Jane Doe

Sometimes a brief getaway where no one knows your name can change your life.

Emily Carver is an inhibited, small town woman who, against warnings from her family, takes her first trip to Las Vegas. On her first night there, she is mugged and saved from worse trauma by Royal Wooten, an independent, assertive woman, and a virtual opposite of Emily.

With no money or identification and unwilling to go home and face her “I-told-you-so” family, Emily decides to stay in Las Vegas and rebuild her stolen finances. But what she actually rebuilds is her entire life. She even gambles on a chance for true love and discovers that sometimes in order to find yourself, you have to start from scratch.

Chapter One

“B…13.” The caller’s voice crackled over the microphone.

Emily Carver poked her dauber over the corresponding number on three of her five bingo cards. A blue ink dot bled onto the B13 numbers, then quickly dried.

“This is so exciting!” her mother, Betty, said from the seat across from her. “It’s worth paying more for our cards this week. Just look at all of them spread out everywhere. Who do you think will win that trip to Las Vegas in the last game? A few more call-outs on this wrap-out and someone’s going to!”

“Yeah, and I hope that someone is me,” Emily said, although she was only half listening to her mother. She couldn’t look away from her cards—not with so much at stake. If she didn’t concentrate, tonight she could lose the biggest prize ever offered. She wanted that prize.

“I hope so, too,” Betty said. “You need to start saving for your wedding dress.”

“G…55.”

Emily scowled. “What a waste of money. Spend hundreds for a dress you only wear once. That’s stupid.”

“Honey, don’t be silly. Your wedding should be special.”

She wasn’t being silly. She just didn’t like all the pomp and circumstance. Emily shook her head and knew what was coming from her mother next.

“And you haven’t picked your wedding day yet. Time’s running out.”

Running out for what? She wasn’t pregnant, thank the Lord in heaven. And she sure wasn’t hurrying to be married. What was all the excitement about, anyway? Now, bingo, that wasexciting.

“N…41.”

Emily dabbed the number on two more cards, but concentrated on the one she needed to fill only one more square on.

“Emily, you have to get your priorities straight. All your friends are already married. Charles won’t wait forever.”

“Mom, I’m concentrating.” Charles probably would wait, but she wasn’t sure she cared one way or the other.

The tension and excitement in the room were palpable. People squirmed in their seats, their heads frozen in a downward position, staring laser beams toward their cards.

O66…O66, Emily mentally chanted. Just four Onumbers left to draw. Come on.

*

Royal Wooten raised the loop to her eye and focused on the princess-cut diamond ring. Six prongs held the stone and the setting looked sturdy. Though small inclusions marred the three-quarter-carat diamond, they weren’t noticeable without her magnifier. The gem’s color was rated H or I.

Royal lowered the loop. “This is real, all right.”

“Well, that’s good to hear, because nothing else about my creep of a boyfriend was.”

Royal rolled the ring around with her fingers. “Do you want to pawn this ring or sell it?”

“Sell it. I never want to see it again. Didja know that he told me he’d divorce his wife? We were playing craps right there at the Golden Nugget, not two days ago.” The woman standing on the other side of Royal’s counter flipped her French-manicured nails in the air. “He dumped me instead. Didja know he had a toupee? Said he was thirty-nine. Thirty-nine, my ass.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Royal had lost count of all the I-found-out-he-was-lying stories that accompanied the jewelry that cycled through her pawn shop. She fingered the ring once again and estimated that she could resell it for about sixteen hundred dollars. “I can give you eight hundred for this.”

The woman’s jaw clenched, then she nodded brusquely. “I don’t know what he paid for it. I’m sure it was a lot more, but I’ll take it. It’ll piss him off that he lost out twice.”

“I’ll have the cash in your hands in just a minute.” Royal retrieved the paperwork and began to fill out the purchase receipt.

Maybe someone else would look at this woman and shake their head, appalled that she’d fallen for the stories that man had told her. But Royal wouldn’t. She had believed her own type of foolish stories, only hers were the I’m-straight-but-now-that-I’ve-met-you-I’ll-be-gay tales.

Chapter Two

Just give me O66, Emily mouthed silently. She had never been out of Horatio, Oklahoma, and she ached to leave her dusty little town and see Las Vegas, one of the most exciting places imaginable. If the pictures were accurate, there had to be ten thousand lights for every person.

“I…19.”

She didn’t need that one. Come on, O66.

A strange sensation of calm single-mindedness gripped her. She lifted her head to watch the bingo blower. The balls flew around inside and bounced chaotically off one another, seeming to jostle for position.

Come on, O66.

The caller reached for the ball shooter and pressed the spring-loaded plunger that would launch the next ball into the playfield.

Come on, O66.

A number of balls, sucked up toward the opening of the blower, bumped about frenetically. One lone ball popped free and shot up into the receiving spout, and the caller plucked it out.

“O…66.”

“Bingo!” Emily shrieked, throwing her hands up into the air. “Bingo!”

Her mother shrieked too, and the rest of the church erupted in a buzz of chatter.

*

Royal finished a last-minute pawn loan with a regular customer.

“Thanks, Royal. You know I’m good for this,” he said as he pocketed the cash for the gold ring he’d just left with her.

“I know you are. I haven’t had to sell anything of yours since you started coming in.”

“No. I don’t like to default. And I sure don’t want to lose my stuff.” He nodded toward his ring. Though it was old, it weighed well over an ounce and would provide him some essential cash. It was still worth enough to keep her safe on the risk, just in case he ever did default.

Heinrich took the paperwork from her and filed it. Heinrich, with his kind, stately appearance, was by far her oldest employee. They were exactly the same height, about five foot nine, and both had green eyes. His hair was silver while hers was brown, and he was chunky whereas she was lean. In his mid-sixties, Heinrich had the demeanor of someone who had been raised correctly. His German temperament contributed an air of confidence and sophistication to the culture of Lucky Pawn, her shop.

He had been one of her first customers. She had helped him between paychecks and even between jobs, and when he retired from his office job at an insurance company, he spent even more time just hanging out at the shop.

Though she always followed the Nevada laws governing how much interest to charge for short-term loans, in the early days when he was a customer, she usually gave him a little more for his collateral items than she would to an unknown customer. He was honest but had trouble making ends meet, and while she was in business to make money, she also believed in helping others when she could. After all, others had helped her many years ago.

When Royal learned that he was spending so much time there because he was lonely, having lost his wife years earlier, she’d offered to hire him. That way, she always had enough help, since she had three other employees, and could take a little time off.

“Time to close up shop,” she said as she locked the register and gathered her things. Heinrich locked the file cabinet and waited for her by the back door.

It was after eight and Pauly, the other employee who had worked that day, had clocked out an hour earlier. Heinrich opened the back door for her, she switched off the lights, and they stepped out into the alley.

Heinrich walked her to the edge of it and waited until she climbed into her car. “See you tomorrow, Royal.”

Chapter Three

“No, we’re not goin’.” Charles leaned against Betty’s counter, noisily eating the last of her Rocky Road ice cream straight from the container.

Emily and Charles were over at her mother’s house, just as they were every Sunday evening after bingo. Charles worked for the Pepsi Bottling Company, as did most of their friends, and when he sometimes had the Sunday morning shift he’d come by for supper afterward, about the time Emily and Betty returned from bingo.

Emily liked supper at her mother’s since she didn’t have to cook. Her own apartment was small, so it wasn’t easy to prepare meals there, and Charles’s place was like a fraternity-boy’s pigsty that she avoided visiting.

“What do you mean, we’re not going?” Emily had cleared the plates from the table and was stacking them in the sink. Betty was trying to busy herself with the long, drawn-out task of returning the butter to the refrigerator.

“Just like I said.” He scooped a huge spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “The only time you could go is on a weekend. But I can’t go then. I’ve got work and softball.”

“Well, thanks for being happy that I won the big prize, Charles.”

“Congratulations. We’re not going.”

“Maybe I’ll just take a girlfriend instead.”

“Nope. Won’t do.” He stopped eating when she flashed a questioning glance. “You’re my girlfriend. You’re supposed to be at my games.” He shrugged innocuously. “That’s what you do.”

Frustration bubbled up in her throat. “You can’t tell me what I can or can’t do, Charles.”

“Doesn’t say much when I’m here workin’ and playin’ ball while my girlfriend is gallivantin’ around sin city.”

“Gallivanting?”

Charles looked at Betty. “Mama Carver, do you see where I’m comin’ from?”

Great. Get my own mother on your side.

“Well, I just pictured you going with Charles, honey. It’s a trip for two, and who knows? Maybe one of those chapels will be open.”

Charles grinned through another bite of Rocky Road and nodded. “Heh heh heh.”

That’s the last thing she wanted right then.

Emily had been with Charles since high school, and he’d grown up just down the street. She hadn’t fallen in love with him. He’d always been around, and they hung out practically every day, so as the years passed they just kind of grew fond of each other. They went to their high-school prom together primarily because everyone assumed they would. He hadn’t even asked her to go. Like everyone else, she’d assumed they’d go, too. But now that they were twenty-eight, church bells followed her practically everywhere. From the local hairdresser to their very geriatric mailman, matrimonial comments rolled out as frequently as “How ’bout this weather?”

“When are you and Charles gonna take the plunge?”

“Will this have to be a shotgun wedding, Emily?”

“You’d better snatch Charles up before somebody else does.”

They’d had sex exactly three times in the past year and a half. They’d never ripped each other’s clothes off or fallen off the bed in a passionate coupling. Having sex, mostly in her little apartment, was hardly more momentous than satisfying any other bodily function.

They’d always gotten along well, but she didn’t think sex was important and didn’t care much for it.

Emily genuinely liked Charles and even loved him, but sometimes she thought maybe she’d love anyone she’d grown up with, just because they’d spent so much of their lives together.

He could be bossy and, when he felt he should exert his masculine supremacy, would often puff up his chest like a rooster reminding the henhouse that he was the man on the scene. Of course, she’d long ago begun to ignore his show of dominance because she realized in the fifth grade that it wasn’t any more meaningful than if he combed his hair or cleared his throat.

She’d just nod, then usually go along with him because, most of the time, she didn’t have an opinion either way. He got to feel triumphant and she didn’t really care, so it worked.

Still, the ordinary, predictable pattern of her life made her want to scream sometimes.

She called Jenny, her best friend.

“I can’t go to Las Vegas, Em. I have to work.”

“Can’t you take the time off?”

“Don’t you remember? I took last weekend off when we went to Charles and Pete’s softball tournament. Why aren’t you going with Charles?”

“He doesn’t want to. He’s telling me I can’t either.”

“Well, I know it would be exciting and all, but shouldn’t you be saving for the wedding?”

“Jenny, not you, too. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

Even her second-best friend couldn’t go. Everyone was stuck right where they stood. She was so frustrated because, finally, she had a chance to experience something other than Horatio, Oklahoma. If she didn’t take this trip, this missed opportunity might haunt her the rest of her life.

*

Royal idled her car at the employee entrance of the Bullion Casino just off Fremont Street in downtown Las Vegas. The workers entering and exiting the back door all seemed to have one of only two bland expressions. They were neither happy nor sad, just distracted or glazed over. Maybe the time caused it, since it was after two a.m. But perhaps the weather was to blame. The thermometer had hovered around 110 degrees all day, and even though the witching hour had come and gone two hours earlier, the temperature had dropped only fifteen degrees.

Presently, her friend Delilah Muffington exited. Though she wore the same uniform as many of the other employees, she walked so gracefully she should have had a queen’s robe draped over her long frame and beautiful black skin instead of been stuffed into a polyester pants suit.

Clutching an embroidered vest in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other, she climbed into Royal’s car and plopped down. “I have to get a new vest, sugar.”

Delilah had been her best friend for almost ten years, right after Delilah first moved to Las Vegas from Texas. She topped out at six feet, only three inches taller than Royal, but she still seemed to tower over her. Not many people were used to a tall, black cowgirl who could walk a fashion runway right after riding a roping horse, but to Royal, nothing was paradoxical about Delilah. She was extremely authentic and the truest of friends.

“What’s the matter with that vest?” Royal said as she pulled out into traffic.

“It’s as tight as a camel’s ass in a sandstorm. Can’t breathe in the damn thing.” Delilah buckled her seatbelt.

“How are you?”

Delilah blew out what sounded like an exhausted breath. “What a long crazy day. I don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.” She patted Royal’s knee. “Thanks for picking me up. My car will be out of the mechanic’s shop by Friday. I hate to ask, but could you give me a ride tomorrow night, too?”

“No worries.”

“I know you get up early, so just remember that I think you’re a saint.”

Royal laughed. “This hardly compares.” Before Delilah could speak again she added, “And you know what I mean.”

“I do, honey.”

As they drove in silence, Delilah stared out the passenger window, then turned back to Royal. “I’m trying to get on the day shift again. This swing shift is killing me.”

“I hope you do.”

“The shared tips then aren’t as good, but I need to get back to a decent routine.”

Royal nodded.

“Hey, how’s business?”

“Can’t complain. It’s been really consistent. The loans are going out and coming in, but I’m selling more than normal.” The electronics were especially moving out the door. At pawn-shop rates, they were great bargains. “People love a deal.”

“Speaking of that, have you gotten any more Rolexes?”

“Not any women’s styles.”

“Well, you’ll let me know, huh?”

“Of course. You’d look pretty classy with some bling around your wrist.”

Delilah pinched her arm. “Who says I’m not classy now?”

“Not me.”

Royal dropped Delilah off at her house in north Las Vegas. It was in a tract of simple, but comfortable homes with picket fences in the front yards that she said reminded her of Texas.

“What are you doing tomorrow tonight?” Royal asked as Delilah opened the car door and the hot air almost stifled them.

Delilah looked at her watch. “You mean tonight? Got a date.”

Though she was hoping Delilah was free to hang out with her, Royal wasn’t surprised.

“Is it Stacy?”

“No. I stopped seeing Stacy when she told me she didn’t like me being a carnivore. She said it like ‘car-nee-var.’ She was weird. I won’t give up a big ol’ juicy steak for anyone.”

Royal laughed. “You never should.”

Delilah got out and leaned over to look in at Royal. “I’ve met someone I really like. Her name’s Allison, and she’s got to have lots of cute friends.”

“No friends, please.”

“Ah, come on. You never know. Don’t let that last fiasco burn your dating bridges.”

“I’m not keen on blind dates anymore.”

“Well, you’ll just have to get to know Allison’s friends and then see for yourself.”

“Perhaps.”

Delilah shook her head.

“What? I don’t need any help,” Royal said when she saw Delilah’s expression. “Do I?”

“Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.” She smiled. “Thanks for the ride, sweetie.” She closed the door, and Royal pulled away from the curb.

She should be open to dating again. Enough time had passed since her last relationship. And a lot of women she could meet were out there. Just as long as they weren’t straight. She refused to do that again.

Chapter Four

Emily shuffled down the aisle of the plane with the last of the passengers. Most people were already seated, and Emily was in the last group that filled the aisle. Her lungs were about to burst. This was her first plane trip and she was going to Las Vegas! Were all the passengers as excited as she was? When they stopped yet again for someone to heave a suitcase into the overhead luggage compartment, she turned to the woman behind her.

“Are you going home or leaving home?”

“Going home. I was visiting family here in Tulsa.”

Emily nodded. “I won this trip to Las Vegas!”

The woman smiled. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

After they had slowly passed a few more rows, Emily said, “I didn’t expect to see so many children on this plane.”

The woman looked around as if seeing them for the first time and nodded. “You’re right.”

“Seventeen of the 116 people on this plane are children.”

“Seventeen of 116?”

“Yeah, there are seventeen kids.”

“You counted them all? I mean all 116?”

“I do it all the time. I just count stuff. Actually, fifty-seven men and forty-two women are on this plane as well.”

“That’s a little freaky.”

“I know. But my brain just does it.”

*

Emily’s plane arrived at McCarran International Airport just before eleven a.m. As she rode down the Vegas Strip, her taxi driver was only too happy to tell her which casinos had the best buffets and which ones had the worst odds. The massive casino signs, the opulent architecture, and the cacophony of people and traffic and colors and lights enthralled her so much she wouldn’t remember a word he was saying.

They drove into the downtown area. The casinos there seemed a little less crowded than the casinos on the Strip, but they stood closer to each other, so the density of lights, neon signs, and different building styles made the sights that much more stimulating. She was eager to redeem her prize coupon and start her vacation.

He dropped her off at the Golden Desert Casino and Hotel in downtown Las Vegas, and when she walked in, the blitz that greeted her was amazing. The ringing and dinging of slot machines and the clamor of music and people were unbelievable. Cocktail waitresses scurried about with trays full of drinks while tuxedoed men and elegantly dressed women maneuvered indifferently around others dressed in cutoffs and T-shirts. Occasional whoops of exultant people cut through the air, suggesting promises of fortune. Emily could barely take in the energized hum of the entire place.

The clerk at the front desk informed her she couldn’t check in until three p.m., but the valet readily took her luggage and handed her a claim ticket.

Wandering through the circus atmosphere of the casino, she approached an area that contained rows of tables covered with green felt where folks sat hunched over, holding cards and moving chips around. Most of the games, such as Pai Gow poker, Let It Ride, and something called baccarat, were foreign to her. Though she knew what blackjack was, she’d never played it. She strolled past each table, and when she got to the end of the row, she walked over to the slot machines.

This looked easier. At least the machines didn’t seem as intimidating as the tables full of people who were deeply concentrating on their cards and stacks of chips.

She sat down at a twenty-five-cent machine and read all the instructions. She could bet one to three coins, and the different payouts were based on what came up on the wheels. For a while, she watched a woman who sat two machines away and got the hang of what she was doing.

Then she pulled out a ten-dollar bill and inserted it into the money slot.

Soon, she was winning little amounts, the readout showing that her original forty coins were sometimes up as high as eighty and sometimes down to ten. Getting an occasional payout and hearing the bells chiming her victories excited her.

“Drinks?”

Emily looked up to see a cocktail waitress standing next to her.

“How much is a diet soda?”

“All drinks are free here, honey.”

“Free?”

“Yes.” The waitress smiled. “All drinks.”

Emily smiled back. “Then may I have a beer?”

*

Royal put a guitar that a young man had recently pawned on a shelf in the back room and returned to the front of the shop just as three people entered. Her friend, Nann, followed a couple who walked over to the counter. She had met Nann at the local women’s bar and, since then, Nann had dropped by the pawn shop fairly often and become a regular at Royal’s barbeques. Nann was definitely cute and flirted quite a bit, but Royal didn’t have romantic feelings for her. Nann could be forward at times and had, more than once, tried to convince Royal to go out on a date, but Royal wouldn’t even consider it.

Nann stood back, waiting for Royal to conduct business with the couple.

“We’re looking for an engagement ring,” the woman said. They both seemed to be between fifty and sixty and were probably from out of town.

Royal showed them the case that displayed the rings and helped them when the woman wanted to try some on.

“We’re from Cincinnati,” the man explained. “We’ve been friends for years, but after Sally’s husband died five years ago, and my wife died two years ago, we decided to get better acquainted, if you know what I mean.”

“What better place than Las Vegas?” Royal said cheerfully.

The woman tried on a small white-gold ring with two half-carat diamonds mounted next to each other. “The mall jewelry stores are too expensive.”

“They can be,” Royal responded. She waved to Nann, who held up a hand as if to say, “Take your time.”

When the couple decided on a ring they both liked, the man pulled out his wallet to pay. “Since we’re both having a second go at marriage,” he quickly squeezed Sally’s shoulder, “we wanted to get a ring that would have a second go at marriage, too.”

Royal had never heard that particular philosophy. “That sounds like a great idea.”

When the couple left, Nann said, “You get the most interesting people in here.”

“It’s always been this way. Pawn shops are the last bastion of free enterprise.”

Nann walked over to the counter, looking at the variety of things for sale. Musical instruments were displayed next to computers and golf equipment and DVD players. “It’s more like the last holdout of the old Wild West trading posts.”

“Well, I reckon you’re right, pardner. What can I git ya?”

“A cowgirl, maybe?”

Royal looked under the counter for a moment. “I’m plumb outta cowgirls today.”

“Well, I see a purty one right in front of me.”

“She’s available as a friend, but you already know that because we’ve talked about it before.”

Nann pressed her lips together. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

“What brings you by?”

“On my way to work. The warehouse needed me to cover an extra shift so I gotta head out there in a little while. I was wondering if you’re still having a barbeque this weekend.”

Royal had just gotten a new, larger grill and wanted to host another summer burger party for her friends. “You bet. I can’t wait to fire that baby up.”

“I’ll bring the sodas, okay?”

“You’re on.”

“I was hoping to invite a few friends.”

“Sure. Who are they?”

“My softball team.”

Royal laughed. “You mean the whole team or just that cute woman who likes you and, oh, by the way, the rest of the women?”

“I’m not into her. I’ve told you that. Why are you pushing me off on someone else?”

She was on the verge of anger now, but Royal had seen that reaction before and chose to ignore it. “All right, all right. But if you don’t have someone’s number by the time you’ve finished grilling, I’ll have to rescind your lesbian card.”

“Look who’s talking. You haven’t been out on a date since when?”

Royal laughed. “You’re right. My dating card was revoked a long time ago.”

“You know, it can be reinstated any time.”

“Perhaps.” She realized she’d said that for the second time in as many days, which was  frustrating. As much as she liked to think she was fine being single, especially after the debacles of her previous relationships, she missed being with someone. Though time had a way of erasing the hurt her heart had experienced, the painful memories remained clear. She wasn’t eager to be wounded again.

Chapter Five

Emily was up sixty dollars. She couldn’t believe her luck. She’d already been gambling for a few hours and had taken only ten dollars out of her wallet. Sure, it would have been so much better to be sharing all this with someone, but since none of her friends had wanted to come, she’d have to make the most of the situation. Even Charles would have been company, but it was ridiculous to wish for something that wouldn’t happen. Taking this trip would never cross Charles’s mind. She’d always done what he wanted. In fact, she’d always done what her family wanted. When had she ever done something for herself?

The answer made her sad. Really never. Until now.

The longer she played, the more she enjoyed herself—alone or not. She’d never had much chance to be by herself. This was already making her think about things in a different way.

The woman sitting next to her had been so nice. While they pushed buttons and watched the reels spin, they’d chatted about where they were from, and Emily found out that she was a regular in Las Vegas.

“Are you done with that machine?” the woman asked when Emily had stopped hitting the buttons.

“I think so. I should quit while I’m ahead.”

“That’s a good policy to have around here.”

“It’s all so wonderful,” Emily told her. “I’m just trying to figure out what I want to do next.”

“Are you a blackjack player? The Silver Spark next door has three-dollar tables.”

“Actually, I’m a bingo player. That’s how I won this trip.” Emily was pretty sure she’d already told the woman about her big win but, oh well.

“They host bingo games over at the Sierra Casino—in the evenings. I’m sure they’ve started by now.”

“Are you kidding? Where’s the Sierra Casino?” Emily couldn’t believe her luck. If she won a trip to Vegas at her little church back home, there was no telling what she might win playing bingo in Vegas.

“It’s three blocks north of here, off Freemont Street. You have to go a few blocks north, then three blocks down Henderson Road. Do you know where that is?”

Emily shook her head.

“The easiest way to get there is to leave this casino through the side door, over there.” Emily looked in the direction of the woman’s pointed finger. “It’s three blocks down, then over. You can’t miss it.”

The woman told her how to cash out the slot machine, and she took the receipt that it spit into her hand.

“You can redeem that at the cashier’s window over there.”

“Thank you kindly,” Emily told the woman.

It was still really hot when she walked out of the casino, and starting to get dark, which surprised her. How long had she been gambling? It was hard to tell the difference between day and night in there with all the confusion and excitement.

Well, the casino valet had her luggage, so she could check into her room later. She really wanted to see what Vegas bingo was like.

As she wandered along, she wondered what bingo games they would offer. They probably wouldn’t have Four Corners. That was too quick a game because you only had to hit four numbers. They’d probably have Cover All, which took a while but was lots of fun. Her favorite game was Diamond, and she really hoped they’d offer it.

She spotted the Sierra Casino sign through an alley that bisected two large buildings. Since the casino was still three blocks away, this looked like a good shortcut.

The alley was deserted, and she walked as briskly as she could. She could see lights coming from the next block. Beyond that, the big tall building on the next block was the Sierra Casino. White lights blinked along the edges of it and red neon flashed some words, but she was too far away to read them.

She emerged from the alley and onto the first street. After she crossed the street she walked into the continuance of the alley. Two more blocks to go.

Emily heard footsteps behind her, from what sounded like two people. She didn’t turn around, but sped up. This stretch of the alley was empty too, and she hoped the footsteps came from people walking down the street she’d just crossed. But when the steps continued and got louder and quicker, she knew she wasn’t alone.

She focused on the opening of the alley onto the next street. The casino wasn’t too far away, and she sure wished she was already there.

“Hey, lady,” a male voice said from behind her.

She didn’t turn around but concentrated on the street in front of her.

“Lady,” the voice repeated, and now the footsteps broke into a trot. “Hey, lady, you dropped something.”

Emily couldn’t imagine what she could have dropped. She was clutching her wallet in her hand, and she didn’t have anything else with her.

She was about a quarter of a block from the entrance to the street when they caught up with her.

“Lady.”

She stopped and turned to face the one who kept trying to talk to her. He had dark hair and smelled of alcohol. A scar bisected his face and his two front teeth crossed over each other slightly. The other set of footsteps belonged to a taller man, whose mouth was upturned into a sickening smile.

“I didn’t drop anything.” She didn’t want to sound frightened.

“You’re about to,” the man said, and in the split second that her brain struggled to register that his shoulder was dipping down and his arm was cocking, a painful blow knocked her head back and the explosion of light dazzled her.

*

It was after eight and, as he usually did, Heinrich followed Royal to the back door. She switched off the lights and stepped into the alley.

As she clicked the door lock, she heard a muffled grunt followed by scuffling.

She frowned. “Did you hear that?”

In the moment that Heinrich nodded, a sharp scream erupted, and both Royal and Heinrich jerked their heads toward the north end of the alley. It was dark, but not enough to miss the fact that something was happening behind a dumpster. She could see a couple of guys, bent over, their legs spread and stiffly planted, as they grappled with something on the ground. Only a pair of pant legs and sneakers poked out from behind the dumpster, but that something sounded like a woman.

Royal stuffed her keys into her front pocket and took a few steps toward the dumpster, concern and anger flooding her body. Then she broke into a run.

Heinrich grunted, and she guessed he was right behind her.

She reached the dumpster in a few seconds, and, using her speed to her advantage, she lowered her shoulder and butted the closest man as hard as she could. Unprepared for the blow, he flew farther down the alley, tripped over his own feet, and landed hard on his hip and arm.

The other man was delivering blows to who Royal could now confirm was a woman that lay under him. Her face was covered in blood and she was so limp, Royal had no idea if she was conscious or even alive.

His head was bent down enough that Royal was able to turn her hip away from him and kick him hard in the ear. He yelped and tumbled onto his butt.

Royal knew she couldn’t tend to the woman yet because, as much as she had caught them unawares, she hadn’t finished these two men off by any means.

Heinrich yelled, “Don’t try it, asshole.”

Royal turned to see Heinrich with his fists pumped up in a boxer’s pose and the first man she had kicked taking a few steps toward him. The man launched a tirade of swear words at them, and the gist of it was that he was going to kill both her and Heinrich.

She checked on the second guy, who was just starting to sit up. He held his head and squinted up toward her.

She sized up the competition. They were easily twice her size and forty years younger than Heinrich. If the first guy got any closer and the second guy got up, they would be in trouble. If they had guns or knives, they were really screwed.

Suddenly, Heinrich howled, then tipped his head up and screamed. He stopped, lowered his head, and muttered in a low, menacing voice, “Willst Du mit zu mir nach Hause kommen und meine rosafarbene Unterwäsche sehen?” The advancing man stopped. Heinrich then began to pant like an insane person.

Royal had no idea what was happening, but the second man had begun to get up. All she could picture was the disadvantage they’d suffer if he succeeded, so she roundhouse-kicked him in the head, and he dropped like a pile of clothes waiting for laundry day.

Heinrich shrieked again, this time even louder. “Willst Du mit zu mir nach Hause kommen und meine rosafarbene Unterwäsche sehen?” The screech startled Royal. He sounded like a madman.

Then she remembered her cell phone. She snatched it from her belt case and punched in 911. Even though it was just beginning to ring, she pretended she had someone on the line. Seconds mattered right now.

“I’m in the alley south of Freemont and north of 6th Street. There’s been an attack and they’re still here. Help!”

The first man hesitated, temporarily stopped in his advance upon Heinrich.

Heinrich spoke again. This time his eyes bulged out and he was smiling. “Get your friend and get the hell out of here.” His tone was so strangely calm that the man blinked.

The woman on the ground hadn’t moved at all. Royal knew the man was contemplating his next move, so with all her might, she screamed as loud as she could, “Go!”

The man jumped into action. He grabbed his friend, pulling him to his feet, and they staggered down the alley toward 6th Street.

The line picked up. “Las Vegas 911. What is your emergency?”

Royal repeated the information, adding that the woman who had been attacked wasn’t moving. They told her to stay on the line until someone arrived. She bent down and placed her hand on the woman’s chest. She was breathing, but she was out cold. Her face was bloody and swollen. One bloody, purple eyelid looked like it was about to pop. The woman’s lightly curled, blond hair was matted with blood, and what must have been a striking jawline was scratched and puffy.

Heinrich came over to Royal and stooped down next to her. “Poor girl,” he said as the sound of a siren neared.

“That was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen you do. You even scared me.”

“Always do something unexpected. People don’t want to deal with crazy people. I’m just thankful it worked.”

“You sounded so frightening yelling in German. Not to mention extremely insane. What the heck did you say to those guys?”

“Would you like to come home with me and see my pink underwear?”

She paused and looked at him sideways.

He shrugged mischievously. “In case they understood German.”

Royal’s heart hurt knowing this woman hadn’t deserved such a brutal beating. She gently placed her palm against the woman’s cheek. It was hot and she cringed, knowing the pain would be intense when the woman woke up.

She moved closer. “Hang in there. You’ll be okay.” She carefully lifted a bloodied strand of hair from her ear. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Chapter Six

Royal stood at the reception counter watching the buzz of activity in the emergency room. After she had told the police what had happened and described the two men, the paramedics arrived and loaded the woman into an ambulance. On impulse, she’d followed it, thinking that when this woman came to, she’d need someone to tell her what had occurred.

“Patient’s name?” a woman in hospital admitting asked.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“We found her unconscious in an alley.”

The woman wrote something on the hospital form. “What’s your name?”

“Royal Wooten. W-o-o-t-e-n. Can I see her when she wakes up? I just need to tell her—”

“Her address?”

“I don’t know. I just came upon her in the alley.”

“Your address?”

Royal provided the information, then asked again, “Will I be able to see her?”

“Because you’re the responsible party, the doctor will call you when he has any information.” Without looking up, the woman ripped off the top copy of the form and handed it to Royal. “Take a seat.”

“Responsible party? Listen, ma’am, I don’t know her. I just want to—”

“Please take a seat, there’s a line behind you.”

Royal turned around to see five people eyeing her impatiently. She took the form and walked over to the waiting room.

After placing the form on her knee she tapped it with her thumb. She checked her watch. It was after nine. She had to go home, clean the house, make dinner, get some sleep, then pick Delilah up at the casino again.

She read the form. The patient was listed as Jane Doe.

“Well, Jane Doe, when you wake up, you can call someone and I’ll be on my way. You’re probably here on vacation and someone will pick you up soon. I really need to go home and get some things done.”

Looking at the form again, she reread the reason for hospital admittance and sighed. “I hope you’re okay.”

*

With her eyes closed and her head resting on the back of the chair, Royal listened to the predictable banter of a rough-talking Western gunman and a cynical bartender coming from a black-and-white movie playing on a small television chained and mounted to a high shelf in the corner of the waiting room.

The sound was scratchy, either from the reception or the poor quality of such an old film, and she started to relax. The drone of the dialogue made her sleepy. She must have drifted off because when she heard her name being called she was engulfed in a heavy fog.

“That’s me.” Royal sat up and waved to a doctor, who entered through the exam-room door and was walking over to her.

“I’m Dr. Britton. Your friend is sedated now but she’s doing well.”

“I don’t know her. We just found her in an alley.”

“That explains the name on her chart. Well, she was beaten very badly. Since she had some bruising behind her ears, we did a CAT scan but found no serious injuries. She did, however, suffer a mild concussion, lacerations to her scalp and cheek, and abrasions over her arms and sides. As you probably saw, she has a lot of swelling on her face. Her nose isn’t broken, but it’s extremely swollen, too. She has other wounds, but nothing life-threatening. We’ll need to keep her overnight. Can you come by around ten tomorrow? I’ll have completed my rounds by then. There’s a good chance she’ll be released.”

“When she comes to, she’ll be able to tell you how to contact her family. I don’t think I need to come back. I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”

The doctor gazed at her, and in the moment of silence, Royal felt guilty.

“Very well, then. We’ll keep an eye on her overnight. Her pupils are normal, and she hasn’t had any serious symptoms, but I can guarantee she’ll have a heck of a headache tomorrow.”

Royal nodded, and when she didn’t respond, the doctor left. She flipped her wrist over to see her watch. It was almost two in the morning.

“Great. No housecleaning or dinner. And I have to pick Delilah up.”

She rose from the chair and her stiff back and legs complained painfully. Her neck hurt too from sitting in the same position for hours. Before she walked out of the emergency room, she looked back at the door through which the doctor had exited. Here she was feeling grouchy about her aching muscles when that poor woman had not only been badly beaten, but was alone in a strange hospital.

She looked down at the floor, contrite for being so selfish. But something else pulled at her.

When she had held the woman’s face in the palm of her hand, she felt the angry heat of her pain, but that act had also created a bond that had made her yearn to help and protect the stranger.

However short-lived that bond would be, she decided to see it through.

*

“I could have met you outside at your car. And you’re a little early.” Delilah was dealing blackjack to a drunken man and an elderly Hawaiian couple. “Couldn’t sleep?”

Royal stood behind one of the empty chairs. “Haven’t been to bed yet.”

“Are you okay?”

The elderly couple pushed their chips toward Delilah.

Delilah counted the red chips and placed two black ones next to their pile. “Cashing out two hundred in chips.”

A pit boss confirmed her call, and she pushed the chips toward the couple.

“Good night, Delilah,” the woman said.

“Good night, you two. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.” She began to deal a hand to the drunken man and repeated, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It’s a long story.”

“Well, start spillin’.”

The man lost the hand of blackjack and fumbled with his chips until he managed to put another ten dollars in the betting circle.

“A woman got beaten pretty badly in the alley behind the pawn shop. Heinrich and I helped her out, and I followed the ambulance to the hospital.”

“Is she all right?”

Delilah laid out the next round of cards and dealt herself an ace up. She checked her hole card, then flipped it over to reveal a king. The drunken man grumbled, picked up his last few chips, and stumbled away from the table.

“Better luck, sir,” Delilah called after him.

“She’s unconscious. The guys that rolled her took all her cash and identification.”

“You mean no one even knows her name?”

“Well, it’s Jane Doe for now.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“Is she cute?”

“Delilah, she’s cut up, swollen, and unconscious.”

“But is she cute?”

Royal was about to say that the woman did have a beautiful face beyond the dreadful damage she’d sustained. “You’re incorrigible.”

“I’m just sayin’. So, did they catch the guys that beat her?”

“No. And it was a good thing we came out when we did. They could have killed her.”

“You know what they say about lucky people. You can try to hang ’em but the rope will always break.”

“That was her all right.”

“So no one knows if she’s a local or not?”

“I’m guessing she’s a visitor. But I don’t know where she’s staying or who’s here with her.”

“Poor thing. Hopefully someone’s looking for her by now.”

“After I take you home, I’m gonna try to get a couple hours sleep and then go back over there. I expect she’ll already be awake and someone will be there to pick her up.” As Delilah greeted a new customer, Royal said, more to herself than anyone else, “At least, I hope.”

Chapter Seven

Emily swam up through murky blackness. As consciousness returned, she felt horrible. She was groggy, and even though she’d just woken up, she wanted desperately to go back to sleep, but her head pounded mercilessly. When she moved her lips her mouth felt numb and very strange. She touched her tongue to her lips and a jolt of pain made her open her eyes. Luckily the moderate darkness of the room slightly soothed her head, but where was she?

A sink. A chair. Rails on either side of her bed. An IV stand with a tube running into her left arm.

Hospital room.

Some light filtered in from a window, telling her it was daytime. Through the door that was open a crack, she could hear doctors being paged.

She reached up to her mouth. It was exceedingly swollen and ached. Gingerly, she ran her hand over her face and discovered a long line of stitches on her forehead and a smaller number of them on her left cheek.

What had happened?

Gradually, the memory of Las Vegas, the casinos, and the alley returned. She remembered wanting to go to a bingo game. She had been in an alley and…then what?

Her throat tightened. Why couldn’t she remember? Her heart raced and she wanted to race with it, away from this place, back to somewhere safe. But where was that?

The sliver of light coming from the partially closed door widened, and the silhouette of a figure took shape at the end of her bed.

“Excuse me,” a woman whispered. “Are you awake?”

“Yes,” Emily said, but the scratchiness in her throat made her voice sound foreign to her. She cleared her throat and tried again. “Yes.”

“How are you feeling?”

The woman moved to the side of the bed and Emily could see her better now. Sandy brown hair. Tall, with broad shoulders. Wearing a USC T-shirt, jeans, and boots.

“You don’t look like a doctor.”

The woman laughed. “I’m not. My name’s Royal.”

“Royal?”

“Yes. I found you in the alley last night. Two thugs were beating you up. When my friend Heinrich and I came out into the alley, they were, well, they were mugging you. We were able to chase them off and then call 911.”

Emily paused. Now she remembered. “Two guys came up behind me and said I’d dropped something. I turned around, and one of them hit me in the face.”

“I don’t know if the police have found them yet but—”

A doctor walked in. “Hello, I’m Doctor Britton.” He came over to the bed, and Royal stepped out of the way.

“How are you this morning?” he said as he checked her pupils, then examined her stitches.

“A little confused.”

“What’s your name?”

“Emily Carver.”

“Where do you live?”

“Horatio, Oklahoma.”

“Do you know which city you’re in?”

“Las Vegas.”

“That’s correct. Do you remember what happened to you?”

“Some guys jumped me in an alley, but after the first hit, I don’t remember anything.”

“They beat you pretty badly. You suffered some lacerations and contusions, as well as a concussion. We couldn’t contact your family because, when they brought you in, we couldn’t find any ID on you.”

“You mean my wallet’s gone?”

“I’m afraid so,” the doctor said.

“There was nothing on the ground around you, either,” Royal said. “I checked.”

Emily felt a new kind of ache, followed by a bolt of foreboding over her decision to come to Vegas alone. “Thank you,” she replied weakly.

“Your concussion could cause a wide variety of symptoms,” the doctor explained. “Because this was a grade three, you don’t seem to have any memory loss, either prior to or after the blow to your brain, and you don’t have any other apparent problems such as confusion or difficulty speaking. You should recover satisfactorily. The nurse will be in soon to get you up, and we’ll see if you experience any dizziness. Now, it’s important that you allow your brain to heal. You might have some balance problems, but don’t worry. We’ll release you with some information on home recovery. You can expect your brain function to return to normal within twenty-four hours to ten days, but it’s important to see a doctor in a week or, if any symptoms get worse, immediately.”

Emily frowned. “It’s hard for me to concentrate even on what you’re saying. I’m sorry.”

Royal leaned forward, looking at her from behind the doctor. “I’ll remember what he’s told you.”

“Okay, Miss Carver. We’ll keep you here a few more hours and, if nothing changes, you’ll be able to go home.”

When the doctor left, Emily took a deep breath. “It feels like a nightmare. What am I going to do?”

Royal stepped closer to the bed with a sympathetic expression. “It’ll be okay. You’ll heal just fine.”

She turned to look out the window. “This is horrible.”

“Well, ah, at least you have a new name. You can kinda be incognito now.”

She turned back to Royal.

“Your chart says Jane Doe.”

Royal looked so concerned and a little uneasy. It felt comforting that Royal was trying to make her feel better. Admittedly, she was alive and would be okay.

“That’s funny. I always liked the name Jane. I read Jane Austen when I was young.” Could things get any more surreal? This certainly wasn’t how she expected her fabulous trip to Las Vegas to turn out.

“Who are you in town with?”

“No one. I came out here on my own.”

Royal removed her cell phone from a waistband holster and held it out to her. “Here. Use this to call your family. Let them know you’re okay.”

Emily looked down and slowly shook her head.

“What’s the matter? Are you feeling worse?”

When she lifted her head, Royal was right next to her bed, looking very worried.

“No. I don’t want to call them.” She massaged her head, trying to rub away the throbbing. “They were all against me doing this. You see, I won a trip for two, but no one would come with me. When I decided to go by myself, they said I’d get into trouble. Even the members of the church where I won the trip thought it was awful that I’d even consider going to a big bad place like Las Vegas alone. Everyone, and I mean everyone, said, ‘Don’t make me say I told you so.’ Worse, if I let them know what happened, my family will literally come out here and drag me home.”

“Oh,” Royal said.

“I couldn’t bear that right now. I just want to crawl under a rock. I was so stupid to walk down that alley.”

“Emily, it could have happened to anyone.”

“But little old Emily, from a tiny speck of a town in Oklahoma, falls prey to the exact thing they warned me about. They said I wouldn’t be able to protect myself. That I was too naïve and weak to handle things by myself.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Royal suddenly said. “Anyone can get mugged. One woman against two men doesn’t have a chance. Given what happened, though, I’m sure they’ll be concerned and will want to know you’re all right.” She held the cell phone up again.

Emily looked at the black electronic device hovering in the air between Royal and her. It would communicate her failure in high-tech digital quality. She couldn’t bear to think about it.

“Having them come out here and take me back would be horrible. Mass humiliation. No. I won’t do it. I’m so mad at myself right now, I can hardly stand it. If I add complete embarrassment and disgrace to that, my head will just bust open.”

“I seriously doubt that, given how it fared against those thugs last night. Look, just let me dial the number for you.”

“No. I won’t listen to them tell me how foolish I was. I’d never hear the end of it. They’d probably never let me leave Horatio again.” She shook her head in defiance, then winced at the pain. “No.”

“If I were one of your family members, I’d want to know how you’re doing.”

“If you were part of my family, you wouldn’t be living in Las Vegas. I’m the only one who’s ever left Oklahoma.” She looked at Royal, who had finally lowered the phone from midair. “Thank you for saving me, Royal. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t come along. And please thank your friend, too. I’ll always be so grateful that you helped me and got me to the hospital. But I’ll be fine, now. I just need to get out of here and go someplace nice and quiet.”

“Do you have some money back in your hotel room?”

“I hadn’t even checked into my hotel. I’ll do that as soon as I leave here.”

“Without any ID, I don’t think you can.”

Tears welled up in her eyes and she gave in to their insistence on spilling over onto her cheeks. “What an idiot I am. Of course I should call them. I was stupid to think that I could come out here by myself.”

Royal fidgeted with her car keys, obviously not knowing what to say next. As if coming to the rescue, a nurse marched in and checked Emily’s vitals. “Time to get you up to go to the bathroom. Do you think you can do that for me?”

Emily looked at Royal, who quickly stepped back and said, “I’ll wait out in the hall.”

*

Propping her shoulder against the wall, Royal shoved her hands in her pocket, swore a few times, then took a deep breath and blew it out in exasperation.

Why hadn’t she stayed in the alley and let the paramedics do their job? But she just had to accompany Emily to the hospital and, suddenly, the plot had thickened.

All Royal had wanted to do was get those guys off her and make sure she was okay.

But Emily had no money and no place to stay. She needed someone to help her.

Royal pulled her hand out of her pocket and ran it brusquely through her hair. She had just uncomplicated her own life and wasn’t ready for any new dilemmas. This woman was a complete stranger, and she was probably straight, which spelled further trouble for Royal.

Still, Emily needed help.

The nurse emerged from the room and said nonchalantly, “She’s all yours now.”

“All yours” wasn’t what she needed.

She whimpered in self-loathing and struggled with her dilemma. When the muggers were beating that poor woman, she hadn’t hesitated. But now that Emily was safe in the hospital, with others to take care of her, Royal had assumed she would walk away and leave the rest to the doctors and nurses.

The trained medical personnel were here to tend to the wounds and not much more. Emily was alone, afraid, and needed help, and Royal understood those feelings well.She also knew what absolute stubbornness was like.

She sighed and pushed off the wall.

*

Emily was still in bed when Royal poked her head in. “All clear?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Any dizziness?”

“None.”

“That’s good. Okay. Here’s the plan.” Royal couldn’t believe what she was about to say. “After they release you, you can come back to my place until you feel better.”

“You mean until I give in and call my family?”

Royal laughed. Emily was indeed on the highway called Stubborn and heading straight toward the city of Obstinate. “Until you feel better and decide what you want to do.”

“I’m sorry for snapping. I’m just so damn mad at myself. But I can’t put you out like that. It’s too much of a burden.”

“Then where will you go?”

Emily looked down at her hands resting limply in her lap. Royal didn’t know what she was thinking, but she was certain Emily was weighing her choices, which probably totaled three: call home for help, let a stranger help her, or join the homeless of downtown Vegas.

Emily lifted her eyes to meet Royal’s. “It won’t be for long, I swear.”

Funny, that’s exactly what Royal wanted to do right then. Swear.

Chapter Eight

The doctor gave Emily a couple of prescriptions to fill, and she was released at noon. Royal had arrived just as the nurse was helping her out of bed. She brought a pair of sweats and a T-shirt with her, since Emily’s clothes had been ripped and badly stained with blood as well as the grease and filth in the alley.

Though Emily never wanted to see those ruined clothes again, she had to admit that not all of Las Vegas was bad. Royal had come to her aid. Lord knows what would have happened if the thugs hadn’t been scared off. The stitches felt tight on her forehead and cheek, and her face was puffy, which made it difficult to fully open her eyes. She hadn’t felt much in the rest of her body until she got into the car. The movement made her aware of the bruises on her back and sides that she hadn’t felt when she was lying still in the hospital bed.

She didn’t talk much on the way to Royal’s house. The bright desert sun hurt her eyes, so she kept them closed and concentrated on anything but the throbbing between her ears. She opened her eyes when the car bumped over something. They had pulled into a driveway. The house in front of her looked Spanish, with beige-colored stucco walls and white window trim. Bougainvillea bushes wound their way up both corners of the building, and two palm trees provided a little shade in the yard.

“Here we are.” Royal jumped out of the car, trotted over to Emily’s side, and opened the door.

Royal helped hery out and the sudden movement made Emily so dizzy she clutched the side of the car for support. Immediately, Royal’s strong arm was under hers, steadying her.

“Take your time,” Royal said gently.

They managed to get inside and Emily melted onto Royal’s big, plush couch. It wasn’t necessarily any more comfortable than her own couch at home, though that one held so many memories of her longingly watching television shows of all the places she’d never been able to travel to. And Charles’s smelled of guy sweat. They only used it to watch the shows he wanted to see. Royal’s didn’t stir any frustrating memories. It also felt safe, and that was better than anything she’d encountered in a long time, except maybe finally being able to get on a plane to a new city.

Suddenly, when Royal went into the kitchen, Emily felt completely exhausted. She was so tired that when Royal came back with a glass of iced tea, Emily said, “Do you mind if I just close my eyes for a little while?”

“Not at all.” Royal fluffed up some pillows before helping her lie down. A moment later, Royal covered her with a light blanket and she barely responded with a thank you before she began to drift off.

*

“So where’s this Jane Doe?” Delilah had let herself into Royal’s house like she always did, having arrived after Royal woke from her night in the armchair. She had worried that Emily might need something and wanted to be nearby. Though she hadn’t slept particularly well, Emily seemed to have been knocked out all night.

She nodded in the direction of the family room. “She’s asleep on the couch now.”

Delilah tiptoed over. “Hello, Jane Doe.”

Something inaudible sounded from the blanket, and Delilah turned to Royal. “She looks like hell. Those bastards should be hung from their peckers for what they did to her.”

“Her name’s Emily.” Royal motioned for Delilah to follow her to the kitchen. “It’s kinda hard to imagine what she looked like before this. She seems more swollen today than she did yesterday.” She picked up the hospital paperwork. “But she isn’t having any of the symptoms we’re supposed to watch for.”

“You sure are taking good care of her.”

Royal ignored her comment. She didn’t like to be fussed over. But, more than that, she still wasn’t sure why she’d offered to take the woman in so quickly.

“She needed help, that’s all.”

“That’s all?”

“Sure. It’s what I’d want someone to do for me.”

“Like our city services do for hundreds of people that get into those kinds of predicaments every year.”

“Yes.”

“I suppose she could have just stayed in the hospital. That’s what our taxes are for, right?”

“Where are you going with this?”

Delilah’s lip curled into a smile.

“Ah, Delilah, you should have seen her lying in that alley. She was so…broken. This beautiful woman was beaten senseless, and when I saw what they had done to her…and when I saw her so scared in the hospital…”

Delilah lovingly pinched her cheek. “You’re a saint.”

“You’ve tried to stick me with that epitaph before.”

“It’ll look good carved in marble.” Delilah opened the refrigerator and took out a Dr Pepper. “So, when’s her family coming to fetch her?”

“They’re not. At least not yet. She hasn’t called them.”

“Why in heavens not?”

Royal explained what little she knew about the family’s I-told-you-so attitude back in Horatio, Oklahoma, and Emily’s determination not to ask for help because of it.

“Well,” Delilah summed up the situation, “sometimes a family can go too far pushing their beliefs on us. It can make the best of us strong, if not stubborn.”

Royal fingered the claim check in her pocket. “Speaking of being a saint, would you take over the reins for a while? I need to fill her prescriptions and pick up her luggage from the valet at the Golden Desert Casino.”

“Since you have a whole six pack of Dr Pepper sitting in your icebox, I’ll be happy to babysit Jane Doe.”

“It’s Emily.”

“She’s got no wallet, no identity. Jane Doe seems so much more fitting.”

*

When Royal returned, her new roommate was awake and being entertained by not only Delilah, but Heinrich and Nann, who sat in chairs pulled close to the couch.

“I leave for an hour and a party sprouts up in my house.” Royal walked through the family room, dropped the luggage in the hallway, then carried a small pharmacy bag into the kitchen.

“We came by to see how Jane Doe was feeling,” Heinrich said in Royal’s direction.

“Word travels fast.” Royal returned to the family room with two bottles of medicine and a glass of water and stood next to Emily, who was sitting up on the couch.

“We’re filling Jane in on the many wonderful facets of Las Vegas.”

“Well, it’s time for Jane to take her meds.” Royal looked over and saw Nann frowning at her. Perplexed, Royal furrowed her brow and Nann quickly looked away.

“When Jane feels better, we’ll take her to the Strip, the mountains, and to the best locals-only steak house,” Delilah said.

Though she wasn’t smiling, Nann chuckled. “Yeah, well, if you really want our new friend to get to know us, you need to tell her about our special pride week.”

“Let’s not overwhelm Emily with our tales of sin city.” She didn’t need to be bombarded with all the gayness just yet. Royal felt a sudden need to protect Emily from Nann.

“It’s Jane,” Delilah reminded her.

“I like it, actually,” Emily said. “I’ve always liked the name Jane.”

Heinrich nodded. “New town. New friends. New name.”

“Yes, please call me Jane.”

“We’d be as happy as a dog with two tails.” Delilah slapped Royal’s leg. “Wouldn’t we?”

“Jane it is, then.” But the new Jane was looking a bit pale.

Royal encouraged her to take the pills, then handed her the glass of water. “Heinrich also told me more about what happened in the alley.” She swallowed the pills and looked up at Royal. “Thank you.”

Royal sat on the edge of the couch. “How are you feeling?” Jane’s face was still very swollen but her eyes had opened some.

“I’m not quite ready for the prom, but otherwise, I’m doing okay.”

Nann said, “Well, ain’t this just like The Wizard of Oz? Here we are, all of us, sitting around you right after you woke up from your crazy dream. Maybe we should call you Dorothy.”

Heinrich stood up from an easy chair. “I can tell you, those men were not a dream.” He stepped close to Jane and put a gentle hand on the cheek that didn’t have stitches. “I am so sorry they hurt you, little one. I wish we’d been there sooner.”

Jane took his hand in hers. “I’m just so grateful you came when you did.”

“I’ll see you again soon, I hope.” As Heinrich stepped away to leave, Nann and Delilah got up as well.

They all said their good-byes and soon Jane and Royal were left on the couch.

“Your friends are nice.”

“They are.” Royal was glad they were alone now, which seemed a little silly. It wasn’t like they were new lovers and couldn’t wait to resume honeymooning. Jane needed sleep, and Royal wanted to be sure she could watch over her without interruptions.

*

“What a first impression I made with your friends.” Jane stretched and sat up. She had slept for an hour while Royal read a book in the easy chair nearby.

Royal nodded toward Jane’s cheek. “You mean that dangerous, stitched-up, tough-guy look?”

“More like that got-my-ass-kicked look.”

“They can all see past the bruises to what you’ll look like when they clear up, I guarantee.”

“I wish I could have washed my hair before they came over. It’s still a mess.” Jane pulled her fingers through her hair and they caught on some dried blood.

“Well, that’s one thing we can take care of right now.”

Royal ran the kitchen faucet until the water was warm. With a bottle of shampoo and some towels from the bathroom, she stood behind Jane.

“Here.” Royal handed her a washcloth. “Hold this over your stitches to keep them dry.”

Jane bent over into the sink, holding the washcloth against her face, and supported herself with her other forearm.

Royal asked, close to her ear, “Does having your head upside down make it hurt?”

“A little. But it’s worth getting rid of this yuckiness.”

It was divine when Royal started spraying the warm water on her head. She ignored the pounding caused by the blood rushing to her head and concentrated on the fact that having clean hair would set the world right. Royal turned off the water and clicked open the bottle of shampoo.

“Oh.” As Royal massaged the shampoo into her scalp, Jane almost collapsed in ecstasy. No one had washed her hair since she was a little girl and her mother would have to corner her. It was always a traumatic affair and she’d hated every second of it. But Royal’s hands felt so good Jane hoped she wouldn’t melt down the drain in a lump of goo.

“You okay?”

Royal’s breasts pressed into her back. This foreign feeling seemed, somehow, unsuitably intimate. But maybe because of the unbelievable massaging it didn’t bother her a bit.

“I’m doing great.”

Royal scrubbed and kneaded her head longer than Jane would have if she was washing her own hair, but, she thought with an inward grin, she could take her time. When Royal rinsed her hair, she continued the massage and finished getting out all the soap with long strokes of her hand.

With selfish disappointment, Jane heard Royal turn off the water. She wrapped a towel around Jane’s head and helped her straighten up.

“How’s that?”

“I feel human again.”

“Well, that’s good. Let’s brush you out and get your hair dry. Sit at the kitchen table.”

Jane kept her eyes closed the whole time Royal dried her hair.

“I’m going to start going to the hairdresser every week,” Jane said.

“Maybe I missed my calling.”

“Oh, you can own the pawn shop and still do my hair.”

Royal turned off the hair dryer.  “I suppose I’ll be getting a generous tip?”

Jane reached up and felt clean, tidy locks. “Whatever you want. You can’t imagine how good this feels. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

While Royal gathered the towels and shampoo, Jane said, “Well, I think it’s time.”

Royal stopped and turned.

“May I see a mirror?”

“Are you sure you want to?”

“Please.”

*

Royal came back and sat down in a chair next to Jane. The feel of her breasts against Jane’s back when she shampooed her hair had energized the part of her that was coming back to life after being celibate for quite a while. She had imagined wrapping her arms around Jane and pulling her closer, burying her face in Jane’s wet hair.

“Are you gripping that mirror so hard because you know my face looks bad?”

“No,” Royal said, and relaxed her hand.

Jane took the mirror and grimaced at her reflection. Royal thought that the skin around her stitches wasn’t as red as it had been, but the black threads cut two obvious lines across skin that must have previously been smooth and unspoiled. Both eyes were black, and red and pink patches of broken vessels made them look sore.

Now that her hair was free of the matted blood, it fell in loose, shiny, blond curls. Her small nose was freckled, and beyond the redness, her eyes were light jade, like the color of small, treasured Japanese carvings.

Because Jane had been wearing Royal’s too-large shorts, Royal hadn’t seen much of her except tanned arms as freckled as her nose. Now she realized that Jane had a body that would turn a lot of heads and that beyond the contusions and abrasions she was an especially attractive woman. In fact, she was attractive in a way that made Royal suddenly tingle inside.

Under those shorts, she pictured Jane’s thighs, strong and firm and tapering slightly as they reached her hips. Her skin would be supple, and velvety blond baby hair would tickle her lips if she kissed her— But why was she torturing herself by picturing Jane without those shorts on? Just when she began to chew on that surprising fact, Jane muttered weakly, “Oh, my God.”

Royal met her gaze when she looked away from the mirror and swore she could feel the despondency flowing from those remarkable eyes. She immediately regretted getting Jane the mirror and gently took it away from her. “You look beautiful.”

Jane’s brow immediately crinkled and Royal paused, not knowing if the gesture meant disbelief or displeasure.

“I mean everything will heal.”

It seemed as if Jane stared at her for minutes before finally saying, “How I didn’t get my nose broken, or worse, I don’t know. Oh, God.”

“Can I get you an ice pack?”

Jane was obviously feeling the weight of her attack. The emotional anguish would outlast the cuts and bruises, and Royal wanted to hold her and kiss the pain away.

“Maybe something for the back of my head.”

She hurried to turn a kitchen towel and some ice cubes into a cold therapeutic pillow and led Jane to the couch. There, she placed it underneath Jane’s head and sat silently with her until Jane removed it.

“Do you actually think I’m beautiful?”

Royal took a moment to make sure her response wouldn’t reveal the extent of the growing and confusing attraction that rose inside her. “Yes, you are, Jane.”

“Strange,” she said. “Nobody tells me that very often.”

“Really? Then people in Oklahoma must be partially blind.”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better about this mess.” She drew a circle in front of her face.

“I can see beyond that.”

“Thank you,” Jane said, and Royal stood up so that she wouldn’t caress her face or…worse.

“I have to go to the shop and relieve Heinrich. He’s been there all day.” Royal gave her the remote and showed her how to use it. Then she handed her a cordless phone. “If you need anything, just punch the star button, then the number one. That’s the speed-dial code for my shop. Don’t hesitate to call.”

Her empathy for Jane was beginning to fade, and an all-too-familiar attraction was threatening to replace it. But the poor woman needed comfort and safety right now, not someone hitting on her. She needed a friend who would allow her time and a place to heal, not a lust-filled lesbian taking advantage of her dependence on her. Royal wanted to provide that for her and hoped she could rein in her other self who was too susceptible to beautiful straight women, which Jane undoubtedly was.

“I may say thank you about a thousand more times,” Jane said, “so just let me, okay?”

Suddenly ashamed of her thoughts, Royal pulled her car keys from her pocket and headed for the back door. She needed some time away from Jane to get her head straight. “Okay.”

Chapter Nine

Royal awoke Saturday morning to the sound of a sitcom playing on the television out in the family room.

After work the night before, she’d picked up a pizza, and she and Jane ate and watched TV until eleven. When Jane fell asleep during the news, Royal had cleaned the dinner off the coffee table, then stood over Jane, watching her sleep. Her breasts rose and fell in a seductively tantalizing rhythm. She imagined her head against Jane’s chest, listening to her heart beat and stroking Jane’s thigh, coaxing her breasts to rise and fall even faster.

A vision of Jane’s head thrown back, gulping air, made Royal’s heart pump harder.

She shook her head, scolding herself for her lasciviousness. She was on thin ice. She had pulled the blanket farther up over Jane, covering her breasts, and gone to bed.

“Good morning,” Royal said.

Jane sat cross-legged and held a coffee mug on top of a pillow in her lap. “Good morning.”

Royal hadn’t shared a house with anyone in a long time. The night had been relaxing and fun. As a matter of fact, she had welcomed the feeling of togetherness and allowed herself the pleasant fantasy of living together permanently. And now, seeing Jane, with the cutest bed head ever, stirred her libido. As long as she kept those feelings to herself, what would it hurt? Anyway, this sleepover party was temporary.

“I figured out how to make coffee.”

“Then you can stay,” Royal said as she got a mug of her own and gathered her keys from the kitchen counter. “How did you do last night?”

“I’m not dizzy any more. I even got up to go to the bathroom.”

Royal frowned. “You should have called me.”

“I would have if I’d needed to, but I was all right.”

“Since you’re doing better, we’ll move you to the guest room tonight.”

Jane looked down the hall. “Do you have to work today?”

Royal nodded. “We’re open seven days a week. My staff can run the shop when I’m not there, so I can steal away for a day or two. Today, however, I need to do some paperwork.”

“Is it okay if I use your phone? I need to arrange for a new driver’s license, put a stop on my credit cards, and call my parents…” A look of exasperation washed over her face as her eyes momentarily clouded over. She rushed through her next sentence. “I will figure out a way to pay you back for the long-distance call, but—”

Royal held her hand up. “Jane, you can use the phone as much as you want. And I expect you to help me eat the food I have here. You’re a guest, and you don’t have to ask permission, okay?”

“Okay.” When Jane smiled, her swollen cheeks forced her eyes to close completely. She reached up to her cheek. “God, I must look like a hippo.”

“More like a chipmunk.” Royal smiled back. “What do you plan to tell your parents?”

“I’m not sure. I can’t say a word about this.” She pointed to her face. “I knew that going somewhere this far away without Charles or even a friend would raise eyebrows.”

“Who’s Charles?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?”

Jane nodded. “Fiancé, actually.”

The news hit her like the sting of a frigid winter day. The fantasy she’d allowed herself had been short-lived. All the better, she thought. Her foolish delusions about Jane needed to stop. “It sounds like you have a lot of people at home that care about you.”

Jane nodded. “They do. But they’ll freak out if I mention this now. I can’t let them see me like this. They’d chain me to a church pew and keep me there until my wedding day.”

Royal fought the futile ache forming in her stomach. “Do you have a date set?”

Jane laughed. “No. Everyone in town has asked me when we’re getting married at least a hundred times each. But no one has asked me if I want to get married. I mean, I know that’s the next step, but I just can’t seem to go there. And if Charles sees me like this, he’ll go all George of the Jungle on me.”

Did that mean Jane wasn’t so enamored with Charles? Did that mean that maybe she had a chance with Jane?

“Well, we wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

Jane shook her head. “You don’t know Charles. He thinks he owns me. But I think I proved that he doesn’t when I stepped on that plane.”

Who the hell was this woman who’d landed in her alley? “Listen, tomorrow I’d like to have a welcome-to-Las-Vegas barbeque for you. Just some friends coming over. I hope you’ll feel up to it.”

“That would be nice. I’m getting a little bored hanging out in the house by myself. Don’t get me wrong, these past three days have given me a chance to recuperate, but I’m feeling better every day and a change would be great.”

“Good. Remember to take your pills today. I’ll bring something back for dinner later.”

*

After Royal left, Jane called her credit-card companies to let them know of the theft. Next she contacted the Oklahoma Department of Public Safety about getting a new driver’s license. Told that she would have to appear in person, she decided that driving might have to be at the bottom of her list for a while.

She called her bank and arranged to have a new debit card sent to her in Las Vegas, then hung up.

All of her theft calls taken care of, she picked the phone back up with a heavy sigh and dialed one last number. Since her parents didn’t have an answering machine, her mother Betty picked up right away.

“Emily, honey, where have you been? You were supposed to call us when you got there. We’ve been worried sick.”

“I’m fine, Mom. I’ve met some really nice people and I’m having a great time.” She was only lying about the first part.

“Charles has asked about you twice already because he hasn’t heard from you either.”

“Mom, don’t worry so much.” But they had lots to worry about because she’d been so foolish to go traipsing down a dark alley.

“Who are these people you’ve met?”

“Just nice folks who live here, and they’re showing me all over Las Vegas.”

“Have you met a man?”

“No, Mom. My friend’s name is Royal and she owns a business called Lucky Pawn. Las Vegas is really a great place.” She grew nervous knowing that she wouldn’t be able to embellish much. All she had was a hospital visit from which to draw any more details.

“Well, I’m glad you’re having fun, dear, but be careful. We’ll be there to pick you up at the airport tomorrow night.”

“That’s just it, Mom.” She had to come up with something fast. “My new friends have invited me to stay a while, and I’m going to take them up on it.”

“You’re what? What do you mean? Phillip, Emily says she’s not coming home right away.”

Crap. Now her father was being drawn into this. He was asking Mom what the heck she meant.

“Mom, this is a great opportunity. I’ve never been outside of Horatio, and I’ll be able to see this part of the United States. I’ll call the library and tell them I’m taking more time off. I’ve got six weeks of vacation saved up. They’ve been bugging me to use up some of the time, so I’m going to.”

“I don’t like this, Emily. What’s gotten into you?” In the background her father said, “Tell her she’s coming home!”

“Mom, I’m twenty-eight and it’s time I branched out a little. I may never get the chance to do this again. I’ll be fine, I swear.”

“This just isn’t something a young woman should do. You have responsibilities here.”

“I told you the library won’t care.”

“I’m talking about Charles.”

“He’s not my responsibility.”

“He’s your fiancé, Emily. And he’ll want to weigh in on any decisions you’re thinking of making.”

“Mom, I’ve decided. I don’t need his permission.”

“What’s gotten into you, Emily? Are you taking drugs?”

Exasperated, she held back a shriek. “Mom, no. I want to see Las Vegas. I want to extend my vacation. I have the opportunity, and I’m going to take it.” She also wanted to let her face heal before her parents saw it.

“You need to call Charles and explain all this to him. He won’t like it, you know. He’s at his softball tournament today, and he’s already upset that you aren’t there.”

“I know, Mom. Just tell him for me, please. I don’t want to run up more long-distance charges.” It wasn’t about the cost, though she should be worried about that. She just didn’t want to hear him harangue and whine. How could a grown man whine as much as he did when he didn’t get his way?

Betty sighed loudly. “I don’t like this.”

“Mom, you’ve already said that. Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

She hung up and blew out a huge groan of relief. That was over, at least for now. She walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, opened the cabinet, and paused. How many days could she hold them off? If she stayed away too long eventually one of them would come out here. She closed the cabinet a little too hard and the sound ricocheted around her brain like the pros and cons of her decision to come to Vegas. The mugging had been bad, but the freedom she had impulsively acquired, though a little scary, excited her. She was a grown-up and could make her own decisions.

She looked out the window as she drank her water. The pool glimmered in the desert sun, and a green-and-white raft drifted aimlessly on the sparkling water. Her parents would think she was drifting, but she wasn’t. Traveling away from home had been her way of proclaiming her independence. Of course, it had surprised Charles and her parents, so it was natural that her mother would protest and be uncertain about her big decision.

As she reviewed the conversation, she hoped none of her doubt had shown in her voice. The palm trees and mountains were so different from the view out her kitchen window back home.

Hesitantly, she put down the glass. Did she really know what she was doing?

Chapter Ten

“Damn, it’s hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch,” Delilah said to Jane as she poked a fork at a grill full of sizzling hamburger patties and wieners.

The barbeque in Royal’s backyard was now in full swing. Heinrich and Nann, the ones who had visited her the other day, as well as everyone else here, were so kind. They also all seemed to bear the heat like pros. The desert temperature hovered above one hundred and five, but the cold drinks being passed around helped.

It was high noon on Sunday and Jane sat at a patio table under the merciful shade of an umbrella. Her head hurt, but she was happy to be up off the bed in the guest room.

She was wearing some beige shorts and a yellow T-shirt Royal had bought her yesterday. Plus two other new pairs of shorts and some sandals. Jane had packed only pants with her shirts, not realizing how hot Las Vegas would be, and appreciated the gesture.

She would never be able to thank Royal enough.

This barbeque was another of Royal’s thoughtful gestures. Charles wouldn’t dream of having any kind of party just for her. He always assumed she would arrange any social gathering, that is, anything that didn’t revolve around his softball.

Why were women so much more considerate of each other?

Royal was pouring ice into a cooler, and rather than walk away, she took the rest of the bag and began adding ice to her party guests’ glasses. Royal looked her way and suddenly winked. Charles had winked at her once, but then again, he might have gotten dust in his eye from the dugout.

She smiled back at Royal, feeling like a very special person. Music played loudly, and twenty-three people milled about while five others played with a spongy football in the pool. Most everyone came over to see how she was feeling. All of these people she had never met before were introducing themselves and asking about her well-being, which made her feel cared for. She sipped happily on a tall glass of Diet Coke.

This wasn’t anything like the barbeques Jane was used to attending back home. In Oklahoma the word referred to meat slowly cooked over wood smoke at a very low temperature and for a long period of time. The appetizing smells of hickory or oak made it almost impossible to wait patiently for the scrumptious end result. Here, barbequing meant cooking hamburgers and hot dogs over charcoal and serving them when they were black and ready for buns.

But the difference didn’t stop there. Everyone seemed to be single. No families with children, no grandparents sitting about playing gin or bid whist while husbands tended to the smokehouse and women brought out bowls of beans and cornbread.

Royal was pouring more ice into a cooler, and a knot of people stood smoking cigarettes toward the back of the yard. Near her, Delilah and a few people she didn’t know talked about dealing cards. They all spoke with easy familiarity, not only of each other, but apparently of a shared profession. After a few minutes, Delilah hugged another woman affectionately and walked over to sit next to Jane.

“Most people here work at the casinos downtown,” Delilah said, obviously having noticed that Jane was listening to the discussion. “I deal at the Bullion Casino. Been there for nine years.”

“Do you like working there?”

“Sure do. I guess I’m a people person. It’s interesting to talk with folks from all over. I was raised in Texas and decided to leave a long time ago because there wasn’t much for a tall, feisty black woman to do there.”

“I’m from Horatio, Oklahoma. It’s a pretty small town.”

“So you can understand what I mean.”

“I suppose so. But I’d never have guessed you were from Texas, except for a slight accent.”

“Most people look at this dark, elevated woman and think I’m either a basketball player or from Los Angeles. Or both.”

“That’s another place I’d like to see.”

“This your first trip to Sin City?”

Jane nodded. “I won it playing bingo at church.”

“A strange paradox, church and bingo. The sins of gambling right there in the house of the Lord.”

“I never thought of it that way.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, Jane. I went to church all my growing-up days. But we had a preacher whose sermons were so long-winded he could bite through a side of bacon without greasing a gum.”

Jane didn’t really understand what Delilah meant, so she changed the subject. “How did you meet Royal?”

“I came to Las Vegas about ten years ago. Fresh off the bus and scared as shit. I needed money and decided to pawn some jewelry. Went to a couple of places, but it seemed like friendly faces were as scarce as frog fangs. Then I walked into Royal’s shop, and she was the nicest person I’d seen. She helped me out more than anything.”

“I disagree.” Royal walked up and took a seat. “I was the one who needed money. I had just opened the business and was in bad shape. You were one of my first customers and helped me more than I helped you. I’m pretty sure you pawned many more things than you needed to and sent a lot of your co-workers and friends in to lend me a hand. I’ll always be grateful for the boost in my business. You inspired me to help others in return.”

“Now, Jane, that’s not exactly true.” Delilah crossed her long legs. “Royal is one of those blessedly fortunate creatures. Don’t get me wrong, she works her heinie off, but I’m not exaggerating when I say she could sit on a fence and the birds would feed her.”

“Yes, you are exaggerating,” Royal said.

Delilah shook her head. “Her good heart opens up doors that would be closed for most. She sets her sights on something, and she gets it. Hard work and good fortune, that’s what God blessed you with.” Delilah leaned toward Jane. “And she’s cute, too.”

Jane chuckled but Royal blushed.

“Delilah, if you aren’t minding the grill, who’s burning the food?”

“That’s my cue.” Delilah jumped up.

“Don’t let Royal chase you off,” Jane said.

“Oh, she can’t chase me off, honey. But she can appeal to my incredible cooking abilities when she wants to flatter me. You just have to know that when she says things, sometimes she means the opposite.”

Delilah meandered back to the grill and Jane said to Royal, “Is that true?”

Royal pondered the question with a crooked smile. “I suppose it is. Sometimes.”

“So when you tell me my face is looking better, I should worry?”

“Oh, no, not about those kinds of things.” She laughed, and Jane liked the mellow sound that seemed to flow from deep inside her. “At times, like when I’m afraid to admit to certain truths, mostly about myself, I talk about the exact opposite. I hate doing it, and I’m truly working on it, but it can drive people crazy.”

“Certain truths,” Jane wondered out loud. “Like matters of love? Money?”

“Yes. And no. Never about my business. That’s easy to talk about.”

“But love isn’t.”

Royal began to squirm, and Jane guessed she’d prodded too deeply. After all, she hardly knew this woman who had offered her home, and she had obviously made her uncomfortable. Jane immediately regretted her last question because Royal looked so vulnerable. But she really wanted to know something more personal about her. It fascinated her to be with such an independent, vivacious woman. No one in Horatio was that strong and self-assured.

Royal handled things with confidence and Jane knew she could trust her with anything. Plus, she was physically strong and very attractive. Other than actresses in the movies, Jane couldn’t picture anyone else like that.

And Royal had told her she was beautiful. But now, when she had asked her about love, Royal appeared caught unawares and intimately exposed. And that made her even more attractive.

“That’s personal. I’m sorry,” Jane said before Royal could answer.

Royal smiled but also seemed relieved. “Don’t worry. If you hang around my friends long enough, you’re bound to find out all the terrible truths about me.”

Jane could tell that Royal was very special. Generous and funny, she obviously didn’t know how beautiful she was. And the beauty rose from the deepest part of her, just as her laugh did.

“So, what’ll it be,” Royal finally said, “a hamburger or hot dog?”

“A hamburger, but I’ll get it.”

“No, just stay here and relax. I’ll fix you one. Are you ready for another Coke?”

“Yes, please,” Jane said as Royal got up and walked over to Delilah. Strange, she admired Royal so much she seemed to have a huge crush on her.

*

“Man,” Delilah said when Royal walked up behind her, “Jane’s as pretty as a speckled pup.”

“She may be, but what does that have to do with anything?” Royal had already come to the same conclusion but didn’t want to admit it.

“Just sayin’, friend. If you had to shelter a wounded tourist, it might as well be a good-looking one.”

“Two hamburgers, please.”

“And she thinks you’re exceedingly chivalrous, by the way.”

“I’m just helping her out.”

“Well, if those goo-goo eyes are any indication, she’s also glad she got harbored up with a cutie.”

“That’s nonsense. She’s just grateful for my help. She’s said so.” Royal took the plate of hamburgers from Delilah. “Plus, she’s straight, so don’t go scaring her small-town sensibilities with our big-city gayness. She doesn’t know about us.”

“She will eventually. Besides, she seems pretty mature. Just enjoy the ride.”

“Ride? I’ve got a straight woman living in my house, Delilah. She’s a stranger with no money, no way to support herself. She won’t even ask her family for help. I have no idea what to do with her, and she’s engaged to be married, by the way. Why did I get into this in the first place? What’s my freakin’ problem?”

“Oh, that makes sense. When you saw them beating up Jane Doe, you should have stopped and said, ‘By the way, are you straight? Because if you are, I’m not helping you.’”

“That’s not what I mean. I just shouldn’t have offered to let her stay here.”

“What’s the harm? It’s not like she sneaks into the bathroom to watch you shower. But I can’t say that’d be all bad if it happened.”

“Cut it out, Delilah. You’re not helping.” Actually, she was telling the truth, and the truth could be hazardous.

When Royal returned with Jane’s food, Nann was already chatting up a storm with her. An old man at a cheerleading convention couldn’t have leered more than Nann was, and it rankled Royal. She gritted her teeth. What was Nann up to?

“You’ve got nice friends, Royal.” Jane said.

“Hmm.” Royal nodded, handing the plated hamburger and Diet Coke to Jane.

“But you’d know that, wouldn’t you, Jane?” Nann said. “Royal was like a knight in shining armor, I hear.”

The snipped cadence of Nann’s voice suggested she was probably mad at her because she’d ignored Nann every time she flirted.

“She was, actually. They would probably have kept beating me if she and Heinrich hadn’t showed up.”

Jane touched her stitched forehead and Royal’s stomach stiffened in concern. First the muggers and now Nann. She felt like a mother hen whose chick had strayed too close to a coyote. At least that’s how Delilah would have expressed the protectiveness that surged through her. Maybe if she could keep this attitude toward Jane she could avoid noticing how green her eyes were, how blond her hair, how sweet she smelled—

Never taking her eyes off Jane, Nann said, “Royal’s a strong one, she is.”

Royal squinted at Nann, not quite sure what she was up to.

Nann went on. “Jane Doe’s been telling me about her family.”

“Just hick-town stuff, I’m afraid. Nothing like Las Vegas.”

“Las Vegas is hick enough if you know where to look,” Nann said. “There’s a bar we all go to just north of here—”

“Jane, I think it’s time for your meds.” Royal didn’t care that she cut Nann off. She stood and said, “Would you like me to get them?”

“No, thanks. You already do too much. I’ll be right back.”

Nann took full advantage of her absence. “So, you’ve got a straight woman sharing your crib, Royal.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“But you swore off—”

Delilah seemed to suddenly appear and pushed her hip into Nann’s side. “Knock it off. Royal doesn’t need any more stress. Plus, she’s not even sleeping with this one.”

“Geez, I don’t sleep with every straight woman I meet,” Royal said, now a little tired of the subject. Or maybe she didn’t believe her own words. She was glad neither could read her mind.

“No, just the ones who want to get their claws in you,” Nann said. She quickly added, “I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

Delilah slapped her hand on Nann’s shoulder. “She won’t. Don’t you worry your pretty little lesbian mind none.” She grabbed a fistful of Nann’s shirt. “And I just volunteered you to clean up the kitchen.”

Delilah led Nann away, leaving Royal alone for the first time that evening. Royal swirled the beer in a discarded plastic cup. It looked as if Nann had been hitting on Jane. She wasn’t crazy about fending off Nann’s interest in her, but Jane was off-limits.

Royal thought back to how damn cute Jane looked in shorts, and a decadent image of slipping them off her made her catch her breath.

Then the notion of Nann thinking the same thing pissed her off.

Chapter Eleven

Jane walked along the display cases looking at the watches and rings. That morning, she had asked Royal if she could go to the pawn shop with her. After five days, she was going stir-crazy at the house and wanted to get out before she ate the whole tub of Rocky Road ice cream in the freezer. “You have so many great things here.”

“A lot of people need extra cash.”

“How does pawning work?”

“They bring in something of value, and we lend them money against it and give them a certain amount of time to come back and redeem it. They pay back what we initially lent them plus interest. If they don’t redeem the item within the contracted time period, they forfeit ownership, and we’re free to resell the item.”

“So you get to sell things to recoup your initial loan?” When Royal nodded, Jane pointed to a gold ring in the case in front of her. “What about this?”

“This one was pawned for fifty dollars. The gold in the ring, by weight, is worth about a hundred and twenty. The retail value is three hundred. They never came back for it so when someone buys it, we’ll recover the loan amount and make a profit.”

“Can people also sell things to you?”

“Yes. The things on pawn are in storage, waiting for their owners to repay the loans. Everything you see here was either sold to me outright or became available because of the default we talked about.”

Jane nodded slowly, inspecting the electric guitars, artwork, and other items hanging from the walls.

“Royal,” Heinrich said from the front of the shop, “these folks want to pawn this Rolex.”

Royal stepped away as Jane wandered around the shop.

While Royal examined the watch and chatted with the customers, she kept an eye on Jane and her explorations in the back of the store. She stood at the display case that held the handguns, her face still black and blue, but the swelling had gone down considerably. In that moment, bruises or not, loveliness and beauty glowed from her.

Royal wanted her. She wanted to know what the crush of their bodies would feel like. She wanted to steal her breath away and make love to her until she murmured unintelligible things. Things she’d never murmured to Charles.

What was Charles like? Her feeling of protectiveness at the barbeque gave way to envy. As it started to expand in her chest she cursed her visions of Charles with his arms around Jane. Kissing her. And lying on top of her.

“That’s sexy, huh?”

“It’s gross,” Royal said. She looked up at her customer and realized her faux pas. “I’m sorry. This Rolex? It’s really nice, yes.”

*

Jane explored a back door that led to a short hallway. Beyond one open door was an office containing two desks with a laptop and a lot of paperwork. A bookcase was filled with reference manuals on things like sports memorabilia, coins and paper money, antique furniture and collectables, and jewelry guides.

The door across the hall from the office was propped open. The doorknob had a rope around it, tied to a sturdy hook mounted on the wall. Peering in, she could tell that this was where Royal kept the valuables on pawn. Expensive-looking paintings and silverware sets, velvet ring and bracelet cases, and guitars, crystal bowls, and sculptures sat on shelves. The two safes must have held cash or other valuables.

It was odd that the door to the back room was roped open, but Royal obviously knew what she was doing.

At the end of the hall was a metal door. Jane took a few steps toward it, then stopped and stared.

*

Heinrich was peering over Royal’s shoulder as she examined the watch. “Looks real to me.”

“It is,” Royal replied, then addressed the couple. “I can offer you twelve hundred dollars.”

The man, who had his arm around the woman, said, “It’s an eighteen-carat gold and steel Oyster Perpetual Datejust. I looked them up online, and a used one like this goes for four thousand.”

“And you might get that online, sir. But I’m in the resale business so I have to put this in inventory, pay my bills, and wait until someone comes in looking for one like this. I can offer you twelve hundred, and you’ll have the cash in your hands right now.”

The couple whispered to each other, then the woman said, “How about two thousand?”

Two thousand would cut into her profit. At best, someone would offer her three thousand for the watch, and she’d probably unload it.

Royal studied their faces. Whatever story they had to tell that had led them here hadn’t been a fun one. Most of the stories weren’t. Many sales came from desperate people needing that one last stack of dollars to bet at the tables. She hated knowing that she was sometimes feeding an addiction. But in this case, it looked like a run-in with the local economy had played rough-and-tumble with this couple.

“I can go eighteen hundred, but no higher.” She waited while they traded stares, then lifted an eyebrow at each other.

“Okay,” the woman said.

Royal glanced at the rear of the shop. Jane had stopped looking around and was now a few feet from the back door, facing it and standing eerily still.

She turned back to the couple. “That’s great. Heinrich, would you please process their paperwork?”

*

Out there. That was where it happened. Jane gazed at the metal door, imagining what the alley looked like since she hadn’t seen much of it in the dark. Her pulse quickened, and she held her breath as she thought about the men who had accosted her.

“Are you okay?”

Royal’s voice was soothing.

“I was just thinking about…”

She felt a hand on her shoulder. Royal squeezed gently.

“I was so stupid.” She faced Royal.

“How could you know?”

“Walking down dark alleys at night. I should have known.”

“It happened,” she said softly, “but now you’re healing. Please forgive yourself.”

“Did you deliberately take me in through the front door this morning?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because you began to drive around behind the building, then made a U-turn and parked in the front lot.”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d react to seeing...”

Jane nodded. “Thank you.”

“Come on, let’s get a cup of coffee or something.”

“I’d like to go out there.” Jane tilted her head toward the back door.

Royal’s immediate look of concern made Jane want to fall into the protective arms of the strong, benevolent woman who had rescued her. She desired the comfort Royal would willingly give.

But why didn’t she perceive Royal as a caring big sister or mother figure? In fact, she craved this woman in a peculiar way. Had the horror of the beating made her want so badly for Royal to shelter her? Was she just enamored with Royal’s capable handling of her well-being? Or did she merely have a high-school crush? Whatever it was, she yearned to be near her. And as the trauma of her night in the alley faded, her desire to be near Royal increased.

“Are you sure?”

“As long as you come with me.” Jane meant every word.

Lit with late-morning sun, the alley didn’t seem as frightening as she thought it would. It was just an alley, with nondescript buildings on either side of a cement road. Garbage cans and dumpsters lined the buildings, placed between the back doors of the various merchants on the block.

“We’d just closed when we noticed a commotion.” Royal pointed down the alley.

Slowly, Jane and Royal walked toward the place where the beating had occurred.

*

Royal wasn’t sure how Jane would react to being back here so she watched her closely. “What do you remember?”

“Wondering if I was being followed. Hoping this was just a regular shortcut for people. I recall keeping my eyes on the opening of the alley, down there. I just wanted to get to the street where other people or cars would be. Then one of the men said, ‘Hey, lady.’ I’d almost made it to the street, but they caught up to me. One of them said I’d dropped something.”

Royal tightened her lips and shook her head.

“He punched me, but after that, I can’t remember anything else.” Jane suddenly looked so small and scared.

“Come here.” Royal took her in her arms.

She felt her inhale deeply, then let out the air until no sound was coming from her. Jane gripped her tighter and Royal held on, wanting to help wipe those awful memories away so Jane would never again experience the fear and pain those two thugs had inflicted upon her.

Jane began to tremble, and Royal imagined that flashes of that night were flipping through her mind, short edits of bits and pieces of what she could recall. Royal lowered her head close to Jane’s ear. “I’m so sorry.”

Jane shivered once and stopped shaking. She inhaled deeply. “I’m okay. Now it feels more like something I dreamt.”

“I wish I could make it better,” she said.

Jane burrowed her face farther into Royal’s neck. “You have.”

“Let’s get out of here.” Royal pulled back and looked into Jane’s eyes. “Let’s change the scenery.”

Jane’s cheeks glowed crimson from what must have been a mix of fatigue and anxiety, but her eyes seemed to smolder with something else. And feeling Jane’s full body against her, Royal could deduce what that something else was.

If she touched her face, just slightly stroked it, Jane would shudder softly in response. Royal held her breath, longing to reach out, but she wouldn’t.

Before long, the craving to hold Jane would come again, whether Jane needed the embrace or not. It was becoming increasingly hard to distinguish that line between friendship and something more.

Chapter Twelve

Jane went to work with Royal again on Tuesday, where she vacuumed the floor and polished the glass display cases. Of course, she had to make Royal let her do even that much. Afterward, they enjoyed a wonderful halibut dinner in Royal’s backyard. She had marinated the fresh fish with lemon and dill, wrapped it in foil, and grilled it to perfection.

The charcoal in the barbeque stilled glowed orange and gray, and the subdued night sounds came from somewhere in the growing darkness and from under three up-lit palm trees along the back of the yard. The sun had begun to settle over the mountains, making the soft blue light in the pool glimmer with more intensity. The air was still, and the temperature hovered just under ninety degrees.

The cadence of the crickets soothed Jane since their hum was familiar. “Sounds like home.”

“What does?”

“The crickets. One of the few things that’s made me think of Horatio since I got here.”

“What’s it like?”

“Horatio?” Jane chuckled. “They say Horatio, Oklahoma is so small, a night on the town lasts only thirteen minutes.”

“Is it a nice place to live?” Royal was on her third beer but didn’t feel much of a buzz. She glanced at her watch. No wonder. They’d been sitting here over two hours. Heinrich had offered to close the shop. She would have to remember to thank him again.

Jane sipped a Diet Coke. “Yes, I suppose. I don’t have anything to compare it to. The people are nice. But the town isn’t pretty. It’s barren and flat.” She laughed to herself. “The only outstanding place in Horatio is the Mount Catherine Cemetery. People in Horatio have to die to finally enjoy their surroundings on a daily basis. I don’t want to wait till then to be somewhere beautiful.”

“Well, we don’t have many shade trees, but if you think the desert’s beautiful, we sure have a lot of it to enjoy.”

“You have mountains right here. We have to drive a ways to get to any. Even so, they’re not as big as that one.” Jane pointed to the west. “What’s it called?”

“Those are the Spring Mountains. They’re known as a sky island.”

“What’s that?”

“It occurs when a mountain range is isolated by valleys, so an ecosystem on the mountain exists side by side with a completely different ecosystem in the valley. It can be snowing up there in the mountains and hot as hell here in Vegas.”

“It’s beautiful. It actually looks purple.”

The sun had dipped below the range and seemed to explode on the other side. Brilliant orange and cobalt streaks framed the violet and amethyst foothills and peaks that lay to the west.

“Yes. The desert is magnificent at night,” Royal said. “It can go from scorching hot to freezing cold within twenty-four hours, but the desert is always so alive. What must it have been like for all those men building the Hoover Dam in the early 1930s? The conditions were severe, that’s for sure.”

“I can’t imagine living here with no air-conditioning.”

“It took tough people to survive. But this place is overwhelming. In the early mornings the whole landscape is bathed with a rosy tint. And you’re seeing what happens at night. It’s amazing to watch. In the spring, the desert floor explodes with brilliantly colored flowers.”

“You really love the desert.” Jane smiled.

“I do. I’ve never seen such intensity anywhere else. When the heat comes, it blazes through every nook and cranny and you can’t escape its power. When the rain comes, every living thing soaks it up.”

Passion glowed in Royal’s eyes. Jane could listen to her all night. She’d never had such an independent, intelligent friend. The ones at home usually talked about two things, their boyfriends and having children. They were tame and drab, while Royal was as exciting and magnificent as the desert.

“Desert animals have adapted in so many ways,” Royal said. “During the hottest times, desert toads hibernate until the rains come. When the ponds fill up, they emerge and replenish themselves. Even the jackrabbit developed longer ears so their greater number of blood vessels can release and dissipate their body heat better. The desert has forced these changes. But what it gives back is beauty and intensity.”

Like what happened to me, Jane thought, and you’re what I got back. But she said, “It’s like you’re at its mercy.”

“Yes, you’re right. The desert forces us to look at ourselves and change to survive. If the desert can transform into magnificence despite its harshness, we can become anything despite our own challenges.” Royal paused. “You’re looking at me funny.”

“You’re refreshing, that’s all.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know many women who’ve started their own businesses and really lived their own lives. My family told me Las Vegas is full of nothing but crime, but you make it sound so romantic.”

“Your parents aren’t entirely wrong. There’s too much crime here. You know that firsthand.”

“But wonderful people are here, too.”

Royal nodded. “Yes. Vegas was built on unforgiving land under grueling conditions. But it’s survived because of the remarkable people that believed in this place. It was a great gamble to build a city where there’s so little water.”

“The gamble paid off.”

“Many do. You just have to take a chance.” Royal tipped her beer back, then said, “Tell me about your engagement.”

Jane squashed her lips together. How could she answer that question? She had to think about her whole life, the way she had lived it, the way everyone she grew up with did. “Life is pretty much the same back home. Mine has gone the way of my mom’s and my grandmother’s. We graduate from high school, get engaged to our high-school sweetheart, then get married. After that, babies come, the husbands work close by somewhere, and the wives do the housework.”

“Sounds like a Leave it to Beaver kind of world.” Royal held up a hand. “No offense intended. I just mean it sounds safe and steady.”

“Safe, yes, I suppose. But when I got such a strong negative response to my trip here I realized the description is more like safe and rigid.” It was amazing how just a week away from Horatio had made her see things differently. “No one wants to take risks. Everything happens like it always has. They all plan everything important, and the only appropriate surprises come with presents, a cake, and a room full of people jumping out at you.”

“Sometimes you just can’t plan life. Things happen.”

“Like walking alone through a strange alley?”

“Jane, are you still beating yourself up about that?”

“I’m trying to deal with the mistake my family will never let me live down. Royal, they thought it was preposterous that I’d even consider getting on a plane alone. They thought I’d lost my mind.”

“You never know what kind of trouble a single woman might attract.”

Jane detected a sparkle of mischief in Royal’s expression. “Vegas can’t be the sinful, depraved city that my parents think it is. I mean, you’re single, and you don’t seem to get into too much trouble.”

Royal laughed. “What? Like drugs and gangs? No. That’s never been the kind of trouble I find.”

“So, what kind then?”

“Nothing illegal.”

“Trouble with love?” Jane clutched inside. The last time she’d asked something personal, Royal had seemed uncomfortable.

“Well, aren’t you perceptive?”

Jane relaxed. This time, Royal smiled, seeming to be fine. “Just consider me a student of life.” Jane flashed her most authoritative grin. “Are you seeing anyone now?”

“No. That’s the trouble.” Now Royal grinned. “Actually, it’s not. The trouble was with my ex, or my last couple of exes. I’d like to think I’ve transcended that flawed phase of my life.”

“What was wrong? Cheaters? Liars? Bad boys?”

“Cheaters, liars, and bad girls.”

“Girls. You’re a lesbian?”

“I figured you’d probably guessed that by now.”

Jane hadn’t thought about it one way or the other, though her strong feelings about Royal might have been a clue if she’d paid more attention to them. “Yes, I suppose. It was either that or people out West were a lot more affectionate toward each other than they are back home.”

Royal chuckled.

“Since when? I don’t mean since when do you say you’re gay. Since when did you know?”

“I was sixteen. I fell in love with my high-school softball coach.”

“Unrequited love?”

“No. She was eight years older. We started an unbelievable love affair, but one day the principal caught us, and it was all over by the time the next morning’s bell rang. She was gone by then, too.” Royal tapped her nails on the top of the patio table. “I never saw her again.”

“That’s horrible, Royal. I’m so sorry.”

“I lived in Chicago then. My parents tried to ground me for life. They told me I wasn’t gay and took every single thing out of my room, except my bed. I mean I had four walls, carpet, and the bed. We don’t keep in touch very much now. I moved to Las Vegas to get as far away from the winters and the familiar scenery as I could.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I wish it were different, but they disapprove so strongly. And I can’t live under that. When they grounded me, they didn’t want me to have anything to remind me of the gay thing, whatever that meant. They wanted me to suffer my way through this ‘repulsive lesbian phase.’”

“So that was when the love trouble started?”

“Probably. Anyway, as I was saying before, you just can’t plan for things to happen. And you can’t be passive when it comes to who you are and how you see yourself. Yes, those idiots attacked you, but you can take your life back and make it whatever you want. Just like your life in Horatio. Jane, the last place you should be is under someone else’s thumb. People will always have expectations of you, but whose life do you want to live, theirs or yours?”

“Mine. But it’s so confusing. Growing up in Horatio I was the little pissant that walked in line with a million other ants, but I always wanted to turn around and go the other way. It seemed impossible because there were too many ants to try to go up against.”

“Step to the side, Jane. Just step to the side and let them all pass you.” She tapped a finger against Jane’s knee. “Then you’ll be able to see the view in all directions and decide what’s best for this little ant.”

So much had taken place in the last few days. Royal’s acknowledgement of her lesbianism thrilled her, but it also flustered her. Having crushes on friends back home were safe undertakings because the street ran only one way. None of those women would ever even be aware of her feelings and, looking back, they really had been insignificant crushes.

Royal preferred women and lived her life boldly and passionately.

The one-way street Jane was used to had just opened up into a serious expressway, and she was picking up speed.

Chapter Thirteen

Royal opened the shop on Wednesday while Delilah drove Jane to a doctor’s appointment. Royal had made an appointment for her own general practitioner to give Jane a follow-up exam.

Heinrich was in the back of the shop cross-checking the inventory against yesterday’s paperwork. Royal had already completed the following week’s work schedule so she sat on a stool behind the counter. With a rag and cleaner, she polished its glass top and waited for her first customer. Of course, that was a lie. She was actually waiting for Jane to return from the doctor.

She was enjoying time with Jane. Though she would have never asked for such a situation, she didn’t find it the burden she had originally thought it would be.

With her first good look at Jane as she lay unconscious in the hospital bed, she assumed this was someone else’s problem. But Jane hadn’t been an imposition. Royal had done the right thing by helping her. She laughed out loud, surprised how wrong she had been in her reluctance to take Jane in. Having company at home was a pleasant change from her live-to-work lifestyle. And, Royal thought with a smile, she’s pretty hot.

Jane was beautiful and had a sexy body, but the way she moved and talked were also appealing, as was the way she looked at her when she was listening. Even watching Jane walk into a room sent the kind of jolt of excitement through Royal that she hadn’t experienced in a long while. She should be the perfect hostess, but she couldn’t help but react to the sexy woman sharing her house. Lately she’d been conjuring up all sorts of wicked images of Jane in erotic positions. It had been a while since her mind had gone rogue, and she chuckled in amusement.

“What’s so funny?”

Royal hadn’t heard Jane come in the front door.

“Nothing.” Royal quickly tucked her fantasies away. “Where’s Delilah?’

“She needed to go home and take a nap before her shift tonight. By the way, she invited us to come by the casino. She wants to teach me blackjack.”

“She’s a good instructor. People love her.”

“I can see why.” Jane rounded the counter and sat on a stool next to Royal. “Would you like to go?”

“Sure.” Royal did. Probably more than she should because she reacted as eagerly as if Jane was asking her out on a date. With the feelings and thoughts about Jane’s body that she’d been allowing herself, she really needed to cool her jets. “You got your stitches out.”

Jane touched her face.

“What did the doctor say?”

“That I’m doing fine, though I’ll probably have a scar.” She pointed to her forehead. “But everything else will heal. No further damage. She said I obviously had an excellent caregiver.”

“I’m no Florence Nightingale, but I’m glad you’re doing well.”

Jane touched Royal’s arm. “You’ve been an angel.”

Royal’s face grew warm and she cursed her reaction to Jane’s touch. Jane certainly didn’t mean anything. She was merely grateful. And she was straight, and very engaged, damn it. Nevertheless, Royal’s disobedient clit twitched, disloyal in its unmannerly display of desire.

“The doctor also said I could return to normal activities.” Jane laughed. “I wonder what that means?”

“Anything you want.”

When Jane closed her eyes she looked so young, yet so damn sexy. Why couldn’t she control the erotic notions that popped into her head just about every other moment? Jane was trying to have a normal conversation, and all Royal could do was bend her words toward suggestive romps.

The one woman who had come along and finally revved her engine was not gay and didn’t need anyone taking advantage of her delicate emotional state. “I want...” Jane opened her eyes. “I want to bring home some bacon.”

“You want to work?”

“Yes. In all the commotion, I never got to cancel the flight before the departure. With what they charge to rebook it, I have fifty dollars credit on the unused portion, and I refuse to ask my family for the rest of the money to get home.”

How much time would it take Jane to earn a plane ticket back to Oklahoma? Not that she minded Jane staying longer. She just needed to keep her emotions in check. Jane unquestionably sparked her interest. The thought of her staying a lot longer exhilarated Royal, but Jane would inevitably return home to her fiancé and the wedding.

She could be flirting with disaster. She didn’t have a gambling problem, but Jane lived in the same place where that compelling gut feeling about the next bet thrived. Royal was drawn to her like a dice roller was to a felt-lined table. Her attraction to Jane was just as strong a pull as having an inside tip on a fiery thoroughbred at the track. She couldn’t resist the lure.

Shit. If she couldn’t get a handle on her emotions, they could overpower her. And that wouldn’t be anyone’s fault but her own.

Jane was looking at some cufflinks in a display case. “A tiny little ace and a jack of spades. These are cute.”

Royal tried to corral her inner demons. “Blackjack. The game of mathematical probabilities.”

“It’ll be fun to go with you.”

“I can leave when Pauly and Tess come in at three. Delilah’s shift starts at six. We could have some dinner and go to the Bullion after.”

“That’d be great.”

Her calm reaction belied the hidden excitement she felt at the opportunity to go out with Jane. It was one thing to be around the house, watching TV and talking out by the pool, but to be able to show her around, open doors for her, and gamble the night away made Royal elated and eager to please her.

*

Jane got the knack of blackjack right away. She played the minimum bet allowed at Delilah’s table and was up about sixty dollars in the first half hour. It was early in the evening, and since it was also Wednesday, not many people were in the casino. It would get much busier later, but for now, one or two people came and went from the seats on both sides of Royal and Jane.

Delilah was dealing a two-deck game, holding the cards in her hand rather than in the shoe used for games with six decks of cards. She was three-quarters of the way through the stack.

“She has a ten,” Royal told Jane as Delilah dealt herself a queen. “She’s gonna check now to see if she has an ace for a blackjack.”

Jane had an ace and a six of hearts for a total of seventeen. Before Delilah could check her hole card, Jane said, “She doesn’t have a blackjack.”

“I don’t?” Delilah said.

Jane tapped her cards. “This is the last ace.”

“Is it?” Royal said.

Jane nodded. “And only five ten-cards are left. So I doubt she even has a ten under there.”

“Sure.” Royal smiled. “So there must be thirty spade cards left, too.”

Jane frowned, clearly not understanding that Royal was joking. “Actually, two complete decks of cards have only twenty-six spades total. But in this case,” she nodded toward Delilah’s card-holding hand, “only five spade cards are left.”

“How do you—”

Delilah quickly shushed Royal, who stopped talking, confused. Delilah tilted her head at Royal, her eyes bulging in warning. It suddenly registered, and Royal fought the urge to open her mouth and say, “Oh, shit.”

“Lordy,” Delilah said.

Royal remained quiet while Jane signaled that she would hold at seventeen.

Delilah flipped her hole card over and it was a five.

Jane nodded. “More sevens, eights, and nines are left than anything else. She’ll bust.”

Royal stared at Jane.

Since Delilah’s cards totaled only fifteen, house rules dictated that she had to take another card, and when she turned it over, it was a seven. At twenty-two, Delilah busted and paid Jane for her win.

“Hey,” Royal stood and said, “Jane, let’s get going, shall we?”

Jane looked surprised, but simply said, “Sure.”

Delilah said hello to an older woman who had just sat at the table. “Yes, you two run along and have fun.”

Jane picked up her stack of chips and Royal showed her the cashier so she could change them into money.

*

“Sit down.” Royal pointed to the couch after they came in the front door.

Jane sat, puzzled at the request, especially since Royal had just disappeared into the kitchen without another word.

Royal returned with a deck of cards. Sitting next to her, she pulled the coffee table closer. “Okay. I’ll turn these cards over one by one,” Royal said as she shuffled the deck, “and I want you to count the number of cards and, at the same time, count the diamonds as well. Can you do that?”

Royal’s eyes were sparkling so much that Jane couldn’t say no. Truthfully, saying no to anything Royal asked was becoming increasingly hard. What was going on? “Okay.”

Jane watched the cards that Royal flipped over fairly quickly. One, two, three, one, five, two, three, eight...

Royal suddenly stopped. “How many cards did I turn over?”

“Thirty-one.”

“How many diamonds?”

“Nine.”

Royal shuffled through the cards, counting twice. When she finished, she looked up at Jane. “Correct.”

Jane almost giggled at Royal’s astonished look. She took the cards from her. “Here. Do it for me.”

Jane shuffled the cards, then dealt them to Royal. When she got to fifteen cards and six diamonds, Royal put both hands over hers and shook her head. “I lost track of both. How do you do that?”

Jane wasn’t sure what to say. “It’s just a hobby.”

“Incredible. Just don’t do that in the casinos again.”

“Why?”

“It’s illegal. At least, the casinos won’t let you.”

Jane snickered. “But how do they know what I’m thinking?”

“They can tell when people are counting cards by watching their betting pattern. Toward the end of a dealing cycle, the pit bosses check to see when someone suddenly places different-sized bets.”

“Why is it illegal?”

“Two reasons, actually. Nevada law says it’s illegal to gain an advantage over another player. In this case, the casino is the other player. Card counting allows you to guess better when certain cards are coming up and either bet heavy or light accordingly, and you can win more that way. Casinos don’t like that.”

“What’s the other reason?”

“Casinos are Nevada’s number-one tax provider. And those that pay the most make the rules.”

“I feel bad. I hope I didn’t get Delilah into trouble.”

“Not at all. Besides, you didn’t know. And you weren’t changing your bet amount.” Royal smiled. “I’ve never met a card counter.”

“I didn’t even know there was a name for it. I just like to count things. I do it playing bingo, but I also count while driving on long trips or while I read. It’s fun to keep track of the number of ‘ands’ and ‘its.’ I suppose that sounds silly.”

“No. Really, that’s remarkable.”

Jane shrugged but she was thrilled. She could have grown old in Oklahoma and never known she had a special talent. What other things had she not yet discovered about herself?

*

On Thursday, Delilah stopped by Lucky Pawn Shop.

As she strolled over to Royal, who sat on a stool behind a jewelry case, she called, “Hello, Heinrich. How’s my favorite debonair German man?”

Heinrich waved from the back of the store. “Good. How’s my favorite black Texas lady?”

“Sometimes brazen, definitely brave, and always blissful. Hey, Royal.” She rested a hand on the counter in front of Royal. “Any Rolexes come in yet?”

“Only men’s sizes.”

“I guess men have a harder time managing finances than women.”

Royal chuckled. “Probably. So what brings you by?”

“Had some time and missed my best friend. Plus, I wanted to find out what happened after you took Jane home from the casino last night.”

“I explained the gravity of getting caught counting cards.”

“So she’s a true card counter?”

Royal nodded. “I tested her, just to be sure. Remarkable command of a deck.”

“She commanded two of them at the table last night.”

“With nary a furrowed brow.”

“She didn’t know she was doing it, though, did she?”

“Not really. I mean, she likes to count things, but she didn’t know how it plays out in a casino.”

“Speaking of playing, how are things going with you two?”

“We’re having a great time. She’s really amazing.”

“Have you kissed her yet?”

“Delilah! Geez, why are you going there?”

“Because I know that if you haven’t, you’ve at least thought about it.”

“She’s not the least bit gay, Delilah.”

“How do you know?”

“How do I know?” Royal said, exasperation rising in her throat. “She’s got a frickin’  boyfriend.”

“I had one too, many years ago. You never know.”

“Delilah, she’s not gay.”

“You can’t tell how deep a well is by measuring the length of the pump handle.”

“And I’m supposed to know what that means?”

“You’re acting as sharp as a mashed potato. And you damn well know what that means.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been listening to you for ten years. So try this one on for size. She’s straighter than a fast trip to the outhouse.”

Delilah laughed so loud she startled Royal. “I said that back when you met Rita. You do listen.”

Annoyed, Royal groaned. Delilah was too close to the truth.

After she left, Royal spent the rest of the evening thinking about just what she shouldn’t. It wouldn’t do her any good to imagine what Jane’s lips would feel like or if she would be a gentle or wild kisser, but damned if she couldn’t erase such alluring speculations.

“Stop,” she finally said aloud. “You’re being ridiculous!”

“I wasn’t doing anything.” She turned to see Heinrich staring at her.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t talking to you.”

“An imaginary friend, maybe?”

“They’d be a lot less dangerous.”

Chapter Fourteen

“What’s wrong?”

Jane had been determined to stop crying before Royal got home, but she’d lost track of time and was so deep in her despair she hadn’t heard the door open.

Royal moved toward the couch with such speed that Jane jumped. Sitting next to her, Royal said, “What happened? Are you in pain? Is it your head?”

“No, it’s nothing.” She didn’t want to pile any more burdens on Royal, but when she saw the distress in her eyes, she wanted to fall into her arms and weep her heart out.

“I’m having a pity party. You and your friends are all busy with your careers, free and spontaneous, without any rules or family expectations. And here I sit, waiting for a chance to head home with my tail between my legs so Charles can marry me and take care of everything. I’m a nobody with no career, and the only things I have to look forward to are marriage and stretch marks. I’m a pathetic mess.” She gulped down a hiccup. A tear ran down her face and she swiped at it but hit the newly stitch-removed fresh scar on her cheek instead. “Ouch.”

“Whoa, whoa.” Royal inched closer and put her hand on Jane’s knee. “First of all, you’re not pathetic. You’re sitting here because you’re recovering from a very bad beating. Second, you can do and be anything you want.”

“I have these faint dreams that have remained so cloudy in the back of my mind I’ve never allowed myself to look at them seriously. I’ve never had a real career, which bothers me because my parents have always taken care of me, and now all I plan to do is step from their house into my husband’s house where, again, someone else will do the same thing.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. You can bring those dreams forward. And it shouldn’t matter whether you’re single or married.”

“Oh, things will change all right when I get married.”

“But they don’t have to. Why should you lose who you are and what you want?”

“Because that’s the way it’s always been.” She looked directly into Royal’s eyes. “You don’t know how engrained my family is in the status quo.”

Royal stood up and pulled the car keys out of her pocket. “You’ve been staring at the walls too long.”

“Where are we going?”

“To a place where you can clear your head.”

*

In the waning light of the approaching evening, a red-tailed hawk sat motionless on a telephone pole, obviously scanning the sagebrush for any movement from a small rodent. Royal had pointed it out to Jane when she parked in the day-use lot.

“We’re west of Las Vegas in Floyd Lamb Park at Tule Springs,” Royal told her as they got out of the car. The bright sunlight hurt Jane’s eyes and she scrunched up her face, which made her scar pull painfully. Royal reached back into the car and fished out a pair of sunglasses for her.

Royal’s generosity constantly charmed Jane. Even the small gesture of a pair of sunglasses touched her deeply.

When they had walked along a trail for a little more than fifteen minutes, Royal directed her to a clearing where they could see the large expanse of desert. They sat cross-legged under a cottonwood tree that overlooked the state park, facing each other, their knees almost touching.

Amid the beautiful oasis of wildlife and lush vegetation, Royal pointed out the magnificent views of the Sheep and Spring Mountain Ranges.

“I’m always amazed,” she said, “that we’re less than half an hour from the neon lights and the rest of the cacophony of Nevada’s most populous city.”

“It’s beautiful here. I never pictured Nevada with blue lakes and green banks.” Jane shifted her knee, which bumped into Royal’s. “Sorry,” she said quickly.

Unexpectedly, Royal smiled in a way that felt affectionate, like she not only hadn’t minded but actually liked the contact. Maybe Jane was imagining all that, but the feeling of her smile and especially her knee was wonderful. It was another small gesture that thrilled Jane.

“In the 1940s, a ranchman named Jacob owned this land. Back then, anyone could establish residency in Nevada in six weeks, then get a divorce. He took advantage of that law and built a dude ranch here, hosting people from all over the United States. Now the government owns this area and the natural springs that bubble up from underground, which is why you don’t need to be getting a divorce to enjoy all this.”

“Well, I haven’t even gotten married yet,” Jane said. “And just now I’m wondering why I ever said yes.”

“Why is that?”

She sighed. These thoughts had been bothering her a lot longer than “just now.”

“I feel like I’ve been standing in a long line waiting at a ticket window to go somewhere I’m not sure I even want to. I’m just staring straight ahead, waiting for the line to advance. Then another window opens, but I don’t even notice because this is the line I chose. And who knows? The other line could be offering tickets to someplace I do want to go.”

“But you’re noticing now.”

Jane nodded. “Yes, except I can’t even consider changing lines to find out.”

“Why not?”

“Because this is the line I was meant to stand in.”

“Meant to? Or assumed you were meant to?”

“Is there really a difference?”

“Sure.”

“I don’t know anything else, Royal.”

“Do you now know you went to Vegas even though you had pressure not to?”

“Yes.”

“Do you now know you can survive some heavy blows to the head?”

Jane laughed. “Yes.”

“Do you now know you play a mean game of blackjack?”

“Okay, I get it.”

“Did you know you’d do those things a few months ago?”

“No.”

“Then who knows what you’ll do tomorrow?”

“You don’t understand. It’s all laid out for me. The marriage, kids.”

“Do you want those things?”

“I don’t know. No. Kids, maybe. Not right now. But I don’t…” Jane sighed, more frustrated than she’d been in a while. “I don’t know.”

“You’re facing a big change in your life. Marriage is a turning point. And right now I suppose you’re in that limbo between being single and getting married. Maybe you’re just freaking out a little.”

Jane picked up a stick and began to tap it on the grass between them. “Have you ever?”

“Freaked out?”

“About getting married or making a big commitment.”

Royal chuckled. “I’ve certainly freaked out, but not from a relationship commitment.”

“No, I suppose not. They probably come easier to you.” Jane tapped her with the stick.

“Oh, I beg to differ, Jane Doe.” Royal grabbed the stick and held on to the other end. She laughed out loud this time but seemed to quickly clear from her mind whatever had amused her because a slight grimace appeared.

Concerned about the sudden transformation, Jane asked, “What freaked you out, then?”

“When someone I made a commitment to broke it into a million pieces.” Royal hesitated. “My ex. It wasn’t pretty.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Jane, I’m no expert on relationships, but if you’re questioning a decision, that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong one. You might just need to think about it longer.”

“I’ve thought about getting married all my life. And now that it’s here, I’m less than excited.” The slight tug that she felt from Royal on the other end of the stick felt playful yet so very calming.

“Then take some time to find out why. It may be just nerves.”

“I don’t think I have time.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’m already in trouble for staying here. When I get home, my family will put even more pressure on me to walk down the aisle. My mom thinks I stepped off the plane here in Vegas and went bonkers.”

“There’s more to life than doing what people expect. If you’re in doubt or if you need a little more time, you should take it. Explore your own dreams and listen to yourself. I would never have gotten anywhere if I’d listened to everyone who told me I couldn’t open a business. I didn’t listen to the ones who tried to tell me what they thought I should do.”

“These foggy dreams are just that, though. Foggy. Sometimes they seem like someone else’s because I can’t quite get them into focus. Maybe I’m afraid to see exactly what they are. If I do, I might have to make huge changes. And that would upset everyone at home.”

Royal pulled her end of the stick until Jane’s hand was resting on Royal’s knee. Royal let go of her end and placed her hand over Jane’s. “Living your own life means that taking risks is the most important thing of all. Sometimes it’s more important than the outcome.”

Royal waved her other hand across the expanse of the desert around them. “Las Vegas exists because of risks. And it’s full of casinos that are there for the risk-taker in all of us. This is the perfect place to ask yourself the questions that are coming up now. Who am I? What do I want? And that’s beautiful because you’re trying new things. You took a risk by coming out here alone. You did that. For you. And you stepped out of your comfort zone. Risking doing something new and even scary was more important than what happened in the alley. I hope that’s what you’ll remember long after your scars heal.”

Right now, Jane would remember Royal’s hand on hers. Having such a strong woman give her so much interest and consideration was incredible. She liked the attention a hundred times more than what she got from Charles. Maybe it was because she was far away from her family. Or maybe just being close to Royal made her feel such unbelievable excitement inside.

She placed her other hand over Royal’s and felt warmed by the smile that washed over this amazing woman’s face.

“You’ll be okay,” Royal said.

“I believe you.” A rush of strong, sexual feelings swept through her. She swore she could feel Royal’s blood pulsing against her hand and almost swayed in its rhythm.

Royal slightly shook her head, then slowly removed her hand from the stick and from Jane.

“What about college?”

“What?” Jane had been concentrating too much on the change in Royal’s expression and on her own rushing emotions to hear her question. Had Royal felt the romantic tenderness when their hands touched? Jane certainly had, and as much as it should have startled her, it didn’t. It felt more natural than breathing.

“What about college?”

Jane shook her head. “For people from Horatio? Not usually in the plans. The guys sometimes go, but they stay local. Only one of my cousins left Horatio, and he went to Oklahoma University. I would have loved to go to college, though.”

“You still can.”

“I’m twenty-eight, Royal. That’s a bit matronly to be lugging around school books, don’t you think?”

“Of course not. What would you major in?”

No one had ever asked Jane that question. All of a sudden, a whole world opened up to her. What would she pick? What options were even offered? She imagined a number of fabulous careers. But as she did, the notion felt more like an impractical fantasy. “I don’t know.”

“Ah, sure you do.” Royal’s face lit up like she had just watched a treasure chest open. “What do you like to do? What professions have you seen that fascinated you?”

“I loved flying out here. Granted, it was my first flight, but I can only imagine how great being a pilot would be.” She thought for a moment. “Architecture. I love how things are built. The houses where I live are mostly boxes, but the places I’ve seen on TV and in magazines—”

“Those are great choices.”

“But it’s a little too late. I couldn’t just run off to college now.” Her heart dropped to her stomach as she grasped the full depth of her words. She shrugged. “That’s the way it is.”

Royal leaned toward Jane, and Jane hoped she would touch her. “Not if you want things to be different. Look at you, you went against the norm and traveled across the country. You broke your own mold.”

“Cashing in on a free trip is hardly the same as going to college.”

Royal smiled. “But it’s a start.”

She was right, it was a start. However, she hadn’t really broken the mold. Maybe just cracked it a little. But now she was ready to smash it into oblivion. The thought scared her a little, especially since it could affect her whole life back home. She’d always dreamt about a future that involved something much bigger than anything she could accomplish in Horatio, but it had always been a fantasy. She never thought she could pursue such a notion, but now she wouldn’t deny herself. She, and no one else, could choose from all these possibilities.

It almost made her dizzy. She could do or be anything she wanted! Or want anything she wanted!

*

They got back to Royal’s house after ten o’clock. Royal had taken Jane to her favorite steakhouse, one she said was so far off the usual tourist path that even the locals sometimes forgot about it. They split a porterhouse topped with wine-laced butter and scrumptious garlic mashed potatoes.

Jane was brushing her teeth when Royal’s home phone rang. Royal answered, then called out to her. She was holding the cordless phone toward her when she met her in the family room.

“It’s for you.”

Jane’s nerves rattled. “I gave my family your number. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course.”

“Hello?”

“What’s going on, Emily?” It was Charles.

“What do you mean? And why are you calling so late?”

“Why are you still out there?”

“I’m taking time for myself, Charles.”

“You were supposed to go on your little trip to Vegas and then come home. Now you’ve disappeared.”

“I haven’t disappeared. I just decided to stay here and think about things.”

“Think about what?” Charles was sounding aggravated.

“My life. I’ve never been out of Horatio, and now that I am, I want to see what other parts of the world are like.”

“Your mother thinks you’re doing drugs or something, and I’m starting to believe her.”

“That’s silly. I’m doing no such thing.”

“So is it a guy, then? Are you seeing someone?” His voice began to shake.

“No, Charles. I’m not seeing anyone. Can’t you understand that I can make my own decisions without having to report back to anyone? This has been good for me.”

He laughed. “Since when is running away a good decision?”

No matter how long they talked, he wouldn’t understand.

“I’m a grown woman, and I’m doing this for myself.”

“How are you spending your time? What are you doing?” His tone had changed to one of defeat tinged with a little whine.

“My friend, Royal, owns a pawn shop in town, and I’m seeing how her business runs. I’m also meeting some really great people who all have different experiences in life.”

“A pawn shop?”

“Yes. And my new friend has built it into a great business.”

“Aren’t pawn shops dangerous places?”

The alleys out back are. “No, not at all.”

“Well, either way, I want you home, Emily.”

“I know you do, but I need to do this.”

“Your mom and dad are worried about you. And I don’t know how long the library will keep your job waiting for you.”

“I’m on vacation, Charles. They know that.”

“Damn it, woman. This isn’t right.” He was mad again.

“Maybe not for you. But it is for me. I’ve got to go now. Tell Mom and Dad I said hi.”

“Don’t you hang up, Emily.”

“I’m hanging up, Charles.”

Jane clicked the Off button on the receiver and handed it back to Royal. Royal didn’t say anything, but walked up to Jane and looked at her with eyebrows raised.

“It was Charles.”

“I got that.”

“He wants me home.”

“What do you want?”

“To stay.”

Royal smiled. “Well, you have an invitation to do that as long as you like.”

“Do you mean it?”

“I’ve seen you struggle, Jane. You want so many things, or at least want to think about them, without anyone telling you that you should or shouldn’t. I’m not sure you’ll be able to have as clear a mind back home so take the time you need here. I admit I’m being a little selfish because,” she paused, then smiled warmly, “because I really like your company.”

Jane so needed the comfort of Royal’s words. The phone call had shaken her, and even though she spoke with conviction, fear and doubt had crept into her with every word Charles spoke.

“Do you think any of this is silly? I mean, do you believe I’m not thinking this through?”

Royal gently grasped her shoulders. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Take time to consider everything you want for your life, whether it’s at home or here or anywhere else. And no, I don’t think it’s silly at all.”

The words got jumbled in her ears. Royal’s mouth was moving and Jane could tell that Royal’s expression meant she was encouraging her, but all she could focus on were her strong hands. She desperately wanted to pull Royal closer and kiss her.

“Jane?”

“Yeah.”

“You drifted away just then.”

“I’m trying to take this all in. It’s a lot to absorb.”

“Well.” Royal dropped her hands and turned toward the kitchen. “I think your bravery during that phone call deserves a toast. Beer or a Coke?”

She had decided to try to find out what life beyond Horatio would offer and she had almost kissed Royal. She would need a lot more courage than the small amount it took to tell Charles to butt out of her business.

“Do you have a little whiskey?”

*

The phone call aside, Royal could sense that Jane had relaxed quite a bit. Maybe the shot of whiskey had helped, because Jane sat quietly on the couch while she cleaned the kitchen.

She had enjoyed listening to Jane when they were talking at the state park. She had wanted to debate Jane’s belief that she deserved a mundane life, to beseech and rail until Jane accepted the truth that she was wonderful and special and could have anything she desired. But she needed to wake her as a child needs to be awoken, slowly and gently.

When Jane tugged on Royal’s sleeve to sit on the couch with her and watch an old movie on television, Royal happily agreed. When Jane started to get sleepy, Royal lifted her arm so she could nestle into her side.

As natural as it felt to put her arm around Jane, she needed to be careful. Earlier at the park, the undeniable spark inside her when they both held onto the stick was a warning. It hadn’t been wise to pull the stick close and take Jane’s hand. She could have rationalized that she was encouraging a woman who was doubting herself, but that wasn’t completely true. She could justify a friendly arm around Jane, offering her a place to lay her head, but she knew exactly what she was doing at the park and right here on the couch. And she’d done it for the same reason in both cases.

She wanted Jane. She wanted to be close to her. She wanted to feel her body and hope that Jane would return the desire. Her feelings were overpowering her judgment because the desire to touch her was stronger than anything she’d ever felt.

But wanting her so much would only lead to heartache. Fantasizing about an engaged woman was just plain stupid.

Jane seemed to be okay with their closeness, but it was much easier for her. She wasn’t gay and her mind wasn’t visiting the places that got her wet and drove her senseless.

This had to be the last time she went with her feelings. Having her arm around Jane wouldn’t satisfy her craving. If she didn’t stop this now, she would want more and more until they took off their clothes. Her thighs clenched at the thought of their clothes falling off, and she shifted awkwardly on the couch as her clit jolted in response to the image of Jane naked. Her body was obviously demanding attention and action, but this time her brain had to win out. The organ between her ears knew the danger that the organ between her thighs could care less about.

That’s why she waited until Jane was asleep to carefully slide her arm from Jane’s warm body, quietly pull the blanket over her, and reluctantly creep off to her own bed.

Chapter Fifteen

“We’re going up pretty high,” Jane said as the elevator ascended 108 stories to the top of the landmark Stratosphere Tower. Royal had asked Jane if she’d like to meet Delilah and someone named Allison there.

“Yeah… We don’t have to mention the ascent, okay?”

“Are you afraid of heights?”

“No, I just”—the elevator jiggled suddenly, and Royal grabbed Jane’s shirt—“don’t like small spaces.”

Jane clasped Royal’s hand and held it until the door opened.

Royal practically leapt out of the elevator, as if the floor was suddenly charged with high voltage. “Aaahhggghhh,” she said. “I hate those things.”

At first all Jane could see out the windows was blue sky. “Where are we?”

“The Air Bar, the highest bar in Las Vegas.”

“It looks like the highest bar in the United States.”

“There aren’t any other tall buildings nearby so it just looks that way.”

“The highest point in Horatio is my uncle’s grain elevator.”

Royal led her to a table by the window where Delilah and another woman were sitting.

“Jane, this is Allison. Allison, meet Jane,” Royal said, and the brown-haired, brown-eyed woman offered her hand. Jane took it, feeling a sturdy grasp, and barely got out a “Nice to meet you” before the full view from the large picture windows they were right next to stole her breath.

“Oh, my gosh.” She sat down next to Royal and turned to Delilah and Allison. “I apologize, I’m just astounded.”

“I still get that way every time I come up here,” Allison said.

Royal let go of her hand and put a napkin in her lap. “What would you like?”

Jane had never held a woman’s hand that long. She’d joined hands briefly with friends when they were celebrating some happy news or to tug them in another direction, but this was nothing like that. At first, Royal had reached out to her in fear and Jane had willingly accepted her grasp. Then, Royal held on after they had exited the elevator, and they had walked across the room, hand in hand, like they were lovers. That had been so exciting! She wanted to hold Royal’s hand again. She wanted Royal to touch her again. And now, as if she could read her mind, Royal said, “What would you like?”

Jane’s feelings were now dictating the simplest brain functions. A straightforward and innocent question like Royal had asked went in her ear and cavorted around until it morphed into a sexual offer. What would she like? She’d like for Royal to hold her. She’d like to taste the sweat on Royal’s neck. “Red wine, please?”

Royal asked the same question of Delilah and Allison, then got up to go to the bar.

Delilah patted Jane’s hand. “How are you feeling today, Jane?”

“Much better, thank you.”

“I heard about your mugging. I’m so sorry.” Allison scrunched up her face.

“I guess it’s the story of a small-town girl who goes to the big city.”

“It could happen to anyone.”

Jane nodded. “But I doubt many have an angel come to their aid.”

“Royal is an angel, truly,” Delilah said. “But you’re a strong woman yourself. You got kicked around pretty good.”

“How horrible,” Allison said. “Do you remember much?”

“No, not really. The last thing I can recall was turning around to face them. Then I woke up in the hospital.”

“Really?”

“I had no idea where I was. I thought Royal was the doctor.” She laughed. “Which made me think all Nevada doctors are cool because they wear jeans and boots.”

Royal returned to the table with four drinks. “Who wears jeans and boots?”

She handed them out as Delilah said, “You. I bet those were the same boots that kicked those thugs’ asses, too.”

“Let’s don’t dwell on that. It’s not good press for Vegas tourism.”

“You’re a hero,” Allison said. “That’s sexy.”

“Well, you’re a diamond cutter, and that’s sexy.” Royal obviously didn’t like to be in the limelight.

“It sure is,” Delilah said.

Jane was intrigued. “A diamond cutter? That’s really interesting.”

Delilah nodded. “Did you know that what she does is just as much a science as it is an art? She takes these rough stones and creates expensive, faceted gems from them. She uses three-dimensional computer pictures of the diamonds before she cuts them.”

Royal sipped from her beer. “Doesn’t that make you nervous? What if your hand shook at the wrong moment?”

“So much goes into planning the cuts that the actual cutting is a small part of the work. Plus, I don’t drink coffee.”

As they talked, Royal placed her arm on the back of Jane’s chair. She could feel Royal’s hand touching her shoulder and almost leaned into her, hoping to be held.

While Allison described her job, Royal moved forward and her solid, hard bicep brushed against Jane’s back. Royal was probably unaware that her muscle had flexed, but Jane concentrated on the feeling and began to imagine Royal’s arms surrounding her. She knew she would feel hard muscles under soft skin, and the sensation of protection provoked a strangely exotic desire inside her. The table conversation became fuzzy with odd words like “cleaving,” “bruting,” and “weight retention” breaking through her musings. She fought the urge to close her eyes by taking a sip of wine. How unlike her for such a slight provocation to make her daydream so suddenly. But it felt good.

The first time she saw Royal, even with all the confusion and pain, she knew she was a kind woman who had gone out of her way to help. And as she got to know her, she realized just how amazing she was.

Nothing ever seemed to frighten her, except the elevator, but that just made her seem human. Nothing could stand in her way. Jane had never known a woman so independent and awe-inspiring.

No wonder every time Royal got close to her, Jane was ultra-sensitive and her breathing accelerated. The last time she felt that way hadn’t been with Charles. It hadn’t even been with the boy she’d dated before Charles. It had been with Elena, her tenth-grade best friend. She’d felt light-headed when Elena would lie next to her during sleepovers. Elena had been the one she’d imagined sitting next to her at the cinema when her first boyfriend reached into her blouse and snuck a cool hand underneath her bra.

Elena was fantastic, secure in her skin and not afraid to speak her mind, like Royal. Jane had loved that about her.

Did Charles have those qualities? He certainly had confidence, but it was more like smug swaggering. He was definitely outspoken, which usually irritated her like a bent-backward fingernail.

Her feelings for Royal, however, reminded her of her feelings for Elena. She’d had a mad high-school crush on her, but was it possible to have a crush on an adult girlfriend? The same awe and admiration flowed through her just like it had many years ago.

But that was silly. She and Elena had been sixteen. She was twenty-eight now, and Royal was six years older than that. It wasn’t the same.

Jane looked out the window over the vastness of the desert. It certainly wasn’t the same. With Elena, Jane had bubbled with the excitement of being next to her. With Royal, she wanted the kind of intimacy that crashed into her gut with intense vulnerability.

She turned to Royal, studying her profile. Her nose had a perfect dip, and her beautiful lips and jawline resembled those of Nike, the goddess of strength. Or maybe it was Nyx, the goddess of the night. Either way, if Royal had been born in ancient times, she would easily fit into that elite group.

Royal suddenly turned and smiled at her. “Are you getting hungry?

“A little.”

Royal ordered an appetizer that Jane had never heard of. When the dish came, it looked similar to salsa but tasted completely different.

“Wow,” Jane said after savoring the dipped tortilla chip. “What is this?”

“A taste of the desert. It’s made with cactus chiles, called nopales, mixed with some serrano chiles and cilantro.”

“There’s also garlic in this. Whooo,” Delilah said.

“I wonder,” Allison said, “who was the first person to see a cactus and gamble on the possibility they could eat it.”

“A hungry one, I suspect,” Delilah said.

Jane agreed. “It’s amazing that anyone would ever cross a barren desert that many years ago and think, ‘Well, this would be a nice place to live.’”

“True visionaries would,” Delilah said.

Royal dipped another chip. “I can only imagine that most saw the desert as a wasteland, full of inhospitality and death, but others, the ones with passion, envisioned it as paradise bursting with opportunity. Imagine Bugsy Siegel, in the early 1940s, holding a handful of dry dirt in his hands and visualizing an oasis.”

The passion in Royal’s expression warmed a path from Jane’s stomach to her chest. Royal was such a remarkable woman, full of zeal and conviction. “Carving out a place of chance and fortune was their impossible dream come true.”

“It was a gamble.” Royal smiled enthusiastically. “They reinvented the desert and created a pretty alluring destination.”

“That’d be true,” Delilah said. “And Las Vegas has been constantly reinventing itself ever since.”

“Every decade brings a new face to Vegas.” Royal nudged Jane. “And new faces to Vegas.”

She knew that comment was meant for her. She felt less of a newcomer now and more like the pioneer, like Bugsy Siegel and all the other people who sought something better. And all this was possible because of the woman who’d rescued her. She supposed she even had to give some credit to the thugs who’d jumped her in the alley, for she would never have met Royal otherwise, and it had truly been Royal who’d changed the whole meaning of her trip west.

*

The desert air was still when they got home. Royal went outside with a beer and Jane followed.

“I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” Jane said as they sat by the edge of the lighted pool, dangling their feet in the cool water. Soft blue light, the color of a robin’s egg, shimmered on Royal’s face. She looked beautiful.

“Okay. That’s the last time you’re allowed to thank me.”

“Do you understand how much this has meant to me?”

Royal faced her. “I do. And I’d hope that if the situation was reversed one day, you would help me. So can we leave it at that?”

“You’re kinder than you’ll ever realize.”

When Royal smiled, Jane felt a compassion that almost overwhelmed her. Her throat tightened and tears suddenly welled up.

Royal immediately noticed. “What’s the matter?”

What was the matter? Lately she’d hardly thought about the thugs that hurt her. Being away from home wasn’t bothering her either. Visiting Las Vegas like this was more enjoyable than any vacation she’d ever imagined

Then she knew. It was Royal, and not just their friendship, that made the tears come.

“I’m feeling a lot right now,” Jane told her.

Royal opened her arms and drew her in. She held her so tight that every tingling cell in Jane’s body was energized.

“Just let it out, whatever you’re feeling,” Royal murmured in her ear.

Jane could have stayed there all night, but she wanted something more. She broke the embrace, and when Royal moved farther away, Jane pulled her back by her arms.

The inquisitive look she gave Jane lasted only until Jane reached behind Royal’s neck and pulled her close. It took an eternity for them to touch, but when they did, Jane felt lips so soft they seemed to melt, supple and yielding, around hers. Gently, Jane encouraged Royal’s tongue, and they explored each other in a ballet of discovery.

“Jane.” Royal drew back, her eyes heavy.

“Yes,” Jane replied, surprised that the word came out more like a statement than a question.

“I, ah, wow.” She blew out a breath, then cupped Jane’s cheek.

“The feelings I’m having right now aren’t about my accident. They’re about you.”

“About me?”

“Do you have feelings for me?”

“I…Jane…you’re engaged. To be married. To a man. In Oklahoma.”

The way Royal blurted out each short sentence so abruptly struck Jane as funny. She laughed out loud, but before she could apologize, Royal took her hand and led her to the patio table.

“Jane.” Her words came softly and slowly. “I love spending time with you. I was a little hesitant to bring you home, but as I’ve gotten to know you, I’ve totally enjoyed myself. Your company has been good for me, too.”

This was starting to sound like a Dear Jane letter. She hoped Royal wouldn’t say those horrible words, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

“I’m a lesbian and you’re straight. I mean, I have grown attached to you. I’ve had feelings for you that I’ve been fighting. This attraction seems to be based on a fateful situation that brought us together.”

Jane wasn’t so convinced. “Royal, since I’ve been here, well, mostly since I’ve been away from Oklahoma, I’ve started to question my whole life. You call it fateful, and I agree. Don’t you believe in fate?”

“I believe someone can be around a person who’s different from what they’re used to and see only the fun, exciting things.”

“I have feelings for you.” Could she state it any more clearly? “My first real attraction, a long time ago, was for a woman, and I should have pursued that. It was much more intense than being with Charles.”

“Changing your lifestyle is a pretty big thing, Jane. Especially with your situation.”

“You mean my engagement?”

“Yes.”

“Well, now’s the time to question things. Better now than after the wedding.”

Jane was dying to kiss Royal again, to make her believe that her attraction was more real than anything she’d ever felt. “Maybe I’m gay.”

Royal just blinked.

Jane took Royal’s hand and heard her sigh. She could swear Royal’s reaction was more romantic than unwilling. “Weren’t you the one who told me I could do anything I want? Be anything I want?”

Royal smiled. “I did. Listen, Jane, if you want to pursue your feelings for women, let me be your friend. Let me support you.”

“But what about that kiss? Did you feel anything?”

Royal closed her eyes. “Yes. I could easily…” She opened her eyes slowly. “I can’t go there, Jane.” She tightened her grip. “But I can be here for you. I’m your biggest fan.”

She didn’t want a fan. She wanted to run with the sensations that were cascading through her like an avalanche. When she was close to Royal, everything else in her life faded to a blurry background. “I’ve felt more for you recently than I’ve ever felt for Charles.”

Royal held her chin, and Jane dropped her head, resting its weight in the hand of the strongest, most astounding woman she’d ever known. Please reconsider, she prayed.

“I just can’t be with you that way, Jane.”

“That’s it, then?” Jane’s throat constricted and her words lost strength. “We just pretend this never happened?”

“No. I’ll never pretend it didn’t happen. I’ll never deny my feelings for you. It just…it’s really hard to explain.” For the next few minutes, the only thing between them was the calm of the desert night and many unspoken words. Finally, Royal stood and held out her hand. “It’s late.”

Jane allowed the connection between them, though she really wanted to simultaneously slap Royal’s hand away or grab it and jerk some sense into her.

Something was definitely holding Royal back. Maybe she really didn’t feel the same way and was trying to be as gentle as possible. That would certainly make sense. Always the kind protector.

*

On her way to bed that night, Royal saw the light under Jane’s door. The crisp sound of a page turning indicated that Jane was probably lying in bed. Lying in bed. The thought was dangerous. It had advanced to an even more dangerous level earlier that night.

The kiss had floored her. The touch of Jane’s tongue fired a rocket from Royal’s brain to her ribs, detonating into a thousand white-hot shrapnel pieces that still blazed inside her. The kiss had confirmed the unbelievable intensity she’d imagined the kiss would ignite, but it also substantiated her predicament.

How could she even think about pursuing this? It was crazy.

She stood outside Jane’s door and flicked a finger in the air for each reason.

She’s straight.

She’s engaged.

She lives in another state.

We barely know each other.

And, oh yeah, she’s straight.

But was she straight? Jane had just questioned her sexual orientation. Surely, that was natural for some, no matter what age. Not everyone jumped out of the closet at sixteen, knowing exactly what she wanted, like Royal had.

Maybe Jane just needed the right environment to gain this perspective, one that she might never obtain in Horatio, Oklahoma.

Perhaps the kiss, not to mention her lesbian deliberation, really was bona fide, not just the result of an impulsive flight to the land of caught-up-in-the-moment.

Another page turned, then the deep intake of a sigh.

Royal touched a finger to her lips. That kiss. Now that Jane had at least expressed her feelings and announced the likelihood of a new sexuality, she might be on the path to a more satisfying love life. Maybe Royal had served as a catalyst for Jane’s decision. Maybe Jane just needed a kiss to start the ball rolling.

That might be good for Jane. It just happened to be disastrous for Royal.

Chapter Sixteen

“It’s been a while since you and Rita split. When are you planning to date again?”

Royal looked up from her paperwork and eyed Heinrich with surprise. He rarely talked about her ex-girlfriends. Especially the last one. He understood that Rita’s return to the heterosexual world had devastated Royal, and his fatherly demeanor had taken over.

“Ah.” She dismissed the notion like it was just one more stain in an already discolored carpet. “Dating may be overrated.”

Heinrich shook his head, his expression a little too pitiable for Royal.

“What?” she said, more annoyed with herself than Heinrich.

“I worry about you, Royal.” He patted her hand, then walked toward the back room.

Even though he was less than twenty feet away, the shop suddenly seemed emptier. She shook her head. Even her single friends worried about her solitude.

She was lonely. And after the kiss with Jane, she felt even lonelier.

The other night had foretold what making love to Jane could be like. After experiencing the intensity of that simple kiss, she would need only a slight push to send her soaring into her accidental roommate.

Making love to Jane. If she hadn’t learned her lesson with Rita, she might consider it, but she couldn’t now. She’d risked her heart by falling in love with a couple of women who had ended up “playing” the gay lifestyle for a while, only to return to men and shatter her with their infidelity and lies.

She wished Jane wasn’t straight because she had everything Royal could want. She was beautiful and kind, and a dream to spend time with no matter what they were doing.

But Royal just couldn’t start something with her. Straight women led to nothing but heartache.

She felt especially lonely because she had to resist falling into those sexy eyes and killer smile. After telling Jane she couldn’t be with her that way, she had to stay resolute. But she knew damn well what she was denying herself.

*

Jane was happy to hear the back door open. A grocery bag rustled, and she walked into the kitchen to help.

“Nann!” Startled, Jane threw her hand up to her chest.

“Hey. I’m here for the barbeque. Is Royal home yet?”

“No. And she didn’t mention a barbeque.”

Nann moved past her, but not before stroking Jane’s cheek with two fingers. “Well, she’s not used to having someone to answer to, I suppose.”

Jane frowned as Nann pulled a six-pack of beer from the bag. “She doesn’t answer to me.”

“You sure about that?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve got a cozy little arrangement here.”

“Do you mean the arrangement Royal has so generously offered since the mugging?” Why did Jane suddenly want to ball her fists up?

Nann yanked a bottle out of the six-pack. “Royal’s generous that way. Sometimes it gets her into trouble.”

“Well, I don’t intend to wear out my welcome, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”

Royal came through the back door and smiled at both of them.

“Either way,” Nann spun around and twisted the cap off her bottle, “we’re having a party!”

Royal took a step closer to Jane. “I forgot to tell you. Are you feeling up to a barbeque tonight with some friends?”

“Sure.” Jane tried to smile but didn’t quite succeed.

Royal stepped even closer and touched her face. “Are you okay?”

The back of Royal’s hand was cool against her flushed cheek and a rush of vulnerability washed over her, confusing and frustrating her. “I’m fine. I think I’ll change for the barbeque.”  Jane stepped away.

Nann tapped Royal’s shoulder with a beer. “I’d say it’s started right about now.”

In her bedroom, Jane sat on her bed and took a deep breath, trying to quell the exasperating thoughts racing around her brain. She hadn’t wanted to leave Royal’s touch, but she couldn’t stand Nann’s pompous attitude and less-than-mild insinuations. She hadn’t expected Nann to walk in and was more than disappointed to see it wasn’t Royal. And then Nann seemed to deliberately provoke her with asinine comments. She snatched a magazine from the nightstand. Pissed and embarrassed, she riffled through it rapidly. Who the hell did Nann think she was? Royal didn’t answer to anyone, and she herself wasn’t a demanding person. It angered her that Nann was an arrogant idiot, but why was she embarrassed?

Jane stopped turning the magazine pages.Maybe she was taking too much advantage of Royal’s generosity.She looked at the pillow Royal had gotten for her the first night she arrived, when all she knew was confusion and pain. Royal was paying for her medication and food, too.

Maybe that’s why she’d pulled away after their kiss. And that morning, Royal had made her some breakfast but then hurriedly left for work.

“Stop it.” Royal’s voice came from the kitchen, quiet but sharp.

“It’s a party, isn’t it? Let’s party,” Nann said.

Jane moved to the doorway and bent toward the hushed conversation.

“Please don’t, Nann.”

“You’re just so—”

“Don’t.”

“Come on, Royal.”

“No. Stop it.”

After a pause the refrigerator door opened and closed.

“Jane,” Royal called in a louder voice. “We’re about to start the barbeque. Chicken or hamburger?”

What was going on? “Hamburger, please.”

*

Within an hour, Delilah, Heinrich, and some other friends sat in Royal’s backyard balancing paper plates on their knees and holding half-empty beer bottles. Jane went inside to retrieve a Diet Coke from the refrigerator, and Delilah followed her.

“Whoo, it’s hot enough to burn your brain.” Delilah tore a piece of paper towel off a counter rack. “I swear, every time I stand up outside, my mind sits down.”

“Delilah, may I ask you something?”

“Sure, honey.”

“Does Nann like Royal?”

“Well, there’s a bet I’d risk my last dollar on.”

“So, Nann is gay, too.” Jane was thinking out loud.

Delilah waved her paper towel. “And Delilah is, too, honey.”

“Of course.”

“Of course, what?”

“It makes sense. Nann and Royal are seeing each other.”

“What field did you plow that out of?”

“What?”

“That situation is a one-way street. Royal doesn’t like Nann.”

“I thought that’s why Royal said no to me.”

“No about what?”

“Royal…we kissed. It was so won…” Jane shook her head. No use to relive the excitement. “Anyway, she said she couldn’t pursue anything.”

“Ah, now it’s becoming clear.” Delilah looked out the kitchen window as if searching for Royal. “She’s so thickheaded sometimes.”

They’d touched in some way so many times. Had Royal thought about her in a gay way? Had Royal thought wonderfully inappropriate thoughts about her?

But how stupid her ponderings had become. Royal was mature. She didn’t want to think about a silly girl from Oklahoma who had never been a lesbian, though Jane had certainly been having inappropriate thoughts about Royal, just as she did when she and Elena were young. This time, however, in adult ways. Desirous ways.

Was that because Royal had saved her when she needed it? Was she confusing appreciation with infatuation?

“Well, it doesn’t matter,” she told Delilah. “There’s nothing between us.”

“Are you saying that for my benefit? Or yours?”

“Why do you say that?”

“I’ve heard it before.”

“From whom?”

Delilah hesitated, then pursed her lips. “Rita.”

Royal had told her about her ex when they went to the desert. “Was that the name of her recent girlfriend?”

“Yes.” Delilah looked like she was having second thoughts. “Rita was straight.”

So she’d been with a straight woman. “Is that why Royal’s been acting differently?”

“Don’t mind her moods. I rode through that really rough storm with Royal, and while she came out the other end thoroughly waterlogged, she was still breathing.”

“What happened?”

“She should tell you herself. If she wants to.” Delilah smiled and patted Jane’s shoulder.  “And don’t go taking anything personally. Just remember I said this, Jane Doe. That other woman sure wasn’t you.”

Royal walked in from the backyard carrying a stack of empty plates. “Who are you talking about?”

“Rita, the trollop.”

“She wasn’t a trollop.”

Delilah turned to Jane. “No, I suppose she wasn’t. Actually, she was more like a radio station.”

“Oh, God,” Royal said.

“’Cause anyone can pick her up, especially at night.”

“Delilah Muffington, stop it.”

But Delilah couldn’t resist one last shot as she leaned closer to Jane. “Her ex was just naturally horizontal.”

*

Rain fell in sudden sheets right after the party broke up. It was after ten o’clock, and lightning streaked the sky at erratic intervals, with thunder coming less than a second behind each bolt. The rain pounded down much louder than Jane had ever heard back home, and that was even counting the times she sat in her uncle’s corrugated-metal-roofed barn. It seemed that in the desert, nothing could stop the weather. Sure, the mountains probably blocked certain fronts, but once Mother Nature cleared those peaks and descended on the valley, mortals would be smart to respect her.

Jane opened the kitchen window to allow the full strength of the rain to reverberate inside. It was like a symphony of water, forceful and sure, performing a mighty opus with purpose and conviction.

A while later, the rain stopped suddenly and unexpectedly. It awed her how the daily sun could scorch the desert and the dust choke it, then a brief deluge could renew the earth and just as quickly disappear in clouds of steam.

Invigorated, Jane wanted to get out of the stifling house, so she found Royal lying on her bed, reading a book, and asked if she’d like to take a drive. Royal readily agreed. As they drove with the windows down, the desert air whipped by them, rich with the smell of damp concrete and dirt.

After a while, the paved road turned into a dirt road, and when the road narrowed to one lane, Royal pulled off and parked.

Thankfully, Royal kept the headlights turned on, because if she hadn’t, the jet-black darkness would completely engulf them. The stars did their best to light up the tips of the nearby mountains, but the cosmically charged energy didn’t reach the desert floor.

Jane followed Royal’s lead and climbed onto the hood.

“Better?” Royal said as they lay with their backs against the windshield, two bottles of Powerade beside them.

The full galactic blanket of bright stars was the perfect change of pace from the commotion of the party.

“Yes,” Jane said. “I just needed to get out of the house.”

“Well, this is not only out of the house, but as close to Bum-Fudge Egypt as I could get the car.”

“Is this where the alien spaceship comes down and zaps us onboard?”

“You watch a lot of movies, don’t you?”

Jane laughed. “It could happen.”

The conversation paused for a while. Compared to the uproar in Royal’s backyard, the desert here was virtually noiseless. The only other illumination was a red blinking beacon, from a faraway tower signaling to pilots that a mountain range was close by, and a sky full of stars.

Jane spoke first. “Did you ever consider that one of those little pinpricks of light up there might not be a star but a whole galaxy of stars so far away, we only see one dot?”

“And you wonder why I didn’t buy us anything stronger than a sports drink?”

“I used to marvel about that all the time. What’s out there? How many other worlds and other beings are there? What are they doing? But taking this trip made me realize that I knew just as little about people outside of Oklahoma as about aliens.”

“I’m glad, then, that you didn’t have to travel a few light years away to get a different perspective.”

“How many frequent-flyer miles do you think that’d get me?”

Royal laughed. “Enough for a free round-trip ticket to…I don’t know.” She searched the night sky, then said, “How about Scorpius?”

“Scorpius?”

Royal pointed to a group of stars low on the horizon. “See that J-shaped formation?”

“No.”

Royal tilted her head closer to Jane’s, then pointed again. “There. It looks like a fishhook made up of sixteen or seventeen stars.”

“Right there?” Jane pointed, her head now touching Royal’s.

“Yeah. That’s the constellation Scorpius. And it was the scorpion’s sting that killed Orion.”

“Funny. Orion’s easy to find, but I don’t see it anywhere now.”

“That’s because Orion always sets in the west before Scorpius rises in the east. That way Orion can stay away from that sting for eternity.”

Jane sat up and reached for one of the drinks. “You must know about getting stung.” Royal didn’t answer so Jane took a drink and lay back down. “Rita.”

Royal chuckled. “Ah, I get the connection now.”

“Tell me about her.”

“I fell pretty hard for her. It lasted a couple of years. I took it slow at the beginning, kept asking her if she really was sure about changing her lifestyle. I gave her so much time to figure things out that when she finally told me that she accepted the fact that she was gay, I bought the whole story. But after a while, I found out that she had had her old boyfriend in tow the whole time. Up to that point, I didn’t know a thing. At least not until he had flowers delivered to our house. She obviously hadn’t told him about me. I couldn’t blame him. He came over thinking I was only a roommate, and when I asked her what was going on, she said she was having second thoughts.”

“Oh, Royal, that’s horrible. You must have been crushed.”

She nodded. “I lost ten pounds the first week. Delilah couldn’t get me out of the house. Thank God for Heinrich, who ran the shop. But I eventually got up off my knees and put it all behind me.”

“Did you?”

Royal was quiet for a long moment. Slowly, she took a drink from her bottle and seemed to concentrate on the stars.

“I hope so.”

*

Royal awoke, late that night, to soft, rubbing noises. The light under Jane’s door indicated where the sounds must be coming from.

She got up and knocked on her door. “Jane, are you okay?”

The door opened.

“I’m sorry to have woken you. I was rearranging the clothes in my drawers.”

“It’s a few months past the time for spring cleaning.”

“I couldn’t sleep. I had a bad dream and then I was wide-awake.”

“What did you dream?”

Jane looked embarrassed. “It was just a dream.”

“What was it about, Jane?”

“The alley.”

Royal nodded, wondering how many times Jane’s thoughts had returned to that night.

“I was lying on the ground, but in my dream, I was conscious the whole time. They were kicking me and hitting me over and over. I could smell garbage and urine, and as much as I tried to get up, I couldn’t. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t scream…”

Royal took her hand and led her back to her room.

“The twin bed in the guest room is too small,” she said as she climbed into bed and motioned for Jane to do the same. “Just lie here with me.”

When Jane sighed she hoped the nightmare was fading.

Royal lay faceup, as did Jane. After a while, she gripped Jane’s hand.

Royal knew better than to invite Jane into her bed. Everywhere they touched, their shoulders, their hips, seared like hot desert rocks. But she couldn’t leave her there after such a nightmare; she wanted to comfort her. Now, she guiltily fanned her own arousal with the reality of Jane’s body so close. Royal’s emotions jumbled with her thoughts, wrestling for command of her body, which was on fire.

She was heady with the exquisite arousal their contact caused. Now what was she supposed to do? She could easily make love to Jane, who would be responsive and yielding.

But what about Jane’s questionable sexuality and her impending return to Oklahoma?

Thoughts of making love to Jane made her head spin, but if they just had a short-lived affair before Jane went home, her heart might not be able to take it.

Royal felt Jane move slightly. “Are you okay?”

“Much better, thanks. Are you?” Jane’s soft voice swirled around Royal, making her chest swell with longing.

“Yes. But I never imagined this happening.”

“This?”

“The attack, meeting you.”

“Kissing you.”

Royal nodded. “Yes.”

“And to think, I just came out here to gamble.”

“I have a feeling there’s a lot more than money at stake now.”

After a long silence, Jane said, “I want to make love to you.”

Royal closed her eyes as Jane’s words shot bolts of electricity through her, making the area between her thighs throb and surge. She groaned with frustration because she’d invited this. “For now, Jane, please just lie here next to me.”

Jane turned on her side and put her arm over Royal’s chest, just below her breasts. Royal rested her arm on Jane’s back and stroked her shoulder.

The house was quiet except for their breathing, but Royal could swear her thoughts were screaming out loud.

Here she was again, in the arms of a woman she should keep away from. She had to toe the line at the precipice between being friends and lovers. Truly, she should back way off that line. But she couldn’t deny the intense arousal that had made her wet with agonizing desire. If she simply shifted her thighs, that slight stimulation would drive her to lose herself in Jane’s willing body.

Jane began to rub light circles around Royal’s stomach, and though she assumed the intention was more loving than sexual, her stomach muscles tightened. She tried to control her breathing but it accelerated, resounding in the quiet room.

She even held her breath, but soon gave up.

Jane stopped moving her hand, then slowly sat up. “This probably isn’t a good idea, is it?”

Royal let out her breath. “Uh—”

“If I stay here, I won’t be able to keep from touching you.” She got up and bent over Royal, looking sad and apologetic. “Thank you for being so wonderful to me after my nightmare. Good night.” She kissed her, their lips lingering affectionately, then left Royal’s bedroom.

In the silence that followed, a thunderstorm of regret and tension rumbled within Royal. It increased painfully until she silently screamed with frustration. She shook physically, fiercely aroused yet with no outlet. Desire coursed painfully and endlessly through her body. She’d let her head deny what she wanted, but in her heart she knew how much she yearned for Jane.

Chapter Seventeen

“Let’s go,” Nann was saying to Jane when Royal walked into the kitchen.

Jane had had her nightmare three days ago and they had danced lightly around each other since then, but Jane was obviously thinking about that night as much as she was.

Now Nann was standing in her kitchen looking rather wolfishly at Jane, who was stunning in tailored black pants and a clinging red blouse.

“Where are you off to?”

“I’m taking Jane to her first lesbian bar.”

“What?”

“The Connection. Tuesday nights are two-for-one tequila nights.”

“Nann suggested I see what a gay bar was like. I think it’ll be fun.”

“Get ready for dancing and body shots.”

For fuck’s sake. The sharp jolt in Royal’s stomach made her bend over the counter. She tried to cover by reaching into a lower cabinet, for what, she didn’t know. Christ, what was she doing? Her brain spun in alarm. She grabbed a skillet and dropped it a little too loudly onto the stove. “Well, have fun.”

“Is that okay, Royal?” Jane’s eyes were full of hope and excitement.

“Sure.” It had to be. After all, she was the idiot who encouraged Jane to pursue her sexuality.

“I’m almost ready, Nann. I’ll be right back.”

When Jane left, Royal began to fume. The combination of Nann and cheap drinks was not smart. What the hell was Nann up to? Was she getting back at Royal for not returning her advances? Was she just on to her next conquest? Either way, Nann wouldn’t act well-mannered, nor would she look out for Jane.

Royal stepped closer to her. “You watch her. She’s not as street-smart as you. Do you understand?”

“I’ll watch her all right.”

Royal wanted to smack the smirk off her face, but instead clenched her jaw and stared into the blackened bottom of the empty skillet.

*

The Connection was housed in a small strip mall east of Las Vegas Boulevard. Jane wasn’t sure what to expect. Though it looked like any small bar she’d ever been in, there were no men. Also no loud yelling and not much of the gawking she sometimes encountered when guys were looking for the next pretty thing to walk in.

Nann directed her to the bar, asking, “What would you like?”

The occasional wine and beer she’d consumed since her accident hadn’t made her feel bad so she chanced something stronger. “A margarita, please.”

While Nann talked to the bartender, Jane surveyed the room. Exactly thirty-five women of all types and dress styles. Most looked like locals except for two couples who, based on their dressier outfits, were probably in town for a convention or other business. They all seemed to keep to themselves, some dancing while others stood around small tables.

The bar’s décor looked fairly ordinary except for a rainbow neon beer sign over the bar and lots of other rainbow decorations. Hip-hop music boomed from a DJ booth in the corner, and the few dancers on the diminutive dance floor made it look crowded.

“Here you go, Jane.” Nann handed her a salt-ringed glass and held up both of her two-for-one shot glasses of tequila. “Cheers.”

Jane was a little nervous but fascinated at being in a world previously enigmatic to her. She knew gay bars existed, certainly not when she was in high school and with Elena, but later when she became aware of places for women who liked women. She’d never considered going to one, and Horatio certainly didn’t have any. And while she’d never forgotten her time with Elena, that time was over.

She thought about Royal most of her day now, and when Nann asked her to go out, she wanted to see more of Royal’s world. She just wished Royal had taken her instead. But she was acting strange, and since the kiss, Jane wasn’t sure how much Royal wanted her around.

Royal had said she didn’t intend to be anything more than friends. Certainly, Royal was more careful now, less relaxed when they were together. Had she regretted the kiss? Was she regretting even helping her that first day?

She sipped her drink. What was Royal doing right now?

Nann nudged her with her shoulder. “So what do you think about this place?”

“I like it. It’s very low-key.”

“Well, it’ll pick up in a while.”

Within two hours, the crowd had doubled and Nann was on her sixth drink. She had introduced Jane to a number of women, and Nann had asked Jane to dance to some songs a little sultrier than Jane preferred.

“Come ’ere,” Nann said when one song ended. She took Jane by the hand and led her to a corner of the bar where a small table was covered with beer bottles and empty glasses. “Let’s you and I get to know each other a little better.”

Nann wrapped her arms around Jane and pulled her close, but Jane removed Nann’s arms from her waist, turning her head slightly to avoid the sour smell of too much tequila.

“Wassa matter? You think I’m cute, don’t cha?”

“Nann, slow down, there.”

“I’m tryin’ to show my new friend a good time. After all, you are new to the desert.”

“Is this what you do with all tourists?”

Nann’s eyes were growing into slits. She reached for Jane again. “Come on.” She smiled crookedly. “I wanna show you how the West was won.”

Disgusted, Jane backed out of her grip again. “I don’t think so. Now give me your car keys. The West isn’t gonna be won tonight.”

*

Royal was lying in bed when Jane came down the hall and poked her head in her open door.

“Are you awake?”

“I am.” Royal’s stomach ached from the images that kept playing in her mind. She knew all too well about Nann’s calculating nature. When she wanted something, she usually didn’t consider anyone or anything that might stand in her way.

She almost didn’t want to look at Jane because she had imagined her coming home happily disheveled and more experienced than when she left. But Jane seemed perturbed.

“Nann’s on your couch.”

“Why?”

Jane walked over to Royal’s bed. “She got pretty drunk. I drove her here because I don’t know where she lives. And tomorrow, she’s gonna be the one that cleans up the puke all over her passenger seat.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing really. We danced a little, and I met some of her friends, she drank too much, and then she got a little frisky.”

Royal sat up. “And?” She didn’t want to know, but, in some perverse way, she needed  to substantiate the unnerving visions that kept running through her brain.

Jane sat down on the bed. As Royal adjusted her T-shirt, Jane’s hip came to rest against her blanketed knee.

“And I pushed her away, took her car keys, and we left.”

Relief washed over Royal. “Were you okay to drive?”

“I had one drink. Anyway, I wanted to tell you about Nann so you wouldn’t be startled in the morning.” Jane began to rise from the bed but Royal grabbed her hand. “Wait.”

Jane sat back down, looking beautiful in the light from the hallway. Royal needed to say something, but couldn’t find any words. She truly had no desire to talk; she simply didn’t want her to leave.

“I hope you had a good time.”

“It was okay. It would have been good if you and I had been there instead.”

“I can guarantee there wouldn’t be any puke to clean up.”

Jane laughed, then the room fell silent again.

Jane’s expectant look—she was probably wondering what Royal wanted or whether she should leave—was killing her. As natural as it would feel to draw Jane into her arms, she was immobile with dread.

“Are you hungry? I could make you something.” Royal’s attempt to stall was so obvious, she wanted to flinch.

Jane smiled warmly. “What’s bothering you?”

Royal looked down at her comforter. What should she say? The truth would only get her into real trouble. A lie would be disingenuous.

Jane moved her hand over Royal’s covered knee and squeezed. “Royal, what’s wrong?”

She looked up. “I was worried something would happen between you and Nann. I was afraid Nann would take advantage of you and spin you up emotionally. She’s out for a good time, and if you let her…in…she could hurt you.”

“You mean that scary lesbian would chew this straight girl up?”

She did sound foolish. “Something like that.”

“You are my protector, aren’t you?”

“Jane, if you’re exploring your sexual preference, I don’t want a bad experience to upset you.” Okay, so she hadn’t chickened out entirely since that comment lay somewhere between real trouble and disingenuousness.

“Kissing you wasn’t a bad experience.”

“I’m talking about Nann.”

“I didn’t kiss Nann.”

Royal put her hand over Jane’s. She had no right to feel relieved. Jane was free to do whatever she needed to discover what would make her happy. That included dating Nann and going home to Charles.

But then Jane leaned toward her, her gaze concentrated and powerful, and put her lips upon hers. They kissed deeply and Royal’s judgment and reason vanished.

Royal pulled her closer and Jane moved up on the bed until they could press their chests together, and as her breathing increased, Jane’s breasts swelled against her.

This kiss was more intense than their first. Royal searched Jane with her tongue, connecting deeply to this woman who dominated her thoughts. Jane moaned and Royal’s head spiraled with desire.

Jane held her tight, her heart pounding against Royal’s breast.

When Jane pushed against her, Royal eased backward, and as she lay down, Jane moved one leg over her and straddled her. She grabbed Jane’s knees and held them against her hips as Jane bent over her, kissing her. Her loose blond curls fell around Royal’s face, engulfing her in a deluge of lemongrass and sage shampoo.

Royal had grown instantly wet. Her clit ached to be touched, and her rapidly escalating excitement pounded between her legs. She had almost lost control, but she couldn’t let go completely. Though she mentally chanted slow down and you can’t, she had a difficult time persuading herself to pay attention. The weight of Jane on top of her felt too good.

Jane was pushing her hips into her, and Royal’s own hips rose to meet her. Each time they made contact, the connection was like two magnets meeting. The raw sexuality in her gut almost overwhelmed her.

She cried out, then kissed Jane even harder. Jane reacted with a guttural moan and Royal bucked even harder.

Suddenly Jane grabbed Royal’s hand and thrust it between Jane’s stomach and pants. She reached into the heat that had built up immediately, then slid farther down past her panty line until she fingered the slick wetness between Jane’s legs.

Jane’s head dropped to Royal’s shoulder and her moaning intensified. “Royal. Yes. Please.”

As Royal slowly massaged her, Jane’s hardness seemed to grow and even her outer lips became rigid and engorged.

Lost in Jane’s curly hair, Royal closed her eyes. Her hunger for Jane was spreading from her belly through her heart and down to every fingertip. It was impossible to deny her.

Touching Jane with her fingers wasn’t enough. She needed more. She withdrew her hand and whispered, “Turn over.”

As Jane moved onto her back, Royal straddled her, quickly removing her own T-shirt.  She tugged Jane’s pants off next, along with her panties, as Jane watched her.

Nothing made more sense than to feel Jane in her mouth. She couldn’t hear or see anything else, desiring only to claim the most intimate part of her.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that a slow, easy transition to lovemaking might be more appropriate, but she couldn’t slow down. Her need slammed into her as she lowered herself between Jane’s legs.

But when Jane guided her head down, Royal lost any concern over this impulsive approach.

“Yes,” Jane murmured.

With her mouth, Royal found Jane wetter and hotter than she had with her fingers. Now they both moaned and panted wildly.

When Royal moved her tongue just above Jane’s clit, Jane gripped her harder so she stayed there, swirling soft but thorough circles in cadence with Jane’s moans. She held Jane’s sides, feeling her ribs expand and contract, which felt as intimate as what she was doing with her mouth.

Royal wanted to crawl inside Jane and be devoured by her own need. She didn’t care if she didn’t survive. Devotion and worship flooded her, welling up in her chest until tears moistened her closed eyes.

Jane clutched her wrists, her back arched, and she stopped moaning. Royal kept circling her tongue and mouth, but opened her eyes to watch.

Jane seemed suspended, momentarily motionless, her breathing silent. A slow tremor traveled down her body, increasing from her chest to her legs. Her mouth open, she rapidly panted four times, and suddenly Jane crushed her wrists as she came in a torrent, bucking against her, screaming in release.

When Royal moved back up over Jane’s body, Jane wrapped her arms around her and held her tight, whispering as she tried to catch her breath. “Royal. Ah, Royal.”

Royal continued to breathe heavily, but she managed to gasp, “Oh, my God.”

Chapter Eighteen

Freshly brewed coffee coaxed Jane’s eyes open. She was in Royal’s bed and the morning sun silhouetted Royal’s figure as she held out a mug to her.

“Good morning.” She sat up and took the mug.

Royal smiled. “Good morning.”

“Is Nann still here?”

“No. She woke up when I started making coffee. After she got up she mumbled incoherent things until she found her car keys and left.”

Jane chuckled and took a sip.

“I need to go to work.” Royal said softly.

“Are you okay?”

Royal nodded. “A little blown away. Actually, a lot blown away.”

“Me, too.” She could never have imagined she’d be with another woman, let alone Royal.

After Royal had made love to her, they held each other as Jane kissed her neck and cheeks. It was already three o’clock in the morning, and Royal coaxed her to relax and sleep. Eventually she did, waking up once to Royal’s deep breathing and minute slumber-induced twitches.

“Could I have some time to think about last night?” Royal said.

“Sure.” But did that mean something was wrong? She tried to read Royal’s expression but couldn’t.

Royal started to walk away, then hesitated. She turned back around and kissed Jane tenderly. When their lips parted, her eyes were closed and her mouth had formed a dreamy smile.

With her face so close, Jane could smell her delectably rich coffee breath. “I feel a lot for you.”

Royal opened her eyes. For a long moment, she seemed to be searching for something, though Jane couldn’t tell if the search was from within or without. Then she said, “Me, too.”

Jane spent the better part of the morning cleaning the house. The menial labor kept her busy, but didn’t lessen the numerous memories that replayed in her mind—Royal’s firm hips pushing up into hers, Royal’s skilled, sexy mouth driving her to orgasm, Royal holding her the rest of the night as they slept.

She had never wanted someone as much as she wanted Royal, and that sudden awareness made her stop and sit down on the couch.

Before now, she hadn’t been fully aware of her desire for Royal. It had started as a distant, unidentifiable craving that, little by little, strengthened each time they were together. Now she understood why she’d desired Royal’s company when Nann took her to the bar. Watching the women there kiss and touch each other had brought the yearning that simmered deep in her chest to the surface, and the moment she walked into Royal’s room, it rocketed into her full force. She had to give in before it devoured her from the inside.

Seeing Royal lying in bed, her hair ruffled from the pillow and her eyes dark in the faint light, had further aroused her appetite. The beast inside her howled and destroyed her inhibitions. Her face got hot and her chest throbbed.

She had touched Royal, whose passion awoke. They kissed and Jane quickly needed more. She hesitated for less than a heartbeat before she climbed on top of Royal with the overwhelming need to feel her between her legs.

And the way Royal responded, the way she touched her, then took command, had aroused Jane to an extreme, each touch of Royal’s fingers and tongue stimulating and intensifying until Jane let go, giving Royal everything she could.

Jane took a deep breath, the couch seeming to move in waves beneath her as she recalled the night before. But the couch wasn’t moving. Jane was swaying back and forth from the force of the memory.

She dropped her head to her hands. My God, she thought. She could never have imagined how powerful making love truly was.

Charles and Oklahoma seemed a million miles away. Why didn’t she feel guilty? Because she hadn’t slept with a man? But sex was sex, no matter who it was with. And what Royal did to her, how she made her react, excited her a thousand times more than anything Charles had ever tried.

She should feel a thousand times remorseful.

But she didn’t.

Suddenly she had answers to important questions, but until last night, she hadn’t even known she had questions.

A bit before two o’clock, Delilah came through the back door, wearing her casino dealer outfit. And if it was possible, she looked even taller than normal.

“Jane Doe. How are you?”

She hadn’t seen Delilah since the barbeque. “Fine. Listen, I want to apologize for counting cards the other day. I didn’t get to tell you that at the barbeque but I—”

“Don’t even think about it. I did tell Frank, the third-shift pit boss, about you.”

“Am I in trouble?”

Delilah laughed. “Why, no, little one. I came by to let you know that you have a job at the Bullion if you want it.”

“What?”

“At the casino. I told him about your situation, and he said he could use a card counter to help him spot others.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Can’t say that it’ll pay much, but they’ll train you, Jane. Like, they’ll tell you to watch for players who play in a businesslike manner, or for players who don't interact with the dealer or players. But, mostly, they need someone to spot the players using basic strategy. Someone who’ll spot suspect card counters and count along with them.”

“And if I find one, what do I do? Do I stop them myself?”

“No. That’s a job for the pit bosses and security. You just alert your boss, and he’ll decide whether to instruct the dealer to shuffle more frequently or something like that, or they’ll tell the card counter to leave.”

“That’d be great!”

“Do you happen to know your driver’s-license number?”

It would be a while before she could get a replacement. “Yes.”

“And your social-security number?”

Jane nodded.

“Well, I explained about your wallet getting stolen, and they said if you knew your personal information, they could run a computer check on you, and you shouldn’t have a problem.”

“I so appreciate this, Delilah.”

“Don’t even mention it. My shift starts this evening. Could you come down to the Bullion then? I’ll pick you up on my way and you can talk to them.”

“I sure could.”

She called Royal when Delilah left. Royal was genuinely excited about the opportunity, too.  They didn’t talk about the night before, even though Jane really wanted to. She thought it would be better to let Royal bring it up. That is, if she wanted to.

She hoped she would because a thousand feelings were exploding inside her and she desperately needed to discuss them.

*

“What’s gotten into you?”

For the third time that day, Royal had dropped a ring she was showing to a customer. The loud clank each one had made when it hit the glass counter top had gotten Pauly’s attention.

When the third customer walked away to look at the instruments hanging by the front window, Royal gazed down and rubbed her forehead.

“Too much coffee today?” Pauly said before he walked over to help get down an electric guitar.

Too much Jane. Not enough Jane.

Making love had discombobulated her to the point that she was virtually useless at work.

She couldn’t balance the books, she couldn’t plan her advertising budget; heck, she couldn’t even hold a ring.

The intensity of the night she’d spent with Jane had overpowered her completely. It was as if she was hung over—her hands shook and her head wouldn’t function properly. Easy tasks for which synapses needed to simply connect were firing in weird directions, and whatever she did to correct her movements didn’t work. The only times her brain functioned right were when she repeatedly recalled Jane’s lips and hands and body.

When Jane called with news of the job offer, she had been truly happy for her. She’d wanted to mention the night before, but still needed time to think everything through.

Yet, Royal’s own body was undeniably still responding to Jane’s touch. She had just gotten wet simply thinking about last night, and every time she thought about tasting Jane, bolts of excitement shot through her stomach.

She’d made love to her share of women, but she’d never fallen so deeply into such passion and abandon.

She had given herself entirely to Jane and had tumbled madly into her with a craving so powerful that, if it crushed her into oblivion, she wouldn’t have cared.

Everything about the night before had been perfect and incredibly natural.

*

The next few days passed without Royal and Jane spending much time together. Jane had started work right away, going to training classes and shadowing other employees. She was also scheduled to work Delilah’s swing shift so Delilah could pick her up and drive her home. Because of that, Royal was usually in bed when Delilah dropped her off.

They only saw each other in the early morning, if Jane happened to be awake when Royal was getting ready to go to the pawn shop. The atmosphere was thick with carefully picked words and polite hesitation. Still, Royal was sweet and generous, as usual. She had even told Jane that she missed their dinners together.

How Jane wished she could come home from work and crawl into Royal’s bed. She swore that a few times she thought Royal was standing at her door in the early morning hours, watching her sleep. Once, Royal had come in and covered her with a light blanket, and Jane had felt so safe.

She could sense that Royal was working through things, and her warm smiles and occasional touches seemed to indicate that they would talk soon. Jane would give her all the time she needed, but living in such close proximity to the woman she was falling in love with was one of the most difficult things imaginable. Desire pulled at her virtually every waking moment, and the respectful silence they shared on the topic was driving her insane.

Chapter Nineteen

“Are you Royal?”

A man had walked into the pawn shop and stood by the first display case, closest to the door.

Royal was looking down at some paperwork, finishing her notes. “I’m Royal, yes.”

“I’m Charles Kingston. Emily’s fiancé.”

Royal jerked her head up to see a big guy with sandy brown hair and blue eyes, his expression somber and stern. “Nice to meet you. I assume you’re here to see Ja…Emily.”

“Where is she?” He took a few steps closer. He was really big, as if he’d played high- school football and the muscles never lost their memory. He stood at the ready, his hands at his sides, but spread out a few inches from his hips.

“Did you just fly all the way out here?”

He frowned, probably not liking the change in subject. “Just got off the plane. Where—”

“There are several pawn shops in town. How’d you find mine?”

“Emily told her mother about one called Lucky Pawn. There’s only one.”

“That’d be true.”

“I don’t like your influence on my fiancé.”

“I’m not holding her hostage, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“This is not the place for her.”

“Charles, you don’t need to convince me of anything. Emily is her own person. You need to talk to her.”

“I plan on it. Where is she?”

“At work.”

“Work?” he yelped. “She has a job? What kind of hold do you have on her?” He stepped even closer.

Heinrich and Pauly had walked over and were now standing nearby. Charles’s eyes darted to both of them and back.

“Why don’t you just talk to her?” Royal said. “She should be by here soon.”

“When?”

“Don’t know. How about a cup of coffee while you’re waiting?”

“No.”

“Let me know if you need anything. Heinrich, I forgot to tell you to give Jane a call.”

Obviously Charles didn’t know about Emily’s nickname, because his facial muscles remained rigid and he didn’t appear to recognize it.

Heinrich nodded and went into the back room. Royal looked back down at her paperwork.

Both Delilah and Jane had the day off and it wasn’t long before they showed up.

Thanks to Heinrich’s warning call, when Jane saw Charles, she acted surprised, but not overly delighted.

Charles immediately balled up his fists when he saw her face. “What happened to you?”

“That was what I didn’t want to tell Mom and Dad. That was why I initially didn’t come home right away.”

“Who did this to you?”

“Some muggers. The police haven’t caught them yet. But I’m fine, Charles.” She held up a hand. “Don’t make a big deal out of this.”

He hugged her. “This is why you shouldn’t have come out here.”

Jane didn’t respond but locked eyes with Royal until he broke the embrace.

“Sounds like you two need to talk,” Royal said, and showed them to her back office. She left the office door open just in case.

*

“Well, this is a fine how do you do.” Delilah went behind a display case and plopped down on a stool. “And get away from that hallway, Royal. You’re hovering.”

“What if he gets angry and out of control?”

“He’s already angry, but I doubt he’ll lose control. Let them talk.”

“What if he forces her to go home?”

“She’ll go if she wants to. And if she doesn’t, he’ll have to go through us to take her.”

Royal began to pace. Luckily no customers were in the shop. No way would she be able to concentrate on a business transaction if anyone wanted her to.

“So now you’re an expert on observations?”

“Oh, for the love of spring chickens. Loosen that cinch you got on your saddle, Royal. It’s making you cranky. Just feel what you feel.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“This ain’t my first rodeo. I can tell when the sparks are flyin’. And you two are definitely generating some combustion.”

“She’s young.”

“She’s only six years younger than you.”

“I mean she’s naïve. Inexperienced.”

“She’s just differently experienced. And who says your type of life experience is better?”

Royal opened her mouth but couldn’t think of anything to say.

“She likes you, Royal.”

“Delilah, her fiancé has come for her. She’s got an entire life back in Oklahoma. What the hell am I supposed to do about that? Nann was right. I’ve had some bad experiences with straight women, and I need to be careful. I don’t know anything about Jane.” Royal finally stopped, realizing she was thinking out loud.

Delilah put her hands on her hips. “Royal, I don’t know what gets into your head sometimes. If you put your brains in a bumblebee right now, it’d fly backward. First of all, Nann isn’t on your side in this one. She wants you.”

“I know that.”

“But her plan backfired because, instead of making you crazy jealous for her, you took a nose dive for Jane.”

“It was terrible waiting for Jane to come home.”

“Well, that was obvious when you popped a gasket. You know Nann deliberately took Jane to the bar. And, second, you’ve only had bad experiences with a few straight women who took you on emotional roller coasters.”

“More like journeys to hell.”

“Do you think Jane is like that? What do you need to know about Jane? She’s from the south boonies somewhere. She’s not a con artist or murderer. Believe me, honey, you’ve taken worse home from the bar.”

Royal narrowed her eyes as threateningly as she could at Delilah, who remained unfazed. Royal sighed. “I don’t think Jane knows what she wants. Charles is here. Nann’s hanging around.” Royal shook her head. “I don’t want to get in the middle of all that.”

“You’re probably right, considering it’s so damn clear you do know what you want.”

“The last time I wanted something like this was with Rita. That turned out to be a disaster. I should learn from my mistakes. I’m a straight-woman magnet and I fall for them every time.”

“Damn, girl, do you know how good you are at letting your mouth overload your tail?”

“I also know that I need a Texas dictionary to understand you sometimes.”

“Don’t be a twit. You know damn well what I’m saying.”

“I’m saying that Jane is trouble, and a big part of that trouble just flew in on an airplane from Oklahoma.”

*

Charles had gotten angry, pleaded, whined, and reasoned with Jane, all within the thirty minutes they were in Royal’s office.

“I appreciate you flying all the way out here. I know you care, but I’m fine. I told Mom and Dad that. I’m not going home until I’m ready.”

“Do you know I took time off when I shouldn’t have? I told you I couldn’t be gone from work to go on this stupid trip, but you forced me to anyway.”

“I didn’t force anything.”

“You’ve been out here nineteen damn days. What the hell’s going on?”

“I decided to take a vacation.”

“You’ve gone insane is what you’ve done, Emily. This will lead to bad things, I’m telling you.”

“Do I look like I’m in a bad way?”

“Look at your face!” He jerked a thumb toward the front of the shop. “There’s no telling what else those people will do to you.”

The stitches had been out for ten days, but the mark was still red. “They didn’t do this to me.”

“Where have you been staying? At that Royal person’s house? Or with that black cowboy woman? Since when have you decided you like hanging out with weird people?”

“Those are good folks. They helped me when I couldn’t help myself.”

“You could have called me. I’m your fiancé, damn it. I take care of you.”

“Well, I’m learning to take care of myself now. Something I should have done a long time ago.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? You don’t wanna get married now?”

“It depends. Would marrying you mean I’d remain helpless and dependent?”

He leaned close to her face. “You’d be my goddamned wife, Emily. And no wife of mine runs off to Lord knows where and gads about with the likes of them.” He was seething and his eyes had turned to steely gray dots. “You’re getting on that plane now. We’re leaving to collect your things.”

“I’ve spent most of my relationship with you being told what to do. Now I’m going to tell you one thing. You’re getting back on that plane, Charles. Alone.”

Jane strode out of the office and resisted the temptation to run into Royal’s arms.

Charles followed her out but stopped when Jane said, “Delilah, may we go now?”

“Sure thing.” Delilah hopped up from the stool, and they left through the front door.

Charles’s face was crimson and he was clearly shaking from anger, but he remained silent. When the door closed, everyone in the shop looked at him. Pauly casually strolled over to the front door and Heinrich walked over to stand next to Royal.

No one said a word.

After a few moments, Charles stalked to the front door, Pauly stepped aside, and he left.

*

Jane was on the couch when Royal returned home from work. Seeing her sitting there sent a bolt of pain through her, exploding inside her stomach in anguish.

“I called home and Mom told me Charles was at the Vegas airport, getting on a plane back to Oklahoma. They’re really mad at me and told me I’m ruining my life.”

“Are you?”

“I don’t know. That’s a narrowly focused question for my parents, but it’s a much broader one for me.” She shook her head, then said, “Are you okay?”

Royal’s answer depended on things she couldn’t control. She sat down on the couch. “I’m not sure. Are you?”

“I’m still pretty shaky. Delilah took me to a restaurant, and we had a drink. We talked a lot. I mean, I’ve been with Charles for a long time. Seems like most of my adult life…”

A bubble of panic rose in Royal’s throat. She wasn’t ready to hear that Jane would be leaving soon to go back home. “Well, you’ve got a lot going on right now.”

“I’ve got decisions to make.”

At least nothing was definite. Still, Royal felt so on edge, she was afraid she’d explode from the pressure building up inside her. Jane was driving her mad with frustration and longing. Watching her go off with Nann had just about ruptured a blood vessel. And sleeping with Jane, knowing she was engaged, was just plain crazy. But engagements and lesbian bars were the furthest thing from her mind when she felt the warmth of Jane’s body and urgent murmuring that matched her own need. She had been swept up in emotions with no cognitive functions. But now, in the stark reality of their situation, she couldn’t see anything but harsh consequences.

How could she have made love to Jane when she knew this day would come? She hadn’t expected Charles to show up, but she knew he existed. And when he did appear, he became the sobering symbol of Jane’s other, unavailable life. Royal had let another straight woman inside her deepest places and would now suffer the consequences of that flight from her senses.

She’d crossed the line with an engaged woman, and now she had to talk to Jane just as she had with her exes. If this was like her past relationships, Jane would begin by discussing how confused she was about her feelings, soon move on to pleading and making promises, followed by negotiations to which Royal would agree. Next, Jane would deceive her, which would break her heart, and betray her, which would cause unbearable pain. After that, it would end very badly. Goddamn it! She’d done it again. Wouldn’t she ever learn?

Royal had worked herself into such an anxious rant that her cheeks grew hot. “I suppose you do have a decision to make.” Royal knew the words were brusque, but she couldn’t stop herself.

“Royal, I didn’t know Charles would show up. I didn’t ask him to come here.”

“I suppose not, since you were making love to me not too long before he did. Oh, yeah, and just before that you were in a gay bar pursuing your attraction to women.”

“I was not. Nann’s the one who did the groping.”

Royal’s stomach clenched again. Groping? “Hell, why didn’t you go for it?”

Royal might as well have slapped her because Jane’s mouth twitched, and she almost scowled. “What?”

“You’re feeling gay. Nann’s there. Why not? Or are you still keeping that marriage idea in your back pocket?”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

“If you go back to Charles you might never know.” She hated what was coming out of her mouth, but she couldn’t stop herself.

“What’s the matter, Royal?”

Royal ran her hand through her hair. “Let’s see. You go out to a bar with Nann, you and I were intimate, Charles comes for you. And you’re asking me what the matter is?”

“I’m confused, Royal. And this isn’t helping. I’m sorry you’re angry with me.”

“I’m not angry at you. I’m angry at myself.”

“Why are you mad at yourself?”

“I slept with you, Jane. I shouldn’t have. I walked right into yet another mistake.”

“Another mistake?”

“My past. Getting involved with straight women. This is what always happens.”

“So all of us straight people are the same?” Jane’s tone had hardened.

“No. I’m the same. I keep making the same mistakes. I can’t do this again. It nearly killed me last time.”

“Making love with me was a mistake?”

Royal understood the frustration in Jane’s tone, but her heart felt like it would explode. “Why don’t you call Charles and ask him?”

“That was a low blow. Leave him out of this.”

“Charles is your goddamn fiancé, Jane.”

“And I can make my own decisions, Royal.”

They were almost shouting now. Royal closed her eyes. She wanted to hold Jane, but that was just part of her fucked-up head and she sure couldn’t do that again. Infuriated at her own frustration, she opened her eyes. “And I’m making my own decisions, too. I...” Royal stopped when she saw how tight Jane’s face was stretched. Her scar was shining red, and those beautiful eyes that had looked down on her when they’d made love were now fighting back tears.

Royal’s heart swelled until it ached so much she almost doubled over in pain. Tears came to her eyes as well. She blinked them back, cursing them but suddenly comprehending their source. She had fallen in love with Jane. She had let herself become involved with a woman who was engaged and confused.

She couldn’t take much more. She needed to find a place where she could be alone and let out the tears that threatened to erupt.

Quietly, she rose from the couch. “Go back home to Charles, Emily.”

Royal turned away to avoid seeing how much she’d just injured Jane. In that moment, she’d never hated herself more.

*

Jane stayed in her room the rest of the night, not knowing where Royal was or what she was doing. She cried over their conversation, but by the time she’d soaked her pillow, she realized that she couldn’t necessarily blame Royal.

Royal had been her protector, her confidante, and her pick-me-up. She’d been nothing but generous, caring, lovely, and compassionate. And somewhere along the way, she’d also turned out to be sexy and captivating.

Here Jane sat, perplexed by the turn of events and mystified by this new revelation that her feelings for women hadn’t been a phase but had simply lain dormant in the years since Elena.

Of course it made sense that Royal would be upset. Jane had barreled into her world, an uninvited, bloody blob with no name and no way to take care of herself. Royal had provided her everything, and now Jane had returned nothing but confusion.

But Royal had given her a new sense of who she could be. She had been awakened and inspired, and Jane would always be grateful for so much more than just the alley rescue.

Royal was in her life now, and if all they could have was just friendship, that would be the best gift she could ever receive.

She realized three facts very clearly.

She wouldn’t be marrying Charles, though that decision made her somewhat sad.

She would respect Royal’s wishes, but she wouldn’t go home until she and Royal talked some more and decided what type of relationship between them was possible.

She needed to find another place to stay.

Chapter Twenty

Monday passed in a slogging series of pawn transactions and small talk with Heinrich. He had tried to encourage deeper dialogue, but Royal fended off anything more personal than chat about the weather and balance sheets. It was almost closing time, and Royal let Heinrich go early. She preferred to close the shop by herself, then stop by the casino to play some hands of blackjack at Delilah’s table. Then again, Jane would be there.

She wished so much that things were like they’d been before, when she could sit with Jane on the couch and watch movies. The simple, uncomplicated pleasure of Jane’s company made her feel happy and complete. She longed to be close to her.

The front door opened and Royal checked her watch. This would be her last customer of the night. She looked up to find Jane walking toward her.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Her heart ached from their conversation the night before. She had been unbearably cruel, and that meanness had saturated her mood. But denying her feelings for Jane had to be better than running toward a train wreck. For both of them.

“I’m on my lunch break. Delilah let me borrow her car.” Jane stood across the counter from Royal and put both hands, which were shaking, on the glass top. “I wanted to apologize,” she said. “I’ve been like a tornado blowing into your life, and I’ve caused you a lot of grief. I cherish your friendship, and no matter what happens I still want to be your friend. So, for now, I’m going to find another—”

The front door opened again and two men in their mid-twenties walked in.

Royal gave Jane an apologetic smile. She begrudgingly needed to help them so she could hurry them out of the shop and get back to Jane. When she looked toward them, she thought she saw one of them lock the door.

“What can I—”

The men rushed toward Royal and Jane and abruptly pulled handguns from their sweatshirt pockets.

“Freeze, bitches,” the taller one shouted.

Jane stiffened and Royal raised her hands in front of her. “Hold on. You can have what you want. No problem.”

“Get in back,” the shorter one demanded. He pointed his gun toward the office and grabbed Jane by her sleeve.

“Take it easy,” Royal yelled, but the man jerked Jane toward the rear of the shop. The taller man’s gun was aimed at Royal, but she cared less about that than about what might happen to Jane.

“Go on,” the taller man bellowed.

Royal rushed to catch up with Jane, trying to maneuver between her and the short man’s gun. When they all were in the hallway, she heard from behind her, “Where’s your safe?”

“It’s over here,” Royal said, pointing to the room across from her office.

They shoved Royal and Jane into the room, following closely.

“There are two,” the short man said to his partner.

“Open ’em both. Hurry up.”

Royal quickly turned the dial of one and its heavy door swung open, revealing stacks of cash. The tall man pulled out a black vinyl satchel and tossed it to her. “Fill it up.”

As Royal worked, she glanced toward Jane. The short man was holding her arm and poking his pistol into her waist. Jane’s eyes were glazed and fixed on Royal. Christ, she told herself, don’t do anything to startle these assholes.

“Now the other one. Hurry up.”

Royal went to the other safe and spun the wheels. When that door opened, she swept the rings and other jewelry from it into the satchel.

“There’s more shit on the shelves,” the shorter man said as the other one grabbed the now- heavy bag from Royal.

He reached into his pocket and retrieved a plastic grocery sack.

“Fill this up.”

Royal worked as quickly as she could, and when it was full, the man grabbed it from her.

“Now get in the corner over there.”

Royal and Jane backed away from them, and Royal pushed Jane behind her.

“Give me your cell phone.”

Royal unclipped it from its holder and tossed it to him. He put it in the satchel.

“You got a phone?” He pointed the gun at Royal, but he was addressing Jane.

“No, no, no,” Jane said excitedly, stepping aside and lifting her shirt to show that her waistband was bare.

The tall man stepped over to the wall phone that sat over the first safe, grabbed the cord, and yanked it out of the wall. Looking around, he must have concluded there was nothing else to take or destroy, so he jerked his head toward the door and the short man moved into the hallway.

The tall man followed him, checked the doorknob, and saw that the locking mechanism operated the lock from the hallway. He untied the rope that held the door open.

Royal’s heart slammed into overdrive. “Don’t do that!”

The man pointed his gun at her head. “Shut the fuck up. Don’t fucking move or make any noise.” The door closed and Royal heard the click of the lock.

“My God,” Jane said.

Royal stepped away from the corner and over to the door. The sounds of display cases opening meant they were still there and were ransacking the shop now. She heard glass breaking. In less than a minute, she heard them enter the hallway again. She stepped back and grabbed a four-thousand-dollar guitar from a shelf and raised it over her head, ready in case they returned.

Then came the sound of the back door opening. It clicked closed, signaling the men’s departure.

Jane remained plastered to the corner. “They could have killed us.”

Royal lowered the guitar. Jane’s words registered, but they didn’t mean a thing. Her throat was closing, and the air was getting scarce.

Royal thought she heard Jane say, “Can we get out of here?”

Her breathing was as rapid as the pounding of her heart. The parallel cadence threatened to wipe out her hearing and her sense of reason. Sweat broke out through her pores and soon she would grow dizzy. Nothing would rescue her from this.

“Royal.” The voice was insistent.

“Trapped,” she managed to gasp.

She jerked on the doorknob, then searched frantically for a screwdriver or a hammer. She’d smash her way out of this fucking room if she had to.

Jane’s face filled her view.

“Look at me,” Jane said. “Focus on my face.”

Jane’s expression was calm, but Royal knew her own was wild. Can’t she see that I’m going to die?

“It’ll be okay. Look at me.”

Terror gripped her, threatening to suffocate her, but Royal continued to stare into her eyes.

“Listen to me,” Jane said slowly and clearly. “We’re going to do one thing right now. We’re going to count your breathing.” Royal watched her almost-serene gaze. “Breathe in for two.” She demonstrated, saying, “And out for two.”

You want me to fucking breathe? “What?”

“Breathe in with me.”

Like a baby mimicking her mother, Royal followed Jane’s lead, but her intake of air was a constricted gasp that she quickly exhaled.

“Okay. Now let’s breathe in again and hold it for two counts, then exhale for two.”

Royal let out the air and her fear slipped away for an instant. It came back, but just that slight interruption brought the returning fright down a notch.

“With me now.”

Royal’s air intake wasn’t much smoother this time, but she managed to count for two beats and exhaled for two.

“Again.”

She clung to the lifeline of Jane’s eyes holding hers. They counted for two more breaths, then Jane asked her to hold four more for four times each.

“You and me,” Jane coaxed calmly and reassuringly. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”

When they completed four more breaths for the count of six, her heart had slowed its beating and she’d stopped sweating.

“Keep breathing slowly and the rest of your body will slow down.”

“Okay.”

“The room is the same as it’s always been. We will absolutely get this door opened.”

“But right now, we’re trapped.”

“And we’ll get out.”

Royal nodded, placing all her trust in Jane.

“I know panic attacks are scary but you can control them.”

“Do you have them?”

“No, but my grandmother did. She learned how to cope, and I learned how to help her.”

“What else did she do?”

“We worked on relaxation techniques.”

“Can we do one?”

“Sure. Do you feel better standing or sitting down?”

Her fight-or-flight instinct was still lurking on the periphery of her brain. “Standing.”

“Okay. Starting with your fingers, tighten the muscles until they start to ache.”

Royal squeezed her fingers together.

“Just focus on those muscles.”

After about fifteen seconds, Jane said, “Now, completely relax your fingers. Let them go limp like spaghetti.”

She coached Royal to do likewise with her arms, then her shoulders and legs. When they finished with her toes, Royal had almost forgotten where they were.

“How are you doing?”

“Better.”

“If how you felt before was a ten, how do you feel now?”

“A four, I think.”

“That’s good, Royal.”

It was. She’d never resolved a panic attack that quickly before. Until she got out of the room, she wasn’t convinced that she wouldn’t have another one, but Jane’s presence unquestionably comforted her.

“Now I know why the door was roped open.”

Royal nodded.

“You’ve had panic attacks before?”

Embarrassed, Royal was reluctant to talk about her secret, but it was out in the open now. And it had been easy to relax into Jane’s soothing nature. “Yes. They started in college. As a joke, some students locked me in a closet at a party. They turned off the lights and left the room. I freaked out. It was during finals, and I was already really stressed so that put me over the edge. I’ve had a few more episodes over the years since, mostly around rooms without windows.”

“Well, it makes sense. Now I understand better why you acted the way you did in the elevator. But we will get out of here. You and me. We’ll figure it out.”

“I’ve never been with anyone during an attack. I’ve always worked through it myself.”

“This time you have a partner. From one to ten, where are you now?”

“Still a four. Maybe a three.”

“Good. If you feel you’re getting to a five or six, tell me and we’ll do more relaxation.”

“Okay.” Royal smiled weakly. “Can we try to get out now?”

“Sure. What can we use?”

Royal looked around. “Shelves, guitars, lots of jewelry, well, not so much of that anymore. Sports memorabilia like baseball cards, and a signed Minnesota Twins baseball bat…”

She stood suddenly and retrieved the bat from one of the shelves. It was on pawn but she checked the tag. The loan was about to expire on the six-hundred-dollar, Kirby Puckett-signed game bat. If the customer returned to pick up the bat, she’d gladly pay him double.

Jane held up her hand. “Wait a minute. If you’re about to start whaling on the door, just make sure it doesn’t make your anxiety worse.”

Royal smacked the bat in one hand. “I think this’ll be rather good for me.”

“Okay,” Jane laughed, “but if your stress level starts to rise, stop.”

Royal positioned herself a few feet from the door. She looked behind her to make sure Jane was safely out of the way, then swung with all her might. The bat connected with the door with a loud whack. She looked for any evidence of a crack but the door remained solid.

She hit it again. And again. It felt good to focus on this task. She felt some semblance of control returning. After a number of blows, they began to sound less sharp.

She examined the door. A small crack had formed in the middle panel.

“Jane, look!”

She turned around to find Jane tinkering with the phone. She was twisting the wires from the unit with their matching halves that protruded limply from the wall.

Royal watched Jane for a moment. “Do you think that’ll work?”

Jane continued her task without looking up. “Let’s see who solves her challenge first.”

“You’re on.” Royal squared up with the door again and started swinging. More cracking noises sounded, then suddenly the bat broke in half, wooden shards flying in different directions.

“Shit.” She used her foot and kicked the door, which gave a little, but it would need a lot more force.

She went over to the shelves again, looking for something else to use. The guitars wouldn’t hold up half as long as the bat, and the crystal art sculptures would be completely useless. What else was there? She could try to lift a safe and heave it at the door. She was just about to bend over the smallest one when Jane spoke.

“Let’s call 911 before you destroy another expensive collectable.” She held out the phone.

*

“Thank you,” Royal said as they sat together by the locked door, waiting for the police to arrive.

“You’re welcome. Do you think you’ll be okay until the police get here?”

“Just knowing they’re on their way helps. Plus, I really can’t thank you enough for helping me through my panic attack.”

“You did all the work.”

Royal thought a moment. “What were you saying just before all this happened?”

“That I’ve decided to find another place to live.”

Royal opened her mouth, but Jane held up her hand. “I never meant to cause you this pain and confusion. I’ve made a mess of things.” She stopped, then a sad, thin grin formed. She shook her head. “I never thought something so incredible could lead to something this horrible.”

“What do you mean?”

“Our kiss. Our kisses. Making love. It was the most amazing feeling to be with you that way.” Her sentences seemed to run together in a long stream of befuddled consciousness. “But I see that’s not what you want. And I don’t blame you. I mean, who the heck am I? Some square Okie, telling you I’m engaged and then attacking you like some piranha.”

Royal couldn’t help but smile fondly. “You’re not a piranha.”

“Well, maybe not a piranha, but a…a…mosquito that comes buzzing around smelling blood or something. Just zuzzzing in your ear and generally being a pest and thinking they can pursue their feelings any old way. Here you are, so strong and fearless that you picked me up off the ground in an alley. And this is how I thank you?”

Royal took everything in, but the despicable comments she’d made the night before wiped away any good deeds she’d ever done for Jane.

“Jane, as you must have noticed recently, I’m not that strong and fearless.”

“You are, Royal. Fears and anxiety don’t make you weak. Panic attacks aren’t a reason to denigrate yourself. You worked hard to get through that attack, and by the look of things,” Jane picked up what was left of the bat, “you did fine.”

Royal took it and, dropping the splintered piece of wood to the ground, she said, “The fear I’m referring to is about you.” She took Jane’s hand. “I’ve been acting like an ass. Things have been confusing for me, and I’m so sorry I said those terrible things to you.”

“I understand about the confusion,” Jane said. “This morning I realized that I have everything to lose and nothing to lose. All in the same moment.”

“What does that mean?”

“I could lose everything I have back home—my boyfriend, a wedding, a nice life. And then I think about never seeing you again, and suddenly what I have back home seems like nothing. Like there’s nothing there to lose.”

“But, Jane, you have a whole life back there. Here you’ve had three weeks of…of vacation.” Royal spread her arms out. “This is just a place where you’ve spent some time in my life, not yours. This isn’t real for you, Jane.”

“These past weeks have felt more real to me than twenty-eight years in Oklahoma.”

“So…what now?”

Jane looked away, toward the back of the room. “Now, it’s over for Charles and me. Now, I’m crazy about you. Now, I don’t have much control over anything else. And maybe that’s the way it has to be.”

When Jane looked back, her eyes were filled with more sadness than confusion.

Feeling like she had to capitulate as thoroughly as Jane had, Royal said, “I’m pretty upside down on all this, too.”

“I’ll tell you one thing, though,” Jane said. “I don’t see anything that has happened between you and me as a mistake. I’ve learned so much about myself since I’ve been here. And one of those things is that I have feelings for you. I’ve also learned that you’ve had bad relationship experiences in the past. But I’m not your past.”

“No. But my fear is in the present.”

Jane’s beautiful eyes connected with Royal’s. Royal looked deeper, beyond the jade-green irises, to that profound place within, and realized she was seeing the same look of desire she had gazed at when they made love. Her pulse accelerated as she remembered the passionate way Jane had kissed her. Royal opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. After a moment she said, “I’m afraid because it’s too scary. I don’t want to feel.”

Jane pondered her confession. Then she said, “The trouble is, you do feel. And it shows.”

“But I can’t, Jane. Please listen. I’ll…I’ll just have to do a better job at it.”

“What, not having feelings for me?”

“I’ve fallen for you but I can’t afford to.” Royal looked down, completely defeated. “I’m so messed up emotionally. I told myself to stop thinking about you.”

When she raised her head, Royal swore she saw both desire and anguish in Jane. Those were the same incompatible feelings that were coursing through her.

*

The police arrived and freed Royal and Jane from the back room. They surveyed the damage, making notes of what Royal and Jane told them. Royal then retrieved the security tape that had recorded the events. After less than an hour, the police were gone and Royal locked up the shop. Jane left in Delilah’s car, with a copy of the police report to show her boss why she was returning to work so late from lunch. Royal headed home, exhausted.

At half past two that night, the front door opened. As Royal lay in bed, she listened to the footsteps coming down the hallway, followed by a knock on her door. When it opened, a figure much taller than Jane stood there.

“You had me more scared than a sinner in a cyclone. Are you okay?”

“It was certainly terrifying,” she told Delilah.

“They make off with a bunch of stuff?”

“Yeah. But hopefully the police will find them. There’s not a whole lot else I can do right now.”

“I’m so sorry, Royal. But I’m glad you two are okay.”

“Where’s Jane?”

“She’s staying at my house.”

Royal sat up. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“She heard you loud and clear. You told her to go home.”

Royal sighed heavily. “Shit.”

“Did you say that to her?”

“I told her today that I needed to hide my feelings for her because they aren’t doing me any good. And the night before that, I told her to go home to Charles.”

“There you go saying things when you mean the opposite. Well, now she just might.”

“She doesn’t need to stay away. She’s welcome here.”

“I’m not sure she knows that. You know, right now she’s as confused—”

“I know, as a cow on Astroturf.”

“I was gonna say as a hungry baby in a topless bar, but you get the general idea.”

She got out of bed and began to dress.

“Give yourself some time, Royal.”

“Why? I need to talk to her now.”

“Then give her some time.”

Royal stopped buttoning her jeans.

“Do you know what you’re gonna say to her? Have you thought this through, or are you just gonna confuse the situation even more?”

She hadn’t. What would she say? “Come back and hang out, but don’t kiss me again even though I want you to?” Or, maybe, “I like being around you, but wanting you drives me so crazy that I’m afraid it’ll turn out badly?”

“She’s fine at my house, Royal. Just let it be for a while.”

Delilah told her she loved her. The front door closed, leaving a silence in the house as dead as Royal’s spirit.

Chapter Twenty-One

Jane slept in because she didn’t have to be at work until later that afternoon. While Delilah was shopping and running errands, she washed clothes and cleaned up the place. The mundane chores did nothing to ease the heaviness in her heart. It seemed like she was doing each task in slow motion.

More times than she could count, she thought about calling Royal to see how she was, but each time she hesitated, knowing Royal needed the distance. She’d said so. When they were locked up in the back room at the pawn shop, Royal had said that she needed to stop thinking about her. The night before that, she’d told her to go back home. But it had especially stung that, for the first time since she’d come home from the hospital, Royal had called her Emily.

All those words slashed the center of her heart like a razor blade—quick, clean, and precise.

She shook her head in disappointment. The last thing she wanted to do was barge back into Royal’s life. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. The last thing she wanted to do was go home.

Several weeks ago, she would have thought she was mad for entertaining such a thought. Her whole life was back in Oklahoma. At least the life she’d lived for the past twenty-eight years.

That life, though, seemed old now. During the short time she’d been away, she’d seen the possibilities of what she could do and who she could become. She could now contemplate taking the kind of risks she would have never considered before. She’d met a group of people more open and accepting than the one she’d been born into. They expected only that she be her own person. Until now, she’d never even asked herself the question, Who am I, really?

Royal was right; Las Vegas was the perfect place to take risks.

*

Royal added to her misery by staying up most of the night thinking about Jane. She couldn’t turn her mind off after Delilah’s late-night visit. Since learning that Jane had decided to stay with Delilah, a pit the size of a large peach sat unsettled in her stomach. She didn’t blame Jane for moving somewhere else after the despicable things she’d said to her. During the horrible afternoon in the pawn shop, Jane had been so wonderful as she helped her through her panic attack. And Royal was able to apologize for her harsh words, but then her fear took over. Sick of her mind and body tossing back and forth, she got out of bed and went to work early.

She stood in the middle of the shop, holding a cup of coffee, and stared at her life. Only one display case was broken, but the sight of the missing stock, mostly jewelry, stung. She put her coffee down and started to clean up. As she straightened the remaining items and vacuumed the glass from the floor, she estimated that she’d lost close to forty thousand dollars in inventory and cash. Her insurance would cover it since she’d followed all the correct safety procedures, but she’d have to pay a deductible and buy a new glass case. She’d also need to rekey the door to allow it to be opened from the inside.

She could resolve everything in time, even the crime committed against her. But she’d never be able to forget conveying to Jane that she was off-limits to her.

Jane would eventually return to Oklahoma and get married. And maybe she’d remember Royal as an interesting story to tell or a secret to keep to herself.

Still, Royal would take back her words if she could. She didn’t want Jane to go home with that memory. Truthfully, she didn’t want Jane to go home at all. Especially not to Charles.

Making love to her had been amazing. She had especially liked their kisses. She’d coveted the kisses, actually. Their bodies fit perfectly, and Royal had gotten incredibly excited when they were in bed. She’d had a powerful need to satisfy Jane and couldn’t recall ever feeling so overcome with the desire to taste someone. It was like Jane had cast a spell on her, and she didn’t want it to be lifted.

But then the morning came. That night, she’d let the full strength of her feelings for Jane override her logic. And the next day, when everything had blown up in her face, she could only blame herself because she was the one who’d lit the fuse.

She wiped down the still-intact display cases. However, her quiet time in the shop didn’t allay her misery over the robbery, her exhausting panic attack, or her anticipation of Jane’s departure.

Her heart ached. She was stuck in a static hell that had no resolution. Face it, she told herself, you made a mistake. Learn from this and live with your decisions.

As she waved to Heinrich, who had just come in to the shop with an extremely concerned expression, Royal had one more thought. You’re a fucking moron.

After Heinrich sat Royal down and listened to every detail of her harrowing night in the back room, he seemed to switch into hyper-drive, helping her clean the rest of the shop and move inventory around so they could conduct their daily business without it looking like any criminal activity had occurred.

When Heinrich had first arrived, Royal considered keeping the shop closed, but he encouraged her to open. She began to see the improvements they were making, especially after Heinrich removed the broken display case from the shop and dragged it out into the alley. Things didn’t look so bad.

She cleaned her office and remembered that the robbers had missed the safe under her office desk that contained about sixty thousand dollars in cash. She’d forgotten about it altogether when she and Jane had been shoved into the room with the other safes. Royal giggled and went to the bank right away, deposited most of that cash, and when she returned to the shop and started interacting with customers, she surmised that things would be okay.

However, until she could change the back-room lock to a double system, she certainly wouldn’t go anywhere near there. Even the thought of being confined wasn’t so bad, though. Jane had helped her learn to deal with any future panic attacks.

Jane. Lovely Jane. Regardless of what had transpired between them, Royal had to at least make things better with her before she left town.

“Phone for you, Royal,” Heinrich called from the front of the shop.

“Ms. Wooten, this is Detective Kapner from the Las Vegas Metro Police Department. Are you in contact with Emily Carver?”

“Yes, I am.”

“We need her to come to a lineup this afternoon. This is in reference to an attack that was perpetrated upon her.”

“You caught them?”

“We may have one in custody. And since you also saw these men, we need you to come in as well.”

“Of course.”

“Could you be here at three thirty this afternoon?”

“Definitely.”

“Please ask Emily Carver to arrive at four o’clock. We need to have you two view the lineup separately.”

“What about Heinrich? He saw them, too.”

“He was here earlier. However, I can’t tell you the results. And please know that the lineup numbers will be different with each of you.”

“Certainly. Thank you.”

*

The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department was a huge place. Jane swore that the entire Horatio Police Department could fit in their reception area.

Delilah had asked for an early lunch break for both of them and had driven Jane over. She walked ahead of Jane and up to the front counter. “We’re here to see Detective Kapner.”

As they waited, Delilah said, “When Royal called me to get the message to you, she said she’d be here for you. Are you okay seeing her?”

“Yes. I just wonder if she’s okay seeing me.”

“I believe she will be.”

“Why do you say that?”

“My grandpa used to say, the two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity. Now, I’m not saying Royal’s stupid, but we all do stupid things sometimes.”

Before Jane could respond, Detective Kapner walked up.

When they were led to the very small, dark observation room, Royal was already there. There wasn’t much room left with Detective Kapner, Royal, Delilah, another officer, and her all crowded around a small table in front of a picture window. With the possibility of confronting her attacker, if only through glass, she began to grow anxious.

“Hi,” Royal said.

“Hi.” Jane noticed that Royal was standing as close to the door as she could.

“Are you okay?” Jane wasn’t the only one who was anxious.

Royal nodded, holding up her hands and squeezing her fingers together like Jane had taught her. They shared a smile as Detective Kapner began to explain how the lineup would work.

“Royal has already been through this and asked to be here with you. She is not to talk to you about the men in the lineup. She will not be able to confer with you, either. We need your input to be unbiased. Do you understand?”

Just having Royal near her made her feel better. “Yes.”

“This is a one-way mirror, which means that you’ll be able to see the lineup, but the members of the lineup can’t see you. One of the suspects that attacked you may or may not be there. Now, we’ll raise the blinds and I want you to tell me if anyone looks familiar. If so, please indicate by using his number.”

After the blinds rose, six men stood facing Jane. They had very similar physical characteristics, with dark, medium-length hair and approximately the same height and body type. One stood out to her, though. He had a scar across his face and two front teeth that crossed over each other like the man who had spoken to her.

“I’m pretty sure it’s number five.”

“You’re not a hundred percent sure?”

“No. Well, almost. It happened fast.”

Detective Kapner glanced at a file she had with her. “Would it help to have them repeat what you heard that night?”

Jane nodded.

The detective instructed each one to say, “Hey, lady, you dropped something.” As each one spoke, the muscles in Jane’s neck tightened. She stared at the hand of number five, waiting for him to speak. Was that the hand that had delivered the first blow to her face?

“Hey, lady, you dropped something.” Those simple words, repeated by the first four men, who seemed to be staring right at her, sent chills through her. The detective instructed number five to speak.

“Hey, lady, you dropped something.”

Jane placed her hand on the table for support and instantly felt Royal by her side, her warm hands settled comfortingly on her shoulders. Royal had stepped away from the safety of the door to help her.

“That’s him.” Jane gripped Royal’s hands. Her breathing came faster as the nightmare revisited her fresh and raw. Seeing him again had been harder than she thought.

Firm, secure hands dropped from her shoulders and reached around to encircle her waist. Royal.

“It’s gonna be okay,” she heard her whisper. And Jane believed her.

Detective Kapner asked number six to say the words, telling Jane that she had to finish the exercise. “So, are you sure, now?”

“Yes.”

“A hundred percent?”

“Yes.”

The other officer started writing something down.

“Okay, Miss Carver. That’s all we need for now.”

*

Jane left with Delilah so quickly that it seemed like she might break into a run to get away from Royal. And she knew why. She cursed the insidious things that had come from her mouth and been aimed directly at Jane.

Watching the rear of Delilah’s car disappear into traffic wrenched Royal’s chest into knots. They merely had to get back to work, but Jane might as well be leaving for good. Royal felt as desolate as dry desert sand.

She was stuck. She didn’t know what to do.

And not a couple of days ago, Jane was the one who was confused. They had sat in Floyd Lamb Park talking about this very thing.

Royal told her then, “Living your own life means that taking risks is the most important thing of all. Sometimes it’s more important than the outcome.”

Easy for her to say. She’d dodged getting involved with Jane because of the risk. After all, she thought she should. Now, she was ignoring advice that had come not only from her mouth but from her heart. She really meant what she’d said to Jane in the park; however, when it came to her own life, she’d grown too fearful and cautious.

She should let her go now and try to reduce the amount of pain she’d feel when Jane climbed aboard a plane for Oklahoma. If she could just return to her prior existence, before she found Jane in the alley, maybe she could move on. But then her life would be just that, an existence. Only now, it would become a miserable life of day-to-day memories of a woman that she could never have.

Her heart punched through, decisively shutting up her brain.

Royal hadn’t become miserable because Jane had suddenly appeared. She would, however, be miserable if Jane left. But did they have a chance? Would it be too risky to try to make a life together?

Risk. Chance. Providence. Destiny. All words crucial to the creation of the remarkable city of Las Vegas. They were words she believed in.

She knew what she had to do. First, though, she needed to go by Lucky Pawn.

Chapter Twenty-Two

It was two a.m. Royal parked and headed toward the Bullion Casino’s employee entrance. The hot desert air still hung around her like a weighty blanket. The low humidity and high temperatures must have been working extra hard that evening, drawing in the low-pressure moisture from the Gulf of Mexico, because a thunderstorm was slowly moving in from across the southwest desert.

The warm amber lights at the back of the casino bathed the area in pools of gold that seemed to glow in between the murky, enigmatic shadows. The absence of people at such a late hour made the area all the more mysterious.

Low thunder from the looming storm rumbled and bounced off the cement walls, and erratic flashes of lightning lit the hills.

The shift had ended and casino workers, mostly dealers, shuffled out the back door, heading to their cars. When Jane and Delilah stepped out, they both looked at the sky, obviously unaware that a storm was building.

Royal walked toward them, relieved when Jane’s face lit up.

“May we talk?” Royal asked.

“Of course.”

Royal turned to Delilah. “Do you mind?”

Delilah jingled her keys. “It’s good timing, actually. I’ve been crazy tired all evening. I think one side of my brain got lost and the other side went looking for it.”

“Speaking of time,” Royal said as she reached into her jacket pocket, “I believe you could use a new watch. And now I won’t have to do so much extra cleaning. You’ve been drooling over my Rolexes since the day we met. Maybe this will finally stop you.”

Delilah’s mouth dropped open in astonishment as she took the watch. She slipped it on, clicked the clasp closed, and stared at it for a few moments. When she looked up, her mouth was still open.

“You’re a good friend, Delilah. I’m grateful to have you in my life,” Royal said. “And close your mouth.”

Delilah’s thanks came out between a gulp and what sounded like a hiccup. She smiled widely and looked the two of them over. “I think we’ve all got things to be grateful about.”

She hugged them both and said over her shoulder as she walked to her car, “Storm’s comin’. The rain always washes away the dust that’s been kicked up, you know.”

Royal was keyed up and her senses were all firing at once. The humidity from the storm dampened her face. The sounds of Las Vegas Boulevard droned from the other side of the casino, and the air smelled of rain and musty earth.

It was now or never, and only her heart, which was overflowing with love and possibilities, would speak.

*

The last of the casino employees had already reached their cars so Royal and Jane were left alone. Jane looked beautiful as the first breezes from the storm lifted the blond curls at the nape of her neck.

“Come on,” Royal said, and guided her back inside.

“What are we doing?”

“Something I should have done a while ago.”

They walked through the break room and down a long hall that led back out to the casino floor. The door opened and the sounds of slot machines and piped-in music increased dramatically. Royal took Jane’s hand and they maneuvered past the crap tables and blackjack tables, then stopped at the roulette wheel.

Even then in the early morning, the table was still full of people all huddled around the felt, placing bets with their different-colored chips.

Royal stopped Jane and faced her.

“Back in the pawn shop, when we were locked in, I told you I was afraid because I didn’t want to feel. Jane, I’m sorry for saying that. I’m still afraid, but I do feel. I feel so much for you. It started the day I found you and hasn’t stopped growing.”

Royal had to get these thoughts and feelings out. Sure, the risk was high, but now she believed the gamble was worth it. “I’d convinced myself that the price for an emotional investment in you was too much. I assumed that I wouldn’t get a safe return on that investment. But I was wrong.”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of one-hundred-dollar bills. “This is a thousand dollars.” She nodded toward the roulette table. “Black or red, pick a color.”

“What are you doing?”

“Taking a gamble.” She held up the cash.

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m standing on a precipice. I could run from its edge or I could bend forward and just…fall. Listen, you’ve decided to stay to earn the money for your plane ticket. So we’re going to place a bet. All or nothing. If we win, we split the cash and you can do whatever you like with it.”

“You’re willing to risk all that money?”

“I’m willing to take a chance on my heart.”

Royal kissed her. As their lips stayed together, Royal wanted to crawl inside Jane and stay there forever. She had no guarantees for the bet or for her heart, but right now, she didn’t care.

Jane said slowly, “But what if we lose?”

“Then at least we gambled. That’s the spirit that built Vegas. But if we don’t try, we’ll never know.”

“Royal, I realize things have been crazy the past few days. For both of us. But this—”

“Black or red?”

“You’ve lost your mind.”

“I could lose even more, although it’s not about the money. Listen, you don’t have to decide about anything right now except picking a color.”

Jane looked at the roulette wheel. Except for the zero and double zero, the numbers one through thirty-six were either black or red. She’d seen this game in movies and on TV. Though there were many ways to place a bet, if your money was on a color and the ball fell into a slot with that colored number, you won.

She shook her head. “I can’t choose. It’s your money, Royal.”

“Yes, you can. Pick a color.”

Jane looked at the wheel again. “Red.”

Royal squeezed in between two gamblers and placed the cash on the table. “One thousand on red.”

The dealer took the cash, counted it, and called for the pit boss. “One thousand on red.”

The pit boss stepped up, paused, and looked at them. “Emily, didn’t your shift just end?”

“Yes, it did.”

“Your friend must be feeling lucky tonight.” He nodded to the dealer, who exchanged the cash for a marker and placed it in the red section on the outer side of the roulette felt. The rest of the gamblers finished putting their chips on the table in various positions based on their hunches. The dealer reached into the wheel and collected the little white ball. Then he gave the rotating wheel more of a spin and, with a flick of his wrist, pitched the ball in the opposite direction that the wheel whirled.

Jane grabbed Royal’s arm with both hands. As the ball spun, she gripped tighter.

“Sometimes taking a risk is more important than the outcome,” Royal told her, and in that moment all her fretfulness melted away.

The centrifugal force of the wheel kept the ball circling toward the top.

“No more bets.” The dealer waved his hand across the felt.

They watched in anticipation as the ball began to slow. Suddenly, the force shifted and the ball dropped, bouncing in and out of the numbered slots with nerve-wracking velocity. It dropped into red number one, black number twenty-four, skipped over six slots, into black number seventeen, and quickly in and out of black number eleven. Finally, with a clink of finality, the ball came to rest in slot number thirty. Red.

Jane squealed and the other gamblers cheered for their win. Royal embraced her, and she buried her head in Royal’s shoulder.

“Oh, my God,” she said.

The pit boss congratulated them and they waited for the dealer to convert the marker into four purple five-hundred-dollar chips. Royal pulled another hundred-dollar bill from her pocket and tipped the dealer.

“Come on,” she said to Jane, “let’s go to the casino cage and cash out these chips.”

*

When they got back outside, the clouds had dropped closer to the ground and wind whirled around them. It hadn’t started raining yet, but the storm’s electricity filled the air.

Jane hugged her, then pulled away. “Never bet that kind of money again. I almost had a heart attack waiting for the ball to drop.”

“It was the only way I could deal with my fear. I needed to confront it head-on. I was going crazy not knowing when you were leaving or if you were. But if you had the money to buy a ticket, then I would know once and for all.”

“And you were willing to risk all that cash?”

“I needed to take the chance, and now that you have the money to go home, I have to risk telling you some things.” She took both of Jane’s hands. “You see, I started thinking about all you’ve been through—coming out here alone, surviving the attack, and having to start from scratch. Those are all such brave things. You’re so courageous.”

“I’ve never considered myself courageous.”

“You are. And you’ve taught me a lot, too. I’ve been afraid to simply show my feelings, so I decided to do something to put myself out there as well. No matter what the outcome would be. Laying a thousand dollars on the table was nothing compared to telling you these things because it scares me. Before all this, I thought I couldn’t afford to fall for you. But I have. And I can’t tell myself that I can or can’t feel for you. I just do.

“Blaming my exes had caused me to make nothing but incorrect assumptions and judgments about you. And the truth is, I’ve fallen in love with you. I don’t know what will happen from this moment forward, but I do know that I want to be with you.”

“Oh, Royal.” Jane kissed her and Royal’s fear began to fly away like a misguided missile, far off its intended target.

Thunder cracked, and they broke their kiss to look skyward. Bolts of electricity punctuated the dark purple sky. The storm had almost arrived, and the wind began to whip around them ferociously.

“Royal, I’m crazy about you, too. You make me feel like I’ve never felt before. No one has touched my heart the way you have. And every time I looked at you during the past few weeks, that plane heading for home kept getting farther and farther away. I miss my family, sure. But not my life back there. I’m a different person now. I could never go back to who I was. Until I stepped off the plane in Las Vegas, I was completely unconscious.”

“You certainly were when I first met you.”

Jane laughed and they kissed again.

“A swift kick in the head was probably what I needed, because in Oklahoma my soul was unconscious. You’ve taught me so much and allowed me to dream. You’ve also allowed me to get to know you, and I love what I see. I’ve been thinking a lot about Oklahoma. Things are different for me now. At home, certain things are expected of us. Coming out here has made me realize that I was caught in a life trap. When I was growing up, we were never allowed to go off on some selfish binge and say, ‘I wanna go to college or I wanna be an astronaut.’ But out here I can. And I want to.”

“You want to be an astronaut?”

Jane smiled. “No, silly. But I don’t intend to buy that plane ticket. I don’t know what I want to do exactly, but whatever it is, I can do it.”

“And whatever it is,” Royal took her hand, “you can do it here. With me.”

“Do you mean that?”

“With all my heart.”

“I want that more than anything.”

Each time a flash of lightning hit, Royal could see the pure love it lit up in Jane’s eyes. They kissed again, deeply and intensely, and she knew this was the beginning of a strong, significant love.

She held out her hand. “Then let’s get back home, Jane.”