keller shook her head, heading back toward the stairs. I stood at the top, watching her go.

"Why won't you let me love you!?" I cried, my vision suddenly blurred by the explosion of emotion.

"I tried," she growled, turning to look at me, her eyes meeting mine, boring a hole through me, burning me to the core.

"Please don't do this," I nearly whispered. She only stared, cold and angry. "Don't do this to our family."

"My family is dead. Parker is all I have now." Her voice was so soft, words filled with such sadness that if they hadn't hurt so damn much, I would have run to her. "She's coming with me." With that, she headed toward the front door, grabbed her keys off the table just inside, then was gone.

PART 22

I TRULY HAD NO idea that one person could cry that much, nor did I know that after said crying fit, you'd feel nauseous as all hell.

My entire body ached, my throat ached, my butt from where it hit the top stair as I fell to it. It was a whole body affair.

I sat curled up on that top step, head in my hands, sobbing my heart out for far too long. My eyes felt like someone had rubbing sandpaper in them, and then spread glue all over my face so it dried, leaving my skin tight and painful.

Squinting my eyes a few times, I tried to loosen things up, as well as get some moisture back into my eyes. To no avail. They hurt just as bad as before, and as I stood, my head began to pound, throbbing clear down into my neck.

Standing fully, I rested my body against the well, closing my eyes to try and wait for the pain and dizziness to subside.

Well, that talk I'd wanted for two years sure went well. I pushed off the wall and slowly made my way down the stairs, locking the front door, only after checking to see that Keller's truck was, in fact, gone. Next I raided the medicine cabinet, popping two Excedrin tension tablets, and then made the long trek back up the stairs, turning off lights as I went.

The water, as hot as I could possibly stand it, fell over my skin, relaxing tense muscles and tight, irritated skin. I smoothed my hair back, raising my face to the spray, wincing slightly as the hot water stung the tortured and delicate skin beneath my eyes.

It took only mere moments for my head to fall forward, resting against the cool tile, which felt good against my thumping forehead.

Then the stinging, making my skin hurt worse, and my head pound like a damn metal band. Don't want to cry anymore, don't want to cry anymore. Damn it! I'm crying again!

Bringing my arms in to protect myself, from what, I had no idea, I slid down the tile wall, turning so my back was pressed against the wall, huddled like the child I felt.

My entire life, everything I had worked so hard for, all of it, gone. Keller might as well have put a gun to my head and said bang. There was nothing left. Inside the body, mind and heart of Keller and Parker was my own soul. Keller had taken my heart long ago, but now everything else, too.

I cried. I cried for me, I cried for them, I cried for everything that I would never have. I cried for the bitter fact that it had all been right there, right in my fingertips, and with a snap, it was gone, driving off into the night somewhere, lost to me.

I sounded dramatic in my own head, but I felt as though everything I had to live for was gone. I was an empty shell. And I hated it.

Finally turning the water off, once it began to turn into thousands of little knives made of ice, I dried myself off, padded around the house naked, taking the dogs out one more time, completely on autopilot, then headed up to bed. It was late, I was tired, and I'd try and figure everything out in the morning. Hell, maybe Parker wouldn't even want to go with Keller. But Keller would still go.

Feeling my eyes begin to prickle again, I mentally shook myself, making me stop thinking about it for one night. One night of reprieve, because in the light of day, there was no way to deny it.

Roy and Tut followed me up the stairs, the big black dog looking over his shoulder every now and then, seeing if his best human buddy was really ditching him for the night, or if she'd just magically appear.

"Come on, guys." I said, holding my bedroom door open for them. Tut jumped onto the bed, taking his spot right smack dab in the center, while Roy, who got hot easily, curled on the floor in the bathroom, with the tile. "Tut, move," the little beagle glared at me as he moved so I could pull the covers down, leaving just the sheet up, as my still damp skin was getting chilled.

"Goodnight, my boys." I said, my voice hoarse from the fight, then the hours of crying. Gingerly laying my head down, I tried to find a position that required the least amount of pressure, just short of sleeping standing up. Finding that laying on my left side wasn't as bad, I got comfortable, looking out the window, the moon high overhead, and closed my eyes.

*  *  *

The song of the birds filled the trees they perched in, nearly invisible to the eye, but beautiful to the ear. A young, waddling blonde child with a head full of thick curly hair, got up and made her way toward the tree, looking up as far as her little neck would let her.

"See the birds, honey?" A soft, velvety voice asked, a large, tanned hand resting on the child's upper back. The blonde head shook, curls bouncing everywhere. The owner of that voice knelt down, looking up into the dense branches of that tree, then raised an arm, pointing. "Look, Parker. See 'em all?" Blue eyes looked to those of the child, who was squinting, trying to see them for herself.

"Lunch is ready, guys." Another voice called out, but this one was further back, back on a blanket spread out near the tree, a basket-worth of goodies spread out on it.

"Come on, sweetie. Let's eat before mommy gets mad, okay?"

The little blonde nodded vigorously, a finger just inside her bottom lip. "Down," she said as they got closer. The blue-eyed woman put the toddler down, and on unsteady feet, the little one ran to the woman on the blanket, a huge grin lighting up her whole face.

"Hi, sweetheart. Are you hungry?" The blonde woman extended her hand, touching the child's face. The skin was so soft, butterfly touches. It was so soft and so real that the blonde woman could feel her own fingers on the child's face, and what the child must be feeling. Soft fingertips, brushing across tiny hairs that littered the skin, peach fuzz.

My eyes opened, and I nearly jumped when I realized there were fingers touching me. I focused, seeing troubled blue eyes looking down at me, brows knitted together to form a worry line in the forehead. My gaze traveled back to the face, seeing the jaw relaxed, lips lightly lying against each other.

I closed my eyes briefly as those fingers passed across my cheek again, leaning into the touch before opening my eyes again, not wanting to miss a single visual moment.

"I'm scared," Keller whispered.

"Of what?" I whispered back, reaching up to try and smooth away that worry line with my thumb. She closed her eyes, forehead relaxing.

"Of you," she said, her eyes still closed.

"Why? What do you think I'll do, Keller?" Her eyes opened again, and she sighed softly.

"You'll hurt me. Reject me. Not love me." It was said so simply, but touched me so deeply. I brought the hand I had used for her forehead, to her hand, covering it as it laid against my cheek.

"I do love you, Keller." I looked into those amazing, troubled eyes. "I always have. Always will."

"Like you did Celeste?" she seemed to hold her breath, waiting for me to answer. I smiled gently, shaking my head.

"I never loved Celeste the way I love you." I brought her hand to my mouth, gently kissing the palm. I saw her chest falter with the missed breath. Entwining our fingers, I looked at her face. "You're my life, Keller. I missed you so much."

She let out a breath, her shoulders falling with the breath, eyes closing, then she sucked it back in, eyes opening. The troubled look, the fear, the sadness was gone. Inside those eyes now I saw what I never thought I would- love. So much love.

"Why did you push me away at the airport?" She looked down, but just before she did, I saw the slightest bit of glistening in her eyes. Reaching my hand out, I gently lifted her chin with two fingers.

"Because I was a coward. Plain and simple. I was a coward." I looked into her eyes, wanting her to see the truth in those words. "You wouldn't believe how Ruby beat me up over that one." She smiled, but only slightly, looking down again. I was about to bring her chin up again, but she stopped me, catching my fingers in her own.

Without a word, she stood, stepping a couple feet back from the bed. I looked at her, unsure what she was doing, hoping to god she wasn't going to leave again. Looking straight at me, she reached down to the hem of her t-shirt, then whipped the whole thing off. I was struck dumb, looking at her, standing there in a pair of cargo shorts, sneakers, and her bra.

"Keller, you don't have to do this." I looked into her eyes, and she smiled, nodding.

"I know." Using the heel of either foot, she kicked her shoes off, followed by bending down to remove each sock. When she stood again, her fingers, which were fairly calm, went to the fly of her shorts. "I want to," she said finally, the shorts sliding gracefully down her long legs.

As I watched, stunned, my eyes taking in everything before me, she reached behind herself, snap, snap, snap. The loose straps of her bra slid down her arms, the cups falling off, the whole thing finally falling to the floor, followed by her hooking her thumbs into the waistband of her panties, pushing them down.

She stood there, naked, completely revealing something to me that she had never shown someone of her own free will. Her body, her beauty, her soul.

The moonlight streamed in, silvery light catching on the underside of a rounded breast, the tip of an erect nipple, a few crisp hairs between her legs. The rest of her was cast in shadow.

"I don't know what to do," she whispered.

Slowly I pushed the sheet off me, revealing my own naked body. She watched as my feet hit the carpet, one foot in front of the other, I approached her, taking her in as I did. The most beautiful creature I'd ever seen in all my life.

Stopping a breath away from her, I could see her breathing had increased, and I wasn't sure if it was from fear, nerves, excitement, or all the above.

Reaching out a hand, I cupped her jaw, the soft skin making my fingertips tingle, headache all but forgotten. My hand made its way up, forming to the shape and contours of her jaw, side of her throat, and finally the back of her neck. Looking up into her eyes, I saw trust reflected there, and I smiled. That had always been one of the most precious gifts she could give me.

Tugging lightly on her neck, she brought her head down, and I brought mine up until our lips touched. A shutter passed through me, touching every single nerve ending in my body, making them all quiver.

Her lips were just as soft as I remembered them, and I began to move mine against them, slow, exploring, wanting to know every part of them, everything that they enjoyed. Just … everything.

As we kissed, I closed that distance between our bodies, skin against skin, making us both moan into the kiss, Keller's tongue flicking out, swiping my bottom lip. I caught it, lightly suckling on it.

My hands found the superbly soft skin of Keller's hips, and just using my fingertips, I brushed that skin, feeling her shiver against my touch. Her own hands started on my shoulders, fingers squeezing the skin they found there, tracing across the bones, my collar bones, her head tilting just slightly, mouth opening just a bit more, taking more of me in.

I brought one of my hands to her back, wanting so badly to explore that broad plain of skin and softness, running my nails up her spine, feeling her sigh into my mouth, then shiver again as my nails ran back down, my other hand massaging her hip, fingers tips running just a bit lower to the outside of her thigh, feeling the muscle from endless miles ran.

"I can't stand," she said into my mouth, so in answer I used the hand that was on her back, pressed into the flesh, back up, her following. I broke away just long enough to push Tut off the bed, and get settled on my side, reaching for her.

I watched as she put a knee up on the bed to rest her weight on, then her hands came down, breasts swaying with the motion of her other leg joining, then she positioned herself next to me, on her side, facing me.

I looked into her eyes, my hand coming up to caress the side of her face, wanting her to see all the love I had for her in my own eyes, and just how much she was wanted, desired, yet that I would never hurt her.

She closed her eyes, leaning in, her kiss finding where we'd left off, and continuing. She moved closer, the entire length of our bodies touching now, bringing a hiss of pleasure from me, that same shiver racing through me again.

My fingers found her back again, and as it explored, sensitive fingertips could feel the old scars, old markings made by a monster, then lower yet where I felt his initials, carve so long ago.

Keller flinched slightly when she realized where I was, but I deepened my kiss, wanting her to know that I loved her for her, no matter what, no matter what she'd been through. I loved her despite and because of. She calmed.

Turning her over, I left her mouth, my eyes roaming over the landscape that was Keller. She was magnificent, breasts of medium size, but full with the light brown nipples taught. I traced the underside of a breast before I cupped the roundness, looking into Keller's face to see if she was okay. Her eyes were closed, head just ever so slightly back, leaving me too much of a temptation.

My hand fully encompassed her breast as my mouth found her neck, tongue blazing a trail up her throat, to her chin, then back down the other side. She moaned, very quietly, breathy, her body readjusting itself to the sensations that I knew were coursing through her body.

My hand felt that heft of the breast, nipple pressing into my palm. I released the breast, and used that palm in a slow circle over that nipple, making her gasp and suck her bottom lip into her mouth.

My lips left her neck, tongue licking its way to the hollow of her throat, sucking on the skin there, then traveling along both collar bones, sucking on a shoulder before trailing its way back down, licking between her breasts, my fingers outright massaging the one in my hand, my mouth finding the other.

Keller's hand found my hair, fingers running through the strands, sometimes outright pulling when she was faced with a large amount of pleasure, sure as when my mouth found her other nipple, and closed around it, flicking my tongue over it.

She was making constant noises now, low, breathy moans, sounding almost overwhelmed.

I eased off on her breasts somewhat, not wanting her to get too excited. My hand ran lightly over her side, fingers dipping playfully into her belly button, making her stomach quiver, then my tongue followed the path of my fingers, dipping in, making her start in surprise. My hand ran up and down her thigh, calming her as I sucked on the skin of her stomach, finding a scar on her side, and kissing it.

"Turn over, baby." I said, my voice low and throaty. She looked at me for just a single moment of uncertainty, then did as I asked.

Moving my body, I straddled her upper thighs, just below her butt. Looking down on her back, my heart broke all over again as I saw just how littered her back was with old scars. Only a few were tactile adventures, the majority a discoloration of her skin to varying degrees.

I ran my hands all over her back, using the pads of my fingers, and then my nails, smiling in satisfaction as I felt her body moving under me, hips doing a very slight dance, especially when I leaned over her, brushing my nipples up her back, then bringing my tongue to her back on the back pass, kissing and licking each and every scar, loving the painful memories from each one.

When I got to the initials, I ran my fingers over the two letters AM. Kissing it lightly, I said, "Not anymore."

Turning her back over, I saw the glistening of tears in her eyes, and laid my body over hers, her arms immediately engulfing me. I hugged her to me, stroking her hair, her face and neck, then my lips found her eyes, kissing away those tears, tasting the salt on my tongue.

"I love you, Keller," I whispered against her lips.

"I love you, too, Garrison." She opened her eyes and looked into mine, a small smile gracing her features. I smiled back, then kissed her again, with purpose and meaning, my knee gently nudging her thighs apart.

Laying myself fully down, my thigh between her legs, I felt her wetness against my skin, and groaned. She gasped, breaking free of my lips, as I pressed into her, my thigh putting pressure where I knew she needed it most.

Finding her mouth again, I brought myself up so I was resting on my elbows, and began to move my hips, feeling her start to do the same, finding my rhythm, her hands getting a little bolder, running down my back, her hands finally coming to cup my backside, helping my pace.

The kiss became filled with heavy breathing, after awhile just two mouths held together, sharing breath as our bodies moved together.

Keller's breathing turned into little whimpers, getting higher in pitch as her body tried to move faster and faster beneath mine. I wouldn't allow the faster pace, instead wanting this to be a slow, steady, earned release.

After a few more minutes, her fingers dug into my skin, her eyes clamping shut, mouth opening into a soundless scream.

It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. As she released, I kissed her face, her neck, back to her lips, all the while caressing her neck with my thumb.

She grabbed me to her, almost painfully, her body still going through its last spasms.

I held her tight, burying my face in her neck. After a few moments, I heard her heartbeat start to slow, and her breathing even out. Raising my head, I saw that her eyes were closed, her body giving into the need for sleep.

Leaning up, I placed a soft kiss on her lips, which startled her awake.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," she started to try and sit up, but I pushed her back down, my fingers to her lips.

"Shhh, my love." Reaching down, I grabbed the sheet and pulled it over us, settling in beside her, I rested my head on her shoulder, my arm across her stomach. "Sleep now."

I felt her kiss the top of my head. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I said, a smile on my face as sleep began to take me.

*  *  *

The morning light was coming through, making me squint against its powerful rays. The intensity told me that it was late morning.

Peeking an eye open, I saw blue ones looking at me, directly from above me.

Looking around, I took mental, physical and visual inventory. At some point in the night I'd moved myself so that my entire body was covering Keller's, my head resting on her upper chest.

I started to move, but a hand on my lower back stopped me.

"Stay," she whispered.

"Only if you do," I said, raising my brow to match that of Keller. She leaned down, pulling me up slightly to meet her, and kissed me.

"Yes."

Moving myself up even further, I rested my elbows on either side of her head, deepening the kiss, sealing that word with all the passion and love I had to offer.

She sighed, bringing her hands to my back, running her nails over my skin, as I had done to her, making me smile against her mouth.

"What?" she asked.

"Quick learner," I said, moving my mouth down along her jaw, Keller raising her head to give me complete access.

"Mm," her hands moved up, the backs of her fingers brushing against the sides of my breasts. I wanted her hands on me so badly.

Apparently she did, too, as she slowly turned us so I was on my back, and she was leaning over me. The sheet had come with me, so she slowly lowered it, looking at all that it revealed. I felt nervous and vulnerable in the light of day.

She looked into my eyes. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I've always thought you had the most amazing eyes," she said, brushing her fingers across my stomach, making it flutter. I wanted to respond, but the sensations she was bringing about in me with just her presence and a few touches was stealing my voice plumb away.

She lowered her head, testing the skin of my upper chest with her lips, then tentatively bringing her tongue out, she blazed a wet trail down to the top of my right breast, making me suck in a breath.

As she touched me, her hands gliding across my skin, her mouth sampling all that was spread before her, I felt a love wash over and through me that I had no idea could possibly exist. I knew, then and there, that I wanted that dream, wanted Keller to be with me forever, in my heart and in my bed. Wanted her and Parker to be my family, Keller to be a parent with me.

I sighed in contentment as lips closed around my nipple, making my back arch.

I wanted to build a life with Keller, a new foundation had started last night, and I just knew that, brick by magical brick, we would find that peace and happiness and ultimate love that we all craved so desperately.

My fingers roamed through her hair as her mouth found new territory to explore, hands running down my hip, down the side of my thigh, only to roam back up, spreading my legs as it went.

I knew that it would be right when we told Parker that we were a loving couple, and the kid said, "Then does that mean you'll stay forever?" to Keller, and Keller nods with love and understanding, then Parker would jump up from her seat on the couch, crushing us both with her enthusiasm.

Keller's hand found the inside of a heated thigh, becoming quickly coated with my desire for her, her fingers making my hips twitch as they just barely touch the hair there, wet heat meeting her skin.

I knew it would make us stronger as Keller took over Jerome's job, and she would bring a savvy business sense that neither of us knew she had, and we would grow and expand, her finishing up her pilots license with Ruby, who would be thrilled beyond thrilled to learn that Keller and I had finally figured things out, and Keller would become the co-owner of Davies Hangar.

Those fingers trailed through me, through my soul, finding the core of who I was, what Keller made me. My hands bringing Keller's face up to my own, needing her mouth, needing to taste her, be as close to her as possible as she made love to me.

I knew that we would be more than okay as Parker grew, got older and ever taller, more beautiful by the day, Keller and I would face it together, watch our Parker go through her triumphs and disappointments and first heartbreaks. We'd be there for her when she got into her worst fights with Zoë, only to make up three days later.

Keller's fingers found my opening, and I encouraged her to find me inside, gently pressing against her hand with my own. She moaned long and deep as she was enveloped by my warm, greedy insides, pulling her further inside, our kiss deepening as my hips began to move, showing her the pace I needed.

Even as we watched our dearest and closest friends move on to other things, and when Ruby and Jerome would die, Keller, Parker and I would still be together, still love each other. When Parker would graduate from high school, fourteen notebooks of ten years of writing filling the boxes that filled the back of her car as she drove off to New York University, Keller and I holding each other up as we watched until her taillights disappeared.

My body reacted with sighs and movement as Keller's fingers slid deeper inside me, only to pull out moments later, then sliding back in. Wanting to share such enormous pleasure, I reached down, my fingertips playing with her entrance, but she stopped me, instead putting her fingers on her clit.

We would try and be objective as we met the string of boys and men Parker would bring home over the years, until finally she would meet Richard, who would change everything in her world, and who would believe in her and her talent, and ultimately encourage her to try and get her work published.

My hand was covered with Keller's wetness as she grew more excited, her breathy moans mingling with my own as we got closer and closer, our bodies moving in tandem, the world receding until there was nothing but Keller above me, her fingers inside me, my fingers on her, pleasure passing between us.

We'd be there the day that Parker burst through the front door, waving a book in her hand. The first copy out of the box for the books her publisher had sent to her. Signed: To my special moms, Keller and Garrison, my first born. Keller and I would cry, filled with so much pride.

Finally, unable to take anymore, my body arched, convulsing, trapping Keller's fingers inside me as wave after wave crashed over me, filling me an almost painful level, with pleasure, stealing my vision, my sense of smell, taste, touch or self. I exploded into a billion particles, coming back to form a new person, one that had seen the divine. It didn't take long before Keller followed me, clinging to me as spasms quaked through her body, stealing her breath and voice.

It would be a beautiful day as we watched Parker and Richard in their black gowns, names called to receive their degrees, only to have set it up with the school prior, and had the guest speaker, also an ordained minister, marry them on the spot, on the graduation stage. More tears as our little girl no longer belonged to us.

I held Keller to me, her weight on my own security, wonderful. I ran my hands over her back, her hair, feeling her breathing calming against my neck.

"I love you," she whispered, placing a gentle kiss there.

"I love you, too, my baby. My Keller."

"Yes. I need new initials."

I slapped her lightly on the arm as she chuckled into my neck.

The grass was beautiful, green and thick. The winding path was still damp in places, leading me to believe that they had watered early this morning.

I inhaled, taking in the wonderful smells of summer, the sun beating down on my skin.

The squeeze from the hand holding mine got my attention, and I followed, stopping a short while later. Looking down, I saw Parker kneel down, brushing a stray leaf off the engraved name. She stood, taking her place next to me, her hand resting gently on my shoulder.

"It's been a long time," Keller said, her thumb absently tracing the veins on my hand.

"It has," Parker agrees, then sighs. "I can't believe she's been dead for twenty-seven years. Seems like a lifetime ago."

"It almost was for you, young pup." Keller grins at our Parker, and the kid rolls her blue eyes.

"Yeah, yeah."

We all three stand in respectable silence, each lost in her own thoughts. My own thoughts were taking me back over the years, all the things we'd been through, the amazing things, and not so amazing.

With a sigh, I turned and gave each of my loves a kiss on the cheek, my fingers being squeezed in response, and an arm around my shoulders from the other side.

"I love you guys," I said, almost a whisper.

"I love you, too, baby," Keller says.

"Me, too."

"Well," I take a deep breath, looking from one to the other. "Lets go. Richard will be waiting for us at the restaurant."

Parker bent down, placing the small bouquet she'd brought with her, in the copper holder at the foot of Trudy Mitchum's grave.

As one we turned, heading back the way we'd come.

"So, honey, what's your newest book going to be about?" Keller asked Parker.

"Well, actually, I need to talk to you guys about that. I was thinking that maybe I'd write our story."

Keller and I exchanged a glance, then looked at the kid, blonde curls still bouncing as she walked.

"Seriously! It would make one hell of a novel. And a great movie, too." She grinned.

CONTROL

by

PARKER DAVIES- DUBOIS

PART 1

THE HANGAR WAS DARK when I arrived. I was tired, sore and hungry as hell. Running a hand through short, blonde hair, I unlocked the office I shared with my father, Frank Davies, and plopped down in the old, vinyl and steel chair. The light wasn't even a consideration at this point. I had been in this hangar since the age of three, and knew it like the back of my hand.

Davies Cargo was the company I owned with my father. He was getting up in years, and so was teaching me all the aspects of the business - not just the flying part. Hell, I'd been doing that since I was ten, and flying alone since the age of thirteen.

Shhhh, don't tell the authorities.

Opening the top drawer to the desk, I found my stash of power bars.

"Yum," I moaned when I saw I had a strawberry left. Ripping the top off the silver paper, I was about to take a bite when I heard something coming from the darkened hangar where all our babies slept.

Just having returned from New Hampshire, I had just put away my baby, a 2002 Cessna 182T Skylane, and had no desire to return to her until my nine a.m. flight in five hours.

I slowly opened the door that separated the plane port from the offices of the hangar and looked around. I saw nothing. The Cessna, my father's helicopter, and the C-130 Hercules cargo were all sleeping soundly. I could see just the outline of the numerous tool boxes and benches that lined the walls, as well as the wall rack where spare parts were kept.

A plane taking off from the Warwick Airport rattled the place, but other than that, there was nothing.

Then I heard it again…

END