Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

About the Author

Recommended Reading from Blue Feather Books:

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For my mum, Rose.

Thank you for always believing in me and supporting my dreams.

This is a work of fiction.  All characters, locales and events are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

CRESSWELL FALLS

Copyright © 2011 by Kerry Belchambers

All rights reserved.  No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, save for brief quotations used in critical articles or reviews.

Cover design by Ann Phillips

A Blue Feather Book

Published by Blue Feather Books, Ltd.

www.bluefeatherbooks.com

ISBN: 978-1-935627-95-1

First edition: September, 2011

Printed in the United States of America and in the United Kingdom.

Acknowledgements

I’d like to thank the Almighty Father, without whom none of this would have happened. My mother, Rose, for supporting me and accepting me in a society that would have otherwise turned its back on me. Without your love and support, I wouldn’t have made it this far.

Everyone at Blue Feather Books, thank you so much for letting me be part of the family. Emily Reed, you are always so kind to me no matter how many e-mails I send you requesting more information. Thank you so much for your guidance and your patience. May God bless you. Many thanks to Jane Vollbrecht for welcoming me to the Blue Feather Books family.

Christine Gacheri, thank you for continuously reading my manuscript and helping me out with the initial part of editing. Also, I’d like to thank Nimmoh, for being a daily inspiration to me. Taina, the most beautiful, hardworking person I’ve ever known. Thank you for being my best friend. And to all my friends who have encouraged me and believed in me, please let me express my heartfelt gratitude for your love and support.

Chapter 1

Alicia Sanders looked through the rearview mirror at her seven-year-old son, Robbie. The sad, wounded expression on his face broke her heart. He was still wearing his dirty Little League baseball uniform and tightly clutching his baseball glove.

She had assured Robbie that his father, successful pro baseball player Jason Sanders, would make it to the game, but as usual, he let them both down. His absence was doubly disappointing because Robbie always had so much faith in him.

Alicia parked in the driveway of her large, four-bedroom house, and Robbie jumped out and ran off.

“What’s wrong with him?” Jennifer Lewis, Alicia’s long-time friend, asked.

“Jason,” Alicia said, stepping out of the car.

Jennifer followed her back to the house. “Did we at least win?”

“Yeah, we won.”

Jennifer’s pleased expression made Alicia smile despite the sadness she felt over Robbie’s disappointment.

“So what are you going to do about Robbie?”

“Give him some time then go talk to him. This isn’t something a mother should be used to, but I’m disappointed to say that I am.”

“I’m sorry.”

The door opened and Jason walked in, carrying luggage as he usually did when he came home. He dropped the luggage on the floor.

“The flight was delayed.” He walked over to Alicia, bent down, and pecked her cheek. “Hello, Jenny.”

Jennifer nodded and walked out.

“How mad is he?” Jason asked. From his luggage he retrieved a baseball bat with a red ribbon tied onto it.

“He’s not mad, Jason. He’s disappointed.” Alicia knew the baseball bat was Jason’s poor way of apologizing to his son.

“And I can tell you are, too,” he said, walking over to her. “Look, I would have made it sooner if the flight hadn’t been delayed.”

“I guess we’ll just have to forgive you then, like we have every other time you’ve missed his games.”

“Come on, honey. I feel guilty enough as it is.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, and Alicia pulled away, trying to conceal her discomfort at his physical display of regret.

“Maybe you should go and try to explain it to Robbie.”

The same wounded expression as that of their son came across his face before he left the living room to look for Robbie.

Alicia sat down in fatigue and deeply exhaled in an attempt to calm herself. Jason was a good father when he was around, but most of the time he wasn’t there. He had spent more than half of Robbie’s life away with the Black Panthers. Alicia worried he might not have spent enough time with his son to really get to know him.

After half an hour, Jason returned to the living room, holding the baseball bat in his hand. The look on his face told Alicia that Robbie hadn’t responded to him as he’d hoped. She would have sympathized with him if she hadn’t felt so betrayed herself.

Their marriage had been in trouble for several years now. Alicia felt more at peace when he was away than when he was around.

Every time she saw him, feelings of unease and betrayal crept up inside her, brutally reminding her of his infidelity. The hurt was so vivid, she felt like it was happening all over again.

She didn’t know who to resent more, herself for being so cowardly and not doing anything about it, or him for humiliating her and disappointing their son time and time again.

Robbie was a wonderful boy, thanks in part to Tony Simmons, Jason’s best friend in their high school days. He was more of a father to Robbie than Jason had ever been.

He came to Robbie’s games, fixed the bike he had taught him how to ride, and did everything Jason should have been doing. All while expecting nothing in return.

Jason resented Tony for taking his place in Robbie’s life, and more often than not, he accused Alicia of sleeping with him, which had never happened. Alicia loved Tony, but only as a good friend.

Now, as she sat there wondering what she would say to Robbie, it occurred to her how tired she was of living in an unhappy marriage that did nothing but drain her of all her energy.

She had no idea why she’d stayed married to Jason for so long. He’d never done anything to keep his family together. She might have been every woman’s envy in Cresswell Falls, but no one knew how truly miserable she was.

Her mother, Ellen Mathews, had advised her to get out of the marriage. She said she’d grown tired of hearing scandalous stories involving her son-in-law.

That was the problem of living in a small town: everyone knew everything that took place behind closed doors and made a point of letting the whole town know. Unfortunately, every rumor, despite its magnitude of exaggeration, had a grain of truth in it.

“Jason.” She hoped finally putting an end to this charade of a union would be doing the right thing for herself and, she hoped, for their son.

“Tell me what to do in order to fix this,” Jason said, interrupting her line of thought.

“I shouldn’t have to tell you. You’re his father, and you should know. I’m tired of giving you parenting advice.”

“I wanted to be here. I really did.”

“Jason, we need to talk.”

“How can I make it up to him?”

“I want a divorce.”

The words seemed to echo in the room as though they had been said in a tunnel.

“What?” Jason asked.

“I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be with you.”

“You want to leave me?”

“We both know the only reason I’ve stayed with you this long was because of Robbie. I don’t love you anymore, and I’m tired of pretending I do. I want a divorce.” It was amazing how much relief came over her.

“If this is because of today,” Jason said, “I can do better. We can go away together as a family and work on our marriage.”

The desperation in his voice made Alicia wonder if he was being serious. “You want to work on our marriage?”

“Of course I do. I love you and Robbie more than anything else in this world. You’re the only family I’ve got. I can’t be without you.”

His passionate declaration made her feel sorry for him.

“Jason, can you honestly look me straight in the eye and say this marriage has been working for you?”

What surprised her was how convinced he seemed to be that he still loved her. But how could someone continuously hurt those he loved?

“I know I have my shortcomings.”

She raised her eyebrow at his understatement.

“We can make it work. We’ll go to therapy. I’ll do anything you want.”

He went to hold her and she pulled away. “I’m tired and I don’t have the will or the strength to be with you any longer,” she said, finally admitting what she’d failed to for years.

She didn’t want to argue with him. In fact, when she’d decided to confront him, she’d hoped it would all be over in a few minutes. She hadn’t expected him to put up much of a fight. The sad truth was, she believed he had nothing to fight for.

“Alicia, honey, please think this through. Think about Robbie.”

“The only reason I’ve stayed with you this long is because I have been thinking about Robbie. He’s a wonderful boy, and he’s always had so much faith in you. I refuse to subject him to anymore of your empty promises. I’m done.”

“Alicia, please, let’s talk about this.”

She turned away, worn out by the conversation. “There’s nothing more to talk about. I’ve faced humiliation at your hands more times than a woman should have to endure. And because of you, I’ve broken every promise I’ve made to our son. I want you to take your bags and leave. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”

She walked out of the living room and went upstairs to Robbie’s bedroom.

He was seated at his desk, playing computer games. He had showered and changed out of his uniform. The sad expression was gone, replaced by the joy of playing his games.

Alicia softly knocked on his partly opened door, and when he smiled at her, she walked in and sat on his bed. He stopped playing and went to sit beside her. She pulled him close and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He hugged her as though he understood.

She felt like crying but held it in. She had never let him down, and she never would. He meant everything to her.

Holding him in her arms, she realized she had made the best decision. They were both going to be all right.

Chapter 2

“I can’t believe I’m back in this crappy little town,” Christina Brewster said.

She took the glass of brandy her stepsister, Drew, handed her and took a gulp.

“You didn’t miss it one bit?” Drew asked.

“I wish I could say I did. I prefer the big city. I like the noise and the traffic compared to the supposed tranquility and gossip of this town. In New York, everyone’s busy trying to earn a living. They don’t have time to care about their neighbors, so people mind their own business, which is more than I can say for this place.” She sat back on the couch and rested her feet on the armrest.

“Sorry you had to come back,” Drew said. “You have no idea how much it sucks being here on school break. All my friends went to France, and Dad wouldn’t let me go along with them. Although I have to say it’s strangely comforting to know that he’s not ruining just my life.”

When Chris was in fourth grade, her mother, Miranda Brewster, divorced her father, Alan, and took Chris to New York. Chris visited Cresswell Falls every once in a while and had stayed close to her father.

Alan had married Drew’s mother, Rosa, when Drew was twelve years old. Drew was twenty-two now and in college. Despite Chris’s best efforts not to like her new family, she’d grown to accept them, love them, and call them her own. Now, Chris and Drew were the best of friends. Sometimes, during Drew’s long school breaks, when she didn’t travel abroad with the rest of her friends, she visited Chris in her New York apartment. This time, Chris had come to Cresswell Falls.

Chris, at twenty-nine, had a successful career as a runway model. She possessed stunning good looks, endless locks of brown hair, crystal gray eyes, perfect flawless skin, and a devilishly sexy and slender body.

“How have you managed to survive a whole week here?” Chris asked.

“My iPod and iPhone.” Drew lifted up the gadgets for Chris to see.

“Do you know,” Chris said, “that since I left Cresswell Falls I’ve never been back longer than a week?”

Cresswell Falls, with approximately seven thousand people, wasn’t a fun place to be for a city girl like Chris. Still, it was her home.

“I have to hand it to Dad,” she said. “He really tried to be a good father. Always flying back and forth, fighting with my mother during every trip, all because he never wanted to lose me.” She smiled at the fond memories, though her parents’ fights were anything but.

“He loves you.”

“And I love him, too.” Chris faced her sister. “How have you been? Is everything okay at school? Did you stop fighting with Kay over that boy?”

Drew got up to refill their drinks. “We decided our friendship was more important, and we dumped Jackson.”

“I thought you said he was cute,” Chris teased, now that Drew could easily talk about it without getting upset over her college best friend stealing her boyfriend.

“He was the star basketball player. But I know why you wouldn’t understand.”

After Drew sat down, Chris asked, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you’re hot and guys line up for you, and you turn them all down, no matter how rich or handsome they are.”

“It’s too bad I’m into girls.”

They both laughed even though there was nothing humorous about the statement.

“It’s such a waste. They line up for you and give you everything they think you want, but you don’t have the slightest interest in them.”

“And because of me,” Chris said, “you get to meet the hottest men in the fashion industry and in Hollywood.”

“Hey, I didn’t say it wasn’t cool. Having you for an older sister is every girl’s dream. I never have to worry about you stealing my boyfriends.”

Chris laughed and threw a pillow at her. “You know, Drew, it amazes me how often you take yourself for granted when you’re one of the hottest chicks I know.”

Drew smiled at the compliment.

Chris wasn’t saying that to console her. Drew was very beautiful with dark silky hair, soft brown eyes, full lovely lips, and a gorgeous slim body.

“Are you dating someone right now?” Drew asked.

Chris recalled some of the beautiful and prominent women she had introduced Drew to. “No, I’m taking a break from love and romance. What about you? Any boyfriends?”

She noticed a familiar shade of doubt and shyness cross Drew’s face at the question.

“Be confident, little sister. It’s all driven by confidence. Tell you what, why don’t we go out tonight? I’ll show you how to be confident.”

Drew shook her head at the idea. “No, I can’t.”

“See, right there is your problem. You’re too rigid. You need to loosen up. You’ve been locked up here for a whole week. You need some air, some fun.”

Drew looked a little bit indecisive.

“I promise I won’t leave you alone.”

“All right,” Drew said.

* * *

After dinner, Drew went to prepare for the night of fun while Chris went to the study to talk to her father. She closed the door and sat across from his desk.

“I know you’ve been wondering why I asked you to come home,” he said. “I’m an old man, honey. I need you to take over the business.”

Chris looked at him in surprise. “First of all, you’re not old. You look the same as the very first day I saw you: wonderful, strong, and handsome,” she said, which made her father beam. “I’m truly honored you’d want me to continue with your legacy, but I can’t be in charge of your business.”

Alan owned the most prestigious real estate firm in Cresswell Falls.

“Why not? Didn’t you just retire from your career?” he asked.

“Yes, but I was hoping I could start doing something else,” she said, though she hadn’t really thought through what she wanted to do.

“Brewster and Associates is your birthright. I was going to hand it over to you when I retired.”

“Let Drew handle it. I don’t know anything about real estate.”

“Once Drew graduates, there will be a position waiting for her at the company by default. You two are my only beneficiaries, but until she graduates, you’ll have to be in charge.”

Chris knew he’d wanted her there for a reason, but running his business hadn’t crossed her mind.

“But, Dad, that would mean living in Cresswell Falls. I’m a city girl. I don’t belong here.”

He laughed softly at that and got up from his chair. “That isn’t a problem. You can learn to adjust. Just think about it, okay? I worked hard to ensure your future and your sister’s. Real estate runs in your blood. You’ll be a natural, no need to worry about anything. You’ll learn at my side, and when I’m certain you’re ready to take over, it’ll be yours and Drew’s.” He sounded so confident that she didn’t know how to turn him down.

“Daddy, I don’t know if I can do it.” She got up and walked into his arms.

“You’ll be fine,” he said, but she had her doubts.

“What if I don’t come to love it as you do? What if after working here for a while, I still feel it’s not something I’m interested in doing for the rest of my life?”

“Then you’re free to do as you wish. Drew can take over the company.”

Yes, Chris knew the business, and with a little tutoring from her father, she could be great at it, but she didn’t feel like it was what she was meant to do.

“Come on, smile. You might surprise yourself when you realize you’ve come to like it and, perhaps, even love it.”

She smiled and brushed a kiss on her father’s forehead. He was right. The company was her birthright, and it should have been a great honor to be put in charge of it.

* * *

“Who are they?” Jennifer asked Alicia who followed her gaze and looked at the two women who had just entered the bar.

One of them looked familiar, but Alicia couldn’t figure out where she’d seen her before. “I can’t believe you talked me into coming here tonight.”

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d gone to a bar or simply gone out for that matter. After she’d told Jennifer that she’d asked Jason for a divorce, Jennifer had been so happy and supportive that she’d taken her out to celebrate.

Alicia had hired a babysitter to take care of Robbie since her mother had been busy that night. Having a babysitter was something she wasn’t used to, so she called home every half hour to see if everything was okay.

“You needed a change,” Jennifer told her.

“It’s so loud here I can barely hear myself think.”

Jennifer glared at her. “You promised you were going to try and have a good time.”

“Okay, fine.” Alicia turned her attention back to the two beautiful women who were making their way through the crowd.

“Do you think they’re new in town?” Jennifer asked.

They looked foreign with their gorgeous, extravagant clothes and stunning looks.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Alicia said, taking a sip of her beer.

“Everybody is staring,” Drew said.

Chris held her hand and led her to the counter. “Just ignore it.”

The bartender immediately came to tend to them.

“Two beers please,” she said. “Let’s find ourselves a table.”

She got the drinks and led the way. “Excuse me, are these seats taken?” she asked the two women occupying the four-chaired table.

“No,” one of them said. “Help yourself.”

“Thank you.” Chris motioned Drew to take a seat.

“I don’t think this was a good idea,” Drew said, and Chris smiled, having known she would back out once they got there.

“I’m sorry if we’re imposing. I’m Christina Brewster, this is my sister, Drew,” Chris introduced herself to the women.

“I’m Alicia Sanders, this is my friend, Jennifer Lewis,” Alicia said.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Chris said.

“Brewster, as in Brewster and Associates? You’re Alan Brewster’s daughter?” Jennifer asked.

“Yes,” Chris said in slight discomfort for the acknowledgement. “This is Alan Brewster’s other daughter,” she added, and Jennifer acknowledged Drew.

“Chris, maybe we should leave,” Drew said.

Chris reached for her hand over the table. “Do you seriously want to spend another week locked up in the house? Come on, try and have some fun.”

She ordered more drinks and bought some for Alicia and Jennifer. Alicia was a bit apprehensive towards her, but Jennifer appeared honored, happy, and carefree. Chris didn’t understand what Alicia was doing there. It was obviously the last place she wanted to be.

“Drink some beer, loosen up,” she encouraged Drew, who started relaxing after the second bottle.

Various men tried to make a move on Chris, but she turned them down. When Drew was fully calm, she got up and went to the dance floor and Jennifer accompanied her. Chris watched as Drew started enjoying herself. The fun she was having seemed to increase her confidence.

Chris turned her attention to Alicia who was unsuccessfully trying to make a call. She appeared to be in distress and again, Chris wondered why she was there.

“Is there a problem?” she asked.

“My battery just died,” Alicia said.

“Here, you can use my phone.” Chris handed hers to Alicia.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” Chris turned her attention back to her sister.

She saw Alicia’s expression relax after she’d made the call.

“What are you doing here?” Chris asked.

“What do you mean?”

“It looks like this is the last place you’d rather be.”

“Jennifer dragged me here. This isn’t my kind of place. I’d rather be at home with my son.”

“How old is he?”

“Seven.”

“What’s his name?”

“Robbie.”

Chris smiled at Alicia. “Robbie’s very lucky to have a mother like you.”

“I’m the lucky one. He’s a great kid.” After a moment, Alicia said, “I guess you’re the one who dragged your sister here.”

“Guilty. How can you tell?” Chris asked as she looked around the room.

If she weren’t used to being a public person from her career, the countless men gawking at her would have made her uncomfortable.

“You seem to be more concerned about Drew having fun,” Alicia said. “Plus, she’s the only one you seem to be interested in.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that second part.” Her gaze locked with Alicia’s, and after a moment, she looked away.

“Can I ask you something?” Alicia asked.

“Yes.”

“What are you doing in Cresswell Falls? I mean, you walk the runways of the most renowned fashion designers in some of the greatest cities in the world.”

It surprised Chris that Alicia recognized her. “This is my home. I was born here.”

Alicia nodded in understanding.

“How did you know who I was?” Chris asked.

“It’s hard to forget such a uniquely beautiful face,” Alicia said as Jennifer came back to sit down.

“Wow! The energy in your sister,” Jennifer said with a glance at Drew on the dance floor.

“When was the last time you danced?” Chris asked Alicia, who shook her head.

“Come on.” Chris got up and took Alicia’s hand.

“Chris, no, I can’t. I’m…” Her voice trailed off.

“Jennifer brought you here so you could have fun. Try and enjoy yourself.” Chris led her to the dance floor, and Alicia shyly started moving to the beat.

The men in the bar had surrounded them like a swarm of bees, and Chris tried to put them off by dancing with Alicia. Instead, that got them watching like puppies with wagging tongues from a distance away.

After the second dance, Chris led Alicia back to the table and Drew joined them.

“You’re the best sister ever,” Drew said, and Chris noticed she was a little drunk.

“Excuse me,” Chris heard a male voice say and looked up to see a handsome man smiling down at her.

“Jason?” Jennifer said.

“Would you like to dance with me?” he asked Chris, who assumed he had some sort of attachment to one of the other two women.

“No, but thank you,” Chris said.

“I’ll dance with you,” Drew offered.

Jason, appearing slightly disappointed that Chris had rejected his request, took Drew’s hand and led her to the dance floor.

“I can’t believe he’s still in town. What’s he doing here?” Jennifer asked.

“Humiliating me, as always,” Alicia said.

Chris didn’t understand, but she got the feeling there was more going on than she wanted to get involved in.

“The nerve of that man,” Jennifer said. “You ask him for a divorce, and he shows up here trying to pick up a woman right in front of you.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Alicia told Jennifer. “It was nice to meet you, Chris,” she said.

“The pleasure was all mine.” Chris moved away so Alicia could pass.

She watched them leave and got up and interrupted her sister’s dance. “Please come sit with me for a minute.”

Drew followed her, and once they were seated, she told Drew to dance with anyone else in the room but Jason. When he came to their table to get her again, Drew turned him down, which appeared to hurt his ego.

“What did she say to you? It was all a lie,” he barked like a wounded puppy.

“Come on, Drew, let’s leave.” Chris decided the whole night had been ruined.

“I got asked out like ten times,” Drew said, following Chris out of the bar.

“That’s great.”

“Do you know that guy?”

“No, I’ve never seen him before in my life.”

“He acted strange when you turned him down, like he’s never been turned down before. He’s cute, but not that cute,” Drew said.

“Let’s go home.” Chris drove out of the parking area and headed to the Brewster residence, the largest and most extravagant home in Cresswell Falls.

Chapter 3

“Good morning, Maggie.” Chris sat down on the stool beside the kitchen counter.

Maggie was their cook and had worked for the family for as long as Chris could remember.

“Good morning, honey.” Maggie handed Chris a cup of coffee. “How is Miranda?”

At the question, Chris thought about her mother and wondered which part of Europe she was exploring now. “She’s traveling across Europe. I haven’t seen her in almost a year and a half.”

“Don’t you visit her?”

A cold chill ran through Chris at the question as she recalled her bitter history with her mother.

“No.” She reached for a fresh cookie when Maggie placed them on the counter.

“Good morning, everyone,” Drew said from the door.

“Somebody is in a good mood today,” Chris said.

Drew went and pecked her cheek. “I had a good night. Maggie, you look so wonderful today.”

“I’ll assume you’re in such a great mood because your sister is around,” Maggie said.

“What are we doing today?” Drew bit into a delicious cookie.

“We’re not doing anything, because I’m going to work,” Chris said.

Drew looked at her in confusion.

“Dad wants me to take over the company until you graduate.”

Drew frowned. “But you hate Cresswell Falls and everything associated with it.”

Chris got up and headed to the dining room, and Drew followed and sat across from her. “I didn’t say I’m doing it because I love it.”

Maggie set the table for breakfast, while the two continued talking. A few minutes later, Rosa and Alan joined them.

“Dad, you want Chris, a former runway model, to sell real estate?” Drew asked.

“Yes.”

Drew laughed at Chris.

“Shut up,” Chris said, trying not to get discouraged.

“Speaking of which,” Alan said, “there’s a house about to go on the market that I’d like you to take a look at. I’ve got foreign clients who are interested in purchasing homes and land in Cresswell Falls.”

Chris apparently showed that she wasn’t very pleased with the assignment.

“If you’re not comfortable going alone,” he said, “I could assign someone to go with you.”

“It’s fine, Dad. I can do it,” Chris reassured him.

“Can I come with you?” Drew asked and Chris nodded.

After breakfast, Chris went to her room, got ready, and met her father in his study to get the information she needed. Afterwards, she walked outside and found Drew eagerly waiting for her.

“You know,” Chris said after they got in the car, “you should be the one doing this instead of me.”

“Why would foreign investors be interested in this small town?” Drew asked.

“When you’re rich and successful, there are times when all you want to do is get away. There’s no better escape than to go where no one knows you or no one can find you.”

“Why not buy a condo in Berlin, London, or Paris?”

“When you’re rich and successful, you’ll understand. You still have a lot of growing up to do,” Chris said.

She followed the directions on the GPS navigation system in her car, and half an hour later, she parked outside a large house. The neighborhood had similar lush houses, but the elegance and extravagance of this particular one stood out.

She pressed the doorbell, and a minute later, a woman in her late fifties opened the door. Less than a second later, a young boy came to the door, too.

“Christina Brewster,” the woman said, before Chris could introduce herself. “I’m Ellen Mathews. Your father’s an old friend of mine. I haven’t seen you since you were ten.”

Chris couldn’t remember her, and her name wasn’t at all familiar.

“Please, come in. This must be Drew,” she said.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Drew said on her way in.

“This is my grandson, Robbie.”

“Hi, Robbie,” Chris said, wondering why that name sounded familiar.

Before it came to her, Alicia walked into the living room. “Chris? Drew? What are you doing here?”

“You know each other?” Ellen asked and Alicia nodded.

“We met last night at the…” Alicia’s voice trailed off, and she quickly said, “Have a seat. Would you like anything to drink?”

“No, we’re fine, thanks,” Drew said.

“My father sent me here to take a look at the house,” Chris said.

“Would you excuse us for a minute?” Ellen dragged Alicia to the kitchen.

“Hey, Robbie,” Chris said to the little boy who stood there watching them.

“You’re very pretty,” he said.

Chris, touched by his compliment, said, “You’re very handsome yourself.”

He smiled and his mother and grandmother came back into the room.

Chris wasn’t sure what was going on, but by the look of things, Alicia hadn’t been expecting her visit. “If it’s bad timing, we could come back some other time,” she told them.

“No, it’s fine. Alicia will show you around,” Ellen said.

Chris looked at Alicia, who didn’t appear too pleased by the idea.

“This way,” Alicia said, and Chris followed, leaving Drew behind with Ellen and Robbie.

“Alicia,” Chris said when they were upstairs headed to the bedrooms, “if this makes you uncomfortable, we can come back some other time. It’s no problem.”

Alicia stopped and looked at her. “It’s not you. My mom suggested I sell the house once the divorce settlement was final, but I didn’t really think about it. I thought I was ready to move on, but I honestly have no idea where to start. I guess everything’s moving a little too fast.”

Chris nodded.

“Oh, by the way, I’m sorry about last night.”

Chris recalled how abruptly Jason’s interruption had ended their night and shook her head. “You don’t have to apologize. It wasn’t your fault.”

Trying to keep a professional mind, she asked, “Where are you going to live once you sell the house?”

“Mom wants us to move in with her.” Alicia sounded like she’d rather keep the house.

“If you want, I could find you an apartment,” Chris suggested.

Alicia raised her eyebrow. “Really?”

“I’m your realtor now. Just tell me what type of apartment you want, and I’ll look into it.”

Chris could hear relief in Alicia’s laugh. “You’re not what I expected you to be,” Alicia said.

“What’s that?”

“I’ve always assumed models were stuck-up, selfish, and snobbish, but you’re nothing like that. The fact that you embrace being a real estate agent so well speaks a lot about your character.” She led Chris into one of the guest bedrooms.

“Don’t let appearances fool you. I could still be stuck-up, selfish, and snobbish.”

“I doubt that.”

Chris laughed, filling in the details she needed in a form. “I’m glad I made such a good impression,” she said and followed Alicia into the next guest bedroom.

“So, you quit your career to work in your father’s company?” Alicia asked.

“I wanted to try something new, though real estate wasn’t on my list.”

“Then why are you doing it?”

“My dad made this speech about the company being my birthright, and I couldn’t say no to him. I guess I’ll work for him until I figure out what I want to do next.”

They went to Robbie’s bedroom, and Chris continued filling in the details she needed. She stopped when she saw a large poster of baseball players and instantly recognized Jason.

Alicia silently stood there until Chris walked out saying, “You could do so much better.”

Alicia smiled at the remark and led her to the master bedroom.

It was so feminine that Chris wondered how long it had been since a man had slept there. She studied the closet and the bathroom and wrote down some details. Uncomfortable, she felt like she was invading Alicia’s personal space.

They went back downstairs, and Alicia showed her the rest of the house. When they went to a small room that Alicia had converted into an office, Chris studied it with a more personal interest.

She looked at the sewing machines, the fashion magazines, the clothes hanging on the rack, the fabrics lying on a table, and the sketchbook carelessly tossed on the desk.

The room was small, but the space was well utilized. She reached for the book and looked at Alicia who was standing at the door.

“May I?” she asked, and Alicia nodded.

When Chris saw the fabulous designs in the sketchbook, her heart stopped in surprise. “Did you do these?” she asked.

“Yes.”

Chris realized that must have been how Alicia had recognized her, having such a keen interest in the fashion world.

“You’re amazing.”

“Thank you.”

Chris continued to page through the book, and each design was more breathtaking than the last. “What are you doing about it? Have you thought about opening your own fashion line?”

Alicia giggled as though it were a joke. “No.”

Chris stared at her. How could Alicia take such a wonderful talent for granted? Some of the fashion designers Chris had worked for would have killed to own her designs or, better yet, the designer.

“Alicia, have you ever considered opening up your own fashion line?” Chris asked, a bit more seriously now.

“I thought about it, but with my failing marriage to Jason and everything else in between, I really didn’t have time for it.”

“You have time for it now. Think about it. I’d be very much interested in working with you. With four years of business school and my knowledge and experience of the fashion world coupled with your talent and designs, we could put Cresswell Falls on the map.” Chris had just found what she’d been looking for.

Placing the sketchbook back on the desk, she looked around the room again. “You have a lovely house. It’s a shame you’re selling it.”

Her gaze settled back on Alicia. She was a beautiful woman with boyishly short blonde hair that exposed the lovely bone structure of her face, soft brown eyes, heart-shaped pink lips, and a slender, gorgeous body.

She appeared afraid, even wounded. The previous night, at the bar, Chris had gazed into her eyes and felt as though she could see the very depth of her soul.

“It’s too big for just me and Robbie,” Alicia said. After a moment, she asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Chris slowly shook her head, though she didn’t avert her gaze. Instead, she walked over to where Alicia was standing and looked into her lovely brown eyes as though she could find answers neither one of them possessed to questions not yet asked.

Alicia’s gaze softened, and her breathing pattern became long and deep. Chris touched her chin and very softly ran the back of her hand against Alicia’s cheek.

She was surprised at how tempted she was to kiss Alicia. All she had to do was lean forward half an inch, and her lips would devour Alicia’s.

Very slowly, she trailed her hand over Alicia’s neck. She felt the texture of the contours against her flesh and rested her hand over Alicia’s chest to feel her fast-beating heart.

“How long were you married to Jason?” she asked.

“Eleven years.”

“Did he ever make your heart beat this fast?”

Alicia cleared her throat as she attempted to move away.

Chris didn’t stop her. Instead, she watched and studied her, noticing how nervous she’d gotten. She saw her confusion and heard the change in her voice.

“Would you like to take a look outside?” Alicia asked.

Chris stepped over to her. Alicia was straight, she’d just gotten out of a bad marriage, and she had a son. So what was it about her that Chris was so drawn to?

That Alicia was straight should have stopped her, though it had never stopped her before. That she had just gotten out of a bad marriage should have been a contributing factor. Why didn’t it weaken her will? She turned Alicia around to face her.

“I wish you’d stop looking at me like that,” Alicia said.

“Like what?” Chris told herself to turn and walk away.

“Like my very soul is open to you. I’ve never felt so exposed in my life.”

“Does it scare you or excite you?” Chris leaned closer until Alicia’s very scent was imprinted in her.

“Both,” Alicia said, and Chris’s soft lips descended upon hers.

Chris didn’t try to further explore the simple kiss. Instead she waited until it had established itself in Alicia, giving her a chance to push her away.

When she didn’t, Chris gently and very slowly continued to kiss her. Alicia’s response was so unexpected that a bolt of lightning flashed through Chris’s entire body, slightly paralyzing her.

She hadn’t been prepared for the effect the kiss produced in her. When it began to deepen, Chris felt as though she’d played with fire and now she was getting burned. She pulled away at once, startled that Alicia could drive such shocking waves of excitement through her.

Feeling as though she’d been tasered and the electricity was still going through her, Chris watched Alicia place her hand over her own lips in a daze, as though unable to comprehend what had just happened.

Chris hadn’t expected her to respond so passionately. The tremors of heat dancing within her had her lips burning with restrained desire, and her body was unusually awake and alert.

She needed time to sort this out. “Maybe we should take a look outside now,” she said and left the small office through the back door.

She took a deep breath, trying to figure out what had just happened and quickly composing herself before Alicia joined her.

She resumed filling the forms, yet felt the urge to take a dip when she saw the inviting swimming pool. Maybe it would cool her down a bit.

Trying to ignore the violent tug in her heart that reminded her of what had happened less than a minute ago, she turned around to find Alicia looking at her.

Alicia quickly glanced away as though she’d been caught cheating on a math test, and Chris waited until her brown gaze settled on her again.

They were a safe distance apart, but it felt like a magnet in between was pulling them closer together.

Chris could see the fight in Alicia’s eyes. She wanted to say something or to come up with some sort of distraction, but her mind was blank.

When Jennifer chose that moment to walk out through the back door, a wave of overwhelming relief washed over her.

“Hey, guys.”

Alicia finally tore her gaze away and welcomed her friend. “Hey, Jennifer, how are you?”

Chris noticed how glad she was for the interruption as well and quickly added to Alicia’s statement. “I hope you had fun last night.”

Jennifer nodded in excitement. “We should all go out again. Alicia said she started having fun when you guys showed up.”

Chris saw Alicia turn scarlet at Jennifer’s admission.

“Maybe we should,” Chris said, finally finishing with her appraisal forms.

“Is it true you want to sell the house?” Jennifer asked Alicia.

“Yes, that’s why Chris is here.”

“Following in your father’s footsteps?” Jennifer asked Chris, reminding her of how much she disliked working as a realtor.

“I guess,” she said and headed back to the house.

Drew was playing with Robbie while Ellen was setting snacks on the table.

“Are you done?” Drew asked when she saw her, and Chris nodded.

Chris walked over to Ellen. “You said my father is a good friend of yours. Did you know my mother?”

“Miranda? Of course I did. We grew up together.” Ellen started recounting stories of their childhood.

Alicia entered the house and was pleased to see Robbie playing and laughing with Drew. Chris was engulfed in a conversation with her mother, and Alicia wondered what they were talking about.

“That woman is too beautiful,” Jennifer said from behind her, which automatically prompted her to remember the kiss.

She wasn’t sure what surprised her more: that a simple kiss had the power to awaken so many dormant sensations within her, or that the powerful kiss had come from a woman.

Maybe it was because it hadn’t been just any ordinary woman. Chris was anything but ordinary.

“Did Chris tell you what happened with Jason after we left?” Jennifer asked.

Alicia shook her head, feeling like tiny butterflies were running through her stomach when Chris looked at her from across the room. “No.”

Suddenly an overwhelming sense of warmth embraced her body, and she broke their gaze. She felt like she was standing close to Chris again and could feel her warm breath fanning her skin. Her heart pounded in her chest.

“Are you okay?”

She shook away the image and turned her attention back to Jennifer, confused by the strange sensations holding her body captive. “Uh, yeah.” She wished she could have entrusted Jennifer with the secret of what had happened. She was a good friend, but like everyone else in the small town, she couldn’t resist some juicy gossip.

“Your mom seems to be really taken by Chris, and Robbie looks like he found his perfect match in Drew,” Jennifer said.

Alicia looked at her son. He was so happy that it lit her up inside, and Chris and Ellen were laughing over something funny one of them had said.

“It’s weird,” Jennifer said. “The Brewster siblings with their Ivy League education, their expensive clothes, big houses, luxurious cars, and everything else they own—you’d think they’d be arrogant and selfish and treat us like we’re nothing.”

Chris was looking at Alicia, and despite the distance, it felt like they were standing next to each other having this sweet, silent conversation.

“Well, not you, because you’re rich. At least Jason was good for something. He gave you a generous settlement.”

Alicia may have been standing next to Jennifer, but she wasn’t there.

“Will you move back in with your mom once you sell the house?”

Alicia shook her head and decided to join Chris and Ellen, leaving Jennifer talking to herself.

“Alicia, did you know our mothers grew up together?” Chris said when she joined them.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Apparently, all the boys in town called them double trouble. They had quite interesting adventures while growing up.”

“Your father,” Ellen said to Alicia, “and Alan Brewster were best friends. I think there might have even been a time when you two played together, but you were too young, you wouldn’t remember. When Alan divorced your mom, Chris, she took off and never kept in touch.”

Alicia saw a different expression come across Chris’s face at the statement.

“Wait. Dad divorced Mom?” Chris asked.

“Yes, he couldn’t handle your mother’s insatiable appetite for men,” Ellen said as though Chris were already aware of it.

“What? Mom cheated on Dad when they were married?”

Alicia noticed the information was new to Chris and stopped her mother. “Mom.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I thought you knew,” Ellen said.

“It’s okay, Ellen,” Chris said.

“Sit down, have some snacks. Drew, Robbie, Jenny, come over here,” Ellen said and they all sat at the table as she served them.

Chris and Drew barely touched their snacks, but before they left, Chris asked Alicia to think about the business proposal.

When Chris had expressed interest in working with Alicia, it had come as a surprise. Alicia still thought it was too good a deal to be true. To finally get a chance to follow her dreams was scary. What if she failed?

But if Chris was genuinely interested, how could she fail and what did she have to lose? No, she was getting ahead of herself. She needed to really think about this. She couldn’t just do it on impulse. Robbie was and would always be her number one priority.

Chapter 4

Alicia watched through the window as Robbie played soccer with Tony. She fondly remembered how much fun it had been going out on double dates with Jason, Tony, and his many girlfriends during their high school years.

Tony had been a baseball player as well and might have been as successful as Jason, if he hadn’t been injured in a car accident that ended his dreams.

He’d contentedly settled for coaching Robbie’s Little League baseball team after dropping out of college and going to work in an automotive parts store. Despite the rift between him and Jason, he remained Alicia’s friend, being there for her whenever she needed him. She loved him for never letting her down, for being so good and loyal.

The loud and rather rude knock on the door roused her out of her thoughts as she went to open it. She was surprised to find Jason there and couldn’t help wondering how long he intended to stay in Cresswell Falls before he left on his tours again. He’d been here for two weeks now.

After telling her lawyer to draw up the divorce papers, she’d signed them the moment she’d received them and given them back. Jason had signed them just as fast, and the settlement had only taken a few days.

Alicia had thought he would disappear, go back to touring with the Black Panthers, probably never to be seen or heard from again, but she had been wrong.

At that moment, he was in a very bad state. He looked dirty and drunk in a pair of blue jeans and T-shirt that he appeared to have stayed in for days. His face was unshaven, and his hair was in an untidy ruffle. She didn’t know why he was there, but the sight of him repulsed her.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, pushing the door open and stepping out of his way.

When he entered, she closed the door and followed him.

“Alicia, I don’t know what I did to make things between us this bad, but I need to know if there’s anything I can do to fix it or make it go back to the way it used to be.”

She wondered if he’d forgotten that they were now divorced. “There is nothing you can do.”

His expression changed from pathetic to angry in a split second. “I want to see my son,” he said in a demanding tone.

She didn’t want Robbie to see him that way. Robbie still looked up to him so much. “I think you should go take a shower, sober up, and then come back,” she said, but he didn’t want to hear it.

The sound of Robbie laughing and playing at the back of the house had him staggering his way there.

“Jason, please,” Alicia said as he stormed out.

She followed after him and saw an angry look come across his face when he saw Tony.

“What are you doing in my house?” Jason shouted.

Alicia went to Robbie and led him back to the house. “Go to your bedroom and don’t come out until I say so,” she said, and he ran up the stairs to his room.

“Jason, come on. I’m only playing with the kid,” Tony said.

“You must think I’m a fool. You think I don’t know? You’ve loved her since ninth grade, and you resented the fact that she chose me over you. So what? You couldn’t wait until we got a divorce to claim her?” Then he turned to Alicia. “And you. You slut!”

He had never insulted her before, but Alicia wasn’t surprised that he had started. Tony punched him in the face and sent him falling down on his back. It happened so fast that even Alicia didn’t see it coming.

“Tony.” She went to pull him away from Jason.

 “Look at yourself. You’re a mess,” Tony told Jason.

“You’ve always been jealous of me, you bastard.” Jason struggled to get up on his feet.

When he saw Tony holding Alicia in his arms, he went ballistic. He tried to attack him again, but after the blow he’d received, he could barely stay on his feet.

“After everything I’ve done for you? Alicia, you’d be nothing without me. All these, the house, the car, the money, you’d be like any other pathetic woman in this town if I had never married you. What do you think he’s going to give you? He has nothing.”

Alicia knew he was speaking out of anger and a bruised ego, but his words still hurt her.

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you,” Tony warned him.

“Tony, please get him out of here,” Alicia said.

When Tony moved to help him, Jason tried to fight back, but in his condition, Tony easily overpowered him and dragged him out of the house by his pants.

“I’m sorry,” Tony said when he got back.

Alicia went into his arms, and their lifetime of friendship made her feel safe.

“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling back to look at her.

“I’m fine.”

“I hate that he keeps hurting you.” He took her back in his arms.

When she was calm, she recalled Jason’s words. “Was any of what he said true?” she asked.

“Which part? He said a lot.”

“He said you’ve loved me since the ninth grade. Was he making that up?”

Tony hesitated and then pulled away. “He was drunk. He didn’t know what he was saying.”

“I can’t believe Robbie saw him like that.” Tears engulfed Alicia.

“I’ll go talk to him,” Tony said.

You’d be like any other pathetic woman in this town if I had never married you. Jason’s words replayed themselves in her mind. Everything she owned was as a result of their marriage. She’d never worked for anything in her life.

When she realized how true that was, her heart broke again and her emotions took over. Maybe she could change that. He might have provided everything she owned, but it wasn’t because of her lack of trying. She could still make something of herself.

* * *

“Daddy, can we talk?” Chris asked her father.

Alan was so used to his study that when he was at home, he spent more time in that room than he did in any other part of the house.

“Is something wrong?” Alan asked, getting up from his desk and walking over to his daughter.

“No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just that I’ve been meaning to talk to you about what happened between you and Mom. Why you two got a divorce.”

She’d wanted to talk to him for a couple of days, but after she’d started working for the company, she’d gotten very busy following through the procedure of selling Alicia’s house and trying to find her an apartment.

“I thought we were past that.”

“We are. I just want to understand what really happened.”

“She was a wonderful woman, and we had a great marriage. You’re the living precious proof of that. But somewhere along the way, things changed, and we couldn’t work through our issues so we got a divorce,” he said. Chris was touched by how he was still willing to protect her mother’s virtue.

“Daddy, did Mom cheat on you? Was that why you divorced her?” she asked and his face softened.

Until Ellen had told her that it was her father who had divorced her mother, Chris had always thought it had been the other way around.

“Oh, Daddy.” She wrapped her arms around him.

She wondered if she’d taken after her mother. She couldn’t recall ever having been in a successful relationship.

“I’m sorry you had to find out.” Her dad sounded regretful, but the truth was, she’d never blamed him for the failure of his marriage to her mother.

“I guess I always knew, and I just didn’t want to see it. Mom always had male company around her.”

“I tried to fight her for custody, but I didn’t want to put you in the middle of our bitter divorce.”

“I love you, Dad,” she said, hugging him again.

“I love you too, Chris.”

“Hey, Chris,” Drew said from the door. “I need to talk to you.”

Chris pecked her father’s forehead and followed Drew to the empty living room. “Dad’s expensive brandy again?” she asked when Drew poured her a drink.

“Isn’t it what we bond over?” Drew handed her a glass. “Do you remember the guys I danced with at the bar that night we went out?”

Chris nodded as she downed her drink.

“One of the guys, Porter, called and asked me out.”

“What kind of name is Porter?” Chris asked, not sure she wanted Drew to go out with a random guy she’d met in a bar.

“That’s your disapproving tone,” Drew said.

“You don’t know him well enough.”

“We talked on the phone a couple of times.”

“That doesn’t confirm anything. Drew, going out to have fun on a single night is fine, you can do whatever you want, meet all sorts of crazy people and let loose, but you can’t base a relationship on that.”

“I’m not going to marry the guy. I just want to have a little fun. It’s boring staying here and doing nothing.”

Maybe she was being too hard on Drew. After all, she was smart enough to make her own decisions. “Okay, fine, but I want to check him out first before you go out with him.”

Drew nodded in excitement as though she were fifteen. Chris appreciated how she told her about it first before she did anything.

“Are you two drinking the good stuff again?” Alan asked when he stepped through the doorway.

“Excuse me, I have some business calls to make.” Chris ran out of the room and went upstairs to her bedroom.

She got her phone and dialed Alicia’s number. She had a couple of apartments she wanted her to take a look at. Since the house was now on the market, it was just a matter of time before it got a buyer.

“Hello?” Alicia said from the other end of the line. Chris hesitated as the memory of what had happened the last time they met passed through her mind.

“Alicia, it’s Chris.”

This time it was Alicia who went quiet.

“I found two apartments I was hoping you could take a look at. Will you be free tomorrow around eleven?”

“Uh, yes, I think so.”

“Okay, good. I’ll give you the address. We can meet at the first apartment and check out the other one after.” Chris felt proud of herself for the progress she’d made so far.

“That’s great. I was actually hoping I could talk to you,” Alicia said, and Chris wondered if she’d thought about the business proposal.

“After I show you the apartments, we’ll go somewhere and talk.”

“All right.”

After the short conversation, Chris hung up the phone, and before her thoughts could wander off, it started ringing again. She answered immediately and was a little disappointed when her mother spoke.

“Hello, darling. How is Cresswell Falls treating you?”

So far, she was surprised to admit, she was enjoying herself. “Not so bad. I ran into an old friend of yours. Does the name Ellen Mathews ring any bells?”

“Ellen? She still lives in that little town? Tell me, how is she? Does she look older than me?” Miranda asked, and Chris couldn’t help laughing.

At least she knew where she’d gotten that unwavering confidence from. “She’s fine, Mom. She has a grandkid. His name is Robbie.”

“Good for her. How is your father and his second wife?”

Chris knew her mother had some resentment towards Rosa because she was the perfect wife and the perfect mother, but she never made any remarks about it.

“They’re both fine.”

“What about your sister?”

Surprisingly, despite how she felt about Alan’s second marriage, Chris’s mother was very fond of Drew.

“Drew’s fine. She’s here on school break. How is Europe?”

“Oh, I’m in Athens, and it’s absolutely beautiful here. I met a young man named Alexis. He’s been very nice and generous with his time.”

“Mom. Trust me. I don’t want to know the details.”

“Well, you asked. Speaking of which, your agent, Andrew Fox, has been asking about you. You know, just because you retired as a runway model, it doesn’t mean your career in fashion has to end. The fashion world loves you. Andrew says he can book you a photo shoot with Glimpse fashion magazine and get you auditions for movie roles. I didn’t think your stay there would last this long.”

It had only been a week and a few days, but Miranda was right, that was a long stay for Chris at Cresswell Falls. “I’ll talk to Andrew,” she said.

“What are you doing there?” Miranda asked, and Chris knew she wouldn’t like the truth.

“Dad wanted me to take control of the company.”

“Has Alan lost his mind?”

“What? You don’t think I can do it?”

“Honey, you can do anything, but real estate? It’s not you.”

She wanted to disagree, but on that note, her mother was right.

“You’re a princess,” Miranda said and Chris smiled. “I know you don’t want to let him down. I can even guess you’ve started and are already making progress, but I don’t think it’s something you’d enjoy doing on a long-term basis.” She was right about that, too.

“I’ll do it until Drew graduates or at least until I find something else,” she said and thought of her idea involving Alicia’s incredible designs.

“You always want to make him proud.”

That was true, she’d always wanted to make her father proud.

“Talk to Andrew, hear him out.”

“I’ll do that.”

“Okay, honey, I have to go. Alexis is waiting for me.”

Chris hung up and thought about calling Andrew. If Alicia agreed to go ahead with the business proposal, Chris could use Andrew’s expertise for the business.

But then, if she started working with Alicia, she’d have to stop working for her father unless she could do both at the same time. She doubted she could. Starting up a new business would take up a lot of time, money, and energy.

* * *

Chris parked her car and picked up her ringing phone. She reached for the documents she needed and got out as she answered.

“What time will you get back home?” Drew asked.

“I don’t know, why?” Chris turned to see Alicia getting out of her car. It was eleven on the dot.

“I told Porter you wanted to meet him.”

“Drew, I have a meeting. Let me call you when I’m through, okay?” She hung up before Drew could respond. She put away her phone and walked towards Alicia.

“How long ago did you get here?” Chris leaned forward to give her a light hug.

“About five minutes ago. I didn’t want to be late and didn’t know how heavy traffic might be.”

They headed towards the entrance of the apartment building, and after passing the doorman, they got into the elevator and Chris pressed the seventh floor button.

She explained the few details Alicia needed to know regarding security and accessibility. When they got to the apartment, Chris showed her around the two bedrooms, the small but accommodating kitchen, living room, the bathroom near one bedroom, and the other one in the master bedroom.

“I like it, but it’s a bit too small.”

Chris could see why Alicia was apprehensive about the apartment after living in a spacious four-bedroom house.

“No problem, we can take a look at the other one. I think you’ll like it. It has three bedrooms, a larger living room space and kitchen, and there’s a pool outside and a large playground. It’s in a safe location, and I think Robbie will especially like it. The people already occupying the apartments have kids his age.”

They left and headed to the location with Alicia following Chris in her car. The drive lasted twenty minutes, and when they arrived, Alicia was already smiling.

“You forgot to mention that the apartment building is gorgeous,” she said. Chris was pleased to see how happy she looked.

There was more security at that apartment building as compared to the other one, and the exterior part of the building was more appealing and presentable. A large playground outside the building was safely away from the parking lot, and the pool and building were surrounded by a high wall with an electric fence for security.

“I love it,” Alicia said after looking through the apartment.

“Great. I’ll do the paperwork for you. I suggest we move you as soon as possible.”

“You offer moving services?”

“Yes,” Chris said. She handed Alicia a brochure. “This will explain the arrangements. Have you told Jason you’re moving?”

“I’ll tell him as soon as we’ve already moved.”

They left the apartment and went to a restaurant for lunch. After they took their seats and ordered their meals, Chris noticed how the other customers were watching them. If she wasn’t already used to it, it might have bothered her.

She doubted anyone in Cresswell Falls recognized her as Alicia had. Maybe they were just curious. Then she overheard some people at the next table shamelessly talking about Alicia and a fight she’d had with Jason. Oh, so that was why everyone was staring at their table.

Apparently Alicia heard the same conversation. “Since Jason came back, I’ve been the main topic of discussion in this town,” she said.

Chris pulled out her wallet and placed some bills on the table. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Alicia got up and quickly followed her.

“Get in, I’ll send someone to pick up your car later and drop it off at your house,” Chris said, and Alicia got in the passenger seat.

“Haven’t you heard the rumors?” Alicia asked when Chris was driving.

“I learned a long time ago not to listen to gossip in this town. I really don’t care about what people have to say. I think that’s why I love my house so much, because it’s far away from everyone.” She drove the car into a drive-in and ordered the same meals they had ordered at the previous restaurant.

“I don’t know how I attract the gossip. I wish Jason would just leave. He’s never been back this long. Every time I think he’s gone, he surprises me and pulls one of his humiliating maneuvers.”

“I’m sorry about that.” Chris took the fast food she had ordered and drove away.

“Where are we going?” Alicia asked.

“You’ll see. Why did you stay with him for so long if he made you so unhappy?” she asked.

“I wanted Robbie to have him in his life, but it took me awhile to realize he wasn’t. Not much else was keeping us together, because I had stopped loving him. Sometimes I wonder whether I ever truly did. We were so young when we got married. I think I grew up after I gave birth to Robbie. The illusion faded when I realized how lonely and miserable I was.” She spoke with such depth of emotion that Chris felt sorry for her.

“Do you feel happier now? Without him?” she asked.

“I feel liberated, hurt, and betrayed.”

“Did he cheat on you? Was that one of the reasons why you left him?”

“You really don’t pay attention to the gossip, do you?”

Chris shook her head.

“About two years ago,” Alicia said, “when he was traveling with the team, I went to see him. I wanted to surprise him, but the surprise was on me. I found him on top of another woman.”

Chris couldn’t imagine how hurt she must have been.

“There were always rumors, but I never wanted to believe them. I had to walk in on him with another woman to realize how blind I had been.”

“It was his loss.” Chris wondered how a man could take such a beautiful, wonderful woman for granted.

“Thanks,” Alicia said. “It’s odd. I don’t usually open up like this.”

“I’m honored that you’re opening up to me,” Chris said.

She could feel Alicia’s eyes on her, but she stayed focused on the road. When she stopped the car and was met by the lovely sound of the waterfall, she heard Alicia say, “Cresswell Falls.”

Alicia got out of the car and strolled over to the protective railing to look at the natural miracle of a waterfall that the small town was proudly named after. “I haven’t been here in ages.”

Chris was glad to see being there gave Alicia such joy. It prompted her to leave her own cares and worries behind and listen to the beautiful melody the falling water made as they watched the magnificent scenery.

“Every time I came home, Dad brought me here. It was our special place. He never wanted me to forget where I had come from. The last time we were here, I was twenty years old.” She walked back to the car, retrieved the meals and a mat, and set them down on the grass-covered ground.

Alicia sat beside her. Chris unpacked the food, and using disposable plates and spoons, she served them both. They started eating, and the silence between them was filled by the purely beautiful music of the waterfall.

“There’s something therapeutic about the sound of a waterfall,” Alicia said.

Maybe it was the lack of prying eyes, people shamelessly spreading gossip, or maybe it was simply the waterfall itself and its representation of the very root of their entire life. Whatever it was, being there in the tranquility of nature gave Chris a sense of belonging.

“How is Drew?” Alicia asked.

“Drew’s fine. She wants me to check out a boy she met at the bar so she can go out with him.”

“You two get along so well.”

“Why wouldn’t we? She’s my baby sister.”

“I guess some people would have a problem getting close to a step sibling.”

“I didn’t like Rosa and Drew at first when my dad remarried, but Rosa loved me and treated me like her own and Dad did the same with Drew. They led by example, and all Drew and I did was follow. Besides, it would be hard not to like Drew. She’s an incredible young woman.”

“Yeah, she is.”

“How’s Robbie?” Chris asked.

“He’s a strong boy. I don’t want him to resent his dad, but when people talk the way they do in front of their kids, it gets back to him and hurts him. He understands the divorce and is all about protecting me against Jason. Because of Jason’s immaturity, he has single-handedly managed to turn his own son against him.”

“I’m sorry things aren’t easier.”

“If things were easier, no one would know how to be strong. Anyway, the reason I wanted to see you was to tell you I thought about your business proposal and I’d like to explore it,” Alicia said.

“That’s great. I was hoping you’d say that.”

“Can you talk me through it?”

“Yeah, sure. We’ll need office space where you’ll put your workstation, which won’t be hard to find since I happen to work in real estate. Then we’ll get equipment and everything else we need for you to design and produce the clothes. I’ll talk to my contacts in New York, see if we can manage to showcase your designs. Then I’ll talk to a Hollywood friend, Joey Bradford, and see if we can get her to walk down the red carpet wearing your design. It’s a process, and getting it rolling might take a little bit of time, but once we start, we’ll be set. Your work is to design, and mine will be to show the world your creations.”

Chris knew she had been born for the fashion world, and this was her opportunity to build herself as a serious businesswoman. People thought that models were brainless beauties, but she was determined to prove them wrong.

“Once your name becomes a household fixture, prestigious clothes stores around the world will purchase your clothes and everyone will have access to them. Not to say it’ll be easy, the fashion world is a messy place. One bad review could ruin your career. It’s competitive, frustrating, and even dangerous. Fashion designers can steal your ideas, so you’ll need to be careful, but I think we’ll make a good team and we’ll have fun.”

After everything Alicia had been through, Chris believed the business would somehow help balance her life. “Are you sure you want to do it?” she asked to confirm that Alicia didn’t have any reservations.

“It’s my dream.”

“Then let’s make it come true.”

Chris saw the mixture of emotions going through Alicia and reassuringly looked at her.

“Will you be able to manage to work two jobs?” Alicia asked.

“I doubt it. I’m still trying to figure out how I’ll tell my dad that I’ve discovered what I want to do with the rest of my life.”

“I’m sure he’ll be supportive.”

Chris nodded, but she didn’t want to break his heart. He’d been so happy and excited about handing over his business to her. “I think he will.”

He would be supportive, even if it broke his heart. That was the kind of father he was, and Chris loved him dearly for it.

“Have you told Ellen and Robbie?”

“No, not yet. This is the first time I’m going after something I want. I’m so afraid of failure that I fear I might quit before I even begin.”

“You’ll be doing something you love, something you have a passion for. There’s no way you can fail,” Chris said. “I know this is a big step for you, and it’s okay to be afraid, but I want you to remember that you’re not alone. We’re in this together.”

Alicia nodded, showing Chris the words of encouragement had worked. The phone rang again, and Chris answered.

“Where are you?” Drew asked and Chris looked at Alicia.

“In a meeting. Is something wrong?”

“No, I wanted to tell you that Porter will be coming by at five.”

“I’ll be home by then.”

“What kind of meeting are you in?” Drew asked, and Chris laughed at the question.

“A business meeting. What do you think?”

“Don’t bite my head off.”

“I’ll see you later.” She hung up and turned her attention back to Alicia whose gaze had drifted off to the waterfall.

It was amazing how beautiful God’s creations could be. Everything about the waterfall—the location, the sky, the environment around it—was perfect.

“Do you want to hear something strange?” Alicia asked as she stared into the falls.

“Uh-huh.”

“I haven’t heard my mom speak of my father since he left. I heard her mention him to you for the very first time.”

“She was just talking about how he used to be best friends with my father.”

“I don’t know anything about him. Sometimes I feel like she stole him from me. I guess in a way, that’s why I’ve put up with Jason, because I never wanted Robbie to grow up feeling like this.”

“Do you know what happened to him?”

“I know he’s alive somewhere, but I have no idea why he left.”

Chris stretched out and closed her hand over Alicia’s. “Maybe one day you’ll find out. Maybe it hurts your mother too much to talk about him.”

“I’ve always thought so, too, but when she was talking to you, it seemed easy for her to bring him up.”

“Probably because I reminded her of my mother.”

Alicia stood up and walked over to the railing. Chris got up and joined her. A soft cool breeze passed by them as though they were invisible.

Chris stared at the waterfall and said, “If you want, I could talk to my dad and ask him if he knows anything about your father.”

Alicia looked at her with so much hope and expectation that Chris wished she hadn’t said that. What if she got nothing out of her father?

“Would you? It would mean so much to me,” Alicia said and Chris nodded.

Alicia withdrew the hand she’d placed over Chris’s, making Chris more aware of it. Accompanying the realization was a wave of jitteriness and a memory of their kiss.

The sensations that had traveled through Chris’s body had resembled electric waves of shock. It was something she’d never experienced before, and that had made her panic. That was why she’d pulled away so abruptly during the kiss.

She wondered what Alicia had felt, being a straight woman who may or may not have ever experimented with another woman. She had kissed like a woman who had not been kissed in a long time, which Chris understood because of her situation with Jason. But what Chris wanted to know was, had the same electricity passed through her?

Chris’s gaze softened, gently caressing Alicia’s skin. She recalled Alicia’s racing heart and wondered if it had picked up pace again. The moment was quickly starting to resemble the previous intimate one in the house.

“I feel self-conscious when you look at me like that,” Alicia said, moving her palms over her hips as though she were nervous.

“Do you want me to stop?” Chris touched Alicia’s chin so that their gazes were locked again. She could see Alicia struggling to come up with an answer.

“It’s that I don’t understand why you do it.”

“What do you mean why?”

Alicia closed her eyes, and Chris took a step forward as all those sensations came back to the surface.

“You’re…” she started to say but Chris stopped her by placing her index finger over her lips.

“Don’t,” she said. She didn’t like being reminded about who she was.

“It’s just that you make me feel so aware of myself,” Alicia admitted as Chris ran her fingers through her short blonde hair.

“Is that a bad thing?” Chris asked, taking another step closer.

“I don’t know.”

“Tell me something you do know.” Chris ran her thumb over the outline of Alicia’s jaw.

“When you kissed me, it made me feel more alive than I’ve felt in years,” she said. Chris fought against leaning closer, but her body was entirely listening to her heart.

She kissed Alicia again, just as softly as the first time, but this time, she clasped her arms around her waist, holding her close. She could feel Alicia’s heartbeat, or was it her own? She didn’t know.

Alicia reciprocated, easily parting her lips, and that movement ignited a flare within Chris that birthed a fire of such desperate need, it shocked her.

Chris could feel the electricity moving through her skin, making her hair rise as the panic that stayed silent within her unlocked itself and urged her to run away as far and as fast as she could. But she failed to and, instead, forced herself to stay calm, letting her senses and her entire being enjoy the simple magical thrill of the kiss that drove such madness through her.

Then suddenly, as soon as it had begun, it was over. Alicia abruptly pulled away, and Chris gracefully released her.

She turned to face the waterfall, thinking about how delicate Alicia was. She was on a journey in search of healing, contentment, and emotional freedom. She had enough complications in her life to deal with, and it was unfair for Chris to add more confusion to it.

Besides, Alicia wasn’t just any woman. She was a mother. She had serious duties, obligations, and responsibilities. To add to that, she wasn’t Chris’s type. Chris usually went for single and unattached, simple and uncomplicated. She never went for someone who could so easily get attached or someone she could so easily get attached to.

Alicia replayed the kiss in her mind as confusion and amazement crippled her thinking. Chris’s lips were so gentle. She’d never tasted anything softer, and the silkiness of Chris’s tongue in her mouth had literally sent thrills of a new type of pleasure all through her.

Chris’s mouth was filled with such enticing secrets, secrets that Alicia knew better than to bring to light. She wanted to deny the sensations of arousal that still reverberated through her body, making that single sensitive spot ache with surprising need, but she knew she couldn’t because they were as alive and as real as the electricity that thrived within her.

But how could she possibly enjoy kissing a woman so much? How could a single kiss send such shivers of arousal through her body?

Her primal reaction had to be the result of having been deprived of her physical needs for so long that just kissing someone, anyone, made so much feeling come alive in her. She made herself believe that Chris’s attention towards her was what intrigued her so much.

Her attention, her interest, her utmost belief in her and everything else she was that Alicia had never found in a friend—that was what intrigued her. It couldn’t be anything else. Intrigue could drive people to do strange things. Like kiss another woman.

But why did Chris kiss her back with such similar need? Why did she look at her with so much interest? Why did she touch her with so much tenderness? Why had she asked earlier if Jason had ever made her heart beat so fast?

As Alicia asked the questions, one by one, she realized the answer as she recalled the events of that night at the bar. Chris had turned down every man who had asked her to dance. She had not even shown the slightest interest. The fear of acknowledging it made her hands, which had never known sweat, perspire.

“I can see the questions in your eyes,” Chris said and Alicia was afraid to ask.

She felt like she was invading Chris’s privacy, and Alicia wasn’t the sort to do that. If she had any questions, she decided to keep them to herself.

“Thank you, for bringing me here,” she said, instead, and tried hard to ignore the unanswered questions that floated on the surface.

They stayed there a while longer, each lost in her own thoughts, but the silence was accompanied by the background music created by the waterfall, which made it feel comfortable and serene.

Chapter 5

“Chris?”

She heard Drew’s voice and remembered she’d been supposed to meet the young man who had asked her out. “Hey, sorry I’m late. I had to pass by the office, and I got caught up.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No, everything’s fine.”

“Porter is waiting in the living room. Remember that I like him when you go in there.”

“You met him in a bar.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Chris put down the things she was carrying and went to the living room with Drew right behind her. “Porter?” she said when she found him seated on the couch. “Hi, I’m Chris, Drew’s sister.”

She studied him and wondered how old he was. He appeared nervous and overwhelmed, which was a reaction Chris was used to from men.

His voice was a little squeaky, but he was polite enough to stand and extend a warm handshake. “It’s uh, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said.

“Tell me about yourself.” Chris sat down across from him and Drew joined her.

“I’m twenty-four, and I work in my father’s garage. I know I’m a stranger to you right now, but if you give me a chance, I’d really like to get to know Drew. She’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever met.” He said the last line directly to Drew, and Chris decided he was worth the chance because he appreciated her sister.

“Where will you be taking her tonight?”

“We’ll go watch a movie, and have dinner, and I’ll bring her home directly from there.”

“Excuse us a minute.” Satisfied with his answers, Chris got to her feet and walked out of the room with Drew close behind her.

“Do you like this guy?” she asked Drew.

“Yeah, he’s nice.”

He was, but Chris knew he was just like everyone else in Cresswell Falls.

“You can go out with him, but I want you to be careful about what you say, at least until you know you can trust him.”

“I will.”

“Okay, go have fun,” Chris said, and Drew gave her a quick hug.

She went to her father’s study and found Alan there. “Hey, Dad.” She sat on the large comfortable couch some distance away from his desk.

“Hey, honey, is something wrong?”

Drew had asked her that same question. Could everybody see that there was something bothering her? Was she that transparent?

“No. I need to talk to you.” She looked at her father’s warm expression. “What?” she asked when he smiled at her.

“It’s just good to have you home.”

Touched by his words, she said, “Thanks, Dad.”

He looked at her awhile longer then asked, “What do you need to talk to me about?”

She wondered whether she should start with her new business venture or Alicia’s father and decided to go with the latter.

“I know you and Raymond Mathews were best friends.” Before she could proceed, her father got to his feet and said, “That man is no friend of mine!” He said it so firmly that it startled her.

“But... I thought you were all friends a long time ago.”

“That friendship died.”

Maybe she should have started with the business venture. “Okay, I don’t know what happened between you two. All I know is Ellen said you used to be friends and she was married to him. They have a daughter, Alicia. Do you know her?”

His expression relaxed a little as he nodded.

“She wanted me to find out if you knew anything about where he might be.” She failed to understand his resentment towards Raymond. Ellen had specifically stated they had been the best of friends even before they met Ellen and Miranda.

“I don’t know where he is,” her father said as though putting an end to the whole discussion.

“Daddy, what happened between you two?” Chris got to her feet and walked over to him.

His shoulders were tense, and there was a look of contempt in his eyes that she’d never seen before.

“Dad, whatever it is, I can handle it. I’m not a little girl anymore,” she said when she saw the apprehension in his face.

“I don’t think you’re ready for this,” Alan said, but her curiosity only grew.

“Alicia is a good friend of mine,” she said. “She hasn’t heard from him in years. Her mother won’t talk about him, and all she wants to know is what happened to him. If it has anything to do with him leaving Cresswell Falls, Dad, I need to know.”

He walked away from her, as though troubled by the discussion. “He loved her very much. That’s all she needs to know.” His evasiveness made her wonder what he wasn’t saying.

“What did he do that was so bad and unforgivable?”

Alan looked at her as though debating whether or not he should tell her. Then his words came, sharp and short. “He slept with your mother.”

Chris thought she’d heard him wrong. “He did what?”

“Several years after you were born, your mother had an affair with him. During one of our fights, she admitted it out of spite, in order to hurt me. When I confronted Ray, he didn’t deny it. He’s the reason I divorced your mother.”

Raymond and Miranda? Alicia’s father and her own mother? The very thought repulsed her. She understood her father’s resentment towards the man, but Ellen had barely shown any negative emotion towards Raymond or Miranda when she’d been recounting their childhood adventures.

“Does Ellen know?”

He nodded and Chris went silent for a moment, wondering if the affair had anything to do with Raymond’s disappearance. “Did Ellen leave him after she found out what happened?”

“After he told me, he confessed the truth to her and they separated. When your mother left, Raymond followed her. I don’t know how long they lasted together, but he never came back to Cresswell Falls.”

The information had more depth than Chris had anticipated. Was he saying there had been a time when Raymond, Alicia’s father, had been with Miranda when she’d been growing up?

“You were too young, you wouldn’t remember.”

Miranda and her reputation!

“The gossip was all over town. Everyone was talking about it. When your mother couldn’t handle it, she took off. Since your grandfather was a successful architect, he gave her all the financial support she needed.”

“I can’t believe it. My mom and Alicia’s dad?” She wondered how Alicia would take the news and whether she should tell her at all.

She understood her father’s bitterness. When she’d mentioned Ellen to her mother over the phone, her mother had barely even reacted. Did she really feel no remorse after the damage she’d caused?

Chris had seen firsthand what her mother could do, so she didn’t know why she was surprised to learn that little bit of information.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” she said.

She left his study and headed to her bedroom.

* * *

Chris pressed the doorbell and waited, not sure what she would say if Alicia asked about her father. She’d gotten a number of people who were interested in seeing the house and wanted to confirm how long it would take for Alicia to move out.

“Christina, how are you?” Jennifer asked when she opened the door.

“I’m fine, thank you. How are you?” she asked as Jennifer welcomed her into the house.

“I’m fine. I can’t believe you managed to help Alicia get an apartment so soon. She won’t stop talking about how amazing it is.”

“I’m just glad she liked it.” Chris looked at the large boxes in the living room.

“We’re helping her pack.”

“Chris.” Alicia walked into the room with a tall, athletic, good-looking man behind her. “This is Tony Simmons. He’s a good friend of the family.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Tony said.

“Tony, this is Christina Brewster. She’s my realtor,” Alicia said and smiled with Chris at the last bit of the introduction.

They shook hands. “It’s nice to meet you, too,” Chris said. He was looking at her in the same manner every other man did.

“The moving truck will be here in a couple of hours, why don’t you guys continue packing while I talk to Chris?” Alicia said. She led Chris to her office so they could have some privacy.

“I wanted to tell you we have a number of people who are interested in viewing the house.”

“That’s great,” Alicia said. “My mom will be ecstatic. She says the house has some bad memories for her, which is weird considering she’s never lived here. She can’t wait for us to move out, though she was a little disappointed to learn we’re not moving in with her.”

“I guess I’m partly to blame for that.”

“No, not at all.”

Alicia looked happier than Chris had ever seen her, so maybe the move was a good thing for her. “Speaking of which, where is Ellen?”

“Upstairs, helping Robbie pack.”

“Did you tell Jason?”

“No, I haven’t been able to get in touch with him.”

“How is Robbie taking it?”

“He’s really excited. He can’t wait to see his new room.”

“That’s good. I’m glad things are starting to go well for you.”

Alicia nodded. “Were you able to talk to your dad about my father?”

Chris dreaded the question and dreaded the answer even more. She knew her tone showed it. “Yes.”

“It’s okay. I had prepared myself for anything,” Alicia said.

“I think your mother doesn’t talk about it because it hurts too much. When I asked my dad, he got pretty upset and for a moment I thought he wouldn’t tell me.” Chris walked over to Alicia.

“Raymond and my mother...” She saw the expectation in Alicia’s eyes and stopped.

“Please, just tell me.”

“Alicia, they had an affair. My father divorced my mother when he found out about it, and my mom...” She paused, not sure she could repeat what her father had told her.

“Your mom what?”

Chris closed her eyes and recalled her own reaction to the news. “My mom ran out of town, and your dad followed her.”

She imagined the surprise across Alicia’s face resembled her own when she’d found out. “After he left, he never came back.”

Alicia’s expectation of finding her father was now gone, completely crushed, and Chris felt bad because she’d taken away her hope. She couldn’t imagine what it was like to grow up without a father. Alan had done everything in his power to bridge the distance and make sure Chris never felt his absence.

“Alicia, I didn’t want to tell you this,” Chris said, gently taking Alicia in her arms when tears fell down her cheeks.

“I needed to know.” Alicia wrapped her arms around Chris. “I guess now I understand why mom never talks about him.”

“It must be hard for her. Dad didn’t take it well when I brought up the subject.”

“I’m sorry I made you do that.”

“No, don’t be. I learned something new about my mother,” Chris said, displeased by her mother’s heartless actions. If she’d betrayed her own daughter, she could just as easily betray her husband and her best friend.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

They heard Tony’s voice from the door and pulled apart. Alicia quickly wiped away her tears as Tony went to her side.

“Did something happen?” he asked in a concerned tone.

Chris wondered whether there was something going on between the two when she saw how protectively he slipped his arms around Alicia and how willingly she obliged him.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Alicia said.

Tony wiped away the remaining tears and pecked her forehead. “Alicia, you’re crying. Something must be wrong.”

Chris turned to leave, thinking they needed the privacy, but Alicia stopped her.

“Chris was just telling me something I sent her to find out about my dad.”

He looked at Chris who forced a smile across her face through the discomfort.

“Did she find out something bad?” he asked.

Alicia, as though sensing Chris’s discomfort asked, “Can we talk about it later? I don’t really want to get into it right now.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, and Alicia pulled away.

“I’m going to see if I can help out,” Chris said and walked out.

When she found Jennifer alone, she wondered if she should have stayed in Alicia’s office. “Do you live around here?” she asked Jennifer.

“No, my home’s a bit farther away. Alicia and I were high school best friends. After she got married to Jason, she started traveling with him, so we drifted apart for a few years until she came back when she got pregnant with Robbie.” Jennifer went on to tell Chris about how Jason had constantly cheated on Alicia.

“Do you have a job?” Chris asked in an attempt to divert the topic to something else.

“I work as a cashier at the bank. I’ve seen your father there several times. Speaking of which, where have you been all these years? Most people in this town heard about you, but no one really got to see you. Everyone’s wondering about that.” When she fell silent, Chris realized she was waiting for answers as though she owed them to her.

“About why they never got to see me?” she asked.

“Uh-huh. And where you’ve been.”

Chris recalled Alicia saying Ellen was upstairs with Robbie, and she decided to avoid answering. “I’ll go see if Ellen and Robbie need some help.” She disappeared before Jennifer could stop her.

She was met by more boxes and could hear Ellen and Robbie talking. She remembered Robbie’s bedroom and headed there.

“Hey, guys,” she said from the door, and Ellen got up and affectionately hugged her. “You need some help?” Chris offered, hugging her back.

“Yes. Robbie has more things in his room than I have in my entire house,” Ellen said, and Chris playfully ruffled his hair.

“You two carry on while I go get myself something to drink,” Ellen said and headed out.

“Do you play with all these toys?” Chris asked.

Robbie held up a basketball as he said, “My dad gives them to me whenever he doesn’t show up for something important.”

The boy’s honesty surprised her. “I’m sure he usually wants to be there.”

“That’s what he says, but it happens a lot.”

She couldn’t argue with that.

“Uncle Tony’s always there. I wish he was my dad. My mom and I like him a lot.”

“He must be a great guy for you to want him as your dad.”

“My real dad loves baseball more than he loves us. But Tony loves us more than he loves anything else.” Robbie got up and walked over to his closet. “I tried to learn how to skate after Dad got me this skateboard, but I kept on falling.”

Chris continued putting his toys in the boxes. “Would you like me to teach you how to do it?”

Robbie raised his eyebrows. “You know how to skate?”

Chris laughed. “Of course I do. Why does that surprise you?”

“I’ve never met a girl who could skate before.”

“I’m glad I’m the first. Tell you what, after you move to your new house, I’ll come by and give you some lessons. What do you say?”

His joy and excitement were visible on his young face. “Yes, I’d like that.”

Alicia walked into the room.

“Mom, guess what?”

“What?”

“Chris is going to show me how to skateboard.”

Alicia met Chris’s smile with her own and laughed. “She is?”

“Isn’t it cool?”

“It’s very cool.”

“I’m going to tell Tony.” He scurried out of the room.

“He has a lot of energy,” Chris said as Alicia began to help her gather the toys.

“Do you really know how to skateboard?”

“When I was fourteen, I was crowned champion.”

Alicia looked at her in amazement. “You were?”

“Yeah, I was the most popular girl in school for being the best at skateboarding,” Chris proudly said. “Let me guess, you were the head cheerleader who dated the school jock.”

Alicia nodded.

“And Jennifer was one of your minions?”

“I wouldn’t call her that. She was a fellow cheerleader.”

“Who never outgrew hanging out with the head cheerleader?”

Alicia nodded, and they both started laughing.

“And who was Tony?” Chris asked.

“He was Jason’s best friend.”

“Was he a jock, too?”

“Yeah, we all used to hang out together. He had an accident and injured his arm, so he couldn’t play professionally.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“We’re over it. He seems content with his life right now.”

Chris doubted that. His deep concern for Alicia told her something else. “Robbie’s very taken by him.”

“Yeah, he’s been really good to us. He’s played the role Jason failed to play in Robbie’s life.”

“And your life?” she asked and immediately wished she could take it back.

The question brought a little silence and awkwardness, but Alicia said, “He’s been a wonderful friend.”

Chris could tell that Alicia wasn’t aware of Tony’s feelings for her. What was even more evident was how she was unaware of her own feelings towards him.

“Have you ever considered being more than just friends with him?” Chris asked, trying to provoke a reaction that could convince her otherwise.

“What?” Alicia said, but Chris saw what she’d expected to see.

“He’s a great looking guy, and it’s obvious he cares for you and adores Robbie just as Robbie adores him. You want to tell me you’ve never thought about it?”

Alicia turned away, and Chris could tell that she had.

“Has anything ever happened between you?” Chris asked but was met by silence. “Robbie says Tony’s always been there, and I find it hard to believe that nothing has ever happened.”

She knew how to get people comfortable enough to talk about something they found hard to approach.

“I’m not Jennifer, Alicia. I won’t go around telling the whole town that you have feelings for Tony.”

“I don’t have feelings for Tony.”

Chris didn’t believe her. “But something has happened between you.”

“It was just one kiss, and it was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened.” She sounded guilty as she said the words. It only took Chris a second to realize that she felt like she’d cheated on Jason.

“Hey, it’s okay.” She moved closer to Alicia and placed her hand on her shoulder.

“After I found out about Jason’s affairs, I went to see Tony. I didn’t know who else I could talk to. I felt so stupid for having believed in Jason. I just needed a friend. Tony listened to me, held me, and comforted me, and then it happened. I had a lot going on, so I panicked and ran off. We talked about it the following day, both admitted it was a mistake, and it never happened again.”

“Alicia, maybe it wasn’t a mistake. Perhaps it wasn’t the best timing, considering everything you were going through, but that’s all over now and at some point you’ll have to move on.” Chris didn’t know why she was encouraging Alicia, but she felt like she had to. Alicia was likely to deny herself her own happiness.

“We’re friends. We don’t see each other like that,” Alicia said as she got to her feet.

“Don’t you?” Chris asked, in an attempt to open her eyes.

“Jason accused us of having an affair, and I don’t want him to think he was right.”

“Jason? You still care about what he thinks? Alicia, the moment you signed those divorce papers, you relinquished any power he may have had over you. I just met Tony, and it’s obvious he feels something for you. I think it’s time you started putting your own happiness first.”

Alicia looked at her in uncertainty. “I don’t know if I want to risk losing our friendship over something we may or may not feel for each other. He’s wonderful to Robbie, and his presence in his life is very important to me.”

“I’m just suggesting you think about it. You might surprise yourself. Besides, Robbie wishes Tony was his dad.”

“He said that?”

“Yes. Give yourself a chance to be happy.” In an attempt to lighten the serious turn the conversation had taken, she said, “For future reference, please don’t ever leave me alone in a room with Jennifer.” As she’d hoped, Alicia started laughing.

“She has some good qualities.”

“I’m sure she does, otherwise I would really wonder why you’d keep her as a friend for this long. How come you’re not like the rest of the people in this town?”

“You mean how come I don’t gossip?” Alicia asked.

“Well, since you put it that way, yeah, how come?”

“Having been the victim of gossip for so long puts me in my own corner. I guess when you know the extent of the hurt and damage gossip can cause a person, it makes it hard for you to play along with the people who are responsible. If my whole life wasn’t here, I think I would have moved a long time ago.”

That statement prompted Chris to think about her mother. She’d been driven away by the gossip, but then again, she’d brought it upon herself.

“How do you do that?” Alicia asked.

Chris looked at her in confusion. “Do what?”

“Make it so easy for me to talk to you. We’ve known each other for such a short period of time, and I’ve confided in you more than I’ve ever dared to with Jennifer, and I’ve known her all my life.”

“I’m new in town. In a couple of months, you’ll probably get used to me and get bored.”

“I highly doubt that.”

Chris smiled at her and continued helping her until the moving truck came. After it made three trips back and forth, the house was empty.

Chapter 6

 “How do you think he’ll take it when I tell him?”

“Honey, you don’t know your father at all, do you?”

Chris looked at Rosa in bewilderment. She’d just confessed everything from how she did not want to work in real estate to how she wanted to start a business with Alicia.

“For years, all he could talk about was how much he wanted to be close to you and how much he resented the distance. Having you work at the company is his way of keeping you around him,” Rosa explained.

“I don’t understand,” she said.

“After you turned eighteen, you went to university to further your studies while you worked part time as a runway model. Then you decided to do it full time, which made it almost impossible for Alan to see you since you were always traveling. When you retired, he got his chance and asked you to come back to Cresswell Falls. He gave you the job as a way to keep you around. Don’t you see how happy he is with all of us together as a family?”

“I guess I never really thought about that.” Now that Rosa had pointed it out, Chris could see a change in him.

“If you want to do something else with your life, he’ll support you. He just wishes he could spend more time with you, that’s all.”

“Since I’ve decided that I’ll be working from here, we’ll have plenty of time to be together.”

“Good. Now you don’t have to worry about letting him down. He’s always been proud of you. We all are.”

Chris hugged Rosa and pulled away when Drew walked in.

“What’s going on?” Drew asked. Chris got up and pulled her over to the couch where she was seated with Rosa.

“Nothing’s going on. Have you told your mom about this boy you’re dating?”

“You’re dating?” Rosa asked.

“He’s not a boy and, Chris, thanks a lot.” Drew gave Chris a look.

“What? Was I not supposed to find out?” Rosa asked and Chris chuckled.

“No,” Drew bluntly said.

“Why not?” Rosa asked.

“Because, Mom, you get so protective and then you want to meet him and ask him over for dinner and then Dad will meet him and then it’ll get complicated because Porter will think we’re serious and then it’ll blow up in my face.”

Chris laughed, knowing everything she said was true.

“What? I don’t do that. Do I?” Rosa asked Chris, who nodded her head.

“Yes, you do, Mom,” Drew said. “Chris already met him, and she’s okay with him, so you don’t have to worry.”

Rosa gave Chris a concerned look.

“He’s a nice boy and his intentions with Drew are good,” Chris assured Rosa.

“What boy?” Alan asked from the door. “Is Drew seeing a boy? Do I know his family? Where does he work?”

Drew exhaled as she dramatically threw her hands in the air, and Chris started laughing.

“Alan, sweetheart, our daughter is accusing us of being too overprotective, and she wishes that we stay out of this particular relationship.” Rosa got up and welcomed him with a light kiss.

“The boy’s a good kid,” Chris told him.

“He’s not a boy,” Drew said.

“How old is he? Can we meet him?” Alan asked.

“His name is Porter, he’s twenty-four, and no, you can’t meet him.” Drew got up and left the room.

Rosa went after her, and Chris said to Alan, “She’s just having fun. When she meets the boy she wants to spend the rest of her life with, she’ll bring him over here for you to meet him. Right now, let her live her life. She’s young.”

Alan relaxed. “Just keep an eye on her.”

“You know I always do.”

He went to pour himself a drink, and Chris said, “I’ve decided what I want to do with the rest of my life.”

Alan turned his attention to her. “So soon?” he asked.

“I like working at the company. It’s great and I’ve met a lot of people and gained some experience. I managed to sell an apartment, and I’m about to sell a four-bedroom house.” She smiled, feeling very good about herself.

“When are you leaving?” Alan asked, and Chris saw signs of what Rosa had been telling her.

“Dad, I’m not leaving,” she said, and his face lit with joy.

“You’re not?”

“No.”

“Oh, I am so happy.” He hugged her. “Tell me what you want to do.”

He sat down, and she explained everything. When she was done, he was so happy that he offered to help her out in whatever way he could. Chris was glad he met her news with so much love and support.

“The only thing I want is to find a large empty space that we can use for the business,” she said, and he was more than happy to suggest several spaces he owned that she could use.

“I’ll take a look at them, and Alicia and I will choose the one we like best.”

They talked awhile longer as she explained the business in detail, and even though she knew he didn’t understand the fashion world or how it worked, she was pleased to see his keen interest in her life.

* * *

“Alicia, the place looks beautiful,” Tony said.

Yes, Alicia thought. The apartment was breathtaking, the neighbors were friendly, and Robbie had fully adjusted to his new home.

“Thanks.” She welcomed him to a seat and went to the kitchen to get him something to drink.

When she got back, he was standing near the window looking outside where the playground was in plain view. Although it was some distance, Robbie could be seen playing with the rest of the kids.

“Here.” She handed him a bottle of beer.

“Robbie looks very happy.”

“Yeah, he does.” Alicia thought of Chris and how grateful she was to her for having found them that apartment. They had only been there a week, and Robbie was happier than Alicia had seen him in a long time.

“Does he ask about Jason?”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Has Jason tried to contact you since that day he came over to the house?”

She shook her head.

“Good. At least he’s not causing you any more problems.”

She nodded.

“I guess I should get going. I wanted to see how you and Robbie were doing.”

“Why don’t you stay for dinner?” she asked.

“I’d love to.”

Alicia hoped she was making the right choice in following Chris’s advice.

“Can I help?” Tony offered and Alicia nodded as he followed her to the kitchen.

Tony was dating, but Alicia knew it was nothing serious, because once in a while they talked about it. She was nervous about how things would play out if they got involved.

She had an advantage with Tony. They knew and understood each other, so he wasn’t going to pressure her into anything she wasn’t prepared for. He was mature and responsible and wasn’t the type to go around humiliating her as Jason had done.

He spent two hours in the kitchen helping her make dinner as they talked with the ease that had always been in their relationship.

When they were done, he went outside to get Robbie, helped him clean up, and they all sat at the table.

Robbie happily gave a report of how his day had been, not failing to mention how much he was enjoying being in a neighborhood with kids he could play with. When dinner was over, he went to his bedroom.

Tony helped Alicia clean up, and she went and tucked Robbie in for the night.

After she returned, he said, “Thanks for asking me to stay for dinner.”

“I should be the one thanking you. You’ve done so much for me and for Robbie.”

He shook his head and said, “No, don’t thank me for that. I’m honored to be in both your lives. You know how much he means to me.”

She did, not only because he’d been around all those years, but also because she saw how he was with Robbie.

“You seem to be growing pretty close to Chris,” Tony remarked, which roused her attention.

“I feel like I can be myself around her, the way I am with you. She’s different from the rest of the people in this town.” Alicia slightly surprised herself by making such a comparison.

“I guess it’s because she wasn’t raised here,” Tony said, then asked, “Jennifer isn’t jealous of your friendship?”

“I don’t know. I’m ashamed to admit this, but a part of me shuts down when she’s talking, especially when she starts talking about other people.”

He laughed and said, “You’re special, Alicia. It’s a shame Jason never saw that or appreciated it.”

His remark came with respect and feeling, which she responded to by saying, “I guess there are a few of us who decided to grow up different. My mom always says I should have married you instead of Jason, and sometimes I think she was right.”

She realized what she had said after the words were out and it was too late to take them back. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

Tony was looking at her with a soft seriousness. “Perhaps I should have proposed before he did.”

Alicia wasn’t sure where that conversation would lead them, but she played along. “Perhaps you should have.” Even though it was harmless flirting, she knew there was more to it than she dared show.

“I should get going. I have an early start tomorrow.” Tony suddenly got up, and Alicia, not sure there was anything she could do to stop him, nodded and followed as he headed to the door.

“Thanks again for dinner.” He opened the door and walked outside.

“You’re welcome.” Alicia waited for him to leave so she could close the door, but she was caught off guard when he leaned close and placed a kiss on her lips.

He lingered there for a moment longer, and Alicia, expecting to feel fireworks and magic, thrill and excitement, yearning and longing, kissed him back, letting his lips explore hers.

He was gentle and the kiss was sweet, but everything she’d expected to feel was lacking. She deepened the kiss, telling herself she wasn’t giving him enough of a chance, and Tony held her closer.

When they broke apart, he ran his fingers softly over her face and then pecked her lips. Slowly, he let his hand drop and walked away.

Alicia closed the door and leaned against it, confused by her body’s lack of reaction and feeling towards his kiss. Where was that fire? That need? That desperate longing? Where was everything she’d felt when Chris had kissed her? She couldn’t understand it.

She should have felt something for Tony. He was such a wonderful man. He cared deeply for her, and she cared for him in return, so where was that passion she’d thought would ignite at their kiss? She wondered about it as she turned off the lights and went to her bedroom.

* * *

“Before we start, you need to learn how to stand on your skateboard,” Chris told Robbie. She had made sure he was wearing pads and a helmet to protect him from getting hurt if and when he fell.

“You can stand with your left foot at the front while your right foot is on the tail.” She stood on her own skateboard to show him. He tried to mimic her but couldn’t stay on.

“Or, you can stand with your right foot at the front while your left foot is on the tail. You have to choose whichever you’re most comfortable with.”

He stood with his right foot on the front and managed to hold the stance. Alicia, who was watching from a distance, started applauding.

“Very good. You’re doing great,” Chris said. “Now, I want you to try pushing yourself with your left leg and don’t worry about falling.” She pushed herself on the skateboard, moving in circles around him.

Encouraged by how easy it appeared, Robbie pushed himself but failed to return the left leg onto the tail of the board once he was moving.

Chris could see he was afraid of falling and tried to take away that fear by showing how easy it was to lift up the left leg and place it on the board.

Robbie attempted it and on the second trial, he succeeded, but he fell off the board almost as soon as he’d managed to ride it. But he kept on trying.

Once he learned how to stand on the skateboard and move on it without falling so often or sliding off, Chris took her skateboard and went to sit beside Alicia.

“He’s a quick learner,” Chris said, applauding him whenever he moved far without falling.

“Hey, listen,” she said. “I talked to Dad. He’s going to take care of selling your house. He has several properties we could use for our business that I want us to take a look at. Since we’re both now settled, I think we should start working on this.”

“I can’t wait. I’m so excited,” Alicia said.

“You should be. This is a huge deal.”

“When do you want us to go?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Alicia said.

Chris got up and rode her skateboard back to Robbie. “You want to learn some cool tricks?” she asked and he nodded in excitement.

“This trick is called the ollie. You place your front foot in the middle of the skateboard, with your back foot on the very back end of it. Stand with your weight on your toes.” She illustrated on her skateboard as she explained. “Push down hard on the back end of the skateboard. As soon as the front end comes up, slide your front foot up towards the top end of the skateboard and then push down on the front end. As you do this, bend your legs so the board will be free to come up, making your ollie higher. This will bring the back end up off the ground, lifting the board higher into the air. Keep your feet resting on the board and bend your legs as you make your landing.”

She illustrated the whole trick, making it look easy even though it was a bit difficult to master. Robbie watched in awe.

“Cool! I want to try it,” he said.

Chris showed him slowly, step-by-step, until he got the hang of it.

“You’re so good at this,” Alicia said when Chris sat back down.

“I’m a bit rusty. I haven’t skated in years, but it’s not hard. It’s like when you learn to ride a bike then go years without doing it. When you start again, you still know how to ride it.”

She continued training Robbie, and when the lesson for the day was done, she told him to keep on practicing.

“I’ll teach you how to kick flip, heel flip, board slide, and many other tricks,” she said.

* * *

After looking around at several of the locations Alan had suggested, Chris parked her car in the center of town.

People were busy running their businesses, and Chris liked how much the town had developed since the last time she’d been here.

“If we like this one, would you mind working around a place that has so many people?” she asked Alicia while they got out of the car.

The townsfolk stared at them as they made their way to the Brewster property.

“No, this isn’t about them. It’s about me finally making something of myself,” Alicia said.

Chris liked this particular location. It was at the business center of Cresswell Falls, and it wasn’t very far from either her house or Alicia’s apartment.

When she unlocked the doors, they walked in to what had been a warehouse. It was spacious with plenty of room for equipment, a desk, the staff they hoped to hire, and some extra space for an office.

Though it needed a lot of work, like cleaning and renovating according to their needs, Chris thought it was perfect.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“I think we found what we were looking for,” Alicia said.

“Great! Very soon magazines will be talking about Alicia Sanders’ creations, speaking of which, would you like to use Sanders and Brewster or Mathews and Brewster?”

“Alicia Mathews’ creations, Mathews and Brewster,” she said and Chris proudly looked at her.

“You’re leaving that life behind.”

“I can’t believe we’re actually going to do this.”

“Are you scared?” Chris walked over to her.

“I am.” Alicia looked around the warehouse. “But I’m excited scared.”

“Just never forget that you’re not doing this alone.” Chris wrapped her arms around Alicia.

It was a soft comforting feeling, amazing in nature and alarmingly calming, how Chris’s arms could provide her with so much serenity. Did it mean she was changing and everything inside her was adjusting to the change? Never once in Alicia’s life had a woman ever driven such feelings through her.

When she pulled away, she recalled her kiss with Tony and how empty it had felt in comparison to her kiss with Chris. It still confused her, and the more she thought about it, the more it bothered her.

Maybe it had felt so powerful with Chris because it felt so wonderful being around someone who understood her. They had a lot in common: their love for fashion, their shared courtesy for discretion, and their parents’ history. There was a lot tying them together.

With Tony, there was a deep bond of friendship, his devotion to her and Robbie, the sense of security and safety his presence provided, and his protective nature when it came to Jason. Plus, he was a man. A handsome, athletic, softhearted man who cared about her.

Those things should have been enough to supercharge her heart, but they only left her more unsettled.

While Tony made her feel safe and cared for, Chris made her feel alive with longing; while he offered reassurance and so many other wonderful things, Chris inspired her to open up her own business and move forward with her life.

“Alicia?”

When Chris reached for her hand and turned her around, Alicia realized how far away she’d been.

Chris’s hand was soft on hers and her voice was even softer. Chris gazed into her eyes, and again Alicia felt like her very soul was exposed.

Alicia pulled away her hand, breaking the physical contact, but the tenderness in Chris’s eyes made her feel like she was still touching her by caressing her soul with her sight.

Suddenly, Alicia felt bothered and wanted to get out and get some air, but the easy smile that rose on Chris’s lips calmed her. She couldn’t understand how such effortless expressions could have so much power over her.

“What were you thinking about?” Chris asked. Alicia closed her eyes, trying to think of something to say. “I was just… imagining how amazing it’ll feel once everything comes together.” She managed to get the words out, but she couldn’t tear her gaze away from Chris.

“Yeah, it will be amazing,” Chris said. “Did you try to explore your feelings for Tony?”

The question got Alicia focused on Tony, and the agitation that had been growing within her minimized. “Uh, yeah, we had dinner a few nights ago.”

“How did it go?”

Alicia’s thoughts went straight to the kiss. “It was fine, though it wasn’t what I expected.”

“What happened?”

Alicia wasn’t the kiss-and-tell type of person, but for some reason, confiding in Chris didn’t make her even slightly uncomfortable.

“We had dinner and we flirted a little.” She smiled when she remembered what she’d said. “And when he was leaving, he kissed me.”

“Did you like it?”

Alicia turned and took a few steps away from Chris. “It was fine,” she said. Her heartbeat increased pace at the statement, because her kisses with Chris weren’t just fine, they were earth-shattering.

“I feel like you know me,” Alicia said, “and that makes it easy for me to trust you, which is why I would like to ask you something.” Alicia didn’t know what she was doing or even what she was expecting. It terrified her to even consider asking the question, but the person with the answers she needed was standing right in front of her.

“Do you think I should pursue whatever it is that is between me and Tony? Do you think I should pursue it even though I’m thinking about someone else?” Her voice shook as she voiced her question, and her hands trembled. She turned to face Chris and waited for her verdict on the matter.

Chris took awhile to answer. She just stood there as though in deep thought. When she finally spoke, Alicia realized she had been holding her breath.

“I think you should give Tony a chance.”

Alicia looked at Chris for a moment longer than she should have and decided it was for the best. She didn’t even know what she’d expected to get from her question.

“Okay,” she said and, brushing off the topic, turned her attention to the warehouse. “Now that we have what we wanted, what’s next?” she asked.

“I’ll talk to Brewster’s contractor,” Chris said. “He’ll redesign this space in whatever way we want, so we should sit down somewhere and discuss that. Within a couple of days, we should be set and ready to start.”

They left together and went to a restaurant not far from the warehouse, where they discussed the details that needed attention.

During the discussion, Chris found herself drifting off to their earlier conversation back at the warehouse. She questioned the answer she had offered Alicia, but reminded herself she was going into business with the beautiful woman.

Her feelings, whatever they were, needed to be set aside. That was why she was encouraging Alicia to be with Tony. She didn’t like it, but her feelings, again, didn’t count.

It had always been easy for her to have her way with women, and she had never been afraid to express herself, but there was something alarming about being with Alicia. The woman left her completely mesmerized.

When asked that question, Chris had been aware that Alicia had been talking about her. The question had been Alicia’s way of giving her power over the outcome of their relationship, business or otherwise.

On the one hand, Chris was deeply attracted to Alicia and would have given anything to explore that attraction, but on the other hand, Alicia was a single mother and a business partner.

If things failed to work out between them, it would probably mean the end of their business and perhaps even their friendship. So to protect that relationship and to prevent them both from falling into something neither one of them was ready for, she had offered the only sensible answer she could.

Chapter 7

 “Is something wrong?” Miranda asked on the phone. She’d been talking on and on for ten minutes while Chris silently listened.

“No, Mom. Are you still in Athens?” Chris tried hard to sound jovial.

After she’d learned of her mother’s cruel infidelity, a dark feeling she hadn’t experienced in a long time had come back.

“No, I’m in Barcelona. I got here a week ago and met a handsome gentleman named Pablo.”

Of course, what had she expected? She couldn’t begin to count the number of men her mother had been with. It was still hard to comprehend that one of them was Alicia’s father.

“Chris, honey, are you sure everything’s fine?”

Chris was silent for a while but then said, “Everything’s perfect. I have to go. Enjoy Spain.” She hung up.

After a moment of staring into space, she called her agent, Andrew Fox. He picked up the phone on the second ring and sounded as energetic as always.

“Christina, baby, where have you been? Did you get my messages? I got in touch with your mother after you disappeared, and she said you’d gone back home. Hey, listen, we can revive your career, it doesn’t have to be over.”

“Andrew, listen. I don’t want to walk the runway anymore.”

“You ended it so abruptly. I have designers who won’t stop asking about you. Let’s throw a party and call it your return to the runway. Huh? How does that sound? I can get you photo shoots, interviews, and anything else you wish.”

“Andrew, that’s why I’m calling,” she said and he went silent. “I am coming back,” she announced and heard his exclamation of joy over the phone.

“Yes! That’s wonderful news. I can’t wait to tell everybody.”

“I’m coming back to the fashion world but not as a model.”

“What? What do you mean?”

She explained her business venture. Once the business took off, she said, she wanted him to set her up for an interview to explain her reasons why she had quit the runway. It was the perfect opportunity to introduce Alicia’s designs to the world.

“Setting up an interview will be easy,” Andrew said after he’d heard everything, but he had sounded apprehensive towards her business venture.

“Great, I’ll tell you when.” After talking with him awhile longer, she hung up.

The warehouse was being redesigned, and she was supervising it with Alicia. It had been a week since they had started out, and they both hoped that within the second week their workspace would be complete so they could begin.

* * *

Alicia had explained the business to her mother, to Robbie, and to Tony, and they all thought it was a wonderful idea. Their support was encouraging, and their belief in her ability to be successful fuelled her drive.

She loved how well the warehouse was taking shape and couldn’t stop smiling at the idea of their business every time she thought about it.

She assumed Jason had gone back to tour with the Black Panthers since she’d not heard from him in a long time. She was relieved that everything was going according to plan.

Jennifer, her conspicuous and ever-present friend, told a few people about the business, and within a few days, the whole town was aware and talking about it.

Chris told Alicia that any publicity was good publicity when it came to business, and even though it was a bit unnerving having so much attention, Alicia stayed optimistic. For the first time in a long while, she felt like everything was going to be okay.

She gave Tony a chance and went out with him on a couple of dates. During those times, she couldn’t conceal her excitement and kept talking about the business and Chris. She didn’t notice how much she talked about Chris until Tony brought it to her attention.

“We talked about hiring a secretary, and Chris suggested we hire Jennifer to make the business have a more familiar feel so I wouldn’t feel pressured or uncomfortable,” she was saying, thinking about how much character it took for Chris to do that. She didn’t even like Jennifer because the woman couldn’t keep anything to herself.

“Alicia,” Tony said, “since we started going out, most of our conversations focus on Chris and your business. Tonight I thought we could talk about something else.”

She was embarrassed that she’d never really noticed it, but it made her a little more self-conscious. “I’m sorry, I get carried away when I start talking about it.”

They were in a romantic little restaurant called Paradise and were seated across from each other having dinner.

“I love hearing about it, you know that, but tonight...” His words trailed off, and he stretched out his hand to cover hers on the table.

She smiled at him, uncertain what move to make next. “I’m sorry, I’ve never really dated. The only person I’ve ever been with is Jason, so all this is new to me.”

He laughed softly. “I know and it’s okay. Just relax and stop apologizing.”

His reassurance calmed her a bit, but she still didn’t know what to say. He practically knew her entire life, just as she knew his.

He was sweet and paid her lovely compliments, and as the night went on, she found herself having fun when they talked about their dreams while growing up and the girls he’d dated in high school.

After dinner, they went for a walk and he held her hand. In all her life, she’d never imagined herself with Tony. He had always been there, but she’d never really looked close enough to see. Now, she saw him in a whole new light.

When he took her home, he lingered by the entrance of the apartment building and she wondered if she should invite him in. Maybe he wanted to say hello to Robbie, but then again, it was almost midnight, which meant that Robbie was asleep.

As the thoughts paraded through her mind, he leaned close and kissed her. He hadn’t kissed her since that night they’d had dinner at her apartment.

This time, she didn’t expect anything but his lips felt different. His mouth was silky, a bit more provocative than the last time, and it ignited a flare within her.

She kissed him back, waiting for the flare to grow into a fire. He held her close as she clasped her arms around his neck.

In slight frustration for lack of improvement, Alicia let Chris’s kiss cross her mind and she unknowingly adopted those sensations.

Apparently encouraged by her response, Tony deepened the kiss. Alicia remembered how Chris’s softness had enveloped her. Suddenly realizing what she was doing, she eased the kiss and pulled back. She knew Tony would never forgive her if he ever found out she was imagining kissing Chris while he was kissing her.

“Wow!” he said, still holding her in his arms.

She was ashamed of herself, but tried to conceal it when Tony pecked her lips and she slowly pulled away.

“I had fun tonight,” she told him, inwardly fighting her conscience.

“Me, too.” He smiled at her, and she felt incredibly guilty.

“Well, it’s late,” she said. “I should go release Mom. Robbie can be a handful at times.”

He nodded and then quickly brushed a kiss on her lips before she walked into the building. In the elevator, she placed her fingers over her lips and thought about the kiss.

She couldn’t understand why she’d think of Chris at such an intimate moment, and even more, why the thought of her had the power to turn her on so much. But then again, Chris was so stunning even a woman would be attracted to her.

Robbie slept peacefully in his bedroom, and she kissed him on the cheek. She went to the guest bedroom and found Ellen awake. She was reading one of Alicia’s fashion magazines and was more alert than she appeared to be.

“Mom?”

“Honey, you’re home,” Ellen said while she sat up.

“Yes, I am.” Alicia sat on the bed beside her.

“How was your date?” Ellen put away the magazine.

“It was good. Tony is great.” Alicia rested her head on the pillow and lifted her legs onto the bed.

“It makes me very happy to see you picking up the pieces and moving on. You have this glow on your face that I haven’t seen in a long time.” Ellen ran her fingers through Alicia’s hair.

“It feels good to be moving on,” Alicia said.

After a while, Ellen asked, “Did you always know that Chris was a model?”

Surprised by her mother’s question, Alicia looked at the stack of magazines on the bedside and smiled. “Yes, I always did.”

“I never gave Miranda enough credit as a mother, but looking at Chris right now, I can’t help thinking she must have done something right.”

At the remark, Alicia wondered whether her mom harbored any ill feelings towards Miranda for her affair with Alicia’s father, Ray.

Ellen covered her with a blanket, and they both fell asleep.

* * *

“Your sister is a former model?” Porter said.

“That’s why she’s opening the business with Alicia. Do you know Alicia?”

“Who doesn’t know Alicia in this town? Her ex-husband, Jason, is the pride of Cresswell Falls. He’s a superstar here, though that’s likely to change when everyone finds out that Chris is even a bigger one.”

“Yeah, and Jason’s ex-wife, Alicia, is the designer. I think they’ll put Cresswell Falls on the map. They’re both incredibly talented,” Drew said. “Wait. What do you mean Jason is a superstar?”

“He plays baseball for the Black Panthers.” Porter went on to tell her about Jason’s publicized marriage to Alicia.

“Hey, Porter,” Chris said when she walked in.

Porter was looking at her in a different way, like he could barely contain his excitement at being in the same room with her.

“Are you okay?” she asked when she noticed his reaction.

“He’s fine,” Drew answered for him.

“What were you two talking about?” Chris asked.

“Nothing. Come on, Porter, time for you to go.” Drew stood up and Porter followed her out.

Chris waited until she got back. “What was that all about?”

“He just found out you’re famous. I think it was too much for him to take,” Drew said.

“Drew, I told you to be careful with what you say to him. You know how people are in this town.”

“I didn’t tell him something he wouldn’t come to find out eventually. Once you open that business, your face will be all over magazines again.”

“And until that happens, I’m more than okay with being just another person in this town.”

“By the time everyone finds out, your business will be up and running and the publicity will work in your favor.”

“Is he nice to you?” Chris asked, dropping the subject.

“He’s cool to hang out with. At least I don’t get bored. A few days ago, he started teaching me how to ride a motorcycle. It gives you such a rush.”

Chris looked at her, searching her face for seriousness. “Are you two like a couple now?” she asked.

“No, we’re just friends. I have to go back to school in a few weeks. I can’t be getting involved with boys right now.”

Chris was glad there was nothing serious between them. She said, “You won’t be around to see Mathews and Brewster take off.”

“I’ll be with you in spirit, plus you know I’m wishing you the best of everything in the world.”

“Thanks.” Chris’s phone started ringing. She saw Miranda’s number on the screen and groaned.

“What is it?” Drew asked.

“My mother.” Chris answered the call as she went upstairs to her bedroom.

“Honey, I’m coming to Cresswell Falls.”

The words shocked Chris into a halt. “What?”

“I know there’s something wrong with you, and I want to know what it is. So I’m coming there to see you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me. You don’t have to come here.” Chris already had enough going on without having to put up with her mother.

“Then talk to me. I hate Cresswell Falls, but I love you enough to get on a plane and come there.”

There were reasons why they hadn’t seen each other in a long time, and Chris wondered whether those reasons had slipped her mother’s mind.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’ve just had a lot on my mind. This business is taking more time and energy than I thought it would.”

She’d mentioned the business to Miranda but now went into detail about it. Her mother was supportive and proud of her, and when the conversation was over, Chris felt more at ease and at peace.

* * *

“Alicia,” Chris said, “I talked to Andrew and he’s setting me up for an interview with Glimpse fashion magazine. I’ll be going to New York for a few days, and as soon as it’s done, I’ll be back.”

They had just opened, gotten all the merchandise they needed, and everything was running smoothly. Jennifer was at her desk, excited to be part of the business, and Chris was satisfied with the office and Alicia’s working space.

“I want you to sew together a few of your designs for me to wear,” Chris said. ”They’ll take pictures, and it’ll be a great way to debut your line. While I’m there, I’ll try to get in touch with Joey Bradford, the Hollywood friend I mentioned earlier. She’s an actress and just finished shooting a film that will be released very soon. I’ll try to talk her into wearing your design on the red carpet at the film’s premiere.”

All they needed now was for Alicia to finish making a couple more designs that Chris would take along with her to the interview, and then everything would officially begin.

“Do you guys need anything? Something to drink or eat?” Jennifer asked from the door to the office that Chris shared with Alicia.

“No, we’re fine, Jen. Thanks,” Chris said and Jennifer closed the door.

“I guess I should get to work,” Alicia said.

“Wait,” Chris said.

Since she’d encouraged Alicia to date Tony, things between them had changed. They kept their distance, and all their conversations were based on the business.

“How are you doing? Is everything okay at home? With Robbie and Ellen?” Chris asked.

“Uh, yeah, everything’s fine and Mom and Robbie are okay. How is Drew?”

“She’s great. She’s going back to school in a few days.”

“She must be excited. I know she doesn’t like this place.”

“It’s not the place. It’s the lack of company. How are you and Tony?” Chris noticed Alicia’s hesitation before she answered.

“We’re doing fine.”

Chris nodded and said, “That’s good.”

Alicia looked at her for a moment and then walked out.

* * *

“If you need anything, I want you to call me, okay?” Chris told Drew at the airport. She couldn’t believe how quickly time flew by.

“Okay. Tell me everything that happens with your business,” Drew said as she hugged her.

When they pulled apart, Drew hugged Alan and Rosa and they all said good-bye. Once Drew left, Alan and Rosa went back home while Chris went back to the office.

She was slightly surprised to find Tony there, flirting with Alicia. It was after hours and Jennifer was gone, so she assumed Tony was there to take Alicia out.

“Hello, Tony, how are you?” she said.

“Hi, Chris, I’m good. How are you?”

She saw Alicia looking at her and smiled as she said, “I’m great. Have you seen Alicia’s work, she’s amazing.”

He nodded in agreement. “I have.”

“Stop talking as though I’m not here,” Alicia said.

“We’re praising your craft.” Chris studied the dress Alicia was working on. The detail she was adding to it was amazing. She’d seen the sketch and knew the result would be breathtaking.

“Thanks, but please, stop. You’ll get me overconfident, and it’ll be easy for me to make a mistake,” Alicia said and Tony raised his hands in surrender.

“Hey, if you guys are going out for dinner, you should wind up. Don’t worry about closing. I’ll do it,” Chris said.

“Why don’t you join us for dinner?” Tony’s invitation surprised Chris. “It’ll give me a chance to get to know you.”

Chris looked at Alicia. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.” The last thing she needed was to watch Alicia and Tony acting like a couple.

“You wouldn’t be. Right, Alicia?” Tony asked.

“Right,” Alicia said.

“I’ve known Alicia most of my life,” Tony said, “and you’re new in her circle of friends. Since she likes you so much, I was thinking it would be nice if we got to know each other.”

Chris felt like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. How was she supposed to turn him down when he put it like that?

“Are you sure I wouldn’t be imposing?” She was hoping one of them would come up with some sort of excuse.

“No, not at all,” Tony said.

“No,” Alicia said.

Chris silently wished she hadn’t come back to the office. “Okay.”

“Great,” Tony said. Chris looked at Alicia who was avoiding her gaze.

Alicia finished what she was doing, and in a few minutes, they were leaving the building. Since they weren’t going far, they decided to walk.

Tony made small talk, which Chris and Alicia contributed to, and when they got to the restaurant ten minutes later, Chris took a seat across from them.

“Are you enjoying being in Cresswell Falls?” Tony asked after they ordered.

“It’s nice being close to my family, since we were often separated, and it’s been great making new friends, so yes, I’m enjoying being here.”

“Did Drew leave to go back to college?” Alicia asked.

“Yeah, she left,” Chris said as their waiter brought over their food.

“Do you miss the big city?” Tony asked.

Chris thought about everything the city had to offer that a little town didn’t, and she couldn’t help feeling a little nostalgic. “Honestly, sometimes I do but I feel happier here, which is weird, because I never thought I’d come back to stay.”

“Why not?”

“I was with my mom most of the time while I was growing up, and I only got to see my dad during holidays or when he visited me. Until I came back, I didn’t realize how limited our time together was. Being around Dad, Drew, and Rosa again, makes me happy and content.”

“Don’t you miss your mother?”

Chris hesitated, and lied. “I do, but we talk often on the phone.”

Tony nodded and Chris took advantage of the moment to pose him some questions.

“So you two have known each other since ninth grade?”

“I think longer,” Tony said, “but we started talking during that time.”

“Alicia, between Jason and Tony, which one of them did you notice first?”

The question appeared to have surprised Alicia, and Tony looked intrigued to hear the answer.

“I’d have to say Tony, and I’m not just saying that because you’re here,” she said.

“How come you chose Jason?”

“He chose me, and I guess I fell in love with him.”

When Chris noticed her discomfort, she stopped.

“So, Chris,” Tony said as he took a bite of his meal, “do you have a boyfriend?”

Chris looked at him for a second. “You should probably rephrase that to, do I have a girlfriend? To which my answer is no.”

Tony choked on his food and started coughing as though it had gone down the wrong pipe. Chris couldn’t interpret the look that came upon Alicia’s face.

“Sorry,” Tony said as he continued to cough.

“Are you okay?” Chris asked.

“I’m fine.” He took the glass of water Alicia was handing him. After drinking it halfway, he turned his attention back to Chris who was amusedly looking at him.

“I have to say, I’ve gotten a lot of reactions but that was a first.”

He looked away in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“It’s okay,” Chris said.

“So, you’re into women?”

“Yes, I am, and to answer your next question, my whole family knows I’m gay.”

“It must be comforting to know that you have their support,” he said as he placed his hand over Alicia’s.

“It is.” Chris watched them and continued to slowly eat her meal. She wondered what Alicia was thinking. She’d gotten too quiet.

“Does Robbie still practice how to skateboard?” she asked in order to break the silence.

“Yeah, he’s gotten very good at it. He keeps asking when you’ll teach him how to do the rest of the tricks.”

Pleased by the answer, she said, “Tell him I’ll come by soon.”

Alicia nodded and Chris noticed an odd expression flicker over Tony’s features. If he felt uncomfortable, he didn’t mention it. They made small talk throughout the rest of their meal, and after dessert, Chris tendered an excuse and left.

* * *

“Did you know she was gay?” Tony asked while he took Alicia home that night.

“Yes.” Alicia felt slightly uncomfortable now that it was out in the open and she wasn’t discussing it with the person she wanted to talk about it with.

When he walked her to the door, he said, “And it’s okay with you that she’s around Robbie?”

“Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“Because he’s a young boy, and she’s not exactly a role model.”

“You’re judging her?”

She wondered how he would react to learning that she’d kissed Chris.

“No, I’m not judging her. I’m okay with it. I just don’t think she should be around Robbie so much.”

“Because being gay is contagious?” she asked, unable to contain her frustration.

“No, Alicia, don’t get me wrong. I think Chris is great, but you should think about Robbie and how this could influence his life.”

“You will not tell me how to raise my son.” She tried hard to maintain her calm and walked away from him into the apartment.

* * *

“Hey, I hope I didn’t upset you last night,” Chris said to Alicia the following day.

“You didn’t upset me,” Alicia said but Chris doubted her. She didn’t look too happy.

A moment later, a deliveryman walked in with a bouquet of lilies. After Jennifer signed off on them, she took the card and handed it to Alicia.

“Are they from Tony?” Jennifer asked. After reading the card, Alicia nodded and put it away.

“He’s so sweet and romantic,” Jennifer said while Alicia resumed working on the dress.

“Can I talk to you in the office?” Chris asked Alicia, and for a moment, she thought Alicia would turn her down.

But she said, “Sure,” and stopped what she was doing.

Closing the door after Alicia entered, Chris asked, “Did I make a mistake telling him?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then why are you upset?”

Alicia turned her back to Chris. “I’m not upset with you.”

“But you’re upset, and I know it has something to do with last night.”

When Alicia didn’t make an attempt to confirm that, Chris walked over to her and placed her right hand on her back. “I’m sorry. If I had known it would cause you problems, I wouldn’t have said anything.”

“Chris, you have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong.”

“What happened?” Chris moved closer, close enough to inhale Alicia’s feminine scent.

“It was like Tony was a different person,” Alicia said and turned around.

“Did it have anything to do with what I said?”

After a moment, Alicia nodded.

“I’m sure whatever he did or said is justified from his perspective,” Chris said.

“No, it isn’t.”

“Alicia, I don’t expect the whole world to accept my sexuality. I face a lot of judgment and rejection, but it doesn’t make me feel ashamed or embarrassed. This is who I am, and sure, it sucks that a few people can’t handle it, but as long as those I love are okay with it, I really don’t care.”

“He said you shouldn’t be around Robbie so much,” Alicia said, revealing the root of her distress.

“And you’re upset with him for wanting to protect Robbie?” Chris was trying to show her there was no reason to be upset.

“I can’t believe you’re being so calm and understanding.”

“I guess it’s because I barely know Tony. If it was you, my reaction would be different.”

“Why?”

“Because...” She suddenly realized she was too close. She glanced away and then looked back at Alicia. “Because I care about you, and I care about what you think.” Trying not to lay focus on her words, she quickly added, “I think the reason why you’re so upset with him is because by judging me, in a way, he’s judging you.”

Alicia took a step away from her.

“You shouldn’t be mad at him. His motive was in Robbie’s best interest.”

“You shouldn’t defend him.”

“I shouldn’t?”

Alicia shook her head.

“Why?”

“Because he had no right to make such a remark. He doesn’t know you like I do.”

Chris saw the depth in her words and was touched by it. She regretted that she kept pushing Alicia into Tony’s arms but felt helpless to stop it. “No, he doesn’t.”

“Why is it so important to you that I be with him?”

The question took Chris aback and left her momentarily speechless. Despite Tony’s faults, Chris knew he loved Alicia and that was all that mattered. He could give her the life that she deserved, and he could be the father Robbie wanted.

“Chris.” Alicia’s voice came to her in the form of a whisper, and Chris weakened.

She had tried to keep her distance, and even as she stood there she was fighting her attraction to Alicia, but at that moment, she wanted to abandon reason.

She took a step closer to Alicia and touched her face. She trailed her fingers over Alicia’s cheeks and met her mystified gaze.

“I don’t,” she said, not thinking clearly as she gently smoothed back the short locks of Alicia’s hair.

“You don’t what?”

“I don’t want you to be with him,” Chris said right before she leaned forward and kissed Alicia.

Instantly, that fire and electricity traveled through Chris, opening pores within her inner being that she’d never known were closed. She didn’t restrain herself like the first couple of times. No, this time, she wanted to feel everything she’d been denying herself.

No one had ever provoked such yearning within her. She wanted to understand what it was about this particular person that did. What was so special about her that made Chris desire her so much?

Leaning Alicia against the desk, Chris trailed her right hand over Alicia’s thigh, pleased that she was wearing a short skirt. With her other hand, she held Alicia’s body against hers and Alicia moaned against her lips, which turned her on beyond comprehension.

She continued to move her hand up Alicia’s thigh. She kissed her neck and the soft sensitive spot over her ear. Alicia’s sighs sent tantalizing shivers of arousal through her entire body.

She moved her hand over Alicia’s hip and parted her legs so their bodies were intimately pressed against each other. Chris continued to kiss her way down Alicia’s throat and was enchanted when her sighs of pleasure turned to moans of delight.

Chris wanted to tear off Alicia’s clothes and make love to her then and there, but she fought to restrain herself. She continued kissing Alicia’s body, enjoying the thrill of her pleasure.

Alicia forced her eyes shut, allowing herself to swim in the pool of tumultuous sensations aroused by Chris’s simple touch. She bit into her lower lip, desperately clinging to denial. She couldn’t explain why her body was reacting like this to Chris when it had failed to respond at all to Tony.

She wanted to understand it. God, she wanted to understand it so badly. How could a woman arouse such desperate need in her? How could she make her heart pound with such startling insanity? How could she command so much power over her body? And how could she leave her so weak and make her so strong at the same time?

The questions faded away when Chris’s mouth caught hers again in a deep, intimate kiss. She instantly responded, accepting the softness that enveloped her. The kiss ignited a flame that quickly turned into a blaze of heat.

Longing with profound depth and intensity came alive in her, like a caged animal that had just seen an escape route. Desire consumed her body, and she held Chris closer, pressing her pelvis against Chris’s body.

She enjoyed Chris’s feminine softness. She enjoyed how Chris’s lips perfectly fit onto hers, and how they created such fireworks when they merged.

That acute feeling of being alive and the sweet painful sensation that reminded her she was a woman with needs made her realize that it wasn’t because she’d been deprived of her sexual needs for so long that she could react like that to just anyone. Tony was a perfect example to prove that. Chris inspired and provoked it all. She was the one responsible for everything that was going on inside of her.

Shamelessly riding Chris against the desk, she broke the kiss as a rush of liquid heat attacked her body. She screamed once and gasped for air.

Shocked and embarrassed for reaching orgasm so quickly from the excitement evoked by Chris, she concealed her face on Chris’s shoulder as the aftershocks of the release weakened her. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I just did that.”

“No, it was great. I mean, it was a first, but it was great,” Chris said.

Alicia could only imagine how scarlet her cheeks must have been, but Chris showed her there was nothing to be embarrassed about by capturing her lips in a long, lingering, passionate kiss that left her breathless.

A knock at the door and an attempt to open it shocked them both apart, but luckily, Chris had locked the door after they had entered.

“Alicia, Tony’s here to see you,” Jennifer said from the other side of the door.

Alicia tried to compose herself, but her body was still stuck in that intimate erotic moment. She tried to chase the aftershocks away but was unsuccessful.

“Just take a deep breath and relax,” Chris said and surprised her by kissing her again.

Momentarily forgetting, Alicia kissed her back and those little sharp sensations prickling through her body took over once again. She didn’t know how she could lose control so quickly, but Chris seemed to have a firmer hold on hers as she pulled away.

“If that was supposed to help, you should know that it only made it worse,” Alicia said.

“Call Jennifer from this phone,” Chris said, “and tell her that you’re not ready to see him yet. If you were really upset last night, he’ll give you more time to cool off. That way, we can both compose ourselves, because neither one of us is in a state to walk out of this room right now.”

Alicia took the phone and, a second later, was talking to Jennifer. After passing the message along, she hung up and waited. A few minutes later, Jennifer called to tell her that Tony had left and Alicia exhaled in relief.

“Help me understand how you can make my body feel this way when no man ever has,” she said to Chris a moment later.

“Honestly, I’m struggling with it myself.” Chris took a step away from Alicia.

“But you’ve been with women. It’s part of your nature,” she said, slightly frightened by her body’s reaction to Chris.

“Alicia, I can’t answer that question for you.”

Alicia knew that, but she wished Chris could try because she couldn’t understand it. “I really don’t know what’s going on with me. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Blushing at the fact that she’d climaxed from foreplay, she turned away and said in embarrassment, “I’ve never…” She turned to meet Chris’s warm, intense gaze.

“What?”

“I’ve never had an orgasm from foreplay,” she confessed.

“I’m glad it happened with me.” The words rolled out of Chris’s mouth like erotic poetry.

“I’m still really embarrassed.”

“You shouldn’t be.” Chris pulled Alicia back into her arms.

“What do I do about Tony?” Alicia wondered if what had happened between them had changed anything. It frightened the living daylights out of her that she could so easily choose something that was completely new to her, over something she’d known practically all her life.

Chris let her go, and Alicia knew her answer before she even said the words. “He loves you. That’s what you always need to remember.”

That was the appropriate choice, but for once, Alicia wanted to do something she’d never done before. “What about…?” She wasn’t even sure what she was asking for.

“Think about Robbie and what he needs,” Chris said.

Alicia didn’t know what to say. One moment, Chris was telling her she didn’t want her to see Tony, and the next, she was pushing her back into his arms. She’d always thought men were complicated, but it appeared that women could be even more complicated.

“Do I look okay now?” she asked, letting go of the subject.

“Yes, you do,” Chris said, and Alicia left the office.

Chapter 8

“Do you know how long you’ll be gone for?” Alan asked Chris as she prepared for her flight.

“A week, I think, but don’t worry. I’ll be back. This is my home now, here with you.” She gave him a warm hug.

“Will you see your mother?”

“No, the last time we talked, she said she was in Barcelona.”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Dad,” she said when he didn’t let her go.

“I love you too, honey. Do you want me to take you to the airport?”

“No, I’ll be fine. I have to pass by the office and pick up some things first. My flight doesn’t leave for three hours.”

“All right. Call me when you get there.” He pulled back and pecked her on the forehead.

His sadness made her wonder if he doubted that she’d come back. Words weren’t doing anything to help. She would just have to come back to prove it.

“Rosa is going to help you pack,” he said as he left the room. A moment later, Rosa walked in.

“Forgive your father. He’s afraid of losing you.”

“Make him understand that he won’t,” Chris told her.

“Chris,” Rosa said, almost nervously, and Chris saw the same fear in her eyes as she’d seen in her father’s. “We really love having you around. I may not have raised you, but you’re like a daughter to me and I really do mean it when I say I love you.”

The words made Chris want to cry. “Oh, Rosa, I love you, too, and I am coming back. This is just a business trip. I explained that. So please stop making it feel like we’ll never see each other again.”

Rosa laughed softly, and Chris hugged her as an overwhelming sensation of love came over her.

“I should get going now before you two make me cancel the trip,” she said and Rosa started to help her pack.

Afterwards, Chris headed to the office. She knew that she was home to stay was going to take some getting used to, so she understood why her parents were apprehensive about the trip. They probably thought she was going to go to New York and fall back in love with the city.

She might fall in love again, especially when she met up with Joey who was most likely going to take her to every hot restaurant and every new club that had been opened within the few months she’d been away. But she was going to return home.

“You look beautiful,” Jennifer said when she arrived at the office. Chris looked at her, wondering where the compliment had come from.

“You know the whole town is talking about you. Remember how I asked what you were doing the whole time you were away?” she said. Chris shook her head in pretense, knowing Jen was going to tell her anyway.

“Check this out,” she said excitedly as she showed Chris a picture from an old magazine of her walking down the runway on a fashion show.

“That was a long time ago,” Chris said, trying not to make a big deal out of it.

“Really? Because the magazine date doesn’t lie. This is only a year ago. You were a fashion diva.” Jennifer’s voice went a notch higher. “I can’t believe I work for a celebrity.”

Alicia walked in holding a piece of fabric and some equipment in her hands. “What’s going on?”

“And I can’t believe you knew this whole time and you never told me!” Jennifer accused.

Alicia apologetically looked at Chris. “You chose the perfect timing for this trip.”

“I guess this means the whole town knows,” Chris said. Turning her attention back to business, she asked, “Are you going to be okay running this place on your own?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Can we talk in private?” Chris asked. “Excuse us, Jen.”

Alicia followed her to their office. “Don’t worry about this place,” Alicia said. “Just focus on what you’re going there to do. If anything comes up, I’ll tell you.”

Chris wasn’t able to conceal her uncertainty, and Alicia asked, “Is something wrong? Should I be worried?”

Chris quickly shook her head. “No, no, it’s just that Dad and Rosa are afraid I might not return, that the thrills of the big city will lure me back. But you’re convinced that I will, and it’s comforting.”

“You’ve never let me down, and when you say you’re going to do something, I believe you.”

Chris smiled at Alicia’s words. Before she could start getting sentimental, she said, “I guess I should get going. I don’t want to be late for my flight.”

She turned to leave, hoping the trip wouldn’t take longer than a week. She stopped when Alicia called her name.

“Chris, have a safe trip,” Alicia said.

She walked over to Chris and embraced her. The simple hug lasted a bit longer than it should have, but it felt good.

“Thanks,” Chris said when they pulled apart.

After taking what she needed from the office, Chris left. As the Brewster driver took her to the airport, she looked at the bright blue sky and the green mass of grass and was startled to realize she was actually going to miss the little town.

* * *

The soft knock on the door on the lazy Sunday afternoon roused Alicia awake. She’d been working so hard that, even when she slept, all she dreamed about was work and how excited it always kept her.

“Before you shut the door in my face, please hear me out,” Tony said when she opened the door.

She leaned against the frame and waited.

“I’ve apologized like a hundred times. I made a mistake, okay? I never should have said what I said. I wasn’t questioning you as a mother, and I should have thought about your friendship with Chris before expressing my concerns. I’m old-fashioned, Alicia. But I love Robbie, and the only reason I said those things was because I was looking out for him. I realize that’s silly, because there are a lot of gay people in the world that he might meet, but you know I would do anything to protect him. I’m sorry I hurt you, and I’m sorry to Chris.”

He got the apology right, and Alicia could see that he meant it, but she needed to remind him she knew how to raise her son.

“Robbie doesn’t need protecting from Chris. She’s a good person, and apart from you, she’s the only other person I trust. If you have a problem with her, you’ll have a problem with me.”

“I understand. Am I forgiven now?”

She acted as though she were thinking about it, and then said, “Yes, you’re forgiven.”

Obviously relieved, he surprised her by taking her in his arms and kissing her. She’d almost forgotten that they were dating now and intimacy was part of the package, but after what had happened with Chris, she feared she might end up breaking Tony’s heart.

“Would you like to come in?” she asked when he pulled away.

“I’d love to,” he said and walked past her.

She took a deep breath and pushed away the fire that Chris had left lurking inside of her after that passionate day at the office. She still thought about it despite her best efforts not to.

“What were you doing?” Tony sat down and invited her to join him.

“I was watching a movie and I fell asleep. Robbie’s at my mom’s.”

“So we’re alone?” he asked, like a guy who had just seen an opportunity and Alicia felt a bit nervous.

“Yeah, we are, but I don’t think I’m ready for anything more than what we’re doing right now.”

“I’m not pushing you into anything. You just forgave me. I don’t want you to get mad at me again.”

Alicia leaned against his shoulder, and he put an arm around her and pressed the Play button on the remote control.

“So what were you watching?”

“Rumor Has It, with Jennifer Aniston.”

He laughed at the title, and she realized it sounded a lot like how conversations began in Cresswell Falls.

They started watching the movie, and she wondered what Chris was doing. It had been several hours since she’d left, and she hadn’t called to say she’d arrived.

Alicia had managed to design and sew her several outfits to wear for the interview. The thrill of knowing everyone who read Glimpse magazine was going to see them overwhelmed her.

For years she’d imagined a supermodel walking down the runway in her designs, and now that dream was coming true.

Christina Brewster, she thought, and flashes of memories ran across her mind, taking her back to that day in the office.

She closed her eyes, thinking about the softness of Chris’s lips on her neck and behind her ear, then Chris’s hand touching her thigh, while her lips stirred up a mixture of lust and ecstasy.

The thoughts made her forget she was seated beside Tony as she delved deeper into how wonderful it had felt when her muscles had contracted and just as suddenly expanded, giving her such sweet release.

It had been years since she’d felt anything close to that. Chris had given her an orgasm without even touching her. Chris’s passionate kisses had stripped her of every guard she had put up. But when it had come to an end, she’d pushed Alicia back to Tony’s arms.

But what did Alicia expect? Chris was probably looking for someone as high in rank as herself, someone sexy, stunning, rich, glamorous, classy, unattached, probably even famous, with less baggage or none whatsoever.

Well, maybe not famous, but the rest spoke volumes of the sort of person who would fit her. Alicia was the exact opposite of that, and most important, she was straight, wasn’t she?

She didn’t need to think about that. But every time she thought of Chris, those questions along with a few more disturbing ones crept up on her and scared her.

She always put Robbie’s happiness first, and she always would. That was probably what Chris was doing, too, by pushing her away, but she wished it made her a little happier.

“Hey.”

Realizing she had drifted off again thinking about Chris, she looked at Tony. With his handsome face, his small nose, shaved jaw, sweet, kind eyes, soft easy smile, and short boyish brown hair, he was everything in a man any woman could ever wish for. So why was she here thinking about Chris? A woman who would never give her a second thought.

At the notion, she touched his face and leaned forward to kiss him. He kissed her back, and she clasped her arms around his neck, holding him closer.

She could feel his affection expressing itself through the kiss, but why couldn’t she give him as much in return? Why didn’t his kisses arouse her as Chris’s had?

In an attempt to force herself to forget Chris, she deepened the kiss. Tony pulled her up from the couch and sat her comfortably on his lap.

He wrapped his arms around her as she ran her fingers through his hair, but inside she longed for Chris’s long, soft mane of hair. She yearned for the kiss that gave her life again, the touch that made her feel again, the eyes that made her feel like the entire world was watching her, and that for the very first time, someone was noticing her.

She longed for Chris. Her kisses, her soft caresses, her easy movements, her scent, her voice—she yearned for everything, and it was driving her completely insane.

The doorbell brought her back, and she realized she’d lost herself in the kiss. She pulled away, hoping Tony would never suspect she visualized someone else when he kissed her.

“I’m sorry, but I have to get that.” She pecked his lips and stood up.

She took a deep breath as she opened the door and looked at her visitor in utter surprise.

“Hi, Alicia,” Jason said.

“Jason, what are you doing here?” Her voice had grown stiff.

“I need to talk to you,” he said softly, and she wondered why he looked so different.

The last time she’d seen him, he’d been drunk and disoriented. It felt like it had been ages now, like the person she was looking at wasn’t the same.

He was cleanly shaved, his hair was shorter, and he was wearing a dress shirt with a sweater and a pair of jeans. Simply put, he was attractive.

Before she could respond, Tony appeared from behind the door, but the look on Jason’s face was that of deep regret and apology, which confused Alicia.

“Tony, it’s good that you’re here. I was hoping I could talk to you, too,” he said. Alicia could sense Tony’s apprehension and tension.

“May I come in?” Jason asked. After silently debating with herself, she let him in.

“First off, I would like to apologize for that day I showed up at the house. I was drunk and feeling sorry for myself. I will apologize to Robbie, if you let me, but before I do that, there are several things I’d like to say.”

Alicia felt like she was looking at a new man.

“I’m sorry for that night you came to see me and found me with someone else. I’m sorry for every other time I was with anyone else but you while we were still married. I’m sorry I took you for granted. I’m sorry for all the things I did or said to hurt you. I’m sorry I put you in an awkward position with Robbie after I broke my promises, but mostly”—he paused, and Alicia was shocked that he was finally admitting his wrongs and trying to correct them—“I’m sorry I never loved you the way you deserved to be loved. Alicia, you and Robbie are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’m so sorry I screwed it up. I’m not saying this in hope of you taking me back, because I know I really messed up. I’m saying this in hope you can let me have a relationship with my son, and if you can ever find it in your heart to forgive me, a friendship with you.”

Alicia had never seen this side of him. Since he’d been recruited into pro baseball, the boy she’d fallen in love with in high school had disappeared. The man standing in front of her, the mature, apologetic man who was requesting her permission to make up for all the wrongs he had done, was a side of Jason she had never known.

“Tony,” he said, “I’ve been a jerk to you. I should have been more grateful to you for being there for Alicia and Robbie when you didn’t have to be. I’m sorry for all the accusations I made about you and Alicia, and I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend to you.”

After the apology, Tony punched Jason in the face. For a moment, Alicia was too startled to move.

“Tony!” She saw Jason’s bleeding nose and went to him where he had fallen on the floor. “Why did you do that?” she asked Tony in shock. He wasn’t an impulsive or violent man.

Tony spoke angrily. “I can’t believe you’re just going to let him sway you with a few ‘sorries’ after everything he’s done.”

Alicia found herself torn between the two men. “You shouldn’t have done that,” she said, and Tony stalked out of the apartment.

She turned her attention back to Jason, who sat bleeding on her floor, and gently moved away his hand to inspect the wound.

“He always knew how to throw a punch,” Jason joked. Alicia helped him to the couch and went to get him some ice for the wound and something to wipe off the blood.

“What’s going on? Why are you here? Why are you doing this?” she asked him.

“Alicia, they fired me,” he said.

“What? The Black Panthers?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

He looked ashamed to admit the truth, but he said it anyway. “I was on steroids.”

She sat up in shock. “What?”

“I got injured about two years ago. I never told you about it because I didn’t want you to worry. When I went back to the field, I wasn’t the same anymore. A teammate suggested that I take steroids. At first I refused to, but I was under constant pressure and I needed to improve my game, so I took them.

“It was supposed to be a one-time thing, but once I started, I couldn’t stop. My game improved, but the steroids affected my body. When the coach found out, he took me off the team. I came back the day I was late for Robbie’s game, but I had been off the team for a whole month. I didn’t know how I could face you two and tell you this.” He looked so sad and broken that Alicia couldn’t help sympathizing with him.

“Jason, you should have told me,” she said, taking a seat beside him.

“Would it have made a difference?” he asked, and she honestly couldn’t answer that question.

“After I came to the house and found Tony there, I saw the look on your face and I knew I had to change. If not for you or for myself, then for Robbie, because he deserves a better father. I may have failed in my career, but I will not fail him as a father.”

When she saw he was being sincere, she took the cloth he’d been using to wipe the blood off his nose and wiped off some that had smeared on his face.

“I’m really sorry for everything,” he said. “I promise I’ll find a way to make it up to you and Robbie.”

“How did you know where I lived?” she asked, and he softly laughed.

“This is Cresswell Falls, everybody knows everything.”

“I’m sorry about your career.”

“I think I deserved it. It’s payback for being so selfish.”

“Where have you been staying?”

“I went to a rehabilitation center then went back home for a while. I kept asking myself what my parents would think if they were alive to see what a mess I’ve made of my life.”

“I think right now they would be proud.”

“Not until I do right by you and Robbie.”

She thought about Tony. She had moved on so much that she wondered whether there was any room left for Jason. “You’ll have to talk to Robbie and win back his trust,” she said, not sure how Robbie would react to this new side of his father.

“What about you?”

“Jason, I’ve moved on.”

“I wasn’t expecting anything,” he said, almost as though he was nervous, then he smiled and said, “But I’ll keep on hoping.”

“I’m seeing Tony now.” She wasn’t sure what she saw on his face. Regret? Loss? Heartbreak? She couldn’t tell, but she knew the statement had affected him.

“That explains the punch,” he said as he got to his feet. “He’s a good guy. I guess I should be glad, because I know I can trust him to take care of you.”

His maturity about the whole situation was unexpected, but she was pleased he was being an adult about it. “I’ll try and see if I can talk to him again. This time I’ll be ready if he tries to punch me.” He tried to make a joke but neither of them laughed. “Is Robbie here?”

“No, he’s at my mother’s.”

“Can I come see him tomorrow? I really miss him.”

“Yeah, I’ll tell him you dropped by.” Alicia walked him to the door.

“Thanks, and by the way, congratulations on your business. I always knew you would make a great designer someday.”

“Thanks.” Remembering she was in Cresswell Falls, she didn’t have to guess how he had found out.

After closing the door, she realized how much progress she had made. She had managed to pick up the broken pieces that had been her life and had successfully rebuilt herself. Well, almost.

If Jason’s sincerity was genuine, she hoped Robbie would give him a chance. He had failed the boy so many times and in so many ways that hoping was an act too big to use in his case. But she hoped still.

Chapter 9

Chris stared at the ceiling of her New York apartment, thinking about how well the interview had gone this afternoon. She’d only been there for a day and a half and had called home more than a dozen times. She had also phoned Alicia, whom she found herself tempted to call again.

She’d been interviewed by Danielle Davis, Glimpse fashion magazine’s editor and her long-time friend. Since they had both been in the fashion industry for years, they had run into each other on many occasions, and when Andrew had told her that Chris was interested in telling the world why she’d quit the runway, Danielle had been more than happy to do the story.

There had been a pictorial, in which she’d worn Alicia’s designs, and after the interview, they’d gone out for lunch. Chris was scheduled to return home in a couple of days and wanted to take that time to catch up with the fashion world.

Nothing much seemed to have changed. Her apartment still looked as she’d left it, and the city was just as noisy and crowded as it had always been, which surprisingly, she now saw as a nuisance.

She heard a knock on the door and wondered who it could be. None of her friends in the city knew she was around. The only reason Andrew knew was because he was her agent.

At the second knock, she peered through the security peephole and saw a beautiful, medium-height brunette with a bubbly personality.

She threw open the door. “Joey!”

Joey Bradford was a twenty-seven-year-old successful actress and Chris’s good friend. They had always enjoyed an on-and-off romantic fling that ended when either one of them was traveling for business or sometimes when they seriously started dating other people.

They had always put their friendship first and had only fooled around when bored or while seeking fun and adventure. They had not seen each other in months, but Joey still looked as beautiful as Chris remembered.

“Oh, my goodness! Get over here,” Chris said, and Joey walked into her embrace.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were back?” Joey asked as she entered the apartment.

“I was going to. How did you know I was here?”

“Andrew.”

“I bet there’s a reason behind him telling you,” Chris said.

“Yeah, he said you weren’t coming back to New York. Is that true?”

“I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“Do you really want to live that far away?”

Chris thought about her family and her business. “It’s not that far away, and it’s my home, Joey.”

“So you’re never going to go back to modeling?”

“I’m into fashion. I don’t have to model.”

“You don’t have to, but will you ever want to, again?”

Chris thought about it but wasn’t sure how to answer. What if she did? Maybe later on? “I don’t know. Come on, let’s talk about something else. Did Andrew tell you what kind of business I’m running?”

”He did.”

“I need a favor.”

“Anything.”

“I want you to wear my company’s dress on the red carpet at the premiere of your movie. My partner, Alicia Mathews, is a really talented designer. I’ll show you some of her work. If you hate it, that’s fine, but if you like it, I want you to wear it.”

“I don’t have to see it. I trust your taste, and I’ll do it on one condition.”

“What?”

“Andrew said you were leaving in a couple of days.”

“That’s the plan.”

“I want you to stay a few extra days.”

“I’m still in town for another two days.”

“I know, it’s just not enough time for us to catch up.”

Chris had already told her father she’d be going back home in those two days. If she told him she had decided to stay for a few more days, he was probably going to think what he’d feared all along.

“Come on, it’s a small price to pay.”

It was, considering how much she’d missed Joey, but that didn’t make her obligations any less real.

“What is so interesting about that small little town that you would actually take time to consider this?” Joey asked.

“My business,” Chris said, thinking about Alicia. “But if you insist that I stay, I will,” she added, having predicted something like that would happen. Joey could talk her into doing anything.

“Great. How is Miranda?”

“As adventurous as usual. She’s in Barcelona, met a guy called Pablo.”

Joey laughed and said, “I’m surprised you keep up with their names.”

“Yeah, me, too.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking and catching up on everything that had happened in their lives during the time they had spent apart. In the evening, Joey coaxed Chris into going out.

It was exciting, dressing up, going out, and having fun with the A-list crowd she’d been used to while she’d been modeling. Joey had always been great company, and she made sure that Chris enjoyed herself.

Being in that environment again made Chris miss the life she’d left behind, and suddenly having serious obligations and being responsible for something scared her.

That night she let go and just enjoyed herself. Joey took her to the dance floor, where they danced through the night and when handsome gentlemen came to hit on them, the two girls turned them away. It was their night, and Chris was determined to find out if she missed her old life.

* * *

“He just wants a chance with his son,” Alicia explained to Tony, who continued to disapprove of Jason’s return.

“What if he lets him down again? What if he continues to humiliate you?”

She couldn’t deny she was afraid that could happen, and the truth was, she wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with it.

Jason’s absence in her life for the past few months had been a welcome relief. When Tony voiced his insecurities, he succeeded in transferring them to her.

“Everybody deserves a chance, Tony. Wouldn’t you want one if you were in his position?”

She’d gone to work early that morning after Robbie had gone to school, and Tony had showed up to talk to her. “It’s too late for us, but it’s not too late for him and Robbie.”

“I just don’t want him to break the kid’s heart again. He’s never known how to be there for him. What makes you so sure that he’ll be good at it now?”

Jason was no longer a pro baseball player, and the desire he had expressed towards making up for lost time with Robbie had appeared genuine.

“Nothing.” She wished Tony would stop fighting her over the issue. Tony was important in Robbie’s life and her own, and he could express his opinion because his intentions were good, but in the end, the decision was all hers.

“I don’t want Robbie to hate me for growing up without a father who is willing to come back into his life. I just can’t handle that.”

He gave up on arguing with her over the issue, and to cheer him up, she said, “If you have some deep-seated fear that I might go back to him, you can stop worrying. I made it quite clear to him that I was with you.” As she’d expected, he relaxed.

She moved toward him, and a sense of warmth and security embraced her when he wrapped his arms around her slender body.

“Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?” he asked and kissed her forehead.

“I’d love to.”

He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. She knew his manhood and ego would be irreversibly insulted if she ever showed that his intimate attempts did nothing to turn her on, so she responded as she would have had that jolt of beckoning pleasure gone through her as was the case when she kissed Chris.

At the thought, she gently pulled away, wondering why Chris hadn’t called her that day.

“I guess I should leave you to work,” he said as he kissed her neck.

When he left, she wondered what she was doing playing around with his heart like that when deep down she desired someone else. At the thought, she sat down behind the large desk and a wave of unease overcame her.

Alicia trusted that Chris knew what she was doing by pushing her into Tony’s arms. He was the acceptable option.

When she and Jason parted, Robbie had been as much a victim of malicious gossip as Alicia. He’d been hurt, taunted by his friends, and disappointed. As his mother, she couldn’t subject him to something remotely close to that ever again.

Putting him first meant choosing Tony. If any sort of gossip came up regarding him, they could deal with it. But if anything about her passionate kisses with Chris ever came out, it would shock the entire town and hurt Robbie in the process. So she had to trust that Chris was doing right by her.

* * *

“What day is it?” Chris asked as she tried to crawl out of bed.

She had a hangover from hell. She slowly looked around her bedroom apartment for the clock to find out what time it was.

“Thursday, I think. Or Friday, I’m not sure.” Joey snuggled closer to Chris and stopped her from getting out of bed.

“What did we do last night?” Chris covered her head with a pillow as though to suffocate herself.

“I don’t know. I can’t remember.” Joey pulled the pillow away from Chris’s face.

Chris opened her eyes and then shut them when her sight became too sensitive to the light in the room. “I never noticed how bright this bedroom was before.” She struggled to sit up and get out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Joey asked.

All Chris could think was how desperately she needed an aspirin as she went to the bathroom. She couldn’t remember ever having such a bad headache. Her world was literally spinning, and her entire head, her eyes, her face, and even her mouth were aching. She felt like she’d swallowed acid.

“If we were so drunk last night, how did we end up here?” She rummaged for the aspirin in her medicine cabinet in the bathroom.

“I think we were at a party. Some of it’s coming back,” Joey said from the bed and then asked, “Can you grab me some aspirin, too?”

Chris filled a glass with water and swallowed a couple of pills. She grabbed a couple more and took them to Joey. “I know I was used to the nightlife and the partying, but I don’t recall it being this painful,” she said as she handed Joey the aspirin.

“That’s because you used to do it often and it’s been awhile.”

If that was it, then she didn’t want to go back to that life. “I can’t believe I considered this to be fun.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad.”

“I was supposed to travel back to Cresswell Falls today, but instead I’m here, nursing a hangover from hell. I have a business. I’m not this person anymore.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Chris. You’ve been here for four days. You want to tell me you haven’t missed this part of your life?”

“I thought I had, but I was wrong.”

Chris went to the kitchen to make herself some coffee. When she sat down to think, she couldn’t come up with a single reason why she’d agreed to go out with Joey again.

The first night had been fun. After they had gotten home, they had been exhausted and had quickly fallen asleep.

The following morning, Joey had left, claiming she had some things to do. Chris had gone out to learn about everything fashion that was happening. She’d gotten back to the apartment happy and satisfied.

That night, Joey had shown up again and they had gone out. It hadn’t been quite as much fun as the first night, but Chris had tried to have a good time.

She’d kept everything at the back of her mind, forcing herself to forget Alicia and everything that involved Cresswell Falls.

The following morning, she’d woken up next to Joey again. Nothing had happened between them, and Chris had been slightly taken aback to realize that she no longer saw Joey that way. She was a good friend and Chris loved her, but everything else they had shared was gone.

Joey had disappeared again the whole day only to show up in the evening, claiming she’d been invited to a party and she couldn’t go without Chris.

Chris had been apprehensive about it since she’d barely had fun the previous night, but Joey managed to talk her into it.

Now she was drinking a bitter cup of coffee in regret. She’d called her father to inform him that she’d be going home a bit later than planned, and his sad tone of voice had confirmed what she’d feared.

She’d repeatedly reassured him, wishing she could cut her trip short, but she couldn’t go back on her word.

She thought about Alicia and how she had made a great effort not to call her after she’d told her the interview had been a success. They hadn’t spoken to each other since.

Chris told herself that distance was exactly what they needed in order to figure out what they were doing, but she found herself remembering those steamy encounters.

She wondered how Robbie was doing and hoped she’d find time to finish teaching him how to skateboard. Then she thought about Tony, and a nauseous feeling overcame her.

She ran to the sink as what little she had in her stomach came up. Tears burned her eyes, and she ran the tap to flush the contents down the drain. She rinsed her mouth with a glass of water.

She had tried to forget how she’d spent her drunken nights with Joey before she’d stopped modeling and moved back home, but being in that situation again made her wonder what the difference really was.

Was she still the same person, even after the life-changing decisions she’d made? Sure she didn’t hook up with random women and sleep with them, she didn’t try a little weed because Joey dared her to, she didn’t have orgies at Joey’s insistence, and a whole lot of other wild things, but did not doing them make her any different? And if so, then why was she replaying the same scene she’d been in before?

“Are you still sulking?” Joey asked her from the bedroom door.

She was wearing a purple, silky robe, and Chris didn’t have to guess to know she had nothing else underneath. Her hair was in a careless tousle, which gave her an innocent, lovely look, and her big brown eyes were mocking her.

That image would have been enough to turn her on several months ago, but at the moment, it did nothing for her.

Joey went to the kitchen, poured herself some coffee, and then walked over to Chris and gently patted her back.

“Hey, remember that one time I had this huge crush on my co-star in that action movie I did a couple of years back?”

Chris nodded in memory.

“Do you remember what you did to help me get the guy?” Joey asked, tapping open some of the things Chris was unsuccessfully trying to forget.

“I seduced his girlfriend, got her to fall for me, and after she dumped him, you hooked up with him,” she said.

“Yeah, those were the good times,” Joey said. Chris recalled how hurt the girl she had seduced had been one week later when Chris had broken up with her.

“I’m not very proud of that, Joey,” she said, and Joey chuckled.

“I’m not saying you should be. But back then, you were happy. You were free. You did whatever you wanted, and you got away with it.”

No, it had all caught up with her. She hadn’t gotten away with anything. Nature had a way of balancing things.

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m not that person. I like spending a whole night in my bed, I like being around my family, I like working in my own company, and I don’t like this. I’ve changed,” she said, but she was trying to convince herself, not Joey.

“No, you haven’t,” Joey said.

They had been friends for so long that there was very little Joey didn’t know about Chris.

“You’re still beautiful, sexy, and you still have a better ass than J-Lo’s,” Joey said, making Chris giggle at her words. “Look, I don’t know if this is a phase you’re going through. I don’t know if you’re trying to prove something to yourself or to the world, but I know one thing.” Joey gently combed Chris hair back with her fingers.

“No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that you’re different, deep down inside you know you’ll always be the same person. You’ve been hurt and you’re deeply scarred. That isn’t something that disappears overnight. Your mother and her lifestyle are a constant reminder that you’re not like everybody else.”

Chris closed her eyes as Joey forced painful memories through her mind.

“She’s with a different guy everyday, and not too long ago, you were just like her. You enjoyed the thrill of the chase and loved the experience of capturing the tame. It may be lying dormant inside of you right now, but very soon, it’ll come alive again. You’ll hurt people that you don’t intend to hurt, and you know what, that’s okay because it’s who you are. I’ve accepted that, and I love you still.” Joey kissed her.

Chris thought of Alicia and what Joey had just said about the thrill of the chase. Because Joey knew her better than she knew herself, Chris wondered if that was what she’d been doing with Alicia.

She’d grown fond of her and Robbie, and if she was indirectly doing the same thing she’d done with the women before, then the only thing she was going to end up doing was hurting them.

Joey pulled back and gave Chris a mischievous smile before she opened her robe and dropped it on the tiled floor.

She kissed Chris again, a little more ardently this time, until Chris gave in when she realized Joey was right. She was scarred, she was exactly like her mother, and Joey was the only woman she’d ever been with who had stuck around.

She pulled Joey closer and leaned her against the counter as she responded to the kiss, letting the frustration of her passion with Alicia engulf her.

Joey propped herself up on the counter and wrapped her legs around Chris’s waist, holding her in place as they continued to kiss.

Chris moved her hands along Joey’s sexy body, remembering Alicia’s response to her when they had been in their office on the verge of making love. The thought drove her to deepen the kiss, and Joey enthusiastically responded, purring naughtily against her.

That she was thinking about another woman while ready to have sex with Joey made her question her sanity. What she’d felt during those sensual occasions with Alicia was driving the torrid passion within her now.

It wasn’t because Joey was so sexy, or because she was moaning against her, or even because she was completely naked and arched up against her body in a rather intimate manner. No.

“Joey,” she whispered against her lips as Joey continued to kiss her. Chris slowly disentangled herself from her.

“What? Why did you stop?”

“I’m not my mother.” Chris unfastened Joey’s legs from her waist and took a step back.

“What are you talking about?”

Chris leaned down and reached for the robe. She handed it back to Joey, slightly shocked with herself for walking away from such a sexually taunting sight. “I’m going back tomorrow. I love you, you know I do, but everything I need is in Cresswell Falls. Not here.”

Joey looked at her as though she was trying to read her mind, and because she knew Chris so well, it became unbearable and Chris had to look away.

“There’s someone else, isn’t there?” Joey put the robe back on and got off the counter. “You met someone in that crappy little town.” Joey suddenly broke into laughter. “Someone finally managed to tame Christina Brewster? Wow! What’s her name?”

“There’s no one else,” Chris said, refusing to confirm Joey’s accurate suspicion.

“There totally is. Who is she? What does she do? Is she hot?”

“There’s no one else. I just want to go back home. I’m going to book a flight,” Chris said and quickly walked out of the room.

Chapter 10

“It’s so good to have you back,” Alan told Chris as he hugged her tightly.

It felt like one of those occasions when they would go ages without seeing each other. “It’s good to be back, Dad,” she said when he released her.

She wrapped her arms around Rosa, and the warmth of being wanted and being loved she felt inside told her she was exactly where she needed to be.

“I missed you guys,” she said as she sat down for breakfast.

She’d gotten home very late, and Alan and Rosa had been asleep. After she’d resolved to return home early, she decided to surprise her parents. From the pleased looks on their faces, she could tell how happy they both were to have her back.

“We missed you, too.” Rosa reached for her hand over the table.

“How was New York?” Alan asked. “Did you manage to get everything done?”

“Yeah, I did. In about a week, we’ll see if I succeeded,” Chris said.

The monthly copy of Glimpse usually came out during that period. She’d been told she was on the cover page, and because her career had made her so famous in some of the greatest fashion cities in the world, she knew it was just a matter of time until Alicia’s designs were noticed and her name recognized.

“I’m sure you did. We’re both so proud of you,” Alan said and his words made her think of her mother.

When Joey had brought Miranda up in their conversation, a little resentment had come awake in Chris. Nasty things had happened to her while she’d been growing up under the care of her mother.

For years she’d struggled with it, fighting the memories with casual sex and drugs, inwardly blaming herself and believing that kind of life, with its fame and fortune, came with all the bad things she’d done.

It wasn’t until she decided to end that lifesyle that she realized she could still find redemption, but doing so came at a price.

Joey knew about every sordid detail that Chris had done. She’d been her partner in crime during most of those occasions. They’d had fun, because back then she’d believed she had nothing to lose. Things were different now, but was she?

In comparison to Joey, she didn’t share the same mentality about being a famous and adored celebrity. While Joey could be as mean and rude to people as she pleased, Chris was always sensitive and kind with everyone around her.

On television and film, Joey could be anything she wanted because she was a talented actress, but behind the scenes, when she was her true self, sometimes even Chris didn’t like her.

“Are you going to the office or will you get some rest first?” Alan asked, snapping her out of her reverie.

“I think I’ll go by the office and see how things are going then come back home and rest.” Chris decided to put Joey and Miranda at the back of her mind. After all, they were the least of her concerns.

After breakfast, she took a shower and changed into a pair of jeans and a shirt. She left the Brewster mansion and headed to the office.

The one thing she had come to appreciate about the little town was its lack of traffic. In the big city, she could be trapped in traffic for hours, but in Cresswell Falls, the roads were almost always completely clear.

Twenty minutes later, she parked her car and noticed how the people around town were looking at her. She had to remember that she had left just when everyone had found out she’d been a model.

Thinking like an opportunist, and recalling that any publicity was good publicity for the business, she put on her sunglasses and headed to the entrance of the building. Once Alicia designed enough clothes, they could open a clothes store right there because there was so much space and room for growth and improvement.

Jennifer was the first to see her. She let out a yelp of excitement, which startled Chris since she didn’t expect it.

“Chris, you’re back,” she said.

“Yes, I am.” Chris turned her attention to Alicia, who had been busy working on a gorgeous top. “How’s the business doing?”

“So far, we’re good,” Alicia said and softly laughed when Jennifer got up, walked up to Chris, and began asking about everything that had happened in New York.

Chris told her what she could, withholding everything personal that had taken place. She was flattered to see how happy Jennifer was to be working for her, now that she’d discovered her other life as a famed runway model.

“Could you get me a cup of coffee, no cream?” she asked Jennifer so she could be alone with Alicia. Jennifer quickly nodded and left.

“Does being famous always come with privileges?” Alicia teased. Chris removed her sunglasses and went over to her.

“Sometimes.” She held out her arms, and Alicia walked into her warm but casual embrace.

“Have I ever told you you’re extremely talented?” Chris asked in the same teasing tone but in appreciation as well. The top Alicia was working on was outstandingly beautiful.

“All the time.”

They pulled apart, and Chris took a closer look at the blouse and said, “Well, I’ll say it again and again. Alicia Mathews, you are extremely talented.”

Alicia blushed. Chris had known it would be overwhelming to see Alicia again, but she felt as much as she was trying to change, those few days she’d spent in New York had crushed her spirit.

Joey’s attempts to exploit her past and use it against her had worked. As she stood there, looking at Alicia, inwardly tempted to brush aside the short unruly lock of hair that was carelessly falling over her face, Chris realized she couldn’t hurt her and made a silent vow to herself.

Despite how she felt when they kissed or barely touched, it was better to completely avoid anything that would bring about complications later on.

“Is everything okay?” Alicia asked when the silence became too loud.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.”

Jennifer walked back in with a hot cup of coffee and handed it to Chris. “Thanks, Jennifer,” she said.

“So will we get to meet famous celebrities and other models?” Jennifer asked and Chris laughed softly.

“Yeah, I guess.” It didn’t matter who wore their clothes as long as they got noticed.

“Like who? Anyone famous you could tell me?” Jennifer asked with the excitement of a child who had eaten too much sugar.

“Jenny, she just got back home. Give her a break, will you?” Alicia said, graciously coming to her rescue. Chris looked at her in gratitude.

“So what’s new? What have I missed?” Chris asked, trying to change the subject.

“Jason’s back in town,” Jennifer said.

Chris turned her attention to Alicia, who sighed and asked, “Jen, don’t you know what it means to respect other people’s privacy?”

“Sorry. It’s just that she asked and you two are friends, so it wasn’t something you weren’t going to mention later on,” Jennifer said.

“It wasn’t your place to tell. Goodness, Jennifer, why do I even bother with you?”

“Hey, come on, you two,” Chris said.

“Get back to work,” Alicia told Jennifer who went back to her desk.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Chris asked.

“Not right now. Plus you just got back, and I know you’re jetlagged.”

“Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here. In the meantime, you’re right and I should go home and get some rest.”

Before Chris left, Alicia asked, “Did you get a chance to talk to your actress friend? Is she going to walk down the red carpet in our design?”

The question prompted Chris to remember what had happened, and to be honest, she wasn’t sure whether Joey was going to do it. Chris hadn’t kept her word, so Joey had no reason to hold up her end of the bargain.

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Did something happen?”

Chris raised her eyebrow, not sure what Alicia meant by that, but it still made her heart skip a beat. “Sorry?”

“Did something happen in New York?”

“Why would you ask me something like that?” Chris felt as though she’d been caught doing something wrong and was trying to conceal it.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that I was afraid—or rather, I am afraid—that New York and its glamour may have lured you back, and now you’re here, and maybe you’re regretting why you left in the first place.”

Understanding Alicia’s insecurities, Chris said, “You’ve got nothing to be afraid of.”

“It’s great to have you back,” Alicia said, having taken a moment too long to respond.

“It’s good to be back,” Chris said.

* * *

“You’re a great cook, you know that?” Tony bit into a juicy piece of steak, and Alicia chuckled at his compliment. “Hey, where’s Robbie? I haven’t seen him,” he asked, and Alicia knew he wasn’t going to like her answer.

Lately, Jason had been such a good father that Robbie couldn’t mask his joy at having his dad back. He was still a child, and it was easy for him to forgive his father. Since Jason was making such a huge effort at trying to make up for lost time, Alicia had approved of Robbie spending the night with him.

She’d checked out his apartment just to make sure Robbie would be safe and had been surprised to see she could actually talk and laugh with him, as though everything that had happened had been swept under the rug.

“He’s not here,” she said.

“Where is he? I haven’t seen him in a while. Every time I come around he’s never here,” Tony said.

Alicia bit her lower lip. “Jason has been picking him up from school. They’ve been spending time together.”

She saw Tony’s features change, and when he failed to say anything, Alicia took advantage of the moment and explained. “Robbie seems happy to have Jason around. He wasn’t confident at first, but after Jason started showing up everyday after school to pick him up, he won Robbie back.” She knew Tony wouldn’t object to Robbie’s happiness.

“So he’s spending the night with him?” he asked in a different tone of voice.

Alicia nodded.

“He’s only been back a week,” Tony said, “and you already trust him with Robbie? The man has no morals. Aren’t you worried about the type of women he might parade in front of Robbie?”

Alicia wanted to believe he was speaking out of care and concern and not out of scorn for Jason. “He wasn’t a good husband,” she said, “but he’s a decent father. He would never do that to his son. Besides, I told Robbie to call me immediately if he wanted to come back home.”

Tony’s uneasiness was evident, and Alicia was running out of ways to reassure him. “He was your best friend, Tony. Can’t you give him the benefit of the doubt?” she asked but he didn’t say anything.

She trusted Jason with Robbie. She knew how much he loved his son and how guilty he felt for never having been there, so she gave that a chance. If he’d come asking for a second chance with her, she would have turned and walked away, never to look back.

Those were two different scenarios. Tony should have been more concerned with the latter, because Alicia knew he was aware that Jason would never do anything to hurt Robbie.

“I hate that he can get away with so much,” he said finally, and on that note, Alicia could agree with him.

“Isn’t there a possibility that you two could ever work things out?” she asked.

“That would force me to make an excruciating effort to forgive and forget everything he’s done to you and Robbie. I don’t think it’s that easy.”

It was kind of him to put them first when Jason had humiliated him, too.

“He’s hurt you, too,” she said, reaching for his hand.

“Not as much as he’s hurt you,” he said, pecking the back of her fingers.

“Oh, Tony. How come some lucky woman didn’t snatch you when they had a chance?” She thought about all the women he’d probably been with. He’d been termed the most eligible bachelor in Cresswell Falls.

“They never had a chance,” he said and something stirred within her when she saw the depth of his words in his eyes.

Everything he felt for her was looking back at her, laying a burden on her scrambled heart and unsorted emotions, and suddenly, it was too much. She snatched away her hand and to cover up, quickly asked, “Did you ever want to do more with your life after you got injured?”

If he noticed her reaction, he didn’t say. “When your dreams die before your eyes, it’s hard to start all over again.” He sounded as though he’d completely given up.

“But you went to college. You must have wanted to do something bigger with your life.” She cut a bit of steak and put it in her mouth, musing over why she’d never asked him this before.

“I dropped out, remember?” he said.

How was it possible that he had no ambition? “Does this mean you want to work in an automotive shop forever?”

He looked at her hopelessly, and she couldn’t help wondering how he could have his life so together yet have such a bleak direction.

“Does it bother you that I’m not the dreamer I once was in high school?” he asked, and she wasn’t sure.

“I’ve thought of doing some things,” he said. “Maybe opening up a business. That’s why I admire you so much. But unlike you, I don’t have a friend and business partner like Chris to reassure me every step of the way. The what-ifs drain away the will to want to make something of myself.”

“But you’ll never know your potential until you try.”

He looked doubtful.

“What kind of business did you think about opening?” she asked, but he shrugged as though it were nothing. “Come on, tell me. I really want to know.”

He looked away as though debating on whether or not he should tell her. At last, he said, “Remember the car-repair garage my dad owned a long time ago, and he shut it down when he got older? He wasn’t rich, but he made a good living. I used to love spending time there, because he’d show me all these cool things. He taught me everything I know about cars. I’ve always wanted to reopen it, but I keep thinking that having a steady job with a steady salary is better than opening up something that I’m not sure will work out. I mean, what if I resign my job and start over, and three months later, I’m flat broke on my ass. What then?”

“I believe in you. I know that when you open it, it’ll be a success,” she said, not even slightly doubting his potential.

“Alicia, come on. You’re only saying that for my benefit.”

“If I was, I wouldn’t care to know what you wanted to do.”

He smiled at her encouragement and started talking about it. “There are so many things I would need, like equipment and heavy machinery that doesn’t come cheap, and I don’t have enough capital to start. I’d have to draft a business plan, take it to the bank for a loan…” He continued talking, and Alicia keenly listened to him, offering suggestions and trying to come up with solutions.

Before the end of their meal, Tony sounded so optimistic that Alicia believed he would start the business. Although she knew nothing about garages, she knew Tony would get a lot of customers. Everyone in Cresswell Falls was fond of him and knew him to be a good and honest man.

“I don’t know why you’ve waited so long to do this,” she told him when they were in the kitchen. He had offered to help clean the dishes, and she wasn’t one to turn down a helping hand.

“I can’t believe you’ve actually talked me into wanting to do it,” he said.

“So what’s the first thing you’re going to do?” she asked as though the final verdict had already been reached.

“What’s the first thing? I don’t know. I need to make a budget so I know how much it’s going to cost me. That way when I go to a bank, I know how much to ask for.”

“What if I offered to help you out financially? Like a loan, which you can pay back once you start making a steady profit?”

“No, I couldn’t do that,” he said.

“Why not? I’d want to think that if I needed any help you’d be there to offer it.”

“You know I would, but that’s Jason’s money and I don’t want any part of it.” He said it in a kind way, but it still stung her. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you’re right. It’s his money. He earned it.” She wasn’t sure why she was so upset, when it was the truth.

She was rich, living in a big expensive apartment, she had more money than she could spend in her bank account, and she’d never done anything to earn it. It was all Jason’s, the settlement fee she’d gotten from him.

“Alicia…” Tony said softly. He dried his hands and placed them on her shoulders.

She relaxed, knowing she had no reason to be upset with him. She should have remembered the money had come from Jason before even offering it. Knowing how Tony felt about him, she should have been the one apologizing for being insensitive.

“I’m sorry,” she said as she turned to face him, and he rewarded her with one of his handsome grins.

“You’ve inspired me, you have nothing to be sorry for.” He slowly leaned down and kissed her.

It still bothered her that she compared his kisses to Chris’s, which triggered the memories awake, and with them, the fiery passion and need—which perished as quickly as it came to life when she remembered it wasn’t Chris she was kissing.

Clasping her hands around Tony’s neck, she allowed herself to explore further. After all, it was something she was going to have to get used to, seeing as her thing with Chris, whatever it was or had been, had somehow died a peaceful but haunting death.

When he deepened the kiss, she obliged him, letting his lips softly search hers. His tongue gently mated with her mouth, and despite the fact that he did nothing to arouse her, she could honestly admit he was a good kisser, if not a great one.

His hands slowly moved from her slender waist, up her ribcage, and when they paused at her breasts, she froze. He pulled away at her reaction.

“I’m sorry. You’re probably not ready for that. I don’t know what came over me.” He started apologizing, but all she felt was embarrassment.

She turned her back to him as involuntary thoughts of Chris touching her in the office entered her mind, and a sweet, painful pleasure settled at her womanhood.

“Alicia,” Tony softly said her name. She turned around and kissed him, leading by taking his hands and placing them over her breasts as the memory of Chris touching her drove a sorrowful and sad sensation down between her legs.

Tony moaned against the kiss as he gently squeezed her breasts and pulled her closer to him. When she felt his manhood press hard against her, memories and thoughts of Chris swiftly disappeared, and abruptly, reality set in.

She broke the kiss and pulled away, covering her face with her hands and berating herself for the games she was playing.

She knew he was looking at her in confusion, waiting for an explanation, and she wasn’t sure she could offer one. She didn’t know what was happening to her body. Why was it rejecting Tony?

“I’m sorry, you’re right. I’m not ready,” she said.

He wrapped his arms around her. “It’s okay. We can take all the time you need,” he said against her ear. She wished she’d never kissed Chris. Perhaps then none of these confusing reactions would have been happening.

Chapter 11

“I’m going home,” Jennifer told Alicia at the end of her working day.

“See you tomorrow,” Alicia said and continued working on her designs.

She was thinking about hiring more staff, preferably people who knew how to make a perfect stitch. She had a lot of designs, and Chris had said she was going to slot them in on a fashion show in New York.

The magazine editor who had interviewed Chris had sent them the pictures she’d posed in for the interview. Alicia couldn’t believe how beautiful they were and how stunning her designs had looked on Chris.

With the pictures, the editor had included a copy of the interview and both Alicia and Chris had agreed that it was great.

The magazine was a couple of days away from being released to the public, and Jennifer had managed to somehow tell the whole town about it so everyone was eagerly waiting.

As for the Hollywood friend who had been supposed to walk down the red carpet in their design, Chris said nothing about her.

Chris had been different since she’d come back. She treated Alicia with such indifference, it felt like she was someone else. She had stopped looking at Alicia in that intense manner that had made Alicia feel like she had butterflies in her stomach.

Most of their conversations revolved around work, and when it got personal, it was to ask how Robbie was doing.

Alicia wondered if anything had happened in New York to change her. Maybe being in her old surroundings made her feel like she was wasting her life, being so far away from what she had been used to.

She looked at the office where Chris usually locked herself when she wasn’t out scouting for shops around the small town to open a clothes store, which Alicia had thought was a great idea.

Initially, they had discussed putting the extra room in the warehouse to use by opening the store there. But they had put that idea to rest for a while because it would disrupt Alicia’s work.

They still had a long way to go because Alicia had barely made enough clothes for a fashion show. To open a clothes store, they needed more merchandise than she had made. They needed to hire more staff to speed up the process.

She had talked about it with Chris, who had agreed to it, but they hadn’t yet started interviewing people for the positions.

 She was deep in thought when Chris stepped out of the office. Her long, gorgeous hair swayed down her back, making Alicia’s fingers twitch in an urge to touch it. Her lovely presence always stunned Alicia. She could have sworn the woman grew more beautiful with each passing day.

“I’ve got some good news for you,” Chris said.

“What?” Alicia asked, not sure what to expect.

“We finally sold your house.”

The announcement pleased her, and at the same time, drove some anxiety through her. As relieved as she was, she couldn’t help feeling a little scared. The life she’d spent with Jason, all those years they had been together, was all finally over.

“I expected a little more enthusiasm,” Chris said with a questioning expression. Alicia smiled at her and said, “I’m happy, I am. It just feels like the end of an era.”

“I guess the fact that it wasn’t entirely bad makes it a bit hard to say good-bye,” Chris said.

“What happened when you went to New York?”

“What do you mean?” Chris asked.

Alicia stopped what she was doing and turned her full attention to Chris. “It’s like you’re the same person, but something’s missing.”

“Nothing happened. I just came back with a clearer state of mind.”

“Does that clearer state of mind include detaching yourself from me?” Alicia wished she could see what Chris was thinking. She seemed to be having a duel in her head with something.

“I’m still here, Alicia, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Wasn’t that the problem? Alicia wondered. That she was still here, but not really? Within the short period of time they had gotten to know each other, she’d had the power to drive insane sensations through Alicia with just a kiss.

The way Chris was now keeping her at arm’s length made Alicia wish she could take that power back and hand it over to someone like Tony who cared and bothered.

She would have given anything to respond to him with genuine passion, with genuine need, but the only person who could trigger that was Chris who apparently wanted nothing to do with it. Even Alicia didn’t know if she herself wanted to explore it.

She’d been curious in the beginning. It had felt so new and foreign and had made her feel things she’d never felt before, but now, it terrified her.

“I should finish up here before I go,” Alicia said, wishing she’d never brought up the topic.

There was no point in trying to figure Chris out. She’d already shut Alicia out. It hurt, knowing there was nothing she could do about it, and worse, knowing she had no claim or right whatsoever to interfere. But as a friend, she wanted to be there for her.

“Alicia,” Chris’s soft voice melted the ice of frustration that was building up inside her, but Alicia was tired of hopelessly watching their friendship deteriorate.

“You know, when Tony touches me…” Alicia took a deep breath that did nothing to calm her. “When he kisses me, it makes me wish you’d never kissed me,” she said, trying to conceal how upset she actually was.

“Alicia.” Chris tried to stop her, but Alicia continued. “If you had never kissed me, I wouldn’t know what it would be like to feel so alive again. Then maybe I would actually feel something for Tony when he kisses me.”

Chris took a step forward but Alicia stepped back, not sure she could handle being so close to her. “I want to fall in love with him, Chris. I want to feel something when he touches me. I want to genuinely look him in the eye and tell him that he makes me as happy as I do him, but I can’t do that. You took that from me.”

Alicia didn’t know how hurt or upset she was until she had spoken out. “I don’t understand it, you know. I mean, when I was with Jason, there was a moment in between when I was truly happy. I was happy because I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know that I could feel more. Right now, I can’t even remember what it was like being with him, because all I can think about is what you made me feel when you kissed me.” She paused to take a breath and closed her eyes, releasing those emotions.

“I don’t know myself anymore, and that terrifies me. I was supposed to find happiness and contentment with Tony, but you ruined it for me.”

Alicia opened her eyes. She had never been able to express herself so clearly, and now that she had, she felt guilty when she saw the broken expression on Chris’s face.

She felt guilty because she was blaming Chris for something she herself had let happen. It wasn’t entirely Chris’s fault. She could have pushed her away at any moment during their encounters, but instead, she’d been so swayed by the newness of her feelings and the strange attraction, that she’d let it happen.

She should have stopped it. She’d had the power to do so, but the intrigue had driven her to want to experience more, and now she was paying for it.

It was too late to take everything back, and it wasn’t something she could apologize for since it was the truth. But she could try to live with it, even though that was bound to be hard now that it was all out in the open.

Unsure of what to do or say, she walked away from Chris and went to get her things so she could leave. Maybe in the morning she’d wake up and it would all be a bad dream.

She’d feel nothing for Chris, she’d stop regretting what had already happened between them, and everything would be right with the world. But she knew it was all wishful thinking.

* * *

Chris couldn’t stop thinking about everything Alicia had said to her that evening. The impact of the words had completely shattered her.

She knew she had hurt a lot of women, but none of them had ever made her heart twist so painfully inside her chest. None of them had ever made her feel like someone had just crushed her heart with a sledgehammer.

Alicia was different. There was a history, a friendship, which was why, standing there, hearing her say all those things made Chris feel like someone had been driving a power saw through her, literally cutting her into pieces. Nothing had ever hurt more.

She lay in bed, replaying those words over and over, letting the impact sink deeper, letting reality take root within her, so she could finally learn a lesson. She felt like her heart was withering within her body, and it was a slow, painful process. Finally, she slept.

When the phone rang and startled her awake, she opened her eyes to the same reality and wished she could leave behind all her duties and just run far away. When it rang a second time, she picked it up and was surprised at how weak her voice was when she spoke.

“Honey, are you okay?” Miranda asked.

“I’m really tired and don’t feel like talking right now.” Chris hung up before her mother could respond.

She tried to force herself back to sleep that night, but morning found her wide awake. She took a long shower, wondering how she would face Alicia. She decided she’d go back to checking out properties for their clothes store and try for as long as possible to avoid going by the office.

At breakfast, Alan and Rosa noticed her distress, but she managed to convince them it was just stress from work.

When she left, she did as she had planned, but time went by so slowly that she found herself walking in through the door to the store. Jennifer giddily greeted her at the entrance and headed out to get her the usual hot cup of coffee with no cream.

Alicia stopped what she was doing when Chris walked in. She looked up and blurted out, “Hi.”

Chris responded with the same awkward greeting, but after standing there and replaying everything that had taken place the night before, she walked past Alicia and went to the office.

After she sat down, Jennifer brought her the hot cup of coffee and after a little small talk, she stepped out.

Chris started going through the plans she’d discussed with Alicia earlier on and tried hard to keep her mind focused on that. She made sure her path didn’t cross Alicia’s, knowing it was probably better to give each other room and space until they could face each other again.

In the evening when she went home, she was so tired that all she wanted was to shower and get in bed.

When she was in the bathroom taking a shower, a soft knock on the door startled her. None of her family ever disturbed her when she was in the bathroom.

The door opened, and she was so completely caught off guard that she froze for a moment.

Her bathroom was partitioned in two by a sliding glass wall, the shower-tub combination on one side and the lavatory area on the other. Since the water was warm, the steam blurred the glass and it was next to impossible to see who had entered.

“Chris?” she heard the voice and instantly recognized it.

As was her blatant nature, Joey slid open the glass. When she saw Chris, she smiled and looked at her in obvious admiration from top to bottom.

“Joey, what the hell are you doing here?” Chris asked in shock. Instead of answering her, Joey said, “What? Aren’t you happy to see me? Come on, give your best friend a hug.”

Chris looked around for a towel. “I’m naked and wet.”

Joey flashed her a seductive grin. “That, I can see.”

Chris, suddenly uncomfortable despite the number of times Joey had seen her naked, said, “Hand me a towel, will you?”

Joey reached behind her for a towel and held onto it. Chris grabbed it from her, wrapped it around herself, and stepped out of the bathroom.

She went to the bedroom with Joey following and asked, “What are you doing here?”

Joey made a disappointed but pleading face, which Chris found herself warming up to. She sighed and groaned as she walked up to Joey and gave her a hug. “Damn it! Despite how much I don’t like you right now, it’s still good to see you,” she said then pulled away.

“You have to like me. I flew to this unknown little town to come see you. You have to give me credit for that.” Joey had a point, though her reason for visiting was still unknown.

“Are you here to bash at my self-esteem some more?” Chris took another towel and started drying her hair.

“I’m sorry for that. I was mean, rude, and selfish. It’s hard trying to keep up with someone like you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re hot, you’re rich, and you’re nice. For some people being nice is a luxury very hard to attain. Some of us let the fame, the glamour, and the fortune go to our head, and we forget to exercise a little human courtesy.”

“So you came here to apologize?”

“And to tell you I’m going to wear your design to the premiere of my movie, which is going to happen next weekend.”

Pleased by the news, Chris hugged Joey again. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. I’m sure I’ll be looking fabulous.”

“You’ll be stunning,” Chris said, hoping it would be as good news for Alicia as it was for her.

“And by the way, I’m sorry for showing up unannounced. It was a last-minute trip. I told your dad to tell you I was here. He let me in.”

“I came straight to my room when I got home. It’s good to see you.”

Joey smiled at her and said, “It was very good to see you, too.”

Chris noticed the innuendo in the tone of her voice and knew she was referring to having seen her naked. “You need to get over me,” she teased, and Joey reached for a pillow on the bed and playfully threw it at her.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she said.

Chris captured the pillow, dropped it on the floor, and she went to the closet and retrieved her pajamas.

“This is a beautiful house,” Joey said. “I didn’t imagine it would be so big.”

Chris used a blow drier on her hair. “How long are you staying? I’d love to show you around town.”

“Three days. Then I have to get back. My agent got me another leading role in a romantic comedy. We start shooting next week.”

Chris finished drying her hair and removed the towel covering her nudity. “That’s enough time for me to take you on a short tour around Cresswell Falls before you go back.”

“Yeah, I’ll finally get to see that waterfall,” Joey said and turned away when Chris started getting dressed. “Chris, I’m standing in front of a stunning model, who just a few minutes ago I saw naked and wet in the bathroom. Seeing you naked all over again does nothing to help.”

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

“I like to see when I have permission,” Joey said.

“Like you just did those few moments ago when you slid open the door in my bathroom?”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“Oh, you succeeded, and if this bothers you right now, well then that’s the price you have to pay for your unwelcome little stunt.” She finished getting dressed and walked over to Joey, whose back was still turned.

“If you look at it from my side,” Joey said, “trust me, it’s a price I don’t mind paying.”

“Does that mean you’re still into me?” Chris whispered next to Joey who hadn’t noticed how close she had been standing.

“It means…” Her voice trailed off.

“Yeah?” Chris asked.

“That I’m attracted to you just like anyone else would be. That’s all it means,” Joey said. Chris started laughing as she moved away from her and got on the bed.

“Where’s your luggage?” she asked when Joey joined her.

“In one of the countless bedrooms in this mansion.”

“I’ll have it moved here. I want you to feel as comfortable as possible.”

“And you think I’ll be comfortable sleeping next to you while sober?”

“Would you rather sleep in one of the countless bedrooms in this mansion?”

Joey shook her head and Chris added, “Besides, my dad has a very fine collection of brandy and wine.”

“Fantastic!” Joey said happily. Chris was genuinely glad she was there. She had already managed to distract her.

They talked awhile, and then Rosa called them down for dinner. Chris formally introduced Joey to them, telling them about how they had met on a set of a photo shoot and how instantly they had bonded.

After dinner, she had Joey’s luggage moved to her room and took a bottle of wine and two glasses from her father’s wine cellar. They went to the bedroom and talked as they indulged themselves in one of the many pleasures life had to offer.

“So after you left, I kept thinking about the last thing we said to each other,” Joey said.

Chris couldn’t remember having discussed anything worth dwelling on that long, but thinking Joey was talking about their bitter exchange, she nodded, letting her lead the conversation.

“I’ve apologized for having been mean to you. I’m sorry but you know me, and you know how I get sometimes. You forgive me, right?” she asked.

Chris thought about how she’d be sulking over what had happened with Alicia had Joey not shown up. “Yeah, I forgive you,” she said.

“Okay then, I want you to be honest. When we were together, with our on-again, off-again escapades, I was always the one who left. I was always the one who met someone and walked away,” Joey said, seeming more vulnerable than she usually was.

“Yeah, and I was fine with that,” Chris said.

“Why?” Joey asked.

“Because you were my friend, and I put your happiness first.”

“But I never hurt you or anything, did I?”

Chris thought back and shook her head. “We were wild and adventurous. It was all fun.”

Joey emptied her glass and Chris refilled it.

“I always came back to you, because I knew you’d never turn me down. I knew you’d always want me, always care, but most of all, I knew you’d always graciously let me go. I never really thought about it, not because I didn’t care about you, but because I knew it’d be easy for you to replace me with someone else whenever I told you I’d met someone new.”

Chris refilled her own glass and wondered where the conversation was leading.

“Whenever I came back to you, it never mattered who you were with or how deep the level of your relationship was. You always pushed them aside for me,” Joey said.

“That’s because I always had so much more fun with you.”

“You’d never turned me away until that morning in your apartment in New York.”

Chris recalled the scenario. Joey had been naked, they had been making out, and then she’d been booking a flight back home.

“I asked you if there was someone else. It was the only explanation I could come up with as to why you’d do that, and now, I want to know the truth.”

“What truth is that?” Chris asked, thinking about what Alicia had said. If there had been anything between them, it was now gone.

“Is there someone else?” Joey asked.

“Honestly?” Chris asked and Joey nodded.

“No, there’s no one else,” she said but Joey didn’t seem to believe her.

“Come on, Chris. I know you.”

“Then you know I’m telling the truth.”

“Are you?”

Chris wondered what she had to do to convince her. “Yes, there’s no one else.”

“Prove it,” Joey dared.

“How?” Chris asked, ready to do the dare.

“Kiss me like you used to.”

Chris knelt up and asked, “How did I used to kiss you?”

Joey sat up on her knees as well, putting her half-empty glass of wine on the table beside the bed and said, “Like there was no one else.”

Chris smiled. The buzz that traveled through her body made her realize she was a little bit drunk.

Determined to prove Joey wrong, she pulled her closer until their lips met. Joey’s kiss was hesitant, almost as though she expected Chris to pull away, but as soon as Chris deepened the kiss and held her closer, she responded.

They had been there before. Their kisses had been sweet and simple. There had never been romance, and they had never complicated it with feelings and emotions.

It had always been as easy as two friends experimenting, and that was all it was for Chris. That was why it didn’t take any effort for her to kiss Joey.

They pulled apart momentarily, and Joey looked into her eyes, searching for something, anything. Chris looked back at her, and the image of Alicia came to her mind.

Joey knew her in and out. She knew even the gravest of secrets hidden in the cracks of Chris’s entire life, and she was still there.

The only thing Alicia knew was what Chris let her see. Maybe because she was too ashamed to reveal her past, maybe because she was afraid Alicia would reject her, or because she was afraid of getting hurt. But here she was, with the one person who had never done any of those things.

“What are you thinking about?” Joey asked. Chris chased away her thoughts.

“I’m wondering why I never fell for you,” she said, and Joey leaned close and kissed her again.

Chris pulled her closer, and Joey got on her lap as Chris laid her back on the bed. Something was lacking. Chris knew that, but she compensated for it with the lust of being with a willing, attractive woman.

She rhythmically explored Joey’s lips with her own, teasing the roof of her mouth with the tip of her tongue, as Joey responded to her with a soft moan.

“You’ve never kissed me like this before,” she said against Chris lips.

“Do you still want me to kiss you like I used to?”

“No, this is better.”

At the words, Chris tugged at her lower lip, then broke the kiss to follow a trail down her neck. She laid soft moist kisses over Joey’s throat, inwardly wondering how it would be with Alicia for the first time.

She’d be gentle, like she was with Joey at that moment. She’d take her time, laying emphasis on foreplay by slowly pulling up her top, as she was doing with Joey, then she’d plant soft kisses over her flat belly and tease her navel with her tongue.

Joey moaned in arousal as Chris pulled up the top as far as her ribs and continued to kiss her body.

This was very different from their past sexual encounters. Their foreplay had never been that nice, or that slow. Usually when they had been together and turned on, they would have skipped the niceties and gone straight to sex.

Chris ran her hands over Joey’s body and placed a kiss on her nipple against the fabric of her top.

She thought of how she’d try to make the moment last longer, being Alicia’s first time, letting her enjoy the full thrill of being touched by another woman in a manner that a man never could.

She pulled the top over Joey’s head, and after throwing it down on the floor, cupped Joey’s ample breasts as she replaced her hands with her mouth. She gently suckled her nipples and positioned her body on top of Joey so that they were entwined together.

She imagined how Alicia would writhe under her as Joey was doing, and suddenly turned on, she reached for the belt on Joey’s jeans and unbuckled it, easing down her pants together with her panties.

She let Joey remove her pajamas, letting their naked bodies rub against each other as Chris continued to tease her with her hands and lips. She parted Joey’s legs and ran her fingers over the short dark curls of her womanhood, then leaned lower and kissed Joey as though those lips were kissing her back.

Everything was different, even the way Chris kissed her. It wasn’t sweet or simple; it was great. In all the times they had been together, Joey could never remember Chris being so gentle with her.

But now, she moaned in joy and bit her lower lip in an unsuccessful attempt to lower the volume and pitch of her moans. She’d never screamed a woman’s name out loud before in bed, but at that moment, it was like she had always done so.

The way Chris made love to her was so unlike her, so unexpected, that when multiple orgasms claimed her body, she felt like she’d gone into shock.

Earlier on, she had been afraid she might have been replaced by someone else in Chris’s life, but that fear disappeared with the last moan that escaped her lips.

Chris held her afterwards, neither one saying a word as Joey pondered Chris’s earlier statement. I’m wondering why I never fell for you.

Joey had always been afraid that Chris would one day break her heart. That was why she’d always settled for casual sex with no strings attached. Best friends with benefits, as she liked to call it.

Earlier on she’d asked if she’d ever hurt Chris, who had said no. The truth was, Chris’s actions had always hurt her.

All those fruitless attempts she’d made to move on, to once and for all cut herself free from Chris, had been in vain, because the moment she’d walked out, another woman had been in Chris’s bed.

That was why, in a moment of hurt in the apartment back in New York, she’d used Miranda’s lifestyle to define that of Chris’s.

She’d always thought that one day she’d go to leave and Chris would stop her, tell her that she couldn’t stand back anymore and watch her walk out of her life. But that had never happened, and because she cared so deeply for Chris, cared so deeply that she’d always been in love with her, she’d always gone back to her.

Chris had always taken her back once her relationships ended, and a part of Joey wanted to believe that deep down, it was because Chris loved her, too.

After they had spent those three days together in New York, and after the way she’d left, Joey had promised herself that she would make things right between them. What she hadn’t expected was to be lovingly ravished in a manner that only made what she already felt grow.

She’d thought she knew all there was to know about Chris, but that night was proof there was more she was still unaware of.

The problem with people like Chris though, was that at one moment they could do something so incredibly surprising, and the next moment turn around and go back to who they truly were. That was one of the reasons why Joey could never let herself express what she felt for Chris. It was also why she was going to continue being the wild and crazy best friend she’d always been.

Chapter 12

Chris woke up the following morning feeling like her old self. She was surprised at how much she missed being so carefree and spontaneous.

It was later than she usually woke up, and she knew the amount of alcohol she had consumed had something to do with that. The good part, however, was that she didn’t have a hangover.

“Good morning, Maggie,” she said when she went down for breakfast.

Joey hadn’t been in bed when she’d woken up. She was curious to find out where she’d disappeared to.

“Good morning, Christina.”

She took the cup of coffee Maggie was handing to her and asked, “Have you seen Joey?” Maggie handed her a plate of cookies, which she was not in the mood for, but to please her, she took a piece.

“If you mean the young woman who arrived last night, she’s in the pool.”

At the answer, Chris took her coffee and cookie and headed to the back of the house where the pool was.

Joey was doing a slow backstroke. Chris imagined the water must have been cold since it was ten in the morning and the sun was just lazily rising.

“You blew off a warm bed for a cold swim?” she asked as she sat on the sunbathing seat and watched Joey.

“Come on, get in here. The water’s wonderful,” Joey said.

“No, I’d rather finish off my hot cup of coffee first.”

“You know, C-Falls is not such a bad place to live.” Joey moved her wet hair from her face, and Chris raised her eyebrows at the nickname.

“C-Falls?”

“Yeah, the weather is beautiful and this place is so quiet and relaxing.”

“Wait until you meet the inhabitants.” Chris wondered whether Rosa and her dad were around.

“Your folks are great. Maggie was a little too motherly, but she’s fine, and the other workers around the house are too quiet, but they know when to leave you alone.”

Chris laughed at her observation. “Maggie is too motherly?”

“Yeah, she fed me all these cookies and set the dining table with all this food, saying I needed to grow into my bones. Then when I came for a swim, she was overly concerned about how cold the water was. She barely knows me, and she treats me better than my own mother ever did.”

Chris was laughing as she spoke. “So you like that she expressed concern over how skinny you are?”

Joey got out of the pool, exposing the blue, two-piece bikini she was wearing, and went to sit beside Chris. “That’s more concern than my own mom ever expressed.” She covered herself with a towel, grabbed the coffee Chris was drinking, and took a sip.

“You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want. Maggie will spoil you with as much concern as you desire.”

Joey looked up at the cloudy sky and relaxed. “This would have been a nice place to grow up. You would have been safe here. Your dad and stepmom would have doted on you, and your little sister, Drew, could have grown up knowing how amazing you are.”

“Come on, let’s not talk about that.” Chris tried not to think about the life she wished she’d had.

“Let’s talk about last night,” Joey said, and Chris chuckled when she leaned close and kissed her neck.

“Last night was fun,” she said when Joey leaned even closer and circled her arms around her waist.

“Fun? It was more than that. You’ve never been like that with me before.”

“Would you have preferred I hadn’t?”

Joey failed to answer.

“Sorry, I’m confused, is that a yes or a no?” Chris asked. Joey touched her face, slowly trailing her fingers over Chris’s cheek, and then she kissed her.

Neither one of them could blame their night together on the alcohol because their kiss was still soft and gentle. When Joey started unbuttoning her pajama shirt, Chris stopped her, reminding her they were in a house that had a lot of workers and anyone could walk in on them.

“Let’s go back up to your room,” Joey said against her ear, and Chris got up.

They went to her bedroom, and before they could even shut the door, Joey had already fully undressed and was taking off Chris’s last garment of clothing.

Chris pressed her against the door and quickly ran her hands over Joey’s body as she kissed her lips.

“I don’t want you to make love to me,” Joey said. “I want you to fuck me.”

This time Chris did not picture herself with Alicia. She pinned Joey against the door and parted her legs, quickly finding the spot she was looking for.

Joey moaned against the door as Chris lifted her off the ground, giving herself more access. Joey broke the kiss and buried her face in her shoulder while Chris moved inside her.

Chris was her old self again, and rather than be afraid, she was okay because she was with the only person who really knew her. She unleashed that boundless persona and passionately claimed Joey’s lips.

When Joey arched back her head and trembled in her arms, Chris pulled her back and kissed her. She couldn’t run away from her old self anymore. It was what had made her who she was.

The only reason she’d succeeded in rejecting that part of herself in New York was because she’d been upset. Now, as she stood there, panting for breath and letting her body relax from the adrenaline that had just coursed through her, she realized that she couldn’t change.

“You were wonderful,” Joey said as she pulled away and went to lie down on the bed.

Chris looked at her beautiful body as Joey slid under the covers and closed her eyes.

“Get in here,” Joey said.

Instead, Chris took the towel Joey had been wearing and headed to the bathroom. “I have to get ready for work. I’m already late.”

“Can’t you blow it off for me? I’m only here for a couple more days.”

“No, I can’t. You can come with me and see where I work, meet my partner,” Chris said from the bathroom, and Joey got out of bed.

“When do you plan to show me around?” she asked.

“On Saturday, the day after tomorrow. Now, are you just going to stand there or are you going to join me?”

At the question, Joey entered the bathroom and went into Chris’s arms.

They got to the office a few hours later, and Chris was surprised to see how much Joey was enjoying Cresswell Falls.

After she parked the car, she got out and asked Joey, “How come you’re so relaxed here when you’re almost always anxious when we’re out during daylight in other places?”

“The lack of paparazzi makes it easier for me to just kick back and be myself. My PR is always telling me about what to do and what not to do in public to safeguard my image. Here, in this small town, I’m almost convinced that no one has ever heard of me. I don’t know if that insults me or just speaks little of C-Falls.”

Chris got out of the car and put on her sunglasses. “Don’t be so sure. We may not have paparazzi, but trust me, once someone sees you, they will recognize you. Within the span of an hour, the whole town will know you’re here, and the local media will probably be all over you.”

Joey made a face. “Why do you have to rain on my parade?”

Chris smiled at her expression and walked towards the entrance of the building. The moment she walked in with Joey close behind her, Jennifer screamed, much like the time Chris had come back home from New York.

“Oh my!” She looked like a child who had just been given a shiny new toy.

Joey removed her sunglasses and looked at Chris with a questioning expression.

“You’re Joey Bradford! I just saw you in Traded Secrets,” Jennifer said, referring to a movie Joey had done a few years back. Chris mentally rephrased the statement she’d made earlier on. It was going to take less than an hour for the whole town to know Joey was around.

“This is Jennifer, our personal assistant,” Chris said as she searched the room for Alicia. She saw movement in the office and guessed she must be in there.

“Hello, Jennifer, it’s nice to meet you,” Joey said.

“I don’t want to sound childish, but can I please have your autograph?” Jennifer asked.

At that moment, Alicia walked out of the office and approached them. A look of recognition came over her face when she saw Joey, but she was more reserved and barely reacted to the international celebrity in the room.

“Joey, this is Alicia Mathews. She’s the designer and my business partner. Alicia, this is Joey, the friend I had mentioned earlier.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Alicia said, and Joey glanced back at Chris.

“It’s great to meet you, too. Chris says you’ll make me look stunning on the red carpet.” She examined the racks stocked with gorgeous designs. “Oh my goodness! Chris wasn’t kidding when she said you were good.” Joey touched the soft fabric on one of the designs.

“Thank you,” Alicia said.

“While she’s here, you can take her measurements and start making her dress,” Chris suggested and Alicia nodded.

“Joey?” Jennifer said and Joey turned to her.

“What was it like acting next to such a hunk of a man in Traded Secrets?”

Joey chuckled. “Nick Kendall?” she asked as Alicia proceeded to take her measurements. Jennifer nodded dreamily. “It was okay.”

“Just okay?” Jennifer asked.

“Jenny,” Chris said, “Joey spends so much time around actors and actresses like herself, you have to understand that’s something she’s used to.”

“Are you saying that being around such people and being around us makes no difference?” Jennifer asked. Chris left the question for Joey to answer.

“There’s a big difference. Being around you makes me feel like a star, while being around them makes me feel like a shadow of a star,” Joey said.

Chris and Alicia got the humor in the statement and laughed along, but Jennifer looked at Joey in confusion.

“So how long have you two known each other?” Jennifer asked. Joey looked at Chris, silently telling her to answer as Alicia finished taking the measurements.

“Years,” Chris said, “since when I was just starting out as a model.”

“How did you two meet?”

“At a photo shoot in Milan,” Joey said. “Chris was the face of a fragrance that had just come out, called ‘Naked Fury,’ and I was there shooting a movie. We had the same photographer, and his assistant mistakenly scheduled us both for a shoot at the same time, which would have turned into a big thing had we not liked each other.”

“How would it have turned into a big thing?” Jennifer asked. Joey looked at her. “Oh, honey, there’s so much you need to learn about the fashion industry.”

Chris giggled at her answer.

“Alicia, will you be able to come up with a sketch for my dress before I leave?” Joey asked. Alicia was writing down the measurements she’d taken.

“You’ve already seen her work,” Chris said, “so you’re confident that she’ll make you outshine the rest of the stars. You don’t need a sketch to reassure yourself.”

After that, Chris and Joey disappeared into the office.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to do it in an office.” Joey sat down on the desk and seductively ran her index finger over it.

“I would have thought that’s something you’d already done.” Chris walked past her to sit down.

“It is, just not with you,” Joey said, turning to face Chris.

“Ouch!”

“So what’s your deal with that short-haired blonde?” she asked.

“That short-haired blonde’s name is Alicia Mathews, and she’s my business partner.”

“Aren’t you two friends?”

“We are.”

“Then how come there’s so much tension between you?”

Chris knew Joey was more likely to notice it than Jennifer was. What did she want to hear? Did she want to know if they had slept together?

“I thought you were smart enough to know that you shouldn’t sleep with your business partner,” Joey said when Chris failed to answer.

“I haven’t slept with her!” Chris said and Joey started laughing. She walked around the desk and sat beside Chris.

“Why are you getting so worked up? Is it because you want to sleep with her and haven’t? Or because you want to but can’t?” she teased.

Chris looked at her, not sure whether there was an answer for such a question.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think she has a thing for you, too,” Joey said.

“Shut up.” Chris felt like she was in high school all over again, and her friends were teasing her about a boy she liked, or in her case, a girl.

“Oh my!” Joey dramatically put her hands over her mouth to express feigned shock. “You like her!”

Chris, not sure she could take it anymore, got up from her chair. “Maybe we should start you off on that tour today, like right now,” she said and walked away from Joey.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that this is a first. I’ve never seen you in like before. Usually you meet a girl and sleep with her, stay together for a week or less, then it’s over. Liking someone and not doing anything about it, well, for you, it’s a shocker,” Joey said, putting too much emphasis on the two dreaded words.

“If you don’t stop teasing me, I’ll personally call your travel agent and book you a flight back right now.”

“Oh, come here,” Joey said.

She hugged Chris, who felt like she was still teasing her, rather than actually consoling her.

“She’s not your type anyway,” Joey said. Chris remembered there was a time when she’d actually thought the same thing.

“What makes you say that?” she asked, wanting to know if they shared the same reasoning.

“She’s too sweet and beautiful for you,” Joey said, and Chris realized she was still teasing her.

She pulled away from her and went back to sit down on her chair.

“Okay, I’m done now. No more teasing,” Joey said. She walked over to her and smoothed back Chris’s hair.

“I don’t like you very much right now,” Chris said.

“You love me and you know it.” Joey planted a kiss on her lips.

Chris tugged at her shirt and kissed her again. While still kissing, Joey got up, pulled Chris along with her, and sat on the desk, perfectly positioning Chris between her legs.

“You seriously want to do it on my desk?”

“What does it look like?” Joey opened her own top, kissed Chris again, and audaciously pulled her hands up to cup her breasts.

“I can’t. We can’t. Alicia and Jennifer are right in the other room.” Chris was already running her hands over Joey’s body despite what she was saying.

“How will they know?” Joey asked against her lips, and Chris pulled back.

“I’m surprised you’d ask that, knowing you almost woke up everyone in the mansion last night.”

Joey giggled. “Would you rather I didn’t moan?”

Chris ran her fingers underneath Joey’s bra, touching the sensitive flesh of her breasts and raining soft kisses over her neck.

“I like your moaning just fine. But I’m concerned for the rest of the people in the building.”

“Since when did that matter?”

“Since one of them became my business partner and the other one is my very gossipy employee.”

“Are you sure it’s not just the short-haired blonde?”

Before Chris could answer, the door opened and Alicia stepped in. Both Chris and Joey turned to see the surprise registered across her face when she realized what she’d just walked in on, and then very quickly, she stepped out.

Chris pulled away from Joey and groaned in frustration, knowing that Alicia had just gotten another reason to be mad at her.

“I’m guessing that wasn’t good.” Joey started buttoning up.

“You think?”

“Why don’t you just go and talk to her?”

“And say what, exactly?”

“I don’t know, but lay the blame on me if you have to.”

“No,” Chris said and left the office.

Alicia was nowhere in sight so she walked over to Jennifer and asked, “Where’s Alicia?”

“I don’t know. She just stormed out of here like the place was on fire or something.”

Chris ran out of the building and was met by the townsfolk and several photographers at the entrance. As the photographers started taking pictures, she wondered if that had anything to do with why Alicia had come into the office to see her. She walked back in and asked Jennifer, “When did all these people get here?”

“I told a friend that Joey Bradford was here. She must have shared the news with the rest of our friends.”

“You mean with the rest of the town.” Chris rushed back to the office. “We have to get out of here,” she told Joey who was comfortably seated behind her desk.

“Why?”

“Because the whole town heard you were here, and they’re standing out there with photographers.”

“Oh, just when I was starting to enjoy myself.” Joey got up and followed Chris. She peeked out through the window to see the large number of people out there. “Can’t we just stay here and wait for them to leave?”

“If we stay here, more people will continue to show up.” Chris put her sunglasses back on. She opened the door, and when they stepped out, a local news reporter started bombarding them with questions.

The townsfolk cheered Joey’s name as Chris quietly led her to the car. The crowd followed closely behind while the photographers continued snapping pictures.

“Sometimes I hate being so famous,” Joey said when she got in the car and Chris slowly drove away. She tried not to run anyone over, though she was tempted to.

“I don’t blame you,” she said, heading to the mansion. No one would be able to get through the security there.

Chapter 13

“You look so gorgeous in these pictures. You know, I always thought Danielle had a girl crush on you,” Joey told Chris while she looked through the Glimpse magazine.

“Girl crush?”

“Yeah, it’s what a straight girl crush is called.”

“What do you think of the interview?”

“You know what makes it good? The fact that it’s not gossip and it’s not in a tabloid magazine. Glimpse is an internationally known and respected fashion magazine, so your business just got popular.”

“Do I detect a hint of envy?”

“Tabloids have a way of exploiting every little situation and turning it into a public scandal. For once I’d like to be the one on the cover of a respected magazine like you.”

“Wow! Admiration?” Chris read through the interview for what felt like the twentieth time.

“What does Alicia have to say about this?” Joey asked.

“I don’t know. Since she walked in on us yesterday, we haven’t had a chance to talk.”

“Well, at least your personal assistant is having the best time of her life, telling the whole town she works for you now that you’re famous all over again.”

Chris put down the magazine and looked at Joey. They were outside the house settled on the sunbathing seats near the pool in their bikinis. Chris felt bad, because since they’d gotten back to the mansion, they hadn’t been able to leave.

“What is that look?” Joey asked as she sat up.

“I’m sorry I haven’t gotten a chance to show you around.”

“Hey, I’m leaving the day after tomorrow. We still have plenty of time.”

“But you’ll hardly enjoy yourself with all these photographers following us around and the townsfolk shamelessly staring.”

“Do you have any wigs?”

The question made Chris wonder what that had to do with what they were discussing but she nodded anyway.

“We’ll send out decoys, disguise ourselves, and go out and still have a good time.”

“Decoys and disguise? Has it really gotten to that?”

“It’s the only way we’ll manage to do what you have planned for us tomorrow.”

Since there was no other choice, and it wasn’t an entirely bad idea, Chris gave in.

* * *

“Alicia, it’s Saturday, what are you doing at work?” Jason asked.

He was the last person she’d expected to walk in through that door.

“What normal working people do on Saturdays,” she answered, wishing he would leave her alone.

She’d gone to work to keep her mind busy, and she was avoiding company because all everyone could talk about was Chris and Joey.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I came to see where you work and to check on how you’re doing. Just because we’re divorced doesn’t mean I don’t care anymore,” he said and idly walked around the room.

“I’m fine,” she said.

“I keep hearing things about your business partner, Christina Brewster. Is she someone I know?”

“Yeah, actually, you hit on her right in my face that night when we bumped into each other at that bar.”

He ran his fingers through his short hair and blushed. “I was such a jerk. I’m so sorry,” he said, but she wasn’t interested in his apologies. Actually, she wasn’t interested in anything except the dress she was busily working on.

“It happened, it’s over, just forget about it,” she said.

“How are things with Tony?” he asked.

“Everything is great.” A chill of resentment washed over her when she recalled Chris’s and Joey’s love scene in her office. She was still trying to convince herself that it didn’t bother her and that she was over Chris.

“Alicia.”

She looked up at him.

“Yeah?”

“Can we have lunch together sometime?”

“Are you asking me out?” she asked and saw him panic. Her thoughts had been so far away that she hadn’t picked up on the underlying emotions in his voice.

“No, not out like a date thing.”

She may still have been new to the whole dating scene, but she recognized it when someone was asking her out.

“Out,” he said, “like I want to know what has been going on in your life since we got a divorce type of thing.”

“Jason, I’m flattered but you know I’m seeing Tony now.”

“Uh, yeah, I just…”

He hesitated and she took that chance to ask, “Hey, do you think you’ll ever play baseball again?”

“I doubt any team would gamble on me after what happened.” He sounded relieved at the change of subject.

“What do you plan to do now? Will you stay in Cresswell Falls?” She had an idea, and she knew he wasn’t going to like it.

“I haven’t figured out that part yet, but yeah, I’m staying here.”

“You used to hang out with Tony at his dad’s garage when you two were growing up, didn’t you?”

He nodded.

“He’s talking about reopening it, and I think he might be interested in a partner.”

There was a high chance he would say no, and Tony might be mad at her for even voicing the idea to Jason, but she knew what she was doing. If she could get them in a room together, maybe there was a chance they could reconcile.

“I doubt he’d want to work with me. After the way I treated him? Even I wouldn’t want to work with me,” Jason said.

“Well, it was just a suggestion. Think about it. It would give you a chance to talk and mend things between you.”

He didn’t have a lot of friends in Cresswell Falls, seeing as he’d gotten so arrogant after he’d gotten rich and famous, so Alicia knew he could use a friend.

“Do you think he’d forgive me?” he asked.

“I forgave you,” she said, trying to show him what he had done to her had been far worse.

“What if he finds out that I asked you out?” he said in a teasing voice.

She smiled at him and said, “He won’t.”

“Thanks Alicia,” he said and she watched him go.

* * *

“You look like the Mona Lisa,” Chris said to Joey while she drove down the road.

They had sent two female workers out the gate as decoys, and when the photographers had followed after them, the wigs had come in handy and they had managed to leave the house undetected.

Chris removed her brunette one and threw it in the backseat.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Joey said as she removed her own wig.

“I don’t know, but I doubt I intended it as one.”

Joey laughed and looked at Chris while she drove.

“What? Did I hurt your feelings?” Chris asked.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“You say that as though you’re dying. Come on. I’ll come to New York or Los Angeles whenever I can.” Chris was going to miss Joey, too.

Within the last few days they had spent together, Joey had managed to completely distract her.

“The romantic comedy I told you I’d be working on will be filmed in New Zealand and several parts of Europe. After the premiere of my new movie, I’ll be away for almost a year.”

That news startled Chris. They had never been apart for so long. There were times when they had traveled together during the making of some of Joey’s movies while Chris had been off work, but this time, everything was different. She had a full-time job that she couldn’t put aside to go away with Joey.

“That sucks,” she said when she managed to speak.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I’ll try and call as often as possible, even though you know I can’t stand technology,” Joey said, and the rest of the way, Chris drove silently.

They got to Cresswell Falls half an hour later. Chris remembered how wonderful it had felt when she’d last been there with Alicia. Would things between them ever be okay again? Everything was spiraling out of control.

“This is magnificent!” Joey walked over to the protective railing to watch the waterfall.

“Be careful, that railing is old and could easily break.” Chris sat on top of her car and leaned back against the glass.

“Is that your way of telling me I’m fat?” Joey asked playfully and Chris started laughing.

“There isn’t an ounce of fat on you.”

“I hate that I always have so much fun when I’m with you,” Joey said and walked over to the car. She sat beside Chris and leaned back against the glass. “I miss it so much when we’re apart, and sometimes I wonder if we’ll still be this way even after we’ve moved on from each other.”

“From how my life is going,” Chris said, “I doubt I’ll ever move on in any other terms except business.”

“I can tell you two like each other, you know?” Joey said.

“What are you talking about?”

“Alicia. I saw how you two were looking at each other.”

“And how is that?”

“I’ve never seen you look at anyone else the way you look at her.”

When she failed to comment, Joey added, “I can’t speak for her because I barely got to know her, but from the way she reacted when she saw us together, I think she was jealous.”

Chris closed her eyes, not sure she wanted to talk about Alicia with Joey. “She’s my business partner, and that’s all she’ll ever be.”

“If there was a chance it could work, you want to tell me you wouldn’t give it a try?” Joey turned to look at Chris.

“Even if I did, things would never work out between us. Besides, she’s not even my type.”

“What about her isn’t your type? And what makes you think it wouldn’t work?”

Chris got off the car and gestured with her hands as she said, “Many things. She’s too conservative, too reserved, too sweet, and a little bit naïve. And it’d never work because she’s straight, and she has an ex-husband and a son.”

Joey stretched herself over the car, using up the space Chris had evacuated. “You think she’s too good for you? And since when did a little responsibility start scaring you off? I’ve seen you with kids and you’re great, and if she was straight, why would she act like she had feelings for you?”

Chris ambled over to the railing and leaned her chin against a wood support as she stared at the falls and listened to the sound of the gushing water.

“If you asked me, I’d say you’re just scared you’ll get hurt because you like her. This is new for you. Right now it’s scary, but you’ll grow into it.”

“Since when did you become such an expert?” Chris deeply inhaled the thick musk in the air.

When Joey didn’t answer, she turned around and broke into laughter when she saw how comfortably and flexibly sprawled she was on the car.

“Yeah? Is it doing anything for you?” Joey asked.

“Will you ever stop flirting with me?” Chris asked.

“When you hook up with her, I’ll consider stopping.”

“What if I don’t want to give you up?”

“You’ll have to, darling. You can’t have it all. Plus, I’ll finally seriously consider moving on.”

“Are you saying you’re still unattached because I’m unattached?”

“That sounds crazy, desperate, and obsessive, and we both know I’m none of that.”

Chris turned back to the waterfall, knowing that was Joey’s way of telling her she wasn’t going to answer.

“Listen, what I said about your mother, and you being just like her, I didn’t mean that.”            

“Forget about it,” Chris said. She would have to deal with that herself when it didn’t bother her too much to remember.

When Joey left to film her movie, she’d be alone and she’d have no choice but to think about it and probably even confront it.

She’d also have to talk to Alicia to try to explain what she’d seen. She was more afraid of talking to Alicia than she was of confronting her mother.

* * *

“I don’t want to say good-bye,” Joey said at the airport the following day.

“I know and neither do I.”

“Don’t forget the movie premiere is on Sunday. You have to send me the dress before then, otherwise my fashion stylist will dress me up in something by someone else.”

“I won’t forget. I’m sure Alicia is almost done working on it. It should arrive a day or two before the premiere.”

Once they had said all there was to say, Joey hugged her and Chris held on to her longer than she’d intended.

“I’ll call you when I arrive,” Joey said.

Chris let her go and stood there, watching as she took her luggage and walked away. When she disappeared, Chris waited a while longer and then left the airport.

It was still hard to believe that they wouldn’t see each other for so long. Suddenly, thinking about it made her miss Drew.

They communicated often, though it wasn’t barely enough, but in Drew’s case, Chris had to give her the space because she was in school, studying.

As she drove home, she wondered if her friendship with Joey would change over the course of the time they were going to spend apart.

The following day Chris went to work and was glad the people had gotten tired of parading around her building. She found Jennifer at her desk, and as usual, as soon as she walked in, Jennifer ran out to get her the morning cup of coffee.

Alicia wasn’t in yet. She could tell because the clothes she’d been working on were not on display. She went to the office and a few minutes later, Jennifer came in with her cup of coffee.

“Did Joey leave?” she asked and Chris nodded.

“That’s a shame. We loved having her here.”

“I really don’t feel like talking right now,” Chris said when Jennifer continued to stand there. Jennifer nodded and left.

When two hours passed and Alicia hadn’t arrived, Chris grew concerned. Alicia was rarely late, and when she knew she would be, she always called.

“Did Alicia say she’d be late?” she asked Jennifer an hour later.

“No, I’ve been trying her cell, but it keeps going to voicemail.”

Chris took her cell phone and her car keys and went outside. She dialed Ellen, who answered on the first ring.

“Ellen, it’s Chris. Did something happen to Alicia?” Chris got in her car and waited for Ellen’s response.

“It’s Robbie. Apparently Jason fed him peanut butter without remembering he was allergic to it. We’re at St. Mary’s hospital.”

Chris hung up and drove there in fifteen minutes. Once she was in the hospital, Ellen saw her and came to her.

“He’s Robbie’s father, how could he not remember?” Chris asked. They walked over to Tony who was pacing back and forth, obviously angry.

“That’s what we’re all wondering. Alicia and Jason are in there with Robbie,” Ellen said, sounding upset.

“Is he okay?” Chris asked in concern.

“The doctor says he’s going to be fine. His face was a bit swollen, but it’s gone down now,” Ellen said.

When Jason came out carrying Robbie in his arms with Alicia beside him, Chris thought how beautiful a family the image made.

“Robbie, how are you feeling, buddy?” Tony asked as he took the boy from Jason.

Jason’s guilt was all over his face, which Chris thought served him right. As a father he should have remembered that simple fact about his own son.

“I’m okay, Tony,” Robbie said.

“Does it hurt?” Chris asked.

Robbie shook his head. “No, not anymore.”

“Are you all right?” Tony asked Alicia as he placed his arm around her.

“I’m fine.” She looked at Chris. Their gazes locked for a second, and then Tony kissed her forehead and she looked away.

“Come on, let’s go home,” Tony said. Alicia closed her hand around his and left the hospital with Ellen following.

Chris turned towards Jason. She wanted to put him in his place, but when she saw the broken look on his face as he watched Tony leave with his family, she walked away. She didn’t need to say anything. It was punishment enough to watch the people he loved belonging to someone else.

* * *

Alicia looked at the completed dress that the famous and adored Joey Bradford was going to be wearing at the premiere of her movie.

It profoundly pleased her that she was designing gorgeous gowns for celebrities, first the Glimpse spread and now the premiere. She imagined how stunning Joey would look in the chocolate-colored, strapless, curve-hugging, satin gown, and her heart skipped a beat.

She had dreamed of such a moment: the red carpet, an Alicia Mathews gown, photographers taking pictures, and the rest of the fashion world taking notice of her. She imagined fashion shows with the models walking down the runway in her creations, and the very thought almost gave her a panic attack. It was finally possible.

“That dress makes me wish I was still walking down the runway.”

She looked up and saw Chris standing at the office door. Feeling slightly self-conscious, Alicia wondered how long she had been standing there.

“I think it’s ready. I hope Joey likes it,” she said.

“Are you kidding? She’s going to love it.”

“Well, you can send it first thing tomorrow morning.”

The pictures in Glimpse had been gorgeous. A lot of people were talking about the new line, saying they couldn’t wait to see what else Alicia was going to come up with.

“You looked beautiful in the magazine,” she added, remembering she hadn’t had the chance to tell Chris.

Even though she had seen the pictures before the magazine had come out, seeing Chris’s face in it and in their fashion line was breathtaking.

“It was all thanks to you.” Chris slowly made her way towards Alicia.

“I think you’d be the perfect pick to represent the face of this company,” Alicia said. “You’ve seen my designs, and they look great on you. Owning part of the company and being aware of exactly what you had to work with would be an advantage.” Alicia wondered why they should hire a random model when they had one in their midst.

“I don’t know if I want to go back to modeling again,” Chris said.

“You’d only be doing it for the company. You don’t have to take it up full time. I just think it would be easier for us. We can begin with you as the face of our starting line, and we can discuss hiring someone else later on.” Alicia prepared to leave. “Just take some time to think about it.”

“Hey, how is Robbie doing?”

“He’s okay. It’s Jason I’m worried about.”

“Why? Did he do something else?” Chris asked.

Alicia looked at her, clearly reading the concern in her eyes. “No, he’s fine. It’s just that after what happened, he keeps asking me every little thing about Robbie. He’s afraid of being alone with him in fear of something like that happening again.”

She wanted to walk out and leave their situation as it was, but her concern for Chris had her asking, “How are you doing?”

Chris looked at her but didn’t answer.

“Chris, I’m sorry for what I said. I was upset. I felt like you were shutting me out, and I got caught up in the moment. You were the only other person I could talk to, and it was hard knowing I was losing that. I don’t want to be feeling awkward around you all the time.”

“Neither do I,” Chris said.

Alicia stretched out her hand. “Friends?”

Chris closed her own hand over Alicia’s. “Friends.”

After the softness of their hands merged, Alicia looked at the union and then gently withdrew.

“Would you like to grab something to eat?” Chris asked.

“I’m sorry, but I already made plans with Tony.”

“How about tomorrow?”

Alicia hesitated for a moment, not sure whether being alone together would be such a good idea. She wanted Chris back as a friend, but she feared what she felt whenever they got too close.

“Sure,” she answered anyway, then added, “I have to pick up Robbie from Jason’s.” She turned and walked out.

Being around Chris again scared her. It might open the portal of disturbing emotions and desires she’d denied and rejected.

As she drove to Jason’s apartment, she asked herself which would be easier: being friends with Chris and getting along, or being just business partners and working around each other in complete awkwardness. That was why she’d opted for friendship. She missed that part of Chris that had constantly reassured her whenever she’d been afraid.

She didn’t want to think about the rest because it would only complicate things. She wanted to believe that the part of her that had been intrigued by Chris had died when she’d walked in on her with Joey.

She’d tried to avoid thinking about that scene, tried not to let it get to her. But every time she thought about how the two women had been together, how perfect they had looked, it reminded her that she needed to think rationally and her rational thinking told her Joey was the kind of woman Chris wanted.

It didn’t matter how they felt when they had kissed or touched or even how it felt just being around each other talking. None of that mattered. The reality was that nothing more would ever come out of it, and she was glad. She doubted she would have been able to deal with the outcome.

Business was great. She enjoyed sketching and bringing those sketches to life. Things with Tony were going well, though he still failed to make her feel what she craved for. Robbie was happy because his father was back in his life, and Jason was making the effort to keep things easy and peaceful.

Every aspect of her life was in order, so why did she feel like something was missing? Why wasn’t she as happy as she had thought she would be? Why was there a void lingering inside her?

She parked and got out of the car, pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind. She pressed the button requesting entrance, and several minutes later, she was climbing the stairs to the third floor.

She’d been there several times and liked the friendly neighborhood. Robbie had expressed how much he loved the bedroom Jason had fixed up for him and how happy he was that his father was finally doing all those things he’d been unable to do when he’d been traveling.

What made Alicia even happier was the way Jason attended Robbie’s baseball games and how all the other kids got excited whenever he took the whole team out for pizza and ice cream to celebrate a win. The other parents tagged along because it made their children so happy.

Alicia pressed the doorbell, and within a second, Jason let her in. Robbie was playing video games on the couch, and it looked like Jason had been playing with him because his pad was on the couch where he’d been seated.

“Having a boys’ game night?” she asked and walked over to Robbie to peck his forehead.

“Yeah, and Robbie is kicking my butt,” Jason said and Robbie laughed at him.

“I let you win,” Robbie said and continued to play.

“That one time?” Jason asked.

“I hate to interrupt, but it’s late and you have school tomorrow so go get your stuff,” she told Robbie who quickly obeyed.

“He’s done his homework, had dinner, showered, and brushed his teeth,” Jason said.

Robbie came back into the room carrying his school bag and gave his dad a hug.

“I’ll walk you guys down,” Jason said.

He picked Robbie up in his arms, and Alicia led the way. When they got to the car, he opened the door, let Robbie in, and stepped back as Alicia drove away.

When she got home, she found Tony waiting for her outside the building. He kissed her on the lips and took a sleeping Robbie in his arms. Once they got to the apartment, Tony tucked Robbie in with Alicia watching beside him, and they went back to the living room.

Alicia was exhausted and feeling a little lazy, so Tony ordered dinner in and sat with her as they talked. Food arrived twenty minutes later, which they ate slowly and comfortably.

She had been trying to talk Tony into going into business with Jason. Jason was open to the idea, but Tony was still angry and wanted nothing to do with him.

She was hoping that if they got to spend time together, they would remember why they had been best friends in the first place, but she could see her hope dwindling. Tony barely wanted to hear a mention of Jason’s name.

After dinner, Tony helped clean up and Alicia loved how good a gentleman he was. When she walked him to the door, he captured her lips for a lingering kiss, which she responded to.

He had been so patient with her that she wanted to give him something back. The only man she’d ever slept with was Jason. The idea of giving herself to Tony was frightening, but she felt he had earned it.

He was her best friend. No one knew her better, and it had been too long since she’d slept with a man. Maybe it would be so good it would finally erase Chris from her mind.

“Why don’t you stay tonight?” she said, and the pleasant surprise on his face made her glow.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

The memory of Chris’s kisses was fading away, and as she was kissing Tony now, she didn’t instantly have a replay of a passionate encounter with Chris.

It didn’t mean she could respond to him the way she had to Chris, but it was a stepping-stone and she was determined to push away those feelings that so unsettled her.

“I’m sure,” she said.

He enfolded her in his arms and kissed her again. He picked her up and took her to the bedroom, and she confidently unbuttoned his shirt while they continued to kiss. His muscles were taut as she ran her hands over his arms after easing down his shirt, and he appeared even bigger while shirtless.

She felt slightly nervous when he started undressing her, but she understood that reaction and tried to keep herself calm. When he took off her top, he started kissing her neck and she closed her eyes, trying to enjoy it.

When his fingers reached for her belt, his lips captured hers again. He was soft and gentle with her, but she yearned for more softness and gentleness. She stood in front of him in nothing but her bra and panties, and that wave of nervousness attacked her again.

He ran his hands over her body, and she reached for his belt and unbuckled it. He stepped out of his pants, picked her up, and gently laid her on the bed. He was sweet and slow as he kissed her body, and she berated herself. She should have felt more, but instead she was lying there, staring at the ceiling.

She could feel his hard erection pressed against her as he continued to learn the art of her body, removing the rest of her clothing and praising her beauty. It was strange how she felt something at his foreplay, but not something strong enough to make her crave what was coming.

When he was lying naked on top of her, she imagined how it would feel if it was Chris doing that to her instead. She imagined Chris’s long endless hair flowing down her shoulders, touching her with that softness, that gentleness. The scent of summer filled her nostrils as she closed her eyes and responded a bit more earnestly to Tony.

She resented that she had to think of Chris to get turned on, but she didn’t regret it. It changed the outcome of everything. After he wore protection, Tony parted her legs and started teasing the outer part of her sex with his shaft.

Alicia was surprised at how much she was enjoying it when her mind focused on Chris. When he moved inside her, she closed her eyes and bit into her lower lip, telling herself the minor discomfort would pass and she’d start enjoying it again. It didn’t pass, and Tony came before any enjoyment began.

He held her in his arms, panting against her ear. She felt like she would cry, only she couldn’t because Tony was there. She forced herself to sleep, and the following morning, she woke up early and prepared Robbie for school.

She got ready for work as well, trying to be as quiet as possible in order not to wake Tony, but before Robbie left, he woke up. He played with Robbie before his school bus got there, and after Robbie left, she sat down across from Tony and they had breakfast together.

As she sat facing him, she knew it had been a bad idea to sleep with him but he was still so sweet and kind to her. In fact, he was now more affectionate and open with what he felt, which made her feel like she’d rushed into something she wasn’t ready for.

She’d been so sure it was what she’d wanted, now she knew it would never work out. At the end of it all, the only feelings she had for him were those of a platonic friendship.

She left him in her apartment and went to work, wondering how she would break up with him now that they had come that far. Would he resent her for leading him on and being unable to reciprocate his feelings?

She couldn’t immediately break up with him after they had gotten physical, but if she didn’t end it soon, he would feel free to want to sleep with her again, which she was sure she couldn’t go through with. How was she going to let him down easy without insulting his manhood?

Anger rose in her. This was Chris’s fault. If she had never known how it felt being with her, she was almost certain she would have enjoyed her night with Tony.

Regretting ever having kissed Chris, she parked her car and entered the building. The moment Chris walked out of the office, the anger and misgivings about the previous night, and worries over how she would break it off with Tony, all just disappeared.

“Good morning,” Chris said.

Alicia felt confused. “Morning,” she said.

Chris stepped past her and went over to Jennifer to send her on a few errands. After Alicia put her things away, she got straight to work. Chris came over and said she had sent the dress to Joey.

Alicia didn’t have much of a response, though she was looking forward to hearing what the fashion critics would have to say about the dress.

She felt uneasy and a little shaky and would have preferred to think about everything else that was bothering her rather than feel that way.

“What’s wrong?” Chris asked.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Alicia said quickly, too quickly, and then everything she didn’t want to think about, together with that overwhelming feeling that had engulfed her the previous night when she’d wanted to cry, overcame her.

“Excuse me.” She ran out of the building, telling herself that she would never break down in front of Chris.

She got in her car and drove off, heading to her mother’s house. On her way there, her vision got blurry and the tears she’d been holding in started falling down her face.

When she got to her mother’s, she ran straight upstairs to her old bedroom, leaving her mother and a couple of her friends startled when she passed them in the living room. She got on her bed, held onto her pillow, and released her emotions.

How had she thought it would be a good idea to sleep with Tony?

Ellen knocked softly on her door and entered. “Honey?” She took a seat on the bed beside Alicia. “What happened?” she asked.

Alicia felt childish for running home like she was still a little kid.

“Did Tony do something? Was it Jason?” Ellen softly patted her back.

When she didn’t speak, Ellen leaned forward and pecked her forehead and Alicia went into her arms in search of strength.

“It’s okay. Everything’s going to be fine,” Ellen said.

Ten minutes later, when she was calmer, Alicia tried to explain her unusual behavior.

“I don’t understand what’s going on with me.” She sat up and wiped away the last droplets of tears. “I’m acting like a child.”

“You’re my child. You’re allowed.” Ellen touched her face. “You want to talk about what happened?”

“It’s Tony,” she said, and the look that came upon Ellen’s face made Alicia realize she’d given the impression that he had been with another woman. “He didn’t sleep with another woman,” she said quickly before her mother believed her own conclusions.

“Then what did he do?”

“He didn’t do anything.” She felt silly for involving her mother in her pathetic love life.

“He must have, otherwise you wouldn’t be here crying.”

“We’ve been dating and going out for a while now, but we hadn’t been together until last night,” she said.

Her mother raised her eyebrow. “Did he hurt you?”

Alicia quickly shook her head in embarrassment. Why was she even talking to her mother about this? “I thought that in time I could learn to love him back,” she said. “He’s a nice guy and he’s perfect for me, but I don’t feel anything for him. I tried, I forced myself to, but after last night, I don’t think I can do it anymore. I don’t want to hurt him, but I feel like it’s inevitable because I took it this far.”

“Oh, honey. It sounds like you weren’t fair to him or yourself.” Ellen took Alicia’s hands in hers.

“What do I do?” Alicia asked.

“The only thing you can do. You have to break up with him.”

“But he’ll hate me.”

“If he loves you, he’ll let you go,” Ellen said, and Alicia went into her arms.

“Alicia, honey, are you sure that’s the only reason you were crying?” Ellen asked a moment later.

“Yeah, I don’t want to hurt him. He’s always been there for me, and I feel like I’m letting him down.” She wasn’t sure her mother could handle knowing her daughter had feelings for another woman.

“It’s going to be okay,” Ellen said. She kissed the side of Alicia’s forehead. “And if it doesn’t get better, you’re free to come running home to your bedroom whenever you want.”

Alicia laughed at that as Ellen got up. “I have to go downstairs and reassure my friends. They were a bit alarmed when you came running in.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t ever be sorry. This is your home,” Ellen said and left the room.

Alicia stayed there awhile longer and then went back to work. She was glad when Jennifer told her that Chris had gone out, and she found it easier to throw herself back into her work.

Chapter 14

“Are we still on for tonight?” Chris asked Alicia awhile after she got back to the office.

“Uh, about that, I don’t know if…”

Chris raised her hands and stopped her before she could finish off her sentence. Alicia was still embarrassed about that morning and wasn’t sure she could explain what it had been all about, least of all to Chris.

“If you’re about to cancel on me because of what happened this morning, don’t,” Chris said. “I’ve never pressured you into talking to me, and I’m not about to start.”

Alicia wondered what Chris would say if she knew the real reason for her actions. “Okay,” she said. She needed the distraction anyway.

“Good. I know this very private place where we can eat great food, relax, and have a good time.”

“I can use some great food,” Alicia said. She hoped Chris’s presence would ease what she was going through rather than stir it up again.

After that, they both got back to work, and around six in the evening, Alicia called Jason to inform him she would be a little bit late picking up Robbie.

After they closed down, Alicia followed Chris in her car. As she drove farther south out of Cresswell Falls, Alicia realized where they were going.

“They weren’t kidding when they said the Brewster mansion was the biggest house in Cresswell Falls,” she said aloud. She had seen pictures of the mansion in local magazines but the real thing still left her in awe.

“I hope it’s okay that I brought you here,” Chris said and Alicia wasn’t sure what to say to that.

When Chris had said she knew a private place where they could eat great food, it hadn’t occurred to Alicia that Chris was talking about her house.

“Come on, I want you to meet my family,” she said.

Alicia uneasily followed Chris into the large main entrance of the house. When the door opened, the warm light embraced her as she walked in after Chris.

She was surprised to see how homey the house looked on the inside, and the nice aroma that enticed her nostrils quickly won her over.

“If you want, I can give you a tour later.” Chris took Alicia’s coat and purse and set them aside.

“I’d like that.”

“This used to be my grandfather’s house, but he hardly ever stayed here. He said it was a nice getaway place but not an ideal place to live. He owned a successful real estate firm in New York. When my father was a little boy, he used to love coming here because it was so far away from the noise and the bustle of the big city. When my grandpa died, my grandma sold his business because she couldn’t run it and my dad was too young to take over. After that, they moved here permanently.” Chris handed Alicia a glass of wine.

“It’s a beautiful house,” Alicia said.

A tall, good-looking man in his early sixties sauntered out of one of the rooms and stopped when he saw her.

“You look just like Ellen,” he said as he strode over to her and warmly shook her hand.

“This handsome, charming gentleman is my father, Alan Brewster. Dad, this is Alicia Mathews, Ellen’s daughter.” Obviously they had already recognized each other.

“I haven’t seen you since you were a kid. You’ve grown into a lovely woman,” Alan said.

“Thank you,” Alicia said, her cheeks burning.

“Where’s Rosa?” Chris asked.

“She’s somewhere around the house,” Alan said, without taking his eyes off Alicia.

“I’ll go look for her,” Chris said.

“Do you know that before I married Miranda, I had first set my eyes on your mother?” Alan said. “But Ray went after her first, and I had to step aside. I don’t know how things moved so fast, but before we knew it, we were all married. After Ray took off with Miranda, it left us both terribly unsettled. Just being around each other hurt too much because it was a constant reminder of what had happened.”

Surprised by the information, Alicia said, “My mother never mentioned it.”

“She never liked talking about it after it happened. As you can imagine, it was a very painful experience for her.”

Alicia knew it must have been. She didn’t blame her mother, and she was no longer interested in learning more about her father.

“Looks like Dad is falling in love,” Chris teased when she came back to the room with Rosa.

“I can’t blame him,” Rosa said. She walked over to Alicia and warmly greeted her. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” Alicia was touched by the warm reception Chris’s family gave her.

“Are you going to join us for dinner?” Alan asked Alicia.

Chris quickly intervened. “Alicia and I are going to dine on the balcony. I hope you two don’t mind.”

“No, of course not,” Alan said.

Chris led Alicia to the second floor of the house, onto the balcony overlooking the pool, which was brightly lit in the night.

A table for two was elegantly set with candles, which were covered at the flame to prevent them from going out when the wind blew.

When Alicia saw the setting, she felt like the night had just taken a turn, like she was on a date. Suddenly she wished she was dressed better for it, or at least had been more prepared. It was beautiful being here, and she loved the view of the pool in the starry night.

She felt as though she’d stepped out of one life and into another. “This is amazing.” She strolled towards the railing of the balcony.

“I’m glad you like it.” Chris pulled out a chair for her.

After they sat down, a woman in her sixties brought them dinner. Chris appeared to be very fond of her, going as far as introducing them to one another.

“Maggie’s been working here for longer than I’ve been alive,” Chris said, and Alicia started to relax as conversation took off.

The food smelled so delicious, her taste buds watered before she even put it in her mouth.

“Your dad seems nice.” She served herself while Chris poured her another glass of sparkling wine.

“You only think that because he’s half in love with you.”

Alicia laughed at Chris’s innocent teasing. “Only because I remind him of my mother. Speaking of which, did he ever tell you that before he married Miranda, he had a thing for my mother?”

“He told you that?”

“Yeah, they would have made a cute couple.” She tried to picture her mother with Alan.

“I’m sorry if this was too much for you.”

Alicia shook off the apology, having enjoyed Alan’s company and Rosa’s kindness. “It was about time I met the rest of your family anyway, seeing as you’ve met practically everyone in my life.”

Chris smiled at her, and Alicia tried to focus her mind on something else. “You were right, the food is great.”

“I’ll pass the message along to Maggie,” Chris said.

“What was it like, growing up in such a huge house?”

“Before my parents divorced, Maggie’s kids were also living in the estate in her cottage, so I had friends to grow up with. It was fun because they were like my brothers, but we grew apart when Mom and I left.”

“It must have been hard, moving to a new place, trying to make new friends.”

“It was, for a while.”

They shared simple childhood stories, and Alicia found herself laughing, having forgotten everything that had been troubling her.

After dinner, Maggie served them dessert, which they casually ate while they leaned against the railing of the balcony. After the meal was over, Chris took Alicia for the grand tour.

“If I lived in this kind of house,” Alicia said, “I’d have a lot of kids. The big family I always wanted.”

“You wanted a big family?”

“Yeah, didn’t you? Being raised as an only child could be lonely sometimes.”

“I’ve never thought about it, but I’m sure Robbie would love a little brother or sister. You and Tony would make very beautiful babies together.”

The statement reminded Alicia of their night together.

“Okay, you and I would make beautiful babies together,” Chris teased as though she noticed her reaction. Alicia instantly relaxed and started laughing.

“Is that even possible?” she asked in between laughter.

“Of course it is. We’re in the twenty-first century. Anything is possible. We’d have a boy.”

“Another boy?” Alicia asked, deciding to play along.

“Yeah, so he can play with Robbie, and then we’d have two girls to balance it out and then a fifth one.”

“And we wouldn’t care if that one is a boy or a girl because we’d already have everything we want.”

“Exactly.”

After that, they suggested names for their imaginary children, going with some while turning down others.

“And where would we live?” Chris asked as they continued to tour the house.

Alicia pretended to think. “In a bigger mansion, probably outside of town, because we’d be very successful from our business. My mom would come along, because she’s the only reason I’d continue to stay here.”

“It would be nice to have a grandma they can all look up to,” Chris said and opened the next door.

“Your mom could have supervised visits with them,” Alicia joked and then realized they were in Chris’s bedroom. She didn’t know how she knew because Chris didn’t say it, but something about the room just felt like her.

“This is your bedroom.”

Chris nodded as she stepped over to the curtained glass window overlooking the front of the house.

She pulled aside the curtains, and Alicia saw it wasn’t a window but a door, which opened onto another balcony.

It was strange how, on the same night she ended up on Chris’s bedroom balcony, the hands of destiny chose to create such a romantic ambience with countless stars shining across the sky, illuminating them with a soft hue.

The beautiful night took all of her problems, sealed them in a box, and threw them away, clearing her mind so she could focus on the beauty in her life.

“Would we have any pets?” Chris continued their game.

“Yeah, a dog for the boys and maybe a cat for the girls.” The cool breeze blowing past created a whimsical rhythm that made Alicia feel like she was guest starring in a sad romantic film, one of those that tended to end tragically with the ending eternally glued to the audience’s memories.

“That would be a beautiful family,” Chris said and turned to face her.

“Yeah.” Alicia didn’t know at which point the easy teasing became serious, but the next thing she knew, Chris was looking at her in a manner she’d never seen before.

She’d always recognized the way Chris had looked at her before, making her feel self-conscious and nervous with butterflies in her stomach all at the same time. But now, Chris was gazing into her eyes, making her feel like all the contents in her heart were exposed to her.

“What does it feel like being the woman everyone wants?” Chris asked.

“I’m not sure I understand.” Alicia felt as though her heart was caught in her throat.

“Tony is head over heels in love with you, and Jason has this look in his eyes, as though it destroys him to see the woman he still loves with someone else.” Chris took a step towards her.

Alicia wondered what Chris would say if she knew that she wished Chris was among the people she was talking about.

“Well, technically, that’s not everyone.” Her heart started pounding so loudly in her chest she feared Chris would hear it.

“It’s everyone that matters.”

Is it? Alicia wanted to ask her.

“So? How does it feel?” Chris asked again.

Alicia wasn’t sure what she wanted to hear. She was sure, though, that Chris was standing too close to her and it was getting difficult for her to focus on what they were talking about. How could she feel this way when Chris was barely touching her?

“It’s not as great as you’d think it is.”

“Why do you say that?”

Alicia hesitated. Was Chris just taunting her? “Because I don’t love Jason.”

The sentence didn’t come out as she’d intended. She was finding it hard to think when it felt like a surge of warmth was emanating from Chris and moving into her.

“What about Tony? Do you love him?”

“Yes.” Was that disappointment she saw shadowing Chris’s gorgeous face? “But I’m not in love with him,” she said, and Chris closed her hands over hers.

“Oh my God!” Chris said. “You’re freezing.” She interrupted the moment as she hurried into her bedroom and returned with a thick blanket.

She wrapped Alicia with the blanket and rubbed her shoulders.

Alicia hadn’t noticed she’d been freezing, but she felt a whole lot better when Chris warmed her up. Had she been under Chris’s spell? She rubbed her hands together as she realized how cold she’d actually been.

“Oh my gosh, what time is it?”

Chris looked at her wristwatch. “Quarter past eleven.”

“I have to go. I have to pick Robbie up from Jason’s.”

“Do you want me to take you?” Chris asked as they walked back into her bedroom. She closed the balcony door, pulled the curtains across it, and they exited the bedroom.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll be okay,” Alicia said as they made their way down the stairs.

Chris went for her coat and purse and accompanied her outside. “Will you call me when you get home?” she asked Alicia once she was in her car and ready to drive off.

“Yes, I will,” Alicia said, not sure what would have happened had Chris not noticed how cold she had gotten.

* * *

Alicia found it particularly hard to work when Chris was standing right there beside her, but she liked it. Since the dinner at Chris’s home, their friendship seemed somehow repaired.

Chris was sweet to her and kept teasing her about how Alan was in love with her and how Rosa would blacklist her if she continued to grow more beautiful.

“Do you think I’d pull it off as an actress?” Chris asked.

Alicia was working on another gown that had been inspired by Chris at the balcony. “Nah,” she said, not even stopping to consider it.

“What? You don’t think I can act?”

“Why? Are you interested?” Alicia asked her, turning to face Jennifer, who was looking at them as though she were wishing she could be in on their conversation.

“No, but my agent, Andrew Fox, won’t let me peacefully retire. He keeps coming up with all these things that he thinks I should do despite knowing that I have my own business.” Chris touched the soft fabric of the gown Alicia was working on.

“I think you’re far too beautiful for the film industry. It would be too easy for you to get a role, and people would only be interested in your work because of how you look. As for modeling, it’s all about image, which you’re still perfect for,” Alicia said.

“You still want me to be the face of this company, don’t you?”

“Only because you’re perfect for it, and that’s one idea your agent would vouch for.”

“I’d be my own boss.”

“Which would be an added advantage for you. You wouldn’t have to please anyone.”

“Except you.”

Alicia smiled as she nodded and said, “Except me.”

Tony walked in at that moment, and Alicia’s heart stopped for a second.

“Hey, Jen, Chris.” He hugged Alicia and kissed her as though they were alone in the room.

When he pulled back, Alicia felt her cheeks burning and she looked away, avoiding facing Chris.

“Can we talk?” he asked her, and she watched Chris walk away.

Chris had done such a good job of distracting her that Alicia had completely forgotten about Tony and what she’d decided to do. Seeing him again made her feel like she’d just been ambushed, and she didn’t know what to do.

“Tony, I’m working,” she said, aware that Jennifer was closely studying them.

“It won’t take long.” He placed his arm around her shoulders.

“Can we do it outside?” she asked.

He nodded and led the way out into the sunshine. “Is something wrong? I haven’t heard from you in two days.”

“Um, sorry about that. I’ve been busy preparing for the fashion show Chris booked for us.”

“Okay, can I see you tonight?” he asked and she hesitated. “What’s the matter? I thought we had a good time the other night.”

It had been a good time for him, but it had been the complete opposite for her, so she had a reason for putting it off.

“It was…” She searched for the right word. “Overwhelming for me.”

The confusion on his face told her to elaborate. “Apart from Jason, I haven’t been with any other man in my life. What happened between us was intense.” She touched his arm. “Tony, I thought I was ready, but I don’t think I am,” she said as painlessly as she could.

“Okay, we can take it slow. It doesn’t have to happen again until you’re ready.”

She doubted she would ever want to do it again, but he was so sweet and understanding she didn’t have the heart to tell him so.

“I can’t see you tonight. I have plans with my mother,” she lied but he was persistent.

“How about tomorrow night?”

She’d made plans with Chris to watch the red carpet moments of Joey’s movie premiere, and she couldn’t miss that for anything.

“I have a thing with Chris,” she said and he exhaled as though he was about to give up.

“The night after?”

She realized she had to put an end to her sham of a relationship with him and perhaps the weekend was the perfect time to reflect on what she was going to say to end it.

“Okay, Monday night.”

“I’ll come with dinner.” He took her in his arms again and kissed her. She responded for a second, and when he deepened the kiss, she pulled away.

“I’m not very good with public displays of affection,” she told him in embarrassment.

“It’s okay.” He pecked her lips. She watched him get in his truck and drive away, and she reentered the building.

“Tony is so crazy about you,” Jennifer said. Alicia wasn’t sure she needed to hear that.

“You two are so perfect for each other.”

Alicia looked at her and wondered if she’d always been like that. Maybe she’d finally outgrown Jennifer.

She gazed towards the office and saw Chris looking back at her through the open window. She couldn’t read her expression, but she saw no remnants of the joy and teasing that had been there earlier.

Chapter 15

It was half past seven, just thirty minutes before the show started, and Chris wasn’t there. She was supposed to show up half an hour earlier, but she hadn’t even called to say she would be late.

Alicia turned on her forty-two-inch plasma TV to wait for the show to start. When she heard the doorbell, a wave of relief washed over her.

“Did you think I was going to stand you up?” Chris walked in with popcorn and potato chips.

“For a moment there, yeah.”

Chris removed her coat and sat down, and when Alicia joined her, she picked up the bag of potato chips and said, “I had trouble finding these.”

“Potato chips?” Alicia asked.

Chris smiled at her and said, “They’re not just any potato chips. They’re called Daze.”

Alicia still didn’t understand.

“They’re fat free and very scrumptious.”

Alicia laughed and Chris opened the bag and held it out for her to try some. She reached into the bag, took a couple, and placed one in her mouth. It was soft and practically melted when she bit into it.

“Hmm, it’s really good,” she said. Chris gave her a knowing look as she got up and went to the kitchen to get a bowl.

She came back with two and poured the popcorn in one and the potato chips in the other.

“You forgot the drinks,” Alicia said even though she should have been the hostess. But Chris fit so well in her apartment it felt like she belonged there, and she seemed to know where everything was.

“Diet Coke?” Chris asked.

“Yeah,” Alicia said.

Chris came back with two cans of diet Coke. When she sat down, her cell phone started ringing.

“Don’t tell me they forced you to wear an Oscar De La Renta,” Chris said. Alicia knew she was talking to Joey.

Chris put Joey on speaker. “No, actually, I was just calling to check if you’re watching the show.”

“Are you wearing the dress?” Chris asked.

“Yes, and I look absolutely fabulous. Give Alicia a kiss for me.”

Alicia blushed when Chris looked at her.

“Why don’t you thank her yourself? We’re watching the show together.”

“Alicia?” Joey said over the phone.

“Yeah?”

“You are amazing, and if Chris doesn’t win you over, she can bet her ass I’m more than willing to try.”

Chris avoided her gaze, and Alicia wondered what Joey knew about the nature of their relationship.

“Shut up, Joey,” Chris said. “Where are you right now?”

“Twenty minutes away from the premiere.”

She took Joey off speaker, and Alicia watched as they continued to talk, wondering what Joey had meant by what she’d said. Did Chris still like her?

Chris hung up, retook her seat, and said, “Don’t pay any attention to Joey. She’s crazy.”

Alicia didn’t think so, but she nodded anyway and turned her attention back to the TV. “There are so many people there.”

“I hope even more are watching from home.” Chris bit into a potato chip. “Where’s Robbie? He should be here having a root beer as we celebrate this momentous occasion. It’s not everyday his mommy’s name is mentioned on national television in praise of her work.”

“Jason’s dropping him off,” Alicia said, pleased by how much Chris cared about Robbie as she recalled their talk about their imaginary kids.

“I wonder which, between the two of you, he’ll take after.”

“He already has his father’s athletic ability, so I’m thinking baseball,” Alicia said.

“He could grow up and realize he loves fashion more.”

She couldn’t argue with that.

“He’s a lucky kid. When I was growing up, I didn’t know what my talent was. Heck, I still don’t. He’s about to turn eight, and he has the best of two worlds.”

“I think your talent is being a model. It’s what you’re great at.”

“That’s sad, because it means my physical talent is being beautiful and most beautiful women are considered dumb. No, let me rephrase that, most models are considered dumb.”

Alicia took her diet Coke and sniffed the top. “Did you pour some brandy in here or are you just high on diet Coke?”

Chris smiled at her remark.

“I think there’s a reason why you were given this unique kind of beauty, but I don’t think any of the reasons state that just because you have it you have to be dumb.”

“You’re only saying that because you like me.” Chris took a sip of her diet Coke.

“Yes, and also because it’s the truth. You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

“And what makes you say that?”

Without the slightest hesitation, Alicia started stating her reasons. “Because one, you don’t use your beauty to get what you want, instead you work for it. Two, you’re nice to everybody, even to Jennifer who spends most of her time gossiping. Three, you have your own business, and four, you worked in real estate for less than a month and managed to sell an apartment and a house. I could go on, but I don’t want to boost your ego.”

Despite how much she meant it, Chris laughed at the last part of her statement. “Then our kids won’t just be beautiful, they’ll be smart, too,” she said right before the show started. Alicia felt a slight tug at her heart because there was no humor in Chris’s words.

“Turn up the volume, it’s starting,” Chris said, quickly changing the subject. Alicia turned it up, inwardly smiling.

“So, do you know what the movie is about?” Alicia asked as she leaned back comfortably and reached for popcorn.

“It’s a psychological thriller about this beautiful woman who is orphaned at a young age.” Chris continued telling the synopsis, and when she was done, Alicia was looking forward to watching it.

“How about we go and watch it next weekend?”

“Chris, we’re in Cresswell Falls. The last time they showed a new movie was like never.”

“I can make it happen,” Chris said, and Alicia was eager to learn how.

“Well, Joey was here so the whole town knows who she is. They know she’s wearing our gown tonight down the red carpet. So if I made a pitch about how the whole town would be interested in watching her and pulled a few strings to get my hands on that film, we could go watch it.”

That could actually work. “It would be overcrowded,” Alicia said and noticed the mischievous look in Chris’s eyes.

“Since I’d be the one responsible for bringing in the movie and coming up with the whole idea, and since I am a Brewster and famous former model...” she said as though she were gloating, but it was all playful fun.

“Not to mention, the new pride and joy of the town,” Alicia put in and Chris nodded.

“That, too. I don’t think it would be hard to talk a movie theater into letting us watch the movie, just the two of us.”

Yeah, Alicia doubted that would be hard.

“Look.” She pointed to the TV screen. “There are so many photographers.”

“Joey’s a global sensation,” Chris said. “She gets the A-list treatment wherever she goes. She was the very first person who ever made me feel intimidated, and that never happens to me.”

At the description, Alicia questioned how anyone could compete with that. “There’s the first limo,” she said, wondering which one Joey was riding in. A handsome man emerged, dressed in an elegant designer suit.

“That’s one of the leading men in the movie,” Chris said.

“He’s wearing an Armani suit,” Alicia said, and a minute later, it was confirmed by a reporter.

“Do you know every designer’s work?” Chris asked.

“Not every designer, just the really good ones.”

“Versace?” Chris guessed when the next actor walked down the red carpet.

“No, that’s a Valentino.” Soon, it was confirmed.

“Do they each have a distinct design that only designers can see?” Chris asked.

“No one knows this, but awhile after Robbie was born, I took fashion and design classes for a year and studied several designers during school projects. There isn’t really a distinct design. It’s like a map with several different trails leading to the same destination. When you learn the first one from beginning to end, you’ll never get lost no matter which trail you take. There will always be something familiar you identify along the way that leads you straight to where you’re going.”

“You’re just full of surprises.”

“I never told anyone because I thought I did it for nothing.”

“I’m sure you think differently now,” Chris said and Alicia nodded. “What’s she wearing?” Chris asked when a supporting actress stepped out of a limo.

“That’s a Vera Wang.”

They continued watching, and finally the moment came. They held their breaths when the reporters announced that it was Joey riding in the next limo. When she stepped out, Alicia’s jaw dropped as photographers took pictures of her.

“I can’t believe how radiant she looks.”

Joey posed for pictures, walked towards the swarm of reporters and photographers, and posed again.

“Are you wearing a Versace gown?” a reporter asked while others guessed different designers.

When they stopped, Joey flashed them a beautiful smile and said, “This gown was designed by Alicia Mathews. She’s a new designer and works with my close friend, former model, Christina Brewster.”

At the mention of their names, they both squealed in joy as the reporters continued asking other questions related to the movie as well as the gown.

“She always knew how to steal the show,” Chris said awhile later.

“I can’t believe this is finally happening,” Alicia said. Her dream had become real.

“Believe it,” Chris said, and a moment later, she added, “I’ve never seen you this happy.”

Alicia got to her feet and started dancing in joy as she said, “I’ve never been this happy.”

Chris stood up, too, and danced along to the imaginary tune. When they stopped, they both collapsed back onto the couch and started laughing at their silliness.

Alicia caught Chris watching her. Her stomach fluttered when Chris softly said, “You’re so beautiful.”

Alicia’s laughter disappeared, and a jolt went through her when Chris leaned closer.

She closed her eyes when Chris’s lips captured hers, instantly reshuffling everything she was feeling and invoking a passionate response.

The kiss started slow as sensations built up. It picked up pace, awakening everything Alicia thought she had successfully buried.

Her body heat grew as Chris laid her back on the couch and carefully positioned herself on top.

Chris had always been slow and soft, but there was nothing slow or soft about the mind-crippling sensations she drove through Alicia as she devoured her mouth. She moved her hands underneath Alicia’s top and gently trailed her palms over her body.

Alicia was shocked at how quickly and deeply she was turned on. Her mind flew out of her body, and she allowed herself to feel all the things her body had been desperately yearning for.

Her lips responded with such need and urgency, it was as though if she didn’t get what she wanted, what she desired, her very world would come to an end.

Chris cupped her breasts under her bra, and Alicia released a soft moan against her lips. Chris pulled up the top and kissed Alicia’s flat belly, trailing her tongue over the middle from the navel up, finally stopping at her breasts.

Alicia moaned when Chris took her nipple in her mouth. A scalding heat traveled through her body and settled at the core of her being where a fire, hotter than the ferocious sun, was just lighting up.

The softness of Chris’s touch and caress, despite the urgency and the need threatening to destroy her, was what Alicia had been craving.

“What’s that?” Chris asked.

Alicia didn’t know what she was talking about. She was too lost in the throes of passion, because even as Chris asked, she continued to please her.

“What?” She moaned again when Chris turned her attention to her other breast. She ran her tongue over the nipple, gently licking it and then she closed her mouth over it, playing with it in the warm, moist softness of her mouth. Alicia thought she had lost her mind.

“That noise,” Chris said, almost as though she wasn’t talking because her mouth never left Alicia’s pebble-hard nipple.

Slightly pulling herself from the wonderful world Chris had taken her to, Alicia heard the ringing Chris was referring to, followed by a knock.

“Oh my God! It’s Jason bringing Robbie home,” she said but didn’t make an attempt to move.

Chris stopped and smiled. She laid a soft kiss on each of Alicia’s nipples and withdrew from her as she pulled down Alicia’s top to cover her body.

“His timing always sucked,” Alicia said. She got up and tried to compose herself.

Chris sat upright on the couch, and Alicia opened the door to let Jason in.

“He’s sleeping.” Jason walked in and took Robbie to his bedroom.

Alicia turned to look at Chris, who was intimately looking back at her, and she blushed. Chris got up and walked over to her. Alicia thought she was going to start kissing her again, and she wasn’t about to stop her. Instead, Chris adjusted her top and took a step back when Jason returned to the room.

“I don’t believe we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Jason Sanders,” he said to Chris.

“Christina Brewster.” Chris continued to watch Alicia who was silently standing behind Jason.

Alicia wished she would stop. It brought back the memories of what they had just been doing, and with it, the sensations that had overcome her body.

“It’s nice to meet you, and I’m sorry for the way I behaved that night at the bar,” Jason said.

“That was you?” Chris asked. Jason raised his eyebrows before she laughed and said, “I’m just kidding, and you don’t have to apologize. You obviously weren’t yourself.”

He nodded.

“And it’s nice to meet you, too,” Chris said.

“Was there something else?” Alicia asked behind him.

He turned around. “How was the show?”

“It was everything I hoped it would be, and more,” Alicia said, and he flashed her one of his handsome grins.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “Guess I should go, it’s late. Good night. Bye, Christina.”

He headed out, and Chris corrected him. “Chris.”

“Chris,” he said with a nod, and Alicia closed the door behind him.

“Let me go check on Robbie, I’ll be right back,” Alicia said.

Before she could walk away, Chris said, “Can I come with you?”

Alicia nodded and Chris followed after her. They found Robbie peacefully sleeping, and Alicia remembered her talk with Chris again about their children.

She didn’t know why she found herself thinking about it, considering it had been of a playful nature, but she found herself asking “what if” and that made her heart flutter.

“See his hands?” Chris trailed above Robbie’s smaller hands with her fingers.

“Yeah?”

“These are the hands of a fashion designer.”

The statement made Alicia want to laugh, though she held it in because she didn’t want to wake Robbie up.

She ran her fingers through his short dark hair, laid a soft kiss over his forehead, and they left his room.

“I’m glad to see Jason is finally being civil around you,” Chris said.

“Do you think it’s crazy that sometimes I still expect him to let me down or humiliate me?” Alicia wondered whether she should have given him more credit.

“After everything he’s done, I’m even surprised you’d trust him with Robbie. I just hope he doesn’t hurt you again.”

“I wouldn’t care if he hurt me, as long as he doesn’t hurt Robbie.”

Chris took a seat beside her on the couch and reached for her hand. “I care, and if he hurts you, he’ll have to answer to me.”

Alicia felt that tug in her heart again. Chris touched her face, softly ran the palm of her hand over her cheek, and leaned forward to kiss her again.

The doorbell went off just when their lips were about to meet, and Chris withdrew and leaned back on the couch as Alicia got to her feet and went to open the door.

“Hey, Alicia,” Tony said. He encircled her in his arms and kissed her.

“Tony, what are you doing here?” She pulled away from his embrace.

He looked at her as though he didn’t know how to answer the question and then said hopelessly, “I miss you.”

She stood there, unsure of what to say, and he took her in his arms again.

“Tony,” Alicia pulled away from him, trying to show him that she wasn’t alone. When he saw Chris, he went to her to shake her hand.

“Chris, how are you?” he asked.

Chris smiled at him and responded warmly by saying, “I’m good and I was just leaving. You two enjoy the rest of your evening.”

She got her coat, stopped near Alicia, and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She opened the door and left.

Alicia couldn’t let her leave like that. She excused herself and followed after her. “Chris, wait,” she said down the hallway and Chris stopped and turned to look at her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know he was going to show up.”

Alicia felt like every time Tony came around, he managed to drive a wedge between them.

“I know, Alicia, and it’s okay. It’s late anyway.” Chris took a step towards Alicia and squeezed her hand.

“I had fun tonight,” Alicia said, knowing she couldn’t talk Chris into staying now that Tony was there.

“I had fun, too,” Chris said. She leaned forward and pecked Alicia’s cheek.

She lingered there for a moment longer, fanning Alicia’s cheek with her warm breath. Then she walked away, leaving Alicia feeling like she was floating on air.

After standing there for a while, Alicia headed back to her apartment. She wondered if she should have the talk with Tony, even though she’d prepared to do it the following evening, but when she walked in, she found him sleeping on her couch.

His chest heaved up and down in breathing, and she covered him with a blanket to keep him warm.

When she got in bed that night, all memories of her lovemaking with Tony disappeared and were replaced by the sweet exhilaration that had come awake when Chris had touched her. Sleep and dreams took over, and cradled her all through the night.

Chapter 16

Chris walked into the mansion knowing that she should have been feeling great because Alicia’s line had gotten the exposure that they had been looking for, and she was glad, but on the surface; everything inside her was filled with Alicia.

She had never felt like that for any other woman in her entire life. She didn’t know what that madness was. No matter how much she told herself Alicia wanted something different, or deserved someone better like Tony, or a whole lot of other things, it didn’t change the way she continued to feel.

She had watched, countless times, as Tony had expressed himself. What he felt for Alicia was deep and real. She had seen it again that night, when he’d showed up unexpected, when he’d taken Alicia in his arms and kissed her.

Chris resented watching him kiss Alicia, but there was nothing she could do about it since she was to blame for their being together in the first place.

Tony had known Alicia practically all his life. He knew her in a manner that Chris probably never would. He was her knight in shining armor, and Chris was just a diversion.

She wanted to be more; she craved to be more. When she kissed Alicia, when she touched her like she had that night, she felt like she was a better person, like it was possible for her to fall in love, and that notion didn’t scare her.

“Chris, you won’t believe who is here,” Alan said when she entered the house. His tone of voice was alarming, and he was acting in a manner that she hadn’t seen in a very long time.

Before she could take a wild guess, Miranda, her mother, walked into the room. To say Chris was in shock would be an understatement.

“Honey, you’re home. Look at how beautiful you’ve become.”

It had been so long since they had been in the same room together that Chris felt like she had just stepped into a nightmare.

“Mom?” she said, out of breath like she’d just had the air knocked right out of her lungs.

Alan exited the room.

What was her mom doing in Cresswell Falls? She resented the little town.

Miranda hugged Chris and then pulled back and said, “This place hasn’t changed a bit.”

Chris was still trying to digest her presence.

Miranda was in her mid fifties, but she looked like she was in her early thirties. She was as tall as Chris, but her hair was a lighter shade of gold and her eyes were a misty brown.

She was beautiful, with class and elegance, and her travels only seemed to have added to her untamed youth.

“What are you doing in Cresswell Falls?” Chris poured herself a glass of brandy.

“You sounded sad and unhappy last time we talked, so I cancelled the rest of my trips and decided to come see you.”

Chris recalled their last conversation and the one before that. “I’m not sad or unhappy.” She emptied the glass and poured herself another.

“Take it easy, honey. I know this town can be depressing, but you don’t have to drown yourself in brandy. Tell me what’s been going on.” Miranda walked over to Chris and poured herself some brandy as well.

“I’m still trying to absorb the fact that you’re here, so give me a minute, okay?” Chris said.

“Okay.”

“How long do you intend to stay?” Chris asked when she got herself together.

“Not long, a couple of days. I was hoping I could see Ellen.”

“I doubt she’d want to see you after what you did to her,” Chris said, not realizing she’d said that out loud.

She’d never put her mother on a pedestal, and she’d never judged her lifestyle or questioned it to her face. The fact that she did so now brought their shared nightmare to the surface.

“So you found out the truth, and now you hate me,” Miranda said.

Chris wondered how she could be so calm about it. “You slept with your best friend’s husband,” she spat out.

“I never said I was a saint.”

Chris wondered why she was surprised that her mother wasn’t even sorry for it. She’d seen firsthand what Miranda was capable of.

“It happened a long time ago, and we’ve all forgotten it. I don’t see why you have to bring it up or why it upsets you,” Miranda said unapologetically.

“You wouldn’t.” Chris walked away from her.

“Look, Christina, there’s a lot more to this than you know or could ever understand.”

“You shouldn’t have come here.” Chris set down her glass of brandy and stomped upstairs to her bedroom.

She paced back and forth, remembering the reasons why she preferred the distance and the occasional phone calls.

Being around Miranda reminded her of who she was and what she’d come from. It reminded her of the faceless men who had walked in and out of Miranda’s life, and that reminder sickened Chris.

Pushing Miranda’s presence to the back of her mind, Chris tried to focus on something else. She changed into her pajamas and went to bed.

The following morning when she was having breakfast, Rosa joined her at the table.

“Where’s Dad?” she asked her.

“He didn’t want to risk running into Miranda, so he left early,” Rosa said. Chris wished she could have done the same thing, too, when Miranda walked into the dining room.

“Good morning,” Miranda said to them, and Rosa politely responded.

“Aren’t you going to say good morning to your mother?” Miranda asked Chris, who felt like a child again being scolded.

“Good morning, Mother,” she said.

It was a good thing Miranda and Rosa got along. Chris didn’t know how else she could have sat through the morning meal.

“I’m leaving,” she said ten minutes later and went out before anyone could respond.

When she got to work, she went straight to the office and started reviewing the countless resumes they had received after they had put out word they were hiring.

“Hey, here’s your coffee.” Jennifer placed the cup on the desk.

“Thanks. Has Alicia arrived yet?”

“Yeah, she just got here, and by the way, Joey looked great last night.”

She acknowledged Jennifer’s remark and got her mind back to work. She didn’t want to remember that her mother was in town. If she did, she’d start resenting her own background all over again.

“Chris?” Alicia said from the door, and Chris felt a wave of calm move over her. “Are you okay? Jennifer said you were acting weird.”

“Since when did you start believing anything Jennifer had to say?” She meant to make it sound like a joke, but the tone the statement took was a bit sterner.

“What’s wrong?” Alicia closed the door behind her.

Chris, not sure she wanted to discuss her mother, threw some of the resumes on the desk and said, “What’s wrong is that we haven’t hired anybody yet and we’re running out of time. The fashion show’s getting closer, and you haven’t finished up the line.”

Alicia took a seat and reached for the resumes. “Have you decided whether you’re going to be the face of the company?”

Chris hadn’t thought about it, but since time was running out and they needed to speed things up, she said, “I’ll do it.”

After reviewing the resumes, they picked out the ones that qualified and told Jennifer to call them for interviews.

* * *

Alicia went home with a prepared speech about what she was going to tell Tony and was surprised when she found her apartment door open, with a candlelit dinner waiting for her.

“Hey,” Tony said from the kitchen door.

Alicia smiled at his nice gesture. He walked over to her and pecked her lips and then hugged her. She’d never known he was a romantic and was surprised by how the dinner gesture touched her.

“Are you hungry?” he asked while he helped her with her coat.

“Starving.” She moved over to the table.

He pulled out a chair for her, and when she sat down, she realized she didn’t have the heart to hurt him, at least not on that particular night when he was going out of his way to make her happy.

“How was your day?” He took a seat and started serving her.

She remembered how withdrawn Chris had been the whole day and how it had spoiled her own mood. “Busy, as usual.”

They had dinner with casual conversation, but she kept thinking about Chris and what was bothering her.

“You look distracted. Are you sure everything’s fine?” Tony asked. She nodded, not sure she could tell him even if they weren’t dating.

She wondered if Chris’s behavior had anything to do with him showing up unexpectedly at her doorstep the previous night.

When dinner was over, Tony blew out the candles and cleaned up even though Alicia offered to do it herself. She used the time to take a shower and dress for bed, after which Jason brought Robbie home.

Robbie wasn’t asleep like the previous night and was very happy to see Tony. Alicia was surprised to see that, apparently for Robbie’s sake, the two men were willing to put their differences aside and get along.

When Robbie asked about their childhood together, Jason seemed happy to tell the stories, and Tony pitched in a comment once in a while.

When Jason left, Robbie went to sleep. After Alicia tucked him in, she went back to the living room and tried to talk Tony into accepting Jason as his business partner.

“If you really wanted it, I don’t think you’d let your pride get in the way,” she said.

“It’s not about me,” Tony said. “It’s about what he did to you.”

“If I forgave him, why can’t you? Why is it so hard for you?” She wished he’d lower his protective guard and be selfish for once.

“Alicia, I can’t talk about this.” Tony got up and she thought he was going to walk out on her.

Quickly, she said, “You two are very important to Robbie. Can’t you put your differences aside and try to get along? Try to be an example to him?” She didn’t want to use that angle to make her argument, but Tony didn’t give her much choice.

“I can’t work with him,” Tony said.

“Why not?”

“Because every time I see him, he reminds me of everything that I never had.”

Alicia looked at him in confusion.

“He got you, he got the career, and now he’s got Robbie.”

The confession left her dumbfounded.

“I’ve always loved you, Alicia. I loved you when you were with him back in high school, and I still love you. I’ve waited years to tell you that, and right now, I don’t care about the career that I never had because it would have turned me into what he is. All I care about is you. I’m going to be different. I’m going to be what he never was for you and Robbie.” He put his arms around her.

Alicia’s heart was beating loud and fast. She hadn’t expected him to declare his undying love for her.

“Tony,” she whispered.

“I resented him for taking you for granted when all you did was love him back. And now I can’t stand that he’s still in your life.” He looked into her eyes, and she could see his love for her. It terrified her.

“We’re not together anymore,” she said, “and I don’t love him. The only reason he’s still in my life is because he’s Robbie’s father. If you care about me as much as you say you do, then I want you to consider putting your hurt feelings aside and think about opening that business.” She turned on her heel and went to her bedroom, hoping he wouldn’t follow her.

Half an hour later, she heard him leave and felt like she had put herself in a precarious position. How was she supposed to break up with him now?

* * *

The following day at work, Alicia was giving the job applicants a physical exercise to test their stitching ability. Chris was doing the verbal interviews in the office. She’d been doing it all day, so Alicia knew she must be tired.

Alicia looked up as a woman she doubted was from Cresswell Falls walked in. The woman appeared foreign, even though she perfectly fit in, which was ironic. Jennifer approached her, and a moment later, she called for Alicia.

“You must be Alicia Mathews,” the woman said. She studied Alicia closely in a manner that almost made her feel uncomfortable.

“I am, how may I help you?”

Before the woman could respond, Chris walked out of the office. “What are you doing here?” she asked the visitor.

“Is that any way to speak to your mother?”

The question left Alicia stunned.

“Alicia, this is Miranda Brewster, my mother,” Chris said in a tone that didn’t sound at all pleased.

“Actually,” Miranda said, “it’s Miranda Thompson now. I dropped my married name.” She shook Alicia’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Alicia said, but the only thought that was going through her mind was that this woman had run off with her father.

“You look just like Ellen.”

Miranda turned back to Chris who led her to the office for privacy.

“Are you going to avoid me the whole time I’m here?” Miranda asked. “Are you still upset with me? Look, why don’t we take a trip together? We could go to Hawaii or Miami, wherever you want, so long as it has a beach. You could use a tan.”

“I have a job,” Chris said. “I can’t just pack up and leave.” That wasn’t the main reason why she wouldn’t travel with her mother, but it was the first thought that came to mind.

“And I’m proud of you for learning to stand on your own two feet, but you’re an heiress. You don’t need a job. You have shares of your father’s real estate firm, and my father left you a fortune before he died.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“We need to sit down and talk about this. You shouldn’t be upset with me when you barely understand what happened. You’ve only heard your father’s side of the story. Wouldn’t you want to know mine?”

“You don’t get to defend yourself,” Chris said.

“Why? Because I live my life the way I do? Because I don’t care about what you think of me?”

“No, because you don’t care about anyone else but yourself.”

“This isn’t just about what you found out, is it?” Miranda asked.

“Mom, just leave. Go back to Berlin or Milan or wherever you were.”

“I’m not going anywhere until we talk.”

“Then stay, but I can assure you we’re not going to live under the same roof.”

“Don’t be childish, Christina.”

“I’m not being childish, Mom. Stay in Cresswell Falls, then. Maybe you’ll manage to find yourself another boy toy to entertain yourself with.” She stormed out.

She stopped after closing the door behind her, not realizing she’d banged it. Alicia, Jennifer, and two interviewees were staring at her.

She almost ran out of the building, and when she got to her car, she stopped to breathe.

“Chris?” She heard Alicia calling after her and looked up.

“Is everything okay?”

“Get in the car,” she told Alicia.

“What?”

Chris entered the car and opened the door for Alicia.

“Get in.”

Alicia got in.

Chris focused on the road. She drove quietly and aimlessly for half an hour until Alicia asked, “Why are you so mad at her?”

“Is there a place you know where we can be alone?” Chris asked instead of answering.

“If you drive in that direction, we can be at my mother’s in ten minutes. She had errands to run today, so I don’t think she’ll be at home.”

Ten minutes later, Chris parked the car at Alicia’s mother’s house.

Alicia led her to the porch, retrieved a spare key from a pot of flowers just outside the door, and let Chris in.

Alicia disappeared into the kitchen, and Chris looked around the living room. She stepped over to a stand that had nicely framed pictures.

“Are you going to answer me?” Alicia said when she got back with a glass of lemonade.

Chris looked at the pictures, smiling at how happy Alicia appeared to be, and then stopped at Robbie’s picture. She picked it up and gazed at it for a minute. “The last time I saw my parents together as a couple, I think I was just about to turn nine,” Chris said.

“She had a different man in her bed almost every night. The longest she lasted in a relationship after the divorce was a week, and it didn’t even seem to bother her. She’d replace the old guy with a new one. I was too young to understand, too young to care.”

She put the picture back down and ran her finger over the frame. “Shortly after we moved to New York, after I had just turned ten, her boyfriend of the time came to my bedroom while I was sleeping.”

Chris went back in time, and she could see herself as clearly as though it had just happened. Bad memories tended to stick around. “I remember how frightened I was when he woke me up. He calmed me down and then undressed me, telling me he wasn’t going to hurt me. He started touching me as he rubbed himself, and when he was through, he walked out.”

She detached herself from the child in her who had suffered that horrible fate and resumed. “The second time he came into my room, Miranda walked in on him. She was so upset. I never saw him again after that, but she didn’t stop. She continued dating as though it was the only thing that kept her alive. When I was eleven, she dated this guy who had a short and uncontrolled temper. One night they had a fight, and he beat her up pretty badly. I thought she was going to die.” She shivered at the memory.

“I went to her, but she kept telling me to go back to my bedroom and lock myself in. I was afraid if I did that, he would kill her. When he was going to hit her, I got in the way and he knocked me out. When I came to, I was in a hospital and she was by my bedside, promising she would never let anyone else hurt me. All I could think about was how glad I was that she was alive.”

Chris turned to look away when Alicia got to her feet and walked over to her. “After I got better, she resumed her old lifestyle. I loved it when Dad came to visit. For a while I could forget what was going on with Mom. She made me promise that I would never tell him, so I never did.”

She turned to Alicia at that moment. “Do you want me to go on?”

Alicia hesitated, obviously in shock, and then she nodded.

“I lost my virginity at thirteen after one of her many boyfriends raped me. She found out about it but still didn’t change. After that, I got used to some of her boyfriends forcing themselves on me. I kept thinking that maybe I deserved it, because if she’d cared enough, she would have sent me to Dad or would have considered changing her lifestyle.” She tried but failed to pull herself free from her childhood.

“Shortly after I moved out, she met another guy. His name was Kevin Somers. I remember him because he was the only man she ever fell in love with. After I met him, she kept inviting me over for dinner and other silly get-togethers. I thought it was because she wanted us to get along in case they got married.”

She closed her eyes as she relived the memories and told the most heartbreaking story. “I forgave her for everything she let happen to me, but I have never forgiven her for this one.” Her voice shook, and she struggled to keep it steady.

“She was so in love with Kevin, and I didn’t blame her, he was a great guy and he was good to her. That was why I made the effort to be there for her whenever she needed me. He called me one evening and invited me to dinner. I was seventeen by then. When I got there, he was home alone. I waited for my mom to show up, and he said she wasn’t coming but he wanted to get to know me since I was going to be such a big part of his life.”

She inhaled deeply, trying to create more room within herself. She felt like her heart was expanding in her chest. “He started hitting on me, and I realized he was just like the rest of the guys Mom dated. When I told him I had to go, he wouldn’t let me leave. He started insulting me, asking if I thought he didn’t notice how I looked at him or how I behaved around him. I thought he’d lost it, because I didn’t know what he was talking about.”

Unable to stand still, she took a step away and clenched her hands into fists. “When I was going to leave, he knocked my head against the door and I passed out. When I came to…” She closed her eyes, trying to prevent the tears that threatened to fall. “He was on top of me, forcing himself on me. I struggled against him, but he was stronger than I was.”

Alicia reached for her hand, but Chris yanked it away as though she’d just been burnt. “Mom walked in on it, and she went ballistic. I grabbed my clothes as Kevin made up all these lies about me coming on to him and seducing him. I ran out, and didn’t see Mom again for weeks. When I did, I thought she was going to tell me she had broken up with him and that he was a jerk just like the other guys she’d been with who had taken advantage of me. But do you know what she said?” Chris tried to hold on to her breaking heart.

“She told me I was ruining her life. She said that from the moment I’d been born, all I’d ever done was ruin her. She told me she loved Kevin, and it was my fault he had forced himself on me.” The tears she’d been holding back came streaming forth.

“My fault,” she repeated.

“Oh, Chris.”

Alicia’s voice pierced through the nightmare she was reliving, but Chris went on. “She said I couldn’t stand to see her happy. She got married to him a couple of months later, and I wasn’t even invited to the wedding. They stayed together for a month before she had the marriage annulled.” She placed her hand over her scarred heart and tried to fight the tears.

“She tried to get in touch with me after the annulment, but I wanted nothing to do with her. I didn’t see her or speak to her for four years. I had started modeling by that time, and she was still trying to contact me. I gave in because Dad wouldn’t stop asking me how she was.

“We had lunch, but we were two different people. She tried to apologize for everything she’d said, but I didn’t want to hear it. When I told her I couldn’t see her anymore, because it was still too painful for me, she said I owed her because she was the reason I was modeling.” She paused. Feeling like the memories had taken up all of her energy, she sat down.

“I thought I had been discovered, but she was the one who had orchestrated the whole thing. She told me she’d never stopped looking after me, even though I was so mad at her. She forced her way back into my life and became my manager. A part of me knew it was her way of trying to rebuild our broken relationship, and after years of proving herself to me, I gave her another chance. We barely saw each other, and that made it easy for us to get along. After years of being my manager, she resigned, saying she wanted to be my mother again.” She wiped away the remains of tears that had now stopped falling.

“By then, I was traveling all over the world and never got to see her, so it was easy to forget. When we did see each other, it was for a day or two in a span of years apart.” She stopped and thought back to Alicia’s question.

“I want to say that the reason why I’m so mad at her is because being around her brings everything back, but the real reason is because I see myself in her.”

Alicia sat beside her and said, “You’re nothing like her.”

Chris got to her feet again.

“You don’t know the person I was before I came to this town. You don’t know the real me.” She thought about Joey, who seemed to have a clearer picture of who she truly was.

“Maybe I don’t, Chris, but I know the person you’ve become,” Alicia said.

“When people look at me,” Chris said, “they see what they want to see. They see the exterior part of who I am. They say I’m beautiful. They say I’m lucky. But they don’t know me. If they did, they would see how over the years the scars wore me out. They would see my pain and my struggles. They would see my prison. All those things those men did to me are inside of me, and I have to live with them. I can’t forget them.”

Alicia turned Chris around and wrapped her arms around her. Chris drew comfort and strength from her as she hugged her back and closed her eyes, willing everything to return to that little black box of scars and pain.

“You’re not alone,” Alicia whispered and kissed Chris’s neck. “You’re not alone,” she softly repeated and pulled back.

For the first time in her life, Chris felt exposed. Alicia was looking at her with the knowledge of her dark past. Alicia’s sad expression sympathized with the child who had suffered through the cruel fate.

“It’s a part of me,” Chris said, “and I can’t change it. I can’t change who I am.”

“I don’t want you to. You have no idea how amazing you are. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. I wish you could see what I see when I look at you,” Alicia said and Chris embraced her.

Suddenly, it felt safe for Chris to be so exposed. She could cry without having to feel weak. She could talk about it without feeling judged. She could fight her way out of her imprisonment and finally find healing.

* * *

“Christina, you don’t have to do this,” Miranda said.

“I do.”

“I came all this way to see you.”

“I didn’t ask you to come.”

“I’m only here because of you. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be in a place where you’re not wanted? I went to see Ellen today, and she wouldn’t even talk to me.”

“Great, make this all about you.” Chris took her clothes from her closet and put them in a suitcase.

“I’m not trying to make this about me. Do you think I want to be here?”

“Then leave. I don’t need you. I haven’t needed you for a long time.”

She didn’t bother to neatly fold her clothes. All she wanted was to be as far away from her mother as she could possibly get.

“Your father was in love with Ellen, and I married him despite knowing that. Ellen loved him, too, but she was in love with Ray. Every single day I spent with him, I knew he would never love me the way he loved her. When we got you, I thought he would change. But when I realized that would never happen, when I realized he would never look at me the way he looked at her, I cheated on him. I wanted to hurt them both for making me miserable, so I slept with Ray. It’s no excuse, and I’m ashamed of it, but I won’t apologize for it.”

“Like you’ve never had to apologize for anything you’ve ever done with your life?”

“Christina, I’ve spent years trying to make up for everything I put you through. I won’t let this come between us, and if I have to stay here until we work things out, then I will.”

“You can stay, but I’m leaving.” Chris zipped up the suitcase and picked it up as she left.

“Chris, please,” Miranda implored, but Chris didn’t stop.

“Chris?” She heard her father call after her. “What’s going on?”

“I’m going to stay in a hotel,” she said.

“You’re not going to do any such thing.” His voice rose. “I demand to know what’s going on!”

“Chris,” Miranda said, “this is your home. You don’t have to go. I will.”

“Can someone explain to me what’s going on?” Alan said.

Chris walked over to her father and dropped her suitcase. “Nothing’s going on, Dad. Mom was just leaving.” She wrapped her arms around him and watched as Miranda went back upstairs.

“Why are you fighting with your mother?” Alan asked when they were alone.

“It’s a mother-daughter thing, Dad. You wouldn’t understand.” She was afraid the truth could send him to his grave.

“But, honey, if it’s something that bothers you enough to want to leave…”

“I’m not leaving, Dad. She is,” Chris reminded him and took her suitcase back upstairs.

Despite everything that had happened, Chris felt sorry for Miranda. But her presence had a huge impact on her. Not only did it bring everything back, it also broke her heart.

Seeing her again always reminded Chris that Miranda had chosen to believe a man over her own daughter. She doubted she was strong enough to ever find it in herself to forgive or forget that.

“Chris?” Miranda said from the door. “I’ve always known it was never going to be easy for you to forgive me, but I always hoped you would try.”

“And you think I haven’t?”

“I know I hurt you,” Miranda said.

Chris shook her head, tired of the same old speech. “Don’t. Don’t apologize again. It won’t make anything go away.”

“I love you, Chris.”

“Do you?” Hearing those words from her mother hurt more than her memories did.

“You know I do,” Miranda said as tears started falling down her cheeks.

“Then undo everything you’ve ever done to hurt me. Maybe then, hearing those words will make a difference.”

Miranda wiped away the tears and said, “I’m not leaving this town. I’m not running away again. Chris, you’re the only family I’ve got, and I’m not going to lose you.”

Chris stepped over to the door where Miranda was standing and said softly, “You lost me a long time ago.” She closed the door in Miranda’s face, leaned against it, and cried.

She’d never be able to understand how someone who was supposed to love her the most could inflict the worst kind of pain.

Chapter 17

“Have you gone to see her?” Alicia asked Chris at work a couple of days later.

After she’d exposed the skeletons in her closet, something about it had brought them closer together. Chris found it easy to confide in Alicia.

“No, but she won’t stop calling.”

“Have you tried talking to her?”

“No, I don’t think I’m ready.”

“I don’t think you’ll ever be. That’s why I think you should go see her.”

Chris had never confronted Miranda over what had happened to her while growing up. She was afraid that if she got angry enough, she’d unleash it all and wouldn’t know how to deal with it.

“No, I need to do something to get my mind off it for a while.” Chris got up and paced around the office.

“Why don’t you come over tomorrow and teach Robbie the rest of the skateboarding tricks? He often asks about you, and I’m sure you could use the distraction.”

Chris smiled. That was exactly what she needed. “I think I’d like that.”

“Good. Now I think I should get back to training our new employees.” Alicia got up from the desk. “If you need me…” she said from the door.

Chris finished the sentence for her. “I know where to find you.”

Alicia rewarded her with a smile and closed the door.

Chris got back to work, creating as little room in her mind as possible for unwanted thoughts. When she went home that evening, she found Alan, Rosa, and Miranda casually having dinner as though it were the most natural setting in the world.

“Honey, come join us,” Rosa said, and out of deep respect for her stepmother, Chris sat down at the table.

“How was work?” Miranda asked.

Chris forced a smile and said pleasantly, “Work was good.”

“Would you like some soup?” Alan said. “Maggie made it just the way you like it.”

Chris took the bowl and served herself some. “Thanks, Dad.”

“I went to see Ellen again today,” Miranda said. “I thought she would have remarried after Ray left her.”

The remark made Chris tighten her hold on her spoon.

“She didn’t see the need to,” Alan said.

“Maybe because she always hoped you would look in her direction again. Rosa, doesn’t it ever bother you that Alan always had feelings for her?”

It bothered Chris that Miranda could talk like that about the people Chris cared about and not even flinch while she did it.

“I don’t believe he does,” Rosa said, and Alan reached for her hand over the table.

“He used to charm me into believing the same thing until I walked in on him kissing her.”

Chris dropped her spoon as a cold silence surrounded the table.

“Miranda, what are you doing?” Alan asked.

“Making conversation,” Miranda said casually. Rosa got up and left the table with Alan following after her.

“Are you happy now?” Chris asked Miranda.

“No, I’m not happy, because you won’t talk to me.”

“Is that why you’re trying to pick a fight with Dad? Is there something about seeing him fight with Rosa that pleases you?” When Miranda didn’t speak, Chris said, “What do you feel you need to say to make things right between us?” She pushed away her plate.

“I want you to give us time together, enough time for us to remember how it used to be and recapture it.”

“And you think that will magically erase everything that’s happened between us?”

“It will repair our relationship, if you give it a chance,”

“I have given it a chance.” Chris got up from her chair. “You don’t get it, do you? Our relationship only works when you’re far away because then we can both pretend bad things never happened. But when you’re here, every time I see your face…” She stopped her thoughts from getting mired in the past. If she dared finish that sentence, it was only going to do more damage than good. She walked away.

* * *

“See, I knew this would cheer you up,” Alicia told Chris that Saturday afternoon. They were seated on the front steps of the apartment building from where they could see Robbie on the playground.

“I can’t believe how much he’s improved.” Chris watched Robbie skateboarding. “You’re doing great, Robbie.” She cheered him on, and he acknowledged it with a smile.

“You’re doing great, too,” Alicia said.

“Thanks.” Chris wished she’d had such a wonderful mother and such a wonderful life. She suspected she wouldn’t have been able to get through that recent hard time with Miranda had Alicia not been there to give her strength and ease her sanity.

Alicia stretched out her hand and touched Chris’s shoulder.

Sitting on a step below Alicia, Chris welcomed the comfort and moved closer, as Alicia innocently ran her fingers through Chris’s hair.

Chris leaned back against Alicia and braced her arms around her legs while Alicia gently smoothed back her hair and then automatically planted a kiss on her head. Chris knew it was something she would have done with Robbie or anyone else seated next to her in such a position, but for some reason, because of their history, it didn’t feel quite as innocent.

Alicia was wearing a pair of shorts and Chris was absent-mindedly running her fingers over Alicia’s exposed legs.

“Hey, keep doing that trick, Robbie, you’ve almost got it,” Chris said.

Alicia gently pushed Chris away, struggled to stand up, and said, “I’m going to get us some drinks. I’m a bit thirsty.”

Chris picked up her own skateboard and joined Robbie, skating in circles around him. Robbie followed her lead, and they both skated around the playground. It became a game of tag and skate, where if Robbie tagged Chris, she’d chase after him on her board and vice versa.

They were having fun, and Chris was as distracted as she’d hoped to be when Tony came out of nowhere. She almost ran into him.

“Where did you come from?” she asked, laughing as she stopped and Robbie got a chance to tag her.

“Hey, Tony,” Robbie said and quickly skateboarded away.

When Chris was about to chase after him, Tony asked if he could talk to her.

“Robbie, give me a minute, okay?” Chris yelled after Robbie who had gotten quite far away.

“Okay.” Robbie resumed casual skateboarding and practiced the tricks Chris had taught him.

She laughed at his successful attempts and turned her attention to Tony. “What’s up?” she asked.

Studying him closely, she realized he looked almost mad at her and she wondered if he disapproved of her teaching Robbie how to skate.

“Look, I can’t think of a nice way to say this, but I think you should stay away from Alicia and Robbie.”

Surprised by his nerve, she asked, “Why?”

He looked at her with a resentment she couldn’t understand and said, “She’s straight, okay? I know you’re trying to hit on her, and it won’t work.”

Wondering where he’d gotten that from since she’d never given him reason to believe she was interested in Alicia, she said, “I don’t know why you think that’s what I’m doing, but I can assure you it’s not. There’s nothing but friendship between us.”

As though that frustrated him even more, he said, “Everybody’s talking about your mother, and very soon, they’re going to start talking about you. They’re going to discover that you’re a lesbian. Since you’re connected to Alicia, she’s going to be judged and victimized again, and I won’t let that happen. If you care about her and Robbie, I suggest you take your things and get out of here.”

Deeply insulted and hurt by his words, she asked, “And who is going to tell them? You? Go ahead, I don’t care.”

He took a step closer to her, and she wondered if she’d misjudged him. He’d always appeared to be such a nice guy. To hear him speak like that to her made her regret having pushed Alicia into his arms.

“You care about Robbie, and you care about Alicia,” he said. “Your mother’s an immoral woman, and you’re just like her. Alicia can’t be connected to people like you.”

He hardly knew her, but his words hurt more than she could have imagined.

“Leave. Get out of here,” he said.

Chris angrily strode to her car and gunned it away as tears blurred her vision. Her mother hadn’t been in town for a week, and she was already ruining her life all over again.

* * *

When Alicia walked back downstairs with a bottle of lemonade and three plastic cups, she was disappointed to find Tony.

She hoped she could talk Tony into leaving them alone for the afternoon. He was interrupting them. She looked around for Chris and saw her car wasn’t where it had been parked.

Tony surprised her by embracing her and kissing her so intensely she felt like he was forcing himself on her. She’d been putting off talking to him because he’d kept his distance and hadn’t pressured her into anything. But being in his arms as his tongue explored her mouth made her regret not having settled the situation.

She pushed him away and inhaled, wondering if he was trying to smother her. Robbie was some distance away, attempting to balance himself on two skateboards, which made Alicia realize Chris had left.

“Robbie, be careful,” she called, and he got off the skateboards and resumed playing on one.

“Where’s Chris?” she asked Tony as she set down the bottle of lemonade and the cups.

“She left.”

“She left? Why?” Alicia asked, thinking Chris wouldn’t leave without telling her.

“I told her it was probably for the best if she kept her distance, because her mother’s in town and everybody’s talking about her.” Tony wrapped his arms around her.

She replayed his sentence in her head, and an anger she’d never known she possessed overcame her. “You told her what?” she asked as she pulled away from him.

“You know, with her mom being in town and with people starting to talk, it’s just a matter of time before it gets back to you and Robbie.”

“How dare you?” Alicia was suddenly disgusted by how she felt every time he forced his feelings on her.

“Alicia, you’re overreacting. Think about it. Do you want to be subjected to malicious gossip again? I mean, it’s only a matter of time before everyone discovers she’s a lesbian. You don’t want to be dragged down with her when that happens.”

She felt like someone else had taken over her body. She slapped Tony hard across the face, leaving her hand with a burning sensation.

“You had no right to say that to her. You don’t even know her. You don’t know what she’s been through.” Alicia had never been so angry before that she’d resorted to physical violence.

“I was just doing what was right for you.” Tony covered his cheek with his hand.

“You don’t know what’s right. If you did, you wouldn’t be so quick to judge. Chris is better than everyone in this town combined, including you. If you had a shred of human decency within you, if you cared about me and Robbie as much as you claim to, you wouldn’t have said those things to Chris.”

“Alicia, do you want to be a victim of malicious gossip again?”

“You have no idea what you’ve done.” Alicia knew Chris had not taken what he had said to her lightly. “I was wrong about you. You’re just like everyone else in this town,” she said as she turned to Robbie who was still playing.

She didn’t want him to witness their fight because he cared about Tony. “Robbie, go upstairs,” she said. He looked surprised, but he picked up the two skateboards and ran past them into the building.

“Alicia, don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic?” Tony asked.

She thought about Chris and everything she was going through and then recalled how peaceful she’d been playing with Robbie as though those hard days were finally behind her. Tony had taken her back to that deep dark place she’d been in, and Alicia’s anger increased. “I don’t ever want to see you again,” she said between clenched teeth.

“Because of what I told her? Alicia, come on. If you want me to apologize to her, I will, but don’t let this come between us.”

“Right now, your apologies won’t make a difference. As for you and me, we’re over.”

“Okay, what do you want me to do? Beg her for forgiveness?” he asked. “I love you, Alicia. Don’t let this ruin what we have.”

She was so mad at him she didn’t care about hurting his feelings anymore. “My wanting to break up with you has nothing to do with what you just said to Chris. The truth is, I don’t feel any love for you. The only reason I got together with you is because I let Chris convince me I could be happy with you. If she’d never come into my life, I never would have given you a second thought. If I was with you, it was only because of her.”

If she weren’t so angry, the broken expression across his face would have touched her enough to want to be gentle with him, but at that point she was past caring.

“If you thought you were helping me by pushing her away, you were wrong. The only thing you managed to do was make me hate you. I want you to stay away from me.”

She left him standing there and hurried into the building. When she got to her apartment, she started calling Chris’s number, but it kept going to voicemail. After half an hour of trying without success, she flopped onto the couch as tears burned her eyelids.

* * *

After Chris left Alicia’s place, she drove around town feeling like someone had emptied a shotgun into her heart. It wasn’t the worst feeling in the world, but it certainly hurt.

Unable to cope with what was going through her, she drove home and went to her father’s liquor cabinet. She filled one glass after another as the liquid burned its way down her throat.

She tried not to think, but every memory, every sensation, and every ounce of pain and hurt traveled through her, leaving the same effect but with a rather different impact.

One by one, the memories looped around themselves like a movie with a replay button, each clearer and more painful than the last. The climaxing effect was the memory of Kevin.

Suddenly overcome by rage, she got out of the house and drove off. The chill wind braced her with a sobering effect, but not enough to make her want to stop.

In half an hour, she pulled her car into the parking area of her mother’s hotel. When she announced her visit at the reception desk, the male receptionist phoned her mother’s room, and a moment later, she was ushered into an elevator.

She walked down the hallway to Miranda’s room and knocked on the door. When the door opened, she walked in and almost staggered but was able to reclaim her balance.

“Are you drunk?” Miranda asked.

Instead of answering the question, Chris said, “I forgave you every time one of your boyfriends molested me or forced themselves on me. I forgave you when that guy knocked me out cold when he was beating you. I forgave you, because you were my mother. But there is only so much I can forgive.”

Confronting her mother now felt more liberating than she had imagined.

“Every time I thought you’d stop, you’d go out and get yourself another boyfriend. That day I woke up in the hospital after that guy knocked me out...” She couldn’t remember their names; they had all faded into one faceless monster. “I believed you when you said you would never let anyone hurt me again.”

She started crying.

“They raped me and you did nothing. They molested me, but you just continued bringing home one after another. And I forgave you. I forgave you because I loved you, because you were my mother.” She sat down, remembering the most painful part.

“You chose to believe Kevin over me when you walked in on him raping me, and for as long as I breathe, that is one thing I’ll never be able to forgive.” Chris’s deep sobs hurt her chest.

“Chris, baby.” Tears poured from Miranda’s eyes. She knelt before Chris and took her hands in hers. “You have no idea how much I hate myself for everything I put you through. I knew I was hurting you—”

“But you never stopped.” Chris pulled her hands away.

“I tried, baby.”

“You tried? Was that you trying to stop it when you lied about how you would never let anyone else hurt me? Was that you trying when you dumped each guy who hurt me and replaced him with another? Was that you trying to protect me?” Chris got to her feet and put space between her and her mother.

“All you’ve ever done was hurt me. If you had never cheated on Dad with Alicia’s father, if you had let Dad keep me when you went to New York, none of this would have happened. I would still love you, and I would still respect you. But I’m so scarred inside, just seeing you again wounds me more.” She was speaking from such a depth of pain that it left her weak.

“You should be happy that I’m no longer in your way. You should be glad that I’m no longer ruining your life,” she said, using the same words her mother had once used. “Pack your things and leave. There’s nothing for you here. If you came hoping to get a chance to have a closer relationship with me, you made a mistake.”

She ignored the look on her mother’s face and left. A weight had been lifted off her shoulders, but a new kind of hurt took over. Saying all those things was acknowledging what a failure her mother had been.

She got in her car and drove off, recalling the conversation, recalling her harsh words. She’d never thought she would get the chance to say all those things out loud.

She turned the car into the fast lane and stepped on the gas. Just before she’d left Alicia’s, Tony said she was exactly like Miranda. It may not have been in the same sense or context as she feared, but it made no difference.

Miranda had never found happiness, she’d never found satisfaction, and she’d never found peace. She’d searched for it all in the wrong men and subjected her own flesh and blood to her selfish choices.

If there was a shred of similarity between them, Chris was going to get rid of it. She wouldn’t end up like her mother.

The thoughts went on and on in her head. She didn’t realize she had turned into the wrong lane until bright lights coming at her blinded her vision. Only her quick reflexes avoided a head-on collision.

She yanked the wheel abruptly. The car overturned and tumbled off the side of the road. She heard an explosion as the airbag released and smacked her in the chest. It protected her head from ramming into the steering wheel, but the rest of her body went numb.

Chapter 18

Alicia had just poured some milk into Robbie’s cereal when her phone rang. She had tried reaching Chris ever since she’d left, but hadn’t gotten an answer. The lack of contact was worrying her.

Now, she reached for the phone on the first ring and hoped it was Chris returning her calls. When her mother’s voice vibrated through the phone, disappointment filled her.

“Good morning, Mom.”

“Alicia?” The tone of her voice alerted Alicia.

“Is something wrong?” she asked in concern.

“Alan just called to tell me that Chris was in an accident last night.”

Utter shock and despair embraced her. Horrified, she was speechless.

“Alicia, are you there?” Ellen asked.

“Which hospital was she taken to?”

“St. Mary’s.”

“Thanks, Mom.” She hung up.

“Robbie, get your coat.” she said as she grabbed hers. Robbie met her in the living room and they headed outside.

“Mom, is something wrong?” Robbie asked when they got in the car.

“Chris was in an accident last night.”

“Is she going to be okay?” Robbie asked.

“I don’t know, honey.”

They got to the hospital awhile later and found Rosa and Ellen in the waiting room. She asked a distressed Rosa. “Is she okay?”

“She has a couple of broken limbs, but the doctor says she’s going to be fine. Alan’s with her now.”

Alicia felt some relief, but the worried looks on Rosa’s and Ellen’s faces told her there was more. “What is it?” she asked.

Rosa walked her some distance away from Robbie and said, “Miranda took an overdose of pills last night. She tried to kill herself.”

Alicia’s whole world went silent as the words replayed themselves.

“When Alan got the call that Chris had been in an accident, he called Miranda to inform her. When she didn’t pick up, we went by her hotel room on our way here and found her lying unconscious. She had an empty bottle of pills in her hands.”

“How is she?”

“The doctors pumped her stomach, but it had been awhile before we found her. She’s in critical condition.”

“Does Chris know?”

“No, not yet. She’s in a fragile state after what happened to her last night, but we have to tell her before she hears it from someone else. A lot of people were there when Miranda was taken out of the hotel room by the paramedics.”

After Rosa explained everything to her, Alicia sat down in the waiting room, and Robbie came to sit on her lap. She wrapped her arms around him and thought about the events of the previous afternoon.

She couldn’t help thinking maybe Tony’s unkind words had triggered what was happening now. Chris must have been very upset after he’d confronted her. Alicia wondered if she was to blame.

“She’s going to be okay, honey,” Ellen said.

“Can you call Jason to come pick up Robbie? I don’t think he needs to be in a hospital.” Ellen nodded and took Robbie with her as she went to make the call.

Alan got back a moment later. Alicia was at a loss for words when she saw how destroyed he was.

“Can I see her?” she asked Chris’s parents, who nodded and directed her to Chris’s room.

When she walked in, her heart fluttered. Chris was in a neck brace and had a cast on her arm.

Uncontrolled tears burned Alicia’s eyes as she tiptoed to the bedside and looked at Chris’s beautiful face. Suddenly, she felt like she was to blame for everything and the tears burning her eyes trickled down her cheeks.

She leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Chris’s forehead. She touched Chris’s hair and kissed her again, trying to push away the fear that held her captive.

Her heart didn’t seem to be hers anymore. Rather than stay in her chest where it belonged, it was there, lying on that hospital bed, unconscious. Knowing she had inflicted that pain crushed her. She silently and tearfully begged for Chris to wake up.

The door opened, and Alicia wiped away her tears when Ellen entered the room. Robbie wasn’t with her, which pleased Alicia. She wouldn’t want him to see Chris like that.

Ellen came over and hugged her. “Jason’s on his way to get Robbie. I’m going to leave you alone with Chris.” She let go and stepped back out.

Alicia looked at Chris’s pale skin. Her eyes were slightly swollen, and the waterproof makeup she usually put on was wearing off.

She realized Chris had been crying. Without a doubt, Tony’s verbal attack was the reason she was lying there.

“Alicia?” She heard Chris’s weak voice and thought she’d imagined it. Chris’s eyes were still closed, and her features weren’t moving.

When Chris slowly fluttered her eyes open and smiled, it broke Alicia’s heart. “Am I in heaven?” Chris asked weakly before she noticed Alicia’s tears. “Hey, why are you crying?”

Alicia wiped away her tears, but they kept on coming. She couldn’t control them.

“It’s okay,” Chris said. She grasped Alicia’s shirt in her good hand and slowly pulled her closer.

Alicia leaned against Chris’s chest, wishing the stubborn tears away. When she was calmer and they were no longer falling, she pulled back and looked at Chris.

“I’m sorry about what Tony said. I feel like it’s my fault that you’re here.” She noticed how weak her own voice was.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. I was driving over the speed limit while drunk.”

“Tony told me what he said to you yesterday. I know it’s the reason you were upset.”

“Is that why you’re crying? Because you blame yourself for my accident?” Chris touched Alicia’s face to wipe away the tears.

“It’s not the only reason.” Alicia took Chris’s hand and placed a kiss on her palm.

“Why else?”

Alicia didn’t know whether Chris was ready to hear it, but after the fright she had given her, what Alicia felt had stunned her as much as it had relieved her to find out that Chris was going to be okay.

“I’m crying because I’m in love with you,” Alicia said.

Chris pulled Alicia close to her and captured her lips in a kiss. The newness of the touch, the tenderness of the simple act, and the love that fueled it, made it feel to Alicia like it was their very first kiss.

Chris softly tugged at her lower lip, and Alicia had never felt anything so powerful. She couldn’t define or compare it to anything else. She thought she had been in love with Jason, but that paled in comparison to what she felt for Chris.

The door opened and Alan and Rosa came in. Chris let go of Alicia and held onto her hand. The fear Alicia had expected to claim her if anyone ever learned how she felt about Chris, or worse, ever walked in on them, was absent.

Alan and Rosa looked happy and relieved to see that Chris was okay. Alicia thought they wanted to have a family moment and was going to leave them alone. Chris held onto her hand, motioning for her to stay in the room.

“What’s wrong?” Chris asked as her parents’ expressions changed and Rosa went to stand beside Alicia.

Alan walked over to the bedside and obviously struggled to say what Chris needed to know.

Alicia felt Chris’s hand tightening in hers. “It’s your mother, Chris. She took an overdose of pills. She’s here but she’s in very bad shape,” he said.

Chris let go of Alicia’s hand and slumped in the bed. “Chris?” Alicia called in desperation, grabbing to retrieve her hand.

“Chris?” Rosa called in a voice full of fear. Alan ran out and yelled from the door, “We need a doctor in here!”

The machines attached to Chris started beeping. Alicia panicked as nurses and doctors came running into the room and ushered them out.

Alicia hurried to Ellen as they entered the waiting room. “Chris collapsed!”

“I knew it was too soon to tell her. If anything happens to her...” Alan berated himself while Rosa tried to comfort him.

Alicia was crippled by fear. She couldn’t move, and she couldn’t speak. As Ellen held onto her, all she could do was pray that Chris was okay.

The doctor came out almost half an hour later. What he told them left them all in a state of shock.

“She’s gone into a coma.”

Alan was inconsolable, Rosa was crying, and a troubled Ellen was trying to comfort Alicia.

Alicia felt so completely helpless. The one person she’d ever truly loved was fighting for her life. She panicked at the thought of living a life without Chris.

Ellen talked Alicia into going home. Alicia couldn’t bear to let Robbie see her so distraught, so Ellen arranged for him to stay with Jason.

By midday, the whole town was talking about the Brewster double tragedy, and by the following day, it was all over the local newspapers.

Tony came to see Alicia at the apartment. Ellen was unaware of their falling out, so she let him in. When Alicia saw him, the rage inside of her took form and she confronted him, ineffectively punching his chest with her small fists as she told him it was his fault.

Ellen asked Tony to leave, and awhile after calming down, Alicia explained to Ellen a little bit of what had been going on.

“I have to go see Chris,” she said.

“Alan and Rosa are with her. You’re the first person they’ll call as soon as something happens.”

“But I should be there. She needs me.”

“What you need to do is go back to work and get yourself together before Robbie starts wondering what’s wrong with you,” Ellen told her, and Alicia knew she was right.

Being at the hospital and seeing Chris in that condition had made her feel weak and useless. “Thanks for being here,” she said to Ellen. She felt more appreciative of her mother after everything she’d learned about Chris’s.

“You’re my daughter and you need me. Where else would I be?”

Alicia didn’t know what was wrong with her, but as soon as Ellen said that, she started tearing up again.

“It’s okay.” Ellen took her back in her arms.

* * *

“Mr. Brewster, may I talk to you?” the doctor who was treating Miranda asked.

Rosa patted Alan’s back, and they both got up from the waiting room seats. She was terrified that something would happen to Alan if anything else went wrong.

Two days had passed, and Chris still hadn’t recovered from the coma. All types of reporters and paparazzi were parading outside the hospital, and everyone knew about Chris’s accident and her mother’s suicide attempt.

Rosa had called Drew the moment they’d learned of the accident. Before they’d even finished talking, Drew said she would be home as soon as possible. Rosa was terrified of what would happen if Chris never came out of the coma, but she dared not think of it and instead prayed.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this,” the doctor said, “but we did everything we could. The pills had caused too much damage to her system.”

Rosa’s heart leapt out of her chest when Alan collapsed at the dreadful news. The doctor quickly started administering first aid and called for assistance.

Rosa feared she might have lost him, too. A few minutes later, he came to. She was informed he had just fainted, and he recovered very quickly.

“When Chris wakes up,” Alan said, “and finds out her mother is dead…”

Rosa wrapped her arms around him. “She’s a fighter, Alan.” Even as she said the words, her fear for Chris’s life matched that of Alan’s.

* * *

Alicia tried to keep her mind on her work, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Chris. Everyone showed genuine concern for her, and even Jennifer tried to be there for her. When she got the call and found out Miranda had died, she was afraid of what the news would do to Chris.

She went straight to the hospital. Reporters and paparazzi were parked all over the place, and it was difficult to find a parking space.

By the time she got into the hospital, she was worried and frustrated. The look in Alan’s and Rosa’s eyes matched the feeling inside her, and she feared even more for Chris’s life.

She hugged them both, and Rosa gave her the details about what had happened. Alicia called her mother and informed her of what was going on.

“I’m going to make the funeral arrangements,” Alan said and left them alone.

When he got back awhile later, Alicia went to see Chris. She looked as beautiful as the very first day Alicia had set eyes on her.

The neck brace had been taken off, but the cast on her arm was still there. It was slightly suspended in the air to keep her as comfortable and free of pain as possible.

“I can’t lose you,” Alicia said, and the tears that were now always lurking behind her eyelids started falling. “There’s so much I have to say.”

Her mind took her back to the day at the mansion when they had been talking about their children. She found herself wanting a chance for it, needing it, and desperately holding onto it as though it were the only piece of hope she had.

She sat down at Chris’s bedside and drifted off as she dreamed about their future together. She wanted that future more than she’d ever wanted anything else in her life, and she prayed that one day they would have it.

“Alicia?” A soft, sad voice that she hadn’t heard in a while woke her up. When she saw Drew, she threw her arms around the younger Brewster sister.

“I got here as soon as I could,” Drew said while Alicia continued to hold her. “I can’t believe this is happening. I always saw Chris as the kind of person who could never get hurt.”

Feeling emotionally drained and weak, Alicia released her and said, “Let’s pray she’s going to be okay.”

Drew leaned forward and kissed her sister’s forehead.

* * *

Chris wasn’t in her body. She was in Miranda’s hotel room, and she was confronting her again. She felt like she was trapped in her worst nightmare and wished she could undo what had happened.

In her mind, she was telling her mother off. Finally, she decided maybe they had both suffered enough, and this time, when her mother said she was sorry, Chris believed her.

Miranda embraced Chris in the way she had been unable to in years and told her that she loved her despite everything hurtful she had done.

Chris was so tired of being mad at her and carrying that heavy burden. She told Miranda she forgave her.

When she did so, her guilt left her. Miranda pulled back and smiled at her, promising she would never hurt her again.

Chris took her hand as they walked to the door. When Miranda opened it, she told Chris that everything was going to be okay. They walked out together, but the moment they stepped out, Chris was alone.

She searched for Miranda, but she was gone. Even in her unconscious state, Chris realized she had released Miranda from the bondage of that room. Memories of what had happened between them flitted through her as she realized what the symbolism meant.

Chris opened her eyes and tried to adjust to the light inside the room. She saw Rosa seated next to Alan, both with their eyes closed, and Alicia was holding her good hand as she slept beside the bed.

She then looked at the familiar mane of hair hiding the face of her sister and wondered how Drew had gotten there so quickly.

When she tried to talk, her voice was weak and her throat was dry. She removed her hand from Alicia’s and touched Alicia’s hair, brushing the short locks back from her face.

Alicia lazily opened her eyes, and Chris smiled at her. It took Alicia a second to react. “You’re awake,” she said in a soft voice. Joy shone from her eyes. She got up and leaned forward, very tenderly kissing Chris’s lips.

After that she gently woke up Drew. When Drew saw Chris had gained consciousness, she screamed at the top of her voice, waking both Rosa and Alan.

Chris and Alicia laughed at Drew’s reaction as she got up and hugged her sister. When Rosa and Alan saw Chris was alert, they also went to her and hugged and kissed her until she felt like she was being smothered with love.

“Someone call for a doctor,” Rosa said, and Alicia went to get one.

A moment later, Chris’s visitors were all ushered out of the room so the doctors could examine her.

Alicia called her mother and told her Chris had wakened up, but it was too late at night to come to the hospital.

They all anxiously waited outside the room until the doctor came with the final verdict. “She’s going to be okay,” he said, and they hugged each other in joy.

“What about her mother?” Alicia said, and they all went silent. “I think Chris needs some time to regain her strength before...”

“I agree,” Alan said. “We can’t tell her yet.” Everyone nodded. “I’ll put the funeral arrangements on hold,” he said, “and ask the doctor to tell everyone not to mention anything.”

When they went back to Chris’s room, they stayed with her for a while but soon she fell asleep again.

* * *

“You should be in school, what are you doing here?” Chris scolded Drew soon after she woke up that morning. She noticed that everyone seemed happy to see her talking.

“I go away for a few months, and you almost get yourself killed. Did you think I wouldn’t show up?” Drew asked lightly but started crying as Chris took her in her arms.

While she was under medication, Chris kept waking up and falling asleep. She didn’t know how long she’d been gone before she came back, but every time she did, everyone was there. They all looked at her as though their own survival depended on hers.

When the medicine finally wore off, she woke up during the night. Her family was still there, asleep in various positions of rest. Chris thought about what had happened. She’d had a memory lapse. Her brain was trying to protect her, but sooner or later, she had to face reality.

She recalled the night she’d confronted her mother and what her father had told her after she’d woken up. The next few days were blank, but she remembered her mother in the dream she’d been trapped in.

She recollected the last words she had said to her mother before she’d left the hotel and driven off, and tears came to her eyes. She kept replaying the dream and the reality, and slowly, she merged them together.

When she realized what it meant, she couldn’t stop crying. The last words she’d said to her mother haunted her.

“Chris?” she heard Drew’s voice and saw everyone had woken up.

They tried to calm her, and she wanted to listen to them, but she was so broken that she couldn’t be fixed. She cried for what felt like hours. She stopped when she realized that everyone else in the room had quit trying to console her and were now crying along with her.

When she was finally drained, she looked at her father, imagining how big a nightmare it must have been for him to see her lying there, helpless, unable to do anything. She imagined that Alicia, Drew, and Rosa must have been feeling the same way.

“Dad?” she said.

Her voice was weak from crying, but she needed to know the truth.

“Yes, honey?” Alan said as he wiped the tears from her face with a tissue.

“Mom is gone, isn’t she?” she asked, and he didn’t have to answer for her to know the truth. The way everyone looked at her was enough. Yet she wanted to hear it. She needed to. “Please tell me.”

Alan didn’t seem like he had the strength to tell her, so she turned her attention to the only person in the room who might have. “Alicia?” Chris looked at her in desperation. “Is she dead?”

Alicia looked at the people in the room as though seeking their approval. When each one of them nodded, giving her the difficult responsibility, she looked back at Chris and said in a voice that was almost inaudible, “Yes.”

Chris closed her eyes, silently blaming herself. If she hadn’t gone to Miranda’s hotel while drunk, if she hadn’t confronted her and then walked out, Miranda would never have taken those pills. She would still be alive.

One careless thought, one careless act, had cost her mother’s life. The woman who had carried her for nine long months and given birth to her, the same woman who had refused to give Alan custody because she didn’t want to lose the only family she had, was dead.

When Chris opened her eyes, she stared at the ceiling of the hospital room. All she wanted was to go home. She wanted to be surrounded by familiar things.

The last words she’d said to her mother would haunt her forever. And why shouldn’t they? Miranda may have taken those pills, she may have shoved them down her throat, but Chris had been the driving force behind it. She was responsible for her mother’s death.

She’d always told herself it was better to talk to Miranda from a distance, to just never have to see her again, but as she lay there, she took back her words.

She had been afraid she might have turned out exactly like her mother, but reality told her she had turned out worse. How could she ever look at herself in the mirror without recalling that last conversation? How could she ever remember a single moment of happiness with her mother when the last moments dominated everything else? How could she ever be herself again?

She wished she could take it all back. She wished she could go back and slap some sense into herself, but she was way past wishing. It was over. Her mother was gone, and nothing she could do would bring her back.

Chapter 19

Alan resumed the funeral arrangements, and Chris began physical therapy to get herself back in shape. She stayed in the hospital for two more days, and when the doctor confirmed that she could go home, she was shocked to find a swarm of reporters waiting for her outside.

Drew and Alicia had warned her about them, but she’d not fully prepared herself. She didn’t care though. She was still too haunted by everything that had happened. The torture of those tragic last few days occupied her mind.

At home, everyone fussed over her, trying to give her the whole world just to make her happy, but inside she felt empty, like the person she had been had died along with her mother.

Alicia called her everyday and came to see her as often as she could. Drew kept her company almost throughout the twenty-four hours of the day, but not even her bright personality could bring Chris back.

The funeral was a small, private affair, which only close friends and family were invited to. Chris was pleased that no reporters showed up.

The ceremony took a couple of hours, and as the coffin descended into the ground with her mother’s body, Chris felt like she was going down with her. She cried again despite how hard she tried to hold it in, and afterward, her family took her home.

* * *

After the funeral, Alicia went home, changed, and returned to the office. It hurt her to see Chris so broken and made her feel worse to know there was nothing she could do to make the situation any easier.

She wondered what she could do to cheer her up and thought of Joey. She didn’t know where to find her, or even how to get in touch with her, but she would try.

She found Andrew’s contact information in the office and got in touch with him. After she informed him who she was, they talked about what had happened, and he told her Joey was in New Zealand shooting a film. He promised to get in touch with her, and Alicia hoped that would make Chris happy.

Everyone they had hired was busy at work; the fashion show they were preparing for was due soon. Alicia didn’t know if Chris was ready to go back to work, but she didn’t know whether they should cancel the show. Chris was the one who handled all those things.

When a man in his mid sixties walked in through the entrance, Alicia wondered if he was lost. He appeared nervous or shy, one of the two.

“Sir, may I help you?” she asked.

He was dressed in black from head to toe, and examining him closely, Alicia thought he appeared familiar. She was pretty sure, though, that she’d never seen him before in her life.

“Are you lost?” she asked him when he failed to respond.

He peered at her in such a peculiar manner that every strand of hair on her skin rose up.

“Alicia?” he said.

The way he looked at her, the way he was dressed, and the way he appeared should have told her who he was, but something within her rejected it.

“I’m Raymond Mathews, your father.”

At first, she failed to react. She was certain she’d heard him wrong. He couldn’t be. She’d given up asking about him, and now he was standing right there, in front of her. Still, she rejected it.

“May I please talk to you in private?” he asked.

She was still at the part where he’d said his name, and her mind had yet to digest the rest of the information in his earlier statement.

“Alicia?” he said, and she snapped out of it.

“This way,” she heard herself say, but it was like some other force from within that she’d never known she possessed was controlling her.

Then it occurred to her. Miranda’s funeral must have been the reason why he’d come back. The Brewster double tragedy had been all over the news.

“Were you at Miranda’s funeral?” she asked, realizing that was why he was dressed in black.

“Sort of. The ceremony was over when I got there,” he said once they were outside. “Can we go somewhere and sit?”

He had abandoned his family while she’d been a child, and the only reason he was back was for the same reason he’d left. Miranda. Maybe he thought while he was around he could see Alicia, maybe offer an apology, or finally take responsibility and do right by her.

The notion upset her, and as she stood in front of him, she recognized she’d never needed anything from him. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can do that,” she said. She didn’t have a single question to ask him. He’d made his decision when he disappeared; now she was making hers.

“Please, it will only take a minute.”

“I don’t know you, I don’t want to know you, and most importantly, I don’t want anything to do with you.” She spun away from him and hurried back to the office.

She felt such a rush of emotion that her whole body was shaking. When Jennifer walked into the office she shared with Chris, Alicia went into her arms. “My father showed up, and I sent him away.”

“I don’t blame you,” Jennifer said. “It’s all right.” She patted Alicia’s back.

When Alicia was composed, she called her mother to inform her about Ray’s unexpected visit and then went to pick Robbie up from Jason.

It had been a rough day. All she wanted to do was go home and sleep. She was surprised when she found Tony at Jason’s. He looked different with a beard all over his face, and he appeared as though he hadn’t slept in days.

Jason went to get Robbie who was already asleep.

Alicia didn’t want anything to do with Tony, and he didn’t look like he had the words to express what he needed to say. Maybe one day she would find it in herself to forgive him, but it was still too soon.

After a few moments of silence, Jason appeared with Robbie in his arms. “I’ll carry him to the car,” he said, and they walked out of his apartment.

“How is everything?” he asked after putting Robbie in the car.

Everything was a broad subject, and she wasn’t in the mood for chitchat. She shook off the question and said, “Everything’s fine.”

When she was about to get in the car, he stopped her. “Tony told me what happened. He didn’t know what he said was going to turn into this whole thing.”

She was pleasantly surprised to see Jason taking a stand for Tony, but what was happening didn’t involve him.

“He should have stayed out of it,” she said.

“He knows that now, but could you give the poor guy a break already?”

Who was going to give Chris a break? Who was going to take away the pain she was going through?

“Do you want to continue seeing Robbie?” she asked.

“Of course I do.”

“Then I suggest you stay out of this. It doesn’t concern you.”

He raised his hands in surrender and took a step back as she got in the car and drove away.

When she got home, she put Robbie in his bed and sank into her own warm sheets. Even though she’d been looking forward to getting some sleep, she lay awake for hours before sleep finally had mercy on her.

The following day, she called Robbie’s school to inform them he would be absent. When he woke up, Alicia said he wouldn’t be going to school and to go back to sleep.

She called Jennifer and let her know she would be late for work. Around eleven, she told Robbie they were going to see Chris.

He was so excited that he took his skateboard and insisted on going to the store to buy a ribbon to wrap around it. Alicia was touched by his sensitivity.

When they got to the mansion, Chris’s family welcomed her as though she were already a part of them. Drew hugged Robbie when she saw him, and Alicia knew he was going to cheer Chris up.

“Is that for Chris?” Drew asked about the skateboard.

“Yes, it’s for her,” Robbie said. “I wanted to give her something she likes, so she can get better.” Drew kissed his little cheeks.

They went to the back of the house towards the pool. Chris, dressed in shorts and a tank top, was lying on one of the sunbathing lounges with her casted arm resting on her stomach.

“Chris?” Robbie took off running towards her.

Chris sat up, laughing as Robbie hugged her.

“Does it hurt?” Robbie gently touched the white cast.

“A little bit.”

“Is that for me?” Chris pointed to the skateboard with the red ribbon wrapped around it.

“Yes, but you can’t ride it yet because you’re hurt,” Robbie said and Chris hugged him again.

He sat on the seat beside her and leaned his back against Chris’s chest. He looked at the pool and said, “You have a big house.”

“Don’t you like it?”

“I do. It’s a lot like my first house.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Sometimes. But I like the apartment better.”

Maggie brought drinks as they talked, and Alicia and Drew joined them.

“When do you plan to go back to school?” Chris asked Drew.

“I was thinking about staying.”

“Staying for how long?” Chris asked, but Drew didn’t answer. “If you’re worried about who is going to take care of me, you don’t have to. Robbie will do that,” Chris said. “Right Robbie?”

“Yeah, I’ll take good care of her,” Robbie said.

Alicia couldn’t help smiling as the two teamed up against Drew.

“I’m going to be okay,” Chris said. She got up and kissed her sister on the forehead. “Alicia, could I talk to you?”

They hadn’t talked in a while so when Chris asked that, Alicia happily obliged.

“Do you want to take a swim, Robbie?” Drew asked and led him towards the pool.

Chris and Alicia walked away. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help you out with work,” Chris said. “I know the fashion show is closing in on us, and this is our big chance to get the exposure that we need, so I wanted to assure you that everything will proceed as planned.”

Alicia was disappointed that Chris wanted to discuss work when there was so much more they could talk about. They walked into the house and went to Chris’s father’s study.

“The line is ready, right? Our employees are competent and reliable?”

“Everything’s fine,” Alicia said.

“Would you like Robbie to come with us to New York?” Chris asked.

“No, I’ll be more comfortable if he stays here with Mom and Jason.”

“How is Ellen?” Chris asked, and Alicia remembered her estranged father’s reappearance. She wondered if he’d gone to see her mother.

“Is something wrong?” Chris asked.

Alicia shook the thoughts away. “No, nothing’s wrong.”

The last thing she needed was to burden Chris with her problems while she was still recuperating. In fact, she wondered whether Chris was ready to go back to work yet.

“I know you’re all worried about me,” Chris said, “and everyone’s cautious and sensitive about what they say around me, but you can’t protect me because you think I’m fragile. I won’t go back into a coma, I won’t get into another accident, and I certainly won’t break down. So if there’s something you’re not telling me, I want you to spill it.”

Alicia said the first thing that crossed her mind. “I saw my father yesterday.”

“Ray?”

“Yeah, he came by the office to see me after the funeral.”

“He was at the funeral?”

Alicia shook her head, getting her thoughts in order.

“What did he want?”

“I didn’t ask him. I didn’t want to know,” she said.

Chris wrapped her good arm around her, and Alicia welcomed the warmth that embraced her.

“What did you say?” Chris asked as she pulled away to look at her.

“I told him I didn’t want anything to do with him.” She wondered now whether she had been a bit too harsh.

“Are you sorry you said that?”

Chris seemed to know her so well that she could read her like a book.

“The only reason he came back was the same reason he left. If he hadn’t heard or read somewhere about what happened to your mother, he never would have shown up.”

Chris took her back in her arms, and Alicia clung to her. The safety and warmth that came with the embrace calmed her.

“Thanks for bringing Robbie to see me,” Chris said and pulled away.

Alicia sensed her emotional withdrawal and felt helpless to stop it. “I thought he’d cheer you up.”

“You always know what’s best for me,” Chris said.

Alicia wished she could get a glimpse into what Chris was thinking or feeling. Maybe then she could help her.

Standing there, watching Chris fail to acknowledge what was going on between them, led her to believe if she dared to reach out, even as a friend, it would be as useless as trying to reach for something in the dark.

“We should go back,” Chris said and walked away.

Alicia stayed behind for a moment, telling herself to be strong because one of them needed to be. Chris was going through a hard time. She was still in pain, so Alicia forced herself to understand.

When she got back to the pool, she found Drew and Robbie swimming and Chris reseated in the lounge.

“Come on you two, join us,” Drew said.

“I didn’t bring a bathing suit,” Alicia said, noticing Robbie had jumped into the pool in his shorts.

“Drew threw me in!” Robbie said as though he noticed her expression.

“I did no such thing!” Drew playfully grabbed Robbie, and Alicia laughed despite herself. She was glad she always carried extra clothes for Robbie for cases such as these.

“Chris will lend you a bathing suit, won’t you, Chris?” Drew asked.

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

“Only if you’ll get in the pool as well,” Alicia told her.

“Okay.”

They went up to her bedroom, and Chris got Alicia a bikini and a towel. She got one for herself and nodded towards the bathroom. “You can change in there, and I’ll change here.”

When she finished changing, she heard a knock on the bathroom door and Alicia’s voice. “Are you decent?”

“I’m fine. Come on out.”

Chris had always known Alicia had a beautiful body, but when she wore nothing but the two-piece bikini to conceal it, Chris thought she was the most gorgeous woman who had ever graced her sight.

“I have to put an air-tight protector over my cast. I’ll meet you down at the pool.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Alicia wrapped a light towel around her waist, donned slippers, and walked out of the room.

As Chris put on the cast protector, she had to remind herself that she needed to break free from the hold Alicia had on her. She was still engulfed by too much sorrow and self-hatred after her mother’s successful suicide attempt to even consider looking at Alicia that way again.

At the hospital, Alicia had said she loved her. Those words had held such deep meaning for her—before her entire world came crumbling down.

She wasn’t the same person. Her mother’s suicide had changed her. She’d never known the power of words until they had killed her mother. She kept thinking about how long Miranda must have been lying there after taking those pills before someone found her.

Both emotionally and psychologically, Chris was a complete mess. How could she subject Alicia to something so cruel? What kind of monster would that make her? And Robbie, that spirited lovely boy, how could Chris bear bringing so much sadness into his perfect little world? She couldn’t.

When she got back downstairs, she joined the others in the pool, and Maggie brought some margaritas. For Robbie, she poured some lemonade in a margarita glass.

Drew teamed up with him and suggested they play a beach ball game against Chris and Alicia. Since Chris’s arm was still hurting, they decided to play catch where she could use one arm to play.

They took a break from the sport half an hour later to drink their margaritas, and Robbie, who was winning the game with Drew, went to ask Chris if she wanted to trade partners and team up with him.

“It won’t be fair for me to team up with my mom or for you to team up with Drew, but it’ll be sort of the same if I team up with you and Drew teams up with Mom,” he explained. Chris knew he was suggesting that because he wanted to give her a chance to win.

She didn’t want to let him down, so she agreed and Robbie explained it to Drew and Alicia, who obliged.

On the second round, with the new changes, Robbie competed against Drew, and Chris and Alicia practically had to sit aside and watch them play.

Robbie won the game for them and to celebrate, they asked Maggie to bring them snacks and more drinks, which they happily indulged in.

Drew and Robbie continued playing in the pool as Chris and Alicia silently sunbathed.

After spending the best part of the morning and the afternoon together, Alicia announced it was time to go.

She got Robbie’s extra pair of shorts, and after he dressed, she went to Chris’s bedroom to change as Drew gave him a tour of the mansion.

Chris walked into the room and found Alicia drying herself with a towel. Their unspoken attraction took charge, but Chris quickly ignored it. “I’m sorry, I thought you were done,” she said.

“It’s okay, you can stay. After all, it is your room.”

Chris walked in and closed the door. She took a dry towel and ran it over herself as Alicia did the same thing. Chris swore to herself that had it been just a few weeks earlier, she would have thrown all caution to the wind, taken Alicia in her arms, and finally made love to her.

Now all she could do was fight the furious hunger eating her up inside at the erotic sight. Alicia caught her gaze, and Chris fought to look away. Watching Alicia run a towel over her gorgeous, wet, and practically naked body was sheer torture. Chris abruptly turned and dashed to the bathroom, picking up her clothes on the way.

She heard Alicia walk out of her room, and she quickly got dressed and went after her. She found her downstairs waiting for Drew and Robbie. She didn’t know what she was going to say, but Alicia stopped her before she could start.

“Please don’t say anything,” Alicia said.

Chris knew what Alicia wanted from her. That she couldn’t give it to her crushed her. “I have to,” she said, feeling at a loss for words.

“If it’s not to say you feel the same way about me that I feel about you, then I’m not sure I want to hear it,” Alicia said. Chris closed her eyes, struggling for words.

Robbie and Drew walked into the room, and Alicia hugged Drew good-bye.

“Bye, Robbie,” Drew said.

“Bye, Drew. Bye, Chris,” Robbie said as he walked out with his mother.

“What was that all about?” Drew asked Chris after they left.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Chris wished she could have said more to Alicia.

“Chris, come on,” Drew said as Chris retreated upstairs.

Drew went after her and pestered her until they got into a fight, and Rosa and Alan had to settle it as they always did.

* * *

After calling Jason on her way to Ellen’s, Alicia drove as Robbie talked about the wonderful time he had that day. She could see that he was in love with the Brewster sisters, and she couldn’t blame him.

After she parked the car, he ran into Ellen’s house and Alicia found him telling her about the day’s events.

Alicia didn’t know what might happen after she’d told Ellen that Ray was back in town, but she was glad to see her mother was okay.

When Robbie went to play outside, they talked and Ellen confirmed that Ray had come to see her. “I don’t know if what I tell you is going to change your mind about having him in your life, but I want you to know that the decision is all yours,” Ellen said.

“What is it?” Alicia asked as she sat down.

“He has lung cancer. He’s dying, Alicia.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Mom. I barely know the man.”

“He told me he saw you yesterday. He said he’s regretful for not having been there for you, but I understand if you want nothing to do with him. I just thought you should know. If you want to get to know him, whatever you decide, I’ll support you.”

“How come you’re not mad at him?” Alicia asked, wondering if she had inherited the forgiving soul.

“I was mad at him for most of my life, and I guess that’s why I never spoke of him. I kept any mention of him from you, but what he did happened a long time ago.”

“So you’re not mad at him anymore?”

Ellen shook her head. “The only thing I feel for him is pity.”

“Do you think the cancer should change the way I feel about him?” Alicia asked.

Ellen walked up to her. “Does it?”

Alicia wasn’t sure. “I feel sorry for him,” she said when she identified the only emotion she felt towards him.

“Would it hurt to give him a chance to get to know you?”

It almost felt like Ellen was advocating for him.

“It shouldn’t have taken him this long to come back,” Alicia said.

Ellen pointed towards Robbie. “What about him? Doesn’t he deserve a chance to get to know at least one of his grandpas?”

The question, as much as Alicia hated to admit it, changed everything.

“Do you think it’s fair to him?” Ellen asked.

“Robbie’s fine. He has Jason in his life now, and he’s happy. I don’t want him to get to know Ray just to lose him.”

“Okay,” Ellen said. Then she changed the subject. “How is Chris? Robbie’s very excited that you two spent the day at the mansion with her and Drew.”

That instantly brought a smile to Alicia’s face. “Chris is fine. She was laughing today. Robbie has a good effect on her.”

“She seems to have a good effect on you, too,” Ellen said.

Alicia looked at her, wondering if she knew. “She’s a wonderful person. It was good to see her looking so happy after everything that’s happened to her.”

“Is that all?”

Alicia’s heart picked up pace. “Mom, is there something you want to ask me?” She wondered how her mother would take the answer.

Chris had once talked to her about rejection. Alicia had thought she could handle it, but she didn’t know if she could if it came from her mother.

“Are you in love with her?” Ellen asked the question straight out, and Alicia’s heart started pounding.

“Would your feelings for me change if I was?” she asked first, just to be sure. Then she realized she couldn’t deny it whether her mother rejected her or not. That was how much she loved Chris.

“My feelings for you will never change,” Ellen said. “You don’t have to answer me. I can see it in your eyes.”

Alicia’s jaw dropped. “You can? And how did you know?”

“You’re my daughter. I raised you, remember?”

“When did you find out?”

“The day you came running to your bedroom, but back then I didn’t know it was Chris. I found out when she was at the hospital.”

When Alicia absorbed her mother’s words, she asked, “Are you sure you’re okay with it? It doesn’t shame you?”

Ellen walked over to her and touched her cheeks. “She makes you happy. Why would I be ashamed of my daughter’s source of happiness?”

Alicia threw her arms around her. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, honey.”

The knock at the door interrupted them, and Ellen went to open it.

“Hello, Ellen,” Jason said and kissed her cheek.

Robbie saw him and went running to him. “Dad!” he said as Jason swung him up into his arms.

“Hey, champ, why don’t you get in the car while I talk to your mom?” He put him down and Robbie went running outside. “How come he didn’t go to school today? Did something happen?” he asked.

“He’s fine. I just wanted to take him to see Chris.”

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s doing well.”

He was about to walk out when he stopped and said, “Oh, by the way, Tony and I are opening up the garage business.”

She smiled at that and said, “That’s great. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” He kissed Ellen on the cheek again and walked out. Robbie yelled from the car, saying good-bye, and Ellen yelled back.

“It’s good to see everything is getting back to order again,” Ellen said.

They spent the evening together, and Alicia told her everything she could about Chris. It felt liberating to voice her feelings for Chris to someone else.

Chapter 20

Immediately after Chris’s arm was healed enough to remove the cast, she’d gotten back to work. They had converted part of the working area into a studio, and she’d hired Ramon Riviera, one of the best photographers in the fashion industry. They had worked on countless projects together, and he was extremely talented.

She needed to occupy her mind so she could avoid that dark part of herself that she withdrew to every time she was alone.

She looked straight at the camera and deceived it with a spontaneous illusion of fierceness as she posed for their company’s new line. “You look ravishing, Chris,” Ramon said.

Now, as he took pictures of the line Alicia had designed, Chris managed to block it all out and relive her glory days.

The fashion show was just a few days away, and everything was set. Chris had taken care of the travel arrangements, and Andrew was in New York taking care of everything else they needed to make the show a success.

Chris had managed to talk a reluctant Drew into going back to school, and she tried very hard to keep a happy face for Alan and Rosa. She couldn’t pretend with Alicia, and because she still couldn’t face her, she kept herself busy.

During the photo shoot, she struggled to concentrate as Alicia watched her. She got through the time by hoping that, one day, everything would be okay again. Though she had no idea how that could possibly happen.

* * *

Chris finished packing her clothes and headed downstairs, where she found Alan and Rosa waiting to wish her luck. She appreciated their good intentions, but she didn’t believe in luck. She believed in Alicia. She had produced some gorgeous designs, and soon the whole world was going to see them.

She was glad she was going away. A break was exactly what she needed. Her misery was like a shadow: it followed her everywhere and she was getting tired of pretending that everything was okay. Being far away from home was going to give her the space she needed to deal with her loss her way.

She exchanged a few pleasantries with Alan and Rosa and hugged them good-bye. The driver her father had assigned took her luggage and put it in the trunk of the car as she got in.

She was picking Alicia up from her apartment. As excited as Alicia was about the fashion show, Chris doubted she was ready to leave Robbie behind.

She got to the apartment half an hour later. Ellen was there with Alicia and Robbie. Chris hadn’t seen much of Ellen after the hospital, but just as she behaved with her family, she extended the same courtesy to Ellen and greeted her warmly.

“Take care of her for me, will you?” Ellen asked Chris, who nodded at the request.

“Mom, you’re acting as though I’ve never traveled before,” Alicia said.

Chris watched them, wishing again that her relationship with her own mother had resembled something close to theirs.

“Robbie, are you going to be okay?” Chris asked.

He didn’t look as worried as Ellen, though he was a bit sad. This was the first time he was going to be apart from his mother, so she understood.

“Will you look after her?” he asked. Chris glanced at Alicia who was looking back at her.

“I promise,” Chris said and hugged him.

“You have nothing to worry about, Ellen,” she told Alicia’s mother as they headed out.

Alicia carried Robbie in her arms until they got downstairs where the car was waiting for them. After saying good-bye to her family, she got in the car and sniffled.

“They’re going to be okay.” Chris touched her hand in comfort.

* * *

On the flight to New York, Alicia watched Chris as she slept. She wondered what had changed after she’d confessed her true feelings for Chris. How happy Chris had been after she’d told her. Then Alan walked into the room, told Chris about her mother’s suicide attempt, and Chris fell into a coma.

When she woke up from her coma, she was a different person. She struggled to keep everyone believing that she was fine, but Alicia knew better. The suicide was traumatizing, and Alicia could understand why Chris was still grieving, but she didn’t know what had so hurtfully influenced the course of their lives.

The Chris she’d known before the suicide was gone. She’d been gone since Miranda’s death. Alicia was afraid that if she tried to reach out, Chris would reject her, and she didn’t know whether she could handle that.

But she missed Chris. She missed her so much. Just watching her as she slept made her want to reach out and touch her. She missed those times when Chris had looked at her and made her feel like she was the only person in the universe.

Changing her line of thought because it hurt too much to think about it, her memories brought her back to Ray. He hadn’t tried to get in touch with her again, but seeing how Chris was suffering because of the loss of her mother, Alicia wondered if she was being too hard on him.

Miranda had been present in all of Chris’s life, while Ray had been absent in all of hers. Despite everything that had happened, Chris had loved her mother. But Alicia barely knew Ray enough to even like him. All she knew was that he had left her while she’d been a child.

Her mother had said that he was dying of lung cancer. Alicia didn’t want it to make a difference, but looking past it, she was curious to know the kind of man he was. Had he been so in love with Miranda that he had sacrificed his family to be with her?

Looking back, she couldn’t remember having heard anything bad said about him. Ellen had made peace with the way things had worked out, but she had never really disclosed any information about the sort of man Ray had been.

Alicia had said she didn’t want to know him, but now she wondered if she’d been too quick to judge. Ray probably didn’t have a lot of time; did she really want him to die without ever having known him?

“What are you thinking about?” she heard Chris ask and found her eyes on her.

Chris had too much on her plate already, and Alicia didn’t want to add to that. Though Chris expressed genuine interest and concern, Alicia wished she’d be more open to her as well.

Chris had shut herself away from everyone, and every time Alicia looked at her, she felt like she was gazing at her through a thick glass wall. She could see her, but she couldn’t get across.

She wished Chris knew how hard it was to love someone so much, to be so close but to still feel like they were worlds apart. She wanted Chris to open up and expose all those wounds that were hurting her; she wanted to know why she had withdrawn into herself so much; but most of all, she just wanted to touch her again.

“Nothing,” she said instead as she switched off her light and turned away.

Chris had said they would be staying in her apartment, but Alicia had booked herself a hotel room. Staying together would certainly make their work easier, but she doubted she would be able to handle it.

The fashion show wasn’t going to take place until the following day, so they had enough time to rest and prepare the last-minute details.

They got to New York several hours later. When they were walking out of the airport with their luggage, Alicia decided to tell Chris that they wouldn’t be staying together.

Before she could start, Chris saw their chauffeur holding a piece of cardboard with their names on it and called him over to handle their luggage.

As they drove out of the airport, Chris got on the phone and started making calls.

When they got to the apartment building, Chris, who was still on the phone, got out of the car as the chauffeur started removing their luggage. Alicia got out as well and stopped him. He looked at her in confusion, and she told him what she’d been unable to tell Chris.

“I’m not staying here.”

He put back her luggage.

Chris hung up the phone, and Alicia wondered when making calls had gotten more important than talking to her.

Feeling slightly hurt, she said, “I wanted to tell you I had booked myself a hotel room, but you were on the phone the whole way here. I have the schedule for tomorrow. After I sign in at the hotel, I’ll check out the location for the fashion show. I’ll see you there.”

She got back in the car. Chris opened the door and said, “I thought we had decided you were going to stay in the apartment.”

“No, you decided that. I never said I was going to stay there.”

“Alicia, come on.”

Alicia took out a piece of paper and wrote down the name of the hotel and her room number. “This is where I’m staying.” She handed Chris the paper, closed the door, and told the chauffeur to drive.

* * *

The large lounge where the fashion show was going to take place was luxurious, and the runway was spectacular. Workers were making last-minute modifications, and designers were preparing their designs and their models.

Chris was getting a rundown of everything from Andrew when Alicia arrived. Chris noted she looked more relaxed now and appeared amazed by the sight that met her eyes.

Alicia joined them, and Chris introduced them to one another. She was surprised to learn that they already knew each other. How? She had no idea and she didn’t ask.

Instead, she showed Alicia the models who were going to walk down the runway wearing her designs. Chris wasn’t sure she was ready to get back up there, but since she was doing it for the company, she knew she had no choice.

They had seven models, plus Chris, and each one of them was going to wear two pieces, walking down the runway twice. Chris was going to wear the first piece to introduce the line and the final piece to introduce Alicia.

They rehearsed for hours, and when Alicia finished making the necessary modifications, she was exhausted. When she was packing her tool kit to leave, Andrew approached her. He wasn’t what she’d expected when Chris had talked about him. He was in his late forties and very business minded, though he seemed to care very much for Chris.

“Did you manage to get in touch with Joey?” she asked.

“Yes, I told her you’d be coming to New York, and she said she’d either show up or call.”

Alicia wasn’t sure whether that was good news or bad news. She guessed, depending on Chris’s reaction, she would find out.

“How is she doing, really?” he asked.

“Honestly?” Alicia wasn’t sure she was in a position to answer that, so she told him the truth. “I don’t know.”

He looked worried for a moment and then said cheerfully, “Well, tomorrow’s your big break. Perhaps it will change everything.”

She smiled at that, hoping the same thing, too. It was late when she got back to her hotel, and she was too eager about the following day to immediately fall asleep.

When she did manage to do so, it was only for a few hours. The show was going to take place in the evening, but Alicia got there early. Chris showed up a little later, and acting very business-like with each other, they managed to put their differences aside and work together.

When people started arriving, Alicia began getting nervous. New York was known for having ruthless fashion critics, and this show could either make her or ruin her. Chris had a lot of confidence in her designs, and even though that helped a bit, it didn’t ease her nervousness. Being in a room full of people who were the best at what they did was intimidating, but she tried not to show it.

Three fashion designers were showcasing their clothing lines. Alicia was scheduled last to showcase hers, and the waiting only added to her anxiety. Plus, she felt extra pressure: everyone was eager to see her designs because of the dress Joey had worn to the premiere of her movie.

When the show began, people took their seats and the whole room went quiet. The lights dimmed, and a spotlight was focused on the runway. After a moment, fast-paced rock music started playing and the first model walked down the runway.

Alicia was overwhelmed by the whole idea of being there. She watched the show from a distance, inwardly praying because she was so nervous. She didn’t notice Chris’s presence until she spoke.

“Hey. Don’t be nervous, okay?” Chris said, but it wasn’t something that could just go away. “We’re going to be great, you’ll see.” Chris’s words of comfort weren’t working. She took a step closer to Alicia and reached for her hands. “You did your part, and that was the hardest. This next part is easy.”

Alicia looked at her, letting the words wash over her. “How’s your arm?” she asked instead of responding to her statement and Chris smiled.

“It’s better.”

“Good,” Alicia said.

They turned their attention back to the runway and watched the models strutting the first designer’s line until his last model walked him down the runway. Then both Chris and Alicia went to prepare.

Their models were all there, and they looked stunning, but Alicia couldn’t stop checking to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be.

The second designer was introduced shortly after the first, and finally, it was their turn. When her name was mentioned, Chris walked out with the first piece from their line.

Alicia could have sworn she fell in love again when Chris worked the runway as though she’d never been away from it.

She posed at the end of the runway, and photographers bathed her with the flash from their cameras as she stole the crowd’s attention. On her way back, she stopped midway, turned and posed again for another round of photographs. Then she returned the rest of the way as the next model walked out.

Alicia stood there like a statue, as a surge of overwhelming emotions overcame her. The love she felt for Chris weakened her, surprising her at its magnitude of depth.

“Alicia?”

At her name, she watched Chris changing into the next outfit and told herself to focus. One after the other, the models changed and went back. Finally, Chris walked down the runway with the last piece from their line.

She commanded the runway and the audience. After posing for pictures, she walked back and stopped midway again, posing for more.

Alicia’s heart was loudly pounding in her chest when Chris came, took her hand, and walked onto the runway with her.

The crowd applauded them as photographers continued taking pictures, and somehow, through all that madness, Alicia found herself smiling.

“Everybody’s talking about you,” Chris said when the show was over. “Come on, we have to do an interview.”

Alicia followed her to where photographers and reporters were waiting. They answered the questions and posed together as a team.

When the interviews were over, the models invited them to an after party, but Alicia was still so overwhelmed she just wanted to sit and embrace the moment for a while.

Afterwards, Chris invited her out to celebrate. “We deserve it. By tomorrow, everyone in the fashion industry will know who you are. I think we should go out and toast to it,” she said.

Chris was so happy by the outcome of events, Alicia didn’t want to let her down by rejecting the request. Excited, she went to get her things and told Chris she’d meet her outside.

Her heart was still pounding, and she wished her mother and Robbie had been there to see the show. She wanted to share the joy and success of that night with the people she loved. But she mostly wanted to be with Chris. After all, she was the reason they were both there.

Feeling like she was walking on clouds, she went outside and saw Chris in Joey’s arms. She forgot everything wonderful that had happened that night. A sharp painful stab went through her heart at the sight of Joey kissing Chris.

When they pulled apart, Alicia saw the joy on Chris’s face and realized Chris had never said, “I love you,” to her because she was in love with someone else. She was in love with Joey. And Joey had to be in love with her to walk off the set of a high-budget movie, fly across the sea, and come to see Chris on one of the biggest nights of her life.

Alicia walked away, carrying a deeply bruised heart in the palm of her hand. Down the road, she got a taxi and went to her hotel. She was supposed to be celebrating, but instead she was sunk in despair. When she got to the hotel, a man was waiting for her in the lobby.

“My name is James Calloway,” he introduced himself.

She recognized him. He worked for one of the most successful fashion labels in the industry.

“Your designs stole the show,” he said and went on to tell her that his company was recruiting young, ambitious, talented, and creative fashion designers like herself. She was so good, he was offering her a job as one of the creative forces behind the fashion label he represented. She was shocked and flattered but had no idea what to say.

“Here’s my card. Think about it and let me know when you make up your mind,” he said after he’d quoted the benefits that came with the job.

It was a wonderful offer, and had it been made several years back, she would have taken it without a second thought, but at that moment, she couldn’t even consider it.

She went to her hotel room and ordered room service. Resigned to celebrating alone, she ordered champagne and called her family back home to tell them how wonderful the show had been.

After that, she got in the bathtub and tried to relax as the scene she’d witnessed of Chris and Joey replayed itself in her mind.

She recalled when Joey had been in Cresswell Falls and remembered when she’d walked in on Joey and Chris in the office. She’d been so embarrassed that she’d run out of the building. But she remembered the sensation that had gone through her. It resembled the same sensation that had traveled through her tonight, although the impact of this one was more powerful and much deeper.

She wished she could take her words of love back now. Chris must have thought the worst of her. This whole time she’d been with Joey. But Alicia’s being with Chris had felt so good that she’d completely forgotten about Joey.

Alicia couldn’t believe she’d hoped that one day soon they would be together. How crazy she was for falling in love with a woman who was in love with someone else. A woman, for crying out loud. What had she been thinking?

The soft knock, accompanied by an announcement of room service, had her getting out of the bathtub. She put on a robe and went to open the door.

After the room service man brought in the trolley with the dinner and the bottle of champagne, he pulled the cork, poured her a glass, and left.

After she ate, she returned to the bathtub since it was so relaxing. She guessed Chris and Joey had gone out to celebrate. Well, Chris deserved the break after everything she’d been through.

As she sipped on her champagne, a deep sadness overcame her. She was in New York, alone, on one of the biggest nights of her life, and she was sipping champagne in the bathtub of a hotel room. How sad and pathetic.

She submerged herself in the warm water and thought of Robbie, who was the only happy spot in her life.

Half a minute later, she got out of the tub and heard another knock on the door. Thinking that room service had forgotten something, she wiped her face on a towel, put on the bathrobe, and went to open the door.

“You stood me up,” Chris said and Alicia’s heart stopped.

She was the last person Alicia had expected to find on the opposite side of her door.

“Are you going to let me in?” she asked and Alicia wondered if Joey was behind her or something.

She stood aside, and after Chris came in, Alicia saw she was alone.

Chris strolled over to the trolley and took the other wineglass. “You started the celebration without me,” she said.

Wasn’t Chris supposed to be somewhere partying with Joey, the woman she loved? What was she doing here? The questions started, and Alicia watched as Chris poured herself some champagne. After taking a sip, Chris looked back at her.

Alicia wanted to mouth her questions, but all she did was stare at Chris as the words tumbled around in her mind. When she realized she was holding her breath, she released it and tore her gaze away.

She knew what she had seen, but it was becoming increasingly harder to know what to think when she continued to feel Chris’s gaze on her even after she’d looked away.

Alicia wished Chris would stop watching her so intently. Then, as though her wish had been granted, Chris placed the wineglass back on the trolley and moved towards her.

Alicia closed her eyes, not sure what to expect. Chris put her hand over Alicia’s on the doorknob, where it had remained since she let Chris in.

“Chris,” she whispered. Did Chris want to open the door and walk out?

She opened her eyes and inhaled deeply when Chris moved closer to her and turned the lock on the knob. Alicia didn’t know what to say. When Chris touched her chin, forcing their eyes to meet, she understood she didn’t need words.

Chris leaned closer still, taunting her with her presence. Alicia didn’t have the strength to push her away. Her heart wouldn’t let her.

When Chris’s lips finally met hers, Alicia melted in her arms. Chris pushed her back against the door, deepening the kiss as her hands moved over the belt of the robe and undid the knot.

She pulled it apart and then slowly broke the kiss. Alicia was so vulnerable that she feared Chris would stop and walk out, but the moment she found Chris hungrily staring at her body as though it were a feast, she knew there was no walking away this time.

Chris kissed her again, unleashing a demanding desire as her hands moved over the naked curves of her body. Alicia felt like she was losing her mind. Nothing had ever felt so wonderful.

Suddenly, she didn’t care why Chris was here or why she wasn’t with Joey. The only thing she wanted now was to feel, and no one knew how to make that happen better than Chris.

Engulfed by her body’s desire as Chris pressed her harder against the door, Alicia started undressing her.

She unzipped Chris’s dress and eased it off her shoulders. As Chris walked out of it, she pulled Alicia towards the bed. They removed their last pieces of clothing and looked at each other as though neither one had ever seen anything so exquisite.

When they got into bed, Chris slowly and passionately kissed her, delaying the untamable urgency of desire within Alicia.

She felt Chris’s soft voice fan her cheek. “I want you so bad,” Chris whispered, “but I promised myself that our first time would be slow.”

She began an intimate and erotic exploration down her neck that Alicia knew she would never forget. Her entire body was in such a deep state of arousal, she feared she would reach climax before Chris fully introduced her to this magical world she’d never experienced.

Chris kissed her throat, perfectly positioning her own body against Alicia’s. She touched with her hands before she possessed with her kisses. She ran her fingers over Alicia’s chest and closely followed the trail with her lips, making sensations Alicia had never known take savage hold of her.

She touched Alicia’s nipples with her fingertips. Opening her hand, she slowly and gently ran her palm over the soft flesh, which hardened at her touch.

Alicia arched her body, and Chris cupped her breasts with both her hands before she started loving them with her lips. She planted a row of kisses down Alicia’s ribcage, softly running her tongue over her stomach until Alicia’s body begged for release.

With the outside world forgotten, Alicia’s body danced along to Chris’s rhythm. Amazing exhilaration taunted her, traveling to that one sensitive spot and burning down every wall she’d ever put up.  

She felt like her body had kept secrets from her. It had never reacted this way to anyone else. She had spent years married to Jason, and not once in their lovemaking had she ever felt so sexually alive.

Maybe it was the tenderness in Chris, or that thing she did with her lips, or the way she touched her, leaving a trail of heat behind. Alicia didn’t know. She couldn’t really think with Chris’s hands caressing the curve of her waist, or with her lips kissing a trail down her hip and then repeating the same mind-blowing motion.

Chris was so detailed and attentive. Even though Chris failed to say the words, Alicia felt loved in the way she was with her. This wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t something random. This was both their lives forming a union.

Chris moved lower, and without stopping or even hesitating, she parted Alicia’s legs and placed a kiss over the short dark curls that paved the way to that mysterious spot of sexual pleasure.

Alicia moaned at her touch, and pressure built up in her body. When Chris slid her tongue inside her, Alicia started writhing in unbelievable excitement. As Chris made love to her, the love Alicia felt for her grew, and rather than scare her, it made her whole again.

She had never known multiple orgasms until Chris made love to her. In fact, she wondered if she’d ever had an orgasm at all. Her body was so alert and so awake in a merging of need and satisfaction, it left her baffled.

As she lay there in Chris’s arms, she knew there was no other place she’d rather be. This was the perfect way to end a perfect night. With that thought, and falling deeper and deeper in love with Chris, she went to sleep.

Chris calmly studied Alicia as she slept. They were lying facing each other, and Chris found it hard to keep her hands to herself.

Alicia had stood at the door with questions in her eyes, unaware of how gorgeous she was. Unaware of the effect just looking at her—with her short hair dripping droplets of water down her neck to her throat where the robe exposed some wet flesh—had on Chris.

On her way to the hotel, all she’d thought about was how she couldn’t let Alicia spend that great night alone. She’d gone there with the intention of taking her out to celebrate as they had discussed but had gotten there to find Alicia wearing nothing but a robe.

She had thought she could be strong. But to just stand there and do nothing when her body craved Alicia with such desperate longing proved unbearable.

As droplets of water fell down Alicia’s neck, creating a wet line on its way under the robe that concealed the naked body underneath, Chris’s loins burned with desire.

She had inwardly writhed in agony, feeling like it had been forever since she’d been that close to Alicia. Suddenly, nothing had mattered anymore.

Alicia had to be the most beautiful woman she had ever met, and that beauty had found a way deep inside of Chris. She had believed a part of her had died, but kissing Alicia again, just kissing her, had made her feel alive again.

Her heart had started beating, she had started breathing, her body had started yearning, and every other bit of her had come awake as though shaken out of an endless sleep.

As she made love to Alicia, she felt like she had entered a dream she had wanted for so long but had never gotten close enough to attain.

She had envied those droplets of water for getting to see and feel the thrill of Alicia’s flesh before she had. Alicia’s skin was like fine silk, soft with perfect curves, flawless like nothing Chris had ever seen or touched before.

She had touched and kissed until she’d been certain that the image was forever engraved in her memory.

Now, as she lay there, she knew without a doubt that her heart no longer belonged to her. It belonged to the woman sleeping next to her. She didn’t regret making love to Alicia. In fact, she would have loved spending the rest of her life doing it.

The only problem was, the part of her that had been silent all through the night, the part of her that was afraid to share itself with the rest of the world, came awake, and with it, a stirring sensation that left Chris miserable because of the choice she was being forced to once again make.

Chapter 21

Alicia’s body was taking the sensations they had clung to the previous night and recreating them into a dream. It felt so real. Suddenly, she moaned and woke up. It wasn’t a dream.

Chris was making love to her again, and every strand of hair on her body was alert with need. Her muscles tightly contracted and then burst into expansion as another orgasm claimed her.

Chris laid kisses over her stomach as she moved back up and smiled at Alicia before she captured her lips in a long, lingering kiss that left her breathless.

“Good morning,” Chris said, and Alicia wondered whether this was the part where she got her happy ending.

“Good morning.”

She hadn’t slept so well in ages, and her body was still clinging to the aftershocks of the lovemaking. When her stomach loudly growled, Chris giggled and said, “I’ll order room service.”

She stretched out on top of Alicia and reached for the phone. She looked at James Calloway’s business card on the table, and then she spoke on the phone and ordered breakfast.

She got up, put on Alicia’s robe, and went to the bathroom. After staying in bed for a while longer, Alicia sat up, pulled the satin sheet around her body, and got out of bed.

She stepped on Chris’s clothes on the floor and leaned forward to pick them up. A plane ticket to New Zealand fell out. She looked at it as a tremor of fear overcame her.

A knock on the door startled her, and realizing it was room service, she let the man in. After he left, she closed the door just as Chris came out of the bathroom.

“You’re a beautiful woman, you know that?” Chris took her back in her arms.

Alicia slightly relaxed and said, “Surely not as beautiful as some of the women you’ve been with.”

Chris laughed and said, “Of all the people I’ve been with, you top the list.”

Touched by the compliment, Alicia wrapped her arms around Chris’s neck and confidently kissed her. Chris clasped her arms around Alicia’s waist, making her yearn for more.

Before she knew it, they were back in bed and Chris was making love to her again. This time, Chris was not as controlled or as slow as she had been the previous night. She ravished with a hunger that seemed unquenchable.

Alicia loved it. She loved how much Chris wanted her and how she unrestrainedly expressed herself.

After they were sated, Chris pulled the trolley over to the bedside and they had breakfast. What little talking they did was about the show.

When they were done with breakfast, Chris dressed and went out to get the magazines and papers that talked about the fashion show. When she got back, they read the reviews one by one.

Alicia Mathews was the name on every fashion reporter’s lips. She received more favorable reviews than the other designers, and that was more exposure than they had both hoped for.

They kept reading through the articles written about the event. Chris went unusually quiet when she came across one that talked about her tragedy and her fierce comeback to the fashion industry.

The article was brief, but Alicia could see the reminder hurt. “Chris?” she said softly, taking the article away from her. “What happened that night?”

The question seemed to surprise Chris. Alicia saw her withdrawing into herself, and this time she wasn’t going to sit there and let it happen. She needed to know why that night had such an impact on Chris.

“You know what happened,” Chris said as she straightened up.

“Do I? Whatever it is, we can work on it together,” she said in an attempt to reach out.

This time she didn’t care if she’d be rejected or hurt in the process. All she wanted to do was help Chris.

“No, we can’t.” Chris got off the bed.

Alicia stood up and covered her nudity with the satin sheet as she walked over to Chris. “I’m right here, and I’ve given you time. I’ve waited, but you won’t open up to me. I need to know, Chris.” She wrapped her arms around Chris’s waist. “What changed you?” she asked when Chris didn’t talk.

After a moment, Chris pulled away from her. “I was with her the night she committed suicide.”

The confession shocked Alicia.

“After I left your place, I went home and got drunk. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Tony had said about her. It got me so angry that I went to confront her. I unburied all those ugly memories and forced her to listen to my pain. I didn’t give her a chance.” Chris’s voice shook. “She didn’t just decide to swallow those pills, Alicia. She did it because of me. I killed her.”

Alicia placed her hand over her mouth. Chris had gone to see her mother during the night of her suicide. That was why she was in such turmoil. No one understood because no one knew. Chris was fighting with herself, taking the blame for everything because she believed the confrontation had caused the suicide.

“This whole time I was happy she and I were so far apart,” Chris said. “I was happy I never saw her. But now I wish I could see her one more time. I wish I could take back my words.” Chris broke down into tears, and Alicia took her in her arms.

Alicia didn’t know if what she wanted to say was going to make the situation any better, but she wanted Chris to know it didn’t change the way she felt about her.

“Chris, I wish you would have told me. I could have done better at trying to be there for you.”

Chris pulled away and said as she wiped away her tears, “I didn’t want you to be there for me. I’m so terribly ashamed of myself, how can you not be ashamed of me?”

“Because,” Alicia said. She’d never been so desperate to reach anyone before. “Because I love you, Chris, and I don’t want to do anything else but love you.”

Chris turned her back to her. “I don’t want you to love me. I can’t be with you. Look at me.” She turned to face Alicia again. “I’m so unbearably broken, I can’t be fixed. I caused my mother’s suicide, for God’s sake, and it haunts me everyday, all the time. I’ve got nothing but grief to offer you, and as much as I want this, I can’t be selfish with you.”

It broke her heart to hear Chris’s anguish. “Chris, please don’t say that. I love you. I accept everything you are.”

“But I don’t even know who I am anymore. How can you say you love me?”

“Because I know who you are.”

Chris shook her head.

“You didn’t kill your mother. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t put those pills in her hands, and you didn’t force them down her throat. She did that all on her own. You’re hurting right now, and it’s okay, but you can’t keep blaming yourself.”

“There’s no one else to blame,” Chris said. “I’m not the person you fell in love with, Alicia.”

“Yes, you are. I know you are. You were here with me last night when you made me feel all those amazing things that no one else has ever been able to, and you’re here right now. It’s breaking my heart to see you like this.”

“I’m sorry, Alicia, but I can’t stay.” Chris reached for her clothes.

The plane ticket fell out, and Alicia looked at it. She knew Joey had given it to Chris. It tore Alicia apart to dare imagine that Chris was rejecting her because she loved another woman.

“Don’t you care about how I feel?” Alicia asked, holding back the tears.

“It’s precisely because I do that I have to leave you. Alicia, do you have any idea what it would do to you or to Robbie if anyone found out that I was with my mother right before she killed herself? Do you know what it would do to you to be with a person who is constantly haunted by something like that? It would tear your family apart. It would destroy Robbie, and I couldn’t live with myself if I sat back and let that happen.”

Chris took a step closer. “Maybe you’re right, maybe that part of me is still here and it probably always will be because of you. Right now, all I know is that I’m not strong enough for this.”

She stepped back, and Alicia acknowledged she was fighting a losing battle. There was nothing she could say, nothing she could do, that would change Chris’s already made-up mind.

“I saw you with Joey last night,” Alicia said.

“Is that why you didn’t wait for me?”

Alicia nodded. “I saw how happy you were when you were with her, and I understand now that I can’t give you what she does.”

She waited for Chris to tell her she had it wrong and was shattered when she said, “Joey told me you’d gotten Andrew to get in touch with her for me. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Alicia turned away, holding in the tears.

“Are you going to take James Calloway’s job offer?” she heard Chris ask, and she was so upset that she found herself nodding. If they couldn’t be together, then she would never be able to continue working with her. It was over.

“Good-bye Chris,” she said.

“Alicia,” Chris said, and Alicia wondered what she could possibly say at that point.

“If you’re not going to say good-bye,” Alicia said, “then don’t say anything at all. Just go.” Alicia ran to the bathroom and left Chris standing there alone.

Chris felt like she’d just run a dagger through her own heart. She had come so far with Alicia. How could things end this way between them? She leaned against the bathroom door, and tears came rushing out like a drenching storm.

She was so tempted to break down that door and tell Alicia that she loved her, too, but how could she do that and bear hurting her?

She got dressed and left the hotel, berating herself for the damage she had caused. When she got back to the apartment, she found Joey there waiting for her.

Joey took her in her arms, and she broke down again. The depth of her pain was so intense that she felt like she was drowning in it.

“Will you come to New Zealand with me?” Joey asked when she’d calmed down a little. Chris nodded.

“The flight leaves tomorrow morning. Don’t worry, everything’s going to be okay. I’ll take good care of you,” Joey said.

Chris didn’t care as long as she was as far away from there as possible.

* * *

“Honey, are you ever going to tell me what happened in New York?” Ellen asked Alicia.

“I want to see Ray. Is he still here? Can you get in touch with him? I never got to ask him where he would be staying.” Alicia saw a puzzled look cross her face.

“You’re okay with it, right?” she asked, just in case her mother had changed her mind.

Ellen nodded and said, “If it’s what you want, then I’m okay with it.”

“Good.”

Alicia had been home for a week and not even work could keep her from thinking about Chris and their last conversation. The wound was still too fresh to expose, and she couldn’t talk about it. Ellen tried to get her to open up, but every time Alicia remembered that Chris had chosen Joey over her, something inside of her broke.

It was strange. She thought Jason had broken her heart after she found him cheating, but she didn’t know what to call what she was going through with Chris. The anguish felt worse than a broken heart. It went so much deeper and hurt so much more.

Chris hadn’t come back to Cresswell Falls. Alicia assumed she had taken the trip to New Zealand. She found it hard to accept that Joey gave Chris something she would never be able to. Harder still to think of Chris loving someone else with that incredible passion she possessed.

Alicia kept herself busy and said very little. She’d gotten calls from several leading clothing stores owners who offered her distribution of her clothes. She had decided to go with one that offered to showcase her clothes in New York, London, and Paris. In terms of business, everything was off to a good start.

* * *

“Alicia, can I talk to you?” Jennifer said one afternoon and Alicia nodded. They went to her office, and Jennifer said, “I’ve always prided myself in being your friend, but over the years, I never did a very good job of it.”

Alicia wondered if she was apologizing.

“The thing is, you had everything I ever wanted. Well, not Jason…” She stopped and then resumed, “When I saw how you were with Chris, how quickly your friendship developed, and how much you meant to each other, that’s when I realized I had never been a good friend to you. The truth is, I was always jealous of you, but you’ve always been kind to me and I want to say I’m sorry if I’ve ever said anything to hurt you. I’m sorry for ever being jealous of you.”

Alicia walked over to her and hugged her. “Thank you. I forgive you, Jenny.”

She got back to work, and that evening when she was tucking Robbie in, she thought about how soon his birthday was coming up.

“Do you want a party?” she asked.

“Yes! And I want everybody to be there. You, Dad, Grandma, Chris, Tony, Drew, Aunt Jenny, and all of my friends from school,” he said, and she wondered how she was going to make that possible.

“Honey, you know Drew is in school and Chris left town,” she reminded him, and a sad look came over his face. “What do you want me to get you?” she asked, hoping talking about presents would cheer him up.

“I want Chris,” he said, and her heart expanded in her chest. “Mommy, you were always happy when she was here. Since you came back, you’ve been sad, and I want her to come back for you.”

Alicia bit into her lower lip, trying to keep her heart from breaking. She ran her fingers through Robbie’s hair. Was she so in love that even her seven-year-old son could see it?

“Baby, I can’t bring her back. She left because she didn’t want to be here.”

“Doesn’t she like us anymore?”

If there was one thing Alicia was certain of, it was that Chris had loved Robbie. “She loves you. It’s just adult stuff that you wouldn’t understand,” she said as she kissed him good night.

* * *

The only reason Alicia was going to meet with her father was because she didn’t want to live to regret never having given him a chance. She didn’t want to go through the same thing Chris was going through.

When she entered the restaurant, she saw Raymond seated there waiting for her. She took a calming breath and walked over to him. When he saw her, he got to his feet and pulled out a chair for her. She sat down, and before she had a moment to think, a waiter came to their table. She ordered a cocktail, and after Ray had made his order, the waiter left them alone.

“Thank you for meeting me,” he told her.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier,” she said.

“I ambushed you, so I understand. I should have called first to tell you I was around.”

Since they were there to talk and get to know each other, she asked, “Why did you leave? Were you so much in love with Miranda that you gave up your family to be with her?”

She understood love. It still weakened her to think of Chris. It weakened her to just talk about her, but she doubted she could ever give Robbie up as a sacrifice and she doubted Chris would ever ask her to.

“I did love her. She made me feel alive, but I know I made a mistake going after her. I was too much of a coward to come back. I knew Ellen and Alan would never forgive me.”

Alicia didn’t know whether to feel sorry for him or be mad at him.

“I’m sorry, Alicia. I didn’t come back expecting to get a second chance with you. I didn’t come back to guilt you into forgiving me because I’m dying. I just wanted to see you again. Right now, I’ve had more than that and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me.”

The waiter brought their orders and left.

“You have a grandson,” she said, wanting to relate to him. If he was dying, she didn’t want him to die thinking she’d rejected him. She didn’t want him to die alone.

“Robbie,” he said. “Your mother told me.”

“His birthday’s coming up soon. I think he’d like it if you came to his party.”

Robbie didn’t know about him, but Ellen had been right. It wasn’t fair for him to grow up never having known either one of his grandfathers.

“Have you told him about me?” he asked.

“No, but I will.”

“I don’t deserve that.”

“I know, but Mom raised me to be a forgiving person,” she said.

They spent the next hour talking about Robbie, and when Ray asked Alicia about her business, she found herself opening up as though the connection between them had just been reawakened.

He told her about what had happened after he had followed Miranda to New York. She had quickly tired of him and moved on to someone else. Alicia felt sorry for him. It was obvious that he still loved her even though she was gone.

She asked if Miranda’s funeral was the real reason why he’d come back, and he answered her by saying that was part of it, but seeing his family again had played a bigger role for his return.

When Alicia left and went home, she felt a bit more at peace and planned to tell Robbie about him. Ellen applauded her for putting her pride aside and giving him a chance. Alicia couldn’t help wishing that one day she would become half the woman her mother was.

“Jason, I need to talk to you,” she said when he dropped Robbie off.

“About the party? I think it’s a great idea.”

“No, it’s not about the party. It’s about my father.”

His expression grew serious. “Your father?”                                  

“Yes. He came back to Cresswell Falls awhile ago, and I want Robbie to meet him.”

“Did you make up with him?”

“Yes.” Even though there was a lot she and her father needed to work on to rebuild their relationship, what she had at that moment was all she needed.

“I think Robbie will like that,” he said.

“He’s dying, Jason.” It saddened her that their time together was so limited.

Jason took her in his arms. “How sick is he?” he asked. She told him about the lung cancer and how it had spread to Ray’s vital organs.

“I’m so sorry, Alicia.”

After a while, she pulled back from his arms and said, “I wanted you to know. I thought Robbie deserved a chance to know his grandfather.”

“Of course.”

Since Jason’s role in Robbie’s life was so active, she thought it was important to include him in her decisions. “About the party, will you take care of it?” she asked.

He quickly nodded. “Will it be okay with you if Tony comes to it? You know he’s a big part of Robbie’s life.”

“Yes, it’s okay,” she said. Jason hugged her again and left.

* * *

Robbie’s birthday was on a Friday, just two days away, but they pushed the party to the weekend. Since Jason agreed to take care of everything, all Alicia needed to focus on was telling Robbie he had a grandfather.

The following day, she sat him down after Jason brought him home and explained everything to him. When he got so excited to hear he had a grandfather, she couldn’t find the words to tell Robbie he was sick.

“Is he going to be at the party?” he asked, and she laughed softly as she nodded.

Chapter 22

“Happy birthday, Robbie,” Alicia said on Saturday when he woke her up by jumping up and down on her bed. She was pleased to see how happy and excited he was.

“Come give me a hug.”

He stopped and hugged her.

“Did your dad invite all your friends?” she asked.

“Yes, and they’re all going to bring me presents.”

“That’s great. Will your dad’s apartment have enough room for all of us?”

He shook his head. “We’re not having the party at his house.”

“We’re not?” Alicia sat up. She had assumed the party would be at Jason’s.

“He said we could have it anywhere I wanted, and I told him I wanted it to be at Chris and Drew’s house.”

Perplexed, Alicia wondered why no one had passed that bit of information on to her.

“Everybody’s going to be there. We’ll swim, have car races, skateboard, and play baseball.”

His joy vibrated through her, but she felt nervous. She reminded herself that Chris wasn’t around, so it wasn’t like she was going to run into her.

Then she remembered. Ellen had probably already given Ray the details regarding the party’s location. With the way things had ended between Alan and Ray, she wasn’t sure if it was going to be a good idea for Ray to go to Alan’s house.

“Is Grandpa still going to come?” Robbie asked as he started jumping up and down on her bed again.

“Yes, honey, he’ll be there,” she said, with a feeling of trepidation. She had no idea how that day was going to turn out.

“Come on, let’s go have breakfast and get you ready for your big day.” She got out of bed, and Robbie jumped on her back.

She gave him a piggyback ride to the kitchen, and after he sat down at the table, she fixed him a bowl of his favorite cereal.

“How come nobody told me the party was going to be at the mansion?” She sat down and sipped on a glass of milk she’d poured for herself.

“Because you’ve been busy, and Dad didn’t want to bother you. He said you told him to take care of it.”

She had, but when she’d said it she hadn’t thought he would plan to throw the party at Chris’s house.

“Is Chris going to be there?” he asked her, and she recalled what he’d requested as his birthday present.

“I don’t think so, honey,” she said, relieved by that part. “The whole town isn’t going to be there.”

“Dad gave my friends invitation cards,” Robbie said. She hoped the party wouldn’t cause the Brewsters too much trouble.

“How does it feel to be fifty?” she teased.

He stood up on his chair and yelled, “Eight!”

“Fifty-eight?”

“Oooh. Can I drive?”

She laughed at his quick wit. “No, Grandpa.”

“But people who are fifty-eight are allowed to drive,” he argued, using her words against her.

“Yes they are, but only if they have a driver’s license.”

“It’s my birthday, I get to do everything I want.”

“Not everything, honey. Come on, go take a shower or you’ll be late for your own party.”

He whooped and ran to get ready. Alicia chuckled as she went to her own bathroom to take a shower and prepare for the big day ahead.

* * *

Alicia drove by her mother’s house to pick Ellen up. On the way to the Brewster mansion, she asked her if she’d known the party would be there.

“Didn’t you? I thought it was your idea,” Ellen said.

“It was my idea,” Robbie yelled from the backseat.

“Oh,” Ellen said.

Alicia expressed her concern about Ray and Alan. “They’re both adults,” Ellen said. “For this particular day, they will put their differences aside.”

Alicia hoped her mother was right.

When they got to the mansion, they found Jason and Tony had already arrived to put the finishing touches on the decorations.

“Wow! Jason really outdid himself,” Ellen said.

“Yeah,” Alicia said breathlessly, wondering where she’d been when all of it had been taking place.

Balloons cascaded in the air from the gate, to the house, and around part of the pool. Decorations spelling Robbie’s name and saying “Happy Birthday” hung from the entrance to the mansion.

Everything was so beautifully placed and extravagantly polished that Alicia was shocked at how far Jason had gone to make Robbie’s birthday unforgettable.

There were race cars for the kids, and part of the huge playground had been converted into a racetrack.

Robbie ran to his father and Tony as Alicia and Ellen walked over to them.

“This is beautiful, Jason,” Alicia said.

“It’s not too much?” he asked as Robbie went to hug Tony.

“It is, but it’s still beautiful,” she told him as he gave her a hug.

He kissed Ellen’s cheek and welcomed her. “I had a little help.”

Alicia wondered from whom, having guessed he couldn’t possibly be the only one behind everything that had gone into planning and organizing the event.

“I’ll go say hello to Alan and Rosa,” Ellen said as she sauntered away.

Alicia stepped over to Tony who was playing with Robbie. She hadn’t completely forgiven him, but for that one day, she could look past her bitterness towards him for Robbie’s sake.

“Hi, Tony.”

He smiled at her. “Hi, Alicia.”

“Thanks for doing this for Robbie,” she said.

She asked him where the presents were supposed to be placed, and he escorted her to the decorated table. When she added her present, she saw several large wrapped ones and wondered if they were from Alan and Rosa.

“I’ll go say hi to the family,” she said and went to the house.

Alan, Rosa, and Ellen were casually talking when she walked in. She hugged Alan and Rosa and expressed her gratitude for allowing Robbie to have the party at their house. The Brewsters graciously played down their role in it.

After that, Alicia went to help Maggie in the kitchen as the other workers started setting up the food outside on the table for the guests, who would soon be arriving. She was touched that the Brewsters had gone to so much trouble to give Robbie a memorable birthday; she wished she had contributed to it.

“Have you seen the cake?” she head a familiar voice say and whirled to find Drew standing behind her.

“Oh my God! What are you doing here?” She threw her arms around her.

“What? Did you think we were going to miss this?”

“We?” Before Drew could answer, Chris walked into the room.

Alicia’s heart skipped a beat. Flashbacks of their last conversation replayed in her mind.

“Hello, Alicia,” Chris said.

Forcing those memories away, Alicia realized that when Jason said he’d had a little help, he was referring to the Brewster sisters.

Momentarily unable to speak, she looked at Chris, and noticed her long locks of gorgeous hair were shorter and now falling down her shoulders in curls. Her crystal-gray eyes sparkled with life, and Alicia thought she’d never seen her looking so serenely stunning.

Apparently Joey had managed to take away all that grief that had been tormenting her. Even though Alicia tried to steady her voice, it shook when she spoke.

“Hi.” A wave of unwelcome emotions surged to the surface, and her hands trembled.

“Tell me what you think of the cake,” Drew said.

Alicia tore her gaze away from Chris and went to look at the cake. “It’s huge,” she said, trying to ignore the aftershocks that paraded through her. “Robbie will love it,” she added as she hugged Drew again.

“As much as I’d love to take the credit for it,” Drew said, “I have to tell you it was Chris who had it made with all the sporty artwork on top.”

“I would have told the bakery to add something to do with fashion, but I didn’t want to embarrass Robbie,” Chris said. In spite of what she was feeling, Alicia giggled at the inside joke that only she and Chris seemed to understand.

“Okay,” Drew said, and the two turned their attention to her. “I’m going to say hello to the birthday boy.” She gave a little wave and walked out.

Alicia, hoping Maggie was still in the room, turned to search for her. But they were alone. “I’m sorry. If I had known you’d be here...”

“You wouldn’t have shown up,” Chris said, finishing the sentence for her.

“I didn’t know Jason was throwing Robbie’s party at your house until this morning.”

Chris took a step closer to her. “How come Drew got a hug and I didn’t?”

Alicia thought she was kidding. Until ten minutes ago, she had thought they were on two different continents. “Because it’s not weird with Drew.” If she hugged Chris, the fact that she was there would become too real for her to handle. Just seeing her and being that close to her again felt like it was already too much.

“I’m going to help them set up,” she said as she walked away. She felt like running instead.

At least Robbie was getting his birthday present. She noticed that guests had started arriving. Robbie was playing with the kids, and as for the parents, Alicia wasn’t surprised to see them looking at the mansion in amazement. The Brewster mansion was such a private home, very few people had ever been on the grounds.

“Are you having fun yet?” Drew asked as she handed her a plastic cup of punch. “Because if you’re not, I could spike that for you.”

Alicia laughed. Drew was always fun. “When did you get here?” She was curious to know how long the sisters had been in town.

“A couple of days ago. The last time I saw Robbie, he told me about his birthday and made me promise I’d be here. When Jason called my dad and asked if this could be the venue for the party, Chris and I volunteered to help.”

“That was very kind of you.”

“You didn’t know about it, did you?”

“I had no clue. I thought it would be at Jason’s.”

“Robbie is a smart young man.”

“Did he know you were here?” Alicia asked.

Drew shook her head. “Not until a few minutes ago. Take a look at that.”

Alicia followed Drew’s gaze.

Chris was talking to Robbie, and he seemed so happy that Alicia’s heart ached. After a moment, Robbie wrapped his arms around Chris. Then he took her hand and led her to where Alicia was standing with Drew.

“Mommy, you didn’t tell me Chris was here,” Robbie said. He looked up at Chris and tugged her hand. “I told Mommy I wanted you to be my present. And you’re here!”

“That is so sweet.” Drew blew him a kiss.

“Yeah, it is,” Chris said.

“Robbie, why don’t you go play water guns with your friends?” Alicia said. Robbie let go of Chris’s hand and ran off to join them.

“I think Jason is looking for me,” Alicia said and walked away from the Brewster sisters.

If she had to, she was going to dodge Chris as often as necessary. She didn’t go looking for Jason, but she was glad when she bumped into Jennifer. She hung out with her for a few minutes to make sure Chris hadn’t followed her.

“I didn’t know Chris and Drew were here,” Jennifer said when she saw them. “Is Chris back for good?” she asked.

Alicia shrugged. “I don’t know.” There’s Jason. I need to speak to him,” she said, using the excuse for the second time. She walked towards him.

The guests kept arriving, and so many people were there, Alicia asked Jason if he had invited the whole town.

“The most important thing is that our son is having a good time,” he said.

When they were proudly watching Robbie, Ellen approached and said that Ray had arrived. By then it was past one, and people seemed to be enjoying themselves.

“Where is he?” Alicia asked, and Ellen directed her to him.

She walked over to Robbie first, and he stopped playing with his friends and gave her his attention.

“Your grandpa is here. Are you ready to meet him?”

”Yes!”

Alicia took his hand and walked over to Ray. “Ray, this is Robbie, your grandson.” Ray placed his hand over his heart as though he was too touched to speak.

“I’m Robert Sanders, and my friends call me Robbie. I turned eight yesterday, but we decided to have the party today,” Robbie said.

Ray knelt down before him and said, “You’re so big.”

Robbie gave him a big smile. “I play a lot of sports, but mostly baseball, like my dad.”

“That’s good, Robbie.”

His friends started calling out to him, and Alicia allowed him to join them.

“Would you like to sit down?” She led Ray to unoccupied seats in the patio.

“He’s a lucky boy,” Ray said as he watched Robbie playing with his friends. On that, Alicia had to agree.

When they were talking, Jason came over and Alicia introduced him to Ray as Robbie’s father. Jason was kind to him and even invited him to help with the barbecue that he was making with the rest of the men at the party.

“You two aren’t married?” Ray asked. Alicia told him they were divorced.

“If you want to do the male-bonding thing with them, you can go,” she said, but he didn’t look too comfortable about being there.

Ellen must have explained Ray’s situation to Alan because he came over to where they were seated and shook Ray’s hand as though everything that had happened between them was water under the bridge. They talked for a bit, and when Chris joined them, Alicia took the initiative to introduce them to one another.

Chris was friendly towards him, but he appeared hesitant towards her. Chris’s physical appearance must have reminded him of a younger version of Miranda, but when Chris spoke to him, she was so different from her mother that he relaxed.

Alan talked Ray into joining the barbecuing group, and Alicia felt like Robbie’s birthday had turned into a day of forgiveness and redemption.

At around three, before the kids ate too much, Maggie brought out Robbie’s cake. Jason and Tony took pictures of the family and friends as Robbie cut the cake and everyone sang Happy Birthday.

After eating the cake, swimming, and playing with water guns, the kids dashed off to race on the track. One of the kids accidentally knocked Alicia’s arm, making her pour punch all over her top.

“Come on, I’ll get you one of Chris’s tops.” Drew led Alicia to the house.

When they were in Chris’s bedroom, Alicia recalled the last time she’d been there. The emotions that washed over her made her wish she’d carried extra tops for herself along with Robbie’s clothes.

Drew ransacked Chris’s closet for something suitable. When she found one, she placed it on the bed and left Alicia alone in the room for privacy.

Being away from the crowd gave her a moment’s peace, but being alone in Chris’s bedroom felt invasive. Deciding that being outside was better than being in there, Alicia stripped off the wet top. The punch had gone through the fabric and touched lightly on her bra.

She went to the bathroom and got a towel. After soaking it in water, she ran it over her chest to wash off the punch and tried to wipe off the stain from her bra. That wasn’t working very well. It was too awkward.

She went back to the bedroom, removed the bra, and sat on the bed as she continued to wipe it more comfortably now.

She managed to get most of the stain off and was putting her bra back on when the door opened and in walked Chris. She appeared just as surprised as Alicia was, but Alicia was the one who was practically half naked.

Alicia turned away, pulled the straps over her shoulders, and struggled to hook the bra back in place.

“Some kid knocked a glass of punch over my top,” she said, “and Drew said it was okay if I borrowed one of yours.” A tremor of shock vibrated through her body when she felt Chris’s touch on her back.

“Here, let me,” Chris said, covering Alicia’s hands with hers.

Alicia let go and closed her eyes. Her heart picked up its pace as she waited for movement. A tingle of heat rippled through her when she felt Chris’s lips on her shoulder blade.

Her memories furiously came alive, and her whole body trembled when Chris planted another kiss on her sensitive neck. She wanted to stop her. She wanted to pull away and run out as fast as she could. But her feet wouldn’t move, and her heart wouldn’t let her.

She didn’t know if she could go through another emotional roller coaster, but Chris didn’t give her much choice. She slowly wrapped her arms around Alicia’s stomach and gently moved them over the curve of her waist, and Alicia shivered at her touch.

Chris planted another kiss on her neck and eased her bra off her shoulders, slowly turning her around. The next thing Alicia knew, her lips were hungrily devouring Chris’s in a passionate kiss.

She couldn’t fight the attraction, not when Chris was so close to her, and not when she so easily stripped her of her strength.

Chris’s hands, all over her, sparked a sexual craze to life as she cupped Alicia’s breasts and deepened the intensifying kiss.

Alicia released a sigh of painful pleasure as the arousing effect of Chris’s hands awoke her sexual needs. She willingly followed when Chris led her to the bed.

She reached for Chris’s top and pulled it over her shoulders, then unbuckled her belt, unzipped her pants, and pulled them down her long lean legs. Chris quickly removed Alicia’s pants as well, and when they were both naked, they got on the bed.

The first time they had made love, Chris had taken the lead by giving Alicia more pleasure than she’d ever dreamed existed.

Now, on this day, Alicia wanted to show Chris the piece of heaven that she had denied them both. So she got on top and pinned Chris’s hands against the pillow above her head. “Keep your hands right here,” Alicia said in a low tone. When she released Chris’s hands and they started to move, Alicia pinned them again. “I mean it,” she said more firmly.

“All right,” Chris whispered.

“Promise.”

“I promise.”

“Good.” If Chris managed to touch her, Alicia knew she would lose it.

Slowly, she began by kissing her neck while moving her hands over Chris’s sexy body. A powerful force of arousal rushed into her when Chris moaned against her.

She’d never made love to a woman before, and as she did so now, she never wanted to make love to anyone else. She was shocked by how much pleasure she received from Chris’s passionate response.

Being on top of Chris, softly and unhurriedly touching her as their bodies moved against each other like silk against silk, made Alicia feel like she was about to reach orgasm.

She kissed her way down Chris’s body, loving how sweet the soft flesh tasted against her tongue. Gently, she ran her hands over the outline of Chris’s slender waist.

She buried her tongue in Chris’s navel, and another moan escaped Chris’s lips, arousing Alicia further.

She was amazed by Chris’s body. She was enthralled by how every single thing she did had a different effect on Chris. As she moved lower, she wondered what exciting mysteries lay hidden there. If she finally discovered them, would she ever break herself free from her need for them?

For that single moment, her entire world teetered in the balance, and when she decided to explore the wonders that captivated her, she knew she was entwined with them for life.

She slowly and softly ran her fingers over Chris’s intimate spot and then buried herself inside her, uncontrollably falling in love all over again.

When Chris climaxed, Alicia’s body froze in release and a crippling weakness came over her, making her collapse on Chris while her heart raced with adrenaline.

She lay on top of Chris, surprised by her own body’s reaction and then kissed her way up Chris’s stomach, ready to do it all over again.

She didn’t know how she’d lived without ever having done this before, and she doubted she’d be able to continue on without doing it again.

Making love to a woman was like a form of art: the thrill, the excitement, the joy, the satisfaction, were all there, and in this case, the end of it was excruciatingly fulfilling.

“Oh God.” Chris seemed to breathe the words, they were so soft. “May I move my arms now?”

Alicia could only nod.

Chris wrapped her arms around her, and Alicia felt like she’d gotten the old Chris back. Was it for good?

She silently lay there, afraid to speak because she didn’t want the moment to end too soon. Chris looked at her, and Alicia met her gaze. At that point, she’d given up trying to understand why Chris always made her feel the way she did.

“Your hair is longer.” Chris traced her fingers through Alicia’s hair.

“Yours is shorter,” Alicia said.

“Do you prefer the longer look?”

“Yes, no, you look beautiful with either.” Alicia bit her lower lip at the answer she offered.

“I thought you were going to take James Calloway’s offer.”

Alicia recalled their last conversation and how much it had hurt her. “I thought you were never coming back from New Zealand.”

“Have you made love to any other woman?”

The question surprised Alicia, and for a moment, she didn’t know how to respond. Why did it matter if she had or she hadn’t? Chris had been in New Zealand with Joey. Joey, she remembered and abruptly sat up.

Chris had left her for Joey, Alicia painfully remembered. What was she doing letting her emotions and her attraction to Chris sway her back into her bed? And what was Chris doing just letting it happen? Didn’t Chris realize how wrong it was for them to cheat on Joey?

“This isn’t right.” Alicia got out of bed.

Chris gripped her wrist and pulled her back in her arms. Before Alicia could argue her way out, Chris kissed her with a ruthless passion, leaving her completely weak and defenseless.

She forgot what she’d been fighting for as Chris got her back in bed, kissing her breathless as she started rediscovering and exploring her body.

While Chris made love to her, Alicia forgot their falling out. She forgot her pain and heartache as Chris branded her with her tongue. Giving pleasure, she had come to learn, was just as magnificent as receiving it. And vice versa.

Alicia opened her eyes after Chris had weakened her will with a powerful orgasm and looked at her lovely face. Chris lay on top of her, casually running her fingers over the valley between her breasts. Alicia wondered if Chris knew that even such a slight touch had an arousing effect on her.

“I didn’t go to New Zealand,” Chris said. “I was going to, but I didn’t.”

Alicia met her gaze, not quite sure what that meant.

“I went to California to see Drew. This whole time I’ve been away, I was with her.”

Alicia didn’t know if that relieved her or worried her.

“Your turn,” Chris said, and Alicia didn’t know what she wanted to hear.

What difference would any answer make anyway? It wouldn’t change their situation, it wouldn’t keep her heart from breaking, and it wouldn’t do anything except bring back tears again.

“I don’t think I can do this, Chris.” She didn’t want to leave that warm cocoon of sexual satisfaction, but she had to.

“Alicia, please,” Chris said as she moved off of her.

“You didn’t want me, and what I say here won’t make a difference to you or to our situation.” Alicia got out of bed.

“Alicia,” Chris said.

“Has anything changed?” Alicia asked, but Chris didn’t answer.

“I’m trying to move on from you. I’m trying to let this go.” She gestured towards their nudity. “You chose Joey over me. You knew how I felt about you, and you still walked away.”

She reached for her pants and started getting dressed. “I’m probably going to hate myself for sleeping with you while you’re in love with her, but I can’t believe you would sleep with me while you two are together.” She took the top Drew had given her and put it on after she’d donned her bra.

“Alicia.” Chris tried to speak, but Alicia wouldn’t let her.

She was so mad at Chris she just wanted to get out of there. “I gave you more credit than that,” she said as she walked out of the bedroom.

Chris wanted to go after Alicia but stopped when she remembered that almost the whole town was outside. She knew Alicia was speaking from hurt, and Chris blamed herself for being responsible for it. It was true, she had rejected Alicia. But not for the reasons Alicia believed.

The knock on the door made her wonder if Alicia had come back, but Drew walked in.

“What happened?” Drew asked. “Alicia stormed out of here as though she needed to get as far away as possible.” Drew threw Chris her clothes.

“I messed up again,” she said as she got out of bed.

“But I thought you decided you were going to fix it,” Drew said in a scolding tone. “Isn’t that what we talked about?”

“The matters of the heart are more complicated than you know, little sister,” Chris said as she dressed.

After Alicia had made love to her, Chris lay there in shock that her body had received such thrilling satisfaction. Alicia had been so fantastic that Chris’s first thought was that she’d been with someone else.

The very idea had driven her insane. She couldn’t picture Alicia with someone else. She couldn’t have moved on so quickly.

“What happened?” Drew asked.

Chris sat down. Her heart was racing. She wanted to go and force Alicia to hear her out, but she couldn’t. Especially now when Alicia was so mad at her and when she thought so little of Chris.

She couldn’t believe Alicia actually thought she was in love with Joey. But then again, when she’d walked out on her in New York, that was the impression she’d given, so she couldn’t blame Alicia.

When she’d gone to California, she’d told Drew everything that had happened on the night of her mother’s suicide.

She thought she would never return to Cresswell Falls, but with every single day that passed, she missed Alicia more. She missed the life she could have had with Alicia and Robbie, and somewhere along the way, she started wanting it, desiring it until it had replaced her grief and self-hatred.

Somehow, Drew had managed to talk her into forgiving herself, though it hadn’t been easy. She was no longer as haunted by that night as she had been before.

“I have to try to talk to her.” Chris walked out of the bedroom and headed downstairs.

When she went outside, she saw it had gotten a bit dark and the guests had started leaving. She said good-bye to some of them as she searched for Alicia, but she couldn’t find her.

“Did you have fun, buddy?” Chris heard Jason ask Robbie as she neared them.

“It was the best day ever,” Robbie said.

Chris finally saw Alicia, but she was talking to Ray. When Alicia called Robbie over, Jason said, “Isn’t she amazing?”

Chris nodded at Jason’s open admiration and watched as Robbie hugged his grandfather good-bye.

“Chris?” Tony had come over. “May I please have a word with you?”

She was reluctant to say yes, but she decided to let him talk to her anyway.

“About what I said that day at Alicia’s, I wanted to say I’m sorry. I know it’s too little, too late, and I understand if you never forgive me, but I just thought I should say it,” he said.

She wanted to let it go, but it was too hard. If it hadn’t been for what he’d said, a lot of things would have been avoided.

“I know you think you were protecting Alicia and Robbie, but if you had given yourself a chance to get to know me, you would have known I would never let any harm come to them. You judged me, Tony, and you said the worst things anyone has ever said to me. That triggered my mother’s suicide and my accident. Because of you, I lost everything.”

Maybe someday she would be able to forgive him, but this was not the day. She walked away from him.         

“Chris?”

She heard Robbie calling her and joined him.

“Hey, Robbie,” she said happily.

“I’m really glad you came today,” he said.

“I’m glad I came, too, buddy,” she said and hugged him.

“Will you go away again?” he asked, and she shook her head. “I think my mom will like that.”

She highly doubted it, but his confidence in her made her want to fight harder for Alicia.

“Come on, Robbie, time for you and Grandma to go home,” Jason said. Chris hugged him again and then let him go.

He ran and gave Tony a hug before Tony got in his car and drove away, and then Chris saw him hugging Drew. He was such a sweet little boy that she couldn’t help falling in love with him again.

When he got in the car with Ellen, Jason walked over to Alicia. Chris watched in surprise as Alicia stood on her toes and kissed him on the lips. Jason kissed her back, but Alicia pulled away before it got too intimate. Chris figured Alicia was sending her a message.

“It’s over,” she hopelessly told herself and walked back into the house.

Chapter 23

“Did the kiss mean anything to you?” Jason asked Alicia that night after he’d taken Robbie to bed.

She had felt nothing from the kiss. She had done it because she wanted to give Chris the impression that she had moved on.

She regretted that she had dragged Jason into it and said, “I’m sorry about that. I was caught up in the moment.”

He raised his eyebrow as he smiled at her. “Would you like to get caught up in the moment again?”

She laughed at his innocent flirting, but she shook her head. She was exhausted and just wanted to get some rest. “It won’t happen again, Jason,” she said.

“If you need me, you know where to find me.” His tone was full of innuendo.

“I do, but Robbie is the one who needs you. Not me.”

He smiled, kissed her cheek, and left her apartment.

When she snuggled under her warm sheets, the whole day went through her mind. Despite what had happened with Chris, or maybe because of it, Alicia fell asleep dreaming of her.

A knock on the door woke her up a couple of hours later. If that was Jason coming back to collect, she was literally going to kick his ass.

Without turning on the light because she didn’t want to let go of the sweet sleep that still enfolded her, she went to the door. “Who is it?”

“Alicia?”

Her whole body came awake at Chris’s voice, and she yanked the door open reflexively.

“I want you to slam the door in my face if you truly don’t want anything to do with me, and I promise I’ll go away and never bother you again,” Chris said, and Alicia tightened her hold on the doorknob.

After a moment’s hesitation, she released it instead. She stretched out her hand and reached for Chris’s shirt, then pulled her into the apartment and kissed her. When Chris was inside, Alicia closed the door and pressed Chris against it, while she explored the incredible pair of lips she was now addicted to.

She felt like Chris had stepped out of her dream, and all she wanted was to relive it over and over until her heart stopped breaking.

“Come on,” she whispered against Chris’s lips. She took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

Confidently knowing exactly what she wanted, she pushed Chris onto the bed and undressed her. She reached for the hem of her own sleeping shirt and pulled it over her shoulders, revealing her nudity.

The dim illumination from the moon danced on them, as their hearts and bodies merged. Alicia made love to Chris as she had that afternoon, realizing how much she still needed Chris.

Chris wasn’t just the woman she loved, she was her best friend. She was her twin soul, the very love of her life. That frightened her, because she didn’t know what Chris felt for her.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Chris said when they were lying naked and quiet in each other’s arms.

Alicia didn’t want to sleep anymore. She wanted to lie awake and look at Chris all night. “You didn’t wake me up. You turned my dream into reality.” She touched Chris’s soft features. “The first time you kissed me, you made me feel something I never felt before. It frightened me. It was so new and so unexpected to kiss another woman.” She ran her index finger over Chris’s nose.

“Every time you kissed me after that, it always felt like a new experience, and as much as it scared me, I loved it.” She closed her eyes and kissed Chris.

Her heart responded the way it always did, and her body shortly followed. Not wanting to get carried away again, she opened her eyes and said, “This afternoon when I was making love to you, I realized that I never wanted to stop. I will always want you, Chris. I can’t deny that. When you touch me, or when you kiss me, I will always be dying to touch you and kiss you back. But what terrifies me is never knowing whether you’re going to turn and run in the opposite direction.”

She placed a kiss on Chris’s forehead and wondered if that was what Chris was going to do now. Run.

“One of these days you’re going to run out of chances, Chris,” she said softly and then turned away.

“I love you, Alicia.”

Her entire being tensed.

“I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you,” Chris said. “It was never my intention to push you away. I never wanted you to be with Tony. Every time I saw him touching you or kissing you, it drove me mad. But I cared for you so much that I put your happiness, and Robbie’s, above my own.”

Alicia closed her eyes to hold back the tears.

“You had been through so much I couldn’t bear causing you more harm. I tried to settle for friendship. I told myself it was enough. But every time I got too close, I ended up kissing you and wanting you more. Alicia, I have silently loved you for so long.” Chris softly ran her hand over Alicia’s back.

“I know,” she said, “it’s going to be hard for Robbie to understand, and a lot of people in this town are going to talk. If that frightens you, if that makes you want to back out of being with me, I’ll understand. I would never knowingly hurt you when I have a choice.” Chris planted a kiss on her shoulder.

Alicia turned to face her, and her cheeks were covered in tears.

“Please don’t cry,” Chris said as she wiped away her tears. “I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt you again.”

“What about Joey?”

“Joey’s my best friend, and she knows how crazy I am about you.”

Alicia knew she had to be dreaming. It couldn’t be real. Had Chris really always loved her so much?

“I know I hurt you in New York when I gave you the impression that I was going to be with Joey, but it was the only way I knew you’d let me go. When you told me you loved me, I swear I wanted to say it back. But after my mother died, I just didn’t have it in me to put you through what I was going through. I needed to be in a position where I could truly make you happy when I said I loved you.” Chris kissed Alicia, making her heart soar.

“All I want to do is love you, Alicia,” she said against her lips.

When they pulled apart, Alicia dried her tears and said, “I haven’t been with anyone else and the only reason I kissed Jason was because I was mad at you. I never accepted James Calloway’s offer because fashion meant nothing without you. Chris, I don’t care about what anyone in this town thinks, I don’t care about what they say, all I care about is being with you, and I think even Robbie understands that.”

“He does?”

“He told me he didn’t want me to get him anything for his birthday. He said he wanted you because you made me happy.”

“He said that?”

“Yes.”

“What about your mom, Jason, Tony, and Ray?”

“Mom knows about us, and she’s okay with it. As for Jason, Tony, and Ray, they’ve all lived their lives their own way. I think it’s time I lived mine my way.”

“What if people start talking? Are you sure you can handle it?”

“Let them talk. I don’t care. All I really care about is having a life with you. It’s all I’ve wanted for a long time now.”

Chris passionately kissed her, and Alicia laughed against her lips when she tickled her sensitive ribs.

“Are you coming back to work?” Alicia asked as she got on top of Chris.

“Only if you beg me to,” Chris teased.

“Please come back. It’s awfully lonely without you.”

“For one frightening moment back there,” Chris said, “I thought I’d lost you.” She pulled Alicia closer and pecked her lips.

“I thought the same thing about you,” Alicia said. Chris kissed her softly this time, and they spent the rest of the night making love and making up.

* * *

“Ray is dying,” Alicia told Chris on Monday afternoon when they were in their office. “He has lung cancer, and he said he doesn’t have long to live.”

Chris walked over to her and embraced her. “I’m so sorry,” she said.

“I never intended to let him back in my life, but after what happened to you and Miranda…”

“You did the right thing,” Chris said. “It took me a long time to understand that my mother’s mistakes weren’t mine.”

“It’s just sad, you know? He had nothing to lose, but he still took this long to come back.”

“It’s better than never coming back.”

Alicia didn’t know how long she would have with Ray, but she hoped it was enough time to get to know him again.

“Don’t think about what will happen,” Chris said. “Think about right now. It’s what you both have.”

Chris was right, she didn’t have to dwell on a future her father would most likely be absent from. “Make me forget,” she told Chris, who happily obliged.

Alicia had spent the whole morning briefing Chris about everything that had taken place at work while she had been away. Afterwards, they discussed the future of the company.

Alicia was working on a new line. In a couple of months, they were going to host the first fashion show in Cresswell Falls and invite all the fashion critics to come and view their collection.

After that, they were going to expand their business and open a clothes store in New York, dealing with distribution of their fashion line. For the next step, they hoped to move to other fashion cities in the world.

It was just a matter of time before the whole town found out about their relationship, but Alicia didn’t care. She had stopped caring about what people thought of her a long time ago. She refused to let them have that much power over her life.

Besides, Alicia understood that the success of the Mathews and Brewster fashion line would smooth over a lot of bumps in the road. Cresswell Falls was a small town with approximately seven thousand inhabitants, known for the beautiful natural waterfall that gave the town light and life. Mathews and Brewster would help it become known as a small town with people who had big dreams.

Author Kerry Belchambers    Photo Credit: Steve Mamesh

About the Author

Kerry Belchambers is a Kenyan native who writes because she loves to. In addition to being an author, she’s an event planner. When she’s not writing or planning events, she enjoys reading, cooking, photography, rollerskating, and watching movies.

Several of her short stories have been published in the Daily Nation, a local newspaper, and one of her poems was included in a South African anthology titled Eternal Voice. She has also written a satirical play entitled The Dangling Dodger, based on the African political imbalance. It has been performed at the Kenya National Theatre.

Cresswell Falls is Kerry’s debut novel.

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