Woodsworth’s Scoop

Grace Nolen

Copyright © 2012 Grace Nolen
Three Strings Publishing

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 1470020637 

ISBN-13: 978-1470020637

DEDICATION

To those that gave me inspiration to write and love,

To those that wrote their stories before me,

To the Higher Powers that lead me,

I dedicate this book with honor and love.

Mostly I dedicate this book to my Wind Whisper, who loved me even when I didn’t. I love you and am blessed by you!

CONTENTS

Chapter One 1

Chapter Two 11

Chapter Three 18

Chapter Four 31

Chapter Five 35

Chapter Six 43

Chapter Seven 47

Chapter Eight 55

Chapter Nine 60

Chapter Ten 68

Chapter Eleven 70

Chapter Twelve 75

Chapter Thirteen 78

Chapter Fourteen 84

Chapter Fifteen 87

Chapter Sixteen 92

Chapter Seventeen 97

Chapter Eighteen 102

Chapter Nineteen 106

Chapter Twenty 114

Chapter Twenty-One 120

Chapter Twenty-Two 132

Chapter Twenty-Three 133

Chapter Twenty-Four 140

Chapter Twenty-Five 145

Chapter Twenty-Six 148

Chapter Twenty-Seven 152

Chapter Twenty-Eight 157

Chapter Twenty-Nine 163

Chapter Thirty 169

Chapter Thirty-One 171

Chapter Thirty-Two 172

Chapter Thirty-Three 175

Chapter Thirty-Four 182

Chapter Thirty-Five 186

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Thank you to all who stood by me and encouraged me! To my best friend and spiritual sister, Tink, you are truly more of a friend anpiritual sd loved. To Jamie, your encouragement kept me going more times than not to write. To my son, may you know that love comes in many forms. Thank you to my Wind Whisperer, your Sea Goddess loves you.

Lastly, thank you to my Gods and Goddess, Nature Spirits, and Ancestors, I am yours and thank you for the inspiration for this work of fiction and art.

Chapter One

I barely had time to walk in the clinic’s door before my name was being yelled from down the hall. The waiting room was full, and things were busy for a Monday morning. I soon realized that Kelly Peddington, our Medical Chief Officer and my best friend, was the one that was calling me. I didn’t even have time to get to my office and set things down before Kelly was going off about needing more staff to help the clinic out. She was on one of her tirades about it again, and I just hoped it was a short one this time.

“Lexi, you have to hire some more help. Everyone cannot keep up with the appointments that have been flowing in! The staff is threatening to walk if things don’t ease up soon! Please, I beg of you, hire us another nurse, practitioner, or both or--even better--more!” Kelly proclaimed. I had heard this now for three weeks and was just waiting on the okay from the board. I knew they needed this, but it was out of my control.

“Kelly, soon, I promise. The board meets this Tuesday. Why not come and plead the case with me, as I cannot hire ‘til they give me the go ahead. In the meantime, why don’t we put another call out for volunteers?” I hoped this would satisfy her.

“Fine! Just as long as we get help! I prefer paid staff, but I will take what I can get” she huffed as she walked off to take care of helping the practitioners get caught up on the overflow. Kelly was good, but the politics of boards and getting them to do what she needed was not her strong point. She came from working in a clinic where she answered to no one and, though I was thankful for her, I sometimes just wanted to wring her neck.

I quickly got my computer up and running to get started on the packet for the board. Knowing that it was going to be a busy night and that things weren’t in order, I knew it would take forever for them to get out of here before midnight. I really loved my job and the opportunities it has brought me to give back to my community, but running the only GLBT specialty primary clinic in town that helped no matter the ability to pay was a stressing and exhausting job. We had decided to open up the clinic to all people that felt the need to come here, no matter what their sexuality, adding many more patients than we could cope with. I only hoped that the upcoming board meeting would hear our case for the need for staff expansion.

As I worked on the proposal to add one clerk, two nurses, and three providers, I thought about where this clinic was five years ago. We had just three of us then and a pipe dream of expanding. Kelly, Janice Sutter, and I worked day and night to get clients, find members for the board, and, of course, find somewhere to be our base of operation. We did not even have a building of our own and were not sure about anything that we were doing.

In the first year, we were booming in the heart of the GLBT community and purchased land. The second year boyea, we moved from an evening clinic that operated when Dr. Lee’s clinic closed to our new building. We also added staff. Now we had a Doctor of General Medicine and a Family Nurse Practitioner, two RNs, one LVN, and three clerks. We’d gone from 250 patients to over a thousand a month. It was truly a blessing that Lambda Health Center was up running and flourishing.

My thoughts were interrupted when the phone rang with the caller ID showing Billy Haste as the culprit bringing me out of my peace. “Hello. Lambda Health Center. Lexi here. Can I help you?” I said out of habit, knowing very well that it was the president of our board. He had been a longtime friend of mine, and the reality was I did not know if he called on pleasure or business.

“Lexi! Great! You are there! Lunch, noon, Bob’s Burger Joint! No excuses!” Billy quickly spurted out.

“What do you want? Pleasure or business, Billy? I am busy getting ready for tomorrow night’s meeting! I don’t know if I can get away.”

“Pleasure and business! I want to go over the agenda with you, and I have an RN I want you to meet as one of the candidates for the positions we are going to make open tomorrow night when the board says yes!” Billy always had a way of getting the others to jump on board to things needed once he saw the need. After the last week when his partner came in and waited an hour to be seen, Billy opened up that we needed more staff to meet the growing patient need.

“So, I will see you there, then?” he asked, snapping me back to the conversation at hand.

“Yes, I will be there!”

“Great! And just you, please! I know you will like this gal—and, Lexi, y'all just might become more too!”

Billy and I hung up, and I was able to finish up the agenda at least. I had three hours until lunch, and I was starting to wonder what Billy was up to. He was notorious for trying to set me up, saying I needed to get out more, date, and get out of the clinic. Truth was, the clinic was my love, my partner, and my life. I did not meet anyone that was not already taken that could put up with me needing to take care of business there, be alone at times, and talk mainly about the clinic and my hopes for it. No one had the passion for it that I did, and no one understood that when you got me, you also got my mistress--the clinic! Gods, I was talking about the clinic like it was a live person or something. Though, to me, it was!

Lunch hour came much too soon and, as soon as the agenda was off the printer, I sped out the door to Bob’s Burgers. I got there just after twelve and saw Billy setting there chatting it up with a beautiful-beyond-measure goddess of a woman. She took my breath away, and somehow I just knew she was meant to be in my life. I never have had this feeling just seeing someone, and I also felt that this beauty would be out of my league, so I just hoped that at least I could have her in my life as an RN at the clinic.

“Over here, Lexi!” I heard as I made my way over to the table. “Lexi, meet Jennifer Scoops--the RN I was telling you about earlier,” Billy quickly said.

We made quick pleasant gestures as I sat and noticed that her eyes were captivating with this golden starburst in the middle and blue on the outside. I could get lost in those eyes. “Well, Billy, you did not really say much--just that there was an RN to meet. coRN to mSo, Jennifer, tell me about yourself, Also, let me know your feelings of the GLBT community as we require our employees to be open to it since that is who we serve.” I boldly stated to act as though I was not a drooling fool knocked over by her beauty.

“Where to start? Well, I guess I should let you know that I am not from this area. I am from New York State in a town called Herkimer. I have been an RN now for a little over 20 years and am 43. I just moved here to Atlanta a few months ago and met Billy at a potluck that some mutual friends were putting on. Recently, I decided to go back to work or at least volunteer somewhere, and Billy said I should talk to you. I love helping people, and your clinic sounds like one that I could really get behind and be a part of. I don’t see myself as a lesbian all the way, but I am queer.” Jennifer kept on talking about how much she loved nursing and had missed it over the last year. I was lost in her but at the same time thinking, Shits! Don’t fall for another bi-girl or—worse--a straight girl that just wants to play the queer card to get the job.

“Lexi, what do you think? Will she fit in?” Billy asked, bringing me to the realization that Lexi had stopped talking. I shook my head yes as the waiter walked up to get our order.

We all ordered, and Billy wasted no time talking about the strategy we should use when approaching the board. We both knew how hard of a sell it would be, as our conservative few did not think that we could afford to expand. I felt bad that Jennifer was hearing all the downside of the board right away, as they really were a dedicated group and hardworking. She seemed to not mind and even had a few ideas to help us. It was nice to have some new thoughts on the issues facing us.

“Why not get them to agree to half you wish for now and agree to add the other half in a month?” Jennifer suggested to us, and this was not a route we had thought of. I decided right then to make up two proposals in case the first one was turned down.

“Compromise is sometimes the way to go, and we can definitely prove at the next board meeting it pays for itself to bring in new staff with the financials. Lexi, what employees do you need right this minute to help ease things?” Billy questioned.

“Well, I will have to get with Kelly, but I know that she will say all since this is the list she came up with as a need of staff. And, trust me, she will not be happy till she gets all the positions filled. I also know that she cut the list down from what she was going to ask. Kelly has been hounding me every chance she gets. Don’t be shocked if, this board meeting, she actually comes and states a case. We all know how she can be if she is on a mission to get something!”

“Then it is settled,” Billy pointed to me and continued, “you will get Kelly to say what half is needed first and ask her to calm down some before the meeting. We will use that as a back-up if they do not go for the whole proposal. I will see what I can do before then to rally some support.”

Soon the waitress appeared with our order, and I was glad to get lost in my bacon cheddar burger and fries. By this point I was famished and felt like I could inhale all three of our plates. Noticing the time and knowing that there was still so much to do at the office, I started making a mental note of items to accomplish before I left for the day. The rest of the conversation went smoothly about my favorite thing--the clinic. We told Jennifer all we had accomplished and a little about our patiently our pas. She truly seemed thrilled to hear about all the services we provided. I was amazed that not only was she beautiful, but she was also intelligent in many ways. I knew the rest of the staff would love her.

I soon finished eating, paid my check, and excused myself to leave them to their day. Billy was taking Jennifer around to some of the local art galleries and shops. I told them to stop by the clinic, and I would give her a tour. As I was about out the door, Jennifer came running up behind me, shocking me.

“Lexi, I am so glad to meet you and really want to help, even if it doesn’t mean a job right now. Can I come get that tour on my own tomorrow and talk about volunteering ‘til a job opens up?”

“Yes, please do. Come by about 10 a.m., and I will show you around,” I spurted out like she had just asked me to go out on a date or something. She thanked me and, without thinking, I hugged her and went on out to my car. I went limp at the thrill that I just touched this amazing woman! I melted and wished that I could do that again. I stood there at the car, lit a cigarette, and thought for the first time in years that maybe--just maybe--I might want to see about a date with this beautiful lady.

The rest of the day went slow as I plowed through work. I also hoped to catch Kelly at the right moment. She was angered at the idea of half now and half in a month, but after I promised to get a drink with her after work, she agreed to think about it. And, though I managed to get things done, all I could think about was Jennifer and how I wanted to see her again.

I thought about how she described herself as queer--not a full lesbian--as I tried to work. I wondered if that would matter, if she would go out with me. I wondered if she felt the same about me, and that is why she wanted to come alone tomorrow. It was going to consume me for the rest of the day. I tried my hardest to stomp that thought out. I knew it was just business and nothing more. Yet I could not help but feel this instant connection with her and hoped that I stood a chance, even though I knew I was not even in the same playing field as her league.

Luckily, work ended, and I was so ready for that drink. I hoped that it could help me relax and put some things into perspective. When I arrived, Kelly was talking it up with the bartender and ordering our drinks. She also proved to be predictable, as she wasted no time in talking business.

“It is just not fair that we have to wait to hire someone based off a board vote. We need people and should have the ability to just make it happen.” Kelly went on about it as I kept going back over lunch in my head and the starburst beauty that had captivated me. I could not help it.

It had been years since I dated after the last one turned out to be a psycho control freak that got jealous over work associates and anyone that became part of my life. She even wanted to control when I saw my parents. I knew something was wrong when she insisted that I sell my car and wanted to sit in my office while I worked. Billy and Kelly helped me get the restraining order and get the crazy person out of my life after she threatened me and began the beatings. Jennifer has been the first person since then to pull me in, and yet it was just a business meeting.

Kelly cuffed me upside the arm, as she must have felt I was miles away in thoughts. “What’s up, Woodsworth? Where are you, and what is going on in that mind of yours?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Really?”

“Nothing. Really. I met someone today, and she was just on my mind.”

“Really? Tell me about her! This is great! I have been praying for the day that you would date again! You need someone like my Amy! You need someone to keep you in check.”

“No. Nothing like that. She is an RN that we may be bringing in as a paid employee but, until then, she is coming in tomorrow to see about volunteering.”

“Yet you like her! I can see it in your eyes! Go ahead and admit it! You glowed at the mention of her to me.”

“I did? There is something about her that is captivating, and she has the most beautiful eyes. She is also intelligent and caring. I just don’t think she plays in the same league as me.”

“Are you saying you are out of hers, or she plays for the other team?”

“I don’t know. She said she did not see herself as lesbian but a queer. What is that supposed to mean? Is she one of those bi girls that are a pain? Or does she just not like the label?”

“I am not sure, but I bet tomorrow you will have your answer!”

About that time, Amy showed up and did her usual greeting of kissing me on the forehead and then latching on to Kelly with kisses all over like she had not seen her in years, though they live together and parted for work only that morning. If there was ever a couple that needed a room each time they saw each other, it was this one. They barely kept their hands and lips off each other.

“What are you two gals up to? Or are you still talking shop, which is now forbidden!” Amy announced when she finally settled down enough to remember they were still in public.

“Lexi and I were just talking about a possible lady for her to date!”

“Really? Lexi, that is awesome. When are you taking her out? And, can I say, it is about time?”

“Amy, really it is nothing. I just met this RN that is going to come volunteer until the board says I can hire her. I would like to ask her out, but I am not sure she would. She is a confusing, intoxicating, brilliant, starburst beauty who I am scared I don’t stand a chance with! It is nothing, and I am just dreaming.”

“At least you are finally dreaming of asking someone out. It has been three years since Claire did what she did, and you need to move on and remember that not all are like her!” Amy went on and on about how I needed to date and that if this beauty knew what was best for her, she would not let me get far. All I could think was that I wished that I had never told them.

Soon it was time to head out, and we said our goodbyes. I went to my apartment and looked around at it. Nothing much was there, and I usually just avoided the place until I could not stay awake anymore. I went on to do my nightly routine and lay down.

My thoughts drifted between the board meeting and Jennifer, and part of me hoped that both would go in my favor and that, for once, the stars would align. I decided also that, ont olso tha the tour, I would find out as much as I could about her to see if there was any chance of asking her out. I just knew if there was ever a time to venture, this was it.

What do I do though if she says no or is not available or has someone? Suddenly, I was wide awake and was not sure what that would mean to me. I let my fears overtake me and finally told myself that the tour had to be about business and not my dating dreams of her. I just met her, and already she was stirring drama in my head. I must be crazy! Soon, though, the great dream weaver, Mrs. Sandwoman, had her way with me and pulled me in.

Chapter Two

“Trey! Trey, are you home?” Jennifer bellowed as she searched for her husband and kids. She could hardly wait to tell them the exciting news. Looking at the time, she could not understand where Trey and the kids were. Finally, she looked at her lifesaver of a phone and realized that the school was having a math night. She made her way to the kitchen to unpack some more boxes and started dinner.

Trey and their three kids came home an hour later, and quickly her alone time in a quiet house was over. Her smile was radiant, and only Trey had noticed. Tracy went on and on about how eighth grade at the school was torture and how she could not wait to be at a school again without her siblings. John David kept asking what was for dinner and how soon it would be ready. Gracie ran straight for the TV, hoping to catch something on it before she was made to turn it off. The move had been hard on all of them, but it was for Trey’s job. Trey went off to the back of the house on a call for work as Jennifer hoped that soon things would calm down. She was tired of living in boxes, and wanted a sense of normal to return.

“Okay, you three. Clean the table so we can eat!” Jennifer hollered over everyone and finished up the last of the tortillas. “And, Gracie, turn off the TV!”

“Oh, Mom. Please let me watch it and eat in here!” Gracie tried to argue, but Trey came along, scooted her to the table, and turned off the TV.

Once all had a plate and were seated, Jennifer tried hard to keep things as they once were and tried to resurrect some normal traditions they had. “Okay, who is going first? What exciting news happened today?” Jennifer asked as she always did each night.

“I will go first,” Trey announced to the Scoop clan. “I moved into my corner office and have a window overlooking the city!”

“I want to see it dad!” John David explained while jumping up and down in his seat. His excitement overflowing.

“Trey that is wonderful! I hope that the view is beautiful!” Jennifer said while smiling at her husband who amazed her in his accomplishments.

“Daddy, will you take us soon to see it?” asked Gracie.

“Soon I will, but first I have to settle in and make sure that it is alright with my bosses for family to come by. I promise though, if anything, I will take a picture for you all to see!” 0" Trey let the family know.

“I guess I will go next,” Tracy said. “I am going to try out for the basketball team.” No one was shocked at this, as Tracy had played sports her whole life and some even said she was born with sneakers on and a ball in hand.

“Gracie, John David, how about you two? Anything exciting happen today?” Jennifer asked.

Both looked and thought hard, but then said no. And, finally, Trey did the deed and asked Jennifer the same question. Everyone knew by her look that she had something to tell. If there was one thing about Jennifer that stood out, it was that she could not hide her excitement well.

“I found somewhere to volunteer and maybe got a job today!” Jennifer boasted as though she had won a marathon or something. The whole table stopped eating and looked at her. When they moved there, they had decided that Jennifer was only going to take care of the house and kids. Trey made more than enough now to support everyone.

Trey ventured out and asked, “Honey? I thought we said you were not going to work.” His face showed the concern in his voice as he tried to be supportive. Trey felt that Jennifer would take on too much and did not want to see her over extended with this and the kids.

“I miss being a nurse, Trey and being here, all day--well, that brings out the depression in me. Besides, the kids are in school, you are at work, and I am alone.” Jennifer, still smiling at this new venture, felt the doubt and sadness creeping up in her throat as she did not want this to go away.

“Where are you going to be a nurse?” Tracy asked.

“It is a cute little clinic that is called Lambda Health Center, and it is for the GLBT community. They need people, and I need something to do during the day. I will be volunteering at first until they get the board to approve hiring some more staff.” Jennifer announced as her confidence in her decision was coming back to her. The idea excited her and helped her feel like she had a purpose again and something to do with her time.

“What?” Trey asked as he tried to take in all he was being told.

“What is GLBT mom?” John David asked, puzzling the news out in his mind. He looked and they were all confused and wondering just where Jennifer was going with this. John David and Gracie had no idea what GLBT meant, and Tracy had been around long enough to know that her family was anything but traditional. Trey, on the other hand, did not know what to think of it all. This was news to him, and he did not like finding out about things the same time as the kids.

“I met a lady today too.” Jennifer let out, knowing that this was skating on thin ice. She just hoped they would not burst her balloon before it was all said and done.

Before Jennifer could continue, Trey piped in, “Oh, not this again, honey. The last one nearly cost me losing you forever.” He always knew when his wife announced meeting someone, that there was more to it than a co-worker or something simple. He knew that meant she was interested in this person romantically.

“It is not like that, honey. She is the executive director, and I would be working for her. Lexi is in need of people, and I am need of doing something that makes me feel better. John Doretter. Javid and Gracie, GLBT means gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender. It is a population that is in need of people that understand them and can help them get their special health care needs met.” Jennifer filled in for everyone.

The family got quiet as Tracy, Jennifer, and Trey thought on what this would mean. The two younger ones just ate and made faces at each other. No one knew if they should protest or not. Tracy’s discomfort in it all was beginning to show with distaste of it all in her usually smiling face.

Finally, Trey spoke up. “Well, honey, if it is what you want, then go for it! When we first met, I knew that you would always be a nurse and find every opportunity to do so. And I trust that you are making the right decision.” He hoped that was what Jennifer wanted to hear and sighed a little.

“Thank you honey, and I promise, it will be good!” Jennifer relaxed some.

“Just behave and remember that you promised you would take a break from having a girlfriend for a bit until we settled down and you have had time to heal from the last. I don’t want to see you hurt again.” Trey pleaded as he forced a smile out.

“Oh, Trey. I have not even thought about doing that. But Lexi is cute, and I would not turn her down.” Jennifer said with a quirky smile.

Trey sighed as Jennifer said this, knowing that soon he would hear that she and this Lexi person would be going out.

“Mom, why don’t we just be like other families and you not have a girlfriend! I just want to be normal here and not have any reason for anyone to look at us different. Do you set out to make my life difficult?” Tracy finally admitted her frustration. She had kept the pain to herself in the past. Now, though, she found that she had this need to direct her mom’s life, as it affected hers, and she did want another person intruding on their time together. She also really wanted to have friends over and not be ashamed of the family that had two women where one was mom and the other was just some lady that got between her mom and the family. She also saw it her mom as cheating on her father. Tracy never understood why her mom needed anyone else. Her dad was the best person on earth, and she did not want him hurt. Tracy knew that she would never accept the other person. What Tracy did not know was that her dad dated other women, too.

“Honey, I told you I like girls and boys! I have the perfect man in my life, and I know that one day there will be the perfect lady too! I know this is hard for you to understand, and I don’t expect you to, but know that you can live through this and maybe--just maybe--learn that love comes in all shapes and forms. I am not looking, though, right now. But, Trey, this lady I met--she was amazing and something just seemed to pull me in her direction. I connected right away with her and just know that there could be more.” Jennifer set out to make a defense only to see that everyone was getting up and clearing the table. She was relieved that the subject was dropped as she was not certain what to do about the attraction she felt for Lexi and the excitement at knowing she was going to see her again tomorrow.

“Tracy, if it will make you feel better, on your ground--aka school--I will not be open about whom I date unless I’m talking about your father. But on my ground--aka home--I will be me. That way you don’t have to worry unless you bring someone over. And if there is ever a time that you want me not to be out at home, ask anp ahome, ad more than likely I will abide--just not all the time.” Jennifer hoped this would help set Tracy at ease, knowing that she was just at that age where the appearance of the whole family was important.

After cleaning up after dinner and getting the kids set on chores and then homework, Jennifer went off to her room to sort laundry and think. Trey took the opportunity to follow her and find out more about this new fling she obviously was thinking of having. He was hoping that this would be different, as the last one he had to kick out after her drinking became uncontrollable and was hurting all of them--especially the kids! He did not want his wife to have her heart broken again and did not want to see the kids left confused and hurt.

The last relationship also almost cost him Jennifer when the ex-girlfriend, Vickie, ran into the side of the house with the car with her in it. Jennifer was in the hospital for a month and had barely made it out alive. Vickie had been drinking and lost control. It was at that point that Jennifer’s eyes were opened to the fact that Vickie had to go. He was thankful that it did not cost him the highest price and very thankful when they moved, and there was no chance of Vickie and Jennifer getting back together.

“Okay, honey. What are you thinking here? Is this really a need for working on something outside of the house, or is this to get the girl? I just don’t want you or the kids hurt again and hope that you know what you are doing.” Trey spilled as he reassured they were alone. His concern and fear showing all through his eyes as he approached Jennifer in hopes for an answer that would assure him and dismiss everything he felt deep inside.

“Trey, I do, and it was supposed to be about getting out of the house and having a purpose other than what I have here. When I met her, she was cute and dapper. There was instant attraction. I just know that there is something there. I hope that when I tell her of you and the kids that she is not scared away and that she will be accepting of the poly lifestyle. Don’t worry, though, I love you, and you come first. Why don’t we go out soon? I will find us a babysitter or get Tracy to watch the kids, and we could go connect. I love you!”

“I love you too, and we can go this Friday if you wish.” With that, Trey left the room, realizing what he did like about Jennifer being attracted to another person. He got more dates and more sex! He wondered if that was because part of her felt guilty or something. He also got more insecure no matter how hard she tried to tell him that he did not have to be--that she was his, and nothing would change that. He knew that she was not all the time his and remembered that she told him before they married that there would be a day that she would find a wife, too! He always assumed that just meant a girlfriend because in the twenty years they’d been together, she had not been serious enough about anyone else to say that she loved them. He was the only one she actually said she loved. What was he thinking to have agreed to this? Another benefit to the arrangement was that he was allowed to have girlfriends too, and this was something that not even the kids knew about. He always wanted it that way, even though it could save his wife some grief if the kids knew he dated outside the marriage too. His girlfriends did come over from time to time, but he never showed affection to them like he did their mother in front of everyone unless there was no kid in sight. Maybe it was time to find someone in this town that he could play with at times, too.

Jennifer finished laundry while pondering how to break the news to Lexi that she was mae tt she wrried with kids but wanted to date her. She did not know if Lexi even knew what polyamorous was and if it would be something that she would be willing to try. All Jennifer knew was that she was pulled to Lexi and had a connection like none other with her. She felt it was even stronger than the bond she had with her husband, and that scared her. Lexi was physically and mentally attractive to Jennifer, and she could see herself falling in love with her. Wow! What a day it had been, and she hoped tomorrow would bring some answers of how to proceed. Jennifer could not wait till 10 a.m. when she would get to see Lexi again.

Chapter Three

I woke up earlier than usual and was trying to figure out which suit to wear. I could not believe that I actually wanted to dress to impress today. I finally decided on my black pinstriped pants and vest with a grey shirt underneath. I decided a tie would be too much and just adorned my neck with a silver necklace that had always brought me luck. After getting all ready, I decided I would head over to Outwrite’s for a morning read of the paper and a cup of tea before I had to be at the office.

Once there, I ordered my Earl Grey tea extra sweet and a bagel. The place was busy. There was nowhere to sit, so I took my stuff and moved on to the office. I figured that, since no one would be there yet, I could get work done and be ready for when Jennifer was to be there for the tour. The packets were all done for the board meeting, and the proposal for new staff was written in two forms--one hidden in my papers, just in case it was needed.

After getting all the messages off my phone and answering emails, I could settle down on working on my write-up for the newsletter. I loved being able to boast about staff, how touched by patients I had been, how our staff touched a patient’s life, or talking about an upcoming fundraiser. This time I was going to talk about a need for volunteers and the opened staff positions. I just knew there would be some openings by the day’s end, and I knew the call for resumes had to go out quick. I also knew that one of those positions had to go to the starburst beauty I had met.

I was amazed at how attracted to her I was, and here I sat, knowing nothing about her. I had zoned out when she was talking about her life, focusing on her beautiful eyes. I felt ashamed that I had not paid better attention, but I knew that I would have time to learn all the little details of her life. When I had seen her there at the restaurant, I fell hard for her and found the shyness in me bubble up. I somehow knew that, one day, I would ask this woman to be my wife.

Ten came before I knew it, and the buzz from the front receptionist told me that Jennifer was here. I quickly ran by the bathroom and checked myself, putting a stray hair back in place. I had to stop myself from running to the front and tried to remind myself to be professional and act like a grown up, not a lovesick teenager. I was nervous, though, and felt myself needing to relax. As I rounded the front, there was the starburst beauty wearing scrubs and looking mesmerizing. Even in this get-up, she took my breath away.

“Jennifer, so glad you could make it!”

“Thank you for letting me come in here by myself to get the tour of the clinic. I thought I wmaybe I could afterwards help with something and get the feel of everyone here, if you don’t mind me doing so?”

“Sure. I will just need you to fill out some paperwork and run a quick background check. Tell ya what. Let’s get that done first. That way, the background can be running while I give you the full tour?”

“That sounds great! So, which way to your office?” As she looked around, I found myself getting nervous to be in the same space alone with her. I led her down the hall to my little corner office and moved things off a chair so she could sit down. After finding the papers for volunteers to fill out, I went to get us some coffee and tea. I needed a refill and figured she could go for something too. I came back and handed her the coffee with just a little cream, like she had requested, and waited for her to finish the packet.

When she handed me the completed packet, I quickly brought up the site to run the background check. Soon, though, my heart sank as I saw that she had a husband listed. There went any thoughts I had of dating her. I was angered at this new information and wondered why she did not let me know. I hoped there was a possibility of dating her, yet we were talking about hiring her--not her personal life. Of course this beauty would be off the market. Why not? She was more than amazing. As the hopes died away, I typed in her information and sent it off.

For the rest of the tour, I tried my best to act as nothing had changed. I was having a difficult time at that. I showed her the fifteen exam rooms, introduced her to the staff, showed off the offices, and explained that we didn’t have physical records as we’d had an electronic medical record system from day one. I explained our history and how we originally did not have our own space. Then I showed off our board/education room and counseling offices. I told how we had added, through contract with another nonprofit, two full-time counselors to help bring a total wellness aspect. I explained how, one day, we hoped to have a nutritionist and chiropractor on staff where a person could have a team working to their benefit. We finally made our way back to my office and, as I was checking the status of the background, she closed my door.

“Lexi, I have to be honest with you...I cannot get you out of my mind and want to know if maybe we could leave for a few and talk somewhere else.”

“What?” Is all I could get out. Is she saying what I think? What about the husband? What is going on here? My mind raced.

“Lunch. Let’s go get some and talk.”

I shook my head and followed her out to the parking lot. I motioned that I would drive and opened the door for her. I did not know where to go and figured I would just drive until I saw something. First thing I saw was a little Greek restaurant that I knew would give us some time to talk as their food was great but service was slow.

“Lexi, I need to tell you about myself and family and hope to hell that I don’t scare you away as I am strongly attracted to you. So, please, before you start jumping to conclusions and say no to the idea of going out-. I know that Billy said you were not dating at this time, but he thought that you might be up to the idea to date again.” Reminder to self to kill Billy next time I see him. “See, I am bisexual and polyamorous.”

“Poly what? What are you talking about?”

“I believe in more than one love--more than one partner.”

“Oh. Are you talking about being a swinger?”

“No, not at all. I believe in multiple partners and it is not all about sex or switching partners like swingers.”

As she went on and on about her husband, kids, and how she wanted a girlfriend and a wife one day, I found myself getting excited at the thought of being that person and, at the same time, scared to death that I would not be able to share. She continued to draw me in as the waitress came with our food and kept us refilled on drinks. What she explained to me was interesting, and I found myself wondering if this might be the perfect type of relationship for me. It was as if it answered my need for space and yet for companionship also. Her being poly--would that mean I was? Oh no. Did she expect me to be with him too? She must have been reading my mind at this point.

“And no worries. It is just dating me. Not Trey. I don’t expect you to be like us. If you wanted to see others you could, but I would not tell you to or tell you not to. So, what do you think?”

“Uh? I am intrigued. I just don’t know what to think, but I would like to try,” I said, not knowing what I agreed to. My mind was off in thoughts of what this would look like, and fears started to creep in.

“Great. Then Saturday night, we will go out and see if what we feel can blossom into something! I just know that, right now, I cannot get you out of my mind. Yet there is one last question I have.”

“And that would be?”

“Can I kiss you? I want to kiss you so badly, and I don’t know if you will let me.”

“Yes, but please wait ‘til we get to the car. I don’t want the owners harassing me today. They know I am a lesbian. I want to not be too public or tell people ‘til I know for sure I can do this with you.”

“Yes. That is understandable. This is not for everyone, and the most important thing is honesty. You must know, too, that you have to share. I am not going to leave him for you, and I am not going to not see you because of him. This can be a beautiful thing, and I expect you to need to have some time to get used to it. I am asking a lot of you and don’t expect you to know right away whether this is what you want or not.”

Soon we left the restaurant and got to the car. Before I got a chance to do anything else, she kissed me--full-blown glorious, amazing kiss that blew me off my rocker. I loved it and wanted more. She had such soft lips, and all I could think of doing was kissing her again. I did not want to stop kissing her. She pulled back, though, and I found myself aching already to kiss her again and more. Yes, I already longed to touch her intimately.

“Lexi, wow! I don’t know what to say. That was amazing, and I hope you liked it too.”

“Like is an understatement! Can we do that again?”

“Not ‘til you pick me up Saturday night at seven! Now, let’s get back to the office, and let me see if I can help up the front while you get your work done.”

“Work? You expect me to work after all you told me and all I felt3">d all I just now kissing you?”

While letting out a giggle, she shook her head yes. I drove us back to the clinic and seemed to float on the way back to my little nook of an office. I did not even realize that Kelly was hot on my tail until I sat and sighed. Shit! This is not what I wanted just yet--to be snapped back into reality.

“Okay, spill. Who is the chick? She is hot!”

“That is Jennifer, the RN I told you about. Isn’t she just beautiful?”

“You’re going there, aren’t you? You like her, and you two are going to go out soon?”

“The answer to both is yes! I just have to wrap my mind around a few things before we go out on Saturday.”

“Lexi, what is there to wrap around? Go for it!”

Not knowing if I should tell her or not, I opted to just leave it be without her judging me. I needed to work through it before I told anyone else. And how come Billy did not say anything to me? I had to call him and get more information. That went on my mental list of things to do. Maybe I could catch him after the board meeting tonight.

“Why are you here? To know about her or is there something else on your mind? I know you, Kelly, and you always have something up your sleeve!”

“I just keep thinking about tonight and wonder how in the world I am going to behave! I am so frustrated and don’t know if I can control myself tonight if we don’t get what we so desperately need!”

“I know, and it will all work out! Billy is already trying to talk to the entire board members one-on-one before tonight to get a feel for things. He says that there are at least three ready to vote yes.”

“Do you really think that we will be able to add more staff?”

“It may not be what we first wanted, but yes, I think we will be bringing in some new people soon! I guess I need you to start thinking of whom you want them to be. We will need also to have a contract approved by the board for the providers if we are lucky enough to bring on any. Do you have something drafted?”

“Yes, Lexi. I have that, and it is printed. All we have to do is put in the names of the people.”

“Great! Do you have anyone in mind?”

“Well actually, yes! That lady you brought in today who is volunteering and you like is a really good RN, so her for one of the support staff. The other nurse is a guy that I met who is an LVN and, right now, works at the hospital on the night shift and really wants out of there. He is gay and tired of the harassment. Then, for the three providers, I would like to bring in some fresh out of school ones that are on top of their game. The clerk is the only one I don’t have a thought on.”

“Well, we will be putting the call out tomorrow in the a.m. to the job boards and paper, Everyone--even that starburst beauty--will have to fill out an application, give a resume, and go through an interview with you and myself. I don’t want favorites played here, and I don’t want anyone to think that we hired anyone without testing the water for the best fit! We might have them do like her--volunteer a daywouunteer or two to get a feel.”

“I agree, and don’t worry. It will be okay. Let’s just make it past tonight first.”

Kelly left, and I quickly got back into my work. I still had payroll to run, bills to pay, and bills to send. I also had that phone call to make to Billy. I hoped that he could just come early and talk. There was so much to discuss about the meeting and also about Jennifer. I wanted to know what he knew about her.

Billy agreed to come early, and I seemed to fly through the rest of the day with catching glimpses of Jennifer and her smile. I forgot how mind-numbing my job could be at times. I also did not have my own assistant and was dreaming part of the day about how nice it would be to have one. I always opted for more staff to help patients over getting an assistant for myself, but I thought maybe it was getting time to get one.

As agreed, Billy was walking in early while arguing with someone on the phone, and I figured it was about his artwork and how it deserved to be in a gallery. He was passionate about his work and did not take rejection very easily. Billy was a sculptor and, sometimes, his pieces were very controversial and caused people to be exasperated with his work of the nude body and homosexuality. He was soon off the phone and walking my way.

“Lexi, why did you have the need to meet early today? I thought that we had things all worked out and, trust me, you might just get all that you wish for tonight!”

“This time, Billy, it is not about work! I want to know what you know about Jennifer and this whole poly thing!”

“I see she talked to you. And, from the look on your face, you are taken by her. She is one amazing lady, and if I was straight or a woman, I would jump on the chance to be with her. And you will love the kids. They are sweet and kind. Even if things don’t go right, maybe it will be what you need to get back into the dating game. Jennifer is probably just what you need to open up and give away some of that love you have in you. Just let things go and take the ride!”

“Easier said than done, and this is all new to me! Besides, Billy, I am about to hire her, so how in the world can I date her too? And then this whole having a family thing already-. I don’t know if I am the sharing type.”

“You will be, and you will like it!” Billy jokingly said, not knowing the fears in me, but putting some of them at ease with his approval of this whole thing. I just hoped he was right and we could keep work and dating separate. I wanted more than anything for it to be time for our date so I could see her again and kiss those luscious lips once more.

“Where should I take her for our date, then? You seem to know some of what we both like.”

“I say you should do a picnic in the park and catch the movie they will be showing. That way, if the conversation does not go well, you have the movie to zone in to. I have a feeling, though, that you two will become a power team that is inseparable. You will see. She is just what you need in your life!”

Before we could talk anymore about the starburst beauty, the board members started showing up for the meeting, and I knew I needed to start passing out the packets. Kelly also arrived and took her seat right next to Billy, and I hoped that he could keep a leash on her t a ash on emper. Once all had arrived, we set down to business.

We moved quickly through the opening and reports, making our way finally to the business at hand. I was so glad that things were moving smoothly until I noticed my menace of a board member, Pat, was arguing with Kelly on the staffing needs. All I could do was watch the disaster of a yelling match.

“You don’t understand! We have patients waiting an hour to two hours before being seen, and my staff is ready to walk if help does not come soon.”

“I do understand, but it just means that you need to make the practitioners spend less time with people so that they can make it through everyone quicker!”

“No. That is not the answer. These are people not cattle, and they have the right to be heard--not herded,” I finally hollered. It drew everyone’s attention and all got really still. “We must remember that we opened this with the mission that appointments would take as long as needed and that patients would not feel as though they were being herded through the clinic. Therefore, I beg you to please vote to allow our staff to be grown in order to meet the ever-growing needs of our patients.”

Billy finally decided that it was time for a vote. “Who will make motion so we can vote?” John spoke up and made a motion that blew us all away. “I make motion that Lexi and her management team be allowed to hire any staff from this point on that is needed to meet the needs of the clinic.” I was floored by it and looked to see that everyone’s--especially Kelly’s--jaw dropped. Before anyone could say anything, Ken seconded the motion.

“Then it is time to vote. All in favor, show by raise of hand,” Billy declared. All but two raised their hands, and the motion passed. Kelly smiled for the first time in days, and I knew that meant she had more in mind to hire than what she had told me she needed. I knew that tomorrow morning was going to be an extremely busy one getting things in line to start the hiring process. Then a catch got thrown in Kelly’s and my plans.

“I move that any provider contracts be brought to the board, and we meet the top three candidates for each position before they start working.” Pat sat there with a smirk as though she had just stopped this whole hiring thing.

“Do I have a second?” Billy questioned.

“Yes,” said Tomas.

“All in favor, raise hands.” And this time it was almost a split but squeaked by. I did not fear this, though, because I was already thinking of how to tell Jennifer that she had a job. Do I invite her to lunch and then spring it on her, or do I tell her right away on the phone? Then I panicked. Do I even have her number? I remembered that she filled out paperwork, and it had to be there.

The board meeting finally came to a close, and I was never so happy to have everyone be quick to leave. I scurried in the office, found Jennifer’s number, and plugged in my cell, deciding that I would call on the way home. I locked up and caught up with Billy and Kelly outside. After lighting a cigarette, I jumped right into the conversation.

“At least now we can get the clerks and support staff that is needed. I know that Betty wanted someone also for the billing department, and I was shocked that she was not here tonight as our chief financial offic boancial er. How has she been?”

“Betty is recouping still from the flu and will be back on Monday, last I heard. I am so glad that we will be hiring as soon as tomorrow. Thank you, Billy, for your help in things.”

“No worries. Just glad that we got better than expected and also will be able to put a call out for more providers. You two have your work cut out for you.”

“Yes, we do, and I plan to start in the a.m. hiring the first new RN!”

“That wouldn’t be one Jennifer Scoop would it?” Kelly said, laughing.

“Yes, it will be, and I am calling her on the way home!” I waved and jumped in my car and drove off before the two hecklers could change my mind. I waited until I was on the road and then set the phone to dial her.

It rang and rang, and finally the disappointing voice mail came on, but her voice was still music to my ears. “Jennifer? Lexi. Call me when you can please. Something has come up. If you don’t get a chance tonight, be up at the clinic in the morning. Bye.”

Damn, It felt good to leave that message! I was extremely excited and had the hardest time again falling asleep once I got home. Part of me was starting to get addicted to this idea of having someone romantic in my life. Sweet Mrs. Sandwoman, drift me away and make it morning already!

Chapter Four

Jennifer was sitting at the table cutting coupons when Trey got home. They had a little time still before the kids got home from choir camp and school. This was a rare occasion for the two of them and in past, they would use it to get some snuggle time in, but this day was not going to be one of those days. Trey sat down at the table next to her and helped with the organizing of the coupons.

“Any thoughts, Jen, on what we are going to do when the renter moves?”

“No. I was hoping you would have one.”

“Just that I don’t want a girlfriend of yours in it for a bit of time. We need a renter to help pay to be here-not someone you are seeing.”

“Oh, honey. You are too funny!”

Trey was watching Jennifer and from the glow coming off her, he knew something was up. He just hoped that it was not that she wanted to date again. He hoped that things would get calm first, but he knew his wife, and this look said differently.

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“Spill it! What are you up to, Jennifer? I know you.”

“Nothing, I swear. I just kissed her and liked it!”

“Oh, so are you two going to date? I thought you were just going to work together and not date anyone for some time.”

“I cannot explain it, love. There is this uncontrollable pull to her. Don’t worry, honey. She will not be like the past. She is different!”

“That is what you said last time, and look how that turned out.”

“Honey, I don’t say who you can date, so please don’t ask this of me.”

“Fine! I love you and don’t want you hurt. Do whatever you want! Just don’t bring her here to meet the kids ‘til you know for sure more about her. Take it slow. And remember that you’re not the only one that gets hurt when things don’t work out.”

In his anger, Trey closed up. He knew that, no matter what he said, Jennifer would do what she wanted, and if he wanted to keep their relationship good, he should just back off. It was so hard to watch her go out and get hurt time after time. He did not think anyone would love her like him and definitely no one would share like he had. A small part of him hoped that she would never find anyone that would love her and share her, but another part hoped she would find that woman who could share so this search would stop.

Jennifer stomped off, feeling as though Trey was trying to control her, forgetting that they all had come to trust Vickie and, when she turned out to be an abusive, full-blown alcoholic and abusive, everything fell apart. Jennifer just knew that there was something different here, and she could not imagine that there was a mean bone in Lexi’s body. She knew, though, Trey was right and that she needed to take it slow and not rush this just to make sure.

Sitting on her bed, she took time to remember the good parts of her relationship with Vickie. She allowed herself to cry, for she loved Vickie enough to let go and pushed her out when the relationship was no longer healthy for either of them. Jennifer had tried to put up the lasttwo years of abuse and drinking. She hoped that she would be able to fix her or get her to stop, but she finally realized that would be impossible. There was still love for Vickie inside her, but Jennifer knew that the breakup and now the space separating them was best.

Jennifer’s phone rang, snapping her out of her head and tears. She looked and saw a number she did not recognize. She decided to let it go to voice mail and reminded herself to check it later. She needed to compose herself and knew that the kids would be home soon.

When the kids finally did get home, life resumed again, and soon Jennifer was able to let go and enjoy the evening. Plans for sports and other activities were made for each of the kids. Also, Jennifer successfully talked Tracy into watching the kids for her to go out with Trey on Friday. She decided that she would wait until then to tell him that she was going out with Lexi on Saturday. She felt it was better to tell him alone. She knew she had to keep it from the kids until they had a chance to establish a relationship and get Lexi to see that poly lifestyles can work if both parties work at it.

Life at the Scoops’s house was always full of activities. Betweeateties. Bn dinner, homework, and extra activities, it became hard to have just a little time to relax. There was always toys to pick up and laundry that needed to be done. On top of that, there were still boxes to unpack. Jennifer decided that everyone needed to unpack one box before bedtime, and she helped each kid do theirs. It helped them feel like the house was becoming a home again to get the boxes gone.

Bedtime came quickly, and each of the little kids fought going to bed. Some nights were like this and tried Trey’s and Jennifer’s nerves. It was nice that Tracy did not have to be put down any more, and Jennifer waited for the day when the other two were old enough to not have to go through the routine.

Finally the kids were out for the night, and Jennifer remembered her voicemail. She decided to check it and found the excited voice of Lexi. It was too late to call back, and she decided that she would be at the office right after dropping the kids off at school. Jennifer wondered what was so exciting, as Lexi really did not tell her anything over the phone.

Had Lexi gotten the board to agree? Did she have a job? Or was Lexi just excited about what was blossoming between them? Jennifer’s mind was racing with thoughts--between Trey and his concerns to Lexi and the possible future. Jennifer smiled at the thought of the future that there could possibly be. She also thought about the fact that, soon, she would need a new renter below in the basement as the old one was moving out. She thought maybe--just maybe--that would Lexi.

Chapter Five

I checked my phone as soon as I woke and saw still no call from Jennifer, and my mind raced. Maybe she was just playing me a fool. Maybe she was not what she thought she was. I felt myself getting scared and dreaded going to the office, expecting disappointment to be awaiting me. I just knew that the starburst beauty would not be like that and would show. Something was different here. I reminded myself that she also had kids and a husband and that maybe the night was too full for her to call. I told myself that she was not the past and went about my morning routine.

I got to the office at nine only to find my fears were smashed away as Jennifer sat there waiting on me. She looked so damn good in scrubs. It drove me wild. I began to wonder if we could work together, as I would be one of her bosses. She must have heard my thoughts as she smiled and gave me a nod yes.

“Well, shall we go set up things in your office? I hear I have paperwork to do, and Kelly said I passed her screening and am cleared to be hired. She is ready for me to start the EMR training right away.”

“Then we better get busy. We pay fifty-five thousand a year, and I know that you could make more elsewhere, but I hope that does not turn you away.”

“No. That is good. I don’t work for money always. As I said, if you couldn’t have hired me, I would have volunteered, and if you would rath toer use my position to get another person, I will still volunteer here. Besides, to get to see you daily makes it all worth it.”

I blushed and reminded myself that, here at the office, I had to be professional and not let my growing desire to kiss her surface. This was hard. As I watched her walk down the hall towards my office, I just knew if I was not careful, I would break my own rules of no play at work, as I had just broken my other rule, which was no dating my coworkers. I learned quickly that we did not have the same rules. As soon as we were in the office, she shut the door and latched herself to my lips, kissing me like no other ever has.

“Thank you!” she said, as she pulled back. “I needed to do that since you walked in the door. I promise not to make a habit of that. I just have not been able to think of anything else since we kissed yesterday.”

“You must always get what you want. I was trying my hardest not to do the same since we are at work.”

“Oh, Lexi. You have to live a little! No, I do not always get what I want; otherwise, we would not be here and--well, I better not say much more for fear I will scare you away.”

I tried my hardest to ignore that statement as a growing desire to be with her grew. I worked on finding the paperwork and pulled up my computer to get a contract drawn up off our template. My mind was a blur, though, as I thought how her beauty would only grow in intoxication with no clothes on. I wanted to know what she felt like under me and on me, with our skin touching. I told myself quickly to clear my head as I shook it and concentrated on work. This was going to be a task to keep from giving into desires at work. I was thrilled that we were going to get to be near each other and, soon, we would be going out on our date.

“I have to say I am looking forward to Saturday night.”

“Me too, Jennifer. I still don’t know about all this.”

“No worries. I will show you the ropes, and you will find that being with someone poly is easy.”

“Will I now? Just how easy are you?” Starting to feel the flirty self come through was nice. I just hoped that things would ease a little so I could get some work done. I had so much on my plate and, as tempting as it was for me to suggest to her that we should go elsewhere and spend time with each other, I knew that it couldn’t be done. I was blessed with a distraction when Kelly showed up at the door.

“Am I interrupting?” Kelly said with a large smile.

“No. Jennifer is just filling out her paperwork and will be all yours soon. What brings you by?”

“To see about work hours and start date for Jennifer. We talked earlier, and I cleared her. Good to see you! And to see about the classified ad to send out for the rest of the positions.”

“Jennifer, why don’t you step out and finish filling out your paperwork. Your hours are going to be eight to five, if something comes up or you need to work out something different, set that up with Kelly here.”

“Oh, yes it does! I take it Monday through Friday? And can I start today?”

“Yes to both!” Kelly and I both sablend I boid excited to have our first addition to the staff.

Jennifer left to fill things out, and I watched Kelly beam as she knew this was the new prospect for dating. Kelly was not going to be easy to get anything past, and I knew she would soon be hounding me for information. This was not something I really wanted right now as I was still figuring out what I was doing.

“I know that look, and don’t ask. Please. Let’s just talk shop and let me figure things out before asking me tons of questions.”

“All right. Allright, Lexi. No questions on the love life. Just answer me this--are you okay? I know that you have come through much, and I don’t want to see you hurt again. I do want to see you happy with someone again and think it would be a wonderful thing. And I can see the connection between you two and hope for the best!”

“Yes, I am. I will be okay, and don’t worry so much. Right now it is just a date on Saturday.”

“Okay, I hear you. Just know I am here for you. Now, to business. We will have to find nine providers to present to the board next month. How are we going to do that? Also, we need to get the ad out yesterday for all the positions!”

“I am already working on that! I plan to post for each type of position separately and also find out if any graduating NPs would be willing to come this way from the nearby college.”

“Well, let’s put a call out for two billing clerks, four regular clerks, and three more nurses. As for providers, I say we stay at three positions ‘til later on.”

“Why so many clerks right now? Why not one billing and two regular? And three nurses? Really, Kelly?”

“Yes, Lexi! We need that many! Right now, the girls are getting behind and need the help. Two of the clerks can help with the prescription program. Betty is working with just one billing clerk. She needs another. Besides, it is time you got an assistant. This is the best solution to the growing need. Face it, though we are a GLBT clinic, not all our patients are and come because we are the best at being friendly and caring!”

“I hear you. I just need to see what is in the budget and move funds around. You may have to put up with some now and some next month or the month after, as we get more funds. I will see about getting a grant writer to get us some more operating grants for expansion.”

“I don’t care how you make it happen, just make it happen! I have faith you will find the money!”

“Glad someone does!”

With that, Kelly was out of my hair for now, and I could get to those ads and recap the board meeting. I feel as though this task of finding new employees was going to be a major undertaking requiring some late nights. I just hoped that the applications would come in quick and that Kelly remembered not to jump on the first ones. I knew she would evaluate each one for a perfect fit, but I was starting to feel that her need to fill positions was driving her more than the need to find the right person for our patients and team.

Shit! I almost forgot that this afternoon is a staff meeting. I had not even begun an agenda for that. Quickly, I pulled up the last one and got to work on it. I hoped, at lunch,e od, at l Billy could answer the phone and do a quick meeting with Kelly and me.

After getting the basic stuff down, it was time to add the new items. I knew first I needed to tell them we were hiring and second introduce them to Jennifer, but how did I do that without showing feelings that were already starting to bubble up inside me? This was already proving to be hard. I hoped she did not take my attitude at work to be how it would be on a date, as here I had to be professional. I was falling for her fast, and I knew it. I really wanted to be the charming me that I knew I could be and flirt with her.

“Here is the paperwork!” Jennifer said as she came bursting in.

“Oh. Done already?”

“Yes. Lunch is a couple hours away. What are you doing?”

“I have to get my two chiefs in a quick meeting and then to go over the staff meeting. Why?”

“I say you do that now and we head out for a bite later!”

“As tempting as that is, I can’t. Too much to do here.”

“Okay, I had to try. What do you want me to do now?”

“Well, tell me about your nursing background some more as I write up these ads so I can properly introduce you at the staff meeting. Then I will hand you off to Kelly, who will probably set you down in front of a computer to go through the training modules on the EMR.”

“Sounds thrilling. Not!” She giggled just a bit, giving me another hint of the cuteness that was Jennifer. So captivating!

“About me. What is there that I can say? You already know that I have been an RN for twenty plus years and just moved here from Herkimer, NY. I told you I was married and I have three wonderful kids.”

“How long have you been married?”

“Twenty years. Does that bother you?”

“Yes. I mean no. Wow! That is a long time! I guess I just thought it would be like five maybe. Let’s not go there right now. Right now it needs to be about work and not us. I am sorry, but this is hard to digest.”

“It is okay. I get that there will be things we both learn that might be hard to digest at times. I promise you, though, that it will be okay. ‘Til we get a chance to talk about this, let’s stay on work at hand, and Saturday we will talk. Promise that you will not freak out yet on me?”

“I promise. And thank you. So what else do I tell them?”

“I don’t know. I guess that I am the new RN.” As she said this, her smile intoxicated me, and I knew that though she had a twenty-year marriage under her belt, there had to be a way to be with her without that standing in my way.

I took Jennifer to Kelly, who did just as I predicted and sat her down at the computer, doing modules. Then I set up for Kelly to be at my office at noon to talk about the staff meeting with Billy on the phone. I was starting to feel like I could have her work here and stay on track until I found myself sitting at the desk daydreaming about Saturday more than I was working on the tasks at hanwe tasks ad. I had to get things done and shake her from my mind long enough to do so.

Just when I thought that I could get back to work, Janice came running in!

“Is it true? Do we get new staff?”

“Yes, Janice. We are going to grow in staff once again. I guess the good news is spreading quickly!”

“Of course it is. We know the first RN is already on staff. You move fast, Woodsworth!”

“Oh, hush!”

I knew that I couldn’t trust Janice with any information that I did not want all over. I also knew that I did not want her take on my dating options right now. Janice was a good person, but I knew that this would blow her away and not be something she would so quickly approve of. Though she was a lesbian, she only saw things her way-monogamous, even in dating.

“Well, glad we are getting help. We are adding patients every day and don’t want to not have the means to see them. Any thoughts on turning some of the storage space into some more exam rooms?”

“Don’t push it just yet. Right now it is hard enough to find the funds to get the new staff.”

“All right. I just know that, as we expand, we will need more rooms soon. I never imagined we would be like this!”

“Nor did I. Now let me get back to work or else you won’t have any new staff to boss around!”

Janice disappeared as quickly as she had arrived. I found it easy to dive this time back in getting the ads written and off to the newspaper. Normally tasks did not take me this long, and I already knew that the starburst beauty had me off my game at work. Saturday could not get here quick enough, and it was only Wednesday. I also knew it was time to start doing to-do lists again to keep me on track.

The rest of the day went easier than I expected, and the staff really took to Jennifer. I did not even have to get into all I learned about her. The staff meeting was quick and painless. After that, I packed up and made my way home as soon as I could. Jennifer walked to the car with me and we got a quick stolen kiss in.

Once home, I could sit back and think on things. Twenty years or marriage was something. and How in the world could her husband be okay with all this? I already had my fill of men and had a hard time thinking any were good. That was one of the reasons I found women much more attractive, besides the fact that the male anatomy never got the engine started for me. Could one really be good and open to her being with me? Am I really considering dating her? Shit, we were not talking about moving in or anything like that right now. And this might be good for me. I was full of both hope and fear. I just prayed that what I was thinking of doing would not turn out to be a total flop.

Chapter Six

Trey tried to wait patiently for Jennifer to return home from tomehe clinic and yet he kept pacing looking at the clock. It had been a long time since she got home after him and the kids, and he just did not like being the one getting home first. While he had the kids work on chores, he began dinner. His thoughts raced to the idea of her dating again. Would this be different? He had doubts and did not know how to put them to rest. Trey had every right to doubt. Jennifer did not always think things through before acting them out.

Jennifer soon walked through the door, feeling worn out from the day of training on the EMR and getting to know everyone. She collapsed on the couch and knew sleep would come easy that night for her. Yet she also seemed to glow and have excitement about the new job.

“Jen, is that you? How was your day?”

“Yes, Trey, it is me, and the day was a bore at times since I am training on their system and yet exciting as I know, as soon as I get this down, I will be doing triage.”

“That has always been your specialty.”

Jennifer could tell that Trey had something on his mind and was just beating around the bush. She did not know if it was good or bad--just that it was driving her nuts to see him so disconnected. Jennifer figured that it had mostly to do with the whole Lexi thing, but she just wanted this night to not fight about it—to be able to revel in the fun of the day. She wanted to be able to enjoy her family. A peaceful evening, though, was not common in the Scoop house, and she knew her husband would soon burst if he did not speak.

“Trey, what is it? What is on your mind? You are moping around and beating that dead bush again. Spill before you explode.”

“Nothing, honey. Really. It’s just that I’m still figuring out how you know this will be different. I guess the problem is I don’t know her and see what you see. I am trying to trust your judgment, but the past is making it hard to do that.”

“Well, why not this then? We have a potluck Saturday night, and I will invite her. You can meet her then. We have not had one since we moved in, and I do miss them. We could invite all the people we have met since the we got here. And I promise--even though you will not be with her like some in the past, you will like her. She really is something special.”

“Well, I like the sound of this. I do like to entertain and would love to get to know more of our friends.”

Jennifer saw this as her escape from having to tell him about the date and get the date at the same time. This would be exciting. She would put an invite out on Facebook and then tell all at work. What would be the cause, though? Every potluck had to have a theme in her eyes---even if it was a made-up one. Then it hit her--a housewarming, since they had not had one yet. Jennifer was getting excited at the idea. She loved planning things.

“That sounds good, Jen.” And with that, the planning began!

“It should be a housewarming. You invite all on your friend list, and I will invite all on mine. I will also see if the kids have anyone that they would like to invite.”

“We are having a potluck?” John David said as he came into the room looking for dinner.

“Yes, Saturday night. Is therithght. Ise anyone you want to invite?”

“Can we invite Tommy?”

“Yes.”

“Invite Tommy to what, Mom?” Tracy said as she and Gracie entered the room.

“To a potluck, and you two get to invite someone too.”

“Sounds good. I just don’t know who I want to invite.” Tracy replied.

“It will be Saturday, and I will need everyone’s help in getting the boxes at least in the garage if not unpacked. That means everyone pitches in to get the house ready.”

Everyone sighed at the thought and knew that soon Jennifer would be bossing them around to get the house done. Only half of the boxes had been unpacked as they had the essential items in them. Jennifer hoped that they could at least get the pictures out and some décor so it looked as though they had more than furniture.

Dinner was calm, and they went through all the good of the day. Then they all helped clean up afterwards. From there, Jennifer sent everyone to a room to unpack a box. She hoped that this would speed things along.

Trey went ahead and started getting the last of the kitchen boxes unpacked as it let him zone out and not think about things. Tracy used it also as a chance to get the last of the clothes out of her boxes. She also got out her prize trophies and put them out on her desk. The two little ones, on the other hand, needed help. Jennifer decided that their boxes would wait until after the potluck. Instead, she decided to work on the living room boxes.

Jennifer was feeling like things were getting accomplished around the house and pleased that the day no more boxes were lying around was soon approaching. She was getting tired of going to get something and only finding that it was not unpacked yet. She was also missing her books and knew those soon had to be next on her list to unpack.

When all were done with the boxes they were working on, Trey and Jennifer put the little kids down, kissed Tracy goodnight, and then went and crashed into bed. Exhaustion had set in. Jennifer fell asleep quickly thinking of Saturday and wondering if this was going to be too much for Lexi. Trey went to sleep thinking it was nuts that he was going to let her introduce Lexi to the family so soon.

Chapter Seven

“Lexi, can I change our plans on Saturday?” Was all I heard when Jennifer entered the room. I could only think that my fears were true and she had changed her mind about going out. Maybe she knew that I was using this as a jumping off place to dating and did not want it to be that. Maybe she had decided that I was not what she wanted.

“What do you mean?” I questioned while whipping around to see my starburst beauty.

“Well, Trey would like to have a potluck as a housewarming, and I would like you two to meet to help put some fears to rest for him and you. I really want to see you and figured this would give you a look into my life. Then, afterwards, we could go out or something.” Right there I realized my new fear--meeting the husband. This was not like past relationships where I met someone and stole them away. This was meet someone, meet the husband, and share.

“Really? Already? I don’t know.” My fears were way past bubbling up and must have been bubbling out of me. Fear had its firm grip on me now.

“It will all be good, and we could invite people you know too so you have some support structure. Take Kelly with you, and I will invite Billy and his partner. Please, will you do this for me?” With that she flashed the cutest puppy eyes at me. I melted all over.

“And how is a girl supposed to say no to that plea and look?”

“You’re not!” she said, smiling and laughing while walking out to get on the modules. I was very impressed that she had got through ninety percent the day before and knew that in no time she would be done and on the floor after a test at the end.

The next couple days flew by and--before I knew it--it was Saturday. I found myself walking through the grocery store with Kelly, trying to figure out what to bring to the potluck. I was not much of a cook and therefore decided I would bring cheesecake, figuring everyone loved desserts. Kelly decided that some beer would be good along with a cheese and cracker plate.

We soon left there and were on our way to the address that Jennifer had given me. I could not help but giggle when I realized her place was walking distance to my apartment complex. How could the fates have us this close and we not cater to it?

The house was packed with kids and adults running amok. As I ventured in with Kelly in tow, we spotted Jennifer in the kitchen, directing people. It was nice to see her away from the office and yet, at the same time, a part of me sank when it dawned on me that there were too many people around to have a nice moment for us.

“You made it!” Jennifer screamed across everyone. Her smile was glowing! I automatically got nervous on how to approach her. Could we kiss hello, or was that just when no one was around? I had my answer when she came up and hugged me and started pulling me elsewhere.

“Let me show you around the house. Also, I want to introduce you to some people, but I am sure there will be plenty you already know. Kelly, you can put the stuff over there on the table. Billy and his partner are here and were wondering when you were going to arrive.” Jennifer then quickly led me past everyone, pointing out the kids’ rooms, their restroom, then her restroom, and finally her bedroom. At this point, Jennifer shut the door and wrapped her arms around me, and our lips locked. Oh, this weak in the knee feeling she gave me! How wonderful it was! Just her and me--right there, right then, locked at the lips.

“Oh, thank you! I have been wanting nothing more than to do that!”

“Okay.” Really, that was all I could get out. My starburst beauty kisses me, and I say okay?

“I could not do that out there because I don’t know how many guests are truly okay with poly lifest th poly lyle and how comfortable you would be. Still got to talk all that out, and I promise soon we will get a chance to do so. You will see. It will be good, as long as we know things at the beginning.” Jennifer was a ball of energy and driving me insane with this bouncing all around. I just wanted to stay where we were and get to know each other.

Jennifer had other plans and pulled me out of the room and back to the potluck. People were everywhere, and kids ran through house. I met people that worked with Trey, all the kids, and found some common friends. Even though I protested and claimed not to be hungry as my nerves were unsettled, I found a plate shoved my way full of a bite of everything. Then, before I knew it, I stood face to face with Trey. Both of us looked uncomfortable and just stood there.

“You must be Trey.”

“Yes, and you must be Lexi.”

“Oh good! You two are meeting! Please don’t let me get in the way,” Jennifer said while disappearing to run kids outside to play.

“She is sure this whole thing will work, huh?” I said nervously, joking.

“Yeah. Jen always has a way of making what she wants a reality. Just don’t let her push you into something that you cannot handle or don’t want. She has a way having you say yes before you have thought it through completely.” I could see, as Trey said this, that he was hoping to deter my sights from going through with things. Or was I reading more into it? I was so questioning my motives and reality as it was and maybe I was pushing this onto his words so if I did not go through with this courtship, I could blame him.

“I won’t, and please don’t worry. I don’t wish to take her from you and do not know what is happening yet.”

“I know you don’t want that. Neither did the ones before when they first arrived. It is hard to know for sure since neither I nor she really have known you and--I am sorry. I have said too much and am out of place.”

“You have every right. You love her and want the best for her. I have not known her long, as you pointed out, but I do want her to be happy, and we both have to figure out what this is before things they get too far. This is something that cannot be undone without causing pain. She is something special and soon we will know if this will be a dating relationship, friendship with work, or just a working relationship. Just know that I need time to figure this out. It is all new to me.”

“I understand. When we were to wed, she would not say yes until I agreed that she could date women and find a wife, if possible. I just hoped one day that things would change, but I knew I had to let her be her and let her have what she wanted or I would lose her. I hope that you are what she has looked for in a wife. I need just as much time as you because it is hard for me too--watching her fall for another and not doubt what we have. I knew what I was getting into and know that you need the same.”

“Thank you and, if you don’t mind, may I please take Jennifer out after this so we can talk about things?”

“Yes, it is ok with me, and please know, Lexi, that it is never my permission that you need to date Jennifer.”

With that we thanked each other and parted ways. The potluck took lonnd uck tooger than I had hoped, but by the time it was over, I was ready to steal my starburst beauty away. I found her and soon found myself asking her for a walk. I sent Kelly off, telling her I would call her in the morning. Jennifer and I were soon able to set out for our walk after she said goodnight to Trey and the kids. It was beautiful and clear out. I felt like the luckiest person in the world next to her and felt myself swelling with joy. We walked for several minutes just holding hands. Then we stopped at a bench in the park that was nearby.

“Now that you have seen the home and met Trey and the kids, what are you thinking, Lexi?”

“I know I want to try to do this. I know that I feel the pull for you in many ways. I just don’t know how willing I will be to share. I don’t want to split you two up, but I have been so jealous in the past with just dating others and seeing them just talk to others. I don’t want to mess things up, and I don’t know...”

“Stop right there! You are a strong woman! We will take things slowly and talk things out. Communication of feelings is the key. I have faith. You will see this will be good.” And with that, we kissed. I was starting to become addicted to these kisses, no matter how long or quick they were. A part of me wanted to invite her to my place, and another part of me wanted to stay right where we were.

“You keep saying this will be good. So, how does this work? Do I just ask you out on a date? Are there any rules I need to know? And, if I do go through with this, what, in your eyes, does this look like?”

“Oh my, you do have so many questions! I tell you what. Let’s go back and get a car and go somewhere that has warmth and coffee. We can talk and split some pie as we get to know each other.”

“Very well. My place and my car are just around the corner. We are now closer to mine than yours. I found out tonight that we are walking distance from each other.”

“Oh, how convenient that is!”

As we walked to my place, I kept thinking of what we would talk about and how much would be about us and what we were becoming or how much would be about my past or her past. I craved to know about her and hoped that nothing she asked would be embarrassing for me to answer. I also wondered if it was too much to just ask her in for coffee and tea instead of going out. I really did not want to be anywhere that could contain interruptions.

“Would you rather come…”

“YES!” She let out before I could even finish my sentence.

“Not too soon to ask you in?”

“Not at all. I like the idea of being somewhere a little more private and without interruptions.”

“Those were my thoughts exactly. Some place where no one would be interrupting us as we talked and got to know each other.”

With that, I led her to my apartment, showing her around. Then I went to the kitchen to get our drinks. I started the tea kettle and coffee pot as she looked around the place. I found myself nervous, wondering what she was judging about me with my simple apartment. I hoped she did not find it too simple.

We sat down with our cups inv h our cu the living room and just looked at each other. I could get so lost in those eyes. I found so much beauty in this woman--both inside and out. How did this woman so quickly take my breath away and intrigue me beyond measure?. I did not know what to say or how to start this conversation. I was happy just being there with her. The conversational part was the cherry on top.

“Is your tea all right?”

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“You have barely taken a sip.”

“I was just admiring you and your beauty. It is so easy to get lost in you. Please tell me now. What are we doing?”

“Well, we will date once or twice a week and get to know each other. We will take things slowly and see what will happen. We are dating.”

“Oh, Jennifer! You are my starburst beauty. Why are we pulled so closely together? I can only think of being with you.”

“I don’t know. I just know that I feel it too and am excited to find out what is to come with us!”

As she said this, she leaned into me and kissed me ever so sweetly on my lips. I felt my control slipping away as I wanted more than anything to feel her skin and taste her sweetness. I assumed she heard my thoughts as she shifted just enough to where I could feel her heat. She drove me crazy inside and out with the feel of her so close.

“Lexi, could I spend the night? Or is that too forward and quick?”

“I don’t know what to say. What will Trey say about it tomorrow? And are you expecting anything?”

“Don’t worry about it, dear. I already took care of that before we left when I said, ‘Don’t wait up as I may not be back in ‘til late or morning.’ I just did not expect you to agree. And no, we don’t have to do anything; I just want to be close to you.”

Well, this was an amazing surprise for me! I would soon be lying next to her in my bed. My body shook at this thought. I did not see how I was going to sleep at all. Her scent was enough to intoxicate me and drive me insane. Though I did not feel tonight was the night to act on the urges in my mind.

“Would you mind if we sat up and talked, then slept? I just want to make sure that things are right before going to bed to do other things beside sleep.”

“That is fine. We don’t have to do anything until you are ready.”

“Are you sure?” I was pushing this for some reason and did not know why. I just really needed to make sure it was okay with her that I was not ready for us to have sex.

“Yes Lexi. I am sure. Now what to talk about?”

We sat up until 3 a.m., talking about all sorts of matters from childhood to personal religions. I found we had much in common and that it was very easy to talk to her. Finally Mrs. Sandwoman came to take us away, even though I still had so much to learn about her, and we crawled into bed. First time in a long time that I had someone next to me, and I did not know what to do. I found us each a t-shirt to wear, blankets, and a few extra pillows for Jennifer to use.

ou.="13"> When I woke up, I found her arm around me and leg across me. I also found my arm was holding her and her head was on my chest. I did not wish to move as I did not want right now to end. I did not want her to wake up. I found myself in bliss and knew I was falling quickly for this starburst beauty.

Chapter Eight

Trey was awoken by Gracie and John David, both asking to watch TV and wanting their breakfasts. It had been a long time since Jennifer had stayed out all night and had not been there for Saturday breakfast. Trey hoped that she had answers and had not just rushed into bed with someone. As Trey was making eggs and toast, Jennifer came in. She did not rush any answers, and he did not rush to ask the questions. They just kissed hello and set about getting breakfast done. Trey was glad that she was home.

“Mom, where did you go?” said Tracy, as she stumbled sleepily into the kitchen, trying to find a place to sit and wake up.

“I was out with a friend and spent the night elsewhere.”

“Here we go again,” Tracy tried to whisper but realized quickly she said it louder than she had thought. She knew that this meant her mother was dating a woman again and just could not bring herself to terms with it.

“Tracy, are you going with your friends today?” Trey said quickly to move the conversation away from where Jennifer had been. Trey did not like the kids questioning some things--especially when it came to adult relationships. He wished Tracy would let herself be their daughter--just be a kid and not know adult concerns like her mother dating, him dating, finances, and other things. Tracy sometimes acted above her age and used this as a way to manipulate and control things to get what she wanted. Many times, he had to remind her who the adults were and that she was yet to be one. Life still had much to teach her, and she was not to parent them.

“Don’t know yet. If I do, can I have some cash?”

“Sure, but just twenty, and you will have to babysit one night soon to make up for it,” Jennifer quickly threw in.

“Mom, I just babysat for you on Friday. Come on now!”

“Okay, okay. You earned it already. I was just wanting to get another night out of you. Guess it is time we start looking around for someone here since you obviously don’t need the cash. I do miss Meridith. She had such a way with your siblings.”

“Yeah, me too. I did not get stuck doing kid duty all the time. And the cash is not all that much.”

“Hey, you two. Get the others. Breakfast is ready!” Trey belted into the conversation.

All soon gathered around the table for the meal and discussed the day’s plans. Trey planned to take the little ones to the park, and Jennifer wanted to get to the boxes that they had moved to the garage for the potluck and clean the house. Tracy got a hold of her friends and made plans to go to the mall. Both Trey and Jennifer were glad to see that Tracy was quick to find people that were her age who she enjoyed going out with. One of the fears they had was that the kids would not fit into the new school and city.

Before Trey left, though, he really wished he could talk to Jennifer. He motioned to their room and asked the kids to clean up the kitchen. Soon they were alone, and Jennifer fell on the bed. Trey sat down next to her and sighed a little.

“What is on your mind, Trey?”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“If you mean sleep, yes. If you mean sex or any form of that, no.”

“Just don’t rush, honey. Please.”

“I won’t, Trey, and she does not want to either. She was the one that insisted on us just talking and not doing anything else.”

“Well, I am just worried that this won’t turn out how you hope it will. Has she ever been in a poly relationship? How do you know she won’t become like the others?”

“No she hasn’t, but she is willing to learn and even said she will take the kids sometimes for us to go out. Our relationship is important to her and she wants all to work or no part of it at all. She does not want to cause us problems.”

“All right. Well, we will see what happens. You can go through with it, I guess.”

“I don’t remember asking your permission as it was agreed when we married that there would be others, but thank you for it.”

Trey quickly realized that he had done what he was trying to avoid. He managed to piss off Jennifer. He knew it was time to go with the kids and was thankful that they would have time apart to relax. He just hoped that he would have the kids entertained at the park long enough for Jennifer to have time to process things and forgive him. Sometimes she just needed space to work things out, and he figured this would be one of those times.

Jennifer helped get them all out the door and turned back to look at the house. Where to start? So much to do and clean, but if she was truthful, her mind was still with Lexi and in bed. That is where she wanted to be right this moment. She thought of calling her, but was not sure if she should. The company would be nice today, and they could continue the process of getting to know each other.

She decided first to work on the living room and start some laundry. If, after that, she still wished to call her, she would, using it as an award. Before she could start, though, the doorbell rang. Jennifer was startled by it. Oh great. Now what? I just want to get done and call Lexi.

&nb heidth="0sp;

Chapter Nine

Lexi had just shut the door after letting Jennifer out when her phone rang. The caller id showed that it was Kelly. She could not avoid this call as she knew Kelly would just keep calling or show up if she did not answer.

“Yes!”

“So, what did you two do? You pushed me away so quickly last night. If I was not your best friend, I would be hurt.”

“I just wanted to spend the evening with Jennifer from that point on. Nothing happened. We just talked.”

“Uh, yeah. Okay. Nothing else happened? You expect me to believe that?”

“She did stay the night, but we just talked.”

“Nothing else at all happened? That sounds so boring to me. Come on, give me some juice, like did you kiss?”

“I wanted to do something but chose not to ‘til I know how this will play out. I just want to take it slow.”

“Come on, Lexi. Take a chance! You and she are meant to be. I can see it when you look at each other!”

“Really? You can? I know I just don’t want to rush things and ruin what is becoming something beautiful.”

“All right. So what do you have planned today? Want to get together later?”

“We will see. I will call you if decide to go out.”

“Okay. Well, talk to you later.”

“All right, Kelly. Bye.”

With that, we hung up. I quickly made me some eggs and toast. I ate while I read the paper and decided what to do with my day. I finished eating and cleaned up my dishes. Then decided a quick shower was needed. I also could not get Jennifer out of my mind and decided to take her up on that stop by any time invitation. It might be fun to just be there and see what goes on during a normal day.

The walk over to her place was quicker than I expected, and I saw Trey leaving with the kids. I took this as a good sign and waited until they were out of site to continue onward to the house. I was nervous and not sure what I was doing, but I just knew I wanted to see her and be close to her. I tried to figure out why I was there, but nothing came to mind. After a few moments, I rang her doorbell and waited for her to answer.

“Hey! Could not get enough of me last night?”

“No, I couldn’t. I just thought I would see if you wanted to continue that getting to know each other thing that we started last night.”

“Sure. Come on in. I was going to cuss whoever was at the dooht= r interrupting my time cleaning, but when I saw it was you, I have to say, I was thrilled.” With that, I went in and, before I knew it, I was the one pressing her against the door for a kiss.

“You know how to get a person all heated up!”

I did not know what to say, but knew right away what I wanted and waiting was nowhere in that equation. I wanted her right at that moment. I had promised myself to go slow, but at this moment, if she offered, I would not reject the idea of being with her.

“I want you.” That was all I got out of my mouth as I was already pushing my limits.

“Really, and how do you want me?”

“I want feel you with nothing between us. I want to kiss you all over. I want to know what it is like to be with you in bed and not sleep.” I shocked myself at my straightforwardness. It was now becoming hard to control it.

“Awe, well. That changes my plans altogether! I was going to clean and unpack some more boxes. With you here, I thought we would talk while I worked, but you do have a better idea.”

“If you don’t want to, I will wait ‘til we go out again. I just don’t think I can stay with the idea of going slow with you as I can think of nothing else right now. It was hard to behave last night as it was.”

“And waste this opportunity? I think not.”

She locked the door and led me to the bedroom. We took our time getting to know each other’s bodies. The time together was magical, and our connection grew. We lost time and, as we lay there in bliss afterwards, we heard the front door, and I jumped. I did not know how to react to the fact that everyone else was back. Her calmness helped, and we began to laugh as we quickly got dressed. Just as I put on my last shoe, her kids came running in.

“Hi. Who are you?”

“I am Lexi. And you are?”

“I am John David, and this is my sister Gracie. How do you know my mom? Where do you live? What are you doing here?”

“Man, you ask a lot of questions! I work with your mother at the clinic. I live around the corner in the apartments. And I came to visit your mom. I also was here last night and met you. Do your remember that?”

“You don’t have to entertain all his questions, Lexi. He will just keep asking them ‘til you run him off.”

“Hi. Thought I heard another voice back here. What are you two up to?” Trey said as he walked around the corner. I felt myself automatically blush and wished that I had waited ‘til we were at my place. I just looked away as I felt for sure he could tell by my face. I was seeing that being with a person married and with kids were very different when there were others I had dated in the past. I knew I needed to get used to the idea of kids all around and a husband that I just did not know what to think of.

“Nothing of your concern, Trey. Trust me. We were just about to go out to the garage, and Lexi here was going to keep me company while I go through the boxes. How was the park?” And right there I knew this woman was amazing! She knew how to keep a person from getting more e Cettght="13mbarrassed than she already was and help them save face. She also knew just what to say to get subjects changed in a flash.

“Well, I am going to stay in here and work on getting the kids’ rooms back in order. We ran into Jamie and her two kids at the park. She will be by later to pick up ours for lunch.”

“Wonderful, honey. I am so glad that she is coming.”

He scurried the kids out to work on their rooms, and we headed to the garage. Boxes were everywhere and marked with rooms on them. I did not even know how they were going to have room for the rest of the stuff that I was seeing here in the garage.

“I know what you are thinking. Where is all this going to fit? Well, most of it will be going to goodwill. I am going through it and then, once I have things slimmed down, I let the kids choose just so many items to keep, and the rest goes. For Trey’s and my things, I go through it, and then let him. We knew that we would be downsizing here, but it was time to really get rid of some of this. Most of the harder things to get rid of, though, are the kitchen items, as I love to cook. I just really have a hard time downsizing in that area. I also wanted to do this before we moved, but there was no time to get it done.”

“I was wondering about that. Iwant to thank you for not saying what we had been up to. I was very embarrassed and did not know what to do.”

“Well, I will let Trey know that we are involved sexually now, but it is just because we both let each other know. I just did not want to say it in front of the kids.”

“I know you have to let him know. I just don’t want to be around for that conversation. I don’t know how comfortable I am yet.”

“Oh, my sweet Lexi. It will be fine. You will see that this is not a big thing. And it was so much fun and amazing. Thank you for the gift.”

“That was fun! And, no, it is you I ought to be thanking for it. I cannot wait ‘til we can do it again. It would also be nice to maybe pass out together and have time to recoup before the next project at hand.”

We both smiled and laughed at that. After a few hours of chatting about who Jamie was, the different things that Jennifer loved to cook, and going through boxes, we finally took a break and took the first load of things for the kids to go through into the house. It was then that we noticed that the kids were gone and Trey was busy making us lunch. Trey said Jamie decided to pick them up and take them to a friend’s birthday party. We sat down, and Jennifer leaned in to me and told me to watch. I did as she walked up to Trey and shocked me to death with what came out of her mouth.

“Trey, love. Lexi and I became sexually active together today. Now you know that we did not wait as we just couldn’t.”

“Okay. I just hope you two know what you are doing.”

I stood there in shock. Was it really that easy to tell him? I did not know what to think or do. Was this happening? Was it possible for a person to have two lovers and each get along? I guess I was going to find out. I could tell he was not happy, but he was not going to push the issue.

“Now, Trey, did I really know what I was doing when I got with Cn Iush the you? What is that you are making?”

“I wanted a turkey melt and figured you two would like one too.”

“Thanks!” I was finally able to shake off what was happening and enjoyed lunch with them. It was another chance to learn more about the two of them and how they met and all the funny little stories they’d shared over their time together. It was nice, but it was also hard to watch the two of them look at each other with the love they obviously had for each other beaming. I hoped one day we would be the same when talking to others. I felt the day slipping away and knew that I needed to get home soon. When I was done eating, I excused myself, letting them know I needed to be leaving. Jennifer walked me out.

“When will we go out again?”

“Well, Jennifer. I am not sure. What do you have in mind?” I secretly hoped that it was going to be very soon.

“How about Monday? Drinks after work or dinner? And maybe I could come over. I really enjoyed waking up to you this morning.”

“I did too! So, it is set. Monday after work.”

We kissed, and I began the walk back to my place. Today was feeling good and, for a little bit, I was able to let myself go and imagine a life with Jennifer and the whole family. I was starting to see a future that was beautiful--differently beautiful.

Chapter Ten

That night, Jennifer found herself alone in bed. She knew that Trey was upset that things did not go slow with Lexi, but Jennifer found herself unable to fight the pull to her. Jennifer even was starting to entertain the thought that she possibly loved Lexi. She was attracted on so many levels to her. And she was a wonderful lover. Even though it was their first time, Jennifer felt as though Lexi just knew all the right moves to please her. This was something new to her. In the past, even with Trey, there was a trial and error period of both telling the other what they wanted, but with Lexi, it was as though they just knew. Jennifer drifted off to sleep thinking of that and Trey as she knew he just needed time to calm down.

Trey, on the other hand, was in the front room trying to go numb by watching the sports recap. How could she just rush things? Was Lexi even clean? Trey could not understand what his wife saw in Lexi and, for the first time, he found himself jealous of his wife having another lover. He hoped that Lexi would decide this was not for her and move onward. Though, when he saw the two of them together, he knew it wasn’t. He was glad that Jennifer was finally smiling again and coming back to life. Trey waited ‘til he knew Jennifer would be asleep and slipped in bed for the night.

While these two were lost in their own worlds, their daughter, Tracy was in her own room coming to terms of what she was going to do to make her mom not have a girlfriend. She decided she would not play messenger, treat this woman coldly, and not say a word to Lexi if she could keep from it. Tracy could not find a way to make Lexi disappear and figured if she was rude and made it unpleasant, that Lexi would leave.

Chapter Eleven

The next few days were a blur to me. I found every reason to avoid Jennifer as I did not know what to do now. I don’t know why I was. I just did not know how to be around her without giving into my passions for her. My fears of this relationship were coming to light now, and I was no longer sure if this was for me. I wrote out a list of the good and bad of it to help me.

Good:

She seems to really care about me.

Sex is back into my life.

She has a lot in common with me.

I love how she makes me feel.

Bad:

Things could get messy.

She is married.

She has kids.

There are complications.

This did not help until I realized that I wanted her in my life. I think what scared me the most was that I was falling in love with her. With that information, I knew I had to distance myself and get back to work on the clinic. There was no way that this could work. Was there?

With that running through my mind, I entered into the clinic with intent to finally see who all Kelly had brought me to hire on. I knew we needed staff ASAP and hoped she had not gone crazy dreaming of the big picture wish of a dream team. I saw Kelly right away and decided that it was best to just talk to her.

“Kelly. Got a minute?”

“Just the person I wa Ner be"0"nted to see. I always got a minute for you!”

“Thanks. Come to the office then. I want to talk staff.”

“Sure you don’t want to talk about why a certain RN looks so blue ‘cause a certain ED is avoiding her?”

“No. I have to stay on work right now and will take care of that later.”

We had worked hard to find a way in the budget to get what Kelly was wanting in staff. Interviews had gone smoothly and more turned out for them than we expected. Word of the clinic and the reputation of it being a wonderful place to work had spread throughout the community. We may not have been able to offer big packages of benefits and pay like some, but what we did offer seemed larger than that to all of us that worked there.

“Okay, Kelly. Time to tell me who you have decided on. I need to call them in to get going in dividing them up between those that we don’t have to put before the board and the others I need to invite to the board meeting.”

“Yes! This day has finally come! I will email you the names ASAP. Now, on to the other. Why you avoiding Jennifer?”

“You are going to keep pushing ‘til I tell you, huh?”

“Yes. I would not be your best friend if I didn’t.”

I knew that there was no way of dismissing Kelly. She knew me better than anyone and really had my best interests at heart. I just could not get myself right now to open up to everything. I felt as though this had to stay between Jennifer, Trey, and me. Maybe what I needed was to get the two of them off to a dinner and discuss how this would work. I needed them to help make me understand. Yes, that was it.

“Well, Kelly. I was about to ask her out to eat soon, so don’t worry.”

“Great! Then I will send her your way as this gloom is bringing down the whole clinic!”

Before I could stop her, she was out the door and down the hall in search of my starburst beauty. All a sudden, I felt my palms get sweaty as I was not even sure how to react to her in the room with me. The most beautiful creature in the world to me was about to be in my office and I had not even given the common courtesy to stay in touch the last few days after we had sex. I just wanted to crawl under the desk and do all this over the phone where she did not see the fear radiating off me.

“Hey, dapper lady!”

“Hey, yourself!”

“Before you say anything, you know you don’t have to explain to me, right?”

This woman was amazing. She read my mind! I needed to know that I did not need to explain my actions. This was the first time someone did not question me about my actions or have me feeling so horrible for taking time to see what I wanted or needed. Maybe this could work. I had to figure this out and do it quickly!

“Jennifer, thank you for that! I actually was going to catch you later on my own, but you must know Kelly is pushy and always tries to get things done quickly--and her way. I want to know if you could manage dinner, but not for just the two of us.”

“I don’t follow.”

“I want you, Trey, and me to go to dinner and talk about this. I need to know from all parties that this is okay and what the rules are. There must be rules, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t know if Trey will agree to this.”

“I tell ya what, why not Friday night? We meet for dinner at Agave around seven, and if it is both you and Trey, we go as planned. If it is just you, we make a new plan.”

“Sounds great! I look forward to it! And no matter what, I do want some time with just you, please.”

“Yes, that would be nice!”

“Can I kiss you?”

This time, instead of a verbal response, I kissed her. Oh, how I had missed those lips--their softness, their tenderness. These lips that belonged to this amazing woman that I was falling for. She was caught off-guard and, before I knew it, I could feel her melt away, as I was. If only I didn’t have this need for us all to talk, I would take her back to the apartment after work and do all the things running through my head. I craved my starburst beauty. I needed her touch.

“Is that what you were asking for?”

“Mmm, yes.”

“Then I am glad that I could provide it! Now, shoo. I have work to do.”

With that, she was off, and I was looking at my email. I found the employees that Kelly wanted to hire and set out to make appointments for them to come in and fill out paperwork. I hoped then we could give a start date as I did not want to even think about it yet. My mind was still wrapped around that kiss and the need to have more. I knew now that I craved Jennifer and was falling hard for her. Some might even say I was falling in love. I just could not admit that yet. Maybe that would change to the point where I could say, definitely, that I was in love with her. Or maybe Friday would prove to be a bust and nothing would come of this relationship. Only time would tell.

Chapter Twelve

“Trey, please come with me. I have the babysitter all set up. Afterwards, you can go hook up with Jill. I know you hit it off with her. Maybe she can be your girlfriend here.”

“I don’t know, Jen. No one has ever wanted a dinner just the three of us before. I don’t trust her. Please understand. I won’t get in your way of dating her, but I don’t want to be a part of it in any manner. I just don’t want to. I am not comfortable with it.”

“This could be good!” Jennifer was not happy. All these years, Trey had hardly ever said no. She wished he would just give in and come, but she knew if she pushed anymore today, he would not come at all. With that, she went to the front room and helped the kids with homework until the pizza arrived for dinner.

Trey could not believe what was happening. A dinner? Really? What was there to talk about? What rules could there be that Jen could not go ahead and explain to Lexi? This was new to him. And, again, the pit of his stomach sank as he thought that this was going to end up taking Jen away from him if he did not do what she asked. Trey was debating whether he really wanted to keep doing this polyamorous thing. When he was young and they first married, he agreed, thinking it would be good, and he saw how it could benefit him. Now, though, he was didn’t want to compete with anyone else for time with his wife. He did not want to see her in the arms of another. He wanted her happy, but watching someone else making her so--well, that was hard. He was ready to say it all had to stop or he was moving on, but then he thought of the kids.

He had promised himself that he would not leave until the kids were all in college. He entertained the idea of maybe staying it through until then, just not sharing the romance that there once was. Trey’s love was the other block. Trey would give anything to and for Jennifer. He loved her more than life itself. The only thing bigger, though, was the pain he was feeling at the inadequacies of not being able to please her. He wanted someone that would just love him and be with him now that he was older.

Trey went to join the family when the pizza arrived and, at the look of them all laughing and playing together, he knew that this was worth any amount of pain. Jennifer looked up at him and smiled that smile that melted him, and he knew he was not going anywhere for now. He took his place at the table and joined in the fun.

Chapter Thirteen

The big night for the dinner was almost upon me, and I had no clue what I was going to say. How did you approach this? I decided that tonight I would take one of my anxiety pills and at dinner might have a drink or two. I needed to relax for this, but that was hard to do.

I arrived a little before seven. There was no sign of them. At seven, I started to freak, thinking that maybe this was not a good idea and neither would show. I went ahead and went in to get a table, and that is when I saw her inside at a table. I did not see him and, for a moment, hoped that he was not there. This was a good thing. I walked up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Is this seat taken?”

“Yes, but you can sit on this side.”

“So, are we alone? Or does that mean he is here too?”

“He just went to the restroom. I was starting to think you were not going to come.”

“I was outside waiting on you two.”

“Oh, well good thing you came in then!”

“Yes, very good thing.”

“We have not ordered yet, and he is not sure about this, so please have patience. You may not find all the answers that you are looking for.”

“Don’t worry. I have no hidden agenda and will not push anything.”

About then, Trey showed up and took his seat. We ordered our food and made small talk. I learned how they met, and I heard all about the agreement they made before they married that Jennifer would see women and one day find a special lady that would be her own. They also talked a little about the kids. I was not up to sharing much about my life, but hung on every bit about the life of my starburst beauty. When we finished eating, I decided that it was time to talk about why we were all meeting. We all ordered a drink, and I took a deep breath. It was now or never.

“Well, Trey, as you know, Jennifer and I have been seeing each other and have feelings. I am new to a poly lifestyle and still don’t understand it all. I guess the reason I asked for this dinner was to see what you had on your mind of how this will look and what the rules are.”

“Well, I don’t know. We have always lived by a small few when it comes to this. One, we always know when the other is pursuing a relationship. Two, the other person has to be clean of STDs. And, three, neither that person or I can ask the other relationship to go away. This is something that has always been really something that I stayed out of when it came to the other people. It makes it easier that way.”

“So, there are no rules about when dates are--no boundaries that you wish to have?”

“I guess the main thing is to stay out of our relationship and don’t try to break it up. I will do the same with yours.”

“I won’t. In fact, I want you two to have as little stress and discomfort as possible. I d ^>

“Thank you!”

Jennifer just sat there and did not say much. I don’t know if she was even in the conversation with us or not. I was lost, and even though the information should have put me at ease, it didn’t. I felt very uncomfortable and did not know what I was going to do yet. “Should I stay or should I go?” kept running through my mind.

“Jennifer, do you have anything to add?” Trey asked. I guess he felt the same need I did to have her give her thoughts and views.

“No. I just know I want to be with the both of you. Trey, I love you and have a beautiful life with you. Lexi, I think I am falling in love with you and want you to be part of that.”

“Please be patient with me, this is happening so fast and is so new to me. I know I want this. I just don’t know if it is something I can do.”

“Lexi, just don’t hurt her, and be honest. That’s all I ask.” Trey got up, kissed Jennifer, whispered something in her ear, and bid us farewell. I hoped that was a good sign, but it was unclear.

“Well, Lexi. You did something that no one else has ever done. You got Trey’s respect, and that says a lot!”

“What do you mean?”

“He just said in my ear that his fears were fading and that he loved me.”

“And that said I got his respect how?”

“He gave it by showing here, answering your questions, and then parting ways, leaving us to our evening.”

“Wow! Really?”

“Really! Now, what shall we do with the rest of the night? I am yours ‘til the morning, and this is where I want to be--right here with you.”

“Well, I did not plan as I was not sure that we would make it this far. I am still uncertain of what I want, so please be patient with me.”

“I will, sweetie. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you!”

“Want to catch a movie or something now?”

“How about pool? You play?”

“Are you kidding? I love pool!”

“Good, then we will go to the local lesbian club and shoot a few rounds and see from there. I am enjoying getting to know you and find you more interesting than any movie out there.”

“Awe, you are too sweet,” she said with a smile and blush.

When we got to the club, I did not see Kelly’s or Amy’s vehicles and figured it was safe. I did not want the two of them butting in on the date. That was what this was now, right? Of course it was! We went in only to find that Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb were inside.

“Well, look what the cat drug in?” Amy said sarcastically.

“Amy, Jennifer. J c, JWell, loennifer, Amy. Now if you two will excuse us, there is a pool table with our name on it.”

“Nice to meet you!”

“Same here. Sure we cannot interest you into sitting here a bit and shooting the breeze with us?”

“No, Amy. I don’t want to tonight. I am busy being on a date.”

I pulled Jennifer off to the table, leaving the other two with their jaws hanging open. I could tell that Jennifer had no clue on what was happening and that I would have to fill her in once out of earshot. We found a table far from everyone where we could have some privacy. There were really only three tables as the rest was dance floor and bar stool tables.

“We could have stayed. I don’t mind.”

“I don’t want to share you just yet when I don’t have to. Mind?”

She shook her head no and smiled.

“Besides, they would just ask a million questions of you and give me a hard time. They also would be looking for every way possible to embarrass me. Please don’t think that I am ashamed or anything, but I want a clear picture in my head before we hang out with them. I want to be prepared.”

She kissed me and said, “No worries, love.” I pulled back toward her, and she knew it. She called me love. Why? What did this mean? My mind raced, and panic was starting to set in. I decided not to push it. We played a few rounds and danced a couple of dances. It was fun with her, and I found myself really able to let go of everything and enjoy our time.

The car ride home was pleasantly quiet. Her head rested on my shoulder as I drove. I did not want this serenity to leave, as this night I learned I had missed this for too long. I only remembered one other woman I felt this with--my mother. Maybe this woman had special powers over me? I did not care anymore and was glad to just be with her.

“Jennifer, home or my place?” This startled her, as she was starting to fall asleep.

“Yours. It is you that I want to be with tonight.”

I drove us to my place. We did not go into the lovemaking ceremony I had expected and wanted. Instead, we fell asleep in each other’s arms. I was soon rewarded for my disappointment. She woke me up in a gentle kissing massage in the morning. This time, things were gentle and slow. It was a perfect wake-up to the day.

When we were finally ready to begin the day, she took a shower, and I made us breakfast. We sat in the living room and watched the news as we ate. We took turns looking at each other and smiling. I found myself being selfish and not wanting this to end, but I knew she had to get back to the house soon. Her kids--no, her family--needed her, and I was keeping her from them.

She must have heard my thoughts. “Come spend the day with us!”

“And what are you doing?”

“Well, taking the kids to the movies, doing some shopping, and maybe if Trey takes the kids again out, you.”

“Okay, I will. Just let me shower.”

“Deal!”

I ran off after I finished my breakfast and showered. Then we walked over to her house and began the day of play. I actually liked being a part of something and hoped that this did not have to end. I knew, in time, I would love each of them in some way. I also knew that one day, this would feel natural and not so foreign. I just had to hang in there.

Chapter Fourteen

When Trey left the restaurant, he found the local pub and decided to have a few and let out some steam. He kept his cool through the whole dinner, but really he wanted to throw a fit and force Lexi to leave his wife alone. He knew that it would cost him his relationship with Jennifer if he did this, and this is what kept him from saying all that he wished to say. Even above his own feelings, he wanted Jennifer to be happy.

Trey went ahead and texted Jill to join him if she was free. Jill was a cute tech at the local hospital, and he hoped she could at least be a friend with benefits if nothing else. She seemed just as into him as he was her when they first met. And she had a way about making him feel like he was the only person in the room with her, even when there was a crowd all around. Now he just had to wait for a text back or maybe for her to show.

He was not kept long waiting when a text came, saying she would be there soon. All of a sudden, his day was looking up. He would get to enjoy a night with a beautiful lady, even though his heart really wished it was his wife with him and they were out on a date together--not out separately on their own dates. Trey wondered if, one day, he could confront her and tell her to stop. Until then, he would settle on being with others.

Jill came in looking amazing, and Trey quickly waved at her. Trey was so glad that he had not been stood up. They hugged, and Trey got Jill a drink. At first, they just sat there and smiled. Trey was not sure what to say and was so glad when Jill went first.

“Where is Jennifer?”

“She went out tonight with a friend.”

“Aw, so you wanted to go out too?”

“Yes, and I am so glad that you showed. I have something to talk to you about and hope you will listen all the way before saying anything.”

“Sure. You can tell me anything.”

“Jill, we are poly. That means we have multiple partners. It is not just about multiple sex partners, but more than that. And Jen is out on a date with a woman right now.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Well, I was wondering if maybe one day instead of just meeting me here for a drink or two, you would like to go out on a date.”

“Well, what is one to say to that?”

“Say yes, please.”

“We can keep meeting like this and see what happens. This is something different for me--to be the mistress or on-call girlfriend when she i fight="0s not with you. So, I take it no strings attached, and I am able to say no when I have plans and see other people too, right?”

“Well, you won’t be my primary relationship. Definitely not my on-call girlfriend or mistress. You will be my girlfriend if you allow, and yes, the rest stays true unless something changes on your side.”

“Well, we can see how things go.”

“Wonderful. Then it is settled. We can date and see what happens.”

“Yes, we can. So, do I have you all night?”

“If you wish you do, but I do have one question for you. Please don’t hit me or think unkind of me for asking. Can I assume you are clean? If I am to sleep with you, I need to know.”

“And who said you are going to sleep with me?”

“You will, by night’s end. I will make sure of that.”

“Oh, really?”

With that, Trey kissed Jill. He had forgotten what it was like to be the leader, and it felt so good to be chasing again and not the one following someone else’s lead. Trey, with thoughts of leaving one relationship, remembered how having one like this saved the other many times. It made Jennifer chase him. And that was always good.

Chapter Fifteen

For the next several months, I would go over to the Scoops’s house, or Jennifer would come over here. There were some nights that we didn’t, but there were not many like that. I got to really know the kids and found that there was something about being around the whole unit that was filling a yearning of a home inside me. The two youngest always wanted to play games or ask questions. The oldest, though, kept her distance. I assumed it was because she was at that age that she did not want a family different from all the rest that she knew.

Work went smoothly, and the new staff fit in well with th nv>

I should have guessed that this would not have lasted. My parents decided to come make a visit, and though they knew I was a lesbian, they did not know that my new partner was married with kids. I was not sure yet how I was going to introduce them to Jennifer, or even if I wanted to. To me, that was what you did when things were serious and you expected to be together for years. Then again, we were serious, and there had started to be some talk of me moving into the basement when the tenant moved out as they had converted it into a one bedroom, one bath apartment. Part of me really liked this idea, but another part of me was scared out of my mind to do so. I had fears of being so close to the family--of being hurt--and still could not reconcile in my mind if this was the right thing or not.

With my parents coming and these thoughts, I turned to my normal reaction to stress. I turned to avoidance. I did not make any effort to entertain the thought of moving in. I did not push for a date. I did not even tell Jennifer that they were coming down for a few days. And, as if she had always known this about me, she came looking for me and see if I was okay and if we were okay.

“Lexi, what is on your mind? Where are you as of late? Are we okay?”

“Yes, we are okay. I just don’t know if I can move in yet, and my parents are coming to visit.”

It came out before I could even stop myself, as if this woman had special powers over me to make me blurt out my feelings and fears without even having the will to stop it. I had to admit to myself that this was one reason I knew I loved her and yet had a fear of us.

“Oh, baby. I love you, and it will be ok! You don’t have to move today, and I will do whatever you ask in regards to your parents coming. I will follow your lead on this.”

“Thank you, and I love you too!”

We both paused right there. We had said those three little words for the first time to each other. We’d said we thought we loved each other, but this was the first time that we had come out and actually admitted it. This was big. This was huge, and right then I knew I wanted to move and be closer to her.

That night we didn’t go out. We stayed in and were supposed to be watching a movie. Instead, it was as if the admittance of our love for each other ignited a fire that neither of us could control. Our passion flowed through us to the bedroom, and from there we pleased each other until there was no more strength in us. Then I said something that I never thought I would say--especially to someone married.

“Jennifer, marry me!”

“What?”

“Marry me.”

“Ask me again.”

“Marry me, Jennifer. If you will have me as your wife, then say yes.”

“Yes! Lexi, I will marry you!”

After a long kiss, we rolled over laughing. Neither one of us knew what to say to each other. This was new territory for the both of us. She already had a husband, and now I was asking her to take me as her wife. I could not stop smiling.

“I did not expect you to ask me right away again to marry you, I thought you would wait at least a few days, thank you for not waiting.”

“I did not know at the beginning of the day I was going to ask you tonight.”

“Why did you ask?”

“I love you and cannot imagine a day without you in my life. Why did you say yes?”

“The same. I love you and want you to always be with me.”

“You get to tell Trey, and I will tell others only after he knows. Also, please come to dinner one night with my parents, as I want them to know the woman I love. Just don’t expect them to understand any of this.”

“Honey, I live this and don’t understand half of it. I just know I am lucky to have you in my life and lucky to have Trey. You both are what I need and make me ever so happy!”

“So, now what?”

“What do you mean?”

“Ceremony with friends and family, no ceremony, what do you wish?”

“Can we decide later? I am turning into a pumpkin quickly.”

“Yes, love, and thank you!”

“You are more than welcome. Thank you for asking.”

“Yes, Jennifer.”

With that, we drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms. How peaceful and serene it was to be at this point and know that she loved me. I could not have asked for more. And I knew that things were going to be okay—at least until after she went home and I had to deal with my parents alone, but this night I gloated in the knowledge that she said yes and we told each other that we loved each other.

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Chapter Sixteen

Jennifer waited until the kids left with Lexi for the movies and then asked Trey to sit on the porch with her. This was going to be one of those talks that needed to be done outside. She did not know how Trey was going to take the news and hoped that all would turn out well. Even though this was a big thing in her life and something she always wanted, she did not know how he would react to it.

“How are things with you and Jill?”

“They are good. She is fun to go out with, and the talks are stimulating.”

“Good.”

“Now you know that is not why you asked me to sit out here. What is on your mind? You only ever want to talk outside when there is something on your mind that is difficult to say.”

“You know me too well! And yes there is something on my mind, and I don’t know how you are going to react or what you are going to say.”

“Okay, best just say it. And, Jen. Remember I love you!”

“I know you do, and I love you too. Lexi asked me to marry her, and I said yes.”

“She what? You what? What does that mean for us? How can you give vows to two? I always thought that it would just be girlfriends--not someone else as a spouse too. Does that mean she moves in? What does this mean?” Trey was upset and knew this was the only time he could voice his concerns. Jennifer dating others was one thing, but marrying another--that was something he never imagined would happen.

“Well, right now that has not been all worked out. But for us, nothing changes.”

“How can you say that? Everything has been changing with us for months. Jen, I love you, but this is a little much for me. I need time to process what you just told me. I just don’t know.”

“Take all the time you need. It will be okay. You will see.” And just then Jennifer realized that the person she loved and had been with for twenty years may not always be in the picture. She wondered if she had taken it too far for him and if this was going to be the end of a wonderful, beautiful thing they had. She did not want him gone, but she did not want to lose Lexi, either.

“You always say that. This is different, though. Can’t you see that this is different?”

“Yes, I know, but just think--you never have to wonder if I will be dating another. You will know that I will be just with you and her. Between the two of you, I am completely satisfied and my love grows more and more for each of you.”

With that, Trey walked away. He let her know that he would be back and drove off to the gas station. Trey had not smoked in years, but with this news, he felt the craving. He picked up a pack and a lighter and lit up. The intake felt vp alian good, and he found himself relaxing. Trey did not know what to think of the news. He got Jill on the phone and went over her way. Maybe she could help him come to terms with it.

“Jill! Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.”

“You sounded upset. What is going on?”

“Lexi proposed to Jen, and she said yes. I never thought that there would be anyone else exchanging vows with her. I could share to a point but never thought I would share the title of spouse or that someone else would call her wife.”

“Oh, wow! That is some big news. I can see why it upsets you. Trey, you know that I am going to say that she does not deserve you--that she does not even respect you enough to let at least one thing be just yours. Is Lexi moving in now too?”

“I don’t know. I am really torn up and don’t know if I can allow this. I keep thinking I should get out, yet there are the kids to think about.”

“Yes, there is that.”

“I think also I am upset because we never talked about someone else being able to make vows to her. I would have also liked it if Lexi would have come to me first before asking her.”

“And what would you have done?”

“Said no, and that the marriage vows and all that were mine--that she could not claim her as a wife, too. I would have fought for one thing to stay sacred amongst us. I have never told her no to a girlfriend and never would, but a wife? I never asked for that.”

“Aw. Well, if you were my primary, I would respect that.”

“I just don’t know what to do. And thank you. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be with you in a full relationship.”

“Well, if you ever want to find out, let me know. So, are they going to have a ceremony?”

“Jen said all the details were not worked out yet. I just don’t know if I can watch her marry another. It just feels wrong on some level, even though we are poly.”

“Why are you poly, Trey?”

“Well, it was the only way I could get her to say yes to me. She said that she was attracted to women, and since I am not one, then there would be girlfriends.”

“So it really was not a choice and just something you put up with.”

“I could have said no to marriage, but I love her and want her happy.”

“And you? Don’t you deserve to be happy? How is this fair to you? Not respecting your wishes or needs?”

“Jill, can we drop this? I came here to get my mind off that stuff, and you don’t need to be worried by it or drug into it.”

“Yes, we can. And, for the record, I care for you and want you happy.”

The two of them moved on to finding lunch and drowning their thoughts out with a show on the TV. Trey went back home after that. He decided, for now, he would avoid the subject and not {jecmony?deal with it until he was forced to face it.

Chapter Seventeen

My parents were going to be over any minute, and I was getting nervous. Jennifer and I decided we would do the dinner the first night and then go from there. If it was a good time to tell them, then we would. If not, we would wait. It was nerve-racking enough just to introduce them to her. This was the first time in a long time that I had even let them meet anyone that I was dating.

The doorbell rang, scaring me out of my trance. Jennifer was not here yet, and I really did not want to face them alone. When I got to the door and opened it, there was my starburst beauty chatting it up with my parents. She smiled, and I showed them all in. We did our hugs and greetings as normal, helping ease me from the anxiety that I was feeling.

“Jennifer here was just saying we are in for a treat.”

“You are! We are taking you to a little Italian restaurant that we found the other night.”

“Yes, Lexi and I went to this hole in the wall place that was in a strip center and found the best Italian food that I have ever tasted.”

“Sounds wonderful! When do we go? I am starving!” That was my father, always thinking of his stomach.

“We can leave now.”

We took separate cars. This gave us a chance to have some us time as we had not had a chance since we last saw each other to get more than a few stolen seconds. Luckily, the restaurant was a good thirty minutes away, giving us time to catch up and me a chance to relax. Jennifer looked so amazing and beautiful. I had a hard time keeping my eyes on the road.

Her voice was music to my ears. “Lexi, did you hear me? Are you sure you want to tell them now? Would you rather wait ‘til we have some things finalized?”

“Oh. Sorry, love. I was just taking in your b ~iv heave someauty. What do you want?”

“I want to tell the world!”

“I don’t know if I can yet!”

“Why?”

“I want to know for sure that this really is what we both want and that this is going to work out. I also don’t want to say anything at work yet.”

“Are you scared of what people will say?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t be. All that matters is what we think.”

“I just don’t know yet, love.”

“Well, we can talk about it later--after your folks leave. I am yours for the night.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I figured after the dinner you would go home. I am glad you are not, though.”

“Me too! I really enjoyed the last time we were together and hope maybe we could repeat things.”

“We will see. Yes, Lexi.”

Before we knew it, we were at the restaurant. My parents were already there, and I wondered how behaved Bill and Mary Woodsworth would be. Once we were all settled in and had drinks ordered, my mother proved to still be her old self, asking a million questions of Jennifer and not letting up. Finally my father was kind enough to take the heat off her and shift the conversation. And he would choose my favorite topic--the clinic. He always took an interest in my work and wanted to know how things were progressing there. I was the first in our family to have a Master’s Degree, and he boasted to all about my position and about how smart I am. My father always was an ego booster for me.

Right before the food came, Jennifer excused herself, and that left me to the questions of my mother. She was determined to find out all she could, and I was determined to leave some things out. This proved to be difficult.

“Lexi, your father and I have your best interests in mind. I just don’t want you hurt. She is nice, but it seems like you two are not telling me everything.”

“Mother, we are answering your questions. What else do you want to know?”

“What are you not telling me?”

That one question left me wanting to run. There was much I was not saying, like we were engaged, like she had a husband and kids, and finally, that I would be moving in with her soon. How did you tell your mother all this?

“Lexi, are you going to answer me?”

“Well, I don’t know how you are going to react to some things. I just need to make sure before I tell you everything. Can you give me that?”

“Yes, but honey you can tell us anything!”

Oh, how I wished that was true! They just now were talking to me and visiting again since I told them I was a lesbian. I was enjoyn. T" ing having them back in my life and did not want to lose that. I just knew that this would be too much for them right now.

Jennifer returned, saving me from further uncomfortable conversation. I was pleased by this, and we enjoyed the rest of the meal in pleasantries. They told us about how their cruise was and where they were headed after this visit. Since retirement, they traveled nine months out of the year. We soon finished dinner, and they decided to go on to the hotel. Jennifer and I went back to my place and relaxed down to a movie.

“Why are you still so quiet?”

“I am thinking of the questions that my mother was asking and know that over the next few days they are here, she will be asking more and more. I just don’t want to face it yet.”

“Would you like me to stay with you so they don’t ask so much, or I could at least answer and you won’t have to?”

“That would be nice, but I don’t want them knowing everything yet.”

“I know, love. But sooner or later, they are going to know.”

“I know, I know. Just, please, let’s push it off as long as possible.”

“Anything you wish.”

Chapter Eighteen

Jennifer came home to find Trey packing an overnight bag. He did not say a word and barely gave notice that he saw her there. Jennifer did not know what to say or do. She just stood and stared. Finally she found the strength to ask what he was doing because in the past, when he went on overnight stays, he never packed a bag.

“Something I need to know? Are we okay?”

“I just need some time away to think about some things. With the kids going to camp on Sunday, I figured I would use the time to take a trip and do some thinking. I hope you don’t mind me not talking to you first about it, but I figured since you are doing things without talking to me about them, that this would be okay.”

“You are upset still. I am sorry, love, but please don’t let what I have with Lexi ruin what I have with you. It will be good. You will see.”

“Jennifer, you just don’t get it, do you?”

“If you don’t think I do, then please tell me what is going on in your head.”

“Look, I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Nor do I, but I need to know what you are thinking. You are my husband and important to me.”

“Fine. You want to know and are not going to drop it, are you?”

Jennifer shook her head no, feeling fear rush through her as she thought maybe she should not have asked any questions at all. Jennifer stared at the man she had known for twenty-two years. She was lost at trying to figure him out and, for the first time, she did not know if there was a way to talk things out.

“Well, I feel like you don’t respect me. I always thought that even though you would have a girlfriend, I would be your only spouse. I wanted one thing to stay ours alone, and I don’t feel I have that now.”

“I had no idea. Trey, I thought you understood that I wanted not just a husband, but a wife too.”

“No, I didn’t. I understood that I would not be your only lover--that you would have a girlfriend, but not once did I understand that someone else would call you ‘wife.’ Now I don’t know what to think. Every part of me says get out, yet I think of how it would affect the children. I know you don’t know this, but I made myself a promise--a long time ago after we had Tracy--that I would not leave till she and any other kids we might have were off to college. I just don’t know if I can keep it up anymore. It is painful to watch you with her--to see how happy she makes you and to know that I am no longer the one that brings out the glow in you. You had been depressed for so long, and there was nothing that I could do to help you. But you meet her and all a sudden you laugh and smile. You came back to life.”

“Baby, why did you not tell me about how you felt? Why did we not have this talk sooner? I love you, and I never want to lose you.”

“You have a funny way of showing that.”

“Okay?”

“I--my--our--I don’t know what to say. I feel lost right now, and I don’t know where I fit in this marriage anymore. I also don’t know if I want to be poly anymore. That is why I am going. I need to seek what I want and need, so we can come together and know what we are going to be togetherand how.”

“Please, love; just tell me that you will return. Take all the time you need, but please return.”

“All the time I need?”

“Yes.”

“I will be back one day before the kids. I have packed enough clothes for that. I will be at Jill’s until I know what I want or they come home. I love you too. I just need to clear my head.”

“Wait! You are going to her? You did not say you were going to someone else’s for this. Is she who is giving you isf showin these thoughts?”

“She has nothing to do with this. This is about us. She just wants to offer me a sanctuary to go to.” Trey’s anger grew as he defended his girlfriend’s motives, but part of him knew that Jennifer was right. Trey loved Jennifer. A part of him wished she was his and his alone.

Jennifer walked up to Trey, put his arms around her, and slowly started to kiss him on the neck, holding on to him with all she could. He held her back and held back also the tears in his throat. Neither of them knew what the next few days would bring when Trey returned or what their relationship would look like. But for this moment, they both knew that they needed to give in to the other and hold each other. Both of them feared it might be for the last time.

Chapter Nineteen

“Hello?”

“Lexi, can you come over?”

“Jennifer, yes I can. Is everything okay?”

“No. Just come over, and I will explain.”

The phone line went dead. I was not sure what happened or why she was upset. I feared the worst and, as I rushed to get ready to head over, I wondered if I was rushing to the end of our relationship. I slowed down some, but not much. I hated hearing the pain in her voice and did not want it there in any form or fashion. If there was a way that I could make her feel better, I would try to put a smile on her face. I hoped that this would soon pass once I was there. I just hoped that I didn’t have to make her feel better by leaving.

“Jennifer? Where are you?” When I got there, no one was in sight. Trey’s car was gone, and there were no signs of the kids either. The door was partially open, and now I feared the worst. I began my search of the house. Soon I found her lying in bed, crying. I quickly ran to her side to hold her.

“Sweetie, what is wrong? What is going on?”

“He left. He packed a bag and left. I don’t know if he will come back.”

“Okay. What happened? Start from the beginning.”

“Well, we fought, and he said he needed space to y. What hathink through what he wants or needs. He said that he did not sign up for there to be two spouses, but he had to know that I wanted a wife one day. I love you, and I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to lose him either. He went to Jill’s for the week, and I am scared that he won’t return. Promise me that you are here to stay--that you will be good to me and that you, and I can do this. I know you have your doubts too, but I cannot bear losing both of you.”

“Right now, I am not planning on leaving. I know that we can make this work. He just needs time, baby. It will work out. He will return. You will see.”

“Will he? What if he doesn’t?”

“We will face it then. Right now, let’s just get you to a spot where you can get out of bed. Here. Curl up on me and let it out. I am right here, beautiful. I love you!”

“I love you too. Thank you.”

I held her until she cried herself to sleep. Then I slipped out from under her. I decided to help her out by checking on where the kids were and doing some household chores. The dishes were still piled up from the night before, and the house needed a quick tidy and sweep. Once I was done, I plopped down and turned on the TV. I had nowhere to be and did not want her to be alone. It was going to be dinner before I saw my parents again, so for now, I could just relax and be here when she woke.

Jennifer slept for a good three hours, then came stumbling into the living room. She smiled when she saw the house cleaned up. She came and curled up next to me and sighed. I was wondering what was going through her mind, but decided to wait until she spoke.

“Thank you, Lexi. Thank you for everything.”

“Feel better?”

“Yes. The nap helped, and then coming in here and seeing that the cleaning fairy hit made me know I was loved.”

“Yes. Yes you are.”

“I know that he will come back. I’m just scared of what he will say when he does.”

“Then pray that he will find his answers, and the best for all will be kept in mind.”

“Where are my kids?”

“I texted Tracy to find out, and she texted back that they are with the Esformes family at the movies.”

“Oh good. Glad they are out and about.”

“They should be back soon. I ordered pizza for dinner, and it will get here about the same time. Would you like me to stay here with you for a bit? I do need to go get things, though. And I went ahead and invited my parents here for dinner. I just don’t want to leave you alone.”

“Please, stay. And thank you again.”

“I let my parents know about the kids and your husband. They had questions, but I pleaded not now--that tomorrow, when things were better, I would go to lunch with them, and we would talk. That is not a conversation to have in front of the kids.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“Only if you are up to it. You have so much on your plate, and I don’t want you to get overwhelmed.”

“We will see tomorrow then?”

“Yes, Jennifer!”

“Good. Now go get yourself a bag, and I am going to zone out to the TV.”

“Yes, dear.”

We both giggled a little as I left, and it was good to see her feeling better than when I had gotten there. I ran really quick to the house to grab a few items and rushed back. When I got there, my parents and the kids had arrived. Already, John David and Gracie were firing questions left and right to my parents. I giggled inside to the sight, as I hoped my mother now saw how it felt, though I knew she would not see that this was the same thing she does to everyone else. The pizza arrived, and everyone settled into places around the table.

As we passed around plates and slices, we showed off the routine of going around the table and talking about what good happened that day. Each kid spoke of the movie and their favorite scene. Jennifer said that the house cleaning fairy hit. My parents spoke about the museum that they went to that day. Then it became my turn. I had news and had not told a soul yet. Now was my opportunity.

“I am going back to school. I have been accepted into the doctorate program in health administrations at Georgia State University.”

“Oh, sweetie. That is great news.” Jennifer proclaimed while reaching to touch Lexi.

“Oh, Lexi. That is wonderful! I am so proud of you!” Lexi’s mother let out.

“When do you start? Your mother and I can help you with anything you need.”

“Can people your age go back to school?” John David puzzling asked. He looked so confused thinking school was only for kids.

“Yes, John David, you can go to school your whole life.” I laughingly said to him. “And I will start next semester. I am going to take it slow and do a couple courses at a time.”

“Lexi, this is wonderful!” Jennifer just kept saying, amazement took all over her face as she stared at me.

“Thank you all, but please let’s not make this out to be bigger than it is. I still have to look over the curriculum and arrange a schedule of classes and work.”

“Guess it is time to get you that assistant then!” Jennifer proclaimed.

“Guess so!” I said as I realized in my position at work and now with a full home life, that I would need help there to keep things going forward.

“Come on, kids. Help clear the table and put the dishes in the dish washer. Lexi, can you take the trash outside?” Jennifer ordered while she picked up her own dishes.

Everyone set to their appointed tasks. While I was outside, this gave my father a chance to catch me alone. I was dreading this, but he was my best friend, and I knew if I could get him onboard with things, then my mother would follow. We both lit up a smoke and leaned back against the garage.

“Well, Lexi, I have to say, the kids are amazing! Jennifer is really nice, too. I just don’t know about this--what did you call it? Oh, polyamorous. What happens when she is tired of you? She has a home and family. She is set in all she needs. I just don’t want you hurt.”

“Oh, Dad. She is good to me, and it will work out. If it doesn’t, you know me. I am a survivor.”

“I know. So, going back to school? Does this mean I have to call my little girl ‘doctor’ now?”

“No, Dad. I will always be your daughter and just Lexi to you!”

“We better get back in. Your mother will send out the search party.”

We put out our smokes and came in to find that the whole group had retaken places at the table. There were three games and two movies setting on the table. Negotiations were happening to see what was going to happen next. It was quite the sight!

“No! Let’s watch Sponge Bob!”

“John David, it has to be one of these movies.”

“I don’t want to! I don’t want to play a game, and I don’t want to watch those movies!”

“Then would you like to go to bed?”

“No!”

“Well then, you will do what the majority decides! Everyone for a game, raise a hand. That is two. Now everyone for a movie raise a hand. Okay, that says it. Movie wins. Now all those for Smurfs, raise a hand. That means no other vote is needed. Smurfs it is. Now, Tracy, set up the movie while Lexi and I make popcorn and Kool-Aid.”

“Lexi, your father and I are about to leave. We had a long day and, as much fun as this has been, I need some rest.”

“Jennifer, let me walk them out, and then I will come and help you.”

“Okay, dear.”

Hugs were exchanged all around, and I walked my parents out to the car. I was glad when subjects were not pushed anymore and we just exchanged small pleasantries like how much they enjoyed the kids. We nailed down a time to meet for lunch and hugged. They drove off, and I lit up one more smoke.

I stared back at the house and watched everyone inside. I, for the first time, saw and felt my family. It was wonderful to watch the ebb and flow of getting drinks, snacks, and a movie going. The kids knew Trey was visiting a friend for a few days, but not why. Their world did not need to be turned upside-down if it could be kept still. I finished my smoke and wandered back inside. We all snuggled down. Soon the kids were asleep, and we carried all but Tracy to their beds. We then went to Jennifer’s bed and cuddled until we too were taken away by Mrs. Sandwoman.

Chapter Twenty

“Jill, it is not that easy to just leave. We have twenty years. We have kids. I do love her. I cannot just walk away and divorce her. We both agreed to be poly, and I promised her that we would be together. I just don’t know what to do right now. I need time to figure out what I want and how this may look.”

“Trey, I am not saying to leave. I am just saying if you did, you have a place here.”

“I thank you for that, but please. It feels like you are pressing me to leave there and come here.”

“You make it sound like that is a bad thing.”

“No. It isn’t bad. I just need to figure out what I want. And all I am saying is, if I can’t do that here, then I will go to the hotel.”

“You don’t have to do that. Soon I will leave for work, and you will have the house to yourself. I promise, when I come back, I will not hound you or say anything. Can I at least snuggle with you at night and cook dinner for us?”

“Yes, Jill. You can. I just need to figure this out on my own. I may call an old friend of mine that is also poly and see what he says. Thank you for understanding. You are a great girlfriend, even if you have your own motives.”

Jill left to get ready for work, and Trey found himself checking email. He hoped that Jill would let go and give him time to figure things out. He knew that, if he stayed there, it would be just Jill and him, but at the same time, he would lose Jennifer. He did not want that either. He just wanted things to feel different. And if he did not figure out anything, he would at least get a small break.

Jill came rushing through saying she was late, gave him a quick kiss, and was out the door. Trey went looking through his contacts for Charles. He knew Charles would be the one that could help the most. They had been friends for about fifteen years and bounced crazy off each other time to time. Charles’s family was a true triad of relationships. Charles’s wife’s husband was his boyfriend. Trey never understood it, but he was happy they were happy. Charles had moved to Atlanta a year before them. Trey found his number and decided to just invite him over to talk. Luckily, Charles was free and agreed to head over.

“Hey, old friend,” Trey hollered as he opened the door. “Find the place all right?”

“Yes. It was not hard at all. You know, we got to stop only getting together when our lives fall apart and we need someone to talk to.”

“Yeah, yeah. You are the one that did not show up the night we were all going to the sports bar to watch the game. And, besides, I went to your house, but you have not been to mine.”

“Hey now. You only came over ‘cause you needed my mower.”

“Well, get in here. Can I get you soda or beer?”

“Nah. I have my water.”

“This is Jill’s place. She is my girlfriend, and this is where I am escaping to right now to figure things out.”

“This is so not like you. What is going on?”

“Jen has been seeing this Lexi character. Now they say they are engaged. It is so hard to watch them together, and I don’t know if I can do this whole poly thing anymore. I am tired of sharing someone.”

“Yet here you sit, expecting Jennifer to share you with Jill.”

“Not the same thing. If Jen wanted, all she has to do is say the word, and I am hers and hers alone.”

“Yet, you are being shared too.”

“Short answer is yes. Long answer is not if she didn’t want to share me.”

“Besides, what does it matter if she calls her wife or not? Does that change what you are?”

“No. It’s just I wanted to be the only one who was called spouse. I wanted one thing in our relationship to be ours and ours alone.”

“Don’t you have that, though, in being the kids’ father?”

“Yes, but that is not the same. I mean I want something just between Jennifer and myself.”

“Do we really get anything that is just ours? You will still have just your dates, your memories, and your time. Her time with Lexi will be theirs alone. You, old friend, are just jealous. Admit it so you can go on. You don’t like that there are some things that you cannot do and things that she can do for her. Yet, you love her so much that you want her to have everything that will make her happy. You also know that, when there is more love in a family, it grows. Isn’t that what you told me when Liz and Max got together? And see, that turned out to be the best thing for us.”

“Yes, but you are bi and wanted him too. And Lexi is 100% lesbian. Even if she wasn’t, I am in no way whatsoever attracted to her.”

“So, look at what she will bring to the family as a whole--a happy Jennifer, help on household chores--maybe a watcher of the kids when you and Jennifer go out. There could be other things too.”

“I know. I know.”

“Where is she going to live?”

“I don’t know. There has been talk about her renting the basement so Jen does not have to run through the neighborhood. And with Lexi getting more involved, it makes sense.”

“Well, there you go. You get a renter that will be paying her way to have a relationship. You are getting the better end, my friend. Really.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, look at it this way. Lexi will be paying rent, buying food, helping out, anelpdo d the benefit is that she is with Jennifer at times. You, on the other hand, you have Jennifer. You have a family with her. Your finances are together, and you don’t have to pay rent to yourself. You just pay mortgage. Yes, you have some of the same things, but the difference is, you don’t buy your way through the relationship.”

“I don’t get your point, but somehow it makes it feel better. Maybe I just needed to remember what I have is the relationship that is hers and mine alone--to remember to enjoy our time and not worry about losing any of that time. Thanks, friend. You helped me put things back in perspective.”

“That is what I am around for, right? So are you going to make her sweat this week or what?”

“I will call her later and let her know I will be home, but still want to take this week with Jill. Which brings me to the next subject at hand. That woman wants me to leave and be just hers alone.”

“Oh, man. I wish I had your issue. You have one woman wanting you to share her and another wanting you to be exclusive. Man, that must be nice.”

“Oh, hush! How do I get this woman to understand that it doesn’t work that way? I have been trying to, but it is just not working.”

“Well, I would find out if she was bi, get her and Jennifer to fall for each other, and run this Lexi off. Then you could have two wives. They could have the lesbian thing, and all could be happy.”

“Yeah, right. Now, a real idea?”

“Just talk to her and explain that it won’t be changed--that if she cannot share you with your wife--your primary--then she should let this go. You two should move on.”

“I guess before I talk to Jen, I will get with Jill tonight. Then I will know if I am going home right away or if I will spend more time here. It is really nice not being in the midst of kid central right now, though they do leave tomorrow for camp.”

“Well, friend. I need to hit the road. Max is expecting me home soon.”

“Thank you for coming. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime you need me! You do the same for me. Tell Jennifer hello for me. Liz really could use a girl’s day too. And we guys could go off to the bar for some pool.”

“Sounds good. I will get Jennifer to call Liz and get it all set up.”

With that, Charles was off, and Trey found he was able to relax for a bit. He put on a show and began to doze off. He was pleased with the talk and had some new perspectives to look at things. Maybe he could accept this change, and things would move in a positive way.

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Chapter Twenty-One

As I woke, I watched my starburst beauty sleep soundly. It had been a long night. She tossed and turned through it all. I knew that her mind was just riddled with questions that only he could answer. I knew her soul searched for comfort only he could provide. I hoped that today would be better for her and also hoped that maybe he would meet me for coffee, and we could talk.

I slid out and got showered. When I came to the front room, the kids were already up, ready to head out to their big weekend of camping. Katy said she would wake her mother soon and tell her I was out for a breakfast meeting and I would see her at eleven-thirty at the deli to meet my parents. I did not want to tell her what I was up to and hoped that this was not a mistake. Either way, I was off now to do the deed.

“Trey, this is Lexi. I was wondering--would you meet me for coffee, please?”

“Okay. Did Jennifer put you up to this?”

“No. I just felt if we talked, we could go back and help her. She cried almost all day and night at the thought of losing you. I don’t want her to lose you and hope you and I could just talk and see how we could make things better.”

“You do love her, don’t you?”

“Yes, and if that means I need to walk away so she doesn’t lose you, I will. I just know that will hurt her too. We are both grown here, and I think that we could help each other figure this out.”

“Allright. I will meet you.”

I hung up and proceeded to the local coffee shop. I found a parking place and went in to get some tea and a bagel. I also found us a table away from the crowd where we could talk uninterrupted. Trey came in a few moments later and got his coffee. When he got to the table, I felt myself get nervous and wondering if I could talk to him about fixing this predicament that we seemed to be in.

“Did she really cry all day and night?”

“She only did when no one was around but the two of us. She did not want the kids knowing the reality of the situation or that she was upset. I think that Tracy knew, though.”

“She always knows when her mother is upset. You will learn this. Tracy has a strong will that sometimes outdoes her mother’s. There are times when they are together that you forget who is the mother and who is the daughter. And when Jen tries to mother her, discipline her, Tracy pushes back, and things get heated. She wants to be a grown-up so much, but forgets that she has to first be a kid.”

“I have noticed that.”

“That, though, is not why we are here. You know I don’t normally talk to the other person like this. I don’t want to be involved in your relationship, and I don’t want you to be involved in ours.”

“I know, and I thank you. I just feel that my relationship with her is what affected yours; therefore, I feel this need to fix things.”

“You did nothing wrong. This time it was me. I overreacted. I am not completely set on what needs to happen now, but I have a clearer picture. I was going to talk to her today--maybe dinnertime. Would you mind being there though later and the three of us talking together?”

“I can do that. Will you tell me what you have in mind?”

“I want to first lay out when I call her my wife and when you call her yours. Like, I want to say it around my friends and am sure when we are around yours that you want to. Second, I will not be at the ceremony. I would prefer there not even be one, though I know that is not what you want. And there may be some other things--like living arrangements and so forth.”

“Yes, I do see how everything affects the other and you are right. To my friends, I will want to say ‘this is my wife.’ I just don’t want to disrespect you either, though. I also hope the same in return.”

“Of course, the same will be given. I just want to make something clear. I am the primary. We have a history, and when it boils down to it, there will be things that you are not consulted on here. To me, you are not family, and things are not equal. We parent the kids. Not you. We make family decisions. Not you. I hate to seem rude, but I have to have this, and I need her to agree to this and follow through with it.”

“I hope some things I would be consulted on, like if the family were to move or something. But other than that, the kids and other things are none of my concern.”

“Good. I am glad that is clear then.”

“I better go. I need to get some things done before lunch with my parents. That is going to be another tough conversation as they just found out about you and the kids last night.”

“Oh, what fun that sounds!”

“Thanks.”

With that we parted ways, and I made my way to pick up a book on being polyamorous for my parents, knowing that they might never read it. I also decided to get one for myself to study up on how to do this lifestyle that I was now joining. From there, I stopped off to pick up Jennifer’s gift to show our connection. And, finally, I ran by the office to check in on things. I had hardly been in during my parents’ visit and was a little worried about how smooth things were going.

Luckily, I was able to slip in and out without being seen. I made a few changes to the schedule to accommodate some requested time off by different staff members that, for the first time, were getting a vacation. It was pleasant to see things going so well. I signed off some checks from accounting to be sent off and slipped out before Kelly or anyone else could corner me.

The local deli was packed full of people. My stomach found that nervous pit for the second time this day when I saw Jennifer waving meifes clear t over to her. My parents and she had both managed to beat me there, even though I was ten minutes early. I was so nervous about what was being discussed and wondered if things were going to be okay.

“Lexi, darling. Jennifer was just telling us about the clinic.” My mother informed me as I took my place.

“Oh, what exactly about the clinic has she told you?”

“She tells us that you have really grown it and how many staff there is now there. I am so impressed. I had no idea!” Mother said as though she was hearing all this for the first time, I had been telling them both for some time now all about the good at the clinic.

“Mom, I told you that we hired new people.”

“Yes, but you did not tell us how many.” Mother said patronizingly.

“Lexi, I got you a grilled chicken and bacon ranch salad.” Dad informed me. He knew how to make me smile.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Now, you two. Explain this poly thing to us. Your father and I are very concerned.” Mother’s face never had shown this look to me and I knew her confusion ran deep by the concern in her eyes..

“Well, Mom. I got you this book that will answer some things for you, but it’s best we just talk.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Woodsworth, think of it as open love--where there is abundant love. We are not talking about abundant sex--just love and committed relationships.”

“But what happens when you decide that your husband and Lexi are not enough? What then?” Dad let out and I saw for the first time he was concerned too.

“Well, right now, I don’t think I see that happening. But if it does, we will cross that road then.” Jennifer easily answered.

“And, Lexi, will this mean you will have other partners too?” Mother asked.

“I could, but right now I don’t see that being in my future.”

“I just don’t understand. Are you happy, Lexi?” Finally was asked by my mother.

“Yes.” I said firmly.

“Jennifer, will you excuse us just a moment?” My mother asked. I assumed that she was not buying any of this and needed some extra assurance.

“Sure.” She stepped away to refill our drinks.

“Really, Lexi. Are you happy? Is this what you want?” Mother asked again once Jennifer was out of ear shot.

“Yes, Mother. I am! That is why I asked her to marry me!”

“You did what?” My mother cried out.

“Why do I have to repeat myself to everyone?”

“What do you have to repeat, love?” Jennifer asked as she returned to the table.

“That I am marrying you.”

“So you told them!” Jennifer said excitedly.

“Yes, dear. Just before you walked back up.” I informed her.

“Are you having a ceremony? Please say you two are.” Mother said as her whole energy shifted. She always was one who loved a show and party. Better though when the two were together like a wedding ceremony.

“Mary, please. I am sure they have not gotten that far or else she would have told us sooner.” My dad said.

“Mom, just a minute ago you were questioning us about being together, and now you are begging for a ceremony?”

“Well, I am a lady, and a lady can change her mind multiple times a day!” She said while folding her hands across her chest and smiling.

We all laughed at that one.

“Honestly, we have not gotten that far. We are still working it out.” Jennifer informed.

“Please let us know if there is anything we can do. Your father and I can pay for part of it too.” Mother said while staring at my father.

“Thank you, and I guess that means that even if you don’t understand all this, we have your blessing?” I finally asked.

“Only if you are happy, dear.” My father said smilingly.

I was glad things were getting lighter now and that some good was coming out of all this. I liked listening to the ideas that my starburst beauty had and how it pleased my mother that she had someone to do all those feminine things with her. I just was not pleased at the next thing I heard.

“Get with your side of the family, Jennifer, and see if we can pull this thing off in three months. We will stay in town until it is done. I am sure that you will need help.” My mother was informing Jennifer.

“Mother and Jennifer, stop! You two are rushing! We still need to consult with Trey, tell the kids, tell her family, and figure out what we want. I am sorry, but I have to say no date until at least Trey and the kids know.”

“Honey, I figured we could talk it out with Trey tonight as he is coming over to talk.”

“Please, can we just slow down? I also need to plan exactly when I can take off from work.”

We dropped the subject then and went on talking about what my parents would be doing. They still insisted on staying around for a bit. Jennifer said that I could move into the basement as the renter just got out, and we decided that my parents could move into my place. I did let it be known that I was going to sublet it for a bit. A part of me wanted to really hold onto a safety net just in case everything fell apart. We soon parted ways with my parents, and I got some time alone with Jennifer.

“I have something for you.”

“Oh? What is that, my dear?”

“You will have to open this to see.”

Jennifer opened the small box that I handed her, and I just knew she thought it was the ring to go with the questwitighion I had asked her. Instead, though, it was a set of necklaces that matched. She looked at me, confused.

“Do you like them?”

“Yes, they are beautiful. The two ladies interwoven. I don’t understand.”

“Well, you see, I wear a ring already on my wedding finger and assumed that Trey had given you one, too. So I figured a necklace that we both could wear would be the right thing. Then, when we looked at them, we could remember that we are intertwined together with the love we share.”

“Oh, baby. Thank you! Wait! You have a band on your wedding finger? I never realized. Why?”

“Well, guess you will learn sooner rather than later. I am pagan, and I wear this ring in dedication to those that I follow.”

“Oh okay. The polytheist was worried about being polyamorous. Too funny, Lexi!”

“Hey, don’t laugh. I just never thought of it that way. And Jennifer?”

“Yes, Lexi?”

“I love you!”

“I love you too!”

And with that, I realized that she was right. I worried over nothing as I was already sharing my love to multiple deities. A peaceful calmness took me, and I knew that things were going to work out just fine. My starburst beauty and I could make it through anything that life had to give us.

We parted ways, and I took time for myself until it was time to go to the Scoops’s for dinner. I used the time to read up on being polyamorous and found many websites full of do’s and don’ts. The information in the book was fascinating. To think that these types of relationships have existed throughout all of history! Finally, I gave myself time to write up a list of what I wanted and didn’t, another of deal breakers, and a list of reasons why this can work. Time flew by quickly, and I found that it was time to meet them.

I got to the house and decided that it was best I knocked first instead of just walking in. Trey opened the door, and his look told me that things were going okay--not good or bad. This gave me a little relief, but I was still uncertain of what I was walking into.

“Right on time,” he said. “We just finished up the part of the conversation that was just the two of us. Jen is getting dinner on the table.”

“All good?”

“As good as can be expected.”

“I brought over some salad to go with dinner.”

“Thanks. That will go good with it. Jen made some wonderful fish and chips.”

“Sounds wonderful.”

I set the salad down on the table and helped get the plates and silverware set out. Jennifer finished the last of the French fries, and Trey made some tartar sauce. We sat for a bit without saying a word and just ate. I felt each of us was trying to think of what to say and wondering who was to go first. I felt that it was best to let Trey take the lead this time.

“Well, you two have said that you are engaged. Does that mean you want a ceremony?”

“Yes.”

“I will not be at it.”

“I assumed that, honey. I was not going to ask you to.”

“Before we get to setting that out into the works, there are some things that I need to know about first and some things we need clear up about what I want and need before I give my okay.”

“Anything you wish, Trey.”

“Well, Lexi and I talked. Here is what I told her. First, I am the primary relationship. That means I come first in decision making and, at times, there will be decisions that are for the family that do not include Lexi. I want some times that are just us and the kids. Is this something doable?”

“Yes,” I agreed quickly.

“Yes. But, Trey, Lexi will be part of the family now.”

“I am not saying that. I am just saying there are some times that I want just us and the kids.”

“And there will be times that things are like that. What else, Trey?”

“Second thing is there are things that are only up to you and me to decide about, Jennifer--like family finances, kids parenting, and so forth.”

“That goes without saying, love.”

“Last, when we are with my friends, you are my wife. When you are with hers, you are hers. And when we are in joint circles, then the word is not used. Please.”

“That is easy to do, love.”

“Okay. That is my list of things. Lexi, Jennifer says you are moving in this week.”

“Yes. I will be moving into the basement.”

“How are you planning to do sleeping arrangements, Jennifer?”

“I assumed three nights up and three nights down. And change if special things came up.”

“That sounds good,” we both replied in unison.

“Well, you two, I best be off. I am spending this week with Jill and will let you two have a good week while the kids are gone.”

“Wait! Don’t we get to say what we want and don’t?” Jennifer said quickly. Trey sat back down, and we looked puzzled. I was glad because I had some things to talk about too. I had assumed that this would be a chance for all to put things out on the table. Not just Trey.

“Well, first things, we all get checks every year to make sure all are clean. And, along that line, if any of us gets with anyone, we let the others know. Trey, I know you are with Jill and she is clean, but if you stay with her, that means she gets checked too and lets you know any other partners.”

“That is a given.”

“Yes, I always get my test done at my birthday.” I informed.

“Next, chores are a family thing and ways to say you love me. Help me cook, clean, and get the kids to pick up after each other.”

We both nodded. Her list seemed simple enough.

“Finally, don’t expect a date just because I am doing something with the other. I can try but cannot promise equal time with both. There are times that the kids need me and times that one needs me more than the other. Bear this in mind. And there are times I want to be away from everyone. I am putting a hide-a-way in the study that one of you will sleep on when I want a night alone.”

“Sounds doable.”

“Lexi, do you have anything?”

“Yes, but most has been covered. I think my main thing is that the basement is my space, and the kids will not be allowed to just run down at any time. Other than that, I ask that, when we do the ceremony, I be allowed to take Jennifer on a trip for our honeymoon.”

“That is fine.”

We decided that was enough for now and that it was time to part ways, as it was getting late. Trey left, and we decided to relax to a movie. I woke around midnight to find both of us had fallen asleep on the couch. I moved us to the bed and fell back to sleep watching my love--my starburst beauty.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Time had passed, allowing Trey and Jennifer to miss each other’s company. Though it was good to be with their other partners, it was always wonderful to come home to the two of them. Lexi had finished moving into the basement. Her parents furnished and moved into her old place. This allowed her to take time to decide what she was going to do with it. She finally accepted her parents help in things and that they were going to be close by for some time. Lexi had spent the last couple of days running around town with them to give Trey and Jennifer some alone time. She figured if most of the time she gave Jennifer what she wanted, then things would turn out well.

Jennifer was feeling relieved that now both her lovers--her mates--were under the same roof. She was amazed at how well things were going. She hoped that the flow would be the same now that Trey was back. She prayed that things would stay calm between them and that he truly was not going anywhere.

“It is so nice to have you home.”

“It is good to be back. How did things go? She get moved in alright?”

“Things are good, and yes she did.”

“After this question, can we just stay on topics of us?”

“Yes, and was that the question?”

“No. I was just wondering if you set a date yet.”

“No, not yet. We have not had a chance to look at work schedules. Don’t worry. You will be one of the first to know.”

“Thank you. Now, what would you like to do the next couple days?”

“Well, I am not sure, but I know we can think of a few things to do. IT" to”

“I am sure you can.”

“I say first we go to that sushi bar you like and get something to eat.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

I was really enjoying decorating the new place. My folks decided I needed a new look, and I was not going to argue. We sold all I had and they bought me new furniture. It had been a long time since I had anything new, and most things I had were still from the time I was with my last girlfriend. It was a fresh start with a wonderful woman and a chance for me to have a fresh look to go with it. Only Kelly knew at work about us, and I was so thankful to leave it that way. And the only reason she knew is I got her help to pack and move.

As time went by, I realized living with the family was much different than being around and dating. Many days went by where I barely got five minutes alone with Jennifer other than sleep or at work. This started to become frustrating to me, and it took a toll on our relationship.

Even though the routine was getting in place of the whole working together with the adults alternating cooking, the kids doing dishes, and all helping on Saturdays cleaning the main living areas, there was much adaptation for me to get used to. I had come from a family where my siblings were much older, and living alone had definitely made it to where I was not used to sharing time with others. Jennifer could tell that this was getting to me and decided that it was time we talked about the ceremony. She knew that would bring me to a better place and help me see that she wanted me there.

“Lexi, dear, how about we have the ceremony at the park?”

“Whatever you want, dear, is fine with me.”

“Okay. What is going on? You have been so distant and hiding more.”

“Nothing.”

“Lexi, you can talk to me about anything.”

“I know.”

“Do you know that? Because you seem to not want to let me in to know what is going on. How can I help you with things if I don’t know what is going on with you and how?”

“I just don’t like not being able to talk to you without someone coming in.”

And, just like clockwork, Tracy came in asking Jennifer to help her with her room. I became frustrated when Jennifer did not tell Tracy to wait, but instead went with her. She wanted to talk and help me, but she was not hearing me. She only seemed to pay attention to me when things she wanted were not getting met by others. I truly loved Jennifer but did not want to be the fall back person all the time. There were times I wanted to be put before others and for her to tell people to wait until we were done with our conversation. I did not know if that would ever happen, though, and was starting to doubt this working. Jennifer soon returned this time. I guessed she sensed my discomfort when she left.

“Sorry, dear.”

“Hey, you have kids, and who am I to stand in their way to their mother?”

“You are upset.”

“I just need time with you without interruptions. We have so much to plan, and it is feeling like we don’t get to do any of it. I don’t want my mother picking out everything.”

“And she won’t. I tell you what. Why don’t we escape next weekend to a hotel and spend the night there doing nothing but planning. That way we have no one coming in on us.”

“Sounds nice to me, but will it be able to happen? There is so much the kids have going on.”

“I know that this is hard, but you are important to me. Please know this.”

“I do. It is just hard to remember when I feel like second fiddle to everyone.”

“That is just because you don’t see me telling others to back off so I can come be with you. I am just pulled in so many ways.”

“Okay, I will trust you, and the weekend away may just be what I need.”

“I will arrange that we get away on Friday after work and that we don’t have to be back ‘til Sunday. You just get us somewhere to go to.”

“Yes, Jennifer.”

She left the room, and I started looking for a hotel for us to run away to. It felt crazy to have to secure a hotel room just to have some uninterrupted time to get things planned out for a ceremony. I was not ready to run just yet from this because I loved her and what she brought out of me. She was my kryptonite.

Later that evening I went up to dinner with the family. It was nice, but I could not help feel like I was a third wheel or outsider. Jennifer and I were slipping further away from each other. I did not know how to get past this feeling. After dinner, she came downstairs with me.

“It is set. If you have the place, I can get away. Trey is watching the kids for us. Do you know where yet?”

“No, but I will figure that out soon.”

“I am sorry it is so hard, honey. It will get better and ease up. You will see.”

“I am sure it will as I get used to things being like this, but right now, I feel as though things with me only matter at the tail end of your time with everyone else. I knew I would be sharing. I just thought that there would be times that you and I would have time to connect.”

“I am sorry. It is my fault. I will try to do better.”

“You have been saying that Jennifer, and yet I see no changes. Like today, you could have told Tracy to wait and that you would help her soon. You were already doing something.”

“You are right. I should not have just left you in the middle of the conversation.”

“I am not trying to be right or argue with you.”

“And I don’t want to argue with you.”

“I am only trying to express how I feel.”

“I know, and I shonowgn=uld be more respectful of your needs and wants. Everyone needs me, and I don’t know how to juggle that. But this is why we are getting away. This way, you get a weekend of coming first from me. You are important to me, and I don’t want to lose you. I want the ceremony, and I should not put it all off on you or your mother to do.”

“It is not all you. I could be more open to you and tell you that I need some time. Or I could voice up and tell people to wait.”

“Please, can we put this behind us?”

“Yes, Jennifer. That would be nice. I just hope that this feeling of loneliness can pass and that connection we have can come back.”

We decided not to go back up and see if we could find the hotel to stay at. We also started looking at venues for the ceremony. There was so much to do, and it was getting closer and closer. We had just eight more weeks to the date we had set, and there was still so much to do.

“Lexi, thank you.”

“For what?”

“Putting up with me and still going through with this. I love you so much! I am excited about this weekend and about our ceremony.”

“Me too! I also have a surprise. I have arranged for us to fly down to Florida and take a cruise for our honeymoon. I was going to wait and surprise you, but I need to know some things from you. Like, I need your information for the cruise line. I need to know what kind of excursion that you would like to take, and last, I need to know that this is something you would like to do with me. It is a weeklong trip, and Trey knows all about it. He agreed to take care of the kids then.”

“Oh yes, Lexi. I do like that! Thank you, love. Thank you!”

“My pleasure. I want to be good to you and for you. I want to make you smile and give you what you want.”

“You are, and you do.”

“I just ask the same, and right now, I feel that I don’t get that. I feel that things that matter to me when I want my partner with me don’t matter. That only what you want is what matters. That the only sacrifices that are to be made are mine alone to make. No one else has to do anything different or change. It is making me rethink this whole thing.”

“What are you saying?”

“I am saying do things sometimes with me even if it is not top on your list or means someone else does not get what they want.”

“It is not always that easy.”

“Why not?”

“Because they are kids. Because he is used to having me when wants. Because I do make sacrifices. You just don’t see them.”

“What have you given up? What do you do that is solely for the purpose that I want you with me? When did you last tell someone no so you could be with me?”

“Tonight. Trey wanted me with him, and I said no--that I needed to be with you. I don’t see why we are even discussing this.”

“Why? Be0">k thicause it makes you uncomfortable? Because it is not what you want? What about what I want, Jennifer?”

“I want to give you what you want and be good to you. Lexi, this is difficult for the both of us. Help me be what you need.”

“Just as you complain he does not hear you and is not there for you emotionally, you do the same towards me. I just need you to hear me and carve some space out for me.”

“I will try. Please, now, can we drop it and try to enjoy the rest of the evening?”

“Okay, and I will try to voice what I need.”

“Please. That will make it better.”

We moved on to finding something on TV to zone out to and just be with each other. I was glad to have gotten all that out and hoped that she had heard me. Only time would tell. This poly thing was getting harder and harder for me, and I knew that there would be times I did not have my partner beside me when I wanted and would not get what I needed at the expense of another. I just never imagined it would feel like this. I didn’t want the feeling that I was a part-time, when convenient, wife—not when we hadn’t even made vows yet. I hoped with time that would change. I hoped that this was just a growing pain as we became us.

Chapter Twenty-Four

As Jennifer sat snuggled up to Lexi, she thought of all that had just been said. She thought of how she could not imagine life without her. She wondered if she was losing the best person that ever came into her life. Jennifer promised herself that moment that she would hear Lexi and be better to her. She knew that, in many aspects, she had been selfish and started to wonder if Trey felt the same. What if it was her that made everything so difficult and not the others?

That night they fell asleep barely touching. Jennifer hoped that morning brought a better day. As they slept, their bodies did what they had not done yet and that was bringing them back together. They curled up to one another in their sleep.

Jennifer was first to wake, and she snuck out to go start coffee and the kettle. She h0">k sloped that Lexi would continue to sleep so she could do something nice and bring it to her in bed. She realized that she had not done any of the little things that showed she cared in some time.

While she was getting things done, Trey came into the kitchen. They hugged good morning, and Jennifer was glad to be around someone that did not seem to be upset with her. At least, she hoped he wasn’t.

“How was your night? Did you sleep well?”

“Yes I did, and you, Jen? Did you sleep well?”

“Once I got to sleep, yes. Now, I will catch up to you in a few. I want to surprise Lexi with tea in bed. Soon she will be waking, and I will not get the chance.”

“Okay. See you soon after?”

“Yes, Trey.”

With cup in hand, Jennifer went to cater to Lexi and tried to show her that she did think of her needs and wants. But when Jennifer got downstairs, she found Lexi already awake and on the phone. Lexi hurried past her and ran out the door without saying a word. She just had to go.

Jennifer stared, confused. She went upstairs and found her phone. When she tried Lexi’s number, it went to voice mail. Jennifer was getting worried, but figured soon she would be at the office and would find out what was going on.

Jennifer and Trey got the kids out the door to school and had a moment to themselves--to connect a moment. It was nice until Jennifer decided to see if Trey was feeling the same as Lexi. She just had to know if all were feeling the same, and if she needed to change something about herself.

“Trey, honey. Do you feel like I am disconnected from you and not meeting your needs?”

“Sometimes I do, but then I remember there is so much going on, and as long as you are meeting all the kids’ needs, I don’t mind taking back burner. Besides, it never lasts long.”

“What do you do if it does take a while?”

“I pin you down on a date.”

“Oh, really? And just how do you pin me down?”

“Oh, so many different ways. I make you sit and listen to me, I take you to the bedroom, or I step away ‘til you beg me to come close.”

“So smart you are, love.”

“It has worked now for twenty years. Why did you ask?”

“Oh, it’s just that Lexi was feeling that way, and I was wondering if I was doing the same to you--if I had been neglecting everyone so my needs are met.”

“She is still getting used to being part of the whole family. It will change in time. There are always periods of ebb and flow. Don’t worry, love. She has actually amazed me that she has lasted this long.”

“Really?”

“Really! I figured by now she would be running and deciding that poly was not for her. Does she really make you happy? I mean, do you love her?”

“Yes she does, and yes I do.”

“Then I will be at the ceremony. Just work it to where it is asked who shares this woman and not who gives her away.”

“Oh, love! Thank you! Thank you! This means so much to me. Can I get it to where some of the vow time is where the three of us do them?”

“Don’t push it, Jennifer.”

“Okay.”

The two of them realized they needed to get on the road. Jennifer was thrilled at Trey being a part of things. She could not wait to tell Lexi, but at the same time she was not sure if she was going to see her at the clinic or what was going on. She tried two more times on the way to work to call her--with no luck.

When Jennifer got to the clinic, she saw why the rush. The clinic had been vandalized. Haters of the GLBT community had broken in, breaking everything they could or stealing the things they figured could be sold. There were sprayed hate words everywhere on the inside and out.

The police were collecting evidence from everywhere. Jennifer looked for the staff and other workers. Finally, she found an officer that knew where everyone was and directed her to the coffee shop around the corner. Jennifer ran over there as fast as she could, as she still had not seen Lexi.

When she got there, Kelly pointed to the back. Jennifer walked up to where Lexi was and waited until she was noticed. Lexi fell into Jennifer’s arms and cried. Jennifer held her, not knowing what to say or do.

“Did you see? Did you see what they did?”

“Yes, honey, and I am here. You should have called me.”

“I have been busy taking the police through the clinic. Everything is broken or gone. They are making their report, and the insurance agent is on his way over to make the claim and take pictures. I just don’t know what to do. We cannot afford to be down for any length of time.”

“Oh, baby. I am sure something can be figured out.”

The police came and pulled Lexi away again. They showed her a letter that made her chin tightened and face turn beat red. Lexi looked as though she could go for blood. Jennifer wondered if the perpetrators that did this actually had left something. Lexi thanked the officers.

“Staff, everyone. Please, I need your attention. I need everyone to come and sit down. As you can see, one person has not shown today.” Everyone looked around and saw that it was true. One of the new clerks was not there. “She had just been given keys last week. Well, this letter states how she and members of the local anti-gay activist group were responsible for this. Police are headed to try and arrest her, but they don’t know if they will be able to. Come to find out, Jennette had missed work last week and not been to the address she gave us for some time. Either she is in some kind of cult, or she used it just to get in here. We will need everyone’s help to clean up the mess. We will build back. And please know that all keys will be changing and, for some time, only management will have them. That means Kelly, Janice, Betty, and I will be the only ones with keys. The four of us will decide who will be the lead clerk and nurse. Those two will have keys too. We have ltoold go forots to do, and none of it can be done today. Go home, take a day to yourselves and come tomorrow in old clothes ready to clean, paint, and do whatever it takes to get us back up and running.”

With that, the staff started leaving. Kelly stayed with Lexi. They were off talking by themselves. Jennifer could not hear and did not know if she should stay. She decided that if there was ever a time that Lexi needed her, this was it.

Chapter Twenty-Five

I did not know what to think. The clinic that I had worked so hard with the others to build was in ruin. It was feeling surreal. I kept hoping that this was dream, from which I was going to wake up at any moment.

I had to wait on the police and the insurance agent to finish their investigations. I had dismissed the staff and talked with Kelly, and then I noticed the starburst beauty there waiting on me. I made my way to her past Kelly and fell into her arms. I cried for a good time before I pulled back. It felt so good to have her there.

“Thank you for staying with me.”

“There’s nowhere else I wish to be than here with you.”

“I don’t know what to do. Everything is happening so fast, and I am lost. I don’t know even if we get cleaned and rebuilt if we will survive this.”

“Honey, we will take this one step at a time.”

“Promise. I know our ceremony is not that far away, but promise me, that we will not cancel it or our trip.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I need something good to look forward to, and that is the best thing I can think of right now.”

“Then don’t worry, I will take care of the details with your mother, and you take care of here.”

“Thank you!”

“I love you, Lexi, and I will do whatever you need me to do.”

“I love you too, and you are the best for me.”

“Together we are better!”

I kissed Jennifer goodbye and rejoined Kelly. We went to meet the insurance adjuster. We led him around the site, and he took pictures. I ignored snide comments as he was apparently not a supporter of the community that we serve. I hoped that this would not deter him from the decision making on our claim.

When he was done, we were able to start the cleanup. Right now our only concern was to close up the clinic to protect it from any more damage. Kelly and I boarded up all the doors and windows that were broken. Then we worked on the front door, locking it up so that no one could get in. In the morning, with a full team, we could unlock it and start the real clean up.

“Lexi, come get a drink wittoold protech me. It has been a long day,” Kelly said when we were finished.

“Only if you are buying, as I still have a ceremony to pay part of and a trip to take.”

“Of course I will buy. You and I both need it.”

“True it does have a pull to it.”

We headed over to our local bar and waited for our drinks. While we waited, we started a game plan for the week. Kelly knew where we could get the equipment, as she was the one who first ordered it. I, on the other hand, decided to work on getting the crew started with cleaning and painting. The only thing we still did not know was what the insurance was going to pay for.

“Lexi, even if they pay for everything and the payroll, we are not going to have the normal income that we are used to.”

“The adjuster said we would get that too.”

“I just don’t trust him to come through with everything that he promised.”

“So what are you saying?”

“We need to have a fundraiser.”

“Yes, but how are we to get one together?”

About that time, a couple drinks showed up with word that it was on the house from the owner. Lee and his partner John were old friends, and I imagined by now they had heard about the clinic. We sent our heartfelt thanks to them, and Kelly asked if they could join us. I just could not imagine what she had up her sleeve.

“Lee, John, I have a question for you two.”

“Yes, Kelly. Anything for you two!”

“Could we have a fundraiser here? And can we have you pull some of those strings with the Kings and Queens to put on a show?”

“Of course you can. We will set it up, and it is no trouble! Say this Saturday?”

“Sounds great!”

The boys were off, and I sat in amazement to what had just happened. I did not have it in me to think that quickly. Here Kelly had the bar doing a fundraiser for us in less than five minutes. We were so blessed to have friends all over, and I was so glad she had thought of them to do this for the clinic.

Afterwards I headed home a very exhausted person who just wanted to die in bed. Jennifer came down to spend the night with me and make sure I was okay. It felt good to have the safety of her to fall into. I told her of the fundraiser and of the plans to rebuild. For the first time in a while, I felt like I came first to her and that she was fully there with me. It was perfect. Mrs. Sandwoman came and took us away, and I hoped she was not quick to let go of her grips come morning.

Chapter Twenty-Six

“Trey, I was wondering if you could take a few days off from work,” Jennifer said to her husband one morning at breakfast.

“One or two maybe. Why?”

“We could use your help as all the electrtoold" heionics need to be put in place again. The girls worked hard to get everything cleaned and painted. The desks came in yesterday, and now we need the computers and TVs installed. Could you please come and help with this?”

“Yes, dear. That should just be a day’s worth of time. What else do you want with the rest?”

“I was hoping that maybe after that you would help with also getting the bar ready for the fundraiser. Not everyone can be there as they are working on the clinic.”

“I will see.”

“Thank you!”

Jennifer and Trey finished their conversation about other things like the kids and then went about the rest of the morning routine. Jennifer was not going to be at the clinic to help at all with the cleanup as she had agreed to go with Lexi’s mother to look at the venues for the ceremony and decorations. Jennifer wished that Mary Woodsworth would let her hire someone to do all the planning, but Mary insisted that this was what made it personal.

Luckily, the date they had decided on was available with the local Unitarian minister. She was more than thrilled to oblige and accepted that this was a poly family and that not all the vows would be traditional. They had also decided that it would be outdoors, and that meant there were very few places to look at. Jennifer just hoped one of them would allow them to have it there and also be able to accommodate everything that was needed. The church was going to host the reception, so it also needed to be close to that location.

Mrs. Woodsworth showed right at nine to pick up Jennifer and start the rounds of parks and outdoor venues. She had mapped out the locations and made a route that was from closest to the church out. Jennifer was impressed but also hoped that she would not be forced into a location just because Mrs. Woodsworth liked it. Her thoughts were interrupted midway by Mrs. Woodsworth, who proved to have more on her mind than the locations they were headed to.

“Jennifer, how is Lexi holding up?”

“She is doing better each day the clinic comes back together like a clinic.”

“But is she okay?”

“I do believe so. She doesn’t really talk about how she is feeling.”

“She never did. Please let us know if we can do anything. We can even make a donation.”

“Well, I don’t know if she will accept the donation, but you could make it at the fundraiser event.”

“Good idea. Now, let’s see. Here is the first park.”

They did not have to pull up to see that it was amazing. It had a gazebo and beautiful old trees. Jennifer fell in love with it right there and could picture the whole ceremony. They located the person in charge of booking it and were amazed to find out it was still free. Then they set off to find someone to decorate it and furnish chairs.

The day was turning out to be pleasant in spite of Jennifer’s fears of being with this woman and wondering if she was going to push her will on her as she had witnessed her do with Lexi. She instead made sure that everything was how Jennifer and Lexi wanted and only pushednd eigh when it came to what she wore.

Jennifer found the perfect sundress to wear. She was not one for the full wedding dress and felt simple was best. She found a hat that a veil could be added to and shoes to match. She was getting excited about the ceremony and could not wait to show off her new look.

When the ladies were done shopping and talking to everyone, Mrs. Woodsworth dropped Jennifer off at the bar where the fundraiser was getting set up. Jennifer agreed to pick up the packages later that night when she was passing on the way home. She then set off to find Trey inside and help.

The bar was starting to look completely different. There were posters about the clinic everywhere, and decorations were laid in every free space to go up. Trey was over at the main stage, helping get the backdrop decked out in medical attire. The team had managed to get large stethoscopes, Band-Aids, and other objects found in the exam rooms made out of papier-mâché. The clinic had one of the old exam tables that had been broken delivered over to set on the stage. Even though the drawers were missing and the bed did not sit forward anymore, it still looked nice up on the stage. When Trey saw Jennifer, he came down off the ladder to join her.

“What do you think? Is this what you all had in mind?”

“It looks great! I am sure the clinic staff will love it! Thank you, honey! How was the computer set-up?”

“It went good. All rooms are up and going. I also got the tablets on the network too. The girls were so happy. I was actually jealous of them. I wish I had those kinds of computers at my office.”

“Maybe one day you will! Those were the replacements from Dell from the insurance money. And, since they did not make the same models any more, they sent the clinic the best ones for the amount the insurance would pay.”

“Wow!”

“How was the spirit of everyone there?”

“Lexi was stressed and working in her office. The rest of them seemed to be doing well. They were working outside, painting.”

“I better head over there, but first take a break from here and run me home?”

“That would be nice.”

The two of them went off to spend a little time together before life pulled them apart again. Jennifer was set to make sure that each partner had at least thirty minutes of her time in each day to prevent them from feeling neglected. She did not want anyone feeling like their needs were not being met again and just knew that she could pull this off.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

The staff and I headed over to the bar to get ready to open the doors to the guests. I had not seen Jennifnd ei1>

I had to talk to the staff and looked around to see most everyone had made it to the bar. We were going to be the waiters of the night. Just as I walked up on stage to get everyone’s attention, explain a few things, and thank them, I saw my starburst beauty and Trey, a newfound hero of mine, walking in. My family right there--minus the kids--and I knew that things would be just right from that point on.

“Attention, everyone! Please come in and sit for a few. I see almost everyone is here, and the others will come in soon. First, before we get into the activities of the night, I want to thank you! This is the best staff of family that there could ever be! You guys are amazing. You worked hard and deserve a lot more than I could ever give, but even so, I did manage to get each of you a small gift card from Kelly, Betty, Janice, and myself. We could not do much, but please know that we are thankful and would have done more if could. Now for tonight, I am going to turn it over to Lee, who will discuss how we are going to actually do this.”

“Thank you, Lexi! And welcome to Rainbow Spirits! We are glad you are all here and that we could do this for you! You are important to this community, and many of us would not get health needs met if it were not for you! Now, you must know that waiting on customers at a bar is not that different than being at the clinic. You listen to what they want and bring it to them. The difference is that you collect money right then. I will tell you how much, and you bring cash or credit card to me. No tabs tonight. If people have a problem with that, let them know they can talk to me about it. Now, there are tip jars on the table. All tips, half the funds from drinks bought, and sales of the raffle tickets go to helping the clinic out. I expect this to be a full night of fun and also for each of you to have a good time! Our performers are ready, and even one of your very own will be shaking their thing on the stage. And don’t hesitate to ask any questions!”

The staff all cheered and finished getting their tux tops and bowties on. Lee went to make sure the drag Queens and Kings of the night were ready to go. I was the MC of the night and was busy looking over my lines. Jennifer caught me off-guard when she walked up to me in all her beauty. She was the one that was singing and, trust me, she did not look to be going drag at all. She wore an elegant dress that brought out her beauty. I melted.

“Look at you! My starburst beauty is going to be a star on the stage tonight! I see you are also closing us out.”

“Yes, and I am so nervous.”

“Don’t be. I know that you will do fine!”

“You ready, Mrs. MC?”

“No, not at all. I have never done this before, and I don’t know how I let Kelly talk me into it.”

“I am sure you will do wonderfully.”

We finished up the set-up, and then it was time for the doors to open. I began to feel the nerves in my stomach tighten. I was nervous to perform, but I was more worried that this night would not make that much money for us. Even with the stellar lineup of performers, I did not know just how many would come out.

To my surprise, as soon as the doors opened, the place seemed to fill and overflow. I had an hour before we started the show and had a chance to mingle and see just who all was in our crowd that I could pick on while I was up on the stage. We had a needle also set up to show donations, and the idea was, when we met our goal, the balloon on the end would burst.

In the very beginning, the silent auction tables were automatically being bid on and the raffle tickets bought up. It was looking better than we had expected. I really hoped that the flow continued upward. We already needed a big fundraiser and now more so than ever. There were supplies that insurance was not replacing, a program to get patients their medications and dental work needing funding, and now had new staff to cover.

“Lexi! Lexi! Look at this! Look what we have pulled off! Isn’t it wonderful to see everyone here?”

“Yes, Kelly, but it is nowhere near over yet!”

“I know it isn’t, yet already I just know that this is what we needed, and we will be alright!”

“Yeah, we will!”

About that time, Lee motioned to me that it was time to start the show. All of a sudden, my nerves bubbled up in my throat. I was so glad that I had made cards to look at as I could not remember a word of what I was to say. I took a deep breath and walked up to the stage, cards in hand, and the latest count of donations was handed to me.

“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first ever Rainbow Spirit’s fundraiser for the Lambda Health Center. We are glad you are all here! We have quite the show for you tonight! Thank you to Lee and John for pulling this together and allowing us to use their place on such short notice. Already you have opened up your wallets and donated eight hundred dollars. We still need more to make that needle burst the balloon. With everyone pitching in and bidding or buying raffle tickets and drinks, I know that we will reach our goal. Now, though, the most beautiful Moranda will be gracing us with her presence and entertaining us. Please put your hands together, and welcome Moranda!”

I was never so glad to be off the stage. And I still had to go up there six more times through the night. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, and the staff was busy trying to keep up with all the drinks. Even their partners were helping by being extra hands waiting on the crowed that was bigger than any of us had imagined. In no time, we were half way to our mark, and I was starting to relax.

I would introduce, step out and have a cigarette and come back to watch a few minutes of the show. Occasionally, I would interrupt when we hit certain milestones in the goal, but other than that, I did not have to do too much. And, each time, I relaxed a little more and was starting to see the end of the night, which helped more than anything.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it has come time for our last performer of the night. Before we get there, Lee, will you do the honors and show us if we have busted that balloon yet?”

Lee pushed the needle, and BOOM! The balloon exploded! I have never been so happy to see a balloon bust. Lee brought me the count and also whispered in my ear that the raffle needed to happen and the silent auction needed to come to a close. I had completely forgotten to do that before the last performer. Thank goodness Lee kept me in line through it all.

“Wow! You people are amazing. During this next song, we will give you one last chance to bid on the silent auction or get raffle tickets! So hurry because when our own RN Jennifer is done singing this next song, we will be drawing the raffle and collecting the silent auction bid sheets. Now, please help me welcome Jennifer Scoops to the stage!”

When Jennifer stepped on the stage, my eyes were not able to move off her. I did not even care to step out for a smoke. Her voice was music to my ears, and I was amazed at the beauty of her all around. I was in my own kind of heaven.

When the night was over, we had raised more than I ever could have imagined. We set out for just twenty-five thousand, and what we raised was just under seventy-five thousand--more than I had ever thought was possible. Lee agreed to hold onto the cash until the morning when I could get it and drop it off at the bank.

Jennifer chose to ride with me back home, and I was so thankful to have the company. This was not her night to come down with me, but she surprised me and did. I quickly found comfort in the relaxation of her arms, and Mrs. Sandwoman took us quickly to the depths of sleep.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

“You will be next to me in the ceremony, and that is it! Tracy, this is for me--not you and your needs. I give you more than I can at times, but this time, I ask that you sacrifice time to do something for me. You are not going to your friends’, and you are not going to be allowed out of it, and that is final!”

“But, Mom. I don’t agree with it! I don’t agree with what you are doing to Dad! This is wrong!”

“Who says?”

“Everyone! There is a reason why people don’t have houses like ours. It is wrong!”

“That, Tracy, is an idea that is set by people that are scared to be different and spread love.”

“Mom, it is just not right, and I don’t see why I have to go!”

“Because your mother and I said you do! I am going and participating. You will too!” Suddenly Trey walked in from the back room and joined the conversation.

“But, Dad!”

“No buts.”

“This is just not right what she is doing to you! This is just not right how she has this other lady living here with the authority to be a mother figure to us.”

“Lexi has not once tried to act like a mother, and besides, there are things that you don’t know about, and this is not up to discussion. We don’t care if you are okay with it or not. This isn yashow something your mother and I have agreed to--that Lexi is now part of this family!”

Tracy had never seen her dad protect the women in her mother’s life. She just could not understand and wished her life was like everyone else’s. She just felt that if she could control her mother that everything would be better. She knew she was young, but surely she knew better how to do things, didn’t she? Tracy stormed off to her room and left Trey and Jennifer just shaking their heads to her attitude. It was starting to become worse and worse.

“Trey, we have to tell her that you have Jill.”

“No, not yet. In my own time, I will. I promise. You know that I don’t like telling the kids about my affairs. I am not like you and showing affection in front of whoever is around.”

“I am not saying tell all the kids. I just think it is time you told Tracy. Her attitude is getting worse, and I don’t know if I can bite my tongue much more.”

“What do you want me to do? Force her to be nicer?”

“No. Just take her to dinner and let her know about your side of the street.”

“Okay, I will. Tonight.”

Trey went on to work. Jennifer hoped that would help ease things, but somehow she knew that Tracy would not be that easy to change in her ways. She was so like Jennifer when she was young, and part of that scared Jennifer.

Kelly and Amy were coming over that day to go with the two of them to look at things for the ceremony. Jennifer was happy to get to spend time getting to know Lexi’s friends. Too many times they were doing things with the people Jennifer and Trey knew. Lexi just expanded her circle and went with the flow. Kelly was going to be Lexi’s Best Woman, and the two of them had not had a chance to talk about the ceremony.

When Kelly and Amy arrived, the four of them took off to the mall. Jennifer was going to help Amy find something to wear, and the other two were off to get fitted for the tuxedos. The mall was packed, and the four agreed to meet back up at lunchtime. Jennifer and Amy watched Lexi and Kelly take off like two butches on a mission.

“Amy, I am so glad we are going to get this time together!”

“Me too. Now I can have that sister talk with you.”

“Oh? Let me guess. Don’t hurt Lexi, or you will hurt me? Is that the talk?”

“Oh, you are a smart one. And, yes. That was going to be the talk. Can we just say we had it? I would rather be shopping and getting new things! You?”

“That sounds like fun! What are we looking for? I know a dress for you, but what else?”

“Oh, sweetie! When I get a new dress, I get shoes, makeup, purse to match, and jewelry. So we find the dress first and maybe one for you too for the cruise?”

“Sounds like a plan to me!”

Amy and Jennifer had fun trying on dresses and looking until they had three each that they were happy with. Then it was off to find shoes. Amy insisted that each outfit had to have its own phavfer had fuair of shoes, but Jennifer found one pair to take with her that would go with anything. Jennifer just wanted to make sure that she had room in her luggage for everything that she needed with her as souvenirs.

“Explain this poly thing to me. How does it work?”

“Well, it is about love spreading out to multiple people and not what most think--about sex.”

“But you do get more than if you just had one partner, right?” Amy asked, giggling.

“Sometimes yes. Sometimes you don’t. There are times I am not in the mood with either one of them and other times I want just one of them over the other, and then there are times I want both at some point in a week, but I imagine that I don’t get any more than anyone else. I just get it from two different people.”

“Well, I don’t know how you all do it, but as long as Lexi is not hurt and happy with you, then I support it. Lexi is family to Kelly and me. Just don’t expect me to ever want to try it. There is only one for me, and that is my Kelly!”

“I don’t think that it is for everyone.”

“Good!”

“We better get over to the food court. I am sure those two are up to no good and waiting on us.”

They met their partners and grabbed a bite to eat. Lunch went quickly, and Kelly put the hand down on any more spending, though Amy argued that she still needed the perfect purses to go with the outfits. Kelly did not let up, and Lexi jumped on the bandwagon, agreeing that enough had been spent.

The four of them left the mall and went their separate ways, couple by couple. Jennifer and Lexi were headed to meet the minister with Trey and get the ceremony lined out. Jennifer hoped that Trey had not backed down on going, as he just wanted one simple thing in the ceremony. The minister was who pushed that it be all three of them.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

As we pulled up to the church, a part of me remembered the days that I used to love to go to church. Now I went to rituals with the local pagan havfeT" heiggroup and wondered if the minister was really okay with the ceremony being multi-faith driven. I had certain things that I wanted in it and I also wanted to make sure that it did not offend anyone that attended.

“You ready for this?”

“Yes. Are you, Jennifer?”

“Yes. I was just wondering if we beat Trey or not.”

“We will soon know.”

“Tell me again.”

“I love you, my star-burst beauty. I love you, my amazing lover. I love you, my intelligent RN. I love you more today than yesterday and more tomorrow than today.”

“Oh, thank you, you big romantic sap!”

“Anytime, and baby? We can do this!”

“Yes, Lexi. We can do this together!”

We made our way inside. It was a beautiful church with the stained glass and atrium in the front. The church was welcoming in its way as we walked through it to the offices. Trey was not there yet, and Jennifer looked worried.

“He will show!”

“How do you know?”

“Because he loves you and wants you happy. And this is just one thing that makes you happy, even if he is uncomfortable.”

With that she relaxed as we waited for the minister to finish a phone call. Maxine Fuller had been a minister with the Unitarian Universalist for over twenty years and was one of the most open, accepting women that I knew. I had seen her speak a few times and even fewer times witnessed her perform commitment ceremonies for other gays and lesbians in the community. She believed that love came in all shapes and manners and could not be condensed to one person’s perspective, even if it was the majority’s view.

“Ladies, so glad you are here. Please come in.”

“Trey, my husband, is not here yet.”

“No worries. I called him and asked that he give me thirty minutes first with just the two of you. I figured, though, that we would each take our turn as a couple, all three, then individually, then back to all. That is why I asked for the time to be three hours. I have dinner being delivered.”

“Well, you have us two first then. How does this work?”

“Well, the first thing is I want to know what it is that you want out of this ceremony.”

“We want to commit to a life with each other.”

“And what does that look like?”

“For me, Jennifer is the only one that I want to be with. She completes me, but I don’t expect the same from her. I know that her relationship with Trey is important too. I don’t know what the vows or anything can look like to incorporate that. I want this day to be about the two of us, but at the same time not undermine their relationship.”

“Lexi, can I just say how noble of yoow wiu. I am sure, and Jennifer, please stop me if I am wrong, that they both know that you wish this to be about the two of you without taking anything away from them.”

“You are right! Lexi, I love you, and what we have deserves its own day of celebration, just like the day I married Trey.”

“Jennifer, what does committing to each other look like to you?”

“This is where it is going to get different. I see it as promising to be with each other as long as we are always good to each other. If we ever are not good to each other with there being no help of changing that, then I hope that we could be adult enough to walk away. But, first, we would have to exhaust any manner of fixing things before walking. Finally, Lexi is the only woman I want to be with, just as Trey is the only man. So, I guess you could say if we talked just of women, I commit to a monogamous relationship. I don’t want her to, though. I know that, one day, there will be needs that I don’t meet for her and want her to have someone that meets them.”

“Jennifer, I don’t want that!”

“You say that now, but I don’t want you vowing just to be with me and later on feeling like you are trapped because you are a woman of your word but met someone that could give you something that I can’t.”

“Jennifer, Lexi. This is very useful knowledge from the two of you. I know that the two of you have thought long and hard about this and have ideas of what your relationship will look like. I just want to make sure that you--especially you, Lexi--are comfortable with this relationship and what the boundaries are.”

“We have talked about some, but I am sure there are others.”

“Are you all three putting all your funds together or keeping them separate? What are the living arrangements? Will Lexi help with the kids? What is expected?”

“I guess there are some things that we had not thought of. I assumed that I would pay what it takes for me to live in the basement and that there would not be a sharing of funds.”

“That is the easiest, but you all are talking about becoming a committed couple. With that kind of relationship, there are usually things that combine.”

“Well, I guess that if Trey is okay with it, Lexi could pay half. That way it is half paid by me.”

“Jennifer, that is a good idea indeed. I will pay what is mine already and you yours already, but as far as the basement bills, I pay half, and you cover the rest. I do like that. It makes it feel more like a team effort. As far as kids, I figured I would help her when needed, but the parenting is all her and Trey. They don’t need another adult being a parent.”

“This is actually something Trey told me that he wants.”

“Good. Glad to see you two have that figured out, and what about other issues?”

“I assume that we will cross those bridges when we cross them.”

At this time, we noticed that Trey was in the lobby. Maxine asked Jennifer to leave and let us talk. I was not sure why all individually, but figured the minister knew what she was doing. he y wI had assumed that this meeting would be more on the wording and ceremony, but was glad that she was making us think.

“Lexi, are you sure this is the right thing for you? You know that there are times you are not going to feel part of the family and alone. I just want to make sure that this is good for you.”

“It is what I want, and I wish people would stop asking me that. When I am with her, it is like with no one else. I feel alive, wanted, and loved. I know this will work.”

“And what will you do when the new is off?”

“I will deal with it. All couples have the honeymoon stage--monogamous or polyamorous. It is a fact of life.”

“Yes, and with poly families, this is where things get really hard. I just want to make sure you understand that not everything will be wonderful. There will be times that they as the primary relationship make a decision that you are not brought in on. Will you be okay with that?”

“If it doesn’t affect me, then yes.”

“And if it does?”

“I would then hope that they would talk to me before a decision is made and let my thoughts and feelings be a part of the decision making.”

“And if they don’t? Is that a deal breaker?”

“I don’t know why you are asking all this. I know what I want. I want to commit my life to being with Jennifer.”

“I get that. I know you do and can tell that you love her very much. I just want to make sure you understand what all that entails. I would not be a good minister if I didn’t.”

“Thank you for your concern. I am sure that there is nothing that we cannot get through together. We are better together than apart. I love her, and she loves me.”

“I know you two love each other. Now why don’t you step out and let me talk to them?”

I walked out, kissed Jennifer and thanked Trey for coming. I sent them in and stepped out for a cigarette. My mind replayed all that Maxine had said. What did I want? I wanted to say she was my wife, but what did I expect that to look like? There were so many things to think about, and all I knew for certain was that my heart belonged to her.

Chapter Thirty

“Thankand w/di you, Trey, for joining us. I am now going to talk to the two of you together, separate, and then bring all three of you back in. Is that okay with the two of you?”

“Yes. I don’t know why you need me here for their ceremony, though.”

“Glad you brought that up, Trey. I want you here because I want the feel of you in this whole linear triad that is happening. Trey, are you okay with them exchanging vows?”

“Yes, I think I am.”

“You think, Trey? Are you not certain? I love you and need to know that you are okay with this,” Jennifer blurted.

“Jennifer, the only two things I know for certain are that I love you and that I want you happy. If that means letting you make vows to another besides me, then that is what needs to happen.”

“Oh, baby. I do love you, and making vows to her does not lessen the ones I made to you. Just like ours were none of that forsaking all others deal, so will mine to her, we are all going to have nontraditional vows. As long as we are good for each other and to each other, and when we are not we go to no end to try to make it where we are, then we leave separate ways when we are no longer good with no hope of ever being.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, Trey. I promise!”

Trey knew that he meant something to Jennifer. He was just not sure what that meant lately, as it hurt to watch her be so happy with Lexi. He also did not know what he wanted from them as far as respect back to him. He could already tell that this relationship was different from any other one in the past, and it scared him what that could mean for him. Maybe Jill had some good points. Maybe he was getting tired of being poly. He loved Jennifer, though, and could not imagine a world without her in it.

Jennifer was thinking for the first time since starting all the preparations for the ceremony about what this must be doing to Trey. She forgot to check in with him and make sure he was okay. She loved Trey and did not want to hurt him, but she knew that there were some aspects to being poly that meant one would hurt at times and then things would move back to the happier sides of life.

“Both of you have shown me that you love each other just as much as I see it in Lexi and Jennifer. Jennifer, why don’t I talk to Trey first, and then I will send him out and have you come in.”

Jennifer left the room and joined Lexi outside.

“Trey, are there any deal breakers for you that you need to voice? Are there any expectations you have?”

“There are no deal breakers. Expectations, yes--that Jennifer and I parent the kids--not Lexi. That I am the primary partner and respected as such. Other than that, I don’t really know yet.”

“How do you feel about money? Should all three combine? Should Lexi pay half now of the rent to you?”

“I don’t want it all together. I wouldn’t mind half. Jennifer is spending half the time downstairs.”

“With the two not in here, is there anything that you want to voice just so you have it out?="13e ihough, a

“No, don’t think so.”

“Okay. Go bring Jennifer back in.”

Trey went out and directed Jennifer in. Lexi and he sat, just looking at their phones and emails, while Jennifer was inside. They figured that Jennifer was getting the same direct questioning as they had gotten. Neither thought of it as bad--only that it gave them much to think on.

Chapter Thirty-One

“You two, come back in now. We are almost done. The last part, now that I am comfortable that each of you knows what you are getting into, is the ceremony. I see here, Trey, that you are not giving away but sharing away. I like that. I also see that we are adding in some pagan aspects like the Goddess. Lexi, some of this that you sent me you want done before anyone is on site, like the smudging. Is that something you and I do together, or just you, or what?”

“I would like you to do it with me.”

“Very well. You will meet me two hours before the ceremony.”

“Is there anything that you three would like to tell me or ask of me now before we depart?”

“No.” All three of us said in unison.

We were all happy with things. We left the minister with plans tomeet at the park on the next Friday for the rehearsal at the park and dinner to follow. Jennifer had asked me to let her spend the weekend with Trey away from the family. I agreed to watch the kids and help them in any way possible. Jennifer walked me to my car, kissed me goodnight, and thanked me again for everything. I told her how I looked forward to the ceremony but, more importantly, the cruise.

I was pleased with myself for how things were and glad that the meeting had gone well. I was tired and hoped that the kids were going to go down easy tonight. Maybe this weekend would be a good time to work on that relationship with the kids. I had it all planned out and hoped that they would have fun with everything that I had planned.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Trey went to get into the driver’s seat when Jennifer pointed to the passenger side and said that she was driving. This was not normal for them, but he decided that this was his wife and he would let her have the seat to drive if she wanted. Trey watched her drive a bit and realized they were not headed home.

“Love, this is not the direction to the house. What is going on?”

“We are not going home. We have the weekend to ourselves and are headed out to a bed and breakfast in the country.”

“And how long have you had this planned?”

“Since the date was set for the ceremony with Lexi. I asked her to not tell you and watch the kids. Ihe y w13" also told her that you and I needed some time to connect before everything I am gone a week with her.”

“You are something else!”

“That is why you love me! Now, really. Are you okay with everything? With the way funds would be split up? If not, please tell me.”

“I am fine with it. I am glad that she is not dumping her money into the whole along with her bills. I am okay with the write-up for the ceremony, and I will stand there and support you. Don’t worry about it.”

“I just forgot how hard this must be for you and don’t want to neglect you.”

“You have been a little distant, but whenever I am about to say something, you do something like this and take us away to connect. Thank you for always taking us away to connect.”

“You are welcome, my love.”

The two of them were finally able to let go of the worries of the day, the thoughts of the kids, the ceremony, and anything else that tied them to the city. They took the opportunity to enjoy some time alone with each other. The bed and breakfast was everything that the girls at the clinic said it would be and more. Jennifer spent her time reading, and Trey found a nearby fishing pond. They had time to be them and night come back to be the couple that they are.

Chapter Thirty-Three

I got home, paid the babysitter, and got dinner ordered. For the first time, it was just me and the kids. I did not know what to do first with them. I had picked up a few movies that a mother at the rental store said that the kids would like and a few others that she said a teenager would like. I felt as prepared as possible with the movies in hand and all the plans of activities the next couple days, but I also feared I was out of my league on this one. I laid the movies out and said that we would watch two each night. John David had first pick and then Tracy thahe y eart night. The next would be Gracie’s and my turn.

The pizza and wings came, and the kids were happy that I remembered that John David liked cheese and Gracie liked peperoni. I had gotten the kids a half and half pizza and, for Tracy and me, a supreme. That night was easy. The kids ate, and before the second movie was a quarter of the way through, the little ones were out. Tracy helped me put them to bed and then went on to finish the movie while I headed on to bed myself. It was strange sleeping in their bed, but that did not stop Mrs. Sandwoman from taking me away to a peaceful slumber.

The next morning, I woke up to hear the TV going, and I smelled breakfast. I walked into the kitchen to see Tracy making French toast. The kids were watching cartoons. It was a nice sight. I prepared a cup of tea for myself and slipped out the front door to catch a smoke and the morning paper. Tracy soon came out with a plate in hand for me.

“Thank you!”

“No problem. I was wondering if it would be okay if I spent the weekend at my friend’s house?”

“Sure. When did you want me to take you there?”

“I was hoping after breakfast, if that is okay?”“Yes, and thank you for letting me eat first.”

“Thank you for taking me.”

I was used to Tracy disappearing for the weekends to a friend’s house and imagined that Jennifer and Trey would not mind it. I went back to my cup of tea and paper while eating my wonderful breakfast. I knew that the day was packed with outings with the kids. I figured we would drop off Tracy, head over to the CNN and take the tour of the broadcast station, go eat at Hard Rock Café, and go to the zoo. I hoped that would excite them and tire them out, making for an easy evening for me.

“Kids, get ready for the day! I have lots planned for us!”

“Like what?”

“Well, John David, how would you like to take a tour of a real TV station?”

“Really? We are going to do that?”

“Yes, and then we are going to the coolest hamburger joint in town--the Hard Rock Café. Then I figured we could catch the zoo for a couple hours and head home after that.”

“Lexi, you are the best!”

I felt quite proud of myself. The kids cleaned up breakfast and got dressed while I checked in with my parents to see if they wanted to join us for any of it. I was relieved that they agreed to come along as I figured it would be nice to have another set of eyes on these two very active kids. After everyone was ready, we picked up my parents, dropped off Tracy, and headed to the tour.

CNN was not that hard to locate, and I was excited to do something with the kids that I myself had never taken the time out to do. John David and Gracie asked tons of questions throughout the whole tour and couldn’t care less about meeting the news team. I just had to laugh when they wanted to talk more to the camera guy and find out how it worked than they wanted to talk to the stars.

My parents made quite the fuss with the newscast, though. My father a. My fatlways wanted to get to meet them and give them a word or two or three. Everyone was doing well until it was time to leave. The kids were not willing to leave, as they were fascinated beyond belief with the place. We ended up having to carry two crying kids back to the car.

“Thank you again for coming. I don’t know how I would have handled that without you two.”

“Lexi, kids are difficult to take care of when they are having meltdowns. The main thing to remember is, no matter what they say or do, you are the adult. Tell them you love them even though you don’t like their actions. You will be okay. Trust your mother on this one.”

The car ride settled them down, and we piled into the restaurant. Again, their fascination took hold of them as they looked at all the rock and roll memorabilia that filled the place. There were guitars of famous players, a few costumes from singers, and pictures galore! Even I got caught up in the place.

“John David, Gracie, our table is ready.”

“Okay, Lexi!” they hollered while running that way.

“What do you two want to eat?”

“Chicken nuggets,” announced Gracie.

“Cheeseburger,” announced John David.

“Chicken strips okay?”

“Yes.”

“French fries?”

“Yes,” both responded firmly.

“Okay. I will get that ordered for you two and a Sprite each for a drink. Are you having fun?”

“Yes. Can we bring Mommy and Daddy there?” Gracie questioned in a cute manner that only made you want to give her what she asked of you.

“Yes. We will try to.”

The waiter came and took our orders. My mother and father were being very quiet with the whole conversation, and I began to wonder if they were tired or just watching me with the kids. I knew I was exhausted and could not wait to eat, hoping it would give me the boost I needed to make it through the zoo.

“Where did they go?” John David finally asked. I had been wondering how long Mr. Questions would ask me. He was always so quizative, and I fell in love with this no matter how annoying it could be at times.

“Just a little country bed and breakfast to have some time alone.”

“Why couldn’t we go?” Gracie started to pout.

“Because they needed a break from things for a couple days and we can give that to them, right?”

“Yes. I just miss them.” Their little saddened faces just tore right through me, and I realized I missed them too. Luckily it was not a long trip and, with our plans for the weekend, time would fly by.

“They will be back tomorrow night. Now, you two. Are you excited to be in the ceremony your mother and I are having?”

“Yes, but what will we do in it again?”

“Good question, John David. You, my boy, are going to be standing next to me holding the tokens of love and commitment for your mother and me. And, Gracie, you get to stand next to your mother carrying a basket of rose petals that you can scatter all over.”

“Do we have to say anything?”

“No not at all. Mom, Dad, are you ready for it?”

“Yes. I was wondering when you were going to ask.”

“And you, Dad? You are okay not giving me away?”

“I knew since you told me you were what you are that I would not be giving you away. I just ask that you let me make a toast at some point.”

“Of course, Dad. You can make a toast any time you wish.”

Our food came, and we joked and laughed the rest of the time through lunch. The kids and I were getting our second wind, but my parents asked to be dropped off. The zoo was packed full of people, and we only made it halfway before Gracie started throwing a fit. We left and went back to the house.

That night, after dinner, the kids fell asleep during the first movie, and I carried each of them to their beds. For a moment, I allowed myself to gloat over all that had been accomplished and hoped the next day would be just as good. My plans for the next day were simple. We would all clean a bit and then head out to the movies. I hoped that it would not be too late when Jennifer and Trey got in so the kids could see them.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Trey and Jennifer arrived home to two anxious kids. They heard all the stories of the weekend and were happy to find a clean house. Jennifer was so thankful and could not believe how well it seemed to have gone for Lexi.

Later that week was the rehearsal dinner, and nerves all around were on edge. Jennifer wanted everything to be perfect and as planned out, but the best laid plans do not always happen as they are supposed to. People were running late, the restaurant was not ready for when they arrived, and the kids were misbehaving all over the place.

“Trey, please get the kids under control!”

“Jennifer, I am trying. Please just calm down.”

“How can I? There is so much to get done, and tomorrow is the ceremony.”

“Isn’t Lexi helping with all that?”

“Yes, but there is so much I have to do, and I just need you to take care of the kids!”

“I will try and do better. Just please calm down.”

“Thank you, love! Thank you for all that you are doing, and I will try to calm down.”

Jennifer was feeling the pressure of the ceremony. She was at the point that she just wanted it to be over and them to be on their way to the airport. She had forgotten how stressful events like this could be and hoped that she was not being the big bad monster to everyone that she was feeling like she was.

Trey, on the other hand, just wanted it all to be over so that things would calm down some. He was tired of the hustle and bustle of the event. He was glad that the weekend before they had gotten away, but the last week proved to take a toll on him with barely seeing Jennifer--except a couple of nights in there. He hoped that the ceremony and reception would not bring too many questions from people to him about how he felt about it all.

Trey had preferred not being there, but he knew that Jennifer would have been upset with him. Even though she kept saying that he did not have to and could pull out at any moment, he knew that just meant that it was one of those times if he didn’t, it would upset her. Trey knew the best thing was just to grin and bear it, not showing the pain it was causing him to be there.

That night at the restaurant, people each took turns toasting the couple. With each one given, Jennifer glowed more and more. Tears also seemed to come more with each toast, especially when Trey stood up to give his toast to them.

“I never thought my wife would find a wife. I imagined the search for one would last a lifetime. I am glad that search is now over. Lexi, you are now part of this family, and I welcome you to it. I wish the two of you the best, as I know you two wish the same for Jennifer and me. Jennifer, I love you and always want you to be happy and loved. Even if it means I have to share you. Lexi, break her heart, and you answer to me.”

The whole crowd laughed and was awed by the sincerity of his words. Jennifer really lost it with the tears. The saving grace was when Lexi’s father stood up for his toast. Lexi just hoped that he would not embarrass her.

“Lexi, I have loved you since the day I knew you would be entering our lives. You are truly your mother’s daughter and though you call yourself--what is it?—butch, you are my little princess, even as you sit there in a suit and tomorrow will wear a tuxedo. Your mother and I love you and are so proud of you. Jennifer, just as Trey welcomed Lexi into your family, we welcome you and yours into ours. We have come to love each of you as if you had always been there. You make my daughter happy, and I am thanknd I am ful she found you. May the two of you be blessed by the Higher Powers with ever-growing love and years of happiness together. There will be hard times, believe me, but if you keep in mind the common purpose of love and togetherness, you can make it through anything. We love you and wish you the best!”

This was Lexi’s cue to swell up with tears. She was deeply touched by her father’s words. A few more friends like Kelly and Amy stood and toasted them. Then Jennifer built up the nerve to take a turn. She stood, gathered everyone’s attention, and took a deep, long breath.

“Trey, kids, first I thank you for being here with us. Family and friends, thank you too for being here. Lexi, I cannot express the love I have for you and am so glad that you asked this of me. As Trey said, I was always looking for someone that could stand next to me as my wife and found that someone in you. You are my dapper love, and I am honored to be with you.”

With that, Jennifer leaned over and kissed Lexi. The two of them just stared in awe of each other, and Jennifer forgot that there were others there until Gracie called her back to reality. Jennifer took Gracie out to the restroom and took a minute to breathe. This whole evening--whole event--was proving to be overwhelming on many levels for her. She had never felt so much love in one room and felt like she was drunk from it. Shortly they returned, and Lexi stood to make the last toast of the night.

“I want to thank everyone for coming and being a part of this special event. Trey, kids, you especially. I thank you for being here. Mom and Dad, you are the best, and I love you too. Jennifer, my starburst beauty, tomorrow we stand and make vows of love to each other, but no ceremony could really show or express how I feel about you. I love you more today than yesterday and will love you more tomorrow than today. You complete me in so many ways. We are good to each other, and I know that tomorrow will be beautiful. And, if not, I will make it up to you on the cruise. Jennifer, you are my love, and I am the happiest person right now. I am honored to be allowed to be yours and loved by you. Thank you for saying yes and all that you do to make us happen. I love you!”

Again they kissed and held each other. Lexi wiped away the tears, and they whispered sweetly to each other of their love. The crowd soon started to disperse for the night. Kelly snatched Lexi away, and Amy took Jennifer away. Jennifer did not know what was happening, but she was glad that for the surprise.

Soon the two arrived at Amy’s house and Jennifer saw all the adult ladies of the wedding party and a few others there. Amy had arranged for them to meet for a night of fun with the more feminine ladies. Jennifer was amazed that this little detail of the weekend had managed to get past her. She wondered if she was here, where did they take Lexi?

“Jennifer, welcome to your night of fun! There will be dancing, drinking, manicures, and pedicures. Do not fret about Lexi. She is in good hands with Kelly. Now, shall we go in?”

“My! How you are all full of surprises tonight!”

“Well you cannot go off and not have the girls give you a proper party!”

“I thank you, but really, I don’t want to be up all night.”

“Au contraire. The ceremony is at ten, you will be done with the reception by noon and on your plane b your ply two. You want to be exhausted for the plane ride!”

“I am sure I will be ready for the ride! I am already exhausted.”

“Well, don’t worry. We will not have you up too late--just long enough to be pampered.”

Amy handed her a mimosa, and the party got started. The girls had arranged for a striptease dancer to come to the house as the evening’s entertainment. Jennifer had to admit that the evening was turning out to be fun, and she was glad that she had not fought them. She was glad that they had also brought in ladies to do the nails. Once the nails were done and dry, Jennifer was shown to the bubble bath awaiting her and the bed that would be hers for the night. She found sleep easily as she drifted off, wondering what amazement the next day brought and what the honeymoon trip had in store for them.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Kelly had stolen me away to the bar. I was not sure what to expect, but I was thankful to get a smoke in. The night had been stressful, and I was also ready for a drink. All of our butch friends were there and, when we walked in, a plastic lightweight ball and chain was attached to my ankle. The round of jokes started, and I was never so happy to be the subject of them.

“Woodsworth, you were the one that we never imagined would say ‘I do’ to anyone, but we could not let you do it without a bachelorette party.”

“Why, thank you! You are all an amazing group of friends and family!”

“Now, just sit right there and enjoy the show!”

I expected that Kelly had hired some striptease, and she did not fail. I had to admit the lady was a beauty, but she did not compare to my love. The rest of the dancers, though, left me laughing. Lee and John had hired the Queens to give me a dance. I had not laughed so hard in days. Still, when the party ended, I was glad to get home.

I showered and thought of the day to come and how my dreams were coming true. I thought of the vows I had to say and how I wanted my love to show in them. Then doubt started to enter my mind. I pushed it to the far back corners of my mind and found sleep to come quickly.

The next morning I woke up extremely early. I showered and went up to get me a cup of tea. It was 6 a.m., and I was already feeling my nerves take a toll. I stepped outside and had a smoke and hoped that Kelly was awake. I dialed her number and waited for her to pick up.

“Kelly, you awake?”

“I am now. What is going on?”

“I am doing the right thing, right?”

“Only you can answer that, but relax. It will be fine.”

“Thank you! What time are you picking me up?”

“Well, we have to be on location at eight, so figured I would come get you at seven-thirty.”

“Okay. I will let you go and finish getting ready. Thank you!”

“Anytime!”

With that, we hung up, and I began to finish getting my bag ready to load up. Kelly had agreed to play taxi to the airport. I was so thankful for her friendship. She had really helped to keep me in line over the years. I was truly blessed to have her in my life.

Seven-thirty came quickly, and Kelly was out honking the horn. I could not believe that we were headed over, and that this was actually all happening. I still could not shake my fears that maybe I wasn’t making the right choice and hoped that, by the time of the ceremony, they would vanish.

“Still doing the worrying thing, huh?” Kelly asked as I got in. I knew my face was giving away all the signs to her.

“Yes, I am, and right now I do not want them getting in the way. I want this and know it is right. I just can’t seem to get my mind to rest, though.”

“Don’t worry, Lexi. Everyone has pre-commitment jitters. It goes with the territory.”

“Oh. Thanks!”

“Hey. That is what I am here for, right?” She teasingly said while slapping me on the shoulder.

“Yes, and it is why you are my best friend.”

“If I don’t get a chance to thank you later, please know that I am.”

“Now, don’t go getting all sentimental on me. We have known each other a long time, and I have never seen anyone make you so happy. Today will be good. You will see!”

We arrived at the park and found where everything was set up. I let Kelly stay as the minister, and I cleansed with sage and consecrated the grounds. It was a good feeling to bring in the Deities that I followed to the place where I was soon going to make my vows.

“Earth Mother, I acknowledge you here with us Bless this ceremony and know you are in my heart. Sky Father, you who is always above us, be with us now, and bless this ceremony. To the Shining ones, I call to you! Join us and bless this day of commitment. Nature spirits all around, be with us, and help us celebrate! And Ancestors of Jennifer and myself, be with us and bless us as we share our love in spoken words!”

Maxine made her own calls and blessings, and soon the place felt perfectly relaxed. I had a few moments just to feel the peace before everyone else started arriving. The time alone this day was welcomed, and I was glad that Maxine did not push to talk again about the arrangement and whether or not I was ready for all it entailed. I wasn’t sure how I would answer her.

Soon Trey, the kids, and my parents arrived. They all looked stunning! John David even wore a tie! The girls were so beautiful in their dresses. I was amazed. I was also amazed at how beautiful the site looked. The team that Jennifer and my mother had hired really out did themselves.

emselves

My father pulled me away, and I was not sure why. He had a big grin on his face, and I just knew that he was up to no good. He walked us far away from everyone and, for the first time, I saw something that I had never seen before in my life. Tears streamed down his face. He then reached into his pocket and handed me a pocket watch.

“This was your grandfather’s watch. He received it on his wedding day from his father and passed it down to me on mine. Now I pass it down to you. May it bring you as much luck as it has me over the years. Remember, whenever you get into arguments, to pause and take time away. This watch will remind you to do so.”

“Thank you, Dad. I will cherish it.”

“Are you okay? Need anything?”

“I am nervous, and all these fears have been building up in me since last night.”

“That is normal. I almost ran three times the day I married your mother. My father threatened to put lead in my shoes so I could stay put.”

“Really? I never knew that. How did you cope? How did you push them aside?”

“I reminded myself that no one else in the world made me as happy as your mother and that if it were not right, then something would have happened to drive us apart before the day of the ceremony. I also reminded myself that my father would kick my butt for not following through. And I have never regretted marrying your mother one day of our lives.”

“Thank you, Dad. Jennifer really does make me happy. But did the fear ever leave?”

“Yes, three beers into the reception. The ceremony itself I sweated all the way through. Then, when it was done, I still could not relax. It was mostly a blur, and I don’t even know what I said. Your mother cried and said she loved me. I asked her one time what I said, and she could not remember. She just knew that I had spoken from the heart.”

“This does help to know. Think I could have a shot of something beforehand?”

“That would be a big fat no! You, my dear, have to do this sober. There will be time later to get a drink, but for the ceremony, you have to have a clear head--even if it will be a blur later. I love you, and you will do fine!”

“I love you too!”

We walked back to rejoin everyone. The photographer had arrived and was getting set up to start the pictures as we agreed to do some first and some afterwards. The bridal party was going to go first and then the bachelorette party. After that would be separate family shots and shots with the minister.

Everyone kept me from seeing Jennifer, and I was going nuts. I just knew that, if I had a chance to talk to her, my fears would go away. That chance never came, though. I just had to deal with them myself. I prayed and prayed that things would ease up and that I would get past it.

Finally it was time to get in our places. I then had a new thought. Run! I wanted to run as fast as I could. Even though this was what I wanted, every fear became real to me. My heart pounded, and I could not control my sweats. I assumed that this is what my father had talked about.

Maxine started the ceremony and was speaking of how we had gathered to join Jennifer and me together in love. She said that, though this relationship was a polyamorous one, its vows were still as important as any other’s. I found myself zoning and hoping that soon my starburst beauty would be walking up the aisle as we had written out the ceremony with Maxine to make it a little less traditional and incorporate the uniqueness of our family.

My wait was not long. There she was. The music started, and she walked toward me. She looked amazingly beautiful. I still could not face the running feeling inside me. There was everything that I ever wanted in one woman, and at this moment--this time of joy--I wanted to run.

Maxine asked the question, “Who gives this woman?,” and my heart stopped, waiting for the answer. I feared that Trey would decide not to share her at the last minute. I longed to have her beside me and didn’t want anything to get in the way.

“I do not give Jennifer to Lexi, but I share her with Lexi. Her children and I share Jennifer.”

With that, my beautiful starburst beauty left his side and came to mine. Her smile warmed my soul. Her beauty was radiant. I felt my heart swell with the love that I had for her, yet there was still a part of me that told me to run.

I had time still to run, didn’t I? I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew soon we would get to the vows, and I had to make a choice. Do I run and hurt my love, or do I stay and wait for the feeling to leave me? And when I looked in her eyes, my answer was easy, I stay. I stay with my starburst beauty and start a new voyage of love!

Note to the readers:

If you find your love is married, pray that they be poly!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Grace Nolen is a polyamorous polytheistic pagan. She is the author of several nonfiction earth-based spiritual articles. Woodworth’s Scoop is her first fiction novel and a story that holds close to her heart.

Heterosexual monogamous romance stories abound. Homosexual and bisexual monogamous fiction is gaining in popularity. But what about the nation’s more than 500,000 polyamorous individuals? Where can they find fiction that portrays a worldview with which they can identify? Nolen’s novel fills this gap in the existing romantic literature.

When not working on her cutting edge fiction, Grace is pursuing her career as a business administrator for a local clinic and enjoying photography or joining her partner in the garden. Grace more often though can be found actively improving her craft as a member of various online writers’ groups on such as the page on Facebook fon Facebor Gay and Lesbian fiction. Grace Nolen lives on the Gulf Coast with her wife of two years, her wife’s primary husband, and their collective large amount of children.