This book is dedicated to Chris, the first person who told me I should write. Although, I don’t think this is what she had in mind.

My eternal gratitude goes to the following people, who were kind enough to be my first readers and to tell me the truth about my writing. They are brave souls.

Barbara

Amy

Jenny

Bunny

Leah

Thank you also to my wonderful proof readers. Your help was invaluable and very much appreciated.

Jackie

Nanc

Sue

Jen

Millie

I would like to send out a very special thank you to Vicki (aka Decky…aka R.E. Bradshaw) for her extraordinary willingness to share her knowledge and advice. Her generosity hasn’t gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

This book wouldn’t have been possible without

my brother Charlie in my life. He has been a

blessing and a joy.

Emily’s Art and Soul

Joy Argento

Ride the Rainbow Books

www.RideTheRainbowBooks.com

This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced without the written permission of the author.

Copyright © 2011 Joy Argento

Chapter 1

“I gonna cook some breakfast. Want me make you some?”

“You know how to cook?” Emily asked her sister.

“Sure! I not a dummy, you know. Toast is my sp-sp-specialty.” She blinked hard as if forcing the last words as her thick tongue got in the way. Having Down syndrome sometimes made it difficult to get the words out.

This was the second of many mornings that Emily and Mindy would share together.  Emily wasn’t sure how this was going to work out. Suddenly sharing her new home with her mentally challenged younger sister had never been on her life’s “to do list”. Of course, neither were getting a divorce or moving to a new town. Seems like there were a lot of things happening lately that were not on her “list”.    

“No thanks, honey. I’ll just have some coffee. But you go ahead and make yourself something to eat.” Emily’s stomach was doing flip-flops from nerves.

“Mom always told us ‘breakfast is the most im-port-ant meal of the day’, ya know.” The word sounded more like ‘bweakfast’ when Mindy said it.

“I know, Mindy,” Emily said. “I’ll eat something in a little while.” She sat down at the kitchen table with the newspaper and her coffee. She kept one eye on Mindy as she made herself toast and scrambled eggs, surprised at how well she managed. Emily didn’t know how much credit went to their mother or how much of it Mindy learned at the special school she attended in Rochester until she was twenty-one. The school taught the students life skills, like cooking, taking the bus, and laundry, as well as the basics of math, reading and writing. She made a lot of friends there too, but she had to leave them behind to make the move to Syracuse, New York with Emily. A lot of things change when your mom dies.

“So what are you planning on doing when you get home today?” Emily asked when Mindy sat down at the table with her food.

“I gonna send out b..birthday cards.”

“Oh yeah? Who are you sending them to?”

“My friends Jill and Tommy’s birthdays are Thursday. They have the same birthday as Michael Jackson.”

Emily wasn’t sure what to say. She ran a slender hand through her light brown hair as she thought for a moment. She looked at her sister, toying with the idea of not saying anything. Mindy just lost their mother. Should she tell her that Michael Jackson was also dead? Better she hears if from me than from someone else, Emily thought. She reached for Mindy’s hand across the table and said gently, “You know Michael Jackson died. Don’t you?”

“Of course,” Mindy said, rolling her eyes. “I’m not sending him a card!” She laughed. After several seconds Emily laughed too.

*****

Emily looked at herself in the mirror. She looked much better than she felt. This was the first time in eight years that she was starting a new job, and her stomach felt like it was inside out. 

“I hate this,” she said out loud to herself. She picked up the brush and gave her long hair a few quick strokes. She smiled wide, leaning in towards the mirror to inspect her recently brushed teeth. She poured a little mouthwash into a Dixie cup and swished it around in her mouth. Don’t want my new coworkers hating me because of bad breath, now do I? If they are going to hate me, they are going to have to come up with a different reason, Emily thought.

Looking straight at herself in the mirror again she said, “What are you talking about? Of course they're going to like you. They are going to love you. They love people who talk to themselves.” She brushed her fingers through her hair, trying to puff up her bangs. “It’s the people that answer themselves that you have to watch out for. Right?” More finger strokes.  “Right!” she said under her breath. She let out a long sigh. It’s going to be all right. It’s all going to be all right.

Who wouldn’t love you? she thought. Brian didn’t love you. Her mind went to her husband…ex-husband. The divorce would be final in a few days. She doubted Brian had ever loved her. At this point, she was pretty sure she had never loved him either. She married him because he was the first…and only…man that she ever had any feelings for. At the time, she had mistaken them for love. Now she realized the feelings had been more of comfort and security.

Love. She had never felt true love for any of the men she dated. None of them had ever stirred any real feelings in her at all. Not one of them made her heart beat faster or gave her butterflies in the stomach. Not Brian and not Mark. 

Mark was the first man she ever slept with. She was twenty-four and still a virgin. That was practically unheard of and she didn’t share that fact with too many people. It wasn’t that she was a prude or that there were religious beliefs holding her back. She just never had any real desire to have sex with any of the men she went out with. When she slept with Mark, it was more out of curiosity about sex than desire. They had been dating for almost four months and he was gently putting pressure on her for a more intimate relationship. He was a very sweet man with a great job and looks that would make any girl swoon…well, almost any girl.

One night after a pleasant evening of dinner and dancing, Emily invited Mark in for a nightcap. When his goodnight kisses turned more demanding, Emily didn’t stop him. She took him to the small bedroom in her first apartment. He was very gentle and caring with her, and spoke loving words in her ear. Emily broke up with him the next day. 

It was four years later that Brian asked her to marry him. They waited until their wedding night to have sex. They had never discussed putting sex off until then. But neither one of them had ever pushed to move beyond some minor petting. That had been fine with Emily and apparently, it had been fine with Brian too. Now Emily wondered why. 

Emily shook the memories away. She needed to finish getting ready or she was going to be late for her first day at her new job. She buttoned up her white blouse and smoothed out her dress pants with her hands. Dressing up was not something she enjoyed doing, but she thought she should look presentable today. She could dress down on the weekend. Don’t think about the weekend. Let’s just get through today. This was the start of her new life and she wanted to do it right. 

“Are you almost done in there?’ Mindy knocked on the door. “I have to get ready too, ya know.” Emily made a mental note to pick up a shower curtain for the main bathroom after work today. Most of the house was furnished and decorated, but a few small things still needed to be done. Mindy had been using Emily’s bathroom to shower and while Emily didn’t mind, she thought Mindy would appreciate having her own shower to use.

Emily opened the door. Mindy looked her up and down. “You look bea-u-tiful,” she said patting her on the back.

Emily gave her little sister a hug. “You’re a doll. I needed that” 

“You know you are my f-f-favorite sister.” Mindy pushed a chunk of blond hair away from her blue eyes, and smiled at Emily.

Emily brushed her fingers through the chunk of hair that Mindy had just moved, and gently pushed Mindy’s glasses farther up on her nose. “I am your only sister, silly.”

“Well, even if I had a million billion sisters, you would be my bestest one! Now go to work so you don’t be late.”

“Bossy, bossy,” Emily said. “Tell me again, what time are you getting picked up?”

“Nine-thirty.”

“And what’s the name of the person picking you up?”

“Cindy. I think I’ll call her Cindy Snicker-doodle. I am just kiddin’ you,” she said with a crooked toothed grin. “Cindy Sams. But I like Cindy Snicker-doodle better.” She laughed at her own joke.

“Okay, okay, I have got to get going. Do you need anything before I leave?”

“Nothing, nothing, nothing…now go to work.” Mindy pushed Emily away from the bathroom. Emily gathered several items and put them into a small backpack. She could hear the shower turn on.  Above the hum of the water she could make out the sound of Mindy singing. Emily smiled to herself. They had both been through a tremendous amount of change in the last two months, but they were going to get through it and come out the other side stronger. Emily was sure of it.

Cindy "Snicker-doodle” was picking Mindy up in an hour to give her a ride to Mirique Works, a program set up by the county to provide the “mentally challenged” with jobs skills, a social outlet, and eventually a job. Mindy had belonged to such a program in Rochester, but had to leave it behind when she moved here with Emily. 

Mindy didn’t seem to mind moving or living with Emily, although Emily knew that she sometimes tried to do things for Mindy that she could do for herself, like make herself a snack or make her own bed. When Mindy had lived with Mom and Dad, they let her do a lot of things for herself. They knew she could handle it. But Mom died two months ago and Dad decided that drinking and sleeping all day was the best way to handle his loss. When Emily decided it was better for Mindy to come and live with her, their father had no objections.

When Mindy agreed to the move, she thought she would be moving in with Emily in the big house that she once shared with Brian. But Emily sold that house, quit her job and got a new house and job in a different city, eighty miles away. She promised Mindy they would go back and visit often. They would still see Dad, and Mindy could visit her friends. Mindy would make new friends in the new city. She never had any trouble making friends. Her quick smile and bubbly personality easily won people over. 

Emily knew Mindy loved her, but she also knew that Mindy missed their mother a lot, just as she did.

Mindy was what their mother had called a “change of life baby,” born when their mom was forty-five. Emily was twelve by the time Mindy surprised everyone with her birth. Emily loved her baby sister but had been busy with junior high school, friends and track practice when Mindy was a baby. Mindy was only six years old when Emily left for college. 

Emily grabbed her backpack and keys and ducked out the side door, into the garage. Sliding into the driver’s seat of her Volkswagen, she realized that her stomach had settled a little, but she was still nervous. You would think that by the age of thirty-five you wouldn’t feel like it was your first day of high school all over again. She slowly backed out of the driveway and headed towards her new job at Freemont High School, twenty-five minutes away. 

*****

An hour later, Emily left the school office, arms full of paperwork and several small boxes of art supplies. She carefully balanced the piles as she walked down the long hall and turned the corner toward her art room. She paused, and looked around to make sure she was going the right way. After deciding she had in fact been heading in the right direction, she turned in that direction once again. As she did the pile began to slide in her arms. She tried to readjust her load, but it slipped out of her grasp and scattered to the floor. She was crouched down gathering her things when she heard a voice above her.

“Sure. Your first day on the job here and you think you can just dump your stuff where ever you want to?”

Emily turned her head and looked up towards the voice. “I’m sor…I dropped...oh geez,” she said as the stranger knelt down beside her and began picking up papers and paintbrushes. She paused long enough to extend a hand. 

“Hi. I’m Andi…Andi Marino,” she said with a broad smile that brought out the dimples in her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just trying to be funny.” Emily shook her hand as she looked into deep brown eyes. Holy shit, she’s pretty, Emily thought. Holy shit!  Did I just think that? Emily blushed and pushed the thoughts aside. She guessed the woman to be about her age, maybe a year or two older. Her brown hair was so dark that it was almost black and hung down just below shoulder length with the slightest bit of a curl at the end. The length was shorter in the front and it framed her face and soft features nicely. Emily noticed the dimples in Andi’s cheeks when she smiled, and how the smile brightened her olive complexion. She wore no makeup, but Emily didn’t think she needed any. Her skin had a natural glow and her eyes held an inner sparkle that was ignited when she smiled.

I teach math here,” Andi added as she handed some papers to Emily. They both stood, all of the papers now back in Emily’s arms. 

“Art. Art teacher. I’m the new art teacher,” she stammered.

“I thought you might be,” Andi said as she handed Emily paintbrushes. “Do you have a name or should I just refer to you as ‘the art teacher’?” 

Emily noticed that the dark jeans and a light blue polo shirt that Andi wore hugged her slim body but showed off curves in all the right places. I’m going to have to find out about the dress code for teachers around here. I would much rather be wearing jeans.

“I’m sorry. I’m just a little flustered, this being my first day and all. I’m Emily Sanders.” 

“No need to get flustered yet. Most teachers wait until the students arrive to do that. They’ll keep you on your toes, for sure.” Andi watched Emily for a moment. “This isn’t your first year teaching is it?” she asked her.

“Oh, no. I taught at a school in Rochester for several years.” Emily shuffled the pile in her arms so that she could reach a strand of light brown hair and push it behind her ear. The hair came loose immediately and fell across her face again.

“You’ll like it here. It’s a great school with a great staff…. well, mostly a great staff.”

Emily smiled and raised her eyebrows. “Mostly a great staff?” 

“Hmm, shouldn’t have said that,” Andi said, tilting her head making a face. “Speaking of staff…we have a mandatory staff meeting in the auditorium in thirty minutes. Do you know where that is? Do you know your way around the school yet?”

“Let’s see, I know where the main office is and the art room. So that would be a no, I guess I don’t know where it is. I have a map here, somewhere…” Emily started shifting the papers around in her arms in search of the map, but they threatened to topple again.

     “If it would help, I can come by the art room in about twenty minutes and we can go together. I can even give you a tour of the school afterward, if you want.”

“Oh my God. That would be wonderful. I would be so grateful.” 

“No problem. Do you know where you’re going right now?” Andi asked.

“Yep. I am going to my art room. I go down to the end of this hall and turn left. Right? I mean… correct?” 

“Yes, left…that’s right…correct.” Andi laughed. “That’s the way to the art room all right. I’ll see you in about twenty minutes.” Andi turned and went in the opposite direction.

Emily stood and watched her walk away. I am definitely going to have to ask about wearing jeans to work.

In the art room, Emily set her armload of papers and boxes down on the closest table. She turned, hands on her hips, and surveyed the room. Several color charts and a few old, faded art posters hung on the walls. Three deep sinks sat side by side in the corner of the large room. Foot pedals at the base of each sink allowed the students to turn on the water even if their hands were full or messy with paint. Against the back wall, shelving units held a variety of art supplies. Light streamed in through the four large windows on the right side of the room, illuminating several easels and about twenty drawing tables that were scattered about the room. Three round tables sat in the center of the room in front of the teacher’s desk. Chairs were stacked on the tables with a few more turned upside down on the drawing tables. On the wall behind her desk hung a small blackboard trimmed with well-worn oak. The tray held several pieces of broken chalk in various colors, along with a dusty eraser. The chalkboard seemed out of place next to the brand new smart board to its right. Emily was sure she would use both.

Okay, I like this room. I can do this. Emily thought. After a little rearranging and some new art posters on the walls, she would like it even more.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. “It hasn’t been twenty min…” Her voice trailed off as she turned to the open door expecting to see Andi. Instead she saw an older woman standing there. Her gray hair was pulled back tightly and twisted into a bun. Her pale yellow flowered blouse was tucked snugly into the waistband of her straight black nylon skirt that hung down two inches below her knees. Emily wondered how she was able to walk in the narrow pointy-toed, high-heeled shoes that her feet were stuffed into. Despite seeing bulges from bra straps visible through the blouse’s shoulders, the woman’s breasts hung down loosely, stopping just above her belly button.

“Hi.” Emily said cheerfully and bit hopefully.

“Mrs. Sanders?” the stern woman asked.

“Miss Sanders. Emily,” Emily corrected.

“Miss Sanders,” Stern woman said. “You failed to sign some very important paperwork in the office.” Emily didn’t think it was possible for the woman’s face to look any sterner without cracking. The woman’s frown deepened when Emily didn’t answer immediately.

“I was in the…” Emily started to explain and then realized it was fruitless. She decided to change tactics. “I am so sorry,” she said sweetly. “Can I come by after the staff meeting to sign them?”

“I suppose that would be fine.” One side of her mouth tilted up slightly at an angle. 

I wonder if that is her idea of a smile, Emily thought. The woman nodded at her and was gone, probably to harass another teacher.

Fifteen minutes later Emily was lost in thought leaning over a box of art supplies, taking inventory. She pulled out scraps of drawing paper, watercolor paper and canvas and sorted them into piles. She didn’t hear Andi come into the room and walk up behind her. “Finding anything good?” Andi said softly, directly into Emily’s ear.

“Holy shit!” Emily jumped, stood upright and almost knocked right into Andi. “Stop sneaking up on me. You’re going to give me a heart attack.” She turned with hand over her heart but couldn’t help smiling at Andi.

“I am so sorry.” Somehow it didn’t sound sincere through the giggle that Andi tried to suppress. 

“Oh, these are great.” Andi said as she thumbed through a pile of art posters lying on a table nearby.  “I love art. I wish I was creative, but I can’t even draw a straight line.”

“That’s why they make straight edges,” Emily teased with a grin. 

“Thanks,” Andi grinned back. “I’ll try to remember that. Are you ready for the meeting?”

“Just let me get my backpack and I’ll be set.” She swung her backpack over one shoulder as she followed Andi out the door. Emily once again noticed Andi’s jeans as she walked behind her. I wish my jeans looked that good on my butt, Emily thought to herself.

*****

The meeting and school tour behind them, Andi sat on the edge of one of the round tables in the art room, letting her legs swing back and forth, the toes of her sneakers sliding lightly over the floor.

“So, are you ready for the students to start on Tuesday?” she asked Emily.

“Pretty much.” Emily dumped a box of paints onto the table. “I just need to finish sorting out these art supplies. How about you?”

“I have a calculator, that’s all I need. At least that’s what most of the kids think nowadays. I tell ya, back in the olden days when I was a kid, they didn’t have calculators. We were lucky if we had a pencil and paper to figure out math problems…and then we had to sharpen the pencils with our teeth because pencil sharpeners hadn’t been invented yet.”

Emily separated the paints into piles as she spoke. “I guess you should count yourself lucky you had that, because I hear the kids with stone tablets and chisels had it even worse. Those chisels were murder on the teeth to sharpen.” Andi grinned as Emily looked up from her task.         

“Ain’t that the truth?”  Andi got up and walked closer to Emily. “Need any help?”

“Sure. If you’re serious, can you sort the rest of this paint into piles?” 

“No problem, you want reds in a pile and blues in a pile? Sort them by colors?”

“No, sort them by type. Put all the oil paints together and the tubes of watercolor and so on.”

“I guess that would be a problem then, because I don’t know which is which,” Andi said.

Emily handed her two tubes of paint. “See right here? Each tube is labeled so it’s easy to figure out.”

“Okay then.” Her dimples appeared with the smile. “What are you going to do while I do this?”

Emily sat down on the same table that Andi had been sitting on and began swinging her legs. “I am going to sit on this table and watch you work for a while. Sorting tubes of paint is hard work and I need a rest.” She lasted all of two minutes on the table before she got up and started sorting brushes from another box.

“All done resting?” Andi asked her.

“Yep. I was wrong. I can’t just sit there and watch you work.”

*****

Emily changed out of her dress clothes and into jeans and a plain blue tee shirt as soon as she got home. She felt much more comfortable and relaxed now.

“Did you make s..s..some new friends at school t..today?”  Mindy asked her as if she was asking a child just starting kindergarten.

“As a matter of fact, I did.” Emily handed her two napkins as they finished setting the table for supper.

“Who?” Mindy asked with real interest.

“Let’s see…I met the lady from the front office. I don’t think we’ll be really good friends though, because I forgot to sign some papers so she was kind of mad at me.  And I met some people in the main office, like the vice principal, and I talked to two teachers after the staff meeting.  But the nicest person that I met today was Andi, the math teacher.”

“Ooooo! Is he your boyfriend?” Mindy put her hand over her mouth and giggled.

The older sister playfully swatted at her with a dishtowel. “No, silly. Andi is a girl.” A very pretty girl.  “She showed me all around the school, so now I won’t get lost. Hopefully.”

“What does she look like?”

Emily smiled. “She is just a little bit taller than me. She has very dark brown hair, about down to here.” Emily put her hand just below shoulder height to show Mindy.  “She has pretty brown eyes and dimples.” 

“Dimples?” Mindy giggled. “What the heck is that?”

“Hmm, that’s a good question. It’s sort of like little holes in your face, right here.” Emily pointed to her own cheeks.

“Can you see her teeth in the holes?” Mindy asked seriously.

Emily laughed. “No, honey, the holes don’t go all the way through her face. They just go in a little tiny bit. So, how about you? Did you make any friends today?” 

Emily put an oven mitt on her hand and opened the oven door. The room filled with the warm scent of home cooking as she pulled out the pan filled with roasted potatoes, carrots and a seasoned pork roast. She set the pan down on the top of the stove and pulled off the sheet of aluminum foil that lined the top. Mindy began to tell Emily about her day.

Thirty minutes later Mindy was still talking between bites of her food. In great detail, she told Emily everything that happened and all of the people she met. Two of them, Daisy and Jeffrey, were even considered new best friends. 

They were just finishing up dessert when the conversation turned to talk of their mom. “You really miss her, don’t you?” Emily asked her little sister.

“I miss her a whole lot. She was the best m-m-mother in the whole world. I not so sure why people die. How come people die, Emily? Daddy said it was cause ‘God wanted her with him’.   But I wanted her with me, too?”

Emily reached across the table and took Mindy’s pudgy hands in her own. “Oh, sweetie, I miss her too. Sometimes the bodies that we have just stop working right and we die. Just like the blood vessel in Mom’s head stopped working and she died. Mom was lucky enough to have a wonderful place like heaven to go to. She’s with God now, and waiting for the rest of the people that she loves.” 

“Like us?”

“Like us. But that probably won’t be for a very long time, so Mom has God and Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle Johnny to keep her company until it’s our turn to join her. Do you understand?”

Mindy nodded, but still looked confused.

“We are so, so lucky, Emily,” Mindy said as the confusion left her face. “We had the b…b…bestest mom in the whole world and we had her for a long time, ever since I was a little baby even. And she is okay now, she isn’t in no pain, no more.” Mindy paused before going on. “I know she is okay. I had a dream and she told me be happy. She told me that she is okay. And she looked happy and okay, so I think she was telling me the truth.”

Emily got up and walked around the table and gave Mindy a hug. When Mindy had enough of it, she gently pushed her away with a giggle. Emily roughed up her hair. She loved her baby sister. She liked having her family around her.

“Okay, little girl, let’s get these dishes done.”

“Hey! I am not a little g-g-girl. If I am a little g-g-girl, you are an old lady.” Her laugh came out more like a snicker.

“Okay, big girl, let’s get these dishes done.”

“Okay, okay, okay, th..th..that’s better. You wash, I dry.”

“How about we just load them into this dishwasher here? It came with the house, ya know.”

Mindy slapped her hand against her forehead. “Oh yeah, I forgot ‘bout that. How do we do it again?”

Chapter 2

It was the first day of school for the students, and Emily felt like it was her first day of work all over again. She tapped her fingers nervously on the steering wheel as she parked in the teachers’ parking lot. As she got out of the car, she looked up at the sky with its deep blue color and billowy white clouds. It was a beautiful, sunny day for early September. She took a deep breath, turned her attention to the school and walked toward it. She had spent the last two weeks getting her classroom ready, going to staff meetings, and planning her curriculum for the year. The art room was well stocked with supplies. Her teaching plan was well thought out and clear. Everything was ready.

She had spent the last eight years teaching at a city school in Rochester. It was a tough school with tough kids. This was a nice school in the suburbs. Surely it would be easier. Fear of the unknown, she realized. I am nervous just because I don’t know how everything will go. I don’t know the kids yet or how they are going to react to me. Emily recognized a pattern within herself. Anything that was new held a certain amount of fear for her. She shook her head and half smiled at the revelation about herself, not that it made it any easier for her to walk into the brick building and to her classroom. 

Emily let out a sigh as she entered her room. She set her backpack on her desk and proceeded to take the chairs off the tables, getting ready for her homeroom students. She didn’t have to wait long. Within twenty minutes a quiet buzz grew into loud chatter as the students arrived. Small groups quickly formed as the kids caught up on gossip and summer activities.

The bell sounded loudly to indicate the start of the school day. Emily jumped. “Everyone take a seat,” she said, trying to cover her embarrassment. She repeated the command to a few stragglers as they continued to stand and talk, sizing her up before finding seats.

“Good morning,” Emily started. “I am Miss Sanders. Obviously I’m the new art teacher here, seeing as we are in the art room.” A few of the kids chuckled. “Now that we know who I am, let’s find out who you are. Please raise your hand when I call your name.  Susan Abbott?” She looked around the room until her eyes found the hand raised in the air. Her eyes followed the hand down to the young girl’s face. Emily knew it would take time, but she wanted to try to get a handle on matching names and faces. She marked her attendance sheet and read off the next name. “Mark Anderson?”

*****

The day seemed to fly by, and before she knew it the final bell rang at the end of the last period of the day. Everything had gone very well as Emily took the day to get to know her art students. There were no lessons or art books today. Each period she and the class talked about art and what they hoped to get out of the class. It had been a very productive day. Emily sat at her desk, relieved that it all went so well.

“Knock, knock.” 

The sound of Andi’s voice made her turn her head toward the door.

“Hi there,” Emily smiled.

“Hi, yourself,” Andi’s smile matched her own as she leaned in the door. “How was your first day with the kids?”

“Excellent. I think it went really well. They seem like a great bunch of kids. Of course I know it was only the first day and everyone was on their best behavior.” Emily picked up a few stray pens from her desk and put them in the top drawer.

“Yes. It doesn’t hurt that art is an elective either. The kids that are in your class are here because they want to be. Not always the same story with my math students.”

“True, but you also get the kids that think art is an easy ‘A’ and don’t want to put in the effort.”

“A very good point. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a cup of coffee or something? There is a nice place a few miles down the road. Good coffee and great pastries.”

Emily took a quick look at her watch. It would be a little over an hour before Mindy got home. She knew Mindy would be fine by herself for a little while, but didn’t want to be too late getting home to make her supper. “Sure,” she said. “But I need to be home by five.”

“Got a hot date?” 

“Yeah.” Emily put some papers into her backpack as she rose. “A hot date with my sister.”

*****

     woul    

Emily followed Andi into the bright, cheery coffee shop. The red and white checkered table cloths gave the place an old fashioned look and feel. The smell of coffee and baked goods filled Emily’s nose as they walked in. The sign by the door informed them to seat themselves. Andi led the way to a table by the window.

“This is a cute little place,” Emily said, as she sat down.

“Coffee?” The waitress, complete with little pink uniform and pinafore apron, was at the table with a pot ready to pour.

“Yes, thanks,” Andi said, turning the coffee cup in front of her upright. Emily copied the action and nodded. The waitress filled both cups and left their table, refilling other customers' cups with coffee as she went.  

She returned within minutes, pulling her green order pad and a pen from the pocket in the front of her uniform. “What can I get for you?” she asked. Her eyes were young but her skin showed too many days spent in the sun. Her hair, dyed bright red, was pulled back tightly and tied into a ponytail.

Both women ordered Danish, and the waitress was off again.

Emily reached for the sugar and half & half. Andi watched with amusement as she opened and poured four little containers of half and half and two packets of sugar into her coffee. Emily looked up and caught her eyes. “What?” she asked.

“You like a little coffee with your cream and sugar?” Her smile caused the corner of her eyes to crinkle, as little laugh lines appeared.

“Just a little,  Emily answered, enjoying the company. Andi had a great sense of humor and Emily had no trouble playing along.      

Andi sipped her coffee – black. The waitress returned with two Danish and set them down on the table. 

“Anything else I can get for you?” she asked. 

“I’m all set,” Andi told her. “How about you, Emily?”

“Me, too. Thank you.” Emily gave her coffee mixture several rotations with her spoon. 

“Thanks,” Andi said to the waitress, then turned back toward her companion. She watched as Emily cut into her pastry. Raspberry filling dripped onto her plate. Another couple of drops fell as she bit into the piece on her fork.

Andi reached across the small table, ran her finger across the drips and put her finger into her mouth. Emily watched the movement with great interest. 

Andi looked up to see Emily watching her. “Sorry,” she said, looking a little embarrassed. “I wanted to see how the raspberry tasted. You can have a bite of my cheese danish, if you want.” She cut a piece of her own food, stabbed it with her fork and reached across the table with sliding it into Emily's open mouth.

“Mmm,” was all Emily could say. She was too surprised by this whole exchange with her new friend to say much more. She had a lot of friends back in Rochester, some that she considered to be close friends, but none that she could think of would have reached for that drip of filling or offered a bite of food off of their own fork to her. She liked the way it felt. She liked this budding friendship. She had the feeling Andi would become a good friend.

“So, tell me about this hot date you have with your sister,” Andi said between bites. “Is she your only sister? Do you have other siblings?” Andi took another bite of her Danish. “Isn’t this food good?”

Emily took a sip of her diluted coffee before answering. “It’s just supper at home, yes, no and yes.”

“Huh?”

“My hot date with my sister is just supper at home. Yes, she is my only sister. No, I don’t have other siblings and yes, this food is good. Really good!”

Andi laughed.

“My sister, Mindy, came to live with me after our mom died, a few months ago. Well, my mom died a few months ago, and my sister came to live with me a couple of weeks ago.” Emily clarified.

“Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry, Emily. Was it sudden?” Andi looked intensely at Emily, her face showing true concern.

“Yes. It was very sudden. She had a brain aneurysm. She was gone before we even knew what was happening.” 

“Oh, Em, I am so sorry.” Andi reached across the table and squeezed Emily’s hand. Emily felt the warmth and comfort of it. Andi waited for Emily to continue.

“It wasn’t easy and I still miss her every day. But, having my sister around helps. My dad was having trouble with his own grief, so we thought that Mindy would be better off with me for now.”

Andi let go of her hand. Emily missed its warmth immediately, but it didn’t seem appropriate to reach for it back. “How old is Mindy?”

“She’s twenty-three,” Emily said. She liked having someone to talk to, someone that really seemed to care. “Mindy has Down syndrome. She is very self-reliant and what you would call high functioning, but she still needs someone to look after her. In many ways she is like a child and in some ways she is more of an adult than I am. There is a wisdom about her that a lot of people don’t have and she is so full of love for everyone. I do my best to make sure she has what she needs.”

“It’s wonderful that you would do that for your sister.”

“I don’t feel like I am doing anything special for her. She’s my sister. We take care of each other.” Emily continued to eat and sip her coffee while she talked. Andi hadn’t touched hers as she put her full attention on the woman sitting across from her. “I like having her around. I like taking care of her, although she thinks I try to do too much. But she is a great kid…young woman. I guess she will always be a kid in a lot of ways.”

“Sounds like you love her a lot.”

“I do.” 

“So, Sanders? Is that English? Scottish?”

“Very good, I’m impressed. It is a Scottish name. But I am a mutt, Scottish, French and Italian.”

“Wow, your people really got around.” Andi joked.

Emily couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, I guess you can say that. You’re Italian, right?”

“Yep, with the tiniest bit of German thrown in from somewhere. I think my great grandfather on my mother’s side was German.”

“How long have you been teaching?” Emily took the last bite of her food and wiped her mouth with a napkin.

“Well, I have been teaching for, hmm, let’s see…this is my thirteenth year. Wow, does that make me feel old.”

“Have you been at the same school the whole time?”

“Yep. Started here pretty much out of college and never left. I complain about the kids sometimes, but I do love it.” Andi started eating again and noticed that Emily had finished hers. She cut another piece and offered it to Emily. Emily held up her hand and shook her head no. As good as it was, her waistline didn’t need it. “The school district is good,” Andi continued. “We have some great teachers. It’s the school I graduated from.”

“Wow!” Emily was surprised. “You didn’t stray far from home then. Did you go to college here too?”

“No, I went to college in Buffalo. I loved it there, but it didn’t feel like home, you know?”

The waitress came back to refill the coffee cups. Emily put her hand over her cup and shook her head. She knew that any more caffeine and she would have trouble sleeping that night. Andi accepted the refill.

Emily waited until the waitress left before continuing her questions. “So, what about your personal life? Married? Boyfriend?” Emily asked with interest, noting that there were no rings on Andi’s fingers.

Andi squirmed a little in her seat. “No,” was her simple answer.

“Oh, you aren’t getting off that easy. As pretty and friendly as you are, there must be someone special in your life.”

“Well, I just ended a four year relationship last year.” Andi squirmed a little in her seat and Emily wasn’t sure she should pursue it.

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to press. I am just interested in knowing more about you.”

“No big deal. It just wasn’t working out. I think the relationship really ended about a year before I left.”

“So what happened? How come it didn’t work out? He just wasn’t right for you?” Emily asked. Andi hesitated and Emily thought maybe she had taken the questioning too far.

“She,” Andi emphasized, “is a nice person and we are still friends, but we just weren’t right together.” She waited, watching Emily’s eyes for her reaction. When she didn’t get a response, she said. “Does it bother you that I’m gay?” Andi had never revealed being a lesbian quite so casually before.

“Hmm, well, to be honest, I’m a bit confused,” Emily responded at last.

Andi thought she would save Emily the embarrassment of asking the questions that she had heard so many times before. “Yes, I’m sure and no, it isn’t because I haven’t met the right man yet. I get asked that a lot.” Andi’s voice was lighthearted but her eyes were still intensely watching Emily for a reaction.

“No, that wasn’t the question.” Emily sipped her coffee, forcing Andi to wait. “How come you teach math? Shouldn’t you be a gym teacher?” She smiled at her own joke.

“Oh, aren’t you just so funny?” Andi smiled back. “I was very nervous about telling you. I’ve lost a couple of friends in the past when I came out to them.”

“They couldn’t have been very good friends then,” Emily responded.

Andi was visibly relieved.

“Relax.” Emily said. “I know lesbians are almost like real people.” This time she laughed out loud at her joke.

Andi shook her head back and forth, but her smile lit up her whole face. “Okay, so your turn now. Anyone special in your life?”

“Oh, no. We aren’t done talking about you.”

“What else do you want to know?”

“Well, let’s start with your name. Where did Andi come from? Did your dad want a boy?”

“Considering he already had four of them by the time I was born, I doubt it. I was named after his mother. My real name is Andreina. My mom was never crazy about that name but named me it because it was important to my father. Anyway,  she called me Andi, which I like much better.” She had told exactly three people in her life her real name and she had never told anyone this soon after meeting them. It was so easy to talk to Emily.

“Now that sounds like a very Italian name.”

“Sure is. My grandmother is Italian through and through. I spent a lot of my time with her when I was growing up to get away from a house full of brothers.” Andi glanced at her watch. “I hate to say it, but it’s twenty to five. We need to get going if you are going to be home by five.”

“Wow, the time flew by. Yes, I do need to get going. I have thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure. I’ll walk you to your car.”

Andi stopped at the cash register to pay the bill and refused to take the money Emily tried to hand her. “I’ve got it,” she said to her.

“Then I’ll have to take you out the next time.” Emily said. She was looking forward to it.

*****

Mindy was sitting on the couch watching television when Emily got home. Emily was in a very good mood. “Whatcha watching there, Mindy?” 

“Hi, Emily. Did you have fun on your coffee meeting?” Mindy looked back over her shoulder and up at Emily.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to answer a question with a question?” Emily joked. Yep, she was definitely in a good mood.

Mindy was confused. “Huh?”

“Nothing. I am just kidding you. I see you got my phone message and yes, I had a lot of fun at my ‘coffee meeting’,” Emily said. “I am going to get supper started. Are you hungry?” Emily threw her backpack on the brown recliner. 

“I st..st..starving.” 

“You poor kid. Starving, huh?” Emily smiled and headed into the kitchen, humming as she gathered ingredients for a salad.

“Hey!” she heard Mindy yell. “I not a kid!”

Chapter 3

 Andi opened the front door and looked at Emily through the screen. “Hi there, come on in,” she said, pushing the screen door open. Emily stepped into the foyer, stopped and looked around on the floor as the door closed behind her. 

“What are you doing?” Andi asked.    
“You don’t have any cats?” Emily said as she brought her eyes up to look at Andi.

“Why? Are you allergic to cats?” 

“No, I just thought it was a prerequisite for lesbians.”

“You are just so funny, aren’t you? No, it isn’t a prerequisite.” Almost as if on cue Emily felt something rub up against her leg. She looked down at a very large orange and white striped cat. She gave Andi an amused look. “It isn’t a prerequisite,” Andi repeated more forcefully. “It’s an option.” She couldn’t help but grin at Emily.

Andi picked up the hefty cat, who offered no resistance. “Emily, this is Butch. Butch meet my new friend Emily.” She leaned close to the cat and whispered in her ear loud enough for Emily to hear, “I think you’re going to like her.”

“Hi, Butch,” Emily said to the cat, rubbing her hand over the animal’s head. “What a big boy you are.”

“Big girl.” Andi smiled. “Butch is a big girl. She was a very butchy kitten when I got her, very rough and tumble, so I thought the name fit.” Emily raised her eyebrows but smiled at the explanation. “And just how do you know so much about lesbians?” Andi asked with a smile.

“Hey, I read,” Emily laughed.

Andi deposited the large feline on a chair as they passed through the open living room and into the kitchen. 

“I thought maybe we would sit on the back deck, seeing it’s such a nice evening,” Andi said. She took two beers out of the refrigerator and held one up to Emily for her approval. Emily nodded and reached for a bottle. Andi opened a bag of potato chips and poured them into a glass bowl. She handed the bowl to Emily and went back to the refrigerator for a container of French Onion dip. 

They went out on the deck and into the warm late summer evening air. Four cushioned chairs surrounded a glass-topped table trimmed with dark green metal. The patio furniture was starting to show some wear and the green floral print fabric was beginning to fade from being in the sun too long. The redwood deck ran the entire length of the house and eight feet wide. It stood three feet off the ground. Several steps off to the right lead down to the well-groomed lawn. A small hot tub sat in the corner with the padded top locked securely down. 

Andi set her beer and the container of dip down on the table and motioned for Emily to do the same with the bowl of chips she held. Andi pulled a chair back away from the table. “Have a seat” she said to Emily, before pulling out another chair for herself.

Emily sat down and looked around. The grass was still very green and lush for the beginning of September in Central New York. Large ash trees that were just beginning to shed their leaves, trimmed the property in the back and pine trees lined it on each side, creating a sense of privacy and a feeling of peacefulness. A large flower garden sat almost dead center of the big lawn. It was raised up off the ground about eight inches and was surrounded by a ring of natural brown stones. Rose bushes that had lost the last of their blossoms were still full and green.  Dahlias of every color dominated the garden and Emily could tell that the mums off to the left had been freshly planted. There wasn’t a weed in sight. “What a nice backyard you have,” Emily said.

“Thank you.” Andi twisted the cap off of her beer and took a sip.

“Your garden reminds me of my mom. She was quite the gardener herself and always had roses and flowers planted everywhere.”

“You must miss her a lot.” Andi watched her new friend. 

“I do miss her a lot. But I was so lucky to have such a wonderful mother and I am very grateful for the time I did have her in my life.”

“That’s a great attitude to have.”

Emily took a swallow of her beer feeling the bubbles and cool liquid tickle her throat. She helped herself to a few potato chips before answering. “I really do feel that way, but it was a process getting there. I was very angry when she first died. You know…‘the why her, why me, why us’, kind of stuff. I felt cheated because some people get to be sixty or seventy years old and still have their mothers, and I lost mine when I was thirty five.”

Andi kept her eyes on Emily as she talked. “So, what helped you get over the anger?”

“Some of it was just the passing of time, but mostly it was Mindy. She helped me get through it. She doesn’t quite understand death…I think…but she understands life and she knows our mother had life and we were lucky that she shared it with us. I’m not explaining it very well.  Mindy just kind of has a way of telling you that everything is okay and I believe her.”

“Wow. I thought Mindy was lucky to have you, but it sounds like you are both very lucky to have each other.” 

“We are. I am getting to know my sister again. She was still pretty little when I went away to college, and I only saw her when I was home on break. I moved into my own place right after college.” Emily was feeling very comfortable around Andi, finding it very easy to talk to her. “I seem to be hogging the conversation here. I want to hear more about you.”

“No, no, I am enjoying you hogging the conversation. Go on.” Andi smiled broadly as she took a handful of chips. “Hog away.”

Emily followed Andi’s lead and helped herself to more potato chips. She brought one up to her mouth but spoke before eating it. “No, seriously, your turn, I want to learn more about you.  Tell me about your life.”

“What do you want to know?”

“You grew up with four older brothers. What was that like?”

“When I was very young, I was the little princess…I could do no wrong. But as I got older and wanted to do stuff with them, hang around them and their friends, they thought of me more as a nuisance, you know? They were doing all the fun things, playing basketball, going to movies, getting into trouble. I just wanted to tag along.”

“That must have been hard for you.”

“It was for a while. My dad thought that girls shouldn’t be doing ‘boy’ things and my mother was so overwhelmed trying to raise them and keep them in line and out of trouble that she didn’t have a whole lot of time left over for me.”

Emily reached over and rubbed Andi’s shoulder lightly.

“That is how come I spent so much time at my grandmother’s,” Andi continued. “She was my escape, a really great lady. She taught me a lot about life, all the important stuff like making chicken soup and sewing…and I guess just being myself. She taught me it was okay to be myself. She gave me a great sense of self-worth.”

“She sounds wonderful. This was your father’s mother?”

“Yes, the one I was named after.”

“How old were you when she died?” Emily asked.

Emily could see Andi smile though the fading light of day. “Oh, she didn’t die. At the age of seventy-nine she got herself a boyfriend and they decided to travel around the world. They’re in Sicily right now. I’m sure she’s over there teaching them all how to cook.” Andi laughed.

“Wow, that’s great.”

“It is. She sends me postcards from wherever they are. They come home every couple of months, but they don’t stay home long before they’re off globe-trotting again.”

“And how about the rest of your family? How is your relationship with them now?” Emily asked. “Do they know you’re gay?”

“Yeah, they know,” Andi said, answering the last question first. “They weren’t too happy about it at first. My mother was convinced that it was her fault because she didn’t spend enough time with me when I was a kid. She has that classic mother guilt that somehow makes you feel guilty for making her feel guilty.” Andi sipped her beer, running her finger up the side of the bottle to catch a drip before setting it back down on the table. “They’re all right with it for the most part. I see them from time to time, and things are fine. We don’t talk about it much. My brothers are all married now with families of their own. I guess God must have thought there were enough boys in our family, because every single one of them has only daughters. I have seven nieces.”

“I guess they have a lot of little girls tagging along now.”

“Poetic justice.”   

“Does anyone at work know you’re gay?” Emily paused. “I hope I’m not getting too personal with the questions here.”      

“Not at all, I don’t mind talking about this,” she paused before adding, “With you.” Andi smiled. “A lot of the people at work know. I don’t advertise my sexuality but I don’t hide it either. The students, of course, don’t know. At least as far as I know, they don’t. The people that do know seem cool with it. I haven’t heard any negative remarks from anyone.”

“That’s great. I’m glad.”

“You know Sandra Polly, the French teacher, and Brenda Sherman, one of the gym teachers?”  Andi asked.

“I know who they are. I don’t know them very well.”

Andi paused before speaking as if she was choosing her words very carefully. “Well, Sandra used to be married to Robert Martinez, the English teacher… now she lives with Brenda.”

It took a minute for Emily to catch on.  “You mean …umm…the two women are now together…as a couple?”

“Yep.” Andi nodded.

“So, at least part of my theory is correct.” Emily drank from her bottle waiting for the question, trying not to smirk.

“Okay, I’ll bite. What theory?”

“Lesbians and gym teachers. I got it right by fifty percent on that one.” The potato chip Andi playfully threw at Emily landed on the side of her head and in her hair. Emily laughed and reached to take it out, but only managed to get it tangled in more.

“A little help here, Miss Potato Chip Thrower.” She pointed to the lump stuck in her hair.

“Don’t worry, I’ll save you.” Andi stood up and delicately pulled at strands of Emily's hair as she removed pieces of chips. Emily’s head was tilted slightly upward, and she found herself looking at the tanned skin on Andi’s neck. She followed it down with her eyes until it reached the top swell of her breasts visible within the folds of her white shirt. Emily’s eyes remained there as Andi worked until Andi’s voice pulled her eyes away.

“Okay, all set. Got it.” She held several small pieces of potato chips in the palm of her hand and showed the pieces to Emily. “Would you like this back? It still looks fairly edible.”

“Umm, I’m thinking no.” 

Andi tossed the pieces over the deck railing and onto the lawn.

“That is littering, young lady.”

“The squirrels will get it.”

“God made junk food for people to eat, not squirrels. You never see a squirrel eating cotton candy, do you? God made cotton candy for people. I like to think of it as health food for our souls. If your squirrels gain twenty pounds we’ll know why.” Emily snickered.

“Good to know,” Andi said. “I will never feed junk food to a squirrel again. Ever.”

There was barely a break in the conversation when Emily asked, “So how come there is no one special in your life?”

“Wow, okay, guess there is no more small talk with you,” she said grinning. “Hmm, let’s see, I’ve told you that I ended a four year relationship about a year ago, and since then I haven’t found anyone that I want to be with.”

“I would think you would have to beat the women off with a stick.” Emily plopped a chip in the dip before bringing it to her lips.

“Yes, that is exactly what I have been doing, and now no one wants to come near me because there is this ugly rumor going around that I beat women with sticks.”

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

“I’m sorry,” Andi said. Emily didn’t think she really was. She seemed to enjoy teasing Emily and Emily didn’t mind it one bit. “I am very choosy, and don’t feel like dating just for the sake of dating. I am waiting for that special person to love that can love me back. Does that sound corny?”

“It sounds very romantic.”

“I think that has been a problem. I am very romantic and I want the whole package, the love, the commitment, the humor, the intimacy, the sharing. Did I mention the intimacy?”

“As a matter of fact you did. Was that a problem in your last relationship?” The sun was starting to set and the nearly full moon was casting a soft glow on the night.  

“Emotional intimacy was a problem. I never really felt connected to Janice. That was her name…Janice. I’m pretty sure it still is her name.” Andi joked, but then got serious again. “We were together for four years, but I think I spent most of that time trying to make it work. Our relationship towards the end went something like this,” Andi paused, gathering up her thoughts. “Janice would say or do something thoughtless or mean, and I would try to talk to her about it and end up crying. She would feel bad about making me cry and treat me extra nice for a while, but never addressed the real issue. I would still be hurt or mad and she would get angry all over again because her nice tactic wasn’t working. I had this image in my mind for a long time of who she was and the reality was that she was nothing like that. You know what I mean?”

“I do. That sounds a lot like my marriage.” Emily took a long swig of her beer and rolled the bottle in her hands.

“You were married?” Andi sounded surprised. “Do you want another beer?” She asked before Emily had answered her question.

“No, I’m fine with this one.” Emily said holding up her beer show Andi that it was still half full. “Yes, I was married for six years. I don’t count the last year while we were in the process of getting a divorce. I probably shouldn’t count any of it as anything but wasted time.”

“That's sad.” 

“Yes, let’s go with that…let’s go with sad. It sounds better than pathetic.” Emily didn’t sound bitter. She was just telling the story as if it was only facts. She had no emotions surrounding it any more.

“Why pathetic?” Andi leaned forward to listen to the answer.

“I guess because I never really loved him and I married him anyway because it was as close to love as I had gotten. I’ll tell you something that I learned from the relationship, though. I know that happiness has to come from within, and another person can’t make you happy…but they sure as hell can make you miserable.”

“Amen to that.” Andi raised her beer bottle towards Emily's clinking them together. Emily watched Andi as the moonlight danced in her brown eyes. Emily cleared her throat. For a moment she was at a loss for words and felt flustered. She wasn’t sure why. She turned her head and stared out into the evening.

There was a comfortable silence in the air between them. It was a silence that said more than many actual conversations Emily had had with other people.

Emily spoke at last. “How come you don’t have a lot of mosquitoes around here? They would be eating us alive at home by now.”

“The bats keep them in check,” Andi said seriously.

“Bats?” Emily ducked as if avoiding one. Her eyes looked upwards before turning them back to Andi. “Did I happen to mention that I am afraid of bats?”

“For real? They won’t hurt you. Emily, bats are our friends. Tell you what, if any bat comes near you I’ll get my big stick that I use to beat the women off and scare them away.”

“Oh, very funny. Okay, I am going to trust you on this. Bats are our friends, bats are our friends.” They both burst out laughing.

When the laughter died down, Emily said, “Okay, no more heavy subjects for the evening. Let’s see, what would be a good superficial question? Hmm. Oh, I know, what’s your biggest pet peeve?” She looked over at Andi who was finishing up the last of her beer.

Andi thought about her answer for a moment and tilted the empty bottle towards Emily as she answered. “Okay, here’s one, I hate it when people use the word ‘literally’ when there is no possible way that what they are saying can be taken literally.” She looked over at Emily to see if she needed further explanation. When Emily didn’t say anything, Andi continued. “For example, if someone says, ‘I literally ate a thousand hot dogs this week’. Well, they didn’t really eat a thousand hot dogs so …you know what I’m saying, right?” Emily nodded. “So, how about you? Biggest pet peeve?”

“Bats!”   

Chapter 4

Emily walked around the room checking the progress of the drawings as her students worked . “Don’t pick your pencil up off of the paper,” she told Kerry. “I want you to do a contour drawing all in one continuous line.” The young girl nodded her head. 

The skill level of the class varied greatly. The talent of some was quite obvious, while others struggled with each assignment. Emily observed which of the students would need the most help to get through the class. She was making mental notes to rearrange the seating so that any student having trouble would be seated next to a student that could help them out if they got stuck.

Emily silently walked up behind two boys, heads together whispering. She tapped one on the shoulder and then tapped her finger on drawing. They stopped talking immediately.

Most of the students were still drawing by the time the bell rang. “Everyone make sure your name is on the back of your paper and put them on my desk, whether you’re finished or not,” Emily said over the noise of students rising and chairs scrapping against the floor. The young people filed out of the room.

One more period to go, Emily thought. The last class was her oil painting class. Because the students had to complete two drawing classes and a color theory class in order to qualify for it, it was her smallest class. It was also Emily’s favorite. The students were highly motivated because most of them wanted to continue with art after high school. Oil painting was Emily’s personal passion.

“Miss Sanders.” The stern woman from her first day was back. Emily now knew her name was Rebecca Bowman, the office secretary.  She was also known amongst the teachers by several other names, but Emily refused to join in the name-calling. Once again when saying her name, Rebecca Bowman stressed the ‘Miss’ part as if it were an insult.

Emily smiled brightly at her as if the smile would be contagious and force some happiness into the miserable woman. “What can I do for you, Mrs. Bowman?” 

“Your sister called and left you a message.”

Emily momentarily panicked. “Is everything okay?”

“She said to remind you to pick up bread for supper. Apparently your cell phone is turned off.  In the future, I wish you would inform your sister, and anyone else for that matter, that the school office is not your personal answering service.” She turned and was gone before Emily had the chance to thank her.

Emily had given her little sister the school phone number in case of emergency. Bringing bread home for dinner was definitely not an emergency. Emily would have to talk to her about that.

Mindy had been excited all week. They were having what she called ‘party dinner’.  Emily didn’t consider having one of Mindy’s many “best friends” and Andi over for dinner to be a party of any kind.

Emily went to her desk to straighten the pile of drawings that her students deposited there. She was putting them safely in her drawer when the students for her final class of the day began to shuffle into the room. 

The students went directly to the shelves in the back of the room and retrieved their boxes of paints, turpentine and brushes. Each box had the student’s name printed neatly on the front with permanent marker.

Emily clapped her hands as the bell rang. “Class, let’s get set up at your easels and get started. Charlie, can you turn on the lights for the still life set up? And throw out your gum.” Charlie did as instructed and went to his own easel, putting on his paint smock before pulling out his paints. The room grew quiet.  Emily turned on the radio, set to the local soft rock station. It was a habit she had gotten into herself when she painted and thought it helped relax the kids as they worked the same way it did for her. She kept the volume low as she walked from student to student to give personal instruction and pointers where she felt the young artists needed help.

Later, after the last of the students left her classroom for the day, Emily grabbed her coat and her backpack, locked her classroom door and stopped at Andi’s classroom on her way out.

Andi sat at her desk grading papers. She looked up and smiled, her dimples showing. 

“Hi,” Andi said.

“Hi,” Emily replied. “I just wanted to make sure you were all set on directions to my house.”  She leaned her hip against the corner of Andi’s desk.

“Straight down Freemont, take a left onto Taft, right onto Church Street to Rose Terrace.” Her eyes lit up as her smile broadened. “How’d I do?”

Emily’s smile matched her own. “Excellent. Dinner is at six-thirty but feel free to come by earlier if you want to.”

“I thought I would bring wine. Is Chardonnay okay?”

“Perfect. I better get going,” Emily said, as she stood upright. “I have to stop at the grocery store before I go home. I’ll see you soon.” 

*****

“You must be Mindy,” Andi said as Mindy opened the door for her. Andi gave her a big hug, which Mindy accepted with enthusiasm. “Emily has told me so much about you that I feel like I already know you.” 

They were still hugging when Emily came up behind them. Andi reached out behind Mindy's back and handed Emily a bottle of wine.

“Mindy, you have to let her go so she can come in,” Emily said.

Mindy released the hug. “Hello, Andi.  It’s so nice to meet you.” Mindy said politely, putting her hand out to shake Andi’s hand. 

“Nice to meet you, too,” Andi said as Mindy pumped her hand up and down. Andi laughed and turned to Emily. “Hi there.”

“I see you found it okay. Come on in and I’ll show you around.” She turned to Mindy and handed her the wine. “Can you put this in the fridge, honey?”

Emily took Andi’s hand and led her down the short hall and into the living room. Dropping Andi’s hand, Emily raised up her arms and said in her best spoke’s model voice, “And here we have the living room.” She waved her hands about.

It was a cozy room with an oversized brown couch and a matching recliner chair. Both were positioned to get the best view of the forty-two inch high-definition television that sat on the entertainment center against the wall. The solid oak coffee table in front of the couch had an array of bowls and plates filled with chips and crackers and cheeses. Matching end tables sat on each end of the couch. A cream colored ceramic lamp sat on each end table.

A small cove, off to the right held a stone fireplace with a thick, dark wooden mantel. A loveseat with the same brown fabric as the couch faced the fireplace. The earth tones in the hand woven rug on the floor helped to give the area a very cozy look and feel. A small stack of wood sat off to the side in a wrought iron rack. More wood sat in the fireplace, waiting to become a warm fire.      

“This is very nice,” Andi said, looking around. Her eyes stopped on the paintings hanging on the far wall. “Oh my God. Are these your paintings?” Andi asked, turning from the framed artwork to Emily. Emily nodded. “These are incredible,” Andi said, looking back at the art. Her eyes took their time as she scanned each one. “Oil paintings, right?” Emily nodded again. Andi studied the landscape painting directly in front of her. It had a sensuality about it that Andi had only seen in figure paintings, never before in a landscape. The gentle rolling of the meadow and curves of the land reminded Andi of a female body. The scene was just before sunset, the trees alive with the color of fire. The painting itself seemed to glow from within.

“I love them all, but this one is my favorite,” Andi said at last pulling her eyes from it to look at Emily.  

“Thank you,” Emily said quietly, shyly.

“No, Em, I mean it.  It’s like I can see your soul in these paintings.”

“Thanks. Come on, I’ll show you my studio.” 

Andi was equally impressed with the painting that sat on the easel in the studio. It was clearly not done, but it was well on its way to being spectacular. The under painting was done in burnt sienna, and bits of it still showed through the colors that Emily had applied over the top of it.

Andi looked around the rest of the room. Large windows faced the south and let sunlight in even this late in the day. A drawing table sat in the corner. Various pencils and erasers were strewn about. There was a drawing showing the backside of a nude woman, taped to the table top. Andi didn’t know if she should venture closer to get a better look at it or not. Somehow it felt like she might be intruding on something that was personal to Emily.  “When do you have time to work on your own art?” she asked instead.   

“Mostly late at night. It’s like meditation to me and it helps me sleep.”

Andi found all of this fascinating. “So is that why you create art? Because it helps you relax?”

“I have so many ideas in my head that I need to get out. I guess I paint so I don’t go insane.  Better to be an artist than a mass murderer, I always say.”

“Good point.” Andi’s words were interrupted by Mindy coming into the room.

“Can I show Andi my room?” she asked as she bounced up and down with excitement.  Emily looked at Andi and raised her eyebrows, silently giving Andi the choice.

“Of course you can.” Andi linked her arm in Mindy’s and was practically dragged out of the studio. Andi gave Emily a quick smile over her shoulder as she was pulled away.

Emily went to check on the progress of the chicken cordon bleu in the oven. The chicken was just starting to brown and so far the cheese was staying inside and not leaking out onto the pan. Looking good, Emily thought as she shut the oven door. She lifted the lid of the pan on the stove top and peeked at the potatoes, set the lid back down and lowered the heat under it. As she opened the refrigerator to retrieve the ingredients for a salad, she noticed the wine that Andi brought. Kendall-Jackson, an excellent choice, Emily smiled to herself. She put the bottle on the table and looked through the silverware drawer for her corkscrew. I should invest in a better one of these, she thought as she found the old beat up tool.

She was struggling to get the cork out of the bottle when Mindy and Andi appeared in the doorway. “Let me help you with that,” Andi said, as she stepped forward and took the bottle gently from Emily. She pulled the cork out smoothly and effortlessly, and held it up for Emily to see with a smile of triumph on her face.  

“My hero.”

Andi gave a slight bow. “Wow, something smells great,” she said looking around the bright kitchen. “And I love this window.” Andi walked closer to examine the herbs and plants growing in pots lined up on the window sill as the late afternoon light poured over them.

“Thanks, I love plants and I use the fresh herbs when I cook.”

“I’ll get it.” Mindy said a little too loudly as the doorbell rang. She ran to the door, leaving Emily and Andi alone in the kitchen. Andi leaned toward Emily and whispered in her ear.

The closeness of Andi suddenly sent a shiver down Emily’s spine. “Mindy said I was her best friend.”

Emily laughed out loud. “I hate to burst your bubble, Andi, but Mindy’s other best friends include Daisy…who that should be at the door, Reba McEntire, Rachel from Friends, and the entire cast of Glee.”

Andi rolled her eyes good naturedly. “Holy cow! I think I could compete with Reba and Rachel, but I don’t stand a chance against the cast of Glee. Those kids are good!” She let out a chuckle.

“You got that right. Come on, let’s go meet her other best friend, Daisy.” Andi set the bottle of wine down on the table and followed Emily to the front door.

*****

“Oh my, this pie is sooo good,” Andi said as she licked every last crumb from her fork.  “Here you go,” she said handing the fork to Emily, grinning ear to ear. “No need to wash this one.”

“Okay, I won’t. I do that, too. I lick the fork clean and just put it back in the drawer. In fact, I probably did just that the last time I used that very fork.” 

Andi was laughing so hard she had to wipe a tear that rolled down her cheek. Mindy and Daisy laughed along. Emily tried hard not to laugh at her own joke, but couldn’t help it and it came out more like a snort, which started everyone laughing again.

Emily stood to clear the table as the laughter died down.  Andi got up to help, the two younger girls  slower to rise and join in, finished clearing the table as Andi scraped the dishes into the sink and handed them to Emily to load into the dishwasher.  Emily liked having Andi around, and the chore went fast as they chit-chatted away.

They were just finishing up when the doorbell rang. “My mom’s here! My mom’s here!” Daisy said bouncing up and down and clapping her hands. She and Mindy ran to the door followed closely by Emily. Andi stayed behind to put the last of the silverware in the dishwasher.

“Daisy is a complete doll,” Emily told Daisy’s mother at the door. “She’s welcome here anytime.”

There were hugs all around, and Andi appeared just in time for her good-bye hug from Daisy.

“You have a very nice friend there,” Emily said to Mindy as she closed the door.

“She’s my best friend,” Mindy said out loud to no one in particular. Emily looked at Andi and they exchanged a smile.

“Well, Mindy, what do you say you go get ready for bed?  Remember we have to get an early start in the morning. You need to get some sleep.” Emily tapped her sister gently on the shoulder.

“Yeah. We gonna go visit my daddy tomorrow,” Mindy said to Andi.

“I know, Emily told me. I hope you have a great visit.” 

“Okay,” was her simple answer and she turned to go, stopped abruptly, then turned back to Andi grabbed her hand   and pulled her into a hug. “V…v...very nice meeting you, Andi.”

“You too, sweetie.”

Mindy turned around and disappeared down the hall.

“How about another glass of wine, and then I can put the DVD in?” Emily offered.

“Are you sure? I know you have to get up early tomorrow, too.”

“Absolutely. Sit, make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right back.”

Andi sat in the recliner, changed her mind and sat on the couch instead. Emily came back with two glasses of wine and handed one to Andi. She set the other one on the coffee table, and picked the rented DVD up from the end table. She loaded it into the player and sat down on the couch next to Andi.  Emily let out an audible sigh as she leaned back into the soft cushions of the couch and pulled her bare feet up onto the couch next to her. She reached for her wine. “I can’t believe you have never seen Jerry Maguire,” she said to Andi. 

“Believe it,” Andi said. “I never lie about movies I haven’t seen. Besides, I usually only watch movies that have girl-on-girl action.” Emily gave her a playful slap. 

“Hey! I almost spilled this, and that would be alcohol abuse,” Andi said as she moved her wine glass out of the way, causing the wine to slosh around.

“Shh, the movie’s starting,” Emily whispered with a smile. 

Andi and Emily made comments here and there as the movie played, but watched most of it in relative silence.

As the movie was nearing the end, Emily stretched her legs out in front of her, trying to get more comfortable. “Put your feet up here,” Andi said, patting her lap. “I’ll give you a foot massage.”

Emily took only a moment to respond. She shifted her position on the couch, gently placing both feet in Andi’s lap, and leaned back comfortably against the couch. Her attention returned to the movie as Andi began to massage her foot. The stress began to leave Emily’s body as a new sensation moved in.  The tingling that started in her foot quickly moved up her leg and settled momentarily in the pit of her stomach, before moving down again and causing dampness in her underwear. Wow, Emily thought. What the heck?  She tried to justify the feelings she was having. I’ve just been lonely and I’m enjoying the attention, that’s all. She willed her body to stop its response to Andi’s touch. 

“You complete me,” Tom said to Renée in the movie.

“She doesn’t want to complete you,” Andi said to the television. “She wants you to come to her already whole and complete.” 

Emily was immediately pulled out of her thoughts. She looked at Andi and raised her eyebrows.

“Did I say that out loud?” Andi said, looking at her. She scrunched up her face, but couldn’t hold back her smile. They both burst out laughing. Emily gave her a light kick. “Hey, no kicking the masseuse.”

They brought their attention back to the television screen and Andi once again moved her strong hands over Emily’s feet. The sensations started once again in Emily’s body. Confused, she quickly pulled her feet away and sat up. “It’s tickling me,” she lied, feeling confused and uneasy by her body’s reaction.

When she dared to glance at Andi she saw a look of disappointment that Andi almost managed to cover with a smile.

“Sorry…”  Andi started.

“No, I’m sorry,” Emily interrupted. “I just have sensitive feet.” Another lie.

They finished watching the movie in silence. 

Andi rose as the credits played. “Thank you so much for inviting me over. I had a great time.”

“Me too,” Emily said honestly. “I truly enjoyed your company. We’ll have to do this again, soon.” They exchanged a quick hug at the door and Andi was gone.

Emily turned off the television, brought the wine glasses into the kitchen, and shut off lights as she passed through each room on the way to her bathroom. “What the heck is wrong with you?” she said out loud to herself in the mirror, and just shook her head in response. Stripped naked, she took a quick shower before slipping on her nightgown and climbing under the covers of her bed. Her mind replayed the events of the evening, and the sensations that went through her body when Andi rubbed her feet. She lay awake for a very long time, unable to fall asleep.

Chapter 5

Emily was still tired the next morning when she stopped at the nearby supermarket for snacks before heading out of town. She pulled into a parking space at the P&C grocery store. It was a warm day and the sun felt good pouring in through the car windows. It looked like it would be a very pleasant ride to Rochester and a great day to attend the Clothesline Arts Festival. 

Emily unfastened her seat belt and was just about to open her door when she spotted someone familiar in the passenger seat of a blue car several aisles across the parking lot. Was that…yes...it was Andi. Emily smiled. Then a look of confusion crossed her face. A frowned followed as she realized that the woman sitting in the driver seat had leaned toward Andi and was kissing her. 

Mindy didn’t see what had just transpired in the other car and watched Emily instead.

“What’s the matter?” she asked her big sister.

“Huh? Why?” Emily said glancing at her.

“Your lips are going crazy all over your face.”

Emily smiled at Mindy in spite of the hurt and confusion she felt. Hurt? Why should I feel hurt? Why am I feeling anything at all? So someone is kissing Andi. Why should I care? What the heck is wrong with me? Emily backed out of the spot she had just pulled into.

 “Hey, we didn’t get snacks and you promised,” Mindy said.

Emily turned her car to the right, away from Andi and the blue car, and out of the parking lot.

“Emily!” Mindy protested.

“We’ll stop on the Thruway and get something to eat,” she said as she pulled out onto Route Eleven. “Okay, honey?”

Mindy wasn’t pleased about the change in plans. “Oh all right, but do not forget.”

“Okay, okay,” Emily said, a little more curtly than she intended. 

Emily spent almost the entire hour and a half drive wondering what the heck was wrong with her. She was confused by her feelings. Was she jealous? Jealous of what? Andi certainly had the right to kiss whomever she wanted…and who wouldn’t want to kiss Andi, right? Knock it off, she told her brain, but it didn’t listen and the thoughts continued.

She was so wrapped up in her own brain that she almost passed the first service area without stopping for food. “Hey, do not forget and stop!” Mindy reminded her loudly. Emily pulled into the rest area and parked. She felt so guilty about being short with her little sister earlier that she let Mindy pick out anything she wanted. She didn’t much care if there was potato chip crumbs and dip in her car. She could clean it up later.

*****

Emily was feeling only a little bit better by the time she pulled into her dad’s driveway. She pushed the thoughts of Andi and her own reactions aside, and sat looking at the home she had grown up in. The large white house was in need of fresh paint and a shutter on the second floor needed repair. She didn’t like the feeling of the house since her mother’s death. The warmth was gone. It was just a house now, no longer a home, no longer her home. 

As she opened the car door and stepped out, she noticed that the lawn had recently been mowed. The long clippings suggested that it had been quite a while in between cuttings and Emily suspected that it had been mowed in anticipation of their arrival. Several birds flew to the bird feeder that hung from the large maple tree in the front yard, but flew away again when they discovered there were no seeds to be had. Mom loved sitting on the porch watching the birds at that feeder, Emily thought. She never would have let it run empty. That is how the house seemed to her now. Even from the outside it felt empty. 

Emily grabbed the suitcases from the backseat and handed one to Mindy. They walked silently up the short sidewalk that led to the porch and front door. Emily wasn’t sure if they should knock first or  go in. It had never even crossed her mind to ever knock when her mother was here.  She knew the door was always open to her. Mindy didn’t hesitate and she attempted to turn the doorknob to go in, and was very surprised when discovered it was locked. She looked momentarily confused, not sure what to do next. The heavy wooden door was opened from within as Emily raised her hand to knock.

William Sanders stood in the doorway and opened his arms wide to welcome his daughters.  He pulled them into a big bear hug. “Come on in, girls,” he said with a smile. He stepped back to allow them to pass.

The house was dark, despite the lights being on. Emily noticed that none of the curtains had been pulled back to allow the sun in. Dampness permeated the air. The grandfather clock in the foyer had a layer of dust covering it. It stood silent. No one had wound it for months, and the pendulum stood very still. The clock seemed to represent the feeling that surrounded them, still and lifeless.

“How are you, Dad?” Emily asked as they made their way into the living room and set their suitcases down.

“I’m doing okay, kiddo,” his reply less than convincing.

“Would it be all right if I open the drapes and let some light in here?”

“Sure thing, anything you want.” He attempted a smile.

Mindy gave him a big hug. “I miss you soooo much, Daddy.”

“I miss you too, baby. How is Emily treating you?” He watched as Emily opened the curtains and almost pulled back away from the light that seeped into the room as if would burn him.

“Emily is the bestest sister ever,” Mindy told her father with enthusiasm.  Emily smiled at her.

“I know she is.” He bent down and gave Mindy a kiss on the cheek.

“Owe! Daddy, your whiskers are rough.” She rubbed her cheek.

“I know. I need a good shave,” he said as he ran his hand over his face. “Let’s get these suitcases upstairs so you guys can settle in.” He headed up the stairs, suitcases in hand.

Emily draped her arm over her little sister’s shoulder and they started up after him, but Emily stopped and let Mindy walk up ahead of her. Something on the bookcase by the stairs caught her eye. Emily picked it up a large coin, and realized it was a one month chip from Alcoholics Anonymous. Under the chip sat a printed schedule for meetings, some of the dates circled. Emily placed the chip back in the same spot she picked it up from and continued up the stairs.

An hour later Emily was heading out the door. She had prepared a late breakfast of pancakes and sausage for her dad and sister; they were still enjoying it as she said her good-byes. She softly closed the door behind her and let out a sigh as she felt the fresh warm air that indicated the final days of summer.

Emily watched behind her as she carefully backed the car out onto the street. She pointed the car in the direction of Route 490 and stepped on the gas.  The ride to the Memorial Art Gallery was enjoyable. The traffic on the expressway was much lighter than it was on work day mornings.

As she exited onto Goodman Street, Emily began to relax. She looked forward to attending the Clothesline Art Festival every year, and this year would be no different. Going by herself meant that she could take her time while she checked out the booths of handmade jewelry, paintings, photography and various other high end works of art. The Clothesline Festival was one of the best shows in Western New York. Being a highly juried show, the artists that were accepted to show their wares were the best of the best. Emily thought she might even purchase a piece of art for her new home if anything “spoke” to her.

She found a parking spot right on Goodman Street, a short walk away from the Festival. Her parallel parking skills were put to the test as she maneuvered her car into the tight space but she pulled it off with no problem. Her walk was light and confident as she traveled the two blocks to the Festival. She was in her element now. This was the area she grew up in and she was about to mingle with other artists.  Yes, this was her comfort zone. She resisted the urge to pick a stick up from the ground and run it across the black wrought iron fence that surrounded the Memorial Art Gallery grounds where the Clothesline Festival was held. She paid her five-dollar admission fee and entered the outdoor show.

Emily paused briefly, deciding whether to walk past the kettle corn on her right or to purchase a bag. What the hell, she thought, and purchased the small size. She nibbled away as she started her trek around the grounds. She walked past several booths of stained glass, abstract paintings and portrait photography, stopping at a jewelry booth to look at a pair of earrings that caught her eye.  The delicate silver wire gently cradled a small tiger-eye stone that hung from a silver stud post. She held them up to her ears while looking in the small mirror that hung from the side of the display.  They don’t work with the color of my eyes, she thought. But they would look great with Andi’s brown eyes. She felt a pang in her chest as she once again pictured Andi being kissed by the stranger. What the hell is wrong with you, she reprimanded herself, and replaced the earrings on the rack as she pushed the image from her mind and left the booth.

Emily once again focused on the artwork surrounding her. She strolled leisurely and stopped at several booths to look at art and chat with the artists. Just as she left a booth featuring photographs of the Rochester area, she ran smack into Lauren Burns. “Oh my God, Lauren. How are you?” she asked as she composed herself.        

Lauren leaned in for a hug. “I’m doing great. How is your new job? How are you doing living in Syracuse? How’s Mindy?”

“I really like it there. The school is great. The kids are great. Mindy is adjusting well.”

“I’m glad,” Lauren said. Emily could hear the sincerity in her voice. “So how is your dad doing? I wave to him every once in a while when I see him outside, but that isn’t too often.”  Lauren lived across the street from her parents’ house…well, now her dad’s house.

“He’s trying.” She didn’t want to get into too much detail. “So what are you doing here? Looking for art to buy?”

Lauren brushed her long honey blond hair out of her face with her hand. “I am helping my sister out. She’s a watercolor painter. She has a booth just down there.” She pointed straight down the aisle several booths ahead. “I don’t think you’ve ever met her.”

“I don’t think so either, but I would love to see her work.” 

“Come on then.” Lauren linked her arm in Emily’s and led the way to the booth. Emily looked around at the large paintings that hung inside the white tent. She was very impressed. The use of colors and negative space as well as lights and shadows brought this art up to a whole different level than most of the art she had seen here today. 

As soon as the artist finished talking to a potential buyer, she turned her attention to her sister and Emily. Emily noticed the family resemblance immediately. Both sisters had very straight honey blond hair, although Lauren’s was much longer. They both had green eyes and very dark, thick lashes. Both women were very beautiful. The artist’s quick smile made her appear even more so. She looked to be a few years older than Lauren, which would make her a somewhat older than Emily as well.

“Sarah, this is my friend Emily.  Emily…Sarah.”

“Hello,” Emily said politely holding out her hand.

“So nice to meet you.” Sarah’s hand was soft, but her handshake firm. She continued to hold Emily’s hand while talking. “I think I’ve seen you before when I was at Lauren’s house.”

Emily searched her memory. I think I would have noticed meeting someone as hot looking as you, Emily thought. Oh my God, what is up with me noticing how good women look lately?

She was about to tell this woman that she didn’t recall meeting her, when Sarah spoke again.  “We didn’t actually meet. I just noticed you from across the street.”

How can anyone have teeth that white and perfect? Emily realized she was looking a little too intensely at Sarah’s mouth. She looked down at the ground in an attempt to hide her blush and the grin she was trying to suppress. When she looked up at Sarah again Emily found herself captured by deep green eyes. She realized that Sarah had said something that Emily, distracted by her own thoughts, hadn’t heard. Sarah continued to talk. 

“As I recall, Lauren told me you’re an art teacher.” She still held onto Emily’s hand as she talked and Emily was surprised that the contact wasn’t making her uncomfortable in the least.

“Yes. I teach in Syracuse now.” She found herself staring again.

Lauren’s voice broke the trace she was in. “Sarah, I need to get going. I have to pick Sean up from his friend’s house.” Sean was Lauren’s ten-year-old son. He had often done odd jobs for Emily’s mother, earning him a few dollars here and there. “Is there anything else you want me to do before I go?” she said to her sister.

“No, I think I am all set here. Thanks so much for helping me set up. I really appreciate it.”  Sarah let go of Emily’s hand so she could give her sister a hug.

“It was so nice to see you, Lauren. Mindy and I are at Dad’s all weekend if you want to stop over,” Emily told her.

Lauren reached over and gave Emily’s shoulder a little squeeze. “Great to see you, too.  Maybe I’ll see you later.” With that she turned and left.

The two women watched her walk away for a moment and then turned back towards each other.   

“So, do you like teaching?” Sarah continued the conversation.

“I love it. I have a steady job and I get to do my own art on the side. It’s a win-win situation.” 

“I can understand that. It is very difficult making a living with just your artwork these days. I do all right, but I wouldn’t mind doing a little better.” Sarah smiled broadly.

“Your work is wonderful,” Emily said, truly impressed with the level of the work.  She broke the intense eye contact to glance once again at the paintings lining the walls of the booth.  “You have quite an eye for beauty,” Emily said as she looked at a watercolor painting of a simple flower that danced in the sunshine. Emily felt like she could reach out and touch the petals and feel their velvety texture with her fingers. A double cream colored mat and a simple gold frame complimented the work perfectly.

“I sure do,” Sarah replied, her eyes never leaving Emily.

Without turning her head, Emily moved her eyes and saw Sarah watching her.  She’s flirting with me. Is she flirting with me? I think she’s flirting with me. Immediately Emily got that familiar nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. Okay, enough of this shit, she told herself. So what if she's flirting with me? I don’t need to get all nervous about it. So what? A beautiful woman is flirting with me. She certainly is beautiful, isn’t she? Emily turned her head fully towards Sarah and smiled despite her thoughts. Or maybe she smiled because of her thoughts.

“Tell me more about your own art,” Sarah’s smile continued. “I would love to hear more about it.”

“Excuse me. Can you tell me the price of this painting?” Neither woman had noticed that an older gentleman had come into the booth.

“I am going to let you get back to work,” Emily said with regret in her voice, realizing that more people had entered the booth to look at the beautiful art. It wasn’t fair of her to take Sarah’s time while she was working, trying to sell her artwork.

Sarah held up a finger to the older man, “I’ll be with you in one second.” Sarah took one of her business cards from the small table at the front of the booth. Handing it to Emily she said, “Please have a drink with me later. It would be fun. My cell number is on my card. I would love to hear more about your art.” Her fingers brushed Emily’s hand as Emily accepted the card.  A small tingle traveled across Emily’s hand.

“Call me after six thirty. I’ll be done here by then,” Sarah said before turning to the man who had asked the question. Emily tucked the card into the front pocket of her jeans. She was flattered by the attention, but doubted she would take Sarah up on the offer. She wondered if it would be rude not to call.

Emily slipped quietly out of the booth and continued on her way around the festival. The next several booths held no interest for her, so she passed by with barely a glance. Several booths down, a charcoal drawing caught her eye. She stepped inside the tent to take a better look. It was a drawing of a nude female. The figure was sitting with her back to the viewer with one hip perched on a stool. The other leg dropped down to the floor at a slight angle. Her hair was dark and the cut came to just below her shoulders. Her body was lean and fit. The outline of her face was barely visible as she turned her head toward the artist drawing her. The woman in the artwork reminded Emily of Andi. Suddenly and unexpectedly an image of Andi kissing someone came to the forefront of Emily’s mind. It caused a confusing pang in her heart. She reached into her pocket and ran her fingers over the business card in her pocket.  She forced her thoughts from Andi to Sarah. Maybe she would call her after all.

*****

What am I doing? Emily asked herself as she put her phone up to her ear. Maybe she won’t answer. I hope she doesn’t answer.  I think…

“Hello,” Sarah answered. 

“Umm, hi.” 

“Emily? Hi. I was hoping you would call.”

“Umm, yeah?” Oh my God, could you sound like more of an idiot? “Hi, yes. Well, I thought maybe I would take you up on that drink offer. I mean if the offer is still good. I know you must be tired and all.”

“Absolutely the offer is still good. How does eight-thirty sound? There is a great place in Pittsford, Rumors. Have you heard of it?” 

“It’s in Schoen Place, right?” Emily asked. 

Emily could hear a muffled sound on the other end of the line as she heard Sarah ask someone else. “It’s in Schoen Place, right?” Emily wasn’t sure but she thought a male voice said, “Yes.”

“Sorry, yes, that’s the place. Is that all right? Should I meet you there or would you like me to pick you up?”

Emily still wasn’t sure what she was doing. She didn’t know if a new friend was asking her to have a drink or if she was being asked out on a date, although she suspected it was the latter. In spite of being nervous about the whole thing, there was something intriguing about it all, too. She had never had a woman ask her out on a date before and was flattered by the attention. She had never been fond of attention from men. Hmm, how come I have never been fond of attention from men? This probably isn’t a date.  I am just making myself crazy. She is just a nice person asking me to have a drink. Emily had the urge to call Andi and talk to her about it. She just wanted to talk to Andi. No, she wasn’t going to call Andi. She was fully capable of making a decision about this on her own.

“Emily?”

“Umm, yes….I’m here.” She had to think back to the question. “Yes, that’s fine. I can meet you there. You said at eight-thirty, right?” Okay, guess I made a decision.

“Eight-thirty, yes. Super. I’ll see you there.” 

Emily shut her cell phone and closed her fist around it. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” she said to herself. Of course I don’t, was her brain’s response. Oh my God, what am I going to wear?

*****

Emily pulled her little car into a parking spot. The street was lined with small shops and restaurants and she felt lucky to find a space in the common parking lot so close to Rumors. She took a deep breath and fought off the feeling of nausea. Stepping out of the car she pulled her wallet from her backpack and threw her backpack on the back seat of her car, slipping the wallet into the rear pocket of her dark denim jeans.

Emily pulled her pink pullover shirt down in the back and straightened the simple gold chain around her neck. Nervously, she ran a hand over her hair to smooth it down.

“Emily.” She turned at the sound of her name. Sarah walked up to her and stopped about a foot and a half away. Her eyes traveled down the length of Emily’s body and back up to her eyes. “You look great,” she said with a smile. She moved closer and gave Emily a hug.

I think this is a date, Emily’s brain screamed. She pushed the panic back down her throat with a hard swallow. Okay, I can handle this. What’s so bad about a date with a beautiful woman? I can handle this. She gave her best smile as they walked in.

“Table for two?” the young hostess asked. 

“We would like to be seated at the bar, if that’s all right.” Sarah looked at Emily. Emily nodded. They were led through the restaurant area and up a short flight of stairs to the bar area in the back.     

“What would you like to drink, Emily?” Sarah asked once they were seated.

“A glass of Chardonnay would be great.” Emily looked directly at Sarah as she answered.

Sarah flagged the tall, dark haired bartender. His quick smile lit up his handsome face. The top two buttons of his neatly pressed white shirt were undone, a hint of soft chest hair visible. His tight jeans easily hugged his rear end. Emily glanced at him briefly then looked past him at the large mirror behind the bar. What she saw and her reaction to it surprised her. She saw herself sitting next to a very beautiful woman, and she thought it looked right.

“Can we get two glasses of Chardonnay…your best,” Sarah said, adding “please”, as an afterthought.

Emily turned her gaze from the mirror to look at Sarah directly, her smile genuine. She decided she was going to enjoy this evening and enjoy the company of this lovely woman. The butterflies in her stomach had settled down for the most part. The wine would take care of any of the little critters that remained.

“So, Emily, tell me about your art.”

Emily liked the way her name sounded when Sarah said it. “Well, I work mostly in oils. I love landscapes, especially early morning or early evening scenes.”

Sarah nodded, and reached for her drink as the bartender set it down. Emily did the same.  “Do you work from photos or plein aire?” Sarah asked, using the French term meaning ‘in the open air’. Sarah sipped her wine, but her eyes never left Emily.

“I take a lot of photos whenever I get the chance. I work mostly from those. I don’t get a chance to paint outside too often so I don’t do much plein aire painting.”

“I can understand that,” Sarah said. She ran her hand through her blond hair. Emily noticed that it had a light curl to it that it didn’t have earlier, that she had changed clothes, and had applied more make up than she wore at the art festival. Her gray slacks were slimming and her dark blue blouse showed a hint of cleavage. She wore no jewelry other than the diamond studs in her pierced ears. 

“I also have my school schedule to work around, and my sister Mindy. She came to live with me recently. So it's just easier to work from photos. But I try to get outside to watch sunrises and sunsets whenever possible, to sort of take mental notes for my art.”

“Very nice. I’ve always had trouble painting landscapes. I stick to flowers and still life because I feel like I have more control over them.”

“So you are a woman that likes to be in control?” Emily asked. Oh my God, why did I say that? I sound like I’m flirting.

“Oh yes,” Sarah raised her eyebrows suggestively as she answered. “The only thing I don’t have control over is my bladder. I think I need to go to the little girl’s room.”

“I’ll wait here,” Emily smiled as she watched Sarah walk away.

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” It was the bartender. “On the house,” he said, setting another glass of wine on the bar in front of Emily. “I don’t mean to be forward here, but I would love to take you out to dinner sometime.” His smile was charming, but Emily had no interest in his offer.

“No, thank you,” she said sweetly, sliding the drink back towards him.

He produced a business card from behind the bar, turned it over, and wrote on it. “My cell number, in case you change your mind.” His smile was sincere as he placed the card in her hand.  “Please, at least accept the drink. No strings attached.” He held up his hands in surrender as he backed away.

Sarah slid back into her seat, and noticed the new drink in front of Emily.  “Starting round two without me?” she half smiled, half smirked.

“A gift from the bartender,” Emily said in her own defense. 

Almost as if on cue he returned with another glass of wine and set it in front of Sarah.  “Also on the house, for the other beautiful lady,” he said with a wink and walked away. 

“Hmmm,” was Sarah’s only comment.  Emily almost laughed out loud, but managed to suppress it, smiling instead.

“He’s right about one thing.” Emily couldn’t believe her own words as they came out of her mouth. “You are beautiful.”

“I was thinking that very same thing about you,” replied Sarah as she raised her glass.

Emily took a long swallow. “So how long have you been painting?”

“Just about all my life. My mother says I was born with a paint brush in my hand,” Sarah said.

“Ouch.” Emily teased. “That must have made it even more painful for your mother.” Sarah laughed out loud.

“I started taking drawing lessons when I was about seven. I guess my parents got tired of the crayon wall murals and decided to try to channel my artistic talents.”

“Did you enjoy the lessons?”

“At first I hated them. I have never been one to play by the rules, and confining my art to just one piece of paper didn’t seem right. But it did give me the basic skills I needed when I decided I wanted to pursue watercolor painting.”

“And why watercolor?” Emily finished her first drink and set the empty glass on the bar.  It only took a few moments for her to reach for her second.

“To me watercolor is just so free and flowing. It has no boundaries unless I decide to put them in. If I am doing a flower for example, one petal can flow right into the next or it can be totally separate. It becomes my choice. Once I learned to control the fluid I learned I could control it all.”

“Are we still talking about painting here?” Emily said with a smile. I can’t believe that just came out of my mouth. Oh my God. Stop it! Stop it! She felt her face turn hot.

“Maybe not. What do you say we finish these and take a walk on the canal?”    

Over Emily’s weak objection, Sarah pulled two bills out of her purse and laid them on the bar to cover their tab. Emily wasn’t at all sure of the proper protocol for such things when on a date with a woman. For that matter, she still wasn’t positive this was a date. So she didn’t press the issue. On the way out, she dropped the bartender’s business card into the trash.

The evening air had a hint of fall, but was still warm enough for a pleasant walk without the need of a coat or sweater. The moon was only a quarter full, but it was showing bright in the sky. It cast a lovely glow over the water and walkway, a short walk across the street from Rumors.

Sarah reached out and took Emily’s hand, entwining their fingers together. Okay, I am thinking definite date here. Emily felt flushed as goose bumps broke out on her arms. Oh damn, this is a date. Okay, what should I do? I’m thinking that throwing up wouldn’t be a good idea. Calm down, calm down. It’s just a date. A date with a woman! I can do this. I can do this. Can I do this? Yes, I can do this.

Emily wasn’t sure if the lightheadedness she felt was due to the wine or the fact that the hand that she held belonged to a female. She wasn’t a big drinker and this was the second night in a row that she had shared wine with a beautiful female. Her thoughts went to Andi and the feelings she had experience from the foot rub, feelings she had pushed down because they had frightened her. I am done being frightened, she told herself. Her mind was still with Andi when Sarah pulled her by the hand, off of the pathway and behind a tree. She gently pushed Emily against the rough bark and leaned into her. When their lips met, Emily told herself again that she was done being afraid. She closed her eyes and accepted the gentle kiss.

“I have wanted to do that all evening,” Sarah said. When Emily didn’t voice any objections, Sarah kissed her again with more pressure, her tongue darting out and delicately licking around the inside of Emily’s lips.

I am kissing a woman, Emily thought, her tongue reaching out and meeting Sarah’s tongue. A flood of sensations ran through her body. Her heart was pounding and blood was coursing into areas that had long lain dormant. Emily reached up and ran her fingers through Sarah’s hair and pulled her face in closer. Emily’s body was taking over, her own thoughts pushed aside.

Her ringing phone jerked her out of the trance and she released Sarah’s hair as their lips parted. Emily realized she was breathing very hard and had some difficulty talking when she looked at Sarah with an apology in her eyes.

“Hello,” she said trying to control the shakiness of her voice into the phone.

“Hi, Emily.” It was Mindy. “Are you gonna be back? Daddy gotta movie, we want you to s..s..see it, too.”

Emily’s mind scrambled for an answer. “Sure, honey. I’ll be there in a little while. Go ahead and start the movie and you and Dad can watch it, and you can catch me up on what I missed.”

“Come now. I do not want you to miss some.”

“I’ll be there soon, okay? I’ll see you in a little while. Bye.” Emily was reluctant to leave, but she knew she had to. This was going much too fast for her and she needed time to think, and figure this all out.

“You’re going to call it a night, huh?” Emily could hear the disappointment in Sarah’s voice.

“I’m so sorry. I had a wonderful time, but yeah, I really should get going.”

“Can I talk you into meeting me at my studio in the morning? I’ll bring breakfast,” Sarah said.

Emily was having trouble resisting the sparkle in her eyes, visible, even in the moonlight.

“Don’t you have to be at the festival in the morning?” Emily asked.

“Lauren is watching my booth until noon, so no, I don’t have to be there in the morning.”  She waited patiently for her answer.

“In that case, I would love to,” Emily replied. Despite the confusion she felt by her body’s reaction to Sarah’s kiss she wanted to see Sarah again.

Sarah leaned in and kissed Emily once more, softly on the lips. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.” She took Emily’s hand and led her back to the parking lot.

“I’ll call you in the morning with directions, if that’s all right.” Sarah reached up as she asked and ran a single finger lightly across Emily’s cheek. Emily gave her a quick nod in answer to her question, feeling the hot trail that the finger left on her face.

“I think we can have some fun,” Sarah said. With that, Sarah turned and walked away. Emily stood for several minutes watching her go. She was shocked at the realization that she was wet from kissing another woman. She had to be well on the way to third base with Brian, her ex-husband, before her body would start to react at all. This certainly was a pleasant change and she decided to see where it would lead.

*****

The movie was half way over by the time Emily walked into the house. Mindy gave her a look of reprimand, but couldn’t pull it off for long before she lapsed into giggles. 

Mindy held the remote high into the air as she pushed the pause button. “Sit down, Emily. I tell you about the movie.”

Without objection, Emily did as she was told. She absentmindedly ran her hand back and forth over the well-worn arm of the chair as Mindy relayed the details of the story. It went on and on and Emily had trouble making sense of what she was saying. Her thoughts drifted back to Sarah.

“…and then the bad guy, that one there,” she said pointing to the man frozen on the television screen, “he put them puppies all in a big cage. Okay, ready, cause that is where we s..s..stopped.  Here we go.” She held the remote high in the air again as she pressed the play button.

Emily was unsuccessful when she tried to focus on the images that flickered by on the television screen. Her mind was on the tree, her back pressed against it, Sarah’s lips pressed to her own.

She couldn’t get her mind to shut down as she lay in bed later that night. When her mind replayed that kiss, the reaction of her body was unmistakable. She felt a surge in her belly and below. She tried to make sense of it all. No matter how many different ways she tried to explain it away or make excuses there was only one conclusion she could come to. She was gay. The simple act of a kiss had been earth shattering for her. It had all seemed so natural and right. In an instant it had changed the way she viewed herself. It opened up a world of possibilities, and the thought made her giddy with excitement. She thought of Sarah and her soft blond hair and her even softer lips. She smiled in the dark.

The good feeling was pushed aside by a questioning voice in her head. Am I some kind of an idiot? I must be. How could I go this long in my life and not know I’m gay? I’m thirty-five frickin' years old, for God’s sake. How could I not have known? Maybe I did know it. Maybe I just wouldn’t admit it to myself. I never really enjoyed sex with men, but I just thought there was something wrong with me. Oh my God, I guess there is something wrong with me. I’m gay. Stop it! Being gay doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. You have known gay people in your life and you never thought there was anything wrong with them. You know Andi and she’s gay and there is nothing wrong with her.  Andi. Andi. Andi was kissing someone. Andi. No. Sarah was kissing me. Sarah, who has soft lips, was kissing me. I need to talk to Mom about this.  

Emily had had lots of moments like this. Her mind would go to her mother, her first thought always to call her, and her world would crash down around her as she realized once again that her mother was dead. This time, the reality that her mother was gone hit her with great force and felt like it knocked the wind out of her. She wouldn’t be talking to her mother about this. She wouldn’t be talking to her about anything again. A tear ran down her cheek, followed by another and another until she was sobbing. 

She had shed her share of tears in the last few months over her mother death, but tonight it hit her especially hard, the permanence of death, the changes of life. Changes she would never be able to share with her mom.

Would her mother have understood and accepted these new revelations about Emily?  Emily thought she would have. 

She remembered how nervous she was when she told her that she was divorcing Brian. Emily had been raised in a church that said divorce was wrong. She was afraid that her mother would adopt that idea and tell Emily that she shouldn’t do it. Instead, her mother had hugged her and told her she loved her.

“God doesn’t want you to be unhappy, baby, and neither do I. You need to do what’s best for you.” She had accepted Emily’s need to get out of that marriage and she would have accepted this too. Emily was sure of it…almost.

She reached over and turned the knob on the small lamp by the bed, got up, and went down the hall to the bathroom to wash her face with cool water. “You are going to look like shit in the morning if you don’t stop crying and get some sleep,” the reflection in the mirror said to her. She pulled one of the small Dixie cups from the holder on the wall, filled it with water and drank.

Returning to her bedroom, she looked around. This had been her bedroom growing up and her parents hadn’t changed it much after she left for college. The pale pink walls had faded over the years and her childhood books were lined up on a small bookcase in the corner, long ago forgotten and more than a little dusty. A single poster was thumb tacked on the wall. It was a poster she had hung up when she was sixteen. She looked at it and laughed out loud. While her friends were putting up posters of guys in rock bands and pictures of Tom Cruise, her poster was of Julia Roberts. I wish I had realized a long time ago that I have a predisposition for “pretty women”. I guess there were a lot of things I didn’t realize, she thought as she sat on the edge of the bed.   

She reached over and turned off the lamp plunging the room into darkness again. She lay back and pushed her head into the pillow. She stared into the darkness, and thought about her life and all of the clues she had missed that held the truth of who she was.

It was another hour before she drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 6

“I’ll pick you up at one,” Emily reminded Mindy as she pulled into the Burton’s driveway on Sunday morning.  Emily watched her sister as she went to the front door and knocked. She waited until Timmy Burton’s mother opened the door. Timmy pushed past his mother and gave Mindy a hug. Timmy, like Mindy, had Down syndrome, and they had attended school together. Emily returned the wave from Timmy’s mother. She continued around the circle driveway and pulled back onto the main road.

The directions to Sarah’s studio were easy enough. It was in a large building off Goodman Street, down the road from the Clothesline Art Festival.  Emily took mostly back roads to get there trying to avoid some of the downtown congestion around the Memorial Art Gallery.

She took a deep breath as she pulled into the mostly empty parking lot. Guess not too many artists work in their studios on Sunday, she thought.

Emily took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. Okay, let’s do this. She pushed the butterflies down, cursing herself for her usual nervousness.

She wasn’t sure she could manage walking up four flights of stairs and still be able to breathe when she reached the top so she opted for the only other choice, an old freight elevator. The large elevator doors were open when she entered the building. She walked in and pulled on the thick canvas strap that hung down from the large metal door. The top half of the door came down to meet the bottom half as it rose up. She pulled on a second canvas strap and a wire door came down with a loud clang. It took a few seconds for the elevator to start moving after she pushed the button with the four nearly worn away. It moved much smoother that Emily thought it would, given its obvious age.

It stopped on the fourth floor and Emily reversed the procedure to open the elevator doors. She stepped out and looked around. The look of the hallway was very different from the dilapidated look of the elevator. Fresh bright blue paint greeted her and to her delight beautifully framed artwork adorned the walls. A small cardboard sign with neat handwritten letters in red marker pointed the way. Studios 4a-4e were located to the left, Studios 4f-4m were to the right.

Emily turned to the right and continued down the hall. She glanced at the artwork as she passed and read the numbers on each closed studio door. She came upon a watercolor painting and immediately recognized the style. It was Sarah’s. The open door to the studio was just ahead on the right and Emily could hear music coming from the room, but she couldn’t make out the song.

Emily took the last few steps to the open door and paused. Damn, she thought. I didn’t even think to bring anything.  Should I have brought flowers or cinnamon toast or something? Maybe I can offer her a kidney. She giggled to herself, her nerves bubbled to the surface again.  

With a slight hesitation Emily knocked. Sarah set a large frame down against the wall as she turned to the sound. Her face lit up with a smile and she walked to Emily with open arms. She pulled her into a quick hug. “Welcome. Come in, come in.”

Emily took a minute to look around, while Sarah closed the door, behind her. The room was large with several large windows reaching from waist height up to the ceiling on one wall. Several pieces of art hung on the eggshell white walls. Emily could tell that other paintings had been removed, the hooks that once held them, still in place. Emily reasoned that the pieces were probably now in Sarah’s booth at the Clothesline show. Tables and easels where set up in various positions to take the best advantage of the sunlight coming in the windows. A loveseat and couch sat facing each other off to one side, a small table in between them.

“This is great.” Emily turned back toward Sarah with a nervous smile, trying to decide if she should mention that she had never dated a woman before. 

Sarah took her hand and led her to the couch. “Come, sit, I got us some bagels and cream cheese. I hope that’s ok.”

Emily sat down, as Sarah walked across the studio, and Emily found her eyes roaming over Sarah’s backside as she walked. Oh my God. Just because you think you’re a lesbian now doesn’t mean you can stare at a woman’s butt, Emily reprimanded herself, but she didn’t take her eyes away until Sarah turned to walk back, a Wegman’s bakery bag in hand. Two bagels, cream cheese and a plastic knife appeared from the bag and Sarah set them on the table.

“I have a fresh pot of coffee, or I have orange juice. Which would you prefer?”

Emily cleared her throat in an attempt to clear away the nerves. “Juice would be great.”

Sarah poured a cup of coffee for herself and poured a glass of juice for Emily. She set the drinks down on the table and sat down next to Emily.

“So how are you?” she asked, rubbing Emily’s knee lightly.

Emily couldn’t help but smile. “I’m doing fine. I had a very nice time last night.”

“Me too.” Sarah removed her hand to spread cream cheese on the bagels, and handed one to Emily.

Emily took a bite. She hadn’t had a fresh Wegman’s bagel since she had moved to Syracuse. Not that they didn’t have Wegman stores, it was just closer to go to the P&C to shop.

“Mmm. That is so good. Thank you.” She licked her lips to get a bit of cream cheese that escaped her mouth.

“My pleasure,” Sarah said. Emily noticed a sultry quality to her voice. Sarah reached across and wiped a small drop of cream cheese from Emily’s lip. “You missed some,” she said, as she brought the finger to her own mouth. 

Emily licked her own lips again as she watched Sarah’s mouth. “Umm, thanks. Would you like a kidney?” Her mouth went suddenly dry.

“What?” Sarah said with a little laugh.

“Oh my God.  I can’t believe I just said that. It was just a little joke, but it sounded so much funnier in my head.”

“I am very interested in your body.” Sarah raised her eyebrows while looking directly at Emily. “But, it isn’t your kidneys I’m after.”

Emily blushed, suddenly embarrassed, not sure how to react. Her body however, knew exactly how to react. It was as if a shock wave traveled through her and settled in her crotch. But that didn’t help her find the words to say.

“I’m sorry,” Sarah said. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”  She reached out and gently rubbed Emily’s knee again.

“No, it’s okay.” Now Emily felt foolish. 

“Are you going back to Syracuse tonight?” Sarah said, changing the direction of the conversation.

“Yes.” Emily was grateful for the change. “I have to be back at work in the morning. We’ll be leaving after an early dinner with my father.”

“Would it be okay if I called you sometime?”

“I would be disappointed if you didn’t.”

“What would you think if I came to visit? I was thinking maybe on Friday? I have an art show at the public market in downtown Rochester next Sunday, but have Friday and most of Saturday free.”

“I think I would like that very much,” Emily said. She definitely wanted to get to know this woman better. She felt like the conversations up to this point had been pretty much superficial.  They had talked mostly about art. She would like to know more about the person, not just the artist. 

“So tell me about your job. What kind of classes are you teaching? Painting? Drawing?” The conversation turned back to art. At least the topic was a comfortable one for Emily.

“I teach oil painting, water color, color theory…”  Sarah leaned over without warning and kissed Emily, cutting off her words. She wrapped her arms around Emily and pulled her in close.

Emily barely had enough presences of mind to set her bagel down before running her hands over Sarah’s back. Again Emily’s body responded in a way that surprised and shocked her. When Sarah’s tongue entered her mouth, Emily thought she was going to explode. She wanted more. She wanted Sarah’s hands on her. She wanted to feel what it felt like to be with a woman. She also knew that she couldn’t let that happen. Not now. Not so soon after meeting someone. As turned on as she felt, she didn’t want to make love with someone that she barely knew. She tried to tame her body’s sensations. Oh shit..this isn’t working very well, she thought.

Her hands had a mind of their own and she shocked herself as she brought them to Sarah’s waist and ran them up her sides. Sarah’s hands covered her own and nudged them upwards until Emily’s hands were on her breasts. She could feel Sarah’s nipples harden as her hands ran over the thin material of the blouse and bra that separated her hands from skin. A rush of her own wetness told her just how turned on she was from touching this woman. She wanted to feel skin.  She was sure she wouldn’t be able to control her hands any longer, and she was right. They traveled back down to Sarah’s waist and came up again, this time under Sarah’s shirt. She let out a low moan, directly into Sarah’s mouth, when her hands touched skin, soft skin, smooth skin, Sarah’s skin. 

It’s just her waist.  I am just touching her waist and my fingers feel like they are on fire. What have I been missing all these years? She willed herself to stop, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen anytime soon. Her hands traveled up that warm, hot back and reached behind Sarah for her bra clasp. She unhooked it in one quick move. Her fingertip’s swept around to the front and reached up under the now loose bra and cupped Sarah’s firm breasts in her hands.

It was Sarah’s turn to moan, and she tipped her head backwards as the sound escaped her throat.  Emily took the opportunity to kiss Sarah’s long neck. She kissed and licked downward to the hollow that separated her neck from her chest and lingered there. Sarah brought Emily’s face back up and kissed her again. Their tongues tumbled together inside Emily’s mouth and Emily began to feel light headed. Her hands danced over Sarah’s breasts.  Her palms gently rubbed against the tight nipples as her fingers squeezed the soft flesh surrounding them.

Sarah unbutton her own shirt and discarded it on the floor. Her bra quickly followed.

Sarah pulled Emily’s tee shirt from her waistband and pulled it up, leaving it gathered at Emily’s neck. Sarah wasted no time unhooking Emily’s bra and pushing that up as well. Sarah pushed Emily back on the couch and in one quick motion was on top of her, never breaking the contact of their lips. Emily could feel Sarah’s firm, round breasts covering her own. She delighted in the feeling. No wonder Andi likes…her thoughts flashed to Andi and someone kissing Andi in the front seat of that car yesterday morning. Her breath caught in her throat. She needed to stop.  She needed to breathe.

“We need to slow down,” she managed to say as she broke the kiss.

“Okay. Whatever you want,” Sarah said with difficulty. She slowed the roaming of her hands on Emily’s breasts, and brought her mouth back to Emily’s and kissed her again, this time with less urgency and more tenderness.

Emily pulled her head back. “No, I mean we have to stop. We need to slow down on everything. This is going way too fast for me. I’m sorry.” Emily knew she was just as responsible for letting it get this far as Sarah was, maybe more so. The last thing she wanted to be was a cock tease. Or would it be a pussy tease?  Not funny! She told herself.

“I’m sorry,” Emily repeated.

Sarah sat up. “No, no, don’t apologize. I'm the one who’s sorry. You are just so beautiful that I got carried away. We can go as slow as you want to.”  Sarah picked up her shirt and slipped it over her shoulders and buttoned it, her bra still on the floor where it was dropped.

Emily remained lying back on the couch for several seconds trying to get her thoughts together before sitting up. It took her another few moments to realize that her shirt was still up around her neck and her bra was hanging loose. In quick succession she hooked her bra and pulled down her shirt. Avoiding eye contact with Sarah she could feel the heat seeping into her face, embarrassed by her own actions. 

“It’s all right. Really.” Sarah smiled and reached over and took Emily’s hand in her own.  “Really,” she repeated.  “Let’s finish breakfast.” She handed Emily her bagel, then picked up her own and took a bite, her eyes never leaving Emily.

Emily took a swallow of her orange juice and waited until her heart rate slowed before she allowed herself to make eye contact, and bit into her bagel. They finished eating, making light conversation. The topic didn’t stray far from superficial.

“I’ll call you in a few days if that’s still all right,” Sarah said as she walked Emily to the door a little while later.

“Yes, please call,” Emily smiled. She gave Sarah a quick kiss on the cheek and left the studio.

Emily walked past the elevator choosing the stairs instead in an attempt to work off some of the extra energy she felt coursing through her.  

After unlocking the doors, she slid into the driver’s seat of her car, leaned her head against the head rest and closed her eyes. Wow.  I can’t believe that happened. I can’t believe how it made me feel. Wow, wow, wow. She put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street, and drove around aimlessly for about an hour before heading the car in the direction of her father’s house.

*****

“So, how are you doing, Dad?” Emily asked as she passed him the salad at dinner later that day.

“I’m not great, but I’m doing better every day. I have thirty-five days under my belt with AA.” He gave her a tired smile.

“That’s great, Dad,” Emily said.

“What is AA?” Mindy asked. “Is it like when your c..c..car breaks down?”

Emily couldn’t help but smile. “No sweetie, that’s triple A. Remember we talked about Daddy having some problems being sad?” She looked at her father and he nodded for her to continue. “He was drinking a little too much beer and stuff like that and it wasn’t good for him.  AA is like a club that helps him get better.”

“You feel better, Daddy?” Mindy said between bites of food.

“I sure do, Kiddo. But I miss you guys.”

“We will visit you lots so you don’t have to m..m..miss us too much. Okay, Daddy?” She got up and hugged him. “Don’t be sad.”

“Thanks, baby. Now go eat the rest of your dinner.” Mindy released his neck and trotted back to her seat.

“I’m sorry, Dad. You know I never would have taken a job so far away if I had known what was going to happen to Mom. I just needed a change after everything with Brian.” Guilt crept into Emily’s voice.

“I know.  It was a good change for you. I’m glad you did it. But that doesn’t mean I can’t miss ya.” He winked at her. His eyes looked clearer than they did a couple of months ago. He even shaved, before he and Mindy went to church that morning.

“You also might be interested to know that I’ve taken care of all the paperwork from the funeral home, insurance policies and everything else. Well, most of it. There is just so much of it to do. I’ll tell ya, it has been quite a chore, but I am proud to say it’s just about done.” His smile was genuine. “Your mother would have died if she knew it cost a hundred and fifty dollars to do her hair for the funeral.” Emily knew it was a good sign that he was making light of it.

“Holy c..c..cow,”  Mindy said. “A hundred and fifty d..d..dollars? When I have a funeral, somebody better just bring a brush to brush my hair.” Everyone laughed.

“That won’t be for a long, long time, Kiddo.” 

“Okay, Daddy. Do I have to eat these b..b..beans? They are all mushy.” Mindy made a face while pointing to her plate.

“They’re supposed to be mushy, they’re baked beans. But no you don’t have to eat them if you don’t like ‘em. It won’t hurt my feeling none, even though I did spend all of three minutes opening the can and heating them up. But that’s okay. Don’t eat ‘em if ya don’t like ‘em,” he teased.

“Oh, Daddy, you are funny.”

Chapter 7

Emily had trouble getting through the first three periods at school Monday morning. She felt nervous and anxious and excited all at the same time. The message she  left on Andi’s voice mail said to meet her in the art room at lunch time. She wanted so badly to talk to her, but decided not to ask Andi about the kiss that she witnessed in the parking lot on Saturday. She decided not to think about it at all.  It was time to concentrate on her own life and what was happening. Emily hadn’t told anyone about her self-revelation and she wanted…needed to talk to someone and her first choice, maybe her only choice, was Andi.

The door was closed and Andi knocked once and let herself in. “What’s up?” she asked Emily as she entered the room. “You sounded a little weird on the phone. Is everything all right?” She shut the door behind her. 

Emily looked up from her desk but didn’t say anything.  She wasn’t sure how to start.  Andi waited. When Emily still didn’t say anything, Andi walked to the closest table and sat down on it across from Emily. “So? Are you going to talk to me? I’m starting to get a little worried here. Em?”

Emily got up, came around to the front of the desk and leaned against it, directly in front of Andi. Her eyes remained focused on the floor for several long moments. She lifted her head and looked into Andi’s deep brown eyes then down at the floor again.

Emily spoke in hushed tones even though the door was closed. “I think I’m gay,” she said meeting Andi’s eyes.

Andi paused before speaking. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

Andi swallowed hard. She took Emily’s hand and started to speak. “Emily, I…”

“I met someone,” Emily interrupted her. She waited for Andi’s response. When she didn’t get one, she went on. “Well, what do you think? Tell me what you are thinking.”

A look of disappointment crossed Andi’s face but it disappeared as quickly as it came. She smiled but the smile never quite reached her eyes. “Who is she? Where did you meet her?”

Emily thought about it for a second. She realized that she didn’t have a whole lot to tell because she didn’t know that much about Sarah. “She’s an artist and I met her at an art festival in Rochester this past weekend. She’s blond and pretty and her sister lives across the street from my dad.”

“That’s great.” Andi’s eyes lacked their usual sparkle. Emily didn’t notice. “An artist, huh?  So you have something in common.”

“Yeah.”

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“No, I didn’t sleep with her, but we did kiss and it was…well...it was surprising and it was wonderful.” 

“Thanks for sharing, but that wasn’t going to be my question. I was going to ask you how come all of a sudden you are interested in women?  In this woman?”

“I’m not sure. I guess I’ve had feelings for women all my life, but never let myself realize what it all meant. I don’t think I ever allowed it to be a possibility in my mind before. I met Sarah at the festival and she asked me out. Well, I wasn’t sure if she was asking me out, or just to have a drink with her as a friend. Anyway I went and she kissed me. Andi, I have never had my body react like that before.  I have never…I mean it was just a kiss…and my body, I mean my whole body…”  Emily blushed and ran her hands up and down the legs of her jeans as she tried to explain.

“I know what you mean,” Andi said. “I know how it feels when that happens, especially if the only experience you’ve had up to this point is with the wrong gender.”

“Yes, I knew if anyone would understand, it would be you.” 

“So you really like this woman,” Andi asked. The looked of disappointment clouded her face again.

“Yes. I mean I like what I know so far. She seems nice. I don’t really know a lot about her, but I want to get to know her better. She may come to visit this weekend.” 

“I am very happy for you, Emily. You deserve the best.” Emily hugged her tightly.

“So she’s coming this weekend, huh?” Andi wiped a tear from her eyes before she pulled back from the hug. She sat on the edge of the art table again.

“Yes, I think so. Do you want to meet her?”

“Sure, at some point, but why don’t you take this weekend for yourselves. I can take Mindy if you want me to. I have to help my friend, Taylor, with a few things right after work on Friday, but I can pick Mindy up after that.” Andi’s voice cracked the slightest bit. She cleared her throat to hide it.

“Wow. That would be great. You wouldn’t mind? Are you sure?” Emily sounded giddy.

“No problem at all. I love that kid, you know. She and I can go to the movies and eat popcorn till we’re sick.” Emily gave her a look that spoke volumes. “Okay, maybe that last part isn’t a good idea. How about I take her to a movie and buy her a little popcorn?”

“You’re the best,” Emily told her. 

“I know. Now tell me about the rest of your weekend. How’s your dad doing?”

Chapter 8

It seemed to take forever for the week to progress to Friday. But it finally arrived. Sarah was coming for a visit and was expected to arrive at Emily’s house by about seven o’clock that evening. Andi said she would pick Mindy up at six. Emily was excited and nervous. She wanted to take this weekend to get to know Sarah better. She decided that she would sleep in Mindy’s room and give her room to Sarah. She didn’t want anything to get out of hand. She waited this long to figure out she was gay. She could wait a little longer to make love with a woman. She wanted to be in love or at least in strong like before she did.

Emily turned her key in the front door lock and went in. Mindy was already home and packing an overnight bag. Emily could hear her singing in her room.

“Do you have your tooth brush packed?” Emily asked, leaning against the door jamb of Mindy’s room.

“Yes.” She flashed a look of annoyance at Emily.

Emily ignored the look. “How about clean underwear?”

“Umm, I was just getting that.” Mindy opened her dresser drawer and pawed through her underwear until she came upon her purple pair. She unzipped the canvas duffel bag and stuffed the underwear in and zipped the bag closed again. 

“How about clean socks?”

Mindy walked back to her dresser and pulled out a pair of pink socks and added them to the duffel bag.

“How about pajamas?” Mindy gave her that look again.

“Of course I have my p..p...pajamas. I not a little kid you know.” She picked up the duffel bag and grabbed her Dora the Explorer pillow from the bed. Mindy pushed passed Emily to wait for Andi in the living room, setting her stuff down on the couch.

Emily followed her into the room and handed her two twenty-dollar bills. “Use this to pay for the movie and popcorn. Tell Andi it’s your treat.”

Mindy looked confused. “My tweet?”

Emily couldn’t help but laugh. “You say, ‘It’s my treat’. Never mind. Just tell Andi that you are paying for the movie and popcorn. Okay?”

“Okay. Can I keep the change?”

“You can keep the change, but don’t use it to buy candy or anything else at the theater. You can get a small popcorn and a soda, and let Andi get anything she wants.”

“How come she gets anything s..s..she wants and I only can get small popcorn and soda?”

“Mindy,” Emily tried to say it sternly but it came out a little weak. “Just do what I ask you, okay? Promise?”

“Okay, okay, okay, I p..promise. Get off my case.”  Mindy tried to sound stern too, but she giggled.

The doorbell rang. “Andi!” Mindy yelled as she ran to the door. She shook hands with Andi politely before giving her a big hug.

“How ya doing, sweetie? Ready for a girl’s night out?” 

“Yeah. We gonna do a girl’s night out.” Mindy was happy to be spending time with her “best friend”.

“I have to get my s..s..suitcase.”  Mindy ran back into the living room, followed closely by Andi.

“Hey, hot stuff. Are you ready for your evening?” Andi said when she saw Emily.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” She smiled and leaned in to give Andi a hug.

“Need any advice?” Andi whispered into her ear. Her breath was warm on Emily’s skin and the warmth traveled down Emily’s spine.

“Nothing is going to happen,” Emily whispered back. She pulled back and looked directly at Andi. “Nothing is going to happen,” she repeated. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince her friend or herself.

“Okay,” Andi said to Emily. She turned to Mindy. “Are you ready?”

Mindy held tight to her duffel bag and pillow. “Yep.”

“Okay, tell your sister good-bye and let’s get going.” Mindy gave Emily a hug and linked her arm in Andi’s. At the door Andi handed her the keys. “Press this button right here,” Andi said, pointing to the button with a little picture of a key on it, “and it will unlock the doors. Put your stuff in the back seat, and I’ll be out in a second.”

Once Mindy left, Andi turned her attention back to Emily. “Are you all set? Are you all right?” She rubbed Emily’s arm as she spoke.

“I am so nervous, but I’m okay. Everything will be fine. Thank you so much. I mean that. Thank you.” She gave Andi a kiss on the cheek.

“Call me if you need anything.” 

“Like what?”

“I don’t know…anything.”

“Thanks.”

“You got it. Have a wonderful evening. I’ll see you sometime late tomorrow afternoon.” Andi closed the door behind her as she left.

Emily leaned her head against the closed door. I hope I’m doing the right thing here, she thought to herself. She wondered why all of a sudden she had doubts. Doubts or not, she had company coming in an hour and she wanted to be ready. 

She thought about what still needed to be done. The house was clean, the wine was chilling, and dinner was put together. She would put it in the oven after Sarah arrived. She was ready.  What am I ready for? Am I jumping into this too fast? Am I ready for this relationship? Is it a relationship? No, it’s too early for that. But it could be.  I guess I’m ready to find out where this leads me. I think.

Emily decided to change out of the clothes she had worn to work and put on something a little more casual. She chose a pair of black jeans and deep coral cotton pull over shirt. Barefooted she trotted to the bathroom, she washed her face, brushed her hair and brushed her teeth. After applying a thin layer of makeup foundation, mascara and blush she nodded her approval in the mirror.

*****

Emily checked the wall clock for the fifteenth time. She brushed her teeth again, straightened the couch cushions, adjusted a picture on the wall, and was running out of things to fuss with.  At seven fifteen she heard a knock on the door and jumped.

Calm down, calm down, calm down. Okay, I’m calm.

“Hello.” Emily said as she opened the door to Sarah. “Welcome to my humble abode.”

“Hi,” Sarah said. She stepped back and looked Emily up and down. “You look great.”

“So do you,” Emily said, looking directly at her eyes. “Come on in.” 

Sarah looked around as she entered. “Very nice place.” She looked casually elegant in a cream colored satin blouse neatly tucked into navy blue dress pants.

“Thanks. I like it. Sit down and I’ll go get us some wine and put supper in the oven. We can eat in about an hour.” Emily went into the kitchen as Sarah made herself comfortable on the couch. She slipped off her high-heeled shoes and set them off to the side.

Emily found the corkscrew in the drawer and after several failed attempts, she got the cork out of the wine bottle, breaking the cork into several pieces. She poured the wine into two glasses and used her fingers to remove the small pieces of cork that floated on top. 

Reaching into the oven Emily pulled out the plate of cheese and bacon appetizers, replaced it with a pan of stuffed shells and reset the oven from warm to four hundred degrees. She set the timer for forty-five minutes.  With one hand she picked up the plate of food and with the other she carefully picked up the two glasses of wine, holding the stems of the glasses between her fingers. She walked carefully back to the living room, trying not to spill anything.

“Let me help you.” Sarah got up and took both glasses of wine.

Emily set the plate of appetizers down on the coffee table and accepted her glass of wine back from Sarah. 

“Cheers,” Sarah said, tapping her glass gently against Emily’s. 

Emily sipped her wine while looking at Sarah over the rim of her glass, still feeling anxious. It’s just because I haven’t eaten since lunch, Emily told herself. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling a little sick. No. It’s not an empty stomach. When am I going to realize that anything new makes me nervous? And this is definitely something new.

Emily reached for the plate in front of her and offered Sarah an appetizer. Sarah took one and began nibbling on it. Emily took two and ate the first one in two bites, before starting on the next.  See, that didn’t help my stomach any. Maybe more wine would help.

Emily took several large sips of her wine while Sarah asked her about the artwork on the walls.

“Yes, it’s mine,” she answered in response to Sarah’s question. “The art in the kitchen and hallway are the work of other artists I admire. Some I bought myself, but most were gifts. But, the ones in here are mine.”

“Very nice. I like how you use light in your pieces. I can feel the exact time of day in each landscape.”

“Thank you,” Emily said. “So you have an art show on Sunday?”

“Yes. It’s at the public market in Rochester. I am really hoping for nice weather. Last year was so cold.” Sarah helped herself to another cheese wrap and set her wine glass down on a coaster on the coffee table.

“Would you like more wine?” Emily asked her.

“Not right now. I still have some left. I think I’ll have another glass with dinner.”

“It should be ready soon.” Emily finished her own wine before setting the glass down.

“I know you said you want to go slow, but I was wondering if it would be all right if I kissed you.” Sarah said.

Emily nodded shyly. Without another word, Sarah kissed her. Emily closed her eyes as their lips met. It was soft and slow and easy. Easy. It was so easy to kiss Sarah, too easy. The kiss deepened. Sarah pulled Emily in closer and Emily could feel Sarah’s soft breasts pushing against her own. When Sarah’s tongue entered her mouth, she melted.

Emily wasn’t sure who started it this time, but before she knew what was happening, both women had shed their shirts. Emily found herself on her back with Sarah on top of her. Sarah’s mouth moved down from Emily’s lips to her neck. They traveled farther down to Emily’s breasts and Emily let out a loud moan as warm lips circled her nipple.   

This is the way it’s supposed to be, Emily thought to herself.

Sarah’s mouth paused briefly as she whispered, “We can do whatever you’re comfortable with.  I won’t push you. I just enjoy being with a woman so much more than sex with my husband.”

What? That’s not the way it’s supposed to be. Emily wasn’t sure she had heard Sarah correctly. “What? Your husband?”

Sarah’s tongue traveled up Emily’s neck and stopped at her chin. “Yeah. I prefer sleeping with women. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and sex with him is great, but it’s so much better with a woman. You know? Soft and everything.”

In one quick move Emily extracted herself from under Sarah and stood on the side of the couch looking down at her. “You’re married?” 

“Yes. I thought you knew that.”

“And just how would I have known that?” Emily was trying to keep the tears from spilling out of her eyes.

“You know my sister, so I guess I just assumed that you knew I was married.” She sat up on the couch. “My husband is the one that recommended that you and I go to Rumors last week.”

“You’re married, and your husband knows you do this? He knows about me?” Emily was bewildered and hurt.

Sarah reached for Emily’s hand. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to deceive you. I like you and thought we could have some fun together.”

“So this is just for fun?” Emily pulled her hand away and waved it through the air.

“I thought you knew that.”

“I never would have…I’m not that kind of gir…no, I didn’t know this was just for fun.”

“Emily.” Sarah looked truly stunned. 

Emily grabbed her shirt off of the floor and pulled it roughly over her head. “I’m thinking that you should probably go.” Emily couldn’t stop the tears that spilled from her eyes.

“Emily.” Sarah repeated.

“Please.” Emily needed to be alone. She needed this woman to leave.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” 

“Please leave.” Emily didn’t try to hide the hurt in her voice.

Sarah gathered her clothes from the floor. She put on her bra and held her shirt in her hand as she said once again to Emily, “I never meant to hurt you.”

Emily didn’t respond.

Sarah picked her shoes up from the floor and walked to the door. She turned once to say something to Emily, but Emily’s back was to Sarah and she could tell she was crying. Sarah quietly pulled her shirt on and shut the door as she left the house, her shoes still in her hand.

Emily heard the door close and slumped down on the couch. “I am so stupid.” She hit the palm of her hand against her forehead with each word. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

The tears began to flow in earnest. Emily brushed them away with a sudden realization. She was hurt but in truth she barely knew the woman that had just walked out that door. Apparently Emily knew even less about her than she previously thought. She was crying over the loss of a fantasy not the loss of Sarah. I guess that still makes me pretty stupid. Okay, so I lost someone I didn’t really have, and didn’t really know. Now what? Well, I won’t be jumping into anything else so fast, like an idiot. That’s for damn sure.

Emily had let her body get in the way of her head and her heart. She let long overdue physical feelings dictate her actions. She tried to skip steps and jump ahead to make up for lost time. She had allowed Sarah to touch her, to kiss her. No, allowed wasn’t the right word. That made it sound like Sarah had manipulated her. Emily had been a very willing participant in everything that transpired. She was as much to blame as Sarah. Maybe more so. She roughly wiped away the final tears from her face. Emily was angrier at herself than at Sarah.

Okay, so what are you going to do now? She asked herself. I’m not going to fall for the next pretty face that comes along, that’s for sure. Maybe I won’t even look at another pretty face.  But, Emily knew that wasn’t true. She knew that she wanted to fall for a pretty face. She wasn’t going to settle on the next one or maybe the one after that. She was going to look around and find the right pretty face. Yes, she would keep looking. She would find the woman that was meant for her. My first question is going to be about marital status. In fact, I am going to start every conversation that way. So, pretty lady, are you married? How about a boyfriend or girlfriend or friend with benefits? I don’t want someone unless they are free to love me…and only me.
Emily was startled out of her thoughts by the buzz from the timer on the stove. “I guess that means that dinner is ready,” she said sarcastically to herself. 

Standing up she grabbed her wine glass and walked into the kitchen to turn off the timer and oven. She poured herself another glass of wine before taking the stuffed shells out of the oven with an oversized potholder. Her first instinct was to dump the whole pan, food and all into the sink.  Very poetic, she thought, but not very practical. That would be a waste of perfectly good food.  Instead she set the pan down on the top of the stove to cool. Emily left the kitchen with her glass of wine and what was left in the bottle and went into her bedroom to think...and finish off the wine.

Chapter 9

“So? Spill it. How did it go?” Andi’s voice betrayed the fact that she really didn’t want to know. “How come you’re here early?”

“Not so good,” Emily managed a half smile as she continued.  “Turns out she’s married.”

“Married as in married married? As in she has a husband somewhere married? Or married as in she is getting a divorce married?” Andi sounded surprised.

“Married as in she has a husband somewhere married. I’m assuming in Rochester.”

“Holy shit. I am so sorry. How did you find out?”

“She said it. She just said it, like it was nothing. There we are with our shirts off, touching and kissing…” Emily blushed as she realized what she said. She hesitated.  “…Anyway, she just mentions her husband, like it was nothing.”

“I’m so sorry, Em.” Andi sat down at the table, her cup of coffee turning cold. “At the risk of repeating myself, holy shit.” Andi sipped the cooled liquid. “How are you doing? Are you okay? So you had your shirt off, huh?”

“I can’t believe I said that,” Emily grimaced. “I am doing okay. I did a lot of thinking last night. I could kick myself for getting so carried away with Sarah so fast. You know this gay thing is so new to me. I think that I jumped in too fast. I was so anxious to get my lesbian life started that I did it all wrong. I know now that what I need to do is play the field, date a bunch of different women. See what’s out there in the world. So I signed up for speed dating online last night.”

“You what?” Andi stared at her with a shocked look she didn’t try to hide.

“I signed up for speed dating…lesbian speed dating. It’s in a little less than two weeks from now. I found the information online last night. I found a bunch of match-making sites and personal ads too.  I never knew about all this stuff. There is a whole lesbian world out there and I want to explore it. You should try the speed dating, too.”

“No, that’s all right, I think I’ll pass.” 

“Why? Come on…do it with me.” Emily didn’t realize how that sounded until Andi burst out laughing.

“Come here, baby, I’ll do it with you,” Andi teased.

“That didn’t come out quite right.” Emily put her hands over her face and shook her head.  She tried to suppress the laughter, but it bubbled up anyway.

“So, enough about me. Tell me who that woman was that you were kissing in the car last weekend.” There it was. There was the question that had been nagging at Emily for a week. She had told herself that she really didn’t care, but here she was asking the question that she told herself she wouldn’t ask. Emily was as surprised by what she just asked as Andi was.

“How did you know about that?”

“Mindy and I stopped at the store for snacks and I saw you.” Her voice betrayed the hurt feeling she still felt, but didn’t understand. She was suddenly feeling sick to her stomach waiting for the answer, an answer she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear. “I’m sorry. Don’t answer. It’s none of my business who you’re seeing.”

“Emily, I’m not seeing anyone. I would tell you if I was. What you saw was my ex-girlfriend Janice kissing me without warning. A kiss I didn’t return, by the way, and that I didn’t want. If you had stuck around for another thirty seconds you would've seen me push her away.” Andi sounded angry, which only added to all of the confusion that Emily had been feeling over the incident.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” Emily said feeling foolish.

“Why wouldn’t I tell you? I was going to tell you anyway, but you were so excited about everything that was happening in your life that I figured it could wait.”

“So you’re not seeing her again?” Emily looked at the floor. She didn’t know why it mattered to her, and she didn’t know why Andi seemed angry. 

“No, I’m not.” Now it was Andi’s turn to be confused. “Why are you getting upset about this?  I would have told you if I was seeing someone.” Andi stood up and walked the few steps to Emily. She pulled her into a tight hug. Emily didn’t know why tears spilled from her eyes.

“I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I think I’m just overtired.” The tears continued to fall as Andi held her. It felt good to be so close to Andi. “I am getting your shoulder all wet.”

“That’s fine, as long as it’s only tears. Just don’t wipe your nose on me. I have this thing against snot,” Andi said.

“Then you better hand me a napkin,” Emily said, as she pulled back. “Because my nose is starting to run.”

Andi pulled a piece of paper towel off of the roll and handed it to her. Emily wiped her eyes with it before loudly blowing her nose.

“Are you okay? I’m getting a little worried about you.” Andi said wrapping and arm around her shoulder.

Emily was embarrassed now. “I’m just tired. I’m sorry for being such an idiot.” 

Andi rubbed Emily’s shoulder and back. She said in her best southern accent, “You may be stupid, but you ain’t no idiot.” 

“Jerk.” Andi could hear the smile in Emily’s voice now. Emily leaned her head on Andi’s shoulder. “Thank you for being here for me.”

“I’ll always be here for you,” Andi answered.

“Thank you for being my friend.”

“Friend,” Andi whispered, under her breath.

“Take me out.”

Andi stood up straighter and released her arm from around Emily’s shoulder. “What?” She was looking directly at Emily now.

“Take me out,” Emily repeated. “To a lesbian bar or a gay bar or whatever it’s called.”

“You mean on a d…”  Andi’s question was interrupted by Emily’s excited words.

“I want to meet women. Gay women. Lesbian women and I am thinking there may be one or two at a lesbian bar. Come on, let’s do it. Let’s go.”

“I don’t think any of them are open right now.” Andi scrunched up her face at Emily. Emily couldn’t quite read her expression.

“I know they aren’t open now, I meant later. Are they open tonight? I mean I’m assuming they’re open Saturday nights like regular bars, right? See, I don’t know anything about this stuff.  But I want to find out.”

“Yes, they’re open.”

“Ok, it’s settled then. We’re going.”

“What about Mindy?”

“I am not taking my little sister to a lesbian bar.” Emily swatted Andi.

“No, I mean if you and I are out at a bar tonight where is Mindy going to be?”                                     
“Mindy can stay by herself. She doesn’t need someone with her constantly. I wouldn’t want to leave her overnight, but she’ll be fine for a few hours.”

 Andi began to nervously tap her fingers on the counter behind them. Emily didn’t seem to notice. “Okay she can stay here tonight…maybe I’ll stay with her.”

“Oh no, you won’t. You’re coming with me, and I will bring Mindy home in a little while. That way I can pick out something nice to wear and she’ll be home tonight and can go to bed when she wants to. What should I wear tonight? What do the other women usually wear?”

“Flannel.”

“Huh?” Emily asked. “Like pajamas?”

“No, more like hunting shirts. Every woman that goes to a lesbian bar has to wear a checkered flannel hunting shirt.” Andi didn’t crack a smile.

Emily swatted at her again. “You are such a liar.”

“I was joking. I’m such a joker.” This time Andi did force a smile.

“Okay, I’m going to go wake Mindy up and we are going to get out of your hair.”

“Would you like breakfast before you go?”

Emily thought about it for a second before answering. “No, you’ve done enough for us.  I appreciated the offer, but we’ll get something to eat at home.” She turned and hugged Andi. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.

Andi didn’t say anything. She just stood in her kitchen hugging Emily back.

“I’ll go get Mindy,” Emily said as she dropped her arms from Andi.

*****

Andi pulled into Emily’s driveway at eight o’clock that evening. She rang the bell and waited. The door opened slowly and standing in front of Andi was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.  She cleared her throat before speaking. “Um, yeah, hi, I’m here to pick up my friend Emily. Is she here? Have you seen her?” She pretended to look beyond Emily.

“Jerk,” Emily said, grabbing Andi playfully by the collar and pulling her inside.

Emily was dressed in a tight black strapless dress that dipped down at the neckline just enough to show a tease of cleavage without showing too much. A wide strip of shimmering gold material circled Emily’s waist.  It had a slimming effect and at the same time showed off the curve of Emily’s hips. A gold chain around her neck with a delicate teardrop diamond and a pair of black pumps with the slightest bit of a heel finished the outfit perfectly.

“Wow, Emily. You look gorgeous.”

“Thank you. I just need to go put a little make up on before we go.”

“You don’t need any. Really. You look great just like you are.”

“Well, I am going to put some on anyway. Come on in and make yourself comfortable. I will only be a few minutes. You look pretty darn cute yourself, you know.”

Andi was dressed in a white, long sleeve button down shirt with French cuffs. She had a thin brown leather belt looped around her waist and her shirt tucked neatly into black chinos. She wore casual black loafers on her feet.

Emily left for her bathroom, and true to her word, she returned after only a few minutes with a fresh application of   foundation, a little mascara, blush and a hint of lipstick. She found Andi and Mindy in the living room deep in discussion about I Love Lucy.  “And I pray for them every n..n..night.” Mindy was saying. “God bless, Lucy and Ricky and Fred and Ethel. I love them. Lucy is my best friend.”

Andi smiled at the remark. She looked up as Emily entered the room. She cleared her throat before speaking. “You do look really nice. Now go get your flannel shirt on so you don’t freeze and we’ll get going.”

Emily gave a throaty laugh. “I’m afraid my flannel shirt is at the dry cleaners. She held up the black wrap she had in her hands. I guess this will have to do.” She brought it around her back and up to her shoulders, struggling to fix one side that had become twisted. Andi was on her feet in seconds and behind Emily.

“Here, let me help you,” she said untwisting the material in a single turn before gently draping it over Emily’s shoulders and smoothing it out with her hands. Andi pressed her mouth against Emily’s ear and whispered, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Emily turned, her face only inches away from Andi’s. A pink flush was creeping up her face from the effect of Andi’s warm breath on her ear.

“Hey!” Mindy said loudly, startling both women. “You look bea-u-ti-ful, Emily.”

The blush in Emily’s cheeks was now complete and a soft shade of red. “Thanks, honey,” Emily said to her little sister. “Anything you need before we go?”

Mindy shook her head from side to side.

“Then I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Okay? And don’t stay up too late.” Emily gave her little sister a squeeze before turning to Andi. “Ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

*****

Andi had no trouble finding a parking spot in the large lot. She turned and looked at Emily before sliding out of her Toyota Camry. She walked a step behind Emily as they entered the bar.

Music thumped through air in the dimly lit room. Andi bumped into Emily when she stopped suddenly to let her eyes adjust. Small tables lined the wall next to the dance floor. A wraparound bar off to the left was circled by tall bar chairs. Three female bartenders served drinks from the opened center, glasses hanging overhead from wooden racks. About half of the seats around the bar were filled with women, the rest were empty. A raised area off to the left of the bar contained larger tables with four chairs at each table. A small lamp hung down over each table casting a soft pool of light.  A room beyond the dance floor held three pool tables and a few more small tables and chairs.

“Where do you want to sit?” Andi said loudly into Emily’s ear so she could be heard above the music. 

“How about we sit at the tables there,” Emily said indicating the raised area. Andi nodded and gently led Emily up the three steps holding onto her arm. Andi pulled a chair out for Emily before sitting in a chair opposite her.

A waitress was at the table within minutes to take drink orders. “I’ll have a Seven and Seven,” Emily said. Andi ordered a Coors light from the tap. They sat in silence as Emily looked around taking in the sight before her. She was feeling a bit overwhelmed, but not nervous at all, not as long as Andi was with her.

The drinks arrived and Emily took a long swig. She held onto the glass even as she set it down on the small paper coaster. She absently ran a finger up and down the side of her glass catching the drips of condensation. 

On the dance floor couples slow danced to a song that Emily didn’t recognize. Some of the dancers held each other with space between their bodies as they moved.  Most of the women, however, were wrapped around each other, pressed together tightly as they danced and swayed. Emily noticed one couple who weren’t dancing at all. A shorter, blond woman had her back pressed up against the wall while her partner pressed into her. Their mouths crushed together as the blond moved her hands over the taller woman’s back. Emily could see even in the dim light that the woman against the wall was squirming against the leg that her partner pushed between her thighs. The sight made Emily’s heart beat a little fast and she felt a small charge run through her.

“How ya doing?” Andi asked her.

She looked over at Andi and smiled. “Wow. I have never experienced anything like this before. This is great.” Her attention turned back to the variety of woman in the room, her eyes scanned the women sitting at the bar. Pairs of woman sat drinking and talking. Some exchanged kisses and caresses as they spoke. A few women sat by themselves nursing drinks.  Emily watched with fascination as an attractive redhead approached a dark haired woman who was sitting alone at the bar. It appeared that the redhead was asking the brunette to dance. The brunette swallowed the last of her drink and followed the first woman out on the dance floor. A slow song was just ending as a faster song took its place. The women didn’t miss a beat and moved in rhythm to the music. Emily’s eyes kept returning to them as they moved their bodies across from each other. As the music died down and a slow song began, the redhead spoke into the brunette’s ear. They stepped into each other’s arms and slow danced. Their bodies held close but without the familiar intimacy that she saw in some of the other dancers.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the Andi’s voice. “Did you want another drink?” She looked at Andi, then at the empty glass in her hand, surprised that she had drained it.  She looked up to see the waitress standing near the table waiting for her response. “Sure,” Emily said, “another Seven and Seven, please.”

“I’m all set,” Andi said holding up her beer. The waitress left and Andi turned her attention once again to Emily. “You were pretty lost in your thoughts there.”

“Sorry.” Emily gave Andi a shy smile. “This is just so new to me. It only reaffirms what I want.”

“Why?” Andi asked. “Is there someone here that you want?” Andi looked around to see who might have caught Emily’s eye.

“No, I mean just the whole thing. Just seeing all these women together, dancing, laughing, kissing… I mean…it just makes me want a woman in my life even more.”

Andi was silent as she sipped her beer watching Emily. 

Emily was almost done with her third drink when Andi asked her if she wanted to play pool.  “Sure,” Emily said as she rose and took the last sip of her drink before setting the glass down on the table. Andi left the last few swallows of her beer in the bottle on the table along with several folded bills and followed Emily. 

“Can I get another drink?” Emily asked as Andi caught up with her.

“Of course,” Andi said following Emily to the bar. Emily leaned closer to the bartender. “Whiskey Sour,” she half yelled to the girl, trying to be heard above the music. “What would you like?” she said turning to Andi.

“Ginger Ale,” Andi yelled back.

Emily pulled a ten-dollar bill from the small pocket hidden in her waistband and laid it on the bar, took both glasses from the bartender and handed the soda to Andi. She pulled the plastic swizzle stick from her drink and licked it before placing it on a napkin on the bar, and followed Andi to the pool tables.

Emily’s ears were ringing as they stepped into the room and away from the direct sound of the music. The room was much quieter with the music in the background and the sound of pool balls smacking together.

Andi set her soda down on a nearby table, pulled several quarters from her pocket, and fed them into the slots on the side of the table. The balls released and Andi arranged them in the triangle that she took down from the hook on the wall. “Eight ball or straight pool?” she asked Emily.

“Nothing straight tonight,” Emily joked.

“Then eight ball it is.”

Emily nodded as she watched Andi rearrange the balls within the triangle.

Andi took Emily's drink as she handed her a cue stick. She took a sip before setting it down next to her ginger ale. She watched as Emily leaned over the table to take her shot. Andi averted her eyes as the weight of Emily’s breasts pulled the black material of her dress down showing more cleavage.

The cue ball hit the set up slightly off center of the lead ball, sending the balls scattering across the table. The five ball landed squarely in the corner pocket. “Yes!” Emily said. “I get solids.” She smiled at Andi and was rewarded with a big grin in return.

After missing the next shot, Emily picked up her drink, taking long sips while Andi took her turn sinking three balls in three shots before missing. The glass was empty by the time Emily set it back down. She flagged down a waitress for another drink.

There were four balls left on the table when two more women entered the room, one of them placing four quarters on the edge of the table, claiming it for the next game. The women stayed a respectful distance from the table as Emily and Andi played. 

“Eight ball side pocket,” Emily said as she hit the cue ball. It slammed into the black ball and sent it smoothly into the pocket, winning Emily the game.  Andi couldn’t help but smile as her friend did a little victory dance, waving her arms in the air and shaking her hips. She picked up her now empty glass and raised it in the air.

“Can I have a Sex on the Beach?” Emily asked the waitress who had just entered the room.  She managed to order the drink without giggling. She had no idea what was in it, but she liked the name. She set her empty glass down on the server’s tray along with a twenty-dollar bill. “Andi, what would you like?”

“Ginger ale,” Andi said to the waitress. She turned to Emily. “Do you want to stay in here and play pool again in a little while or do you want to sit out there?” she asked pointing to the bar area.

Before Emily could answer the question, the pretty blond who had laid claim to the pool table earlier spoke. “If you want to stay, we could play teams. Me and Beth against you guys. I’m Lucinda and this is my friend Beth." 

“Hi, I’m Andi and this is Emily.” Andi looked over at Emily. She raised her eyebrows to let Emily decide the answer to Lucinda’s question.

“Sure,” she said when Emily nodded. “Do you want to set up or break?”

“I’ll rack.” Beth said taking the triangle down from the wall. Her thick black hair was cut close and spiked straight up. She looked like a young boy in her tan cargo pants, black boots and red and black-checkered flannel shirt. 

Andi took the drinks as the waitress returned, handing Emily’s her glass.

The women proved to be a challenge but in the end team Emily and Andi won out.  “Good game.” Lucinda said to everyone. She turned to Andi, “Would you mind if I dance with your girlfriend?”

Andi looked stunned for a moment. The cloudiness cleared from her eyes as she said. “Um, she’s not my girlfriend. So I guess that would be up to her.”

“Sure, that would be nice, as long as your girlfriend doesn’t mind.” She looked over at Beth. 

“We’re just friends,” Lucinda said smiling at Emily. She extended her hand to Emily and walked her to the dance floor. Andi picked up her soda, took a sip and set it back down, picking up Emily’s drink instead and swallowing the small amount of liquid that remained at the bottom of the glass. 

She watched as Lucinda pulled Emily into her arms before turning to Beth. “Want to play another game?”

Emily felt a little shy as the stranger pulled her into a soft embrace. Emily hesitated as she decided where to put her hands. Lucinda took Emily’s right hand and held it, with her elbow bent slightly in between them. Emily slipped her left arm around the blonde’s back matching Lucinda’s arm around her own back. After a few missed steps Emily picked up the rhythm of the slow dance and her movement flowed with Lucinda’s. They moved this way until the final notes of the song played and faded into the next one.

“Another dance?” Lucinda asked.

“That was nice,” Emily said, glancing over at Andi’s backside as she bent over the pool table. “But I don’t want my friend to think I’ve abandoned her. Thanks.” Emily let go of Lucinda’s hand, smiled and walked over to Andi. She reached around just as Andi was about to take a shot and pulled the cue stick from her and took her hand. She gave the stick to Beth, and said to Andi, “Dance with me.” She led her onto the dance floor, ignoring the surprised expression on her face.

Emily pulled Andi in close, wrapping her arms around her waist. Both women stepped into the rhythm of the music and each other effortlessly. Emily heard a sigh escape from Andi’s throat as they moved together. Emily was feeling the warmth of the alcohol and the closeness of Andi’s body. She rested her head against Andi’s shoulder as they danced.  She closed her eyes and let the music carry her. Emily lifted her head and placed her cheek against Andi’s. She knew it would only take a slight adjustment to have her lips meet Andi’s. It only took a second to make the decision and adjustment. With her eyes still closed she felt her lips brush Andi’s. But the lips were suddenly gone and Emily felt nothing but air. She opened her eyes and looked at Andi. They were no longer dancing. Andi had pulled her head back and out of the reach of Emily’s mouth. 

“Emily, you’ve had a lot to drink. I don’t think this is a good idea.” The look of confusion and disappointment on Emily’s face was unmistakable.

Emily was at a loss for words. Her own actions and Andi’s reaction started to confuse her. She was feeling lightheaded and more than a little foolish. “I think it might be time to go home,” she said quietly.

“Are you all right?” Andi asked.

“I’m fine. You’re right. I think I’ve had a little too much to drink. I am not used to drinking that much. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, nothing to be sorry about. You’re entitled to have a good time.” Andi put her arm around Emily’s shoulder and guided her out into the fresh air.

*****

Andi helped Emily out of the car and led her up the front step to her house. She took the key that Emily held out and unlocked the door. Once inside Andi led her to her bedroom and sat her down on the bed.  Emily was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol. “Can you change your clothes by yourself?” Andi asked her as he pulled a tee shirt and sweat pants from Emily’s dresser.

“I think so.” Emily’s words were slurred. “I’ve been changing my clothes like a big girl since I was three.” She giggled. “I need to check on Mindy first.”

“You change your clothes. I’ll go check on Mindy.” Andi closed the door quietly as she left the room.

Andi was gone for a few minutes. She knocked lightly on Emily’s door upon her return.

“Who is it?” Emily said a little too loudly. She giggled again.

“Very funny,” Andi said, as she opened the door. Emily was sitting on the bed with the tee shirt on. The sweat pants were still in the same spot Andi had left them. Her strapless black dress was crumpled on the floor. Andi picked it up and laid it neatly across the chair next to the bed.

“I think I’m going to get sick.” Emily started to get up but sat back down, leaned forward and threw up.

Andi went into her bathroom and returned with a towel and a wet washcloth. She wiped Emily’s face with the washcloth and gently wiped it again with the towel. She placed the towel over the mess on the floor and returned to the bathroom, this time coming out with a glass of water for Emily.

“Drink this,” she told Emily. Emily began to cry. “Oh, honey, it’s all right. You’re okay,” Andi told her rubbing her back.

Emily sipped the water as Andi held the glass for her.

“It’s right here if you want more,” Andi told her as she put the glass of water on the nightstand. “Okay? Now can you stand for a second while I get the blankets moved?” Emily nodded. Andi helped her to her feet and held her in place while she reached over pulling back the blanket and bed spread. “Now lie down here. That’s right.”  Andi pulled the blanket up around Emily.

She cleaned up the mess on the hardwood floor using the towel and wash cloth, and went into the kitchen, returning with wet paper towels and spray cleaner to finish the job. Emily watched her.

“I’m sorry,” she said as more tears rolled down her cheeks. “I just wanted us to have a good time.”

Andi gave her a reassuring smile. “We did have a good time…right up ‘til the puking part.  Up until then, it was a wonderful time.”  Andi smiled at Emily, but more tears fell. Andi brushed the hair from Emily’s face. “It’s okay, Emily, honest.” She wiped Emily’s face again with a clean wet washcloth. She leaned over and kissed Emily gently on the forehead before shutting the light and leaving the room, this time leaving the door ajar.

Andi took care of the cleaning supplies and threw the towels and wash clothes into the washer, added detergent and started the machine. Sitting on the couch, she turned on the television in the living room, and held down the volume button on the remote until the sound was very low. She sat down and began flipping through the channels.

Chapter 10

Emily woke up with a headache and a very bad taste in her mouth.  The events of the night before were a little fuzzy. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She looked down at her bare legs and realized that she was wearing a tee shirt instead of her usual nightshirt. She noticed a pair of her sweatpants on the side of the bed and pulled them on. 

Details of the night before began to creep in as she brushed her teeth. She rinsed her mouth with Scope, but her mouth still didn’t feel clean so she brushed them again. She had a vague memory of playing pool and dancing with Andi. I must have had a very good time, seeing how bad I feel this morning.

Emily thought toast might help ease her queasy stomach and she headed in the direction of the kitchen. She stuck her head into Mindy’s room as she passed. Mindy was still sound asleep.

Emily was surprised to see Andi sleeping peacefully on the couch as she walked into the living room. She tiptoed over and covered Andi up with the blanket from the back of the couch before continuing into the kitchen.

Emily considered making a pot of coffee so it would be ready when Andi woke up, but decided against it. She was sure the smell would make her sick. Sick. Sick? I think I got sick last night.  Oh my God, I think I got sick last night and Andi had to clean it. Oh my God.

“How are you feeling?” Emily jumped at the sound of Andi’s voice. She turned toward her.

“Oh my God, Andi. I am so sorry. I drank too much last night. That is so not me. I’m definitely not used to drinking like that.”

“It’s okay. You had a good time.” 

“How good a time? Did I get sick when I got home?”

“Just a little.” Andi held up hand, her thumb and finger about a half an inch apart. “Oh that reminds me, you have some towels and wash clothes in the dryer. I fell asleep before they were done.

“Oh my God, Andi. I’m so sorry.” She put her face in her hands.

“It’s fine. So how are you feeling?”

“Not too good. In fact I think shitty would be a step up. You don’t know any good hang over cures, do you?” Emily sat down at the table.

“I think there is one with raw eggs or something like that. Want some raw eggs?”

Emily held one hand over her mouth and the other in the air in front of her.

“No, guess not. How about an aspirin and some dry toast then?” Emily nodded.

Andi put the bread into the toaster before getting the aspirin and a glass of water.

“How come you’re not hung over?” Emily asked after downing the pills.

“One of us had to stay sober to make sure you didn’t get into any trouble. Besides, I didn’t feel like taking a cab home.” Andi put the toast on a plate and handed it to Emily. She put two more slices of bread into the toaster.

“Oh my God, I didn’t do anything stupid, did I?”

Andi leaned against the counter waiting for her toast. “That depends on what you call stupid.”

“What did I do? I’m not sure I want to know. I don’t drink like that. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Emily shook her head looking at Andi.

“I was there to look out for you and make sure you didn’t do anything crazy because of the alcohol.”

“Thank you, Andi. I remember dancing. Did I dance with you?”

“You did,” was all Andi said.

“Maybe we can do that again sometime when I’m sober.” Emily smiled despite her throbbing head.

“I would like that very much,” Andi said as she turned to the counter to butter her toast.

Chapter 11

“Damn it, damn it, damn it.” Emily couldn’t decide what to wear. “How do I get myself into this stuff?” She felt that familiar sick feeling in her stomach. Maybe I just won’t go.

Emily pulled out two more blouses from her closet and held them up in front her looking in the full-length mirror. She threw both shirts on the pile that was forming on the bed and went back to the closet to see what else she had to choose from. Seven shirts later she had decided on a lavender blouse with black pants. It looked nice while still being casual. She decided against wearing her comfortable sneakers and slipped on a pair of black flats instead. A light application of makeup completed the look.     

“Welcome, ladies, thank you for coming. I can tell already that we are going to have some fun here tonight. This is lesbian speed dating, so if you’re looking for a man you are in the wrong place and should leave now.” There were a few polite laughs at her stab at humor. Emily looked around the poorly lit room. Soft music played in the background as twenty women milled about. She was amazed at the different looks that the women sported. There were a couple of women that Emily would have thought were men if she saw them on the street. One woman had a suit on, complete with vest and tie. She had her hair cut short and slicked back. A few women had on dresses and make up. The rest of the women fell somewhere in between.

“Now, you were all given a number when you arrived. Does everyone have a card with their number?” There were murmurs all around. “Good,” the hostess continued. “Each table has two numbers on it. This tells you your starting place.” Wow, she’s perky Emily thought. She looked again at the card in her hand. It had a big number eight on it. She looked around and found the table with her number on it. She could also see the number seven on the table. She glanced around the room casually looking for the number seven card and who held it. She couldn’t spot it.

“You will have exactly three minutes to talk to the woman sitting across from you. When you hear this bell…” she enthusiastically rang the small brass cowbell, “…if your number is an even number, for example, two, four, six and so on, you stay seated. If your number is an odd number, for example one, three, five, and so on, you move one table to your left. Does anyone not know if their number is an odd or even number?”

Oh, dear God, Emily thought. If anyone here doesn’t know what an odd or even number is, I don’t want to be dating them. She glanced around the room to make sure no one was raising their hand.

The perky hostess went on to explain how the person from the farthest left table should come around the room to farthest right table when the bell rang. Emily was getting impatient. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and back again. “On the back of the card you are holding there is a list of numbers. You can choose yes or no for each number. If you wish to have further contact with any particular person, check the ‘yes’ box next to their number. If not, check the ‘no’ box. At the end of the evening, turn your cards in and you will get an email tomorrow with the names and contact information of everyone that you had interest in that also had interest in you.”  Miss Perky was beginning to run out of steam after that long explanation. “Are there any questions?”

One hand went up and everyone turned to look at a young woman with a bright pink streak down the center of her bleached blond hair, but it was her lip ring that Emily found most distracting. “Umm, yeah, what if we like want to get together with someone here but they don’t want to get together with us, so is there like anyway to get together with them, if, you know, they don’t have any interest in us, I mean, they really can’t know us from just three minutes and if they had like five minutes they might like us?” Emily wondered how she could get that all out in one breath without passing out. The young woman continued. “I have been to like literally a million of these things and I can’t seem to meet the people I want to.” Emily thought of Andi when Miss Lip Ring said literally and she smiled at the thought.

“Hmm, well, we can’t give out any information to you if someone marks ‘NO’ on their card. Any other questions?” Miss Perky looked around.

Emily looked at the woman with the lip ring and caught a glimpse of the number on the card the young woman was holding...number eleven. Emily turned her card over and put a big ‘X’ in the ‘NO’ column next to that number.

Miss Perky held up bell in front of her. “Okay then, shall we get started? Everyone please take your seats.” She rang the bell and made a grand production out of pulling a stopwatch from pants pocket.

Emily took her seat. A moment later an attractive woman sat down across from her. She had dark blond hair with soft curls the hung around her face. Okay, Emily thought. I can do this.

“And time staaaaarts now.” Miss Perky rang the bell and pushed the start button on the stopwatch.

“She’s a little obnoxious, isn’t she?” Number seven said.

Emily shrugged. “Hi.  I’m Emily.”

“Tina.” 

“I’m an art teacher. What do you do?”

“I’m a nurse at Saint Joseph Hospital.”

“Oh that sounds interesting. “

“It is. It’s very interesting being a nurse.”

Okay, so I could just sit and look at her, Emily thought, the hell with talking. This isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. What else should I say? I need to get an actual conversation going here. We still have two and a half minutes left. “So, what do you like to do when you aren’t working?”  That’s a good question. We can talk about that.

“Oh, not too much. I pretty much stay home with my cats.” 

“You have cats, huh?  How many do you have?” Emily was determined to get a conversation going.

“Six.” Tina wasn’t making this easy.

“Six? Wow, that’s a lot of cats.”

“I don’t think so. My sister has ten.”

Emily sighed and glanced at her watch. She couldn’t believe how long three minutes was.  She rested her chin on her hand while she tapped her fingers on the table. “So why did you want to try speed dating?” She thought another approach might work better.

“To meet people…women…I like women.”

“That makes sense. So like I said, I’m and art teacher and I also paint in my spare time, mostly oil paintings, but I also do some drawing.”

“That’s nice.” 

Emily wished that they had served something to drink. At least that way she could sip a glass of wine or play with the straw in her soda or dump a glass of milk on this girl’s head just to liven things up. She couldn’t help but giggle to herself at her thoughts. Well, at least I can amuse myself.  She attempted one more try. “Sooooo……” Oh, the hell with it. They sat in silence until the bell rang. 

Emily turned her card over and marked the number seven with a great big ‘X” in the ‘NO’ column.

“Hi, I’m number nine,” another woman said as she sat down showing Emily her card as if she had to prove it.

“Nice to meet you, number nine. I’m Emily.”

Number nine laughed. “Sorry, my name is Jennifer. Jenny.” She reached across the table to shake Emily’s hand. This conversation went much better than the first. Number nine was a legal secretary. She was out at work and her co-workers had no problem with her being gay. Her family also knew she was gay, but her preacher brother wasn’t happy about it and she avoided him whenever possible. She wasn’t willing to give up family gatherings to avoid his rants. All in all it was a good three minutes.

Number eleven sat down across from Emily. She talked and talked and talked. Emily wasn’t sure what she was talking about. She just sat there and watched her lips move. The pink streak in her hair wasn’t too distracting, but Emily had trouble keeping her eyes off of the lip ring. It bounced about while number eleven chatted away. Emily was thankful when she heard that annoying cowbell ring.

Another woman moved into the chair. The woman seemed very attracted to Emily. Emily could tell by the number of times she said the words, “I’m very attracted to you, Emily,” in the three minute time frame. She also suggested several times that they leave “this joint, right now.”  Emily put yet another “X” in the “NO” column on the back of the card.

Most of the other women were a blur as they came and went. By the end of the evening there were only two “X’s” in the “YES” column, Jenny and Belinda. Both had been easy to talk to and very easy on the eyes. 

After turning her card in at the door, Emily headed out to her car, anxious to get home so she could call Andi. She had some stories she wanted to share and she just wanted to hear the sound of Andi’s voice tonight. 

Chapter 12

“Mindy is at home. I rented her a movie and got her some snacks. She’ll be fine. I don’t plan on being out late,” Emily said into her cell phone as she sat in her car outside of the restaurant.   It had been a week since her speed dating experience and she was about to go on her first date with Jenny, the legal secretary. She wasn’t sure what to expect. Three minutes of conversation didn’t exactly let you get to know someone. 

Andi called to see how she was doing before her date. Emily thought it was so sweet of Andi to care.

“Do you want me to check on her?” Andi asked.

“If you’re bored, you can give her a call, but she’s okay alone for a while.” Emily checked her watch. “Listen, I have to get going, I don’t want to be late. I’ll call you when I get home. Bye Andi…and Andi…thanks.” Emily smiled as she hung up the phone. Andi was one of the good ones, and she felt so lucky to have her in her life.

Emily walked in and looked around. She was hoping that she would recognize Jenny when she saw her. She didn’t have to worry because Jenny recognized her and came right over. Jenny gave her a shy hug.

“Nice to see you again,” Jenny told her.

“You, too.” 

“I have a table already. Shall we go in?”

“Certainly. Lead the way.” Emily followed Jenny into the dining area and they sat down at the small round table. Antique tools and toys hung from the dark rustic walls in random groups scattered about. The fireplace in the corner added to the cozy feeling, and Emily could smell the real wood fire as it burned. Too many places used gas fireplaces these days, and Emily had never been fond of them. 

After a few minutes of small talk Emily looked through the menu that was already on the table. She made her decision pretty quickly and set the menu down on the blue gingham tablecloth.

“So what are you going to have?” Jenny asked her.

“I was thinking I would order a turkey burger and fries.” Emily answered.

“Oh, are you a vegetarian?” 

What? Emily thought. Oh my God, wait till I tell Andi this one. To the best of my knowledge turkey isn’t a vegetable. She giggled to herself. Out loud she said, “No. I love animals but don’t have any trouble eating one now and then.” Emily smiled at her own joke but Jenny didn’t. “Why?  Are you a vegetarian?” Emily thought maybe she had offended her. 

“Not at all.” She gave Emily a small smile. 

“Okay then.” Emily smiled back politely. “You’re a legal secretary, right?”

“Yes, I have been working for Binder and Miles downtown for about six years now. I really like it. I love the law.”

“I got called for jury duty last year, but didn’t have to serve because I walked in and yelled, ‘let my people go’.” Emily expected Jenny to laugh but she didn’t. “I’m just kidding. I did my civic duty and served on the jury.”

“Good. I think it’s an important thing to do.” This time Jenny didn’t crack a smile.

“I agree. We need to do the right thing in life.”

The waiter arrived at the table with his order pad in hand. “Are you ready to order?” He had friendly eyes and an easy smile.

“We are,” Emily said to the waiter. “Go ahead,” she said to Jenny.

“I’ll have the garden salad with Italian dressing and a diet coke,” Jenny said.

“And for you, Miss?” the waiter asked Emily.

“Can I get a turkey burger, fries well done and a glass of water with lemon, please?” She reached for the menu Jenny was holding, placed it with her own, and handed both to …she read his name tag…Kevin.

“Thank you, Kevin,” Emily said. She turned back to Jenny. “My friend Andi told me this was a great place to eat. I just recently moved here from Rochester, so I don’t know a lot about Syracuse yet.”

“Oh.  How come you moved here?” Jenny unfolded her napkin and placed it on her lap.

“I was running from the law.” No reaction, noted Emily. She just isn’t getting my humor. “I’m kidding. I got a teaching job here.”

Emily knew that she could never have a relationship with anyone that didn’t get her humor. Just to amuse herself she asked, “So, what would you say if I offered you a kidney?”

“What? Why would you do that?” Jenny sounded  disgusted.

“I wouldn’t. Just another joke. Just me being silly. Silly me.” Emily said the last part under her breath.     

Emily tried to enjoy the evening but found it all pretty boring. They split the bill at the end of the meal and neither mentioned a second date. That was all right with Emily. She had no interest in seeing Jenny again.

*****

Emily checked on Mindy when she got home. She was already in bed, watching the small television that Emily had bought for her. “How was the movie I rented?” Emily asked her sister as she sat down on the side of the bed.

“Great. Shrek is my best friend. How was your d..d..dinner?”

“The food was good.” Emily smoothed her sister’s hair down where it stuck up on the side.

“Did you have fun?”

“No, but that’s okay. It was a learning experience. I’m going to go get ready for bed. Don’t stay up too late. I’ll see you in the morning.” Emily gave her sister a light kiss on the head.

“Goodnight, Emily.”

Emily went into her room and closed the door. She sat on her bed and dialed Andi’s number.  “Hi, it’s me.”

“Hi. How was your evening?” Andi asked.

“Her head didn’t spin around or anything like that.”

“So is that good or bad?”

“It would have been really bad if her head spun around so I guess it was…no wait, now that I think about it. I think it would have been a step up if her head spun around. At least that would have entertained me. The evening was very boring.”

“I’m sorry, Em. Personally, I hate when I am on a date with someone and her head spins around. It always scares me ‘cause it’s usually followed by green stuff pouring out of her mouth.”  Emily laughed.

“This is what was missing.” Emily said. “Humor. A connection. A personality.”

“She had no personality?”

“She was nice enough but she had no sense of humor…and apparently she thinks that turkey is a vegetable.” Emily tried to stifle a giggle.

“Do I even want to know what that means?”

Emily relayed the story and other details of the night. They were both laughing hysterically by the time they hung up the phone.

Emily always felt better after talking to Andi. She held the phone in her hand for a few more minutes thinking about her. She was so glad that Andi was in her life. She set the phone on the nightstand and went into her bathroom. She turned on the shower and stripped off her clothes. A hot shower would feel good. The room filled with steam as she pushed back the shower curtain and stepped into the enclosure. 

The hot water ran over her head and down her back. She leaned her head back farther under the spray and closed her eyes. An image of Andi in the shower with her flashed through her mind. Andi’s lips were on her exposed neck. Suddenly her body was contributing to the moisture of the shower. The image and the feeling that accompanied it surprised Emily enough that she brought her head forward and opened her eyes. Wow, where did that come from?  She tried to push the thought aside, but the feelings in her body remained. Emily reached back and turned the knob to the right to cool the water down. But it did little to cool the fire she was feeling in her center.

Chapter 13

 Andi and Emily ran to Andi’s house just as the rain started. Andi sprinted ahead and unlocked the door. She pushed it open and stepped in just as Emily reached the house.

“That was close. I almost got wet.” Andi said panting.

“A little rain won’t hurt you,” Emily smirked as she playfully bumped her shoulder into Andi’s. She wiped a drip of rainwater as it ran down her forehead.

“Oh yeah, it would.  I would melt,” Andi said, trying to sound serious.

“Like the wicked witch?”

“No! Not like the wicked witch, more like I’m made out of sugar.” They moved into the living room together.

“You’re made out of sugar all right.” Emily laughed as she sat, sinking down into the overstuffed chair.

“This isn’t funny, Emily. I am made out of sugar and I will melt. When I was younger I had some water spill on my leg and now I am all deformed where my sugar leg melted,” she smirked.

“Let’s see it.”

Andi sat in the rocking chair across from Emily. “You want to see my deformed leg? Is that what you’re saying? It isn’t pretty, Emily.”

“I’m having trouble believing this whole story of yours, especially since you won’t show me the proof.” 

“I am not going to show you my leg. I don’t care how much you beg.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t show me your leg. I didn’t want to see it anyway.” Emily pretended to lose interest in the conversation as she tilted her head and looked absently around the room. 

“Hmm, want to get into your hot tub with me?” Emily said at last.

Andi looked at Emily, a shocked look on her face. “Are you trying to kill me, woman?”

The sound of laughter filled the room as both women broke into hysterical giggling, no longer able to suppress it.

Andi wiped tears from her cheeks, as she got serious. “Let’s do it,” she said looking at Emily.

“Do what?” Emily asked.

“Let go into the hot tub. It will be great. It isn’t raining very hard and it will take the chill off.”

“I didn’t bring a bathing suit and besides I thought you would melt.”

“I was just funning ya on the melting stuff. Come on, I’m sure I have a suit you can wear…or you can just go in naked if you want to.”

Emily put her finger on her chin and looked up toward the ceiling. “Hmm, let me think about it.” She immediately added, “Um, no, I don’t think so. Don’t think I will be getting naked in the hot tub.”

“Then let’s go see what I have for bathing suits,” Andi stood up. She grabbed Emily’s hand and dragged her into the bedroom.

Emily had never been in Andi’s bedroom before and she glanced around as she entered the room. The walls were painted sky blue with a glaze that was a slightly darker and glossier color than the undercoat. The darker blue was also used on the trim around the windows and doorframe. “This is beautiful.” Emily said. “Who did you get to paint this for you?”

“I did it myself.” Andi said.

“You did a wonderful job. I love it.” Emily’s attention was drawn to the queen sized bed. “And who made the quilt?” She pushed an image of Andi lying across the bed from her mind. 

“My grandmother made that for me.  Isn’t it great?” Andi ran her hand over the quilt lovingly.  “The pattern is called Friendship Garden. Some of these little pieces of fabric were taken from my baby clothes. This yellow material in the center of each block was from my first baby blanket.” She moved her finger to point out a pink floral fabric. “And this one is from a maternity shirt that my mother wore when she was pregnant for me.”

“Oh Andi, it’s beautiful,” Emily’s eyes met Andi’s and held there for several moments before Emily looked away, pretending to be interested in the collection of tiny dolls lined up on the top of the dresser. She was beginning to feel too warm as she stood in Andi’s bedroom.

“Most of those were gifts from my mom. I guess she figured if I could get interested in girly things like dolls it might turn me straight.”

“You’re kidding.” Emily looked once again at Andi.

“Nope. It’s the truth. She hasn’t given me one in a few years, so I’m thinking she has given up. Funny thing is that I like the dolls. Some of them are collector’s items.” Andi pulled open the top drawer of the dresser. She stepped back so Emily could see better. “Here you go. Take a look in here and see if there’s anything you want to wear.”

Emily pulled out the first one she saw. It was a black one-piece bathing suit with small gold rings that connected the material together at the hips. A quick peek at the label also told Emily that it should fit. “How about this one?” she asked.

“What a lovely choice,” Andi said with a smile. “Go ahead and change in my bathroom there and I’ll change in the bathroom down the hall. I’ll meet you by the back door with towels.”

Andi began looking through the drawer to find a suit for herself while Emily went to change.

Emily took off her clothes in the bathroom, and placed them neatly folded on the closed toilet seat. She eased the suit up over her butt and hips, taking a quick look at her legs, glad that she shaved them that morning. The bathing suit fit snuggly, not too tight and was comfortable. She pulled the strap up and eased the top over her chest and reached behind her neck to attach the clasp but couldn’t quite get it. Pulling the straps back down she looked again at how the pieces snapped together. Bringing them back up she tried once again to fasten it with no luck.  She left the bathroom clutching the straps behind her neck looking for Andi.

Andi was still in the other bathroom changing her clothes. Emily, in a playful mood after the humorous exchange earlier, tiptoed over to the closed door and leaned against the door jamb, her face very close to the door as she waited for Andi to come out. Her plan was to yell “Boo” as soon as Andi opened the door. 

It was only a matter of seconds before the door flew open and Andi stepped out, directly into Emily. Emily wasn’t prepared for Andi to come out so quickly, or so forcefully. Both women were startled by the sudden appearance of the other. Instead of yelling “Boo” as planned, Emily dropped the straps to the bathing suit causing the front of the suit to drop down just as Andi stepped into her. Andi’s arms came out in front of her in an attempt to keep her balance. She ended up with her arms wrapped around Emily. Emily nearly fell backwards out of the bathroom doorway. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Andi asked as she burst out laughing. 

“Scaring you,” Emily said as she looked up into Andi’s brown eyes. She joined in the laughter.

Andi started to release Emily from her grip when Emily’s arms went around Andi and held her tightly not letting her step back. Emily’s heart began beating wildly. She wasn’t sure if it was the close contact with Andi, or the fact that she realized her top was down around her waist.

Andi looked into Emily’s eyes trying to read them. “What are we doing?” Andi asked.

“Not what you think.” Emily said embarrassed. “My top fell down and I’m trying to keep myself covered…um…with your body.”

Andi put her arms back around Emily. “Okay,” she said so close that Emily could feel Andi’s breath on her face. Goosebumps erupted across Emily’s skin. “What do you want to do about this?” Andi voice was light, but her face was radiating warmth and a blush was traveling up her neck to her face.

“How about you close your eyes and I turn around and pull my top up?” Emily suggested.

“Okay, you got it.” Andi closed her eyes.

“Andi?”

“Yes?” Andi said. Eyes still closed.

“You need to let me go.”

Andi opened her eyes. “What?” She realized her arms were still tightly around Emily. “Oh, sorry.” She closed her eyes again and let go of Emily’s waist. Emily took a step back and spun around pulling up her top.

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.” Emily said, holding the bathing suit straps behind her neck. “Would you mind helping me with this?”

Andi stepped forward and fastened the straps together, putting her hands on Emily’s bare shoulders when she finished. She whispered into Emily’s ear. “Okay, all set.”         Emily closed her eyes feeling Andi’s hands and warm breath on her. She took a deep breath before opening them again and turning around. The sight in front of her made her breath stop all together. Andi’s bathing suit was deep blue and hugged her body like a second skin. The sides were cut away showing the curve and soft skin above her hips. The top was low cut and Andi’s breasts were pushed upwards adding to their fullness.

Emily forced her eyes from Andi’s chest to her eyes. She cleared her throat. “I’m ready whenever you are. Do you have the towels?”

“I’ll get them,” Andi said walking to hall closet. She threw a large fluffy green towel to Emily and pulled out a similar pink towel for herself. “Give me a minute to get the cover off of the hot tub before you come out.” She slipped through the sliding glass doors.

Emily stared after her. She didn’t move until Andi stuck her head back in the door and waved for her to come out.

Emily joined Andi on the deck and watched her slip into the hot tub in one quick movement. Emily sat on the edge of the tub, swung her legs over the side and let her body slide into the hot water. She tipped her head back into the water and wet her hair before she settled down in the area next to Andi, shoulder to shoulder.  The tension left her body as the hot water surrounded her, the jets forcing water and bubbles towards her, dimpling her skin where they hit.

The rains had stopped and steam rose from the hot tub into the cool damp mid-October air. “I don’t see that you’re melting.” Emily bumped Andi’s shoulder. “And I didn’t see any deformities on your legs either.”

“You were looking at my legs?”

“No. I wasn’t looking at your legs. I was just looking and your legs happened to be in my line of vision.”

“I keep my deformities hidden. You can’t see them, but I know they’re there.”

The conversation took a serious turn for a moment. “I guess to some extent we all keep our deformities hidden.” Emily paused, choosing her words carefully. “Sometimes I wonder if Mindy has an advantage or a disadvantage because her…” Emily did air quotes with her fingers, “deformity is there for all the world to see. She doesn’t have to hide it, like the rest of us.”

“And do you have deformities?” Andi asked quietly. “Because, Emily Sanders, you seem perfect to me.” The words were said with complete sincerity.

The two women just looked at each other for several seconds as the water swirled around them.  Emily leaned toward Andi without breaking eye contact. She ran her hand swiftly through the water, her palm leading the way, causing a large splash of water to hit Andi in the face.

“Hey! No rough housing in the hot tub.” Andi said as she sent a wall of water back at Emily.

Emily laughed as the water dripped from her hair and she wiped it away from her eyes. 

The laughter died away as the friends once again relaxed into the water. Emily closed her eyes. The only sound in the air was the bubbles in the water coming to the surface and the hum of the hot tub filter.  They sat together enjoying the silence and each other's presence.  Emily was very aware of just how close Andi was to her. Their shoulders rested against each other, skin touching skin. She felt flushed from the contact. The heat she felt was coming from more than just the water.

“I certainly hid being gay,” Emily said, cutting through the silence, her eyes still closed.  “Not that I’m calling being gay a deformity. But I hid it so well that even I didn’t see it. Sometimes common sense eludes me. I think that is one of my deformities. I can’t see what is right in front of me.” After a bit Emily asked, “Do you think that makes me stupid or blind?”

“I think that makes you hot.”

“What?” Emily said with amusement opening her eyes to look at Andi.

“Hot. Too hot. Your face is looking a little red. You can’t stay in the hot tub too long cause you get too hot and it fries your brains. So we need to get out now before our brains fry.”

“Aww, if we gotta, we gotta.” She slowly rose out of the water and smoothly eased out of the tub. The cool air felt good against her hot skin.

“I’m afraid we gotta.” Andi stood and took the towels from the deck railing handing one to Emily before she stepped out of the tub.

Emily watched as a drop of water ran from Andi’s chin, down her long neck and over her chest before it came to rest on the swell of flesh before descending and being lost in the cloth of Andi’s bathing suit.

Emily realized she was staring and turned her eyes away and began to towel herself dry. She felt heat rising in her, not so much from the heat of the water she just left as from the sight she had witnessed. She wrapped the large towel around her chest, just below her armpits, slid open the glass door, and stepped into the house. She left the door open for Andi to follow but didn’t wait for Andi to come in before going into Andi’s bathroom to change her clothes.

She emerged several minutes later fully dressed. She held the towel and wet bathing suit in her hand. 

Andi was nowhere in sight and the sliding glass door was closed so Emily assumed that Andi was changing her own clothes in the other bathroom. Emily deposited the wet items in the plastic basket that sat on the washer in the laundry room. She barely avoided running into Andi as Andi entered the room to leave her own wet things in the basket.

“Hi,” Andi said.

“Hi,” Emily said back.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No, I think I am going to stay away from alcohol for a little while,” Emily said with a lopsided grin remembering the last time she drank.

“I was thinking more like water. It is a really good idea to drink water after you get out of the hot tub. Go have a seat in the other room and I’ll get us some.” 

Emily went into the living room, while Andi went into the kitchen. Water, Emily thought, maybe that will help cool the fire I am feeling inside. She sat in the wooden rocking chair and pushed off the floor lightly with her toes setting the chair in motion, using up some of the extra energy she was feeling.

“Thanks,” she said to Andi, taking the water but avoiding her eyes. Emily drank half of the water down before removing the glass from her lips. She watched as Andi sat on the arm of the chair across from her. 

“Do you want anything to eat?” Andi asked Emily.

“No thanks. I think I’m going to get going after I finish my water here.” She held up her glass.

“Okay. If ya gotta, ya gotta.”

Emily continued lightly rocking the chair as she drank the rest of her water. She rocked a few more times holding her empty glass before rising. She brought the glass to the kitchen, placed it in the dishwasher, and returned to the living room. Andi met her as she reentered the room.

“It’s gotten really chilly outside. Do you want to borrow a coat or sweater so you don’t freeze on your way home?” Andi offered.

“No, I still feel pretty warm from the hot tub. I think I’ll be fine. If I get chilled on the way home I can always turn the heat on. But thanks.” Emily smiled.

They walked to the front door and Andi gave Emily a tight hug before opening the door for her. Emily pushed open the screen door, gave a small wave and said, “Bye, I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Don’t forget you’re coming over to watch movies on Friday night.”

“I won’t forget. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night.”

Andi leaned against the open door and watched Emily as she got into her car and backed out into the street. She closed the door as Emily’s taillights disappeared around the corner.

Chapter 14

Emily answered the door. She looked pale and tired, dressed in an old tee shirt and a pair of sweat pants that were not the least bit baggy. They hugged Emily’s butt nicely. It was her face and the pasty look of her skin that were off.  As bad as she looked, she felt even worse. 

“Oh my God. You look terrible,” Andi said as she came in.

“Gee, thanks. I was hoping I would feel better by the time you got here. Guess my plan didn’t work.”

Andi put her hand up to Emily’s forehead. She felt warm. “I think you’ve got a fever. Did you take anything? Aspirin or anything?”

Emily shook her head ‘no’. Andi went into the bathroom and came back with two aspirin and a glass of water, and handed them to her sick friend. “Have you eaten anything?”

“I had some toast and soup a little while ago.”

“Would you like me to make you something else to eat…or maybe some juice?”

“No, thanks.”

“Where’s Mindy?”

“She is spending the night at Daisy’s house.”

“We don’t have to watch a movie if you feel sick. I’ll just sit with you for a while if you want me to.” Andi looked concerned.

“I would love for you to stay,” Emily said, mustering up a smile. 

Andi led her to the couch and eased her down in the middle of it. She turned the knob on the end table lamp, dimming the light. Coming back to the couch she sat down and leaned against the back of the couch. “Come here and lay your poor, sick head on my bosom.”

Emily looked at her and smirked in spite of her pounding head. “What kind of a person uses the word ‘bosom’?”

Andi feigned offense. “Apparently women that spent way too much time around their grandmother as a kid.”

Emily smiled as she leaned into Andi, settling her head more on her lap than on her “bosom”.  “Thank you.” 

Andi pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and covered Emily with it. “How’s that?”

Emily let out a contented sigh. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

“I know,” Andi said. She smoothed her hand over Emily’s head and rested it on her shoulder.  Emily snuggled in even closer. 

“I don’t feel so good,” Emily whispered.

“I know, baby. I’m here. I’ll take care of you.”

“I was going to make us popcorn, and we were supposed to have a nice night watching movies.  I even got one with girl on girl action, just for you.”

Emily could hear the smile in Andi’s voice, even though she couldn’t see her face. “Shh, we can watch them another time. You just rest now.”

“Tell me more about your grandmother.”

“My grandmother, huh? Well, she is a short, round, happy little Italian lady that makes the best tomato sauce you ever ate. She always smells a little bit like garlic. She taught me how to cook and sew. She loved me and I loved her.”

“Uh huh,” Emily said so low Andi could barely hear it.

“She’s going to love you, too, when she gets to meet you. She’ll know just how special you are.” Andi gently brushed her fingers through Emily’s hair.

“Andreina,” Emily whispered as she drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 15

Emily awoke to a rhythmic sound coming from just behind her. Confused, she slowly opened her eyes. It took several moments to get her bearings. There was sunlight streaming in through the windows, and she realized she was in her living room. The details of last night drifted back to her. The sound she was hearing was Andi breathing. She was lying on her side, her head rested on Andi’s lap.  Andi’s hand was resting gently across Emily’s waist, skin touching skin. She could feel heat radiating from the area. She didn’t know if it was from Andi’s hand or the reaction her own flesh had to Andi’s sleeping touch.

“Andi,” Emily whispered. “Andi,” she said a little louder. “Andi,” she said a third time.

“Huh?” Andi was awake now but not fully articulate.

Emily rolled over onto her back and looked up at Andi. The movement caused Andi’s hand to travel from her waist to her stomach, and Emily felt heat in the pit of her stomach and below.

“Are you awake?” Emily was feeling much better.

“Huh? Umm, yeah. How are you feeling?” She looked down at Emily and smiled. Her hand absently caressed Emily’s stomach as she asked the question. This small movement made Emily’s breath catch in her throat. Andi pulled her hand away quickly running her fingers through her own hair. Emily felt the loss of Andi’s touch immediately.

“I’m feeling much better, but I bet you feel sore as hell from sleeping in that position.”

“I’m okay,” Andi said, rubbing her neck. She moved her head side to side to release some of the stiffness she felt. “Would you like me to make you something to eat?”

Emily felt a little weird with her head on Andi’s lap, looking up at her. “How about you go take a shower and I’ll make you something to eat?” She sat upright so she could look at Andi at eye level while she waited for an answer.

“Are you sure you’re up to it? You weren’t feeling too great last night.”

“I’m sure. A hot shower will do you good, your neck and back can’t feel too good from sleeping upright on this couch.” She reached across the short distance between them and lightly rubbed Andi’s knee. “Thank you for taking care of me last night.”

“My pleasure,” Andi answered with a shy smile. “And I think I will go take a shower.” 

Emily rose from the couch, grabbed Andi’s hands and pulled her to her feet.

“Good.  Use my bathroom. The towels are under the sink, and feel free to look through my drawers to find something to wear.” She turned Andi around by the shoulders. Emily resisted the urge to pat her on the butt and instead patted her on the back and said, “Now go.” She didn’t, however, resist the urge to watch Andi’s rear as she walked away.

Andi wore only her underwear as she left the bathroom after her shower, entering Emily’s bedroom through the connecting door. She didn’t feel quite right going through Emily’s drawers looking for clothes to wear, but she didn’t feel quite right about putting her own clothes back on after her shower. She pulled open the top drawer of the tall maple dresser and pulled out the first tee shirt she saw. She slipped it over her head. The material soaked up the last few drops of water that remained on her shoulders from her shower. Andi was surprised at how well the old pair of jeans she found in Emily’s bottom drawer fit her as she pulled them up. She folded her own clothes and set them down on the recliner as she passed through the living room. 

The smell of bacon and coffee led Andi down the hall and into the kitchen.  She leaned on the door frame as she watched Emily put toast in the toaster. Almost as if she sensed her standing there, Emily turned around. 

“Those clothes fit you great,” Emily said nodding her approval.

“I even managed to get into your pants,” Andi blushed as she realized what she had said.

Emily laughed. “You wish,” she said, but she was beginning to wonder just who was wishing what. “Come on and sit down.” 

 Andi sat. “I appreciate your making me breakfast.” 

Emily set a cup of coffee down in front of the woman who looked so good in her clothes. “And I appreciate you staying with me last night. Having you here really did make me feel so much better.”

“Anytime. Just let me know whenever you need me to spend the night with you.”  The innocent statement sent a surge through Emily. The thought of spending the night with Andi in her bed made her whole body go suddenly hot.  She turned and went to the toaster in an attempt to hide whatever her face might reveal about her feelings.

Emily buttered the toast and put it on a small plate. She continued preparing breakfast and setting the table in silence as she tried to sort through her thoughts. 

“Are you all right?” Andi’s voice startled her. Emily spooned the scramble eggs from the pan on the stove into a bowl, and brought the bowl to the table.

“Yes. I’m fine. Why?”

“You’re just very quiet. Does your head still hurt?” 

“My head is just fine…although I guess that's a matter of opinion,” she smiled.

“Well, if my opinion counts, your head is more than fine.” 

“In that case, yes, your opinion does count. Thanks.” Emily wondered if Andi was having the same feelings she was. I’m not sure what feelings I’m having. Maybe I should try to figure out my own thoughts and feelings before trying to figure out someone else’s. 

Chapter 16

Emily was surprised on Wednesday when Belinda called to see if she was interested in going out for a drink on Saturday night. Emily had all but forgotten Belinda, the only other person, besides Jenny whom Emily had met on her speed dating adventure that she had had the slightest bit of interest in. That had been nearly a month ago.

Emily hesitated before answering. The date with Jenny hadn’t gone too well and Emily was trying to sort out her feelings for Andi. She didn’t know if she wanted to go out with Belinda after all.

“It’s just a drink,” Belinda said on the phone after waiting but getting no response. “Or how about coffee Saturday afternoon? No pressure, but I would like to see you and get to know you a little better.”

“Sure,” Emily said at last. What would be the harm in having coffee? “Where and what time?”

“Which are you saying yes to? The drink or the coffee?” 

“The coffee, if that’s okay with you?” Emily said. 

“That’s fine.” Belinda proceeded to give her the information and directions. “I look forward to seeing you again,” she said to Emily before hanging up.

*****

Emily could feel that crisp feeling of fall in the air as she walked across the parking lot. The sun was shining but the blowing wind negated any warming effect it might have had. She pulled the collar of her fleece jacket up to shield her neck. Many of Emily’s friends considered this a great time of year. They loved the changing colors of the leaves and the escape from the heat of summer.  Emily just couldn’t understand it. To her the gold and orange leaves just meant that the cold of winter would soon be settling in. She didn’t like the cold and she knew that Syracuse, like Rochester, could get pretty darn cold in the winter.

She chose the house she bought in North Syracuse, not only because of the large windows in the den that became her studio, but also because it had a stone fireplace. She pictured the fireplace stacked with seasoned wood ablaze with a warm crackling fire. The image included a glass of wine in her hand and Andi softly kissing her neck. She closed her eyes for a moment as she stopped walking. She shook her head from side to side to try to dislodge the image from her mind.    

“Jeez,” she said under her breath. Here I am meeting someone for coffee…okay, let’s get real here…meeting someone for a date and I’m thinking about Andi kissing me?  That is so not cool.  What kind of a person am I?

She shook her head again and resumed her walking until she got to the door. She could smell the fresh coffee as soon as she pushed it open.  She walked over to the counter and waited as an elderly man paid his bill.

“Table for one?” the hostess asked her as she handed the man back his change. 

“No, I’m supposed to meet someone. Her name is Belinda. Would you happen to know if she is here yet?” Emily looked around to see if she could see her. The dining area appeared to be in the shape of an L so there was an area that was out of Emily’s vision. She also wasn’t sure she would know Belinda if she saw her.

“Emily?” She turned at the sound of her name. Belinda had just come in behind her. She was prettier than Emily remembered. Her ash blond hair was cut short and tapered up around her face.  Her dark hazel eyes were bright against her pale skin. The tan trench coat that she wore was tied loosely at the waist with a matching belt.

“Yes,” Emily smiled. “Here she is,” Emily said to the hostess, “Table for two.”

“Right this way,” the hostess said, taking two menus from under the counter. Emily and Belinda followed.

Belinda removed her overcoat, revealing a dark red ribbed turtleneck sweater and a black pleated skirt. 

The waiter appeared with a pot of coffee just as the hostess left. He placed two white cups on the table. “Coffee?” he asked.

“Yes,” both women answered in unison.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes for your order, ladies,” he said after filling both cups.

Emily poured her usual amount of half and half and sugar into her cup and stirred it while Belinda watched with amusement.

“Just a little coffee and a lot of cream and sugar, huh?” Belinda said. Her statement brought Emily back to the first time she had coffee with Andi. “I wasn’t sure you still wanted to get together when I called you.”

“I wasn’t sure either,” Emily said honestly.

“And yet here we are. Why?” Belinda asked gently. 

Emily looked at Belinda trying to decide how much to tell her. “Hmm, well, I guess I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go out with you. Nothing personal, nothing against you, I’m sure you’re a great person.”

“I am,” Belinda said with a smile. Emily liked her self-assurance. “So, why the hesitation?”

Emily looked at Belinda weighing the answer in her mind before speaking. “Because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with my best friend.” There. Emily thought. I said it. I said it out loud.  She repeated it. “I think I’m in love with my best friend.”

“I’m thinking this might get in the way of our dating,” Belinda said. “I’m joking. I’m sorry. I’m a good listener if you want someone to talk to. I’m getting the feeling that you have been keeping this all bottled up. Does your friend know?”

“I’m the one who’s sorry. What a thing to tell you on our first date,” Emily said turning slightly red.

“Under the circumstances, let’s not think of this as a first date. Let’s think of it as two friends having coffee together.” She gave Emily a reassuring look.

“I would really appreciate that. I haven’t talked to anyone about this. But I don’t think it would be very fair of me to dump all this on you.”

“It’s fine. Truly, it is.” She reached across the table and gave Emily’s hand a quick squeeze. “Honest.”

“No, I haven’t told her how I feel.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not sure how she feels about me.”

“How are you ever going to find out if you don’t tell her?” 

“I guess I’m afraid of losing her if I tell her and she doesn’t feel the same.” 

The waiter reappeared at the table. “All set?” He asked the two women. His pencil was poised over his pad, ready to write.

“I think I will stick to the coffee,” Emily said looking up at him. She turned to look at Belinda. “But you go ahead and order something to eat. Don’t let me stop you.”

“Just the coffee for me, too,” Belinda said to the waiter. When he left she said to Emily, “She hasn’t given you any indication of how she feels? Do you even know if she’s gay?”

“That’s the only part I am sure of.” 

“Is she seeing anyone else?” Belinda asked.

“No. I thought she was and felt hurt and I think a little jealous, but I wasn’t sure of my feelings at that point. I wasn’t even sure I was gay then.”

“So these are pretty new feelings for you?”

Emily told Belinda about Sarah and her recent self-revelations. She skipped over some of the more personal, embarrassing details. Three cups of coffee later they were still deep in conversation.

“I guess the bottom line here is that I don’t know what to do about these feelings that I’m having,” Emily told Belinda.

“That’s quite a bottom line.”

“What should I do?”

“Oh, Emily, I can’t tell you what to do. I think you need to listen to your heart.”

Chapter 17

“I know it’s late notice, but would you like to come over for lunch today? I’ve hardly seen you at all this week,” Andi asked Emily over the phone on Sunday morning. “Bring Mindy too.”

“I can come but Mindy has a play date.”

“Hmm, okay, I guess you can come without Mindy.”

“Gee, thanks. What can I bring?

”Just your lovely self. About one o’clock?” 

“One o’clock works for me. I’ll see you then. Bye.” Emily shut her cell phone and held it in her hand looking at it. “And maybe I’ll tell you I love you today.”  Emily closed her eyes and shook her head. “Or maybe not.”

Emily took a shower, got dressed and showed up at Andi’s house a few hours later.

“Hey there, come on in.” Andi stepped back holding open the screen door so Emily could pass by. “You look nice.”

I could brush against her breasts as I walk by her. Emily thought as she came through the door. See if she likes it or pushes me away. “Hi,” she said instead. She was feeling unusually unsure of herself today.

“What’s new?” Andi asked her as she led the way into the kitchen.

“Not much.” If you don’t count the fact that after thirty-five years of life I figured out I was gay and it only took me a few more weeks to realize I’m in love with you. Emily wanted to kick herself in the head to get her brain to stop the stupid thoughts and sarcastic remarks. “How about with you? Anything new going on?” 

“No, but I’ve been a little worried about you.” Andi pulled out a chair for Emily. “I’ve hardly seen you this week and when I do, you don’t seem like yourself. So tell me what’s going on. Is everything okay?” Andi sat and pulled her chair closer.

“I’m okay, I’ve just been a little off this week.” Andi tilted her head looking directly at Emily’s eyes.  “Really, I’m fine,” Emily said.

Andi reached across and took both of Emily’s hands in her own. “Would you tell me if you weren’t?”

Emily looked down at her hands in Andi’s. She resisted the urge to intertwine their fingers.  For a moment she felt like she might cry. She looked up and into the face of the woman she loved. She was sure of it now. She loved Andi and she was scared of being in love alone. She was scared of losing Andi. She wasn’t sure she should tell her. “Yes. I would tell you if something was wrong.” But I’m not sure I can tell you that something is right.

“Okay.” Andi let go of her hands and stood up. She leaned over and kissed Emily on the cheek.  Emily closed her eyes and willed herself not to turn her head to meet Andi’s lips.

“I hope soup and sandwiches are okay. I thought that it would be nice on a chilly day like this.”  Andi began gathering the makings of lunch. “I made some chicken soup yesterday…from scratch.  I even raised the chicken myself.” She didn’t get a response from Emily. 

Emily was lost in thought. I am not sure I can sit here and make small talk when all I want to do is grab her and kiss her. What am I supposed to do with all these feelings?

“Emily?”

Emily stood looking at Andi. “What would you say if I offered you a kidney?”  She said in a rush.

“I would say thanks. I’m always looking for new kidneys for my collection. Why? Do you have extra kidneys you’re trying to get rid of?” Andi, obviously a little confused, played along.  Emily was sure it only made her love her more.

“I like that answer,” Emily swallowed hard looking directly at Andi. “And I love you. What I mean is… I’m in love with you.” She couldn’t help the few tears that escaped her eyes, feeling foolish and scared. Her entire body was hot with fear as she waited for a response from Andi.

Andi stood there looking at her. Emily was sure she had just made a mistake telling Andi her feelings. “Please say something.” Emily’s voice was barely audible.  Damn it! I blew it. I should have kept my big mouth closed. Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

“Are you sure?” 

Emily thought now would a good time to take it back. To tell Andi that she was just kidding, that it was all a big joke. But she knew she couldn’t do that. “I have never been more sure of anything in my whole life.” Her eyes never left Andi.

After what seemed like an eternity to Emily, Andi spoke, “I want you to be sure, Emily. All of this is very new to you. I want you to be sure. I couldn’t take it if I confessed that I’m in love with you, too, and you weren’t sure.”   

“What did you just say?” Emily couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

“I guess I said that I’m in love with you too.”  Andi stood in place holding a loaf of bread. “So what should we do about this?”

“Any chance that you could put down that bread and come over here and kiss me?” Emily said in voice that was barely above a whisper.

Andi stood unmoving. “Emily, I want you to be sure. I don’t want to mess anything up. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.” 

“Can’t you keep me as a friend and add me as a lover?”

Andi dropped the bread on the floor and took the three steps to Emily. Emily closed her eyes as Andi ran her hand across Emily’s cheek and over her lips, leaving a hot trail across Emily’s skin. Emily’s eyes were still closed when she felt Andi’s lips touch her own. The kiss was soft and gentle and Andi pulled back to look at Emily. Emily opened her eyes, wanting Andi’s lips back. “Are you sure?” Andi asked again.

“What does this tell you?” Emily slipped her hand behind Andi’s head and pulled Andi’s mouth to her own. Emily’s tongue slipped into Andi’s mouth and she could feel Andi’s tongue come forward to meet it. Andi’s arms were around her pulling her in tighter. She could feel the firm flesh of Andi’s breasts press against her own. Every fiber in her body was alive with excitement.  Andi was stirring feelings in her that she didn’t even know existed. The kiss seemed endless and at the same time seemed but a moment in time. 

“What about ‘playing the field’?” Andi asked when the kiss broke at last.

“I played the field. Luckily it was a very small field.” 

Andi held her tight, yet with so much tenderness. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, actually it was more like a vacant lot.”

“Well I am very glad you’re done playing in it.” She kissed Emily’s nose, her cheek, her eyelids.

“I’m done playing there, but I’ve just started playing here. Want to play?” 

Their faces were only inches apart and kisses were getting in between the words. “Are you saying you’re only playing?” 

“Playing, kissing, loving, committing, I want all of it. I want all of you. So what do you think?” Her lips went to Andi’s neck and her hands went to Andi’s hair, pulling gently to tilt Andi’s head back slightly gaining Emily better access. She ran her tongue from Andi’s collarbone to her chin. She tipped Andi’s head forward and her tongue continued over the chin and directly to Andi’s mouth. Emily ran her tongue around the edge of Andi’s lips. Emily pulled back just enough to ask, “Well? What do you think? Can we have it all?”

Andi’s hands moved down Emily’s back and cupped her rear. She pulled her in closer and Emily let out a small gasp. “You can have anything you want. Anything.”

“Then I want you.” She pulled Andi’s mouth to hers and kissed her deeply. Her tongue danced around Andi’s mouth and fought gently with Andi’s tongue for space.

Emily came up for air. “Right now,” she said, before making full contact with Andi’s mouth again with a new urgency. Emily’s hands moved along Andi’s back before pulling at her shirt and slipping her hands underneath it. The contact with Andi’s flesh made her fingers tingle. She couldn’t believe the softness of the smooth skin beneath her hands. She could feel goose bumps erupt on Andi’s skin as her hands passed over her. One hand traveled up Andi’s back in an attempt to undo her bra. The other couldn’t wait for the bra to come undone and traveled directly to Andi’s chest, lightly squeezing her breast.

Andi’s fingers entwined Emily’s light brown hair and she pulled gently as she put some distance between her and Emily, breaking the kiss. Emily felt the loss of Andi’s mouth and let out a small whimper of disappointment.  She attempted to lean back into Andi’s mouth, but Andi’s hand holding her hair didn’t allow it. Andi put her other hand on top of Emily’s hand, stopping its movement over her breast.

Emily opened her eyes to look at Andi. Her heart was threatening to beat right out of her chest. Her heavy breathing was matched breath for breath by Andi’s. She tried to ask the question with her eyes because she didn’t think she had the ability to speak yet. Andi didn’t answer and Emily suspected that she might be having trouble speaking as well. 

When at last her heart and breath slowed enough, Emily spoke, her voice breaking.  “Why…”  She cleared her throat and started again.  “Why did you stop?”

“Because I don’t want to rush this. I want this to be right for you.”

“Don’t you want me?” Emily tried to hide the fear from her voice.

“Yes, I want you. But I want this to be right for you. I want us to be girlfriends for a little while before we become lovers.” Her brown eyes darkened with her words.

“So what do you figure? Like an hour?” Emily said as she attempted to resume the kiss.

“I was thinking more like a week,” Andi said, laughing at the shocked look on Emily’s face. She only smiled instead. “We can handle a week.” 

Emily’s face didn’t match her smile. Her lips, slightly red and swollen, longed for more contact. She didn’t feel much like smiling. “I’m not sure I can handle ten minutes. I don’t think I can wait a week.”

Andi kissed her nose. “Yes, you can.” She released Emily’s hand and quickly reached into her own shirt and tenderly pulled Emily’s hand away from her breast. Emily’s fingers trailed over Andi’s skin as she allowed her hand to be moved. Emily could see that Andi was affected by the touch. She hoped that Andi would rethink her decision.  “One week,” Andi said again, this time with a little difficulty. She let go of Emily’s hair and leaned into her for a tender slow kiss before releasing her completely and stepping away. 

Andi stopped and picked up the loaf of bread from the floor. She walked to the counter and opened the plastic container of soup. When she realized that Emily was standing in the same exact spot, not moving Andi said, “Sit down and I will make us lunch.” She tried to keep her voice light, but it came out more than a little husky.

Emily sat in the closest chair. She willed her blood away from her throbbing neither regions and back into her extremities and head. A week. Okay, I can wait a week, that’s just seven days right…or maybe it’s only five days, maybe it would be next Friday, like the end of this week. Should I ask? No, don’t ask, you’ll sound like an idiot. I think you’ve made a big enough idiot of yourself today.

“So when you say a week, do you mean a full seven days or maybe just until Friday?”

Emily looked shyly but hopefully at Andi. Nice!  Didn’t I tell you not to ask?

Andi burst out laughing and Emily couldn’t help but join in. “We’ll see. Okay?” Andi said. “Are you okay?” She went to Emily and crouched down in front of her, taking both of Emily’s hands in her own. She looked up at her and repeated the question, “Are you okay?”

“I’m more than okay. I’m just trying not to slide off this chair.”

Andi smiled, causing her face to break out in a wide grin with dimples in tow.

Okay, I can wait a week for this woman.  I can wait the rest of my life for her. She is so worth it.

“So, I’m pretty sure I heard you say we only had to wait until Friday, right? By the way do you want to have dinner with me on Friday?” It was all Emily could do not to push Andi over backwards and leap on top of her.

“I would love to have dinner with you on Friday.” Andi stood up. “How about we get through lunch today first?” She leaned down and kissed the top of Emily’s head and went back to the business of making lunch.

Chapter 18

Second period on Monday was interrupted by a knock on her classroom door. Emily stopped what she was doing to open it. A very large bouquet of flowers stood there. Red roses, burgundy carnations, pink alstroemeria and baby’s breath began moving forward into the room.  As they entered, Emily could see that it was Mrs. Bowman, the office secretary, carrying them. She set them down on Emily’s desk. “These are for you,” she said, turning to Emily. Mrs. Bowman lowered her voice as if what she was saying was only for Emily, but it was still loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. “The card says, ‘All my love’, and it’s signed with just the letter ‘A’.” 

The class let out a collective giggle. Mrs. Bowman looked a little strange as the corners of her lips tilted upward in to a smile. She winked at Emily. Emily nearly fell over from shock. “A very lucky guy, this ‘A’ fellow,” Mrs. Bowman said. She closed the door behind her as she left the room. The room erupted into laughter.

“Okay, everybody settle down,” Emily told the class. But her smile reached wide across her face.

Emily’s classes were going well but she found herself watching the clock. She counted the minutes instead of the days until Friday.

Emily hoped that she could catch Andi alone in her class room before she left for lunch. She knew that there wouldn’t be much time to be alone while they were working. They both agreed that a public high school wasn’t the place to be showing affection so there would be no touching or sneaked kisses at work. Emily knew that it would take a lot of conscious effort on her part to keep from looking longingly at Andi.

Emily left her classroom as the last student filed into the hall. She took the short trek to Andi’s room and stuck her head in the open door. Andi was sitting at her desk.

“Got a minute?” Emily said as casually as she could.

Andi smiled when she looked up from the papers she was grading and saw Emily. “I do indeed, Miss Sanders. Come in, and feel free to close the door behind you.”

Emily shut the door and walked over to Andi’s desk. “Hi,” she said shyly.

“Hi, yourself.”

“Thank you for the flowers,” Emily said, her voice barely above a whisper. “They’re beautiful.”

“Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady.”

“Mindy wanted me to ask you if you would come over tonight to help her pass out candy for Halloween.”

“Mindy wants me there, huh?”

“Yes, Mindy. Oh, I guess I’ll talk to you too, while you’re there. It wouldn’t kill me, I guess.” Emily tried to suppress a grin, but it broke free anyway.

“Yes, in that case, I would love to…for Mindy. I didn’t get too many kids at my house last year and I ended up eating most of the candy by myself. So I guess it would save me from that fate again this year. What time should I come over?”

“I would suppose the trick-or-treaters will start coming as soon as it gets dark, but why don’t you come after work and have supper with us,” Emily said.

“That sounds great. All right if I run home and change first?”

“I kind of like you just the way you are, but if you insist, I guess that would be fine. Will you be going to the teachers’ lounge for lunch today?” Emily asked her.

“I have to catch up on grading papers,” Andi said, holding up the stack of homework. “But I am going to try to get there if I can. If I don’t see you there, then I’ll see you after work.”

“Okay, don’t work too hard. I’ll see you later.” Emily left the room heading in the direction of the teachers’ lounge.

*****

“Mindy, would you get the door please,” Emily yelled from the kitchen. “It’s probably Andi.”

Mindy got up from the couch and went to answer the door. She let out a sound that was half scream and half giggle when she opened it and saw a giant monkey standing there. It had shaggy black fur, big ears and a red polka dot bow tie. The monkey silently offered Mindy a banana. Mindy put her hands over her mouth and laughed out loud. Emily appeared behind her, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

The monkey offered the banana to Emily. She hesitated a moment before accepting the gift. “Why, thank you, Mr. Monkey,” she said. “Or is it Miss Monkey?” The monkey nodded. Mindy broke out in another round of giggles. “Would you like to come in?” Emily asked the monkey. Again, the monkey just nodded. Emily took the monkey’s hand and a led it into the house. I sure hope this is Andi, she thought to herself. It might not be a good idea to let just any old monkey off the street into the house.

“Andi?” Emily whispered to the monkey. The monkey just stared at her for several seconds before slowly nodding “yes”. 

When they got to the living room Emily said, “Would you care to take your head off?”

Andi pulled the head of the costume off, sending Mindy into another laughing fit. “What kind of a question is that to ask a guest? Would you care to take your head off? And you should be much more careful about who you let into your house.”

“Apparently so,” Emily teased. “Where did you get this thing?”

“What do you mean, where did I get it? I had it hanging in my closet. Doesn’t everyone have a monkey suit hanging in their closet?”

“I don’t,” Mindy said between giggles.

“Well, you should,” Andi told her. “How would you like to put this one on after supper so you can answer the door and pass out candy to all the little kids? They will think you’re a real monkey.” Andi looked at Emily. “That is, if it’s all right with your sister here.”

Mindy looked at Emily. “Oh p..p..please, can I be like a real monkey and p..p..pass out candy. P..please.”

“Sure you can, honey.”

“Can I do it now, p..pleeease?” Mindy asked impatiently.

“How about I take it off now, and you can put it on right after we eat. I promise. That way you don’t have to worry about trying to eat in it. All right?” Andi said to her patiently. She turned around. “Here, Mindy, can you unzip the back for me and I’ll take it off.”

Emily interrupted, “I’m going to go finish supper while the two of you are doing that.”

“Do you need any help?” Andi asked.

“Nope, but you can help Mindy get the candy ready for tonight. Mindy knows where everything is.” Emily went back into the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later they were sitting down to a dinner of ribeye steak, mashed potatoes, salad and peas.

“Andi,  p..p..please pass the peas?” Mindy asked.

 “Sure, here you go.” Andi passed her the bowl.

“Hey, how come you eat peas and they’re mushy but you won’t eat mushy baked beans?”  Emily teased her little sister.

“Cause peas are green mushy. I like green mushy better.” Mindy pushed her glasses farther up on her nose.

“Okay then, I guess that explains it,” Emily smirked.

“Andi how come you are smiling so much today?” Mindy asked her. “Isn’t your face getting tired smiling so big?”

Andi glanced at Emily before answering. “I guess I am just really, really happy today.  Haven’t you ever just had a day when you were really, really happy Mindy?”

“I am really, really happy every d..d..day.” Mindy told her. “But my face can’t smile that much.”  She grinned big to show how much she could smile. “See, this it as much as I can smile. But you are smiling really big.”

“I’ll try to keep it under control,” Andi said. But her smile didn’t lessen. 

“Andi, could you please help me with something in my room?” Emily said calmly to Andi as they cleared the table. “Mindy, would you mind putting the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher and then go wait for us in the living room? We’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Andi threw a look at Emily that said, Are you sure we should do this? Emily’s eyes told her it was fine. She followed Emily.

“I am so sorry,” Emily said quietly.

“What are you sorry for?” Andi kept her voice to a whisper. It made Andi’s voice sound even sexier, if that was possible.

“Because, I couldn’t wait another moment before doing this.” Her mouth crashed into Andi’s, her kiss strong and demanding. Emily’s tongue caressed the inside of Andi’s mouth searching for her tongue. When their tongues collided it sent shivers down Emily’s spine. It felt as if the stars and sun were being created with the kiss and Emily was being pulled into a black hole. She fully intended to pull Andi in with her. Emily gently ran her tongue up to the roof of Andi’s mouth and Andi took that opportunity to slip her tongue under Emily’s. She began slowly massaging the underside of Emily’s tongue. Emily moaned deep in her throat. No one had ever kissed her like this before. She was having trouble remaining on her feet. I need to sit before I collapse, she thought. She started the downward motion onto the bed, but strong arms held her up. 

“Oh, no. No, you don’t. I checked the calendar before I came over here and today is only Monday,” Andi said in a voice so husky and breathless that it took away the little bit of breath that remained in Emily.

Emily’s voice came out as a whisper. “I wasn’t trying to cheat. I’m just having trouble standing.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m telling you the truth. I had no intention of seducing you, at least not with my sister just a room away. It’s the truth,” Emily said again.  “I’ve never lied to you. Oh, except about my feet being sensitive. I made you stop touching them because it was starting to turn me on and …oh, never mind.”

The strong arms remained around Emily. “Oh no, you are going to finish that statement and then we are going to get back out there with your sister before she comes looking for us.” 

“Yes. We should do that,” Emily said as she pulled Andi’s mouth back to her own. It was another fifteen minutes before Emily and Andi emerged from the bedroom. 

Mindy was sitting on the couch with the monkey suit on her lap. “What t..t..took you guys so long. I been waiting forever. I want this on now.”

“Then let’s get it on you. Bring it here,” Andi told her. “You are going to have to take off your shoes. You can put them back on after the costume is on you if you want.”

“No, monkeys do not wear shoes.” Mindy said giggling.

“All right then, no shoes.” Andi helped Mindy step into the outfit and pull it up. She zipped up the back.

“Now the head. Now the head.” Mindy chanted.

“Maybe we should put the head on you when the kids start coming for trick-or-treat.” Emily told her.

“No, now. Can I have it on now, p..p..please?”

“Okay, but you need to take it off if you get too hot,” Emily told her little sister.

“I will. I will.” Mindy jumped up and down. Andi helped her pull the monkey head on, being careful of Mindy’s glasses.

“Can you see in there?” Andi asked. A muffled sound came from the head. “I can’t hear you. Nod your head if you can see.” The monkey head nodded. “Can you breathe in there?” Another nod.  Andi looked at Emily who was trying to suppress a laugh. “I’m going to help you sit on the chair and you can wait for the doorbell to ring. Want me to turn the television on so you can watch it while you wait?” More nodding.

Andi led Mindy to the recliner and eased her down. She turned the television on and found a rerun of Friends for her to watch. Emily sat down on the couch and Andi sat down next to her to wait for the first of the trick-or-treaters to arrive.

Chapter 19

“How much time do we have left?” Emily said to Andi.

Andi looked at her watch. “About fifteen minutes.”

“Then you need to hurry up and put it in. We don’t have all day and you keep missing the hole. I thought you said you were an expert at this.” She shook her head in mock frustration.

“I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive.” Andi teased.

“Then that means you would have done it for the first time when you were like two. Am I supposed to believe that?”

“It’s the truth. I was advanced for my age.”

“Then why are you having trouble doing it now?” 

“You’re making me nervous. You’re too close and I can’t move right. You need to move back a little.”

Emily took two steps back. Andi held the miniature golf putter in her hand and swung at the ball at her feet. It rolled about two feet away, right past the hole. She looked up at Emily who only shook her head.

Andi walked to the ball again and addressed it. She hit it with much less force than the last time and it rolled slowly to the cup, stopping two inches short of it.  

Emily growled. 

Andi took one last hit and the ball went right into the clown’s nose. “That was a bogey, right?”  She said to Emily who was keeping score.

“Umm, let me think. Par on that hole was three. So four would have made it a bogey and let me count here…oh yeah…you took eighteen swings. So in fact, that wasn’t a bogey. Now let’s get going so I’m not late picking up Mindy.”

*****

Dried leaves blew across the driveway as Emily pulled in and waited for the garage door to go up. Mindy had talked the whole way home. She had spent two hours at Daisy’s house after her day at Mirique Works, and she was excited to tell Emily and Andi all about her visit.  They listened patiently and asked questions at all the right places.

“Okay, Mindy, time to go in now. You can finish your story at dinner,” Emily said once she was parked in the garage. The three women filed out of the car and into the house.

“Tell me what to do, honey,” Andi said to Emily as they walked into the kitchen.

“I wasn’t aware that you would need instruction,” Emily said smirking.

“I meant with supper, lady. You need to get your mind on cooking, cause I am hungry.”  Andi’s dimples took over her smile.

Emily tossed a box of macaroni and cheese to Andi. “Here ya go. Get cooking.” She handed her a pan from the cupboard.

Emily’s expression turned serious. “I was thinking I should tell Mindy about us. I’m not sure how much of it she would understand, but I think it would be easier if Mindy knew. As it is now I can’t even hold your hand in front of her.” Emily’s tone turned playful. “What if at some point I want to throw you on the kitchen floor and make out with you?”

“Well, I don’t think you would be doing that with your sister in the house, even if she knew about us.”

“Why not? It’s not as if she isn’t capable of stepping over us if she wants to get a glass of milk.”

“You are so bad.” There were the dimples again.

“Yeah, but you love it.”

“I do and I also love you. Now get out of my way. I have macaroni and cheese to make.” Andi shook the box for emphasis. 

They ate a simple dinner of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. Mindy continued her story about her visit at Daisy’s house throughout the meal. When they finished eating Emily sent Mindy into the living room to start the movies they rented while she and Andi cleaned up the dishes.

Emily cornered Andi in the small pantry off the kitchen and planted several long wet kisses on her, which were readily returned. They were pulled out of the intimate mood when they heard Mindy call them.

Mindy looked up from the movie as the two women walked into the room. “Geez, what t..t..took you so long? I thinked I might have to call the police or something.” Emily and Andi looked at each other and burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?” Mindy asked.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Emily giggled. “Want to rewind this movie so we can all see the beginning? And hop over to the chair so Andi and I can sit on the couch, please.”

Mindy changed seats, pulled the lever on the side of the chair to bring up the footrest and restarted the DVD.

Andi and Emily sat side by side close together on the couch. Emily reached over and turned off the lamp so the only light in the room was coming from the television set. She pulled her feet up under her.

“I almost forgot. Would you like a glass of wine?” she whispered to Andi.

“No, thanks. I have everything I need right here,” Andi whispered back. Out of Mindy’s direct sight, Andi took Emily’s hand.

Emily loved the feeling of Andi’s hand in hers. The softness and warmth astounded her.  When Andi began to slowly run her fingertips up and down her arm, Emily’s breath caught in her throat.

“Too much?” Andi asked, obviously amused.

“You are driving me crazy. I may have to leave the room before I attack you,” Emily whispered directly into Andi’s ear. 

Andi smiled in the dark. She squeezed Emily’s hand and stopped the gentle caressing, as they tried to turn their attention to the movie.

Emily drifted off to sleep half way through the movie and was still asleep as the credits rolled. Her head rested on Andi’s shoulder.

“I going to bed now. Goodnight Andi. Goodnight, sleepy head Emily,” Mindy said whispering the last part.

“Goodnight, Mindy. Have sweet dreams,” Andi answered as the young girl left the room.

Andi would have been happy to spend the night right there with Emily sleeping on her shoulder, but she didn’t think Emily would be too comfortable in the morning if she slept with her neck at that funny angle.

“Emily.” Andi shook her gently. “Emily, wake up, honey.”

“Were we sleeping together?” Emily joked, still groggy as she woke up. She smiled up at Andi.

“I am afraid you were sleeping by yourself.” Andi tipped her head down and kissed Emily’s nose. “Mindy went to bed.” Andi answered the unasked question in Emily’s eyes. “I am going to get going so you can get some rest.” Andi stood. 

“Rest, yes, I need all the rest I can get, because I don’t plan on sleeping at all this weekend.”  Emily stood up and rolled her neck from side to side to work out the kinks. “Oh, and you might want to rest too, because I don’t plan on you sleeping much either.” She gave Andi a sly smile.

“You are so bad,” Andi said, “Now walk me to the door.” She draped one arm around Emily as they walked side by side to the door. 

Andi gave Emily a quick kiss on the lips. “I love you,” she whispered in her ear. She turned and was gone before Emily had a chance to respond. Emily closed the door and leaned against it.

“I love you, too,” she said out loud. Two more days until Friday.

Chapter 20

Emily woke an hour before her alarm clock rang. It was Friday. She was too excited and restless to sleep any longer. She tried to read but after rereading the same sentence six times she gave up trying. She got out of bed and took her morning shower.

Her mind kept moving forward in time to the evening, Andi seated across from her at a nice restaurant, smiling and laughing.  Fast-forward the scene to Andi kissing Emily and removing her clothing as they lay on Andi’s bed.

Emily reached over, and turned the water to cold. I need to cool down this porno flick I have running in my head, she told herself. She let the cold water run over her for a few minutes before turning it back to warm. She shampooed her hair and used the suds from the shampoo to wash her body. She imagined they were Andi’s hands instead of her own. She pushed the thought away. I am going to spend the day in a pool of my own juices if I don’t control my thoughts. I am a grown up, I am not a teenager with raging hormones. I can control my thoughts. I can control my thoughts. How am I going to get through the day when I can’t control my thoughts?

*****

Emily arrived at work at the usual time. She went to her classroom to finish grading artwork and to wait for a teachers’ meeting. The students had the day off and the teachers had a partial workday filled with meetings and workshops. Her first meeting was in a half an hour.

She pulled a stack of pencil drawings out of her desk drawer and affixed a sticky note to each one as she graded and added comments. She was only half way through the pile when she looked at her watch. She had lost track of time and would be late for the meeting if she didn’t hurry.

One workshop, two meetings, and three hours later Emily was heading out of town with Mindy in the passenger seat. The drive to the Waterloo Outlet Mall, half way between Syracuse and Rochester, took forty-five minutes. Their dad was already there waiting, when they arrived. 

“Dad, you look great,” Emily said kissing him on the cheek. “How are you doing?”

His clean shirt was neatly tucked into his dark blue casual pants. His coat looked new and Emily could tell that he had shaved that morning. His recent haircut made him look younger and his smile was genuine.

“I am doing good. I’m still missing your mom like crazy, but I figured I needed to start living my own life again.”  Emily was starting to see her old dad emerge again. It was a great sight.

Mindy came around the car and set her suitcase down. She gave her father a tight hug. “Hi, Daddy. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, kiddo. We are going to have a great weekend. Ever played bingo?” Mindy shook her head no. “That’s okay. I’ll show you how to play. I’ve been going every Saturday night.  I think you’ll like it.” He picked up her suitcase and put it into the trunk of his car. 

“Do you want to get something to eat before you head back?” he asked Emily.

“No, I need to get going. I have some stuff I need to take care of. The food court is over in that corner if the two of you want to get something,” Emily said pointing off to the left. 

“I think we’ll do that,” her father said. “We’ll see you on Sunday. Drive safe.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek. Emily watched them walk away before getting into her car and backing out.

The traffic was light heading east on the Thruway and Emily made good time. She made two stops in North Syracuse before heading home. At the first stop, Vinnie’s Wine and Liquor Store, she bought a bottle of Kendall-Jackson Grand Reserve Chardonnay, 2005. It was a very good year, the salesman told her. The second stop was at The North Syracuse Floral Shop, for roses. Emily knew that different colored roses had different meanings and she knew the common ones, red for love, yellow for friendship but she was unsure of the meaning of the other colors. Emily wanted the flowers to have an underlying meaning and not just play the role of being pretty. 

“The white roses represent innocence and purity,” the middle aged sales woman explained when Emily asked her. I don’t want that color then. Emily thought. “And are traditionally associated with new beginnings,” the woman continued. Oh, actually that’s good…new beginnings…I like that.

“How about the orange roses?” Emily asked.

“Desire and enthusiasm. That color often symbolizes passion and excitement and can be an expression of burning romance. And we also have the lavender roses here. These are my favorites. They are a symbol of enchantment. The lavender rose is also traditionally used to express feelings of love at first sight.” Hmmm, if it was love at first sight, it only took me two and a half months to figure it out. But I like the enchantment part. I am definitely enchanted.

“I’ll take a dozen of each.” Emily pictured herself trying to juggle a bottle of wine and five-dozen roses. “Umm, better make that four red roses and two of each of the other colors.” That would make a dozen even. Andi would be proud of my quick math skills, Emily thought.

*****

“How beautiful,” Andi said looking at the roses Emily held out to her. “Oh, and you look nice too,” she said with a smile, glancing up at Emily, taking in the sight before her. “I take that back. You look stunning,” Andi said with total sincerity this time. Emily was glad she had taken extra time to pick out her clothes for the evening. She settled on a long sleeve dark pink chambray shirt with a ruffle in the front, a black fitted blazer and black dress slacks. Her earrings were Black Hills Gold dangle earrings in a stylishly longer length. She wore a matching diamond accent pendant.

Andi’s outfit was equally stunning in its casual elegance. Her tan button down shirt made her brown eyes appear even darker. Skin peeked out at the top where several buttons were left undone. Her dark brown pin striped pants had a small pleat in the front, and a thin matching brown belt circled her waist.  Brown dress shoes replaced the sneakers that normally graced her feet.

She kissed Emily on the cheek and gave her quick hug. “Come in here,” Andi told her. She took the bottle of wine from Emily and the set it and the flowers down on the hall table. She closed the door behind them and looked at Emily again. “Come here,” she repeated staring directly into Emily’s eyes, her arms opened wide.  Emily was in her arms in two steps. Andi wrapped her arms around her and kissed her full on the mouth, pausing only a moment before letting her tongue enter Emily’s mouth.

Emily melted into the kiss. Everything in her began to throb. She was ready to forget about dinner and drag Andi off to bed now.

“That should keep us for a little while,” Andi said as she let go of Emily.  “But if I don’t stop now, we won’t make it out to dinner.”

“We don’t need to go to dinner. I’m not very hungry anyway,” Emily said breathlessly.

“Yes, we do. We are going out to a nice restaurant and on a wonderful date. I will put these beautiful flowers in a vase and this wine on ice and we can get going.”

*****

The waiter set a plate of Grilled Flank Steak Salad in front of Emily and Angel Hair Pasta Primavera in front of Andi. “Anything else I can get for you?” he asked.

“I think I’m all set, how about you, Em? Need anything else?” Andi said looking at Emily waiting for her answer. The waiter took his leave when Emily shook her head no.

“So, how come you left so quickly on Wednesday night? You didn’t even hug me.” Emily asked the question that had been in the back of her mind since that night.

“I didn’t trust myself. I wanted so badly to hold you and kiss you and…” Andi lowered her voice, “…make love to you. But I didn’t want our first time to be…well, I … I didn’t want to have to try to be quiet because someone else was just in the next room. If you’re a screamer, I want you to be able to scream.” Andi said with a sly grin and a slight blush.

“I have never screamed in my life,” Emily informed her.  Emily’s own blush began to creep up her face.

“Maybe you haven’t ever been with the right person before.”

“Considering I have never been with you, I would say I definitely have never been with the right person before. I know I have never felt love like this before.” She fought the urge to lean across the table to kiss Andi. Instead she reached her hand across and gently ran a finger over the back of Andi’s hand. She could see the effect that small gesture had on Andi. “What do you say we pay the bill and get out of here?” Emily said her voice throaty and low.

“What do you say we eat first?” Andi twirled her fork in her angel hair pasta and offered it across the table to Emily. Emily leaned forward and took a bite. She dabbed at the corner of her mouth with a napkin and caught the drip of sauce that had escaped. 

“You really are beautiful, Emily.” Emily smiled. She wanted to look beautiful for Andi.

“Thank you. I feel the same way about you. In fact, I’m crazy about you. Did I happen to mention that?” 

“Yes, I think you’ve mentioned that a time or two.” 

“Remind me to tell you more often.” Emily took a bite of her grilled steak. “Mmm.” She pointed to her dinner. “This is very good. Would you like some?”

“No, go ahead.  Enjoy it.” Emily enjoyed her food, the company and the thoughts of what was to come.

*****

“Would you like to come in for a drink?” Andi asked as Emily pulled her car into Andi’s driveway and cut the engine.

“I believe I would. Thank you for asking. Let me get the door for you.”

Andi sat patiently with a grin on her face as Emily walked around the car and opened the door. She offered her hand to Andi, who took it and eased out of the passenger side. They walked hand in hand to the door.

Once inside Andi poured two glasses of wine as Emily remover her blazer and hung it over the back of a chair. Emily took a sip of her wine, her eyes never leaving Andi. Andi took Emily’s hand and led her into the living room. Kicking off her shoes, Andi sat on the couch with one leg tucked under her. Emily sat down beside her. Without a word Andi took Emily’s wine and set it next to hers on the side table. She took both of Emily’s hands in her own and looked into her eyes. “Are you sure about this? Last chance to get out of it.”

“Not on your life. I’m sure. Very sure. I want to be with you. I want to be with you in every way.”

“Then I have to tell you that I can’t wait another second. It’s your choice if you would like to join me in my bedroom or if you would like me to attack you right…” The words were cut off by Emily’s kiss. Emily’s mouth left Andi’s long enough for her to move it to Andi’s ear. Her tongue flicked the edge of it as she whispered. “Bedroom.”

Andi rose and pulled Emily up with her. Her arms went around Emily and she pulled her close. Their bodies fit together as if they had been formed for each other. Andi’s hand traveled up over Emily’s back and into her hair as their lips found each other again.

Emily pulled the tail end of Andi’s shirt out of her pants and slid her hand where the shirttail had been. Her hands slid over silky underwear and she pulled Andi closer. Andi made a weak attempt to walk Emily backwards toward the bedroom, but failed. “We aren’t going to make it to the bedroom this way,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Without another word, Emily turned, grabbed the waistband of Andi’s slacks and pulled her towards the bedroom. Once in the room she turned again to Andi and kissed her deeply. Her hands found the buttons on Andi’s shirt. She undid each one and pushed the shirt from her shoulders. It fell to the floor. The bra quickly followed. Emily slid her hands down Andi’s bare arms feeling the softness of skin and the tightness of the muscles below. Emily pulled out of the kiss and looked into Andi’s eyes as her hand found Andi’s breasts. Andi’s brown eyes darkened as her body reacted to Emily’s touch.

Emily couldn’t believe how she felt touching Andi. She couldn’t believe her own boldness, she didn’t seem to be able to control herself. She felt like she had been waiting for this moment her whole life.

Emily’s lips brushed once again over Andi’s before traveling down her chin to her neck and chest. Andi’s breath caught in her throat when Emily’s kisses reached her breast and she took a nipple into her mouth. Her lips and tongue went to work bathing it with moisture while her fingers massaged Andi’s other breast. Andi’s nipples were hard beneath her mouth and hand. 

Emily could feel her own arousal as her underwear became damp. Reaching down her hands found the button and zipper on Andi's pants and quickly undid them, sliding the slacks down Andi's silky smooth legs. Andi pulled Emily's face back up to hers and kissed her deeply as she stepped out of the pile of clothes and kicked them away. 

Andi deftly removed Emily's shirt and bra and let them fall to the floor. In one swift move Emily’s pants and underwear joined the rest of the discarded clothes. A hot chill ran through Emily as Andi’s hands slid up her sides to her breasts. Andi’s hands fit perfectly over them as she gently massaged them. The nipples stood tall to meet the palms of Andi’s hands while Andi’s fingers caressed the sides of the round soft flesh.

Only Andi’s panties stood between the total melding of the two bodies. Without conscious thought Emily remedied the situation, and the remaining piece of clothing landed on the floor. Andi’s fingers worked their way over Emily’s neck until they reached her earlobes. She gently removed Emily’s earrings and set them safely on the nightstand.

“I want you totally naked,” Andi whispered. The sound of Andi’s voice only managed to arouse Emily more.      

Andi’s strong arms circled around Emily as she lowered her to the bed and lowered herself on top. Andi’s thigh came down between Emily’s legs, and Emily let out a moan at the pressure.  The moan was pushed back into Emily’s mouth by Andi’s tongue as her hands once again began exploring Emily’s body.

With each kiss and caress Emily felt as if Andi were breathing life into her very soul. She had never before experienced this depth of feeling. The physical sensations were matched by the emotional feelings of love and closeness she felt for Andi.

A guttural sound escaped Emily’s mouth as Andi’s thigh between her legs was replaced by Andi’s hand. “You are so wet,” Andi whispered in her ear. Andi’s sucked Emily’s earlobe into her mouth and bathed it with her tongue.

“It’s all for you,” Emily whispered back. Her breathing was rapid and her hips began to undulate against Andi’s hand. Without warning, Andi slipped a finger inside of Emily, quickly followed by another. Andi moved her fingers expertly through the slickness. Her fingers settled on the small spongy spot inside of Emily and made small circular motions as her thumb rubbed between the moist folds of Emily’s mound. Emily was overwhelmed with feelings. Her hips matched the movements of Andi’s hand and it was only a matter of moments before her body exploded and spasms took over. Andi’s increased the speed of her fingers’ movements for several seconds before stilling them and letting Emily’s body ride her hand. “Oh God,” Emily moaned before letting small scream escape from the back of her throat.

Andi waited until Emily’s hips stopped moving before slipping her fingers out. She wrapped her arms around Emily and held her until her breathing began to slow and return to normal.

“I believe I heard a scream come out of that pretty little mouth of yours.” Emily could hear the smile in Andi’s voice.

“I can’t believe what you do to me.  I have never…never so fast…never so hard…I…well, I just never.”

“Well said,” Andi teased.

“I’m not sure I can do the same for you,” Emily’s voice was barely a whisper.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Andi said as she pulled the tangled blankets up over them both.

“I want to do everything to you. I’ve just never done it before, so I’m not sure what to do…how to do it.” Emily looked up into Andi’s eyes. 

“Just do what would feel good to you. I just love being with you so anything you do will be perfect,” Andi reassured her new lover.

“Will you help me?” Emily was suddenly feeling shy.

“I will do anything you want me to do. Anything.”

Emily gently pushed Andi over onto her back. Her hand went immediately to Andi’s breast. Her fingers began a slow caress while Emily’s lips found Andi’s mouth. Emily’s tongue washed over Andi’s lips before entering her mouth. Emily savored the kiss. “I thought I would try starting out like this,” Emily said.

“What an excellent way to start.” Andi smiled briefly as her heart rate picked up and her breathing took on a ragged edge. “You’re doing great so far.” Emily kneaded one breast while her mouth and tongue bathed the nipple of Andi’s other breast.

“Oh, yeah, you’re definitely getting the hang of this.”  Andi could barely get the words out as Emily’s mouth began to devour her.

Emily lifted her face to Andi. “I want to taste you. Would that be all right?” Andi nodded and pulled Emily into a deep kiss that left them both gasping for air. Emily pulled the blankets off of both of them, turned her body and lowered her face down to Andi’s hot center. She ran a tentative finger over Andi’s already swollen flesh. She felt a surge in her own body as she felt Andi’s wetness. She heard Andi suck in her breath as she tentatively went down with her mouth and allowed her tongue to find what it was seeking. The smell and taste of Andi was overwhelming.   Emily’s own arousal grew as she found the secret folds and crevices of Andi’s body.

Her instincts took over and Emily moved her mouth and tongue over and into Andi without hesitation. Andi’s pleasure became her pleasure.

Andi’s heels dug into the mattress as her hips rose to meet Emily’s mouth. Her hands came down on the back of Emily’s head and held her there as Andi’s breath became more and more ragged and caught in her throat. Her release came in waves and crashed around her.

Emily moved up to hold Andi in her arms. She curled into her, molding her body to the heat of Andi’s, as Andi slowly came down from the crest of the wave she was riding. She lifted Emily’s chin and planted a moist kiss on her mouth. “For someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing, you sure know what you’re doing.”

Emily could taste Andi’s arousal on her lips.

“I cheated,” Emily said with a sly grin.

“Should I ask?” Andi raised an eyebrow.

“I bought some books and read them cover to cover…a few times. But you made it easy for me.”

“How so?” Andi still held her chin as she looked into Emily’s blue eyes.

“I just listened to your breathing and those other cute sounds that were coming out of you.  I could tell what you liked.”

“Well, I like you.” Andi kissed her again before releasing her chin, and pulling her in even closer. “And I love you, too.”

They drifted off to a peaceful but short sleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

*****

“How come you didn’t tell me how you felt, before I told you?” Emily dragged the back of her fingernails across Andi’s stomach, causing her skin to break out in goose bumps.

Andi thought before speaking. “At the beginning I thought you were straight so I figured that telling you would just scare the heck out of you and I didn’t want to risk losing you as a friend,” Andi paused. “Then when you told me that you were gay, I was about to tell you, but you told me that you met someone, and well, it just didn’t seem right to say anything.”

“And after that? After it was over with Sarah?” Emily looked into Andi’s eyes as the moonlight from the window danced over her face. “Why didn’t you say anything then?”

“You said you wanted to ‘play the field’ and I thought I should let you. But I have been in love with you since the first moment I met you.”

Emily smiled. “You are so full of shit,” she said.

“Okay, maybe not since the first moment, but I did think you had a really nice butt the first time I saw you, all bent over picking up papers.” She kissed Emily on the nose. “It didn’t take me long to fall in love with you. Not long at all.”

Emily’s tone turned serious again. “What if I had met someone while I was ‘playing the field’?”

“Emily, I love you and I want you to be happy. So, if that meant that you were happy with someone beside me, well then, I guess I would have been happy for you. But in all honesty if that had happened, I think a piece of me would have died inside. But I am so glad…so unbelievably glad that you fell in love with me.”

Emily had tears in her eyes. “I wish I had realized sooner. I’m sorry I put you through this. I wish you were the first woman I ever kissed.”      

Andi kissed away the tears as they escaped down Emily’s cheek. “Shhh”, she said. “It’s ok that I wasn’t your first kiss, baby. I am just hoping to be your last. You needed to experience what you experienced.”

“So then I could come back to you whole and complete?”  Emily couldn’t help but smile through her tears.

“Something like that. Besides, now you know for sure that I’m the best.” A broad smile covered her face bringing the dimples out with it.

“A little conceited, aren’t we?”

Andi gave Emily’s ribs a quick tickle. “Admit it!  Admit that I am the best.” She leaned over and glided her tongue up Emily’s chest beginning just above her belly button and around each nipple. “Admit it,” she said, bring her face back up to Emily.

“I admit it. The best.”

Hugging Emily tightly, Andi rolled her onto her back and rolled on top of her. She kissed Emily briefly on the lips before moving downward, leaving a trail of kisses in her wake until she reached the spot she was aiming for. Emily’s hips rose to meet Andi’s mouth and they both moaned as contact was made.

Chapter 21

The curtains were open and warm sunshine filtered through the gap between them, bathing the room in light. Andi awoke from a sound sleep to a soft nuzzling in her ear. She lay still for several seconds with her eyes still closed enjoying the feeling. Her eye opened instantly when she heard Emily’s laugh, coming from across the room. Andi turned her head towards the nuzzling and found herself face to face with Butch. 

“Hey how did you get here?” Andi said to the cat.

“She was scratching on the door of the guest room, so I let her out. I also refilled her food and water bowls in there. And I made you coffee.” Emily held up the cup she held in her hand. “Guess I have to do everything around here.” She had on a white tee shirt and panties. Her long legs and feet were bare. Andi recognized the shirt as her own. It hugged Emily snugly and her nipples protruded slightly through the fabric.

“You poor baby. You must be so tired from doing everything. Come here and let me do something for you for a change.” She opened her arms to Emily. Emily set the cup of coffee down on the nightstand and crawled into Andi’s arms. Butch decided that the bed was too crowded, jumped down and stomped out of the room as if she had been insulted.

“I guess we pissed her off,” Emily said regarding the cat.

“She’ll get over it. She always does…whenever I have a beautiful, naked woman in my bed.”

Emily swatted at Andi. “Hey! Just how many beautiful women have you had in this bed?  Never mind. I don’t really want to know and besides, I’m not naked.”

Andi tugged at her shirt. “Let’s see if we can’t fix that.” Andi pulled the shirt over Emily’s head and threw it on the foot of the bed. “And truth be known, you are the only beautiful woman that I’ve had naked in this bed...the rest were kind of ugly.”

Andi got swatted again. “Hey!”

“I’m just kidding. You are the only woman I ever want in my bed, ever. How’s that.” She kissed Emily softly on the lips. The kiss deepened as Andi’s coffee got cold.

*****

“I’ll make another pot of coffee,” Andi, said pouring the almost full pot down the sink. “Why don’t you sit and I’ll make us breakfast.”

“I think it would be lunch. It’s after one. And I am famished. It’s hard work loving you all night and half the morning.”

“Are you complaining?” Andi asked. She looked at Emily briefly before turning back to the coffee pot to measure out the beans. Emily couldn’t see the huge smile on Andi’s face. Andi emptied the old grinds out into the trashcan and refilled the empty pot with water and poured it into the machine. Butch jumped up on the counter just as Andi pressed the start button on the coffee maker. The machine made a loud noise as the beans started spinning and were ground into small pieces, falling into the filter to wait for the hot water to pass through them. The sound startled the cat and she jumped into the air, spun around and half fell, half jumped off of the counter and ran back to the guest room where she had spent the night.

The new lovers laughed. “I have made coffee in that thing the same way every day for the past year and every time it starts that cat runs. I may have to change her name from Butch to Wuss.” That brought about another round of laughter.

Emily spoke as the laughter died down. “No, I’m not by the way…complaining. I’m not complaining. I could easily spend the rest of my life in bed making love with you. It would just be a short life because we would die of starvation before too long.”  

“I think we would die from lack of water before we starve to death,” Andi said matter-of-factly.

“Do you have to have actual water or would any fluid do?” Emily tried not to laugh as she asked the question. “Cause I think we would have plenty of other fluids.” A small snorting sound escaped through her nose as she suppressed a giggle.

“Oh, you are so bad.  I thought I had a dirty mind, but yours is worse.” Andi threw a wadded up napkin at Emily. “You’re good,” she said as Emily caught it in midair.

“You make me want to be good. I want to be good for you and yes, I am talking in the dirtiest way possible.”

Andi shook her head from side to side. “What am I going to do with you?”

“How about I make you a list of everything you can do with me while you make us lunch?”  She found a pad of paper and pen in a drawer in the island that sat in the center of the kitchen.  She pretended to write. “How do you spell cunnilingus?” Emily asked.

Andi stopped what she was doing and turned to Emily. “If you can’t spell it, you don’t get it.”  She turned back to the job at hand to hide her smile.

Emily stomped out of the room. “What are you doing?” Andi yelled to her.

The answer came from the living room. “I’m looking for a dictionary. I don’t want to risk spelling it wrong.”

“Get your ass back in here, silly. I’m starting to miss you already.”

Emily poked her head into the room. “So you missed me, huh?” Emily felt giddy with happiness.

“Yes, I admit it. I missed your beautiful face and your cute little butt when you were in the living room. That was the longest twenty seconds of my life.”

Andi went back to the task at hand. She assembled two grilled cheese sandwiches in a frying pan, opened up a can of tomato soup and poured it into a small stainless steel pot. After a few minutes she flipped the grilled cheese sandwiches, one at a time. The cooked side was golden brown.  Andi finished cooking the food, put the sandwiches on plates and the soup in bowls, and set it out in front of Emily with a theatrical flair.

“For ma lady,” Andi said with a smile, leaning down for a quick kiss.

Chapter 22

Sunday evening arrived way too quickly for Emily. “What time are you supposed to meet them?” Andi asked as she stood holding Emily in her arms. 

“In about an hour.” Emily sighed and put her head on Andi’s shoulder. Emily tightened her arms around Andi’s waist. She breathed in, smelling the scent that was Andi and placed tiny kisses on her neck.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“Thank you for offering, but yeah, I’m sure. I don’t think I would make it there if you were with me. I would have to pull over at every rest stop and make love to you,” Emily said, between kisses.

“How many rest stops are there between here and Waterloo?”

Emily thought about it for a few minutes. “Two, I think.”

Now it was Andi’s turn to think. “Let’s see, that would be about forty-five minutes of actual driving and an hour at each rest stop…that would put you at the outlet mall…way late.” 

“Only an hour at each rest stop?” Emily smiled and lifted her head to look into Andi’s smiling eyes.

“I was trying to keep you on schedule. Guess it can’t be done.” Andi kissed Emily. “I don’t want to let you go.”

“And I don’t want to leave you,” Emily said, her blue eyes meeting Andi’s brown eyes. “But I have to go pick up Mindy.” They swayed gently while holding on to one another in the wide hallway leading to Andi’s front door.

“Oh,” Emily said as a thought came to her. “Does this mean you have a new toaster oven coming to you?”

“It’s not official till you get a cat.” Andi grinned and pulled Emily in tighter. “Dance with me before you go.” Andi hummed in Emily’s ear as she rocked and swayed her gently.

“How are you doing? Are you all right with everything that happened this weekend?”  Andi said into Emily’s ear.

“I am doing more than all right. How come you’re asking me that?”

“Because I love you, and I know this is all new for you and I want to make sure everything…you…are all right?”      

“I am so happy about this weekend and about you. The only thing that worries me…” She hesitated.

“Yes?” Andi said with a hint of concern in her voice.

“I don’t know how I’m going to be able to keep my hands off of you in school tomorrow.”

“I guess that is going to be a problem for both of us. Should I keep my distance and stay away from you?” Andi teased.

“Don’t you dare!”

“Okay, how about this…when I see you in the hall or the teacher’s lounge or something, I’m going to ask you how your oil painting class is going and that will be code for I want you so bad.  What do you think?”

“And just how is that going to stop me from wanting to put my hands all over you?”

“Oh. Good point. I guess we’ll just have to meet behind the bleachers on the football field and make out.”

“You aren’t helping here, and I hate to do this, but I have to get going.” Emily kissed Andi softly on the mouth, and they walked the few feet to the door hand in hand. She gave Andi a hug and another kiss. “I’ll call you when I get home.”

“Drive carefully. I love you.” Andi leaned against the now opened door.

“I will. I love you, too.” Another soft lingering kiss and Emily left. Andi watched her get into her car and back out before she closed the door and locked it.

The traffic was fairly heavy on the Thruway, which was to be expected on a Sunday night.  Emily thought about Andi each time she passed a rest area. In fact, she thought about Andi on the entire drive to Waterloo.

Chapter 23

The bell rang for the start of homeroom and all of the kids took their seats without a word from Emily. By now they all knew the routine. Emily took attendance without the need to call names.

Emily had gotten very little sleep over the weekend. She should have been tired, but she felt wired and excited instead. She felt as if Andi had touched her very soul this past weekend. The mere thought of what they had done, the love they had made, sent a tingle down from her throat and into the pit of her stomach before settling lower down. 

She knew she had to keep her mind on teaching today and stay focused. She didn’t need her students seeing her staring off into space while her mind was on Andi.

The bell rang again and most of the kids filed out of her classroom and into the hall. Emily concentrated on the sounds of laughter and locker doors opening and closing. Her first period students began trickling in. 

“Good morning, everyone,” Emily said after the bell rang. “Today we are going to watch a movie about Michelangelo and the Renaissance period. Can anyone tell me something about Michelangelo?  Tony?” She called on the boy in the second row who was carrying on a non-stop conversation with his friend Elton ignoring what was going on in class.

“Um, he painted during the Renaissance period?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Asking you?” Tony said. Emily looked at him without responding. “Telling you?”

“Can we narrow it down to one of those two choices?” The other students laughed. She expected certain things from her students. One was paying attention and the other was confidence, both with their answers and with their art. “Try again.”

“Michelangelo was a painter during the Renaissance period,” he said with certainly this time.

“Good. Much better. Now who can tell me something about the Renaissance period? When did it start?”  She looked around the room. “Jamie?”

A look of boredom embedded itself on Jamie’s face as she gave her answer, “The fourteenth century.” 

“Very good,” Emily said. “Jessica, name another artist who was painting during the Renaissance period.”

“Was it Leonardo da Vinci?”  She caught herself and said, “I mean, it was Leonardo da Vinci.”

“Wow, you guys are good. Maybe we don’t need to watch this movie, and I’ll just give you a test instead.”

Emily laughed when the room erupted in moans.

“Steven, would you mind pulling the screen down, and pull the DVD projector to the middle of the room?”

Emily started the movie and shut off the overhead lights as the title came up. She closed the door halfway to prevent the room from getting stuffy and leaned against the wall where she could see the movie as well as keep an eye on the kids. She willed herself to pay attention to the movie. She had watched this movie before, but she needed to be able to ask questions at its conclusion. 

Emily jumped when she heard a whisper directly in her left ear.  “How is your oil painting class going?” The secret code words whispered by Andi so close caused a rush of blood to course through her.

Emily pretended that she didn’t know what Andi was talking about. “This is my art history class. Oil painting is at the end of the day.”

“Oh, I thought you had oil painting classes all day long. Sorry, my mistake.” A few students looked over as the teachers talked in soft whispers.  Emily pointed at the screen and the students turned their attention back to the movie.

“You know I would have oil painting classes all day and night if I could. But hey, I have to make a living, so I teach things like art history.” Emily looked at the clock. “How come you aren’t teaching a class right now?”

“My kids are taking a mock SAT test in the cafeteria so I have a free period,” Andi said. “Did you want to meet me at lunch time behind the bleachers on the football field?” She kept her voice so low that even Emily had to strain to hear it.

Emily spoke softly directly into Andi’s ear, “You are going to make me crazy. I can’t do this here.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I was just trying to get you to smile. Forgive me?”

Emily again whispered very low in her ear. “I want so bad to tell you all about my oil painting class, but I just can’t do it here. I can meet you at your house after work if you would like.”

“After work would be fine. We can go over those umm, test papers you wanted me to see. Will I see you at lunch, Miss Sanders?”

“I believe you will Miss Marino. Have a good day.” She gently pushed Andi out the door.

*****

Emily was already seated at the long table in the teachers’ lounge with her homemade lunch in front of her when Andi arrived carrying a cafeteria tray in one hand and a bottle of spring water in the other. She set the plastic blue tray down on the table in front of the empty chair next to Emily. Emily glanced at the food on the tray, taking note of several dishes. Baked ziti, meatballs, fresh salad, garlic bread and a chocolate chip cookie fought for space on the crowded tray. 

Emily’s eyes left the tray and glanced at Andi as she sat. Andi’s smile covered her face and settled into her eyes and dimples. “A little hungry, are we?” Emily asked.

“A little. I’m eating a large lunch because I need my strength for later.” Andi focused on her food as she took a bite of garlic bread.

Several other teachers milled around the room, poured cups of coffee and sat down to eat. Emily wasn’t sure where Andi was going with this type of talk, but considering they weren’t alone Emily hoped it wasn’t going in the direction her mind was.

“I’m playing tennis after work. I thought I would try a little carb-loading so I could keep my stamina up. What do you think? Think it will help?” Andi’s voice held no hint of flirtation or double entendre.

Emily could play this game. “I just recently started playing tennis myself. I find that I can play on an empty stomach just as easily as a full one. It doesn’t seem to matter.”

“Tennis is a great game. Are you enjoying it?” Andi asked innocently.

“Oh my God, yes.  I love it.  It is great exercise. It gets my heart pumping and my juices flowing.” Oh geez. Emily tried not to blush. I am getting my juices flowing right now., I better stop all this talk about ‘tennis’.

“I used to play tennis all the time.” Ed Hankle sat down across from Emily and joined in the conversation.  “I had to give it up, bad knees.” Emily avoided looking over at Andi.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to suppress the laughter if she did.

Andi continued to enjoy her meal as she spoke, “Wow Ed, that’s too bad.  Do you miss it?”

“I miss it a lot. I lift weights now to keep in shape, but I liked having a partner. I work out by myself. It just isn’t the same.”

Emily thought she was going to die. She realized she was holding her breath.  She tried to let it out slowly without drawing any attention to herself.

“I hear ya,” Andi said. “It is always better doing it with a partner than by yourself.” Without looking at her she asked, “What do you think, Emily?”

“Huh?” Emily pretended to be engrossed in her sandwich, not paying attention.

“Ed and I both think it is better doing it with a partner than doing it by yourself. I was just wondering what your thoughts are.”

My first thought is that I am going to kill you. I am going to end up choking on my chicken salad sandwich if you keep this up. Ed was looking at her waiting for an answer. She took another bite of her sandwich, to give herself more time to collect herself. “Having a partner is good. Why don’t you find a work out partner to lift weights with, Ed?”

Mike Tadd sat down next to Ed. “I’ll lift weights with you,” he said to Ed. “I’ve been doing it by myself for a couple of years now. But I would love to have a partner to do it with.”

Andi was having too much fun with this to let it die. “I think that’s a great idea Ed, you could do it with Mike.”

“They said it’s going to snow on the television.” Emily said trying to change the subject.

“It’s going to snow only on the television? Is it going to snow anywhere else?” Andi teased good-naturedly.

“I think I said that wrong.” Emily smiled at her own mistake.

“I believe that is what you call a dangling participle,” Andi told her.

Emily laughed. “I could have sworn you were a math teacher, not an English teacher.” 

“I minored in English.”

“Well, then,” Emily teased. “Thank you for helping me see the error of my ways. I will never make that mistake again. I am so done with dangling participles. In fact, I am done with anything that dangles.” She could play the game too.

“No problem. Let me know if you need help with anything else…spelling…grammar…tennis…anything.”

“Kind of early for snow,” Ed said, jumping back into the conversation. “But I guess anything is possible in Syracuse.”

“I like to think of it more as everything is possible in Syracuse,” Andi said, this time slipping in a sideways glance at Emily. 

Emily smiled. “I like that,” she said before turning her attention back to her lunch.

*****

Emily sat at her desk in the empty classroom. She had a few things left to grade before heading over to Andi’s house. Her cell phone rang, bringing her attention away from the stack of paintings. She reached into her backpack to retrieve it. 

“Hello?”

“What are you wearing?” The husky voice on the phone asked.

“I am totally naked.” Emily giggled as she gave the answer.    

 Andi did laugh when she heard Emily’s response. “Ooh, that’s what I was hoping to hear.”

“And I was hoping to get an obscene phone call today. So I guess we both made out well.” 

“I just wanted to let you know that Mindy is more than welcome to come with you when you come over today.” Andi dropped the huskiness, returning to her normal speaking voice, which Emily still found extremely sexy.

“That is so nice of you, but I think it might be embarrassing for you when I rip all of your clothes off right there in the hallway. Besides, Mindy has plans for tonight with a friend from the center. So you’re stuck with just me.”

“In that case, maybe I’ll just answer the door naked to save you the trouble.” 

“Oh, it’s no trouble, trust me. I am almost done here so how about I come over in about an hour?”

“I’ll see you then, baby. Bye.”

“Bye, honey.”   

*****

“Damn. I thought you were going to be naked when I got here.” Emily leaned in and kissed Andi as she entered.

“I was just cooking us something to eat and I was afraid of burning something important.”  Andi wrapped her arms around Emily. “Hi baby, how was your day?” she asked her.

“Well, my lunch was a little difficult to get through because I thought I was going to choke on something. But I managed to survive.”

“I’m glad, but you know I would have given you mouth to mouth if you choked, right?”

“I appreciate that, but I think that would have been the wrong rescue technique for choking.”

“I know, but I’ll use any excuse I can to put my mouth on yours.” 

“You don’t need an excuse. You just lean towards me and….” Emily demonstrated.

“Come on into the kitchen so I can finish cooking.”  Andi took Emily’s hand to lead her, but Emily didn’t follow.

“I have something in the car. Let me go get it and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

“Need any help?” Andi asked.

“No, I can handle it.  I’ll be right back.”  She went out to her car as Andi headed back to the kitchen.

Emily came in with a large flat package covered in silver foil, topped with a pink bow. She handed it to Andi when she returned.

“What’s this for?” Andi asked as she accepted the package with a smile.

“It’s for you.” Emily’s shy smile spread across her face into a broad grin. “I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it. What is it?”

“How about you open it and find out.” Emily held her breath as Andi pulled off the bow and wrapping paper. She felt like she had put a piece of herself in that box.

Andi placed the box on the counter so she could lift the lid off. She pushed aside white tissue paper to reveal a drawing framed in dark gray wood with an elegant white linen liner. A pane of glass covered the double black mat and artwork.  Andi gingerly lifted the piece from the box. She recognized it as the drawing that she had seen the first time she was in Emily’s home studio. She lightly ran her fingers over the glass admiring the figure of the nude female.

She looked at Emily. “It’s beautiful, Emily. I love it. Thank you so much.”

“I started this a long time ago, long before I met you. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that I was gay and this was my dream girl. So I guess that would make it a portrait of you.”

Andi set the drawing back down and gathered Emily in her arms. She held her tight and whispered, “I love you.”

Chapter 24

“I think I’m going to tell my dad about me…about us when I go there for Thanksgiving.” Emily’s voice took on a serious tone. It had been almost three weeks since Andi had become her lover. She felt like she was lying to her father whenever she talked to him on the phone or dropped Mindy off for a visit.  She felt that way when she saw him two days ago on Friday evening when she met him in Waterloo. Mindy had a week off from Mirique Works and Emily brought her so she could spend it in Rochester, visiting her father and her friends. Emily would be driving there on Wednesday evening and spending the night at her father’s house. The next day, Thanksgiving they would all be together at her Aunt Mary’s house with a few other relatives

Andi kissed Emily on the top of the head, as they lay naked together in Andi’s bed. “I know that’s not an easy thing to do. Would it help if I was there with you?”

Emily picked up her head from Andi’s bare chest where it had been resting. She looked up into her lover’s face. “I love you for offering, but this is something I need to do myself.”

“Do you know what you are going to say?”

“I’ve run it through my head a million times.” She grinned at Andi. “No, not literally. But I have thought about it a lot and to answer your question, no, I’m not sure. I don’t know what he’s going to say either. If my mother was still alive, I think she would be okay with it. But with my dad, I feel like it’s anybody’s guess. I hate that you and I aren’t spending Thanksgiving together. I don’t want to miss spending Christmas with you, too.”

“I know, baby, me too.” Andi quietly held Emily, softly caressing her skin, offering her no advice for the daunting task before her.

*****

Emily tapped her fingers nervously on the steering wheel as she drove to Rochester. She played the scene out in her head over and over again. She wasn’t sure if she could explain why it took her until the age of thirty-five to figure out she was gay when she wasn’t sure she fully understood it herself. She wanted to at least have her opening line ready before she arrived at her Dad's house.

Dad, I think I’m gay. No, no, I don’t think I’m gay, I know I’m gay. That one won’t work. Dad, do you remember how I never dated much in high school? Turns out I’m a big ol’ lezzy, a queer, a dyke. Come on, Emily, think of something. I met someone, dad, and you are going to like him, cause he is a she. No, I don’t want him to think that Andi influenced me in any way. I need to tell him that I figured out the gay part before I got involved with Andi. Okay, think. How can I do this?

Emily was still running the possibilities through her head when she pulled into the driveway.  It was just beginning to get dark, but Emily could see that the lawn was mowed and her mom’s flower garden had been weeded. The broken shutter on the front of the house was repaired. It looked like Dad was indeed doing better. I hope this doesn’t set him back.

Suddenly Emily felt like she couldn’t breathe as she sat in her car willing herself to go into her father’s house. I can’t sit here all night. I need to go in and do this. Okay here I go. No, I didn’t go. I seem to be still sitting in the car. Okay, now would be a good time to at least open the car door.

Without another moment’s thought, Emily opened the car door and managed to walk to the house. She was just about to knock when the door swung open and Mindy threw herself into Emily for a hug.

“I missed you oh so m..much,” Mindy said while squeezing tight. She took Emily’s hand and led her into the house. Emily could smell tomato sauce and garlic. She followed her nose to the kitchen.

“There she is,” her father said, spooning hot sauce onto a plate of spaghetti. “We ate earlier, but I thought you might be hungry when you got here. Sit, sit. Do you want cheese with this?”

Emily sat at the kitchen table, the same old table that she had grown up with. The worn wood was as familiar to her as her childhood. Her father set the plate in front of her. “No, this is great. I don’t need any cheese.” Mindy handed her a fork and napkin and sat down in the chair across from her.

“Thanks.” The nerves in her stomach were settling down as the warm smell wafted to her nose. She lifted a forkful to her mouth and ate. It brought back memories of her mother and family meals around that very table. Emily ate, making small talk with Mindy and her father.

“That was really good. Thanks.” Emily pushed the empty plate forward on the table and wiped her mouth with the napkin. The anxiety was beginning to creep back in as Emily thought about how to start the conversation with her father. “Hey Mindy, why don’t you go get my suitcase from the car and put it in my room.” She pulled her keys from the front pocket of her jeans and handed them to her little sister. “Would you mind doing that for me? Put your coat on, because it’s getting really cold out. And don’t forget to lock the car when you’re done.”

When Mindy was out of earshot, she looked at her father, leaning back against the counter.

“I really enjoyed our visit this week. Mindy and I had a good time,” he said with a smile on his face.

“Sit down, Dad. There’s something I need to talk to you about.” Tears began to fall from her eyes. She wiped them away and tried to smile. Oh crap, don’t start crying yet. You won’t be able to talk.

His face immediately dropped, the smile gone in an instant. He sat down next to Emily. He didn’t speak, instead waiting for Emily to start. When she hesitated, he said, “Are you sick? Is something wrong?”

“I’m fine, Dad. Nothing is wrong.” She paused.  “At least I don’t think it’s wrong and I am hoping you feel the same.”

“What is it, honey?”

Emily cleared her throat. “I’m gay, Dad.” She looked at him trying to gauge his reaction. 

Several moments passed without him speaking. Emily started to feel hot and sick to her stomach. His smile didn’t return. He looked down at the floor.

“Dad, please say something.”

“I’m not sure what to say. This is nothing I ever expected from you. You decide that you’re gay and I'm supposed to just accept it? Well, I don’t,” he paused and brought his eyes up to Emily. “I can’t deal with this. I am finally getting myself straightened out here and dealing with your mother’s death and you drop this on me. This isn’t right.”

“Dad, I…I didn’t choose this. I…” Emily didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t been sure how her father would react, but she didn’t expect this. Tears flowed down her cheeks. Silence filled the air until it was deafening.

“Emily, you were raised right, we went to church every Sunday, you weren’t exposed to those kind of people. How can you be gay? Never mind. I don’t want to hear the answer. I can’t talk to you about this.” He got up from his chair and left the room.

Emily, stunned, sat in the kitchen slumped in her chair crying for several minutes. She wasn’t sure what to do, but she knew that she couldn’t stay here. She couldn’t spend the night in this house and go to her aunt’s house in the morning. She felt like she couldn’t breathe and she knew she had to get out.

She walked through the living room and past her father sitting, staring at the television screen. She went up the stairs just as Mindy was beginning to come down. “What a matter, Emily?” Mindy asked her.

“I’m not feeling too good, honey. Go on down stairs with Dad and I’ll be down in a minute. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Emily went into the bathroom, washed her face and  blew her nose on a wad of toilet paper. She continued to her bedroom, got her suitcase and headed back down the stairs. “I’m going to go home. Do you want me to take Mindy with me?”

“How come you going home?” Mindy asked her.

“Remember, I told you I’m not feeling well? Do you want to stay here or go home with me?” Emily asked her.

“She can stay here,” her father answered without looking at her.

“Is that what you want, Mindy?” Emily asked.

“I want Thanksgivin’ at Aunt Mary’s house,” Mindy answered.

“Okay, I’ll come back on Saturday afternoon to get you.” Emily gave her a hug and left the house. Her father’s eyes remained on the television as she walked out the door.   

Emily started her car and backed it out of the driveway. Tears streamed down her face.

An hour and a half later she pulled into her own driveway and went into her house. She left the lights off as she passed through each room and went directly into the bathroom, striped off her clothes and stepped into the shower. She had managed to hold off most of the tears on her drive home, but they came out in huge sobs as she let the hot water run over her. She slid down to the floor of the shower, onto her knees. Sorrow overtook her as her tears mixed with the water from the shower and went down the drain.

When she was sure that she had no more tears left in her body, she dried herself off and crawled into bed without bothering with her nightshirt. She fell into a fitful sleep from exhaustion, filled with random dreams of hurt and betrayal.

Chapter 25

Emily awoke with the sun the next morning. She had a headache and her eyelids felt like they were held together with glue. The events of the previous evening came back to her and she thought for a minute she might puke. I no longer have any parents, she thought to herself. Mom is dead and Dad doesn’t want anything to do with me. What am I going to do? I am alone in the world. No you aren’t, her voice argued. “You have Andi and you have Mindy.” she said out loud. But what if Dad won’t let Mindy come back home with me? What if he hates me that much? What if I show up at his house on Saturday and he won’t even let me in?

This isn’t right. This isn’t fair. I finally find myself and I lose my father. It would have been easier to just go on pretending to be what I’m not. This sucks. With that the tears began to flow again and continued until Emily once again fell asleep.

The sound of her cell phone shook her awake two hours later. She was disoriented, not sure where she had even left her phone the night before. She remembered it was in her pants pocket on the floor in the bathroom and decided she would let it ring. She was in no mood to talk to anyone.

She stayed in bed for another hour, but her bladder wouldn’t let her stay any longer. In the bathroom she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen and her hair stuck out in all directions. Guess it’s not a good idea to go to bed with wet hair that you didn’t bother combing. Today you look as ugly as you feel.

She stepped over her clothes on the floor as she left the bathroom, and put on a clean tee shirt and sweatpants from her dresser drawer. In the kitchen she made a pot of coffee and sat at the table waiting for it to brew, empty cup in hand.

Several minutes later, Emily took a sip of the coffee, black, and burnt her mouth. “God damn it!” she said out loud. She added her usual milk and sugar to the cup and brought it into the living room. She turned on the television and sat down. She stared at it as the floats from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade flickered by without taking notice, she was lost in her own thoughts and her own grief.

She had never felt so alone in her life. Her thoughts drifted to Andi, but she knew Andi was spending Thanksgiving Day with her family. She wasn’t sure she wanted to talk to Andi right now, anyway. She felt alone and she was going to wallow in it.

The parade ended and the next program began without Emily noticing. She finished her cup of coffee and ignored the hunger pangs of her empty stomach. Her cell phone rang three more times, but Emily ignored it. Tears randomly fell from her eyes throughout the course of the day as her thoughts became too much to bear.

It was starting to get dark outside when Emily decided to make herself something to eat. She poured cheerios into a bowl added a pinch of sugar and poured milk on top. She sat in the silence of her empty house at the kitchen table to eat her supper.

It was early evening when Emily crawled back into bed and pulled the covers up around her, her box of tissues close by. Sleep came in spurts as she dozed and woke throughout the night.

Friday passed pretty much the same way Thursday had. Her cell phone continued to ring throughout the day and she continued to ignore it.

On Saturday morning Emily showered and dressed. She took her car keys and cell phone from the pocket of her pants that picked up from the bathroom floor. The dirty clothes were deposited into the laundry hamper in her room. She headed out the door and drove to the diner down the road and ordered breakfast.

While she waited for her scrambled eggs and toast to arrive she listened to the messages on her phone. One was from Mindy wishing her a “merry Thanksgiving”. Emily smiled at that one. Another was from Belinda. They had kept in touch since Emily had confided in her about her feelings for Andi. The rest of the messages were from Andi. The first one  Andi said, “I just wanted to call and make sure you got there all right. I miss you. Give me a call before you go to bed. I just want to hear your voice.” The messages after that had a tone of panic in them. The last one said, “Emily, I'm getting really worried about you. I've called you several times now and I haven’t heard back. Please call and let me know you’re all right. I tried to find your dad’s phone number to call him, but I couldn’t find it. Please call me as soon as you get this.”

Emily’s breakfast arrived as she listened to the last of Andi’s messages. She realized she should have called her to let her know what had happened.

She dialed Andi’s cell phone number. It was answered on the first ring. “Hello, Emily? Are you all right? Is everything all right?”

Emily could hear the panic in Andi’s voice. “I’m sorry, I didn’t call sooner. I’m okay. Well, sort of okay. It didn’t go too good with my father.” Emily started to explain.

Andi interrupted her. “I’m sorry it didn’t go the way you wanted it to, but I was panicked here. You couldn’t pick up a phone and call me?” Emily heard the emotion build in Andi’s voice. It was a mixture of frustration, relief and anger. “I didn’t know if you were dead in a ditch somewhere or if you decided to pick back up with Sarah and leave me or what the hell to think. I spent more than two days worried sick over you.”

“I’m sorry,” Emily started.

“If this is the way you treat someone that you love, I would hate to think how you treat someone that you don’t care about. I am so hurt and pissed right now that I don’t even want to talk to you.” The line went silence as Andi hung up.

Emily stared at the phone in her hand. She started to dial Andi’s number again, but hung up before she finished. Oh my God. Shit. Damn. I blew it. I am stupid. I was so caught up in my own pain that I didn’t even think what this was like for Andi. I am such an idiot. I have to figure out how to make this right. I can’t lose Andi.

She pushed her breakfast aside, laid two bills on the table and left, driving aimlessly for a while before pointing her car in the direction of Rochester to pick up Mindy. She was shaking by the time she pulled into her father’s driveway. She sat in the car, certain that she was going to throw up. Leaning back and closing her eyes she swallowed hard several times, trying to clear the feeling.

Suddenly, her car door was opened from the outside. Startled, she looked up and saw her father standing there. She opened her mouth but no words came out.

William Sanders leaned down towards his daughter. “Can you come in so we can talk?” he asked her. She nodded and slid out of the seat. Together they walked into the house.

“Do you want something to eat?” he asked her. She just shook her head. “Can you sit down, so we can talk?”

Emily sat in the well-worn old wooden rocking chair, the very chair her mother had rocked her and later Mindy in when they were babies. “Where’s Mindy?” she managed to ask, as he sat in the chair across from her.

“She’s across the street at Lauren’s house. I wanted to talk to you alone.”

“Okay,” Emily said.

 “I wanted to say I’m sorry. I didn’t react very well when you told me, well, when you told me what you told me.” He cleared his throat. “That you’re gay. I’m not going to pretend that I understand it. But you’re still my daughter and I love you.”

Emily met her father’s eyes. “Why the change of heart?” she asked him, confused.

“I’ve had several days to think about it. To let it sink in. I don’t know much about why someone’s gay, but I do know you. I know you are a good person and if you’re gay it doesn’t change that. I have a question about this,” he said.

“What?”

“Have you always been gay and you just didn’t tell me? Or is this new?”

“I guess I’ve always been gay, but didn’t even admit it to myself until recently. So the realization is a fairly new thing. But when I did figure it out, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It’s a lot of work hiding from yourself. I didn’t want to hide from you too. That’s why I told you.”

Emily decided not to tell him anything about Andi yet. She wanted to make sure she still had Andi in her life. She needed to make sure that she hadn’t destroyed that completely.

“Your mother and I just wanted you girls to be happy.  Mindy seemed to be born with a built-in happiness. Not so much for you. You’ve had your share of struggle and heartache. If part of that is because you’re gay and you have that part figured out now, then I guess I can live with that. ” He leaned back in his chair. “I’m assuming you haven’t told Mindy yet.”

“No, I haven’t. I’m not sure she would understand.”

“Mindy might surprise you, but I’ll let you decide the best time to tell her.”

*****

Mindy talked nonstop for the first half hour of the ride home. Emily suggested that they listen to the radio for a while and she let Mindy turn the dial until she found a station she liked. Mindy sang along with every song that she knew.

Emily knew that she had to keep her mind on driving. The traffic was fairly heavy and the last thing she needed to do was get into an accident. Her mind kept wandering to Andi. The relief she felt that her father had a change in attitude was overshadowed by her worry about hurting Andi. She just wasn’t sure how to make this right, but knew she had to do it as soon as possible. Trying to fix it over the telephone wasn’t an option. It had to be done face to face.

Emily pulled into the driveway. “I’ll help you get your stuff and then I’m going to run over to Andi’s house for a little while,” she told Mindy.

“I wanna go too,” Mindy exclaimed.

“Not this time, Mindy. I need to talk to Andi about something, so please, just help me out and find something to do or watch TV until I get back. Okay?”

“Okay, okay,” Mindy said, the irritation obvious in her voice. She got her suitcase from the back seat and Emily made sure she was settled before getting back in the car and heading over to Andi’s house.

Andi’s car was parked in the driveway. Emily took several breaths to try to calm herself and pressed the doorbell. The door opened and Andi stood in front of her. The screen door separated them. Emily pulled the screen open.

“I am so sorry. I’m a jerk. Can I come in?” Emily’s words came out in a rush. Andi stepped back to let her pass. Emily started again as they stood in the entry hallway. “Please forgive me. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“Come in and sit down,” Andi said walking past her to the living room. Emily followed and sat down in the living room across from Andi.

I am not going to cry, Emily told herself. Don’t cry. Don’t look pathetic, just tell her your feelings. “I love you and I don’t want to lose you.” A tear escaped. She wiped it roughly away.

“Emily, if we’re going to be together it has to be through everything, not just when things are going good for you. If something bad happens to you, you need to share it with me. Not hide yourself away. I can’t take that.” Andi turned her head to the side and Emily could tell that she was struggling not to cry. She turned back and continued, “We have to be there for each other. If I have a bad day, I want to be able to share it with you, too. It’s all or nothing, Emily. Do you get that?”

Emily nodded her head. She swallowed back the tears. “Yes, that’s what I want, too. I've never had that before and I was stupid. I’m so sorry I hurt you and made you worry.”

“Loving you scares me if you are going to run when things get tough,” Andi said.

“I won’t. I’m scared of you not loving me.”

“Loving you was never in question here.” This time Andi did let the tears fall. “But God, Emily!” Andi stood up and turned her back, frustration obvious in her voice, hands clenched into fists.

Emily stood and walked over to her. She slipped her arms around Andi and rested her head against Andi’s back. “Please forgive me.”

Andi turned around in Emily’s arms, putting her hands on Emily’s shoulders. Emily was sure she was going to push her away. Instead she wrapped her arms around Emily and pulled her in close. “I was so fucking scared, when I didn’t hear from you,” she whispered in Emily’s ear. “So fucking scared.”

Chapter 26

“I am going to beat the pants off of you,” Andi said as she shook the dice.

“Promises, promises.” Emily laughed as she counted out fake money to the four players seated around her kitchen table. 

Each player had their own style of dealing with their pile of money. Andi had hers laid out in front of her in several straight neat piles of different denominations. Emily had hers in one big pile, which she held tightly in her hand. Belinda had hers in piles tucked under the edge of the Monopoly board to keep them in place and Andi’s friend Taylor had her money in a pile with each different type of bill laying perpendicular to the bills lying underneath it.

The dice bounce once and then landed on the board as Andi dropped them. “Three!” Andi said with great enthusiasm. “Just try and beat that.” Everyone laughed.

“Would anyone like another beer or anything else?” Emily asked as Belinda took her turn with the dice. The unanimous answer was no.

“Ten,” Belinda said to Andi, “I think that beats your three.”

“Oh, so close,” Andi said shaking her fist, adding emphasis to the drama of her words.

Belinda handed the dice to Taylor. Taylor tossed a strand of long blond hair over her shoulder. Her perfectly applied make-up added magnificence to her already very beautiful face. The pink pleated blouse and gray cotton slacks that she wore fit her slim body as if they were made just for her. She shook the dice with both hands and flung them from her hands sending them across the board a little too hard. One die skidded into Andi’s lap. 

Andi laughed as she handed the die back to her embarrassed friend. “Slow down there. I know you’re trying to impress Belinda here, but don’t be such a bull dyke. You can be gentle. You don’t have to show how macho you are.”

It was obvious that Andi and Taylor had an easy history of teasing each other. Taylor turned to Belinda. “Sorry, Belinda, I was trying to show off my superior strength and sports abilities for you.” She held up a bent arm and made a fist to show her muscle. Her glossy lips broke into a wide grin as Belinda reached over and squeezed her very feminine arm.

“Ooh, very strong.” Belinda joined in the fun. 

Taylor shook both dice again and gently tossed them on the board where they landed softly with just the smallest sound. Seven dots faced up on the two dice.

“So, Belinda,” Taylor said. “Andi told me that you met Emily at speed dating.”

“I did, and when we met up for coffee a month later, all she could do was talk about this one,” she said, pointing to Andi.

Andi picked up the dice and blew on them. “Here ya go, baby, for luck.” She said as she handed them to Emily.

“It might have been luckier if you hadn’t spit on the dice.” She tilted her head and gave her best smile while looking directly at Andi and rolling the dice.

“The spit is where the luck comes from, sweetie.” Andi watched as the dice landed. “See you got a twelve. That spit was really lucky. You get to go first.” She picked the dice back up and handed them to Emily. “Roll like you’ve never rolled before, baby.”

Emily rolled the dice again and moved her little metal car seven spaces and reached for a Chance Card. “Get out of jail free,” she read. She put the card on the top of her pile of money.

Andi took her turn next. She also rolled a seven and placed her game piece next to Emily’s.  “I guess my little dog likes to chase little cars.” Everyone groaned. Andi ignored them and picked up a card. She held it in her cupped hand close to her so that only she could see it. “It says you are a very pretty girl and everyone should pay you a thousand dollars for your beauty.”

Emily grabbed it out of her hand. “Liar.” She read from the card as she giggled. “GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200.00.” Emily reached across and moved Andi’s little dog to the jail square in the corner.

“I’ll give you a million dollars for that get out of jail card.” She pointed to the card on the top of Emily’s money pile.

“You don’t even have a million dollars, and besides my card’s not for sale.”

“How about for trade? Is there anything you would trade it for?” Andi gave her most seductive smile and wiggled her eyebrows.

“Okay you two, you’re going to make me vomit. Play the game or get a room.” Taylor said.

“No trades. I am afraid you are going to have to just cool your jets off in jail for a while.” Emily picked up the dice and handed them to Belinda.

Belinda moved eleven spaces after her roll. “I want to buy it,” she said handing one hundred and forty dollars to Emily to put in the bank. Belinda received the deed card for St. Charles Place in return. “Can I buy houses now, or do I have to go around the board once?” She asked.

“Nope. You can’t buy any houses unless you own all of the property in any color group.”  Andi offered. “Taylor’s turn.”

Taylor rolled a five and placed her iron game piece on Reading Railroad. They took turns rolling the dice and moving around the board. “That’s my property,” Andi said several turns later when Belinda landed on Oriental Place. “You owe me six dollars, exact change please.” Belinda slid two bills out from her piles and put them in Andi’s outstretched hand.

“I think I need the rest room,” Taylor said. 

“Oh sure, it’s just down the ha…here, I’ll show you.,” Emily said as she stood up.

The two women disappeared down the hallway. Andi looked at Belinda and said, “I understand I have you to thank for Emily telling me about her feelings. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate that.”

“I’m sure she would have told you on her own. I was just there to lend an ear. I was happy to help. She loves you a lot you know.”

“Believe me, the feeling is mutual.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Emily asked as she returned looking from one to the other as she sat down.

“Just how lucky I am to have you.” Andi leaned over and kissed Emily on the cheek.

Several hours later, Emily was declared the winner. They left the game on the table as Emily and Andi walked their friends to the door.

“Do you think they liked each other?” Emily asked Andi after they left.

“Hard to tell, I think we monopolized most of the conversation this evening. Get it?  Monopolized?” Andi wrapped her arms around Emily. “I think they are both great people and it would be nice if they hit it off and could be half as happy as we are.” She pulled Emily into a kiss. They walked with their arms around each other back to the kitchen to clean up the game.

“I had a very nice time today,” Andi said. “I like this, fun game, nice friends and the most beautiful woman in the world next to me.”

“Yeah, that Taylor is pretty cute.” 

“I was referring to you, silly.” She pulled Emily into another embrace. “So you think Taylor is cute?” 

“I think she’s damn cute. Of course, not as cute as you.” Emily kissed Andi on the nose.

“No one is as cute as me.”

“No one is as cute as you. Do you want to go start a fire?” 

“I would love to start a fire with you, but won’t Mindy be home soon?” 

“She won’t be home for a few hours and I meant a fire in the actual fireplace. I’ve only used it once since moving in and I was by myself. I would love to sit in front of it with you.”

Andi led Emily by the hand to the cove off of the living room. Emily slipped down to the floor resting her back against the loveseat, across from the stone fireplace. Andi struck a long match along the stone and watched it burst to life with a small flame. She transferred the flame to the corner of the starter log on the bottom of the pile in the fireplace. The log caught and the fire slowly spread to the surrounding pieces of wood. 

Andi sat on the floor next to Emily, the soft rug protecting them from the hardwood floor below. She put her arm around Emily as Emily leaned in and cuddled against her, letting out a contented sigh. “My words exactly,” Andi said, kissing the top of Emily’s head.

The fire leaped to life in front of them and they began to feel its warmth. Emily was feeling another kind of warmth that was far stronger than the fire in the fireplace. She raised her head to the person that caused the fire within by her mere presence. She gently kissed Andi on the cheek and then full on the mouth as Andi turned towards her. 

Emily shifted her position until she was on her back, in Andi’s arms, looking up at Andi. The firelight danced off of Emily’s blue eyes and into Andi’s. Andi softly ran her hand over Emily’s face as she bent her head down and lips met lips.  Andi’s mouth opened and allowed Emily’s exploring tongue inside. Their tongues danced together in a slow waltz.

Emily’s hand brushed through the hair on the back of Andi’s neck, holding her there.  Andi’s moist lips slid against Emily’s, and Andi’s mouth caught the moan escaping from Emily’s throat. Andi’s hand tugged at Emily’s shirt, pulling it from the waistband that held it captive. Her hands slid over the bare skin of Emily’s stomach and around the side of her waist, slowly moving up Emily’s side, leaving a trail like burning embers until it reached the side of Emily’s breast. The fingers moved deftly across the material of Emily’s bra, causing her nipples to stand at attention. Andi’s fingers lingered on the hard nubs before circling them and holding Emily’s full breast into her hand. Andi’s fingers took possession of the hard nipple again. Emily’s moan deepened as the same hand left her breast and in one swift motion slipped down her body and inside the front of her pants. Emily reached down and unzipped them, giving Andi’s hand freedom to move.

Andi didn’t waste a moment as her hands slid first over Emily’s underpants feeling the wetness soak the fabric, and then under the silky material, skin touching skin.  She moved her hand lower to the downy softness of hair and beyond. The wetness coated Andi’s fingers as she stroked Emily with a steady rhythm that matched the rapid beating of her own heart. Emily’s hips rose to meet Andi’s hand. Over and over Andi stroked Emily as the pressure inside her increased. A small cry escaped her lips and tears leaked as she squeezed her eyes closed and her body rocked with her climax. Andi increased the speed and pressure of her movements for a few moments and then stopped, letting Emily’s movement dictate what she needed.

Emily could hear the pounding of Andi’s heart as she laid her head against her lover’s chest, trying to catch her breath. She realized that her cheeks were wet from her own tears as Andi wiped them away.

“I don’t know where the tears came from,” Emily said when she was able to speak.  “I’m not crying. It’s just so emotional for me to be with you. I am just so in love with you.”

“I know,” Andi said, leaning down and kissing where the trail of tears had been. “Believe me, I know.”

“Oh, and by the way…”  Emily looked up at Andi, “…wow!” Andi smiled and kissed Emily gently on the mouth as the fire roared in front of them.

Chapter 27

“How about this one?” Andi asked.

Emily looked the tree up and down. “No. It’s too perfect,” she said and continued down the row of evergreens.

“What do you mean, it’s too perfect?” Andi asked, as she caught up with her.

“It doesn’t have character. It needs a few flaws to give it character.” Emily pulled another cut Christmas tree forward to get a better look at it. It had a slightly bent trunk and more branches on one side than the other. “See how much character this tree has?”

“I’m beginning to see how much character you have.” Andi smiled. Emily swatted her on the arm. “Okay, okay. So is this the tree you want?”

“What do you think?” Emily asked her.

“I think it’s beautiful and has a lot of character.” Andi wrapped her arms around Emily from behind. “I think we should get it,” she whispered into Emily’s ear, sending shivers down Emily’s back. She pushed down the urge to turn in Andi’s arms and kiss her full on the mouth. There would be plenty of time for that later.

“Thank you,” Emily said.

“For what?”

“For letting me get a tree with personality and for loving me.”

“Loving you is the easy part.” Andi gave a tight squeeze before letting her go. “I’ll go tell the guy we want this one.”

Thirty minutes later they were setting the tree up in Emily’s house. “Is that straight?” Andi asked Emily.

“A little more to the left.” Andi adjusted the tree. “No, no, too much.” Another adjustment. “No, it still doesn’t look right. Try turning it a little.” Emily stood back and tilted her head. “You know, I’m thinking that the tree has a little too much ‘personality’ to be straight. Kind of like you,” she smiled.

“Oh, nice,” Andi said letting go of the tree. She grabbed Emily around the waist and pulled her in close for a kiss.

Emily leaned back out of the reach of her mouth. “Wait. This isn’t official,” she said.

A look of confusion crossed Andi’s face. “What do you mean it isn’t official?”

“Well, it’s getting close to Christmas and you want to kiss me.”

“I’m not seeing where you’re going with this.”

Emily pulled out of Andi’s embrace and held one finger up in the air. She looked through one of the cardboard boxes that she had brought up from the basement earlier. She pushed aside various Christmas decorations until she found what she was looking for. She held it above her head.

“Mistletoe,” Andi said.

“Now it’s official, so get over here and kiss me.”

“My God, you’re bossy,” Andi told her.

“You’re right. That was a little bossy,” Emily said. “Let me rephrase.” She cleared her throat. “Get over here and kiss me…please.”

“That’s better,” Andi said pulling her back into her arms. She gave Emily a soft tender kiss on the lips. Emily put her arms around Andi and pulled her in tighter as she returned the kiss with much more passion and hunger.

“How was that?” Emily asked.

“Oh, I like it when it’s official. I like it a lot.”

“I am going to hang this up over there,” Emily said as she pointed to the doorway leading down the hall. “So we can be official over there. In fact, I think I will get a whole bunch of mistletoe and hang it all over the house…your house too. That way we can be official all over the place.”

Emily tacked the mistletoe up over the doorway. She felt the warmth of Andi’s arms around her and Andi’s body against her back. Andi kissed her on the neck. It sent a shiver through Emily. “Got any plans for Christmas?” Andi whispered. “Cause I can think of a few ways I’d like to spend it.”

Emily turned in her arms to face her. “Actually, I do have plans for Christmas that I was hoping would involve you.”

“Oh yeah? Tell me about them,” Andi’s voice was still a whisper. Emily found it incredibly sexy.

“It’s not what you think.”

“And just how do you know what I’m thinking,” Andi said with a grin that brought out her dimples.

“I would venture to guess that you are thinking about you and me and no clothes and a bed and …”

“Okay,” Andi interrupted. “Maybe you do know what I’m thinking. What are you thinking?”

“I told my Dad about you…about us, when I talked to him on the phone yesterday,” Emily said.  Andi looked concerned. She waited for Emily to continue. “He said he was happy for me. He already knew a lot about you, not that you’re my girlfriend, but Mindy happened to tell him that you are her ‘best friend’ and you know how she loves to talk about her ‘best friends’.”

“I do indeed,” Andi smiled. “So your Dad was all right with me being in your life?”

“He seemed to be. He invited you to go there with us for Christmas. What would you think about that?”

“Hmm, let me think about that for a minute,” Andi said and immediately added, “Okay, I thought about it and I want to be wherever you are for Christmas.” She kissed Emily’s nose. “Cause I happen to love you.”

“You do?”

“I do.”

“Well, that works out great then, because I happen to love you, too,” Emily told her. She looked up. “We’re still standing under the mistletoe. Want to kiss me again?”

Andi brought her mouth to Emily and kissed her deeply. They were still wrapped in each other’s arms and their own little world when the front door opened and closed. They didn’t hear Mindy come into the house or into the room.

“What? You are kissing a girl?” Mindy exclaimed. She stood looking at them eyes wide and mouth opened.

Emily pulled back quickly from the kiss. There was dead silence in the room for several seconds before Mindy spoke again. “What are you g..gay or something?”

Emily hesitated. “Yes, Mindy,” Emily said softly. “I’m gay. I’m gay and I love Andi.” She held her breath waiting for Mindy’s response.

“Oh. Okay,” Mindy said as she took her coat off. Emily looked at Andi. Andi shrugged her shoulders.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? Do you have any questions or anything?” Emily was watching her little sister.

“It is fine. My best friend Ellen Degeneres is g..gay, for g..g..goodness sake. What the big deal?” Relief washed over Emily, but wasn’t quite sure her little sister understood.

“So you don’t have any problem with me kissing Andi or being gay. You understand what it means?”

“Yep. I know. I not a little kid you know. Can we d..d..decorate the tree now?” She brought her attention to the evergreen in the corner. “It’s p..p..perfect.” She smiled her bright, crooked smile.

Emily pulled Andi back into her arms and hugged her tight, giving her a quick kiss on the mouth. It was going to be a great holiday.

Also available from author Joy Argento...

Carrie and Hope

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