Lights & Sirens

By

Jeanine Hoffman

Lights & Sirens
Lesbian Fiction: Romance: Firefighter-Medic

Copyright © 2007 by Jeanine Hoffman
All rights reserved.

eBook ISBN:  978-1-934889-78-7
Printed ISBN:  978-1-934889-79-4
Audio eBook ISBN:  978-1-934889-80-0
(Audio sold only at http://L-Book.com)

First Edition
eBook, Print, Audio Format
Published: June 2011

This book is Published by
L-Book ePublisher, LLC
La Quinta, Ca. USA
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Editor:  Judy Underwood

Cover Design by Sheri
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This work is copyrighted and is licensed only for use by the original purchaser and can be copied to the original purchaser's electronic device and its memory card for your personal use. Modifying or making copies of this work or distributing it to any unauthorized person by any means, without limit, including by email, CD, DVD, memory cards, file transfer, paper printout or any other method, constitutes a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines or imprisonment. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions.

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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Acknowledgments

First, another big thank you to Roxanne and L-Book for believing in my characters, my story, and me. Judy, for your efforts to make this into the best story possible for all concerned.

Shari, your covers are always great but you went the extra mile for this one and I won’t forget it!

Two special beta readers, Vic and Athena-thank you for the encouragement. JD, you kept me going on this one-thank you.

Also to my former brethren-the firefighters, EMT's, paramedics, and dispatchers who made up so much of my life for a long stretch of time. Thank you and stay safe!

The kids and volunteers at PRYSM. You gave me a similar sense of aiding my community and friendship when I was missing my EMS days the most. I'm grateful beyond measure that you allow me to share in a part of your lives.

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Dedication

Parker-you have changed my life in ways that you will never fully understand. You make me feel things I've never felt and made me understand some of my former patients just a little bit better. Thanks for being in our lives-but yes, you are still too young to read my writing! I love you!

Sue-the one real reason that I am still here. You have enabled me to find new depths to my soul and helped me continue to stretch my wings and let me fly. A love beyond measure and time. Thrice committed, my love.

Lights & Sirens

CHAPTER 1

RUNNING LIGHTS AND sirens, there's nothing like it on earth. The closest thing I can think of is when you wake up Christmas morning, run down the stairs, and find exactly the present you were hoping for under the tree. Not socks and underwear, but that one cool as shit present that means you will be the center of your peer group for at least a week. That's the feeling I get every time I hear those tones drop off my pager or in the house, the station house that is for you non-emergency folks. I get to jump in my rig, flip those switches, and fly out to help someone in dire need. Truthfully, as often as not, we simply show up to give some frequent flyer a ride to the ER for what amounts to a regular doctor's visit, at the expense of the average Joe taxpayer.

By the way, I'm Chloe, but you can call me Donny, like most everyone else does. My last name is Donovan, and people just shortened it to Donny a long time ago. I'm an EMT-P by trade, what civilians would call an Emergency Medical Technician Paramedic level, or just a paramedic or even shorter, medic. You know, like Johnny and Roy on Emergency! That first look we all got at what it was like in a firehouse and trying to save people's lives. I think my parents knew, even back then, that I'd do something like this one day. There are pictures of me with my face pressed up against our front picture window, watching the ambulances and fire trucks going by when I was a little kid. From an early age, my favorite colors were black and blue, the colors of a bruise.

We were on another call, about the twelfth of the day in a sixteen-hour day, with five of those hours still left to go. It had been a busy shift, but we had a couple of sign-offs so it was a little better than it could have been. I don't mind sign-offs though, it's the first minutes at a scene that intoxicate me. We jump out of the rig, lights still flashing, sirens muted, pulling on our gloves, and grabbing our gear, going in to a scene where our very first duty is to take control.

A basic fact is that people panic. Hey, it's human nature when a loved one is injured or sick. We come in and take over, make the assessments, fix the problems as best we can, before scooping, and loading for a run to the ER. People defer to our uniforms, our crackling radios, and our use of medical jargon. They are in awe of what they don't understand, and that awe allows us the time to figure out what's going on and how best to fix it so that everyone can live another day, us included.

For all the drama of it, there is a simplistic beauty in what we do for a living. We fight the ultimate battle between life and death every day on behalf of those in our care. We either win, or we don't. They'll live, or they won't. We don't always get the call in time to do much, but we make every effort to try, at least to comfort the living left behind.

This time, we pulled up on the scene of a bigger wreck than average. Three cars were involved, one crushed between two others. The fire department was already on the scene, as well as another ambulance crew. We were the second crew on this one, which meant we don't have as much paperwork since we didn't run medical command. I hopped out and grabbed my turnout coat from the spot behind my seat, tugged on my helmet, and gloved up. I grabbed the trauma bag and headed towards the pile of crushed cars while my partner followed with the backboard and litter.

Oh yeah, my partner, forgot to tell you about him. I was with Tony, a probie finishing his supervised ride time with me. He's an okay guy, just young and fresh. He's only twenty-four with one of those almost military haircuts with sandy blond hair, light blue eyes. Tony is also a body builder. He doesn't just lift weights, he does the heavy weights, the special diets, and the muscle shows all oiled up and stuff. He's a decent sort, but he's still young, as I said, so his other interests seem to run to fast cars and fast women. His current passion is an old Mustang convertible he's restoring. He calls it fun. I call it a lot of work and money to pour into an old car. Whatever, it's his thing.

I ran into the Captain on my way to the wreck. "Hey, Cap, what's the scoop?"

"Got a good one for ya, Donny. Take that middle car. We're about to peel the roof to extricate the vic. I got a guy in there holding C-spine, and we got the collar on already too. Had his seatbelt on, the collision was a good twenty miles per hour per side, and he just got sandwiched in a double T-bone."

"Gotcha, Cap, we're on it. Who's the other crew?"

"Spike's got the rest, one sign-off and one for transport, once we get her out of her car." I hefted my bag again and jerked my head towards the wreck for Tony to follow me.

What a mess people make when they don't pay attention. From the looks of things, our patient tried to beat the light and got crunched between two cars going straight through from the other sides at the four-way intersection. Hell, we got lucky! Only three out of four directions were involved. We nodded at the fire crews, and waited while they pulled the roof off the small car, like the lid off a can of soup. Hmm, soup would be good right about now, oh well, maybe after the call we can score some dinner.

Finally, they got the roof off and we looked in the car for the first time. The male patient was still gripping his cell phone like a vise, and looking none the worse for wear, if you ignored the air bag burns. Lucky bastard had one of those newer cars with airbags tucked in every damn spot possible, and it looked like they all fired this time. Shouldn't be too bad, but you just never know, so I always do a full exam, even if it's a fast one. I climbed on the trunk and lowered myself in the back seat along side the firefighter who had stayed with the patient while the roof was peeled.

"Hey, can you hear me? What's your name, buddy?"

The patient opened his eyes and looked up at me. "Mike, Mike Bonds."

"Okay, Mike, I need you to talk instead of shaking your head. Are you feeling any pain or tingling anywhere? Remember to tell me, don't try to shake your head."

"No, I'm okay, just shaken up."

"Well, I tell ya what, I'm going to help these guys get you out of here and onto a long board then onto our bed. We'll take you in to the ER just to be sure, and you can arrange for a ride and stuff from there. Okay?"

He mumbled a yes, probably still too stunned to speak.

"Okay, I need that board in here. I'll take C-Spine as we roll him out. Got it?"

Everyone nodded or grunted at me, so I figured we were good to go. This is something we do all the time and unless there are trainees, probies, or strangers involved, we don't need to talk much to get our job done.

"Ready, one, two, three, roll. One, two, three, slide. Good job, let's get him strapped and into the rig, guys."

We rolled him out and onto the board, slid him up into position, moving his body as one unit. Tony and the Rescue crew strapped and loaded the patient while I double-checked his car for any signs of trauma or personal items he might want with him. Finding nothing, I headed back to the rig.

Tony was already getting a set of vitals, so I started a more comprehensive examination.

"Mike, I'm going to poke and prod a bit, just let me know if anything hurts or feels weird."

Tony finished, gave me his numbers, and climbed in the front to drive us to the closest ER.

"I have good news, Mike, everything looks good. I'm going to put my heart monitor on you, but only as a precaution and part of our protocol. Still feeling okay?" I started peeling paper off the sticky backs of our monitor pads and applying them. White over right, smoke over fire. The white lead over the right side of the chest, the black opposite side of the chest, and the red lead, lower down on the left. A neat little trick I learned years ago, but I still think of it as I apply the leads.

"I'm fine. Was anyone else hurt? Do you know what happened?" Mike asked.

"Sorry, I really don't know much. I know one person felt fine and refused treatment."

He was quiet the rest of the ride, answering questions that I asked, but otherwise silent. That gave me plenty of time to do paperwork and call ahead to let the ER know that we were coming in with a victim of a motor vehicle accident. We pulled onto the ramp of the ER about ten minutes after we left the scene, just as Mike was starting to absorb what had happened.

"This the MVA, Donny? Bed three." Maria, one of the regular nurses greeted me and gave me a room assignment as she passed by us. We transferred Mike to a bed in a cubicle. While I waited for Maria to come over, Tony took the litter to clean and remake it.

"Hey, Donny, sorry for the wait. What do you have for me?"

"This is Mike, Double T-bone MVA, belted, multiple airbag deployment, nothing remarkable on exam, vitals stable, no past medical history. No complaints, just stunned so far." Maria signed my paperwork, I gave her a copy, and headed out to the ramp.

When I walked back outside, Tony already had the litter cleaned, remade, and loaded. The back of the rig looked all put back together. Sometimes, it's nice having a rookie around, they are so eager to get things done. I looked over to the other rig waiting on the ramp and saw that it was Spike, just done with the other patient from the scene. I walked over and bumped into her with my shoulder to say hello. Her partner was Pauline Connor, aka Pauli. Spike was, and is, one of the best medics in the whole county. She got the nickname because she has the most amazing gift for starting IVs. Give her the most spidery, tiny, collapsing vein and not only will she get the line in every time, but she could launch that catheter from across the rig and have it land in position.

"What's up, Spike?" She was also our senior medic, a supervisor with more experience than any of the other medics in our company. Spike is on the smaller side, a mere five-five with slightly shaggy brown hair and intense blue eyes. She had an amazing smile, which she flashed at me.

"Nothing, Donny. Nice job on that extrication. I'm guessing Mr. "I'm in love with my cell phone" is doing well?"

I laughed and nodded. "Nothing wrong with him but stupidity. Yours okay?"

She shrugged and a look of frustration crossed her face. "I guess so, just a shame that such a nice young woman is hurt cause some jackass couldn't put down a phone long enough to drive someplace."

I just nodded in commiseration while our partners came up to us. "I guess we oughta get back in service. What time are you guys off?"

Spike shrugged. "Supposedly, the same time as you. The third crew is swing today."

Swing crew was kept on the streets, theoretically to give the other crews time to turn over the rigs to fresh crews and head home. I say theoretically, because it's a known thing through EMS that no matter how slow or busy the day has been if you have plans after shift, there will be a last minute call.

"Cool, if we meet up at the station, ya wanna grab a beer or something?"

I try to hang out with Spike when I can. I keep hoping her medic skills will rub off through association or something. She nodded and tapped my shoulder in a friendly way, and then we grinned and split off to our rigs with our partners. Pauli gave a little wave in our direction as Tony pulled out around their rig.

"Man, Donny, that Pauli is hot! Do ya think she'd go out with me?"

Tony still hadn't learned that unless you thought it could be serious, you didn't date at the station house. Sure, people had coupled up that way. Our captain met his wife at a smokehouse class he was teaching. She was a recent transfer to our district, and they kept running into each other. Eventually, he asked her out and things went from there, so we know it can work out. It's still not encouraged, but it is understood that you keep playtime away from work, if you catch my meaning.

"Tony, I keep telling you, if you want something real, then fine. Otherwise let it go, dude. Hit on another of those bar chicks you specialize in." I gave him a grin to soften the words, but the rookie had to learn sometime.

"She probably plays for your team anyway," he grumbled.

The truth is, I had no idea what team Pauli played for, as I hadn't ever heard of her dating. She was only two years out of her probie time, probation or rookie year, and seemed to be shaping up as both a medic and firefighter. When she ran fire, she either ran rescue and still functioned in a medical capacity, or she was on the engine and ran hose lines. We're in a system where the ambulances run out of the firehouses, and we're all trained on at least basic level fire skills. Some areas have a separate fire and ambulance system, it just depends upon the area you live in, I guess.

Whatever, I really didn't care about who dated whom at the house as long as they didn't bring drama to our family. I get enough drama in the dyke world, and I sure as hell don't need more. Oh yeah, in case you hadn't figured it out, I'm a lesbian, so if that's a shock, you haven't heard that about forty percent of all EMS and firefighters are gay. I guess we're just drawn to helping people.

Thankfully, we made it back into our area and to the local diner to grab some chow. It's a cool little place that caters to a small group of locals. You almost never see a strange face in there unless it's someone new to the police or EMS.

However, we're talking food now! Food is, at the most basic level, required for nourishing our bodies. However, I think that good food and good company can enhance the effects of nutrition. In other words, I prefer good food to shoveling down a fast food burger.

Thankfully, this diner has a great cook, good prices, which they discount for cops and EMS workers on duty, and they keep our food warm, box it in a hurry, or even give us new food if we get called out during a meal. They know who we are and that we'll come back so they never worry about us rushing out. The owners know that they won't get stiffed for the bill.

They also make excellent soup. That was just the thing for a busy day with a chill in the air. I could already smell it as we walked in, heavenly potato soup with scallions, bacon and cheddar cheese.

Of course, another rule of EMS, tones drop just when you are hungriest and about to solve that hunger with a meal. As we walked in the door, the tones sounded from our radios. I really wanted that soup, but I turned up the portable radio to listen to the dispatch. Thankfully, they were calling the third crew to a call and not us, so we grabbed seats at the counter and gave our orders. While we waited, we nodded at a few people and talked about mundane stuff around the station. Tony started talking about his beloved Mustang, so I kind of glazed over. I nodded occasionally and he never seemed to notice that I really didn't care. He figured since I was a dyke that I should love cars as much as he did, but the truth was, I don't care one bit as long as it can get me from point A to point B in one piece. I have a basic pick up truck that I bought a few years ago to replace my Rav-4. It works, I can haul garden stuff, and I'm happy.

My cell buzzed in its holster, so I grabbed it while spinning on my stool to face away from Tony. It was a back line from dispatch. I wondered what was going on until I remembered that Caitlin was working this shift. Caity is Pauli's older sister and a dispatcher with a lot of time in service. I've actually known her a lot longer than I've known Pauli. First, she was just a voice on the radio or phone if I had to call into dispatch for information.

We met one time on a call when she was an innocent passerby and saw a wreck and stopped to offer aid. I knew her instantly by her voice. Later, I called in to dispatch to get our times and she answered the phone. We started talking about the patients from the wreck and the next thing I knew ten minutes had passed. Ten minutes doesn't seem like a lot to civilians, but to me that's a huge chunk of time to have to myself during a busy shift. We've gotten pretty close over the years, hanging out and doing things together.

I answered my phone with a greeting for my favorite dispatcher, and was surprised when Caity didn't respond right away. I knew something was wrong, so I tried again.

"Caity, are you there? What's going on?" I heard a muffled cough and then a sniffle before her voice came on the line.

"Sorry, Donny, I'm gonna bail on you tonight. I feel like crap. I think I have a head cold coming on."

"That's okay, Caity, just drink a lot of OJ, and get some sleep. Did you want me to bring anything over for you? Soup, tea, me?" I said it with a grin, but I knew I meant it. I would certainly have taken care of her while she wasn't feeling well, but there were certainly times, well most of the time lately, that I wouldn't mind us getting a lot closer.

She laughed. "That's the best offer I've had in a week. Didn't you plan on us hanging out with some of the crews though? I don't want to keep you from your plans. Besides, you take care of sick people all day."

I put a stop to that nonsense right away. "Caity, I see them all the time. We practically all live together here anyway. I'd rather see you. Besides, it's different taking care of someone you know instead of some random stranger. Let me come over, I have homemade chicken soup in my freezer that is yours for the asking."

I knew I was sort of wheedling my way in, but it was worth it to me. We have been getting a lot closer the past year, but I still don't know if that is closer as friends, or closer like we might end up as lovers. She agreed to my bribe of soup, so I promised to swing by my house and then go over to her place when I got off shift. Her shift ended an hour before mine, so it gave her time to get home as well.

Hanging up, I swiveled around and found my soup and my partner waiting for me. Oops, I guess he overheard at least part of that conversation. A major rule in life: Never let the probie know much about you until you figure out what kind of medic they will evolve into eventually. I already figured Tony would be a good medic, but now I'd never hear the end of it if he suspected I was after Pauli's sister.

Of course, he asked about the call. "So, who was that on the phone? Hot date cancel on you?"

"Wise ass! That was Caitlyn. She can't join us tonight because she's sick. I'm bringing her some soup and juice later."  I don't know if he bought it, but he shut up so we could eat in peace.

* * *

I pulled into Caity's driveway and parked behind her beat up Ford Explorer. She lived in a nice little single ranch style house on the edge of suburbia with a small, but nicely kept front yard. She had left the garage door open, so I let myself into the house.

"Caity, where are you, woman?" I admit it, I was bellowing and the size of the house didn't warrant it, but I was having fun. I heard a muffled response from her bedroom and for just a minute, I thought of going in on the pretext that I thought she could be hurt. I decided discretion is indeed the better part of valor and went into the kitchen to heat up the soup. As I was banging around, digging out a pot to boil noodles, Caity walked out looking freshly showered and adorable in navy blue sweats. I know, sweats aren't exactly erotica material to most, but I love a woman who is able to look comfortable in her own skin. Sweatpants mean the wearer is either happy with themselves or just doesn't give a rip. Her short dark brown hair was in slight disarray and her hazel eyes were tired and slightly bloodshot. Her cute nose was red from too much tissue abuse. It was time to take matters into my own hands!

 "All right, go get comfy on the couch. I put a box of those tissues with lotion on the table for you, and a wastebasket near the table. I'll finish heating the soup and get you some juice." She shook her head, smiled and did as she was told.

"I don't think I have any juice," she said.

"That's okay, Caity. I didn't think you would so I brought my own. Orange Mango in fact, quite tasty and chock full of vitamins to help you get better quickly."

"You’re too sweet, Donny. I don't understand why some cute woman hasn't laid claim to you yet."

Little did she know, a woman had laid claim to me, and I was honoring that claim by taking care of her when she was sick. Yeah, I know, I'm a romantic sap at times, but beneath the chest of every tough girl, beats the heart of a marshmallow. I brought out the soup and juice then went back to the kitchen to grab my own. When I got back, I saw her sitting up and looking at me with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Did I ever tell you that I require egg noodles in my chicken soup?" she asked.

"Um, you might have mentioned it at some point, I guess. I like it that way too so I brought a bag with me." I started to blush because while I wanted her to realize that I was into her, I didn't want her to get it if she didn't feel the same way. Subtle, yeah, that's what I wanted.

Okay, I'll admit it. I am a major chicken shit! I didn't want to come out and tell her I'm interested because if she isn't I might mess up a great friendship. Plus, can you imagine the crap around the station if Pauli finds out and doesn't like that I hit on her sister? I was just playing it safe, yeah, I'll keep telling myself that story.

Caity ate her soup, looking over at me occasionally, but then she would just go back to her soup. For my part, I was fine with that. It meant fewer questions in my head about how to answer her. When we finished I gathered up the dishes and  loaded them in her dishwasher, then got more juice for us and went back in to her.

"So, why didn't you want to go out tonight, Donny? You love hanging out with everyone. Did something happen?" She asked as I handed her the juice.

Aw jeez, she thought I had a bad day! "No, nothing like that. I just didn't want you home alone when you were sick. We both know you don't cook when you're sick, and you would have gone to bed without eating. Besides, I haven't seen you much lately, with all the doubles we've both been pulling, so I thought it would be cool to catch up." That sounded believable and was actually the truth, well partially at least.

She chuckled. "You know me too well. I love cooking but it's too much bother when I don't feel well. I know it's just a head cold, but I'd rather be hungry, than exert myself. Thanks for thinking about me." She reached out to me but withdrew her hand to grab a tissue as she sneezed.

"Bless you," I responded automatically as I moved closer to hand her another tissue if she needed it.

"Thanks. I didn't feel that one coming. Hey, you don't want to get too close. I would feel horrible if you got sick too."

"C'mon, we both know that at this point you aren't contagious." However, I moved anyway since I didn't want to push my luck. Tonight felt different, like maybe, she was catching on but didn't know what to make of my interest. Of course, it could just be that she didn't feel well. Who knows? I don't claim to understand women just because I am one. Things mellowed and we talked about work, before shifting to the latest camping gear coming out for the new season. As winter drew to a close, we both felt the pull of the woods and couldn't wait to get back out into nature. One of the cool things about EMS work is that you work a few really long days, and then get several days off in a row so it's not a problem to get away for a three or four-day stretch.

I took off and headed for my house once Caity started yawning. I made her promise to get some rest and to call me if she got worse. I pulled into my driveway and sat there a minute, listening to the engine ticking as it cooled down. I gave a sigh and headed inside. As expected, the house was empty and there were no messages waiting for me. It was close to two years later, and on nights like this, my house still felt large and empty around me.

I guess I should explain, since you weren't around for it, but I used to have a live-in girlfriend. I still remember the night we met, I had been about to get off duty when one last call came in. I was on with Spike that day, about six years ago. I was still a pretty new medic back then, only just over a year on the job.

When we got to the scene we saw a woman, maybe about twenty-eight or so, holding the screen door open for us. She pointed us towards the bathroom. It's a fact, more people code in the bathroom on the john than anywhere else in the house. She told us that she didn't know how long the patient had been on the floor, but she didn't want to move him in case he was injured. We found an elderly gentleman on the floor with his eyes open. He had a pulse, and he was breathing, though it was a bit shallow and rapid for my liking. We got him into a sitting position after doing a quick exam to rule out any physical injuries. We put him on oxygen and the heart monitor before we determined that while he wasn't critical, we should transport as soon as possible. I left Spike with the patient while she started a line, and I walked out to get the litter and talk to the woman who let us in.

She was standing in the living room gathering medications and paperwork for us. "Excuse me, miss, but do you have any information about the patient? Name, age, medications, past medical history?" She turned and handed me a bag of medications and a stack of paperwork about an inch thick.

 "That should have everything in it, but this was my first visit to his house. I'm Karen, a visiting nurse from St. Mary's Hospital." She has amazing eyes, the kind of greenish blue that remind you of really clear seawater, diving in just looked so appealing. I reminded myself that I had a patient to care for.

"Okay, thanks. Are you riding along to the hospital? If so, I'll have you sit up front with me." Yeah, it was a shameless attempt to get more time with her, but she was hot with a capital H. She looked to be about five-nine, reddish blond hair pulled back in a no nonsense bun, and she was wearing dark blue scrub pants with a matching scrub top with those slip on clog things that nurses seem to favor. She was either blessed with a good metabolism or she worked out. It's hard to tell for sure behind baggy scrubs, but her arms looked toned to me. Besides, that is why I find scrubs so hot. You can get a general feel for the person wearing them, but for the most part, they hide the physique. Taking them off someone is like unwrapping a surprise package.

"Well, he is my last patient of the day, so I was planning on heading back to the office but maybe I should go in with him. Just in case, I guess."

I silently gave a whoop of gratitude and gallantly showed her to the front seat of the rig then grabbed the litter to bring to my partner. We loaded the patient and locked the door behind us as we maneuvered the litter to the back of the rig. I hopped in the front to take us in to the hospital.

I chatted with Karen while I drove, learning about her career and that she was single for the past year. I was getting signals from her that she might be interested in me as well, but it was hard to gauge. Besides, my gaydar has never functioned well. I'm even slower to realize when someone is interested in me. I was certainly interested in seeing what was beneath those scrubs she wore so well.

When we pulled up to the ER, I jumped out and helped Karen out before going around and helping Spike with the litter and patient. Once we got the patient transferred to an ER bed and signed over to someone else's care, I walked over to Karen to let her know we were heading out. Then it dawned on me, her car was at the guy's house!

"How are you getting back to your car?" I'm not the most suave of people, but hey, at least I showed an interest.

"I guess I hadn't thought that far ahead. I'm sure I can catch a cab or call someone at my office to come get me once he's settled in."

There was the cutest frown line forming between her eyebrows and I was struck with an irrational urge to kiss it away. Instead, I offered an alternative in transportation options.

"I'm off duty now, all we have to do is drop the rig off and I'm done. If you'd like I can come back and pick you up to take you back to your car." Part of me was praying she said yes, the other part was terrified that she would say yes.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be any trouble and you must be tired by now."

I assured her in my most chivalrous manner that rescuing damsels in distress was what I did best. She blushed faintly, but smiled and agreed to wait for me to give her a ride back to her car.

Back in the rig, I filled Spike in on my plans, and she offered to restock the rig when we got back so that I could freshen up and go rescue the cute damsel. She gave me a grin and teased me the whole way back to base about women swooning at the site of my uniform. Little did she know that I was the one enamored of Karen's uniform of scrubs and all they hid from my interested eyes.

A quick wash of my face, a brush of my teeth, and I was in my car heading back to the hospital where I had left the lovely Karen. I parked and re-entered the ER through the EMT doors and quickly found Karen still sitting with her patient. She gave me a bright smile, and my heart did a little flutter.

"Hey, told you I'd be back in a flash! How's he doing?" I thought it only polite to ask even though my entire being was focused on Karen now.

"Better, they think it was a mild infarct, and they are moving him upstairs to CCU soon. He's been asleep, and besides he doesn't know me, so it's safe to leave. I did call his family and they're on their way." She gave me a weary grin and continued, "The good news is that my supervisor is giving me until Thursday to get the paperwork in since I have off the next two days."

 "Me too. Since we're both off, I suggest we spend tonight relaxing. Could I interest you in joining me for dinner?"

She looked at me with one eyebrow raised and a quizzical expression on her face. Suddenly, it seemed as if she had made up her mind about something and she shook her head no.

My heart plummeted like a stone to my gut, and I tried to play it off. "Okay, no problem, I'll just run you to your car and then I'll grab dinner." As if I was going to be hungry after getting turned down by my Aphrodite of nurses.

"Donny, I wasn't saying no to dinner, just no to going out. I'm still in scrubs." She gave a small laugh, "You know you're still in uniform too, it does kind of limit where we could go."

Damn! I hadn't thought of that, I was just thinking of getting to see what was under those scrubs! Thankfully, I had an inspiration to salvage the night!

"Well, there is a killer chef available who doesn't have a dress code. If I can get us in would you be interested?" I smirked knowing that I could get a seat any time.

She gave me a skeptical look and asked, "What kind of food? And how do you know we can get in?"

"Tonight's specialty would be Chicken Piccatta with angel hair pasta and the house salad, served with a nice white merlot. I know we can get in because I have the key." I dangled my key ring in front of her and showed her my house key. I knew I had all the makings for the Piccatta at home and I had already thawed some chicken so I was set.

"Uh huh, and who exactly is our chef of the evening?" she asked with a grin.

I started to lose my nerve a bit but continued with my plan. "Me of course! Haven't you heard about firehouse chefs?" I paused, realizing I might be coming on too strong since I still wasn't positive we were both batting for the same team. "Look, it's no hassle to toss a little extra salad and add a chicken breast to the pan. You've had a rough day and I liked talking to you in the rig earlier. I don't know about you, but I don't get to meet a lot of people who understand the jobs we do."

Karen thought about it and agreed with me. I was nervous, but excited, as we headed out to my sturdy Rav-4. She smiled when I opened her door for her and my heart fluttered. I went around and got in, offering her full control of the radio and CDs, not something I usually relinquish so easily. We rode back to her car, and then she followed me to my house. When we got there and parked, I opened her car door for her and asked if she needed help carrying anything inside. What can I say? She made me want to be a bit more butch for some reason. I'm usually pretty middle of the road with the whole butch/femme thing, but for some reason I felt protective of her. Maybe it was me still being in uniform. She smiled and declined as she took a small backpack from her backseat.

"I've got it. It's just my usual mess of stuff. I don't carry a purse but my backpack does great double duty." She nodded towards the house that I had just purchased last year. "Is this all yours? It's really nice!"

I blushed a little with pride. I had scrimped and saved, and pulled as much overtime as I could to get the money together to afford this place. I waited until I had enough of a down payment that the monthly payments would be reasonable before making the leap to home ownership last summer. It was larger than I needed for just me, but I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. I spent my free time renovating and refinishing the woodwork, making the old Victorian look darn good for her age. When we entered, I gave her the quick tour before I started dinner.

"Let's start at the top of the house and work our way back down," I suggested. Karen agreed readily, leaving her backpack by the door. As we climbed the steps I saw her run her hand over the old fashioned banister in admiration.

"This is gorgeous! I can't believe it looks this good after all these years!"

I flushed with pride. "I actually replaced the old one, but I carved it to look just like the original."

We reached the top of the stairs and I turned on the hall light to show her the upstairs.

"That is so cool! You have the old-fashioned button switches!" She looked concerned for a moment, "Please tell me the wiring isn't the same age as those buttons?"

I laughed. "Nope, it was all updated about ten years ago. The previous owner liked the old style and found someone to upgrade them to handle the new wiring. I loved them, so I kept them."

I showed her the first two bedrooms, one of which I had converted into an office space.

"How many people live here?" asked Karen.

"Just me. I know, it's big but I just loved the place. Plus, I got a great deal on it. The plaster and floorboards needed a lot of restoration. I set up the other rooms in case I get visitors or something."

She smiled, but didn't say anything else about it. When we went back downstairs, I showed her the living room, dining room, and the smallish den.

"I really love the den. It seems to be very you, Donny."

I cocked my head to one side and I must have looked puzzled.

‘I mean, it has those great built-in bookcases, leather club chairs, the maroon carpets. It just feels old school and safe. I feel safe with you, just like in this room."

I felt the blush rising in my face and tried to redirect us. "I'm getting hungry. Ready for some firehouse chef work?"

We headed back into the kitchen, and I had Karen sit at the table so we could talk while I worked. Before I got started, I removed my duty belt, my uniform shirt, and the Kevlar vest I wore, leaving me in just my dark blue EMT T-shirt. I felt her eyes on me and apologized for my impromptu striptease as I explained that it was both hot and heavy wearing all that gear. She shook her head and smiled to herself before almost whispering,

"I really don't mind, but I thought you looked great in that uniform." I felt my eyebrows shoot up and a smile crossed my face. Perhaps I had been right about that mutual attraction after all.

"Well, if you wish, I could always put the shirt back on after I get the food ready," I offered only slightly teasing. She shook her head and sipped from the glass I had just given her of the white merlot.

"I think what you're wearing is just fine and easier to cook in. I wouldn't want you uncomfortable."

It started to feel a little warm except I hadn't turned the oven on yet. Perhaps it was those eyes following my every move as I got dinner together.

We talked as I cooked. While the chicken simmered ever so gently, I added the pasta to the water and set the timer. Then I popped the skillet with the chicken into the oven to finish and stay warm.

I put together the salad and made a quick vinaigrette, set the table and drained the pasta when the timer went off. "Dinner is ready m'lady," I said with a slight nod toward her and the table. I joined her after retrieving my own glass of wine and made a toast. "To new friends!"

Her expression faltered a bit then her smile regained its strength. "To gallant knights rescuing damsels in distress," said Karen as she touched her glass to mine.

I felt a slight blush creeping up my neck and hurried to serve her some salad and pasta. She looked at me with a grin on her face while my heart started racing. If this woman wasn't flirting with me then I needed to check my eyesight. I made some lame comment about the food, but she groaned appreciatively after taking her first bite.

"My God, Donny! Why hasn't anyone snatched you up yet? You're respectful, you do something amazing for a living, and you can cook!" She took another bite and looked over at me as she chewed. "You aren't hiding some major flaw or physical defect are you?"

I shook my head and chuckled. Did I dare flirt back? She was so hot and all I wanted was to pull those scrubs from her and see what lay beneath. "Well, nurse, I don't know about flaws but as far as physical defects I'm pretty sure I'm in good shape. Want to find out for yourself?"

That was it. I had put it out there and made the move. Time seemed to stand still for a moment as my heart pounded in my chest and my palms grew damp. I had no appetite for food. I had no appetite for anything but that lovely nurse in her scrubs.

Karen stood. After taking a sip of her wine, she put the glass down carefully. She moved towards me and pulled me to my feet. "I think I would require a very up close and personal exam to verify your physical status. I wouldn't want to do a shoddy job for one of our female firefighters now, would I?"

My heart felt like it would fly right out of my chest as she took one of my hands in hers and guided me to the bedroom with a quick stop to get her backpack. I would have followed her anywhere but now I was a little nervous about the backpack. Pushing it from my mind I asked, "Um, Karen? Are we going to do what I think we're going to do? I mean, you're gay too, right?"

She threw her head back and laughed. It wasn't a mean laugh, just one of enjoyment. Smiling at me, she had me sit upright on the edge of the bed, and she rested her hands on my shoulders after dropping her pack on the foot of the bed. "Oh yeah, I'm a card carrying member of the family and we are going to do whatever you feel comfortable with doing. I've been interested since you first asked me for the paperwork at that house. You looked so strong and powerful in your uniform, so confident, yet caring. I was drawn to you immediately. That's why I went in the ambulance with you and not in my own car. I was trying to figure out if you were gay."

I started to laugh because the irony was amusing. "We were totally on the same page. I have a thing for women in scrubs and I think you fill yours out wonderfully. I thought you weren't into women so I was trying to be subtle."

It was her turn to laugh. "If you had been anymore subtle I would have thought I was coming home to meet your husband and kids. But it's all okay now, we worked it out and we're both interested in the same thing." She looked at me inquisitively and I nodded, words having failed me for the moment. "I have to ask one thing first, what's your real first name? I'm not sure I can make love with someone named Donny." As she said that, she leaned in and started to kiss around the pulse in my neck ever so gently.

"Chloe, its Chloe. Oh God, that feels so good!" I moaned. "Call me anything you want, just don't stop doing that!"

Karen leaned in and kissed me gently then slowly deepened it until I was breathless. She had moved her hand from the hem of my shirt up my ribcage to just under my breast. I moved my head so I could start nibbling on her neck but she stopped me with a look. I would have been confused but there was a look in her eyes that said I should just play along.

"Not so fast Chloe! First, I must examine you for physical defects, remember?"

Oh yeah, the game, I had forgotten about that but hey, having a physical from a hot nurse couldn't be too bad. She pulled back and rummaged through her backpack obviously looking for something. She pulled out a stethoscope and some other items I couldn't see, since she put them on the other side of her bag.

She had me sit right on the edge of the bed and she started by listening to my lungs with her stethoscope. Next, she had me breathe deeply while she watched my chest move. She decided to move the exam along but she told me I needed help removing my clothing. She had me stand up after I removed my boots and she reached for my belt buckle slowly undoing it and removing it from my uniform BDUs. She let it drop as she reached for the buttons of my fly, slowly undoing each one with care until they fell off of me and I could step out of them. I was left in my T-shirt and briefs while she still wore her scrubs. She reached out and pulled my shirt over my head with the ease of someone who helps patients dress and undress all day. Next, my bra and briefs joined the pile of clothes on the floor and she had me lay down on the bed for my exam.

She kicked off her clogs and took off her socks before joining me on the bed. Karen knelt over me and started her examination. Starting with my head, she massaged my scalp and neck then followed with light and gentle kisses. She moved down my neck to my chest, bypassing my breasts with nipples so hard they almost hurt. She continued her pattern of "examining" with her hands followed by her mouth as she worked down my abdomen. She checked each quadrant in detail before starting down my legs; again, missing the parts I really thought should be examined in depth. She rolled me over to check my back which received more of a backrub than an exam. One of the items I hadn't seen was a bottle of warming massage oil and she used it liberally on my back and legs, blowing on it as she worked her way down my body. Finally, my body was totally relaxed though excited. I was dripping wet and ready to move this to a more intimate exam.

I was moaning and sighing at her ministrations as I felt the whisper of her scrub shirt as it brushed against me. She allowed me to turn back over and face her. I reached up and unfastened her hair. It was gorgeous and silky, the reddish blond color matching well with the dark blue of her scrubs.

She looked at me with a teasing expression in her eyes, "Do you want me to finish your exam now or wait a while?"

I moaned as her hands brushed lightly over my nipples. "Now, please Karen, now!" I couldn't help myself. I needed to know what she felt like inside of me. She lightly covered one of my breasts with her mouth as she caressed the other with her hand still slick from the oil. She switched sides and one hand started wandering down to the junction between my legs. I felt her fingers parting my lips and moaned as she slid in my wetness. She groaned as well as she found the base of my clit and started stroking up and down the shaft. She shifted so that she could tease around my opening with two fingers before suddenly sliding in.

"I think I need to visualize the exam site," she said as she moved her head down to join her hands. She started lapping up my juices as she moved deep inside of me adding a third finger to her efforts. I felt so full; so incredible that I never wanted it to end. I raised my head and watched this vision in blue scrubs lapping away at me and lost my mind. My hips started bucking and I was shouting her name as I had the best orgasm of my life.

When I calmed down, she slowly slid out of me and joined me at the top of the bed. She held me tightly as the aftershocks continued.

When my body calmed I turned to her. "You forget that I do examinations too! Now it's my turn and I hope you aren't too attached to those scrubs. Medics don't undress people, we cut their clothes off." I reached for my trauma shears from my spare duty belt on the chair near my bed. I went slowly, cutting through the seams so I could discover the beauty hidden beneath the scrubs.

I moved down her body, leaving the remnants of her scrubs on, but lifting up the fabric where I had cut it open to access her skin. Her body writhed under my touch and I decided not to make her wait too long. Instead, I thrust my hand beneath her panties to find the wet heat I was craving. I started circling her clit with my thumb as I moved two fingers into her tight opening. I could feel her body tightening and knew she was getting close. I moved faster and harder, stroking her clit in time with her thrusts until suddenly she arched and screamed. I gentled my strokes as she finished her tremors and slipped out of her. I leaned over and gave her a kiss before asking, "Did I pass my exam?"

She moved in with me about five months later and she moved out about two years ago. We were together almost three years when she was offered a teaching job and took it without consulting me. Unfortunately, the job was across the country and when she finally told me about it, she had less than a week before she was moving out there. According to her, our relationship had been falling apart for some time and she felt trapped. This was a way to make a clean break and not run into each other all the time. My heart broke because I had still loved her and thought we were doing fine. Karen never said anything until that last week and then, well, I don't like to talk about it. That was my only serious relationship and ever since I've been kind of gun shy.

Caity is the first woman I've thought about as more than a casual date since Karen, but I'm too afraid to tell her, so I doubt it will go further. I tell myself that I don't want to risk the friendship. I mean that part is true but I'm even more afraid of getting in too deep. I wasn't sure my heart would recover after Karen and I don't know if I can take that pain again. Besides, while I know Caity is gay, I don't know how she would feel about dating me.

CHAPTER 2

WAITING AROUND THE station for a call can be relaxing, fun, or boring. Today was boring and I wasn't having much success taking a nap. I had already worked out in the station's gym, cleaned my gear, and washed the rig. After surfing through all the TV channels twice, I decided to call Caity and see how she was doing. The problem I had was that Pauli was my partner, and I wanted to make the call without her being in the same room. I finally decided to walk outside with my cell phone and gave her a call at home.

"Hey, Donny, how's your shift?"

The problem with caller ID is that you can't surprise anyone anymore. "It's a slow day and I was thinking about you. I just wanted to see how you're feeling."

"I'm good. I shook the cold a few days ago. It must have been your soup. Thanks again for taking care of me."

Now I was starting to blush a bit as I felt my pulse rate speed up. "So, since you're better and off from work, do you want to pay up on that rain check you owe me? I was thinking we could have dinner and maybe check out a movie or something. You in?" I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. I was nervous about her answer and I couldn't seem to calm down.

"Sure, sounds good! Do you want me to meet you some place or will we ride together?" she asked.

"I think I'll just pick you up. I'll shower and change here, then come get you when we go off shift. It's only another hour at most unless the other crew gets tapped. Your choice of movie tonight, so you can figure it out in the meantime."

She chuckled before answering. "You might be sorry you said that since there's a new foreign film at the Art Café!" She paused a beat. "No worries, I wouldn't put you through it. I know how you feel about reading movies."

Boy, was she in for a shock! If this didn't tell her, I wanted more than friendship I might actually have to say something sometime. "Actually, I knew about it and was going to suggest it since I know you like those movies. I'm trying to expand my horizons. Let's check it out tonight. You find out the times and I'll pick dinner based on that when I pick you up, okay?" She sounded surprised but she gave me an affirmative, and we hung up.

I knew I had a silly grin on my face, but I couldn't help it. I was feeling good about things, and I even thought about trying to hold her hand during the movie to state my interest in her. Of course, having just made plans, the house tones went off. I grabbed a pen and my notepad and copied down the address, time of dispatch and nature of call as I walked to the rig. Then I realized, we weren't the crew dispatched! Of course, this meant we were next up if the other crew needed backup or a second call came in, so I paced and studiously avoided looking at the clock until I heard the boisterous sounds of our relief coming in the door. I tossed the keys to one of the guys, gave him a rundown of the other crew's status, and ran upstairs to the showers and bunkroom.

Since this was a fire station with both genders represented, the old bunkrooms had been divided and a second shower room installed. I grabbed the stuff I would need from my locker and headed for the showers. Pauli came up just as I was starting to strip down and opened her locker.

"Hey, where are you going tonight? You're taking a shower? Got a date?" she smirked as she asked her questions.

"Um, not really, I just thought I'd take a quick shower since I won't have time to stop at home." I avoided all mention of a movie as that could lead to questions about which movie. Everyone knew that I didn't go for subtitled movies and I didn't want her to suspect anything. I mean, this was her sister I was thinking about dating. She seemed cool about her sister being a lesbian, but I still wasn't sure what side of the fence Pauli was on. I also would understand if she weren't thrilled about me dating her sister, not that this was a date, since she hadn't seen me in a relationship and she might think I was just trying to score with her sister. As if I would wreck a friendship, possibly two, for a piece of ass.

I knew I could go to a bar and pick someone up for a quick physiological release of sexual tension. I'd partaken a few times since Karen had left me, but I found it empty and unsatisfying. I knew I wasn't going to find a life mate in a bar, so why bother with the pretense? But I digress…

Pauli just looked at me, then shrugged her shoulder and told me to have fun. I almost ran into the shower and dove into my clothes when I was done. I grabbed my gear and headed for my truck before anyone could ask me to hang out. I was on a mission!

* * *

By the time I got to Caity's house, I had convinced myself that tonight was the night to be bold and let her know I was interested in more than friendship. That is, it was the night if I didn't chicken out or make a complete fool of myself first. I took a deep breath and went to the door, which opened before I got to it. Caity stood in the doorway looking gorgeous in black slacks and a dark blue button down shirt worn open over a white tank top. Damn! I could feel the heat rising in me as I stared at her. For some reason my mouth went dry and it took me a minute to speak. Caity gave me a smile and motioned me inside.

I finally managed a hello as I stepped inside, being careful not to brush against her as I entered. She said she was almost ready so I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water while I waited. I didn't have a long wait; as soon as she slipped on her shoes, she was ready. Caity told me we had about two hours before the movie which fit my plans for dinner perfectly.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going or am I supposed to guess?" asked Caity. She looked over at me her hazel eyes curious but I thought that there was a glimmer of something else there, and then it vanished.

I decided I must have been seeing a reflection of light. I shook it off and answered her. "You get to find out when we get there, but I promise you'll like it." I knew she would too; her favorite Hibachi style place was about a ten-minute walk from the movie theater we would be going to later so it made it a perfect choice. We had plenty of time to enjoy the show the chef's put on as they cooked the food on the tabletop grill in front of us.

We talked about daily life stuff as I drove and found parking. I purposely parked closer to the movie than the restaurant. That way it was easier later but also, she wouldn't know where we were going right away. I love surprising people and I hoped she would reward me with that heart-stopping smile again. As we walked, she kept bumping into me with her arm but I didn't mind the contact at all. She grinned delightedly when she realized where we were going for dinner.

"Donny, you are so awesome! You really are being accommodating today, aren't you? A film with subtitles and my favorite restaurant? You're so sweet, thank you." She reached over and gave me a quick hug. I almost fainted from the jolt I felt as we touched. That was something new. I had felt jolts before, but this was like a lightening strike. She seemed to pause a moment and I wondered if she felt it too, but when she pulled away her face was composed.

"Let's go in and get seated. We have plenty of time before the movie starts and I'm hungry." I was trying to behave normally but for some reason I was feeling sparks flying. I didn't know how to handle it, I was too afraid to get hurt again. The pain would be immense if Caity rejected me, and I wouldn't be able to talk about it with my friends at work since her sister was in the same station as me.

"Donny, what are you thinking of having? Everything looks great. Do you want to share a sushi appetizer with me?" A larger group was seated with us to complete the eight-person table. I had my menu in front of me but I was too busy thinking to make up my mind.

"Sure, whatever you want is fine with me. I think I'll just have the steak and chicken combo. I can never make up my mind so I'll get both." I refocused on the woman sitting next to me and risked a look into her hazel eyes. They danced with light and humor as she watched me.

"Why don't we get the sampler sushi appetizer. It has two pieces each of three different rolls. That way we don't have to decide on just one kind. I think I'll have the steak and chicken too and keep choices to a minimum tonight."

She has always understood that as a medic I have to make hundreds of decisions a day that can affect the life and safety of my crew, my patients, and myself. Outside of work, I try to give myself a break and just let things happen. Caity has said that she doesn't have the same problem since they follow a cue card system at dispatch, but I think they still have a lot on their hands every shift.

After our drinks arrived and we placed our orders, I started to feel awkward. I think I was seeing this as a date but it was supposed to be two friends going out to dinner and a movie. What the hell was I thinking? How did I allow myself to get trapped in this quasi-date hell? These were the questions running through my mind when Caity surprised the hell out of me.

I felt a warm hand reach over and grip mine lightly in my lap. I looked up at her with shock and more than a little fear. Caity looked a little surprised at herself but she didn't flinch as I looked at her.

She just smiled at me shyly and said softly, "I've been trying to get your attention for a while now. I finally decided I had to be bold since you weren't getting the hint." She paused, then took a deep breath. "I like you, Chloe, as more than just a friend. I think you like me too. Am I right?" She gave me a shy smile and waited for me to say something.

I was dumbfounded! Caitlyn Connor was holding my hand and announced that she liked me! I just sat there like an idiot trying to get the words to form and I stuttered like a rookie at their first real fire scene.

"You, I mean, I… oh, what I'm trying to say is—" I couldn't make the words form properly. Damn it, Donny, get your head out of your ass! I finally managed a coherent sentence, as her hazel eyes grew dark with concern. "I'm so glad, Caity, I was too scared to tell you, but I've liked you for so long now." It finally burst forth in a rush, much like the first blast from a hose before the nozzle has been adjusted properly.

A look of relief came over her face and she tightened her hand around mine briefly. I sat there grinning like a fool and not really knowing what to do next since we were at a table with six strangers in a crowded restaurant. I could hardly grasp the knowledge that we were holding hands or that Caity actually had feelings beyond friendship for me and yet here we were.

Just then, our appetizer arrived and we focused on the food, releasing our hands way too soon for my liking, however, there was the promise of more to come.

* * *

Dinner flew past in a blur of showmanship by the chef and hurried eating before I grabbed the check and we left. Once outside I felt awkward again, even more afraid to hold her hand now that I knew she wanted me to do so. I just stood there not knowing what to do and apparently, I looked as awkward as I felt because Caity moved closer to me. She guided me to one side of the doorway. She looked at me with eyes that I wanted to lose myself in, yet was almost afraid to meet for some reason.

"Donny, it's okay, I know I kind of sprang it on you. I took a chance that you felt the same way because you agreed to the movie tonight. When you chose one of my favorite restaurants for dinner, I felt as if you were trying to tell me something and I was hoping this was it." She paused, looking nervous suddenly. "You said you felt the same way when I told you but now you're nervous. How can I help? Should we skip the movie and go to my place to talk about things?"

I had no idea what to do or how to react. My mind was frozen in shock but at the same time a million things spun out of control in my head. What was she looking for? Was this meant to be a friends with benefits thing or did she want a real long-term relationship? How do I move past this lump of ice in my gut telling me to run away so I can't get hurt again? All of that went through my mind quickly before I gathered myself again. I took in a deep breath and calmed my mind before finally opening my mouth to answer her.

"I promised you a movie to read tonight and I meant it, but I do think we should talk. Can I give you a rain check on the movie? I promise to come see it with you later this week or next week if you want before it closes."

I really did want to talk to her not just ditch the movie. The way I see things, and always have, is that you have to try to take on some of the interests of the person you are with or you have nothing to share and you aren't growing. So, while I don't understand the appeal of those movies, I figured it was worth it to spend the time with Caity.

Caity smiled gently and took my hand in hers. "I appreciate your willingness to go with me, but I really think a private talk is more in order tonight. If you feel more comfortable, we can go to your place."

"No, it's fine, we can go to your place. Thanks, Caity." I smiled gratefully and started walking with her towards the truck. It was a quiet drive back to her place. I had some background music on, and we both pretended to listen to it as we drove. We held hands the whole way, sending tingling sparks up my arm and straight to the nervous flutter building in my stomach.

* * *

We settled on her couch with hot tea and theoretically were ready to talk. I say theoretically as neither one of us made a move to actually say anything, and we both sat like prim schoolgirls on the edge of the couch, holding our tea. I nervously set my mug down on her coffee table and turned towards her. My heart pounded as I reached out for her hand, which she willingly gave me after putting down her own mug. We turned to face each other and finally made eye contact. Her hazel eyes looked into my green ones and we connected. I felt it and I knew she felt it too. Not knowing how else to proceed I decided to just start talking. I can do this, I reasoned, this is one of my closest friends. There is no reason I can't talk to her now!

"Caity, I'm not sure what to do about this. I've liked you for a long time now but you know my history with Karen. I've been too afraid to tell you because with you, I would get serious and I'm not sure I can handle anyone else breaking my heart."

I paused to gather my thoughts and took a sip of my tea before I continued. She must have sensed I wasn't done as she seemed to be waiting for me to go on.

"I'm scared of this, Caity, I don't want to lose you as a friend, I don't want this to affect things with your sister at work, or between the two of you. I don't want to get hurt again and I don't want to hurt you if I can't be what you want or need."

"Donny, instead of telling me what you don't want, why don't you tell me what you do want? You might be surprised by it but I am willing to bet that we want a lot of the same things. In fact, I know you and I know that we do. Let me prove it to you, all right?"

I hesitated for a few seconds before I answered her. I was petrified as I realized that this woman could totally destroy me if I let her any further inside of me. I also recognized that my life would be so very empty without letting her in to try. "Sure, prove away."

"We both want a long term relationship with a woman who can be our best friend and lover for life. We both want to continue in jobs that allow us to help others in times of urgent need. We both want stable and happy homes where friends and family are welcomed in with no questions asked. How am I doing so far?"

I looked for any signs in her face that this was a cosmic joke but found none. Of course, I wanted those things, didn't everyone? I said as much to her and waited for her response.

"Yeah, most people want those things, but you and I share more than just that stuff. We both dream of camping all over the country, we both love dogs, cooking, and being cozy for a quiet night at home. We also both enjoy going out with a group and being rowdy, kicking back and having fun. And right now I want, more than anything else, to kiss you like you've never been kissed before."

She leaned over and gently kissed my lips, slowly sliding her tongue over my lips before going inside to tangle with my tongue. Her hands moved so that one was tangled in my hair and the other held me closely around my waist. All I could feel was warmth and electricity coursing through my system as we continued to kiss. When we finally broke contact Caitlyn looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes. "Any more complaints or reasons why we shouldn't try to find happiness together?"

I moaned and leaned in again for another kiss. We made out slowly starting to move our hands over each other's clothing, exploring territory that I had never believed could be mine. When Caity started to move her hands under my shirt, I stopped her and sat up.

"Wait, Caity, I can't do this," I said. "It's moving too fast for me. I thought we were going out as friends tonight and found out that you want to date me." I looked over at her carefully, "You do want to date right? Not just sleep together? ‘Cause I'm so not into friends with benefits." Fear grabbed a hold of my heart for a moment as I waited for her to answer.

"Of course not! I mean, yes, I want to date you, not just sleep with you! C'mon, you know me better than that. I've never been a player. And we can wait as long as you need to wait before we sleep together, it isn't what I'm after." She chuckled and flashed a grin at me. "Well, not all that I'm after at least."

I relaxed a bit and moved my body so that I was leaning against her on the couch with her right arm around me and I held her left hand with my left hand. I felt her relax against me and couldn't help but notice how exactly right this felt. We fit so well together. We were almost the same height. She claimed to be an inch taller but I think she was counting her boots. I couldn't help but let myself believe that this could be a possibility. We might actually fit together for real. Of course, being me, I had to ask another question.

"What about your sister, what are we gonna tell her? I mean, I have to work with her so I can't deny it, besides she's bound to find out sooner or later." I was aware that dating one of our own's family members was almost as risky as dating one of our own.

"Don't worry about her, I'll tell her the next time I talk to her. I think she's going to be fine once she thinks it over. At first she might be pissed off though."

CRAP! Just what I didn't need, to have one of our medics upset with me. "How mad at me will she be? Any idea?"

"She's not going to be mad at you, Donny. She's going to be pissed as hell at me! She's been warning me off you for months, and I go off and do what I wanted to do after all. I know some of it is that she looks up to you, but she had a major crush on you when she started at the firehouse, and she's bound to have some of that pop up and cause a little jealousy."

Now my head was spinning way too quickly. A crush on me? Pauli had a crush on me? Damn, looked like there was more going on than I thought, and I wasn't sure what to do about it.

"I didn't realize she's a lesbian, Caity, or that she had a crush on me. What should I do about it?"

Caity shook her head and held me a little tighter for a second. "No, she's not a lesbian, she's bisexual. She's had boyfriends and girlfriends since she started dating. She's simply attracted to the person and not the gender. I think if I talk to her, she'll be fine once that initial flare up passes. When do you work with her next?"

I reviewed the roster in my head., "Tomorrow and then not for about a week. How am I going to work all shift with her tomorrow? Damn, this is going to be difficult, isn't it?"

Caity gave me her best smile, leaned over and kissed the top of my head. "Yeah, but I think it's going to be worth it in the end."

CHAPTER 3

I'M SURE YOU'RE wondering how it went working with Pauli that day. Truth is we were so busy we didn't have much time to talk anyway so it worked out. When she did find out a few days later, she showed up at my house to talk to me. That was when the real fun started for me.

She pulled up outside my house while I was outside cutting the grass. I'd just finished and was putting away the mower, but I was moving kind of slow since I'd been thinking about Caitlyn. Pauli got out of her truck, a big black Ford Explorer, and came over to me as I wiped my hands off with a towel and closed the garage.

"What's going on, Pauli, did we have plans or something?" I knew we didn't and I knew why she must be there, but I didn't want to come out and ask if she had a problem with me and her sister.

"I think you know why I'm here, Donny. I spoke to my sister last night. I took the night to think things over before deciding to talk to you about it. Do you have some time now?"

Well, that was surprising! She was still talking to me in that same polite manner that she always used. She wasn't steamed or screaming at me. I was grateful, as I didn't want a scene in my driveway on my day off. I waved her inside, kicking off my grass-covered sneakers in the doorway, and slipping off my socks as well. As I padded towards the kitchen, Pauli followed me and sat down at the table. I grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the fridge, tossed her one, washed my face and hands at the sink before grabbing a clean dishtowel to dry off.

Finally, I sat down, ready to deal with Pauli's visit. "Okay Pauli, I knew your sister was going to talk to you so I'm sort of ready for this, but please try and go easy on me. The whole idea is almost as new to me as it is to you." I took a swig from my water bottle and nervously played with the label as I waited for her to say something.

Pauli leaned forward so that her elbows were on the table, her spiky blond hair drooping a little as she locked her hazel eyes on me. Her eyes were so like her sister's and yet so vastly different. Where Caity's were clear and open to be read, Pauli's were darker and it felt like there was a door slammed shut when I looked into them.

In a level tone of voice she said, "Donny, I've suspected for a while that you had a thing for my sister but I didn't think anything would happen. You of all people preach about the code of not sleeping with members of the family. She's a dispatcher and she's my sister. Either way that's like sleeping with a cousin or something. What's gotten into you?" She leaned back, still staring me down, daring me to answer her.

"You're right, I know you're right. I don't know if anything would have come of my feelings if your sister hadn't made the first move."

Her jaw clenched, I could see the muscle in her jaw contract. I took a deep breath and counted as I exhaled to relax a bit.

"I've liked her for a while, but I was too afraid to do anything about it. The truth is, we aren't sleeping together, we're just starting to date. I'm scared, Pauli, more afraid than I've ever been about anything. I don't want to mess things up. You know how I always say don't sleep with members of the family unless you think it could be really serious?"

She nodded but didn't relax.

"I think this is serious, Pauli, that's why I've been too afraid to do anything about it. I had a rocky break-up not long before you joined the station, and I didn't take it too well. I decided not to get involved again because I didn't want that kind of pain in my life."

It was my turn to lean forward and lean on the table. I looked her dead in the eye and continued; "I think your sister could be it for me, for life. We're good friends with an attraction to each other. I hope it doesn't bother you that we're dating, but I can promise you two things. One, I will always do my best to take care of her and never hurt her. Two, whether or not you approve, she's worth fighting for, and I will keep seeing her." Then I sat back and sucked down some more water, waiting for the dam of Pauli's emotions to burst forth.

Instead, she remained calm, still leaning back in her chair as she looked me over as if assessing a trauma scene. "I'm going to keep an eye on you, Donny. I believe you and I trust you, but she's my sister, you know? I had to come over and ask. I had to see for myself how you really felt. We're good, but don't you dare hurt her, got it?"

I nodded and stood up when she did. I followed her to the door and waited there as she left. Once she was gone, I leaned against the wall with a sigh of relief. I couldn't believe that Pauli had actually come over to ask my intentions!

Pushing off from the wall, I went upstairs to take a shower before heading over to Caity's house. We were planning to cook on the grill, and she said she had a surprise for me. Surprises have always made me nervous, and she knew it. I think that had something to do with her pleasure in it, the making me nervous part. As if I wasn't already nervous enough. Ah well, what else could I do but go find out my fate?

* * *

I arrived a few minutes early and went around back to the patio where the grill was located. Caity's eyes lit up when she saw me coming. I wasn't used to seeing that, but I was sure my own did the same. I had a bag in my hand and she frowned at it but came over to give me a quick kiss and hug.

"What's that, Chloe? I thought I told you not to bring anything?" She had started using my given name more often the past week or so. She said that Donny was a good name for a friend, but she didn't want to spend her life calling out Donny's name when there was a perfectly good name not getting used. I had choked on my drink when she said that part about the spending her life calling me anything, and the conversation quickly changed course. Honestly, I never had anything against my first name, the Donny bit was something started at the fire academy, and it stuck.

"I know, but I couldn't resist. It's just a little something for tonight. You can have it now or it can wait until dinner. Your choice entirely." She raised an eyebrow at me, a trick I had never mastered, before shaking her head in amusement.

"You are just too much sometimes. So, what is it?"

"Nothing much. Just a bottle of my homemade salad dressing. I know you like it, and I had some time to make a batch today."

"You are so sweet, Chloe Donovan! Thank you. You know how much I love your dressing. Even better, we're having salad tonight."

She motioned to me to leave the bag on the patio table and I joined her as she went in the house to get the food ready for the grill.

I was impressed by the amount of preparation that had already been done. We both love to cook so I usually help with the basic chopping and cleaning. It looked like everything was already done.

"What's going on? You don't trust my knife skills anymore? Have I ever minced when you asked for chopped?"

She grinned and came over for another hug. "Of course not. I just wanted to be able to spend more time hanging out than cooking tonight. I thought we could talk about how things are going and about Pauli's reaction to my announcement." She gave me another squeeze before releasing me and leaning against the counter.

I chuckled then laughed outright. "Oh, you mean the reaction that involved her coming over to my house this afternoon, unannounced, to see what my intentions are towards you?"

I watched her eyes get as large as saucers before she slouched and hung her head down.

"She really did that to you? Oh, Chloe, I'm so sorry. I told her not to confront you. What happened? Are you two okay?"

I walked over to her and leaned against the counter next to her before putting an arm around her waist. I waited patiently for her to look up into my eyes so that I could see her as I spoke to her.

"Everything is fine. She came in and we spoke about it. Mostly she just wanted to make sure I was in this for real, not to play with your heart. She wasn't around when Karen left so she doesn't know that I'm not a player. She's protective of you and that's something I totally respect."

"Are you sure? I mean, it isn't going to mess with you two working together will it?" She didn't look convinced that things were fine.

"I promise you, we're fine and working together will not be a problem unless I break your heart. Since I have no intentions of doing that, we're fine."

I gave her my best grin and pulled her against me. She leaned into me and we just enjoyed the embrace for a few minutes. She felt so good in my arms that I never wanted to let her go, but I had to or we wouldn't ever get out of the kitchen. "Weren't we supposed to get the food on the grill? Let's do that and then we can spend the rest of the evening relaxing."

 She stayed against me for another minute and then moved off to start getting food together. It was still a little weird for me, cuddling with Caity. I mean, yeah it was the stuff I'd dreamed about for months, but it still seemed strange to go from hardly touching her to kissing and hugging, never mind anything else! Yeah, it felt awesome and frankly, I spent even more time turned on around her than ever before, but at the same time, it was almost surreal. I planned to ask her if she felt the same way, but hadn't figured out how to bring it up yet.

* * *

After dinner we were sitting outside on a swinging bench seat she had on the patio just relaxing and talking. Her head was in my lap and her legs drawn up so she could lie down and use me as a pillow. I played absently with her hair and thought about the unexpected nature of things. Everything was so new and I was still too afraid to trust that my heart would be safe. I guess she sensed something because she looked up at me.

"Do you need to talk? I know that quiet, brooding thing you do. I'd like to help if I can."

I bit my lip, unsure of how to verbalize what I was thinking and feeling. "I'm not really sure, I mean, I guess everything just seems too good right now, you know? Like, I've wanted this with you for so long that I can't believe you feel the same way. We went from avoiding physical contact to hugging, kissing, and cuddling in the blink of an eye. It just seems weird sometimes," I caught myself and corrected with, "In a good way of course, I mean I love it, it's just unreal at times."

She was quiet for a little while, obviously thinking about what I had said before she kicked me out of her life. I started to freak a little before she finally spoke again.

"I think I understand what you're saying. We were good friends for several years after quite a bit of time being voices on a radio or telephone. We were work buddies, at least sort of, before we became friends and that grew to a close friendship. Now, we're taking things into a different space, into a different operating procedure. I still can't believe that I'm lucky enough to get to hold you and kiss you. I wish I could hold your hand forever, just to have that connection with you. What can I do to help?"

What a woman! Instead of complaining or thinking I wasn't into her after all, she understood how I felt and wanted to make it better for me. I think I died and went to heaven at that moment.

"I guess just be patient with me, like you have been, and I'll do my best to get over it quickly. I do love how it feels to hold you even though it scares me too. I just wish I could get rid of my doubts and hang ups."

She reached up and pulled my head down so she could kiss me. She started nice and gently, slowly introducing her tongue and seeking entrance into my mouth. After gentling her way inside, she caressed my mouth, seeking out my tongue and dancing with it before releasing the kiss. I was breathless and my heart was racing, I leaned down and initiated a kiss of my own and we continued like that until it started to cool off outside. I noticed her starting to shiver and suggested that we go inside so she could warm up. She took my hand and led me inside to the hallway, raised her eyebrow then inclined her head towards her bedroom. I wanted to go there, whatever deities there are knew I wanted to go there, but I just couldn't move my feet in that direction yet.

She smiled and headed into the living room with me instead, guiding me towards the couch. "You know, I could still have my way with you in here, it would just be less comfortable than my bed."

She flashed a grin at me, but her eyes had gotten darker, and I wondered if I was turning into a tease at the ripe old age of thirty-two. She sat on the sofa, relaxing back into the cushions and held her arms out to me. I sat and relaxed into her, letting her hold and reassure me that things were going to be fine. I still had flashbacks of my time with Karen and a time when I believed her words too. It was getting easier to remind myself that this wasn't Karen, but Caity, and she had done nothing to earn mistrust. Eventually, I headed home, even though Caity said I could stay over with no pressure. I had to work the next day and didn't think I'd get any sleep lying in bed next to her all night.

* * *

I wasn't in the station house more than ten minutes when the house siren started going off and dispatch came across the speaker system.

"Station 2-4, Station 2-4, a house fire at 287 Viceroy Drive, two sides and roof involved. Station 2-4, a house fire at 287 Viceroy Drive, two sides and roof involved. Time of dispatch 0635." Shit, the whole station sent out at change of shift for a full on house fire. Not a good way to start my day, but of course, I doubt it was the way whomever lived at that address wanted to start theirs either.

We all headed for the trucks, stepping into our turnout gear before climbing in and responding. The captain was in the station, and he put the whole house out responding before he switched to channel five to take command of the scene. County monitors all the channels, so it doesn't matter which one we use, we can get through to them. By switching to the channel they designated we could all communicate without stepping on other radio traffic.

I was riding as crew chief of my rig, and I was partnered with Pauli, so she drove. One other rig was with us, Spike and Tony were in it. Spike would take medical command, working hand in hand with fire command, i.e. Captain Williams. She would have Tony set up a medical station for firefighters to come rehab after their allotted time working. Each firefighter only works until their air tank alarm sounds, then they have to leave to recharge the tank and get checked out by medics. We take their blood pressure, pulse, check their breathing and respiration counts and make them hydrate and cool off before letting them retrieve their refilled tanks and return to the scene. We would all help with this until or unless we had a patient to transport.

Our third crew was already out on a call and they would most likely respond to our scene when they cleared their call. Another station would move a rig closer to our border to cover calls if needed until the fire scene was announced as under control. It is all one delicate and well-orchestrated ballet with cooperation between the different services and stations. We called in to announce our arrival on scene, and I went to Spike to find out where we were setting up the rehab station.

The house was burning well, now three sides and the roof were fully involved. That meant no one would be climbing the ladder to the roof to ventilate, the roof would already be considered a lost cause. I was relieved, venting a roof was dangerous due to the chance of roof collapse, and I always worried when our brothers and sisters were up top. The engine and trucks were running hose lines and opening two hydrants. The ladder was also setting up and extending the support legs out so they could deploy the bucket for additional water to be put on the fire from above. The captain really wanted to keep this from spreading to adjacent houses and one way to do that was water from the top to prevent too many sparks from spreading.

I had only vaguely realized that Caitlyn was the dispatcher for this call. Somehow, hearing her voice made me less tense, but I would ponder that later, now was time to focus on laying out gear and supplies to have them ready if needed. We received two EMTs to give additional help on the scene from a neighboring district. They were basic life support, no ability to use needles or give medications other than a very select few. However, it gave us the manpower we would need, especially if anyone needed transport to the ER.

 All the lines were in place, the crackling and roar of the fire started to meet with the hiss of water rushing from the high-pressure hoses that needed two people to control them. The smell of smoke was heavy in the air, the radio crackled continuously as we heard firefighters getting directions and acknowledging their officers. We were now on channel three if we needed to reach fire command or if the captain needed to reach us. That way we wouldn't interfere with the firefighters' communications. Our radios were set to scan so we could hear all the traffic, but our channel would supersede any other if we were called.

We started getting the first flow of firefighters who had changed out with the relief crews to rehab and refill tanks. We were directing them to sit in our triage area, the EMTs and medics started taking BPs and other vitals, the battalion support group had arrived and were pushing water and sports drinks on the tired and sooty firefighters while they rested. No one was at risk so we released them in plenty of time to relieve their brethren. The smoke kept shifting in our direction, and we were all starting to look almost as sooty as the outer ring of personnel working the trucks. I grabbed some of the sterile water and rinsed my face off before offering the bottle to the rest of the crew to use.

We worked for hours before the scene was under control. Thankfully, only one firefighter had to be relieved from service and the EMT crew took him in to receive treatment for smoke inhalation before they returned to their own area. The operation was starting to be downsized after close to six hours on scene. I sat on the back step of Spike's rig during a quiet time while Tony and Pauli took care of a few guys needing a little extra time at rehab to calm down their blood pressure before returning to work. Spike looked down on me from her position sitting on the floor of the rig with her feet on the step I was sitting on. Both doors to the rig were open for easy access to supplies if needed, and it gave her a place to hang out where she could still hear the radio over the racket.

"How's it going? Are things under control yet?" I asked Spike since I hadn't been listening to all the traffic. After a while I got sick of it and turned off the scanner function on my radio.

"Yeah, sounds like it. They are inside now, hitting hot spots and looking for flare ups. How are you holding up? You've been running around for quite a while and you look like you caught some smoke too."

"I'm good. I've been hydrating with sports drinks. I'm just in need of a shower and clean uniform. I guess we'll be heading out soon, huh?" I really didn't care when we left, we still had hours to go on shift so here was as good a place as any to spend it. I did really want a shower but with my luck I'd be in the middle of it and get tapped out again. I take fast showers but it sucks when you're all soapy and have to rinse, dry and stuff yourself into a uniform as you run out the door. I usually toss on shorts and a T-shirt and wear my turnout pants if that happens. It isn't the most comfortable thing but it is faster than getting my uniform pants and boots on.

We were sitting  there just shooting the shit and trading stories when we heard a loud crash and the radio burst to life. There were voices yelling directions, shouting things we couldn't make out and our channel opened up, calling for medics and two backboards. With a quick look at Spike, I grabbed them and our partners and headed towards the command center.

Spike radioed for back up since it sounded like we were both going to leave the scene shortly and there had to be another crew on scene for the remaining fire crews working. Tony had grabbed the trauma bag. Pauli had the big splint kit. I had the backboards and gear for them, and Spike was carrying her multipurpose bag with full IV setups, small splints, basic meds, and some other random supplies. We got to the command post and waited for more information on what had happened. Luckily, we all had our turnout gear on, and we actually wore our helmets for a change.

The captain came over to brief us that two guys were trapped inside. Part of the roof had come down when a wall shifted. The fire had looked like it was coming under control but had actually gotten inside a couple of walls and buckled them, triggering the shift. They had radio contact with one and he was injured, and the other was under more rubble and his buddy couldn't get to him. He did report hearing the man-down alarm close by, so at least there was a basic location. Crews were already shoring up the walls and moving rubble in an effort to reach the downed men. When the captain gave us the names of the guys trapped, Tony went pale.

"Shit! What the hell? How did he end up in there? He's not even a pipe guy!" He continued to grumble and stress out. One of the guys trapped had been his roommate until last year when he got married and bought a small house with his new wife.

The other guy was fairly new to the house but seemed nice enough. I didn't really know him, but I did know Tony's former roommate, Scott. Shit! Days like this suck! Fuck it, we still had a job to do, and I tried to pull it together and help Tony do the same thing.

Pauli was waiting next to the engine closest to the house, just staring at it as if that would get things done faster. She, of course, also knew both guys and looked like she was working pretty hard to keep from raging also. We would have to debrief later in the day. It was standard when one of our own was injured in the line of duty like this. Captain Williams was a stickler about that stuff. Since he was running the scene, it would happen.

Finally the crews were able to move the debris and find the two trapped men. It took a little more time to free them from the rubble. We waited as close to the scene as we were permitted until things were a bit more secure. After a few more minutes, Tony grabbed the trauma bag and headed towards to house.

"Tony! Stop! You can't go in yet!"

He ignored me and kept moving towards the perimeter. I understood the urge, we all did, but we were supposed to follow our training and command protocols, not run off half-cocked like some punk kid.

"Damn it, Tony! Get back here! That's an order!" I caught up to him only to find myself shoved to the ground.

"I'm going in, Donny!" He growled and kept moving.

Now that pissed me off mightily. I got up and ran after him again and tackled him just before he reached the fire zone perimeter. All past that point were supposed to put on self contained breathing apparatus, which we just refer to as SCBA, before going any further into the smoke. Another guy from the station helped me get him up and away from the perimeter while Spike caught up to us and looked ready to read Tony the riot act. I think she would have too if we hadn't gotten word that they had cleared the rubble and were bringing out both guys in Stokes baskets.

We all grabbed our gear and got ready to evaluate the patients. They were essentially back boarded for us by the baskets so all we did was secure their heads and necks with collars and head blocks and hustle towards the rigs with the guys. Spike rode in the back with the unconscious Scott, while I rode with the less injured man, Ryan, to the hospital. Lucky for me, and him, Ryan was okay from the looks of things. His gear took the brunt of the collapse. He had been pinned down and couldn't move to get to Scott. He had a possible dislocated shoulder, but his pulses were good and his gear, plus the basket, kept him as secure as anything I could rig up so I left him as I found him and simply monitored him, gave him oxygen, and called it in to the ER.

We pulled up on the ramp of the ER and found two sets of teams waiting for us. One set took Scott, the other, Ryan, and whisked them away as we gave report, jogging alongside. I have to say it was good to see the care that we received when hurt on the job. Once we were finished giving report, Spike and I met by gear storage to talk about what had happened and how to handle Tony.

Spike was his direct supervisor, but I had done a lot of his ride time so she wanted some input from me. The truth was, I hadn't thought of him as the type to lose it at a scene like that, even though it was a close friend. That is just part of the job, our friends get hurt doing what we do. We can rage and cry all we want after the incident is over. Until then we owe it to our family of co-workers to keep going as strong as possible to care for them and get everyone else out safely.

"Donny, you know he has to answer for this. He could have gotten himself and others killed today. Not to mention he struck one of his probationary supervisors. We can't let that kind of thing go."

"Yeah I know. I also know that he felt a lot of stress on the scene. I don't think he meant to push me that hard. I don't think he was thinking at all." I sighed, knowing I had just proven Spike's point for her.

We headed out to the rigs where our partners were cleaning and replacing gear. I helped Pauli get things squared away so we could head back to base. Spike took her time cleaning up the back of her rig with Tony. I don't know if she even spoke to him or just let him stew in his head. I did notice them going back inside, to check on Scott I assumed, as we headed back to station. I put us on radio as available and headed to base. That was when I realized what I had noticed earlier. Caity had been the original dispatcher but she wasn't on the air anymore. Wondering if her shift was over, I looked at the dashboard clock and determined she should still be there.

I shrugged it off, figuring she had been relocated to a different section of the call center and leaned my head back against the seat. I closed my eyes and just let the motion of the rig lull me into a daydream zone. When I heard the back-up beeps start, I knew we were back at the station and grabbed the mike to put us in station with county. I got an acknowledgment and grabbed my stuff as I headed into the bay. Pauli and I ditched our gear and headed to the bunks to clean up.

We were in the shower stalls when I heard Pauli quietly asking me a question.

"What is going to happen to Tony? I know he lost it today but Scott has been like a brother to him. Is he going to get suspended?"

Great, these were questions I not only shouldn't answer, but also couldn't answer. "I really don't know. Spike asked me for input about my time riding with him, but that was it. She didn't say what was going to happen next. I figure she's going to talk to the captain before they decide on a course of action. I'm sure they'll be fair, but he did cross some major lines."

She agreed quietly and we got ready to hit the streets again if needed. I headed downstairs and went to the lounge to hang out and rest until we got tapped or got word on the guys taken in. Those not still needed at the fire scene were already congregating at the hospital, but we had to remain in our patrol zone.

I was just closing my eyes when my cell phone buzzed insistently in its holster on my belt. Groaning slightly, I reached for it without opening my eyes and answered it. It was Spike with an update from the hospital. Scott was going to be fine. He had taken a bump and would be in the hospital overnight, but they deemed it a mild concussion and he would make a full recovery. Ryan did have a dislocated shoulder, which the doctor manipulated into place, and he too would be in overnight. Ryan would have to go through some rehabilitation before he could go back on full duty. I thanked her and hung up, a little more relaxed, and dozed off for a while.

CHAPTER 4

TONES, I HEARD tones, but I wasn't at work, was I? I struggled to wake up and figure things out. This was strange though, if tones were dropping, why wasn't I waking up? I always get up quickly for a call.

 Suddenly, I sat upright, remembering the fire call from earlier in the day. After work I had gone home to take a nap before going to the hospital. I was lying on my couch, in the twilight hours of early summer. I realized that I wasn't hearing station tones, it was my cell phone ringing. I grabbed the phone from the coffee table and answered it just before it went into voicemail.

It was Caity, I had forgotten to call her after work, and she wanted to know if I was still coming over. Damn it! I totally forgot about our plans. I explained about my plans being derailed by my nap, and asked if she minded if I went to the hospital first. Since she was part of the "family," she understood my need to check in there. Those guys weren't part of my close group, but they were part of my station house, and therefore, my brothers.

"I have a better idea, Chloe, why don't you come over here, and I'll take you to the hospital? That way, you don't have to worry about driving later when you're upset or tired, but you'll have your car here if you need it."

Well, she did have a point, I was beat. After I heard about the guys being all right, we had been tapped four more times without stopping. It certainly had been a long shift, and I could use a good dose of my best friend right about now.

"Yeah, that sounds great, Caity. Thanks. I appreciate you understanding too. See you in fifteen?" She gave me an affirmative and I went to get myself together.

* * *

The hospital waiting area for the fourth floor was still full of firefighters and their families. The guys were doing better, but we all wanted to see that for ourselves. I paid my respects to Scott's wife, and Ryan's parents, talked to the captain, and then saw Spike by herself in a corner. Caity walked over to her and gave her a quick hug. She said something to Spike that made her give a halfhearted smile.

I walked over to the two of them and nudged Spike's shoulder. "Hey, how long ya been here, Spike? Have you gotten any sleep since we left work?"

"Negative, I've been here since then. I mostly came to keep an eye on Tony. I'm not thrilled with the way he acted, but I haven't really talked to him yet. I'm just waiting for the Cap to give me a few minutes out of the crowd, then I'm outta here, and headed for dreamland."

"Where is Tony? I don't see him anywhere."

"Coffee run for the families. He's been on his best behavior here, but I'm still worried. I'm hoping the Cap has some ideas on how we should handle things. I can't have my partner going off half-cocked, causing more patients, and losing rescue crews at scenes."

"I hear ya, but in his defense, this guy was his roommate and the closest thing to a blood relative he has around here. I mean, I know he was wrong, scene safety and trust are paramount, but he is still a rookie, ya know?"

Spike nodded slowly, as if the weight of her position was weighing heavily on her today. Caity looked on as we talked things over, not speaking, but I could almost hear the wheels turning, and I could see the questions in her eyes. Thankfully, she didn't ask me about it. I hadn't told her about Tony's meltdown at the scene yet. I didn't want her concerned about things that hadn't happened to her sister or me.

We took off after saying our goodbyes, and went out to  Caity's car. We were quiet for a moment, and then she asked me softly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes. I could see Tony running for the collapsing building in my head. Again, I saw him shove me away and keep running. Only this time, I didn't stop him and he ran into the building, just as it gave way again. I reminded myself that it hadn't happened that way. I was just seeing what could have happened, but it didn't help. I filled her in on the call and the reaction we all had to hearing the firefighters down call. I finished just as we pulled into her driveway.

"Did you guys get your debrief yet?"

"Not yet, it is scheduled for tomorrow, that way the crews had time to get to the hospital and spend a little time with their families before going back in." I silently added my thanks that I was able to spend my time with her. My brother and his family only lived a couple of towns away, but this wasn't something I could bring to him. We've never been the kind of family that talked about our feelings and fears. I could see that his wife had been working on him about it, but he and I still had not made that leap.

We went inside and I pulled Caity into my arms. She leaned in and gave me soft kiss, then she rested her head on my shoulder as I held her. I just needed that connection, to feel like someone outside the firehouse would care if I had been the one injured in the line of duty. Finally, I pulled away a bit and looked into her eyes. I almost gasped at what I saw reflected there. I could feel her fear as she tightened her grip on me. She looked scared in a way I had never associated with her before.

I guided us over to her sliding glass doors and out onto the patio. We sat down on the glider bench, and I pulled her closer to me. I held her tightly and asked, "What are you thinking, Caity?"

She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, and then she looked at me with a glimmer of moisture in her eyes. I didn't know how to make this better for her, but I was also afraid that she wouldn't want to be with me now that she had seen the danger of it.

"I'm not a novice, Chloe, I know what you and Pauli do is dangerous. It is almost as dangerous as it is noble and brave. Yes, I was worried about you both. When I realized it was a big scene and you were both involved, I switched from running the major call to several smaller ones. I didn't want to sit and listen to you two there all day."

I nodded. I was right when I thought that she had been the dispatcher before her voice vanished. I waited for her to continue since I had a feeling she wasn't done yet.

"Every day I listen to you guys go out on calls. Hell, I send you out on those calls. Could you ever forgive me if I was the one that sent you or one of your friends out on the call that got them hurt seriously or worse? I was suddenly afraid to be the voice that directs things from afar."

Damn, I didn't see that coming! I thought she was afraid we would get hurt, not that we, or more correctly I, would blame her for sending us in harm's way.

 "Sweetie, this isn't something you can control. You don't cause the calls; you don't determine the nature or locations of the calls we go on. You guys get a phone call, help scared people stay calm until we get there, and you sound the alarm that sends us where we are needed. You are our lifeline when we need help or equipment on scene. You don't have any control over whose call it is, or what will happen on any given call. I would never blame you for doing your job. Never!"

She buried her head into my neck and didn't speak. I was confused by her behavior. What was I supposed to do next? I really wasn't sure what was going through her head, and she wouldn't look at me. Finally, out of frustration, as well as concern, I pulled back enough so that she had to look at me.

"If you won't talk to me, then we can't fix it, Caitlyn. Please, we're both so new at this relationship stuff. Please don't shut me out. I want to help you. I want to fix it all for you but I don't know how."

She looked scared. I felt my heart beat faster as I looked at her. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to fix this. More importantly, I didn't want to fail her as I had failed Karen.

"Chloe, this isn't about you as much as it is about me. I'm terrified of all of this."

She gestured to include everything, I guess. I wasn't sure exactly, but it was a large gesture and I grew more concerned.

"I can't send you out on calls all day wondering when I'm going to hear the phrase 'firefighter down' applied to you. I'll have been the one to send you there; don't you get it? It was okay when we were friends, but it has been tougher since I started developing feelings for you. Now that we're together, I just don't know if I could live with myself if anything happened and you were hurt from one of my dispatches. Pauli and I lost our father on the job. I can't lose the two of you. Especially if I'm the one that sent you in harm's way. My sister and you are the two most important people in my life. How do I deal with that and do my job?"

I didn't know what to say. It never occurred to me that Caity would feel that way about dispatching her sister or me. I knew about her father, of course that would go through her head. I should have thought of it first. I held her and tried to offer comfort as my mind spun, reaching for anything I could say or do to fix this feeling she was having. I was simply out of my experience. How do you convince someone that they are not to blame if something their job does sends someone into a harmful situation? It was especially difficult in our field. I felt guilty whenever I didn't make the save, when I didn't fix the problems, or couldn't prevent an injury to one of my brethren.

"Caity, look at me, please?"

I tilted her chin up so that she was looking at me. I wiped her tears away with my thumbs, took a breath, and tried to help.

 "This isn't easy for me. I'm not used to talking about feelings with other people. You know how we are in the job, we shove it away or make a joke, whenever something bad happens, or we lose a patient. I'm not sure this will come out right, so bear with me."

She nodded slightly as her eyes grew curious. A slight tilt of her head indicated she was ready to listen.

"When we go out on a call, no matter who does the dispatch, we are thankful as hell to have someone, somewhere, listening in to ensure we are safe. Dispatchers are the safety line. Do you remember that bad wreck a couple of years ago? The one where that young cop got hit?"

 It had been a nightmare of a scene. It was a freezing rain and a young officer made a standard traffic stop at dusk. He was run over by a reckless motorist, who ignored the flashing lights of the cruiser, and plowed right into both the officer and the person he had stopped.

She grimaced and nodded. "Yeah, I was on phone center that night, and I took one of the calls from a civilian who stopped to help out. That was a mess. I forgot you were at that one."

"Well, it sucked, but dispatch heard his call for help, sent us and another crew, as well as additional officers to the scene, and kept him talking. He stayed awake and was able to fill us in on what happened. When we got to him, he was starting to go into shock but that dispatcher helped keep him aware long enough for help to get there. He made it through that, he even went back to the job eventually. What I'm saying is, you don't put us in the dangerous spots, the job does it for us. We chose to do those jobs and we… I accept the risks inherent in my profession. I count on the professionalism of my crew, my station, and the others in the system to keep me as safe as they can. I also trust that they will do their jobs and render aid if I should ever need it. That includes you. I feel safer knowing you are there to look out for me and my crew."

Slowly, Caity lifted her head and looked into my eyes. I could tell she was searching for something. Apparently, she found it because she leaned forward and gave me a soft kiss. It spoke of caring, of appreciation, and of understanding. My mind almost melted from the intimacy of the moment. I was starting to feel that fear again, the fear that I as getting in too deep. All I knew, all I felt, was that I wanted this woman in my life, but I was still so damn afraid.

"Caity, since we're talking about feelings and stuff…" I trailed off, unsure of how to ask what I needed to ask her. I was afraid that if I asked her, it would show her what an insecure loser I really was in a relationship.

"What is it, Chloe? I'm sorry I had a meltdown about this, please don't be scared off."

I heard the fear in her voice, and I was confused by it. What was she scared of, other than the risk of my job? Dammit all, was I blowing it again?

"I'm not upset or afraid of your reaction to the call, really I'm not. I'm afraid you will decide it isn't what you want. That I'm not what you want. The risks are too high, the hours are too crazy, the clan of the firehouse isn't who you want over for a holiday barbeque. I'm scared, Caity, I'm just scared!"

I was crying. I almost never cry, yet the tears sliding down my face and dripping from my chin to my shirt were real. Now, mind you, I wasn't sobbing or wailing, it was more of that silent crying thing, but she still noticed. She lifted her hand to my face, gently, oh so gently, wiping away my tears, before speaking.

"Chloe, I can promise you this much. I will talk to you when our jobs become too much, the hours suck, or anything else that comes up, okay? I grew up with a firefighter family around me. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not going to run away, Chloe, I'm here, and I'm staying here. I pro—"

I cut her off with a hard, crushing kiss. I could feel our hearts racing; I could feel her tongue tangling with mine, the hardness of her teeth, the softness of her lips. I could feel a shift; something had changed for both of us.

I felt the heat of her skin through her clothes. I felt her hands roaming over my back in random patterns. I left her sweet lips, shifting slightly, so I could reach her neck. I kissed my way down, drawn to the pulse in her neck, tasting the sweet and slightly salty taste of her skin, craving the softness and strength that was Caity. I moved my hand down from her back to her side, and then I reached up to cup her breast. I could feel the firm weight of it as it filled my hand with just a little left over. I skimmed my thumb across her nipple and felt it, already tight and stiff, begging for my lips.

She shifted and started to pull away before standing up. Her eyes were dark with desire as she looked at me, still on the swing. She held out her hand and I took it, weaving my fingers with hers. We went to the house and as had become habit, she stopped in the hallway. She left the choice to me, to the bedroom or the living room. I chose the direction, the bedroom, definitely the bedroom this time.

I was nervous. I knew that this act was irreversible. Once we crossed the line and became lovers, our friendship would be changed, forever. I couldn't have stopped it, even if I had the desire to do so. I had to admit that I was in love with my best friend and we were about to consummate that relationship.

She led me into her room, switched on the lamp across the room from her queen size sleigh bed, shedding a dim light across the room. "Is that all right? I want to see you as I make love to you."

I felt my mouth go dry when she said that to me. I gave a nod of my head as I swallowed hard and tried to remember how to undress. My hands fumbled with buttons and zippers until she came near me and stilled my hands.

"Let me, please, Chloe, let me do this. I've dreamed about taking these off of you."

Her touch was gentle, her motions controlled and sure. Caity's hands made quick work of my shirt. I had already kicked off my shoes. She moved closer to me, gathering me in her arms. Her lips met mine for a kiss that still curls my toes just thinking about it. The softness of her lips, the desire we both felt, the connection, the electricity that shot straight through to my groin. Her hands skimmed down my shoulders, moving between us to slide the zipper of my jeans down, sliding them over my hips and letting them pool at my feet. I stepped out of them and moved closer to the bed as she followed. I allowed her to remove my bra and briefs, leaving me naked in front of her. She let out a soft moan that sent a rush of warmth through me.

I pulled her down on the bed, pulling at what was left of her clothing, desperate to feel her naked skin against mine.

Our tongues wrestled and thrust, hands were everywhere, I moved on top of her, settling with one of my legs between her thighs with my weight resting on my arms. I watched her face carefully. I was still afraid of this moment although I wanted it more than anything else I had ever wanted. She smiled up at me, her hazel eyes burning with desire, her rich, brown hair, lay in sharp contrast to the white of the pillowcase. I was overwhelmed by it all. I had to explore her body. I kissed my way down her neck, pausing at the rapid pulse beat, nipping at the tendons that revealed themselves as she arched into me. As I lowered my head to the valley between her breasts, I inhaled the wonderful scent that meant Caity to me. The smell of sage and sandalwood, as well as a slightly sweeter note, more like fresh cut grass. She shifted slightly which brought the tip of her breast closer to my mouth. I kissed all around the areola, and then I slipped my mouth over her nipple, already rigid with desire. I moaned loudly, swept up by the need to taste her everywhere. I moved to her other breast, allowing part of my weight to rest on her body, bringing our skin into greater contact. While my mouth entertained one breast, the other was being squeezed and molded by my free hand.

"Please, Chloe, please touch me. I need to feel you, I need…" She gave a groan, cutting herself off.

"I'm here, baby. I'm here. Are you sure? You know this changes everything right?" I was still nervous, no matter how badly I wanted her, I was afraid.

"Oh God, yes, please. I want this, I want you! I need to feel you inside of me!"

I couldn't help myself, with that plea still on her lips, my hand slipped between her thighs. The warmth, the wetness, welcomed me inside. I stroked my fingers through her wetness. My hips were moving against her on their own, as if I had no control over their movement. I felt the opening I searched for and slipped one, then two fingers inside my Caity. I almost lost my mind with the realization that I was actually inside of her. I felt her muscles clenching me, tightening at the slide and movement of my fingers. Her head moved from side to side on her pillow. Her hands were roaming my body, one toying with my nipples, the other pulling my ass towards her, encouraging my rhythmic thrusting.

There was nothing left but this glorious wetness, thrusting, sliding together and her moaning my name. I felt her muscles clench, pulling me deeper and deeper inside. I allowed my thumb to slide around her clitoris, gently rubbing her until I felt her grow impossibly hard against me. Caity's hips started thrusting wildly into me, and I knew she was about to lose control. I wanted that more than anything else in my life. I wanted to be the one to cause her to come with a fierce intensity.

"C'mon Caity, let me feel you, let me see you. I've got you sweetie, let go. I've got you." I was shuddering, on the verge of losing control myself, but I was determined to wait until she came first.

"Oh God… Oh God, Chloe… I'm gonna come for you, baby. I'm coming!" She gave a sharp shout, and I felt her entire body wracked with spasms. My fingers deep inside of her and her arms locked around me. She held me tightly against her. Her knee rubbing against my clit pushed me over the edge, and I joined her in ecstatic bliss.

When I was aware of my surroundings again, I looked down to find Caity looking up at me with the biggest smile on her face that I had ever seen. I realized that I was lying on her fully and my hand was still inside of her. I gently started to slide my fingers out, feeling the slight aftershocks still rolling through her body. She groaned as I pulled out.

"Uhh, don't go, stay inside me, please?"

Well, how could I resist that? I stopped my exit and instead pushed forward gently. I felt myself grow hard again as I did it, and there was a spark in her eyes, a slight intake of breath that I recognized as the rekindling of her desire. I slid in as far as I could, curling my fingers up to find her G-spot. I rubbed it gently and I leaned down to kiss her. What started as gentle quickly became heated. I felt her responding, her slickness coating my entire hand and her thighs. I had to taste it, I had to taste her. Without waiting, I pulled away from her mouth and shifted my body so that I could keep my fingers inside of her, but I could reach my goal with my mouth. This was my first look at her and she was beautiful, breathtaking, and so very wet for me. I dove into her wetness, rubbing it all over my face as I worked my tongue through her hot folds. I let the tip of my tongue tease her clit, nudging the hood back from her erection, then I started a gentle licking motion, using my entire tongue to make wide and soft swipes over her most sensitive spot.

"Ung, I'm, oh! You!... God, Chloe, I can't take it… too intense, it's too much."

She begged and pleaded so I gave in. I moved my fingers in and out of her, making sure to keep my fingers curled to hit her spot inside, and I lay claim to her copious moisture with my tongue. I lapped up every drop I could then sucked on her clit while teasing it gently at first, then harder, with my tongue. She let out a high, keening wail, an almost scream, as her body tensed and arched up. She stayed arched off the bed for a minute before collapsing down and pushing my face away from the overly sensitive area between her thighs.

I slipped out of her and moved up to hold her. I kissed her lips gently and stared at her with wonder. "Thank you," I whispered.

"Honey, after that I need to thank you! That was unbelievable, Chloe, I have no words."

She held me tightly for a moment and then kissed me again. Her hand trailed down my body, starting a journey that her mouth followed. I groaned, letting my legs spread apart, allowing her greater access. She made her way to my clit, licking up one side and down the other, while her fingers held my lower lips further apart. She teased my opening with the tip of one finger and glanced up at me as if to ask permission. I granted it willingly.

"Yes, Caity, please," was all I could groan out but it was enough.

She used two fingers, then added a third inside of me. She set a thrusting pattern that her tongue followed as it danced over my turgid clit. I was certain that it was impossible for me to get any harder, yet feeling her fill me up so much, I felt myself stiffen even more. I knew I was close and she knew it as well.

"Harder, please, Caity!"

Her tempo increased, she started thrusting with more force until all I could see were the fireworks behind my eyelids, and I lost all control over my body. When I finally calmed down, I pulled her up to lay beside me and I held her closely. I had to keep touching her, to keep reminding myself that this was real, not just another of my dreams.

"Are you okay?" asked Caity.

"Mmmm, yeah, I'm great, you? Are you sorry we…?"

"How could you ask that? I'm not sorry for anything other than it taking me so long to tell you that I wanted you like this."

"Like this?" I questioned. "You mean to tell me you wanted me boneless, helpless, and naked in your bed?" I quirked an eyebrow at her and gave her a half grin.

Laughing, she rolled on top of me. "You are a great many things, dear, but helpless is not one of them. I could never be sorry for loving you."

Her hazel eyes gazed into mine as she said that, she said she loved me. My heart stopped, my mind reeled. Caity loves me? What? I knew she was waiting for me to say something but my brain was stuck for a moment. When it unstuck, I hugged her closely and whispered, "I've loved you for so long. I'm sorry I was too afraid to tell you."

We fell asleep wrapped up in one another, our limbs and hearts entwined. For the night, we could forget the realities of our jobs and our lives. We would deal with the rest in the daylight.

* * *

I woke up to find a body snuggled in behind me, a warm hand reaching around to cup my breast, and a soft, shapely leg thrown over my legs. I gave a brief thanks that I hadn't simply been dreaming, yet again, of spending the night with Caity. We really had made love and spent the night together. Then I remembered that I had to get down to the station for our company debrief. The last thing on my mind was the station, or at least, it should have been, but I knew I had to get there on time. I started to gently disengage myself from the body wrapped around mine, but warm arms pulled me back to bed.

"Mmm, don't go anywhere," Caity whispered, her voice slightly hoarse in the early morning. "I don't want you trying to get away."

"You know I want to stay, Caity, but I have to get to the station. We have that critical stress incident debrief this morning. I have to do it, it's mandatory with no way out. I want to stay, you know I do."

"Fine, I accept defeat this time. Go get your stuff done, but will you come back later? I'm off today and would like to spend it with you." She looked uncertain as she asked.

"Of course, I have the next two days off in the rotation. I'm all yours today if you want me here." I was amazed that she would doubt that I would rush back here. I couldn't think of a better place to spend my day off than next to Caity.

She smiled at me, kissed me once, and then pushed me out of bed. "Since you are coming back, I will let you go temporarily." She got out of bed, and strode across the room to the bathroom. Standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but a smile, she turned to look at me over her shoulder. "I'm going to start the shower, care to join me?"

Now, I've been naïve about things at times, and I know I'm not always quick to notice signals from women, but even I understood that it would be foolish to miss out. I jumped up and followed her into the shower. I just hoped I got out in time for my meeting.

CHAPTER 5

"WHAT THE HELL do you mean? How can you fucking suspend me for doing my goddamn job?" The voice was loud, male, and undoubtedly Tony's. I really didn't want to be around for the talk that was obviously going on in the captain's office so I changed direction, heading upstairs from the truck bay instead of from the lounge. I spent a little more time than I needed grabbing gear from my locker, rearranging it, and packing a bag of stuff to bring downstairs for the washer. I wanted to give Tony plenty of time to finish his meeting and get out of the house with minimum embarrassment. Having everyone know that you were suspended was bad enough, having them watch you leave and looking at you with sympathy would be worse. Apparently, his private debriefing hadn't been as smooth as the crew meeting.

The general debrief had gone well and I spent a wonderful two days off splitting my time between Caity and my house doing some chores. It had been amazing to spend the time with Caity now that we had crossed from friends to lovers. Suddenly, the awkwardness I had felt about getting physically close with her was gone. I had no problem cuddling, holding hands, or anything else. Maybe it was just me being nervous about getting physical with someone I love so much, I mused.

I felt my knees get weak as I replayed that in my head. I was in love with my best friend. I mean, I knew I was in love with my best friend, but it just hit me what that could really mean. Before I could contemplate it too much I heard steps on the stairs, slow and steady, heading towards the women's area. The door pushed open and there was Spike, looking worn out, and for the first time in a while, I remembered the five-year age difference between us. Never had it been more apparent than at that moment. We looked at each other for a minute before she moved towards her bunk and crashed down onto it. She flipped onto her back and laced her fingers behind her head before staring up at the ceiling.

"Kristy?" That was Spike's real name and I didn't feel inclined to use it much, but it felt right this time. "Hey, Kris? Do you wanna talk about it? I heard Tony giving you guys a hard time when I came in. Are you okay?"

She gave a sigh, shifted around a bit so that she could look over at me, and nodded. "I'm fine I guess. It just isn't easy having to dress someone down for being human. Any of us would have run into that building given the right circumstances. If it was our family in there. He saw it that way, you know? Like his big brother was trapped and he should get his ass in there and save him."

Once again, I was glad not to be in her position. I do check rides, teach some classes for continuing education, and I mentor some of the rookies, but I don't have to do the administrative stuff she does. This wasn't going to get me excited to take it on anytime soon either. I just nodded my head and waited for her to continue, I knew she had more to vent.

"The poor guy, he really just wants to make a difference here. I think he could be a good medic given the time and seasoning. Now? We might lose him. He only has a week suspension but he may not come back. The suspension is more for ignoring orders on a scene and shoving you down, but he sees it as punishment for having feelings. Were we ever that young, Donny?"

I grinned at her, knowing full well I was that young when I started here. "Don't you remember your first shift with me? I drove you crazy asking questions, trying to get you to tell me stories about your saves. I'm surprised you didn't toss me out of the rig on the way to a call." I chuckled at the thought of that probie version of me.

She joined me in laughter and then grinned over at me. "You were so eager, fresh from school, and ready to save the world! I knew that you would turn into a great medic, Donny, even then I knew it. You really have become one of the best we have, you know that, right?"

I shifted and started fidgeting with my spare boots, examining the laces even though they were new. I felt myself turn red as the fire rose to my face. I have never taken compliments well, but especially when they come from people I admire so much. Spike is a medic's medic—the one we all strive to emulate. Here she was complimenting me?

"What's the matter, Donny? Can't take a compliment yet? Don't you know that the probies coming through here all love riding with you? You treat them with respect, you don't pull stupid probie jokes on them, and you are willing to let them learn by doing things. Hands on with supervision is one of the best ways to learn, but the hardest way to teach. You have a gift for it. Be proud of that, will ya?"

I was in full blush mode now, even my ears burned red. Spike chuckled and tossed a letter sized envelope towards me. It landed on my cot, but I grabbed it up and looked at it.

"What is it? It isn't addressed to me." I stated the obvious as I tried to figure out what she had thrown.

"Go ahead, open it up, I think you'll like it." She pulled her body up into a sitting position and tucked her legs under her so that she sat cross-legged on her cot. She just kept gazing over at me, waiting patiently for me to open the envelope.

I opened it and pulled out the folded piece of paper. As I unfolded it, an insignia dropped out and onto my cot. I looked up, puzzled, at Spike, then back down at the rank. It was the crossed bugles representing field supervisor status in our department. I read the letter that congratulated me on my new promotion and assignment as a training officer/field supervisor with the department. Shock doesn't begin to cover what I was feeling. I had no idea I was up for promotion, never mind actually getting promoted! I looked to Spike for answers.

Spike just laughed at my expression for a while before speaking again. "I guess we surprised you! It has been in the works for a little while now but I couldn't say anything until it was official. This is why you were doing rides with so many probies this year. Cap wanted to see how you'd handle it if we moved you up. I just made Senior Field Officer and we need a new Field Officer, so you won't leave the house, just change duties a bit."

I offered her congratulations on her promotion. I was genuinely happy for her but unsure how I felt about my own promotion. I was still trying to absorb it. Just then, the klaxon sounded and the dispatcher's voice echoed through the station. I tossed my extra stuff in the locker, shoved my letter and insignia in one of my pockets, and headed down the pole to the bay. Spike was right behind me and we both stepped into our turnout gear as we listened to the dispatch. Neither one of us was actually on shift yet, nor did we have partners yet, but why let details like that stop us? We decided to grab the extra rig and go out since it was a big car accident on the highway, less than three miles from the station, and extra hands might be needed. We responded as a supervisor truck en route, that way we wouldn't cancel out any other rigs going in on the call.

We arrived on scene just after the other two crews pulled up. The rescue truck was right behind us, and as we got out of our rig, Spike yelled over to me.

"Why don't you take command? I'll go triage and see if the rescue crew needs an extra hand.

I agreed and called the dispatch center, "County, this is supervisor two two one, assuming medical command."

Usually, it falls to the senior officer, which would still be Spike, but I knew she viewed this as a training exercise. I grabbed my radio and sat in the truck, taking copious notes as to who was dispatched, who arrived, how many were injured, and to what degree. Spike did her triage and reported the numbers back to me so that I could notify county dispatch if we needed additional personnel or equipment.

Thankfully for all, this wreck looked worse than it was, and most of the involved victims were able to walk away without a scratch. "County, medical command two two one."

"Go ahead, two two one."

"County, we're gonna need a van or bus out here to transport a group of fifteen green tags to an ER." Green tags meant they were basically uninjured or walking wounded.

"Two two one, affirmative, we'll send something out ASAP to your location."

It looked like a mess. Somehow seven cars managed to skid into one another in a domino effect after the lead car blew out a tire and spun out on the highway. There was debris scattered across all four lanes, bringing traffic to a complete standstill. We had arrived on the scene by driving down the nearest exit ramp the wrong way, and heading into the flow of traffic, had there been any flowing. The rescue crew set up the hydraulic tools to cut apart one of the cars with a trapped victim. It was a quick, but loud, process and they quickly freed one, and then another patient from separate cars. Other members of the crew checked the cars and disabled the batteries in each car to avoid any risk of sparks starting a fire before starting the cleanup of debris and vehicular fluids that had spread across the roadway.

The two crews assigned to the call transported the remaining two injured parties, once they were cut free from their cars. We remained on scene, though we terminated medical command, until the fire crew was ready to depart the scene, just in case anyone managed to get hurt during clean up. Finally, we headed back to the station to start our shifts, officially.

* * *

Call after call, it was the same thing from Pauli. She pestered me the whole shift about Tony.

"Is he coming back? Do you think it was right to suspend him?"

These and other variants of the same theme peppered me in between two cardiac arrests, a near drowning, a broken clavicle, three medical emergency runs, and a routine transport to get someone's shunt replaced. The last thing I needed was Pauli on my case about something I hadn't been involved in to begin with.

"Thank goodness, we made it to the end of the shift," I sighed as we backed the rig into the bay. All I wanted was to grab my gear and get home to bed. Sadly, the fates had other plans for me.

"Donny, get in here!" bellowed the captain as soon as I opened the door to the rig.

"What did you do wrong, Donny? You've only been a supervisor for a week and you're already getting summoned?"

Pauli was teasing me, but I was wondering the same thing myself.

I grabbed my gear, tossed the checkout list to Pauli, and headed to the Cap's office. Knocking on the open door, I waited for him to motion me inside.

"Yeah, Cap? You bellowed?" I grinned as I said it, hoping to lighten the tension I felt.

He grinned at me, and then he motioned to a seat in front of his desk. "Sit down, Donny, it is time for a little chat."

I really didn't like the sound of that, but I knew that this man was infamous for making people sweat and then giving good news as often as bad news. I waited for him to say something while trying to figure out what I could have messed up already.

"How are you liking the new rank? Settling in all right?"

That wasn't what I expected, so I just nodded. "It's going okay, Cap. I'm getting over the shock at least. Is something wrong?" I figured I might as well just ask now and save myself the ulcer that I could feel eating through my stomach lining.

He sighed and leaned back in his creaky leather desk chair. "I wasn't gonna bring this up to you yet but with the timing of some other stuff I have no choice. I know you're new to the rank but part of your job will be doing medic evaluations. I'm gonna need to have you do a couple to help Spike out. She's running behind with them right now and we have a couple due soon. If you have any questions, Spike'll help ya out, or you can come see me."

He handed me a short list of three evals to write up, but there was a problem. Pauli's name was on the list. He must have seen me looking uneasy and he called me on it right away.

"Problem, Donovan? Don't like your list?"

"Actually, Cap, can I swap one name out for another one? It would really help me out."

I prayed I wouldn't have to come clean about why but luck was not in my favor. I should have known that from the kind of day I'd already dealt with though.

"Why should I do that? First set of evaluations and you already want to switch them up? You gotta gimme a reason for it first. And, Donny, it better be a doozy!"

Shit! I really didn't want to tell him, but what choice did I have in the end? Besides, if I had my way, Caity would be my date to station events, and everyone would know about us anyway.

"Cap, I'm kind of in a personal relationship that…" I didn't know how to explain it and my brain was too tired to help me out.

The captain's face grew serious and he leaned forward in his chair. "You aren't involved with one of the other medics, are you? You know what kind of problems that can bring. We'll have to transfer one of you."

I hurried to clear up his concern, "No, it isn't anything like that Cap, but I am seeing someone, pretty seriously. The problem is one of my list is related to my girlfriend."

While I waited to get chewed out he just stared at me. I swear, he must have sat there staring for at least a full minute before he said anything to me. All of a sudden, I heard this rumble. I looked around and realized it was coming from the captain! He busted up, laughing his ass off! He laughed until tears were coming out of his eyes, and then he laughed some more. I thought I was gonna have to go get an oxygen tank for him!

"Damn, Donny, I never thought I'd see the day! You of all people involved with a crewmate's relative? She who preaches against firehouse romance? Who is it? Who do I have to swap out for you?"

I filled him in on me and Caity, then he agreed to move Pauli to Spike's list and he gave me someone else instead. I thanked him and got up to leave. Before I could reach the door, he called out to me quietly.

"Donny, it really is good to see you involved and happy again. I knew something was different lately but you were so quiet I was afraid to ask. You deserve this, don't forget that, okay? You're one of my best medics but you have to have a life outside of the house too. Now, get outta here and let me do some work!"

The Cap winked at me and grinned as I headed out the door. I grabbed my gear from the lounge where I had left it and headed for the parking lot. I drove home whistling, happy that my day had ended decently after all.

* * *

A couple of days after my meeting with the captain, I was sitting at the desk in the medic office, working on the evaluations. I had been given Gina as a partner, a newcomer to the station. She had only been transferred in a week before I was promoted. She did have a good background; three years as an EMT for a neighboring county's 911 system, she aced her firefighter training, and was in the top five percent in her paramedic training. So far she had good reports from Spike, the only other medic she had ride time with other than myself. We were on duty today on a twenty-four hour rotation.

As I looked over her file and made some notes, my cell rang. I grabbed it from the desk and looked at the number before answering it.

"Hey, baby, how's your shift going?" asked Caity when I greeted her.

"Well, we had a couple of minor fender benders, nothing too serious. One good chest pain call for Gina to work on. How about you?" I put down my pen and notepad, totally focused on listening to Caity's voice and picturing her at home on the patio.

"I'm good, just missing you. I just wanted to hear your voice for a few minutes. How much longer before you get off shift?"

I checked my watch and sighed. "Another five hours to go. At least I'm off the next three days. What are we doing tonight?"

I was planning on going to her place after my shift ended. I would be off work around eighteen hundred hours and I couldn't wait to shed my uniform and be a civilian for a few days.

"I figured you would be tired and want an early night so I picked up some groceries. We can have dinner here and a quiet night if you don't mind."

"Mind? It sounds heavenly. I'm sick of this uniform, I'm sick of klaxons, bunks, and feeling like I live in a dorm!" I admit it, I went a bit overboard, but I don't normally work twenty-fours anymore. As a senior medic, I had rotated to mostly day shifts a couple of years ago, and I liked it that way.

Caity chuckled, the sound warming my soul, "Goofball! You know you live for that stuff! Well, maybe not the dorm living, that does suck. Are you sure you won't mind sharing space with me tonight?"

"Mind? It is the thing keeping me sane right now. All I really need is—"

The Klaxon sounded and our tones rang out as we were dispatched on another call.

"I hear it, go do some good, sweetie, I'll be here when you get off shift. Love you!"

"Love you too, bye."

I quickly put my phone in my holster and retied my unlaced boots, before heading to the rig. The call was a possible pediatric drowning victim, no adult on scene. I met with Gina as we both got to the rig, and I climbed in to crew chief the call. I hate going out on pediatric calls, most EMS responders do, but I really hate it when I'm with a probie. The dilemma is, do you let them drive while wound too tightly or do you trust them in the back with a delicate call?

Thankfully, Gina grew up about a mile from the station so I felt safe having her drive us. At least, she wouldn't get us lost and she had more EMS experience than most probies.

"Medic two two three from county." The radio crackled to life and I grabbed the microphone.

"County, medic two two three, go ahead."

"Medic two two three, you have an eight-year-old male with a shallow pulse and no breathing. Two adults now on scene, no parents, one adult performing rescue breathing. ETA to scene?"

"County, medic two two three copies, eight-year-old not breathing, aid being given. ETA two minutes."

At least I could get a game plan now that we had an idea of what we were dealing with on scene.

"Gina, grab a board, the litter, and O₂. I'll get the peds bag and drop a tube after assessment. I'll also have the monitor but we'll have to see what the scene is like before we use it."

"Affirmative. Children's hospital or the trauma center?"

"I'll make the call once I assess, but I'm leaning towards a trauma center depending on down time and mechanism."

What I meant was, I don't have a fucking clue, stop talking, and let me think! I absolutely did not want this kind of call right now, but the call volume gods are tricksters, and they tinker with things we wished they would leave alone. If the kid had been pushed or injured before he or she went under water, then the trauma center was the best place. Same if the patient had been down, without oxygen for any length of time. However, if the patient was generally healthy and had simply been submerged without other trauma, I might decide on Children's as they would have the best pediatricians around to deal with kid emergencies.

"County, medic two two three, arriving on scene."

"Two two three, copy eleven oh six." County gives us the time to record on our reports, but I wasn't even paying attention, I'd call up later and get the time records.

I grabbed my gear and headed for the backyard, a small boy in swim trunks was waving me over, still holding the telephone. I jogged over and went past him to the pool deck. I saw a woman herding three other kids away towards the sliding glass doors of the house. A man was giving rescue breathing to the patient, who was positioned about two yards from the in-ground pool. The area around the child was dry, so I would be able to use the monitor.

I announced my presence and dropped to my knees on the other side of the patient. I took in the pale skin, not quite blue nail beds and lips, and I saw no obvious signs of trauma. I pulled gear out as I spoke to the man, "Sir, do you know what happened here?"

"I live next door, but I heard the kids yelling and playing. Then I heard a difference in the yelling. Something sounded wrong so I came over to check. That's when I saw him. He was floating face down in the water. I got him out and started CPR and got one of the kids to call 911."

"Sir, please stop CPR for a moment." After a quick pulse and breathing check, I slid an endotracheal tube down his airway, secured it in place, and tested the tube for positive placement. I had good lung inflation on both sides, so I passed the bag valve mask to Gina, who had arrived with her gear while I tubed the patient. Gina hooked up the oxygen and started bagging. I slapped the AED pads on the child and turned on the monitor. The larger pads allowed me to monitor the heart rhythm and allow me to shock the heart if needed, without having to charge paddles and risk poor placement.

"Everyone stand clear. V-Fib, I'm shocking."

The small child's body jumped slightly with the electrical shock and we all watched the monitor, praying it would change.

"There! We have a rhythm!" Gina almost shouted as she resumed ventilation.

His color was getting better with the additional oxygen supply but his heart rhythm was a bit bradycardiac. That meant he had been under for a little while, and we had to get him into the trauma ER fast.

"Yeah, but it's a bit slow. Let's roll." I said as I started to move the board closer to the patient.

She nodded and used one hand to stuff gear into the bag next to her while using the other to ventilate the patient. I had gotten all the information from the man that I could. He agreed to stay to deal with the police, who had just arrived on scene. Gina and I moved the boy onto the board and onto the litter. We didn't bother strapping him to the board, but I wanted it there in case he arrested and I needed to do compressions.

We loaded him in and Gina took off for the hospital running lights and sirens the whole way. I started a line and drew bloods for the ER, pushed some Atropine in, and then contacted medical command. The boy's heart rate started to increase slowly, but I had to keep bagging him as I worked. We got to the ER and we went in fast with him. The ER staff directed us to trauma bay one where the staff was standing by.

They kicked into action as we arrived, one nurse grabbed the bloods I had drawn and sent them for stat results with a transport person, another and the doctor helped us move the boy onto the gurney, and a resident grabbed the Ambu bag and started breathing for the boy. Gina and I stepped back and rolled our litter out into the hall. We stood by and watched the ballet of the trauma team as they worked on our small patient.

"C'mon, c'mon, breathe. Breathe!"

As if responding to the doctor's order, the resident reported increased effort in bagging. That meant the kid was trying to get some air on his own. We waited, wanting to see the outcome of this one. Kid calls seem to matter more than most. I did make a show of stripping and cleaning the litter in the hallway, but I don't think we fooled anyone. We heard a whoop of joy and a nurse came over and told us the patient's heart rate had picked up and he was breathing on his own. They were giving him a good chance of recovery, depending on the next twenty-four hours and how much water might have gotten into his lungs. Further tests would be done, but at least, for now, this went down as a save.

I gave Gina a high-five and grinned at her. She grinned back and we must have looked like fools, standing there, next to our partially remade litter. We tossed our gear back on the litter and went outside to the ambulance entrance to finish cleaning up the rig. I called in to the station to let them know our status and that we would be out of service for a few more minutes while we cleaned up.

Finally, a bit weary from the adrenalin rush and fade, we climbed in the rig and headed back to base. I called in to county to get our times for the call and was dumbfounded at the results.

"Gina, did you realize we were on scene for three minutes? We did all that in three minutes?" I was in shock, I knew we had moved fast, but that was damn fast considering he was monitored, tubed, bagged, and shocked before we moved him.

Gina looked over, slightly in awe, "Are you sure? That seemed longer to me."

"I guess it was one of those moments where time slows down while we work. You did a great job out there, Gina. Keep up the good work, Probie!"

I grinned at her again and she laughed.

"I'm still a probie after all of that? Fine, I guess I can deal, but if I make three more saves this month, I'm off probie status, right?" She grinned right back, taking the teasing and giving it to me as well. She might do okay here.

CHAPTER 6

"CAITY, ARE YOU ready yet? We have to get going if we're going to help set up!"

I was waiting for Caity so we could go to a barbeque at the park. Some of the people from the station were having a little get together and I had offered an extra table and some chairs. These events took place a couple of times throughout spring and summer, but this was the first time since Karen left that I was bringing a date. So yeah, I admit to being a little nervous.

"Hang on, I'm coming, just had to finish wrapping up the coleslaw and the watermelon. Can you carry the melon plate and I'll get the slaw?"

I went into the kitchen, grabbed the platter of sliced watermelon, and resisted swiping a piece. We got into the truck and headed towards the park. It was a wonderful day, perfect weather with a clear sky and a slight breeze. Spring had faded into early summer and it was more than welcome.

The first person I saw when we got to the park was Tony. He had been back on the job for a couple of weeks, but he still didn't seem quite himself yet. He was very quiet and seemed to prefer spending his downtime alone or working out. I wasn't sure yet what was going on with him, but I was very glad to see him out to socialize with us again.

"Hey, Tony! Ya wanna come give us a hand here? We have that long table for the food plus some chairs and stuff in the back."

He came over and waited for me to drop the tailgate.

"Hi, Caity. Hey, Donny. So what do you have in that cooler? Some of your coleslaw?" he asked hopefully.

I laughed. "Not exactly, it is slaw but we followed Caity's recipe this time. It's close to mine though, I think you'll like it. If you don't, that leaves more for me!" I gave him a nudge and he headed off to the pavilion that was assigned to our group. After getting the table set up, he came back for the cooler.

We carried the chairs and the rest of our supplies over and started arranging things. Some of the guys were getting the big grills set up with charcoal and wood chunks for the chicken, corn, and burgers that would go on later. Someone set up a portable CD player and got the music going, while some of the wives and girlfriends sat around keeping an eye on the kids and helping with food preparation. It felt great to spend time with my family again.

Caity came over to me and asked me softly, "How open are you willing to be about us right now? Have you told anyone that we're dating? I wanted to ask sooner, but it slipped my mind."

I looked over at her and grinned. I hadn't told anyone yet but I figured that this was as good a time as any to announce it. I grabbed her hand and pulled her close to me. I moved my head closer to hers and said, "I'm very ready to divulge our little secret. Trust me?"

She smiled and nodded, then looked a little surprised when I hopped up on the bench of one of the picnic tables.

"Hey! Everybody! I have an announcement!" I waited for the noise level to drop a bit before I continued. "Some of you know that I've been a little easier to work with lately." The expected chuckles and jeers happened then quieted. "I just wanted to let you all know at once, I'm finally dating someone who is likely to understand this knuckle headed bunch I call family! Caity and I started dating recently, so be nice to her, she deserves it for putting up with me!"

I jumped off the bench to the laughter and cheers of my firehouse family and stood next to Caity. I took her hand and smiled, "How was that? Think they know we're dating now?"

"You are absolutely insane," laughed Caity.

It felt amazingly good to be able to spend the day with my firefighter family and Caity, merging the two most important things in my life. People congratulated us and warned Caity throughout the day, teasing me at the same time. All would have been perfect if not for that niggling self-doubt and fear in the back of my head. I kept thinking back to why I wasn't meant to be in a relationship. It all came about during my time with Karen.

We dated for several months after our first night together. Eventually, I suggested that she and I move in together and she agreed enthusiastically. I thought things were perfect. I was enjoying my work as a medic, steadily gaining knowledge and experience, and she seemed to enjoy her work in nursing. Things seemed great for the first couple of years.

I remember coming home one night after a twenty-four-hour shift to find Karen waiting for me with a romantic dinner laid out, soft music, candles, and an envelope propped up on the table by my plate. I smiled, leaned in towards her and gave her a kiss hello before reaching for the envelope. As I opened it, I felt her excitement and I couldn't wait to read the card.

Inside the envelope was a card with a picture of a baby and a puppy on the front. Inside, the card was blank other than the handwritten words, "I love you. Can I have your baby?" To say I was in shock was an understatement. I hadn't thought about kids yet. We hadn't talked about kids, and I didn't know what to say. I looked up to see a warm glow in her eyes and a hopeful smile on her face.

"So, what do you think, honey? Let's have a baby! I'll carry it so it won't interfere with your medic career!" Karen's eyes sparkled and danced with joy and excitement. I think she never considered that kids might not be something I was ready for just yet.

"Um, it is really sweet of you, but we haven't talked about this at all Karen. I don't know if I'm ready for kids yet."

I stalled, not knowing how to handle this situation. The truth was I was afraid of starting a family at that point. I couldn't work a set schedule and do the work that I love. I didn't have regular hours and my job was dangerous. I wanted to enjoy my life as it was, share time with Karen, see my friends, party when I wanted, and sleep when I wanted. I wanted kids, but not for a few more years. Maybe after I made supervisor status or something.

"Honey, when did you decide you wanted a baby? Why haven't you said anything?" I had to know. I felt blindsided and was trying to get my feet back under me.

"I've always wanted kids, I thought you knew that. Donny, what's wrong? Don't you want kids? Or is it that you aren't sure you want to stay with me?" Karen looked hurt and that broke my heart. I never meant to hurt her, I was just in shock so I tried to reassure her.

"Karen, I didn't say I don't want kids, I just didn't expect this tonight. I'm honored that you want to have a baby with me, really. I just don't know if I'm ready for that yet."

I felt like a jerk but I didn't know how to tell her that I just didn't plan on having kids for several years.

"So, we can talk about it? I guess I sprang it on you without any warning, huh?" She gave me a small grin. "I was just so excited after I talked to my doctor. She said I'm in perfect health and a good age to start considering having kids. I'd like to do it. I want to have kids. What do you think?"

What could I think? This was important to her, though I didn't feel ready. It wasn't as if I hated kids or anything. I guess I figured that if she wanted them badly enough, then it was one of the compromises and sacrifice things I needed to do for her. Besides, maybe I'd enjoy it once I got my head wrapped around the idea. After all, I bought the house figuring to fill it with a family one day. I just figured that was a long while away.

"Sure, baby, sure, I was just taken by surprise. We never really talked about it but, yeah, if you really want to have kids, then I guess we should."

Karen leapt up and gave me a hug, a kiss that would melt my socks, and dragged me into the bedroom. We made love all night long, and I figured I must have made the right choice.

The quick version is, we fought about the way to do the conception, but in the end, she agreed with me that it was too weird not to go through a sperm bank. I didn't want to look at the kid and think of some guy I knew. We saved up, picked a company, and eventually a donor. She tracked her cycle and we ordered the insemination package. I followed the instructions to the letter, but month after month, she didn't get pregnant.

I wasn't that upset or concerned and Karen seemed to take it all in stride. What I hadn't realized was that she was devastated and blaming herself for the lack of conception. I simply figured it wasn't the right time and the powers that be were letting us know it. I was blind to her pain, immersed as I was in my own life at the station. About a year later, right around the time I met Caitlyn in person, Karen and I decided to take a break from trying to conceive.

Karen started pulling away from me, not wanting to make love, not spending as much time alone with me. I wasn't too concerned. I knew she was sad, but she loved me and I didn't think about maintaining that bond. I thought that she just needed time to regroup, so I left her to do that on her own. What I should have done, from the start, was let her know that I wasn't ready for kids. I was relieved when she didn't conceive and that contributed to my ignorance of her pain. I knew that I would want time alone to come to terms with things so I assumed that was what she needed.

I had my head so far up my ass that I couldn't have seen daylight if I tried. Karen needed me to comfort and console her. I went drinking with my friends and didn't make an effort to include her because she was too depressed. I didn't see the depth of her pain, instead, I felt and acted as if I had dodged a bullet. She saw through that and was even more hurt. It was the beginning of the end, but I was too stupid, selfish, and blind to recognize it.

We lasted about another year, and Karen's mood started improving about six months before she broke up with me. I thought she was just coming around and getting out of her funk. The reality was, she was putting her life back together to restart in another place, without me, to try to have a child on her own. I just didn't see it until it was too late.

When she told me about her plans, I knew it was my fault. I had turned away from her instead of talking it out. I have always had a hard time talking about my feelings and being a paramedic didn't help matters. Part of our training is to repress our feelings until after the shift, or at the very least, after the call. If I cried after every tragic thing I saw, I could fill an ocean with tears. I learned to tamp down my feelings and pack them away. This helped me lose Karen. I just wasn't there for her when she needed me to be. The worst part was I really did believe that she would get over things without my help. I understood the term partner so well when applied to my job, yet I didn't apply the same meaning in my private life.

All of this went through my head when I thought about my relationship with Caity. I never wanted to let her down as I had let down Karen. Things with Caity grew slowly and were so much more intense for me. I knew deep down that if I lost her through my own stupidity that I might never recover. This was it for me, I had to get this right, or I would be alone for the rest of my life. And yes, I'm aware that I can be very melodramatic, but it's still the way I felt.

* * *

"Open the door, Chloe, before my arms fall off!" Caity said as she waited for me to fumble with the key to my front door.

"I'm working on it," I grumbled as I juggled the bags from the barbeque, Caity's overnight bag, and my keys, while trying to open the door. She had the cooler and refused to set it down while I opened the door.

"There we go, just dump it in the kitchen. I'll take care of it." I dropped the bags from the barbeque with the leftover paper goods, utensils, and various items, before heading to the bedroom to toss in her bag. Finally, I headed back to the kitchen to find her unpacking the cooler.

"Hey, I was going to do that!" I tried to take over but she was already done.

"Chloe, I can handle it. I love the way you want to protect me, but I'm a big girl. I can handle stuff like this, really. You were never this protective when we were just friends. What's going on?"

I knew it! This was too good to last. I was already upsetting her, and I didn't know how to stop myself. No matter what I thought was the right thing, it wasn't. I pulled away and made a show of dumping the ice in the sink.

"Chloe, what is it? Did I say something wrong?" I could hear the concern in her voice, but I couldn't make myself talk. I was driving myself insane with thoughts of how I messed up with Karen and how badly it would hurt when I lost Caity. That was the problem, it wasn't if I lost her, it was when I lost her.

"Chloe, I mean it, sit down, and talk to me. I need you to tell me why you're shutting down."

She tugged my hand and pulled me into the living room. We sat on my sofa, and she waited patiently for me to say something. The problem was, I didn't know what to say. How do you tell someone that you are totally messed up inside?

"I'm fine, Caity. I'm just tired from the day." Damn, that sounded like bullshit, even to me. I soldiered on though, "I'll be fine once I get a good night's sleep. Why don't we go to bed?"

She shook her head, and I knew she didn't believe me. I guess that is the benefit and downfall of falling in love with one of your best friends. They know you well enough to call you on your bullshit.

"I'm not tired yet, and I want to talk. Is that okay?" Caity's voice was soft and soothing, the calm demeanor she used as a dispatcher. I had always trusted that voice, even when it was just a voice on the radio.

"Uh, sure, what did you want to talk about? Did you see Tony today? He seemed almost back to himself." I tried to deflect the conversation away from me, but it wasn't going to work.

"Sweetie, Tony is a nice kid, but he isn't the one I'm currently worried about. I could use your advice actually."

"Sure, Caity, whatever I can do to help. What's going on?" I thought that perhaps I was free and clear for now. There was something else bugging her and I could try to help her deal with it.

"Right now, the woman I've been best friends with for years, the woman that has recently become my lover, is hurting, and I don't know how to fix it. How do you suggest I treat her injuries?"

I stood up, not liking the surprise attack, as I thought of it. "I don't know what you're talking about, I'm fine. I told you, I'm just tired. I'm sorry if I'm grumpy. I was stressed about today. It all went fine and now I'm tired. C'mon, baby, let's go to bed." I tugged on her hand, pulling her to her feet.

Caity let me lead her to the bedroom and was quiet while we got ready for bed. I peeled back the comforter and climbed in first, waiting for her before pulling the comforter up and cocooning us.

"G'nite honey, I love you. Let's just get some sleep, okay?"

I could feel her concern, but she finally relaxed and said, "I love you too. You can talk to me when you're ready. I'll be here."

It took me a while, but I finally fell asleep to the sound of sirens in my head.

* * *

I awoke to find myself snuggled tightly against Caity. I almost had to struggle to figure out where I ended and she began. I lay there for a few minutes, reveling in her warmth and the comfort of her presence. Then I remembered the talk from yesterday. I knew it would return, and I had to figure out how to deal with it. I started to roll out of bed when a warm arm snaked around my middle, pulling me back.

"Where do you think you're going? I haven't had my way with you yet!"

Caity was trying to wake up and give me a credible leer at the same time. The effect was adorable, and I felt my heart melt for her all over again.

"I was just going to the bathroom. Can I still go if I promise to come right back?" I asked her teasingly.

"I suppose so, but bring me some OJ when you come back to me, slave!" Caity said in the most imperious tone she could manage, but the effect was ruined by her rather large yawn mid-sentence.

I tossed a pillow at her as I walked away, and then said, "Your wish is my command, mistress, as always."

I chuckled as I headed to the kitchen after my time in the bathroom. I gathered some orange juice, bagels, cream cheese, and stacked it all on a couple of plates. I carried it in just as she was coming out of the bathroom.

"Hey, what's all this? I was kidding about the OJ. I was about to come out and get some. You don't have to wait on me."

"Yeah, I know, but I thought I was supposed to come back and snuggle. I decided to combine activities." I grinned, knowing she couldn't turn down a chance for breakfast in bed. Sure enough, she jumped back into bed, took the orange juice from me, and smoothed out the covers so I could set things down.

We enjoyed our time together and eventually, after we ate, talk turned back to the previous night. I knew I wouldn't luck out forever, and now there was no excuse of exhaustion or hunger to fall back on.

"So, are you going to tell me what was bothering you last night? Or should I guess?" Caity looked over at me with so much determination that I didn't know what to say or do. All I could think of was finding a way to distract her and not let her see that I wasn't the right choice for her.

"I told you last night, I was just over tired and worried that you would overdo it with the cooler."

"And I already told you, I don't believe that story for a minute. I remember how you were when Karen left town. If you think I'm going to hurt you, why did you announce us to everyone yesterday? Or is that what freaked you out?"

"I don't know. I just felt weird last night. I still think I was just too tired. I didn't feel like I was making any sense. Can we just leave it at that, please?"

Caity looked over at me again, and her gaze softened, but I saw pain there as well. Somehow, without meaning to, I was hurting another woman I loved. I didn't know how to stop myself from doing it either.

"Chloe, sweetie, I understand how hurt you were. I was there, remember? I'm not her. You aren't the same person you were then either. I'm not asking for something that you can't give me. I just want your trust, and I want you to share your thoughts and feelings with me. I knew before I told you how I felt, that there was a chance you wouldn't be able to return my feelings. I know how shut down you've been. I'm just asking that you try to tell me. It's okay to be afraid, to want something, to disagree with me."

I looked away, unable to meet those expressive hazel eyes. I knew what she wanted, but I didn't know if I could deliver it. I would have to break through thick barriers that I had erected to protect myself. What would happen if I took them down, if I let her inside me fully? Wouldn't the real me just scare her away, just as it did with Karen?

"I think I know what you mean, but Caity, really, I do trust you. I know you aren't Karen. I'm not the same just off probation medic I was when she and I got together either. I don't want to see you get hurt. I couldn't take it if I hurt you too!"

I started to choke up so I stood, walked over to the window, and stared outside. I couldn't look at her, not now, not until I was under control again.

"What is it you're afraid of? Why are you trying to remain the big, bad, super cool medic with all the answers? Talk to me." Her voice was gentle and I could hear her concern.

Caity slipped out of bed and came to me. She wrapped her arms around me from behind and tried to pull me back against her, but I resisted. At least at first. It felt too damn good to lean into her though, and I found myself wanting to share my fears with her. I didn't know how to start. She already knew some of what happened with Karen but not quite everything. 

"I don't want you to think poorly of me, but the truth is, Karen was right to leave me, Caity. I wasn't the right person for her, and I didn't even have the guts to tell her how I really felt about things. At least, not until it was too late to change anything."

She waited quietly, letting me gather my thoughts. I tried to figure out how to tell her what a loser I was when it came to personal relationships without losing her. I finally decided I had to tell her what I was thinking. She wasn't going to give it a rest until I did. I steeled myself for the rejection that would inevitably follow, just as it had most of my life when I opened up too far.

"What you didn't know about me and Karen was that she really wanted to have kids back then. We never talked about it before, but she sprang it on me over a surprise romantic evening. Suddenly, everything was all about having a kid. There were sperm donors to consider, clinics, methods of conception, everything. She even asked my brother if he would donate his sperm so that this kid could have genetic material from both of us. She did that without even talking to me first! I was furious!"

I stopped for a moment to gather myself. This wasn't Karen in front of me, but I could feel the anger surge, even now. While I was quiet, she took the opportunity to speak.

"I can't believe she did that behind your back. No wonder you have trust issues sometimes."

I shook my head. "That isn't all of it, and it wasn't all her fault either. When she first brought up kids, I was too afraid to let her down. I didn't tell her that I didn't really want any kids just then. I hadn't thought about being a single parent and then when we got together, I was enjoying just being us, so I didn't think about kids then either. When we finally settled on a donor clinic and picked a donor number, I still wasn't positive I wanted to give up my way of life for kids. I agreed to it all, but I never told her that I still wasn't sure about having a kid. I didn't really want to do it then. We tried for close to a year to get her pregnant, but it didn't work.

When we decided to take a break, I was so relieved. It felt like I had gotten a last minute stay of execution. Instead of telling her that, or trying to comfort her and understand her sadness, I partied. I was out drinking and partying with the station guys, while she was home, convinced she was a failure as a woman. I never noticed. Heck, I never even bothered to try. It was my fault that she left."

Caity stood there silently, holding me against her from behind still. I didn't feel any change in her, but I was too afraid to turnaround and look at her face. I had begun to cry as I told the story, feeling the pain I caused Karen and the pain of losing her all over again.

"Honey, you made mistakes, she made mistakes, neither of you are fully to blame. You weren't honest about your feelings, but it sounds like she wasn't either. Is there more?"

How did she know? I had never admitted the last part of all of this to anyone. Hell, I had hardly admitted it to myself. Yet, Caity seemed to know there was more to the story, more to why I didn't trust easily anymore.

Sighing, I pushed myself to tell her the rest. "I haven't told anyone about this before. I really want this to work with us, but…"

Caity pulled away then, but she pulled me by the hand to sit on the bed with her. Lifting my chin with her hand, she made me look her in the eyes.

"What do you see when you look at me, Chloe?"

"I see you, I see Caitlyn." I was puzzled but tried to play along.

"I see so much when I look at you, Chloe. I see your love, your fear, and your pain. I see that big heart that you tucked away behind walls you thought were unbreakable. I see your strength and intelligence. So, in essence, when I look at you, I see you, I see Chloe."

More tears started coming down my cheeks again as she spoke so sweetly to me. She made me want to be a better woman for her, but if I told her the rest, would she still want me?

"Caity, there is more to the story, you were right. I just never wanted anyone to know. I was so ashamed, I just wasn't good enough for her." I took in a shuddering breath, trying to make myself say the words. "When I came home the night we broke up, I found her there waiting for me. Well, sort of waiting for me. I think she knew when I would be home and planned it. She was in our bed with a man. She said that since I couldn't give her the child she wanted, she found someone who could. He was willing to take care of her through the pregnancy and then sign away rights to the baby. She didn't care what she had to do. All that had ever mattered to her was having a baby. She told me before she moved out that she didn't love me, I was just someone she thought was kind and would be a good parent."

As I related the worst of it, I lost control and burst into loud, body shaking crying. Caity held me, rocking me gently back and forth. She whispered stuff to me as I cried myself out finally, and held me as I slept. I don't know how long I was out, but when I woke up, Caity was still there holding me safely.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to unload on you. I certainly didn't mean to fall asleep on you after I did."

Caity hugged me tighter and said, "Sweetie, you have nothing to apologize for at all. You were treated so badly by her! No wonder you never really dated after that fiasco. All I can tell you is that I will never, ever withhold important information from you. Nor will I ever sleep with someone else while we are together. It is you I love, and only you that I want."

I burrowed into her side and clung to her, praying that it was true. I wanted so badly to believe her and trust in the words she spoke. "Caity, it's going to take me some time, is that all right? I don't mean to push you away, I really don't. I'm not used to talking about a lot of stuff and believing what other people say is harder for me than talking."

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Take the time you need and try to have faith that it will all work out in time."

I felt better having told her about it, but I still worried about the future and what it might bring. At least I didn't have to worry about telling her and losing her anymore. She didn't seem upset by what I had done as much as she was upset for me. That was a completely new experience. It was something I was willing to get used to experiencing.

CHAPTER 7

IT WAS A bright, clear day, exactly the kind of sunny day that leaves no one with the will to go to work. Unfortunately for me, that is exactly where I was headed. It was a couple of weeks after the station get together and already the guys were talking about having another party since the weather had been so great. Our call volume had dropped a bit, so I was spending some of my down time working on new training programs for the probies. I also worked with Spike on my own training as a supervisor. There was a heck of a lot of paperwork involved and I needed her help to wade through it all.

I had no sooner dumped my gear bag in my locker than the station klaxon sounded. I dropped down the pole to the bay and told Tony that he could go home and I'd take the call. Pauli would be my partner, since I was early and Gina wasn't in yet. He gave me a look of thanks and stepped out of my way as I jumped in the rig.

Pauli guided us rapidly to the scene, a construction site about a mile away from the station. As we arrived on scene, we looked for our "injured person" as the call was dispatched. What we found was a group of kids with skateboards and rollerblades, grouped around two kids lying on the ground.

Pauli and I split up to assess each kid. I took the taller one on the left, while she took the smaller kid on the right. Neither kid wore a helmet and there was blood on the ground. I started with the basics, airway, breathing, and circulation. Thankfully, all three were present, though I wasn't thrilled with the pulse rate and quality. It felt a little weak and thready, not consistent, as I would hope. He was unconscious and was not responding to voice stimulus. I moved to start the exam when I heard Pauli call to me.

"Donny, I'm calling for back up. Looks like both need transport."

I nodded and resumed my examination. I started my head to toe survey, feeling for evidence of injuries as I palpated the whole body. There was an open head wound, an obvious fracture in his right arm, a possible pelvis fracture, and a probable femur fracture. Police arrived on scene as I finished my exam and started to move the kids away and question them. I grabbed one cop to help me.

"Hey, Joey, can you give me a hand here? I got a kid with multiple fractures and I gotta get a collar on him."

"Yeah, lemme get some gloves on."

He pulled a pair of gloves from a pouch on his duty belt, and then knelt down so that the top of the kid's head was perpendicular to his knees. He put his hands on either side of the kid's head and applied the most mild of pulls to attain stabilization, allowing me to measure and fit the kid with a collar to keep his neck safer.

"Thanks, Joey, can you stay with me till I get him stabilized and boarded? I'm kind of worried about his neck and airway."

He nodded and watched while I worked. I splinted the right arm before grabbing the long backboard from the rig.

"Okay, on the count of three, we'll roll him away from his injured right side, ready? Up on his left, on three. One, two, three."

We rolled him on his left side, Joey holding his head and neck steady, while I did a quick exam of his back and placed the board so that we could roll him onto it.

"You okay, Joey? Ready to position him?"

"Affirmative, let's do it."

"Slide down towards me and over, on three. One, two, three. Now up and over on three. One, two, three. Great, let me get him strapped on and then we can load him up. I need to start a line on him too."

Joey helped me lift him onto the litter and secure him to that, and then we loaded him in the rig. I put the monitor on him, started him on some oxygen, took vitals, and then looked for a good place to start a line. Just after I got the IV started and was doing a second exam, Pauli opened the back door of the rig.

"Hey, the second crew is here and has the other patient. Do you need anything from me or should we roll?"

"Roll and roll quick. I don't like his pulse and he's not responding to pain. His BP is elevated and his pupils are sluggish."

"Got it. Lights and sirens in."

She hopped out and climbed in the front. I vaguely heard her call county to let them know our status and destination. I kept looking over at the monitor, hoping to find a clue to this kid's condition. From the looks of the scene, the kids had climbed the fence to practice skateboard tricks at the construction sight. The two kids had probably collided on their boards, and this one had done some serious damage to himself.

All of a sudden his breathing pattern changed, not a good sign. I checked his pupils and one was blown. I grabbed a BVM and attached it to the oxygen before I started bagging him. I grabbed my airway kit and tubed him, sliding past the vocal chords and into the airway, almost without thought. I hooked the bag up to the tube and bagged him. Before I could contact command, we were at the hospital. Pauli came back and I kept bagging him as we got him inside.

We turned him over to the trauma team. I watched them work for a minute while I caught my breath. Then I grabbed our monitor and litter and moved it out of the room. Pauli followed me into the hallway and started stripping and cleaning the litter with mechanical, jerky motions. I felt slightly dazed by the call, but I started wrapping up the wires for the heart monitor and helping Pauli with the litter.

We got outside and started cleaning up the back of the rig. I had discarded bags and wrappers everywhere. We got the trash picked up, sanitized the rig, and loaded the litter back in. The whole time, neither of us said a thing. I looked over at Pauli and was surprised to see how pale she looked.

"Pauli, come sit down with me for a sec, okay?" I motioned to the back step of the rig and we took a seat. "How are you feeling? It was a pretty intense call, huh?"

Pauli didn't even look at me, she just replied. "Yeah, dumb kids."

"Dumb kids? Because they didn't wear helmets and pads, or ‘cause they broke in to a dangerous construction site?" I figured she had to talk about it, but wouldn't on her own.

"Both I guess. People just don't friggin' think, Donny! Who the hell did they think they were climbing that fence to take those chances? I don't understand it, I never understand it." She got really quiet then.

"I know, Pauli. It is a total waste. Just remember, all we can do is respond and patch them up. We get them to definitive care as quickly as possible and hope that we're fast enough. We try to teach the community but they don't always listen. We can only control small stuff, Pauli. You can't beat yourself up over it."

"Yeah, I know. It just sucks. That kid may not make it till morning and earlier he was probably dreaming of winning the X-Games."

We both stood up, got back in the rig, and then we headed for base. Pauli was due to go off shift and I had another trip report to write. I kept an eye on Pauli as she drove back. She didn't seem to shake the call off like usual. I was concerned, but I decided that she was just tired and would do better with some sleep.

* * *

Gina sat in the crew chief seat, the passenger seat, while I drove for a while. We had just finished a few back-to-back, minor calls. I was really hoping the most intense call of the day had been the one that morning with Pauli. I knew better than to voice it. The call volume gods were cruel masters. If I said it, the opposite of what I desired would happen.

Gina finished the telephone call she was on and turned towards me. "Hey, wanna stop and get something to eat? I could use a snack."

I shrugged. "Sure, any requests? I could swing by the diner, or we could hit the convenience store for something."

"What about the new place on Oak? I heard that they are pretty good. Besides, they have a good vegetarian selection."

"Works for me. I didn't know you were going veggie. When did that happen?"

"I guess I've been thinking about it and working towards it for a while. I'm not happy with the way I feel when I eat meat so I cut out red meat about a year ago. I just started phasing out poultry a month ago. Fish and seafood weren't a problem, I never liked them anyway."

After our meal, we headed back to base. As was typical, we were tapped for a call a few blocks from station. Gina answered the call from County.

"Medic two two three from county."

"County, two two three, go ahead."

"Medic two two three, we have a report of a pedestrian versus motor vehicle at Fourteenth Street and Long Lane. No PD on location at this time. What is your ETA?"

County, ETA one minute. What is PD's ETA?"

"Two two three, PD ETA four minutes."

"County, copy ETA, show us on location and dispatch a BLS unit please."

"Two two three, copy on location and dispatch BLS."

"Gina, check the car, I'll start on the pedestrian."

"Copy that!"

I made my way across the street with my primary gear bag and found the victim laying half on and half off of the sidewalk. He was not conscious, had an obvious break in his left humerus, and there was blood from an unknown source under him. Gina came over just as I made an initial assessment.

"Grab C-spine for me, I need to do a full assessment and find the blood source."

"Okay, I have him, let's collar."

I measured and secured the cervical collar before taking a set of vitals.

"Blood pressure is up, pulse is down. We might have internal bleeding and there is crepitus upon palpation of his pelvis. Load and go."

"Gotcha, boss. Larry, grab the board and litter, we need an assist with load and go." Gina yelled over to one of the three basic EMTs on the BLS crew.

I pulled out a trauma dressing in case I found the bleeding when we rolled him. Once Larry got set up, we rolled the patient, with Gina holding his head and neck, and I did a quick exam of his back. He had a puncture wound under his left clavicle that was bleeding. I applied the trauma pad to it and we rolled him onto the board.

"Ready, shift up on three, one, two, three. Good, get him secured and I'll start a line."

I managed to start the line and be ready to move by the time they had him strapped in and our gear collected. We got him up on the litter and moved to the rig.

"Larry, you're riding with us, I need the hands. Grab some vitals and get him on fifteen liters per minute by non-rebreather." He nodded and I had Gina let his crew chief know that we had taken Larry from his crew. I felt the rig shift as she climbed in the driver's seat.

"Take it easy but get us there." I told her. I meant, use lights only, sirens as needed but we weren't racing either. I got the monitor on the patient and after checking it, I called in to the ER to let them know what we were coming in with this time.

"Medical command, medic two two three."

"Go ahead medic two two three, this is command."

"Command, we are inbound with a male caucasian in his late teens or early twenties, involved in a pedestrian versus vehicle as the pedestrian. He is unresponsive to voice, pupils equal and reactive, equal lung sounds, puncture wound under left clavicle on his back, obvious fractures of the left humorous, and crepitus of the pelvic region. BP is one eighty-six over one twenty, pulse sixty-six per monitor, respirations eighteen on high flow. I have a line started, rhythm looks good. Would you like me to push anything? ETA is about four minutes."

There was a pause before command responded. I knew that meant the doc was looking over the notes the nurse had given him. The medical radio crackled back to life.

"Medic two two three, negative on medications at this time. Continue to monitor and repeat vitals. Contact us with any changes, otherwise, see you in a few."

I nodded as I cleared the channel. I hadn't really expected anything different but it is protocol to ask. Now and then, they surprise us and have us medicate with something we wouldn't have normally thought to use. I had Larry repeat vitals while I wrote up notes on the patient. I rechecked his level of consciousness but it remained unchanged. As we rolled up to the ER, the trauma team met us and whisked our patient away. I trotted to keep up, repeating my report and including the new set of vitals. We finished our turnover to the staff and left with our gear.

"Good job, guys. Larry, thanks for the help on that one. The extra set of hands came in handy. Let's find out where your crew is so we can arrange a meet up."

"I'll clean up the litter and gear, Donny. You get your paperwork handled, and get Larry squared away."

"Thanks, G, it won't take long."

I walked over to the admitting area and gave them what little information that I had and the guy's wallet with ID in it. Larry followed me and we headed for the EMT room to use the telephone. I called into county to get a location and status on Larry's crew. Larry excused himself to go to the restroom while he had the chance.

"County dispatch."

"Do you deliver? I'm in need of a sexy dispatcher right now." I grinned, but I couldn't help it. I loved hearing her voice when she was all official sounding.

"Honey? What's wrong? Why are you calling from an ER phone?"

"Everything's fine, sweetie. I borrowed an EMT on our last scene, and I need to return him before I incur a late fee. Any idea where BLS two is right now and what their status is?"

"Let me check."

I heard the background noise of the dispatch center as she checked for Larry's crew.

"It looks like they are en route to your location. You can leave him there for them to pick up."

"Thanks, baby. Any chance I can pick you up later? I only have another hour or so left on shift. Want to grab dinner with me?"

"Ah, Chloe, you know the way to my heart." Caity chuckled. "I'd love to do dinner but I have another few hours here. Can you wait for me?"

"Of course. Why don't you come over when you get done, and we can make plans."

"Sounds like a date. Be careful out there Ms. Medic, you just promised your time to me and I plan on collecting."

I grinned as I hung up. For some reason, late calls bothered me more now that I had someone to share my downtime. I knew I would be able to have dinner almost ready by the time she got to my place if I could get off shift on time.

I wandered out onto the ramp of the ER to find Gina and Larry perched on the rear step of the rig. "Larry, your crew is on the way here so we'll just leave you here, okay?"

"Sure thing, thanks for bringing me along for the ride. If you guys ever need a third, let me know. See you!" He gave a cheerful wave and ambled off to wait for his crew.

I settled next to Gina on the step as another rig from our company pulled up. I saw Spike behind the wheel, so I walked over to help them unload the patient. One of the new medics, Brett, jumped out and the patient looked stable. Gina gave Brett a hand getting their patient inside, and I hung outside with Spike.

"So, how's it going with Gina? Is she working out?" Spike looked at me over the top of her Oakley sunglasses.

"She's been doing really well. I like running with her. She seems to fit in well, and she certainly anticipates my needs when I'm running the call."

"How soon before you think you can cut her loose? Let her work with the rest of the crews?"

"Another week or two maybe. I wouldn't send her out with an EMT basic yet but she could run double with a different medic by then. Why? Something coming up?"

"I dunno, maybe. I was getting weird questions from above so I want us to be ready in case something shifts soon." Spike looked up as she heard the doors open from the ER. "No worries, just keep doing what you're doing, and I'll let you know when I know something."

"Hey, Spike? When is the last time we grabbed a beer? Do you wanna go hang out sometime soon? Or maybe come over?" I was aware that she looked tired. I also discovered that I couldn't remember hanging out with her since I got together with Caity.

"Yeah sure, gimme a call or something. We'll hook up. Now, get back to base so you can check out on time." Spike tossed a smile over her shoulder as she headed for her rig.

I climbed into our truck, put us available with county, and smiled when I heard my favorite dispatcher acknowledge me.

CHAPTER 8

"ARE YOU SURE? I don't mind if you want me to go home. I mean, if you two need some time alone."

I looked at Caity like she was growing three heads. "Why would I want you to go home? You've known Spike even longer than I have and she expects you to be here. What's going on?"

She shrugged in a non-committal manner. "I don't know, it just seems strange to entertain one of your friends here."

She was standing in the doorway to the living room, looking entirely too cute and awkward. I reached for her and pulled her in for a hug. "Baby, we already told people about us a while ago. We've been together for almost five months now. We've gone to some station stuff together, and you've helped me host stuff here before we ever thought about dating. Why wouldn't I want you here?"

"I don't know. I guess it was just a momentary panic. I know how important your relationship with Kristy is to you. I don't want to keep you from any of your odd paramedic bonding rituals."

"You know, now that I think about it, I think you are the only person who regularly calls her by her actual name. Why is that?"

The cutest blush spread up her neck until it reached her ears, turning her a lovely shade of pink. "Caity, what aren't you telling me? Now I have to know."

"Nothing really, I just never felt right calling her Spike." She didn't look at me when she said it, and I knew there was more to it than she was telling.

"Don't make me use the torture. You know you'll tell me, so just tell me."

"I did, there isn't anything else, really."

"Uh huh, sure. That's it woman! Torture time for you!" I bent low and scooped her up into a fireman's carry so that her upper body bent over my shoulder and I carried her into the bedroom. I dumped her on the queen size bed and grabbed her hands before she could move.

"Last chance, are ya gonna tell me? Or do I torture you?"

"C'mon, honey, we don't have time for this. Besides, I told you, I just never got in the habit."

"Okay, torture time!" I leaned over her, securing her arms with one of my hands and started tickling her with the other.

"Stop it! Stop it! I give, I give!" Caity lay there gasping for breath as I stopped tickling her.

"So, what is it? Why don't you call her Spike?"

"I'm just embarrassed, Chloe. Please don't tell her." Caity looked serious suddenly and she had started to blush.

"Honey, of course not, if you ask me to not tell, then I won't. What could be so bad though?"

"It isn't bad. I'm just embarrassed. When I became a dispatcher, we had to go through a CPR class. Kristy was the lead instructor and I totally crushed out on her. You know how she is. She doesn't introduce herself as Spike, so I thought of her as Kristy. Well, I was totally into her. I found reasons to stay during breaks to talk to her. I signed up with her for advanced first aid just to be around her some more. I figured I could work up the nerve to find out if she was gay and maybe ask her out."

I started chuckling. I could just picture a crush-ridden Caity trying to figure out Spike when they were both much younger. "What happened? Did you come on to her?"

"Thankfully, no, I didn't. I found out that she was straight and saved myself that humiliation at least. However, I never was able to think of her as anything other than Kristy."

I helped her up from the bed and smoothed out the comforter. We headed back out to the kitchen to get some food together and kept talking.

"That isn't too bad. Should I worry that you have a thing for medics? I mean, I'm not your first and all." I couldn't help but tease her a little bit. I was so into teasing her that I didn't even see the elbow coming, "Ooof! Hey, what was that for?"

"You earned it! You are the only other medic I've ever been interested in. You're acting like I had a line of them or something."

"I was just kidding! Honest! No more attacks or I'll have to subdue you!"

We were still teasing back and forth when the doorbell rang. I answered the door to find Spike there holding a couple of bottles of wine.

"Hey, I didn't know what we were having so I brought red and white."

I took them from her and thanked her. Caity showed up then, gave her a hug, and took the wine into the kitchen.

"Want something to drink? We have some wine, beer, soda, anything strike you?"

"Beer would be great, thanks."

I grabbed us both a beer and we headed to the enclosed patio to hang out. I had kept dinner simple, baked potatoes, shish-ka-bobs, and grilled asparagus. I was taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather. The charcoal was already lit and I was waiting for it to get to the cooking stage. We sat inside, just talking about stuff around the station until Caity joined us. She pulled a chair up next to me and took my hand before taking my beer and helping herself to a healthy swig.

"Hey! I was drinking that, wench!"

She laughed and smiled at Kristy. "So, how ya been, Kristy? Is this one giving you any trouble?" She nodded her head in my direction and took another swig of my beer before she handed it back to me.

"She's been doing pretty well actually. I know she didn't want the promotion but she's doing really well. I'm fine I guess, nothing new really. Just work, work, and more work."

"Um, hello? I'm right here! You two can stop talking about me like I'm not." I was teasing, but still, I was sitting right there.

"You aren't here though, you are in the kitchen getting the kebabs and asparagus and the small cooler." When I raised my eyebrow at Caity, she continued. "I put some extra beer, ice, and the butter and sour cream for the potatoes in it." I grinned at her, pleased with the way she prepared things.

"You got it, babe. I'll be right back."

I dropped a kiss on her head as I handed her my beer and went inside. When I came back out with the supplies and food, the two of them stopped talking.

"What's going on? Everything all right out here?"

"Yup, we're fine. Just talking about some stuff to do with my sister. Kristy thinks she might be working too many hours at her second job." Caity looked concerned and she had the cutest little furrow in her forehead that I just wanted to kiss away.

"I'm sure she's fine. She just needs to get used to the schedule, right Spike?"

"I dunno, Donny. She's been pulling some serious hours from what I've heard. They had some pretty bad calls recently and it sounds like she's been on every one of them."

I knew Pauli had taken a second job as a medic for a rural company. She said she liked the extended transport times as it gave her more of a chance to work on her patients. I figured she was saving up for something or wanted to brush up on her skills.

"Hell, Spike, we all go through our turns being a shit magnet. It's just part of the job."

We all knew the truth of that statement. I had a period that lasted close to six months where I couldn't go a week without having a fatality of some kind happen around me. It sucked, but that was life on the streets.

Spike shook her head at me, "I think it's more than that this time. Haven't you noticed? She's been short tempered the past couple of weeks. She's forgetting stuff and she even snapped at me last shift."

"I haven't ridden with her other than that one call the other day. I've been paired with Gina. I haven't had a shift without her for weeks."

"Well, she even yelled at Tony the other day. You know how much he likes her. He was asking her some questions about her favorite places to eat and she snapped out at him. She did it right in the main bay of the station too in front of everyone on shift. That just isn't like her, Donny. We have to step in and take some kind of action. The Cap already said he wants us to have a talk with her."

I looked between Spike and Caity. I was going to have to do the supervisor thing on my lover's little sister? Talk about a tough spot to be put into by fate.

"Caity, what about you? Have you noticed anything different about Pauli lately? You guys usually talk pretty often, right?" I knew they had but I hadn't actually heard any phone calls or anything recently.

"I actually haven't heard from her much. I got an email the other day, short and sweet, no details, just a hello. Sorry, baby, I don't have any idea what is going on with her right now. Frankly, that worries me more than her temper flare-ups. She used to talk to me about almost anything, now she forgets to return my calls."

"I guess that seals it for me, Spike. Let's figure out how we're going to handle it. Then, let's get it done fast before it escalates any further. I think Gina is ready to ride with someone else. I'll take Pauli out with me this week and see if I can get any idea about what's bugging her."

"Great, we'll figure it out. In the meantime, didn't you two promise me food?"

* * *

I found myself running a twelve-hour shift with Pauli less than a week after the dinner with Spike. I was glad of the chance to partner up with her again, and to investigate what was going on with her. We started the day nice and slowly with breakfast at the usual diner with Tony and Gina. Tony seemed quieter than normal, but I attributed that to the early morning as much as his experience with Pauli. I was waiting until a little later in the day to ask her any questions, so I kept my end of the conversation away from anything too personal.

We split after breakfast, and Pauli and I headed for the station so I could get some paperwork done. On the way back, we responded to a call for back up from the BLS crew for a potential heart problem. I decided to let Pauli handle the call to see how she did with interacting with the EMT crew.

"Pauli, you got this one? I'd like to sit back and watch the EMT crew work for a report I'm doing." Yeah, it sounded lame, but she wouldn't know that is was garbage.

"Yeah, sure, Donny, I'm cool with it."

We arrived on location, the patient's home, and met with the crew in the driveway. There was an EMT in the rig with the patient, a female in her early fifties. The woman was on high flow oxygen, and was in a semi-raised position to help her breathing. I hung back and watched Pauli jump in the rig, attach the leads from the monitor to the patient, and run a strip. She asked for repeated vitals, but her tone wasn't sharp, just professional. I tried to find any sign of the Pauli I had heard about, but she seemed fine to me.

Pauli made the decision to release the patient back to BLS care. She grabbed her gear and jumped out of the rig so they could get going. I took the monitor from her and we reloaded our stuff in the rig before pulling out and heading back to base. I hadn't learned a thing other than that Pauli seemed to be the same competent medic I had known for years.

Later in the shift, Pauli came to me in the office to talk. I was surprised as she hadn't sought me out since the day she drove to my house.

"Have you got a minute? I'd kind of like to ask you something."

"Sure, come on in, shut the door if you'd like."

I leaned back and stretched my upper body. I had never loved a desk less than I did at that moment. Pauli sat in one of the extra chairs scattered around the small table that served as both conference table and desk for the medic supervisors. I waited for her to start since she had asked to see me.

"Well, I was wondering something. I know that you probably have plans, but could we hang out after work, maybe grab a beer or something? I'd like to talk to you, but not here if that's okay."

Surprised but pleased that she was asking to talk to me, I quickly agreed. "Sure, I haven't had a chance to hang out with you in a while since I've been on training duties. You doing okay, Pauli? You aren't putting in too many hours are you?" I couldn't help myself. I had to ask something.

"Nah, I'm fine. I'm working a lot, but I get to sleep through a lot of the hours anyway. It isn't too bad. I'm sure you've heard, it seems to be my turn as the shit magnet, but what the hell? We all go through it now and then. I'll leave you to your papers. Catch ya later!"

She left the office and I leaned back, puzzled by what had just occurred. Spike had made it seem as if Pauli was on the verge of burnout. What I had witnessed that morning and talking to her in the office didn't jibe with what had been told to me. I gave up thinking about it and went back to the paperwork with a sigh.

* * *

I called Caity and left a message that I would be going out with her sister after work, but that I would call when I was free. The rest of the shift went smoothly, and we left the station on time, more or less. I followed her to a little bar, not that far from my place, and waited for her as she locked her car.

We made our way into the small neighborhood tavern and found a booth near the back. After ordering a round of lager and some munchies, we made small talk about the shift until the drinks and food arrived.

"So, what's on your mind, Pauli?" I was curious to find out, but it also seemed as if she was stalling.

Pauli fidgeted, playing with her beer bottle, spinning her coaster, looking everywhere but at me.

Finally, I grew tired of the waiting games and said, "Look, you asked me to get together so we could talk. I don't understand what the problem is, Pauli. Did I tick you off some how?"

"Oh, no, it isn't anything like that, Donny. I actually wanted to talk to you for two reasons, but I'm not sure how to start."

"Well, just say it. We're family, right? Just tell me what's on your mind and we'll figure it out." I was still under the impression that it was about her second job, so perhaps because it wasn't part of our station issues, she felt weird.

"Well, the first part is work related, sort of at least. I'm kind of worried about someone at the station and I wanted your take on it. I just feel weird since it is one of your friends."

I motioned at her to continue but she stalled out again. "Pauli, look, if there is something going on that I need to know about, spill it. If not, I don't want to get involved in something I don't belong in."

"No, it isn't anything like that, Donny. I'm really worried, but I don't know what to do without getting someone ticked at me. I don't want to fuck things up around the station, but I'm getting worried. You know I took that Mass Casualty Incident Command class last month, right?"

I nodded, really wondering where this was headed.

"In the class they talked about the need for critical incident debriefing. I already knew about it because the captain is such a believer in it. But they also taught us the warning signs of someone going through Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You know, what to look for, how to handle it, that kind of thing. They never told us what to do when it was someone who outranks you, or that you respect, how to help them recognize it."

Now I was concerned, but I couldn't figure out who she meant. Surely, she didn't mean me? I didn't think I'd been acting strangely. Well, not that kind of strange at least. If it was someone that outranked her, it couldn't be her that she was talking about.

"Just tell me, Pauli, who is it you think is stressed too much?"

"Donny, I think Spike's having some problems. She hasn't been sleeping, she isn't eating well, I can't tell you the last time I saw her out with the guys from work. She spends all her free time working out at the station, even in her off duty hours. She runs extra calls, but she takes charge all the time. She never steps back anymore to let a probie handle things. She never talks or kids around anymore. She's all business but that isn't normal for Spike. You're closer to her, have you noticed anything?"

Damn! First Spike gets Caity and me worried about Pauli, and now Pauli is getting me worried about Spike! What the hell is wrong with the world? "I haven't seen anything, but I've been running opposite of her a lot so we could get the new probies up to speed. She seemed fine at dinner the other night though."

"You had dinner with her? Did she actually eat it or push it around? I haven't seen her eat a full meal in weeks."

"I guess she didn't eat all that much, I just figured she was tired. What do you think it's about? We haven't had any serious injuries or anything within the house. I don't know of anything in her personal life, has she taken any bad calls recently?"

Pauli shook her head. "Not that I know of, at least nothing unusual. I've been hit with a lot, but she hasn't been my partner for any of it. My shrink said that I should talk to someone else who knows her." Pauli stopped, as she realized what she had just admitted. "Yeah, about that, I've been seeing someone. I had some stuff I had to work out, and I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. She's pretty cool, works with a lot of EMS and PD staff, and I've learned a lot.

Before I could ask the question, Pauli added, "I haven't told Caity yet. I didn't want her to worry."

Can I just say that my world shifted on its axis a little bit? Pauli in therapy on her own terms and Spike the one with problems? "So, what was that stuff about Tony and you fighting? I heard you almost took his head off a week or so ago?"

She grimaced and rolled her eyes. "He was a jerk! He's been hitting on me for months and won't accept that I have no interest in him. I made the mistake of telling him I'm bisexual and not gay. Ever since, he's been convinced he is the right man for me. He just doesn't listen, and I finally snapped at him about it. I shouldn't have done it in public, and I did apologize for that to him."

"Oh! It seems I'm getting incomplete data from several sources. I'm really not sure what to do next. I can't schedule myself to work with Spike, so I guess I'll have to go to the captain about her."

Pauli nodded her head slowly, then she lowered her eyes to the table. "I feel terrible about this. I hope I'm wrong and just over reacting. Can't you try to talk to her first? I'd hate to see you go to the Cap and have it be my imagination."

I thought about it for a minute and decided on a plan of action. I would have Pauli join me for a dinner with Spike the next time we all had an evening free. It shouldn't be too hard to set up, since we were all essentially on the same schedule rotation. After I told her my plan and she agreed, I ordered another round of beer.

After the waiter set it down, I looked over to see Pauli still looking uncomfortable. "Fer cryin' out loud, Pauli, what else is buggin' you?

She gave me a sheepish smile as a blush spread up her face. "Well, I also owe you an apology. I was upset when you started dating my sister, Donny, but I didn't tell you the entire truth about it. My shrink helped me realize that I had a huge crush on you, but that it was just that, a crush. When I came over that day, I planned on telling you about it and making you choose. Then I thought of how happy Caity seemed when she told me about you two, and I couldn't do it."

I didn't know what to say, so following some wise kindergarten advice, I said nothing at all.

"I just wanted to apologize for being an ass about it that day. I know that you both have been so much happier since you got together. I love my sister, Donny, and I want her to be happy. I was wrapped up in my own fantasy that involved you on a pedestal, not as a real person. I've gotten to know you as a person now and I want you to be happy. I'm really glad the two of you are doing so well." She changed her voice to a bit of a thug like quality, "But if you hurt her, you deal with me!"

I let out a relieved laugh and agreed to do right by Caity. We talked more easily after that, going over stuff from work and discussing Caity. The waiter brought the check over, and I grabbed it, telling her that since she had been so honest, the least I could do was grab the bill. She blushed but agreed, and we parted amicably.

As I drove home, my thoughts were a whirlwind. I didn't know what to do or believe. I tried to think of any changes in Spike but the truth was I had been totally involved with what to do about my attraction for Caity. Since we got together, I was busy living in the joy of our relationship. I hadn't really been focused on Spike or anyone else, other than Caity and myself.

* * *

I woke up to the feel of a warm body pressing against mine, as I smelled the familiar scent of Caity's shampoo. "Hey, baby, I didn't hear you come in. What time is it?"

She kissed me and laid her head on my shoulder. "A little after two in the morning. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Honey, you can wake me anytime. Did something happen on your shift? I'm not complaining, I just didn't know you were coming over tonight."

"Just a long night with a lot of chaos. I missed you. I just wanted you to hold me for a little while. Sometimes hearing the stuff I hear just makes me so sad, but then I get so grateful that you're in my life."

She let out what sounded like a tiny sob, and I grew more concerned. "What happened? Don't tell me nothing. You don't cry over nothing, Caity. Let me help, tell me what's wrong."

"I lost a baby today. The older sister was babysitting and the baby stopped breathing. She didn't know what to do, so she called 911. I was on the phones for the second half of my shift and got the call. I talked her through rescue breathing and CPR but nothing worked. The crew called in later and told me that the ER thought it looked like SIDS.  I know there is nothing I can do, but I hate when we lose one."

She started crying in earnest then, and I held her tightly. "It's okay to cry, baby, I'm here, I've got you. I love you, and I love that you care so much. I've got you." I kept whispering to her until she finally quieted down and fell asleep.

I lay awake for a while, thinking about how lucky we were. We had each other to talk to when a bad call got to us. I'd had Caity around as a friend for years and we had always talked through the rough calls. I started wondering about who Spike talked to at the end of the day. She hadn't had a relationship that I was aware of in a decade or more.

When I asked her about dating and what she did in her free time, she told me she was married to the job. She believed that no one outside the job could understand what she saw everyday, but she didn't want to date anyone on the job and worry about him doing his job. I understood that, but I figured she at least kept company with someone and was just close mouthed about it. What if I was wrong? What if Spike just didn't talk to anyone? How torn up must she feel inside? I resolved to talk to Caity about it in the morning and let myself relax into sleep with her warmth next to me.

CHAPTER 9

"I DON'T KNOW what to say to her. How do I go up to someone that has mentored me for years and ask her if she's having a breakdown?" I collapsed onto the couch when I could pace no more. "I don't have any idea how to approach that conversation, let along guide her into getting help."

Caity took my hand and held it as she tried to help me figure out what to say to Spike. We were having her and Pauli over for dinner the next night and I was totally losing my mind.

"Baby, you have to trust yourself. If she needs help then we'll help her get it. This could just be a case of a recent class making my sister jumpy. There might not be anything going on to worry about. Even if she is going through something, it might have nothing to do with the job."

"Yeah, but I thought about this last night after you fell asleep. She doesn't have anyone to talk to about her bad days or bad calls. I've had you around and you've had me around even before we fell in love. She doesn't have anyone that I know of that she talks to like that outside of work. At work, she's all business and doesn't speak to the rest of the crew about stuff like this unless its to help someone else deal with something. I never thought about it before because its just who she is, but I've never seen her cry during a debrief, or express much emotion at all. Even the guys break down sometimes. It's as if she needs to be the toughest kid on the block or something."

"Honey, maybe she has someone we don't know about. Let's not worry about it until we talk to her, okay? Are we doing this at my place or yours? And, what time should I expect her and Pauli?"

"I thought we could do it here at my place. I have more space than you do, and I like my grills better." I gave her a cheeky grin, the grill debate raged long and hard between us. I used two different grills depending upon the food, one charcoal that also functioned as a smoker, and one gas grill, for the times I just needed something done quickly or in bad weather. She was a gas girl when it came to use, though she did admit the superiority of the hardwood charcoal taste.

Tossing an exasperated look at me she said, "yeah, whatever! You just like having control."

I laughed. "Honey, I haven't had control in a long time and we both know it." Smirking, I continued, "I think they'll both be over around six-thirty, so we have plenty of time during the day to handle getting set up. Do you work tomorrow?"

"Nope, I'm off today and tomorrow since I'm taking the weekend shifts. The scheduler had no problem arranging for me to work so I could have some time off with you. Weekends are tougher to fill, so whenever you work one, I usually can too."

I gave her a hug and stroked her soft hair through my fingers, reveling in the texture.. "You're so sweet, Caity. Does this mean I have you all to myself for the rest of today?" I started getting ideas on how we could spend at least part of that time.

"Mmm hmm, all yours today. Did you have plans? I don't want to impose or take you away from anything."

"No imposition at all, in fact, there is no one I would rather spend the time with today. I even know what we can do!" I was slowly stroking my hand along her rib cage as I spoke. I bent my head and placed light kisses along the line of her neck as I let my hand drift towards the upper part of her ribcage. As I slowly moved my hand towards her breasts, she moaned and pushed against my hand.

"I think I like your plan. Does it involve staying on the couch or can we go back to bed?"

She looked at me with slightly hooded eyes, her hazel eyes growing dark with desire. I felt myself get wet, and I could barely stand on my quivering legs. I reached down and pulled her from the couch, leading her into the bedroom.

"Strip for me, Chloe, I need to see you naked." Caity leaned back on the bed and watched me as I shed my clothes. I moved to take hers off as well but she pushed me away.

"I have plans of my own for you! I want you to lie down on your back."

I complied. I was turned on even more by her take charge attitude. She grabbed something from the floor and started tying my wrists to the bed frame.

"You don't mind, do you? I don't want your hands distracting me from my plan. It isn't too tight, is it?"

I shook my head since my mouth was too dry to speak. I couldn't wait to find out what she would do next. She reached down under the bed and pulled out a bag that I hadn't seen before. She pulled out a couple of toys and put them out of my sight at the end of the bed, then she pulled out some lube and gave me a wicked grin.

"I brought these over the last time I stayed but got distracted." She started gently playing with my stiff nipples as she continued. "You've been working too hard, honey. All work and no play makes Donny a dull medic. Time to sharpen you up!"

She paused and looked into my eyes before asking me, "Do you trust me? I mean, really trust me? If this gets uncomfortable or anything, just tell me to stop and I will, okay?"

"Oh God, Caity, if I get any more turned on, I'll come without you touching me! This is all fine and I do trust you. I trust you with my heart, mind, and body. Please, please make love to me!"

She turned around after giving me a gentle kiss. She pulled out the first toy, a vibrating bullet, and started rubbing it over my overheated body. She began at my breasts, running it over my painfully hard nipples before using her tongue and lips to soothe the ache. As she used her mouth on my breasts, she ran the vibrator down my stomach and I could feel the muscles twitch and clench as it circled my navel.

"That feels so amazing, honey," I groaned as she continued to play with my body. I could feel how wet I was already and she hadn't even touched below my waist.

Caity groaned, "You taste so damn good! I could feast on you for days. I hope you aren't tired, baby, no rest for you  today!"

She moved the bullet down towards my vulva but only ran it lightly across before she ran it down one thigh in a tantalizingly slow tease. I bucked my hips, trying to make contact with something but all I found was air. She chuckled and moved the vibrating bullet up the other leg and stopped just short of my center. I groaned and started trying to get relief by grinding into her hand. She was having none of that. I was forced to wait as I felt my clit grow as hard and erect as it ever had before.

"Ready for some more fun, baby? I'm not even close to done yet," said Caity. "I've got a few other things to do to you before you can come. Can you hold out if I promise it will be worth it?"

I was starting to sweat and I couldn't stop my hips from moving as she glided over me, but I nodded and grimaced. "Please, Caity, soon, I need you. I need to come!" I could hardly speak, all I could focus on was that hand, the buzzing near my clit and the pounding pulse between my legs. Caity leaned away from me, grabbing something from behind her and slathered lube on it quickly.

She looked me in the eye again asked, "Are you sure you're ready? I wouldn't want you to come too soon."

She leaned over me and gave me a kiss that stole my breath. Tongues were battling. I could hardly tell whose tongue was whose, whose lips were whose. It didn't matter, all that mattered was the contact of that sweet mouth and those talented hands. Oh those hands, I felt them moving up my legs again, brushing the bullet against my opening, teasing around the edges as I thrust towards it. Her other hand moved something else between my ass cheeks, a small dildo. I stiffened briefly, but she kissed me again and I relaxed into it. She eased it into me and I felt my clit stiffen even more. Caity kissed her way down my body, teasing, licking, nibbling, and soothing my hot body even as she excited it further.

"Babe, you smell so good! You're so hot and wet. Is this for me? Do I do this to you?"

 There was something like wonder in her voice, but also a little pride. She groaned and leaned her head down, brushing her lips against my labia. I felt myself tighten as she slowly pushed a finger into me and ran her tongue up my clit, just once.

I couldn't stop myself. My hips started bucking, my legs spread as far as they could, and I started crying out for relief. "Please, please! Suck me, let me come, Caity! Oh, Caity, I love you so much, please let me come." Over and over, I heard myself beg for release.

"Soon, baby, so soon. I promise, it will be worth the wait.”

Her words worked to inflame me so much that I thought I would lose it right then. She suddenly slipped the small dildo the rest of the way into my ass as she started licking and sucking my clit hard and fast. I thought I might die from the sensation of her fingers in me as she worked the dildo in my ass, and sucked me off.

"Oh, oh God, oh, Caity! I'm gonna come, I'm coooomming!" I lost it, I shuddered and bucked without control as bright lights went off behind my eyes. I felt her ease out of me and soothe my clit gently with her tongue before she moved up the bed to hold me. I couldn't move. I still felt tremors moving through my body. The last thing I remember is her holding me tightly and telling me to take a nap.

* * *

I awoke to find Caity stroking my hair gently. I looked up at her and saw a twinkle in her eyes and I was fairly certain what had put it there. "Can't get enough of me, huh?" I teased.

She leaned down to kiss me, nibbling at my lower lip. "Not really. Are you complaining?" She raised her left eyebrow and looked at me, trying not to smile.

"Who me? What am I crazy? A beautiful woman wants to make love to me and I'm dumb enough to complain? I think not! The question is, does that woman want more time in bed, or is it time to feed her stomach? I heard that little growl just now." I grinned up at her before nibbling at her neck.

"Hmm, well, I like the bed idea, but honestly, it will be here and I'm starving! Cook something for me, anything at all. I love when you cook for me." She batted her eyes in a satirically coquettish manner.

Laughing, I tossed the blanket aside, grabbed some sweats from the dresser, and pulled on a T-shirt. "Your wish, is my pleasure to fulfill. Any special requests? If I have the ingredients, I will make it."

Caity's brow wrinkled in thought before she exclaimed, "I have a craving for your Matzo Brie! Do you have what you need?"

Now, I should explain, I'm not from a Jewish family, but my grandmother's best friend was Jewish and she learned to make Matzo Brie from her. The dish was handed down in our family and it was something I adored. A true comfort food for me.

"I have good news, I happen to have all the stuff I need. I'll go get it started."

Caity said she'd be down in a few minutes, so I headed into the kitchen to rummage around for my special pan. Normally, I believe in multi-purpose kitchen tools, but for this dish, I had a special, very heavy, steel with copper sandwiched inside, oval omelet pan. It was at least forty years old and was something from my grandmother. This pan has only been used for this dish ever, and it will stay that way. I won't be the one to tempt fate! It has a hinge holding two identical pans together so it can be folded up. That way the mixture can be flipped for perfectly even cooking on both sides.

I found the pan, resting in the special bag I keep it in so that it doesn't get damaged between uses. I pulled it out, rinsed it, and put it on the counter to dry. I gathered the ingredients and implements I would need before getting started on the actual food preparation. I heard Caity coming down the stairs so I figured it was time to start the bacon.

"Can I help with anything?" asked Caity.

"If you want to grab some juice for us, and the plates, that’s plenty, I've got the rest. Besides you earned a breakfast." I tried to leer at her as I said that, but I never really learned how to leer properly, so she laughed at me.

"If you're sure, then I'll keep you company while you cook. Now that we're together, can I learn how you make this stuff?"

"Sure, I'll talk you through it, it's pretty easy. First, I'm going to put the bacon in. Then I'll get the rest started."

I laid out the bacon on a broiler pan, so the fat would drip away, and put it in the oven. I'd started it preheating while I was gathering things, so that it was fully heated. Next, I grabbed the eggs and matzo. "Ready? First lesson, crack the boards of matzo up into bits about an inch square, give or take. Put them in a colander and run some hot water over them. Just enough to get them wet, but not too mushy. Let that drain while the onions get diced."

"I could have done the onions, honey."

"Oh, I know, but it is how I time the drying process." I took the medium sized sweet onion, and cut it into a rough chop, with bits just smaller than the size of the matzo pieces. I turned on the burner and started heating the special pan.

"Okay, here is where there are differences. Some people swear by butter, other people use oil. I tend towards either really good butter, or I just use a bit of spray stuff from a can. Today, I think we can spare the calories, so I'm using the Danish butter I picked up last week."

"Wow, I must have done something well, you love that stuff." Caity actually looked impressed that I would use that butter. She was so cute that I had to kiss her.

I went over to her and leaned down. "I love you even more." I kissed her on her forehead and went back to my cooking duties. I turned around and saw her blushing, which made me need to look away before I scrapped breakfast and took her on the floor.

Clearing my throat, I continued, "Now that the pan is hot, the butter goes in and coats both sides of the pan. Once it is coated, I toss in the onion and give them a shake to get them all coated before closing up the lid and turning down the heat a bit. I want them to start to caramelize, not fry. Are you with me so far?"

"Oh yeah, I'm with you, sweetie."

Somehow, she had snuck up behind me and held me from behind as she spoke. I wasn't complaining, I just couldn't figure out how she had managed it.

"Careful, no distracting the cook while she's working with flames." I did lean back into the embrace for a moment before reluctantly leaving her arms to get the eggs ready for the pan.

I cracked the eggs, two per person and this pan was large enough to accommodate that amount of food and then some. I whipped them together with about two tablespoons of water, a dash of salt, some freshly ground white pepper, and a dash of white table sugar. Once it was combined, I gently folded in the damp matzo bits. That meant it was time to shake up the onion some more and give it a quick peek.

Everything looked great, the onions were translucent and getting soft but still had some texture. I pulled the pan off the heat, scooped the onions into the egg mixture, and stirred gently. I recoated the pan with a bit more butter and gently poured the mixture into the pan before closing the lid and setting the pan on a medium-low flame. Caity watched in silence as I worked, but she stayed close enough to rest a hand on the small of my back most of the time.

I cleared the debris into the garbage can and sink before pulling the bacon out of the oven to drain. The magic pan was starting to release a fragrant and wonderful odor of cooking onions and eggs. I checked the pan by raising the lid carefully. The top of the mixture was still slightly soupy but the edges were firm. I ran a silicone spatula around the edges to ensure the super sized omelet was loose enough for the next maneuver. I closed the lid and looked at Caity. "This is it, mess this up and I ruin the presentation, and according to some, the taste. Ready?"

She nodded at me and smiled. "I really love your dramatic flair, it's so cute!"

I mock glared at her before I readied myself. "One, two, three. Voila!" As I counted, I lifted the pan and readied my grip. On three, I quickly and gently flipped the pan and gave it one, and only one, tap on the burner. When I said "Voila," I opened the lid to show the entire omelet had flipped without sticking, and we could see a perfect, lightly browned side facing us.

Caity clapped for me and I took a half bow. "I know, I know, it is hard to live up to the high standards I've set here today. But if you follow my example and train for years, you too could make a perfect Matzo Brie!" I was laying it on thick but I figured she started it, so it was only fair that I play it up.

"Goofball! It is impressive and I'm starving. I'll get the plates."

When she brought the plates over, I slid the entire dish onto one plate, even though it hardly fit, and dusted the top with a little more table sugar. I cut it in half, moved one half to the second plate and divided up the bacon. We took the dishes to the table and prepared to enjoy the feast.

"I remember the first time you made this for me. I thought you were nuts, bringing your "special pan" and adding sugar to a savory dish."

I remembered it well. We had been friends for about a year, and she was starting to look for houses. We had planned on going to a bunch of open houses to look, so I offered to take care of breakfast. I brought everything to her place to cook for us and converted  another to the mixture of sweet and savory.

"See how well that worked out? Why did you ever doubt me?"

She chuckled and then moaned as she took her first bite of breakfast. "That is still so good! Every time you make it, I know I'll love it, but it takes me by surprise a bit too. Thanks, honey, I appreciate not only the meal, but the lesson too. Maybe I'll make it for you sometime!"

"You are the best reason I've had in a long time to cook. I'm just glad you like it. Speaking of which, do we need to pick anything up for tomorrow's dinner?"

She sighed, "I know, I haven't forgotten. Let's run through the menu and ingredients after we eat. If we need anything, one of us can go out and the other can start food preparations."

"Sounds like a plan."

We ate in relative silence after that, both of us worried about the two women coming over the next night.

* * *

It was getting close to the time we expected Pauli and Spike and we were ready. The appetizer tray was prepared, plastic wrapped in the fridge for later. The chicken was marinating on the counter, allowing it to warm to room temperature before cooking. The veggies were all arranged in foil packages, one per person, with seasoning, and ready for the grill. I had the charcoal ready to light, figuring I would wait until the women were there. We could graze until the meal was ready and try to relax before tackling the heavier topics of the night.

Caity came down the stairs from my bedroom looking relaxed and adorable. She was dressed in cream-colored cotton shorts, with a yellow polo shirt, and her feet were bare. I felt my heart jump at how perfect it felt to watch her come down the stairs as if she belonged there. I went over to her and put my arms around her. "You look great, baby!"

She grinned at me, "Thanks but you're nuts. I'm just wearing shorts and a polo for goodness sakes. However, for being so sweet, you get a reward."

She gave me a sweet but quick kiss, then ran her hand over my breasts as she walked past.

"Hey, no teasing the animals! That was so not fair of you!" I complained, but I loved the attention and she knew it.

"Uh huh, sure, honey, I'll stop teasing later, when we're alone for the night."

I sighed in contentment, those moments of feeling uncomfortable about our physical interactions long gone. "Hey, can I ask a question, Caity?"

"Of course, what's up? Problem with the food?"

"No, nothing like that, just something that I remembered from when we first admitted that we wanted to date each other. I was kind of feeling awkward about touching you, cuddling, all the physical stuff was strange for me at first. Now, I can't imagine going without your touch on my skin. Did you experience anything like that? Just feeling odd about the sudden change?"

Caity looked thoughtful and took a moment to reply. She took my hand and pulled me to her, hugging me tightly. "The night I took things into my own hands, so to speak, I knew it would be different, but I didn't understand yet how different. There were times when I would look at you holding me, or holding my hand, and want to pinch myself. I remember thinking, "Chloe and I are actually a couple!" I couldn't believe how lucky I felt. I still feel lucky, but I feel the same way about touching you. I need to feel your hands and skin, even if it just for a moment. I crave that intimacy with you."

I blushed, but kissed her palm, relishing the feel of her skin against my lips. "I think we may have to talk about our living arrangements soon, don't you? I hate it when we don't spend our time off together. Is it too soon?"

Caity started to chuckle, then laughed outright. I wasn't sure why she was laughing and I started to worry. I knew she loved me, but I couldn't understand her reaction. She pulled away from me, went to her backpack, and pulled out what looked like a greeting card. She handed it to me, still chuckling.

"What is it? Did I miss something?"

"Trust me, baby, just open it. I was going to give it to you tonight or tomorrow morning, depending on our mood after they left."

I tore open the envelope and pulled out the card. On the front was a picture of a U-Haul being loaded by very butch looking women. I opened it and saw the printed words, "Let's live together! Your place or mine?" Caity had written in the card as well. "Why should we wait? We've been best friends for so long. Let's do it, let's make the move! Live with me? Love always, your Caity."

What could I say? I knew the answer since I was prepared to ask the same question. "Of course, baby!" I pulled her back into my arms to kiss her just as the doorbell rang. Giving out a frustrated groan, I settled for a quick brush of my lips across hers before heading for the door.

When I opened the door, I was surprised to see both of our guests waiting for me. I grinned and stepped back to let them in. "Hey guys! Nice of you to save me from answering the door twice. How are you?"

Both women greeted me and showed me their contributions for dinner. Spike brought a peach pie that she had baked herself. Pauli had brought the salad, a great mix of different lettuces with all sorts of vegetables in it from the looks of things. She held up a cruet of homemade dressing to go with it.

"Looks like we're eating well tonight! Excellent! Let's go drop this stuff off in the kitchen. Caity should have the patio set up, and I brought a cooler out there earlier for drinks so we wouldn't have to run back and forth."

We all headed out there after dropping the food off in the kitchen. Caity did have the chairs and table ready to go. She gave Pauli a big hug, teasing her about not keeping in touch with her big sister often enough. She gave Spike a hug next before offering them both drinks.

We hung out, picking at the cheese, crackers, and fruit tray that Caity had set up earlier. We kept the topics clear of anything too emotional, just local happenings, moves within the department, basic small talk. Caity and Pauli started talking about some family stuff while Spike and I went to start the charcoal for the grill.

While we were away from the other two women, Spike asked me about my thoughts regarding Pauli. I made a show of lighting the grill and arranging the charcoal precisely how I wanted it, stalling on my answer. Finally, I had to turn to her and tell her something to avoid the conversation.

"Well, I didn't really see anything out of the ordinary since we've been running together. I'm not sure, let's talk about it later, I need to get some stuff together for the grill and start setting up the food." She looked at me with suspicion, but she let it slide for the moment. As I headed back towards the patio table and the house, I noticed that Caity and Pauli seemed to be having an intense conversation. It looked like we would be in for one heck of a night!

I went into the house to grab everything I needed and Pauli slipped in behind me.

"Need a hand, Donny?"

"Thanks, you wanna grab that tray over there? It has everything I need for the grill, I'll grab the food."

"You got it. So, what do you think? Are we going to be able to help Spike? I don't want to look like an ass to the company for starting trouble with her. I mean, she is a walking legend! But I'm worried, ya know?"

Pauli looked more scared than I've ever seen her look. I realized that she was really tearing herself up over this, so I tried to find some words of comfort. "Look, Pauli, technically, I'm your supervisor, right?" She nodded. "So, the way I see it, you were doing your job by looking out for one of our family. It is our obligation to each other to help if one of us is in trouble. That could mean trapped in a fire, the victim of a violent call, or any number of other dangerous things we deal with everyday. How is this any different? You followed channels, you came to me, you didn't spread rumors, and you had enough to back your statements up. If anything, you did exactly the right thing. Ignoring warning signs of a problem is putting us all at risk."

"I guess, I just feel like such a snitch. What if I'm just overreacting because of the classes I've been taking? Maybe I'm just looking for stuff that isn't there. I want to be wrong, but I don't want her to hate me."

I sighed. "Pauli, if Spike went down on a call, would you be doing the right thing if you didn't radio it in and get her help? Of course not! You did the right thing, no matter the outcome. I thought enough of your suspicions to bring us all together tonight. Let's just go get dinner ready, eat, and then we'll tackle the talk. Okay?"

She looked at me hard before giving me a small smile as she nodded her agreement. We grabbed our trays and headed back outside. I stopped by the table to drop some of the stuff off and collect a kiss. Caity and I traded looks when we kissed and agreed silently that tonight wasn't the night to make the announcement about us moving in together. For now, it was enough that we knew, and that we were going to try to help our friend and family.

* * *

We sat in the living room with tea and coffee mugs firmly in hand. I looked over at both of my friends and felt Caity squeeze my hand in encouragement. With a deep breath, I started speaking. "All right, you both came to me with worries about each other. Instead of playing games, going back and forth, and before it has to go to the captain, I wanted to try to handle this between us. You both have to be willing to answer honestly, the questions we ask. Are you guys willing to give this a try?"

They looked at each other, then at me. I didn't know what to expect next as neither one looked happy about my statement. I nervously sipped my tea, but I kept my eyes on them, waiting for an answer.

Pauli finally made her choice, "Okay, Donny, I'm willing to give it a try tonight. I'll answer whatever questions you want me to answer."

Spike gave me a look that conveyed disappointment and pain. "I don't know what you think is going on. I'm not sure what you hope to gain from this, but I'll play along for now."

I pulled out the information I had received from the counselor who helped during our last Critical Incident Debriefing. "I have a list here of questions to ask you guys. I need you both to think about the questions and answer me honestly. Do you have trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep?"

"I've had problems in the past, but since I've been in therapy, it is getting much better," said Pauli.

"Yeah, sometimes I can't sleep if I'm wound up after a shift or something. It goes away if I drink a beer or something. I've been a restless sleeper since I was a kid, what does that prove?" Spike was already proving to be resentful of the questions, but I went on.

"Do you find it hard to concentrate on tasks for long periods of time?"

Pauli laughed, "I've had that problem since I was a kid! The doctor finally realized I have ADD, and I've been better since they gave me medication for it."

Spike glared at Pauli, then at me. "I do just fine on calls and you both know it. I'm the best damn medic we have out there! So what if I can't spend a lot of time doing paperwork or stuff? I have it when I need it, on the streets!"

"Do you find it hard to connect to other people in caring and loving relationships?" I was getting less comfortable with these questions as they continued.

"Is that some kind of dig, Donny? You're hooked up and happy, so the rest of us need to be in couples? Is that what this is about? You know I haven't dated in years! I just don't have any interest in it. I like my space!"

Spike was getting defensive and argumentative, one of the signs I was supposed to look for during this session.

"Do you think that your willingness to participate in social activities has decreased?" I kept asking questions instead of responding to Spike.

"So what? Like I said, I like my space! The older I get the more I like some alone time!"

"Okay, what about talking to people? So you talk about the events of your day with anyone? Do you plan on a future with anyone?"

There wasn't even a pretense of Pauli trying to answer now. We were all focused on Spike.

"You know that answer, Donny! You know that with my family history, and the work we do that I don't figure I'll live long enough to bother anyone else. Besides I talk to you guys at the station, doesn't that count?" She started to raise her voice now, "I'm sick of this shit! All I do is bust my ass every day to save the lives of repeat drug overdoses, heart patients who still eat at fast food burger joints, drivers who ignore speed limits and seatbelt laws, and the victims of bullies! For that, I'm getting hung out to dry by you guys! You're supposed to have my back, not stick knives in it!"

We all looked at Spike, but Caity left her seat beside me and walked over to her. She put a hand on Spike's shoulder and knelt down in front of her. "Kristy, you know damn well how much I love you and respect you. You should know that Chloe and Pauli think you practically walk on water. No one is here to throw stones, sweetie. The truth is, Pauli has been in therapy and is worried about you. She came to us out of concern for your well being. Please, don't feel as if we are attacking you or questioning your life. We just want to help you if you need it."

I watched as Caity leaned forward, preventing Spike from  standing. Instead, Caity wrapped her arms around Spike and hugged her until she started to relax into it. Eventually, Caity eased away from her and spent a few moments looking the other woman in the eyes. "Are we okay? Are you ready to talk about this stuff?"

Spike sighed, shrugged her shoulders, and finally, answered with a meek, "Yeah, I guess." She looked over at Pauli, "I'm sorry, kid, maybe I have been on edge. We cool?"

Pauli grinned and nodded. "Hey, I'm just worried, you know? Nothing has to leave this room, but I'd like to help you, like you've helped me. I went to the head doc because I was having nightmares about some of our calls. I couldn't sleep, I wasn't interested in stuff I normally liked, and I couldn't even talk to my big sister about it. I decided to get some help before I ended up like some of the cases we bring in to the ER."

I looked over at Pauli with a new respect. I knew that she was seeing someone, but I had no idea that she was there for the same thing we thought was wrong with Spike.

I spoke up then. "Call it burnout, call it over working, but the truth is, in this line of work, we are prime candidates for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I spoke to the counselor about it and it hits a lot of EMS responders eventually. If you work in the field for long enough, you see all sorts of nasty stuff. We have all seen a lot of crap and it is normal for it to bother us. Some people deal with it by working out, or talking, or many different ways. I get anal about my lawn and outdoor chores when it is warm enough. In cold weather, I cook a lot and that's when I do my woodworking. Plus, I've had someone to talk to for years. Caity and I have talked about this stuff since we first became friends. She's helped me get through some of my tougher calls."

"Chloe's helped me deal with tough days also. When I get the kind of call that makes me feel horrible about just being a voice on the phone, she helps me to deal with it. She reminds me of how much I do contribute on so many calls to the dispatch center." Caity moved back to the couch to sit by me as she spoke. "Us being together is great, I'm very happy, but being a couple isn't why we think you need someone to talk to, Kristy. I think it would help you deal with so much of the pain you've seen out on the streets."

We waited in silence then for Spike to speak. Everyone shifted nervously while she thought about what had been said. After a few minutes of silence, she looked up at me. "So, what is it you think I need to do? See a shrink? Go on medication? Why can't I just deal with it myself?"

I felt so horrible at that moment that I had no idea how to tell her what I thought she needed most. I knew I had to though. I owed it to her to tell her the truth. "I think you should take some time off, take vacation time or take a leave of absence, whatever. I think that while you are off from work, you should look into  therapy of some kind. I could help you find someone or a program. I just think that you need to deal with this before it turns into a bigger deal than it already is."

I'd never seen Spike look so defeated. She slumped forward in her seat, her head hung down, and I could tell she was trying to keep the tears from falling. When she lifted her head, she looked at the ceiling, instead of at any of us in the room.

"So, if I take some time off, get a head checkup, and chill, you guys won't tell anyone at the station, including the captain? Is that the deal?"

Caity spoke up then, "If that is how you want it for now, then yes. No one wants to cause you any problems in your career. We just want to see you healthy and happy. So, will you do it?"

Grunting assent, Spike agreed to take the time off and meet with Pauli's therapist. For some reason, I wasn't reassured. I felt as if the whole thing might have gone a little too easily. My medic senses were tingling, but I couldn't figure out why.

CHAPTER 10

I HAD AGREED to work a few extra shifts until the captain and I could rework the schedule. We had to fill the shifts left open by Spike's time off request. The captain and everyone else were told that Spike was taking time off for family reasons. Pauli's therapist, Dr. Cooper, was able to take her on as a patient for three sessions a week. Spike asked me to go to her first session with her, and after the meeting, we decided that she would stay with me for a few weeks. She just needed some support to get started on her treatment. She also gave the doctor permission to talk to me, since I was the closest thing to family that she had left. I would be able to see how Spike was acting while she stayed with me, and it might give the doctor clues about how to guide the treatments.

Surprisingly, Spike admitted to knowing for quite some time that things were wrong, but she had been too afraid to let anyone in enough to help her. She described nightmares, bursts of anger or tears, not being able to turn off the playback in her head of various calls, and feeling as if she were in a downward spiral. She seemed ready to face things, but she was nervous about being vulnerable. She told me that she felt safer staying with me. She knew that I had her back and would watch out for her. I was determined not to let her down.

* * *

Two weeks into Spike's treatment, I called to let her know that I was on my way home after my double shift, and to find out if we needed anything. She didn't answer so I figured she was out back or out somewhere. I called Caity to say hello, but it went right to voice mail.

When I got home, Spike's car was in the driveway. I went in the front door, dropping my gear bag by the laundry room on my way up stairs. I just needed a shower and my bed. As I started to shed my uniform, I looked out the back window and saw her. She was sitting curled up in fetal position under a tree at the edge of my property, next to the fence. I ran downstairs in my socks, uniform pants, and sports bra, and hit the back door at a full run.

I slid to the ground as I got close to her, and my first instinct was to ensure that she was breathing. As I reached out to touch her shoulder, I heard the sobbing that seemed to come from an almost impossibly deep place within her. I didn't know what was going on, but I could hear her crying escalate. I reacted to her primal wailing. I took her in my arms and tried to soothe her as I would a crying infant. We sat like that, rocking, for at least an hour, until she cried herself out. I helped her into the house and tucked her in on the couch. Spike was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

I called Caity, and this time, I reached her. She greeted me with, "Hey, baby! How was the long shift? Did you get any sleep?"

"It was fine, mostly quiet. I didn't sleep a lot but that was more because Gina snores. I have a problem here though that I need your input on."

"What's wrong? Something with Kristy?"

"Yeah, I came home and she was curled up outside, crying like she had lost her partner of fifty years. It took me an hour to get her to cry it out and calm down. She's asleep on the couch now. Should I call the doctor about it?"

"I don't know, maybe it would be a good idea. She might want to see her, or at least talk to her about it."

"Okay, I'll give her a call. Are you coming over? I really need your help. Seeing her like that has me a bit freaked."

"Of course, I was packing some of my stuff up to bring over. Just some more clothes, some music, and some books."

"Great, I'll see you soon, be safe. I love you!"

"I love you too, Chloe. Go take care of Kristy until I get there."

As soon as I hung up, I dialed the number written on the notepad next to the phone. I was surprised to hear someone answer at seven in the evening, and I was more surprised when the voice identified herself as the doctor. Quickly, I recapped what had happened and waited for her instructions.

"Was there any sign that she tried to injure herself? Did she say anything to you or did she just cry?"

"Umm, I didn't see any marks on her skin and I don't think she tried… wait a second while I check something!" I ran to the bathroom upstairs and checked the medicine cabinet. It was just as I left it, no missing medications. I went into the room Spike was staying in and checked the dresser. Her new bottle of medication was intact, no more than a couple missing from it. I grabbed the phone when I got back down the stairs and let the doctor know what I found.

"Did she say anything to indicate what set this off?"

"No, she didn't say anything at all. She just cried as if she had lost a part of her soul. I didn't know what to do so I held her, rocked her, and brought her inside to sleep when she wore out. What should I do now?"

There was a moment of total silence. I wondered if the phone had disconnected until she finally said, "I think the best thing to do is let her sleep. When she wakes up, don't bring it up, she will feel embarrassed if she remembers you taking care of her. Act as normally as possible and give her some space. Thank you for letting me know what happened. Believe it or not, this means she is starting to feel things that she needs to feel."

"So, in a way, this is a good thing?" I was incredulous. I had no idea how curling up under a tree to cry one's heart out was a good thing. So much for my medical knowledge.

"Yes it is. I am sure it was scary for you to find her like that, but it is something she needed to do. It might happen again, but it might not. This isn't an exact science, so I can't tell you exactly what to expect. I'm sorry. Listen to your instincts; they've served you well so far."

I thanked her and we hung up. I checked on Spike one more time then went upstairs to finish stripping and take a quick shower. I was just getting dressed when I heard noises from downstairs. Before I could finish dressing, the bedroom door eased open and Caity entered. She came right over to me and gave me the long hug I desperately needed.

"Are you okay, honey? What did the doctor have to say?" Caity stepped back a bit to look at me but kept her hands on my arms.

"I'm still freaked out. I mean, Spike has always been so strong, but today it was like she didn't even know who I was, or where she was. The doc thinks it is the result of some stuff from their sessions. If this is what the sessions do to her, how can that be helpful?"

I knew, I really knew that Caity would understand what I was saying. I didn't know how much I could take of seeing my mentor in this crumpled state.

"Caity, I really don't understand. She was functioning just fine a few weeks ago. I mean, she might not have slept much and she was a little grumpy, but she still had it together. Today she couldn't stop crying until she went to sleep? How is this helping her?"

Caity stepped back into me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Baby, you know that sometimes the cure seems worse than the illness at first. Wasn't it you that pointed out that Coumadin, the drug that saved the lives of so many people with blood clot problems, is a derivative of rat poison? You loved the irony at the time."

"Yeah, I know you're right. It was just so weird. I don't usually get scared on calls anymore, but I was terrified that I would mess up when we were out there earlier. I wanted to grab the phone and call for back up. I couldn't call a rig, because everyone would have known about her problems through the grapevine."

I felt Caity squeeze me tighter and I let myself relax into her embrace. She felt safe and warm. She felt like home should feel. I wasn't sure what I would do when Spike woke up, but at least I knew Caity would be there with me to deal with it.

"You did a great job with her, honey. She obviously has some things she needs to deal with and crying is cathartic. I hope that she feels better when she wakes up." She stood and smiled at me. "So, you want to help me bring some bags up here?"

Grinning, I remembered that Spike's pain was not my own. My life was headed in a very positive direction. The woman I loved was moving in with me. "You bet! Let me finish getting dressed and I'll come down stairs. Can you check on Spike while I finish up?"

She nodded. "Of course, I'll meet you downstairs. I have a few kitchen things to tuck away too."

I watched her head for the stairs, then quickly grabbed department sweats and pulled them on to go with the old medic T-shirt that I had cut the sleeves out of years ago. I padded down the stairs and stopped when I heard soft voices coming from the living room. I didn't want to eavesdrop but I wanted to know what they were talking about. I flipped a mental coin and decided that knowing was better than wondering. I could barely make out Caity's voice, so I edged down a couple more steps.

"— you know what happened? Did you remember something?"

I didn't catch the first part but I was in a better position, so I settled down to listen.

"I don't know, Caity. It was as if the whole world was closing in on me in a dark storm cloud. I couldn't escape it, but I could hear through it, all those voices calling out for help. I couldn't bear it, so I ran. I don't really remember much else until I woke up a few minutes ago."

Spike's voice sounded raw. She had cried herself hoarse. I didn't know what she was talking about exactly, but I guessed that it had something to do with how she ended up outside.

"So, did something in today's session spark it? Is there anything you need, something I can do for you?" I could hear Caity's voice catch as she asked.

"I don't know. I can't remember anything specific that might have triggered this, but what do I know? Scoop, run, stick, and shock. That's my knowledge," she said bitterly. "But thanks, I think I'm good for now. The sleep seems to have helped."

I chose that moment to stand up and make some noise as I finished coming down the stairs. I didn't want Spike to figure out that I had been listening, but I would talk to Caity about it later. I saw Caity sitting on the edge of the couch with Spike but I just grabbed the bags Caity had left by the stairs and took them back up to what was becoming our bedroom. We had agreed to go slowly with the move since Spike was staying with me. Besides, Caity had to decide if she was going to rent out her house, or sell it.

I tossed her bags on the bed and debated about if I should go back downstairs. The truth was, I was afraid to face Spike after her breakdown. I didn't know how to act but I knew I couldn't stay upstairs forever. I headed back down and went to the kitchen. I watched as Caity put things away, moving around some stuff to make room for her gadgets. She turned around to get something out of a box and saw me standing there, watching her.

"How long have you been there?" she asked.

"Not long, I was just enjoying the sights," I grinned at her.

"Uh huh, why don't you give me a hand unloading this box instead of standing there ogling me. I don't know if you have any special stuff you don't want displaced."

I gave her a somewhat credible leer before laughing at myself. "I don't really care. I figure it will all end up moved around eventually. For now, I'll just search until I find what I need. I'll still give you a hand though. The faster we get this done, the sooner I get to talk to you upstairs."

We worked together and quickly emptied the box. I put it back in Caity's car, so she could use it to move more stuff over. A box at a time was slow, but eventually we would officially be living under one roof full time. As I passed by the living room doorway, I noticed that Spike had vacated the couch. Her car was still outside so I assumed she had gone upstairs to bed.

As I met Caity in the hallway, I asked her, "Do you know if Spike went up to bed? She isn't in the living room and I didn't know if I should check on her or not."

"I think she's doing okay now. I'd say just leave her alone until morning and we'll see how she is then. For now, let's go up to bed. I have more unpacking to do and we haven't seen each other in a couple of days."

We went upstairs, staying quiet until I shut the door to the master bedroom.

Caity leaned into me, "I've missed you. I'm so glad you're home tonight."

I sighed. "Yeah, me too. I hate these doubles, but the extra money is good and it covers for Spike. I kind of feel it is the only way I have to really show my support, you know?"

"Oh, honey, she's fully aware of your support. I know you need to take action to feel as if you're helping, but sometimes, just sitting there and listening is all the support someone needs."

"I know, it just doesn't seem like much to me."

"You need to be easier on yourself, Chloe. You're working yourself so hard, then coming home and trying to help your friend. Plus, we are still getting used to being a couple, we're moving in together, we have to figure out what to do with my house, and we haven't even told anyone about the move yet. Your mentor is going through some really hard things right now and all you want to do is help her. There is a lot of stuff right now, be patient, honey. It will all work out and I'm here to help you through it."

I knew right then, this was the woman I had to spend the rest of my life with, no matter what. She understood things about me that I hadn't recognized myself. "I don't know how you do it, but I'm incredibly glad that you understand me so well. You always seem to know what I need to hear."

"Hey, it's my job as your girlfriend. All part of the package."

"Why don't we get ready for bed? I'm beat and I have to go back in for a shift tomorrow afternoon."

"I thought you had tomorrow off entirely? What happened?"

"It isn't a full shift, only a few hours on a truck and then I'm doing some training for a new class of medics coming through. I should be home before you are tomorrow."

We went about getting ready for bed, and then crawled into bed to cuddle. I was too tired to do much else, no matter what my mind said. It felt right to go to sleep with Caity in my arms, knowing she would be there the next morning when I woke up.

* * *

"Get the hoses out, we need water on that right now!"

The scene was crazy when we rolled up. A small barbeque grill placed too close to the house had gone up in flames and the house caught quickly. We pulled in right behind the engine and ladder trucks and picked a spot to run the medical command. I had Tony on crew with me, Pauli and Gina were out on another call, and a basic unit was on the way to the scene to handle the firefighter rehabilitation station.

"County, medic two two three has medical command on scene."

"Copy medic two two three, command established thirteen forty-four  hours. Switch to channel four."

County, medic two two three, copy, switching to four."

I switched over and reported to the captain. "Fire command, medical command, on channel four, on location, any word on victims?"

"Medical from fire, negative, so far it looks like everyone was out and far enough away. I'll let you know if we need anything other than rehab."

"Fire, medical, copy that, standing by channel four."

I looked over at Tony and was happily surprised to see that he had set up a full rehabilitation area already. I had to admit, he came back from his suspension as a stronger medic than he had been before his incident. He had matured rapidly after he dealt with his friend's injuries.

"Good job, Tony. When the BLS crew reports in, have them set up and you just keep an eye on things. I'll be here if you need anything, but I'd like to see you run the rehab station."

He grinned over at me, "Got it, Donny, I'll take care of it!"

I watched as he walked over to the BLS rig as they pulled in, bringing them up to speed and showing them where we were. They checked in with me via radio and then I watched as they set up just in time for the first wave of firefighters. Most of the crews were fine, but it was warm out so I was pleased to see Tony taking the time to talk to everyone and verify their mental status and hydration.

The fire was really burning now and it had spread to the roof before we even arrived. Now, it was licking around the whole building. I listened to the radio to figure out what plans of attack the firefighters were going to use.

"Fire command to all, just put water on it guys, no interior attacks. The roof is unstable."

"Command, engine two two, copy, just water."

"Medical command, fire command."

"Go ahead, fire."

"Confirmed, no one interior, all residents are accounted for at this time."

"Copy, fire command."

Well, that was good news! Now, all we had to do was treat the firefighters and hang back until the scene was under control. I walked back over to the rehab station to check in with Tony.

"Tony, you heard? Just the crews to treat."

"Yeah, got it. We're doing fine here."

With nothing much to do, I decided to help out by taking vital signs and passing around sports drinks. We finally cleared the scene about four hours after we arrived. No injuries, no one transported, but the house was a total loss. Still, better that than losing even one person.

As we headed back to the station, I let Tony drive so I could finish my notes on the call.

"Donny?"

"Yeah, Tony? What's up?"

"Thanks for letting me run the rehab today. I know the last time we were on a fire scene I kind of lost it…"

"Tony, don't even think about it. We all have stuff that gets to us sometimes. It wasn't the fire scene that got to you last time, it was that someone you consider family was trapped inside. I'm not going to judge you on one incident."

"Thanks, Donny. I just get worried that some of the guys are gonna watch me for another slip up, you know? I really love this job and I don't want to mess up."

"We all mess up, man. It's just a matter of learning from the mistakes we make. We pray that we don't make any mistakes that cause harm, and we keep training to avoid future mistakes. They will happen though, and how we react to them, that is what defines us as good medics."

He nodded and we rode back in silence. I thought about what it must be like to return to work after a suspension like his. Then I thought about Spike and her leave of absence. I wondered what it would be like for her to return to work, even though the reason she was out wasn't known. I sighed, grateful that I had Caity to go home to, to talk to, and to comfort me.

* * *

"Medic two two three, from county."

"County, medic two two three, go ahead."

"Medic two two three, respond to Forty-six Christopher Street for a domestic dispute. PD on scene says one injured female."

"Copy, county, medic two two three responding Forty-six Christopher Street. Copy PD on scene."

Tony flipped on the lights and sirens while I was still talking to dispatch. Since a domestic dispute could mean almost any kind of injury, I was going over basics in my head.

"Tony, it's a female patient, so I'll take crew chief duties. For now let's just bring the basic bag, monitor, and oxygen until we see what we have."

"Copy that, Donny, you grab the bag, I'll get the rest."

"County, medic two two three, on location."

I took a deep breath, grabbed the gear, and headed inside. I despise domestic calls, but I had a job to do. As always, I approached the door with caution, from the hinge side to allow a little more coverage if someone came out swinging or worse. The only thing that greeted me were soft whimpers and a police officer waving us inside.

"Glad to see you guys! We have a female caucasian, mid-thirties, with wounds to her arms, wrists, and hands. From what we know, she broke in here screaming about this being her house. There was only one-person home at the time, the residence's owner. He's the one that called it in. She was trying to look through the house more than attack him, so he grabbed a phone and left the house while she was upstairs. He said she came in through the window in the back, and he isn't sure how she got all cut up, unless it was from the window."

"Wonderful!" I did not love this call already. The last thing I needed was a psych patient on my rig. "Does our patient have a name?"

"The best I got out of her was "Chrissy," but she looks familiar to me. I can't place her but she's all banged up and covered in mud. We have her in the back."

We followed him through the house to a back room that could have been a family room or den. I looked for the patient and almost cried out when I saw her. Blood running down both arms, despite the clumsy bandages done by the police, her shaggy brown hair was in total disarray, and if I hadn't known her for years, I might not have recognized her.

"Shit, Donny! It's Spike! What the fuck happened?" Tony spoke before I could but we were asking the same questions.

I moved closer to her, slowly so I wouldn't startle her. "Hey, Kristy, it's me, Chloe. What happened?" I set my bag down and started to open up one of the pockets to get some bandaging material out without looking away from her. "Can you tell me what's going on?"

She looked up at me, with fear in her eyes. I heard whimpers from her, the same ones I had heard from the front door. "I don't know what happened. Where am I? What's going on Chloe?"

At least she knew me and I took it as a positive sign. "What can you tell me Kristy? When I left the house, you were eating breakfast with Caity. What do you remember after that?" I re-bandaged her cuts as I talked to her. Tony stayed back, getting information from the cops and making sure the homeowner was fine physically.

She shook her head, "I don't know. I remember you leaving, then Caity left, and I did the dishes. I know I had an appointment with Doctor Cooper this afternoon. I think I went but I don't know what else happened." She stopped and seemed to try to gather herself. She leaned closer and whispered to me, "I don't know what's going on, Chloe. I'm scared! What’s wrong with me?"

"I don't know, buddy, but we're gonna find out, okay? Let me talk to Tony and the cops, then we'll get you out of here." She nodded and sat quietly while she waited for us.

I walked over to the cop and the homeowner and asked for a minute of their time.

"Tony, can you go hang with her for a minute? I don't want to leave her on her own just yet." He nodded and sat near Spike, but not too close.

"Guys, here's the thing. This is actually one of my co-workers. She's been going through a tough time and doesn't really know what she was doing here. She is under a doctor's care and this could be a reaction to medication she just started. Was there any damage here other than the scare and the window?"

The homeowner shook his head. "Actually, she didn't even break the window. It was already broken. I was just coming home with the supplies to replace it. She gave me a good scare, but that's all really." He turned to the cop, "I don't want to press charges. Just make sure she gets the help she needs, okay? I hate to see veterans of any service go through tough times."

I thanked him and the officer, then went to Spike and Tony. "Hey, Kristy, do you think you can walk out to the rig? I think we should get you in to have the doc check you out. This could be a med reaction."

Kristy nodded up at me and stood on shaky legs. I grabbed her around the waist and gave her some support as we walked her out to the rig. Tony grabbed the gear, slinging the bag over his shoulder, the oxygen cylinder in one hand, and monitor in the other. Kristy stopped as we got to the rig.

"I don't know if I can get in there. Do I have to?"

She looked at me with a plea in her blue eyes, but I had no choice. "Kristy, I won't strap you down, just sit on the bench seat with me and we'll talk after I call the doc. I promise, I won't make you ride on the litter."

She nodded and stepped up and inside the rig, sitting on the bench where she usually sat when she was working. Tony looked at me as he handed me the gear with a question in his eyes, but he refrained from comments and questions for the time being. I wondered what the hell to do as I loaded the gear and got settled in my seat. I called in to the ER to let them know we were coming before I called Doctor Cooper. I let Kristy talk to her and let her know when we got close to the ER.

After hanging up the phone, Kristy looked at me with fear in her eyes. "She said she wants me to stay here until she can get here to talk to me. I don't want everyone knowing I freaked out, Chloe! You gotta help me out."

I didn't know how, but I knew I would try. When Tony came around the back of the rig, after parking, he opened the doors and I motioned him inside. "Tony, here's the deal on this call. No one needs to know about it. Spike started taking a new medication recently and it looks like she had a severe reaction to it. I don't want to see it affect her job since she's on leave anyway. We clear?"

"Yeah, Donny, no problem. You can bet I'm not planning on saying anything. Talk about a breach of patient confidentiality!"

He went to Spike and in a move that surprised me, he knelt before her. "It's gonna be fine, Spike. As soon as that med clears your system, everything will be fine. Whatever is going on, the docs will get you fixed up and you'll be back to normal."

She nodded, thanked him, and we all got out of the rig. We walked in to the ER, stopping at the nurses' station to find out what room they wanted us to put Kristy in. After getting a room assignment, I sent Tony out to look for extra gear and keep an ear on the radio while I waited to give report. Kristy sat on the examination bed, waiting. I didn't know what to say so I worked on my report and figured out what to say to the nurse.

After a couple of minutes, one of the nurses I knew came in to take my report. She raised an eyebrow at me when she saw Kristy sitting there, but kept quiet. "Robin, I have a thirty-seven year old caucasian female with an altered mental status at the scene. Currently she is conscious, alert, and oriented to person, place, and time. She was unaware of traveling to and arriving at the scene but was able to recognize me when I spoke to her. There is no evidence of any serious injuries, no known allergies, and one new medication, Zoloft fifty milligrams, once a day. Her doctor is on her way in to see her, ETA of fifteen minutes."

Robin nodded as she took notes and then she signed my chart to acknowledge the transfer of medical care to the ER. I stood there, not wanting to leave, but not really wanting to stay either. Robin started taking Kristy's vitals and talking softly to her.

"So, you missed me so much while you've been out from work that you contrived a way to visit me, Spike? You could have just called or stopped in you know."

Spike actually chuckled at Robin and I felt some hope. "Well, I was hoping you'd baked some of your cookies, got any back in the break room?"

I stood a minute more as they bantered then slipped out from the curtained room to find Tony. He was out by the rig, waiting for me to appear. He shifted from foot to foot as I approached, waiting until I reached him to ask questions.

"So, how is she? What was going on back there, Donny?"

"I don't know for sure, Tony, but it looks like a med reaction. Must be a bad allergy or something."

"I've never seen anything like that from a med reaction before. Are you sure?"

"Well, I don't know what else it could be, and I'm not going to speculate. She's on leave anyway and it isn't our business." I tried to look stern instead of worried as I spoke, hoping to convey the message that he should keep quiet about this call.

"I hear ya, Donny, this is just between us. I'm just thinking that you and I should do something to help her if something is really wrong. No one else needs to know anything."

I sighed. It wasn't that I wasn't glad of the offer of support for our friend, but it was another person and it wasn't my call to let him in or not.

"Look, unless she comes back to work acting funny, or asks for our help, we have to assume that she's fine. I'm not going to get worked up and I suggest we drop it. Let's get going and get back to the station."

He shrugged and took the keys from his pocket. As we settled into the front seats of the cab, he looked over at me one more time. "If you're sure, then I'm with you, Donny. If anything does come up that I can help with, please let me know. I can keep my mouth shut. Spike is the reason I was able to remain in our station house after I lost it at that fire. She stuck up for me and argued that the suspension was enough to get my attention. It was and I'm grateful for the help she's given me. So, if anything is needed, I'm here. That's all I needed to say… so, what's for lunch?"

I grinned at his way of changing topics. Food is always a good way to distract me. "Lead on driver, whatever your pleasure today, but food sounds good." I groaned, "and then I have the medic students coming in to base."

Tony grinned but wisely kept silent.

* * *

"Thanks, baby, I'll see you at home later."

I hung up the phone in my office and sat back in the desk chair to think. Caity had gone to the hospital to pick up Spike. Instead, she was told that the doctor was going to keep her overnight. She called me to fill me in and ask what I thought about it. The honest truth was that I had no idea what had happened earlier in the day and that worried me. The idea of my mentor running around without knowing where she was or how she got there was scary. All sorts of things could have happened and I was grateful the outcome had been as positive as it was.

A knock on the door startled me from my thoughts. "Come in," I called.

A head of spiky blond hair poked through the partially open doorway as Pauli looked inside. "You busy?"

"Not really. I'm not feeling too productive right now. What's up?" I motioned her inside and nodded at one of the chairs in front of the desk.

"I was wondering how things are going with Spike. I haven't heard anything in a week or so and Caity hasn't mentioned anything. Any idea when she's coming back to work?"

"Umm, I guess she's fine. I don't know for sure. I'm spending an awful lot of time right here these days. Why?"

"Just worried, I guess. I feel sort of responsible for her being gone."

I nodded in understanding. I, too, felt responsible, but I felt worse since I saw her on that call this morning. "You know, neither of us is actually the reason she's not working here right now. It is a culmination of years of not taking care of herself properly. She sublimated her own needs to bury herself in the job. I don't know why she did it, but the result wasn't healthy. She made the choices that led her here, and she made the choices that are leading her to help now."

"Yeah, I know, but it is still hard to walk around and pretend that I don't know why she isn't here. Do you think I could stop by and see her sometime?" Pauli looked at me, waiting for an answer as I thought it over.

"Why don't you let me talk to her about it and I'll let you know when a good time to visit would be. I don't want her to feel like we're deciding things for her. Okay?"

"Yeah, thanks, Donny! By the way, since Caity has been much happier these days, I asked her about it. I hope you don't mind, but she told me about you two moving in together. I think it's great! If you need any help, let me know."

"Thanks, Pauli, now get outta here so I can pretend to do some work." I grinned at her. I was bashful about the personal turn the talk had taken, but glad that she approved.

CHAPTER 11

TEN HOURS LATER I finally walked out of the station and headed for home. All I could think about was getting there and seeing Caity. I needed some time with her, and she was off shift for the next couple of days. I called to let her know I was on my way but got her voicemail, so I left a message and hoped to see her at home.

While driving home, I thought about the weird events of the day and decided that I would wait until I could talk to Spike and her doctor to decide if staying with me was best for her. I worried that I couldn't provide the time and care she needed. At least, not while I was also covering her shifts at work.

I had just gotten out of my car when Caity came out of the house to meet me in the driveway. It felt so damn good to hold her that I just wanted to stop time and enjoy this forever.

"Mmm, hi, baby, what time did you get home?"

"A few hours ago. I went to my house to grab more stuff before I came back here. I stopped and picked up something  to make dinner too. Sorry I missed your call, I was unloading groceries."

"I knew I loved you! You are the best, thank you. I'm too tired to think about cooking right now. I just want to get my boots off, grab a shower, and hold you."

She snuggled into me a bit tighter and kissed my neck. "Sounds like a plan. You go get showered and I'll get started on dinner. Just come down in time to eat and then I'm yours to hold all night."

I gave her another squeeze before letting her go so I could grab my gear bag. I held her hand as we headed into the house, then pulled her back to me to kiss her lightly. Her lips felt so soft and warm beneath mine, I couldn't help but kiss her a little longer. I teased her lips open with my tongue and slipped inside her mouth. Her tongue slid against mine as we pressed closer together. When we finally broke apart, I was gasping for breath, my heart racing.

"Want to join me in the shower?" I asked Caity. "Plenty of room you know, and we could conserve water."

She laughed, shaking her head. "As tempting as that is, I think you should shower, I'll cook, and we can pick this up again after I get you fed. I know you didn't eat most of today since I was the one sending you on too many calls during the majority of your shift. Now go get cleaned up and I'll have food ready when you get back down."

I grabbed at her but she evaded my searching arms and laughed as I gave her a disappointed pout. I sighed heavily, as if to show her how tortured I was, but when I saw she wasn't buying it, I grinned and headed upstairs. It was strange, but it felt really great that she wanted to take such good care of me.

Walking into the bedroom, I saw some extra stuff spread around that I knew were from Caity's old bedroom and I liked the feeling it gave me to see her things here among mine. I felt grounded, loved, and safe. Things I hadn't thought to seek from outside of myself in a long time.

I stripped off my uniform, tossed it in the hamper, and headed for the shower. When I entered the bathroom, I found a surprise waiting for me. The tub the previous owner had installed was far more luxurious than I would have bought, but I had fallen in love with it. There was a separate shower stall in addition to the soaking tub. The tub was filled with hot water, scented with the sage and green tea bath salts I loved. There was a note, held down by a mug, with a thermos standing next to it. I read, "I thought you might need to relax and I didn't want you to argue with me. I ran the water when I realized I missed your call so it should be hot. There is just the right amount of honey in your tea, enjoy your bath, and I'll call you in time for dinner. Love, Caity."

I was in shock at her thoughtfulness but I decided to thank her later and do as her note said for now. I moved the mug and thermos to the tub and eased into the hot water. I poured some tea, blew on it to cool it a bit, and sipped before leaning back against the tub to relax. I could feel the tension ebb from my body as the tea and hot water worked their magic.

I was fully relaxed when Caity walked in a little while later. She smiled at me, leaned down and kissed my forehead before asking, "Feeling better? You sounded so stressed earlier today that I thought you could use some time to unwind."

"You are undoubtedly the best woman in the world, Caity Connor! I feel so great right now. Thanks, baby. Is dinner ready? I think I'm about to turn into a prune anyway."

"Yup, by the time you get dried and dressed, I'll have dinner ready to serve. Come on down when you're ready."

I watched as she left the bathroom, taking the mug and thermos with her. I let the tub drain, watching as the water swirled around the drain before shaking myself from my thoughts. I pulled a thick bath sheet around me as I got out of the tub and went into the bedroom to dress. I slid on some comfortable baggy shorts and a slightly too large T-shirt, and gave my hair a swift brushing before pulling it back into a ponytail. Deciding against socks or shoes, I padded downstairs to the kitchen and found that the table had been set, the wine poured, and my wonderful Caity was waiting for me.

"Something smells great, honey. You didn't have to go through so much work for dinner. I would have been happy with a sandwich as long as you were sharing it with me."

I got another kiss before being shown my seat.

"Just sit down and let me get dinner out of the oven. Besides, I love to cook for you and you know it. You've been dealing with a lot lately and this is one way I've come up with to help you and pamper you a bit."

As she spoke, she was pulling dishes from the oven and bringing them to the table. I watched with anticipation, feeling the hunger in my stomach make itself known. "You made your mashed sweet potato casserole? If I hadn't already asked you to move in with me, I would certainly do it now," I joked.

In truth, her mashed sweet potatoes are some of the best I've ever tasted. She uses baked sweet potatoes, scoops out the insides, mashes them with some butter, cinnamon sugar, nutmeg, and a little cream. Not enough sugar to make them too sweet like those marshmallow concoctions at Thanksgiving, just sweet enough to revel in.

"You made turkey for me too?" I looked over at her as she settled down next to me at the table. Before us sat a roasted turkey breast and a dish of stuffing. There was even a salad. "Did you have a reason for this mini-Thanksgiving?"

"I do actually. Aside from the fact that I am, of course, very grateful for us becoming an us, and our moving in together, I am grateful that Kristy is getting treated in the hospital. I think she needs more help than we realized. I figured we could both use comfort food tonight and what’s better than Thanksgiving? Besides, I admit to cheating. I bought the stuffing at the pre-made foods section of the grocery store deli."

"Baby, it could have been from a box, just that fact that you made us dinner, that you chose comfort foods on a night I really needed the comfort means so much. I am at a loss, you have pampered me from the moment I walked in the door in a way I never thought possible. Thank you, I love you."

I leaned over and kissed her gently, taking a moment to appreciate the feeling of being loved so well. When I sat upright again, I started serving us both dinner and promised to do the dishes.

"What do you think happened today? She didn't know where she was or how she got there. I have to admit, I was scared when we got there and found her like that."

Caity finished chewing, and then she answered me. "I'm not sure what was going on but I did find out that it actually had been her house at one time. She lived there until she was six years old. She moved around quite a bit from then on before she was placed in the foster care system."

I thought that over but it made me have more questions than it answered. "So, you are telling me that a six-year-old remembered her childhood home well enough for her to find it today, thirty-one years later? What do you mean foster care? I didn't know she was in foster care."

"Well, she didn't exactly remember the house. Her doctor hypnotized her to try to make sense of what happened this morning. Her medication wasn't the cause apparently. All I know is what she told me. By the time I got to the hospital, her doctor had been there for a little while. They moved her to a quiet lounge and talked for a while and I went to the cafeteria. The doctor expedited things and got her moved upstairs to a private room very quickly. She put her on a med/surg floor and is calling it a possible medication reaction to keep it off her records for now."

"Wow, that was really cool of her. I'm a little surprised though. Why is she willing to do that for her?"

Caity shrugged, "I don't know for certain, but she said something about her loyalty to EMS. I think someone in her family must have been a member of the service. Maybe that's why she tries to focus on EMS personnel."

"I guess it would explain things if she had a family member in service. I'm just glad she's taking such great care of Pauli and Kristy."

"Honey, she will be okay, you know that, right?"

"I hope so." I sighed as I said it because I just wasn't sure if I believed she would ever be back to normal.

"Well, I know you're worried about it her. You hardly ever call her Kristy. You only do that if it is a serious talk, you told me that once."

"Oh? So now you're an expert on me, are you?" I grinned to make sure she knew I was kidding. "Well, I guess you're right. Today I saw Kristy, a vulnerable, injured woman. There was no sign of Spike, the medic extraordinaire that I've worked with for years." I mentally shook off the chill that accompanied the reminder of the scene that morning. "So, what else did you learn at the hospital?"

"I couldn't stay too long since I did have to get to work, but I talked to her by phone during my ride home. From the hypnosis, they discovered that she had lived there until her grandmother died. Then her father kept them moving for a few years until he passed away in an accident at his construction site. Her mother had taken off when she was a baby, so there really wasn't anyone to take care of her."

"I had no idea about any of this stuff. She told me she moved a lot as a kid but not about the foster care. I guess I just figured her family was military or someone kept changing jobs."

"I don't know but she was only nine when she entered the system. That's really as much as I learned today other than one thing. I think the doctor wants to keep her in the hospital for a few days. She mentioned something about more hypnosis to figure out what is bothering Kristy enough to have this morning happen."

"Is it all right for me to visit her tomorrow? I don't want to intrude but I don't want to leave her there all alone either."

"We can both go in the morning if you like. I don't work until noon."

"Thanks, baby, I'd like that better than going alone, I think." Her shift registered with me, finally. "Noon? Why are you doing a middle shift? That means you get off at nine?"

She nodded. "I'm doing a favor for someone and switched. I prefer my day shifts but I don't mind helping out now and then. Kind of like I don't mind working weekends when you do too. I know that you're off tomorrow, but I figured you could make me dinner tomorrow night."

"I knew there was a catch in there!" I grinned at her, "I will gladly make you dinner tomorrow night. Any requests?"

"I'm off the next day with you, so I have no bedtime and that means it doesn't matter. Surprise me with a chef's special."

She laughed but I started planning the meal in my head. I love cooking for an audience, and Caity is my favorite audience.

* * *

I awoke to find Caity already in the shower. I smiled to myself as I slipped from beneath the covers and headed for the bathroom to join her. I knocked gently on the doorframe to announce myself. I wanted to seduce her, not scare her into arresting in the shower. She looked good enough to eat as I watched her through the frosted doors of the shower. It was one of those older shower stalls, over sized with the double glass doors. One of the features I liked about the house was the frosted doors with pictures of palm trees and a beach etched into them. I had decided that it was sort of like showering in a tropical setting every day.

At my knock, Caity looked up and opened one door slightly. "Good morning, I was letting you sleep in a bit. You were so tired that you fell asleep before your head hit the pillow."

I groaned. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to be such a dud. I guess I was more tired than I thought."

She invited me to join her in the shower and slid the door shut after I entered. She moved her slick body against mine as she swept my hair back from my face. All I could feel was her skin against me everywhere. The tips of her breasts were rubbing against mine, both of us with nipples fully erect. Her legs moved so that one was between my thighs and her hands ran over my body in the warm water of the shower. I buried my head in her neck and pulled her tighter against me, needing the warmth of her embrace.

She moved against me, slicking her hands down my back to grab my ass. She ground her thigh between my legs and held me there tightly. My clit was throbbing and I could feel how wet she made me. She started nibbling at my neck and moved to suck my left earlobe into her hot mouth. I groaned and pushed against her leg, feeling my hips move on their own. "Baby, you're killing me. I want you so badly. Let's go back to bed," I suggested.

She moaned as I found her breasts with my hands and bit down gently on the tendon in her neck. "I don't want to stop, I want you right here and now."

She pushed me against the wall of the shower and knelt down below the stream of water. She quickly spread me open with her fingers and moved her tongue up and down my slit. She didn't tease me much, knowing how close I was already. "Is this what you want, Chloe? You want my tongue? Do you want my fingers too?"

I groaned and tried to keep myself from sliding down the wall. "Please, baby, please, go inside me. I want you inside when I come." I could feel it building, that tightening of my muscles, the way my hips moved without thought, seeking out the warm caresses of Caity's tongue.

Caity moved quickly then, she slid two fingers in me and I almost screamed from the pleasure of having her inside me. Her tongue moved all over me before settling in a flicking motion against my clit. I knew I wouldn't last long but I didn't care. All I wanted was to come and then make her do the same. I couldn't wait to feel her, to be inside of her, and taste her. Just thinking about it got me so excited that I felt my orgasm start. "Oh God, Caity, don't stop. I'm gonna come. Oh God… yes, baby, YES!" I screamed and then had no more air to scream. My body shuddered instead as wave after wave of electric pleasure rippled through me. All I could feel was Caity's magical tongue as she continued to gently lick me clean as I finished my orgasm.

She moved up my body and held me against the wall of the shower. As I started to come back to myself, I felt tears on my face.  

"Chloe, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head and tried to figure out what was wrong. "I don't know, maybe nothing. Maybe I'm just so happy I started crying. I love you so damn much, Caity."

She wrapped her arms around me tighter and ran her fingers through my hair as I rested my head against her shoulder. "I love you too, honey, I love you too. I love how you love me. Let's go lay down for a bit. I want to hold you."

We dried off and went back to bed, snuggling under the covers. I relaxed as she held me, letting my mind drift a bit as my hands wandered over her beautiful body. She was slowly stroking my back and held me close to her, keeping as much skin in contact as possible.

I felt the muscles of her abdomen under my hand and started to move slowly upward in small circles of light massage. "Let me show you, baby, let me show you how much I love you!"

I continued to caress her as I reached her breasts, working my way around the outer skin of her breasts as I shifted my body to lie more on top of her than on my side. I let my thumbs graze her nipples which were already stiff and enlarged for me. I heard her moan and felt her body shift to allow me greater access. I ran my tongue around her navel before sliding my tongue up her body and nibbling the undersides of her breasts. I let one hand wander down to stroke the smooth skin of her thighs, while my other hand was tangled in her shiny brown hair. I feasted on her breasts, moving from one to the other and back again while my hand, guided by her moans, moved towards her center.

"Please, Chloe, touch me. Go inside me." She moved her head back and forth letting out little gasps as I found sensitive areas and teased them before moving on to different spots. I let one finger brush gently against her opening before moving to smooth her wetness around her clit.

Groaning with need, I slipped through her juice, coating my fingers, which I then used to paint her nipple before returning my hand to her. I licked her breasts clean and moved to kiss her neck before capturing  her mouth.

"What do you want, Caity? How do you want me?"

Gasping, she replied, "I don't care, just take me hard, fast, and soon. I need to come so badly. Please, baby, let me come."

Grinning at the need in her voice, no, I grinned because I put that need in her voice; I decided it was time to move things along. I pulled her arms up and over her head.

I told her what I wanted. "Hold on to the headboard, just like that. Just leave them up there or I'll stop what I'm doing until you're holding on again."

She whimpered and nodded, need driving her crazy. I could see it in her eyes, those gorgeous hazel eyes had grown darker with an even darker ring around the iris. I kissed her again, hard and demanding. I settled between her hips, spreading her legs even wider for me. When I thrust my tongue into her mouth, I also pushed three fingers into her dripping center I put the force of my hips behind it as I sank into her heat and we both cried out from the sheer pleasure of it. I started moving, making sure that my hand bumped into her enlarged clit every time I entered her. I could feel her body as it tightened, preparing for her release.

"You like it this way, don't you, baby? You feel me inside of you?"

"Yes, yes. Deeper, Chloe, go deeper. I want you  so much, baby, so much."

* * *

I sat up suddenly in bed, automatically reaching out for Caity next to me. She wasn't there and I felt the panic rise in my throat. I threw aside the covers and went looking for her. I found her in the guest room that Kristy was staying in. She was on her cell phone and I relaxed a little. It must have rung and I didn't hear it. She heard me and turned to motion that she would be just another minute.

"Yes, I understand, thank you for calling." Then she closed her phone.

"What's going on? I'm sorry, I didn't even hear the phone ring."

She took a deep breath and started crying. Not knowing what to do I gathered her in my arms and tried to sooth her. "What happened? Is it Kristy?"

She tried to get her voice under control, and then pushed in closer to me. "That was Captain Williams. There was an incident at a call today and Pauli was injured. She's in the ER at University right now."

"What happened? Let's get dressed and go over." I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into the bathroom so we could wash up from activities that now seemed far away. I helped her get dressed while she continued to cry and to try to tell me what she knew.

"They went out to a call for an injured person. Turns out, it was a domestic issue and there were no cops on scene. They went in and there was a call from Tony for police to respond as well as for another crew. That's really all the captain could tell me."

"Let's get down there and find out. I'm going with you and we'll take care of her."

We jumped in the car and headed to the hospital, about a ten-minute drive. There was absolute silence until we drew close. I didn't know what to do other than hold her hand while she just stared out the window.

As we got close, Caity turned to me and asked, "What will I do if something happens to her, Chloe? She's the only sister I have. My parents told me to look out for her."

I glanced over as I turned into the parking area by the ER. "You didn't injure her, Caity. You're a great sister, and Pauli knows how much you love her. Your parents would never have expected that you care for her constantly. She is an adult and she knows how to take care of herself. Let's just get inside and see what is actually going on."

CHAPTER 12

CAITY GRABBED MY hand tightly as I brought us in the ambulance entrance to the ER. We went to the board and saw what room Pauli was in but I still stopped a nurse and asked about her condition, as well as that of her partner, before we went to see for ourselves. I didn't want Caity to walk in to a bloody mess or watching them resuscitate her sister.

"You can go on in, Donny. I think they are keeping her on a twenty-four hour hold, just to watch her, but she's going to be fine."

I gave the nurse a grateful smile and brought Caity to the curtain covering the entrance to Pauli's cubicle. I stuck my head around the curtain first, just to make sure there was nothing showing that would upset Caity, then pulled her inside with me. Pauli was sacked out, her left arm was immobilized, and there was a dressing on her forehead. Other than that, she looked unharmed.

Caity took hold of Pauli's right hand and held it tightly between her own. Pauli's eyes started to open and she winced as she turned to look at Caity.

"Hey, kiddo, how ya feeling?" I had to ask, no one was saying anything and the quiet was deafening.

"Sore, but I'll be fine, Donny. Thanks for bringing her down. Caity, did you hear me? I'm going to be just fine." Pauli tried to get Caity to look at her, but Caity kept her head down, bowed over Pauli's right hand.

"Baby, isn't that good? Pauli's going to be fine. Honey?" I bent down next to her, trying to catch her attention. Without warning, she released Pauli's hand and started to collapse against me. I grabbed at her, catching her before she could fall and put her in the chair next to the bed.

"Put your head down between your knees. That's it. I've got you, baby. Everything is fine." I rubbed her back and kept an eye on her until she was able to bring her head up without looking as white as a sheet. She gave us both a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened."

I hugged her close, "It's a normal reaction, baby. You were worried about your kid sister and it was the relief combined with the stress. Your body got overwhelmed for a minute but you're okay now."

Pauli was looking at us with concern. "I'm sorry, Caity. I didn't mean to make you worry. I'm really fine. I could go home right now if they would let me. The captain says I have to stay here overnight so that I'm covered by the insurance and stuff. I'll do what they tell me to, so please, don't worry."

She looked more worried about Caity than she was about her own injuries. I had to put a stop to this and find out what had happened.

"Look, you two, I think this sisterly joint worry thing is great and all but can we take a break? Caity, she is going to be fine, let's find out why she is here to begin with, and Pauli, Caity is fine as well, she really didn't eat yet today so that may have had something to do with it."

I looked at them both and they looked at me, then at each other and grinned. Finally! A break through at last! Encouraged, I pressed on, "Now, as a part of your chain of command and as a concerned friend, tell me what happened out there?"

Pauli rubbed her hand over her face and ruffled up her spiky blond hair as she gathered her thoughts. "Well, we were dispatched to the address for an injured woman and we had no additional information. According to county, the caller simply gave the address and said his wife was injured. He didn't say anything else before he hung up. We arrived on scene and when I radioed dispatch, they said PD was en route, but they would be another five minutes. We grabbed our gear and went to the door, I was lead, and Tony had my back."

She stopped to think and I looked to Caity. She appeared to be handling this pretty well so far but I moved a little so I could keep a better eye on her as Pauli continued.

"The door was partially open, so after knocking and identifying ourselves, we made our way inside. I had Tony hang back a bit to keep the exit route clear and started calling out and trying to find the patient. There was a long hall that I went down that led to a large kitchen and it was when I got closer that I saw the blood."

She stopped then and just stared ahead of her.

"What blood, Pauli? What happened?" I asked but I was afraid I knew the answer.

"I called to Tony to hurry up PD as I went into the kitchen, focused on the woman on the ground. She was bleeding heavily from a chest wound, so I started with direct pressure and I was trying to work on her when I heard Tony yell to me. As he came in, he had seen the guy in the corner coming towards me. Donny, this was my fault! I tunnel-visioned on the patient and didn't check the room out first."

I looked at her and tried to figure out how to handle this well. Yeah, technically she was right. She should have checked the room for safety first, but we're human too. She saw a large amount of blood and a still viable patient. She did what we are trained to do, she tried to save a life. 

"Look, no one is perfect all of the time. You did what you thought was best at the time. The good news is, you will be fine. Tony wasn't really hurt, and the woman is critical but stable. You gave her a fighting chance, Pauli. Tell me the rest of it. I know there's more."

She flushed but went on, "Well, yeah, when Tony yelled, I looked up and this big guy was coming at me with a knife. I ducked but he still got my forehead, ten stitches for that one. I grabbed his arm with the knife and managed to disarm him, but when I used a shoulder throw on him, he shifted on me. I got him down but he pulled on my arm enough to dislocate my shoulder. Tony took it from there and kept him down until the cops got there and took over. I went back to the patient and kept pressure on her wound with my good arm until the other crew got there."

Caity gasped and I turned in time to see her stand up. Quickly, I went to her just in case she started to pass out again but she pushed me away. She went to Pauli and I wasn't sure if she was going to slap her or praise her. Honestly, I don't know if she was sure until the words started coming.

"Pauline Connor! You mean to tell me that you went charging in to a scene without verifying scene safety? Then you disarm an armed man, getting hurt in the process, and you still took care of your patient while having a dislocated shoulder?"

I had ever seen Caity like this and I wasn't sure what to do. If it had been anyone else, I could have told them to stand down, but this was family and I wasn't getting in the crossfire unless I had no choice. I couldn't believe how quickly Pauli sat up at the use of her full name. That part was at least a little amusing.

"Um, yeah. I'm sorry, Sis, I really didn't think. It all happened so fast and if I hadn't gone in, she would have bled out before the cops got there and dealt with the guy."

Her eyes bright with unshed tears still, Caity looked at her sister and leaned down to kiss her above the bandage.

"Pauli, I love you. I am so very glad that you will be fine but you scared the hell out of me. I am so proud of you too! While I wish you had been more careful, you kept your head, protected yourself, your partner and the patient. Even injured, you took care of that poor woman. You really are something special." She paused then added, "But do me a favor? Don't do it again!"

Pauli and I both laughed and she agreed to do her best to avoid future incidents. The truth was, as a dispatcher she knew that the dispatch center had no idea they were sending a team into a dangerous place. Other than waiting for PD, they had done their job. Knowing the politics of the department, someone would spin this into a more heroic tale than it was and the two medics would receive commendations.

I mock glared at Pauli and she quickly sat up and stopped laughing. I let her stew a minute before coming closer to her and leaning in to make sure she understood me very clearly. "Paramedic Connor, you will stay in the hospital until the medical staff provides you with a proper discharge. At that time, you will stay with your sister and me until you are in better shape. Is that understood?" As I finished, I relaxed my face and gave her a wink.

A look of relief passed over her face and she smiled. "You bet, Donny. Thanks, you had me going there for a minute. But wait, will there be room, isn't Spike staying there too?"

I had forgotten that Pauli didn't know that Spike was in a room just a few floors above our heads. I couldn't tell her that and besides, I had the room either way. "She's still a resident in the Hotel Connor-Donovan, but there is still room for family."

Caity gave my hand a squeeze, I suppose in thanks, but either way, Pauli was my family, and I would always try to help family. Pauli looked tired, so we told her that Caity had to get to work soon and took our leave. In truth, we headed upstairs first to check on Kristy before leaving.

In the elevator Caity leaned against me and I gave her a hug. "You okay, babe?"

She stood up straight again and replied, "Yes, but thank you for everything you did in there. I was a wreck when I saw her. All I could think was, ‘Dear Lord, not her too!' I just flashed on losing our father on the job, you know?"

"I know, that's why I kept an eye on you. I think that's why Pauli looked worried about you too. But this isn't like with your father, she is going to be just fine in a few weeks."

She sighed as we walked off the elevator a few minutes later. "I know, but sometimes I hate that the two most important people in my world work for the same department that cost me my father."

I was silent for a moment. I would give up my job for her if I had to, but the problem was that I loved my job. It was part of my identity. Caity was part of my soul though, and it was an easy contest. I pulled her to the side of the hallway to talk a bit more. "Do you want me to resign? Is that it?"

"I wouldn't ask you to do that, baby! I would never consider asking you to leave the department."

"I know, but I'm offering, you didn't ask. Would you like me to resign? I can teach, I can go back to school and become a physician's assistant. I don't care what I end up doing. I just want you to be happy and stay with me."

She looked at me like I had grown an extra head. "Chloe, I'm sorry if I gave you the idea that I want you to quit. Would I like to keep you safe? Of course, but being a paramedic is part of who you are. I know that and I knew it long before I fell in love with you. I love you for being willing to give it up, but I can't ask you to give up something that means so much to you. I like everything about who you are as a person, that includes your desire to save lives and help people."

"Are you sure? I promise to do my best to stay safe but I can't promise anything. I'll never be rich doing this either."

When I said that, she started chuckling. "I surely never thought about money when I fell for you, Donovan! My family has been fire service for so long that our blood has soot in it. I know the risks and I know that loving a member of the department means that there is a lot of love and some risk. But loving a member of the department means accepting the good and bad parts of the job, the hours, the risk, the extended family, the constant stories, and the obsession with new toys for your med kits and ambulances."

I had to grin then, because it was true. We never stopped telling stories and talking about new gear. "Okay, you've got my number. Thanks, baby, for understanding me so well."

"No need to thank me, and of course I have your number! It's the same as mine now." She threw me a wink and headed for the door to Kristy's room before I knew what had happened. All I could do was laugh.

* * *

I followed Caity into Kristy's hospital room and was happy to see her sitting up in a chair reading a book. When we entered the room, she smiled at us in greeting. "Hey guys, thanks for stopping in. What's going on?"

She sounded cheerful, not at all like the confused person from the call the other day. "We're good. How about you? Any idea when we can spring you from this joint?" I leaned against the wall and motioned to Caity to take the other chair in the room.

She shrugged her shoulders, shook her head, and said, "Nope, you know doctors never commit to a date of release. We have done some good work while I've been in here. The private room helps with sessions and I've been able to think. The doc has done that hypnosis stuff on me a few times now and we started figuring out some of what happened to me." Her face grew dark, like storm clouds had just rolled over the whole sky.

Caity spoke up, reaching a hand out to touch Kristy's sleeve. "You don't have to tell us about anything you don't want to, but if you do want to talk, we're both willing to listen, anytime."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, buddy, if you need anything, just let me know. I just want to help out and get you back with us at the station."

Kristy looked at me sadly. "I might not come back, Donny. I just don't know if I can go back after all of this. I'm sure it has gotten around that I'm in here. Besides, I just don't know if I have it in me anymore."

Shocked doesn't begin to cover what I felt after hearing the best medic around giving up so easily. "First off, Tony has grown up a lot since that suspension. He actually offered his help with whatever was going on and has kept his mouth shut about it. No one knows you were the patient on that call or what happened. Pauli has kept her mouth shut too, though she did come to me to ask if you would be willing to let her visit. I told her I'd talk to you about her coming by the house."

That reminded me of the little problem of both women staying with us, and that Pauli would soon know that Kristy wasn't with us right now. Quickly, I filled her in on that information and asked how she wanted me to handle it.

"I hate to lie to the kid. I know she won't say anything, so go ahead and tell her. She can visit if she wants to see me. I think I'd like that. She's a good medic and a good kid."

Caity smiled. "Thanks, Kristy. I'll bring her by when I pick her up from here tomorrow. I've got to get to work, but if you need us to bring anything, or if you want to talk, just call either one of us."

"Got it, I'm not ready yet. It isn't you guys, I just can't deal with some of the stuff the doc and I are talking through right now. If you could bring a few books over, that would be good. The television sucks and I'm bored."

I stepped in at that point. "Look, I'm gonna run Caity home to get her car, then I have some errands to run anyway. Why don't I bring you some books while I'm out? Any requests?"

"Nope, just about anything that isn't medical related. Some history stuff or biographies would be nice."

"You got it, I just happen to have a few things I think you might like. I'll also bring some of those Soduko books you like, might as well grow your brain while you're in here." Her addiction to those number games was well known.

"Great, thanks. I'll see you later."

As we left, I felt Caity take my hand. I wasn't sure which one of us was giving or receiving comfort at that point. Maybe it was a little of each for both of us, but it helped. By the time we got home, Caity had just enough time to change and get to work. I did some chores, grabbed the books I promised Kristy, and headed to the store to get the Soduko books.

* * *

As I pulled in to the hospital lot for the second time that day, I decided to go see what was going on with Pauli while I was there. I checked in the ER first but found she had been moved to a room, so I headed upstairs. I knocked on the doorframe of her room and went in to find two investigators from Internal Affairs asking her questions.

"What's going on here?" I asked, feeling my temper rise.

"And you are?" asked the older guy standing closest to me.

"I'm her field supervisor and I don't appreciate you coming in here to bother her while she is recovering from serious injuries.'

"We have a job to do, just as you do. Why don't you let us finish up and we can go on our way," he suggested.

Pauli looked worn out as well as pissed off. I decided to stand my ground with these two pests. "I don't think so. According to the department guidelines, she is entitled to have a representative present while being questioned. I'm that rep, right Pauli?"

"Yup, I asked to call you and they wouldn't let me, Donny."

That got me steamed. "You were denied your right to a representative?" I turned to the two men with a glare. "I want your names, badge numbers, and supervisor's name. I want it right now, and then, I want you two investigators to get the hell out of this room. Got it?" I was using my best command voice and it seemed to be working.

The younger guy shot a look at his partner before pulling a business card out of his jacket. He scribbled some information on the back, handed it to me, and then tried to apologize.

"Look, I don't want any hassles. We weren't denying her her rights! We simply didn't see a need to bother you. All we wanted was some basic information for our report. That's it, nice and simple stuff."

I pocketed the card without looking at it. Instead, I turned my glare back on him as he rambled on. "I don't care. Now, get out and don't come back until you are called back, clear?"

The older guy sneered at me. "You don't control us. You don't outrank us either. I don't know who you think you are but—

"I'll tell you exactly who I think I am. I'm her," I pointed at Pauli, "supervisor, which means that she is under my protection. You will not risk her health for your gain. After she has had some rest, I will call you back to finish your interview. Now get out before I call security in here."

The younger guy mumbled some apologies as he pushed his partner out of the room. I turned to Pauli and noticed that she did look worn out. "You okay, kid? What were they after?"

Pauli shook her head slightly, "I don't know, Donny. I'm worn out, but I'm not hurting too badly. They came in, waving department badges and asking questions. I asked to make a phone call to you and they refused. Actually, right after that is when you came in."

"What did they ask before I got here? Any idea what they were after?" It didn't make sense that they were that gungho to investigate this incident.

"They asked for a run down of how the call happened, where my partner was located, and what the patient's injuries were. I didn't tell them anything. I didn't know them. I didn't get a good look at their ID, and I wasn't going to talk without someone else being present. For all I know, they were trying to trick me into giving away confidential information."

I tried to reassure her. "You did the right thing. I don't know what they were fishing for, but I don't like their manners or tactics. I'm gonna borrow your phone and call the captain about this."

I dialed in to the station first. Gina answered so I asked her if the captain was in yet.

"He just got back a few minutes ago. Have you seen Pauli yet? How's she doing?"

"She's doing fine and I'm actually standing right next to her. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Yes, please. Thanks, Donny. I'll get the captain for you after I talk to her, I promise."

"That's fine, Gina, I can wait a minute. Here she is."

I handed the phone to Pauli and stepped over to the window for a minute to think about how I should approach this with the captain. I did my best not to listen to Pauli's side of the conversation but I heard her speaking softly and an almost whispered, "I'll see you later," before she called me back to the phone.

"Thanks, Donny, I'll go grab the Cap now for you, hold one."

"Copy that," I smiled at her use of radio terms and even wider when I realized that I had followed her lead and answered in the same manner.

A gruff voice came on the line, "This is Captain Williams, what can I do for you?"

"Hey, Cap, it's Donny. I think you should know that I found IA in Connor's hospital room giving her a hard time."

I heard him grumble and the squeak of his chair as I imagined him leaning back in it. "Just wonderful! What the hell did they want from her?"

"I'm not sure, Cap, but they were asking for information on today's incident, including patient information. They also refused to let her call anyone in as a representative to sit with her. It was just luck that I came in when I did."

He sighed and I could hear him shuffling some papers. "Just wonderful, something else to add to this fucked up day! Tell me the rest."

"I got their names and badges, told them we would be in touch when she was healthier, and chased them out. I think you can expect a complaint about me being a bully."

I gave him the information on the two IA guys and filled him in on Pauli's condition before we hung up. When I turned to face Pauli, she was sound asleep. I wrote her a note and left it for her before I headed up to see Kristy.

When I got there, the door was closed with a note taped to it. The note said to check in at the nurses' station so I did. "What's going on with Kristy? Why do I have to check in here first?"

"She's in session with the doctor. You can wait, or you can come back later."

I looked at the time and decided I had to get going so I could run my errands and cook a great meal for my date night with Caity. "I have to run. Can you just make sure she gets this? It's just some books and stuff."

The nurse assured me that she would take care of it. I started a mental checklist of all the things I needed to accomplish before going home. With a sigh, I got in my car and started my errands.

CHAPTER 13

I CHECKED my watch and decided that I had time to make my own bread, so I skipped the bakery and headed home. After unloading the groceries, I washed up and started the bread machine on the dough cycle. I decided to make a pasta salad for dinner to keep it lighter for such a late meal. I boiled the penne and thawed a box of carrots and peas. I chopped up some Monterey Jack cheese, halved grape tomatoes, and some leftover grilled chicken. To this, I added some par boiled broccoli. I made a light dressing with some Italian dressing seasoning, thyme vinegar, olive oil, tarragon, and a little honey to balance the acid. Once everything was mixed together I put it in the refrigerator to cool down and cleaned up the kitchen.

I decided to throw a burger on the grill for my lunch, even though it was close to three in the afternoon. I figured we would eat a late dinner and a late lunch worked out well. While I was grilling, I heard my cell phone ring and ran into the house to grab it. I missed it but it was the station house so I dialed the number while rescuing my burger from the grill. Gina answered and I kidded with her, "What, they only let the probies answer the phones these days?"

She laughed. "Actually, I'm the one that called you just now, so I figured it would be you calling back."

I brought my burger back inside and started putting together a salad to go with it while I talked on the phone. "Well, you got me, so what can I do for you, Probie?" I loved ribbing her about the probie thing as she was a big NCIS fan and the term was used on that show constantly.

"I was wondering, would you have time to talk to me in person in a little while? Please, say no if it is a problem. I know it's your day off, but I'm getting off shift in a few minutes and I wanted to ask you something that I don't want to talk about on the phone or in the station."

Puzzled but, after a check on the dough and the clock, I realized I had a few hours before Caity got home so I told her to come over after her shift, then hung up to enjoy my lunch. I wondered what Gina could possibly have to say that couldn't wait and had to be done in private. Deciding that time would tell, I bit into my burger and pushed everything else from my mind.

* * *

I made a pitcher of lemonade and brought out some ice, a couple of glasses, and some cheese and crackers to the patio. Gina was sitting under the umbrella waiting for me. I decided we should get started. "So, what brings you to my patio, Gina? I suspect you didn't just miss running with me." I gave her a grin, trying to loosen things up a bit since she looked tense.

Gina fidgeted with her lemonade glass and looked everywhere but at me. After waiting for a minute, she finally asked a question. "How well do you know Pauli?"

Well, that wasn't the question I had expected to hear, though with the way life had been going lately, maybe I should have.   

"In what way? I've worked with her for a few years. I've gotten to know her more through her sister. I guess I need to know why you're asking."

Gina blushed. I didn't know she was capable of blushing but I heard a warning bell in my head when I saw it happen. "I guess I was curious about her. You know, what she likes, what she doesn't like. I wanted to get her a get well present but I wasn't sure what to get her."

I looked Gina up and down, trying to make sense of her question. "Why not just get her balloons or flowers. Something simple like that would work."

Gina shook her head. "I don't want to do something that everyone else would do. What else would she like? Does she like any games? Anything special you can think of at all?"

"What's going on, Gina? Get her a plant or something. What's the big deal? I don't get it."

Gina fussed with her glass some more, shifted around in her seat and generally showed no signs of talking.

That's when it hit me. "You have a crush on her! That's it, isn't it?"

Gina turned multiple shades of red but didn't confirm or deny my statement at first. I sat back in my chair, convinced that I had it right. In fact, the longer she took to answer me, the quieter I was as I waited. Finally, after a couple of minutes of blushing out of control, she put her head on the table and hid her face in her arms. I heard a muffled,

"Yes, okay? I admit it. I can't stop thinking about her. Since I heard that she was injured this morning, all I could do was worry about her. God, Donny, what am I going to do? We work together but I can't seem to stop these feelings."

I chuckled, but I had some concerns to address as well. This was not only a potential problem within the unit, but this was, essentially, my sister-in-law that she was interested in dating. I decided to start with the job stuff first and keep things professional.

"Have you thought about the consequences at work, Gina? One of you would have to change houses or, at the very least, schedules. You certainly wouldn't be able to run on a rig together and if you both stay in the same house as medics, you'll end up on opposite shifts. When would you see each other? Right now, you're both together some of the time since you run on the overlap shift. That will have to change."

"No, Donny, don't change anything yet. Nothing has happened. I haven't even told her I have feelings for her. I don't know how she'd react. I don't even know if she's gay! She never talks about a social life. Even though I've dropped hints, she never picked up the conversation. Is she gay? Do you know?"

I gave myself a swift mental kick in the ass and tried to figure out how to deal with this mess. "That is really something you need to talk over with her, Gina. My job description does involve mentoring and helping the medics out with problems, but I don't think the department meant dating advice. The only thing I can say is this, make a move, or get over it. Do not let this interfere with the job or you won't finish probation."

 I watched her face fall and decided I was being too hard on her. I tried a softer approach, "Listen, I think you're one of the best probies I've seen in years. I don't want to see you throw it away on a woman, even if it is my girlfriend's sister. I like you both, and honestly, I think you both deserve happiness and love. Just be aware, it can't affect the job. Go tell her how you feel, but if it happens, and it starts to get serious, I expect you to be honest with me so we can arrange to keep you two apart at work. Okay?"

Gina nodded solemnly, "You got it, Donny! I promise, I don't want to leave the station but I will if it means I get to have Pauli. I have a feeling that she's worth it. I appreciate you taking the time to see me today. I guess I should get going before they end visiting hours."

I grinned at her. "You know, one of the perks of being a medic with the department is the badge. You can use it to get in past visiting hours. Besides, you won't need it for a few hours. Go, good luck, and by the way, I know she likes crossword puzzles."

Gina's whole face lit up, "Thanks, Donny! I'll see you at the station!" She took off for the front of the house and her car. I sat on the patio for a while, thinking about the strangeness of life.

* * *

I was working in the kitchen when I heard the door open and close. I turned to find Caity standing in the doorway with a smile on her face. "Hey, baby, how was work?"

She sauntered over to me, and threw her arms around my neck. "It was pretty good, thanks. How was your day?"

"Well, let's see. I had amazing sex this morning with a gorgeous woman, I found out one of my medics was injured, I went to visit her and found two IA guys bothering her and took care of that mess. Then I find out that someone at work has a major crush on that same medic. Kind of an average day, I guess."

Caity pulled back and looked at me. "Can you repeat that part about IA and the crush? What happened with Pauli and who has the crush on her?"

I started to fill her in on the events of my day. When I got to the part about Gina, Caity's reaction was different than I had expected.

"Now a few things make more sense! I was wondering who she was talking about. For some reason, I thought she meant Tony," said Caity.

"Tony? What about Tony? How does he fit in here?" I was starting to feel like a part of the "who's on first" skit.

"Pauli had mentioned that she might be interested in someone at the station. I warned her about work relationships, but she seemed to feel pretty strongly about it. I assumed it was Tony since I knew they had been hanging out some after work."

I pulled away and led her to the table. I started to get the food out and get dinner underway while we continued to talk.

"Do you mind that Gina seems to have feelings for Pauli? This could make life a little interesting, you know."

She looked like she was thinking about it as she started eating. "This is great, honey, thanks for making dinner. Perfect choice for this time of night." After a few more bites of her food, Caity looked up at me. "Honestly, I think that if Pauli is going to get involved with anyone, Gina might be a good choice for her. Pauli has always been somewhat reclusive. Gina might be able to draw her out of her shell."

I must have looked as shocked as I felt because Caity started laughing at me. "You should see yourself, honey! What? I certainly can't be upset if she dates a woman, can I? What's wrong with Gina?"

"Other than the fact they work from the same station and on overlapping shifts? Honestly? Not much. They are close in age, understand each other's jobs, and probably have a lot in common that I don't know about. I guess I'm just worried about what happens if they do get involved. I would have to split their shifts and then when would they see each other? I don't want to be the cause of a break up before they even have a chance."

Caity sobered quickly. "Baby, is that what you're worried about? That if things don't work out for them, that you will be at fault?"

I turned my head aside, slightly amazed that she could read me so well, and nodded. She continued by asking me, "Are you afraid I'll be upset with you if that happened?"

I nodded again, still not able to look her in the eyes. I was terrified of screwing this up with her, and I knew how close she was with Pauli. I couldn't find a way around changing their schedules or transferring one of them out of the house if they did get together, but I wanted them to have a chance together.

"Baby, you have to do your job, just as they need to figure this out for themselves. I would never, could never, blame you for the success or failure of my sister's relationship. Besides, we don't know for certain that they are going to pursue anything. However, if they do and you need to take action, then do it. No one is going to think less of you for living up to your duty, least of all me. Your sense of fairness and honor are part of why I love you. I'm here with you and I'm not going anywhere."

I looked into her hazel eyes and saw only love and respect. There was no reason to believe anything other than what she told me. "I love you, Caity. I'm sorry, sometimes I just get insecure about us. I don't want to do anything to push you away and I know how close you and Pauli are. You're sure about this? Because I will have to split them apart on the rigs assuming this goes forward."

She nodded. "Baby, it's fine. Do what you need to do, but for now, let's just clean up and go to bed."

* * *

I went with Caity to pick Pauli up from the hospital and wasn't really surprised to find Gina sitting there. We all exchanged greetings before getting down to logistics. "How long do they have you in the sling?" I asked Pauli.

"A few more days, then I'm supposed to start using it again for short periods of time before slinging it again. I have to go to PT for a while too. They said the physical therapy would help prevent a re-injury."

"Okay, so, until further notice, you are staying with us. We'll make sure you can get to your PT session and take it easy with that shoulder. Do you have all your discharge paperwork yet?"

Pauli looked from me to Caity and seemed as if she had something to say. I nodded slightly at Caity, and she asked. "Pauli, what is it? Don't you want to stay with us?"

Pauli started to shrug then grimaced with pain. Gina leaned over and resettled her sling so it would hold her in place a bit tighter. "It isn't that I don't want to stay. I just don't want to get in the way. I mean you two just started living together and no matter how you look at it, Donny is my boss, not just a friend. Won't that be weird for you guys?"

Since I seemed to be her major obstacle and I knew that Caity wanted her sister with us, I decided to step back in to the conversation. "Off shift, I'm just Donny, your sister's girlfriend. Call me Donny or call me Chloe, I don't care. On or off shift, we're family. Members of the department take care of our own and this is no exception. Since you are literally family to my girlfriend as well, having you stay with us is no problem at all for me or anyone else."

She still looked hesitant, so I made a "come-on" gesture. "Well, it is kind of sudden, but Gina and I are starting to see each other. Is it all right for her to come over to see me?"

I chuckled. "Of course, it isn't prison, Pauli. Just realize, I can't let you two run together anymore. It isn't a personal issue, it is just regulations. I'll talk to the Cap about the schedule when you are ready to come back to work. Maybe we can work it out so that one of you moves houses but you both work the same schedule."

Gina turned to me then and spoke for the first time. "You would do that? I'd be happy to move. I mean, I love it there, but Pauli's been there a while. Thanks, Donny!"

Caity spoke up then, "It might actually be best if Pauli moved station houses. With Chloe and I together, it might be awkward anyway. This would remove her from Chloe's chain of command. That way, no one can say she is getting preferred treatment down the road because of me."

Pauli looked at her sister with a lot of respect. "Thanks, Caity. I appreciate that you took the time to think about it. You're right too. I should be the one to change stations. As Donny said, we have time. I won't be going back to work for at least a month. That will give us some time to see if this is going anywhere before we make any decisions."

Gina nodded. "I agree. Who knows? This might not happen, but I couldn't stand by and not try with her. When she got hurt, I realized that not taking the chance to tell her I wanted to date was silly. Which is worse? Taking a chance and failing, or letting it slip past and never knowing? I decided not knowing was the worst choice I could make."

Caity smiled at me and I returned her smile. I knew what she was thinking. If she hadn't taken the chance in that restaurant, would we have gotten together? I didn't know but I did like to think that I would have taken the risk as I had planned that night.

"Enough drama, let's get this patient wannabe out of here. Pauli, do you want to ride with Gina? We can just meet you back at the house if you would like."

She nodded, so I gave her a key and told her we had another errand to run before we went home. We left before she and Gina did so we could just head right to Kristy's room.

When we got to the elevator, I hit the button for Kristy's floor and let out a big sigh.

"That went better than I expected. Should we tell Kristy yet?" I didn't know exactly how to act around her yet. I didn't know if telling her about other people's good news was bad for her recovery.

Caity shook her head. "I don't think so. We still don't know what happened to Kristy, nor do we know when she's getting out of here. Let's see how she is before we decide anything else."

"Okay. I'll let you take the lead on it. Let's go see her and head home to help Pauli."

I knocked on the partially open door, pushing it open the rest of the way when I heard Kristy call out for us to enter.

"Hey there! What's going on? You look pretty happy." I was able to relax when I saw how good Kristy actually looked. Almost as good as the Spike I started running with all those years ago. She was sitting next to the bed working a Sudoko puzzle that she put aside when we came in.

"I feel so much better. I had an amazing couple of sessions with the doc and we figured out some stuff that's been bugging me for years. I never knew I had all of that buried in my head."

Caity went over and sat on the edge of the bed. She patted Kristy's leg, "That's great Kristy! Does that mean you're getting out of here soon?"

"I'm not sure. To be honest, we didn't discuss it yet. I know there is stuff I'm going to have to deal with but at least I'm getting somewhere." She looked over at me. "What's going on at the station? Everything going okay?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, same old same old. Pauli is getting sprung from here today but since Gina was with her, we asked Gina to take her to our place instead of bringing her up here. Other than that, nothing new really."

It felt weird to keep something from her, even something as innocent as Pauli and Gina dating, but since I didn't know what might trigger something, I kept my mouth shut.

"Good to hear. I'm glad you're handling it all so well. I have to talk to you about the station actually."

Caity rose from the bed, preparing to leave. "I'll give you two some privacy. I'll be in the lounge when you're ready, Chloe."

"Sit back down, Caity. It isn't anything you can't hear about, besides, if I know Donny, she'd run back to you and tell her best friend everything anyway." She smirked at me. "Best friend my ass! Have I mentioned lately that it was about time you got off your asses about you two? Enough about that for now, let's talk about the station."

I was unsure of where she was going with this talk so I waited for her to continue.

"I think it is seriously time to think about if I'm going to be able to return to work or not. It isn't fair to leave the station short—"

"I think we've covered it pretty well so far! Besides, what do you mean if you'll return? Of course you'll be back! Being a medic is what you do! Don't you remember all the good saves and the good calls?"

Patiently, Kristy waited me out. When I stopped talking, she continued. "I know you mean well, Donny, but the truth is, I haven't been happy for a long time. I don't know if it's the job or this other stuff, but I don't know if I want to come back. Also, maybe I simply shouldn't come back. There are plenty of things I can do that keep me working as a medic, without being on a rig all the time. I talked to the Cap today. I filled him in on what's been going on with me. I thought it was time that he be brought in on this situation."

"What did he say to you? Is that why you're talking about quitting? I can talk to him and get him to change his mind."

Throughout this exchange, Caity had remained silent but she moved to stand next to me and placed her hand against the small of my back. I felt the heat and comfort of her and tried to relax into it.

"Listen to me, Donny. He didn't do anything or say anything that was less than supportive of me. He offered to keep it quiet, to approve a paid leave for me for a couple of months, and he offered desk duty when I come back."

"Great! So, you'll come back, get promoted or moved to an office spot and still be with us. What is so bad about that?"

I was confused but I hoped for clarity soon. Kristy didn't want to run on the streets, but that didn't mean she had to leave the service, did it?

"I don't think so. I think it might be time to step out of the station house entirely."

I was incredulous at that statement. "What do you mean 'step out?' This isn't like going to the store for some milk, dammit! This is going to impact a lot of lives! How can you just walk out on the people who rely on us?"

"Donny, one thing I've learned. There are always going to be people who need to be saved, some who want it, others who don't. Someone else will have to carry on now, but I will play a role in the future. The Cap is recommending me for a teaching spot at the Academy. I'll teach the new kids how to do it right, including taking care of themselves, so that they can continue the traditions of the department."

I considered that for a moment. She wouldn't really be gone, just in a different part of the service. "So, it isn't retirement or medical retirement? Just a new posting? You aren't giving up?"

Kristy laughed, the first truly free laugh I had ever heard from her. "Give up? Hell no! I'm just adapting to change. Isn't that what we teach the kids? To adapt to the needs of the patient and overcome tough situations. That is all I'm doing here. I'll figure a few more things out here, then go home and get ready to teach."

Caity spoke up then, "By go home, you mean come home with us, right? You know you're welcome to stay as long as you would like."

"I mean I'm going to my home. It is time to start reclaiming my life. I'm not afraid of it anymore. I promise you this much. When I get out, I'll spend a night or two at my place and if it's too much, I'll let you know. Let's plan something now. On the second full evening I'm home, you two come over for dinner and we'll figure it out. If I'm stressed about being there on my own, I'll let you know. Otherwise, I'll make a nice dinner, we'll chat, and you two will go home to your lives and I'll restart my own. Deal?"

I shrugged at Caity and we both replied, "Deal."

CHAPTER 14

GINA LEFT OUR house shortly after we returned which gave us time to spend with Pauli. We got her all set up in the last spare bedroom which doubled as a bit of storage. There really wasn't much in there so it was a good place to put Pauli. After getting her settled, we sat on the patio to enjoy some afternoon sun and conversation, as well as a variety of munchies that Caity put together.

Of course, conversation centered around Pauli's injury at first, but quickly turned to Kristy and her absence from the house. "You didn't tell me that she was gone already, Caity," said Pauli as she helped herself to some chips and salsa.

"Well, for one thing, she isn't exactly gone. She just isn't exactly here either." Caity looked frustrated with her own explanation and tried to clarify. "What I mean is, she will be moving back to her place on a trial basis after she gets out of the hospital."

"What? Why is she in the hospital? She didn't try to hurt herself, did she?"

"No, nothing like that, but there was an incident. She went to the hospital for some help and is doing much better. They did some hypnosis with her, as well as stabilized her medications. She has decided to try living back in her own place when she is released. If that goes well, she will be able to think about working again."

"Well, that sounds like good news overall, right? I mean, she feels confident enough to go home again, that's good news."

Pauli sounded excited by the idea that Spike might return to work. I decided to take on the task of informing her of that change in the game plan.

"Um, yeah, about her coming back to work… she won't be doing what you think. Spike isn't coming back to work at the station."

I could see the confusion in Pauli's eyes and expression. I didn't know how else to say it, so I blurted out, "Spike is dead Pauli. She is never coming back to the station. Kristy is going to teach at the Academy when she is able to resume a work life."

 I could see Pauli blanch at the mention of Spike being dead, so I quickly rephrased it. "I mean that her days as Spike the Wonder Medic are over. She has no intention of running again. She agreed to try teaching as a way of continuing to serve without the daily stress of running and working in the station."

Caity pinned me with her glare, "I cannot believe you said it that way, Chloe! What were you thinking?"

I felt my face flush as I stammered, "I… I didn't mean anything by it. I just wanted to, you know, make a statement about Spike being her street persona. I was trying to say that the street persona is gone, never to return. That's all I meant."

As I explained myself, Pauli relaxed and Caity softened her glare. "I'm sorry, honey, but I think you need to work on your dramatic flair. The way you said it, it is no wonder Pauli went white as a ghost!" She turned her attention to her sister. "We just saw Kristy before coming home and she told us that she wants to go to her place when she gets out. If it doesn't work out, then we'll have her move back in here. I think she's going to be fine though. She seemed to have a good idea of what was going on with her and she is finding a way to deal with it."

"If there is anything I can do, please tell me. I'd like to help but I don't know what to do. I guess this doesn't meet any of our protocols, huh?" She gave me a wry grin.

We have dedicated our lives to helping others, yet when it comes down to one of our own, we were helpless to do anything to help her. "Spike taught so many medics coming through the ranks how to be better at what we do. She has made a difference to so many people that we need to honor that contribution. What do you think about a congratulatory party on getting assigned to the Academy? We can have it at the park or here. I think we could do it at the station too, as long as she's okay with spending a little time there. Maybe we could set it up for a day when she is going back to pick up her stuff and empty her locker?"

Caity gave my hand a quick squeeze. "I think that's a great idea! I can always drive her over to the station to help her carry stuff and you two can have the lounge and kitchen set up for food and drinks. A cake! We need a good cake!"

Pauli started laughing at her sister. "I know, Sis, I know. It isn't a party without cake!" Turning to me, Pauli confided, "Every event in our lives has been accompanied by cake. Caity has always insisted on it."

In an attempt to defend herself, Caity responded. "Hey, can I help it if I know the important role sugar plays in celebrations?"

We all laughed at her and started making plans. Since everything hinged on Kristy's release date, we decided not to say anything to anyone else yet.

* * *

The next week went smoothly. Pauli started to regain minimal use of her shoulder and went to physical therapy three times. Gina spent a few hours over on her days off but she hadn't yet spent the night and I wasn't sure if that was because of Pauli's shoulder, respect or fear of me, or some other reason. Friday was the day of Kristy's release from the hospital so Caity went to pick her up and bring her over for dinner before dropping her off at her own place. Pauli offered to help and she set the table while I cooked.

"What's for dinner anyway? I forgot to ask earlier, do we need bowls or anything special?"

"Salad bowls would be good. I'm making my salad dressing and a salad. I thought we could do stuffed chicken with fingerling potatoes. What do you think?"

"Fine by me! I love your stuffing. I think the thing I'm going to miss most about working with you is your cooking."

I raised an eyebrow as I turned around to face Pauli. "What exactly does that mean?"

Pauli stood her ground, looking me square in the eye as she informed me. "I've decided that I want to go ahead with the transfer. I have strong feelings for Gina, but I'm not going to have her move from the station that will give her the best training. I've decided to apply for transfer to another station. I'll try to get on C shift schedule, same as hers. That way, we'll still have the same hours but not have the problems of being in the same house."

I blew out a breath, letting her news sink in fully. "You're sure about this? So help me, Pauli, if this is a fling I'll—"

She drew closer to me, until there was only about six inches separating us. "You've known me a long time now. Have I ever been the fling type? I never wanted to go through the pain of being discarded after a few weeks or months. After Dad died, I didn't want to put anyone through the loss we went through either."

I remained silent, knowing instinctively that she had more to say. More that she needed to say, not just to me, but to herself as well.

"I've avoided caring about anyone other than Caity for years, Donny. I can't explain it but Gina got in under my radar and has broken through a lot of the barriers I didn't even know I had in place. We're serious about finding out where this can go and I'm serious enough to move my post to do it."

I let a smile slowly play across my face. This was good news as it meant she was letting her heart feel for people again. I knew it was something she had been working on in therapy, she told us about it a few times, but it looked like she was ready. "Pauli, I'll miss you but I'll put the paperwork through tomorrow when I go in. I hope everything works out for you two." I gave her a wink and teased her, "Besides, you need someone like her to keep you in line!"

I ducked the package of napkins she tossed at me before turning towards my dinner preparation. "If you're going to miss my cooking so much, why don't you come help and learn something?"

"Actually, that's a good idea. I was thinking about cooking dinner for Gina once I'm able to use my arm again. Anything I can do to help?"

I looked at her arm, still in the sling and decided to have her do some small things to feel useful. "Why don't you focus on getting me ingredients when I need them? That way I don't have to clutter up the counter right now. Let's make the stuffing first. I already chopped the veggies, can you grab them while I get the pan heated up?"

I put a large skillet on the range and poured in some olive oil once it was good and hot. I added in the diced onion, celery, garlic, and mushrooms, sautéing them until they were translucent. "Can you get me that bag of bread cubes please? And the box of chicken stock in the cabinet?"

"Coming up! No homemade stock today?" teased Pauli.

"Not today wise acre! I didn't have any on hand. Why don't you add the stock while I stir, okay?" She started pouring in the stock in a slow stream as I stirred in the bread cubes. When I had her stop, everything was moist but not overly soft yet. "Grab the herbs I have chopped up please and the honey."

I tossed in the chopped parsley, rosemary, sage, and thyme, topping it with a small squeeze of honey. After mixing it well I set everything aside to cool down and prepped the chicken. I pulled out the innards and set them aside for disposal. I never used them since I have a bias against organs as food. I rinsed it inside and out, patted it dry with paper towels, and then sprinkled it with kosher salt and some white ground pepper. I rubbed butter all over the meat, under the skin, over the skin and inside the cavities.

"What's in that, it doesn't look like normal butter."

"I can't tell you Pauli, it is a long held family secret." It was a family recipe but I was just feeling playful.

"C'mon, dude! You sleep with my sister! How much more like family do I have to get?"

"Ouch! Okay, you're right, you are family." I grinned at her, letting it sink in but not dwelling on the statement for long. "It is a mixture of parsley, sage, lemon juice, honey, and lemon zest. I soften the butter, whip everything together, and let it harden again. Satisfied?"

She shot a grin at me and nodded her head. "Thanks, Sis!"

I shook my head, both pleased and scared that she had accepted me so fully into her sister's life.

"Why don't you wash the potatoes, toss them in some olive oil, and get them into the roasting pan?" I love fingerlings since they cook faster than larger potatoes, have a mixture of varieties, and there isn't any chopping involved. After she put them into the roaster, I added the chicken, which I had stuffed while she worked on the potatoes. I covered the whole pan with some tented foil and slid it into the preheated oven. "Wonderful! Dinner is handled. I'm going to go get cleaned up before Caity gets back here with Kristy. Keep an eye on things for me?"

* * *

I heard the bathroom door creak open while I showered and stuck my head out to see who it was. Caity stood there grinning at me. "Hey, baby, are you joining me or just ogling?" I ducked back into the shower to finish rinsing off.

"Sorry, just here for the show. I wanted to let you know we were here and give them a chance to talk for a few minutes. I think they both need to clear the air."

As I wrung the water from my hair, Caity wrapped a bath sheet around me and kissed my shoulder. I shivered at the touch of her tongue on my skin. Groaning, I twisted in her arms so I could capture her mouth. I loved the taste of her sweet lips, the softness of her tongue as it did battle with mine. I wanted to lose myself inside of her skin for days at a time.

Gasping, she pulled away and out of my arms. "You're dangerous! We can't do this now, not with them downstairs waiting for dinner with us." She wore a mischievous expression on her adorable face, one that spoke of promises for later activities. "You get dressed and join us downstairs. We will finish this later after I run Kristy home and get her settled in."

I sighed, "Promises, promises." As I dried my hair with a second towel I asked, "Why do they need to clear the air? What's going on?"

"Well, you know Pauli feels responsible for Kristy's hospitalization and leaving the station. Kristy apparently feels guilty for letting everyone, especially you and Pauli, down by not coming back to the rigs. I've told them both that this was just the path they were meant to follow but they didn't want to hear it from me."

After I brushed out my auburn hair and pulled it into ponytail, I slipped into a pair of boxer briefs and then some shorts. I scrounged in a drawer for a shirt to put on over my sports bra as I thought about what Caity had just said. "You mean, she thinks we're upset with her? That I'm upset with her for leaving active status? That's nuts!" I blushed as I realized what I had said.

Caity chuckled. "Perhaps not the best way to phrase it, but make sure you let her know you support her choice, okay? I'm going to get down there. Are you coming with me?"

I flashed her my best seductive look. "Not yet but you promised me later."

* * *

We passed the dishes around the table, helping Pauli get her food on her plate since she couldn't use her arm that much yet. The tension I felt when I came downstairs earlier hadn't lessened much so I took matters into my own hands.

"I propose a toast." Caity looked at me strangely but raised her glass when I did. "To Pauli for fighting back and regaining some mobility so soon after her injury. And, to Kristy, for having the courage to face her demons, battle them, and come out the other side stronger than before. Best of luck in your teaching position! Cheers!"

The others had raised their glasses and repeated my "cheers" with a little less enthusiasm but at least it got the conversation started. Pauli looked over at Kristy and asked, "Are you really all right with teaching instead of running?"

Kristy set her glass of sparkling cider down. She put the force of her convictions behind her answer, "I really am. I think it is time to pass the torch and time to take better care of myself. I'm much better than I was but I still have a lot of work to do. It just isn't possible to continue to add injury to my psyche while trying to heal it at the same time."

Slowly, Pauli nodded as she digested the words spoken by her mentor. "Do you blame me? I mean, maybe this wouldn't be happening if I hadn't pushed the issue with you and Donny. I never meant to cost you your career Spi—I mean Kristy."

"If you hadn't spoken when you did, I might have been much worse before I could get better. You did the right thing, kiddo. Honestly, I owe you a debt of gratitude for caring enough to get me some help when I didn't recognize the need for myself. Thank you for that, all three of you." With that, she raised her glass to each of us and took a sip.

Pauli turned a few different shades of red but turned her attention back to her plate. I cleared my throat and asked Kristy what her plans were for the night. "Did you want to crash here tonight and then one of us can run you home tomorrow? You're more than welcome to stay."

"Thanks, but I need to do this tonight. I'll just grab my gear after dinner and head over. I can walk it from here."

Caity shook her head emphatically. "Nonsense. Chloe and Pauli can do the dishes and I'll run you home. No sense lugging your stuff around while you're walking."

Pauli groaned. "That's why you have me here, to do chores."

"Yes, you one armed wonder, that's why we have you here." Caity smirked at her sister with affection.

* * *

I was upstairs in bed reading when I heard the front door close, the quiet steps on the stairs, a soft knock on Pauli's door and whispered murmurs. Finally, our bedroom door opened carefully, but it still creaked. "Damn, we have to remember to WD-40 those hinges," she complained.

"Then I would lose my alarm system," I kidded.

Caity shed her clothes on her way to the bathroom. I heard the water run, and the general sounds of her getting ready for bed routine. I couldn't remember feeling more content in my life and said a quick prayer of thanks to whoever might be listening. The bathroom door opened and Caity came out in her oversized sleep shirt, looking as adorable as ever. Her brown hair shone, her hazel eyes seemed to glow, and she had the most glorious smile on her face.

I pulled back the covers and then tucked them around her as she settled in next to me. "Tired, baby?" I asked.

"Uh-uh."

"Good!" I laid my book on the nightstand and reached for her. As we joined in a kiss, I lost myself in the feel of her tongue and lips merging with mine. I ran my hands through her hair, moaning as I felt her hands cup my breasts. Her thumbs slipped across my nipples, encouraging them to stiffen and swell. She gently lifted my shirt over my head before doing the same with her own. As we came together, skin to skin, I felt the heat emanate from her body and fuel the fire burning in me. I bent my head to kiss my way from her neck to her breasts, skimming her nipples with my thumbs before following with my tongue.

Caity's moan fed my passion for her, hearing her was a major turn on for me. "Oh, yes, baby, that feels so good!"

Her hand found its way down past my waist and ran lightly through my curls. "God yes, Caity! Touch me, please. I'm still hot from earlier." I groaned as her hand ran lightly down one thigh and up the other before brushing across my labia.

"I want you, baby, can I go inside? I need to be inside you," whispered Caity.

All speech seemed to vanish and all I could do was moan and nod. I felt my head snap back as she teased my opening before plunging inside, deeply and quickly. I felt her tweak my clit, my hips bucking as she did.

"Oh no you don't! You don't get to make me come without giving me a chance to taste you," I panted. I pulled her hips around so I could help her straddle my face, inhaling the musky scent of my lover. Gently, I nosed into her wet folds, licking the moisture from her as I eased my way into her center. She readjusted her fingers inside of me, then bent her head to take my clit into her mouth.

The combination of having her inside of me, sucking me, and me tasting her, was enough to set me off. I felt the orgasm coming from deep inside and pulled my mouth away long enough to warn her. "I'm gonna come, baby, come with me!"

I went to work on her clit, sucking and swirling my tongue around and over her. I pushed the hood back over her hard clit and teased the tight bundle of nerves with the tip of my tongue. I felt her stiffen with her approaching orgasm and let myself go over the edge, confident that she would join me.

I groaned her name against her as I continued to come and drink from her. I felt her withdraw from me slowly, and I gave her one last teasing lick, before letting her turn and settle into my arms. As we regained our breath, I heard her ask, "Are you okay, baby?"

Too tired to do more than hug her and whisper, I replied. "I am amazing, you are amazing, and I love you so much, baby."

"I love you too, sweetie, let's get some sleep."

She burrowed into my arms and we slept.

CHAPTER 15

THE SHRILL RING of the telephone woke me at five forty-five , something that did not typically mean good news. Sure enough, I had a medic calling out and I needed to find a replacement or cover the shift myself until I found someone. I eased out of bed in an attempt to let Caity sleep a bit longer, but she was already awake.

"Do you have to go?" she asked.

"Sorry, Jimmy called out. His wife is out of town, and one of his kids is sick so the day care won't take him. He hasn't had any luck finding anyone to watch the kids today. I told him I'd cover until I found another medic."

She sighed but threw off the covers and stood up. "I guess if you're going to work, I might as well get up and have breakfast with you before you leave."

"Baby, you don't have to do that, you're tired. You can go back to sleep."

"I'm fine and I'd rather spend the time with you. Go, grab a shower and I'll get something going for breakfast."

I smiled as I hurried through a shower and geared up for the shift. My uniform was laid out for me when I came out of the bathroom and my gear bag was packed and sitting on the foot of the bed. I dressed quickly, and headed downstairs to Caity and breakfast.

I found her in the kitchen, plating scrambled eggs, toast, and breakfast potatoes. "You're spoiling me, Caity. Thanks for laying out my gear for me. You know you don't have to wait on me like this, right?"

She deposited the food on the table and leaned over me for a kiss. "I like taking care of you sometimes. It isn't going to be an everyday thing, but sometimes I like feeling a bit like June Cleaver."

I chuckled, amazed again at how lucky I was to have this woman in my life. "Thank you, for everything." Shifting gears, and topics, I asked, "What's on your schedule today?"

She shrugged, "Most likely, I'll go back to bed for a little while, then work in the garden. I don't have to work until Monday so I might do some laundry or other stuff around here. How long is your shift?"

I grimaced. "Jim's shift you mean? He's on a twelve-hour today, seven to seven. I'm hoping I find someone interested in some overtime though before ten. I figure I can call Tony in, he's usually up for OT."

"Why not just call him now and let him go in?"

"I don't want to wake him up just yet. He was on until eleven last night. I have a few others I can call if he doesn't want the shift but I want to give him a crack at it first. He's doing more repairs to that rust bucket of his."

Caity chuckled. "This doesn't have anything to do with who your partner will be does it?"

I looked up at her. "Huh?" was my intelligent response.

"Isn't that Gina's shift? Pauli told me last night the Gina had to work until seven tonight."

I shrugged. "I don't remember if Jim was with her or someone else. I'll figure it out when I get there."

"Hmm," was the only response I got.

"Okay fine, I admit it, I want to run with her and find out what is going on with them. I also want a chance to get in touch with the supervisor at the company I'm trying to get Pauli into and he's on today."

Caity took my hand, kissed my palm, and looked into my eyes. I thought I might fall into them and be safe forever, swimming in the love I saw there.

"I thought you were up to something. Thank you for taking such an interest in my sister, Chloe. It means a lot to me. The two of you are the only family I have left."

I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. I just leaned over and kissed her gently. We leaned our heads together for moment, and I was stunned by the intensity of the moment. Caity jumped suddenly as the oven timer went off.

"Drat! I forgot I set it!"

I raised an eyebrow at her and waited.

"I set it so that I knew it was time to get you off to work. You have ten minutes to finish and get going."

I grinned at her then turned to my plate. We finished breakfast, and then I grabbed my gear bag, a water bottle, and a kiss, as I headed out the door.

* * *

"What are you doing here? I thought Jim was on with me today?" asked Gina as I walked into the station.

"He called out and I'm covering until I can get someone else in. You want to drive or ride today?" I tossed my gear bag down and hopped in the back of the rig to check out our gear.

"You can drive for now. I'll take the calls and give you a break from paperwork. Just keep it between the lines!"

I grinned at her reference to my driving demonstration the previous week. I had been the "bad" example that we showed to new emergency driver students. I saluted and tossed my gear on board and secured it. I checked under the hood and made sure everything was fine before heading to the office and looking for people to call in and finish the shift. I decided I would call Tony first, as I had said at home, but there was no answer on his cell or home numbers. I started working down the list of medics when Tony called me back.

"What's up, Donny? Did you call? I just saw the number from the station."

"Yeah, it was me. How do you feel about a little overtime today? Jim was a callout and I really would rather be at home today."

"Sure! I'd love the extra cash! Who am I running with?"

"Gina is here and we've done a total rig check. How long until you can get in?" I was praying he would get in before a call came in.

"Uh, about fifteen minutes? I just got out of the shower so it won't take me long. I'll see you soon!" He hesitated and then continued. "And Donny? Thanks, I appreciate the call."

"No problem, now get in here before tones drop and you'll be my favorite person ever!"

After we hung up, I called home to let Caity know that I would be home soon if Tony got in quickly. I went to the weight room and found Gina in there lifting.

"Hey, Tony is coming in to finish the shift with you. I'm gone as soon as he gets here."

She grunted with the effort of her lifting before she nodded. "Fine with me. He's a good medic."

"Yeah, I think so too. Want a spot?"

"Sure, thanks. I'm only doing fifty per side today." We added the weights to the barbell and she squirmed into position on the bench. "Okay, I have it."

I followed her through each lift, counting for her as she went. When she took a break between sets, I took the chance to ask her some questions. "So, mind if I ask how things are going with you and Pauli?" I didn't want to say anything about Pauli looking to transfer houses in case she hadn't brought it up to Gina yet.

Gina blushed but kept looking at me. "We're doing well. I think she's pretty amazing. No matter what, I'm glad I've taken the time to get to know her better. We're still taking it slowly for now though."

I nodded. "I think you guys are being pretty smart about it, but more importantly, I think you're both great women and you look very happy together."

"I have to say, I thought you would be against it. I know how you are about dating within the house and all. I meant to ask you about that soon. Do you think I could transfer to another house soon? I don't know how Pauli feels about this yet, but I want to take things to another level. I'm serious about her, Donny, and I want to show that to her."

I chuckled, looked at her expression, and laughed even harder. When I could speak again, I told her, "You two are hysterical! She asked me the same thing and I won't lose you both. She has it almost arranged anyway. She's going to transfer to the same shift and schedule as you have now, in the next sector over."

She looked incredulously at me. "When did she do this? Why? This was her station first so I should be the one to leave."

I calmed her down. "It makes more sense to have her transfer actually. She has the seniority to get the shift she wanted, you would have ended up on overnights or swing. I'm living with her sister, which could make it appear that she receives favoritism here. Family shouldn't be in the chain of command if possible. At least not directly linked as we are here. Besides, I need to keep you around to remind me how to drive!"

Laughing, she got back into position for her next set. She didn't speak again until she was setting the bar back in the cleats. "Thanks for telling me, Donny. That helped me figure out a few things."

"Anything you want to share?"

"No, you'll know soon enough, I think."

Just then Tony came in, I heard him going through the lounge. I hollered out to him, "We're in the gym, Tony!"

His head popped around the corner before the rest of him appeared. "Oh hey there! I was wondering where you guys were. Donny, I pulled your gear from the rig and put mine on. You're good to go whenever."

"Thanks, man, I appreciate it. I'm out of here then guys. Stay safe!"

* * *

I was nervous and I couldn't shake it. I fidgeted with the collar of my shirt, shifted in my seat, and kept changing radio stations. Finally, Caity removed my hand from the radio and told me to leave it alone.

"Honey, you are driving me crazy! I'm invoking driver's privilege! No more flipping stations, woman! What's wrong with you?"

I shifted in my seat again and stared out the window. "I'm just nervous. What if her place is a wreck or she's had another episode like before the hospital. What if something has gone wrong and she just didn't call us?" I knew I was running through every bad scenario in my head and that it wasn't likely to be the truth, but I couldn't help myself.

"Baby, I talked to her yesterday and she sounded fine. Better than in a long time really. I am sure everything is good and we'll have fun tonight. Just relax and don't make it seem like you're looking for signs and symptoms. She's your friend, not your patient tonight. Promise me?"

"I promise. I know you're right. I feel like I do when I'm going into a domestic call, jittery from the adrenalin. I don't know what to expect going inside in either case."

Caity, her hair recently cut and styled differently, smiled indulgently at me. I decided to redirect this conversation before I got myself in hot water. "I like the new hair cut. What made you change it?"

"I decided that if I made it kind of shaggy and messy that I could have more time with you instead of styling my hair. Do you really like it? I'm still not sure I do yet."

I ran my fingers through the soft brown strands, like liquid chocolate in my hands. "I really do, baby. It makes you look even younger than you look already." I joked. "Pretty soon people are going to think I'm robbing the cradle."

"Uh huh, you don't look a minute over twenty-eight. Besides, since when do you mind what others think?"

"I don't, not really. At least, not outside of the service. They already know that I've got the hottest partner out there anyway."

She stuck her tongue out at me as she pulled into the driveway at Kristy's place. I brought the dessert, a homemade raspberry tort, and Caity brought in a few things of Kristy's that she found in the laundry. Kristy opened the door as we reached it.

"Come on in! I thought I heard a car. Great haircut, Caity! Chloe, is this the one you made for Doug's retirement party last year?"

I nodded as I handed it over to her. I had to admit, she and her place looked good. Clean and organized, and the furniture had even been rearranged a bit. "I like the changes, it looks good here." I didn't know what else to say or do. I still felt awkward about having a conversation. Now that I knew she was leaving the station, I didn't know if I could talk about it and the people there without upsetting her.

I saw Kristy and Caity exchange a look before she replied. "Thanks, kid, I thought it opened things up a little more. Can I get you something to drink? Nothing with alcohol I'm afraid, but I have soda, juice, sparkling cider, and lemonade."

I grinned, I loved lemonade, and she knew it. "You bet, keep that lemonade coming. I can't drink anyway, I have a shift tomorrow." I clamped my jaws shut, trying to keep the words trapped but failing.

Kristy came over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. She flashed that amazing smile of hers and tried to calm me down. "I know it will be weird. I am still a medic and firefighter though and I will always understand what the job entails and means to you. I'm still in the service, just in the educational side. You can talk to me about it, shifts, people, calls, scheduling, whatever you wish. Nothing has changed between us, Chloe, other than I will be a better friend now since I won't have my head up my ass. I'm able to communicate easier now and express my feelings. I'm still me and you are still you. Don't berate yourself for mentioning work, it is a huge part of who you are and I love that, really I do."

I felt like a giant weight had lifted from my chest as she spoke. I saw the old fire in her eyes, the rate of her voice was faster than it had been, and she was carrying her body differently now. There was more power in her stance, more self-awareness, and it looked good on her.

"Got it. Thanks, Kristy. I've just been a little stressed out about what to say to you. I didn't want to spark anything bad, you know?"

She sighed before she spoke. I could see her face change as she took a second deep breath in and exhaled slowly. "I want to talk to you both about something. I figured out the underlying cause of my stress reactions and other problems I've had. Let's go sit in the living room, okay?"

I sat across from Kristy while Caity sat next to her. "Okay, buddy, what's up?"

"I learned a lot during my time in the hospital, especially from the hypnosis. It helped unlock memories that I've buried for years, since I was a little kid in fact. You know that my dad was a member of the department too, right?"

"Yeah, he was a battalion chief, right?" I remembered hearing about his death in the line of duty while Kristy was in elementary school. He went in to a building to rescue one of his crew and the structure partially collapsed, trapping them inside.

She nodded. "He died in the line, which you know. What I didn't remember was that he had a substance abuse problem and he was an abuser." She took a shuddering breath, and I saw tears start to trail silently down her cheeks. "There's more though. He used to beat my mom and me when he was high. He raped me. My own father raped me, and it happened often for about two years. Until he died."

Kristy started crying with more force, and Caity put her arms around her for support. I sat there with my mouth hanging open, unsure of what to say or how to react. I hadn't imagined anything like this had happened. I had figured it was too much stress on the job or something similar.

Caity held and rocked her. "You're safe now, Kristy. We're here for you now."

I still didn't know what to do but I couldn't just sit there like a lump. "Uh, yeah, I mean, he was messed up, ya know? You were just a kid."

I felt my anger grow as I watched this strong woman crumble beneath the memories of the abuse she suffered as a child. I got up and started pacing but I had nowhere to go and no one on whom I could take out my anger. I felt like I might explode with the anger welling up inside of me. How could someone do that to their own daughter? How could a member of the service, sworn to protect life, violate it so badly? I searched for answers and found none.

I pulled myself together for Kristy's sake, knowing I could freak out later at home. Somehow, we made it through dinner and hung out long enough to make sure that Kristy was really doing well enough on her own. After promising to call the next day, we left and headed home. As I drove away, I felt the anger rising up inside of me again.

I pulled off the road into a little turnout and stepped out of the car. Caity followed but hung back while I paced. "I can't believe all that stuff she told us! How could anyone treat a kid that way? How could one of us, sworn to protect life, do that to his own daughter? I don't get it, Caity! I see stuff like this everyday but I still can't understand it!" I kept pacing, kicking at the stones on the ground as a way to release some of my anger.

Caity came up next to me and spoke softly. "Sweetie, I know it is really hard to do what you do. No one should see the things you guys deal with every day. Maybe that warped him. The drugs certainly warped his perceptions of right and wrong."

"I just don't know how to help her through this. All I want to do is slug someone and the only person I want to hit is already dead! Hell, he was probably ripped when he went into that fire! battalion chiefs never make entry."

I felt gentle hands resting on my shoulders from behind me and I leaned into her warmth. "The only thing we can do is listen when she needs to talk and treat her as normally as possible. I have to admit, it was hard for me to sit there and not get angry, but our anger doesn't help her fight her fears of relationships."

"So, you think this is why she's never really dated? This thing with her father?"

"It makes sense. I can see why she would have trust issues and anger issues, especially revolving around men." She let me rest against her for another minute then gently kissed the back of my neck. "Let's go home, baby. We can keep talking there or we can let it drop until you are ready."

I nodded and let her lead me back to the car. I didn't fight her when she took the keys from me and guided me to the passenger side. We drove home in silence with me clutching Caity's hand the entire trip.

* * *

I went to bed as soon as we got home and listened to Caity's voice as I heard her murmuring with Pauli. As I lay on my back, I watched the shadows play across the ceiling, seeing images in them like cloud watching on a sunny day. Except these were not lighthearted and fun images, these were pictures of terror I saw. Monsters lurking in shadows and children cowering in fear with no one to protect them. I tossed and turned, trying to block the images racing through my mind.

I heard the door open and felt the bed sink slightly as Caity sat on the edge. She ran her hand over my shoulder and down my arm in a soothing way while she waited for me to speak. "I don't get it, how did she forget all that stuff and suddenly remember it after all this time? Why now?"

Caity sighed and stretched out on the bed, pulling me against her body. "I don't know, baby, I just don't know. I understand that she blocked the memories of her father's abuse, but I don't know why it triggered now. Maybe it had to do with her experiences in the field. Perhaps her psyche simply had all it could take and it had to come out or destroy her."

I snuggled into Caity's arms and let myself relax in the safety of her love. I was still upset about what Kristy had gone through but there was nothing we could do to change the past. We didn't have anyone in the here and now to go after, all we had was the chance to try to help Kristy regain her life. That would be enough.

* * *

"Hey, Pauli, what are you doing?"

"Time for me to move back to my place, Donny. My shoulder is much better and frankly, as much as I like you and love my sister, you two are disgustingly sweet together. I don't want to go on insulin, so it's time." She gave me a grin but I knew she was right. There were times that Caity and I forgot she was around.

"You know you're welcome here though, right? I don't want to come between you and your sister."

"Yeah well, honestly, I'd like some privacy of my own these days. Things are going really well with Gina and I'd like to spend more time with her. It's kind of hard with my big sister and our boss underfoot."

"Oh yeah, speaking of that boss thing. I'm not your boss anymore, you report to Station 12 starting with your medical release to work date. You'll be on the same shift and the same rotation schedule as Gina. You got lucky that some guy there wanted to get back on nights so he could go back to college."

Pauli punched the air with her fist and gave a little shout. "Awesome! That is some of the best news you could have given me! I can't wait to tell Gina." With that, she pulled out her cell phone and started dialing.

"You staying for dinner or should I just let Caity know you're gone?"

"I already called her, I'll come over for dinner next week For now I'm heading out. And, Donny, thanks for everything."

I blushed. "No problem kid, just get healthy fast."

I looked around the house, amazed at how empty it seemed suddenly with just me home. Caity was at work, our guests were gone, and I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I decided a nap was in order and headed upstairs.

CHAPTER 16

IT TOOK ABOUT a week, but life was starting to settle down again. We had another new medic at the station to fill Pauli's spot. We got lucky and they sent someone with some experience as a medic who had relocated for her family.

Bran Weber was a thirty-six-year-old from Chicago who moved to the area to care for her aging parents. She had a muscular build, swimmer's shoulders, and a head of wavy black hair, with a touch of grey starting to show through. Her light blue eyes looked almost grey at times, especially when troubled by her patient's condition. I didn't know much else about her, but as her supervisor, I was about to learn more. I had a twelve-hour shift with her and I was curious to see how it would go. It was the first time I was riding with her as a partner instead of as a third.

I arrived at the station a little early and decided to get the rig checked out. I walked in, tossed my gear bag down, and stopped. "What are you doing here already?" I asked Bran.

She shrugged. "Couldn't sleep so I decided to come in a little early. I made some fresh coffee too," she said as she handed me a mug.

"Thanks! You know you don't have to cater to me, right?" I wasn't sure if she was telling the truth about not being able to sleep or if she was attempting to suck up to me. I hated suck ups but she didn't really strike me as the type. Maybe she thought it was the way up the ladder faster than normal. On the other hand, I also didn't want her nervous about running with me.

She gave me a puzzled look at first, then comprehension swept across her face. "Donny, I'm able to tell you this only because you are my supervisor. Been there, done that, and I don't want to move up again. I have way too much going on in my life to take on that task. I haven't let it get out that I was a captain in Chicago. I don't want anyone to think I'm stepping on toes or trying to be the boss. Are we cool?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Look, I didn't mean to imply that you were trying to get my job… I just didn't want you thinking I want you to do all the work as the new person here either. You were a captain? Really? And you left?"

"I had my reasons. One of which was taking care of my folks. My brother couldn't move back and they wouldn't move from their home. I didn't want some stranger helping them out, so I decided it was time to move back here." I saw a sad smile cross her face then leave as quickly as it came. "Being a captain wasn't all it was cracked up to be for me either.  I didn't get much field time and I was buried in politics and paperwork. I love being back in the field, treating real people, not tending to politicians' egos."

I laughed. I had heard that complaint from more than one captain or higher during my service. "Got it. Leave you in the field to keep you happy. Hell, if that's all it takes, you'll be ecstatic around here."

I pushed off from the side of the rig I had been leaning against, tossed in my turnout gear, and turned around to look at Bran. "Wanna grab breakfast? I'm going to see if the other morning crew wants to go out."

"Sure thing, you round them up, I'll put the mugs in the kitchen. Meet you back here in five."

Whistling, I headed into the lounge to grab the other crew. I found Gina and Tony lying on the floor, reading the paper. "What's this? A sudden interest in current events? Something happen of interest?"

Tony groaned and rolled onto his back to look up at me. "Mornin' Donny. Gina here needs to find a new place to live. She just found out her apartment building is going condo."

Gina grimaced. "I not only can't afford the rates they want, but I don't really want to buy an apartment. Why would I buy walls that aren't really mine? I'd still have a million fees, rules, and regulations, for what? The same place I have now? Doesn't make sense to buy it." She sighed. "So, now I have to find a place to live, and Tony was kind enough to help me look."

Sensing the sarcasm with her emphasis on the word "kind," I suspected some arm-twisting and bargaining had gone on before I arrived. "Well, if you can leave your invigorating hunt for housing behind, we're going to grab some breakfast. Interested?"

Tony jumped to his feet and practically ran me over to get out to their rig. With a sigh of exasperation, Gina got to her feet, kicked the newspapers scattered across the floor, and trudged behind him. I chuckled to myself and followed them both to the bay.

I decided to let Bran drive. I still believe that there is no better way to learn the area than to drive it for a week or two. Besides, I knew her medic skills were top notch, so I didn't have to worry about her getting the time in the back.  "To breakfast, driver, and step on it!" I joked as Bran climbed behind the wheel.

She flashed a bemused look in my direction as she started the engine and gently eased us out into the sunlight. I gave her directions to the diner and relaxed back into my seat, ready for breakfast and some fellowship. The steady hum of the big diesel engine, along with the steady background chatter on the county radio, was lulling me to sleep. As we pulled into the diner's parking lot, I was awakened by the sound of the engine shifting into reverse and the back up siren beeping out its warning.

As Bran shut down the engine, she cleared her throat and looked over at me. "Hey, Donny? Can we keep that talk earlier between us please? I don't want other people thinking things because I was a captain and now I'm a front-line crewperson again. You know how the rumors get."

"No problem. I won't say anything to anyone. Does the Cap know though? He might be upset if he finds out later."

"Yeah, he knows and agreed to keep it quiet. He was the one that suggested I fill you in. I just want to do my time and go home, ya know?"

"Got it, no worries Bran. We all have a right to make our career calls." I switched gears then, "Ready to get some food? I'm starving."

"Let's go!"

* * *

Tones dropped just as we finished our breakfast. Tossing some money on the table, Bran and I hurried out to the rig. "County, medic two two three, responding Fourteen South Tenth Street."

"Medic two two three, your patient is a forty-five-year-old male with chest pain and difficulty breathing. No known history of cardiac events."

"County, copy that."

I started reviewing advanced cardiac life support protocols in my head, the steps I would follow in the event that this was a cardiac issue. We pulled up to the scene three minutes later and saw that a patrol car was already on location.

"County, medic two two three is on location."

Bran and I got out, grabbed our gear and headed into the residence. The front door was open but I knocked on the doorframe just to be safe.

"Ambulance! Did someone call for help?"

A voice called from upstairs, "We're up here. Second door on the left!"

Shouldering our gear, we headed upstairs to find out what was going on. When we found the room, the scene before me was unexpected. An elderly woman was leaning over the male patient yelling at him.

"Stop faking this, Harold! It isn't funny! I told you to stop eating that chili stuff!" She was shrieking and crying.

The officer on scene looked up at us with a grimace. He had set up an oxygen mask but had yet to apply it. It looked as if he simply couldn't get close enough to the patient without encountering the elderly woman.

I motioned to Bran to maneuver the older woman away from the patient. She approached slowly and was able to distract her by asking for a list of medications and other pertinent data we would need. I knelt down next to the patient, who was propped up against his headboard on the bed.

"Harold, I'm Donny, can you tell me what happened?" I was taking his pressure and pulse as I spoke to him. His skin was pale and diaphoretic, his breathing labored and shallow, and his pulse was racing.

"I don't know. I was getting ready for breakfast when I felt like something hit me in the chest. I can't breathe right either."

"Harold, I'm going to have the officer put this mask on your face. It will help you breathe better and make sure you get enough oxygen while I check you out, okay?"

He nodded and the officer did as I asked, turning up the oxygen to high flow and putting the canister on the bed next to the patient. I put my monitor leads on the patient and watched the rhythm come to life on the screen. I ran a quick tape, looked it over, then decided to start a line and get moving. I didn't like the look of the complexes I saw on the tape and decided he needed definitive care rapidly.

"Harold, I'm going to start an IV so that we can give you some medication." He nodded at me, but remained focused on his breathing. I got the line in, started a run of saline, and decided to give him a dose of nitroglycerin spray to help lower his high blood pressure and hopefully ease some of his pain.

"Bran, can you get the litter set up at the bottom of the stairs and bring up the stair chair please? I want to get rolling here."

"Got it!"

Bran arrived with the chair, a contraption much like a regular folding chair with the addition of handles at the feet and at the back by the head, wheels on the rear legs, and straps to help keep patients safely in place. We transferred the patient to the chair, strapped him in, and prepared to move him.

"Harold, I need you to hold this tank on your lap. No matter what happens, do not reach for the railing or let go of that tank. Got it?"

He nodded.

I looked over his head at Bran and nodded. On a soft count of three, I tilted the chair back towards myself and used the wheels to maneuver it to the top step. At the top of the steps, Bran took her position two-steps down and grabbed the chair's lower handles. The cop stood behind Bran, guiding her down backwards as we lifted and carried Harold down the staircase.

At the bottom, we set the chair down and transferred Harold to the litter. After loading the patient and our gear, we headed towards the closest hospital. I called report in while monitoring Harold.

"ER, this is medic two two three. We're inbound with a forty-five-year-old caucasian male. Initial complaint of chest pain and difficulty breathing. After initial vitals and a review of monitor, one dose of nitro was administered sublingual, high flow O₂ by non-rebreather. Patient reported pain reduction from an eight to a four with nitro. We have IV access on TKO, no cardiac history, no medications, no allergies, ETA to ramp three minutes."

"Medic two two three, ER, we copy your report, keep monitoring and see you in three."

We typically didn't give specific data on patients who were awake so that we didn't worry them. There was an abnormality in Harold's EKG but telling him about it now wouldn't do him any good. It was a judgment call, but the SOP in our department dictated that we do the best we could to limit traumatic information to patients outside of the hospital setting. The ER would get the rest of the report when we arrived.

After we moved the patient to a cubicle, I gave report and transferred care to the ER. I was grateful to head back to the station after that call and get some paperwork done.

* * *

I heard a knock on the door of the office and I groaned at yet another interruption. "Come!"

I changed my mind and smiled when Kristy walked in carrying a cardboard box. "Hey, buddy! What are you doing here?"

"I just came to get my stuff out of your way. I figured I could un-clutter part of your clutter." She tossed a box onto the floor and sat down in one of the extra chairs. "How's business?"

I sighed heavily. "Too damn busy as always. I need another medic who can do some paperwork! Or at least, another medic in the rotation so I can get more office hours to handle the paperwork. I don't know how you did all this before I was promoted!"

Kristy rolled her eyes at me. "Drama queen! It isn't that bad, is it? Besides it increased slowly for me as we grew busier over time. You had to leap right into it. What did the captain say about more help?"

I shrugged. "He doesn't have anyone senior enough that he wants to promote up yet but he's trying to get me another medic for now. It means I'll spend less time on the street but maybe that will be a good thing."

Kristy didn't say anything. She just raised her eyebrows at me. I knew what she was thinking and she was right. "Yeah, I know, I'm going to hate less time on the streets to do more paperwork. But I can schedule myself for a full day of office time and then maybe another half-day. At least I'll have some steady, normal hours I can count on."

Kristy still didn't look like she believed me. "I'm really sorry if my leaving is screwing with your schedule. I figured they would find another person to promote or transfer in here for you."

I shrugged. "They actually did send someone who could be a help with the paperwork. Problem is, she is here to avoid it instead of taking on that kind of responsibility again."

"I'm not following you. You have a senior medic who is promotable, but she doesn't want it?"

"Yup! She's here to take care of her folks. She has officer experience. Hell, she was a captain back in Chicago. She said she doesn't miss the hassles and I can't say I blame her. Taking care of two elderly parents has to be a lot of work and stress. Why add to it if there is no need?"

"Makes sense, I suppose. I can respect a choice like that and her need to stick by her folks. Sounds like a good person and a good crew addition."

"Yeah, she's got a lot of knowledge and really good hands."

"At least you have someone to work with the junior medics in the field. Want to help me carry my crap out?"

"Yeah, might as well. I'm about done here anyway. I need to get home."

"Great, you finish your stuff, I'll load my little box, and we can head out."

I finished putting away my files and clearing the desk while Kristy pulled together the mementos of her service in the station. When we were done, we each had a box to carry out to her car. "When did you get so much crap?" I teased her.

Her eyes twinkled. "I did practically live here since the stone age, what did you expect? Besides it wouldn't have been this much if it weren't for that extra turnout gear I had in the office. I forgot about it."

I teased her some more as we walked through the bay, stopping when a rig started backing in. We stood out of the way so the driver could get a good line of sight on the guideline painted on the floor. As the rig shut down, a crewmember jumped out of the rear of the rig. It was Bran.

"What are you doing on a rig? I thought you left an hour ago?" I knew she had since she stuck her head in the office before leaving.

She grinned. "Yeah, but a good call came in as the other crew was still checking in gear. I decided to ride along just in case."

I shook my head. "Whack job! You didn't get enough today? Oh hey, let me introduce you to our newest instructor at the Academy, this is Kristy. Kristy this is—"

"Bran? Is that really you?" Kristy was looking at her as if she had seen a ghost.

"Hey, Kris, yeah, it's me. Congratulations on the Academy gig."

"When did you get back? Why the hell didn't you call me?"

I took a step back. "I take it you two know each other?"

Kristy still stood with her box cradled in her arms, her head slowly moving from side to side. "I can't believe you're here, Bran." She dropped her box suddenly and glued herself to Bran in a full body hug.

I started feeling very uncomfortable and I didn't have anyone to stick with since the rest of the crew had headed for the kitchen as soon as they got out of the rig.

I tried again, "So, how do you two know each other?"

Kristy pulled herself away but I noticed she kept a hand on Bran's arm. "We met in college. In fact, we were just down the hall from each other for two years in the dorm. Our last two years of school, we shared a house with two other girls. We went to the fire academy together too."

I was a little confused. "Bran, I didn't know you were a graduate from our Academy! Why'd you leave the system for Chicago?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, "For a girl, why else?"

* * *

"Bran, get over there and take the second car. I've got two in this one." I gained access, black tagged the driver, and started caring for the passenger. I pulled an EMT over to take C-spine while I completed a trauma assessment and started a line. As soon as the rescue crew popped the door, we extricated the patient onto a backboard and got ready to roll. I looked over to the second car and saw that Bran and her crew had just finished securing two patients to backboards. They also looked ready to transport.

A voice interrupted my train of thought. "Any questions for the crew or patients?" Kristy turned towards the ring of fire academy paramedic students, looking for raised hands. Kristy nodded at the first hand that went up.

A guy stood up. "How did you know to black tag the driver?"

I thought about how to respond as the students knew that the patient had a pulse when we got to him. "This scene was designed as a small look inside a larger incident. In such a case we would triage and work the salvageable cases first. The driver had extensive injuries, almost no pulse or respirations, and was elderly. Therefore, he met the criteria for a black tag. If time allowed and resources were available, we would have worked him, and he probably still would have died. Does that answer your question?"

He shook his head. "No, I mean, in the scenario, how did you know his vitals and stuff for the scenario?"

I chuckled, realizing what he was asking. "We pin notes to the victims in scenarios to give vitals and other important data. The other option is having the patient or an instructor standing by to give that data as it is discovered or asked for by the participating crew."

He thanked me and sat down. We took a few more questions before Kristy dismissed the class for the afternoon. She came over to us as Bran and I continued to stow gear. "Great job, guys, thanks for helping out." She clapped a hand on each of our shoulders and continued. "Who's up for dinner? I'm buying!"

"Sure, do I have time to ditch the turnout gear or are you too hungry?" queried Bran.

I groaned. "No can do, I have a mountain of work waiting for me at the station. Bran, you go ahead, I'll take the rig back, and Kristy can drop you off for your car later."

"Thanks, Donny, I'll bring her home nice and safe." Kristy gave me a wink and a smile as Bran shed her gear, and I loaded it into the rig for her.

I silently marveled at the changes in Kristy over the past two months of teaching at the academy. She had started going out socially again, her sense of humor was certainly back, and she seemed to be more comfortable in her own skin. All of which was good of course, but some things she was still keeping quiet about and it confused me.

I thought about things as I drove back to the station and unloaded the extra gear we had used. After setting things back to standards in the rig, I headed for my office. As I opened my door, I saw a shadow behind the frosted glass window.

"Hey, honey. How was the training class?" Caity moved closer to me and threw her arms around my neck.

Surprised but delighted, I wrapped her up in a hug and gave her a kiss. "It went well. Kristy is a good instructor. Bran and I have been able to get into a good groove and hardly need to talk during a rescue anymore. It's a good feeling. I haven't had that communication with anyone other than Spi— I mean Kristy."

She gave me another quick hug before leaning back on the edge of my desk. "I'm glad you have a good partner to run with at least. It makes it easier knowing she has your back. So it has been a month or so of you two being pretty regular partners. When is she coming to dinner?"

I flopped into a chair and rubbed my face with my hands. "I hadn't planned on anything, but sure we can have her over. Let me know your schedule and I'll work it out. Does this mean you're cooking?"

"Brat! Now, are you coming home with me or are you staying here?"

"I'm sorry, baby. I should stay a little longer and do some paperwork. Do you mind?"

"Tell you what, make it up to me when you get home and you're off the hook. Two hours, no more, and you come home. Deal?"

I grinned. "You're the best, thanks, baby. I'll leave in two hours, I promise!"

* * *

Exactly one hour and forty-five minutes after Caity left the station, I was unlocking my car. I had ordered flowers for Caity and had to pick them up on my way home. I made it just before the shop closed, paid for the flowers, and was on my way in plenty of time. When I arrived at home, I was surprised to see that the house was dark. I didn't see Caity's car in the driveway but I thought that she might have pulled it into the garage. I grabbed the flowers from the back seat and unlocked the front door. The strangest feeling crept over me and I decided to slip off my boots and leave the flowers on the table in the hall. I carefully looked through the downstairs, showing no sign of Caity anywhere.

Now, I was starting to get worried. I pulled my telephone out just in case, and slipped it to vibrate mode. I skipped the step that always let out a creak, easing my way up the staircase. I looked in the various rooms on my way back towards our bedroom. Still, no sign of Caity, no noises, and I was starting to feel foolish. She must have been caught running some errand for dinner and I was earlier than she expected. Yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was someone in the house.

I took a deep breath before opening the door to the master bedroom. Inside the door, I stopped and stood, immobilized with shock. All around me were candles, lit and casting a gentle glow. The CD player had a soft, soothing song playing, and the bed had been turned down with a figure reclining on the pillows. I took another look and felt the pain stab through me as well as flames of anger.

CHAPTER 17

IT WAS KAREN. I didn't know what to do first, throw her out or ask her how the hell she got inside my house. Before I could wrap my mind around any words at all, she spoke.

"Did you miss me, baby? Are you surprised?" She smiled in what I had once considered a seductive manner. Now, I found that it made me slightly nauseated.

"Disturbed is more like it! How did you get in here, Karen? Do you realize you are guilty of breaking and entering, not to mention trespassing?" I could feel my blood starting to boil as I struggled to keep a handle on my rage. I flicked on the light switch by the door, bathing the room in light.

"Honey! Aren't you glad to see me? I thought you would have missed me?" Karen leaned back against the pillows as I made a mental note to throw them out.

"I'm not your 'honey' and no, I'm not glad to see you," I growled at her.

"Why, Chloe, I swear I have no idea why you're so upset! I just wanted to surprise you. I'm thinking of moving back in to the area and I thought we could work things out."

"What's the matter, Karen? Someone dump you? You can't come running back here after all this time and expect me to be waiting for you." I knew I was acting like a bitch but she deserved no better from me. "Besides, we weren't working remember? You told me you weren't happy with me and I still remember you in bed with that guy! Did you think I would have forgotten that?"

She rose up from the bed, confusion written all over her face. "I can't believe you're being so hateful! After all we shared?"

I shouted, "I'm sorry, do you not remember arranging for a new job and moving across the country and telling me about it less than a week before you left? I know I wasn't a perfect partner, but I deserved better than that."

I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. "You walked out without a word or hint that you were upset until I found the two of you together. You took what you wanted, left no forwarding address, and I haven't heard from you in over four years. You made your choice long ago, and I wasn't what you chose."

Karen lowered her head and had the decency to look embarrassed. In a quiet voice she replied, "You're right. I know you're right. You didn't deserve what I did to you back then. I was pretty messed up by not being able to have a baby. I thought leaving was the answer but the problems followed me. I went into therapy and learned a lot of things, Chloe. One of which was that I regretted the way I acted and the way I treated you. Is there any way you could forgive me? Could we try again?"

"I'm glad you got the help you needed, Karen. But there is no way we are going to try again. I have someone very special in my life now, someone I love with all of me. I wish you luck in the future but it won't be here or with me. Now, I need to ask you to leave and not come back."

She pulled on the clothes she had left on the floor, her eyes never leaving my face. She looked sad and part of me, a small part, still wanted to go over and put my arms around her to make her feel better. Thankfully, the majority of me was smart enough to stay in the doorway. Karen blew out the candles as she made her way towards the door and I backed into the hallway.

"I'm sorry, Chloe, I really am sorry. I made a lot of mistakes and this one cost me more than you know." We walked down the staircase and headed for the door. She turned to me, a quiver in her lips and tears in her eyes. "I'm glad you're doing so well. I'm glad you're happy too. I'm just sorry I blew my chance with you. Can you ever forgive me for the way I acted?"

I blew out a breath and examined my feelings. I was amazed, but the truth was, I no longer harbored any real anger or hurt in connection with Karen. "Karen, you are forgiven. We both made mistakes and we just didn't fit each other well. I think we both learned things that will help us but you need to accept that our time is over."

She offered a shy smile. "Thanks, Chloe. I'm sorry for barging in, and for assuming that you weren't already taken. I thought if I just tried, it would work this time. I'll leave you to your new life. Be safe and be happy."

She threw her arms around me for a hug that happened so quickly I didn't have time to react. She left quickly and I watched her get into a car I hadn't recognized across the street. I closed the door, and leaned against it for a moment, taking time to ground and center myself after the shock of the afternoon. Once that was done, I headed upstairs to change the sheets and discard the pillows. It may have been overkill, but I knew I would feel better with all traces of Karen gone from our bedroom.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" I heard Caity call as I tossed the sheets in the dryer in the basement. About damn time, since you made me promise to leave work to get home, I thought. I realized that I was just grumpy from dealing with Karen so I let it drop. I tromped up the steps to see Caity and find out where she had been for so long.

When I got upstairs I was greeted by a bouquet of flowers, my favorite flowers in fact, tiger lilies. "Thanks! Were we sharing a brain today? I got you flowers too. They're on the dining room table."

She chuckled as she shed her coat and dropped a few bags on the floor. "Must have been. I saw those and I decided you needed them. You've been working so hard and you never reward yourself."

I didn't really know what to say to that, so I said nothing. I knew she was right. I worked overtime and socked the money away. The whole reason I bought so large a house, other than hoping for a family at some point, was that it was a good investment.

I decided to take care of filling her in about Karen instead, so that we could deal with it right away. Besides, I needed to talk to her about it and see what she thought. Lover or not, she was still my best friend and that was who I needed right then.

I followed her to the kitchen so I could put the lilies in water while she checked out her flowers in the dining room. She thanked me profusely for remembering her favorite flowers and then pulled back a bit. "What's wrong, Chloe?"

Slightly startled I asked, "Why do you think something's wrong?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just know that something is wrong. It's like your whole body feels different when you have something on your mind that you don't like."

"Damn, you're good woman! Tell you what, let's order a pizza, I'm feeling like some junk food. Do you want to order or get the wine?"

"I'll order, you're better at picking wine out. Just make it a red… a Chianti or merlot would be nice. Any topping requests?"

"Nope. You know what I like and don't like. I'll meet you in the living room with the wine."

I went back downstairs to our small wine collection. We had recently gone to a few wine tastings, and a few local vineyards, and made some purchases of things we liked. We didn't know much about wine other than what we enjoyed drinking, but it was always a fun day out and we always had something on hand too. I decided on a nice Chianti we had picked and had both enjoyed.

Upstairs again, I took a couple of wine glasses and the corkscrew to the living room where Caity already sat waiting for me. I opened the wine and felt the weight of Caity's eyes on me as I delayed our talk. Finally, I had no other stall tactics. I decided on the direct approach after I took a fortifying sip of the wine. "Karen was here today." I cringed slightly, waiting for the reaction I assumed was coming.

Silence. Not a sound, not a peep, nothing.

"I said, Karen was here today. In our home."

No reaction. None at all. I wasn't certain but I was pretty sure she was able to hear me.

"Are you going to say anything?"

She shifted on the couch, looked over at me, and said nothing. I couldn't figure out what she was thinking. Her expression was blank, her eyes said nothing to me for the first time that I could remember.

"Caity! Don't you want to know why she was here?"

"I know why she was here. She came to ask you to give her another chance." There was no trace of my Caity in her voice, just a flat monotone.

I was confused and astounded. "Are you psychic? How did you know that?"

Caity looked at me with the first expression she had shown since we sat down. "How do you think she got in the house? Why do you think I wasn't here when I said I would make dinner?"

"Why would you let her in, never mind leave her here alone? I don't understand, Caity. Are you mad at me?"

She drained her wine glass and poured more wine. "Just tell me what you have to tell me."

I was struggling to figure out why she was suddenly acting this way. I really must have part of my brain turned off. "Uh, well, when I came in the house, it was dark… I didn't know where you were so I looked around cause something felt wrong. I finally found her in our bedroom. She was trying to seduce me, Caity, but I told her the truth, I am over her. I am in love with you, and I asked her to leave."

"You did? You weren't tempted? I know how much she hurt you, which means you had to have a lot of feelings for her."

I struggled, but I finally understood. Caity was worried that I was trying to end things with her! I rushed to make her understand. "Baby, it is you and only you I want! Whatever she and I shared is ancient history. I did tell her how much it had hurt, why I wouldn't want her back even if I was single, and I walked her to the door. That was it."

Finally, a wan smile broke out across her features. "So, nothing happened?"

"Well, not nothing, I was able to realize that I had let go of all that pain and baggage from my past. I forgave her and wished her well. She apologized and wished us well, then she gave me a quick hug and left. I made it clear that I was only interested in one woman and she wasn't the one."

Tears started trailing down Caity's face. It almost broke my heart to know she had doubted us, doubted me and my commitment to her. I gathered her in my arms and held her tightly. "Baby, don't ever question my love for you. You are it for me, my other half, my soul mate. You are who I have searched for my whole life. There is no one else who holds any interest for me, only you can love me the way I want to be loved. Only you let me love you the way I need to love someone."

I felt tears welling in my own eyes and didn't even try to fight them. I felt Caity brushing them away with her thumbs. "I'm sorry for doubting us, Chloe. I guess I wonder if I'm enough for you sometimes. If I'm exciting enough."

"Caity, look at me." I waited for her eyes to lock with mine and I saw the pain there as well as the doubts. "You are the most interesting and exciting woman in the world to me. You are my best friend as well as my lover. I'm so sorry I gave you room to doubt that. I want to make sure you know how important you are to me. How important we are to me."

I leaned in and gave her a kiss that I hoped would show her the depth of my feelings. As I started to deepen the kiss, the doorbell rang. We broke apart laughing. I went to the door and Caity went to grab plates. We met back in the living room and the mood of the room seemed lighter somehow.

I looked over at her. "Are we okay Caity?"

She gave me a brilliant smile. "Yeah, we're just great. I'm sorry I melted down. I'm sorry I left her here for you to find like that too. I didn't think she'd be brazen enough to wait for you in bed. By the way, we need to change the sheets and burn the pillows."

I looked up and saw that she was serious. "I already changed the sheets. They are in the dryer now. The pillows are in the donation bag since they are fairly new. I used the extra pillows to make up our bed and decided we could buy new ones this week."

Smiling, she agreed. "Let's donate the sheets as well." I laughed and agreed. Caity finally looked relaxed as she announced, "Let's eat! Suddenly, I'm starving!"

* * *

About a week after Karen's impromptu visit, the doorbell rang. We were both home but I offered to get it so I could get out of folding laundry. Pauli was at the door looking uncomfortable. "What's up? Come on in." I stepped back to let her in but she stood on the doorstep. "Dude, come in, I'll get Caity for you." She still stood there, not saying anything.

"I don't know what's wrong, but we can't fix it or help if you don't come in the house, Pauli." I put my best command tone on, "Now, get in here and go to the living room!"

At least she finally moved inside so I could shut the door. It was getting chilly outside and I was even colder standing in an open doorway wearing nothing but shorts and a T-shirt.  I followed her into the room with a quick shout downstairs to Caity to join us in the living room. Pauli just paced, still not talking. I didn't know what to make of it and since Caity was home, I decided to take a backseat and let her figure things out.

As soon as Caity came in the room, Pauli rushed over to her, threw her arms around her and started sobbing. I was uncomfortable and thought about leaving the room until Caity pinned me with a look that told me to sit right where I was for a while. After a few minutes, Caity guided Pauli to the couch and sat them down. I discreetly slid a box of tissues down the coffee table to put them within easy reach.

"I'm ready when you are Pauli, what's going on?" Caity looked much more patient than I felt. I was ready to fix whatever was wrong but there were no signs or symptoms other than the tears and lack of communication.

"I just… I don't know what to do, Sis. I'm scared and I don't know what to do!" cried Pauli.

Well, for me, that narrowed it down. It had to do with Gina because if it were fire department related, she would have come to me. I hesitantly asked, "Is it Gina? Did she do something?"

Pauli sniffed and reached for a tissue. "Uh huh, and I don't know what to do. Just because I couldn't give her an answer right away she probably thinks I'm too stupid to be with anyway." That set off another round of tears.

Blood and guts I can handle. Tears and angst scare me away. In keeping with my nature, I decided we all needed some tea. Caity acknowledged as I mimed making tea and I escaped to the kitchen. I got the kettle going and decided on a calming tea with some honey. After stalling all I could, I took a tray back in with the teapot, honey, three mugs, and spoons.

The waterworks had calmed and I didn't say anything for fear of starting them again. I sat and waited for Caity to draw things out. She had an amazing talent for talking to people and I assumed it would work even better with her own sister.

"Okay, Pauli, I want to help but I don't know what happened. What started this? Yesterday you were all excited about a date you had planned with her."

Pauli gave a few sniffles, but held together as she answered. "I picked her up and she was stressed about finding a place to live." Caity looked at me and I realized I hadn't told her of Gina's situation. I ducked my head in apology and Caity gave me a bemused grin. She returned her attention to Pauli.

"So, she's stressed about living arrangements. How long does she have to find a new place?"

"A couple of months. Her place is going condo and she doesn't want to buy in. I told her she could stay with me if she hadn't found a place in time. I'm an idiot! That's what started this mess!"

Perplexed, I had to ask. "How did that start anything? I think it was nice of you to offer to help her out."

Caity looked at us both as if we had grown extra heads. "How is it that the two of you can save lives daily, but don't understand the basics of relationships?" She turned to Pauli, "What was her reaction when you suggested her staying with you?"

Pauli's face fell further. "Her face lit up! Then she started asking me if I was positive that I was ready. Then she started talking about arranging things to fit both of our things. I guess I looked confused or something because she got really quiet."

Caity asked softly, "She thought you meant she should move in permanently, didn't she?"

Pauli nodded. "Yeah. I thought I was clear by asking her to stay with me, not move in with me. My place isn't big enough for two people, Caity, you know that! We would be in each other's faces all the time! When she asked me if I was serious about us moving in together, I just lost it. I couldn't even speak. She got upset and left the restaurant. By the time I paid the check and made it to the front, she was gone. She must have taken a cab because I couldn't find her. She hasn't answered her phone at home or her cell. She isn't at the station house, I even checked my place in case she had gone over to get her stuff." Pauli looked up with tears running down her cheeks, her eyes filled with pain. "What can I do, Caity? I don't want to lose her! I didn't think she wanted to move in with me yet. That's the only reason I didn't just suggest we find a bigger place together. I blew it, Caity! I blew it, and now she hates me!"

Caity looked over at me and I knew my task. I had to find Gina and bring her back here. Caity hugged me and thanked me silently. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a jacket, pulled on boots with no socks, and headed out to look for Gina equipped with my wallet, keys, and cell phone.

I called over to the station and verified that no one had heard from her. I headed towards Gina's place while making calls. I called Bran and she hadn't heard from her. There was no sign of life at her apartment and her car wasn't in the lot. Since Pauli had said she had picked Gina up, I surmised that she had come home, gotten her car, and left again. Great work Detective Donny, I thought with a smirk. Now what?

Without any clues, and not knowing a whole lot about Gina, I wasn't sure where else to look. I decided to drive around to a couple of department hangouts, but struck out at each place. I decided to swing back to Pauli's place and see if her idea of Gina going to clear out her stuff was right. Sure enough, her car was there, so I waited. I didn't want to interrupt her and I was afraid of missing her in the elevator since there were two elevators.

A few minutes later, I saw her exit the building and head to her car with a small duffel bag slung over one shoulder. I got out of my car and stood waiting. She saw me and a look of anger crossed her face. "Here to play the good sister-in-law, Donny? I didn't take anything that isn't mine but go ahead and search my bag if you want."

Taken aback, I wasn't sure how to respond, so I treated it like a call. I lowered my voice and didn't approach her. "I'm not here to check up on you, Gina. I'm here to find you. Pauli is at our place crying her heart out with Caity. She thinks she has lost you for good over a miscommunication."

She snorted. "A miscommunication? Is that what she told you? Some freakin' misnomer!"

"Gina, I'm not going to claim that I understand any of this right now. All I know is that none of us want you driving around upset like this tonight. Let me take you home, either mine or yours, and figure out what is going on."

Gina's shoulders slumped a bit, that proud angry stance starting to slip away. "I don't know if I can see her right now. What did she tell you guys?"

"All I know is she had planned a nice date and part way through she mentioned you staying with her since you hadn't found a place to live. She mentioned that she didn't handle it well when you thought she meant a permanent move."

"Huh! Didn't handle it well? That is a classic Pauli understatement! She couldn't speak! She was frozen and I was mortified when I figured out that I misunderstood her."

I nodded. "I kind of got that part. She said you left and that you were gone by the time she paid the check and made it to the door. I have to tell you, Gina, I don't think she meant it in a bad way. She thought you weren't ready to live together since you hadn't said anything about it when you got news of the condo stuff. She was trying not to pressure you and she had trouble changing gears."

Gina looked surprised. "She thought what? That I didn't want to live with her? Hell, Donny! I want to marry her someday! Shit! Now what do I do?"

I smiled and moved to take her duffel bag from her. I tossed it in my back seat and guided her to the passenger door. "Now, we go back to my place and straighten things out. I'm just glad I found you. I don't think Caity would have let me back in the house without you."

She smiled at me and sat quietly the whole ride back. When we got to the house, we both sat for a minute after I switched off the engine. I looked over at her, "Ready to go in?"

Gina shook her head but opened the door. "Not really, but we can't stay here all night either. How bad is this going to be?"

I tried to smile reassuringly. "I don't think it will be too bad. After all, you both misunderstood the other one's position. Just talk from your heart, Gina, it will work out."

We were barely in the door before Pauli was in the entranceway fiercely hugging Gina. "Don't ever leave me like that again! I was so scared, Gina! I'm sorry I was an idiot! Please, can we talk?"

Gina hugged her back and nodded. They went upstairs to what had been Pauli's room and I sank into the sofa with Caity. Jerking my head towards the stairs I asked, "Something you suggested?"

She shrugged. "Seemed more private than us going upstairs and them down here. We're less likely to hear them finish the fight… and making up."

I chuckled. "So, we have houseguests tonight. No problem. Anything else decided while I was gone?"

She leaned into me and kissed me gently and sweetly. "One other thing. If Gina accepts the idea, they will be moving in to my old place. It is a bit small, but they are young and don't have that much stuff. I'm going to rent it to them and they can either buy it when they are ready or I'll sell it when they move out.

"Sounds like a great plan! Now, peacemaker of mine, shall we head upstairs as well? I'm tired from all that search and rescue work tonight!"

We held hands going up the stairs, carefully stepping over that creaky step so as not to disturb the couple in the room with the closed door.

CHAPTER 18

 "ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER save!" exclaimed Tony.

"You know it! What are we? Three for three this week?" gloated Gina.

The two medics walked into the lounge at the station, practically floating at another successful call. In truth, they had been very busy this week. There had been two full codes that they brought back to life. The third call wasn't exactly a save. It was more of a good catch and speedy preemptive care.

"Yeah, I think so," crowed Tony.

Bran tossed a pillow at him as he crossed in front of the television. We hadn't had the same luck this week. It seemed every call was either a frequent flyer, someone too sick to help, or someone not actually sick enough to need our help. Weeks like that can get frustrating.

"Hey you two, you're doing great this week But just remember, the call volume gods can change your fortune in a heartbeat! Don't gloat, it's unseemly!"

The voice came from the doorway and we all turned to look. It was the captain and he was grinning as he came in the room.

"Hey, Cap! You want some coffee?" Tony called as he headed to the kitchen with his mug.

"Sure, Tony, thanks. Black is good if it's fresh."

"Tony, I  just made it. Bring me a cup too please!" I called into the next room.

"Got it, Donny! Anyone else?"

Bran grinned. "Sure, Super Medic, I'd like a cup too!"

Tony laughed as he came in with the mugs. "Hey, when you are as good as us, it is good to be humble enough to serve some coffee."

"Damn, Tony! You've been in a good mood lately! Dating someone new?" I joked.

To my surprise, he blushed. In fact, he turned bright red and started stammering. Apparently, I had hit the nail on the head.

Gina started laughing so hard that tears ran down her face. The rest of us just looked at each other with puzzled expressions.

When she caught her breath, Gina explained. "Tony came out with me one night when I met Pauli at a bar after shift. She brought along one of her new crew mates and the two of them hit it off. Tony's been on a cloud ever since."

The rest of us started laughing at the thought of Tony settling down. I decided to defend him though. "You know what? I think it is great, Tony! You finally found someone in the service, but out of our station! May it work out!" I raised my mug to him and the others followed suit.

"As great as that news is, I came down here for another reason," said Captain Williams. "Donny, I need you and Bran to go help out at the Academy again this week. Tomorrow at oh eight hundred rendezvous with Kristy at the Academy field for details. Questions?"

"Any special equipment we need to bring?"

"Just you and your turnout gear. You don't need a rig either, just go over in your personal vehicles."

I shrugged and looked over at Bran. She seemed to be less surprised but she kept her mouth shut. "Sure thing, Cap."

* * *

I rolled up to the main parking for the Academy at oh seven fifty, allowing plenty of time to walk over to the main area with my gear bag. I didn't see anyone else around but I didn't think anything of it. I assumed Kristy would be coming from the faculty lot and Bran might be running a few minutes behind me. I set my bag down and sat on top of it, nursing the cup of coffee I had picked up on my way.

At oh eight hundred, I stood up and tossed my now empty coffee cup into a nearby trash can. Still no sign of anyone. I wasn't sure what was going on but I decided to wait a few more minutes before calling someone. Finally, at oh eight oh five, I heard a car pull up. Bran joined me a few minutes later with her gear bag and three cups of coffee. She handed me one before setting her bag down.

"Thanks, Bran. Where's Kristy?"

"I don't know. I thought she would be here by now."

Suddenly, a radio crackled to life from nearby. I looked around to locate the source of the sound. I found a portable two-way radio behind the bleachers near us. Trotting over, I picked it up just as I heard it crackle again.

"Medic supervisor two two three, respond" I knew that voice. I knew it intimately. Something weird was going on and Caity was involved somehow.

I keyed up the mike and answered, "This is medic supervisor two two three, Go ahead."

"Medic supervisor two two three, you have two minutes to gear up. Repeat, two minutes to gear up before your next transmission."

I had no idea what was happening, but I decided it was best to go along for now. "Copy that, two minutes for full gear. Medic supervisor standing by."

I looked over at Bran and shrugged. "I don't know what's going on, but let's gear up! Did Kristy say anything to you about this?"

Bran shook her head at me. "Nope, she didn't say a word to me about anything for today."

We were finishing fastening our turnout coats when the radio called again. "Medic supervisor two two three."

"Medic supervisor, go ahead."

"Medic supervisor two two three, report to the smokehouse ASAP. Repeat, report to the smokehouse with crew, ASAP."

"Copy, report to the smokehouse with crew."

I looked over at Bran. She was looking over at the smokehouse across the field from us. She raised her hand to point. I followed her hand and saw the smoke starting to rise from the training facility for firefighters.

"Shit! Let's go! I don't know what's going on but I don't like it one bit!" I grabbed the radio and clipped it to my coat then headed towards the smoke with Bran. We fastened our helmets as we trotted the hundred or so yards. When we arrived, we saw no one around. I keyed up the radio again. "Medic supervisor two two three is on location. Report."

No response. Just as I was about to lose patience and key up again, the radio woke up. "Medic supervisor two two three, you have a two story structure with smoke showing. Fire crew is delayed and there are reports of two victims inside. Self contained breathing apparatus for two is en route to you now. Make entry once you are properly geared and find those two victims."

I was frustrated now. I didn't mind helping at the Academy, in fact, I usually loved it. This run around with no information was getting on my nerves though, and I hated going into the smoke filled training house. "Dispatch, medic supervisor two two three. What is going on here? Why are we being asked to make entry? I thought we were here to assist in a training exercise!"

"Medic supervisor two two three, follow orders and it will be discussed during your debriefing." I couldn't tell what was going on from the tone of Caity's voice and she wasn't giving any hints. The fact that she was involved made me feel a little better at least, but I still didn't like the feel of things.

"Hey, over there! There's a golf cart coming!" called Bran.

Sure enough, a guy drove up to us and used his thumb to point out the two SCBAs in the cart. I sighed but lifted one out. Bran did likewise and the guy in the cart took off without saying one word to us. We checked the gear, making sure that it had a full charge of air and that there was a good seal on the masks. We helped each other into the tanks and with one more look at each other, we prepared to mask up and make entry. Before going in, I reported in by radio. "Dispatch, medic supervisor and crew prepared to make entry. Any additional information on the two victims?"

"Medic supervisor two two three, victims reported on second floor. Back up is en route, ETA ten minutes."

"Copy that, making entry now."

We got close to the doorway, put on the masks, and checked again for airflow. I motioned Bran to follow me in and we felt along the walls to the staircase. Thankfully, I was familiar with the layout and got us to the stairs with relative ease. The building had filled with smoke, making it difficult to see even a few inches in front of us. Everything would be done by touch.

Inching up the stairs, I kept low, hoping for some visibility. At the top of the stairs we started a search along the perimeter first. When we found nothing, we improvised a search grid that would take us through the room. Finally, we found the two mannequins that were playing the role of victims for us. At least they were small enough that we could each lift one over our shoulder and carry them out.

We made our way back to the staircase, down the stairs, and out the door. When we broke back into the sunlight and clean air, we were both surprised. Suddenly, the entire class we had expected was out there. Four students came and took the "victims" from us and started to triage and treat them. We were guided by two other students to a rehab station and examined for signs of fatigue, high blood pressure, and smoke inhalation. After an all clear was given, along with some sports drink, I wandered over to a grinning Kristy and Captain.

"So, someone want to tell me what the heck that was about?"

Williams grinned at me. "Well, you know that every so often you have to recertify your firefighter skills, so we thought this would give you a chance to do that while showing the students that medics can and do handle their duties as firefighters as well as their medic duties."

"And we were kept in the dark why?" I was a little pissed off by that part, but what was there to do when the captain is the one that set me up?

"Partially, so we could show the students a true as possible scenario. Medics get called out for an unknown call and arrive to find a fire in progress. Partially, because I thought it could be good for our crews to do this with no warning and see their reactions. You were the first, but we're going to run the other crews through drills like this also."

I nodded. It made some sense, and I decided to take it as an honor that Bran and I were the crew chosen to test the idea on.

"One last question, Cap. How did you get Caity involved?"

He laughed. "That was the easy part. We called over to dispatch and asked for an available dispatcher to relay for us. When she heard what was going on, she offered up her services."

* * *

"Anything fun happen at work today, dear?" I asked as I swept Caity into a tight embrace.

She laughed at me and couldn't stop. I decided to take what revenge was available to me and added to her merriment by tickling her without mercy. "Stop!" she gasped, her face red and her eyes shining.

I growled at her, but I stopped my efforts, content to simply hold her in my arms. "I can't believe you set us up like that today."

She turned to face me, concern etched in her face. "You know that I didn't know about it, right? I mean, not until your captain called over to ask for our help. I asked to cover it so that I would know what was going on. Well, also, I figured if you heard my voice, you might not get as mad about the duplicity of the event."

I sighed and hugged her closer again. She knew me so well. "The truth is, I was pissed that you might have known about it. I did figure out that you wouldn't have done it without good reason. I wasn't really mad, just confused. It was actually a good way to test our reactions and prove to the students that we are real firefighters, not just band-aid pushers."

Caity chuckled as she returned my hug. "You have an interesting way of looking at things, you know that? Either way, I'm glad you aren't upset with me."

I cocked my head to the side, confused. "Why would I be upset with you? You were doing your job. I thought we took care of this, baby. I'll never blame you for anything that happens as a result of one of your dispatches."

"No, I meant for the trick they played. I didn't want you to think I withheld information. Speaking of which, I have some for you."

"Some what? Information? On what?" The way she changed gears sometimes befuddled me but it did keep life interesting.

"You know how you told me that Bran went to Chicago for a girl? I think that was only a partial truth. I think she left here because of a girl, she ran to Chicago to leave that girl behind."

"What are you talking about? And, how would you know about all of this?"

"I was talking with Kristy this afternoon and she let it slip that Bran was joining her for dinner tonight."

I shrugged. "So what? They knew each other years ago and have reconnected their friendship again since Bran moved back here. Big deal!"

"Well, I think, based on some stuff Kristy told me, that she was the girl Bran was trying to forget."

I choked on the water I was trying to drink. "What? Oh please! Kristy's straight! Bran wouldn't be interested in her!"

"Why not? They are both attractive, intelligent women, who haven't had a serious relationship in their lives. Don't you think that could be explained if they were hung up on each other?"

"Uh, yeah if Kristy were gay. Bran came home to care for her family, not to see Kristy. Don't you think she would have avoided her like the plague if she were hung up on her? Why torture herself with someone she can't have?"

"I don't know, honey. Why did we keep getting closer and closer when neither of us was willing to take a risk and tell the other how we felt? Why is my idea so farfetched?"

I thought for a minute and decided that Caity might be on track. "Okay, let's say that Kristy played a part in Bran leaving town. What is so different for her now? Kristy is still straight."

"So, you know that for a fact?"

"Well, she never said she was interested in any women."

"Has she ever said she was interested in anyone, Chloe? I mean, really, have you ever heard of her dating anyone?"

I shook my head. "I guess not. I always thought of her as sort of asexual, to be honest."

"My point exactly. Her past wrecked her for relationships of all kinds, including friendships that were too personal. She kept things mostly professional with everyone. She seems to be interested in making her relationships deeper now."

"You think that she and Bran? Really? I guess it could explain a few things. She winked at me when I declined going out to eat with them… I thought she was winking because I was coming home to you. Maybe she thought I was giving them time alone on purpose."

Caity grinned widely. "I think they're dating! They may not even realize it yet, but I bet they'll end up together!"

"Okay, Yenta, we'll see what happens. No interference from you though. Promise me?"

She leaned back in my arms and smiled slowly, licking her lips gently. "What's in it for me if I promise?"

Grinning, I kissed her gently on her sweet and soft lips. I moved my mouth down her neck and sucked gently at the pulse that beat insistently against my lips. When she moaned and I felt her pushing against me, I guided her upstairs to show her the results of her promise.

* * *

I awoke to the smell of bacon and coffee wafting up from the kitchen. I stretched and groaned in appreciation as I made a mental note to thank Caity for getting up early. Then I realized, our shower was running.

The events of the previous night came back to me and I sighed. Deciding that I had to deal with it sooner or later, I rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom to catch Caity in the shower. I heard the water turn off just as I got to the door and decided to see if she needed help drying off instead. Grin in place, I slid the door open a bit so as not to scare her, before opening it the rest of the way and slipping inside.

"Morning, baby, I was wondering when you would wake up!" A cheerful Caity chirped at me.

"Hmm, for some reason, I was a bit tired when I got to sleep last night. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" I grinned as I wrapped her in my arms.

She batted her eyes at me as she tried to play innocent. After a moment she gave up and laughed. "Yeah, but it was a lot of fun wearing you out!"

I chuckled as I moved in for a kiss. "It was a lot of fun being worn out by you. But, right now, we have other people in the house.

"We do?" queried Caity.

"Yeah but I don't think they're hostile since I smell breakfast being made."

Only Pauli had an extra key to the house so it was a safe bet that she was the intruder.

Caity quirked an eyebrow at me and grinned. "Really? I bet that means that they want to talk terms on the house! Honey, this is great!"

"Calm down, baby, we don't know that yet. Let me get cleaned up and you go put some clothes on. Then we can find out, Okay? No putting pressure on them either."

Caity half danced into the bedroom and I couldn't help but laugh as I heard the tune she was humming. The strains of Matchmaker from "Fiddler on the Roof" floated across to me as I turned to get ready for breakfast.

* * *

As we entered the kitchen, there were Gina and Pauli, sitting at the table waiting for us with a carafe of coffee and covered platters of eggs, bacon, and pancakes.

"Look at this feast, honey! I think we should have them over more often," joked Caity.

I waited a second as I looked them over. "I don't think so, this looks like they want someone to help them move heavy furniture." I grinned at them as the nervous expressions fled from their faces. "I happen to know a few big, strong guys I can suggest for the job… and we might be able to arrange the schedules to make it so that you are all off at the same time."

Gina jumped up and hugged me, then quickly backed off. "I'm sorry, Donny, I didn't mean…"

I just laughed, happy that things had worked out for them. "It's okay, Probie. Around here the only command structure is that Caity is in charge and we all listen to what makes her happy. Right, honey?"

Before I could duck, an oven mitt hit me in the chest and everyone laughed.

Over breakfast we worked out the details of getting the younger women set up in the house and Caity handled the financial end of things since it was her house. They cleared out after breakfast and I turned to Caity as they pulled out of the driveway to get Gina's car. "I think those two have a good chance. Don't you?"

Caity looked down the road another minute then turned to me and said, with a twinkle in her eye, "Yeah, as long as Pauli learns that Gina is in charge sooner rather than later." Tossing me a smirk, she ran for the house as I chased her down.

CHAPTER 19

"HERE YOU GO!" Caity proclaimed proudly as she handed me a check.

Puzzled, I took it and glanced at it. "What's this for?"

"My half of the mortgage here."

"Caity, I told you, I'm fine with paying the mortgage. You don't have to worry about it."

"And I told you that once I had my house handled, I wanted to pay half here. Pauli and Gina just took over the payments and now I can afford to pay more here."

I sighed. We had helped move Gina and Pauli into their new home last week, but I hadn't thought about how that would affect anything at home. "Baby, I was paying the mortgage here long before we started seeing each other. I can handle it. You do help out with the other bills and stuff."

"Chloe, I hate to feel like you have to support me. I can afford to pay half of the mortgage, so please, take the check."

"But Caity, I make more than you do. Shouldn't I pay more than you do? It only seems fair."

"Fair? You want to hear what isn't fair? It isn't fair knowing that I live in your house, with you paying the mortgage, and half of the other bills, while I have almost no expenses. It isn't fair that I'm not a full partner with you here." Her volume had increased as she continued and I didn't know what to do or say.

"This house is our home, not just my house. We share everything, Caity, I don't think of it any other way."

"Yeah? You have a funny way of showing it! Why is it that whenever we go out to dinner or order in, you have to pay? You drive most of the time when we go places, and you don't let me pay for household purchases? How is that fair?"

I was stunned. "I didn't know that stuff would bother you. I thought I was showing you that I could take care of you and the house. You know, be a good provider and stuff. I like taking care of you, Caity."

A small smile whispered across her lips then faded. "Honey, we have to come to a more fair solution. I'm not a fifties housewife, and you aren't my bread-winning husband. I know you're used to being in charge and taking care of things, but it is time to share the responsibilities."

"Do I really treat you like that? Like Donna Reed or June Cleaver?"

She nodded. "Sometimes, yeah, you do. You don't do it to be mean, I know that, honey. But I don't need to be insulated from reality. I have a good job too and I can afford to pay bills and share the duties around here."

"I'm sorry, I really hadn't thought of it that way. I guess chivalry is dead after all."

"Honey, that isn't what I'm saying at all. If you want to hold my door for me, drive me places, or do any of the other wonderful things that make you the sweet woman you are, then please do. What I'm saying is, let me be a partner to you. Let me help with the bills and stuff. I want to be your equal, not a kept woman."

I thought it over and decided she was right. Maybe I was shouldering too much for no real reason. "I'll make you a deal. I'll share the bills but we pay based on percentage of earnings. We'll figure out who makes more and break down the bills so that it is equal based on percentage of pay, not on dollar amount. Deal?"

"Let's try it. I think I'll feel easier about this being our place if I'm actually helping to pay for it."

I hesitated but then plowed ahead. "If you don't like it here, we can look for a place to buy together. I can sell this place if you want to move."

I didn't want to sell it. I loved the house, but I loved Caity more and I wanted her happy with our home.

"We don't have to move, Chloe. I love this place almost as much as you do. You are sweet to suggest it, but we can work it out, honey."

I gave her a hug, accepted the check, and promised to sit down with her and the bills on our next day off to figure out the new financial arrangements.

* * *

There were more adjustments to make like the one about money, but we worked through them one by one as they came up. Gina and Pauli were doing well in their new digs and I was training Gina to take over my old spot as a field supervisor after I was promoted to senior field supervisor just about a month after they settled into their house.

Caity and I spent a lot of time working on the house and changing things around to reflect both of us. We were even talking about getting a fur kid of some kind as practice for the real thing eventually. We were coming up on our one-year anniversary as we worked on the yard one day. I decided to suggest something to Caity just as she turned to speak to me. As we chuckled, I told her to go first.

"I was just thinking, would you mind if we had a small party for our anniversary? Nothing fancy, just Pauli and Gina, maybe Tony and his girlfriend, Kristy, and whomever else you want to invite from the station. What do you think?"

"I think you have been sharing my brain with me again, woman! I was about to suggest the same thing. I didn't have a much different list either."

We discussed plans for a small backyard shindig as we worked on the landscaping and agreed on a menu. Things were coming together in our lives and we wanted to celebrate and share that with the people we spent the most time with and considered family. For both of us, that meant department members.

"You didn't mention inviting Bran. Something going on?" I asked Caity as we finished clearing the tree trimmings from the ground. I turned around to see Caity looking a little bashful. "Okay, out with it, what happened?"

Caity pulled off her garden gloves and threw them down on the ground. "Those two stubborn women don't see how good they are together! I'm tired of trying to get them to see it. I have washed my hands of them."

Puzzled, I had to ask. "What do you mean? What have you been doing to get them to see it?"

"Well, I may have mentioned to them how good they looked together. I might have told Bran about how we started out as best friends first."

"And? Out with it, Caity, I can tell you're keeping something back."

Looking frustrated, Caity threw herself on the ground next to her gloves. "I might have taken Kristy to see some cheesy movie about a woman coming out late in life that was playing in the art district last week."

She kept her head ducked down, refusing to meet my eyes.

I was stunned for a moment, then roared with laughter. When I could finally speak again I managed to choke out a question. "What did she do? Was she upset?"

Caity shook her head sadly. "She had no reaction at all other than to tell me the movie was pretty B grade. The lousy acting was the only thing she talked about. Maybe I'm just not right about them. But go ahead, invite them both. I just didn't want to look like I was still trying to set them up."

"Got it, I'll take care of it. I promise, no problem."

* * *

The day of the party rolled around and we were ready for the group to come over. We had chairs and table set up out back, the food was ready for the grill, and coolers were packed with beverages. All we needed were the people.

Just then, we heard Gina and Pauli coming around the side of the house. Gina was carrying a small cooler and Pauli had a rather large gift wrapped box in her hands. Caity went and took the box, scolding her sister for getting us a present after being told no presents for the day. Pauli just shrugged and gave her a hug. I took the cooler from Gina, adding it to the stuff near the food. She had made some sides to go along with the food, but she left the potato salad to us, the self-proclaimed experts.

Eventually, everyone filtered in and we started grilling, tossing around a Frisbee, and chatting. I saw Kristy arrive with Bran but didn't say anything to Caity. I didn't want a repeat of her "they belong together" speech. Bran came over to the grill to say hello while I saw Kristy head towards Caity.

"Hey, what's going on? You two just get here?" I asked.

"Um, yeah. I kind of wanted to talk to you about that actually."

"Sure, something going on? Did you have car trouble or something? Tony's here and he's a whiz with cars."

Bran turned a little red and I kept an eye on the grill. "No, actually… Hell, I wanted to ask you if it was all right to make an announcement at your party. Kristy and I wanted to let you guys know that we're dating."

If I hadn't been holding on to the grill, I might have fallen over. I think my jaw actually fell open for a moment. "Are you kidding me? After all this time? Really?"

Looking a bit bashful, Bran shuffled her feet and then smiled. "Yeah, we've been taking it really slow. It's her story to tell but, yeah, we're together. I hope to make that permanent at some point. I waited a long time for this to happen."

I couldn't help it, I gave her a big hug, and laughingly told her to make any damn announcements she wanted to make. "Is that what Kristy is doing? Asking Caity?"

Bran shot me a wry grin. "Um, that and, well… apologizing to her. She's been kind of playing with Caity about all the matchmaking attempts. She told me she almost lost it at that movie a few weeks ago. Did Caity tell you about it?"

I started turning the chicken as I chuckled. "Oh yeah! That was the final straw for her. She swore off matchmaking you two after that one. She's gonna have a cow!"

Bran agreed as we watched Caity come storming over towards us and Kristy came following behind. Caity grabbed Bran by her shirt and pulled her in for a big hug

"Whew, I thought you were gonna deck me, Caity," said Bran.

"I should, but I'm just too happy for you both! You guys deserve it. Go, make your announcement! Then we can eat!"

As we watched the couple, since that is exactly what they were now, move to the center of the lawn, Caity put her arm around my waist and snuggled in tightly. I felt that warm and calm feeling spread across me that I felt whenever she touched me. We watched our friends announce their relationship and receive congratulations. I sighed, just happy that I had Caity and our lives were so filled with good things.

* * *

I was in bed that night, after the party, waiting for Caity. As she joined me, she shut off the overhead light in the bedroom and slid into bed with a sigh.

I grinned. I knew she had no idea what was about to happen and I loved that I had managed to surprise her. I couldn't wait to see the expression on her face. "Caity, I know we didn't really talk about gifts or anything but I had an idea and I wanted to do this for you to mark this anniversary."

"Honey, you didn't have to get me anything. I thought we weren't going to do anything big this year."

"I know, but it isn't big, really. Just something I thought you should have to commemorate the occasion."

Caity leaned over her side of the bed and pulled out something from her nightstand's bottom drawer. With a grin on her face she calmly said, "I kind of got you something too, so I guess I should give it to you now."

We sat grinning like idiots before I remembered what I was doing.

"You didn't have to, honey, but thank you. Now, as I was saying, something special, for you, to let you know how much you mean to me." I handed her a long envelope and waited.

She looked up at me, then down at the envelope in her hand. "Well, it isn't a teddy bear."

"Go on, open it!" I was ready to burst and I prayed that I was doing the right thing.

I watched as she slid a finger under the flap and worked it loose. She reached inside and pulled out a sheaf of paperwork. She looked up at me, a little confused. "What is it? I don't get it."

I leaned over and showed her the new deed to the house, in both of our names. "I know you felt weird about this being my house, even after everything we talked about. Now, it belongs to us both, equally. I went to a lawyer and had it changed. I even had him draw up some partnership papers and power of attorney stuff for us. I was hoping, well…"

Clearly confused but amazed, she just stared at me. "Honey, you didn't have to give me your house! You worked so hard for it!"

"I wanted to do this. The whole point of this place was that it would make a great house for a family some day. I figured I could work on it and sell it, or I could have a family of my own. Until you came along, I thought I'd be selling it."

I smoothed a tear from her cheek. "What's wrong, Caity? Did I do something bad?"

Before I could say anything else, she was kissing me with everything in her. When we parted, Caity finally spoke. "Honey, I was crying because I finally found home again. I found it when we became an us. You wanting to do all of this, it just proves that I was right. I'm so in love with you!"

"I love you too! Does this mean you'll marry me?" I asked.

"What? Are you serious?"

"Well, yeah! That's what those partnership papers are for. It's the closest the lawyer said we could get to a legal marriage for now. He's gonna do wills and stuff for us too when you're ready."

"Oh, Chloe, of course I'll marry you! But I think you need to open your gift now."

Puzzled, I agreed and opened the envelope she handed me. Inside were two plane tickets to Canada. "Umm, thanks! So, we're going away?"

She smiled and took my hand. "We can get married in Canada. I was going to ask you to go there and marry me. I know it isn't legal here, but I wanted to let you know that I want you, and only you forever."

We started laughing and crying at the same time. I kissed her, she kissed me, until we were gasping for air. Finally, we both calmed down enough for me to say, "Yes, I'll marry you in Canada. I can't believe we were both thinking the same thing again. You think we share a brain, Caity?"

She shook her head as she leaned in to kiss me again, "No, just a soul."

The End

Recipes

Chicken Piccatta al la Donny

· 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, butterflied.

· approx 1 1/2 cups of regular flour divided in half

· salt (kosher or sea salt)

· pepper (fresh ground white if you have it)

· pinch of cayenne pepper

· Garlic powder

· Egg wash (1 egg beaten, with 1 TB water)

· 2 TB Butter

· 1/3 cup lemon juice (fresh squeezed)

· Olive oil

· Pinch of sugar

· 1 cup White wine-something you would drink but not expensive

· ¼ cup Brined Capers (drained)

· Cornstarch

Serve with pasta of choice but Donny loves to use angel hair for both presentation and quickness of cooking time.

Pound out the chicken breasts before dredging them in flour (just salt and pepper in flour), then egg wash, and then seasoned flour (second flour should use salt and pepper to taste, cayenne, and garlic powder to taste-be gentle so as not to overwhelm the sauce) before putting them in a heated skillet coated in olive oil, to brown on each side. Remove from pan and set aside on paper towel while making the sauce.

Sauce: Add butter, lemon juice (fresh squeezed of course), a pinch of sugar to tame the acidity, and 1 cup of white wine to the pan. Once that is combined, add capers. Whisk in a tsp of corn starch until the sauce starts to thicken. Return chicken to the simmer for 5 minutes. Serve garnished with parsley over a bed of angel hair pasta. Donny usually serves this with good Italian bread and a green salad.

* * *

Donny’s homemade cure-all chicken soup

Stock:

· 4 pounds chicken carcasses, including necks and backs or one full chicken

· 1 large onion, quartered

· 4 carrots, peeled and cut in 1/2

· 4 ribs celery, cut in 1/2

· 1 leek, white part only, cut in 1/2 lengthwise

· 4 parsnips peeled and cut in 1/2

· 5 sprigs fresh thyme

· 10 sprigs fresh parsley with stems

· 2-3 bay leaves

· 8 to 10 peppercorns

· 2 whole cloves garlic, peeled

· 10 sprigs of fresh dill

· small piece of (1lb.) kosher flanken or brisket.

· 2 gallons cold water

Combine all herbs and spices into a cheese cloth bag and secure with food safe string or twine. Add chicken and bag to a large stock pot then cover with 2 gallons of cold water. Cover with flanken or brisket then cover and bring to a simmer. Keep covered but let steam escape. Skim every 20-30 minutes and add water as needed to keep everything covered. Simmer for between 4-6 hours. (longer is better as it builds flavor).

Allow pot to cool and remove meat, chicken and cheese cloth bag. Strain to remove veggies and any debris and cool overnight in fridge. Remove as much fat as you wish (but leave it little for flavor and richness.) Remove meat from chicken, chop and use in the soup or for chicken salad/sandwiches. Flanken or brisket can also be used for sandwiches.

To serve: Reheat soup and add fresh veggies of choice or leave as broth. Can be served with egg noodles cooked in broth, matzo balls, or simply used as a basic stock for cooking. Can be frozen for up to 6 months.

Donny served it with a few chopped up fresh sprigs of dill and parsley, chopped carrots and celery, shredded chicken, and egg noodles.

* * *

Caity’s Apple Slaw

· 1/4 cup olive or vegetable oil, plus a drizzle

· 1 cup cider vinegar

· 2 TB stone ground mustard

· 1/4 to 1/3 cup sugar

· 6 peppercorns

· 2 fresh bay leaves

· 1 teaspoon kosher salt

· 1 small head red or green cabbage, cored and thinly shredded

· 1 medium Vidalia onion, halved and thinly sliced

· 1 large or 2 med granny smith apples, peeled, cored, quartered and sliced thinly (keep soaking in cold water to keep color until needed)

· Salt and freshly ground white pepper, to taste

Stir the vinegar, sugar, peppercorns, bay leaves, and kosher salt together in a pot over med to high heat. Bring to a boil then lower the heat and allow to reduce for 5-6 minutes stirring once or twice

Mix the cabbage, onion, and apple in a large serving bowl or large closeable plastic (food grade) bag. Sprinkle with celery seeds, if you like the flavor.

Pour the reduced brine over the slaw through a strainer, slowly. After mixing well, add up to a ¼ cup of olive or vegetable oil and toss again. Taste, season with salt and pepper as needed. Toss again and taste before serving. Can be served warm or cold.

About the Author

 JEANINE WAS BORN and raised a New Englander and is still trying to find her way back home. In the interim she and her family reside in the Philadelphia, Pennsylvania area. Her wife, their son, and the family dog have all been amazingly supportive during this venture into writing. Currently, Jeanine is a stay at home mom and full time college student. She has worked as an Emergency Medical Technician in a hospital setting, in addition to working in hospitalities, emergency medical services, home care, and strangely the financial sector. She has plans to continue to write and occasionally to win a game on the Wii.

More can be found at:

http://JeanineHoffman.com

Other Titles by This Author

Strength In Numbers - Romance

Summary

FOUR WOMEN. One ran from her best friend years ago but wants to make amends, if she can. A second has buried herself in work for so long she isn't sure she knows how to do much else. The third has traveled and played the field, while playing some of the finest golf courses of the world. And the fourth is the best friend that had her heart broken so many years ago. She hasn't trusted many since.

All four women have things to face about themselves and the others.

What do these women have in common? A crisis. Their lives are all about to turn upside down and the outcome can only be determined by their faith in the saying, There is Strength in Numbers.

Book Back Summary

Lights & Sirens - Romance

CHLOE "DONNY" Donavon is a firefighter / paramedic who discovers an attraction to, Caity, a dispatcher. She has known Caity for a few years but never thought of her as anything other than a friend and fellow member of the fire department. Their relationship goes against everything Donny has believed about keeping romantic entanglements away from the workplace, especially since she works with Caity's younger sister.

Kristy is Donny's mentor, supervisor, and friend at the station. She's behind Donny's sudden promotion, but that promotion could change her own career as well. Kristy is dealing with things from her past that she can no longer repress. How will that affect her relationships with her protégé and crew? What happens when the strongest of the strong finds out that she can't remain an island forever?

Lights and Sirens shows a crew of well meaning men and women who come together to battle fire, fight illness, injury, and death for others — can they hold it together for one of their own?

* * *

Thank You for Purchasing and Reading
Lights & Sirens.

L-Book ePublisher, LLC

http://L-Book.com

Table of Content

Lights & Sirens

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

Recipes

About the Author

Other Titles by This Author

Book Back Summary

Table des matières

Lights & Sirens

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

Recipes

About the Author

Other Titles by This Author

Book Back Summary

Table of Contents

Lights & Sirens

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

Recipes

About the Author

Other Titles by This Author

Book Back Summary