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Worth the risk

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By the Author

Worth the Risk

Harmony

Worth the risk

by

Karis Walsh

2012

Worth the risk

© 2011 By Karis Walsh. all rights reserved.

isBN 13: 978-1-60282-623-6

This ElEcTronic Book is PuBlishEd By

Bold sTrokEs Books, inc.

P.o. Box 249

VallEy Falls, ny 12185

FirsT EdiTion: January 2012

This is a Work oF FicTion. naMEs, characTErs, PlacEs, and

incidEnTs arE ThE ProducT oF ThE auThor’s iMaGinaTion or

arE usEd FicTiTiously. any rEsEMBlancE To acTual PErsons,

liVinG or dEad, BusinEss EsTaBlishMEnTs, EVEnTs, or localEs

is EnTirEly coincidEnTal.

This Book, or ParTs ThErEoF, May noT BE rEProducEd in any

ForM WiThouT PErMission.

Credits

EdiTor: ruTh sTErnGlanTz

ProducTion dEsiGn: susan raMundo

coVEr dEsiGn By shEri (GraPhicarTisT2020@hoTMail.coM)

Acknowledgments

I’d like to thank the authors and associates at Bold Strokes Books for

their support and encouragement. I’ve had the opportunity to meet

many of them this year, and they’ve become my extended family,

my friends. I feel truly honored to be part of this organization.

Thank you to Radclyffe for striking the perfect balance between

personal and professional. Between business sense and a deep love

of LGBTQ literature.

And of course, a heartfelt thank you to my editor, Ruth Sternglantz,

for the time, effort, and care she has invested in the editing process.

This is as much her book as it is mine, and it’s been my privilege to

work with her and learn from her.

Dedication

To Frank

For your friendship

Worth the risk

Chapter one

Jamie Callahan leaned back in the black leather chair and

let her attention wander while her boss droned on about

interest rates and the recent changes in the estate tax. She wanted to

prop her feet on the conference table and take a short nap, but she

decided that would be pushing it too far. Dave Randall accepted a

large amount of familiarity and independence in private from his

most productive investment analyst, but she knew better than to hint

at insubordination in front of the other bankers. So she occupied her

mind with math games, a habit she had cultivated since childhood,

and blocked out the world around her with numbers. She was in the

middle of multiplying a long series of fractions when she registered

that the meeting had turned its attention in her direction.

“Could you repeat that?” she asked Dave, careful not to change

her casual posture. She had no need to appear guilty since it was

an accepted fact that she tuned out the portions of these meetings

having little to do with her job.

“We have a couple of interesting loan requests, and I was wondering whether you wanted to research them,” he said, with no sign of irritation at her obvious lack of attention. He was young for his

position, but Jamie had learned he had an intuitive sense of his

employees’ abilities. He was willing to grant Jamie plenty of leeway

as long as she continued to make their corporate bank plenty of money.

“Sure. Those initial portfolios for the Bennett execs are

prepped and ready to go to an associate, so I have the time,” Jamie

• 13 •

karis Walsh

said, accepting the assignment easily. She mainly handled highend,

lucrative projects for Dave, but occasionally he’d offer her some of

the unique or more difficult to research requests. She enjoyed the

chance to help smallbusiness owners achieve their dreams, as long

as they were carefully planned and financially viable. She viewed

these individual loan requests as a hobby, although she never lost

sight of the bottom line. Her involvement was never personal, but

working these projects was fun and sometimes an opportunity to

learn new things. “What are the details?”

Dave glanced at the folders in front of him. “One guy has an

Indian restaurant and wants capital to open two others in nearby

districts. The second is a request for sponsorship, so you can send

your report to the PR department. The woman wants to buy a horse.”

The group laughed along with Jamie. “A horse?” she repeated.

“You’re sure this isn’t some kid who wants a hundred dollars to buy

a pony?”

“Try one point five mil.” Dave corrected her with a grin.

“Apparently it’s a nice horse.”

He slid the folders along the table, and Jamie stopped them

with a slap of her palm when they reached her seat. “As long as I get

to stand in the winner’s circle at the Kentucky Derby, she can have

the money.”

“Show jumper, not a racehorse,” Dave said, leaving her to read

through the applications while he moved on to other matters.

By the time the meeting ended, Jamie had filled two pages of

her notebook with questions and terminology to research. The horse

idea seemed ridiculous to her, but the application was carefully

crafted and appeared legit. The restaurant owner seemed to have

a good idea but not much business sense, and she would need to

judge that when she talked to him in person, if the application made

it to that point. She tried to keep an open mind in the early stages of

research, and she made sure she understood all the facts before she

let her intuition take over.

“Hey, Jenn,” Jamie said as she paused by her assistant’s desk

on the way back to her corner office. “What’s the name of the Indian

restaurant on Burnside? I think there’s one in Beaverton as well.”

• 14 •

Worth the risk

“Bombay Palace,” Jenn Harris answered without hesitation.

She rapidly entered a few keystrokes on her computer. “Here it is.

They started with a street cart and now have three franchises around

Portland. The two you mentioned and one in the Pearl District.”

“Do they deliver?”

“Not personally, but they’re members of the Portland Express

system. Do you have a craving?”

“It’s for research,” Jamie answered with a laugh. “Order a

variety of entrees for me before you leave tonight. I have to work

late, so I’ll eat in my office. Oh, and get Elaine on the line.”

Jamie ignored Jenn’s disapproving frown and shut herself in

the large office. She had just settled at her desk, her back to the

expansive views of downtown Portland and the Willamette River,

when her phone buzzed. She picked up the receiver and pressed the

button for an outside line.

“Elaine, Jamie here. Something’s come up at work, so I won’t

be home for dinner tonight.”

The other end of the line was dead silent for a moment. “It

would probably be easier if you just called when you were going to

make it home on time.”

“I know, I know.” Jamie sighed and attempted to placate her.

“Tell Anna I’m sorry and I’ll make it up to her.”

“I’m sure you will. There’s a new computer game she’s been

talking about, something to do with creating a pet store. I guess it

will have to do.”

Elaine hung up loudly, and Jamie sat staring at the phone for

a few minutes before shrugging off her guilty feelings and getting

to work. By the time her Indian food arrived, she was deep into

her research and barely registered Jenn’s entrance with several

plastic containers of curried meats and vegetables. She ate the rather

bland, Americanized version of Indian cuisine sitting alone on her

leather sofa. The Bombay Palace had successfully done what her

investment applicant wanted to attempt, and learning more about

the local competition would help her to reach her decision. She

tried to shut out the thought of how excited her niece Anna would

have been if Jamie had taken her and her livein nanny Elaine to

• 15 •

karis Walsh

the restaurant instead of settling for solitary carryout. She took a

few bites of runny rice pudding before she gave up on the meal

and returned to her desk, where she lost herself in the data flashing

across her computer screen.

❖

Shortly after eight, Jamie locked her office door and headed

down to the building’s parking garage. She dumped her leftover

dinner containers into a trash can on her way to the car so she

wouldn’t leave the smell of curry in the office and walked through the

nearly empty lot to her silver Mercedes. She sped along Highway 26

to Beaverton, the Portland suburb where she owned a large, groundfloor condo, and barely made it to Best Buy before they closed.

Jamie moved through the store like her convertible hugged the road,

stopping the first sales clerk she saw and asking for the game Anna

wanted. In less than five minutes she was back in her car with the

guilt offering in hand, nervously tapping her fingers on the steering

wheel. It was past Anna’s bedtime, so she wouldn’t be able to give

her the present tonight. Even if Anna would have been awake,

Jamie didn’t know what she’d say to her. She was apologizing for

more than a missed meal, and the computer game wasn’t enough.

It never was. The deepest relationships Jamie could handle were

business meetings and onenight stands. After only a few seconds of

indecision, Jamie started the car and drove back into the city. Might

as well play to her strengths. She found a parking spot near one of

Portland’s bars that catered to a large business clientele.

Jamie shrugged out of her black suit jacket, tossed it on the

backseat, and straightened the collar on her boldly striped blueandwhite silk shirt. She headed straight for the bar and leaned against it as she assessed the patrons quickly.

“Laphroaig, neat,” she ordered when the bartender came over.

She knew she’d only be having one drink tonight, so she might as

well make it worthwhile. She took a sip of the smoky scotch, rolling

it across her tongue appreciatively as her gaze came to rest on a

voluptuous redhead a few stools down. She let the judgments form

• 16 •

Worth the risk

easily. Young, early twenties. Fresh out of business school since

she seemed stiff in her offtherack skirt and jacket. Still thrilled

with her title of assistant manager and not jaded enough to realize

it meant next to nothing. Flushed with excitement because that

successfullooking butch was obviously hitting on her, but a little

uncomfortable with how aggressively the imposing woman was

leaning into her personal space. Probably a lawyer, Jamie labeled her

competition instinctively. She was interrogating the redhead with

the intensity due a hostile witness on the stand, not a potential date.

Everything about her spoke of experience, from her wellcut suit to

the posturing that was practiced and designed to intimidate. And she

looked smart enough to recognize a losing case when she saw one.

Jamie could poach on her territory and not expect to be challenged.

Perfect, she thought. She took another drink of her scotch, waiting

for someone in the crowd to move the right way, and then walked

toward the pair.

She kept her eyes focused straight ahead, managing to arrive

next to her target just as another patron passed on her right. She

moved out of his way more than necessary, jarring the young

businesswoman lightly with her shoulder.

“Oops, sorry,” Jamie apologized, locking on to the woman’s

startled blue eyes. She held her gaze as she gently placed a hand on

the redhead’s upper arm. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Hey,” the wouldbe suitor said brusquely from behind Jamie.

“Watch where you’re going.”

Jamie turned toward her competition and raised her hands.

“Easy. It was just an accident.” She met the redhead’s eyes again

with a slight raise of her eyebrows. “Sorry, again,” she said quietly

before continuing on her way. She made it several yards before a

hand caught her elbow. A small grin played over her mouth as she

turned to face the young woman.

The redhead looked flustered for a moment, so Jamie quickly

took charge and held out her hand. “Jamie Callahan. I work at

Davison and Burke.”

They shook hands and Jamie registered the look of appreciation

on the other woman’s face. It was definitely the type of bar where

• 17 •

karis Walsh

you could use your company’s name to help you get laid. Not that

Jamie needed the assistance, but it did speed up the process.

“I’m Candace Markham. I just started at First Capital Bank,”

she told Jamie, almost apologetically.

“That’s great. Lots of room for advancement with them,” Jamie

said before she glanced back at the fuming lawyer who, as Jamie

had expected, stayed seated and made no defensive moves. “I didn’t

mean to interrupt your conversation back there.”

“Oh, that was nothing,” Candace assured her. “We just met.”

“So did we,” Jamie said with a smile. “And guess what we’re

going to do tonight.”

Candace’s eyes dilated instantly, her dark pupils almost

blacking out the light blue of her irises. She stepped forward and

trailed a finger over the buttons of Jamie’s shirt. “What exactly do

you have in mind?”

Jamie leaned closer and breathed her answer into the redhead’s

ear. “I’m thinking we’ll go to your place so I can get you out of that

suit and fuck you until you scream for more.”

Candace slid her hand around Jamie’s neck and pulled her face

down for a searing kiss. “Sounds perfect,” she whispered as she

broke away. She turned and walked toward the door, leaving Jamie

to swallow the last of her drink before she followed.

Too easy, she thought as she drove behind Candace’s Prius and

slipped into a parking space near her apartment building. Still, she

played her part exactly as required, pushing Candace against the door

as soon as they were inside and kissing her deeply, slowly stripping

off her business suit. Jamie helped when Candace’s trembling

fingers tried to undo her own expensive black slacks. Jamie led

Candace to the bed and then worked her way along Candace’s body

until she was begging for release. Candace’s fingers tangled in her

hair as Jamie expertly used her tongue and fingers to drive Candace

screaming toward the promised orgasm.

Jamie slid back up to the pillows next to Candace, who clutched

at her and kissed her hungrily. Candace’s hand slid between Jamie’s

legs, but Jamie caught it and rolled on top of the other woman. She

held both of Candace’s hands captive above her head.

• 18 •

Worth the risk

“Bend your knee,” she demanded roughly as she straddled

Candace’s thigh and slid her crotch along it, pressing on her swollen

clit and making herself come with a shuddering gasp. She collapsed

on the bed and gently cradled Candace against her. She would rest

just a few minutes, she told herself as she stroked the silky red hair

that lay across her breasts, and then she would go home.

She managed to keep the guilt and loneliness away until the

drive home through the dark, empty city streets. Why couldn’t she

communicate with her niece as easily as with a business client or a

stranger in a bar? Desperately needing a shower and embarrassed

by the new computer game that sat on the passenger seat, Jamie

reached her condo a little after one in the morning. Just a few hours

to go, she promised herself, and then she would be back at work and

able to distract her mind from this empty life.

• 19 •

• 20 •

Worth the risk

Chapter tWo

Kate Brown peeled off her dusty jeans, tight as a second

skin after hundreds of washings, and tossed them on her

bed. A faded yellow Tshirt, sweaty socks, and a frayed sports bra

quickly joined the untidy pile. She replaced the familiar outfit with

a carefully fitted gray skirt, pencil thin and hemmed to right above

the knee. She had put more thought into that hemline than she’d

cared to. Just enough leg showing to invite a potential investor’s

appreciative glance, but not enough to imply anyone could move

higher.

Completely impractical, Kate thought with disgust as she

slipped on a lightly padded bra and a blue silk blouse with fragile

pearl buttons. And damned uncomfortable. Kate shifted the bra so

its underwire wasn’t digging in her ribs and buttoned the snug gray

jacket. If she were the one with money, she wouldn’t finance the

equestrian in the tailored suit. She would back the rider who showed

up at her office in scuffed paddock boots and old jeans with wear

marks across the seat where chaps had chafed against the denim. But

she wasn’t the one with money, and she had to convince someone

who probably knew nothing about horses that she was worth a

milliondollar gamble.

Kate went into her bathroom and leaned toward the mirror as

she picked pieces of hay out of her mussed hair. She brushed it until

she had erased any sign she had spent the morning wearing a riding

helmet and clipped it back in a smooth ponytail. She replaced her

• 21 •

karis Walsh

gold stud earrings with silver hoops that matched the barrette and

stood back to appraise the finished product. The effect was cold and

impersonal. Exactly the lie she wanted to project—that she was

more at home in a bank than in a barn.

She stopped by the den and picked up her new briefcase,

feeling a slender folder shifting inside. She could easily carry the

few pages of projected expenses and competition schedules by

hand, but she wanted the briefcase to complete her professional

outfit. She shoved a few outdated horse magazines in the case,

covering them with a stack of vet bills she pulled randomly out

of the file cabinet. Kate put her meeting notes on top, snapped the

briefcase shut, and hefted it in her hand. Much better, as long as

no one dug through her papers. Her costume was complete, and all

Kate had left to do was play the part.

❖

Jamie sat at her desk with pages of handwritten notes about

horses, market values, and showjumping statistics strewn over the

glossy burl walnut surface. She was scrolling through the results of

local horse shows when her intercom buzzed.

“Yes?” she said, cradling the receiver with her shoulder as she

gathered her notes and tucked them neatly into a leather folder.

“Kaitlyn Brown is here,” Jenn’s professional voice announced.

“Send her in.” Jamie slipped into her usual black suit jacket,

buttoning it over a silky taupe blouse marked with bold black

slashes, and rose to meet her guest. She didn’t practice the cheap

trick of keeping people waiting for appointments. She had no need

to reinforce the fact that she held the power in this relationship by

wasting everyone’s valuable time.

Jenn entered the office, followed by a slender woman in a light

gray suit. Jamie’s carefully controlled expression revealed no sign

of her appreciation of the woman in front of her. Although Jamie’s

normal standard of beauty tended toward curvy and soft, she was

willing to concede that the athletic Kaitlyn definitely was feminine,

with her small waist and incredible legs. Naturally platinum hair,

• 22 •

Worth the risk

held off her face by a silver barrette, combined with the cool tones

of her outfit to give her a decidedly chilly appearance.

“Ms. Brown, I’m Jamie Callahan.” Jamie reached out to shake

hands and suddenly found herself lost in the warmth of Kaitlyn’s

mossy green eyes. The flecks of gold in them were in such contrast

to her cooler hair and pale skin that Jamie momentarily lost her train

of thought and held Kaitlyn’s hand for a fraction of a second longer

than she should have. She quickly stepped back behind her desk,

putting more physical distance between them, and gestured for the

other woman to sit.

“Thank you for taking the time to meet with me,” Kaitlyn said

as she sat across from Jamie and placed a navy briefcase on the

floor next to her. The leather was unscuffed and the latches were

too shiny, Jamie noticed reflexively. Probably bought just for this

meeting, since her regular job wouldn’t require it.

“Can I get you something to drink?” Jenn asked. “Coffee? Tea?

Water?”

“Coffee would be nice. Cream, no sugar,” Kaitlyn said.

Jamie nodded at Jenn before she left. Over the years she had

come up with a series of small tests that had proved to be very

effective at revealing a person’s character, and Kaitlyn had just

passed the first one. She had enough confidence to ask for something

she wanted without needing Jamie to make the first move. Jamie

quickly moved on to the second test while Jenn was out of the room.

“Five sentences,” she said tersely, unbuttoning her suit jacket

as she leaned back in her chair. “Tell me what you want and why.”

Kaitlyn nodded and sat for a moment, looking slightly to the

right of Jamie’s head as she collected her thoughts. “I have the

opportunity to buy and campaign an Olympiccaliber show jumper

for one and a half million dollars,” she started, meeting Jamie’s gaze

with those soft eyes of hers. “I have the talent and skills needed to

ride him at the highest level, but I don’t have the money to buy him or

the fame required to get a bigname sponsor. This horse would help

me break into the top tier of my sport and would give me a chance to

qualify for the Olympic team three years from now. The investment

would put Davison and Burke’s name alongside the likes of Rolex,

• 23 •

karis Walsh

Budweiser, and Hermès, and an animalrelated sponsorship would

help your public image. Finally, after a five-year commitment, your

bank should see a strong return on its investment since this horse

will still be young enough to compete, and his bloodlines give him

great potential as a breeding stallion.”

“Very good,” Jamie acknowledged as Jenn reentered the room

with two mugs. She had met too many people who wanted her

company’s money yet were unable to clearly articulate why. Kaitlyn

Brown was doing well so far, and Jamie settled back in her chair

again, eager to see how she would fare with test three.

Jamie accepted her coffee with a smile of thanks at Jenn, and

she watched Kaitlyn take a sip of hers and grimace. She held the cup

out to Jenn as she passed by her chair on the way to the door.

“I take my coffee with cream and no sugar,” Kaitlyn said in a

kind voice, but without apology. “This tastes very sweet.”

“I’m sorry,” Jenn said smoothly, taking the mug. “Let me fix

that for you.”

Jamie hid her smile by taking a drink of her own coffee. Well

done, Ms. Brown. Most people in this situation were too nervous to

correct Jamie’s assistant, and they would politely drink anything Jenn

brought them, no matter how disgusting. Politeness had its place,

but she wasn’t about to lend it large sums of money. Confidence and

assertiveness were much better traits in those who were potentially

to be trusted with the company’s assets. She and Jenn had shamefully

laughed over the miserable concoctions some people had consumed

in her office, and she was willing to bet Kaitlyn’s drink had been

more sugar than coffee.

Jenn returned quickly with a perfectly made cup of coffee,

and Jamie stood up and waved toward a sleek sofa that faced the

floor-to-ceiling picture windows. “Why don’t we get comfortable

over here while I ask some questions I have about this venture,”

she suggested. The two women settled on the couch, and Jamie

reluctantly dragged her eyes off the lean, muscular calves revealed

by Kaitlyn’s kneelength skirt. She never mixed business with

pleasure, but the contrasts she saw in this woman were intoxicating.

She was coolly poised and in control during the interview, but

• 24 •

Worth the risk

those warm eyes hinted at a sense of humor and a depth of emotion

Kaitlyn carefully kept off her other features. Her porcelain skin

and hair were almost too pale until a soft flush of heat colored her

cheeks when Jamie moved slightly into her personal space on the

sofa.Jamie acknowledged it was a sense of attraction to Kaitlyn and

nothing to do with her business evaluation that made her sit closer

than she normally would. She tamped down what she decided was

her body’s natural response to a beautiful woman and shifted slightly

away. There was no way she would give in and make this personal,

although she might be persuaded to offer comfort to Kaitlyn if she

had to deny her application. She shook herself mentally and forced

her focus to return to the interview and away from thoughts of

exactly how she would like to go about comforting the woman next

to her.Time to get back to business. Jamie rallied herself as she

opened her notebook to a page of questions she’d prepared. While

her first three tests were easy to evaluate, this one was more of a gut

reaction. She wanted to see the rare mix of detached business sense

and true passion that had marked most of the successful ventures

she had recommended as investments.

“What if the horse goes lame or dies?” Jamie plunged right in

with her usual pessimistic approach to questioning. She dredged up

every potential problem she could find with the proposal and waited

to see how the applicant would respond. Those with more passion

than sense would sometimes crumble under this tactic since they

tended to avoid looking at the negative aspects of their dreams. And

if a candidate didn’t really love the idea they were pitching, they

could counter the downfalls, but rarely could they convince her of

the reasons their dream was worth the risk.

Kaitlyn seemed to have anticipated the question. “I’d

recommend Davison and Burke carry a full insurance policy on the

stallion, including lossofuse in case he’s injured and no longer

able to compete or breed.” She pulled a folder out of her briefcase,

snapping the case shut before Jamie had a chance to peek inside.

She found it interesting to look through the documents and papers

• 25 •

karis Walsh

people carried with them, especially the personal ones, but Kaitlyn

didn’t seem willing to share.

“Here’s a quote from my insurance agent,” Kaitlyn said as she

handed Jamie a large envelope and set her briefcase by her feet.

Jamie put the envelope aside. She would read it later even

though she had already done preliminary research on equine

insurance. “Okay, say we back you and you manage to keep the

horse sound, what guarantee do we have that you’ll win?”

“None,” Kaitlyn said with a small shrug. “I can’t promise we’ll

win every class or make it to the Olympics. But I trust the man who

found the stallion in Europe and recommended him to me. And I

know I ride well enough to take him to the top.”

Jamie still could see too much potential for disaster in the

venture, but she admired Kaitlyn’s confidence. And some of her

most superficially foolish investments had yielded the highest

returns. Kaitlyn had obviously researched the elements of her plan

that might be problematic, and she wasn’t afraid to discuss them.

Jamie backed off her negative line of questioning since Kaitlyn

was echoing the details Jamie had already covered in her research.

PR sponsorships were as much about personality and charisma as

logistics. She might as well give in to her desire to know more about

Kaitlyn.

“Tell me about your barn,” she said, leaning back and draping

her arm along the back of the couch. She wasn’t touching Kaitlyn,

but the gesture was too casual, too datelike. Jamie considered

pulling back but decided the retraction would be worse than having

put her arm there in the first place. Aside from her flushed cheeks,

which could just as well be attributed to interview stress, Kaitlyn

didn’t seem fazed by her closeness, and Jamie’s attention shifted

from the conversation to the woman herself. Just a few inches

forward and her arm would be lying across Kaitlyn’s shoulders, her

fingers would unclip the silver barrette and slide through Kaitlyn’s

hair…“…and I contacted the developer when he was planning the

housing community and got my stables included,” Kaitlyn said.

Jamie mentally shook herself and refocused, disturbed to realize she

• 26 •

Worth the risk

had zoned out while fantasizing about the woman she was supposed

to be interviewing. Although she didn’t care about the missed details

since Kaitlyn had included the information about her barn in the

application packet, Jamie was bothered by her loss of control, of

focus.“My outdoor arena is open to the public, so the homeowners’

association pays for its upkeep. My farm is ten acres and I have

access to a trail system that’s maintained by the community.”

Jamie nodded as if she had been intently following every word.

Kaitlyn went on to describe her property, from the dimensions of

her riding arena to the number of stalls in her barn. Dry facts, but

no real substance. Once Jamie managed to rein in her wandering

attention, she noticed Kaitlyn occasionally slipped out of her

detached, businesslike demeanor. A fire lit up her eyes when she

talked about riding and, especially, about the students she taught.

She seemed to be carefully monitoring her every word, though, and

she would pull back each time she started to talk and gesture a little

more freely.

Finally, the two women stood and shook hands again. Jamie

was struck once more by the contrast she noticed as she held

Kaitlyn’s hand. Her palm was slightly callused and roughened by

work. Given the glimpses of skin she could see, Jamie’s mind could

easily imagine how smooth the rest of her would be to touch. She

was impressed enough by the interview to agree to come and watch

Kaitlyn ride, although she felt oddly uneasy with her assessment

of Kaitlyn herself. She knew she was good at reading people and

usually could get a strong sense of personality after a facetoface

interview, but this woman eluded her somehow. She had done the

right things, said the right words, while still keeping part of herself

hidden throughout their meeting. Jamie sat at her desk without

working for a long time after Kaitlyn left. She was uncomfortably

aware that she had personal reasons, unconnected to her analysis of

the proposed business venture, to want to know more about Kaitlyn

Brown.

❖

• 27 •

karis Walsh

“Kate, over here,” Myra Owens called to her friend as she

passed through the history section of Powell’s Books.

“Hey, Myra. Thanks for meeting me here,” Kate said, giving

her a quick kiss on the cheek. She had escaped the offices of

Davison and Burke and taken the short ride on the MAX to the huge

downtown bookstore.

“So, how did it go?” Myra asked. Kate could hear the concern

in her voice. Myra knew her too well to miss the signs of fatigue and

worry Kate tried to hide.

Kate shook her head as the two headed down the stairs toward

the store’s cafe. “She’s a shark. I’m just lucky I made it out of her

office without being eaten.” She flushed slightly at the Freudian

slip, as she silently conceded that it might not have been a bad

thing. Jamie Callahan definitely oozed a raw sexuality, and even in

her nervousness at the interview, Kate hadn’t been immune to her

attractive qualities. The combination of confidence and power was

mesmerizing, and adding in her Idon’tgiveadamnwhatyouthink attitude had made it difficult for Kate to drag her eyes away.

“Uhoh, you’re blushing,” Myra observed with a laugh. “I take

it your Ms. Callahan has looks as well as money?”

Kate shrugged. “She’s okay, I guess. Tall and kind of severe.

And it’s the bank’s money I need, not hers.”

The two women got in line to order their drinks, and Kate

added to herself that the word severe was probably not accurate.

Jamie’s clothes and attitude were definitely designed to make a

statement of power and control, but the woman inside looked

anything but cold. Her reddishbrown hair was short and a bit

shaggy, and Kate couldn’t decide if she paid a fortune to have it

look as if she didn’t care, or if she cut it herself because she really

didn’t. Kate was inclined to believe the latter. Jamie’s soft brown

eyes had glinted with humor during the whole coffee episode,

and when she sat close to Kate on the couch there had been an

overwhelming feeling of heat and strength coming from her. For

a moment, Kate had been tempted to lean on her shoulder and

just sob out the whole story of her failed attempts to finance this

damned horse, begging for help. Then Jamie had moved subtly out

• 28 •

Worth the risk

of reach, and Kate had managed to control her ragged emotions

long enough to finish the interview.

“So, tell me all about it,” Myra prompted when they finally

found a seat at a long, crowded table.

Kate sighed and took a sip of her Earl Grey tea before

answering. “I felt like Indiana Jones,” she said with a frown. “Like

I had to make my way through a series of challenges in order to

get out of the temple, and she was just sitting there watching me,

waiting for me to fail.”

“Challenges? What do you mean?”

“Well, her assistant got my coffee order wrong—I mean really

wrong. And believe me, this woman didn’t look like she would ever

make a mistake. I think Jamie wanted to see if I would just drink it

anyway, or stand up for myself.”

“So it’s Jamie now?”

Kate blushed again, silently cursing her toopale skin for

showing every slight embarrassment. “It helps to think of her that

way. It’s less intimidating.”

“Hey, don’t get me wrong,” Myra said. “I know how much this

means to you, and if you need to use those killer looks of yours to

get the sponsorship, then go for it. Although that might have been a

little too much cleavage for a business meeting.”

Myra gestured at Kate’s blouse and made her blush even deeper.

Once she had left the office building, she had taken off the blazer

and opened the top two buttons of her silk shirt. “Don’t worry, I

was properly clothed the whole time,” she said. If there was one

thing Kate knew well, it was how to fit into any situation, and the

uncomfortable clothes had just been part of the charade. No matter

how much of herself she had to hide, or how exhausting it was to

keep pretending she belonged, this was the only way she could get

what she wanted. And if she managed to finance her horse and make

it to the international shows, then she would finally know she had

arrived and could just be herself. She had to ignore the fact that on

every rung of the ladder she had felt the same way, as if she was a

fraud and those around her would know the truth if they managed to

see beyond her mask.

• 29 •

karis Walsh

“So what happens next?” Myra asked.

“She’s coming to the barn tomorrow to watch me ride,” Kate

said. “So at least I’ve made it to the second stage. And even though

she was negative, she asked a lot of good questions today, so she’s

taking me seriously enough to have done all that research. I just

have to impress the hell out of her when I ride.” And ignore the

sexual energy that made it difficult to think straight. Jamie Callahan

couldn’t ever see her as weak. No one could.

• 30 •

Worth the risk

Chapter three

Jamie’s Mercedes ate up the few miles of I-5 between

downtown Portland and the suburb of Wilsonville where

Kaitlyn Brown’s barn was located. She zipped in and out of traffic,

downshifting for some of the tighter turns and enjoying the feel of

her car as it gripped the road. She had initially wanted a Mercedes

because it whispered wealth and power instead of shouting it

like a flashier sports car. And she had chosen the E-Class eight-

cylinder convertible because it was just damned fun to drive. She

took the exit for Wilsonville and soon arrived at the Cedar Grove

housing development. Kaitlyn’s barn was located at the back of the

development, and Jamie admired the initiative it must have taken to

get her stables included as part of Cedar Grove when it was designed

several years earlier. Jamie expected most small farms in the same

situation would have sold out, moved on, and she was impressed by

Kaitlyn’s business sense and attitude. Even more, she recognized

the same kind of creative problemsolving she had used to become

successful in her own career.

Jamie stopped the car on the road leading to Kaitlyn’s farm and

took a few minutes to observe it from a distance and evaluate her

first impressions. Next to the street, enclosed by a white panel fence,

was the outdoor riding arena filled with brightly colored jumps.

Everything looked freshly painted, and Jamie figured that was in

anticipation of visits from potential investors, like hers today. The

gravel driveway led past several paddocks, each containing a dozing

• 31 •

karis Walsh

or grazing horse, and Jamie knew from Kaitlyn’s application that the

road continued up to a couple of barns and an indoor arena. Kaitlyn

hadn’t spent a fortune on landscaping, obviously, but everything

appeared to be wellmaintained and tidy. The atmosphere was calm

and the summer sun hadn’t yet turned the green grass brown.

Jamie’s mind conjured up a fleeting picture of Anna and her

bedroom filled with model horses and animal books. She would have

enjoyed coming today, but that wouldn’t have been a good idea. No

sense wanting what you can’t have, Jamie thought bitterly as she

threw her car into drive with more force than necessary. She pushed

aside her brief flash of anger and drove slowly up to Kaitlyn’s barn.

She had been left feeling vaguely disquieted after her last interview

with this woman, and she was determined to keep a professional

distance today. Distance gave her perspective, and she had gotten

too close to Kaitlyn. Almost close enough to touch. To care. The

only thing that mattered to Jamie was her company’s bottom line,

and she could only protect it if she remained uninvolved emotionally.

Her accustomed confidence in her ability to see through layers of

personality and read another person had been shaken, and she knew

it was because she was physically attracted to Kaitlyn.

Although Jamie had never before found herself in a situation

quite like this, she had a good idea how to get out. She would be all

business during the interview today so she could give her intuition a

chance to do its job. After she evaluated this woman’s proposal with

a cooler mind, she could send her recommendation to PR and be

done with Kaitlyn Brown. Follow up with a trip to one of Portland’s

gay bars, and she could find someone to help her take care of her

body’s needs. No problem. Balance restored.

❖

Kate watched the Mercedes idle in front of her farm. She had

expected Jamie to be early and had been ready for the visit for

over an hour. At least she thought she was ready. Now she saw her

barn through the coolly evaluating eyes of Jamie Callahan, and she

desperately wanted a few more weeks to prepare.

• 32 •

Worth the risk

The silver car came slowly up the driveway, and Kate saw how

out of place it looked on her property. Her farm was functional and

comfortable but not fancy. She was proud of her barn, but someone

like Jamie would never recognize the qualities Kate appreciated.

She would only see a ragged strip of grass lining the gravel drive

where Kate could picture her students chatting while they let their

horses graze after a lesson. Jamie would notice the old, repainted

jumps in the arena, while Kate remembered the paintingslashpizza

party when all of her clients came over to help her prepare for this

inspection. She hated the twinge of embarrassment she felt when

she considered her barn based on the opinion of a stranger.

She turned and walked deeper into the shadows of the barn

before Jamie’s car got closer. She picked up a pot of halfeaten

geraniums and shoved it in an empty stall. She had let her horse

nibble on this one attempt to decorate her barn while she had been

absently talking on her cell phone. She sighed as she latched the

stall door, defeated before the interview even started. She couldn’t

impress Jamie with a few flowers. She had to use facts, from the

height of the fences she jumped to the bottom line in her business

accounts. Her emotional attachment to her horses and riding meant

nothing, even though they were her strongest assets.

Kate zipped a worn pair of chaps over uncomfortably stiff new

jeans and boots. She had spent enough money for a month’s worth

of hay on new outfits for these meetings, so she had to make the

investment pay off. Pretending to be confident was as easy as putting

on the right clothes. Kate pulled her shoulders back and pushed her

doubts deep inside as she went out to meet Jamie.

❖

Jamie was early, on purpose, but Kaitlyn seemed to have been

expecting that and was on hand to greet her when she stepped out

of the car.

“Ms. Callahan, thank you for coming all this way,” Kaitlyn

said politely, reaching out to shake her hand.

• 33 •

karis Walsh

“We’re outside of the office, Kaitlyn. You can call me Jamie.”

Well, that was a good start on keeping a professional distance, Jamie

thought irritably.

“All right, Jamie. And most people call me Kate. Come on

inside and I’ll show you around.”

She turned to go into the barn and Jamie found herself staring

at an incredible ass. She had thought Kate was beautiful in her

business suit, but in jeans and a forestgreen polo shirt she was

stunning. Especially with those brown suede chaps that showed off

her round bottom to perfection. Jesus Christ, get a grip, she scolded

herself, dragging her eyes away from Kate’s rear end.

They walked out of the sunlight and into the barn aisle where a

stocky woman was grooming a large bay horse. Her short brown hair

showed a few streaks of gray, and she was casually dressed in faded

jeans and a plain white Tshirt. Jamie had intentionally dressed with

more formality than was required, in designer jeans and a pressed

pinstriped shirt, and she admitted she wanted to project an image of

control and distance. Any observer would recognize her as the one

who didn’t belong here. Kate looked at home in a barn, but she was

too carefully madeup and dressed for a regular ride and obviously

intended to impress Jamie. Kate’s friend was the only one who

didn’t appear to have an agenda, and she seemed perfectly at ease

around the horse and unconcerned by the game Jamie and Kate were

playing. She was like a stagehand walking onstage in the middle of

a play, and her presence disconcerted Jamie.

“This is my friend Myra Owens,” Kate introduced her. “She’s

here to help set jumps while I ride. And this is my horse Top

Echelon.”

Jamie shook hands with Myra and gave the horse an awkward

pat on the neck. She wasn’t much of an animal person, to Anna’s

chagrin, but she had a good eye for symmetry and beauty, and the

horse seemed to possess both of those qualities. She had seen the

horse’s name listed along with Kate’s at the top of local show results

during her research.

“So, why can’t you show this horse at the international level?”

she asked, fighting off a twinge of jealousy as she watched Kate and

• 34 •

Worth the risk

Myra work together to tack up the horse. They moved easily around

each other, touching casually like old friends. Jamie had no doubt

Myra was gay, but she was still unsure about Kate. The comfortable

way the two had with each other suggested they might be lovers,

and Jamie didn’t like the fact that she cared either way.

“He’s a great horse,” Kate started almost apologetically as she

rubbed the bay’s neck. “But he’s maxed out at five feet and really

is more comfortable jumping four foot six. The fences in Olympiclevel competitions will be over five feet high and wide.”

Kate tucked her hair into a black riding helmet and buckled the

strap under her chin. She seemed so calm talking about jumping, but

Jamie couldn’t imagine how insane you’d have to be to leap over

fences on an animal with a brain the size of a walnut. “Half a foot

makes such a big difference?” she asked. “Can’t you just train him

to jump higher?”

“Every horse has limits to its natural ability, and no matter

how much training Topper has, he’ll never be able to compete at the

same level as the stallion,” Kate said, shifting a little under Jamie’s

questioning. She was obviously more comfortable discussing her

own riding, or the stallion she proposed to buy, than the performance

of her own horse. “It’s the same with people. If I ran a hundred

meters, my time and that of a worldclass sprinter would be separated

by seconds, not minutes. But those seconds make a huge difference,

and I could train every day and never bridge that gap.”

Jamie shrugged. “Okay, I can see that. So those six inches add

up to several extra zeroes on the horse’s price tag.”

Kate nodded, looking relieved that Jamie had finally understood

her. She turned her attention to Topper’s bridle, and Jamie watched

her slender fingers as they adjusted the leather straps and straightened

out the horse’s black forelock. She had a quick vision of those hands

running over her own body, and she continued her interrogation in

an attempt to control her straying thoughts.

“So you’re bored with this horse, with this level of competition,”

she said in an unintentionally challenging voice. Kate stepped

between Jamie and her horse as if she were trying to protect him.

• 35 •

karis Walsh

“No, I love riding him. But if I want to move forward, I need a

horse with more talent and potential.”

“What do you mean by ‘move forward’?”

Jamie watched a slight frown crease Kate’s forehead, although

no such change of expression reached her eyes or her mouth. Jamie

sensed she had found a trigger here, and she felt a childish sense of

relief that she didn’t have to be the only one uncomfortable in this

situation. Her thoughts were too consumed with a desire to touch

Kate, and if it hadn’t been for Myra watching them with an amused

smile she might have tried to simply move in for a kiss instead of

challenging Kate verbally.

“If I want to advance to the next level,” Kate clarified.

Jamie waved a hand dismissively at Kate’s words. “You said

that already. I just want to know what it is specifically you’re

looking for. Is it the thrill of jumping bigger fences, or the fame, or

the money?”

“I don’t care if the jumps are two feet high or six feet,” Kate

said in a clear voice, not backing down from Jamie’s questions.

“As long as I know I rode well and got the best out of my horse,

I’m happy. But if I compete on the Grand Prix circuit, people will

know my name. I’ll have opportunities to teach, give clinics, train

horses…”

“I thought you already did all of those things,” Jamie observed,

gesturing at the stalls around them.

“Yes, but not on such a large scale.”

“Ah, I see,” Jamie said with a smile, backing away a step to

show her questioning was finished. “You’ll be able to make more

money than you do now. Why didn’t you just say that in the first

place?”

Kate glanced between Jamie and Myra, unsure whether she

should argue with Jamie’s conclusion or simply let the matter drop.

She didn’t mind talking about her ambitions and goals when she was

in Jamie’s impersonal office, but she had a difficult time pretending

to be indifferent while she stood next to Topper and dissected his

abilities and her small barn’s potential. Her dreams were about

more than simple dollar figures, but they didn’t matter to Jamie. She

• 36 •

Worth the risk

only cared if Kate was a financially sound investment for Davison

and Burke. Jamie had managed to bring the conversation back to

meaningless numbers, and Kate had to remember she was nothing

more than a column of projected earnings to her.

“Don’t worry,” Jamie said with a laugh, as if reading Kate’s

thoughts. “You didn’t just make a deal with the devil. There’s

nothing wrong with wanting to be financially successful. In fact, it’s

a trait I admire.”

Kate swallowed back her irrational desire to explain herself, to

convince Jamie there was more to her than a driving need for wealth

or fame. She didn’t need Jamie’s admiration—and she was angry

with herself for wanting it—but she did need her approval if she had

any chance of getting the sponsorship.

Jamie barely caught the glimpse of distaste on Kate’s face

before it was carefully masked again. She nodded at the horse. “Do

I get to see you ride today, or are we just going to stand around and

talk?”Kate turned without a word and led Topper down the barn aisle

with Myra at her side. Jamie followed the trio out into the sunshine,

watching with irritation as Myra took hold of Kate’s bent knee and

vaulted her into the saddle. They walked to the outdoor arena and

stood in the center of the ring while Kate trotted the horse around

to warm up.

“Don’t you usually bring a bright light to shine in someone’s

eyes when you interrogate them?” Myra asked casually as she

leaned against a jump standard.

“I’m just doing my job,” Jamie said, her voice neutral.

“Oh. So, does it actually say ‘bitch’ on your business cards?”

Jamie chose to ignore that comment. Myra was obviously

feeling protective toward Kate, but Jamie still wasn’t sure whether

it was simply because they were friends, or more than that. “Have

you and Kate known each other long?” Jamie asked, her eyes never

leaving Kate as she watched her canter some circles and figure eights.

“We’ve been good friends since high school,” Myra answered.

Jamie nodded, determined not to ask how good. “How good?”

Damn.

• 37 •

karis Walsh

Myra only laughed and gave her a shrug before she moved away

to set a small jump for Kate. Jamie watched the rest of the schooling

session in silence. Without knowing the technicalities of jumping,

she was unable to do more than appreciate Kate’s grace as she took

the horse over a series of gradually higher fences. They made it

look simple, and Jamie recognized that as an accomplishment in any

sport. She still felt frustrated at her inability to see past the detached,

impersonal façade Kate showed her, and it didn’t help to watch

Myra go out of her way to be teasing and intimate with Kate, laying

a hand on her thigh while they talked about the horse’s performance

and bringing up personal references that made them both laugh. She

figured most of it was an act, motivated by Myra’s realization that

Jamie had revealed a less than professional interest in Kate, but it

still upset her. She was used to being the enigma in any situation, not

the one who was too easy to read.

“Very nice. The two of you seemed comfortable together,”

Jamie said when Kate dismounted next to her. Her mind was still

wondering about Kate and Myra’s relationship, but the phrase

sounded as if it would work for the horse as well.

“I’ve had him for five years,” Kate said as she loosened her

horse’s girth and removed her riding helmet. She smoothed her

blond hair carefully. “I did most of his training.”

“Maybe your friend can take care of the horse while you show

me around?” Jamie suggested as they started back toward the barn.

“Oh, um…sure,” Kate said, turning to Myra. “Do you mind?”

Myra smirked at Jamie and reached for Topper’s reins. “Glad

to,” she said easily, taking Kate’s helmet. “Just stay out of the hay

barn,” she tossed over her shoulder with a grin.

Jamie glared at Myra’s back, fully understanding the halfjoking threat from one alpha female to another. As if a roll in the hay was what she had in mind. Although now that Myra had brought

it up…

“There’s nothing wrong with my hay barn,” Kate assured her

with a confused frown. “I’m not sure why she said that, but I’ll be

happy to show it to you if you want.”

• 38 •

Worth the risk

“Maybe later,” Jamie said, fighting back a grin. It would have

been more tempting if Kate had realized what she was offering.

Instead, they veered off to the left and came to a small barn. Each of

the stalls had a paddock attached.

“The stallion’s name is Guns Blazing,” Kate said as they walked

through the barn and into a large stall. “He’ll be out of quarantine in

about a week, and then he’ll come here to stay.”

Kate went on to explain how horses imported from Europe

were quarantined on arrival, and that the process was longer and

more involved for a mare or stallion that could be used for breeding

than for a gelding. Although Jamie had read about all of this while

doing her research, she let Kate talk without interrupting. Reading

about any subject rarely could compare with listening to someone

speak in the lingo and shorthand of an expert in the field.

“My old trainer is brokering the deal, and that’s why I’ve been

given first chance at him. If I can’t…If I don’t buy him, Marty will

board him here until he’s sold,” Kate said. She gestured toward the

open door leading out of the stall and into the sunshine. “I took out

a divider to make a double stall and raised the paddock fence a few

feet.”“Why the maximum security prison? Are you afraid he’ll jump

out?” Jamie asked, noticing that the fence was not only higher than

the others on the property, but it had been reinforced with extra

panels.

“Yes. I have several mares here as well,” Kate said with a shrug.

“If one of them comes in heat he might try to get to her.”

“Men,” Jamie said, rolling her eyes.

Kate joined in her laughter. “I know. That’s why I prefer them

gelded.”

Jamie met her eyes and they smiled at each other, sharing a

brief moment of camaraderie at odds with the antagonistic tone of

their earlier conversation. One question answered. But where did

she stand with Myra? Not that it was any of her concern.

Kate showed her around the rest of the property. She even

insisted on taking Jamie through the hay barn, as if she had to prove

she wasn’t running a sweatshop in there. They ended the tour in

• 39 •

karis Walsh

a lounge attached to the tack room. The walls were covered with

bright ribbons and pictures of Kate and her students riding in shows,

as well as posters of a funny cartoon horse. She pointed out some

of her students to Jamie, a hint of pride evident in her voice as she

listed their accomplishments.

“I’m taking some of my kids to a show on Saturday, if you’re

interested in coming to watch me compete,” Kate said. “I won’t be

jumping any higher than I did today, and it’s just a local show. But

if you have the time…”

“I’m free Saturday,” Jamie said. She usually spent her weekends

working, but after looking at the photos of Kate riding in those tight

breeches, with an expression of intent concentration on her face,

Jamie decided she could definitely make the time to see more of her.

“I’ll get the directions,” Kate said. She went over to a corner

of the lounge where she had a makeshift office and opened a drawer

in her file cabinet. Jamie was tempted to follow and peer over her

shoulder, but she walked around for a closer look at the pictures

instead.

“Did you draw these?” Jamie asked, stopping in front of one

of the posters. The horse was reeling around with an apparent

concussion after a fall, and the poster warned riders not to forget

their safety helmets.

“Yes,” Kate said with obvious embarrassment, as if she wished

she had removed the sketches before Jamie’s arrival. She handed

Jamie a schedule for the show. “They’re silly, but the kids like

them. Here are directions to the show grounds, and I’ve circled my

classes. Just find the show office when you get there, and they’ll tell

you where my horses are stabled.”

Jamie accepted the paper and the change in subject. She

nearly asked Kate to draw a horse for Anna’s room, but she quickly

censored the idea. Those were two worlds that shouldn’t meet, so

she changed the subject instead.

“We still have a ways to go before we reach a decision about

your proposal, but you have a nice place here and you seem capable

of taking good care of the horse you want,” Jamie said. Against

her better judgment, she cast about for something to say to help

• 40 •

Worth the risk

her break through to a more personal side of Kate. This distant,

collected woman didn’t seem to belong in a barn that had walls

covered with photos and handmade posters. “I’ll bet your students

will enjoy having such a highcaliber horse around the barn.”

“Not for long,” Kate said. “I’d keep him here for a couple of

months until I can sell the farm, then we’ll head to Florida for the

winter circuit. After that, I’ll be traveling most of the time and will

probably be based somewhere on the East Coast.”

Jamie looked at her in surprise. “But you said you wanted a

chance to ride this horse so you could make a name for yourself as a

trainer and teacher. I thought you wanted to expand on what you’re

doing here.”

“Well, I do,” Kate said, some discomfort showing through

her carefully composed expression. “But my students only ride in

local shows. I’ll be able to teach at a higher level on the East Coast.

The move won’t hurt Davison and Burke’s publicity, though, since

the stallion and I will always be listed in programs as being from

Portland.”

“What about your horse?”

“Topper? He’s for sale, too. I’ve had some interest in him

already, but nothing’s worked out yet.”

Jamie suspected that for a more motivated seller, those deals

would have worked out just fine. “So you’re giving up all of this and

starting from scratch with the stallion?”

Kate frowned and looked around, refusing to meet Jamie’s eyes.

“I’ll miss this place, but I can’t pass up the chance to be successful

on a level I just can’t reach from here.”

Jamie heard a waver in her voice, a brief slip into a Southern

drawl. She stepped closer, unsure whether she was drawn to the small

sign of weakness or if she felt compelled to offer some comfort.

Kate turned toward her again and her eyes widened as if surprised

to find Jamie standing close to her. It was too easy to reach over

and trail a finger down a strand of blond hair that had worked its

way out of Kate’s ponytail, to let the same finger trace along Kate’s

flushed cheekbone. Jamie watched as Kate struggled to maintain her

composure, but although she could keep the distant iciness etched

• 41 •

karis Walsh

over her pale features, she couldn’t hide the emotions flickering in

her green eyes. Jamie leaned closer and frowned as she saw the

subtle shifts in Kate’s expression.

“You don’t want to go,” she said in surprise.

Kate shook her head slightly. “There are always sacrifices. But

I want this.”

“Be careful what you ask for,” Jamie warned as she lowered

her mouth toward Kate’s.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were having a business meeting in

here,” Myra said from the doorway. Jamie didn’t move, but Kate

scurried a few steps away from her.

“We were having a private conversation,” Jamie said coldly.

“It’s all right, Myra,” Kate said, her cheeks bright red but her

voice calm and devoid of any hint of a drawl. “I was just telling

Jamie about my plans to move back east.”

Myra settled her shoulder against the wall and crossed her

arms. “Then you don’t mind if I hang out and listen. Your move

affects me, too, you know.”

“Actually I need to get going,” Jamie said stiffly. “Thanks for

showing me around, Kate. I’ll see you on Saturday.”

❖

“Damn,” Kate sputtered when she heard Jamie’s car door slam

shut. Her eyes filled with unshed tears as she walked down the barn

aisle toward her horse, leaving Myra behind.

“Hey, sorry I interrupted back there,” Myra said when she

finally caught up. She peered closer at Kate who was leaning against

Topper’s side. “Are you crying? What did she do to you?”

“She didn’t do anything, but I did. I just blew my chance at her

bank’s money.”

“How?” Myra asked, running a brush over Topper’s sleek coat.

“It looked like the two of you were getting along quite well.”

Kate shook her head. The memory of Jamie’s touch still

burned. Once again she had felt a ridiculous urge to let her feelings

show without monitoring her every word and move. “I let down my

• 42 •

Worth the risk

defenses a little bit and she could see I have mixed feelings about

leaving here.”

“Of course you do,” Myra said soothingly. “You love your

students and it’s only natural you’ll miss them. Your Miz Callahan

can’t be such an uncaring freak she’d hold that against you.”

Kate smiled briefly at Myra’s drawn out Ms. “If she has any

doubt and thinks I’m not fully committed to this…”

“No one could, Kate.” Myra assured her. “What did she mean

about seeing you on Saturday?”

“She’s coming to watch me ride in the show this weekend, so I

guess you’re right to say she hasn’t turned me down yet.”

Myra laughed. “She’s not likely to turn you down no matter

what you offer.”

“Did she say anything to you about the sponsorship?”

“Not about that, but she was fishing for information about you.

She wanted to know if we’re lovers.”

“She asked that?” Kate asked in disbelief.

“Not in so many words, but it’s what she meant,” Myra said,

cleaning Topper’s hoof with a metal pick.

“Very funny. You’ve seen the way she looks at me. There’s no

way she’d think of me like that.”

Myra stood up and faced Kate. “How exactly does she look at

you?”Kate shrugged. For a moment, she had thought Jamie was

looking at her with desire, but it was only in her imagination. She

was letting her own attraction color what she saw, and she knew

Jamie had no interest in her beyond her PR value. “Like I’m not

worth her time. Compared with the other investments her company

makes, the money I need is insignificant.”

Myra moved on to Topper’s next hoof and bent to clean it. “Just

because she deals with multimilliondollar investments doesn’t

mean she has that kind of money herself. And yes, I saw her car

and clothes, so I don’t think she’s broke. But her interest in you has

nothing to do with dollar signs.”

Kate shook her head with a sigh. “You heard her. For people

like Jamie Callahan, everything is about dollar signs. I just need to

• 43 •

karis Walsh

make her believe I fit in that world. It’s the only way I can convince

her I deserve the sponsorship, that I can handle it.”

“Right. Because there’s no way a woman would be into you for

any other reason. It’s not like you’re beautiful or smart or funny.”

“Say what you want, Myra,” Kate said as she unclipped Topper

from the crossties so she could lead him out to a paddock. “Our

interest in each other is only business, not personal.”

“And that’s why she’s calling you Kate and not Kaitlyn?

The only people who call you that besides me are your students.

Everyone who matters to you calls you by your legal name.”

Although she said it in a joking tone, Kate knew Myra meant

what she said. She stopped walking and laid her hand on her best

friend’s arm. “You matter to me. You know that, don’t you?”

“In a way. But you want to move in a certain social circle and

you think Kate doesn’t fit in there. Neither does Myra, but at least

she doesn’t give a damn.”

“My mom always hated it when people called me Kate Brown,”

Kate finally admitted with a small laugh as she turned Topper loose.

“She said it was too pedestrian and the right people would never

take me seriously.”

“Well, Jamie didn’t seem to find anything wrong with your

name. And judging by the focus of her attention, she was pretty

impressed with your ass as well.”

Kate burst out laughing at the ludicrous suggestion that Jamie

Callahan might think of her at all that way. She figured Myra’s

teasing was only meant to take her mind off the interview, and she

squeezed her friend’s shoulder in appreciation as they headed back

to the barn.

❖

Jamie was still absorbed in work when Jenn came into her

office after five. She had restaurant trade journals scattered over her

desk, and she was busily scratching out notes on a legal pad. Jenn

cleared her throat twice before Jamie glanced up.

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Worth the risk

“Hey, Jenn,” Jamie said, rubbing a hand over her eyes. She had

spent the past few hours trying to get a grasp of the industry’s trends

so she could better predict the earning potential of a new Indian

restaurant. She handed her assistant a stack of yellow pages filled

with scrawled handwriting. “Can you type these up for me?”

Jenn didn’t even reach for the papers. “No. It’s time to go home

now.”“Okay, tomorrow then,” she said, not bothering to check her

watch. She waved the notes until Jenn took them with a sigh.

Jenn flipped through the pages and squinted as she tried to read

the hastily written words. “Why can’t you type your notes like a

normal twenty-first-century person?”

Jamie tapped her pen against her temple. “I can’t type fast

enough to keep up with this,” she said, her attention wandering back

to her work even as she spoke.

“Well, you apparently can’t write fast enough either,” Jenn

commented with a frown.

“Just be grateful I doublecheck my own math and don’t make

you decipher the numbers,” Jamie said. She flipped through a couple

of pages in a journal before she registered the fact that Jenn was still

standing by her desk. “You’re still here.”

“So are you. Why don’t you go home to your family and finish

this later?”

Jamie rolled her eyes at the overbearing tone Jenn always

assumed when she was about to give a lecture. “I have to make up

for the time I was out of the office this morning. I promise I’ll leave

in a few minutes. Now go home and enjoy your evening.”

“A few minutes means a few hours once you lose track of time.”

“Look, Jenn, I’ll leave when I’m finished. I have to go watch a

horse show this weekend, so I need to get through these journals in

order to be ready for next week’s meeting with Mr. Sanjiv. And why

am I explaining myself to you?”

“A horse show,” Jenn said with a smile, leaning her hip

casually on Jamie’s desk and ignoring Jamie’s raised eyebrow at her

insolence. “Sounds like fun.”

“Not fun. Work.”

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karis Walsh

“Another meeting with Ms. Brown, hmm? She certainly

is beautiful and she seems confident enough not to take any crap

from—”

“That’s enough,” Jamie said sharply, only making Jenn’s smile

broader. “Kate is a potential client, nothing more.”

“Oh, Kate means nothing to you personally. Good to hear it,”

Jenn said with a laugh as she stood up.

Jamie sighed. “Can you get Elaine on the line before you go?”

she asked.

“Call her yourself,” Jenn said as she shut the door.

• 46 •

Worth the risk

Chapter Four

Before sunrise Saturday morning, Kate stood on a step

stool and swiped a wet sponge over her hunter’s mane,

preparing her for the show. The mare shook her head, annoyed by

the water dripping down her neck, and Kate unsuccessfully tried

to shield herself from the spray. She rubbed the cold water off her

face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt and tossed the sponge into a

bucket. She and her students were huddled along the edge of the

temporary stabling, using its weak lighting as they braided their

horses’ manes in the predawn darkness. Mumbled conversations,

the buzz of insects, and the occasional stomp of a horse’s hoof were

the only sounds Kate could hear. She loved the earlymorning quiet

of horse show days, even today with the threat of Jamie’s attendance

hanging over her. While her horses and students were calm and

barely awake, and she only felt the chaos of the upcoming show

as a hint of anticipation, Kate could almost block the sensation of

Jamie’s presence from her mind.

Almost. She separated a section of mane with coldnumbed

fingers and plaited it tightly halfway down the hair before she added

a piece of black yarn and finished the braid. She fought back the

image of Jamie’s finger trailing along the loosened strand of her

own hair. Just five more braids and she would take a break for

some coffee. She still couldn’t believe she had asked Jamie to come

today. She had gotten caught up in stories about her students, and

the invitation had just popped out. She’d tried to take it back, to let

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karis Walsh

Jamie know the little show wasn’t worth her time, but it had been

too late. She glanced down the aisle at her young riders. They were

calm and well behaved now, still groggy and sleep deprived, but

their energy level would rise with the sun. She didn’t know how she

would be able to control them, ride her own horses, and still have

time to impress Jamie.

She drained the last of her coffee and returned to braiding. The

mare dozed while Kate tied the braids into small knots along the crest

of the horse’s neck. Kate was relieved she didn’t have to do the same

to Topper since his jumper classes were scored only on performance

and not on appearance. He hated to stand still for long, and he would

have frayed Kate’s nerves more than they were already. She needed

to convince Jamie she was good enough for the sponsorship, but

more than that, she wanted to impress her for reasons that were

entirely too personal. She had a quick vision of finishing a successful

round on Topper and having Jamie congratulate her with a hug. Kate

shook her head as vigorously as her mare had, trying to dislodge

the image. She might need to dump the bucket of cold water over

herself if she couldn’t remove the distracting thoughts. She snipped

the loose ends of yarn off the neat row of braids and returned the

mare to her stall. Her priority was the sponsorship. Everyone and

everything else had to take second place.

❖

“I’m sorry, but I thought I told you about this last week,”

Elaine said calmly as she wiped down the table after their Saturday

breakfast. She tucked a wisp of gray hair back into her neat bun,

refusing to meet Jamie’s angry gaze, and carried the last of the

serving dishes into the kitchen.

Jamie followed closely on her heels, a stack of syrupy plates in

her hands. “And I told you I have to work today. Can’t you change

your plans?”

Elaine sighed as she started to rinse the dishes. “Usually I

could, but my sister’s been looking forward to my visit. She hasn’t

been well, you know.”

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Worth the risk

“Exactly what’s wrong with her?” Jamie asked skeptically.

“Gout,” Elaine answered without hesitating.

“Liar,” Jamie muttered under her breath, making Elaine turn

away from the dishwasher she was loading and put her fists on her

hips.“I heard that,” she said sternly. “Shall I get her doctor to write

a note as proof?”

“Yes,” Jamie said, leaning against the marble counter with

her arms crossed over her chest. Elaine had moved in three years

ago, soon after Anna had come there to live, and Jamie was grateful

enough to have found her that she was willing to put up with Elaine’s

routine comments about her workaholic tendencies. But this obvious

deception was pushing things too far, and Jamie didn’t have time to

deal with it today.

“Anna won’t be a problem. She can bring some books and

games with her. You won’t even know she’s in your office.”

“You know damned well I won’t be in the office today,” Jamie

said through gritted teeth, keeping her voice low in case Anna was

in earshot. “I don’t know when you and Jenn cooked this up, but I’m

not going to put up with it today. You have to stay here with Anna.”

“Or what? You’ll fire me? Go ahead.”

The two women stared at each other for several seconds.

“Fuck,” Jamie said finally, giving in. Elaine was trying to force her

to take Anna to the horse show, and there wasn’t anything she could

do about it. Jamie needed her, and she knew it.

“I certainly hope you won’t use that kind of language around

Anna,” Elaine remarked as Jamie stomped out of the kitchen.

❖

“Can we put the top down?” Anna asked once Jamie had

buckled her into the backseat of the Mercedes.

“Maybe on the way home,” Jamie said as she got in and

fastened her own seat belt. “We’re going to be on the freeway, and I

don’t want us to look too windblown when we get there.”

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karis Walsh

Anna accepted Jamie’s response with her usual stoicism,

apparently too thrilled about the prospect of spending time with her

aunt at a horse show to let one small disappointment ruin the day.

Jamie started the engine and backed out of the driveway, glancing

at her niece in the rearview mirror as they drove out of the condo’s

parking lot. Anna’s strawberryblond hair was a few shades lighter

than Jamie’s, and her eyes were as blue as her mother’s had been.

Today, they were lit up with excitement, and Jamie’s heart constricted

as she turned her gaze to the road ahead. What she wouldn’t give to

be driving Anna to a show so she could ride her own pony instead of

having to watch from the sidelines.

She tried to come up with a way to strike up a conversation,

but nothing came to mind, so she stayed quiet. Anna seemed fine

with that, accustomed to the silence on the rare occasions she and

Jamie were alone together. Elaine and Jenn might think Jamie

should spend more time with Anna, but they didn’t understand

the pain she felt every time she looked at her niece. Grief when

she saw the echo of her lost sister in Anna’s eyes, guilt over the

role she had played in Sara’s accident, an infuriating inability to

ever make things right for her niece. She paid for the best doctors,

private schools, and presents for Anna, but those things could never

ease her pain. She needed something more, but Jamie didn’t have

anything besides money to give. She felt her inadequacy in every

interaction. Anna needed to spend less time with her, not more. She

was better off in Elaine’s comforting presence, no matter what the

older woman believed.

Jamie easily found the show grounds, but it took a few minutes

of driving among the horse trailers before she spotted a convenient

parking space. By that time, Anna was almost bouncing on her seat

in anticipation. When Jamie reached into the back to pick her up, she

threw her arms around her aunt’s neck in a rare show of affection.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” she whispered, her voice

filled with gratitude over the outing Jamie had spent the morning

fighting to avoid. Jamie busied herself with the process of getting

Anna settled in her wheelchair so she could hide the sudden sting of

pain she felt at Anna’s simple touch.

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Worth the risk

“Be careful on the gravel,” she said roughly as she pushed Anna’s

chair along the rutted path. She hoped her niece would think it was

just her customary gruffness, and not raw emotion, thickening her

voice. As she had expected, the show grounds weren’t designed to be

convenient for a person in a wheelchair, and the constant maneuvering

around piles of horse manure and thick tufts of grass was tricky.

They avoided most of the horse traffic and eventually found the

show office. It was housed in a single-wide with wooden steps, so

Jamie wheeled Anna to a shady spot and set her brake.

“I need to ask where my client’s horses are stabled,” she said.

“You stay right here and wait for me, and then we can go watch the

show.”

Anna nodded at her then turned her attention back to the large

animals and their welldressed riders moving back and forth in the

open area between the office and the rows of temporary stalls. Jamie

glanced over her shoulder as she walked toward the trailer. Anna

looked so small and helpless in her chair and her pink Tshirt with

a picture of a horse nosing a striped cat. Jamie felt uncomfortable

leaving her alone and she hurried up the steps to the office.

She was out again in a matter of seconds, with directions to

Kate’s location, but Anna had moved from her protected spot under

the trees. She had apparently given in to the temptation of the

beautiful animals and was wheeling her way across the gravel while

Jamie jogged toward her. A gray horse shied away from the metal

chair, nearly unseating his rider.

“Watch it, kid!” the girl shouted angrily, jerking on her reins

and glaring at Anna. “Get that chair away from the horses.”

Jamie could see Anna’s face turn red with embarrassment as

she tried to turn her wheelchair quickly on the loose gravel. The

movement only brought her face to face with another horse that

snorted in fear at the unaccustomed sight.

“Hey, you shouldn’t be out here,” a man said rudely, moving

the nervous horse out of Anna’s way.

Anna aimed toward the back of the stabling area, leaving Jamie

to glower at the riders who had dared yell at her niece. “What the

hell do you think you’re doing, screaming at a little girl like that?”

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karis Walsh

“She’s scaring the horses,” the man said with a shrug, leading

his horse in the opposite direction.

“And that gives you the right to yell at a child?” Jamie called

after him. She wanted to go kick his scrawny ass, but she saw Anna

turn the corner and head behind the last row of stalls, so she rushed

after her. She came around the end of the barn and skidded to a halt.

Anna was on a collision course with Kate, and Jamie pulled back

into the shadows so she could watch and see what happened. She

was so furious, she hoped Kate would say something rude to Anna

so she could scream at her, tell her to take her milliondollar dream

horse and go to hell.

Kate was holding Topper’s reins as she tightened the girth on

his saddle when she noticed the wheelchair heading her way. She

held out a hand to stop the little girl.

“Whoa there,” she said, squatting so they were at eye level.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

“I was in the way. My chair scared the horses.”

“Well, some of these prissy show horses are scared of anything

new,” Kate said, keeping her voice steady when all she wanted to

do was take her riding crop to the people who had made the girl cry.

“I’m Kate. What’s your name?”

“Anna.”

Kate brought her horse a little closer. “Anna, do you want to

meet Topper? He’s not afraid of wheelchairs, but he might maul you

looking for a treat.”

She watched Anna’s expression shift from wariness to delight

as the gentle horse nuzzled her hands. Kate had seen similar

transformations, hundreds of times, but she got choked up whenever

she watched such a powerful reaction to a horse. She dug a sugar

cube out of the pocket of her breeches and showed Anna how to

hold it for Topper.

Jamie sagged against the stable wall as she listened to Anna’s

giggles ring out. She tried to get control of her response as she

watched the elegant woman, with her beautifully fitted show clothes

and her whiteblond hair in a neat bun, kneel on the ground next

• 52 •

Worth the risk

to her niece. The two laughed together as Kate helped Anna feed

Topper a lump of sugar.

“I love horses,” Anna said in a normal voice as she stroked the

bay’s nose. “I wish I could ride one.”

“Maybe you could someday,” Kate started, making Jamie snap

to attention and stride out of her hiding place. “I teach—”

“Anna,” Jamie interrupted in a clipped voice. “Go back to the

car and wait for me.”

“But Aunt Jamie…”

“Now. Go.” She waited until Anna had said goodbye to Kate

and Topper in a low voice and wheeled herself down the aisle. “How

dare you say something like that to her,” she said in a dangerous

tone. She watched Kate’s mossy green eyes widen in concern.

“I didn’t mean—”

“Didn’t mean to tell her she might be able to ride a horse

someday? Didn’t mean to imply her spine might magically heal

itself and she’ll be able to use her legs again?”

“Jamie, please listen,” Kate started, reaching toward her, but

Jamie backed away in the direction Anna had taken.

“How dare you hurt her like that?” Jamie wanted to say more,

wanted desperately to say something to make her anger disappear,

to make Anna healthy again. But there were no words to do either

one. She gestured helplessly with her hands and walked away from

Kate.The drive home seemed endless, and the lowered convertible

top and a fast food burger and milkshake weren’t enough to shake

Anna’s depressed mood. Jamie finally gave up, and they went home

and to their separate rooms. There wasn’t anything she could buy

Anna that would make it better, and nothing she could say to herself

would ease the disappointment of discovering Kate’s insensitivity.

She had been drawn to Kate against her better judgment and had

foolishly moved close enough to get hurt.

• 53 •

• 54 •

Worth the risk

Chapter Five

Jamie sat back in her chair and tried not to fidget while the

nervous waiter moved dishes around to make room on her

table. She had ordered everything on the menu at the Taj Mahal

so she could better gauge the restaurant’s chance of making it as a

chain. The kid’s hands were shaking so badly he nearly upended her

water glass with a platter of chicken tikka masala. Jamie snatched

the glass out of the way just in time.

“Why don’t you bring the rest out later,” Jamie said, working to

keep her voice calm so she didn’t snap at the young man. He nodded

and left her with a table full of steaming food. When she’d told the

owner she wanted to try a little of everything, she had assumed he

would send out small samples of the various dishes. Instead, she had

fullsized portions of each menu item. Jamie sighed and speared a

piece of chicken, ignoring the curious stares of the other patrons.

She still was too angry to have much appetite after the weekend’s

fiasco, and she should have had Jenn cancel this appointment. She

had only come because she knew the owner had planned ahead to

have her meal ready.

In truth, she admitted to herself, she’d needed to get out of

her office. She had spent the morning pacing, for once not working

or even thinking about work. Instead, her mind still fumed about

Anna’s experience at the horse show. All of Jamie’s anger had

focused on Kate Brown, and she wanted nothing more than to drive

over to that woman’s barn and personally deny her sponsorship

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karis Walsh

application. But if she admitted her personal feelings were in

control of her business decisions, then she would be letting Kate

win. She’d send the application back to the PR department without

a recommendation one way or the other. Someone else could handle

it. Her lack of endorsement would be enough to guarantee its denial

without making her appear responsible.

She tossed some rice onto her plate with more force than

necessary, the loud clink of the serving spoon drawing everyone’s

eyes to her once again. She didn’t need to take her frustration out

on the restaurant’s plates, so she took a deep breath and told herself

to relax. She had finally been forced to leave her home last night

since she couldn’t stand Elaine’s constant trips between Anna’s

room, where she tried to comfort the crying girl, and Jamie’s den

where she repeatedly apologized for her plot to send the two to the

show together. After an awkward attempt by Jamie to talk to her

niece, she gave up and headed into the city and the first bar she

came across. She had spotted a likely candidate—dark hair, lovely

olive skin, curvaceous figure—having a couple of drinks with co-

workers, and she started her usual seduction routine. She initiated a

physical connection, made eye contact, then walked away in order

to let her target think she was making the first move. Jamie could

sense the woman following her as she made her way through the

crowd, but instead of slowing her stride to allow herself to be caught,

she dropped her glass on a table and walked quickly out of the bar.

She got in her car without a backward glance and sped off toward

the freeway. She spent the next couple of hours driving aimlessly

along Portland’s highway system, her Mercedes obliging her need

to push every turn faster than she should. The release from a casual

sexual encounter would have been more satisfying, and probably

safer, but Jamie realized she couldn’t subject a stranger to the anger

simmering just below her smooth surface.

The bells on the door jingled, breaking Jamie out of her trance,

and she looked up to see Kate entering the restaurant. She forced

aside the brief rush of pleasure at seeing Kate and refocused instead

on her earlier anger. Jenn must have told her where Jamie was eating

lunch—and probably drew her a goddamned map to the restaurant—

• 56 •

Worth the risk

even after Jamie had explicitly told her she didn’t want to see or talk

to Kate today. Now she would have to fire the best assistant she had

ever had.

“What the hell do you want?” Jamie asked coldly as Kate

marched up to her and slammed a pamphlet down on the only

patch of empty table she could find. Jamie refused to look at it,

maintaining relentless eye contact with Kate. Her ivory skin looked

more pale than normal and there were dark circles under her eyes.

Jamie was irritated she even noticed those things, let alone that she

felt a twinge of compassion for the woman.

“Read it,” Kate demanded rather loudly, gesturing at the

brochure. Jamie again detected a slight Southern drawl in the

woman’s angry voice. She opened her mouth to refuse, but Kate

repeated herself more softly. “Please. Read it.”

Jamie looked at the cover photo and then, after a quick glance

at Kate, skimmed through the information about the North American

Riding for the Handicapped Association. When she finished she ran

a hand wearily over her eyes and swore under her breath.

“I run an accredited therapeutic riding program at my barn,”

Kate said. “When I told your niece she might be able to ride, that’s

what I meant.”

“I thought…”

“I know,” Kate said gently. “You were angry because Anna had

been hurt by what those other riders said, and you took it out on me

without giving me a chance to explain.”

“Yes,” Jamie admitted. “And I’m sorry.”

“Well, good,” Kate said, crossing her arms over her chest. She

seemed unsure of what to do now that Jamie had apologized.

“Sit down.” Kate hesitated, so Jamie stood and pulled out a

chair for her. “You came all this way to yell at me, you might as

well sit.”

Kate dropped into the chair, keeping her back well away from

Jamie’s hands as she scooted closer to the table. Going from anger

to guilt to a perverse relief that Kate wasn’t the evil bitch she had

thought was a bit much to process, so Jamie returned to her seat

and just watched Kate for a moment while her mind struggled to

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karis Walsh

catch up with her emotions. She was caught by surprise at how

much she had really wanted there to be more to Kate than ambition

and cold poise. She had felt betrayed when she thought the glimpse

of warmth and kindness had been false, but now it seemed more

dangerous to know that was the real Kate. How much harder would

it be to ignore her attraction if she had to acknowledge it might be

more than physical?

Jamie forced her mind away from those emotions, focusing

instead on physical details while she struggled to control her

thoughts. She observed Kate with an objective eye. Even though

this wasn’t a business meeting and Kate had obviously been upset

by their encounter over the weekend, Jamie noted she was carefully

dressed as if she were coming for an interview. The beige slacks and

silky lilac shell made her look distant and professional even as her

eyes flashed with heat that showed she obviously cared about the

work she was doing. Jamie wondered if she would spend their entire

professional relationship misreading this woman.

Jamie finally broke the silence, reaching for a piece of naan and

gesturing for the waiter. “Have some food. There’s plenty.”

The waiter appeared with an empty plate which he simply

handed to Kate since there wasn’t room on the table. Jamie sighed

and juggled the dishes, reorganizing the table so Kate wouldn’t have

to eat off her lap.

“This all smells good,” Kate said politely as she took a small

scoop of lentils.

Jamie laughed at her attempt to make the gluttonous lunch

seem socially acceptable. “The owner wants us to invest in a second

restaurant. I wanted to try his food.”

“Oh, good,” Kate said with apparent relief. “I didn’t want to be

rude. Couldn’t he have just sent out a little bit of everything?”

“There’s a thought,” Jamie said sarcastically. She waved

around the room at the other diners who were watching the pair

surreptitiously. “But that would have lacked the entertainment value

of this feast. Your little scene helped as well.”

They ate quietly for a few minutes while Jamie tried to wrap

her mind around the fact that just this morning she had wanted to

• 58 •

Worth the risk

kill Kate Brown, and now they were sitting down to lunch like old

friends.

“Do you mind if I ask what happened to Anna?” Kate asked.

Jamie leaned back and folded her arms. “It was a few years

ago,” she began awkwardly. This wasn’t something she discussed

with people unconnected to Anna’s medical team. “My sister took a

turn too fast and ran her car into the median on the freeway. She was

killed instantly, and Anna’s lower spine was fractured. She spent the

first year in and out of the hospital and she’s had several surgeries.”

Jamie left it at that, without filling in the rest of the gaps.

Without saying Sara had come over asking Jamie for money again,

using Anna as her pawn to make Jamie pay. Without saying she and

Sara had gotten into a screaming fight, and that was why she had

driven off in anger, too fast, out of control. Anna was only six, frail

and helpless in her hospital bed, when Jamie had needed to step in

as a mother. She had given up wondering why the universe kept

forcing her into the role when she was such a failure at it.

“Has she lived with you since then?” Kate asked, her food

untouched as she listened to Jamie.

“Yes. There wasn’t a father in the picture. Actually, there were

several candidates, but I don’t think even Sara knew which one was

really Anna’s dad,” Jamie said, her matteroffact tone glossing over

the nights spent worrying about her sister, the failed attempts to talk

her out of her wild ways and poor decisions. “I legally adopted Anna

three years ago.”

Kate seemed aware of Jamie’s reluctance to continue the

personal side of their discussion, as she turned the conversation back

to the therapy program while she filled her plate with food. “Riding

can be very beneficial for people with partial paralysis. The muscles

used to stabilize the upper body while they’re riding are similar to

those used when we walk. Plus riding, just being around horses, is

very…healing. The emotional breakthroughs are often greater than

the physical ones.”

Jamie moved the brochure around the table’s edge with a

fingertip. The thought of Anna on a horse without any control over

her own body scared the shit out of her. She couldn’t do much to

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karis Walsh

help her niece, but at least she could keep her relatively safe in the

confined world of her condo. “I’m sure it’s helpful to some kids,

but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for Anna. It doesn’t sound very

sensible.”

“There’s always some danger when it comes to horses and

riding, I won’t lie to you about that. But the rewards, the sense

of freedom, are worth it,” Kate said, in between bites of curried

cauliflower. “All I’m asking is for you to think about it and talk to

Anna’s doctor. Just don’t discount the idea right away. You saw how

happy she was just to be around Topper.”

“I promise I’ll consider the idea,” Jamie said. That was all she

was prepared to offer.

“This guy really can cook,” Kate observed, shifting the

conversation as she took a second serving of tandoori chicken. Once

again, she’d moved away from a subject Jamie deemed closed. Kate

gestured toward another dish. “What’s that one? Beef or lamb?”

“I have no idea,” Jamie said, watching Kate lick sauce off her

fingers. Her mouth suddenly felt dry and she took a drink of water.

“When’s the last time you ate?”

“Must have been early Saturday,” Kate answered with a pointed

look. “Something upset me and I lost my appetite.”

“You seem to have found it again,” Jamie observed. Now that

her anger had blown over, Jamie moved on to the next pressing topic

on her mind. “Since we’re asking personal questions, what’s the

deal with you and Myra?”

Kate hesitated, her fork halfway to her mouth. “Myra? She’s

my best friend. Why do you ask?”

Jamie shrugged nonchalantly and busied herself by serving

them each some fragrant potatoes. “I was just curious. She said you

leaving town affected her as well, and I thought she might be going

with you. As your lover?”

Kate choked on a bite of food and drank some water before she

answered. “No. Myra and I met in high school when her softball

team came to play and I was a cheerleader. We got caught kissing

under the bleachers and the principal called in our parents. God, it

was humiliating.”

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Worth the risk

Jamie smiled. “Was that your first time being with another

girl?”“Yes. I guess I had known I liked girls for some time, but it was

the first time I acted on my feelings. It was all over school by the

next day. Not exactly how I would have planned on telling people.”

“How did your parents react?”

Kate laughed and leaned back in her chair. “I remember sitting

in the principal’s office while he told them what happened. I could

tell they were furious, and I thought it was because they had just

found out their daughter was gay. It wasn’t until the ride home that

I learned they were angry because I was kissing someone from a

public school whose parents didn’t have any money or influence.”

Jamie laughed out loud. “You’re kidding.”

“I’m serious. I remember Mom saying, ‘I think the Wyckoffs’

daughter is a lesbian. Why couldn’t you date someone like her?’”

Kate’s smile faded slightly. “The sad thing is, I did eventually

date Judy Wyckoff. She was home from prep school for the summer

and I managed to be everywhere she was. We inevitably hooked up.

Myra and I stayed friends, at least, but never more than that.”

“Do you always do what your parents want?”

Kate shrugged lightly, her expression indicating the subject

should be closed. “I was young,” she said simply. “And I liked Judy.

It didn’t seem wrong to spend time with her and get invited to be

with the incrowd. I don’t use people like that anymore, of course.”

“Now it’s just horses. Topper is your new Myra, and the stallion

is Judy Wyckoff,” Jamie observed casually as she ate. She glanced

up to see Kate looking at her with a shocked expression, and she

hurried to apologize. “I’m sorry, that was rude. I have a habit of

looking for patterns. It’s not the same thing at all.”

Kate accepted the apology with her usual grace, although

Jamie’s observation hurt. It echoed the guilty thoughts Kate had

been having since she had made the decision to sell Topper and

leave her farm. After a brief moment she closed off the emotions

Jamie had obviously been able to read too clearly and returned to a

light conversational tone. “What about you? That’s the lesbian deal,

isn’t it? I share my first-time story and you share yours.”

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karis Walsh

Jamie’s gaze remained direct, but she shifted slightly in her

chair and reached out to straighten her already perfectly parallel

silverware. Kate recognized those subtle signs of discomfort, and

under normal circumstances, she would have changed the subject of

conversation. She chose to ignore Jamie’s hints this time. She had

been interrogated and scrutinized by Jamie throughout their short

relationship, and turnabout was fair play. She enjoyed making Jamie

as uncomfortable as she herself felt.

“I was twelve when my mom caught me playing a game of

truth or dare with a neighbor girl,” Jamie said. “We were just kids,

so it was pretty innocent, but there was an obvious sexual element.

She flipped and told my stepdad to punish me.”

“What did he do?” Kate asked quietly, not sure she wanted to

hear the answer. She had expected a Don Juantype seduction story

from Jamie. Not this.

Jamie only shrugged. “More than she had expected, I guess. It

didn’t work, though. I still like girls.” She winked at Kate, her tone

changing from intimate to casually flirting.

“Girlfriend?”

“I date…briefly,” Jamie said.

“I see,” Kate said with a slow nod. “Nothing serious, I take it.

Has there ever been someone?” Jamie shifted more noticeably in

her chair, but Kate didn’t care if her question made Jamie squirm.

For some reason, she wanted reassurance that Jamie was capable of

being in love. For Anna’s sake, Kate told herself. Not because Kate

was beginning to feel like she was on a date with a very attractive

woman. And talking about sex.

“I had been seeing someone for a few months, but it ended after

Anna’s accident. Theresa couldn’t handle all the changes.”

“Really?” Kate asked, surprised. “Anna seems so sweet. How

could anyone look at that little girl and not care about her?”

“Well, they never actually met,” Jamie said. “Anna was so

vulnerable then, and I didn’t want her to get close to someone since

the relationship was bound to end anyway.”

Kate didn’t respond, reading between the lines of the story. She

could only imagine the pain of losing a sister and watching Anna

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struggle through her recovery. Jamie had probably pushed her lover

away to protect her own heart from the threat of further loss, not just

Anna’s.

Neither of them seemed interested in opening up any more

conversational channels, so they finished their lunch without

speaking. Kate eventually glanced at her watch and sighed. “I really

should be going now. My parents are coming over this afternoon.

Thank you for lunch. It was…nice.”

Jamie stood when Kate did, as reluctant to see Kate leave

as she had been angry when she walked in. “I’m glad we can put

Saturday behind us. But I am wondering why you didn’t mention

the therapeutic program in your application.”

“It’s separate from my teaching business, and it’s not a

financially sound career move for me,” Kate said as if the answer

should have been obvious to Jamie. “The riders pay a small fee, and

some insurance companies cover riding lessons, but the program

barely breaks even.”

Jamie was perplexed at the woman’s inability to see how she

could have used this program to her advantage. “But didn’t it occur

to you that running the program would be a good indication of

character?” she asked as she walked to the front of the restaurant

with Kate. “Or that it would help the PR angle if Davison and Burke

sponsored you?”

Kate shook her head with a frown. “If I get the sponsorship,

I’ll spend most of my time traveling to horse shows. When I sell my

barn, the therapeutic program might shut down. But there are others

around Portland. If you do decide to let Anna try riding, there’ll be

places for her to go when I’m gone.”

“We’ll see,” Jamie answered noncommittally, holding the door

open for Kate. They shook hands and Jamie touched her briefly

on the shoulder before she returned to her table. She couldn’t eat

another bite, but she wasn’t quite ready to return to her office and

the smug expression she knew would be on Jenn’s face. Jamie sat

alone, but her mind was crowded with the images Kate had forced

her to remember. For a few moments she relived the darkness of the

days after Sara died. She had been overwhelmed by grief and guilt

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over losing her sister and filled with doubts about her ability to take

care of Anna. She could still hear the coldness in her voice when she

told Theresa it was over between them, but she hadn’t had a choice.

Jamie couldn’t risk relying on her, needing her, when she knew

Theresa would probably leave her eventually. Jamie had survived

on her own, but after her conversation with Kate, she started to

wonder if mere survival was enough.

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Worth the risk

Chapter six

Kate was relieved to shed her business suit and slip back

into worn Levi’s and a Tshirt as soon as she got home.

The weekend had been exhausting, even before the runin with

Jamie and her niece. She’d had five students in the show, as well as

two of her own horses to ride, and she was up well before dawn each

morning to braid horses’ manes and muck stalls. Then that sweet

little girl had wheeled into her barn aisle, tears streaming down a

face Kate should have recognized as an innocent, youthful version

of Jamie’s. Kate had discovered firsthand why you shouldn’t try to

play with a cute bear cub. Mama Bear might be just around the

corner, waiting to bite your head off.

Kate headed out to the barn to finish cleaning stalls before her

parents arrived for tea. She usually got through all the barn chores

well before noon, but today she had been too distracted to work until

she could straighten things out with Jamie. She knew Saturday’s

argument had jeopardized her chances at the sponsorship, so she

had forced herself to get dressed for business again and go into the

city. Her anger at being so misjudged and her need to do anything

she could to help Anna had helped bolster her confidence enough to

face the rather terrifying Ms. Callahan.

She leaned against her pitchfork and let her mind wander back

to their conversation. Since leaving the restaurant, she had run over

her words so many times her head was starting to ache. She’d been

so relieved to have fixed their misunderstanding, and so hungry

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after a rushed morning without breakfast, that she had let her guard

down too much and talked to Jamie like a friend, or a date. Sharing

intimate stories and asking personal questions were definitely

taboo in a business relationship like theirs, and Kate flushed

with embarrassment every time she recalled her freely offered

commentary. Yet even in the midst of her shame, she had somehow

enjoyed spending time with an intriguing woman like Jamie, and she

tried in vain to stem her desire to learn more about her. She could

tell there was much more to Jamie’s life story than she had revealed,

and the haunted look in Jamie’s eyes had indicated not much of

it was good. Kate tried to shrug off her curiosity and get back to

cleaning. Jamie’s personal life had nothing to do with her. She just

needed the woman to make a decision about her sponsorship, and

then they would be out of each other’s lives.

Her unfocused thoughts made her late, and Kate was just

sweeping out the barn aisle when she heard her parents’ car drive

in. “Damn,” she muttered as she leaned the broom against a wall

and ran toward the house. She slowed to a walk just as Don and Lily

Brown were climbing out of their car.

“Mom, Dad, how nice to see you,” she said a bit formally as

she gave each of them a quick hug. “Come inside and I’ll change

before we have tea.”

“Well, I certainly hope so, dear,” her mom said, wrinkling her

nose. “You smell like a horse.”

Kate kept her polite smile pasted on her face as she led her

parents into the house. She served them each a small glass of sherry

before leaving them in the living room while she went into the back

of the house to change. She shed her dutiful daughter persona along

with her T-shirt as she rushed around her bedroom, flinging off her

barn clothes and washing off as much dust and grime as she could.

Less than five minutes later, she was back in the front room, wearing

a flowery cotton top and khaki pants along with the appropriate

smile.“Finally,” her mother said as she entered the room. Lily patted

the couch and Kate sat next to her. “We have some exciting news.

You’ll never guess who we saw today!”

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“Byron Hadley,” her dad chimed in. Her parents grinned at

each other happily while Kate tried to place the name.

“Do I know him?” she asked.

Her mother sighed. “Kaitlyn, he’s the president of Hadley

Accounting.”

“They handle all the outside accounting for Davison and

Burke,” Don added helpfully when Kate still looked confused.

“Well, that’s nice,” she said.

“He’s having a cocktail party at his house on Friday, and guess

who’s invited?”

“You?” Kate offered hopefully.

“No, silly. You are. We reminded Byron how close you and his

daughter were in high school and how much you’d love to see her

again, and he suggested you come to the party.”

Kate swallowed some sherry, wishing it was straight bourbon.

“I don’t even remember her. What’s her name?”

“That doesn’t matter.” Lily shrugged it off. “Most of the top

executives from Davison and Burke will be there. It’s a perfect

opportunity for you to network and talk up your sponsorship.”

Oh God. A happy reunion with a woman she didn’t even

remember, and yet another chance to socialize with Jamie Callahan.

Her parents were busy debating what outfit she should wear

when her mother stopped and patted her knee. “Oh, Kaitlyn. This

is what we worked so hard for all these years. This is why we left

Kentucky to come here.”

Lily paused and reached out to grasp the hand Don held out to

her. “We did it all for you, to get you with the right sort of people.

The kind of people who really matter in the world.”

Kate would be able to buy the power and prestige her parents

craved if she won the sponsorship. An opening to the right parties, the

right connections. But she only saw more friendships with agendas,

more pressure to conceal who she really was. She would have the

excitement of riding a worldclass stallion, but a million dollars

couldn’t buy what really mattered to her. Intimacy, belonging. She

saw Jamie sitting in the restaurant, shifting in her chair as she told

Kate details of her life she probably rarely shared. Kate had received

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her trust, for a brief moment, and it meant more to her than Jamie’s

approval of her sponsorship ever could.

Kate’s dad nodded at her. “You’ve been right on the edge for

so long, and this horse will take you even further than we imagined.

Just think, no more cleaning stalls and messing around with these

kids and their little horse shows. What would have happened if we

had stayed on the farm in Kentucky? You wouldn’t have had any of

this.”Kate didn’t say she enjoyed her barn and students. She didn’t

say she had loved Kentucky and had hated leaving. She had fond

memories of laughter and love in their small bungalow, of riding

ponies with the estate owner’s kids. Her parents only remembered

their work as a maid and stable hand on the big breeding farm where

they met and fell in love. They hadn’t wanted Kate to grow up and

work in what they saw as servitude, and they had sacrificed so much

to get her away from that. Now she had a chance to finally give

them what they wanted for her. She knew she had the talent to ride

an Olympiclevel horse, so if she had the opportunity, did it really

matter what she had to give up to make it happen?

She sat at the dining room table and ate fruit salad and finger

sandwiches off china plates, pretending to have an interest in her

parents’ stories about people she barely knew. After lunch, her

dad sat on the back porch and smoked while Kate and her mom

planned her entire outfit for Friday’s party. Although she would

have preferred a cigarette to a fashion show, Kate was glad to see

her mom so excited. She knew she had occasionally disappointed

her parents with her lack of interest in social climbing, and now

she had a chance to make them proud and to justify the sacrifices

they had made. In her imagination, she pictured Jamie sitting on the

couch observing them, adding her own name and LeeAnne Hadley’s

to the list of people Kate was willing to use to get what she wanted.

Kate pushed the thought out of her mind. She made sure no one ever

was hurt by her actions, so what did it matter if she took advantage

of connections to move ahead in life? She only wished she could

protect her own heart as easily.

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Worth the risk

Kate called Jamie’s office as soon as her parents left and before

she could change her mind. Jenn answered on the first ring and

offered to put her through to Jamie, but Kate stopped her.

“No, please, I’d prefer to leave a message,” she said, her words

coming out in a rush. Her earlier conversation with Jamie had been

about uncomfortable honesty, fleeting moments of openness. Kate

had to be less than truthful in this call, and she didn’t want to spoil

her memory of their lunch together. “I’ll be competing with the

stallion at a show in Wilsonville in a few weeks and I wanted to

invite Jamie…Ms. Callahan to come watch.”

“I’m sure she’ll be delighted to attend. I’ll put it on her

calendar,” Jenn said.

Kate didn’t think delighted was the word Jamie would have

chosen. She gave Jenn the address and dates of the Country Classic

while she mentally calculated the balance on her credit cards. “I’d

like to reserve a hospitality tent at the show for the Davison and

Burke employees and their guests,” she said. A tent and refreshments

at one of the most prestigious shows in the Northwest would cost

more than she could afford. She was going far beyond buying a

few new outfits in her attempt to get this horse, and not all of her

sacrifices were financial. Before Jenn could respond, Kate pushed

on. “And I hope I’ll have a chance to see Ms. Callahan at Byron

Hadley’s party on Friday.”

“Why yes, she’ll be there. I called to accept the invitation for

her this morning.”

“Wonderful,” Kate said, hoping her sigh wasn’t audible over

the phone. When she hung up, she wiped her sweaty palms and

told herself the little lies didn’t matter. And it was worth it to spend

money she didn’t have in order to get the money she needed. It was

all part of the game.

❖

Jamie hung up the phone after talking to one of Anna’s physical

therapists and turned her office chair so she faced the Willamette

River. She sighed wearily and let her mind wander as she watched

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the Hawthorne Bridge rise to let a tall sailboat pass underneath.

Within seconds, traffic had stacked up on either side as the concrete

deck slowly rose in the air. This was why she usually kept her back

to the window. She could watch the activities along the river for

hours, but she rarely allowed the sight of them to distract her from

work.Today was different, though. Even after she had returned from

lunch with Kate, their misunderstanding from Saturday resolved, she

still couldn’t shake the woman from her mind. At every turn there

seemed to be something new to learn about her, some odd aspect

of her character that managed to escape her tightly reinedin public

persona. Jamie could imagine her in high school, trying hard to fit

in a social group and learning at a tooyoung age how to use people

to her advantage. But Kate was compassionate by nature, and she

couldn’t hide the guilt she felt about benefitting from someone else.

Jamie knew she’d hit a sore spot when she had carelessly compared

Kate’s sale of Topper to her betrayal of Myra. As an outsider, Jamie

had a less emotional response to Kate’s childhood actions, and she

was certain Kate could easily have fit in any crowd without even

trying. Kate was beautiful as a woman and had probably been very

pretty as a teen. Add her easy charm and kindness, and Judy Wyckoff

most likely would have jumped at the chance to date her no matter

her motives. Jamie knew she would have, if there had been time for

things like girlfriends during her high school years.

Jamie was simply too interested in Kate, and the feeling was

frightening because it was so rare. Usually her interest in a woman

didn’t go further than her behavior between the sheets, but with

Kate she wanted to know more. To ask more questions, to simply

listen to her talk. And not just about the big issues, like her parents

and her childhood, but about simple things like movies and food and

music. When she started to picture herself and Kate walking along

the riverfront holding hands, she abruptly swiveled her chair away

from the window, swearing out loud as she banged her knee on the

heavy desk.

In an attempt to resolve her obsession with Kate, Jamie had

followed through on her promise to call Anna’s doctor and ask about

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Worth the risk

the possibility of letting her ride. Jamie had expected him to side

with her and quickly dismiss the idea as ridiculous, and she had been

surprised at his immediate and wholehearted endorsement of it. He

enthused about how helpful therapeutic riding could be for Anna,

not only for the physical reasons Kate had listed, but mainly for the

psychological benefits. Jamie, still unconvinced, had called every

other medical professional who had seen Anna in the past couple of

years, hoping to find one who would agree with her that riding was

unsafe. Not only did they all encourage her to give it a try, but they

repeatedly spoke about horses lifting Anna’s mood and being good

for her mental wellbeing. Jamie did her best to care for Anna, but

apparently everyone thought her niece had unmet emotional needs.

As call after call forced her to confront the issue, Jamie had

to admit she had been so wrapped up in her own grief and guilt,

and so concerned about protecting Anna, that she might actually be

harming her niece.

Jenn tapped on the office door and Jamie felt a sense of relief

when she entered. She needed the distraction of a workrelated issue

to get her mind off her personal problems.

“Kate Brown just called,” Jenn said, dashing Jamie’s hopes for

some sort of pressing investment crisis. “She wants to reserve a tent

at the next show for the bank to use.”

“To sleep in?” Jamie asked with a confused frown.

Jenn laughed. “God, no. A hospitality tent. Food, drink, shade,

that sort of thing.”

“Sounds nice,” Jamie said warily. “Can you find out how much

it will cost?”

“Already did,” Jenn said as she dropped a slip of paper on the

desk in front of Jamie. She had itemized the cost of the tent, as well

as catering and serving staff. Jamie raised her eyebrows in surprise

as she read the total cost.

“She can’t afford this. I’ll get Dave to sign off on the expense,

so make the reservations and charge it to the company.”

“Already did,” Jenn said as she turned to leave. She stopped

halfway to the door. “Oh, and Ms. Brown said she’ll be attending

Byron Hadley’s cocktail party on Friday and she hopes you’ll be

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there as well. I said you would and I called the Hadleys to change

your RSVP from no to yes.”

“Do you even need me to be here?” Jamie asked, trying in vain

to hide her smile.

“I’d prefer it if you telecommuted,” Jenn said.

“Aw, you’d miss me,” Jamie said to the closing door. Jamie

turned back toward the river. She hated these networking parties and

had stopped attending them as soon as she was successful enough to

avoid workrelated socializing. Still, she would probably see some

acquaintances there, and it might be fun to catch up. She wondered

what Kate would choose to wear to a party, and the vista in front of

her faded into the background as she let her imagination wander to

other forms of natural beauty.

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Worth the risk

Chapter seven

For once in her life, Kate appreciated the extensive notes

her parents had made her keep during her school years.

She had lists of her friends, including details about the way they

dressed, what hobbies they had, how their parents were connected.

Throughout Kate’s youth, those notes had dictated what clubs she

joined, what movies she saw, even what food was in her family’s

fridge. They had encouraged her to add to them every night, with

a diligence most parents reserved for homework. She found them

tucked in her yearbook and was able to piece together a clear picture

of LeeAnne Hadley before Friday’s cocktail party.

Kate wondered what her friends would have written about her

if they had been asked, but she figured they would only have been

able to repeat the vague halftruths her family encouraged others to

believe. That her wealthy parents worked in law and finance. That

they were from a wellrespected Kentucky family and that she had

flown back there for her coming-out party. Not out of shame, but

for her parents’ sakes, she never revealed the truth. That her dad

worked for a landscaping company that mowed lawns outside of

banks, and her mom cleaned law offices at night. That they had gone

to Kentucky to visit old friends and not for a debutante ball, thank

God. She supposed the main goal in her life was to be accepted

enough so other people took notes about her, so they’d be able

to fit in her circle. Since few people ever saw past the façade she

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had erected, those notes would never capture the real her. She had

always suspected there was so much more to her friends’ lives as

well, things that never were seen and never found their way into her

notebook.

Kate left her Lexus with the valet and walked up the steps

toward the Hadleys’ brightly lit house. The Lexus had been another

gift from her parents that they couldn’t afford since they hated having

people see her drive her beloved GMC pickup truck. She lingered

in the shadows on the massive staircase and prepared herself for

a night of playacting. Flirt with LeeAnne, be gracious with her

hosts, and chat with every member of Davison and Burke she could

find. Those were the easy ones. Being civil to Jamie Callahan and

avoiding any physical contact or controversial conversation with her

would be more difficult. Kate could still feel Jamie’s hand resting on

her shoulder when she’d left the restaurant after their lunch together.

Such a simple touch, but it made Kate long for more. Kate added a

mental warning to avoid too much alcohol as she put on a confident

smile and walked toward the front door.

Kate’s hosts were standing just inside the foyer, greeting their

guests as they came through the door. Some instinct drew her eyes

to the room behind them where she easily picked Jamie out of the

crowd. She was deep in a conversation with two men, gesturing

broadly as if trying to prove a point, so Kate felt safe to let her gaze

rest on her for a few moments. Jamie was wearing a sleeveless gold

top that brought out the same tones in her hair. The front of the

blouse draped in a loose V, and Kate caught herself following it

down toward Jamie’s chest. She blinked to refocus her thoughts and

stepped forward to meet the Hadleys. She introduced herself and

Byron beckoned for his daughter to join them. Kate brushed off her

sense of shame at using a weak connection just to be invited here.

Jamie looked so confident, so natural among these people, and Kate

felt like a fraud in comparison. She wanted to simply walk away

from it all, but then LeeAnne came toward her with a welcoming

grin. Kate ran a hand over her dress, smoothing the silky fabric

against her thigh. She fit in here. She dressed the part, knew the

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right words to say. She started walking and met LeeAnne halfway

across the foyer.

“LeeAnne, how good to see you again,” Kate said with a big

smile as she gave her former classmate a light kiss on the cheek. “I

was thinking of you just the other day because South Pacific was on

television. Do you remember when our high school drama club put

it on?”

LeeAnne laughed with delight, placing her arm companionably

over Kate’s shoulder as she led her to the bar. “I haven’t thought of

that in ages,” she said. “Didn’t Jimmy what’shisname knock over

one of the palm trees during a love scene?”

“Yes,” Kate said, joining in the laughter. She found herself

drawn in by LeeAnne’s wide smile, and she started to remember her

as a person instead of just a sketchedout list of qualities. Judging by

her skintight dress, LeeAnne apparently hadn’t outgrown her love

of red clothes. With her bright red hair the dress should have been

a disaster, but LeeAnne had always been able to pull it off. “I hope

you’ll be revisiting your success with a rendition of ‘Bali Ha’i’ for

this evening’s entertainment?”

“Get me drunk enough and you never know what I’ll do,”

LeeAnne said suggestively, leaning toward Kate and giving the

impression she was already well on the way. “Speaking of which,

what would you like?”

“Knob Creek Manhattan, easy on the vermouth,” Kate told the

tuxedoed bartender. She stepped just out of LeeAnne’s reach and

leaned an elbow on the bar, refusing to glance toward Jamie again.

She kept her tone light since she was only interested in the kind of

flirting that would end when the party did. “So, what have you been

up to since high school?”

❖

Jamie stood across the room drinking a thirtyyearold Macallan

and watched Kate’s grand entrance to the party. When she had first

come to work for Davison and Burke, she had dutifully attended

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the many social functions like this one and hated every moment

of every one. She told herself the twinge of excitement she had

felt about this party was due to her host’s excellent taste in scotch

and definitely not because Jenn had told her Kaitlyn Brown would

be attending. Tonight Kate was playing wealthy socialite, Jamie

noticed. She was wearing a halter dress in some sort of shiny,

palegray material. The skirt was just short enough, and the back

low enough, to be sexy but not slutty. The strappy high heels and

tasteful emeralds that glinted at her throat and earlobes were the

perfect accessories. She looked gorgeous, and apparently the redhaired LeeAnne Hadley thought so as well. For every inch Kate put between them, LeeAnne moved two toward her. Jamie decided

it would be interesting to watch from a distance and see how Kate

handled herself in this type of situation. She managed to observe

their interaction for about five seconds before she strolled over to

the bar and slid her arm around Kate’s waist.

“You look beautiful tonight,” she said, giving her a quick kiss

on the temple. Kate looked as if she couldn’t decide between fainting

dead away at Jamie’s greeting or laughing hysterically.

“Ms. Callahan, how nice to see you again,” she said, hiding her

amused smile by taking a sip of her drink. “You know our hostess,

LeeAnne Hadley?”

Jamie reached out to shake the woman’s hand. “Nice to meet

you,” she said, her left arm not leaving Kate’s slender waist. “And

how do the two of you know each other?”

“We went to the same schools in Wilsonville,” LeeAnne

answered. “And you two are…”

“Business associates,” Kate said quickly, pulling away gently.

Jamie let her arm fall away, but she stayed close to Kate. She tried

not to ask herself what her possessive response meant.

“Well, I’ll let the two of you discuss your…business. I have

guests to greet, but I hope to have a chance to talk more before you

leave.” This last was obviously directed at Kate.

“Good friends?” Jamie asked, moving away now that the threat

had gone.

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Worth the risk

“Good enough,” Kate answered with a shrug. Jamie watched

her take another drink out of her frosty glass. She raised her

eyebrows in question and Kate continued. “Good enough to get me

invited to this party. So I could see you.”

Jamie swallowed some scotch, enjoying its smooth burn down

the back of her throat. She had a feeling that flirting was simply

part of Kate’s party persona, so she tried not to take it seriously.

Still, the shy smile and steady gaze made it difficult to care whether

the suggestive undertones were real or designed to weaken Jamie’s

defenses and make her do Kate’s bidding.

“You know,” she breathed into Kate’s ear, enjoying the delicate

hint of Chanel as she leaned close, “it’s going to take more than a

few compliments to make me endorse your application.”

“Exactly what will it take, Ms. Callahan?” Kate asked softly.

Sex, Jamie wanted to say. It suddenly seemed so simple. She

was attracted to Kate, and that infatuation was making it difficult

for her to concentrate at work, at home, everywhere. The easiest

way to take care of it was just to sleep with her, get Kate out of her

system, and then she would be back to her normal controlled self.

It wouldn’t be her most ethical business decision, but it also wasn’t

expressly against the rules. Since her attraction was only physical,

having sex with Kate shouldn’t have any bearing on her decisionmaking abilities. She tried to conveniently forget that her every reaction to Kate, since the woman had first walked into her office,

had been emotional and not professional.

Jamie caught Kate watching her with those earthy green eyes

that made such a startling contrast with her sophisticated outfit.

Those same eyes flitted occasionally to the drape of gold material

covering Jamie’s breasts, and Jamie silently vowed to give Jenn a

bonus for buying the top for her and insisting she wear it to the party.

She stepped even closer, so her thigh brushed Kate’s, and wondered

why it was suddenly so difficult to find the right words to say. Let me

take you home so I can rip that dress off you. Jamie could truthfully

include propositioning women as one of her skills on a resume, but

for some reason this felt different, and all of her usual lines were too

awkward. She was about to just blurt something out when Kate’s

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expression shifted in an instant, and Jamie straightened up and

looked over her shoulder.

“Dave, good to see you,” she said, her tone all business as she

shook her boss’s hand. “David Randall, I’d like you to meet Kaitlyn

Brown.”

“Ah, the girl who wants to buy a pony,” he said. Jamie and Kate

both laughed along with his joke.

“It’s every girl’s dream, isn’t it?” Kate said with an innocent

smile, all traces of her flirtatious side gone. Damn, thought Jamie,

she’s good.

They moved naturally from a conversation with Dave to one

with a group of LeeAnne’s college friends. Jamie stuck close to

Kate’s side as they mingled with various people, aware she was

giving the impression they were there as a couple. They hadn’t

touched one another since leaving the bar, but the warmth between

them was so palpable Jamie figured everyone could sense it. She let

Kate do most of the talking, while she quietly wondered at her relief

that they had been interrupted before she had managed to bring up

her brilliant idea of sex. How about I take you out to my Mercedes

so I can make you come?

She tried to distract herself by observing Kate’s interactions

with the other guests, and soon she became so interested in what

she saw that she almost forgot about her plan to seduce Kate so

she could move on with her life. She watched and eavesdropped in

amazement as Kate changed her tone, expressions, and language

like a chameleon, depending on who was nearby. It was subtle and

masterful, Jamie decided. Kate never pretended to be someone else,

but she would draw out specific aspects of herself to fit her company.

She could move from flirtatious to intelligent to deferential in a

heartbeat. Eventually Jamie got tired from simply watching the

transformations and she had a feeling Kate must be exhausted.

She finally pulled Kate aside and took the empty Manhattan

glass from her hand. “I need to talk to you,” she said in a low voice,

indicating a quiet corner. “I’ll get us refills. Meet me over there.”

Kate agreed. If she was surprised or confused by the request, her

perfectly composed expression didn’t betray her.

• 78 •

Worth the risk

“You really want this, don’t you?” Jamie asked as she handed

Kate her fresh drink and watched her expression shift to blank

weariness once they were alone. “You just impressed the hell out of

everyone in the room.”

“I know I can do this. I have the talent, I just need the money.”

Kate’s words were sincere and simple, but Jamie knew they were

intended to meet her own expectations of forthrightness and honesty.

“You’ll come to the show and actually watch me ride this time? I’ll

show you what I can do.”

Jamie ignored the suggestive nature of that statement. Kate

was only talking about riding, nothing more personal. “Jenn already

reserved the hospitality tent,” she said.

Kate whipped her head toward Jamie in surprise. “I was

supposed to do that. It was my suggestion, so I should pay.”

Jamie shook her head. “It’ll help me make a decision if I can

watch you ride and see the horse in person, so to speak. The company

is taking care of the tent and catering.”

“I should, well…thank you,” Kate said. Jamie didn’t need the

intimate knowledge she had of Kate’s finances to interpret the relief

evident on her face.

“You’re welcome,” Jamie said as she rested her shoulder

against the wall near Kate. “So, I talked to Anna’s doctor, and he

said it might be okay for her to try lessons.”

Kate’s face lit up in the first real smile Jamie had seen all

evening. “That’s wonderful. She must be thrilled.”

“I haven’t told her yet,” Jamie said with a shake of her head.

“She’d be too excited to sleep, so Elaine and I decided to wait until

we’re sure before we tell her.”

“Elaine?” Kate asked too casually, taking a sip of her drink.

“Her nanny,” Jamie said, her eyes leaving Kate’s and roaming

around the room to make sure they weren’t about to be interrupted.

“One of those sexy au pairs from Europe,” she said, then laughed

at Kate’s shocked expression. “Elaine is seventyone and she’s

from Vancouver, Washington. She takes care of Anna and does the

housekeeping as well.”

• 79 •

karis Walsh

Kate joined in her laughter. “I suppose you make her wear one

of those French maid uniforms while she’s dusting?”

“Of course. And a bikini when she’s washing the windows.”

Kate shook her head. “I hope you pay her extra for that. So, can

you bring Anna on Tuesday at six thirty?”

“I don’t know if we’d be ready to start this week,” Jamie said

with a frown. Although she liked the thought of seeing Kate again,

she wasn’t sure she could bear to watch Anna riding around on

some huge horse. The doctors’ unanimous concerns about Anna’s

emotional health had been enough to make Jamie reluctantly okay

the lessons, but even the thought of watching her ride made Jamie’s

heart rate rise. “I was just thinking that sometime in the future she

could maybe try it.”

Kate watched her with an understanding expression. “It’s all

right to be nervous,” she said.

Jamie gave a short laugh that didn’t sound convincing. “Why

would I be nervous? I’m not the one getting on the horse.”

“Why don’t you bring Anna over Monday afternoon about

four? She can meet the horses, and if it goes well we can let her take

a short ride.”

Jamie ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “Fine, I’ll do it.

But if I think Anna is in danger at any point, I’m pulling her off and

taking her home.”

“I think you’ll be surprised at how well she does,” Kate said

softly, laying her hand on Jamie’s arm. “Just wait until you see her

face light up.” She pulled her hand away before Jamie could reach

out to grab hold of it.

After a healthy dose of Manhattan her Southern accent was

showing itself again, and Jamie wondered what other activities

might make Kate’s composure slip enough to really bring out that

drawl. Let’s go fuck in the bathroom. She cleared her throat and

attempted to find a neutral conversation topic. “You’re very good at

all of this,” she said, gesturing around the room with her scotch. At

Kate’s questioning look, she elaborated. “Mingling, talking, being

what people want.”

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Worth the risk

“Years of practice,” Kate said with a frown. “And you’re very

good at not caring whether any of them really like you or not. That

makes them scared of you.”

“Either way, it’s a question of power.”

“I wish I could just be myself and…” Kate started.

“Bullshit,” Jamie said, earning her a startled look from Kate,

her mouth open in a gasp of surprise that brought life to her usually

controlled expressions. Sexy. Like her smile when she was riding

Topper or her flash of anger when she confronted Jamie in the

restaurant, the involuntary reaction transformed her face from

porcelain to flesh. Jamie wanted more. She put her hand next to

Kate’s head and leaned closer, the intensity of her gaze pushing

Kate against the wall. “Don’t try to tell me you aren’t enjoying this

because I see it in your eyes. You like having this control over other

people, the ability to make them like you, the strength you get from

keeping part of yourself secret. Like I said, it’s all about power, and

you like having it.”

Kate opened and closed her mouth a couple of times as if

searching for something to say, but Jamie pushed on before she

could speak. “You don’t want to stop playing the game, but you

make so much of an effort to see people and figure out what they

really want. You just want someone to do the same for you.”

Jamie watched the pained expression flash over Kate’s face,

and she knew she had struck deep with her words. She decided she

should pull back a little and lighten the mood. This kind of intensity

led women to expect a relationship, not the type of casual sex she

had in mind. “You’re good at playing the game, but we’re just the

farm team here. If you get the sponsorship, you’re headed to the

major leagues.”

Jamie eased away from Kate, releasing the pressure that had

kept her pinned against the wall like a butterfly specimen. “We can

help you finance this horse, but once you have him it’ll take more

than schmoozing at parties to get the corporate endorsements you’ll

need to back a training barn and the steady stream of Olympicquality horses that will keep you in the spotlight. The bigname sponsors will recognize a novice in a heartbeat.”

• 81 •

karis Walsh

Kate sighed, seeming weary at the thought, but she accepted

the change in tone with relief evident in her voice. “I suppose you

have some words of advice for me?”

Jamie shrugged, a smile playing over her face. “Are you asking

me to be your mentor? You should know I demand strict obedience

from all of my disciples.”

“Whatever you say, guru. I’m here to learn.”

Jamie let the tempting implications of that slide and she glanced

around the room. “First, you need to identify the big names and

find ways to connect with them outside the workplace. They don’t

want to feel like you’re always pushing business talk with them.

Dave Randall collects modern art and he travels to Seattle for most

Mariners’ home games. See the man who just came in? That’s Carl

Burke, as in Davison and Burke. He’s a golfer and he loves cigars.

When I was first hired, I found these things out and made sure I just

happened to have similar hobbies.”

“You smoke?” Kate asked in surprise.

“Ugh, no. But I now have a six handicap.”

“What else?” Kate asked.

“When I told you Jenn had reserved the hospitality tent at the

show, you were too grateful. If you expect us to give you one and a

half million, you should definitely feel entitled to a few thousand for

a tent and some booze.”

“So I should have said thank you and left it at that?” Kate asked.

“Yes,” Jamie said, getting lost in Kate’s eyes that watched her

so intently. “Or better yet, you should have reserved the tent and

sent us the bill.”

Kate seemed about to answer when she glanced past Jamie’s

shoulder and suddenly raised her voice. “I’m afraid I have to

disagree with you, Jamie. I enjoy a maduro more than a claro.”

Jamie frowned, trying to figure out the shift in conversation

when a male voice interrupted them.

“I hate to eavesdrop, but are the two of you talking about

cigars?”

Jamie turned to face the newcomer. “Hello, Carl. Actually we

were just…”

• 82 •

Worth the risk

“Maybe you can settle an argument,” Kate spoke over her with

a charming smile and a pronounced drawl. “Your Ms. Callahan was

just saying how much she loves a lighter cigar that won’t overpower

her scotch, but I find them too understated for my taste. I much prefer

something like a sweeter, more fullbodied Ashton to complement

my bourbon.”

“Much as I hate to disagree with such a lovely young woman,

I’m afraid I have to toe the company line on this and side with Ms.

Callahan. I can’t believe you’ve hidden your taste for cigars from

me all these years, Jamie. And who is your delightful friend?”

It took an effort, but Jamie managed to keep from rolling her

eyes in annoyance as she made the introductions. She almost called

Kate “Scarlett,” but she didn’t think Carl would understand her

humor.

“Ah, the horsewoman,” Carl Burke said, shaking Kate’s hand.

Jamie was relieved he didn’t try to kiss it. “I’m looking forward to

watching you ride at the Country Classic. I have a granddaughter

showing there as well. I trust Jamie has been doing her usual bangup job with your application?”

“Yes,” Kate said with a grin. “She’s been most…thorough.”

“Wonderful. I’d better get back to my wife, but Jamie, I’m

going to have her invite you to dinner soon. I have an old Talisker

and some Fuente Gran Reservas that pair excellently. I hope you’ll

bring Ms. Brown along, and perhaps we can convince her to join

our side.”

Jamie kept a smile on her face until her boss had moved away.

“You little Southern bitch,” she said in a teasing tone to hide a

curious wave of disappointment. Not at the disgusting prospect of

smoking a cigar with Carl, but at the realization that Kate would

probably be gone by then, and she wouldn’t be able to invite her

even if she wanted to.

Kate just laughed. “You might want to learn how to cut and light

a cigar before then. Smokers can recognize a novice in a heartbeat.”

❖

• 83 •

karis Walsh

Jamie was almost relieved when she and Kate were eventually

pulled in separate directions by LeeAnne and Dave. She stood with

the group from her office and managed to keep her focus on the

conversation rather than on Kate. She was rapidly reevaluating the

bright idea of moving their relationship to a more physical level

after spending the evening talking and laughing with her. Usually

the more time she spent with a woman, the less she wanted her

sexually. Being with Kate only made Jamie want her more and that

was unacceptable. Still, the secondguessing didn’t stop her from

excusing herself and following when she noticed Kate slip out to the

patio. Jamie found Kate sitting in the shadows, on a low bench next

to a builtin barbecue.

“You’re following me?” Kate asked as Jamie sat down near

her. “You’re hiding?” Jamie asked in turn, resting her arm along the

back of the bench.

“LeeAnne was getting a little too friendly, and I thought it

would be better to disappear than to throw a drink in her face.”

“Good choice,” Jamie said with a nod, resisting the urge to go

back in and take care of the drink throwing.

They sat in silence while all of Jamie’s resolve to avoid contact

melted away. “I forgot to give you my most important piece of

networking advice,” she said as she moved her arm forward so it

rested along Kate’s shoulders. Her thumb gently traced the strap of

Kate’s dress.

“What’s that?” Kate whispered, her eyes slipping closed as

Jamie’s fingers moved into her hair.

Jamie inched closer and let her free hand rest on Kate’s thigh.

“You should identify the one person who can help you the most and

focus all of your attention there.”

Kate opened her eyes and turned her head to face Jamie. “Why,

I suppose that would be you,” she observed.

Jamie smiled and tightened her fingers in Kate’s hair, urging

her closer until their lips met. The first light brush of Kate’s lips hit

her like a fist in the stomach. Kate gave a small gasp of surprise,

and Jamie took advantage of the opportunity to slip her tongue in

• 84 •

Worth the risk

Kate’s mouth. Instead of resisting, Kate leaned into her and met

every thrust of Jamie’s tongue with one of her own. Her hand slid up

to the drape of fabric between Jamie’s breasts. Jamie had expected

that, since Kate’s eyes had traveled there enough times that evening,

but she was completely unprepared for the physical jolt she felt at

Kate’s light touch.

Jamie moved her right hand up Kate’s thigh and under the hem

of her dress. A few more inches, and she knew she would find Kate

to be as wet as she was. One tug on her thigh, and Kate would be

straddling her lap, grinding her hips into Jamie’s. Any one of Jamie’s

ridiculous pickup lines, and Kate would be hers for the night.

And then what? Every inch of Jamie screamed out at the

thought of walking away from Kate right now. How much harder

would it be to leave after touching her, tasting her? Jamie slipped

out of Kate’s grasp and stood up shakily. It was time to run.

“I am very sorry,” she said, enunciating each word carefully

to keep her voice controlled. Her words sounded cold even to her

own ears. “That was completely unprofessional. I must have had too

much to drink.”

“Me too,” Kate agreed, even though they each had stopped

after two drinks. “I’m tired and I…”

Jamie held up a hand to stop her. “No need to apologize. I’m

the one who initiated…this. It won’t ever happen again.”

She turned to leave, but stopped again. “This won’t affect my

ability to make an unbiased decision about your proposal, but if

you’d prefer I can ask Dave to assign…”

“No,” Kate interrupted in turn. “We got carried away, but it

didn’t mean anything. There’s no reason for our business association

to change.”

Jamie nodded and left, moving quickly through the house to

avoid talking to anyone. She sat in her car for a long time, hoping

irrationally that Kate would follow her out and insist she finish

what she had started. Finally, Jamie started the car and drove home,

ignoring the nagging thought that Kate might turn to the willing

LeeAnne instead.

• 85 •

karis Walsh

❖

Kate managed to get inside and lock herself in a bathroom

before her composure slipped completely. She sagged against the

door, sliding down until she was sitting on her heels. Dear God,

what had she done? The more important question was, what had

she been about to do? And she knew exactly what the answer to that

was since the mere thought of it made her wet. She wanted Jamie

Callahan, and it had nothing to do with the small amount of liquor

she had consumed.

Kate ran through the evening’s events, trying to pinpoint

precisely when she had lost her mind. Maybe it was when Jamie’s

strong hand cradled her neck so gently. Or when she proved her

ability to see past Kate’s masks to the vulnerability that lay beneath

them. Or was it when Jamie had first approached her at the party,

wrapping an arm around her waist and shooting that fiercely

possessive look in LeeAnne’s direction? Whatever the cause, Kate

hated herself for allowing her defenses to come down. Her actions

were unprofessional and inappropriate, and she knew her parents

would have been ashamed of her for throwing away her chances at

the sponsorship. At the same time, a small, mean part of her mind

thought they wouldn’t care if she had slept with Jamie, as long as it

guaranteed her endorsement of Kate’s cause.

Kate replayed the scene in her mind, still feeling her body’s

response to Jamie’s touch. Jamie’s fingers brushing her shoulder,

tangled in her hair, sliding up her thigh. Even after Jamie’s rejection,

Kate ached to hear a knock at the door, to hear Jamie’s voice calling

her, to hear her own cry out in release. Kate had been weak, too

willing to be seduced, but Jamie had turned her down. It must have

been yet another test in a lifelong series of them. And she had failed.

She had proved without a doubt she would do whatever it took to

seal the business deal, and Jamie had been more interested in that

information than in Kate herself. What Jamie didn’t realize was

Kate hadn’t even spared a thought for horses or Olympic dreams

when she was in her arms. All she had wanted was Jamie.

• 86 •

Worth the risk

She eventually got off the floor, said her good-byes, and drove

home. She lay across the bed, not caring about the wrinkles she

was making in her expensive dress. She would be very surprised

if she saw Jamie at her barn on Monday. Instead, she would expect

a politely worded note from her efficient assistant, denying Kate’s

application. The only bright spot Kate could possibly find was

that Jamie hadn’t yet told Anna about the lessons. She would have

hated it if her foolish actions had been the cause of the little girl’s

disappointment.

• 87 •

• 88 •

Worth the risk

Chapter eight

Kate raised the jump another six inches and turned back to

the stallion that stood in a corner of the arena, watching

her every move. She waved her arms and shooed him into a canter,

but he didn’t need much encouragement to aim toward the jump she

had set and sail over it. Her breath caught every time she watched

him jump. His muscles bunched and propelled him off the ground in

a perfect arc, with perfect form. He snorted and danced in place as

she raised the jump a little more.

He cleared the fence easily as Kate shifted her weight, rising up

on her toes as if she were jumping with him. Soon she would be, and

the idea was as exciting as it was intimidating. She had never ridden

a horse with such power, but she couldn’t wait to give it a try. Kate

had welcomed his arrival yesterday, hoping he would be enough of

a distraction to make her forget about the disastrous Hadley party.

To make her forget Jamie. He had done his best to keep her mind

occupied, with his incessant neighs and his determined attempts to

destroy his paddock, but Kate couldn’t stop reliving Friday night.

Sometimes she focused on her shame after Jamie’s rejection, but

other times, especially at night, she imagined herself back on the

patio with Jamie’s hands on her. And with a much more satisfying

ending.

Kate whistled and the stallion trotted over to her. His coat was

dry and he looked as if he could have jumped for hours, but Kate

didn’t want to overdo it on his first workout. She buckled his halter

• 89 •

karis Walsh

in place and led him back to his stall. Tomorrow she would ride him

for the first time. Maybe it would keep her from worrying whether

Jamie would decide to show up for Anna’s ride. She hadn’t called to

cancel yet, and Kate debated how she should handle their meeting if

Jamie did show. Cool indifference? Meek apology? She didn’t have

a precedent for this type of social situation and she felt lost without

a clear part to play.

❖

Jamie glanced in the rearview mirror as she drove Anna to

Kate’s barn on Monday afternoon. She had expected her niece to be

wildly excited about the prospect of being near a horse, but instead

she was very subdued. That wrenched at Jamie’s heart more than

anything. She knew Anna had been deeply hurt by her experience at

the horse show, and she was probably preparing to be disappointed

yet again.

Jamie had nearly decided to skip the appointment. She wasn’t

looking forward to being around Kate, and try as she might to

convince herself that her interest in Kate was only physical, she

knew it was much deeper and far more dangerous than that. She had

only felt this kind of attraction, one that threatened the fine balance

she had achieved in her life, a few times before, but it had always

been easy enough to restore her equilibrium. Either she ignored the

feelings until they disappeared, or she engaged in a quick affair to

ease the tension so it didn’t affect her daily life. Thoughts of Kate

had become too persistent to ignore, however, and although Jamie

had spent the evenings in her usual bars, she had chosen to leave

on her own each time. After Friday’s kiss, it was clear that getting

Kate out of her system with a casual fling was out of the question.

The only recourse she could think of was to summon all of her selfdiscipline and simply fight her attraction with brute mental strength.

Jamie could find only one positive, but uncomfortable, side

effect of her obsession with Kate. Long, sleepless nights had given

her time for some soul searching, and memories of those early years

after her mother had left, when she had first left home with Sara

• 90 •

Worth the risk

haunted her. She had worked harder than a girl of fifteen should

have needed to in order to provide a home and safety for her sister,

but she had given her little else. Jamie’s very survival had depended

on her ability to ignore the pain and anger—and the nightmares—

which followed from her stepfather’s home to her new apartment.

She had shut down so much that now she wasn’t able to give Anna

any of the love and nurturing she needed. Her detachment and selfcontrol had made her successful in her career, but she wanted more for Anna.

With her customary drive and logic, Jamie had created an

action plan to meet Anna’s emotional needs, and riding horses

seemed to be an ideal part of that plan. It would give Anna a chance

to connect with the animals she loved while acting as a form of

physical therapy. As difficult as it would be to face Kate again, she

had to do it for Anna’s sake. Jamie had been the one to make the first

move on Kate. It simply wouldn’t happen again.

She parked the Mercedes on a paved area near the barn and saw

Kate heading out to meet them. “Stay here a second, okay?” she said

to Anna before she got out of the car.

She met Kate halfway across the parking lot. “I didn’t think

you’d come,” Kate spoke first. “I’m glad you did…for Anna, I

mean.”

Jamie took a step closer, wanting to erase the awkward blush

that colored Kate’s cheeks. She took the initiative so they could move

past the uncomfortable memory of their kiss. “I need to apologize

for what happened at the party,” she said bluntly. “My behavior was

unacceptable given our business association.” She stopped and ran

a hand through her hair. “I don’t have any excuse for the kiss. I find

you very attractive, but I was out of line.”

Kate waved her hand in dismissal, seemingly relieved to have

the topic out in the open. “I had as much a part in it as you did. We’re

not the first two people to ever make a mistake like that after having

too much to drink. At least it didn’t go past a simple kiss.”

A simple kiss? Jamie had experienced plenty of those, and

what she and Kate had done at the Hadleys’ went well beyond that.

At least it had seemed so to Jamie, but apparently it had mattered

• 91 •

karis Walsh

more to her than to Kate. The thought aroused an irrational anger

in her, and instead of letting the matter drop, she pushed on. “For

the record, I never meant to imply that any sexual favors would

guarantee…”

Kate stepped closer, her green eyes darkening with anger at

Jamie’s coolly spoken words. “Are you suggesting I would have had

sex with you to get the sponsorship?” she hissed, standing toetotoe

with Jamie. “For God’s sake, we were just joking around and it got

out of hand. I want your company’s money, but I wouldn’t prostitute

myself to get it.”

Jamie stood her ground as Kate glared at her angrily, fighting

the urge to grab her and finish their kiss. At least she had managed

to coerce some sort of emotional response from the controlled Kate.

Her overheated emotions made her pursue the matter, as if she

wanted Kate to lash out at her. “I should let you know that if you

decide to sue for sexual harassment I wouldn’t fight it, and you’d

have the money for your horse.”

“Do you want me to sign a fucking waiver to prove I won’t

sue? If I had thought for a second you were sexually harassing me,

I would have been back inside filing a complaint with those idiots

from your legal department. Jesus, it was nothing. I kissed LeeAnne

at the party as well, and she’s not panicking about a lawsuit.”

Jamie took a step back, her face turning to stone. A slap would

have been more welcome than Kate’s words. She had pictured Kate

turning to LeeAnne for comfort, and it seemed she was right. “As

long as we understand each other,” she said coldly.

“Perfectly,” Kate said with equal coolness. “We’re both adult

enough to overlook a small indiscretion and not let it affect our

business relationship or Anna’s day.”

At the mention of Anna, Jamie quickly turned and walked back

to the car where her niece was sitting quietly and playing with a

plastic model horse. She went to the trunk and pulled out Anna’s

wheelchair while Kate leaned into the car to greet her.

“I’m so glad you could make it today, Anna,” Kate said in

a bright voice. “I know Topper is looking forward to seeing you

again.”

• 92 •

Worth the risk

Kate’s running commentary about the horses, so at odds with

their prior conversation, helped put Anna at ease and restore Jamie’s

sense of priorities. Seeing the shy smile on her niece’s face, Jamie

decided to take Kate’s cue and concentrate on giving Anna a special

day. If Kate could so easily dismiss their argument and the kiss,

she certainly could as well. It was almost a relief to tamp down the

disappointment and jealousy she had been feeling and return to her

stoic self. She managed to convince herself that just picturing Kate

and LeeAnne together would effectively block out any attraction

Jamie felt toward her.

Kate took charge of Anna’s chair and wheeled her into the

lounge. Although she hadn’t noticed it on her first visit, Jamie was

glad to see Kate’s barn was set up to accommodate a wheelchair.

The doorways were wide with smooth sills, and there were asphalt

paths leading to the arena and the parking area. Even the lounge

furniture was arranged so Anna could easily maneuver.

She hadn’t been expecting other people to be around though,

and she wasn’t pleased to see Myra sitting on the couch talking to

a young man.

“Anna, these are my friends, Myra and Chris. Jamie, you

remember Myra?” Kate smoothly made the introductions. Jamie

shook hands with Chris, a young man whose cowboy hat and boots

made an odd juxtaposition with his long hair and tiedyed shirt. He

looked a bit lost between generations. Jamie nodded at Myra who

gave her a knowing wink before turning to Anna with a friendly

grin. Jamie had no doubt Kate had told her about their encounter,

but everyone seemed willing to pretend things were okay for Anna’s

sake. Just ignore the feelings and they’ll go away. It had always

worked for her in the past.

Kate knelt by Anna’s side. “I need to show your aunt something,”

she said. “Do you mind if Chris and Myra take you out to meet the

horses for a few minutes?”

Jamie was about to protest when Myra chimed in. “C’mon,

Anna, let’s stop by the pop machine first.”

Anna smiled in agreement. Jamie watched Chris push Anna’s

chair along while Myra talked easily with the little girl. She didn’t

register Kate’s hand on her forearm until she gave a small squeeze.

• 93 •

karis Walsh

“She’ll be fine,” Kate assured her. “They won’t go too close to

the horses until we’re back.”

Jamie nodded, not sure if the horses were the cause of her

sudden anxiety. She turned and followed Kate outside, surprised she

was willing to be around Jamie without chaperones. They walked

over to the small barn in silence, and Kate climbed up on the fence

around the stallion’s paddock. Jamie followed her lead and leaned

on the top plank, close enough for her bare forearm to brush against

Kate’s. The innocent touch brought Jamie back to Friday night, to

the feel of Kate, tense with passion, in her arms. The memory alone

was nearly enough to break Jamie’s determination to wrestle her

attraction into submission.

“He’s here,” Kate said unnecessarily as the large chestnut burst

out of his stall at the sound of Kate’s voice. He snorted loudly and

came toward them in a highstepping trot.

“Jesus Christ,” Jamie said. The horse’s coat, the rusty color

of drying blood, was covered in a light sheen of sweat. It slid over

muscles more clearly defined than Jamie would have expected after

his weeks of inactivity. She hadn’t been sure what to expect in over

a million dollars’ worth of horseflesh, but this animal looked ready

to prove his worth. His attitude practically dared her to say he was

worth less than his ridiculous price tag.

Kate acknowledged her exclamation with a wry smile.

“Impressive, isn’t he?” she asked, her eyes never leaving the horse.

She leaned back when the horse trotted past them again, her forearm

muscles flexing against Jamie’s arm. So strong for a woman, but so

weak compared to the giant of a horse. Jamie scooted closer, ready

to grab Kate off the fence if the horse came at them. “He got here

Saturday morning,” Kate said.

“Have you ridden him yet?” Jamie asked as the horse circled

the paddock with his tail in the air. He squealed and lashed out with

his hind legs, contacting the fence and making it rattle.

“This morning,” Kate said. “I gave him a couple of days to

settle in, but he really needs the exercise.”

“Looks like it,” Jamie said, gesturing with her head at a section

of the new fence that already showed signs of being patched up. She

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fought down a wave of nausea at the thought of Kate on top of this

stick of dynamite. “How is he to ride?”

Kate hesitated. “Powerful,” she finally said.

Jamie pulled her eyes off the magnificent horse. “This is your

dream horse. I would expect a little more gushing than that.”

“We just need more time together,” Kate said, meeting her

gaze with a confident look. “He’s been stuck on a plane and in a

quarantine stall for a few weeks. We’ll figure each other out.”

Jamie looked at the horse again. He had the same look in his

eyes she usually did when she went to the negotiation table. And

she never walked away the loser. “You’re sure this is a good idea?”

“Of course. By the time you see us in the Country Classic,

we’ll be working as a team.”

They slid off the fence and returned to the main barn. Jamie

tried to ignore the ringing crash as the stallion connected with the

fence again. At least it didn’t sound as if he had broken through this

time.“I free jumped him yesterday,” Kate told her as they walked.

“That means I turned him loose in the arena and let him go over

some jumps without a rider,” she explained. “He’s as good as Marty

said. He’s definitely got the talent to make it to the Olympics.”

“And you want to be on him when he does?”

“Of course,” Kate replied in a confident voice as she led Jamie

into the barn. Jamie halted, shaken by a vision of Kate trying to

control the stallion, and even more by her sudden realization. She

wished Kate had said no.

Kate turned back and saw Jamie watching her with a frown.

“Are you coming?” she asked. Jamie only nodded and followed her

to the crossties where Myra was grooming a small horse while Chris

and Anna watched. The animal was a nondescriptlooking chestnutandwhite pinto with a Roman nose and large ears. Kate adored the shaggy beast, but she had to admit he was nothing much to look at,

especially after witnessing the impressive Guns Blazing.

“Wow, he’s really…Ouch!” Jamie said when Kate pinched her

arm midsentence. She could comment on the pinto’s looks, but she

wouldn’t let Jamie insult him.

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“Don’t you dare call Spot ugly around me or anyone else here,”

Kate threatened in a low voice.

“Spot?” Jamie repeated with a strangled laugh. “God, you’re

kidding, aren’t you?”

“I am not. He’s one of my best horses, and I wouldn’t trade him

for a million dollars,” Kate said. She flushed a bright red when she

realized she was trying to do exactly that, with Jamie’s help. “Oops,

I shouldn’t have said that.”

Jamie laughed, and Anna looked over with a surprised

expression at the sound. Kate hadn’t heard Jamie laugh much in

the short time she had known her, and she doubted Anna did either.

Jamie walked over to her niece and ruffled her hair. “Hey, kid,” she

said, winking at Kate, “let’s go meet Spot, prince among horses.”

Kate stood back as Jamie lifted Anna and took her over to the

horse. Kate noticed a slight hesitation before every move Jamie

made, as if the touching, the closeness were new to her. Anna

wrapped one arm tightly around Jamie’s neck while she shyly patted

the horse with the other, and Spot stood with his eyes halfclosed

while she fussed over him. Myra stepped closer and handed Anna a

soft brush, showing her how to use it to groom Spot’s coat, then she

held her arms out and Anna moved willingly to her. Jamie looked

lost as she stepped away. Kate wanted to touch her, to reassure her,

but she only moved so she was standing close to Jamie.

“I didn’t expect anyone else to be here,” Jamie said quietly

while Anna’s attention was on her task.

“It takes three volunteers for most of our riders,” Kate said,

following Jamie’s gaze to Chris. “Two sidewalkers and one person

to lead the horse.”

“I could have…” Jamie started, but Kate held up her hand.

“I don’t like to have family members supporting the riders,

especially at first. They tend to be more protective and can even do

more harm than good if they panic and try to pull the child off the

horse.”

“I don’t panic,” Jamie informed her icily.

“Funny,” Kate said, “I remember at the party you threatened

to take Anna off if you even had a hint something was wrong.” She

winced at her unintended reference to Friday night.

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“I remember a few things from that party,” Jamie said, leaning

close to Kate’s ear. “But not that.”

Kate cleared her throat, wishing she could as easily clear her

mind of images of her and Jamie together. She changed the subject

back to riding to conceal her awkward emotions. She explained how

they would support Anna’s legs but not actually hold on to her, so

she would need to use her own muscles to support herself.

“We’ll drape an arm across her thigh but not grip her legs at all

so we won’t accidentally pull her off balance,” she continued.

Jamie watched Chris and Myra as they laughed along with

something Anna said. She fought the tension between her rising

panic and the pleasure of seeing Anna smiling and happy. Myra

quickly saddled the patient pinto, and the group headed over to

the arena where Chris brought out a couple of riding helmets for

Anna to try on. The helmet made the dangers real. Jamie decided

she couldn’t go through with it, and she took hold of Kate’s arm,

leading her away from the others.

“Look,” she said when they were out of earshot. “I don’t know

if it’s a good idea to have Anna ride today.”

“Anna seems relaxed around the horses,” Kate said gently.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s just that she isn’t used to being around strangers, especially

men. I don’t know how she’ll react to having Chris holding her like

you said.”

Kate glanced over to where Chris was kneeling, talking to

Anna. She was giggling as he put his toolarge cowboy hat on her

head.“I’ve known him a long time,” Kate said. “I’d trust him with

my own child without hesitating.” She looked back at Jamie, her

eyes concerned, and Jamie met Kate’s gaze, carefully keeping her

expression shuttered. She wouldn’t back down on this.

Kate must have recognized that because she suggested a

compromise. “Maybe Anna would be more comfortable if Myra and

I were her sidewalkers. Chris can lead Spot.”

Jamie let herself get lost in Kate’s eyes for a moment as she

struggled with her trepidation. She had finally gotten accustomed

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to trusting Anna’s doctors and physical therapists and now she had

a whole new set of people to allow close to her niece. Kate seemed

to sense her agitation, and she lifted a hand and gently threaded her

fingers through the bangs that fell over Jamie’s forehead. “She’ll be

safe,” Kate said quietly. “You’re right here.”

Jamie felt her breath catch at Kate’s simple touch, and she

nodded silently before stepping away to check on Anna one last

time. The little girl was wearing a safety helmet with a Mickey

Mouse sticker on it and Jamie squatted next to her wheelchair.

“You nervous, kid?” she asked in a whisper. Anna nodded, her

blue eyes wide.

“Me too,” Jamie admitted. “I think we’ll deserve a doublescoop hot fudge sundae after this ride.”

“With whipped cream?” Anna asked as Chris led Spot toward

them.“Of course.” Jamie locked eyes with Kate as she came to wheel

Anna up the ramp. She put on her best boardroom glare so Kate

would know she had better take good care of her niece.

“Come on, Anna,” Kate said, tossing a smile over her shoulder

at Jamie. “I think your aunt is scared of this sweet little horse. Let’s

show her there’s nothing to worry about.”

❖

Kate forced aside the fleeting glimpse of vulnerability she had

seen in Jamie’s eyes so she could concentrate instead on getting

Anna safely into the saddle. Jamie had been so cold when she

arrived, so at odds with the passionate woman from Friday who

had ripped aside every barrier Kate had erected around herself. She

had apparently been untouched by the kiss that had battered Kate’s

defenses, but it seemed she wasn’t immune to jealousy. Kate guiltily

knew the peck on the cheek she had given LeeAnne at the beginning

of the evening wasn’t a kiss in the same sense as what happened

between her and Jamie, but she had been glad to see some spark

of emotion in Jamie’s eyes when she mentioned it. Except for her

brief laughter over poor Spot’s name, Jamie had seemed her usual

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arrogant self, intent on making Kate realize how little she cared

about anything. Until she admitted her concern about Chris.

One of the main reasons Kate didn’t let parents work with their

own children was they often transmitted their fears to the child.

Unlike her complicated aunt, Anna was easy enough for Kate to

read, and all she saw in her was the expected anxiety as she faced a

new experience. She hadn’t shown any nervousness around Chris or

Myra, and like many of the handicapped kids Kate dealt with, she

was accustomed to the assistance and touch of others. Kate guessed

Jamie had her own reasons for her concern. She suspected it might

be connected to the difficult childhood Jamie had hinted at in the

restaurant, but Kate stopped herself there. The idea was too painful

to consider right now, when she had to focus on Anna’s safety and

wellbeing.

She pushed Anna up a ramp leading to a large mounting

platform with steps going down the other side. Spot stood quietly

next to it, with Chris holding him in place and Myra standing on

a block of wood on his off side. Kate easily picked Anna up in her

arms and set her on top of the patient horse, all the while explaining

what she was doing in a loud enough voice for Jamie to hear, too.

She draped her forearm over Anna’s lifeless thigh and gripped the

saddle’s flap. Once Myra was in the same position on the opposite

side, Kate told Chris to start walking Spot.

Anna gave a little shriek as the unaccustomed movement

made her lurch a little, but Kate resisted the urge to try to help her

balance. Instead she told her to hold on to the curved bar that had

been specially made for her therapy saddle and shot a warning look

at Jamie who had come close and looked ready to snatch her niece

to safety.

They walked slowly around the rail of the indoor arena while

Anna kept a death grip on the saddle and Jamie circled nearby, a

stern expression on her face, looking dangerous in her black jeans

and tight Tshirt. Myra hummed the theme from Jaws under her

breath, reminding Kate of her reference to sharks after her first

meeting with Jamie. Kate fought an urge to giggle and instead raised

her voice as she talked to Anna, trying to drown out her friend’s

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laughter. She kept up with the latest television shows and the teen

pop stars her students liked, so she brought up a few until she heard

a spark of interest in Anna’s stiff responses. She latched on to the

topic of a recent Animal Planet special and soon Anna was relaxed

enough to join in the conversation.

A couple more turns around the arena, and Anna was comfortable

enough to let go of the saddle and wave at her aunt. Kate took

advantage of Anna’s increasing relaxation and encouraged the girl

to pat Spot in various places. As she leaned over to rub his shoulder

or scratch behind the saddle, she gradually grew more confident in

her ability to move and balance. Jamie, in turn, had finally stopped

her stealthy prowl and instead paced in and out of the arena door.

Kate was relieved to see such small accomplishments, and soon she

had Chris stop Spot near the door while she called out for Jamie

to bring Anna’s chair over to them. The ride had only lasted ten

minutes, but Kate knew Anna would feel the effects of the new

exercise and she didn’t want to overdo it on the first try. She also had

an intuitive sense that Jamie’s nerves were frayed enough for one

day. Kate had only seen a cold businesswoman when she’d first met

Jamie. But after watching her with Anna and getting glimpses into

her past, Kate could see a hint of the insecurities and fears, the love

and compassion, that burned behind Jamie’s controlled expression.

She carefully took Anna off Spot and returned her to the safety

of her chair before bending down to return the little girl’s hug. When

she stood, Jamie surprised her by stepping forward and wrapping

Kate in her arms. Kate returned the embrace, her hands sliding over

the muscles under Jamie’s fitted shirt and her whole body responding

to the warmth and strength she felt. Resisting her sudden rush of

desire, Kate stiffened to keep from melting into Jamie’s arms. A

whispered thank you was breathed on her neck, followed by a gentle

kiss, before Jamie stepped away.

They left Chris and Myra to care for Spot and walked to Jamie’s

car. Kate wavered between the urge to apologize yet again for her

behavior on Friday and the more insistent wish to forget the whole

night.“Thanks for spending so much time with us today,” Jamie said.

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Worth the risk

“Thank you,” Anna echoed.

Kate gave Anna’s shoulder a squeeze. “It was my pleasure.”

Kate straightened and looked at Jamie. “I hope you’ll come

tomorrow,” she said.

Jamie smiled. “That would be my pleasure.”

“To the therapy lesson,” Kate added. She and Jamie always

seemed to be carrying on two conversations at once. One on the

surface, and a second disconcerting one of subtext.

Jamie lifted Anna out of her chair. “We’ll be here,” she said

over her shoulder. “Won’t we, kid?”

It was with a sense of relief that Kate watched Jamie finally

get in the driver’s seat and start the car. Kate’s main intention

today had been to bring a smile to Anna’s face, but she had also

seen the afternoon as an opportunity to repair some of the damage

she had done by letting herself slip out of control with Jamie at the

party. She was too tangled up with her. Their relationship should

have been so simple, with clearly defined rules they both accepted

and understood. Instead, they seemed to clash somehow, as if they

had separate agendas, while still being drawn together by some

unknown force. Even Kate’s personal relationships rarely seemed

this personal. Most of Kate’s students and their parents hugged her

after the therapy lessons, reaching out in gratitude or for reassurance

or sympathy. But Jamie’s embrace was different, and she still felt

the imprint of Jamie’s body pressed against her own. Jamie had

trusted Kate with her secrets, her fear. And Kate had let Jamie see

her without her socialite clothes and mask in place. There were

layers of fabric between them, people around them, but Kate felt

they were both naked, raw, when Jamie held her.

She waved goodbye to Anna as Jamie’s Mercedes slowly

made its way down her driveway. She decided she must be insane,

because as glad as she was to have Jamie off her property, she was

already looking forward to seeing her at Anna’s lesson the next day.

Kate’s regular teaching had always been a great networking tool. Her

rates were steep enough so she attracted a highend clientele, and

her students won enough to keep their wealthy parents happy. She

had hoped she could work the same magic today, impressing Jamie

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and helping Anna in one swoop. Instead, she had gotten snared in

their complex relationship, and she found herself wanting to know

more about Jamie and the reasons behind her fears. Her rational

side knew delving into someone’s personal life rarely was a good

business decision, but for once, other parts of her were shouting

down rationality. She turned back to the barn. Maybe cleaning some

stalls would help her come to her senses.

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Chapter nine

Jamie drove a much happier Anna to her first official

lesson the next afternoon, relieved that this time she didn’t

have to bother examining her motives to figure out why she was

looking forward to seeing Kate again. She needed to meet the other

volunteers before she’d be willing to step back and let Elaine take

Anna to the barn. She met personally with every one of the constant

stream of doctors and physical therapists who worked with her niece.

Jamie had no qualms about walking out of an appointment if either

she or Anna felt uncomfortable, and she would do it again today

if necessary. After yesterday’s trial ride, however, she felt more at

ease with the prospect of a group lesson than she had expected. She

was a little uncomfortable with the suspicion that Kate had read

too much into her hesitation about Chris yesterday, but at the same

time she was relieved to be understood. Anna needed touch, from

her doctors and therapists and Elaine, but Jamie had to protect her,

even if it meant she had to let Kate close enough to see her worries,

closer than anyone had ever been. The vulnerability she felt was

worthwhile since she had no doubt Kate would be careful about who

worked with Anna.

“Hi, Anna,” Kate called out. “Come meet the other riders in

your lesson.”

Jamie pushed Anna’s chair over to the arena. “This is Anna,

and her aunt Jamie,” Kate said. “And this is Alex, his mom Bev, and

Gwen.”

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karis Walsh

“Hello, Alex,” Jamie said even though he didn’t seem aware of

her presence. She shook hands with Bev and Gwen.

“C’mon Anna, let’s get ready for the lesson.” Kate took charge

of Anna’s chair, leaving Jamie with Alex’s mom.

“Is this Anna’s first ride?” Bev asked while the students were

being fitted with helmets.

“She was on for a few minutes yesterday,” Jamie said, watching

Kate as she knelt by Anna’s chair and checked the straps of her

safety helmet. Seeing the two of them talking and laughing like old

friends made Jamie’s throat tighten. Kate had gotten closer to Anna

in a couple of days than Jamie had in nine years. She thought she

should be jealous, but she felt proud. To see Anna trying a new and

exciting activity. To see Kate making a difference in her students’

lives. And she felt proud to be here with them.

“Alex has been coming here for just over a year,” Bev

continued, her tired eyes following her son. “He’s autistic. When he

first started, he wasn’t verbal at all, but now he says a few words.”

Jamie could hear the pride and awe in Bev’s voice. Such a

simple accomplishment in some ways, but to this woman it was like

a miracle. “Kate’s wonderful with the kids,” Bev continued. “I’m

sure Anna will love riding as well.”

Jamie could only nod as Kate joined them again. “You okay?”

she asked quietly, her hand on Jamie’s arm as she looked into her

eyes with concern.

“I’m fine,” Jamie assured her, squeezing Kate’s hand briefly.

The small touch, the simple understanding, shook Jamie more

intimately than sex ever had. She quickly pulled her hand away out

of habit and was surprised by the desire to reach out to Kate again.

Kate nodded. “You’ll be walking with Chris and Alex, and Bev

and Myra will be with Anna.”

Jamie watched Bev walk over to check on her son before the

ride. This was a new experience for her, and she felt overwhelmed

at the sudden responsibility she would have for this woman’s child.

She would protect him, and in turn she had to trust Bev to take care

of her own niece.

“It’s better this way,” Kate said. “Really, it is.”

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Jamie met her beautiful eyes and smiled. “I’m beginning to

understand that,” she said. Kate looked like she wanted to say

something more, but Chris came over to them, and the moment was

lost. “Hey, dude, Alex is riding Frosty. C’mon over and I’ll show

you what to do.” He headed toward a roan mare.

“Did he just call me…?” Jamie started to ask.

“Everyone’s dude to Chris,” Kate interrupted, laughing at

Jamie’s expression. “Don’t worry, you don’t look like one at all.”

Her gaze briefly traveled over the front of the purple tank top Jamie

wore with her jeans.

Jamie felt as if Kate had fondled her in front of everyone.

“Careful,” Jamie muttered, not really sure which one of them she

was warning.

Although Chris looked a little flaky to Jamie, he was serious

when it came to her role in the lesson. He carefully explained how

she was to support Alex, and ran through some examples of things

that could possibly go wrong and how she should handle them. That

part made Jamie feel a little sick, but she ignored the feeling and

focused like a good student. Chris untied Frosty and led her over to

the mounting block, telling Jamie to wait until they had Alex on and

away from the ramp before she came over and took Kate’s place at

his side.

Jamie waved at Anna, who was waiting her turn near the ramp,

and then stepped in and slipped her arm under Kate’s where it rested

on Alex’s thigh. She had to be close to Kate so Alex was never left

without support, and she let her free hand briefly rest on Kate’s hip.

Her fingers flexed against the soft denim, and the casual contact

left Jamie wanting more. A dangerous addiction. She thought Kate

leaned into her touch for a second, but she figured it was just her

imagination. Once she was in place, the teenaged girl who was

leading Frosty, one of Kate’s students, started walking around the

arena.It felt awkward at first for Jamie to be around the little boy.

Besides Anna, she rarely was around children unless a client brought

one along to a meeting, and even then she only interacted enough

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to be polite. She let Chris handle the talking and she simply walked

alongside, but occasionally he would switch to a low tone and explain

something to her. She grew more comfortable with the situation as

she understood more about Alex’s needs. Chris told her they tried

to keep the external stimuli simple for an autistic child like Alex, so

he could find one thing to focus on and not get overwhelmed. She

eventually joined in as they took turns running Alex’s hands over

Frosty’s neck or mane, and she cheered along with her little group

the one time he seemed aware of the mare enough to say horsie.

Once Kate had the three students mounted, she spent the lesson

moving among them. They had such different needs, and Jamie

watched in amazement as Kate changed every time she moved to

a new group. Her years of training as a social chameleon worked

for her as she adapted her teaching to fit the students, changing her

tone and teaching methods for each of them. At the same time, there

was never a hint that she wasn’t genuinely interested in each one of

them. With Alex, she concentrated on simple objects and textures,

handing him soft toys and repeating their names to try to get him to

echo her words. Gwen was able to ride on her own, and it looked

to Jamie like Kate was acting as a friend as well as instructor. She

led Gwen through some stretching exercises, but much of the time

she walked by her side and listened intently to her. With Anna, the

games were more complex since she could pick up objects and throw

balls through hoops. Jamie had been to enough therapy sessions to

recognize that Kate had her niece bending and moving in ways that

would stretch her muscles and challenge her balance.

By the end of the lesson, Jamie had grown quite impressed with

Kate’s skills. Yesterday’s ride had been simply a fun experience

for Anna, but today was so much more. Kate’s ability to adapt in

order to best communicate with her riders reminded Jamie of Kate’s

smooth transitions at the Hadleys’ party. Most of all, though, Kate

was so compassionate and encouraging that Jamie could sense the

students’ and volunteers’ desire to please her. She felt a sense of

pride as she watched her teach, and she insisted to herself it was

only because she felt good about bringing Anna here. It had nothing

at all to do with her own feelings for Kate.

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❖

Kate walked alongside Gwen and listened as she described the

ways she’d managed her MS during the past week. She fought to

ignore Jamie, who had watched her with those sharp eyes during the

whole lesson, and she came up with a few exercises to help Gwen

with the stiffness she had been experiencing lately. While Gwen

used the stirrups to help stretch her muscles, Kate quickly glanced

around the ring to make sure everyone else was okay. Jamie met her

gaze and gave her a wink before turning her attention back to Alex.

Kate rolled her eyes and turned back to Gwen. They chatted about

Gwen’s daughter for several minutes, and then it was time to move

on to Anna.

Kate had stashed a few stuffed animals around the ring and

she led Anna on a scavenger hunt to find them. She started with

some that were easy to reach, but as Anna started to figure out how

to adjust her weight as she moved in the saddle, Kate had the girl

stretching high and low to get them. She knew Jamie was taking

good care of Alex, but she had no doubt Jamie was also aware of

everything that was going on with Anna. And with Kate. She felt

Jamie’s attention with a prickly awareness that was both exciting

and confusing. And very distracting.

Kate finally moved back to Alex and spent some time

handing him rings that were easy to grab. While she encouraged

the distracted boy to notice them long enough to take a grip and

hold them, she could see how much Jamie had figured out about the

process. She had expected her to remain aloof, doing her job and

not getting involved, but Jamie clearly could recognize the small

increments of Alex’s progress. When he finally closed his fingers

over the ring long enough to keep it in his grasp, she slid those long

fingers of hers over his and praised him in a warm voice. Kate was

so surprised she almost tripped over a jump, and Jamie’s free arm

reached out to grab her.

“You can let go now,” Kate murmured in a low voice when

Jamie kept her free hand lightly on Kate’s waist as they walked.

Jamie pulled her closer, steering her around another jump, and Kate

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felt her arm brush against Jamie’s breast. The light contact traveled

straight to her groin.

“You seem to trip a lot,” Jamie observed, withdrawing her arm.

Kate felt a blush creep over her face as she moved out of Jamie’s

reach. It was a common joke at these lessons that she often got so

distracted with her students she would stumble over poles and even

other horses while teaching. Jamie had rescued her several times

already during the lesson, and Kate was still reeling from having

Jamie’s hands on her so often. The realization that she could have

simply approached Alex from Chris’s side instead of Jamie’s made

her face grow hotter. She walked to the center of the ring, out of

reach.“Remember, I’ll be at a show next week, so we won’t have a

lesson until a week from next Tuesday,” Kate announced as the riders

finished their class. She was almost glad to see the lesson come to

an end. It was exhausting to try to keep track of three students with

such different needs while trying so desperately to ignore Jamie’s

observant gaze. The almost playful touching every time they were

near each other had frayed Kate’s nerves. Her body responded so

intensely to Jamie’s touch she felt as drained as she would after an

afternoon of sex.

Kate trailed behind the group as the volunteers led the horses

back to the barn. Either she gave in to her desire to get closer to

Jamie, or she made the effort to bring their relationship back to a

professional level. While the first choice had immediate appeal,

the second was the only one that made sense for her. A lifetime of

dreaming for a chance like the stallion couldn’t be thrown away on

what would probably be a short-lived, difficult affair, if Jamie let

her close enough even for that much. It was time for a little damage

control and a whole lot of distance.

“Hey, Kate,” Myra called as Kate slowly caught up to the

others. “Did you ask Jamie if she’d check out your grant proposal?”

“No,” Kate answered shortly. And she wasn’t about to. She

wouldn’t be able to relax until she got Jamie off her property and

out of arm’s reach. “I’m sure she has better—”

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Jamie held up her hand to stop Kate’s sentence. “What grant

proposal?” she asked Myra.

“Well, when Kate moves back east, I’d like to keep her therapy

program going,” Myra said, oblivious to Kate’s attempts to shut her

up. “At least what I can manage outside of my regular teaching at

the high school. I’ll be starting from scratch, though, so I’ll need

some cash to get it going. Kate drew up a grant application, but I

thought you could take a look at it and make sure it’s all in order.”

“I’d be glad to,” Jamie said before turning to Kate. “Why are

you waving your arms like that?”

Kate sighed, shooting an irritated glare at Myra. “We don’t

want to waste your time—” she started before Jamie broke in.

“Nonsense, I’m happy to do it.”

“Great,” said Myra, pushing Kate toward her house. “Go get

the proposal and we’ll meet you in the lounge. Chris, you can finish

up out here, can’t you?”

❖

Jamie was sitting on the lounge sofa drinking a Coke with

Myra and Anna when Kate returned with a thick binder and her

laptop. Kate handed the binder to Jamie and set her computer on a

table near the door.

“I thought Anna and I could play on the computer while you

two chat,” Kate said before sitting with her back to Jamie.

Jamie opened the binder and started to read, trying to keep her

eyes from wandering to the whiteblond ponytail that hung down

Kate’s back. Her fingers almost twitched in their desire to rub Kate’s

shoulders, to knead away the tension Jamie saw there. She knew the

short hour of riding time had been draining on Kate as she struggled

to give each rider such complete attention.

“Hey, Kate,” she called, drawing her attention away from the

computer. “I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but wouldn’t

it be easier to have a lesson made up of students with similar needs?”

Kate sighed. “I’d love that,” she admitted. “So kids like Anna

could play games together. And Gwen would enjoy a lesson with

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other adults who have MS so it could be more of a support group

than just an exercise session. But I can’t afford time away from my

regular students for so many lessons, plus I’d need more horses and

some paid staff instead of relying on volunteers.”

Kate pointed at the binder Jamie held. “I go into that in the

proposal as well. I’ve had a lot of ideas about how I could make the

lessons more effective with the extra funding.”

Jamie nodded and turned back to the grant. She read through

the detailed plans that would take Kate’s parttime program and turn

it into a serious business.

“Are you up for this?” she asked Myra cautiously. She didn’t

want to insult her, but what Kate was proposing went beyond a

simple afterwork project. She kept her voice pitched low so she

wouldn’t interrupt Kate and Anna, who seemed intent on their

computer program.

Myra shook her head. “That’s why I wanted you to see the

proposal. I could handle the program the way it’s run now, just a

few hours a week. But I’m worried she’s turning it into something

bigger, and I can’t quit my job to do this.”

Jamie ripped a clean sheet of paper out of the back of the

notebook and started jotting down page numbers. “You’ll need

to get her to change these sections,” she said, showing Myra the

areas where Kate had gotten carried away with her own vision of

expansion. “And this whole part needs to go, unless you’re planning

to buy a barn and implement these improvements.”

“No, I’d have to board the horses somewhere.” Myra leaned

over Jamie’s shoulder and read her notes. “I’ll never be as good at

this as she is, but I’d hate to see the program end when she moves.”

Jamie finished her page of recommended changes to the

proposal, and then she took a fresh sheet of paper and quickly jotted

estimates of the dollar amounts Myra would need for each facet of

the program.

“Here’s a more reasonable estimate of the allocation of funds.

I’m just guessing with these numbers, of course, since I’m still not

overly familiar with the horse business. I’m sure you and Kate can

be more specific.”

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Myra read over her list and gave a low whistle. “For someone

who’s new to the horse world, you certainly catch on quickly. I

appreciate your help with this.”

“My pleasure,” Jamie said, tucking her notes into the binder

and handing it to Myra. “When it’s anything to do with numbers, I

tend to pick it up fast.”

“Is that why you got into banking? Or is it just the money?”

Myra seemed honestly interested, her earlier sarcasm vanishing

as Jamie helped her sort through the intricacies of the grant process,

so Jamie tried to answer truthfully.

“I’m good at math, and I am pretty fond of money as well, but

it’s more than that. I’ve just always liked banks, I suppose. They give

you security, and not just financially. You can keep documents there,

or money, and they’ll guarantee it’s safe,” she said with a shrug. “I

worked my way through college and my MBA as a teller, and when

I started looking for a job as an investment analyst, I focused on the

banking industry because I knew it so well.”

“I would have thought you’d have to move to New York or

Chicago to really make a fortune at your job.”

Jamie shrugged again. “I would be able to make more in a

bigger market, but Portland is home. I do well enough here.”

Anna’s laugh over something on the computer made Jamie turn

her attention back to her niece and Kate as they intently discussed

whatever was on the laptop’s screen. She didn’t elaborate to Myra,

but Anna was the main reason Jamie had remained in Oregon.

She had originally considered the idea of moving east after Sara

left home, but once Anna was born she quickly gave up that plan.

She would never have sacrificed either the rare occasions she was

allowed to see her niece while Sara was alive, or the unending hope

she still might be able to make a difference in Sara’s life. She hadn’t

done a good job parenting either Sara or Anna, but she had been

the only one around to try. Since the accident, she’d worked hard to

surround Anna with a supportive and competent medical staff, and

she wouldn’t simply uproot her. Her employers knew she wasn’t

planning to leave Portland, but they were also well aware she had

the skills needed to be successful on a bigger scale than Davison and

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Burke. They made the effort to keep her happy at her job, and she

had never regretted staying.

“What are they doing?” she asked in order to change the

subject, raising her voice enough to get Kate’s attention.

“It’s some sort of simulated horse farm,” Myra answered with

a shake of her head. “She spends all day taking care of horses and

cleaning stalls. God knows why she feels the urge to create a fantasy

barn after all that.”

“Sounds crazy,” Jamie agreed with a laugh, although she

certainly could understand loving your job so much it felt like a

hobby.

“Aunt Jamie can’t play computer games,” Anna informed Kate,

her voice serious.

“Aunt Jamie doesn’t like to play computer games,” she told her

niece firmly. “There’s a difference.”

Kate threw a glance over her shoulder at Jamie and then

whispered something that made Anna giggle.

“If you’re going to encourage insubordination, I think it’s time

for us to go,” Jamie said with mock seriousness.

Myra stood up when she did. “I’ll go make sure Chris is okay

with the horses, so you can walk them out, Kate,” she said, smiling

at her friend’s glaring expression. “Thanks for your help, Jamie.”

“Anytime,” she answered, pushing Anna’s chair out of the door

Kate held open for them. They walked silently to the car and she

carefully buckled Anna inside.

“I’m impressed with the work you’re doing here,” she admitted

to Kate as they stood facing each other in the driveway. “Thanks for

opening this up for Anna, for us.”

Kate just nodded, as if not trusting herself to speak, and Jamie

took that opportunity to step closer. She raised her hand and traced

the faint stain of red that colored Kate’s cheeks every time she

came near. Jamie was turned on by the visible evidence of Kate’s

awareness, her arousal, and she wanted to explore a little deeper and

find out what other responses Kate might be hiding.

“You’re not thinking of LeeAnne right now, are you?” Jamie

couldn’t help asking.

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Kate frowned. “No. That wasn’t…I might have exaggerated…”

She broke off in confusion, and Jamie felt a slow smile spread over

her face. It suddenly seemed so natural to bend down and give her a

kiss goodbye, to give in to the urge to slide her hands along Kate’s

jaw and into her hair. She finally forced herself to release Kate’s

lips, staying close and resting her forehead against Kate’s.

“We’ve got to stop doing this,” she observed calmly, as if that

simple, chaste kiss hadn’t just raised her blood pressure dangerously

high.“Seems to me you’re the one who always starts it,” Kate said.

Jamie smiled and backed toward her car door.

“I haven’t heard a no yet,” she said.

• 113 •

• 114 •

Worth the risk

Chapter ten

The city was still colored in the muted grays of predawn

when Jamie lowered her light scull into the Willamette

River. She slipped off the dock and settled onto the narrow seat

without jostling the boat, her movements precise and economical

after years of practice. She pushed away from the dock at an angle,

her sigh echoing the light splash of water against the bow as the

narrow scull nosed into the current. She rowed with the river’s flow

for a few hundred yards as a warmup before she turned to head

downstream.

Portland had yet to fully wake to the new business day, but a

few early risers shared the river with Jamie. Some jogged or biked

along the paved path in the riverfront park next to the Willamette,

and there were a couple of scullers upstream, but still Jamie felt the

relaxed isolation of a solitary rower. She had rowed on an eightcrew

sweep during college, and she enjoyed the exercise and camaraderie

she experienced as a member of the team. But it was only on her

solo trips that she felt such peace and strength in moving through the

water on only her own power.

This morning, the sense of peace took longer than usual to set

in. The puddles made by her oars were uneven and choppy, and

twice she rapped the knuckles of her right hand smartly with the

left oar, something she hadn’t done since her first lessons. She kept

going, using her back and legs to push the scull against the current,

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karis Walsh

fighting to tire her body enough so it would take over and force her

mind to be silent.

Her thoughts kept returning to the day before. Anna had spent

the whole car ride home chattering happily about Kate and Spot.

Jamie, luckily not expected to do more than listen, found she was

fascinated by Anna’s perception of the ride. To the wheelchairbound girl, the horse’s slow gait had seemed fast and powerful, and she had enjoyed being taller than everyone else for once. Now that

her niece had safely returned to the ground, Jamie could relax and

appreciate how much the experience had meant to her. Still, she had

never expected to be so glad to see Anna in her chair as she was after

the short ride.

She was willing to let Anna continue with lessons, but from

now on Elaine would be the one to drive her there. Jamie trusted

her, and she found she was trusting Kate, with the most precious

thing in her life. The worrisome part was she was tempted to trust

Kate with herself. With her memories and stories, with her failures

and the despair that she could ever atone for them. That was a risk

Jamie couldn’t take, one she hadn’t dared take since she was a child,

and she knew it would be better to avoid seeing Kate in a social

setting. She would keep their interactions professional from now

on. She had told Elaine exactly that the night before, hinting that

her participation in Anna’s lessons would be inappropriate given

her business relationship with Kate. She hadn’t mentioned that

every time they were near each other, she wanted to throw all of her

professional ideals aside and simply take Kate in her arms.

Two more weeks. Jamie chanted in her mind in time to the dip

of her oars. Kate’s million-dollar horse had finally arrived and she

would have a week and a half to get him settled and accustomed

to her before the big show. Then a weekend of lounging in the

hospitality tent, watching Kate ride, and Jamie would need to make

her final decision. Two more weeks, and they would be free of each

other. And if Kate got her money, she would be out of the state and

Jamie could find a new place for Anna to ride. Someplace where she

could be sure Anna, and her own heart, would be safe.

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By the time Jamie’s scull shot past her imaginary finish line,

her rhythm had settled down to the beat of two more weeks. The twin

ripples left by the blades of her oars were symmetrical and tight, and

the boat moved straight and steady through the water. Jamie had

pushed herself to competition speed in order to tame her mind, and

she felt the effects of the workout in her aching shoulders and lower

back. She turned downstream toward the dock and let the little scull

drift in the current while she caught her breath. Her thinking had

calmed, but not by much, and she knew she’d have to row the entire

length of Oregon if she wanted to drive thoughts of Kate fully from

her mind.

❖

Jamie’s determination to stay away from Kate lasted all the

way until Friday morning. A consortium of local lawyers she had

been courting for several months finally signed on with Davison

and Burke, and she had spent nearly every waking hour over the

previous three days analyzing their existing investment portfolio

and detailing the changes she wanted to make. She worked with a

fevered intensity in an attempt to distract herself from thoughts of

Kate. Although she enjoyed the smaller projects she did for Dave

Randall, she was relieved to be out of the depressing, and inevitable,

lull between large jobs.

By Friday, however, she had the bulk of work completed and

only needed a few hours to tidy up the presentation for Monday’s

meeting. She gathered her papers and locked her office, telling Jenn

to take the rest of the day off. She left the building with a big smile,

amazed she had finally managed to turn her assistant speechless. It

felt good to get past her without a snide remark for once.

Jamie sat in her car and debated whether she should go home

or not, since she knew Anna was at school, but she quickly gave

up the pretense and decided to call Kate. It had been a productive,

satisfying week at work, and she told herself there was nothing

unusual about wanting to share that feeling with someone. Still, she

couldn’t admit any of that to Kate because it sounded too much like

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a friendship, so while she dialed her phone she searched instead for

a businessrelated excuse to see her.

❖

“Cedar Grove.” Kate answered her phone as she stretched

across the tailgate of her pickup truck and tugged on the corner of

a bag of grain.

“Kate?”

“Yeah,” Kate said. She slid the grain across the bed of the truck

and dropped her phone as she tried to pick up the heavy bag with

one hand. “Damn. Hello?”

“Kate, it’s Jamie.” Kate stopped fumbling with the feed and

focused on the call. “If you’re not busy, I’d like to come watch you

ride the stallion. Then I can determine how much progress you make

by the show.”

Kate looked at the truck full of fifty-pound sacks of feed. “No,

I’m not busy,” she said. “When did you want to come?”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Kate shoved the phone in her pocket and sagged against the

truck. Perfect. Leave it to Jamie to pick the worst possible time to

visit. A shrill whinny from the stallion’s paddock jolted her back to

life. She mentally listed the hour’s worth of jobs she needed to cram

into fifteen minutes.

Clothes first. Kate jogged to her house and sifted through the

closet, grabbing the cleanest pair of breeches she could find. She

pulled them on and picked out a matching shirt. She seemed to

spend a lot of time dressing for Jamie. Trying to impress her. Kate

couldn’t deny her interest in Jamie and her obvious attraction to

her, but those feelings didn’t belong in their relationship. Jamie had

control of her future. She could call and announce her arrival as

if she was visiting royalty, and Kate had to drop everything and

perform on demand.

Kate hurried back to the barn. She had groomed the stallion

earlier, so she could leave him for last. She hung her shirt in the

tack room to keep it clean and started putting away the feed wearing

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Worth the risk

only a sports bra with her breeches. The bags left streaks of dust

on her arms as she hoisted them on her shoulder one by one and

hauled them into the barn without stopping to catch her breath. She

would ache tomorrow, thanks to Jamie and her spot inspection.

Kate’s anger grew with every heavy sack. She had thought they

were growing closer during the therapy rides, but Jamie was back to

business today. Kate dropped the final bag and used an old towel to

wipe sweat and dust off her arms and chest. She buttoned her shirt

and masked her emotions. She could be professional as well.

❖

“He’s not as wellbehaved as Spot,” Jamie observed as she

walked down the barn aisle toward the crossties. The large chestnut

danced back and forth in the confined space, neighing occasionally

in a loud, ringing voice. Kate easily stepped out of his way, seeming

to anticipate his moves. Her movements were calm, but her face was

flushed with annoyance. Jamie wasn’t sure if she or the stallion was

the most irritating to Kate at the moment, but she was glad to at least

have some competition in that battle.

“One of my mares is in heat,” Kate said, slipping a bridle over

the stallion’s ears. “They’ve been calling to each other all day.”

She took a firm hold on the reins and led the stallion toward her

outdoor arena. He jigged behind her, tossing his head in impatience.

Jamie remained where she was standing in the barn.

“Are you coming, or do you plan to watch from up here?” Kate

snapped over her shoulder.

Jamie ignored her angry tone, blaming it on the stallion that

was nipping testily at Kate’s arm. “Look, I really don’t need to watch

you ride. I don’t want you to get hurt because I made you do this.”

“I was planning to school him this morning anyway, so don’t

think I’m out here because of you. He’ll be fine once I get in the

saddle. Besides, I can use your help setting jumps.”

Jamie followed reluctantly. This had seemed like a convenient

excuse for her visit, but now she regretted being the reason Kate was

going to ride. Jamie wasn’t pleased with the prospect of watching a

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rodeo event, but she couldn’t leave Kate out there alone. Kate closed

the arena’s gate behind them and tightened the stallion’s girth before

turning back to Jamie.

“Can you give me a leg up?” she asked. Jamie went over and

took hold of Kate’s bent knee, then dropped it again.

“Are you sure about this?” she asked, standing close behind

Kate.“Just put me on the damned horse,” Kate said. She bent her

knee again and this time Jamie lifted her easily into the saddle. She

let her palm rest on Kate’s leg as her thumb idly wiped at a smudge

of dirt on Kate’s beige breeches. The stallion shifted his hooves and

Kate’s thigh tightened. Jamie felt a matching tension in her stomach

and she wanted to rub, to explore the muscles under her hand. She

let Kate go and stepped back. Their lives were intersecting for a

short time, and then she and Kate would go in separate directions.

She had no right to feel protective of Kate or to feel a desire that

threatened to outlast sex.

She sat on the rail of a low jump and watched as Kate started

to move the horse around the ring. Surprisingly, he settled right to

work as Kate quietly trotted him in figure eights and serpentines.

Jamie was just starting to relax when Kate asked the horse to canter

and he reared so he was nearly vertical to the ground. Jamie heard

the thud of her heart as her body tensed, ready to run toward Kate.

And do what? Before she could react, the stallion’s front hooves

returned to earth. Kate seemed unfazed, and she quickly controlled

the animal before sending him forward in a smooth canter. Jamie

took deep breaths to counteract the surge of adrenaline. The horse

had acted so quickly. He was all grace and power, and the stunt

would have been beautiful to watch on a nature show about wild

horses. In the ring with Kate on his back, it was closer to terrifying.

Kate finished her warm-up and came over to tell Jamie how

to set the jumps. “Does he always do that?” Jamie asked as she

lowered the rails on a few of the fences.

“Rear? No not much. Only a couple of times,” Kate amended.

“I’m starting to feel when he’s about to try something, so I can

usually prepare for it. He’s a little distracted right now because of

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the mare, but he needs to get used to it. There’ll be plenty of them

at the shows.”

“Great,” Jamie said with an attempt at a smile. “If he gets this

excited over one, what will he do with a whole harem?”

Kate just laughed and trotted away, her spirits seeming to lift

as she spent more time in the saddle. She jumped the stallion over

the low fences and gradually had Jamie raise them until the poles

reached the tops of the standards. Jamie had to admit the horse looked

talented. He cleared the high obstacles by several inches, making

everything seem effortless. Jamie could tell Kate was working

harder than she had done on Topper, as if it took all of her strength

and concentration to coax the stallion into a smooth performance.

When she finally brought the horse to a halt and dismounted, she

was breathing hard, but the stallion looked as fresh as he had at the

beginning of the ride.

They were quiet on the walk back to the barn. “What did you

think?” Kate eventually asked.

“I’m not an expert, but he sure is something to watch,” Jamie

said. “He’s very…explosive off the ground.”

“You should try sitting on him,” Kate said with a grin. Jamie

could tell Kate meant that in a positive way, but there was no way

in hell Jamie would want to be up there. It had been bad enough just

to watch.

Jamie stood by while Kate untacked and groomed the horse.

They walked him over to the small barn together, and Jamie

expected the horse to take off like a shot once he was turned loose

in his paddock. Instead, he wandered over to a pile of hay and

started eating calmly. His unpredictability bothered Jamie more than

constant wildness would have done, and she tried to shake off her

uneasy feelings about the horse. Kate would be riding the stallion

even if Davison and Burke weren’t considering a sponsorship, but

Jamie felt an uncomfortable sense of responsibility. Nothing to do

with a personal concern for Kate’s safety, of course. She trailed

behind Kate in silence until they returned to the main barn where

she took Kate’s saddle out of her arms and carried it into the tack

room for her. Kate hung her bridle on a hook near the sink and

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karis Walsh

Jamie came closer and captured her hand. She stroked the calluses

on Kate’s palm and traced the edges of her fingers. Kate’s hand was

slender and beautiful, rough from work and the outdoors. Capable.

Jamie’s touch was sensitive enough she could feel when a shiver ran

through Kate.

“You’re shaking,” she said accusingly, holding Kate’s hand

lightly between her own.

Kate laughed and pulled her hand away. “I’m not scared, I’m

just hungry. I haven’t eaten yet today.”

“It’s almost eleven,” Jamie said, glancing at her watch. Kate

just shrugged and started to clean her bridle with saddle soap. Jamie

took the wet sponge away and tossed it in the sink. She grabbed a

rag off the counter and wiped soapy residue off her hands before

reaching for Kate’s and doing the same, trying not to linger this

time. “Leave that, and let’s go get lunch.”

She tugged a protesting Kate out to her car. “I can’t, Jamie. I

have to clean my tack and I have lessons this afternoon.”

“What time do you teach?”

“Four,” Kate admitted. “But I really should—”

“Eat,” Jamie suggested. She hoped her expression made it an

order.Kate shook her head but stopped arguing. “You’re annoying.

Let me change first, at least. No, you wait here,” she added when

Jamie started to follow her to the house. “I’ll be right out.”

Jamie pulled her car into the driveway by the house, and Kate

was quickly back outside, wearing jeans and a polo shirt instead of

her breeches. Her blond hair hung loose around her shoulders. She

stepped into the low car, and Jamie caught a glimpse of the crotch

of Kate’s jeans where the seams had frayed, probably from hours of

rubbing against a saddle and those suede chaps. Then Kate slid her

other leg in and blocked Jamie’s view.

“Ooh, nice,” Kate said, snuggling into the comfortable leather

seat next to Jamie. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” Jamie said, feeling oddly lighthearted with

Kate so close. She fought the temptation to hold her hand, figuring

she just might get slapped if she tried. What she really wanted to

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Worth the risk

do was reach between Kate’s legs and play with the loose threads

on her jeans. She drove slowly through the residential streets of

Wilsonville and pulled into the drivethrough of a Mexican fastfood restaurant near the freeway.

“This is the surprise?” Kate asked with a grin. “Really, you’ll

spoil me.”

“I’d like to,” Jamie said. “Now, what do you want?”

She tossed their bag of food in the backseat and got onto I-5

heading north. She accelerated up to speed quickly, slipping the

Mercedes through the traffic until she was in the fast lane even

though she would only be on the freeway for a few miles. She

noticed Kate had her hand braced against the dashboard.

“What’s wrong?” she asked in concern, glancing over at Kate

who looked a shade paler than normal.

“My God, do you always drive like this?” Kate gasped, her

eyes never leaving the road.

“Like what? We’re on the freeway, so how do you expect me

to drive?”

“At the speed limit?” Kate suggested. “Or at least reasonably

close to it?”

Jamie rolled her eyes. “What’s the point in having a car like

this if I’m going to putter along in the slow lane?” She patted the

car’s dash. “This baby’s built for speed.”

Kate slapped at her arm. “Keep both hands on the wheel,

please,” she said.

“It only feels like we’re going fast because we’re so much

closer to the ground than you are in that big truck you drive,” Jamie

informed her. “Oops, there’s our exit.”

She confidently eased the car between two trucks as she took

the exit to Highway 205 and headed for the fast lane again. She

took corners and made lane changes more abruptly than usual,

enjoying the little squeaks and gasps from Kate at each turn. Kate

had scared the hell out of her on that horse, and Jamie didn’t mind

getting a taste of revenge. Besides, she liked hearing the sounds

Kate made. Jamie took the exit for Lake Oswego and braked quickly

at a stoplight. She laughed and reached over to pry Kate’s hand off

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her dash. “Honestly, you just spent the morning galloping around on

Man o’ War, and a couple of fast turns in a car freak you out?”

Kate relaxed somewhat as Jamie drove more carefully through

the town of Lake Oswego, another affluent suburb of Portland. Jamie

parked in the lot of a waterfront park and grabbed their sack of food.

“Are we having a picnic?” Kate asked as she climbed out of the

car, relieved to be out of Jamie’s deathtrap.

“Sort of,” Jamie said. “It’s part of the surprise.”

“I thought the NASCAR routine was enough excitement for

one day,” Kate muttered as she and Jamie walked along a paved

path that led through the park’s gardens. The air was moist from

the lake and the dense foliage, and Kate took a deep breath, glad to

be near the water after a day spent sweating in her barn and dusty

arena. When they reached the Lake Oswego Rowing Club, Jamie

unlocked the metal gate and led the way down a narrow ramp to the

boathouse.

“Hey, Rusty,” Jamie called out to a man who was varnishing

an old wooden scull. The slender boat was propped on a couple of

sawhorses on a small patch of lawn at the bottom of the ramp.

“Hey, Jamie, how you doin’?”

“Not bad. Mind if I take the rowboat out for a couple of hours?”

“Go right ahead,” he waved them on and returned to his work.

Kate followed Jamie onto the dock and around the blue

boathouse. When Kate realized they were going boating, she

expected Jamie to choose a fancy yacht or sleek black speedboat.

Not the small fiberglass rowboat that drifted lazily on the lake. Jamie

leaned over to set their food on the center seat and then reached back

to help Kate into the boat.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of the water, too?” Jamie asked

when Kate hesitated.

“No, I’m not. I just didn’t expect this…from you.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jamie asked, her hands on her

hips.“It’s just…kind of romantic,” Kate said. And sexy, as Jamie

stood with one foot in the old boat and one on the dock, straddling

the narrow strip of water between them.

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“I’ll be sure to dump you in the lake after we eat. Would that be

more what you expect from me?”

Kate took Jamie’s hand and gingerly climbed into the rocking

boat. Jamie loosened the rope from the cleat and pushed away from

the dock, rowing them toward the center of the lake.

“Oh my, I seem to have forgotten my parasol,” Kate said with

a heavy drawl, trailing her fingers in the water. Jamie sliced an oar

through the water and splashed her.

“Bitch,” Kate said with a laugh.

“Oh, very ladylike.”

Once they were well away from the dock, Jamie secured the

oars and let the craft drift, keeping an eye out for other boaters. Kate

handed her a taco and they sat facing each other while they ate.

“Do you do this a lot?” Kate asked around a mouthful of burrito.

“Take beautiful women acourting on the lake?”

“I meant boating in general.” Kate had never imagined Jamie

with a hobby, but this clearly was a beloved one. Jamie’s mouth rested

in a half smile, and the frown line between her brows disappeared.

“I learned to row at the club here, on an eightcrew sweep like

the one hanging on the side of the boathouse. Rusty was one of

my coaches when I was in college. Now I keep my scull on the

Willamette so it’s closer to work and I can get on the water most

mornings.”

“I’ll bet you’re good at it,” Kate said.

Jamie laughed. “I am, but you somehow made that sound like

an insult.”

Kate gave her a guilty smile of acknowledgment. “It’s just that

you seem to do everything well,” she admitted. Like kissing. Kate’s

body still got warm at just the memory of their kiss. “Most of us

have to work hard to succeed.”

“Believe me, I know what hard work is,” Jamie informed her.

“And rowing is like math. There are ratios and angles and you train

until you’re as close to the ideal as possible. I can do that. When

it comes to things that don’t have absolute values, it seems to get

harder for me.”

“Like Anna?” Kate asked.

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karis Walsh

Jamie hesitated. She meant her feelings for Kate, her desire for

something she couldn’t yet articulate and knew she couldn’t have.

Because Kate was going away. “Yes,” she said. “Like Anna.”

As if in silent agreement, and much to Jamie’s relief, they

dropped the serious subjects. Jamie lounged easily in the boat,

occasionally paddling a little to get out of someone’s path. Kate

propped her bare feet on the seat beside Jamie, eventually relaxing

enough that her complexion smoothed, the lines of tension gone.

They talked about inconsequential things, and Jamie tried to

remember the last time she had left work early for something

other than an emergency or one of Anna’s medical appointments.

She soon abandoned that line of thought, since nothing came to

mind. She had originally come up with this spurofthemoment

idea at the barn in an attempt to do something nice for Kate. She

wanted to show her appreciation for Kate’s help with Anna, and

getting her away from the barn, the horse, and stress about the

sponsorship seemed better than having Jenn send flowers or a card.

The afternoon had turned out to be more special to Jamie than

she had expected, though. Lying back in the boat with the sound

of water dripping off her raised oar, she felt more at peace than

she had in years. She tried to convince herself it had more to do

with being on the lake after a week of satisfyingly hard work than

anything to do with the woman sitting across from her.

Nevertheless, she did take a chance and reached for Kate’s

hand during the drive home. She was surprised Kate didn’t protest,

although she nearly squeezed Jamie’s fingers off during a rather

sharp turn. Jamie dropped her off next to her house and left with a

quick goodbye, no kissing this time, and a familiar wave of sadness

replaced the temporary peace she had been feeling. Their excursion

had been a captured day, a little relief from work and stress for

both of them, but certainly not something that could become a

habit. Jamie drove away wondering why she already felt a sense of

mourning after such a perfect afternoon.

Kate watched Jamie’s car disappear around the corner before

she went into her house. Her shoulders ached from the day’s heavy

lifting and her ride on the stallion. She had been more upset by the

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horse’s rear than she had let on. She had lost focus, her mind on

Jamie’s hand covering her thigh, the caress of Jamie’s thumb. Kate

swallowed some aspirin for her sore muscles. Jamie was too much

of a distraction, and Kate could get hurt if she wasn’t more careful.

Physically, if her mind wasn’t on her riding, or worse, emotionally,

if she started to care for Jamie too much.

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Chapter eleven

Jamie piled a plate with sandwiches and cookies, balanced

it on top of two plastic cups of lemonade, and brought the

stack over to the corner of the hospitality tent where Anna and

Elaine were sitting. She was glad to have a shady spot for them

since it was over ninety degrees and the horse show was being held

on a large open field. The surrounding hillsides were forested and

looked lush and cool, but the grounds themselves were bare and

grassy with every inch devoted to some aspect of the competition.

The show was bigger than Jamie had expected, with four rings for

judged events and two warmup areas that were full of horses and

looked like chaos to her. The Davison and Burke tent was situated

on the adjoining corner of the two largest rings, so they had a great

view of most of the competition.

The well-maintained grounds were definitely more wheelchair

friendly than the other show Jamie and Anna had attended. The

grass was trimmed short, and wide tanbark paths crisscrossed the

show so the snack bar, barns, and parking lot were easily accessible.

Low white chains clearly marked the designated pedestrian areas,

and short picket fences controlled the horse traffic, so Jamie could

relax and not worry about a repeat of their first disastrous show

experience. Anna had already discovered the trailer a local tack

shop sent to the show, and she had a box with a brandnew riding

helmet sitting next to her chair.

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Jamie handed sandwiches around before taking one for herself

and settling on a folding chair next to Anna. Although she considered

this a workday, she had made an effort to spend time with her niece,

and even Elaine was smiling at her for a change. The tent had proved

to be a brilliant idea, and during a brief talk with Dave Randall at

the coffee urn, the two had decided to make it an annual tradition

and to possibly sponsor a class the following year. Many of their

clients had some connection to the horse world, and there had been a

constant parade of children and grandchildren in fancy riding outfits

through their buffet line. It was a comfortable way for Jamie and

her coworkers to mingle socially with their investors, and Jamie had

even made a few promising new contacts. It would have been an

ideal day if Jamie hadn’t spent most of it watching for some sign

of Kate.

“So, why are the jumps so much brighter in this ring?” Jamie

asked her niece around a mouthful of ham sandwich. She waved

toward the right where the poles were painted in vibrant whites and

primary colors. The arena on the left had a course of jumps that

were natural earth tones, some of them filled with fir boughs. The

two smaller rings across from their tent were filled with similarly

brown and greentoned jumps. She realized she hadn’t been paying

much attention to the show itself, since she had been focused on

networking.

“That’s the jumper ring,” Anna said with confident authority,

pointing at the brighter jumps. Kate had loaned her a few books

on the subject, and Jamie was proud to see how quickly Anna had

absorbed the new knowledge. “They jump higher fences, and they’re

judged quanta…on how many poles they knock down and how long

they take to finish the course.”

“Quantitatively,” Jamie offered.

“That’s what I said.” Anna rolled her eyes at Jamie’s correction,

and Jamie had to raise her hand to her mouth to cover a smile. Anna’s

expression looked so normal, so typical for a longsuffering preteen.

She had always been so quiet, so careful in Jamie’s presence, and

Jamie was happy to see Anna growing more comfortable with her.

Jamie felt herself relaxing as she listened to Anna talk. “The other

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ring is for hunters, and the fences are supposed to look like the ones

you’d see on a foxhunt. The horses are judged on how pretty they

look and how well the person rides.”

“Subjectively?” Jamie suggested. She much preferred the first

option. Better to be judged on some measurable factor instead of

being subject to the judge’s whims. “So, Kate will be in the jumper

ring. Those fences don’t look too high.”

“That’s ’cause they’re set for beginners now, so they aren’t

even three feet high. Everyone’s put in classes by how old they are

or how experienced, and the better riders jump higher,” Anna said,

tapping a page in her program with an impatient gesture, as if Jamie

should have been able to figure it out on her own. “See, in Kate’s

class they’ll be over four feet.”

Jamie, suddenly not as hungry, set down the unfinished half

of her sandwich. She was going to need something stronger than

lemonade to help her through this day.

“Look,” Anna patted her arm and pointed across the ring.

“There she is.”

Jamie followed her gesture and immediately spotted Kate in

shirtsleeves and tan breeches, her silvery blond hair caught in a high

ponytail. She was standing next to two girls on ponies, pointing at

the fences in one of the distant hunter rings as she talked to them.

The jumps in the far two arenas were noticeably smaller than the

ones near Jamie’s tent.

“I should go say hello,” Jamie said, getting to her feet quickly.

“Maybe you could ask her to come see me?” Anna suggested

shyly.“I will,” Jamie assured her, giving Anna’s thin shoulder a quick

squeeze. It was much easier to be comfortable around her niece

when they had a conversation subject so close at hand. Yet one more

reason to appreciate both this day and Kate’s influence on them. Kate

had become a common thread between Jamie and Anna, between

Jamie’s work and home lives. Jamie had always fought to maintain

separation, and she was surprised to find she liked the connections.

She left the tent and stepped over the white picket fence that

marked the boundary of the closest warmup arena. As she made

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her way over to Kate in the smaller ring, she stayed close to the

temporary fencing that bordered the riding areas so she wouldn’t be

trampled by the horses of all sizes as they moved around in some

pattern only they could discern. She finally made it to the second

warm-up ring, only to find that Kate was now standing next to a

small white jump in the middle of the crowded area. Jamie dodged

among the horses and ponies until she reached the center of the ring

where Kate’s students trotted back and forth over a cross rail while

she called out a series of instructions to them.

“He’s still brown, Bethany,” Kate yelled as one of the girls

awkwardly popped over the jump.

“Is that code?” Jamie asked quietly, standing close. Kate started

at the sound of her voice.

“It’s supposed to be a joke,” she said with a nervouslooking

smile, meeting Jamie’s eyes briefly before she turned her focus back

to the girls. “Bethany stares down at his neck instead of looking

where she’s going.”

“Ah, very funny,” Jamie said before her smile was replaced by

a concerned frown. She reached out and cupped Kate’s chin, running

her thumb along the tense jawline. “God, you look exhausted.”

Kate stepped back and out of reach. Tired lines were etched on

her pale features and her green eyes had shadows underneath them.

“It’s been a long week,” she admitted. “But we’ve come a long way

since you saw us last. I’m sure you’ll be impressed with Blaze’s

performance.”

“Blaze, Spot…you don’t come up with the most original

names,” Jamie observed as Kate raised the jump so it was a single

rail, about two feet off the ground.

“Both of them came prenamed, so don’t blame me,” Kate said,

more sharply than the little joke warranted. She raised her voice and

snapped out her next instruction. “Girls, canter this vertical a couple

of times.”

Far from being upset by Kate’s tone, Jamie saw it as a sign of

real exhaustion that Kate let her cool façade slip in front of Jamie

and her students. Jamie worried about Kate riding the stallion

without the energy and focus she needed to stay in control of him.

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To stay safe. “I’ll let you get back to work,” she said quietly. “Come

by the tent when you get a chance. Anna wants to see you, and you

can get some lunch.”

“After this class,” Kate said before turning back to her students.

Jamie waited for a break in the sea of riders, feeling like a pedestrian

on the autobahn, and jogged out of the warmup ring.

❖

Kate attempted to refocus her attention to her riders, and off

Jamie. Somehow the woman had an annoying ability to reach

past whatever mask Kate had on and reveal what she was really

feeling. And today what she felt was tired and out of sorts. Jamie

had appeared looking so clean and at ease, with a crisp white shirt

worn loosely over a white tank top and those sexy designer jeans

she had worn on her first visit to Kate’s barn. Kate, on the other

hand, felt dusty and grimy after a morning in the dirt arenas with

the sun beating down on her, and wornout after a week babysitting

the highmaintenance stallion that seemed intent on tearing down

her barn board by board. Whatever he couldn’t kick to pieces he

tried to chew. After a few days of steady exercise his attitude was

improving, but Kate could sense he would be a horse that would

constantly be testing his boundaries. She was in awe of his talent,

though, and exhausted as she was, it had been worth it for the thrill of

riding such an animal. Unfortunately, his talent seemed to attract too

much attention, and Kate’s normally quiet barn had been disrupted

all week by friends and local trainers who wanted to see the horse.

The focus her riders needed before a big show had been dispersed in

too many directions for Kate’s comfort.

Even Kate’s parents had wanted to come out and watch her ride

the horse that would launch their daughter’s career. Kate had been in

pigtails and short stirrups the last time they had shown any interest

in watching her ride. They had approved of her hobby, were thrilled

to see so many children of the social elite in Kate’s lessons, and had

worked long hours to buy her the best clothes and tack. Kate would

have gladly ridden in rags if she could have had her parents at the

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shows to congratulate her after a good ride, or console her after a

bad one.

Kate dusted off her students’ tall black boots and gave them

some lastminute instructions and encouragement as they waited to

compete. She knew their parents were in the stands ready to cheer

them on, and she had been planning to ask her own to come to a show

for once in her career. She had quickly dismissed the idea after they

came to watch her ride the stallion. Her mare had just come in heat

and the stallion was a terror. After a sweaty hour in the arena, he and

Kate were working as a team for the first time since he had arrived,

and she had triumphantly dismounted and waited for her parents’

praise. Her mom’s only comment was that it was a shame the stallion

wasn’t black, which would show Kate’s fair coloring off better on a

magazine cover. Kate had been exhausted when they finally left.

Jamie’s unexpected visit the day after her parents’ should have

left her equally drained, and she was still surprised it had turned out

to be such an enjoyable afternoon. Not because Jamie was there.

Because she had a decent schooling session with Blaze, except for

his spectacular rear, and a rare two hours away from the barn and on

the water. Kate rubbed her hands down her breeches, trying to erase

the sensation of Jamie holding them, caressing each finger with such

intent concentration until Kate had trembled with arousal.

Kate shook off the distracting memory as she watched Bethany

and Danielle jump the course one at a time, and she leaned forward

on every takeoff as if she were in the ring herself. Bethany rode

in with an expression of doom but came out with a smile after a

safe but unspectacular round. Kate counted that as a success for the

girl’s first show. Danielle was more experienced, and as Kate was

applauding the smooth round, she caught herself making plans for

Danielle to move to a more advanced level in the next show season.

Kate reminded herself she wouldn’t be around for the next season.

Her students would move on to a new teacher, a new barn, and Kate

would leave.

Kate waited until her students collected their ribbons, a secondplace red for Danielle and a fifth-place pink for Bethany, before she headed to the hospitality tent. Although Jamie had been joking at

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the Hadleys’ party, she was correct in saying Kate would be moving

to the big leagues once she started her Olympic quest. Her time at

shows would no longer be just for her and her students, and she

would have to get used to the social responsibility. For a start, that

meant putting more effort into being civil to Jamie Callahan.

She came to a halt at the entrance of the shady tent, caught

by the picture of Jamie kneeling next to Anna’s chair and listening

to something the little girl said. Kate was struck by the difference

between this show and the last one Jamie and Anna had attended.

Kate remembered Anna’s face streaked with tears when she came

around the corner of the barn, and Jamie’s expression stiff with anger

and pain as she fought to protect her niece. Now Anna was talking

and gesturing with animation. And there was such an awkward

tenderness in Jamie’s expression as she listened. Kate stood still for

a moment, not wanting to interrupt the intimate family scene, but

then Jamie glanced up and met her eyes, and the same tenderness

briefly focused on her before Kate blinked and broke eye contact.

Jamie stood and quickly made her way to Kate’s side.

“Come and sit down for a few minutes,” she said, putting an

arm across Kate’s shoulders and insistently guiding her to the quiet

corner of the tent.

“Jamie,” Kate pulled her to a halt before they reached Anna.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you back there. I shouldn’t have.”

“No big deal.” Jamie waved off her apology and continued on

her way. “You have a lot on your mind today,” she tossed over her

shoulder.

Kate followed her and bent to give Anna a hug before Jamie

introduced her to Elaine. Kate remembered Jamie’s jokes about

Elaine’s housecleaning uniforms. She pictured the plump woman in

a bikini, washing windows, and she hoped her sudden urge to laugh

only looked like a friendly smile. Jamie gently pushed Kate into an

empty chair. “Have you eaten today?”

“I had breakfast,” Kate said, not sure if coffee and a maple bar

at four thirty really qualified. “But some lemonade sounds good.”

“Are you enjoying the show, Anna?” Kate asked once Jamie

left to get her drink.

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“Yes. But it makes me miss riding.”

“I know what you mean,” Kate said, smiling at Anna. “I like

to watch my students, but sometimes it makes me itch to get on a

horse myself. I’m sorry I had to cancel the therapy lesson this week

so you have to wait so long between rides, but I’ve been here since

Tuesday morning.”

“I’ll be bringing Anna to the next lesson,” Elaine said. “So I’ll

finally get to see what all the fuss is about.”

Kate felt a wave of emptiness and she saw a similar emotion

on Anna’s face. “I guess I assumed Jamie would bring her again,”

she said. Kate attributed her reaction to sheer exhaustion. After

tomorrow’s Grand Prix class, Jamie would have all the information

she needed to make her decision. There really was no reason for

Kate to expect to see her after that.

“Oh, Jamie takes Anna to all of her new appointments, but once

she approves of the person involved, then I get to take over,” Elaine

said, her shrewd glance seeming to take in both Kate and Anna’s

fleeting expressions of disappointment. “But I can’t wait to meet

this handsome Spot fellow I’ve been hearing so much about.”

Kate seized on that topic and started to describe her other

lesson horses to Elaine, when Jamie reappeared by her side with

a plate laden with food. She handed it to Kate before sitting on the

grass next to her.

“I’m really not hungry,” Kate started to protest.

“I brought a little of everything, so just eat what you want,”

Jamie said with a shrug. She set a glass of lemonade on the ground

next to Kate. “So Anna might get to ride other horses?”

Kate took a small bite of icy watermelon that soothed her

parched throat. She continued her monologue about the horses,

urged on by Anna’s rapt expression and Jamie’s typically insightful

questions. After a few minutes she realized she had eaten most of

the food on her plate.

“It’s a good thing I have a few hours before I ride,” she said with

an accusing glance at Jamie. “I can’t go out there on a full stomach.”

“This woman needs a nanny to keep her fed,” Jamie informed

Elaine. “Maybe you should moonlight with her on the weekends.”

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Kate joined in their laughter, feeling at ease for the first time

that day. “I really should get back to the barn, or my students will

come looking for me.” She gave Jamie’s shoulder a quick nudge

with her knee before she stood up. “I’ll see you after I ride this

afternoon.”

Kate left feeling surprisingly refreshed. She had been dreading

the required visit to the bank’s tent, but it had been easier than

she had expected to spend time around Jamie. Because it felt like

having a picnic lunch with family. She came to a sudden halt at that

thought and was nearly run down by a trotting horse. She moved

on quickly, waving an apology to the rider as she pushed aside that

ridiculous notion. It was dangerous to think of Jamie as anything but

a business associate. This stupid longing for more would only break

her concentration and make her do something foolish that could

cause her to lose the sponsorship, the one thing she really wanted.

She hurried back to the stabling area, determined to refocus and

hoping her stallion hadn’t torn down his stall while she’d been gone.

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Chapter tWelve

Kate’s jumper class was one of the last of the afternoon.

By that time, Jamie’s patience had worn a little thin after

hours of watching hundreds of horses jump over some variation of

the same course. The riders were dressed conservatively in dark

jackets and tan breeches and the horses were mostly shades of

brown or gray, so they all started to blend. Their tent had cleared out

after the lunch crowd, and even Anna’s enthusiasm was starting to

wane. She had spent the past half hour reading a book about dragons

while Elaine did a crossword puzzle.

Jamie stretched out in her chair, her long legs propped on an

ice chest while she watched the jump crew raise the fences yet

again before Kate’s class. They were nearing five feet, and Jamie

did her best to forget that for tomorrow’s Grand Prix they would be

even higher. From their seats, they had a clear view of a redandwhite monstrosity that looked wide enough to fit a couple of horses between its rails. Jamie tried to ignore it as she turned her attention

back to the warmup ring where Kate and Blaze had been trotting

around for fifteen minutes. Jamie could tell even from a distance

that Kate was the center of attention among all the riders out there.

No surprise, since she was riding such an impressive horse, but Kate

would draw admiring looks even if she were out there on Spot. Jamie

saw in Kate the beauty of an athlete. Supple but strong, relaxed but

responsive. The dichotomies suited her. And Kate inspired dual

responses in Jamie. She was proud of Kate’s abilities and talent, but

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she wanted to drag her off the horse like a Neanderthal. She wanted

to see Kate succeed but didn’t want to see her go. Jamie turned back

toward the redandwhite jump when the class was about to begin.

She had learned enough during the day to follow the rules of

the class. Each rider would make an attempt at the course, and they

received faults for knocking down poles, refusing to jump, or going

over the time allowed to complete the round. Anyone without faults

would return for a timed jumpoff over a shortened course, and the

horse and rider with the fewest faults and the shortest time would

win. Since this was only a warmup before tomorrow’s big class,

and it was Blaze’s first show in the States, Kate had told Jamie she

wasn’t planning to push him too hard or too fast. Jamie hoped that

translated to safe.

The first horse finally came into the ring, and Anna put her

book aside to watch. Jamie stayed in her relaxed position, refusing

to let any of her anxiety show. She had no reason to care whether or

not Kate did well here. On the contrary, it would make Jamie’s job

easier if she failed this weekend. After years of investment analysis,

Jamie knew the worst thing she could do was to get too emotionally

attached to the outcome of any venture. A cool head helped her

make the right decisions or remedy any possible mistakes.

After five horses had completed the course, two of them with

clear rounds, Kate moved into position at the back gate. Jamie sat up,

her elbows resting on her knees in what she hoped was a nonchalant

pose. As long as she didn’t have to shake hands with anyone, she

decided she could pull it off.

“Oh my,” Elaine said in an awed voice. “That is one impressive

animal.”

“No shit,” Jamie muttered quietly, earning her a disapproving

frown from Elaine. Anna was so intent on watching, Jamie doubted

she’d noticed the quiet curse.

Kate and Blaze sailed around the course at a noticeably faster

pace than the other entrants. For a horse built like a tank, he had a

surprising lightness about him when he jumped, drawing his knees

up tightly and making it look effortless. Kate, on the other hand,

had a look of fierce concentration on her face. When she rode close

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to the tent, Jamie could see lines of tension around her mouth and

a tautness in her forearms that were the only indications she was

working hard to control the strong horse. She had the same grace

about her Jamie had seen when she’d first watched her ride Topper,

but some of the joy was missing. Still, Kate had been riding her own

horse for five years and this one for only a week. Jamie hoped time

would help Kate find that connection again.

Kate left the ring to a loud round of applause, and Jamie

realized she had been holding her breath the whole ride. To prove

she really didn’t care about the outcome of the class, Jamie stood up

and wandered to the back of the tent. She found Dave talking to one

of the junior associates, and she joined them in conversation, only

occasionally glancing back at the arena. The three of them walked

back toward the ring together when the jumpoff started.

The audience gasped in unison as the first rider in the jump-

off pulled his horse into an impossibly tight turn in order to save

time between fences. The horse’s front hoof nicked the rail, and it

teetered but didn’t fall. The second to go managed to beat his time,

but at the expense of knocking down two poles and ending up with

eight jumping faults.

“I have to admit, that woman has guts,” Dave said appreciatively

as Kate trotted back into the ring to start her jumpoff round.

Jamie didn’t answer, her attention focused on Kate who looked

so small on the massive stallion. She was relieved to see them take

the fences at about the same speed as their initial round.

“Hmm, look at her time,” the associate said, gesturing at the

electronic timer. “It’ll be easy to beat.”

“She wasn’t trying to win this class,” Jamie told him. “They

competed mainly to give the horse experience in the ring before

tomorrow.”

“So we’ll see her really go for it in the Grand Prix?”

“She’d better, if she wants Davison and Burke’s money,” Dave

said with a laugh as the two of them walked away. Jamie knew he

was right. Tomorrow would be Kate’s final chance to prove herself

to Jamie and the rest of the company. She wouldn’t hold anything

back.

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Still in the ring, Kate struggled to convince the stallion to stop

after he sailed over the last fence with room to spare. She had to

circle him twice at a fast canter before she could slow him enough to

leave the ring safely. In her rides at home, and in this jumpoff, she

hadn’t pushed him for speed, and she hoped she’d be able to control

him when she finally did unleash the power she could feel building

inside him.

Kate glanced at the hospitality tent as she trotted from the ring.

She could see Jamie standing in the shadows, watching her. Kate

felt as if she was sitting on dynamite these days. The stallion, the

sponsorship, the impending upheaval of her life. And her feelings for

Jamie. Kate only hoped she would survive the inevitable explosions

with her heart intact.

❖

Jamie helped Elaine get a very weary Anna into Elaine’s

minivan. She promised she would be following them home soon,

and she made her way back through the emptying parking lot to

the field behind the show rings where the exhibitors’ party was

being held. A band was playing country music, and strings of lights

illuminated the tables full of barbecue. Jamie grabbed a bottle of

beer and wandered through the crowd in search of Kate. She spotted

her in the food line, surrounded by a group of her students.

Jamie put some chicken and coleslaw on her plate and stood off

to the side, watching Kate interact with her kids. They clamored for

her attention, and Jamie could tell she made an effort to talk to each

one individually.

“So, what did you think?” Myra asked as she came up behind

Jamie.“She rode well. I’m interested to see how they do when she

really is trying to win,” Jamie lied. “You’ve been around her this

week, is having this horse everything she expected?”

Myra shrugged. “He’s pushy, arrogant, and overbearing, but

nothing she hasn’t dealt with before. I told her she should change his

name from Blaze to Jamie.”

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Jamie laughed. “Are you saying I helped prepare her to handle

him?”“Compared to you, he’s a cinch,” Myra said. She started to

walk away and then stopped. “Don’t you dare break her heart.”

Jamie wasn’t sure how Myra meant that, but she chose to

interpret it in a purely professional sense. “You know I can’t make a

decision until I’ve seen what they can really do together.”

Myra gave her a half smile. “I’ve never known her to back

down from a challenge. Keep that in mind.”

Jamie took a long drink of her beer and looked back in Kate’s

direction. She had separated from her group and was heading for a

trash can. Jamie walked over and intercepted her.

“Congratulations,” she said, taking Kate’s plate and throwing it

away with her own. “Third place seemed okay for today.”

“Thank you,” Kate accepted with a smile. To Jamie’s eyes, she

was already looking more relaxed than she had all day. “He got to

see the fences and get a feel for the footing in the ring. That’s all I

wanted.”

Jamie glanced over to the dance floor where couples were

swaying to a slow song. Since the Hadley party, she had only had

small tastes of Kate. A kiss, isolated touches. Jamie wanted her arms

around Kate, Kate’s body pressed against hers. A public dance would

be safe. Jamie could hold Kate and still keep control. She had noticed

several samesex partners dancing, so she decided to give it a shot.

“Would you like to dance?”

Kate nodded, and Jamie placed a hand on her lower back as

they walked, unsure whether Kate had agreed because she had been

caught off guard or because she knew she was in the final push for

Jamie’s approval and was trying to be amenable.

Whatever the reason, Jamie was happy to have Kate safely in

her arms for a little while. Kate had changed from riding clothes

to jeans, and Jamie settled her hands on Kate’s hips, catching her

thumbs in the belt loops to keep her hands from wandering to the

ass she had been admiring all day. Kate rested her hands on top of

Jamie’s shoulders, her arms a little stiff as if making sure the two of

them stayed separated.

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Jamie couldn’t remember the last time she had danced with

another woman. She’d expected to have some awkward steps, but

the two of them moved together smoothly. She felt Kate’s stiffness

ease a little, and she took that chance to tug gently on Kate’s hips

and fit them more snugly against her own. She pulled her as close

as she dared with Kate’s students around, and lowered her cheek to

Kate’s hair.

Jamie expected to feel a physical jolt when she touched Kate,

like she had on the Hadleys’ patio, but this time their coming together

was more like a sigh, as soft as Kate’s breath on her neck. Her thumbs

escaped the belt loops and gently traced the top of Kate’s hip bones.

She was overwhelmed by the wave of protectiveness she felt. While

she was in Jamie’s arms, Kate couldn’t be hurt, and Jamie realized

with a wave of apprehension how much that was starting to mean

to her. She couldn’t want that because Kate would eventually leave

her arms and ride that blasted stallion again, moving back east and

leaving her old life behind.

“You don’t have to go through with it, you know,” Jamie said,

leaning toward Kate’s ear.

“With what?” Kate asked. She leaned back to meet Jamie’s

eyes and the movement made her hips push forward. Jamie slipped

her hands into Kate’s back pockets. She pressed harder, feeling soft

flesh over firm muscle, and pulled Kate’s pelvis against her own.

The contact was a powerful distraction and she spoke her thoughts

out loud before she could stop herself.

“Tomorrow. You don’t have to ride him in the class tomorrow.”

Kate stopped swaying to the music but she didn’t make any

move to pull away. “Why would I want to quit?”

“Let someone else buy him, and stay here. Stay with your

students, with your therapy program.” Jamie couldn’t ask Kate to

stay for her, when all she could offer was a brief fling, a few weeks

of passionate sex. How long would it be before Kate realized she had

given up her dream for an illusion of a relationship? But Kate’s work

gave her life meaning, purpose. Jamie could ask her to stay for that.

“I’m not afraid,” Kate said with a frown, her green eyes turning

to jade.

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“I didn’t say you were. But can you honestly tell me you were

having fun out there?”

Kate pulled away, but she remained close enough to speak

without being overheard. “This is my career we’re talking about,

not some silly hobby. It might not buy me a fancy sports car or a

livein nanny so I don’t have to spend time with my own family, but

to me it’s just as important as your job. It might not always be fun,

and it’ll take a lot of hard work, but I am not a quitter.”

“Then I wish you luck tomorrow,” Jamie said coldly. “I hope

you get everything you want.”

Jamie walked away. She headed to the dark parking lot to find

her fancy sports car, so she could drive home where Anna’s nanny

would have bathed her and put her to bed. She feared Kate was

heading toward a similarly empty life. She had seen the light on her

face when she talked to her students or rode her own horse, even

when she joked around with Myra. No Olympic medal could replace

what Kate was leaving behind. Even if Kate couldn’t appreciate the

connections in her life, Jamie could. But she could no more change

the course of Kate’s life than she could change her own at this stage.

Jamie had put up too many barriers to be able to develop the kinds of

relationships Kate was about to throw away. They had already made

their decisions, and in Jamie’s opinion they’d both lost.

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Chapter thirteen

Sunday’s sky was covered with a marine layer Jamie knew

would burn off in a few hours, leaving them sweltering in

the sun yet again. She drove through a misty drizzle that wasn’t wet

enough to require windshield wipers, but enough to have left a moist

sheen on her hair when she walked to her car. The gray skies suited

her mood, although she tried to tell herself to be relieved that this

day would prove to be her last interaction with Kate.

As Jamie left the city streets and freeway traffic, she felt some

of the depression that lingered after last night’s interaction with Kate

ease slightly. The farm hosting the competition was in the midst

of Wilsonville’s agricultural region, and the road was lined with

nurseries, large stables, and dense hazelnut groves. Jamie’s silver

car slipped quietly along the winding road until she saw, looming

in the mist, the bronze statue of a mare and foal that stood at the

entrance to the show grounds.

Anna and Elaine would be following along later, but Jamie had

an earlymorning meeting with a potential client she had met the day

before. She was one of a group of business owners, connected by

their Stanford sorority, who were interested in forming an investment

club. Since they lived along the West Coast, the project would offer

Jamie plenty of opportunity for travel, as well as a potentially hefty

commission. She had worked into the small hours of the morning

preparing a sample portfolio for the lastminute meeting, and she

welcomed the overriding sense of tiredness she felt after intense

work and too little sleep.

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karis Walsh

It was comforting to be back to her old self, with one exception:

her future plans would include Anna—and Elaine—in her travels. If

she scheduled her trips for late in the week, they could join her for

weekends in Disneyland or Seattle. She knew she had Kate to thank

for her changing relationship with Anna. She had forced Jamie to

confront the lack of connection in her life, and Jamie vowed she

would at least give Anna a chance to be a loving, normal human

being. Watching Anna ride had also proved to Jamie that her niece

was capable of so many more activities than she had realized, and

the idea of taking family trips was suddenly a possibility.

Jamie slowed her car and pulled into the driveway that led

past the empty arenas and to the parking lot behind the temporary

stabling. Each barn tried to outdo the others with elaborately

decorated stalls, and Jamie quickly spotted the green and gold

curtains that marked Cedar Grove’s barn area. She parked nearby,

grabbed her worn briefcase, and took a stroll through Kate’s section

of the barn before heading to the hospitality tent. Matching tack

trunks sat near each of the ten stalls, and polished nameplates and

halters hung neatly by every horse. A long string of the ribbons Kate

and her students had won so far fluttered gently near a now-empty

sitting area with canvas chairs and potted plants. Jamie casually

glanced around the rest of the grounds when she came to the end of

the aisle. Even though the show hadn’t started yet, quite a few riders

were already out, exercising ghost horses in the fog. She thought

she saw Kate and Blaze at the far end of the open field where she

had danced with Kate just last night. Jamie turned away. Last night’s

dance—the confession it pulled out of Jamie and the wrenching way

it ended—no longer mattered. The only thing that mattered was

Kate’s performance in this afternoon’s class.

When Jamie got to the hospitality tent, she arranged her notes

on one of the folding tables. She hadn’t expected there to be coffee

yet, so she had stopped by a small espresso stand for lattes and

scones. She shrugged out of her black leather jacket and ran her

hands through stilldamp hair. Her black jeans and teal, patterned

buttondown shirt had a professional look, even though they were

still appropriate for a day at a horse show. Her potential client was

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at the show to watch her two daughters compete, so she wouldn’t be

dressed for the office. Jamie didn’t want to look as if she was trying

too hard to impress.

Brenda Colton arrived precisely on time, and Jamie stood up

to greet her. The woman was wearing dark jeans and a red fleece

pullover, her lightbrown hair cut in a classic chinlength bob. They

shook hands and Brenda sat down with a shiver.

“It’s colder than I expected this morning,” she said with a laugh

as she burrowed deeper into her sweater. Jamie handed her a latte

and she accepted it gratefully. “I guess I should enjoy it while it’s

here. By about noon I’ll be complaining about the heat.”

Jamie asked about her daughters’ classes for the day, and the

two spent a few minutes on small talk about horses and the Colton’s

family farm in Bend, a city in eastern Oregon. Jamie was grateful

she had learned enough over the past couple of weeks to carry on a

fairly knowledgeable conversation about the sport. She was about to

start her business proposal when Brenda gestured toward the field.

Jamie looked up in time to see Kate riding past the tent on her way

back toward the stabling area.

“Have you seen that stallion, Guns Blazing?” Brenda asked.

“Yes,” Jamie said simply, her eyes on Kate. She sat tall and

relaxed in the saddle, wearing those brown asshugging chaps that

could make Jamie forget her own name. Blaze walked easily on

a loose rein, looking as calm as his rider. Apparently their earlymorning exercise had been beneficial, Jamie thought with relief. She pulled her attention away from the pair with effort.

“He’s all my girls have been talking about,” Brenda said,

shaking her head. “You’d think the latest teen idol was here, to hear

them talk.”

“It’ll be interesting to watch him in today’s Grand Prix,” Jamie

said, turning back to the papers in front of her. Yet another point in

favor of endorsing Kate. Jamie’s business sense kicked in, and she

could see mentioning Davison and Burke’s sponsorship of the pair

would probably help her convince Brenda to sign with them, but she

couldn’t ethically exploit that PR angle unless it was official. “I’ve

drawn up a couple of possible investment strategies given your

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group’s long-term goals. This first one is more aggressive, but it has

a high earning potential,” Jamie said as she flipped open a leather

folio and brought out several charts.

By the time their lattes and scones were finished, Jamie felt

confident in her chances with Brenda’s group. They wanted to

work with a woman, and Jamie had struggled against the opposite

sentiment enough times in her career to appreciate a little reverse

discrimination. Brenda seemed impressed with her thorough

presentation, and they arranged for a conference call with the other

investors later in the week. Jamie tossed her briefcase in the trunk

of her Mercedes, along with her jacket since the day was already

heating up, and she returned to the tent in time for yet more coffee.

So far, a good day. If she could just get Kate safely over those huge

fences and out of her life, it would be perfect.

❖

Kate slammed her tack trunk lid shut loudly enough to bring

Blaze’s head out of his stall. The big horse chewed his mouthful of

hay and watched her as she dropped onto the trunk and sat there with

her head in her hands. Damn that Jamie, she thought for probably the

hundredth time in two weeks. Last night she had held Kate so gently,

almost urging her to stay in Oregon, planting doubts in Kate’s mind

about her decision to leave. And now, less than twelve hours later,

she was having breakfast with some beautiful, richlooking woman

right there in the Davison and Burke tent. At least Kate hadn’t paid

for the damned thing.

Blaze lost interest and returned to his breakfast as Kate sighed

and arched her back, stretching sore muscles. She had been awake

since three, braiding manes and tails for the show and making sure

her students’ tack was clean and in order. They were ultimately

responsible for their own equipment, but the championship classes

on the final day of such a big show were too important for her to be

comfortable leaving the details to a bunch of teenagers’ haphazard

organizational skills. She had finally left the barn behind, taking

Blaze out for an earlymorning gallop to settle his mind. After about

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ten minutes of bucking, the stallion gave up his attempts to unseat

her and settled into his work. She was riding him back to the barn,

aware that she had succeeded in tiring herself out more than the

horse, when she had spotted Jamie and her new friend having their

cozy breakfast.

She stood up and carried her saddle into the stall they were

using as a tack room, setting it on a metal stand and carefully wiping

away the dirt that had splattered on it during her ride. Logically, she

knew Jamie had every right to breakfast or lunch or whatever with

another woman. But she still could feel Jamie’s hands on her while

they danced, pulling her close until their hips ground together. The

thought of those hands on someone else made Kate want to throw

something. Hard. At Jamie.

Kate’s anger was part jealousy and part weariness. If she

was being truthful, Jamie hadn’t actually planted doubts in Kate’s

mind about the choice she was making. The doubts had been there,

ever more insistent over the past week, and Jamie had simply,

and continually, made her acknowledge them. In the foggy early

morning, alone in the quiet, Kate could let herself admit she resented

what this horse represented. She resented the hours spent exercising

him, hours that would have been fun and challenging enough on

Topper or her younger jumper. She resented missing a student’s ride

yesterday because Blaze needed an hour of warmup before his class.

She especially resented having to cancel her therapy classes because

she just didn’t have time to spend helping kids like Anna who so

desperately needed her. And how much more would she resent it

when these things, instead of being pushed aside momentarily, were

out of her life completely? Of course she knew she could replace

them with other students or horses or chances to volunteer when

she moved, but the ones she loved were right here. Her parents had

left Kentucky in search of better opportunities although she had

been happy where she was. Now, she would repeat the pattern and

give up what she had in search of something else, something other

people considered better.

But Kate had started on this path, had been on it since she

moved to Oregon, and she wasn’t going to quit now. Jamie was

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only questioning her commitment to this dream, not expressing

any affection for her, when she’d asked if Kate really wanted this

sponsorship. It was business to her, even though she’d asked her

questions in that soft voice while she was holding Kate so intimately.

Kate knew she’d be foolish to think Jamie really cared.

Girlish voices and laughter, and the answering whinny of a

pony, alerted Kate to the arrival of some of her students. She put a

cover on her saddle and hung it up on a rack, heading out of the stall

to greet the kids and nearly turning back again when she saw Jamie

wandering behind them.

After a quick wave, Jamie went over to the stallion’s stall and

leaned on his door, seemingly watching him eat while Kate went

over the day’s schedule with her students. Once she had set them to

work grooming their horses, she reluctantly joined Jamie.

“I saw you out riding this morning,” Jamie commented, her

eyes never leaving the horse. “The two of you looked more relaxed

together.”

“We’re getting along just fine,” Kate said in a cool voice. She

was relieved Jamie had apparently only caught the end of her ride,

and not the bucking spree at the beginning. Kate opened the door

and went into the stall where she busied herself by running a brush

over Blaze’s alreadyshiny chestnut coat.

“Mr. Burke asked me to invite you to lunch today. I know your

class won’t be until around two, so is eleven thirty okay?”

Kate turned to see that Jamie had come in the stall behind her.

Jamie approached the stallion quietly and ran a hand along his neck.

He nuzzled her leg briefly and returned to eating. Kate’s irritation

grew as she watched Jamie petting the big horse. Just two weeks

ago, she had looked like a complete novice around the animals, and

now she seemed comfortable in a stall next to the huge stallion. Was

there anything that didn’t come easily for her?

“I can’t promise anything,” Kate said. Jamie turned away from

the horse and met her eyes. “If one of my students is in a class…”

“Kate,” Jamie’s voice was dangerously low. “Unless you’re the

one riding in a class, you need to be there.”

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Kate stepped forward at the mildly threatening tone she heard.

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Actually, I can,” Jamie said with a shrug. “If we give you the

money, the contract will contain PR obligations we’ll expect you to

fulfill. This is one of them.”

“Okay, I’ll be there,” Kate said, angry to admit Jamie was right

in this case. Of course lunch with her primary sponsor was something

she had to do, like it or not. Still, having to acknowledge it, even to

herself, made Kate feel unaccountably angry and she looked for a

way to lash out. “I suppose your new girlfriend will be there, too?

Or do your relationships ever last for breakfast and lunch?”

“My girlfriend?” Jamie repeated, her forehead creased in confusion before her expression cleared. “Oh, you saw us this morning.”

Kate turned to leave, but Jamie moved faster and had her pinned

in the corner of the stall before Kate could reach for the door’s latch.

“That was a business meeting,” she said, her face inches from

Kate’s. “But I’m touched that you care.”

“I don’t—” Kate started, but Jamie lowered her mouth to

capture Kate’s, silencing her protests. She fought her response to

Jamie’s kiss for a few seconds, wishing Blaze would come over and

take a chomp out of her, but then she had to give in to her own desire.

That giving in was so complete it took her breath away as she snaked

her arms around Jamie’s neck and pulled her close. Jamie made a

surprised noise as Kate changed into such a willing participant, but

she recovered quickly and pressed Kate harder against the stall’s

wall. Her hands slid under the loose sweats Kate wore to protect her

breeches, cupping Kate’s rear as her thigh moved between Kate’s.

The barn and horses faded into the background until Kate

was only aware of the woodsy, clean smell of Jamie’s skin and the

unmistakable scent of her own instantaneous arousal. Kate was

lost in the sensations as Jamie pulled her hips forward, dragging

her across a strong thigh and bringing her dangerously close to an

orgasm from just that simple move. Vague words flashed across

her mind as she sucked Jamie’s tongue into her mouth. Barn…

students…show. As if she had spoken them out loud, Jamie moved

her lips away even as Kate started to break off their kiss.

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karis Walsh

“Yes, you do care,” Jamie said softly, still leaning close as

her fingers traced over Kate’s face with a gentleness that was as

powerful as her kiss had been. “And clearly, so do I. This isn’t good

for either of us, Kate. Maybe it’s for the best that after today—”

“Kate? I can’t find my martingale.” A voice from a few stalls

down interrupted Jamie.

Kate ducked under Jamie’s arm and started for the door.

“You’re right. After today…” Kate shrugged as if the kiss hadn’t

set her body on fire, as if Jamie’s words hadn’t seared her heart. She

left the stall as calmly as she could and headed to the tack room.

She had spent a lifetime searching for a woman who could break

past the barriers she so carefully erected and truly touch her to the

core. Jamie had crashed through her walls all right, and then she’d

walked away. Leaving Kate alone, exposed, and desperate to fit her

mask back in place.

❖

When Anna and Elaine finally arrived, with renewed interest

in the show after a good night’s sleep, Jamie was lounging in the

tent and chatting with Dave about his beloved Seattle Mariners. She

brought coffee for herself and Elaine, and cocoa for Anna, over to

their corner of the tent and listened to Anna’s lengthy explanations

about the day ahead. She could feel the added excitement as the

show started, and Anna told her about the various special classes

held on the final day. The stakes were higher in both the hunter

and jumper arenas as horses vied for championship ribbons in their

various divisions. The morning started with medal classes, where

the riders competed for a chance to qualify for finals held later in the

year, some at other shows around the country.

Jamie stared out at the ring in front of her, but all she saw

was Kate. Kate’s pale skin flushed with desire after their kiss,

her normally tidy ponytail slightly askew, those gray sweats that

hovered just above her hips and practically begged to be ripped off.

Jamie bit her lip to keep from groaning out loud at the memory of

Kate’s warmth sliding along her thigh. She always was the one in

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control when it came to sex, but after a glimpse of the fire burning

just under Kate’s carefully controlled surface, Jamie knew she’d be

willing to let go for once and go anywhere Kate led her.

She must have checked her watch a thousand times before

eleven thirty finally came. Kate was right on time, her lunch-with-a-

wealthy-sponsor persona firmly in place and no sign of the irritation

she had shown earlier with Jamie. There was no sign of passion.

“Jamie, how nice to see you again,” Kate said, greeting her with

a friendly handshake. Jamie was relieved, not hurt, by her indifferent

expression. Kate’s response to her kiss had been real, powerful, and

if Kate could cover her passion so smoothly, then her control was

firmly in place. And that control would keep her safe today as she

rode the stallion and as she fought to win her sponsorship.

“Hello, Kate,” Jamie said in an equally neutral tone. She

wondered if she was hiding her own emotions as well as Kate was.

It was all she could do to keep her hands and mouth to herself. “You

remember Carl Burke?”

“Of course. I’d never forget a fellow cigar aficionado.” Jamie

smiled as Kate ramped up her Southern accent while she and Carl

talked about cigars. She had been concerned that Kate might back

out of this lunch, and Jamie knew how important Carl Burke’s

endorsement was for her sponsorship. A good word from him could

even override Jamie’s judgment, and Kate would have been foolish

to let this chance slip away.

Jamie and Dave joined the two of them for lunch at a table in

the back of the tent, and she managed to seat herself next to Kate. At

first she took charge of the conversation and led the group through

some safe topics, but once it was clear Kate could handle it on her

own, she relaxed and ate quietly. She shifted in her chair so her thigh

gently touched Kate’s until she felt the heel of a leather riding boot

kick her ankle hard.

“Ouch,” she said loudly enough to draw the eyes of everyone

in the tent.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Kate said with concern. “Was that you? I felt

something crawling on my leg and thought it was a bug.”

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Carl peered under the table, but Dave met Jamie’s eyes with a

smirk. “Maybe it was a rat?” he suggested to Kate.

“Could be,” she answered seriously. “I’ve seen one creeping

around this weekend.”

“Shall we move to another table?” Carl suggested gallantly, but

Kate assured him she was fine.

“Besides,” she added, with a glance at Jamie, “it would

probably just follow us anyway.”

Jamie shook her head and continued eating, resisting the urge

to throw some food at Dave who was chuckling happily. When Kate

excused herself to go prepare for her class, Jamie walked her to the

edge of the tent.

“See? It follows wherever I go,” she said to Jamie with a frown.

“Amusing. And such a wise idea to imply that the person

deciding your fate is vermin.”

“I have no doubt you’ll be able to separate business from

pleasure,” Kate said as she started to walk away. Jamie stopped her

with a firm grip on her upper arm.

“Believe it or not, I want you to succeed,” she said, softening

her hold when Kate stopped. “Good luck today. Be safe.”

Jamie was lost in the indefinable emotion she saw on Kate’s

face, but she couldn’t begin to read Kate’s thoughts when her own

were so jumbled. “Thank you,” Kate said simply before she walked

away.Jamie returned to her niece, aware that she really did want

Kate to prove herself worthy of this sponsorship. Partly because she

worked hard and deserved success, but mainly because Jamie knew

her heart would only be safe when Kate was out of reach.

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Chapter Fourteen

Kate was in a corner of the big field, riding the stallion through

a series of exercises, when she saw Myra approaching. She

trotted over and gratefully accepted a bottle of water from her friend.

“Peter won his medal class,” Myra informed her as Kate

thirstily drank the cold water. “Danielle got Reserve Champion in

her division and Jennifer got a third in the adult medal.”

Kate shook her head and handed the empty bottle to Myra. “I

hate missing everything,” she said as she shifted her black safety

helmet in a futile attempt to find a cooling breeze. She was proud of

the good ribbons her students had won, but part of her wondered if

they would have done a little better with her there to encourage and

advise them.

“It’s just one day,” Myra said. “So, how’s the big guy doing?”

“Great. I think we’re really starting to click,” Kate said, wiping

a hand across her sweaty forehead. It was well over ninety degrees,

and she had already been riding for almost an hour. The stallion

needed the flat work to get him focused and somewhat compliant

before they started jumping.

Myra looked at her friend with the annoyingly knowing gaze

Kate had seen too often. “Save the PR crap for Callahan. Your class

is starting in fifteen minutes and you’re twelfth to go. We really

should get over to the warmup ring.”

Kate nodded and turned Blaze back toward the crowded show

area. “I thought the other three rings were supposed to be finished

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by the time the Grand Prix started.” Both of the warmup arenas

were still full of horses and ponies, and she hoped Blaze wouldn’t

take an interest in any of the mares.

“There’ve been gate holds on both hunter rings all day,” Myra

said in annoyance. “Lots of lost shoes because the footing’s been

so bad, and that led to conflicts between the rings. Everything’s

running behind schedule.”

When they got closer, Kate picked up her reins and swung

Blaze into a trot. She circled the warmup ring a few times, dodging

in and out of the other horses’ paths, and she was relieved to feel

him relatively calm under her. She aimed him at the small jump

Myra had set, and he cleared it easily.

It took a few feet of added height before the stallion started to

pay attention to the jumps. He was so athletic he got bored quickly

with the little fences. By the time she was called on deck, Kate felt

they were working as a team.

“How does he look?” she asked unnecessarily when she jumped

off him near the back gate and pulled on her navy hunt coat. She

hadn’t worn it while schooling since the wool blend was too hot to

be comfortable.

Myra readjusted her saddle and gave her a leg up. “Amazing.

His form is perfect, so just get out there and have fun. The class is

yours to win.”

Fun, right. Riding the stallion was thrilling. Important. Scary.

Not fun. Blaze stood quietly at the gate as they waited their turn,

and Kate let her attention wander briefly to the Davison and Burke

tent. She could see Anna sitting close to the railing, but there was no

sign of Jamie near her. Kate thought she could see a slender figure

pacing back and forth behind the little girl, but the shadows made it

hard to identify anyone. She refocused on the jumps in front of her.

Those obstacles required no less than her full attention. This was

one class where a wandering mind could be dangerous. And in any

case, letting her thoughts stray to Jamie was always a dangerous

proposition.

Kate’s name was finally called, and she trotted into the ring on

the big stallion. She could feel the attention of the spectators and

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the growing excitement of the horse beneath her. She saluted the

judge and the horse leapt into a canter, as if he were planning to go

ahead and finish the course whether or not she was coming, too.

She quickly rebalanced and got his stride under control before she

headed for the first jump.

Although they were in a different order, the jumps were

basically the same as those from Saturday’s class. The added height

and width were enough to force Blaze to be more careful than he

had been over the lower ones, and Kate felt a little more in control

this time. He allowed her to rate his stride so they met the fences at

a good distance, and he was even sort of responsive to her aids in

the corners. Even so, by the time she finished the clear round, she

was dripping with sweat and her hands were blistered despite her

leather gloves.

She walked Blaze through the crowd to a somewhat quiet

corner, smiling her thanks at all the words of congratulation coming

her way. It wasn’t until she dismounted, sliding to the ground and

leaning wearily against her horse, that she let her façade slip a little.

She accepted the bottle of water that was pushed into her hands.

“I think I’m going to throw up.”

“I’ll try not to take that personally,” Jamie said wryly.

Kate’s eyes flew open. “I didn’t mean—” she started, but Jamie

shushed her.

“You’re not being judged out here,” she said, casually moving

her arm around Kate to give her more support. “Save your energy

for the jumpoff.”

Kate wanted to argue. To say she was always being judged.

Especially now when so much was at stake, especially here where

so many people were watching. But she was too exhausted to fight

or to act. She leaned back and let Jamie’s arms support her.

❖

Kate’s nausea seemed to be contagious, because Jamie felt it

herself. She had watched Kate walking the course with the other

competitors before the Grand Prix started, and that’s when she

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considered going home and letting someone phone her with the

results. Anna had explained that the riders were allowed to go into

the ring on foot so they could check distances between fences and

determine the route they wanted to take. While it was a logically

sound idea, the sight of Kate standing next to fences she couldn’t

see over made Jamie very uncomfortable. Watching her jump over

them on that beast of a stallion made her physically ill. Jamie spent

her workdays watching people take chances with their money, their

lives, and she had always kept a distance from both the pain of loss

and the thrill of success. But she couldn’t separate herself from

Kate anymore. She could read Kate’s tiredness, the tightness of her

muscles, the stress of concentration. And Jamie felt it all with her.

She had felt so relieved to see Kate make it safely through

the first round that she had given in to the temptation to go find

her. The driving need to have any sort of physical contact was

overwhelming, and Jamie took a chance she wouldn’t upset Kate

too much by seeking her out. Surprisingly, Kate hadn’t resisted her

touch, and she let Jamie’s arm remain around her while the rest of

the class finished.

Kate would be last to ride in the jumpoff, after six other riders

who had also had clear rounds, and the crowd around the arena

was growing as almost everyone at the show came to watch what

promised to be an exciting finale. By the time the jump crew entered

to adjust the course, Kate looked revived. The water and rest seemed

to have restored her energy, and she stepped away from Jamie so

she could quickly check the new course before she mounted the

chestnut.

Jamie stood off to the side, careful not to be in the way of the

horses milling around, and watched Kate do a quick warmup. They

were calling her as next to go when she turned for one final practice

jump.Jamie saw the girl ride her buckskin pony across the ring, and

directly into Kate’s path, only seconds before she heard Myra and

Kate shout, “Heads up!” in unison. The girl walked on, oblivious

to them, and Jamie had a sudden vision of Kate and Blaze landing

on top of them. Instead, Kate pulled her right rein hard only a stride

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before her takeoff, and Blaze propped with stiff forelegs before

ducking out to the side. Propelled by inertia, Kate sailed straight

over his shoulder and into the rails of the simple fence.

As they were designed to do, the plain white poles collapsed

to the ground, and Kate went with them. Jamie was at her side in a

heartbeat.

“Kate, baby, are you okay?” she murmured, half expecting to

be cradling a lifeless body in her arms.

“I’m fine,” Kate said, wincing as she slid off the pole that was

under her hip. “Really, Jamie, I’m all right. Let me up.”

Jamie kept her grip tight on Kate’s shoulders as she looked

around for one of the medics who were on hand throughout the

show. “Don’t move,” she ordered. “We need to get you checked by

a doctor.”

As Jamie sat with Kate, she was dimly aware of people shouting,

“Whoa!” as they tried to catch Blaze. She could hear him snorting as

he trotted around the ring, and she kept her body in front of Kate’s

to shield her in case he tried to trample them. Kate struggled against

the strong hands holding her on the ground.

“Jamie, let me up!” she said again as she gave a strong push

and broke free. Myra came over with Blaze, who had finally let

someone catch him, and Kate reached for the stirrup that had been

flung over his neck during his run.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jamie asked, pulling Kate back

as she prepared to mount.

“Jamie, listen to me,” she said in clipped tones. “I am getting

on this horse and finishing the class. Now, back off.”

“Can’t you stop her?” Jamie asked Myra in frustration.

“I’m not stupid enough to try,” Myra said with a shrug as she

helped Kate into the saddle.

Jamie raised her hands in a gesture of frustration as Kate

walked over to the back gate where they were calling her name.

Jamie headed out of the warmup ring, determined not to watch

what she considered to be a suicidal ride, but she made it only a

few steps before she felt compelled to turn back. She stood next to

Myra, fuming.

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“This is insane,” Jamie said angrily.

“It’s part of riding. Sometimes you fall and…”

Jamie glared until Myra stopped talking. She could see that the

stallion was more excitable after his romp in the warmup ring, and

Kate’s forearm muscles were contracted with the effort of keeping

him under control. Her face was set in determination, though, and

once the signal to start was given, she sent the horse toward the first

fence at a fast gallop. Two jumps later, she braced a hand on Blaze’s

neck and pulled the horse into a tight turn to the third obstacle,

making up time by cutting the corner sharply. They met the next

few jumps with barely a break in stride, and Jamie gasped with the

audience as Kate turned the horse in the air as they were soaring

over the nexttolast jump. He cleared the last fence with a foot to

spare and then sailed through the timer three seconds ahead of the

closest competitor.

❖

Kate gradually slowed the stallion’s groundeating gallop. One

Grand Prix down. How many to go? She didn’t need her time or

the shouts of the audience to confirm she had won the class. The

moment she had asked the stallion for speed and he had responded

without hesitation, she had been confident they would win. She had

done her part, had done all Jamie and her company could expect.

Kate spotted Jamie at the gate. She was standing still, not

applauding with everyone else. Kate trotted toward her, needing the

strength Jamie had offered when Kate was resting between rounds,

when she was lying on the ground after her fall. But before Kate and

the stallion left the ring, Jamie turned and walked away.

Jamie left the arena behind as the audience cheered and clapped.

She was too relieved to have Kate safely finished with her class to

have any control over how she might react when Kate was close

enough to touch. She took the long way back to the Davison and

Burke tent so she had time to compose herself. When she arrived,

the atmosphere in the tent was festive, and everyone congratulated

her as if she had ridden the damned stallion herself. To make things

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Worth the risk

worse, she was forced to recount the story of Kate’s fall several

times since the tent didn’t offer a good view of the warmup arena.

Just when she thought she might explode, Elaine came over

and rescued her, saying Anna needed her. They packed up their

belongings and took them to Elaine’s van before giving in to Anna’s

request to congratulate Kate. Jamie went with the two of them, but

once they reached the end of Kate’s barn aisle she held back and let

Elaine and Anna go on without her.

Kate was untacking the stallion and chatting with the people

around them. Her face was bright with the excitement of riding well

and winning such an important class, but she immediately stopped

to give Anna her attention. She handed Blaze’s lead rope to Myra

and knelt to talk to Anna. Jamie stuck her hands in her pockets and

watched as one of Kate’s students, a teenaged girl who had been at

Anna’s lesson, called out to her niece and took her over to see one

of the ponies.

Jamie felt a strange sense of loss as she watched Anna laughing

with a new friend and Kate smiling as she accepted yet another offer

of congratulations from someone in the crowd around her. Jamie

knew she had been wrong last night when she’d suggested Kate

give up her dreams, just as she had been wrong to hold Anna back

from trying to have a normal life. A wave of loneliness washed over

her as she observed the festive group, and she wasn’t sure if even

work could manage to fill the void these two were leaving in her.

Kate glanced over and gave her a brief smile tinged with weariness,

before Jamie watched her turn back to her horse.

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Chapter FiFteen

Jamie walked around the edges of Kate’s barn aisle, struggling to regain her composure, after Anna and Elaine went home.The day had been exhausting for Jamie, with the fall, the

jumping classes, and the knowledge that Kate had proven herself

worthy of the sponsorship all combining to leave her raw. She had

spent so many years fighting any emotional entanglement with even

those closest to her, and suddenly Kate had opened up too many

channels of feelings. Jamie had to fall back on her last defense and

simply pretend nothing mattered.

She got back to the stalls, determined to at least act distant

and professional even if she felt nothing of the sort, and she simply

sketched a quick wave at Kate who was busy dismantling her

stabling area and loading horses and equipment into her large van.

Kate’s efforts were hampered by all the people who stopped by

to congratulate her and to get a look at the big stallion, and Jamie

didn’t want to interrupt her time in the spotlight. Myra was trying

to take on most of the work so Kate could talk to the wellwishers,

and Jamie pitched in to help. She was happy to have the physical

labor to keep her from dwelling too much on her reaction to Kate’s

fall. She knew Myra was right when she said it was part of riding

and that every sport had its risks, but what had truly scared her was

her own depth of emotion. Seeing Kate on the ground and hurt had

stirred up feelings like those she remembered from her trips to visit

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Anna in the hospital. It was as if she herself were hurt, as if her heart

was bruised with the effort of being in love.

Love. Jamie repeated the word to herself, waiting to panic. Did

she love Kate? For once, she wanted to stick around and find out.

To be with Kate, learn about her, share stories with her. Without

business and the sponsorship looming over them and getting in the

way. She was attracted to Kate, sexually and intellectually, and she

was surprised by the cautious excitement that welled up inside when

she imagined being in a relationship with her. She wanted to take

Kate to a movie, out to dinner, on another boat ride.

But what did Kate want? Not Jamie, not a life here in Oregon.

Kate wanted the stallion and a chance at the fame and success he

could offer. Jamie might be tentative about claiming love, but she

had no doubt she cared about Kate fiercely enough to want to protect

her and see her happy. Kate thought the horse and a shot at the

Olympics would make her happy, so Jamie had to give them to her.

Even though she doubted Kate would find joy and fulfillment in the

driving ambition the stallion would require from her. Jamie couldn’t

make that decision for Kate. But she could decide to keep her

growing thoughts of love deep inside so Kate could leave without

guilt or doubt or remorse.

In between trips to the van, Jamie observed Kate interacting

with her visitors. She was as composed as always in public, but

there was something else, a hint of shyness or awe that tugged at

Jamie. It was as if she had spent her life acting successful and sure

of herself, and actually being those things caught her by surprise.

Jamie felt a rush of pride in Kate’s accomplishments, and she hoped

Kate felt the same thing. Jamie winked when Kate glanced over and

caught her staring, earning one of those genuine Kate smiles that

had nothing to do with the rules of etiquette.

About an hour later, she finally caught Kate alone for a moment.

Most of the people had left the show grounds, and they had just

loaded the last horse into the van. Jamie helped Kate lift the heavy

ramp and slide it into place while Kate secured it carefully, making

sure the doors were firmly closed.

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“I haven’t had a chance to congratulate you yet,” Jamie said,

resting her shoulder against the van with her hands in her pockets.

The vehicle swayed slightly as the horses inside shifted around. “I

was very impressed today.”

“Thank you,” Kate said simply. She leaned against the van next

to Jamie with a sigh and rubbed her fingers absently over the blisters

on her palm. “It was the most exhausting show I’ve ever been to, but

the most exciting, too.”

“Do you like all of the attention?” Jamie asked, unsuccessfully

telling herself to stop prying, to stop foolishly wishing that Kate

would say the fame made her miserable. Kate wasn’t going to stop

wanting this dream, and Jamie could never ask her to give up the

Olympics for a shaky relationship with a workaholic.

“It’s fun because it’s so different for me,” Kate admitted. “But

a horse like Blaze is a big deal around here. On the Grand Prix

circuit, he’ll be just another in a lineup of really talented horses.

We’ll have to work harder to get this sort of attention, to keep from

blending in with the crowd.”

Jamie wanted to ask if the effort was worth it, but she made

herself shut up. She knew what Kate’s answer would be. “I hope

you realize you always stand out, even without that stallion,” she

said instead. “I’ve been watching you this weekend, and you’re very

popular here. Your students, other trainers and riders, they all go out

of their way to be around you, to talk to you.”

Kate looked at her in disbelief, and Jamie guessed she really had

no idea how other people saw her. Before she embarrassed herself

by saying she, too, could barely resist Kate’s pull, she changed the

subject. “I suppose you’ll do this same routine in reverse back at your

barn?” she asked, waving to indicate all the packing they had done.

“Most of it,” Kate said with a weary smile. “But I’ll leave some

for tomorrow. It’s been a long day.”

Jamie patted her on the shoulder in what she hoped was a

friendly, casual gesture. “Well, let’s get going then. I’ll meet you at

your barn.”

She turned to leave but Kate’s voice stopped her. “You really

don’t need to come home with me. Myra and my kids will help.”

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karis Walsh

Jamie just waved off her protests and headed out to the empty

parking lot. This was the end of her relationship with Kate, but there

was no reason she couldn’t make the day last at least a few hours

longer.

The trip back to Kate’s farm was short but slow as Jamie joined

the caravan of Kate’s students following the large horse van. Once

they arrived, Jamie once again helped haul piles of dirty tack and

equipment into the barn, secretly relieved she wouldn’t be the one

cleaning all of it the next day. After the excitement of the show, she

could sense the feeling of letdown among the riders, and they did

most of the work with little conversation. Jamie was amazed at the

amount of time it took to get the horses settled and fed, but she hung

around until after Myra and the last of the students left.

❖

Kate crammed an armload of sweaty saddle pads into the barn

washing machine and shut the lid. She would take care of them

tomorrow. She went into the yard and found Jamie there alone,

stacking empty water buckets in the shed. “Thanks for helping, I

really appreciate it,” Kate said when Jamie approached her. She

started walking toward the Mercedes to see Jamie off but stopped

when she realized she wasn’t following her. She stood there

awkwardly when Jamie made no move to leave. “If you want to

stick around, I have some saddles you can clean.”

“No thanks, I’d hate to deprive you of that pleasure,” Jamie

said with a smile. “But I do think I should stay with you for a little

longer. Someone should watch you in case you have a concussion.”

“I landed on my hip, not my head,” Kate said. “You don’t have

to—”“Come on,” Jamie waved toward the house. “You probably

want a shower, and I’ll see what I can make for dinner.”

Kate hoped that was a joke, but Jamie started walking to the

house without her. She jogged to catch up and tugged on Jamie’s

arm. “Jamie, this is ridiculous. I don’t need a babysitter.”

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Jamie stopped and faced her. “Kate. You don’t look well and

you’re walking funny. I’m going to stay here while you get cleaned

up and eat something, and then I will leave you alone. But I’m not

going anywhere until I’m sure you’re okay.”

Kate was too tired and sore, too emotional and raw to deal with

Jamie. She struggled against a ridiculous urge to cry as she read the

concern on Jamie’s face. The same concern she had heard in Jamie’s

voice after her fall, had felt in the arms that tried desperately to

keep her on the ground and out of the saddle. Kate wanted to hate

her, to hate the way she was acting, as overbearing and rude as she

had been during their first interviews. Bossy. And unbearably sweet.

Kate turned away to hide her threatening tears.

Jamie was prepared to argue all night, but Kate must have

read the determination in her eyes because she stopped fighting and

stomped toward the house, muttering under her breath. Jamie caught

the words overbearing and pigheaded, but she ignored them. Her

original intent had only been to make certain Kate got home and

settled before she left, but she had grown increasingly concerned

about her. Kate had done more than her share of unpacking, even

though Jamie and Myra had conspired to do most of the heavy

lifting. As the hours dragged on, Kate’s skin had taken on a grayish

hue, and she was obviously favoring her left side. She didn’t show

any signs of a concussion, but Jamie couldn’t just go home and

abandon Kate on the isolated farm.

Jamie followed Kate into the house where Kate stopped in the

entryway and blocked her from going down the hall. “There’s a bar

in the living room,” Kate pointed to her right. “And the kitchen’s

through there. Help yourself to whatever you want. I’m going back

to shower and change, and I’ll be sure to yell if I need your help.”

Jamie noted the obvious command to remain in the front of

the house, but she let it go. She wandered into the living room first

and poured a small glass of scotch while she looked around. The

walls were painted a light blue, and the décor was straight out of a

magazine. Chintz fabric covered the overstuffed sofa and chairs, and

the pastel florals blended perfectly with the walls and the mahogany

furniture. The prints on the walls were vague pastoral scenes that

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reminded Jamie of the forgettable pictures found in hotel rooms.

The bar was well stocked with highend liquor, but most of the

bottles were full and there was a light coat of dust on them. Jamie

guessed the supply was more an attempt to have anything on hand a

guest might request than for Kate’s personal use. But a halfempty

bourbon bottle stood at the front of the bar, and Jamie poured some

of that for Kate.

She carried both glasses with her as she went toward the kitchen,

passing a formal dining room on the way. Kate had decorated it with

pale lilac paint and a dark cherry table and sideboard. The kitchen

was slightly cheerier with its bright yellow paint, but its tooclean

look hinted at an occupant who either frequently ate out or forgot

to eat at all, not someone who needed eight dining room chairs and

a full set of ornately decorated china. Jamie checked the fridge

and found it as empty as she had expected. She wasn’t surprised

to discover the stash of takeout menus next to the phone, and she

ordered some Chinese food from a nearby restaurant. With dinner

on the way, she dropped a couple of ice cubes into Kate’s bourbon

and left her assigned part of the house.

Jamie pushed open a partially shut door and found Kate’s den.

The colors were brighter here, more vibrant, and the oak desk and

shelves were stained a light gold. Several bookshelves were crammed

with wellread horse books, quite a few of which were for kids and

must have been Kate’s childhood favorites. Several Hopper prints

hung on the walls, including Nighthawks, one that hung in Jamie’s

bedroom as well. While the front rooms could have belonged to

anyone, the contrast between the dark paintings of loners with the

clear, lively colors in the den was definitely Kate. Jamie guessed

Kate spent a lot of time here. The desk was covered with papers

and magazines and prize lists for horse shows. Jamie poked through

some of the piles and found invoices and lesson plans. The room

was as full of Kate’s personality as the front area of the house was

devoid of it.

The sound of water splashing in the shower pulled Jamie out

of the den and into Kate’s bedroom, decorated in a springlike mix

of greens, pinks, and blues, and accented with displays of photos as

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well as a bulletin board crammed with mementos. Jamie would have

been tempted to snoop around more if she hadn’t been so drawn by

the thought of Kate naked in the shower. She tapped on the open

door of the bathroom and Kate’s head appeared around the shower

curtain.

“You were supposed to stay out front,” Kate said accusingly.

Jamie held up the glass. “I thought you could use a drink,” she

said. “And are you really surprised I didn’t obey orders?”

Kate just rolled her eyes and disappeared back into the shower.

Of course the appropriate thing for Jamie to do would be to return

to the living room and wait for her. Instead, she set the drinks on

the counter and walked over to twitch the curtain aside. Kate was

rinsing shampoo from her hair with her back turned to Jamie.

“Jesus,” she swore loudly when she saw the darkening bruise

that covered Kate’s left side from her ribs to her hip. It was almost

enough to keep her from noticing the soapy stream that cascaded

over her perfect ass. Almost. Jamie had expected Kate to be

beautiful naked after watching her in those chaps, feeling her when

they danced, but she hadn’t expected her own body to respond so

instantly. Jamie watched the water flow over Kate and felt it rush

through her own body. Kate squeaked at the sound of Jamie’s

exclamation and turned to face her.

“I’m pale so I bruise easily,” Kate said matteroffactly, as if

explaining some small mark.

Jamie pulled the curtain open more and ran a hand lightly over

Kate’s side. “We need to get you xrayed. You might have some

cracked ribs.”

Kate shook her head. “I know what a cracked rib feels like, and

this isn’t it. My side is a little tender, though, so stop poking at me.”

“I’m just checking,” Jamie said, pressing gently against the

discolored area. She watched her fingers spread and span Kate’s

ribs, tan against the pale flesh at the edge of her bruise. Skin on skin.

For a brief moment this simple touch was enough. “Does this hurt?”

“What do you think?” Kate answered, slapping at Jamie’s hand

as it moved higher on her side. “Now get out of my shower,” she

added in an unconvincing tone.

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Jamie’s palm slid over to cup the underside of Kate’s breast, and

she watched, mesmerized, as Kate’s nipple hardened in response.

“I’m not bruised there,” Kate said with a frown, unable to hide

her quiet gasp as Jamie’s thumb grazed her erect nipple.

“Can’t be too careful,” Jamie murmured as she gently rolled

the stiff peak between her thumb and forefinger. “I recommend a

complete exam.”

“Jamie, please…” A quiet moan interrupted her. Jamie wasn’t

sure if it was please stop or please, more.

“I still haven’t heard a no,” she said, hesitating briefly, prepared

to let go if Kate asked her to. Instead, Kate sighed and threaded the

fingers of both hands through Jamie’s hair, pulling her forward for

a soft kiss.

“Yes,” she said with a half smile, as if she was as surprised by

the word as Jamie. She captured Jamie’s mouth in another kiss, this

one hungry with need. She whimpered softly in protest when Jamie

broke off the kiss, only to sigh and drop her head back as Jamie’s

lips moved slowly down her throat.

Jamie tugged gently on Kate’s right hip and pulled her closer so

her mouth could replace the hand she held at Kate’s breast, teasing

and sucking until Kate’s fingers tangled more firmly in her hair and

urged her closer. Jamie straightened out of her awkward position,

half in and half out of the shower, and shed her clothes quickly

before Kate could come to her senses and order her out of the room

again. She stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain closed.

Jamie pushed Kate back until her shoulders were under the

shower, and she followed the track of the water over Kate’s breasts

with just the tips of her fingers. She kept up her playfully light

touch, enjoying the sight of Kate’s eyes growing darker with arousal

until they were a deep forest green. Kate whimpered and bit her

lip, trying to arch closer to Jamie’s hands. When Jamie didn’t think

either of them could wait much longer, she reached around Kate’s

waist, careful to avoid her bruises, and slid the other hand down

Kate’s thigh.

She tugged insistently, lifting Kate’s leg so her foot rested on

the lower shelf of the shower. Kate’s fingers tightened on Jamie’s

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shoulders as she shifted to find her balance, and Jamie moved so

the length of her body was in contact with Kate’s, supporting her.

“Don’t worry, baby,” she whispered into Kate’s ear, nibbling on her

earlobe. “I won’t let you fall.”

Jamie thought she might drown in sensation as she slid her

hand between Kate’s parted thighs, feeling the wetness there that

had nothing to do with the shower. Warm. Welcoming. Kate had

invited her in. Jamie wasn’t just skimming the surface of a onenight

stand, but diving deep into everything Kate was. She struggled to

move slowly, wanting to savor the smooth silk under her fingers, but

Kate reached down and covered Jamie’s hand with her own.

“Take me, Jamie. Harder,” she growled in a voice heavy with

desire. Jamie was only too happy to oblige, and she entered her

firmly with two fingers while her thumb rubbed Kate’s swollen

clit. She settled on an insistent rhythm, urged on by Kate’s hand

on her wrist, driving Kate quickly to orgasm. She cried out loudly

and jerked against Jamie’s hand. Jamie held her in silence, her face

buried in Kate’s neck, until Kate dropped her leg back to the shower

floor.“And they say I’m the bossy one,” Jamie commented, smiling

as she pressed her lips to Kate’s wet skin and gently stroked her

back. Kate lifted her head to retort, but the sound of the doorbell

stopped her.

“Chinese food,” Jamie said, kissing her briefly on the lips. “I’ll

give him an extra tip for his impeccable timing.”

She got out of the shower and pulled on her clothes, leaving her

underthings on the floor. She hurried through the house, running a

hand through her damp hair, and paid for the food before grabbing

a couple of plates and carrying everything back to where Kate was

hastily drying off.

“We can eat at the table,” Kate offered, pulling on a robe.

“I am not sitting in that fancy dining room,” Jamie told her.

She quickly stripped again and slid under the covers of Kate’s bed.

She patted the place next to her, and Kate sighed before she took off

the robe and joined her. She moved closer and kissed Jamie on the

shoulder.

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“Maybe we can eat a little later,” Kate suggested. “I think I owe

you something.”

“Eleven sixtythree for your half of the food?” Jamie asked

innocently. Kate slapped her on the arm and set the bag of food on

the nightstand.

“Lie down,” she insisted.

Jamie raised her eyebrows at the imperious tone, but she

obeyed, lying back on the cool sheets and raising her arms toward

Kate. She moaned as Kate settled between her legs, teasing Jamie’s

breasts with her own before settling her weight fully onto her. Kate

dropped kisses on her cheeks and jawline before capturing her mouth

and sliding an insistent tongue inside. Jamie rubbed her hands over

Kate’s body, circling around the bruised areas, as she lost herself in

their kiss.

Kate eventually broke away from Jamie’s mouth and licked her

way down her neck and toward her small breasts. Jamie struggled

between arousal as Kate’s tongue whipped across her nipples and

the almost overwhelming urge to stop Kate’s determined progress.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had lain passively and

allowed another woman to give her pleasure, and she fought the

rising panic as Kate kissed her tense stomach muscles. But when

she slid lower and brushed a feathery kiss over Jamie’s inner thigh,

reaching with her fingers to swirl through Jamie’s wet center, the

intensity was just too much. Jamie sat halfway up and grabbed

Kate’s wrist firmly.

“Not inside,” she said roughly.

Kate raised her head and met Jamie’s eyes, the expression on

her face changing from dazed surprise to understanding.

“I won’t, sweetheart,” she said gently. When Jamie still didn’t

release her grip, she repeated herself. “I promise. I won’t.”

Jamie let go and dropped back on the bed, feeling a sense

of loss as her earlier desire was overshadowed by tension. Kate

anchored her hands firmly under Jamie’s hips, as if to control them,

and she lowered her mouth to nuzzle Jamie’s curls. Her movements

were unhurried as she kissed her way along Jamie’s inner thighs,

and Jamie groaned in surprise as her arousal returned full force. She

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clenched her fists in the sheets, letting go to the sensations as Kate’s

tongue finally breached her defenses and touched her soaking labia.

Kate licked close to Jamie’s clit, not touching it but never moving

far enough away to cause Jamie to panic, until something snapped

inside as Jamie realized she could trust this woman’s word. Her

legs spread farther apart and her head dropped back as she gave in

and pressed her hips against Kate’s mouth. As if recognizing her

surrender, Kate closed her lips over Jamie’s clit and sucked deeply,

flicking her tongue rapidly over the stiff nerves until Jamie cried out

her name and bucked underneath her.

Kate moved quickly to her side, wrapping her arms around

Jamie and kissing her with an almost reverent gentleness. For

the first time in too many years to count, Jamie tasted herself on

another woman’s mouth, and she was surprised to feel the stirring

of rekindled desire.

She laughed quietly against Kate’s mouth. “Mmm. You’ve

made me very hungry.”

“For dinner?” Kate asked, in between kisses.

“For you,” Jamie corrected her, urging Kate onto her back.

❖

Their dinner was cold by the time they straightened out the

covers and sat up to eat. Kate leaned against the headboard as she

struggled to capture a piece of chicken with her chopsticks. She

couldn’t remember a more exciting or challenging day than this,

with her thrilling win in the Grand Prix and then a couple of hours

of Jamie turning her inside out with pleasure. She could do without

the aching hip, but she was no longer sure how much of the soreness

was due to her fall and how much to her own straining toward

Jamie’s hand and mouth.

“I can get you a fork,” Jamie offered as the chicken dropped

out of the chopsticks halfway to Kate’s mouth. Jamie deftly snagged

it off Kate’s plate with her own chopsticks.

“You’re very good at that,” Kate observed.

“I have dexterous fingers,” Jamie informed her.

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“I noticed,” Kate said with a smile as she successfully transferred a pea pod from her plate to her mouth. Jamie leaned in for a kiss. “Don’t,” Kate warned. “I need to eat.”

Jamie sighed and scooted back to her side of the bed. “I’m

surprised you aren’t better at eating like this,” she said. “What if you

need to impress an international sponsor?”

“God, don’t say that to my parents,” Kate said with a groan.

“They’ll sign me up for lessons.”

Jamie laughed and expertly scooped up some rice. Kate watched

her as she ate, so relaxed and at home in Kate’s bed even though their

professional relationship until this time had been nothing but strain

and struggle. Jamie had been that way at first in their lovemaking,

too, fighting to keep Kate at a distance, until she had apparently

decided Kate wouldn’t push beyond the boundaries she set.

“Was it your stepfather?” Kate continued her line of thought

without realizing she was speaking out loud. Jamie stopped with a

bite of food partway to her mouth. She carefully set her chopsticks

on her plate, lining them up neatly.

“Yes.”

“When you were caught with the neighbor girl?”

“Yes.” Jamie met Kate’s eyes for only a second before she

dropped her gaze back to her plate. Kate kept silent as she watched

Jamie visibly struggle with the choice of whether to fully answer

Kate’s question or not. For the second time that evening Kate could

sense the exact moment when Jamie made a conscious decision to

trust her, when she gave a small sigh and started to speak again.

“He said he wanted to prove to me that I’d prefer to be with a

man rather than a woman. He seemed to enjoy it more than I did,

though,” she added with a humorless laugh. “It only happened a

couple of times when my mother was there, but it got worse when

Mom left us a few months later.”

“She left because of that?” Kate asked. She didn’t even try to

keep the anger out of her voice. She felt a helpless desire to protect

Jamie, to punish anyone who had hurt her.

“No, there were drug problems. Had been for a few years,”

Jamie shrugged it off as if it were no big deal. “Anyway, I didn’t

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think I had a choice except to put up with it, until a couple of years

later when my health teacher gave us one of those talks in school.

You know, the ‘no one should touch you there’ lecture. She saved

my life,” Jamie said quietly. “She’ll never know it, but she did.”

Kate watched Jamie’s face as she talked, their food forgotten.

Even Jamie’s speech patterns seemed to be reverting to her teen

years as she dredged up these memories. Kate wanted to reach out to

her, but she sensed that Jamie needed to talk more than she needed

to be touched.

“I had just turned fifteen, and one day I went to a friend’s after

he had…” Jamie waved off the rest of the sentence. “I had her take

pictures of the bruises and stuff, and I had two copies made. I put

one set in a safe deposit box at the bank and I gave the other to my

stepdad. I said either he helped me get my own place, or I’d take the

evidence to the police or CPS.”

“Why didn’t you just do that in the first place?”

Jamie looked up at her in surprise, as if she had forgotten

someone else was in the room. “They would have separated me and

Sara. She was only seven, and I thought she needed me.” She shook

her head. “Typical coward, he begged me not to tell, said he had just

been trying to help me. All I wanted was his signature. He signed the

lease on my first apartment, and later for a school loan, and then he

was out of my life completely. I worked nights as a waitress while I

finished high school, then I went to a voc-tech to learn to be a bank

teller. I got a job in the same bank where I had my deposit box and

paid my own way through college and grad school.”

As much as her own parents’ values were skewed, Kate had

never doubted their love and devotion to her. She had always been

safe with them. She couldn’t imagine her fifteen-year-old self, with

her cheerleader pompoms and homecoming queen aspirations,

going apartment and job hunting. “That was very brave for a young

girl to—”

“Not brave,” Jamie interrupted, her voice growing cold and

adult again. “Foolish. Sara would have been better off in a foster

home. I tried to give her security, to keep her safe from him, but

nothing I did was enough. I could provide a home, but I couldn’t

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love her like a parent. She was a typical rebellious teen, but with

more reason than most, and I guess she had the whole high school

experience for the both of us. Wild parties, drinking, sex. She was

pregnant at nineteen. Until then, she’d lived with me on and off.

After, she’d bring Anna with her to visit me when she needed cash,

but most of the time she kept me out of her life.”

Kate set her plate on the nightstand and reached for Jamie’s as

well. She snuggled closer, feeling Jamie’s arms circle around her

tightly as she spoke.

“We were arguing that night, about how she was raising Anna.

She said she gave her daughter more love than I had ever given her,

and she stormed out. It was the last time I saw her alive. She was

right though, and I’ve done the same thing with Anna. I buy her

what she needs, things she wants, but it’s just not enough.”

Kate sat up and reached for Jamie’s chin, forcing her to meet

her eyes. “She wasn’t right. You did the best you could at fifteen.

You gave up your own childhood to protect hers. Maybe you made

mistakes, but you’re not a young girl anymore, and you can make it

better with Anna. You already are.”

Jamie pulled Kate to her roughly and kissed her as if trying

to blot out the memories. Soon her lips softened and the kiss eased

back into one of simple desire. Kate slid a hand down and cupped

Jamie gently.

“This part of you is so beautiful, so special to me,” she

whispered. “I will never touch you anywhere unless you want me

to.” Jamie closed her eyes and pressed Kate onto the bed, burrowing

into her embrace. They remained that way for a long time, touching

without moving beyond intimacy to sex, until neither one could

hold back the desire they brought out in each other.

❖

Jamie woke up with a start, unable to recall where she was

for several moments. Then Kate stirred against her with a small

whimpering sigh, and the night came back to Jamie in a rush. She

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settled closer to Kate’s back, her thigh warm and damp where it

nestled between Kate’s legs. In her usual bargain, Jamie decided

to allow herself just a few more minutes like this before she got up

and left.

Surprisingly, she didn’t regret her actions of the night before.

Touching Kate, making love with her, had been more than Jamie

had anticipated. Even talking to her about the past had felt strangely

okay, and that shocked Jamie more than anything. Since confiding

in her friend in middle school, she had never spoken of her stepdad

to another person, not even to Sara, although in hindsight that might

have been another mistake. Jamie wondered if things would have

been different if Sara had understood why Jamie had dragged her

away from the only family she knew. Maybe, maybe not. Her younger

self had no chance of replacing the mother who’d abandoned a five-

yearold daughter, so perhaps Sara had been set on her course even

before Jamie had the chance to screw her up even more.

Jamie buried her face in Kate’s soft blond hair, memorizing

her scent and trying to imprint the feel of holding her into her mind.

So many things Jamie had experienced with Kate, because of Kate,

were brandnew to her. Rationally thinking about Sara and what had

happened between them seemed to be an important step forward.

She had talked to Kate about her past, had set some limits to their

intimacy, but she hadn’t fallen apart or cried or even pushed Kate

away. Yet. Jamie decided there might be some hope for her, maybe

not in a relationship with a lover, but definitely with Anna. Kate

had forced her to shift her way of thinking, open herself up to some

different possibilities. And just like her longago teacher, Kate could

never know what she had done.

Part of Jamie wanted to wake Kate and thank her, share some of

her thoughts and plans, but a larger part knew that couldn’t happen.

She had seen the way Kate looked at her last night. Compassionate

Kate, loving and so quick to connect and empathize with other

people, had already gotten far too tangled and emotionally involved

in Jamie’s screwedup life. Jamie was certain she could convince

Kate to stay with her, to give up her Olympic dreams and remain

here in Oregon. But that wouldn’t be fair to Kate, and Jamie had

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to fight temptation with all of her self-taught discipline. Jamie had

made choices for Sara, changed the course of her life, and limited

her possibilities. She wouldn’t do the same thing to Kate. She had

already been almost unbearably selfish in sharing her past, allowing

their intimacy to extend beyond something purely physical. Now

she had to think of Kate’s needs before her own.

Jamie sighed. That meant she had to leave. Not just walk out,

but make certain Kate would never try to follow her. She slid her

leg out from under Kate, debated internally about stealing one last

time together as her desire rose again, and then steeled herself to get

away.Jamie got out of the warm bed and started hunting for her

clothes, trying to look as if she was sneaking out while still making

enough noise to wake Kate. Jamie felt her breath catch as she stood

still and watched Kate reach for where she had been lying just

moments before and murmur her name.

The biggest problem with letting feelings in was you felt every

crack as your heart broke.

Kate rolled over. “You have to go?” she asked in a sleepy voice.

“Yes,” Jamie said. She came over to the bed and kissed Kate

on the forehead.

“You’re sure you can’t stay for just a little longer?” Kate snaked

her arms around Jamie’s waist and tugged her onto the bed. Jamie

resisted her pulling, and Kate sat up and kissed her.

Jamie somehow summoned enough willpower to break free. “I

really have to go,” she said, taking hold of Kate’s wrists and sliding

out of her embrace. “I’m due at the office early. But thanks for last

night, it was fun.”

Kate frowned as if fun wasn’t the word she would have chosen.

“Yes, it was. I’m glad you stayed.”

“Me, too. You saved me a trip to a bar last night. I could get

used to this mixing business and pleasure idea. It’s a lot less effort.”

“Multitasking,” Kate said with a distant smile. Jamie was

surprised at how quickly she had erected her usual barriers, but

Jamie could see past them to Kate’s pain and confusion. “Glad I

could be of service.”

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“It’ll reflect well in my evaluation,” Jamie said with a wink,

slapping Kate lightly on the hip that wasn’t bruised.

Jamie walked out of the room. She could feel Kate’s eyes on her,

and she could clearly picture the hurt look in them without needing

to turn around and see it. She moved quickly through the house and

shut the front door behind her, leaning against it as she fought the

urge to go back inside. She knew Kate would hate her for being

so cavalier about their lovemaking, and she would just assume that

was how Jamie treated every woman she slept with. And that wasn’t

true at all. Jamie might not have relationships that lasted longer than

the average movie, but she always made sure the women involved

clearly understood the rules of the game. She couldn’t say the same

for Kate, and she had stepped into that shower knowing full well

Kate wasn’t a onenight stand type of woman. And Jamie had talked

about her past in a way that would make any woman expect there

to be a possibility of a future between them. Finally, sinking into

her guilt, Jamie pushed away from the door and walked to her car,

driving away without a backward glance.

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Chapter sixteen

By the time Jenn arrived at the office Monday morning,

Jamie had already been there for a couple of hours. She

hadn’t gone straight home after leaving Kate but had instead driven

Portland’s empty streets until it was time for Anna to get up. Then

she went back to the condo for breakfast with Anna and Elaine

before taking a quick shower and going to work.

Jenn came into the office and replaced Jamie’s cold coffee with

a fresh cup. Jamie thanked her and handed over a thick folder.

“I need you to get this to the PR department,” she said.

“Priority.”

“Is this about Kaitlyn Brown’s sponsorship?” Jenn asked,

hesitating by the desk.

Jamie sighed and turned away from her computer screen. “I’ve

recommended we give her the money,” she said and then looked

back at the stock analysis displayed on her screen. “Like you weren’t

going to read it yourself on the way to PR.”

Jenn didn’t acknowledge the muttered comment. “Well, I’m

glad you decided in her favor,” she said, walking toward the door as

she spoke. “Now we can get back to normal around here. No more

going out to lunch, or spending weekends with friends and family,

or dressing up and having fun at parties…”

Jenn shut the door firmly before Jamie had a chance to comment.

That was just as well. Jenn’s usual response to any criticism from

Jamie was laughter, but Jamie couldn’t complain. The reason she

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kept her as an assistant was because Jamie could pretend she was

boss and Jenn would constantly prove she really wasn’t. Jamie

sighed and tried to follow the numbers in front of her as she prepared

for the conference call with Brenda Colton’s investment club.

She blamed her inattention on a lack of sleep, but mainly it was

the cause of her sleepless night that kept her from focusing. Images

of Kate in the shower, in bed, at the show, kept flowing through her

mind. She put a hand on her stomach, unaccustomed to the clenching

desire she felt when she pictured Kate between her legs. Sex had

always been about controlling another woman’s pleasure and finding

a quick release for herself. She had never submitted so completely

to someone’s touch as she had with Kate, had never imagined she

would be able to. She turned her chair around and stared out at the

Willamette. She had missed her usual morning rowing session and

that was never good for her mood. She was tempted to fight the

crowds and go now, but there were too many larger boats motoring

up and down the river to let her have a safe run.

Jamie gave up on the investment portfolio for the moment,

unwilling to give it less than her full concentration, and turned instead

to putting the final touches on the loan request from the owner of

the Taj Mahal. She recommended Davison and Burke accept this

application as well, with a few provisions. Her research showed

the city seemed able to support another Indian restaurant, and she

had been impressed by the owner’s cooking skills and menu. But

his accounting practices were haphazard and amateur, and Jamie

suggested the bank give him capital for one new restaurant instead of

the two he had originally wanted them to fund. If he complied with

her other requirements—taking a few business classes and working

closely with one of their financial advisors—then she thought they

should help him open the third. His enthusiasm and work ethic

were strongly in his favor, and Jamie was looking forward to being

at the new restaurant on opening night. She just wouldn’t order

one of everything this time, she thought with a fond smile as she

remembered her lunch with Kate.

Damn, did everything have to remind her of Kate? She dropped

the completed folder on Jenn’s desk for delivery, ignoring her

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comment that the rest of the world used interoffice e-mail to transmit

reports rather than handwriting them and making overworked

assistants haul them around. Jamie prowled around the office, staring

out at the river more than at her computer screen. Finally, she gave

up pretending to work, called Elaine, and asked her to bring Anna for

an afterschool picnic in the park that ran along the Willamette. She

only suggested the outing to get her mind off Kate, but she refused

to let herself feel guilty. No matter what her initial motivation, any

step toward a relationship with Anna had to be a good thing. Maybe

it wasn’t really Kate she loved after all, Jamie tried to convince

herself as she picked up a sack of hamburgers at a local diner.

Maybe she had simply enjoyed a new sense of companionship over

the past couple of weeks, a change from her usual social isolation.

She walked down to the river and sat on a bench to wait for Anna

and Elaine. Or maybe she should just focus on not jumping into the

flowing water and letting it drag her out to sea.

❖

Kate spent Monday morning busily scrubbing saddles,

unpacking trunks, and washing a huge pile of saddle pads and stable

bandages. Her entire body ached from the fall and from two days

of riding the powerful stallion, but the soreness only reminded her

of sex with Jamie. Unfortunately, everything around her reminded

her of sex with Jamie. She was furious for letting herself be used by

a selfproclaimed womanizer and embarrassed for falling into bed

so easily with a woman who obviously was incapable of caring for

anyone.

She knew deep inside that she wasn’t being entirely fair, but

her fuming helped her get past those humiliating moments when she

too clearly pictured herself screaming Jamie’s name, begging for

her touch, demanding more. Jamie had never claimed to want more

than a casual fling, and if Kate thought their night together meant

more than that, it was her own fault. They had fought and flirted

their way through the past few weeks, and if Kate had been stupid

enough to fall in love…

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“You are not in love with her,” she said out loud as she slapped

a sponge full of saddle soap onto her saddle. Of course she wasn’t.

She respected Jamie’s business sense and her successful career.

She even enjoyed spending time with her on those rare occasions

when they managed to communicate. And she found her somewhat

attractive. Kate shook her head and tried to dislodge the memory of

Jamie wet and naked in her shower, wet and naked in her bed. That

had nothing to do with love, at least not in Kate’s experience.

She had to admit that the intense physical attraction she felt

for Jamie was the main quality missing from all of her previous

relationships. Her walls had been in place for too many years, walls

designed to protect her parents, walls carefully constructed so they

only showed the appropriate version of Kate and her family. She had

longed for someone to come along with enough strength and passion

to help her tear them down, since she couldn’t do it by herself. Jamie

was the only one who had been able to do that, but when she saw the

real Kate, she ran away. Bossy Kate. The Kate who was messy and

a little wild under her controlled façade.

Kate felt tears sting her eyes as she realized what that meant.

She had trusted Jamie with her defenseless self, and Jamie had

rejected her. She felt betrayed, but the expectations of love had only

been on her side. All Jamie wanted from the relationship was an

hour or two of sex. She tried to blame her aching heart on bruised

ribs, but she knew the truth. She knew sex didn’t always have to

lead to a commitment in relationships, but she had let Jamie inside

somehow, and once she got in, she’d trashed the place.

Kate wiped the saddle off with a dry towel and carried it

over to Topper’s stall. She quickly groomed her horse and tossed

the saddle, still sticky from the soap, onto his back. They set off

along the trail that followed the outer perimeter of the housing

development. Although the grassy path led past houses and yards,

the trees and heavy shrubbery gave Kate the illusion of privacy.

Kate always welcomed the chance to get away from people and

enclosed arenas, and she especially appreciated it now when her

emotions were far too close to the surface for her to be able to hide

them from anyone.

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A few minutes in the saddle helped settle her, at least physically.

The ache in her hip eased with the gentle sway of Topper’s stride,

and after her week with Blaze it was a pleasure to simply ride

without a constant battle for control. She walked for fifteen minutes,

doing the same stretching routines she used in some of her therapy

lessons, until the only pain left came from her wounded ego. She

urged Topper into a faster gait, and they trotted along under the

bright summer sun until she came to a series of jumps she had set up

when she’d first moved to this barn. Then she picked up a canter and

sent Topper over the first one, pushing him faster at each one. Her

pace was a little reckless, but she knew she could trust her horse, and

the fast gallop helped clear her head. By the time she pulled Topper

back to a walk, she could even think of Jamie without wanting to

club her over the head. At least not too hard.

She loosened her reins and let her horse stretch his neck out as

they headed back to the barn. Jamie was still not far from her mind,

and she tentatively let herself bring up the question of love again.

She had to ask herself if what she really felt was love or simply her

typical urge to help anyone who was hurting. Yes, she felt sorry for

what Jamie had experienced as a child, but mostly she was awed by

the drive and self-sufficiency Jamie had shown. And Kate admired

how hard Jamie was trying to improve her relationship with Anna,

even though it seemed difficult for her to accept any degree of

intimacy with another person.

Now that Kate was thinking more clearly, she knew that fact

was the one thing most confusing about Jamie’s overnight change.

She couldn’t reconcile the woman who had talked about such a

significant event from her past with the breezy swinger who’d left

her alone in bed with a wink and a slap. And there was no way

Jamie’s confession had been some sort of seduction routine. So why

open herself up to Kate if she was only planning to leave at the first

opportunity?

Perhaps Jamie had run away from more than her. Maybe she

couldn’t handle the intimacy of sharing more than just a night of sex.

If this was Jamie’s way of putting emotional distance between them,

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then no matter how much it hurt Kate, she would have to respect her

decision. She made a promise last night that she wouldn’t push past

the boundaries Jamie set, and she would keep that promise. And

anyway, if all went well, she’d be heading east and she could nurse

her hurt feelings far away from this city, and far away from Jamie.

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Chapter seventeen

Kate sat back in her desk chair and watched the pages of

the grant proposal slide out of her printer. She had made

the changes Jamie had recommended, grudgingly agreeing that her

original draft was much too ambitious for the amount of time Myra

would be able to devote to the program. Still, her fingers tapped

idly on the binder containing the more complete version as she

imagined how much she could expand the existing therapy sessions

with the foundation’s grant at her disposal. More horses, more time,

specialized speech and physical therapists. She sighed as the final

pages dropped into the printer’s tray and she tucked them neatly

into a manila envelope. She had spent months writing detailed plans

for the program’s growth, ever since she had first started looking for

funding for the stallion and Myra had offered to keep her lessons

going. She had gotten a little carried away, and it was difficult to

scale back her vision.

After tomorrow, though, she would officially be endorsed

by Davison and Burke, and she would be leaving for Canada to

compete within a month. A representative from the PR department

had called this morning with their formal offer, and she would be

signing the contract tomorrow. After that, an official press release

would go out, and she would be heading to Calgary for the Masters

Tournament. The huge Canadian show would be her first experience

competing against some of the top international riders on the circuit.

Kate was sure the excitement would kick in after a couple of days.

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The only reason she felt so deflated was it was difficult to accept that

she had finally made it.

Kate quickly pulled her hair into a ponytail and grabbed the

grant proposal on her way out to the therapy lesson. She waved

as Elaine’s van pulled in, not surprised that Jamie was nowhere in

sight. Her first reaction to the call about her sponsorship had been

disbelief that Jamie hadn’t rejected it after their night together, but

deep inside she knew Jamie had integrity in her business life, if

nowhere else. Kate was certain her endorsement had nothing to do

with guilt or sex. It would have been based solely on her belief that

Kate would represent the company well, and the realization gave

her an unexpected sense of pride. Earning Jamie’s respect wasn’t

an easy accomplishment, and Kate hated how much it meant to her.

Kate stopped by the small barn to check Blaze’s water,

mainly as a delaying tactic. She wanted to put off this lesson as

long as possible, since it would be the last therapy group she’d

teach here, and starting next week she would be one of Myra’s

volunteers until she left town. She lingered in the stall, rubbing

Blaze’s forehead until he got bored and walked away. Their ride

this morning had been uneventful, which was a good thing with

this horse. She and the stallion were getting more comfortable

together. He would never be as easygoing and willing to please

as Topper, but his drive and charisma were part of what made him

Olympic material. They were qualities Kate had always thought

she wanted in a horse. So far, though, his energy seemed to sap

hers, and she hoped that at the end of her five-year campaign she

wouldn’t be shriveled to nothing.

The sound of footsteps broke her introspection. “You okay?”

Myra asked, leaning on Blaze’s door. Kate turned and gave her a

sad smile.

“Just overwhelmed,” she said. She handed Myra the grant

proposal. “The arrogant bitch decided to approve my sponsorship.”

Myra caught her friend in an enthusiastic hug. “That’s great.

You really deserve it.”

“Thanks,” Kate said. “I guess I’m just a little sad because this

will be my last time to teach the group.”

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“You have a few weeks before you go, so let’s enjoy them,”

Myra said, draping an arm over Kate’s shoulders as they walked.

“You can cry all you want on the last day.”

Kate reached around Myra’s waist and gave her a squeeze,

and they walked together toward the arena. She was going to miss

having someone like Myra to talk to, someone who knew her so

well.“So, was the sex at least good while it lasted?” Myra asked

when they were still out of earshot of the students and volunteers.

Kate came to a halt and pulled away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, but Myra

only laughed.

“Please, she went from ‘Jamie’ to ‘arrogant bitch’ in a couple of

days. And now you’re blushing brighter than Chris’s Tshirt. You’re

really not so difficult to read.”

Myra walked away laughing, leaving Kate standing speechless,

trying to control her thoughts before she approached her riders. She

was embarrassed Myra knew about her and Jamie, something she

had hoped to keep secret forever, and as if that weren’t bad enough,

now she was thinking about sex again. Remembering Jamie’s touch

in the shower, so gentle on her bruised ribs but so firm where Kate

needed her. And Jamie’s strength, as she supported Kate after her

orgasm and later allowed herself to turn to liquid under Kate’s

tongue. Kate had labored to exorcise the memory of that night with

Jamie from her mind, but at the slightest provocation it came rushing

back. Maybe she wouldn’t miss Myra as much as she had thought.

“My, you look like you’ve been getting too much sun,” Elaine

commented, pushing Anna’s chair toward her.

“I forgot sunscreen this morning,” Kate latched on to the handy

explanation of her blush. She wasn’t sure how she’d explain when

it magically disappeared, and she covered her embarrassment by

crouching down to speak to Anna. Unfortunately, the little girl’s

main topic of conversation was yesterday’s picnic with her aunt by

the river. Kate sighed as she listened, hoping Canada would prove

to be far enough to run to get away from Jamie.

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“Jamie said she walked with one of the riders at Anna’s last

lesson,” Elaine said as they joined the rest of the group. “I’m not

sure if I’ll be as much help as she was, but I’m happy to learn.”

Kate thought for a moment and then noticed Gwen sitting

stiffly on a bench by the arena door. It looked as if she might be

having a difficult day with her MS.

“Maybe you could walk with Gwen and help with her exercises.

She doesn’t need to be supported on the horse, but when she’s

hurting, a ground person can get her to stretch a little deeper.”

She introduced Elaine to Gwen, and the two seemed comfortable

with each other. As Elaine started to check Gwen’s range of motion,

she left them and went over to the group waiting for her by the

mounting block. Myra and Chris were chatting with Bev, and Kate

smiled at her before turning to Alex. She knelt by the boy who

seemed lost in his own world.

“Hi, Alex,” she said, lifting his hand to her cheek and tapping

it lightly to try to get his attention. It didn’t always work, but today

he briefly focused on her face.

“Kate,” he said quietly before he turned inward again. She let

his hand drop and blinked rapidly to ease the sudden ache of tears.

Just one small word, from a child who hadn’t spoken at all before

he started coming around the horses, and it was enough to make her

cry like a little girl. She felt a little foolish until she looked up to

meet Bev’s gaze.

“He likes you,” Alex’s mom said with a satisfied smile, clearly

unashamed of the tears in her own perpetually tiredlooking eyes.

“Cool, dude,” Chris said with a nod of approval as he walked

over to untie Frosty and Myra squeezed Kate wordlessly on her

shoulder before she led Alex to the mounting block. Kate watched

her friends and students getting ready for the lesson in a routine

so familiar Kate had stopped noticing it. Somehow, while she had

been searching for some vision of success that was always out of

reach, someplace to really feel she belonged, she had managed to

surround herself with people who saw value in the same things she

did. This was home, her family, a place where she could be herself.

Even without a mirror, she could imagine the expression on her

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own face. It would be the same one Jamie had seen when she first

came to Kate’s barn, when she had stood so close and looked at

her with those eyes that managed to see into Kate’s soul. You don’t

want to go.

“I don’t want to go,” Kate echoed quietly as she stood in place

and watched her friends and students getting ready for the lesson.

She walked past Anna who was chatting with a couple of Kate’s

other students about the hobby they now shared. She met Anna’s

eyes and gave her a quick wink as she walked past, suddenly glad to

be exactly where she was.

❖

One, two, three. Jamie started counting the strokes on the catch

as her oars entered the water. The simple progression of numbers

helped her focus more quickly so nothing would distract her mind

from the efficiency of the movement. She was careful to barely skim

the surface with her oars so they propelled the scull forward, and

not let them cut too deeply and waste her energy pushing through

the water. Three days since she last saw Kate. Not that she was

counting. Jamie’s scull veered off course and she carefully corrected

her stroke.

Twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight. She drove the oars

through the water as if she were in a race, trying desperately to

outrun her memory of Kate’s arm reaching over to her side of the

bed after Jamie had slipped away from her. Kate murmuring her

name in a sleepy voice laced with desire, a call so strong that Jamie

felt her whole body respond even now. She shoved harder with the

oars which only managed to break her rhythm, and she made herself

listen to the numbers instead of Kate’s imagined voice.

Forty-three, forty-four, forty-five. A gentle release and recovery

so the oars left neatly spaced, tiny puddles in her wake. Although

she was facing away from her goal, Jamie could picture every detail

of the Hawthorne Bridge. She, Anna, and Elaine had eaten their

picnic near it on Monday, and she had spent the whole damned time

wishing she could have asked Kate to join them. It was one thing

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to long for Kate when she was in bed at night, but to miss her at

a simple meal? To want her there to share something so trivial?

Simple sexual attraction was easy for Jamie to understand and

to dismiss, but this went well beyond that. Somehow Kate was

everywhere in her life, and there wasn’t a single part of it that felt

complete without her.

One, two, three. Jamie lost count somewhere, but she started

from the beginning. What mattered to her wasn’t the numbers

themselves, but their ability to take up the space in her mind that

Kate occupied. Last night over dinner, Kate and the riding lesson

had been all Anna and Elaine could talk about. Jamie listened to

them and she wished she had gone with them, not just to see Kate

but to share the afternoon with her niece. Anna had trotted a few

steps on Spot, and Jamie hated that she hadn’t been there to see it.

She knew how much it meant to Anna to do such a seemingly simple

thing, and she was surprised to realize how important it had become

to her, too. That damned Kate had helped her to open up just enough

to miss what she didn’t have.

Jamie stopped rowing and rested her head briefly on her bent

knees. She had been driving herself toward some destination she

couldn’t see, and suddenly it didn’t seem worth the effort. She was

tired of fighting against the current when all she wanted was to be

back drifting on the lake with Kate’s bare feet propped next to her,

her low drawl talking about anything at all. Jamie dunked one oar

in the water and turned the scull back toward the boathouse. Her

numbers had failed her, and she had nearly run her boat into a pylon,

so it was time to give up.

❖

A few hours later, she prowled back and forth in her office,

watching the clock and ignoring her work. Kate would be arriving

soon, to meet with the PR representatives and sign her contract. This

weekend there would be a party at Carl Burke’s house following

the official press release, and there was no legitimate way Jamie

could back out of it. Her name had become linked with Kate’s here

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at Davison and Burke, and she would be expected to help Kate

through her first function with her new sponsors. Kate would be in

her element at the party, not needing any assistance and certainly

not welcoming any from Jamie after the way she had left Sunday

night. Still, it would be their last time together, and Jamie hoped

they might be able to talk civilly and leave their relationship on a

better note.

Jamie ran her hands through her hair. She couldn’t count how

many times in the past few weeks she had pinpointed a moment

that would be her last time to see Kate only to find some excuse to

require yet another meeting. So what was one more?

She sat at her desk and stared at the legal pad in front of her

that was covered with bulleted lists, most of them crossed out in

frustration. The hastily scribbled notes were the result of two

hours of hopeless planning, a search for an option that would let

her and Kate try to make a relationship work. She had spent the

morning researching medical facilities in various areas, as well as

job opportunities for her, and comparing them with the scheduled

competitions on the Grand Prix circuit. But even if she were willing

to move Anna across the country, they wouldn’t be able to follow

Kate as she traveled to shows and went abroad for months at a time.

Jamie tossed the pad aside and ran her fingers through her hair

again. She knew Kate would be under enough stress as her whole

life turned upside down over the next month, and she didn’t want to

add to it. So she had tried to treat their relationship like a business

deal. She’d decided if she could come up with one or two viable

solutions to the problem of a longdistance relationship, then she

would approach Kate with her proposition. All of her calculations

about travel times and mileage charts left her with one conclusion.

She didn’t have an answer, a way to make a relationship with Kate

work. But the only thing her notes told her for certain was she

desperately wanted it to work.

Jamie had let Kate close, had trusted Kate with her body,

her past. Jamie’s childhood pain, her memories, her barriers were

familiar. She had survived them and would continue to, even without

Kate. Even if putting her future in Kate’s hands were logistically

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possible, she would have to accept the risk of being hurt in a whole

new way. And she didn’t know if she could face those consequences

alone. But she could no longer hide behind her numbers, behind the

safety of her scars.

The thought of suggesting a relationship to Kate without having

a plan to make it work was as ludicrous as telling a potential client

she hoped she’d eventually find a way to invest their money wisely.

But it was her only option. Jamie stood up and slid the legal pad off

her desk and into the wastepaper basket.

“I have to pick up a contract from the legal department,” she

said as she walked past Jenn’s desk.

“She’s not there,” Jenn informed her, not looking up from the

letter she was typing.

“Who’s not where?”

Jenn gave a longsuffering sigh and turned away from her

computer, frowning as she examined Jamie. “What happened to your

hair? Anyway, Kate called Ben Simon this morning and withdrew

her application for sponsorship. If you’re heading to PR, she’s not

there.”

“I was heading to legal, not PR,” Jamie halfheartedly protested.

She stood by Jenn’s desk, tapping her fingers on it as she tried to

sort through the emotions washing over her. She felt confusion, of

course, and curiosity about why Kate would suddenly abandon her

dream. Most of all, though, she felt a foreign sense of happiness.

Jamie went back into her office and grabbed her coat and keys

before heading out. “Are you expecting it to be cold in legal?” Jenn

called after her innocently.

“Shut up,” Jamie said with a grin. She expected a chilly

reception but finally dared to hope it would heat up quickly.

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Worth the risk

Chapter eighteen

Jamie drove a little faster than usual on her way to Wilsonville,

smiling at the thought of how some of her turns would have

made Kate grab the dashboard. She slowed to an impatient crawl

through the neighborhood surrounding Kate’s barn and finally

pulled to a stop near the house.

The stables were quiet, with no other cars in the lot and most

of the horses lounging in their paddocks. Jamie first knocked on the

door and then went searching for Kate in the barn. She found her

halfway down the aisle, mucking out a stall with her back to Jamie.

“Hey,” Jamie said, lounging casually against the open door.

Kate jumped and turned to face Jamie, her expression quickly

turning from surprise to an unwelcoming frown. “I should have

known you’d come,” she said, flinging a pile of manure into the

wheelbarrow next to Jamie.

“Office grapevine says you’ve retracted your application,”

Jamie said, refusing to move even though she knew there was a

good chance the next rake full would land on her head.

“And you’re here to what? Talk me out of it? Yell at me for

wasting your precious company’s time?”

Jamie had been expecting a more joyous reunion than this, but

she made herself recall the last words she had spoken to Kate. She

deserved all the anger this woman wanted to throw her way.

“Maybe I just want to know why.”

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Kate stabbed the rake into the shavings. “I don’t want to leave

here. I don’t want to ride that horse for the next five years,” she said,

not meeting Jamie’s eyes. “And I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Try me,” Jamie insisted.

“I didn’t realize I owed you an explanation,” Kate said as she

pushed past Jamie and headed to the next stall.

Jamie followed, undeterred when Kate ran the wheelbarrow

over her foot. It was heavier than Jamie had expected but she didn’t

change her expression. She’d accept the physical pain as punishment

for hurting Kate after their night together. “As a matter of fact, you

do. I spent a lot of time working on this project.”

“So bill me, and we’ll be even.”

“You really want to pay my hourly rate?” Kate shrugged and

Jamie started ticking off numbers on her hand. “Okay, there’s time

I spent doing research, two trips out here to watch you ride, the

Hadley party, the Country Classic. I’ll deduct the hours I spent on

other business while I was there, of course. I’m over thirty hours

already, plus expenses. Do you want me to go on?”

Kate stepped closer. “If you add the time we spent having sex to

that list, I will throw something at you. And you probably wouldn’t

like any of the options I have at hand right now.”

“Don’t worry,” Jamie said, straightening out of her casual pose.

“I consider myself well compensated for that night.”

They glared at each other while Jamie struggled to find a way

to fix whatever was going horribly wrong with this conversation.

She rubbed a hand wearily over her eyes. “I didn’t come here to

fight with you or to get your money.”

“Then why did you come?”

“To see you,” Jamie said vaguely. “To understand why you’re

staying. To find out if it’s because of me…of us.”

“I sent in the grant proposal,” Kate said after an apparent

struggle with herself. “The way I originally wrote it, so I can expand

the therapy program.”

“I see,” Jamie said, feeling a small surge of irrational anger

that Kate hadn’t told her about this. Not because she really cared

about the time and effort she had put into analyzing the sponsorship

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application. She simply felt hurt because Kate hadn’t sought her out

to talk.

“I told you that you wouldn’t understand,” Kate said, sounding

frustrated at Jamie’s clipped tone. “I figured out it meant more to

me than any medal could. I know that would never make sense to

someone like you.”

Jamie spoke in a softer voice. “I saw you teaching Anna’s

lesson, Kate. I could tell what it meant to you. I just wish you had

trusted me enough to tell me in person. Like I said at the show, I

only want you to succeed. In whatever you decide to do.”

Kate picked at the wooden handle of the rake with her thumbnail.

Her anger, prompted by Jamie’s imperious attitude, dissipated as

Jamie’s irritation became more obvious. Kate had been anticipating

and dreading this encounter, and now she could see Jamie wasn’t as

indifferent as she pretended to be. A tiny thrill of hope shuddered

through Kate. Jamie had run away from her, but now she had come

back. But Kate was afraid to bring up more personal topics until she

could figure out how Jamie really felt. “Then would this be a good

time to ask you to be a reference on the grant application?”

Jamie raised her eyebrows. “Should I assume you already listed

me as one?”

“I thought you might put Anna’s needs ahead of your own. The

improvements I want to make will help her, too.”

Jamie laughed and stepped closer, reaching over to brush her

fingers under Kate’s chin and drawing her eyes to Jamie’s. “So you

aren’t staying because of me?”

“Change my life plans because of one night of sex?” Kate

evaded the question for the second time. She refused to let Jamie

know how close she had come to doing just that. “Of course not.”

“Good. As long as we’re clear about where we stand,” Jamie

said as she stepped away. The loss of Jamie’s touch was almost

painful, and Kate barely stopped herself from involuntarily moving

to reestablish their contact. She thought Jamie might have smiled as

she swayed slightly before catching herself.

“Very clear,” Kate said, recovering smoothly.

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“So you chose to stay here on your own, and our professional

relationship is over?”

“Yes,” Kate said simply, returning to her work. Jamie watched

her silently. “So why are you still here?” Kate finally asked.

“Have dinner with me.”

Kate stopped cleaning and stared at her. “What?”

“I’m asking you on a date,” Jamie said, enunciating each word.

She was asking for so much more, but she was afraid to let Kate

know yet. “Please have dinner with me.”

“You’re asking me on a date?”

“I thought I was pretty clear on that point.”

Jamie held her breath. No stock trade or investment deal had

ever made her so anxious. Her future hinged on Kate’s answer.

“Okay.”

“Good. Tonight?”

“I’m done teaching by seven,” Kate said. Jamie just nodded

and turned to leave but Kate called her back. “Can I drive?”

“Your truck?” Jamie asked with a frown.

“No, your car.”

“I’ll have to think about that,” Jamie said as she left, even

though she knew there was nothing Kate could ask that she would

deny her.

❖

Kate managed to change outfits several times between her last

lesson and Jamie’s prompt arrival at seven. She didn’t dwell too

long on the question of why she cared how she looked for Jamie, let

alone why she had agreed to go out with her. Still, she couldn’t stop

her answering smile when she opened the door and saw the look

in Jamie’s eyes as her gaze traveled over the form-fitting burgundy

dress Kate had finally decided to wear. Kate had spent her life

dressing for roles, playing parts. But she could feel Jamie’s gaze on

her, slowly stripping away her clothes, her masks. Jamie saw her in

a dress—not an image Kate was trying to project. For once, clothes

didn’t matter. Except as something to be torn off at the end of the

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Worth the risk

evening. Jamie kissed her on the cheek and let her arms slip around

Kate’s waist in a brief hug before she stepped away. The touch was

chaste, but Kate could feel Jamie’s desire as clearly as her own.

“I made reservations at La Riviera,” Jamie said, holding her

keys out to Kate. “You’ll be careful?”

Kate snatched the keys out of her hand. “Of course,” she said.

“I’m sure I can drive at least as well as you can.”

She got to the end of her driveway and the GPS voice instructed

her to turn right. Kate flicked it off impatiently. “I know where the

restaurant is,” she said. She kept her speed low at first until she was

comfortable handling the car, but she accelerated rapidly as they

merged onto the freeway.

“It’s a V-8, so you don’t have to push on the gas so hard,”

Jamie observed casually as her own foot audibly pushed against a

nonexistent brake pedal on the passenger side.

Kate waved at the speedometer. “I’m going slower than you

were when we went to Lake Oswego.”

“Yes, but I was driving. That’s different.”

“Oh, there’s a surprise. You have control issues,” Kate said

with a laugh, almost unconsciously letting her hand wander to

Jamie’s thigh where it had itched to go since they’d gotten in the

car. “You’re going to need to get past that.”

Jamie clasped Kate’s hand and then set it on the steering wheel.

“Much as I enjoy having you touch me, I think I’ll feel safer if you

remember the rule about having both hands on the wheel.”

Kate easily maneuvered through the city streets, parallel

parking near the waterfront restaurant. After her old pickup, the

sports car was simple to handle, but Jamie grabbed the keys back

from her as soon as they were out of the car. She put her hand on

Kate’s back as they walked into the restaurant, and Kate felt Jamie’s

fingers slide over the satiny material of her dress as they waited

for the maître d’ to seat them. The thin barrier only heightened the

excitement of Jamie’s touch.

“Ah, Ms. Callahan, good to see you again,” he said smoothly,

his eyes assessing them quickly. “If you and your lovely companion

would follow me please.”

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“You apparently come here often,” Kate murmured in a low

voice once they were seated. They were in a quiet corner of the

restaurant, with a view of the Willamette and Mount Hood, and all

of the staff knew Jamie by name.

“Only on business,” Jamie said, glancing over the wine list.

“We have a company account and entertain a lot of our outoftown

clients here. I’ve never brought a date before.”

Kate kept her eyes on the menu, refusing to be fooled by

Jamie’s easy charm. She had no doubt Jamie wanted her, but Kate

didn’t know if Jamie’s interest in her went deeper than sex. She

refused to be simply a convenient bed partner just because she had

decided to stay in town. “You need to stop calling it that. We’re just

having dinner. I don’t know if I like you enough to date you.”

“Of course you do,” Jamie said with her usual maddening

smile. “You’re just angry with me right now.”

The waiter arrived before Kate could answer, and she suspected

Jamie had somehow timed it that way. They placed their orders and

Jamie asked about Anna’s lesson. Kate chatted about Anna’s progress

and some of the exercises Elaine, a retired nurse, had suggested for

Gwen. She mentioned Alex saying her name, not expecting Jamie to

recognize how significant that had been.

“Wow, he recognized you? That must have felt great,” Jamie

said. “I hope Bev was there so she could hear him.”

Jamie was pouring more wine in their glasses as she spoke, and

she looked up when Kate didn’t answer her. “What’s wrong?”

Kate shrugged and kept her eyes on the window. “I just didn’t

think you’d care about something like that.”

“I know how much it means to you and to his mom and…Oh, I

see,” she said with a nod, finally uncovering Kate’s secret.

“What?”

“That’s what made you snap and decide to stay, isn’t it?” Jamie

nodded again, not needing an answer since Kate’s expression clearly

proved her right. “I knew you had doubts, but I wasn’t sure what

happened to finally push you to make this choice.”

Kate visibly struggled with that for a moment. “How did you

know I had any doubts? I thought I convinced you I wanted this.

Hell, I believed it myself until this week.”

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“At first I wasn’t sure, but I guess I got better at reading you. Or

you were less careful how you acted around me and let your mask

slip sometimes.”

“And you were still prepared to give me the money?”

“Of course,” Jamie said, hesitating as their food was delivered

and then resuming the conversation when the waiter left the table. “I

could see you were willing to give up what you have here to chase

your dream. I knew you would give it your all if you went, even

though I didn’t believe it would make you happy. I made the right

business decision.”

Kate took a bite of her filet mignon. “I see, so you didn’t care

about me enough to—”

“Didn’t care?” Jamie leaned forward and spoke in a low, but

forceful voice. She couldn’t let Kate think it had been easy for her

to leave. Nothing but love would have pulled her out of Kate’s bed

that night. “Didn’t care enough to tell you to give up your dream?

I couldn’t do that to you. If you wanted to go, I had no choice but

to let you. That’s why I left Sunday night, even though I thought it

might kill me.”

Kate put down her fork and leaned toward Jamie. She could

see the other diners’ attention being drawn to the intensity of their

muted conversation, but she didn’t care. “You left because I was just

a fling. Just another in a long line of women who share your bed for

a moment before you run away.”

“No,” Jamie said, reaching over to cover Kate’s hand with her

own. “It was never like that with you. I just didn’t want you to feel

like you had to stay because…”

Now it was Jamie’s turn to look uncomfortable, and Kate tried

to figure out the rest of her sentence. “Because I was falling in love

with you?”

“No,” Jamie said. “Because you felt sorry for me. Wait, what

did you say?”

“I’d sooner feel sorry for a shark in a koi pond,” Kate said,

ignoring Jamie’s question. She pulled her hand away and returned

to her food. She expected Jamie to get up and leave the table since

she had brought up love, but instead she sat there and watched Kate

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with a bemused expression. “Good steak,” Kate said, taking a sip of

her wine.

Jamie winked at her and started eating her own meal. “Yes, I

love their food. Love the wine. And love you, too, by the way.”

Kate stared at her plate, unable to stop her smile as it spread

across her face. She looked up to see Jamie’s answering grin. For

just a moment, Kate considered walking over and climbing into her

lap, not caring how fancy the restaurant. Jamie must have read her

expression because she cleared her throat and took a drink of water.

“Maybe we should talk about something less…um, personal

before we embarrass ourselves,” she suggested. Kate nodded, her

face heating. Jamie reached across the table and grazed her thumb

over Kate’s cheek. “God, I love it when you do that.”

“That sounds personal,” Kate warned, leaning into Jamie’s

touch. The contact was fleeting, but Kate could feel Jamie’s

promises. Sex. Love. A future.

“Believe me,” Jamie said quietly, withdrawing her hand. “Of

all the thoughts on my mind right now, that was the most appropriate

one to say in public.”

❖

Jamie searched her mind for conversation topics that didn’t

involve Kate naked or Kate kissing her. She brought up the trips to

California and Washington she was planning to take with Anna now

that she had signed Brenda Colton’s investment group, only slipping

once or twice when she used the pronoun “we,” as if she assumed

Kate would be going with them. At least the first one was accidental,

but it made Kate flush such a gorgeous shade of red that Jamie had

to try it again.

It seemed to take an interminable amount of time for the waiter

to bring their check, and Jamie even told a couple of work stories

to fill the time, though neither of them seemed interested. She

contemplated sweeping the table clean and lifting Kate onto it, but

the bill finally arrived. She dropped her card on the check before the

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waiter could walk away again. Then she poured the rest of the wine

into Kate’s glass.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Kate asked with suspicion,

clearly aware of the track Jamie’s thoughts had been taking.

“Only enough so you can’t drive my car home,” Jamie said

with a teasing smile.

“Coward,” Kate said, finishing off the wine.

Jamie held Kate’s coat for her when they finally were able to

leave the restaurant. She held the door for Kate, and then the car

door, doing her best to stay close without actually touching her.

Once she did, she wasn’t planning to stop, so she wanted to at least

make it back to Kate’s house first. She had some making up to do.

Jamie left her hand resting on the gearshift on the drive to

Wilsonville. As if understanding her desire to be close, but also

afraid to touch, Kate leaned her elbow on the console so their

forearms were only an inch or so apart. Jamie downshifted in a tight

turn and felt the brush of Kate’s arm travel directly to her groin. She

shifted in her seat and glanced over to see Kate’s smug smile.

“You like making me uncomfortable, don’t you?” Jamie asked,

her eyes returning to the road.

She could see Kate’s shrug out of the corner of her eye. “You

always have so much control, I do enjoy watching it slip now and

then. It’s good for you.”

“I think you’re good for me,” Jamie said. She finally reached

over and captured Kate’s hand, interlacing their fingers and settling

their joined hands on Kate’s lap. “And I might have control issues

in some areas, but if I remember correctly, you’re more than my

match in that department in the bedroom. Not that I’d dare complain

about it.”

“Good, because I know what I want and I’m not going to be

afraid to tell you.”

Jamie caught an undercurrent in Kate’s tone, and she knew this

wasn’t a joking matter to her. “So tell me,” she said softly.

Kate hesitated. “Don’t ever treat me like some onenight stand

you picked up in a bar, like someone who doesn’t matter to you. You

made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, and that’s not acceptable.”

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Jamie felt as if she had been punched in the stomach, but Kate’s

anger was no less than she deserved. And no worse than what she

had said to herself over the past couple of days. She parked next to

Kate’s house and turned off the ignition before facing Kate.

“I’m sorry for what I said when I left on Sunday. None of it was

true, but that doesn’t make it right.” She paused and ran a careless

hand through her hair. “I wanted you to be free to go without feeling

guilty because I told you about my past. If I had thought there was

any chance you loved me, I would have stayed. I’ve been trying to

come up with a way to work things out. Five years isn’t forever.”

Kate sighed and leaned back in the leather seat. “I wanted you

to ask me not to go. I hated you for not asking, but I suppose in a way

I’m glad you didn’t. I had to make this decision on my own.” She

laughed. “Damn. It’s hard to stay mad at you when I have to admit

you did the right thing. You weren’t very nice about it, but still…”

Jamie grinned, glad to be able to put that night behind them

and start over. She liked the word start, she decided. She had spent a

lot of her life ending relationships. Now she had a chance for some

beginnings. With Kate, and with Anna. She leaned over and kissed

the side of Kate’s neck. “Can you stay mad while I’m doing this?”

she asked as she used her teeth to gently tug on a dangling earring.

She ran her tongue over Kate’s ear and smiled at their simultaneous

intake of breath at the contact.

“Why don’t we go inside?” Jamie suggested.

“Not if you’re planning to run away again,” Kate said.

“I can’t stay all night since I need to be home before Anna

wakes up,” Jamie said. “Until I can talk to her about what’s going

on between us, I don’t want to confuse her. But I’m not going to run

away from us.”

“That’s fine,” Kate said with a nod, getting out of the car and

heading to her door. She paused before she let Jamie inside. “But

if you slap me on the rear when you go and say thanks like I’m a

hooker, I swear I’ll kill you.”

“You’re not going to let that go, are you?” Jamie asked with a

shake of her head as they went inside. “You said I was right to leave,

but I’m still in trouble?”

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Worth the risk

“Welcome to a relationship,” Kate said with a grin. “Stop

expecting logic.” She locked her front door and grabbed Jamie’s

lapels, pulling her close so their lips met.

Jamie recovered quickly from the sudden move, and she

pushed Kate against the door and kissed her back forcefully. She

might not be comfortable apologizing with words, but she was

confident her mouth could do a damned good job in other ways.

Her tongue explored Kate’s mouth and neck and shoulders, and the

small sounds Kate made as Jamie licked her were driving her crazy.

Jamie slid her hands up Kate’s thighs, pulling her dress around her

waist, and then hooked her fingers in Kate’s panties. She abruptly

broke their contact, feeling Kate rock toward her before she leaned

back against the door for support. Jamie knelt and slowly removed

Kate’s damp, lacy underwear, letting her mouth resume its leisurely

sampling around Kate’s thighs and hips.

“Maybe we should…oh God…go into the bedroom,” Kate

gasped as Jamie’s fingers insistently parted her thighs. Kate groaned

when Jamie’s mouth moved to her wetness, driving her harder

against the door.

“You want the bedroom?” Jamie asked as she pulled away

briefly, meeting Kate’s eyes.

Kate shook her head no and caught her hands in Jamie’s hair.

“Don’t stop,” she said.

Jamie recognized an order when she heard one, and for once

she didn’t even consider disobeying. She ran her tongue over Kate,

relishing the taste she had thought was lost to her forever, before

taking hold of her clit with teeth and lips. She thought she might

come herself when Kate gave a wordless cry as an orgasm quickly

caught her, her hands pressing Jamie firmly to her hips. She slid

down the door and into Jamie’s arms.

“Hello there,” Jamie said, her arms wrapping around Kate in

support. “You okay?”

“Not bad,” Kate said with a weak laugh. “You?”

“Getting a little uncomfortable,” Jamie admitted. Kate smiled

and kissed her.

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“Let’s go into the bedroom, and I can help with that,” she said.

Jamie stood and pulled Kate along with her.

Their pace slowed once they made it to Kate’s bed. They

stripped, sliding under the covers and meeting in a gentle kiss, as

if their urgency had found release when Kate had. Jamie let Kate

push her onto her back, and her fingers sifted through platinum hair

as Kate softly sucked her breast. Kate’s touch was intimate and

playful, with none of the rushed fervor they had shown at the front

door. Jamie was surprised by the waves of desire that came over her

at such teasing caresses, and she could feel the rest of her control

slipping away.

“Kate,” she whispered, her voice breathless. She had never

asked to be touched but had always avoided it, refused it.

Kate reached her hand up to brush through Jamie’s hair. “Don’t

worry, sweetheart. I won’t…”

“I know,” Jamie interrupted. “But someday. I want you to touch

me tonight, Kate. I want your hands on me.”

Kate propped herself on one elbow and met Jamie’s eyes. “Are

you sure? You know I’d never push…”

“I know,” Jamie said, reassured by Kate’s hesitation. Kate

understood what this meant to her, what a big step it was to simply

lie back and allow someone else to touch her. She lifted a hand and

brushed Kate’s cheek. “Please.”

Kate nodded. She draped her thigh over Jamie’s and lowered

her head. Her kiss was teasing, her lips touching and pulling back

until Jamie was moving restlessly underneath her, wanting more.

Kate placed her palm on Jamie’s breastbone and pressed gently,

finally deepening her kiss.

Jamie opened her mouth and welcomed Kate’s tongue even as

her breath caught. She felt panic rising at the soft pressure on her

chest, and she raised her hand and grasped Kate’s wrist. She was

about to push Kate off, flip her on her back, and take care of the

aching need between her legs in her own way. Kate stopped kissing

her. “No,” Kate said, her voice soft. Jamie heard the order behind

the single word but knew the choice was hers. She looked at Kate

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Worth the risk

for a long moment, fighting against the walls she had erected to keep

herself safe and alone. But this was Kate. Jamie loved her. Trusted

her. Her grip loosened on Kate’s wrist, and then she let go, her arm

dropping to the bed.

Kate buried her face against Jamie’s neck, kissing her rapidly

beating pulse. She slid her hand down Jamie’s torso, and Jamie

gasped in surprise as she felt her own hips rise to meet Kate’s hand.

As Jamie had come to expect, Kate seemed to sense the moment

when she truly surrendered. Kate’s fingers brushed against her clit,

with a touch as teasing and light as her earlier kisses had been. Kate

pressed harder, and Jamie forgot to breathe for a moment, until she

felt the coolness of Kate’s breath on her neck. She exhaled, and then

there was Kate, touching her everywhere, and Jamie couldn’t have

stopped what was happening even if she had wanted to. She thought

she heard a choked sob from Kate, and then her orgasm hit with the

suddenness of being tossed off a cliff. She felt a momentary panic, a

need to hang on, before she let go and fell.

Kate moved her hand to Jamie’s hip and lay close against her

side, giving Jamie time to catch her breath. Jamie felt so strong but

so fragile in her arms. Kate expected Jamie would go now. Make

some excuse about work, or simply say Kate’s touch was more than

she could handle. Kate stayed as still as she could, wanting to put off

Jamie’s departure as long as possible.

“Kate?” Jamie whispered. “Are you holding your breath?”

“A little.”

Kate felt Jamie’s laugh against her hair. “I’m not a wild animal

that will panic and run if you move.”

Kate lifted her head. “Are you sure? I shouldn’t have…it’s too

soon.”Jamie raised her index finger to wipe tears from Kate’s cheek,

and Kate saw Jamie’s hand trembling and the tears that were in

Jamie’s eyes as well. “Not too soon,” Jamie said. “I love you, Kate.

If we’re going to make this work, there can’t be any barriers between

us. We’ll tear them down one at a time.”

“Together,” Kate said. “And I love you, too.” She wrapped

her arms tightly around Jamie’s neck and uncurled her body so she

• 209 •

karis Walsh

could press it against Jamie’s. Jamie shifted without pulling out of

their embrace and pushed Kate onto her back. Her hand slipped

between them and she entered Kate firmly and without preamble.

Kate arched against her and tightened her hold around Jamie’s neck.

The wonder at Jamie’s ability to read how she needed to be touched

only added to Kate’s arousal.

Jamie drew her head back just enough to meet Kate’s gaze, her

fingers slowly stroking through her wetness. “Kate, when you made

love to me, when you touched me, you were the only one there.”

“I’m so glad.” Kate smiled and raised a hand to caress Jamie’s

cheek. Jamie had eased the worry Kate had been afraid to voice,

that Jamie’s memories would always be between them. Her relief

at Jamie’s words rushed through her just before her eyes slid shut

as Jamie’s ever more insistent touch brought her to a shuddering

climax.

Jamie draped her thigh over Kate’s, settling her close as she

pulled the covers over them. She listened as Kate’s breathing grew

deeper and more even before she let her own eyes slip shut. This was

the moment when she would usually tell herself she had five more

minutes to relax and then she would make her escape. The moment

that had always been an ending. Jamie snuggled even closer to the

warmth of Kate—her beginning, her future—and she dropped into

a dreamless sleep.

• 210 •

Worth the risk

Chapter nineteen

Jamie came around the corner of the show stables at Spruce

Meadows, the Calgary site of the Masters Competition, and

stopped to enjoy the view when she saw Kate at the end of the aisle.

Kate had removed her riding jacket and shirt, and she was spraying

the stallion with a hose while wearing a tank top and old sweats over

her breeches. Her blond ponytail was damp and flattened from her

helmet, and Jamie’s breath caught at how sexy this woman could be

even when she was sweaty and dusty from a long day of showing.

She could have stood there and watched Kate for hours, but she

finally made herself move.

Kate glanced at her with a smile and then returned her attention

to the sweat marks on Blaze’s back. “Is it all done?” she asked.

“Yes. They signed the papers and they’ll be taking him home

tonight,” Jamie said, trying to read Kate’s expression. “Are you sure

you’re okay with this?”

“You’ve asked me that every day for a month now,” Kate said.

“And yes, I’m fine with it. I don’t regret my decision at all, and

I’m kind of glad Blaze’ll be moving on so I can concentrate on

expanding the therapy program. But really, you’re done with the

meetings and everything?”

Jamie frowned. “Yes, everything’s official and he’s sold. Why?”

“Just because I hate how you always look so cool and put

together while I’m such a sweaty mess,” Kate said before she arced

• 211 •

karis Walsh

the spray of her hose in Jamie’s direction, soaking her midsection.

“There. Much better.”

“Very juvenile,” Jamie observed, wiping futilely at her wet

slacks. “You know you don’t need a hose to get me wet. But speaking

of small children, where’s Anna?”

“She and Elaine went back to the trade fair to shop. They’re

meeting us for lunch in half an hour.”

The large Canadian show hosted a tent full of vendors who

sold anything even remotely horserelated. Jamie thought Anna had

spent more time there than watching the actual animals. Secretly

Jamie didn’t mind, especially after last night when she and Kate had

sat with Anna on her hotel bed and looked through her new horse

books together. Like a family. “Great, there goes all my profit,” she

muttered as Kate turned off the water and bent to coil the hose. The

stallion took that opportunity to shake like a dog, dousing Kate in

the process as she shrieked and tried to get out of the way.

“I am going to miss that big guy,” Jamie said with a smile. Kate

just rolled her eyes and used a metal sweat scraper to remove some

of the excess water from his shining chestnut coat.

“I don’t know how you managed to arrange this, but I sure

appreciate it. Today was a blast,” Kate said as she worked. Jamie

had used all her powers of persuasion to convince the executives

at Davison and Burke to buy the stallion as planned, but as a

quick turnover investment instead of a longterm PR project. The

venture might not have had the same publicity value as the original

sponsorship would have provided, but it managed to link their

company name with the equestrian world. The young stallion had

sold for a handsome profit after his and Kate’s spectacular fifth-place

finish as an unknown team against top international competition. So

Jamie got a healthy commission, and Kate was well compensated

for her time training and riding the horse, plus Kate was once again

the darling of Davison and Burke. Most important to Jamie, she was

able to give Kate a chance to ride the talented horse at a prestigious

show. Her only worry was that the experience would reveal to Kate

exactly what she had given up and make her secondguess her

decision to stay in Oregon.

• 212 •

Worth the risk

“It’s just my job,” Jamie said with a shrug, although the deal

had required more finesse than she would let on. “See that fence

post over there? I could have it earning its keep by sundown.”

“I have to admit you’re very good at what you do. At everything

you do,” Kate added with a grin as she locked the horse in his stall.

Her voice turned serious again. “I hated to think I was cheating you

out of a commission by changing my mind at the last minute.”

“Believe me, my hourly fee has been paid in full,” Jamie said.

She came up behind Kate and wrapped her arms around her waist,

resting her chin on Kate’s shoulder. The touch, the closeness felt

natural to Jamie now, but she still experienced a sense of wonder

every time she held Kate. “And you couldn’t pay me enough to

make me give up these past few weeks with you.”

Kate leaned against her. “And this is just the beginning…” she

said, her head tilting back as Jamie kissed her way along Kate’s

neck. “Because I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jamie said, turning Kate in her arms and

lowering her head until their lips were just a breath apart. “And I

don’t intend to stop.”

• 213 •

About the Author

Karis Walsh is a horseback riding instructor who lives on a small

farm in the Pacific Northwest. When she isn’t teaching or writing,

she enjoys spending time outside with her animals, reading, playing

the viola, and riding with friends.

Books Available from Bold Strokes Books

Worth the Risk by Karis Walsh. Investment analyst Jamie Callahan

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Table of Contents

Chapter one

Chapter tWo

Chapter three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter six

Chapter seven

Chapter eight

Chapter nine

Chapter ten

Chapter eleven

Chapter tWelve

Chapter thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter FiFteen

Chapter sixteen

Chapter seventeen

Chapter eighteen

Chapter nineteen