Torquere Press
www.torquerepress.com

Copyright ©2009 by Cassidy Ryan

First published in www.torquerepress.com, 2009

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Dedication

For Zoe, who makes me laugh, and Emily, who makes me blush.

It was like a compulsion. Since that day two weeks before when I had dropped into Goddess for a quick coffee on my way to a client meeting and seen her, I couldn't walk past the place without feeling like some kind of magnet was drawing me in.

That day was no different. I parked my car in its usual place and started walking toward the office a block away. The walk took me past the narrow, cobbled lane with its little jewelry and gift stores and its general Bohemian air that reminded me of the London I'd seen on my last visit to England. My steps faltered in a way that was becoming familiar, and my eyes were drawn to the coffee shop half way down the lane. It was still early—before eight in the morning—but it already had a steady flow of traffic as my fellow office workers jacked up on caffeine to get them through the morning.

I didn't even realize the direction my steps had taken until I heard the click of my heels change as I moved from the street to the cobbles. The uneven surface of the lane hadn't been designed for high heeled shoes, but I kept walking until I reached the door of Goddess. I stopped there for a moment, gnawed on my lower lip and felt how I imagined a teenage boy would feel going into the drug store for his first pack of condoms.

But I wasn't a teenage boy. I was a twenty-eight-year-old woman; a successful lawyer, widely traveled, wearing the best pair of Jimmy Choo's my bank account would allow. With the confidence that only a really great pair of shoes could provide, I mentally squared my shoulders and pushed open the door. I stepped to the side to let another customer pass on his way out before moving to a table in the corner. I sat in a big, overstuffed chair and crossed my legs. My eyes roamed around the room in a way that I hoped looked nonchalant while my stomach twisted and my fingers drummed on the arm of the chair.

I caught the eye of the waitress. She smiled brightly and wandered over. “Well, hi there. You're becoming quite the regular. The usual?"

I felt my face warm with embarrassment. “Uh, yes, yes. Thank you."

"How about something to eat this morning? Our blueberry muffins are to die for.” She was bouncing on the balls of her feet. Either this girl, whose name tag read Sophie, was really a morning person or they were paying her in espresso.

"No, thank you. Just coffee.” My fingers were still tapping out a nervous beat on the arm of the chair, my eyes flicking beyond the waitress.

"Watching your figure, huh?” She stepped closer and lowered her voice. “If you ask me, you have nothing to worry about there.” She winked playfully, and I felt myself blush. Without waiting for a reply—that I probably wouldn't have been able to supply, she turned on her heel and headed in the direction of the kitchen.

To give myself something to do I took out my laptop, placed it on the low table and started it up. I was going over my calendar for the day when I felt a presence beside me. Expecting to find the waitress with my coffee, I smiled and turned. But the smile froze when I saw not the energetic red-head, but her.

That very first time I had seen her, standing by the counter, her long, dark blonde hair shining under the overhead light, long, slender limbs encased in tight jeans that rested on gently rounded hips, my body's reaction to her had been almost frightening. Never in my life had I experienced a physical attraction so intense that it actually took the breath from my lungs. I had wanted to run then, to get as far away as I could as quickly as I could. But I couldn't seem to make my feet move. I just stood there and stared open-mouthed. When she turned and saw me, she smiled, and I'd actually felt dizzy.

I looked up at her now, standing beside me, and felt that same warm, shivery sensation run through my body and heat pooled between my legs.

"Good morning.” She smiled in that way that lit up her smoky gray eyes and made my stomach clench, and proffered a tall cup. “How are you today?"

I took the cup in fingers that trembled. “I'm fine, thank you ... and you?” I cringed inwardly—I sounded like a tongue-tied fourteen year old.

"It's Friday, the sun is shining. Life is good.” She really had a beautiful smile. And skin that looked as soft and smooth as...

I took a quick drink of coffee to cut the thought off and immediately regretted it as the hot liquid scorched my tongue and throat. I gasped, the cup tilted and coffee splashed over my hand. “Fuck!” I put the cup on the table and shook the coffee off my hand. When I looked at her again, I knew that embarrassment had stained my cheeks a deep red. “Sorry,” I muttered. “I'm such a klutz.” Which, actually, was not true at all.

"Don't worry about it, here; let me see your hand.” Without waiting, she took my hand in hers and gently ran her thumb over the pinkened skin. I sucked in an involuntary breath, and her eyes met mine.

"Does it hurt?"

I shook my head. “No, no really, it's fine.” I felt a lame smile turn up my mouth and had to look away.

"I'll be right back.” She disappeared into the kitchen and returned a moment later with a small ice pack. “Here, this will cool the skin down.” I sat dumbly as she once again took my hand in hers and laid the ice pack on it. I was unable to suppress the shiver that ran through me, but I knew that it had more to do with the touch of her hand on mine than the temperature of the ice pack.

"You're not going to sue me, are you?” I looked up from our joined hands and found her watching me with a little smile on her wide, full lips.

I felt an answering smile tug at my own mouth. “No, I won't sue—where else could I get such service?” Wait, was that flirting? Did I just flirt with another woman? Well, that was new.

While she held the ice pack on my hand, her thumb made absent little circles over my knuckles. The movement did nothing to cool me down.

"Well, that's good then. I've gotten used to seeing you in here every morning. It would be a shame if you had to start your day with someone else.” Was it my imagination or did her pupils just get larger?

I suddenly found that I had difficulty swallowing. I had even greater difficulty tearing my gaze away from hers. “I should ... I should get to work.” My voice was low and rough-sounding when it emerged.

She nodded and removed the ice pack, then dabbed at the damp area of skin with a napkin. “There you go, no permanent damage. I could kiss it better if you like? My mom always swore that a kiss was the best cure for all ails.” A mischievous light entered her eye.

I think I might actually have made a gurgling sound, and my lips tingled inexplicably. “Your mom sounds like a smart woman.” Okay, that was definitely flirting.

"The smartest.” She still hadn't let go of my hand, and I found that I was in no hurry to retrieve it. “Are you busy tonight?"

The question caught me off guard. “Busy? Well, no, not really.” Oh God, was she going to ask me out on a date? I felt ready to start hyperventilating.

"Why don't you come on by here around seven then? A friend of mine will be reading from her new book. There should be a good crowd in, and you can even have a coffee on the house.” She grinned, and I felt like an idiot. I sent up a prayer of thanks that I hadn't said anything about a date.

I finally took back my hand. “That sounds great. I'll drop by if I can. But right now I should get to work. Thank you for...” I waved my scalded hand, quickly packed up the laptop and stood.

"No problem. I hope you can make it tonight.” Was I imagining an intensity in the words that was not there? I hadn't felt this confused since I actually was a teenager.

"I'll try.” Even as the words passed my lips I knew that nothing short of a natural disaster would keep me away. “Thank you for everything ... I'm sorry, I don't even know your name."

"Chaise. I'll look forward to seeing you.” She tucked her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and it had the effect of pushing her breasts forward. I really tried not to look, but I think my eyes might have slipped.

"My name's Anna.” Again with the gurgling.

Chaise smiled. “I know."

I was unbelievably, pathetically pleased that she knew my name. Not trusting my voice I just nodded and left, thankful that I didn't trip over my own feet on the way.

* * * *

It was an odd thing to discover at the age of twenty-eight that I wasn't quite as straight as I had always assumed myself to be. Odder still that I wasn't freaking out over the discovery. I'd lain awake at night for more hours than I cared to remember analyzing this, waiting for the panic to rise. But it never did. Was it going to be some kind of delayed reaction thing? Was I going to be sitting in a meeting one day and have the reality suddenly hit me, causing me to grab the nearest guy and fuck his brains out just to prove to myself that I was still all woman?

That evening, I stood in front of the mirror in my bedroom, trying to decide what to wear, and laughed. The guy who usually sat nearest to me in meetings was Oliver Driscoll, the senior partner in my law firm, a wizened old geezer who was pushing eighty and refusing steadfastly to retire. If I put the moves on him he'd probably keel over from a heart attack.

I'd decided to just go with it. When I was in college I had a friend who developed a drinking problem and ended up going to AA. After that her mantra was "Let go and let God". That seemed like a pretty sound philosophy to apply to any part of life.

That's not to say that I was all ready to go out and start marching in Pride parades, but I would keep my mind open and just let it happen, if indeed it was going to happen.

I finally settled on a pair of black slacks and a skinny, red sweater with a V-neck that showed off a nice amount of cleavage. I added a touch of my favorite Dolce and Gabbana perfume, finger mussed my short hair and checked my make up. When I was satisfied that I looked casual but smart, I collected my bag and headed out.

I arrived at Goddess at just after seven. It looked different in the evening—candles flickered on the tables, little fairy lights that I had never noticed before twinkled around the bar and on the topiary trees dotted around the place, and soft music played in the background. It was also pretty crowded—mostly with women. It had, of course, occurred to me that Goddess was a lesbian hangout, but that evening just confirmed it.

I was aware of eyes on me as I wove my way through the tables in search of an empty seat and caught a couple of very interested looks. I waited for the panic to kick in, but still nothing.

"Anna.” I turned at the sound of my name and saw Chaise waving to me from a table near the back. She beckoned me forward. “Why don't you join us?” she asked when I reached the table.

I looked at the other women gathered—five including Chaise and the red-headed waitress. “I don't want to intrude."

Chaise pulled out the chair beside her. “I invited you, didn't I?"

I nodded my thanks, sat down and hung my bag on the back of the chair.

"Let me introduce you to the ladies.” Chaise turned to the other women at the table. “Sophie you know, of course. Sophie's my partner."

That threw me. My heart sank to my toes with disappointment.

"Business partner,” Chaise added. “We co-own Goddess."

My heart did such a speedy 180 that I felt positively queasy. I don't think my relief showed in the smile I gave Sophie. The smile Sophie gave me, however, was so knowing that it made me flush.

Chaise gave no indication that she had sensed my feelings, but continued with her introductions. “This is Claire and Jo—they're partner partners.” She smiled. “And the one at the end there is Max—she's been trying to get into Sophie's pants for nearly a year, but Sophie's playing hard to get.” Laughter ran around the table.

"I'm wearing her down.” Max gave Sophie a theatrically lascivious look, and Sophie responded by fluttering her lashes like a Victorian virgin.

They were a fun group and quickly put me at my ease. At eight o'clock Max got up on the small stage in the corner, sat on a tall stool and picked up the paperback book on the table beside the stool. I instantly thought of the beatnik poets of the sixties and half expected Max to start snapping her fingers.

I'm ashamed to say that my attention drifted after she had read no more than a paragraph. It wasn't that the story wasn't gripping—I didn't hear enough to decide one way or the other. But I was intensely aware of Chaise's presence beside me. She was watching Max with a small smile on her lips and she smelled really nice.

She turned suddenly and caught me looking. I blushed—realized that I did this a lot in her presence—but just smiled. Chaise returned the smile and reached out to push a lock of hair behind my ear. It was an incredibly intimate gesture and made me a little breathless.

She leaned closer and whispered in my ear, “We're going on to a club later. Will you come? I'd really like to dance with you."

Goose bumps broke out on my skin where her warm breath touched. I nodded. “I'd like that."

She leaned closer still until her nose was touching my cheek, and I had to bite my lip to suppress a moan.

The sound of applause brought us apart, and we turned to find Max heading back to the table. Instead of going right to her seat she came over to me and handed me the book. “For when you're less distracted.” She winked and returned to her seat.

I would have felt awful, but Chaise was resting a hand on the back of my chair and one finger was drawing little circles around my shoulder blade.

* * * *

I'd never really been a clubbing person, so if it hadn't been for the promise of a dance with Chaise I wouldn't have been so willing to accept her invitation. I was pleasantly surprised, however, when we arrived at Angel and I discovered that it was a small, intimate supper club that seemed to cater exclusively to same-sex couples. We were shown to a table by a waiter who greeted Chaise and her friends by name, and soon afterwards he returned with a tray bearing six glasses of some kind of pink liquid. Chaise handed me a glass.

"A Halo—speciality of the house."

I took a sip. The fruity taste was pleasant, but the second it hit my throat it started to burn. I fanned my mouth and laughed. “Jeez, there is nothing angelic about that."

Chaise grinned. “It's an acquired taste. Would you prefer something else?"

"Is there something that could replace the lining of my throat?” I took another, smaller sip. “This will be fine, but I think I'll switch to beer after it."

"Good idea—we usually do.” She clinked our glasses together.

The music was soft enough that we were able to talk without having to shout at each other. I found out that Chaise was a former school teacher who had decided to change careers when cutbacks had left her without a job. Goddess had been conceived by the two friends over a bottle of tequila the night after Chaise received her severance check.

She wanted to know about my career, as did Sophie, only Sophie's interest lay more in the direction of the goriest crimes I had ever been involved in, and if I had ever defended anybody famous.

I got my dance just before midnight. Chaise stood up and held out her hand, tilting her head in the direction of the small dance floor. I tried not to let my nerves show as I took her hand and we found a space on the floor.

"So, who leads?” I wasn't quite sure where to put my hands.

Chaise took my hands and placed them on her shoulders, then put her own on my hips. “Why don't we just wing it?” She took the step that brought us flush against each other.

For a few minutes my feet felt a bit like lead. I just kind of shuffled about like I'd never seen a dance floor before, much less actually set foot on one.

"This really is all new to you, isn't it?” Chaise's hands were gently massaging my hips as she moved slowly against me.

"Dancing? I suppose I'm a bit rusty..."

"Dancing with another woman.” Her arm wound around my waist. “Anything with another woman."

I knew that there was no need to answer—everything about me must have screamed greenhorn.

"I like you Anna, I think that's fairly obvious.” I could hear the smile in her voice and my own lips turned up in response.

"I-I like you too, Chaise."

"Glad to hear it.” She leaned back far enough that we faced each others. “But I'm not looking to be the straight girl's little adventure.” She spoke softly, but her eyes were serious.

I nodded. “You're right, of course, I've never done anything with another woman. But I'm not looking for an adventure. I don't play games, Chaise—its not who I am.” I raised a hand from her shoulder and laid it on the side of her neck. “I've never been attracted to a woman before, but ever since I met you I can't stop thinking about you. I come into Goddess every day hoping that I'll see you.” I knew that I might be saying too much, but it felt like I needed to be completely honest.

She smiled. “You mean it's not for our fabulous coffee?"

"Oh, your coffee is fabulous. But it's you that kick starts my day.” Every time she smiled my own mouth seemed to want to mirror the action. I shrugged, embarrassed.

"Wow. That's-wow!” She didn't strike me as the type of person who was often at a loss for words.

"Is that a good wow or a ‘dear God I need to get away from this mad woman now’ wow?” I kept my tone as light as I could, but my pulse raced uncomfortably as I waited for her answer.

Chaise laughed and pulled me close again. It was a strange sensation to feel breasts pressed so close to my own, but certainly not a bad one. “It's definitely a good wow."

Relief flooded me. My hand on her neck found its way into her hair. I twined my fingers in the silky strands and breathed in her scent. “So, what happens now?"

"Whatever we want to happen.” One of her hands had slipped under the hem of my sweater and was stroking the skin above the waistband of my slacks. A pleasant tingle ran up my spine. “But I think we should take it slowly. I don't want to rush you into anything that you might not be ready for."

I nodded, pleased with her answer. “So, we ... date?” Oh God, did that sound horribly immature?

"I'd like that. How about dinner tomorrow night?” She nuzzled lightly at my ear

"Sounds good.” I tilted my head slightly to give her more access as she worked her way down to my neck. “Just one thing."

Chaise raised her head and looked at me. “What's that?"

Shit! I could feel myself blushing again. “Do you ... uh, do you kiss on the first date?"

"I wouldn't be averse to that.” One corner of her mouth lifted and her eyes glittered playfully.

I swallowed with some difficulty. “Because, you know, technically, I think this is actually our first date."

Her pupils definitely flared this time. “I think you might be right. Technically.” She raised one hand until it was resting at the nape of my neck, and almost in slow motion she lowered her head and brought our lips together.

It was different—where I was used to firm lips and a whisker rough jaw, Chaise was all soft and smooth. And hot. Oh, so very hot. My lips parted automatically, and she briefly dipped her tongue inside before quickly retreating. Wanting more, I pressed closer and a little moan escaped my throat. Chaise seemed to understand, because she touched her tongue to my bottom lip, ran it back and forth a few times, then slipped it into my mouth. Heat flooded my body, and the hand I had on her shoulder tightened.

It was over far too soon. When Chaise raised her head I let my eyes drift open and looked at her, feeling a little dazed. She wasn't looking too composed herself.

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again.” She grinned widely. “Wow!"

* * * *

Since the dawn of time, it seemed, every member of the Stuart family had gathered together on Saturday afternoon at my grandparents’ house to eat food stuffed with enough fat, salt and cholesterol to fell a herd of elephants—cooked, of course, by the women, and when the meal was over the woman would retreat to the kitchen to do the clean up and gossip while the men went out to the garden to play touch football or basketball or talk about cars or something equally manly. I'm the only woman in the family who hadn't married by twenty and become a mother by twenty years and nine months. Instead, I chose to go to college and on to law school. As a result I was something of an oddity in the family—though no less loved than any other member of the clan. I'd never really been able to join in the conversations about PTA meetings and the latest sale at Target, and I'd never been invited to volunteer any information about my career. It kept me on the edges a little and, while that didn't usually bother me, sometimes it made me a bit uncomfortable, like I didn't quite fit.

That Saturday I was more than a little distracted thinking about my upcoming date with Chaise and about the kiss we had shared—every time I thought about it my lips tingled and warmth spread from my belly through my blood. I couldn't remember ever feeling that level of anticipation leading up to a date with a man.

Everything with my family is a routine: arrive at gran's at twelve, cook dinner and set the table, eat at one, start the clean up at two, gather in the kitchen with the women to talk about the week—or Helen Johnson's new hairdo, or Marge Bellfield's ne'er-do-well son. I tried to smile when my cousin Lacy, holding her new baby son like some kind of trophy, smiled indulgently at me and told me not to worry, that women where having babies in their forties now. At about three my mother would start telling me that I was too thin, that I should let my hair grow out, that I was working too hard and that I wasn't getting any younger and it wasn't good for a woman to wait too long to have her first child. Gran would then chip in and update me on the status of the single men in the neighborhood. By half past three I was ready to leave. I usually managed to escape by about four, never empty handed. Mom and gran always loaded me down with enough food to freeze to keep me going through the week.

It wasn't the best part of my week, but it was four hours out of my life spent with people who loved me and wanted the best for me, so it was never really a chore.

It was nearly five when I arrived home that day. I was meeting Chaise at the restaurant at seven, so I decided to have a long bath with a glass of Chardonnay and a few Godiva chocolates. I was feeling pretty mellow by the time I sat at the dressing table putting on my make-up. I took more time and care than usual even though I just applied my normal light foundation, a touch of eye shadow, mascara and lipstick. I tousled my hair with a little mousse and spritzed on some perfume. I had splurged on a new outfit—a simple, black dress with thin straps and some beads on the bodice that just brushed my knees. I added strappy back sandals, a beaded purse and a deep red shawl to add some color.

I took a taxi and arrived at the restaurant, Mango, a few minutes after seven. The Maitre d’ showed me to a table where Chaise was already waiting. She stood when she saw me coming, and quite literally stole the breath from my lungs. She looked stunning in a figure hugging, red dress with her blonde hair glowing under the lights. She smiled and when I was close enough she leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.

"If we weren't taking things slowly I'd throw you down and fuck you right here.” Her voice was a soft whisper at my ear.

I shivered and bit the inside of my lip. “I think I might let you."

When we were seated across from each other, the Maitre d’ nodded politely and summoned a waiter.

"Would you like something to drink while you make your decision?” The young man handed us each a leather-bound menu.

We ordered a bottle of Chardonnay, and the waiter left us to consider the menu. I studied the menu with fake intensity, my eyes occasionally glancing over the top in Chaise's direction. The third time, our eyes met and I smiled a little sheepishly.

"Don't you just hate those first awkward moments of a first date?” I asked.

Chaise lowered her menu. “You're forgetting that we've already had our first date. And our first kiss” She gave me a very private smile.

At her words I felt a little tingle of desire run through my body and bit the inside of my lip.

A glint of mischief entered her eyes. “You're not cold, are you?"

Confused, I frowned. The temperature in the restaurant was pleasantly comfortable.

Chaise's eyes dropped briefly, and I automatically followed the direction of her gaze. My eyes came to rest on my breasts; specifically my nipples pushing almost demandingly at the material of my dress. I felt myself blush hotly and closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't tease. But I do love the way you blush” I felt her hand touch mine and opened my eyes in time to see her fingers pass lightly over my knuckles before retreating. She grinned and picked up her menu again. “I'll be good."

I could still feel her touch on my skin. “Not too good, I hope?” I hadn't planned the words, but I didn't regret them when they came out.

She raised an eyebrow, but the waiter arrived before she could reply.

Chaise ordered the chicken primavera while I chose a seafood salad. By the time we were halfway through our meal all awkwardness was gone—of course that could have had something to do with the bottle of wine we shared. But I was sure that the pleasant buzz thrumming in my blood had less to do with the wine than it did the company.

Chaise was indeed good company. She talked enthusiastically about her friends, about Goddess, and about her baby—a red Ducati motorcycle. She was also genuinely interested in what I had to say; she asked me about my work and my family and listened intently while I spoke. By the time we had eaten a dessert of raspberry crème brulee, and the bill arrived, I was surprised to find that we had been sitting there for nearly two hours. I was reluctant to see the evening end, so when Chaise suggested a night cap at Angel, I readily accepted. Plus, as sappy as it sounds, I had already come to think of Angel as our place. We'd had our first dance there, our first kiss.

The house band was playing something soft and bluesy. We danced several times, real up close and personal, not a breath of air could get between us kind of dances. It was after one when we finally left Angel. I desperately wanted to invite Chaise back to my place, but common sense—and the fact that I wouldn't have known what to do with her once we got there—held my tongue, and we shared a brief but satisfying kiss before exchanging phone numbers and getting taxis to go home.

When I got back to my apartment I closed the door behind me, leaned back against it and grinned hugely.

"Best date ever!"

* * * *

On Monday I had to leave town for two days to take a deposition. I was kept busy enough that, aside from a few quick phone calls, I didn't have much time to talk to Chaise. So, by the time I got home on Wednesday I was looking forward to seeing her so much that just the thought of it made my skin tingle with anticipation. Had I ever been so eager to see a man that my fingers itched with the need to touch, that I found myself drifting as I remembered the taste of his lips? I certainly couldn't recall a time when my needs and desires had been so near the surface. I resisted the urge to go right to the coffee shop the minute I got off the plane, but instead went home, threw off my business suit, showered and dressed in a pair of linen trousers and a soft, lilac sweater.

I arrived at Goddess at about six-thirty and found Sophie going around the tables lighting candles. She looked up as I entered and smiled widely.

"Hi, honey, good to see you again. Chaise is in the office. Why don't you go on through. I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you.” She pointed over her shoulder toward the back of the room.

"Thanks, Sophie.” I headed for the office, my pulse fluttering like a nervous bird, and when I reached the door I raised my hand and knocked hesitantly.

"C'mon in.” Just the sound of her voice was enough to make my skin tingle. I pushed open the door and stepped into the small office. Chaise looked up from the paperwork spread out on the desk, and when she saw me her face lit up in a smile that settled all my nerves and told me without a word that she had missed me as much as I had missed her. She got up from her seat, rounded the desk and pulled me into a tight hug.

"God, you are a sight for sore eyes.” She looked at me like she hadn't seen me for three years instead of three days, then lowered her head and touched her lips to mine. I leaned into the kiss and sighed my pleasure. It was a soft kiss, and I sensed that Chaise was holding back so as not to push me too hard. But the truth was, I wanted to be pushed, just a little bit. I raised a hand and wrapped it around the back of her neck, pressed closer and opened my mouth just enough to run my tongue along her bottom lip. She let out a little moan, and her lips parted. The tip of her tongue touched mine, and I gasped as pleasure zinged my brain. Any reservations I might have had vanished in an instant. I coaxed her tongue into my mouth and sucked on it, felt her hands tighten in the material of my sweater at my back. When one of her hands slid down and cupped my ass, I had to pull away and drag in a breath. I looked at her, my breasts heaving with the effort of breathing, my body hot with raw sexual need. Her gray eyes were nearly black, and her eyelids looked heavy, her cheeks flushed.

She raised a hand and ran her thumb over my bottom lip. “Hungry?” Her voice was lower than normal, a little husky.

"Yes.” The word came out like a hiss, and I lowered my eyes to her mouth; her lips parted and puffy from the kiss.

Her mouth turned up in a smile. “I mean for food."

A few days before I would have blushed and stuttered, now, however, I snickered and laid my forehead on her shoulder. “That would be good too."

She laughed and hugged me again. I already felt so at home in her arms. When she pulled away she linked our fingers together and we left the office together. Chaise called out to Sophie, pointed up, and at Sophie's nod she led me to a door tucked away in the corner with a sign hanging on it reading Private. Chaise unlocked the door, ushered me through and locked it behind us. We climbed a flight of narrow stairs that opened onto a big, open plan apartment. The natural brick walls were decorated with framed photographs and fabric hangings. Three sofas, festooned with cushions of all shapes, colors and fabrics were grouped together around a round, glass topped coffee table in the center of the room, and rugs that looked hand woven were scattered around the hardwood floor. At the far end, under a set of wide arched windows, was a long counter that clearly designated the kitchen area.

I turned to Chaise. “It's lovely—you live here?"

She smiled and nodded. “It's convenient for work. Why don't you have a seat while I go and change, then we can go out for something to eat?"

I sat down on one of the big, comfy sofas and looked up at her, surprised. “We're going out?"

Still holding my hand, she grinned. “I would love to cook something for you, but I'd rather we didn't spend the rest of the evening in the emergency room. My culinary skills leave a little to be desired. I know a great little place on the river.” She touched her lips to my knuckles before letting my hand go.

I looked down at myself. “I'm not really dressed for going out."

"Actually, what you're wearing is perfect. I thought we could take the bike?” She arched an eyebrow in silent question when my head popped back up.

"The bike? As in the motorcycle?” I think my gulp might have been audible. “Uh, okay...” I straightened my shoulders, firmed up my voice and smiled. “Sure, why not?"

Chaise was quiet for a moment as she stood there looking at me, a strange light in her eyes.

"What?” I asked a little hesitantly.

She shook her head. “Just you. Nothing fazes you for long, does it? I think you might have an adventurer's heart.” She smiled and reached out to touch her fingertips to my cheek.

I turned my head into the caress, but could find no reply to her words.

Chaise disappeared through a door, which I assumed led to her bedroom, and reappeared ten minutes later dressed in jeans, a heavy cotton shirt over a white t-shirt and with her hair lying in a thick braid down the centre of her back. She was carrying two crash helmets, one black, the other red. She handed me the black one and led the way down another flight of stairs to the garage. She pressed a button and the door opened automatically, letting the evening light flood in and glint off the shiny paintwork of the motorcycle. She rolled the bike out into the narrow lane at the side of the building and swung her leg over it.

"Okay?"

After only the briefest of pauses, I nodded, put on the crash helmet and got on the bike behind Chaise. She seemed to sense that I didn't know what to do with my hands, because she reached back, brought them around her waist and linked them together at her stomach. I jumped, startled when she turned the key and the engine rumbled to life. We moved slowly along the uneven surface of the lane, then pulled out onto the main road. When Chaise picked up speed I clutched at her, my body tense. I quickly realized that Chaise was a better than competent driver. She controlled the bike with the confidence and ease of experience, weaving effortlessly through the last of the rush hour traffic. I was a touch jittery on the city streets, and my grip on Chaise's waist was perhaps a little tighter than was strictly necessary, but if it bothered her she didn't show it. When we got outside the city, onto the quieter country roads, the tension in my muscles started to recede, and I was gradually able to relax and enjoy the way the warm evening air whipped at my clothes, the feel of Chaise's back against my breasts, and the vibrations of the bike running through my body.

Chaise brought us to a little cafe-bar. We sat on the terrace, shared a pizza, drank club soda and watched the pleasure boats glide up and down the water. It was a perfect summer evening; a warm breeze rustled the leaves on the trees, music drifted from the boats, and the high-spirited chatter of the cafe's other patrons all combined to create a relaxed and carefree ambience.

We talked with the ease of old friends about nothing of any real consequence, just the trivial little things that such languid evenings inspired: our favorite books, which stores we liked to shop at, and we discovered a mutual love of Saturday morning kids TV. For a moment I had a vision of the future—Chaise and I sitting on the sofa in jammies, eating Cheerios and watching Scooby Doo. I smiled at my own silliness.

When the sky started turning shades of violet and deep red, we headed back to the city. It was a little cooler on the return journey and when we got off the bike in front of Chaise's garage, I felt chilled. She came around the bike to me and rubbed her hands up and down my arms.

"Why don't you come upstairs for a coffee to warm you up, then I'll walk you to your car?"

I nodded and followed her up the stairs.

While Chaise prepared the coffee, I took a seat on one of the sofas, scrunching back into the corner and hugging a fluffy cushion to me in an effort to warm up.

"I should have given you more warning about the bike; given you the chance to bring a jacket.” Chaise handed me a mug of coffee and sat at the other end of the sofa with hers.

"Don't worry about it. Besides, you didn't have a jacket either.” I smiled to take the guilty look off her face.

"My shirt was quite a bit heavier than your sweater, though. Next time, you can borrow my spare leather jacket."

Next time. I liked that. I smiled and took a sip of coffee, but as the liquid hit my taste buds, the smile turned into a grimace and I had to fight the urge to spit it back into the cup. I managed to swallow it, but couldn't hide my distaste.

I put the cup on the table and turned to Chaise, grinning. “I will, however, accept an apology for that coffee. That has to be some of the worst coffee I have ever tasted. I know you said your culinary skills weren't great but, damn woman, you own a coffee shop!"

Chaise had the decency to look embarrassed. She put her cup beside mine on the table. “Yeah, well, I don't actually make the coffee downstairs, I just shmooze the customers and take their money."

The color in her cheeks was adorable. “Hmm, I'd stick to that if I were you.” I dodged to the side to avoid the cushion that she aimed at my head and it landed harmlessly on the floor behind me.

"I could get you some tea if you prefer?” She raised one eyebrow. “I can make tea that doesn't double as rodent poison."

"I think I'll test that claim another day. I should probably go. I have a pile of paperwork awaiting me.” I pushed the cushion off my lap and eased out of the sofa.

"I had a really good time tonight. Come on, I'll walk you to your car.” Chaise got to her feet and stood in front of me. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips, then turned and walked toward the main stairs, but I couldn't seem to move to follow her. My tongue came out to touch my lips, and I could taste her there. I wanted more.

At the top of the stairs Chaise turned and looked at me, her confusion clear. “Anna? Are you all right?"

I bit the inside of my lip and took a couple of deep, fortifying breaths. “I-uh, well...” I wiped suddenly sweaty palms on my thighs. “I could always go into the office earlier in the morning; do the paperwork then."

Chaise moved slowly back to me, as if afraid that I might bolt if she made a sudden move. “You could do that. You'd miss the rush hour traffic—that's a plus right there."

"Yeah, rush hour can be a bitch.” My voice sounded a little breathy, and I was finally able to move, taking a step toward Chaise.

"So, you can stay ... for tea?” The naked desire in her eyes made my heart kick against my chest.

I took one more step. “Actually, I prefer tea with breakfast."

She drew in a long, unsteady breath. “Are you sure?"

I nodded and swallowed past the sudden tightness in my throat. “Scared spitless, but yes, I'm sure.” I tried to smile, but nerves got the better of me.

Chaise placed the gentlest of kisses on my forehead then took my hand and smiled. “We'll only do what you're comfortable with. You say stop, we stop. Okay?” Her voice was quiet, reassuring.

I tightened my fingers around hers. “Okay.” This time I managed to smile, and it was real.

I followed Chaise as she led me across the apartment to the bedroom. My stomach was churning and my pulse was racing like I had run a marathon, but there was also excitement and desire unlike anything I had ever experienced.

In the bedroom, Chaise let go of my hand and went to switch on the lamps on either side of the big brass bed. Soft light gave the room a golden glow, and Chaise came back to me where I was still standing by the door. She rested her hands on my hips and lowered her head until her lips were touching my jaw. I automatically tilted my head to the side, and Chaise took it as an invitation. She nibbled and licked her way from my chin to the lobe of my ear and sucked on it until I moaned and goose bumps broke out over my body. My hands gripped her shirt at the waist and my head fell back, suddenly too heavy for my neck.

Chaise slipped a hand under the hem of my sweater, ran her fingers up my back until she reached my bra. Her thumb caressed the skin under the material, but she didn't try to unclip it. I arched my back and the movement pushed my breasts against hers. Heat instantly flooded me and my nipples hardened, pushing uncomfortably against the lace of my bra.

"Chaise, I need ... I want...” My brain felt thick, clouded.

"What is it, baby? Tell me what you want.” She dragged her nails lightly down my spine, and I shivered.

"I want...” What did I want? I wanted this rushing, tingling feeling in my body to continue, I wanted skin on skin, heat and slick. “Everything. Oh, God, Chaise. I want it all.” My words ended on a sharp intake of breath when she moved the hand that had been stroking my back around to cup my breast. I pushed into the touch instinctively and moaned when she dragged her thumb across the rigid tip. The need to touch her nearly overwhelmed me. In movements that were almost frantic, I tugged at the buttons on the front of her shirt, gave a little laugh of relief when I found that they were actually studs and came apart easily. I laid my hands flat on the soft material of her T-shirt at her stomach and felt the heat of her body soak into my skin. I raised my hands to her shoulders and pushed at the shirt. Chaise dropped her hands and let the shirt fall to the floor. I looked up then and saw that she was watching me intently.

"Touch me, Anna. I want to feel your hands on me.” Her voice was thick, almost like I was hearing it through cotton wool. She took my hands in hers, lowered them until they were resting at the bottom of her T-shirt. “Take it off. Undress me."

At her quietly urging words, I felt moisture gather between my legs and the muscles low in my stomach tightened. Not trusting my own voice, I simply nodded and took hold of the T-shirt. My hands trembled as I raised the cotton, exposing her torso an inch at a time. The backs of my fingers brushed lightly over her skin and it felt warm and smooth. I tugged the shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor, then moved my hands to the waistband of her jeans. I unbuttoned and unzipped them and pushed them over the gentle curve of Chaise's hips and down her thighs. When they fell to her ankles she kicked the jeans to the side and stood before me in only matching panties and bra in pale blue satin and lace. I'd seen women in this state of undress before, of course, in the changing rooms at stores, the locker room at the gym, but I'd never experienced this intense desire to touch, to explore.

I raised my hand slowly and laid it on her stomach, felt the muscles there flutter under my fingers, and almost with a will of its own, my other hand, moving just as slowly, eased up over her midriff and stopped at the curve of her breast. I saw that she was drawing in deep breaths, and I looked at her face again.

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing.” A huff of self-deprecating laughter escaped me.

Chaise smiled. “Just do whatever feels right. Your fingers feel so good on my skin. I want to feel them everywhere."

I wanted that, too, I realized. I wanted to touch every inch of her; I wanted to know her in a way that I had never wanted to know any man. I lowered my eyes to rest on her breasts; high and proud. Were they as firm as they looked? I swallowed audibly and brought one hand up to curve around one breast. It was the perfect fit for my hand, both firm and soft at the same time, and I could feel her nipple pressing insistently into my palm. Next to her smooth, soft skin, the lace of the bra felt almost rough, and I wanted it gone. I moved my fingers to the clasp nestled between her breasts and looked up at her for permission.

Chaise nodded jerkily. “Please, God—"

I realized then that she had hardly moved this whole time, but instead had stood still to allow me to explore her body. She was letting me set the pace.

I flicked the clasp and it parted, the two halves of the bra falling to the sides to expose Chaise to my hungry eyes; my eager hands. I bit my lip and ran my knuckles lightly over the nipples practically begging for my attention. Chaise gasped, and I looked up to see her head fall back and her lips part. The pink tip of her tongue came out to moisten her lips, and a shiver of pure want shook my body.

Without moving my gaze from her face, I covered her breasts with my hands and squeezed gently while I circled my thumbs around her nipples. I was rewarded with a moan from Chaise that struck me right at my core. The need to taste assailed me, and I leaned in to touch my mouth to the slender line of her throat. I let my tongue peek out just enough to taste the salt of perspiration that had broken out on her skin. She brought her hands up then to rest on my waist, her fingers clenching in the material of my sweater.

I spent a moment laving at the place in her throat where her pulse beat strongly before moving down, licking and kissing until I reached her breast. Chaise sighed when my tongue touched the very tip of her breast, swirled around it, and when I sucked it into my mouth she cursed and her body jerked against me, her hands coming up to fist in my hair. Emboldened by her response, I lowered my hand and skimmed my fingers across the elastic of her panties. I felt her stomach twitch, and her breathing became loud in the otherwise quiet room. I dipped one finger inside to tangle in her pubic hair, a little further and I encountered her moist heat.

"Anna!” It sounded like it had been torn from her.

I raised my head and looked at her. Her face was flushed and her eyes hooded. This was for me? This was how this beautiful woman was reacting to my touch? An emotion I could only call joy unfurled inside me.

I must have gotten lost in my thoughts, because suddenly Chaise was looking at me with curiosity in her eyes.

I smiled and shrugged. “You're very beautiful."

"And you say you don't know what you're doing?” She raised a hand and gently caressed my cheek before lacing our fingers together and leading me over to the bed.

Chaise sat down on the edge of the bed, and with her hands on my hips, she brought me to stand in front of her. She raised her eyes to lock with mine and slid her hands under the hem of my sweater, pushed it slowly up my torso and urged me wordlessly to remove it. I took the bottom of the sweater and pulled it over my head, and as I tossed it to the side, I felt Chaise's fingers unbuttoning and unzipping my pants. She pushed them over my hips, and I stepped out of my shoes, kicking both shoes and pants aside. My breathing became labored as I watched her hands move over my body, her touch the lightest of caresses, her eyes hot as they followed the movement of her hands.

"Take off your bra for me.” She traced the elastic of my panties with one finger while her other hand stroked up and down my thigh.

I reached behind me and unhooked my bra, but instead of letting it fall to the floor, I held it against me as the straps slid down my arms, feeling suddenly bashful. My face felt hot when she looked at me questioningly, and I slowly lowered the filmy material.

"I'm not all that well-endowed,” I said, feeling the need to say something, perhaps to keep her eyes on my face.

But she lowered her eyes and at the same time raised one hand to curve around my breast. “You're beautiful. Perfect.” Her voice was soft, and the thumb that caressed my nipple was gentle, but I still gasped at the sensations coursing through me. “Sit on my lap.” With her hands on my hips, she guided me until I was straddling her, my hands on her shoulders for balance.

"I'm going to taste you, baby, okay? If you don't like it, just tell me to stop."

I nodded as my body trembled with a combination of nerves and desire. Chaise leaned forward and licked a strip from the curve of my jaw to the tip of my breast. Her breath was hot on my skin, but still I shivered, and when she took my nipple into her mouth, encircled it with her tongue, I moaned and arched my back, pushing ever closer.

She sucked on me until I thought I couldn't stand it any longer, then she stopped, and I groaned in complaint. But she just moved onto my other nipple, paying it equal attention, rasping her tongue over it, lightly scraping it with her teeth and then sucking soothingly. Her hands were resting on my ass, kneading and massaging while my own hands clutched at her shoulders and my breath came in short bursts.

When she finally lifted her head I was gasping for air.

"Why don't we lie down together?” she suggested.

I stood up on shaky legs and we got onto the bed. Chaise urged me to lie back against the pillows and began to drag her fingers lightly over my body. When she reached the elastic of my panties, she looked up at me. “Lift your hips for me."

I complied, and she peeled the material from my body and tossed the scrap aside. I was now laid out before her, completely naked and exposed, and I could feel the blush all over my body. I had to fight the urge to cover myself with my hands.

Chaise lowered her head again and placed sucking kisses over my stomach, dipping her tongue briefly into my belly button and making me giggle, then moving down to kiss and lick at my thighs.

With gentle pressure she coaxed me to open my legs so that she could get to the skin of my inner thighs. Her mouth moved gradually north, and with every inch higher she got, she urged me to open my legs a little further until finally my feet were planted flat on the bed and my legs had fallen completely open, wanton and inviting.

At the first touch of her tongue on the lips of my pussy I bucked and let out a yell that sounded nothing like me.

Her fingers parted my lips and her tongue slipped in further, flexing and licking, teasing over my clit until I stopped breathing altogether, my hands grabbing handfuls of the comforter. I squeezed my eyes shut as wave after wave of sensation washed over me. Her teeth grazed my clit, and she pushed a finger inside me. I was groaning and humping against her like a whore, my thighs closing around her head, heart thumping like it was going to burst out of my chest.

I felt my orgasm begin in the trembling of my thighs and the tightening of my belly, and then suddenly I was soaring, my back arched, my head light as a feather, the sound of my own blood rushing in my ears. I collapsed back onto the bed, dragging in great gulps of air.

I felt Chaise move up the bed and settle beside me, her hand gently stroking my convulsing stomach muscles. I turned my head and, with some difficulty, opened my eyes.

"Is that the best you can do?” I asked, and my mouth curved up in a lazy smile. Chaise snickered.

I turned on my side so that we were facing each other. When my breathing had returned to something like normal, I ran my hand along her body, from her shoulder to her hip and let it slide down until I was cupping her mound. I wasn't exactly sure what to do, but I knew how I liked to be touched—how I touched myself, so I decided to just trust my instincts. I pressed my fingers in until I was touching her clit, flicked my nail lightly over it a few times. From the soft moans coming from Chaise, I could tell that I wasn't doing anything majorly wrong, so I continued to play with her clit, teasing and rubbing, eliciting mews of pleasure from her. The expression on her face became tight and concentrated, and she gnawed on her lower lip. When she came it was truly a sight to behold. Her eyes closed and her mouth fell open. Her face flushed and she groaned, long and low.

Some time later her eyes flickered open and a goofy smile lit up her face. “You know what? I think I might have to keep you."

I laughed, but felt a flutter of excitement in my stomach. “Don't expect me to put up too much of a fight."

Chaise lifted a hand and touched my cheek, her fingers gently stroking. “Oh, but just think of the making up."

* * * *

Chaise is ticklish. I discovered this the next morning as I ran my hand from her knee to her hip while we were stretched out on the sofa, necking like a couple of teenagers. What had started out as a quick cup of tea before I had to rush off to change for work had fast become a full on make out session, with me lying on top of Chaise, her hands cupping and massaging my ass while she delved her tongue into my mouth.

She laughed into my mouth as my fingers trailed along the skin of her leg, and shivered.

"Hey, did I just discover one of your secrets?” I grinned and repeated the movement, delighted when she squirmed under me and giggled.

"If you tell anyone else, the consequences will be dire.” She brought her hand down in a playful smack on my panty-clad ass, and it was my turn to shiver. Her eyes widened and a light of mischief entered their smoky depths. “Well, well, well. Looks like I'm not the only one with secrets."

I felt my face heat with embarrassment and tucked it into the place where her neck met her shoulder.

"Does the big successful career woman like the occasional little spanking? This might be fun to explore.” She tagged her question with another light slap to my ass. I moaned in spite of myself. I could hear the laughter in her voice and raised my head to smile sheepishly down at her.

"I can tell you're going to be such a bad influence on me. I'm a good Catholic girl, you know.” Her raised eyebrow made me snicker, and I pushed up, getting off the sofa, and Chaise. “Now, unfortunately, I really do have to go.

She took one of my hands in hers. “Will I see you tonight?” The gentle sweep of her thumb over the back of my hand raised goose bumps on my flesh.

Looking at her, still stretched out on the sofa, dressed only in a tank top and panties, I felt my breath catch in my chest and heat gather between my thighs. “Yes.” It sounded more like a sigh.

She brought her free hand up and slipped it between my legs to cup me through my underwear. I gasped and tightened my thighs around her hand, hips moving, searching for friction.

"I wish we could spend all day in bed together,” she said, voice throaty and dark.

"Fuck, I would love that.” I laid my hand on top of hers and pressed it closer to me. I caught sight of the clock in the kitchen then and groaned. “I have to go.” There could be no mistaking the regret in my voice.

Chaise dropped her hand and got up to stand in front of me. “It's my turn to work late tonight, why don't you come by? Maybe it will be a quiet night and we can just sit in the corner and make out."

"Should I...” I faltered for a second before taking a deep breath and continuing. “Should I bring my toothbrush?"

The smile that lifted the corners of Chaise's mouth made my stomach flutter. “Perhaps a change of clothes so that you don't have to leave so early tomorrow?"

Thinking of how we could spend the time it would take me to go home and change, I nodded. “Definitely."

I dressed quickly, and we shared a lingering kiss at the door before I had to rush off. My mind was already fast-forwarding to that evening, when I would see her again.

* * * *

I love my job, I really do. But that turned out to be the longest damn day of my career. For the first time I found myself clock-watching, willing the hands to move faster, positive that they were deliberately trying to torment me by going slower.

In spite of my lack of concentration, I somehow managed to get caught up on the paperwork I had accumulated while I was away and was hoping to cut out a little early—just after four—when I was called into an unexpected meeting by the office manager, Amanda Reid, and forced to spend two hours listening to her bemoan the cost of toilet tissue, the misuse of stationary and the ongoing contract negotiations with the cleaning service. I found myself thinking that if this woman had a hot lover waiting for her at home then none of us would be wasting our time talking about the bulk cost of legal pads.

By the time I got out the door it was after six, but I was grateful that I had thought ahead and packed an overnight bag that morning, so I was able to head right to Goddess rather than having to go home first.

Anticipation coiled in my stomach the closer I got, and as I walked along the cobbled lane the click of my heels was like the rapid fire of a machine gun.

I frowned when I arrived at Goddess and found that the doors were locked and it was dark inside. I looked up at the windows of Chaise's apartment before rounding the building to the side entrance to the apartment. I had knocked only once when I heard the sound of footsteps hurrying down the stairs. I tingled as I waited for the door to open.

But it wasn't Chaise rushing down the stairs to meet me; it was Sophie who opened the door, her expression a great deal less perky than usual.

I didn't have time to ask what was going on before I found myself virtually dragged inside.

"She wouldn't let me call you.” She guided me up the stairs with a firm hand on my back.

With no clue what was going on, and no option but to climb the stairs or fall on my face, I headed up to the apartment. I was surprised to find there was quite a crowd gathered; Jo and Claire were sitting together on one of the sofas, Max was perched on the coffee table, a middle aged woman was moving around in the kitchen, and a man of about the same age was leaning against the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. Everyone was silent and frowning.

My confusion grew by the second until my eyes came to rest on Chaise, seated on the sofa, her right arm in a sling. I dropped my briefcase and overnight bag and rushed across the room.

"What on earth happened?” I reached out to touch her, but stopped myself mid-movement, afraid that I might hurt her.

Chaise wrapped the fingers of her good hand around my forearm and tugged me down to sit beside her on the sofa. “I had a little spill on the bike.” She smiled in a way that I'm sure she hoped was reassuring, but her eyes were narrowed, and I wondered if she was in pain. “But the way this lot is acting, you would think I had one foot in the grave and the other one on a banana skin!"

I noticed that the knuckles of her left hand were grazed. I lifted the hand and smoothed my thumb lightly over the abrasions. “But how? You're such a good driver."

"Some moron in a Hummer thought he could sweep me off my feet—and he did; right into the gutter. I'm okay, baby, really.” She leaned in and rested her forehead against my temple.

I lifted my hand and ran it through her hair. I realized that my stomach was tight with tension, and not the pleasurable kind of just minutes before. “We'll sue him; by the time I finish with him he'll owe you enough to buy yourself a Harley for every day of the week."

"You say the sweetest things!” She grinned and nudged me with her shoulder. I couldn't help but return the smile.

"Would you two like us to leave?” We looked up in unison, and I saw the unfamiliar woman standing in front of us, a glass of water in one hand, a pill bottle in the other, and a look of mischief in her gray eyes that was so like Chaise's that I knew I was looking at her mother.

Chaise rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, I've been trying to kick you out for an hour.” There was no heat in her words, and her lips twitched at the corners.

"Oh, take your painkillers you ungrateful brat.” Her mother handed over the water and tipped two pills out of the bottle. She turned her attention on me, and I tried not to shrink back under her regard. She seemed to examine me for a couple of minutes with shrewd gray eyes, and I could feel the tension in my stomach increasing by the second. I wanted to reach for Chaise's hand, grip onto it like a life preserver.

I heard Chaise sigh. “Mom, you're freaking out my girlfriend. Why don't you just say ‘Hello Anna, how nice it is to meet you' and go home? Dad, can't you make her go away?” Her voice took on a whiny little girl tone, and I would have smiled, but I was too stunned by the use of the girlfriend word to move—even her mother's continued scrutiny wasn't quite as frightening as it had been a moment before.

She called me her girlfriend. I was a girlfriend. I had a girlfriend! I was terrified and exhilarated at the same time.

"Sorry, honey, I've been trying to get rid of her for twenty years, but every time I turn around? There she is.” Chaise's dad gave a very theatrical sigh, and laughter broke out in the room.

Clearly used to such teasing, Chaise's mom didn't even blink an eye. Instead she smiled. “Hello, Anna. How nice it is to meet you.” But instead of going home, she sat down beside me on the sofa, clearly intent on more than an exchange of pleasantries. Chaise groaned and let her head fall back against the cushions.

Her dad laughed again and pushed away from the wall, coming toward the sofa. “Come on you lot, let's get out of here and let Anna look after Chaise.” He leaned down and placed a kiss on Chaise's forehead before turning to me. “Anna, why don't you come to dinner at the weekend? Pasta for dinner and an interrogation for desert.” He grinned, and I found myself returning the smile.

"I'd like that, thank you, Mr. Parker."

"Jack, please. And the Grand Inquisitor here is Estelle.” He received a smack to the thigh from his wife, but just grabbed her hand and raised it to his lips before tugging her to her feet.

Estelle allowed herself to be pulled to her feet and settled comfortably under the arm that draped over her shoulders. “I'll look forward to seeing you again, Anna. Perhaps next time we'll actually get to exchange a sentence or two."

I smiled. “That will be nice."

A soft laugh escaped Estelle. “Don't look so terrified, honey. I won't bite you. I'll leave that to my daughter."

"Mom!” Chaise groaned loudly. “Dad, will you please...?"

I knew that I was flushing wildly, but I couldn't help laughing when Estelle winked with exaggerated lewdness at her daughter.

Jack managed to usher his wife from the apartment, and after the guys all took the time to hug Chaise and me, they followed her parents.

When the apartment was quiet, I turned to Chaise and felt my stomach clench uncomfortably at the sight before me. She was leaning back against the cushions, her eyes closed with little white lines radiating out from the edges. I lifted a hand and stroked the soft skin of her cheek.

"So, what's the damage?” I tried to keep my voice light, but my hand was trembling, and for some reason my throat felt like there was a lump in it.

Chaise opened her eyes and smiled at me, raising her good hand to twine our fingers together. She squeezed my hand. “I dislocated my shoulder in the fall and they had to pop it back into place. Aside from that I just have a few bumps and bruises. I'm okay, baby. Don't look so worried."

Feeling stupidly like I wanted to cry, I could only nod.

"But I wouldn't say no to a Harley, if you think you can pull it off.” She was grinning, and the light was back in her eyes.

I laughed—a sound that was more of a sob—and leaned in to press my forehead against hers. “Just say the word, and by the time I get through with the prick he'll have to sell his plasma just to buy his next meal."

"Sounds like a plan. Now, why don't you give me a kiss and help me into the bedroom?” She rolled her eyes. “Not that I'll be much use to you when we get there. Shit, and I was looking forward to fucking that big ole brain of yours out tonight—I should sue him for that alone.” She looked so disgusted that I had to laugh, even as I leaned in and planted and unsatisfying, chaste kiss on her mouth.

I helped her to her feet and through to the bedroom. Between us we got her into a T-shirt and shorts and settled under the covers, but I could tell from the deep crease between her eyebrows that she was in pain, so while the meds kicked in, I made her some soup and fed it to her until her eyes began to droop. When I returned from washing up the dish in the kitchen, Chaise was asleep, her breathing deep and even. Kicking off my shoes and hanging my jacket on the back of a chair, I curled up in the chair and switched on the television to watch the news with the sound muted.

When the only illumination in the room was the light from the TV, I felt my own eyes start to get heavy. Pushing out of the chair, I quietly stripped down to my underwear and slipped under the covers beside Chaise. I worried that I might inadvertently hurt her in the night, but the need to be close to her was strong enough that I would happily have sacrificed sleep just to lie there beside her; to feel her warmth and smell her scent. I turned on my side and laid a hand on her flat stomach, content to just look at her and marvel at this shift in my life.

* * * *

In an attempt to get Chaise to rest, Sophie banned her from Goddess until the sling was removed. However, Chaise seemed incapable of sitting still for more than a few minutes at a time, and, almost like a sick child, she was very easily bored.

She refused my offer to take a couple of days off work, insisting that it wasn't necessary, then spent most of the day on the phone with me.

The guys came over to Chaise's most evenings, and we played poker, Monopoly and Scrabble while eating copious amounts of pizza.

We went to her parents for dinner and it wasn't nearly as painful as I expected; Jack and Estelle were lovely people who clearly adored their daughter and each other. While Jack cooked dinner—Chaise apparently had inherited her culinary skills from her mother—Estelle took great delight in digging out old photo albums and guiding me through the pictorial history of Chaise Elizabeth Parker.

I was ridiculously pleased when I turned around in court one day, a week later, and found Chaise sitting at the back, sling-free, a big grin on her face and giving me the thumbs up. A couple of minutes later the bailiff handed me a folded piece of paper, and when I opened it and read the note, I almost swallowed my tongue—You are so hot when you question a witness. You can interrogate me any time. I forced down a laugh and tucked the note into my pocket.

That evening, less than two seconds after I set foot in the apartment, I found myself pushed up against the wall by the door with Chaise's tongue down my throat and her hand inside my panties.

I'd been so afraid of hurting her that I had insisted on taking things easy until the doctor gave her the all clear, but I couldn't have pulled back from her then if my life had depended on it. We didn't even get up the stairs the first time. With movements that smacked of desperation, Chaise urged me down onto the stairs, pushed up my skirt and tugged off my panties before burying her face between my thighs. I came so fast it was almost embarrassing.

When I had regained the ability to move, I coaxed Chaise into the bedroom, made her comfortable on the bed and used my tongue and fingers to bring her to a gasping orgasm. I still felt a little awkward in my attentions to her, but with her moans and sighs, Chaise always made me feel like the most accomplished lover in the world.

"Are the guys coming over tonight?” I asked as I pushed perspiration damp hair back from her forehead.

"Not if they know what's good for them.” She grinned and pulled me down into a blazing kiss. “If you were hoping to play any games tonight, I'm afraid you'll have to make do with me."

My body responded to the heat in her eyes. “Games? Uh, did you have anything in particular in mind?"

A devious smile lifted one corner of her mouth as she reached out to the night stand. “It just so happens that I got a new toy today..."

* * * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

We were sitting in my car in front of my parents’ house, and I was about to take Chaise to meet my family for the first time. I won't deny that I was more than a bit nervous, that my hands on the steering wheel gripped just a little too tightly, but there was no doubt in me that this was what I wanted to do.

I turned to look at her and my chest tightened in a way that was becoming the norm. I reached over and linked our fingers together, squeezed her hand gently and smiled reassuringly in an attempt to chase away the worried little frown between her eyebrows.

I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles. “I want to do this. We've been seeing each other for nearly a month now. I want you to meet my family, and I want them to meet you.” What I didn't need to say was that I didn't want Chaise to think that I was hiding our relationship. I'd met her parents a couple of times already, been warmly welcomed into her family, but I had been hesitating to introduce Chaise to my folks. I'd told myself that I just wanted to make sure that my feelings for Chaise were real, lasting, not just a phase I was going through. But the truth was that I was afraid of the reaction of my very traditional family to this situation so far removed from anything they were used to. I grew up in a ‘don't rock the boat’ atmosphere; we avoided confrontation and unpleasantness at all costs. Years of college and practicing as a lawyer had tempered that in me, but where it came to my family, the reluctance to make waves still ran deep. “If you're not comfortable, though, we don't have to.” I'll admit that there was a tiny part of me that would have liked her to say that she would rather just go home, but I wasn't disappointed when she squeezed my hand in return and smiled that smile that made my skin tingle with anticipation.

"Come on, let's go.” She gave me a wink and unclipped her seat belt. She didn't say ‘let's get this over with', but the words resounded in the car none the less.

We walked up the path to my family home, not touching, tension practically crackling between us. At the front door I looked at Chaise and she gave me a nod of encouragement. I took a deep, fortifying breath and knocked on the door.

It was opened almost instantly by my mom, who looked from me to Chaise and back again, and was unable to conceal a flash of disappointment before her inbred good manners took over and a welcoming smile slipped into place. If I hadn't been strung tight as a bow then I might have laughed—I had called mom that morning to tell her that I was coming over and bringing someone with me. She'd clearly thought that I meant a man and had most likely been giddy with excitement at the prospect.

I smiled as brightly as I could and hugged her. “Hi, Ma. This is my friend, Chaise.” The front stoop wasn't the right place to announce Chaise as my lover.

"Hello, dear. Well, come in then, your dad insists on having the air conditioner running full tilt like it costs nothing. I'd rather not pay to cool down the neighborhood.” She made a tutting noise and ushered us inside.

I led Chaise through to the living room where my dad was sitting in his favorite chair by the fireplace, reading the paper. He jumped up the second the door opened, dropped the paper down by the side of the chair and smoothed a hand over the front of his shirt. Mom had clearly made him promise to be on his best behavior.

"Hi, Pop.” I went to him and was wrapped up in a bear hug. “This is Chaise.” I swung my arm out to beckon her over.

Smiling, Chaise held out her hand. “It's good to meet you, Mr. Stuart."

My Dad's a quiet, thoughtful kind of man. He doesn't say much, but his sharp eye sees more than most. This time was no exception. As he took Chaise's hand he gave me a look that told me he knew. My breath caught in my chest as I waited for his reaction, and when he shook Chaise's hand and gave her a warm smile I had never loved him more.

"It's good to meet you, too, Chaise. Welcome to our home."

I gave him another quick hug of thanks, but didn't say anything as mom came bustling in then, a floral print apron tied around her waist.

"You're a little earlier than I expected, so dinner isn't quite ready.” She was smiling warmly, obviously having gotten over her disappointment. “Why don't we sit out on the back porch? I've made some fresh lemonade, and Ben and Robyn will be here soon"

Dad gestured to Chaise and me. “Sounds good to me. Ladies, after you.” He sounded just a little too jovial, and it made me unaccountably nervous.

On the back porch mom and dad sat in the swing while Chaise and I took the two cane chairs. We had arrived a bit early deliberately, knowing as I did that my mom would invite my brother and his wife over to meet my friend; I wanted to tell my parents before Ben got the chance to add his two cents.

"So, Chaise? I thought I knew all Anna's friends. How long have you known each other?” Mom poured the lemonade into tall glasses and handed them around.

Chaise took the glass with a smile of thanks. She looked perfectly relaxed, but I could see the lines of tension bracketing her mouth and dearly wanted to lay my hand on hers to reassure her.

"We met about six weeks ago, Mrs. Stuart. I have a coffee shop, Goddess, in the lanes? Anna's one of my regular customers."

"Customer? Really?” Mom raised an eyebrow. Dad might be the more observant of the two, but Mom's far from oblivious. I could see the speculation begin to form in her eyes and decided not to put things off any longer.

Putting down my glass, I turned my body so that I was looking directly at my mom. “Ma, I know that when I phoned to tell you that I was bringing someone over you thought I meant a man, right?” She nodded slowly, and as I paused to gather my will to go on, I fancied that I could actually hear the penny drop for her. The swing that she had been gently rocking came to a halt, and I saw her spine stiffen. For a moment I felt like I had the one time I had handed over a less than glowing report card, but I shook it off, determined to stay in the now.

I straightened my own shoulders. “I can see that you have an idea of what I'm going to say.” I looked at Chaise and she gave me a tight little smile that was no less encouraging for it. “Chaise and I have been dating for about a month now.” This time I did reach over and lay my hand on Chaise's and was gratified when she turned her hand over and linked our fingers together. There, it was out, and I genuinely felt like a weight had lifted off me. But I was still a little tense as I waited for mom's reaction.

She was quiet for so long, her face blank and paling by the second, that I felt the need to fill the silence. “I know that this isn't what you expected, or even what you wanted for me, Ma, but it's what's right for me. I've never felt so connected to life before—it's like everything has finally fallen into place for me.” Chaise's fingers tightened around mine as I spoke.

Without uttering a word, mom got up and walked into the house, her gait jerky and uneven. Dad got up to follow her, but I held up my hand. “Please, Dad, let me?"

He nodded and sat back down. I gave Chaise's hand one last squeeze before dropping it and following mom into the house. I found her standing in the kitchen, leaning on the counter by the stove as if it was the only thing holding her up.

"Mom? Aren't you going to say anything?” I stood just inside the door, hands tucked into the pockets of my pants, shoulders tight and pulse a touch faster than usual.

There was a long silence before mom finally turned, slowly. “What would you like me to say, Anna? Congratulations? I'm thrilled?” She sounded a little shell-shocked.

"I know it must be difficult, Ma; that's it's going to take time—"

She raised a hand sharply to cut me off. “Difficult? Difficult? Well, isn't that just the understatement of the year?” Her voice went up a notch at the end; almost a hysterical note.

"Ma—” I tried again, but again she interrupted as if I hadn't spoken.

"How can this be? How can you be—you've had boyfriends.” She sounded genuinely perplexed.

I tried to keep my voice low and even as I spoke. “I've never had a boyfriend for more than a couple of months, and none of them ever made me feel the way that Chaise does.” She flinched at that, but I continued. “I knew the minute I saw her that she was going to be important in my life. It feels so right to be with her, Ma. She makes me happy. Isn't that a good thing?” I had stood in courtrooms and argued for more clients than I could count, but no argument had ever been as important to me as this.

Mom just shook her head; not at me, I felt, but to clear her head. Her eyes suddenly widened and a hand flew to her chest. “Oh, dear ... what will Father Donovan think?"

Okay, that annoyed me. “I haven't been to Mass in years, Ma. To be honest I don't really care what Father Donovan thinks. I'm more interested in what you think."

She turned away again. “Well you might not care, young lady, but you don't have to face him every week. Maybe if you had come to Mass a little more often this wouldn't have happened.” It was barely more than a whisper, and I got the feeling that it wasn't meant for my ears. But I couldn't—wouldn't—pretend that I hadn't heard.

"I don't like where this is going, Mom. Please tell me that you don't subscribe to the ‘God hates gays’ theory?"

She spun around and pinned me with a glare. “God doesn't hate anyone! But there's right and there's wrong—"

"And what I'm doing is wrong?"

She shrugged and looked down at the floor. “I only know what it says in the bible.” She looked so pained that I moved toward her, reached a hand out and laid it on her arm. She flinched, and I pulled my hand back.

"I haven't changed, Ma. If anything I'm more than I was. I love. What kind of God is it who would condemn me for loving?” Until that moment I hadn't really thought about it, but I realized that it was the truth. I was in love with Chaise.

But as I was reveling in this little epiphany, I became aware of the dark frown that crossed my mother's face. I heard the loud crack before I felt the contact of her hand on my face. There was a shocked gasp—it could have been hers, or it could have been mine, I was too stunned to notice. She looked just as poleaxed as we stood and stared at each other for an interminably long minute. Then, suddenly, mom was moving. She turned on her heel and fled from the room. I was vaguely aware of the sound of footsteps, and of my dad passing on his way after mom, then I felt a hand rest on my arm and I jumped, startled.

"Are you okay?” Chaise's eyes were filled with concern, and she raised a hand to place it over mine where I was holding my cheek.

I nodded, but I felt myself begin to tremble and leaned into her.

"Do you want to go after her?” She gently stroked my hair and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

I shook my head. “No, not tonight. Let's just go, yeah?"

We left quietly; I winced as we walked through the front hall and I heard the muted sound of my mother crying from upstairs.

Outside Chaise held out her hand and I dropped the car keys into it. As we turned the corner at the end of the street I saw Ben and Robyn passing the other way. I sank down a bit in my seat, feeling suddenly wiped, but didn't ask Chaise to stop the car. The last thing I had the energy for right then was that conversation with big brother.

* * * *

I didn't want to go home alone that night, nor did I want to wait for the phone to ring or the knock on the door that would herald the arrival of Ben to tear me a new one for upsetting mom. I knew that I was just hiding from the inevitable confrontation, but that night I simply didn't have it in me to deal with it. Mom's reaction wasn't exactly a shock, but it hurt nonetheless. I hadn't expected her to run out and join PFLAG, but neither had I expected her to lash out at me physically.

We went to Chaise's instead, and she ran a bath, lit some candles and poured us both a glass of Merlot before getting in behind me. I relaxed back against her and closed my eyes.

"I'm so sorry about this, baby. Maybe it was too soon for me to meet your parents?” Chaise balanced her glass on the side of the bath and wrapped her arms around me, rubbing her cheek against my hair. I put my glass beside hers and lifted one of her hands to my mouth, kissed each finger individually.

"I don't think the timing would ever have been right.” I turned her hand over so that I could place a kiss in the centre of her palm. I felt her shiver at the contact, so I continued until I reached the inside of her wrist and licked over the spot where her pulse was beating. “I'll just ... I'll give her some time to get used to the idea.” I'm sure my lack of confidence showed in my voice, but Chaise didn't call me on it, she simply nuzzled into my hair and ran her free hand slowly over my body. I felt my own pulse pick up a notch.

"Make it go away, Chaise, just for a little while?” I knew that I sounded like a child begging a parent to chase away a nightmare, but I really wanted to forget for a while, and I knew that if there was one place I was guaranteed to find some peace, it was in the arms of this woman who had come to mean so much to me.

She didn't say anything, but lowered her head to place a trail of kisses along my shoulder and up my neck to my jaw, where she nibbled lightly. Her hands moved to cup my breasts, and in spite of the heat of the water, I felt my nipples pebble under her touch. I bit my lip and arched my back, pushing myself further into her hands. She lightly pinched and rolled my nipples until I was moaning with need, while her tongue dipped into my ear. I brought my knees up and squeezed my thighs together as my pussy started to tingle. The movement sent a dart of pleasure straight to my brain. I wanted more ... needed more, so I took one of her hands, let my legs fall open, and guided it between them. While one hand continued to knead and caress my breast, the other cupped my mound, first one finger, then two parting my lips and skipping teasingly over my clit. I closed my thighs around her hand in an attempt to push her in deeper.

"Open your legs for me, baby. Let me touch you.” I complied with her request and let my knees rest against the tub. As her fingers moved deeper, one slipping inside me, I gasped my pleasure and let my head fall back against her shoulder. She took advantage of the exposed skin by licking a stripe from my shoulder to my ear.

"Chaise! Oh, God, you make me feel so good. I love having your hands on me.” I pushed into the hand on my pussy, squirmed and undulated my hips.

"You're so beautiful, baby,” Chaise's voice was soft as a whisper, right beside my ear. “I love the feel of your skin under my fingers. I love the way you respond to my touch—so honest and unrestrained.” She raised her own knees on either side of me so that she seemed to be completely surrounding me. “Do you like it when I put my fingers inside you?” She added another finger and fucked them slowly in and out of me. “Do you like it when I play with your nipples; make them all hard and tight?"

"Yesss...” My hands gripped her knees as my breathing became labored. “Yes, oh, so good."

Her thumbnail flicked over my clit and I let out a strangled moan. “Oh, God, Chaise. Make me come. I need to come!"

"Yeah, baby. Come for me. Let me feel you come apart in my arms. I want to feel your tight little hole squeezing my fingers.” Her caresses became faster, harder. I raised one arm, reached behind me and wrapped it around her neck as my body stiffened and convulsed; breath coming in short pants.

"That's it, that's it. Oh, baby, I love to watch you come for me. You're so beautiful."

Gradually my breathing began to return to normal and my muscles relaxed. Finally I leaned back against her, exhausted. She simply held me in her arms, caressing my body in a calming and soothing manner.

With my bones the consistency of wet noodles, Chaise helped me out of the tub and dried us both off. She blew out the candles, collected our glasses of wine and led the way through to the bedroom.

We curled up together under the comforter, and as I drifted off to sleep, Chaise's voice sounded in my ear with a dream-like quality. “I love you, too, baby."

I felt my mouth turn up in a tired smile.

* * * *

I looked up from the papers I was going over when my phone buzzed. I hit the button and my assistant's voice advised me that my brother was here to see me.

Sighing, I rubbed a hand over my eyes. “Send him through, Pam.” I sat back in my chair and attempted to look composed even as tension invaded my body.

Ben's ten years older than me and has always acted like a second father, like he knew what was best for me. Most of the time he didn't so much talk to me as at me, and insisted on treating me like a ten year old. It's made for some pretty stormy confrontations between us, and I had the feeling that this one was going to be a doozy.

The door opened and Ben entered my office. He closed the door behind him, looked at me and shook his head. “Fuck, Anna. You really know how to stir the shit!” Then, the most unexpected thing happened. A smile began to turn up the corners of Ben's mouth. He crossed the carpeted floor and dropped into the chair on the other side of the desk.

"Dad says you love this woman?"

Feeling a little bemused, I nodded. “I-yes, yes I do. Chaise, her name's Chaise."

"How does she feel about you?” He looked at me intently, and for the first time in my life I got the feeling that he actually wanted to hear what I had to say. It was all very confusing to me, and not at all what I had been expecting.

"She loves me too—you don't seem to be very upset about this.” I frowned and leaned on the desk.

Ben sighed. “To be honest, I've come to expect the unexpected from you. You've never done anything predictable in your life.” He shrugged. “Dad said you looked really happy with this-with Chaise. I know you probably won't believe this, but I only ever wanted the best for you. So if this makes you happy..."

I had no idea what to say to this strange man sitting in front of me. My mouth opened and closed a few times, but no words came out. This seemed to amuse Ben, because he laughed and his eyes glittered.

"Dear God, will wonders never cease? All these years I've been trying to get you to shut up, and all I had to do was be nice. Who knew?” He grinned.

I shook my head to clear it. “Okay, you're starting to scare me. You haven't bumped your head or something, have you?"

"Don't be a brat. I want to meet this woman; give her the once over.” That sounded more like the Ben I knew, but there was still a light of humor in his eyes.

I felt affection well up inside me. “Thanks, Ben."

Looking own at his hands, Ben said, a little too casually. “So, Lacy's having the baby christened on Sunday. Will you be there?"

"Does this invite include Chaise?"

Ben didn't answer—he didn't have to. I sighed, disappointed in spite of myself.

"Just think about it, okay?” He got to his feet. “Don't cut yourself off. Mom will come around, just give her time."

I nodded, but we both knew that I had already made my mind up.

* * * *

"I think you should go.” It was Saturday, and we had decided to stay in and cook dinner together—well, I was doing the actual cooking while Chaise washed and cut vegetables for the stir fry.

"Seven.” I placed the chicken strips in the wok and turned to Chaise; she was looking at me with a puzzled frown. “That's the seventh time you've said that in the last two days. My answer is the same now as it was the first time, and the sixth. I'm not going.” I turned back to the stove and flipped the sizzling chicken over.

Chaise sighed loudly. “Stubborn woman. What have I let myself in for?” As if to take any heat out of her words, she placed a gentle kiss on the side of my neck.

"A life of adventure and excitement.” My voice was light, but my insides were unsettled—had been for days. Chaise had been tense and quieter than normal since the thing with my mother, and it had only gotten worse since I foolishly told her about the upcoming christening.

"I have no doubt, but..."

It was my turn to sigh. I switched off the heat under the wok and moved to stand in front of Chaise, placing my hands on her hips. “I know what this is really all about, and you're wrong. This isn't about you—it's not even about us. It's about my mother's complete inability to accept me for who I am. I knew early on that I wanted something different from the life that I was expected to want. I wanted a career and a life outside the home. But my mother seems to have chosen to interpret different as better—she doesn't seem to get the distinction.” I raised a hand and tucked her hair behind her ear. “For years I've just let it bounce off me; laughed it off. But I can't do that this time. This time it's too important. For the first time in my life I feel truly comfortable in my own skin, and she's just going to have to find a way to deal with that."

Chaise wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “I just hate the thought of there being a rift between you and your family."

I nodded. “So do I. But my dad's very much a live and let live kind of person, and Ben seems to be on my side, so that proves that miracles can happen. Time will tell.” I felt my stomach clench. For all our differences, I hated the thought of being at odds with my mother. “Now, let's put this aside for tonight and have a nice dinner, okay?"

Dipping her head, Chaise kissed me, and I instantly felt heat invade my body. My lips parted and I touched the tip of my tongue to hers. My stomach clenched for a whole other reason, and a little moan escaped my throat. She pressed her body closer to mine, and through the material of our clothes I felt the hard beads of her nipples. A shiver ran through her body. With trembling fingers I unbuttoned and unzipped her pants, slipped my hand inside the silky material of her panties to tangle in the neat bush of her pubic hair. My touch was still tentative as I lowered my hand so that my fingers were enclosed in her moist heat. I wanted our love making to be so good for Chaise, but this was all still so new to me that I couldn't help worrying that my inexperience made me clumsy. However, the groan that Chaise emitted when I flicked my finger over her clit helped to reassure me. Her eyes had closed, and she was biting her lower lip as she clutched at my shoulders.

"Oh, baby, that feels so good. Put your fingers inside me—I need to feel you inside me.” Her voice was low and husky as she pushed her hips into my touch. I turned us so that Chaise was leaning back against the counter and dipped one finger inside her body. She contracted around me, and I felt sexual tension build in my own body. While my finger pushed in and out of her, I played with her clit the way she had done to me so many times, and it wasn't long before she was shuddering against me as her orgasm claimed her. She seemed to stop breathing altogether for a long moment, and her body tightened before she exhaled and all but collapsed against me. She tucked her face into the place where my shoulder met my neck.

"Fuck, Anna, what you do to me."

In spite of the need coursing through my body I laughed and hugged her. “Just think what it will be like when I really know what I'm doing."

A puff of breath caressed my neck as Chaise laughed in turn. “I might not survive!"

* * * *

The next morning I was sitting at the table in my kitchen, sipping my tea. Chaise was sitting opposite, a mug of coffee in front of her, her long fingers turning it in circles. Every time I looked up I found her watching me, but she would quickly look away and study her coffee intently.

I had to smile. “Is it really so important to you?"

She attempted to look puzzled by my question, but couldn't quite pull it off, and she seemed to instinctively know. “Yes, it really is. And, well ... I have to admit that I have a selfish reason for it.” She paused for a minute, and I waited for her to continue. “I worry that your family might think I've put pressure on you not to go—it would be easier to blame me than you."

I hated that look of concern that put frown lines on her forehead, so I reached across the table and laid my hand on hers. “Okay, I'll go. Come and help me choose something to wear?"

Chaise's smile was so wide and relieved that it squeezed my heart.

* * * *

The family grapevine had obviously been working overtime. When I arrived at the church and walked down the aisle I could feel eyes on me and caught the mutter of private conversations. I slid into the seat my parents, Ben and Robyn were occupying. Dad smiled and winked. Ben nudged my shoulder with his. Robyn patted my hand gently. I was warmed by the small gestures of support, but the feeling vanished when I looked at my mother. She glanced in my direction and quickly looked away, as if she couldn't bring herself to meet my eyes. My heart sank, and I turned to face the altar as I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes.

The service was blessedly short, then we moved onto Lacy's house for a reception. I felt like I might as well have been wearing a neon sign reading beware, lesbian in the room, because everyone seemed to be having difficulty making conversation with me, and I'd never seen so many people so interested in the floor in my life. Even Father Donovan gave me a wide berth, simply nodding at me from a safe distance. I stayed close to Ben and Robyn most of the time, nursing a glass of lukewarm wine. Dad quickly got caught up in a conversation about work with my uncle Jack, but he seemed to make a point of coming to stand beside me every so often.

Mom, on the other hand, kept herself excessively busy with the buffet. She didn't seek me out, and the one time I approached her she fluttered away with the excuse that she had too much to do.

I was just starting to think that my face muscles would go into spasm from the effort of keeping a smile on my face when Lacy came up to me—sans baby Joseph, who had been in her arms all day. I decided that I wasn't going to read anything into that.

She took my arm and guided me to the side. I allowed this out of pure curiosity.

"I just wanted to thank you,” her voice was quiet, like she was talking in a church.

"For coming? There's really no need to thank me. It is a family event, after all."

Spots of color touched Lacy's cheeks. “Uh, yes, yes of course. But I was more referring to ... well, thank you for not embarrassing me. You know, with your new ... situation.” With every word that came from her mouth her face got increasingly red.

I felt my back stiffen and my hand tightened around the wine glass. “Well, I certainly wouldn't want my ... situation to embarrass anyone."

Clearly oblivious to the sarcasm in my voice and the annoyance I was throwing off, Lacy smiled widely and a hand went to her chest. “Oh, I'm so glad you understand. Joe's family isn't quite as tolerant as ours, and I would hate to have had to explain things to my mother-in-law."

I would have laughed, but the urge to cry was fighting its way up in me, and I refused to let myself break down in that room. I just nodded. “Would you excuse me please, Lacy? I need to use the restroom.” Without waiting for her to reply, I put my glass down on an end table and quickly left, making straight for the front door, my breath hitching as I desperately tried to hold it together.

I got to the bottom stair of the stoop when I heard the door open again.

"Anna?” I stopped at the sound of my mother's voice, but couldn't bring myself to turn around. “You're leaving already?"

"Oh, so you did notice that I was here."

"Well of course I noticed, I was just..."

"Very busy, yes I know. Don't let me hold you back, I'm sure there are far more important things you should be doing.” My throat was tight with emotion, and I really wanted to get away.

"Don't be like this, Anna,” she said quietly, just the tiniest hint of admonition in her voice.

I spun around on my heel. “That's just the problem, isn't it, Mom? I've never been what you wanted me to be. Do you think that I don't know I've been letting you down my whole life?"

She actually gasped at that. “I have never told you that you let me down."

"Maybe not in so many words, but every time you criticized my job or the way I dress or my lack of a man; every time I was excluded from conversations because I couldn't possibly understand what real women had to deal with, you were telling me that I needed to change.” My heart was racing as adrenaline flowed throw me. “You've never really understood me, Ma, and I don't think you've ever tried. It was just easier for you to try to change me into something that you do understand.” I angrily brushed away a tear that had fallen onto my cheek. “Well, this is who I am, Ma. I graduated in the top two percent of my class and was head-hunted by one of the best law firms in the country—where I became the youngest partner in the history of the firm. I own my own apartment, and I have a lover who makes me feel really good about myself. But it's still not enough, is it? I can't be Lacy,” I finished quietly.

My mother just stood there, her face expressionless. I waited for her to say something—anything, but when she didn't I turned and left.

I drove slower than normal, my eyes blurry with tears, heading for Chaise's rather than my own apartment. I parked my car in what had become its usual spot and walked along the lane to Goddess. Chaise must have been watching from the window, because before I could even knock on the door it was opened.

Without a word she took me in her arms and held me tight against her body.

* * * *

When I woke up the next morning my head felt thick after only a few hours sleep and countless shed tears. I woke to the feeling of Chaise gently stroking my hair back from my face, one leg thrown over mine in a protective way. Opening my eyes, I saw her smiling softly and felt my heart twist in my chest as more tears threatened. I raised a hand to rest on her cheek.

"Was it just two days ago you asked what you were letting yourself in for?” My voice was gritty. “Well, now you know.” I tried to smile, but I'm sure it looked more like a grimace.

She leaned in and pressed her forehead against mine. “We'll get through this, baby. Things look dark right now, but I promise it will get better."

We'll get through this ... I liked that, and it brought a real smile to my lips.

She rubbed a soothing hand over my back, much the same way as she had done through the night. “Why don't you call in sick today? We'll take the bike out and just get away for a little while?"

"That sounds like a great idea.” I turned my head to look at the clock on the bedside table. It was just after seven. I reached out for my cell phone. “I'll leave a voicemail message for my assistant.” I'd turned my phone off the night before, and when I switched it back on I saw that I had several missed calls—a couple from Ben, one from Robyn and one from dad. Nothing from mom. I hadn't really expected there to be one, but still...

Deciding that I had done enough weeping over the matter to last a year, I determinedly put thoughts of my mother out of my mind. Chaise and I enjoyed a long, leisurely shower together, then went down to Goddess where we had coffee and pastries. Sophie, with her usual bounce in her step, was more than happy to hold the fort for the day and even packed us an impromptu picnic of sandwiches and fruit juice.

We drove out of the city and down to the coast where we had our picnic on the beach and enjoyed an afternoon on the pier, riding the ferris wheel, eating cotton candy and corn dogs, and taking turns on the shooting gallery—I won a huge stuffed penguin, but we laughed at the idea of trying to get it home on the bike, so we presented it to a delighted little girl.

As afternoon turned into evening, we ate dinner at a small inn where we decided to stay the night, so we were able to share a bottle of wine.

Our room was small and intimate, most of it taken up with a huge, carved wooden bed. It had a tiny little balcony overlooking the ocean, with French windows and filmy voile panels that fluttered in the warm evening breeze. We made love to the sound of the waves on the beach, as the evening sun sank behind the horizon, and long into the night. Exhausted and completely spent, we fell asleep and didn't wake until after ten in the morning—necessitating a hasty call to the office to let them know that I would be taking another personal day. We lounged around for another hour before finally going downstairs to have brunch and pay the bill.

It was late afternoon when we arrived back in the city and headed straight to Chaise's—in the last few weeks I had spent far more time there than my own place, and it was fast coming to feel like home; I even had my own key.

I was feeling considerably more relaxed, my body pleasantly achy as I dismounted the bike and removed my helmet.

"I should go and check in with Sophie before I go upstairs.” She raised my hand to her lips and kissed my knuckles. “Why don't you go ahead? I won't be long.” She had that look in her eyes that, in spite of a night of unrestrained passion, still made me feel all tingly.

"Okay, but don't be too long. I have to go back to work tomorrow, so I'm going to need an early night.” I watched as her pupils flared and her tongue came out to lick her bottom lip.

"I'll be five minutes. Tops."

I laughed as she strode into the coffee shop, and went up to the apartment. Shedding my jacket and boots, I headed for the kitchen and began preparing a dinner of pasta and salad. I had barely put the pasta in the pot and taken the vegetables from the fridge when I heard the door open and Chaise's footsteps on the stairs.

"That was quick, can't bear to be parted from me, huh?” I crossed to the stairs and leaned over the banister. The smile froze on my face when I saw that Chaise was not alone, but had my mother in tow.

I felt anxiety suddenly invade my body, wiping away all the good that the last day had done. I moved to stand behind the kitchen counter, putting some distance as well as a physical barrier between us.

Chaise looked distinctly uncomfortable as she gestured for my mother to enter the apartment. “Uh, your mom was waiting in the coffee shop to speak to you."

Mom smiled and looked every bit as uncomfortable as Chaise. “I called your office and your assistant said you had taken a couple of personal days, then I went to your apartment. I came here because, well, I couldn't think of where else I might find you.” She was doing that thing with the fingers of her right hand, sort of rubbing the tips together, that I had come to associate with her being nervous or feeling out of her element. It caused my stance to soften a little.

"I have to admit that this is quite a surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you.” The air in the room seemed to throb with tension.

"I-I thought that maybe we should talk.” She sounded so unsure, so ill at ease that my heart twisted in my chest.

I nodded. “Yes, I think we should.” I came out from behind the counter and looked at Chaise. “If you'd prefer, we could take this elsewhere?” The last thing I wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable in her own home.

But Chaise immediately shook her head. “No, please, stay.” She turned to mom. “Mrs. Stuart, why don't you have a seat and I'll make some tea?"

Mom came slowly further into the room and smiled rather awkwardly at Chaise. “That would be very nice. Thank you ... Chaise."

It was that last sentence that gave me hope. While mom sat on the edge of one of the sofas, I sat a little stiffly on the one opposite. Clutching her purse on her lap, mom looked around her.

"This is a lovely place. Very ... trendy?” She said the word like she wasn't quite sure of it.

"Yes, it is lovely, and quite trendy I suppose.” There was a long silence broken only by the sounds of Chaise puttering around in the kitchen, taking far longer to make the tea than was necessary.

"Do you spend a lot of time here?” Mom was still looking around her, like she wasn't quite able to meet my eyes.

"More and more it seems.” I smiled and was surprised to find that it was easier than I would have thought.

There was another long silence, then mom finally looked at me, looked right at me, and I had the oddest feeling that for the first time ever she was really trying to see me.

"I've always been proud of you, you know.” I hadn't expected that, and it left me speechless for a moment.

"You—you have?” I was finally able to ask.

She smiled, and it lit up her eyes. “When you won that scholarship to college I told everyone I met for weeks afterwards—I'm sure I told everyone more than once. Then when you did so well at law school?” She laughed lightly. “Well, I think that people started to avoid me so that they wouldn't have to listen to me boasting about my brilliant daughter."

Stunned, I could only stare open-mouthed. “But ... but you never said anything to me. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

She looked down at her hands. “Because, I suppose in spite of my pride in your accomplishments, I really didn't understand you—you were right about that.” She shook her head, but I got the feeling that it was more about her than me. “But it wasn't just that.” She looked at me again, and her eyes seemed to implore me. “Oh, Anna. I have found such happiness and fulfillment in being a wife and mother. I was so afraid that you were going to get so caught up in your career that you would never know that kind of contentment. I can see now how you could have confused my concern for disappointment, and to apologize seems so inadequate, but I truly am sorry."

I was granted a moment to gather my wits as Chaise brought over a tray with two cups of tea and a plate of cookies. She set it on the coffee table and went back to the kitchen.

I picked up my cup and held it between my hands just for something to do.

"When you told me about your relationship with Chaise it was like all my fears had come to life—no husband, no children...” A frown drew her eyebrows together.

"Just because I'm sharing my life with another woman doesn't mean that I'll never be a mother.” I wanted to reach out and touch her, to reassure her. “It's not what I want right now, but who knows what will happen a couple of years down the line?"

She nodded. “I understand that. I do. I've done nothing but think about it for two days. It's just ... when you first told me...” She shrugged as if she had run out of words.

I put my cup back on the table and went to sit beside her, but still not touching. “I'm not going to change, Ma, you get that, right?"

She nodded, and without looking at me she reached over and gently laid her hand on mine. It said more than any words could. After a moment of quiet, she patted my hand and stood. “I should get back. I left your dad to fend for himself—he's probably burned down the kitchen."

I laughed at that and stood beside her. “I wouldn't be in the least surprised."

She was looking unsure again, and I instinctively reached out and hugged her. After a brief pause she returned the embrace.

"Oh, and just for the record?” She pulled back and held me at arms length. “I'm very glad you're not Lacy. That girl doesn't have the brains she was born with—just look at that useless lump she married!” There was a little twinkle of mischief in her eye that reminded me of exactly why I hadn't called her on her meddling all those years.

I walked with her, and she stopped at the top of the stairs, turned and looked at Chaise.

"Perhaps you would join us for dinner sometime, Chaise? I would invite you to Saturday lunch at my mother's, but that would be a bit like throwing you to the wolves! A small family dinner would be a kinder way to ease you into the family."

Chaise, who I think had been trying to make herself invisible the whole time, smiled warmly. “I'd like that, Mrs. Stuart."

With a smile and a nod, mom went ahead of me down the stairs. I walked her to her car, parked at the end of the lane, and we shared another brief hug before she drove home. I was smiling when I arrived back at Chaise's, and she immediately caught me up in a big hug, spinning me around several times.

I wasn't deluded or foolish enough to think that everything was going to be smooth sailing from there on in, but I had hope for the first time that my mother and I would find a middle ground where we could co-exist without too much drama.

I looked at Chaise, at her beautiful smiling face and her bright gray eyes, leaned in and kissed her lips, filled my hands with her silky hair, and knew that no matter what was ahead of us, it would be worth it.

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