Casa Parisi

Copyright © 2012 by Janet Albert

Author's Comments

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

About the Author

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Casa Parisi

by

Janet Albert

Copyright © 2012 by Janet Albert

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. The characters, incidents and dialogue herein are fictional and any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

ISBN 978-1-61929-016-7 (eBook)

eBook Conversion February 2012

First Printing 2012

9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Cover design by Donna Pawlowski

Published by:

Regal Crest Enterprises, LLC

3520 Avenue H

Port Arthur, Texas 77627

Find us on the World Wide Web at http://www.regalcrest.biz

Published in the United States of America

Author's Comments

This book is my way of celebrating the beautiful Finger Lakes winemaking region in central New York State. I've been there a lot and during one trip I read an article about a young female wine-maker from France. That got me thinking. Women winery owners and winemakers really are rare and I thought, wouldn't it be interesting if they happened to be lesbians and I wrote a story about them?

Although some places in the book are real and the facts about wines and winemaking are accurate to the best of my knowledge, the names of the wineries, the wines created at Casa Parisi, and the cast of characters, are products of my imagination. I was presented with a challenge when it came to the names, spelling and punctuation of wines and grape varieties. There were inconsistencies and variations, so to be as accurate as I could, I used the standards and guidelines suggested in my main reference sources.

I'm grateful to Cathy LeNoir and everyone at RCE who had anything to do with the publishing of this book. You've made my dream come true for the third time.

And, for the third time, I'm sending a hug and much gratitude out to Pat Cronin, my editor. You've taught me a great deal and I've enjoyed working with you. You'd say you were just doing your job, but you've done far more than that. Your genuine kindness and encouragement have meant more to me than I can ever put into words.

Thanks to Norma Serrato and Mary, for their time and valuable suggestions. Writing is an arduous task and no author can survive without the support of many people. Each of them offers something unique, no matter how large or small.

As always, thanks to my partner, Mary, for being supportive every step of the way. How fortunate I am to have you in my life.

Without the readers of lesbian fiction we would have no cause to write. Without the publishers, editors, and everyone else who does whatever it is they do to get these books on the market, we would have no literary culture. That would be a tragic loss.

To learn more about me or to contact me, visit my website www.janetalbert.com

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my mother, Lucia. Thanks for teaching me to find pleasure in the simple things in life.

Casa Parisi

by

Janet Albert

Chapter One

FOR LUCIA PARISI it was just another miserable Saturday night, one more night swallowed up by the ghostly remains of her past. Her life now seemed so different from the life she'd once had, the life fate had ripped from her grasp in one afternoon. On the horizon, her tomorrows stretched out like an endless succession of threatening storms and nothing in her life offered her the promise of sunny days ahead. The only thing she could do that made any sense at all was to sit on her favorite barstool at Ms. Georgie's, the one and only lesbian bar in Ithaca, New York, and watch as a steady stream of women poured through the front door.

The bar had become her safe haven, the one place she could run to when she needed to escape. It was a place with no connection to her past, a place that held no memories of hers within its walls. She could have done her drinking alone at home, in fact she would have preferred to, but some days stirred up more memories than others and this had been one of them. Every sound, every smell, every sight and thought had triggered additional rounds of mental torment until she felt she had no choice but to leave her house and drive down the road into town.

Mostly, she went to the bar to drink and to be with other women even though they meant nothing to her and she rarely spoke a word to any of them. But on certain nights when being alone became unbearable and she felt as though she might wither away from the lack of another woman's touch, she went there in search of something else.

In an hour or two, the place would be packed tighter than a city bus at rush hour with women from all the neighboring towns and that presented her with the prospect of finding someone she hadn't seen before and wasn't likely to run into again. She wasn't looking to find a lasting relationship or true love or even someone to date. All she wanted was a few hours of comfort in the arms of a stranger.

"Hey Bernie, I need another drink." Even though Bernie, the bartender, was directly in front of her, Lucia was forced to raise her voice so she could be heard above the noise. "Make it a double and don't put as much ice in it this time."

"Hey, yourself." Bernie turned and leaned on the bar. As usual, she was chewing the living hell out of a piece of gum. "Now listen, why don't you take a little break from the vodka and have a soda this time? I think you've had enough for a while."

"No, no, no. There's never enough vodka."

"Clever comeback, as usual." Bernie glared at Lucia for a good ten seconds before she softened her expression. "Mind if I make a suggestion, cute thing?"

"You will whether I mind or not." Lucia studied the ice cubes in her glass. She'd heard how slurred her words had become, so she slowed her speech and made an effort to enunciate every syllable. "Go ahead. I'm always open to suggestions."

"Why don't you pace yourself? You'll live longer."

"What if I don't give a shit how long I live?" Lucia lifted her eyes. She hadn't really expected a comment, but Bernie's frowning face staring back at her spoke volumes. She had found Lucia's question outrageous and she disapproved.

Bernie took a few moments before replying. "That I have no trouble believing based on how you throw down one drink after another. Take a good look at yourself. Those pretty eyes of yours are hanging at half-mast and you have to prop your head up to keep from falling over."

As if on cue, Lucia's chin slipped off her hand and her entire body shifted sharply to the right. In the nick of time, she grabbed the edge of the bar and pulled herself into an upright position. "Fuck me," she blurted. "That'll wake you up."

"I'll bet it would." Bernie flashed a smile and then became somber.

Knowing Bernie was serious about how bad she looked, Lucia confronted her blurry image in the mirrored wall behind the bar. Everything Bernie had said was true. She was a frightening sight. With her fingers, she coaxed her messy brown hair into place. She'd been meaning to get a haircut and she now realized it had become an emergency. Judging by the dark circles under her eyes, a night or two of uninterrupted sleep wouldn't hurt either. After some eye rubbing and vigorous blinking she shook her head back and forth to clear the cobwebs.

"So, how do you think you look?" Bernie asked.

"I look like shit."

This time Bernie seemed amused. "You don't look that bad."

"Yes I do. You probably think I'm pathetic."

Before Bernie had a chance to confirm or dispute, a hand grabbed Lucia's shoulder from behind. "Try not to fall off that barstool. My insurance doesn't cover that."

Lucia turned to find Georgie, the owner of the bar, standing next to her. She tried to sound sober. "Bernie thinks I've had too much to drink. What do you think?"

"I think Bernie's right. She's always right about that sort of thing." Georgie hoisted her ample backside onto the stool next to Lucia's and draped her arm across Lucia's shoulders. "We ought to have your name engraved on that bar stool."

"Yeah, maybe you should." Lucia almost smiled but she couldn't. Georgie's remark, although meant to be light-hearted, had an underlying message that made her ashamed. A spark of insight gave her a mental picture of how she must look to them. She always sat on the same stool in the shadows and she always drank way too much.

"Why don't you take a break from the booze and drink some coffee, sweetie? I'll ask Bernie to get you a nice big cup. What do you say?"

"You think I should?" Lucia grabbed a fistful of Georgie's soft flannel shirt and fell against her lush, full-figured frame. With her head on Georgie's shoulder, she inhaled her spicy, slightly smoky scent and sighed.

"I do," Georgie said, making eye contact with Bernie. "Get our friend some coffee, will you? I just made a fresh pot. Make it black and use one of the big mugs." Georgie lifted her arm from Lucia's shoulders, pried her shirt from Lucia's hand and helped her straighten up. "See you don't fall off of that barstool, you hear me?"

"I hear you, Georgie." Lucia raised her hand to smooth her hair.

"Listen sweetie, it's Saturday night and this is the only lesbian bar in Ithaca, so I've got to get back to work before it gets too crazy in here. You're gonna hang around for a while, am I right?"

"Right. And I happen to know what night it is, thank you. That's why I came here." Lucia focused on Georgie's kind face as she showed her what she hoped was one of her sexiest grins. She winked at Georgie trying to appear cool but knowing she looked more like a damned fool. "Booze and sex, that's how I get through the night."

"If I were you, I'd go easy on the booze and the girls. Too much of either one can get you into a whole mess of trouble. Take it from one who knows." Georgie's deep laughter rumbled and rolled out of her like thunder as she slid off the stool.

"I hear you, Georgie." Lucia couldn't help but laugh.

"I mean it. You shouldn't be hooking up with anyone, drunk as you are. Lay off the drinks for a while and when Bernie brings you that coffee, you drink every last drop of it, you hear me? It's on the house. So's the advice which I'm sure you'll ignore as soon as I get out of your face."

"Why are you always looking out for me?" Lucia asked.

"I don't know. I guess I kind of like you. You seem like a nice person--a bit moody maybe--but nice. It's just that I hate to see you in here all the time drinking like there's no tomorrow, is all."

"Don't worry about me." Lucia waved her hand dismissively. "Waste of time." Lucia stared at the surface of the bar. For her there were no tomorrows worth living.

"You're no waste of time." Georgie rested her hand on Lucia's back.

"Yes I am. You don't know. " Lucia slowly shook her head.

"No I don't know. And I also don't know why you say that about yourself. You're just having a bad patch and you're drunk. You're not thinking clearly."

"That's why I get drunk. So I won't have to think at all."

"That bad, huh? You know I'm here if you ever want to talk."

"I know." Lucia shook her head. "But I can't talk about it and I won't, not to you or anyone else. No offense. That's just the way it has to be."

"No offense taken, but if you ever change your mind, come in when it's not too busy. I'm a decent listener, or so I've been told."

"I'm sure you are." Lucia turned her eyes to Georgie's. "And thanks."

"Anytime. I guess I just wanted to say--" Georgie ran her hand through her short, salt and pepper hair. "Oh, hell, I don't know what I want to say except that I'd sure like to see you happy. Whatever's eating at you, I hope you work it out real soon."

"I think it's time I did."

"Me too, honey, me too."

"Is Joan here tonight?" Lucia knew the answer to her question but asked it anyway to divert Georgie's attention away from her. Joan, Georgie's wife as she called her, wasn't at the bar every night although she always came in on the weekends to help in the kitchen and prepare the limited bar menu.

"She's in the kitchen. Speaking of which, I'd better go back there and help her out or she'll be pissed as hell. She hates when I stand around gabbing for too long."

"That wouldn't be good."

"No, it wouldn't. Happy wife happy life, that's my motto." Georgie paused. "I heard that on a TV show once and I liked it."

"Catchy," Lucia said with a smile. "And so true."

"You're kind of in a pleasant mood tonight even though you've had a lot to drink and I have to say it's a welcome change."

"Is that your way of telling me I'm not usually pleasant?"

"If the shoe fits," Georgie said. "I'm not one to beat around the bush."

"I know how I am. Would it help to say I'm sorry?"

"It would, but you don't need to, not to me." Georgie took a step or two and then stopped and turned around. "Maybe I'll see you later. Take it easy."

"I'll try." Lucia watched Georgie until she disappeared through the swinging doors leading into the kitchen. She was such a warm, cuddly woman.

Bernie arrived with the hot coffee and set it down on the bar. She placed a napkin next to the cup. "Be careful, it's really hot."

Lucia touched the cup with the tips of her fingers and yanked them away. "You're not kidding. Good thing I didn't take a big sip."

"You'd better blow on it before you drink it." Bernie reached under the bar and came up with a spoon. "Want milk or sugar?"

"Nah, black is fine. Thanks." Lucia raised the mug to her lips with two shaky hands and blew on the coffee several times before gingerly taking her first sip. "This is strong enough to grow hair on my chest."

"I doubt that," Bernie said. "Quit with the comments and drink it."

Lucia managed a couple more sips and then put the cup down. She wrinkled her nose and sniffed noisily. "You know what, Bernie? It stinks in here."

"Imagine that. This is a bar, Miss Fancy Pants, not those flower gardens they have up at the university." Bernie shook her head as she wiped the bar. "What did you expect it to smell like, a bunch of roses?"

"No. I expected it to smell like spilled beer and old frying grease."

"And it does, so why don't you drink that coffee and keep the complaints to yourself. I've got customers waving at me."

"Hey, no offense," Lucia said as Bernie moved away.

Bernie waited on a few other women and came back to where Lucia was seated. She leaned toward her. "What's up with you? You're not acting like yourself."

"Of course I'm myself. Who the fuck would I be?" During a rational moment, Lucia thought about zipping her lip, but unfortunately, she didn't follow her own advice. "That reminds me of one of those stupid greeting cards that says, 'thank you for being you', or some other shit like that. You are you and it's not like you could be somebody else even if you wanted to."

"Why don't you go home and get some rest?"

This time Lucia did find the wherewithal to stifle another snappy comeback. "I can't go home. I think too much when I'm like this and I won't be able to sleep anyway."

"Are your thoughts that bad?"

"Tonight they are. No rest for the wicked as they say."

"What did you do that was so wicked?"

"Nothing. Not a thing." Lucia sipped her coffee. "It's just a saying."

"Okay. Well, you finish that coffee. All of it." Bernie hurried to the other end of the bar to wait on the line of women that was getting longer by the second.

As she drank her coffee, Lucia sobered up enough to reflect upon her life since her return to the Ithaca area. Her days were spent running her winery with the help of her brother, Luke. He worked long and hard, but even after he went home, she stayed in her office doing anything she could think of to avoid going home. The sun often set before she walked along the unpaved road down the hill to her cottage on the lake. On a good night, she'd have something to eat, watch a little television and fall asleep on the sofa, too exhausted to remember.

On a bad night, her thoughts tortured her unmercifully, her memories driving her to the brink of despair. And all too often, a free-floating dread kept her from the comforting embrace of sleep. Until the first light of day filtered through the windows, she would lay in bed, her eyes open, counting the hours and waiting for the darkness to leave. Only then would she be able to rest.

What kind of runaway train had taken her to this place in her life? Everything she'd ever wanted had been hers and it had all slipped from her grasp as if she'd been playing tug of war with destiny and her end of the rope was greased. Now here she was, drunk in a bar, in the hometown she'd left behind her so many years ago. And the absurdity of it seemed somehow normal.

Lucia shook off her musings and spun her stool around. The dance floor was hopping and it was time to check out the women. Rusty, the DJ, swayed in her booth, her amped up energy level transmittable as she provided the pounding beat that lured the throbbing mass of women onto the dance floor. Maybe Lucia would join them later, providing she could stand up without swaying, but for now, she was content to observe.

AFTER AN HOUR, thanks to a second cup of coffee and a turkey sandwich Bernie brought out on Georgie's orders, Lucia had sobered up enough to earn a fresh drink. She lifted the glass Bernie reluctantly set in front of her and took a controlled sip. Although she longed to recapture the beneficial effects a moderate dose of alcohol would provide, she had decided to slow down and take it easy. Getting shit-faced would not serve her and would prevent her from getting what she came here for.

Before long, the loud music made normal conversation impossible. The crowd had seeped into every square foot of available space. More and more women squeezed onto the dance floor until it appeared to sway and bob like a single mass. At first Lucia was fascinated by the clouds of dust floating in the beams of light that crisscrossed the dance floor, but she soon tired of that and closed her eyes.

Letting the pounding beat pulsate throughout her body made her hum with life again. She stayed that way until a sultry voice registered in her right ear.

"What's your name good-looking?"

The voice coaxed Lucia back to reality, tickling the hairs on the back of her neck like a balmy summer breeze. Turning her head, she opened her eyes and saw a young woman with short blond hair eyeing her hungrily.

"Does it really matter?" Lucia had to speak into the young woman's ear in order to be heard above the clamor. Without waiting for an answer, Lucia reached for her drink and drained the rest of it. Setting the glass on the bar, she rotated on her stool and took in a pair of tight fitting black jeans and a dark purple shirt with the first few buttons open to allow an inviting glimpse of cleavage.

"It doesn't have to," the young woman replied.

"That's the answer I wanted." Lucia inhaled deeply. The woman smelled good and she was cute, very cute. She was exactly what Lucia had hoped to find.

"Could I persuade you to dance with me?"

"Not right now. Maybe later," Lucia answered. Pointing to the stool next to hers, she invited her young admirer to join her. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"You sure can, Ms. Anonymous."

"What do you want?" Lucia raised her hand and signaled for Bernie.

"That's a loaded question." The woman's tone was suggestive. "If you mean, what do I want to drink, I'll have a beer."

"And if that's not what I mean?"

"We can get to that later on."

"Good. So, what would you like to drink?" This one was going to be a cinch, but for now Lucia was in no hurry to leave the bar or jump into bed with her.

"I'll have a Genny Light."

"You like the local stuff."

"The local stuff looks pretty good from where I'm sitting."

Lucia's only reaction was to smile at the innuendo. This girl was full of them. When Bernie came she placed their drink orders. Bernie nodded and said nothing, although the look she threw Lucia's way did not go unnoticed.

Lucia turned her attention back to the girl and fed her one of her usual lines. "How come I haven't seen you in here before? Believe me, I would have remembered."

"I'm not from around here. I'm visiting some friends in Ithaca."

"All the better." Lucia relaxed once she heard that. She wasn't likely to see this girl ever again and that made what she had in mind even more appealing. "What brings you to Georgie's?"

"I'm out looking for a good time." The young woman's eyes were swirling pools of darkness as she lightly traced a random pattern on Lucia's forearm with her finger.

"You came to the right place." Lucia swallowed a hefty swig of vodka and promptly made a mental note to drink less for the rest of the night. She didn't need to get any more intoxicated. Her senses were heightened, her inhibitions loosened up and that was right where she wanted to be. As long as she put the brakes on before she rendered herself senseless, she'd be fine. She raised her glass for a toast. "Here's to us."

"We're already an us?"

"Sure. As long as it's only for one night." Lucia wanted to touch this woman and get lost in the feel of her so she could forget her troubles for a few precious hours. "I think it's only fair to tell you that I prefer to kiss and run."

"I appreciate the honesty and it's not a problem. I'm not in the market for a long-term relationship. I've been watching you and I like what I see, that's all."

"Do you?" Lucia stared into the woman's eyes. "Then say yes."

"Yes," she said, her eyes never leaving Lucia's.

Lucia studied the young girl and reached out to touch her hand. She was so young and earnest and it wasn't in Lucia's nature to treat anyone like a piece of meat. There was no harm in knowing a little about her as long as it was limited. "Where are you from?"

"Binghamton. I'm from Binghamton."

"How old are you?" Lucia asked. "You look awfully young."

"Everyone tells me that, but I'm twenty-three."

"That's good to know. I wouldn't want to commit a felony or anything."

"What felony would that be, statutory lesbianism?"

"So you're cute and funny. I like that." Lucia wrapped her arm around the woman's waist and leaned in. "I'll take you up on that dance now, but it's only fair to warn you that I like to dance close and slow." Her words were accentuated by a few nibbles on the girl's earlobe.

"I can hardly wait." The girl squirmed with each nibble.

"The next slow dance and I'm all yours. Do you want another beer?"

"No thanks. I don't want to get drunk."

In a few minutes, the DJ announced that the next song would be a slow one and the lights on the dance floor dimmed. Lucia took another sip of her drink, took hold of the woman's hand and escorted her onto the dance floor. As soon as she located a spot large enough for them to move around in she swept her partner into her arms.

The young woman's heart pounded against Lucia's chest. A soft kiss planted on the woman's neck made it beat even faster. Lucia inched her lips along her dance partner's hot cheek until their mouths were no more than an inch apart, but instead of kissing her she stopped and waited to be invited.

"Jesus." Moaning, the woman moved her mouth to close the gap.

They kissed deeply, unaware of anyone around them. Without asking for permission, Lucia wiggled one side of the woman's shirt out of her pants and let her hand rove under the purple cotton. When it came to rest on the lower rim of the woman's breast, she held it there.

"Touch me," the woman whispered into Lucia's mouth.

While she explored the young woman's mouth with her tongue, Lucia covered one small breast with her hand. The feel of a hard nipple poking through the woman's bra and the sound of a sharp intake of breath sent a surge of lust through Lucia's body. She tore away from the kiss. "You feel good, but you'd feel a whole lot better without all these clothes on."

"So would you." The woman ground her hips against Lucia's and wedged her thigh between Lucia's legs. "You're so fucking hot."

Lucia leaned back enough to meet the woman's dark eyes, but then she had to bring her lips to the woman's ear again in order to be heard. "I'm hot for you and fucking you sounds real good right about now.

Why don't we get out of here and go somewhere where we can be alone?"

"I'm ready. Do you live around here?"

"We're not going to my place. There's a nice motel close by."

The young woman hesitated.

Lucia sweetened the deal. "I'll pay for it."

"I have to let my friends know I'm leaving."

"Tell them you'll be back before the bar closes," Lucia said. "And just so we're both on the same page, this is going to be strictly casual, right? It'll be great while it lasts and then it'll be over. You don't need to know anything about me and we won't keep in touch or see each other again. Can you handle that? If you can't, I'll be on my way."

"I can handle it. Let's get out of here."

Chapter Two

LATE THE NEXT morning, Lucia sat at another bar, the one in the restored barn that served as the main tourist building at her winery, Casa Parisi Vineyards. As she sat there she observed her brother Luke as he performed his customary preparations for their twelve noon opening. Although she had seen him carry out the identical routine many times before, she found his predictable actions soothing. Luke was her only sibling and she loved him dearly. Older than her by three years, he was a towering teddy bear of a man with a soft heart. Like many other brawny men he was sure of himself and felt no need to prove his strength or masculinity. Everyone, and she was no exception, was drawn to his charismatic personality.

He whistled softly to himself as he uncorked several bottles of each type of wine featured on their tasting list. He left the wines that were best served at room temperature on the bar and placed the wines that tasted better chilled in the wine refrigerator at the far end of the bar. With a damp cloth he wiped any stray wine drops from the surface of the bar and dried it with a clean towel. From one end of the bar to the other he positioned six wooden bowls at equal intervals. Then he filled them with large oyster crackers the wine tasters would munch on to clear their palates between samples.

Behind Luke, through the floor-to-ceiling windows, Lucia could see the neat rows of grapevines as they sloped down the hill toward Cayuga Lake. The lake's surface was as smooth as a blue mirror and it sparkled as it reflected the bright sunlight. Mother Nature had blessed them with a spectacular day, a day that produced the beginning of a smile in the corners of Lucia's mouth. Every vista from her winery was breathtaking and even in her hung-over state the scene before her lifted her spirits.

The winery, along with its extensive vineyards, occupied a large tract of land on the west side of Cayuga Lake, the largest of the eleven finger-shaped lakes located in central New York State. The lakes were once ancient rivers until the glaciers advanced from the north. Like half-mile thick ice chisels, they dug deeper and deeper into the river beds to form the staggeringly deep, long, and narrow chasms. When the last glaciers gouged their way through, they deposited massive quantities of rocks at the southern ends of the river beds, sealing them off forever. And when the glaciers melted they filled the chasms with water forming the lakes.

A Sunday afternoon this beautiful would surely draw people in. They loved to drive around the lakes, have brunch or lunch, browse in the gift shops and sample wines at the wineries. A number of the Finger Lakes had wineries scattered along their shores, but the highest concentrations were located between the two largest and longest lakes, Cayuga and Seneca, the one to the west of Cayuga. That fact made it easy for people from the nearby cities to visit most of them in a single day trip.

Luke grabbed a stack of napkins from underneath the bar and carried them to where Lucia sat. He piled them in front of her and paused as if taking an extra close look at her. "I thought you'd be here earlier. Did you have a bad night?"

Lucia rubbed her eyes and massaged her aching temples. Knowing he had indirectly been referring to her habit of drinking on Saturday nights irritated her. He meant well, she knew that, but she had to say something. "Everyone has their jobs to do around here and I certainly don't have to explain to you or anyone else what time I get here or even if I get here at all. Now do I?" Her last three words were drawn out and emphasized with a glaring stare.

"No, you don't." Luke's jaw was set as he divided the napkins into three piles.

Lucia instantly felt remorseful. She had upset her brother with her harsh words and angry stares once too often and she always hated doing it. He'd been so good to her and he didn't deserve a tongue-lashing every time he said something that hit a nerve.

"I've got a wicked headache," she told him. "Do you have any Tylenol behind the bar?"

Luke produced a bottle and set it in front of her without making eye contact. "How many do you want?'"

"I need about twenty, but I'll settle for three."

Luke tapped the pills into Lucia's hand. "Here you go."

"Thanks." Lucia washed the pills down with the entire glass of water Luke had given her. She felt Luke's eyes on her.

"I'm concerned about you," Luke said. "I hope you know that."

Lucia lifted her eyes to his. "I had a bad night and I didn't get a whole lot of sleep." A few hours of sex with the young woman she'd picked up at Georgie's had only given her a fleeting respite from her misery. After she dropped the woman off at the bar and drove herself home, the anguish that had sent her to the bar in the first place attacked all over again with a renewed vehemence. Half a glass of straight vodka provided no relief and only when a hint of light peeked over the lake did she fall into a fitful sleep. It hadn't been enough to revive her physically or mentally and it certainly didn't restore what little stability she clung to on a daily basis.

"I thought that was the problem. You've got circles under your eyes and you're not in a very good mood."

"How right you are about both." Lucia stole a few crackers from the bar.

"You haven't eaten a thing this morning, have you?"

"My stomach's messed up. Maybe I'll eat later."

"You were out drinking last night."

"Right again, Luke." She had to exert considerable effort to hold her tongue. He was annoying when he hovered over her like a mother hen. "Do you have more questions? Get them all out now while you have the chance."

"Just one." Luke leaned his elbows on the bar in front of her.

With tightly closed lips, Lucia braced herself for a lecture.

"How long are you going to keep on drinking like this whenever you have a bad week or a bad day or a bad night?"

"Why should you give a shit, Luke?" There I go again, she thought. She didn't tell her brother that she'd had a dream about Devin. They were lying in bed holding each other and as she woke up she could actually feel Devin in her arms. The first time she'd slept with Devin and held her against her body she knew with total certainty that was where she always wanted to be at the end of every day. Now she ached because of the loss of it.

"Now, you know damn well I care and you know you want me to, so stop talking like a smartass. This is the third time this week you've been hung-over and if you keep it up you're going to make yourself sick. I, for one, am not willing to stand around and let that happen."

"I don't care if I get sick. Sometimes it hurts too much to be sober."

Luke gazed steadily into his sister's eyes. "It's more than sometimes."

"It hurts to be sober almost every day, okay? Is that closer to the truth?" What could she say? He was right. It was definitely a lot more than sometimes.

"Maybe I worry about you too much, but I don't know what else to do. It kills me to stand by and watch you fall apart when you get one of these bad spells."

"I don't mean to cause you grief."

"This isn't about me. It's about you," Luke reminded her.

"I know. Believe me, I know."

"You also know I'm always here for you, don't you?" As if Luke sensed he might have been pushing too much, his face softened as well as his tone.

Lucia nodded her answer. She wished his simple reassurances were enough to make her heal once and for all so these episodes would come to an end.

"It wasn't your fault, you know," Luke said.

"That's what you always tell me, but--" Lucia didn't bother to finish her thoughts. No matter how often Luke spoke those words, no matter how many times she repeated them to herself, like a prayer or a mantra, they were still only words. She never derived any lasting benefits from hearing them or saying them. It was an irrefutable fact that she didn't cause the car accident that had ended the life of her partner, Devin. She was neither there nor was she driving the car that had hit Devin's car. Still, she felt responsible for the chain of events that had led to the death of the woman she loved.

Misfortune had dealt her a nasty blow, had severed her from everything that made up the sum and substance of her life. The blow had been swift, incisive, and had left her with a deep wound she was convinced would never heal. Those who cared had tried to remind her that the pain would pass and to some degree it had. But despite their kind words and well-meaning advice, she remained tormented by the things she couldn't reconcile.

Death, an incomprehensible and merciless concept, was tough to grasp and no matter how hard she tried she was unable to come to grips with the fact that an adorable woman like Devin could have been in this world one second and gone the next. She was gone as fast as snapping your fingers or slamming a door in someone's face or squashing a spider with the sole of your shoe.

Luke put his hand on top of hers. "But what?"

"But I can't believe it." Lucia lowered her eyes and shook her head. "I can't." It was her fault she'd lost the most important person in her life. Her actions and words had set in motion the series of events that had led to Devin's accident. She didn't doubt for a minute that she'd made it happen one way or the other and she wondered how she would ever be able to forgive herself. When she learned of Devin's death she went numb all over. She fell to her knees and couldn't breathe. The first thought that came into her head, the only thought, was that it should have been her.

"I know you blame yourself," Luke said. "But you need to accept that whatever you did wasn't what caused the accident and you need to find a way to forgive yourself."

"I know, Luke, but I can't."

"You have to if you're going to get on with your life."

She looked up at him. "Ever since the accident, I've had my ups and downs. After I got through that horrible first year I started to have longer and longer periods when I felt better. But I still have times when I fall into a bottomless pit and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I can't seem to find a way out."

"Tell me how to help you."

"Don't you get it? It should have been me. It should have been me that died, not her. I was supposed to pick up that fucking cake." Lucia pounded her fist on the bar several times. "Fuck that fucking cake!"

Luke took his sister's hand and held it. "That doesn't change the fact that it wasn't your fault. It was a freak accident. She could have gone to get that cake and come home safely. Why can't you accept that?"

"I want to. You don't know how much."

"I'm not going to tell you I'm sorry it wasn't you instead of Devin. I loved her like a second sister, but I also love you and I'm glad you're still here with us." He paused as if he wanted to give his words a chance to sink in.

"It hurts to be here without her."

"God, Lucia, I'm sure it does, but you are here and you need to get past this. Maybe you should get some help, talk to a professional."

She shoved his hands away. "Give up on that idea, will you please? I don't want to talk to a stranger. I've thought about it and I've decided I don't need any help."

"Okay, okay. Sorry I brought it up."

"Well, don't bring it up anymore. I can handle my problems myself." Although she'd never admit it to her family, Lucia knew she should have gone for grief counseling a long time ago. Everyone had suggested it at one time or another, but she had stubbornly stood by her refusal to go. She simply could not bear to talk about Devin to some doctor or try to describe how much she had meant to her. She might die if she was forced to remember how warm and soft Devin's mouth was, how sweet she smelled or the way her silky skin felt under her hands.

Luke was silent as he wiped the entire length of the bar despite having done it earlier. When he finished he came back. "Forget I even suggested it. Why don't you take the day off, go home, and get some rest? We'll be okay without you."

"I think it would help me more if I stayed here with you. Being alone is intolerable when I get this way and if I don't keep busy I might go mad." She tried to smile, but her efforts felt insincere, even to her.

"All right, if you think that's the best thing for you."

"I do. Being around you keeps me sane."

"I wish you'd tell my wife that the next time you see her."

This time Lucia did smile and it was genuine. "I'll be sure to do that, although I can't guarantee she'll agree with me on that point."

Luke smiled back. "She won't. How about some coffee?"

"I'd love some. The caffeine might help my headache."

"Luke poured her a mug and fixed it the way she liked it.

"Thanks." Lucia took her first sip. "God, that's good."

"Hold on there," Luke said as he brought a bakery box out from beneath the bar and handed her a glazed donut. "Have one of these. I bought them on the way in."

"God bless you." Lucia took a big bite and chewed it.

"It's not the healthiest breakfast, but you have to eat something."

"This will do for now. I'll have a sandwich later on." The donut made Lucia realize how hungry she was. "These may not be healthy, but they sure are good."

"I know. They're too good. We're going to have a lot of people today. I feel it in my bones." Luke pointed to the windows. "Look at that day out there. It's perfect."

"So it is. If I didn't know better, a day like this might almost make me believe that the world is a beautiful place." Lucia finished the last of her donut and washed it down with more coffee. The strong liquid had begun to infuse her system with a much needed dose of energy.

"The world is a beautiful place. You'll think so again someday."

"I hope you're right." Lucia wiped her sticky fingers on a napkin. "Let me work the tasting bar this afternoon. It will keep my mind occupied."

"Whatever you want to do."

"Who's coming in today?" she asked.

"Kim and Rob," Luke answered. "Kim will handle the gift shop as usual and when Rob comes in he can help you and work the register."

"What about you?"

"Since you're going to be here for a while, I'd like to work in the vineyards for a couple of hours and then do some inventory in one of the storage buildings for maybe another hour. Is that okay with you?"

"Go ahead. Do what you need to do."

"Call me on my cell if you don't feel good and you need to go home."

"I will. Actually, I'm feeling better already."

"Good." Luke walked the length of the tasting bar, his eyes roaming around as if checking to see if everything was in order. Then he came back. "You're all set up."

"I know. I saw you do it."

Out of the blue, Luke hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Where is my head at? I almost forgot to ask you how your lunch with Carolyn went."

"It went very well. I should have called her a lot sooner. I can't believe I've been back this long and haven't bothered to see one of my best friends. It's not right."

"Was she upset about it?"

"A little, but she knows what I've been through. I think she was more disappointed that she couldn't be there for me and help me through this."

"Your friends could be a big help to you if you let them," Luke said. "How did it feel to be back at Cornell?"

"The campus hasn't changed much except for a few new buildings." Lucia knew that Luke had asked because she'd met Devin in graduate school. They fell in love there and being on that campus would forever transport her back to one of the most treasured times in her life. "Being there brought back memories, but I knew that would happen. What I didn't expect was that I was able to deal with it better than I thought I would. Sometimes I can actually think about her and not crumble into a heap of rubble."

"See, that proves you're doing better."

"Maybe," Lucia said.

"No maybe about it."

"Before I forget, Carolyn wanted me to tell you she got her PhD in biochemistry and now she's a full professor. We'll have to call her Doctor Kramer."

"Good for her. She always did have more than her fair share of brains."

"She sure did. When she described what she teaches and what she does in the lab she might as well have been speaking to me in a foreign language. I couldn't understand half of what she was saying."

"That's not your field."

"I know, but I own a winery and I think I should know more about the winemaking process. I should at least know what she's talking about."

"You'll learn more as we go along," Luke said. "What does she teach?"

"The biochemistry of fruits and flavonoids--I think that's the right word--and other technical things I never heard of. I can't remember everything she told me, but I know it was about the chemicals found in wines and the processes that affect the subtle flavors and aromas of wines. About half of her work is research."

"She must be an expert wine taster. We should invite her over and have her try some of ours. I'd be interested in hearing what she has to say about them and I'd enjoy seeing her again."

"I already did. She's going to call and let me know when she can make it. After we had lunch, she had to rush back to work and we didn't have enough time to catch up on all the things we wanted to talk about."

"That's something for you to look forward to. Now let's get to the most important reason you went to see her. Did she know of any winemakers who might be available?"

"She did. She knows a very talented woman. She's a Cornell grad, too, with Masters Degrees in enology and viticulture."

"Super." Luke appeared pensive. "A woman, huh?"

"She's a French Canadian. Her name's Juliet Renard."

"The woman part really doesn't bother me and I don't have to tell you I'm impressed with her credentials, but a Canadian? I thought we were seriously considering hiring a European winemaker like a few of the other wineries have done."

"We were, Luke, but I liked what Carolyn told me about her. She's not from Europe, but she's had extensive training in France, Australia and New Zealand."

"That might even be better."

"That's what I thought. Carolyn told me she heard Ms. Renard was a brilliant student and an innovative winemaker. She was adamant that we should grab her before someone else does. Winemakers like her don't come along every day, she said."

"That's quite a recommendation."

"That wasn't all Carolyn had to say. She firmly believes Juliet has the potential to be one of the best winemakers in this entire area.

Honestly Luke, I think she sounds like she might be perfect for us."

"I'm beginning to think so, too."

"And I like the idea of hiring a woman," Lucia said. "She'd have the honor of being the second female head winemaker in the Finger Lakes and given that I'm one of only two women who own a winery here, I'd like to be the one to give her an opportunity to break into a traditionally male-dominated profession. Having her would also get us a lot of attention and publicity and we could use that."

"No doubt about that. Where's she working now?"

"She's the assistant at Speckled Toad Vineyards, but she's already given them her notice. She told Carolyn she's looking for a head winemaker position."

"They make some great wines over there." Luke scrunched his face up and paused briefly. "Wait a minute. I think I read something about her."

"You probably did. Carolyn said there were quite a few articles about her in the local wine tabloids a while back."

"I probably read them and then forgot her name."

"Carolyn gave me copies so you can read about her again if you want to. She sounds like she has all the qualifications we're looking for, doesn't she?"

"And then some. Did you call her yet?"

"She's coming Tuesday morning for an interview." Lucia refrained from revealing her excitement as she waited for a reaction from Luke.

"Great! That's just great!" Luke pumped his fist in the air, the corners of his mouth stretched almost to his ears.

"I thought you'd be happy about it."

"You bet I am," Luke said. "You had better make her a good offer."

Lucia didn't conceal the first genuine happiness she'd felt in a long time. For once she was filled with hope for the future although she knew it probably wouldn't last that long. "I'm Italian, Luke. I'll make her an offer she can't refuse," she said, trying to sound like Marlon Brando in The Godfather.

"That's funny, Lucia, but you need to work on your Marlon Brando." Luke went on to repeat what his sister had said giving her his best imitation.

"I can't compete with that."

"Pretty good, huh?" Luke got serious. "Everything's falling into place, just like we planned. I have a feeling this is going to be our best year so far."

"I promise you it will be." Lucia understood that he meant the winery, but she had hopes that the next year to be a better one for herself as well. She wanted her life back. She wanted herself back, or at least the best parts of the person she used to be.

"This winery is growing so fast I can't keep up," Luke said. "The café's finally open and we're getting more visitors every week. This coming harvest will be our biggest one to date and we're going to need to make a lot more wines. In a few years I want us to be the best winery on the lake. I also want--" Luke stopped abruptly. "Listen to me going on and on. We've been over all of this and you want the same things I do."

"You know I do." For the first time since Lucia had literally crawled out of bed, she felt she had a fighting chance of making it through the rest of the day. A tiny spark of hope flickered somewhere deep inside in the dark desolation that had so often defined her existence these last two years.

"We're going to get there."

"You're the one who got us off to such a good start," Lucia told him. The first year, Luke had produced ten thousand cases of wine and they had sold every last bottle before the autumn tourist rush ended. The second year, he tripled that amount and added several new wines to their inventory. He also planted large sections of new vines each spring in order to give them the grape producing acreage they would need to increase their future wine production more than tenfold.

"I appreciate the praise, but you know as well as I do that we need someone who can make the kinds of wines that will keep us competitive with the top wineries in the state. I don't have that kind of expertise and I can't produce the types of wines or the quantity we need when I have to manage the vineyards."

"Managing the vineyards is what you love to do and you're good at it," Lucia said. "And the wines you've made for us so far have been very good."

"Maybe so, but I'll be relieved when all I have to do is grow the grapes."

"It won't matter how many wonderful varieties of grapes we grow if we don't have someone who can make wonderful wines from them."

"My point exactly and a lot of them." Luke nodded his head. "The way our wines have been flying off the shelves, we won't have enough to last the summer let alone the fall. We need to get more bottled."

"We could sell a lot more wine and do a lot more if we had a larger inventory. We could get our wines featured at local restaurants and distribute to local liquor stores."

"I leave those kinds of things in your capable hands, Lucia. You're the MBA and the marketing executive."

"Former marketing executive," she corrected.

"Excuse me. The point is that you're the one with the business degrees. I trust you to hire the right person for the job. After all, it's your winery."

"I may own it, but I think of this as our winery. You know that. I want to know what you think of her before I make any decisions. I'm not hiring anyone you don't approve of or anyone you don't think you can work with."

"Fair enough," Luke said.

Chapter Three

ON TUESDAY MORNING, ten minutes before she was scheduled to arrive for her job interview, Juliet Renard made a right turn off the main road at the huge wooden sign marking the way to Casa Parisi Vineyards. The golden arrow carved into the sign led her onto a narrow unpaved road that wound down the hill to the winery, which she could see in the distance. There were a number of buildings, many of them utilitarian, but her eyes were drawn to the weathered barn. Because Lucia had told her so on the phone, she knew the barn served as the main tourist building for the winery. It was beyond eye-catching. Its dignified posture and sturdy, seasoned wood seemed to proclaim that it belonged to this land. Surrounding it were beautifully landscaped gardens.

She'd left her apartment earlier than needed, not because she expected delays and not because she wasn't sure where the winery was located. There never was any traffic to speak of and she had already driven by the winery more than once. Rather, her reasoning had been more about making an impression. In her mind, being prompt would show her prospective employer that she was motivated, punctual and responsible.

Her line of work rarely required her to dress up, but today was an exception. She'd chosen to wear her new, light gray, spring suit with a simple green silk blouse. The outfit was elegant, yet understated, and if she looked as good as she felt, she was sure to make a good impression. The tailored jacket, sleeveless blouse, and straight skirt were a perfect fit for her willowy body. Even the sales girl had gushed with enthusiasm as she told her how well the colors complemented her fair skin and strawberry-blond hair. A simple pair of half-carat diamond stud earrings was the only accessory the outfit required.

Hopefully, today would mark a crucial turning point in her career. Until now, she'd always been someone's assistant, but if she took this job she'd be a head winemaker for the first time. Because this winery was a relatively new one, she'd have the opportunity to help them shape their future. That was a prospect she found creatively exciting and challenging at the same time. She had never liked fitting into set formulas or being stuck in someone else's tried and true methods.

If she landed this job and the owners were amenable, she'd use her skills and training to show them what she was capable of. The degree of autonomy they would be willing to grant her was the number one item on her list of things she needed to determine during her interview. She had earned the right to be on her own, had waited a long time for it, and she would not take the job if she didn't get it.

In the rearview mirror, Juliet eyed the enormous cloud of dust that followed her as her car bounced and rattled down the dirt road. One final right turn led her to the parking area in front of the barn and she all but disappeared into the swirling blur of dust as she came to a stop. She got out of her car, grabbed her suit jacket from the back seat and shook it out. A quick brushing of her skirt, an inspection of her shoes and she was ready. Wearing a fine layer of dust wasn't unusual around these farms, but today it seemed vital that she look her best.

Walking on the stone path through the flower gardens, she noticed someone peeking out at her through a window near the heavy wooden door. The door swung open just as she reached for the handle and a pair of inquisitive hazel eyes greeted her. They belonged to a striking young woman, more cute than pretty, with short, slightly curly brown hair. She seemed underweight for her frame as if some of her substance had shriveled away.

"You must be Juliet Renard."

"I am and I assume you're Lucia Parisi?" Juliet offered her hand.

"I'd like to deny it, but I'm afraid I can't." Lucia handshake was firm, although a bit hesitant and brief. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"I'm pleased to meet you, Ms. Parisi," Juliet said. "I hope I pronounced your first name correctly. I wasn't quite sure."

"You were close. The emphasis is on the second syllable. It's Lu chee a."

"It's such a pretty name."

"Thanks. It's my maternal grandmother's name and I love it."

"Does anybody ever call you Lucy or some other nickname?"

"No. I don't like nicknames," Lucia answered. "What about you? Does everyone call you Juliet or do you go by Julie or another nickname?"

"I prefer to be called Juliet. I like my name."

"I guess we feel the same about our names."

"I guess we do, Ms. Parisi." Juliet stood in place, aware she was being scrutinized by Lucia's penetrating stare. Lucia's eyes were pretty enough to hold her captive and yet she couldn't help noticing there was something essential missing from them.

Lucia stepped back. "I'm sorry for staring at you. For some reason you don't look the way I expected you would. I'm not sure exactly what I expected, but--well, never mind. Please come in. And call me Lucia, will you?"

"I will if you want me to." Juliet walked past Lucia into the barn.

"I do. Did you have any trouble finding us?"

"No. I knew where you were. Word travels fast around here, especially when a new winery opens. I even drove by it once or twice to take a look."

"I've done that myself, not to look at my own winery of course," Lucia appeared more nervous than Juliet felt. "You know what I mean. All the winery owners want to know what the other wineries are doing."

"They do." Juliet rotated her head in every direction. The ambiance inside the barn was perfect for a winery. The peaked ceiling was comprised of exposed beams and all the walls were constructed from old planks of wood. Display racks filled with wine bottles lined the walls near the tasting bar and sales area. On the other side she could see a gift shop and in the middle a hallway that led to several other rooms. "I heard that this was one of the historic barn restorations. Is that true?"

"Yes, it's an 1820's barn from upstate New York."

"So, it was moved here," Juliet said, not needing confirmation. "It's spectacular. I read a lot about the barn restoration project in the papers. One of the wineries on Seneca has one and I've been admiring it for some time. I think this barn is even nicer. It must bring in a lot of visitors."

"It does and that's why we wanted one, besides wanting to preserve it. The barn was moved here piece by piece and reassembled in its original form. Any parts they couldn't restore were recreated to look like they would have originally by using aged barn wood from another source. I was amazed by how talented the craftsmen were."

"Don't you wonder how someone learns to do something like that?"

"It takes special skills and a real dedication to preservation."

"They have to love what they're doing," Juliet said. "It would be a shame to let all those beautiful barns crumble to the ground."

"I couldn't agree more."

That subject having been thoroughly discussed for now, Juliet introduced a new one. "Your flower gardens are beautiful. Did you plant them yourself?"

"I wish I could say I did, but we hired a landscaper. Too much work." Lucia smiled. "Before we do anything else I want to introduce you to Luke. He's waiting for us." She took Juliet to the tasting bar where Luke was working. A broad smile lit up his face when he saw them approaching.

"Luke Parisi, this is Juliet Renard," Lucia said.

"It's great to meet you." Luke offered his hand and shook Juliet's with unreserved enthusiasm. "Welcome to Casa Parisi Vineyards."

"It's great to be here." Juliet instantly had a good feeling about Luke Parisi. He was rugged and handsome by anyone's definition and he had an openness that made you want to get to know him. If first impressions counted for anything, she believed she would get along famously with him. Lucia seemed friendly, but cautious and reserved whereas Luke was quite the opposite.

"We're going to my office so we can talk," Lucia said to Luke.

"Stop and see me again before you leave, Miss Renard," Luke said.

Juliet nodded and followed Lucia to her office in the back of the barn.

ONCE INSIDE THE office, Lucia took the seat behind her desk and gestured to Juliet to take the chair across from her. "Please make yourself comfortable."

Juliet sat down and crossed her legs. "I was really excited when Carolyn told me you were looking for a winemaker."

"Carolyn and I are friends from way back and I respect her opinion. I went to her hoping she could recommend someone and she suggested I call you. What she told me about you was enough to spark my interest."

"What she told me about you interested me as well."

Lucia rested her elbows on her desk. "Then let's talk."

"Here's a copy of my current résumé." Juliet pulled some typed pages out of a large manila envelope and placed it on Lucia's desk.

Lucia leafed through it. "Carolyn told me about your educational background and I certainly don't have any issues with that. I'm a Cornell graduate myself only I got my undergraduate and graduate degrees in business."

"That has to help when you own a winery." Juliet realized she had stated the obvious and she wouldn't have if she hadn't have been so nervous.

Lucia didn't seem to notice. "Without a doubt and having ten years of experience in marketing doesn't hurt, either." She put the résumé down and directed the conversation back to Juliet. "I'll read this more carefully later on. Why don't you begin by telling me more about yourself?"

"I'm French Canadian, originally from Montreal. After I graduated I went to live in France where I completed an internship in the Burgundy region. When that ended I took a position as an assistant winemaker near Avignon. Then, because I had learned as much as I cared to in France, I moved to New Zealand where I worked as an assistant winemaker on the North Island in the Hawke's Bay region."

"At what winery?"

"Twisted Root Cellars. I don't know if you've heard of them. It's a small winery, but they're quite well-known for the quality of their wines."

"I've read about them. They're well-respected," Lucia said. "Please continue."

"After I left New Zealand, I moved to Australia and for the next two years I took another job as an assistant winemaker at a much larger winery. I wasn't job-hopping. I had a master plan."

"Tell me about your plan."

"I wanted to learn a variety of winemaking techniques. I was convinced doing that would someday make me a better winemaker. Every experience I had gave me additional skills I could use in the future. When I returned to the states, I spent another year working with a few winemakers in California. They were smaller wineries like yours."

"I don't know much about winemaking in France, New Zealand, or any of the places you've been to. Luke has been doing the winemaking since we opened and I still have a great deal to learn. He explained the basics and I've read about it, but mostly I focus on keeping up with trends in the winemaking industry. Can you tell me a little about what winemaking was like in those places?"

Juliet took a moment to formulate her response. "In France, every detail of making wine is regulated by laws and it's extremely formulaic. Here, the laws allow an enormous amount of creative freedom and that's important to me. New Zealand is a beautiful place and they make exceptional wines, but I wouldn't want to live there. Not because it isn't nice but because it isn't home to me. The Australians make fruit-forward wines that are bold and lush in character. Their wines are outgoing and down to earth like the Aussies themselves. Some wine connoisseurs say Australian wines lack the elegance, restraint and refinement so prevalent in European wines."

"Is that a bad thing?" Lucia asked.

"Not in my opinion. The Australians make good quality, moderately priced wines that do well on the market. The issue for me was that the entire winemaking process was automated. It was mass production and not the hands-on style that I prefer."

"What made you decide to come back to this area?" Lucia asked. "You could have been a winemaker anywhere in the world."

"I never planned on staying in those countries." Juliet paused. She wanted Lucia to know how much the Finger Lakes meant to her without sounding overly dramatic. In the end she chose to be honest and speak from her heart. "When I was a student at Cornell, I knew I would end up here. I love the quiet beauty of this area, the peacefulness. It speaks to my soul and I feel as though it's a part of me. I belong here, I always have, and I can't explain it any better than that."

"No need to. I feel the same way," Lucia said.

"I'm the sort of person who needs to work in a small, independent winery. I prefer to have an intimate relationship with the winemaking process as well as with the winery and its owners. Even though I don't own the winery, it matters to me that my wines bear my personal signature, my personal style."

"Tell me more about your personal style," Lucia said.

"I'd say it was fresh, innovative, and creative. I keep up with the latest trends and I'm not afraid to step outside the box and try something new. At the same time I'm firmly rooted in a classical foundation."

"Those are all things we're looking for," Lucia said. "And I love your French accent. I assume you're fluent in French?"

"Yes, I am. My parents spoke French and English, but they insisted we speak French in our home so we would become proficient in our native tongue. I'm aware my accent is still pretty heavy. I can't seem to get rid of it."

"Don't even try to. I find it utterly enchanting."

"Merci. Parlez-vous francais?"

"If you asked me if I speak French, the answer is no."

"At this point, I automatically think and speak in English unless I'm upset or nervous and then I have been known to revert back to French. And I usually do all my cursing in French. The words fly right out of my mouth." Juliet swept her hand from her mouth to the space in front of her as she said that.

"Being able to swear in another language comes in handy. I have a choice selection of Italian curse words I use when the occasion calls for it. Sometimes the same words said in English aren't nearly as gratifying."

Juliet laughed quietly. "It's good to have a wide range of both."

Lucia sat forward in her chair and leaned her elbows on her desk indicating that the next question held great significance. "Why are you leaving your present position?"

"I loved working at Speckled Toad. It's just that I'm more than ready to be a head winemaker and I would never have a chance to become one there since the owner is the head winemaker. And it's more than that. I want to work for a winery that will give me the freedom to use my skills and talents."

"What does that mean to you?" Lucia asked.

"I'd like to experiment with new grape varieties and make some innovative wines in addition to the established standards that any winery should offer." Juliet wondered if her ambitions would prove contrary to Lucia and Luke Parisi's goals. If they did she'd have to search for a position elsewhere. When Lucia didn't respond right away, Juliet felt she needed to elaborate. "I feel I have a lot to offer and I feel strongly about being able to use my abilities."

"Are you saying you don't want to be held back or tightly controlled?"

"I can't tolerate having my creativity stifled," Juliet answered honestly. "I feel it's only fair to make that clear from the start."

"You won't have that problem here and while we're making things clear, I'd like you to know that our expectations are the same as yours. We're looking for an innovative and creative winemaker." Lucia leaned back in her swivel chair. "You told me how you feel about this area, but I'd like to know why you want to be a winemaker here as opposed to somewhere else."

"This winemaking region is young and bursting with potential. It's like the Sonoma Valley was forty or fifty years ago. I'm convinced that the day will come when we'll be considered one of the world's premier wine producers and I find it challenging to be one of the pioneers."

Lucia sat up and leaned on the desk. "What do you see in our future?"

"We'll continue making wines from the native grape varieties grown here for over a hundred years as well as from the French-American hybrids we've developed. Those are the wines that characterize this region. We also need to make world class wines and that means we have to either succeed at growing European grape varieties or we have to come up with new varieties that will grow in our climate. It tests our abilities but I think we can do it. All you have to do is tell me something can't be done and I'll do whatever I can to prove you wrong."

"I admire that kind of tenacity," Lucia said.

"I also believe we need to emphasize our strengths," Juliet went on. "We're capable of making superior sparkling wines and we should make more of them. We should also produce more of the German style wines like rieslings and gewürztraminers. Our climatic conditions are very similar to Germany's and that means we can successfully grow those varieties and make world-class wines from them."

Lucia appeared pleased by Juliet's remarks. "Anything else you care to add?"

"We can make far better red wines than we do now."

"Luke says the same thing." Lucia sat back in her chair again. "We make all of our wines from the grapes we grow. Luke manages the vineyards so he'll be the best one to tell you what he's done so far. This coming harvest is going to be our biggest yet and the reason you're here is because we need someone with skill and vision to turn our precious crop into superior wines."

Everything Juliet was hearing made her more convinced that this winery was the one for her. The Parisis represented all the things she was searching for. "No winery can succeed without an expert winemaker and I don't say that to promote myself."

"We agree. That's why we need someone like you," Lucia said. "We'd rely heavily on your expertise, but we'd be a team. Our goals would have to be compatible."

"I have no problem with that," Juliet said. She let her reply sink in and then she said something she thought Lucia might enjoy. "Did you know the French believe geography and nature make the wine? In the Burgundy region, they have a saying that goes like this, 'Laissez le vin de se faire.'" It means, 'let the wine make itself.' What they mean is that the wine is made on the vine. That means as your winemaker I'd merely be assisting your grapes to become the best wine they can be."

"You're being modest," Lucia said.

"Not really, because it's all about the grapes," Juliet said. "Say you make the same burgundy wine every year and one year it's the best you've ever made. It could have been the amount of rain that fell that year or how much sunshine you had or a variation in the soil that made that wine taste better than the wines from other years. People have been making wines for thousands of years, long before they knew about fermentation, long before wineries had labs and long before it ever became part of a college curriculum."

"I never thought of it that way."

Juliet leaned back in her chair and took a deep breath. The interview was going well and her nerves had settled down. "Here's another of my favorite French sayings. 'The mark of a successful winery is the owner's footprints in the vineyards.'"

"That requires no explanation." Lucia grimaced. "And I'm ashamed to say you won't find my footprints in my vineyards. I've only been out there once or twice and I don't pay much attention to what goes on out there."

"I didn't mean to imply--" Juliet feared that she might have said the wrong thing, but Lucia did not appear offended in any way.

"I should get out there more often."

"You might want to do that, but the saying applies to me more than it does to you. It originated because traditionally, the owner was also the winemaker and it meant that the winemaker has to know what's going on in the vineyards. That's how we determine when the grapes should be picked and what wines to make from them."

"I'm glad you brought that up," Lucia said. "Luke wants to hire someone who'd be willing to be involved in growing the grapes. Your primary responsibility would be to make the wine, but we'd expect your expertise in the vineyards as well."

"That's what I'm looking for," Juliet said. "And don't let my appearance fool you. I'm stronger than I look and I'm not afraid of hard work."

"I'm sure you're not." Lucia stared at Juliet as if she were assessing her appearance. Lucia's gaze traveled the length of Juliet's body before coming back to her eyes without revealing what she might be thinking.

"One more question," Lucia continued. "We have seventy-five acres of land, fifty acres with mature vines on them and twenty acres of new vines. I'd like you and Luke to decide what to plant in the other five acres and in five or six years, I'd like to produce the amount of wine we're capable of producing based on our acreage. It would please us to no end to have twenty to twenty-five premium wines for sale by then. Do you think you can accomplish that for us?"

"I can and I will." Juliet let her promise hang suspended between them for the next few seconds. "You want a successful winery and I want to work in one."

Lucia cleared her throat and said, "As far as I'm concerned you're the person we're looking for." She picked up a couple of typed pages and handed them to Juliet. "Take a few minutes to read over this salary and benefits package."

Juliet smiled as she read an offer that far exceeded her expectations. At last she was going to be rewarded for all her years of hard work. She wanted to jump at Lucia's offer, but the voice of reason warned her to refrain from acting rashly. She owed it to herself to see the rest of the winery before she made a decision. "This is more than generous."

"I'm sure you'll prove yourself worth every penny," Lucia said. "Do you have any questions or concerns?"

"What about my work schedule?"

"I'll leave that up to you. You know what you have to do and I'm not interested in keeping track of you." Lucia stood up. "If there's nothing else right now, why don't I show you around?"

Chapter Four

ONCE THEY WERE outdoors, Lucia pointed to a large industrial building. "Let's start with the winemaking facility. It's over there." The tour and the rest of the interview were solely for Juliet's benefit, not her own. Before they'd even exited her office Lucia had made up her mind that she wanted to hire Juliet. She'd heard all she needed to hear and she saw no reason to interview any other candidates unless Juliet refused to take the position. Juliet was the perfect choice for them in more ways than one and interviewing other winemakers wasn't going to change that.

Lucia liked everything about Juliet, her love for her chosen vocation, the way she presented herself, her well thought out plans and goals, and most of all, her energy and determination. Her accent didn't hurt, either, or the way she formed her sentences or the way her eyes lit up when she recited one of her enchanting wine adages.

Although Juliet's physical attributes were not essential to the job and they hadn't influenced Lucia's decision, at least not consciously, the fact remained that Juliet was easy on the eyes. Her femininity was understated, a trait that Lucia had always favored. She was pretty in a youthful way and Lucia liked the splatter of freckles across the bridge of her nose. It made her look as if someone had flicked a wet paint brush at her. And then there was something about the way Juliet's strawberry-blond hair fell around her face in barely tamed waves.

Juliet suddenly stopped walking and pointed to a different building than the one they were headed toward. "What's that over there?"

"That's our restaurant. We just opened it."

"You have a restaurant? That's wonderful!"

Lucia's laugh was subdued. "We think so. It's nice isn't it?"

"Very. What wood is it made of?"

"Rough cut natural cedar planks." The exterior of the building had the appearance of weathered wood and yet it was unmistakably new. Lucia remembered telling the architect that she wanted it to blend in with the landscape and complement the overall look of the other winery buildings. The design idea was based on one of the winery restaurants she and Devin had dined at years ago during a vacation in the Napa Valley. Thankfully, she heard Juliet speaking before her mind took her back to that vacation.

"Could we walk over there and take a closer look?"

"Why not?" Lucia led the way to the front of the restaurant. She hadn't planned to include this in the tour because she knew she would have to answer questions when Juliet noticed the name of the restaurant.

At the front of the building, Juliet stared up at the carved wooden sign hung over the entrance, the sign that read, Devin's Lakeside Bistro. "Who is Devin?"

Lucia's instincts told her to come up with something plausible, something other than the truth. Then she realized that was a bad plan. If Juliet worked for her, she'd find out about Devin sooner or later. Although she didn't have to reveal much, what she did say ought to be the truth. Lucia tried to keep her voice even as she answered Juliet's question. "Devin was someone who meant a great deal to me and I built this café in her memory. She was killed in a car accident a couple of years ago."

"Oh, dear," Juliet said. "I'm so sorry."

"It happened a long time ago," Lucia said. Devin would have loved the restaurant as much as she would have loved living in the Finger Lakes area again. And even though they'd never talked about owning a winery, Lucia knew that Devin would have loved that just as much. An overpowering, physically painful feeling of loss and despair cut through Lucia so quickly it almost made her knees buckle.

"Are you all right?" Juliet asked. "You seem upset."

"I'm fine. Would you like to see the inside?"

"If we have the time."

"We have time for a quick look." Lucia climbed the steps and unlocked the double doors. She continued into the main dining area, an expansive room with a vaulted ceiling made of natural wood beams. She noted that Juliet's eyes were immediately drawn to the immense floor to ceiling stone fireplace that occupied the entire back wall. "I know. The fireplace makes quite a statement."

"It's enormous!" Juliet spun around as she scanned the room. "And the view from these windows is breathtaking."

"I'd be perfectly content to look out at this scenery all day every day for the rest of my life," Lucia said. She felt her eyes tear up with emotion. Her words spoken out loud had made her own the fact that she would be in this place for the rest of her life, the only unknown factor being the quality of that life. Would it persist on and on, one hollow day piled upon the previous one, an existence rather than a life, an existence without comfort, peace, happiness, and love?

"I feel the same way." Once again Juliet broke into Lucia's thoughts.

Lucia turned away and dabbed at her eyes. She had better move this tour along and get out of the café before Juliet noticed how emotional she had become. With Juliet in tow, she showed her the rest of the inside areas and then took her outside so she could see the awning-covered decks for outdoor dining.

Juliet spent a minute or two taking in the scenery before her. "This is beautiful. Who wouldn't enjoy eating out here? I can only think of one or two winery restaurants that are this close to the lake and have views as spectacular as yours."

Lucia leaned against the railing and smiled. How could she not feel better while she was in the presence of such an upbeat person? "Why don't we go see the winemaking building now? I'm sure you can't wait to see it."

WHEN JULIET ENTERED the lab, she gasped out loud and covered her mouth with her hand. Leaving Lucia in the doorway, she flitted from one place to another caressing the stainless steel counters, touching a beaker here, a test tube there and tracing the tips of her fingers over the top of every piece of lab equipment within her reach. In the recesses of her busily engaged mind she saw her behavior from Lucia's eyes and wondered what Lucia thought of her.

"I never expected this," Juliet said once she settled in one spot.

"It's completely climate controlled."

"I couldn't ask for a better lab." Juliet faced Lucia, who appeared fascinated by her unrestrained gush of excitement. It occurred to Juliet that she might look ridiculous, but she didn't let that dampen her spirits as she inspected everything for a second time. "It's so shiny, so new, and so full of possibilities."

"I'm glad you like it." Lucia waited patiently as if to give Juliet plenty of time to admire the lab before she made her leave it. "Whenever you're ready, I'd like to show you something else."

"I'm ready. Lead the way."

At the far end of the winemaking facility, Lucia opened another door and held it for Juliet. After Juliet entered, Lucia went in behind her.

Juliet found herself in a modern lounge containing a leather sofa, a large chair with an ottoman, a small round table with four chairs and several lockers. Lucia opened a side door and showed her a large changing area. Off of it, another door led to a bathroom with a toilet stall, sink and a walk-in shower. This was getting better and better.

"I'm not used to so much luxury," Juliet said. "I won't have to go outside and walk to another building to use the bathroom and I could shower and change before I go home. You know how dirty this work can be."

"Not first hand, but I figured it out by looking at Luke and the other workers. That's why I had all this put in here. Come on, we have a lot more to see."

Juliet broke away from Lucia as they made their way through the building. She ran over to the DiFrechesci press and Milani crusher/destemmer and stood by them. With her hand she reached out to caress each one in the same way a lover would. "These are the very best you can buy."

Something else caught Juliet's eye and she dashed off again in another direction, this time to see the stainless steel fermentation tanks. They stood in a row, majestically, like a towering metallic Stonehenge. Lucia had scarcely caught up to Juliet when she took off again to get a closer look at the stacks of oak barrels lining one wall of the main storage area. "Are these French oak?" she asked Lucia as she touched one of the barrels.

"All the barrels on that wall are," Lucia confirmed. Then she pointed to the opposite wall. "And we have American oak barrels stacked against that wall."

"I like to experiment with American oak," Juliet said. "And the barrels cost a lot less. Unfortunately, only the French oak imparts the proper flavor to certain types of wines."

"That's why the wines aged in French oak cost so much more."

"You mean that's why they're worth so much more."

"I suppose that's more to the point." After a brief pause, Lucia asked a question. "What do you think of our winery so far?"

"Every winemaker dreams about working in a winery like yours. There'd be no end to what I could accomplish."

"Then you'll take the job?"

"I'd like to talk to Mr. Parisi before I give you an answer." It was all Juliet could do to keep herself from shouting out that she would take the job. She wanted to jump at the chance. Casa Parisi had it all and it excited her that she might be a central part of their future. Nevertheless, she'd have to work with Luke Parisi on a daily basis and she wanted to hear what he had to say.

"I'll take you to him after we finish here and leave you two alone so you can talk to him without me there." Lucia glanced around. "If you needed anything else in the way of equipment or whatever, we could get it for you. I want you to have whatever you need if you decide to work for us."

"Thanks, but honestly, I think you have everything."

"Well then, let me take you to Luke."

JULIET WAS QUIET as she approached Lucia's office about an hour later. Lucia was at her desk staring intently at her computer monitor which prompted Juliet to knock on the door frame before she stepped inside lest she startle her. "It's me."

"Come in and sit down."

"Mr. Parisi and I finished talking."

Lucia stopped what she was doing and focused her attention on Juliet. "I suppose he made you try some of our wines. He's so proud of them."

"He did and you both should be proud. They were excellent. Maybe I shouldn't say this, but I think your husband is awfully nice."

"My husband?" Lucia laughed soft and low, but then she got serious again. "Forgive me. I'm not laughing at you. It's just that Luke is not my husband, he's my brother."

"I thought--my mistake." Juliet didn't know what else to say.

"It's my fault. I should have told you he was my brother when I introduced the two of you. I guess I thought you knew, I mean that Carolyn had told you. The three of us grew up in this area and we went to school together."

"Carolyn mentioned him, but she didn't say anything about his relationship to you. I just assumed with the same last name and all--" Juliet felt embarrassed. "You don't look that much alike and I hope I haven't offended you."

"Not at all," Lucia said. "Technically, I own this winery. Luke works for me and he shares in the profits." Lucia sat forward and spread her hands on the desk. "Why don't you sit tight while I go talk to him? I won't be long."

"Take your time. I need to use the ladies' room."

NO MORE THAN ten minutes went by before Lucia came through the door of her office. She sat in her chair and faced Juliet. "We want you to come and work for us. If you need a day or two to think things over, go ahead and do that. I'm not going to bring anyone else in for an interview until I hear from you."

"I don't need any more time. I'd love to work for you."

"Great. That's great." Lucia got out of her chair and shook Juliet's hand as if to seal the deal. "You're our new winemaker. When can you start?"

"Would you mind if I started a week from next Monday? I have to finish out the rest of this week at my current job and then I'd like to take a week off."

"I'll put you on the payroll beginning a week from next Monday, but don't come in until Tuesday. We're closed on Mondays and since it would be your first day it wouldn't make any sense for you to come in. Luke is sometimes here on a Monday if he has to do something, but he may not do that and I may or may not be here."

"What time should I come in on Tuesday?"

"I'll have Luke meet you in the barn around eight o'clock.'

"I'll be there."

"I'm going to have him show you around and help you with whatever you need. It will take you weeks to get familiarized with the winery and the two of you can arrange to do that however you want to."

"That sounds fine," Juliet said.

"Where do you live?"

"I have an apartment in Ithaca. My address is on my résumé."

"Do you live alone or with someone?" Lucia reached for Juliet's résumé and grabbed a pen. "In case there's an emergency or something."

"I live alone except for my cat, Sabrina Star, and I told her never to answer the phone or the door if I'm not at home."

"Cute." Lucia glanced up, briefly. "Do you have any phone numbers in addition to your cell phone?"

"I only have a cell phone. Feel free to call me whenever you need to."

"The same goes for you." Lucia handed her a card. "Here's all our numbers."

"Just so you know, I'll be out of town the week of my vacation."

"Thanks for telling me, but I'm sure I won't need to reach you." Lucia stood up. "I guess we're done for now unless you have any questions."

"None I can think of." Juliet gathered her things.

"I know I speak for Luke when I say we're both overjoyed that you've decided to join us. We'll see you a week from next Tuesday."

"Thank you for choosing me. I can't wait to get started."

"We can't wait until you get started, either, but first enjoy your vacation," Lucia said. She took Juliet's hand in hers and shook it gently. "Let me walk you out."

"No need to. I can find my way."

Juliet left Lucia's office. She didn't know whether she should go over to Luke and say something before she left, so she merely paused to give him a wave when she passed by the tasting bar.

He signaled her to stay where she was and rushed over. "Well? What do you think? Did you come to a decision?"

"Yes I did. Your sister said yes and I said yes."

"Yes!" Luke hissed, pumping his fist.

Chapter Five

TWO DAYS LATER, Lucia's friend Carolyn came to visit her at the winery. Lucia took her on a tour and when that was over, she brought her back to the barn for a wine tasting and light lunch. She had called Carolyn a pitiable two times since moving back from Atlanta, a fact she was deeply ashamed of. Adding to her shame was how she had turned Carolyn down twice, once when Carolyn had offered to meet her for dinner and then again when Carolyn invited her to her home. To her way of thinking it was a shabby way to have treated the woman who had been one of her best friends for so many years.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to invite you here," Lucia said. "I can't tell you how awful I feel about it."

"I understand. You weren't ready."

"It's kind of you to say that," Lucia said, knowing she'd been a coward. She hadn't been able to summon the courage to face someone from her past because of what it might stir up inside of her. "But I'm not sure I can let myself off the hook that easily."

"Why not be good to yourself and give it a try?"

"I will, but I need to get this out. You know what else I feel bad about?"

"You feel bad about enough if you ask me," Carolyn said gently.

"I feel bad that I've never met your partner," Lucia went on, not needing to confirm the truth of Carolyn's comment. "Why don't you bring her here for lunch? I've heard so much about her and I'm anxious to meet her."

"She'd like that." Carolyn let her pleasure show. "And you'd like her."

"Tell me more about her."

"She's beautiful. She's wonderful. And she teaches courses in food and wine pairing, special event planning and catering. She has a web site called Through the Grapevine and she's a regular columnist for several magazines and wine tabloids."

"What's her last name?"

"Richards. Lisa Richards."

"The name sounds familiar. I might have read something by her."

"You probably have. She's written a lot of articles about the wineries."

"I never even asked you how you met her," Lucia said.

"We met at a wine conference. We were both scheduled to speak on the first day and on the second day we were on a panel together." Carolyn's expression changed.

"You're crazy about her, aren't you?" Lucia was no stranger to the feelings that had produced the look on Carolyn's face. She'd never seen her own face whenever she talked lovingly about Devin, but from the way she'd felt inside, it had to have been the same as Carolyn's. Her mind flashed some of the other faces she had shown to Devin, distorted faces, stressed and impatient, faces with glaring eyes and tight lips. Faces she regretted to this day.

"Completely. I was attracted to her from the start and she didn't hide the fact that the feeling was mutual. The conference was about to end when it dawned on me that she'd get away if I didn't do something fast, so I asked her out on a date and here we are. She's the love of my life and I was very lucky to have found her."

"I'd know that if I had bothered to keep in touch." Lucia frowned as their eyes met. "I wanted to see you, but I couldn't handle being around anyone from my past. It didn't have a damn thing to do with you, I swear to God."

"I never thought it did and there's no need for you to be sorry, Lucia. Why don't you let it go and why don't we just continue where we left off?"

"Why don't we? I can't change what I've done, but I'll do better, I promise," Lucia replied. "Now, let me get the tray of cheese, crackers and fruit I made earlier. I want you to eat something so you can try a few of our wines."

"This is the most beautiful bar I've seen anywhere around." Carolyn said when Lucia returned with the food. She ran her hands over the glossy wooden surface and then helped herself to a cracker and a piece of cheese. "The top of it is as smooth as glass."

"Almost everything in here is made of rough old barn wood, except for the top of this bar. It's made out of natural cherry and I insisted it be very smooth and polished. "I told the carpenter we couldn't have our customers getting splinters." Lucia ate a wedge of apple and followed it with a cube of cheddar.

"No you certainly can't. No splinters." Carolyn reached for another cracker. "I have to say, Lucia, this is a beautiful winery. I can hardly believe you own it."

"Sometimes I can't believe it myself." Lucia had never thought that the events in her life would ultimately lead her to this place.

"I'm happy for you and I'm happy for myself, for selfish reasons. I like having you back in the area even though I wish it had been due to happier circumstances." Carolyn carefully selected a slice of pear. "Casa Parisi. I like the name."

"It's my home now and I wanted to name it The House of Parisi, only in Italian. The literal translation would have been la casa di Parisi, but I didn't want the name to sound pretentious and I didn't want it to be too hard to remember."

"Or pronounce," Carolyn said. "Most people know casa means house so they should be able to put it together." She paused and then said, "You know something? I suddenly realized that I have no idea where you actually live."

"I live in the white cottage at the bottom of the hill. It came with the winery and land purchase. It's right on the lake and I love it, although it feels quite strange to live alone after being with someone for so many years."

"Now that I have Lisa, I don't know how I lived alone for so long."

"You get used to having someone around," Lucia said.

"And all that comes with it." Carolyn paused while they shared a moment of silent understanding. "You've got a great spot up here on the hill. The gardens, the vineyards and the views of the lake--it's like your little slice of paradise."

"Devin would have loved this. I wish she were here to share it with me and at the same time I'm aware that we wouldn't be here at all if she were still alive." Lucia felt herself fading away into her private cache of memories. She and Devin dreamed about coming back to the Finger Lakes to live one day. They kept the crazy idea tucked away and pulled it out whenever their fast-paced life in Atlanta became too much for them.

Knowing Carolyn was waiting, Lucia pushed her thoughts aside. "I never thought I'd be coming back here at all, let alone without her. This whole horrible mess has been like one big cosmic joke."

"A tragic joke," Carolyn said. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost Lisa."

"I used to say the same thing."

"We all say that when we really love someone, don't we?"

"Yes we do and we all hope it's something we never have to find out." Lucia found it hard to move her mouth. She heard the thickness in her voice, the unsteadiness of her words. "Cherish every minute you have with Lisa. I don't have to tell you it can end just like that." Lucia snapped her fingers.

"No you don't." Carolyn placed her hand on Lucia's.

"All I have left of my life with Devin are my memories and they're beginning to fade a little more with each passing day." Lucia stared at their joined hands while she said that and then she lifted her eyes to meet Carolyn's.

"I didn't come here to upset you," Carolyn said. "I can see why you avoided seeing me for so long. It stirs up too much pain, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does." Lucia let Carolyn's hand go. "But I need to talk about his. Luke says I should see a professional and I told him I don't want to do that. I'd much rather talk to a good friend like you."

"I'm right here," Carolyn said. "Any time you need me."

Lucia shook her head. "I'm not getting over this as well as I should. After Devin died I was totally devastated. I tried to be strong. I let Luke bring me home and I started a new life for myself. I went through the motions of living that life every day and yet I couldn't move on emotionally. I know I need to do that and I know that's what Devin would want me to do. She left me everything she had and I didn't deserve any of it."

"Why do you say that?" Carolyn asked.

"I took her for granted so many times. I'd get so wrapped up in that fucking job I had I'd forget to show her much I loved her. That's something I should have done every day we were together. I should have treated her as if each day might have been our last."

"She knew you loved her, Lucia. I'm sure she did," Carolyn said.

"I'm not," Lucia clutched her fist against her chest. She knew what she'd just said was a lie, but she couldn't seem to stop punishing herself, being hard on herself. "I don't know if I can continue to live this way." The frank bleakness of that declaration took her by surprise. She hadn't expected to say such a thing out loud. Having thoughts like those prowling around in the dark corners of her psyche was bad enough, but to verbalize them to someone else was even worse.

Carolyn held Lucia's hand again. "Promise me you'll call whenever things get that bad for you. Please, promise me you will."

"I promise," Lucia whispered. "It's just so hard for me to talk about it and most of the time I have no idea what I need."

"That doesn't matter. I only want to be there for you and spend time with you. I want you to be a part of my life--of our life. We haven't seen each other for quite a while, but we were close friends once and I hope we'll be close again."

"We will be. For a while there I was a total wreck and I didn't want to inflict myself on anyone. I've been hard to get along with and I've been told I've been a bitch."

"Really? I've never thought of you as a bitch. You were always one of the nicest people I've ever known."

"You remember me as I used to be."

"You're still you, Lucia. You haven't changed."

"I think I have. I've done things I would never have done before just to get through this and keep my head above water. I've been drinking a lot."

"You've done what you had to do," Carolyn said. "I don't know how you get over something like that, how anyone does."

"You don't get over it, not ever. You become someone else, a stranger who finds a way out of the darkness, a way to survive."

"What else can you do?"

"There are other choices, you know."

Carolyn took a second. "If you're talking about suicide, it's not a good one."

"I know. Otherwise I would have opted out a long time ago."

"I'm glad you didn't," Carolyn said. "No one wants to lose you."

"I know and I don't want to die anymore. I want to live," Lucia said. "I just want to feel better while I'm doing it." Lucia faced her friend. Carolyn's eyes were moist with tears and overflowing with compassion.

"You need to be with people who care about you. We'll make plans before I leave today." Carolyn sniffed. "Now hand me a tissue and let's get on with this wine tasting. You did promise I could try them all."

"I haven't forgotten." Lucia handed Carolyn a couple of tissues and took one for her own use. "Let's begin with the chardonnay."

"Yes, let's." Carolyn dried her eyes, blew her nose and held her wine glass out.

Lucia poured approximately two ounces into Carolyn's glass and then read her the description of the wine verbatim from the tasting list. "'It was aged in oak for six months and finished with a hint of residual sweetness.'"

Carolyn swirled the wine, breathed in its aroma and then slurped it noisily over her tongue before swallowing it. "This is outstanding. I detected vanilla and toasty oak aromas and a nice ripe apple flavor. I think a chardonnay can get a bit harsh if it's aged in oak too long."

"Does that one seem harsh to you?"

"No. The oak flavor is subtle enough to allow the other flavors to come through. It also has good acidity and just the right touch of sweetness."

Lucia poured another sample of a different white wine. "We named this one Summer Winds. Vidal blanc blended with a little Cayuga. We've sold a lot of it."

Carolyn tasted the wine the same way she'd tasted the first one. "It's good. Crisp and fruity and I can taste hints of tangerines. This would go well with a fresh fruit salad and it would be great as a sipping wine, well-chilled, on a hot summer day."

"We could use comments like those when we write our descriptions," Lucia said. "I should write them down." She grabbed a notebook and a pen from under the bar.

"Give me that. I'll write them down as we go along."

Four or five wine samples later, Carolyn pushed her glass aside and ate a couple of crackers which she spread with an herbed goat cheese. "Luke did a great job with those wines. Let me take a break before I try your reds."

"Getting woozy?"

"Not really. My taste buds need a break," Carolyn replied. "Speaking of Luke, am I going to see him today?"

"He's in the vineyards, but he'll be back soon. He can't wait to see you."

"By the way, I'm thrilled you hired Juliet Renard. She called me after she came for her interview and she was ecstatic about the prospects of working for you."

Lucia leaned on the bar. "Thanks for recommending her."

"Don't you think it's remarkable that we all went to Cornell? Juliet was Lisa's friend and I met Lisa and she introduced me to Juliet and we became friends. You and I were friends and now I introduced you to Juliet and she's going to work for you. Small world, isn't it?"

"That sounds pretty complicated, but yes, it is a small world. And I think it could be more than mere coincidence. Do you think the fates might have brought us all together as part of some master plan?"

"I believe in things like that," Carolyn said. "I take it Luke liked her?"

"He was quite taken with her."

"She has a great reputation and if what she did for the other winery is any indication of what she's capable of, your future will be in excellent hands."

"You like her because she's a science geek."

"We geeks have to stick together," Carolyn said. "But there are other reasons why I like her. I love intelligent women and she's a wonderful friend and a nice person."

"She did seem very nice. Sensitive and artistic, I thought," Lucia said.

"She is, come to think of it," Carolyn said. "By the way, Lisa wants to interview you and Juliet sometime for an article. She says both of you are very newsworthy. Very few women own wineries and Juliet is one of only two female winemakers. Yours will be the first winery around here to have a woman owner and a female winemaker."

"I like the idea of making history," Lucia said. "Tell Lisa she can interview us. We need all the publicity we can get."

"Lisa said to let Juliet settle in and then let her know when you're ready." Carolyn paused as if she had something on her mind. "Juliet's pretty, don't you think?"

"I guess she is. Straight, too, I assume?" Lucia added.

"It seems so. I know she dates men every now and then."

"That's great. Lisa had better get that interview done sooner rather than later. Juliet's liable to run off and get married before we get through a second harvest."

"God, I hope that doesn't happen."

"You and me both. And for the record, I did notice how attractive she was. She looks French, if there's such a thing, and more like an artist than a scientist. What made her even more appealing was how intense she was about being a superior winemaker. Her enthusiasm and her passion sparked a renewed sense of optimism in me."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"In my case it is," Lucia said. "Are you ready to try some of our reds?"

"Bring them on."

Chapter Six

JULIET PARKED HER car in front of the barn at Casa Parisi Vineyards just before eight o'clock. Her vacation had served its purpose, providing her with a much needed mental and physical break. She had driven to Montreal to visit her father and had stayed there until Thursday morning. The rest of the week was spent at home stocking up with groceries, doing every piece of laundry, and catching up on her reading. Once Tuesday rolled around she was sufficiently bored and more than ready to start her new job.

As soon as she walked through the door of the barn she spotted Luke standing by one of the display racks in the sales area. "Good morning, Mr. Parisi."

Luke flourished an expansive smile. "And a good morning to you, Ms. Renard. I'd recognize that accent anywhere."

"I guess it gives me away, doesn't it?"

"Let's just say I'd know it was you without seeing you." Luke pulled bottles of wine from five or six open cases sitting on the floor near where he was standing. One by one, he slid them into the appropriate racks. "You look rested. How was your vacation?"

"Very nice," she said. "But now I'm excited about getting started."

"That makes two of us." Luke brushed his hands off on the sides of his jeans. "I'll finish this later. How about some coffee before we get started?"

"I'd love some. I didn't have any at home," Juliet said as she followed him to the bar. "But don't make it just for me."

"It's already made. We make it every morning." Luke set a couple of mugs on the bar along with napkins, sugar, milk and two teaspoons. "I don't know about you, but I can't start the day without coffee."

"I can't either. I need at least one cup." Juliet fixed her coffee and took a sip. "This is really good. What is it?"

"It's hazelnut cream." Luke drank from his mug. "Lucia brought it in one morning and now I'm addicted to the stuff." He stared at Juliet for a moment before letting her in on his thoughts. "Have I told you how good it is to have you with us?"

They chatted while they drank their coffee and when they were done Luke cleared everything away. "I'll introduce you to the rest of the staff tomorrow. Susan and Dennis are graduate students from Cornell who are working with us as part of their work-study program and we have two full-time employees, Kim and Rob. That's all of us except for a few part-time vineyard workers and a crew of seasonal workers that help during the harvest. Oh, and there's the café staff, but they're not here today."

"That's all right. I'll meet everyone eventually."

"Yes you will, Ms. Renard. Now where would you like to begin?"

"First of all, call me Juliet. There's no reason for us to be formal, is there?"

"No there isn't. You'll soon find out we're not formal around here. But if I'm going to call you Juliet, I insist that you call me Luke."

"I feel more comfortable already." This was one of those rare moments in life when you know something with absolute certainty and Juliet knew she was going to get along famously with Luke Parisi. Beyond that, she had an inexplicable feeling that one day she would be grateful for having met him and his sister. It was as if their coming together was predestined. For now, though, he had asked her where she would like to begin and she still owed him an answer. "Why don't you tell me about your wines? I'd like to know what you're currently selling."

"You can taste them if you want."

"I will taste them and soon, but I have to do that later in the day. Why don't we just talk about them for now?"

"Fair enough," Luke said. "I've made wines from our first two harvests using only a portion of our grape crop. The rest I sold to other wineries because it was too much for me to deal with." Luke shrugged his shoulders. "I did as much as I could and we didn't want to have grapes rotting in the bins."

"You did what every new winery does," Juliet said. "From now on, we'll be using all of your grapes, I promise you that. Within the next four or five years you're going to have an extensive inventory of wines for sale."

"We want our winery to be one of the best. And we don't want to be making inferior wines. When you taste the ones I've made so far I want you to be brutally honest."

"I'll tell you what I really think," Juliet said. "Lucia told me what you both want and I want to assure you that your hopes and dreams are in good hands with me."

Luke's face lit up. "We're going to do all right, you and me."

"I know that, Luke. Now, why don't you show me your most popular wines, the ones that sell the most and after you do that I want to know which ones are your favorites and which ones are Lucia's favorites. When we finish with that, I'd like you to take me to the cellars and show me what you've got aging and what's being stored. That way I can take over as soon as possible."

"That's going to take some time."

"We'll keep at it until we get it all done," Juliet said. "Oh, and I want you to let me know if any wines are ready to be bottled so I can get that done as soon as I can. I'm sure you'll need more wines for the summer and fall tourist rush."

"The more the better," Luke said. "You're a take charge person. I like that." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a keychain and a set of keys. The keychain was a miniature pewter corkscrew with the winery's logo on it. "These keys are for you." As he separated each one, he explained what it was for.

"Thanks." Juliet took the keys from him and put them in her pocket. "Lucia said you would like me to be involved in the vineyards."

"That's true," Luke said. "I want your input every step of the way."

"Then you'll have it. Whenever you can, take me out and show me what grapes you have growing so we can talk about the wines we're going to make from them."

Luke nodded. "We ought to get down to business, then. It'll take us weeks to cover everything."

"We'll get through it in no time. I catch on quickly."

"Let's start with the wines." Luke picked up a tasting list and went on to tell Juliet the story behind the making of each wine. Once he had covered the entire list, he took her into the sales room and showed her the wines on the display racks. They talked without interruption until lunch time.

Around one o'clock, Luke announced that he was hungry. When Juliet told him that she hadn't brought any lunch, he said, "We like to eat around here and I won't have you going hungry. I've got cheese and crackers in the back room and some fresh fruit I cut up this morning. Would you like to try one of our wines with lunch?"

"I would. Could we sit outside while we eat?" Around the lakes, winters were long, stinging-cold and bitter. The spring, when it reluctantly showed up, was full of damp and chilly days. That meant when warm weather finally burst on the scene everyone wanted to be outdoors to soak up each precious ray of sunshine.

"We'll do that. Wait here." Luke returned in a few minutes with the food. He poured two full glasses of chilled white wine and handed them to Juliet. "This is that chardonnay I told you about. You carry these and follow me. We'll sit out on the deck."

Once they were situated, Juliet took a sip of the wine. "This is good, very good. I can see I'll have to make some very superior wines to live up to your standards." The look on Luke's face clearly implied that her compliment had meant a lot to him.

The warm day was tempered by a cool breeze. Juliet tucked a renegade band of hairs behind her ear to keep it from tickling her face. The sky, resplendent with massive cloud formations, had taken center stage in another show of splendor produced and directed by Mother Nature. The color of the lake matched the color of the sky as though the sky had tipped over and spilled its bright blue tint into the water.

"Look how the surface of the water sparkles," Juliet said between a slice of apple and a wedge of cheddar. "It always makes me imagine that tiny silver rafts are floating on the surface. Or maybe sequins."

"I swear this is God's work. There's no other way to explain such beauty." Luke finished the rest of his wine. "Since the day is so perfect, why don't we go out to the vineyards after we finish lunch? We can spend all day tomorrow in the cellars."

LUKE DROVE HIS truck up the hill to the main road and turned right. After about a half mile or so, he made another right onto a set of dirt tire tracks that led them into a vast stretch of vineyards. After another two or three hundred yards, he stopped the truck and turned off the engine. "Let's get out here."

Juliet followed Luke as he walked between the rows of trellised vines.

"I hope I didn't embarrass you when I told you to use the bathroom before we went out," Luke said. "I'm so used to telling my kids to do that because as soon as we get way out in the fields, one of them has to pee."

"You didn't embarrass me. How many children do you have?"

"We have a boy, Jaden and a girl, Carly. He's nine and she just turned seven. My wife, Natalie, is an elementary school teacher in Ithaca. She works in the gift shop during the summers whenever she can. My kids will be hanging out with us a lot after school lets out, so you'll meet them all soon enough."

"I'll look forward to it," Juliet said.

Luke steered the conversation in another direction and began to tell her about the vineyards. "We own all the vineyards on both sides of the road as far as you can see and we also have large tracts of land down the road a piece. I suppose that's why we have such ambitious plans." Reaching with his hand, he touched a cluster of tiny grapes. "I love growing grapes. Incidentally, you won't have to worry about any of the grunt work in the fields. My crew and I will take care of everything."

"If you need help I don't mind doing physical work."

"I'd rather you concentrate on making the wines. I'll be happy if you come out here with me once in a while to monitor the grapes."

"I have to do that. I need to know the grapes, see them, touch them, smell them and care about them. If I don't, I can't turn them into wine." Juliet wondered if Luke would understand what she was saying. "Does that sound crazy?"

"No. I get that, I really do. Come out and visit them anytime you want to."

Juliet glanced up at him. "Do you have any riesling grapes?"

"Acres of them," he said. "There were a few acres of mature riesling vines here to begin with but I planted more the first spring we were here. Those new vines should be producing clusters this coming fall. And while we're on the subject, I have some riesling wine aging in the cellars that should be bottled."

"I'll take care of that as soon as I can," Juliet said. She loved making wines from riesling grapes. "Riesling grapes have such refined structure and loads of delicate floral and fruity flavors. Most of all, I love the mineral qualities they impart. It reminds me of fresh water flowing from a mountain stream."

"I'd like to have several rieslings in our inventory, including a sparkling one."

"You will," Juliet said. "What about gewürztraminer? Do you have any?"

"Plenty of them. They're down the road."

"That's another favorite grape of mine," Juliet said.

"We could use a really good gewürztraminer," Luke said, matterof-factly. "The first year, I replaced the majority of our native grape varieties with French-American hybrids and a few European varieties. You'll have plenty to work with this year."

"It sounds as if you've been doing all the right things. If you want to be one of the top wineries you have to have good red wines and a variety of premium wines that have vintage years. You obviously know that."

"I couldn't agree more. Were you at the conference last July in Rochester where the Cornell labs introduced the new red varieties?"

Juliet indicated that she had been there.

"I planted the Noiret and the Corot Noir grape varieties. They're not bearing fruit yet, but we should have good grapes in a couple of years."

"I'm glad to hear that. We ought to be growing the grape varieties developed for this climate. Maybe someday, if we make good quality wines from them, the winemakers in other parts of the world will be saying that the Finger Lakes are known for their superior Noirets or Corot Noirs. That would set us apart."

"I think we think alike, you and I, at least when it comes to making wine," Luke said. "I've always wondered why the wineries are so intent on copying California and Europe when we would be better served perfecting our own style of wines."

The more Juliet and Luke talked the more she longed to get into the cellars and into that shiny new lab so she could do what she loved to do. For now, she'd have no choice but to finish the wines Luke had already started, but after the harvest she'd be in charge of making the wines from start to finish.

Luke interrupted her thoughts and what he had to say made her even more eager to get to the cellars. "That's not all. We've got cabernet franc, chelois, lambrusco, Baco noir, and quite a few other red varieties. I've got wines made from all of them aging in the cellars. You can start working with them as soon as you're ready."

They walked between the vines as Luke reviewed his vineyard maintenance routines. Although it was in keeping with what most of the wineries did, she listened intently. It was clear that he knew what he was doing and that he cared about the quality of his work. In fact, she would have managed the vineyards in exactly the same way if they had been hers.

Luke had just finished describing a new pruning technique when he paused to glance at his watch. "It's getting late. Why don't we head back?"

"I want to say something, Luke."

"What is it?"

"I won't let you and your sister down."

"I'm sure you won't. I knew that when I met you." Luke began walking back to the truck. "When we get back, you can go home early if you'd like."

"I'd prefer to look around a little before I leave for the day. I want to spend some time getting familiar with your wines."

"Do whatever you want. I won't be going home for another hour or two. Just let me know if you have any questions."

ONCE INSIDE THE barn, Juliet noticed that Lucia's office door was partially open. Although her intuition warned her not to disturb Lucia unless invited, she chose to ignore it. To her, it seemed worse that Lucia might think she had failed to say hello to her. After some silent deliberation, she approached the doorway and knocked on the wooden frame. "Good afternoon."

"Hello, Juliet and welcome." Lucia didn't glance up from the paper she was writing on. "Everything all right so far? Has Luke been showing you around?"

"Everything's fine and he has." Juliet told her how she and Luke had spent the day and waited through the extended silence that ensued. It went on to the point of discomfort and she didn't know whether to continue standing there or whether to quietly disappear. Was that all the response she was going to get? Had she been summarily dismissed?

Lucia was a strong, successful woman and yet, the first day Juliet had met her, she'd sensed something seething behind her eyes, kept securely under wraps beneath her voice. It scared Juliet, made her feel cautious. Lucia had sharp edges and Juliet did not doubt for a moment that they could cut deep. She felt uneasy in her presence, off balance, and at the same time drawn to her in a perplexing way.

During her interview, Juliet had been deeply touched by Lucia. It had started when Lucia told her who Devin was. Juliet had noticed a slight quivering in Lucia's voice. All the life had drained from her face the instant she had spoken Devin's name and Juliet saw tears forming in her eyes. Perhaps it was compassion that drew her to Lucia or perhaps a combination of compassion, curiosity and innocent fascination.

"Luke and I talked about making a sparkling riesling. He said you would like that because you were fond of the Italian sparkling wines."

"He's right, I would." Lucia glanced up briefly before her attention went back to the papers on her desk. "We're going to be meeting on a regular basis for the sole purpose of discussing any ideas you and Luke want to tell me about."

No mistaking that dismissal, Juliet thought. She was about to slip through the door when Lucia spoke again as if there hadn't been any break in the conversation.

"I bought a new laptop for you and a printer for the lab. And I got you one of those Mobile Broadband gizmos so you can go on the internet no matter where you are. I'll pay the monthly fee of course. You'll have it all in a day or two."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Lucia kept her eyes down. "We'll get you set up with an e-mail account and I'll forward anything of interest that comes my way. I'd appreciate it if you'd do the same for me."

"I get quite a few newsletters and a lot of information about winemaking techniques that you might not get. I'd be happy to forward it to you."

"You do that."

Juliet endured another uncomfortable period of silence.

"Before I forget," Lucia said at last. "Let me know if you want subscriptions to any of the professional journals and I'll pay for them for you."

"Thank you. I will."

Lucia looked up from what she was doing, her face unreadable. "Is there anything else? If not, I've got a lot of work to do."

"No, nothing else. Just wanted to say hello."

"Well, you've done that." Lucia flashed a thin smile that barely moved her mouth. "See you tomorrow."

Without another word, Juliet turned and walked out. On her way to the wine sales room, she heard the door to Lucia's office close. The Lucia she had just encountered was nothing like the one she'd met a mere two weeks ago. This one was as cold as the biting winds of January.

"It's going to be chilly around here," Juliet mumbled. That pronouncement made her feel sad. For some reason she had hoped that she and the Parisis would become close, like one big happy family, at least at work. Now the folly of that hope had been driven home. Lucia was her boss and she had just reminded her of that in no uncertain terms.

Over the years, Juliet had learned certain techniques for getting along with difficult people. Steering clear of her new boss wouldn't be a practical option given the situation, but she would do what she could to minimize the potential for conflict between them. She would keep a low profile, mind her own business, stay out of Lucia's way, and keep her nose pressed firmly against the grindstone.

She could do that.

Chapter Seven

JULIET FELT AS though someone had pushed the fast forward button as the next several weeks tore by with lightning speed. Today was Wednesday, three weeks and one day after her first day on the job at Casa Parisi Vineyards. Her priority, once she and Luke finished the most intensive part of her orientation, had been to process the wines remaining in the cellars. She labored long and hard every day, blending, stabilizing and tasting wines for bottling. Nothing interfered with that task save for an occasional visit to the vineyards with Luke or a planning meeting with him and Lucia.

First she bottled a cabernet franc she felt had been aged the proper length of time and then she bottled two more red wines in order to quickly increase their inventory of reds. One had been a full-bodied Baco noir that Luke had aged in French oak puncheons and the other a red table wine Juliet created by blending two red wines that were stored in the cellars. With Lucia's approval, they named the new blend, Simply Foxy. Within the next week, she intended to bottle another chardonnay and then two blended whites she'd been working on in the lab.

In the planning meetings with the Parisis, Lucia was all-business and anytime Juliet talked to her she was polite and civil, nothing more, nothing less. The cutting edges and anger scorched fringes of Lucia's demeanor didn't seem to be interfering with anyone's ability to get things done although it did make Juliet feel ill at ease. Her relationship with Luke was in direct contrast to the one she had with Lucia, but since it was something she could not control, she tried not to dwell on it.

Today, Juliet had worked especially hard and after a late lunch, she felt like taking a walk. Leaving the lab and the pervasive smell of fermenting grapes behind her, she hiked down the road toward Lucia's cottage under the assumption that Lucia would not be at home. Maybe she'd sit on Lucia's deck for an hour or so and let the rippling water soothe her senses.

As she walked to the back of the cottage, she saw Lucia sitting on the edge of the dock. Unsure of what to do, she stood still. Should she go back before Lucia spotted her or should she make her presence known? Her chance to flee wouldn't last long, but she found it impossible to leave. The slump of Lucia's back and the way she held her cheek in her hand made Juliet want to go to her.

"Don't be alarmed, it's only me," Juliet said as she approached. "Do you mind if I join you for a few minutes?"

Lucia seemed to have to think about it. "I guess it's all right." Her features relaxed and she patted the empty space next to her. "Have a seat."

Juliet lowered herself onto the deck next to Lucia. "Luke told me where you lived. I hope you don't mind me coming down here."

"I don't mind." Lucia's eyes were fixed on the lake.

"It's the first sunny day we've had all week," Juliet remarked.

"I know. We complain if it doesn't rain and then after it does for two or three days we're sick of it. I came down to have some lunch and ended up out here. The sound of the water relaxes me."

"I love being near the water." This small talk seemed shallow to Juliet even though she was glad to talk to Lucia about something other than business. It was a start.

"Did you eat lunch?" Lucia asked.

"I ate before I came down here."

Lucia's eyes finally found Juliet's and she held on to them briefly. "Don't you think the Finger Lakes are unique?"

"No one's ever asked me that," Juliet said. "I suppose they are."

"Do you know why they're called the Finger Lakes?"

"They look like fingers on the map?" That was the obvious answer, the only one Juliet had ever heard. What could Lucia possibly have to add?

"That's what most people would say, of course, but I read an even better explanation. I read that the Iroquois Indians believed the Finger Lakes were the imprint of the Great Spirit's hand upon their land."

Juliet took a moment to savor the image Lucia had created in her mind. "That's an interesting and beautiful explanation, much better than mine."

Lucia stared into Juliet's eyes, her soft smile sad. "It is beautiful, isn't it? Can't you picture the Great Spirit bringing his huge hand down and pressing it into the earth?"

Juliet smiled back, wondering what had made this woman so sad.

"What brings you down to my dock? Does Luke need me?"

"No, I just wanted to get some fresh air. I assumed you'd be in your office working or I would never have intruded upon your privacy."

"Don't worry about it. I think I'm suffering from an overdose of privacy." Lucia's eyes closed for a moment as she shook her head. "The truth is, most of the time I can't stand to be with anyone, not even myself." She opened her eyes and gazed at the water below her feet. "I shouldn't have told you that."

Without thinking, Juliet said, "I'm sorry."

Lucia's glance became a glare. "Sorry for me?"

"I only meant it was sad, that's all."

"Don't bother your pretty little head over it. It's not your problem."

"You're right. It's just that--" Juliet didn't complete her thought because Lucia had already retreated into her crust of ice. Why had Lucia revealed something that personal if she didn't want her to respond? Juliet made a mental note to keep her mouth shut the next time Lucia shared anything of that nature.

The awkwardness that followed made Juliet so uncomfortable she was ready to get up and announce that she had to return to work.

Finally, Lucia spoke. "How are things going so far? Do you like it here?"

"Things are going well." Juliet hoped her voice was steady. She didn't want to sound nervous or vulnerable in the presence of someone who already had the power to hurt her. What she didn't tell Lucia was that she wasn't sure she liked being at Casa Parisi because of her. If it weren't for Luke, she might be considering other alternatives.

"What are you working on this week?"

"I bottled the last of the Simply Foxy, I'm getting ready to bottle a chardonnay, and I'm working on perfecting the white blends we talked about last week."

"You're not wasting any time, are you? I tasted the new red wines recently and they were amazing. I especially love the Simply Foxy. It was rich and peppery, but it had a really smooth finish on the tongue. How did you come up with the name?"

"The pungent quality of the grapes from the lambrusca family is often referred to as being foxy. To create the blend, I used some wine from a lambrusca hybrid mixed in with a couple of reds from the cellars to balance the flavor out. It had a distinctively foxy character, so that's how the name came about."

"I know it's going to sell really well."

Juliet was pleased with Lucia's praise. Lucia's compliments would probably be few and far between, so she'd have to hang on to them whenever they were bestowed upon her. She tended to be sensitive, a trait she considered a defect rather than an asset, and she'd never perfected the art of letting caustic remarks roll off her back.

"If Simply Foxy is any sign of what you're capable of--" Lucia paused. "My brother tells me every day how much he likes you and how impressed he is with your work. We have more people coming here each week and Luke tells me that our wine sales have more than doubled compared to the same month last year. That proves to me that hiring you was the right move for us."

"It was also the right move for me," Juliet said. Or so she had thought.

"I haven't been as nice to you as I should have been. It's just that I--"

"There's no need for you to explain."

"Maybe not, but I wanted you to know I'm aware of how I can be." Lucia looked at the lake and then back at Juliet. "What else are you going to be working on?"

"As soon as I can, I'll bottle the white blends we talked about last week. I'd like to bottle the one we named Blue Lake in a long-necked blue bottle if you approve. It will look good with the label we designed. Luke and I discussed some ideas, but we haven't come up with a name for the other one yet."

"The blue bottle is perfect and I trust you and Luke to name the other blend. Just run it by me the next time we meet." Lucia didn't wait for a reply. "I'd like you to make one or two Champagnes for us in the future. People ask for them all the time."

"I can do that. I enjoy making Champagnes the traditional way by fermenting them naturally and aging them in the bottle. It's a complicated process and it takes a lot longer, but the results are worth it. We could start with a blanc de blancs since that's made using only chardonnay grapes and then we could make other Champagnes as long as we have the right grape varieties. I'll have to talk to Luke about that."

"I don't care how you do it or how long it takes," Lucia said. "As long as you head us in the right direction and they turn out good."

"I've always wanted to make pink Champagne. I already have a name for it."

"What is it?"

"Pink City Champagne," Juliet said. "As you probably know, we'll have to call it New York State Champagne on the label to designate the origin of the grapes. Current regulations require that we do that."

"I'm aware of the laws. That's one area I am familiar with," Lucia said without any hint of edginess in her tone. "How did you come up with the name Pink City?"

"My mother lives in Toulouse, France. It's known as the pink city because so many of the buildings are made of pale pink bricks. It's really a charming place."

"I love the name," Lucia said. "We can do a little blurb on the label about Toulouse. People go for that sort of thing."

"Since we're talking about the future, I'd like to ask you something," Juliet said. "You have the right wines in the cellars to make a dry rosé and I'd like to do that in the next few weeks. Would that be okay with you?"

"I know the other wineries are experimenting with them," Lucia said.

"Yes, they are. And I know how to make a good one. Rosés can be made many ways and they run the gamut in color and sweetness. You also should have a semi-sweet rosé. You don't have one and they're always very popular. Rosés go well with spicy foods and barbecue flavors and that makes them a good wine for lunch and summer foods."

"Then make them for us," Lucia said. "We can put them on our café menu." Lucia smiled and paused as though she was wondering what to say next. "How do you go about making a rosé? Give me a quick lesson."

"There are a few different ways, but I prefer to use a process known as bleeding." Juliet went on to explain. "You begin by fermenting red grapes with the skins on and then you extract ten percent of the juice when you achieve the right color for your rosé. That juice is then aged in stainless steel tanks. Rosés tend to be thin and that method produces a more full-bodied wine while still retaining the delicacy rosés are noted for. If I feel it's needed, I blend in other red or white wines to enhance the flavor."

"I had no idea it was that complicated."

"It can be, but anything is simple if you know how to do it."

"Thank God your job is to make the wines," Lucia said. "We'd be in serious trouble if I had anything to do with it."

Lucia seemed relaxed, even lighthearted and when she was like this Juliet enjoyed being with her. If she would always be this way, work would be a lot more pleasant.

"You run the business," Juliet said. "That's important to everyone's success."

"Thanks for saying that." Lucia stared briefly and then she said, "Tell me something. Is your mind always busy thinking of the wines you're going to make even when you're not at work?"

"Mostly I think about it at work, but I confess, I do think about it at home." Juliet's cheeks felt hot. Lucia would assume she had nothing better to do and no other passions in her life. "A photographer sees pictures in their mind, an artist sees paintings in everything around them, and I think about grapes and wines."

"To me, you are an artist," Lucia said.

"I'm surprised to hear you say that. Most people don't get the creative aspects of my work." The subject matter was getting personal and Juliet reminded herself that they were about to cross the threshold into dangerous territory. Would she ever be able to carry on a normal conversation with Lucia and not want to reveal so much about herself? Would she ever get control of her need to know more about Lucia? To avoid conflict she decided to tell Lucia about an idea she and Luke had tossed around a few days ago.

"Luke and I want to freeze a section of vignoles on the vine this fall for an ice wine. We thought we'd call it Crystal Vignoles unless you have a better suggestion."

"The name is fine and I love the fact that you're going to do an ice wine. I want you to make the wines we want but I also want you to make the wines you think we need, the wines we haven't even thought about making. That's why we hired you."

"I won't do anything without consulting you and Luke."

"I know." Lucia seemed satisfied and changed the subject. "While you're here, I've been meaning to ask you if you'd go to the Atlanta wine competition with me in July. It's the third weekend."

"Of course, that's part of my job." Juliet discovered she was unexpectedly excited by the prospect of going away with Lucia. "I've never been to that one."

"We'll leave on Friday morning and come back on Monday. When we meet with Luke this week we'll decide which wines to enter. I'll get us registered, ship the wines there and make all the travel arrangements. I thought we'd share a room with two beds if that's okay with you."

"That's fine," Juliet said. "Have you been to any other competitions?"

"This will be my second. Luke took me to the Finger Lakes Wine Competition last year. It was a great way to network and get free publicity. I'm not invested in whether we win any medals, although if we do get one or two, I won't turn them down."

"The medals help sell wines," Juliet pointed out.

"I grant you that," Lucia said. "I have another reason for wanting to go to Atlanta. I thought I might visit some old friends while we're there. They were my neighbors when I lived there and I haven't seen them for a while." Lucia studied Juliet's face.

Juliet waited out the silence, not sure what to say, but sure she shouldn't ask Lucia questions about her friends or her past. She was relieved when Lucia left things where they were and took the conversation in another direction.

"Tell me more about yourself. Were you born and raised in Montreal?"

"Oui." Juliet answered in her native tongue. Evidently, Lucia wasn't of a mind to steer clear of personal topics although this one seemed harmless enough.

"I like it when you speak French. It sounds beautiful."

"I only said, yes."

Her response made Lucia laugh. "True, but I understood it."

"C'est la langue de l'amour." Juliet loved French, loved to think it, speak it and hear it said out loud. It rolled off her tongue like a soft caress. She translated for Lucia. "It's the language of love."

"Deservingly so." Lucia still seemed amused. "Does your family still live there?"

"My parents divorced many years ago. My father re-married and he lives there with his wife and her two children from a previous marriage. My father and I aren't as close as I'd like to be, but I do go to see him about once a year."

"Where does your mother live?"

"She was originally from France. After they divorced, she went back there."

"I guess you don't see her very often, either."

"No. I've only seen her once since I came back from my training in France. She was never what I'd call maternal. She re-married a few years ago and she's totally absorbed in her new life. Her husband has money and they like to travel."

"You've been on your own a long time, haven't you?"

Juliet nodded, trying not to reveal the sadness Lucia's question had evoked. As much as possible, she tried to minimize the feelings of loneliness and isolation that had been an integral part of her life ever since she was a child. Her studies, her years of training, and her passion for her work had always been what she used to fill the void.

"I hope I didn't strike a chord." Lucia had noticed after all.

Juliet chose not to admit that she had. "Have you ever been to Montreal?"

Lucia shook her head. "Do you have any sisters or brothers?"

"I have one sister. She's ten years younger. My mother took her to France when she left my father and I stayed in Montreal. I saw her when I lived in France, but we weren't able to bridge the gap between us. Now she lives in Geneva with her husband and we call or e-mail each other two or three times a year."

"Luke's my only sibling," Lucia offered without being asked. "We grew up in this area, but now my mother and father live in Arizona. Mom despises cold weather."

"You said you used to live in Atlanta. Did you like it there?"

"It was nice." Lucia's eyes were dead again when they connected with Juliet's. In an instant she sprang to her feet. "I don't know about you but I have things to do. We'll talk again some other time." She headed for her cottage.

"Wait, I'll walk with you." Juliet struggled to get to her feet.

"Don't bother," Lucia said behind her. "Sit out there as long as you want."

Juliet stood on the deck staring as Lucia hurried inside and shut the door soundly behind her. That last question about Atlanta seemed innocent, but obviously it hadn't been since it had driven Lucia away. If Juliet had known it would upset her she wouldn't have asked it. She considered herself a kind, thoughtful person, although what was she to do when she didn't know what might trigger that kind of reaction? It seemed that every time she got two steps closer to Lucia, she did something that pushed her back four or five steps. Based on that formula she was getting nowhere fast.

Chapter Eight

ON THURSDAY EVENING Lucia walked into Ms. Georgie's bar and reclaimed possession of her usual barstool. Her treatment of Juliet during their conversation on the deck the day before had bothered her since it happened. Even now she cringed inside as she recalled how she had stormed into her cottage leaving Juliet sitting there alone like a fool. Juliet's question as to whether she had enjoyed living in Atlanta had posed no real threat and she had no reason to overreact the way she had. It would have been easier on both of them if she had just given Juliet a simple answer to a simple question.

Lucia had returned to her office that afternoon and had stayed there until the winery was closed. Only after everyone else was gone and Juliet's car was no longer out front did she walk to her cottage. She couldn't face running into Juliet and even though she'd thought about going to the cellars to look for her, to tell her she was sorry, she never did. How could she explain her behavior to Juliet? She couldn't even explain it to herself.

Intending to spend a quiet evening at home, she had taken a shower and afterward she had tried to take a nap, but her troubled thoughts would not let her rest. It wasn't only the way she had treated Juliet that kept her awake. Her most disturbing memories kept rising to the surface no matter how hard she tried to force them down. Finally, unable to tolerate any more torture, she threw on a pair of jeans and a chambray shirt and drove to the bar.

"How's business, Georgie?" Lucia asked when Georgie greeted her.

"No complaints. I own the only lesbian bar in town so business is as good as it's ever gonna get." With a twinkle in her eye, Georgie added, "I'm a monopoly."

"Even if you weren't, who could compete with this?"

"I'm glad I don't have to find out." Georgie frowned as though Lucia's true meaning had begun to sink in. "Hey, watch what you say. This place may not be fancy, but it's all mine and I'm proud of it. I'm doing what I want to do and I'm my own boss. What more could I possibly want?"

"Not a damn thing, I'd say," Lucia said. "How about getting me a drink?"

"Will do." Georgie slapped a coaster down on the bar in front of Lucia. "What brings you in here on this boring old Thursday night?"

"I thought about drinking at home, but they say that's a bad sign."

"Last I heard," Georgie said, "So is drinking yourself numb in some bar."

"Why the fuck should you care? I'm spending my money on your overpriced vodka. That's all you should care about."

"You're in a mood." Georgie leaned on the bar. "Just for the record, my vodka is the good stuff and it doesn't cost any more than anyone else's."

"I stand corrected," Lucia grumbled, stewing in her own juices. This wasn't the first time she'd shown Georgie her ugly side. She was probably damn sick of it by now.

"And also for the record, I am grateful for your business," Georgie added. "But that doesn't mean I'm not interested in you as a person."

"Forget I said what I said," Lucia grumbled. "Forget everything I said. Now would you please get me a drink?"

"Sure. No problem." Georgie moved to another section of the bar for a brief time and when she came back, she plunked Lucia's drink down in front of her.

Lucia lifted the glass and took her first long swig, flinching as the vodka stung her throat. "That's more like it." She wrestled a wad of crumbled bills out of her pocket and threw them onto the bar. "Keep them coming."

"Things that bad are they?"

"Yeah, things are that fucking bad. What of it?" As soon as those nasty words flew out, Lucia wished she could bring them back. Yesterday she'd been mean to Juliet and now she was attacking Georgie. No one was safe in her presence.

Georgie shook her head. "Can't seem to stop with the attitude, can you?"

Lucia didn't answer. She vowed to herself that she would make more of an effort to be civil. "Are you alone tonight? Where's Bernie?"

"Bernie has the night off. I don't make her work every night, no siree, not me. I just make her work every weekend." Apparently, Georgie had enjoyed her remark. Her sturdy laugh sounded as if it had rattled the bottles on the shelves behind her.

"What about your wife? Did she get lucky and get the night off too?"

"You are such a hoot," Georgie said. "Joan's at home and I don't make her work at all, not that it's any of your business. She comes in a lot because she enjoys being here with me. How'd you get on this shit, anyway?" Clearly, Georgie was no longer amused by their little repartee. Her brow was wrinkled, her lips clamped in a thin line.

"Oops, I guess we'd better talk about something else." Lucia scanned the bar. Some of the regulars were hanging out at a few tables and two women were seated at the other end of the bar. "Same old boring crowd, huh Georgie?"

"That same old boring crowd, as you call them, keeps me from going out of business during the week. Saturday night comes once every seven days and that won't do it."

"I only meant it was slim pickings," Lucia clarified.

"Does that mean you're on the prowl?"

"You sound like you disapprove."

"Hell, no, I don't have a problem with that. I'm privy to a lot of dyke drama around here and I'd be the last one to judge anyone for what they do. It's hard to believe looking at me now, but I was a heartbreaker in my younger years."

"You don't fool around now that you have Joan, do you?"

"No way. I value the life we have too much to bother with that crap. These days my world is getting narrower and my waistline is getting wider, at an alarming rate I might add." Georgie paused to snicker at what she'd said.

"That's cute, Georgie."

"I'm serious. My life is simple and I love it. I adore my wife and my dogs and I love this bar and that's plenty good enough for me."

"You're lucky. You're surrounded by love." Lucia's speech sounded slurred, even to her own anesthetized ears. God knows what she sounded like to Georgie.

"I am lucky and I'm no fool. Joan would beat my head to a pulp with that baseball bat she keeps next to our bed if I ever cheated on her."

"That's an incentive to behave." Lucia lifted her glass. "As to being on the prowl, this is all the company I need tonight." She made a show of draining her glass. "Looks like it's time for a refill. Why don't you get me one?"

Georgie grabbed the glass and got Lucia a fresh drink. Lucia downed half of it in two gulps. She would never pick up one of the locals and run the risk of running into her over and over again. Her rules were simple. The women she hooked up with were not told her name and she never took them home. Even Georgie didn't know where she lived or what she did for a living.

Georgie busied herself and chatted with other women at the bar, but no matter where she went she kept one vigilant eye on Lucia. Eventually, she must have run out of things to do and people to talk to because she leaned against the counter near the cash register with her arms folded across her chest.

Lucia waved her empty glass in the air. Even though Georgie was trying to be subtle, Lucia knew she was watching out for her.

Georgie frowned when she came over. "Another one?"

"Don't look at me like that. Just get the drink."

Georgie didn't say anything until she came back with the drink. "You should go easy on that stuff. I don't like to meddle in the personal affairs of my regular customers, but I'm no stranger to pain. Your pain will still be there when that vodka wears off."

"It helps for a while even if it doesn't last."

"That may be true, but here's what bothers me. You drove here and I don't want you driving home drunk."

"All right, Mother, I'll slow down."

Georgie snapped her comeback. "Calling me names doesn't upset me. I'd be more upset if I had to read about you in the newspaper tomorrow."

"You won't have to read about me. I'll be fine."

"So you say." Georgie leaned closer. "I'm all ears if you need to talk about what's eating away at you. It might help."

"First you're my mother and now you want to be my therapist?"

"Look, you--" Georgie shook her head and pursed her lips. "I don't want to be your mother or your therapist and right about now I don't want to be anything to you. Excuse the hell out of me for caring." Georgie turned a cold back and scooted to the other end of the bar to wait on a couple of women who were waving at her.

With her elbows on the bar, Lucia rested her face in her hands. When she took her hands away she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror behind the bar. The washed-out, brooding woman who stared back at her looked like a total stranger, and a miserable one at that.

Georgie came back a few minutes later with an unreadable face and an indifferent attitude. She cleared Lucia's empty glass without making eye contact and then sopped up the moisture on the bar with a rag. "Ready for another?"

"No." Lucia swung her legs around and slid off of the stool, holding onto the edge of the bar with one hand. "I'm going home. See you around."

"Leaving so soon?" Georgie's surprise registered in her voice. "Are you sure you're feeling okay to drive home?" "Don't worry about me. I'll drive slowly." "I'd sure like to see you drink some coffee before you go." "No thanks. I'll see you later." Lucia turned and left.

ONCE SAFELY INSIDE her cottage, Lucia went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. After changing into her pajamas she went into the living room and stretched out on the sofa. The decision to come home had been a wise one. She hated how she had treated Georgie, the things she'd said to her. She hated the cynical, bitter person she'd become. And she had left the bar because she knew that all the booze in the world wasn't going to help her tonight.

"Shouldn't I be doing better by now?" she asked the ceiling. Not so long ago, Luke's answer to that same question had been that it would take as long as it would take. He also reminded her that the world was a beautiful place and someday she would think so again. As implausible as that seemed to her, she prayed that he was right and with all her heart she longed for that day to come.

Her stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten in some time and her head throbbed, but she didn't feel like moving. Maybe after she shut her eyes for a while she'd feel better and she could get up and eat something, take a couple of Tylenol.

CALMLY AND DELIBERATELY, Lucia advanced through the endless series of rooms in the house. The floors and walls appeared off kilter and they wobbled and shook as though the entire structure was in danger of toppling over. Everything seemed blurred, unfamiliar, and distorted and yet she moved forward with purpose as if she'd been there before and knew exactly where she needed to go.

Like a warning gong, her heart hammered loudly against the inside wall of her chest. Something horrible awaited her, something she simultaneously dreaded and felt drawn to, something she had no strength to turn away from.

One creaking stair at a time, she ascended toward the muted glow of light emanating from the upstairs hallway. Soothing music floated in the air and she noticed that the door to one of the bedrooms had been left ajar. Pushing it open, she entered and paused just inside the room. There, in front of the bay windows, Devin sat in a chair with her back facing the door.

"Is that you, honey?" Devin's thin, lifeless voice dissipated into a puff of air before it reached Lucia. "Where have you been? I've been waiting for you for so long."

"You have? I thought that--they told me you--" Lucia could hardly speak. Devin had died, hadn't she? So, how could she be talking?

Lucia edged closer, her legs practically paralyzed with fear. The unearthly sound of Devin's voice, her ghostly form, and the fact that she had never turned around, terrified Lucia beyond comprehension. Step by step she forced herself to proceed. Her breathing had been reduced to short ragged bursts, her mouth was dry and her heart felt as though it would cease with each subsequent pounding. Still, she was powerless to resist the horror she knew awaited her.

"I missed you so much," Devin whispered as Lucia came closer.

"How can you be here?" Lucia began to sob. "You're gone. You died. You--you were in an accident." The woman she adored, the woman she ached for night after night, was sitting in front of her no more than a foot away. She reached out with a tremulous hand to touch Devin's hair. "I love you. I've missed you so much."

"I love you, too. I got the cake, Lucia, like you told me to. I got it, but I don't know where it is. Am I late for our party? Am I, Lucia? Am I?"

A bloody chunk of Devin's hair stuck to Lucia's hand as she pulled it back. She stared at it in abject horror, a feeling of foreboding ripping a hole in her gut as Devin slowly rotated her head. A scream tore out of Lucia, a scream that sounded as if it had been savagely ripped from her throat by the claws of a wild beast. Devin's hideously disfigured face was covered with thick, dark blood. Her left eye, dangling from a single bloody cord, was swinging on her crushed cheek bones as she moved. A glistening band of bone peeked from beneath the torn skin and shredded muscles of her forehead which had been split open from one end to the other. Lucia's screams reverberated off the walls of the squalid room. "Oh, God! Oh, God, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry."

LUCIA SAT BOLT upright on the sofa while her lungs fought to suck in enough air to keep her alive. Her pajama top was drenched and her head throbbed more than it had before she drifted off. Tears scorched rivulets down her cheeks and her eyes darted here and there as she tried to figure out where she was. The dream had been so real and so terrifying. She lay back down, but the heavy darkness in the room covered her like wet mud, threatening to smother the very life out of her.

Convinced that nothing would ever be all right again, she stood on unsteady legs and made her way into the kitchen. With shaking hands, she reached into the cupboard for a glass and filled it with ice water from a container in the refrigerator. After gulping half of it in front of the open refrigerator, she pressed the cold glass to her forehead.

As soon as she could breathe again, she closed the refrigerator and reached for the bottle of vodka she'd left out on the counter. After dumping the rest of the water, she poured a generous three fingers of vodka into the glass. The first mouthful shot through her veins like a jolt of electricity and the second mouthful eased its way into her being, bringing with it a preview of the blessed oblivion she craved.

The gentle embrace of sleep would not cradle her in its arms tonight. Past experience had taught her that. All she could do was turn on the television and wait until she saw the first glow of morning peeking over the lake. Maybe then she would sit on the dock and watch the sun rise and when it was light again she would go inside and try to sleep for an hour or two.

Chapter Nine

ON FRIDAY, FOLLOWING an entire day of bottling, Juliet dabbed at the mixture of perspiration and water droplets that had splattered all over her face with the cuff of her denim shirt. The humidity in the cellars had caused her to perspire and the water droplets had splashed on her face as she hosed down the floor. Deep in thought, she gathered the hose and coiled it neatly in a corner near the spigot. She was so deeply immersed within her mind she jumped when she heard Lucia call her name.

"I didn't mean to startle you," Lucia said.

Juliet turned. "I was concentrating so hard I didn't hear you come in." She wiped her hands on her denim overalls and approached her boss. Even though it had been more than a week since the incident on the deck, she felt wary about being with Lucia. Instinctively, she crossed her arms tightly over her chest.

"I came down to say hello and see how you were doing. Luke told me you've been working very hard." No traces of anger were evident on Lucia's face and it seemed as if her sharp edges were sheathed for the time being. "What are you working on?"

"I just finished the third bottling run of Graceful Light and I'm almost done cleaning up. Would you like to taste it?" Lucia said she would and Juliet led the way to the lab with Lucia behind her. She poured a sample of the pale, golden-tinted wine and handed it to Lucia. "I hope you'll be pleased with it."

Lucia swirled it over her tongue and swallowed it. "This is outstanding, Juliet. It's crisp and fruity with just the right amount of sweetness."

"I blended a seyval blanc with a Niagara. I think it has the best qualities from each wine and good balance. It's delicate and refreshing and yet it has a lush texture and crisp acidity. Were you able to detect the subtle hints of citrus and pineapple?"

"I did taste the citrus, but I can't say I was aware of everything you said. I only know it tasted wonderful. And I love the name." Lucia put her plastic cup down and leaned against the counter. "You're doing so much for us and I'm very pleased with your work. I've been too rough on you since you came here and I'm not proud of that. Specifically, I'm not proud of how I walked away from you when we were talking the other day."

"I shouldn't have upset you," Juliet said.

"The thing is you didn't say anything wrong. It was my problem." Lucia shifted her weight from one foot to the other and held her hands tightly clasped together. "I'm not always this hard to get along with."

"I work for you. You don't need to explain your behavior to me and you don't have to get along with me," Juliet said. "Although I think that would make the situation better for all of us."

"I agree and I want you to feel comfortable here. Thanks to your efforts, this is going to be our best summer so far. Our wine sales are steadily increasing and record numbers of people are coming to the winery. We should bring in four or five times what we made last year and that was exactly what Luke and I wanted."

"I'm only doing what you hired me to do," Juliet said, relieved that Lucia had moved on to a more neutral subject.

"Naturally, it follows that the café business is doing better, too. On weekends they're waiting in line and we might have to consider taking reservations for our brunch." Lucia smiled and paused for a moment. "What else do you have in the works?"

"Tomorrow I'm going to start bottling one of the new red blends, the one we named Blaze. That will give you another moderately priced red."

"The labels came in by the way. They look great."

"I saw one. Luke brought it down this morning."

"That's good. I wanted you to see them." Lucia shifted her gaze around. She seemed uncomfortable and restless.

"I think you'll be pleased with the wine," Juliet said to keep the conversation alive. "It's full-bodied with vanilla overtones and hints of cranberries. It bites your tongue at first and then caresses it. Come down tomorrow and I'll give you a taste."

"I'll do that." Lucia rubbed at a smudge on the counter.

The ensuing period of silence began to make Juliet uneasy. "If you'll excuse me, I'm done for the day and I was planning to go home soon."

"Don't let me stop you." Lucia's voice was almost a whisper.

Juliet didn't know what to do so she started to leave. "Have a good evening."

As she passed by, Lucia grabbed the sleeve of her shirt. "I'd like to go out to dinner this evening and I wondered if you would join me. I don't like going out to eat alone. In fact, I'm tired of eating alone, period."

"I suppose I could. I'm pretty grimy, though, and I didn't bring a change of clothes with me today. I'd have to stop at home to get ready and I would need to check on my cat and feed her. Do you want to come home with me and wait while I do that or would you rather I meet you at the restaurant?"

"Why don't I follow you home and wait so we can go together? I thought we would go to the Moosewood restaurant. Have you ever been there?"

"No, but I've heard about it. It's vegetarian, isn't it?"

"Yes. I'm not a vegetarian, but this place is excellent."

"Then I'd be interested in trying it," Juliet said.

"Are you ready to leave now?"

"Just about. I need a few minutes to get my things together."

"I'll meet you in front of the barn in ten minutes."

LUCIA HEARD THE mournful cries of a cat as they approached Juliet's apartment. The instant they went inside they were accosted by a pint-sized white cat who purred like a miniature combustion engine as she rubbed against Juliet's legs. Back and forth she strutted like an authentic feline diva, her back arched, her head held high.

"First she was mad at me for leaving her and now she's happy." Juliet bent over and petted her head. "You're such a drama queen, my little Sabrina Star."

"She's so adorable and tiny. And she's all white except for that one star-shaped black spot on her head. Is that why you call her Sabrina Star?"

"How did you guess?" Juliet asked with a smile. "The vet told me she's genetically a black cat with a huge white spot over her entire body."

"Is it okay if I pet her?"

"Please do. She's very sweet."

Lucia squatted and held her hand out. Sabrina approached cautiously and sniffed it. As Lucia began to rub her head and ears, Sabrina fell to the floor and exposed her belly. Lucia rubbed it gently. "I've always liked cats, but I've never had one."

"Why not?"

Lucia stood and shrugged her shoulders. "I never got around to it."

"Do you like dogs?"

"I do, very much. When we were young, Luke and I had a mutt our parents got for us from the pound. We named him Brownie because he was brown."

"Very clever name."

"We thought so." Lucia laughed softly. "Brownie got run over by a car and we never got another one. I thought about getting a dog when I grew up, but there never seemed to be room for one in my busy life. I was gone so much it didn't seem fair to have a dog." Lucia was silent as she remembered how Devin had wanted a dog or a cat and how she had always talked her out of it. Now she wished she hadn't.

"You could have a dog now. Your lifestyle is perfect for one."

"I know. I could bring the dog to work so it wouldn't be alone."

"What kind of dog would you want if you got one?"

"I like small dogs like Chihuahuas. I especially like the long haired ones with the fluffy ears, although I also think the short haired ones are nice."

"This is the first pet I've ever had and I've discovered that they're great company if you live alone and they can be comforting. Don't laugh, but I talk to Sabrina a lot."

"Doesn't everyone talk to their pets?" Lucia asked, not expecting an answer. "Where did you get her?" This time she waited for an answer.

"I found her out front in the rain. She kissed my hand with her sandpaper tongue and I fell in love. She was there every day and after four or five days, I couldn't stand to leave her out there anymore."

"She must keep you entertained."

"That's about all she does besides being cute," Juliet said. "Every day when I leave for work I tell her to do the dishes and clean the house before I get home."

"And does she?" Lucia played along.

"When I get home, she's still asleep and nothing is done."

"I thought so," Lucia said. "Would she let me pick her up?"

"Go ahead. She likes to be held."

Lucia picked up Sabrina and pressed her cheek against the cat's head. "She smells like a stuffed animal." Sabrina licked Lucia on the cheek. "She kissed me."

"She likes you and she's finicky about who she likes."

"I'm truly honored." Lucia gave Sabrina a thorough petting around her head and ears before setting her down. Sabrina squeaked and scurried off.

"She's indulged us as long as she's going to and now she wants to be fed. Make yourself comfortable while I take care of that and get myself cleaned up and changed. Do you want something to drink?"

"No thanks." Lucia went over to the sofa and picked up a magazine. "I'll sit here and take a look at this. I'll be fine."

"It's a bit warm. I should open the windows for you." Juliet opened both windows in the living room. "I won't be long. Fifteen or twenty minutes at the most."

"Don't hurry. We have all evening." After Juliet left, Lucia sat down. Another warm day had evolved into a cool evening thanks to a fast moving front that had blown through late in the afternoon. The open windows let in some cool air and made the temperature in the living room more comfortable.

Lucia opened the magazine, but before she even read anything she closed it and set it down. She preferred to watch the gossamer curtains sway hypnotically, choreographed by the shifting breeze. They invited her to a place of peacefulness, the kind of peace she'd been yearning for. Resting her head on the back of the sofa, she closed her eyes. "Just let yourself be in this nice place. Just let yourself breathe."

Being around Juliet, being in her space, made Lucia feel good. Juliet had a serenity about her that made Lucia feel grounded and connected to life again. And she was special in so many ways. Why then did she have to clash with her every time they were together? Being mean to Juliet or at odds with her was the last thing Lucia wanted.

Licking her lips, Sabrina came into the room and jumped onto the sofa. After circling a few times, she curled up against Lucia's thigh. Lucia rested her hand on warm vibrating fur and left it there. For the first time since Devin's accident she came close to drifting off to sleep the way she used to when her world was unsullied and carefree.

"I'm ready." Juliet's words preceded her into the living room. Her hair was damp around the edges, her cheeks aglow. She had changed into a pair of faded jeans and a sage-green cotton shirt. "Do I look all right?"

"You look fine." Lucia held back the more accurate answer. Juliet was adorable and fresh, she looked spectacular in a pair of jeans, and the color of the shirt she had chosen to wear was perfect with her hair.

Juliet looked at her cat. "Sabrina looks content next to you."

"She came in after she ate."

"Speaking of eating, I'm really hungry. Do you want to get going?"

Lucia got to her feet. "I'm ready. Let's go."

Chapter Ten

IT WAS SIX-THIRTY when they entered the Moosewood restaurant. The place was bright and inviting and Juliet absorbed the pleasant ambiance as Lucia approached the hostess's podium. The indoor section of the restaurant was below ground level with large windows above that let in plenty of light. It was full of natural wood and soothing colors. One small group of people mingled near the bar while a few others milled around the waiting area browsing at the restaurant's cookbooks and souvenirs that were displayed on shelves. As far as Juliet could tell, no one else was waiting for a table.

"There aren't many people here tonight," Juliet remarked.

"It's usually not that crowded during the week," Lucia said. "You should see it on a Saturday. It's packed. Sundays are a little better."

"Don't they take reservations?"

"No. On Saturdays you have to get here around five-thirty and stand in line. They put your name on a list and at six p.m. they open the doors and fill the tables."

"What if there aren't enough tables?" Juliet asked.

"You have to wait until people leave. It's only the six o'clock seating that's crowded. If you come later, you usually get seated right away."

When the hostess appeared, she checked her chart and led them to a table underneath a large window. Only three other tables were occupied.

"I'm surprised you've never been here before," Lucia said once they were seated. "The Moosewood's been going strong since the early seventies. It was hailed as one of the most influential restaurants of the last century, a driving force in creative vegetarian cooking. It's very popular with the types of people that live here."

"You mean the all-natural B.O. and Birkenstock types?"

"Yes, I mean them." Lucia's eyes sparkled. "I'm glad you said it."

After a waitress took their drink orders, Lucia and Juliet read the dinner choices on the enormous wall-mounted chalkboard on the opposite wall.

"I think I'll have a cup of the spicy corn chowder for starters and then the mushroom ravioli with the sage cream sauce," Lucia said.

"That sounded good to me, but I think I'm going with the cream of tomato soup and the Tunisian stew on couscous."

The waitress returned with their iced herbal teas and took their order. Juliet held her hands together on the table and focused on Lucia who seemed relaxed for a change, even happy. Lucia's dinner invitation had surprised her and now that she was here alone with Lucia, Juliet felt that familiar pull she always experienced when she was with her, that hard to ignore urge to know more about her. "Do you like to cook?"

"I don't do a lot of cooking. Do you?"

"It's hardly worth it for one person. Sometimes on weekends, I make a pot of chili or some soup for the week, but most of the time I fix myself something easy or get take-out on the way home. Just like you, I don't like going out to eat by myself."

"I never enjoyed going to the movies alone, either," Lucia said. "And that seems silly since you aren't there to interact with anyone."

"But you know they're there and that makes a difference." Juliet let Lucia lead the conversation as much as possible to avoid any potential for conflict. Earlier, when getting dressed, she had made a silent vow that she would keep things casual.

"Have you ever seen the gorge at Watkins Glen?" Lucia asked.

"Surprisingly, I haven't. I've always wanted to."

"Why don't we go there one of these days? We could hike the gorge and have dinner at another of my favorite places." Before Juliet could answer, Lucia quickly added, "Only if you want to, of course. Don't feel obligated to go because I'm your boss."

"I'd love to go with you." These unanticipated gestures of friendship from Lucia, although not unwelcome, produced in Juliet an undercurrent of apprehension. Could she trust her or would the axe fall again when she least expected it? She had agreed to go to dinner because she had no reason not to, but she wondered if they could ever be totally at ease with each other.

As if Lucia had read Juliet's mind, she said, "I want to thank you for coming to dinner with me. I'm alone too much and after a while I start to feel like I'm withering away." The sparkle that had been in Lucia's eyes was gone.

"I feel the same way sometimes." At that moment, Juliet bore Lucia's loneliness in the pit of her stomach as if it were her own. She cared about Lucia, had since the first time they met, and she wondered what would have caused a woman like Lucia to feel so alone in the world?

"Luke says I should get out more."

Juliet's eyes connected with Lucia's. "I really like your brother."

"He's like my father and I adore my father," Lucia said. "I adore my mother, too. I had a happy childhood and I always knew I was loved and cared for."

"I didn't have a bad childhood, but my parents weren't that affectionate. They still aren't. They've never been involved in my life." Juliet knew she and Lucia had left the realm of casual behind and she wasn't sure how to get them back into it. Whenever they talked, they both opened up and there seemed to be no way to prevent it.

Juliet went on, taking a different path. "I met Luke's wife and children the other day. His wife seems nice and the children were sweet, although they were shy."

"They're shy because they don't know you. Once they do, they'll talk your ear off. They're both smart and you're right about Natalie being nice. Now that school's out for the summer, she and the kids will be around a lot more." Lucia's eyes brightened again as she talked about her family. "Luke is molding Jaden into a future grape grower. Carly's into science and she likes to snoop around in the cellars under the guise of being helpful. Now that you're here, I'll see that she stays out of your way."

"She won't be in my way. I could find something easy for her to do and if she seems interested, I could show her what I do in the lab."

"That's nice of you, but she's only seven and I don't want her there if she becomes a nuisance. If that happens, let me know."

"If she's a nuisance, I'll march her right back to the barn."

The waitress arrived with their soups and a basket of whole-grain bread and Juliet busied herself with buttering a thick slice. She envied Lucia her close family ties. Her own childhood had left her saddled with a fundamental sense of isolation that she had carried into adulthood.

"Are you all right?" Lucia asked as she reached for a piece of bread. "Do you wish your relationship with your parents had been different?"

"To tell you the truth, I do. I've been on my own a lot." What was this power Lucia had over her that made her want to open her mouth and spill her innermost thoughts and feelings? She knew she shouldn't do it and yet she couldn't help it.

"Go on, finish your thought."

"Let's just say that I understand what it's like to be lonely. I've been lonely most of my life. It's like something has been missing and I don't know what it is."

Lucia put her slice of bread down. "Loneliness can consume you and make you feel cut off from the rest of the world. Don't you have a boyfriend or someone you feel close to? A woman with your looks and personality shouldn't have to be alone."

"I'm dating someone I met about four months ago. His name is Andre. He's a wine distributor I met at my last winery. We see each other occasionally when he's in town but it's nothing serious, not for me."

"Have you ever been married?" Lucia asked, picking up her spoon.

"No. I haven't even dated much. So far my life has been all about my career." Juliet pushed her empty soup cup aside and stared at the table. When she raised her eyes, she admitted something that she never thought she'd tell anyone. "I've never had a long-term relationship and I've never been in love."

"Not everyone has to be with someone," Lucia said. "Not everyone wants to be."

"I know, but I don't think that's the way it is for me. I do want to be with someone. My life may not support that claim, but in my heart I know it's the truth."

"Then I hope you find that someone." Although Lucia paused to study her intently, what she said next was way off the subject. "Let's talk about our trip to Atlanta."

"All right." Juliet was baffled by the sudden shift. Was Lucia at a loss for words or was she shutting down again? Was she uncomfortable with the degree of intimacy they had achieved or was she simply not interested?

"I booked a room at a hotel close to the competition and reserved a rental car. We're registered and I entered the four wines you and Luke suggested." Before Lucia could say another word, their salads were set in front of them. They ate quietly and when the salad plates were cleared away, Lucia began where they'd left off. "Do you remember I told you I might visit friends in Atlanta?"

"I remember." How could Juliet forget? That was the day they were talking on the deck and she'd asked the question that had abruptly ended their conversation.

"Well, I called them and they insisted I come for dinner on Sunday evening. They want me to bring you along so they can meet you."

"Wouldn't you prefer to go alone? I could have dinner at the hotel."

"No, please. I want you to come and I'd feel better if you were with me."

"All right, if you're sure," Juliet said.

"I'm sure." Lucia took a deep breath. "There's something I think you should know before you meet them. They're a lesbian couple."

"I don't care about that." Where was Lucia going with this?

"That's not all." Lucia seemed nervous as she hesitated. "I'm a lesbian, too. I didn't know whether Carolyn or Lisa ever told you, but even if they didn't, you're going to find out sooner or later and I'd rather you heard it from me."

"They didn't tell me." Juliet's heart raced and her mouth felt dry. Hoping her hands weren't visibly shaking she picked up her iced tea and drank a little of it.

"I hope it doesn't change anything between us."

"Why would it? Your sexual preference is no concern of mine." Juliet had said the politically correct thing, the truthful thing and yet she was at a loss to explain her visceral reaction to the news. Her subsequent admission came out of nowhere. "I can understand having feelings for a woman. There have been times when I thought I might--I mean I could--"

"Could what?"

"Never mind, it's not important." Why on earth had she said that?

"Would you be more comfortable if you had your own room in Atlanta?"

"That's not necessary." Juliet involuntarily released some nervous laughter. "I'm not the least bit uncomfortable about staying in the same room with you."

The waitress served their main courses and Lucia reverted to less provocative topics while their attention centered on eating. Thankfully, there was no further talk of sexual preferences or lovers until they had ordered and received dessert.

"There's something I'd like to know," Juliet said, sinking her spoon into a creamy lemon mousse. Although it went against her better judgment, she could not refrain from asking the question that had been on her mind throughout dinner. "When did you first realize you were a lesbian?"

"I suspected I might be about the time I hit puberty."

"Have you ever been with a man?"

"I assume you mean sexually?" Lucia hesitated as if she might not answer, but in the end she did. "Only once in high school. I suppose it was a combination of peer pressure and curiosity that made me want to do it, but I found out it wasn't for me. I was never like my girlfriends and based on the things they said and did, it was obvious to me that I didn't share their enthusiasm for boys."

"Did you have feelings for girls back then?"

"I suppose I was interested in a girl in my class, but nothing came of it. I didn't know how to interpret my feelings then or what to do about them. I didn't have my first sexual experience with a woman until I was in college."

"Oh." A sudden onslaught of emotions made Juliet fidget in her seat. Lucia had voiced some of the identical feelings she'd had during her teens. In high school she was a serious student who always preferred to be with other girls. She had no interest in dating or hanging out with boys. Her college experience was no different.

"Why all the questions?" Lucia asked.

"Just making conversation."

"I don't think so. You're curious, aren't you?"

Juliet didn't answer Lucia's frank question. Her occasional dates had always been more of an inconvenience than a source of enjoyment and she suddenly realized that the only reason she ever dated was because she thought she should. More often than not, she couldn't wait for the date to end. She had blamed her lack of emotional involvement and inability to fall in love on the demands of her career and anything else she could come up with. She told herself she hadn't met the right man. Aware that Lucia was staring at her, waiting for her to reply, she came out with a thought that passed through her lips from a place of pure emotion. "The woman you named your café for--"

"What about her?"

A voice in Juliet's head issued a stern warning, one she stupidly ignored. "Was she your lover?"

All the life drained from Lucia's face. Her features became hard and frozen. "Yes, she was. Is that what you were dying to find out?"

Lucia's icy stare told Juliet she had asked the worst possible question. Any bond they had formed during dinner had been destroyed in a heartbeat. "I didn't mean to pry. It's just that I knew she was important to you and--" Juliet hesitated. She had seen Lucia change in front of her eyes and every word she uttered only made matters worse. "I thought you might want to tell me about what happened to her."

"I most certainly do not." Lucia spit each word out, springing out of her chair as she signaled the waitress to bring the check. "We're done here."

"Wait, Lucia. We don't have to talk about it."

"Trust me, we're not going to." When the check came Lucia pulled her wallet out of her pocket and threw a pile of bills on top of the check. "I'll take you home."

Juliet took her wallet out. "What do I owe you?"

"Put your money away." Lucia headed straight for the door.

JULIET PRACTICALLY HAD to run to keep up with Lucia as she darted down the street. When they reached the car Lucia jumped into the driver's seat and slammed the door. Believing Lucia fully capable of leaving her stranded at the curb, Juliet rushed to get into the passenger seat before she was forced to find out if her belief was true.

The car was packed with tension, screaming with silence as Lucia drove to Juliet's. Even as she pulled up to the curb in front of the apartment building, Lucia kept her eyes fixed straight ahead. Her jaw was clenched, her facial muscles taut. She looked like she had been turned to stone. She said nothing and gripped the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles were white.

"I'm sorry I upset you," Juliet said. "I thought--"

"You thought what? You thought I'd tell you the whole fucking story just because you wanted me to?" Lucia pounded her fist on the steering wheel. "Fuck this."

"No, I just--"

"You just wanted to help. Is that it?" Lucia shook her head. "Well, I don't need your help and I don't want to talk to anyone about what happened to Devin. I especially don't want to talk to you about it."

"You don't have to. We can talk about something else."

"Don't ask me about my past again and don't ever ask me about her."

"I won't." Juliet opened her door. "Thank you for dinner and forgive me for probing into your personal life." Juliet had destroyed the promise of a friendship with Lucia and she was furious with herself. She should have known better.

"It was my fault as much as yours. Goodnight."

Having no other option, Juliet got out of the car and shut the door.

Standing at the curb, she watched Lucia pull into the street, her tires squealing in her haste to get away from her. Lucia's message couldn't have been clearer. She was sorry she'd gone out with Juliet and she wasn't likely to make any more gestures of friendship.

What had hurt Juliet more than anything was how Lucia had sounded when she said she didn't want to talk to her about Devin. Especially was the word she had emphasized. She especially didn't want to talk to her.

Chapter Eleven

THE NEXT MORNING, Juliet woke up before sunrise, having had no more than three or four hours of sleep. She felt awful about her dinner with Lucia. Their evening had started out friendly and had ended up disastrously thanks to her meddling curiosity. Lucia had been sent home with her wounds exposed and Juliet had gone home upset as well. Lucia's disclosure about being a lesbian had affected Juliet profoundly and ever since they discussed it, she hadn't been able to stop questioning her identity, specifically her sexuality. Her world had been thrown into turmoil and for the first time in her life she didn't quite know who she was.

Knowing she wouldn't sleep any longer, she showered, dressed and drove to the winery. Even though Luke's truck was parked in front of the barn, she went directly to the cellars instead of stopping in to say hello to him. For the remainder of the morning and the better part of the afternoon, she worked without as much as a lunch break.

Around three in the afternoon her hunger forced her to eat the turkey and cheese sandwich she'd brought to work with her. She ruminated as she sat in the lab and tore off little bites with her fingers. All day she had somehow managed to concentrate on work without rehashing the events of the evening before or the hurtful things Lucia had said to her. But now it all came streaming back.

It wasn't uncommon for an entire day to pass by without seeing Lucia or talking to her, but today of all days Juliet wished she would come by. She wanted to tell her she was sorry, wanted to know how she was doing. And she wanted something, anything that would make her stop feeling hurt. To lessen the headache gathering behind her eyes, she closed them and rested her head on her arm. Before long, she felt herself drifting.

LUCIA GENTLY SHOOK Juliet's shoulder. "Juliet? Are you all right?"

"What?" Juliet sat up and scoured the room as if unsure of where she was. Her face changed when she saw Lucia. "I put my head down and I must have fallen asleep."

"Do you feel okay?"

"I'm not sick if that's what you mean. I didn't sleep well and I've been working hard." Juliet blinked her eyes and shook her head as she got to her feet and faced Lucia. "I don't generally fall asleep on the job. It's just that I've been here since seven-thirty and I didn't eat all day. My head was hurting."

"I didn't sleep well, either," Lucia said. "And I'm sorry."

"About my head hurting?"

"No--I mean yes, I am sorry about that, but what I meant was I'm sorry about last evening. I was awful to you. All day I wanted to come and talk to you and I should have come earlier, but I..." Lucia wasn't good at apologizing. She was good at angry outbursts, good at hurting those around her, and good at sarcasm, but not at saying she was sorry or admitting she was wrong.

"But you couldn't?"

"That's right. I had to find the courage to face you."

"I was afraid to face you," Juliet said. "I'm the one who should be sorry and I am. I deserved everything you said to me. I knew Devin was special to you and I had no right to ask about her." Juliet rubbed her forehead. "I need to learn when to hold back."

"You were just being kind. I was being a shit," Lucia said. "When I thought about it later I felt so bad, but I guess I couldn't do any better at the time. You see, I can't bear to think about Devin or what happened to her and it hurts me to talk about it."

"I can see that now and I should have been more sensitive."

"Don't let me off the hook that easily." Lucia ran her fingers through her hair and took in a deep breath. "I can't keep doing that to the people who care about me."

Lucia was worn out from keeping secrets and holding her pain inside. And she was sick of drowning her sorrows in vodka. The shell she had built around herself had grown thin and fragile and lately it had begun to crack. While it felt right to dream of being free of the need for that protection, she feared how she would fare without it. "I hate to admit this, but after I dropped you off I went to a bar and got drunk."

"I wish you would have stayed with me."

"That would have been a better choice. I can't go on doing that." Lucia was deeply touched by the depth of feeling Juliet's words had conveyed. She wanted to reach out with her fingers and smooth the creases around Juliet's eyes. "You look tired and you've been working so hard. Why don't you go home and get some rest? There's nothing here you can't do another day."

"Lucia," Juliet began, tentatively. "I don't want us to be at odds with each other. This job is important to me and I want to stay here with you and Luke for a long time. I don't expect us to be the best of friends, but I would really love it if we could get along and respect each other's feelings."

"I don't want us to just get along." Lucia gazed into Juliet's blue eyes, seeing in them the sincerity of her plea. A bond had formed between them, without any help from her, and she was drawn to Juliet in a way she couldn't explain. All she knew was she had to go with it and stop fighting.

"I don't understand," Juliet said.

"I want more than that. I want us to be friends."

"You do?" Juliet's face relaxed. "Do you think that's wise?"

"Honestly? I don't know if it is or not and I don't care. I want it anyway. This is my life and what I do is my business. In spite of how I've behaved toward you, having you around has made me feel better than I have in a long time. You've given me hope and I'll try not to let my problems get in the way of our relationship again."

"And I won't pressure you to tell me about your past. You tell me whatever you want to, whenever you want to, and if you don't want to tell me a thing, that's up to you."

"Let's give it a try." Lucia held out her hand to shake Juliet's, but tucked it away by her side before Juliet could take it. She wanted to touch Juliet, but not in that way.

As though she'd read Lucia's mind and shared the same need, Juliet stepped closer and gathered Lucia into her arms. Without a moment of hesitation, she pulled Lucia close and held on to her.

Lucia kept her arms straight at her sides. Juliet was warm and vibrating with life and Lucia hadn't been held by anyone she cared about for a long time. It made her feel ripped open, so much so she had to remind herself to breathe. When that first breath finally came it carried with it the sweet smell of Juliet's hair and took away with it a gentle sigh.

"This feels good," Juliet whispered.

Lucia raised her arms and wrapped them around Juliet's waist. Juliet's cheek felt like heated brushed cotton as it pressed against her own. She lingered, savoring the sensations for as long as she thought proper, before letting go and stepping away.

"I've wanted to do that," Juliet said.

"I'm glad you did. It felt good and I needed it." Lucia fiddled with a row of test tubes in a metal holder and almost knocked one over in the process.

"I think I'll take your advice and go home early," Juliet said after a long pause. "I need to do some food shopping and I'm almost out of cat food."

"That little cat of yours will be mad."

"She will. She'll be searching for someone else to live with."

"You can't let that happen." Lucia tried to sound upbeat although she was anything but. A strange sense of melancholy was building inside of her mixed with a vague sense of longing. What was it about Juliet that made her feel this way?

"No I can't. I've grown fond of that little fur ball." Juliet's smile seemed weak.

"Come in late tomorrow or take the day off if you need to."

"Thanks, but I don't want to stay home. I'll be fine after a good night's sleep."

To Lucia, Juliet sounded sad. Both of them were overly tired and emotional which would account for it and Lucia thought it entirely possible she could be projecting her own feelings on to Juliet. "We'll both feel better if we get some rest."

"I already feel better because we cleared things up."

"So do I," Lucia said. "I'll see you tomorrow. I have a meeting with the graphic artist in the morning and a lot of things I have to take care of, but I'll try to stop by and see you before you go home."

"If I'm in the barn, I'll stop by your office."

"You do that. I'll look forward to it."

Chapter Twelve

NEARLY TWO WEEKS went by, washed away with the dirt and wine from the floor of the wine cellars. Juliet and Lucia made a point of speaking to each other almost every day and true to her word Lucia kept her behavior in check. There were no more angry outbursts, no more tongue-lashings, no more cold shoulders, at least not toward Juliet. As for Juliet, she kept her end of the deal. She controlled her curiosity and avoided doing anything that might upset or provoke.

Summer had officially entered the scene and with it came the hot, dry, glorious days that were so precious to the people who lived in the area. The number of tourists visiting the winery increased every week and according to Luke, wine sales were soaring through the roof. As he was fond of saying, the wines were flying off the shelves so quickly he didn't even need to dust the bottles anymore.

Just before one o'clock on Thursday, Juliet showered and changed from her work clothes into a pair of clean shorts and a short-sleeved top. Satisfied she was presentable, she walked over to the café to meet Lucia, Carolyn and Lisa for lunch. Carolyn had called Lucia the week before and asked if Lisa could interview them for an article she wanted to write for one of the local winery tabloids. They'd agreed to do it today.

As Juliet approached the café, she spotted Lucia smiling and waving from one of the tables on the deck. Lucia looked excited to see her.

"What a gorgeous day," Juliet remarked when she neared the table.

"Isn't it?" Lucia said. "It's not as hot as it's been the last couple of days and there's a nice breeze. How are things going with you?"

"Fine. I've been looking forward to this," Juliet said as she took a seat next to Lucia. The bright sunshine brought out the green in Lucia's soulful eyes and Juliet had to avert her gaze so as not to stare at them. Two weeks ago, after they hugged in the lab, after Lucia left, Juliet stood there for a while just looking at the empty space where Lucia had been. The sensations she had experienced in Lucia's arms had been new ones for her and she had relived them every day since. She told herself her feelings had been fueled by fragile emotions, intensified by fatigue, and they would fade. But now that she was sitting close to Lucia, she knew they hadn't.

"I ordered a pitcher of iced tea for everyone. If you'd prefer something else to drink you can order it when the waitress comes back."

"Iced tea is perfect."

Lucia leaned back in her chair. "This is why I like being my own boss. I can set my work hours, within reason of course, and unless I have a deadline or a meeting, I can do whatever I please."

"As I recall, you said I could do the same."

"So I did," Lucia said with a smile. "Is that your way of telling me you intend to take the rest of the day off?"

"I thought I might." Juliet returned Lucia's playful smile.

"And I think I'll join you." Lucia was quiet for a moment. "Before Carolyn and Lisa get here, tell me how it was having Carly spend the day with you yesterday?"

"It was fun and she was very cute. She asked me a million questions. She loves the lab equipment--beakers, test tubes, all of it."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

Juliet went on. "Jaden showed up in the afternoon and I put him and Carly to work cleaning up. I didn't give them anything hard to do, but I think they were pretty worn out by the time they got done. Even after all that, Carly still said she wants to come and help me again."

"That's entirely up to you. Like I told you before, I don't want Carly or Jaden to get in your way or interfere with your work."

"I don't mind if they visit me once in a while. They're nice children."

"Luke told me Carly couldn't keep her eyes open after dinner and Jaden talked about you all evening. Luke said he was dreamy-eyed and kept saying how pretty you were. It seems he has a wicked crush on you."

"That's so sweet."

"He's got good taste in women, I'll give him that." Lucia pointed to the walkway leading to the front of the café. "Carolyn and Lisa are here."

A minute later, the hostess brought Carolyn and Lisa to their table. Before they sat down, Carolyn put her arm around Lisa's shoulders and introduced her to Lucia. They both expressed how they'd wanted to meet each other and then Carolyn and Lisa took the other two chairs.

"The view is magnificent," Carolyn remarked.

"This is a beautiful winery," Lisa added. "I can hardly believe Juliet is working for you. She and I have been friends for years and you and Carolyn have been friends since you were children and..." She paused to take a breath.

"And now we all know each other," Lucia finished for her. "Isn't it strange how our paths cross sometimes?" They discussed how Lisa and Juliet met and then how Juliet met Carolyn until they were interrupted by the arrival of the iced tea.

"I'd like to see the inside of the café before we leave," Lisa said after the waitress filled all their glasses and went back inside. "I know we can't do it today, but I'd also like a tour of the winery, especially the barn. Carolyn told me it was really special."

Juliet was quick to respond. "Why don't you call me and we'll make arrangements for you to come and spend a few hours. I'll give you a complete tour."

"We can give you a wine tasting if you'd like," Lucia added.

"I'd love that," Lisa said. "And it'll help when I write the article."

"Good, then it's all settled." Lucia picked up her menu to look at the day's specials. "Lunch is my treat so order anything you want. Would anyone like wine when the food comes? A bottle of chilled riesling, maybe?"

Carolyn and Lisa both nodded their approval and Juliet said, "I'll have some, but only one glass. This may sound strange for a winemaker, but I don't like to drink that much as a rule and not this early in the day."

"That's not a bad thing," Lucia said. "Some people drink way too much."

Juliet realized that Lucia had probably been referring to herself so she said nothing more on the subject of drinking. She remembered her promise. No one else commented on what Lucia had said and the next ten minutes or so were spent discussing the menu and deciding on what they all wanted for lunch.

AFTER THEY ATE and chatted for an hour and a half, Lisa gathered a baseline of facts about the winery from Lucia and began interviewing her for the article. Lucia's anxiety about what Lisa might ask her subsided gradually as she realized Lisa's questions were strictly focused on the winery. Any questions about her past were not of a personal nature and they were easy to answer. Based on Lisa's chosen questions, Lucia was certain Carolyn had asked her to tread carefully and stick to the present.

When Lisa asked why she had come back home Lucia didn't get upset. She simply told her that she'd grown weary of city living and her stressful job. She didn't mention how it had taken a tragedy to transform her life and open her eyes to the fact that she'd been living contrary to her true nature. The dog-eat-dog world she'd participated in had forced her to do things to people she would never have done, things she never wanted to do again. She told Lisa she loved the laidback way of life and the natural beauty of the Finger Lakes. It was where she'd been planted and she had simply come full circle.

"What made you decide to open a winery?" Lisa asked.

"I've had an interest in the Finger Lakes wine industry ever since I was old enough to know it existed. The industry has tremendous growth potential and I'm excited to be on the ground floor so to speak. I'm business oriented and it's the business around here. And I enjoy the fact that it's competitive, but in a good way."

Lisa was about to ask another question when Lucia said, "Every wine we produce is a personal expression of who we are. My brother and I find it gratifying to own our own land and produce something tangible from it, something worthwhile. This is a way for us to give to the community we love." Lucia reflected upon the truth of what she'd said and realized that only since the arrival of Juliet had she started to feel any of the gratification she spoke of.

Lucia got through the rest of the interview without any problems. Now and then she glanced at Juliet who seemed engrossed in her answers. Whenever their eyes connected, they smiled warmly at each other.

Once Lisa finished Lucia's interview, she moved on to Juliet. Lucia watched Juliet as she answered questions with her usual eagerness. She was passionate about winemaking, but it was obvious that she didn't like touting her own praises. Her cheeks were rosy, her hair a bit curlier than usual, and she had an endearing habit of repeatedly tucking one wayward piece of hair behind her right ear.

"What are you hoping to accomplish at Casa Parisi?" Lisa asked.

"My first priority is to make great wines for the Parisis." Juliet paused, tapping one finger on her lips as though formulating her next thought. "I'm also interested in training students and becoming involved in political decisions."

"One last question. Where do you see yourself five years from now?"

"I see myself right here. I'm the head winemaker of an extremely successful winery and I'm standing next to Luke and Lucia in front of our impressive display of medals and awards." The next part was related with a sideways glance at Lucia. "I can see my picture on the cover of a wine journal with a caption that reads, 'Meet Juliet Renard, winemaker of the year.'"

Lucia noticed that the color in Juliet's cheeks had deepened. In all probability, she would be married and long gone in five years. Juliet had told her at dinner that she dated only occasionally and wasn't serious about anyone, but Lucia knew that could change in an instant. All it would take was a look, a touch, or one fiery kiss to turn her world upside down. The inevitability of it made Lucia sad. Her fondness for Juliet deepened with each passing day and the knowledge that she would someday leave them was hard to take.

"What is it?" Juliet asked as though she'd read Lucia's face.

"Nothing. I hope your five year plan comes true."

"I have a feeling it will."

Lisa turned off her digital recorder and sat back. "I think I have what I need. If I happen to think of anything else after I start writing I'll call you."

"We should head out soon," Carolyn said. "It's getting late and my mother wants us to stop by on the way home."

"I'm ready to go whenever you are," Lisa said. "Juliet, I'll call you in a day or two about that tour and wine tasting you promised me."

"Whenever you want to come is fine." Juliet stood up. "I enjoyed this and thanks for lunch, Lucia. I'm going back to the cellars to take care of a few things before I leave." She said goodbye to Carolyn and Lisa, hugged them and walked away.

"Lunch was delicious," Lisa said to Lucia as she got up. "I'll let you know when the article is coming out, assuming someone will publish it."

Carolyn made a face as she rose to her feet. "That's ridiculous."

"I know, but one should never assume," Lisa said.

"Pay her no mind, Lucia. She always says that and they always publish every article she writes without exception."

"I'll walk you to your car." Lucia hooked her arm in Carolyn's. "I'm so glad the two of you came this afternoon. Let's get together again real soon."

"We will, I promise. I'll call you next week," Carolyn said.

When they got to Carolyn's car, Lisa got in the driver's seat while Carolyn lingered outside for a few private words with Lucia. "How have you been?"

"Better. I'm doing better."

"I'm glad." Carolyn looked at the car. "I have to go, but don't hesitate to call me if you need to talk to someone. We can go out, just the two of us."

"That would be nice."

"I loved having lunch with you and Juliet. As far as I'm concerned, you have one of the best wineries and winery restaurants on the lakes, if not the best."

"That means a lot coming from you," Lucia said. "And Juliet is making amazing wines for us. I'll tell you about them when I talk to you again."

"Better yet, I'll come with Lisa and taste them," Carolyn said. "I'm happy you hired Juliet and I hope you like her as much as we do. She's extremely smart and she's very attractive don't you think?"

"Without a doubt," Lucia said. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing. I only said it because it's true."

"We're becoming friends, but that's the extent of it. If you have any ideas forming in that head of yours, get rid of them. She's straight, remember?"

"So she thinks," Carolyn said. "So we all think."

"What does that mean?"

"Let's just say Lisa and I have wondered whether she really is."

"No matter what she is, it's no concern of mine," Lucia said. "And don't go thinking I need you to find someone for me. I'm not ready for a relationship."

"I don't think any such thing. If you decide you're ready to start dating, you won't need any help from us. I only want you to like her because I put you two together."

"I do like her and she's perfect for us."

"Then I'm satisfied." Carolyn opened the passenger door.

WHEN SHE COULD no longer see their car on the road, Lucia gave in to a sudden impulse and walked to the cellars to see if Juliet was still there. She didn't feel like sitting in front of her computer or doing anything that required mental exertion. They had both said they might take the rest of the day off and beautiful days like this one invited you to be outdoors rather than cooped up in an office. Her line of rationale was persuasive, but the most compelling reason she didn't want to go to her office and work was because she wanted to spend more time with Juliet.

Juliet was in the lab washing beakers and test tubes when Lucia got there. She turned off the water and dried her hands when she saw Lucia come in.

"I felt like we didn't have a chance to talk much during lunch so I decided to come over," Lucia said. "I hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all. In fact I'm glad you did."

"I thought you were taking the rest of the day off," Lucia said.

"I was, but I really don't have anything to do at home."

"I don't have anything to do, either, and it's too nice to be inside. How would you feel about taking me out to the vineyards and showing me around a little? I can wait if you need to finish what you were doing."

"No, let's go. I'll let the rest of these soak."

"Do you want me to drive?" Lucia asked.

"We'll go in my car. I parked it out back."

JULIET DROVE ALONG a dirt road that withered down to the usual well-worn tire tracks they used to drive into sections of the vineyards. Once she reached her destination she stopped the car, got out and guided Lucia to a specific area containing neat row after neat row of immature vines.

"I wanted to show you the new vines Luke planted this past spring. They're baby riesling grapevines." Juliet squatted and touched one of them so gently it was as though she were stroking a newborn's cheek. "Aren't they amazing?"

"Yes. They're so small."

"Vines are a year old when they're ready to plant and they need another year or two of growing before they produce grape clusters. Luke and his crew train them to climb the trellises and they keep them pruned so they don't develop excessive leaf growth."

"Why do you worry about leaf growth?" Lucia asked. "Luke may have told me, but if he did, I forgot." Luke had probably told her a lot of things that promptly went in one ear and out the other. He'd asked her to go to the vineyards with him a hundred times and except for once or twice, she'd always found some excuse not to go.

"Too much leaf cover shades the grapes from the sun," Juliet explained. "They need full sun in order to ripen and they need to stay dry to protect them from molds and other diseases caused by excessive moisture."

"That seems obvious once you point it out."

"There's another reason, the most important one. Cutting away excessive leaf growth directs the plant's energy into the fruit." Juliet took hold of Lucia's elbow and guided her back to the car. "I want to show you something somewhere else."

Juliet drove to another section of vineyards and led Lucia to the vines she wanted her to see. "These are European vines Luke started after you bought the winery. He grafted them to the older native American rootstocks that were already here."

"I did know that," Lucia said. "I think."

"Those root stocks belonged to native grape vines that grew here for over a hundred years, like Niagara and Delaware. They're cold hardy and pest resistant, so Luke took the new, non-native vines and grafted them to the stronger roots. That way he ends up with more resilient vines that have fewer problems."

They progressed through the rows of vines a little farther until Juliet paused to pick up a handful of soil. She held it under Lucia's nose. "Sniff this, but be careful. I want you to smell it, not get a nose full of dirt."

Lucia sniffed a few times. "I smell grapes and the earth."

"I love that smell." Juliet let the earth fall from her hand and rubbed her hands to get rid of the residue. "Isn't it wonderful what you can get from the earth? Things look dead in the winter and in the spring they come to life again. It's nature's eternal promise."

Lucia was moved by Juliet's words. She could be so reflective and poetic when she spoke of things that mattered to her and Lucia loved to listen to her talk. Lucia wanted to share her zest for life, wanted to love her land and her grapes the way Juliet did. Instead of voicing her thoughts, she made an observation of her own. "That earth seemed dry. I get concerned when it doesn't rain, but Luke tells me not to. He said the grapes love hot weather and dry conditions."

"He's right. They don't do well in soggy soil and wet vines are prone to all sorts of diseases. They need rain as long as it's not excessive. They have long roots and can get water from deep within the earth. They use water conservatively, thrive in poor soil and you don't have to give them much in the way of fertilizers and nutrients." Juliet paused and studied Lucia as if something had occurred to her. "I hope I'm not telling you things you already know."

"I should know everything you're telling me. It's basic stuff and I'm sure Luke went over it at some point." If he had, Lucia hadn't retained much of the information. Being out here with Juliet made her aware of how terribly out of touch she'd been. "I own these vineyards and I haven't bothered to look at them. I need to change that."

"You're here now. This is a good place to start."

"Better late than never I suppose." Lucia saw compassion in Juliet's expression and it occurred to her that Juliet was much kinder to her than she had ever been to herself.

"Did you know that every vineyard has its own terroir?" Juliet asked.

"What's that mean in English?"

"It means the sum total of everything that makes your vineyards unique, the soil, the elevation and slope of the land, the sun exposure, and every single nuance of climate and growing conditions. They all affect the grapes." Juliet touched Lucia's hand. "Tell me if I'm talking too much. I get carried away."

"I like when you get carried away and I'm enjoying this." Lucia was tempted to take Juliet's hand and tell her she loved listening to her talk about anything--water, sunshine, dirt, or anything at all--because she loved the sound of her voice, her accent, and the way her eyes sparkled. But in the end, she decided not to.

"Are you sure?" Juliet appeared to be searching Lucia's eyes.

"One hundred percent."

"Good because I have another saying along those same lines and it goes like this, 'The fruit speaks of the special place where it was grown.'"

"That's another way of saying the same thing," Lucia said. "Every wine region has distinctive characteristics and that makes their wines taste different from the same wines made in other places."

"Exactly. Our chardonnays would never taste like the ones made in California and our rieslings would never taste quite the same as the German ones. Our wines are unique because our climate is unique." Juliet began walking through the rows.

"I want to thank you for bringing me out here," Lucia said once they were standing in front of another section of vines.

"Why don't you come out here with me once in a while? I'll explain things and show you what we're doing."

"Are you busy this Saturday night?" Lucia asked abruptly.

"Excuse me?" Confusion registered on Juliet's face.

"Are you busy this Saturday night?"

"Did you want to come out to the vineyards?"

Lucia laughed as she understood how Juliet arrived at that conclusion. "No, that's not what I had in mind. It sounded like I was saying that, didn't it?"

"Yes, it did."

"I shouldn't have come out with it like that. I wanted to know if you were busy because I'd like you to have dinner with me at my cottage."

"I don't have any plans." Juliet seemed genuinely excited. "I'm not going to work this Saturday. These six-day weeks are taking their toll

and I need to cut down." "Would you rather I came down to Ithaca since you won't be up

here? We could go out to eat somewhere instead." "I don't mind driving up to your place." "Good. I haven't cooked in a while and I thought I'd make one of

my favorite dishes. If it's nice out, we can eat by the lake." "Do you want me to bring anything?" "Just bring yourself."

Chapter Thirteen

ON FRIDAY NIGHT, Juliet fell asleep earlier than usual and slept soundly until ten-thirty the next morning. Sleeping in excess of twelve hours proved to her how right she'd been when she told Lucia her long days had taken their toll. The second her eyes popped open she began to anticipate her upcoming dinner with Lucia. She mulled over what she would wear, what topics they'd discuss and every possibility the evening held in store. It was a dinner invitation from a friend and yet she was more excited about it than she could have envisioned.

To make the day go quickly, Juliet did laundry, cleaned the kitchen and made a pot of vegetable soup for the upcoming week. All those activities helped and still the hours seemed to drag. After putting the soup away and sweeping the kitchen floor she ran out of busywork. Around three in the afternoon, she decided to get showered and dressed so she wouldn't make herself nervous leaving it to the last minute.

After blowing her hair dry she put on a pair of jeans and a shirt and headed into the living room to read. In the middle of an interesting article on a new method of making a pinot noir, she was rudely interrupted by the harsh buzzing of the intercom. She got up and pressed the speaker button. "Can I help you?"

"It's me, Andre."

"Andre? What are you doing here?" There was no mistaking the irritation she heard in her voice. Andre Du Bois was the French-Canadian wine distributor she had told Lucia about when they were having dinner at the Moosewood. He had entered her life when she was working at her previous winery and she had agreed to go out with him because she felt comfortable with him. He was interesting and easy to talk to and they seemed to have a lot in common. They dated whenever he came to Ithaca on business and in the interim they kept their casual relationship alive via e-mail and occasional phone calls.

"Let me in and I'll explain."

She pushed the button that opened the downstairs door and listened to his heavy footsteps as he climbed the stairs. Each approaching step made her more irritated. Why did he have to show up at her apartment today of all days? She had plans and she didn't want them interfered with.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him, blocking the doorway and making no effort to sound less angry.

"I had to make an unexpected trip to Ithaca to meet with one of my clients and I thought why not stop in and see you? They called me early this morning and I had to get on the road. I did try to call you on the way, more than once, but your cell phone was on voice mail. Didn't you get any of my messages?"

"I haven't checked it in a while." Juliet wished she had. She might have prevented him from actually appearing on her doorstep. She noticed he had a duffle bag in his hand. "Are you staying overnight in Ithaca?"

"I have to. I have a meeting tomorrow."

"On Sunday?" That meant he would want to spend Saturday evening with her.

"It's at one of the big wineries on Seneca and that was the only day the owner and I could meet this week. I'll head home as soon as it's over."

"Where are you staying?"

"Here's the thing. I know I don't stay with you when I'm here, but they're having a family weekend thing at Cornell this weekend and there's a big arts and crafts festival on the lake. I couldn't find a room in any of the decent places and I don't want to spend the whole day looking for a trashy room in some strip motel."

"I suppose that means you want to stay here?"

"Is that okay?" he asked.

Now that he was standing in front of her what was she to do? He needed a place to stay and it would be impolite to turn him down. Her heart sunk as she realized it would also be impolite to leave him alone while she went to Lucia's. How would she explain to him that she would rather have dinner with Lucia than spend the evening with him? How was she going to explain that to herself?

"Juliet? I asked you if I could stay here tonight."

"I guess so."

Andre's look was quizzical. "You guess so?"

"Yes, of course you can."

"That's great. I already met with my first client so I don't have any more business to take care of today. Why don't I take you out to dinner?"

He came off as smug and self-satisfied, a common male trait she'd always detested. And she knew it was because things were going the way he wanted them to. Her mouth opened to speak, but before she could say anything, he held his hand up.

"Hold that thought. I have to use the bathroom."

Juliet folded her arms across her chest and tapped the floor with her toe. What gave him the right to drop in unannounced and take control of her weekend? The last time they went out, she had ended up spending the night with him in his hotel room. They'd gone out a number of times, she was in the mood and it seemed the timing was right. The sex proved pleasurable on a purely physical level but on an emotional level it was lacking, at least for her. That's how it had always been with men and after it happened, she was left wondering if she wanted to see him again.

When he sauntered back into the living room, she confronted him. "I'm not sure I like you coming here without telling me first. We don't do this."

"I tried to tell you and besides, what's the problem? We haven't seen each other for a while and I've missed you. Didn't you miss me at all?"

"I've been too busy to miss anyone." His question implied he had made assumptions that made her even more irritated. She tugged at her shirt, more annoyed than she thought she ought to be, definitely more than he deserved. "Please don't come here again without talking to me. How did you know I'd even be here?"

"Christ! Okay, already. Honestly, I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this. I'm only asking to spend the night." For a moment, Andre seemed to be going over the situation in his mind. His tone mellowed and he pulled out the charm that had enticed her to go out with him in the first place. "You're right. It won't happen again." He leaned over as if to give her a kiss.

Juliet turned away, avoiding his kiss. "I wanted to take it easy this weekend. I would have told you that had you given me the chance and I also would have told you I already made dinner plans with a friend this evening."

"What friend?" Andre asked as if it never occurred to him that she had any. "Hold on. Is this friend another guy? Are you seeing someone else?"

"We never said we wouldn't date other people, Andre," Juliet pointed out. "And for your information it's not a guy or a date. It's my boss, Lucia Parisi."

"Your boss? I thought you said a friend."

"She's my boss and my friend." Why is it after you sleep with a man he thinks he owns you, she thought? Apparently, having allowed her relationship with him to progress to a sexual level had altered it more than she had anticipated. Their boundaries were now blurred and he was acting as if he had gained access to every aspect of her life.

"Do you think that's a good idea? You shouldn't be friends with your boss. You have to work for her and take orders from her."

"I hardly think you need to worry about it."

Andre came close and encircled her in his arms, his voice low and seductive against her ear. "You can have dinner with her any time. We don't see each other very often and I've missed you. Call her and tell her you can't make it. She won't mind."

"How do you know she won't? She'll probably be disappointed and I was looking forward to having dinner with her." She wiggled out of his embrace. "I promised her I would come."

He stepped back and stared at her as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. "Tell her your boyfriend is here. What woman wouldn't understand that?"

Juliet backed up to put more distance between them. "I don't need advice on what to say to my friends. I can say whatever I please."

"Sorry. Did I push your personal freedom button again?"

"Last time I checked, I didn't have any buttons! And what's wrong with wanting my freedom? I'm sure you want yours. Every man does and they have it, too."

"Hey, calm down. I'm only teasing." Andre moved close and put his arm around her. "I didn't come here to fight. I wanted to spend time with you. Is that a crime?"

Juliet took a few calming breaths. She needed to re-group. Short of kicking him out, she didn't know how else to handle the situation other than to give in. Tomorrow, once he was out of the picture, she'd sort out her feelings and find a way to make the situation up to Lucia. "Wait here while I go call her."

"I'll look over my notes for tomorrow."

Juliet went into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. She leaned her elbows on her knees and buried her face in her hands. This had to be the hardest phone call she'd ever had to make. She wasn't sure how much this dinner meant to Lucia and she didn't know how disappointed she'd be. From what Lucia had told her, Juliet surmised that it had been some time since Lucia reached out to anyone other than her family.

Everything about Lucia spoke of the immense pain she'd suffered and Juliet hated like hell to let her down. Most of all, she didn't want Lucia to think she didn't care, that she was tossing her aside without a second thought. Her hands shook as she reached for her cell phone.

Lucia answered on the third ring. She sounded happy when she told Juliet how much she was looking forward to their dinner. "I'm making a dish my mother taught me how to make. And it's nice out so we can eat outside."

"That sounds wonderful, but--"

"What's wrong?" Lucia's voice fell.

"I can't come." There it was, out in the open.

"Oh." After a long pause, Lucia said, "I'm disappointed to hear that."

"I'm sorry. I hope you didn't go to a lot of trouble."

"Not too much," Lucia said flatly.

"I wanted to come. I was looking forward to it."

"Then why can't you? Are you sick or something?"

"No, it's nothing like that. Andre, that guy I told you I was dating, showed up here. I didn't know he was coming. He has meetings tomorrow and he couldn't find a room so I had to let him stay with me. He wants to take me out to dinner and I don't think it would be right to leave him alone while I go out."

"I see. Of course you'd rather be with him."

"Could we make it another time?" Juliet asked.

"I guess we can. So--some other time, then."

"I'm sorry, Lucia. I feel horrible about this."

"Don't. I understand."

"I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"No need to." Lucia's voice sounded distant and hollow.

"I know, but I'd like to." Juliet knew she was taking things too far and because of it she was starting to sound unconvincing. She waited for Lucia to reply, to make her feel all right about this, but she didn't. "I'll see you at work on Monday."

"I'll be there. Goodbye, and have a good time."

"Goodbye." Juliet ended the call, distressed by what she had left unsaid.

When she entered the living room, Andre was reading one of her magazines with his bare feet propped up on the coffee table as if he owned the place. Just the sight of his bony toes made her want to smack him. Taking a deep breath, she paused and tried to temper her anger. As soon as she regained her civility, she joined him.

"They have interesting articles in here," he announced without lifting his eyes from the pages. "Here's one about a new winery on Long Island that's found a new method for making a good pinot noir. It won some prestigious awards."

"I read it." Right then, Juliet decided she had to be more amiable, more for her sake than for his. If she didn't, she was going to be in for a long, unpleasant evening. "You might see an article about my new winery in the near future because my friend Lisa just interviewed me and Lucia for one."

"Really? Let me know when it comes out." He put the magazine down on the coffee table. "Speaking of Lucia, did you cancel your dinner plans?"

"Yes. She said she understood."

"I told you she would."

"So you did. Still, I didn't enjoy letting her down like that. I like her very much and I was looking forward to having dinner with her."

"Then I'm sorry I interfered with your plans. Don't get mad, but I think it's a bad idea to be friends with your boss. It could lead to problems."

"Problems that would be mine, not yours," Juliet pointed out.

"Suit yourself and if you insist on being friends with her make sure you re-schedule your dinner plans so you stay on her good side."

"How would I ever get along without your sagely advice?" Juliet clenched her teeth, noticing for the first time what a pompous ass he could be.

Evidently he was undisturbed by her comment since he moved on to another topic. "Why don't we go to the restaurant we went to last time, the one in Geneva? It's a nice night for a drive along the lake and I might get that pasta dish I had. It was one of the best dishes I've ever had."

"All right, if that's what you want."

Andre pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. "Get me the phone book and I'll see if I can get a reservation."

Fighting back tears, she fetched the phone book and tossed it onto the sofa next to him. "Find the number yourself."

Like a giant anaconda, Andre had wrapped his coils around her and now he was starting to squeeze the last breath out of her. He wasn't a bad guy and he wasn't doing anything wrong. Mainly, the problem was hers. It was the identical problem she'd had with every man she'd dated. She could handle a casual date once in a while, but as the relationship naturally became more intimate, they wanted more of her and she wanted less of them. That wasn't how romance was supposed to be.

"We got a break," Andre said, folding his cell phone. "They just had a cancellation and we got that table. Seven o'clock." Andre picked up the magazine he'd been reading earlier and began to leaf through the pages. "I'm glad I remembered to bring a sport coat and tie with me."

"You think of everything," Juliet said.

Andre smiled at her. "Isn't this great? In the morning I'll take you out for breakfast at our favorite place before I leave for my meeting."

"I can't wait."

Chapter Fourteen

ON MONDAY MORNING, Juliet revived herself with two cups of strong coffee and prepared to go in to work. Since the winery was closed to visitors, no one would care or even notice if she stayed home and God knows, after her weekend with Andre, it had entered her mind to do just that. Nothing had to be accomplished today, and unless Luke or Lucia had a special reason to come in she could easily end up being the only one there. Still, she was going in. After brushing her teeth and combing her hair she leaned toward the mirror and inspected her image. "Who do you think you're fooling?" she asked her reflection. "You're only going in because you're hoping to talk to Lucia."

As Juliet drove to the winery, her thoughts traveled back to what had taken place over the weekend. After she and Andre returned from dinner on Saturday, she feigned a headache in order to discourage him from making sexual advances. It was a stale excuse, but she wasn't really lying, not technically. She did feel out of sorts. And she didn't feel like being with him in that way. Because he was a gentleman, he slept on the sofa and didn't push her for more.

When she got to work, Juliet parked in front of the barn. Luke's truck was there and that prompted her to go inside and say hello. Just as she started down the path, he came outside and when he saw her, he waited.

"I didn't think you'd be here today," she said, catching up to him.

"I'm not really here," he said. "What I mean is, I stopped in to check on something and now I'm leaving. Natalie and I promised the kids we'd take them on a picnic."

"You didn't happen to see Lucia, did you?"

"Not this morning. She came in for a few hours yesterday, but she went home early because she said she was tired and didn't feel good. As far as I know, she was drinking on Saturday night and I guess she got home late."

"Where did she go?" Juliet felt a knot forming in her chest.

"I don't think she'd want me to tell you that."

"She already told me she's a lesbian if that makes any difference."

"She did?" Luke looked and sounded relieved. "Good. Now I don't have to worry about opening my big mouth and outing her without her permission. She wouldn't like it if I did that."

"Where does she go when she drinks?" Juliet asked him a second time.

"Some lesbian bar in Ithaca." Luke absentmindedly rubbed at the stubble on his chin. "She never used to be a drinker. Come to think of it, I don't remember her ever getting drunk, even when she was in college, and we all did that didn't we?"

"Even I did, once or twice," Juliet said.

"Don't get me wrong," Luke continued. "She's an adult and she can do whatever she wants. It's just that I worry about her. I worry that she'll get in an accident or get herself arrested for a DUI."

Juliet sensed that Luke wanted to say more, but was holding back. Maybe she ought to bring a few things out into the open. "She also told me about Devin."

"She told you about that? She never tells anyone."

"She didn't tell me much," Juliet clarified. "But enough to make me understand what she's been going through."

"She hasn't been the same since it happened," Luke said. "That's when the drinking started along with the mood swings. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my wife or one of my children. I can't even comprehend how hard that would be."

"I can't either, Luke." Juliet had never loved anyone that way and the reality of that made her sad, made her wonder what was lacking in her. Was she even capable of love? Her weekend with Andre substantiated her fear that she would never be in love with anyone. She should have wanted to have sex with him and she didn't. She should have been happy to see him and she wasn't.

"I just want Lucia to be happy again," she heard Luke say. "I'd give anything to see her heal and go on with her life. She was upset on Sunday and I don't know why."

Juliet knew why. "Do you think I'll see her today?"

"I wouldn't plan on it and if I were you I wouldn't go down to her cottage to find her, either. When she's like this, it's better to leave her alone." Luke paused and then he said, "I'll call her later today to check on her. When she gets herself together, she'll come around."

"Thanks for the advice."

Luke glanced at his watch. "I'd better get going."

"And I'd better get to work. Enjoy your day off."

JULIET WORKED UNTIL lunchtime before calling it a day. She had nothing left to do and as the hours slipped away she gave up all hope of running into Lucia. Luke had advised her not to go to Lucia's cottage and based on what he'd said she thought it best not to try and call her. As she walked to her car, she saw Lucia bending over the flower beds in front of the barn. Her heart beat faster and faster with every step she took and when she got close to Lucia, she stopped and waited to be acknowledged.

Lucia straightened up and took off her gardening gloves. Her eyes shifted from one thing to another as she shook the dirt off them and tucked them into one of the pockets of her jeans. "I saw your car when I came over to make some calls and check my messages. I was just on my way to say hello."

"When you spotted those weeds?"

Lucia's smile didn't extend beyond the corners of her mouth. "I got obsessed about pulling them out. I even went back inside to get my gloves."

"I was hoping I'd see you today."

"You were?" Lucia's eyes finally met Juliet's, but her face held no clues as to what she might be feeling. "I'm finished here and I have a few more things to do in my office. Why don't you come in and keep me company?"

"All right. I wanted to talk to you."

"Then come with me. We'll talk inside."

Juliet followed Lucia and sat in her office while Lucia went into the bathroom to wash her hands. When Lucia re-joined her, Juliet finally had the chance to express what she had been yearning to say all day.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't come to dinner on Saturday," she began. "I really wanted to. Andre didn't tell me he was coming. He didn't even call. He's never done that before and if he had called I would have told him I had plans."

"Don't worry about it."

"Once he was there, I didn't know what to do," Juliet added.

"I'm sure you'd much rather be with your boyfriend than to spend a Saturday night hanging out with me. I may be a lesbian, but I do understand those things." Lucia turned to her computer and logged on.

"I know that, but I still felt bad about it," Juliet said. "You went to a lot of trouble and you were already making dinner."

"I felt bad about it, too, but it's not a problem. I'll eat the leftovers this week."

How could Juliet even begin to express what was really on her mind? How could she confess that she'd wanted to be with Lucia and not with him? How could she justify her feelings? She wasn't saying what she wanted to say, what she needed to say, and she was painfully aware that she wasn't in touch with what that was.

"Why don't I make it up to you, take you out to dinner this week?" Juliet asked.

"That's not necessary." Lucia faced Juliet, her expression neutral. "Besides, we're leaving for Atlanta on Friday and we'll be spending the weekend together. Speaking of our trip, I'm glad I ran into you because I wanted to talk to you about our plans. Luke will drive us to the airport, so bring your bags to work with you."

"What time is the return flight? I forgot." Juliet listened while Lucia went over their flight times again as well as their itinerary for the weekend and when she was done Juliet asked her, "Do you need me to do anything before we go, here at the winery?"

"Not that I can think of. We won't get any work done on Friday, so why don't you sleep in and get here by eleven? We'll leave right after that."

"That's a good idea. We'll enjoy the awards ceremony a lot more if we're not tired," Juliet said. Lucia had moved on to discuss something else and Juliet wondered if she'd been wrong all along. Maybe Lucia didn't care that she had cancelled their dinner plans on Saturday. If she did feel bad about it, she wasn't about to let Juliet know.

They talked for a few more minutes about the clothes they were going to take and as Lucia spoke, her sadness showed around her eyes. It occurred to Juliet that she might be seeing her own feelings reflected in those eyes. "Are you all right? You look tired."

"I'm tired most of the time," Lucia said.

"Have you been sleeping lately?" Juliet asked, knowing Lucia would not share with her what Luke had related about her activities over the weekend. She was shutting down, retreating into herself, and protecting herself.

"Not as well as I should but that's not new," Lucia said. "I guess I've been thinking about going back to Atlanta. Devin and I lived there for many years and I'm wondering how I'm going to handle all the memories that are bound to come up."

"I'll be there with you," Juliet said, surprised by Lucia's openness.

"I know."

Juliet endured the pregnant silence that followed and then rose to her feet. There was nothing she could say, nothing more she could do. She felt confused by her feelings, torn between wanting to know what was going on inside Lucia's mind, wanting to comfort her somehow, and wanting to keep her promise not to be nosy. Lucia was fighting to keep her feelings safely locked away and Juliet had a newly discovered need to set hers free.

"I'm going home," she told Lucia. "Do you need me to do anything before I leave?"

Lucia shook her head almost imperceptibly. "You go home. Don't worry about me."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I'll see you tomorrow."

Chapter Fifteen

DURING THE SHORT flight to Atlanta, Lucia told Juliet about the city she'd lived in for ten years. She stuck with safe topics like the weather, her favorite places to eat and the activities she'd enjoyed. After grad school, she and Devin were itching to get away from Ithaca and Atlanta had appealed to them for a number of reasons. It was a much warmer and sunnier climate compared to Ithaca and Devin had grown up in the Atlanta suburbs. She pled her case, telling Lucia it was a young, modern city and one of the more gay friendly cities in the nation. Once Lucia had received a job offer she couldn't pass up, their fate was sealed.

Lucia had loved the home she and Devin shared there, a craftsman-style home in the section where most of the lesbians resided. As it turned out, her job took her away for long hours and kept her from that home and the woman she loved. Devin always said she understood and Lucia believed her. But looking back on it, Lucia was positive that Devin hadn't been completely honest with her. She must have hated the nights she spent alone. She must have been angry, angrier than she admitted, about all the ruined dinners, all the cancelled plans.

Back then, the future stretched in front of them like an endless string of possibilities. Lucia had a strategy. She'd earn her nest egg while she could and then she'd slow down and enjoy the fruits of her labor. In the future she would make everything up to Devin, mend all the broken promises, and erase all the disappointments. They'd be able to travel, they'd be together, and she would be by Devin's side where she belonged.

Although Lucia believed going to Atlanta could help her heal, she knew it might be tough. That was what had prevented her from going back before now. Lately, she'd come to realize how heavy a burden the unfinished business she carried around had become. She'd shamelessly neglected their closest friends, the lesbian couple who'd lived next door. They'd been her greatest source of support after Devin's death, second only to her family, and after she left Atlanta, she'd only spoken to them once or twice.

After the plane landed and they retrieved their bags, they drove to the hotel to get ready for the Friday evening banquet where the medal winners would be announced. When they learned they'd won four medals, Lucia was thrilled. Simply Foxy won a gold medal in the blended red hybrids category, Graceful Light a gold medal in the blended whites fifteen dollars or less category, and Lac Bleu a silver medal in the category of blended varietals. And Luke's chardonnay won a silver medal in its price category.

ON SATURDAY, THEY attended the final event on the competition's schedule, an all-day wine and food exhibition. At five-thirty, they returned to their hotel and as soon as they were in the room, Lucia dropped her bulging bag of freebies on the floor near the door and hurried over to the loveseat. "I have to sit down. My feet hurt."

"Mine do, too." Juliet kicked off her shoes and sunk into the chair next to her bed. "We've been standing and walking all day."

"I'm proud of you and Luke," Lucia said. "Winning those medals was the best thing of all and it made me happy to see them on display for everyone to see."

"Those wines were competitive and they deserved to win," Juliet said. "But I have to say, I was surprised we won two gold medals and two silver medals. That was more than I expected."

"I wasn't counting on winning any," Lucia said. "You keep proving to me how right I was to hire you. When we get home we'll put our medals on display. You can help me find a place."

"Why don't we put them above the sales counter or near the tasting bar?"

"I like both ideas. People love to buy things that win awards."

"That's because they think it means they're better and they're probably right," Juliet said. "They've been given a stamp of approval by those in the know."

Lucia rested her head on the back of the loveseat, closed her eyes and moaned. She had a slight headache and underneath it a sense of being emotionally drained.

"Are you all right?" Juliet asked.

"A little headache, that's all." Lucia opened her eyes and turned toward Juliet, the woman who had borne the brunt of some of her worst moments. She was staring back at Lucia with warmth and kindness in her eyes. Why hadn't she run the other way by now? Lucia wondered what made Juliet want to stick around and what it was about Juliet that made her want to open up and reveal her innermost thoughts and feelings whenever they were together. Lucia hadn't wanted to open up to anyone for a long time, so why her?

"Would it help to take a nap?" Juliet asked.

"It might, but I think it would help more to talk to you." Lucia took a moment. "I thought it would be hard to come here and I was right. It's made me take a good hard look at the way I've been since Devin's death and--"

"Go on."

"And I don't know who I am anymore."

"I know who you are." Juliet said this as she moved to the loveseat and sat next to Lucia. She reached for Lucia's hand.

"What kind of person am I, Juliet?"

Juliet thought for a moment before she replied. "You've lost the woman you loved. You're hurt and you're angry, but beneath the hurt and anger you're the kind of person who cares deeply about things. You're a person with a good heart."

"How can you know that about me?" Lucia gripped Juliet's hand tighter. Juliet's kind words were more than she deserved. They described the person she used to be, the person she yearned to be again someday, but not the person she'd been the last two years. She was afraid to say anything for fear of losing control of her emotions and terrified to discover what would happen if she did.

"I've upset you," Juliet said gently.

Lucia swallowed her tears. "No, I just--"

"What? You can tell me."

After a steadying deep breath, Lucia said, "Grief is like a cancer. It eats away at you destroying you cell by cell until there's nothing left. I'm full of scars and wounds that won't heal and I feel like the best parts of me are gone forever."

Juliet kept Lucia's hand in hers and moved closer. "You're not destroyed and you're going to be all right. You have to believe that."

"Do you really think so?"

"I think so because I know it's true," Juliet said. "I won't ask questions, but I want you to know I'm here to listen if you need to talk. As long as you know it's your choice and we don't have to talk about anything that causes you pain."

"Let's not, okay?" Lucia let go of Juliet's hand. She wanted to keep holding it, but didn't know if Juliet would be uncomfortable. "Could we just enjoy being together?"

"We can do that. What would you like to do?"

"I don't feel like going out."

"I don't either. I'd rather stay here with you," Juliet said.

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"That would be nice. Are you hungry?"

"Not after all the food we had today," Lucia said.

"Me either, but I could go for a cup of coffee."

"They have coffee in the lobby." Lucia got to her feet. "I'll go get us some. Want anything else while I'm down there?"

"If they have cookies or apples, bring me one of each in case I should happen to get hungry later on."

"I suppose we both will, eventually. I'll be right back."

"Take one of the key cards with you. While you're gone, I'm going to hop in the shower and put my pajamas on."

"I'll do the same as soon as you're through."

WHEN LUCIA RETURNED, Juliet was emerging from the bathroom holding a towel over her bare breasts. She wore nothing but a pair of panties. Lucia set the coffee and other things on the dresser, making a concerted effort to conceal the stolen glances she was enjoying whenever she could. With her heart at a full gallop, she sat on the edge of the bed and tried to keep her eyes on something other than Juliet's body.

Juliet's flat abdomen, firm thighs, and toned shoulders and arms were proof of the physical nature of her occupation. She wasn't muscular, merely firm, and yet she still had a feminine softness with curves in all the right places.

Lucia picked up the binder of hotel information and pretended to flip through the pages, a ploy intended to keep her from staring at the swell of Juliet's breasts or the lines of her adorable backside. Lucia pictured herself going over to Juliet and pulling the towel away. Her breasts would be the perfect size and so soft. Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to imagine how they would feel pressed against her own.

"I couldn't wait to get my bra off," Juliet announced.

"That always feels good." Christ. Lucia was astonished she could form words.

Juliet went over to her suitcase which she'd left open on her bed. Facing away from Lucia, she threw the towel onto the bed and slipped a sleeveless cotton top over her head. Quickly, she pulled on a pair of baby-blue pajama bottoms.

"Juliet, I--" Lucia's mouth felt as dry as the cotton in Juliet's pajamas. What in the world had led her to this place of madness? Juliet not only worked for her, she was not a lesbian and as if that wasn't enough, she had a boyfriend. Out of nowhere, Lucia was struck by a revelation. This wasn't about her being a lesbian who was reacting to the sight of a physically attractive woman. She wasn't in Georgie's bar and Juliet was no stranger. This was someone she cared about.

"You have a weird expression on your face." Juliet was staring at her.

"Do I?" Lucia scrambled to grab her suitcase which she threw onto the bed. She took out clean underwear and a pair of pajamas. "I should take a shower. This coffee's too hot and I'll be done by the time it's cool enough to drink."

ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES later, Lucia emerged from the bathroom with her pajamas on. Her cheeks were flushed as she walked past Juliet on the way to her suitcase. Juliet studied her as she folded the clothes she'd worn that day and neatly put them away. She seemed flustered and in a hurry.

"There. I feel better now," Lucia said.

Juliet was at a loss for words. Objectively, anyone would agree that Lucia was a very attractive woman, but what astonished Juliet was how beautiful Lucia appeared to her at that moment. She was in her pajamas, fresh and clean, and her hair was damp and wild. Juliet had never looked at anyone in quite the same way and she had never seen a more breathtaking sight.

"You're awfully quiet all of a sudden." Lucia closed her suitcase and wheeled it to the other side of the room. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Juliet said. "The coffee's good. Sit down and enjoy it."

"The girl at the desk said they just brewed it." Lucia retrieved her cup of coffee and sat on the loveseat. "I was thinking."

"Uh, oh. Is that good or bad?"

Lucia laughed. "It's good. My friends aren't expecting us for dinner tomorrow until six. Why don't we take in some of the sights before we go to their house? I'd like to take you to see Underground Atlanta."

"What's Underground Atlanta?" Juliet asked.

"Back in the 1920's they built a new city right on top of the old one. Now the old city is underground and full of shops and restaurants. I know a great place where we can have brunch providing it's still there. If not, there are plenty of other places. After that we can walk around and do a little shopping."

"I'd like that very much."

"We'll go over to Paula and Kristen's from there."

"Tell me how you met them, if you want to, that is."

"They were our next door neighbors. We met them the day after we moved in."

"How long has it been since you've seen them?" Juliet asked.

"I haven't seen them since I left Atlanta."

Juliet recognized the fleeting pain in Lucia's face. That pain was an integral part of Lucia, woven into the fabric of her essence so tightly that Juliet felt she knew it as well as she knew Lucia. "I'm looking forward to meeting them."

"You'll like them." The pain on Lucia's face disappeared, replaced by a mischievous smile. "You must feel surrounded by lesbians. I hope it's not too much for you."

"I can handle it. It's not contagious, is it?"

"Not that I know of."

"Then I have nothing to worry about."

Lucia laughed. "This is fun, being here with you. It makes me appreciate how being alone most of the time can mess up your mind. I'm a perfect example of that."

"I don't see you as messed up."

"That's a relief." Lucia grabbed the remote control. "Let's see what's on tonight. If there's nothing good on the regular channels we can pay for a movie."

Juliet put her coffee on the night table, climbed on top of her bed and propped her pillows behind her back. "I'm ready. Start surfing."

Chapter Sixteen

ON SUNDAY AT ten minutes before six, Lucia pulled into the driveway of Paula and Kristen's house. They'd made a few changes to their house since she'd last seen it. A new red door with a large wreath of artificial flowers and four red rocking chairs on the front porch were the items that caught her attention. Otherwise, it looked the same. She switched off the ignition, her eyes drawn to the house next door. Their house, the house she and Devin had lived in. This was the moment she had dreaded ever since their plane's landing gear touched the ground in Atlanta.

Lucia's former home stood where it always had and aside from some changes in the landscaping, it appeared fundamentally unaltered. Houses always carried on, unmoved by the events that had happened to the people who once dwelled within the embrace of their walls. All the love and happiness they'd once shared, all the heartaches and sorrows, all the anger and unkind words, were retained within those walls for eternity. To the casual onlooker, this house was merely one of many standing in a row. But for her it held the soul of a life, a soul and a life that used to belong to her.

It seemed to her that she had lived there only yesterday and in another way it seemed like she had never lived there at all. As scenes from her life flickered through her mind like a shuddering silent film, she sat frozen behind the wheel. In one, she and Devin were kissing at the front door the day they made settlement. Devin had been filled with joy that day, but Lucia was unable to bring to mind a clear image of Devin's face.

The next scene was about the day their new furniture was delivered. They had argued over something too stupid to remember and later that night, despite being exhausted, they apologized and made love in their new bed. The memory of making love with Devin was as clear to Lucia as if it had occurred last night.

"Lucia? Do you want to go in?" Juliet touched Lucia's arm.

Lucia shoved her memories aside and came back to the present, unsure of how long she'd been sitting there. She turned in her seat to face Juliet. "Sorry about that. I got lost in my thoughts."

"Are you okay about being here?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's just hard." Lucia unbuckled her seat belt.

"If it helps any, you're not alone. Try to remember that."

"It does help. Let's go in."

"IT'S REALLY YOU." The timbre of Paula's voice seemed higher than usual as she opened the door and greeted them. She hadn't changed much in the last two years, just as tall, willowy and handsome as ever. Her salt and pepper hair seemed to have acquired no added salt and her level of excitement was as elevated as ever. She sounded breathless as she spoke. "I can't believe it's you. We've been waiting all day for this."

"It's me," Lucia said. "You look good. Your hair is shorter."

"Yeah, it's a lot shorter. Do you like it?"

"I love it. It's very flattering."

"Thanks. Kristen likes it, too. I did it on a whim last summer when it was scorching hot and then I got used to it. You look good yourself." Paula grabbed Lucia into a hug. "I can't tell you how wonderful it is to see you."

Lucia allowed Paula to hold her for as long as she wanted. She knew Paula couldn't possibly think she looked good. At the very least, she was tired and it showed. Even last night in the hotel room with Juliet, after that long exhausting day at the wine and food exhibition, she'd had trouble sleeping. "It's wonderful to see you."

Paula let Lucia go and moved to the bottom of the stairs. She yelled to the top, "Hey, honey, Lucia's here! Hurry up and come down."

Several seconds later, Kristen came bounding down the stairs. She hadn't changed much either. Paula's opposite, she was shorter and wider with glasses and medium length brown hair. Her coloring was light where Paula's was dark and it wasn't hard to see that her feet were planted firmly on the ground whereas Paula's were bouncing all over the place. After giving Lucia a huge hug she held her at arm's length. "It's about time you came to see us. We've missed you."

"I've missed you, too," Lucia said. "You may not believe me, but I'm sorry it's been so long. I've had--I mean, it's been--"

"Don't." Paula took hold of Lucia's arm. "You don't need to explain a thing. We can't imagine how hard the last two years have been for you."

"I wanted to see you, I really did, and I thought about you a lot," Lucia said. Paula had agreed on the phone that they would not get into anything distressing unless Lucia chose to and Lucia was relieved that they hadn't forgotten. She took the opportunity to re-direct the conversation by introducing Juliet.

"Let's not stand in the foyer all evening," Paula said after all the introductions were completed. "We'll be more comfortable in the living room. We aren't having dinner right away, so we can have a drink and talk."

In the middle of the living room, Lucia let her eyes roam around the room. "Your house is just about the same as I remember it."

She and Devin had spent many evenings in this home, having dinner, celebrating a holiday, or simply hanging out. Being here then was easy, but today Lucia did not find it so. Everything triggered more memories and forced her to face what distance had helped her to ignore. She tried to shake the past from her mind and assured herself she would get through this.

"That picture over the fireplace is new," Paula pointed out. "We bought it at an art fair last summer. And we bought that leather chair over there in the corner a few months ago. The rest is the same."

"The picture looks good there," Lucia said. "Isn't their house nice, Juliet?"

"Yes, it's very cozy," Juliet said. "I love the light in this room."

Paula leaned forward in her chair. She asked about Luke and his family and then she asked about the winery. "We were so happy for you when you bought the winery. How are things going? Are you doing well?"

"We're doing extremely well, better than I ever thought we would. It's a beautiful place to live and it's a good life," Lucia said. She spent some time telling them about the winery and the story about how Juliet joined them. "Business is booming since Juliet came to work for us."

Paula turned her attention to Juliet. "Have you ever been to Atlanta?"

"This is my first time. Lucia showed me around a little today, before we came over here. It's an interesting city and very appealing." Juliet proceeded to tell them how she and Lucia had spent their day.

"Lucia mentioned that you're from Montreal," Paula said. "We've never been there, but we heard it's a beautiful city."

"You should see it at least once," Juliet said. She talked with them about Montreal and answered questions about her background.

Lucia paid attention as Juliet conversed with Paula and Kristen about her life, even though she'd already heard most of what Juliet was telling them. Juliet was carrying the conversation and when she talked about being a winemaker and transitioned into telling them about the wine competition, Lucia let her take the lead. Any topic that didn't center on her was a welcomed diversion.

During a pause, Paula quickly got to her feet. "What's wrong with me? We've been so busy gabbing I forgot to get the drinks I promised you." Paula went over the beverage options, one of them being a pitcher of homemade margaritas.

"I'll have a margarita," Lucia said. "I could use a drink."

"I'll have the same," Juliet said.

Paula and Kristen left to get the drinks and as soon as they were gone, Juliet said, "They're nice, Lucia. I can see why you were such good friends."

"They're good people," Lucia said.

Juliet studied Lucia's face. "How are you holding up so far?"

"Not bad as long as we don't focus on me. My friends said they wouldn't bring up the past or talk about Devin and I'm grateful that they're being true to their word," Lucia said. "Having you with me is making this a lot easier. Stay close will you?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

When Paula came back she was carrying a tray of drinks, napkins and small plates. Kristen came in behind her carrying another tray that had bowls of salsa and guacamole on it along with a platter of tortilla chips.

"I hope you guys are hungry," Paula said. "Kristen made fresh salsa and she makes the best guacamole this side of the Mississippi."

"I warned Juliet she'd better save her appetite," Lucia said. "You two have quite a reputation for putting on a spread for your guests."

"What can we say?" Kristen shrugged her shoulders. "We love to entertain."

"Devin used to--" Lucia stopped in mid-sentence. What the hell was she doing? She'd been worried about her friends bringing things up and here she was, doing it for them. She had to be more careful if she was going to survive being in this house with her friends, so close to everything she'd lost.

"What were you about to say?" Kristen asked.

"Just that Devin also loved to entertain. She would have had people over a lot more if my job hadn't kept me from coming home at a decent hour."

"You couldn't help it if you had to work. Devin knew that," Kristen said.

"I've got a suggestion," Paula said as if she knew they needed to change the subject. "Why don't we move this party out to the sunroom? I have to start the grill soon and that way I can listen to everyone while I do the cooking."

Everyone picked up as much as they could carry and followed Paula to the back of the house, the mood having been lifted, at least for the time being.

"What are we having?" Lucia asked, once they were relocated.

"Remember those grilled marinated game hens you used to love?" Kristen asked. "We're having them with rice pilaf and Paula's beet and fennel salad."

"That was one of my favorite dinners," Lucia said. She tried to stay in the present, to laugh when the others laughed and contribute when they discussed something of interest, but her mind was distracted. Her anxiety escalated as the evening progressed. She wanted to be carefree, wanted to have a good time like everyone else, but she couldn't wait to get out of there and go somewhere else, somewhere safe.

A while later, Paula and Kristen went off to attend to dinner preparations, leaving Lucia and Juliet alone. As though Juliet knew Lucia was struggling internally, she got up from her own seat and went over to sit next to her. "This has to be awfully hard for you," she said, resting her hand on Lucia's.

Lucia curled her fingers around Juliet's. "It is." Lucia closed her eyes and gripped Juliet's hand for dear life. If she couldn't talk to her, how was she going to get through the rest of the evening? "I was afraid to come here. We lived right next door and I didn't know what it would be like to be faced with so many memories. Now I'm not sure I have the strength to see this through."

"You'll get through it. You're a strong person."

"You think I'm strong?" Lucia shook her head. "I'm not."

"Is there anything I can do to make it easier?"

"Just be with me."

"I'm right here and if you need to leave after dinner just make up some excuse and we'll go. Whatever you need to do to is fine with me." Juliet put her other hand on top of their joined hands. She was about to say something when Paula burst into the patio and announced that they were ready to eat.

DINNER AND CASUAL conversation temporarily allayed Lucia's concerns and by the time dinner ended it was getting dark outside. Paula proposed they return to the living room for coffee and dessert. On the way, Lucia lagged behind the others, unable to resist pausing at the window to catch a glimpse of her former home. A soft light shone in the room she and Devin had used as a den although she couldn't see what was in there now thanks to the partially drawn curtains.

Outdoor lighting illuminated several areas in the yard and she noticed that the tree Devin had planted in memory of her grandmother had been chopped down. Devin had hoped the tree would grow and fill that corner of the yard providing shade and a home for the birds she loved to feed. Lucia wondered how big the tree had grown before it was cut down. That was something she would never know because the tree was gone. And Devin was gone as well. She was gone forever.

Lucia felt as if a knife had been wedged into her chest. The piercing pain made her wince and clutch at her breast as she tried to breathe. A jolt of panic raced through her as she realized her worst fears were about to come true. She was going to lose it right here, right now, and she didn't know what to do. Tearing herself away from the window, she hurried into the living room.

"There you are," Paula said. "We thought you got lost."

"I was looking at my house and..." Lucia saw the concern on her friends' faces as they all stared at her. She must have looked like a raving lunatic, her eyes darting from one person to the other. "Somebody cut the tree down!"

"We were hoping you wouldn't see that," Kristen said.

"Well, I did." Lucia was in danger of bleeding to death right there in front of them and if she did start to bleed, no one would be able to save her. "What do they care? It's their fucking house now!" She collapsed into the nearest chair.

Paula must have thought she should be the one to explain the situation to Juliet. "Lucia's partner had the tree planted after her grandmother died. It was--"

"Jesus! You promised!" Lucia jumped to her feet.

"I'm sorry, I was only--"

"Don't say another word." Lucia held up her hand to silence Paula. "I can't take any more of this. I have to get out of here. " She bolted for the front door.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Paula yelled after her. Her face had turned a bright red. "Lucia, please don't go."

Lucia turned to Paula, just for a moment. What she was about to do was unkind and unfair, but she had no other choice. "I have to get out of here. Please take Juliet back to the hotel for me."

EVERYONE STOOD PARALYZED as they listened to the front door slam. Juliet ran out onto the porch only to see the rental car screeching out of the driveway and onto the road. Before she could take another step, the rear lights disappeared from view.

Kristen turned to Paula, her hands on her hips. "Damn it, Paula, look what you've gone and done. What's the matter with you?"

"What the hell did I say? And don't blame me because it isn't my fault she saw the tree." Paula folded her arms across her chest and frowned. "Shit."

"You can say that again," Kristen said.

"Shit, shit, shit," Paula repeated, glaring at Kristen. After holding the glare long enough to convey her displeasure, her features relaxed. "We didn't do anything wrong and we shouldn't be fighting with each other. This was hard for everyone and I think that no matter what anyone said or did she would probably have been upset at some point. We thought she could deal with this and she must have thought so, too, or she wouldn't have come."

"You're right. I'm sorry," Kristen put her arm around Paula.

"We're sorry about this," they said to Juliet in unison.

"So am I, sorry for you and sorry for her." Juliet had feared this would happen. She followed Paula and Kristen back into the living room and when they were all seated, she said, "It breaks my heart to see the pain in her eyes day after day and not be able to help her. Getting to know her hasn't been easy and we've had our conflicts. In spite of it all, we've become friends and I care about her."

"We care about her, too," Kristen said. "We only wish we could help her."

"Maybe you can," Juliet told them. "You can start by telling me about Devin's death. Lucia never told me the details and I knew better than to ask her. Maybe that would help me understand what she went through and then I might be able to help her more."

"I don't think she'd want us to do that," Paula said.

"You might as well at this point," Juliet said. "It seems like it's all coming to a head and I'm willing to risk her anger. I'll even take the blame."

Kristen and Paula looked at each other and reached a decision without exchanging a word. "I suppose we've got nothing to lose."

Paula began telling the story. "It was their tenth anniversary and they were having a party and commitment ceremony at their home. Their families were here, their friends, everybody they knew."

"This isn't going anyplace good, is it?" Juliet remarked.

"No it isn't." Paula's face was transformed with sorrow.

Kristen took over for her. "On the day of the party, Lucia's office called and said she had to come in for an emergency meeting. She tried to get out of it, but she couldn't. Her boss promised she'd only have to be there for an hour at the most."

"She was supposed to pick up the cake on her way home," Paula added, having recovered her composure. "Once Lucia got to her office, she found out she'd be stuck there a lot longer and she'd only have time to get home and get ready before the party started. Her secretary called Devin and told her she'd have to get someone else to go for the cake. We know all this because we were at their house helping Devin."

Kristen resumed telling the story. "Devin was furious because Lucia had let her down again because of her job. She called Lucia back, but Lucia got mad and told Devin to get the damned cake and they'd discuss it later."

"We offered to get the cake for her," Paula said. "But Devin said no. She took one of her cousins and went to pick it up herself. They had an accident on the way home and--" Paula opened her mouth but no words came out.

"Devin was killed instantly," Kristen said.

Juliet gasped and covered her mouth.

"Her cousin survived, but she had severe injuries."

"Oh, God, that's horrible. I don't know how Lucia got through that," Juliet said.

"It was the worst day ever," Paula said, having found her voice again. "The police came to their house and told Lucia's brother. He was here with his family."

"Who told Lucia?" Juliet asked.

Paula answered. "Luke called her and told her there was a family emergency and she had to come home right away. The police told her when she got there. According to the police, it was a freak accident, nothing more than a series of unfortunate circumstances that all came together."

"How did Devin actually die?" Juliet asked.

"She hit her head and bled into her brain. She was cremated so there was no viewing. At her memorial service they had her picture next to the urn containing her ashes."

"So Lucia never really saw her again?" That fact was particularly difficult for Juliet to take in and she felt tears filling her eyes.

"Not alive, no," Paula said. "And neither did we."

"Did her family take her ashes?" Juliet asked.

"No. They were completely supportive of Lucia and Devin's relationship and they let Lucia have them. She took them with her when she left."

Juliet wiped her eyes. "Now I understand what Lucia has been through. I expected to hear something bad, but I didn't expect it to be that bad."

"We thought the world of Devin," Kristen said. "We lost a good friend that day."

"We lost two good friends that day," Paula said.

"What happened after that?" Juliet asked.

Kristen continued. "Luke stayed with Lucia for the first couple of weeks. She took a leave of absence at first and eventually she quit her job. "

"We checked on her every day after he went home," Paula said. "We brought her food, even though she hardly ate, and sometimes we stayed with her or she stayed over here. About two months later, Luke helped her sell her house and furniture, and then he took her home with him."

"Lucia made a lot of money, they both did," Kristen explained. "Devin left all she had to Lucia. From what we understood, she had savings, accidental death insurance and some investments."

"That's how Lucia bought the winery." Juliet took a deep breath.

"We always thought of it as some kind of cosmic joke that Devin's death left Lucia well off and forced her to move back home," Paula said. "Devin loved that area. She had an Aunt who lived in Ithaca and that's why she went to Cornell. She and Lucia met there and moved here after they graduated. They liked it here, but they talked about wanting to go live there again someday."

Juliet rose to her feet. "I need to find Lucia. I'm sure she must be hurting and I can't bear to think of her alone."

Paula got up. "First let me call the hotel and see if she's there."

When she returned, Paula reported that the desk clerk hadn't seen Lucia come in and that no one answered the phone in their room.

"Do you have any idea where she might have gone?" Juliet asked.

"Kristen, do you remember that lesbian bar we all used to go to?"

"It's a long shot, but she might be there," Kristen said.

"Let's go and see if she is," Juliet said. "She's been in the habit of going to a lesbian bar at home whenever she gets upset, so she might have gone there."

Everyone gathered near the front door and Paula grabbed her car keys from the hall table. "Here's what we'll do. We'll go to the bar and if she's not there we'll drive you back to your hotel. She'll have to show up eventually."

Chapter Seventeen

PAULA DROPPED JULIET off near the entrance to the bar while she and Kristen went in search of a parking place. Juliet stepped inside and waited for her eyes to adjust. Once images began to form again, she saw a scene unfold before her unlike any she'd ever witnessed. Women were everywhere. They were together in a way that was foreign to her making her feel like she'd been transported through a portal into another world. It took her a few moments before she could move.

Weaving a path through the throng, she scanned every face praying she'd stumble on to Lucia's. A few heads turned as she passed by and once or twice she thought she heard a comment. She was a stranger and she probably appeared stranger yet as she intensely scrutinized every person in the place. As she was about to give up, one final inspection produced a partial view of Lucia seated at the opposite end of the bar. A bit of clever maneuvering was all it took to get closer to her.

Lucia was whispering in the ear of a young, attractive woman with very short dark hair. An empty drink glass sat on the bar in front of her and she held another drink in her hand. Judging by the glassy sheen of her eyes and the manner in which she moved, Juliet was convinced she'd been drinking steadily since she got to the bar.

"Lucia." Juliet tapped her on the shoulder.

Lucia stared in disbelief as if she didn't recognize Juliet. "What are you doing here? How did you even think to look for me in this bar?"

"Paula and Kristen thought you might be here."

"They remembered this place?" Lucia's words ran together. "Are they here?"

"They're parking the car." Juliet wrapped her hand around Lucia's arm.

"Great. A group rescue."

"We were worried about you."

Lucia looked miserable. "I'm sorry I left, I really am, but you didn't need to come looking for me. I would have gone to the hotel later on."

"I know," Juliet said.

"Are you mad at me? Are they mad at me?"

"No one is mad, just concerned," Juliet said. Her next words were directed at the woman Lucia was with. "Would you mind? I need to talk to my friend in private."

The woman silently slid off the barstool and melted into the crowd.

"Thanks a lot," Lucia said. "I was getting somewhere with that one."

"I don't want you to get anywhere with her," Juliet said as she climbed up onto the vacant bar stool.

"Why the hell not?"

"I don't know, I just don't," Juliet said. "Please."

Lucia closed her eyes. "Then what do you want?"

"I want you to come back to the hotel with me."

Lucia opened her eyes and looked directly into Juliet's. "Why?"

"I care about you, that's why."

"I don't know how you can care about me after all I've done to you. You should hate me." Lucia ran her fingers through her hair. "Do yourself a favor and get away from me."

"I don't want to get away from you. I want to help you," Juliet said.

"A few more drinks will help me more than you ever could."

"And being with that woman?"

Lucia grimaced. "That might have helped, at least tonight."

"It's not going to work, you know."

"What's not going to work?" Lucia asked.

"Getting drunk and having sex with strangers."

"So far, it's been working okay." Lucia's head swayed.

"For one night, maybe."

"That's all I can give them."

"Don't you want more than that?"

Lucia appeared to give the question careful consideration. "It doesn't have to last any longer than that. It doesn't mean anything to me."

"I meant, don't you want more in your life?"

"I don't want any ties. I don't want anyone to know me."

"I don't believe you," Juliet said.

Anger sparked in Lucia's eyes. "Why the hell should you care?"

"I've asked myself that question, but I have no answer. I only know that I do," Juliet said. "Maybe being with a stranger helps you forget for a while, but when you get rid of your one-night stand and sober up, you're alone again wallowing in your grief."

"You think I wallow?" Lucia took a gulp of her drink and stared straight ahead. After a moment, she turned her head. "Don't you do enough for me without providing mental health services? I don't remember that being in your job description."

"Now you're making me mad," Juliet said sharply. "I'm not here as your employee and I was under the impression that we'd moved beyond this."

Lucia looked at her and said nothing.

"You need to deal with your pain if you ever plan to get better," Juliet said, thinking she might be getting through to Lucia at last. "I think you know that."

"I do know that."

Juliet rested her hand on Lucia's shoulder. "I'm not going to let you push me away. Your friends told me all about what happened to Devin."

"Of course they did. That's just great." Lucia squeezed her eyes shut. "Remind me to thank them if I ever speak to them again."

"Don't take it out on them. I made them tell me."

Lucia opened her eyes. "I'm not mad at them or you."

"I wish you had told me yourself. You could have, you know."

Lucia's voice was low and Juliet could barely hear her. "Don't you see? I couldn't talk about it. If I could have, you would have been the one I would have talked to."

"You once said you wouldn't talk to me about it. Especially not to me, you said."

"That was true then, but not anymore," Lucia said.

Juliet let her hand roam across Lucia's back as she pulled her closer.

Lucia wrapped her arms around Juliet as much as their positions allowed. Bringing her lips to Juliet's ear, she whispered, "Thank you for coming for me."

Juliet dissolved in Lucia's arms. She wanted to stay there forever, to be there for her, to comfort her and make her feel better. And she wanted to touch her.

PAULA'S VOICE, BREATHLESSLY announcing how relieved she and Kristen were to have found them, intruded into Lucia's consciousness. Reluctantly, Lucia pulled away from Juliet's embrace and acknowledged her friends. "Hello ladies."

"Sorry we took so long. We couldn't find a parking place," Paula said.

"How are you doing, Lucia?" Kristen asked.

"Not bad. I hear you two spilled my terrible story to Juliet."

"Don't be angry," Paula said. "We told her because she thought she could help if she understood what you went through. She cares about you."

"So do we," Kristen said.

"I know and I'm not angry at any of you," Lucia said. "I'm just plain angry." How much longer could she go on keeping everyone at a safe distance? Her grief, like some sinister black ooze, had seeped into every space, every cell, and had stained all the layers of her life. Because of it, her perceptions of the world had become more and more tainted until she'd lost sight of what mattered to her the most. These women were her friends. They cared about her and she needed to find her way back to them.

"We're just thankful that you're all right," Paula said.

"I'm sorry I ran out on you," Lucia told them. "I couldn't take it when I saw that the tree was gone and I--I lost it. It seems stupid, I know. It was just a tree."

"It wasn't stupid, not one bit," Kristen said.

"We'd do anything for you. I hope you know that." Paula put her arm around Lucia and then looked at Kristen as if exchanging an unspoken message. "We should go home. It's been a long day. Will you call us tomorrow before you leave?"

"I will," Lucia said. "Thanks for dinner and for everything else."

"I loved meeting you both and I hope I see you again," Juliet said.

"We loved meeting you," Paula said. "Take care of our friend."

"Lucia, please say it's not the last time we're going to see you," Kristen said.

"It's not. You have my word."

"We don't want to lose you," Paula said. "We love you."

"You won't lose me. I promise," Lucia said. "I'll be in touch."

AFTER PAULA AND Kristen departed, Lucia leaned on the bar and buried her face in her hands. She shook her head gently from side to side. Juliet also noticed that Lucia's hands were trembling. Taking one of Lucia's hands in hers, she tugged at it until Lucia uncovered her face. "We should get out of here."

"Hold on. Let me finish my drink." Lucia took a long swig and cringed.

"How many of those have you had?"

"I don't know. I wasn't counting."

Juliet pulled on Lucia's hand. "Come on, let's go."

Lucia slid off of her barstool and stood by Juliet, but as they started to walk she lost her balance and had to lean against Juliet's side. "I've had too much to drink."

"Just hang on to me." Juliet led Lucia away from the bar.

As they passed the dance floor, Lucia stopped and held Juliet so she couldn't move. "One dance and we'll leave." Without letting Juliet protest, she pulled her onto the dance floor, into an open space, and began swaying to the music.

Juliet was unsure of what to do so she danced. A thumping bass beat vibrated the floor and traveled from the bottom of her feet to the top of her head. As soon as the song ended they stood facing each other, breathing heavily. They hadn't moved yet when the lights dimmed and a slower song began to play. Juliet tried to step away, to get off the dance floor, but Lucia grabbed her and urged her into her arms.

Being held by Lucia stirred up exquisite sensations unlike any Juliet had ever known. Her body began to quiver and she wondered if Lucia was aware of it. Soft breasts pressed against hers while Lucia's warm breaths caressed her neck. The wonder of what she was feeling was all she knew, all she wanted to know.

"You smell so good," Lucia whispered.

Juliet's next breath caught in her throat as Lucia's hand slid beneath her shirt. One stroke of her bare skin and she was set on fire.

Her heart hammered so hard she was certain Lucia felt and heard every beat along with everyone within a ten-foot radius.

"What are you doing?" Juliet whispered in Lucia's ear.

"I want to know how you feel."

Juliet now understood how she should have felt when Andre or the other men she had dated touched her. There was no specific point where she left off and Lucia began. She was caught in a current of desire and she couldn't pull away.

Lucia moved her head until her lips were a mere inch from Juliet's. "I want to kiss you," she whispered. She moved the hand she'd kept on Juliet's bare back to the satiny skin of her midriff, her fingers resting just below Juliet's breasts.

Juliet felt her nipples constricting, her pulse pounding between her legs. She had to breathe in short, rapid bursts. She was more sexually stimulated than she'd ever been and it terrified her. The source of this intense desire was not only a woman, she was her boss and her friend. "I don't know how to handle this," she whispered back.

Lucia dropped her hands to her side and stepped back. "Jesus. What the hell is wrong with me? I shouldn't be touching you like that. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about it?" Lucia shook her head. "Fuck."

"Let's just get out of here and go to our room. We both need to get some rest." The surge of desire Juliet had only moments ago faded as they exited the bar along with any evidence that Lucia would remember her actions the next morning.

Chapter Eighteen

THE INSTANT THEY stepped inside the hotel room Lucia took off running for the bathroom. Juliet heard her throwing up and when she failed to emerge after a reasonable amount of time, she went in to check on her. Lucia was sprawled on the floor in front of the toilet bowl. Kneeling on the floor alongside her, Juliet placed her hand on Lucia's shoulder. "Do you feel like you're going to be sick anymore?"

"I don't think so."

"See if you can stand up." Juliet helped Lucia to her feet and then guided her to the sink. She wet a washcloth with cold water and pressed it to Lucia's forehead.

Lucia moaned. "That feels good."

"Why don't you brush your teeth and I'll help you get into bed?" Juliet stood next to Lucia until she finished that task, aware of how small she seemed, how vulnerable. Was it resignation she was sensing? Was it defeat? Whatever it was, it was new.

Once they were next to Lucia's bed Juliet handed her the pajama top she'd slept in the night before. "Here, put this on."

Lucia stripped down to her panties, threw her clothes on the loveseat, and slipped the soft, cotton top over her head. "I've had a lot more to drink before, but I've never been that sick."

"You're upset. That's part of it."

"I've been upset before, too." Lucia pulled the covers down and got in bed.

"Try to sleep. You'll feel a lot better in the morning." One brief glimpse of Lucia's breasts had made Juliet's heart race like it had on the dance floor. She wasn't so naïve she couldn't interpret the signals her body was sending out. What she didn't know was where it would take her and what she would do about it when she got there.

Lucia peeked out from beneath the covers. "You've been so good to me and I don't think I can sleep unless I know things are okay between us."

"They are, trust me," Juliet said. "Now go to sleep."

With a sigh that sounded more like surrender, Lucia rolled onto her side away from Juliet. A few deep breaths later, she was quiet and apparently asleep.

While Lucia slept, Juliet showered and got ready for bed. Although tired, she felt too stimulated to sleep, so she tried to read. Before long the book slipped out of her fingers and startled her awake. She read a little more, but when the book fell a second time she set it on the night table, turned off the light, and closed her eyes. It had been an evening of revelations, the most startling one being the arousal she had experienced when Lucia touched her. That arousal still lingered and Lucia's words, "I want to kiss you", played over and over again in her mind.

Tomorrow, when she felt rested and her runaway emotions were under control, she'd try to make sense of her feelings for Lucia. Right now she was in no proper state to figure anything out. All she could think of was how that kiss would have felt. She fell asleep imagining it.

"NO! NO! OH, God, help me!" Lucia's screams pierced the stillness in the room.

Having been jarred out of a deep sleep, it took Juliet a second or two to shake off her transient disorientation and figure out where the screams were coming from. When she realized they were coming from Lucia, she jumped out of bed to check on her. "What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?"

Lucia could only nod. She was sitting bolt upright, her eyes wide, her arms wrapped around her chest. "Help me," she sobbed as she rocked back and forth.

Without wasting a second Juliet climbed into bed with Lucia and held her. "Shhh, it's all right. We're in the hotel room, in Atlanta. Everything's all right."

Lucia lay back down taking Juliet with her. She stretched her body against the length of Juliet's and rested her head on her shoulder. "Please stay here. Don't leave me."

"I won't. I'm right here." Juliet stroked Lucia's hair. "Tell me about your dream."

"It was awful."

"Talking about it might help," Juliet suggested.

"Devin. She was--" Lucia had a hard time getting words out. She sounded as if she couldn't breathe let alone speak. "I can't breathe."

"Yes you can. Breathe with me." Juliet held her closer. "Take a deep breath in and blow it out. Now, let's do it again." Juliet repeated the same sequence a few more times until Lucia was calmer.

"It's my fault--all my fault."

"What's your fault? Tell me."

"That she died. It happened because of me."

Juliet shifted so they were lying on their sides facing each other. Her eyes never left Lucia's. "It was an accident. You weren't even there. How could it be your fault?"

"I should have refused to go into work and I should have picked up the cake like I said I would. I was supposed to die, not her." Lucia's eyes held all the anguish they could possibly contain.

"No one was supposed to die. How do you know you would have been in that exact place at that exact moment? How do you know it would even have occurred?"

"I don't."

"Well then?"

"I was too busy, always too busy." Lucia sounded frantic. "I had my secretary call her and tell her she had to get the cake. I didn't even talk to her. I didn't tell her--"

Juliet rubbed Lucia's back. "What? What didn't you tell her?"

"I didn't tell her I loved her. When she called me back I was abrupt with her. I was mean. I was stupid. I hung up on her!" Lucia's sentences shot into the darkness like short bursts of machine gun fire. Finally she paused and sucked in a huge breath. "How could I have done that to her?"

"You did your best at the--"

"No I didn't! I should have been nice to her. I should have told her how much I loved her. I should have treated her right. We were having a commitment ceremony that day." Once the door to Lucia's buried feelings had been flung open, everything came pouring out as if it had been held inside under pressure. "She was safe. She was alive. And I was so damn self-centered I sent her to her death."

Juliet gripped Lucia's shoulder. "Listen to me. Sometimes we're all selfish. It still doesn't mean you caused her death. There was no way you could have known she would have an accident."

"I know, but--"

"But it was an accident." Juliet gently emphasized her point. "Terrible things happen in this life. You can't blame yourself. Tell me you know that."

"I guess I know that."

"Of course you do." Juliet touched Lucia's cheek. It was wet.

"Why did such a beautiful young woman have to die? I loved her so much and in a split second she was gone forever. I never thought I'd be called into work. I was angry about it, but there was a problem with a contract and we would have lost a major account if I had refused to go in. I could have lost my job."

"You did what you had to do."

"That sounds so trivial now, so self-serving. I would have chosen to lose my job if I had known that I was going to lose her instead."

Juliet held Lucia and just let her talk.

"I was irritable that morning. I fussed about some of the things we had to do to get ready for the party as if she could have done anything to make it easier. As usual, she was the one who'd done most of the preparations without any help from me. I didn't kiss her or touch her or say goodbye when I left to go to the office. I never thought--"

"Keep going," Juliet urged. "You need to get this out."

"I never thought I wouldn't see her again."

"It wasn't so bad to say that out loud, was it?"

"No," Lucia whispered. "You know what bothers me even more?"

Juliet didn't feel an answer was required. She waited for Lucia to tell her.

"Her death gave me a brand new life, the life we used to dream of having, the life I now have to live without her." Lucia's body shook as she began to sob. She cried all the tears that she had stuffed away, released all the sorrow she had stored up inside.

"Let it go," Juliet whispered.

Eventually Lucia stopped crying. She sat up long enough to grab a few tissues from the table, blow her nose, and dry her eyes before returning to Juliet's embrace. "I should have told her I loved her, on that day of all days."

"Tell her now."

"I loved you, Devin, so much. I'll always love you."

"What else do you want to tell her?"

"I want to tell her how sorry I am." Lucia lifted her eyes. "I can't do this. It hurts too much and I'm not strong enough."

"You're the strongest woman I know."

Lucia's eyes were filled with anguish. "I miss her so much. I dream about her all the time. Tonight I dreamt her face was bloody and mangled. It was--it was awful."

"It was only a dream. It wasn't real." Juliet rolled onto her back taking Lucia with her. She continued to hold her and when she was quiet and calm she disentangled herself so she could go to her own bed. "Try to sleep. I'll be right over there."

Lucia grabbed Juliet's shirt. "Please don't leave. It comforts me to be next to you."

Juliet lay down and secured her arms around Lucia. "Okay. I'll stay."

Gradually their breathing fell into a pattern and as far as Juliet could tell, Lucia had fallen asleep. As she held her, Juliet's thoughts were consumed by the softness of Lucia's breasts against her side and how incredible it felt to be so close to her. Desire, quite out of place under the circumstances, had made its burning presence known again. She'd have to deal with it somehow, because she believed, based on the events of the evening, that Lucia's sexual advances had been due to excessive drinking and a precarious emotional state. More than likely, they would not be renewed when a new day dawned.

WHEN JULIET'S EYES opened the room was bathed in mellow light and Lucia was still soundly asleep in her arms. Juliet had wanted to comfort Lucia and she had, but for her something else, something more significant, had taken place. For the first time in her life she'd experienced physical intimacy that felt both natural and right.

"Good morning," she said when Lucia stirred. "How do you feel?"

"I'm hung over." Lucia did not move from Juliet's arms. "But I feel better and I'm strangely relieved at the same time."

"I'm not surprised. You let go of a lot."

Lucia tilted her head. "Thanks for being here and for holding me. If it hadn't have been for you I might have shattered into a million pieces."

"I wouldn't let you fall apart."

"I can't believe I cried like that. At the memorial service, everyone cried and I just sat there like a block of stone. I didn't feel anything. I was dead inside."

"You were in shock."

"That's true, but I've never cried for her after that, not even when I was alone."

"Then it's good that you did." Juliet shifted onto her side and faced Lucia. She held her hand cupped against Lucia's cheek. Her heart ran away as she saw Lucia studying her face before letting her eyes drift down to her lips. There was no doubt as to what she had in mind.

"I'm sober and I still want to kiss you."

"I want you to."

Lucia slowly leaned forward until her lips joined Juliet's in a feather-light caress. Gently, she kissed her as if to feel her lips and get to know them and soon afterward her kisses changed, becoming more passionate, more demanding.

The moan Juliet released as Lucia's tongue entered her mouth mingled with Lucia's sharp intake of air. A fire had been ignited in Juliet and each successive kiss added more fuel to the blaze. She no longer had to imagine how it would be to kiss Lucia because this was real and it far surpassed anything her imagination could have conceived of.

Again and again they kissed. As Juliet's passion mounted she molded her body to Lucia's in search of the increased contact she instinctively sought. Her feelings had been bottled up for so long they were running wild and she could not rein them in.

Lucia slid her hand under Juliet's shirt the same way she had on the dance floor only this time she allowed her fingertips to trace the silky swell on the underside of Juliet's breasts. Her hand stilled as if to give Juliet a chance to protest before moving up to cover her breast.

Juliet moaned as Lucia rubbed her nipple. Both of her nipples had become hard and they ached with such intensity she couldn't hold still. Whatever Lucia wanted, whatever she asked for, she would willingly give. She could not say no or stop.

Lucia lifted Juliet's top and exposed her breasts. "You're beautiful," she whispered as she leaned to take one of Juliet's nipples into her mouth. She sucked it and circled it with her tongue and then went back to kissing Juliet's mouth.

Having lost all ability to think rationally, Juliet threw her leg over Lucia's hip. She was wet and her panties were soaked. She longed for Lucia's touch, ached to be relieved of the need Lucia had awakened within her. Any control Juliet still might have had left abandoned her when Lucia wedged her thigh between her legs.

"I want you so much," Lucia said as her mouth returned to Juliet's breast.

Juliet pressed her center against Lucia's thigh and moved against it once, twice, then a third time before she cried out, shaking all over as she climaxed.

Lucia lifted her head. "Did you just--?"

"I couldn't help it." Stunned and self-conscious, Juliet turned away from Lucia and sat up on the edge of the bed. A few heated kisses, some touching, and she had behaved like a hormone ravaged teenager in heat. "We have to stop this. I mean I have to."

Lucia placed her hand on Juliet's back. "I wasn't planning for that to happen."

Juliet turned. "I could have told you to stop."

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to." Juliet went over to her own bed. "It felt so damn good."

Lucia ran her fingers through her hair. "You've got that right."

"I got swept up in the moment. I don't know what came over me."

"We both got swept up in something, that's for sure." Lucia left her bed and grabbed her underwear from her suitcase. "I'm going to take a shower--a long, cold one."

Juliet sat on the bed rubbing her forehead. She had no words to describe how Lucia had made her feel, no parameters to measure the desire Lucia's hands had sparked in her, no way to explain what had taken place between them. Her prior sexual experiences had not prepared her for this and she had never reached orgasm that easily.

In her heart she knew she hadn't lost herself in the heat of the moment. They both came up with that explanation to justify their behavior, but Juliet knew it wasn't true for her. She hadn't been swept away. She'd known exactly what she was doing. Lucia had wanted her and she had wanted Lucia. She still did.

Ten minutes later, Lucia emerged from the bathroom in her underwear. She grabbed a pair of jeans out of her suitcase and quickly pulled them on. As she got to the last two buttons on her shirt she turned to Juliet and made a valiant effort to smile. "God, please tell me you're all right."

Juliet mirrored the smile. "I'm fine."

"You know what I think we should do?"

"I'm afraid to ask," Juliet said, a hint of laughter in her voice. She was glad to see that Lucia appeared neither angry nor upset. In addition, she was acutely aware of how sweet Lucia smelled and how her hair hung in damp curls around her adorable face.

Lucia's laugh was subdued. "Don't worry, you're safe."

"I'm not worried. Now, tell me what you think we should do."

"I think we should get ready to leave and put our things in the car. Then we should go to the restaurant in the lobby and have breakfast. I don't know about you, but I'm hungry and I seriously need some coffee. After we eat we'll have plenty of time to get to the airport and return our rental car before our flight leaves."

"That sounds like a good plan. We had quite a night."

"And quite a morning." Lucia came over and sat on the bed next to Juliet. She held out her hand. "I need to tell you something."

Juliet took Lucia's hand. "What is it?"

Lucia stared at the floor as she spoke. "I feel so much better today and I know why. I want to thank you for being there, for caring about me. I don't know why you do."

"Because you're special," Juliet said quietly.

"So are you and I would never take advantage of you or hurt you in any way. You're important to me and now you know how attracted I am to you." Lucia took a deep breath. "Your friendship means more to me than anything and I swear I would never do anything to jeopardize it."

"I wouldn't either," Juliet said.

"I guess I need to know if you're upset about this morning."

"I'm not upset. I just don't know what to make of it. I do know I wanted to be there for you and I still do. Our friendship means as much to me as it does to you."

Relief washed over Lucia's face. "You mean it?"

Juliet nodded. "Nothing you could ever do would change that."

"Thank God."

"You need to forgive yourself." Juliet brushed her fingers across Lucia's forehead wishing she could brush away every worry line, every trace of sorrow in her eyes. She'd been trying not to touch her for fear of losing herself again, but she had to.

"For what I did last night?"

"No, for what you believe you did to Devin."

Lucia appeared stricken. "I'm afraid if I do forgive myself, I'll be saying that what happened to her doesn't matter, that how I treated her was okay and--"

"And?" Juliet put her arm around Lucia.

"And I'd be letting her go. I'd be saying goodbye."

"Maybe that's what you need to do."

"She once told me if anything happened to one of us the other one should go on with their life. She said she didn't want me to be alone or to live without love."

"Then you know what she'd say to you right now if she were here. If you let her go, it doesn't negate what you had together. Nothing can take that from you."

"I know you're right."

"You don't ever need to forget her, Lucia," Juliet said. "You need to forgive her."

"Forgive her? For what?"

"For dying and leaving you behind."

Lucia paused as if absorbing Juliet's meaning. "I thought I was angry at God, angry at the world because it was unfair, and angry at myself because of what I'd done. I never realized I was angry at her for leaving me."

"That's a lot to think about, isn't it?"

"Yeah--it is." Lucia looked at Juliet, her eyes searching. "Thank you."

Juliet lifted Lucia's hand and kissed it. "I'll shower and get my things together."

"Wait," Lucia said. "Are you sure you aren't upset about this morning."

"We're both consenting adults. The fact that we kissed and touched each other in an emotionally charged situation doesn't have to come between us, does it?"

"No, it doesn't. And it's probably better if we're friends and not lovers," Lucia said. "I really haven't forgotten that you aren't a lesbian."

Juliet's behavior had been contrary to the way she'd always defined herself. In their own way and for their own reasons, both she and Lucia were skirting the issue. One thing she could not avoid, however, was the fact that something irrevocable had changed inside of her. The room felt as though someone had bumped up the heat. She was confused and the air was thick with intangibles.

With a heavy heart, she wondered why Lucia had seemed so sad when she said it was better they be friends and not lovers. Before her own sadness showed, Juliet rose to her feet. "It won't take me long to get ready."

Chapter Nineteen

THE FOLLOWING WEDNESDAY afternoon, Juliet was busy running tests in the lab on a red wine she planned to begin bottling by the end of the week. That morning, she and Luke had bottled almost two-thirds of the white wine she and Lucia had named Great Spirit White with the expectation of finishing the rest of it by tomorrow afternoon. Juliet loved bottling wine, loved the jingling sound the bottles generated as they were propelled along the conveyor belt and the way that sound mixed with the metallic clattering of the machinery. And even though she'd seen it hundreds of times, she never tired of watching the machines carry out their automated tasks with uninterrupted precision.

She had seen Lucia, had even talked to her since the weekend in Atlanta, but neither of them alluded to the physical intimacy they'd shared in Lucia's bed. During the flight home, Lucia had rested her head on the back of her seat and closed her eyes, apparently feeling no need to broach the subject. Juliet had stared at a book, pretending to read, even though the words were no more than black ink on white paper as her mind labored to make sense of the transformation taking place inside of her.

Luke was waiting for them when their plane landed and after they got to the winery he went out to the vineyards. Lucia said she was going to her office to check her mail and when she finished that she was going home to rest. She didn't give any indication that she wanted to talk or that she was upset in any way, so when she suggested Juliet take the rest of the day off, Juliet got in her car and went home.

"What are you working on?" Lucia asked as she came into the lab, putting an end to Juliet's mental review of the last few days.

"I'm clarifying the new red so I can bottle it this week."

"Which one?" Lucia came closer.

"The Baco noir. I think you'll be pleased with it."

"I'm sure I will be. I'm pleased with everything you've done so far."

"Thank you for saying that. Every time Luke and I go out to inspect the grapes we get more and more ideas about what we want to make from the harvest. It's going to be a lot of work."

"Everyone will help you," Lucia said. "Including me."

Juliet smiled her appreciation. "I'm glad you came over."

"I wanted to talk to you. I haven't seen you much since we got back."

"I also wanted to talk to you about an idea I had."

"You go first," Lucia said. "What I wanted to talk about can wait."

"You have a wine named Summer Breeze and I thought it would be nice to come up with a wine for each season. A blush would be perfect for the spring. We could call it Spring Blush or First Blush of Spring or something along those lines."

"I like Spring Blush. What about the other two seasons?"

"For the fall we could do a red blend and name it Autumn Sunset and for the winter wine I thought a dry, crisp white blend would be nice with a name like Winter Chill. Of course we can call it something else if that doesn't appeal to you."

"I love the name Winter Chill," Lucia said. "And I love the four season's theme. We could market them as our wines for all seasons."

"I ran it by Luke and he liked the idea."

"Good. Then it's settled," Lucia said.

LUCIA GRABBED A stool and sat a few feet away from Juliet. She loved to watch her work, in part because the winemaking process intrigued her and in part because she simply enjoyed the sight of her. Who wouldn't? Lately, she'd begun to crave the serenity that took hold of her whenever she occupied the same space as Juliet. She wanted to tell Juliet how much she valued having her, not only as a winemaker, but as a person and a friend. She wanted Juliet to know how much it meant to her to have her in her life, but she couldn't say it. All she could manage was to stare at her in silence.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Juliet asked.

Lucia took a moment before answering. "I keep thinking about last Sunday night in the hotel, when we were in my bed. You were so kind, so caring. And the other thing I can't get out of my mind is what happened in the morning. I feel I should say something about that."

"I don't need you to, unless you want to."

"I do. I had no right to take advantage of you. It won't happen again." Lucia felt so dishonest because the truth was that she did want it to happen again, all of it and more. Even at this moment, she'd give anything to kiss Juliet and touch her. In fact, she'd been having a hard time concentrating on anything else. This attraction was something she hadn't anticipated and it was growing with each passing day. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, it never left her alone, not for one minute. It was dangerous, way too risky, and it had the potential to ruin everything.

If she didn't tread carefully and keep her desires in check she could lose a valuable friend and worst yet she could lose an excellent winemaker and jeopardize the winery's future. Any disregard for Juliet's sexual preferences or feelings would be a costly mistake Lucia couldn't afford to make.

Juliet took the few steps that brought her a breath away from Lucia. She placed her hand on Lucia's forearm. "I can see you're concerned.

Please don't be."

"I'm your boss and we're supposed to be friends."

"We are friends. I kissed you, too, you know."

"Believe me, I know. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me." Lucia slid off the stool and stood in front of Juliet.

"Nothing about you makes me uncomfortable." Juliet pulled her into a hug.

Lucia could not tame her crazy heart or smother the sound that escaped with her next breath. If only she could hold Juliet the rest of the day and be with her. If only.

Lucia remained close once Juliet let go of her. "I didn't say anything about what happened on the flight home because I didn't know what to make of it. I still don't."

"I'm not entirely sure myself," Juliet said.

"I didn't want you to think I was ignoring the issue, or you."

"I didn't," Juliet said. "You said you were attracted to me. What about that?"

"It's still there," Lucia admitted. "But I don't know where it's coming from or why I feel that way. Maybe we were just swept away." Lucia had to get back to being Juliet's boss and friend. She had to control her rampant libido before it got her into a mess. "For now I think we should put it aside and go on the way we've been."

"We can do that," Juliet said.

"I wanted to talk to you about something else." Lucia thought this was a good time to change the subject before she said more than she should. "I'm sure you know the Finger Lakes Wine Festival is coming up the weekend after this one."

"Yes, I know. I've gone to it the last two years." Juliet frowned.

"I see that look and I'll say it for you. It's hot as hell and annoying."

"Don't forget hectic and exhausting."

"I haven't. I dread going as much as you do. Still, we need to be there."

"We can't afford not to be," Juliet said. "We'll sell more wine over that one weekend than you could sell in a month at the winery."

"That's what makes it essential that we go," Lucia said. "I got a good booth in a tent with some of the best wineries."

"What are you planning in terms of who does what?"

"Luke, Rob, and Dennis will set up the booth on Friday and deliver the wines and supplies. I'm going to man the booth on Saturday with Kim and Dennis while Luke, Natalie and Rob stay at the winery. Would you go with me so there will be four of us? That way we can take breaks when we need to."

"Of course. What about Sunday?" Juliet asked. "I can help both days."

"Thanks, you can help me at the winery. Luke, Natalie and Rob will do the festival booth and I'll stay at the winery with Dennis and Kim.

That was the only day Natalie's mother was free to watch the kids."

"Should I come here on Saturday morning and go to the festival with you or do you want me to meet you there?"

"Come here and Luke will take us there. We'll leave around eight."

"I'll be here around seven-thirty."

"One more thing," Lucia said, feeling suddenly shy and nervous. "I invited Carolyn and Lisa to dinner at my place this Saturday. They wanted me to ask you to come and I'd also like you to, very much. If you don't have a date, that is."

"I don't have a date. I'd love to come."

"That guy you're dating. What did you say his name was?" Lucia instantly regretted asking about him. Did she really want to bring up the subject of Juliet's boyfriend?

"Andre."

"Well, if Andre shows up like he did the last time or calls and wants to see you just call me. If you have to cancel at the last minute I'll understand." Lucia chose not to heed the admonition inside her head that told her not to dig for information that would torment her. She didn't stand a chance of being romantically involved with Juliet, so she had no right to be hurt thinking of her with him or anyone else. Someday, someone would win Juliet's heart and Lucia had to come to terms with that. If it wasn't Andre, it would be some other man.

"I'll make sure there's no chance of that," Juliet said. "I was planning on coming to work on Saturday, so I'll bring a change of clothes with me. That way I can shower and change before I come over."

"Come early so we can have some time together before they get there. If you don't mind, you can help me with the dinner preparations. I told them to come around six."

"I should be there by three-thirty or four."

"That would be perfect." Lucia had run out of things to say and seemingly, so had Juliet. "So--I'll see you. I suppose I should go do something constructive," Lucia said as she began to walk out of the lab.

"Wait. Don't go yet," Juliet said before Lucia reached the door. "I wanted to go out to the vineyards before I go home. Do you want to come with me?"

"I'd like that. Crazy as it sounds it makes me feel good to see my grapes, to smell them and touch them. I find it therapeutic. I'm actually beginning to care about them."

"Now you know how Luke and I feel," Juliet said.

"I suppose I do. Being with them makes me feel more grounded and connected to the earth. I can't express it any better than that."

"You don't have to, not to me."

"Something you said during your interview made me realize just how detached and indifferent I've been. It was a saying about the owner's footprints in the vineyards."

"I shouldn't have said that."

Lucia raised her hand. "What you said was right and I needed to hear it. This is my farm, my winery and I should know what goes on out there. I should care."

"Then I'm glad I did say it."

"So am I. You've helped me in more ways than I can count and I'm grateful to you for all of it. You came into my life just in time."

"Anything I've done, I've done for you."

Lucia did not respond to that. She wanted to, but she feared the content of what she might say as much as she feared where this conversation was headed. Every time they were anywhere near each other, things became intimate. They seemed to have crossed some invisible line and now they could not step back over to the other side. "I have to take care of one thing before we go out. Can you give me half an hour?"

"I'll stop by the barn and pick you up."

"See you then." Lucia walked away, turning once to wave goodbye.

JULIET DROVE LUCIA to the section of grape vines she wanted to inspect. They were quiet in the car although Juliet's head was reeling with private thoughts. Whenever she was with Lucia, the contentment she felt astonished her. She never thought she could be with someone and feel so free to be herself without pretense. In her heart she believed she'd been destined to come to this place, to Lucia and Luke and this winery. All she had strived for and all that made her who she was had led her to them.

The fragments of her life had been fused together and everything finally made sense except for one unanswered question, one problem that wouldn't leave her alone. Why did she ache for Lucia body and soul and what on earth was she going to do about it?

"I'm going to check the grape clusters to see how they're coming along," she told Lucia as they stood in front of the vines. As she carried out her inspection she explained what she was looking for. "These look healthy and they're growing properly," she said as she pulled a small instrument out of her pocket.

"What's that thing?" Lucia asked.

"It's a refractometer. Did Luke ever show you how it works?"

"He never mentioned it," Lucia said. "What's it for?"

"We use it to measure the sugar content in the grapes. If we could even get enough juice to get a reading it wouldn't mean much this early in the season because the grapes are too small. I only brought it to show you how it's done." Before she'd left to pick up Lucia, Juliet thought about what she could do to extend their time in the vineyards. It was far too early to test the grapes for their sugar level. They were barely the size of a pea and squeezing any juice out of them would be next to impossible.

"I'll pretend it's a big juicy grape in late August."

"Use your imagination." Juliet simulated the steps of the test. "The sugar content in the juice tells us when the grapes are ripe enough to be picked."

Lucia stood slightly behind Juliet as she peered over her shoulder. "This winemaking process is very scientific. That's what you love about it, isn't it?"

"That's what I love the most, but I love every aspect of it." Juliet looked back at Lucia. What was it she saw in Lucia's eyes? Whatever was there was having a profound effect on her and not strictly on an emotional level. Not knowing what to do, she went on with her lesson. "Along with sugar content, we also assess the levels of malic and tartaric acids to determine if the grapes have reached maturity."

Lucia's eyes twinkled. "Now, that's more than I needed to know. I think I'll leave the minute technical details up to you and Luke."

"The point is, this is the most important part. This is where..."

"I know," Lucia interrupted. "This is where the wines are made. I remember."

"I see you've been paying attention."

"I've listened to every word you've said." Lucia stomped her shoes in the loose dirt leaving a few footprints. "There. My footprints are in the vineyard. Are you happy?"

"Immensely," Juliet said. "Now the grapes truly belong to you."

"Are you aware that you're a walking encyclopedia of wine adages?"

"Would you like to hear a few more?"

"Not at the moment," Lucia said. "Why don't you bring them out whenever you think it's apropos. That way I won't have to take them in all at once."

"I like you when you're like this."

"I like myself when I'm like this."

"Just think about it, Lucia." Juliet waved her arms around. "This is all yours."

"I have thought about it. Luke tried to tell me things but I only made a token effort to listen. I wanted us to make good wines, but I foolishly saw that happening without any help from me. Now I find I want to know all about it except for phenolic maturity and those other chemical names you mentioned."

"You don't have to know every detail."

"I agree and you don't have to turn me into you or Luke. Just tell me the basics so I can act like I have a clue as to what's going on," Lucia said. "And keep it simple. Science was never my thing."

"Have no fear. It would take years to teach you as much as I know."

They stared at each other for a good ten seconds before bursting into laughter. In the sunlight, Juliet saw specks of gold and green in Lucia's eyes. They sparkled with life for a change. Though she tried not to, Juliet let her eyes descend to Lucia's lips, those warm, velvety lips that had touched hers. The memory of those kisses forced her to grab on to one of the trellises for support. When she felt stable she started walking. "Let's move along. We have more vines to look at."

Lucia caught up to her. "Juliet?"

"Yes?" Juliet stood in place and turned around.

"You've made everything change for me. I wasn't sure I would ever--"

Their eyes met and the desire to kiss Lucia was so fierce it almost made Juliet fall. This kiss would not be like the others. Lucia wasn't drunk and they weren't in the midst of a sensitive situation. This kiss would mean something else entirely.

Lucia went to Juliet and rested her cheek on her shoulder.

Juliet wrapped her arms around Lucia briefly and then moved away. She needed to create some distance between them, distance that she hoped would diminish her arousal and help her avoid finding out where physical contact would take them.

"Let's finish checking those grapes," she told Lucia.

Chapter Twenty

THURSDAY AND FRIDAY crawled by at a snail's pace as though some genius had finally figured out a way to slow the forward progression of time. On Saturday morning, Lucia drove to the Ithaca farmers market to buy heirloom tomatoes and a bunch of fresh basil for a salad. Even though the popular market with its makeshift wooden stalls was crowded she was able to buy what she needed and get out quickly. After the market, she went to a gourmet food store for fresh mozzarella, a bottle of imported extra virgin olive oil, aged balsamic vinegar, and a loaf of crusty Italian bread.

Knowing she'd be spending the evening with Juliet made her very happy. She could hardly wait to open the door and see Juliet standing there fresh and clean with her cheeks all aglow. How could the mere prospect of seeing her bring Lucia such pleasure? Shaking her head, she listened to the foreboding behind the exhilaration and cautioned herself that it was sheer madness to indulge in this attraction. She could get hurt and more than likely, she would.

AT THREE-THIRTY ON the dot, Lucia opened the front door to find Juliet standing there excited, flushed and breathless as if she had run down the road. In her arms she held a miniature brown and white dog with beautiful markings. The dog was almost as excited as Juliet and if Lucia didn't know better, she would have believed it was smiling at her.

"I brought you something," Juliet announced. "She's a long-haired Chihuahua."

"I can see that and she's precious. You didn't tell me you were getting a dog."

"That's because I got her for you," Juliet said.

"You got her for me?" This was totally unexpected.

"I hope you're not mad at me for doing it without asking your permission."

"Mad? Are you kidding?"

"Do you want to hold her?" Juliet held the dog out so Lucia could take her.

"Please." Lucia took the dog and held her against her chest. The dog nestled in and snuggled against her, licking her face with its tiny pink tongue.

"I think she loves you."

"I think I love her." Lucia kissed the top of the dog's head. "Where did you get her? When? Come in and tell me all about it."

"Two days ago," Juliet said as she came inside. "I met a breeder at my last job. She was a regular customer and one day she brought in a couple of dogs. They were so cute I almost got one. After you said you liked this breed, I contacted her to see if she had any dogs available. I guess you can figure out the rest."

"She must have cost you a fortune," Lucia said.

"Not really. I got a special deal because she wasn't going to show this one. She has a couple of minor flaws. Nothing the untrained eye would notice."

"I don't care how flawed she is." Lucia rubbed the dog's ears and kissed her on the top of her head. "I love her coloring and her markings and her shaggy ears. To me, she's perfect in every way."

"I was hoping you'd think so."

"I do. She's absolutely adorable." Lucia kissed the tiny dog again and buried her face in her fur. "Does she have a name?"

"Her name is Angel, but you can change it if you want to."

"No, I like the name. I think I'll keep it."

"Good, because she comes when you call her Angel."

"She seems so sweet." Lucia locked eyes with Angel and scratched her under her chin. "Are you as sweet as you look my little Angel?"

"She is. I had her at home yesterday and she was so good."

"I'll have to buy some things for her," Lucia said.

"I already did that. I brought you some food and a collar and leash. I even got her a few toys, bones, and treats. She's been housebroken, but the breeder said she might have an occasional accident until she gets adjusted to her new home. She gave me information on training and feeding her and I brought that for you."

"You thought of everything." Lucia sniffed the dog's fur. "She's already a winery dog. She smells like the cellars." And she smells like Juliet, Lucia thought.

"I brought her into work with me this morning."

"Were you in the winery all day, my Angel?" Lucia asked the dog as she rubbed her ears. "Did you behave yourself?"

"She ran around a lot, but she didn't do anything bad. No accidents either. She only went when I took her outside."

"How did she get along with Sabrina?" Lucia asked.

"They were wary of each other at first and I was worried about leaving them when I went to work on Friday. But, when I got home I found them sleeping together on the sofa. I wanted to see how they got along just in case you didn't want her."

"Not want her?" Lucia reached out and touched Juliet's cheek. "Oh, no, I want her. I want her very much. I don't know why you did this for me or how I can ever thank you."

"She's made you happy. That's thanks enough."

LUCIA'S ATTENTION SHIFTED from Angel to Juliet. Her hair, curlier than usual, appeared recently washed and the smell of some kind of soap, possibly lavender, filled the space she occupied. She wore denim shorts and a plain, sleeveless white shirt that accentuated her shoulders and arms. Although Lucia found them attractive, it was Juliet's breasts straining beneath her shirt that captured her eye. Barely a week ago, she'd held their softness in her hands, touched their firm nipples.

Quickly averting her eyes, Lucia said, "You look great."

"So do you," Juliet replied. "I hope I don't smell like wine. I showered and changed, but I can't seem to get the smell of yeast and fermenting grapes out of my nose. I swear someday I'm going to permanently smell like a bottle of wine."

"I wouldn't mind that." Lucia leaned forward and sniffed Juliet. "You smell nice and sweet and if you were a wine, you'd be a fine rosé."

Juliet flashed her blue eyes. "Are you flirting with me?"

"Maybe a little. I hope you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all," Juliet said

"It's the lesbian in me. I can't help it." Lucia was treading in dangerous territory and when Juliet's cheek color deepened and she didn't respond, Lucia had the good sense to move on to something else. "Why don't you join me in the kitchen while I finish up a few things? Want something to drink?"

"I'll have some iced tea if you have any," Juliet said as she followed Lucia.

"I do. And I have beer and wine."

"I'll have some wine later."

"Do you think it's all right if I put Angel down and let her roam around?" Lucia asked when they were in the kitchen.

"Go ahead. She'll explore a little and then she'll stay close to us."

Lucia put Angel on the floor and like Juliet predicted, she scurried off to explore. "She's so cute. Look at her go." After grabbing a glass, Lucia got the iced tea from the refrigerator and poured some for Juliet. She added ice cubes and handed it to her.

Juliet sat at the table and drank the tea while Lucia lined up a pile of napkins, four place settings of silverware, and a variety of plates on the countertop.

"I'll set the table later," Lucia said. "I thought we'd eat on the porch."

"That would be nice. It's not too hot out," Juliet said.

"I made most of the dinner ahead of time. I'd rather not have a lot to do while they're here so I can relax and enjoy myself."

Juliet took a long look at Lucia. "You look good, rested."

"Luke said the same thing to me yesterday and you're both right. I feel better than I have in a long time." This past week had been her best in two years.

"I'm really happy to hear that."

"You're the reason for it."

"I was there when you were ready to deal with her death," Juliet said. "That's all."

"It's far more than that."

"I don't know what you mean."

Lucia came over and sat at the table next to Juliet. "You're the only person I've been able to talk to and you've made me feel alive again. You've given me hope."

Juliet reached for Lucia's hand. "You give me way too much credit."

"I don't think so. I thought I'd never see good in the world again. I thought the best part of me had died and I would stay that way for the rest of my life. I truly believed I would never be happy again."

"Are you saying you're happy?"

"I am right now and I'm beginning to feel that life is worth living."

"It is." Juliet squeezed Lucia's hand.

"I know I've told you this, but I hope you stay with us a long time. You've become a part of our family and I don't want you to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere," Juliet said. "I'm very content here and I need to feel like I'm part of a family. You both mean a great deal to me."

Her heart heavy, Lucia let Juliet's hand go. "Why don't we sit by the lake?"

"You go find Angel while I go out to my car and get the stuff I brought for her. I'll be right back."

"Can we can put her leash on and take her outside with us?"

"She'd love that."

Chapter Twenty-One

CAROLYN AND LISA arrived shortly after six. Lucia greeted them with Angel in her arms and relayed the story of Juliet's surprise gift. After they gushed over the dog sufficiently, Lucia put her down and let her wander around the porch sniffing everyone's legs as she wagged her feathery tail. Once they were all sitting she curled up at Lucia's feet while they caught up on everyone's latest news.

"Who'd like something to drink?" Lucia asked once she had an opening. "I've got iced tea, beer and wine."

"Yours, I hope?" Carolyn asked.

"Why drink anyone else's when you can have the best?"

"Spoken like a true winery owner," Carolyn said. "What are the choices?"

Lucia named the wines she had on hand, including a few of their new blends and the medal winners from the Atlanta competition. "Take your pick."

"I'd like to try them all," Carolyn said. "But since that wouldn't be a good idea, I'll have a glass of the Lac Bleu just because I love the name."

"Juliet came up with that name and don't worry about having to choose. You can take home a bottle of any of the wines you'd like to try. What about you, Lisa? What would you like?"

"I love a good Baco noir. I'll try that one."

"Can we take a bottle of that home?" Carolyn asked. "Please?"

"Yes--since you asked so nicely," Lucia said.

"It's nice to have a friend that owns a winery," Carolyn said.

"It's nice to have a friend who's a wine professor." Lucia then addressed Lisa. "And one who's a wine journalist. Where else can I get free opinions and advertising whenever I need it?"

Carolyn looked mischievous. "Nothing's free, you know."

"I can see that," Lucia said. "Excuse me while I go get the drinks and something for us to munch on. I have some stuffed mushrooms in the oven."

"I'll help you with that," Juliet offered.

"HEY LADIES," LUCIA said when they came back. "I was surfing on the internet yesterday and I saw a quote I liked. Juliet, you'll like this one. 'Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath, and a glass of good wine.' I've already had the good sleep and the bath, so now I'm ready for the glass of good wine made right here in my winery."

"Which wine are you drinking?" Carolyn asked.

"I'm drinking Juliet's, Simply Foxy. I love it."

"Wasn't that quote from St. Thomas Aquinas?" Juliet asked.

Lucia laughed. "It was and I should have known you would know it."

"Juliet's an expert on wine quotes and little sayings," Carolyn said. "She always had an amazing ability to memorize all sorts of facts and trivia."

"Trivia? I beg your pardon," Juliet said. "Those quotes and little sayings, as you call them, have great meaning attached to them. There's nothing trivial about it."

"I happen to like Juliet's quotes," Lucia said. Along with her other fine qualities, her personality and looks not the least of them, Lucia thought to herself.

"Here's one by Ovid, the Roman poet," Juliet said. "'When there is plenty of wine, sorrow and worry take wing.'"

"Then I shouldn't have a worry in the world," Lucia said, thinking she could just as well substitute the word vodka for the word wine in that quote. That would make it more applicable to her situation. Maybe she should switch to wine from now on. After all, she did have an endless supply on hand.

Lisa began telling them about the article she'd written on the winery. "It's due out in September and I think you'll be pleased. You're also featured on my web site this month and I'd like to do another article after you make your wines this fall."

"That would be perfect," Lucia said. "We've got ambitious plans."

"What do you think of the Lac Bleu?" Juliet asked Carolyn.

"It's crisp and well-balanced." Carolyn inhaled it and slurped in another mouthful, smacking her lips together rapidly. "I taste peaches, honeysuckle, jasmine, and vanilla. My guess is it's primarily a blend of chardonnay and riesling."

"You're correct, Professor," Juliet said.

"How did you know that?" Lucia asked.

"An educated guess. The vanilla flavor comes from aging it in oak, so that made me think of chardonnay and the honeysuckle and jasmine aromas are common to the riesling grape. Hence, I arrived at that conclusion."

"How do all those flavors get in grapes?" Lucia asked.

"They come from compounds called terpenes which occur naturally in grapes and are also found in honeysuckle and jasmine flowers."

"You amaze me to no end," Lucia said. "All of you."

"I'd like to know what you think of the Baco noir, Lisa." Juliet said.

"It has great structure and backbone. I sense the tannins but they don't overpower the flavor. I also detect hints of blackberries and maybe cloves?"

"I don't know how you can detect any of those subtle flavors and aromas," Lucia said. "I can taste citrusy flavors and I know when wine is peppery or oaky, dry or sweet, but I can't pick up anything that specific."

Carolyn tapped the tip of her nose. "Highly trained noses and lots of practice."

"There's got to be more to it than that," Lucia said.

"Highly trained tongues," Carolyn added with a glint in her eye.

"Let's not go there, Carolyn," Lisa said, casting a look.

"There is knowledge involved," Carolyn added quickly. "For example, white grapes contain aromatic essences found in fruits, flowers and herbs--terpenes and esters to be exact. Some red grapes contain phenylethanol, a substance found in roses, so wines made from them smell like roses. Most red grapes contain compounds found in cherries, berries and other red fruits. Some also contain piperdene which gives black pepper its smell and eugenol which imparts a clove aroma. There's more, but that gives you an idea."

"I'm stupefied," Lucia said.

Lisa continued where Carolyn left off. "Generally, we describe wines as being floral, fruity, caramelized, herbaceous, spicy or oaky. For example, we know gewürztraminer grapes are spicy--the word gewürztraminer means spicy wine. A winemaker can also use techniques to add flavors to wines, but Juliet's the one to ask about that. In my field, we use the flavor characteristics of wines when we suggest pairing wines with foods."

"Give me an example." Lucia said.

"Say you're making a dish of sweet scallops in a buttery cream sauce. A good wine for that would be a dry chardonnay with buttery qualities. As a rule, spicy dishes go with spicy wines and delicate dishes with delicate wines. Fruity wines go with dishes made with fruit and so on. Other times it's better to serve a wine that contrasts with a dish."

"Like what?" Lucia asked.

"Like an Asian dish made with soy sauce paired with a slightly sweet wine or a salty dish paired with an acidic wine."

"Like Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and Chianti," Lucia said.

"Yes, that's the idea exactly," Lisa said.

"And all this time I thought Luke and Juliet were coming up with those descriptions off the top of their heads so the wines would sound more appealing."

"Come on, Lucia. You must have known a little about it," Juliet said.

"I'm teasing. I did, but not as much as the three of you."

"We taste wines for a living," Carolyn said. "And we studied it."

"Intensely," Juliet said with a grimace before she veered off the topic. "I haven't told you this, Lucia, but I have a new red blend in mind. I'd like to name it Buona Fortuna."

"Good fortune." Lucia smiled. "Nice name and an even better thought."

"I chose it because I see good things ahead for you," Juliet said.

Carolyn raised her glass. "Let's all drink to that."

"I WAS HOPING I'd get a chance to talk to you," Lucia told Carolyn in the kitchen a little over two hours later. "Thanks for volunteering to help me and for asking Lisa to stay out on the porch with Juliet while we cleared the dishes and cleaned up. How did you know I wanted to talk to you?"

"I didn't. It was me that wanted to talk to you," Carolyn said. "I couldn't help but notice the way you look at Juliet and they way she looks at you. You two have gotten close, haven't you?"

"We have become close. I can talk to her."

"Is there something else going on?"

"Not exactly," Lucia said.

"Define not exactly."

"I think she's wonderful, Carolyn." Lucia rinsed a plate, put it in the dishwasher and faced Carolyn.

"I'm not going to dispute that."

"Damn, I wasn't planning on telling anyone about this." Lucia dried her hands with a paper towel and wiped her right eye. "I know she's the last person I should be attracted to but I can't help it. It's been coming on gradually ever since I met her."

"Why is she the last person you should be attracted to?"

"You mean besides the fact that she's straight and has a boyfriend?"

"Well, there is that," Carolyn said. "But she never dated much and never led us to believe she was all that interested in men. Lisa and I have questioned her sexuality even if she hasn't."

"Sometimes I think she--" Lucia shook her head. "I don't know."

"Are you saying you think she might have feelings for you?"

"I know she cares about me, she told me that. And she's warm and affectionate, but I'm not sure if she's being kind or if there's something else there. Maybe it's in the spirit of friendship and nothing more."

"The way she looks at you doesn't remind me of friendship," Carolyn said. "Maybe she doesn't know how she feels at this point."

"That would be too good to be true."

"It might be true," Carolyn said.

"It's the 'might be' part that scares me. I'm scared to death it won't turn out well and I don't know if I can cope with losing another woman I care deeply about."

Lucia picked up a plate, rinsed it and stared at it, water dripping down her arms and off the tips of her elbows. Carolyn had no answers and even if she did it wouldn't matter. She had none either and nothing was going to change the way she felt.

"What are you thinking?"

"Why her, Carolyn? Have I lost my mind?" Lucia still stared at the plate.

Carolyn took the plate out of Lucia's hands. "Why don't you listen to your heart?"

"I'm not sure I trust that troublemaker. It's impulsive and totally lacking in good sense." Lucia dried her arms, wet a soapy sponge and squeezed the excess water out. She handed it to Carolyn. "Wipe the counters off for me, will you?"

"I should do something. All I've done so far is stand here," Carolyn took the sponge and started wiping. "I should tell you I'm not big on being sensible and I don't think the way you feel about her is wrong."

"It wouldn't be if it was mutual, but it isn't. And she works for me."

"What difference does that make? It's a winery for God's sake, it's your winery," Carolyn said. "Most wineries are owned by husbands and wives and families and they all work together. This isn't the corporate world. This is your world."

Lucia grunted. "You sound as if you like the idea of us together."

"I'd like anyone or anything that put the light back into those pretty eyes of yours and if it were Juliet, I'd like it all the more. Juliet wouldn't admit it, but I think she needs someone in her life as much as you do."

"There's still the issue of her sexuality."

"That should be revealed in time."

"One way or the other." Lucia closed the dishwasher and started it. "We're done here so we'd better get back to Lisa and Juliet before they come after us."

"I want to say something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way." Carolyn squeezed the excess water out of the sponge and put it on the edge of the sink.

"Go ahead and say it." Lucia straightened her back.

"Devin's death was an awful tragedy, but you're still here. You have a lifetime ahead of you and all the makings of a very special life. Don't run away from happiness."

"I couldn't agree more," Lucia said. "And believe it or not, I want to live it."

"You're doing better. I can see that." Carolyn cleared her throat and pulled Lucia into a hug. "I hope things work out for you both."

Chapter Twenty-Two

IT WAS TEN-THIRTY when Carolyn announced she and Lisa had to leave because of something they had to do early the next morning. Juliet gave no indication that she was leaving when they did and that pleased Lucia. Although she'd enjoyed having Carolyn and Lisa over and the evening had been loads of fun, Lucia secretly longed to spend more time alone with Juliet. In fact, that longing was getting to be an everyday thing.

"Do you have to get home or can you stay a while?" Lucia asked once they were back on the porch from saying goodbye to Carolyn and Lisa.

"I'll stay if you get me a cold beer."

"I'll have one with you. Do you want a glass?"

"No. I'll drink it from the bottle."

Lucia went into the kitchen and returned with the beers, handing one to Juliet who was sitting in the chair next to the wicker sofa. Angel had curled up in the other chair and was sound asleep. Lucia flopped down on the end of the sofa next to Juliet's chair, kicked off her sandals and propped her feet up on the coffee table.

"Tonight was fun," Juliet said.

"It was. We need to do that more often."

"I had a good time being with you." Something stirred in Juliet's eyes that hadn't been there before. Her gaze, focused and intense, burned into Lucia and she never took her eyes off Lucia's as she said, "Earlier you told me you had a good week. Why was it so good?"

"I felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders."

"No need to go out drinking?" Juliet asked.

"No, I haven't felt like it."

"No sex with strange women?"

"I never choose women that are strange."

"Funny." Juliet's soft laugh sounded more like a moan. "You know what I meant."

"Sorry, couldn't resist. No, no sex with strange women."

"I hate to think of you having sex with a stranger." Juliet leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. The warmth in her face was gone, replaced by suffering.

"Why does that bother you so much?" Lucia asked.

Juliet's hand shook as she took a long swallow of beer. "I'm not sure. I think I'm jealous. It hurts me when I think of you having sex with someone else."

"Why would you be jealous or hurt?" Lucia touched Juliet's arm. She could see it hadn't been easy for Juliet to tell her that. "I'm not trying to be smart. I really want to know what you're feeling and why."

Juliet left her chair and moved next to Lucia. "I don't want anyone else to have you and it's because of how I feel about you--and because I'm attracted to you. I don't know what to do about any of it."

"Are you sure you feel that way?"

"I'm as sure as I can be." Juliet drank more beer and set her bottle on the table. "I say that and yet, I'm not sure about anything anymore."

"I asked if you were sure because I have the same feelings for you and I don't know what to do either." Lucia took Juliet's hand in hers.

"Yes, I know." Juliet stared at their joined hands.

"I've been attracted to you all along and as much as I've tried to fight it, it's a fight I'm not winning. Ever since Atlanta, I haven't been able to get you out of my head or out of my heart."

"I have the same problem," Juliet said. "All I can think about is kissing you."

Lucia lifted Juliet's hand and pressed the palm to her lips. "What about Andre?"

"I've been deceiving myself for so many years. I never felt this way about any of the men I went out with. I tried to convince myself that I hadn't met the right one or the time wasn't right, anything to avoid dealing with the truth."

"And do you know what the truth is?"

"I'm beginning to. All along it was me and I should have known it. It wasn't right for me. I went through the motions, pretending to be someone I wasn't. I worked and studied and kept busy, too busy to date, too busy to make a commitment, too busy to face who I really was."

"That doesn't work well, does it?"

Juliet shook her head. "There had to be more. I always knew it, but I wasn't prepared for what kissing you did to me. Being with you in the hotel made me realize what's been missing in my life. Every proper feeling I believed myself incapable of came to life the instant your lips touched mine. I never knew it could be like that."

"It can be so much more." Lucia kissed Juliet's fingers.

"Believe me I've imagined how it would be to make love with you."

"Then what's holding you back?"

"I don't know. I've wanted to kiss you again ever since that night. I look at your mouth and I think about how warm it was, how soft your lips were."

"You can't know how much I've wanted to kiss you." Lucia pulled Juliet into her arms, content to hold her and let their shared confessions sink in.

Juliet rested her cheek against Lucia's. "What I'm feeling is so--"

"It's all right." Lucia pressed her lips against Juliet's forehead.

Juliet drew back. "Please kiss me."

Lucia cupped Juliet's cheek and pressed her lips to Juliet's. They were soft and even though she wanted to be gentle her restraint was soon overruled by the wild desire that had been building up inside of her for the past week.

Juliet's tongue entered Lucia's mouth and she kissed her as if she were starving for the taste and feel of her. Several kisses later, she tore her mouth away gasping for breath. "I've been waiting for this all my life."

Lucia held Juliet until her breathing returned to normal. "I didn't come to see you in the cellars the last few days because I found it too hard to be near you and not kiss you or touch you like this. I knew I wouldn't be able to stand it."

"I wondered why you didn't come."

"I thought if I stayed away, this would go away."

"That hasn't worked for me," Juliet said. "The feelings just get stronger."

Lucia sighed. "I couldn't bear the thought that I'd never kiss you again. I told myself that I shouldn't kiss you and I knew if I were anywhere near you, I'd want to."

Juliet pressed Lucia's hand to her chest over her heart. "This is all so new to me. I'm surprised my heart is still beating and amazed that I can still breathe."

"I love that I do that to you." Lucia kissed her. "I'd love to do so much more."

They kissed again and again, each kiss becoming more urgent than the one before. Lucia ran her hand up between them and unbuttoned the top button of Juliet's shirt. She was dying to touch her. With her eyes on Juliet's, she undid the second button, opened the shirt and gently kissed the swell of Juliet's breasts.

Juliet's soft moans only intensified Lucia's desire. Her lips returned to Juliet's and her hand found its way to Juliet's thigh. She stroked the smooth skin while she kissed her, reaching higher and higher for the place she needed to touch. With her fingertips nestled under the hem of Juliet's shorts, she whispered, "Stay with me tonight, please. Let me make love to you."

"I--I can't, Lucia." Juliet sat up and straightened her clothing. "I want to, more than I can say, but I think I should go home." Without warning, she stood up, walked into the house, and proceeded directly to the front door.

Lucia followed her and leaned against the door frame. She held Juliet's arm hoping to keep her from running out. "Please don't go. We don't have to do anything."

Juliet fished for her keys. "I can't think when I'm near you and I need to think about who I am and what I really want. It's too soon for me and I'm--"

"You're what? Come on, Juliet, talk to me about this."

" Je suis trop nerveux!"

Lucia let go of Juliet's arm. She was leaving and there was nothing she could do or say that would change her mind. "I don't know what you said, but you're probably right. You should leave. Clearly, I don't know what I'm doing and I don't want to push you into anything you're not ready for."

"I said I was too nervous and you're right, I'm not ready."

"I'm sorry," Lucia said. "I didn't mean to pressure you."

"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I hope you can forgive me." Juliet touched Lucia's cheek as she escaped through the doorway.

IT WAS CLOSE to midnight when Juliet opened the door to her apartment. She felt horrible the whole way home, wondering how Lucia felt, wondering why she'd run out on her, and most of all, wondering why she couldn't handle what had almost taken place. She had wanted to make love with her, more than anything. Why hadn't she?

Sabrina Star was waiting for her, squeaking her cat complaints about Juliet's absence or a lack of food or water or whatever. A little rubbing of her ears and some petting soon calmed her down and converted her squeaks into trills and purrs.

"What's the matter little puss? Food bowl empty?" Juliet picked Sabrina up and carried her into the kitchen. After setting her down, she filled her food bowl and changed her water.

"How was your evening?" she asked as the cat crunched on her food.

"Meeeooow."

"Same old boring stuff? Well, my evening, since you asked, was quite memorable. An amazing opportunity came my way and I blew it, as you Americans are so fond of saying. Seems I'm not mature enough to have sex with a sexy woman who offered herself to me. Oh, Sabrina, she wanted me and I wanted her and what did I do? I ran to the safety of my home instead."

"Meeeooow."

"Why did I do that, you ask? I wish I knew. I asked myself that very question all the way home and all I could come up with was that I got nervous, too nervous to go through with it. Have you ever heard of such a thing?"

"Meeeoow."

"I'm an idiot. Glad you said it. I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to be cautious. I don't want to ignore my desires and never act on them. I don't want to be one of those people. I want to know what I want and not be afraid to go after it."

Disgusted with herself, Juliet went into the living room, fished her cell phone out of her bag and collapsed on the sofa. During dinner, she had turned her cell phone off and now she saw she had several messages, all from Andre, each one more demanding than the one before it. In the last one, he insisted she call him no matter how late it was.

"Just what I need," she said to Sabrina who jumped on the sofa beside her, her tail puffed up to three times its normal size. "I'd better call him or he'll never give up."

Andre answered on the second ring.

"It's me."

"Hi, me. Where have you been?" he asked, yawning.

"Out, Andre. I was having dinner with friends. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah I remember. How was it?"

"I'm tired, Andre. What was so important it couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

"Hey, don't be mad. I know you don't like me springing things on you, so I thought I'd better let you know I'll be in Ithaca tomorrow. I'd like to see you and I need to talk to you about something."

"About what?"

"I'd rather not discuss it on the phone," Andre said.

"Can't it wait? I have a lot to do tomorrow."

"Like what?"

"Personal things and I don't feel like company."

"I'm not company and I miss you. Besides, I won't be able to stay long, just a few hours. I have to see a couple of customers before I come to see you and I have a dinner meeting in Rochester. I'll be staying overnight up there because I have another meeting early on Monday morning and then I have to get back home."

Juliet shut her eyes and took a deep breath. He wasn't going to go away on his own and she knew she had to end their relationship as soon as possible. It was over for her the last time she saw him, the time he forced her to cancel her dinner plans with Lucia. The way she felt about Lucia had changed everything and in a moment of clarity, she realized that Andre was unfinished business and that unfinished business was one of the reasons she didn't stay with Lucia.

"Juliet? I'm waiting for an answer."

"All right. Come here and we'll talk."

"Good. I'll be there around four. Things will be fine, you'll see."

No doubt he wouldn't think so tomorrow, Juliet thought as she pushed the end button to terminate the call. She stared at the phone wanting to call Lucia, but deciding in the end that it might be better to let things settle for now. What would she say to her, that she was a coward, a fool? It was all true. She'd wanted Lucia more than she'd ever wanted anyone. More to the point, she had never really wanted anyone, not if this was the way it felt. Even now she ached all over with desire.

Fear wasn't the only reason she'd run out on Lucia. Andre wasn't either. Before she met Lucia, she'd coasted along without her sexuality being an issue. It never entered her mind that she had the capacity to feel this way about anyone let alone a woman. She'd had neither the time nor the need for matters of the heart. Due to the nature of her work, she had associated mainly with men and once in a while, she dated one of them, usually someone who traveled a lot or lived far away. It occurred to her that she'd made sure it was someone she didn't have to see that often.

Lisa and Carolyn were her closest female friends, the only lesbians she knew and she prided herself in thinking she had lesbians for friends because she was open-minded and accepting. Now she wondered if she had been drawn to them for other reasons.

She got ready for bed and crawled between the sheets, aware that her unsettled mind was not going to let her fall sleep for a while. Burying her head in the cool pillow, she tried to relax and empty her mind of troubling thoughts. Nothing about making love with Lucia seemed unnatural to her, quite the contrary, but she thought that maybe after she'd finally confessed her attraction, her jealousy, her secret desires, she was not prepared to take the next step. Maybe she was just making excuses. Or maybe she was an idiot like she'd told Sabrina. As soon as her head was clear and she was rested, she would talk to Lucia and explain. Lucia would understand.

Chapter Twenty-Three

LUCIA HAD BEEN awake for hours last night trying to figure out why Juliet had made such a hasty departure. She couldn't help but question whether Juliet's attraction for her was real or if it had arisen out of curiosity and confusion. When Juliet got home and away from the heat of the moment, Lucia speculated, she may have realized she had come close to making a terrible mistake. If so, would they go on as though nothing ever happened, as though they'd never kissed or touched each other? Could either of them be satisfied with friendship and nothing more? Lucia knew she couldn't.

Lucia's fervent invitation to spend the night and all that it implied had sent Juliet on a mad dash to get away from her. No doubt she had rushed things, had pushed too hard and as a result she had probably damaged their relationship beyond repair.

On Sunday morning, she debated whether or not to call Juliet. If she didn't call her today she would have to wait until Monday to talk to her and she wasn't sure she could stand that. Several times she picked up her cell phone, stared at it, even pushed the first few numbers once only to end up terminating the call.

As for the day ahead, she had two choices. She could stay home alone and go crazy thinking about everything or she could go to work and keep her mind busy. She chose to go to work. Natalie would be there with the children and spending the day with them was a far better option than making herself nuts waiting for Juliet to come around.

Kim and Dennis were at the crowded tasting bar when Lucia got to the barn. Natalie was in the gift shop arranging a display of brightly colored napkins and new wine glasses that had been delivered the week before. She stopped what she was doing and turned to acknowledge Lucia. "Hi there, sister-in-law."

"Hi to you, sister-in-law. I like what you're doing with that display."

"Aunt Lucia!" Carly burst on the scene out of nowhere and flung herself at Lucia's waist. She attached her left ear to Lucia's stomach. "Did you eat breakfast?"

Lucia looked down and laughed. "Yes, I did. Why?"

"Cuz I hear it."

"You do?" Coming here to be with her family had been the right choice.

"My teacher says breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"Your teacher is right." Lucia patted Carly's curly blond hair.

"I know." She was gone as fast as she had come.

"How do kids come up with those things?" Lucia asked.

Natalie shrugged. "Every day, after school, they tell me their teacher said this and their teacher said that. She's the first and last word in their little world. If she told them blue was red, they'd believe her. I'm a teacher and they don't listen to me."

"You don't count," Lucia said. "We weren't like that, were we?"

"I wasn't. I was a perfect little darling." Natalie winked.

"Naturally, and so was I. Where are Luke and Jaden?"

"Out in the vineyards, where else? Jaden is totally obsessed with those grapes. He's like a little sponge, soaking up everything his father teaches him. That's pretty much all he talks about, that and Juliet."

"Luke told me Jaden has a crush on her."

"A major one. You have no idea," Natalie said.

"How long have they been out there?"

"A couple of hours, but they should be back any minute. There's a bus group coming in for a tour and Luke is going to let Jaden help him take them around."

"Jaden will be taking over before long."

"He might, but he has to finish his education first," Natalie said.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lucia spied her niece over by the wine racks chattering a mile a minute to an older man. "I'll be back, Natalie. It looks like I need to rescue that gentleman from Carly."

"Please do. She's wearing me out today."

Lucia walked over and took Carly by the hand. "Let's leave this nice man alone so he can read about the wines, shall we?" Then she spoke to the man. "I hope she wasn't bothering you."

"Not at all, Miss. She's actually quite entertaining."

"How well I know," Lucia said. "Enjoy the winery and excuse us, will you?" When they were out of earshot she addressed her niece. "How would you like to help me?"

"Are we going to do something fun?"

"Not everything is fun, Carly. Sometimes we do things because they need to be done. That's why they call it work." Lucia ruffled Carly's hair.

Carly crossed her arms over her chest. "I know what work is, Aunt Lucia."

"You do?"

"I help Mommy and Daddy and they give me money."

"Pardon me. I should have known."

"What are we gonna do?" Carly asked. "Are we gonna make wine?"

"Good heavens, no. Aunt Lucia doesn't know how to do that. We're going to go to my office and I'm going to show you how we order the labels for the wine bottles."

"The big stickers on the bottles?"

"We call them labels, not stickers. Your daddy and I decide what we want to put on them and then somebody makes them for us."

"Like pictures and stuff?" Carly asked.

"Yes, like pictures and stuff and we write something about the wine."

"Like it tastes like cherries and peppers?" Carly wrinkled her nose.

"How did you know about that?"

"Juliet told me."

"She did, huh?" Leave it to Carly to remind her of Juliet.

"Can we go see her?"

"Not today, Carly. She's not here."

"She's pretty. When I grow up I want to be pretty like her." Carly's eyes got dreamy and her body swayed slowly from side to side.

"You're pretty already."

"You mean it?"

"Of course I mean it. Now let's tell your mother where we're going."

SOME TIME LATER, LUKE poked his tanned, handsome face through Lucia's office door. As always, his smile was infectious. "So this is where you're both hiding."

"Daddy!" Carly lunged at her father and wrapped her arms tightly around his legs. "We're not hiding, Daddy. We ordered stickers for the bottles."

"Aren't you something," he said, his hand on her back. "Now why don't you go find your mother and see if you can help her for a while? I want to talk to Aunt Lucia."

Carly scrunched up her face. "Grown-up talk?"

"That's right, now get going." He patted her on the behind to urge her along. "Don't bother anyone or get into any trouble on the way."

"I won't Daddy," she yelled as she ran off.

Luke sat down and wiped his forehead with his handkerchief. "Boy, it's hot out there today. I'm not complaining, though. It's good for the grapes."

"What's on your mind?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing. We haven't had a chance to talk much since you came back from Atlanta and you seemed different to me."

"I feel different." Lucia kicked the door shut with the toe of her shoe and filled Luke in on the things she hadn't shared with him about the trip to Atlanta. Without going into intimate details, she told him how she'd reacted to being at Paula and Kristen's and how she'd opened up to Juliet later that night.

"You needed to do that," Luke said. "You needed to talk to someone besides me."

"It wasn't that talking to you didn't help."

"I know," Luke said. "But talking to her was better."

"I guess it was because I've felt better ever since and I haven't been drunk all week." Lucia fidgeted in her chair, avoiding eye contact with her brother. She wanted to tell him about her feelings for Juliet, wanted to get it all out in the open.

"You look like you want to say something."

"I do," Lucia said. Luke didn't miss much. "And I'm afraid of how you'll react."

"Whatever it is, you can tell your big brother. You know that."

"Okay, you asked for it." Lucia took in a deep breath and blew it out. "I've grown very fond of our winemaker. In fact, I care about her a lot."

"What do you mean by a lot?" Luke asked. He sat up straighter.

"I have feelings for her, Luke. Do I have to draw you a picture?"

"Good God, Lucia. She's not even a lesbian and I thought she had a boyfriend."

"She told me she has feelings for me."

"Feelings as in she loves you kind of feelings?"

"She didn't use the word love. She said she was attracted to me."

"Christ. You could get hurt. Have you--" he rolled his hand around in a circle.

Lucia shook her head. "Almost, but we didn't go through with it." She let that fact register and then asked him what he thought of her and Juliet being together.

"What do I think? I think she's special. I'm nuts about her. My family is nuts about her and everyone here loves her. Hell, I feel like she's my other sister."

"Then you approve."

"Would it matter to either of you if I didn't?"

"I'd prefer it if you did. I'm sure she would, too." Lucia leaned back in her chair. She closed her eyes and sighed. "It feels good to get this out in the open."

"Here's the thing."

Lucia sat up, eyes wide open. "Uh, oh. Here it comes."

Luke held up the palm of his hand. "Hold on. All I was going to say was that if she finds out being with a woman isn't right for her she might end up leaving us."

"I've thought of that, Luke."

"It would kill me to see you broken-hearted."

"I don't want to be broken-hearted. It's just that I don't know what else to do. I feel the way I feel and I can't change that."

"What if she doesn't feel the same?"

"I'm scared out of my wits about that, but I have to trust her and hope for the best. I don't believe she would ever want to hurt me or you."

"I don't either," Luke said. "Not on purpose. At any rate, you'll always have my support no matter what." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "I've got to get to work. That tour bus will be here any minute. We'll talk more about this later, okay?"

As soon as Luke left, Lucia called Juliet only to get her voice mail. After trying two more times within the next hour, she started to consider that Juliet might be avoiding her calls and after a few more unsuccessful attempts she started to wonder if something could be wrong. Finished with her work, she let Luke and Natalie know she was leaving for the day. It took no more than a minute or two to get to her car.

Chapter Twenty-Four

JULIET SAT AT her kitchen table late Sunday afternoon drinking a glass of spring water while she waited for Andre to arrive. Ever since she had roused herself out of bed she'd been tempted to call Lucia, almost had a few times, but something had stopped her. Andre was coming and it would be better to make that call after he was no longer in the picture. Besides, she was almost positive Lucia would want to see her and that meant she would have to tell her he was coming or she'd have to tell her a lie. Both options struck her as equally unpleasant.

Sabrina jumped up onto the table and rubbed against Juliet's arm. She always got on the table and stretched out in front of Juliet whenever she was seated there. All attempts to break her of the habit had failed, confirming Juliet's belief that cats cannot be trained. Cats go where they want to go and do what they want to do and there's not a lot you can do to stop them.

"Do you still love me now that I'm a lesbian?" she asked Sabrina, trying the word on for size. The little cat stared at her blankly, clearly not the least bit interested in her identity or sexuality.

"That's what I like about you." Juliet reached out to pet Sabrina. "You're easy. You love me no matter what as long as I feed you, pet you, and change your litter."

Andre's arrival ended Juliet's conversation with her cat. When she opened the door to her apartment, he erupted through the threshold with his usual panache. After dropping his bag on the floor, he went to kiss her, but an instant before his lips made contact, she turned her face forcing his kiss to land near her left eye.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked. He stared as if he didn't recognize her. "Are you mad because I'm late? I couldn't help it."

"Not at all," Juliet said.

"Something's wrong. You've been acting weird lately."

"I have not and nothing's wrong," she replied. He was looking at her as if she had two heads. So far this was not going smoothly. "Do you want some coffee?" she asked in an attempt to ease the tension.

"No thanks. I'm buzzing from the three cups I had on the road. Speaking of which, I've got to make a pit stop before I do anything else."

"Go ahead, but then we have to talk."

"That's what I'm here for." Andre pointed a finger at her, wagged it around and then poked her playfully on the tip of her nose. "Don't start without me."

"Don't worry, I won't." Juliet made an effort not to sound as cross as she felt. He was being his usual, good-humored self and for some reason it was irritating the hell out of her. Determined to get this talk underway, she sat in a chair in the living room and got herself ready. She had chosen the chair over the sofa to maintain her distance. She'd need it for what she was about to tell him.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked as soon as he reappeared.

"I wanted to talk about us." Andre sat on the sofa near her chair and draped his arm over the back. He had his usual take-charge confidence about him.

"What about us?" Juliet was stalling. It was easier to let him take the lead and hear what he had to say first. It might come in handy when it was her turn.

He frowned. "Maybe this isn't a good time. You're in a bad mood."

"I am not in a bad mood. And this is as good a time as any."

Andre moved to the edge of the sofa and leaned forward as if trying to get closer to her. "We've been dating for months and our relationship isn't going where I'd like it to." He paused as if he expected a response and when he didn't get one he continued. "I'd like to talk about how we feel about each other, our future together."

"We aren't going to have a future," Juliet said. She was proud of herself for coming right out with the truth, no delaying, no sugarcoating, no softening the blow.

"Are you serious?" Shock transformed his features. His eyes roamed around as if he thought he might find some answers written on the walls. Eventually, his eyes returned to her. "I don't understand. We've had a good time, haven't we?"

"We have. It's just that I don't feel the same way you do." Juliet wasn't deriving any pleasure from hurting a decent man. He'd always been good to her and none of this was his fault.

"How do you know?" Andre's earlier confidence vanished. His shoulders slumped, his face fell, and his body seemed deflated.

"I don't want to hurt you, Andre. You're a nice guy." She reached out and placed her hand on his forearm. "This is hard for me to say and I know it has to be hard for you to hear, but I don't want to be with you."

"Jesus. Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"It has nothing to do with you," Juliet said. For a moment she worried that Andre was about to cry. "It's about me."

"That's what women always say when they break up with you," Andre said.

"This time it's true." Juliet withdrew her hand.

"You know what I think?" Andre sat up straighter, some of his confidence regained. "You're stressed with your new job and you've been working too hard. Maybe today wasn't the best day to come here and bring this up."

"It's not my job and I'm glad you're here. I needed to tell you something."

Andre stared at her, a mixture of hurt and confusion on his face. A moment later he seemed to have figured something out. "You've met someone else, haven't you?"

"Yes, Andre. There is someone else."

Andre slumped backward and let his head fall against the sofa. He rubbed his hair. "I can't believe this. We were good together. I thought we'd get married, have children, and build a life. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you. This person came into my life and made me understand that I could never be in love with you, not the way I want to be in love."

"You watch too much television," Andre said.

"That's ridiculous. I hardly watch television at all."

Andre sat up straight. "Forget I said that. All I meant was that all that romantic crap you see on television and in the movies isn't real life. It doesn't last. What counts in a relationship is a solid foundation of friendship, compatibility and trust."

"I couldn't agree more, but I want to find my soul mate, the love of my life. I want to be with someone who makes my head spin, my knees go weak, my heart race whenever I look at them."

"And you don't think you have that with me?" he asked.

"I know I don't," Juliet answered. He wasn't pushing her to reveal the identity of her love interest and she didn't want him to know it was Lucia.

"Oh, man. This is not what I had in mind when I came here, not what I had in mind at all." Andre stood up and began to pace.

"You'll find the right woman someday. It just can't be--"

Juliet was cut off by someone knocking on the door to her apartment. She went to the closed door and spoke through it. "Who is it?"

"It's me. It's Lucia."

"Merde! What are you doing here?" Juliet swallowed hard to hold in her rising panic. She'd never have thought that Lucia would show up at her apartment. What in hell was she going to do now?

"I thought about you all day and I had to see you. Can I come in?"

"How did you get through the downstairs door?" Juliet opened the door a crack and peered out. She was being rude, but she had no idea how to prevent the ugly scene that was fated to unfold. Humiliating Lucia by leaving her in the hall with the door closed was heartless, but letting her in was even more heartless.

"Someone opened the door just as I got there," Lucia explained.

Juliet let the door swing open. "I guess you might as well come in."

Lucia smiled at Juliet as she passed her and then clamped her hand over her mouth and gasped when she saw Andre. As if she didn't believe her eyes, she looked at Juliet and back at him a second and third time. All the color drained out of her face and when she spoke her voice sounded strangled. "I shouldn't have come."

"Andre and I were just talking." Juliet knew how the whole thing must have looked to Lucia and it broke her heart to see how hurt she was. If only she could run to her, take her in her arms and let her know that everything was all right.

"So I see." Lucia's eyes were glued to Andre's overnight bag.

"I'm forgetting my manners," Juliet said. "Lucia, this is Andre Du Bois. Andre, this is my boss, Lucia Parisi."

"The owner of Casa Parisi Vineyards. Pleased to meet you." Andre extended his hand. "Juliet has told me a lot about you."

Lucia grasped his hand. "Nice to meet you." Her hand was in his, her words were for him, but her eyes were on Juliet. "I have to go." She yanked her hand from Andre's and was out the door before anyone could react.

Juliet rushed into the hallway and down the stairs in pursuit of Lucia with Andre on her heels. She called out, but Lucia kept on running. She'd had a head start and Juliet was unable to catch up with her. When Juliet reached the sidewalk she saw Lucia getting into her car and pulling away. Feeling sick to her stomach, she went back inside.

"What was that about?" Andre had stalled mid-way down the stairs. "I saw how she looked at you when she came in. It was almost like--" He stared at Juliet, his mouth open. "I really am dense. It's her isn't it? She's the one you're in love with."

"Yes." Whether she liked it or not, he knew the whole truth now. She fought back tears, her head splitting and her stomach in knots. "I refuse to stand out here on the stairs and discuss this with you."

Andre climbed the stairs and went back inside. Juliet followed him.

"You're a lesbian?" Andre asked the instant the door was shut.

"If feeling the way I do for her makes me one then I am one." This wasn't a good time to comment on his powers of deduction so Juliet didn't. She bore him no ill will and when he left her apartment, he would be out of her life forever.

"You knew this and you never told me? What kind of person are you?" Andre was beginning to show some anger. He stood in front of her, a bit too close for comfort.

"I wasn't trying to deceive you." Juliet stepped away from him. "I didn't know until recently. That's why I wanted to talk to you."

"This is great, just great." He shook his head. "My girlfriend's a lesbian."

"I'm not your girlfriend, Andre." Juliet went to the chair she'd occupied earlier. "I know you're shocked, but I don't know what else to say." Juliet's own anger was near the surface and not far behind it were tears of despair over Lucia's unexpected visit. She had to get rid of him and soon. She was close to breaking down and she didn't feel like doing that in front of him.

Andre stayed where he was. "Have you had sex with her?"

"Andre! How dare you ask me that?"

"You're right, you're right. I'm sorry."

Finally the tears came. "It's not about sex, it's about love. It's about who I am. You can only lie to yourself for so long and then you have to face facts. I know now that I can only love a woman. I can't explain it any better than that."

"What if it doesn't work out with her?"

"Maybe it won't, but I have to own who I am."

"So, you're saying it's over between us?"

"That would be the general idea." Juliet's patience was wearing thin. What could she add that would make him accept what she was saying? He'd come to see her hoping for a different outcome and he was having a hard time switching gears.

"I don't know," Andre said. A lengthy silence ensued. "I pride myself in being a liberal guy. I have nothing against homosexuals, but--"

"You never thought I was one," Juliet finished for him.

"That's about the size of it."

Juliet had heard enough, had said enough. She brushed the tears from her face, got herself composed and went over to him. If he wasn't going to leave on his own she'd have to throw him out. She opened the door and said, "I wish you the best, Andre, I really do. Have a safe trip."

He reached to take her in his arms. "Come on Juliet. You're confused and if we talk this out I know you'll be able to see that. A lot of women believe they have feelings for another woman at one time or another, but they find out it was something else."

"How the hell would you know how women feel? Or how I feel?" Juliet extricated herself from his clutches and picked up his bag which she tossed into the hall. "It's time for you to leave. Goodbye and good luck."

"You could be making a huge mistake." He moved to the door.

"It's a mistake I'm willing to make and it's none of your concern. Now, go!" She put her hand on his lower back and gave him a shove in the right direction.

"Okay, but I--"

Juliet never heard another word. She shut the door and leaned against it, waiting until she heard his footsteps fade, until he was gone. Her sense of relief greatly outweighed the regret she felt at having to hurt him. He was out of her life and she was free to let go of the tight grip she'd had on her emotions. Turning so that her back was touching the door, she slid to the floor and sobbed with her face buried in her hands.

What a shitty day, she thought, as her tears subsided. Her head was pounding and her thoughts were no longer on Andre. They were all about Lucia and how she must have felt when she saw Andre there. She could only have come to one conclusion and as erroneous as it was, it must have hurt her terribly.

Sabrina jumped up and settled on Juliet's mid-section as if to comfort her.

"I'm glad you're here, little puss." Juliet rubbed her cat's head. "I've made a mess of things, but I'm going to go to her and I'm going to make it all better. I'm going to explain and I know it will be all right." She got to her feet and ran into the bathroom to wash her face.

Chapter Twenty-Five

WHEN JULIET GOT to Lucia's cottage, she was frustrated to find that Lucia's car was not in the driveway. No lights were on inside the cottage, either. She called Lucia's land line and let the phone ring ten or eleven times before giving up. Lucia's cell phone was on voicemail, forcing her to leave a message asking Lucia to call her even though she knew it was futile. As a last resort, she called the one person who might have an idea where Lucia had gone.

Luke answered on the third ring.

"I'm at Lucia's house, but she's not here," Juliet said. "I need to talk to her as soon as possible. It's important."

"Didn't she go to see you earlier?"

"She did, but--"

"If it makes any difference she told me about you and her."

"It does," Juliet said. She had to fight to hold back the tears from coming again. She went on to give him a brief overview of the incident at her apartment. "I was ending my relationship with him, but she didn't know that and she misunderstood."

"That doesn't sound like it went well."

"Not at all. I have to find her, Luke. Do you know where she is?"

"I haven't seen or heard from her since she went to see you," Luke said.

"Do you think she's at that bar she goes to?"

"Maybe. I can't think of anywhere else she's go. I'm not sure I remember the name, though--a man's name. Johnnie's? No, that's not it. George, Georgie's? Yeah, that's it, it's Georgie's."

"Do you know where it is?"

"I do. I had to pick her up there once when she had car trouble." Luke gave Juliet the directions.

"Thanks, Luke. I'm sure I can find it." Juliet didn't have a pen or paper and no GPS in her car, but she knew Ithaca well enough to grasp what he'd told her.

"No problem. Listen, about you and Lucia."

"Are you upset about it?"

"Do you want the truth?"

"Of course." Juliet dreaded what he might say.

"You're a part of our family and you're a nice person."

"Why do I get the feeling you're leading up to something bad?"

"It's not bad," Luke said. "I just don't want to see her get hurt."

"That's the last thing I'd ever want to do."

"If you really mean that, then I'm happy about the two of you."

"I swear to you, Luke, I mean it."

"You'd better. My sister's important to me and if you broke her heart, I'd have to take you out to the vineyards and whip your butt."

Juliet laughed. "I'm sure that won't be necessary."

"I hope not, because I'd do it."

After bringing the conversation to a close Juliet got on the road. Traffic was light and it didn't take her long to get into Ithaca. She weaved through the streets until she reached the outskirts of town and then she turned left onto the unmarked road Luke had told her to be on the lookout for. Less than a mile later she spotted the faded wooden sign for the bar.

Georgie's was set back from the road, partially concealed in overgrown shrubbery. Juliet parked her car and entered the dimly lit bar. Once her eyes adjusted, she started searching for Lucia, trying to be inconspicuous as she scanned the women on the dance floor and in the adjoining rooms. Just like the time in Atlanta, she was about to call it a night when she caught a glimpse of Lucia in a dark corner of the bar.

As she got closer, she saw that Lucia was whispering in the ear of a young woman. She had her hand on the woman's shoulder and their gestures and expressions spoke of more than a friendly exchange. Before Juliet got to her, Lucia threw a few bills onto the bar, took the girl by the hand, and dragged her away.

Juliet pursued, intercepting the two of them on the dance floor. A flash of pain sliced through Lucia's features when she recognized Juliet, replaced immediately by a mask of tightly contained anger. Stupidly, Juliet had imagined Lucia falling into her arms with a sigh of relief and she realized that wasn't going to be the case.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Lucia demanded.

"I went to your house and you weren't there." Juliet told herself to get on with it. "I called Luke and he said you might be here. I wanted to talk to you."

"Don't bother." Lucia's face barely moved as she spoke. "You don't need to explain a thing to me. Not a fucking thing."

"But I do. It's not--"

"I said forget it," Lucia interrupted. "You shouldn't have come here."

The woman whose hand Lucia held said, "Do you want me to get lost?"

"No," Lucia said. "You're not going anywhere. She is."

"Lucia, please listen to me," Juliet pleaded.

"Save your breath. I'm not interested." Lucia dismissed Juliet with her hand. "Don't you have anything better to do than to follow me around in lesbian bars? I've got a date and you should go home to your boyfriend." Lucia spun around and hurried off, dragging the young woman behind her.

Juliet froze as she watched them flee to the other side of the dance floor. She had anticipated the anger and resistance, but not Lucia's icy dismissal. Jealous and wounded, she kept her eyes on them, wanting to look away but incapable of doing so. Her heart hurt as she watched Lucia take the young woman in her arms.

Willing her legs to carry her out of there didn't work. She couldn't move, couldn't end her misery and couldn't take her eyes away as Lucia kissed the woman's neck and whispered in her ear. She wanted to be the one Lucia was holding so close, the one who got to hear her whispered words, the one who felt those soft lips brush her ear.

The woman nodded and Lucia guided her off the dance floor. Juliet soon lost sight of the two of them and realized she was standing alone in a crowd of dancers. She guessed what would happen next. Lucia would pay for a room and she would have sex with that woman. They would kiss and touch each other and be in each other's arms. And as for her, she ought to go home where she belonged.

Lucia had wanted to hurt her and she had succeeded, but Juliet didn't blame her for lashing out at her the way she did. Lucia believed Juliet had deceived her, had lied about her feelings, and had chosen Andre over her. She'd been terribly hurt and she needed to close down and act tough as though it didn't matter.

There was nothing left to do but leave. Lucia wasn't interested in working things out, not tonight, and Juliet had no alternative but to wait until she was ready, if she ever was. Upset and emotionally drained, Juliet left the bar and went home.

Chapter Twenty-Six

ON MONDAY MORNING, Juliet went to work, but never ventured outside of the wine cellars. Seeing Lucia on a Monday was unlikely and based on what had transpired the night before, Juliet certainly didn't expect to see her on this particular one. That was all right with her because she was in no mood to face Lucia, Luke, or any other member of the Parisi family. The last few days had driven home the value of the age-old wisdom of never mixing business with pleasure. Too bad she hadn't heeded its warning.

It seemed the Parisi family didn't care to come near her, either, because she spent the entire day in seclusion until late in the afternoon when Luke showed up in the lab. He sat on one of the stools at the counter and studied her.

"What have you been up to?" he asked.

"I've been making wine."

Luke smiled. "Wow, no kidding."

Juliet softened a bit. No use taking her troubles out on him. "I finished bottling the Parisi Cabernet."

"Did it turn out as good as we thought it would?"

"Better, I think. It's dry and complex but it also has nice balance. The amount of oak flavoring is perfect in my opinion." She poured a small amount in a plastic cup and gave it to him. "Taste it and let me know what you think."

Luke drank it. "You're right. It's really good."

"While you're here, why don't you taste the Grower's Select Reserve Chardonnay? I think it's ready to be bottled." She poured Luke a sample. "See if you agree."

"That's ready. I don't think it should be any dryer."

"Then I'll bottle it this week."

"Lucia will be pleased with those. Speaking of Lucia, did you find her?"

"Yes, but she wouldn't talk to me. She left with some woman."

"I'm surprised," Luke said. "Not about the woman, but that she wouldn't talk to you. She said she had feelings for you and she wouldn't say that if she didn't mean it."

"She was only acting that way because I hurt her."

"Probably," Luke said. "We both know she lashes out when she's cornered."

"Do we ever," Juliet replied. "I don't know what to do, Luke."

"You'll figure something out. Ever since Lucia lost Devin, I've been praying for her to get better. You did say she told you about the accident, right?"

Juliet nodded. "She didn't tell me what happened afterward. All I know is what her friends in Atlanta told me."

"For the first month she hardly ate and hardly spoke. It was like someone reached in and shut off her main switch. Her friends helped as much as they could, but she didn't come around. Finally, I took a leave of absence, helped her sell the house and brought her to live with us. I thought she needed to get away from that house and her memories."

"Did it help?" Juliet asked.

"Not at first. For a while Natalie and I were afraid she might take her own life, but then she seemed to slowly get a little better. I don't know how she found the strength to buy the winery and get it started, but she did. I guess she needed to keep busy, keep her mind off things."

"And did that help?"

"Sure, it helped some, but the spark had gone out of her. She'd lost something."

"Her joie de vie?" Juliet offered.

"That's it. She lost her joy of living."

"She'll find it again, Luke. I know she will."

"I hope you're right," he said. "I worry about her. She's tough and she talks a good game, but I know she's been lonely and she's afraid to open her heart again."

"I don't want to break her heart," Juliet said. "I don't."

"I'm sorry. I know you can't promise me you won't."

"No, but I can promise you I have no intention of hurting her."

"That's good enough for me," Luke said.

Juliet realized she would have to risk being the brunt of Lucia's anger again because she couldn't go home without talking to her. She wouldn't be able to rest until she knew where they stood. "I have to talk to her. Have you seen her today?"

"No, she hasn't been in. You might find her at home, but you might be better off waiting until she comes to you."

"I'm not sure I can do that." Juliet was seized by powerful emotions and much to her dismay she began crying in front of Luke.

"Hey, things will be all right." Luke got up and put his arm around her.

"No they won't. She was not happy when I showed up at the bar."

Luke took his arm away and stepped back. "Why don't you dry your eyes and go out to the vineyards with me? That's why I came over. I need your opinion on the progress of the gewürztraminer grapes."

Juliet grabbed a couple of tissues, dried her eyes and pulled herself together. "That's funny, because this morning I was thinking about making our first gewürztraminer. I love those grapes. They're bold and they have such massive fruitiness. The flavors positively rage around in the wine glass."

"Now you sound more like you."

Juliet managed to return his gentle smile. "I can't wait until the harvest. That's when I get to transform simple grape juice into the stuff

of romance and legend."

"When you put it that way, I can't wait either."

"I hope I'm still working here."

"Why wouldn't you be?" Luke appeared confused, but only momentarily. "Oh, you mean because of you and my sister?"

"I might not have this job much longer."

"I can't see that happening," Luke said. He stared at her intently. "I can't and I won't let that happen if I have anything at all to say about it."

An unspoken acceptance passed between them. They both knew Juliet had no choice but to let the issue of her future play itself out. It all depended on how things worked out between her and Lucia. There was nothing Luke could say, nothing he could do.

Juliet moved into her winemaker mode. At least it would serve to take her mind off her distress. "Less expensive wines always sell, but having more expensive ones like the rieslings and gewürztraminers will bring in a greater margin of profit."

"That's the idea." Luke seemed willing to let the issue of his sister drop.

"I'll prove it to you." Juliet grabbed a calculator from the countertop and punched in a series of numbers. "One acre of gewürztraminer vines yields about three tons of grapes. One ton will give us--" Her fingers flew over the keys again. "Roughly seven hundred bottles of wine. That means three tons will give us twenty-one hundred bottles of wine." She continued to use the calculator as she talked. "Multiply that by the number of acres and that gives us sixteen thousand, eight hundred bottles of wine or--one thousand four hundred cases give or take a few."

Luke laughed. "Good thing we've got plenty of storage space."

"You'll need it," Juliet said. "I'll meet in front of the barn in fifteen minutes. While we're out there we can discuss some ideas I've had."

"You never seem to run out of them. Meet me at the truck."

THEY SPENT A few hours in the vineyards before Luke announced he was calling it a day and drove them back. Juliet stopped in the barn with him while he closed up on the off-chance that Lucia might be in her office only to discover she wasn't. Her need to see Lucia had become paramount and she had to do something about it or she would go insane.

Luke checked his watch. "I've got to leave. If I'm late for dinner Natalie will kill me. What are you going to do?"

"I did enough work for one day, but I can't go home without going to the cottage to see if she's there," Juliet said. "If she is I'll try to talk to her."

"What then?" "I'll keep calling until I reach her." "Good luck and don't let her scare you. She's all bark and no bite." "Thanks, Luke. Thanks for listening." Luke gave her a quick hug. "Anytime. See you tomorrow."

Chapter Twenty-Seven

WITH A FREE-FLOATING anxiety gaining momentum inside of her, she went to her car. Would she find Lucia and if she did, would Lucia reject her again? Appreciating the reasons for Lucia's anger didn't make it any easier to endure and yet Juliet knew she had to risk it for both their sakes. She could not tolerate another evening at home without resolving the ill feelings between them.

She drove to the cottage, pleased to see Lucia's car in the driveway. Pulling hers in behind it, she got out and knocked on the front door several times. There was no answer. After one last spirited series of knocks she walked around the house hoping to find Lucia inside the porch or on the deck. As she neared the back, she heard Angel's high-pitched barking emanating from the porch. Cupping her hands around her eyes, she tried to peer in through the screen.

"I can see you out there." Lucia's voice drifted out.

"It's me, Juliet." Juliet jiggled the handle only to find the door locked.

"I can see it's you." Lucia's muted laugh sounded weary. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you. Please let me in."

Lucia didn't respond at first and then she said, "Okay, why not?" She unlocked the door and let it swing open. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to know if you were all right after--after Sunday." Juliet remained in the doorway. It was clear Lucia was not all right. Her eyes were dark with fatigue, her face strained. She stood in a defensive position, her arms wrapped around her chest.

"I don't know how I am," she replied.

"You look tired," Juliet said, taking a step toward her. Angel was jumping on her leg so she bent down to pick her up.

"What else is new? Why don't you just tell me why you're here?"

"I had to see you."

"Why?"

"Will you please stop it?" Juliet put Angel down and let her run off. "Pretending you don't know and don't care has no effect on me anymore. We're both hurting."

Lucia didn't protest as she stared at the floor.

"And we both know the truth."

Lucia lifted her eyes, her silence an affirmation.

"I know you're as scared as I am and I'm willing to say the words if you can't. I'm crazy about you and I can't go on like this. We want each other so much it's tearing us apart. You know it and I know it."

"I thought I knew it, but--" Lucia sighed. "All right, I give up. Why don't you come in and sit down?"

Juliet followed her in and sat next to her on the sofa. "I care about you and I couldn't bear to go home without explaining what happened on Sunday."

"What about Andre?" Lucia stared at her hands, tightly clasped in her lap.

"I know what you must have thought. You thought I went back to him. You thought I didn't want you, but you were wrong, so wrong."

Lucia turned away. "Was I?"

Juliet reached out and took Lucia's hand. "Please don't turn away."

Lucia turned, all resistance gone from her eyes. "Thank God you're here."

Juliet eliminated the space that separated them and wrapped her arms around Lucia. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come to you. I almost called you a hundred times and now I'm sorry I didn't."

"Don't be. I should have called you," Lucia said. "Besides, you did come to me and I sent you away."

"I remember." Juliet let Lucia go and they both sat up. There would be ample time for touching, but they needed to talk. "I never thought you'd show up at my apartment while Andre was there. Then you were so mad at me when I went looking for you at the bar I was sure you wouldn't talk to me."

"I acted like a bitch. I was ice cold toward you when all I really wanted to do was to grab you and hold on to you forever."

"Why didn't you? I wanted you to so much."

"I didn't want you to see how hurt I was," Lucia said quietly.

"I knew you were hurt. Why do you think I went looking for you?"

"I wasn't sure. When I saw Andre I assumed you wanted to be with him and not me. When I saw his overnight bag, I thought he was going to be staying with you. That was too much for me to bear. I knew I could never compete with him."

"Andre doesn't matter to me."

"What was he doing there?"

"I didn't ask him to come. He called me Saturday night and insisted I see him. He said he wanted to talk and I let him come because I wanted to end it with him."

Lucia's sad eyes bore into Juliet's. "And did you end it?"

"Of course I did." Juliet leaned in and kissed Lucia. "I should have ended it the last time he was here, but I wasn't sure of my feelings. I wasn't sure about yours. This whole issue of my sexuality has been confusing for me and I've had a lot to process. I guess I haven't handled things as well as I could have."

"I haven't either," Lucia said. "I should have trusted you." She secured Juliet's hand in hers. "You're here and that's all that matters to me."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. I don't want him. I want you."

"But you ran away on Saturday night." Lucia stared at their joined hands.

Juliet lifted Lucia's chin so their eyes met. "I wanted you so much. I'd never felt that way about anyone. We were going to make love and I felt so overwhelmed with emotions I didn't know how to handle the situation. I'm ashamed when I think about that night. I'm a grown woman and I let my nerves get the best of me. Can you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive."

"I'm not nervous anymore," Juliet said. "I've decided to follow my heart."

"And where does your heart lead you?"

"It leads me to you." Juliet closed her eyes and sighed. "My heart was broken when you left the bar with that woman. I knew you'd be kissing and touching her and it nearly drove me insane. I was so jealous I hardly slept that night."

"I didn't go through with it. I did take her to a motel, but all I thought about was you. A few minutes after we got there I pretended I didn't feel well. She must have thought I was out of my mind, but I didn't care."

"I want to be the one you want," Juliet whispered.

"You are. I don't want to be with anyone else."

"I'm tired of fighting this."

"Then don't. We both need to stop fighting."

Juliet's eyes were fixed on Lucia's lips as Lucia lifted her hand and kissed it. The memory of those lips touching hers made her more aroused than ever. "There's only one thing left for us to do."

Apparently, Lucia had no need to ask what that was. She kissed Juliet passionately and when she finally broke away she asked, "This time will you stay with me?"

Juliet's lips brushed against Lucia's. "I'm not going anywhere."

Lucia stood, pulling Juliet up with her. "Let's go inside."

IN THE BEDROOM, Lucia led Juliet to the bed. Even though she ached with desire she felt no need to rush. They had surrendered after many days fraught with longing and Lucia understood that they had crossed a threshold. From this point on their relationship would be altered and that was a reality she welcomed rather than feared. "Did you ever think that you and I would be here like this?"

"Not until the last day or two." Juliet brought Lucia's hand to her mouth.

"I want this to be good for you."

"How could it not be good?" Juliet kissed Lucia's fingers.

"It's been so long for me," Lucia whispered. "I'm a little nervous."

"But you've had other women."

"I never cared about them." Lucia cupped Juliet's cheek. "I care about you and that makes this an entirely different experience." Lucia lost herself in Juliet's bottomless blue eyes as she tenderly brushed Juliet's hair from her forehead. "It means so much to me to feel this way again. You have no idea."

"Yes, I do because it means everything to me."

Lucia touched Juliet's lips. "I love your mouth."

Juliet kissed those fingers and brought Lucia's hand to her chest. "Feel what your words do to me. My heart's pounding and I can't stop shaking."

"I'll hold on to you." Lucia took Juliet in her arms and kissed her. Suddenly her need for Juliet was urgent and everything around them receded into nothingness. Lucia's hands found their way underneath Juliet's shirt and covered her breasts.

Juliet broke the kiss, gasping as Lucia's fingers found her nipples. "That's so good." She stepped out of Lucia's embrace, kicked her sandals off and removed her shirt. Her eyes never strayed from Lucia's as she quickly freed herself of the rest of her clothing.

"You're so beautiful." Lucia openly surveyed Juliet's naked body. Juliet's pale skin glowed in the soft light and her cheeks were delicately flushed. Her exposed nipples, tight with desire made Lucia feel like she couldn't breathe.

"You're still dressed." Juliet tugged Lucia's shirt out of her jeans.

"I can fix that." In seconds, Lucia was completely naked.

"I love the way you look," Juliet told her. "You take my breath away."

Lucia brought Juliet's naked body to hers. "Being here with you, it's--"

"Don't talk. Just make love to me," Juliet whispered.

Lucia climbed onto the bed and brought Juliet down beside her. She faced her and kissed her over and over again. Her consciousness was consumed by the sensations of Juliet beneath her hands and her mouth. She let her hand glide over a smooth shoulder, down the length of a velvety arm to the indentation of Juliet's waist, over the curve of a hip to the firm muscles of her thigh.

Reaching between them, Lucia brought her hand to Juliet's breasts. She rubbed the nipples with her thumb as she cupped the supple weight of them in her hand. Juliet's soft moans and searching hips seemed to beg for Lucia's touch, seemed to tell her where she was needed. Lucia caressed a path down Juliet's abdomen until her fingertips brushed the soft hair between Juliet's legs. Holding her hand still, she gazed into Juliet's eyes.

"Please," Juliet begged. "Please touch me."

Lucia let her fingers slide into the warm wetness, her own arousal intensified by the sharp gasp her touch drew from Juliet. For a while, Lucia's touching was an exploration, a way to get to know the folds and lines of Juliet, the private places she only shared with someone special, but soon she found it impossible to hold back.

Juliet's series of moans sounded like they originated from the deepest recesses of her soul. Passion transformed her face, her eyes became unfocused. "Oh, God, don't stop."

Lucia watched Juliet, wanting to see her face when she came, wanting to experience every expression, every sound, every movement of her body. When she sensed Juliet was close, she entered her, filled her, and took her over the edge.

"How are you?" Lucia held Juliet close, lightly rubbing her back. She prayed Juliet wouldn't end up thinking of this as a mistake, something she thought she wanted only to find out she regretted it. The initial stages of a relationship were often filled with doubts and uncertainties and Lucia was experiencing many of her own.

"I'm wonderful." Juliet propped herself up on her elbow and leaned down to plant a few tender kisses on Lucia's lips. "And you're a wonderful lover."

"I'm glad I didn't let you down."

"I never thought you would." Juliet paused as if deep in thought. "I wanted you to touch me like that when we were in your bed in Atlanta."

"It took all the strength I had not to."

"You don't have to hold back anymore. You can touch me all you want."

"If I remember correctly, you didn't even need me to touch you."

Juliet blushed. "Wasn't that something?"

"Something magical," Lucia whispered before kissing her.

When the kiss ended, Juliet stared into Lucia's eyes for a very long time. "When I'm with you I know who I am and where I belong in this world. I've never felt that way and I want to thank you for giving me such a precious gift and for opening my heart. The part of my life I've paid no attention to makes sense to me for the first time."

"I want you to make love to me," Lucia said softly.

"I'm new at this. I don't want to disappoint you."

"Anything you do will be wonderful, believe me. Don't think, just--"

Juliet's kiss ended any need for words.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

THE NEXT MORNING Lucia opened her eyes, taking care not to awaken her lover, the woman who lay peacefully asleep in her arms. They had made love well into the early hours of the morning and if it had been up to Lucia, they would have stayed in bed for the rest of the day doing the same. Right now they were at that insatiable stage and if not for bodily needs and functions they'd have no basis for getting out of bed. It had been years since she'd known sexual craving like this and she wanted to indulge in it for as long as possible. Every touch was pure bliss, every kiss a sweet, sweet torture, and every word their secret language of love.

Juliet stirred and stretched. "Good morning. What time is it?"

"It's ten of eight." Lucia kissed Juliet's hair. "How do you feel?"

"Superb. Never felt better." Juliet snuggled closer and kissed Lucia's neck.

"Are you okay about this, about what we've done?" Lucia asked, needing to know the answer, but knowing she would die if Juliet said she wasn't.

"Okay doesn't do it justice. I'm in seventh heaven." Juliet propped herself up on her elbow and kissed Lucia. "Nothing has ever felt so right. How are you?"

"I'd say I was pretty much the same." Lucia kissed her again. "This will change your life forever, you know. It's going to change everything."

"I know." Juliet smiled. "My life needs to change."

"What about your family?"

"I've been on my own too long to be worried about them. Maybe someday I'll tell them if it seems like I should, maybe I won't."

"I told my parents a long time ago."

"How did they take it?"

"They were shocked at first, but supportive, and by the time I met Devin they were used to the idea. They still lived here then and they were great about making Devin feel like she was a welcomed addition to our family."

"They must have been upset when she died."

"They were. They had moved away by then and when Luke brought me home from Atlanta they came and stayed for a couple of months just to be by my side."

"Do you think they would like me?"

"I'm sure they would," Lucia answered with conviction, touched by the question and all that was behind it. She stroked Juliet's cheek.

"When did you know you were a lesbian?"

"I knew for sure in high school," Lucia said. "But I suspected it earlier."

Juliet's face darkened. "I'm shocked I didn't discover this about myself before now. I've wasted a lot of time and I pushed everything aside for my career. I suppose I thought I'd get around to having a real life someday."

"Now you know. Don't waste any more time on regrets."

"Only because of you," Juliet told her.

"If it wasn't me, it would have been someone."

"I don't know about that. I've never felt this way about anyone."

"Then I'm honored. I was attracted to you all along, but I pushed you away because I didn't want to care about you. I needed to hold on to my pain and as long as I continued to suffer Devin was still with me, even if it wasn't in a healthy way. It was like the pain had replaced her in my life and I'd become addicted to it."

Juliet stroked Lucia's cheek. "You don't have to ever let her go. There will be room in your life for her and for someone else in the future."

"I hope so." Lucia wondered why Juliet had chosen the words she'd used. Was she telling Lucia that she would have someone in her future but it wouldn't be her? Was she simply trying on her new sexuality for size, exploring what it had to offer her, or did this thing between them mean more to her?

Lucia yearned to tell Juliet that she wanted her to be that someone, wanted to say that she didn't want anyone else, but it was too soon. She had no way to determine whether Juliet's feelings extended beyond their sexual attraction.

"There will be. You'll see." Juliet stretched along the length of Lucia's body. "Now that I'm an official lesbian, I feel an obligation to be totally honest."

"Uh, oh." Lucia tried to act playful.

"I only wanted to tell you you're a very sexy woman and I can't get enough of you."

"You're embracing the new you. That's a good thing." Lucia delighted in the slick wetness that coated her thigh as she wedged it between Juliet's legs.

"I'm embracing this." Juliet moaned as Lucia moved. "And you're wrong about this being a good thing. It's way better than good."

"So you've enjoyed being a lesbian so far?"

"God, have I ever. Oh, God, don't stop."

"Tell me what you liked the most?" Lucia grasped Juliet's buttocks and pushed her thigh in tighter. The increased contact seemed to drive Juliet crazy.

"When you--made love to me--with your mouth."

"Mmm, I'm glad to hear that because that's what I liked the most." Lucia shifted and began to kiss a path down Juliet's body. "You're awfully sweet and delicious."

"Are you going to--do that--to me now?"

Lucia paused and glanced up. "I was thinking I would."

"Like you said before, don't think, just--"

TWO HOURS LATER, Juliet lay on her side with Lucia's front curled against her back. Lucia's arm was draped over her ribs. "If I could, I would stay right here with you forever," Juliet said, grabbing Lucia's hand and pulling her closer.

"So would I and you have no idea how much I hate to leave this bed and your arms. But we have to go to work today. I haven't been there in two days and any minute now Luke will be calling or worse yet, coming to check on me."

"Do we have to?"

"Uh, huh." Lucia freed her hand and tugged at Juliet until she turned around.

Juliet groaned and buried her face in her pillow. "I suppose you're right. I have a lot of work to do and I don't want to get into any hot water with my boss."

"But you do want to get into hot water with your boss because I insist that you take a shower with me." Lucia climbed out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. "I'll turn the water on. Don't be long."

Juliet jumped out of bed and followed Lucia. "I'm right behind you, but you have to promise to feed me when we're done. I'm starving."

"I promise," Lucia said as soon as Juliet entered the bathroom. While Juliet used the toilet, Lucia tested the water temperature and stepped into the shower stall.

"Is this some sort of lesbian ritual?" Juliet asked when she joined Lucia under the steaming spray. She wrapped her arms around Lucia, amazed by the feel and warmth of their wet skin.

"It's a rite of passage so to speak." Lucia kissed Juliet on the neck, her mouth even warmer than her skin. "Otherwise you're not really official."

"I see. Are you going to behave in here?"

"Are you asking me to?" Lucia lathered her hands with soap and rubbed them over Juliet's breasts. Smiling, she brought her nipples to hard peaks.

"Are you serious? What do you think?" Juliet took Lucia's hands and held them still on her breasts. Her nipples were acutely sensitive and so tight they hurt.

Lucia's playful expression evolved into a serious one. "I love touching you, looking at you." She traced Juliet's lips with one finger. "You're a sexy woman and your mouth is so damn kissable." As she leaned in to kiss her, Lucia's hand slid the length of Juliet's slippery abdomen and ended up between her legs.

"And you..." Juliet allowed Lucia to back her up against the tiles. "You make me so crazy and out of control." She reached for Lucia's breasts.

"Don't you like being out of control once in a while?" Bracing Juliet's body with her own, Lucia separated the soft outer lips and slid into Juliet's wetness.

"I do--with you." Juliet moaned as Lucia stroked her. "I'm going to fall."

"No you won't. I won't let you."

With her hands in Lucia's wet hair and their foreheads pressed together, Juliet hung on and stayed on her feet. What Lucia was doing to her had transported her to a place of pure ecstasy. The pressure kept building and building and she kept climbing higher and higher until she reached the summit and tumbled over the other side. Clinging to Lucia, she heard her own screams echoing off the shower walls.

Lucia held Juliet until her orgasm subsided. "See. I didn't let you fall."

"I knew you wouldn't." Juliet knew what kind of falling Lucia meant, but she had definitely fallen. She had fallen hard. She had fallen in love for the first time in her life and because of it, nothing would ever be the same.

"Are you okay?"

Juliet returned from her thoughts and slid her hand between Lucia's legs. "I'm fine and now you're all mine."

A WHILE LATER, completely drenched and spent, they washed and stepped out of the shower. "I'm surprised we didn't both drown," Lucia said as she threw Juliet a towel. "I have a confession to make. I never really liked making love in the shower."

"Then why did you suggest it?"

"I guess I felt I owed it to you as part of your initiation process."

"In that case, I ought to thank you, but to be honest I found it a bit difficult. I'd rather make love in a nice dry bed than have a near drowning experience under a steady stream of water." Juliet dried her body and rubbed her hair vigorously with the towel.

"I lied about the initiation thing," Lucia said, staring at her. "I just couldn't keep my hands off of you. I'm finding that hard to do right now."

Juliet laughed. "Ah, the truth comes out at last."

After they were dressed, they went into the kitchen. Fulfilling her promise to feed Juliet, Lucia grabbed some eggs and a package of bacon from the refrigerator and began to make them some breakfast.

"Make coffee before you do anything else," Juliet said.

"I'm on it. Is bacon, scrambled eggs and toast okay with you?"

"That sounds delicious."

Lucia put the coffee pot on and fed Angel and when everything was prepared, they carried their food and mugs of coffee out onto the deck, taking Angel with them. Without talking they consumed every morsel and set the empty dishes aside.

"This is the best breakfast I've ever eaten," Juliet said, finishing the last of her coffee and setting her cup next to the dishes. "I've never been more relaxed. In fact, I feel so light it's like I'm floating on air."

"You've made me very happy." Lucia put her coffee mug on the deck, took Juliet's hand in hers and brought it to her mouth for a kiss.

"I'm happy too." Juliet kissed Lucia on the mouth.

"We have to tell Luke that we worked things out," Lucia said after the kiss.

"We'll tell him as soon as we see him."

"How much do you want him to know?" Lucia asked.

Juliet seemed to consider the question before she answered it. "Everything, when we both feel it's right, but for now why don't we tell him we're on good terms until we have a chance to get used to this, to us."

"Whatever you're comfortable with is okay with me." Lucia still wanted Juliet with an intensity she couldn't believe. They'd made love all evening, most of the night and half the morning and she still wasn't satisfied. The passion, the yearning, the feelings she thought she'd never have again had been returned to her in all their glory.

"What are you thinking about?" Juliet asked.

"I wish we could stay here all day and make love."

"You still want to make love?"

"I never wanted to stop."

"We'll have lots of time together, Lucia."

Lucia clamped her eyes shut against the stab of pain she felt as her world came to a standstill. She couldn't breathe. "Don't say that. You can never say that."

"I'm sorry." Juliet hugged Lucia's shoulders. "You of all people know we can never count on tomorrow, but I'm not afraid of what the future has in store. Every day we have will be a precious gift, far less than I desire and far more than I deserve."

Lucia opened her eyes and met Juliet's. In their blue depths she glimpsed a promise of hope, a promise of a new tomorrow. "You are such a sweetheart. You make me want to get up each morning and see what the day has to offer."

"That's what I want us to do."

"That's all I've ever wanted." Lucia asked a very important question. "Will you have dinner with me tonight?"

"I'd love to as long as I can go home first and check on Sabrina Star. She's probably beside herself because I didn't come home last night."

"And starving, the poor little thing. She'll think you've abandoned her."

"I'm sure she will. She's so neglected," Juliet said.

"I could pick you up around six-thirty, and we could go to the Moosewood, as long as you don't mind eating there again."

"I don't mind. I loved it," Juliet said.

"This time we won't be fighting when I take you home." Lucia saw questions on Juliet's face. "You've got something on your mind."

"I wanted to ask you to spend the night with me, but I didn't know if I should. Is it too soon or too much?"

"I could do that." Lucia was pleased Juliet wanted to be with her again and that she had taken the initiative. "That was hard for you to ask, wasn't it?"

"I was afraid you'd say no."

"I'm saying yes. I want to be with you," Lucia said. "I should warn you, though. I'm going to be busy for the next few days and we won't see much of each other. Luke and I have to meet with our printer tomorrow during the day and in the evening we have an appointment in Ithaca with our lawyer."

"That's not a problem. I've got plenty of work to catch up on."

"That's not all. Thursday I'm going to Rochester in the morning on business and that same evening I have a dinner meeting with a potential distributor. I don't know if I'll stay overnight or come back. It depends on how long the meeting lasts."

"I don't care as long as you come back to me."

"As long as you're here waiting for me, I'll be back," Lucia said. "The wine festival is this weekend, so that means I have to cover the winery on Friday while Luke gets the booth set up. On Friday evening, I promised I'd watch the kids while Luke and Natalie go to the Friday evening banquet for the winery owners."

"What about later on Friday night?" Juliet asked. "I could come up."

"The kids are staying overnight. They love to stay at the cottage and besides, by the time Luke and Natalie could get here to pick them up it would be very late. I'm sorry it's going to be such a bad week."

"We'll manage. I'll help you at the winery on Friday and we'll be working together on Saturday at the festival. That will have to do although it will be hard to keep my hands to myself."

"You'll be too busy to think about sex," Lucia said.

"Don't be so sure. I'll want you pretty bad by then."

"I'll be in the same condition if that's any consolation," Lucia said. "I thought about having you stay overnight on Friday, but how would we explain our relationship to the kids? They don't miss a thing. You could come for the evening, but I think that would be even harder on both of us because I'd never want to let you go home."

"And I'd never want to go home," Juliet said. "No, you're right. We're not ready to tell the kids and I'm way past the point where I can hide my feelings for you."

"So am I." Juliet frowned. "Three days without you isn't going to be easy." "We'll make up for it later." Lucia got to her feet and held out her

hand to help Juliet up. "Come on. We'd better get going." "You're the boss," Juliet said.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

EARLY SATURDAY MORNING, Juliet drove up to the winery to meet the Parisis. Luke was driving them to the wine festival and they'd planned to leave as soon as she got there. Lucia had spent Tuesday night at Juliet's apartment and during the busy week that ensued, they saw little of each other, only a few minutes here and there. Juliet had plenty to do, but keeping busy did little to ease her need to be with Lucia. Missing someone was new for Juliet and it surprised her how much she missed Lucia.

She saw Luke and Lucia waiting for her outside as she parked her car. She waved to them, got out and walked toward them.

"It's a great day, isn't it?" Luke remarked in the way of a greeting.

"Couldn't be better," Juliet said. Her eyes were on Lucia.

"It's getting better by the minute." Lucia winked at her.

"I have to agree with that." Naturally, Luke was referring to the weather, but Juliet knew Lucia's statement had another meaning. Her implicit message, the look of desire in her eyes, the smile lighting her face ignited a spark in Juliet that burned so hot she almost couldn't stand it. It was going to be a long day.

Luke smiled broadly. "You two look disgustingly happy. It's contagious."

"I hope you like the idea of us being together," Juliet said. Lucia had told Luke about them being lovers yesterday morning, with Juliet's permission.

"Like it? I love it," Luke replied. "Not that you should care what I think."

Lucia addressed that statement. "If you disapproved, it might not keep us apart, but I know I speak for Juliet when I say we wouldn't want that."

"I'll tell you what I really think, straight from the heart." Luke put one arm around Lucia and the other around Juliet. He turned to Lucia. "Seeing you happy again means a lot to me." He turned to Juliet. "And I love you like a sister." He cleared his throat and let them go. "That's enough of that. We need to get you to the festival so you'll have time to prepare for the assault of the wine-lovers. They're a wild crowd, although God knows our livelihood depends upon them."

Luke climbed into his truck and Lucia and Juliet slid in next to him. Lucia put her hand on Juliet's and whispered in her ear. "All I've thought about all week was how I'd be spending today with you."

Juliet longed to tell Lucia how much she had missed her, but she only nodded. She glanced at Lucia's profile as they drove down the driveway. If only she had a window into Lucia's mind and could read her thoughts. Had Lucia missed her?

Being away from Lucia had caused doubts to infiltrate Juliet's peace of mind. How long would this sexual affair last? What did it really mean to Lucia? The attraction was strong and thus far Lucia had not given her cause to distrust her sincerity. What she did question was how long Lucia would want her. She was in love with Lucia and there was nothing she could do to change that, but she knew she had no right to assume that Lucia was in love with her or ever would be.

Juliet wasn't a stranger without a name or someone without a personal connection to Lucia. Those facts, although indisputable, offered her very little in the way of assurances. How could she be sure she wasn't another lover Lucia took on to ease her suffering? How could she be sure Lucia's desire would last another week or even another day?

Luke drove west toward Seneca Lake through the town of Interlaken where he lived with his family. The flat terrain between the lakes was dotted with dairy farms and herds of beef cattle. Through the half-opened window, Juliet saw endless fields of golden wheat swaying at the whim of the shifting winds. The sweet air was suffused with the summer fragrances of fertile soil, newly mown grasses and sun-warmed evergreens. Closing her eyes for a moment, she was only conscious of how content she felt simply being alive and sitting next to Lucia.

When Luke reached the road on the eastern side of Seneca Lake he drove south to the town of Watkins Glen which anchored the southern end of the lake. The Watkins Glen race track was situated a few miles outside of the town and once he reached it he proceeded through the main gates and around to the vendor's entrance at the back of the tent area.

"Here we are ladies," Luke said, pulling up to the gate. "Call me when you're ready to leave and I'll pick you up in this very same spot."

"Thanks for the ride," Juliet said as she opened the door and got out of the truck. Lucia slid across the seat and hopped out behind her.

"Don't work too hard," Luke yelled before he drove away.

"This gets bigger every year," Lucia said, walking through the gate. Every summer in July, the race track hosted one of the largest wine festivals on the east coast. For one weekend, the smells of wine and food replaced the smell of burning rubber, wine spills replaced oil spills, and the sounds of live bands replaced the sound of roaring engines. Wineries from all over New York State gathered to sell their products while vendors sold gourmet foods, locally made products, arts and crafts.

Lucia and Juliet went to the Casa Parisi booth where they found Dennis preparing for the arrival of the festival goers. He waved when he saw them.

"You look ready for action," Lucia said. "How long have you been here?"

Dennis checked his watch. "A couple of hours. I woke up early and I remembered how busy it was last year, so I thought I'd better get over here."

"What can we do?" Juliet asked.

"There's nothing for you to do. Just let me show you where everything is and what we have in the booth and we'll be ready to roll."

"Is Kim here yet?" Lucia asked.

"She's been here for an hour. She went to get some iced tea. We're already sweating and it's not even that hot out yet. I put some bottles of water on ice for all of us, but she said she needed the caffeine."

Kim returned a few minutes later and by the time the gates and ticket booths opened at nine, they were braced for action. For the first few hours, people arrived at the booth in a steady, albeit manageable, stream. But as noon approached the tent was bursting at the seams with a raucous throng of thirsty wine aficionados.

Around one-thirty, Dennis and Kim suggested Lucia and Juliet take a lunch break. Kim didn't feel hungry and Dennis said his girlfriend was bringing him something later in the afternoon.

Before they went to the food tents, Lucia pulled Juliet to the rear of the booth. It was noisy so she had to put her mouth right up to Juliet's ear. "I can't believe this is the first time we've had a chance to talk. I missed you so much I could hardly stand it. I hate that we have to be here all day."

"It can't be helped. I'm happy to be with you no matter where or when." Juliet was standing so close to Lucia she could feel the sexual tension between them.

Lucia must have felt the same. "I'm dying to touch you. I hope you can stay with me tonight because that's what I want."

Juliet rubbed Lucia's upper arm. "That makes two of us." Even if this affair did turn out to be short-lived, Juliet had made up her mind that she would take advantage of every minute Lucia gave her, even if it meant her heart would be broken in the end.

"I can't wait to taste you," Lucia whispered.

Juliet felt her knees grow weak. "Don't say that here."

"When we're alone, I'm going to say whatever I want."

"And do whatever you want?"

"And do whatever I want. I should have asked you to spend the night when we talked on the phone yesterday. I guess I'm out of practice when it comes to romance."

"I could have asked you," Juliet said. "I'm not used to being in a relationship at all, certainly not one that's equal. I'll get better at it as we go along."

"I'm not complaining," Lucia said.

"I have a confession to make. I brought an overnight bag just in case."

"You did, huh?" Lucia's smile was like a caress.

"Was it too presumptuous of me?"

"No. Presume all you want."

"I wish I could kiss you senseless right now," Juliet said. "And you know where I want my hands. The thought of it--" Lucia laughed softly. "We've both got it bad, haven't we?"

"YOU TWO LOOK cozy," Carolyn yelled into the booth. Streams of sweat trickled freely down her forehead and the sides of her face. Mother Nature had provided record heat and cloudless skies for the occasion. By mid-afternoon the sun's maximum potency had been trapped inside the poorly ventilated tents, the mass of people crammed inside only adding to the problem.

Lucia came to the front of the booth to greet her friends. "It's about time you two found your way over to see us. Are you enjoying the festival?"

"Of course we are," Carolyn answered. "We're gluttons for punishment. Did you notice it's always the hottest weekend of the summer?"

"And it's dusty and outrageously crowded?" Lisa added.

"And teeming with wine-guzzling fools," Juliet threw in.

"In other words, we're having a hell of a good time," Lucia said.

Carolyn laughed. "That sums it up."

"Are you guys drunk?" Lucia teased. "You're both flushed."

"We're not drunk, we're overheated," Lisa said.

"I can't drink wine in this heat," Carolyn said. "It gives me a headache. Speaking of getting drunk, did you hear that the state troopers are using a breathalyzer to check all the drivers before they leave the exit gates?"

"I heard about that," Lucia said. "I guess you can't blame them."

While Lucia and Carolyn talked, Juliet went over to one of the coolers and grabbed a couple of bottles of water which she gave to Carolyn and Lisa. "Here, this will help."

"You are an angel," Lisa said as she reached for one and downed half of it.

Lucia rested her hand on Juliet's shoulder. "She is an angel, isn't she? She's one of two angels I have in my life."

"Is something going on here?" Carolyn asked. "What did you mean she's one of the two angels in your life?"

"Do you mind if I tell them, Juliet?" Lucia asked.

Juliet shook her head. Some of her earlier doubts had started to dissolve now that she and Lucia were together. First Lucia had told Luke about them and now she wanted to tell her best friends. She wouldn't do that if this was only a fling, would she?

"We can't talk in here," Lucia yelled. "We can't hear each other. We were about to get some lunch. Why don't you go with us?"

"That'd be great," Carolyn said. "We were going to eat soon anyway."

"Let's go and I'll tell you all about my angels."

Chapter Thirty

AT SIX-THIRTY THAT evening, Luke let Lucia and Juliet off in front of the barn. Once they said goodbye to him, Juliet drove Lucia to her cottage. The moment they got inside they made a bee line straight for the refrigerator. Angel jumped up on their legs, her tail whipping back and forth, but they didn't stop to pet her. They didn't even bother to close the door to the refrigerator as they stood gulping two full bottles of spring water each.

"I can't get enough to drink," Juliet said. "What a hellishly hot day."

"Me either," Lucia said between swallows. "I must have lost a gallon of fluid. And I've never seen that many people in one place, have you?"

"Not around here."

Angel jumped up in the air to lick Lucia's hand. That got her attention and she bent to pick up the little dog. "Did you miss us, my little angel? We missed you."

"She must be hungry. We should feed her," Juliet said.

"I'll do that." Lucia closed the refrigerator door. "Why don't you sit down?"

Juliet took Lucia's advice and sat in one of the kitchen chairs. "My feet hurt."

"I can't believe Luke has to go back there tonight with more wine. Who would have thought we'd sell that much, let alone need more for tomorrow?"

"That's good, though," Juliet said.

"It's good for business, but I swear I couldn't have poured another glass of wine if someone had paid me a million dollars."

"A million dollars? Are you sure about that?"

"All right, maybe for a million dollars, but not a penny less," Lucia said. "It feels good to be in air-conditioning. I'm tired of being hot and sticky."

"And dirty. I smell like I crushed grapes with my feet."

Lucia changed the water in Angel's bowl. "You should be used to that."

"I should be, but I'm not." Juliet stood up and went to Lucia.

Lucia encircled Juliet in her arms. She sniffed her neck and nibbled the skin. "You smell good to me. Your skin is warm and you taste salty."

"I wouldn't recommend you get any closer until I've had a shower."

"We both need one," Lucia said, stepping away.

"I am so happy we don't have to work that booth tomorrow."

"That's why Luke and I split the weekend," Lucia said. "Nobody wants to do both days. We'll have to cover the winery tomorrow but that'll be a piece of cake after what we went through today."

"Dennis and Kim will be in, won't they?"

Lucia nodded. "And we don't open until noon, so we can sleep in."

"You were planning on sleeping?" Juliet asked. "I wasn't."

"Aren't you exhausted?"

"Yes, but I don't care. Some needs take precedence over others."

"We don't have to sleep a lot, although a few hours would be nice."

"That can be arranged," Juliet said.

"Come over here. You're too far away." Lucia gestured with her index finger for Juliet to come to her. With her back against the counter, she held Juliet to her. "Are you hungry at all? I could make us something to eat."

"Only for you." Juliet kissed Lucia's neck. "I'm not the only salty one."

"Why don't we take those showers and get in bed?"

"Showers? As in two separate ones?"

"Or we could go in together and just get washed," Lucia said.

"What? No sex in the shower?"

"Let's skip that. I don't have the strength."

"Can I at least soap your body?" Juliet asked.

"Mmm, I can't say no to that."

"Then let's quit talking about it and go do it."

HALF AN HOUR later, Juliet rested on the bed wearing only a pair of panties. She had her hands tucked behind her head and her ankles crossed while she waited for Lucia to finish drying her hair. When Lucia came into the bedroom, she stood at the side of the bed and gazed at Juliet, openly savoring every enticing aspect of her. She was exposed, there only for her, and the way she looked at her made her bones melt. "You are a truly beautiful sight."

"You think so?"

"I most certainly do." Lucia scanned the length of Juliet's body. "There's one thing, though. You aren't going to need that underwear."

Juliet wiggled out of her panties and tossed them on the floor. "There, all gone."

"Much better."

Juliet shimmied over a bit and patted the empty space beside her. "Come and sit by me for a minute."

Lucia sat on the edge of the bed. "Where did Angel run off to?"

"I don't know. She left and I closed the door for privacy."

"She's probably downstairs. She loves to sleep on the sofa." Lucia stretched her arm across Juliet's waist. "That day you came for your interview I was by the window waiting for you. You got out of your car and brushed the dust off your suit and I said to myself, she's the prettiest thing I've ever seen."

"I thought you were cute," Juliet said. "And I liked you."

"And later you didn't like me so much." Lucia frowned.

"True, but we got past that."

"And now we're lovers," Lucia whispered, moving her hand to Juliet's chest.

"Yes, we're lovers. Who would have thought?"

Lucia's hand rose and fell with each breath Juliet took. She loved the way Juliet's eyes changed when she touched her, how her breathing deepened, and how her nipples hardened as she brushed against them. She loved the sharp gasps and soft moans Juliet could not contain. "I want you so much."

"Why don't you lie down next to me?" Juliet asked.

"I will. Just let me look at you a little longer." What an astonishing thing it was to be filled with breathless anticipation, aching to have another's skin against your own.

"When you look at me that way, it excites me as much as your touch."

"I'm grateful you came into my life," Lucia said softly. Juliet had become her future, the prospect of a new life, the promise of hope. Lucia wanted to invest all she had into that life, her only fear being that she would lose this and Juliet would decide it wasn't the life she wanted after all.

"Why are you sad? Are you upset about something?"

"How could I be upset when I'm here with you?" Lucia stretched out next to Juliet and held her. "I've been dying to touch you all day. I've waited to be with you for days and I don't think I can wait any longer. I don't want to eat or sleep. I only want to make love with you."

Juliet brought Lucia's hand between her legs. "Feel how wet you've made me with your eyes and your words."

"Oh God, yes." Lucia groaned as she touched her.

Juliet's hips reached for more. "That feels so good. I'm so sensitive there."

"Juliet. I feel so much," Lucia murmured through a haze of desire.

With her lips lightly touching Lucia's, Juliet whispered, "Show me how you feel. Show me with your mouth."

MUCH LATER, JULIET rested with her head on Lucia's lower abdomen, her arm outstretched and her hand nestled between Lucia's breasts. She waited while they both caught their breath and then she moved up on the bed into Lucia's arms. "I love the way you taste, the way you feel. And I love it when I make you go crazy like that. To share that with you is--"

"Incredible, amazing," Lucia said. "You're amazing."

"I wanted to make you feel as good as you made me feel."

"You did." Lucia pulled Juliet closer. Making love with Juliet was pleasure beyond description, but lying next to her, holding her, breathing with her went way beyond that. It was home, it was comfort, it was peace and everything else worth having.

"I love being with you," Juliet said. "I love making love to you. I want to rest for a while and then I want us to do that to each other again. Just the thought of it makes me want you all over again."

"We've got all night, you know."

"I know. It's just that I've never known anything like this."

Lucia adjusted her position so she could see Juliet's eyes and observe her reaction to what she was going to say next. "I have known it, you know that, but I want you to know that doesn't diminish how much being with you has meant to me."

"Thank you." Juliet touched Lucia's cheek.

"I never thought I could feel this again." Lucia heard her voice quiver.

Juliet silenced her with a kiss. When it ended, she said, "And I want you to know how good you feel and how much I want to be with you." As Juliet said that she brought her hand to Lucia's breast.

Lucia moaned as Juliet pinched her nipple. "I have a feeling we're not going to get those few hours of sleep, are we?"

"No, it doesn't seem like we are."

Chapter Thirty-One

A FEW HOURS AFTER sunrise, Lucia lay stretched out on one side of the bed, the top sheet draped across her naked body. For as long as she could she wanted to relish the state of total contentment she was in. Even with their sexual fervor in full force, they'd fallen asleep for four or five hours. For Lucia, that wouldn't usually be sufficient, yet she felt surprisingly rested and invigorated. Remembering she wasn't alone, she turned over to reach for Juliet only to find she wasn't in the bed.

She'd look for Juliet soon, but for a few more minutes she wanted to lie there alone with her thoughts. As they often did, early in the morning or late at night, her thoughts turned to Devin. The passion they'd shared was similar to what she had with Juliet. Not long after they met she knew without a doubt that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Devin. They'd promised to grow old together, never once suspecting that their years as a couple would be cut short.

Recently, something inside of Lucia had been altered. Usually, her heart hurt when she thought about her former partner, but as of late, she was able to think of her without suffering more than an intangible sense of sadness. The knife had been removed from her heart and she could go back in time without being afraid she would bleed to death.

Her spirits soared as she jumped out of bed. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she put on an old pair of jeans and a long-sleeved cotton shirt and slipped into a pair of flip-flops. Then she went to find Juliet.

The kitchen was empty and neither Juliet nor Angel were anywhere in sight. The other downstairs rooms were empty as well. Lucia went out on the screened porch and spotted Juliet sitting on the edge of the dock with Angel curled up by her side. She tried to approach them quietly, but when she opened the screened door Angel started barking and ran to her.

Juliet turned, her smile warm. Her eyes called Lucia to her.

"Stay there," Lucia told her as she picked up Angel and went to her. Handing the little dog to Juliet, she sat behind her and wrapped her arms and legs around her. Would she ever be able to get close enough? Sighing, she leaned on Juliet's back and rubbed her cheek on the soft, well-worn sweatshirt Juliet had put on.

"Good morning." Juliet took Lucia's hands in hers and pulled her arms more tightly around her chest. She rubbed her cheek against Lucia's arm.

"Good morning to you."

"I borrowed your sweatshirt. I hope you don't mind."

"My sweatshirt's never had it so good."

"Beautiful morning, isn't it? It's nice and cool."

"I suppose it won't stay that way for long. Are you chilly?" Lucia asked.

"I grew up in Canada. We invented chilly," Juliet said. "Besides, now that you're here I'm all warmed up, even hot in certain places."

"That kind of talk could get you into trouble." Lucia snuggled in closer. "I could stay here all day and do nothing but hold you."

"If only we could."

"Maybe we can't today, but there's always tomorrow. The festival will be over, the winery will be closed and we can have the whole day to ourselves."

"It's a date," Juliet said.

Lucia kissed the back of Juliet's neck. "I love it here."

"Days like this remind me of how good it is to be alive." Juliet stiffened and turned slightly in Lucia's arms. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound insensitive. I'll never forget that you lost her."

"No, you're right. It is good to be alive." Lucia kissed Juliet's hair. "You smell good. Did you take a shower?" She felt Juliet nod that she had.

"I tried to be quiet."

"I didn't even hear you."

"Did you hear Angel barking when I went downstairs?" Juliet asked.

"No. I must have been asleep." Lucia was quiet as she focused on the rippling water, the clear, cerulean sky, and the sloping mountains rising from the shoreline on the other side of the lake. Gathering her courage, she verbalized what was on her mind. "Juliet. Do you think there's a heaven?"

"I'm in heaven when I'm here with you."

"I mean after we die."

"I don't know," Juliet answered. "I like to think there is."

"I think there is. I want there to be," Lucia said. "Do you think love dies?"

"You mean when we lose someone?"

"Yeah." Lucia tightened her arms around Juliet.

"I believe love never dies. It lives on in our memories and in our hearts."

"That's what I think. The people we've loved aren't really gone as long as we don't forget them." Lucia felt her body tensing as though she was bracing for the rejection she feared might follow what she was about to ask next. "I believe we can love again, don't you?"

Juliet released her hold on Lucia's arms and twisted around so she was almost sitting sideways. "What is it you're trying to say?"

Lucia stared at the lake. "Nothing, it's nothing."

"You haven't changed your mind about us, have you? Please tell me if you have."

Lucia met Juliet's eyes. "You have no idea do you?"

"I was afraid this might not last, but I can't bear to lose you this soon."

"Lose me?" Lucia took a deep breath to settle her nerves before she continued. She'd been so focused on her own doubts, her own irrational fears she had failed to realize that Juliet might be experiencing uncertainties of her own. "You're not going to lose me, not if I have any say in the matter."

"Thank God," Juliet whispered, her eyes shimmering with tears.

"I love you. That's what I wanted to tell you." Lucia held Juliet's face and kissed her gently. Afterward, she said, "I hope it's not too soon to say the words. I almost said them last night, but I was afraid I might scare you away."

"I'm not scared of loving you," Juliet said. "I've never been in love and now I find I can't breathe without you, can't bear to be without you for very long."

"Are you saying you love me?"

"Yes, I am. I love you with all my heart."

"You're sure?"

Juliet touched Lucia's cheek. "I'm absolutely sure. And I'm just as sure about who I am. That's never going to change for me."

"Or me," Lucia said. "I want us to love each other for as long as we can. And I'd be happy if we got to grow old and grumpy together."

Juliet let out a laugh. "Be careful what you wish for. You have no idea what I'm like when I get grumpy."

"I can't imagine you being grumpy at all."

"You don't know everything about me, yet."

"But I want to. I want to know all about you." Lucia meant what she'd said. They would know each other as well as two people could. They'd share moments of happiness, times of disappointment and all the wonderful and not so wonderful things two people were bound to experience in an intimate relationship. And through it all, they would be together.

"You might get to know too much about me."

"I'm willing to take that chance," Lucia said. "But as for now, I only know one thing and it's all I need to know."

"What is that?"

"I've been very lucky when it comes to love. I've loved two women in my life and they've both loved me back."

"I also know one thing. Tu es ma premiere passion, mon seul amour. Tu es l'amour de ma vie." Juliet planted a kiss on Lucia's cheek.

"What did you say? I only made out the words passion, love and life."

"I said you are my first love, my only love, the love of my life."

Lucia drew in a shaky breath and blew it out. She could hardly take in how much her life had changed in such a short span of time. "You're my future. This winery is my new life, my new home, and I want you to be a part of it. I've got my family, my friends and now I've got you, the best winemaker around and the second love of my life."

Juliet rested her head on Lucia's shoulder.

"You don't mind, do you?"

"Mind what?" Juliet sat up straight again.

"Being the second love of my life?"

"I don't need to be the only one you've ever loved. I know that Devin will always be with you, in your heart and your mind, and that's fine with me."

"She actually is here. I scattered her ashes in the lake a year after I bought this house. Sometimes I sit out here and talk to her. The other day I told her about us."

Juliet said nothing. She just let Lucia talk.

"I told her I'd always love her, but I had to move on. I also told her that I knew she wouldn't want me to live the rest of my days without love."

"You were ready to let her go." Juliet leaned into Lucia's chest.

"Yes, thanks to you." Lucia kissed Juliet's hair. "I can't bring her back. She's gone and I have to accept that I'm still here."

"I'm so glad you're here."

"Me, too. I knew I had to somehow go on living, but now that I have you I actually want to go on living." Lucia loosened her hold on Juliet and got to her feet. "Let's go in. I'll put on a pot of coffee and while it brews I'll go up and take a shower."

Juliet handed Angel to Lucia and then got up. "I'll make breakfast while you shower if you don't mind me taking over your kitchen."

"Mi casa es su casa," Lucia said. "Sorry, I don't know how to say it in French."

"Ma maison est ta maison."

"It sounds good in any language, doesn't it?" Lucia started toward the cottage. "After work we'll drive to Ithaca and I'll take you to dinner. Do you like Thai food?"

"I love it." Juliet caught up with her.

"After dinner, there's something I need to do and I'd like you to come with me."

"What do you need to do?"

"I need to stop at the bar and say goodbye to Georgie, she's the owner, and Bernie, the bartender. I probably won't be going there anymore and I don't want them to wonder what became of me. They were always kind, even when I wasn't kind to them, and even though I can't imagine why, I believe they really cared about me."

"Then we'll go. I'd like to meet them," Juliet said.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

"I'd love to, but I have to check on Sabrina."

"We'll stop at your apartment and bring Sabrina back here with us if you want to so she won't be alone all night."

"You don't mind?" Juliet opened the door to the screened porch.

Lucia followed her in and shut the door behind them. "Why should I? She's sweet and I like her." She put her ear near Angel's mouth, pretending Angel was talking to her. Then she nodded and set the dog on the floor. "Angel says she wants her here. She likes her and they'll keep each other company."

"Okay." Juliet laughed as she put her arms around Lucia. "But I don't want you to feel that we have to rush things."

"I know and we won't, but when you do stay here, she should be with us. There's no reason she has to be left alone."

"I love you." Juliet sealed her words with a kiss.

"I love you--very much," Lucia said. "Tomorrow we'll have breakfast by the lake and spend the whole day together. Maybe we'll take a ride in the afternoon if it's a nice day. That is if we have any energy left after an entire night of love-making." The next kiss tendered a hint of what was to come.

Juliet breathlessly broke away. "How can I resist such a tantalizing invitation?"

"You can't, my dear winemaker, so say yes."

"Yes, my dear boss. Yes to everything."

The End

About the Author

Janet Albert was born and raised in Johnson City, New York. After working in Philadelphia for many years, first as a trauma and critical care nurse and then later as a school nurse for the school district of Philadelphia, she abandoned her life in the big city and now divides her time between the mountains of Northeastern Pennsylvania and the North Coast of Ohio. She lives with her partner of many years and their obligatory allotment of two cats. In addition to spending enormous amounts of time in front of her laptop writing, she enjoys reading, traveling, spending time in nature and delighting her family and friends with her cooking skills.

Because she's an avid fan of lesbian romance fiction, she hopes to make a contribution by writing the kinds of stories she enjoys reading. She also hopes to add to the increasing number of books that celebrate and affirm the lives of lesbians. After all, it seems as if there are never enough of them (books, that is, not lesbians). On second thought--maybe both.

Other Janet Albert titles published by Yellow Rose Books

Twenty-four Days

Sometimes life forces us into uncharted territory, as Dr. Miranda Ross discovers when circumstances lead her to seek employment on a cruise line specializing in all lesbian cruises. Although she's single and surrounded by women, she has little time to socialize and even less inclination. She's made promises to herself, promises she intends to keep.

And keep them she does, until she meets the ship's head fitness trainer, Jamie Jeffries. Jamie has the kind of body and good looks most people only dream of and unfortunately, a reputation to match. The buzz on the ship is that she can have anyone she wants and often does.

Miranda fights valiantly to avoid Jamie and the unwanted attraction that seems to have a will of its own. She's strong and determined...but a lot can happen in twenty-four days.

A Table For Two

Ridley Kelsen is convinced she's not destined to find love. The singles scene is old and dating is terribly disappointing. Her closest friend tells her that love comes along when you least expect it and the very last thing Ridley expects when she accepts an invitation to join her friends for dinner, is that she will meet the most beautiful creature she's ever laid eyes on. Will this turn out to be yet another disappointment?

Dana De Marco moves to Philadelphia after her dreams for the future are unexpectedly shattered. Her new restaurant, Café De Marco is located on the city's famous South Street and has opened to rave reviews. It seems as if the pieces of her life are finally falling into place, except for one minor detail...she's unable to let go of the past.

The last thing Dana expects is that she's about to meet someone who will force her to face her demons head on. Does she have the courage to open her heart and love again?

Other Yellow Rose Titles You Might Enjoy:

Callie's Dilemma

by Vicki Stevenson

While attending a convention for authors and fans of chick lit, Callie Delaney, closeted reigning queen of mainstream romance, meets Dale Kirby, irresistible fitness instructor for the health club at the hotel that's hosting the event. She also inadvertently walks into the prelude to a murder. Although Callie is unaware of the significance of what she sees, the killer is not, and he embarks on a relentless campaign to eliminate the only witness to his crime.

With help from Dale's LGBT family, the women set out to uncover the motivation for the threats against Callie, identify her mysterious stalker, and ultimately prove him guilty of murder. As a fragile relationship develops between Dale and Callie, they are forced to confront escalating danger and the irresolvable conflict between the demands of Callie's public image and the reality of her personal desire.

Trust Our Tomorrows

by Carrie Carr

Set six years after To Hold Forever, life at the Rocking W ranchis constantly changing. Lex and Amanda are back, strugglingthrough a drought and trying to raise their two daughters as bestthey can. Lorrie is now ten and gets into as much trouble as Lex everdid, while six-year old Melanie is content to follow along. Whensomeone from the past returns and asks for an unusual favor, willLex and Amanda agree? And, considering the favor, can they refuse?

Like Lovers Do

by Lori L. Lake

Kennie McClain is a security guard who, unbeknownst to her tenants, owns the Allen Arms where she works. In her off hours, she rehabs apartments and nurses a broken heart. She's still recovering from the loss of her partner three years earlier and has moved from upstate New York to Portland to escape bad memories.

Lily Gordon is a nationally-acclaimed painter who lives in the penthouse. She's beautiful, accomplished, and haunted after her lover ditches her.

Sparks fly in a big way when Kennie and Lily finally connect . . . but then in one shattering moment, Lily betrays her, and Kennie's world comes crashing down around her, leaving her untrusting and in deep emotional pain. Can Kennie rise above these losses and ever risk her heart again?

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