Anna and Lily Stories

Shaken
Stirred
Strained
Anna’s Christmas

Shaken

PART 1

THE DARK-HAIRED DRIVER of the black 745i puzzled over the words "rush hour." Nobody was rushing, and here in LA, this traffic lasted all day and half the night! Occasionally, the congestion broke up and all five lanes took off like the thoroughbreds at Hollywood Park. A half-mile later, the mass would slam on its collective brake and come to a standstill.

The snarled freeway, as germane to southern California as its poverty and pretense, caused Anna Kaklis Rutherford to dread the regular trips from her Bel Air home to the downtown convention center. But as the new treasurer of the Greater Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce, her presence was a must at their monthly breakfast meetings.

This morning’s meeting had featured a compelling presentation on community organizations involved with the area’s "at-risk" youth. It was, of course, a thinly-veiled plea for businesses to support charities and causes that carried less prestige and opportunity for notoriety than those already in the public eye. The accompanying video had shown children and teenagers in a variety of settings, in classrooms, on sports fields, in hospitals, and even in their own homes. Many of those depicted were minorities or disabled, and all were being guided by caring adults.

For more than 40 years, Premier Motors of Beverly Hills, southern California’s top BMW dealer, had lent its support to LA’s thriving symphony, its opera, three of its theaters, and no less than a half-dozen art museums. The company was a major underwriter for an afternoon business update that aired on the local public radio station. "After all," Anna’s father had reasoned, "those are the people who buy luxury cars." Anna, who at 31 served as vice president of the family’s dealership, agreed that supporting the arts was good business, the best advertising their money could buy.

But the car dealer had been moved by today’s program, especially by the teenaged girl who told a personal tale of how one organization had helped her overcome an abusive home, poor school performance, and a flirtation with drugs and alcohol to become a college-bound senior with hopes and dreams of one day being a leader in this very business organization. Despite losing her mother at an early age, Anna felt truly blessed by the hand dealt her, and she vowed today that she would do something to help LA’s disadvantaged children and youth.

A blaring horn snapped her out of her reverie, and she hurriedly accelerated to close the 30-foot gap between herself and the red Honda Civic with the "Bush Cheated" bumper sticker. It wouldn’t do to leave enough room for another car to squeeze in – that might create good will in the world!, she thought to herself, rolling her eyes. Spotting the ramp for Endicott Avenue, she slowly picked her way to the exit lane. Endicott eventually dumped into Santa Monica Boulevard, and stoplights and surface streets were preferable to this creeping, growling mass of motorized inhumanity.

This morning’s look at the struggles of troubled youth had ironically been a respite from the thoughts that had consumed the dark-haired woman like a cloud for the past three months… no, make that 15 months, two months before she had married Scott Rutherford. Focusing on the plight of others was an effective ploy for getting her mind off her own problems, and Anna was determined to milk this morning’s presentation for all it was worth. But the silver Z3 that stopped in the lane to her left brought that cloud back to bear on her consciousness. There was nothing special about the driver, a red-haired woman of about 20, gesturing animatedly as she talked on her cell phone. It was the car itself, the James Bond roadster, that started the depressive spiral. Her husband drove a Z3.

As days go, today was a bad one, even by Lily’s standards.

She had started her day in the family courtroom at the Los Angeles County Courthouse with her client, Maria Esperanza. They were squaring off against ex-husband Miguel for primary custody of the couple’s two children.

She’d called Maria the day before, reminding her of what to wear to court and what to tell the judge about her ex-husband’s volatile behavior. "Whatever you do, don’t get angry," she had advised Maria. "We want the judge to know that you want custody of your children because you’re afraid of what Miguel might do, not because you’re angry about what he’s already done."

As Lily looked back with her near-perfect hindsight, Maria had seemed quite surprised by the call. "I had marked tomorrow on my calendar," her client had said. For a fleeting moment, the attorney too had recalled a Friday court date, thinking that she would have used today to go over next week’s filings and four scheduled court appearances. Nonetheless, Maria hurriedly agreed to be ready, and Lily had stayed late yesterday to prep her case.

Unfortunately, the case file that Pauline, the clinic’s newly-hired secretary, should have pulled was that of Maria Espinosa, Lauren Miller’s client, whose final divorce hearing was to have been today. It all came to light when Maria Esperanza looked across the aisle at Mr. Espinosa and asked her attorney simply "Who is that man and why does he want custody of my children?"

Begging opposing counsel’s forgiveness - they would tangle many times, so it was always a good idea for either side to be owed a favor - she threw herself upon the mercy of the court and Judge Evans fined her only $200. She forked over a personal check, and offered to drive her testy client home.

Once in the hallway, she’d called Lauren to give her the bad news – Judge Evans was fining her $200 too for not having her client in court this morning. Lily held the phone from her ear as Lauren spewed forth a stream of curses that would have had a New Yorker looking at his shoes. "I’m going straight to Tony about this," she shrieked, her reference to the firm’s administrative partner. "Jesus H. Christ on a Raft! All we get at this salary are Murphy Brown rejects!"

Lily chuckled inwardly. Often the chief peacemaker in their office, she finally replied, "Lauren, it’s partly my fault, too. It’s hard to keep all of these names straight and I didn’t check it out before calling the client."

Climbing into one of the first RAV4’s to come off Toyota’s assembly line, Lily gathered up the pile of folders and law books on the front seat, making room for her passenger. "There you go. Sorry about that." She tried to make nice with Maria - they had to go through this again tomorrow. The day was usually warm for February, and without a working air conditioner, Lily thought it best to remove her suit jacket and fold it over the back seat. Sweat might be sexy, but it’s hell on silk.

Maria had finally seemed to accept Lily’s profuse apologies, and it looked like they would have a peaceful ride to Culver City, where Maria was staying with her sister and brother-in-law until she got the custody of her children resolved. Rather than subject herself to yet another briefing on what tomorrow would bring, Maria opted instead to call the sister she would see in only a matter of minutes. Had Maria known that Lily had a pretty good working knowledge of Spanish, she probably would not have said anything to her sister about the "abogados tontos". Idiot lawyers. As she merged onto the crawling Santa Monica freeway, Lily decided to take her thoughts elsewhere.

*  *  *

Now racing from one stoplight to the next, Anna checked the digital clock on her instrument gauge. 11:40. Today’s meeting had lasted until ten, then the officers met in closed session to discuss the new membership drive. Passing her hand over the infrared eye on the doorframe produced a dial tone. "Premier Motors," she stated succinctly. A few moments later, her call was answered with the same two words. "Carmen, would you let Dad know that things ran late this morning? I’ll be in the office in about an hour." Thanking the receptionist, she started looking for a bookstore along Endicott.

Three months ago, Anna’s well-planned life was flung into doubt. Could she salvage her marriage? Could things ever be the same? Not yet ready to talk about this with her family - not even with her stepsister Kim, who was her closest friend - she had called her longtime friend and roommate at Cal Poly, Liz Patterson. Liz lived now with her husband and daughter in San Mateo. Anna recounted most of the tale, purposefully leaving out the details of the doubts she had harbored about her marriage even before the wedding. Strong and confident in most aspects of her life, especially in business, Anna had somehow always struggled with relationships and was particularly lost in this current dilemma. The situation left her feeling hurt but also angry that she didn’t have complete control.

Liz had listened with love and concern, but was unwilling to guide her friend to a decision she could not reach on her own. She asked all the right questions to prompt Anna to explore her options, and finally recommended a book she had seen reviewed in the New York Times.

The distraction of the morning presentation now forgotten, Anna recalled her friend’s suggestion. Playing by Ear was a rising best-seller about a woman who had left her job and boyfriend to pursue her bliss as a concert cellist. Though she lived now from hand to mouth, the cellist had found her fulfillment in her lifelong dream. Anna wasn’t looking to change careers. On the contrary, she loved selling cars. But she needed to find the nerve to make at least a change in her own personal life.

*  *  *

As long as she could remember, 29-year-old Lily Stuart had wanted to practice law. "They help people be happy" was the reason she gave as a young girl when teachers had asked her why. Katharine Fortier had certainly helped Lily and her mom find happiness, by seeing to it that they stayed together.

Lily’s birth certificate listed no father. Her birth mother, Lisa Parker, was little more than a child herself when Lily was born, far too immature to care for the demands of a baby. Rather, she left Lily unattended for long hours while she saw to her own social needs. On those occasions when Lily was actually taken along, it was often to places children shouldn’t visit, such as bars, pool halls, and parties with alcohol and drugs. Social services stepped in twice to remove the child from her mother’s care, once when Lisa was arrested for shoplifting, a second time when 2-year-old Lily was left unattended in a car for over an hour. Each time, Lily was returned after short stints in foster care.

On the third occasion, when Lisa faced certain jail time for assaulting a woman and stealing her car, social services began processing the papers to sever parental rights. Since Lisa’s mother had a record of her own, Lily was adjudicated dependent and placed up for adoption at four years old.

In the next two years, the little blonde lived in seven foster homes and attended four different elementary schools in kindergarten and first grade. She was uninterested in school, and very much a behavior problem. She rarely completed her work, and was constantly getting into fights with classmates who teased her about not having any real parents. Lily was small for her age, but she usually held her own in these playground tussles.

Something about this errant child tugged at the heartstrings of her first grade teacher, Eleanor Stuart, who began spending more time with Lily in the classroom. She stuck close at recess to protect the little girl from the other children’s cruel taunting. Eleanor saw past the tough exterior Lily tried so hard to create and knew that under this façade was a passionate, creative, and kind-hearted little girl. Suddenly, Lily’s interest in school soared as she tried desperately to please the only adult who had ever seemed to care about her. Her foster parents, the Tomlinsons, reported to social services that she seemed to be adjusting finally, and all were hopeful that this would improve Lily’s chances of being adopted.

Toward the end of that school year, social services requested her school records yet again, because the Tomlinsons had agreed to take in two brothers, and they would no longer have room for Lily in their small home. When the little girl learned that she would be changing both her home and school, she became hysterical. She had been content staying with the Tomlinsons, but where she lived was unimportant. What mattered was that she stay close to Miss Stuart. She was devastated.

So too was Eleanor, and she immediately contacted her friend Katharine, an attorney who specialized in family law. Katharine was one of the nicest women you’d ever want to meet… and she ate nails for breakfast. With Katharine’s help, Eleanor was granted interim custody of Lily. Four months later, as Lily entered second grade, Eleanor began adoption proceedings.

In late October of that year, a paroled Lisa Parker informed the court that she had had a change of heart. Out of prison only three months and already pregnant with her second child, she knew she’d need seven-year-old Lily’s help to keep an eye on the baby, lest she find herself back in trouble with the authorities. Of course, the story she offered the judge included none of those plans. Instead, she spoke tearfully of how heartbroken she was at the loss of her child, and how she thought of nothing more for the past two years than how she would make up for her past by doing right by her daughter.

Fortunately, Eleanor and Lily had Katharine Fortier in their corner again, and she was a bulldog in court. By the time she was finished with Lisa and her false promises, the miscreant was lucky not to be going back to jail for perjury. On November 15th of that year, Lilian Lisa Parker became simply Lilian Stuart.

Katharine remained close to the family, and it was she who suggested to Lily at age 17 that she study law at UCLA. Not that Lily needed any encouragement. On that day long ago when the three of them had walked triumphantly from the courthouse, Lily had vowed to be just like Katharine someday. It was Katharine who prepped her for the LSAT, who wrote her recommendation for law school, and who finally pushed her through the bar exam.

When she accepted the job at the Braxton Street Family Law Clinic, she was proud to tell her mentor that she had been her inspiration. "Don’t do this for me, Lily," Katharine had said humbly. "Do it for the Eleanors and Lilys who will need you."

Eleanor and Lily were crushed two years ago when Katharine’s sightseeing plane crashed in Alaska, leaving no survivors.

Clutching the steering wheel of the RAV4 a little tighter, Lily fought back the emotions that memory always brought to surface. Even though the attractive young attorney now possessed an optimism which seemed to belie her rough start in life, it was this part of her life which had given her empathy for others. She pursed her lips a bit and sneaked a sidelong glance at her passenger. Maria Esperanza probably doesn’t know it, but she’s an Eleanor who needs me, Lily resolved, as they pulled up in front of the small stucco home. With an "adios" Maria dropped her phone into her handbag. She actually said ‘goodbye’ to her sister and she’ll see her in about 10 seconds! Mentally rolling her eyes, Lily neatly executed a tight U-turn, and headed back to her office.

*  *  *

Anna had reached an important decision. She wasn’t going to languish in this mess another day, just waiting to see what life would hand her next. She was going to take control, make the decisions that had to be made, and live with the consequences.

There was no easy answer. Anna knew that she and Scott would both have to work hard for their marriage to survive. Do I even want it to survive? She also knew that admitting the failure of her marriage and walking away would be humiliating and a disappointment to her family, especially her father. Can I do that?

It had been easy in some ways to retreat emotionally and act on the outside as though nothing were wrong. She went to work early, and stayed late most nights. She avoided spending time with friends, even her sister Kim. And it was so uncomfortable being at home with Scott. But she couldn’t keep this up. People had begun to comment on her weight loss and tired features. In truth, though she masked her emotional turmoil from her friends and family fairly successfully, it wasn’t hard for them to notice the physical changes. Anna was usually confident and upbeat, and her strikingly beautiful features were noticed by everyone, except perhaps by Anna herself.

What Anna realized she missed most over these past three months, even more than personal happiness in her marriage, was her confidence. She had quietly stepped back from the world, allowing things to proceed as she watched from the outside. Today, Anna resolved to come out of the safe corner she had willingly backed into.

Turning on her blinker, the dark-haired woman pulled into the parking garage of the Endicott Mall. She had decided that today would be the day she would begin dealing with this mess. Getting her hands on Playing by Ear was the first step.

Finding a space easily on the ground level, she pulled her long slender frame from her car and straightened her shoulders, as if physically demonstrating the resolve she now felt. She tapped her keychain to set her car alarm, and turned toward the breezeway leading into the stores. Out of nowhere, a battered RAV4 careened around the corner, and continued its rapid climb to the second floor. "Crazy driver," Anna muttered as she rolled her eyes.

*  *  *

At precisely 11:40, Lily’s phone vibrated to announce a new text message, calling her to a one p.m. arraignment for another client’s abusive boyfriend. These little gadgets sure were handy in court, but the attorney missed the good old days when she actually got to speak to people.

She just had time to pick up lunch at In-and-Out Burger on Endicott Avenue, and to stop by her office to gather the files she would need. Lily placed her order and proceeded to wait for what felt like an hour while the single man in the car in front of her retrieved seven bags of food. He’s obviously picking up lunch for the entire office. Why isn’t there a ‘two bag or less’ rule for the drive-thru? Lily sighed and pulled up next to the small window.

"$4.36, please," the woman in the window barked. Lily handed her a five dollar bill and watched in fascination as the woman stretched one arm across the small compartment to top off Lily’s Diet Coke and with her other hand punched hurriedly at the cash register.

"Sixty-four cents is your change." Lily quickly put out her hand to catch the change but was a second too late as the rushed and oblivious employee opened her palm and deposited the money onto the ground. As Lily cracked her door open and leaned out to rescue at least the quarters from the pavement, the other woman stretched her arm out of her window with the Coke, bumping Lily’s right shoulder with the beverage. As usual, the plastic lid on the cup was not secured. Oops, and that blouse was pure imported silk, the nicest one she owned. Lily had never understood the appeal of Coca-Cola clothes.

A right turn out of the drive-thru and four quickly-crossed lanes later, she turned into the Endicott Mall. Pealing around the corner to the second floor of the parking garage, the frenzied blonde barely missed a tall, beautiful woman with long dark hair exiting her fancy BMW. "Careful, gorgeous," she muttered.

Squeezing her mini-SUV into a narrow No Parking walkway by the elevator, Lily phoned Pauline to have a runner deliver the needed files to the courthouse. This time, she spelled her client’s name, just to make sure there were no mistakes. Grabbing her wallet and jacket, and shoving her briefcase under the seat, she set out to find a cream-colored top to match her olive green suit. Thank goodness I had taken off the jacket – otherwise, I’d be looking for a suit too! Little victories were important on a day like today.

*  *  *

Entering the nearly deserted mall, Anna looked about for a bookstore. She scanned the directory at the entrance to the main concourse. "Come on, come on. Every mall has a bookstore," she pleaded with the silent sign. There! Binders Books on the lower level.

It was now a few minutes past the noon hour, and the only other person in the store was Skye, a friendly young clerk with orange hair and multiple piercings. Ah, youth!, Anna thought enviously. "I’m looking for Playing by Ear. Do you have it?" she inquired.

The girl looked up from a copy of Rolling Stone, quickly swallowed a bite of what appeared to Anna to be a peanut butter and banana sandwich, and swiped the back of her hand across her mouth. "Sure, I’ll show you where it is," Skye answered with a half-grin as she laid her sandwich on the opened magazine.

"No, go ahead with your lunch. I’m sure you don’t get many breaks. Just point in the general direction and I’ll find it." From her perch at the register by the shop entrance, Skye directed the dark-haired woman to the Bestsellers shelf located along the left wall.

A few moments later, Skye once again looked up from the magazine. "Are you sure I can’t help you find what you need? Those are all mysteries," she called, noticing that her customer had wandered from the left side to the very back of the store.

"Yes, I know. Actually, I’ve already found what I need. Now I’m looking for what I want."

Anna loved a good action or mystery book. Her eyes immediately fell on the cover of Case of the Orphaned Bassoonists: A Cassandra Reilly Mystery. Though she hadn’t played in years, the bassoon might have been Anna’s first love. Unlike other bassoonists, she didn’t "start" on another instrument and "work up to" the skill required to play the strange instrument. She just picked it up instinctively. A mystery and bassoons… cool!, she thought. She flipped open the front cover and skimmed the reviews.

*  *  *

The very slow elevator emptied Lily onto the mall’s main concourse. She scanned the directory and located the Casual Corner, a women’s apparel store, on the lower level at the far end of the building. She could not possibly have been further from the store than where she currently stood. Naturally.

Lily headed for the escalator and got her bearings for a hasty retreat once she found what she needed. She charged past Fredrick’s of Hollywood--Wow! Check out that slinky red number! - Lawson’s Jewelry, Rack Room Shoes, Peggy’s Bridal Shop, Binders Books, Foot Locker, and finally entered the Casual Corner.

An online and catalog shopper, Lily rarely set foot in a mall. Though she usually only hated shopping, she absolutely despised it when she needed something in particular and was short on time. Not believing her luck, there was a rack near the door holding the perfect style blouse in a variety of colors, and on sale! But there was none of any color in her size. "Naturally."

Her size was available however among a new shipment in a slightly different style, and at a much higher price. Out of options, she handed over her debit card and dashed to the fitting room to change. A good yank on the stuck louvered door caught her knee with a sharp crack, and a splinter in the wood neatly pierced her hose. "How could this day get any worse?" she asked the ceiling of the small room… rhetorically.

*  *  *

Art Hanson scribbled a few additional comments into his small notebook. He had just finished an interview with tenants at Casa Del Sol, an apartment building on the edge of Culver City. The story was a public interest piece about the dangerous health risks related to the level of lead in miniblinds. God, how can I make this story not put people to sleep?, he mused.

"Hey, Janie! Watch the potholes, will you? I just want to get a few more comments down," he said to the driver of the white and blue News 26 van.

"Mr. Hanson, we’re at a stoplight!"

The van began to violently shake and suddenly lurched forward. Both passengers were pushed hard against their seatbelts. Art’s coffee toppled out of the holder and splashed onto the dashboard. Camera equipment and video from the back of the van broke their bindings and crashed to the floor. The van continued to tremble and shudder and it seemed to the pair that some unknown force had picked up the back end of the van, thrusting their end vertically downward at a nearly 45 degree angle.

Forty-six seconds later, the news team found themselves still suspended by their seatbelts, though the shaking had stopped.

"Shit! That was a big fucking quake!" Jane excitedly shouted to the reporter. Art knew that a bigger story than leaded miniblinds had just broken, and was already radioing back to the station.

"This is Hanson in van 4. Janie and I are at Endicott and Spruce in Culver City and there was just an earthquake here. Hang on…I’m going to check and see if there’s anything big here to report… the van feels like we’re sitting on a cliff…" Art put his phone in his shirt pocket momentarily and carefully extricated himself from the seatbelt, pushing against the dashboard for balance. He carefully opened the passenger side door of the van and hopped down.

"Oh my God! That must have been a pretty big one, Dennis," he commented anxiously into the phone to the station manager. Looking around, he continued, "The road looks like someone was kicking it from underneath. The stoplight is lying on the street in front of us. There aren’t a lot of people around… just one other car and the driver looks fine." Looking off to his left, Art audibly gasped and his voice was grave as he said, "Holy shit, Dennis. The north end of the Endicott Mall looks like it was bulldozed. Janie – get the camera! Dennis, I’ll call you back when we get closer to the mall and have good position."

The reporter slipped the phone into his pocket and looked across what had been the west parking garage of the mall. Cars and concrete were sandwiched together and one entire side of the garage had completely toppled. The pair had been traveling on Spruce Street, which ran along the west side of the mall. The north end of the mall was actually built into the side of a hill, so people parking in this garage on the west side entered the mall on the top floor. What made Art’s stomach flip over was this realization that the mall was supposed to be two stories. The north end had completely collapsed.

The inevitable sound of police sirens and emergency vehicles were already invading the eerily silent landscape.

PART 2

N INE MILES FROM the Endicott Mall in his second floor office, Scott Rutherford eyed his senior marketing student. The young man had shown a great deal of ingenuity in his earlier work, but Scott was very disappointed with the latest assignment. "Your plan was quick and dirty, just like too many product launches in the real world," he scowled. "Remember Mr. Caldwell, your marketing budget includes research and development. In your project, you designed a product launch without putting your product in front of potential customers. If you guess wrong, you waste a quarter of a million dollars."

Justin Caldwell looked first at his professor, then at the floor. "Dr. Rutherford, I can do better. I’d appreciate the chance to rework this, and resubmit it," he pleaded hopefully.

After a few moments of contemplation, the professor answered. "Mr. Caldwell, what’s important here is that you learn to do this correctly. But if I agree to evaluate your project a second time, I want to be assured that it’s your best effort." Seeing the relief on the young man’s face, Scott continued, "You should review Chapter Four of Paddock’s book. It deals with..."

As he reached to retrieve Paddock’s book from the shelf above, the professor lost his footing on the shaking floor and fell across his desk as though struck by an unseen force. At the same moment, Paddock’s book and dozens of others crashed to the floor as the windows rattled and burst. Practicing what he had learned in his youth, Justin jumped back to brace himself in the doorway as fiberglass panels shook free from the ceiling.

Nearly a minute passed before the tremors stopped. The student, now pale and wide-eyed, stepped forward to help his teacher stand. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yeah, thanks," Scott murmured. He stood up from the desk and looked around at the total disarray in his office.

"That was some powerful shake!" Justin said queasily. "We must have been right at the epicenter."

Looking out the open window across the LA basin, Scott replied "Well, if we weren’t, God help the people who were."

His first thoughts were of the safety of his young son. If they were at home, they should be safe, since they lived near the water. Guiltily, he thought next of his wife.

*  *  *

Skye remembered the floor shaking and shuddering, books falling and the shelves being wrested from their bolts and crashing to the floor. A mighty jolt had thrown her from her stool across the counter and after another thrust, the lights in the store flickered twice and went dark. The clerk had scrambled for the entrance, where the last of the natural light poured in from the atrium, forgetting the dark-haired woman at the back of the store. No sooner had she reached the lower concourse than it lurched skyward, hurling her across a rippling plane. Heavy plastic panels floated from the skylight, and she had scurried for the cover of an overturned candy kiosk.

Now, the earth was finally still. Gradually, moans, shouts and a baby cry began to fill the air, and Skye struggled for her footing. She turned instinctively toward her shop, confused and disoriented. Where Binders had once stood, computers and electronic gadgets were strewn about and smashed. Radio Shack had been located directly above the bookstore.

Skye crawled to her feet and began to climb across the piles of debris toward the south end of the mall.

*  *  *

"Annnnhhh!" the woman grunted, struggling against the bookcase that pinned her firmly to the floor. Only minutes before, Anna had been reading the book jacket for The Case of the Orphaned Bassoonists when a deep rumbling suddenly consumed the moment. In a matter of seconds, the floor had simply fallen away, and she was enveloped in blackness.

Breathing heavily, the tall woman regrouped for another push. "Unnnnnhhhhhh!" she groaned again, moving the bookcase only an inch or two from her chest. With every effort, more of the books that were somehow bracing the heavy bookcase fell away, leaving her left knee to bear even greater weight under a lower shelf. Her twisting and pulling had only exacerbated her predicament, and now her knee was throbbing and firmly trapped in a vise.

"Help! Somebody!" Anna heard no one. Where is everyone? Where am I? "In deep trouble," she answered herself aloud.

*  *  *

The worst part was that it was completely dark.

No, scratch that. The worst part was the throbbing of her head right above her eye. Rolling onto her side, Lily traced with her forefinger the rim of the wide gash responsible for the sticky mess on the left side of her face. Remembering her earlier lament to the proverbial heavens, Lily muttered, "I was only frustrated… it wasn’t intended to be a challenge!" But, she had received her answer to the rhetorical question when the floor beneath her began to shake. Lily had reached to brace herself in the doorway, and was suddenly flung head first into the angled mirrors on two walls of the fitting room. The accompanying boom was deafening, and was followed by grinding and popping, as the drywall crumbled all around into dust and ragged shards and the newly exposed metal supports twisted and bent. A second jolt had rippled the floor and plunged the small space into darkness.

As she had felt the ground give way underneath, her last conscious thought was that the sales clerk had probably already run her debit card, and without moving money from her savings account, her check to Judge Evans was going to bounce.

Lily had no idea how much time had passed while she lay unconscious in the fitting room. She now groped around on the floor hoping to find the top she had intended to purchase earlier. Grasping the cloth from underneath her, the young woman held it to her wound and pressed hard to stop the bleeding. She pulled herself up to a sitting position and reached out to get her bearings. Glass was everywhere. The mirrors, she figured. The floor - if it was still the floor - was uneven, and the wall to her right now leaned above her. She knew it was the mirrored wall, as she felt a few of the jagged fragments still attached. Behind her, the place she remembered as the back of the store was a concrete block wall. "Where the hell did that come from?" she asked aloud, not expecting but half hoping to hear a reply. It seemed to Lily that she was still in the fitting room, such as it was. To her left was a wall and she recognized in front of her the splintered texture of the wood from the louvered door. That meant the entrance to the store was past the door and straight ahead.

Where was the light? Hadn’t there been an atrium in the center of the mall? She knew she been knocked out for a few minutes, but surely it wasn’t evening already.

"Is anybody in here?" Silence.

Louder this time, "Hello! Anybody!" Lily strained to hear another sound. Nothing.

Slowly, she tried to stand. The uneven floor and the low ceiling made it difficult to navigate the darkness, but she picked her way along the edge of the hallway and emerged into what she supposed was the main store. Again, she called out "Anyone here?"

As she continued in the direction of the entrance, the floor became steeper, sloping forward. Racks of clothes had gathered where the floor had buckled, and she lost her balance as her feet tangled in the cloth and metal. The smell of fresh dirt was vaguely present, and Lily realized that the ground had literally broken through the bottom of the store. She knew from 29 years of living in California that she had been near the epicenter of a very significant earthquake. She was indeed lucky to be alive.

Reaching forward, her hand came to rest against a wall of earth. The mall had collapsed, she realized, wondering what had become of all the people who been inside. Was she the only one still inside? Or were the others… With alarm, Lily acknowledged the truth: The worst part was that she was trapped.

*  *  *

Art Hanson shed his jacket and rolled up his shirtsleeves. "How much time?" he asked into the air. He nodded as the answer crackled back into the discreetly placed earpiece. "I’ll do the background, then we can pull in the eyewitness. I’ll track down the scene manager for a follow-up," he stated, the latter referring to the area’s emergency services coordinator, who had arrived on the scene a few moments ago, sirens screaming. Loosening his tie, the reporter mussed his hair to give the appearance that he, too, had been working frantically to free those trapped in the fallen building behind him.

Getting his cue, Hanson - born Randall Lyzcienski - began his report. "Julie, at 12:04 p.m. today, a massive earthquake shook the Los Angeles basin. We’re live on the scene at the Endicott Mall here in Culver City. Preliminary indications are that the mall has suffered major damage, and that the second floor may have collapsed onto the lower level in the north wing."

The camera panned the broken structure, zooming in on the north wing with its crumbled exterior and uneven roofline. "I have here with me Skye Steinberg, a clerk at Binders Books on the lower level. Skye, what can you tell us about what happened?"

"It was awful!" the clerk blurted. "Everything shook and the ceiling started to fall. I was near the door when the shaking started, and I was knocked out into the center of the mall. Glass was falling, people were screaming. I was so scared!" The young girl’s forehead furrowed and her eyes became wide as she recalled the images. "When I turned around, the Radio Shack, the store that was right over us, had fallen to where the bookstore used to be."

The reporter lowered his voice somberly, and followed, "Did you see other people in there? Did everyone get out?"

"It wasn’t crowded today." Skye’s lip began to quiver as she remembered the kind woman in her store. "But there was one customer in the back of the bookstore. She was tall and beautiful and she had long black hair." Tears welled up and threatened to fall.

"Do you know what happened to her?" the reporter prodded. They were live on the air!

"I didn’t see her again. I… I don’t know… I don’t think she made it." Skye raised her hand to cover her eyes and started to sob.

Hanson signaled Jane to linger a few more moments on the crying woman, then cleared his throat softly and said "I’m Art Hanson for News 26, and we’ll have more later from the Endicott Mall."

*  *  *

Anna was exhausted. She had tried in vain to pull herself from her prison. The shelf now rested firmly on her left leg, its sharp edge digging into the soft tissue around her knee. Her toes had begun to tingle, and she feared that she would soon lose feeling in her lower leg.

The woman’s repeated cries for help had gone unanswered and she knew with a certainty that she was alone. She wondered what had happened to the orange-haired clerk and then shuddered as she acknowledged the likely truth. It’s too soon to panic, she calmed herself. She’d read that a person could survive for several days without food or water, so as long as she had enough air to breathe, the rescuers would probably find her. If they know I’m here, she allowed the thought to creep into her consciousness.

"Help! Help! Somebody! I’m in here!" She yelled until she was hoarse.

"Well, this would certainly solve all of my problems, and all of Scott’s too," she sighed. "Worse things could happen." Trapped, and for the moment out of options, Anna closed her eyes and succumbed to the fatigue she felt.

*  *  *

This wasn’t Lily’s first experience at being trapped in a dark space. Time had a merciful way of stealing memories from her early childhood, but one she clearly remembered was being locked in a dark closet on several occasions when her mother went out. To this day, Lily slept with a nightlight.

Fighting back the urge to kick at the walls and scream, Lily gathered herself for what she knew would be her strongest test. I’m going to get out here if I have to bore through the floor and dig a tunnel.

She couldn’t reach the atrium here, so she decided to try to reach it from the adjacent store. Where the floor had fallen, she expected a gap between the wall and the partially collapsed ceiling, or between the wall and the floor. She would crawl or climb, whatever it took.

As she began feeling along the dirt wall to guide her towards the next store, the young woman unknowingly passed within inches of the clerk who had taken her debit card. The total darkness spared Lily the image of her crushed and broken body, and her wide, lifeless eyes.

*  *  *

"We’re back here on the scene at the Endicott Mall with emergency services coordinator Philip Bertram. Mr. Bertram, what’s the situation here?" Art Hanson asked.

"Well," the official began, "we can confirm that part of the second level on the north wing has collapsed onto the lower level. There are about six or seven stores that are affected, and right now, we don’t know how many people were in those stores at the time of the quake."

"Do you have casualties?" Hanson asked eagerly.

"Yes, we do," Bertram replied grimly. "There were over 200 people who were injured, some seriously. We’ve sent about 75 to area hospitals."

"Are there still people inside the mall, or have you gotten everyone out?"

"Our crews have been inside the main areas that we’re able to reach to clear out the survivors. We haven’t started our sweep yet, but we’re talking with people who were in the mall at the time to help us determine how many people might be missing. It’s pretty dangerous to be in there right now, but we’re going to do all we can with some of listening equipment that we have. With a quake of this magnitude, we’re expecting some pretty significant aftershocks. "

"Are there fatalities?" Hanson prodded.

"We have four confirmed fatalities." Bertram paused. "We expect many more."

*  *  *

Two hours and 40 minutes later, Lily had finally found a small opening at the top of the wall and squeezed into what seemed to be a Foot Locker. Athletic shoes, even new ones, had a distinct odor.

If the floor in this new store was even with that of the store she had just left, Lily expected about a seven-foot drop on the other side. Hanging by her fingers, she stretched her toes down to the floor. In truth, she knew that she was still a long way from getting out of this tomb, but even the small progress was exhilarating.

"This would be a good time to change into sensible shoes," she joked aloud. She had lost her own pumps in the fitting room. "My luck, I’d find shoes that fit perfectly, and when I finally crawled out of here with all of America watching my miraculous escape, I’d be wearing two different colors. Mom would be mortified. I can see her now. ‘No, that’s not my daughter!’" She laughed at the image. "Earthquake survivor arrested for shoplifting. Details at eleven."

Lily rested a moment when she reached a pile of what seemed like sweat suits and t-shirts. She was exhausted, but she knew she needed to keep moving. It was a roll of the dice whether the aftershocks would free her or bury her deeper.

*  *  *

Anna became vaguely aware of someone talking… laughing even. "Hello! Help! Is somebody there?" She was hoarse, and knew her voice wasn’t carrying very far. Her left knee was throbbing, and every small movement was met with excruciating pains. She strained to hear a sound, but all was quiet.

*  *  *

Lily groped around the perimeter at the front of the store, finding nothing but earth from the floor to where the ceiling had fallen, a space only four feet high. Crawling along the far wall, she found no gaps between the floor and the wall. Her only hope was that there would be an opening between the wall and the ceiling.

Most likely, the opening would be at the apex of the spot where the floor had fallen so sharply, just as it had been on the opposite wall where she had crawled from the clothing store. To reach the spot, Lily dragged what she imagined was one of those cone-shaped shoe displays to the far wall. It was lightweight, but sturdy, and it had nice little footholds where the shoes usually sat.

Sure enough, the small woman found an opening at the top, but it was going to take all her strength to pull herself up that high. Those hours on the weight machines are going to pay off after all. The wall had cracked neatly in two where the earth below the store had jutted through. The opening Lily managed to find was a small triangle made by the uneven portions of the wall and the straining ceiling. On her third attempt, she managed to get her head and shoulders through the hole. "Finally!" she shouted triumphantly. Pulling herself through, Lily tumbled to the floor in a heap. "Shit!" she said as she clutched her shoulder, which bore the brunt of her fall.

"Please, help me," a woman’s weak voice called.

*  *  *

Seven hours and 13 minutes after the initial quake, the first aftershock began to rattle the darkened chamber. The shift had caused the shelf to grind against Anna’s knee, and she passed out from the excruciating pain.

PART 3

D OWNTOWN LA HAD been spared the brunt of the quake, but power was out over much of the city. Tony, Lauren and Pauline were in the Braxton Street Law Clinic, calling clients on their cell phones to check on their well-being and to let them know not to worry about their pending cases, that the courthouse was temporarily closed. "Did anybody reach Lily?" Lauren asked.

"I’ve called her a half-dozen times. The only times I’ve gotten through, it’s gone to voicemail," said Tony.

"I talked with Maria Esperanza," offered Pauline. "She said Lily dropped her off about 11:30 at her sister’s house in Culver City."

"I’m going to call my brother in San Diego," Lauren said. "They’ll have TV. They probably know more about everything than we do." Scrolling through the numbers in her Palm Pilot, she dialed her brother. "Damon… Yeah, I’m okay… Jason’s okay… ," the latter reference to her husband. "Well, we’re a little worried about one of our lawyers, though… Lilian Stuart, you know the cute lesbian you wanted me to fix you up with… Listen, we were hoping you might know something. Our power is out…” She listened a moment. "Are you sure…? Thanks, Damon. Hey, call Mom and Dad and tell them we’re okay."

She turned to her co-workers, her face drained of color. "They’re saying that it was centered in Culver City. That a mall collapsed. People are dead."

Nervously, Tony asked, "Did she say anything about going to a mall?"

"No," answered Pauline. "She was supposed to come back to the office. She had a court appearance at one. But she called back to say she had an errand and to send her files to the courthouse."

Tony’s stomach tightened and an ominous feeling came over him. "I’m going down there." He grabbed his jacket and cell phone. "Call me if you hear anything."

*  *  *

Scott Rutherford stared into the traffic. His handsome face was set in an anxious combination of fear and concern. The muscles in his jaw tightened and he ran his right hand once more through his sandy brown hair in frustration. He glanced in the rearview mirror before signaling to move to the next lane. The brown eyes reflected back at him from the mirror were tired and masked the guilt which he now so keenly felt.

"Kim!" He spoke loudly into the speakerphone as he merged into the next lane. After hearing the obnoxious recording six previous times that "all circuits are busy", he had finally gotten through on his cell phone to his sister-in-law. "Has anyone heard from Anna?" he asked as he inched along the freeway towards Culver City,

"No, she called Carmen about 11:30 and said the meeting had run over and she would be in the office in about an hour. No one’s heard from her since." Scott could hear the worry in her voice.

"Kim, I got a call at my office from our housekeeper." He took a breath and stared grimly into the traffic as he broke the news. "They found Anna’s car crushed in the garage of the Endicott Mall."

"Oh, my God!" she screamed. "Scott, was she…?"

"No, Kim. The police said she wasn’t in the car. A lot of people have gone to the hospital, though." He paused. "They said that part of the mall has collapsed. Listen, I need you to see if you can find out if she was taken somewhere. And somebody has to stay by the phone. I’m headed toward the mall. I don’t think I’ll be able to get all the way there, but I’ll get as close as I can. I’ll call you as soon as I know something and you do the same. Okay?"

Kim was frantic and she felt tears beginning to form. Her usually cheerful face was fractured by the deep creases which formed in her forehead. However, she knew this was no time to panic. She knew they needed to find out all they could before the news reached their father, George Kaklis. "I’m on it. If you can’t reach me, leave a message."

"Right." Scott ended the call and edged over to the exit for Endicott Avenue. Please let her be okay.

Scott loved his wife and was deeply committed to his marriage. But a careless one-night stand with his ex-girlfriend one month before his wedding had produced a child, a beautiful son, and had put his marriage at risk. Anna might never have learned of this breach had they not run into the woman three months ago, now carrying the two-month-old baby boy with Scott’s brown eyes. As she had watched the awkward but knowing exchange between her husband and the woman, realization dawned. Anna moved her things into the guest room as soon as they got home and, as yet, refused his attempts to talk about it.

I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to her, just let her be all right!

*  *  *

"Hello!" Lily called out. Desperate to find the source of the voice she had heard, she asked again, "Where are you? Are you hurt?" Hearing nothing, she feared the worst for the woman who had cried out. The aftershock had brought the ceiling lower, but Lily was safely crouched at a low point in the bookstore. If the woman was at a higher point, she may have been hurt… or worse. "Talk to me! Where are you?" she yelled. Still no response.

Lily understood the danger she was in. The next tremor might bring the ceiling all the way down, sealing her underground with no hope of rescue. But she couldn’t forge ahead knowing that there was someone else trapped here, someone who likely had no chance at all without her help. Her mind made up, Lily started to scramble toward the direction of the sound.

After more than an hour of groping in the darkness and calling out, Lily’s hand brushed upon a full head of thick hair, then a warm face. "There you are. I finally found you," she said with relief. Reaching out, Lily discovered that the woman was pinned underneath a bookshelf. The top shelf lay across her chest. She found a strong pulse in the woman’s neck, and gently patted the woman’s cheek until she felt her stir.

Anna’s eyes fluttered open, but in the darkness, she couldn’t see who was touching her face. Nonetheless, she felt calmed by the presence of this other person. "Thank god," Anna murmured, shaking her head slowly from side to side. "I’m… the bookshelf is…”

"Yeah, I can feel it across your chest. Can you move?"

"It hurts. My leg… the whole weight of the shelf is on it. Every time I try to push it up off my chest, it presses harder into my knee," she explained. Taking a deep breath, she went on. "That last tremor made it even heavier. I think something fell on it." Lily could hear the relief in the woman’s voice, relief she assumed was because someone had come to help.

"Well, let’s see if we can get you out of here." Lily crawled alongside the woman. The second shelf lay across the woman’s lower abdomen, just above her hips. She ran her hand underneath it, noting that it wasn’t pressed tightly against the woman’s body.

"Under normal circumstances, I’d buy you dinner first," Lily joked, hoping to ease the woman’s tension. "I’m Lily, by the way. I thought you’d like to know who was feeling you up."

Anna laughed at the joke, not minding at all the hands that brushed against her to help free her. "I’m Anna, and I can’t tell you how glad I am to meet you! I’ve been screaming for hours."

"Yeah well, sorry. I was busy trying on a new top."

Anna was comforted by the woman’s gentle humor. She caught the small hand and squeezed it. "Thank you for coming to help me," she said sincerely.

"No problem," Lily reassured the woman, returning the squeeze. She then pulled her hand away and reached lower to gently touch Anna’s knee where the lower shelf pinched the swollen flesh. "I can see why this hurts so much. This shelf is digging into your knee. Let’s see if we can take some of the pressure off."

Reaching around her in the dark, Lily began gathering books into two piles, one underneath the shelf that pinned Anna’s knee, the other beside the top shelf that pressed against her chest. When the piles were stacked even with the shelf, she told Anna of her plan. "I need you to get ready to push up on the shelf on your end. I’m going to lift this one up at the same time and slip a couple of books under it. Then I’ll put a couple of books under your shelf."

"Just say when," Anna said, gripping the shelf.

Lily double-checked the positions of her stacks of books, and kneeled next to Anna’s knee. There was barely enough headroom for her to straighten up. "Ready? Now."

Both women grunted as they lifted their respective shelves. Lily strained to hold the bookshelf with one hand while her other quickly slid two thin books onto the top of the stack. Next, she added one thick book to the stack next to the top shelf. When they released their loads, the shelf was still touching, but not pressing into Anna’s leg. The other shelf was no longer resting on the woman.

Anna was so relieved that she could have cried. Her foot began to tingle as the blood once again surged through her lower leg.

"Is that better?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Much better! Most of the pressure is off my leg now, and I can’t feel the other shelf at all."

"Think you can do that again? One more time, and I think I’ll be able to pull you out."

"Ready when you are," Anna replied eagerly.

They repeated the procedure, this time adding one thick hardback book to each stack. "How’s that?" Lily asked as she reached again to Anna’s knee.

I’m free! "It still hurts, but at least I can move now." Anna squirmed, trying to no avail to slide out of her prison. "I need to get out from under this thing," the exasperation evident in her voice.

"Let me help." Lily moved up and slipped her hands underneath the woman’s arms. "Tell me when you’re out." Slowly, she scooted backwards, extricating Anna from the vise that had held her for almost nine hours. It seemed to Lily that she had backed up ten feet. "Good God, woman! How tall are you?"

"About five-ten."

"Amazon!"

"And you?"

"Five-five."

"Pygmy!"

Lily threw her head back and laughed heartily. Anna joined her, and both women felt a little of the palpable tension of the past several hours start to lessen, perhaps simply from the knowledge that they were no longer in this alone.

*  *  *

Once Anna was free, the two women moved slowly to the lowest part of the room. The injured woman’s knee was throbbing, and she couldn’t support her full weight on it. She followed Lily to the far wall, and sat while the shorter woman felt for a path to the next room.

"Is there a method to your madness, or do we just keep moving any way we can?" Anna asked.

"In the other rooms, I’ve found a break between the wall and the ceiling right where the floor has sunk the most," Lily explained. "I’m hoping we’ll find an opening, maybe some light from the atrium or even outside. If we do, we’ll work towards getting out that way. There’s no way out back the way I came."

"Sounds like a plan. What do you want me to do?"

"If you can crawl up to the front of the store, try feeling around the ceiling for a breeze, or even air that’s a different temperature. If you find something, it might mean there’s a way into the atrium."

Anna did as she was told, but after almost an hour, she had found no clue of a break in collapsed walls. Her leg was aching badly, but she kept it to herself. We have enough to worry about.

Lily, though, had located another pass-through halfway up the east wall. The weight of the store above them had pushed on the wall and forced it to buckle. A small hole had formed between the two sliding layers of wall and the two women pushed and pulled one another until they both fell from the gap into the adjacent bridal shop.

"God, I could sleep for a week!" Lily flopped down into the pile of lace and satin lining the crevasse that bisected the store. Racks of wedding gowns had rolled into the gaping hole and toppled, layering the earth which had broken through the store floor with a strange blanket of plush cloth.

"Maybe we should stop and rest few hours," Anna suggested casually, falling beside her savior.

"As tempting as that sounds, I’m worried about the aftershocks. The ceiling dropped during the last one, and the next one could finish the job. If that happens, I’d realize my worst fear."

"What’s that? Being buried alive?"

"No, being caught dead in a bridal shop," Lily deadpanned.

Anna laughed and reached across the darkness to elbow her companion jovially. After a moment, she said, "Look, I know it’s a risk. But my stomach tells me that it’s way after dark, and if we wait, we’ll have a better chance of seeing an opening in the daylight."

Lily considered Anna’s point, but persisted, "I really think it would be best if we kept moving."

"I can’t, Lily," Anna finally confessed. "My knee is killing me. I’m going to have to rest it, at least for a couple of hours."

"Do you mind if I check your knee?" Lily reached toward Anna’s leg and ran her hand across the woman’s injured knee. She heard Anna’s breath catch in her throat as she anticipated the tenderness in the joint. Lily was shocked to discover how swollen it was. "Anna! Why didn’t you say something? God, it must hurt like hell!" She groped around on the floor until she found what felt like a small display pedestal. Pulling it over to the tall woman, she piled several cloths - probably $3,000 wedding dresses - on top to soften it, and gently lifted Anna’s leg to place it on the cushion.

Anna considered the gravity of their predicament for a moment and finally proposed, "I know it’s still dangerous in here. Maybe you should go ahead by yourself. When you get out, you can tell them where I am. I’m only going to slow you down."

Lily didn’t hesitate. "We’re going out together, Anna. I think we’ll be safe here - it’s a low point. We’ll rest a few hours and move out when your leg’s better. Besides, with two of us, we should make good time if we’re rested."

Both women leaned back and got as comfortable as they could. A minute or so passed and Anna asked into the darkness, "So why are you so afraid of bridal shops?" She was impressed that this woman could keep her sense of humor at a time like this. It was calming, and she knew somehow that the story behind that phobia would be a good one.

Lily chuckled. "Let’s just say that walking down the aisle in a white dress has never been on my list of dreams."

"Wish I’d had that foresight," Anna mumbled. "How did you get to be so wise?"

"Well, it isn’t wisdom, exactly." Lily wavered. She was usually up front about her sexuality, but finding herself trapped with a homophobe would be the icing on the cake for a day like today. "It just isn’t for me."

Anna heard the hesitation and regretted putting her new friend on the spot. "Sorry, I didn’t mean get personal."

"No, it’s okay… I just…” Oh, what the hell. "I’m gay."

Silence. More silence. Shit! Should have kept my big fat mouth shut!

"Oh… so you really were feeling me up?" Anna threw another elbow into Lily’s rib, and the young woman let out the breath she’d been holding.

I like this lady! Lily thought with relief as she laughed out loud.

*  *  *

Tony reached the mall long after dark. Between the emergency vehicles and the traffic restrictions, he was forced to park in a residential area off Endicott and walk the last mile to the site. Others had the same idea, and soon Tony fell into step with a tall, sandy-haired man who had left his Z3 on the sidewalk.

"Have you heard anything?" he asked the man.

"Just that the mall has collapsed," the other man responded grimly, not losing his stride.

"Yeah, the radio said it was the north side. I think we can get there quicker if we cut through here," Tony said, indicating a side street that ran parallel to the mall’s fenced parking area.

The two men helped each other scale the fence and soon emerged behind the parking garage. By approaching from the north, they had bypassed the police tape that restricted foot traffic in the area.

"One of the lawyers from my office is missing. She was in Culver City when she called in, but no one knows exactly where. We haven’t heard from her since just before the quake," Tony related to the man, who seemed extremely focused on getting as close as he could.

"My wife is missing," was all the man said as he began to jog to the rescue site.

"Well, good luck! Hope you find her!" Tony shouted to the receding figure.

Tony was taken aback at the devastation before him. On the lower level of the south wing, the mall opened directly onto the parking lot. But the site sloped upward to the north, thus the lower level stores on one side of the north wing were effectively underground. When the second level collapsed, the new roofline dropped to ground level, making it appear as though half of the north wing had been bulldozed.

Tony scanned the parking lot for Lily’s RAV4. Not finding it, he slipped into the restricted garage. He ducked to walk through the lower level, checking carefully the crushed vehicles. When he reached the second level, his breath caught. There sat Lily’s small SUV, its ‘What Would Xena Do?’ bumper sticker confirming its owner.

The lawyer backtracked his route to exit the garage. By the time he reached the parking lot, his eyes were full of tears. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he called Lauren. He got through on the fourth attempt.

"Tony! What did you find out?" Lauren immediately asked, recognizing the number on her caller ID. She stood up from her kitchen table and clutched her husband’s hand.

"She was in the mall, Lauren. I found her car."

"Oh God, no!" Lauren gasped. Jason stood and wrapped his arms around his wife. When she calmed, she said simply, "I’m going to call her mom, Tony. She needs to be here." They talked a few more moments and hung up.

*  *  *

At 6:15 a.m. on Friday morning, the second aftershock woke the women from their exhausted sleep. Without thought, they reached in the dark for each other and clasped hands while the earth shook. What previously was the ceiling above them groaned under the weight of the collapsed building. Both women uttered silent prayers that what was left of the walls and supports would hold. They could hear the sound of metal scraping and twisting and smelled the fresh dust and debris loosened by the jolt.

"You okay?" Anna asked.

"All things being equal, I’d prefer to wake to ‘Morning Edition’," Lily quipped when the shaking stopped. She drew in a deep breath, and stretched her arms and shoulders as she sat upright. "We’d better get a move on. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get out of here." She pulled the taller woman to her feet. "How’s the knee?"

"It’s still pretty sore. But I can walk. Let’s go."

They repeated the drill from the bookstore. Anna crawled to the front of the bridal shop and checked along the ceiling for a draft. Lily found another gap at the top of the south wall or the bridal shop, and soon they were squeezing through into the shoe store.

"Only two more to go and we’ll be at the end," the small woman declared. Left unsaid was the hope that at the end would be a way out. "There’s a jewelry store next, then a lingerie store." They sat for a moment and rested against the slanted floor. Out of habit, Lily reached to straighten her skirt. She caught the irony and laughed. "I picked a great day to wear my favorite suit, huh?"

"Yeah, me too. I had a fancy meeting first thing, so I got out one of my best."

"What kind of work do you do?" Lily inquired.

"I sell cars. What about you?"

Anna’s response surprised the blonde. This woman sounded well-educated, cultured. "I’m a lawyer." She paused, anticipating a lawyer joke.

"That figures. You strike me as someone who could be pretty argumentative." Another elbow to Lily’s rib followed. Since the darkness prevented either woman from seeing the other’s expression, Anna’s elbow let Lily know she was only teasing the young attorney.

"Hey, watch it! You ever been sued for personal injury?"

The banter quieted for a moment, each woman mentally sizing up the other. After a few minutes, Lily asked, "Are you afraid, Anna? Afraid that we won’t get out of here?"

Anna was quiet for so long that Lily wondered if she hadn’t heard the question. Finally, the tall woman spoke. "I’ve considered that. I thought about it a lot during those hours I was trapped and alone. But ever since you helped me out from under that bookshelf, I haven’t doubted for a moment that we’re going to get out of here. I just don’t think you’d have pulled me out if I had been meant to die in here."

"I hope you’re right, Amazon."

*  *  *

Friday morning, Scott attended the briefing for family members at FEMA’s Public Information Office, a tent set up near the entrance to the mall. No additional damage was reported after the morning aftershock, and rescue workers were hopeful that they could re-enter the building to search for survivors and victims.

Reaching Kim’s voicemail, he passed on the update.

Meanwhile, Kim was consoling her step-father, George Kaklis. She and her husband Hal had driven to her parents’ home to let them know what they had learned about Anna.

The patriarch of the Kaklis family was visibly distraught. George Tydeus Kaklis was a first generation American. Born in 1937, shortly after his parents left Greece for the United States, he had been raised during tumultuous times. Though too young to remember the war itself, the values of the World War II generation - loyalty toward his country and a firm belief in hard work - were deeply ingrained in him. Anna was his beloved daughter, the only remaining link to his first wife, Christia. It was Christia’s father who had founded Premier Motors as an Oldsmobile dealership in 1951. Working with his wife, George had acquired the BMW franchise in the mid-1960s, and built it into the success it was. Anna’s beautiful mother had died of breast cancer when the child was only ten. Three years later, George married Kim’s mother, Martine, a widow of six years. Together, they had one son, David, now a high school junior.

The entire family, with the exception of Scott, was gathered at the Kaklis home in Beverly Hills. Everyone understood the special bond between the old man and his daughter, and it was important that they offer their support. As blended families go, theirs was unusually devoted.

Martine had always taken in stride her husband’s doting on Anna, as she herself was particularly close to Kim. Over the years, Anna had forged a very loving relationship with her stepmother, made much easier by the fact that she had bonded instantly with her stepsister, only one year younger than herself. Since the first day they met, the girls had been best friends and confidantes.

As the family comforted George, Kim walked out to the patio alone and began to sob. She had spent the entire day feigning optimism. A full day had passed since the earthquake and the fears she had worked so hard to bury had begun to simmer to the surface. Knowing she couldn’t just sit by the phone and wait for news from Scott any longer, she hurriedly wiped the remaining tears and went back into the house and grabbed her sweater. "Hal, will you drive me to the Endicott Mall? One of us should be there, and Scott shouldn’t be by himself. I’m going to sit with him until we learn something."

*  *  *

"It was probably bad luck for me to say anything about not getting out of here. In fact, the earthquake was probably my fault too." Lily and Anna had been searching the room by hand for more than two hours when they concluded that they were trapped. The shorter woman had found a gap at the top of the wall, but when Anna had scoped it out, she determined that it was only about two inches high and four inches across.

"We’ll just have to think of something else," Anna said reassuringly.

Guessing that Anna would be reluctant to complain about her knee, Lily spoke up. "What do you say we rest a few minutes?"

The tall woman was instantly relieved. They sat down to rest and regroup. Anna closed her eyes and soon, her thoughts wandered to the life that awaited her if and when she escaped this tomb. "So who’s waiting for you out there?" Anna asked.

"Probably no one," Lily replied. "I’m sure my friends from work have missed me by now, but I didn’t tell anyone that I was stopping by the mall."

"So no girlfriend?" Anna tried to imagine what kind of girlfriend Lily might have.

"No. I’m between heartbreaks," Lily joked.

"Yeah, I bet. I suspect that you’re the heartbreaker. You seem so confident and in charge of everything else."

"It’s a ruse." Lily was quiet for a moment. "Is anyone waiting for you?"

"My husband, I guess."

"You guess?"

"No, I’m sure he’s there." Anna grew pensive. She didn’t want Lily to think she’d married an ogre, but their current situation was depressing enough without adding to the misery by pouring her heart out to a virtual stranger in the dark. "I… I didn’t mean to give you the wrong impression. He’s a good man. It’s just that we may have rushed a bit in getting married." She paused, and said aloud for the first time, "I’m not sure we’re right for each other."

"How long have you been married?" Lily inquired.

"A little over a year."

Lily placed a hand on Anna’s shoulder. "If you want to talk about it, I’m not going anywhere. Literally."

"No, that’s okay." Anna paused, then added, "I’ve had a lot of trouble talking about it. It’s just one of those things I’m going to have to work out on my own. And with my husband."

Just thirteen months ago, Anna and Scott had stood before their family and friends saying those words everyone hopes to utter only once in a lifetime. Now those promises stood in shambles, and neither was sure their marriage could be saved.

Anna had desperately wanted to hide her situation from her family. If we can work it out somehow, no one need ever know that this happened. She had waited so long to find the man with whom she thought she could spend the rest of her life, enduring gentle criticism from her father about her so-called perfectionist standards for men. For years, she had written off dates that she deemed too dim, too self-centered, or too focused on ending up between the sheets.

Scott was none of those. A professor in the business school at Southern Cal, he had been eager to hear how she applied her MBA coursework to the operations of the BMW dealership. He picked her brain for ideas on how to make his classes more practical to build in his students the enthusiasm for business that she so clearly manifested. As they shared coffee and conversation over several weeks, Anna grew to like the handsome 40-year-old with the gentle brown eyes. Coffee became dinner, and dinner became romance. Four months after their first meeting, Scott proposed.

Anna had never been so comfortable with a man in all the years she had dated. Memories of her first - and only other - sexual experience always brought an involuntary shudder. Victor was a grad student at Cal Poly with whom she had gone out only casually for a few months. She hadn’t even told the young man that she was a virgin, because that would be acknowledging that he was somehow special, and he really wasn’t. To this day, she regretted sharing that intimacy just to satisfy a curiosity. The experience was fine. "Fine" was really the only word to describe it. The lack of "fireworks" made sense, she reasoned, since in the absence of love, sex itself seemed an empty act.

Scott was an experienced lover, and the physical aspect of their relationship was pleasing. But to Anna, it seemed that sex wasn’t exactly living up to its reputation as the be-all-end-all, though she convinced herself that it would get better as they grew closer. But after only a few months of marriage, their lovemaking seemed strained and mechanical, and no matter how hard either of them tried, they couldn’t seem to connect on an emotional level when they shared their bodies. Despite the fact that she truly loved Scott, she just didn’t feel the passion for him she thought she eventually would.

After eight months of marriage, Scott suggested they start a family. "I’m not getting any younger," he had stated, "and neither are you," he teased. Anna knew Scott would be a wonderful father, and decided that a baby might be just the ticket to bring them closer. Then they ran into Sarah.

Anna was returned to the here and now when a hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her feet. "Let’s see if there’s a way to go through the ceiling!"

PART 4

T HE CHANNEL 26 news crew was setting up for its live report from the scene for the 26 Noon News. Art Hanson picked up the scene report from the public information officer and scanned the crowd for an anguished face. He found many, including that of a young man in a crumpled suit.

Hanson approached the man. "Hello. I’m Art Hanson with Channel 26 News. Would you mind answering a few questions so that our viewers can get an idea of how serious the situation is here at the mall?" he pleaded hopefully.

"Sure. But I’m just waiting like everyone else."

"That’s okay." Turning, Hanson yelled "Janie, over here!" and a tall, forty-ish woman with curly brown hair trudged over to the tent, her camera already shouldered for the news spot. Hanson scribbled on a notepad. "Could you tell me your name?"

"Tony. Anthony LeFevre." He spelled his last name for the newsman.

"Who are you waiting for here?"

"Lilian Stuart. She’s a lawyer at our firm. We haven’t heard from her since yesterday. Her car was found in the garage by the part of the mall that fell."

Hanson briefed Tony on the questions he would ask, and gave instruction on where he should face and how he should use the microphone. As the taped interview was winding down, the reporter squared his shoulders and looked directly at Tony. "Mr. LeFevre… it’s been twelve hours since any survivors were found. What do you think of your friend’s chances?" Hanson was hoping for an emotional response, and he was not disappointed.

"If I were trapped in there, I’d want Lily with me. Lily’s going to make it out. She’s that kind of person." Tony's words sounded stronger and more assured than he perhaps felt.

Scott Rutherford listened in to the final remarks. He wondered if Anna were that kind of person as well. How could I not know that about her?

As though reading his thoughts, Kim Philips placed her hand on her brother-in-law’s shoulder. "She’ll be all right, Scott. She’ll fight to hold on."

"I certainly haven’t given her a reason to fight her way out of there," he said dejectedly. Turning to walk away, Kim pulled him back.

"You’re going to have to explain that comment, Scott."

The pair walked over to the Red Cross water truck and sat on the bumper in the shade. Scott was crying at the end of the awful tale, and Kim had listened intently to every word. It was all coming to light now - Anna’s long hours, her moodiness, the way she had avoided the family. Kim wanted very much to slap her brother-in-law senseless, but knew that this was Anna’s call. Instead, she said, "I’m in Anna’s corner, Scott. Whatever she wants is what I want." It was their Oath of Sisters, a pact they had made when Anna was fourteen and Kim thirteen. Kim pushed herself up and brushed off her dusty jeans. Looking down at Scott, she could see the anguish in his eyes. She patted him lightly on the back and then turned to head toward the public information tent to await the noon update.

*  *  *

"Damn! This thing is stubborn!" The women had been working more than an hour to loosen a ceiling panel near the wall that bordered the next store. The ceiling at this point was just low enough for Anna to stretch her arms up and reach it. Lily had located a standard plastic and metal chair on which to stand, though it teetered precariously on the crooked floor. Each time they pushed, pulled or pounded, it gave a little but always returned snugly to its place. On one occasion, Lily reached through the opening when it was pushed upward and determined that there was about a foot of space between the ceiling tile and the actual ceiling of the shoe store. That would be barely enough room to maneuver, but first they needed access.

Lily, still trying valiantly to keep their spirits up, had been jabbering on about how they could have picked up souvenirs along the way, emerging from the rubble in dirty white wedding gowns with tennis shoes and diamond earrings. "Just imagine what we could pick up in Fredrick’s of Hollywood!" she joked.

Her companion though, was quiet, lost in thought from their earlier conversation about who might greet them when they exited. "Pardon me, am I keeping you awake?" Lily noticed the woman’s extended silence and tried to inject some levity into the question.

"Sorry. I was thinking about something. What were you saying?"

"I was saying ‘Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?’ It might help if you got it off your chest." Lily continued to tug at the ceiling tile.

Anna sighed, and plopped down on the sloping floor. It might help. And maybe it would be easier to talk about it in the dark. "Well, it’s… you see I… I learned recently that my husband had a baby with another woman. It happened before we were married, but we were engaged, and… we had already… been intimate." Well there, that wasn’t so hard. She continued, "It was his old girlfriend, and both of them had been drinking. We ran into her and the baby last November, and I’ve spent every night since then in the guest room."

Lily considered her companion. Anna's quiet strength and confidence were obvious and Lily realized it must have taken a lot of courage for Anna to admit this betrayal in her life, especially to someone she had known for such a short time. Lily wanted to kick Anna's son of a bitch husband, even though she didn’t even know him. "That’s a pretty heavy load, Anna. I can see why you’re upset." She didn’t want to pry, but she sensed that the woman needed to talk about it. "What do you think you’ll do?"

"Well, it occurred to me more than once that disappearing under a pile of concrete would settle a lot," Anna laughed quietly.

"Don’t even say that!" Lily countered angrily.

"No, no! I’m not being serious," the tall woman backpedaled. "I told you already. Once you helped me out, I knew I wasn’t meant to die in here. I plan on getting out of here. And when I do, I have to decide what’s next. I’m not going to keep beating Scott up about all of this, or myself for that matter. We’ll fix it."

Lily relaxed, relieved to see that Anna still had a fire in her. "I’m sure you will, Anna. I bet you have no idea how strong you are. I can see it, and I’ve known you less than a day."

With a strong jerk, Lily broke off a corner of the sturdy tile, and reached above it. A metal brace in the center was holding the tile – each tile, probably – firmly into place. To get through, they were going to have to break it apart piece by piece.

"What would you do if you were me?" Anna continued.

"I wouldn’t touch that question with a ten-foot pole! I don’t really know your history, or how you feel about each other. Besides, you definitely don’t want to be taking advice on your love life from someone like me."

"Oh, right. I forgot I was in here with The Heartbreak Kid."

"Noooo. You’re in here with The Heartbroken Kid. I make bad decisions. Repeatedly."

"Why don’t I take a turn on tearing that ceiling apart? While you rest, you can tell me your sordid tales."

"You’ll think I’m pathetic," Lily groaned.

"Me? Who am I to pick on you? Come on, tell me about your heartbreaks, Kid." Climbing up to take her turn at the ceiling, Anna added, "Besides, if you’re that pathetic, maybe I’ll feel better."

"Great. I’m stuck in here with a comedienne."

"You’d have said the same thing and you know it." She was right.

"Okay, but you’re going to think I’m such a loser." She leaned back on the incline and told Anna the tales of Melanie, Becca and Beverly, leaving out the sex parts so she wouldn’t embarrass her new friend.

Lily had never been with a man. Her first sexual experience was during her sophomore year in college, with Melanie, a woman she met at a lecture on lesbian health. The sex was fantastic and Lily was sure she had found her other half on the very first try. But it was not to be. The more experienced lesbian wasn’t ready to settle down, and Lily was determined not to wear her heart on her sleeve next time.

Alas, the heart has a will of its own, and at the beginning of her senior year, she fell hard for Becca Silby, UCLA’s All-American point guard. That lasted nearly two years, until Becca opted out of the WNBA draft in favor of a more lucrative European contract. It was pretty clear to Lily what that said regarding their future.

After she landed her job at the law clinic - landed is a funny word, since most young lawyers shunned this work in favor of a little prestige and having enough to eat - she met Beverly, a home health care consultant ten years her senior at 35, with a precocious five-year-old son. Lily moved into Beverly’s three-bedroom home and immediately meshed her life with that of her new lover. She adored Josh, and the feeling was mutual. Beverly was definitely The One. That is, until two years into their relationship when Lily suggested that they trade rings or some other token of devotion. Beverly wasn’t into commitment, but she didn’t want to be the jerk here, especially since it might be difficult to explain to her son. So she began to complain about the things Lily did, little things at first, then eventually, most things. She would pick fights, then lambaste the younger woman for losing her temper. In a final act of cruelty, she asked Lily to move out so that her son would no longer be exposed to Lily's mood swings and unpredictable temper. It took a long time for Lily to stop blaming herself for the demise of the relationship and realize Beverly's game.

"So I’m a three-time loser," she finished. "If I ever do really fall in love, I seriously doubt if I’ll be able to tell if it’s real. Now you see why I say you shouldn’t ask me for love advice."

"Don’t be silly. You’re not a loser. Sounds to me like you opened up your heart and some people just took advantage," Anna comforted. "Your turn again, okay? My arms feel like they’re going to fall off." Anna had successfully removed another portion of the tile.

"Sure," Lily said, scrambling up to the lowered ceiling. Taking turns, the women continued to break the tile apart bit by bit. When Anna found a metal shoe sizer in the pile of debris, they were able to make quicker work of their task, and soon, the hole was large enough for each to squeeze through.

*  *  *

Eleanor Stuart drove straight to her daughter’s apartment, hoping against hope that Lily had somehow made it home. She was met by Lily’s two closest friends, Sandy, a social worker who collaborated often with Lily on some of her cases, and her partner Suzanne. Without a word, the three women embraced in the entryway, each shedding quiet tears.

Sandy and Suzanne had been partners for 11 years, and Eleanor loved that Lily had such strong successful role models in her life. Two years ago, she and Lily had vacationed with the pair in Mexico, and she got the chance to really get to know the two, individually and as a couple. There were never any secrets between Eleanor and Lily so Eleanor had known from Lily’s high school days that she was gay. Though she would never have chosen such a difficult path for her daughter, Eleanor wanted the kind of happiness she saw between Sandy and Suzanne for Lily.

Those pleasant memories were far removed from the moment. The women saw the dark circles under Eleanor’s red-rimmed eyes, and knew how hard this was for her. They pulled her into Lily’s apartment, and filled her in on what they had learned from Tony after the six o’clock briefing.

Search crews using dogs had entered the mall shortly after ten this morning. As of six o’clock, they had removed the bodies of nine victims. No survivors had been found. The search was continuing, though the FEMA task force was no longer optimistic.

Tony had been sickened by what he saw, but he was relieved to report that Lily was not among the dead. Eleanor knew Tony from having visited Lily several times over the five years that her daughter had worked at the clinic, and she had passed on through Lauren her appreciation for the role he was playing in learning Lily’s fate.

"I need to go down there," said Eleanor, looking around to retrieve her car keys. "It’s my job to wait, not Tony’s. He’s done enough."

"Not now, Eleanor. You need to rest." Sandy put her hands on Eleanor’s shoulders. "I’ll go down there with Tony. Suzanne will stay here, and you can come tomorrow morning." She searched Eleanor’s eyes for agreement. "Really, you need some rest."

Eleanor acquiesced, and walked out onto the small patio for a few moments of quiet contemplation. "You need to come back to me, baby," she said to the night, hoping Lily would somehow hear her.

Suzanne brought the woman’s bag in from the car and placed it in Lily’s guest room. Hugging her partner, she instructed, "Call me on my cell phone if you hear anything. I’ll have it on vibrate so it won’t wake her up."

*  *  *

It was well past midnight, but the trapped women had no way of knowing. Both were tired, sore, hungry and thirsty, but they resolved to keep moving as long as they could. Dehydration was their biggest worry now.

Over an hour ago, they had climbed into the narrow crawlspace above the ceiling. The support structure, a series of metal frames and braces, was difficult to navigate, especially in the dark. Anna in particular was struggling, her long legs constantly scraping against the bolts that stuck out from the frames. Progress was slow in the limited space.

When they reached the wall, they were frustrated to find that the metal frames were laid out like a maze, preventing them from moving forward toward the gap in the ceiling. In fact, it seemed that the only avenue for moving from the back of the store to the front was along the row that held the light fixtures. That meant backing up about ten feet and crawling toward the front of the store. They would have to guess which alley led to the gap in the wall.

Two hours later, on the fifth try, Anna found the opening. "The wall is crumbling here, but it still isn’t big enough for us to get through. I think we’re going to have to break it away like we did with the tile," she reported.

Lily was behind her in the narrow corridor which housed the light fixtures, and opted to return to the store for the shoe sizer. There was no way they could break through the wall with their bare hands.

The crawlspace was filled with dust, bugs and rodent droppings, though these elements were fortunately hidden from view by the darkness. For Lily, the stagnant air and exertion had combined to produce a tickling cough that was always bad news. Prone to asthma attacks when she exercised or encountered certain allergens, Lily carried her emergency inhaler wherever she went. Almost everywhere, she lamented, knowing it was in her briefcase under the driver’s seat. Who knew?

Anna napped while Lily retrieved the tool. She awoke to the sound of violent coughing. "Lily! Are you all right?"

"I’ll be fine," Lily wheezed as she crawled into the narrow space beside the tall woman. "I’m having a little trouble with my asthma, but I don’t think it’s going to get any worse."

Anna took the shoe sizer and began pounding at the edges of the crumbling drywall. Lily insisted on taking over after a few minutes, but it was obvious to both women that she was in acute distress.

"What can I do?" asked the tall woman anxiously.

"Nothing." She drew a shallow raspy breath. "I just need to get out of here and get some fresh air."

Anna took the sizer and began to work feverishly on the wall. She refused Lily’s attempts to take a turn, sliding ahead of the smaller woman so that she blocked the wall from her reach. When the hole was finally large enough, she started through head first. Lily strained to hold her feet as Anna lowered herself to the floor of Lawson’s Jewelry. Immediately, she noticed the broken glass. First her hand, then her bare foot met jagged shards that drew blood. Quickly, she turned and helped the blonde through the opening, guiding her up the sloping wall to avoid the danger. Lily was taking rapid shallow breaths and coughing profusely.

"It’s okay, Lily. We’re almost out. The air’s better in here. You’ll be okay." She desperately hoped that what she said was true.

"I need to… prop up… breathe better."

Anna hurriedly scooted behind her new friend, pulling the young woman onto her chest. She smoothed short strands of hair from Lily’s face, and rocked her gently.

For Lily, this was familiar relief. When she was younger, Eleanor had held her close and rocked her while she wheezed. Lily knew she was in big trouble here. Without her inhaler, the attack could get worse. Anna needed to keep moving.

"You need to go on," she rasped. "Send someone back."

"Not a chance, Pygmy. Like you said, we’re going out together." Anna hugged her loosely. "Get some rest. You’ll get better."

*  *  *

Eleanor arrived at the mall at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday morning. Tony had brought his car to the family parking area, and was asleep in the back seat. He had been at the site since Thursday afternoon. Sandy led the woman to where he slept, opened the backdoor of the car and nudged him gently. "Tony, Eleanor’s here."

The young man sat up, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs. His sorrowful look as his eyes met Eleanor’s nearly broke the older woman’s heart. "Thank you, Tony. I appreciate what you’ve done more than you could ever know." She took the man in her arms as he broke down and sobbed.

The crowd had dwindled this morning to fewer than three dozen. At last count, searchers had removed 18 bodies from the rubble, and no survivors had been found since mid-afternoon on Thursday. The list of missing was down to 11, including the wife of the haggard young man who had come to the mall with Tony. All were concluded to have been in one of the six stores on the lower level, as every other inch of the structure had been searched.

At the seven o’clock briefing, it was announced that engineers were going to come in today to determine the safest way to excavate the lower level. Sound technicians were setting up to scan for stray noises underground. "I’ll be honest with you," the site coordinator said. "We’re running out of time to help anyone who may be trapped underneath the structure. We don’t know what kind of air pockets there might be, or whether there was any gas or hazardous materials in the area. And at this point, dehydration is going to be a problem."

The families looked at one another grimly.

"But be assured that we’re going to do everything we can."

*  *  *

Something was different. Anna awoke to Lily’s vicious coughing spell. She helped the younger woman sit up and rubbed small circles on her back to comfort her as she gasped for breath. Anna looked around the jewelry store. There! A small but definite glow was evident at the back edge of the wall going into the next store.

"Lily! I can see daylight! Look!" Anna turned her friend in the direction of the patch of light. "Let’s go!"

Lily was unable to move. Without treatment, her asthma attack had left her depleted of the oxygen needed to make her body work, her muscles move. Between rapid shallow breaths, she pleaded, "Go, Anna! I can’t."

Anna was frozen with fear. She couldn’t leave her friend. This woman had saved her life.

Lily made it clearer. "Get help." She gasped for breath, then coughed violently. "I… have…to get…an inhaler…” Lily stammered. Or I’ll die.

With that, Anna squeezed Lily’s hands and kissed her bloodied forehead. "I’ll be back, Lily. It’ll be okay, I promise." Anna stood and hurried toward the faintly lit crack in the wall.

The dividing wall had separated from the concrete blocks that lined the back of the store, but the opening was too narrow to get through. Anna retrieved the shoe sizer and pounded fiercely on the wall until it crumbled and tore away. She easily scrambled under the fallen ceiling into the lingerie store and was elated to see a solid beam of light coming in from a quarter-sized opening at the apex of the room, about nine feet above the floor.

"Help! Help!" She screamed louder than she ever had. Looking about, she spotted an extension rod that clerks used to reach items on the higher displays. Stretching it to its full length, Anna poked it through the hole to the outside. Up and down, side to side. She needed to get someone’s attention.

After fifteen minutes, there was no response. She yelled again, but still no one heard. No one came.

Her eyes had grown accustomed to the dim light, and she spotted a mannequin at her feet, dressed in a red satin teddy. Anna pulled the extension rod back inside, and tied the teddy to its end. Pushing it back through the hole, she again waved it up and down, side to side, screaming for all she was worth.

*  *  *

Scott had been staring dejectedly at the crumpled mall as the searchers went about their work. He had asked for the fourth time to accompany them, and was told for the fourth time that he was not properly trained.

Suddenly, a movement caught his eye. "What the hell?" He squinted and walked toward the mall, gradually making out what looked like a red cloth… no, it was lingerie. It was definitely lingerie and it was waving back and forth. "Hey!" he yelled to the site manager, pointing to the spectacle. He started to run toward the spot, but was stopped by security.

By this time, a crowd had gathered around Scott and people were straining to see the first sign of life at the mall in almost 40 hours. Their view was obscured as rescuers rushed to the area.

*  *  *

The pole suddenly stopped moving as someone grabbed it from above. Anna pulled it back through, and yelled again. "Can you hear me?"

"We’re here. We’re going to get you out. Are you hurt?" the rescuer shouted.

"I’m all right. My friend needs help. She’s having an asthma attack. Please hurry."

"You need to stand back. We’re going to make the hole bigger. Get as far away as you can. Tell us when you’re ready."

Anna hurried back to the passageway. "Go ahead! I’m ready."

The next 15 minutes seemed like hours, but finally, the searchers had widened the hole enough to illuminate the entire room. "It’s going to be a few more minutes. We’ll need to use some machinery to break through this asphalt," he assured.

"My friend can’t wait," she pleaded desperately. "She needs an inhaler now for her asthma. She can’t breathe."

A few minutes later, a head emerged through the hole. "Where is your friend?" the emergency medical technician asked.

"She’s in the next store, back there." Anna pointed toward the hole through which she had previously climbed.

He disappeared, but soon the hole in the ceiling was filled by another man. "We want you to stay here. It’s too dangerous for you to go back there. When we get the hole widened, we’ll pull you out and send in one of the firefighters."

Anna was incredulous. What part of ‘she can’t breathe’ don’t they understand? "Give me the goddamned medicine!" she screamed. "Now! She’s dying!"

The man retreated and the EMT reappeared. "I’m going to pass it to you in a pouch. Do you know how to use it?"

"Yes," she lied. She was certain Lily would know, and she didn’t want to waste another second.

Moments later, a red pouch dropped through the hole to the floor below. Anna hurried to pick it up and shouted, "I’m going back. You can work on the hole. I won’t be in the way." With that, she was gone.

Lily was only vaguely aware of the commotion in the next room as she teetered on the brink of unconsciousness. She felt the tall woman scoot behind her and pull her into her lap. "I’ve got it," she heard, "the medicine. I need your help Lily." The EMT had assembled the inhaler for immediate use, and Anna figured out how to hold it to her friend’s mouth. Lily wrapped her hand around the instrument, and pumping it once into her mouth, breathed deeply. The reprieve was instant. She took three or four deep breaths, and pumped the device again.

Anna smiled widely with relief when she felt Lily sit up. "We’re about to get rescued. You ready?"

"You bet," whispered the blonde.

Together, they ambled to the passageway. As they crawled into the lingerie store from underneath the fallen ceiling, they were overjoyed to see a firefighter descending a ladder, carrying blankets and first aid equipment.

*  *  *

"Anna!" Scott shouted as he watched the tall dark-haired woman emerge from the hole in the ground. He pushed past the security guard and broke into a run. Half a minute later, he was holding the bruised and exhausted woman to his chest, feeling a convergence of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him completely. "Thank God, Anna. Oh, thank God!" was all he could say as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Anna returned the hug, crying as well, and raised her hand to take that of her sister, who joined them seconds later. "I’m okay. It’s all okay," she murmured.

Their joyful reunion was interrupted by the EMT, who was directing Anna to a waiting ambulance. She turned back to the rescuers to see them bring her friend through the opening on a stretcher, a ventilator affixed to her mouth and nose. Lily was slender and blonde, with cute features that belied her toughness. A nasty gash crossed her forehead above her left eye, which was swollen and black. "Scott, write my phone number down on something. Quick!" Anna ordered.

Anna crouched low to the stretcher and took her friend’s hand. Lily opened her eyes to behold the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Anna’s sparkling blue eyes leapt out from her dirty face amidst a cascade of shoulder-length jet-black hair. She smiled down at Lily and it melted her heart. Lily reached for the mask and pulled it aside. "Thank you, Anna. I couldn’t have made it without you."

"And I wouldn’t have made it without you. You saved my life, Lily." Taking the paper scrap from Scott, she said, "Here’s my number. Call me when you’re better. We’re going to be great friends, Pygmy." She stuffed the paper into Lily’s skirt pocket.

"Is she going to be okay?" Anna asked anxiously as the EMT inserted a butterfly clip into Lily’s forearm.

"Yeah, she looks good. We’re just going to get some fluid into her as soon as possible. This is the best way to do it." His voice was reassuring. "You should probably have some too," he added.

"Will I see her again at the hospital?" she asked as she limped toward the waiting ambulance.

"Probably not," the EMT answered. "You’re going to Sinai and she’s going to Central. Central is closer and they need to treat her asthma right away."

Anna turned back to watch Lily’s departure. An older woman now crouched over her friend, crying and smiling, obviously joyous to have her loved one back. Anna liked knowing that Lily was loved.

"Scott, Kim? Will you meet me at Sinai?" Anna stepped up gingerly into the back of the ambulance. She had wanted Kim to ride with her, but she knew that such a request would have been hard on Scott, so she opted just to go alone.

"Of course!" they blurted, as they turned and ran for the car.

The radio crackled inside Lily’s ambulance. "Change of plans, Dean. We’re taking her to Valley. Central’s full."

When the ambulance arrived at Valley Hospital, the triage nurse carefully removed Lily’s soiled clothing and tossed it in a trash bin. "She won’t be wanting any reminders of this, I bet," she told her co-worker.

PART 5

"I’ M SO PROUD of you Lionel! Everything you said was perfect. It was just the way we practiced." The blonde lawyer drew the shy four-year-old into her arms and hugged him fiercely. Turning to Sandy, at the courthouse today in her role as Lionel’s social worker, Lily went on, "I think Judge Evans will come back with what we want. This kind of stuff really gets to him." What they wanted was the boy’s removal from a drug-infested and violent home. Lionel’s grandmother had petitioned for custody, fearing he would suffer irreparable harm under her daughter’s care.

"You were great too, my friend. As usual, I might add," Sandy responded. Indeed, Lily was a powerful ally for families in trouble. It was as though she took each case personally, the social worker thought. She had seen her friend devastated last year when the attorney had failed to win a restraining order to protect a woman from her abusive boyfriend. The boyfriend subsequently killed the woman with a shotgun blast as she answered the door. Lily was sullen and withdrawn for days, second guessing her strategy and beating herself up mercilessly for failing the woman who had needed her.

Lily steered the boy to his grandmother’s side. "Look, you two should get some lunch at the café downstairs. We need to be back here by one. I think we’ll get a decision then." She turned to her friend. "I’ve got to make a couple of calls. Any chance I could talk you into grabbing me a tuna sandwich and a bottle of water? She hadn’t had a Diet Coke since the In-and-Out server had doused her silk top on that fateful day last February. I’ll be outside on one of those benches." she indicated the exit.

"Sure, I’ll be right there." With that, the social worker and her clients turned for the stairs.

Looking up, Lily caught a glimpse of a tall dark-haired woman. It had been seven months since the earthquake, and still, when she saw the familiar features on women she encountered it triggered her memory of the remarkable woman she had met. Automatically dialing her voicemail, her eyes followed the woman as she walked in her direction, the face obscured by the people in the crowded hallway.

It’s her! The sapphire eyes suddenly looked up and locked with her own. It’s really her!

Oh my God! It’s Lily! Anna realized at the same instant, her heart skipping a beat.

Both women stood frozen for a long moment as the recognition settled. Without thought, Lily turned off and pocketed her cell phone. She was the first to find her voice. "Anna?" Please let it be her!

"Lily?" the woman returned, her lips turning up into a broad grin.

Both women rushed the final few steps to come together in a tight hug. Neither spoke as they held the other close, each awash in memories of their ordeal. They relished the sensation of holding one another in the here and now, almost unbelieving that the moment was actually happening. Lily finally pulled back to take in the smiling face of the tall woman, but she didn’t relinquish her grip.

"I’d almost given up hope of ever seeing you again." Lily was elated, but she couldn’t stop the tears that welled up at seeing her friend again.

Anna saw the sparkling green eyes, and knew that her own were shining as well. "I waited for you to call. I figured you didn’t want to… you know, that maybe you wanted to put it all behind you." The blonde discerned the slightest hint of hurt in Anna’s statement.

"No, I wanted to call you. I tried, but I didn’t know how." She went on to explain how she’d lost her clothes at the hospital, and how she’d tried in vain to track Anna through the Red Cross and the hospital. "They didn’t have any records of anyone named Anna."

"Well, that makes sense. My full name is Christianna. That’s probably what the records said." Anna then recounted her own frustrations about trying to learn what she could about her friend. "Central Hospital had no record of a Lily or a Lilian, or even a Lilliputian."

"Stop it already with the short jokes! I didn’t go to Central. I went to Valley."

"I don’t believe it!" said a third voice. Not letting go of one another, the women turned to find Sandy holding two bottles of water and a brown bag lunch. "You have to be the one and only Anna the Amazon that Lily here has been talking about for months."

Still beaming, Lily reached out and pulled the social worker closer. "Sandy, I’d like to officially introduce you to Anna the Amazon. Anna, meet one of my dearest friends, Sandy Henke. Sandy’s a social worker and she and I are here today to argue a custody case," she explained.

"Hi Sandy. I’m Anna Ru…” she caught herself. "Kaklis. Anna Kaklis. Pleased to meet you."

"It’s great to finally meet you too. I tell you, Lily described you perfectly. I think I would have known you anywhere," she said, remembering how often her friend had used the word ‘beautiful.’ Anna was dressed in a tailored navy suit, the cropped jacket accentuating her trim waist. A strand of ivory pearls with matching earrings finished the look. ‘Stunning’ would have been more appropriate, she thought.

The little blonde blushed and panicked. She shot her friend a look that said, "Oh God, Sandy! Please don’t tell her how I went on and on about how beautiful she was!"

Anna unknowingly saved her with a quick reply. "Well, I almost can’t believe she could remember what I looked like. We only saw each other for a minute, and she was kind of on the edge there."

How could I ever forget you? "Well, you made quite an impression, saving my life and all. What brings you to the courthouse?" Lily asked, hoping to move away from the potentially dangerous subject.

"I came for my final divorce decree," Anna stated with a confidence she didn’t quite feel. Her eyes met and held those of the attorney as if waiting for judgment.

They were quiet for a moment until Sandy spoke up, "Listen, I’m going to head outside and look for a bench. Come out whenever you’re ready, Lily." Turning to Anna, she added, "Very nice to meet you. I hope to see you again."

"Same here. The pleasure was mine." Anna held her hand out to the social worker, who took it in hers. Sandy was pleasantly surprised by the firm handshake. She had expected the grip to be more… well, prissy.

Lily watched her friend and turned again to face the dark-haired woman. She remembered how troubled Anna had been when they were trapped, how determined she was to work through it, and how she had vowed to "stop beating up" both her husband and herself. What could have gone wrong? Taking Anna’s hands in her own, Lily tried to find the right words to support her friend. "I’m so sorry things didn’t work out."

"Who says they didn’t?" Anna straightened to her full height and smiled. "I’ve always believed that things happen as they should. This is better for everyone." All of this was true, she was certain.

   "Sweetheart, you can’t mean this! You’re emotional. This has been a horrible ordeal," Scott had argued, when his wife had stated her intentions to divorce him. The handwriting had been on the wall, though. He had been hopeful that this trial would bring them back together, and was bitterly disappointed when Anna returned to the guest room upon arriving home from the hospital.

Anna had called her lawyer as soon as Scott left for his office the following day. By that afternoon, the details were settled, and she’d announced her decision and presented Scott with an equitable financial settlement. Defeated, Scott refused a scenario that involved Anna moving out, so she requested that he remove his belongings as soon as was feasible. She would stay with her sister until he was relocated.

"I know it seems trite to say this, Scott, but a part of me will always love you. I have forgiven you for Sarah. I don’t want you to carry that burden. Your son is a precious gift, not a mistake. I believe in my heart that you belong with him, and perhaps even with his mother, but that’s up to you to decide. I only know that I don’t belong with you. It just isn’t what I want. I’m sorry."

Scott was gone by the end of the week. The large four-bedroom house was quiet, but no more so than it had been for the past few months. Anna slowly reclaimed her life, still working long hours, but spending more time now with her family. Breaking the news to acquaintances and business associates was sometimes uncomfortable, but it wasn’t humiliating, as she had feared.

"Then I’m glad it’s worked out for you," Lily said sincerely. Anyone who would let you get away is an idiot.

Anna studied her friend’s face and found no sign of reproach. "Listen, I’m joining my sister and her husband tonight for dinner to sort of… well, to celebrate a fresh start. How about coming with us? I really want them to meet you."

"Sure! I’d love to," the blonde said eagerly. I hope that wasn’t too eager.

"That’s wonderful! They can finally put a face on the woman I’ve talked so much about." Anna reached into her Gucci purse and retrieved a business card and a pen. "Here’s my number. Don’t lose it this time!" she teased, as she jotted her cell phone number on the back.

Lily reached into her own briefcase and passed Anna a card, also scribbling her home number. "Here, my cell phone is on here. So, what are the plans for dinner?"

"We have eight o’clock reservations at Empyre’s in Beverly Hills. It’s a Greek place, one of my favorite restaurants. If you want, we can pick you up."

"No, that’s okay. It would probably be easier if I met you there."

"If you’re sure?" Lily nodded. "The reservation is under Philips. That’s my brother-in-law."

"Okay, then I’ll see you at eight," Lily said. She looked at Anna again, and without a trace of awkwardness, took her again in a mighty hug. "I’ve got to go. I’ve got to be back in court soon, and I need to eat first so they don’t fine me for making too much noise with my stomach," she joked. Pausing for a moment, she looked happily at her friend and added, "It’s really good to see you again, Anna."

"I feel the same way."

*  *  *

"I don’t have anything to wear to a place like that!" Lily shrieked. "I’ll make a fool of myself. ‘I’d like you to meet my friend Lily from Hooterville,’" she mocked herself. Lily had visited Empyre’s web site and explored the menu. Entrees started at forty bucks, and there was that condescending footnote, ‘Proper attire required’.

Lauren watched her co-worker pace back and forth in the cramped office. "You know, you’re really getting yourself worked up. It’s just dinner with a friend. It’s not like it’s a date or anything." She waited…”Is it?"

"Of course not!" Lily plopped down in her treasured Aeron armchair and sighed. "I just want to make a good impression." She fingered the embossed business card. "Anna Kaklis. Vice-President, Premier Motors." She was starting to get a grip on who Anna was. "She doesn’t just sell cars. Her family probably owns the place. BMWs, for crying out loud!"

It wasn’t that Lily was a stranger to people who had money. After all, she’d grown up in the Silicon Valley, where even teenagers drove expensive foreign cars. But as the daughter of a school teacher, Lily was unaccustomed to such opulence. It was just another thing that separated her from her peers. That said, she wouldn’t have traded her comfortable life with Eleanor for all the money in the world. When Lily finished law school near the top of her class, she was recruited by several firms who promised high earnings and a great potential for partnership. Still, she couldn’t see herself living that kind of life - taking cases based solely on the amount of revenue they generated for the partners. This young attorney, mentored by Katharine Fortier, "champion of the downtrodden," wanted to give something back, and the Braxton Street Law Clinic was a perfect match. It wasn’t that she scorned those who made a better living; she just didn’t aspire to that for herself.

So why am I feeling so inadequate all of a sudden? "I’d like to think we could be friends some day," she said to Lauren. "Really good friends. But I’m not sure we have all that much in common." Lily’s friends didn’t drive Beamers. They were social workers, teachers, nurses, therapists, and other young lawyers like herself.

"Look, it’s just dinner, right?" Lauren asked. Lily nodded. "So why don’t you go out and splurge a little on a new dress? It’s not like you’re going to break the bank. It’s just one dress. I say go for it."

Lily voiced her doubt but she had already decided that Lauren was right. She really wanted to look good tonight. She talked her fellow attorney into getting a head start on the weekend by taking a side trip to Bloomingdale’s on the way home. A mere $1,312 dollars later, she was slipping on the brand new black heels that matched her new black bag, that matched the simple black sleeveless shimmery dress that she wore under the lightweight black and tan wool jacket. She withdrew from a box under her bed the small diamond earrings she had received from Katharine’s estate upon her death. She smiled wryly at the image that stared back from the full-length mirror. Okay, so I look good!

Lily almost laughed at the incongruity between her attire and her ride. When she spotted the parking valet at the restaurant, she decided to park the battered SUV in a public garage and walk the remaining two blocks.

It was 8:02 when she entered the restaurant. An attendant traded a small blue claim check for her wrap, and the maitre d’ directed her to the bar where her companions were already waiting. Suddenly very nervous, the blonde checked her reflection once again in the foyer’s mirror. Taking a deep breath, she walked tentatively through the entry. It’s not like it’s a date, she reminded herself.

The tall woman was seated facing the doorway so that she could easily spot her friend. The three were nursing their first round, having arrived early at Anna’s suggestion so that Lily wouldn’t have to wait for them in an unfamiliar place. She was taken aback by the elegant sight of the attorney as she entered the dimly lit room. She looks lovely, Anna thought. She rose from her chair and waved her friend to their table.

"I’m so glad you could come. I love that dress!" Anna said excitedly.

Worth every penny and then some! Lily thought fleetingly about pilfering the money she had been saving for a down payment on a house and spending every last dime on cocktail dresses at Bloomingdale’s. "Thank you. I’m glad I could make it too. Thanks again for asking me."

Lily had expected Anna to be beautiful in her evening attire, but she wasn’t ready for the sight that beheld her. The stunning woman wore a deep burgundy strapless cocktail dress, the lines of her collarbone prominent against the creamy white skin. She had swept her thick raven hair into a French twist, and her ears sparkled with diamonds that made Lily’s earrings look like chips.

"Kim, Hal, I’d like for you to meet my dear friend, Lily Stuart. Lily, this is my sister Kim Philips, and her wonderful-but-stilted husband, Hal." Whenever they were together, the sisters teased the good-natured bean counter about his conservative demeanor, often referring to him as "Hal Gore." He and Kim had been high school sweethearts and had eloped during their junior year at Berkeley. He was the perfect foil to Kim’s vivacious personality, and Anna loved him like a brother.

Hal stood to take Lily’s outstretched hand, shooting an accusatory glare at his sister-in-law before breaking into a broad grin. "Nice to meet you, Lily. Anna’s been talking about you ever since the earthquake."

She has, has she? Lily stored this tidbit to relish later.

"Indeed she has," Kim joined in. The attractive red-head surprised everyone by drawing Lily into a fierce hug. "Thank you for saving my sister," she whispered, her voice filled with emotion.

The blonde nearly lost her own composure when she pulled back and noticed tears brimming in the hazel eyes. "I can see that I’m going to have to set the record straight on who saved whom. Your sister was my hero that day, too."

Dinner was the most fun Lily had had in ages. Following Anna’s lead, she ordered the swordfish and a small salad, noting that her entire food budget for the week was going into this meal. I’ll worry about that tomorrow… at Tara.

The two friends took turns recalling details about their ordeal, each giving credit to the other at every opportunity. Both of them blushed when Kim dubbed the pair "the mutual admiration society." Embarrassed a bit at this obvious truth, Anna redirected the discussion to fill them in on her day in court.

It was the first time she had seen Scott since he had moved out, though they had talked on the phone a few times. It was awkward for a moment, but Anna had initiated a light hug that brought a small smile to the man’s face. "I wish you all the best, Scott. I mean that," she had said. He returned the sentiment, sincerely she thought, and the rest was lawyer business. "So if you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you to join me in a toast to a really nice guy."

"To Scott," Hal said, raising his wine glass. He had genuinely liked his brother-in-law. The glasses clinked, and the foursome took a sip in unison.

"To Anna," Kim added, "for knowing when to look forward instead of back," raising her glass again.

Anna gave her sister an unmistakable look of love. "Thank you," she said quietly, touching her sister’s glass and pressing against it for a long thoughtful moment. Though not related by blood, the two were as close as twins, each seeming to know the soul of the other. As strong as Anna appeared on the outside, Kim knew that her sister struggled with important decisions, afraid of making mistakes that others would scrutinize. Without continuing support from the people who loved her, Kim feared that Anna’s failed marriage might seriously undermine her confidence in matters of the heart. She so wanted her sister to find the kind of love she shared with Hal. Kim had kept to herself the fact that she saw no such devotion between Anna and Scott. As painful as the parting was for Anna, Kim was glad to see her sister starting anew.

"To Anna," Lily and Hal chimed in, ending the poignant moment.

As the tuxedoed waiter began clearing their plates, Lily’s thoughts were invaded by the irrational fear that she had lettuce stuck in her teeth. Excusing herself, she made her way to the ladies room.

"Your friend certainly doesn’t look like a lesbian," Hal started.

Both women stared at the man incredulously, then at one another to see who would bop him first. Kim won, and she smacked her husband’s shoulder. "I’m surprised at you, Hal. Just because people could make you as an accountant from across the room doesn’t meant that everyone else should fit a stereotype."

Hal realized his gaffe and knew he would soon be getting a second dose of discipline from his sister-in-law. She did not disappoint. "You know Hal, I have several friends who are gay, and I wouldn’t have known at all if they hadn’t told me. My hairdresser is probably the most flamboyant man on the face of the earth, and he’s married with two children. I’ve heard it said that if all the gay people in the world were to turn blue tomorrow, we’d be surprised to find that those stereotypes don’t fit at all," she scolded.

"Stereotypes?" The three were startled that Lily had returned so quickly. Clean teeth.

"Yeah, it happens to me all the time at work," Anna covered quickly. "I was telling them about an incident on the lot yesterday. The sales staff was in at 6:30 in the morning for training on next year’s features. Just after seven, this guy drove up in a ’97 Mitsubishi Eclipse, Special Edition and started looking at the 530i." Anna knew cars. "I walked out and asked if he had any questions, and he said ‘No, I already know probably as much as you do about the car.’" Her voice deepened and her head bobbed back and forth as she mocked him.

"Right, like he knows more than my sister with the mechanical engineering degree," Kim interjected.

"So then he said he wanted to make an offer on the car, and asked me to go get the manager. I explained to him that the manager was in a meeting, and assured him that I could handle the transaction. But he insisted, so I dragged Brad - he’s our sales manager - out of the meeting to talk to him. They hammered out a price, but Brad said he needed the owner’s okay - which wasn’t true, but Brad wanted to jerk his chain - then he paged me to his office to look over the deal. You should have seen the look on the man’s face when I walked back in."

Lily processed this wealth of information on her new friend, mechanical engineering degree, owner. "So what did you do?"

"Oh, I approved it. Brad doesn’t give cars away. But we both had quite a laugh about it when the guy left. And I met the guy again and gave him the overview when he came back to pick up his new car. But the fun part was that I told him everything about the engine in excruciating detail, and told him to stop me if he already knew it. Of course, he didn’t." Her companions laughed at the image, all wishing they could have been flies on the wall.

The waiter returned at that moment to offer coffee and dessert. He was back soon with four baklava, two black decafs and two espressos.

"So what part of town do you live in, Lily?" Kim inquired.

"Sun Valley."

"Do you have a house? A condo?"

"Uh-oh! Kim’s putting on her real estate hat." Hal chided his wife.

"I am not! I just wanted to know," she whined.

"Actually, I live in an apartment. It’s in a prime location, convenient to public transportation. I learned after moving in that that means it’s directly underneath the flight path for Burbank," she joked. "I’ve been saving for a down payment on a house, but every time I get ready to look, prices jump again, and I have to save a little more."

"Well, at the risk of being accused of doing business at dinner," she shot a sidelong glance at her husband, "give me a call if you want some help on finding something. I sometimes get a heads-up on new listings before they go on the market." She fished a business card from her purse and passed it across the table.

"Wow, thanks! I will. Hal, I don’t suppose you have any ideas for making my modest savings account explode into a fortune in a few short weeks, do you?"

"I wish!" Hal reached over and covered his wife’s hand with his own. "I hate to be a party pooper, but I’m about ready to call it a night."

"He has a date with his boat in the morning," Kim whispered conspiratorially.

Neither Anna nor Lily was ready for the evening to end, but both stood and gathered their things. It was then that the party discovered that the car dealer had already discreetly paid their check. She declined their offers to pitch in, so they thanked her for her generosity.

While the women waited for their wraps, Hal exited to order their car. Kim offered, "Lily, you should give Hal your ticket too. He’ll get your car while we wait."

"Mine’s in the garage around the corner. There was a line for the valet, and I was worried about being late, so I just parked it myself," she lied.

"How would you feel about dropping me at home?" Anna asked suddenly. "I live pretty close. That way, you won’t have to walk to the garage by yourself."

Do I let this beautiful woman see the piece of shit I drive, or do I want this night to be over? Wishing she had time to buy a new car first, Lily answered, "I’d be happy to."

Bidding goodnight to Kim and Hal, the pair began the short walk to the garage. Noticing a slight limp in her companion, Lily gestured toward Anna’s leg and asked, "So is that a souvenir from the earthquake?"

"Yeah, it was in pretty bad shape for a while, but I worked with a physical therapist and then a personal trainer. It’s so much better now than it was. In fact, I’m probably stronger now all over than I was back in February." Lily concurred, noting the sinewy muscles in the woman’s shoulders and arms. "But I’m not the only one with a souvenir." Anna reached out and gently traced the small red scar above the attorney’s left eye.

"Well, that’s getting better too. It was bright red for a long time."

"All in all, we were both pretty lucky, I’d say," the tall woman said.

"Definitely." Meeting you was the lucky part.

Approaching the worn out RAV4, Lily prepared her passenger for the sight. "When I was in the hospital after the earthquake, one of my comforts was that I had heard that the parking garage had collapsed. I was looking forward to collecting the insurance money and getting a new car." Lily unlocked and opened the driver’s door, then reached across the front seat to roll down the passenger window. "But as luck would have it," she continued, "mine was one of only three cars that escaped unscathed." She then walked around the car and reached through the window giving the door handle a hard yank as she leaned back. Anna stepped up into the passenger seat, and Lily slammed the door.

"Well, at the risk of sounding a lot like my sister, I sell cars." Anna winked at her, and Lily thought she would melt.

PART 6

"I COULDN’T BELIEVE it either! Mom, she is so nice. And she’s smart and successful. I hope you have the chance to meet her the next time you come down." Lily had been going on about the car dealer for nearly thirty minutes, recounting as many details as she could remember of her meeting with Anna at the courthouse and at dinner last night. "No, we haven’t really made any plans to get together again, but I think we will. I think we just sort of clicked." Lily walked from her bedroom out to her balcony and sat down in the sun. "No, not that way. Aren’t you listening, Mom? She’s straight. But I think we’ll be great friends."

Eleanor had always been both mother and best friend to her daughter. Though she had warded off the cruelty of the younger schoolchildren, she had been powerless to stop the heartbreak when a supposed friend from Lily’s high school had broken a confidence and told their classmates that Lily was gay. The vicious taunting that followed had driven a wedge between Lily and her peers and the teenager simply withdrew from social activities. She concentrated on her studies and spent more time with adult friends, like Katharine. It was then that Katharine first told Lily that she too was a lesbian. That revelation was a godsend to the confused young girl as she learned by example to accept and love herself without guilt or shame. And over the years, Eleanor could not have been more supportive, offering her shoulder each time Lily had her heart torn in two.

"I’ll come up to see you soon, I promise." Lily stood to return the phone to its cradle for recharging. "Love you too. Goodbye."

Lily loved her work, but weekends were a guilty pleasure. She usually managed to take care of things like cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping and errands by mid-afternoon on Saturday. That left Saturday night for socializing, often dinner with Sandy and Suzanne or with Lauren and her husband, Jason. On Sundays, Lily was outside as much as possible. Her favorite pastime was hiking, and though she preferred long walks alone, she wisely adhered to the adage of safety in numbers. When she couldn’t find a companion, she usually opted to hit the popular trails in the San Gabriel Mountains, where she encountered dozens of hikers, bikers and cross-country runners.

Sandy had called first thing this morning to invite her to a cookout tonight at their Sherman Oaks home. She and Suzanne were eager to hear about her evening with Anna and her family, and she was looking forward to the retelling.

Lily was running out the door when her phone rang. Her heart skipped a beat as she recognized on her caller ID the number she had memorized from Anna’s business card. "Hello, this is Lily," she answered nervously.

"Hi, it’s Anna." Such a nice voice!

"Well hi yourself, Amazon. What are you up to? Six feet?"

"Funny girl." Anna didn’t mind at all the teasing from her diminutive friend. "I’m still at work. What about you?"

"I’m heading out to dinner at Sandy’s. You remember my friend from the courthouse?"

"Of course, the social worker. She seems like a nice person."

"Yeah, we’ve been good friends for about five years."

"Listen, the reason I was calling was to see if you had any interest in going to the Dodgers game tomorrow. My account manager at the LA Times sent me two tickets to their skybox."

"The skybox?" Lily asked, working hard to contain her eagerness.

"Yes, you know. Their corporate suite. We spend a lot of money on advertising, and they pass on tickets to things from time to time."

"Are you kidding? I’d love to!"

"Great! It starts at one. What if I come by and pick you up about 12:15?"

"Are you sure you don’t mind? I could meet you somewhere, or I could come by and get you."

"No, that’s okay. Just give me your address. I have a GPS in the car, I’ll just punch it in." Anna wasn’t eager to fold her long frame into the mini-SUV again. If they encountered heavy traffic, her injured knee would protest vehemently at the cramped position.

"A GPS? Cool! If you’re sure." Lily gave her address, and told Anna where she should park at the complex to avoid the wrath of the Parking Lot Nazi, the elderly neighbor in the adjacent building who didn’t even own a car. "Listen, I’ve never been in a skybox before. What should I wear?"

"Well, they’re a little stiff. Hal would fit right in," the car dealer joked. "I usually wear slacks or khakis and a nice shirt."

Lily’s mind immediately went to her wardrobe as she mentally dressed herself six times. This exercise always saved her at least two rounds of tossing clothes about the room as she ruled things out. "I can’t wait. See you at 12:15. Oh, and Anna?"

"Yes?"

"It’s seven o’clock on Saturday night. Go home."

"Funny girl. Have a good time tonight. Tell Sandy I said hello."

"I will. Thanks for calling." She hung up and dashed out the door, giddy with excitement.

Twenty minutes later, she was pulling into the driveway of her friends’ California ranch home. She could smell the burning charcoal as soon as she stepped from her car, so she followed the path around the garage to the redwood deck. Suzanne was tending the grill, and she could hear Sandy in the kitchen. "I brought wine!" she announced, holding up Sandy’s favorite Coppola merlot. Lily greeted her friends in the usual manner, like they hadn’t seen each other in months.

As expected, Lily’s report on her dinner at Empyre’s dominated the dinner conversation. Sandy and Suzanne had lots of questions, and they were genuinely glad that their friend had reconnected with the woman she met during her earthquake ordeal.

When dinner and dishes were done, they returned to the deck for a soak in the Jacuzzi. In the darkness, the three friends shed their clothes and slipped into the warm churning water. "Lily, I sure wish you could meet a lesbian that lit your fire like Anna has," Sandy started.

"You and me both, my friend," Lily replied, realizing too late what she had just admitted.

"She’s straight, Lily," Suzanne warned. "You need to be careful, or she’ll break your heart."

"She’s my friend, Suzanne," the blonde said defensively. "I don’t have any expectations that she’ll be anything else. It’s just that we went through something together that changed our lives. I feel a very special bond with her, and I want to know her better. Does that automatically have to mean a sexual attraction?"

"No, of course not," Sandy reassured. "We just don’t want to see you hurt, but it sounds like you’ve got the right perspective. Neither of us meant any offense."

"That’s okay. None taken." Lily was grateful for her two friends, even when they were overprotective. "Thanks for worrying about me."

Soon after they toweled off and dressed, Lily bade her friends goodnight and went home to try on clothes.

*  *  *

The two women showed their tickets at the gate and made their way to the escalator that would take them to the concourse for the lower level suites. As promised, Anna was wearing black tailored slacks and a light blue sleeveless silk shirt. Her hair was pulled back and tied with a thin strip of black leather, and a lightweight cream-colored sweater hung loosely around her shoulders to ward off the chill of the air conditioner in the suite. A native to southern California, Anna hated to be cold.

Lily wore Gap khakis with a short-sleeved forest green sweater. It was the sixteenth combination that she had tried. It wasn’t that this one was the best; rather it was the one she had on when her doorbell rang at 12:10.

Lily was duly impressed with Anna’s luxurious black 745i, especially the global positioning system. From her passenger seat, she assessed the multitude of gauges that gave the appearance that the car drove itself. "You’d have to be pretty smart to drive a car like this," she joked.

"Not a problem," the dark-haired woman replied dryly.

When they entered the suite, they were greeted by a handsome man in gray slacks and a starched white shirt. "Anna! It’s great to see you. Glad you could make it!"

"Thank you. Steve, I’d like you to meet my friend, Lilian Stuart. Lily, this is Steve French. Steve is my account manager at the Times, and our host for today."

"I’m really pleased to meet you. Thanks so much for the invitation." Lily couldn’t help but notice that Steve had hardly glanced her way, his eyes glued to her beautiful friend.

"So Anna, where is Scott today?" Were the rumors true?

"That I wouldn’t know, Steve. Scott and I have divorced," she said unceremoniously.

Bingo! "I’m sorry to hear that, Anna." He wasn’t really. In fact, it was all he could do not to blurt out ‘You seeing anyone?’

"Thank you, Steve. I appreciate that. It was a friendly parting." She had learned that sharing that with acquaintances usually put them at ease. Steve led them to their seats on the front row of the suite just in time for the National Anthem.

Anna has a beautiful voice, Lily thought when the song finished. The blonde resisted the urge to pinch herself. Here she was in a luxury suite at Dodger Stadium, sitting beside the most beautiful woman in LA. Her friends’ words of caution from the night before crept into her head for a moment, but she reminded herself that she and Anna were just getting to know each other, on their way to a deep, lasting friendship.

Lily was pleasantly surprised to find that Anna knew her stuff when it came to the Dodgers. They talked about players, trades, strategies and statistics, all to the consternation of Steve French, who badly wanted Anna’s attention.

"I think someone has his eye on you," Lily whispered.

"Oh yeah? He’s a handsome guy, don’t you think?"

"Yeah, I guess," Lily shrugged, feigning exaggerated boredom. "If you go for that trim and muscular, square jaw with deep set eyes thing. Not really my type, though."

"So what is your type, Ms. Stuart?" Anna wasn’t sure why she’d asked, but she found herself profoundly interested in Lily’s response.

You are - God, please don’t let me have said that out loud! "You mean apart from my gender specifications?"

"Well, I’d say that’s a given, unless you’ve decided to swing back the other way."

"Not a chance. I go for smart first, then a sense of humor. Outer beauty means little to me," Lily said haughtily.

"Yeah, and I like ugly cars too."

*  *  *

"Lilian Stuart," the lawyer said, picking up the phone on her desk.

"So how did you know he was going to call?"

"Anna! I’m fine. Thank you for asking," Lily ragged on her friend.

"Funny girl. I just got a call from Steve French inviting me to go to San Diego next Saturday for the first game of the Dodgers’ road trip."

Lily knew this was going to happen, and she didn’t like it one bit. She had overheard the arrogant prick bragging to his buddy at the game that he could get Anna to go out with him. Something about his tone suggested that he was definitely interested in more than just a date. But who wouldn’t be? Anna is irresistible. "So what was your reply? I suppose you fell for the line about having the chance to get to know each other better on the drive down." It was meant to be teasing, but it came out as sarcasm.

Anna was taken aback at her friend’s response. "What’s that about, Lily? It sounds like you don’t like Steve much."

I’m so screwed! Lily thought about coming clean about what she had overheard, but it occurred to her that Anna might well be interested in Steve’s advances. "No, Steve is very nice. I was just teasing. Welcome back to the world of dating. I always keep my ears open for what lines work best on women," she kidded, hoping that would cover her faux pas.

The women tried to work out getting together one night during the week for a quick dinner, but their schedules wouldn’t meet. Lily usually prepped for court appearances the night before and this was a particularly busy week with three cases on the docket. Anna would be with her family celebrating her father’s 58th birthday on the only night the lawyer was available. They agreed to reconnect after the weekend to see if they could get together next week.

*  *  *

For his 58th birthday, George Kaklis asked to have his birthday dinner outside on the patio. His very best memories were of the times the family had eaten, laughed and played around the pool in the backyard. He wanted "something simple, like we used to do when the kids were all at home." Trouble was, "simple" to his wife, Martine, was having a caterer shop, prepare, serve and clean up. Even so, she was always happy to do things for her family, and especially glad to help make George’s birthday a special one.

The second Mrs. Kaklis now stood in the kitchen, dutifully sorting ingredients for Turkish pilaf and stuffed baked tomatoes. Six top sirloin steaks marinated on the top rack of the industrial model refrigerator in the expansive kitchen. Hal and David had agreed to do the honors at the grill, while Kim and Anna would prepare the dinner salad. Martine had picked up the large, elaborately decorated cake earlier in the day.

When they finished dinner, Hal and Anna cleared the table and returned to the patio for birthday cake and presents. "So what is everyone doing this weekend?" the patriarch asked. He was genuinely interested in the lives of his family members.

"Going out on the boat," said Hal cheerfully.

"Going out on the boat," Kim groaned.

"Going out on the boat?" David pleaded for an invitation.

"Going out on the boat!" Hal extended it, nodding at his teenage brother-in-law.

"Going out on the boat?" begged Kim, turning to her sister.

"Sorry. Not going out on the boat. I’m going with Steve French to the Dodgers game in San Diego."

"You’re going out with Steve French?" George asked, obviously surprised. "I don’t think he’s for you, dear. Maybe you should consider waiting a while before you start dating again." The elder Kaklis had always been protective of Anna, even overprotective when it came to her dates or friends. He had thought Scott the perfect match for his daughter, and was distressed when they divorced, unaware of his son-in-law’s breach.

Through the years, Anna had found it easier to defer to her father’s judgment than to deal with his disappointment. Her father’s approval of Scott had been the deciding factor when she accepted his marriage proposal. "It’s not really a date, Dad. I went last week to their skybox for the Reds game, and he knows what a Dodgers fan I am." Fine, I just won’t think of it as a date.

He would try a new tack. "I don’t know, darling. After all, he is our account manager. You don’t want to mix business and pleasure."

"Oh for goodness sakes, Dad! Anna isn’t going to run off and elope." Like Hal and I did, she left unsaid. "I swear, you’d have us both still living at home if you had your way." Kim rescued her sister with a little levity.

Anna laughed and stood up quickly to gather the cake plates. Kim had created a slim opening and she wasn’t going to miss it. "Mother, could you grab those two plates?" Anna disappeared into the kitchen with Martine. "Don’t let him worry too much, okay?"

"I’ll deal with him if he brings it up again. You just go have fun. It’ll do you good to get out." Martine was used to running interference for the girls. She only wished George would pay as much attention to her as he did to the children and that goddamned dealership.

*  *  *

Lily stretched across the couch to grab the phone, not taking her eyes off UCLA’s gridiron battle with the Stanford Cardinal. Fresh from her shower after cleaning the house and washing her pathetic car, she now wore an oversized long blue and yellow jersey that boasted her alma mater. Her beloved Bruins were already up 7-0 in the first quarter.

"Hello?"

"So how did you know that Steve French was a creep?"

Football flew right out of her head as she recognized her friend’s voice. "Hi Anna. I’m fine. Thanks for asking."

"Funny girl." It had become her standard reply. "Let me be your tour guide for the landmark Hotel del Coronado in San Diego. We’re here in the mahogany trimmed ladies room off the Del’s main lobby, admiring the polished brass fixtures adorning the ornately carved marble sinks."

"What on earth are you doing in the bathroom at the Del?"

"Such a personal question!" Anna said with mock indignation. "Steve suggested the Del for dinner, and I stopped in here to wash up." The rest of her tale left the lawyer in disbelief.

   Anna exited the washroom to find Steve standing with his back to her at the hotel’s registration desk. Pocketing something from the desk clerk, he walked out to the balcony to wait for her.

With a queasy feeling, Anna approached the counter and asked the clerk, "That gentleman who was just here, did he register for the night?"

"I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t give out that information."

Drawing a fifty dollar bill from her purse and passing it discreetly across the counter, she explained to the young woman, "I’m here with that man on our first date, and I would like to know what he has in mind."

A look of understanding crossed the clerk’s face, and she gently pushed Anna’s hand back across the counter, not taking the bill. "Yes, he got a single room with a king-sized bed. And a bottle of champagne."

Anna lurched on the last remark. "Thank you."

Though already jaded regarding Steve French, Lily couldn’t believe how pompous the guy actually was. "What an arrogant jerk!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah. I was going to fake a migraine, but I may not have to fake it after all. I’m thinking about renting a car and driving home."

"You get migraines?"

"Sometimes."

Lily imagined her friend hiding out at the Del. "What if I drove down and picked you up? I could be there in about two and a half hours."

Anna protested, but secretly, she loved the idea of riding back to LA with the woman who always made her laugh. Even in the tiny RAV4. Lily further prodded her friend to think about it, even as she walked upstairs to pull on her jeans and change into a rust-colored knit sweater.

"Well, I can’t stay in the restroom for two and half hours." Anna had decided what she would do. "So I’ll be in the lobby at nine o’clock. Are you sure, Lily? That’s a lot of driving."

Lily confirmed her offer, telling Anna that she was ready now to head out the door. The dark-haired woman exited the restroom in search of her date. The direct approach, right between the eyes, she decided. Finding the man on the breezy balcony above the restaurant, she began, "Steve, when I was coming out of the ladies room earlier, I saw you picking up a room key."

Busted! "Oh," he stammered, "I thought you might want to freshen up after dinner." That could work, he thought stupidly.

Four hundred dollars a night to freshen up? "I have to tell you Steve, that makes me very uncomfortable. I’ve already called someone to pick me up. And I’m going to be having dinner alone tonight." He protested at first, but when it suddenly occurred to him that he had just offended one of the paper’s most important advertisers, he managed to voice a humble apology. It was too soon to tell if this would damage their working relationship.

Lily pulled into the valet circle at 8:50. "I’m just here to pick someone up," she told the young man in the pith helmet who had moved to take her keys. Less than a minute later, she emerged with her tall friend in tow.

On the ride home, Anna confessed that she was nursing a small headache, and requested that Lily carry the conversation. She reclined her seat slightly and asked to hear all about the attorney’s family, her friends, her work, and the things she liked to do. Lily answered with the story of her precarious start in life. With the love evident in her voice, she described how Eleanor and Katharine had helped her to become the person she was today. She then went on to talk about the Braxton Street Law Clinic, about Tony and Lauren, and the work they did with underprivileged families.

Anna was fascinated and intrigued by the tale. She understood now that the grit and determination she had seen in this remarkable woman during their underground ordeal was not something Lily had called up to answer their desperate need. Rather, it was an integral part of who she was.

She began to tell Lily about the presentation on youth programs she had seen at the Chamber of Commerce meeting the morning of the earthquake, and about her desire to do something for kids. As she spoke, though, she realized that her small headache was indeed turning into a full-blown migraine and she begged off the rest of the conversation until another time. The last hour was logged in companionable silence, Anna dozing when she could, and Lily lost in thought about the feelings she knew were growing for the beautiful woman. When she realized where her thoughts were headed, she mentally cautioned herself.

"Anna? We’re here." Lily gently shook her friend’s arm. Her arm feels so clammy. "Are you okay? What can I do?"

Anna sat up and pressed two fingers from her right hand onto her right eyebrow, directly above her eye where her worst migraines formed. She barely noticed her aching leg as she stepped from the car. "It’s a big one. I think I’m going to be sick," was all she said.

Lily helped the tall woman into the house, sticking close by all the way to her bedroom. As she had predicted, Anna was sick as soon as entered the adjoining bathroom. Lily wet a cloth and tenderly wiped her friend’s face as she slumped on the cool tile floor. "How can I help, Anna? Do you have medicine?"

Anna nodded slowly. "There’s a plastic jar on the door of the refrigerator. Can you bring it?"

"Of course." Lily found the medicine and returned to the bathroom with a small glass of water. "Here," she said, handing the jar to her friend.

Anna unscrewed the cap and removed one of the yellow capsules. Despite the awful headache, she couldn’t stop the smile that formed when she saw the offered glass. "Um… these are suppositories. They work faster."

"Oh." Lily could feel the heat rush up her chest to her face, and she knew that she was bright red with embarrassment. "I’ll just… uh, I’ll wait out here." She left the room, closing the door behind her.

When Anna emerged a few minutes later, she sat beside the blonde on the queen-sized bed. "I need to lie down now. The medicine will knock me out cold in about ten minutes."

"Do you want me to stay a while, until you’re asleep?"

"No, I’ll be okay." Anna withdrew a blue silk nightshirt from the bottom drawer of the nightstand. "There’s an extra key in the kitchen drawer under the phone. Take it, and lock up for me, okay?"

Lily nodded. "Can I give you a call tomorrow?" Anna agreed and began to unbutton her blouse. Lily felt her face go red again, and stood. "I hope you feel better." Nervously, she leaned forward and lightly kissed her friend’s forehead."

"Thank you, Lily. For everything." It was all she could do to get the words out, but she needed to show the attorney her gratitude for her friendship. It was indeed special, and Anna knew with a certainty that it would get stronger.

Alone in her car, Lily tried to recall if she had ever been more embarrassed in her entire life. She must have thought I was waiting around to watch her put it in! The image brought the deep blush back to her face and neck.

Her thoughts turned again to the attraction she was feeling for Anna, but she couldn’t bring herself to imagine closeness beyond that of best friends. She indeed wanted to be Anna’s very best friend, and to protect her from jerks like Steve French. That didn’t mean it was sexual attraction. They were just friends. .

PART 7

T HE BLONDE ATTORNEY was fuming! Tony had just told her that they had lost the foundation grant for Kidz Kamp, a community program that sponsored camping trips for children in foster care. What had Lily hopping mad was that the foundation had increased funding for the Boy Scouts. As a volunteer for Kidz Kamp, she was jealous, pure and simple. And she took it personally that the Scouts excluded gays from their ranks.

"Lilian Stuart," the blonde barked into her phone.

Whoa! Somebody’s having a bad day. "Hi, Lily. It’s Anna."

The lawyer sighed with exasperation. "I’m having such a shitty day!"

"Oh, I’m fine, and thanks for asking." Gotcha! The line went quiet and Anna wondered if her joke had come at the wrong time.

"Sorry," Lily finally said sheepishly. "I just got some unpleasant news, and my mind was there."

"Unpleasant news? What’s wrong?"

"Oh, it’s just a funding cut. In our line of work you get used to it. I didn’t mean to snap at you."

"It’s okay. I was calling to see if you’d be interested in an early lunch. I’m downtown for the Chamber of Commerce meeting, and we’ll be wrapping up a little after eleven."

"That would be great! I could use a friendly face." They firmed up their plans to meet at Lily’s office and walk to a nearby deli.

Eating lunch on a park bench, Lily told Anna all about Kidz Kamp. She and Tony were regular volunteers, along with staff from the county’s social services department and juvenile court. "The kids love it. The foster parents get a break. And all the volunteers get the chance to build trust and have fun with the kids we see on the job."

Anna was impressed that her friend was doing something so selfless and helpful to the community. Thinking back to the moving presentation she had seen, she felt shamed by the fact that she had failed to follow through. "I’m sorry, what did you say?"

"I said we’ve got a trip planned for next weekend if you’d like to join us. Right now, I’m the only female chaperone and we have three girls on the list to go. Please, please, please!" she asked excitedly.

"No, no, no! I don’t do sleeping on the ground. Or bugs. Or snakes." Anna was adamant. Camping was not her thing.

"But it’s fun!" pleaded Lily.

"Then I hope you have enough fun for both of us. Now if you ever need help taking them to a play or to a museum, sign me up. I’m just not…”

"You’re prissy," the lawyer teased.

"I’m not prissy, I’m… refined."

"You’re prissy."

*  *  *

The prissy Amazon had called later that day to invite Lily on a boat outing with Hal and Kim. Now Sunday morning, anxiety about her first boating trip weighed heavily on her mind as she waited for Anna to pick her up. When the long black car wheeled into the apartment complex, Lily stood to gather her things.

"Ready to go?" Anna asked cheerfully.

"You bet," was the excited reply. As Anna had instructed, Lily had filled her daypack with sunscreen, a warm jacket, and a change of clothes. At the bottom of the bag was a foiled-wrapped loaf of nut bread, her contribution to the food supply.

Hal and Kim had spent Saturday night on the boat, so they were ready for launch as soon as their passengers arrived. It was a little on the cool side as they set out, but it warmed up quickly as the sun climbed higher. The sisters sat on the cushions at the back–or stern, as Lily learned it was called–while the first-time boater rode shotgun, getting a lesson from Hal on the boat’s features.

"She’s a lot of fun," Kim said, gesturing at the blonde. "She’s making Hal’s day, asking all those questions. Do you think she’s just being nice, or is Hal really all that fascinating?"

"You think maybe we’ve misjudged the guy all these years?" the tall woman joked.

"Nah, couldn’t be. I think she’s just easily amused."

"Well, I’d worry about anyone who found Hal interesting."

Lily chose that moment to glance their way. When she realized that she and Hal were the subject of their amusement, she stuck out her tongue and turned her back haughtily. Fifteen minutes later, she was proudly driving the boat on her own.

"So what was so funny?" Hal demanded as he slid in beside his wife.

"We were trying to decide if Lily was really interested in your boat lesson or if she was just being nice." Kim slipped her arm through her husband’s to ease the potential blow to his ego.

"Well, I think it was both," he spouted indignantly.

Anna rose and moved to the tall "co-pilot" seat alongside her friend. The blonde was standing on her tiptoes, chin up, peering out over the shimmering blue plane.

"Having a little trouble seeing over the bow, Pygmy?"

"Will you still think you’re funny when we run a sail up your neck, Amazon?" Lily turned and nearly choked at the sight. Anna had taken off her shirt and shorts to reveal a plum colored two-piece bathing suit… and the most beautiful body the blonde had ever seen. Unable to look away, she took in Anna’s long shapely legs, well-toned shoulders and abs, and the curve of her… figure.

Anna was accustomed to being admired, though she had never marveled at her own features. "Good genes," she’d always told Scott. That changed however when she began working with Nikki, the personal trainer who took over after the physical therapy. Now as she stood beside the wheel, Anna was acutely aware that Lily was admiring her appearance. She was proud of her hard work, and liked knowing that her intense workouts had also earned her friend’s approval.

For her part, Lily more than approved. She knew she’d been caught staring, so she just went with it. "Wow, you’ve really been working out! You look great!"

Suddenly shy, Anna could only smile and look away. "The sun feels good. Did you bring your suit too?"

Lily had hers on underneath as well, but in the presence of this goddess, she was having second thoughts about sunbathing. How stupid would that be? She quickly discarded her shirt and shorts, hoping that she would pass muster in her aquamarine tankini.

Now it was Anna’s turn to stare, though the dark sunglasses hid her appraisal. How was it possible that this woman were actually smaller than she appeared? Lily had muscular legs, tapering at her hips to a tiny waist. Her shoulders and arms looked strong and lithe, and she was more well-endowed than she appeared in her suits and casual clothes. Wonder what she’d think if she knew I was looking at her breasts! For some reason, that realization amused more than embarrassed the tall woman, but she covered with a casual comment on Lily’s suit, and a warning not to get burned.

They cruised north along California’s picturesque coastline, turning back at mid-afternoon. As the sun began to fade, the two friends donned their clothes and jackets and Anna wrapped herself in a wool blanket from the cabin below. Seeing Lily shiver as the wind blew through her lightweight fleece, she held her arms open and invited her friend to huddle inside. When the small woman stepped in front, Anna closed the blanket around them both, instantly sparking a memory of pulling Lily close as she struggled for breath in the collapsed mall. A sense of panic suddenly invaded her, and she squeezed Lily tightly to her chest.

The blonde was lost in the sensation. Her rational mind told her that Anna was simply seeking warmth in the embrace, but she enjoyed for the moment imagining that it meant something more. I could get so used to this.

Once docked, Lily thanked her hosts profusely as all four pitched in to clean up their mess and wash the sea spray from the boat’s surfaces. "You’re welcome any time," Kim replied sincerely. She hoped that Lily’s interest would encourage her sister to come along more often. Kim couldn’t put her finger on why, but she certainly had a feeling she would be seeing more of this blonde.

Pulling up in front of the apartment, Anna exited the black car to help Lily with her things. "Thanks for coming with us. I really had fun, and so did Kim and Hal." With that, the two friends shared a friendly hug.

Something subtle had passed between the women today. Lily knew as she walked into her darkened apartment that she needed to keep her feelings in check. Anna was turning out to be all the things she wanted in a partner–kind, smart, funny… beautiful. Falling in love with a straight woman would get her heart broken for sure.

Driving toward her home in Bel Air, Anna pondered the unexpected feelings that surfaced when she held Lily close under the blanket. The moment had triggered some sort of protective instinct, and Anna enjoyed the sensation of warmth and closeness. It felt like… something had clicked, whatever that meant. She liked Lily a lot, and she wanted to get to know her better. She decided then to do something totally out of character.

*  *  *

"Lilian Stuart," the attorney answered enthusiastically, recognizing the number on her display.

"Good morning, Lily. How are you?" came the syrupy sweet voice.

"Hey, good for you, Amazon! You’re social skills are really coming along," she praised playfully.

"Don’t let it get out. We wouldn’t want others to raise their expectations."

"I’ll keep it just between us. What’s up? By the way, I really had a great time yesterday."

"Yeah, me too. I was wondering if… hypothetically speaking, of course… a person were to decide to go, say… camping, what sorts of camping equipment might that person… hypothetically require?"

Lily sat up, very excited at where this conversation seemed to be headed. "Well, one would probably need a sleeping bag, a mess kit, some good hiking boots, and a few odds and ends to enhance one’s comfort." She paused and added, "Hypothetically, of course."

"Of course. So if one were to… hypothetically… decide that she needed this equipment, how difficult do you think it would be to get someone’s help in picking out the right things?"

"Oh, I think someone might be available on Wednesday night to escort such a person to a conveniently located REI store for said items."

"6:30?"

"6:30 it is. And I’ll spring for the pizza afterwards."

*  *  *

"Tony, you got a minute?" Lily stood in the doorway of the managing partner’s office.

"Anytime. What’s up?" Tony LeFevre was one of Lily’s favorite people in the whole world. He and his brother Mike had started the Clinic ten years ago with a grant from the LA Minority Coalition. Lily never knew Mike, who died of AIDS the year before she joined the firm.

Tony was 36 years old, and a respected member of LA’s legal community. He wasn’t particularly handsome, but he had that charm that most women found irresistible. He treated everyone with respect, and he loved kids.

"I have a favor to ask," she started awkwardly. "You remember my friend Anna, the woman from the earthquake who came by for lunch last week?"

"Are you kidding? A man doesn’t forget someone like that." Tony had considered asking his co-worker how she would feel about him asking her friend out.

"Yeah, that’s kind of where I was going." The blonde paused to consider her words. "She’s going to be coming along this weekend on the Kidz Kamp trip. I was wondering if you’d mind… not flirting with her, or asking her out or anything."

That settles that, he thought. "Of course, if that’s what you want. Are you… interested in her?"

"Oh no, it isn’t that," Lily quickly assured. "It’s just that we’re getting to be really good friends, and I wouldn’t want anything to… complicate that."

"No problem, my friend."

"Thanks." She returned to her office, knowing that if she had been straight, Tony would definitely have been her type.

*  *  *

The RAV4 picked its way along the wooded road until they reached the campsite. Tony and two other men were working with the boys to unload the tents and set up the cooking supplies. They moved hurriedly, as darkness was falling, and it was important to everyone’s sense of comfort to have a hot meal on the first night in camp.

The trip to Silverwood Lake, north of San Bernardino, had taken nearly three hours, most of that spent navigating LA traffic to exit the city. This was their favorite site. It had all of the things kids liked to do–fishing, swimming, hiking, and canoeing. To Anna’s relief, there were even restrooms close to the campsite.

The dark-haired woman had grown more and more apprehensive as they drove further from the city. After the shopping trip with Lily, she had come to terms with leaving behind the comforts of home. What had her on edge today were the three girls in the back seat. Rosa and Carlotta were 11-year-old twins who giggled and whispered to each other in Spanish. Lateisha, a nine-year-old African-American girl, kept to herself, staring out the window lost in thought. Lily engaged all of the girls in occasional dialogue, asking about school, their friends, and things they liked to do. Anna, the mechanical engineer who lived in Bel Air and sold luxury cars, couldn’t think of how to relate, so like Lateisha, she too retreated in silence.

Sensing her friend’s nervousness, Lily suggested that Anna and Lateisha unload the supplies from the back of the SUV while she and the twins set up the tent the five would share for the next two nights. Though hesitant to be alone with this quiet child, Anna was glad to be doing something other than just sitting. "Have you ever been camping before?" she asked the little girl.

Lateisha simply shook her head no.

"Well, this is my first time too. I guess we both have a lot to learn this weekend." When the girl didn’t reply, Anna knew she would have to think of something more engaging. "How about giving me a hand with this cooler? It’s pretty heavy for just one person." Together, they hauled their load to where Tony had stacked the cooking supplies.

"Who’s your helper there?" Tony asked.

"This is Lateisha. She’s pretty strong for a nine-year-old. It’s a good thing, too, because I couldn’t lift this by myself," Anna praised. The small girl finally gave a shy smile, and the woman hoped she might break through after all.

"I can see how strong she is. If you need any extra help from me, just let me know."

"Oh, I think we’ll manage," said Anna. They headed back to the RAV4 to finish their task.

Anna met the other leaders, Jack and Matthew, while she worked to organize the cooking gear. Jack was an intake officer from the juvenile detention facility. Four of the six boys on this trip had darkened Jack’s door, having gotten in trouble over shoplifting, vandalism or fighting in school. The other man, Matthew, was Jack’s brother-in-law. Lily loved it when these two came along, because they always brought canoes.

Tony’s two charges, like the twins who came with Lily, were in foster placement, waiting for their parents to grow up. Lateisha was a special case.

Two hours after they arrived at their campsite, all the campers were relaxing around an open fire. Though their bellies were full with Tony’s excellent spaghetti, the allure of roasted marshmallows was too strong to resist. Two years ago, Lauren had insisted that the men share the cooking chores to set a positive example for the boys in the group. Grumbling, they conceded that she had a point. Lily and Anna were charged with breakfast for the next two days.

Shortly after ten, the children were sent into the tents to find their sleeping bags and settle down. The five adults planned the next day. Jack and Matthew wanted to take their boys fishing first thing, then hiking in the afternoon. The others opted to explore the nature trail in the morning, and swim in the afternoon if it warmed up. In mid-October, the temperature could go either way.

Crawling into their tent, Lily and Anna discovered that the twins had moved their sleeping bags to right side, while Lateisha had moved hers to the left. That left them to squeeze into the middle, side by side. Lily surprised her friend with a gift of a self-inflating air mattress. It wasn’t Grandma’s feather bed, but Anna found that the cushion took the edge off the hard ground.

As they settled in, Carlotta spilled her sister’s secret. "Rosa’s afraid of the dark."

Lily knew what that was like, and she tried to think of ways to reassure the girl. Anna nudged her and whispered into her ear. "That’s a good idea," Lily said to her friend. And so it was that Anna and Lily told the fascinated children their story of being trapped together in the mall, and finding their way out in the darkness. "I used to sleep with a light on at night, but since the earthquake, I haven’t needed it anymore," she finished.

Getting no reply, the pair realized that all three girls had fallen asleep. "Well, I certainly enjoyed hearing the story again," Anna whispered.

"Me too."

In the night, a small hand shook the tall woman awake. "I have to go the bathroom," Lateisha squeaked.

"So do I," Anna replied. "Will you go with me?"

"Okay," the little girl agreed.

Finding the flashlight and their shoes, the two walked quietly to the nearby restroom. Without a word, they took care of their business and made their way back to the tent. "Goodnight, Lateisha."

Several moments later, Anna heard a quiet "goodnight."

Lily awoke to voices outside the tent. She sat up to discover that she was alone, and the light streaming in through the flapping zipper told her it was morning whether she liked it or not. The sleepy camper tugged on her boots and crawled to the opening. She couldn’t believe the sight. Nine children and three grown men were lined up with their mess kits, each getting a heaping dose of oatmeal and brown sugar from the Amazon Chef. She hurriedly grabbed her kit and scrambled to the back of the line.

"Wow! Who does your hair?" Anna teased.

The suddenly self-conscious blonde reached up to flatten her locks as her friend presented her with a piping hot cup of coffee. "I suppose you crawl out of bed looking like Cinderella every morning," she challenged.

"Hardly… more like Sleeping Beauty." She winked at the blonde, who stuck out her tongue and looked for a place to sit.

Anna filled her own plate last, and sat next to Lateisha on a fallen log near the edge of the campsite. "You’re quiet this morning. What are you thinking about?"

The little girl shrugged. "Nothin’."

"Sometimes when something’s bothering me, it helps if I talk about it with somebody else. If you want to do that, I’ll be happy to listen, Lateisha."

The woman expected no response, so she was surprised when a small voice said, "My mama died." With that, the child broke down in sobs.

Anna set her plate down and took Lateisha in her arms. She stroked the girl’s braided hair as she rocked her slightly back and forth. "I’m so sorry, honey. It must be so hard for you." From her own experience, Anna knew exactly how lost the little girl felt. She was determined to ease the hurt in whatever small way she could. She encouraged Lateisha to talk about her mom, and soon began talking about her own.

The others had noticed that the quiet little girl was finally opening up, and they gave the two a wide berth. Lily was glad that Lateisha had found a friend, but she knew that Anna too would be richly rewarded for reaching this troubled child. These were the treasures that Lily pursued when she worked with children and families in trouble. No amount of monetary compensation was worth the feeling she got when she knew that she was making a difference in someone’s life. She was proud that her friend had reached out to this child, and impressed that she had broken through. She doubted that many others from Anna’s opulent world could have done that. When the group set out on their nature hike, the sight of the tall woman holding the small child’s hand triggered in Lily an emotional groundswell. Anna Kaklis is a very special woman.

Lunch that day was hotdogs, chips and cookies, always a hit with the kids. If Lily had worried that Anna might not like the outdoor cuisine, she needn’t have bothered. She and Lateisha had piled their plates high and retreated to their fallen log. In fact, Anna was coming off like an old hand with this camping stuff. This is my world, Anna. What do you think?

In the afternoon, the boys–who apparently had lost their minds–decided to go swimming, even though the water temperature was more suited to otters and Russian submarines. Lily and Anna commandeered the two canoes for a trip across the lake.

"This isn’t as easy as it looks, Lateisha." The pair was struggling to avoid several low branches that hung over the water directly in their path. When Anna paddled one way, Lateisha paddled the other, and now they were hopelessly trapped. From the other canoe, Lily and the twins were howling with laughter at their predicament, and that made the tall woman more determined to get out of this mess. She stood gingerly, reaching for a branch to push them away from the shoreline. Unfortunately, Lateisha chose that instant to drop her oar in the water and push off from the sandy bottom. With a scream, Anna toppled head first into the freezing water.

Lily’s first instinct was to laugh. She fought it, however, and rowed quickly to her fallen friend. Barely containing a grin as she watched Anna splash around to find her footing, the blonde asked, "Are you hurt?"

"N-n-n-no!" Anna shivered, as she stood waist-deep in the water.

Lily rowed still closer and leaned over the side, asking in a voice so low that only her friend could hear, "Are you cold, or just glad to see me?"

In a lightening quick moment, Anna reached into the other canoe and grabbed the taunting woman by her waistband and collar. "Oh, I’m glad to see you alright!" Rosa and Carlotta watched in shock as their leader was thrown end over end into the lake. In the next breath, Anna pulled her canoe from the overhanging trees and aimed it toward the campsite. "Row for your life, Lateisha!" She jumped into the back of the canoe and the two paddled feverishly to put distance between themselves and their pursuers. The three girls cried with laughter as Lily screamed her threats for revenge across the lake.

Once they reached the shore, Anna jumped out and dragged the boat up onto the sand. "You’d better hide," she told the delighted Lateisha, expecting the game to continue once their adversaries reached the camp. The little girl ran to stand behind Tony as Anna disappeared inside the tent.

"Where is that Amazon?" Lily bellowed as she raced from their abandoned canoe. Rushing into the tent, she found Anna kneeling topless with her back to the zippered entry. Oddly speechless, Lily stopped dead in her tracks.

"Gotcha, funny girl," the woman said without turning, pulling a sweatshirt over her head.

The game momentarily forgotten, Lily blushed as she recognized the lustful sensations that overwhelmed her as she glimpsed the muscled expanse of the woman’s back. Without a word, she moved to her bag to find some dry clothes.

"You’re not angry, are you?" Anna asked, suddenly concerned about her friend’s silence.

"Are you kidding? I bet those girls haven’t had that much fun in years." Talking about the children took the exchange to safe ground. I’m in such trouble here.

The ride back into the city on Sunday afternoon took a little over two hours. They dropped the twins at their foster home, and made their way toward the temporary shelter where Lateisha was staying until her father returned from military service overseas. Anna hopped out of the car to help the girl with her things, and they shared a long hug that brought a tear to Lily’s eye.

"You were great with Lateisha, you know. Your being with us on this trip was the best thing that could have happened to her." Lily’s praise was genuine.

"I liked her. She’s a sweetheart, and I understand what she’s going through."

"You mean because you lost your mother around her age?"

The woman nodded, a sad look crossing her face. Lily placed her hand on Anna’s knee to comfort her, "Thanks for spending so much time with her. You’re going to make a great mother one of these days. If that’s what you want, that is." She dismissed the unbidden image of the two of them fussing over a baby.

"I’d really like to have children some day. I just hate the whole ‘trial and error’ thing of marrying a suitable father." Anna went on to tell Lily about the call she had received from Scott last week. He wanted her to know that he and Sarah had gotten married in a civil ceremony. This came as no surprise, as Anna knew that Scott had moved in with Sarah shortly after they had separated. According to his lawyer, this had been under the auspices of being close to his son. "I’m happy for them. Really, I am. But I can’t help but envy them both, and I wonder if Sarah has something that was meant for me."

"I think you know the real answer to that," Lily said. "You know, more and more single women are choosing to have children. Have you ruled that out?"

"I haven’t really thought about it, but I suppose it’s an option."

*  *  *

Lily was in trouble and she knew it. What she now felt for the tall dark-haired woman had slipped past friendship, and she was sure to have her heart broken–it was only a matter of time. She and Anna had gotten together twice during the week following Silverwood Lake, once for dinner at Empyre’s and once at Lily’s house. Anna knew that her friend lived on a budget, so she always paid when she invited Lily out. They were increasingly comfortable together, poking fun at each other at times, and baring their souls at others.

On Saturday night, Lily picked up Chinese food and made her way to Sherman Oaks to have dinner with her friends. She had reluctantly turned down a movie offer with Anna because she had neglected Sandy and Suzanne for weeks.

"Are you insane?" Suzanne erupted when Lily had confessed that she was falling for Anna. The woman knew she would get an earful of admonition from both her friends, but she hadn’t expected this outburst.

"The heart has a will of its own, Suzanne. It’s not like I can help liking her. She’s smart and interesting. She makes me laugh. She’s kind and generous." Lily wanted to add "beautiful" to the list, but knew that would really set Suzanne off on a tirade. "You should have seen her last week with one of our foster children. That girl had hardly said a word in six months, and by the time we dropped her off at home, they were best friends. Anna even gave the girl her phone number, and they’ve already talked two or three times this week."

Sandy crossed the room and sat down next to her friend. "Suzanne’s right, Lily. Anna’s going to break your heart all to pieces." Sandy looked at her forlorn friend and added softly, "It’s not that she can’t be a good friend to you. She obviously already is. It’s just that she is straight… and that means she can’t return the feelings you have for her. You’re only going to hurt yourself by pursuing this, Lily. "

Lily nodded her head slowly as she looked at the floor. On the inside, it was her friends that she wanted to back away from. A few minutes later, she did just that, grabbing her jacket and heading for home.

"I think we’re too late," Suzanne said to her partner.

"I think so too. All we can do is be there for her to help pick up the pieces."

PART 8

F ROM HER OFFICE on the second floor, Lily saw the beautiful woman exit the black car and walk briskly toward the entrance to her building. I’m getting a surprise visitor for lunch, she thought with amused satisfaction. She quickly reached into her top drawer to check her appearance in the compact mirror. Three minutes later, she couldn’t believe her eyes–Anna was walking back to her car… with Tony!

"How could he do that!" Lily demanded. Lauren hadn’t seen Lily so mad since the Kidz Kamp funding cut. It was best not to answer, just to let the blonde attorney vent.

"Is something wrong?" Pauline had made her way down the hall to see what the yelling was about.

"It seems that Tony asked Lily’s friend out, even though she’d asked him not to," Lauren explained.

"Oh, no. Tony didn’t ask her. She called him."

Lily thought she might be physically ill.

One hour later, the BMW with the beautiful driver dropped Tony at the sidewalk in front of the building. The smiling lawyer had a spring in his step as he made his way back inside. In his desk chair, he found a small, blonde, very angry attorney.

"You could have said no!" she growled.

"Not to this." Still smiling, he removed a check from his pocket and placed it on the desk in front of her.

From the account of Premier Motors, payable to Kidz Kamp, in the amount of ten thousand dollars. Signed, Anna M. Kaklis.

*  *  *

Pulling through the open gate at the Kaklis home, the woman in the battered SUV suddenly felt like "country come to town." She had been delighted when Kim called with the invitation to Anna’s thirty-second birthday dinner, but as she parked among the BMWs, she couldn’t help but feel self-conscious.

"Surprise!" she said when Anna answered the door. The tall woman was thrilled to see her friend, and right away set off to introduce her to her parents and younger brother. She, and now Kim, had told everyone about the petite blonde attorney who had rescued her in the earthquake.

The birthday girl–her actual birthday was the following Tuesday–walked her friend through the majestic house toward the backyard patio. Lily took in the splendor of the fine home, lavishly decorated with art and antiques. Once outside, Anna dragged her to the umbrella table where George and Martine Kaklis sat with David, Kim and Hal. She wasn’t surprised to see that the men in the Kaklis family were tall and handsome.

"How’s my favorite first mate?" Hal asked enthusiastically.

"Hey, fella! I’m supposed to be your favorite first-mate," whined Kim, backhanding her husband playfully across his stomach. She reached out to hug the blonde, "I’m glad you could come."

"Me too. Thanks for inviting me."

Anna moved beside her stepmother. "Lily, I’d like to you meet my mother, Martine." When her father had married the widow, it had taken a couple of years before Anna felt comfortable calling Martine her mother. George had asked both of them to accept the label as an attempt to build family unity. The teenager had feared at the time that it would betray her own mother’s memory, but she complied to please her father. At 32, Anna knew she’d been lucky to have such a good relationship with the woman.

"I’m pleased to meet you, Mrs. Kaklis," the blonde said politely.

"My brother, David." David was well over six feet tall, with his sister’s black hair, but Martine’s hazel eyes.

"Hello, David."

"And this is my father, George."

Lily held out her hand. "Mr. Kaklis."

"Mom, Dad, David, I want you to meet somebody very special. This is my dear friend, Lily Stuart."

Somebody very special? Lily relished that thought.

George Kaklis’ reaction reminded the woman of her first meeting with Kim. The man stepped forward to embrace her, then stood back and said sincerely, "I can’t tell you how happy I am to meet the woman who saved my daughter’s life."

"You know, she always says that, but I’ve learned that she usually leaves out the part where she saved my life. I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t raised such a courageous daughter."

Kim leaned over and butted in, "Hal and I call them both ‘the mutual admiration society.’ It’s nauseating."

On cue, the two women blushed slightly, and turned the tables on the always lovey-dovey captain and first-mate, teasing them about their own mutual admiration.

Dinner was lively, with lots of conversation and questions for their guest. "So Lily, I take it you aren’t married," Martine started.

"That’s right, Mrs. Kaklis."

David jumped in, "Anna told us about something funny that you said when you guys were in the bridal shop at the mall. What was that again?"

Anna repeated Lily’s quip about her worst fear, and while everyone laughed, Martine didn’t quite get it. Kim noticed the perplexed look and whispered loudly enough for everyone at the table to hear, "Lily’s a lesbian, Mother."

A suddenly embarrassed Martine Kaklis looked at her guest with wide eyes. She too whispered loudly, "Oh, I’m sorry." She had somehow been left out of the loop on this bit of information.

Lily just laughed and whispered back "Don’t worry. I’m cool with it." She winked conspiratorially.

Everyone then laughed, but Martine went on, still whispering. "No, I mean… why am I whispering?" In her normal voice, she continued, "I mean I’m sorry for being so presumptuous. Now that I think of it, I believe Anna did mention it. I just forgot."

From there, Lily regaled the group with tales from Anna’s first outing with Kidz Kamp. Everyone in the room would have given their eye teeth to have seen the usually chic Anna cooking and serving breakfast to the campers, negotiating a sleeping bag, or especially tumbling into the lake. All were especially proud–surprised even–as Lily told of how Anna had broken through to the quiet Lateisha. None had ever imagined that the serious woman who stood out among LA’s business leaders would so easily connect with a troubled child.

Lily was enjoying herself thoroughly. The Kaklis family was fun, and they obviously were extremely devoted to one another. Being raised by a single mother, the blonde had never experienced this type of family life. Not that she was complaining–life with Eleanor had been perfect as far as Lily was concerned–but it was interesting to see the sibling dynamics, as well as the familial interchange between George and Martine. This was the life the young attorney wanted for all of the children she worked with in the foster care system.

George was fascinated by their guest, but troubled by something he saw in his own daughter’s face when he watched the two interact. It was unsettling, and he had seen it before when, at 20 years old, Anna had brought home her friend Carolyn from college. George had been certain at the time that Carolyn was a lesbian, and he was glad to learn that Anna and she had drifted apart during the following school year. All of this scrutiny of Lily notwithstanding, George couldn’t help but like the young woman, and he could never dismiss his gratitude for her role in their earthquake rescue. Still, he felt the need to send a subtle message to both of the young women. "So Lily, I’m curious. Do you ever encounter discrimination in your work?"

"You mean because I’m so short?" she quipped, knowing well that he was talking about her sexual orientation.

He chuckled, then went on, "No, I was just wondering if prejudice against gays was as bad in the court system as it is in the business world. I don’t consider myself prejudiced, but I have to confess that I’ve always been reluctant to hire people who were open about their sexual preferences because I think our potential customers would rather not deal with someone gay."

Lily bristled slightly, but tried to keep in mind that most people who "didn’t consider themselves prejudiced" were simply ignorant of what constituted bigotry. For some reason, it wasn’t taboo to be "open about your sexual preferences" if you were straight. She didn’t want to offend her friend’s father, so she tried not to take it personally. "So are you saying that BMWs aren’t appealing to gays?" Lily glanced at her friend to see if she was stepping over any lines with her question. To her displeasure, Anna seemed to be considering the argument on its face, rather than dismissing out of hand the notion of discrimination against gay sales staff.

George was a great businessman and he was certain that his position was best for the dealership. "No, not at all. I’m just saying that it makes better business sense to sacrifice the business of a minority than to risk alienating a majority. It’s just a matter of numbers."

For Lily, the worst part of this was the seeming acceptance by Anna to this Neanderthal point of view. Furthermore, that George had mentioned it at all seemed purposive to Lily, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what his motivation might have been.

To Anna, it was all a moot point, since she did all the hiring at the dealership. It had never occurred to her to consider someone’s sexual orientation as relevant to the job. She resolved to talk to her father in private, missing the fact that the conversation had left her friend uneasy.

Abruptly standing, the uncomfortable blonde looked across the table to her friend as though she were a total stranger. "I hope you’ve had a nice birthday, Anna. I should be going. I’ve got three cases scheduled for court next week, and I need to prepare." Turning to Kim and Hal, she added, "Thanks for including me in your plans. I know the way out." With that, she turned and left.

The front door closed before Anna could react. As realization dawned on what Lily must have thought, she immediately scampered to the front door to see the RAV4 disappear beyond the hedge. "Dad, that was rude!" she said, returning to the dining room. In all her life, she had never spoken to her father that way, and the shock was clearly registered on all the faces of the Kaklis family.

"Anna, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. If you want, I’ll call her and apologize." George was indeed contrite. He had not intended to insult the woman, though it was clear that he had.

"No, I’ll talk to her. I should go too. Thank you all for the party."

"Wait up, Anna." Kim rose to follow her sister to the door. "Are you going to Lily’s?"

"I think I should, don’t you? I just sat there, Kim. I had no idea that she was taking Dad’s words to heart, and I didn’t stick up for her."

"You need to talk to her. I don’t know what’s up with Dad, but she surely knows that you don’t feel that way." She took her sister’s shoulders and looked her squarely in the eye. "You and Lily care about each other, and you need to see what that’s about. Don’t let Dad decide this."

Anna was struck dumb by her sister’s words. See what it’s about? Did she mean…

The dark-haired woman finally found her voice. "I… it isn’t like that, Kim." Is it? With that, she was gone.

*  *  *

Lily was furious with herself. I should have kept my mouth shut! She was angry at herself for stomping off like a spoiled child. "I ruined dinner. I ruined her party. I’ve ruined everything. Way to go, Lilian," she said aloud, pounding on the steering wheel.

The RAV4 responded with a sputter, and slowed dramatically of its own volition. Lily slid one lane to the right and exited the freeway. To her relief, she spotted a Chevron station ahead as the car continued to slow, but it was clear she wasn’t going to make it. "Damn it! What else could…” She stopped herself suddenly, remembering that the last time she had asked a question like that, the earth had opened up and swallowed her. The RAV4 finally died against the curb, about 30 feet shy of the busy station.

*  *  *

Just great. She’s probably gone to tell her buddies what a shitty friend I turned out to be. Anna sat in her car staring at Lily’s empty parking space, furious with herself for not voicing her disagreement to what her father had said. Gathering her nerve, she waved her hand across the infrared beam. "Lily’s cell phone," she enunciated clearly.

*  *  *

"Three hundred dollars!" The blonde was incredulous. This was not the estimate for fixing the car, but the offering to take it off her hands. "The tires alone are worth a hundred and fifty apiece!"

The mechanic shrugged. He had a friend who would buy the car for parts, but neither was going to make a fortune on the ancient SUV. "Take it or leave it."

Lily groped for her phone when she heard the familiar chime. Anna! She would face the music first for her rash behavior. Then, she would deal with her car.

"Hi, Anna," she answered contritely. "I’m sorry I stormed out. I lost my head."

Anna was shocked. She’s apologizing to me? "No, Lily. You did nothing wrong. What Dad said was wrong, and I should have corrected him. I do all the hiring at the dealership, and I couldn’t figure out what on earth he was talking about. I’m the one who needs to be forgiven."

"No, you’re not. I was at a party in his house. He has a right to his opinions. I should have just controlled my temper. I ruined your party."

"No you didn’t. It wasn’t your fault." Immensely relieved that they were back on solid footing, Anna asked, "Where are you? I drove to your house."

"I’m on Henderson Avenue… at a Chevron station… with a dead car."

"I’ll be right there."

*  *  *

"Yes, it’s a great vehicle. I have no doubt at all that it’s the best one on the road, by far. It’s just… a little out of my price range. A lot, actually." It was after hours on a Saturday night in the showroom of Premier Motors, but Lily was getting the VIP treatment, looking over the brand new X5. BMW’s entry in the SUV market was sweet–leathered appointed, powerful, loaded with bells and whistles. When you tacked on taxes and dealer fees, the price of the lower end model was nearly 43 thousand dollars.

"I can get you a good deal. I know the owner," Anna winked at her friend.

"I’m sure you can. But even with a good deal, it’s more than I’ve saved for my house. I need to be looking at the Suzuki or the Ford Escape."

Anna blanched. "Look, Lily. What if you could get the X5 for the same price as one of those other cars? Say, twenty-two thousand. Which would you rather have?"

"The X5, of course. I’m not an idiot. But I can’t let you drop the price on this car that much. This is business." Lily was adamant.

"It’s more than business, though." Lily turned to interrupt, but Anna held up her hand. "Hear me out." She paused to choose her words carefully. She didn’t want to offend her friend. "I have a little trouble with my leg when I can’t stretch it out all the way. If I’m going to spend as much time in your new car as I did in your old car, then I would like to help you get something that’s comfortable to me." Lily was almost sold; she could see it in her eyes. She went on, "If you really like it, that is. And if we’re going to keep doing things together."

Lily was quiet as her head processed all the things Anna had just said. Keep doing things together. Yes, we are going to keep doing things together. She gestured at her friend’s knee. "It still bothers you?"

"Sometimes."

She thought about the long trips from San Diego, and to and from Silverwood Lake. She felt awful that the woman had probably been in agony the whole time, but was too nice to say anything. "Okay, I’ll do it. But we’ll compromise. I can go as high as thirty."

The car dealer smiled triumphantly. This sale was her best one ever, and she was taking a $21,000 hit. "We’ll see." Anna grinned and dragged the blonde through the glass door to the lot. "White, black, silver, or blue?"

*  *  *

"You should probably slow down a little bit," the dark-haired woman suggested.

"Holy shit! I’m doing ninety-five!" The blonde eased up on the accelerator and dropped her speed to a respectable eighty. She was still speeding, but no longer leading the pack on the Grapevine, that infamous twisting, climbing stretch of Interstate 5 north of LA. "I can’t believe how powerful this thing is. I love it!" A driver had delivered the brand new silver X5 to her apartment on Sunday afternoon. The paperwork on the front seat told her that Anna had ignored her gesture of compromise, fixing the final price at $22,000, financed over four years at 0.9 percent annual percentage rate. No one on earth had ever gotten such a good deal.

"I’m not carrying enough cash to get you out of jail," Anna warned, her eyes smiling. "You’ll have to spend the night."

Traffic was pretty light for a Friday night. They had left work early to get a head start north to San Jose. Lily was thrilled that Anna agreed to go with her. She hadn’t seen her mom since September, and even though she’d be back in three weeks for Thanksgiving, this was a chance to introduce her two favorite people to one another.

Anna was looking forward to meeting Eleanor. It would be fun to hear stories of Lily as a little girl. This also was a chance to see her friend Liz in San Mateo, whom she hadn’t seen since the wedding. They’d talked on the phone several times, but that didn’t compare to seeing each other face to face. Anna planned to drive up Saturday for dinner in the city while Lily visited with her mom.

The drive to San Jose was a little over five hours. Anna had suggested they hit the drive-thru at McDonald’s in Kettleman City, but Lily overruled. "You’re not eating in my new car!" Their quick stop cost them only 20 minutes.

Just before ten, Lily pulled to the curb in front of a small, two-story Victorian. The ladies grabbed their overnight bags and made their way up the sidewalk to the lighted porch. The front door opened, and an unassuming woman of about 60 stepped out. From somewhere in the corner of her brain, Anna remembered the image of this woman standing over Lily’s stretcher as she was loaded into the ambulance at the Endicott Mall.

"Hi baby! I’m so glad you’re here!" The two embraced and hugged fiercely. Their devotion was unmistakable. A long moment passed before they broke apart.

"Mom, I want you to meet… someone very special." She intentionally recalled the words Anna had used when introducing her to her father. "This is Anna Kaklis. Anna, this is my mom, Eleanor Stuart."

Anna reached out her hand to the older woman, but Eleanor was having none of that. She pulled the tall woman close and hugged her tightly. "Thank you for saving my daughter."

In a now familiar scene, Anna answered, "You’re welcome. But I couldn’t have done that if she hadn’t saved me first."

They entered the cozy house and were met at once by a handsome basset hound. "This is my boy Chester. He’s never met a stranger, so he’ll probably follow you around the house. If he gets on your nerves, just push him away."

The women set their bags beside the staircase, following Eleanor into the small living room. The comfortable room held a stuffed swivel rocker and loveseat for the house’s human occupants, and a sprawling flannel beanbag for the adorable hound. Chester took his place in the center of the room, as the travelers made their way to the loveseat. The pup then changed his mind and came to sit at Anna’s feet, locking his droopy brown eyes onto her blue ones. "Hi there, fella. I hear you’re easy," she said, reaching out to scratch behind the happy dog’s ears.

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" Eleanor asked.

"No, we’re fine, Mom. Go ahead and sit. I know where things are if we change our mind."

For the next half-hour, Lily’s friend and mother exchanged pleasantries and talked about the attorney as though she weren’t in the room. Anna had heard the story of how Lily had come to live with her first grade teacher. She was surprised to learn that Eleanor was now principal of a large elementary school.

Eleanor was excited to hear that Lily was driving a new car. She peered out the window, but promised to get a closer look the next day. Seeing the tired looks on the faces of her visitors, she turned to her daughter. "Why don’t you show Anna to your old room, and you take the futon in the office?"

"No, no. I’ll be fine on the futon," the tall lady protested. "You should sleep in your own room."

Eleanor and Lily both laughed. Lily explained the house rules. "First of all, your comfort is my reason for living. Second, I don’t have a room here anymore. Mom threw my old furniture out ages ago. And third, the futon’s barely big enough for me, Amazon. Chester would be licking your feet all night."

"Well, lead the way, Pygmy."

*  *  *

"Wow! You look fabulous! Do you mind me saying that divorce agrees with you?" Liz was astounded at the difference in her friend since the wedding. Anna had always been beautiful, but way too thin in Liz’s mind. Even dressed in slacks and a sweater, it was obvious that Anna had put on weight through her shoulders and middle, and the muscles in her neck were evidence of her workout regimen.

"You look great too," Anna said sincerely. Liz had always been on the heavy side, but her Italian features were striking. The olive complexion, the large brown eyes, and jet black hair always earned her a second look. In addition to her usual look, Elizabeth Leandro Patterson had a glow.

"That’s because I’m pregnant." Her smile grew wider and wider.

"Congratulations!" Anna was truly happy for her longtime friend. "When are you due?"

"Not until the middle of May. I just found out yesterday. Rick’s walking around on Cloud Nine."

"How is Rick? And Chloe?"

"They’re fine. They wanted to see you, but I wanted you all to myself." The two women had decided to meet at Stella’s, a trendy neighborhood place in San Francisco’s Mission District. Through dinner, they caught up on one another, including the story of the earthquake and the remarkable woman Anna had met.

"Do you ever hear from Carolyn?" Liz asked casually. Carolyn Bunting had been one of Anna’s closest friends at Cal Poly. During their sophomore year, they were practically inseparable. But when they returned for their junior year, Carolyn was distant, always busy with other things, other people. Anna had been deeply hurt, but assumed simply that Carolyn had developed other interests.

"Not recently. Did I tell you that I saw her about four years ago at the reunion? You and Rick were in Europe, I think."

"How was she?" Liz was fishing. Something about the way Anna had talked about her new friend made Liz think this was the finally the time to have that conversation with her friend that she had avoided more than ten years ago.

"She was great. She’s living in Seattle working for God. I mean, Bill Gates," she corrected herself, laughing. "She introduced me to her partner, a woman who works in the Seahawks’ front office." Anna let the words settle a moment. "Did you know back in college that Carolyn was gay?"

"Yes, I did… Did you know she was in love with you?"

The tall woman froze. A flood of emotions long buried crept into her consciousness. "How do you know that?" she asked quietly.

"She told me. She called me in Sacramento after sophomore year. She asked me if I thought it was possible that you felt the same way about her." Liz took a deep breath. Her friend deserved to know the whole story. "I should have told her the truth, that I really didn’t know how you would feel. Instead, I told her that I didn’t think it was possible. That you never talked about her that way. She asked me if she should break off your friendship." Liz was so ashamed of what she was about to say. "I told her yes."

Anna sighed deeply, then leaned back in her chair. "Well, that explains a lot. I never really understood why she didn’t want to do things together anymore when we came back in the fall."

Liz reached across the table and took her friend’s hand. "Anna, I’ve always regretted my hand in that. I’ve… wondered from time to time if you might have… found what you were looking for in Carolyn after all."

A look of sadness crossed the tall woman’s face as she processed what Liz had said. "I don’t know what to say, Liz. I’m sure you did what you thought was best at the time."

In for a penny, in for a pound. "No, Anna. You’re not letting me off the hook that easily. Not until I tell you that I think you ought to step back and take a look at where things might be headed with your new friend."

"With Lily?"

"You should hear yourself talk about her. You should see the look on your face. What is she to you, Anna?" What was it Kim had said? You need to see what this is about.

The tall woman grew quiet as she turned the question over in her mind. "Lily is one of the most important people in my life. We’ve shared something extraordinary, and that will probably bond us forever."

"How would you feel if Lily met someone and fell in love?"

"I… don’t know, Liz." She knew, but she wasn’t ready to say. She’d be devastated.

*  *  *

"Have you told her?" Eleanor joined her daughter on the loveseat to watch for Anna’s return.

"Told her what?" Lily was nothing if not evasive.

"That you’re in love with her." Eleanor was nothing if not persistent.

The young woman sighed and turned toward the window. "No, I haven’t. I’m afraid it would freak her out."

The older woman was worried for her daughter. There was no easy way a mother could protect a child from a broken heart. "She might, Lily. And it might make her so uncomfortable that she wouldn’t want to be friends anymore."

Lily nodded in agreement. She could feel the tears starting to form. Eleanor was going to warn her off, just as Sandy and Suzanne had.

Eleanor placed her palm on the side of her daughter’s face. With her thumb, she touched the tear that threatened to fall. "But some things may be worth the risk, sweetheart."

*  *  *

The drive back to LA started out quietly. Both women were absorbed in the mental recounting of their respective conversations, each wondering if the other had a hint of her true feelings. Anna leaned back into the plush leather, draping her arm over the console.

Lily looked at the hand near her side. Finally, she reached out and took it in her own. "Thanks for coming with me this weekend. It really meant a lot to Mom. And to me." Anna squeezed the small hand, but didn’t release it. They rode in silence like that for more than an hour, both acutely aware of their closeness.

PART 9

"I T SNOWED LAST night in the Sierras." No response. "I know, ‘You’re fine. Thanks for asking.’"

"Hello to you, too. What’s with the weather report?" Lily had finally accepted that Anna preferred to start her conversations in the middle. She would get around to the beginning eventually.

The car dealer cleared her throat and enunciated formally, "I’m calling to request the pleasure of your company for Thanksgiving in Tahoe with the Kaklis clan."

Normally, this would have been a no-brainer for the attorney. An opportunity to spend a holiday with her beautiful friend was not something to be trifled with. "As tempting as that sounds, I always spend Thanksgiving with Mom." She was sorry to miss out on the fun at Tahoe, but Lily was a strong believer in family traditions. She hadn’t missed Thanksgiving with Eleanor since she was seven years old.

"Sure," Anna goaded her friend. "You’re just afraid of Dad." The two friends had talked at length about Anna’s relationship with her father as they journeyed back to LA from visiting Eleanor two weeks ago. Lily surmised that her friend felt an acute need to win her father’s approval, though she couldn’t imagine that any father would find fault with such a wonderful daughter. "So how far is Tahoe from San Jose?"

"Mmmmm… about four hours. Why? You want to come down?"

"Well, I thought maybe you could drive up and spend a day or two with us. We could ski, maybe go to a show at one of the casinos…”

"That sounds like a lot of fun, but I’m really not much of a skier."

"That doesn’t matter. We’ll find something to do."

I can think of a few things. "Sure, I’d really like that. I probably should talk with Mom first, though. I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings if she’s got something planned. When do you need to know?"

"No deadline really. We’re all going anyway, and there’s plenty of room. We can play it by ear."

*  *  *

Eleanor had practically shoved her daughter out the door on Friday morning. She wasn’t going to stand in the way of advancing Lily’s love life. "Stop it, Mom! I still haven’t said anything to her. We’re just friends."

"That’s because you’re here and she’s there. Now go!"

The drive had taken almost five hours, as fresh snow had narrowed Interstate 80 traffic to one lane at the higher elevations. Lily was fearless in her go-anywhere X5, arriving at the rental cabin just after one in the afternoon. The surrounding woods were a beautiful white, and the smell of wood smoke filled her nostrils when she stepped from the SUV. Two other four-wheel drive vehicles, a Lincoln Navigator that looked like a rental and a Jeep Wrangler with a Cal-Berkeley alumni sticker, were already parked alongside the cabin.

"Lily!" George Kaklis’ booming voice could be heard through the door as she made her way up the steps to the broad wrap-around porch.

But it was a grinning Anna who opened the door and pulled her inside. "Get in here and shut the door before all the heat gets out!"

"I had a lovely trip. Thanks for asking," the blonde joked.

"Shhhhh! What’d I tell you about raising people’s expectations?"

Lily greeted Martine, then George, who was friendly and polite. David was spending the holiday with his girlfriend’s family back in LA. Kim and Hal were on the slopes with their friend Todd, who had arrived earlier that day.

George was still tender from the rare scolding his family had given him about his comments to Lily at Anna’s birthday dinner. In truth, he didn’t care at all if his salespeople were gay. He had just overreacted to the closeness he had seen between the attorney and his daughter. When Martine suggested privately that his heavy hand might lead Anna to rebel and do something she might not otherwise do, he realized that the sensible thing to do was back off and treat Lily like a family friend. After all, she had saved Anna’s life. "Lily, I feel that I really owe you an apology for my remarks at Anna’s birthday dinner. I hope you’ll forgive me for putting my foot in my mouth."

"There’s nothing to forgive, Mr. Kaklis. Reasonable people sometimes disagree. It’s what makes the world interesting." Anna was impressed with both her father and her friend at this considerate exchange.

After lunch, Anna and Lily drove the elder couple to the airport in Reno. George was reluctant to be away from the business over the holiday weekend, though Martine would have enjoyed spending more time with her family. More than that, she wanted time with George when he wasn’t so completely absorbed in his work.

"I was going to put you in the room Mom and Dad had, but I didn’t know that Todd was coming up today." Todd, Anna explained, was Hal’s fraternity brother and best man at their wedding. He now lived in Sacramento, but was moving soon to take a city planning job in Orange County. "You’ll be stuck with me, if that’s okay." Lily followed her friend into a small room, smiling to herself with anticipation.

Twin beds. Rats! "Hey, you put up with me in a tent. I can suffer sharing a room," she winked.

The evening was relaxing and entertaining, as Hal and Todd traded memories of fraternity pranks. The three women simply shook their heads in disbelief. "You guys are so crude," Kim said in disgust. "Lily’s got the right idea. I’m surprised more women aren’t lesbians."

"There’s still time," Anna joked.

If only! "Well, you know what they say," Lily said in agreement. "Better latent than never!"

*  *  *

On Saturday morning, the five friends trudged along the path through the woods to the slopes. Compared to the stylish sisters, the blonde felt like a ragamuffin. The snow pants she wore were from her pudgy days, and they bagged around her hips. Struggling clumsily with her rented boots and skis, she more than once considered taking a pass, as she could stop short of making a complete fool of herself. But with Anna’s encouragement, she gamely joined in.

Lily did fine on her first two runs, picking her way slowly down the center of the trail as Anna and Todd crisscrossed one another playfully. On the third trip, just as she was sure that she had the hang of it, some demon child clipped her elbow as he raced past. Working desperately to keep her balance, the novice skier teetered first one way then the next, finally ending up sprawled face down in the snow bank at the side of the trail.

Anna gasped in alarm as she watched the accident unfold. Racing to her fallen friend’s side, she dropped down and turned the woman over. She was… laughing? Lily’s cheeks were red with the cold and her green eyes sparkled in the bright sunlight. Snowflakes clung to her eyelashes and golden hair. She looks adorable. Relieved that the woman was alright, Anna too began to laugh. Abruptly, their smiles faded as each recognized something unmistakable in the other’s eyes.

"Is everything okay here?" Todd threw a spray of powder as he abruptly came to a stop, shattering the moment.

Godamnedsonofamotherfuckingbitch! Lily had picked that up from Lauren, and it had never seemed more appropriate than right now. "Yeah, I’m okay. Injured pride is all." She glanced back at her friend, who had looked away and was now intent on helping her to her feet. The three started slowly down the mountain.

"Well that was hardly your fault! That kid wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing." Anna wanted to bolster her friend’s shaken confidence. "Are you sure you’re alright?"

Lily wasn’t hurt, but the familiar tickle in her chest told her that an asthma attack was on its way. "Actually, I’m fine, but I think my asthma is kicking up. I get this way sometimes when I exercise in the cold. Laughing probably pushed me over the edge."

Anna suddenly panicked, as memories of the earthquake flooded back. "Did you remember your medicine? Do you need a doctor? What should I do?"

"No, no. Don’t worry about me," Lily assured. They had reached the lodge and she began to remove her skis. "It isn’t bad, and I have my medicine in my locker. As long as I don’t do anything to make it worse, I should be fine."

"Then we should stop for the day. We’ll go back to the cabin and you can rest."

Going back to the cabin with this beautiful woman sure seemed like a pretty good idea, but Lily was cursed with a "put others first" quality that was annoying at times. "No way! You missed a whole day yesterday because you were waiting for me. I’ll be fine. I’ll sit in front of the window down there and watch you guys come down. Go on!" She gestured toward the lodge. "I’ll be there."

The weary blonde turned in her boots and gathered her belongings from the rented locker. As usual, the medicine took effect right away and she already felt better. She laughed out loud when she spotted Anna, Todd, Kim and Hal skiing toward the bottom in a makeshift conga line.

*  *  *

"We’re gonna kick your ass!" Hal hissed to Lily.

"Aw, you sissies couldn’t score if we went home!" The football wars had begun in earnest, as the Cal Bears took the field in Berkeley against the UCLA Bruins for the final game of the season. Hal and Todd had dragged the TV to the center of the vaulted living room, arranging the sofa and loveseat close enough to yell at the refs.

Kim and Hal staked their claim to the couch, and snuggled together affectionately. Todd, wanting no part of the sickening display, took a seat opposite the pair on the loveseat. When Anna entered the room, he gestured to the open space beside him.

"Hey, not fair!" Lily whined when she walked in and found that the only empty seat was at the end of the couch with Kim and Hal. "The Berkeley Bozos should have to sit together."

"Nice try," said Todd. "I’m not getting near those two. The whole couch might spontaneously combust at any moment."

And you’re not giving up the beautiful Amazon either, she thought dejectedly.

The game was one of the most exciting contests Lily could remember. The Bruins scored first. That’s good. The Bears answered back. That’s bad. The Bruins intercepted. That’s good. The Bears recovered a fumble. That’s bad. The Bruins blocked a punt. That’s good. Todd put his arm around Anna’s shoulder. That’s bad. Very bad.

At the end of the third quarter, the dark-haired beauty suddenly stood. "Does anyone want anything to drink?" She made her way to the kitchen to a chorus of orders.

Lily started to follow her, but stopped when Todd jumped to his feet and padded into the kitchen. An eternity passed in the next five minutes, and the anxious blonde could stand it no longer. "I’ll go see if they need a hand." Full of apprehension, she walked quietly toward the kitchen.

The sight of Anna kissing the young man was like a blow to the gut.

*  *  *

Anna,

Thank you so much for the invitation this weekend. I had a wonderful time.

Sorry I missed the end of the game last night. My asthma usually doesn’t act up like that, but sometimes it happens when I’m in a place I’m not used to. Anyway, I’m fine now.

I woke up really early and thought I’d hit the road. I’ve got a busy week in court, so I could use a head start on getting my cases ready. I’ll probably be pretty busy for the next couple of weeks, but maybe we can get together after that.

I hope you guys have fun today. Have a safe trip home. Thanks again.

Lily

When Anna returned from the kitchen with the drinks, Lily had already gone to bed. "She said something about her asthma bothering her again," Kim said.

The dark-haired woman made her way up the stairs to the small room she shared with her friend. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. Lily was on her side, facing the wall.

"Yeah, I took some medicine. I just need to get some sleep. I’ll be fine," she lied. She might never be fine again. Please just go away.

*  *  *

"What an idiot!" the woman exploded as she barreled south on Interstate 5 at 103 miles an hour. "What the fuck did you think you were doing? Why would you think there was a chance in hell that she might be interested in you? You idiot!" Through unchecked tears, Lily berated herself for letting her desires cloud her judgment. "You just saw what you wanted to see."

The X5 driver didn’t much want to see those red and blue lights in her rearview mirror. "Fuck! That’s just fucking perfect!"

*  *  *

Anna was frustrated. She’d been back from Tahoe a week and a half and had yet to connect with her friend. Each call went to voicemail, and Lily’s return calls seemed to come when she too was unavailable. She had no way of knowing that Lily had actually called the dealership five times, only staying on the line when she was assured of being put through to the woman’s voicemail.

The Christmas season was a busy time for the dealership. Anna and George worked hard to clear the lot of excess inventory before the taxman counted cars on December 31st. To help with their goal, Premier Motors had a contest each year, awarding the top seller for the month a Hawaiian vacation. Brad and Anna were clearing almost 15 cars a day.

*  *  *

It was never Lily’s nature to seek consolation for disappointment of any kind. Rather, she tended to withdraw, by keeping her mind occupied with work, and her body with challenge and pain. The week after Thanksgiving, the attorney went to the weight room every night when she returned to her apartment complex, completing three reps at 80 percent of her max until her muscles burned.

The following weekend, she sought solace hiking deep into the San Gabriel Mountains, more than 17 miles on Saturday to the top of Mt. Disappointment. How appropriate. She followed that with a 12-mile climb to the observatory at Mt. Wilson on the following day. Though she carried her cell phone for work emergencies, Lily avoided calls from Anna, and from Sandy and Suzanne.

*  *  *

The attorney reached for the phone on her desk, but stopped short when she recognized the caller. "I need a better plan," she muttered, letting the call go to voicemail. It was after six on Thursday evening, and she was alone in the office. Lily had practiced in her head a hundred times the conversation she would have with Anna, if only the tall woman would read her part.

"I’ve really had a lot of fun these last few months, but I’m neglecting my work."

Anna would say "I know how important your job is to you. You’re one of the most conscientious people I’ve ever met."

"I wish I had more time to do things with my friends, but my clients really need more of my attention."

Anna would say "I understand. Maybe we can get together sometime when you get caught up with your work."

"I’d really like that. Thanks for being so understanding."

It was a silly scenario, and about as likely as Cher having drinks with the Pope. The hardest part would be facing the woman in the first place. Lily knew in her rational mind that Anna had done nothing wrong. She had no legitimate reason to feel angry or betrayed. How on earth could she explain her withdrawal in a way that was even remotely credible without spilling her secret?

The phone rang again, this time announcing a local pay phone. It wasn’t unusual for the clinic’s clients to call from a pay phone, so the attorney quickly picked it up.

"Lilian Stuart," she announced.

"Should I be hurt that the calls from my cell phone are getting bounced?"

The blonde froze in her chair as her stomach did "that thing" again, fluttering, then sinking. "I just walked in," she lied. "Have you been calling?"

Anna let it slide. Her friend’s voice sounded cool and strained. "Yeah, just a few minutes ago." And about a hundred other times this week. "You must be awfully busy. How are you holding up?"

Lily was genuinely touched at her friend’s concern. Anna didn’t deserve the cold shoulder she was getting. "I’ll manage, thanks. My clients have a hard time around the holidays, and we all usually have too much to do." She relaxed in her chair, beginning to enjoy the exchange. She had really missed this.

"Why are the holidays so hard? I would think it would be a happy time." The car dealer wanted her friend to open up.

"Well, it’s kind of stressful for people who don’t have money. The kids act out because they’re jonesing for things they can’t have. Everybody argues. The stress level goes up, and eventually, somebody starts hitting."

"I guess that makes your job pretty hard. I hope you’re taking care of yourself." Anna couldn’t put her finger on what it was, but she knew something was amiss. The only thing she knew to do was comfort and support her friend. "Would you want to get together for dinner? It sounds like you could use a break."

You are so fucking irresistible. Lily had to buy some more time. She couldn’t see Anna in this weakened state. "Sure, but not tonight. I’ve got tons of stuff to do. Maybe next week… Wednesday?" That was almost a week to strengthen her resolve.

*  *  *

The week passed all too quickly for the anxious blonde. She and Anna had arranged to meet at the Starfish, a casual seafood restaurant in Marina del Rey. Lily had suggested including Hal and Kim to deflect the conversation from her own withdrawn behavior, but her tall friend was having none of that. The lawyer arrived ten minutes late to find Anna already seated by the window overlooking the marina. She looks tired.

The site of the attorney walking toward her table brought an immediate smile to Anna’s face. She looks tired. "It’s good to see you finally! You’re working yourself to death."

"I’m fine. But I’ve been neglecting my work a bit over the past few months. It’s time to get caught up." This is the part where you’re supposed to say how conscientious I am and how you understand my need to work.

"Look, you’re one of most dedicated people I know. But you’re going to have to find a balance. It can’t be good for you to work so hard."

That wasn’t your line! "Look, what I do is important. If you slack up at work, that’s a few thousand dollars less in your pocket at the end of the month. If I do, women get slapped around, and kids get molested by their mother’s boyfriends. That’s why I work my ass off!" She wanted the words back. She hadn’t meant for that to come out so forcefully, and the part about the money in Anna’s pocket had never before been a conscious thought in Lily’s mind. Now, there was a look of hurt in those beautiful blue eyes, and she had put it there.

Anna was pure class. She gathered herself and went on, "I know that what I do doesn’t hold a candle to your work. It shames me sometimes to think about it. You’re a real hero to me."

If the earth had opened again and swallowed the humbled blonde, it would have been a fitting ending to the moment. With misty eyes, she reached her hand across the table and covered that of her dignified friend. "I’m… sorry. I didn’t mean to… That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me."

The rest of dinner was an awkward affair, the conversation stilted and superficial. Lily insisted on paying the check this time, and the pair parted with no plans to see each other again.

On December 21st, a florist delivered to the clinic a gorgeous basket of wildflowers in a Christmas arrangement.

Lily,

I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Please give my best to Eleanor.

Anna

PART 10

"W HAT DID I tell you? Gorgeous, isn’t it?" Kim held her arms wide in the foyer of the luxury condominium. Twenty-two hundred square feet, two bedrooms and a loft, a private patio, and covered parking. "It’s gated, so you won’t have to worry about unwelcome guests. The maintenance fees are only eight hundred a month. That’s a steal in this neighborhood."

"I don’t know. It’s okay, I guess." Anna couldn’t seem to get enthused about any of the properties on Kim’s list. She knew it was time to give up the house–the one she had bought with Scott. She hadn’t been comfortable there since the day she moved into the guest room. Come to think of it, she hadn’t been all that comfortable in the master suite with Scott either.

"I wonder what Lily would think about it. She’s got a pretty good sense of things." Kim had been thinking for weeks how to bring up the subject of Lily with her sister. Anna was back to working long hours, losing weight and avoiding her family again. And she wasn’t spending time with the attorney, who Kim thought had come to mean more to her than any friend she had ever had. "Why don’t we call her and see if she’ll join us?"

Anna walked away from the realtor into the living room. "Does this fireplace work?" She needed to change the subject.

"Yes. Did you just ignore me?" Sister wasn’t going to let it go.

Anna sighed and sat on the low hearth. "Lily and I aren’t doing much together these days. She’s been really busy at work." That was the party line.

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"We had dinner together a couple of weeks before Christmas." She was silent for almost a minute, staring at the floor. "It’s like something happened at Tahoe, but I have no idea what it was." The tall woman’s voice was sad, but the words were deliberate, as though she had gone over them many times in her head. "It seemed like we all had a good time. Then she got asthma that night and left the next day without saying goodbye. When we got back, she ducked my calls. I must have done something or said something."

"Did something happen in the kitchen?"

"When?"

"When you and Todd went to get drinks for everybody." Kim was straining to remember the details. She sensed that this was an important event. "Lily went in to help, then she came back and said she was sick. Come to think of it, that’s the last time I saw her."

Anna’s eyes grew wide as she stood and started to pace the empty room. Clutching her head in her hands, the moment came back. "She came into the kitchen? Are you sure?"

Kim nodded.

"I was in the kitchen with Todd. He was telling me how much fun he’d had and how good it was to see me again." She turned and looked out the window. "He asked if we could get together when he moved down here. Then he kissed me." Anna suddenly knew that Lily had witnessed that kiss.

Kim realized it too, and immediately understood the significance. "He kissed you?" She felt anger arise at the thought of Hal’s friend being so presumptuous.

"I stopped him, though. I pushed him back. I didn’t get angry or anything, I just wasn’t comfortable with it. I told him that I didn’t think of him that way. He said he was sorry, and everything was okay after that."

"Did you ever see Lily in the kitchen at all?"

"No."

"Then I think we just figured out what changed." Kim put her hand on her sister’s shoulder. She couldn’t articulate the rest. Anna would have to do that. "Honey, I’m here for you. You can talk to me if you want to."

"Thank you." Anna reached out both arms and hugged her sister. "I… want to think about it all for awhile, but I promise I’ll talk to you soon, okay?" She was glad to finally understand what had changed things between Lily and herself, but she had no idea what she would do about it.

*  *  *

The drunken blonde stumbled to the door to stop the incessant ringing and pounding. "Lay off, already. I’m not fucking deaf!" Fumbling with the dead bolt, she flung the door back without checking through the peephole. There in her doorway stood two very angry women.

"What the hell’s going on with you?" Suzanne demanded. "You don’t return our phone calls. You don’t come by. You ignore our invitations without so much as a ‘fuck you.’"

"Who the fuck do you think you are, coming into my house and yelling at me like that?" Oh yeah, really drunk. "Get the hell out of here!"

Sandy was shocked to hear the always gentle woman speaking to them in this manner. On the other hand, Suzanne’s language never surprised her. She took in the dirty apartment and her disheveled friend. Never in her life had Lily been more in need of a friend.

Without another word, Sandy stepped forward and embraced the woman. Lily resisted at first, trying to turn away, but Sandy was bigger and held on tight. The little blonde finally relaxed. She wanted to cry, but the tears were gone.

"What’s this about, Lily? Is it Anna?"

The drunken girl nodded. "You were right about her. And about me. She’s straight, and I should have left her alone. But I didn’t. I was under some grand illusion that she could fall in love me. Just like I fell in love with her."

"We told you that was going to happen. We could see it coming a mile away." Suzanne would rather be right than president.

"Shut up, Suzanne," Sandy stopped her partner.

Holy shit! That was worth letting them in!

"This is our fault," Sandy continued.

"What do you mean our fault?" Suzanne was stunned. In 12 years, her partner had never told her to shut up. She was certain she should do just that.

"Yeah, what do you mean your fault," slurred the little drunk.

"I mean that Lily has been ignoring us because she didn’t want to hear us say ‘I told you so.’" Lifting up Lily’s chin, she said sincerely, "We didn’t ever mean to give the impression that we wouldn’t be here for you."

"Even if I decided to wreck my own life?"

"Especially then."

*  *  *

The revelation that Lily had pulled away from her because of Todd made Anna want to simply pick up the phone and tell the woman that it was all a misunderstanding. However, there were several problems with that approach, not the least of which was the fact that Lily wasn’t taking her calls. Besides, it was a pretty vulnerable spot for Anna to crawl into willingly, especially if Lily had already moved on. But the main thing that stopped her was the realization that she wasn’t prepared for Lily’s response, no matter what it was.

"Are you getting excited about our trip?" George Kaklis entered his daughter’s office. On Monday morning, the two of them would leave for Germany where they would tour the BMW design center and meet with the engineers. It was something the father and daughter had done every three years since Anna was 17.

"Of course," she replied, but without her usual enthusiasm. "How about you?"

"I always look forward to these trips. Not because we’re going to hear about the cars, but because I get to spend time with one of my very favorite people." George hadn’t seen much of his daughter lately, and he wasn’t sure why. She seemed withdrawn, much as she did before she announced her decision to divorce Scott. "Listen, sweetheart. I know you’re working on something in your head. If you want to talk, I’ll listen. Who knows? Maybe I can help."

"Thanks. I appreciate that. I look forward to being with you too." She hated being such an open book, but she sure wasn’t ready to dump this melodrama on her father. "I love you, Dad," she added sincerely.

When her father retreated, Anna stood and closed the door to her office. Pulling from her wallet the business card she had located last night, she dialed the Seattle number. It was time to take a step.

"Carolyn Bunting please." Anna drummed her fingers nervously as she waited on the line for the familiar voice.

"This is Carolyn."

"Hi stranger. It’s Anna Kaklis. How are you?" Lily’s lessons in social skills were really paying off.

A brief moment passed as the programmer registered the name and voice. It really was her. "Anna? Wow, what a surprise! I’m fine. How are you?" Carolyn was genuinely excited to be hearing from her long lost friend.

"I’m fine too. And Vicki?" Anna was glad she was in the habit of writing things down. When Carolyn had given her the Microsoft business card at the reunion, she had scribbled Vicki’s name on the back.

Carolyn was very impressed. She had been pleasantly surprised four years ago when Anna had responded so warmly to meeting her partner. She wasn’t sure how the beautiful woman would react to learning that someone who had been so close to her was gay. She needn’t have worried. Anna was still the kind and authentic person she had fallen for so hard in college. "She’s fine. Gosh, I hope you’re calling because you’re in Seattle."

"No, I’m in LA. I… wondered if we could talk about something, but it’s personal, so I thought we could set a time to talk later tonight."

Personal? Carolyn would explode if she had to wait to hear this. She gave Anna a cell phone number and grabbed her coat. "I’m going for a walk. Be back later," she told the co-worker in the next cubicle. This open corporate culture certainly had its perks.

"Now, what was it you wanted to talk about?" the programmer asked as she slowly walked the grounds of the business campus.

Where to start? How much should I say? "I… I’ve met somebody, Carolyn." Here goes. Deep breath. "Her name is Lily. She’s smart, funny, and sweet. She’s one of the finest, most decent people I’ve ever known."

Carolyn was astounded. She had once hoped that this woman would have those feelings for her, but she had accepted then that it wasn’t possible. She had never given Anna’s sexuality another thought. It seemed perfectly normal when she’d gotten the wedding invitation…”What about… Anna, aren’t you married?"

"I’m divorced. It’s kind of a long story, but it’s not especially ugly. Some things just weren’t meant to be."

"So… what’s the problem?" Carolyn couldn’t complete this puzzle on her own.

Anna sighed deeply on the other end of the phone. "Carolyn, I don’t know where to go from here. There was only one other time in my life where I felt anything close to what I feel for Lily… and that was what I felt for you."

The rush of emotions threatened to overwhelm the woman as she walked, and she made her way to a bench. Her love for this beautiful woman had faded years ago, but the memory of how strong it was had not. Giving up Anna without ever knowing if there was a chance for them was one of the hardest things she had ever done. "I don’t know what to say, Anna. I take it you know now that I loved you back then."

"I had dinner with Liz in San Francisco a couple of months ago. I talked to her about Lily and she said I needed to see it through. And she told me about talking to you that summer. Looking back on it now, I think she wishes she hadn’t warned you away."

In a magnanimous gesture she didn’t really feel, Carolyn smoothed things over for the benefit of her friend. "Well, who knows if you and I could have made anything work. Besides, things have a way of working out. I can’t imagine my life without Vicki." That much was true. She and the sports communication director were a perfect match.

"Carolyn, I have so many questions. Some about me, some about Lily. We’re in a mess right now, and I need to fix it before I lose my sanity."

"Look, why don’t you come up to Seattle for a couple of days? I’d love to see you, and so would Vicki. We’ll talk. I promise you won’t leave more confused than you are now."

It was already late Friday afternoon. "I leave Monday morning for Germany. I’ll be gone nine days." That seemed like an eternity to Anna. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could take the uncertainty.

"Why don’t you come up tonight or tomorrow? Go make some arrangements and call me back. I’ll pick you up at the airport. You can go home on Sunday."

And so it was done. Anna would fly to Seattle at 9:31 a.m. Saturday morning. She desperately hoped she would find her answers there.

*  *  *

There was always something instinctively frightening about the phone ringing in the middle of the night. 1:31 read the digital clock. Lily grabbed the receiver as she groped for the lamp on the nightstand. "Hello."

"Miss Stuart! Help me! He’s outside and he says he’s coming in. I think he has a gun!" The frantic woman spoke with a heavy Spanish accent.

"Whoa, slow down. Is this Maria?"

"Yes, it’s Miguel. He’s been drinking. He called me and said he wanted to see his kids."

"Listen, Maria. You need to call the police. I’m coming over right now, but you need to call the police. Can you do that?" The blonde tumbled from the bed and started to dress. "I’ll be there soon. Call the police now, and whatever you do, don’t let him in."

Thirty minutes later, the silver X5 stopped in front of a small white house in East LA. There were already two police cruisers on the scene, lights flashing and radios blaring. Neighbors watched the action from their yards. Lily ran toward the house to see Maria Esperanza being led away in handcuffs. The front door was torn from its frame.

"Whoa! What’s going on here? Where are you taking her?" she demanded to the officer holding Maria’s elbow.

"Who are you?" he scowled, pushing the woman roughly into the back seat of the cruiser.

"I’m Lilian Stuart, Mrs. Esperanza’s attorney. And I’d like to advise you that I don’t like the way you just shoved my client into the car," she said angrily. At that point, another officer emerged from the house with a handcuffed Miguel, whose face was bloodied badly.

"Look, Mrs. Stuart. We have our rules. If they’re both fighting, we haul ‘em both in. The judge can sort it out."

"This is her home! She didn’t just rip her own door off! She has a right to defend herself!" This was ridiculous!

"Like I said, it isn’t for me to sort out. If you want to help your client, you should come to the station with her." Resigned to wait, she cooled her heels while the officers finished collecting their evidence.

A familiar car pulled into the driveway, and Sandy got out, flashing her credentials to the waiting officer. The social worker had gotten the call only moments after the police arrived to come and collect the children, who would go into protective custody until the incident was resolved and the home deemed safe. "Lily! Is everything alright? What happened?"

"Sandy, thank god you’re here. I think everyone’s okay. Except Miguel. He’s going to have a headache. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy," she muttered sarcastically. "It looks like he broke the door down and Maria greeted him with a two-by-four. The bad news is that she’s been arrested too."

"Why don’t you come with me inside? The kids know you and they won’t be as scared." The two women entered the small home to find two small children sitting with a police officer in a back room. Each was holding a brand new teddy bear, courtesy of the LAPD. Every cruiser on the force held at least one of the stuffed animals to be distributed in moments just like this one. The children lit up when they saw the familiar faces.

"Hi there," Sandy started. "It was pretty scary tonight, wasn’t it?" Lily admired her friend for her professional skill and dedication, but especially for the way she interacted with the children in her care. "Lily’s going to go help your mom tonight, but I need you guys to come with me for now. Can you do that?"

The girl nodded, and pulled her younger brother by the hand. "Is mommy hurt?"

"No," Lily answered. "Your mother is fine, and I’m going to bring her back soon." She held her anger in check while she was with the children.

Central Booking was the social hub of LA at three in the morning. Prostitutes and their johns, drug dealers, burglars, barroom brawlers and all their lawyers filled the hallways awaiting their turn. It was going to be a very long night.

Lily and her client were called in at 4:15, along with Miguel and his lawyer, Pete Simpkins. "I don’t want my client spending the night here," Lily said firmly to the booking officer.

"It’s out of my hands. The statutes are there to cool everyone off. You can get her out in the morning." The booking officer prepared the forms, and the Esperanzas were escorted through the secure gate where they would be searched and given color-coded jumpsuits, then taken by elevator to the jail’s secure upper floors.

Lily knew the statutes well. "Look, this is an open and shut case of self defense. That lunatic broke down the front door. Mrs. Esperanza had a right to defend herself against someone entering her home." Her voice rose, but she was not yet shouting. However, all she was getting was a blank look. "You know as well as I do that the officers had discretion here. They only brought her in because they were too goddamned lazy to do the work on the scene to settle it." Now she was fuming.

"Lily, can we go somewhere and talk?" Simpkins motioned toward the door.

"Not unless you’re going to drop the charges and give that bastard up!" she retorted angrily. With that, she gathered her briefcase and jacket and stormed back into the busy hallway.

"Wait! We need to talk or this is going to happen again and next time, somebody’s really going to get hurt," he pleaded.

She turned and poked a finger into Simpkin’s chest. "Then you need to explain to your client that he blew it big time! He lost custody in the first place because he can’t control his goddamned temper. Now he shows up drunk and breaks the door down. What does he expect?" The diminutive attorney stepped back and glared at her opposing counsel. "Talk to me when you’ve gotten your client into an anger management class. I’m getting a fucking restraining order first thing in the morning, and if he shows up again within a hundred yards of their house, he’s going to jail!"

Pete was taken aback by the veracity of the lawyer’s threats. He and Lily had always enjoyed a respectful working relationship, but this was not the professional level-headed woman he was used to seeing in court. "Lily, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but it wouldn’t hurt if you sat in on a couple of those seminars too." He waited to gauge her response before continuing. A moment passed, and the woman physically slumped, as if absorbing his words.

"I’m sorry, Pete," she finally said, almost too low to hear. "I… What can we do? I’m listening."

The tall attorney let out a breath. "Miguel tells me that Maria hasn’t been letting him have visitation. She leaves and takes the kids when it’s time for him to come over. He hasn’t seen them since before Christmas."

"Why didn’t he come to the court?"

"He didn’t understand that he could. He thought since she was granted custody, it was up to her. That’s my fault for not making it clear."

"I’ll talk to her tomorrow," she promised. "Can you see about getting him into a class? I really think it will help."

"Sure."

Lily turned to walk away, but Pete stopped her. "Whatever it is, Lily, good luck with it."

"Thanks. I… I’m sorry for being such a jerk."

*  *  *

"I can’t believe you’re really here." Carolyn looked across the table at her friend. The face was still beautiful, but the stress was evident in the firm set of her mouth and the serious blue eyes. Carolyn had brought Anna to the harbor for lunch, thinking they both could talk more candidly without Vicki around.

"Thanks for letting me come. I… I didn’t know who else to turn to. I regret that we didn’t stay close. We really shared so much." The years fell away as they talked, each realizing that the other had changed little from the friend they had known in school.

"So why don’t you tell me about this woman you’ve met," Carolyn prodded as they left the restaurant for a walk along the waterfront.

Anna took her friend through the dramatic story of the earthquake, and of finding Lily after her divorce. She recounted the baseball game and the ride from San Diego, the boat trip, "the first time I ever consciously realized I was looking at another woman’s breasts! Now I think I probably always have, but the sight of hers in that bathing suit just pushed a button in me or something!"

"I used to look at your breasts all the time," Carolyn laughed.

Anna blushed slightly, but took the comment in stride. "Well, if I had known that at the time, I might have stood up straighter, and worn something skimpier. Who knows?"

Who knows indeed? Though it was gnawing at the programmer that there might have been a chance for them long ago, this was about the here and now. Vicki was the here and now for Carolyn, and Lily was the same for Anna. "So go on. What else?"

Anna told her of the camping trip…

"You? I don’t believe you! You’re making this up."

Ignoring her friend’s sarcastic response, Anna continued with the story of her father’s rude remarks, the trip to San Jose, and Thanksgiving in Tahoe, emphasizing the looks they exchanged on the slope when Lily fell. "I swear, if Todd hadn’t come over right at that moment, I think I might have just kissed her!" She finished with the story of Todd in the kitchen. "And now, she doesn’t want to get together any more. She doesn’t say no, she just says she’s too busy, or she ducks my calls altogether. I want to talk to her about what’s really going on, but I need to be prepared for her answer."

Carolyn was quiet as she digested the tale. Finally, she began. "Well, I agree that she probably has feelings for you that go beyond friendship. You have sort of an irresistible quality about you." She winked at the dark-haired woman. "But if she saw you kissing Todd…”

"I wasn’t kissing Todd. He was kissing me!" she said indignantly.

"Lily has no way of knowing that. What she saw was the two of you kissing. As long as she had hope that you might be interested in her, she was going to stay close and be your best friend. As soon as that possibility disappeared, she needed to run away to protect herself." The familiar feelings washed over Carolyn. She was certain that she was reading Lily perfectly. "I’m the voice of experience here, Anna. I know exactly how she feels." She waited for her words to register, then continued. "Lily is a lesbian. Lesbians run the risk all the time of falling in love with straight women. It’s not something we can help. But once we see the handwriting on the wall, that self-preservation thing kicks in and there’s nothing to do but run."

"She doesn’t need to run from me. I’m not going to hurt her," Anna protested. "And I’m not all that certain that I’m straight," she added, almost inaudibly. "But that’s an issue for another day. Right now, I just need to fix things with Lily."

Carolyn thought hard about what Anna was saying, pretty sure that the woman had never before considered the possibility of being gay. "Anna, whether or not you’re straight is more important than you think. It would be devastating for Lily if you were to wake up someday and decide that you need something else that she can’t give you. And if she has to live with that possibility every day, it will be pretty unhealthy for both of you. There’s nothing but pain in that." She let the words settle. "You need to think about whether or not you’re ready for a relationship with Lily on her terms. She wants to hold you and kiss you and touch you. If you’re going to go forward with her, you’re going to have to want that too."

Anna grew very quiet as she processed her friend’s words. She understood what Lily needed, but she hadn’t let herself dwell on those thoughts. It was just too overwhelming. "You know, I really loved you a lot back in college, Carolyn. I might even have been in love with you, but I was pretty naïve about things like that. I probably would have done anything you asked, just to please you."

"Is that how you feel about Lily? That you want to be… physical with her just to please her? Just to keep her as a friend?"

"No Carolyn. I want it for me too," she admitted it for the first time. "I’ve never wanted anyone this much in my whole life." It was true. The idea of making love with Lily was more exciting than anything she had ever felt.

"Then tell her." Those three words summed it all up, as far as Carolyn was concerned.

"What if she doesn’t feel the same way? And how can I make her trust me not to hurt her?"

"Believe me, she feels the same way. But the trust thing is going to take time. What you have to understand–and this is the hard part–is that everything has to come from you. Lily won’t act on her feelings. There’s too much at risk. She’s worried that you’ll reject her, and despise her for having those feelings about you. She can’t bear that." She saw the confused look on her friend’s face. "I know this, Anna. It’s the truth. You have to be the one to move this relationship forward."

*  *  *

Anna had thoroughly enjoyed the evening with Carolyn and Vicki. The pair talked about how they met and what they felt for each other. Each told a heart-wrenching tale of coming out, the problems it caused with their families, the friends they lost along the way. Nonetheless, both would go through it all again a hundred times to reach the happiness they now had with one another.

Anna wanted that kind of happiness, and now more than ever, she was certain that Lily was the key. On the flight home, her thoughts strayed to the problems this might cause for her father, but she knew that Kim and Hal would be there for her. David was a pretty cool kid, but it was bound to be weird for him. Martine’s acceptance would be crucial to smoothing things at home. Without her support, this could drive a permanent wedge between them all.

Arriving home after seven, Anna double-checked her tickets and travel documents. She unpacked her small bag from the Seattle trip, then began the task of packing for nine days abroad. When she had finished, the exhausted woman set her bags by the door and went to bed. The car would come for her at six in the morning.

Anna had hoped to have this situation with Lily resolved before they left, but it was now after midnight. She had put off thinking about it as she took care of the final details for her trip, but now as she lay in bed, thoughts of the beautiful blonde filled her head.

*  *  *

"I’m coming!" Who on earth is knocking at this hour? Looking through the peephole, Lily saw the most beautiful–and unsettling–site she could have imagined. She had already turned on the lights and yelled through the door, so it was too late to pretend she wasn’t home. As she opened the door, the dark-haired woman pushed through without waiting for an invitation. Even in a sweatshirt and jeans, the woman was stunning. Lily suddenly worried that something had happened to bring her friend out so late. "Anna? Is everything alright?"

Anna took in the sight of her rumpled friend, dressed for bed in flannel boxers and a tank top. "No, it’s not alright, Lily." She wanted just to reach out and pull the little blonde to her, but she held back, fearful that Lily would push her away again. Her confidence now wavering, she said what she had rehearsed in the car on the way over. "I can’t stand what’s happened between us. We’d gotten to be such good friends, and now everything’s changed. I… want us to be close again."

Lily’s own need to be close to the dark-haired woman was almost overpowering. She wanted desperately to give in, to accept on Anna’s terms the simple offer of friendship. But self-preservation was a powerful instinct. She needed to guard her own heart. Meeting the blue eyes with a steel resolve, the smaller woman answered, "I can’t, Anna. I just can’t." Please don’t push this.

But Anna wouldn’t let it go. "What can’t you do? Please talk to me, Lily. Doesn’t this hurt you like it hurts me?" the tall woman pleaded.

"Yes, of course it does. But some things are out of our control. I want very much to be your friend again, but I just can’t right now."

Anna remembered again Carolyn’s counsel that only she could move things forward. It was time to take a step. "Is it because of Todd?"

She knows! The tears that Lily had been holding back since the day she left Tahoe returned unbidden, not from her eyes, but from her heart. She sank to the arm of the couch and looked blankly into the dark room, unable to meet her friend’s eyes. "Yes," she whispered. There. It’s out. "I know that you’ll never think of me that way… or want me the way I want you. But… I can’t stand by you as a friend and watch you fall in love with somebody else. I’m just not a big enough person to do that." Lily only hoped that Anna would be able to respect her finally for telling the truth.

The dark-haired woman strode silently to couch. Grasping the small hands, she drew the heartbroken girl to her feet. Locking blue eyes onto green, Anna searched her heart for the right words. "You’re wrong, Lily. It’s you that I want." Ever so slowly, she lowered her head and captured the waiting lips with her own.

PART 11

L EAVING NO ROOM for doubt that this might only have been a friendly gesture, Anna pressed closer and raked her tongue tentatively across the smaller woman’s lips to urge them apart. Staggered by the surge of emotions that welled up in her chest, she moaned into Lily’s open mouth.

If I’m dreaming, god help the fool that wakes me up! For Lily, it was more than just a meeting of lips. It was an unmistakable confession from both, and the blonde was completely overpowered by the sensation. Anna’s lips were the softest she’d ever kissed, and she pulled the woman’s head closer, slipping her tongue inside the warm mouth.

Too soon the kiss ended, both women short of breath. Not willing to give up this intimate embrace, Lily buried her face into the long slender neck. Anxiety simmered underneath as she worried that Anna would suddenly have doubts. The words replayed in her head. "It’s you that I want." If there was a chance on earth that they could really be together, Lily knew she would walk through the fires of hell to make it happen.

The tall woman pulled her closer, cupping the blonde head with her palm, swaying ever so slightly to keep the sensations alive. She held Lily like that for several minutes, not uttering a sound. Gradually, Anna felt the strain of the last six weeks recede. In its place was quiet, like a settling of her soul. "This is right," she whispered. "I feel so still inside."

"Me too. I want to stay in this… place, wherever it is." They stood together silently for another few minutes, soaking up the calm. Lily would take the next step. Leaning back, she studied the tall woman’s visage, looking for signs of awkwardness or uncertainty. Finding neither, she brought her face closer, green eyes darting between Anna’s eyes and lips. Turning her head slightly at the last instant, the women shared a breath as their lips met again.

The second kiss held none of the shyness of the first. It deepened with fervor as each was swept up again in excitement and wonder. Arms and hands remained still, holding firmly to the other. This was not about passion, but about connection. When they broke again, Anna kissed the smaller woman’s nose, and rested her cheek atop the blonde hair.

"I have to go. I need to leave for the airport at six." She didn’t release her hold, even as she talked of leaving.

"No. I’m afraid I can’t allow that." Lily tightened her grip.

"Dad and I are going to Munich tomorrow for nine days. I’d like to go thinking you and I were okay again."

"We’re okay, Amazon."

*  *  *

Something is different about Anna this morning. George Kaklis and his daughter boarded the Lufthansa 747 at 7:45 a.m., taking their seats in first class. Anna was obviously excited, more so than George could remember on any of their previous trips. "Are you looking forward to Munich?" he asked his smiling daughter.

"I’m looking forward to being with you. It’ll be fun to see the new designs. I just wish they would schedule this in July instead of January," she lamented. Anna hated being cold.

"You’re in a good mood," her father fished.

"Yes, I am." But she was not forthcoming, so George let it drop for the time being. Breakfast was served over Arizona, and to his surprise, Anna then pulled a blanket over her head and slept all the way to New York.

*  *  *

Lily was running on pure adrenalin. In the office by 7:30, she was smiling and friendly, a welcome change from the surly nature her co-workers had come to expect.

Unable to sleep at all after Anna’s late night visit, Lily relived the kisses, the embrace, the soft words of assurance. Truth be told, she feared that if she went to sleep, she would awaken and none of this would have really happened. Her day started off with a thrill when Anna had called her from the limo at 6:15.

   "I’ve only got a minute. The driver has gone to the house to collect Dad’s things."

"If a minute’s all you’ve got, I’ll take it."

"Thank you for talking with me in last night."

"Thanks for not taking no for an answer. And for coming back after I was so… mean."

"It’s forgotten. I understand why you ran."

"You do?"

"Yeah, Kim helped me figure out the Todd part." Lily cringed. She didn’t want to think about that. "He kissed me, not the other way around. I told him that night I wasn’t interested."

"You’re kidding." If what Anna said was true, Lily was responsible for her own misery of the past six weeks.

"Honest. I was already trying to figure things out. About my feelings for you, that is."

"Well, I like what you decided."

"They’re coming toward the car. I should go. I… I’ll miss you."

"Me too you. Travel safely."

Anna’s secretive behavior on the phone made the attorney a little uneasy, but she waved it off. This was all new to the beautiful woman, Lily reasoned with her rational mind. She herself wanted to bang a drum on the street corner and shout that Anna Kaklis had kissed her! But she was determined that Anna would lead the way. I’m not going to screw this one up with expectations about how she should act.

*  *  *

Christ! Nine days was a long time! Her only contact with Anna had been three "thinking about you–hope you’re doing okay" messages left on her voicemail, once while she was in court, another while she had been in the shower, and the third while she was taking out the garbage at home. Now resigned to let the garbage reach the ceiling, Lily planted herself on the couch all weekend waiting for the phone to ring.

Wednesday afternoon. Four more days! Anna’s plane got in at 4:07 on Wednesday afternoon. She would probably be exhausted from her trip, and go straight home. Then she’d want to go to the dealership because she needed to check on things. And she’d probably have to sleep a lot on account of the jet lag. And see her family. Either way, I’ll be lucky if I see her again before next weekend.

Lily’s misery was interrupted by the loud ringing of phones all over the tiny apartment. She had turned all the ringers to the max to be sure that she wouldn’t inadvertently miss a call. "Hello…this is she… no, I’m not interested… no, really, the only thing I dislike about my current phone service is that you have my number." With that, she hung up the receiver, immediately noticing the blinking message light.

Shitfuckhelldamnscrew! Another Lauren-ism.

*  *  *

God, this was frustrating! Anna had tried to guess when Lily would be at home or at her desk, but she hadn’t been able to get through. The time difference made it difficult, and the seminars left her with little free time. She’d hoped it would be easier to connect on the weekend, but that too went to voicemail.

Or maybe Lily’s avoiding my calls again. Anna hadn’t wanted to consider that possibility, but it had taken her a week or more after Tahoe to realize that getting bounced was no accident. She couldn’t stop the niggling doubts as she replayed in her head the phone conversation from the car. Was it disbelief she heard in Lily’s voice when she told her about Todd? Or maybe Lily simply didn’t have the patience to deal with someone who couldn’t seem to get her head on straight.

Curious George could stand it no longer. Anna had been cheerful and upbeat when they left LA. Now, a week later, she was distracted and withdrawn. Over dinner on Monday night, he gently broached the subject. "Sweetheart, is everything okay?"

"Of course. The seminars are good. The company is absolutely fabulous. It isn’t snowing. What more could a girl want?" she answered with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

"You know, I’m really enjoying having this time with you, too. We don’t seem to spend enough time together. That’s why I always look forward to these trips." When he got no response, he knew he would have to be more direct. Something–or someone–was consuming his daughter’s thoughts. "It’s just that you seemed so happy when we left, and now you’re quiet again."

"It’s nothing to worry about, Dad." Anna didn’t want to have this conversation. "It’s just a small personal problem. I’ll work it out."

A personal problem? Was Anna seeing someone? She was an extremely private person, not at all quick to share information about the men she dated. In fact, she had been seeing Scott for nearly two months before she introduced him to anyone in the family. Surely, George reasoned, she could use my guidance here. "Anna, I’m your father. I’ve been watching you worry about things all by yourself for 32 years. I want to help." She wouldn’t meet his eyes. "Please let me in there."

The woman sighed. She could resist almost any force on earth, but she couldn’t refuse her father. What is it they say? Stay as close to the truth as possible. "You remember my friend Lily, from the earthquake?"

"Yes, of course." Where was this going?

"Well," she started hesitantly, "we had a misunderstanding, but I thought we had it cleared up before I left. Now I’m not so sure." Anna still hadn’t met her father’s eyes. "I’m just worried about losing her friendship."

George weighed the possibilities. His daughter didn’t have many close friends, so he knew that Lily was important to her. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to it than that, and it made him extremely uncomfortable. His first instinct was to dismiss out of hand his daughter’s irrational worry about the state of a casual friendship. He bit his tongue though, remembering Martine’s warning about inadvertently pushing Anna into something. Still, he needed to say something to convey both support and caution. "Sweetheart, I understand that Lily is important to you, but maybe it’s time to start putting that terrible earthquake ordeal behind you. You can’t let things like casual friendships rule your life. Your family, the business, these things are much more important in the grand scheme of things. Don’t you agree?" That was a pretty good argument, if I must say so myself. But his daughter’s response nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Standing abruptly, Anna gathered her jacket and purse. "You know, I think I’m going to blow off the last day." It was a half-day actually, followed by a luncheon, then a cocktail party for the North American dealership owners tomorrow night. "I hope you don’t mind. I’m just going to go back to my room and call the airline. If you want to join me, I’ll change your ticket too, but I don’t mind if you want to stay until Wednesday."

Well, that certainly went well, George thought sarcastically. "No, you go ahead."

*  *  *

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

The attorney was drafting an update to the court on her counsel with Maria Esperanza to cooperate with the court-ordered visitation schedule for Miguel. True to his word, Pete Simpkins had enrolled the volatile father in classes for anger management. It looked like all of them were headed for a happy ending. Lost in her work–and mercifully distracted–she missed seeing the beautiful woman exit the white Town Car at the curb.

Anna tried the door at the main entrance, but it was locked for the night. 6:40. The flight from JFK had been delayed 90 minutes, but the car she had arranged had been waiting for her at the airport. Thinking her friend might be working late, Anna took a chance and asked the driver to bring her to the Braxton Street Law Clinic. She grew excited when she saw the light on in Lily’s second floor office but without entry to the building, the phone was the only option. If the blonde were ducking her calls, she’d just have to get back in the car and go home.

The tall woman walked back to the limo to retrieve the phone from her carry-on. Nervously, she paced through the menu options and pressed the call command for "Lily’s office." Leaning her tall frame against the door of the Town Car, her heart skipped a beat as the blonde appeared in her view.

"Lilian Stuart," she announced formally, slapping the button to activate the speaker phone.

"Hi Lily. It’s Anna." She held her breath as she waited for her friend’s response.

The attorney was speechless.

This was not good.

"Are you there?"

Lily lunged to grab the receiver, very nearly disconnecting the call. "Anna! Finally! I can’t believe it! I was about to leave and I would have missed you again! Oh my god!" To say that the blonde was excited would have been a bit of an understatement. She was nearly hyperventilating. "This has been so frustrating. I’m going to be so happy to see you!"

Whew! The tired traveler was flooded with relief. "Well, then you may want to look outside your window."

Lily made her way to the window and parted the blinds. There in the twilight leaning against the limo was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

*  *  *

I can’t believe how easy this is, thought Anna. She and Lily had spent almost every evening together since she’d returned from Germany. They’d slid effortlessly back into their old playfulness, the tension of the last six weeks forgotten. Looking back, Anna realized that she and her husband had never shared this kind of compatibility. In fact, any casualness they enjoyed as they got to know one another seemed to disappear once they moved their relationship to a romantic level. At that point, the woman suddenly became more self-conscious, and she had difficulty with simple conversation. If it had felt this natural with Scott, I might never have let him go.

Tonight, Anna was stretched out on Lily’s couch reading the current issue of Car & Driver while the attorney sat close by on the floor reviewing a stack of legal briefs. Neither needed the other’s attention, but each relished the closeness. Their silence was relaxed, and every so often the blonde would reach behind her absently and stroke the beautiful woman’s arm, leg or…”You know, I’m not going to let you get your work done if you keep that up."

Lily reluctantly removed her hand from the woman’s shapely hip, arching her eyebrows suggestively as she turned. "Then maybe I should just put my work away." With that, she let the papers fall and climbed onto the couch, draping her entire body along the length of the muscular frame. "This… couch… is… awfully… lumpy. I don’t know… how I ever… fell asleep here." She burrowed into the now giggling mass underneath her. "But it’s definitely… softer in some places."

The kiss that followed started innocently, as just another chance to connect. As it lengthened, it deepened, and soon both bodies were responding to the exchange, moving in a slow rhythm against one another. As Lily’s hand drifted up to softly stroke the side of Anna’s breast, the taller woman gently caressed the shapely rear beneath her own fingers. This was the first clearly sexual overture of their young relationship, and it was escalating too quickly for either woman to keep her head.

"Oh my… you’re incredible," the blonde said as she stilled and dropped her lips to the woman’s neck.

"Wow, I…” never felt anything like that in my whole life. "Wow," she said again simply. Anna had always felt that she controlled her own desires, that things moved to the next level because she decided it was time. That wasn’t the case here. If circumstances were different–that is, if it weren’t already ten o’clock on a night before both were due at work early the next day–Anna was pretty sure that she wouldn’t have wanted to stop. She had wanted to be certain of her feelings before she gave in to her body’s response, but it was her body that seemed to be running this show. This was so different from anything in her past, like a craving.

Lily shifted and sat up beside the beautiful woman. "I could get lost in you so easily." Lily knew that her sentiment meant more than just the physical desire that she felt. She was falling deeply in love.

Anna was drowning in these new sensations, and couldn’t think of what to say. She squeezed Lily’s hand and smiled.

Well, that went over well. Lily knew she had to give this time.

*  *  *

"Lilian Stuart," the attorney answered crisply. She was due in court this afternoon for jury selection in a housing discrimination case. It was Tony’s case, but he always asked her to sit in when he picked a jury. You have a gift for reading people, he had said.

"Hi there, sweetheart. How’s your day?"

Sweetheart! Lily nearly swooned. "Hi yourself. It just got better. What’s up?" She stretched from her desk to push her office door closed.

"I wanted to ask you something. I’m having dinner with Kim tonight. I’ve been thinking that I’d like to tell her about us, if it’s okay with you." They had decided–actually Anna had asked–to keep their relationship secret until they were more certain of their feelings. Lily took it as a good sign that the stoic woman was ready to share this with her sister. On the other hand, it was also a risk. Kim’s disapproval would be difficult to overcome.

"Of course it’s okay." More tentatively, she added, "Will you tell me how it goes?"

Anna realized that Lily was worried. "Sure, but don’t worry about it. Kim likes you, and I think she has pretty good idea what’s going on. She’ll be okay with it, I’m sure."

Grateful for the assurance, Lily countered, "Well, I hope it goes okay. How would you feel if I talked to Mom?" She felt guilty for keeping something so important from her mother, and she hoped that Anna would acquiesce.

"Go ahead. I know how close the two of you are. I guess it was silly of me to ask you to wait in the first place." Anna really envied the closeness between Eleanor and her daughter. She liked to think that she would have been as close to own mother.

"Not silly at all. I know this is all new for you, and it’ll take some time to get used to it." Lily paused before she continued. She didn’t want to scare her new love away, but Anna needed to be prepared for some of the problems she might face. "As much as I hate to say it, you’re right to worry about what others might think. People have prejudices, and some of the folks that you’ve known for years might look at you differently if they knew about us."

"Lily, I… how do I say this?" The blonde’s stomach suddenly lurched with anxiety. "It isn’t you being a woman that scares me. It’s… it’s making another mistake for everybody to see."

Lily’s heart went out to the woman. As they drove to San Jose last fall, Anna had described in detail the humiliation she felt when she divorced Scott after only a year of marriage. Against her own better judgment, George and Martine had staged an elaborate wedding and reception, with more than 400 people in attendance. Anna had been almost embarrassed at the opulent display, made worse by its undoing so soon after. Lily reassured her friend, "We’ll take our time with everything. I want you to be sure."

*  *  *

"So what’s it like making love with another woman?" Kim was not one to beat around the bush, especially when her sister–to her demented delight–embarrassed so easily.

"I can’t believe you went there so fast!" Anna retorted indignantly. "I just told you about this sweet woman who has touched my heart, and the wonderful sense of romance we’re enjoying. But no! All you want to hear about is the sex!"

"Yeah, yeah. So? What’s it like?" the imp persisted.

Anna sighed and dropped her shoulders in surrender. Kim was incorrigible. "I don’t know. We haven’t… exactly done anything."

"Well, what are you waiting for!"

"It’s not a race, you know. Not everybody gives in so easily to their most basal instincts, like two people I know who shall remain nameless but who can’t keep their hands off one another!"

"Don’t go changing the subject. We’re talking about your sex life here." Kim took special pleasure in tormenting her sister this way, and she was thrilled to see Anna so obviously happy.

"We are not talking about my sex life! I don’t even… know what it is that we do," she mumbled the last part sheepishly. Her sister was the only living soul with whom Anna had shared the details of her intimate experiences with Scott. To her infinite embarrassment, Kim then went on and on about the things she and Hal did between the sheets. She would never look at her brother-in-law–or Al Gore for that matter–the same way again.

"You don’t even know what you do? Well how will you know when you’ve done it?" Little Sister was really having too much fun now. Once she tasted blood, she usually badgered Anna until the shy woman spilled her guts.

"Well, I guess I sort of know what we’ll do, but… people like different things." Anna had never thought much about sexual things. She liked to think of herself as more, ahem… cerebral. Now however, her attentions wandered there almost every time she thought of the cute little blonde. "Lily excites me."

Kim was taken aback by the quiet seriousness of her sister’s last remark. "I’m really happy for you, Sister. What’s it like, the excitement?"

Anna thought of Lily and smiled. "It’s like nothing I’ve ever known. Being with her just makes me so aware of myself, of my own body. I want to feel her hands on me. I want to kiss her and touch her… everywhere. It was never that way with Scott."

"You didn’t like to touch him?" Kim needed to tread carefully. She didn’t want her sister to think she was still teasing.

"It wasn’t that. I just didn’t think about it. When I did touch him, I did it because I knew he wanted me to. But with Lily, it’s like a hunger."

"A hunger." It wasn’t a question, but an understanding. She felt the same way about Hal. "So why don’t you feed it?

The tall woman blushed again. "I think that’s going to happen soon."

"Then you’ll tell me everything, won’t you?" The old Kim was back.

In spite of herself, Anna knew she probably would.

*  *  *

"So she doesn’t seem to be afraid of getting involved with a woman?" Eleanor was delighted to hear of the new direction in her daughter’s love life, but was trying to determine the source of the faint apprehension she discerned.

"No, she says she isn’t. I really don’t think that it’s an issue for her." Lily had been bursting with excitement to finally have the chance to tell someone about Anna. But as she talked with her mom, she realized that it was also a chance to explore her own feelings about where things were going. "It’s just that… well, that’s not the same as saying that you’re gay. And if she’s not, then she’ll realize it eventually. And there won’t be anything either of us can do about it."

"You know, Katharine had a favorite expression she would use whenever someone worried too much about things that might not happen. She used to say ‘Don’t go borrowing trouble.’ I think that’s what you’re doing here, sweetheart. You need to be enjoying this time, not worrying about it."

As always, Eleanor was absolutely right. Even if Lily couldn’t control her creeping doubts, she needed to savor this time getting to know Anna in a more intimate way. "You’re right Mom. I wish Katharine were here to see this. She’d probably get a kick out of seeing me so frazzled. I tell you, it’s like nothing else in the world exists."

"So… are things… progressing?"

"What things?" It suddenly dawned on Lily what her mother was asking. "Oh no! No way am I going to talk with my mother about that! I have limits!"

"Okay, suit yourself. But I guess that means you don’t want to hear what’s new with Bill Mueller and me." Bill was a longtime family friend. In one of life’s cruel ironies, the oncologist had lost his wife of 21 years to cancer three years ago. Lily knew that her mother spent a good deal of time with the doctor, but she had no idea that their relationship had blossomed into a romance.

"What’s this? You and Bill? Tell me everything! No, on second thought, a girl doesn’t need to hear these things about her mom either."

"Well, that’s a good thing. A woman’s got to have some secrets," she chided.

*  *  *

"It was a very moving service, don’t you think?" Hal offered as they left the Presbyterian Church on Endicott Avenue. Kim, Anna and Lily were near tears and unable to do anything but nod their agreement. Tony wrapped his arm around the blonde attorney as a gesture of support. One year ago today, 27 people had lost their lives at the Endicott Mall. Tonight’s memorial service commemorated those lives and honored the heroes who had rescued scores of survivors. For Anna and Lily, it also marked the day that they met.

After a quick dinner with their friends, the two women headed to Anna’s Bel Air house in the X5. "What on earth did you say to your sister? She kept looking at me, grinning like she knew something I didn’t know. I swear she winked at me when you took my hand in the church."

"Oh, I just told her that you were special to me, and that we were having a lot of fun getting to know each other." Anna reached out and took Lily’s free hand again.

What does ‘special’ mean? "So what did she say?"

"She was… inquisitive."

Lily sensed that Anna wasn’t telling her everything, and it allowed her insecurities to creep in. Had Kim tried to dissuade Anna from going forward? Pulling into the driveway, she turned off the engine and shifted sideways to face her friend. "You mean inquisitive like ‘Are you happy with how things are going?’ or inquisitive like ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’"

The tall woman sighed and looked out the window so the blonde wouldn’t see her blush. She hoped above all that Lily wouldn’t tease her like Kim had. She had never been able to talk about intimate things openly without getting embarrassed. "No, inquisitive like ‘What’s the sex like?’"

"Oh." The blonde’s stomach fluttered, as it did every time she thought of making love with this beautiful woman. She couldn’t see her friend’s reddened face in the dark, but she surmised from the turned head that Anna was unsettled by the thought. Her heart sank with the acknowledgment that they might never progress beyond friendship, but if friendship was all that Anna could give, Lily knew she would accept it just to be near her. "Anna, look. I don’t have any expectations about that. I just want to enjoy being together. If it happens, I know it will be wonderful. If it doesn’t, we’ll be okay." And I will die.

Realizing that the blonde had misread her embarrassment as apprehension, Anna knew she needed to clear things up. "Come inside for a minute," she invited. They had already decided to call it an early night, since the car dealer needed to be on the lot at seven on Saturday morning. Lily stepped into the foyer, and Anna wrapped her arms around the small body. "Don’t read anything into that stuff with Kim. She lives to make me blush, and she’s pretty good at it."

"So you were embarrassed?" Lily was confused. So it wasn’t…

"Yeah, a little. But it doesn’t mean that we won’t… you know." Anna couldn’t hide this growing blush in the soft light of the foyer.

Nor could Lily hide her relief. Oh god, I’m in love with this woman! She tightened her arms around Anna’s waist and laid her head on the tall woman’s shoulder. "Hey, I’m not going to tease you. I’m just glad to know that you’re thinking about me that way."

"Of course I am." Are you kidding? "You are so special to me. But I get the feeling you don’t really know that. Sometimes I don’t think I do a very good job of showing you how I feel."

"No, you do fine. You’re special to me too." Very special. "I think I’m just a naturally insecure person. Probably my birth mother’s legacy. I usually expect the worst, then I’m not disappointed." As those words left her lips, she grimaced at how pathetic she sounded.

Anna was gradually coming to understand the fragile state of Lily’s heart. All of those people who had walked away from her–her mother, her high school friends, her lovers–had missed the chance to know Lily’s capacity to give. She took the small hands and clutched them to her chest, "I don’t want you to be insecure about my feelings for you. If you want to make love, I’m ready."

The blonde was so surprised by the statement that she couldn’t immediately respond. She was almost ashamed that her admissions of insecurity had elicited such an offer. "Anna, the thought of making love with you excites me almost more than I can stand. But when we make love, and I hope we will, I want it to be because we’re both ready, not because I’ve made you feel like you have to prove something to me. I need to handle my own insecurities."

The dark-haired woman relaxed, resting her cheek against the blonde head. They stood that way for several minutes, both warring with the need to share something. Talk of making love had definitely raised the stakes.

Guarding your emotions is a bunch of crap if it means not being true to yourself. "I love you, Amazon."

Anna’s arms tightened firmly around her. "I love you too, Pygmy."

PART 12

"I DON’T UNDERSTAND you George. You’ve always been pretty open minded about this sort of thing. Why is this different?"

"I don’t have anything against gays. You should know that. I just don’t understand why she’s being invited to our family functions."

Martine had known this wouldn’t go over well, but she was glad they were having the discussion this afternoon in their bedroom instead of tonight when everyone was there. "She’s invited because Anna asked if she could come."

"But this is a family thing…”

"George, we’ve always had an open door for the children’s friends, too. Is this really about tonight being a family thing? Or is it about Anna having a lesbian as such a close friend?" Martine had been dodging this discussion ever since her husband had returned from Munich alone and in a foul mood, but it was time to finally have it out.

George finally voiced his worst fear. "Has it occurred to you that they might be more than just friends, or have you just decided not to see that?"

"Yes, it has occurred to me, but I don’t think that it’s any of our business unless she makes it that way."

"So I take it you don’t have any problem with your daughter being a lesbian?"

"I care that she’s happy." Martine meant that. "If it turns out that Lily is the one who makes her happy–and I’m not saying that’s the case at all–but if it is, then I’ll accept it."

"Well I’m not going to sit by and watch her make a fool of herself in front of everybody. She just needs to see that it’s all wrong for her."

"George, why is it that you think you know best what’s right or wrong for Anna! She’s 32 years old. Shouldn’t she be allowed to make these choices for herself?" Martine was on the verge of anger at her husband’s arrogance.

"She made a perfectly good choice when she married Scott. I’d love to know if her little friend was the one who convinced her to walk away from her marriage. You know, it was right after they met during the earthquake that the two of them split up." George hadn’t thought of this before, but it made perfect sense.

"Oh, that’s nonsense and you know it! Have you ever thought that maybe you were wrong about Scott? What if he wasn’t right for her? What if Anna married him because she was more intent on pleasing you than she was pleasing herself?"

The man knew there was at least some truth in his wife’s words. He had been lucky enough in this lifetime to love not one but two women with all his heart, and he never once saw the proof of that kind of love for Scott Rutherford in his daughter’s eyes.

Martine saw the resignation in her husband’s slumped shoulders as he pondered his own role in Anna’s failed marriage. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she comforted him, "George, it’s time for us to step back and be confident in the way we raised her. Her happiness is all that matters, and it’s important that she make those decisions by herself, and for herself."

*  *  *

George was mesmerized by the dynamic between his daughter and her friend. They were definitely… familiar. The women seemed to touch almost every time they spoke to one another, and the man was certain that the hands underneath the table were joined from time to time.

Despite George’s reservations, this night’s dinner was more fun than anyone could remember. David pumped Lily for the inside scoop on living in the South Bay, since he was eyeing Stanford for his bachelor’s in business administration. "Hey, I’m sure Anna can pull some strings and get you into Southern Cal," Kim kidded, her reference to Scott’s position on the faculty. The shortest Kaklis–at five feet ten–then shocked everyone by sending a glazed carrot across the table at her sister’s forehead.

When the laughter finally died down, Martine stood and sternly threatened the next person who threw food at her table. Each member of the Kaklis clan glanced sheepishly at one another, not willing to challenge the matriarch. The blonde guest was quiet as a mouse, almost uncomfortable with the woman’s harsh reprimand. As Martine returned to her seat, she startled everyone when her hand unexpectedly tipped a water glass into Anna’s lap, sending the tall woman leaping from her chair. Several seconds of stunned silence passed as everyone realized her prank. "Oh, clumsy me," Martine sighed with a wry smile.

Once she’d dried off in the kitchen, Anna returned to the table, her beautiful blue eyes shooting mock daggers at her mother. Martine, however, was the picture of innocence.

Kim’s joke was the opening George had been looking for. "So Anna, have you heard anything from Scott recently?" He really missed talking business with his son-in-law, and had held out for a reconciliation until Anna had told them of his second marriage. Neither he nor Martine had any idea of Scott’s unfaithfulness.

"No, Dad. I’d say he’s gotten on with his life." And I’ve gotten on with mine. Quickly changing the subject, she turned to her brother and told him, "I think Stanford’s a great choice, David. Anywhere but Berkeley."

"Hear, hear!" cheered the Bruin in agreement. With a warning look, Martine double dared Kim or Hal to throw any of the food on their plates.

*  *  *

"So tell me again what’s in South Carolina." Lily was talking on her portable phone as she got ready for bed.

"It’s a BMW plant. In fact, it’s where your little X5 was born." She said the latter with an intonation of family pride. She too was preparing for bed. "They’re previewing next year’s models."

"I thought that’s what you went to Germany for." The blonde wasn’t whining. She just didn’t understand.

"No, the design center in Germany showed us what the next generation of cars will look like, those about three years away. I’ve already seen these cars in South Carolina, but we get to take a last look at the changes before they roll them out." Anna got excited when she talked about her work. There was a mechanical engineering nerd inside that beautiful casing.

"So when will you be back?" Saturday was Lily’s 30th birthday, but her brain had already stored the fact that Anna would not be in town.

"My plane gets back on Sunday around six o’clock. Maybe somebody could meet me at the airport," she hinted.

"But I’ll be 30 by then. If I show up at the airport, I’ll probably need a skycap with a wheelchair." Now she was whining. "I’m going to miss you. What am I supposed to do by myself for five whole days?"

"Think about me." Anna had turned out the lights in her house and was now getting in bed.

"I already do that." Lily too had finished with her own nightly tasks and was pulling back the covers. "Morning, noon and night."

"What do you think about?" Anna settled between the sheets and switched off the bedside lamp. It was after 11, but her plane for Greenville-Spartanburg didn’t leave until 11:30 the following day. She could talk for as long as Lily wanted.

"I think about being with you. About some of the things we’ve done together, like the boat ride, the camping trip, and the time we drove to San Jose right after I got the X5."

"Not very racy. Well, except for the X5 part, Mario." Anna was feeling playful. Lily had finally fessed up about the $534 speeding ticket she had received on her way home from Tahoe.

"Oh, you want racy, do you? Well what do you think about?" The gauntlet was thrown.

"Well… I think about a certain cute little blonde attorney. How sweet her kisses are. How she makes me feel inside." Anna’s tone lost some of its playfulness. She was thinking about how her body had responded to the woman’s touch.

"How do I make you feel?"

Anna had trouble putting such intimate feelings into words, but she wanted to try. She hoped they would be able to talk about these things, especially given her naiveté about what Lily would want from her. She would need Lily’s help to take the next steps in their relationship. "You make me feel warm. My heart beats faster and… my body wants to press against yours." I can’t believe I just said that!

Lily shifted slowly under the sheet. Anna’s words had certainly stirred a response in her own body. "God, you can’t imagine what it does to me to hear you say that."

"Tell me what it does, sweetheart. Tell me what I do for you." Anna focused her thoughts on the beautiful, slender blonde that set her blood racing.

"You make my stomach flutter. My knees go weak. Everything else disappears." She shifted again.

Anna needed to know more, but the thought of asking for what she needed was terrifying. It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about these things at all. On the contrary, she’d been thinking about them more and more every day. She needed to know if she could do this, if this was what she really wanted. "Lily, if I were with you right now, what would you have me do? How would I make love to you?" Anna’s voice was low and sensuous.

There went the stomach flutter. "You want me to tell you how I want to be touched?" This was interesting.

"No, I want you to tell me how you envision me touching you." Anna couldn’t believe the words that left her mouth. She’d never done anything like this before in her life. With uncommon boldness, she asked, "What are you wearing to bed?"

"I’ve got on a long tank top and panties. That’s all." Lily was becoming very aroused.

"Take them off, baby." Anna listened while the woman removed her sleep shirt and panties.

"Okay, they’re off. What about you?"

"I’m taking off my nightshirt too. Now I want to just go there, Lily. Describe it to me." Anna leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes. She wanted to be there with her love. How close could they get?

"Okay, we’re lying together, naked with only a sheet covering us. I’m on my back, and you’re on your side looking down at me."

"Which side am I on?"

"You’re on my right side. So you’re lying on your left side alongside me."

The tall woman rolled onto her left side and pulled a pillow to her. "Tell me what I see when I look at you."

Oh my god!. We’re really going to do this! Lily couldn’t have stopped now if she wanted to. And she definitely didn’t want to. "My eyes. The first thing you see is my eyes. They’re full of love for you. And desire." She paused to let the image settle. "I lift my lips to your face, reaching behind your neck to pull you down." Lily closed her eyes to imagine the sensations. "I’m trembling, and so are you."

Anna could picture Lily’s green eyes. "I’m going to kiss you."

"Yes, your lips are on mine. Then they travel ever so slowly across my cheek, down to my ear." Lily trailed her own hand softly along the path she described. "I feel your warm breath in my ear. Your tongue and your teeth tease my earlobe, then they wander below to my neck. I love to feel your mouth on my neck."

"Yes, your skin is so soft there." Anna’s body began to stir as she imagined her lips and tongue on Lily’s neck.

"You raise up on your arm to look at me. You pull the sheet back to my waist. Your eyes take in the sight of my naked body. I’m aching for your touch, to feel your hands on me." She was.

"Tell me what I see." Anna wanted to see it. Tell me what you look like.

Lily was tentative, but she knew somehow that Anna needed this. "First you see my breasts. My nipples… they’re dark. They’re hard, like pebbles. I need you to touch them."

"Yes." Anna was trembling all over. She pictured again the full breasts she had admired that day on the boat. To that image, she added the hard, dark nipples.

"So you cover my left breast with your palm. You squeeze it softly, then stronger, more possessive." Lily’s own hand began to squeeze her breast. "Oh, I like that," she moaned.

Anna then knew with a certainty that Lily was touching herself. She was becoming crazy with desire.

"Then you take my nipple with your thumb and fingers, and you start to pinch it. Gently at first, then with more pressure. When you tug on it, it makes me gasp for breath." And she did.

"Ahhh." Anna’s fingers pulsated as she imagined them on Lily’s breasts.

"I need to feel your mouth on my breasts. I’m lifting my body up to your face. I feel you take me into your mouth, you feel so good." Her fingers closed again around the nipple, but she imagined the beautiful woman’s mouth. "Your soft tongue draws circles around my nipple, then your lips close around it and you suck it into your mouth. I can feel your teeth teasing me. Your hand has closed around my other nipple and you’re pulling on it with the same rhythm."

"You’re so exciting." Anna had never experienced anything so erotic in all her life.

"My hips are pushing toward you now, in the same rhythm as the sensations in my breasts. My whole body needs you."

Anna’s body was moving rhythmically, matching Lily’s pace.

"You bring your lips to mine again, then you look at my rolling body. I’m hot and I want you so much. Your hands are roaming all over my chest and my stomach and hips." Lily’s own hands stroked the heated planes.

"Yes, I need to feel your naked skin. Tell me what I see when I look down at you."

Lily opens her eyes to describe the sight. "You lower the sheet to my knees. You see the patch of hair that hides me from your eyes. It’s light brown, thick and curly. It’s already damp from what you’re doing to me."

Oh god, Lily. "What am I doing? Tell me." Anna was desperate.

"Oh, you’re exciting me, sweetheart. I want you so much. And you want this, everything I’m offering you."

"Yes, I want it." Anna’s voice was raspy.

"Now I’ve raised my knee so that I can open myself for you."

"I need to touch you, baby." She needed to be closer.

"And I want you to. So badly I might explode. Your hand crosses my stomach and stops to twirl around my navel. You’re such a tease." For Lily, it was no longer her own hand at work. She felt it as though it were Anna’s. "Then you brush against that curly hair. Your fingers run through it, lower, until you feel it getting damp. Then lower… there! Right there!" Lily gasped for breath as she touched herself intimately for the first time since they began.

Anna shuddered with anticipation. "Please, baby! Tell me what I feel."

"You find me wet, so wet! And I’m warm and swollen, begging you to touch all of me. So you slide your long fingers through me. Up and down." Lily moaned softly as she mimicked what her lover would do. After several long moments, she began again. "You linger on the outside, circling my opening. Then you slip two fingers inside."

Anna was shaking with excitement. "Oh, yes. I’m inside you now," she whispered.

"You push deep inside, and you feel me clutch your fingers with my walls. You move inside me, in and out."

"Oh god, you’re so hot."

"I’m moving with you, rocking against you so you’ll reach deeper."

Both women were writhing now, Anna against the pillow, Lily against her own hand.

"Then you slowly pull your fingers out and touch me where I’m hard and swollen. Oh, I need that." Again she grew quiet while she brought herself closer to climax. "Your fingers are making circles, and I’m lifting up off the bed to get closer. To feel more of you." She was drawing deep rapid breaths to keep up with her body’s need. "My fingers are digging into your back, showing you the rhythm I want. Harder, you press harder."

Anna closed her eyes tightly as her senses filled with the image.

"And now I’m coming, baby." Lily filled her lungs with a deep gasp, then released it in short, steady bursts. "Yes, baby, so strong."

"Oh god, Lily. Oh god, I love you." Anna shuddered as she listened to Lily’s release. Her desire to pull the woman close was overwhelming, far more than a mere physical need. She wanted to look into Lily’s eyes to see how the sensation had moved her, to confirm that Lily too had shared her heart along with her body. Anna had never felt such a need to connect with another in her life. She resisted reaching between her own legs, already knowing what she would find. Her body craved release, but she would wait for Lily’s touch.

Lily gradually lowered her hips to the bed as the waves receded. Her body was spent, but her thoughts remained attuned to the woman on the phone. What was Anna thinking? Had she felt the emotional connection or was this merely a sexual display? Lily suddenly worried that she had exposed too much. She felt vulnerable, embarrassed even.

Both women were quiet for a long moment, one embracing her feelings, the other anxious with her own. Finally, Anna broke the silence. "Lily?"

"Yes, I’m here."

"I want you to feel my arms around you, my whole body against yours. I’m going to hold you tonight while you sleep."

Lily relaxed and lost herself in the comforting image. "I love you, Anna."

"I love you too, baby." Anna saw herself place a kiss on Lily’s forehead. "Goodnight."

*  *  *

Lily searched among the stacks of paperwork for the file she needed. Pauline had gotten better about keeping her records in order after the incident last year with Maria Esperanza. Maria’s now very thick file rested on the corner of the cluttered desk. "Yeah, Pete. I’ve got it right here. What do you need? ...Yeah, that’s what it says… She isn’t?" Miguel had complained to his lawyer that Maria and the children were gone the last two times he went to see his children. "When did that start? ...Okay, I’ll give her a call right now… Thanks for the heads up."

Lily placed the call, but got a recorded message that the cellular service had been discontinued. Thumbing through the file, she came across the number for Maria’s sister, the one who lived in Culver City. The attorney dialed the number and asked to speak to Serena Whitman. "Hello, this is Lilian Stuart. You may remember me. I’m your sister Maria’s attorney."

The voice on the line hesitated. Then formally, "How can I help you, Miss Stuart?"

"I’m trying to reach your sister. Something very important has come up with her case. The number that I have for her is no longer in service. I was hoping you might have a new number, or a way that I could reach her."

"No, I don’t know where she is," the woman answered quickly.

A little too quickly, Lily thought. She needed to make the woman understand what was at stake. "Listen, I have an urgent message for her. If you see her or hear from her, she needs to know that there is trouble with her case. Mr. Esperanza’s attorney plans to ask the court for custody of the children because she had not allowed him to visit them. I will not be able to help her if she doesn’t call me soon." Lily hoped that Serena understood the gravity of the situation and would pass the message on to Maria.

In the meantime, Lily had a hunch that Maria was hiding out at her sister’s home. Sometimes she had very little patience for her adult clients, but the children she served needed her to work on their behalf. The Esperanza children were pawns in this battle of wills between their parents. Lily wondered if perhaps they weren’t better off elsewhere, but that was the judge’s call. She was reluctant to step into the middle of a volatile domestic dispute, but guarding the children’s interest was part of her job. She picked up her keys and purse, and stopped to let Pauline know where she was headed.

Driving through the Culver City neighborhood, Lily was suddenly flooded with memories and images from a year ago. Like then, it was mid-morning on a Thursday, unusually warm for a February day. She marveled at how her life had changed since that fateful day. She’d gone from being a loner to being one-half of something that seemed greater than a whole. She could no more imagine her life without Anna than she could imagine it without her work, her mother, her past. The beautiful woman was now part of who she was.

Her daydreams nearly caused her to miss what she was looking for. From her vantage point in the tall vehicle, she could barely see the rear bumper of the old red Ford Escort that was parked behind the Whitman house. "I knew it," she said aloud triumphantly. Parking across the street, Lily set up her surveillance of the home. Neither of the sisters would recognize the X5.

Nearly 45 minutes passed before she observed activity at the home. Maria’s children, Sofia and Roberto, emerged from the side door to play in the small yard. "That’s good enough for me," the attorney muttered as she exited the vehicle and dashed quickly to the front door.

Serena answered almost as soon as Lily knocked. "I told you, I don’t know where Maria is."

"Oh, I’m sorry. I should have been more clear. It isn’t really Maria that I need. It’s the children. I just saw them in the yard. They’re supposed to be with their father, so I’ll just call the social worker to come pick them up and take them to his house." She reached for her cell phone, prepared to call Sandy to the scene.

"No, wait!" As Lily had expected, Maria miraculously appeared to head off the call. "Please don’t call him. He’s been hurting the children. I can’t let them go."

"Goddamnit, Maria! I told you to call me if there were problems. He’s going to try to get custody again." She was furious that Maria would put her children at further risk by keeping this from her.

"I was afraid he would hurt them worse if I told on him." The woman was nearly hysterical.

"Your children will be safe. But I have to put them in protective custody while a judge considers new charges. You can’t just violate the court order."

"No, please don’t take them!"

"I have to. It’s to keep everyone safe." Maria wailed into her sister’s arms as Lily called Sandy. While they waited for the social worker, she helped the children pack a few items for their next placement in foster care. A flashback invaded her thoughts, that of a small child placing her few belongings in a brown grocery bag as a woman waited.

*  *  *

"You wouldn’t believe the new models! We’re going to have to trade yours in. You would love this edition!" The X5 Anna had in mind would go for $68,000 next year.

"No way! I’m driving my car until it falls apart." Lily pulled the phone from her ear and shouted her intention into the mouthpiece.

"What? I didn’t tell you that yours was on a custom lease that expires at the dealer’s discretion when new models become available?"

"Just you try it, Amazon. Besides, the one I have is already smarter than I am. I’d have to go to school to learn how to drive a new one."

"Funny you should say that. There’s a school here. We all had the chance to take out the new models and crank ‘em up. You could come and do it too if you wanted to. There’s nothing quite like the feel of an open course with all that muscle."

Lily loved it when Anna talked about her powerful cars! It was almost… butch.

"So, Birthday Girl, I’ll try to call you tomorrow, but it will probably be after seven or eight your time. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, but don’t forget, I’m going to dinner at Sandy’s and Suzanne’s tomorrow." What a bummer that her girlfriend–girlfriend?–was out of town on her birthday.

"Oh yeah, that’s right. Your real friends are the ones who are with you on your birthday." Anna was chiding Lily about her earlier pout.

"Well, I’ll forgive you this time. But I sure hope this ‘next model year’ preview doesn’t always fall on my birthday." Fuck! I can’t believe I just said that!

Oblivious to Lily’s gaffe, Anna warmed at the thought that she would spend more birthdays with the cute little blonde. Maybe next year, I’ll just take you with me. "Goodnight, sweetheart. And happy birthday all day tomorrow."

Lily’s gut tightened as she hung up the phone. Goddamnit! Why didn’t I just drive over to her house with a U-Haul! She was suddenly afraid that Anna would bolt at her presumption that she’d be with her next year. She had made that same mistake with Melanie, Becca and especially Beverly. She and Anna had been taking things slowly, the older woman needing time to adjust to the idea of being in a new relationship, let alone a relationship with another woman. Fuck me.

*  *  *

Lily laughed aloud as she pulled onto the freeway from Sherman Oaks. Her "dinner" with Sandy and Suzanne had actually been a surprise party, attended by 12 of her closest friends, mostly from work or from her socializing with the couple, all dressed in black to commemorate her passage "over the hill." Her gift haul included not one single serious gift. Instead, she had opened such things as wrinkle cream, denture adhesive, and a Lawrence Welk CD. Looking back, she couldn’t fault their sense of humor. She was the last one in the group to hit 30, and she had given several of them a box of Depends on their significant birthdays.

Pulling into her covered spot, she gathered the gag gifts and cards from the passenger seat. Despite the darkened apartment, Lily did not feel so alone this year. Flipping the light switch with her forearm, she dropped her gifts onto the kitchen table. To her disappointment, the solid red light told her there were no messages. As if reading her thoughts, the phone suddenly rang. Anna!

"Hello," she answered cheerfully.

"Happy birthday to you," the voice sang cheerfully.

God, what a sexy voice!

"Happy birthday to you."

It is now!

"Happy birthday dear Pygmy."

My Amazon!

"Happy birthday to you."

"You just made my day, Amazon."

"Is that so?" Anna could picture the blonde in the kitchen, probably leaning against the counter while she talked.

"Yeah, it’s so. Just hearing your voice makes me warm all over. I love you." Lily checked the clock on the microwave. It was after ten, so that meant it was after one a.m. in South Carolina.

"I love you too, baby. I really wanted to make your day. So I started thinking about what I could do on your birthday that was really special."

God, I love it when she calls me baby. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, so when I tried to think of something really special, I started thinking about what we did on the night before I left. Do you remember what we did, Lily?"

Every detail. "How could I forget that?" Her voice grew very small. Do I need to be lying down again?

"Yes, that was very special indeed. In fact, there was only one thing I could think of that would be more special than that."

"And what’s that?" Only one thing.

"Why don’t you come upstairs and find out?"

PART 13

I T WAS AT that moment that Lily first noticed a glow from the barely cracked door at the top of the stairs. That light hadn’t been on when she entered the apartment–she would have seen it from the walkway. Turning off the lights in the kitchen, the blonde nervously made her way up the darkened stairway, trying to envisage what she would see when she got to her bedroom.

No imagination could have done justice to the sight that greeted her as she gently swung open the door. Anna Kaklis sat in the corner armchair by the window, the picture of calm with one long leg crossed over the other, one hand raised so that her fingers rested on her chin. Her features were shadowed by the dim light from the small lamp on the far side of the room. The woman was dressed in dark slacks and a long sleeved white shirt, the black hair draped loosely around her shoulders. Her elbows rested nonchalantly on the arms of the chair and her other hand held a cell phone in her lap. Beside her on the bedside table sat a small wrapped gift.

Lily walked slowly into the room, stopping at the end of the bed. "I can’t believe you’re really here," she said with guarded excitement. If they both kept their nerve, they would be lovers soon.

"I didn’t want to miss your birthday," Anna answered quietly. "A girl doesn’t turn 30 every day." Despite her seeming composure, the beautiful woman was quickly losing the bravado she had needed to set up this scenario in Lily’s bedroom. Never before had she stood on this end of a seduction.

As Lily’s eyes adjusted to the lighting, Anna’s features became clearer to her. The woman wore a look of apprehension that bordered on panic. Crossing the room, Lily calmed her by placing a hand on her knee. "Well, just having you here is about the nicest birthday present I could have imagined," the blonde woman said from her heart. It was clear from her presence in Lily’s bedroom that Anna had intended for this to be the night that they made love. Yet she had come as far as she could of her own volition. Lily knew that she would have to lead her lover the rest of the way.

Silently, she took Anna’s hand and pulled her up into a confident embrace. Looking into the blue eyes, she leaned forward into a gentle probing kiss that quickly became deeper, more passionate. There was no need this time for either to hold back.

Placing the woman’s long hand against her pounding chest, Lily told her, "This is only one of the things you do to me." With that, she slid her palm inside the open collar of Anna’s shirt, finding a rapid heartbeat that matched her own. Ever so deliberately, Lily’s fingers moved to undo the buttons of the shirt, pushing back the collar to reveal the top of a lacy white bra. Pressing her lips against the soft skin between the woman’s breasts, deft hands gently tugged the shirttail free.

Without a trace of shyness, Lily stepped out of her shoes and removed her own jeans and sweater, leaving her standing in dark green panties and bra. Anna then matched her movements, finally reaching behind her to unfasten her bra.

"Please, I want to do that." Lily stepped forward and reached around the woman. Releasing the clasp, the bra slipped loosely from Anna’s shoulders. Lily lifted both hands to caress the soft naked breasts, then brought her face once again to the woman’s chest, brushing her cheek against a hardened nipple. "Beautiful," she murmured, as she pressed her lips to the smooth skin. Kneeling on the edge of the bed, she guided Anna to sit beside her.

Anna was trembling with anticipation as she watched the smaller woman remove first her bra, then her panties. Lily’s naked form was far more beautiful than Anna had imagined from their late night telephone interlude. Overwhelmed with the need to touch this woman, she ran both hands up Lily’s waist, trailing her fingertips against the sides of her breasts. She realized now that she had wanted this since the day on the boat.

Remembering perfectly the touch that Lily had described, Anna gently pushed her lover back against the pillow. Slowly, lovingly, wondrously, she made love with this beautiful woman, repeating each stroke of the fingers and mouth that Lily had asked her for that night. Every facet of the experience was more incredible than her meager imagination had allowed. When she drew her fingers from the warm cocoon to touch the hardened nub, her whole body thrummed with excitement. Anna watched in wonder as a deep red flush covered Lily’s chest and neck as she climaxed. With one arm underneath, Anna pulled her close and searched for the green eyes. "I love you, Lily. I love touching you this way." Lily, look at me! Yes, that’s it. In her entire life, she had never felt so connected to another person.

Lily looked back into the blue eyes that seemed so desperate to hold her own. In all the scenarios that she had dreamed, none had involved Anna being first to touch her. When her tremors ceased, she gently nudged the beautiful woman to her back and cradled her as she herself had been held, all without breaking the intimate link. "I want to make you feel as wonderful as I do," she said. With that, she covered Anna’s mouth with a deep kiss, breaking after several moments for air, but not moving her face from that of her lover. "I want to know you, Anna, every inch. I want to touch you, kiss you and taste you," she whispered. She could feel the shudder underneath her as Anna’s mind journeyed to the intimate act of which she spoke.

Lily’s kisses and strokes stirred Anna to such arousal that when she finally lowered her mouth to taste her lover, the woman released within seconds, calling Lily’s name as she went over the edge. The skilled tongue drew back, barely touching the tender spot, waiting… waiting for the woman to still. Once she did, Lily pressed harder and drew out a second climax, then a third when she entered Anna as her lips once again encircled the sensitive bud.

*  *  *

Anna awoke before dawn and slipped into the bathroom. She and Lily had made love until after one, when both collapsed physically spent. That in itself was remarkable, since Scott had never continued their lovemaking once she had an orgasm. Last night, she had lost count of the times Lily had brought her to climax. Splashing water on her face to clear the cobwebs, the dark-haired woman removed the traces of her lover’s arousal from her chin. Now that had been an amazing experience. She surprised herself with her own lack of reservation–she had simply wanted to devour the woman. In fact, she was astonished at her own need to give Lily pleasure, almost unmindful of her own body’s desires.

Almost, that is. It had certainly been the most satisfying physical experience she’d ever had. Okay, it was more than satisfying–it was incredible. Hell, it was mind-blowing. That’s what it was. Remembering now the thundering physical sensations, the tender words and intense looks they had shared, and the way they held onto each other as they climaxed, Anna finally knew what all the fuss was about. It was about connection.

She had questions, complicated questions for herself about her own expectations for where this all would lead. But right now, she needed to return to Lily.

The blonde in the bed was starting to grow concerned about the length of time that had passed since Anna had gotten up and disappeared into the bathroom. What is she thinking about? What is she feeling? A part of her wanted to go see if everything was okay, but another part was too afraid of the answer. Traumatic imaginings tumbled unbidden through her head. She supposed first that Anna had awakened with guilt or disgust at what they had done last night. Or perhaps it was just disappointment because Lily hadn’t lived up to Anna’s hopes or expectations. Worse, she had come to Lily simply for the experience of being with another woman, and now that they had shared this sexual encounter, she would move on. Either way, Anna was probably in the bathroom contemplating how to dress and leave without a word.

With her imagination running wild, Lily was simply astounded when Anna returned to the bed and turned on her side to draw the smaller woman close. As she began to doze again, the blonde woman noted that the very worst thing about insecurities was that they robbed you of energy that you could be spending on more pleasurable pursuits.

The sun streaming in through the narrow window above the balcony door stirred Lily awake. To her delight, a sleeping Amazon draped over her from shoulder to feet, dark hair splayed across her chest. Unfortunately, nature’s call was adamant.

"This is the lumpiest mattress I’ve ever slept on," the blonde mumbled mischievously as she returned, lifting the covers and crawling across the tall naked form. "Just can’t seem to get comfortable," she continued, shifting her head from one breast to another. Finally, she settled in and began a series of obnoxious snores that dissolved the "mattress" into fits of laughter.

"That’s a gift you have, finding lumpy things to crawl on," Anna laughed as she poked the woman in her ribs.

"Hey, who are you? How did you get in here?" Lily demanded playfully.

"Isn’t this Apartment 12? I was told to wait for the lady in Apartment 12."

"No, I’m afraid this is number 10."

"Does this mean I’m not going to get my money?"

Good one, Amazon! "Sorry, I’m but a penniless champion of the oppressed. You’re going to have to take it out in trade."

"That can be arranged," Anna agreed, arching her eyebrow suggestively.

And so began Sunday morning in Apartment 10.

*  *  *

"Lilian Stuart," the attorney answered.

"So what are you wearing?" came the sexy voice over the speaker phone.

Lunging across the desk for the receiver, Lily absently checked the door for traffic in the hallway. "I’m fine. Thank you for asking," she scolded.

"That’ll teach you to answer your speaker phone without checking caller ID," the car dealer chuckled. Pausing a moment, she followed, "So? Are you going to answer my question?"

"I’m wearing a suit. Court clothes. I have a hearing this afternoon on an adoption proceeding. What about you? You in your grease monkey clothes?" Lily had stopped by the dealership last Saturday to find Anna working with one of the mechanics under the hood of an early model BMW. She was dressed in a grease-smeared pin-striped jumpsuit, her long ponytail pulled through a Dodgers baseball cap. Lily had never seen a sexier sight.

"Not today. I’ve got an appointment this afternoon with Steve French. Remember him?"

"Of course. The San Diego Sleaze. Maybe a grease monkey suit wouldn’t be such a bad idea."

"But you said I looked sexy in that. Are you saying that I should look sexy for Steve?" Anna enjoyed poking at the green-eyed monster.

"No, I’m saying that I should come down there and sit in on your meeting. If that jerk so much as looks at you, I’ll clean his clock with a crow bar." She fingered her birthday present, a delicate gold bracelet from the box beside the bed. The casual observer likely wouldn’t notice the series of BMW emblems etched into the small links. It just screamed Anna!

"My hero," Anna sighed in a mock swoon. "Can we do dinner tonight, sweetheart? I’ll take you out or pick something up and bring it over. I just want to see you." Work and family obligations had gotten in their way this week. They had spent nearly every night together over the last two weeks, but the only chance they had gotten to see one another this week had been lunch on Tuesday, which meant they had none of the private time that each of them now craved.

"6:30? I can stop and get Chinese food." Lily’s mind was already way past what they would eat for dinner.

"See you then. Love you."

"Love you too." The attorney wanted to pinch herself every time she heard or said those words.

*  *  *

"I can’t believe there was ever a time when I didn’t need this," Anna sighed, rolling onto her back and pulling the blonde on top. Dinner had been a blur, both women looking ahead to having one another for dessert.

"Oh, you always needed it. You just didn’t know it." Lily trailed her fingers softly across Anna’s thin collarbones, down between her breasts and back up again.

"Well, I think you’ve ruined me."

"How so?"

"Well, I think about this every six minutes, no matter what I’m doing. I think I would have driven through a police barricade to get here." She chuckled, remembering her excitement on the way over. "I love this. I mean, I also love talking to you, or going out, or just sitting around. But this is what I need," the last part emphasized with a squeeze around the blonde’s middle.

"Yeah, I need it too, sweetheart. All of those things." The more time she spent with the beautiful woman, the more secure she felt about their relationship. But Lily knew better than to presume anything. She would take all that Anna had to offer, even if it meant losing her in the end.

*  *  *

"Anna Kaklis, you have a call on line two. Anna Kaklis, line two." The normally animated Carmen always sounded so official and reserved when she used the intercom.

The car dealer swung into an empty office to grab the blinking line. "This is Anna Kaklis. How may I help you?" She had been on the lot with Holly, a new saleswoman she had hired yesterday. Holly was one of the top sellers at the BMW dealership in San Diego. Anna was pleased to find that she knew her stuff when it came to the BMW line; it was only a matter of learning the ins and outs of Premier Motors. They were lucky to get her.

"Anna, it’s Mother."

Well, here was a surprise. Anna couldn’t remember the last time her mother had phoned her at work. "Hi Mom. What’s up? Is everything okay," she asked anxiously.

"Yes, of course. I was calling to invite you to dinner on Saturday. I’m preparing a London broil." Anna knew that was one of her father’s favorites.

Anna was confused. It was usually her father who delivered these types of invitations, since they saw each other every day at the dealership. Nonetheless, Martine was waiting patiently on the other end of the line for her answer. "Saturday?" That bought her a moment. Saturday evening was Lily Time.

"Yes, about six. Kim and Hal are coming, of course. And David is bringing Heather. It would be nice if Lily could come too." There! She’d just told her stepdaughter that the attorney was welcome in their home. She wanted to create a comfortable setting that would allow her husband to get to know the young woman, and to see how happy the two were together.

They know! The car dealer was flabbergasted, to say the least. "I think that would be very nice. I’ll call her and call you back. Thank you, Mother."

*  *  *

"I’m not kidding! She called me herself at work last Thursday, and she asked me to invite Lily too." Anna was filling her sister in on the details of Martine’s call.

Lily was outside by the pool with the rest of Kaklis clan, telling them all about the plans for the next Kidz Kamp outing, slated for next month. She was trying to sell David on the idea of coming along. Community service looks good on a college application, she reminded him.

"How do you think she knew about Lily?" Anna did not attempt to conceal her accusatory tone with Kim.

"I didn’t say anything, I swear. Not like I would have to, though. All anyone has to do is look at the two of you together, or listen to you talk about each other. You’re in love, Sister." Kim smiled knowingly. She loved seeing her sister so happy. "And it really looks good on you."

Anna couldn’t help but return the smile. "So do you think I should say something? If they already know, it’s like an elephant in the parlor."

"Well, I’d just be sort of casual about it if I were you. I don’t think it calls for any big announcement. Does it?" Kim was fishing.

"No, of course not! I do love her, but there’s really nothing more to say."

"Just remember, you promised to tell me all about the sex," Kim reminded playfully.

"I did not! Just because you asked me to promise doesn’t mean I did!" Anna folded her arms in mock indignation, a pose she adopted often when dealing with her little sister. "But since you brought it up…”

Kim’s attention was instantly riveted to her older sister. "Oh yeah?"

"Oh yeah! God, I had no idea it could be like that," she whispered animatedly, unable to hide her excitement. "It was never like this with Scott. Not even close."

"I told you, Anna. Scott was not right for you."

"I know. I just wish I knew if this was right for me," the tall woman said wistfully. "I don’t think I’ve gotten a perspective on the lesbian thing yet."

"Well, what about it? If it feels right for you, that’s all that matters. You don’t have to worry about what to call yourself." Kim was open minded and accepting, but she didn’t quite understand Anna’s dilemma.

"It’s more complicated than that, though. I… I feel like Lily has shown me what real love is supposed to feel like. Now that I know, should I be looking for that feeling with a man? Or what if I really am a lesbian? Is Lily the right woman for me? Am I right for her? I’m plowing all new ground here."

Kim recognized the seriousness of these questions, but wasn’t about to spoon-feed her own opinion to her sister. "Well, you’re the only one who can answer those questions. Do you have any interest in going out with anyone else? A man? Another woman?"

"No, not at all. If I could have this from now on, I’d be happy." The enormity of that struck Anna suddenly. From now on.

From now on? Wow! "What do you think Lily wants?"

"I don’t know. I mean, I know she loves me, but she’s been burned before. I get the feeling sometimes that she really doesn’t expect this to be permanent. I doubt she’s thinking about anything long term."

"You’re already thinking long term? You’ve got it bad, don’t you?"

"No, it’s not that I’m already thinking long term. But why keep seeing somebody, especially intimately, if you know that there isn’t any chance for a commitment at some point down the road? I’m just not into dating or sleeping with somebody for recreation. That’s not me." That was it, she knew. She wanted Lily, but only if Lily also wanted her. Anna wasn’t looking to get her heart broken either.

"Well, give it some time, Anna. There’s no rush. I think the answers will come to you." Kim was pretty sure that they already had, but that her sister just needed to try them on for a while. "So I take it you’ve figured out what it is that you do?"

Anna turned red and smiled. "I should have known I couldn’t distract you from your mission." Kim smiled triumphantly. "Yes, I’ve figured it out. Yes, it’s wonderful. Yes, we do it every chance we get." That last bit was actually more than she had intended to say. "Now, we’d better get out there. Lily’s going to think I’ve thrown her to the wolves."

George Kaklis was soundly impressed at the way the little blonde attorney had coaxed his son into agreeing to help out with Kidz Kamp. In his father’s opinion, David was pretty self-centered, though not unusually so for most young men his age. Padding his college application was certainly a plus, but besides that, he seemed eager to have the chance to work with some of the younger boys that Lily spoke of. The elder Kaklis found himself genuinely liking the woman, despite his misgivings about her relationship with his daughter. She was obviously a good, decent person.

George followed Martine into the kitchen so that they could have a few minutes alone. Wrapping his arms around his wife from behind, he told her, "Dinner was marvelous darling. You’re the best." There was more, but it was going to be difficult to get out. He waited for a moment, anticipating the argument he would get when she voiced his thoughts. "I… I really like Lily, but I just don’t want that for Anna."

"George, please. It isn’t your choice." Martine wasn’t going to put up with this any longer. She had orchestrated this entire evening as an opportunity for her husband to get to know the young woman better–Martine was certain that Lily herself could win him over. "Can’t you see how happy Anna is? Are you so selfish that you’d deny that for your own daughter?"

"It isn’t right for her," he practically wailed.

Martine hated to do it, but it was ultimatum time. "As long as this is my home, Lily will be welcome here, no matter what her relationship is with Anna. If you can’t deal with that George, then you can go spend the day at the goddamned dealership." With that, she turned and headed back into the dining room.

PART 14

"I’ M SORRY SANDY and I spent so much time talking shop." Anna and Lily were headed home in the black sedan from having dinner with Sandy and Suzanne at their home. It was the first time the dark-haired woman had socialized with her lover’s longtime friends.

"Oh, it wasn’t a problem at all. I think your work is very interesting." Lauren and Sandy were going to court the next day to petition for Sofia and Roberto Esperanza to be removed from Maria’s care, and placed with their aunt in Culver City. Maria had not complied with the visitation order for Miguel, and there was growing evidence that the children’s abuser was actually Maria’s new boyfriend, Jose. The final impetus had been a call from Serena, asking Lily to help her get custody. Since she was already Maria’s attorney, she had referred the case to Lauren. "And it’s important. I’m very proud of you and what you do."

"That means a lot to me, sweetheart." Lily immediately reddened with shame as her mind flashed back to the scene before Christmas when she had derided Anna’s work as inconsequential. She hoped her lover wasn’t thinking of the same thing, as some things were best forgotten. "I’m almost afraid to ask, but now that you’ve spent a little time with my friends, what do you think of them?"

"I think your friends are very nice, and it’s obvious that they think the world of you." Anna was especially fond of Sandy, and it appeared that she and Lily shared a unique friendship, reinforced by their working relationship. "Why were you afraid to ask?"

"Well, it’s just that Suzanne can be sort of abrasive at times," Lily said meekly. "It took Mom a while to get used to it. She’s really a sweet person, but she doesn’t always come off that way."

Anna chuckled. Suzanne had cornered her in the kitchen and threatened to break off her arm and beat her with the bloody end if she hurt their little friend. "Yeah, she did sort of warn me that I should treat you well, which I intend to do, by the way. I mean I might have treated you well anyway, but she gave me a little added incentive," she teased.

They were nearing Lily’s apartment. "Can you stay tonight?" The blonde was hungry for her lover, especially after the hot tub scene. She had told Anna that they usually had an after dinner soak, but she would beg off if that felt uncomfortable. On the contrary, the beautiful woman nearly stole Suzanne’s breath when she pulled off her clothes and climbed into the tub in all her glory. Eat your heart out, ladies. She’s mine.

"Sure, I’d like that a lot."

Lily had momentarily forgotten her own question as her mind wandered back to the majestic sight of the tall woman standing to leave the tub, water cascading down her sinuous body. Once she realized that Anna had just agreed to stay the night, she reached across the console and laid her hand in the woman’s lap.

Anna loved their nights together. Making love was wonderful, of course, but their connection now went far beyond that. The soft words they’d share as they lay in one another’s arms seemed to close a circle with both of them inside. Her whole world went still each time she awakened to find herself entwined with the naked blonde. This was contentment like Anna had never known.

*  *  *

A whole corner of the VP’s office at Premier Motors was devoted to putting the Chamber of Commerce records in order, as Anna was happily passing the baton to the incoming treasurer. It had been a busy year for the Chamber, and the car dealer had made quite an impression on the members with whom she had dealings. Several were pressing her to run for vice-president next year, which would mean an automatic ascension to president the following year. On the one hand, it would mean a lot of extra work, with meetings, committee work, and special events. On the other hand, community service was something she believed in, and it was good business.

"Anna, do you have a minute for your dad?" George poked his head into his daughter’s office.

"I’m sorry, do you have an appointment?" Anna was feeling somewhat overwhelmed by all of the things she needed to finish by the end of the week. This was definitely cutting into her Lily Time.

"I can come back later if you want." It was almost comical seeing the distinguished man pout.

"No, silly. I always have time for you." Anna stood up to move a pile of paperwork from one of her extra chairs.

George sat down and cleared his throat, obviously waiting for his daughter’s undivided attention. He had a plan. "I’ve been giving some thought lately to how I… I tend to interfere sometimes in matters that really aren’t any of my business."

Where on earth did that come from? In her 32 years, Anna couldn’t think of a time when her father had come to her with such an admission.

"Anyway, I think I may have jumped the gun a while back when you were going out with Steve French." Anna couldn’t believe her ears. "I talked with Steve the other day. He really is a nice guy, and I’m sorry if anything I said about him dissuaded you from seeing him again." George reasoned that if Anna just got back into dating, she would surely abandon this fixation with her attorney friend.

"Steve French?" A knot in her stomach told her this wasn’t about the account manager at all, but about a certain blonde attorney.

"Yeah, he’s really a very interesting fellow. You two probably have a lot in common. I mean, with both of you in sales and marketing and all. Sure, he drives a Jaguar, but we’ll win him over in time." He winked at his daughter, but this time, his usual charm fell short. Way short.

"I’m not really interested in Steve French, Dad." That might have been the understatement of the year. The guy still gave her the creeps.

"You should give it a chance, darling. He offered us tickets on Sunday to the skybox. I told him you and I would come together."

"You’re right, Dad…"

George let out of a sigh of relief. That was actually easier than he thought it would be.

"You do sometimes interfere in matters that aren’t really any of your business," she finished.

What?

"I already have plans for Sunday." Lily Time. "I’m sure David will be glad to go with you," she said coldly, turning back to her work.

George was taken aback by his daughter’s tone. There were plenty of times that she resisted his guidance, but never before so… adamantly. "Anna, I’m worried about you." He would try a different tack. "Ever since Scott left, you’ve stopped dating. It’s like you’ve… given up on… finding someone to love." Actually, it was more like she’d given up on men, but he wasn’t going to voice that one.

Yep, this was definitely about Lily! Anna now saw clearly through her father’s charade, and was appalled at his obvious attempts to manipulate her. Truth be told, he had always done this, granting or withholding his approval as a way of bending her to his will. It was time, she thought, to lay her cards on the table. The woman’s voice was shaking as she began. "Dad, I think there’s something you should know…" She stopped herself. She needed to have this conversation with her mother also. "I was wondering if I could stop by the house tonight, about 7:30. Would that be alright?"

George nodded grimly. He knew it was time to face this, and that his daughter was thinking the same thing. "Sure, I’ll call your mother. Do you want to have dinner with us?"

No, we may not have much of an appetite after you hear what I have to say. "No, I’ll probably eat dinner later."

When her father left her office, Anna crossed quickly and closed the door. She called Lily first at her office, then on her cell phone. Getting her lover’s voicemail, she left a message. "Hi sweetheart. Listen, I need to go to my parents’ house after work tonight. It’s time for us to have that talk." She knew Lily would know to which talk she referred. "I don’t know how long it will take, but I’ll come to your place when I’m done. Love you."

Promptly at 7:30, the black sedan turned through the hedges of the Kaklis home in Beverly Hills. George met his daughter at the door and ushered her into the family room, where Martine sat waiting nervously for the fireworks to begin. Anna sat not on the offered sofa, but on the ottoman next to her mother’s wingback chair. She could be closer to both of her parents this way.

"I’ve been feeling like it was time that we talked about Lily," Anna started. A pin dropping at that moment would have been deafening, she thought. Martine looked at her and smiled softly, while her father wouldn’t meet her eyes at all. Turning to her stepmother, she continued, "Dad stopped in my office today and told me that he was worried that I’d given up on love. I want to assure both of you that that isn’t true at all, because I have fallen in love. With Lily. She feels the same way about me, and I hope you’ll be seeing a lot of her in the future."

Martine reached out and placed her hand on her stepdaughter’s knee. "I’m really glad to hear that, Anna. Lily’s a wonderful person." Anna squeezed the woman’s hand and turned to her father, who stared numbly at his lap. As family moments go, this one was pretty uncomfortable.

Finally, George broke the silence. "Anna, I just don’t think this is right. I think you’re letting all of the emotions from what happened in the earthquake cloud your judgment."

The words were all too familiar. "That’s funny, Dad. That’s exactly what Scott said when I told him that I wanted a divorce. It pains me that both of you think I’m so weak that I’d give in to emotional moments."

"It isn’t that I think you’re weak at all. But sweetheart, did you ever consider that maybe Scott was right? I hated seeing you leave him. He was so good for you."

"I hated seeing you leave him." The woman cringed inwardly at those words. What about what I wanted? Reluctantly, Anna acknowledged that it was time to knock Scott off the pedestal her father had created for him. "I had never intended to tell you this because I know how much you both liked Scott. I divorced him because he fathered a child with another woman, the woman that he later married. I probably could have forgiven him for that, though it wouldn’t have been easy. But I realized that I didn’t want to work that hard for something that had never made either one of us really happy in the first place." She paused to let the words sink in. "I realize now that I didn’t know what happiness was until I found Lily."

George was dismayed to hear of his son-in-law’s infidelity. Still, he didn’t want to see his daughter giving up on men just because of Scott had turned out to be a louse. "Anna, darling, why didn’t you tell us this about Scott? We don’t blame you at all for leaving him under those circumstances. But all men aren’t like that."

"Which circumstances, Dad? His betrayal or the fact that we weren’t happy?" No matter how he answered, Anna acknowledged a bitter truth. If her father was happy, that was really all that mattered to him. "I want you to be able to accept Lily as the person I love, as the person that makes me happy. But if you don’t, it isn’t going to change anything. I don’t know where it’s all going to lead, but Lily and I are going to play this out." She looked for her father’s eyes, but he still refused to look up from his lap.

Anna stood and reached for her jacket, a grim look of resignation on her face. This was one of the most difficult moments of her life, and she knew her heart would break the moment she left the house. For now though, she was determined to stand her ground.

Martine got up and pulled her stepdaughter into a tight hug. "I’m happy for you, sweetheart." The tall woman could have cried on the spot, but she wouldn’t give her father the satisfaction of seeing anything he might construe as weakness. "He’ll come around," she gestured with a nod of the head to George, speaking as though he weren’t even in the room. "He’s hard headed and selfish, but he loves you very much."

Fortunately, that much was true.

*  *  *

"I’m sorry it was so hard for you, baby. Maybe your mother’s right. Maybe he’ll come around." Lily comforted her lover, trailing her fingers under the shirt across the bare abdomen. It wasn’t meant to be a sexual caress, just a way to keep contact while they shared their heavy emotions. Anna was still distraught about what had transpired earlier at her parents’ home. She had arrived about an hour earlier, eyes red and swollen, unable to talk. Lily sat with her in the darkened living room for long quiet minutes until the woman finally found her voice. When she had finished with her tale, there was nothing for Lily to do except to hold her.

"I meant what I said, Lily." Anna spoke again after a long silence. "I have to see where this will all go."

Her words were meant to be reassuring, but the blonde woman still was unable to accept that Anna could really let herself do this. "Darling, I know this is hard for you. If…” Lily couldn’t believe she was going to say this and mean it. "If it’s too hard, I understand. I won’t ask you to give up your family." What was that old Indian proverb about setting free something you loved? Lily had always thought that hokey, but at this very moment, she understood just how much you needed to love someone to make such a deep sacrifice.

Anna couldn’t believe her ears. "You’d really let me go?" she asked.

"Yes." And then I would die.

I would fight my own family for you, and you’d just let me go? Had she been reading Lily wrong all along? Anna was ready to give this woman everything, but Lily didn’t seem to want it. Abruptly extracting herself from the arms that held her, the tall woman stood and gathered her things as she moved toward the door. "I need somebody who’ll fight for me, Lily." With that, she was gone.

*  *  *

Lily finally got it–Anna was really in love with her. Real love, lasting love, not just filling a gap in their lives. The stoic woman was willing to forsake her own family to see if she and Lily could build something together that would last. Instead of embracing this offering from Anna, Lily had held back, protecting herself against the certainty that Anna would someday leave. The real Lily would have worn her heart on her sleeve and Anna would have had no doubts at all about where she stood. Fuck me. She needed to show Anna that she wanted her badly enough to fight for her. How would the real Lily do that?

Anna saw the X5 through her bedroom window when it pulled up. She debated simply not answering the door, doubting that Lily would use her key if it were clear that she wasn’t welcome right now. Deciding instead that nothing could happen that would make her feel any worse, she made her way downstairs to answer the persistent bell. She needed to know where they stood.

Despite herself, the sight that greeted the dark-haired woman brought a smile to her face which she quickly covered with her hand. Standing on the doorstep was the love of her life, dressed in a short brown skirt with a ragged hemline and a matching sleeveless top. Across her chest was what appeared to be a series of coat hangers, spray-painted gold and twisted into curly-cues to cover her breasts. Boots and kneepads covered her legs, and her forearms sported black cardboard gauntlets that matched her arm bracers and shoulder pads.

"Who on earth are you supposed to be?" Anna was losing the battle with covering her smile. Her sparkling blue eyes had already given away her delight. Lily looked adorable.

The costumed blonde reached over her shoulder and extracted a sword made of cardboard and covered with aluminum foil. Its business end curved significantly to one side, only adding to the comical effect. In her other hand, she gripped a plate-sized ring, also covered with foil, but painted gold and black. "I am Lily, the Warrior Princess. I have come to fight for you."

"Get in here before somebody sees you and calls the police!"

Lily lowered her sword and stepped into the darkened foyer. The Halloween costume from a couple of years ago had had the desired effect. She had managed to get herself invited in. Now it was time to lay it all out there. "Anna, can I have my words back and tell you how I really feel?"

Anna walked to the foot of the steps, turning to take a seat on the third step. Lily’s face was now illuminated by the light from the upstairs hallway. "How do you really feel?"

Lily hadn’t practiced this. Somehow she just knew the right words would come out if she only spoke her heart. "I love you, so much that sometimes it just takes my breath away. When you tell me you love me, or when I wake up and find you in my arms, it’s almost surreal. I just can’t believe that someone as wonderful as you would choose me." She walked forward and kneeled on the bottom step. "What I said earlier about not asking you to give up your family had nothing to do with what I really want from you. Because I want everything you’ll give me, Anna, absolutely everything. If you someday decide that you just want to be friends, then I’ll want to be the best friend you have. If you want just to be lovers for now, then lovers we’ll be." Okay, here goes. Please don’t run away from me. "And if you ever decide that you want to be partners, then I’ll promise myself to you for the rest of time."

The anxiety that Lily expected from within herself never surfaced at all, since Anna’s response didn’t matter this time. What she’d told the beautiful woman wasn’t a question, as it had been with lovers in the past. It was a statement, and whatever Anna wanted wouldn’t change a thing about what Lily felt. She was offering everything, and Anna could take whatever part she wanted.

Indeed, Anna did understand what Lily was saying. Her words about needing the woman to fight for her seemed silly now. All this time, she’d been waiting for Lily to feel secure enough to move ahead, and the little blonde had just covered all that ground in one fell swoop. The tall woman shifted on the stairs to touch her lips to those of the green-eyed warrior. "Will you come upstairs and hold me tonight?"

Lily knew that Anna had a mental block about making love with her in this house. "I’ll do whatever you want. If you’d rather go back to my place, I’ll bring you back in the morning."

"What, and miss seeing you drive home in that outfit in the light of day? Not a chance, Pygmy."

*  *  *

Lily noted the caller ID before slapping the answer button on the speaker phone. Reaching instead for the receiver, she kicked at the door to send it swinging shut. "Lilian Stuart. How may I be of service?" The last time she had answered "How may I service you?" and it turned out to be the service department at Premier Motors calling to schedule her 7,500 mile check-up. She was mortified, and only hoped that she would have the chance to tell Anna before one of the mechanics did.

"Oh, I can think of several ways. But for starters, I wanted to know if you could get off early today." Anna was working hard to contain her eagerness.

"Sure. I can come in a little early tomorrow. I’m prepping for a court appearance tomorrow afternoon." Maria had asked her to help get her kids back from her sister, but Lily had convinced her to petition the judge instead for visitation. That, the attorney knew, was best for the kids until Maria broke things off with Jose. The Esperanza children were going to have a happy ending if it killed her!

"How soon can you leave?"

Lily glanced at the clock. 3:30. "How about 30 minutes? Where should I go?"

"Meet me at my house. I have something to show you."

Traffic was crawling at four, and Lily didn’t make it to Bel Air until 5:15. Her beautiful lover met her in the drive and hopped into the passenger seat. At Anna’s direction, Lily wound through the back streets and side roads until they reached Brentwood, one of LA’s most upscale suburbs. On a quiet street, they stopped in front of a beautiful two-story Spanish-style home, white with a multi-level red tile roof.

"So what do you think?"

"Wow! It’s beautiful! Did Kim find this?"

Anna nodded excitedly. "I’ve got the keys. Let’s go take a look." She had seen the house yesterday and again this morning. Lily gasped when they entered the grand foyer. Stained glass above the door played colors all the way up the swirling staircase. Anna walked her lover through the house room by room. Downstairs, there was a small formal living room, a dining room, a family room with a cozy office off to the side, and an enormous kitchen with a breakfast nook. Both the family room and kitchen opened up onto a beautifully landscaped patio and yard. The pool featured dark blue concrete and Spanish tile, with an attached hot tub. Anna pointed out the two-car garage in the side yard. Upstairs, they found three bedrooms, including a large master suite. The suite and one of the bedrooms had balconies overlooking the pool. Lily had never seen such a beautiful home, and she really hoped Anna had decided to buy it.

"So what do you think?" Anna could already tell that Lily loved it.

"Are you kidding? It’s wonderful. Are you going to buy it?" she asked excitedly.

"I put a contract on it this morning." Anna paused and watched the smile that started to form on her lover’s face. "I wanted to ask you about it first, but it was set to go on the market today and I was afraid it would get snatched up."

"Well, you sure didn’t need my help. I think it’s a smart move."

"Yeah, it’s a great house, but that’s not why I wanted to ask you first." She took her lover’s hand and brought it to her heart. "Will you live here with me?" she asked hopefully, locking blue eyes onto green.

Lily’s stomach did that thing again. Not the fluttering and sinking thing it did when she was nervous or anticipating bad news. This was a fluttering and soaring. The same thing it did every time Anna whispered to her while they were making love.

Anna waited nervously as a long quiet moment passed. Lily seemed to be thinking about it. That was a good sign, wasn’t it?

"I don’t think I’ve ever told you before, but I love it when you talk to me in bed."

Okaaay. It was kind of exciting to hear her lover say that, but Anna was certain that she had asked a different question.

"I know, you’re probably wondering where that came from. It’s just that when you talk to me while we’re touching each other, I get this… giddy feeling in my stomach. It’s a pretty powerful sensation. It’s when I know how deeply I love you."

Okaaay. This was all good news. But what about my question?

"I just got that feeling again when you asked me to live with you. That stomach thing."

"So, will you?" Help me out. I’m dying here.

"Oh yeah." With that, the Pygmy dragged the Amazon to the floor of the master bedroom for a proper christening of their new home.

THE END

STIRRED

DISCLAIMERS

Disclaimer #1: My characters are of my own creation. If you want to imagine that they look like certain people, I won’t mess with that.

Disclaimer #2: This story is about women in love, and all that goes with it. If you find that idea offensive, if you aren’t old enough, or if you live where reading such depictions is not allowed, this isn’t for you.

Disclaimer #3: Angst ahead, heavy at times.

Disclaimer #4: Read Disclaimer #3 again.

This is the sequel to my first story, Shaken. If you haven’t read it, this one won’t make much sense. I’d like to say an enormous THANK YOU to all of you who took the time to write me after reading that one.

Thanks to Tami, my beta reader. I sometimes forget that she has a life outside of reading my stuff.

As always, this is for my Sweetcakes.

She loves it when I call her Sweetcakes.

STIRRED

CHAPTER 1

"I BET THIS is pretty in the daytime." Anna couldn’t resist.

"Don’t go there, Amazon!" the driver warned. "I practically lied to a judge to get a hearing postponed so we could leave early and there you are, in the middle of selling a car!" It hadn’t actually been a complete lie. Lily had told Judge Johnson that she had travel reservations that would be difficult to change. Since Yosemite National Park closed for vehicle traffic at 10 and the LA exodus was unpredictable at best, the lawyer reasoned that her excuse was sort of true. As it was, they would just make it, slipping into the park at 9:45.

"But selling cars is what I do," Anna rebutted, knowing well that they needed to have this out so they could get on with the business of having a good time.

"No, salespeople sell cars. Bosses boss. Bosses can tell salespeople to sell cars so bosses can leave early." Couldn’t they?

"Yeah, I guess. But Harry is a really good friend of Dad’s."

"What do you want to bet that George sent him by this afternoon just to ruin our trip!"

"Dad wouldn’t do that!" Would he? "Besides, our trip isn’t ruined already, is it?"

Lily didn’t answer; she was still pouting.

"Sweet Lips?"

Still no response, but Anna could see the lips in question starting to form a reluctant smile following that endearment.

"Sugar Tongue?"

Sugar Tongue? Lily looked away so Anna wouldn’t see the grin that outrageous moniker brought out. "No, it isn’t ruined," the blonde finally admitted. "But I’m putting this down in George’s book in case he tries it again." Lily and Anna had a running joke about keeping score of the ways they imagined that Anna’s father tried to thwart their relationship.

"There it is," Anna pointed to the red 4Runner with Washington plates situated between two giant redwoods. Lily’s headlights shone upon a bright blue two-person tent nestled against the underbrush nearby. Two women, both in jeans and sweatshirts, sat in the darkness atop a weathered picnic table, obviously on the lookout for their friends. Lily pulled the X-5 into the space behind the other vehicle, and turned off the engine. The seven-hour drive from LA to Yosemite had been a chore when she last drove it three years ago in her old RAV4, but the power and the luxury of this BMW put those memories to rest.

"I would never have believed it in a million years! It’s Anna Kaklis in hiking boots and blue jeans!" Carolyn Bunting beamed at the site of her usually chic friend stepping out of the X-5. "Next, you’re going to tell me you brought a flannel shirt!"

Anna gestured over her shoulder to her partner in the driver’s seat. "She makes me do crazy things!" Anna crossed the campsite quickly to embrace her longtime friend.

"Then it must be true love!" Carolyn declared.

Lily slowly exited the car and walked shyly to the picnic table where her lover greeted her friends with warm hugs and kisses on the cheek. Carolyn was just as Lily had pictured from her partner’s description–almost as tall as Anna, with short curly hair, its deep red tint by L’Oreal, Lily guessed. Vicki was petite, her wavy brown hair pulled tightly into a ponytail. Both women had that healthy "outdoorsy" look. In a way–maybe it was their size difference–they reminded Lily of Anna and herself.

"It is true love," Anna said as she turned and held out her arm for her partner to join her. "Carolyn, Vicki, I want you to meet Lily Stuart, the woman who can make me do absolutely anything on earth."

Except leave work early! "I’m glad to finally meet you both. Anna has told me quite a bit about you." Lily put out her hand, but the redhead ignored it and pulled her in for a hug. Vicki did the same, and Lily’s typical nervousness at meeting new people immediately started to recede.

Carolyn was genuinely excited about seeing the woman who had so obviously won her friend’s heart. "I’ve heard all about you, too! Good things, of course." After a 10-year hiatus in which they saw each other only once, Anna and Carolyn had easily renewed their friendship. On the heels of the car dealer’s sudden visit last year, they now traded emails or talked on the phone at least once a week. This excursion to Yosemite had been Carolyn’s idea.

Vicki offered to help Lily set up their tent while the old friends caught up. The Seattle Seahawks’ communication director liked Anna the instant they met five years ago at a Cal Poly reunion. Any lover would feel a tinge of jealousy at meeting their partner’s first love, but those feelings passed quickly for Vicki. She couldn’t help but wonder if Lily had a similar reaction to seeing Anna with Carolyn. "Look at them." She gestured toward the pair by the fire. "You’d never guess that they went the better part of 10 years without seeing each other."

"I’m really glad they reconnected. Anna thinks the world of both of you. She’s glad to see Carolyn so happy." Lily had been looking forward to this rare chance for them to spend time with another lesbian couple. The fact that Carolyn was a special friend of Anna’s was an added bonus. Though they occasionally got together with Sandy and Suzanne, both Anna and Lily were relatively shy when it came to socializing, so they hadn’t really cultivated friendships with the other couples they had met at parties or outings. Neither of them was really comfortable showing affection around others, even with Kim and Hal, Anna’s sister and brother-in-law, whom they considered their closest friends. But with their few lesbian friends, they could be affectionate, flirtatious, even risqué.

Lily hauled their camping gear into the small tent, stacking most of it near the zippered door at the foot of her sleeping bag. Anna would need the extra room on her side for her long legs. Since they weren’t backpacking into the campsite on this trip, she had brought along a few luxuries, like extra blankets and pillows. Lily was convinced that Anna’s comfort was her sole reason for being on this earth.

"Wow, she’s a cutie, just like you said," Carolyn offered. "Got you pretty whipped, huh?"

"You got that right! I swear, she’s got my number," Anna sighed dreamily, her eyes following the little blonde as she worked efficiently to organize their things. "Wait till you get to know her. She’s amazing."

"Well, she’d have to be to win somebody like you." Despite Carolyn’s deep commitment to her partner of seven years, Anna would probably always be "the one that got away." Consciously or not, she knew she would measure Anna’s new love to see if Lily was worthy of the prize she held.

"What a sweet thing to say. So unlike you." the dark haired woman teased. In college, Carolyn had used humor to downplay the seriousness of her feelings for the tall beauty. As a result, Anna had never known that her friend had carried a torch for her.

"Very funny. You’ll be happy to hear that Vicki has retrained me. She makes me talk about my feelings," Carolyn groaned the last word.

Anna chuckled. "That must be torture for somebody like you. You’ve always kept things so deep inside."

"Yeah, well, I have to admit being able to talk about things has helped us get through some hard times over the years."

"Hard times? From the looks of you two, I’d have trouble believing you ever had any trouble at all."

"Hey, I think everybody hits bumps. Ours wasn’t serious. Vicki’s work schedule is pretty demanding during football season, and I had a little trouble adjusting. But we worked it out."

"I’m glad for you. Lily and I talk about everything. She’s just so easy to be with." They rarely argued because they rarely disagreed. Sure, there were the occasional skirmishes over little things, like today when the car dealer finished up late at work. The toughest thing they’d dealt with was the disparity in their finances, and Anna had finally told Lily to just get over it.

"Believe me that will serve both of you well in the long run."

"What’s this about you two serving us?" Vicki asked. She and Lily had finished organizing the new digs. "I’ll have hot chocolate. How about you, Lily?"

"Sounds good."

The taller pair headed off to do their partners’ bidding. "Does your woman boss you around like my woman does?" Carolyn sulked.

"All the time," Anna answered. She loved it.

The foursome talked until the fire died down, then Carolyn got up to store their food in the bear-proof bin. "We’ll see you two in the morning. Vicki promises her famous breakfast burritos." With that, the two couples retreated to their respective tents.

"Oh, this is nice," Anna said softly as the beam from the flashlight revealed the layout of their small quarters. Lily had spread out their sleeping bags on top of two thin air mattresses, covering both bags with two thick blankets. "So we’re not actually going to sleep in our sleeping bags, is that it?"

"We may have to if it gets cold, but this might be enough if we wear sweat pants and cuddle. And if you share the covers," Lily chided. It wasn’t that Anna was a blanket hog; rather, those long legs of hers pulled the blankets loose every single night, usually leaving them piled on the floor by morning.

"Oooo, I like to cuddle," Anna crooned. She enveloped the blonde in a hug and brought her down to the blankets.

"Oh no, you don’t," Lily protested. "Lose the boots, Amazon! You’ll get dirt in our bed." Anna kicked off her hiking boots, setting them under the rain guard outside the tent. "Now put these on." She handed her lover a set of sweats.

"You treat me like a baby," Anna pouted, not minding at all that her partner seemed to take care of her every need.

"That’s because you’re my baby," Lily purred. Taking advantage of the naked window between the jeans and sweats, she circled her arms around her partner’s waist and eased her back against the pillow. The hard kiss that followed signaled Lily’s desire.

Anna was hesitant at first, but found herself oddly turned on by the nearness of the other tent and thus the need to be very quiet. It was almost… naughty. Sure enough, after three "oh baby’s," each a little louder than the one before, Lily laid her fingers across her lover’s lips to remind her of where they were. Anna bit down hard to stifle the cries as she rode out her climax. Twice in the night, Lily woke to pull the blankets across them both, finally tucking them underneath her on the side away from her partner. Snuggled together beneath the covers, their bodies acted as heaters, warding off the chill of the Sierras night.

*  *  *

Saturday was another cloudless April day in California. By eight o’clock, all four women had crawled out of their respective tents, mouths watering for hot coffee and the famous breakfast burritos. "Oh baby," Carolyn moaned. "Will you pass me the hot sauce?" Vicki responded with a scolding elbow to the ribs, too late to stop the twin blushes that rushed to the faces of their friends as they realized her reference.

Lily quickly dismissed her own embarrassment to rescue her partner. "Well, I thought the idea was to be happy campers. I’m certainly happy. Are you happy?" she asked, turning to her lover.

"Oh, I’m definitely happy," Anna smiled and responded with a quick kiss. The awkwardness of the moment was over, thanks to the nonchalance of Lily’s reply. Since she and Lily had been together, the tall beauty had loosened up considerably with regard to discussing sexual things. She now talked freely with her lover about her likes and dislikes–what dislikes?–even sharing many of her feelings with her sister Kim, who finally blushed herself when Anna told her the details of how she liked to touch Lily. "How about you, Carolyn? Are you happy?"

"If she doesn’t behave herself, it’s going to be quite a while before she’s happy again," Vicki cut in.

"Well, then I’d better start being good, because I really like being happy. Especially when I can make someone else happy too. I mean it’s a real drag to make only yourself happy…"

"That’s enough!"

"Okay," Carolyn said sheepishly.

Anna couldn’t resist leaning over to add her dig. "And you said I was whipped."

After breakfast, the four friends set out on a six-mile hike to the meadow beneath Yosemite Falls, the majestic centerpiece of the national park. Lily fell in step with Carolyn on the point, while Anna and Vicki brought up the rear.

Lily found that she had already warmed up to both of the new friends, thanks to the Seattle couple’s easy nature, and to her own. "I’m glad to finally get a chance to thank you for steering Anna my way," she began jovially. More than the others, the blonde was accustomed to the rigors of a mountain trail. No longer tied to house chores on Saturday–Anna had a cleaning lady twice a week–Lily took to the San Gabriel trails most Saturdays while her lover was at the dealership. She was going to have to curb her energy today in order to set a pace that was comfortable for the others. Twelve miles was a pretty long day for the occasional hiker. "She told me about her trip to Seattle last year. From what I heard about it, everything you said was right on. I was scared to death she’d freak out if she found out how I felt about her."

"Well, you know how I knew, don’t you? Did she tell you that I went through the same thing with her 11 years ago?" The redhead looked back at her partner and the tall woman and smiled warmly.

"She told me a little, enough I think. I know she cared for you a lot back in college. And that she obviously still does," Lily added.

"Yeah, I knew she liked me, loved me even, but not in the way I wanted her to. I was just coming to terms with who I was, and part of that was because I couldn’t deny the feelings that I had for her anymore. I tell you, those were tough times," she said wistfully. "What about you? When did you figure things out about yourself?"

"I guess when I was a freshman in high school. My friends were drooling over guys like Tom Cruise and River Phoenix; but I was thinking about Jodie Foster. I didn’t just think about her movies, though. I thought about her. I wondered about how she took her coffee, how she kissed, that kind of stuff. I mean, I wasn’t going to shoot the president or anything to get her attention," she quipped, her reference to John Hinckley’s statement of his motivation for shooting Reagan. "But that’s where my teenage fantasies started to go."

"So what was it like being gay in high school?" Carolyn would love to have those years back, knowing then what she knew now.

"Not a picnic, I have to say." Though the sting was long gone, Lily still remembered the painful betrayal of people she thought were her friends. "It was important at my high school to be like everyone else, in every way possible. I think being gay broke the cardinal rule, so I didn’t really fit in anywhere. In hindsight, I don’t think I really missed anything."

"What about your family? How did they deal with it?"

"It’s just my mom and me, and she’s always been really supportive. We had a close family friend who was a lesbian." Katharine Fortier was the lawyer who had helped Eleanor finalize Lily’s adoption. Lily idolized her, and had followed in her footsteps as a family attorney.

"You’re lucky. My parents didn’t speak to me for about four years after I told them. It took a brother needing a bone marrow transplant to bring us back together."

"Wow, you donated bone marrow? I hear that’s painful."

"Yeah, but I never gave it a second thought. I always loved my family, especially my little brother, even though they all pushed me out for a while. I’d like to think any of them would have done the same for me, but I’ll never really know for sure."

Lily was fascinated by the tale. Though she hadn’t faced any problems at home, Anna still struggled a bit with her father, who wanted his daughter to have a ‘more normal’ life. "Are all of you close again now?"

"More or less. They like Vicki a lot, so that’s made it pretty easy to spend time with them. But we’ll never get those years back."

George needs to hear that, Lily thought. She got along very well with Anna’s father, but he still hadn’t fully accepted Anna’s relationship with her. The two of them had talked privately about it last year, and Lily assured him that she was going to dog him until he gave in. He genuinely liked her, and admired her determination to win him over, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around his daughter being in a relationship with another woman. "I wish Anna’s dad would give it up. I think it hurts her that he’s withheld his approval for so long, especially after we moved in together last year."

"What about the rest of her family? How are they?" Carolyn remembered her visit to the Kaklis home back in college.

"Martine’s great. Kim and Hal are wonderful, probably our best friends. And David’s pretty cool with it. It’s just George," she lamented.

"It’s too bad he’s like that. But it could be a whole lot worse. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually."

"Yeah, that’s what Martine says. I hope she’s right."

"You two better not be talking about me!" Anna shouted from behind.

"God, what an ego!" Lily turned and rolled her eyes dramatically. "Did it ever occur to you that we might be talking about Vicki!"

The petite brunette frowned and arched an eyebrow at her partner. "And just what were saying about me, Ms. Bunting?"

"I was telling Lily how sweet you are. And how smart you are. And how happy you make me!" She winked at the last.

Lily waited for the pair, then tugged on Vicki’s arm. "Why don’t you walk up here with me for awhile? Let the Cal Poly nerds entertain each other. Tell me all about the Seahawks. Can you believe the second largest city in America doesn’t even have a football team?" she groused.

"So we’re the nerds?" Carolyn asked her taller friend as they lagged back.

"Pay them no mind," Anna said. "It’s good back here. We can watch their butts." A sly grin played across her face.

"Good idea!" They did just that, commenting here and there on the curve and the sway. Both of the shorter women looked fine in their faded jeans. "So Anna, it looks like you’ve settled into this lesbian thing."

"I suppose. I’ve sure settled into Lily." Anna really didn’t think much about the labels. She couldn’t picture herself with anyone else, regardless of gender.

"I can see why. She’s a prize." Carolyn admired the little blonde’s backside.

She certainly is. Anna had been thinking a lot of late about her feelings for the beautiful blonde. "Carolyn, how did you know that Vicki was the one?" Anna’s question was quiet, not only because she didn’t want Lily to overhear, but also because the subject unnerved her so. Was Lily the one?

"I didn’t." Carolyn could sense that her friend was struggling with this one, and she felt honored once again to be the one Anna turned to for help. "If you’re looking for some magic sign, forget it. There’s no fate. There’s no cupid. It’s really not something that’s pre-ordained."

"I was afraid of that. I’m going to have to do something, aren’t I?"

The redhead chuckled at her friend’s resignation. "You and Lily both, if you want it to last. And that’s the key, wanting it to last. Wanting it badly enough to commit to working for it. I decided one day that I wanted Vicki to be the one. I told her so, and she said the same about me."

"This sounds familiar… in a bad way." She and Scott Rutherford had exchanged vows like these. "What keeps you from throwing in the towel when it gets hard?"

Carolyn knew where her friend’s head had gone. "You know the answer to that, Anna. Why did you give up on Scott? You have to want to keep it. Unless you really want it, you won’t be able to bring yourself to work through the hard parts."

Anna considered her friend’s words. Yes, she’d given up on Scott, knowing that she didn’t want it badly enough to work as hard as she would have to in order to get past their problems. "That’s the point, though. How do I know that…" She caught herself and lowered her voice so the other women wouldn’t hear them. "How do I know that Lily is the one that I’ll work for?"

"You’re already working, aren’t you? She told me about your dad. If you didn’t want it pretty badly, I doubt you’d have let her come between you and your family." She watched the tall woman process this bit. "Am I right?"

"Yeah, but even that hasn’t really been hard. She’s got Dad wrapped around her finger, they just don’t know it! Things with us have been pretty effortless."

"But it may not always be that way. Having a commitment of some kind gives you both assurances that the other is going to work through the problems. It’s a pretty good feeling to know that somebody is going to love you, warts and all."

"What if she doesn’t want it?"

"Then it won’t work. Plain and simple."

"So I should ask her?"

"I think you should just tell her. If she feels the same way, she’ll let you know. Once you both decide to make a commitment to each other, you’ll be surprised at what a huge difference it makes in how you feel about your lives together."

Now there’s the rub. Things were going fine with Scott until she accepted his proposal. As soon as that happened, she began to second guess herself. As it was, things were going fine with Lily. What if talking to her about some kind of commitment changed everything, caused both of them to raise their expectations or to start feeling pressure or anxiety about things? That fear alone was enough for Anna to accept the status quo. Maybe in time…

They reached the falls just after noon, marveling at its towering magnificence and thunderous roar. Both couples posed for pictures, and a fellow hiker snapped one of the four together. Though neither knew it at the time, it would be a day Anna and Lily would long remember.

*  *  *

Lily fixed chicken stir-fry on the camp stove for dinner, one of Anna’s favorites. As she cooked–rice took forever on a Coleman stove–the others took advantage of the time to rest, putting their feet up next to the fire. Lily was probably the only one in the bunch who wouldn’t be sore tomorrow from their all-day hike. "Should I set the table or do you want to just fix a plate and sit by the fire?"

"I’ll give you a thousand dollars if you’ll fix my plate and bring it to me," Anna called out. She was serious.

"Keep your money, Amazon. I’ll fix your plate. In fact, why don’t you all stay put and I’ll serve you." No one argued. Nor did they jump up later to help Lily clean up the dishes. Lily chuckled discreetly at her comrades’ condition. Wimps! Somebody’s going to need a massage later.

It was dark now, and the couples huddled together by the fire. Lily sat behind her lover on a log, opening her legs in invitation for Anna to lean back. When she did, the blonde promptly wrapped her arms around the broad shoulders and kissed the dark-haired woman softly on the ear. "I love you," she whispered. It was fun being able to show affection in front of others.

"Vicki and I have decided to let you guys in on a little secret," Carolyn announced. She took her partner’s hand and continued. "We’ve gone for a few consultations with a doctor in Seattle about artificial insemination, and when we get back, Vicki is going to start trying to get pregnant." The two them simply beamed at their news.

"That’s awesome!" Lily proclaimed excitedly. Carolyn seemed so proud. She’d make a great mom, Lily thought. She’s so solid, just like Anna.

"Wow, it sure is," Anna agreed. "That’s such exciting news! You guys are going to be great parents." Of that, Anna was certain. The way these two women interacted left her no doubt of the love in their home. Vicki had that nurturing quality so important to raising children. Lily has that too, Anna thought. Look at how well she takes care of me.

The happy couple regaled Anna and Lily with their plans for a nursery, baby names, and a part-time nanny–though Vicki would stay home for three months, then Carolyn for the next three. One of the things they were trying to work out was securing the anonymous sperm donor who would be available a year or two later, should Carolyn decide that she too wanted to have a child. That would make their children related by blood.

"Boy, you’ve really thought this out." Anna was fascinated by their plans. She and Scott had talked briefly about having a baby, but that idea was derailed by their marital problems. Anna knew though that a child would have tied her irrevocably to the man, regardless of their individual differences.

"Yeah, we’ve been talking about it and making plans for about three years," Vicki said. "We think we’ve got a lot to offer a child."

"Well, I agree," Anna spouted enthusiastically. She couldn’t help but admire her friends for their commitment to one another, and to their decision.

The night air grew chilly as the fire died down. The redhead stood and stretched, pulling her petite partner to her feet. "I guess we should turn in. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m really tired from that walk."

Anna and Lily took their cue and stood as well. "Oh, by the way," Lily stopped the Seattle pair as they hobbled toward their tent. "I promised Anna a massage tonight." Anna thought it peculiar that Lily would tell them that. "She, uh… sometimes moans when I do that." With a small smirk, she guided her lover to their tent.

Wriggling in the cramped space, the couple changed into their sweats for the night. "I think it’s my turn to make somebody else moan tonight," Anna murmured softly, trailing her tongue sexily across her lover’s ear.

"Well, you certainly know how to do that, Amazon." Anna’s touch set her on fire. "But you better let me rub the soreness out of your legs first or you won’t be able to walk tomorrow."

"I can hardly walk now," Anna admitted. She rolled onto her stomach as Lily kneeled between her feet. Her lover’s fingers felt magical as they kneaded the tender muscles of her calves and thighs, rising occasionally to squeeze her tired buttocks. So relaxing…

Lily gripped the calf muscles through the sweatpants and started to squeeze, gently at first, then with more pressure. Her busy hands traveled to the soft tissue at the back of the knee, where she tenderly caressed the spot on the side that was injured in the earthquake over two years ago. Next, she kneaded the tightened hamstrings until she felt them relax, finishing with the firm buttocks. God, I love this butt! It was very possibly Lily’s favorite feature of Anna’s beautiful body, though she noticed that her favorite feature changed often, depending on what she was admiring at the time. "Is that better?" The silence told her that her lover had fallen asleep. Sweet dreams, Amazon.

*  *  *

I’m freezing! Anna woke to find the blankets tangled at her feet–How does that happen?–and Lily tucked tightly against her side. Reaching down, she pulled the two blankets up to her chin and fluffed them until they covered both women completely. In the darkness, she could barely make out her lover’s silhouette, but she had memorized the shapely form.

I can’t believe I fell asleep on her tonight. She’d wanted very much to connect with her lover tonight, the feelings of love that she’d voiced with Carolyn still fresh in her heart. Anna stared hard to discern the facial features, and couldn’t resist reaching out. In that instant, she reached a decision that would change her life forever. She wanted Lily to be the one.

"Is everything okay?" Lily had awakened to feel Anna’s gentle caress on her face.

"Yeah, it’s fine." Anna ran her fingers behind her lover’s ear to cup the blonde head. "I love you so much."

Lily recognized the intonation. Sometimes Anna would come to her, her voice low and thick with emotion, seemingly desperate to connect. These were some of her favorite moments. "Show me."

Without hesitation, Anna responded by pulling her close, reaching beneath Lily’s sweatshirt, and running the heel of her hand hard across her lover’s back. Meeting resistance from the tightened drawstring at the waistband of her pants, she pulled loose the tie, allowing her unfettered access to all that was below. Pushing the material down, she stroked the curve of Lily’s hips, cupping her rear as she pulled her still closer. In moments, she was inside her lover, her thumb circling the already sensitive bundle of nerves. "You feel so good to me."

Lily pressed rhythmically against the hand that caressed her, amazed at her own body’s rapid response. "Ahhh!" She stiffened and gasped for air as the climax rushed through her body. From zero to orgasm in four and a half minutes!

"I love it when you come for me," Anna whispered, a single tear leaking from the corner of her eye as she felt her lover still. It wasn’t sadness; it wasn’t joy. It was an undefined emotion that had nowhere else to go.

*  *  *

Anna was quiet on the drive home, lost in thought about the future she wanted with the small woman behind the wheel. So much had changed for the dark-haired woman in the past two years. Looking back, Anna knew that the seeds of love had been planted in the collapsed mall. How else could she explain the longing she felt for finding her friend again?

Anna had learned so much from Lily, especially since they moved into the big Brentwood home late last summer. She’d learned the give and take of everyday life with a partner, no longer needing as much of the private time that she used to crave. She’d learned the value of being able to talk about things openly–all things–and conversely, the senselessness of keeping feelings inside. But mostly, she’d learned about love: how to express it in words, in actions, and with her body; how to receive it without doubt or obligation; and how to nurture it to make it grow.

Don’t ask her. Tell her. That was Carolyn’s advice. I will, just not in the car! She’d plan a candlelight dinner for the weekend, with a long night and lazy romantic day ahead. Maybe next Saturday.

"You’re staring at me, Amazon."

"Give me a break! This is Bakersfield. What else is there to look at?" Lily is so cute!

"Now there’s a compliment! ‘You’re better than Bakersfield.’ Be still my heart!"

"Although Bakersfield is quiet…"

"Aren’t you funny!" Lily loved it when Anna showed her quick wit. "Did you have a good time this weekend?"

"Yes, I did. I’m really glad you got to meet Carolyn and Vicki. Aren’t they great?"

"I liked them both a lot, but the best part of my weekend was being with you." All joking aside now, Lily wanted Anna to know how she felt about their time together. "I really appreciate you coming away with me this weekend. We’ve both been working a lot and I’ve missed you. It was special."

"For me too." Anna took the small hand on the console and squeezed. A long moment passed as she remembered her thoughts from a few minutes before. Yes, she definitely wanted Lily to be the one.

"So what did you think of Carolyn and Vicki’s news?" Lily was nervous about bringing up the subject, strangely afraid that Anna might think she was trying to drop a hint. Having kids together was a big time commitment, and she and Anna hadn’t yet moved past "living together." Not that she wouldn’t welcome some kind of commitment, but she’d already spelled out that she wanted "everything Anna would give her," so the ball was definitely in her lover’s court. In the meantime, she would relish what they had.

"I thought it was fabulous! Half the fun is seeing them so excited already. I just hope everything goes okay." Anna couldn’t help but wonder if children would be in their future as well. "Have you ever thought about having a child?"

If you want children, I’ll spit ‘em out one right after another until you tell me to stop! "I don’t know. I guess if anything, I always assumed I would adopt rather than have my own. You know, a family tradition," she joked.

"You were seven when you were adopted, right?"

Lily nodded. "And Mom was two when she was adopted."

"Wow, you never told me that before. So Eleanor is adopted too."

"Yeah, so I think she sort of thought about it a lot. Adopting a kid, that is."

"You never wanted to have a child that was part of you?" It was an innocent turn of phrase, a comparison of adoption versus what Carolyn and Vicki had chosen.

Lily was quiet for a long moment. She knew that Anna hadn’t meant to say something hurtful, but Lily had been hearing things like this all her life. She needed to have Anna understand how she felt about being adopted. It was fundamental to who she was. "You know, I’d like to think I was more a part of Eleanor Stuart than of Lisa Parker."

Oh god, what an insensitive thing to say! "Of course you are. Sweetheart, I’m sorry. That was a really stupid thing to say. Of course you’re a part of Eleanor, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not glad of it." She squeezed the small hand again. "Really, baby, I’m sorry."

"It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean anything bad. It’s sort of hard to explain, but it was like Mom and I needed each other. We fit together like mother and daughter from the very first day I moved into her house as a foster child. If I were to adopt a child, I would want to feel that need as much as I did when I was little."

Anna thought of Lily’s school picture from her first year with Eleanor. That one, along with subsequent years on up to graduation from law school, decorated the stairwell in Eleanor’s San Jose home. "You know baby, any child would be very lucky to find you."

Find ‘me.’ Not find ‘us.’ Lily couldn’t bring herself to turn the question around for her lover. Everything about this conversation seemed to suggest that Anna didn’t see herself parenting Lily’s children. What does that say about Anna’s feelings for where their relationship was headed? What started as an innocent discussion about their friends having a baby had left her feeling a bone-deep sadness.

CHAPTER 2

"T HAT’S RIGHT, A Cinco de Mayo sale, weekend after next. A full color double truck," Anna used the newspaper lingo for an ad that stripped across two pages.

George Kaklis loomed in the doorway, waiting for his daughter to finish the phone order.

"No, just the usual for this weekend. I’ll have Brad send you the VINs this afternoon." Anna waved her father in. "Thanks, Steve. So long."

George shook his head in admiration at Anna’s professional demeanor. He had finally heard the story of the fiasco two years ago at the Del in San Diego, when Steve French had behaved so pompously. He was amazed that his daughter still spoke to the man, but she had insisted that the Del was personal, and she was over it. This was business, and as long as the Times brought traffic to the lot, she had no issues with Steve.

"What’s up, Dad?"

"I wanted to ask if you’d join us all for dinner at Empyre’s on Saturday night. I have some big news to share and I’d like the whole family there."

"Big news? Do I get a hint?"

"Sure. It’s good news. But that’s all I’m going to say."

"Okay, what about Jonah? I’m not coming unless Jo-Jo’s there." Anna grinned every time she thought about her nephew. Kim and Hal had surprised everyone last year with the announcement in June that she was four months pregnant. After two miscarriages, they had sat on the news until she reached the second trimester. Now five months old, the little man was the center of the entire Kaklis universe.

"Are you kidding? He’s the only reason I invited Kim and Hal!" George and Martine were the epitome of doting grandparents.

"And Lily is invited, of course?" This was going to put a dent in her romantic weekend plans, but that would give her a little more time to plan everything so it would be perfect.

The patriarch gave an exaggerated groan. "I suppose so," he pouted. Anna wasn’t quite sure when she realized that this was just George’s shtick. She hoped he was ready to accept her relationship with the woman, especially now that she wanted to make it permanent. Lily had made it so easy for him, meeting his resistance with her offhanded humor. The little blonde had simply broken him down.

"Sounds good, but let me check with her first."

*  *  *

Business was slower than usual that week, as the LA area collected almost four inches of much needed rain. Anna welcomed the chance to catch up on paperwork, and was feeling pretty good about the state of affairs at Premium Motors.

She, Kim and David had pumped one another all week for clues as to what their father was going to share with them. Finally Saturday came, and the Kaklis family converged on Empyre’s. George and Martine arrived last and were shown to the large round table in the corner of the restaurant. Mrs. Kaklis had only learned of this dinner yesterday, and was very annoyed at her husband for planning this behind her back. Furthermore, she had no idea what George was going to announce, and she was hurt that he hadn’t told her first in private.

Anna quickly claimed the seat next to Jonah and his mom. In fact, she had arrived early on purpose, knowing that Martine or David would have chosen that seat had either been given the chance. Kim was more than happy to turn the little guy over to his cooing aunt, hoping in secret that he would choose this moment–and not the next–to reject the rice cereal he’d tried for the very first time this afternoon.

George took the vacant chair next to Lily and immediately gestured for the wine list, pointing out his choice quickly to the looming waiter. "Good evening, Lilian," he said formally, turning to face the blonde attorney.

"My, aren’t we polite! I’m not moving out, George."

"You keep saying that. But it’s going to get crowded when Anna’s new husband moves in."

"Have you been skipping your meds again? You’re delusional."

George tasted the wine and motioned for the waiter to fill the glasses. "Have some wine, Lilian. It will ease the heartbreak."

The attentive waiter filled their glasses again before taking their order, and at George’s signal, brought two more bottles for the table. Chattering with George, the blonde was already getting quite a nice buzz from the merlot.

"He looks good on you, sweetheart," Lily whispered to her lover, who held a smiling Jonah in her lap. Very, very good, the blonde thought. "You’re a natural."

"You want to hold him?" Anna offered. She really didn’t want to give him up, but the sight of the infant in Lily’s lap was a tempting tradeoff.

"No, that’s okay. I mean I do, but he looks happy where he is." As if on cue, Jonah sputtered and laughed, waving his arms up and down as Lily made exaggerated happy faces. His delighted squeal commanded the attention of the entire table, further evidence that he was indeed the center of the Kaklis universe.

Once dinner was ordered, all eyes finally turned to George. No one had a clue of his impending announcement, and all were growing impatient.

"So what’s up, Dad? Spill it!" David said eagerly. He had a date later this evening, but he didn’t want to miss out on the big news.

George leaned back and smiled at the expectant faces one by one. "Well, where should I start?" He truly enjoyed and appreciated the devotion of his family, and he sincerely hoped that his news would be something they all would welcome. "I’ve been thinking lately about all my blessings. I have a wonderful family, a loving wife and a successful business. I’ve realized that I’d like to start spending less time with that business and more time with my family, especially this beautiful woman beside me and that little fellow over there." He nodded lovingly at his wife and the now sleepy infant. "And who knows, I might even play a little more golf." Everyone turned and exchanged astonished looks. "To that end, I’ve decided to step down as president of Premier Motors."

Martine was flabbergasted. Was George really giving up the business? No more late dinners, no more distracted conversations, no more sacrificing vacation and family time for the dealership! "George, do you mean it?" She was already out of her chair reaching for her husband.

"Absolutely, darling." They shared a hug and then a kiss so deep that it embarrassed all three of the siblings, especially David.

The patriarch turned next to his daughter, who was equally astounded. "Anna, I think you’re ready to move up into the big chair now, but if you’ll have me, I’d still like to serve the company in some lesser capacity. I know that’s going to mean a lot more work for you, and I’ll help with the transition. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think you were ready."

Martine could hardly contain her excitement. "Does this mean that I can start planning a real vacation?"

George smiled at his wife and took her hand. "Well, I’ll have to ask the boss if I can have a little time off, but I’m in pretty good with her, so I think she’ll say yes."

Anna was speechless. As Christia Kaklis’ sole heir, she already owned all of the stock in the company, so it was no surprise that she would someday take the helm. But now that it was actually happening, she was almost overcome, eager to start planning the changes she would make. If she were indeed calling the shots, she would take the company in a new direction, one that her father would likely oppose. "I think a vacation is a great idea, Dad. Make it a long one. I have to order new furniture and get your junk moved out of the corner office." She handed Jonah back to his mom, stood and walked to the head of the table, giving her father a heartfelt hug.

"Congratulations, sweetheart. You’re going to make a great boss." He knew that his stepping down would mean that Anna would be overwhelmed at the dealership until she surrounded herself with the right managers.

Lily beamed at the news, genuinely excited at what this meant for all of the Kaklis family, but especially for her lover, who she knew relished the opportunity. On several occasions, Anna had excitedly outlined her plans for the company if she were in control, including some very dramatic changes. Lily knew too that George would oppose some of the moves, but felt strongly that he would support his daughter in the transition. She took her lover’s hand as the new president slipped back into her chair. "I’m so proud of you, honey. This is so exciting!"

Anna’s mind was already racing about what she would do first. "Dad, will you be making the announcement public soon? I think we should call our agency and ask them to prepare a press release. You can let the staff know at the end of the day and it will come out in the next day’s Times."

Kim and Hal were kicking each other under the table trying not to laugh out loud after Hal whispered "What’s your hurry, George? Here’s your hat."

Dinner progressed as Martine dreamily called out vacation sites for everyone’s reaction. "Hawaii."

"Hawaii’s a long weekend. If you want the islands or the beaches, try Tahiti or Thailand." Kim’s friends traveled a lot.

A long weekend in Hawaii? What a brilliant idea! Anna immediately pondered a romantic getaway with Lily before implementing the changes at the dealership, one in which she would tell the beautiful woman beside her that she was ready to commit her life to their love.

"Okay, Australia then," Martine suggested.

"Now you’re talking," said Hal. "I’ve heard New Zealand is beautiful too."

Anna hadn’t offered any suggestions for vacation destinations, her mind obviously elsewhere. She shocked everyone when she suddenly turned to her brother-in-law and out of the blue asked him, "Hal, how would you like to be my right hand man in the car business?" Hal was too surprised to speak. "I’ve got some things in mind that could be fun for a bean counter. Think about it. I’ll call you later in the week."

What on earth is she up to? George wondered. Surely she wouldn’t turn the company on its ear right out of the gate.

The dinner turned into a celebration for both George and Anna, with each person at the table offering their accolades and best wishes. David was the first to depart, citing his late date with Heather. When Jonah got fussy, everyone decided to take their leave.

George stood and offered his hand to help Lily to her feet. To everyone’s dismay, she ducked under his arm and twirled gracefully beside him. "You dance divinely," she said.

"Ha! Wait till you see me dance at Anna’s wedding!" He resumed the gag.

"You’re throwing us a wedding!" the blonde exclaimed excitedly. Lily was obviously tipsy, but adorably so, and everyone was amused at her antics with George.

The man flinched as though he’d been slapped. "Perish the thought! Anna, perhaps you could lose this woman on the way home!"

The group’s departure was typically chaotic. As usual, Hal was sent to order the cars, Lily ducked into the ladies room, and Martine retrieved the raincoats and umbrellas from the coat check. While she waited for Lily, Anna pulled Kim aside to ask how she felt about the offer to her husband.

"Are you kidding? I hope you’re really serious about wanting him to work with you? He’s going to say yes, I’ll tell you right now. He’s thought I don’t know how many times about asking for the chance to work there."

"Look, I’m going to need somebody smart that I trust. Hal’s that guy. It might mean some long hours at first, but I promise not to work him to death."

Lily’s timing was perfect, arriving at the door the moment the X-5 appeared. Anna stepped in just as the blonde reached for the keys. "Oh no, you don’t."

Lily acquiesced immediately and climbed into the passenger seat. Leaning out, she delivered the parting shot. "Hey George! You better be nice to me. I know your boss!"

Anna pulled out of the drive and turned toward their home. "Buckle your seatbelt, baby."

Lily did exactly as she was told, fumbling a little with the catch. "I love it when you call me baby."

Anna smiled at her lover. "You were on a roll tonight. I swear you’re going to wear him down."

"That’s the idea, sweetheart. He’s putty in my hands," the blonde slurred.

Gosh, she was cute! "You and Dad looked like you were enjoying yourselves. So how many glasses of wine did you have, little pygmy?"

"’Little pygmy?’"

I can’t believe I said that!

"’Little pygmy’ is redundant, Amazon." Lily loved this game!

"Oh boy, here it comes," Anna groaned.

"Tuna fish."

Anna thought a moment. "Feta cheese."

"Tomato ketchup."

"Puppy dog." The car dealer was saving "kitty cat" and "bunny rabbit" for later contests.

"Kitty cat."

Damn! "Bunny rabbit."

"Hot water heater."

"You’re hilarious."

The attorney had been storing these phrases in her brain since she was eleven. She collected them from a variety of sources, but her favorite was sports broadcasts. Usually, if sports announcers didn’t outright deliver a redundant phrase–"painful groin injury" and "his x-rays were negative" came to mind–they made up for it by saying the exact same thing three or four times. She guessed their market research had described a largely dimwitted audience that required repetition.

Anna triggered the automatic opener for the garage door and pulled the SUV alongside her brand new cobalt Z8, BMW’s sleek two-seater convertible roadster, longer and more powerful than the Z3 or Z4. The car dealer had personally imported it from Germany, as it would not be available in the US until next year. She had cajoled Lily into driving tonight to avoid taking her new baby out in the rain. "Stay there. I’ll come around." Anna didn’t want to risk Lily hurting herself on the rain-slickened concrete floor. Together, they huddled under the umbrella and hurried to the side porch.

Before Anna could even slip out of her wet shoes, Lily was covering her face and neck with passionate kisses. Happily accepting the greeting, Anna murmured. "Oh my, somebody’s feeling sexy tonight."

Despite the intimacy they shared so freely, both women still harbored a few sexual inhibitions that they hadn’t even discussed. Thanks to Lily’s four, no five glasses of wine tonight, she was about to lose one of hers. Leading Anna quietly to their upstairs suite, she teased her with promises of a special surprise.

Lily hungrily removed her lover’s clothing in a frenzy, kissing and nipping the naked skin as it was revealed. Anna anticipated that she would be taken hard and fast. She was bewildered when Lily abruptly stopped her touches and guided the woman to a lounging position on their king sized bed.

With excruciating stops and starts, Lily took several long minutes to remove her own shoes, her dress, her black stockings, and her black lacy bra and matching thong. Kneeling naked at the foot of the bed, in full view of her lover, the sexy blonde did something she’d never done before with another soul. She closed her eyes and began to caress her own body, her tongue making slow circles around her open lips.

Anna thought she would lose her mind as she stared at the most erotic sight she had ever seen. Unable to control her desire as Lily made love to her own breasts, she reached out and touched her lover’s hip. Suddenly, the green eyes opened wide and directed her wordlessly back against the pillows. As Anna watched two fingers slide beneath the curly brown patch of hair, she shuddered as she mentally mapped where those fingers had gone.

Moaning, panting, gasping for breath, Lily climaxed, and within seconds, entered her lover with those same slickened fingers. The blue-eyed beauty was way past ready, and in only moments, it was over.

*  *  *

Anna set her coffee and bagel on the corner of the kitchen table as she spread out the Sunday Times. This was one of her favorite things to do each weekend, though she preferred to be out on the patio by the pool. The weather made that impossible today, but the open window in the breakfast nook brought in cool, rain freshened air that more than made up for the change in venue.

A shuffling of bare feet signaled her partner’s arrival. "Must have coffee," the little blonde groaned.

"Good morning, my sexy beast," Anna purred. Last night had been a delightful surprise.

For no reason that she could understand, Lily was feeling a little embarrassed by her display last night. Even in the light of day, she was uncertain whether Anna was teasing her or genuinely voicing her approval. Go with humor, she told herself. "Yeah well, you’ve got to pull out all the stops when you’re making love with a CEO." She made her way to the table, but stopped herself. "Must have aspirin," she groaned again, clutching the side of her head.

"Poor baby."

CHAPTER 3

A S KIM HAD predicted, Hal called Anna on Sunday afternoon and accepted her offer to come to work at Premium Motors. The following week was a whirlwind, with George announcing his departure at a special staff meeting on Tuesday afternoon and Hal coming in on Wednesday morning. To everyone’s dismay, Anna immediately named her brother-in-law vice-president of finance and set him up in her old office. Behind closed doors, she quickly laid out her plan for growing the business and he was charged with working the numbers to get it done.

Brad, the longtime sales manager, was also promoted to the vice-president level, and would handle the day to day operations as Anna had under her father’s leadership. He needed help though, something she knew from how much she had depended on him. Holly Martin, last year’s hire from San Diego, was a natural to move up. She knew more about the cars than any salesperson on the lot, and she had a real gift for closing the deal.

"Anna Kaklis, you have a call on line one. Anna Kaklis, line one." If possible, Carmen sounded even more official as she called the new company president to the phone. Anna had been taking congratulatory calls from the business community all week after the press release in the Times. Fellow car dealers especially were anticipating bold moves from this up and comer.

"This is Anna Kaklis."

"And this is Anna Kaklis’ love slave."

The car dealer couldn’t contain the belly laugh that roared up at the image of a leather-clad Lily in chains. It was so not them. "Oh, I don’t think so, Pygmy. I think it’s pretty clear who the slave is at our house."

Lily smiled at her own remembrance of the scene last weekend in which Anna had done exactly as directed. "Maybe we should take turns," she suggested… suggestively.

"I’m for that," Anna said without hesitation. Anything for you. She had asked Carmen to track down a few Hawaiian getaway packages for Memorial Weekend, knowing that Lily would have that Monday off. She would choose the one that was most romantic.

"Listen, we just got an invitation to Sandy and Suzanne’s for dinner. She’s fixing something that sounds French. You want to go?"

Anna checked her watch, then the pile of papers on her desk. "You know what? I’d like to, but I’ve got a stack of deals on my desk that I need to look at. I tell you, we’ve been turning them over all day long." The sunny weather and the Cinco de Mayo sale had brought the car buyers out in droves. With George already on a golf trip with Martine in Phoenix, Anna felt the need to stick close to Brad and Holly as they adjusted to their new positions. In time, they’d pick it up, and she’d be able to leave them on their own. "Why don’t you go, and I’ll see you at home tonight."

That wasn’t exactly the answer Lily wanted, but she knew her lover was swamped with work this week. "You’re sure?"

"Yeah, have fun. Tell them both I said hi, and we’ll have them over soon. Okay?"

"Alright, lover. I’ll see you tonight."

The car dealer felt a little guilty about not getting home earlier tonight. Saturday nights had always been Lily Time, but she knew things would be back to normal as soon as everyone at the dealership got their groove. The mountain of paperwork kept her at the desk until almost 10. To her chagrin, she had found errors–mostly transposition of numbers–in eight of the contracts Holly had written.

Anna was disappointed to find a darkened house, a sign that Lily was still with their friends. But she didn’t begrudge her lover having a good time while she was chained to her desk with paperwork. Truth be told, Lily’s being out meant she was having a good time, and that eased Anna’s guilt that she hadn’t been home before 10 any night this week. This had been Hell Week, and next week didn’t look much better. Worst of all, she was trying to think how to break it to her lover that she really needed to be on the lot for most of the day tomorrow as well.

The exhausted woman passed through the kitchen, staring for a moment at the contents of the refrigerator before settling on the old standby: This was her fourth late night peanut butter sandwich this week. Since Lily wasn’t here to keep her company in the kitchen, Anna dragged herself up the stairs to draw a bath. She and Lily usually climbed into the hot tub out by the pool when they came home tired, but it wasn’t much fun alone.

A ringing phone stopped the tall beauty just as she was about to step into the tub. The single ring confirmed that it was her line, since Lily’s line emitted a double ring. Due to the nature of her work, the attorney felt she needed a private line with a professional sounding outgoing message on the voicemail.

"Hello."

"Anna! We missed you tonight."

"Hi Sandy! I’m sorry I couldn’t make it. Did you guys have a good time?"

"We certainly did. In fact, some of us had a little better time than others."

Uh-oh! She presumed this meant Lily. "What’s my little girl done?"

"Nothing, but we’re not letting her drive home. Do you want to come get her, or can we keep her for the night?"

Anna thought about the fun they’d had last weekend when Lily had let herself go, and was momentarily tempted to dash out the door. On the other hand, she probably wouldn’t have time to take Lily out to Sherman Oaks tomorrow to pick up her car, so the latter option made more practical sense. "Why don’t you keep her for the night? I’m beat. I was just about to get in the tub. Would that be alright?"

"Of course. I’ll have her call you in the morning."

"Is she there right now?"

"Yeah, but she’s in the bathroom losing an excellent Chicken Lyon."

*  *  *

Out of the corner of her eye, Anna saw the familiar X-5 drive onto the lot and pull around back. No fewer than two dozen of the silver SUVs stopped in across any given week, but somehow the car dealer sensed when her lover was behind the wheel. Excusing herself from Holly’s office, she made her way through the customer lounge to the back door, just in time to greet the cute little blonde. "This is a nice surprise," she said excitedly. "I missed you last night."

"Me too you, Amazon." She tugged the car dealer into a receded doorway so she could steal a hug and a quick kiss. On top of dealing with a formidable hangover this morning, she was more than a little put out at waking up alone in a strange bed. "You should have come for me," she pouted. "I would have made it worth your while."

Of that, Anna had no doubt. "I’m sorry baby. I didn’t get home until pretty late, and I was already in the tub when Sandy called." A white lie.

"You’re not going to work all day, are you?" It wasn’t a question really, and they both knew it.

"No," the car dealer acquiesced. She needed time with the blonde as much as Lily needed time with her. "Let me finish up with Holly. I’ll be 30 minutes behind you. What do you want to do this afternoon?"

"Just come home, Amazon. I’ll worry about the entertainment," her voice was low and seductive.

Thirty minutes turned into 90 minutes, but Lily dismissed her irritation when Anna walked in and immediately pulled her upstairs to the master suite. Today was Sunday, and on Sundays, they took their time with one another, finding many ways to bring pleasure in the bright light of day.

*  *  *

Pauline made her way down the hall as soon as she saw Lily slip into Lauren’s office. "Did you guys get a present yet?" The 21-year-old secretary hadn’t had much experience in the social graces.

"I got them a set of sheets and towels from the web site where they registered." Lily prided herself on her efficiency and web shopping prowess. As far as she was concerned, the internet was the only civilized way to shop.

"I got them a place setting at Bloomingdales," Lauren added.

All three women kept their voices low so that Tony wouldn’t overhear. Come Saturday at four o’clock, hearts all over town would break as their boss ceased being one of LA’s most eligible bachelors. Colleen Turner, a young widow with two small children, had applied for an internship at the firm last fall, hoping to get some hands-on experience with the social services system. Colleen was fresh out of law school, and had always aspired to practice family law. Her skills and interests fit nicely with the firm’s caseload, but she hadn’t yet taken the bar exam. Tony had simply been blindsided when the woman claimed his heart.

"I’m a little confused," Pauline said. "I got them some of the crystal, but I don’t know what to do for the shower tonight. Were we supposed to get another gift?"

"Technically, yes," Lauren answered. "Everything around a wedding is designed as an opportunity to give a gift."

"That’s what I was afraid of. I’m going to have to rush out of here after work and pick up something else."

Lily knew the secretary lived on a budget, so she glanced at Lauren, who was already on the same wavelength. "We got a tablecloth and dinner napkins. Why don’t you just sign our card? It’ll be from the office."

"Aw, that would be great! Thanks."

"No problem," Lily said. "Say, Colleen’s sister lives pretty close to my neighborhood. Why don’t we meet at my house and go in one car?"

"Good idea! Is Anna going to come too?" Lauren really liked the car dealer. Anna had cut them a sweet deal on a 540i.

"No, she’s covered up with work right now. Her dad stepped down last week and she’s trying to get her new staff organized." Lily was glad for something to do tonight. The house had been pretty lonely these last few days. Except Sunday afternoon.

At six o’clock, the three women pulled up in front of Colleen’s sister’s home in Lauren’s BMW. "Are these people movie stars?" Pauline asked, awed at the Brentwood mansion.

"Not exactly. But I think Colleen’s brother-in-law is a big shot at one of the major recording companies." Lauren and Colleen had gotten to be pretty good friends, so she knew a little about the woman’s family.

The women were greeted by a uniformed servant, who showed them into a lively party, complete with piano music and an open bar. No fewer than a hundred women filled the room, the chatter spilling over onto the patio. Lily spotted Colleen and they weaved their way through the room to say hello.

Pauline was sent to the bar, but came back empty handed. "They have no merlot. The caterer forgot to stock it. What’s your second choice?"

"I don’t care," said Lauren. "But I don’t like sweet drinks."

Lily unconsciously made a face. "Me neither."

Pauline, the youngest of the three, spoke up. "I had a vodka martini once. It was pretty good, and it wasn’t sweet."

"I’ll try it," Lauren shrugged.

"Me too."

Five vodka martinis later, Lily was guided to the car and deposited in the front seat. "I like vodka," she slurred. "A lot."

"So we can tell." Lauren had watched her friend down three drinks hastily, and hurried to feed her the hors d’oeuvres. Two drinks later, she was smashed. "Your girlfriend’s going to kick my ass," she lamented.

"She won’t be home," Lily scowled. She was right. Lauren and Pauline helped their coworker to bed, and let themselves out.

Anna arrived shortly before midnight, dead on her feet. The little blonde was sound asleep, turned on her side away from her lover. Anna kissed her softly behind the ear, and drifted off immediately.

*  *  *

Anna was excited to finally have the evening away from her office. Things were going better, but she found that her strategy sessions with Hal were consuming the day, and all the paperwork was waiting for her when the doors closed and the sales staff went home. Holly was doing a great job managing the inventory and getting cars out the door, but Anna was growing more and more frustrated with the errors in her paperwork. She’d finally called her in on Thursday night to talk about it, and Holly told her of her problems with dyslexia. There were ways to get around it, she’d said, and if Anna would be patient, she would come up with a plan. In the meantime, someone would have to check all of her contracts.

"You’d better not be thinking about work, Amazon. You’re mine tonight." Lily smiled at her partner’s reflection in the long bathroom mirror as they readied for Tony’s big day.

"You got it, sweetheart." Lily was right. Anna felt bad enough about being at the office so much lately. She wasn’t going to make it worse by dwelling on work things when she wasn’t there.

"Zip me?" Lily offered her back.

Anna seized the moment to kiss the back of the woman’s exposed neck and shoulder. "This is my favorite dress," she murmured. "I remember the first time I saw this dress." It was the black one Lily had bought for her dinner with Anna at Empyre’s on the day her divorce became final.

"That was the first time I wore it. I bought it that afternoon so I’d have something to wear to a fancy restaurant. In fact, there was something scratching me in the rib all night, and when I got home, I found the tag still in it." She chuckled at the memory. "That was also the first night that I knew that I could fall in love with you."

Anna turned her lover in her arms and kissed her deeply. "Well, if I’m really, really honest with myself, I think I felt it that night too. You were so lovely, just like tonight. I’ve missed you."

Looking into the sapphire eyes, Lily thought fleetingly of shedding the dress and leading her lover back into their bedroom. They hadn’t made love in almost a week. "Let’s go get Tony married so we can come back here and get reacquainted."

It was a lovely wedding, and Tony had never looked more handsome. "I can’t believe you did it! Half of the women here are going into a convent tomorrow!" Lily hugged her boss excitedly then turned to Colleen. "It was a beautiful ceremony."

Lily could tell from Anna’s quiet tears that her lover had been moved by the couple’s romantic vows, but she had no idea that the dark-haired woman had begun scripting her own. I want to make those promises to you, Lily. Anna took Lily’s hand as the rings were exchanged. She hoped Lily would want to wear a ring, but that was all dependent on whether she accepted Anna’s promise.

The solemnity of the wedding was forgotten when the crowd entered the ballroom reception at the Burlington Hotel. Live bands on either side of the room took turns playing big band tunes and top 40.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" Anna asked.

Lily stopped to think a moment. That vodka martini had sure hit the spot the other night. But you did get shit-faced! "Sure, merlot if they have it." She went off in search of Sandy and Suzanne, who had joined the buffet line.

Lily polished off her wine before starting on her plate, washing down her meal with sparkling water. When they finished, she volunteered for the next bar run.

"Lily! How are you?"

"Andrew! Wow, don’t you clean up well!" Andrew Shively was a sergeant with the LAPD, and Tony’s racquetball partner. Lily knew him from Kidz Kamp, the volunteer group that regularly treated foster children to weekend outings in the great outdoors.

"You’re one to talk! You look great! What are you having?" He gestured toward the bartender.

"Oh, I need two glasses of merlot," she said to the tuxedoed woman. "On second thought, make that one merlot, and one vodka martini." It was, after all, a celebration.

"Would you like that with an olive or a lime?" the woman asked.

"Lime sounds good."

"You should try a kamikaze," Andrew suggested.

"What’s that?"

"It’s vodka, triple sec, and lime juice. You can get it on the rocks or as a shooter. Go ahead, try one. I’m buying."

"Okay, I’ll try a shooter."

"Make it two." The bartender expertly poured the two liquors and added a splash of lime juice. Lifting his shot glass, Andy offered a toast. "To Tony!"

"To Tony!" Lily agreed. She threw her head back and slammed the shooter, not prepared for the clenching sensation in her chest as the drink reached its mark. "Wow! That was good." Turning back to the bartender, she amended her order yet again. "Okay, make it one merlot, and one kamikaze on the rocks." As the policeman walked away, she ordered one more shooter for good measure. It was after all a celebration.

As the guests were finishing their dinner, Tony and Colleen took to the dance floor for the ceremonial first dance. Gradually, couples joined them on the floor, but the four friends were hesitant, not sure if everyone in Tony’s or Colleen’s family would be cool with the idea of women dancing together. They finally got their answer when the beaming couple visited their table and encouraged all of them to hit the dance floor.

Lily weaved her way back to her friends just as the newlyweds were leaving their table. She hugged the pair again and took a seat alongside her beautiful partner.

"What have you got?" Anna pointed to the highball.

"It’s called a kamikaze. Vodka, something and lime juice. Andrew Shively bought it for me. Want a taste?"

Anna shook her head. "No, I’ll stick with my wine, but I doubt I’ll drink all this. I hadn’t even finished my last one."

Suzanne leaned across the table to interrupt the lovers. "Lily, Tony said we should get up and dance. He thought everyone would be cool with it." She was egging Lily on because she knew Sandy wouldn’t do it unless the other couple did.

"I’d like that, baby. What do you say?" Lily wanted this sexy woman in her arms–now!

"I’m yours tonight, sweetheart. You want to dance, we dance." Anna was sure she was here with the most beautiful woman in the room. That skimpy black dress just pushed buttons all over her!

Lily stood up and drained her drink, then led her partner to the dance floor. The first song was fast, but in the spirit of the event, the next two were slow romantic ballads. Her hand pressed firmly into the small of her lover’s back, the blonde woman pulled her partner close and whispered up into her ear. "I want to take you home and make love to you all night long. I want to feel your breasts in my face and this silky hair on my thighs." She ran her fingers sensuously through the long black tresses.

Anna loved the sensation of her lover’s hands in her hair, but she couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy about the reactions of all the people around them. "I’m going to hold you to that, lover girl. But you might want to wait until we actually get home. We wouldn’t want to scandalize Tony’s wedding," she joked.

The music stopped, and they reluctantly parted, but not before sharing a long look of heated desire. Both women shook it off and headed back to their table. Agreeing to stay for a respectable amount of time–perhaps a half hour more–Lily returned to the bar for one more drink. Of course, there was no reason not to have a shooter while she waited. What on earth took me so long to discover kamikazes?

She returned to find Anna and their friends extolling the virtues of big band music. Ignoring their discussion, the blonde leaned into her lover once again and whispered, "I want my tongue inside you when you come." She followed that with a wet flick to the ear.

Whoa! Anna thought she’d explode, right here in front of all these nice people. Of the two of them, she was the talker, though she rarely said anything as… naughty as the words her partner had just whispered into her ear. Taking in her lover’s lustful gaze, the tall woman suddenly stood. "I think Lily and I need to be going. We’ve both got a lot to do tomorrow to get ready for the week." Even Anna realized how lame she sounded. Still, she wasn’t going to let something like manners get in the way of what her lover had in mind.

Lily was surprisingly quiet on the way home, positioning herself in the front seat of the sports car to allow her lover’s hand to creep underneath her dress and stroke the dampened thong. When they entered through the family room, she went immediately upstairs to get ready for bed. Anna turned out the lights and locked up, then followed quickly, anticipating a long night of decadent lust. Reaching the top of the stairs, she followed the trail of discarded clothing all the way to the king-sized bed. There she found her naked lover… sound asleep.

CHAPTER 4

"U GH!" LILY RAISED both hands to her head as she sat up. Immediately sorry at the amount of fun she had obviously had at Tony’s wedding, the disheveled blonde staggered into the bathroom. Yep, there was that telltale "green" countenance that usually accompanied a hangover, the drooping eyes sporting a smeared ring of mascara. And who were those people walking around in her mouth! Through the bathroom window, Lily spotted her lover at the umbrella table by the pool, her favorite place to read the Sunday paper.

"Shower first, then coffee, then girlfriend," she mumbled aloud. Something was nagging her about last night. She felt guilty, but she wasn’t sure why. The wedding, the dancing… she vaguely remembered leaving, but nothing after that.

Anna looked up when she heard her lover in the kitchen. Lily was barefooted, dressed in one of the tall woman’s button down shirts, the long tail hanging to the top of her brown thighs. The wet hair was slicked straight back, evidence that she had washed away the remnants of last night’s celebration. Anna loved this casual look, but she was put out with the blonde this morning.

"Hi," Lily said as she kissed the woman on the top of her head.

"Good morning," Anna responded coolly. "Sleep well?"

Hmm, were we expecting a cold front? "Yeah, how about you?"

"Alright, I suppose."

"Are you ready for a refill?" Lily gestured at Anna’s empty mug.

"No, thank you," came the formal reply.

Definitely a little frosty. Lily absently rummaged through the paper, trying hard to remember what she might have said or done last night to warrant this chill. "Listen to this: ‘In a 16-hour procedure, a team of surgeons in Johannesburg successfully separated 8-week-old Sudanese twins joined at the hip and thigh. The infants, in critical but stable condition, were rejoined with their parents in the Sudan.’" She waited for a reaction. "Get it? Siamese twins rejoined with their parents?" Still no response. "Like, what’s the point of separating them from each other if you’re just going to rejoin them to someone else?"

"I get it," Anna groaned. "I guess I don’t find it funny."

Lily laid the paper down and looked nervously at her partner. "Okay, what’s wrong?" She found herself apprehensive about how the blanks from last night would be filled in.

From behind the sports page, Anna answered matter-of-factly, "You fell asleep on me last night."

Is that all? "And I’m getting the cold shoulder for that?"

Anna sighed. "It hurt my feelings. I finally got some time off and we wasted it."

"Anna, your work schedule isn’t my fault. I’m sorry I fell asleep. I guess I partied too much. But if you want more of me, you could always spend more time at home." That needed to be said.

"You know how busy things are at work right now. I don’t want to be gone so much, but I have to be, at least until things are running smoothly." There was another issue that was more important, though Anna was hesitant to broach it. "Lily, you’ve been ‘partying’ a lot lately. You got tipsy at Empyre’s, then last weekend you couldn’t drive home from Sandy and Suzanne’s, and now there’s last night." She carefully avoided using the word ‘drunk.’

That wasn’t all actually, but Lily was pretty sure her partner didn’t know about the bridal shower. She certainly wasn’t going to correct her. "Are you suggesting that I might have a drinking problem?" Her defensive tone was unmistakable.

"No, but it isn’t like you to drink as much as you have lately. I guess I don’t want it to turn into a problem."

"It won’t, Anna." Please let this discussion be over. It was, thanks to the double ring of the kitchen phone. Without a word, Lily walked back into the house.

Anna felt awful. She’d practically accused her partner of being an alcoholic, and she’d gotten a loud and clear message that her work load was the reason they hadn’t been connecting recently. When she heard Lily hang up the phone, she followed her into the kitchen. "Who was that?" She tried to sound more cheerful.

"That was Mom. She wanted to remind us that she and Bill are coming next weekend. He’s got that oncology conference in Long Beach."

"It’ll be great to see her again. So what’s the story with Bill?"

"I get the feeling that fizzled. She doesn’t talk about it anymore. They’re obviously still friends, but he’s going to stay at the conference hotel, and she’s going to stay here."

Anna stepped behind the sexy blonde, slipping her hand under the shirttail to stroke the flat stomach. "So how would I go about getting on your dance card today?"

*  *  *

George Kaklis returned to the dealership on Monday morning, boasting brand new business cards that touted him as a Customer Relations Executive. He was now the official "glad-hander," the one who attended community and business functions on the dealership’s behalf, and who handled the "meet and greet" when longtime customers arrived on the lot. He was a little disappointed when he realized that he would no longer have a plush office on the second floor. Anna already had carpenters in carving up her new digs and part of her old office to accommodate both Hal and Brad, moving her father downstairs to a sales office. At least his had a door.

He was more disturbed by the fact that his daughter and son-in-law were meeting for long hours in private. Surely, she would want his advice on the direction for the company. Wednesday morning, Anna finally invited him up to go over their plans.

"We’re going to move to acquire two, maybe even three new dealerships," she explained. "We need a line that appeals to the budget conscious, as well as to those who are looking for more fuel efficiency. That’s a pretty big pie, and we’re positioned well to deliver it at a profit."

George couldn’t believe his daughter would do this. He had always been adamantly opposed to diluting their brand, and he didn’t see how she could effectively manage dealerships in different locations. They had had this discussion at least once a year for the last five years, each time with Anna arguing that their own resources and expertise were underutilized. Now she was making this her first move as president. "You already know what I think of this, Anna," he said sternly.

"Yes, Dad, I know you’re reluctant to do this, but Hal and I think it’s a good move for us. I had Walter draft an offer for Sweeney Volkswagen, and we submitted it this morning." She knew this was tough on George, so she sweetened the pot. "I think the Volkswagen line offers a great opportunity for David. If he’s interested, that is." She knew he would be. Her younger brother had broken ranks at sixteen when he insisted on getting a Beetle rather than BMW’s sporty entry model, the M3.

He considered the possibilities. He liked the idea of his whole family following in his footsteps in the car business, and David had never gotten excited about the luxury cars. "So you said two or three dealerships."

"We’re also going over the books for the BMW and Volkswagen dealerships in Palm Springs. Both owners are looking to get out of the business. It’s a golden opportunity."

George conceded that his daughter was right. The dealership’s finances were strong enough to leverage all three of these acquisitions. Premier Motors was on its way to becoming an auto empire. Son of a gun.

*  *  *

"Lilian Stuart." The attorney always sounded so serious when she answered her office phone.

"Raw fish?" was all her lover said.

"I’m fine, sweetheart. Thanks for asking." The disjointed greetings were their hallmark. "Are you inviting me for sushi, or was that a reference to something else?" Things were smooth again between them. Anna had gotten home by eight every night this week, and Lily had refrained from drinking anything at all, even skipping her usual glass of wine with dinner. Not that she was conceding that she had a problem. She just wanted to prove to Anna that she did not.

"The former, actually. I made the big move this morning. We’ll probably hear something from Sweeney in a couple of weeks."

"So is George’s nose out of joint?"

"Big time."

"Well, that’s worth celebrating," she said mischievously. "What time will you be home?"

"How about seven?"

"I’ll be ready."

"Oh, and I have a surprise for you."

Anna honked the horn as she pulled into the drive at 6:50. Lily had changed into a black miniskirt and red top, one of her lover’s favorite outfits. The short drive to the restaurant was filled with a detailed description of George’s dubious reaction to the offer for Sweeney Volkswagen. Lily delighted in his comeuppance, but not in a malicious way. She knew he deserved a lot of credit for Anna’s success, thanks to the values and drive he had instilled in her from her youth.

"Let’s see. How about a dragon roll, a spicy tuna roll, a spider roll, four pieces of unagi, two salads with ginger dressing, two hot teas and edamame." Lily looked over the menu at her lover. "You want anything?"

Anna burst out laughing at her partner’s playfulness. "No, I’m sure I’ll get full just watching you eat all of that."

The attorney chatted about her day as they waited for their order. Finally, she could stand it no longer. "So what’s my surprise?"

Anna looked at her and smiled. "Oh yeah. I promised you a surprise, didn’t I?" Reaching into her purse, she extracted a folder of travel documents and passed it across the table.

"Maui! We’re going to Maui!" Her excited shouts turned the heads of several adjacent tables. The other diners smiled at her delight. "When?"

"Next weekend. We leave Friday night at 7:15 and come back on the redeye in time for work on Tuesday morning. I wanted it to be longer, but I know it’s hard for you to get away on short notice. Since it’s the holiday weekend, this worked out." Softly, she added, "I thought we could use some time away together."

Lily couldn’t contain her glee. Anna Kaklis, the soft sand, the sun, Anna Kaklis, the blue water, the swaying palms, Anna Kaklis. "You’re the best, you know."

"Yes, I know." She winked, feeling pretty proud of herself.

*  *  *

It was after 11 on Friday night when Bill dropped Eleanor and Chester at the Brentwood home. "Have fun at your conference," Lily yelled from the walkway, as he slid back into his Mercedes sedan.

"Some conference," Eleanor joked. "They have a two-hour meeting in the morning, then 18 holes of golf tomorrow afternoon."

"Well, it’s good work if you can get it." Lily squatted to pet the vivacious basset hound. "How’s my boy?" Chester smiled–Wasn’t that a smile?–and wagged his tail happily. He loved everybody, but especially this familiar blonde woman. At least until Anna appeared in the doorway. Then she became his best friend.

"Chester!" Toenails clacked furiously on the sidewalk as he bounded to the new person. Anna scratched the happy dog on his upturned belly, then stood to greet Eleanor. "You want your belly rubbed too, or will a hug do?"

"Hmmm. A hug I think." Anna complied then grabbed the woman’s suitcase.

"Did you bring your hiking boots, Mom?"

"Of course. Are we going out tomorrow?"

"You bet!" Lily got her love of hiking from her mother. While she was growing up in San Jose, the two of them would spend most Saturdays blazing trails in the Santa Cruz mountains. Eleanor loved sampling the new trails in southern California with her daughter.

By 7:30 in the morning, Anna was heading out the door to the dealership. They were swamped on Saturdays and she was giving Brad the day off, since he’d have to cover for her next weekend while she was in Hawaii.

"Don’t forget, Amazon. We’re going to your mom and dad’s for dinner at six, so I expect to see your smiling face by 5:30." Both of them seemed able to work within given parameters, so long as the expectations were clear.

"I’ll be here." Their plans made, the car dealer stole a kiss and disappeared out the door.

Lily finished making turkey sandwiches, and filled sealable plastic bags with carrots, trail mix, and orange sections. She filled her two-liter Camelback water bladder, adding three one-liter bottles of water and lifted the pack. A little heavier than usual, but not too bad. The weather was perfect, so they wouldn’t need any rain gear or extra sweaters. "Mom, are you ready?"

"I am now. Do you have room for my camera in your daypack?"

"Sure."

"I’ll take my turn carrying that thing, you know. Tell you what, you carry it until lunch then I’ll carry it the rest of the day."

Lily frowned. "But after lunch, it will be practically empty."

"Yes, I know," she deadpanned.

Lily had picked a moderately challenging 10-mile hike for their outing. That would get them home by three, in plenty of time to rest a bit and get ready for dinner at the Kaklis home. Eleanor had met Kim and Hal, but had missed the pleasure of George, Martine and David. Well, Martine and David anyway, if you’re talking pleasure. She was somehow certain her mother would handle the Kaklis patriarch perfectly.

They parked the SUV at the trailhead and gathered their things. As they started out, Eleanor stopped to adjust her boots, something she did every single time they went hiking. Lily had gotten so used to it over the years that she built it into her gait. The hike did not officially start until Eleanor’s boots were right.

"So what happened to you and Bill?" Lily didn’t mean to get into her mother’s business, but she wanted to know if something had gone awry.

"Oh, we just figured out that we liked being friends. Getting closer kind of complicated that, for both of us, I think."

"Is it working out? I mean being friends. I was just worried about you."

"We’re fine. I think he still misses Liz, more than he’s willing to admit." Bill’s wife of 21 years died of cancer almost four years ago.

"Are you okay?" Now that Lily had found Anna to love, she hated to think of her mother being lonely.

"Of course I am. I mean, it was nice while it lasted, but it wasn’t an overwhelming need I had. Our friendship is… fulfilling."

Lily could hear the melancholy in her mother’s voice, but knew that Eleanor had said all she wanted to say about it. She hooked the woman’s arm in hers as they trudged up the wide shaded path.

Two and a half hours later, the women were standing at the pinnacle of Strawberry Peak. From this vantage point, they could see the Pacific Ocean to the west, Mount Baldy to the east, and the entire LA basin. Or at least, they could have seen it, had it not been blanketed in smog. Still, it was beautiful and sunny where they stood, and lunch was divine.

The peak was a stopping point for dozens of hikers and bikers, and Lily couldn’t resist asking another hiker to snap a picture of her with her mother, here in one of her favorite places. "I don’t think we’ve had a picture made together since I graduated from law school."

"Then we should get copies made, so we can both have one."

Walking downhill was hard on Eleanor’s knees, so Lily chose a longer, more meandering path that wasn’t as steep for their descent. "I’ve had a great day, Mom. I think that hiking with you on the weekends is the thing I miss most about leaving home. You’ve got to get down here more often."

"And you could come home more often too, you know."

"Yeah, maybe I will. Anna’s been really busy with work. Maybe I’ll come up in a couple of weeks and we’ll do the Priest Rock Trail. Did I tell you that we’re going to Maui next week?"

On the way home, Lily told her mother all about their plans for the holiday weekend. Well, not exactly all of their plans.

At six o’clock, Anna, Lily, Eleanor and Bill were piling into the SUV for the short ride over to the Kaklis home. At the last moment, Anna suggested taking Chester too, so the happy fellow proudly positioned himself in her lap in the front seat. They were the last to arrive, finding everyone in their usual spot by the pool. Hal and David had baby Jonah in the pool, squealing with delight.

"Mom, Dad? I’d like you to meet Lily’s mom, Eleanor Stuart." Turning back to Eleanor, she went on. "And this is my father, George, and my mother, Martine. That black-haired tree in the pool is my brother David."

Martine addressed the older woman. "We’re very pleased to meet you, and so glad you could come. We think the world of your daughter." Martine could have been… southern.

"Indeed we do, but please don’t tell her. It keeps her on her toes to wonder." George always had to qualify his affection for the little blonde who owned his daughter’s heart, but he couldn’t effectively hide it anymore.

"And this is her friend, Bill Mueller. He drives a Mercedes," she hissed the word.

"We can fix that. Have David and Hal hold his head under water."

Bill laughed amiably. "Actually, my lease is up this month and I thought I’d like to drive something different. The 745i is one of the three cars that I’ve been studying."

"What are the other two?" Anna and George asked their question in perfect synchrony.

"Well, I was looking at the Jaguar."

"They’re alien droppings," George spat in disgust.

"What he means," Anna interjected diplomatically, "is that you don’t see very many older Jaguars out there. They don’t exactly have a reputation for being well-built. What’s the other one?" It was the good guy-bad guy routine, but Bill didn’t recognize it.

"The other is the Lexus."

"Ah, the Lexus," George remarked. "Well, there’s one good thing about driving a Lexus."

"What’s that?" Bill was so gullible.

"Tell him, Anna."

"If you’re driving it, you can’t see how ugly it is."

Bill surrendered, laughing. "So I guess it’s the BMW?"

"Look, if you really want one, I’ll set you up tomorrow morning," Anna offered. "Just tell me what color you want and I’ll have it ready to go by early afternoon. I won’t pressure you, but I’ll give you the family discount–what I’d pay if I were buying it. That’s the best deal you’ll get anywhere."

"White."

"Purchase or lease?"

"Lease."

"Three years or five years?"

"You pick."

"Three. That way, I get it back sooner to sell again."

"Then I’ll have to turn in the Mercedes at the local dealer first thing tomorrow."

"No, we’ll deliver it for you." Anna beamed. "We really like that part."

Eleanor and Martine were fast friends, quickly discovering a shared interest in gardening. They went on and on about their families as they wandered from one flower bed to another. "Jonah’s adorable. I bet you’re thrilled to have a little one."

"Are you kidding? I can’t get enough of him, but I have to loosen my grip when Anna’s around."

As if on cue, the little guy squawked his displeasure at being passed from the pool into a towel, despite the loving arms of his aunt. But in mere moments of bouncing and cooing, he had stilled, enraptured by the smiling blue eyes and long dark hair. Did someone say long dark hair?

"Ouch! Somebody help!" Kim pried her son’s fingers from his prize, though he kept a sizable souvenir.

George and Lily were having another of their deep conversations. "What part of ‘I’m not going anywhere’ don’t you understand, George? When your daughter puts you in an old folk’s home, I’m going to be right there to wipe the drool off your chin." She watched as a small smile played on the man’s face. "Don’t worry, you’ll warm up to me eventually."

"Perhaps if we’re cremated together…"

The evening was wonderful, especially for Anna and Lily, who got the chance to watch their families getting acquainted. Anna was filled with admiration for Eleanor. The woman emanated grace and charm, clearly winning over George and Martine.

Lily had expected Martine and her mom to hit it off, and was not disappointed. But the special attention shown to her mother by George touched Lily’s heart. She was sure that she had overheard the man say something like "We like her a lot," but knowing the elder Kaklis, he was probably talking about the neighbor’s cat, who had wandered into the yard to entertain Chester.

CHAPTER 5

"D RIVE CAREFULLY, BILL. When Lily got her X-5, I couldn’t keep her under 80. And then there was that time…"

"That’s enough, Amazon! Are you trying to give my mother a heart attack?" Shaking her head, Lily turned to reassure her mother. "I’m a very careful driver, Mom."

"I know you are. So are you coming up in a couple of weeks, like we talked about?" she asked hopefully.

Lily looked back at her partner to indicate that they would talk about her plans later. "Yeah, I’m going to try to get up soon. I really enjoyed our hike yesterday."

"Me too, sweetie." Eleanor wrapped her daughter in a mighty hug. Next, she broke up the lovefest on the front lawn between Anna and Chester in order to extricate her hound.

"You sure you don’t want to leave Chester here at our house? We’ll bring him back eventually. Or not," she joked.

"Not a chance! Bill, get my dog from that woman!" Bill guided Chester into his crate, which was strapped to the back seat. Immediately content, the dog settled down with his rawhide chew.

After one last hug for Anna and Lily, Eleanor got in and rolled down the window. "Love you both."

"Love you too," the women shouted as they watched the sparkling BMW pull out.

"You and your mom really had a good visit, didn’t you?"

"Yeah, it was too short though. But our hike yesterday was really special. We talked a lot. It was like the old days."

Anna put her arm around Lily’s shoulder as they walked into the house. Lily reciprocated with an arm around her lover’s waist. "What did you talk about?"

"We talked a lot about Bill. I was kind of worried about her, you know, that she was feeling lonely because things didn’t work out."

"Is she?"

"She says no, but I still worry. I wish she could find somebody special." Lily’s voice was sad. "I never used to think about that until I found you. Now I want everybody I love to be as happy as I am."

"Are you happy with me, Lily?" Anna thought she knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it.

"I’m so very happy with you." That settled, it was time for a long, loving Sunday afternoon reaffirmation.

*  *  *

Things had calmed down at Premier Motors as they waited to hear back from Sweeney Volkswagen. Anna and Hal agreed that they should hold off on their offer for the dealerships in Palm Springs until they completed negotiations with Sweeney. With that out of the way–at least temporarily–Anna had more time for the day to day tasks of running the dealership. To further reduce her work load, she and Holly had worked with a business forms company to draft a new computerized version of the seller’s contract that minimized the possibility of error. Things were looking up.

Lily was thrilled with getting her lover back. Anna was sleeping in until 6:30, and getting home from work before seven. They had a life again!

"Oh, I almost forgot! Kim called me yesterday at the dealership and invited us for dinner tonight. I told them yes, but that I needed to check with you." Anna and Lily were going through their morning routines side by side in the long master bath.

"Sounds good to me," the blonde answered. "Or we could send them out together and stay home with Jonah!"

"I thought of that already. Kim laughed and said nobody pays any attention to her or Hal anymore. You know, she said it like she was kidding, but I think she really might be feeling a little neglected."

"Well, we don’t want that. Of course we’ll go."

At seven sharp, Anna and Lily rang the bell at Kim and Hal’s Encino home. For the first time since Jonah was born, Anna did not bolt through the house in search of the infant. "Hiya, sister!"

"Hi yourself! It’s good to see you guys again. We didn’t get much of a chance to talk on Saturday." Kim greeted her sister and Lily warmly, and they followed her to the family room. "Hal’s got Jonah upstairs if you want to see him."

"We’ll see him later. Something smells great!" Anna’s fight with her inner self not to dash off upstairs was a stark indicator of how badly she’d been treating the sister she loved so dearly.

"It’s Cornish hen. I got the recipe from one of the women I walk with." Kim was the epitome of suburban motherhood, strapping little Jonah into his three-wheeled stroller for a power walk with two other mothers on the wider trails at Topanga State Park.

"Cornish hen’s one of your favorites, isn’t it honey?" Anna asked her lover.

Lily loved it when Anna called her honey! "Oh yeah! Mom used to make it on Sundays. I always called them ‘little chickens.’"

Just then Hal walked in with Jonah in his arms, fully expecting to give the little guy up to his aunt. Anna stood her ground, though, resisting the temptation to reach out for him. Lily saw a rare opening for herself and took the baby from his dad, retreating out to the deck with Hal to give Anna time with her sister.

"Mom called and said they really enjoyed meeting Eleanor. She said Dad just went on and on about her."

"Isn’t she wonderful!" Anna had come to love Lily’s mom. "It scares me to think that she and Lily might never have met. They’re just so perfect together."

"It was meant to be, then." Kim grew quiet for a moment. Anna knew her sister well enough to know that she was struggling with whether or not to say what was on her mind.

"What is it, Kimmie?" That pet name was one Anna reserved for the times she felt like the big sister.

"I’ll tell you, but I don’t want you to go off on me, okay?"

Anna could see that something was really bothering her sister, but she couldn’t imagine why she would go off about it. "Okay, tell me."

With great trepidation, Kim started. "I know you guys are really busy at work. I know there’s a lot to do, and that it’s all temporary." She waved her hands in acquiescence to make the point that she understood. "And Hal loves it. I’m really glad, because I knew he would. It’s just that…"

"Just what?" Anna had no idea where this conversation was going.

"He’s been gone so much, going in early and working so late. For the first time in 13 years, we have something to fight about. And I hate it!"

Anna felt like she’d been kicked in the stomach. She knew that Lily had been struggling with her time at the dealership, and that it had caused its share of problems for them. Now to find out that it had also caused problems for Kim and Hal–who never had problems–made her feel awful. "Kim, I don’t know what to say. I’m really sorry this has been so hard on you guys. Hal’s been great at work. There’s no way I could have done any of this without him, but I promise I won’t keep him so late from now on." Whatever it took, Anna would work it out.

"No, I’m not complaining to you because I want you to do that! You have to make the decisions that are best for the company. I understand that, and Hal needs to make his own decisions too." She finished the final preparations for dinner, and she and Anna began taking things into the dining room. "I know it’s not going to last forever. I was just wondering how you and Lily work it out."

Well, let’s see. I make her feel like it’s all her fault. Anna suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of guilt about how she’d treated her lover last weekend. Lily had been a real trooper, her support unwavering, and Anna had behaved selfishly. "We just do the best we can," she said solemnly. "Hey, did I tell you that we’re going to Maui next weekend?" she added excitedly.

"You’re kidding! You better not make my husband work overtime while you’re gone." Her tone was obviously a mock threat, but Anna got her message nonetheless.

"No, I think we’re in a calm right now waiting for Sweeney. But what if when we got back, Lily and I kept Jonah for a few days while you two got away." That would make everyone happy!

Kim chuckled. "Right. And which one of you is going to breastfeed? So what are you doing in Maui?" They were ready to call Hal and Lily to the table.

"I’m…” Anna hadn’t told a soul about her decision to make things with Lily permanent. She wanted Lily to be the first to know. "I’m going to show my woman how much I appreciate her for being there for me."

"Well, that’s pretty sweet, especially for a lug like you," Kim teased. With a wink at her sister, she walked out on the deck and announced that the little chickens were ready.

Hal had opened a chardonnay for dinner and was pouring for the table.

"None for me," Lily spoke up. "I’ll just have the Perrier."

Anna was once again abruptly reminded of how she’d selfishly turned the tables on her partner last weekend, all because she hadn’t realized the impact of her absence at home. "Sweetheart, you should try this. It’s good." She was letting Lily know that it was okay without revealing their private conversation.

Lily was definitely confused. She had understood that Anna didn’t want her to drink; now Anna was recommending the wine. Or maybe this was a test. "No thanks. The water’s fine."

Please don’t be stubborn. I’m sorry! "Are you sure? This will be great with the little chickens," Anna encouraged.

Yes, it would. "Okay, you talked me into it." She was relieved to see her lover smiling, obviously glad she’d changed her mind. What Lily didn’t understand was why. Oh well, you know that old saying about the gift horse…

The wine was delicious, and midway through the Cornish hen, Lily realized that her glass was nearly empty. Glancing around the table, she noted that the others had not kept pace, so she switched to the Perrier. She was determined not to get a refill, at least not until someone else did. Though the conversation was lively, Lily found herself distracted by watching the others drink. Would anyone ask for more?

"Does anyone want me to open another bottle?" Hal offered.

Neither Anna nor Kim replied, so Lily bit her tongue. She drained her glass after the last bite of hen, and proclaimed the dinner the best she’d had in ages.

When they reached their home, Lily offered to close up downstairs and set up the automatic coffeemaker while Anna went on to get ready for bed. Kim had sent them home with dessert, since everyone was too full after dinner to enjoy the poached pears. As she placed the bowl in the refrigerator, Lily noticed the corked bottle of chardonnay, opened for dinner at home almost two weeks ago. I wonder if that’s as good as the stuff Hal had, she mused, knowing full well that she was rationalizing her desire for another glass of wine.

"Honey, it’s only 9:45," Anna called from the top of the stairs.

That was unmistakably an invitation. Lily closed the refrigerator and turned out the light.

Desperate to connect, Anna poured her whole heart into their lovemaking that night. To Lily’s delight, her lover’s climax was loud and long, and she immediately rolled the blonde onto her back and filled her. In no time at all, Lily reached her release.

"I love being inside you when you come," the tall beauty whispered, drawing the small woman underneath her even closer. Lily reached between her own legs and pushed Anna’s long fingers deep inside her as she rode out the last waves of her powerful orgasm. All of Anna’s senses were heightened with the pulsing clutches, and she was once again overwhelmed by their deep connection. "I love you so much."

Lily was amazed at how close she felt to her lover at that moment, physically and emotionally. Anna needed to talk when they made love, and when she caressed Lily with her loving and intimate words, it seemed to pull them together. "I love you too."

*  *  *

Anna sat in the conference room at Premier Motors, drumming her fingers as she waited for her senior staff to arrive. Her mind had drifted back to her lovemaking with Lily the night before. More than ever, she was convinced of her resolve to making a lifetime commitment to this very special woman. Should I offer to get her a ring? Anna knew that many of their lesbian friends had traded rings as a symbol of their love, but Lily had never mentioned anything about that. Of course, that would require both of us being at the same place in our relationship, now wouldn’t it? Though fairly certain that Lily felt the same way, Anna believed that they both needed to say the words.

"I called the wholesaler this morning to come by for the two Hondas," Brad startled her as he took a seat across from Anna at the conference table. One of the first changes the new president had implemented was to move the weekly senior staff meeting from Monday at 8:30 to Thursday at 10:30. By meeting later in the week, they could better plan for the weekend rush, she reasoned. The change to 10:30 was to allow Holly to come in later, since she stayed until after closing on Thursday nights.

Hal walked in and took the chair next to his boss. Holly sat directly across from him. The seat at the head of the table had remained empty ever since George left. Anna felt funny about moving to that chair after all these years. Besides, her father had an open invitation to attend the senior staff meetings, but as yet had declined. If he did drop by, that was still his chair.

"Okay, we’re all here. The first bit of news I have for all of you is that I got a call from Walter this morning." Walter was the attorney who was handling their offer for Sweeney. "He said that Sweeney’s lawyer had called and wanted to have a look at our financial report. Walter thinks they just want to be sure that we’ll make good on our offer. That’s your department, Hal, so why don’t you give him a call later and…"

"Anna, Bill Mueller’s on line one," Carmen’s voice followed the beep that activated the room’s intercom. The receptionist didn’t usually interrupt these meetings, but everyone had heard about Anna and George ganging up on the poor man over the weekend.

"Oh no! I hope his car’s okay, or I’ll never hear the end of it," she joked.

"Hi Bill, what can I do for you?" she asked warmly.

Hal watched as a serious look came over his sister-in-law’s face.

"Oh, no!" Tears rushed to the blue eyes as Anna stood.

Frantically, she groped for a pen. Hal pushed his tablet toward her and placed his hand on her arm. Brad and Holly watched the transformation with dread. Something horrible had happened.

"I’ll go get her, Bill. We’ll be there. How can I reach you?" Her hands shaking violently, she scratched out the number. "I’ll call you when we get there. Thank you for calling me, Bill. You did exactly the right thing."

Anna hung up the phone and rushed from the room without a word. Only Hal had the nerve to follow. "Anna?"

Tears were streaming down Anna’s cheeks, her lips and nose already starting to redden. She rushed into her brother-in-law’s arms. Through muffled sobs, she finally spoke. "Eleanor’s dead."

*  *  *

"Your honor, the defense would like to thank and excuse juror number 23, Mrs. Pedroso." Tony used his fourth peremptory strike on a juror Lily thought had a little too much in common with the landlady at the center of the civil case. Tony handled lots of evictions, and was suing on behalf of an Asian man whose family was evicted to make room for a Hispanic tenant.

People had been coming and going in the courtroom all day as jury selection continued, but something made Lily turn to see the latest arrival. She was startled to find Anna and Hal taking seats near the door. Meeting her lover’s eyes, a panic gripped the attorney deep inside. Anna had never come to the courthouse before. "Tony, I need a recess."

Something about her desperate tone caused the man to act without hesitation. "Your honor, the plaintiff requests a short recess."

"Would counsel approach the bench?" Notorious for his no-nonsense demeanor, Judge Anston wasn’t about to let an unrelated matter derail this proceeding. "What’s going on, counsel?"

"Something important has come up for my co-counsel, your honor, and we’d like a few minutes to see what it’s about." Tony gestured at Lily, who remained quiet, glancing back over her shoulder at the ominous pair.

Looking directly at Lily, the judge sternly advised, "Counselor, I’m not going to march the jury out of here so that you can attend to personal matters."

"If it would please the court, then I’d like to be excused from the courtroom until after the next recess. I’m sorry, Judge Anston. Something very important has come up. Mr. LeFevre can direct our case." Lily knew she was speaking the truth.

"Very well, but I have to tell you, Ms. Stuart, I don’t appreciate these disruptions."

"I understand, your honor. I won’t make a habit of it. And thank you."

Lily walked through the gate and met her lover at the door. Together, they stepped into the hallway. "What’s going on, Anna? Why are you here?" She looked back and forth between Anna and Hal for a clue.

Her lover stepped forward and took her hands. The tears were back in the blue eyes. "Something awful has happened, sweetheart. It’s your mother."

"Mom?" Lily’s knees went weak and she squeezed the long hands tightly for support. "Then we need to go. I have to be with her." She knew from her lover’s eyes that her pleas were futile.

Anna shook her head sadly as her floodgates opened again. "No, baby… she’s gone."

Inside the courtroom, Judge Anston, Tony LeFevre, the principals in the case, and the 46 remaining members of the jury pool heard the awful wail from beyond the door. "The court will take a short recess," the judge declared abruptly.

CHAPTER 6

A NNA GRIPPED HER lover’s hand tightly as they boarded the plane to San Jose. Lily was clearly in shock, almost overwhelmed by the crowd and the minutiae that was part of flying these days. Now settled into their seats in first class, Anna retrieved a pillow and blanket for the grieving woman, but Lily was oblivious to her gesture. There was simply no way to render comfort.

Anna realized as they packed that she would have to pull herself together in order to take care of her lover over the next few days. She had dutifully relayed the information she had gotten from Bill. When Eleanor failed to arrive at school this morning, the school secretary called her home. Getting no answer, she called Bill, knowing that the two were close. Bill agreed to stop by Eleanor’s house after his hospital rounds. He and Eleanor had exchanged keys for emergencies, so he let himself in after knocking for several minutes. He found her on the floor in the hallway upstairs. From his physician training, he surmised that she had died late last night of something catastrophic, such as a stroke or an aneurysm. Since she died alone, a coroner would conduct an autopsy, the results of which would be known sometime on Friday.

Landing in San Jose one hour later, Anna pulled their rollerboards from the overhead bin and guided her lover through the narrow concourse to the baggage claim area. Bill had arranged for one of Eleanor’s neighbors to pick the women up.

"Lily!" A gray-haired woman of about 65 called out. The blonde stiffly acknowledged her as she and Anna made their way through the crowd of people fighting for their bags.

"Mrs. Beck, hi. Thank you for coming. This is Anna Kaklis." Lily was remarkably composed.

"Hi Anna. I’m Charlotte Beck. I live next door to Eleanor." She shook Anna’s hand then turned to hug the grieving blonde. "She was my friend, Lily. I’m so sorry." The woman’s eyes were sad and kind.

"I know, Charlotte. And you were her friend." To Anna’s unending amazement, Lily had magically morphed into the comforter.

Mrs. Beck led them quickly to the parking garage where they piled into a small station wagon for the ride to Eleanor’s house. "Just to let you know, Ernie and I have Chester for the time being. We’ll keep him as long as you want."

Lily nodded absently then turned toward her lover in the back seat. "I’m going to need my car, Anna," she said with urgency. "I have to pack up Mom’s things and bring Chester home." That thought caused the dam to break again, and the tall woman leaned forward and stroked the blonde head.

"I’ll take care of it, sweetheart."

When they reached the small Victorian home, Lily thanked Mrs. Beck while Anna extricated their bags. Filled with dread for the sensory assault that awaited their entry, they tentatively climbed the stairs and opened the front door. Anna stood silently in the foyer as her lover slowly ascended the stairs. After a few moments, she followed, knowing that the sight would break her heart. She found her sobbing lover crumpled in the hallway, running her hands along the hardwood floor as though feeling for her mother’s touch.

*  *  *

Anna had secured rooms for her family and their friends at the Fairmont Hotel in downtown San Jose, only a few blocks from Eleanor’s Naglee Park home. Sandy and Suzanne were the first to arrive, getting in early Friday evening.

"Thanks for coming. I’m sure it will mean a lot to Lily to have you guys here." Anna led their friends into the small sitting room.

"How’s she holding up?" Sandy asked.

"It’s hard for her, Sandy. We got the results from the coroner this afternoon. It was an aortic aneurysm. He said it happened very quickly, and that was some comfort, I think."

"Has she worked out the funeral arrangements?" Suzanne worked at a hospital and had witnessed that kind of chaos countless times.

"We’re meeting tomorrow with the funeral director. Eleanor had already made her arrangements, so it’s just to finish the details. I think we’re going to try to have the service on Sunday afternoon."

"Eleanor really did everyone a big favor by taking care of all that herself," Suzanne offered.

"She was that kind of person," Anna answered solemnly. "Lily’s upstairs. She was sleeping earlier, I think. I hope. But I heard her moving around in the bathroom just a few minutes before you got here."

"I don’t want to get in her space, Anna." Sandy had known Lily long enough to know that she usually dealt with difficult things alone. "Listen, why don’t Suzanne and I go pick up something for dinner and bring it back."

"That would be great. She needs to eat something. There’s a Chinese place over on that main street, just a couple of blocks that way." Anna pointed north toward Santa Clara.

"Okay, we’ll be back in a few minutes."

Anna was exhausted. She had lain awake with Lily most of the night, giving comfort as needed. With the help of a sleep aid delivered this morning by an also-grieving Bill Mueller, the blonde woman had finally taken a much needed nap. That gave Anna the opportunity to call her family, who would help with the details. David would drive Lily’s car to San Jose tomorrow, in plenty of time to have it washed and vacuumed. Kim and Martine were tasked with finding Lily an appropriate dress for receiving friends on Saturday night, and another for the funeral on Sunday. "Size six, petite. And don’t forget the hose. Her shoes are here." Anna had hesitantly asked her father to fill in for her at the dealership next week, as she assumed she would remain in San Jose with Lily. He was more than accommodating, and had been on the lot since yesterday afternoon when Anna left.

Finding the guest room empty, Anna continued down the hall to Eleanor’s room. Lily was there, sitting in the bedside armchair, examining the contents of the nightstand. "She was reading Barbara Kingsolver. I gave this to her last year when I finished it."

Anna leaned into the door facing, overwhelmed with sadness for her lover’s loss. It was 7:15, and their plane was leaving LAX for Maui without them. She wanted to tell the broken woman what she had planned for their trip, her promise of forever. But Lily must never think it came from pity, or a need to comfort. Her promise would have to wait.

*  *  *

"Your mother was so special, Lily."

"I know, and I’m really glad that you were her friend. I know that meant a lot to her." Lily had the line down cold. It’s what all of the people who had come this evening to the funeral home needed to hear, and what her mother would want her to say. Scanning the room, she spotted Bill Mueller sitting alone by the wall, so she slipped into the empty chair beside him, snaking her arm through his. "Mom really loved you, Bill."

"I loved her too," he said sadly. "I can’t help but think I really let her down, though. I just couldn’t get past losing Liz. I didn’t want to go through that with anyone again. And in the end, I did anyway."

"She was so grateful to have you in her life. She told me so last Saturday when we were hiking." Eleanor hadn’t exactly said that, but Lily knew it to be true, and knew also that the words would be comforting. "I hope you know how she felt."

He nodded and squeezed her hand. "And I hope you know that you were her life, Lily. As far as Eleanor was concerned, the sun rose and set on everything you did."

"Moving into her house was the luckiest day of my life." Of all the theorems in the universe, Lily knew this one to be true. She leaned over and placed a small kiss on the temple of her mother’s friend. He would always hold a special place in her heart.

Anna huddled near the guest register, on the lookout for her family and Lily’s LA friends. Tony and his wife had come, as had Lauren and her husband, and Pauline. They had driven up together, and would return to LA after the funeral tomorrow afternoon. Anna had already taken care of their rooms at the Fairmont.

The entire Kaklis family had stopped by the house early this afternoon before going to the hotel. Lily’s two new dresses were perfect, and she thanked Kim and Martine for their trouble. Anna looked over the car and pronounced it perfect also, much to her younger brother’s relief. George and Hal, clearly uncomfortable, sat in the kitchen and talked about the Dodgers.

Now everyone was here at the viewing, offering Lily their support. Anna looked around the room, taking in the large crowd of people who counted themselves as Eleanor Stuart’s friends.

As the crowd began to dwindle, Anna scanned the crowd for her lover. It was time, she knew, to take Lily’s side at the evening’s most difficult moment. Slipping an arm around the smaller woman’s waist, she whispered, "Are you ready?"

Lily teared up immediately, but nodded. Slowly they walked together to the end of the room where Eleanor lay in an open casket. "Do you have the stuff?"

"Yes, I have everything right here." Anna patted the pocket of her skirt. The blonde woman stumbled slightly when they reached the casket, and Anna got behind her and tightened her hold.

"Gosh, people were right. She really does look good." Lily was genuinely heartened that her last picture of her mother would not be an ashen caricature. She had avoided the funeral director’s request to view the body before it was placed on display, asking Anna and Mrs. Beck to take care of that for her.

"She certainly does." Anna swayed slightly as she looked over her lover’s shoulder.

After a long quiet moment, Lily raised a hand to her mouth to stifle a sob. "I can’t believe she’s gone, Anna."

"I know, baby. Me neither."

"She saved me." Another truth. "Everything good about me came from her."

"And I’ll always be grateful for that," Anna added softly.

Lily turned and held out her hand, which Anna filled with the objects they had brought. "Okay, Mom. Here’s a couple of things to take with you." First was a well-worn rawhide bone. "Don’t worry about Chester. We’ll take good care of him. He’s coming to live in LA, where he’ll have his own pool."

Anna chuckled as she remembered Chester’s affinity for their pool, as well as the pool at George and Martine’s. Eleanor had cautioned that the women were spoiling her dog.

"And here’s a little something from me."

Anna nearly lost it as she saw her lover place the card in the casket. They had found it in the bedside table last night. It was made of light blue construction paper, covered with splotchy glue and glitter. The block crayon letters proclaimed, "Happy Mother’s Day. I love you. Lily Parker." She had given it to Eleanor when she was seven years old, right after she had come to live with her first grade teacher, but before she was officially adopted. That card meant more to Eleanor than any possession on earth, and she always kept it close.

"Goodbye, Mom." It was barely a whisper. Anna turned her lover away and walked toward the door. It was time to go home. Tomorrow would be another difficult day.

*  *  *

The beautiful sunny day did not go unnoticed. Sandy and Suzanne brought deli sandwiches to the Stuart home for lunch, and set everything up on the deck out back. Whether on decks or patios, Californians lived outdoors. "Gosh, Lily, your mom sure had a lot of friends." Taking over for Anna at the guest register, Suzanne had met more than a dozen people who claimed to be one of Eleanor’s closest friends.

"Mom had a way of making everyone she knew feel really special."

"Well I sure liked her. Remember that time…" The stories of their Mexico vacation started, and Lily was cheered by the memories.

"Sweetheart, we need to think about getting ready," Anna called from the kitchen. "The car will be here in a little over an hour."

"That’s my cue, ladies. Anna’s been so good these last few days." Solid, Lily thought. "And I really appreciate you guys coming up."

"I’m glad we could be here for you." Sandy hugged her longtime friend. "We’re going to head back when the service is over. Do you need us to do anything?"

"No, I talked with Tony and Lauren a little last night, and they’re taking care of my cases. I’ll probably be here through the week. There’s a lot to do."

"Let us know if we can help," Suzanne offered.

"I will. Thanks."

When the black limousine pulled to the curb an hour later, Anna took her partner’s hand and helped her from the couch. "Just one more thing to get through, and you’re done with all these people. Are you ready?"

Lily nodded and stood, looking out at the waiting car. Suddenly, she stepped into Anna’s arms and pulled her lover’s face down for a long, deep kiss. "Thank you, baby. I couldn’t have gotten through any of this without you," her voice choked with emotion.

As the pair walked to the front of the church to take their seats in the first row, Anna became suddenly self-conscious. People were surely wondering who she was. She wished she could tell them all; she wished that she had been a bigger part of Eleanor’s life so that they would have known. All she could do now was try to be a permanent part of Lily’s life.

Of the six hundred people who packed the small Presbyterian church for Eleanor’s funeral, only fifty or so attended the graveside service. Each of those people wanted one more moment of Lily’s time to convey their condolences and offer their help. Finally, the Kaklis family was all who remained. Lily thanked David first, then Kim and Martine. Jonah had been perfect, and she placed a kiss on his forehead. Next she walked over to where Hal and George stood and hugged Anna’s brother-in-law. "Thanks for being here, Hal. It really meant a lot to me, and to Anna."

"I’m glad we could be here too. You know how special you are to us, and we really liked your mom a lot." He kissed the blonde woman on the cheek, and walked over to join his wife.

Lily turned to face a nervous looking George. They had barely spoken to one another since he had arrived yesterday. "I’m really glad you came, George. Thank you."

Wordlessly, George walked toward her and enveloped the small woman in a fatherly hug. After a long moment, he tearfully whispered so that only she could hear, "We’ll be your family now, Lily."

*  *  *

"Then tell him to fuck off!" Anna growled, slamming down the phone in Eleanor’s kitchen. Not usually one to lose her temper, the car dealer was stressed to the max, and had no patience for people who were jerking her around.

"What’s up, honey?" Lily was astounded. Though it was one of her favorite words, she couldn’t remember the last time her partner had said "fuck." No, on second thought, she did remember it, but it was under completely different circumstances, and in the privacy of their bedroom.

"Sweeney’s being an ass! He wants the deal done by Wednesday or he’ll shop his dealership on the open market."

"So what’s the problem? Aren’t you guys ready to go to final?"

Anna looked at her feet. The last thing she wanted to do was make Lily feel bad. "Yeah, it’s just that I would have to be there, and I want to be here with you."

"That’s crazy, Amazon! This is all you’ve been working on for a month." Lily knew she’d need to push the woman out the door. "Go on and get it done!"

"I don’t give a shit about Sweeney Volkswagen! I’d rather stay here."

"I’m done with you, woman." Lily had a full week’s worth of sorting and packing left, and she needed to meet with a real estate agent tomorrow. She wrapped her arms around her lover’s long neck. "You’ve been perfect, sweetheart. But I’d sort of like to be alone a while. You know, I feel like I’m getting one more chance to be with Mom while I take this house apart."

Anna looked at her dubiously.

"Go!"

"Do you want me to come back when I get finished?"

"I don’t think so, hon. You’re worn out as it is. If you get finished with work, just try to catch up on your rest."

Anna hugged her lover close. "You’re the best, you know."

"Yes, I know."

*  *  *

On Tuesday morning, Lily dropped Anna at the American Airlines terminal one hour before her flight was to leave. To her chagrin, Anna found the security line snaked through the terminal, all the way across the walkway to baggage claim. Missing her flight, she clamored for a seat on the next Southwest departure. Ticket in hand, Anna cleared security again, and found herself in yet another line, this one for boarding passes. Hers was number 151, whatever that meant. She found out when she was called dead last to board the plane, the only remaining seat in the center of the next to last row. Finding no room for her rollerboard, the cheery flight attendant in the denim shirt tagged it and took it away. She would never see it again.

*  *  *

Lily watched sadly through the window as the post hole digger planted the For Sale sign in the front yard. The agent had assured her that the home would sell very quickly and for top dollar, as it had been renovated throughout and was situated in an ideal neighborhood. No matter how much money it brought, it would never equal those intangibles the home had provided her over the years: comfort, security and love.

The week she had expected to be in San Jose had turned to two. It was indeed a formidable task to close out someone’s life. She talked with Anna by phone every day, but Lily convinced the car dealer that she should remain at home while she finished up.

Eleanor’s lawyer had called the second Monday, asking Lily to stop by for the reading of the will. As expected, her mother had left her everything, setting aside a sum for the care of Chester should her daughter choose not to adopt the dog. "You should give that to Anna," she joked. Handing Lily a small key, the lawyer suggested she collect the valuables from her mother’s safety deposit box, and close her accounts at the bank. He also promised to take charge of closing Eleanor’s commercial accounts, so she signed the standard forms for the utility companies and credit card companies.

One by one, Lily ticked off the items on the lawyer’s list. Eleanor’s bank accounts held more than $300,000, most of that in certificates of deposit paying a mere five percent. At the peak of the bull market, she had fortuitously withdrawn her funds from aggressive growth stocks and placed them in the more conservative, lower yield instruments. Unlike most Americans, she never lost a dime.

Because Lily was not the owner of the safety deposit box, a bank officer was required to accompany her inside the small cubicle as she removed the contents. Inside the box were three packets. The first contained an insurance policy, entitling Lily to $250,000 upon Eleanor’s death. Wow! Lily had no idea that her mother had provided for her so generously. The second was Lily’s birth certificate and all of her adoption papers. That would certainly make some interesting reading. Inside the third was a card written to Eleanor by her friend Katharine Fortier, dated 1983. Lily was 11 that year.

Dear Eleanor,

Happy birthday, my friend!

I too have come to celebrate the day you were born, ever since we met six years ago on the Kennedy Trail. Eleanor, I’ve started many times to tell you of my love for you, but somehow I always lose my nerve. I know who you are, and that you are not capable of returning that love. But my life would be incomplete if I failed to let you know what you mean to me.

I wish you life’s greatest joys, and it thrills me to see the love you’ve found with your beautiful daughter. Please know how much your friendship has enriched my life.

Love always,

Katharine

Lily closed the card and held it to her heart, unbidden tears suddenly filling her eyes. Katharine had been in love with Mom for all those years. It had meant enough to her mother to save the card for 20 years, and she had fully intended for her daughter to find it. Lily was warmed to know that her mother had been loved so deeply, and she would always wonder if the women had ever acted upon these feelings.

Now sitting in the living room of her mother’s home, Lily looked around the room. It seemed barren, all the books and trinkets packed in boxes in the foyer. The truck from the women’s shelter was due soon. Lily had gathered her mother’s clothing and separated it into piles according to style and use, suits and dresses in one room, casual clothing in another. All of the kitchen wares had been boxed and the guest bed held all the sheets and towels. Lily would stay with Mr. and Mrs. Beck tonight, starting back to LA with Chester on Sunday.

Lily had encountered few surprises among her mother’s things, but she’d been overwhelmed with how much of her own life her mother had preserved. Besides the standard refrigerator decorations from her art classes, Eleanor had saved report cards, Lily’s high school papers, cards from every occasion, and photographs. Lots of photographs. This box was placed in the X-5, along with a small collection of items that Lily knew meant a lot to her mom. In addition, she had saved most of her mother’s hiking gear, and a favorite sweater.

*  *  *

"Thank you for everything." Lily hugged Mr. and Mrs. Beck and took Chester’s leash in her hand.

"Will we see you again?"

Lily seriously doubted it, but she couldn’t bring herself to close the door. "Sure. I’ll be back to visit from time to time. This is still home."

"Well, you always have a place to stay."

"Thanks." She tugged on the basset hound’s leash. "You ready to go south Chester?" She picked him up and placed him in his crate. Her back seat was too high for his short legs to jump. "Off we go!" Lily waved with far more cheer than she felt.

The five hour drive home was relaxing, especially compared to the strain of the past two and a half weeks. She had lost six pounds, and felt that she had aged 10 years. Mozart, Vivaldi and Bach played softly on the stereo system, lifting her mood considerably.

Lily was eager to see her lover again, and to be held in those strong, comforting arms. Despite her anticipation, when their Brentwood home came into view, she began to cry.

Anna’s car was not at home. Lily suddenly felt very alone.

*  *  *

"I’m so sorry, baby." Anna wrapped her arm around her lover’s waist, spooning tightly to the naked form. "I just misunderstood." Anna thought Lily had said she was leaving around four; instead she arrived home at that time. The car dealer had stayed late at the office just to kill time, not knowing that her lover would come home to an empty house.

"It’s okay." It really was. Anna’s explanation was perfectly reasonable. They had both been under an extreme amount of stress, and a small miscommunication was a minor deal in the grand scheme of things. "Where is he now?"

"Still on his bed, I think," Anna groaned. They had tried first to have Chester sleep downstairs in the family room, placing his familiar flannel beanbag in the corner by the door. After 30 minutes of whimpering and scratching, Anna caved, and brought the dog and his bed to their bedroom. Chester climbed onto their king-sized bed twice, seeking comfort at Anna’s feet, but each time, the tall woman marched him back to his own bed. The third time, she stretched out beside him on the floor, petting him until he began to softly snore.

"He misses her," Lily said sadly.

Anna squeezed her lover again, and kissed the bare shoulder. After more than two weeks, everything was still so raw. "I know, honey. I’ll show him a lot of attention."

Lily chuckled softly. "I told Mom’s lawyer that he should give you the money Mom set aside for taking care of Chester."

"You mean I get to keep the dog and the money?" Anna appreciated all of these lighter moments. It hurt her deeply to see Lily’s anguish.

"You know, I can’t believe how much money Mom left me. When the house sells, it’s all going to be about a million three. Even after taxes, that’ll be a lot."

"Hmmm… think of all the puppy dogs we could get with that."

"Puppy dogs?"

"Oops!"

"Puppy dogs is redundant."

"Ugh," Anna groaned.

"Hmmm… portable laptop."

Anna thought a moment. It was hard enough to do this when a person was sharp, let alone when one was nearly asleep. "Pouring down rain."

"…outside," Lily added.

By morning, the contented hound had once again claimed the space by the tall woman’s feet.

CHAPTER 7

"T HAT’S GREAT NEWS, Colleen! Congratulations!" Tony’s new wife had gotten word last week that she had passed the bar exam. Lily remembered the excitement she had felt when she was admitted to the bar almost seven years ago.

"Well, wish me luck. I applied at the PD’s office." The public defender had a backlog of applicants, but a high turnover rate. Public service was difficult work, and often unappreciated.

"By the way, thanks a million for taking care of all these cases for me. It was a real comfort not to have to worry about it while I was gone." Lily was relieved to find that Colleen had managed her casework, while Tony and Lauren had covered her court appearances. As a result, she could ease back into the grind, rather than having to hit the ground running.

"I’m really glad I could help. You know, Tony thought the world of your mom. I really wish I could have known her."

"Thanks, Colleen. She was special."

"Lily, you have a delivery!" Pauline called down the narrow hallway.

"Great! Everybody in the conference room, now!" Tony, Colleen, Lauren and Pauline obediently made their way to the meeting room, curious about the aromatic box at the front door. Lily paid the young man and carried the box down the hall, unloading its contents in the center of the table. "Let’s see, we have double cheeseburgers for the carnivores, a veggie burger for Pauline, French fries, onion rings, cokes, diet cokes and three flavors of milk shakes."

"How wonderfully decadent!" Lauren was salivating.

"I wanted to show you guys how much you’ve meant to me these last couple of weeks." Lily’s voice cracked slightly. "I couldn’t work with a better bunch of people."

"Well it’s mutual," Lauren proclaimed. "Now pass the food!"

Lily laughed at her friend’s deflection. She really loved these people. "I was going to order something special, like lobster or stone crab, but I thought ‘What the hell? Get ‘em something they really like.’ So now that it’s here, you have to eat it to be polite. That should alleviate your guilt."

An hour later, Lily plopped uncomfortably into her beloved Aeron chair. She had eaten more for lunch than her five previous meals combined. If she didn’t throw up, it would be a miracle.

The attorney had spent the morning bringing herself up to speed on the status of eight cases whose proceedings were already underway. Pauline had updated her calendar to include court appearances tomorrow morning, and again on Thursday afternoon. Two new case files sat in her inbox, one involving a divorce, the other dealing with a child endangerment defendant. Lily hated the latter, but the right to competent legal representation was fundamental to the justice system. Besides, she’d rather be in the middle of it so that she could advise her client than in a position where she couldn’t do anything at all to help the child victims.

The clock on the wall said a quarter after two, far too early to consider packing it in for the day. Lily was distracted. She craved her solitude, no longer used to being around others for such an extended period of time. She wondered what Chester was doing on his first day alone in a new house.

The telephone interrupted her thoughts, its digital display announcing a call from Premier Motors. "If this is about my car payment, I’m going to send the payoff in later this week."

The car dealer chuckled at the greeting. "Hi, darling. How’s your day?"

Lily loved it when Anna called her darling. "It’s going fine. It’s all still… I don’t know… surreal. It just washes over me every now and then, and I have to pull myself together."

Anna’s heart went out to the little blonde, putting up a brave front as she grieved so. "How about we both slip out early and I’ll take you to dinner somewhere nice?"

The attorney’s stomach churned. "I just ate enough cholesterol to seal the Lincoln Tunnel. I can’t possibly think about food right now."

That was good news, Anna thought. Lily hadn’t been eating much lately. She amended her offer. "So how about we both slip out early and take a walk on the beach?"

That’s so sweet! Lily fought to stop the tears from spilling out. "That’d be great, Amazon."

Two hours later, Anna, Lily and a very happy basset hound were romping in the sand at Will Rogers State Beach in Malibu. The blonde stood lookout for the ranger while her lover unclipped Chester’s leash for a game of ‘fetch the chewy.’ It was easily the most fun they’d had in weeks.

Eventually, Chester tired of that game and the tall woman hooked the 30-foot leash to his red leather collar. The hound continued his amusing antics, chasing the receding waves, then running like mad when they rushed ashore.

"This was a good idea," Lily said, hooking her arm through that of her lover as they walked along the shore. The mid-June sun was still relatively high, but at 5:30, the heat of the day was past, giving way to a cool wind blowing in from the sea.

"It’s good to have you back home, sweetheart," Anna said tenderly. "I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day, just sitting in your office not 10 miles away."

"Well, I like playing hooky. We should do this more often."

Anna hoped their afternoon together would cushion the blow of what she was about to say. "We should do it every chance we get, I think. But there may not be many more chances for awhile, at least not for me." Lily didn’t respond, so she continued. "With the Sweeney acquisition sewn up, we’ve started negotiations for the two dealerships in Palm Springs. I’m probably going to have to go down there tomorrow afternoon, maybe stay for a couple of days."

Lily had known this was part of Anna’s business plan for Premier Motors, but she wished it wasn’t all happening now. "I don’t suppose there’s any way you could put this off for a couple of weeks, is there?"

"I wish. But now that we’ve tipped our hand, any delay could get us into a bidding war with somebody else, and we won’t be able to go much higher."

"It’ll be alright. I’ve got a couple of appearances in court this week and preliminary motions on the docket for Monday. I won’t have any time for you anyway, Miss Wheeler-Dealer." she said haughtily. "Hey, that’s actually pretty funny. You’re a wheeler-dealer. Get it?"

The car dealer groaned and rolled her eyes dramatically. A change of subject was in order. "Oh, I meant to tell you. I collected your mail. It’s on your desk, but I pulled out everything that looked like a bill and paid it so you wouldn’t get late charges."

"Well, aren’t you handy to have around?"

"You just love me for my money," Anna pouted.

"I’ve got money now, Amazon! I just love you for your body!"

*  *  *

The saga of Maria and Miguel Esperanza was never-ending. Over the past three years, the Braxton Street Clinic had handled two restraining orders, a divorce, and six different custody hearings for the couple’s children, Sophia and Roberto. Today’s motion was a request to return the children from their aunt Serena to their mother, as she and Miguel were making plans to remarry. As she watched the once again happy couple leave the courtroom, Lily couldn’t help but think that the reconciliation would only start the destructive cycle again.

"Lily!" The attorney stopped as she heard her name.

"Go ahead, I’ll get the next one," she said to the man holding the elevator doors. "Sandy! Hi!"

"I wasn’t sure you were back."

"Yeah, I got back on Sunday. Sorry I didn’t call."

"That’s okay. I know you’ve been busy."

"Just trying to get caught up and back into the swing of things." That and I got really mellow last night on a $9 bottle of cabernet. "You know, I really appreciated you and Suzanne coming up for the funeral. I can’t tell you how much it meant to have my friends there."

"We were glad to come, Lily." She placed her arm on her friend’s shoulder, wanting badly to ask how she was doing, but knowing that Lily would probably lie. "Say, would you and Anna like to come out for dinner? I’ve got to stop at the store and get some fish to grill. It’s just as easy to get four fillets as it is to get two."

"Thanks, but Anna’s down in Palm Springs on business, and I still have some work to catch up on." Lily loved her friends, but she didn’t really want to be with anyone right now. Except Anna, of course. "Thanks for the invitation, though. How about a rain check?"

"You’ve got it." Sandy could sense that her friend was still hurting, so letting her set the pace for social activities was important. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Of course." As an afterthought, Lily added, "And you’ll call me if you need anything too, alright?"

Sandy smiled and nodded. That was how Lily would get back into things, by coming out of herself to help someone else.

*  *  *

Chester heard the car door first and lumbered to his feet, padding eagerly down the stairs to welcome the new arrival. Maybe it was the woman with the black hair!

Lily heard the back door open, and threw the covers back on the bed. Anna’s two days in Palm Springs had turned to four, but she was finally home, just in time to enjoy the weekend. Excitedly, the blonde headed for the commotion that always ensued when Anna greeted Chester. "You better save some of that for me."

Anna jumped up from the floor and grabbed the smaller woman, whipping her around and pulling her back into the strong arms. Now secured in a one-armed hold, Anna used her free hand to playfully scratch Lily’s stomach. "Is this what you want?"

Lily screamed and tried to wriggle free. "Stop it!" she pleaded.

Instead, the scratching turned to merciless tickling, and the blonde dissolved into a heap on the floor. Chester always interpreted humans sitting on the floor as an invitation for his kisses, so he happily complied. Lily dragged Anna down by her shirttail, which was more than the frenzied Chester’s poor bladder could stand. What might have been a simple hello was now all-out mayhem.

"Ewwww! Look what your dog did!" Lily shrieked.

"My dog?"

"He’s your dog right now!" Chester knew he was the object of their disgust and he sulked away, obviously ashamed of his loss of control.

"Look, you’ve hurt his feelings."

"He peed in my lap!"

"He’s upset."

"I’m upset!" Despite her hysterics, she couldn’t keep a straight face. "Oh, alright! Come here, Chester. It’s okay boy." The hound put on his best pitiful look and ambled back to the blonde woman’s lap. That got him a scratch behind the ears; he was obviously forgiven.

"I’ll clean this up. You need a shower. Ewww!" Anna made a face and extricated her long limbs from the pile on the floor.

To her delight, Lily was joined in the walk-in shower by her sexy lover. Anna was usually all business in the shower, but once in a while she would linger as they soaped one another intimately. Tonight, though, was not one of those times, and Anna stepped out after only a couple of minutes. Lily finished up, and then hastily dried her hair so she wouldn’t get her pillow wet. Finally reaching the bed, she found her lover sound asleep.

*  *  *

"You can’t be serious! You’ve been gone all week." Anna was rushing around to get ready for work.

"That’s the problem, sweetheart. I’ve been gone all week. I need to go check on things at Sweeney today, and tomorrow, I’ll probably have to be in my office at Premier all day."

Lily was trying desperately not to throw an absolute hissy fit. It had been a very long week alone in the big house. Her only salvation had been going to her office every day. Now it was Saturday, and Anna was leaving her alone again.

"Why don’t you go hiking today like you usually do?" That was possibly the worst thing Anna could have said.

"You mean like I did with Mom the last time she was here?" Anna really hadn’t deserved the biting response, but Lily was hurt and wanted to hurt back.

"Oh sweetheart, I…" Anna tried to think of something she could say to fix things, but there was no use talking to a retreating back. The car dealer picked up her purse and keys and walked through the family room. Chester sat mournfully at the closed office door. Anna started to open the door, but changed her mind and knocked. She would rather not know if her lover had locked the door. "Honey, I’m sorry."

Slowly the door opened to reveal a somber blonde. "PMS?"

Anna reached out and hugged the smaller woman. "You want to come with me today and watch me kick some ass?"

That was a pretty tempting offer. Lily had never seen her lover "kick ass" before, but if she handled problem personnel the same way she handled jerks like Steve French, that would be a sight to see. "No, I’m just being a baby."

"But you’re my baby," Anna assured.

"Go on, sweetheart. Get your work done so you can hurry back home."

Anna kissed the top of the blonde head and pulled away. "Chester, be a good boy. No peeing on your mother." And she was off.

*  *  *

"I don’t care who she is. I’ve been working here 14 years and I don’t need her telling me how to do my job!" Tommy Russell was the sales manager at Sweeney Volkswagen, a chain-smoking 51-year-old with a quick temper, a heart attack waiting to happen. Given his dedicated service to the Sweeney family, Tommy was understandably angry at being left out of the loop when the dealership changed hands.

"I hear she’s done a pretty good job over at Premier," offered Ben Dunlap, the fleet manager. "I’m sort of looking forward to the change. We’ve only hit quotas once in the last two years." A little dig at the sales manager.

"That was her old man that kept everything running over there," Tommy argued. "She’s nothing more than a pretty face."

"Wow, you weren’t kidding about the pretty face!" Salesman Terry Smythe stood up and watched the dark-haired beauty unfold from the BMW roadster. "And pretty lots of other things!"

Three pairs of eyes followed the tall woman in the black pantsuit through the double doors, up the stairs and into the administrative offices. Moments later, the knell sounded. "Tommy Russell, please report to the conference room. Tommy Russell, report to the conference room."

Tommy lit a cigarette and strolled casually to the door. "Anybody want a coke?"

"You better get up there, Tommy. You don’t want to get off on the wrong foot," Dunlap urged.

"I not worried about it. She needs me a hell of a lot more than I need her," Tommy said smugly. "I can get a job at any dealership in town."

Thirty minutes later, the sales manager walked into the conference room, taking a seat on the opposite end of the long table.

"Mr. Russell, glad you could make it," she began. It looked to Anna as though Tommy Russell was going to be a pain in the ass. "I have a number of charts I’d like to go over with you this morning. Would you mind moving up to this end of the table, or would you have me bring all this down there?" She kept her tone light, but her temper was on hair-trigger at the moment.

Grudgingly, the sales manager moved down the table to take the seat to her right. Anna was overwhelmed by the stench of stale cigarette smoke that seemed to radiate from his pores.

"Mr. Russell, I’ll get right to the point. One of the reasons I wanted to buy this dealership is because I believed I could improve the sales performance and the service revenues. Your sales staff has been missing quotas for much of the last two years. New car sales have fallen 31 percent since 1997. Used car sales are off too, probably because you don’t bring as many cars in on trade when you miss your quotas."

Through the picture window, Anna and Tommy watched as a boom truck began disassembling the tacky yellow and green Sweeney Volkswagen marker. A nearby truck held the new beacon, a dignified black and white sign touting this dealership as Premier Volkswagen.

Tommy squirmed in his chair. "We haven’t had much support. A couple of years ago, Mr. Sweeney pulled all his advertising budget out of the paper and started putting it into cable TV. The only people that come in here are the folks that find us by accident, or the freaks who watch those weird infomercials at three o’clock in the morning."

"An astute observation, Mr. Russell." Anna was indeed impressed that Tommy Russell had connected those particular dots, but she knew he didn’t have the whole picture. "I’m going to spend some money here to sell Volkswagens. I can increase the traffic on this lot, but I’ll expect to see a sizable increase in closings, and in used car activity."

"You get ‘em here, we’ll sell ‘em cars," he bragged.

Anna wasn’t convinced. "I have a small problem, Mr. Russell. Your closing rate is much lower than the industry average, unusually low for cars of this caliber. Your sales staff is writing 15 contracts a week that don’t close. That’s something I’ll expect you to fix. I can send you for training, or I can get a trainer to come in here and pump up the whole staff. But I’m going to expect results, and pretty quickly."

"We don’t need a trainer! Just get the traffic. The guys are chomping at the bit to have people walking onto the lot."

"Why don’t we come back to that issue in a moment? You’ve just brought up another point I wanted to talk about. I’ve noticed that there is not one single female on your sales staff, nor have I seen one single person of color. I’d like to see that change immediately. I want the next eight hires to be women or ethnic minorities, and we’ll discuss the distribution again after they’ve been here a while."

Tommy was flustered. "I wouldn’t mind hiring a woman if I had one show up who knew the first thing about cars. All due respect, our customers would rather deal with men. They trust men more."

"Well, we’re going to try to broaden the customer base, so maybe we’ll find a few out there who aren’t so narrow minded." Her implication was unmistakable. "You know, three of the top five sellers at Premier last year were women. I’m sure once we get a little diversity in the sales staff we’ll see the numbers go up."

Tommy was grinding his teeth. "So which one of us is going to be in charge of hiring the sales staff? That’s always been a part of my job." He reached into his pocket for a cigarette.

"Don’t light that," she directed. "Hiring of the sales staff will still be your responsibility. But I’ll expect you to do it according to my guidelines. In fact, Mr. Russell, I’m going to expect everything at Premier Volkswagen to be done according to my guidelines."

"Is there more?" Tommy couldn’t wait to get out of this room and tell his staff what a bitch they were now working for.

"Yes, there’s much more, but I want to make sure I get the chance to talk with all of the senior staff today, so we can schedule another time next week to go over my specific guidelines. But there is one more thing I’d like to take care of this morning." She looked at her watch. "Effective at 9:32 a.m. today, there is to be no smoking anywhere on the property by any of the staff."

"You can’t be serious! Not even outside?"

"No, not even outside. It’s my prerogative as owner, and I’m exercising it. I don’t want our staff and customers exposed to second-hand smoke. Furthermore, the sales staff who smoke will no longer be allowed to get inside the cars for any reason. Not for a test drive, not to show the features, not even to wipe the dashboard. One of the best features of a new car, Mr. Russell, is the way it smells, and I want to leverage that asset."

Tommy spun out the door. He was sorely tempted to light a cigarette right outside the door, but something about the woman’s warning tone stopped him. As he stormed down the stairs, the knell sounded again. "Ben Dunlap, please report to the conference room. Bill Dunlap, report to the conference room."

After closing at the end of the day, Anna called a general meeting of all available staff. She had managed to meet most of them, and assured them she would soon learn all their names. Tommy Russell failed to show. "Mr. Dunlap, would you please find Mr. Russell and let him know that his presence at this meeting is mandatory. He’d be well served not to test my patience." She liked Ben Dunlap, and was already seeing an expanded role for the team player.

Moments later, Ben returned to take a position near his new boss. Tommy strolled in nonchalantly and leaned against the wall at the back of the room. "Brown noser," he muttered.

"Thank you all for coming. I’m not going to keep you long. I know you’re all eager to get home to your families. I want to thank those of you who welcomed me today, and assure you that I’m really glad to be here. As I told many of you today, you’re going to see some changes here over the next few months as we complete the transition of ownership. I’m excited about our opportunities, and I’m confident that if we can work together as a team, we’ll all share in the rewards." Applause broke out at that overture. It had been two years since anyone got a raise.

"At this time, I’d like to meet briefly with all of the senior staff in the conference room. Goodnight to the rest of you, and I’ll see you next week."

Anna followed the senior staff up to the conference room and closed the door. "Gentlemen, today was a good day for me. Today, I saw just how much potential there is for this dealership. However, the reason for that potential, I’m afraid, is your current poor performance." She paused and made eye contact with each of the men around the table, with the exception of Tommy Russell, who had found something very interesting under the table. "I want each of you to understand that I am not dependent upon you to make this company successful. I am dependent on the competency of a sales manager, a fleet manager, a service manager and a finance manager, but who actually holds those positions is irrelevant to me. I will work with each of you as necessary to turn this dealership around, but I expect nothing short of your complete cooperation."

Tommy couldn’t stand it any longer. "Look, I don’t care if you do own the place. Threatening us with our jobs isn’t exactly a brilliant motivating technique. If I did that with my staff, half of them would quit."

Anna looked coolly at Tommy, sweating him just a moment for effect. "Mr. Russell, let me tell you a little bit about management theory. I do own the place, and it is therefore not necessary for me to prove my abilities to you or to justify my means. You’re the one in the grace period right now. If you believe yourself to be incapable of working as a productive part of this management team, I’ve already got two strong candidates on my other lot."

Tommy would not be humiliated by this bitch! He had some money saved, and now seemed like a pretty good time to sign on with his friend at that dealership in Palm Springs. Those guys didn’t have hiring quotas for "people of color," he thought cynically. "Then you should call one of them." He lit a cigarette and calmly walked from the room.

*  *  *

Driving down Wilshire Boulevard, Anna was at a crossroads… literally. A right at the next light would take to her to Premier BMW, a left would take her home. She’d been away from her desk for five days, and judging from the backlog of paperwork she’d found upon returning from Eleanor’s funeral, she knew the mountain awaiting her attention would be high. It was almost nine o’clock. Perhaps if she just stopped in to review her inbox, that would help her organize her Sunday.

Nah! Lily was a whole hell of a lot more tempting than a pile of paperwork. Ten minutes later, she was pulling into the driveway of the quiet house. A light at the side door guided her into the family room, where Chester greeted her enthusiastically. "Honey?" There was no response as Anna continued to play with the dog. "Lily?" she called, louder this time. Anna walked through the downstairs, finally spotting the unlocked patio door off the kitchen. With the light on inside, she couldn’t make out where lover was.

Grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, Anna walked out onto the patio. The underwater lights illuminated the perimeter of the pool, and she finally spotted Lily in a chaise lounge at the far end. "Hi babe. Everything okay?" Approaching the chair, she warily eyed the contents of the adjacent table: an ice bucket, a bowl of cut-up limes and a bottle of Grey Goose vodka, the latter of which was more than half empty. Lily was wrapped in a blanket, holding a glass in her lap.

"Anna. How nice of you to drop by." Despite her sarcastic words, her tone was low and flat.

The car dealer knew she would have to play this one carefully. It was not about Lily drinking; it was about her being gone all week. "I’m sorry, hon." She made an uncharacteristic decision on the spot. "I stayed a little later tonight so I wouldn’t have to go in tomorrow." She’d have to go in at the crack of dawn on Monday, and probably bring work home for two or three days, but Anna knew that Lily needed her more than the dealership did.

"So you’re not going in tomorrow?" Then how am I going to make you feel guilty? "It’d be nice to have you home… for a change." That last part was slipped in to make her point.

Anna sat down on the chaise and took her lover’s icy hand. From this new vantage point, she could see that the woman was very drunk, her eyes closed and her chin dipping to her chest. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Not hungry."

Probably just as well. As it was, Lily was going to spend plenty of time hanging over the porcelain bowl. "Why don’t we go upstairs then?" She stood and helped the woman slowly to her feet. Anna took the position closest to pool, thinking ahead to avoid that disaster.

Chester bounded about their feet as Anna walked Lily up the stairs. "I’ll take you out in a minute, boy." He seemed to understand that, at least the O-U-T word, and ran back to the family room to wait. The dark-haired woman helped her lover undress and put her to bed, where she instantly passed out.

Anna was exhausted, but she needed to take care of several things before turning in. First on her list was a peanut butter sandwich, which she ate while walking the dog. "Eating dinner with you was a bad idea," she grumbled to Chester as she scooped up his business in the plastic bag. He was pleased, nonetheless, that the dark-haired woman thought enough of his accomplishment to collect it, and strutted all the way back to the big white house.

Next, Anna went out to the pool to gather up Lily’s carnage, storing the vodka on a high shelf above the refrigerator. She was astonished to see two unopened bottles in the back. They never kept that much liquor in the house.

When she turned off the lights in the family room, Anna noticed a light under the door to the office. Lily’s desk was disheveled, an obvious sign that she’d been going through the stack of mail that had arrived while she was gone. As Anna reached across the desk to pull the chain on the green globed banker’s light, a manila envelope caught her eye.

Photos. Please do not bend. Anna noted the return address. "I can’t believe I missed this!" she whispered to herself. Underneath the envelope was a card, appropriately, Monet’s Water-Lily Pond. A photo fell out as Anna opened the card, the bright smiling faces of Lily and her mom in their hiking clothes. The younger woman was sitting up high on a rock, both arms around the shoulders of her mother, who stood in front. Anna realized instantly that the picture had been taken only four days before Eleanor died.

Hi sweetheart!

Just had these developed and I wanted to send you this one right away. Aren’t we a pair! I have the negative, so I’ll have one made for myself too — maybe even a larger one that I can frame for my ‘Lily Wall.’

I had such a good time this weekend! I can’t tell you how it warms me to see you so happy. Anna is a wonderful person, definitely "worth it," if you remember our talk of long ago.

Take care, sweetie. I look forward to seeing you soon at home.

Love, Mom

CHAPTER 8

A NNA TRIED DESPERATELY to juggle her schedule over the next week so that she could be at home in the evenings. That meant leaving the house each day by 6:30 a.m., and on occasion, bringing work home at night. But it was good that she could be home with Lily. They spent many nights in the family room, buried in their respective work, but close enough to touch and trade occasional kisses. Anna felt like their ship had righted again.

Still, they hadn’t made love since the day they went to the beach, their only time since Eleanor died over a month ago. Lily’s kisses were loving, but she turned away from Anna on her side soon after they went to bed. Anna couldn’t help but think that her lover harbored some resentment over her long hours. She was determined that Premier Motors would not come between them.

"This is Lilian Stuart." Lily had forwarded her calls to the conference room, where she’d spread out index cards outlining the prosecutor’s case against her client.

"Two down, one to go!" Anna announced triumphantly.

"You made yourself watch ‘Attack of the Clones!’" Lily deadpanned.

"Never! I just got word from BMW of Palm Springs. They’ve accepted our offer. All we’re waiting for now is to hear from Potter VW, and our little empire is complete."

"Congratulations, doll. It’s all coming together, just like you planned." The attorney truly admired her partner’s business savvy. "When do you think you’ll hear from Potter?"

"Hal thinks we’ll hear later today, or first thing tomorrow. Once they get wind that BMW accepted, they’re going to worry that we’ll pull our offer."

"I might have to take you out to dinner, Amazon. This calls for a celebration." Getting into Empyre’s on a Friday night could be difficult, unless your name was Kaklis.

"I’ve got a better idea. How would you like to drive down to Palm Springs with me tonight? I want to be there when they make the announcement to their staff tomorrow so I can talk to them." Anna thought if Lily saw things firsthand, it might be easier to understand the need for all those extra hours. "I really need to win their support, or I’ll have to replace people, and that would mean having to spend a lot time down there, which I don’t want to do."

"Nor do I want you to," Lily groaned. "If I go, what will I do while you’re at work?"

"You can come with me. You know, lurk in the back and make faces at me while I’m trying to be a bad-ass. Then we’ll go have some fun. Joshua Tree isn’t far. Have you ever been there?"

Lily was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, Mom and I went there a few years ago… but I’d love to go see it with you. It’s beautiful."

Lily’s response reminded Anna that her lover’s hurt was still very fresh. "I’ll meet you at home, then. How soon can you get there?"

"Oooo, are we playing hooky again?"

"You bet."

"One hour. What about Chester?"

"I’ll ask somebody here to look after him. Maybe Holly." In the past few weeks, Chester stories had taken the place of Jonah stories at the staff meetings. In response, several had encouraged her to bring the dog to work sometime. Surely Holly would look after him while they were gone.

*  *  *

Anna got the call on her car phone as they passed Riverside en route to the desert resort. "Woo-hoo!" they shouted. The car dealer was three for three.

After sleeping in on Saturday, the pair headed over to the BMW dealership after lunch. Lily was amazed as she watched her lover take charge of the full staff meeting in the showroom. The woman simply oozed confidence and authority. Lily would add this to her inventory of her multi-faceted lover.

There was the family Anna, with the happy girl-next-door persona. This Anna would do anything for her family members, or for the families of her close friends and coworkers. She was there for all of them, especially her sister, and she paraded Jonah around as though he were her own. Lily smiled as she recognized that it was the family girl in Anna who loved Chester so much.

Then there was the grease monkey, the one who donned the grimy jumpsuit to get her hands dirty under the hood of a classic car. Lily found this Anna totally irresistible. It wasn’t just the stark contrast from the runway model chic that most people got to see. It was more that the grease monkey symbolized Anna’s fascination with all things mechanical. She loved knowing how things worked, and couldn’t care less about the mess she made of herself. She had no idea she was so sexy!

Next, there was Anna the friend, one of the nicest, warmest people you’d ever want to meet. It was this Anna that Lily had fallen in love with. The friend had gone for help when they were trapped underground, and returned at her own peril. The friend had helped out at Kidz Kamp, and spotted her a hell of a deal on a new X-5 when her resources were tight. It was also the friend who had been a constant source of strength throughout the ordeal of saying goodbye to her mother.

Ah, and there was the lover. Oh boy, was there ever the lover! Anna’s touch was as magical as her own response. Never could Lily have imagined connecting so deeply with another person.

And now, Lily was getting her first real glimpse of Anna the executive, a woman with vision and drive, and the know-how to reach her goal. No doubt it was these qualities that had first attracted Scott Rutherford, the business professor at Southern Cal. Lily too found the CEO Anna quite seductive, realizing with great satisfaction that half of the people Anna met in her work–men and women alike–probably found themselves attracted to her. But she’s mine. The private celebration they had shared in their hotel room last night assured her of that.

"I’m very excited about this new opportunity here in Palm Springs. Over the next few weeks, you’ll see some unfamiliar faces in here, going over the books and procedures, meeting with people, generally being disruptive and annoying." Most of the people chuckled, but a few were skeptical. "Please forgive them, and get to know them if you can. They’re all really good people and I’ve asked them to get all of the Premier dealerships in sync." No one knew as yet that Premier was also acquiring the business next door. "We’ll probably make a few changes, but given your success, we’re just as likely to adopt some of your practices for the dealerships in LA."

Anna tried to make eye contact with as many people as possible as she worked the crowd. When her eyes met those of her lover, at the side of the room leaning against a sporty Z4, she was startled by a tingling that turned quickly to a blush. Lily’s look clearly said love, admiration and… lust? Looking away quickly to shake the welcome but distracting image, she continued. "Finally, I want everyone to know that at this time, I have no plans to make any personnel changes. Your positions and salaries will not be impacted, and with more employees now in our workforce, we expect to negotiate a better benefits package for all of you. Your work has brought about this company’s success, and I sincerely hope that each of you will plan to stay on under new management. Thank you very much. I hope to meet each of you personally before I leave today. Right now, I’d like to see the senior staff in the conference room."

Lily gave her lover a wink and slipped out the side door. She’d decided to tour The Living Desert, a nearby nature attraction, while Anna finished up. At 7:00 p.m., the CEO walked next door to Potter VW for a repeat performance.

"Oh, shit," Tommy Russell thought as he realized what today’s staff meeting was about. Last Monday, he’d called his friend John Turgeon, the sales manager at Potter, saying that he needed a change. He’d been on the staff at Potter for two days when Anna Kaklis showed up to make his life miserable. Like 114 degrees wasn’t miserable enough.

*  *  *

When Sunday morning came, the two women headed to the national park at Joshua Tree, stopping to see the Barker Dam, and hiking more than three miles to visit the oases. It was certainly beautiful, but difficult to enjoy in the overbearing heat, so they vowed to return sometime in the cooler months. Both women had enjoyed the rare opportunity to spend time together doing something completely different from their daily grind.

Settling into the sports car for the ride back to LA, they fell into a comfortable, quiet calm. Anna felt reconnected to her lover, even closer these days after sharing Lily’s loss. These were the hard times Carolyn had spoken of, and she was grateful that she and Lily had been able to talk throughout the ordeal. More than ever, she wanted Lily to know that she would always be there. Things were going to be very busy for the next couple of months, but she needed to look for another opportunity to make the Maui trip.

Lily too felt closer to Anna. It had been a good decision to go with her to Palm Springs to see how important this was to her lover’s sense of accomplishment. Anna was definitely in her element as a CEO, and Lily had to confess, the woman’s commanding nature was one of the things that had attracted her in the first place. Seeing how well things had gone in Palm Springs, she was hopeful that things were getting back on track for them.

*  *  *

"We find the defendant ‘not guilty’, your honor."

"Mr. Foreman, in accordance with California law, was the verdict unanimous?"

"Yes, it was, your honor."

Lily had performed her job nicely, getting her client acquitted of charges of reckless endangerment of a child. She felt like shit. She had demonstrated to the jury probable doubt that Mr. Thuy was aware that his children had access to his gun. The family had narrowly avoided a tragedy when their four-year-old son fired the gun into their mattress as he rushed to place it back under the bed. She wanted to take Mr. Thuy down to the morgue, where on any given day, he could see firsthand the damage a gun could do. Then perhaps he’d trouble himself to get a gun lock, or better still, get rid of the goddamned thing! Lily hated guns.

The attorney spoke briefly with the prosecutor, accepting his congratulations and assuring him that she had already taken steps to educate Mr. Thuy on gun safety and children. Both were hopeful they’d seen the last of the careless father.

Lily trudged back to her office and closed the door. She hated criminal trials, but Tony had assigned her this one when he and Lauren were covered up. They were both behind in their own work, having split her workload while she was gone. With the trial over quickly, she could get back into the divorces, adoption filings and custody hearings that comprised the majority of her cases.

There was a light knock, and her door was opened a crack. "Lily, you got a minute?"

Lily looked up to see Tony in her doorway. "Of course. Anytime." She gestured to a chair across from her desk.

Tony stepped into her office and closed the door. Taking a seat, he began, "So how are you doing, my friend?" Lily was still hurting, he could see.

"It’s hard sometimes, Tony." Lily turned and picked up the newly framed picture from Strawberry Peak. "I still miss her. I guess I always will." She couldn’t stop the misty eyes, but she held the tears in check.

"I’m sorry, Lily. If we can help you with anything, you’ll let us know?"

Lily nodded. After a few quiet moments, she asked, "Is there something else, Tony?"

The lawyer shifted his feet from back to front and leaned forward in the chair. This was going to be difficult. "I wanted to talk to you about your workload. I was wondering if maybe we’ve pushed you back into things too quickly."

"I don’t think so. Is there a problem with my work?" she asked testily.

"I’ve gotten a couple of calls, Lily. Marty Huffstetler’s father said you missed his arraignment. Silvia Flores said you were ill-prepared for her preliminary custody hearing, and she was worried it was going to cost her the kids." He looked across the desk at the blonde attorney, but she wouldn’t meet his eye. "It’s not like you, Lily."

"It was the Thuy trial, Tony, which by the way, ended this afternoon with an acquittal. You know how I hate criminal stuff. It just takes me longer to slog through it all."

Tony wanted to give his friend the benefit of the doubt. "Okay, Lil. If you need any help, you’ve got to let me know. Colleen still hasn’t heard anything from the PD’s office, so she’s available to help."

Lily bit her tongue. So you want Colleen to have my job, is that it? "If I need any help, Tony, I’ll be sure to ask," she said crisply.

Tony returned to his office, leaving Lily to stew.

Not quite four o’clock on a Friday afternoon. Quitting time.

*  *  *

Anna had run into trouble with the senior staff at Premier VW of LA. Three weeks after the takeover, only Ben Dunlap remained, the service and finance managers summarily dismissed for failing to follow Anna’s new guidelines. She had replaced Tommy Russell with Marco Gonzalez, a 31-year-old dynamo who loved Volkswagens. She desperately needed Hal’s help with the books, but was reluctant to add to his workload, especially since he was already spending two days a week in Palm Springs. So here she was on a Friday night, pouring over printouts in the conference room, trying to reconcile the inventory with the revenue.

Realizing she wouldn’t make it home for dinner, Anna called Lily with a plan. "Hey darling! How was your day?"

"Well, I won my case, but all things being equal, I’d rather have seen my client do a little jail time," she said cynically.

"So, it’s too bad you’re so good at what you do."

How’s that for irony? Lily had already decided that she was not going to tell Anna of her conversation with Tony. No sense in calling attention to your fuckups.

"Listen, babe. I’m going to be stuck here at the VW place for awhile. I was wondering if maybe you’d… maybe… pretty please… pick up a pizza and come by." She listened hopefully for her partner’s response.

Don’t be stubborn. It’s better than being at home alone. "Hmm… Will I get a tip?"

"Definitely!"

"Veggie okay?" Lily drained her glass and stretched to put the vodka bottle back on the top shelf.

"Perfect."

An hour later, Anna saw the X-5 pull onto the lot, slipping into the space beside her own Z8. To her delight, Lily first removed the happy hound from his crate, then a large pizza box. Anna met her lover at the side door, taking the leash and the pizza box as Lily returned to the car for their drinks. Once they were all inside, Anna threw the deadbolt to lock them in.

All alone in the darkened showroom, Anna quickly stole a kiss. As their lips met, she was immediately aware of the overpowering taste and smell of alcohol, and of the breath mints her lover had obviously used to cover it up. This realization that Lily had been drinking set off a few alarms. First and foremost was Anna’s worry that something had happened again to trigger her lover’s depression about losing her mother. She was also very concerned that Lily had driven herself to the dealership when she likely had no business driving, but she wouldn’t bring that up unless she was certain. The last thing on earth she wanted was a fight, acutely aware that her long hours would somehow play into their argument.

As the women ate and played with the dog, Anna watched for any of the telltale signs that her lover was drunk. Lily seemed to be in complete control, but the smell of alcohol was really pronounced on her breath, even as she masked it with the pizza and coke. There was no way around the awkward exchange.

"You know, I don’t feel like working anymore tonight. Why don’t we head home?"

"That’s the spirit! We’ll race you home! Come on Chester!"

"Whoa! Why don’t we ride home together? Would you bring me back in the morning?" Anna tried to sound casual.

"That’s silly. Why don’t you just follow me?"

Anna sighed. "Lily, I’m… sure you’re fine to drive, but I can smell the alcohol on your breath from all the way over here."

Lily bristled. "Yes, I had a drink this afternoon when I got home from work. No, I am not drunk."

"I know you’re not. It’s just that…"

"So if you’re sure I’m fine to drive, then what’s the problem?"

"Sweetheart, anything could happen, and if it does you’d be the one in trouble, so matter whose fault it was." Anna didn’t want to plead, but she needed to make her point. "It’s no big deal."

Her words were followed by a long awkward silence. Lily wore an angry look, her eyes dark and piercing. Finally, she tossed her keys onto the table and they noisily slid across. "Fine. Let’s just go."

Lily grabbed Chester’s leash and walked quickly to the side door while Anna tidied up their mess.

*  *  *

Anna kept up her casual demeanor at home that night, and especially when Lily accompanied her to the VW lot on Saturday morning, though her lover was cool and distant. Kim had called earlier, inviting Lily to join her on her walk today through Topanga Park. The car dealer had put the bug in her sister’s ear last week that Lily seemed to be avoiding the trails that she had always loved, and hoped that walking with Kim and Jonah would ease her lover back into her weekend routine.

"I’m sure you’re getting really tired of this question, but how are you doing, Lily?"

Kim was right. Lily was tired of the question, but she had only briefly seen Kim once since the funeral, so it was fair. Lily lowered her sunglasses into place to cover any tears that might spring up and looked out across the hills. "I’m doing okay, most of the time. It’s hard sometimes though, like putting on these boots today. The last time I went out, it was with Mom."

"I’m glad you came with me today. I know how much you like hiking. You’re welcome to join Jonah and me any weekend. The other ladies don’t walk with me then, because their husbands have normal jobs." She sneered the word, knowing that Lily would understand.

"I hear you. I get to watch Anna come home in time to fall into bed exhausted, and she’s going out the door again when I get up."

Kim was still having difficulty with Hal’s work schedule. "That’s exactly like Hal, and now he’s gone one night a week to Palm Springs. How do you deal with it, Lily?"

I drink. I pout. I get whiney. "I don’t always deal with it, Kim. Sometimes it gets to be frustrating and the next thing I know, we’re fighting about it." Lily wasn’t altogether sure she should be confiding their problems to Anna’s sister, but it would be nice to hear from someone who at least understood what she was going through.

"Hal and I had a few fights at first. But you know, he’s really happy with this new job and all the responsibility. And he’s really pushing himself to do a good job for Anna."

"Anna says it will calm down soon. What do you think?"

"I think my sister will work herself to death to take the load off everybody else. I hope you’re making her come home sometimes and relax a little."

"I… This is important to her. I can’t take it away from her. I catch myself making little comments every now and then to make her feel guilty about being gone so much, but I always apologize. I can’t deny it’s there, though."

Kim understood. "Well, call me if you get lonely in that big old house. Jonah doesn’t have a pool, you know."

These days, it seemed to Lily that she was lonely all the time. The loss of her mother had left her feeling like a family of one, especially with Anna working so much. She wasn’t even sure that having her lover home in the evenings or on the weekends was the answer. She needed more from Anna than just her presence. She needed to know what Anna saw for their future. Otherwise, there would be no end to the misery she felt.

*  *  *

"Hey, baby. Did you and Kim have a good walk?" Anna found her lover in the kitchen, fresh from her shower. Lily looked adorable. As usual, she was barefooted, wearing one of Anna’s large gray polo shirts with the BMW emblem over long baggy shorts.

"It was nice. I’m glad she called." Lily set aside the salad she had been tossing. "Come here, Amazon." She held her arms open.

What a beautiful sight! Anna walked into the smaller woman’s arms, surprised by the ferocity of the hug, which she returned with equal strength. "I love you, Lily." There was more going on here than a simple greeting.

"I love you back." That was all she wanted to say about her behavior last night and this morning. She hated having things between them, but dredging through the details would serve no purpose. She hoped Anna would let her leave it at that.

Walking with Kim today, Lily had reached a very difficult decision. Though she had vowed early in their relationship that she wouldn’t repeat her past mistakes by pressing the issue again, it was time to ask Anna where she stood. More now than ever, Lily needed a constant in her life. The love she shared with Anna was strong and still growing, but Lily wanted a promise. She wanted to dream, to look ahead as she grew old, and to know that Anna would always be by her side.

Eleanor Stuart was the only person on earth who had ever made a promise to her, and that vow of love and commitment had always been her anchor. If Anna couldn’t do this, Lily knew she’d have to plant her own stake in the ground. Her heart knew that Anna Kaklis would be her last chance.

But this wasn’t a good time. She certainly didn’t want Anna having doubts just because she’d been such a brat lately. They needed some time away from all the things that pulled at them, time just for one another.

"Sweetheart, whatever happened with the Maui thing? I mean, did we lose that or can we reschedule for another time?"

Great minds! If only she could find the time. "I’ve still got the tickets. I think all we’d have to do is call the travel agent and try to pick another time we could go." Anna was thrilled that Lily still wanted to go. She had worried that her lover would associate the trip with her mother’s death, but apparently she hadn’t. "What if we tried for Labor Day?"

That was more than six weeks away. Lily was certain she would be psychotic by then. "Any chance we could go before that? I could really use a getaway," she asked hopefully. "You know, we’ve never had a real vacation. What if we planned something for longer, like to Fiji?"

"I’d love to, but I don’t think I can commit to something like that right now."

Her choice of words was certainly ironic. "Well then Maui would be okay. Do you think we could squeeze in a long weekend a little sooner?" There’s a very fine line between asking and begging.

"I’m sorry, babe. The VW place is a mess. Everything else is running fine, thank god, but every time I put a fire out over there, another one breaks out. If we don’t stop hemorrhaging money in the next two months, we’re going to lose our shirts." Anna had slipped seamlessly into her CEO persona.

"Okay, let’s shoot for Labor Day."

*  *  *

Lily wheeled the X-5 into the narrow driveway of the simple house in Hispanic East LA. Maria Esperanza’s old neighborhood, Lily remembered, thinking of the night she had rushed out to protect her client from her violent ex-husband, now her loving current husband.

Beside her in the front seat was 13-year-old Marga Alvarez, a foster child who had deeply touched Lily’s heart. Inside the house, Marga’s 33-year-old mother lay dying, in the final stages of liver cancer. Too soon, Lily knew, Marga Alvarez would be all alone. Sandy had called last week asking Lily to represent the Alvarez family, both as the executor of Mrs. Alvarez’ estate and as the guardian ad litem for Marga.

As guardian ad litem, Lily made the decisions about Marga’s placement. It was an enormous responsibility, but one she knew she couldn’t refuse. Lily had comforted the girl about her ordeal, even talking about the loss of her own mother. She couldn’t help but recall how Anna had reached out to Lateisha, the Kidz Kamp girl whose mother had died.

The teenager jumped from the car almost before it had stopped, running eagerly into the house to see her mother. The child had been in foster care since last week, when Lily had deemed the home situation unsafe, the only adult present now almost fully incapacitated, the house teeming with home health care workers, whose job duties did not include caring for a 13-year-old. Fortunately, Mrs. Alvarez had relatives in Chicago, and Marga was welcome in their home. But for these last few days, Lily stood by the girl’s decision to stay close to her mother.

Lily carried her briefcase into the house, thinking she might get some work done in the kitchen while Marga visited with her mother in the back bedroom. Just as she settled down with her files, the front screen squeaked, announcing a new arrival.

"Mrs. Alvarez?"

That voice.

"Mrs. Alvarez? It’s Bev Adams, from HHC."

Beverly. Lily tasted her lunch in the back of her throat. She had not seen her ex-lover in over six years, since the day she had packed her few belongings and left their home, hurt and bewildered about how things had gone so horribly wrong.

And she did not want to see her today. Lily heard voices in the bedroom, and knew that Marga would soon give her presence away. Quickly, she ducked into the small bathroom off the living room and locked the door. She was perfectly content to ride out Beverly’s visit counting the small octagonal floor tiles as she sat on the covered toilet seat.

It was not to be. "Are you okay in there?" the home health care nurse asked.

Of all the home health care professionals in LA, Beverly Adams had to be the one seeing Mrs. Alvarez. "Fine," Lily answered, lifting her voice an octave in disguise. "Just something I ate, I guess." I can’t believe I fucking said that!

"Look, I’m a nurse. I’ve got something that will settle your stomach," Beverly offered.

"No thanks, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I just need to sit here awhile." Could this possibly be more humiliating?

"Okay, but let me know when you’re out. I need to get something from the cabinet in there."

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! Where was Lauren when she needed bad words?

Lily waited until she was certain that she heard Beverly talking to the sick woman. Slipping out of the bathroom door, she made a beeline back to the kitchen. "All done! Marga, can I see you in the kitchen a minute?" Hurry, child!

The girl walked in to find the lawyer shoving things frantically into her briefcase. "Listen, Marga. I’m going to wait outside in the car. Maybe I’ll pull over across the street. Just enjoy your visit with your mom, and come on out when you’re…"

"Lily?"

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! "Oh, my goodness. Look who it is." Beverly looked… older. Much older. She had never really been what most people would call attractive, but something about this woman’s charisma was intoxicating. Still, Lily was surprised the see the physical changes that had taken place in only six years.

"I thought there was something familiar about that voice."

"How are you, Bev? And how’s Josh? What is he now, 11 years old?" Josh was Beverly’s son, whom Lily had adored.

"I’m fine. We’re both fine. How about you?"

"Mostly okay, I guess. I lost my mom a couple of months ago. That was hard." Eleanor had always treated Beverly warmly, though she confessed later to her daughter that they hadn’t really seemed a good match.

"I’m really sorry to hear that. I always liked Eleanor."

"Thanks."

Unable to just let it go, Beverly’s eyes drifted to Lily’s left hand. Her own sported a simple band of hammered gold. "I see you still haven’t found the one, Lily. I hope someday you do."

"Thanks, Beverly." Lily thought she might throw up, getting well wishes from the likes of Beverly Adams. "Marga, I’ll be in the car," she shouted to the other room. With that, she pushed past Beverly and went to wait it out in the X-5.

*  *  *

A sense of panic gripped Anna as she pulled into the darkened drive. Lily’s car was gone, and the house was still dark, save the outside light by the side door, which came on when it detected her presence in the drive. She had been calling the house off and on all evening, but assumed that Lily was working late also. It was when she failed to reach the woman on her cell phone that she became concerned.

A rude surprise awaited the dark-haired woman in the kitchen, where Chester huddled against the back door, anxious about the scolding he was sure to get. The puddle in the floor confirmed that Lily hadn’t been home at all.

"It’s okay, boy. Not your fault." Adding this forgiving response to that he had gotten the other night, the hound unfortunately processed the information that peeing on the floor was not such a bad thing to do after all.

Anna called Sandy, then Lauren, but still had no clue of her lover’s whereabouts. Next, she retrieved voicemail from every possible source. As she wandered the house in search of a note, the phone mercifully rang.

"Hello." Please be Lily!

It was. "Anna, I need you to come get me."

"Sweetheart, where are you? Are you alright?"

"I’m fine. I’m at the jail downtown."

It wasn’t unusual for Lily to be at the jail. Sometimes, her clients got into trouble and she had to bail them out. A little voice told Anna that this time was different. "Where’s your car? Should I send someone to pick it up?"

Lily took a deep breath and blew it out. "It’s impounded, Anna. I was driving drunk."

Forty minutes later, a furious Anna Kaklis pulled to the curb and her waiting partner got in beside her.

"Thanks for coming. I… I’m sorry."

Anna didn’t answer, eyes straight ahead as the excess adrenalin from her unchanneled anger caused her to push the tachometer higher than usual. The sports car responded with power, lurching as she cycled through the gears.

"Take it easy, now. It wouldn’t do for both of get arrested on the same night." It was a pathetic remark and Lily knew it.

"Please don’t talk, Lily."

For the remainder of the trip, the blonde stared quietly out the window. Don’t you even want to know what happened? When they reached their home, the dejected blonde went straight to bed.

Though she was relieved that Lily was alright, Anna was still furious. She had warned Lily about this, and couldn’t imagine why on earth her lover would be so careless. Taking Chester for his nightly walk, she stewed about how they would get through this.

Entering their bedroom, Anna found the blonde already asleep. For a fleeting moment–a nanosecond really–she considered staying the night in the guest room. For her, that single act had been the beginning of the end of her marriage to Scott. She would never do that again. Foregoing their usual intimacy, Anna followed Lily’s lead and donned a nightshirt. To be naked was to be vulnerable. Taking her place beside her lover in the king-sized bed, she slowly let her hand drift across the bed, coming to rest on her lover’s hip.

Lily needed to stop drinking. And I need to be home with her more.

CHAPTER 9

L ILY WAS VERY fortunate to have landed in Judge Anston’s court, as he remembered with sadness her recent loss. Lauren represented her fellow attorney at the arraignment, where she pleaded no contest in exchange for a 120-day suspension of her driving privileges. Lauren had negotiated an exception for any driving related to her work, so only her home, social and recreational activities would be impacted.

She and Anna had finally cleared the air. Though they barely spoke the day after her arrest, the car dealer had surprised her by staying home the following day. Anna rarely missed a Saturday on the lot, and Lily couldn’t help but wonder if trust was the issue.

"If you’re worried about me needing to drive somewhere while you’re at work, I won’t. I have some reading to do."

Anna lowered her paper and reached across the table to take her lover’s hand. It was time for them to talk. "Lily, I’m just worried about you in general. I know this had been an awful time, and I haven’t exactly been very supportive."

"That’s ridiculous. You’ve been perfect." It was ironic how words meant to soothe could carry such bite. On top of the misery Lily already felt about her spiraling loss of control, Anna was adding guilt by taking the blame herself. "I… I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I never used to be like this." Briefly, she considered telling Anna about her meeting with Beverly, but even she knew it was no excuse for drinking and driving.

"Honey, you lost your mother," Anna said softly. "And it hasn’t helped things that I’ve been gone so much. I know if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t want to be left by myself all the time." The tall woman stood and walked around the table, her arms encircling the blonde head against her stomach. "I’m going to try very hard to be home a lot more. I’ve offered Brad and Holly extra incentives to work the weekends so I don’t have to. We’ll get through this, baby."

Lily just loved it when Anna called her baby. "I’m so sorry I’ve been such a pain in the ass."

"Ah, but you’re my pain in the ass."

So why do I feel so miserable? Lily lifted up in the chair to tuck a leg underneath. It was almost 10 o’clock on a Tuesday night, and here she was, prepping a case in Anna’s office while the car dealer methodically processed the work in her inbox. The hound lay under the desk, sound asleep.

Lily looked around her lover’s office. True to her word, she had thrown out her father’s cherry desk, with those god awful green leather wingback chairs, replacing them with a Scandinavian motif. Anna’s numerous awards and plaques from BMW and the business community hung hidden behind her door, which was closed to keep Chester from wandering around. He had recently developed a very bad habit regarding the tile floors. And he hadn’t yet acclimated to the new doggie door at home.

Besides the numerous model cars, two framed photographs were the only obvious personal touches. One was Jonah at six months, smiling and posed in his infant BMW wear. The other was of Anna with Lily, the one taken at the base of Yosemite Falls. Lily too had that photo on her desk. Happier times.

"You ‘bout ready to call it a night?" Anna’s voice startled her.

"Whenever you are." Without a driver’s license, Lily was completely at Anna’s mercy. For reasons she couldn’t understand, she hadn’t wanted to stay home alone. Something inside her was disjointed.

*  *  *

Dressed in her black suit for the somber occasion, the blonde attorney directed her youthful charge to the front row of the church, where she would sit with her mother’s cousin during the service. Taking a seat at the side several rows back, she noted with relief that Beverly was not among the mourners.

Marga Alvarez was a remarkable young woman. Watching the girl absorb the priest’s parting words, Lily marveled at the teenager’s maturity and poise in the face of her loss. She couldn’t help but wonder where a 13-year old got that kind of strength. She herself had come apart when Eleanor had died. A painful lump formed in her throat as she looked upon this child and saw herself sitting with Anna in the front pew of the church in San Jose. Had it already been two months?

Lily had signed all the paperwork earlier this morning to transfer custody of Marga to her relatives in Chicago. The girl was packed and ready, and would leave first thing tomorrow to start her new life. As they walked down the steps from the church, Lily sought out Marga one last time to say goodbye.

"Good luck to you, sweetheart. I’ll be thinking about you." The hug they shared was soothing to both.

"Good luck to you too, Miss Stuart. I bet our moms are watching over both of us right now."

That did it for Lily. She turned quickly towards her car as the tears burst forth. It was still so raw. Is it ever going to stop feeling like this?

The attorney composed herself in the car for more than 20 minutes before starting back to her office. Digging absently in her purse for her cell phone, she called Anna’s direct line. She really needed a friendly voice.

"This is Anna Kaklis." Anna didn’t have caller ID on her office phone.

"Hi baby."

"Sweetheart," Anna sighed, knowing from the small voice that her lover had had a difficult time at the funeral. "How are you feeling?"

"I’m okay, I guess. I just needed to hear your voice."

"You want to have lunch with me? I’ll come downtown," she offered. It would be tricky to work that in, but Anna was willing.

Lily would have loved that, but she didn’t feel right about asking the car dealer to drop everything and rush down, especially since Anna had been so good about being at home in the evenings. "No, that’s okay. Thanks though. I’ll probably just grab something at the deli and eat at my desk."

"You sound down, sweetheart. Is everything alright?"

Lily didn’t want to get into the business about the funeral over the phone. She had only just gotten her emotions under control. "Yeah, it’s fine. It’ll be okay when I get home and can see you."

Anna dreaded what she had to say. "Honey, I was going to call you this afternoon. Something’s come up at the BMW lot in Palm Springs. Hal found a couple of irregularities in their accounting, and he needs me to come take a look."

"Can’t you just fax some things, or send the documents by email? This is the electronic age." Lily was trying desperately not to sound whiney, but she really didn’t want to be alone tonight.

"I would, hon, but this is really sensitive. Hal’s found a six-figure discrepancy, and we really don’t know if it’s just a mistake or an intentional cover-up." Her voice was hushed in case others in the hallway might be listening. "I have to leave right after lunch, but I should only be gone overnight. Hal thinks we can clear it up by noon tomorrow."

Lily was quiet. She could hear from Anna’s tone that the CEO was very worried about the situation in Palm Springs. It was childish of her to expect her lover to stay in LA when something that serious loomed at her business. "Then you really need to take care of that. I’ll be okay. Call me tonight if you get time."

"I’ll make time. Love you."

"Love you, too."

*  *  *

Not at all eager to head home to the empty house, Lily worked on her cases until after six, calling clients to get status reports and to schedule appointments. Only her obligation to Chester, who needed a regular walk in the early evening, propelled her from her office. She really dreaded the darkened house.

Anna won’t be home. With that realization, Lily detoured slightly from her direct route, stopping less than a mile from her home to purchase a fifth of Grey Goose. She knew she shouldn’t, but the idea of being home alone tonight was too much. A few drinks would take the edge off, numb the ache she felt in her bones, and bring her merciful sleep. She and Anna had never actually had the "not drinking anymore" conversation, so it wasn’t like she was breaking a promise or anything, and she wasn’t going to drive anywhere. Beside, Anna would never know.

*  *  *

At 6:35 that evening, Hal found it–the first evidence that the errors they were looking at were not the result of human deception. But a simple programming glitch in the way their contract forms had computed sales tax meant that they now owed the IRS and the state of California more than $100,000. Most likely, they could recover at least part of that cost from the previous owner, who had banked the surplus as profits.

With the matter now settled Anna and Hal caravanned back to their LA homes. The CEO tried to call Lily from the car, but the satellite network was apparently down in their area. Rather than waste time by stopping to find a phone, she decided to push ahead and get home as quickly as she could, maybe even before her lover had gone to bed.

Seeing the kitchen lights on, Anna opted to enter through that door rather than her usual route through the family room. As she approached the kitchen, she was taken aback by the sight. Lily was standing at the counter, calmly pouring a drink. A flood of emotions surged through the dark-haired woman as she watched her lover drink from the glass and fill it again. None of these emotions were good.

"Hello, Lily," she announced herself brusquely.

Oh shit. Lily’s stomach lurched as she realized she was no longer alone. "You’re back early." Nonchalance might work.

"What the hell are you doing?" Anna demanded angrily.

Nope, nonchalance wouldn’t work. "What the hell does it look like?" Lily thought it should have been obvious.

"Goddamn it, Lily! It looks like you couldn’t wait to have me out of your hair for a night so you could get drunk again," Anna charged. She was angrier at the apparent deception than at the act itself.

"And you were more than happy to oblige," Lily shot back. Whoever said the best offense was a good defense had it backwards.

"I had to go! You know that! This was my mother’s business, Lily. It’s all I have left of her." Anna grabbed the bottle and began pouring its contents down the sink.

"Goddamn it, that’s mine!" Lily screamed, lunging across the counter.

What happened in the next few moments would shake their very core. Anna pulled back, sloshing the vodka over herself and the floor as Lily grabbed for the bottle. A nervous Chester had positioned himself behind the feet of his taller mistress, and she tumbled backwards as Lily watched the horror unfold. The bottled shattered and Anna cried out, blood spurting instantly from a deep gash across her palm.

"Oh my god, Anna! Oh my god!" was all Lily could say as she hurried to the drawer for a clean dish towel.

Anna looked in shock at her injured hand, suddenly pulling it back from Lily’s view as she snatched the towel and began to wrap the wound.

"You need stitches. We have to go to the hospital." Lily was starting to panic as she realized what had transpired. It was an accident, right?

"No! I’m not going anywhere with you. You’re drunk!"

"Anna?" She can’t go by herself! "At least let me ride with you. I’ll keep the pressure on it." She reached out to hold the bandaged hand.

"I’ll do it myself, Lily!"

"Please let me help," the drunken blonde whimpered, tears now pouring from her sad green eyes.

"Just… just see if you can manage to clean up this mess before Chester gets hurt." Pushing past her lover, Anna was gone.

CHAPTER 10

A NNA FLINCHED AS the doctor on call efficiently tied off another stitch. It wasn’t the pain—her right hand was loaded with a local anesthetic—but the sight of the open wound that unnerved her. More than two inches long, the gash had split the meaty part of her palm below the thumb. They were up to 21 now, including nine dissolvable stitches deep inside to reconnect the tissue near the bone. Glass cuts were particularly nasty, leaving jagged tears in the skin that were tedious to close.

Her hand had throbbed all the way to the UCLA Medical Center, more so when she used it to change the gears on her Z8. She was certain it would throb tomorrow as well, and probably several days after. The scarlet towel drew quick attention when she entered the emergency room, where a nurse immediately applied pressure to the wound to stop the profuse bleeding.

"Ms. Kaklis, are you sure there isn’t someone we could call to come pick you up?" The nurse had seen the dark-haired woman come in alone. The odor of alcohol was unmistakable.

"No, I can manage, thank you." I will manage. Anna couldn’t call Lily, and she wouldn’t call anyone else. As far as she was concerned, the fewer people who knew about this night, the better.

Dr. Christiansen spoke up. "If there’s no one to call, I’m going to recommend that you rest here for a couple of hours. Your blood pressure dropped a bit from the loss of blood, so I don’t think it would be wise for you to drive just yet."

"Whatever you think," Anna muttered. She hated not having choices.

"Just for a couple of hours," he assured. Before leaving, he prescribed a mild painkiller, but cautioned her to wait until she arrived home before taking one.

Anna sat alone in the curtained room, unbelieving that things had gone so bad. What misery Lily must feel to have all that anger and need for escape. Anna wondered how on earth she could fix it.

"I need to bandage that." The nurse returned with gauze and tape.

Anna held out her hand.

"You were lucky this time, you know," the nurse volunteered. Her tone was sympathetic, not accusatory.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You got some stitches in your hand. What’ll it be next time? Broken teeth? A ruptured spleen?"

Anna was genuinely confused. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"Ms. Kaklis, I’m not trying to intrude. We see things like this all the time in here, people coming in after fights with their boyfriends and husbands." She wrapped neat figure eights around Anna’s thumb and wrist. "If that’s what’s going on here, you should know that there’s help available."

"It isn’t what’s going on." Her voice was clipped and defensive.

The nurse sighed. She was accustomed to the denial. "Look, I can smell the alcohol on your clothes, but I’m pretty sure you haven’t been drinking. I figure there’s a drinker in the house, and you’re the punching bag."

"No, I’m not a punching bag. We were having a… disagreement and I tripped over the dog." She met the nurse’s skeptical eye. It was important to defend Lily. "Really. It wasn’t a fight. More like tug of war… over a vodka bottle," she conceded. "She’d…" Anna caught herself. How much should she say? "She’d never hurt me."

If the nurse was surprised that the other party was a woman, she didn’t let on. "Are you really sure of that? These things have a way of escalating."

"Yes, of course." Things already had escalated, Anna thought, but she was certain that it had all been an accident, and that Lily felt awful about it. Perhaps it would be enough to convince her that she shouldn’t drink anymore. "She’s been under a lot of stress lately," she trailed off. She didn’t want the nurse to think her gentle Lily was a brute.

To the nurse, the injured woman’s response was typical. It wasn’t at all unusual for friends and family members to make excuses for those who drank too much. "Have you talked to your friend about her drinking and how it hurts you?"

"We’ve talked. But it’s hard for her right now. She lost her mother recently, and I’ve been too busy at work to be with her." She was starting to feel more comfortable talking to this compassionate nurse.

The woman finished wrapping the bandage, taping the ends securely around Anna’s wrist. "You’re going to need to change this bandage every couple of days, and keep it dry until the stitches come out." Placing her bandaging materials back in the plastic container, she added, "You know, there’s somebody here at the hospital that you could talk with, somebody who might be able to help."

"I… I don’t know. I think we’ll be able to work this out." Anna hated to talk about personal things.

"Look, I’m sure you’re both trying very hard. But whatever it is you’re doing right now isn’t working. Not for you, and apparently not for her either." The dark-haired woman looked reluctant, almost embarrassed. "Having all this happen is nothing to be ashamed about. But not doing everything you can to fix it would be a shame."

Anna thought about the nurse’s words. What if she was going about this all wrong? "Is there someone here now? Or would I have to come back?" She was pretty sure that once she left, she’d talk herself out of following up.

"Dr. Christiansen says you need to stay a couple of hours. I can have somebody here before then." Her gentle smile was encouraging. Talking to someone was a very big step.

The hospital’s on-call SAC, or substance abuse counselor, stopped by the examining room 45 minutes later to talk. Anna told him all she could remember about Lily’s drinking behavior and the things that had been going on in her life. To demonstrate her own support, she also related the things she had done to help ease her partner’s sorrow, like taking Lily along with her to the office and trying to be at home more. She almost mentioned the trip they were taking to Maui, but that was for something different, something not related at all to the events of tonight.

Anna learned from the counselor that she was what they called an "enabler," because she accepted Lily’s heartbreak as a valid excuse to drink to excess, even going so far as to take on blame herself for her long hours. Lily was exhibiting classic alcoholic symptoms, the counselor told her, and would probably continue until she was forced to face the consequences of her behavior.

"If you truly care about her," he said, "you’re going to have to do something very difficult. In fact, it may be the hardest thing you’ve ever done." He had no idea of the inner strength of the woman sitting across from him. "You’re going to have to step back and let her fall. When she bottoms out, only then will she have to take responsibility for her actions, and only she can decide whether or not to do something about it."

"What do you mean ‘let her fall’? I can’t just kick her out into the street. She’s already lost so much."

"That’s why I said this would be hard," he explained. "It’s painful to see loved ones struggle; especially when we think we can help. But she doesn’t need your help right now. She needs your support, but only to help her fight this, not to help her keep it up."

Anna couldn’t believe what he was asking of her. Tears filled her eyes as she thought of how hurt Lily would be to face yet another abandonment in her life. "I don’t know if I can do that. How will she ever trust me again? Why would she even want to?"

These were old arguments, the counselor knew. His training had prepared him to answer. For a successful outcome, it was vital that people understand exactly what was at stake. "I don’t mean to trivialize your relationship with Lily, but it isn’t what’s important here. Lily’s in a battle for her very soul. Stepping back may cost you her love; not stepping back may cost you both everything."

*  *  *

The crimson blood on the white tile floor stunned the panicked blonde into sobriety. What have I done? Shaking uncontrollably, she cleaned up the mess, shooing a confused Chester away to protect him from the broken glass. Though she scrubbed the floor as best she could, the blood had stained the grout, leaving the awful image in her mind’s eye.

It had been over an hour since Anna left for the hospital. Lily wanted desperately to follow, but her restricted license limited her to work travel only. She wasn’t afraid of being caught by the authorities, but of further raising the ire of her lover.

Anna had every right to be angry, Lily thought. In fact, she realized with alarm, Anna had every right to ask her to leave. She’d been nothing but a pain in the ass, always depressed, losing her license, going on and on about how much time Anna spent at the dealership. And now this.

But Anna wouldn’t ask her to leave. No, Anna was far too kind, far too generous, far too forgiving… For weeks now, she’d been taking all the blame for being gone so much, when all the time, Lily knew that she’d been hiding things from her. She didn’t tell Anna about her trouble at work, or about seeing Beverly the other day. Hell, speaking of hiding, there were two bottles of Grey Goose in the garage right now, behind their camping gear on the second shelf.

No, she’ll just come home and not say anything. She’ll be angry for a day or two, and then everything will be back to normal. She’ll try to be home even more than she already is, and she’ll constantly try to run interference or smooth everything over. In two weeks, they’d go to Maui and spend three days together acting like nothing had happened. Hell, she’ll probably still have her stitches. She’ll be nice to me, and sweet, and we’ll make love.

And then I’ll do something like this again.

Still under the alcohol’s influence, Lily’s reasoning seemed perfect to her. She needed to leave. Anna wouldn’t want her to, and would ask her to stay. For that reason, she needed to be gone when Anna got back. She couldn’t risk another incident like this. What if it got worse?

The blonde retrieved the suitcases from the hall closet and hurriedly packed. Underwear, shoes, belts, jeans, shorts, t-shirts, nightshirts all were crammed haphazardly into the rollerboard. Cosmetics went in the smaller bag, and all of her essential papers and books were stuffed into her briefcase. Once these were loaded in the X-5, Lily made three trips to her closet, collecting suits and tops for work, and slacks and sweaters for going out. Like I’ll be going anywhere. These were laid across the back of the SUV. Finally, she jammed as much of her hiking gear as would fit in her backpack, throwing it onto the back seat.

"Chester," she called the hound. He needs to stay with Anna. "You be a good boy, you hear? Anna needs you to be a good boy." Lily had noticed as a child that when people spoke to babies or to animals, they always said things twice. But then she was a redundancy aficionado.

She remembered the hidden vodka as she turned on her headlights to pull out of the garage. Once it was stowed under the seat, she was off.

It won’t happen again, Anna. I promise.

*  *  *

As soon as she tapped the automatic garage door opener, Anna realized that Lily had gone. What she didn’t yet know was how gone. Anna walked warily through the house, finally reaching the open bare closet. Suddenly overwhelmed with sadness, she sat on their bed and began to cry.

*  *  *

"Here are the invoices you asked for, Anna." Marco Gonzalez startled his boss as he dropped the papers on the conference table. "You know, we’ll find you an office if you want. You don’t have to work in here every time you come."

"If you really want to make me happy, find out where these six cars went," Anna snapped at her VW sales manager.

Whoa! Marco took the list from his obviously angry boss and stepped back. "I’ll see what I can do."

"Marco, wait." Anna sighed and looked away, ashamed of her behavior. "I… didn’t mean to snap at you. I think you’re doing a great job, and I really appreciate it."

"Thanks, Anna. I’ll get on this now."

Anna pressed her fingers against her brow, nursing a small migraine that had loomed for the last two days. Since Wednesday night. Since Lily left. She hadn’t heard from the woman, and she had no idea where she’d gone.

"Anna, there’s a call for you on three." Wanda, the receptionist at the VW lot, was an Alabama native and one of the friendliest people Anna had encountered at this new dealership.

"This is Anna Kaklis." Her stomach knotted as the silence told her that her lover was on the phone.

"Hi." Eight miles away near Playa del Rey, Lily sat in a quiet, darkened hotel room, where she’d been since Wednesday night. She had called in sick the past two days, unable to face her work, her coworkers, or the world in general.

"Hello, Lily." Are you alright, baby? Relieved to hear her lover’s voice, Anna was tempted just to ask her to come home. Surely they could work through this. But the counselor’s warning stopped her. Lily’s very soul was at stake, he said. Anna needed to step back and let Lily be responsible for herself. And like he said, it was hard. But it’s the only way.

"Anna, I’m so sorry about the other night." When Lily had sobered up yesterday, she’d immediately had second thoughts about leaving her home. It was cowardly. Worse, it gave the impression that she didn’t want to be there, that she didn’t want Anna anymore. "Is… is your hand okay?"

"It’s fine," Anna lied. It hurt like hell. Anna had bumped or strained her sore appendage repeatedly. It was amazing how many times a day a person needed to use her dominant hand.

She’s going to make me do all the talking. "I thought maybe we should talk. You know, sort of clear the air about the other night?" Anna was quiet. "Anna, I can’t believe I acted like that. I feel awful about it; especially that you got hurt because of my… irresponsible behavior. I’d give anything to take it all back." Lily meant every word.

"It’s okay, Lily. It was an accident."

Lily sighed with relief. There was more she had to say, but for now, she only want to hold her lover and be held by her. Then they’d be able to start the healing part. "I’m sorry I left. I just thought it would be easier if you didn’t have to put up with me for a couple of days."

"I understand." Anna fought the tears that were now clouding her eyes. "It’s probably a good thing that we not be together while we… work on things."

Lily was sure that her heart had stopped, if only for an instant. "What do you mean work on things? How can we work on things if we’re not together?" Her lover’s silence was frightening.

Anna took a moment to compose herself, fearing her voice would crack any moment and she would dissolve in tears. Lily didn’t need that, and neither did she. They needed reason to guide them, not emotion. Her instructions had been clear: Give no support for anything other than getting Lily help. "You have to work on your drinking problem, Lily. I’ll do anything I can to help you, but it’s best for us both right now if we’re not together." Her heart was breaking.

"Anna… that’s ridiculous! I don’t need help with a drinking problem! I’m not some drunk who keeps a bottle hidden in my desk!" Hiding vodka in the garage shouldn’t count, she reasoned. "I don’t drink every day. Not even every week! I don’t even have to drink at all!"

Anna recognized many of these arguments as those in the pamphlet the counselor had given her. Stick to the message. "Lily, your drinking has become a problem for me. We argue, we hurt each other’s feelings. We never used to do that. When I can’t be home, I feel guilty. And I worry about you and whether or not you’re out driving drunk."

"Anna, if you feel guilty about not being home, maybe you should ask yourself why." Lily needed to make Anna see that always putting her working first was the real problem here.

But Anna wasn’t going to be derailed this time. "Honey, there are all kinds of programs and services out there for alcoholism. Even if it’s just going to AA meetings. I’ll support you in any way I can to get help for this, but you’re the one who has to do it." Please say yes, Lily!

"So now I’m an alcoholic, am I?" Fuck! I’m losing it here! She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Look, if you want me to stop, say the word. I won’t ever drink again. I swear it, Anna."

Anna desperately wanted to believe her lover, but there was too much at stake. She simply couldn’t risk a broken promise, and another incident like this week’s might rip them apart forever. If it were going to last, Lily needed to make this decision for herself, not as a promise to her lover. "It isn’t enough, Lily. You have to get some help."

Oh god, this was going from bad to worse. "Anna, you know me! You know I’m perfectly capable of quitting on my own. I don’t need some goddamned treatment program!" Her pleas had turned to anger. Anna was being unreasonable. "Do you really think I belong in a roomful of people with the shakes, guys who come home drunk and beat the hell out of their wives and kids?"

Lily was making this incredibly difficult, but she had known that her lover would resist, especially if it meant she would have to talk about things that bothered her. Lily usually kept those things to herself. "Sweetheart, I’ll help you look for the right kind of program. Maybe there are places for people like you."

"And just what kind of people are people like me, Anna?" she practically shouted. God, am I some kind of monster?

This was the anger that she had only recently come to know. It was not her gentle lover. "Honey, you’re just a normal person who has gone through difficult times." She recalled the nurse’s words. "You don’t have to feel ashamed about it. People shouldn’t be embarrassed about needing help."

Defeated, Lily finally surrendered. "If I promise to get help, can I come back home?"

You have to let her feel the consequences. "I don’t think that’s a good idea right now."

"Then why should I bother?" It was a rhetorical question, so Lily didn’t wait for the answer.

Staring at the now silent phone, Anna pressed her throbbing hand to her throbbing temple. She had never felt more helpless in all her life. After all the words they’d exchanged, she sadly realized that she still had no idea where Lily was, and if she was alright. Foregoing the intercom, she dialed Wanda’s extension. "Wanda? It’s Anna. Do we have a record of incoming calls? I’d like to know where that last one came from."

*  *  *

Once again the earliest arrival at the office—it was a quarter to seven on Monday morning—Lily made the day’s first pot of coffee and set the bag of warm bagels on the counter. Eating breakfast out every goddamned day meant she could easily bring extras for the others, but she had only done that a couple of times, not wanting to have to explain her change in routine. She had spent 12 nights at the Waterways Lodge, a small hotel near the beach, frequented mostly by vacationing fisherman on the front or back end of their outing. Her small room was pretty basic, but only $79 a night, and the hotel was within walking distance of the beach that bordered busy LAX.

It had been 10 days since she had talked with Anna. It had been 12 days since her last drink.

A flurry of new clients and filings had mercifully kept her distracted from the anguish that consumed her each night when she returned to her room. Even her long nightly walks along the beach had offered little solace, though the wind and cool air seemed to clear her head somewhat. The walks grew longer each night, as she dreaded the sleeplessness and solitude that caused her to dwell on her misery.

She planned to call Anna again on Wednesday to announce that it had been two full weeks since her last drink, hoping that would prove her resolve. She would even agree to talk with someone about her feelings of depression over the loss of her mother. That was the key, she was certain. Making Anna feel badly about her work schedule wasn’t likely to get her invited back home. Besides, if she could just go back home, she was willing to settle for anything Anna would give her. And she’d spend the rest of her life making up for these last few months.

This weekend was the Labor Day holiday. She wondered if they still had reservations for the Maui flight on Friday night at seven.

"Lily, can we talk?" Tony had already entered her office and closed the door.

"It’s seven o’clock on a Monday morning. It’s too early for me to have done something wrong already," she joked nervously. She hoped Tony hadn’t found out about her troubles with Anna. The fewer people that knew about that, the better.

"Look, I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’m just going to say it straight out. I’m pulling you off the Esperanza case. I’d like for you to gather up all your files and notes and bring them to my office."

Surely she had heard wrong. "Tony, I’ve been working that case for more than two years. Why the fuck are you pulling it now?"

Her reaction was exactly what Tony had expected, and feared. "Lily, I’ve talked with Mrs. Esperanza. She feels that you’re resisting her wishes."

"Goddamn right I am! You know as well as I do that it’s all going to start all over again, and it’s the kids who are going to pay!"

"We aren’t social workers, Lily," he admonished. "We’re lawyers, and we’re supposed to serve our clients."

"Who’s serving the kids, Tony? Tell me that!" She was fuming. "Two years, Tony! Two goddamn years! Those kids have been pulled out of their home four different times, twice because of their crazy father, and twice because of their careless mother. Neither one of them deserves to have those children!"

"You’re not the judge, either! It’s not for you to decide. If they want their children back, it’s our job to deliver the best legal services we possibly can. Not to throw roadblocks in their way."

The two glared angrily at each other. Until this very moment, there had never been a day when Lily had questioned her decision to become a lawyer. If she couldn’t help Sofia and Roberto, what was the point?

Calmed by his own outburst, Tony finished. "Try to have the files in my office by the end of the day."

For the next hour and a half, Lily meticulously extracted each file, each note, each record; every single scrap of paper or electronic data byte that documented the Esperanza saga. When she’d gotten it all together, she boxed it up and dropped it wordlessly on the corner of her boss’s desk.

The next two hours were spent stewing, occasionally turning back to the case she and Tony would handle first thing tomorrow morning, that of Lon Phan, a Vietnamese immigrant seeking a stay of deportation for her ailing mother. Immigration law was complicated, and too often, it swung one way or the other based on political grandstanding or the news of the day. Lily felt certain that they could make their case. Her preparation was solid, and Tony had some experience with immigration hearings.

Satisfied that there was no more she could do with the case in her office, Lily called Lon Phan, scheduling one last briefing for this afternoon. She needed to get out of the office for a while, but she couldn’t take her car unless it was work-related.

Lily pressed her intercom button. "Pauline, would you let Tony know that I’ve gone to do a final briefing with Lon Phan."

The secretary was perplexed that Lily had not simply buzzed through to Tony’s office. Nonetheless, she relayed the message as she watched the blonde attorney emerge from the hallway, just as Colleen exited Tony’s office.

Anger roiled inside Lily when she saw Colleen enter the closet-sized office she had commandeered in her part-time role. She was carrying the Esperanza box. "Well that certainly explains a lot," she muttered, flinging open then banging the door on the way out.

*  *  *

"I don’t think she’s walking tonight, boy. Maybe she’s watching the Dodgers, eh?" Anna scratched the hound behind his ears as he peered over the dashboard. From their parking space half a block away, they’d spotted Lily on her late-night stroll from the beach six times in the past 10 days. It was always too dark to see her face, but Anna could tell from the hanging head and slumped shoulders that her lover was sad.

Still, it was always heartening to see that Lily was at least safe and evidently sober. Anna missed her terribly, and worried every day that passed without a call that the distance between them would become insurmountable. Lily needed to know that Anna still loved her very much, and wanted nothing more than for them to be together again and happy. Peering at the silver X-5 as she drove slowly by the lodge, she resolved to call her lover at the law clinic the next day.

Inside the hotel room tonight, the attorney was already asleep. Rather, she was passed out, having given in to the siren’s call of the smoky gray bottle.

CHAPTER 11

F UCK! GODDAMN IT! "Get out of the fucking way!" Lily screamed at the crawling line of cars in front of her. She had fallen asleep without setting the alarm, waking up only 15 minutes before she was due in court. Thank god Tony was co-chairing! But boy, was he going to be pissed!

The attorney lost another 20 minutes looking for a parking space, finally finding a surface lot three blocks from the courthouse. "Sorry I’m late. How are we doing?" she asked her boss as she slipped into the seat beside him.

Tony ignored her question and continued taking notes. The government’s immigration attorney was wrapping up her arguments about why Lon Phan’s mother should be deported immediately, so that meant Tony had already presented their side. She was supposed to have done that. Yep, he’s pissed.

"Counsel, is this a good time for the court to take a break?" Judge Witherspoon’s court was considered one of the most relaxed.

"Yes, your honor. We’re prepared to call our first witness upon return."

"Very well. We will take a break of 15 minutes, after which the petitioners will call their first witness. The parties are admonished…" His instructions droned on while Lily assembled her own notes for their upcoming witness.

Tony, Lily and Lon Phan exited the courtroom and headed for one of the small attorney-client conference rooms. "Mrs. Phan, I need a word with Ms. Stuart in private. Will you excuse us? You can go get something to drink if you want; just be sure to avoid everybody from the courtroom." He closed the door and turned to his very nervous co-counsel.

"Sorry I was late. Traffic was awful today, and then I couldn’t find a place to park."

"Lily, have a seat. We need to talk." The ever gallant man held her chair as she slowly sat. "We were lucky today, because both of us had planned to be here. I don’t have to tell you what could have happened if this had been your case alone." They most certainly would have been fined. She may have been disciplined by the bar. The worse case scenario was that their client’s case could have been tossed out and Lon Phan’s ailing mother deported.

"Yes Tony, I know. I’m really sorry. It was just one of those days. I appreciate you carrying the ball. Did it go okay?" I’m sorry! Let’s move on!

"And also you smell like liquor," he added softly.

Lily leaned back in her chair and looked away. She hadn’t realized that others could tell. "Tony, I admit that I had a couple of drinks last night. Losing the Esperanza case to Colleen was kind of hard to swallow." No reason Tony shouldn’t know his own role in this.

"Lily, I know you’ve been through a lot. And I know the Esperanza kids mean a lot to you. What you need to know is that the Braxton Street Law Clinic means a lot to me. I won’t have it tainted by shoddy work… or by a drunken attorney." He let his words sink in then delivered the final blow. "As of right now, Lily… I’m putting you on indefinite suspension. You need to get your act together. I can’t take a chance of letting this continue."

The stunned blonde attorney sat in disbelief as he picked up his briefcase and disappeared into the hallway.

*  *  *

Lily was in court today, Pauline had said. The receptionist was her usual cheery self when Anna had called, leading the car dealer to guess that her lover had probably not told her coworkers that she had moved out of their home for the time being. Anna hoped they would be back together before others found out about their troubles. She hadn’t mentioned anything at all to her own family, declining invitations over the past two weeks to avoid having to explain where Lily was. She had done the same when things had started to fall apart with Scott. The difference here, Anna knew, was that she wanted to work through this with Lily, no matter how difficult it was.

"Anna, I’ve got something you’re going to want to see," Marco interrupted her thoughts, dropping a folder on the table. "Remember those six cars you asked me about? I asked the LAPD to track the VINs and you’ll never guess what I found."

The car dealer sat in fascination for the next 20 minutes as her sales manager took her through his findings. The vehicle identification numbers had shown up in the state’s database as registered vehicles, confirming that they had been imported and delivered. The original invoices had obviously been purged from the company’s database, but the VINs had shown up on the annual aggregate report from VW. Yet, the Sweeney books had no records of their sales, so by all accounts, the vehicles should still be on the lot. A closer look showed that all six vehicles were at one time registered to the same person, a Sherilyn Richardson, identified by Wanda as Gordon Sweeney’s youngest daughter. Mrs. Richardson—and probably someone else from within the company—had simply stolen six cars over the last two years. Anna directed Marco to turn the information over to their attorney for follow-up. Someone may be headed to jail; at the very least, Gordon Sweeney would compensate Premier VW for the six vehicles.

Marco’s discovery was a tipping point for the CEO of this new auto empire. For the first time since she had taken over the business, Anna took stock of all the headaches and problems the ambitious moves had cost her. Besides these looming criminal charges, there was the tax fiasco in Palm Springs. The personnel moves throughout the company had led to ongoing difficulties that arose while people learned new jobs. There were the problems between Kim and Hal that hadn’t been there before Anna placed so many demands on her brother-in-law. Then, of course, there were the long, long hours she had logged between all the businesses trying to bring them into sync. The latter she knew was the one that had extracted the biggest price. She was terrified to think that it may have cost her Lily, but even that was incidental compared to the price Lily was now paying.

Anna picked up the phone to call her brother-in-law. "Hal? Listen, something very important has come up this weekend. I need for you and Kim and Jonah to get on a plane Friday night and fly to Maui… that’s for three days and three nights on the beach… No, it’s very important… If you don’t go, you’re fired… Thank you Hal. I’ll send the tickets over, and have a great time."

That night from her car, she and Chester watched from their vantage point up the street as Lily entered the Waterways Lodge. If possible, she appeared even sadder than she ever had before. Consumed with guilt from her realizations earlier that day, Anna made a move to exit the car and go to her lover. It was the sight of the tall brown bag in the blonde woman’s hand that stopped her. Why am I doing this? Why do I keep coming down here to check on her when she doesn’t give a damn about herself?

*  *  *

Lily couldn’t call Anna now, at least not to boast that she had been two weeks without a drink. Fresh off the disaster in court yesterday, she’d picked up a bottle of tonic to wash down another half-bottle of vodka, but when she reached her room, she was no longer interested in the escape. Instead, she’d simply donned her mother’s heavy sweater and returned to the beach, where she sat watching the planes roar over the ocean until the wee hours of the morning.

When she exited the hotel, she glimpsed what looked like Anna’s car as it rounded the corner and spun out of sight. There were only a handful of Z8s in LA, as they were only available via direct order from the factory in Munich. But it couldn’t have been her. Nah. What would she have been doing down here?

Lily spent the next day—her first day of unemployment—sleeping in, the ‘Do not disturb’ sign warding off the housekeeper. Her combination breakfast/lunch came again from the vending machines, mostly those so-called empty calories—peanut butter crackers, a chocolate bar and a mysterious fruit punch. She knew that one day the god whose name she so often took in vain would show mercy and deliver her from this hell on earth, and she would never again eat peanut butter crackers or chocolate bars or drink that mysterious fruit punch.

The beach was too crowded for her tastes in the daytime, so she opted instead to kill the time until it thinned out by finally going through the box she had brought from her mother’s house after the funeral. For reasons Lily couldn’t explain, Lisa Parker had been on her mind a lot these last few days. Perhaps it was the ‘aloneness’ she felt, like she wasn’t connected to a living soul.

Her adoption file was moderately thick, as Eleanor had saved the court report in which Katharine Fortier had itemized the reasons the child should not be returned to her natural mother. Lily sat transfixed as she pored over the testimony and arguments. Growing up, she had talked with Eleanor from time to time about her fleeting memories of living with her mother. She vaguely recalled parties, with smoking and drinking, and even naked people from time to time. More vividly, she remembered the nasty taste and smell of beer on the breath of one of her mother’s boyfriends who had kissed her on the mouth. To this day, she hated beer.

Reading the file today gave her a much fuller picture of who her biological mother really was. She had always somehow known the tale of how she’d come to be declared a permanent ward of the state. There was the shoplifting arrest; then the time when Lisa had left her by herself in the car for so long; and the final incident, in which her mother had hit a woman with a bottle and stolen her car. But Lily hadn’t really known the extent of her mother’s encounters with law enforcement. There among the charges she’d remembered were several others for forgery and writing bad checks, and skipping out on restaurant and hotel charges. But the thing that shocked her most was the discovery of three arrests on public drunkenness. I am like her.

Lily rummaged through her briefcase for her Palm Pilot, scanning the directory for Andrew Shively, the police sergeant from Kidz Kamp who had introduced her to kamikazes. Thanks a lot, Andrew! She would forgive him, though. She needed a favor.

*  *  *

Lily needed to go to the Bay Area. Andrew Shively had called her back the next day with the information she wanted: Lisa Ann Parker, now Lisa Parker Haney, had a current driver’s license that showed her living in Oakland.

Given the path she was currently on, Lily needed desperately to see what her mother had become. But only six weeks into her four-month suspension, Lily was still unable to drive to anywhere other than work. Which now means I can’t drive at all, she thought miserably.

"Sandy? Hi, it’s Lily." It was the first time they had connected outside of work since the funeral. "Listen, I know that I am probably by far the shittiest friend you have, but I need to ask a favor. A big favor."

"What do you mean ‘probably’, dearie? Remove all doubt. You’re definitely the shittiest friend I have." Her tone was teasing, though. The social worker had waited patiently for her friend to come out of her depression and ease back into her friends. She was glad to finally be hearing from her, even if it was for a favor.

Lily told her about losing her license, and about the overwhelming need to find her natural mother. She did not offer that she was living in a hotel. Unless Sandy agreed to make the trip, she wouldn’t need to know.

"Lily, why on earth don’t you trust me enough to tell me what’s going on in your life?" She was hurt that her friend had kept things to herself while dealing with the sadness of losing her mother, a sadness so deep it had led her to uncharacteristic behavior behind the wheel. "Of course I’ll take you. We can go tomorrow night after work, or we can leave Saturday morning."

"Thank you, my friend. I appreciate it more than I can say." Lily knew she didn’t deserve to have a friend like Sandy. She hadn’t really given anything of herself to anyone in months. "I guess there are a couple of other things you should know. One, that I’ve been suspended at work for missing a court date." Here goes—Sandy would be the first to know. "And two, I’ve moved out of the house and I’m staying at a hotel near Playa del Rey."

"Oh Lily." The news of how bad things really were for her friend brought a tear to Sandy’s eye, and instantly raised her ire against Anna, who was obviously was not willing to be part of the solution.

The friends worked it out that Suzanne would drop Sandy at the Waterways Lodge on Friday afternoon, and the two women would head north in the X-5, probably returning on Sunday afternoon. In her current state, it simply didn’t matter to Lily that she was missing another trip to Maui. Anna wouldn’t want her to go anyway.

*  *  *

Swinging by the Waterways Lodge on her way home from the VW dealership where she now spent most of her time, Anna was alarmed to find the familiar X-5 gone from the lot. Lily wasn’t supposed to drive anywhere besides work, and there was no way she was still working at 10 on a Friday night. No longer caring about her cover, Anna parked at a meter directly across the street from the hotel’s entrance. She would wait for Lily’s return and they would talk.

After more than an hour, Anna decided to abandon her efforts for the night. Chester still hadn’t taken to his doggie door, and would likely pee in the kitchen floor. While Anna was willing to deal with it, it wasn’t good for the dog’s esteem. The little fellow obviously missed the blonde woman, and had come to depend on their nightly rides in the sports car. She would come back tomorrow, knocking on the door if she had to. It was time to talk.

*  *  *

"Do you think I’m an alcoholic, Sandy?" On the way to Oakland, Lily had told her friend all of the gory details about how she had come to call the Waterways Lodge home, unemployed and all alone.

Sandy looked at her friend out of the corner of her eye. The instrument gauge gave off enough glow for her to make out Lily’s expression. Hell, what are friends for if they can’t tell you the truth? She hoped Lily could handle it. "Yes sweetheart, I think you are." She placed her hand over that of her friend and squeezed.

Lily immediately turned to look out the window, not able to face such a pronouncement from her friend. "I don’t ever have to worry about sugarcoating from you, do I?"

"Sorry, you know how I am about saying what I think. Suzanne’s never forgiven me for going off like I did on that mullet-head haircut of hers."

Despite herself Lily laughed at the memory. Suzanne’s hair had looked awful, but Suzanne had liked it. Nevertheless, Sandy’s relentless harping and ridicule had prompted another cut and a curly perm to remove all traces of the offensive style.

"Lily, as long as I’ve known you, you’ve turned to alcohol when things bothered you. Remember after you left Beverly? You went through a bottle of wine every night in your room."

Lily remembered. Well, sort of. She had stayed with Suzanne and Sandy briefly while she saved enough money for deposits on an apartment and the utilities. When she left Beverly, she just left. "Oh, that reminds me…" She went on to add the tale of running into Beverly Adams to her list of recent woes.

"God, when it rains, it pours! You are such a misery magnet, little one." Sandy always had a way of lightening Lily’s mood, either with her humor or with her heart of gold. Tonight, she was using both.

"Beverly was a long time ago, Sandy. I eventually stopped with the nightly wine bottle. Doesn’t that say that I have control over my drinking?" she asked hopefully. "Which means I might not really be an alcoholic?"

"It wasn’t just that, Lil. You drank again when things went south after the Tahoe incident."

Oh yeah. Lily remembered how devastated she’d been when she’d seen Anna kissing Hal’s friend in the kitchen.

"And how many times have you gotten drunk since Anna started working so much? Or since your mother died?"

"I get your point, Sandy. You’re piling on."

That was Sandy’s cue to back off. Lily needed to digest these facts and answer the question for herself.

The two friends shared a double room at the Hampton Inn in Hayward that night. On Saturday, they would set out to find Lisa Parker Haney. Lily had no idea on earth what she would do when they did.

*  *  *

Sandy located and pressed the button for the X-5’s automatic door locks. Though her work often took her to the less desirable neighborhoods of LA County, something about this Oakland neighborhood had her spooked, even in broad daylight. Using a detailed street map, the two women had found the apartment complex listed on Lisa Parker Haney’s license. Realizing that they wouldn’t be able to get as close as they wanted, the pair found a Target store where Lily bought binoculars. They needed to determine which apartment was F, and neither was willing to simply get out of the car and go see.

Andrew had run a vehicle check as well, and determined that Charles Haney at the same address owned a 1991 Oldsmobile Cutlass, even providing Lily the tag number. No such vehicle was parked at the complex, but the women resolved to watch and wait. And ‘no thank you’ to the nice young man who knocked on their window, offering to sell them something that was really really good.

The Cutlass appeared at 4:45 in the afternoon and a tall thin man of about 60, wearing jeans and an Oakland Raiders t-shirt proclaiming ‘Fuck the Niners’, exited and went into the upstairs apartment on the right. "So I guess we’ve found the place. I wonder if she still lives there," Lily said nervously.

An hour later, the door opened again and a woman came out and headed to the car. From the way she was dressed—black stiletto heels, black stockings, a mini-skirt with a white tuxedo shirt—she obviously was a cocktail waitress, on her way to work. Lily knew at once that it was her mother.

"Follow her, Sandy."

Sandy did as she was told, and soon they were circling the Holiday Inn at the Oakland Airport, driving on so as not to be recognized as having followed the woman. As soon as Lisa disappeared inside the building, Sandy parked near the entrance of the lounge.

"So what do you want to do now? Looks like your mother lives in a dump with an old guy who prefers the Raiders to the 49ers, and she works here in the evenings slinging drinks." Sandy had a real gift for the big picture.

Lily was quiet for a long moment, unsure what more she wanted to know. What is she like?

"Thirsty? I mean for a coke or something," Lily amended quickly. Both women got out and walked toward the door. "I might just go for something exotic… like a Perrier and… water." She winked at her friend.

When they entered the darkened lounge, Lily immediately spotted a table from where both of them could view the whole room. Lisa was serving two men in a corner booth. Turning back to the bar, the waitress shouted in their direction "Be with you ladies in just a minute." Men always tipped better than women, so she wasn’t in any big hurry to get their order.

Sandy watched her friend watch the woman with fascination. "What are you thinking?"

"Right then, I was wondering if she’ll recognize me. I sure recognized her."

"You recognized her because you expected to see her. I bet you’re probably the last person on earth she ever expects to see again."

"Well, I’m not going to introduce myself, that’s for sure!"

Sandy was actually relieved to hear that. Lily didn’t need another negative force in her life, and the social worker couldn’t help but think that Lisa was just that.

"Okay, what can I get you?"

Sandy started, "I’ll have a coke, diet coke if you have it." She looked at her friend, who was staring at the woman’s nametag: LISA. Well, now they were sure. "And my friend will have a diet coke also."

The cocktail waitress shook her head with… was that disgust? In a moment she was back with their drinks, foregoing the bowl of goldfish that appeared on the other occupied tables. She’d be lucky to get a dollar out of them combined. Some women just didn’t know how to drink.

"Think she likes us?" Sandy deadpanned.

"Funny. No, I think she resents us taking up space. If we’re not drinking, then we’re not running up a tab. And if we’re not running up a tab, we’re probably not going to leave much of a tip." This all made perfect sense to Lily.

"Well, we’re not drinking, right?"

"Right," she assured. "But I don’t think the way we’re being treated is necessarily a sign that she’s a bad person." Lily wasn’t sure why she felt so defensive of the total stranger who had neglected her terribly 25 years ago. "On the other hand, I should be used to being ignored by her." It was meant as a joke, but it triggered something she couldn’t stop. "I mean, what can she do? Would she lock me in the cooler so I wouldn’t make trouble while she waited on the other tables? Or would she just pull my chair up to one of the tables and ask the men there to look after me?" The memories were rushing at her now. "Or maybe she’ll just slap me and dare me to move."

"Stop it!"

"I’m sorry I brought you all the way up here for this. I don’t even know why I wanted to come here." Even in the darkened lounge, Sandy could see the mist in her friend’s green eyes.

"Look, Lily. I’m glad you brought me here. And I’m glad we’re both sitting here together watching the woman who let you go work like a dog for the tips she can hustle by flirting with strange men. Because you have a choice, Lily. You get to go home and be somebody else." She waited while her friend watched the woman cross the room again, smiling and laughing while she served the men at the next table. "That’s what it is, Lily. A choice. You can go home and emulate Lisa Parker. Or you can go home and be like Eleanor Stuart."

Lily nodded. Sandy was right. "Will you take me by the cemetery tomorrow on the way home?" She reached in her wallet and pulled out a 100 dollar bill to pay for their drinks.

"Of course. Are you ready to go?"

"You got anything smaller than that?" The waitress practically snarled. "I just got on. I can’t break that yet."

"Keep it," Lily said, locking eyes with Lisa for the first time. The faintest hint of recognition crossed the woman’s face as she watched the green-eyed blonde stand. Lily didn’t give her time to respond, turning on her heel and heading out into the night.

*  *  *

"Excuse me, do you have a guest by the name of Lilian Stuart?" Finding the X-5 gone again on Saturday night, Anna concluded that Lily had found a more permanent place to live and had left the hotel. But she hoped that her lover had left a forwarding address on file.

"Yes, we do. Would you like me to ring her room?"

Anna was startled by the reply. "No, that’s alright. Tell me, have you seen Ms. Stuart today?" Please say yes.

"I can’t say as I have. But I’m not surprised. Her car wasn’t here when I got in this afternoon."

No shit, Sherlock. It wasn’t Anna’s nature to be ill-mannered when she dealt with clerks and service workers. And she’d always thought very little of people who were.

"Thank you." Returning to her car, she fished her PDA from the console and located the number for Sandy and Suzanne. Suzanne was working double shifts at the hospital over the holiday weekend to build up vacation time for their upcoming trip to Europe. With Sandy in Oakland, the phone went to voicemail, and Anna left her number.

Anna held out hope that Lily wouldn’t drive somewhere in defiance of the court order. Maybe she had to go out of town to take a deposition. That would explain why her car was gone. When she got home, she booted up the attorney’s computer in the office to gain access to her contact information. Prompted for a password, Anna couldn’t help but smile. When they’d returned from their trip to Yosemite, Lily had changed her password to ‘ohbaby’ to commemorate her outburst when they were making love. That seemed so long ago.

There it is: Tony LeFevre’s home number.

"Hello."

"Tony, it’s Anna Kaklis."

"Hello Anna." Tony sounded rather stiff and formal. "What can I do for you?"

This was the hard part. If Lily hadn’t told him about moving out, it would come as a surprise that she didn’t know where her lover was. Still, their privacy mattered nothing next to the growing worry she felt over Lily’s whereabouts.

"Tony, do you have any idea where Lily is?" That launched them into a brief conversation in which they traded crucial information about the missing woman—that she had been suspended from her job and that she was no longer living in her home. Both promised the other that they would get in touch if they heard something.

Her anxiety raging, Anna calmed herself with the only scenario that made sense. Lily had gone away with Sandy and Suzanne for the Labor Day weekend. Perhaps Lily hadn’t wanted to leave her BMW at the hotel, and moved it instead to her friends’ Sherman Oaks home. Anna resolved to drive out there tomorrow to see.

*  *  *

Sandy watched her friend from afar as she picked at the unruly blades of grass that surrounded her mother’s headstone. They had gone together to the gravesite, but she had walked away to give Lily the private time she needed with her mom. Sandy hadn’t gone to the graveside service, and was deeply moved when she saw the headstone for the first time:

Eleanor R. Stuart
1939-2002

Beloved mother
Loyal friend

"Hi Mom. Told you I’d be back." It was almost surreal to see her mother’s name on the granite slab. This really happened.

"Anyway, I wanted to stop in and tell you how much I miss you. I had no idea it would be this hard but I guess I should have known. The one thing I’ve always known is how important your promise to me was, that you’d always love me and always be there for me, no matter what. I could sure use some of that right now, because I’m really not very lovable these days."

She was ashamed of what she would say next, but the bloodletting was necessary. "I sort of lost control of myself, and started drinking too much. I’ve been suspended from my job, which by the way, I haven’t been doing very well lately. Don’t tell Katharine, though." She smiled when she thought of the card she had found in the safety deposit box.

"But the worst part is that I think things are pretty much finished with Anna and me. I did something she probably won’t be able to forgive, and she doesn’t want me around. I had hoped she was the kind of person who would have been able to work through things with me, but I think this may been too much for her to handle. We’ll be lucky if we can just salvage a friendship from it." The hard lump nearly pierced her throat as she fathomed her loss of the two most precious people in her life.

"But that’s not why I stopped by today. I sort of figured you already knew all that stuff. It makes me ashamed to think you’re watching me screw up like this. I stopped by today to tell you that I’ve decided that I don’t want to be like that anymore. I’m probably going to need your help more now than ever, because I want to get control of my life again. You’ve always been my anchor, so I hope I can call on you from time to time when I need help."

Lily stood and brushed the grass and dirt from her jeans. "Thank you for everything, Mom. I love you and I really miss you."

CHAPTER 12

A NNA SIGHED WITH relief when she spotted the X-5 in Sandy and Suzanne’s driveway. The first good news was that Lily was safe; the second good news was that she was with friends. Anna really admired Sandy’s strength and maturity, and was sure that Suzanne’s direct approach would help guide Lily to the right place.

She needed to see her lover. She needed to hug her, to kiss her, to hold her. She needed to promise her love. Parking behind the X-5, Anna gathered her courage. Lily might not want to see her—her lover’s last words had been angry. Still, Anna would make it right, no matter what it took.

Sandy met her at the front door. "Anna, I…"

"Sandy, I’m looking for Lily. I need to see her." Please, Sandy.

"She isn’t here, Anna. I just dropped her at her place." Sandy was wary of the dark-haired woman and she wasn’t willing just yet to give away her friend’s hiding place. She needed to know what Anna was up to.

"So she’s okay?"

"What do you mean ‘okay’ Anna? After all she’s been through, Lily’s far from okay. How can you of all people not know that?" Despite the harsh words, there was no anger in Sandy’s tone, just reproach.

Anna stood on the front porch and stared down Lily’s stalwart friend. "I do know how hard it is for her, Sandy. It’s hard for both of us, but I won’t stay away if she’s in any danger. Her car was gone and I got worried."

"What do you mean her car was gone? How do you know where her car’s supposed to be?"

"She called me a couple of days after she left the house and I tracked down the number. I’ve been driving by there every night, you know, just to check on her," she added wistfully. "But then her car disappeared on Friday and I’ve been a nervous wreck ever since. Didn’t you get my message?"

"No, I just got in." So Anna’s been with her all along. That realization warmed the woman and she stepped aside and gestured Anna into the living room. "Lily said she thought things were over for you two."

Anna’s stomach dropped. "Is that what she wants, Sandy?"

"Are you kidding? That’s the last thing she wants, but she says you won’t let her come home." Sandy knew from her social work experience that families of alcoholics were often advised to disassociate themselves from the drinker to force the drinker to take responsibility. She hoped that was the case with Anna.

"Look, Sandy. I love that woman now more than I’ve ever loved her before. But whether I love her or not isn’t what matters here. What matters is her getting help."

"Well, pardon me for being stupid, but how exactly are you helping? You’ve left her out there to do this all by herself."

Anna knew how it must look to Sandy, but she was more afraid that Lily had taken it all to mean that things were over between them. "I’m just doing what the counselor told me at the hospital, Sandy. He said I have to let her fall, let her feel all the consequences of her behavior. Until she does, she won’t do anything to help herself. He says I enabled her to drink by taking the blame, and making it easy for her to keep it up."

Right answer, Amazon! Sandy sighed with relief in knowing that Anna was still in Lily’s corner. What the counselor said was right—it really was the only way for an alcoholic to turn around. She reached over and put her hand on Anna’s shoulder. "Well she’s certainly fallen, Anna. But I think she’s ready to start back up."

"You do?"

"I do." Sandy told Anna the story of finding Lisa Parker, and of her subsequent visit to the cemetery. But she didn’t share their conversation on the way home, in which Lily told her that she’d decided she was tired of letting everybody down, especially herself.

Anna’s blue eyes grew misty as she imagined the anguish Lily must have felt when she saw her natural mother again after all these years, and especially when she stopped at the cemetery to see Eleanor’s grave. "I need to see her. I need to go over there and tell her how I feel."

"No, Anna. I think you should wait." Now that Sandy had all the pieces, she could see the big picture in a way that neither Anna nor Lily could. Anna’s love was still strong, but she wasn’t as certain of Lily’s resolve. "I think your plan worked Anna." It took not being able to come home, losing her job, and now seeing the hard woman her mother turned out to be. "Lily’s having to face the consequences and she doesn’t like it. I think she’s ready to do something."

"What makes you think that? Did she say something about getting help?"

"Not exactly, but I think she’s hit the bottom. I know this is going to be hard, but I think you should hold off seeing her. She needs to do this for herself, not for you. If she finds out everything’s alright with you, she might decide that she doesn’t need help after all."

*  *  *

"Redwood Hills. Sounds like a retirement home," Lily groused.

"Or a ski resort," Sandy added optimistically.

"Yeah, a ski resort for really old people."

Sandy helped Lily stow the last of her things in the small closet. The plain look of the Waterways Lodge was positively gaudy compared to her new digs. The tiny second floor room to which she’d been assigned had a small bathroom and closet on one side, built-in drawers and a writer’s desk on the other. Opposite from the door beneath the window was a simple twin bed with a bedspread in institutional green.

"The only thing missing is a cross over the bed," Lily muttered.

Okay, so it did look a little like Sister Bernadette’s room. "Lily, you’ve been living in a motel for a month eating out of vending machines. Surely this is an improvement."

"At least I didn’t have to talk to anybody there." The blonde walked over to the window and peered out. "Great. A room with a view. Of a tree."

Using Sandy’s computer, Lily had found two day programs for drug and alcohol treatment that she thought might be a good fit. Unfortunately, Judge Anston denied her petition for extended driving privileges, suggesting in chambers that she look into residential treatment.

"Ms. Stuart, I know how difficult this is for you. But in my days on the bench, I’ve sent a lot of people into treatment programs for drug or alcohol problems. For some reason, the residential programs always seem to get the best results."

"With all due respect, Your Honor, I’ve read about these programs. Day programs can be successful too. The key is that the person being treated has to be committed, and I am."

"Ms. Stuart, I believe you. And to be honest, I’d grant a petition like yours in an instant if I thought it was a choice between day treatment and no treatment. But if you’re as committed as you say, you shouldn’t be looking for the easy way out."

Lily’s shoulders slumped in defeat. She couldn’t help but wonder if what he said was true, that she really was looking for the path of least resistance.

"Counselor," he continued, "you can stand anything for 28 days. The next time I see you in my courtroom, I want it to be as an attorney. You have a gift for the law, and I don’t want to see you waste it."

With her comprehensive health insurance, there were literally dozens of options for residential treatment. She chose Redwood Hills for its setting in the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains above Pasadena. On a clear day—if she should happen to be here on that day—one could see the entire LA basin from the front lawn.

Since her admission was voluntary, she was technically free to leave the grounds should she choose to go hiking on the hillside. But in the interest of her treatment, she had signed an agreement to limit her outings, as well as her visitors and telephone contacts. Lily couldn’t help but feel as though she were being led to the gallows. "Sandy, promise me that you’ll come get me if I call you."

Sandy chuckled and hugged her friend. "You’re going to be fine here, Lily."

"Promise me!" the miserable blonde insisted.

"Okay, sweetheart, if that’s what you really want. But you promise me that you’re going to try as hard as you possibly can to finish this program, all 28 days. I don’t want you calling me the first time it gets hard, or the first time you get bored, or the first time…"

"Alright, I get your point already. I promise to try," Lily said meekly.

"I love you, Lil."

"I love you, too. I don’t think I’d stand a chance in this world without a friend like you."

"You’re tougher than you think, Lily." One last hug and Sandy was gone.

And Lily was all alone. Again.

*  *  *

"I can’t tell you. She made me promise." Sandy knew she’d get a call from Anna as soon as Lily’s car went missing again.

"Sandy, why is she hiding from me? Why hasn’t she called?" More and more each day, Anna worried that the distance between Lily and herself was growing too vast to overcome.

"Anna, look. You did the right thing not letting Lily come home. It’s up to her now. We all need to step back and let her fix it. It doesn’t matter whether she’s still your lover at the end, or if she’s still my friend. What matters is that Lily loves herself. And believe me, that’s not the case right now. And I’m pretty sure that’s why she hasn’t called you."

"Did you tell her that I’ve been asking about her? That I was coming by every night?" Anna at least wanted Lily to know that she loved her.

"No, I haven’t told her anything. You need to be patient, Anna, for Lily’s sake. I promise I’ll call you if she needs you, but you’re going to have to trust me."

Anna didn’t have any choice, but she was comforted by the fact that Lily had a friend like Sandy. "I trust you, Sandy. Can you at least tell me if she’s alright?"

"She’s pretty sad, Anna. But I think she’s going to be fine. And in my heart of hearts, I think you’re going to get her back once she beats this."

That was the best news Anna had heard since the day Lily left. "I hope you’re right, Sandy. She’s everything to me."

Sandy smiled to herself. She didn’t know exactly how it was all going to come together, but she knew somehow that things would work out for her friends.

*  *  *

If it weren’t for a vicious caffeine addiction, Lily would have skipped breakfast. She wasn’t yet ready to meet her fellow patients, the other "inmates" as she called them. She’d had no idea how difficult this first step would be.

The information packet in her room contained her daily schedule for the first week:

7:00  Breakfast
8:00  General meeting
9:30  Free time
10:00Individual therapy
11:00Chapel (optional)
NoonLunch
1:30  Step meeting
2:30  Free time
3:00  Group therapy
4:30  Peer counseling
6:00  Dinner
7:00  General meeting
9:00  Free time
10:30Lights out

That’s 12 hours a day I have to spend with other people! Lily wasn’t sure she’d make it through Sunday, let alone 27 more days. Hearing voices in the hallway, she peered out to see what the others were wearing. She’d hate to start off underdressed. Comfortable that she wouldn’t stand out in her jeans and t-shirt, Lily headed out for coffee.

The dining hall was the largest room at Redwood Hills, doubling as the site of the general meetings. Four long tables, each seating eight diners on each side, were lined up perpendicular to the buffet line on one side and an elevated speaker’s platform on the other.

The first person to enter her personal space was a 40-ish man, tall and barrel-chested, sporting a thinly sculpted beard with no mustache. Lily had always thought that particular look odd. "Good morning," he said, placing an arm around her shoulder with undue familiarity. "Welcome to Redwood Hills. My name’s Randy. And you are…?"

Lily lifted the large hand from her shoulder, letting it drop behind her where it brushed against her rear. Great start! "Good morning, Randy. My name is Lily, and I’m not really a morning person." Or afternoon or evening for that matter.

Spotting the industrial sized percolator on a table at the side, Lily navigated her way around the groups of chatting inmates to grab a cup from the stack. As the line formed for bacon, eggs, toast, hotcakes… the usual menu for a breakfast buffet, Lily opted out just to avoid having to interact. Taking a seat at the table farthest from the door, she could see the entire room. Gradually, all of the tables began to fill with diners and soon, she was joined by a beautiful woman of about 50, her long black hair just showing the first tinges of gray. As the woman briefly flashed startling blue eyes in her direction, Lily couldn’t help but imagine that Anna would be as lovely as she aged.

"Hi, my name’s Virginia. I couldn’t help but notice that you have that ‘what-the-hell-am-I-doing-here’ look that says it’s your first day."

Despite her anxiety about the growing crowd, Lily couldn’t help but be warmed by the woman’s smile and disarming nature. "Yeah, it’s my first day. I’m Lily. Nice to meet you." She held out her hand shyly and Virginia took it.

"Lily. My grandmother’s name was Lily. I even considered naming my oldest child after her, but I doubt he’d have liked that much as he got older." That brought a smile to the young woman’s face. Sometimes, it was best to talk about anything except why they were all here. Virginia had noticed that many of the newcomers avoided eating, probably because they were unfamiliar with the routine. "Say, why don’t we hit the line and grab some breakfast? It’s a long time before lunch, and there’s no guarantee it’ll be something you like," she said with a wink.

She really was hungry, especially after staying in her room through dinner the night before. Lily and her new friend joined the line, and soon both were back at the table eating heartily and chatting about familiar ground: the food, the rooms, the facilities. Neither was forthcoming with personal information, and that was just fine with Lily.

At eight sharp, two men and a woman moved to take chairs on the platform. The younger man, seemingly no more than 25 years old, took the podium and announced: "Good morning. My name is Tyler, and I’m an alcoholic."

"Good morning, Tyler," the crowd responded in unison.

Lily’s road back had officially begun.

*  *  *

"God, what a day!" Lily collapsed on her small bed. She had counted 51 other inmates at each of the general meetings, concluding that ‘general’ was a euphemism for ‘mandatory.’ Between those two meetings, the step meeting, and the group therapy session, she had heard 19 testimonials, some more than once. For the most part, Lily didn’t think her own story was as dismal as those related by others. Alcohol abuse had been a way of life for them, causing them to lose their families, their jobs… oh fuck! Well, her story was different. Not one of them had told about losing their mother, or of walking through life sober feeling like you didn’t belong to anybody.

She had shared a lot about her mom with Hillary in the individual therapy session, but she didn’t feel much like talking about Anna. In fact, the counselor had asked her a couple of times if there was someone she would like to invite on the weekends to take part in family therapy, but Lily had declined. "I really have no family," she had said, more matter of fact than sad.

Tyler, the young man who started off the morning meeting, was her peer counselor for the week. He was starting his third week in the program, and today was his first day as the more experienced of the two. In her second week, Lily would be paired with someone in their final week of treatment; and by the third week, she would be assigned to a newcomer. Basically, Tyler had spent their hour together talking about the program, about the things he had learned and how he had come to accept who he was and what he must do to turn his life around. "If you’re anything like most of us, you’re probably thinking you really don’t belong here," he had told her. He was definitely reading her mind, or she really didn’t belong here and he could tell.

At the evening meeting, all of the newcomers were asked to stand. An older guy named William walked around the room handing out white poker chips. The chip, she learned, was to commemorate her first day of sobriety. Counting back to the night before she was placed on leave, Lily noted that today was in fact her 11th day without a drink.

*  *  *

George appeared in Anna’s doorway with an invitation. "Hey, any chance a busy CEO could make some time to have lunch with her old man?"

"I think I could arrange that," she grinned. Not wanting to have to explain Lily’s absence, Anna had turned down their invitations to dinner over the last three weeks, citing her overwhelming work load. This would be a good chance to talk with her father again, and to hear how he was enjoying his semi-retirement.

"So how’s the golf game?" she asked, knowing that her father had been spending quite a bit of his newfound free time on the links.

"It’s getting there, I think. But I’m still kind of rusty, you know. Can’t seem to remember all the swear words," he joked.

"Well you should hang out in the service area sometime. It’s quite a refresher."

"I’m sure it is." George had a couple of things on his mind. He was enjoying his freedom from work, especially the time with Martine, but it had given him a perspective on how he should have better balanced home and work during his tenure as company president. He didn’t want to see his daughter make the same mistake, and he wondered if she would allow him to have another go, this time to do it right. He missed his work terribly.

When they’d placed their orders at Visage, a French restaurant near the dealership where they often ate, Anna tried to guide the conversation to comfortable territory. "So what do you and Mom have planned for vacations?"

"Well, if you had come to dinner last week, you would have heard. We’re leaving Monday for two weeks in the Greek Isles," he said smugly.

"Wow! That’s fantastic!" It suddenly occurred to Anna that she and Lily had not taken a vacation together. Their only trips out of town in the year they had been together were camping in Yosemite and a weekend in Palm Springs, and the latter had been for work.

"And that’s one of the reasons I wanted to have lunch with you today. We’ll be gone next week, so your mother and I would like everyone to come over this weekend to celebrate your birthday."

Damn! "You know, this birthday stuff sort of loses its charm as you climb up that ladder."

George thought he saw a hint of hesitation in his daughter’s face at the mention of a birthday party. "Nonsense! You never get too old for birthdays. Martine suggested Sunday at two o’clock. Does that work? I know, you have to check with what’s-her-name first," he teased. He was bewildered to see the tears rush suddenly to his daughter’s eyes. "Anna, what is it? I was only teasing, sweetheart." He was devastated to think that his playfulness had hurt her.

Anna shook her head, not knowing what to say, or if she should even answer at all. The worried look on her father’s face tipped the scales, though she dreaded giving him ammunition for his arguments against the woman she loved. "Lily and I are… having some problems right now. She’s staying somewhere else until we can get things worked out."

"Anna, darling, why didn’t you say something?"

"So you’d have another excuse to put her down, Dad?" Her tone was quiet, conveying hurt rather than anger at his persistent opposition to their relationship.

"Oh, Anna," he sighed. The joke had gone on too long. "I thought you knew how I felt about Lily. Not how I put on when I’m with her, but how I really feel. Sweetheart, Lily knows it’s all for laughs. I’m sure of it."

It was true, Anna realized, that Lily had stopped complaining about her father long ago, and that she seemed to seek him out for conversation and laughs when they were all together. "I wanted you to tell me, Dad. I wanted to know that you thought I’d made a good choice." She had finally stopped needing her father’s approval, but that didn’t mean she didn’t welcome it.

"Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. You did make a good choice. You made a wonderful choice. I’ve come to love Lily every bit as much as I love Hal. They’re both part of our family as far as I’m concerned." George felt awful that he’d withheld his approval for so long. He hoped his lack of candor hadn’t played a part in his daughter’s problems with Lily. "Can your mother or I do anything at all to help, darling?"

Anna told her father a little about their troubles, leaving out the incident where she’d gotten hurt, as she was still somewhat wary of his convictions about Lily. Mostly, she’d laid the blame for Lily’s drinking on losing her mother, and Anna’s long hours at the dealerships.

That was the opening George wanted, and he shocked his daughter with a request to take over Premium VW when he returned from Greece. Between the two of them, he assured, they could smooth out all of the operations at the four dealerships, and still have plenty of time for their families.

*  *  *

After four days of casual conversation, Lily had begun to talk to Tyler about the series of incidents that had brought her to Redwood Hills. Despite herself, she had found herself listening to the testimonials of her fellow captives—she no longer thought of them as inmates, but the idea was the same—noting with chagrin the similarities between their stories and her own.

The step meetings had been the most agonizing, especially all the God parts. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in a higher spiritual power; it was more that she couldn’t bring herself to place expectations on how that power might intervene in her life. These afflictions were her own, she reasoned, and it was unrealistic to think some spiritual being might just take them away. Lying in her bed on Friday night, Lily recalled the "talk" she had had at her mother’s gravesite two weeks ago. Hadn’t she called on her mother for help? Wasn’t it irrational to believe that Eleanor could help her when a higher power could not?

On her seventh day at Redwood Hills, Lily stood at the morning general meeting, speaking to the group for the first time.

"Good morning. My name is Lily, and I’m an alcoholic."

CHAPTER 13

L ILY RAISED HER water glass to toast her two friends. "To friendship."

Sandy and Suzanne joined her. "To friendship," they replied in unison. They had picked up their friend today after four weeks in the alcohol rehab center, insisting that she would stay at their home until she sorted out more permanent arrangements.

Lily though, agreed to spend Saturday night, but implored her friends to take her back to the Waterways Lodge on Sunday. "No offense, guys, but I haven’t had a moment alone in a month."

Sandy knew her friend’s penchant for sorting things out in solitude, so she acquiesced, but with one condition: Saturday night sleepovers would be mandatory until Lily got a better offer. They had missed their friend.

"Look, I really want you guys to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. In fact, starting today I would like to show you by being a better friend to you both. I’ve been on the receiving end of things too long."

"You don’t owe us anything, Lil. That’s what we’re here for," Suzanne countered.

Lily groaned. "Just humor me, Suzanne. It’s part of my program, actually. I’m supposed to make amends to those I’ve harmed, and you guys are on my list."

Sandy put her hand on Lily’s arm. "You haven’t harmed us, Lily. But it’s good news if it means we’re going to be seeing more of you. So who else is on your list?"

Lily sat back and folded her arms. "Well, there’s Tony of course, and by extension everybody else in the office who cleaned up after me. I plan to call him on Monday to see if I can come back to work. But it’s possible he’ll say no. I really screwed up there."

"You’re one of the best at what you do," Sandy reassured. "There’s no way Tony won’t take you back."

"Well, let’s hope you’re right." Lily had no idea what she would do if she couldn’t go back to work at the clinic.

"So will you call Anna?"

Lily grew quiet for a moment at the mention of her lover’s name. "I will soon. But I’m just not sure I’m ready. I… I don’t know what I’m going to say."

"She loves you, you know," Sandy encouraged. She didn’t want to say too much.

"Yeah, I know. And I love her. I just don’t know if it’s enough anymore." As she had for the past eight weeks, Lily was still grappling with doubts about how they had parted.

"I’m sure you’ll work it out." Suzanne had seen them both enough to know that there was plenty of love between them to bring them back together, no matter what the chasm.

On Sunday morning, Sandy and Suzanne deposited Lily and her SUV at the Waterways Lodge, extracting a promise that she would call if she needed anything.

"Are you kidding? I won’t know what to do with all this freedom. I’ll walk on the beach, read, and eat junk food from vending machines."

"You don’t have to do that now, though. There are lots of places to eat within biking distance." Suzanne unloaded the bicycle she was lending the attorney so that she could expand her territory a bit. Lily had located a small Methodist church three miles away that hosted AA meetings at seven each morning. Ninety meetings in 90 days was her commitment to Redwood Hills. Only 61 days to go.

*  *  *

Fresh back from his tour of the Greek Isles with his wife, George Kaklis strolled into Premier VW on Monday morning, a man on a mission. At a hastily called general staff meeting, Anna introduced her father as the new president of the dealership, her own title now changed to CEO of Premier Motors, and president of Premier BMW. George’s job was to implement Anna’s business plan for increasing sales and service using resources already available at the other Premier lots. In under six weeks, Anna’s campaign in the LA Times had generated a 30 percent increase in traffic on all of the lots, and a corresponding increase in sales. In particular, used car sales had soared, as the BMW lots now had a lucrative outlet for their more downscale trade-ins.

An on occasion, a young man would relinquish his luxury sports car for a more practical vehicle…

"Say, I hear the Passat wagon is a pretty nice ride for a family car," a familiar voice shouted as Anna walked to her Z8.

"Scott!" There he stood, leaning against his soon-to-be-traded Z3, smiling broadly back. "What are you doing here?" Anna crossed the lot and gave her ex-husband a warm hug.

"I got my orders. Sara told me I needed a car that would hold two car seats." He couldn’t hide his proud grin.

"Two?" Anna exclaimed excitedly. She was genuinely happy for him. Despite his one-night stand with Sara, their split had never been malicious or vindictive.

Arm in arm, Anna walked him into the showroom to pull out a contract. She would handle this sale; that way, she could waive the commission, giving him the best deal he could get anywhere. Whipping out his wallet full of photos, Scott told her all about the joys of little Matt, and how they were looking forward to this next one, a girl. As he talked, her cell phone rang but she quickly muted it, making a mental note to check her voice mail later.

"So how about you, Anna? Are you seeing anyone seriously?" His tone was caring, but not patronizing.

"Yes, Scott. As a matter of fact, I am." The dark-haired woman reached into her own wallet and extracted the only photo she carried of her lover, a cropped version of the one taken at Yosemite Falls. She couldn’t help but be nervous as she waited for Scott’s reply.

His surprise evident, Scott took a deep breath and blew it out loudly. "Wow. I wasn’t prepared for that, Anna."

"Yeah, it kind of took me by surprise too," she said smiling softly. "Her name is Lily Stuart, and believe it or not, she’s the woman I was trapped with in the earthquake. We got to be good friends after that, and things just evolved."

Scott shook his head, still in disbelief. "Well, I… I wish you both all the happiness in the world." Afraid that she might have taken his surprise as judgment, he added, "I really mean that, Anna. I’m happy you’ve found someone that makes you feel that way."

"And I’m happy for you, Scott." The uncomfortable moment mostly over, she tugged him in the direction of the administrative offices. "Now if you’ll indulge me, I’d like you to say hello to someone who’s going to be very happy to see you."

Once she’d deposited the man in her father’s office and signed off on the sale of his new VW wagon, Anna walked back to her Z8, smiling to herself at Scott’s happiness. Suddenly remembering the muted phone call, she checked the new message:

"Hi Anna, Sandy Henke here. Thought you might be interested in knowing that there should be a familiar car back at the Waterways Lodge tonight. Suzanne and I dropped her off yesterday, and I have to tell you, she seems better than she has in a long time. Just thought you’d want to know. Bye."

*  *  *

Tony closed his office door and turned to face the blonde attorney standing before his desk. Both uncertain of what to say, their deep feelings of friendship won the moment as they embraced without a word. Lily was first to find her voice.

"I’ve gotten my act together, Tony, like you asked me to."

Her boss smiled. Anna had intimated that Lily was working on her problems, though he had no idea the extent of her efforts. Still, he knew Lily well, and if she said she had her act together, he believed her. "So I take it you’re ready to come back to work?"

The blonde nodded eagerly. "I am, Tony. And I promise to never again give you a reason to worry about my performance. I… truly want to apologize for putting this firm at risk. I hope you know how much this place means to me."

Tony nodded his understanding. He was in a bad spot. In the six weeks Lily had been gone, his wife Colleen had taken over most of her caseload, and she’d turned down the recent offer from the public defender’s office. Given their small budget at the clinic, there was little for Lily to do without dislodging Colleen. He outlined the situation to the anxious attorney before finally offering a compromise. "How would you feel about coming back part time while we look for some additional funding? Maybe you could even look into writing a grant proposal or two."

"I’ll do anything, Tony," Lily answered with relief. "Mom left me in pretty good shape, so the part time thing is okay for now. Thanks."

"It’s good to have you back," he added sincerely. "Listen, till we get things sorted out, would you mind using this smaller office?" He gestured toward the converted closet.

Ouch! "Can I at least… have my chair?" She could stomach the loss of her windowed office, but she wouldn’t stand for losing her Aeron chair! Hmmm… not stand for losing a chair… there was something odd about that sentence.

*  *  *

Sure enough, the silver X-5 was back at the Waterways Lodge. Anna had left Chester at home tonight, thinking that she might get up the nerve to see Lily face to face. Her courage was slipping fast though, as she went over in her head what she’d say. She wanted Lily to come home.

Come on Amazon. Maybe she’s just waiting for an invitation. Her mind made up, Anna climbed out of the sports car and walked nervously inside to the front desk, where she found the clerk absorbed in his nightly paperwork. "I’m here to see Lilian Stuart please."

Getting no answer when he dialed the woman’s room, the helpful clerk volunteered, "She usually goes for a walk on the beach at night. I bet that’s where she is."

Anna grabbed her jacket from the car and headed toward the beach, looking carefully down side streets so as not to miss her lover. When she reached the water she scanned the beachgoers, looking for a distinct head of bright blonde hair. No such person in either direction, she lamented. With the sunlight quickly fading, Anna thought it best to wait on the path Lily would most likely take back to the hotel. After more than a half hour, she made out a familiar figure in the distance.

I should start to look for an apartment. I need to get the rest of my things from the house. What about Chester? I should probably stay here until I get my license back. In her head, Lily was turning over possibilities for where to go from here. In the last two hours of walking, she’d completely ruled out going back home. That decision followed what she thought was a pretty rational analysis of the facts: mainly that Anna hadn’t let her come home when she needed to, insisting that she "fix herself" on her own. That had marked a fundamental power shift in their relationship, with Lily losing all sense of equality. She couldn’t build a relationship with someone who unilaterally called the shots, and who had demonstrated that she wasn’t willing to work through their problems.

In her periphery, she saw a figure walking towards her, not just in her general direction but definitely on an intercept course. Lily’s stomach fluttered then sank as she found herself face to face with Anna Kaklis. Speak of the devil!

Even in the waning light, Anna saw the gamut of emotions in Lily’s eyes as recognition settled. There was apprehension, joy, anger, love–all but indifference, though it was clear that Lily was working hard to convey that now. Like a knife in the gut, Anna suddenly felt the fear of losing the one she loved.

"Lily." She wanted badly to reach out for a hug, but stopped herself. The green eyes definitely said no.

"Hello Anna." She fought it for a few seconds, but the urge was too powerful. Lily closed the distance between them and gestured for a hug. In moments, she was engulfed in long, loving arms.

"God, I’ve missed you," Anna murmured above the roar of the surf.

Lily was rapidly losing her resolve to keep her emotional distance as well. "I’ve missed you too," she confessed. It was true.

When they finally separated, Anna started, "Are you doing okay?"

"I’m good, Anna. Better every day." This is no time to go weak in the knees, she admonished herself. Lily steeled herself for the conversation she needed to have.

"Let’s go somewhere and talk. I want to hear everything." Anna turned them both back toward the street.

"Let’s just walk." The beach was Lily’s turf. She felt secure here. Turning back south toward the airport, the blonde pushed both of her hands in her pockets and stepped away a little, her body language saying ‘don’t get close.’ As they walked, she started her tale, beginning even with those hurts she’d dealt with before leaving home: her problems at work, running into Beverly, seeing Marga Alvarez through the death of her mother. It was important that Anna know how bad things had been so she would understand the depth of Lily’s hurt.

"Why didn’t you tell me these things, Lily?" Anna couldn’t believe her lover had kept all this hurt inside.

"You didn’t have time for them. You were too busy with work," she answered coldly.

The accusation stung for its bitter tone, but it didn’t ring true for Anna. She knew she would have made time for comforting her lover. She also knew that it wouldn’t have been enough. Still, if that was how Lily saw things, she’d have to work hard to overcome that.

Lily went on to describe her trip to San Jose with Sandy, relating how she’d found her natural mother. "When I realized that I had become a completely different person–thanks to Eleanor Stuart–I knew that door wasn’t open for my natural mother and me to have a relationship. With Mom gone, and with you pushing me away…" She chose those words to hurt the woman walking beside her. "I felt completely alone."

"You were never alone, Lily. I was always there. I never stopped loving you, not even for a moment." I love you right now more than I ever have!

"That may be how you see it, Anna, but it didn’t feel that way to me. Put yourself in my shoes. Your love had conditions. I had to go–what was it you said–‘work on myself’ so I’d be worthy of coming home." She couldn’t keep the resentment from her voice.

"It wasn’t like that, Lily."

"No? Let me tell you what it was like, Anna. I’ve been living in a goddamned motel room, eating out of vending machines. And walking everywhere I go. I don’t have all my clothes, my work things, none of my personal things. I’ve spent 28 days in a residential treatment center full of drunks. That house in Brentwood was my home too. You had no right to shut me out." She was practically shouting, her voice shaking with anger.

Anna weighed her lover’s words. Was she right? Had it been wrong for her to tell Lily that she couldn’t come home? I was the one who had the problem with her being there. "Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should have been the one to leave," she conceded.

"Or we could have worked on it together. Neither one of us had to leave. At the very least, we should have discussed it. But you made that decision all by yourself."

"Lily, you’re the one that left. I didn’t get a say in that. I came home from the hospital and you were gone."

"That’s right," the blonde retorted sarcastically. "Don’t forget to throw that night in my face."

"I’m not throwing anything in your face!" Anna caught herself shouting and struggled to calm down. "Lily, I talked to someone that night… a counselor. He told me that I needed to step back, that all I was doing was helping you drink, helping you hurt yourself."

"So you went behind my back to talk about my problems with somebody else!" Lily was past being rational. She’d made up her mind that Anna wasn’t going to say anything right.

"No, Lily. That night I talked to somebody about my problems, not yours."

"Of course. I should have known you’d see it as your problem. What an idiot I am! I threw Anna Kaklis’ universe out of balance."

"Goddamn it, Lily! Don’t you understand? It was my problem because you were hurting and I couldn’t help you. No matter what I did–coming home early, taking days off, spending time with you–it wasn’t enough to get you to stop drinking and start getting control of your life. I had to stop protecting you from the consequences of your behavior." Can’t you see what a difference it made? "And I had to stop pretending that it didn’t matter to me."

"Well I’d say you took care of your little problem then. Here I stand, Anna, sober now for 42 days. I promise not to cause you any more trouble."

Tears rushed to Anna’s eyes as she felt the force of her lover’s words. What could she say to make her understand that there was no other way? "If you’re sober now, that’s what matters. I knew it was a risk to pull away like that, but it was one I was willing to take. I wasn’t going to gamble on the alternative, Lily. No matter what happened between you and me, you needed help."

"I hope it was worth it to you, because what we had is gone. You weren’t there for me when I needed you, and I’ll never be able to trust you again." The finality of her own words brought a hard lump to her throat.

Anna stood quietly for a moment, absorbing the impact of Lily’s words. With nothing at all to lose, she added softly, "I did what I did because I loved you. So much that if I had it to do over again…” She took a deep breath. "… I’d do it exactly the same way." The tall woman straightened her shoulders and walked away, disappearing into the darkness.

Lily turned back toward the beach and sat down in the sand, folding her arms across her bent knees. What have I done? Recounting her own words, she realized with a panic that she had closed the book on Anna Kaklis. It occurred to her suddenly that if she managed not to have a drink tonight, she was home free.

*  *  *

It was a very bad week for the staff at Premier Motors. Even the affable Carmen had gotten her head handed to her when she joked about someone being grumpy. The boss had in fact been much grumpier than usual.

"Poor Chester," Holly consoled the dog. "You have to go home with the grouch." Holly wasn’t intimidated by her angry boss. She had kept Chester twice when Anna had gone overnight to Palm Springs, and was probably the only one at Premier who had figured out that Lily was gone. Even Hal didn’t know.

Anna looked up from her desk to see her sales manager scratching the hound’s upturned belly. "I can send him home with you if you’re worried about his well-being."

"You know I’ll take him if you need the space, Anna. Maybe you should head home and relax a little tonight." Her boss usually "relaxed" by covering herself with paperwork, triple-checking every detail, sometimes even finding problems where there were none.

Anna sighed and looked at the clock–half past seven. She had not slept well since her talk with Lily four days ago, so she’d given up trying and started her workday shortly after five in the morning. "Maybe you’re right. But poor Chester should have to come with me. He’s going to have to learn to take the bad with the good." And I don’t want to be home without him.

"Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, Anna." It was a simple offer of friendship.

"Thanks, Holly. I’m sure it’ll all work out." Other than her brief talks with George and Sandy, that was all she’d said to anyone about her situation at home.

"Are you sure you don’t want to talk about… whatever it is that’s got you on edge? You know I can keep a confidence, and it’s bound to help to get it all out."

Talking with others was not Anna’s modus operandi. It never really had been. But she couldn’t help but remember how talking with Lily about Scott while they were trapped underground had helped her reach the decision to end their marriage. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to Holly. "Okay. Would you mind closing the door? I’d hate to be the topic of discussion at the water cooler tomorrow."

"You already are," Holly jibed. "Only it’s all a great big mystery."

"Well as far as I’m concerned, it can stay that way." Anna quietly told Holly the gist of Lily’s tale, leaving out any details that might paint her lover in an unflattering light. "I went there the other night to tell her that I love her and that I want her to come home. I never even got a chance to say either of those things."

"Well then, you should call her."

"But she’s already said no to coming home, and from what she said about not trusting me anymore, I doubt seriously that she loves me either."

"So what? That shouldn’t keep you from telling her how you feel. Maybe she needs to know."

"You think I should call her?"

"No. I think you should go home first. You’re a wreck, boss. Relax and take this precious puppy for a walk." She reached down again to pet the adorable hound. "Then you should call her."

Maybe Holly was right. I should at least get my two cents in there.

Thirty minutes later, the car dealer was at home, reminding herself that eating dinner and walking Chester were not complementary tasks. Anna always got a kick out of Chester’s excitement each time she clipped on his leash and led him to the median of their street for his nightly romp. Thinking ahead to her call to Lily, Anna coaxed him impatiently; still the hound painstakingly identified each of the neighborhood dogs who had ‘gone’ before him and erased their mark. His trips to the median were merely status checks of these territorial signposts.

Now as relaxed as she was going to get, Anna looked at the clock and almost let herself off the hook for the night. It was after 10, and she told herself that Lily might be asleep already. Still, she knew she’d lose her nerve tomorrow, and Holly was right. She needed to tell Lily how she felt.

Dialing the Waterways Lodge on her cordless phone, she paced the bedroom anxiously. Just tell her. "I’d like to speak to Lilian Stuart, please."

"Hello." Anna could hear the TV in the background.

"Lily, it’s Anna. Listen, I’m sorry to bother you this late, but I left the other night before we really finished our talk. I apologize for that; just the heat of the moment I guess."

The blonde actually had fallen asleep and was startled first by the phone itself, then the realization that Anna Kaklis was on the line.

"Anyway, the reason I called was that I had two things I wanted to tell you that I never got around to saying. First is that I love you very much. And second is that I want you to come home."

Apparently, the dark-haired woman hadn’t been listening very well the other night. "Anna, I…"

"No, Lily. Those weren’t questions. They don’t need answers. That’s all I wanted to say."

The now wide awake blonde then found herself listening to a dial tone.

*  *  *

Back at Sandy and Suzanne’s on Saturday night after a full week out of the rehab center, Lily took stock of her progress. She’d done the required seven meetings in seven days, and made amends to Tony and the law clinic staff. On Thursday, she’d had the pleasure of appearing–as an attorney–in Judge Anston’s court, entering a not guilty plea for a client charged with resisting arrest. The judge had been pleased to see her; she could tell by the way he had said "good morning, counselor" before scolding her to wait for his question before answering.

"Have you talked to Anna this week?" Sandy asked.

"Yeah." Lily’s shoulders slumped. "She came by the motel on Monday night. I didn’t even know she knew where I was. Imagine that," she said suspiciously.

Sandy wouldn’t rise to the bait. "So how did it go?"

Lily groaned. "She asked me to come home."

Sandy and Suzanne exchanged looks, and Suzanne spoke. "So what are you doing still at the Waterways Lodge?"

"I can’t go back home," Lily sighed. "I’m going to have to start looking for a place to live."

Sandy didn’t like this at all. What was going one here? "What do you mean you can’t go back home? Why not?"

"What would be the point, Sandy? Anna wasn’t there when I needed her. She didn’t help me at all through this. What mattered to her was that goddamned dealership, and I shouldn’t have had to take a back seat to it. I was interfering with her work," she sneered. Now on a roll, she continued. "It didn’t matter to her that my mother had died, that I had my own problems at work, or even that I couldn’t drive myself anywhere. Basically she just said ‘Tough shit, Lily. Hit the road and come back when you’re all better.’ Why should I go back home to that? What if she decided one day that I ought to practice corporate law? Or that I should give up my friends because they aren’t fancy enough for her? I want a partner, not a boss."

Sandy couldn’t hold her tongue. She’d always liked Anna, and now she had a newfound respect for the woman’s strength. "You’re wrong about her. Lily. She was there for you all along, whether you knew it or not."

The blonde looked up, her eyes full of doubt. "Sandy, I begged her to let me come home. I promised to talk to somebody, to get some help with my depression about Mom. But she still said no."

"What exactly did she say, Lily?" Sandy knew she would have to lead Lily to the answers here, as Lily wasn’t seeing it on her own. She definitely noticed that Lily still hadn’t acknowledged a drinking problem.

"I asked her if I could come home, and she said she didn’t think that was a good idea. She said she didn’t want to be with me if I was going to drink. But then when I promised I wouldn’t, that wasn’t enough, so I have a little trouble believing it was ever about that. I think it was more about my not being the low-maintenance, happy girlfriend she wanted. But the real kicker was when she said I was making her feel guilty about working so much. That’s what it was really about." Lily was getting steamed at the retelling of the story, strengthening her resolve to end things with the beautiful woman who had let her down.

To her surprise, Sandy laughed and shook her head. "No, Lily. You’re missing everything here. You may not want to believe it, but it was always about your drinking; nothing else. Anna Kaklis never gave up on you, and she never turned her back on you."

"How can you be so sure of that?" In her heart, Lily harbored a wish that what her friend said was true, but she couldn’t see how.

Sandy eyed her friend silently for a long moment, contemplating whether to tell what she knew or to keep Anna’s confidence. Lily needed to know, she decided. "Lily, I don’t want you to get angry with Suzanne and me when I tell you this. We’re your friends and we want what’s best for you. Sometimes that means deciding what’s best for you when you can’t do that for yourself. And just so you know, Anna is that kind of friend too."

The blonde woman was already stiffening at the idea she had been manipulated. "So what are you saying, Sandy?"

"I’m saying that I’ve been in touch with Anna pretty much ever since the night we got back from San Jose. She came here frantic because your car wasn’t at the lodge anymore. She knew where you were almost from the beginning."

Lily couldn’t believe it. All that time hiding out and Anna had known all along. "She was watching me all that time?"

"Yep."

Lily suddenly remembered the glimpse of the car she’d seen just before she entered the treatment center. "But why would she just watch me? Why wouldn’t she try to talk to me?"

"Well it so happens that when she came by here looking for you, I gave her hell for not helping you, and she told me that she’d talked with a counselor at the hospital who told her that she had to walk away from you, or that everything would only get worse. She didn’t want to do it at first, but he convinced her–listen to me, Lily, this is important–he convinced her that you were in a lot of trouble. She didn’t want to abandon you, but he made her see that your relationship didn’t matter at all if you didn’t survive the spiral you were in. It may be hard for you to wrap your head around this, Lily, but what Anna did took more love than you can imagine."

"She could have told me that, Sandy."

"She did tell you that. But she told you in a way that made you do something about it. It made you take responsibility for your own actions." Lily was silent, but Sandy could see that her words were having an effect. "Lily, I’ve worked with alcoholics before. What she said was absolutely right. You needed to face the consequences."

"Maybe so," she conceded, "but I shouldn’t have had to face them by myself."

Sandy dreaded telling Lily the next part. "She was ready to find you and take you home that day, but I stopped her. You were about to enter the treatment center and I was worried you’d change your mind."

Lily couldn’t believe Sandy had kept this from her. "Why didn’t you tell me this? Do you have any idea how much it hurt me to think that she just disappeared!" She couldn’t stop the tears.

The social worker knew she was in trouble with her friend. Her explanation needed to be a good one. She reached out to put a hand on Lily’s arm, but the blonde woman pulled it away. "Lily, I’m sorry that I kept things from you. But you’d already made up your mind that you were going to get help, and you were doing it for yourself, not for Anna. And that’s the way it needed to be. Can you honestly say you’d have gone into Redwood Hills if you could have gone home instead?"

The answer to that question was obvious to everyone.

CHAPTER 14

L ILY WALKED THE bike out of the storage closet they were letting her use at the Waterways Lodge. It was an expensive mountain bike, and Suzanne had bought it at the urging of a friend who regularly rode the steep trails of the San Gabriel Mountains. Suzanne had ridden it three times on the street in front of their home, the last occasion over two years ago.

It had been a thought-filled week for Lily, first as she turned over in her head the things Sandy had told her a week ago about Anna. Lily now found herself deeply conflicted. She still harbored resentment over what she saw as a power play on Anna’s part and her own subsequent feelings of abandonment, but the events that Sandy described were a plausible explanation for her lover’s behavior. In fact, when she tried to see things from Anna’s point of view, things made more sense. The clandestine watchful eye and now the open plea to return home were all consistent with the woman she loved, while the one who had selfishly resisted her coming home was a stranger.

Besides the revelations from her friends, Lily found even more reasons to re-examine what she wanted with Anna from her AA program. Lily was still attending meetings at the Methodist church. Only 47 more to go. Once she’d honored her commitment, she’d set her schedule according to her own needs, attending meetings only when she felt she needed support.

At Tuesday’s meeting, they had spoken of amends. In those clear moments when she was honest with herself, Lily knew that she had wronged her lover with her drinking, and needed to make amends. Anna would forgive her, she was certain, but that wasn’t enough. She needed to make up for the hurt, for the disappointment, the betrayal, and the blame. No matter where their relationship was headed, Lily knew they needed to reconnect in order to set things right.

An early morning call to her lover went to voicemail, so Lily dialed the BMW dealership, only to learn that the car dealer had gone to Detroit for an auto show. She was due back on Monday night, Carmen had said. Lily had no idea of Carmen’s epiphany at realizing what was amiss with her boss.

Lily resolved that she would call her lover in a few days to talk again, but here on Sunday afternoon she found herself pedaling mindlessly toward the Spanish-style house in Brentwood that had been her home for almost a year. She had a right to be there, she told herself. Many of her things were still there; there was her mail, which she hadn’t collected in almost three months; there was her jewelry and heirlooms.

Lily pulled the bike around back, parking it inside the gate next to the garage. The pool was sparkling, a sign that the pool service had been by in the last couple of days, and the landscaping was freshly clipped and groomed. The blonde dug out her key and walked back out to the side door, where she entered the house through the family room.

Lily was surprised by the strong emotional response she had to being inside the house. Something in the house told her that this was where she really lived; where she belonged.

The home was full of messages about how Anna had lived her life over these past few weeks. The table next to the couch was stacked high with Car & Driver–someone was behind in their reading. It appeared as though Anna had only used the office to collect Lily’s mail. A quick perusal through the box on the desk told her there were no unpaid bills; apparently, Anna had taken care of them, just as she had after the funeral.

Uneasily, Lily mounted the stairs to the master bedroom suite. Oddly, she felt a bit like a trespasser, even a voyeur looking in on Anna’s private life. Their room was unchanged from when she’d left, neat and clean from the housekeeper’s recent visit. She couldn’t help but smile as her eyes came upon the framed picture on the nightstand, the one from Yosemite. Lily was touched by the fact that Anna had brought the photo up from the family room to her bedside. What lay beside the photo moved her profoundly: a book she recognized from the library at Redwood Hills called Loving Gary, the story of a woman who had guided her husband into recovery after years of alcohol abuse, and how their love had flourished from the shared ordeal.

*  *  *

The last five days hadn’t been the respite Anna had sought from the worry and sadness that were now her constant companions. The annual event in Detroit was one of the highlights of the year for auto dealers, especially those like Anna who were as fascinated by the cars as they were with the business of selling them. But this year, not even the most stunning innovations in automotive engineering had held her interest. Instead, she found herself imagining the emptiness of a life without the beautiful blonde that completely owned her heart. She wondered what Lily was doing this week; if she had found a place to live. Soon she would come back to the house to claim her belongings, and Anna was pretty sure she didn’t want to be there when that happened.

"Would you like something to drink before we land?" The handsome and wonderfully gay flight attendant in the first-class cabin had been reluctant to disturb the somber woman, so absorbed in her worries that she had barely touched her dinner.

"No, thank you." She turned back to the window, searching the fading red desert below for signs of civilization. They would be in LA soon.

Bored with the auto show and preoccupied with thoughts of her lover, Anna had changed her travel plans to return a day before schedule. She smiled to herself as she acknowledged her penchant for coming home early, mostly engineered to surprise her lover. There would be no reward waiting this time.

At least there was Chester. She planned to call as soon as they landed to ask Holly to bring him to the house. It would be a very long night indeed without the pooch to keep her company.

*  *  *

Distracted by almost three months worth of mail, Lily lost track of time, realizing with irritation that she would be riding back to the lodge in the darkness. She considered leaving Anna a note, but worried that it might make the woman uneasy to realize that she’d been here without asking first. She’d let her know when they talked. Stashing a couple of cards she’d gotten from her mother’s friends into her small backpack, she headed out the side door, then through the gate to retrieve her bike.

Again in the back yard, Lily was overwhelmed with homesickness as she looked first at the pool then at the hot tub, where she and Anna spent many relaxing evenings, not to mention many… romantic moments.

It suddenly occurred to Lily that she didn’t actually have to go home tonight. Anna wasn’t due home until tomorrow night, and with her part-time work schedule, the attorney wasn’t due in the office until afternoon anyway. I could sleep on the couch, she reasoned, not really feeling comfortable making herself completely at home.

Letting herself back into the house, Lily went into the bathroom off the family room, depositing her backpack and trading her clothes for one of the guest towels. The back yard was dark and mostly private, visible only to any neighbor who was nosy enough to pierce the dense hedge that grew five feet above the half wall surrounding the property.

Wrapped only in her towel, the naked blonde waited in a nearby chair at the far end of the pool while the water in the hot tub was heated to her liking. When the steam started to rise, she slipped into the tub, rolling the towel to tuck behind her neck. She couldn’t help but call up those memories of the last time she was out here. It was the night she and Anna had gotten home from Yosemite. Their time together that weekend with Carolyn and Vicki–hmmm, wonder if they’re pregnant–had been special. It was one of the last occasions she could remember being happy.

The churning water was soothing, the lull of the pump relaxing. Still, it wasn’t wise to stay in the hot tub for more than 20 or 30 minutes at a time, and Lily was pushing that now. Stretching out, she threw the on-off levers for the heater and pump that were mounted discreetly under a nearby bush.

Out of nowhere, headlights appeared in the driveway, freezing the blonde in place, half in, half out of the circular tub. Who the hell…?

"Go ahead, Ms. Kaklis. I’ll bring your bag in," the businesslike tone indicating that this was a chauffer.

Fuck! Anna’s home! Fuck! Lily was too surprised to move, and not sure where she would go if she did. She couldn’t just waltz through the back door naked.

"Thank you, Henry."

Yep, that was definitely Anna. Fuck! Lily saw the light go on in the family room. She had intentionally turned out all but one light in the kitchen so as not to illuminate the patio. She could barely make out the figure through the French doors; Anna seemed to be fussing with her suitcase.

But the naked woman’s misery was incomplete. No sooner had the limo left than a second car appeared, this one parking next to the garage and turning off the lights.

"Come on, boy. Let’s go see mommy!" The woman’s voice was familiar, but Lily couldn’t place it. Whoever it was had obviously kept Chester while Anna was gone.

"There’s my boy!" It was Anna’s voice again at the side door. "Hey fella!"

"I’d say he missed you."

"I missed him too. Thanks for bringing him tonight, Holly. Come on in."

Holly Martin, the sales manager at the BMW place. Lily knew that Anna thought a lot of Holly’s work, but she had no idea that they were friends. With a panic, Lily wondered if they were more than friends.

Holly followed Chester into the kitchen, where he checked to see if anyone had thought to leave him a snack. Anna came in behind them and lifted the panel on the dog door so the hound could go check to see if another creature had invaded his territory while he was gone.

The tired traveler would certainly have noticed the unlocked deadbolt on the French doors leading to the patio, but Holly paid it no mind, assuming that Anna had already been through the house. "Look at him go. I wonder if he’ll find anything interesting," Holly said.

Oh fucking hell! They’re coming outside! Lily slid low into the hot tub, peering toward the house where she could make out two women now sitting at the umbrella table. The night was pretty warm for late October, so who knew how long they’d sit and talk. Fuck!

Lily was startled by the sudden arrival of Chester, who was thrilled to see his other mother in the hot tub. "Rrrrrrarf! Rrarf!" Fucking hell!

"Wonder what he’s found," asked Holly, standing up.

"No telling. Probably some rodent that will come running over here to be saved. Chester! Come here!"

Chester bounded back to his main mistress, the one who took him for rides in the convertible so that his ears flapped.

There was indeed a god, Lily was sure.

"I should be going. Are you going to come in tomorrow, or should I pretend I haven’t seen you?"

"Hmmm… Let’s play it by ear. If I don’t come in, you didn’t see me."

"It’s a deal. Welcome home, boss. So long, Chester." Holly patted the dog’s head and walked out through the back gate.

Lily relaxed for a moment, still not knowing how she was going to get into the house to retrieve her clothes. Even if Anna went back inside, she’d have to wait until both the woman and dog were asleep upstairs. To both her dismay and delight, her strategizing was interrupted when the beautiful woman stood and in one fluid motion, peeled her shirt over her head. Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck! She’s coming into the hot tub!

But she wasn’t. Anna completely disrobed, and then stepped slowly into the shallow end of the heated pool. Lily craned her neck to watch as the shapely form disappeared inch by inch beneath the surface. Sliding slowly around the rim of the hot tub, she positioned herself where she could watch with a low risk of being seen.

What a gorgeous woman! Lily was mesmerized by the sight of her once-lover gliding through the water. Sometimes they would swim together late at night, or even play and tease one another in the water until things turned suddenly serious. More than anything, Lily wished tonight was one of those nights. Just as she was getting up her nerve to boldly slip over the small waterfall that divided the pool from the hot tub, Anna stood at the shallow end and stepped out of the water. What a magnificent sight!

The tall woman–the tall naked woman–gathered up her clothing and walked back toward the house. "Come on, boy. Let’s go to bed." Chester padded eagerly alongside to the kitchen door.

Oh shit! Oh no! Oh shit! I am so fucked! Lily’s house key was in her backpack, inside the now locked house. Gradually, the lights downstairs gave way to those in the master suite. The now very pruned blonde climbed out of the hot tub, retrieving her towel from underneath the bush where she’d thrown it earlier. Tiptoeing to the house, she verified that the kitchen door was indeed bolted, as was the French door leading to the family room.

On the off chance that Anna had left the side door open, Lily slipped outside the gate into the driveway. To her horror, the motion detector on the porch light illuminated her presence for the neighbors or anyone who might be driving down the street. Lily didn’t care though, so long as Anna didn’t happen to look out her window at that moment. Fuck! That door was locked too.

Returning to the back yard, Lily weighed her options. She could start pounding on the door, but then she’d have to explain what she was doing out there without her clothes. And worse, she’d be hard pressed to come up with a good reason for not announcing herself earlier.

The kitchen window was a possibility. Anna usually left it cracked to allow the fresh air in. Lily slinked around the side of the house to test her theory. Shit! The place was Fort Knox! The kitchen windows were the only ones on that side, and there were none in the back of the house. Her only other options were the windows along the well-lit driveway or those in the front yard. Fuck! Out of choices, Lily started toward the front of the house.

Wait a minute! There along the ground was exactly what she needed: Chester’s doggie door! Lily stooped down to feel the opening. Anna had left the panel open so the dog could go in and out at night. It was small, but then so was she.

Tucking the towel in front so that it was tightly wrapped, Lily kneeled down and poked her head through the opening. The house was completely dark downstairs, and she could barely make out the sound of the hair dryer running in the master bath. Perfect!

She tried next to get her shoulders through, but it was too tight. Backing out, she started through again with her arms straight ahead. The door was taller than it was wide, so she turned on her side to make it easier. Pushing with her feet, Lily made slow progress. The towel was part of the problem, bunching up and creating a logjam just underneath her shoulders. Again, she backed out.

Pulling off the towel and shoving it through the hole, Lily started again. Arms first, then head, then shoulders… once she got both shoulders all the way through, she would be home free.

"Grrrrrrr! Rrrraaaarff! Rrrraarrff!"

Fuck me! Could this night get any more bizarre?

Chester was upset at first, but calmed immediately when he recognized the woman who used to sneak him food from the table. Still, he was perplexed at the idea of someone coming in through his door. It was exclusively for the four-legged people such as himself; the two-legged people always used the other doors. Always.

Lily’s heart stopped about the same time as the hair dryer.

"Chester!" Anna called from upstairs.

Fuck! Oh fuck! Lily squirmed, not sure whether to go forward or backward. Not that it mattered. She couldn’t seem to move either way.

"Rrrarff! Rrraarrf!" It was that unwritten rule again. When they’re on the floor, it’s play time.

"Chester!" Anna remembered the panel on the doggie door. The installer had told her that it was a good idea to close it at night, just in case any raccoons or stray pets wandered up. She could hear the struggle in the kitchen. Whatever it was, Chester obviously had it cornered. Filled with apprehension, Anna grabbed her robe and headed back down the stairs. From the hall closet between the kitchen and family room, the tall woman retrieved a broom. Shaking with anticipation, she reached for the light switch.

Nothing on earth could have prepared her for the sight that greeted her. Chester was sitting in the middle of the floor, wagging his tail with glee, barking excitedly at half of a naked red-faced Lily Stuart.

Oh. My. God. "This isn’t what it looks like," the woman on the floor quickly explained.

For the life of her, Anna couldn’t imagine what it was if it wasn’t what it looked like. "It looks like you’re crawling in the doggie door naked." She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t laughing. She was simply flabbergasted.

"Well, see? That’s exactly what I mean. I am not crawling in the doggie door. I’m actually stuck in the goddamned doggie door, so I’m not crawling anywhere." Lily knew her face was beet red. If this were a 10 on the Humiliation Scale, she probably never had anything else higher than a two.

"And the naked part?"

"Well… that is actually what it looks like." Lily stretched out for the towel to cover herself. "I can sort of explain all this."

"Should I go get a chair?" She couldn’t help herself. Whatever explanation there could possibly be for Lily crawling naked through the doggie door would be forgotten someday, but this image was forever.

"Very funny. Do you think you could trouble yourself to pull me out of here?"

Anna thought about it for a second or two. If she pulled the naked woman all the way through, she’d wrap up in the towel, tell her story, then presumably get dressed and leave. At least this way she was captive. On the other hand, there was probably a naked butt on the other side of that door that Anna wanted to see, and soon. "Well since you asked so nicely," she exaggerated the sarcasm for its comic effect, "do you wish to be pulled into the house, or out of the house?"

Lily squirmed a little to gauge her stuck-edness. "In, I think."

Yes! Here comes the butt! Anna reached down and took hold of Lily’s forearms and pulled her gently until she finally cleared the opening. Her left side was scraped a little from the door’s edge, but she was otherwise no worse for the wear.

Quickly Lily stood and wrapped the towel tightly around herself. "Thanks." Still red in the face, she started for the family room so she could put on her clothes.

"Oh no you don’t! I get an explanation now." This was going to be very interesting.

The blonde woman sighed deeply and leaned against the kitchen counter. "I tried to call you last week, but you were gone to Detroit. They told me you would be back on Monday, but I should have known that meant Sunday to you. It always does." Lily couldn’t suppress a small smile; she knew the woman well. "Anyway, I came by this afternoon on my bike. This is the first time I’ve been here, I swear."

Anna nodded her understanding. So she’d called last week. "Go ahead."

"So I went through my mail and it got late. I thought about going home, but it meant riding my bike in the dark, and that’s not exactly the safest thing in the world. So I decided to stay the night. I was going to leave you a note or call or something to tell you I’d been by. I’ve been wanting to talk to you again anyway."

She was planning to get in touch again. And she doesn’t seem to be angry anymore.

"Anyway, I was out in the hot tub when you got home. I started to come in when I saw it was you, but then Holly got here. So I stayed down low in the tub waiting for her to leave."

"And then I went swimming."

"And then you went swimming," Lily conceded, looking away guiltily.

"So why didn’t you join me then?" She took a step toward the nervous blonde.

"I… I thought about it. But I didn’t want to scare you. When you came back in, I just wanted to get my clothes and get out of here. But you locked all the doors."

"I always lock all the doors when I go to bed, Lily. Why didn’t you just knock?" Another step closer.

"I was sort of hoping I could get away without having you know I was here," she admitted. "I didn’t really want to have to explain why I hid. I’m not really sure why…" Anna was coming toward her and her stomach had started to flutter.

Now close enough to share a breath, the tall beauty whispered, "If you had gone, you would have missed this." The hungry lips closed over those of the blonde woman, and the long arms wrapped around the waist and pulled her tight. This kiss had to say everything, as Anna wasn’t sure she’d ever get another chance. Slowly, she slid her mouth against Lily’s, pressing with her tongue for entry.

Lily was lost. For this moment, there was nothing else in the universe other than what was going on where their mouths were joined. Parting her lips, she took in the probing tongue which began to dance with her own. Anna Kaklis was kissing her!

We’re kissing! She’s kissing me back! Anna’s own heart was racing as she excitedly noted that Lily was not resisting her. But in spite of the seeming acceptance, she feared the blonde woman would suddenly push her away, still angry about all that had transpired between them. Her body language still said hesitant: she had not stepped closer and her arms hung loosely at her sides.

When their kiss finally broke, Anna ran her hands lovingly across Lily’s back. Only then did she feel the smaller woman return the gesture, lifting her hands to rest on Anna’s sides. It was a start.

Resting her cheek against the blonde hair, Anna struggled for the right words to ease her lover’s pain over their time apart. "I’m so sorry I hurt you, Lily. I only did what I thought was best. Please forgive me and come home."

A long moment–a really long moment–passed before Lily gave a hint of her response. She dropped her hands from the robed waist, only to tug at the terrycloth ties that held the garment closed. In no time, the robe fell open and Lily released the tuck that held her towel in place, letting it drop to the floor.

Anna answered by pulling her lover inside the robe, wrapping it around both of them as they burrowed naked underneath. Heart to heart, they reveled in the sensations of warmth and belonging. For Anna, it was a return to stasis, that place where all her world was balanced. The familiar stillness crept over her as her mind slowly emptied of the turmoil that had plagued her for months.

For Lily, it was balm for her broken soul. This was all she really needed in the world. "I love you, Anna."

"I love you too," the tall woman murmured. For the longest time, they simply stood together, awash in the familiar feelings.

"Show me," Lily asked, almost shyly.

Anna turned out the light and led her lover through the darkened house to the master suite upstairs. The robe fell to the floor as the women moved to the bed, already turned down by Anna when she’d come upstairs earlier.

Unlike most of the times when they made love, there was no battle for the top. Tonight, Lily needed to feel her lover’s hands and mouth, needed to be held, needed desperately to hear the sweet words from Anna that would connect them at a higher plane. She lay back against the pillows and pulled her lover on top, staring intently into the blue eyes darkened with desire.

Anna lowered her body against the smaller form, brushing her breasts across Lily’s as her hips pressed into the top of the thigh that had risen to meet her. Supporting herself on her left forearm, her right hand began a path of feather light touches across her lover’s cheeks, chin and mouth. Anna’s lips soon followed her fingertips on their route. The trail then moved to the slender neck and across the prominent collarbones, again with the soft lips in pursuit.

"You belong here, Lily. Right here in my arms." Anna kissed the parted lips as her hand drifted lower to softly circle a hardened nipple.

Lily’s eyes shot open at the sensation and met again the intense azure gaze of her beautiful lover. Her arms could reach only as far as the curved waist, but she pulled the woman higher.

Anna complied; bending at the waist to bring her hips toward Lily’s outstretched hands. Shifting forward, her own breasts were almost even with her lover’s face.

That was too much for Lily to resist, and she raised her head to take a full breast into her mouth. Her hands stroked the smooth curves of Anna’s hips and thighs, while her teeth teased the taut nipple.

Anna closed her eyes to concentrate on her body’s sublime reaction. When she recognized only her own arousal, she pulled away. Tonight wasn’t simply for pleasure. It was about connection, retracing the familiar path to Lily’s body and soul. She lowered herself out of reach of the searching lips, only to place her own once again over the waiting mouth. Her hand reached lower, trailing through the soft curls at the apex of her lover’s thighs. With her fingertips pressed against the inside of a soft thigh, she gently urged Lily to open herself. Anna slipped into the wetness, breaking their prolonged kiss to gasp with pleasure.

Lily fought for breath, shuddering as she drew air deeply into her lungs. If Anna didn’t enter her soon, she would die.

As if reading her thoughts, two long fingers probed gently for entry, then spread apart as they were pushed inside. Both women opened their eyes again, reading the deep connection as an unbreakable bond. "Oh god, Lily. You feel so good inside. I want this to be mine."

Lily could only nod, feeling the searing heat begin to build deep within as her lover stroked rhythmically in and out. With each steady thrust, it grew larger, reaching forth from her center. She tried hard to focus on the piercing blue eyes, but she was rapidly losing all control of her senses. Tears came from nowhere to overwhelm her as she exploded in her lover’s arms. "Yes! Oh God Anna…"

"That’s it, baby. I can feel you coming… so deep." Tears now poured also down Anna’s cheeks, her own body climaxing as she rocked her center against the woman beneath her.

Falling together, they hugged desperately as each woman sobbed her emotional release, their connection at this moment the strongest it had ever been. There had been many times over the last three months when they thought they would never share this closeness again.

"I almost lost you," Lily choked.

"No, baby. I never left you. And I never will."

Lily loved it when Anna called her baby.

EPILOGUE

"L ILY? SWEETHEART, WAKE up."

"Mmmm… vacation."

"Come on, honey. Let’s go watch the sun come up."

The blonde head burrowed against the pillow, willing the persistent voice away.

"Sweetheart, you promised."

Lily groaned. "Not fair…" Anna had extracted the promise during a critical moment in their lovemaking last night.

"Come on, Lily. It’s our last day here," she pleaded.

Very reluctantly, Lily pushed herself up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Anna was there with baggy shorts and a pullover shirt. "I hope you appreciate how difficult this is for me, Amazon."

"I do, Pygmy. I appreciate everything about you." She helped Lily get the shirt over her head. "Ready?"

Lily fell back on the bed, but Anna grabbed her wrists and pulled her to a wobbly standing position. "Okay, okay." The sleepy woman fell in behind her lover, shuffling her feet as they walked to the door.

"Do you want your sandals?"

Lily shook her head. She had resigned herself to open one eye slightly so as not to trip over anything. She closed it to a mere slit when they stepped into the brightly lit hallway. Anna led them down the hall to the stairway, and two flights down they emerged onto a path that ran directly to the beach.

The sky was getting its first light, sunrise only about 15 minutes away. When they reached the end of the path, Anna dragged a lounge chair to a secluded spot just beyond the palms that lined the beach. Leaning against the back, she opened her legs for her lover to lie back against her. Lily did so immediately, and closed her eyes in slumber as Anna wrapped her long arms around her middle.

"Lily? Do you know what today is?"

It was still mostly dark, which meant to Lily that it wasn’t day at all. "Is this a trick question?"

"No. I’ll give you a hint. It’s February 6th. Do you remember what happened on February 6th?"

Against her will, Lily was slowly waking up. "The earthquake," she said somberly.

"That’s right. Three years ago today," Anna reminded her.

Lily smiled softly and squeezed her lover’s hands. "And the day we met."

Anna pulled a hand free to retrieve something from her pocket. "It’s a very special day to me, sweetheart. I want us to remember it always."

Lily felt something sliding against the ring finger on her left hand. As she opened her eyes, the sight nearly stole her breath. In the glint of the sunrise, she saw the Cartier tri-colored twist that adorned her finger. Of course, she didn’t know it was a Cartier; only that it was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. And Anna Kaklis had just put it there!

"Lily, I want you to wear this so that you’ll always remember the promises I’m about to make." Anna sat up straight and leaned over the smaller woman’s shoulder. "Lily Stuart, I promise to be there for you always, whatever you may need. I promise to put my love for you in front of everything else in my life. And I promise that my heart will always be your home."

Lily’s unbelieving smile took up her whole face. Anna Kaklis had just committed to her forever.

"And I promise not to let even the most appealing automotive designs distract me from your blinding beauty."

Lily laughed with delight. Anna always had to be Anna.

"And I promise to never, ever tell my father the story about you and the doggie door."

Now fully awake, the grinning blonde pulled her feet up and turned around in the chair to face her partner. Scooting closer, she draped her legs off the sides of the chair so that she was now straddling Anna’s lap. "You have no idea what this means to me." Suddenly serious, she looked directly into the smiling blue eyes, now sparkling as the sun peeked slowly over the horizon. "Anna, until this very moment, Mom was the only one who ever said she’d always be there for me. I can’t tell you how much I treasure what you’ve promised me today."

Anna answered with a deep kiss that for her sealed their future.

"Will you wear a ring from me?" Lily asked hopefully. Anna seldom wore jewelry other than earrings and her Rolex wristwatch.

"I would love to wear your ring."

"What kind of ring would you want?"

"I’ll wear whatever you like. It’s a gift from you; it should say you."

Some people thought matching rings were kind of hokey, but Lily had always dreamed of a shared symbol. "How would you feel about wearing one just like this one?"

"I think that would be perfect. In fact, I sort of hoped you’d say that. Now I won’t have to take this one back." Anna reached again into her pocket, extracting an identical twisted band and placing it in her partner’s hand.

"You are sooooo good."

Yeah, I know.

Lily held the ring alongside her own, confirming that they were exactly the same. "I haven’t practiced any words, but I know what I’ve dreamed of saying to you since the first time I realized I was in love with you."

Taking Anna’s left hand in her own trembling hands, she slipped the band onto the long slender finger. "Anna Kaklis, I promise to love you always, and to support you in everything you do. I promise to accept all of you, and to work through everything that life throws at us, just to be with you. I promise to do my best to never let you down." Both women understood that coded reference to Lily’s struggle with alcohol.

Anna looked at their hands together. We’re married.

"And I promise to change the oil every 3,000 miles, no matter what."

Anna chuckled. She had asked for that.

"And you know that picture I took of you in the bathtub when Chester jumped in? I promise not to put that one on our Christmas cards."

*  *  *

Binders Books now occupied space on the brand new single level east wing of the Endicott Mall. At 12:02 p.m., Skye Steinberg announced to her customers that it was time to step out of the store and into the concourse. Having seen the posters throughout the mall today, everyone expected this pause in their shopping day.

The mall’s public address system was wired to a receiver at the nearby Presbyterian Church, where at 12:04 the church’s colossal bell rang 27 times, once each for every person who lost their life at the mall three years ago in the Culver City Quake.

A moment of silence followed as Skye remembered the beautiful dark-haired woman who had visited their store that day. Anna was her name, she learned, and she had stopped by the mall a month ago to say hello and check out the new store. She was with a blonde woman, whom she introduced as the only other trapped survivor of that day’s devastation. The two women were clearly in love.

Seven thousand miles away in Fiji, the two survivors shared a lounge chair as they silently watched the beach come to life. The year behind them had been personally devastating, especially for Lily, but somehow they had found their way home. Today, their hearts had opened wide for the comfort and security only a lifetime commitment could bring.

THE END

STRAINED

© 2002

DISCLAIMERS

Disclaimer #1: These characters are of my own creation, but if you want to imagine that they look like certain familiar people, I won’t mess with that.

Disclaimer #2: This story is about two women in love, and all that goes with it. If you find that idea offensive, if you aren’t old enough, or if you live where reading such depictions is not allowed, this isn’t for you.

Disclaimer #3: [Insert favorite other disclaimer here.] Angst-meter very low for this story.

This is the third story in my series with Anna and Lily, the first being Shaken, followed by Stirred. FYI, I worked my way through college as a bartender.

Thanks to my trusted beta reader and fashion consultant, Tami, and to LA Tucker, who also gave it a read. Their contributions made it a better story. Of course, if you don’t like it, it was probably because of something they made me change.

   KG MacGregor
   kgmacgregor@aol.com

This is for my Sweetcakes, who helps me with my grammar and spelling.

Without her, I don’t think I could write about love at all.

STRAINED

CHAPTER 1

"I ’M SO EXCITED about seeing Sarah."

"Shhhh! I love this part! Listen."

Anna Kaklis rolled her eyes indulgently and leaned back into her seat. Her partner was very possibly the only flyer in America who actually paid attention to the safety messages before takeoff.

“…in the unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used…” the flight attendant droned.

"Just what exactly is a ‘water landing’? I mean–by definition–doesn’t a landing have to involve land?"

Anna chuckled. She’d heard it all before, but it never stopped being funny. In fact, even the anticipation of what Lily would say started her giggling. "Maybe it’s–"

"Wait, there’s more." The blonde woman held up her index finger to shush her again.

“…seatbelt fastened while in your seat, as unexpected turbulence may occur at any time."

"Isn’t that what makes it unexpected?" Lily mused.

"I think they mean–"

"Shhh! Here’s my favorite part!"

“…place the mask over your face, tightening the straps by pulling on the tabs on each side…”

“…and continue to breathe normally," Lily mouthed in unison with the rote instructions. "Like I normally breathe bottled oxygen from a dangling plastic cup in a decompressed cabin at 30,000 feet!"

Anna just shook her head. She’d been flying regularly since she was 11 years old, and had never once questioned the presentation of the safety drill. "Are you through?"

"Well… I am if she is," the blonde answered, gesturing toward the flight attendant. "But I can’t make any promises if she starts talking again."

Said flight attendant interrupted the two women to get their drink order and to explain their choices for breakfast entrees. One of the perks of being Anna Kaklis’ sweetheart was that they usually rode in first class, a real treat for the young attorney. This morning, the guys in the back got a cold green banana and a soggy cellophane-wrapped muffin.

"Carolyn said she might change her mind about having a baby herself after seeing what Vicki went through. She said she fully expected Vicki’s head to turn all the way around on her shoulders in the delivery room," Anna laughed.

"But she was healthy the whole way through, wasn’t she?"

"Oh yeah. But apparently, she was miserable the last couple of weeks. Carolyn said she gained a lot of weight and wouldn’t go out of the house. I think the actual birth was relatively smooth, but she was in labor a long time."

"It’ll be good to see them again." Lily’s thoughts went to their last meeting, the camping trip to Yosemite almost a year ago. So much had happened since then: she had lost her mother; she and Anna had parted briefly while she struggled with her drinking; and three months ago they had committed their lives and love to one another on a beach in Fiji. "I can’t believe they asked us up to Seattle so soon after the baby was born."

Anna laughed knowingly. "I think Carolyn used us as an excuse to force Vicki’s mother to go back to New Jersey. She sounded desperate when she called."

"Well I don’t care why she asked us. I can’t wait to see Sarah."

Two and a half hours later, the 737 broke through Seattle’s cloud cover. Since they’d packed together in a single roll-on, the pair bypassed baggage claim in search of their friend.

"Anna! Lily!" Carolyn worked her way through the crowd to her friends. The tall redhead–no, her curly hair was a dark brown this time with blonde tips–smiled and waved excitedly.

"Carolyn!" They greeted one another hugging and rocking like the old friends they were. The Seattle programmer didn’t do anything halfway. "We’re so excited for you and Vicki!"

"Thanks! I can’t wait for you to see Sarah. She’s gorgeous, just like her mom." Carolyn was beaming from ear to ear with pride. "Is this all your stuff?" She gestured at the rollerboard.

"We’re only here one night, you know. I sort of forced Lily to decide before we left home what she was going to wear." Anna teased Lily about her penchant of trying on 10 different things before finally getting dressed.

"Can I help it that I have a dynamic fashion sense?" Lily stuck out her tongue and turned toward their host. "So how are you guys adjusting to having a baby in the house?"

"I’d say it’s been very eye opening. In fact, we have to open our eyes around one a.m., then again around 4:30 a.m. I’m not complaining, mind you. But I really had no idea how much it would impact everything."

The three friends reached the 4Runner and loaded their bag in the back.

"I’ll get in the back seat," Lily offered, recognizing that both Carolyn and Anna would need lots of legroom. "Try not to crush me when you push your seat back, Amazon."

"Why don’t you just sit up here in the cup holder?" Anna countered, earning herself a playful pinch in the ribs. "Ow!"

"Listen to you pick on that poor woman. When did you get over being so serious?" Carolyn asked her friend, amazed at this new mischievous demeanor.

"Oh, about three years ago, when I found myself trapped underground with this imp. I had to learn to fight back," Anna explained.

"Don’t let her kid you, Carolyn. She started on me as soon as I pulled her out from under that bookcase. I almost put her back."

Anna reached behind the console to caress her lover’s calf. "Don’t worry about Lily. You can see she gives every bit as good as she gets." The tall woman turned in her seat to find Lily’s eyebrows arched at the subtle innuendo.

"I can believe it. By the way, ladies… there’s something I need to talk to you about before we get home," Carolyn said sheepishly. "I’d never lie to Vicki, but I sort of gave her the impression that it was your idea to come this weekend."

"What’d I tell you?" Anna spun back around and winked at Lily. "So you needed an excuse to get your mother-in-law to leave, right?"

The driver was quiet for a long moment as she gazed pensively through the windshield. "Guilty as charged. But it’s not what you think. I really like Susan a lot, and she’s been a big help."

Anna laid her hand on her friend’s shoulder. "For what it’s worth, we loved getting the invitation, even on short notice. And we don’t even care about your ulterior motives."

"Thanks. I really appreciate that. But I’m afraid it would really hurt Vicki’s feelings if she found out that I orchestrated all this just to have an excuse to put her mother on a plane this morning."

"How bad was it, Carolyn?" Lily asked from the back seat.

"Like I said, Susan was great. It’s just that I had all these fantasies about Vicki and Sarah and me, and they all played out with my mother-in-law right in the middle."

Carolyn was obviously exasperated and in need of someone she could talk to about all this. "Go on," Anna prodded.

"You know, I dreamed for so long about coming home from the hospital and carrying Sarah into the house for the first time. But when the moment actually came, Susan insisted on carrying her so I could help Vicki. I think I could have done both. And the first time Vicki finally let me get up in the night between feedings to see about Sarah crying, Susan was already there, telling me I should go back to bed because I had to work the next day. So I felt guilty about being rested in the morning when Vicki was so tired every day. I know it probably sounds silly and childish, but I really wanted to be part of everything. These are all the things I wanted us to share. I feel like a… husband or something."

"I don’t think it sounds silly or childish at all," Anna consoled. "I think it’s really sweet that you want to share all this with Vicki."

"And we’ll keep your secret," Lily added.

Carolyn and Vicki’s home sat in a quiet subdivision in Redmond, not far from the programmer’s office at Microsoft. The homes on their street were new and modern, with lush landscaping that thrived under Seattle’s infamous rainfall. That this was a family neighborhood was evidenced by the occasional bicycles and soccer balls that lay temporarily forgotten in the light drizzle.

Their host filled them in on the details of the cover story as they were pulling into the driveway. "And now, you may want to put on your sunglasses before we go in. Between the little angel you’re about to meet and her mom, you’re going to see the most radiant sight on earth!"

Lily wrapped her arm around her smiling lover’s waist as they walked toward the house. She and Anna hadn’t talked about the prospect of having children for quite a while, but she knew this weekend would trigger the discussion once again. Undecided about her own desire for children, Lily knew that being committed to Anna meant also being committed to the things Anna needed in her life.

When the proud parent opened the door for her guests, she was immediately greeted by her partner, who held a finger over her lips to shush the new arrivals. The three friends whispered their hellos excitedly, and tiptoed through the house to the small bedroom beside the master suite. Neither Carolyn nor Vicki could conceal their pride and happiness as their guests peeked over the edge of the crib at the beautiful sleeping infant. Anna and Lily silently mouthed their approval, gushing appropriately that this was indeed The World’s Most Beautiful Baby.

With that important detail settled, the foursome retreated to the kitchen for proper greetings.

"Vicki, you look fantastic!" Lily couldn’t believe this woman had given birth only four weeks ago.

"Thanks. I’m really glad you guys could come. That’ll probably save you from getting copies of every single picture this one takes," Vicki gestured to her partner, who was popping a disc into her laptop to load the most recent round of photos.

"That’s alright. We understand. Hal and Kim send us about a dozen new pictures every month. When Jonah grows up to be president, his biography will be a piece of cake." Anna was as proud of her nephew as any aunt could be.

"Didn’t you tell me that they have another one on the way?" Carolyn asked.

"That’s right, a little girl due in about two weeks." Anna secretly congratulated herself on her own role in the conception of her niece. She had insisted that Hal, Kim and Jonah use the Labor Day Maui trip she had planned last year with Lily when it was clear that they wouldn’t be able to go.

"So are you guys going to get the baby bug anytime soon?" Now that they had a child of their own, Vicki thought everyone should have such a joyous experience.

Anna and Lily exchanged quizzical looks, each waiting to see how the other might answer. Mercifully, Carolyn broke the impasse. "Okay, so it’s not for everybody."

"It isn’t that," Anna spoke up. "It’s just that we haven’t really talked about it. Maybe one of these days. Maybe not." She reached out and took her lover’s hand. "I don’t know if I’m ready to share this one yet."

Lily answered with a quick peck on the lips. "Is that so, Amazon?"

"That’s so, Pygmy."

"Well aren’t you two cute! Hey! Let’s have a look at those rings." Carolyn had expected to hear news of their commitment soon after their Yosemite trip last year, especially given the conversations she had had with Anna about how to know if Lily was "the one." Not knowing about Lily’s problems with alcohol, she assumed that dealing with Eleanor’s death had taken a lot out of her friends.

Anna and Lily proudly held out their left hands, boasting identical twisted bands of tri-colored gold. Despite their private nature, they had both agreed that they wanted to share news of their commitment with Anna’s family and their friends.

"Read ‘em and weep, George!" Lily goaded the patriarch as she and Anna laid their ringed hands side by side on the dining room table at the elder Kaklis’ home. "Looks like we’re all family now."

"Oh, my gosh!" Martine couldn’t contain her excitement, jumping immediately to her feet and racing around the table to embrace the two women.

"Would you look at that! My big tough sister is a romantic mushball." Kim was thrilled that her stepsister had taken the leap. Though she knew that Anna truly loved Lily, she had worried that the failure with Scott would prevent her from making this kind of commitment again.

"Congratulations, boss!" Hal hugged his sister-in-law, and then turned to Lily. "You know, I’ve been around these Kaklis people for almost 15 years. Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?" he kidded.

"Yeah, I think so. The old guy’s a little cranky sometimes," she gestured with a wink in the older man’s direction. "But the rest of you make up for it."

George was well past his early objections to Anna’s love affair with another woman, though the game with the small blonde continued to this day, and probably always would. But remembering how his daughter had expressed her disappointment last year that he had withheld his open approval of their relationship, he passed on the biting comeback this time and quickly reached out to embrace them both. "That’s wonderful, Anna!"

The tall woman was moved by the unusual display of serious emotions from the staid man. But she fully understood the sentiment: her father genuinely approved.

"You’re being such a good sport, George," Lily observed skeptically. "What are you up to?"

"Now what makes you think I’m up to something?" he answered mischievously.

"I don’t know. I think you’ve learned how to get under my BS detector. That worries me."

Her maternal instincts on high alert, Vicki heard the sputtering first, long before the others had a clue that little Sarah was waking up from her nap. "I’m going to change her and feed her," she announced. "You’re welcome to come in. We don’t mind visitors."

The others waited until things quieted in the bedroom before slipping in. Carolyn had found the old style rocker at an antique store, restoring its ebony gleam as a gift to her partner. The room was dotted with Seahawks paraphernalia, mostly shower gifts from Vicki’s coworkers. The newborn was dressed in a soft green terry jumper with the team’s emblem on its back. No one could deny the beautiful sight of the tiny baby at her mother’s breast.

"How’s my sweetie-pie?" Carolyn leaned over her lover’s shoulder to make eye contact with the nursing infant. "Huh? How’s my little sweetie-pie?"

Lily nudged Anna, who promptly jabbed an elbow into her partner’s side. She knew that Lily was laughing to herself about her observation that people always said things twice when speaking to babies or animals.

"You’re so pretty!" Carolyn continued, wide-eyed and smiling. "Yes you are. You’re so pretty!"

"She’s beautiful," Anna concurred.

Vicki shifted the infant to her other breast. "She always wakes up hungry. Don’t you, Sarah? Don’t you always wake up hungry?"

"That’s because I wanna be a big girl like my mommy. Isn’t that right? You wanna be a big girl like your mommy," Carolyn cooed.

Lily was going to pee her pants. The next time a sentence was repeated, she was definitely going to pee her pants. "Is the bathroom this way?"

"First door on the left," Carolyn answered, completely oblivious to the blonde woman’s private joke.

When Lily returned, she was happy to see her partner holding the baby to her shoulder, its tiny hands gripping the material on Anna’s shirt. Vicki and Carolyn looked on proudly. They were going to be great parents.

"So Carolyn, have you decided whether or not you’re going to have a little brother or sister for this angel?" Lily asked.

"Actually, we’re thinking maybe next year. I want to take a couple of months off so I can be with Sarah when Vicki goes back to work in August, so maybe about six months after I go back to work would be a good time to get pregnant. I don’t want to take advantage of the family leave policy at work, you know, being gone so long."

"You’re a braver soul than I am, taking on two little ones at the same time," Anna said. "Of course, if we ever had one, I’d have Lily too. That would be about the same thing."

"Hey! I resemble that," Lily pouted. "Just because you’re so much older…”

"Listen to you two! You’re acting like an old married couple."

"We are an old married couple," the dark-haired woman grinned. Teasing her mate with the running joke, she continued, "That’s what we are, isn’t it? An old married couple."

"And some of us are a little older than others," Lily reiterated with a knowing wink.

Anna and Lily, both very sensitive about invading Carolyn’s motherly turf, declined Vicki’s offers to help change and bathe the baby or to hold her for extended periods of time. Watching the new parents as they fussed in tandem over the infant’s every need, Anna couldn’t help but envy her friends. On display was a fierce connection between the two lovers, now deepened further by this tiny miracle.

*  *  *

Lily ran back into the house, wet from carrying their suitcase out to the 4Runner in the rain. She wished she’d packed her green sweater, but Anna was insistent that she make up her mind and choose only one outfit for Sunday. Had she known that her partner would be more dressed up, she wouldn’t have opted for this denim shirt. Lucky for her they weren’t flying Southwest Airlines, or people might mistake her for a flight attendant.

"We had a great time seeing your little girl," Anna told their hosts as she gathered the rest of their things. "Vicki, thanks for letting us come up on such short notice."

"Oh, we didn’t mind at all. To tell you the truth, it was a good excuse to get my mother to leave without actually telling her she’d worn out her welcome." The co-conspirators remained mum as a surprised look washed over Carolyn. "Don’t take this the wrong way–I love my mother–but she was here doing all those things I wanted Carolyn to do. I think it’s really important for both of us to bond with Sarah as much as we can, especially in these first few weeks. Mom was kind of cutting into that, you know?"

Carolyn wrapped her arms around the mother of their child and declared, "I love you. Did you know that? I love you."

"Now she’s doing it to Vicki," Lily sniggered as she and Anna headed to the car to give their friends a private moment.

"Knock it off, Pygmy! You hear me? Knock it off!"

That sent Lily into a fit of laughter, and despite her earnest attempts at self-control, Anna soon joined her.

*  *  *

The petite blonde slid through the churning water, coming to rest on the tall woman’s thighs and wrapping her legs around the slim waist. Face to face, they held each other tenderly, their smiling eyes a window to the connection they felt. Despite their naked state, this emotional link transcended their sexual relationship; if possible, it was more intimate. And that it would end with lovemaking later this evening was unmistakable.

"Did you have a good time this weekend?" Anna asked. They’d gotten home only an hour earlier, and both decided to forego their usual Sunday night routines of preparing for the work week ahead in favor of a relaxing soak in the cool night air.

"I had a wonderful time. But then, I was with you, and I always have a wonderful time when I’m with you."

"You’re such a sweet talker." Anna leaned forward for a kiss. "Mmm. Sweet lips too." Her hands traveled up the naked back to pull Lily closer. "I just love my life with you, Lily."

From her lover’s deep, almost wistful tone, she could tell that Anna had much more to say. "Oh yeah? Tell me what you love."

If Anna started a list of all the things she loved about Lily, they’d be out here in the hot tub all night. But that wasn’t exactly what she wanted to convey. She’d been thinking all weekend about what their life might be like if they followed in Carolyn and Vicki’s footsteps and had a child of their own. It was easy to imagine how happy they’d be with a family, but the reality was that it would dramatically change their life together. "Well for starters, I like this; just being able to be uninhibited about being together. And we have both the means and the freedom to do pretty much whatever we want."

"Uh-huh." Lily nodded in agreement, tucking a fallen strand of dark hair behind her lover’s ear. Anna has no idea how lovely she is with her hair pinned up like this.

"And we can pick up and go somewhere on the spur of the moment, like we did this weekend."

"Where are you going here, baby?" Anna thought that a conversation like this one set the stage for a serious discussion; Lily would call it beating around the bush. "What’s on your mind?"

Anna waited a while before she answered, not sure which way to pursue this now that she’d been busted. "I was just thinking about how much things would change for us if we decided to have a baby."

The question of babies had been a sort of elephant in the parlor since they left Seattle. Lily too been thinking about how it might change things. "How would you feel about all that?" she asked, trailing her fingers across Anna’s collarbones.

They had talked last year in more general terms about the idea of having children, but not since they’d made their commitment to one another. Anna knew that Lily had no special urge to bear a child, but that she’d thought about adoption.

"I don’t know. It’s kind of scary," Anna finally answered.

"You mean because our lives would change so much?"

"Yeah. I just don’t feel like we’ve had enough time together for ourselves, but I’m already 34 years old, and I don’t think I want to be having kids when I’m 40."

"Are you sure that you want to be having kids at all?" Lily ducked her head so she could find the wandering blue eyes. She’d be the happiest woman in the world to help raise this beautiful woman’s baby.

"I always thought so, but now I’m… I don’t know… conflicted. Mostly I’m afraid if I don’t have one, I’ll regret it."

"Talk to me some more. Why are you conflicted?"

"I guess I just hate to give up what we have. Carolyn and Vicki have been together for eight years; Kim and Hal were married 11 years before Jonah. You and I haven’t had that much time together."

Anna was right about a baby changing their lives. Still, Lily worried that her partner would regret it profoundly as they got older if she didn’t have a child. "Honey, we have some time to think about this. And 34 isn’t too old to put it off a few years."

Anna nodded, almost grimly. It was unsettling, not knowing what to do. Until she met Lily, nearly every aspect of her life had been carefully planned–studying mechanical engineering in college, following that with an MBA, taking over the dealership, her marriage to Scott. Children had been in that picture too. Then this little blonde came along and turned everything on its ear. It wasn’t the fact that she’d fallen in love with a woman that had changed her plans. It was that she’d realized that her plans weren’t only her own. For the first time, someone else was the center of her life.

"What do you think you want to do about children?" she asked Lily.

"I… want us to keep talking about it. I don’t know right now what I want either, but if we work through it together, I think we’ll do the right thing."

Later, the lovers lay in bed catching their breath, Lily resting her cheek against Anna’s dark curls. Even after two years together, she still couldn’t believe sometimes that she was the person Anna had chosen to touch and taste her this way. Though content to fall asleep in this very spot, Lily knew that her lover would get chilled soon and demand to be covered.

As if on cue Anna asked, "Hey, you. How about coming up here with me? And bring that blanket with you."

Lily chuckled knowingly and slowly crept up to nestle into the tall woman’s side, blanket in tow. "I love you, Amazon."

"Mmm," Anna mumbled, already half asleep. "If you should go first, I’m going to have your little tongue bronzed."

CHAPTER 2

A S SHE BACKED out of the tight space in the church parking lot, Lily waved through the windshield at Fran, a friend she’d made at the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings during her days last year at the Waterways Lodge. When she’d finished her daily regimen of AA meetings after the first 90 days of sobriety, Lily had made a commitment to herself to continue weekly meetings through the first year.

The church near Playa del Rey wasn’t the most convenient location, but it was nice to come back once in a while to see some of the people she’d met in her early days of sobriety. Lily’s regular meeting now was a women’s group that met on Wednesday evening at a women’s health clinic close to her home. She had briefly belonged to a gay and lesbian AA group, but gave that up after being hit on so often.

The attorney had missed her Wednesday meeting this week, working late to prepare a spate of custody cases that were up for their six-month review. The Methodist Church was her old standby, still hosting meetings seven days a week at seven a.m. With Anna off to work at seven on Saturday mornings, this meeting worked out just fine, but she hated getting up so early on the weekends.

But this weekend was different. This weekend she had promised her services to Sandy and Suzanne, who were repainting the interior of their home. Three times over 24 years, Lily and Eleanor–with their friend Katharine Fortier’s help–had done all the painting on the inside of their San Jose home, so the blonde attorney felt like an old hand. This was Sandy and Suzanne’s second undertaking in the 12 years they had lived in their Sherman Oaks home.

"One small detour," Lily said to herself as she passed the strip mall on the main street near her destination.

"We’re in here!" Sandy yelled from the kitchen.

Lily made her way through the living room, where all the furniture was pushed together tightly in the center of the room and covered with several large drop cloths. "Sorry I’m late."

"Krispy Kreme!" Suzanne cried when she spotted the green and white box. "You’re forgiven, my friend!"

"Wow, you guys have really gotten a lot done." Not only was all the furniture moved to the middle in each room, all of the windows were papered over, and the hardwood floors were lined to the baseboards with butcher paper. "It’s like a cave in here with the windows covered."

"Yeah, Kevin and Chet came over last night to help with the furniture. Suzanne and I did the windows on Thursday, and we papered the floors this morning."

"Pam and Tina should be here in just a few minutes. And they’re bringing Savannah." Pam and Tina were longtime friends of Suzanne’s, and Savannah was Tina’s nine-year-old daughter from a good-intentioned but misguided former marriage.

"Well the way I see it, we have two choices," Lily explained. "Either we wait politely until they get here, or we each eat four donuts very fast."

"Lord have mercy," Sandy sighed. At 38, she’d been adding pounds at the rate of three a year for the past six years. Four shortening-filled, sugar-dripping Krispy Kreme donuts for breakfast would be a very bad thing. And delicious. And she was planning to work very hard today. "I can only do three, and we have to hurry." Three sets of hands plunged immediately into the box.

"I got you covered, babe." Suzanne was an eating machine, already taking two warm donuts from the box. Though four inches taller than Lily at five-nine, the nurse weighed the same as her blonde friend.

"It’s like having a teenage boy in the house." Sandy had grown up with three brothers. "Right down to the dirty socks everywhere and the snoring on the couch."

"Eat up, Stringbean. It’s not like anything’s ever going to show up on your bones!" Lily exclaimed, poking the taller woman in the ribs. "I bet you have to run around in the shower to get wet all over."

"I have a high metabolism," Suzanne replied indignantly, taking a large bite of her third donut. "Or worms. Of course, one of these days whatever it is will change, and I’ll probably swell up like a blimp."

"Probably not as long as you work at that hospital, the way they run you ragged." Sandy rarely missed an opportunity to disparage St. George Hospital for the demands they put on their nursing staff. Lily knew that she would always hold them responsible for the accident five months ago that nearly robbed her of her partner.

Lily hated when her phone rang in the middle of the night, especially now that she was working mostly with custody and placement cases. That meant some child was in trouble somewhere, and it couldn’t wait until morning.

"Hello." Anna’s hand reached over and caressed her bare hip as she listened to the caller. "Oh, my god! I’m on my way right now. I’ll be there in 30 minutes."

"What is it?" Alarmed at Lily’s sudden reaction, Anna sat up and turned on the bedside light.

"That was Sandy. Suzanne was in an accident. A car pulled out in front of her and she wasn’t able to stop. She’s at St. George and she hasn’t regained consciousness."

"I’m coming with you." Anna could hear the fear in Lily’s voice. Sandy was her best friend, and tonight she needed their support.

Lily spent most of the next three days at her friend’s side, with Anna bringing their meals and spelling each of them while they ate or rested. Suzanne had broken her left femur; the seatbelt had snapped her collarbone; and her head hit the windshield when her airbag failed to deploy.

"I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her, Lily." It was late on the third night and they were sitting with Suzanne in her dimly lit private room.

"You’re not going to lose her, Sandy. The doctor said her vitals were all good. And there’s lots of brain activity."

"Yeah, did you hear that part? That’s Suzanne we’re talking about," Sandy joked, seeking even the smallest outlet for the dread-filled stress she felt.

Lily chuckled softly, watching the tears well up in her friend’s brown eyes. "Suzanne’s tough, Sandy. She’s going to be okay."

"She’s got to be. You know, I really do tease her a lot, but she’s so good-natured about it. Sometimes she tries to come off as this big tough butch, but she’s such a marshmallow. I tell you, Lily, she’s the gentlest person I know. I just love her so much."

"And she loves you back," a weak voice murmured from the bed.

A week later, the lanky nurse was at home. Six weeks after that, she was back on the job.

"Eat up! I just heard a car in the driveway."

"Quick! Get rid of the box," Sandy commanded. "Not in the trash can, they’ll see it. Take it back to the bedroom and hide it under a drop cloth."

Lily cleaned up the telltale crumbs in the kitchen while Suzanne hurried off to hide the evidence. Both strode nonchalantly into the living room just as Sandy opened the front door. "Hi! Come on in." Pam and Tina led the way, followed by little Savannah, who carried a box.

"We brought Krispy Kreme!" she announced happily.

*  *  *

"Anna, the guys are here with the new TV."

The car dealer looked up from her desk. "Great. Have them take it to the media room. I’ll be there in just a minute." Reaching into her bottom drawer, Anna retrieved the two DVDs she had ordered from Germany. One was a scenic trip through Bavaria, pointing out interesting sights from the inside of various BMW models. The cinematography from that film was such that it almost gave the feeling of being there inside the car on the autobahn, right down to the dashboard features. The second DVD held detailed information–engine specifications, safety features, option packages, and performance–on every single model in the BMW’s North American line. The latter was menu-driven, and could be used as a sales tool to educate a potential customer about a specific model.

Joining the delivery crew in the media room, Anna supervised the placement of the HD screen, getting a quick tutorial in the operation of the remote control. The large room held several black leather couches and easy chairs, with glass and chrome side tables holding recent issues of Car & Driver, Motor Week, and of course, brochures on the various BMW models. The room was climate controlled to preserve the rich aroma of the leather appointments, mimicking that "new car smell."

Anna had fashioned this room at Premier BMW to introduce new customers to the joys of driving, especially the joys of driving performance BMWs. She looked forward to showing it off to the sales staff on Monday morning. Captivated by her new toy, the executive sat back in a comfortable chair and hit "Play."

*  *  *

"Have you had any response to any of your grant proposals?" Sandy and Lily were working together sanding the spackled rough spots around the trim in the master bedroom. It would be the next room to get a fresh coat of paint, in this case, pale yellow. The others had started on the walls and ceiling of the guest room, which had been readied last night. Together, the five women were making pretty quick work of their task, with Suzanne using a roller on the walls, and Pam and Tina painting the trim by hand. They were barely two hours into their work day, and already the hallway and guest bedroom were nearly finished.

"No, but I’m hopeful June will bring some good news. A lot of these foundations start their funding cycles July 1st, so they’ll be looking more seriously at proposals next month."

Lily had written a grant last fall to have the Braxton Street Law Clinic provide legal services for LA County’s guardian ad litem program. When it came through, the program became her primary responsibility at the clinic, accounting for half of her time. With the clinic strapped for cash, the rest of her time was unpaid as she sought additional funding. It was her deal with Tony for taking her back last year following her alcohol troubles.

The guardian ad litem program was a network of volunteers that represented the interests of children who were wards of the state, either in foster care, in juvenile detention facilities, or in residential centers or group homes for physical, mental or emotional handicaps. Without these adult advocates, children could get stuck in the system, sometimes staying in the wrong place just because no one suggested a better option. It was a good fit for Lily, who as a child had spent time herself as a ward of the state of California. Now as a legal advisor to the LA program, she reviewed cases and consulted with the volunteers regarding placement and service decisions. By law, each placement came up for review every six months, so Lily handled about 25 referrals a week.

"How do you like working with the guardian ad litem office?"

"You know, it’s pretty rewarding to be the one advocating for the kids instead of the parents. I had no idea how many kids out there have just been forgotten," the blonde lamented.

"Yeah, it’s awful, isn’t it? What’s your caseload like?"

"It varies. At any given time, there are only about 2,000 kids who are in the system long enough to get assigned a guardian ad litem."

"Only 2,000! You’re kidding! Who can manage that many kids?"

"It’s not all that bad. I don’t have to deal personally with all of them. Most of the time, I just advise the volunteer if there are legal issues, and I’m on call for them when they have questions. I do about a half dozen placement reviews myself every week."

Sandy had been a social worker for 16 years, but had resisted being promoted to supervisor. She loved the field work, and felt she could make more of a difference dealing directly with the families. "Well I sure miss working with you, my friend. We don’t seem to have many cases in common."

"I miss you too, Sandy. That’s why it’s so important for us to spend time together on these bonding exercises. And yes, that was a spackle joke."

*  *  *

"Kim?" Anna called out as she opened the back door of her sister’s house.

"Come on in. I’m in Jonah’s room," the expectant mother answered.

Anna followed the voice down the hallway to find her sister squatting awkwardly to pick up her son’s toys. "Where’s my little–I’ll get those! Sit!" she commanded. Methodically, Anna gathered the brightly colored blocks and shapes, absently running the wheels of a plastic car across the carpet to make them spin.

"My hero," Kim sighed. "Hal took Jonah to visit Martine. If I go sit on the couch, will you promise to help me up before you leave so I won’t be stuck there?"

Anna laughed and guided the very pregnant woman to the living room. "Sure, I’ll help you up. Can I get you anything?"

"Did you bring a handgun?"

"No weapons."

"Then smother me or something." Kim was miserable.

"I see. So did Hal and Jonah leave to give you a break, or did you run them off with your cranky mood?"

"They ran for their lives, Sunshine!" Kim barked. "And I looked at my watch when you walked in to see how long you’d last."

To the car dealer, this pregnancy seemed tougher on Kim than the first. Taking her sister’s legs, Anna turned her lengthwise on the couch and removed the terrycloth slippers from the swollen feet.

Little by little, Kim relaxed as long fingers began to massage the aching appendages. "Right this minute, you’re my favorite person in the whole universe."

Anna smiled as she continued the kneading. "So I’m not in any danger?"

"No, you’re safe until you stop," she sighed. "I look like a Volkswagen Beetle."

"Well at least you don’t look like a Volvo," Anna deadpanned, showing no tolerance for ugly cars. Kim wore her long auburn hair pulled back, and didn’t bother with makeup these days. Still, Anna thought her sister more beautiful than ever, but Kim had threatened to maim the next person who dared to comment on her "glow."

"Doesn’t this make you want to have a baby?" Kim remembered when they used to talk about how their children would play with each other.

"Uh… that would be a no. Lily and I have talked about it–last weekend in fact–but I think we’re both pretty happy with just each other." Anna surprised herself with the sudden conviction in her words. Is that what I’ve decided?

"You really don’t want kids anymore?"

"I doubt it." There I go again.

"Will you take mine?" Kim was whining again.

"As long as I can give them back."

"Everybody says that. Will you at least take Hal?" Kim adored her stoic husband, but at this moment held him completely responsible for her miserable condition.

"Look, I keep him on the lot almost 10 hours a day. I think that’s more than my fair share."

"So how come you don’t want kids anymore?" Kim went back to the subject, a little surprised at hearing Anna’s new view. "Is it because you’re with Lily instead of a man?"

"No, not at all," Anna answered quickly. "That’s just… biology. Our friends in Seattle just had a baby; they used in-vitro. We might change our minds someday, but right now it’s like we haven’t been together by ourselves long enough. It’s only been two years."

"Look, I don’t want you to let my complaining sway you here. It’ll be over soon, and that little girl is going to make me forget everything about this part." Kim found herself mildly disappointed at her sister’s seeming reluctance. As close as they were, she had looked forward to sharing their families too. "It’s really not as bad as I make it out to be," she lied. This time, it was awful.

"Don’t worry about that. I’m used to you complaining," she teased. "It’s hard to explain, Kim. I just don’t really have the urge to have a child of my own. Even when I used to think about it, I wasn’t sure I really wanted to."

"What about Lily? Does she ever want to have a baby?"

"She says she doesn’t. She said something a long time ago about maybe adopting a child someday."

"How would feel about that? Would you want to adopt one?"

Anna had pored over this idea several times after Lily brought it up. Frankly, the prospect terrified her. "I don’t know. It seems to me that it might be pretty hard to start loving a certain child just because you decided to. I mean how could you be sure that you would bond?"

"How do I know I’m going to bond with my own?" Kim countered. "It’s not like I can send them back."

Both women chuckled, knowing that Moses himself couldn’t part Kim from her family.

The redhead continued. "You know, I’ve found that when it comes to kids and husbands, sometimes love is just a verb. It’s something you do as deliberately as you walk, you cook, or you speak. All the feelings that go along with it just seem to grow all on their own."

"When did you get to be so deep?" Anna had never known her sister to wax philosophic.

"I think about these things all goddamn night while I’m lying there awake with hemorrhoids and an aching back."

Anna gave the feet a final squeeze. "Only one more week, Kimmie. Then your little girl will be here, and like you said, you’ll forget all of this. Listen, I need to run. Is there anything you need me to do before I go?"

"Oh sure. Go off and be with adults. Adults who aren’t miserable."

"Do you want me to help you off the couch?"

"No, I want my husband to find me here and to think I’ve been trapped all afternoon. Then he’ll feel guilty and I’ll get him to shave my legs."

Anna hadn’t really needed that image, but it was too late. A quick kiss to her gloomy sister’s forehead, and she was out the back door.

*  *  *

Lily concluded that Savannah was about the friendliest, most well-behaved nine-year-old she’d ever met. And in her line of work, she’d met a lot. Not once all day had she complained at being relegated to the kitchen with her books and games and Sandy’s small TV. She had asked her mom earlier if she might be allowed to play in the hot tub on the deck, but Tina had reasoned that everyone would have to clean up first, and she doubted anyone would have the energy later. Accepting that answer, the little girl went back to the kitchen to start another book.

Folding the phone and returning it to the side pocket on her painters’ pants, Lily shared the good news. "That was Anna. She’s got steaks, chicken and burgers, and she’s expecting everyone to come for dinner."

"Well I could eat," Suzanne answered.

Big surprise there. "You two should plan to stay at our house tonight," Lily went on. "I’m sure you could use a break from these fumes."

"That’s generous of you and Anna, and I accept," Sandy replied immediately.

"Maybe we should go on home. Savannah’s been so good all day. I think she deserves to choose something special tonight." Tina knew what a blessing her daughter was, and both she and Pam consistently rewarded the child for her positive attitude. Some of their friends had suffered mightily with demanding children as they tried to blend their families.

"Well… if you say so. But we do have a pool," Lily reminded them, remembering Savannah’s earlier request. "And a basset hound."

Those details tipped the scale, and soon they were cleaned up and caravanning in two cars to Lily and Anna’s Brentwood home. Chester and Anna greeted them at the side gate as they trouped into the back yard.

Lily made the introductions. "Sweetheart, you remember Pam and Tina from the Valentine’s Day party."

"Yes, hello again. It’s good to see you both." Anna had crowded seven chairs around the six-person table outside. Never shy around food, Suzanne started in right away on the chips, salsa and Lily’s homemade guacamole.

"And this is Tina’s daughter, Savannah, who is going swimming!" Lily showed the girl to the downstairs bathroom where she could change into her suit.

As she cooked on the grill, Anna watched her partner playing with the child. Lily walked alongside the pool tossing a diving ring to Savannah, who tried to snag it each time before it reached the bottom of the pool. Lily had a gift with children that Anna envied. She’d seen it first with the girls at Kidz Kamp, then with the extraordinary patience Lily displayed when she played with Jonah, who took after his mother in the cranky department.

"One more day and we’ll be finished for another eight years," Sandy sighed. She and Suzanne were whipped from all they’d done over the past few days, but they had only the kitchen and bathrooms to do tomorrow.

"I can help tomorrow," Anna offered.

"Great, honey! We won’t need the ladder anymore," Lily chimed in as Savannah scurried into the house to get dressed.

"I bet you did the baseboards today, didn’t you?"

"Not funny, Amazon," she scowled. As a matter of fact, she had done the baseboards today.

Lily and Savannah carried the dinner conversation, with Anna unsure about where to jump in, and the others too tired to talk. Lily seemed to know all about the cool TV shows, the right music, and the best computer games.

But an hour later, even the usually energetic blonde was nearly comatose. Sandy and Suzanne thanked their departing friends for their help, as they had other plans for the next day. Finally, Chester led the way as the two remaining couples turned out the lights and wearily climbed the stairs.

"I don’t want to hear any noises coming from your room tonight," Sandy warned her friends. "I’ll call the night manager."

Lily chuckled and started to speak, but Anna yanked her into their room before she could reply. "Can’t have you giving our secrets away," the tall woman whispered sexily as she pinned her lover behind the door.

"And what would those secrets be?" Lily’s lips seized the soft skin at the hollow of Anna’s neck.

"Oh, maybe a trick or two we learned in a tent once upon a time." She was remembering how she and Lily had strained to keep quiet as they made love in Yosemite with their friends in a nearby tent.

"Hmmm, I don’t recall us being very successful."

"Now that I think about it, we weren’t. That means we have no tricks."

"Or secrets," Lily added.

Anna blushed at the thought. "Maybe we should just get some sleep tonight."

"That might be a good idea. I’m beat," the blonde concurred, tired to her bones. "But I promise to make it up to you."

Anna winked. "Me too."

As they readied for bed, Anna’s thoughts wandered back to the sweet little girl who visited tonight. "Lily, how did you know all those things you talked about with Savannah?"

"You mean the singers and the TV shows and all?"

"Yeah. You don’t pay any attention to things like that."

"I don’t know. I guess I’ve picked it up from the kids I work with. I usually talk to them about stuff they like before we get down to business. I have to win their trust so they’ll tell me the truth, because a lot of the times, someone else has already told them what they should say."

"You’re really good with kids. I wish I were that comfortable with them."

"You’re very good with Jonah. He adores you."

"Well that’s because I spoil him. But I’m not sure how good I’d be if I had to discipline him or tell him no."

"Yeah, but that’s the appeal of other people’s children," Lily joked. "I personally think you’d be a great mom."

Anna couldn’t see that in herself at all. "What makes you say that?"

"Well first of all, I happen to know for a fact that you, Anna Kaklis, have a tremendous capacity to love." That earned her a sloppy kiss on the cheek, and she wiped away the toothpaste before continuing. "And I’ve seen how well you get on with some of the kids we’ve taken camping." Anna had come along three times on outings with Kidz Kamp, each time forging a friendship with a troubled child. "You like to have fun, and you’re even-tempered. Those are good qualities for being a mom."

So here they were, talking about it again. That afternoon, Anna had been especially mindful of how much her sister’s life had changed with having children. Their needs were front and center, and everything Kim did–walking with her friends, going out to eat, even giving up her real estate work–she did with her children in mind. Anna wasn’t at all ready for that kind of change. She couldn’t just leave the dealerships to run themselves that long, and it was too much to ask her father to do. Maybe Lily…

"Do you still think about adopting a child? Or even having one of your own?"

"Having my own, no." When Lily first realized at 14 that she was gay, it gave her a new perspective on what her life would be like. Without really understanding what her options might be down the road, she’d just gotten used to the fact that babies weren’t part of the deal. "Adopting… maybe, but only under really special circumstances. I always figured that if I ever met a child that needed me–not just needed a home, but needed me–that I’d feel it too, like Mom did with me. But I never thought I’d just decide to adopt and go pick one out."

The women settled underneath the sheet and light blanket, both gravitating immediately to the center of the king-sized bed.

Lily went on. "And with you and me together now, it’s not a decision I can make on my own. You’d have to feel that need too. I couldn’t ask you to do something like that if it didn’t feel right for you."

For Anna, that was reassuring, though she was certain her partner wouldn’t try to push her into something she didn’t want. Still, she knew it would be difficult to deny Lily something she really wanted, even something that would impact both of them as much as a child.

It started just as both began to doze off. From across the landing and down the hall, through not one but two closed doors, it rumbled. Their friend Suzanne was sawing logs.

CHAPTER 3

"L ILY, THE BLINKING line is yours," Pauline shouted across the reception area. The basic phone in Lily’s office, which was an oversized closet off the main reception area, was not connected to the intercom system. She had lost her larger office last year to Tony’s wife Colleen, who had taken over her caseload while she was suspended.

"This is Lilian Stuart. How may I help you?"

"Wanna see The Big Unit?"

Lily’s face broke into a grin as she pushed her door shut for more privacy. "Oh, I’m doing very, very well today, Amazon, and thanks for asking." She and her lover had started their day well before dawn, when Anna awoke and began covering her neck with gentle kisses and nips. Lily sensed an urgent need in her lover for physical closeness, and matched it quickly with her own. They hadn’t shared their bodies in almost a week.

"Sorry, my social skills are a little rusty," she laughed.

The Big Unit? "So let me guess… either the Diamondbacks are in town or that’s the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard." The Big Unit was Randy Johnson, a pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks. Lily had read this morning that the team was in town for a series with the Dodgers.

"Maybe it’s both," the car dealer teased. "Would you be interested in two tickets on the third base line for tonight’s game?" Anna had gone to work today with the realization that she and Lily had been awfully busy lately with their friends and family, and deserved to spend some time with just each other.

"Well, Ms. Kaklis, since you asked so nicely…” This was fun; it was almost like Anna was flirting. "What time?"

"It’s a 7:05 start. I can be home by 6:15."

"It’s a date. I’ll be ready."

"See you then."

Lily beamed when she hung up the phone. I have a date tonight with Anna Kaklis! As was her practice, she began dressing herself in her mind’s eye.

Yes! Anna picked up the phone immediately to call her Chamber of Commerce friend Jerry Grossman, marketing director for the LA Dodgers. "Jerry, hi. This is Anna Kaklis. Listen, I need a big favor. Any chance I can get two tickets on the third base line for tonight’s game?"

*  *  *

Jerry came through, sending a courier to the dealership with the tickets and a VIP parking pass. At 6:10 Anna pulled her sporty Z8 into the driveway. Lily met her at the side door with a welcoming kiss, all set to go. "Let me just change real quick," Anna said, disappearing up the stairs. When she returned, she was dressed casually like her blonde partner–in faded jeans, a black t-shirt, and tennis shoes. Appropriate for the occasion, her dark ponytail was pulled through the back of a Dodgers cap. To Lily, she was the most beautiful woman on earth.

Traffic was a typical Tuesday night headache, but they managed to get to the ballpark before the start of the second inning.

"Look at these seats! Did you sleep with somebody?"

Anna laughed aloud at her lover’s mock accusation, as did the men sitting behind them. Jerry had delivered alright. Their seats were in the first row, right behind the on-deck hitter.

"Jerry Grossman hit me up last month for a donation to the Dodger’s Foundation, their youth organization. I called Tony first, and he said the Kidz Kamp budget was in good shape, so I wrote Jerry a check," Anna shrugged.

Lily was proud that Premier Motors was now the principle sponsor of Kidz Kamp, and especially that Anna was taking such an active role as benefactor.

The dark-haired woman took the menu from the pouch in front of her and waved to one of the attendants that watchfully serviced those in the premium box seats. "I’d like two hot dogs with everything, two curly fries, and two diet cokes, please." Those were Lily’s favorites. "You want anything?"

"Touché, Amazon."

The ladies sat back and enjoyed a thriller, a pitcher’s duel well into the seventh inning when the Dodgers broke it open with a triple and back-to-back home runs. Anna enjoyed the game, but was even more entertained at times by her partner.

"Hey Blue! You’re missing a really good game!" Lily loved knowing that from these seats, the umpire could actually hear her. "Another eye and you’d be a Cyclops!"

As the temperature dropped, the cold-natured car dealer started adding layers, first a V-necked sweater, then a lightweight jacket. When she reached for Lily’s unused Dodgers sweatshirt, the blonde woman cautioned, "If you keep piling on clothes, they’re going to show you on television."

"But I’m cold!"

"What if I come over there and sit in your lap?" Lily offered in a voice only her lover could hear.

"Then I guarantee we’d be on television."

Three sharp beeps told Anna she had a call. With Kim due three days ago, she carried the cell phone everywhere.

"It’s Hal," she said, pressing the button to talk. "Hello… how long?"

The smile told Lily all she needed to know. She began to gather their things from under the seat, not that there was much more to pick up, what with Anna now wearing everything.

"They’re at the Medical Center. Kim went into labor about two hours ago. Hal says it’s probably going to be a while, if you want to stay and see the game."

"Are you serious?" Lily knew that Anna’s head had already left, so it was only fitting her body should follow. "Let’s go!"

Walking quickly to the car, the blonde lobbied Anna jovially that she should drive them both to the hospital, given the taller woman’s excitement. Lily had only driven the sports car three or four times since Anna got it more than a year ago, and it certainly wasn’t going to happen tonight. Finally conceding, she extracted a promise that her partner would drive with due caution.

So if a Z8 leaves a 30-foot strip of black rubber on the pavement and there was no one in the parking lot to hear it, did it make a sound?

*  *  *

Kim and Hal were running through their relaxation drills in a birthing room on the third floor of UCLA’s Medical Center. The room was decorated much like a bedroom in one’s home, with a braided oval rug, pictures on the walls and a homey quilt on the twin bed. Birthing rooms were a popular option for families who wanted a low technology, low intervention birthing experience. Equipment was readily available for any type of emergency response, but Kim was healthy and her pregnancy was considered low risk.

One of the nicest features of the birthing room was that even small extended families were accommodated during the labor process. Anna and Lily therefore proceeded directly to the room to see how things were going.

"Hiya sister!" Kim greeted her actually smiling, the first one Anna had seen in a month.

"Hey yourself. What’s this grin about? Did you get drugs?"

"No, we were just talking about how much better tomorrow is going to be. This misery will finally be over." Kim really had been pretty wretched over the last three or four weeks. "And I’m looking forward to seeing my little girl."

"Well we all are," Lily added. "Where’s Jonah?"

"He’s with Mom and Dad. They were looking for the vending machines. My luck, they’re buying him chocolate, and he’ll be a wild man."

"I think I’ll go try to find them," Lily offered. She knew she was welcome in the room, but still she wanted to give Anna some time with her sister and brother-in-law.

"I’ll come with you, Lily," Hal added. "Just for a few minutes, hon. I’ll be right back."

Alone for just these moments, Anna sat on the bed, taking her sister’s hand. "I love you, Kimmie. You’re such a good mom, and I’m so proud of you."

Both women’s eyes misted at the tender moment. "I love you too, Sister." She suddenly squeezed Anna’s hand tightly as a contraction took her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it’s normal. The doctor said it would probably be sometime after midnight. Will you wait around?"

"I wouldn’t miss it."

Hal returned quietly and took his place on the other side of the bed. "You want anything?"

Kim seized again, this time stronger than the one before. "You know, I just did that. Maybe we should start timing them or something."

Ninety minutes later, the doctor agreed that it was indeed Showtime!

*  *  *

The Kaklis clan, which according to George’s own quiet acquiescence, now officially included one Lily Stuart, waited impatiently for word on its newest addition. Hal’s father, Harold, Sr., chatted with Martine while George and Lily took turns chasing Jonah around the couches in the maternity waiting room. It seemed that the toddler never slept; and someone had indeed given him chocolate.

Hal’s parents were divorced, and his mother lived in Florida. Father and son hadn’t been especially close over the years, but both were trying harder to forge a relationship now that the grandchildren were part of the picture.

Anna stood in the doorway, an eye on the door to Kim’s birthing room. No one had come in or out in the last 15 minutes, so she was expecting news soon. Finally, one of the two nurses stepped into the hallway, pulling off the rubber gloves and tossing them in a nearby receptacle. She didn’t look Anna’s way, so there was no discerning the news.

"I think something’s happening here," the tall woman announced excitedly.

Indeed, the next person to exit was Dr. Beth Ostrov, who had also delivered Jonah. The soft smile on her face caused Anna’s heart to soar.

By the time Dr. Ostrov had reached the waiting room, everyone was gathered in the doorway. "Well folks, what can I say? She’s a beaut! Seven pounds, nine ounces."

"And Kim?" Anna asked anxiously.

"Doing just great! Even Hal made it this time," she joked. He had hyperventilated when Jonah was born. "The OB nurse is still cleaning up a little, but when she comes out, you’ll be able to go in. Just try not to rush the door."

"Thanks, Dr. Ostrov. We appreciate everything," Martine gushed.

"The pleasure was mine." Her smile still in place, the obstetrician turned and disappeared down the hall.

After an eternity of eight or nine minutes, the OB nurse appeared and waved everyone down to the room. "Mom and daughter are doing great, but you don’t want to overwhelm them, okay?"

"You got it!" Anna replied, and started through the door, the entire clan in tow. One by one, they stepped closer to the bed, careful not to crowd the family. George passed a squirming wide-eyed Jonah to his dad and started snapping pictures with a digital camera.

Kim was sitting up in the bed, her red hair freshly combed away from her face. In her arms was a dark-eyed, red-faced darling with a shock of her father’s jet-black hair. "Everyone, meet Jonah’s little sister, Alice Martine Phillips."

Kim’s mother was moved beyond words at the honor of her namesake. Anna had been equally honored when Jonah had been given her middle name, Merrill.

George snapped away, first moving Martine into the picture, then Anna and Lily. The blonde felt an overwhelming sense of happiness at her inclusion in this family moment.

With apologies to Carolyn and Vicki, tonight there was a new World’s Most Beautiful Baby.

"Oh wait. I have to call David!" Hal remembered his brother-in-law, who was a sophomore at Stanford. Harold took one last picture of the entire Kaklis family–including Lily–as Hal relayed the news on the phone, and finally the group’s quiet excitement began to settle down.

Shortly after two a.m., everyone started to file out to let the new mom get some rest. Jonah, who had finally fallen asleep, was spending the rest of the night with his grandparents. Since she’d had no complications, Kim would be going home the following afternoon.

"That was quite something, wasn’t it?" Lily asked her partner as they walked arm in arm to the car.

Anna was still giddy with excitement. "Oh yeah! Did you see Jonah’s eyes?"

Lily chuckled. "You should have seen your own."

Anna was absolutely delighted with the birth of her niece. In fact, she’d made a very important decision as she looked on at the new addition in her mother’s arms. Tomorrow, the car dealer would contact her business attorney. No matter what she and Lily decided about a family, she wanted to share Premier Motors with her sister and brother. Jonah and Alice, and David’s children as well, would be among her heirs. That was family.

*  *  *

"No good deed goes unpunished," Anna muttered, plowed under by the paperwork Walter had delivered Monday morning to distribute the stock in the car company. He had advised a gradual distribution to alleviate the tax burdens her family members would see with the gift. He had also pointed out that Anna’s will needed to be updated to reflect this change in stock ownership.

My will. That thought took the car dealer on a further tangent, as she realized that the three-year-old document held no provisions whatsoever for Lily. With the home in her name only, her partner was vulnerable to eviction by the mortgage holder should something happen to Anna. How could I have let this slide?

Picking up the phone, she placed a quick call to her attorney. "Walter? Anna Kaklis. First of all, thanks so much for that mountain of paperwork you sent over. Do I happen to pay you by the page?" she quipped. "Listen, on the will thing… I need to talk to you about Lily. I want to make sure she’d be taken care of if something happened to me." She quickly jotted down the lawyer’s words. "No, what’s that?" Anna sat up straight in her chair. "I never knew California had such a thing… Do you have the paperwork for it? Uh-huh… so what’s involved?" She frowned at Walter’s next question. "No, absolutely not. It isn’t necessary… No, Walter. Not in this case… Why don’t you send the paperwork over and we’ll schedule a meeting, you, me and Lily. I’d like to get this done right away."

*  *  *

Lily nearly fell out of her chair when her partner laid the form in front of her.

"Registered domestic partners?"

"Yeah, Walter told me about it. I downloaded that off the web. He says if we sent that in, we’d be legally bound in the eyes of the state."

The blonde couldn’t believe it. She knew all about the domestic partner statutes, but never would have imagined that it was something Anna might consider, let alone suggest on her own.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, I’d love to be your registered domestic partner." Lily found herself actually blushing, though she couldn’t imagine why.

"Good," Anna replied, almost businesslike. "Could you come down to the office with me first thing tomorrow morning to meet with Walter? I need to go over my will and I’d like to put your name on the house and give you a small piece of the company."

Now Lily was stunned. "Anna! I can understand the house, but why give me part of the company? That’s your family’s company."

"You are my family, Lily. More than anyone else. I want Kim and Hal’s kids to have the business, along with David and his kids. But if something should happen to me, I want to know that you’re taken care of, that I’ve left you something that was important to me."

That did it. Stupid tears. Couldn’t stop. Lily walked over behind her lover’s chair and wrapped her arms around the tall woman’s neck. "Just don’t ever leave me. That’s all I really want."

*  *  *

"Walter, I said no." Anna was angry that he’d even brought it up.

"Sweetheart, he’s right. I’m not offended at all," Lily said, looking over Walter’s paperwork with her lawyer’s eye. "I recommend it to my clients too when there’s prior property involved. He’s representing you here, and he’d be remiss if he didn’t ask for this."

Anna’s attorney had presented her with a standard pre-nuptial agreement that she’d make no claim on Anna’s business or singular holdings should they dissolve their domestic partnership for any reason.

"I’m not threatened by it, and you shouldn’t be either. Didn’t you have Scott sign one?"

The car dealer’s face burned at that. The pre-nuptial with Scott had saved her ass.

"Fine. Just sign it and stick it somewhere." Anna sneered at Walter, stopping short of suggesting where. "Did you bring the papers for the house?"

"Yes, of course. You’ll be tenants in common. But I should warn you that it isn’t likely that Lily could afford the mortgage if something happened to you."

"Then get mortgage insurance that will pay it off," Anna snapped. She was tired of this. Why did they have to jump through so many hoops?

Walter started putting the forms back into his briefcase. "I’ll file the stock forms today, along with the domestic partnership papers and the new will. The house papers will probably take until Tuesday."

Moments later, the two women were left alone in Anna’s office. The scowl on the car dealer’s face told her partner that she was unhappy with the way things had gone. Lily wasn’t sure why, but Anna was really hung up on the pre-nuptial.

"What’s wrong, hon?"

No answer, just more scowl.

"Are you still upset about the pre-nup?"

"I just don’t like what it says about our commitment. If we were both serious about it being forever, why do we need a legal document that spells out what we’d do if we split up?"

"Honey, it says nothing at all about our commitment. I’m not going anywhere. Are you?"

"Of course not."

"Then it’s a moot document, so why worry about it?"

"I just don’t like what it symbolizes."

Lily blew out a deep breath. She’d try a new tack. "It’s there in case something bizarre happens. What if you got amnesia and all of a sudden didn’t know me from Eve?"

"That’s pretty far-fetched."

"Far-fetched things happen sometimes. Besides, it says something important about how I feel about you. It says I married you for your body, not your money."

"My body?"

"Your body."

"Not my gentle nature? Or my tender heart?"

"Nope. Your body."

"Well, then." Anna stood and walked over to her partner’s chair. "If that’s the case, then I should have the right to expect you to demonstrate that on a regular basis."

"Very well, if I must."

"Oh, you definitely must."

CHAPTER 4

A NNA SAT IN the waiting room, dreading the moment they actually called her name. This was one of those rare times she didn’t mind waiting. In fact, if there were an emergency with someone else…

"Anna Kaklis?" A youthful technician in white pants and a floral top called her name.

The tall woman grimaced and returned the unread magazine to the table at the center of the small room. A root canal, she thought. No, a root canal without anesthetic, she bargained with an unseen entity. Anything but this.

"You can change in here," the woman handed her a soft blue top and a key, gesturing toward a small private changing room, "and lock your things in the closet. I’ll knock in about five minutes to take you in. Don’t forget, the ties go in front."

Slipping into the room, Anna pulled the door closed. Thankfully, they’d gotten rid of those flimsy cubicles, where the curtains didn’t quite reach from one corner to the other. At least in this little room, she had privacy, and she wouldn’t have to step out and wait in a room with three or four other women who were similarly underdressed.

The dark-haired woman removed her suit jacket and hung it carefully in the closet. The sleeveless shell followed, then her bra. Quickly slipping on the loose cotton wraparound, she laced the ties on the inside right, and then on the outside left. This too was an improvement, she thought. Last time, she’d gotten a paper shift that gaped open in the front if she didn’t hold it tightly closed. And if you wrapped it too tightly, you had to worry about the position of the armholes.

A soft knock signaled the technician’s return. "Ms. Kaklis? Are you ready?"

Anna opened the door and stepped out. She detested this part, where she would be led down a busy hallway to a room at the far end. Why did there have to be so much indignity attached to this procedure? Because men probably run these clinics, she answered herself. To her surprise and delight, she was instead directed through a single doorway into a darkened room, lit only by two small spots above the imposing medical equipment. Relaxing new age music drifted softly through recessed speakers.

"Okay, could I have you step over here, please? That’s it, all the way against the tray. We’re going to do the right side first, so just slip that side off your shoulder. You can leave the other one on."

This too was new. Usually, they just took her paper shift away as soon as she entered the room, leaving her awkwardly exposed for the duration of the procedure.

And it’s warm in here!

The technician gently positioned Anna’s right breast onto the tray and lowered the top slide gradually until the fatty flesh was uncomfortably flattened. "I need you to hold your breath and be perfectly still." Anna heard a soft buzz as soon as the woman disappeared behind what she assumed was a lead wall. Quickly, the technician returned. "Okay, now the left side." They repeated the procedure for Anna’s left breast.

"You’ve changed a lot of things about this since last year."

"We sure have. We’ve tried to get rid of as many of the unpleasant aspects as we could. No more bright lights; all the rooms are kept at 78 degrees; and we’ve tried to give women more privacy. How’d we do?"

"Much better," Anna enthused. "I won’t dread this nearly as much next time."

"I have to do the side view now. Let’s do the left side first this time." The technician skillfully turned the tray diagonally, this time to capture the breast tissue near Anna’s underarm. "This part’s still pretty unpleasant, but we’ll keep trying to fix what we can. I swear if men had to put their balls in this vise, they’d find a way to make it out of transparent cotton sponges."

Anna chortled at the image, certain the technician was right. A few minutes later they were finished, and the slides were checked for quality.

"That’s it. We’re all done. One of the doctors will be in touch in a few days."

"Thank you. Really, I appreciate all the things you’ve done here to make this easier. It makes a huge difference."

"Yeah, I know. I have to get them once a year too."

Anna nodded, knowing exactly what that meant for the technician, since regular mammograms weren’t usually prescribed for women their age unless there was a known risk. Having lost her mother to breast cancer at age 35, Anna had been vigilant about self-exams, physician exams, and mammograms since her early twenties. The odds were high–some said one in four–that she too would develop the disease.

*  *  *

Lily was delighted to find the Z8 already in the garage when she got home. The car dealer usually worked until seven unless they had plans, so this was a rare treat. A scrumptious aroma filled her nostrils as she entered the side door. "Anna?"

"In here," her lover called from the kitchen.

"Hey! This is a nice surprise. What are you cooking?"

"Nothing fancy. Just a roasted chicken. It’s almost done."

"It smells great!" Lily wrapped her arms around her lover’s waist, unable to resist reaching under the t-shirt to feel the warm skin. "How’d it go today?" Her lover had dreaded this annual exam, brooding about it for the last four days.

"It was alright, actually. They’ve changed a lot of things there that have always made it such an ordeal." The clinic near their home was the same one that hosted Lily’s Wednesday night women’s AA meeting. "You should think about having a mammogram sometime, you know, at least to get a baseline."

"I’m only 32, Anna. Most women don’t start getting them until they’re about 40."

"But how do you know you’re not at risk? You really don’t know that much about your real mother." That brought a quick frown to the blonde’s face, and Anna immediately corrected herself. "I mean your natural mother. Sorry."

Lily had made such a big deal about reinforcing her partner for her vigilance against the disease that she’d left herself with no real arguments for not getting a mammogram herself. "Okay, I’ll call the doctor’s office and see if I can get a referral."

The attorney was rarely sick, scheduling only sporadic visits to a gynecologist when she felt guilty about not getting a Pap smear for a couple of years.

"Why don’t you call my doctor? I’m sure she’d see you."

"I seriously doubt your doctor is on our plan. My preferred providers are mostly these big groups where you’re lucky if you see the same doctor more than once." Tony had chosen the basic benefits package for the law clinic with cost in mind. For more money each month, Lily could have chosen an option that let her have the same physician, but she couldn’t see paying that extra money when she so seldom needed medical services.

"That’s ridiculous! Even Chester sees the same veterinarian. You need to be on my plan. Will you do that?"

"Your plan?"

"Why not? Premier has domestic partner benefits, so we might as well take advantage of them. It’s a small co-pay, and no deductible. And we have dental and eye care too."

"But then you’d be paying instead of Tony."

"So what? I’d feel better knowing that you were covered, and that there was a doctor somewhere who cared about you, and not just a billing. And that way, we could see all the same doctors. Wouldn’t that be better?"

Lily couldn’t believe the verve with which Anna had taken on this "domestic partner" thing. Not that she minded at all–it was thrilling to be reminded in so many ways that Anna viewed their commitment as seriously as she did.

"Okay, I’ll make the switch. Tony will be pleased." Every dollar saved at the law clinic was a godsend.

"Good girl. Then you’ll make an appointment for a complete physical and give me peace of mind?"

Well I certainly walked right into that! "Fine. Just let me know when the coverage takes effect."

"That’s my girl. I plan on keeping you many years, you know."

"No trade-in on a newer model?"

"Nope. I’m going to see that you get regular maintenance so you’ll last a long time."

"Gonna drive me into the ground, are you?"

"Yep."

"Sounds like fun." Lily’s eyebrows went up. "So how soon can we get started?"

"After supper."

*  *  *

"I appreciate you doing this with me," Lily said, reaching across the center divide and taking her lover’s hand. She had skipped her usual parody of the flight attendant’s safety message today.

"I wouldn’t miss it," Anna answered softly.

"I won’t ask you to do this every year, I promise. But since it’s the first year…”

"It’s okay, sweetheart. Really."

Today was the first anniversary of Eleanor’s death, and the women were flying up to San Jose for the day to visit her grave. Bill Mueller had arranged to meet them for lunch downtown, and they would return early in the evening.

For Lily, the visit was both profoundly sad and at the same time cleansing. The last time she’d been back in her hometown, her life had been in shambles. She and Anna were apart, she’d lost her job, and she had yet to get treatment for her alcohol problem. Still, her mom had been a spiritual force in the fight back from the edge, and today Lily was eager to stand before the headstone and symbolically give her reassurance and thanks.

Arriving too early for lunch, Lily gave Anna the nickel tour in their rental car of her old high school and the outfitters store where she worked summers and after school. Although reluctant to drive by her former home, she finally got up the nerve, and was cheered by the sight of a newly erected swing set in the back yard. Briefly, the women stopped in to say hello to the neighbors, Ernie and Charlotte Beck, who were thinking too about Eleanor this day.

Lily spotted the handsome doctor as he entered The Grill and waved him to their table. Quickly standing, she reached up to give a heartfelt hug. "It’s good to see you again. Thanks for making some time for us." She couldn’t help the misty eyes at the sight of her mother’s dear friend.

"Hi Bill," Anna chimed in, standing also to greet the man.

Bill walked around the table to hug Anna too. "I appreciate you asking me. It’s… a comfort to be able to share part of this day with people who understand what it means."

Lily nodded, working hard to keep her tears in check.

"So have you been to the cemetery yet?" he asked.

"Not yet. We’ll go as soon as we leave here. Our plane back to LA leaves around six-thirty."

Their small talk was awkward for awhile, until Anna asked how he liked his new car. She and her father had browbeaten the man into leasing a new BMW last year.

"Are you kidding? I love it!"

Anna beamed with pride. "Another satisfied customer!"

From that topic, it was easy to move into more casual conversation, as the women caught Bill up on the Kaklis family and its new addition. The doctor spoke of his recent golf trip to Palm Springs, and Anna reminded him to call the next time he was down, just in case she was visiting her two dealerships there during that time.

Warmed by the visit, the friends said their goodbyes and promised to stay in touch. They would surely drift apart over the years, but would always have fond memories of the special role each had played in Eleanor Stuart’s too-short life.

It was a gorgeous day in the South Bay, a light wind having blown away the usual haze that hung over the valley. The smooth east hills boasted a few remaining patches of green from the spring rains and the white oleander bloomed brightly along the freeways.

Lily drove to the cemetery in silence. Parking along the designated drive, the women got out and walked hand in hand to Eleanor’s gravesite. It was Anna’s first visit since the service, but she had helped Lily with the inscription on the headstone. The grass was freshly mown, and someone had placed a bright bouquet on top.

"It’s from her school," Lily explained as she read the small card. Her mother had been principal of a large elementary school. "One of the teachers must have come by this morning already."

"That was very sweet," Anna replied. She and Lily had brought three dried sunflowers–one for each of them and a third for Chester–to crumble and sprinkle into the ground. Sunflowers had been Eleanor’s favorite, and she had always preached that decomposed plants "brought new life to the garden."

When they’d finished with their small ritual, Anna rose and placed her hand lovingly on her partner’s shoulder. "I’m going to go wait by the car now. Take as long as you want."

Lily nodded, smiling softly in appreciation of the depth of Anna’s understanding about this day and what it meant to be able to commune with her mother like this. Turning back to the headstone as her partner walked away, Lily began.

"Hi Mom. I sure have missed you. It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year." Lily was almost overcome with the sense of comfort and familiarity she felt at standing here before her mother’s resting place. "I figure you somehow already know all of this, but everything I talked about the last time I was here is all better now.

"I haven’t had a drink in about eight months. I’m back at work–Katharine will like that part. It’s still part-time but it’s just with kids, so it’s something I really like. And you can see that Anna and I have worked everything out. In fact, I wanted to show you this." Lily self-consciously held out her hand to show off the ring Anna had given her, as though her mother could see it from where she lay.

"She’s more than I ever dreamed, Mom. I’m really glad you two had the chance to know each other, even if it was just for a while. Mostly, I wanted you to know that I have a family again. No one will ever take your place–you know that–but I don’t want you to worry that I’m alone. Thanks to Anna, I have in-laws, a nephew and now a new niece. I’m going to be alright. I don’t want you to worry about me.

"And I hope it’s okay with you, but I probably won’t come be coming back here every year. I’ll stop by when I can, but don’t ever think that I’ve forgotten you. You’re still in my heart every day. I love you, Mom."

Two hours later, their plane took off toward the San Francisco Bay, banking sharply to the right in its southward turn. Lily spotted the municipal cemetery from the sky, finally shedding her first full tear of the day.

Anna took the smaller hand and squeezed tightly as the jet climbed. She felt awful that she hadn’t been with Lily on her difficult trip last year, and had been determined to come along on this visit. She would do whatever she could to make certain that her partner never felt alone again.

"Anna, where is your mother buried?"

Startled momentarily by the question, Anna had to think. "She isn’t, actually. She was cremated. Dad and I scattered her ashes in the water off Catalina." The memory of that final sailing trip with her father rushed back at her. George had sold the boat soon after they got back, and had never sailed again. To a 10-year-old girl, that had severed an important connection.

"Why there?" Lily couldn’t believe she was just hearing this story for the first time. How could she have been so self-centered not to even ask?

"We used to sail together. Mom and Dad both loved it."

"I thought George hated boats." He never went along with Hal.

"No, he just left it behind. I guess it made him sad."

"I can understand that. I didn’t want to go hiking last year after Mom died. It took me until January to finally go back up into the mountains. And I thought about her a lot that day."

"Do you feel like she’s with you?"

"Every day," Lily answered emphatically.

Anna nodded in understanding. "Sometimes, I still think my mother is with me too, even after almost 25 years."

This time, it was Lily’s turn to squeeze her partner’s hand in comfort. If she spent the next 60 years with this woman, it would not be enough to know her.

*  *  *

Chester greeted their arrival with his usual exuberance, barking deeply and wagging his tail with enthusiasm. Lily dropped down to wrestle with him in the family room as Anna went off to the kitchen to prepare his nightly feast. The basset hound had adjusted well to his move to LA, thanks especially to Anna, who spoiled him absolutely rotten. The only thing he was denied was the opportunity to fall asleep alongside the two-legged humans–as opposed to his own four-legged human self–in their bed. But they didn’t seem to mind that he joined them in the night.

Overwhelmed with excitement at the arrival of these larger people, Chester detoured from his dinner out the doggie door into the side yard for quick relief. Though genuinely confused at first, he had finally understood after all that they didn’t really like it when he peed in the kitchen.

"You know, I’ll never get tired of being greeted like that," Anna said. She had bonded with Chester the first time they met in San Jose, and had since become his favorite tall person. "Listen, I have to go into work for a couple of hours tomorrow. What if afterwards we take Chester for a long walk at Topanga? Maybe even take a picnic."

"Are you kidding? I’d love it!" Lily was used to fending for herself most Saturdays, sometimes stopping by the BMW lot just to see her girl in action.

"Then it’s a date. What do you want for dinner?"

It was already after nine, which would explain those hunger pangs. Lily scoured the refrigerator and cabinets for something appealing, finally settling on Anna’s favorite, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a glass of milk. "Want to take this upstairs and watch the news while we get ready for bed?"

"Sure. Let me take him for a quick W-A-L-K first, then I’ll lock up and come on up."

Chester began his happy dance, running back and forth from Anna to the family room, where she kept his leash. Apparently, the dog had learned to spell.

Twenty minutes later, the dark-haired woman returned to find her lover already in bed, a blob of strawberry jam painting the nightshirt she wouldn’t wear for long anyway. "Can I have the rest of that?" she asked, lowering her mouth to the stain just above the right breast.

"Mmm, why don’t you hand me your sandwich and I’ll smear that on me too?" Lily teased. This flirting was probably as close as they’d ever come to actually eating food from one another’s body.

"San Francisco police are reporting two arrests tonight in the murder of Peyton Graves. Details at eleven."

"Wow, did you hear that?"

"I hope they nail the bastards. That was awful."

Peyton Graves was a wealthy Bay Area publisher, and founder of the Open Lands Foundation, a group of philanthropists committed to buying up land to preserve for public use. He had briefly toyed with an independent gubernatorial run last year in order to force the Democratic incumbent back to his liberal roots. Both Anna and Lily had pledged their support during an LA fundraiser for the Foundation.

A decent man with a common touch, Graves had let down his guard, inviting a strike from society’s worst element. The would-be politician had been killed two months ago, apparently surprising burglars in his South of Market loft upon returning from a Warriors basketball game. He had obviously done something to anger his killers, as he was stabbed more than 20 times.

Her sandwich finished, Anna went into the bathroom to brush her teeth as the news theme began to play. From her position in the doorway, she watched the story unfold on screen: the file footage of the smiling philanthropist, then the crime scene, and now the SFPD news conference. Two shackled and handcuffed suspects–a man and a woman in their mid-20s–were shown at their arraignment.

"Gosh, put a short blonde wig on that woman, and she could be you," Anna said, barely loud enough for her partner to hear.

Lily watched in stunned fascination as the suspects’ names appeared on the screen: Kenneth McGinnis and Kristie Parker.

"Oh my god… I bet she’s my sister."

CHAPTER 5

I MMEDIATELY, THE BLONDE jabbed the remote, hoping to find the story playing elsewhere. Anna raced downstairs to the family room, where their HDTV was equipped with a personal video recorder. In moments, she was tracking the story, taping first on one channel then switching quickly to tape another.

"Did you get it?" Lily asked anxiously, rushing into the room at the commercial break.

"I think I got it on two stations, but only the last part. They were on it both times, though."

Lily hurried into the adjoining office, booting up the computer for an internet search. After what seemed an eternity, they finally logged into the web site for the San Francisco Chronicle. Sure enough, the story was there, along with mug shots of the suspects, including one Kristie Lynn Parker, age 24, last address unknown.

"What do you think?" Lily asked her partner nervously. It was certainly possible that she was overreacting.

"I don’t know. Was there anything about a sister in any of your adoption papers?"

"No, but according to this, she’s only 24. I was already seven when I was adopted, so she would have been born a year after that."

Anna shook her head, bemused by this incredible coincidence. "I don’t know, hon. There must be thousands of Parkers out there."

"Yeah, but this one lives in the Bay Area near my birth mother, and she happens to look just like me," she added grimly.

"Not just like you… similar, maybe. And Parker was probably her father’s last name." Anna could see how this was upsetting her lover. "Is there any way you could find out?"

Lily was already working on that in her head. She had lots of friends in law enforcement that might be able to help her track down information on the suspects, but it wasn’t likely any of that information would include a parent’s name. "I’ll try to call Andrew Shively tomorrow and see if he can help. If she got a driver’s license when she turned 16, there’s a chance she lived at the same address as Lisa Parker. That’s a long shot, though."

"What about Sandy?" Anna suggested.

"How would…? Anna, you’re a genius!" Given her own mother’s atrocious parenting skills, it was likely that any child of hers would have had a social worker somewhere along the way. "I can’t believe I didn’t think of that."

Anna was immensely pleased at her contribution. They needed to get to the bottom of this soon, or Lily would go nuts. "Can you call her tomorrow?"

"No, she and Suzanne were going to Vegas this weekend with Pam and Tina. They won’t be back until Sunday night."

"Then I guess we’ll have to wait." She reached over and wrapped an arm around the blonde woman’s shoulder. "You think you can last till then?"

"Guess I’ll have to," she said, still in disbelief at the possibilities. "Wouldn’t that be something if it turned out she’s really my sister? And she’s a murderer."

"You don’t know any of that yet. She’s just a suspect."

"Right." Maybe it all was a mistake. "I suppose we should go on to bed. Are we still on for a picnic tomorrow?" Lily knew she’d need lots of distractions to last until Sunday night when she could talk with her friend.

"Sure." Anna started turning off the lights while Lily shut down the computer.

Hours later, Lily lay awake, the picture of the green-eyed girl in the orange jumpsuit filling her thoughts.

*  *  *

"Hello."

"Lily? It’s Sandy. We just got in. What’s up?"

"Sandy… Anna, it’s Sandy!" she called excitedly to her lover. Lily had spent much of the weekend downloading and studying all of the stories from the weekend newspapers, even going to the airport both days to buy a Chronicle. Quickly, she related to her friend the story of the woman charged with Peyton Graves’ murder and asked if there was a way to go back several years in the system to trace any past interventions. "I think she may be my sister, Sandy. Her last name’s Parker, and I swear she looks just like me."

"Your sister? You mean Lisa Parker had another child?" Sandy had gone with her friend to Oakland last year on a clandestine mission to see what had become of Lily’s mother. They had found her working as a cocktail waitress at a Holiday Inn near the airport.

"I’m not sure. That’s what I need you to find out. Can you look in the system and see if there’s anything for a Kristie Lynn Parker?" Lily spelled the name as it appeared in the news reports. "I don’t know how far back to tell you to go. She’s 24 now."

"I’ll give it a shot, but I can’t monitor it while I’m out of the office. It may take a few days to get the results."

"That’s okay. I’ll appreciate anything at all you can do, Sandy."

*  *  *

Lily resisted the urge to call her friend on Monday, but early Tuesday morning she had left a message with more detail on the Parker woman: her date of birth, which Andrew Shively had gotten from a friend in San Francisco who had a copy of her arrest report, and the correct spelling of her first name, K-r-i-s-t-y. That might possibly narrow Sandy’s search.

By Wednesday Lily was beside herself, unable to concentrate on her work. "Sandy Henke please… I see… Has she been in the office today?" She knew it was too much to expect that Sandy would forego her regular duties in the field just to check on her computer output. For all Lily knew, the social worker hadn’t even had a chance to run the request yet.

At five o’clock, she said goodnight to her coworkers and headed to her AA meeting at the women’s clinic. Lost in thought in the stop and go traffic of the Santa Monica Freeway, Lily was startled by the beeping of her cell phone. Anna.

Anna was worried about her partner. Lily had been totally absorbed in the news out of San Francisco, not eating as she should, and unable to sleep through the night. They needed some resolution to this soon, one way or another.

"Hey baby," she answered.

"Hey yourself. Are you going to your meeting?"

"As we speak. Though judging by all the ‘Easy Does It’ and ‘One Day at a Time’ bumper stickers I’ve seen, there are probably enough of us out here on this freeway to have a meeting on our own."

"What time do you think you’ll be home?"

"Probably a little after seven. How about you?"

"I’ll try to get there sooner. You want me to pick up Chinese?"

"That’d be great."

"Okay, babe. See ya then."

Lily loved it when Anna called her babe.

*  *  *

Lily booted up the computer as soon as she walked in the door, eager to search for today’s news about the Peyton Graves murder case. "Anna?"

"In here. I have dinner."

"Okay. I’ll be there in a minute. I just want to check to see if there are any updates."

Anna came into the office and stood in the doorway. There was no distracting Lily from this obsession. Though she hadn’t been direct…

"How about you come in and have dinner with me first this time? Then I can go on upstairs with a book and you can stay down here half the night again."

Lily froze. That was a tone she hadn’t heard in a really long time. Her first instinct was to bristle and fire off a snippy reply. But better judgment ruled the moment, and instead she simply nodded and followed her partner into the kitchen.

"Anna, I’m sorry I’ve been so crazy this week. I just wish I knew something."

"It’s okay. I understand how important all this is to you, but you need to eat and you need to rest." Anna dished out the shrimp and snow peas onto mounds of steaming rice and set them on the small table in the breakfast nook. "And I was hoping we could spend a little time together tonight."

Lily couldn’t help but smile at her partner’s admission. She was lucky to have this woman in her life. Reaching across the table, she covered the larger hand with her own. "Tell you what. When we’re done here, give me 10 minutes to check the Chronicle site, and I’ll come upstairs."

Anna smiled as her mind raced ahead. "Deal."

Two quick rings announced a call on Lily’s line. "What’s your guess? Telemarketer or a survey?" The Laws of Annoyance said if you were eating dinner, it had to be one or the other.

"Uh… survey," Anna guessed. The telemarketers had already called three nights in a row.

"Hello… Sandy!"

Anna got up and went to stand beside her lover at the phone. Though both had been eager for news, now she found herself nervous at actually knowing for sure.

Lily drew in a deep breath and covered the mouthpiece. "Kristy’s mom is Lisa Parker," she confirmed flatly, without giving away her state of mind.

Anna put her hand on her partner’s back, not knowing at all what to expect when she got off the phone.

"Can I come get them now?" she asked. "Great! I’ll be there in half an hour. You’re the best, Sandy."

"What is it, Lily?"

"She got the match with the date of birth. Then she found some of the old reports. That’s what she printed out, so I’m going to drive over and get them," she stated, her voice now shaking with tension.

"You want some company?"

Lily nodded, relieved that Anna wouldn’t make her go alone. She had worried earlier that her partner wasn’t going to indulge this obsession much longer.

"Let’s go, then. I’ll drive."

*  *  *

Sandy had spread all 11 reports across their dining room table. The record of Kristy Parker’s childhood was stark evidence of what might have happened to her friend had social services not aggressively intervened. That someone dropped the ball on the younger sister was evident, but it was clear that Lisa Parker hadn’t stood in the way of a better placement. In fact, it appeared as though she hadn’t been particularly interested in holding on to this second child at all.

"They’re here," Suzanne called, spotting the sports car turning into the drive. Stepping out onto the front porch, she greeted the women as they charged up the steps.

"Hi Suzanne," Anna remembered her manners even if Lily did not. The attorney barreled directly through the door in search of her friend.

"Here it is," Sandy announced. "Pretty classic neglect and abuse. We’ve got five different interventions where Kristy was removed from the home. Two of them were neglect, two were physical abuse, and the other was suspected sexual abuse by Lisa Parker’s boyfriend, but none resulted in any criminal charges."

Lily shuddered at the news, knowing well that few children who grew up like that were capable of a normal life. A silent rage simmered as she picked up the first report. "Is this all?"

"I think so. I started the run on Monday, working backwards through the records, but I didn’t have anything when I checked back. When you gave me the date of birth and the new spelling, I put in another query working forward from that date, and that’s when I started getting hits. But I had to wait to check them until everybody went home tonight."

"Why was that?" Anna asked.

"Well, technically this kind of thing is a no-no. I could get into trouble for misusing my access to information, but I’ve been with the state so long, I’d probably have to kill somebody to get fired."

Lily shot her an annoyed look.

"Oops, sorry. Poor choice of words." Sandy wasn’t all that surprised that Kristy Parker had ended up behind bars, given her history. That Lily hadn’t also was something for which they owed Eleanor Stuart thanks.

Lily paged through one report after another, noting various social workers’ observations that Lisa’s parenting–or lack thereof–always stopped just short of criminal. Obviously, the woman was mindful of what might lead her back to prison, and clearly she didn’t want to go. "This last report was when Kristy was 14 years old. Do you think you’ll find more?"

"I doubt it. If you look at the last paragraph of that one, it says she ran away from her foster home. Lisa denied knowing where she was, but the social worker suspected she was back with her mother. They probably just closed her case on her 18th birthday, without a clue of where she was."

Lily dropped the report in disgust. "And that, ladies, is why so many kids need a guardian ad litem. I can’t believe they didn’t even pursue it."

The blonde was treading dangerously close to Sandy’s turf. "Come on, Lily. You know what the case loads are like. Social workers don’t have the means to chase kids who don’t want to be found."

"I know, Sandy," she conceded sheepishly. "I just wish she’d had somebody looking out for her back then. Then maybe a good man like Peyton Graves wouldn’t be dead."

*  *  *

"So what do you think about all of this?" Lily asked as they drove home in the darkness. She’d sensed from their earlier near-argument that Anna was losing patience, but she’d seemed very interested in what Sandy had discovered.

"I think it’s all pretty incredible. It’s amazing to me how you always seemed to know it was her, but I have to admit I had the same feeling that first night we saw her on the news."

"It’s really ironic. After all these years, I find out that I have a sister. And, oh by the way, she’s a murderer."

"We still don’t know that, Lily. Innocent until proven guilty, right?"

"It’s supposed to be that way. But I know they don’t lock people up and deny bail without having a pretty good case."

Anna had to agree. She’d read every article Lily printed out, and the prosecution was predicting a conviction already. Still, they hadn’t released any information on their evidence, and it wasn’t clear how McGinnis and Parker had been identified as the perpetrators.

"Maybe I should go see her," Lily wondered aloud.

Anna knew how important this new revelation was to her partner, and she wanted to be supportive. Still, she’d have to admit that the idea of Lily corresponding with a murderer was unsettling, to say the least.

"Why on earth would you want to do that? You don’t know this woman at all, Lily."

"You’re right, but shouldn’t I try to know her? She’s my sister."

"Just because you had the same mother?

Lily sighed in exasperation. How could she expect her lover to understand? "Anna… I don’t have any other family."

"That’s not true and you know it." Anna reached over and took her partner’s hand. "I’m family, and my family is yours too."

"I know, but you know what I mean."

"No, Lily. I really don’t. Kim and I don’t share a drop of blood, but she is my sister."

"But you were raised together, and you had people in common. I have people in common with Kristy, so in a way we shared an upbringing. Just not at the same time."

"What would you talk about with her? Would you commiserate about Lisa?" Anna was frustrated, feeling that the only thing that could come of Lily’s meeting Kristy would be heartache.

Lily was silent for a long time, seeking a way to make her partner understand. "I could have been her so easily."

"But you weren’t. And going to her now to show her what she might have been could only hurt both of you."

Anna’s mention of Lisa made Lily shudder, reminding her that she was far removed from her life as a Parker. The trip to Oakland last year had affirmed that she wanted nothing to do with her past. Anna was right, and Lily gently squeezed the hand that held hers in silent thanks. "You’re right, sweetheart. I don’t know what I was thinking."

CHAPTER 6

"H ERE’S A HEADLINE you’ll like." Anna tossed the A-section of Sunday’s LA Times across the patio table.

"Which one?" Lily quickly scanned the front page, watchful of a story on the Peyton Graves case. "Oh, I see it. ‘Earthquake prediction model faulty, geologist says’. That’s hilarious. You’re getting pretty good at this, Amazon."

"I had a good teacher." Anna grinned at her partner, who was buried in the state section. "Did you find anything today?"

"No, not yet. I’m not all the way through it, though." Every day for the past four weeks, Lily had scoured the paper for news. Little by little, evidence had been released that incriminated the two suspects: hair strands at the scene, traces of Graves’ blood found on Parker’s jeans, and pawn tickets among their things for items belonging to the murdered man. Neither suspect was cooperating with authorities.

"Could I interest you in–"

"Here’s something! It’s just a snippet, but I bet there’s more on the web. It says ‘San Francisco. A grand jury indictment in hand, District Attorney Warren Hasner has asked that a trial date be set for Kenneth McGinnis and Kristy Parker, both charged in the death of billionaire philanthropist Peyton Graves. Hasner indicated that the heinous nature of the crime warrants the death penalty for both suspects in the case.’ Good god, Anna. Kristy could get the death penalty."

Anna shook her head in disbelief. Neither woman cared much for the idea of capital punishment; the recognition that it could impact someone they indirectly knew made it especially distasteful.

"Easy, babe. She hasn’t even had a trial yet."

"You’ve seen the kind of evidence they have. It’s going to be pretty hard to explain it all away." Lily was resigned to her sister’s guilt, though in her heart of hearts, she’d hoped it had all been a big mistake.

*  *  *

The attorney lugged her briefcase into her office and heaved it onto her desk. She’d had 13 placement reviews today, a new single-day record. Funny how part-time work could eat up 40 hours a week like this job sometimes did.

As far as scheduling, it was nice to know in advance that most of her children’s hearings would be on Thursdays in Judge Evans’ family court. Over the years, she’d developed a good working relationship with the irascible Rusty Evans, a grandfatherly sort with a real soft spot for the welfare of kids. Lily knew better than to enter his courtroom unprepared.

All in all, the attorney’s day had been successful. Most of the cases were run-of-the-mill, usually recommendations for continuation of current placements, though a couple were denied and the children were returned to their parents. She’d obtained speech therapy services for a girl in foster care, and gotten two of her charges wait-listed for group homes. The last case was unusual and brought a smile to her face as she recalled Judge Evans’ befuddled look as she made her request. She’d managed to secure a special provision that would allow a teenager currently finishing a long stint in a juvenile detention facility the space and time to practice his saxophone. A job in his cousin’s weekend wedding band awaited his release and that, she argued, might just be the best way to put distance between the youth and his gang activities.

"Here are your messages, Lily," Pauline said, handing her a small stack of the pink and blue forms. "Sandy called three times, but she was on her way to a training session the last time she called. She said she’d stop by your house tonight about eight if that was okay. Otherwise, just leave a message on her voice mail."

That’s odd. Lily couldn’t imagine what would be so important that it wouldn’t wait until tomorrow.

"Okay, thanks Pauline." The attorney deposited the files in her outbox so that their part-time clerk could transcribe her handwritten notes into the electronic version of the case files. With only 30 minutes before the close of business, she sat at her desk to return her other calls.

*  *  *

"I’m next!" Lily announced from the kitchen as she heard her partner warmly greet the excited basset hound.

"Okay, but for the same treatment, you’ll have to lick my face too," the car dealer answered, following her nose to the boiling pot on the stove.

"On second thought, maybe I’ll pass. That dog licks his balls, you know, and if he’s been licking your face, I don’t think…”

"You’re disgusting," Anna replied, suddenly snaring the smaller woman and rubbing her slobbery cheeks all over Lily’s face.

"Ewwww! Lily finally squirmed free of the assault. "Ball face."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"What’s for dinner?"

"Meat balls and Brussels sprouts," the cook deadpanned.

"You’re disgusting," the car dealer repeated.

"Would you believe pasta primavera?"

"That’s better. I’ll set the table. Do I have time to change?" Anna carried plates, napkins and silverware to the breakfast nook. Unless they entertained indoors–which was exactly twice in the last two years–the dining room was wasted space, often littered with accounting printouts from Premier Motors.

"Sure, as long as you wash your face. Sandy’s coming by around eight."

"What for?"

"I don’t know. She left a message at work. Suzanne’s birthday’s next month, so maybe she wants to talk about a surprise party or something." If not something like that, Lily couldn’t imagine the reason for her friend’s seeming urgency. "Why don’t you set an extra place, in case she wants to join us?"

The hour came and went with no visitor. When they finished dinner, the pair cleaned up the kitchen and settled into their respective routines, Anna with her magazines and the Dodgers game on TV, Lily on the internet looking for news on the upcoming Graves trial.

It was closer to 8:30 when the social worker arrived, waving off the invitation for a bite to eat. Ushered into the family room, Sandy took a seat on the sofa beside her friend, her hand gripping a manila folder.

"So what’s up? We don’t often get the pleasure of your company." Anna discerned immediately from the look on Sandy’s face that this wasn’t a social call.

The social worker took a deep breath and began. "Lily, remember last month when you asked me to run that query on Kristy Parker?"

"Yeah." The blonde suddenly found her stomach in knots. She hoped her friend hadn’t gotten into trouble because of the favor.

"Well, after I gave you those reports, I never went back to see if there was anything else. So this morning, our IT guy was cleaning out the document queue, and he brought me two reports. There were a couple more hits for Kristy Parker." Nervously, Sandy opened the folder and pulled out the papers. "It looks like she has a little boy of her own, and he’s currently somewhere in the foster care system in San Francisco."

CHAPTER 7

T HE BLONDE WOMAN’S face went almost white as she digested the news. "A little boy?"

"Yeah, here’s the report. His name is Andres and he turns four next month. The first report has him taken out of the home because Kristy OD’d and ended up in the hospital. But he went back after about five months and stayed with her another year or so. The second time was a voluntary surrender."

Lily knew that voluntary surrenders were very rare. Usually they needed police to take children into protective custody. "What happened?"

"It was just over a year ago, it looks like she had to take him to the doctor. According to the social worker’s notes, he’d been abused and they involved the authorities. Kristy said she didn’t know who did it, but that there wasn’t any way to keep him safe. So they persuaded her just to turn him over."

Lily was relieved to think that her sister had at least made a mature decision regarding the child’s safety, though she suspected that it had more to do with not wanting the added obligation. That had been her case with Lisa.

"And did they sever parental rights?" That was key to having the child eligible for adoption.

"No, it looks like they left it open for her to get him back if her home situation changed."

"Well it’s certainly changed now." Anna finally spoke. She’d been listening to the story, and watching her partner’s face, wondering how she felt about this new development.

Lily looked fleeting at Anna then turned back to her friend. "Where is he now?"

"I’m not sure. I’d guess he’s in a foster home, probably still in San Francisco, but the specific locations are coded so that the information is secure."

Lily knew that parents sometimes tried to abduct their children from foster care, so it was important to keep their placements secret if possible.

"Can we find him? I mean just to see if he’s okay?" She glanced uncertainly at Anna to gauge the woman’s reaction. After thinking over her partner’s cautions about making contact with Kristy, Lily had conceded that it would serve no purpose. But this was different. What if this little boy needs help?

"Maybe, but you’ll have to get in touch with the office up there. His social worker is John Moss. I can search the state directory tomorrow and call you with his direct number. But he might not tell you anything. In fact, he could get in trouble if he did."

Lily nodded in understanding, poring over the reports her friend had brought for details on the child. "Well I can try, right?" Nervously, she looked at her partner, pleading silently for approval to pursue this.

"Yeah, you should at least try to find out how he is," Anna agreed. She was rewarded immediately by the relief on Lily’s face.

*  *  *

"I appreciate your help, officers. If there’s ever anything I can do for you, just let me know." Anna walked the two uniformed cops back to their cruiser.

Vandals had paid a visit to the VW dealership overnight, leaving 62 flat tires, one for each auto on the front lot. The scene was eerie when she arrived before eight this morning after answering her father’s call. Each car tipped slightly, though the direction varied depending on which tire was punctured.

Their insurance would cover the damage, and already a crew was hard at work replacing the damaged tires. At least the video surveillance had captured the entire episode, and one of the teenagers was well known by the officers on this beat. It was just a matter of time before the police apprehended the boy and his cohorts, but Anna knew from Lily’s work with troubled kids and families that the solution usually wasn’t as simple as arrest and punishment.

As mood modifiers go, this senseless destruction of property was definitely a downer. The car dealer needed a couple of aspirin for the migraine that was threatening.

"Anna Kaklis, you have a call on line two. Anna Kaklis on two," the loudspeaker blared.

We need to drop the volume on that thing, she thought, heading inside to the nearest empty cubicle. "This is Anna Kaklis. Can I help you?"

"Hi hon."

"Lily! What did you find out?"

"I struck out. Sandy was right about the social worker not telling me anything." She had called as soon as she’d gotten Moss’ direct number, only to be told adamantly that he couldn’t give out that information.

Anna was genuinely sorry for her partner’s disappointment. "Well at least you tried, sweetheart. You knew it was a long shot." Anna held the silent phone for 10 full seconds. "Lily, are you still there?"

"Yeah… I made an appointment to see John Moss in person on Monday morning." There, she’d gotten it out. Now she braced for Anna’s reprisal, knowing her lover would object to her headstrong action.

A panic rushed through Anna as she suddenly imagined that her partner would return with a small child in tow. But Lily wouldn’t make a decision like that by herself. Anna knew that her partner’s world had been rocked with the news of Kristy, and now with Andres. Lily needed her support to come to terms with what it all meant.

"You’re not… never mind," she said with trepidation.

"Is it okay?"

"Of course it’s okay. Why wouldn’t it be?" The car dealer’s voice took on an agitated intonation as her headache grew more pronounced by the second.

"Please don’t be upset, Anna. Can we talk about this tonight?" she asked hopefully. Ever since they’d discovered that Kristy had a child, she could sense a nervousness in her partner. What’s got her on edge?

Anna sighed, pressing two fingers hard just above her left brow. "Lily, I’m not upset. Well, actually I am, but not with you. You know how annoying a flat tire can be?"

"You had a flat tire?"

"I had 62 of them."

*  *  *

By noon that same day, Anna was back in bed, having thrown up three times already. Drugged sleep was the only relief for headaches like this one. It had gotten so bad that her father had driven her home, a salesman following in Anna’s Z8.

It was Saturday morning before she and her partner were able to talk at all. Anna was still wary of the tension a serious conversation might bring.

"So how much of that headache is my fault?" the blonde asked, her feelings of guilt obvious.

"It isn’t your fault at all," Anna answered quietly, sipping the hot tea with her dry toast. Yesterday’s breakfast was too strong a memory to repeat. "I know that the boy is on your mind, Lily, but I’m not really up to talking about it just yet if that’s okay."

"Of course. Is there anything I can do?" Lily knew the answer already. Anna’s migraines had to run their course.

"No, I’m just going to take it easy today."

"Okay. Maybe I’ll take Chester for a walk on one of the trails. That way, you’ll have some peace and quiet."

Anna nodded, knowing she’d be back in bed soon to chase away the remnants. They needed to talk, but she just wasn’t up to it.

An hour later, the happy hound was walking his mistress around the lake at the Kenneth Hahn Recreation Area. Lily hadn’t felt much like gearing up for a rugged hike, even though Chester always managed to hold his own. This mindless meander through a family-filled park gave her time to think about what awaited her in San Francisco on Monday.

Andres Parker. Like Kristy and herself, this child carried only his mother’s name. The given name suggested that his father–who Moss had said was deceased–might have been Latino. If history was repeating itself, the boy’s first four years had probably been a nightmare.

Lily had decided she would take her adoption papers along to her meeting, hoping they’d help prove that her name too was Parker. That might be enough to convince them to check the state’s database, which would show that she and Kristy had the same mother.

John Moss had listened skeptically as she’d told him of her relationship to the notorious criminal. When Andres, or Andy as he was called, was first removed from the home, he had located only one relative, a Lisa Parker Haney, Kristy’s mother. Determining quickly that she wasn’t a fit custodian, Moss shuffled the child off to professional foster parents. Other than these few details, the social worker hadn’t been forthcoming at all, but he was willing to meet with Lily face to face if she was interested in following up.

And she was definitely interested in following up. Something deep inside called to her to see about this child, if only to ensure that he was alright. It was, after all, her job to monitor the welfare of thousands of children who were unknown to her. The least she could do was see to it that this one, who happened to share her blood, was safe and in a setting that provided the best care.

The rest of Saturday passed without a chance for the two women to talk. Anna slept off and on, her migraine medication stealing both her appetite and affect. Lily knew the drill: dark and quiet.

*  *  *

Anna awoke in the night disoriented by the darkness, having slept so much of the past two days. Lily lay beside her, the even breaths a sign of her sound sleep. She needs it, Anna thought. Lily hadn’t slept well at all on Thursday night after they learned of Andres, and she’d probably slept little the night before. And she’ll be a nervous wreck all weekend.

The dark-haired woman sensed a dramatic response in her partner to this news of a child; and truth be told, Anna too found herself emotionally drawn to the events of the past few weeks, but especially to the discovery of the young boy. Despite her initial reservations about Lily going to San Francisco–why on earth had she thought that Lily would simply bring the child home–Anna was glad that her partner was following up. She hoped Lily would find him healthy and happy, and that he might be able to have the same chance as she to escape a tenuous start in life.

*  *  *

Anna finally crawled out of bed for good early Sunday morning, leaving her partner sound asleep. After a quick shower, she headed downstairs to forage for food, having eaten very little in the last two days.

Chester was glad to see the tall person up and about so early, as it meant his breakfast was imminent. Of course, he needed first to see a man about a dog.

"You’re a good boy, Chester," the tall woman said as he returned through the doggie door. For some reason, the two-legged people really liked it whenever he went, whether on the leash or in the yard. And when he… ahem… they always collected it, presumably saving it for something very important.

"You’re up early," came a raspy voice from the doorway.

"Yeah, I think 30 hours of sleep is enough for anybody. Did I wake you?"

"Just by being gone," Lily said sleepily. She had rolled over to caress an empty bed.

"The coffee will be ready in a minute." Anna delivered a kiss to her lover’s forehead.

"Great. How’s your headache?"

"It’s gone now. I appreciate you looking after me."

"You didn’t exactly require round-the-clock care."

"I know. But you were really quiet, and you kept Chester busy. And I saw you come in to check on me a couple of times." There wasn’t really much one could do when she was in the throes of a migraine.

"Well I’m glad you’re feeling better. You want me to fix breakfast?"

"No, I think I’ll stick with cereal."

"I’ll go get the paper then." Lily walked out the front door to the driveway, a spectacle in her plaid flannel boxers and faded purple tank top with the hand-sized hole in the back. Her blonde hair stood straight up on one side, and was perfectly flat everywhere else. Anna thought she looked adorable.

As was their habit, the women perused the Sunday paper on the patio by the pool, Chester lounging underneath in case they dropped the corner of a muffin or a pat of butter–or even better, the corner of a buttered muffin.

"So what do you hope to find in San Francisco?" Anna asked without looking up from the paper.

Lily dropped the sports page and drew a deep breath. Not wanting to trigger another headache for her lover, she hoped they weren’t headed for a confrontation.

"I just want to find out how he is," she offered.

Anna’s blue eyes met hers with undeniable conviction. "I’m glad you’re going. I think it’s the right thing."

Lily had heard wrong, or the mushrooms in her omelet were of the hallucinogenic variety. ‘You do?"

Anna nodded, smiling softly. "Yes, I do." Setting the paper down, the tall woman leaned back and folded her arms across her chest, looking away in thought for a moment, then back at her green-eyed lover. Serious Talk Time. "I woke up last night and laid there for a long time thinking about it. I don’t know exactly why, but I’m anxious about him too. And I can see that this is important to you."

"It is. I can’t explain why, because I don’t really know myself. Maybe it’s because I know what it was like for him. Anna, he’s the same age I was when I was put up for adoption."

Anna nodded again in understanding. "You should go see about him. Do you need me to do anything?"

Lily found herself suddenly overwhelmed at how deeply she loved this beautiful woman. "No, I don’t think so. I’m just going to fly up in the morning and come right back tomorrow. I called Tony already to let him know I’d be out all day."

"Okay, but if you think of something, let me know."

"I will. And thank you, sweetheart. For everything."

*  *  *

Sundays were special. The women did relaxing things, like lingering over the Sunday paper, cooking something adventurous, usually finishing their day in the pool or hot tub. In amongst those things, they usually found time for savoring one another.

Today, it started when they passed one another in the kitchen, the ritual flirtation beginning with a casual touch, a suggestive look, and a promising smile. Then more deliberate, with a firm caress and a passionate kiss. The taller woman led the way to the top of the stairs, her chest pounding hard in anticipation of what was to come.

Lily doffed her clothes the moment they reached the unmade bed, pulling Anna’s shirt up as they lowered themselves, locked in a fiery kiss. Somehow, the shorts and panties disappeared as well and soon their naked bodies were sliding against one another across the cool cotton sheets. Two sets of hands pulled the other closer until finally Lily’s fingers slid below the curved buttocks, and through her lover’s slippery center. "Roll onto your stomach," she whispered, and Anna complied, clutching the pillow that would soon stifle her cries. The blonde woman drew alongside, draping her knee between the long shapely thighs to urge them further apart. "Open for me."

Anna’s spread her thighs and soon her fervent want demanded that she rise to meet the gently probing fingers, drawing up her knees so she could drive against the pressure of her lover’s touch.

"You’re so beautiful," Lily told her, taking in the magnificent sight as she watched her fingers disappear inside. Both women relished the intimacy of this exchange, the prone partner fully exposed in complete surrender.

"God, Lily," she moaned, rocking breathlessly at the three fingers that filled her. "God, you feel so good."

"Tell me when it’s time." Lily’s breath was now mere inches from the writhing woman’s ear, and her whispered words spoke to Anna’s very core.

Anna moaned her agreement, trying hard to temper her need. She wanted this to last. Closing her eyes tightly, she climbed higher as her lover continued the rhythmic caress.

"Now," Anna begged.

Lily rose to her knees, circling her free hand underneath to cradle Anna’s hips. Finally, she slipped a single fingertip through the curly triangle, stopping when she found the hardened nub that would unlock the imminent explosion.

"Oh god!" The rocking grew frantic. "Li-ly," she moaned, sucking in a final deep breath and holding it while the orgasm hovered.

"That’s it, baby. Come for me." Lily felt the sudden sharp squeeze from the walls inside, the rapid pulsing that followed signaling a powerful climax.

Her body shaking, Anna buried her reddened face into the pillow and screamed her release.

Lily slowed her tandem strokes and gently drew her fingers from within.

Inch by inch, Anna lowered herself to the bed as she caught her breath, once again stretching her legs until she was completely prone.

Lily slid closer to rest across her back, her own wet curls nestling against the curve of Anna’s hip. "I love you so much," she sighed, feeling at that moment like the most special person in the universe because of what they had just shared.

*  *  *

The blonde figure rose gingerly from the bed, ever mindful of what "they" say about paybacks. Anna had delivered on her vow to love her until she walked funny, but every twinge would be a pleasant reminder of their afternoon and evening together.

"Honey, are you okay?" the dark-haired woman mumbled without opening her eyes.

"I’m fine. Go back to sleep," she coaxed, rubbing her hand softly across her lover’s back.

"What time is it?"

"It’s a quarter after four. I need to get in the shower. My plane leaves at 7:05."

Lily slipped into the bathroom and closed the door, hoping to shield the sleeping woman from the light and noise of her morning routine. A simple olive-green dress already hung on the back of door; in fact, everything she’d need sat waiting by the sunken oval tub.

Stepping into the warm shower, her thoughts traveled north to San Francisco. Maybe I can even see him today. She hoped John Moss would understand her concern and see her as a potential ally in securing the best placement and care for the boy.

Other than a name and birthday, Lily knew almost nothing about Andy Parker. Who was his father? Was he healthy? Did he have any special needs? Was he a happy child? What did he look like? In just the last year in foster care, he had already lived in four different homes. From her experience with the foster care system, that was a red flag; usually signaling a child who had difficulty adjusting to his or her environment, or a child with unmanageable needs.

The bigger question for Lily was what she would do if she found him? If his care was inadequate, how could she help him? Certainly, if there were legal matters involved, she could advise and assist, but the fact remained that she lacked standing; that is, she couldn’t simply insert herself into the decision-making process where this child was concerned unless she formally declared herself a relative. And that might require a face-to-face meeting with a murderer.

Lily shook the excess water from her hair even as she shook off the image of the green-eyed woman in handcuffs. By the time she’d dressed and applied the barest hint of makeup her hair was almost dry, sparing Anna the noise of the blower at barely five a.m. Turning off the light, Lily tiptoed back to the bed to deposit a soft kiss on Anna’s temple.

"Lily?"

"Yes, honey. Sorry I woke you."

"It’s alright." Anna rolled over onto her back. "I think I’ll get up now anyway."

"You can still sleep another hour." Lily felt guilty for robbing her lover of her rest.

"Fly safely, okay?"

"Of course. And in the unlikely event of a water landing…”

Both women chuckled.

"Good luck today."

"Thank you."

"Do you know what you want to find?"

"Yes." Lily wanted for Andy what she wanted for every child. "I want to see him healthy and happy, and surrounded by people that really care about him."

CHAPTER 8

T HE BLONDE WAITED nervously in the reception area of the busy government office, hoping this wouldn’t be a wasted trip. John Moss was 45 minutes late, apparently called out this morning by police to a domestic disturbance involving children. Lily understood these emergencies–she herself had worked cases like these as an attorney–but hoped that Moss could resolve the matter and still have time to meet with her today.

Everywhere she looked, people were on the phone or scrolling through information on their desktop monitors. About half the desks were empty, their owners likely in the field checking on the status of their charges. The waiting area was overflowing.

"Is there a Lilian Stuart here?" A middle-aged woman stepped up to the other side of the long counter.

"Yes, right here." The attorney hurried up to the counter with her purse and folders. Thank goodness!

"I have a message for you from John Moss. He’s going to be tied up for another hour or two. He apologizes, but he’s dealing with an emergency this morning."

"It’s okay. I understand." It would serve no useful purpose to complain, and Lily knew from experience that no one else in the office would be able to help. Besides, it was possible that Mr. Moss would feel guilty for having her cool her heels, and would be more cooperative about Andy.

Turning back to the waiting area, Lily discovered to her chagrin that her chair had been taken.

"Excuse me, but would you ask Mr. Moss to–?" Just like that, the woman had disappeared. Great.

Lily fished out her cell phone and dialed Moss’ direct number, leaving a message that she was going for coffee and would be back in the office at 11:30, one hour from now. Leaving her callback number, she tucked her belongings and headed for the elevator.

No sooner had she stepped from the building than her phone rang, the caller ID registering an unknown local number.

"Lilian Stuart."

"Ms. Stuart, John Moss here. Listen, I’m sorry to keep you waiting. I called right back and was told you’d left, so I was really glad you left your number."

"I’m glad I did too."

"Yeah. So I’ve been stuck waiting for a policeman to sign a release form but he just did, so I’m leaving the scene now. Why don’t you meet me downstairs in 20 minutes, and we’ll grab some coffee and talk about Andy Parker."

"That’d be great, Mr. Moss."

"John. Mr. Moss was my dad."

"John. I’m Lily, and I’ll be right here in front of the building."

True to his word, 20 minutes later a slender man in his late 30s rounded the corner and strode toward the pacing blonde. Dressed in khaki chinos and tweed blazer, his striped tie hung loosely from the collar of his denim shirt. The man was only a few inches taller than Lily, and wavy brown hair receded slightly from his forehead.

"Lily Stuart?"

"That’s me," Lily answered, locking her best smile in place as she held out her hand. She needed to win this man over.

"John Moss. Nice to meet you, and I’m really sorry I kept you waiting."

"That’s alright. I understand. It happens to me in my work all the time."

"Oh yeah? What kind of work do you do?" He gestured with his hand in the direction of the coffee shop.

"I’m an attorney… a family attorney. Mostly I advise the guardian ad litem program in LA." She wanted this man to know that she knew her stuff, but also that she was his comrade, one of the good guys.

The social worker stopped abruptly on the sidewalk. "Uh, would you mind terribly showing me some ID?"

Lily smiled, actually appreciating the level of this man’s scrutiny.

Moss inspected the driver’s license and handed it back, satisfied that this was indeed the Lilian NMI Stuart who had shown up in his records last Friday afternoon as the adopted daughter of Eleanor Stuart, birth daughter of Lisa Parker.

"So as a family attorney, you’re aware of all the privacy restrictions in place regarding the kids in state custody."

"Yes, I am. But we covered that on the phone last week, so I hoped we could move on to why you offered to have me come up anyway. Surely if there was no way I could get information on this child, you’d have told me so then and saved me this trip."

"I was… intrigued."

"Intrigued?"

"Yeah, I actually didn’t believe you. I thought you were another reporter. A guy called last month trying to find Andy so he could do some kind of ‘bad seeds’ story, blaming everything on the failures of the system."

"You thought I was a reporter?"

"Yeah, but I did some checking on Friday afternoon and found your adoption records. They were never sealed, you know, so linking you to Lisa Parker was actually pretty easy. So was linking Kristy Parker. And you kind of look like her, by the way."

"Actually, since I’m older, she looks like me," she corrected cordially. "So now that you’re convinced that I’m related to Andy, does that mean you’ll tell me about him?"

"I am satisfied that you’re related to him, but I’m going to want to know more before I give away any confidential information."

"What do you want to know?" Lily’s heart was starting to race. She couldn’t believe she was this close to finding out something.

"Mostly I just want to know what’s in this for you." In Starbucks, they each got black coffee and climbed the spiral staircase to a small table in the loft overlooking the entrance.

"I don’t want anything at all, if that’s what you’re asking. I just need to know that he’s alright." That was the simple answer. The why was elusive, even to her. "I’ve been there, and I can only imagine what kind of parent Kristy Parker was, given that Lisa Parker raised her. If there is anything I want, it’s my peace of mind."

"And what if he isn’t alright?"

Lily’s stomach lurched. "Does that mean he isn’t?"

"I didn’t say that. I just want to know what you plan to do if you find out… say, that things aren’t as good for him as they should be, or even that they could be. What will you do?"

"I… think that I would… try to do whatever I could to make it better. Maybe ask for a new placement, or better services. It would depend on the circumstances." Lily was starting to feel like a dog that had chased a car and actually caught it.

"And would you ask as Andy’s aunt? Or as a lawyer? Or as your garden variety critic of the system?"

"I… really don’t know the answer to that," she replied nervously. He was really putting her on the spot. "I’m not a critic of the system anymore than you are, though. In a way, I’m a part of it too."

"Let me phrase it another way, Lily. If you found Andy’s situation to be lacking, would you be willing to take him into your home… as his aunt?" It wasn’t often that Moss talked with relatives of children like Andy who were educated professionals. If the Italian handbag and shoes were any indication, Lily’s husband was probably making a pretty good living too.

"You’re not trying to clear your caseload here, are you?" she asked, half teasing, half serious. Besides, her question might deflect his, as she definitely wasn’t ready to answer his.

"Not at all," the social worker replied calmly, not offended by her innuendo. "You strike me as the kind of person who cares about the kids you work with, and you should know that I’m that kind of person too. I care about Andy, and I want what’s best for him."

Lily turned red at the gentle reproach. John Moss had all the traits of a first-rate social worker. If she weren’t able to see for herself how Andy was doing, she was at least relieved to know that the boy had this kind of advocate.

"I think I can tell that about you, John."

"So to answer my question… are you interested in custody?"

The shake of the blonde head was barely perceptible. "I’m not looking for that."

"Too bad. I would like very much to place Andy with a relative who can give him some stability. Nobody really knows how all this is going to be resolved, but if Kristy Parker’s convicted, we’re probably going to move to sever parental rights."

"And then he’ll be eligible for adoption, right?" Like she had been at four years old.

"Yes."

"And what do you think of his chances?"

Moss still wore his poker face. "I honestly don’t know. What kind of life would you want for him?" The social worker sensed that there was more to Lily’s interest than simple affirmation that the child was alright. Her emotions were very close to the surface, and soon she would spill it.

"I want him to be saved from all of this. I want him to be loved, and to be able to grow up without having to be part of his past. I want him to have a chance." She was close to tears, but fought hard to keep them at bay.

The two sat silently, sipping their coffee for several minutes. Finally John spoke.

"My car’s in the garage around the corner. What do you say we take a little ride out toward Candlestick Park? There’s a house just around the corner…”

Lily stood immediately and pitched her empty cup in a nearby bin. "I’m ready when you are."

*  *  *

Lunch was the proverbial rubber chicken, with some sort of… sauce. The eight diners at Anna’s table had practically fought over the bread basket, giving up on the main entrée and the too-cooked mixed vegetables. At least the salad had been edible, and all were looking forward to the chocolate mousse.

This was the annual Entrepreneur Awards Luncheon for the Greater Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce. As one of last year’s winners for her sweeping acquisition of three new dealerships, Anna was seated near the speakers’ table with several of the movers and shakers who had made their mark in LA’s business community. At the tables near the back, diners networked with one another, meeting as many people as possible to help grow their new or struggling businesses. At Anna’s table, the subject was city politics, a topic which in LA was the rubber chicken equivalent of discussion.

A tapping on her shoulder took her mercifully away from an anti-city hall tirade.

"Greg, hi! How are you?" Greg Cahill owned a string of office supply franchises throughout the region. As the Chamber’s vice-president, he would ascend to the top job after the next election, two months away. Like Anna, Greg and his businesses were ardent supporters of several projects that benefited children, either in the schools or in the neighborhoods. Anna liked him a lot, and he drove a black Premier 740iL.

"I’m doing great, Anna. It’s good to see you. Listen, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I wonder if you’d mind joining a few of us for a short meeting after lunch. I promise it won’t take long."

"Sure," she nodded. If Greg was getting behind something, chances were she would too.

"Great. We’ll meet in the Palm Room down the hall. Oh, and Geri just ordered a sandwich tray," he added with a wink.

"Then I’ll definitely be there."

Anna walked into the room after the luncheon to find a small group of the Chamber’s elite members, including several past officers. Anna herself had served as the organization’s treasurer three years ago.

"Anna! Thanks for joining us," Greg said eagerly.

Suddenly nervous to realize that all eyes in the room were on her and smiling, Anna thought fleetingly about faking a vibrating page. This is about me.

"You’re welcome, Greg. Hi everyone," she added, nodding in the direction of the smiling faces. "So what’s this about?"

"This is about your campaign for vice-president. We really want you to run, and we’ll all do our part to help you get elected."

Anna had worked like a dog the last time she’d served the Chamber. Well, not like Chester, but maybe like a working dog… However, she knew from others who had held various posts that no office was as demanding as treasurer, and she’d survived it.

"Why me, Greg?" There were lots of Chamber members with more business experience than she, and Anna was almost certain she wouldn’t get much support from the old guard. They’d want one of their own.

"Because you’re the kind of leader we need: somebody who has shown that she knows how to operate a sound business and make it grow; somebody who can be a good role model for other women and young people in the business community; and somebody who cares about the whole community, not just her own business interests."

Anna was staggered by Greg’s unwavering praise, more so by the way it was echoed by the nodding heads around the room.

"Well I…”

"Just say yes, and we’ll worry about the rest," he prodded.

Anna sighed. It was a two-year commitment, as the charter called for the vice-president to automatically succeed the president. That was a lot of time, but it would give her a platform for advocating better business practices and more community involvement.

"Okay. I’ll run."

The room erupted in applause, and everyone rushed forward to offer their thanks and congratulations.

I hope I don’t regret this.

*  *  *

Moss wheeled his Honda Civic south on 101 toward the infamous stadium on Candlestick Point. Only the sportscasters called the landmark by its corporate name, 3-Com Park. Over the years, Lily had collected lots of memories of sporting events here in the park. In fact, her mother and Katharine Fortier were seated in the upper deck before the start of the World Series in 1989 when the tall lights began to sway from the Loma Prieta quake.

"So what kind of work does your husband do?" the social worker asked, snapping her back from that frightening memory. Please don’t say he’s a mobster.

Lily chuckled, knowing that the ring she wore had led him to that erroneous assumption. "She sells cars."

Momentarily perplexed, Moss recovered nicely as understanding dawned. "And do you two have any children?"

"No, but we have a basset hound, and my partner and I seem to take turns acting like children from time to time."

"I know what you mean. My wife says I do that too."

"How about you? Do you have children?" Lily was really starting to like this man, and again she was glad that the wheels of fate had landed Andy’s case on his desk.

"Two boys, 12 and nine. I tell you, sometimes after a really tough day, I have to go straight to their rooms when I get home and tell them how much I love them."

"Believe me, I understand. We see some horrible things in this line of work. Still, I like knowing that I’m doing something about it."

"Me too," he concurred. "Here we are."

Moss parked and led Lily up the steps to the porch of a narrow three-story house. The garage took up the ground level, so the front door entered on the second story. They were expected, as the social worker had called on the way over.

"Nice to see you again, John. Come on in."

"Hi Mary Beth. Sorry about the short notice," Moss apologized.

"Not a problem. We’ve just had lunch."

Moss and Lily entered the small living room, where the social worker made the introductions. "Lily, this is Mary Beth Shull. She and her husband have been foster parents with us for about eight years."

"Hi Mrs. Shull. I’m Lily Stuart," she eagerly offered, barely able to avert her eyes from the three young boys huddled around the TV. If one of them was Andy, he was big for his age.

"Call me Mary Beth. Even the boys do."

Taking in the heavyset woman with an abundance of gray hair, Lily surmised that Mary Beth Shull was in her mid-fifties. She doubted seriously that any of the children in the room belonged to this woman and her husband. In fact, besides the actual presence of the boys in the room, there wasn’t much evidence that children lived here. There were no toys, games or books of any kind in the room. Everything was neat and orderly, and Lily immediately got the impression that Mary Beth Shull ran a tight ship.

"It’s nice to meet you Mary Beth. Thanks for letting us come."

"It’s alright. I told Andy that someone was coming to see him, and he slipped upstairs to the bedroom without finishing his lunch. He’s pretty shy."

"Can we go up there?" Lily was almost shaking with anticipation.

"Right this way." The blonde woman fell in behind Mrs. Shull and Moss brought up the rear. Straight ahead at the top of the stairs was a small bathroom, the upward toilet seat a sign that its last visitor had been one of the young boys. To the left was a closed door, presumably the Shull’s bedroom. The room on the right was open, two sets of bunk beds visible from the doorway. Apparently, all four of the boys shared this small room.

"Andy?" the foster mother called.

Lily stepped into the room behind her, her eyes drawn immediately to movement in the corner behind the tall chest of drawers. A small brown-haired boy squatted low, his green eyes wide as he watched the new people enter the room. Even in his crouched position, Lily could see that he was quite small for his age, probably less than 30 pounds. His complexion was slightly darker than her own, evidence of his Latino parentage.

"Andy, do you remember John?" she coaxed.

If he did, he didn’t let on.

"Hi Andy. How are you, buddy?" Moss smiled a friendly greeting to the boy. "I brought someone to see you today. This is Lily. Can you say hi?"

Lily slowly squatted lower, careful not to crowd the child in the corner. From here, she noticed that his hands tightly clutched a small toy car. "Hello Andy. What’s that you’re playing with?"

The boy didn’t answer, but meekly held out the toy for her inspection, as though afraid that she would take it from him. He was dressed in oversized red gym shorts with a faded blue t-shirt, most likely hand-me-downs from children who had stayed with the Shulls over the last eight years.

"That’s a nice car. Is it fun to play with?" Lily found herself wanting badly to connect with this child. Simple questions might draw him out.

Andy nodded and pulled it back.

"He really likes to play with cars," Mrs. Shull interjected. "We have about five or six of those matchbox cars here that he keeps hidden under the bed so the other boys won’t get them," she added, walking to the lower bunk on the left to retrieve his stash.

Andy followed her with his eyes, anxious that she knew of his secret place.

"One of my friends likes cars too, Andy," she continued, reminded at once of her beautiful partner.

"Behavior-wise, he’s not a lot of trouble," the foster mother offered, talking as though the child weren’t in the room. "He doesn’t talk much and he plays by himself a lot. But he’s a very picky eater, and he doesn’t wash himself very well."

Lily had learned some of those same things about herself from the papers Eleanor had saved.

"How’s his asthma been?" Moss asked.

"He has asthma?" Lily was momentarily startled by this piece of information. She still had a few problems herself with the condition, and knowing its hereditary nature, she wondered if Kristy also had suffered with it.

"From what I can tell from his records, it seems to be a little worse in the summer time. I had to move him down to the couch the other night because his coughing was keeping the other boys awake."

The image of the small boy alone downstairs in the night almost broke Lily’s heart. The best medicine for an asthma attack was a double-edged sword at night. It usually stopped the coughing but stimulated the senses, making it difficult to fall asleep.

"Mary Beth, why don’t we go talk in the kitchen for awhile and let Lily visit with Andy?" Moss liked Lily’s fearless approach to the anxious child, and hoped if they disappeared, Andy might actually talk to her.

Now alone with the bashful boy, Lily adjusted her dress and sat cross-legged in the floor. His wide eyes never left her as she reached out to drag the other cars over to the space between them.

"Which one of these is your favorite, Andy?"

Shyly, the boy leaned forward and crawled the few feet to where she sat, pointing to a small convertible.

"This one?"

He nodded, still not making a sound.

"I like that one too. Can I see the one you have in your hand?"

Reluctantly, Andy gave up the small black Firebird with flames painted on the hood. This was the "Bandit," Lily remembered. "This one’s very nice too," she remarked, quickly handing it back to him. It was important that she establish a sense of trust.

"So which bed is yours?"

Andy stood and walked to the lower bunk. "’Dis one," he finally spoke.

"It looks like a fun place to sleep, like having your own little room."

"I can climb ‘dis," he indicated, grabbing the ladder that led to the upper bunk. In a flash, he began to demonstrate.

Lily stood instinctively, readying herself to catch him. "Wow, you’re a good climber, Andy."

They had finally broken the ice, and the boy spent the next half hour showing his new friend how he could cross his eyes, balance briefly on one foot, and almost reach the top bunk when he clumsily jumped up from the floor. Next, he showed her his other pair of shoes, and the five t-shirts and two pairs of shorts in bottom drawer of the nightstand. Lily delighted in the way he opened up, and genuinely enjoyed watching him show off.

Time flew as he entertained her in the crowded room upstairs. She was surprised when Moss and Mrs. Shull appeared again in the doorway, and he suddenly became subdued.

"We’ve been having a lot of fun," she stated, still smiling at the shy boy who had retreated to sit on his bed against the wall.

"We’ve been hearing all that fun," his foster mother admonished, an obvious reference to the jumping they had heard from downstairs. "You haven’t been climbing on the ladder, have you Andy?"

The child looked down without answering.

"Uh, that was my fault. I asked him if he could and he showed me. Sorry, I didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to do that." Lily wasn’t sure why she suddenly felt like a co-conspirator, but she wasn’t going to let the child be punished on her account.

"Andy knows he’s not allowed to do that. Don’t you, Andy?"

The boy nodded solemnly.

Thankfully, that reprimand was his only punishment, and Lily shot him a quick wink and a smile to lessen the blow.

"I need to be getting back to my office, Lily. Are you about ready to go?"

An inexplicable panic gripped Lily as she realized that their time together was over. She had really enjoyed playing with the boy, and found herself strangely moved by the connection she felt.

Ducking under the top bunk, Lily started her goodbye. "I have to go, Andy. Do you think I could have a hug to take with me?"

"Oh, he doesn’t really like physical contact that much. That’s probably from being abused when he was with his mother."

Lily flinched at the mention of Kristy Parker, but was more annoyed that the foster mother had brought that up in front of the child. It was as though she had little regard for his feelings. Maybe she doesn’t.

Turning back to the child, Lily coaxed him one more time. "Would it be okay if I gave you a hug?"

Slowly he crawled to the edge of the bed, rising up on his knees to wrap his small arms around the blonde woman’s neck.

Lily’s eyes quickly filled with tears at the tender gesture, and she hugged the boy fiercely to her chest. "Maybe I’ll come back to visit you again sometime. Would you like that?" Did I just say that?

Andy nodded, and Lily slowly stood. Looking back one last time at the bright green eyes, she smiled and started down the steps.

Moss was quiet as they pulled away, aware that his companion was working hard at composing herself. Finally, he broke the silence.

"So are you satisfied?"

"Satisfied with what?"

"Satisfied that he’s doing alright. That’s what you came to check on, isn’t it?"

"He seems to be relatively healthy, except for the asthma she mentioned."

"His last checkup was pretty good. And the Shulls take pretty good care of the kids that stay there."

"But he doesn’t seem to be particularly happy. I guess that’s not all that unusual for kids in foster care, is it?" Lily lamented.

"Yeah, he might do a little better if there were fewer kids there. The Shulls are only certified for two children, but they’ve had four at a time for most of the last year."

"That’s terrible. How can you let that happen?" She was immediately sorry at her accusatory tone. "I mean, isn’t there somewhere else he could go?"

"You know what it’s like. We just don’t have enough beds for the kids that need them. All in all, the Shulls are doing a pretty good job."

"She seems nice enough, but you’ve got to admit she’s a little severe. I mean there were four children in the house, and the only toys in the house were hidden under the bed. And Andy acted like he was afraid of her when she said that about him climbing on the ladder."

"Lily, I understand what you’re saying, believe me. Our house looks like a toy box in every room. But a lot of these kids come into foster care with absolutely no sense of order or rules. It isn’t such a bad thing that they learn a few boundaries."

"But they’re still kids, John. And I didn’t like how she talked about Andy with him sitting right there in the room."

Unknown to the ranting woman, the social worker was actually enjoying her tirade. Everything she said was a sign that she cared, and when she’d shared the touching hug with the boy, he’d stepped into hall and pumped his fist in the air twice, mouthing a silent "Yes!"

"Do you need to go back to the office, or is there somewhere I could drop you?" he asked, approaching the freeway entrance.

"How about SFO? Would that be too much trouble?" Now that her business was finished, she could probably catch an earlier flight back to LA.

Turning south, they drove in silence once again.

"John, could I ask you a huge personal favor?"

"Sure." He really liked this woman, and he was pretty sure of what she was going to ask.

"Will you keep me posted on how he’s doing?"

Moss didn’t answer right away, carefully choosing his words. "I will if you’ll do something for me," he finally offered.

"What’s that?"

"Will you go home and think about taking him in?"

Lily’s stomach fluttered at the suggestion. When she’d felt the boy’s arms go around her neck, she’d been ready to scoop him up and take him home right then.

"That’s not a decision I can make by myself. I just don’t think this is a good time for us." The excuse sounded feeble, but she and Anna had agreed that they wanted more time together before they thought about the prospect of children. Besides, this wasn’t just any child; he was the child of a sister she had never met.

"But it’s a good time for Andy. He’s doing okay, but he could do a lot better with somebody like you." Moss wheeled the small car into the departures lane. "What’s your airline?"

"United," she answered, picking up her folders from the floorboard, and hooking her handbag over her shoulder.

Moss maneuvered in front of the United Airlines section and pulled to a stop.

"If I decided to keep him for a while, would Kristy have to know?" The longer she thought about it, the more unattractive was the prospect of actually meeting her half sister.

"I’m afraid so. Under the terms of voluntary surrender, it’s policy that we advise the parents of every change in placement."

"But does she need to know that I’m her sister?"

Reluctantly, Moss nodded. "I can’t recommend a move out of the county unless it’s a relative."

Lily sighed deeply and stepped out of the car, leaning back in to finish their discussion. "I guess you have your answer then, John. I’m just not ready to do that. I’m sorry. I really appreciate all you did today."

"Glad I could help you find out what you wanted, Lily," he said, not even trying to conceal his disappointment. He may have lost Round One, but he was certain that the idea had taken root. They would talk again, and soon.

CHAPTER 9

A NNA WAS GLAD to see the X5 already in the garage when she got home. Lily had left a message for her at work that she had seen Andy, and was at the airport. Still, her scheduled flight wasn’t until six, so the car dealer hadn’t expected her before eight.

"Lily?" Anna strode into the family room, stopping briefly to pet the happy hound.

"In here."

Anna continued into the kitchen, where her partner was running a garlic press over a buttered split loaf. "Hey, baby. When did you get back?"

Lily stretched up for a kiss. "I got to the airport early and walked onto an earlier flight. Good thing you didn’t try to sneak your girlfriend home, huh?"

"What? She isn’t upstairs?"

"Funny, Amazon. You shouldn’t tease the cook, you know." Lily sprinkled the seasoning on a pair of salmon steaks. "You could come down with a serious case of chickenella."

"A case of what?"

"Chickenella. You know, you get salmonella from undercooked chicken, and…”

Anna groaned at the feeble joke as Lily took the steaks out to the grill. "I want to hear all about your day. Is there anything I can do?" The table was set, the salad was tossed, and the bread was in the oven.

"Nope, everything’s under control. I’ll tell you about it when we sit down."

"Okay. What do you want to drink?" Anna asked, poking her head into the refrigerator.

"Let’s see. White wine would be good." Now that was a joke.

"Smart ass. Just for that, I’m going to pour you a glass of chocolate milk to go with your fish."

"You’re gross."

Anna opened a bottle of ice cold sparkling water and plucked two glasses from the cabinet. Lily was bringing in the steaks just as she finished cutting up a lemon.

"That looks great, hon. Slaving over a hot stove, all for me."

"These are both mine. What are you having?"

"I was thinking about battered pygmy."

"Such a funny girl," Lily answered, crinkling her nose. She thoroughly appreciated her lover’s quick wit. Retrieving the bread from the oven, she and Anna sat down at the table.

"So tell me all about Andy. Where’s he living?" Anna started in on the warm bread and waited for her lover’s report.

Lily described the Shull’s crowded home, a two bedroom house with four children and two adults. Borrowing Anna’s silverware, she laid out a model of the small bedroom, showing where the bunk beds were, and where she found the small boy hiding.

"What did he look like?"

"Oh Anna, he was beautiful! He’s really small for his age–Mary Beth says he’s a picky eater–and he’s got curly light brown hair, and big green eyes like mine."

Eyes like yours? He’d slay me.

"And he’s really bashful, but he finally opened up and started to play with me. He’s very sweet. Oh, and guess what he likes to play with most! You’ll love this."

"I… have no idea."

"Cars. He loves cars, you know, those little matchbox cars. He has a bunch of them that he hides under the bed." Lily went on to tell about the "tricks" he did, and how he showed off for her until the other adults returned. "He was adorable. And when I had to leave, he gave me a big hug; I tell you, it just stole my heart."

Anna nodded, enjoying her partner’s obvious excitement. "I’m really glad you went, sweetheart. It sounds like he’s doing okay."

"Well, he is doing… okay. I just wish…”

"You wish what?"

Lily set down her fork and sighed. How do I explain this? "I wish that he were… I don’t know… happier. Foster care can be a cruel system sometimes."

"What do you mean?" Anna was disappointed that her partner’s excitement was now gone.

"It’s just the nature of the beast. They move these kids around so much that they actually discourage the foster parents from trying to bond with them because it can cause separation problems for some of them when they have to leave."

"Well I guess that makes sense."

"Yeah, so Andy has a safe place to stay, and a bed, and he gets his meals and his bath. But he doesn’t get to laugh and play very much, and I don’t think he gets any affection at all. I think I might have been the first person to hug him in I don’t know how long."

"That’s too bad." Anna knew from her Kidz Kamp outings how much some of the kids craved adult attention. "So how long do you think he’ll be there?"

"Probably not much longer. The other kids in the house are older and they start back to school next month. John says that Mary Beth only agreed to keep him until then, because she doesn’t want to have one at home during the day." Lily went on to tell about John Moss, and how glad she was that Andy had been assigned to such a good social worker.

"Where do you think he’ll go when they move him?"

"I don’t know. John asked me to think about having him come here."

Inexplicably, Anna picked that moment to drop her fork and send it clanging across the tile floor.

The women looked at one another in silence before Lily finally spoke. "Don’t sweat it, Amazon. I told him it wasn’t going to happen."

The next five minutes brought a serious lull in the conversation.

"So tell me about your day," Lily asked as she pushed back from her unfinished meal. The subject of Andy was now officially closed.

To Anna, the events of her day seemed inconsequential compared to her partner’s visit to San Francisco. Nonetheless, she went on to relate the story of the Chamber luncheon and how she’d agreed to run for vice president.

Lily couldn’t help but feel proud that her lover had been tapped for such an important position. "You know, sweetheart, that’s really quite an honor. I’m so proud of you."

"Thanks." In Anna’s own mind, business accomplishments stacked up poorly against the kind of work done every day by people like Lily, Sandy Henke and John Moss.

*  *  *

"Full staff meeting in the conference room! Now, please." Tony strode rapidly from his office down the hall. Something big was happening.

"Good morning, ladies." Tony greeted the clinic’s small staff, which included his attorney wife Colleen; Lauren and Lily, who rounded out the legal staff; and Pauline, who pulled double duty as the receptionist and file clerk. "I have three pieces of news for you all this morning. Four actually. The first two items are that our esteemed Ms. Stuart has secured significant funding from two organizations to provide specialized legal services, one from the Hispanic Women’s Safe Coalition, and the other from the Ryan White Foundation for persons with AIDS."

Lily beamed as the excited staffers clapped and offered their congratulations.

"The next item is that with this extra work, we’re going to have to start looking for extra help, so I want you to put your feelers out there with some of your old professors and colleagues. And finally–and Lily, you’re really going to like this part–in September, we’re moving into bigger offices on the third floor."

The last bit of news was possibly the best of all, as Lily was still working out of a closet and Colleen felt guilty every single day for taking over her office. The extra work would now mean that Lily would soon be back to full-time, and she could finally quit scouring for extra funds.

"Lily, can I see you a minute in my office?" Tony asked as they walked back down the hall together.

"Sure."

Once inside, Tony closed the door and faced his friend. "I just wanted to say thank you for working so hard to make all this happen. I’m really proud of the way you’ve handled yourself since you came back. I don’t know many people who could have stuck it out like you have." The man was growing awkward at his praise. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I’m really glad to have you working by my side at the clinic, but more than that, I’m glad to call you a friend."

For the first time since she’d started her downward spiral into alcohol abuse last year, Lily felt at this moment like she had finally recovered all the things she’d lost. She was proud that she’d won the grants, but knowing that she had once again earned Tony’s professional respect and friendship was worth more than that. I am not going to cry, she told herself as her green eyes misted. But in case she did, the speechless woman stepped forward and buried her face in Tony’s shoulder as she gave her boss–her friend–a mighty hug.

*  *  *

"So it looks like I’ll be back to full-time in September," Lily told her partner excitedly.

"That’s great news! I’m happy for you, sweetheart. Of course, I’m going to miss having you at home already when I get here."

"And my cooking."

"And the times at night when I get to enjoy you instead of you having to get ready for court."

"And my cooking."

"And all the energy you have because you don’t have to work so hard."

"And?"

"And your cooking," Anna finally conceded.

The women moved into their bedroom, having locked up and turned out the lights downstairs. It was early, only 9:30, but who knew what might happen in that hour or two before they fell asleep.

Lily clicked on the TV as Anna disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for bed. "Have you kicked off your VP campaign yet?"

"I had a meeting yesterday with Greg Cahill and Geri D’Angelo. They floated it at their committee meetings last week and got a positive response. I need to put together a short speech for next month’s general meeting."

"Do you have any ideas for a–?"

"A development tonight in the Peyton Graves murder case. Next right here on News 26."

"What do you think it could it be?" Anna asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed beside her lover, whose attention was now riveted to the upcoming nightly news.

The trial was set to start in three weeks, with a handful of pretrial evidentiary issues before the court. Already, the prosecution boasted hair strands from Kristy Parker inside Graves’ loft and bloodstains on her pants. Several of his personal items and pawn tickets for others were found in their possession. With the physical evidence directly incriminating Parker, some in the media were even speculating that charges against McGinnis might be dropped for lack of evidence.

Though neither suspect was cooperating, their attorney had already offered an alternate explanation for the evidence. This was an important maneuver designed to prevent potential jurors from automatically accepting the prosecutor’s case. The public defender maintained that his clients had found the stolen items–some of which contained the victim’s blood–while searching in a dumpster near Graves’ loft. Parker, he said, had approached Graves earlier in the day for a handout and he invited her into his home to give her food and a rain jacket, which she was wearing at the time of her arrest. It was admittedly plausible, as the man had a reputation for being generous; he had once made the papers for giving a homeless man a ride in his limousine.

"Aren’t you going to go check online?" Anna asked.

Lily had been trying not to spend too much time in the evenings reading about the case ever since her partner had hinted that it had become an obsession. Usually, she checked the internet for updates at work or before Anna got home.

"No, I’ll watch it here with you."

Anxious minutes passed before the news theme finally sounded. Art Hanson had become a news celebrity of sorts during his on-the-scene reports from the Culver City quake, and now anchored the 10 o’clock broadcast.

"There’s a development out of San Francisco tonight in the case against the couple who stand accused of fatally stabbing businessman and political figure, Peyton Graves…” Police had been alerted by neighbors to an overnight disturbance near Graves’ residence, in which a man now identified as Robert McGinnis was observed tampering with a row of newspaper racks. The alert patrolman recognized the name as the same as that of the accused, and summoned investigators to the scene. When the racks were separated, they recovered a nine-inch kitchen knife from a set belonging to the victim, believed to be the murder weapon. Robert McGinnis was later identified as the brother of Kenneth, and was being held pending charges.

"Wow, I’d say that about closes the book," Anna remarked.

"Yeah, it looks like McGinnis sent his brother to find the weapon. Maybe it will have his prints or something." Lily had accepted that her half-sister was deeply involved in this horrible crime, but was unsettled by the suggestion that she had acted alone.

"That would put them both there, wouldn’t it?"

"Yeah, unless McGinnis were to argue that she handed it to him or something."

Anna placed her hand on her lover’s knee and squeezed softly. "Does this change how you’re looking at everything, sweetheart?" She knew that Lily had held out hope that the explanation offered by the defense was actually the truth, but the fact that the murder weapon had been hidden–and that McGinnis’ brother apparently knew where it was–heightened the likelihood that they were indeed the murderers.

"It sure makes it harder to buy their dumpster explanation, doesn’t it? Although I suppose a knife like that would be a real find, and they could say they had second thoughts about it because of the blood." Lily knew she was reaching, but as an attorney she was trained to think in terms of reasonable doubt.

Anna clicked off the TV and started back into the bathroom. "Honey, what happens to Andy if Kristy gets convicted?" Lily had hardly spoken of the child since the night more than a week ago when she’d returned from seeing him. Twice, Anna had asked if she’d heard anything, but Lily had said no and quickly changed the subject. Why she didn’t want to talk about him, Anna didn’t understand.

Lily had been thinking about Andy, a lot in fact. But after her partner’s reaction when she’d told her of the social worker’s request, she had purposefully avoided the subject of Andy again. More and more, she felt herself drawn to the boy with the smiling green eyes, and the sweet shyness. And with growing resentment and frustration, she thought of his strict environment and the long nights alone on the couch as he coughed uncontrollably. How could Lily explain to her partner that she simply needed to go get this child?

"The state–John Moss actually–will start severance proceedings and he’ll be placed up for adoption."

"Like you were?"

"Exactly like I was. Except that my mother didn’t murder anyone, let alone somebody famous."

"What does… oh… so you don’t think he’ll be adopted?" Anna recognized that the stigma would be difficult for a prospective parent to overcome.

"Not likely," she answered glumly. "Moss called me at work and told me that Andy’s going to be moved soon, and there’s no telling how long he’ll stay in the next place. If he’s lucky, he’ll get to live with a family for a while, but more than likely he’ll end up eventually in a group home of some sort."

So she’s been thinking about it, just not talking to me. Anna suddenly felt guilty, knowing that her earlier reaction had caused her lover to clam up. "You didn’t tell me Moss called." It was a gentle reproach. She once again took a seat on the bed, this time draping an arm around the slouched shoulder as Lily stared dejectedly at the floor.

The blonde woman nodded. "Yeah, yesterday. He… asked me again to think about letting Andy stay with us until he found a better place for him."

"And you told him no again." It wasn’t a question.

Lily nodded once again, tears forming in her eyes at the frustration she felt.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this. Am I really going to say this? Oh, god help me. Here goes nothing. "Maybe we should talk about it some more, Lily. I never meant for you to feel like it wasn’t even something we should consider," Anna offered, her voice low and steady.

"You mean bringing him here?" Lily’s hands began to shake as she weighed the ramifications of what her partner was suggesting. Yes, she wanted Andy with her–that she knew, and she knew it the moment she saw the boy. But it would mean making contact with her sister, and the enormity of that step wasn’t to be taken lightly. Nor were Anna’s reservations.

"What would we… what would it involve?" Anna was now tentative, unsure of what they were both getting into. This was not just any child they were talking about, but possibly the child of a notorious murderer. And he was Lily’s nephew.

"I would have to go on record as being Kristy’s sister. Unless she objected, Moss would then draw up papers to have him placed here until…”

"Until what?"

"Until he’s adopted, or until we ask to have him placed elsewhere." Lily wondered how many times the child had been moved at the foster parents’ request. She had no idea of the demands he placed on his caretakers.

"So you don’t really know how long he would need to be here," Anna asked, the apprehension in her voice now clear.

"No, but it would be up to us, I think." Lily hoped that Anna would be willing to give it a try if she knew it was only temporary. "I mean if it didn’t work out, we could ask John to find another placement. Unless of course Kristy is acquitted… then she’d be eligible to regain custody." I can’t believe we’re talking about this.

The more Anna heard her lover speak, the more she knew what was in Lily’s heart regarding the small child. Her voice was lighter, excited even.

"Are you ready to acknowledge Kristy Parker as your sister? It’s a big step." It could very possibly draw the attorney into the media coverage surrounding the trial.

"Anna, believe me, having anything to do with her is the next to last thing in the world I want. But the last thing I want is for that beautiful boy not to have a chance to grow up better than his mother. If we could help him–even for a little while," she added hastily, "I’d be willing to face her if I had to." Her green eyes were pleading.

Lily needed this for her peace of mind, Anna knew. Like it somehow paid back what she owed Eleanor Stuart for saving her from a life of foster homes.

"So why don’t you call that social worker tomorrow and tell him you’ve decided to do it for a while."

Her whispered thanks barely audible, Lily wrapped her arms tightly around this wonderful woman that she loved more than life.

CHAPTER 10

J OHN MOSS REALLY tried to be cool about the news, but it was no use. He was so thrilled that Lily Stuart had changed her mind that she could actually hear the grin on his face.

"So what do we have to do?" Lily had stayed home this morning to get the ball rolling on this process, which she knew from her own experience with the system, wasn’t always a snap. One of her clients had likened it to getting a mortgage.

"Uh…" back to business, "first we have to start the paperwork. I’ll need to hook up with a social worker in LA who can handle the preliminaries. They’ll have to do a home visit and interviews with all the adults in the house, so that means you and your partner. I can probably find somebody today and have them call you next week to set up the appointment."

"Would it be alright if it was someone I knew?"

"It’s alright by me, so long as it’s somebody that’s qualified to handle it."

Lily gave him Sandy Henke’s name and number, assuring him that though they were close, Sandy could be trusted to do a professional job. "I would actually put the two of you in the same league, John."

"Well if she’s your friend, I’ll take that as a compliment." Moss started pulling forms from the files in his bottom drawer. "I’ll need to run a background check on both of you, and you’ll both have to get fingerprinted. It’s just routine."

"Uh, you’re going to find… I got a DUI last year."

Moss was a little surprised at this. Most attorneys were more careful and the ones who weren’t usually had colleagues that could fix everything. "Has that sort of thing been a problem for you?" It was best to get all this out in the open.

"No, just a one-time thing. I, uh, lost my mom last year and I didn’t handle myself very well. But I got into a program, and I’m sober now. It’s not a part of me anymore."

"Okay, thanks for telling me. I don’t think it will be a problem." He shuffled the papers on his desk. "Can you fax me a copy of your birth certificate? I may need it when I talk to your sister’s attorney."

Lily cringed at the mention of her sister. She hated that they had to involve her in this process, angry that Kristy Parker had any say-so at all with regard to Andy.

"I’ll send it right out. Is there anything else you need?"

"I can’t really do anything else on this end until I get the papers back from your friend. I’ll send her a packet in the mail today. She should have it Monday or Tuesday. When she gets it all filled out and sends it back, I’ll set up something with Kristy."

Lily could feel the excitement building. This was really happening. "Is there any way you could send the packet overnight? We might be able to take care of it all over the weekend and get it back to you by Tuesday."

Unbeknownst to Lily, Moss was on his feet now, doing the victory dance he usually reserved for his sons’ soccer matches. "Okay, I’ll get it out this afternoon. Is it okay to send it to your house?"

"That’d be great, John. I’ll watch for it. Thanks."

"Thank you, Lily. I have a feeling this is going to be really good for Andy."

"Yeah… it’ll feel good to be able to help him out… for at least a while, anyway."

"Yeah, at least a while," Moss feigned his agreement.

*  *  *

"Well isn’t this a surprise!" Hal looked up from his desk as Kim pushed the overloaded stroller through the office door. His young son followed closely behind, breaking into a run when he spotted his dad. "Hi Jonah!" Hal caught the boy and stood, coming around the desk to kiss his wife and nuzzle his infant daughter as her eyes grew big taking in the new place.

"Hi handsome."

Hal’s forehead wrinkled immediately. This was unusual. "So did you come to have lunch with me? How did you get that stroller up the stairs?"

"Brad and Danny carried it," Anna answered, appearing out of nowhere to drop a large white paper bag on his desk. "Roast beef on wheat for you, grilled cheese for Jo-Jo, chips and cookies."

The accountant was extremely confused.

"Gotta have a talk with my sister. You get to babysit, big guy." A quick kiss on her husband’s cheek, and Kim followed Anna into the corner office and closed the door.

"I got you tuna," Anna offered as Kim plopped down on the leather love seat.

"Tuna, schmuna! What’s this all about?" Her sister, obviously upset about something, had called and begged her to come by the office for a talk.

Anna told her all about the decision to bring Andy to live with them "just for a while" as they waited to find out what would happen to his mother. She and Lily had told the family a little about the boy, but not enough that anyone would have foreseen this.

"I can’t believe I’m doing this, Kim. He’s not even four years old!"

Truth be told, Kim couldn’t believe her sister was doing this either, but since she was, she didn’t need to be second-guessed. "Wow, I can’t believe it either! But it sounds like great news, Sister."

"What do you mean great news? I’m going to have a heart attack before it ever happens."

"Anna, come on. It sounds like this kid really needs a good home. You and Lily can do that."

"It’s just going to be for a while."

Uh-huh. "What if you like it?" The more Kim thought about it, the more the idea of her sister with a small child grew on her. Anna was great with Jonah, and she had a lot to give. Lily would be marvelous.

"Very funny. You know I only like kids when I can hand them back to their parents."

"But that’s because you can. If you can’t maybe you’ll find out that the real fun is the tough stuff."

"I don’t have to tell you how ridiculous that sounds," Anna muttered, her skepticism evident in the scowl on her face.

"Look, there’s nothing to it, really. You just follow them around 24 hours a day so they don’t hurt themselves, teach them to have a conscience, and hope they don’t talk about your family’s private moments in front of other people." Jonah had told the entire Kaklis family and the wait staff at Empyre’s that his daddy’s pee-pee was a lot bigger than his… like a giant’s.

*  *  *

"I can’t believe you’re really going to do this!" Suzanne exclaimed.

Funny, I keep saying that myself, Anna thought for the thousandth time since Thursday night, so deep in denial she wasn’t sure which part of her was real anymore.

"I have to admit, I was a little surprised when this one here agreed," Lily said, putting her arm around her partner’s waist. "But we both felt that it was the right thing to do."

Anna found herself nodding, though she wasn’t consciously aware of the decision to do so.

"Well this is all pretty straightforward," Sandy looked up from the kitchen counter where she’d laid out the forms from John Moss. She’d called her fellow social worker on Friday afternoon, after she’d gotten the heads up from Lily.

"Hi Sandy." Moss was really glad that Lily was already following up. It said a lot in her favor that she was eager to move forward with getting Andy placed in her home. "Lily thinks a lot of you, you know."

"Yeah, she thinks a lot of you too, John. I can tell."

"So what do you think? Is this a good idea?"

"Honestly?"

"Of course." He tensed, hoping he hadn’t misread things.

"I think it could be the best thing to ever happen to Andy Parker. That’s my honest assessment."

Whew! "That’s certainly good to hear. So you think they’re able to take this on? I mean, it won’t be a hardship, will it?"

Sandy chuckled. "No, John. They can handle it."

"That’s good. I was just… worried, you know, Lily told me she worked with the guardian ad litem program. I know that can’t pay much. And her partner sells cars, she said."

"Yeah, Anna Kaklis sells cars, alright. She owns the top two BMW and Volkswagen dealerships in Southern California."

"Oh."

"My whole house would fit in their living room, dining room and kitchen," she exaggerated, but it was the right idea.

"Wow, we don’t usually like to place kids in settings like that." Unless the children were accustomed to affluent surroundings, the foster care system generally preferred lower-middle and middle class homes, as it made readjustment easier when the children were returned to their own homes.

"Under normal circumstances, I’d agree with you. But Lily and Anna are pretty down to earth."

"So what’s Anna like?" Moss’s curiosity was more personal than professional, he acknowledged to himself, wondering what type of partner a woman like Lily Stuart would have.

"She’s a blue chipper. Good people, as my mother would say."

"That’s great. So… I guess I’ll hear from you next week?"

"Yeah, but one more thing, John. You have to promise me something."

"What’s that?"

"If I call you and tell you that you need to move this kid, I don’t want you dragging your feet. I want you to hustle and find him a place."

"Are you going to have to do that, Sandy?" It didn’t bode well for Andy if Lily’s friend was already looking for an out.

"I hope not, but neither one of them has been around a child before, let alone a child who’s spent a lot of time in the system. I don’t want their decision to do this to come back and bite them in the ass." Sandy had never pulled a punch in her life.

"I think I’m going to recommend a few changes to the bedroom upstairs," Sandy started, walking towards the stairs to lay out her plan.

Lily and Anna followed dutifully while Suzanne made herself at home in the family room in front of their state-of-the-art entertainment center.

At the top of the landing, the social worker stopped and asked, "Which room are you thinking of putting him in?"

On the left side was the master suite; to the right were two smaller bedrooms, connected by a bathroom. Straight ahead were French doors leading to a large balcony that spanned the back of the house.

"Maybe that one," Anna gestured toward the room farthest from theirs. "I was just thinking that the balcony might not be safe," she explained. Indeed, the open railings would pose a risk to a very small child.

"Good thinking," Sandy congratulated, walking to the far bedroom. "I think you should get a twin bed for in here. Kids, especially little ones, feel more secure in a smaller bed. And if you’re going to have to put this bed in storage anyway, maybe you should get some other pieces that are more… kid sized."

This room held the bedroom suite from Lily’s apartment, the first pieces of furniture she’d ever bought new. Sandy and Suzanne had stayed in this room when their house was being painted.

"If you want to move this furniture over to the other room, we can put that other stuff in storage," Anna offered.

"Are you kidding? That one in there was your grandmother’s bed, Anna. This is just… functional. As far as I’m concerned, we can pack it off to the women’s shelter." Lily was sentimental about people, not things.

"Okay, that’s settled," Sandy concluded with satisfaction, taking a quick look at the bathroom to make certain it was safe for a small child. "Now you guys are going to have to decide what to do about the pool. I would suggest something simple, like flip locks up high on those French doors in the back." The women walked back downstairs to the kitchen. "Of course, you’ll have to make sure he doesn’t try to crawl through the doggie door," she added, suddenly cracking up at the image. "Can you imagine?"

The blonde shot the dark-haired woman a warning look that told her not to go there.

"Suzanne, can I get you anything?" Anna disappeared into the family room before she lost her composure.

*  *  *

Surprisingly, there had been no word from John Moss. Lily had tracked the overnight package, confirming its delivery this morning. Perhaps he was out of the office today, she reasoned.

Leftovers were on tap for tonight, as Anna had called to say she would be late.

"Ready for dinner, you handsome boy?"

Chester lumbered to his feet and thumped his tail.

"Huh? You ready for dinner, handsome boy?" She was infinitely relieved that no one had heard her slip up and say that twice.

Chester sat by his water dish as she prepared his bowl. Lily scraped the foul smelling food from the can and chopped it up with a spoon. "Here you go, boy."

Scratching her nose, Lily discovered to her disgust that a morsel of Chester’s dinner had stuck to her finger, and was now smeared across her nostril. "Ewwww!"

Quickly grabbing a paper towel, Lily blew her nose and sniffed, the malodorous brown meal somehow pushed deeper into her nasal cavity. Lily blew again and again, but the odor persisted.

The ringing phone mercifully distracted her senses.

"Hello."

"I have a surprise for you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes. But if you want it, you have to go into the family room and sit on the couch with your eyes closed until I tell you to open them."

"Sounds kinky."

"No, it isn’t kinky at all." Anna chuckled at her private joke.

"So when do you want me to do this?"

"Well, I’m pulling into the driveway, so right now would be good."

Lily walked into the family room and sat on the couch, picking up the sound of Anna’s car pulling into the garage. She had no idea on earth what her lover could be bringing.

"Close your eyes tight. I’ll tell you when you can open them."

"Okay." Lily clicked the phone off as she got the dial tone, closing her eyes as she leaned back on the couch. The door opened and she heard Anna walk in.

"You can open them now."

Lily opened her eyes and blinked, expecting to see something in her partner’s hand. Tracking now to her lover’s face, she took in the stunning surprise.

"You cut your hair!"

Anna smiled almost bashfully as her lover appraised the new do. It wasn’t short, but the long locks were gone. Her full style barely brushed the tops of her shoulders, the wispy bangs tickling her eyebrows.

"Anna, I can’t believe it. It’s… gorgeous!" Lily jumped up to see the back and sides. "What made you do this?"

"Jackie’s been after me to do it for awhile, every time I go in for a trim. I figured, you know, I’d been wearing it the same way for the past six years. It was time for a change."

"Well, I love it. Really. It’s beautiful."

Relieved, the tall woman wrapped her arms around her lover. Leaning in for a kiss, she suddenly stopped and sniffed, her face contorting. "Honey, you smell like… dog food."

Lily sighed. "I got some of Chester’s food in my nose," she groaned.

"What on earth were you doing to get dog food in your nose?"

"Stop it!" She playfully slapped Anna’s shoulder. "I’m going to have to take a whole shower to get rid of that smell."

"I still can’t imagine how you did that."

"You want supper?"

"I’ll just get a sandwich. Any word about Andy?"

"No, nothing. I guess John was busy today." Lily headed into the kitchen to fix her lover’s favorite, peanut butter and jelly.

"Do you think there was a problem?"

"I don’t know, babe. Everything was in order on our end, I think, so if there was a problem it was with Kristy." Lily didn’t even want to think about that. "You want to see the new room?"

"They delivered everything today?"

"Sure did."

The women had visited a furniture store on Sunday, selecting a child’s suite that included not one but two twin beds; a small desk and chair; a chest of drawers; and a tall cabinet, which had drawers and shelves on one side, and a place to hang clothes on the other. The salesman had explained that the latter piece would leave the closet free for toys. On that note, Anna’s impulse drive kicked in, and she bought a large toy box as well.

The distinct ring of Lily’s phone sounded as she was showing her partner the room.

"Be right back."

Anna walked from one piece to the other, running her fingers along the smooth wood. The simple pinstriped bedspreads were folded down to reveal dark blue sheets. She could picture Jonah in this room, playing with toys from the toy box. It was a good room for a little boy, and when her nephew ran away from home, he could always come here.

Anna turned out the lights and followed the sound of her lover’s voice to their bedroom, where Lily sat on the bed with the phone pressed to her ear.

"Yes, the 7:05 is fine."

What?

"Returning at six… book those please." Lily reached into the drawer of the nightstand for the organizer she kept on hand. Reciting the credit card number and billing address, she completed the reservation. "Thank you."

"You have to go back to San Francisco." Anna put it together easily.

Lily nodded grimly. "Tomorrow. Kristy wants to meet her sister."

CHAPTER 11

"I TELL YOU, Southwest Airlines might be just a taxicab in the sky, but at least they know how to get the goddamn doors open!"

Lily nodded knowingly at the businessman as they all cooled their heels waiting for a gate agent to drive the jet bridge to the plane’s door.

"What? They weren’t expecting us?" another man groused.

"Oh, Marge, look who dropped in! It’s a planeload of people!" the first mimicked sarcastically.

As they had taxied to the gate, the pilot boasted of their early arrival into San Francisco International; a clear mistake given the fact that no one was available to greet them. No one anywhere had ever actually arrived early, Lily guessed.

Passengers watched through the small windows as the jet bridge finally moved toward the plane, backing up twice so that it actually aligned with the plane’s door. By this time, most on board were willing to leap across a four-foot gap, baggage and all.

Lily spotted the familiar Honda in the passenger pick-up line, feeling guilty at the number of passes Moss must have made in this traffic.

"Hi. Sorry I’m late."

Moss handed her a cup. "Me too. Your coffee won’t be as hot."

"Bless you!" Airplane coffee was possibly the worst.

"There’s a preliminary hearing first thing this morning. Her PD says we should be able to get in to see her right after that. He wants to get this out of the way." Kristy’s public defender was irate that his client hadn’t just signed the forms. He needed to have her focused.

"So where are we headed now?"

"I thought we’d hang out at the courthouse, then walk over to the jail when it’s over. What’s all that?" he asked, gesturing at the briefcase she carried.

"Work. Case files. I have to be in court tomorrow for placement hearings on eight kids. I thought I could finish prepping these on the plane."

"We can probably find a quiet bench at the courthouse if you want to work while we wait."

The attorney had already tried working on the way up, but her mind kept wandering to the meeting with her sister. Unable to concentrate, she’d finally put the folders away.

"Do you think we could slip into the courtroom for the hearing? I mean, I know it depends on what they’re talking about, but if it’s open, would you mind if we went in?"

"You want to get a look at her, huh?"

Since she’d gotten the call from Moss the night before, Lily had played out the jailhouse scene a hundred times in her head. What would she say to this stranger? Would she feel a connection as the woman’s sister? Would she even want to?

"I just think it would be easier to face her at the jail if it wasn’t the first time."

"I don’t have any idea what she’s going to want from you. But if you don’t mind some advice, I’d suggest that you try to limit the discussion to Andy. That’s what this is all about."

That certainly simplified it. If she could just go in and convince the woman that Andy would be better off living with her in LA, they’d be done. The attorney had been doing just that sort of thing for other children for seven years. But it had never mattered this much.

Moss reached the parking garage and began the circular climb, finally finding a narrow space on the seventh level. At the main door, they passed through the metal detectors and Lily submitted to a search of her briefcase. Elevators took them to the third floor, the criminal court division of San Francisco County, where Judge Madeline Wostyk had been assigned to the Graves case.

Moss gave the tall varnished door a gentle tug and to his surprise, it gave way. Both could see that the door opened at the side of the courtroom, rather than at the back. Their entrance would not go unnoticed.

Taking a deep breath, Lily entered shaking, immediately meeting the expectant green eyes of her younger sister, seated at the defendants’ table alongside her attorney and the man Lily recognized as Kenneth McGinnis. Hurriedly taking a seat in a row near the back, the small blonde positioned herself behind a taller man who would shield her from Kristy’s view. Sliding in beside her, Moss casually patted her knee as a gesture of support.

Seeing her sister in person for the first time had been a rush. There was simply no other way to describe the sensation. Lily’s heart had quickened noticeably as redness crept up her neck. To a woman who was not easily intimidated, the emotion was incomprehensible.

To calm her nerves, the attorney turned her attention to more comfortable ground; in this case, to the matters of the court.

Today, there was no evidence or argument. Judge Wostyk was ruling on several preliminary motions, including whether or not to allow cameras in the courtroom. The case had sparked national interest, as Peyton Graves had served on several business and philanthropic boards. His threatened candidacy for governor had become the model for strong-arming politicians to remember their extreme constituencies. Recognizing this interest, and dismissing out of hand the argument that the case could possibly become more sensationalized, the judge ruled that cameras would be allowed, but under the usual guarded conditions.

Wostyk then handed the prosecution a victory, allowing all of the physical evidence that had been gathered thus far to be admitted during the trial. The public defender had sought to suppress first the pawn tickets and items from the Graves home, which he argued were discovered in an illegal search; and all subsequent discovery of blood and DNA, as they would not have been obtained without benefit of the aforementioned items. Only the murder weapon was left unchallenged.

Moss discreetly approached the bailiff’s desk with a business card, asking that it be passed on to the public defender. Lily squirmed uncomfortably as she watched the attorney speak softly to her sister before both turned to look her way.

In a final proclamation from the bench, the trial date was confirmed for a week from Monday. There was no gag order in place, so the parties were free to posture for the press. Four deputies stood to escort the handcuffed prisoners back to the jail.

"You ready for this?" Moss asked.

With a single nod of her head, the attorney grimly walked into the hallway. "How far is the jail?"

"Just a couple of blocks. Let me go firm this up, and I’ll be right back." Moss walked back inside to the defense table and spoke briefly with the public defender, who gave his approval.

Kristy’s public defender had identified Lilian Stuart as an attorney so that she wouldn’t have to wait until evening visitor hours. He was very eager to have this out of the way, and quietly, as negative press about a neglected child would reflect poorly on his client.

Security at the jailhouse was much tighter than it had been at the courthouse. Lily placed her small handbag in her briefcase, leaving it with Moss as she proceeded through a physical search. The San Francisco County Jail wasn’t much different from the one in LA, she thought. Following a guard into the gated elevator, then through two locked checkpoints, she finally reached the area set aside for attorney-client consultations.

A simple table stretched across the width of the small room, two chairs on each side. Lily sat with her back to the windowed door, forcefully calming her jagged nerves with peaceful thoughts: the LA beach at night, the San Gabriel Mountains… The sound of the opening door brought a tingling to her spine. It was time.

The deputy escorted the prisoner to a chair on the opposite side of the table, explaining in an official monotone the procedures for the visit. Kristy would remain seated at all times. When Lily was ready to depart, she would knock on the door. A deputy would be posted directly outside the door, peering in from time to time.

Finally alone, the women silently appraised one another, both fascinated at the facial resemblance. More incongruous were the dissimilarities: Kristy was thin and frail, with an almost white complexion. Lily was muscular, her tanned face and arms evidence of her outdoor life. Lily was a natural blonde; it was difficult to discern Kristy’s natural color. Since her arrest, her hair was a dull red, almost burgundy, with lighter roots. Tough to get the Clairol in here, Lily surmised.

"So you’re my big sister," Kristy started.

"So it would appear."

Kristy smirked, folding her arms across her chest. "Guess Mother had some secrets."

"Lisa Parker went to jail when I was four years old and I was put up for adoption by the state." After all these years–and last year’s cleansing visit to the cocktail lounge where her mother worked–the bitterness about the circumstances surrounding her adoption was gone. Had she not been separated from Lisa Parker, she might well be wearing an orange jumpsuit too. "But just so you know, you’re not the only one surprised here. I… had no idea you existed until I saw you on TV."

"I was on TV?" Kristy seemed amused, even proud.

Lily didn’t answer, not sure how to address the woman’s silliness.

"How did you know it was me? I mean, that I was your sister?"

"Well, first of all was the physical resemblance. Then when they said your name was Parker, I was pretty sure. So I had somebody I knew at social services look you up."

"Social services," she sneered. "What is it they call that? An oxymoron?"

Lily waited for the woman to elaborate, but apparently she felt her statement said it all.

"Lilian… I bet they call you Lily because it’s cute."

"As a matter of fact, they do."

"Lilian Stuart. Lily Stuart. Little Lily Stuart." Kristy mocked her sister’s name. "So what was it like growing up with the Stuarts? Lots of brothers and sisters around the Christmas tree, I bet."

"No, it wasn’t like that at all." How much did she want to tell this woman who seemed to resent her very existence? "I was adopted by my first grade teacher. It was just the two of us."

"Ah, a teacher’s kid. And now a lawyer." Kristy was back to her amused tone. "Ironic, isn’t it? You are a lawyer. I have a lawyer… Say, how about you being my lawyer?"

"Sorry. Criminal law isn’t my thing." I wish I could have been your lawyer 20 years ago.

Silence hung for several moments as Lily weighed whether to broach the subject of Andy herself, or wait until Kristy satisfied her curiosities.

"So why do want Andres?" Now the prisoner’s tone had turned suspicious.

"Because he needs a place to live where somebody will care about him." That was the easiest answer, and Lily hoped that Kristy would just accept it.

"I’m told he’s doing okay. That’s what the social worker says anyway."

"Andy is okay. He’s safe. He has a comfortable bed. He gets three meals a day, but nobody cares whether he likes his food or not. Nobody cares that he spends the night on the couch because he keeps the others awake with his asthma. Nobody cares about much of anything, as long as he doesn’t misbehave."

"Why do you care?"

Lily knew she was going to have to answer this question carefully, as the naked truth–that without more caring intervention, Andy might end up in this very jail–might trigger a defensive or hostile response.

"Kristy, I… I don’t know what it was like for you at home when you were growing up. I remember some things about when I was there–not a whole lot–but I’ve read some of the social workers’ reports and the court proceedings. The bottom line is that our mother didn’t take very good care of me." That was Part One.

Shifting uncomfortably in her chair, Lily continued. "When they took me away from her for good, I lived in about seven different places before Eleanor Stuart took me home. There isn’t a day that I don’t look back on that and think of it as the luckiest day of my life. It was the first day I can remember getting a hug from a grownup." That was Part Two.

Kristy was listening, but she wouldn’t make eye contact with her sister. No doubt she was thinking of her own life with Lisa Parker.

"I went to see Andy at his foster home a couple of weeks ago. He was very shy when I first got there, but after a while, he played with me. He talked to me and he showed off; and when I left, I asked him for a hug. I don’t know why, but I got the idea that he hadn’t had one in a very long time. That’s when I decided that I wanted him to come live with me. Kristy, he’s a wonderful little boy. And he deserves to have somebody care about him." And that was Part Three.

The redhead continued to stare at the floor, masking whatever emotion simmered under the surface.

"I never hurt him, not once."

This was the opening Lily had needed. "But somebody did, Kristy. And you did what was best for him then, giving him up so he’d be safe. I’m asking you to do what’s best for him now. Let me take him back to LA."

"Who’s Anna Kaklis?"

Shit! "She’s my partner."

If Kristy were at all surprised, she didn’t show it. Most likely, she had read the documents carefully–what else did she have to do?–and had already realized that her sister was gay. "Is she a lawyer too?"

"No, she sells cars."

"She must be pretty good at it. Nearly half a million a year?"

And that’s just her salary, kiddo! "It’s family money. They own a few dealerships." It wasn’t exactly a lie, now that Anna had completed her stock distribution to include David, Kim and herself.

"Well I’d say you sure landed on your feet."

The resentment had returned to the prisoner’s voice. Lily needed to bring her back to the issue at hand.

"So will you sign the papers for Andy?"

"I’ll think about it." The wheels were already turning in Kristy’s head. Andres was the only thing she had that someone actually wanted. If she and Kenny beat this, like he kept saying they would if they both kept their mouths shut, Lily and her partner might be willing to give them money for the "privilege" of keeping her child. And if they didn’t beat it, she didn’t give a flying fuck what happened to anybody else. "I’m through here. Call the guard."

*  *  *

Lily emerged from the secure building feeling as though she’d made her best case. Andy’s fate would ultimately come down to what kind of person his mother was.

"How’d it go?" Moss asked. Lily’s face was unreadable.

"She’s going to think about it… whatever that means."

"That’s probably a good sign. If she didn’t come right out and say no, I think her attorney will keep the pressure on her over the next few days."

Lily nodded pensively. "Maybe you’re right. Listen, would you excuse me for just a couple of minutes. I need to make a phone call."

"Sure."

The attorney removed her cell phone from the compartment inside her briefcase and walked across the courtyard to a bench. When all she wanted was to leave a message for Anna, she would dial the direct number to her office. But when she needed to speak to her partner, she called the receptionist. Carmen always knew where her boss was.

The car dealer took the call in the empty conference room. "This is Anna Kaklis."

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Lily! How did it go?"

"Okay, I guess. It was pretty weird, though."

"What did she say? About Andy, I mean," she asked anxiously. In other words, was Lily bringing home a small child tonight or not?

"She said she’d think about it. I honestly don’t know what she’s going to do."

Anna could hear the disappointment in her partner’s voice. "I’m sorry sweetheart. I know how much you wanted this." If Lily was her usual self, she wouldn’t talk about it all once she got home. "So you’re going to head on back here?"

"Yeah, I’ll probably get a cab as soon as I finish up with John. Listen, I was thinking about something on the way up here, and after the way things went with Kristy, I wanted to call you."

"What is it, hon?"

"I… I was thinking about what would happen if she said no, you know, how I would feel about it. Now that I’ve actually seen her, I’m pretty sure I’d be very disappointed, probably even angry. But if I get that way, Anna, I don’t want you to ever think that it’s because what we have isn’t enough for me. It is enough. You’re the only thing in the world I really need."

Anna was deeply moved by her partner’s declaration. She knew in her heart that Lily somehow needed this child too, but that need was for Andy alone, not because she needed to fill a gap in her life.

"Sweetheart… I love you too." That said it all. "So what time will you be home?"

"I’ll probably go into the office for a couple of hours to get ready for tomorrow. Maybe we’ll just order a pizza tonight. Okay?"

"That’s a deal. Safe travels." Anna started to hang up. "Oh, and Lily? It’ll work out, baby. If she says no this time, we’ll just try something else."

God I love that woman! Lily closed her eyes and said a silent "thank you" that Anna Kaklis was in her life.

*  *  *

Chester announced the arrival of his taller mistress as Lily was putting the finishing touches on their Friday night dinner.

"Lily? Holly’s here," Anna called from the family room.

"Hey! I haven’t seen you in a while." Lily followed the excited dog in to greet the new arrivals. Holly was the sales manager at Premier BMW, and Chester’s dog sitter when she and Anna went out of town. "How about joining us for dinner? We’ve got plenty. I’ll just add another plate."

"No, I can’t stay. Ravi’s fixing chicken curry tonight." Holly’s new husband taught physics at Loyola Marymount. In a joking way, Anna had tried to warn her about those professor types.

"She needs to borrow Chester this weekend," Anna explained. "Is that alright with you?"

Lily was perplexed. "Of course, but why anyone would need a basset hound–especially this one–is beyond me." Oblivious to the insult, the hound presented his soft white stomach for scratches.

"Didn’t Anna tell you? We got a new Labrador, and he’s driving us nuts. We thought maybe he could use a calming influence. If this works out, we may go to the shelter and pick out an older dog."

"You got a Labrador? I always thought you’d get a dachshund." The blonde was going somewhere with this, but Anna couldn’t tell where.

"A dachshund?" Holly repeated gullibly. "Why did you think that?"

"Well, you being from Texas and all."

Neither Anna nor Holly could make the connection.

"Why would my being from Texas mean I’d get a dachshund?"

"Aren’t you guys always telling people to get a long little doggie?" Lily stepped back quickly from the swat that would accompany her partner’s groan.

"Oh, Ravi’s going to love that one," Holly grinned. At least someone appreciated Lily’s brand of humor.

"What if you left Chester and took Lily?" Anna suggested.

"Oh, right! Can you imagine what my dog would be like by Monday?"

Lily retrieved Chester’s leash and three cans of his food. "Just make sure the learning process only goes one way, Holly. We don’t have any use for a basset hound that acts like a Labrador. If you ruin him, you keep him."

Chester happily dashed out the door to the waiting convertible. The dog had no loyalty.

"What’s for dinner?"

"Mmmm… something you like."

Anna spotted the spread on the table first. "Tapas!"

Lily had set out a wheel of brie, Anna’s favorite tapenade, a small slab of smoked salmon, and a thinly sliced seeded baguette. As the car dealer took a seat, she added the final dish.

"You made gazpacho!" In the center of the chilled bowl was a tower of finely chopped peppers, tomatoes and onions, with a scoop of guacamole on top. "When did you have time to do all this?"

"I only worked until noon today. We interviewed a new guy this morning for the part-time slot. I liked him a lot." Lily would go to full-time in three more weeks when the funding kicked in, picking up referrals from a Hispanic women’s shelter.

"What was he like?"

"He’s just out of school at DePaul. He’s African-American, he’s gay, and he moved here to be with his partner. He’d really like to take over the cases from the AIDS grant. Plus, he did a lot of housing work at the student clinic in Chicago."

"You liked him?"

"A lot. We talked to a couple of people earlier who were just looking for work, you know, anything at all to get started. But they all want to get a little experience so they can move on. This guy–his name’s Allen Avery–acts like he really wants to do this kind of work."

"So you think Tony will hire him?"

"Definitely. And if he’s good, I’m sure we’ll find a way to get more funding so he can come on full-time."

"Sweetheart, how are you going to feel about going back to work full-time? Are you going to miss having time off during the week?"

Ever since the possibility rose that Andy might come to live with them, Lily had been thinking about this a lot. "I’ve been sort of thinking about… staying at part-time."

"Oh yeah?" Anna was surprised to hear of this new development.

"Yeah. I was just thinking… you know, if Andy comes to live with us, it might be hard on him to be in day care all day. Maybe if he were older, but he’s just so little."

Anna hadn’t really considered all that. "You mean you’d stay at part-time so you could be home with him?"

"Well, I think it would probably do him some good to be with other children his age, at least some of the time." Lily almost always recommended day care, or a pre-school program like Head Start for the children she dealt with. They needed to learn social behavior. "I thought maybe he could go to pre-school for half a day, and I’d pick him up in the afternoons."

Anna nodded. They sure didn’t need the money, and it made sense that it would be good for the child. "But what about on Thursdays, when you’re in court all day?"

"We’d have to make some special arrangements for that. Maybe you could take Thursday afternoons off," she teased.

Anna’s face went nearly white, her eyes wide with… was that terror? Surely, Lily wasn’t suggesting that she be left alone with this boy.

"Whoa! I was just kidding." Lily was surprised, and even slightly disappointed at the reaction on her partner’s face. "We could work out something else for Thursdays. Besides, it’s all a pipe dream now anyway. I don’t even know what’s going to happen."

The call came as they were loading the dishwasher. Kristy had signed the papers.

CHAPTER 12

I NTERSTATE 5 WAS A desolate stretch of highway, especially from the bottom of the Grapevine to the cutoff for 101.

Every other time I’ve driven this, it’s taken forever, Anna thought. Today it’s like we’ve gotten here in no time at all.

"Boy, this is a long drive, isn’t it? Seems like it’s taken forever today." Lily interrupted her thoughts, reaching across the console to lay her hand in the driver’s lap.

"It’s going to be a really long day," the dark-haired woman answered noncommittally. They had left the house at six a.m., two travel cups of steaming coffee getting them as far as Gorman, where they stopped briefly for a drive-thru breakfast.

Lily was plainly excited.

Anna was terrified. This was really happening. On their return trip, they’d have a small child in the back seat, coming to live with them and to change their lives. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, she wasn’t so sure. What if he didn’t like her? What if they were unable to control his behavior or meet his needs? Anna had witnessed a number of behavior problems among the children at Kidz Kamp; Lily had explained that most of these youth had poor role models at home, and that being with other children in foster care often brought out the worst in even the best kids.

"I told John I’d call when we got to San Jose." Lily dug for her cell phone and dialed the number Moss had scribbled on his business card. He would not be in his office on Sunday, but was willing to meet them and handle the exchange at the foster home.

"Hi John. It’s Lily. We’ve just gotten to San Jose, so I guess we’ll be there in about 45 minutes. You still want us to come to the house?"

Forty-five minutes!

"I remember how to get there… Yeah, I picked up a few things for him yesterday."

That was certainly an understatement. Moss had called back on Saturday morning with Andy’s sizes, recommending that Lily get several items for him. The boy had very little clothing of his own, and no toys at all. The attorney had called her sister-in-law, unsure of where to shop for the right things.

"Just go to Target, Lily." She used the French pronunciation of the discount department store. "Kids grow so fast, they get dirty, and they don’t give a damn about labels. You know who would love to go? Mom! Call her, she’ll know just what to get, and she’ll have a ball."

Lily and Martine had had a field day buying clothes: underwear, socks, shorts, t-shirts, jeans, sports sandals, two bathing suits, two nice shirts and a sweater. Lily discovered that she loved kids’ pajamas, and bought five different sets; along with slippers that looked like racecars, right down to the headlights that flashed with each step.

Next came the toys. Lily went heavy on the cars, buying two sets of a half-dozen matchbox cars, a plastic dump truck and a long red fire truck with moving ladders and hoses. To service these vehicles was a gas station and garage. Thirty feet of plastic segments snapped together to make roads and intersections; signs and stoplights completed the set.

At Martine’s suggestion, Lily also picked up a set of three toy boats. "Bath toys," her mother-in-law explained.

Lily thought of passing altogether on the standard teddy bear, but Target had a special on bears dressed in Dodger uniforms. That was a must.

"Just follow the signs toward Candlestick Park." Lily found herself shaking with excitement, Anna with anxiety. At Lily’s direction, the driver wheeled the X5 into the open space behind John Moss’ Honda.

"You ready for this?" Lily eyed her nervous partner.

Anna nodded hesitantly.

"I love you, baby. I hope you know how much it means to me that you’re willing to do this."

Despite her trepidation, a small smile made its way onto Anna’s face. She’d do anything for this woman beside her. "Well, what are we waiting for?"

Lily got out and walked around. Together they crossed the street and climbed the steps to the second floor entrance. Mary Beth Shull met them at the door.

"Welcome back."

"Thank you. Mary Beth, this is my friend Anna Kaklis." Friend? That was weird, but Lily found she didn’t want to share her personal life with this humorless woman.

"Pleased to meet you." Anna shook the foster mother’s hand formally.

"And this is John Moss." From the kitchen doorway, the slender man took two large strides across the living room, holding out his hand to the tall woman.

"Hi John. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Lily and I both really appreciate your hard work." Anna’s eyes darted around the room, where two small boys sat quietly in front of the TV. They looked too old to be Andy, she concluded.

"It’s my pleasure. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you as well." Lily’s partner was strikingly beautiful, he thought. "Do you two want to go upstairs and meet Andy, or would you like me to bring him down?"

Lily shrugged, imagining that the boy was hiding again.

"Here’s his stuff," Mrs. Shull offered, handing Anna a brown paper grocery bag, folded down over halfway, foster care’s unofficial suitcase. The boy really had very little. "John said you’d gotten some things for him, so I won’t worry about sending the other things. I’ll keep those on hand in case I get another one that doesn’t have anything."

That was fine with Lily, but she wanted Andy to have at least a few familiar belongings. "Are his favorite things in the bag?"

"No, his favorite t-shirt is in my rag pile. It’s ragged and it has a hole in the side. But he loves it. I practically have to hide it to keep him from wearing it every day."

"Would you mind if we took it?" Lily persisted. "I don’t care if it’s dirty. I just want him to have something he’s comfortable in."

Mrs. Shull left to retrieve the dirty shirt. Moss had started up the stairs.

"You want to come up or wait here?" Lily posed the question to her partner.

Anna looked about anxiously. "Do not leave me alone."

Lily chuckled. "Calm down, Amazon. We’ll be out of here and on our way soon." Taking her partner’s elbow, they slowly followed Moss up to the small bedroom.

The frying pan or the fire? The tall woman wasn’t sure at all that getting out of here was the answer to her fears.

Entering the bedroom at the top of the stairs, the pair found Andy sitting on the edge of the lower bunk, his feet far from reaching the floor. In his hand was the small matchbox convertible, the one Lily knew was his favorite. From his stained cheeks, it was apparent that he had been crying.

"Hi Andy," the blonde said softly, smiling as she stepped toward the obviously surprised child.

Anna watched the boy’s face light up, at once captivated by the red-rimmed green eyes that reminded her of Lily’s. He was dressed in dark blue gym shorts, with a white t-shirt and tennis shoes. A small scrape on his knee had scabbed over.

"Surprised to see me, huh?"

He nodded, never taking his eyes off the smiling face.

"So I guess John didn’t tell you the big news. I’m going to take you home with me today. Would you like that Andy?"

The boy didn’t answer, warring within on whether or not going with this woman that he liked was worth giving up the security of this place he had gotten used to. Worst of all, Mary Beth had told him this morning that he couldn’t take any of the little cars.

Lily squatted down to eye level with the wide-eyed youth. "Andy, do you remember when I told you that a friend of mine liked cars? Well, here’s my friend. This is Anna, and she knows everything about cars. How about that?"

Andy shifted his eyes worriedly to the car dealer, then back to Lily.

"Hi, Andy." Anna squatted alongside her partner, gently touching the boy’s shoulder to say hello.

Interesting… Lily thought. I don’t know which one of these two is more afraid. "So you ready to go, pal?" The blonde woman stood and held out her hand to the small boy.

"I have a few papers for you to sign," Moss interrupted, "and Mary Beth has written up a few things about this young man here that might help you get to know each other over the next few days."

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Anna’s worst nightmare came true: Lily, John and Mary Beth disappeared into the kitchen and she was left alone by the front door with the small boy.

Standing less than a foot away from the towering figure, Andy had to tilt his head straight back to see this other woman who knew all about cars. Anna felt his eyes on her, glancing down then back up. He continued to stare until finally, she spoke.

"Andy, do you like dogs?"

Quickly the boy shook his head, his wide eyes clearly frightened.

Uh-oh! Damage control was definitely in order. "Big dogs are scary, aren’t they?"

Andy nodded along with the tall woman.

Anna knelt alongside the child. "Even dogs that are only this big are scary, too, aren’t they?" She held her hand even with boy’s chest.

Again he nodded.

"But dogs that come up to only here aren’t scary at all, are they?" This time, she held her hand just below his waist and shook her head no.

Obviously conflicted, Andy didn’t answer.

"Especially when you sit on the floor and they… lick you on the face!" Anna quickly trailed two fingers across the boy’s cheek, causing him to squeal and cover his smiling face with his hands.

"What’s going on in here?" Lily was delighted to hear the laughter, even more so because Anna was undoubtedly the cause.

"Nothing. We were just talking about dogs… licking you on the neck!" This time, she tickled the boy’s neck with those same fingers and he dissolved in giggles, reaching out now to return the favor.

"Andy, you know this is not a playroom," Mrs. Shull warned sternly.

Stunned by the senseless reprimand, Anna quickly stood and held out her hand to the boy. "Andy, why don’t you tell Mrs. Shull goodbye, and we’ll go on out to the car?" Andy, why don’t you tell Mrs. Shull to piss off…

"Bye," he answered, not even turning to look at the foster mother who had kept him in her home for the past two months.

"Thanks, Mary Beth," Moss interjected, steering Lily to the door as well before she could deliver a parting shot. Social services needed people like the Shulls; the alternative was unimaginable.

As they approached the car where Anna and Andy waited, John finished his instructions. "I’ll be in touch with Sandy at least once a week. If you need me for anything, you have my number."

"I think we’re going to be fine, John," the attorney assured.

Anna opened the back door of the X5 and motioned toward the back seat. "Do you want some help, or can you climb up there by yourself?"

Eager to show off his climbing skills to this new person, Andy gripped the car frame with one hand and the door with the other, pulling himself onto the running board. From there, he scampered easily onto the floorboard, then knee first into the seat, turning finally to face the front.

"Nice job." Anna pulled the seatbelt across his tiny body and matched it to its mate, double-checking the security with a firm tug.

Lily stopped her as she reached for the driver’s door. "Oh no, you don’t, Amazon. You drove all the way up here."

Anna continued into the driver’s seat, snapping her own seatbelt into place. "You know what they say about possession."

Lily rolled her eyes, thanked the social worker one more time, and walked around to the other side. From the passenger seat, she had a direct view of their new charge. Andy squirmed as he burrowed his shoulders into the plush leather of the seat, his hands wandering across the textured bench.

Anna pulled away from the curb and executed a tight U-turn. Waving one last time to Moss, they were headed to LA.

"Andy," the car dealer began. "This car is called a BMW X5. Can you say that?"

He seemed genuinely interested in this piece of information, and Lily helped him repeat the name.

"And now this: BMWs are the best cars on the road."

Lily smiled and repeated it herself with animation, then helped Andy with the phrase. His formal education on cars was officially underway.

*  *  *

Barely 30 minutes out of San Francisco, the small boy had hardly made a sound. From her vantage point, Lily could see the fear and doubt on his face. "Is something wrong, Andy?"

Immediately, tears sprang to the youngster’s eyes, but words were not forthcoming. Thoughts of change could be overwhelming to small children as they imagined themselves in new and different places.

"It’s okay. You shouldn’t be afraid."

Anna had been watching him in the rearview mirror, and had an idea. "Lily, how about getting on the phone and finding out where the BMW dealer is in San Jose?"

"I know where it is. Why? Is something wrong with the car?"

"No, I just have an idea, that’s all."

"Are you going to share or keep us in suspense?"

"Suspense is good." She winked at her partner, who proceeded to direct her along the expressways that would take them to Stevens Creek Boulevard, or "Auto Row" as it was known locally.

Twenty minutes later, they were pulling onto the lot, squeezing into a tight space between a customer’s car and a brand new 330i with its hood up.

"I won’t be but a minute if you want to just wait in the car." Anna got out and disappeared into the busy showroom.

Andy stretched his neck to see all the cars on the lot, wishing he were tall enough to see the inside of that one right beside them. He had never seen underneath the top before.

Lily took a moment to peruse Mary Beth Shull’s handwritten notes on the boy while he was in her care. His last physical was in January, but she had taken him to the doctor three times during his relatively short stay in their home. One of the visits was asthma-related, and Mrs. Shull had concluded that the persistent coughing was–at least partially–attention-seeking behavior.

What a load of crap! Lily fumed as she thought again about the child being exiled to the sofa at night because of his difficulty breathing.

The attorney flipped through the pages quickly to find out what the other two visits were for. The physician’s word jumped off the page: enuresis… bedwetting. Not a big surprise, really. The boy wasn’t even four years old yet. From her notes, though, Mrs. Shull was convinced that this was Andy’s passive aggressive response to her demands for discipline. In her mind, the child was both lazy and spiteful, caring nothing about himself or the trouble she went through each morning to dry his bed. As far as Lily was concerned, if Andy was doing it on purpose to protest his treatment, well… good for him!

The tall woman emerged from the showroom with a small white plastic bag, accompanied by a salesman who carried a large box. Opening Andy’s door, she reached in and unbuckled the belt.

"Why don’t you scoot over to the other side for a minute, Andy?"

The child quickly complied.

The salesman removed the bulky piece from the box, stripping away the plastic wrap to reveal a car seat. Efficiently, he demonstrated how it melded into the seat, securing it by the seatbelt. Anna adjusted the shoulder straps for an older child, and held them back while Andy crawled in. Most four-year-olds were just leaving their car seats, the salesman had explained, but once he saw the undersized child, he realized the advantages of the accessory.

Andy realized it instantly as well. From this new vantage point, he could see the shiny black motor inside the car next to him without having to stretch his neck. It was amazing!

Anna thanked the salesman and climbed back into the driver’s seat. "Andy, do you remember what the best cars are?"

Lily helped him by whispering. "BMWs," he answered.

"That’s right. And do you remember what kind of car this is?"

Lily waited while he thought. "Five."

"That’s close. It’s an X5, and this one is Lily’s car. My car is different. My car is called a Z8. Can you say that?"

"Z8," he repeated clearly. That one was easy.

"Good." Reaching into the white bag she’d brought with her from the showroom, she drew out a small box and passed it through the console. "This is what my car looks like." It was a matchbox Z8, just like the custom imported convertible that sat in their garage.

His formal education on cars continued.

*  *  *

Anna pulled into the driveway and pressed the button for the garage door opener.

"I’ll come around and get him," Lily said, keeping her voice low so she wouldn’t wake the sleeping child.

It was after nine, and Lily thought it best just to let Andy continue his restful sleep. They had stopped for dinner at a family restaurant in Bakersfield, the women unable to stomach the idea of two fast food meals in one day.

Both were on the lookout for evidence of the boy’s picky eating habits, and were pleasantly surprised to see him eat most of his fried chicken pieces and French fries. Anna even persuaded him to try a small bite of the coleslaw, laughing as the boy tried gallantly not to make a face.

Andy wasn’t at all what the tall woman had expected. Her fear of the child had temporarily vanished the moment his foster mother scolded him for actually having fun. In that instant, she understood exactly what Lily had said about what he needed to thrive. With the car seat and toy car, she had found favor with the boy, but she couldn’t bribe him with gifts over and over.

Now that they were home, Anna found herself once again daunted by the prospect that they were now responsible for this small person. Fortunately, Lily seemed willing to take the lead; and it was likely that Anna’s role would be minimal. She would leave for work at seven, like she did every day, and come home 12 hours later. If tonight were any indication, the child would probably be asleep soon after that.

Lily unbuckled the shoulder harnesses and gently lifted the sleepy boy from the SUV, drawing him to her chest. Tucking one arm firmly underneath his buttocks, she used her other hand to guide his head to her shoulder, where he promptly returned to dreamland. Anna got the door, then forged ahead of her partner to turn on lights. When they reached the boy’s bedroom, Lily knelt down to seat him on the edge of the bed.

"Andy? I need you to wake up for a little while so you can change into your pajamas and go to the bathroom. Can you do that?"

The boy opened his eyes, taking in his new surroundings. There were two beds, but he couldn’t see anyone else. Would he be the only boy in this house, like he had been in the house before Mary Beth? There were two large pictures of cars, one over each bed. There was a desk like the one Mr. Shull had in the corner of the living room, but this one was smaller, and it had lots of books on the shelf over it.

The tall woman walked over and laid the small sports car on the bed beside him. He was glad she had bought it for him to play with while he lived here.

Lily opened the top drawer of the chest and took out a pair of pajamas. "Andy, why don’t you go to the bathroom and then wash your hands and face while I get your bed ready?"

Wordlessly, he scooted down off the bed and walked toward the room where the tall woman had just turned on the light. Once inside, he closed the door, pushing against it with his hip until he heard the click of the catch. Mrs. Shull got angry when the boys left the door open.

"I need to get a couple of plastic trash bags from the kitchen," Lily said as she rushed past her partner. Moments later, she was back.

"What are those for?"

"I read the notes from Mrs. Shull on the way down. She says Andy wets the bed. I can go tomorrow and get a plastic liner for the mattress, but these will do for tonight." Hastily, the two women pulled the sheets down and spread the trash bags, retucking them just as the small boy emerged from the bathroom.

"Did you wash your face and hands, pal?" Lily asked.

She’s got this mother thing down pat, Anna thought.

Andy nodded. He liked the footstool that stood in front of one of the sinks. It was easy to reach the water and he didn’t get his shirt wet.

"Okay, why don’t you put these pajamas on and I’ll see if I can find your new toothbrush." Lily looked at her partner and asked, "Will you help him with the buttons?"

Anna sat on the bed as Andy shyly took off his t-shirt. Clumsily, he slid his arms through the armholes and started to button. Sure enough, he began the task with trying to put the first button through the second hole.

"Let me help, Andy." She reached out and guided the first button home, then the second. "Can you do the rest?"

It was painstakingly slow, but eventually he finished. Anna held out his pajama bottoms and he quickly pushed the shorts over his shoes.

"Andy, why don’t you take your shoes off next? That makes it easier to get the pants on." Nothing to this mother stuff, she thought smugly.

The boy promptly sat in the floor and tugged off his shoes, not bothering with the double-knotted laces. Taking the pants from the tall woman’s outstretched hands, he pulled them up past his knees, then stood and continued to his waist.

"Here you go, Andy." Lily appeared in the bathroom doorway with a toothbrush and toothpaste. "Let’s do this last thing, and I’ll read you a story before you go to sleep."

Andy dutifully obeyed, and with Lily’s hand guiding his up and down, the job was soon finished. "Good job!" she praised enthusiastically.

Lily was mildly disappointed to find that Anna had left the room. She could hear her lover on the phone downstairs.

"Let me show you a couple of things before you go to bed, okay?"

The boy nodded. He had barely said a word since he had awakened.

Lily bent down and scooped the small child up in her arms. Walking out the bedroom door, she stopped on the landing at the top of the stairs. "If you wake up tonight and need something, just come into this room. But be careful right here. I don’t want you to fall down the stairs."

She continued onward into the master suite. "Anna and I sleep in here. If you need something, you can come in and wake one of us up. It’s okay."

Walking back down the hall, she heard her partner closing up and turning out the lights. It had been a very long day and they would go to bed soon.

"Okay, pal. Do you have anything you want to ask me before you go to bed?"

"No," came the small voice.

Back in his bedroom, Andy got under the covers as Lily selected a book. Turning off the overhead light, she used the soft light from the bathroom nightlight to find her way back to the bed, where she switched on the bedside lamp.

"Want to sit up a while so you can see the pictures?" she offered.

Eventually the boy settled into her side and she began reading the short book, stopping on occasion to point out pictures or ask questions. She was pleased that Andy was paying very close attention to the tale of the talking toys.

"Okay, I’m going to stop here so you can go to sleep now. I’ll read the rest of it tomorrow night. Would you like that?"

"Yes," he answered, sliding down in the bed.

Lily straightened the covers and knelt down low. "Andy, I’m really glad you’re here with us. Anna’s glad too." With those assurances, she delivered a small kiss to his forehead. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

Lily turned off the bedside light and walked out, leaving the door barely ajar so that a small stream of light would creep into the room from the hall. A nightlight at the top of the stairs lit the entire landing.

The exhausted blonde found her partner in the bathroom getting ready for bed.

"I’m beat," Anna said.

"Me too. Who were you talking to on the phone?"

"My girlfriend. I told her I couldn’t get away tonight. I… didn’t know you could hear."

Lily popped her lover with a washcloth. "Not funny, Amazon."

"It was Holly. I asked her if she’d keep Chester for a few more days until Andy got settled."

"Chester! I forgot all about Chester."

"Don’t worry, I won’t tell him." Anna wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and let her lips chase away any thoughts that there could ever be anyone else. "I love you."

"I love you too. You were great today. I think Andy likes you."

"You think?" Anna knew he liked the car, and he had certainly enjoyed their little game that Mrs. Shull had interrupted. Still, she knew it would probably take quite a while for the little boy to loosen up around either of them.

"Definitely. I can’t believe you got him to try the coleslaw."

Anna chuckled. "Did you see his face?"

The women traded their perspectives on the day as they finished getting ready for bed. Anna followed Lily’s lead and kept her nightshirt on as she got into bed.

"Is this how it’s going to be?" she asked, running her fingers along the ragged purple tank top.

"Just until he gets used to being here. I told him to come on in if he had any problems. Later on, we’ll teach him about knocking on doors and waiting for permission. I think we’ll be able to go back our… natural state then."

"Let’s hope he’s a fast learner."

Alone in his room, the small boy laid awake long past the time when the adults turned their lights out, knowing with a certainty what would happen if he fell asleep.

CHAPTER 13

"A ND THIS IS the kitchen," Lily told the child as they entered the brightly lit tile room where her partner sat reading the paper and drinking her second cup of coffee.

Getting Andy up had started out badly. He held the covers tightly as Lily tried to pull them back.

"Come on, Andy. Let’s go downstairs so we can have breakfast with Anna before she leaves for work."

Still, he refused to move.

"Are you worried about something, sweetheart? Did you wet the bed last night," she asked quietly, doing her best to keep any sign of rebuke from her voice. Seeing the tears rush to the frightened boy’s eyes, she quickly added, "It’s okay if you did, Andy. Those things just happen. It’s because you’re still little. When you get older, it won’t happen anymore. It’s not your fault."

This was definitely a new message. Mary Beth had gotten angry and upset every morning.

"Let’s clean you up a little bit and get you some dry pajamas, okay?"

Andy followed her into the bathroom, where she helped him out of his wet things. He didn’t seem to mind when she pulled off his underwear. Gently, she washed his legs and buttocks with a washcloth, finally handing it to him. "Can you wash this part yourself?" She gestured to his private area. "You shouldn’t let other people touch you there, okay?"

"It’s private," he said in agreement. Mary Beth had said the same thing when he took his bath.

"That’s right." Lily was relieved to see that he’d already gotten some early training on that. Many of the children she encountered in her work were not so lucky.

"Good morning, Andy," Anna looked up to an adorable sight: the boy holding her lover’s hand as he took in his new surroundings. He was wearing fresh pajamas, and his new car-like slippers. She had heard the pair laughing as he walked again and again toward the full-length hallway mirror, where he could see the headlights flash with each step.

"Can you say good morning to Anna?" Lily coaxed. Little by little, they hoped he would open up.

"Good morning," he finally said.

"Go on over to the table and I’ll bring you some breakfast."

Anna moved the newspaper from the padded bench that bordered the bay window. "Sit over here by the window, Andy."

They boy’s eyes went wide as he climbed up on the seat and spotted the swimming pool for the very first time. "What’s dat?"

Almost shocked that he had spoken, Anna followed his pointing finger to the pool. "That’s a swimming pool. Do you like to swim?"

The boy shrugged his shoulders. He had never been swimming before.

"We’ll give a try later, okay?"

Lily brought his cereal and juice, and took the opportunity to tell him that he must never go out to the swimming pool by himself.

Anna checked her watch and stood. "I need to go to work. You two have a good day." Quickly, she gave her lover a peck on the lips, not sure what the new rules were about showing affection. She got her answer when she felt the tug on her shirt.

"I know you can do better than that."

Anna smiled and delivered a loving kiss that Lily felt all the way down to her bare feet. As she pulled away, she felt another pull. Lily jerked her head discreetly to the small boy who was intently pursuing the little round oats in his bowl.

Okay. Anna wasn’t sure what to do here, but decided just to go for it. Slipping around the table on the padded bench, she gave the child a soft hug and a kiss on top of his head. "I’ll see you tonight when I get home, Andy. Have fun today."

*  *  *

Hal looked up from his desk to see his wife once again navigating the doorway with a heavy-laden stroller and a toddler in tow.

"Again?" he asked, already knowing the answer. Catching the jubilant Jonah as he raced into the room, Hal stood and gave his wife a welcoming kiss. "Hello, beautiful," he cooed into the stroller at Alice. "So where’s my lunch?"

On cue, Anna entered with soft drinks. "Your pizza will be here in about 10 minutes. Hi Jo-Jo!"

The boy squirmed down to give his aunt a hug. Anna was suddenly struck by the difference between her reaction to Jonah and to Andy. With her nephew, the show of affection was clearly automatic. She never had to stop and think about what she should do; she just did it naturally. With Andy, she weighed her words, and questioned at each juncture how to show the child affection.

Of course, there were differences between Jonah and Andy, she reasoned. She had been close to her nephew since the night he was born, and he was after all, her sister’s child. Is that why Lily seems so natural around Andy, because he is her nephew?

"So you have a little one in your house now, eh?" Kim was excited to hear all about Andy, but sensed that this little emergency session wasn’t so that Anna could boast about the new addition.

"Yeah, we brought him home last night."

"How did it go?"

"Okay, I guess."

Kim was almost amused at her sister’s discomfort. The very thought of someone who wielded Anna’s power and confidence being intimidated by a four-year-old made her itch to be a fly on the wall at the Brentwood home.

"Tell me what he’s like."

"Well, he’s cute, very cute. He’s got curly brown hair and big green eyes like Lily’s." That was Anna’s favorite part. "He’s pretty small, not much bigger than Jonah. He doesn’t say much, but Lily says he might open up once he gets used to us. He’s got a gorgeous little smile." Anna smiled herself when she thought of the tickle game.

"He sounds adorable. I can’t wait to meet him. Maybe we should have a play day next weekend so that he and Jonah can get together."

"Maybe so. That might be fun." Anna twirled a pencil as her thoughts of Andy went on.

"Was there something else you wanted to talk about, Anna? The last time you called me down here, you were panicked about him coming. What is it you’re feeling now?"

Anna sighed. What she was feeling was guilty–very guilty about her reaction to having Andy in their home. She wanted to talk, but she was almost ashamed of what she might say.

"Kim, I’m going to tell you some things that I’m not very proud of. I need to know that this conversation will never leave this room."

"Anna, you should know by now that I don’t tell your secrets. I never have."

Anna nodded her agreement and sighed again. "I… it’s… I think it’s going to be hard to get used to having a little kid in the house all the time." There was a lot more to it than that, but that was as good a starting place as any.

"Well, I know what you mean by that. It’s definitely different. But Hal and I had a lot of time by ourselves before Jonah. Plus, we had nine months to get ready for him."

"How do you guys deal with it?"

"Well that depends on what you’re asking. We still have sex." She grinned, anticipating the blush that her candor would produce. She was not unrewarded.

"But that’s just one thing," Anna answered. "We’ll figure that part out if I have to set the alarm for the middle of the night." It was pretty high on Anna’s priority list to sort that out soon. "But it’s more than just having our private time, it’s… pervasive. He’s going to be the center of breakfast every day, and of dinner every night, and pretty much everything we do together."

Kim was beginning to understand the problem. Her sister was jealous. "You know, little kids are like that. They need things; they need a lot of attention. And they pretty much need it all the time, because they don’t understand yet how other people fit in."

"I know, and that’s why I feel so… guilty. Andy really needs Lily right now, and I’m afraid I’m going to resent it."

Anna’s omission of how Andy might need her also didn’t escape the redhead. Maybe that’s what her sister needed to confront.

"Do you think it’s possible that Andy might need you too?"

"Oh, I don’t think so, really. Lily pretty much takes care of everything."

"How do think Lily feels about that?"

"I don’t know. I think she likes it."

"You mean she likes doing everything or she likes doing it by herself?"

Ouch! That stung a little.

Kim went on. "I love my children, Anna, and no matter how many times I’ve threatened to sell them to the gypsies, I enjoy doing things for them. But I want Hal to enjoy it too, and not just because I sometimes need his help. I want him to be able to share the feeling with me, and I want my children to know that they can depend on their daddy too."

Anna immediately made the connection to her friend Carolyn, who wanted to share everything about Sarah with Vicki. Kim was saying the same thing about Hal. So far, Anna had gone through all the motions of supporting her partner–agreeing about what was best for Andy, changing things in their home, driving to San Francisco to get the boy–but without a genuine need of her own. No, she did what she did because it was the right thing to do, an obligation to both her partner and her own sense of reason.

"Sister, listen to me." Kim reached out and took the dark-haired woman’s hand. "You and Lily said you didn’t know how long Andy would be with you. If it’s only a little while, it probably won’t be a big deal. But if it’s longer, you’re going to need to work this out with Lily. Otherwise, one of you is eventually going to have to make a choice."

Anna didn’t want to hear that part at all. Leaving Lily was out of the question, and she knew she’d do anything to have her partner stay. If Andy lived with them forever, she’d figure out how to make it work.

"We’ll work it out, Kim. I just need to grow up."

"Anna, you have a right to your feelings. You made an unselfish choice about bringing Andy into your house, and there may be times that you wish you hadn’t. But you can’t ever let that little boy think that he’s the problem. He won’t be able to deal with that."

That much Anna understood. Andy’s self-esteem needed a boost, not a blow.

"And I’m here for you anytime you need someone to talk to. Hal’s a great babysitter, and we can have a standing Monday appointment, as far as I’m concerned."

"We just might, Kimmie." Anna loved her sister, and just realized that they’d made it through this whole deep conversation without a single sarcastic remark.

"That’s fine with me. With a little luck, horror stories about Andy might make me feel better about my own kids."

The car dealer chuckled. That smartass was the sister she knew and loved. "Thanks for coming down again."

"No problem. So ask Lily about all of us getting together next weekend. Jonah has toys, but you guys have a pool."

"We’ll do it. Maybe you can bring a few toys. I don’t know what Andy likes, except for cars."

"He likes cars?"

"Loves them."

"Sounds like an omen to me, Sis."

*  *  *

Day by day, Anna, Lily and Andy settled more and more into their new routine. Lily had gotten the boy into a pre-school program near their home, and on Wednesday night after Lily’s AA meeting, the three had gone to dinner at the home of Anna’s parents. It was important for everyone to meet, since Martine had stepped up to fill in as babysitter on Thursdays when Lily was in court.

Lily had made Allen Avery’s day when she asked Tony to take the young man on full-time. For the time being, she would continue at part-time, and would seek additional funding if she decided to expand her work hours.

By Thursday night, the blonde had had the "knocking on the door" talk with the boy, and the lovers enjoyed their first intimate evening since getting their new addition. All in all, things seemed to be going well for everyone.

On Friday, Anna brought Chester home. Despite his initial fears, Andy was delighted with the dog, and the basset hound too seemed to enjoy this new addition. Anna showed the child how to scratch Chester’s belly, and sure enough, Andy got the licks in the face that she had promised in San Francisco.

The Sunday play day turned into an all-day family pool party, with Andy finally loosening up a little. He was thrilled when Anna and Hal tossed him back and forth in the water, and Jonah’s dinosaur inner tube was perfect for kicking the length of the pool and back.

Sandy and Suzanne stopped by for burgers later in the afternoon as the social worker completed her obligatory "home visit" so that she could report back to the agency in San Francisco.

"You guys did a great job on the bedroom upstairs," Sandy congratulated her friend.

"Everything you said was perfect. The bed, the step stool, the nightlights. I think he’s settled in pretty well," Lily said.

"Are you and Anna doing okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. At first, it was… I don’t know… like she didn’t know what to do, so she just stepped back and let me take care of everything. But look at her now." Both of the women smiled as they watched the tall beauty playing in the pool with the two boys and the others. Even George had joined them, while Martine had volunteered for Alice Duty.

"You guys are going to turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to Andy Parker." Those were the very words she had shared with John Moss.

"I hope so, Sandy. But who knows how long he’ll get to stay here. I think that sister of mine could change her mind on a whim."

"Maybe, but with that trial starting tomorrow, I think she’s going to be too busy to think about Andy at all. It wouldn’t surprise me if you and Anna were driving him to his high school graduation."

That thought both thrilled and frightened Lily. She and her partner hadn’t really talked about Andy being here permanently. But in the week he’d been there, she already knew that she wouldn’t want to see him go.

Anna was herself loosening up with the small boy today. It was easier to interact with him when she was around the other adults, especially when they were playing with such spontaneity. All of them worked hard to balance their time and attention between the two boys.

Lily had put her on the spot one night, telling Andy to ask her to play with him and his cars on the floor in the family room. There was no way she could graciously decline, but she felt a little self-conscious at first. Eventually, she learned all of Andy’s "rules" and began even having a little fun motoring the miniature car through the boy’s grid of streets in the make-believe town. The best part was telling Andy that she kept hearing the engine knock on the matchbox Cadillac. He listened again and again, finally proclaiming that he heard it too.

"So how come you’re not in the pool?" Sandy asked.

"Well somebody has to cook! And besides, Anna and I went in with him this morning before everybody got here so he wouldn’t be afraid. He said he’d never been swimming before."

"That’s hard to believe. Look at him. He’s fearless."

"Yeah, I think he trusts Anna to keep him safe. Probably the first time he’s trusted anybody," she added cynically. "Hey, dinner’s ready. Suzanne, you want to see if you can get those guys out of the pool?"

Always eager to eat, Suzanne walked to the water’s edge and made the announcement. Gullibly, she offered her hand to Hal as he started up the ladder, and found herself sailing headfirst into the deep end, tennis shoes and all.

*  *  *

Jury selection in the Peyton Graves murder trial dragged into its second week, not at all unusual for a case with an abundance of pretrial publicity, not to mention the possibility of a death penalty. Lily followed the news faithfully, but little was released during this period. The public would know nothing about the jurors until after the trial.

A 12-person jury, with two alternates, was finally seated on the second Thursday. Amid vehement protests from defense counsel, Judge Wostyk decided to forge ahead with opening arguments on Friday. That put the defense at a decided disadvantage, since the prosecution could use the entire day to outline their case, not giving them a moment’s opportunity to rebut what was said. The jury would take home that story–and only that story–for the entire weekend.

Lily concurred with the defense that it was bad news for them, but she couldn’t cite a single a case that was overturned on appeal because of a scheduling decision like this one. A tough break was what it was, probably neither the first nor the last for McGinnis and Parker.

The attorney had programmed their PVR system to record Court TV each day from nine a.m. to five p.m., the usual court day minus an hour and a half for lunch. She would watch as much as she could, but she didn’t want Andy to see his mother under these circumstances.

Staying home on Friday, Lily was able to watch the beginning of the trial live. The prosecutor first told the jurors that the state would prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Kenneth McGinnis and Kristy Parker had brutally murdered Peyton Graves at his home on the night of March 25th. Piece by piece, he detailed the state’s evidence: items belonging to Graves and pawn tickets for other items, found in the possession of the accused; bloodstains that matched Graves’ DNA found on Kristy Parker’s jeans; hair samples found at the scene that matched Parker’s DNA; and finally, the murder weapon, a bloody knife found wedged between two newspaper racks near Graves’ home.

The prosecutor went on to hypothesize about what the defense might say with regard to this damning evidence, and attempted to poke holes in what he called "a completely implausible scenario." Lily used this technique sometimes herself, designed to "inoculate" the judge or jury against any evidence they might hear later.

When she returned at 1:30 from picking up Andy after pre-school, Lily played with him for a while in his room, then encouraged him to take a short nap. That gave her a few minutes to catch up on the afternoon court session. The prosecutor was still rolling, talking about the brutality of the crime, and why it warranted the death penalty. He prepared the jury for the pictures he would show: pictures of a man who had been viciously killed in a rage by two people who cared nothing for the sanctity of human life, "those two people," he said, pointing to McGinnis and Parker.

Lily took notice of her sister’s appearance in the courtroom. She was dressed in a simple skirt and round-collar white blouse with buttons up the front and flowers on the right breast pocket. She had probably never worn anything like that in her entire life. Her hair was brown, not the burgundy it had been, and the roots had been freshly dyed.

Since she first appeared in court at the nine a.m. session, Lily had noticed a subtle change in her sister’s appearance. At that time, she was calm and collected, sporting an almost defiant air. This afternoon, she seemed rattled, staring at the table and fidgeting with a paperclip. To Lily, she appeared childlike and frightened.

"Lily?"

Startled by the small voice, the attorney fumbled with the remote to turn the TV off before the child spotted his mother.

"Hi there. Did you have a nice nap?"

Andy nodded, obviously still sleepy.

"Come here and sit with me."

Little by little, Andy was getting closer to the women in this new house, especially this one. So far, they had both been pretty nice, and neither one had yelled at him for anything. The tall one was kind of scary sometimes. She didn’t say very much, so he wondered if she was mad at him for something that he did. He started to climb up on the sofa beside Lily, but she grabbed him instead and pulled him into her lap.

"Do you like living here, Andy?"

"Yes."

"I thought so. What do you like about it?"

"I like my room, and my toys, and Chester."

"Uh-huh. What else?"

"I like the swimming pool."

"Anything else?"

Andy was in a quandary. He really liked Lily a lot, but what if he told her and she didn’t like him?

Lily could see that he was stuck, maybe even too shy to say anything else. "You know what I like, Andy? I like you. I think you’re a very good boy, and I’m very glad that you live here."

That got a bashful smile, which in turn, earned him a fierce hug.

"Let’s go to the store and get something good for dinner, okay?" For the first time in his young life, the child had a say-so about what foods he might have for dinner. His personal favorite was macaroni and cheese, but he also liked mashed potatoes and gravy. Lily explained that people usually had one or the other for dinner, but seldom both. She allowed him to pick out one vegetable–it was a house rule that he would try at least three bites of a vegetable each night–and she would choose the others. He had chosen broccoli, saying it reminded him of "little trees." That in turn reminded Lily of the Cornish hens she had always called "little chickens."

She was pleased that Andy’s appetite had improved somewhat over the past couple of weeks, and had passed this information on to John Moss by email. The best news was that the boy hadn’t had a single asthma attack, even after Chester came back home. All of this translated to a healthier, happier, well-adjusted child.

Andy’s new chore at dinner time was to scrape the dog food out of Chester’s can into his bowl. Both boy and dog liked this, though dog thought it took much longer when boy did it. Dog was right.

"Hello, everybody!" the car dealer called from the family room.

"There’s Anna. Go tell her what we’re having for dinner."

Andy rushed into the family to greet the tall woman. "We’re having pork chops… and macaroni… and little trees… and applesauce… and…” Quickly he ran back into the kitchen to look at the table. "And bread," he announced as she entered the kitchen.

"Hi baby." Lily stopped stirring the macaroni and cheese and gave her lover a welcoming kiss.

"Something smells good… could it be… pork chops?"

"Did somebody tell you that already, or did you just guess?"

"I told her," Andy squealed.

Anna looked in the pot and rolled her eyes. She hated macaroni and cheese. A lot. But it was Andy’s favorite food, and since they were trying to get him to eat some of everything, he had asked why she didn’t have to eat some of everything too. Very astute lad.

"How would you like to have a couple of visitors on the lot tomorrow?" Lily asked as they were sitting down at the table. "I think Andy would really enjoy seeing where you work."

"I don’t know," Anna teased. "I just work around a bunch of cars. You don’t like cars, do you?"

Andy’s eyes lit up. Anna had his undivided attention.

"Which cars are the best?"

"BMWs!" he practically shouted.

"Right answer! Why don’t you come around two? I’ll give you both a tour."

Lily’s phone interrupted their dinner–again! "Just let it ring." And ring it did. Voicemail picked up after the fourth ring; but no sooner had it stopped than it began ringing again.

"Fine!" Lily stormed off, ready to give some poor telemarketer an earful.

"Hello!" she barked. "She what? John, you can’t be serious. What on earth could she want with me?"

By her lover’s tone and the general conversation, Anna put it together that John Moss was on the phone, and this call was about Kristy.

"Did she even say anything about… him? Did she even ask how he was doing?" Lily looked across the room at the child, who was digging into his macaroni and cheese, oblivious to the fact that he was the subject of the call.

"That’s just great, John. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have to talk with Anna. I can’t believe she thinks she can just snap her fingers like that." Lily was fuming. "What can she do if I say no?"

Anna watched her lover slowly calm as she listened to Moss’ reply.

"What do I need to do?" Removing a pen from the drawer, Lily jotted down the public defender’s name and telephone number. "Okay John. Normally, I’d say thanks for calling, but I could have done without this one."

Lily returned to the table, no longer interested in dinner. The three made casual conversation until Andy had finished most of what was on his plate.

"Andy, why don’t you go set up your streets in the family room, and I’ll come and play with you in a little while, okay?"

When he was gone, Anna reached over and clasped her lover’s wrist. "She’s asking for you?"

Lily nodded grimly. "She wants to talk to me on Sunday night, then she wants me to come to the trial and sit behind her."

"That’s ridiculous. Just tell her no."

"Anna," Lily paused, knowing that she might have to go against her partner’s wishes here. "John says she threatened to pull Andy out of here if I didn’t come. She told him that she would ask to have him placed with our mother instead." The very thought of that made Lily physically ill.

CHAPTER 14

"L ILY, I DON’T think I can do this." Anna was practically wailing.

"Sure you can. We’ve been through everything, and I even wrote it all down. It’s only for three days."

And three nights! "I don’t…” Anna was frantic. "What if he has another asthma attack?"

Andy had gotten sick last night, shortly after Lily had told him that she needed to go away for a few days. Still coughing at bedtime, she had asked Anna to bring the rocking chair from the other bedroom into his room, and she had rocked him for over an hour until he calmed down and fell asleep.

"Just hold him and rock him. Try not to let him get excited."

"Lily, how do you know Kristy’s not just jerking you around?"

"What difference does it make, Anna? She has the final word on what happens to Andy. If she gets pissed off, he gets to live with his loving grandmother. Been there, done that."

Why was Anna being so difficult? She had sulked for the last two days, all through Lily’s instructions on bathing, dressing, bed changing, cooking, and emergencies.

"Has it occurred to you that maybe she’s just bluffing? She probably couldn’t care less where Andy lives," the tall woman persisted.

"I can’t afford to take that chance. There’s just too much at stake."

As the time drew nearer for Lily to go to the airport, Anna grew more and more anxious. "You know, this is going to be really hard on Andy."

Lily had had enough. "Is this really about Andy?" She couldn’t keep the anger from her voice. "Because I have to tell you, it sounds to me like it’s about Anna. I know you’re scared to do this. I know you’d rather I didn’t go. But I don’t really feel like I have any choice. And I don’t appreciate you making me feel guilty about it." Her voice was shaking as she finished. It had been a very long time since they’d had a fight of any kind.

Anna knew she was being selfish. Of the three of them, her needs were the least right now. She had a supportive family, and Martine was more than willing to help this week by picking Andy up in the afternoon and feeding him dinner before Anna came for him after work. Lily had patiently shown her everything she needed to know. But she was afraid… desperately afraid.

"I’m sorry. I just…” Her voice trailed off. There was no legitimate excuse for the way she was acting and she knew it.

"Anna, why are you so worried about this?"

"I don’t know. I… What if…? Suppose he…” If there was a complete sentence in there somewhere, it wasn’t coming out.

Lily felt sorry for the woman as she floundered about, trying to articulate her fears. As she finished her packing, she sat down on the end of the bed and patted the space next to her. "Come here, sweetheart."

Anna moved to her side and immediately took her lover’s hand. "Lily, it’s just that I’m worried that your being gone will upset Andy, and I won’t be able to deal with it. Not for me, but for him. What if I can’t reassure him? I’m not good at this like you are."

"Honey, you’re better than you think. Andy likes you. He loves it when you play with him. I can see it. His whole face lights up when you get down in the floor with him."

Anna smiled a little at her lover’s cajoling. She was ashamed at being such a baby about all this. Andy likes me?

"Anna, right now, Andy’s afraid too, and he really needs for you to be there for him. I really need it too. You’ve been wonderful about all this, and I love you more than you could ever know. Please hang in there with me, sweetheart."

"Of course I will." Anna put her arm around Lily’s shoulder and pulled her close. "I’m sorry for being such a jerk."

Lily was silent but returned the hug, burying her face into Anna’s soft neck.

"You’re supposed to say ‘Oh, you’re not being a jerk.’"

"Oh, you’re not being a jerk," Lily complied.

*  *  *

Goddamnit! Lily was fuming as she cooled her heels in the lawyer’s conference room. Kristy had sent word that she had a visitor, and would join her "lawyer" when visiting hours ended.

Shortly after eight, the door opened and her sister was escorted to the usual chair. Again, a deputy recited the visitation rules, finally stepping outside to her post.

The women eyed each other, Lily with suspicion, Kristy with the usual amusement.

"Mother says hello," she smirked.

"What do you want, Kristy?"

"Is that any way to greet your sister? The mother of the child you’re supposedly caring for?"

Lily didn’t rise to that bait. She was waiting to know why she’d been summoned again to this jail.

"Okay, have it your way. We don’t really need to have any friendly chit-chat."

Still the blonde sat quietly, glaring at the impish woman.

"What do I want? That’s easy. I want to beat this and get out of here."

"What do you want with me?"

Kristy’s humor disappeared for the briefest moment as prepared to answer. "Here’s the deal. Our lawyer says it looks bad for Kenny and me not to have anybody from our families in the courtroom to support us. The jury will think we’re scum."

And you’re not? The attorney refrained from saying that aloud. The thought of participating in this kind of charade was repulsive.

"So I need for you and Mother to come to court every day and sit behind me. That way, the jury can see that I’m a person who is worthy of being loved." Kristy smiled facetiously, obviously loving this little game.

"I couldn’t do that, even if I wanted to… which I don’t. You’re forgetting that I don’t live here. I have a job in LA and in case you’ve forgotten, a child to take care of."

"Well I can fix it so that the child is not your problem. With me in jail, the state gives a guardian almost a thousand dollars a month for support, and Mom thought that sounded pretty good. And I can do that first thing tomorrow."

Lily was ready to leap across the table and strangle the bitch. Kristy didn’t care one whit about her own son’s welfare. Still, she held her temper. "And what happens to Andy if I come? We can’t both have him."

"No, but you might be able to work something out with her so that you get to keep Andres and she gets a little… financial help from her rich daughter."

"Not going to happen, Kristy," Lily answered adamantly.

"Fine. Then you should get home so that you can start packing his little things. Grandma’s going to be so happy," the prisoner sneered.

"I don’t think so, Kristy. Because you know all that money you keep talking about? I’m going to use it to hire the very best lawyers I can find. Believe me, we won’t have any trouble at all showing what a pathetic mother Lisa Parker would be. And in the middle of all that will be a sidebar next to this trial story about how you tried to use your own child to buy favor with a jury so that you wouldn’t look unloved." Lily stood and started for the door. "You want a fight? Bring it on!"

This was not at all the reaction Kristy had expected. She was supposed to be the tough one, not this fancy lawyer who was made soft by a privileged life. And now, her only chance to beat the hangman was walking out the door.

"Wait!"

Lily stopped and turned coolly. If she hurried, she might make the ten o’clock flight home.

"I need your help, Lily. They’re going to kill us for this." For the very first time since they’d met, Kristy showed her vulnerable side. The magnitude and seriousness of the trial had suddenly dawned on her when the prosecutor had laid out his case on Friday.

"Why shouldn’t they, Kristy? If the DA’s story’s right, you killed that man like a couple of savages."

"But I didn’t do it." The tough façade was gone now. In its place was a frightened woman–a girl really–looking for some kind of lifeboat that might save her from death row.

Lily slowly walked back to the chair but didn’t sit, instead placing her hands on the back and leaning forward. "Are you saying that your story about finding those things in the dumpster is true?"

The shaken woman didn’t answer right away. Kenny and their lawyer had told her over and over that they had to stick to that story. "No, but it’s not what you think. We just wanted some money. But he wouldn’t tell us where it was… and Kenny just lost it. I kept yelling at him to stop and let’s get out of there. But he just kept stabbing the guy."

Lily absorbed her sister’s words, filtering them both as an attorney and as a skeptical sister. "Then why is your attorney saying otherwise?" The public defender could be disbarred for knowingly allowing his clients to perjure themselves. Of course, it still remained in doubt whether McGinnis or Kristy would testify.

"It’s the story Kenny told him. Then he said he didn’t want to know anymore. I never get to talk to him without Kenny, and they both tell me not to say anything."

More than anything, Lily wanted to believe the woman, wanted badly to believe that her sister was incapable of such a brutal act. If what she said was true, McGinnis and the public defender were gambling with her very life on the slim hope that they would both be acquitted. If they were wrong, her sister would likely die for a crime she didn’t commit. But the older sister wasn’t convinced.

Besides, even if it were true, it didn’t excuse her sister’s participation in the crime, or in the cover-up. "Kristy, even if it’s proven that McGinnis did the actual killing, that’s no guarantee you won’t be convicted just the same. But your best chance to save your life is to come forward. If you cooperate, the DA might be willing to settle for a life term."

"Lily, if I tell that story, Kenny could get a needle up his arm," the younger sister said grimly.

"Are you willing to risk dying for him, Kristy? Is he worthy of that? It sounds to me like he’s willing to risk your life, but not his own." Lily pushed away from the chair. "You’d better think hard about that. Somebody needs to tell the DA what really happened."

As the words left her lips, Lily realized that she was in deep shit. Had she been here as Kristy’s sister, she could do what she wanted with all of these revelations. But in the jail’s records, she was here as an attorney, and therefore prohibited from revealing their conversation to anyone without risking disbarment. No doubt, the public defender had been looking ahead.

But the worst part was that her attorney status meant that she could be considered an officer of the court for the case. If Kristy were to testify to McGinnis’ version of events, she could be disbarred for not speaking up.

"Will you stay? Please?" The bravado gone, the small voice was pleading.

"What about Andy? I want you to quit jerking everybody around with him. None of this should concern him."

"Fine. He can stay with you." For the time being.

"I’ll come tomorrow. After that, I won’t promise anything."

*  *  *

Anna bent over the tub, adding two capfuls of Bubble Big to the running water. Her first thought had been to do the bath thing as expeditiously as possible: get in, get clean, get out. But Lily had explained that Andy enjoyed his time in the tub when he got to play a little bit, especially with the bubbles. Dutifully, the tall woman kept reminding herself that it wasn’t all about what she wanted. Adding two more capfuls, she reasoned that if bubbles were fun, twice as many would be twice as much fun.

"Andy? Are you ready?"

The boy came into the bathroom and eyed the growing white mass excitedly. Quickly, he discarded his clothes and placed them in the hamper behind the door like Lily had shown him.

In the two weeks that Andy had been there, Anna had never seen him completely naked before, avoiding the upstairs altogether when she knew it was bath time. To her mild surprise, he wasn’t the least bit modest, far too distracted by the allure of the bubbles, which now surpassed the rim of the tub. Oops.

When they got back from dropping Lily at the airport, Anna heated a frozen cheese pizza for Andy’s dinner, and threw together a salad for herself. He seemed happy enough with his food, but both struggled awkwardly for conversation. Most of her questions drew one-word answers; attempts to draw him out were met with silent shrugs.

After dinner, he played quietly with his cars in the floor of the family room. The highlight of the night was their usual short walk with Chester through the neighborhood, which the threesome had done together every night since the dog had returned home. Anna couldn’t help but smile as the small boy skipped ahead a few yards, then clapped his hands for the basset hound to catch up. Andy was undeniably cute.

Despite her reservations about bath time, the stand-in caretaker found herself having fun. Comically, she piled bubbles on top of Andy’s head, even fancying a beard and moustache on the child. As the bubbles started to fade, she helped him scrub his neck and ears, then his back, chest and arms.

"How about poking that filthy foot out here?" she teased, scrubbing and tickling first one then the other, all the way up past his knees. As Lily had instructed, she then soaped the washcloth and handed it to child, asking him to finish up by washing his own private parts. Thank goodness.

"Is there a particular story you want to read tonight?" Andy was dressed in his dark blue pajamas with the rocket ship on the front. He shrugged again, the familiarity of the playful bath scene forgotten.

"How about this one?" she asked, extracting a story of children who had stowed away to the moon. "This story has a rocket, just like this one." She started to tickle the appliqué on his chest, but suddenly remembered Lily’s cautions about getting him excited. The last thing on earth either of them wanted tonight was another asthma attack.

Grabbing his Dodger bear, Koufax–Lily had suggested the name to honor the pitching great–Andy pushed his feet under the covers and made room for the tall woman to stretch out beside him. A mere twelve minutes into the story, the weary boy was sound asleep.

Anna mentally checked off a day on the calendar. She had survived their first night alone. Only two more to go, and Lily would be home.

*  *  *

At 10 minutes to nine, the courtroom door opened, allowing the spectators and the press to enter and scramble for seats. Lily’s pass, which the public defender had left with bailiff, allowed her reserved seating in the row directly behind the defendant’s table. The blonde hoped that Lisa Parker had gotten the message that there was nothing in it for her to show up.

Moments after nine, the public defender appeared, leaning over with an outstretched hand. "I’m Terry Causwell, Kristy’s attorney. You must be Lilian Parker."

"Stuart," she corrected icily. No one had ever made that mistake, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it hadn’t been a mistake at all.

"Of course, I’m sorry. Thank you for coming. I really think it will help your sister."

At that moment, the side door opened and the two prisoners were escorted to the table. Kristy met her sister’s eyes and mouthed a silent "thank you," which surprised the blonde somewhat. The last few people filed in, the bailiff waiting for the courtroom to settle before summoning the judge. The last person through the door was Lisa Parker, who quietly took a seat beside the daughter that had been taken from her almost 30 years ago.

"All rise!"

*  *  *

"Good morning, Anna. Flat tire?" Carmen said cheerily to her boss, who grunted and stormed past on the way up the stairs where she slammed the office door shut.

Anna kept a change of clothes behind the door, ever mindful of the mess one could make when it suddenly became necessary to disassemble a motor. Angrily, she ripped off her tan Tahari jacket and ivory top, both of which now sported greasy black smears from crawling under the X5 for the matchbox car that Andy had dropped. Naturally, the navy top she kept for emergencies clashed horribly with the dark green slacks, so she was forced to change into the matching plaid navy skirt. That move necessitated hose, which she kept in her bottom drawer, and heels, which she did not. The first person who commented on her casual brown shoes would be fired.

The morning had been… somewhat less than ideal. Andy had probably had a restless night due to Lily being gone, and was very difficult to arouse. Twice, Anna had returned to his room to find that he’d fallen back to sleep. Must be in his genes, she mused, thinking of how Lily loved to languish in bed.

Finally dragging the small boy into the bathroom, Anna readied the washcloth as Andy stripped from the wet pajamas. She had laid out his clothes, but when he joined her in the kitchen few minutes later, he was wearing the favorite ragged t-shirt with the hole in the side. It immediately brought to mind Lily’s well-worn purple tank top. "No, no, Andy. That’s a shirt for wearing at home, not for going out."

So back he went to change, but now his mood was no better than hers. It didn’t help that she poured for him the same bran cereal that she always ate for breakfast… which he didn’t like. After watching the boy push it around in his bowl aimlessly for a while, Anna relented and dumped it out, discovering to her chagrin that they were out of the round oats. In a moment of inspiration, she smeared peanut butter and jelly on a piece of bread and folded it half. Over Andy’s protests that sandwiches were usually only lunch food, he finally finished all but the crust, but not without dropping a large blob of jelly on his clean shirt and shorts. That too must be in his genes.

Anna thought seriously about sending him on, but worried that he would tell her mother that he had in fact done this before leaving home. So back upstairs they went to find something new to wear. Anna threw the sheets and all the dirty clothes into a single load and started the washer.

Finally on their way out the door, the boy remembered his favorite toy–the matchbox Z8 convertible that Anna had given him on the first day they’d met. Andy rarely went anywhere without it. Twenty minutes later, Anna found it underneath the couch in the family room, but not before Chester had left a dirty footprint on the back of her top because she was, after all, crawling on the floor. A quick change and she too was ready to go.

She didn’t have time to switch the car seat to the convertible, so off they went in Lily’s car instead. Now 10 minutes late for pre-school, Anna hurriedly pulled him out, which caused him to drop the small car so that it rolled underneath the big one. And the rest, as they say…

"Anna, Greg Cahill is here to see you," came Carmen’s voice over the intercom.

"Send him on up, Carmen." How rude would it be for me to be barefooted when he got here?

*  *  *

Lily watched dispassionately as the public defender made his opening statements. In a skilled maneuver, Causwell took advantage of Friday’s turn of events, deliberately confusing some of the DA’s conjectures. Sure, the jury had had the weekend to mull the prosecution’s case, but they would have his statements fresh in their minds when they first began hearing the evidence.

From the corner of her eye, Lily could see Lisa Parker looking at her. The attorney was determined not to engage the woman at all. The very idea that this sorry excuse for a mother thought she could get money from her in exchange for Andy was repugnant.

When the court recessed for its mid-morning break, she quickly scooted to the opposite end of the bench, exiting and walking all the way around to the door. Lisa Parker waited, chatting briefly with her other daughter and the public defender.

Once in the crowded hallway, Lily dug for her cell phone and checked for messages. Finding none, she quickly dialed her lover’s office, hoping to leave a message of encouragement about Andy and share the news that Lisa Parker was sitting beside her in court.

"This is Anna." Recognizing the number on the caller ID, the car dealer had excused herself from Greg just a moment to take the call. "Is everything okay?"

"Peachy. You’d never guess who’s sitting next to me."

Anna knew at once. "How are you handling it?"

"Alright, I guess. How did your morning go?"

"Peachy. But I survived, and so did Andy." They had talked at length the night before, and she had assured Lily that she and Andy were getting by just fine, but that both of them wanted her to hurry home.

"Listen, I can’t talk long. This is just a break. Will you be around at lunchtime?"

"Yeah, but I don’t have much time today, sweetheart. Greg Cahill’s here, and Geri’s on her way over. We need to put the final touches on my speech for the Chamber meeting. Can we talk tonight?"

"Sure." Lily was disappointed but she understood. Besides, Anna was certainly doing her part to lend support. She couldn’t wait to hear how the morning had really gone.

*  *  *

"Sorry, Greg. Where were we?" The two were sitting side by side on the leather loveseat in Anna’s office, poring over the four-page speech she would make next Friday to convince Chamber members that she should be their vice-president.

"I gather that was your… significant other?" Greg had heard a bit of gossip recently from a couple of the members when he’d talked up Anna’s candidacy. In a subtle way, he’d chastised their behavior, noting that in a city like LA, their strength was their diversity.

"My partner, Lily. She’s in San Francisco today."

"What kind of work does she do? Is she a member of the Chamber?"

"She’s an attorney. I think her boss is a member, Tony LeFevre, but his is an individual membership."

"Oh, I know him. He’s the guy that runs the legal aid clinic downtown. Nice fellow."

"Yeah, Tony’s great. Lily’s been working there for almost seven years."

"I hope I get a chance to meet her someday."

"Me too, Greg."

Geri arrived soon after, and the threesome polished the speech for the rest of the morning. Geri suggested lunch at a popular Beverly Hills restaurant, but Anna declined, citing a backlog of work. In truth, it was the shoes.

*  *  *

"This court will stand adjourned until nine tomorrow morning." The public defender had finished his opening statement by 3:30, and both parties agreed to wait until tomorrow to present the first witness. The judge had given the jury strict instructions not to speak to anyone, to avoid news reports about the trial, and most important, not to form any opinions with regard to the case.

Lily picked up her purse and started again to slide out to the side when she was stopped by a hand on her arm.

"Lily? Aren’t you even going to say hello?"

The blonde woman turned and met the eyes of the mother who had failed her, now nothing more than an Oakland cocktail waitress whom she didn’t know at all, and didn’t want to. "Hello," she said simply, and turned again to leave.

"Lily, wait. I want to talk to you about Andres."

"I think I’ve already heard your thoughts on the subject, and the answer is no." If Lisa had more to say, Lily didn’t hear it, spinning abruptly and walking out, bypassing the elevator for the stairs. At the bottom, she hurried to the revolving door and pushed through, drawing in a deep breath as she exited. What a piece of work!

Walking back to her hotel room near Union Square, Lily fumed at Lisa Parker’s nerve. The very idea that she had any chance at all for custody of Andy was absurd. There was no way a judge would give her the child, even if it meant sending him back into foster care. Was there?

Lily quickly paced through the menu on her cell phone until she found the number for John Moss.

"This is John Moss. Can I help you?"

"Thank god you’re there! This is Lily Stuart. Is there any way I could drop by for a few minutes to talk about something?"

"Sure. Are you nearby?"

"Union Square. Give me 20 minutes."

Sooner than that, Lily was sitting in John’s cubicle, ranting about the woman who had sat beside her all day. "So I have to sit there and look supportive like one big happy family, or she’ll pull Andy out and send him home with that useless excuse for a mother. Can you imagine having yet another child in this world raised by Lisa Parker!"

"Lily, if it’s any consolation, I don’t think it would happen. Unless her circumstances have changed, she works nights, and the foster care system really frowns on that."

"But she’s married to that Haney guy. What if he stays home when she goes to work? Wouldn’t they argue that having somebody there all the time was better than putting him in day care? And god knows what she’d make of that DUI thing. And Anna! Wouldn’t she have field day with that!"

Moss could only listen as the blonde woman finished her laments. When she finally took a breath, he jumped in. "I wouldn’t worry about the Anna thing at all, Lily. If there’s any kind of hearing, it’ll happen here, and cases like this don’t get decided on the basis of sexual orientation. The gay community wields a lot of power in San Francisco."

That was a relief. "But what about Kristy? How much does her opinion count here?"

"Probably not at all if she gets convicted. We’ll move to sever rights as soon as the verdict comes down. But if she’s not, it’s really all up to her. Technically, she can just ask to have him returned, and we’re obligated to do that."

That Andy would go back to his mother was unimaginable to Lily. Yet, the only sure way to prevent that could be devastating also. Lily felt no compunctions about holding her sister responsible for her part in this crime, but she genuinely feared that Kristy might indeed be executed for her indirect role. From what she’d read about the case and what she’d heard in the opening statements, the outcome was a simple roll of the dice, and there wasn’t much middle ground.

"What happens if you sever rights, John? Where will Andy go?"

Moss leaned back in his chair and smiled slightly. He had been thinking ahead since the first time he met the woman across from him, and he liked giving good news. "I think there’s a better than average chance that he could be adopted by the first solid family that speaks up, especially if he’s already prospered under their care."

No, Anna can’t handle that, and I can’t ask her to. "That’s not what… I just want to know that he’ll be alright, and that he won’t go to Lisa Parker. That’s all."

*  *  *

"Do you want to spread out your roads again?" Anna reached for the box beside the couch that held all the street segments and accessories. "I need to go take a shower, then I’ll come back and play. Is that alright?"

Andy nodded, immediately dumping the box in the middle of the family room and sorting the pieces to build his little city. Anna was impressed that he never seemed to construct the same setting twice, and he had begun incorporating other items, making tunnels by stacking paperback books. I bet he grows up to be a city planner.

Just to be on the safe side, Anna left the bedroom door slightly ajar, thinking she could hear if there were any kind of emergency.

A hot shower would feel good. The service manager had popped into her office after lunch wearing a big grin, guiding her to the window where he showed the car that had just been brought in for a tune-up: a 1959 507, BMW’s timeless roadster. Unable to resist, Anna changed into her jumpsuit and spent the rest of the day in the garage.

The hot water penetrated her pores, soothing the tired neck and back that had bent over the classic engine all afternoon. Had Lily been home, she would have suggested the hot tub, but she couldn’t see going out there with the small boy.

The small boy… was now standing in her bathroom… where she was completely naked. Nervously, Anna wiped a wet circle from the shower door. Yep, that was Andy, alright.

"Is something wrong, Andy?" What should she do? Turn the shower off and cover up with her towel? Just carry on and act like it was no big deal? Tell Andy to leave the room at once?

"Can we go swimming?" he asked innocently.

Anna was still frozen in place. Nothing was wrong. He had asked a question.

"Uh, Andy? Would… would you mind going to sit on my bed until I’m finished? I’ll be out in just a minute and we’ll talk."

"Okay." She couldn’t make out his features through the steamy glass–and hoped that he couldn’t make out hers–but she saw him disappear from the room. Hurriedly, she finished rinsing off and stepped out, wrapping herself at once in an oversized towel. Crossing the open doorway to retrieve her robe, she noticed that the child sat obediently on the end of the bed.

"Thanks for waiting out here, Andy." What to say next? "Uh, when you get a little older, you’ll start taking baths all by yourself. For older people–like me, for example, or like Lily–taking a bath is more… private. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t come into the bathroom when an older person is taking a bath or a shower, okay?" There, that wasn’t so hard. Anna congratulated herself for getting all that out.

"But the door was open. Lily told me to knock when it was closed."

"You’re right, Andy, and I know that’s confusing. I forgot and left the door open. It’s okay."

"Are you mad at me?" He looked as though he might cry.

"No, of course not. You didn’t do anything wrong." Anna couldn’t help but notice the look of relief on his face. "And you know what? You’ve never done anything that made me mad. Not once. Or Lily either. Now, what was it you wanted to ask me?"

"I wanted to know if we could go swimming."

Andy asked for very little, so Anna hated to tell him no. "You know, it’s kind of late already. I had to work a little late tonight, and we only have few minutes before it’s time for your bath."

"But if I went swimming, I wouldn’t have to take a bath," he reasoned.

"Oh no, it doesn’t work that way. Baths are with soap. That’s how you get clean. Swimming is just water–no soap."

Andy nodded as though he understood, though he was noticeably disappointed about not going swimming.

"Tell you what. I’ll try to get home a little earlier tomorrow and we’ll go swimming for a little while. But you still have to take a bath, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed excitedly. Now he would have something really fun to look forward to.

*  *  *

The next morning was thankfully uneventful. Andy got to pre-school on time; Anna got to work on time; and neither had to change clothes again.

True to her word, the car dealer took the child for a swim when they got home, showing him the lever under the bush that made bubbles in the hot tub.

"It’s like a bubble bath!" he exclaimed with excitement.

"Not quite, because it doesn’t have…”

"Soap!"

"That’s right. And speaking of soap, it’s time for your real bath now. Are you ready to get out of this tub and get into the other one?"

Anna agreed to one more trip across the deep end, her hands holding his as he kicked frantically. Lily would be proud of both of them if she could see them now.

As soon as they got inside, the phone rang and both had a chance to talk with the weary woman, worn out already from two days of the trial, followed by two long evenings in her hotel room preparing her cases for Thursday.

Andy got his bath and was ready for his story when the phone rang again. Anna guided him toward the bed, telling him she’d be right back. It was her lover again, calling back to finalize her arrangements for coming home the next night.

"I’m booked on the six o’clock flight. We’ve been getting out about 4:30, so that should be plenty of time to get my bag from the hotel and get to the airport. Should I get a taxi?"

"Are you kidding? You’re going to get a welcoming party." Both Anna and Andy would be very glad to herald her return.

"I can’t wait. I’ve missed you."

"I’ve missed you too." Anna sat on her bed, smiling as they exchanged sweet words. It was nearly 15 minutes before she remembered her charge in the other room.

"Oh, no. I have to go, sweetheart. Andy’s waiting for his story."

The boy was just getting into bed when Anna returned and picked up the book he had selected. Like last night, he was asleep only a few minutes into the story. The hour-long swim had worn him out. Anna stored that information for future reference. She was envisioning already a Sunday afternoon nap for the lad while she and her lover got reacquainted.

*  *  *

"I got some of that cereal you like," Anna told the smiling boy. "Do you want orange juice or apple juice?"

"Apple!" he sang with glee.

"Boy, somebody’s in a good mood this morning. What are you so…” Anna froze in her tracks, looking past the bay window to the stunning sight in the backyard. A pile–no, it was a mountain–of white filled her view. "What the…”

Anna released the deadbolt at the top of the French door and walked onto the patio, the grinning four-year-old in tow. She could hear the pump of the hot tub. She was certain she had turned that off last night. Where on earth did all of these… bubbles… come from?

"Stay right here, Andy. Don’t move." Gingerly, Anna navigated the wet mass in the direction of the hot tub, careful not to slip and fall into the pool. Finally, she reached the area where she knew the hot tub must be, stooping down on all fours to grope for the on-off lever. There! Turning off the churning pump would halt the production of these bubbles, but how did they get here?

Standing slowly, the confused woman turned to make her way back toward the house when her foot struck something… plastic. Grasping the blue object at her feet, Anna suddenly had the whole picture.

"Andy? Did you pour the Bubble Big into the hot tub?"

The still smiling lad nodded excitedly, rubbing his palms together. He was very proud of himself indeed. "Now we can take a bath in the swimming pool!"

Count to 10, she told herself as she marched sternly toward the clever child. 1...2… 3… 4… That was as far as she got before her foot slipped off the edge, where her ankle viciously scraped the side of the pool as she fell headlong into the deep end. Her last thought before she hit the water was that they would all surely laugh about this someday.

"Uh-oh," the child uttered softly. The tall woman didn’t look very happy as she headed toward the steps, the bubbles covering her head and body. She didn’t seem to like his surprise at all. Andy spun around and dashed inside, suddenly terrified of what was going to happen next.

"Andy!" The angry woman stormed into the house. "Andy!" she called again. The child had vanished.

Sure that he had gone upstairs, Anna started in pursuit, not knowing at all what she would do when she finally found the boy. And she would find the boy!

The best news for Andy was that the tall, fully-dressed, dripping wet, bubble-covered bleeding woman passed the hallway mirror on her way up the stairs. In spite of her criminal intent, she laughed at the sight, wishing for all the world that Lily were here to see it.

"Andy? Where are you?" When she reached the top of the stairs, Anna continued into her bathroom, noticing now for the first time that she had left a trail of blood from her ankle through the house. First, she shed her sopping wet clothes and wrapped up in her robe, using a towel to push away the bubbles on her head. Next, she grabbed a washcloth to stop the bleeding, but that worked only as long as she held it in place, and she needed to find Andy.

Entering his room, it was hard not to notice the foot sticking out from under the bed. Chester lay on the floor beside him, his tail thumping wildly at this new game. Anna crossed over and sat on the opposite bed, holding the washcloth to her ankle again.

"Andy, I can see you under the bed. Will you come out?" She could hear the sniffles from his crying.

Inch by inch, the protruding foot disappeared. Now, he was hidden a little better. His young mind didn’t process that Anna still knew where he was.

"Come on, Andy. We need to have a talk. I promise I won’t hurt you, sweetheart. Come on out."

Whatever he said was incomprehensible as he crawled out from under the bed crying, but Anna was sure that she had heard the words "beat my butt."

"Andy, I’m not going to beat your butt. No one is, and you can forget all about that for as long as you live here. Now sit on your bed. We have to talk." We’re going to laugh so hard about this someday.

Andy climbed up on his bed and turned to face the tall wet woman in the bathrobe with the bleeding ankle. She didn’t look happy at all.

"Andy, putting Bubble Big in the swimming pool was wrong. Bubbles are only for bathtubs inside the house, never for outside. Do you understand that?"

The boy nodded solemnly, looking at his shoes.

"When did you do that?"

"At night," he spoke so softly she could barely hear.

"When I was asleep?"

He shook his head. "When you were talking on the phone."

Good lord, that must have been when she left him after his bath to talk to Lily. It’s a wonder the pile wasn’t higher than the house.

"Andy, how did you get outside? The door was locked up high. Did you climb up there and unlock it?" She knew he liked to climb on things.

Again, he shook his head. "Through Chester’s hole."

Anna raised her hand to her face immediately to hide the smile she was powerless to stop. Even that was in his genes. But this was more serious. No child should be out by the pool alone, ever.

"Andy, I’m not angry with you, but I want you know that I’m a little disappointed." She needed to make her point, but not at the expense of breaking his little heart. "Do you know why?"

"Because I put bubbles in the outside tub?" She had said that was wrong.

"That was wrong, and you should have asked first. But the reason I’m disappointed is because Lily and I told you that you were never to go out to the pool by yourself. Do you remember that?"

"But I didn’t get in the water," he argued.

"That doesn’t matter in this case. We didn’t say don’t get in the water. We said don’t go out to the pool. Isn’t that right?"

"I guess so." He had misunderstood.

"And the reason for that is because you’re too little right now to be out there by yourself. What if you had an accident and fell in and there was nobody there to help you? Anybody can have an accident, Andy. I even had one today."

Andy felt awful about that, especially all that blood on her leg.

"We don’t want anything to happen to you because we care about you very much. We’d miss you if you weren’t here."

"Are you going to tell Lily?"

"I think I have to tell her about this, Andy. It’s pretty serious. But don’t worry, Lily won’t be mad either. She’ll just be worried that something could have happened to you."

Andy really wished Lily didn’t have to know. She still liked him.

"Now let’s go get breakfast. We might be a little late for school today because I have to get dressed again."

Was that all? She wasn’t going to make him stand in the corner or stay in his room? This was different, and Andy couldn’t figure it out, but he liked it a lot.

*  *  *

Lily leaned over the rail and caught the public defender’s arm as he prepared to leave for the day. "I just wanted to let you know that I’m headed back to LA today. I have to be in court tomorrow. Will you let Kristy know?"

Causwell grimaced. "You’ll be back on Friday, though, won’t you?"

"I’m not planning on it. I really need to get back to my office. I’ve missed a lot of work, and I think we’ve established that Kristy has family." She intentionally left off "that care about her." Lisa had vanished after the first day, realizing there was nothing in it for her to come down here every day.

The public defender steered her into one of the conference rooms off the main hallway. "Lily, you can’t do that to us. Don’t you see how that will look?"

"Look, I came up here like she asked, and I only promised her one day. I stayed three."

"But the jury’s going to think you’re giving up on her. If all of a sudden you don’t come back, they’re going to think you heard something to make you think she’s guilty."

"Look, I have a life of my own. I haven’t committed a crime, and I shouldn’t have to be in court answering for somebody else."

"Do you have any idea what’s at stake here," the lawyer’s brown eyes were blazing. "Your sister could get the death penalty."

"That’s right. And since you brought that topic up, I’d like to know why you think it’s a good strategy to gamble both of their lives on this when you and I both know that probably only one of them is guilty."

"Because I don’t know that either one of them is guilty," he retorted. "I didn’t ask. I’m doing what I think is the best thing to win both an acquittal. I’m not going to sacrifice one for the other. That’s not my job."

"And if both of them get convicted, counselor… how are you going to feel about knowing that one of them was just a spectator?"

"And how do you know that spectator was Kristy?" he asked defiantly. "For all you know, she could have been the killer."

"Why don’t you ask…?" Lily stopped herself. Suddenly, she didn’t trust this man at all.

"You’re just here for support, Lily. You need to stay out of this case."

"I intend to. Goodbye, and good luck."

CHAPTER 15

"S HHH," ANNA PUT her finger over her lips as Andy made the car noises on the floor. The exhausted attorney had fallen asleep on the couch with her head in Anna’s lap. Lily had gotten in after nine last night, grabbing a cab after all since that was after Andy’s bedtime. The attorney worked on her case files until after midnight, the tall beauty curled naked at her side in their bed.

"She’s sleepy?"

Anna nodded and smiled. "It’s almost time for your bath, Andy," she whispered. "Will you start putting your toys away, please?"

"Okay," he whispered loudly. Volume was a difficult concept for an almost four-year-old, an almost four-year-old who would be four tomorrow. He had no idea that the entire family was coming over after work for a cookout with ice cream and birthday cake. And presents.

Andy had been very excited to see Lily this morning when he woke up. He wondered if she knew about the bubble thing. If she did, she never said.

In fact, Lily had heard all about the bubble incident; and the shower incident; and Monday morning’s debacle. She had also heard about how easily he had accepted Anna as his caretaker; and how Martine had reported no trouble at all with his behavior or his picky eating. And she saw how Chester, the faithless basset hound, had taken to following him everywhere, even sleeping on the little bed each night by the boy’s feet.

As Andy was putting the last of the street segments in the box, Lily’s sleep was jarred by the phone.

"We should have taken it off the hook," Anna groused. It was her partner’s line.

"Hello," the blonde mumbled as she stretched across Anna’s lap. "Oh, Jesus Christ!" She was fully awake now, stumbling into the office where she closed the door.

"Andy, go on upstairs and pick out your pajamas and a book. I’ll be right there." Anna pushed the box to the end of the couch, and cracked the office door.

"Fuck her, John! Fuck them both! Hell, fuck them all!"

This was why she’d closed the door.

"Do I have a choice?" Lily stomped about the small room, wishing all of a sudden that she smoked. "What happens if I don’t come?"

Kristy was calling her back.

"How soon?" Her eyes told Anna that the woman had revoked her custody.

"So even if we try to fight this, he has to go back to San Francisco into another foster home until it’s resolved. Hold on a second." Lily covered up the phone. "That bitch has asked that Andy be placed with Lisa, all because I left the trial. Her goddamn lawyer put her up to this."

"You should go back, then."

I know I should, but…”What? You think I should go back?"

"Lily, it’s only for a couple more weeks at the most. Can’t you get somebody to cover for you at work?"

"Anna, that means you’ll be here with Andy all by yourself again. I can’t ask that."

"You didn’t. We’ll get by, just like we did this week."

Lily couldn’t believe her partner was saying this. Just last Sunday, she’d been ready to throw herself under the airplane’s wheels to keep her from leaving.

Anna couldn’t believe she was saying this either. Just yesterday morning, she had walked out of the house into a mountain of soap suds, wondering how she would survive the day.

"Okay, John. Tell the bastard I’ll be there. And you can tell him that I called him a bastard."

*  *  *

Lily boarded United’s five o’clock flight back to LA. It had been a long day. Once again, she’d caught the 7:05 to San Francisco so that she’d have a pretty good chance of getting to the courthouse by nine. She had told the son of a bitch public defender at the first break that she was leaving at four o’clock to catch a plane, and if he didn’t like it, he could shove it up his ass.

Squeezing into the window seat of the last row, she closed her eyes. A nap on the way home would be really nice. Cleared for takeoff, the 737 barreled down the runway. At that moment, someone in close proximity… er… passed gas. A vision of Tony Bennett burst into Lily’s head: "I left my fart…" she crooned to herself. Anna would probably tell her that was disgusting.

*  *  *

Martine had agreed to bring Andy home once she got a call that everything was ready. Anna and Hal were hanging brightly colored streamers across the patio when Lily pulled up.

"Hi baby," Anna met her lover at the back gate, delivering a short welcoming kiss. "We’re almost ready."

"Did you get his present?"

"It’s in the garage."

Lily placed a quick call to Martine and went to visit her niece and nephew. "Kim, this stuff is great. Thank you for doing all of this." Her sister-in-law had volunteered at the last minute when there was a possibility that the party would be postponed.

"It’s no problem. You guys are easy. Jonah’s been to some of the most elaborate parties for two-year-olds you’ve ever seen. They all have clowns, or pony rides, and face painting. An artist comes and draws their pictures. They rent those big air slides. I don’t know what I’m going to do next month when he turns two."

"I’m sure you’ll find a way to put them all to shame."

"Don’t bet on it. I’m thinking we’ll just buy a house in Riverside and invite all his friends to Chuck E. Cheese."

"Works for me."

The next car in the driveway was Sandy and Suzanne, the latter of whom had brought a change of clothing in case she got wet exacting her revenge on that Hal guy.

Finally, the guest of honor arrived. George opened the gate and led the way. "Come on, Andy. I think Anna and Lily are in the back yard. Don’t forget your car."

Andy stretched across the back seat to get his Z8, and pushed hard to close the door on George’s brand new imported 750Li. He was the last one through the gate, greeted by a jubilant chorus of "Surprise!" This Birthday Boy had never seen so many happy people cheering for him, and he got so excited that he wet his pants.

*  *  *

"Bless his heart, we scared him. Anna, he’s probably never been to a birthday party in his life, let alone had one." Andy was finally asleep, and the women were readying for bed.

"Wasn’t he adorable?" Andy had gotten so excited by the presents that Lily had to take him in the other room to calm him down so his asthma wouldn’t kick up. She and Anna had gotten him a toy jeep that he could really drive. The battery was good for two hours, and would recharge overnight. It was perfect for their driveway and sidewalks, and he loved it.

Lily snaked her arms around the slender waist, touching her lips to the top of Anna’s smooth back. "I closed the door all the way."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. So that means we might have a little… private time tonight."

"Is that an invitation, Ms. Stuart?"

"Perhaps. Would you rather it were a demand, Ms. Kaklis?"

"No need for demands." Anna turned and found her lover’s lips. There hadn’t been many opportunities for this recently, and the dark-haired woman intended to make the most of it. Gently, she raised her hands to Lily’s face and trailed her fingertips along the jaw, slipping them tenderly through the short blonde hair to cup the precious head. Breaking the kiss, she murmured, "I really want you tonight."

"I’m here, Anna."

The dark-haired woman took her time, savoring her lover’s trembling excitement as she tenderly stroked the bare skin. "Look at me, Lily." The blonde had closed her eyes to concentrate on the feel of Anna’s fingernails gently scraping her nipples.

Green eyes were lost in blue as they watched one another react to each sensation. "I love you."

Anna repeated that emotion, but with her eyes, which bore into Lily’s as she slipped her long fingers into the wetness below. "You’re so wet."

"You do that to me."

Anna was torn, wanting badly to taste her lover, but not wanting to leave the intimate connection their eyes had forged. She would have both, but first one, then the other. Slipping inside, her eyes widened with Lily’s; both knew the blonde woman was close.

"Deeper," Lily moaned as she opened herself wide, reaching low to push the searching hand inside.

Anna’s long fingers stretched, curling deep to fill her lover. A thumb gently teased the bundle of nerves in a rhythm that matched the rolling hips.

"Yes… oh yes… that’s it." The green eyes struggled to stay focused as she felt the first ripples of her release. Anna was looking into her soul.

"Tell me."

"Oh… Anna… you’re making me come." Her neck and chest turned crimson as the climax took her.

Anna watched her as she gasped for breath. "God, I love you so much." Finally, the green eyes succumbed, and the dark-haired woman lowered herself to claim her second prize.

*  *  *

The guaranteed two-hour battery on Andy’s new jeep expired fifteen minutes early, about a quarter mile from the Brentwood home. Anna and Lily took turns bending down to push the little car along the sidewalk, the taller woman suffering a scraped knee when the youthful driver steered them unexpectedly into a neighbor’s driveway.

"Uh-oh. I thought this was our house." It was an honest mistake. Both houses had driveways, but they were not otherwise similar.

"Can we go swimming?" the boy asked as the tired pair wheeled the little vehicle into their own driveway.

"Maybe later, Andy. My watch says it’s your naptime," Lily answered.

"Then can we go?" He was certainly persistent.

"Yes," Anna jumped in. "After your nap, we’ll go swimming." Andy got out of his car and waited on the porch while the women returned it to its power source in the garage.

"You’re easy," Lily chided her partner.

"You and I both know we’ll eventually say yes. So why not say it now? That way, he won’t work us over when we say no."

The blonde’s face took on a puzzled look. "Do you do that to me?"

"Ha! When do I ever tell you no?"

That drew a smile. It was probably true, Lily thought. She had asked Anna to take the day off so they could spend it together, agreeing that it made more sense for Lily to return to San Francisco on Sunday afternoon so she wouldn’t be so tired. "I’ll put him to bed. Why don’t you wait for me in our room?"

Fifteen minutes later, Lily found her lover resting on their bed, the scraped knee sporting a new band-aid.

"How’s the war wound?"

"It’s fine. You know, I didn’t get this many scrapes when I was a kid. All of a sudden, I’m accident prone."

"Poor baby." Lily joined Anna on the bed, snuggling into her side.

"So what happens in the trial this week?" They had barely talked about how things had been going in San Francisco.

The attorney filled Anna in on the prosecutor’s case. First, they had taken testimony from the officer who received the call that a body had been found; then from the cleaning lady who had discovered Graves dead on his floor. The coroner testified to the approximate time of death, and to the cause–21 separate stab wounds, any one of six that might have been fatal. In his expert opinion, all but one of the wounds had been inflicted from the same angle and all with the same approximate force, making it likely that only one person had done the deed.

Three detectives from the crime scene unit described the disarray of an apartment that had been plundered. A technician talked about how DNA tests were used to determine that several long red hairs found at the scene belonged to the defendant, Kristy Parker. Fingerprint experts definitively identified Parker as the owner of prints found in the apartment.

Next up was the pawn shop owner, who had called police when he took in an item from the list they had circulated of things the housekeeper had identified as missing. He pointed to the defendants as the people who had brought the piece in.

Detectives described how they tracked the pair from the pawn shop to their one-room apartment in the Tenderloin District, arguably the seediest neighborhood in the city. Several of the items missing from the murdered man’s home were found in their possession. In addition, police recovered a pair of women’s jeans that contained drops of blood.

"The prosecutor’s still up. So I guess next they’ll do the blood analysis and the murder weapon. If they have anything else, I don’t know what it is, but they’re going to have to find a way to poke holes in the story the PD’s been floating."

"Do you think it’s possible that their story is true? That they found those things in the dumpster?"

Lily had hoped to avoid this type of question from her partner–or from anyone–now that Kristy had told her the story about the murder. She knew she shouldn’t talk about it, but Anna was the only person in the world she could truly trust.

"I… Anna, you can’t ever repeat what I’m going to tell you, okay?"

The tall woman pulled herself up against the pillows so that she was almost sitting. "Of course I won’t. What is it?"

Lily spun around to sit cross-legged on the bed. "Kristy told me that she was there. She told me that McGinnis lost it when Graves wouldn’t tell him where the money was."

"What does that mean? Is Kristy innocent?"

"Yes. Well, no. In the eyes of the law, she’s guilty if she took part in the act. But she says she tried to stop him. And if that’s true, it would mitigate her involvement, which means she could escape the death penalty."

"How do you know she’s telling the truth?"

"I don’t," Lily sighed. "I just… hope she is."

"So why doesn’t she just tell her side of the story and let the jury decide?"

"Her lawyer has them going for broke. I tell you, I think he’s taking a big chance, Anna. But if he can tie up all the loose ends with this story about the dumpster, that’s the reasonable doubt the jury needs to find them not guilty."

"What are the chances of that?"

"It’s… I don’t know, fifty-fifty. They can tell the jury the dumpster story from the police reports, because they’ve been telling it all along. But the jury will want to hear it from Kristy or McGinnis, and I doubt their PD will put either one of them on the stand."

"Why not?"

"Well, if they testify, the prosecutor might expose them on cross-examination. The jury would probably be skeptical of anything they said anyway, so a cross could make them look really bad. But if they don’t take the stand, the jury’s going to wonder why, even though they’re not supposed to consider that."

"So there’s a fifty-fifty chance that they’re going to get away with murdering that man. That’s not right."

"No, it isn’t. But our justice system favors the defendant. If a person’s life is at stake, we need to be able to prove they deserve it beyond a reasonable doubt."

"What do you want to happen, sweetheart?"

Lily had had misgivings about the case ever since Kristy had shared her version of events. She had tremendous faith in the justice system and in the wisdom of the jury, but if they didn’t have all the information, the outcome was anybody’s guess. "I just want justice. Whatever that is."

CHAPTER 16

"C OME AND SIT with me, Andy. It’ll be alright." Anna picked up the wheezing boy from his bed and moved to the rocker near the window.

She was almost asleep when she heard the first sounds of coughing from the room down the hall. Lily had suggested that she first try to calm him down this way, before giving him the medicine that would surely keep him up most of the night.

Anna sat down in the chair, letting Andy settle into a position facing forward, nestled into the crook of her arm. Slowly, she began to rock, softly brushing the curly hair back from his forehead.

"That’s it. It’ll be okay soon. Just take it easy."

Andy leaned forward to cough, but relaxed again as he fell back into the warm arms.

"Are you upset about Lily leaving again, sweetheart?"

Andy didn’t answer, but both of his attacks since he’d lived there had coincided with her trips to San Francisco.

"You don’t have to worry about that, you know. She’ll be coming back soon; and besides, you and I have fun by ourselves, don’t we?"

The small head nodded. He liked Anna, but he sensed that she didn’t like him as much as Lily did. Besides, he caused her to be hurt twice, and she might still be mad at him about what he did with the Bubble Big. What if he accidentally did something else? Then she’d really be mad.

It bothered Anna that Andy didn’t seem to feel secure with her. She’d followed Lily’s instructions about everything, and she tried not to ever let him feel bad about things. But still, it was Lily that he seemed to need, not her.

It was almost one o’clock before the child finally fell asleep. Anna gently carried him back to his bed, planting a soft kiss on his forehead before leaving him for the night.

*  *  *

Monday’s evidence was damaging to the defense, particularly to Kristy. The forensics expert testified at length about the bloodstains that were found at the bottom of the woman’s jeans. He focused on the degree of absorption of the blood into the cloth, apparently to refute the possibility that it was picked up from bloody items found in the dumpster. Congealed blood, he testified, would not absorb as fully.

Lily watched the jurors’ faces as they heard this damning testimony. It almost certainly put Kristy at the scene of the murder. On cross, the public defender asked whether absorption rates might vary if perhaps the pants had gotten wet since picking up the stain, or even if they were wet at the time. The expert conceded that the presence of water might alter the results. Again, Causwell had planted reasonable doubt.

Late in the afternoon, the prosecutor called witnesses to begin telling the story of how they had recovered the murder weapon. The public defender had deftly maneuvered to keep from evidence the identity of the man who had caused the disturbance, as he was not charged with any crime. Tomorrow, the jury would probably hear that the defendant’s fingerprints had been found on the instrument.

*  *  *

Anna grumbled miserably as she grabbed her car keys from her desk. Poor Martine had broken a crown and needed to make an emergency trip to the dentist. She would not be able to pick up Andy from his pre-school today. Anna would have gladly swapped places with her mother.

The car dealer was scheduled to meet all afternoon with their vice-president for human resources, Janet Mendelssohn, who had headed that department at the BMW dealership in Palm Springs. She was making a special trip from the desert for a conference with Anna and Hal on the company’s benefits package. It was too late to postpone, as she was due here in less than an hour.

"I’ll be back in a few minutes, Carmen."

Andy was surprised when he saw Anna at the door of his pre-school. She didn’t look very happy, but he was kind of used to that. He hoped he hadn’t done anything wrong.

"We have to leave a little early today, Andy. Martine had something else to do, so I’m going to take you back to work with me, okay?" He had visited the dealership once, and really enjoyed seeing all the shiny cars.

Since she’d picked him up early, Andy hadn’t yet had lunch, so Anna wheeled into the busy drive-thru lane of a Burger King on Wilshire Boulevard. "You want a cheeseburger?"

Andy smiled and answered eagerly. "And French fries."

"Okay, and a coke?"

"A milkshake." Lily had bought him his first one ever just a week ago.

Serious junk food, Lily would say. What the hell. The kid was in for a long boring afternoon. "Chocolate?"

Andy nodded and the driver placed the order. When she got the bag, she put it on the floorboard of the passenger side, taking the milkshake from the attendant. "Should I put this in the cup holder, or can you hold it?"

"I can hold it." The boy’s mouth began to water when he eyed the shake.

"Okay, but use both hands and be very careful." Against her better judgment, she allowed the child to hold the sticky drink between his legs. It was only a few blocks to the dealership.

As they pulled out onto the busy street, Andy began to have second thoughts about holding the icy drink. If he should spill it, Anna might get really mad at him for messing up her car. It was probably better to just set it in the cup holder. Carefully, he leaned forward, but the seatbelt locked with his goal just out of reach. He sat back against the seat, then tried again. Almost…

The light turned green and Anna started forward, not noticing the movement on her right.

"Uh-oh!"

Anna glanced sideways, but was too late to stop the disaster. The drink had tipped from his hands, and of course the plastic top dislodged, sending frozen chocolate goo between the seat and the console. It covered the leather-encased gearshift and for good measure splattered the instrument panel for the sound system.

"Uh-oh is right." 1… 2… 3… 4…”Andy, I asked you to be careful," she groaned, exasperated at the mess.

The boy suddenly burst into tears. This was the worst thing he could have done.

"Now don’t cry! I’m not upset with you, Andy. It was an accident." I am upset with you, but I can’t show it because you get even more upset than I do.

Anna pulled onto the lot, driving around to the back where Javier and Rudy detailed the cars they took in on trade.

"Hi guys."

The young men were surprised. The boss hardly ever came back to their corner of the lot.

"I have a little emergency here. I need you to stop whatever you’re working on and clean this for me before it stains. We had a little accident." Anna walked around and helped the boy out of his seatbelt, handing him the small bag with his lunch.

Anna stopped at the vending machine and got a coke. "Have a coke for now. We’ll get another milkshake later, okay?"

Andy had stopped crying, but he was sure the tall woman was really mad at him now, no matter what she said. He couldn’t seem to help making mistakes around her. She made him really nervous.

The car executive found Hal and Janet already in the conference room. "Sorry I’m late."

"Well hi, Andy. I didn’t know you were going to be in this meeting too," Hal teased.

The little boy let a small smile creep out. He liked Hal.

"Yeah, Martine had to run to the dentist this afternoon, so Andy’s going to hang out here." Anna helped him into a chair at the far end of the conference table and spread out his lunch. "Shall we get started?"

An hour into their meeting, Anna noticed a very bored little boy opposite her. He had finished with his lunch, and had absolutely nothing to do but listen to their discussion on health coverage and hiring policies.

"Will you excuse me for a minute?" Anna tossed the trash in the can by the door and held out her hand to the child. "Come on. Let’s see if we can find something for you to do."

Anna and Andy walked down the stairs, where she flipped on the lights in the media room. "You want to watch some movies about cars?" She knew it was a pretty pitiful alternative to a Disney cartoon or the show about the dog that he watched on public television, but it had to be better than spreadsheets and numbers. Certain that he couldn’t hurt anything by handling the remote, she showed him how to push the buttons so that the pictures would change. "I won’t be long, then we’ll stop and get another milkshake on the way home, okay?"

"Okay." Andy hit the start button as she walked out of the room. Stopping for a moment by Carmen’s desk, she asked the receptionist if she’d mind keeping a watchful eye on the room. Carmen was more than happy to oblige.

"As its sleek, progressive design suggests, the new 745Li is a marvel of engineering. Inside, the cockpit invites you to sample the exhilaration of an advanced 4.4 litre 325 horsepower…”

The meeting dragged on, with Anna slipping downstairs twice to find Andy paying close attention to the demonstration films. She couldn’t help but be reminded of her own fascination with cars when she was a child and accompanied her mother and father to this very dealership.

*  *  *

"I think the DA’s going to wrap up his case tomorrow," Lily explained. "He’s entering the murder weapon into evidence, and I saw the fingerprint expert back in court today, so they must have found McGinnis’ prints on it."

"Won’t that be pretty damaging?"

"Yeah, unless they can make the jury think that they found it and decided they shouldn’t keep it because of the blood."

"And then what happens?"

"Well, when the DA’s finished, the defense will present its case. That should probably take the rest of the week. Then some of the witnesses will be recalled to clarify things. It’ll probably be the end of next week before closing arguments."

"And then it’s up to the jury."

"Right." As she’d listened to the evidence today and watched the jury take it in, Lily had found herself depressed about the events. Kristy was in deep trouble; at least tomorrow they’d show evidence against McGinnis. Maybe then the jury would balance the blame.

"You’d never believe who’s downstairs watching BMW sales videos."

"Who?"

"I’ll give you a hint. He spilled a chocolate milkshake in my car on the way over here."

Lily was glad at that moment that Anna couldn’t see her face, because she almost laughed out loud. The Z8 was Anna’s most beloved possession, and she could only imagine the look of horror on the woman’s face. "Soooo… is it ruined?"

"Nah, they’re cleaning it out for me, and shampooing the rug. It’ll be fine. But I think it took a year or two off one little four-year-old’s life."

"I bet. So what’s he doing with you today?"

Anna explained about her mother’s emergency. Not wanting to worry her lover unnecessarily, she decided not to say anything about the asthma attack last night. "You know, I should probably go get him and head home. He’s used to eating by this time."

"Tell him hi from me. I’ll try to call again around eight o’clock."

*  *  *

Andy was already bathed and ready for bed when Lily called, barely able to hold up his head, but not wanting to miss the chance to talk to her. He had missed his nap this afternoon, and with last night’s asthma attack, he was tired and a little cranky.

Anna too was more tired than usual, having gotten up very early to get ready for her afternoon meeting. Being out of the office on Saturday had put her a little behind.

"You want a story tonight or do you just want to go to sleep?" Please say you just want to go to sleep.

Andy answered by plucking the story of the dragon from the shelf.

"Okay, come get in bed." Anna scooted in beside him and propped up on the pillow. The boy sidled up next to her so he could see the pictures.

The story began in a small village, where a little boy…

The tall woman awoke to a very stiff neck, her head having fallen straight back against the headboard. The bedside light was still on, and the dragon book had dropped to the floor. Chester was sound asleep at the foot of the bed. A small boy was still cuddled into her side, now with his arm wrapped snugly around her stomach. She was unmistakably… wet.

Anna looked down at the sleeping child. Only in slumber did he seem to trust her; only then did he reach out to hold her. If one were to watch them together, they’d probably agree that she’d treated him well and that she’d taken good care of him. But they wouldn’t have seen the part of her that rationalized that Lily was his caretaker; she was just helping out. In truth, she was the one who had kept her distance, not Andy. Looking at the way he clung to her in his sleep, she knew she’d been missing out on something very special.

With a gentle shake, she called to him. "Andy. Sweetheart, wake up."

Groggily, the boy raised his head.

"We need to get cleaned up, okay?"

His eyes grew wider as he realized what he’d done. Sure enough, when the tall woman stood, she had a dark spot on her shirt and pants.

"Come on, honey."

She was going to be mad at him again.

Anna stopped at the drawer and grabbed a fresh pair of pajamas. Flipping on the light in the bathroom, she wet a washcloth and spread the soap. Andy peeled off his wet things and waited for her. Twisting her neck to ease the kink, she washed him and handed him the cloth to finish.

"Let me go fix your bed, and you can go back to sleep."

Anna quickly swapped the bottom sheet for a dry one and smoothed the covers. "All set."

Now in fresh pajamas, Andy crawled back into bed, still looking at the wet spot on Anna’s clothes.

"Think you can go back to sleep? I can sit here with you if you want."

Andy tucked Koufax under his arm. "I’m sorry, Anna." His quiet little voice nearly broke her heart.

She smiled down at him. "It’s okay. I’ll just go wash and change my clothes too." She reached out and smoothed his soft hair. "Andy, I like it when you hug me. It makes me feel good. If it’s okay with you, I want us to hug each other a lot more."

"Okay." Andy would like that too, but he always thought the tall woman didn’t like him very much.

"In fact, I think I’d like to have a hug right now before I leave. Would that be alright?"

The boy nodded and stretched out his arms. Anna leaned down and wrapped her own around him tightly. "I love you, Andy. I’m really glad you’re here."

*  *  *

The prosecutor had entered the knife into evidence and called his fingerprint witness to the stand. The expert described how the handle of the weapon appeared to have been smudged, as though someone had attempted to wipe it clean. Nonetheless, a few stray prints remained.

"And were you able to match those prints to one of our defendants?" the prosecutor asked.

"Yes, we got a five-point match on three of the prints."

"And to whom did those prints belong?"

"To the defendant, Kristy Parker."

Kristy Parker? Not Kenneth McGinnis? Fucking hell. Lily looked to the jury for their reaction. That was a clean sweep. All of the evidence implicated her sister, not the man who had actually done the killing.

Unless Kristy had lied to her! And Lily didn’t want to believe that.

When the public defender took over the questioning, he asked the expert to demonstrate how the knife would have been held to leave behind the prints in those locations. The man clutched the knife as though he were pointing it.

"So the prints were not left in this position?" The public defender raised the knife above his head as though he were ready to plunge it downward.

"No, but as I…”

"No further questions."

The prosecutor stood to clarify. "Was it your testimony that the weapon appeared to have been wiped clean before it was handled again?"

"Yes."

The public defender wanted the last word.

"Is there a way to determine when these prints were left on the handle, whether it was at the time of the murder, or perhaps later, when a cleanly wiped weapon was found in a dumpster?"

"No."

"No further questions."

Nice recovery, Lily thought.

The DA was clearly frustrated. Each piece of evidence he presented was refuted by the dumpster scenario. The most solid link between these defendants and the crime was the bloodstains on Kristy Parker’s pants and shoes.

He had two more expert witnesses to call, both engaged immediately after the "wet clothes" theory was offered. A forensic scientist who had worked late into the night would testify that the absorption levels of the bloodstains indicated that they were not diluted. The second witness, a blood splatter expert, was prepared to testify that the substance was thrown onto the items, not acquired by rubbing against something.

Both witnesses were very effective, and when the second finished his testimony, Lily could see that the jury was now convinced that her sister was present during the murder.

The public defender stood to cross-examine. "In the course of your tests, did you have the opportunity to examine any items belonging to the defendant, Kenneth McGinnis?"

"No."

"And why did you not test Mr. McGinnis’ clothing?"

"I was told that there were no bloodstains found on his clothing."

"So the only samples you examined were those belonging to Miss Parker?"

"Yes."

"No further questions."

What the fuck just happened?

"Your next witness?" Judge Wostyk addressed the prosecutor.

‘Your honor, the People request a recess until tomorrow morning at nine a.m." It was only 2:15.

"Approach." The attorneys whispered with the judge, who finally nodded her agreement. "The court will recess until nine a.m. tomorrow." Jury instructions followed, and the defendants were escorted by deputies back to the jail.

Lily leaned over the rail to catch Causwell’s attention. "What was that last bit? Are you just going to concede the clothes? That puts Kristy there."

"But if they can’t put McGinnis there, they won’t believe she did this by herself."

"But it doesn’t matter if they decide McGinnis wasn’t there. If they think Kristy was there, they’re going to find her guilty."

"Lily, we’ve got to stick to this strategy. It’s too late to change the story or to add anything. The jury would see right through it."

"So you’re going to let Kristy go to save McGinnis? You said you wouldn’t sacrifice one for the other." Lily was incredulous.

"They’ve not put on any evidence against McGinnis, other than being in possession of stolen property. Dumpster diving isn’t a crime." He put the folders inside his briefcase and started to leave.

"Wait a minute! My sister’s going to be convicted and McGinnis is going to walk."

"You don’t know that. I’ve got a witness that will testify that Graves has opened at least his limo to indigents, so Kristy’s story about him inviting her in is a reasonable explanation for how her hair got inside the apartment."

"Are you going to put either one of them on the stand?"

"I don’t think so."

"What are you going to do about the blood?"

"I don’t know," he admitted honestly. "Downplay it as confusing. Stick by the wet story. This jury isn’t going to turn on that. It’s circumstantial."

"And if you’re wrong?"

"Then I managed to save one of my clients. And that’s a pretty good result for a capital crime."

Son of a bitch!

*  *  *

"Anna, Causwell’s giving her up." Lily had walked through the city for more than an hour, through Union Square, through Chinatown, to Nob Hill. It wasn’t fair. Both were guilty, but her sister was a bystander and McGinnis had brutally killed a man.

Unless Kristy is lying! Lily couldn’t shake the fear that her sister had played her. But she needed a fighting chance.

"They’ve got her at the scene, and his new strategy is to prove that McGinnis wasn’t there. Anna, she could die for this. I need to get her a new lawyer. She needs to tell her side of the story. She can’t just give up."

"Sweetheart, can’t you talk to her? Make her see what she’s up against?"

"She just goes along with what the lawyer and McGinnis tell her. I watched those jurors put it together. Even if they can’t convict him, they’ll convict her."

"Then get her another lawyer. Call Rick."

"Who’s Rick? Oh, you mean Rick Patterson."

Rick Patterson was the husband of Anna’s college roommate, Liz, who lived in San Mateo.

"Yeah, I tell you what. Let me call him and call you back."

"Okay, but you can’t tell him what I told you at home. He can’t hear that unless Kristy agrees to hire him."

Anna made the call and finally got through. Briefly, she explained that someone she knew in San Francisco needed a criminal attorney on short notice. Lily had said that they probably wouldn’t need his services for more than a few days. Rick was a partner at one of the larger downtown firms, and was more than willing to push work onto the desks of associates to take a case for his wife’s longtime friend.

"Are you coming to the city?"

Anna thought about it for a moment. The next few days were going to be critical for Lily and her sister, but she and Andy had finally crossed an important bridge and it wouldn’t be right to leave him suddenly. "I really can’t, Rick. My partner Lily is there, and she can meet with you. Will you see her?"

"Sure, but Liz will be disappointed. You really need to get up here again soon."

Liz! "You know, on second thought, if you wouldn’t mind a houseguest or two… or three, maybe I’ll come on up this afternoon. Lily and I have her nephew living with us right now. He’s four."

"The more the merrier, then. Come on up!"

Anna took his office address so she could give it to Lily. "I’ll tell her to call you."

The car dealer buzzed the receptionist. "Carmen, I need you to move things around for me for the rest of the week." Anna looked at her own calendar. "I’ll be back on Friday in time to do the Chamber luncheon." It was the day she would give her speech asking to be elected vice-president. "Oh, and I need two tickets to San Francisco, first class, about five o’clock today. Return early Friday morning."

Next, she rang her mother, arranging to pick Andy up in a few minutes. Holly agreed to come by and get Chester; Anna would leave a house key under the mat.

Finally, she phoned her lover. "I’m coming up with Andy. I want you to give Rick a call. Talk to him, and plan to stay at his house tonight."

"Are you sure about bringing Andy? Maybe he should just stay with Martine." Lily was worried that a trip would disrupt his routine.

"No, he should be with us. I didn’t want you to worry, but he had an asthma attack Sunday night after you left. He’s okay, but I think it would be awfully hard on him if we both left."

So Anna didn’t want to leave him any more than she did. A warm feeling settled over Lily as she realized that the three of them would be together again tonight.

"I’ll call Rick, but I need to go talk to Kristy. I need to get her to change her mind about this and come forward."

"Okay, hon. I’ll call you when we land. See you soon."

CHAPTER 17

L ILY WAITED AT a distance from the entrance to the jail. Causwell was in conference with the clients already and she needed to talk to Kristy alone. When she spotted him leaving, she headed in and was shown right away to the attorney’s conference room.

"I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but I’m a little busy right now. If you need something about Andres, it’s going to have to wait." Kristy was clearly agitated, and Lily suspected it had to do with the events of the last two days.

"Kristy, your lawyer’s hanging you out to dry. It’s time to come forward and tell the DA what really happened."

"No! We’re going to beat this. He says our story’s still good." Her voice wavered as though she weren’t convinced of her own words.

"Your story’s still good for McGinnis," Lily spat. "The jury knows you were there, Kristy. If they can’t convict him, that doesn’t mean they’re just going to let you go. He’s going to walk, and you’re going to die."

"But if I tell them what happened, we’ll both die."

"No, you won’t. Listen to me." Lily pulled her chair closer to the table. "It isn’t too late to cut a deal with the DA. They know they’re going to lose McGinnis, and they want him really bad. You’re the only one who can put him there. Believe me, they’ll bargain to get him."

"But then he’ll be executed."

"Maybe, maybe not. But McGinnis doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you! He’s willing to let you take the rap for this so he can walk free. All he’s told you all along is to keep your mouth shut. And why is that? Because he knows if you talk, you can hurt him."

The prisoner was flustered. She’d seen the faces of the jurors too, and she knew her sister was right.

Lily almost had her.

"It’s not just McGinnis, Kristy. Your lawyer is sacrificing you to save him. He told me so himself. He said if he managed to save only one of you, then he’d be satisfied with that. Kristy, you need a new lawyer!" Lily implored.

"I don’t know. They’re both going to be so mad."

"Who gives a fuck whether they’re mad or not? Look at the way they’re treating you! Stand up for yourself."

Still, the prisoner was noncommittal.

"Unless you made it all up," Lily suddenly accused.

"No. It’s the truth." Kristy raised her head and jutted out her chin. "I didn’t kill that man. Kenny did, and he’s the one that ought to pay for it."

Lily had won.

"I’m going to come back in an hour with a new lawyer. You need to tell him everything, Kristy."

The brunette nodded defiantly.

"And don’t say anything to anyone else. Do you understand? You can’t let McGinnis or Causwell know that you’ve changed your mind." Or they’ll change it back.

*  *  *

"No, you can’t take all of those."

Andy had put as many of his toys as possible into the box that they kept beside the couch. Anna had taken some of his clothes to pack and told him to pick out a couple of toys to take. He was leaving again.

When she took the box away, he started to cry. He wouldn’t be able to play with the toys anymore, or drive the little jeep. And he wouldn’t be able to swim or to play with Chester. And he couldn’t go to school anymore. But what bothered him most was that he wouldn’t have Lily and Anna to hug him or read to him or play with him anymore. He really liked it here and he didn’t want to leave.

"Andy, listen to me." The limo was in the driveway. If they didn’t leave soon, they would miss their plane. "You can’t take them because we don’t have room. They will be here when you come back."

"When will that be?"

"What?"

"When will I get to come back?"

Realization suddenly dawned on Anna what the boy’s problem was. He thought he was being moved again. He thought he was losing all his toys, just like he had lost the ones at the Shull house.

"Sweetheart, look at me." Anna used two fingers to tip the boy’s face toward hers. "You’re coming with me, and we’re both coming back in three days, maybe even with Lily. I promise."

He still looked doubtful.

"Andy, do you remember what I told you last night before you went to sleep? I told you that I loved you, and that I was glad you were here with us. We’re going to visit somebody today, but trust me, Andy. We’ll be back."

The child wiped his tears, but he was still afraid. He would try to be very good.

"Now come on. We’re going for an airplane ride."

*  *  *

Andy forgot his fears and had a ball on the airplane, marveling at the G-force when they took off, and peering out the window at the hills and clouds below.

When their plane landed in San Francisco, Anna had a message on her cell phone that Lily and Rick had gone to the jail to talk with Kristy. Liz would be waiting for them at baggage claim.

The old friends greeted each other warmly, and Andy met five-year-old Chloe and two-year-old Ricky. By the time they reached the San Mateo home, the three were already friends too.

The children were fed, bathed, and put to bed soon after the newcomers arrived. Anna and Liz settled down in the kitchen to wait for word from the jail.

"He’s a doll, Anna. Will you and Lily have him long?" Liz hadn’t yet been told what the visit was about, but was thrilled to be seeing her friend again for whatever reason.

Anna filled her in on the story of Kristy and the trial, and of how they had come to care for Andy.

"Liz, I tell you, that little boy has stolen my heart."

"Like his aunt did, huh?" Liz was remembering a couple of years ago when Anna had first talked to her about this remarkable woman she had met in the earthquake.

"Yeah, something like that."

The women heard the garage door go up, a signal that Rick and Lily were home.

Lily greeted Liz again–they had met on one of Anna and Lily’s visits to Eleanor’s house–and Anna led her partner down the hall to look in on the sleeping boys. Andy was sleeping soundly in the top bunk, the rails raised on the sides so he wouldn’t fall.

"Did you tell Liz about his little problem?"

"Yeah, Ricky has the same problem, so it was no big deal."

Lily stood on the rail of Ricky’s bed so she could get a good look at Andy while he slept.

"Was he excited about coming?"

"He freaked out. I think he was afraid he was getting moved again, but I think he’s okay now."

"God, I didn’t even think about that. Anna, he must have been scared to death."

"Yeah, but he calmed down. He liked being on the plane."

"I bet."

"So what’s up with Kristy?"

"Let’s go back in here and Rick can tell you."

Rick Patterson had been shocked when he discovered that his new client was the defendant in one of the most notorious murders in the Bay Area. He and Lily had talked to Kristy Parker for two and a half hours, taking down the details of her story. When they finally left the jail, he had called the prosecutor at home, requesting a seven a.m. meeting to discuss a plea bargain. They knew each other fairly well, having worked opposite sides of many cases.

"So Kristy’s decided to tell her side," Lily finished. "But everything’s going to hinge on whether or not the DA believes her story. If he doesn’t, he isn’t going to touch this. He won’t want to cut her a deal unless he’s confident that her testimony will convict McGinnis."

*  *  *

In a gesture of authority, District Attorney Warren Hasner slid the fourth chair to the end of the table. He would ask the questions, and for this moment at least, would act as judge of Kristy Parker.

When the deputy exited, Hasner began the negotiations. "Miss Parker, do you have information on the Peyton Graves murder that you’d like to share with me?"

"Yes," she replied simply. Rick and Lily had explained that she needed to be forthcoming about what she knew before they could begin bargaining.

"So why don’t you tell me what happened." The prosecutor opened up his notebook and took out his pen.

"We went to rob him, that’s all. But Kenny got mad."

"Whoa! I need you to back up. I want you to tell me everything that happened, starting with the very first time you ever laid eyes on Peyton Graves or his apartment."

Kristy’s story began on the afternoon of the murder, when she passed Graves on the street in front of his loft and asked him for a handout. As she had stated in her police report, he invited her into his home and gave her food, a warm raincoat, and some money. She thanked him and left.

When she met up with McGinnis, she told him the story and he asked about what was inside the apartment. She described some of the trinkets, and said that she thought he had money in his office, because that’s where he had gone to get her a few bills.

They watched the building that night until he left and slipped unnoticed into the gated garage when someone drove out. Unable to advance the elevator without a security code, they waited in the shadows until Graves returned, jumping onto the elevator as he pressed the code for his floor.

McGinnis pulled a pocketknife and threatened the man, unless he got some new clothes and money like his girlfriend had gotten earlier that day. Graves told him there was no need for the knife; that he would give him whatever he needed, including all the cash he had.

Once inside the apartment, McGinnis told him he only wanted the cash, and Graves emptied his wallet. McGinnis wanted more, and shoved him into the office, telling Kristy to bring him a bigger knife from the kitchen.

Kristy did, thinking all along that McGinnis was trying to scare the man, pretty sure herself that he had more cash in the office. When Graves said there was no more cash, McGinnis stabbed him in the shoulder and said he would do it again if Graves didn’t get the money. Graves fell to the floor…

"How did he fall? Face up or face down?" The crime scene unit had marked a bloodstain on the carpet apart from where the body was found. This might explain that.

"Face down. But Kenny rolled him over and sat on him and yelled at him to say where the money was. He kept saying there wasn’t any more money, and Kenny just started stabbing him, over and over. Then he was dead."

This was good, Hasner knew. But before he could deal, he needed to know Parker’s role.

"And what were you doing during all this?"

"I was yelling at him to stop. I tried to push him off, but…”

"Where were you standing when you tried to push him off?" They had found smears of splattered blood near Graves’ head consistent with someone standing in close proximity.

"I was at the door. And I came straight in and pushed Kenny."

"Draw me a picture."

She sketched it out. She would have been standing where the smears were found.

"How did you get out of the building?"

"The same way. You didn’t need a code to go down, and we waited again until a car came in."

"What did you take from the apartment?"

Kristy listed the items she could remember: another coat, two silver candleholders, some figurines from a display case. The Herend pieces had prompted the call from the pawn shop. Police had recovered almost everything; only one of the candleholders was still unaccounted for.

"And the knife?"

Kristy sighed. "That was stupid. I grabbed it when we were leaving because I thought Kenny’s fingerprints would be on it. I told him when we got outside and he hit me. He said he’d already cleaned it and I should have just left it there. So we stuck it in between two of the paper racks. Kenny said that was going to get us caught."

Hasner found Parker’s tale credible, but knew that he’d need more than just her testimony. The jury had seen the evidence that placed her in the apartment, so they’d be hard-pressed to ignore her interest in shifting the blame.

"Your story is very interesting, Miss Parker. Why should I believe it?"

"Because it’s the truth," she declared emphatically. "And because I can prove it."

Even Lily and Rick were startled. Had she been holding out on them?

"Is that so?" Hasner certainly hoped so.

Kristy looked at her sister and lawyer, worried about giving up what she knew was an important bargaining chip.

"Warren, before my client gives you any specific information, I think we’d like to know how that would be in her best interest." Let’s hear the offer, Warren.

"Your client participated in a grisly murder, Rick. I’m willing to drop the death penalty in favor of life imprisonment, maximum security."

"Not good enough, Warren. Not even close. I’m thinking murder two, 25 years max."

"What kind of proof, Miss Parker?" he demanded.

"Kenny got rid of the clothes he was wearing because they had blood all over them. I know where they are."

The clothes! Of course! It was all Lily could do to keep her cool, not wanting the DA to know that she was just hearing this herself for the first time.

Hasner considered the offer for the testimony. The bloody clothes would indeed prove that McGinnis was there, and that he had done the stabbing. If he declined, Parker could get the death penalty, but that wasn’t likely without direct evidence; she could be handed a life sentence; or she could be acquitted altogether. Irrespective of what happened to her, McGinnis would likely go free.

"Alright, we have a deal. I want a recorded statement and a…”

"Wait." Kristy suddenly reminded everyone of who was really in charge here. "I want one more thing."

Rick, Lily and Warren exchanged puzzled looks.

"My offer is very generous, Miss Parker," Hasner chastised. "You should take it and be satisfied."

"No. If I’m going to testify against Kenny, you have to promise that he won’t get the death penalty. No matter what."

"I can’t promise that," Hasner answered, all business.

"Then you can forget it. You’re asking me to help you kill him, and I won’t do that."

Though she was here in an official capacity as an attorney, Lily had been nothing more than an observer to these negotiations. She was glad she hadn’t missed this moment. What her sister was asking was altogether a fair request. More importantly, it cleared Lily’s conscience for her hand in this: She didn’t want to be party to an execution.

Hasner was had, and he knew it. "I want the shirt, and I’ll need to do tests on it."

"So we have a deal?" Rick confirmed.

"Yes. I’ll get my office to write it up. See you in the courthouse at nine."

*  *  *

Rick and Hasner left to prepare the paperwork they’d need to present to the judge for an extended recess. Lily stayed behind to talk again with her sister.

"Kristy, I’m proud of you for doing this. I know it was hard, but you did the right thing."

"I don’t know, Lily," she said dejectedly. "Twenty-five years is a long fucking time."

"But it beats the death penalty. And there’s always a chance for parole."

"I guess. Glad I don’t have to share a cell with Kenny. He’s going to shit the bed!" She stifled a chuckle. When she’d thought about what Lily had said, she’d realized that Kenny was only concerned about himself. It had always been that way. She’d given up Andres because Kenny didn’t want him around, and had beaten him for wetting the bed.

"So I’ll see you in court later, okay?"

"You’re going to hang around? I thought you’d be in a hurry to get back to LA. To Andres."

"Actually, he’s here. He and Anna flew up last night. Rick’s a friend of hers, and she’s the one that arranged for him to see you."

At once Kristy was suspicious. "She did this?" Why would Anna Kaklis want a hand in this?

"No, she didn’t do anything." Oh, fuck! "I called her after what happened in court and told her you needed a new lawyer. She knew Rick and his wife, so last night they came up here while Rick and I were here talking to you. Anna has nothing to do with any of this."

"I want to see Andres." Kristy still held this card.

Shit.

"And I want to meet this Anna Kaklis."

Fucking shit.

CHAPTER 18

"I DON’T THINK he needs to go to a place like that." Anna was adamant. Lily had called her partner immediately after she left the jail with the news that Kristy wanted to meet her face to face.

"I don’t either, but she’s still got those goddamned papers on John Moss’ desk. All she has to do is call him and say give Andy to Lisa Parker. I know you don’t want to do this, sweetheart. I hate to ask…”

"I don’t care about that, Lily. I’ll go see her if she wants. I just don’t want Andy to have to go there to see her. Can’t Rick arrange to have her meet him at the courthouse or something?"

What? "You don’t care?"

"No. If she needs to talk to me to satisfy some curiosity, I’ll go. I’ll see her this afternoon if she wants. But if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather Andy never set foot inside a jail."

This is about what you want for Andy? "Um… okay. I’ll talk to Rick and see what he can arrange. Are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely. Tell her I’ll be there today."

*  *  *

"Fucking bitch," Kenneth McGinnis muttered under his breath. He and his public defender had gotten the devastating news when they reached the courtroom.

Causwell knew something was up, since the defendants were not delivered from the jail together. Someone had already summoned Parker, the bailiff said. When Lily walked in with Rick Patterson, he knew his client was toast.

Out of the eyes of the jury, Rick introduced himself to the court as Kristy Parker’s new attorney and requested a continuance of the recess so that he might complete negotiations with the District Attorney. Wostyk granted the recess, postponing the trial until nine a.m. on Thursday morning. That would give the DA time to locate the shirt and complete the necessary tests to link it to the crime.

*  *  *

In her wildest dreams, Anna hadn’t expected to be sitting in the visitors’ room of a jail, moments from coming face to face with a murderer. A murderer with her partner’s face, she acknowledged as Parker was led through the door.

Kristy took a seat at the picnic style table across from the beautiful dark-haired woman. On the far side of the room, an older couple–parents, Anna thought–met quietly with a crying young woman in an orange jumpsuit. Other than that, she and Kristy were alone.

"I’m Anna Kaklis," the tall woman started, almost mesmerized by the familiar green eyes across the table.

"I know who you are. In fact, I know quite a bit about you. You sell cars. And you have a big house in Brentwood. And you make lots of money."

Anna tried to remember what information she had put on the social services forms.

"And you and my sister have rings just alike. Isn’t that sweet?"

"Well there must be something you don’t know, or you wouldn’t have invited me down here for a chat."

"Not a chat, really. I just wanted to see what you looked like. Although I was curious…”

"About what? Perhaps I can enlighten you."

"About why you cared enough about me to ask your friend to be my lawyer."

"Because I care about Lily, and she said you needed a lawyer."

"So you did it for Lily, not for me."

"I’d say that’s right. But if justice gets served in the meantime, that’s a good thing too."

"So is that how you feel about Andres too?"

"I beg your pardon?" What does Andy have to do with this?

"Do you put up with him because you care about Lily and that’s what she wants?" That’s how it had been when she first started hanging out with Kenny. He liked her and he put up with Andres. But when Andres got to be too much trouble, he had to go.

"No, it isn’t like that."

"Tell me what it’s like, then."

Anna was almost afraid to say how she really felt, knowing this woman’s penchant for using Lily’s concern about Andy to manipulate her. But Lily and Rick had reached her last night, persuading her finally to do the right thing in this murder case. Maybe she had one more "right thing" in her.

"I’ll tell you how I feel about Andy. I adore him. I think he’s sweet, he’s smart, he likes to have fun, and he loves my dog. He makes me laugh, he makes me sad when his feelings get hurt or when he doesn’t feel well. He makes me feel good all over when he hugs me. Kristy, I want him to live with us from now on. Even if Lily should leave me, I’d want him to stay. That’s how I feel about him."

As Anna’s words poured out, so had Kristy’s tears. She had once had the chance herself to love the beautiful little boy just the way Anna had described. She could never have given him things like they could, but she would have taken care of him. Instead, she had let him down when she chose Kenneth McGinnis.

Unable to deal with this onslaught of emotions, the prisoner suddenly stood. "I need to get back to my cell."

"No, wait." Anna wanted to say one more thing. "Lily says when you go to prison the state will put Andy up for adoption, but it will take a long time. And he might be moved again. If you sign the papers tomorrow, we can start the process now of making it permanent. Will you do that for Andy? For all of us?"

Kristy’s tears were unchecked as she nodded. "Can I see him one more time?"

"Of course," Anna assured. "It’s already arranged."

*  *  *

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to American Airlines Flight 119, service between San Francisco and Los Angeles International Airport. At this time, we’d like to invite our first class cabin to board…”

"That’s us, pal," Lily said, crawling under a row of seats in the crowded departure lounge to retrieve the matchbox X5 Anna had given the boy on his first visit to the Premier BMW dealership.

Their business in San Francisco was finished. Early Wednesday afternoon, police recovered a bloody t-shirt and bandana from the flat rooftop of a two-story building four blocks from the Graves loft. Both had been wrapped around a stolen silver candlestick so that they could be easily thrown. Hair samples from the bandana identified its owner as Kenneth McGinnis, sealing the prosecution’s case. Unwilling to gamble his fate further, McGinnis agreed to plead guilty on Thursday afternoon to first degree murder in exchange for a life sentence. He was headed to San Quentin.

In accordance with her agreement, Kristy Parker also pleaded guilty to second degree murder and would be sentenced to 25 years at the Valley State Women’s Prison in Chowchilla. She would be eligible for parole in 15 years.

The excited boy stomped energetically down the jet bridge to board the plane, Lily guiding him into the window seat in Row 4. Anna followed, taking the aisle seat directly across from her partner.

The blonde had been bowled over on Wednesday afternoon when Anna asked her how quickly they could get papers together for Kristy to resign her parental rights.

"Well, there are a lot of forms involved but they usually keep them in a packet. It’s just a matter of filling in the information and getting her to sign."

"So could it be ready by tomorrow afternoon?"

Lily chuckled; Anna was in her CEO mode. "I think the papers are the easy part. Who’s going to strong-arm my sister in signing them?"

"She’s ready, sweetheart. I told her we wanted him and that we didn’t want to wait and take a chance that he could be moved again."

"You told her we wanted him?"

"Yeah. We do, don’t we?"

Oh my god! "Anna, are you sure?"

"I’ve only been this sure about one other person in my whole life."

The tall woman’s back would probably recover eventually. It wasn’t every day she caught 115 pounds of running jumping screaming blonde.

A businessman gestured toward the window seat in Anna’s row. As she stood to let him in, she looked down on the gleeful four-year-old peering out the window telling Lily all about the different colored suitcases being loaded into the hatch below him.

"I can’t believe they let kids fly in first class," the man grumbled. "A hundred dollars for an upgrade and we have to put up with jabbering rugrats."

That’s my rugrat, and his ticket cost $1,100. I’d say he has a right to sit wherever he wants. Biting her tongue, Anna managed to keep that thought to herself.

Andy settled down, but the businessman persisted. "Listen to him. I bet he doesn’t shut up all the way to LA."

Will you?

He loved it when he had a chance to make conversation with a beautiful woman like this knockout sitting next to him. "So what kind of work do you do?"

"I sell cars," Anna answered dryly, extracting the headphones from the seatback pocket in front of her. There was no music as yet–they were still on the ground–but that wasn’t the point. Headphones in place, she buried her face in the latest Car & Driver in an attempt to discourage conversation.

"So does your boss make you read that kind of stuff to keep up with the industry?" The obnoxious man reached into her magazine and pointed at the article she was reading.

"Something like that," she answered, turning back to her magazine.

Lily stretched to retrieve the X5, this time from underneath Anna’s foot.

"Can’t you at least keep his toys over there where he doesn’t bother other people?" the man barked rudely.

Lily looked at Anna, the blue eyes saying "I’ll handle this." If Andy hadn’t wanted the window so much, Anna would have traded seats with him right then.

"I tell you. People have no control over their kids at all these days. They just let them do whatever they want," he went on.

"I bet he’s not bothering you half as much as you’re bothering me," Anna snapped. "At least he knows to stop talking to people when they cover their ears!"

With the headphones still in place, Anna hadn’t realized that she was practically shouting at the man. That is, until the woman behind Lily began to applaud, joined soon by the two men sitting behind Anna and the jerk.

The rest of the ride was peaceful, except for the occasional delighted squeal from the small boy as he discovered new things he liked about flying.

EPILOGUE

G REG CAHILL WHEELED his 740iL onto the lot at Premier Motors, excited about picking out his next new car. Ever since Anna had called him with the news that his lease was about to expire, he’d had car fever.

The new president of the Greater Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce was a faithful BMW owner. In a moment of stupidity a few years ago, he had bought a Jaguar, but his friend had taken it in trade and wholesaled it "the hell off this lot" as soon as he handed her the keys.

The car dealer–who was herself the Chamber’s new vice-president–had suggested a loaded 745Li, and there was a red one in her showroom right now. As he pushed through the double glass doors, its gleaming elegance caught his eye right away.

"Hi, I’m Greg Cahill. I’d like to see Anna Kaklis, please." He introduced himself to the weekend receptionist.

"I’ll page her for you."

The silver X5 squeezed its way through the crowded lot, snaking around the new cars toward the employee parking area in the back. This visit to the dealership on Saturday was a treat for both Lily and Andy; Lily because she got to see her lover, Andy because… well, because he got to see everything.

Saturdays like this were great, but Thursdays were Andy’s favorite day of the week. Anna picked him up from pre-school before lunch, bought him a cheeseburger, French fries and a chocolate milkshake–which always sat in the cup holder–and brought him back to the dealership to spend the afternoon. Sometimes he would sit in her office playing with the model cars while she worked, but most of the time he would watch the videos in the media room. Once, she even let him sit on a stool in the service garage while she worked under the hood on an old car. That had been really cool, especially when she asked him to get down for minute so he could hand her one of the tools.

Sticky handprints smeared the glass door in the back as the pair entered through the downstairs offices.

"Anna Kaklis, please come to the showroom."

"Did you hear that, Andy? They must have seen us come in. Let’s go wait in the showroom, okay?"

The little boy skipped ahead, wondering if the big red car was still there. Sometimes, there were different cars. Anna said that was because people liked them so much that they bought them and took them home. There it was, a brand new 745Li, and a man was looking at it, probably to take it home. Andy knew all about the car from the video he had watched over and over.

"Hello," the man said to the little boy who had come to stand on his tiptoes so he could look at the engine.

"Hi," said Andy. Anna had told him that he should be extra nice to the people at the dealership. "This car has a B-8 engine."

"A V-8 engine?"

Andy nodded excitedly. "Yeah, with tirty-two balbes." He wasn’t quite sure what all that meant, but he knew it was good.

"Thirty-two valves! No kidding!"

"Yeah, you can see it if you look here." He stretched again and pointed under the hood.

"Why it certainly does," the man agreed, having no idea where to look for those valves.

The blonde woman’s mouth dropped as she watched the pseudo-sales presentation unfold. How does he know all this?

"And the seats have little bitty holes ‘cause they have heaters!"

"Heaters? In the seats?"

"Uh-huh, heaters. And it has a on-board caputer, too!" Andy wasn’t sure what that meant either, but it too sounded really nice.

The dark-haired woman approached silently from behind her lover, who was now thoroughly astounded at what she was seeing. "Hi Greg. I see you’ve met my son."

"Your son?"

"That’s right. At least he will be in a couple more weeks. Isn’t that right, Andy?"

Andy suddenly grew bashful and sidled up next to the car dealer.

"And this is my partner, Lily Stuart." She held out her arm to the blonde woman, who was still amazed at the scene she had just witnessed. "This is my friend Greg Cahill, who happens to need a new car today."

"It’s nice to meet you, Greg." Lily found herself immensely pleased to be part of this scene, getting her first glimpse of what she knew would be a long and loving mentoring of this child in the family’s business. "I should warn you, these guys have a reputation for tag-teaming on a hard sell."

"Well if everything this young salesman says is true, then I want this car right here." He looked back at the boy, who was smiling up at both of his soon-to-be moms.

"Greg, if Andy said it, I’m sure it’s true, because he knows all about cars." It excited her that this boy she had come to love so much shared her passion. In her mind’s eye, Anna could picture that one day a handsome young man with curly brown hair and green eyes would climb the stairs to the executive offices on the second floor.

THE END

ANNA’S CHRISTMAS

© 2003

DISCLAIMERS

Don’t get hunkered down for this one. It’s just a vignette, a chance to peek in on Anna, Lily & Andy and see how their holiday is going. This one will take you about five minutes; but if you haven’t read Shaken, Stirred & Strained, you probably won’t understand what’s going on here.

I’d like to also take this opportunity to let you know that Shaken (a consolidated version of the trilogy) will be published by Cavalier Press in the spring of 2004.

Thanks to my friends who gave this a read, and to my Sweetcakes. Please feel free to share your thoughts at

   kgmacgregor@aol.com.

ANNA’S CHRISTMAS

   A NDY KAKLIS BURST through the side door of his family’s Brentwood home and made a beeline for the living room, where a majestic ten-foot Christmas tree twinkled in the otherwise darkened house.

"He didn’t come!"

"I tried to tell you, pal. Santa doesn’t come until after everyone falls asleep tonight." Anna stopped in the doorway to watch her five-year-old’s reaction to the realization that you just couldn’t fool St. Nick by stepping out on Christmas Eve.

But the news didn’t deter him at all, and he raced immediately into the dining room and kitchen just to be sure. By this time, Chester was hot on his heels, barking with enthusiasm at the rare running game inside the house.

"I don’t think our plan worked," Lily sighed as she slipped an arm around her partner. They had stayed at George and Martine’s well after their holiday dinner, hoping that a long evening of playing with his three-year-old cousin Jonah would wear Andy out. Instead, it had had the opposite effect on both boys, who grew more rambunctious as the evening progressed. It was now nearly two hours past Andy’s usual bedtime, and he seemed to be gathering steam for a fresh round of mayhem.

"At least it worked for Alice," Anna observed. Kim and Hal’s youngest had left the party already asleep on her daddy’s shoulder. "I’d say it worked for you too."

"Yeah, I’m beat."

"Why don’t we go upstairs so you can lie down? I’ll come back down here and help Santa after I get Andy to bed," the tall woman whispered.

"No Santa in there either," Andy announced as he returned to the living room, dropping to his knees to count the presents under the tree. "One…two…. This big one’s mine!"

Lily had gotten him a set of adventure books and the DVDs for a couple of movies that he liked. Anna got him a few posters of cars for his room. Those gifts were wrapped and under the tree already. But Santa’s stuff was well hidden.

"Andy, you need to settle down now. It’s time to get ready for bed." Lily could hear him starting to wheeze, the first indication that an asthma attack was on the way. It was a shame that they always had to keep his excitement in check for fear of him getting sick. Lily knew the feeling all too well, having grown up with asthma too. Hopefully, Andy would outgrow it soon; or at least, its effects would lessen as he got older, as they had for her. "I can handle him, I think. He had a bath before we went, so he just needs his pajamas and a story."

"You sure?" Anna was dubious. Lily looked absolutely exhausted.

"No, but I’ll at least give it a shot."

"Call me if you need any help." The brunette planted a small kiss on her lover’s forehead and turned to their son. "Okay, pal. You heard your mama. Bedtime."

"I have to do the milk and cookies!"

"Okay, let’s do it then." Anna led him into the kitchen while Lily waited patiently at the bottom of the stairs. Once the milk and cookies were in place–along with carrots for the reindeer–she scuttled him up to bed. "Now off you go." Anna watched as Andy bounded up the stairs, his weary mother trudging behind.

"Come on, Chester. You too!" the blonde woman called.

The basset hound paused as if contemplating his options. Realizing that he didn’t really have any, he scurried up the steps to claim his space at the foot of Andy’s bed.

Anna waited quietly at the bottom of the stairs until she heard the boy’s bedroom door close. That was her cue.

This was Andy’s second Christmas with them, and both mothers were determined not to repeat the chaos of last year when they’d been kept up until dawn by those three dreaded words: Some assembly required.

This time around, she’d taken an afternoon off with her dad to put things together while Andy was in school. All she had to do tonight was bring the presents in from the pool shed, where they’d been hidden for almost a month.

Quietly, she slid the bolt at the top of the French doors and walked out onto the patio. It was a chilly night in LA, even for December, and she shivered as she followed the pool deck to the shed behind the garage. Hoses, nets, extension rods–all the things their service used to keep the pool and hot tub sparkling–were kept inside the shed. The child-proof lock protected Andy and any other children who visited from getting access to the dangerous chemicals…and quite conveniently, from discovering Santa’s hiding place. Most of the tools and supplies had been moved to one side to create space for the Christmas stash.

The gleaming blue bicycle sat close to the door, and she hefted it onto her hip to carry it into the house. The BMX had been at the top of Andy’s wish list since he started kindergarten in August and heard all about it from his new best friend Jeremy. Lily had suggested a bike with more features–a basket, a bell, streamers for the handlebars–but Anna was adamant that the Mach 1 Jr. was a better mechanical design, and that the extras would be distracting for a five-year-old learning to ride for the first time. That was her way of avoiding the implication that such additions were…well, sissy…and after all, the creed for the car business was "Image is everything."

Once she got the bike situated so that it would grab the boy’s eye the instant he entered the room, she went out for a second load. The art set–an easel, with paper, paints, markers, and brushes–was next. Anna laughed to herself as she hauled the kit into the house, thinking that Lily had chosen this gift as much for herself as for Andy. More than once, the car dealer had come home from work to find the floor in the kitchen covered with newspaper, and her family covered with finger paint or water colors. Andy enjoyed drawing cars, and had in fact shown a gift for it. One wall of Anna’s office was papered with his renditions of BMW models.

A third trip to the shed yielded a few pool toys, a soccer ball, and a new backpack, made especially for hiking. Andy was used to carrying a book bag, but that was just for his school supplies. This pack came with two water bottles, sunglasses, a compass, binoculars, and a disposable camera. The sight of the hiking equipment sent her thoughts again to Lily. How long had it been since she ventured onto her beloved trails?

One more trip should do it, she thought. They’d been very careful not to overdo it like they had last year. The last load was more small cars for Andy’s already massive collection, and a few new buildings and signs to go with the construction set he used to build roads for his cars to travel.

When things were finally in place, Anna treated herself to the small glass of milk and the peanut butter cookie they had picked up at the coffee shop. Andy thought it was pretty amazing that Santa liked the same cookies as his mom. She was sure to leave a few crumbs on the plate, and just a drop in the bottom of the glass. She left the leafy ends of the carrots and returned the other portion to the refrigerator, careful to mingle them with the others in the bag.

Proud of her work, she stood back to eye the display. They’d videotaped the scene last year when Andy came downstairs, but agreed that it took away from their enjoyment to be worrying about the angles and the lighting. This year, they’d take a few stills after the presents were opened. It would be a special year–a very special year–for all three of them.

"Anna?" Lily’s voice called from the top of the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"Could you come up and sit with Andy? He’s having trouble breathing and I think he needs to rock for a little while."

"Sure. Let me close up down here." Hurriedly, she locked the back door and turned off the lights in the kitchen and the living room, looking over her shoulder one last time as she headed up the steps. Yep, Andy’s going to love it!

Lily met her on the landing. "Did you finish?" she whispered.

"Yeah." Anna planted a kiss on her temple. "It’s perfect."

"I wish I could go see it, but I don’t want to have to do these steps again."

"You should go get ready for bed." Lily shouldn’t feel guilty about the things she isn’t able to do. "Is there anything you need?"

"Maybe some juice…I meant to get some before I came up."

"I’ll get it. Go on to bed, sweetheart." Anna poked her head in Andy’s room to find him sitting in the rocking chair. "Hey, pal. I need to get your mama some juice. Then I’ll be in to sit with you. You okay?"

The little boy nodded and coughed. "Mama doesn’t feel good."

"She’s just really tired. It’ll be okay. I’ll be right back."

Anna hurried back downstairs to the kitchen for a glass of cranberry juice. On her way back up, she peeked one more time into the living room and smiled.

"Here you go." She set the glass on the bedside table.

"Thank you." Lily came out of the bathroom in a pink flannel nightgown. She’d been getting cold in the night. Dr. Ostrov had said that was probably from reduced circulation. "Come here."

Anna walked into her lover’s waiting arms, savoring the feel of the warm hug.

"In case I’ve forgotten to tell you lately, I really appreciate how you’ve been taking care of everything. I don’t think Andy’s even missed a beat, thanks to you."

"He’s worried about you tonight."

"Tell him I’m fine. He needs to be dreaming of sugar plum fairies and such."

"I think he’s probably going to lie awake and wonder what Santa’s sleigh has under the hood."

"You’re probably right."

Anna helped her into bed and pulled the covers up. "I’ll join you in a little while, but you don’t have to wait up. Go on to sleep if you want."

"Mmmm…I’m not sure I have a choice, Amazon."

The dark-haired woman leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams then."

Almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, Lily closed her eyes and grew still. She would likely be sound asleep in less than a minute.

Anna went into the bathroom and changed into her pajamas as well, not wanting to make any noise when she came back. Then she returned to the room across the hall to find her son still sitting, and still coughing. Without a word, she reached down and took the five-year-old into her arms, settling him onto her hip and guiding his head to her shoulder. He was small for his age; but still, she wouldn’t be able to do this much longer. Before too long, Andy would probably decide that only babies were carried around like this, and he wouldn’t want to do that. She needed to enjoy this feeling while she could.

"See the lights, Andy?" She had walked to the window that faced the front of the house, where they could see the Christmas lights that lined the sidewalk. "Santa won’t have any trouble at all finding this house."

"And he’ll come down the chimley?"

"That’s right. All we have to do now is go to sleep."

The little boy coughed again, his breath coming in shallow puffs that gurgled and wheezed. "I can’t. I’m coughing too much." Suddenly he had a frightening thought. "What if I can’t go to sleep? He won’t come!"

"Shhh. It’ll be okay, pal. Santa will find a way to sneak in and bring the toys. You don’t have to worry about that." Gently, she shifted him around as she sat down in the rocker. It was easier for him to breathe if he leaned back against her chest. "Are you comfortable?"

As if in answer, he leaned forward and coughed again, then settled back.

Pushing gently with one foot, she began to rock. The rhythm was soothing and helped Andy get his mind off his struggle to breathe. Soon, his bronchial tubes would relax and his lungs would open up.

"Mom? Do you think Santa will come here before he goes to Jonah’s house?"

"I don’t know, Andy. But I’m sure he’ll come to both houses, so I guess it doesn’t really matter which one he goes to first."

"But Jonah said he might run out of toys."

Anna rolled her eyes and shook her head. That nephew of mine can be such a troublemaker. "Shhh. Santa always has enough toys. If he runs out, he just sends his elves back to the North Pole to get more. You need to quit worrying, okay? I want you to think about being still and getting sleepy."

Anna hated that the little boy had trouble with his asthma, especially since it always seemed to interfere with times that should be happy and carefree. But she had to admit that she relished this opportunity to hold him in her lap, to feel his small body snuggling into hers for comfort. She liked that he depended on her for this, and it made her heart soar at such a stark reminder of how much she loved him, and how lucky she and Lily were to have him in their family.

Andy had been her son officially now for almost a year, the adoption finalized in mid-January. He had taken her name, and soon after, Lily had followed suit. It was just amazing when she thought about it all…they were the Kaklis family.

It had been a big year for Andy, starting off with a trip to Germany to see where "the best cars on the road" were manufactured. They’d all gotten a tour of the factory, and he and Lily had visited the snow-covered countryside while Anna attended seminars all day.

In May, the three of them had gone camping for a week at Silverwood Lake. That was a trip Anna Kaklis could never have imagined for herself five years ago, but neither could she have imagined a life with another woman–the sweetest woman on earth, if anyone was keeping score–and an adopted son that she loved as much as she could love any of her own.

And in August, Andy had started school. Lily had done the proverbial first-day-of-school-drop-off-and-cry thing, but Anna had been there to pick him up at the end of the day. Andy loved the new challenges, his grades were good, and his teachers were pleased with his general attitude. The mothers were more than a little relieved that his rough start in life hadn’t resulted in any emotional or behavioral problems.

With Andy in school, it was harder to find the time during the week for him to come to the dealership, but the car dealer had taken him with her a few times on Saturdays for awhile. But with things now running more smoothly at all of the Premier dealerships, Anna had decided that it was time to grant herself the permanent luxury of weekends off. It was wonderful having two whole days together to slip out of town, to work on a project at home, or just to laze around by the pool with her family.

Such an incredible year.

It was almost a half hour before the coughing and wheezing stopped. Andy had finally drifted off; now if she could just get him into bed without–

"Did Santa come yet?"

"I don’t think so, pal. But he will."

That seemed to satisfy him, and he closed his eyes again, giving in to the Sandman for good as Anna laid him on his bed. Chester raised his head sleepily and shifted a little to the side, snorting out a breath as he stretched out.

Tucking the covers around Andy’s chin, the mother couldn’t resist a final touch, and she brushed her hand through the curly hair on his forehead. "I love you, pal."

Anna pulled the door almost closed, leaving only a sliver of light across his bed. Very quietly, she entered her own bedroom, chuckling that a small person like Lily could produce such a deep, throaty snore…which she vehemently denied. Anna slipped into bed, settling on her side to watch the sleeping profile. Despite her care not to wake her lover, Lily shifted, reaching out a hand to join hers under the covers.

"Did you get him to sleep?"

"Yeah, and he stopped wheezing. Sorry I woke you."

"That’s okay. I wasn’t asleep."

You were snoring like a freight train, sweetie. Anna had figured out back in July that it was not a good idea to point out the times her partner actually fell asleep. Lily was cranky enough without the reminders that she had little control over her body these days.

"How do you feel?"

"I’m okay. My back hurts a little."

"Why don’t you roll over and I’ll rub it for you."

"Easier said than done." Struggling with discomfort, she shifted bit by bit until she was on her side. "Can you get the pillow for my knees?"

Anna did so and scooted up close, pressing the heel of her hand into her lover’s lower back. "It won’t be long now, sweetheart."

"I’d say that all depends on how you define long."

Oops! Anna had inadvertently said the wrong thing. Again. "I meant till Santa comes."

Lily chuckled. "Sure you did." She was well aware that her disposition of late was forcing her partner to always walk on eggshells. "How long would it be if you had to pee every nine minutes?"

"You just have to last another week, sweetheart. We’ve got clearance sales on all four lots until New Year’s."

"I wouldn’t mind having a little year-end clearance of my own," she mumbled in reply.

Anna smiled softly and snuggled close, brushing her lips against her partner’s ear. "Merry Christmas, Lily."

"Merry Christmas to you too, Amazon." With that final whisper, she drifted off to restful sleep.

Anna’s Christmas came three days later, when–nine days before her due date–Lily went into labor.

JANUARY 30th

"Hi there, pretty girl. What are you looking at?" Anna leaned against the headboard of the bed, her knees bent to support the precious bundle. Tiny Eleanor Stuart Kaklis stared wide-eyed at her mom’s blue eyes and giant smile. "Is that a smile?"

The baby responded by flailing her feet, landing a few light kicks on Anna’s belly.

"Lily, she’s kicking me," Anna whined playfully. "Now I know how you must have felt."

"Nice try, Amazon. Not even close." Lily sat in the rocking chair next to their bed. "You ready to trade?"

"Did you hear that, pretty girl? It’s dinner time." Anna stood up and tucked the baby into her right side. With her left arm, she reached out to receive Eleanor’s brother and a towel for her shoulder. She and Lily had gotten very good at this exchange, she thought as she deposited her daughter onto her partner’s lap.

Lily had undergone an amazing transformation last year when her nephew had joined their family. Long certain that she had no biological urge for motherhood, she was surprised to discover that, in fact, she did. And Anna, who had gone back and forth on the idea for herself, had come to realize that the experience of giving birth wasn’t something she craved after all.

Dr. Beth Ostrov’s proposal for them had been perfect, and last April, they’d planted four fertilized eggs–two of Lily’s and two of Anna’s, all with the same anonymous donor father–in Lily’s uterus. The possibility had always been there for quadruplets, but Beth had explained that the typical ratio for in vitro fertilization was three or four to one. The discovery of twins had been both delightful and overwhelming.

Eleanor was undoubtedly Anna’s biological daughter. Her father had presented them with proof positive in the form of Anna’s baby pictures, in which she looked just like the tiny baby now at Lily’s breast.

Little George Christian Kaklis–named for his grandfather and grandmother Christia Kaklis–took after his biological mom, Lily. Even if his nose and chin hadn’t given away his parentage, they’d have deduced it from his voracious appetite.

"What did you and Andy do this afternoon?" Anna asked. Martine dropped the kindergartner off from school every Monday and Wednesday and stayed an hour or two with the twins while Lily gave the older boy her undivided attention. Tuesday and Thursday were Anna’s days, his chance to spend a couple of hours at the dealership. Friday belonged to George; he always took the afternoon off and picked up Andy and Jonah for the usual grandfatherly mischief.

"We took a walk with Chester. Then we read a little while and watched some TV. Nothing fancy, but we had a good time together."

"He seems to be handling things better, now that we’ve gotten the routine down." Andy’s initial reaction to his new brother and sister had been excitement, but in no time at all, he noticed that he wasn’t getting as much attention from his mama. He responded by acting out, throwing a few uncharacteristic temper tantrums, and even once working himself up into an asthma attack. Given his background, both of his mothers were sensitive to the potential for him to feel insecure, and they’d devised the weekly schedule to assure him that he wasn’t being pushed aside.

George burped loudly in response to the gentle pats on his back.

"That’s my boy!" Anna leaned him back a little to wipe his chin. "Got any more of that, fella?"

"You know, you’ll have to stop praising that behavior when he turns two."

"Hopefully, we’ll be busy praising other things by then," the tall woman joked.

Moments later, he burped again and she settled him against her chest to go to sleep. He would be down for the count in about three minutes.

Eleanor gave the signal that she’d had all she wanted, and Lily hoisted her to her shoulder and stood. This one preferred jostling to pats on the back, but just like her brother, she burped and dozed off.

"What’s your guess, Pygmy?" Anna folded back the covers on the bed as her partner laid the little girl in the crib next to her brother’s.

"I’ll say…4:10." It was already after eleven, and their nights of blessed sleep had been getting progressively longer, but only by a smidgen.

"Okay, I’m going to go with 4:09."

"Think we’ve been pressing our luck, eh?"

"Maybe a little." Compared to Kim and Hal, whose two-year-old still didn’t sleep through the night, they were incredibly lucky.

"I better not catch you poking one of them at four o’clock."

"Hey, that’s Mom’s trick, not mine." They were almost sure that Martine coaxed the babies awake from their naps just to have an excuse to pick them up.

"Can I help it if I suddenly have to cough?" she’d answered innocently.

"God, what would we do without Martine?"

What would they do without all of their family? Anna thought. How blessed she was to have a supportive mother and father, and a wonderful sister and brother-in-law. But her greatest blessings were under this roof tonight. These precious babies, that adorable little boy down the hall, and her cherished Lily.

Oh, and Chester. Thoughts of the basset hound reminded her of Lily’s mom, who would be so proud of their family. And then there was her own mother, whom she barely remembered. Before drifting off, Anna wrapped a long arm around her partner and pulled her close, saying a silent prayer that they would see all three of these children through their happiest moments in life.