by

Kiera Dellacroix

Part One

I

I flipped up the collar of my coat to protect me from the cold and walked by the two uniformed bookends standing guard over the scene. They didn't look at me as I entered the house, and I appreciated the small gesture of respect. They closed ranks after I entered and cast denying eyes on the throng of journalists ecstatically congregating over the scent of fresh blood. Journalists. A fancy name for overeducated yet criminally ignorant, self-infatuated, ultra-liberal bottom feeders. Preying on the misfortunes of others so they could go home and jerk off over how good they looked during their last five-minute spot.

Tonight, it was my misfortune, and the reality of that was beginning to weigh on me heavily as I traveled slowly down the hall toward the back of the house. I passed several people on the way, many of which stood aside to let me pass and nodded politely. A few even reached out to pat me sympathetically.

Billy Winters, a good man and a family friend, was waiting for me at the entrance to the den. Pushing forty and wickedly smart with the appearance of an average slob in a wrinkled suit, he was the perfect cop. He lifted a hand to bring me up short.

"Maddie, he was shot low. It ain't pretty."

The words struck me painfully, and suddenly the weight assaulting me increased tenfold. There was only a meter or so between me and a corpse that lay in a pool of blood. The body of a man I considered my father. A man, who had traveled halfway around the world to provide me with a home, when his brother died. A man, who loved me unconditionally. A man who was there for me through thick and thin, always ready with a shoulder to cry on and, more often than not, equally ready to turn me over his knee. I smiled slightly as I recalled just how many times the latter had taken place. Gus never let me get too big for my britches. As early as yesterday, he only had to hint at the threat of a walloping to bring me back in line. The man could have his belt off in the blink of an eye, and he wielded it with the skill of a maestro. Considering what an ornery bitch I was and am, it was nothing short of miracle I had an ass left to fill out the back of my jeans.

It dawned on me abruptly that never again would I have Gus to fall back on and the next time I needed him, he wouldn't be there for me. At this moment, I needed him in the worst way, and the knowledge that someone had stolen something as precious to me as he was life began to simmer hotly in my stomach. I drew strength from my anger.

"Step aside, Billy."

"You sure, Maddie?"

I nodded and brushed by him to enter the room. My eyes tracking immediately to the fallen corpse of my Dad. With a violent resolution, I fought off the tears I felt forming. It was hard to see the man I fancied invincible lying dead on the floor. I knelt to lay a tender hand upon his cold cheek and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. It took a minute for me to acquire the detachment necessary to study the scene with professionalism, but I managed it. My eyes tracked carefully around a room that was at once alien and achingly familiar.

"Anything been moved, Billy?" I asked.

"Nope, forensics still enroute."

I stood and felt my eyes narrow as a picture of events took shape in my mind. There was a wide hole in the back of Gus's chair and blood on the wall behind it. Whoever had shot him had done so while he sat behind his desk. From the angle, the killer had shot him from a seated position. Which meant Gus was at gunpoint when the killer entered or was comfortable enough to allow him entry and let him take a seat in one of the two chairs that faced his desk. Probably the latter, as Gus was no one to fool with. If uninvited and detected, the intruder would have a fight on his hands. With this conclusion, I knew the round that had struck Gus had come to him as a surprise.

The blood trail on the hardwood floor started at the corner of the desk and led to where the body now rested. The chair in which the killer sat lay overturned on the floor. With a wound that began with a hole that could've been made by a drill and ended with an opening in his back that you could fit a can of beans into, Gus had risen from his chair. No doubt with the intention of reaching his assassin. He had managed to get around the desk before his strength failed and he fell to the ground. Rapidly bleeding to death, he pulled himself forward in a desperate attempt to crush his assailant, who surprised at his determination, retreated. The blood trail and the overturned chair told me the story as plainly as if I had been a fly on the wall.

Yet the thing that got my dander up, the fact that left my throat thirsty for vengeance, was the comprehension that Gus had been shot only one time. The twisted fuck wanted Gus to suffer. Instead of firing another round to finish him, the killer was content to sit in front of the desk and watch him die from the slow and agonizing pain of a belly wound. It was the kind of death one inflicted on a hated enemy. A thought I would have to give careful consideration to later.

"What do you make of it, Maddie?" Billy asked.

"It was malicious."

"I agree," he said. "Large caliber hollow point. Just one shot fired."

"They wanted him to suffer, Billy."

"We'll get the son of a bitch who did this, Maddie."

"No, you won't. But I will."

"You know I can't allow that."

"You can't stop it either."

Billy took a deep breath and gestured to the two uniforms in the room. "Take a break, fellas. Close the door on the way out." They did as they were told and I prepared myself for the impending lecture.

"I'll yank your license, Maddie. I won't have you wandering around out there in a temper. Believe it or not, there are more than a few people in high places that would love to get a piece of you. I can't keep your ass out of the fire if you light a new one every five minutes."

I almost smiled. "You just gave yourself away, Billy. I thought it was Gus that kept me out of prison, but it was you wasn't it?"

He opened his mouth to protest but gave in with a slight nod.

"Just give me some room, Billy," I asked. "I want this guy and I know you do too."

He shuffled in place and I could practically see the debate warring furiously behind his eyes. I played my ace.

"Please, Billy," I asked sweetly, begging him with my best puppy dog look.

"Goddamn it," he shot back instantaneously. "That bullshit look didn't work with Gus, and there ain't one fuckin' reason why I should let it work on me."

"You loved him, Billy. Just like I did. Prison just isn't enough and you know it."

He caved. "Two conditions."

"I'm listening."

"One, you keep me informed," he said sternly, and I knew there would be no negotiating.

"Done."

"Two, don't let me live to see in you in the slam. I can't protect you on this one. Gus was a good cop with a lot of friends. Friends on every rung of the ladder. A lot of people are gonna be watchin'."

"Point taken."

"I hope like hell you mean that. You best tread lightly."

"This means too much to me to fuck up, Billy."

He spent a long moment studying me and finally turned to open the door, readmitting the uniforms and the overdue forensics team.

"Who found him?" I asked as the men made their way into the room.

"A patrolman I sent by when he didn't show for work," Billy said.

"Gus had some people over last night. He asked me to come, but I couldn't make it. What time do you figure for time of death?"

"Four to six hours," Billy said. "That's preliminary. Do you know who was on the guest list?"

"No, but if it wasn't the regular guys, Woody will know."

"Was he here last night?"

"Gus said he was coming," I said. "I'll give him a call when I get home."

"Alright," Billy replied. "I'll let you tell him, and I expect a complete copy of that list."

I nodded to agree.

"Who's making the arrangements, Maddie?"

The weight on my chest reappeared with the words, and suddenly I had to leave. I needed a dark and quiet place. "Woody will, I gotta go," I said, my voice strained even to my own ears.

"Maddie," Billy said softly. "You need anything. Anything at all, company, a place to stay, or just a sympathetic ear. You call me, understand?"

"Yeah," I choked out gratefully. "I'll buzz you tomorrow, Billy."

"You do that," he ordered and I mustered a small smile before striding quickly from the room.

Instead of the front door, I changed course and slipped out the back. Skulking through the yard to avoid the media vultures waiting out front. I made it to the shitbox I laughingly called my car and managed a clean getaway. The tears started a block away from home and I ran up the stairs, hoping to get safely inside before I shattered. It was a close call.

--------- I spent the rest of the day and night sitting up on the floor between my bed and the wall, practically mummified in a comforter. It was a long night. When I was twelve, I said goodbye to a father that didn't care and having no memory of the woman known as mother. Nineteen years later, I cried for my father's brother. A man who had made room in his life, without hesitation or regret, for a niece he never knew existed. I cried until I fell asleep.

I awoke before dawn and spent the early hours coming to terms with the course of action I was soon to embark on. I needed suspects, and it occurred to me that I was only one of many who loved Gus. He was a bear of a man who made friends easily. He could be accused of many things, but even those he confronted on the other side of the law would be hard pressed to call him unfair. All who knew him, respected him. He was the kind of man you wanted as a friend and feared as an enemy. But who could hate him enough to watch him suffer? I was dying to know the answer.

As the new day dawned, my first one without Gus, I made a promise. A promise to myself. Justice would be done. It wouldn't be the kind of justice dispensed from the courts. There would be no flower power attorney endeavoring to persuade a jury with sob stories of broken homes and extenuating circumstances. No ridiculous accusations of racial bigotries or bullshit insanity pleas. Fucking lawyers. They were just a step below journalists on the evolutionary scale. No. The soon to be dead bucket of monkey spunk that shot my Dad would know how it felt to die by degrees on the floor with their guts on fire.

It took longer than I thought to pick myself up and head for the kitchen. I needed a hot shower and a cup of coffee, lots of coffee. I had a moment of sheer panic when I opened the cupboard and found an empty box of coffee filters, but a few moments of rummaging through the trash produced one I could easily reuse. I got the java started and dug a cigarette out of my jacket as I relieved myself of my clothes.

I soon found myself standing naked before the mirror in my bathroom, and I placed the smoke carefully on the edge of the counter. I was lonely and it wasn't just because I lost Gus. That only made it more unbearable. I had long been suffering from the effects of a complete lack of companionship. I needed a lover.

Now don't get me wrong, I needed a lover for all the right reasons. I didn't need sex, although that had a certain appeal. Sex could be easily had, and I thought more of myself than to just hop in bed with the first slut that happened along. I couldn't take anything away from a one-night stand that I couldn't get from a finger or a modestly sized vibrator that, in occasional moments of self-induced passion, I called Stephanie. I wanted more than gratification and had wanted it for far too long. It bothered me that at thirty-one, I was still waiting for the right person. What was the hold up?

I was attractive. Hell, I was fuckin' gorgeous. Despite a face made puffy from recent tears, I had pretty pale green eyes and long, rusty black hair that I always wore in a tail. I stood five-five and wasn't at all hard to look at. I mean shit, if I was me, I would want me. I had tits that would make the lactose intolerant beg for buttermilk and my ass could give the Pope a holy boner. Not for the first time, I concluded that my marital status was due in large part to my personality. It needed some tuning.

I spared a moment to feel sorry for those who would never know the pleasure of my company before I threw my smoke in the toilet and climbed into the shower.

--------- After my coffee and three more cigarettes, I picked up the phone to call Gus's son, my cousin Woody. It was a difficult conversation and his words haunted me long after he disconnected.

"We're the only Ledoux's left, Maddie."

It was true and I decided to make more of an attempt to ease relations with my often infuriating and overbearing older cousin. Gus had long been peacemaker between us, and I knew it would make him happy if I put in a little more effort. It wouldn't be easy; Woody was a lawyer. Worse yet, Woody was a civil rights lawyer. Hypocritical, treasonous, draft dodging, pot smoking bastards! I honestly believe that if you asked a civil rights attorney who wrote the U.S. Constitution, three out of five would say racists and the other two would say Adolph Hitler. Obviously, making nice with Woody was going to take a lot out of me.

I did, however, receive a list of guests who had graced Gus's home on the night of his death. More than one of the names raised an eyebrow, and I dialed Billy's number, hoping to get the skinny on the people I didn't recognize.

The conversation lasted through another cup of Joe and I hung up the phone with a destination in mind. A starting point. Gus had invited seven people into his home, excluding Woody, and all but one were suspects until I got proof that said otherwise.

I left a smoke burning in the ashtray while I slipped into a pair of jeans and an olive button up; a pair of boots and a leather half trench completed my ensemble. I took one last drag from my cigarette and reached for my cell phone and gun. The weight of the .45 on my hip always provided me comfort and this time was no different. Why a .45? Because I don't go in for plastic pussy pistols or Euro trash double actions, I was made in the USA and .45 was the caliber of champions.

A pair of Vuarnet's found a home on my face when I emerged onto the street, and, if you didn't count the gun, they were the most expensive part of my wardrobe. Actually, the sunglasses were more expensive than my car.

The vehicle I refer to was once a Buick, but for the last ten years I just referred to it as a piece of shit. A homeless wino, in the midst of a blizzard, would pass up my car to take refuge in a newspaper someone had wiped their ass on.

The shitbox started on the third try, and I zipped up my jacket because turning on the heater would only kill the engine. When my hands stopped shaking from the cold, I consulted my list. The first two people I wanted to talk to were ones I knew only by reputation. Two people I would've never figured Gus to give a squirt of piss about, let alone invite over to dinner. It was a thirty-minute drive to the upper crest part of suburbia, and I hoped to arrive before hypothermia set in.

--------- The home of Sidney and Tish Binkowski offended me on sight. In the middle of a painstakingly manicured lawn there resided, to my complete horror, a family of plastic lawn animals. I knew several things immediately. The Binkowski's were either Democrats or Baptists and if both, I could guarantee that they would lie to me. Lawn animals were always a dead giveaway. Fake animals meant fake people. I knew in my heart that somewhere deep within the homes of Rosie O'Donnell and Al Gore, one would find a plethora of plastic animals. That is, if Rosie hadn't broken down by now, dipped them in cake frosting, and eaten them.

I pulled into the driveway and parked in front of closed garage doors, going over in my mind what I knew about the Binkowski's. The howitzer-like backfire of my shitcar didn't distract me, I had long since gotten used to it.

Sid was an old money banker and a small time launderer who liked to fancy himself part of Organized Crime. It was true he had connections, but he was only thrown enough action to keep him feeling important. A dope on a rope. An outsider that served the dual purpose of unrelated resource and potential patsy.

The dish on Tish was that she was an ex-blowjob ho that lucked into a sugar daddy. After they hooked up, they bought an upper class home in a respectable neighborhood and tried hard to blend in with the rich and pretentious. I wasn't fooled. What I couldn't figure was why Gus would give these two the time of day. I intended to find out and waited less than a minute for the door to be answered by, of all things, a butler. If he had an English accent, I might just laugh.

"Yes?"

No accent but I'd be willing to bet his name was Igor. "Sidney and Tish Binkowski, please."

"And you are?"

"Maddie Ledoux, I'm a private cop."

He raised an eyebrow. "Identification, please."

"But, of course," I said, letting him have a split-second glance at my credentials.

"I'm afraid neither of the Binkowski's are available," he said with refined insolence.

"So you're telling me that if they heard you screaming out on the lawn, neither of them would respond to your pleas for help?"

He caught his smile before it bore fruit, quickly appraising me and realizing I was serious. Lucky thing, although I was disappointed. I was cold and wiping that grin off his face would've warmed me up a little. "Please, follow me," he said with a sarcastic gesture of gallantry.

I was led into a spacious den that was encircled by overflowing bookshelves. Igor excused himself, and finding myself alone, curiosity forced me to choose a book at random. Upton Sinclair's 'The Jungle', the title surprised me. Lawn animals and classic literature seemed a contradiction. The book opened with a creak, the spine so stiff I could tell it had never been opened. Fake people. I put the book back just as the door opened and I smiled at my own cleverness.

I was on a roll.

Tish had a bogus rack that defined ludicrous. I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I poked her with a sharp object, and I conjured up images of her flying all over the place like a deflating balloon. Aside from hooters that made the room feel somehow confining, the woman was apparently trying to fight off middle age with the assistance of pancake makeup and a rivet gun. A Tammy Fay Baker clone used hard and put up wet, one could almost see the stretch marks around her mouth. She must have gone down on a few guys that bred horses for a living.

Far less impressive than his wife, Sidney was nothing extraordinary. A balding little man that had given over to fat and grown comfortable with it.

"Was it necessary to threaten my doorman?" Sid asked.

"You wanna tell me why you were at Gus Ledoux's the night he was killed?" I asked.

"Mr. Ledoux was an acquaintance and we were delighted to accept his invitation to dinner."

I sighed. "Okay, let me rephrase. Mr. Ledoux was a cop. Why would he invite a hooker and a fraud into his home?"

Tish stood up so fast she almost overbalanced, but Sid beat her to the microphone. "How dare you!" he spat. "Get out of my house!"

The door opened behind me, and I didn't have to turn around to know the Binkowski's had a thug. I ignored his presence and leveled a bored look at Sid. "I can rephrase the question again if I haven't made myself clear."

Sid sneered. "I'm under no obligation to answer you. Now if you'll excuse us? Michael, please remove this, woman."

I felt the thug place a hand on my shoulder and I spun immediately, kneeling slightly to grab a handful of his package through the crotch of his slacks. The hand on my shoulder fell away and landed on my wrist in a futile attempt to break my grip. When the barrel of my gun made contact with his chin, he reluctantly brought both hands away and raised them above his head. Almost comical since he couldn't stand up straight and was close to tears.

"When I let go, you're not going to test me are you?"

He shook his head violently.

I released my grip and he let out a whimper. "On the floor, lie on your back," I said, gesturing to a spot several feet away with a wave of my gun.

He did what he was told, moving with small, hunched over stutter steps. Lowering himself to the floor with a groan, he cupped a soothing and protective hand over his mangled jewels.

"Spread eagle and look away from me," I said. "If you open your mouth or look in my direction, you'll piss blood for a month."

He complied and I turned my attention back to the Binkowski's. "Now, I want an answer to my question, and don't dick me around."

Sid pursed his lips, the expression striking me as ridiculously queer. "What do you intend to do with the gun?"

"Bend over and I'll show you."

"Don't talk to me like that!"

I lowered my sunglasses to the end of my nose and cast a lascivious look at Tish. "I wasn't talking to you."

I got a sharp gasp from the whore and a furious look from both for my joke, and I smiled nefariously. "Now that the pleasantries are over, answer my question."

Sid struggled with himself but finally relented. "Mr. Ledoux and I had bumped into each other several times in the past. He invited us over to discuss an old case he had been working on."

"A case involving you?"

"No, but he claimed to have come across a connection that he thought I could help him with."

"What case?"

"I don't know exactly, he only asked us about a person I dealt with many years ago."

"And this person was?"

"Sabrina DiCarlo."

The name rang a bell, but I couldn't place it. "I feel I should know that name."

"The DiCarlo's have ceased to exist, they were wiped out by the Sirico family in a vendetta almost seven years ago. Sabrina was the daughter of Salvotore DiCarlo."

"What was your association with her?"

"She was heir apparent to the DiCarlo family. Appointing a woman to be head of the family offended many old world sensibilities and led to DiCarlo's downfall," Sid hesitated. "I met her once to discuss, uhm, laundry. She disappeared soon after and I'm glad."

"Why's that?"

"She was just a teenager, but she was a snake. Ruthless even by harsh standards."

"Is that all you and Gus talked about?"

"Business wise, yes. The rest of the evening was spent socially. Mr. Ledoux was an interesting and entertaining host."

"Yes, he was," I said under my breath.

"You're his daughter aren't you?" Tish finally spoke. "I thought you looked familiar. There were several pictures of you in Mr. Ledoux's home."

"Yes," I said brusquely. "What time did you leave that night?"

"Around eleven I think."

"Where did you go after?"

"Home."

"Did you stay at home for the rest of the night?"

"Yes."

"Can anyone confirm that?"

Sid's brow wrinkled. "I think the staff had already retired. So other than my wife, I don't know."

"I see."

"Miss Ledoux, my first intention was to call the police after you had left, but realizing who you are, I'll swallow my pride. I liked Gus. He seemed an honest man and that's a rare thing."

"That he was," I agreed. "I'll call if I need anything else. Thank you for your time."

"Good day, Miss Ledoux," he said dryly and I turned to make my way through the house.

When I sat down behind the wheel, I reached for a cigarette but didn't light it. Sometimes you learn that even fake people have a trace of reality in them. It was unsettling.

--------- My cell phone rang on the way back into the city, it was Billy.

"Maddie, ballistics came back."

"And?"

".357 magnum. It was carved."

I ground my teeth. "What?"

"You heard me the first time."

I fought back a violent outburst. A carved round was a personal touch designed to aid expansion after impact. The effects in flesh were brutal.

"Anything else?"

"That's all I got so far."

"Do me favor. I need all the info you got on a Sabrina DiCarlo."

"As in the DiCarlo crime family?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, I'll look into it. Wanna tell me why?"

"Not quite sure yet, gimme a little time."

"Fair enough, I'll have a uniform drop a copy of the ballistics off at your office."

"Thanks, Billy."

"Be in touch."

I slipped the phone back into my jacket and saved my hate for a day in the hopefully not too distant future. The next name on my list was one Billy had provided details for since I had never heard of her. Sarah Caruso was a do-gooder that ran a halfway house on the east side, active in many of the local charities and community volunteer. I groaned. Her name might as well have been Mary Poppins. The woman probably tortured and killed small animals for fun and used a bidet to wash her ass.

The address Billy had given me turned out to be a respectable looking building, despite the bums assembled in groups out front. I parked next to the curb and hurried inside to escape the cold. The interior was surprisingly clean and was even equipped with a secretary who smiled at me as I approached, no doubt pegging me as another vagrant to cater to.

"May I help you?"

"Maddie Ledoux to see Sarah Caruso, please."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but she'll make time," I said, whipping out my identification.

Unimpressed, she picked up the phone. "Miss Caruso, there's a private detective here to see you."

A second of silence and she hung up as she rose from her seat. "Follow me, please."

I trailed her to an old elevator that took us up exactly one story and I rolled my eyes. When the doors opened, I found a populated floor covered in cubicles and I caught a snippet of conversation as I was led through the maze. A woman was loudly complaining that her welfare check wasn't large enough to pay her cable bill and the bastards had discontinued her service.

Gee, what a kick to the head.

I didn't need an aerial photograph to know the woman was so fat that if she went to the zoo, the elephants would probably throw her peanuts. I'm glad my tax dollars fed her while she sat around watching cable TV and inhaling raw bricks of Velveeta cheese.

Now I'm a hard ass, but not as hard as you probably think. I'm more than willing to admit that some people need help, and by God someone should be there to give them a hand. I know that life sometimes throws you a curve and though you may fall down, the country I live in is there to help you get up. However, that same country shouldn't be held hostage by those who want to stay down, and there isn't one fuckin' reason why I or anybody else should have to tolerate it. Far too many people sat around expecting a free ride. Me, me, me. That's all they cared about. Happily content to take and take and never give anything back. Nobody owed these people an existence, and I resented every penny the government gave to a woman who probably drank ketchup straight from the bottle as she watched cable television. I wouldn't let her mow my lawn for a dog biscuit. It's a fuckin' crime they let people like that vote. They didn't give a shit about their country, yet demanded that the country give a shit about them. It was a liberal tragedy inflicted upon us all that so many could care less about anything other than the next handout they felt they somehow deserved.

The thundering from my imaginary pulpit came to an abrupt end as my guide opened the door to a walled office and gestured me inside. I managed two steps before stumbling the last few paces into a chair.

Wow! I was glad I still had on my shades so she couldn't see how dilated my eyes were. Sarah Caruso made my beaver twitch. She had long blonde hair that was tied up in a bun and moody green eyes that I would love to see looking up at me from between my legs. Her face was cute but held subtle signs of depth and maturity. Her body, well, I couldn't see her from the waist down because she sat behind her desk, but there was no doubt I'd still be a nursing long after the tit ran dry.

She looked at me curiously and I resisted the urge to lick my lips. "What can I do for you, detective?"

"I," I cleared my throat. ",I wanted to ask you a few questions about the night Gus Ledoux died."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Maddie."

"Can I see your identification, please?"

I reached into my jacket and leaned forward to lay my ID on the surface of her desk. She reached out to pick it up, and my eyes strayed to her hand, wondering what it would be like to,

"Matilda Ledoux?" she asked, her mouth quirking in amusement.

"That would be me."

"Actually, I know who you are. Gus had a lot of pictures. I could tell you were very important to him. I was saddened to hear of his death."

"That's why I'm here."

"Of course," she said with a nod. "I'm at your disposal."

Yowsa! I fumbled for words and concentrated on the wall behind her head.

"You're a bit of a local legend, you know," she said playfully.

"Oh?"

"Sure, there was a piece on the local news about you."

"Is that a fact?"

"Are you being modest?"

" I'm just wondering what piece you were referring to?"

She laughed and I instantly crossed my legs, suddenly debating the merits of a lunchtime liaison with Stephanie. "Alright, I've seen more than one, but I was referring to your time in the Army. Local girl flies Apache gunship into combat."

I nodded noncommittally. "That's not the thing most people remember."

"Unfortunately true. May I ask, just for my own curiosity, why you felt it necessary to stun gun Senator Hilary, drag him from his vehicle, beat him to within an inch of his life and then mace him in the face?"

I squirmed in my seat. "He resisted arrest."

"I see. Did you know that even today he still walks funny?"

"Hadn't noticed," I lied.

"Just between you and me," she leaned forward conspiratorially, "I hate that man. It boggles the mind he continues to get reelected."

I might be in love.

"So how long were you a cop?" she asked to hold up the conversation since I was no doubt staring at her in adoration.

"Three months."

She laughed again and I hoped my jeans would remain absorbent enough to keep me from sliding out of my chair. "I followed your trial rather closely in the papers. I was relieved to hear you avoided incarceration."

I shrugged. "So how did you know Gus?"

"He came to me about four months ago and asked about a stray that passed through here a few years back."

"A Sabrina DiCarlo?"

"Uhm, no, the name was Marissa Fiore."

"What was her story?"

"Not much to tell," she shrugged. "Came to us in the middle of the night six or seven years ago, stayed for two days and then completely disappeared."

"Do you have any records on her, a picture maybe?"

"No, she wasn't here long enough for much of a file, and at the time we suspected the information she gave was false. After she disappeared we never followed up."

"Alright, what time did you leave the party the night of the murder?"

"I think everyone left around eleven, but I'm not certain."

"Did you come straight home?"

"Yes."

"Anyone able to verify that?"

"I live alone."

"No husband?"

"No."

"Boyfriend?"

"No," she smiled slyly. "I don't have a girlfriend either. Not yet anyway."

"Thank you for saving me the trouble of asking," I said, hoping like hell I wasn't blushing.

"I'm glad I could help."

"Me too. Besides Gus, did you know any of the people there that night?"

"I knew Woodrow from a court case a few years ago, but other than that no."

I smiled a little at that. Woody hated to be called Woodrow. "Did you notice anything suspicious or out of whack about the other people present?"

"Just Tish's boobs."

The answer caught me by surprise and I laughed, somewhat charmed at the bright smile I got in return.

"You have a delightful laugh, Matilda."

My smile faded a little. "Call me Maddie."

"Of course," she said. "And the answer to your next question is yes."

"Oh?" My eyebrows went up in surprise. "What question would that be?"

"You were going to ask me to dinner."

"I was?"

"Tomorrow night would be perfect."

"It would?"

"Yes, it would. Let me give you my private number, call me later and we'll decide on a time and place," she said as she scribbled on the back of a business card.

Oh, man! Stephanie was definitely gonna get a workout today. I tried not to look as desperate as I felt when I reached over her desk to accept the card. "You'll definitely be hearing from me, Miss Caruso."

"Call me, Sarah," she said as she rose to her feet.

"Alright, Sarah," I said with what I hoped was a beguiling smile. "Do you mind if I ask you one more question?"

"Not at all."

"Do you own a gun?"

"Uhm, why yes."

"What caliber?"

"Nine millimeter."

"Thank you for speaking to me, Sarah."

"It was indeed a pleasure, Maddie. I look forward to hearing from you."

I thanked God when she walked over to open the door for me. I was afraid I wouldn't get a chance to look at her ass. It didn't disappoint.

She held out a hand and I stopped to shake it gently. "Talk to you soon."

She just nodded and as I walked away I listened for the sound of her door closing. When it didn't come, I turned a look over my shoulder and caught her staring. My jacket got in the way so I lifted the back of it so she could get a look. When ya got it, flaunt it.

She smiled and I shot her one in return before continuing on my way. I avoided the elevator and hurried down the stairs, anxious to get home. I had an urgent need, uh, I mean I had something important to do.

II

Foolishly, I decided to save time and take the Interstate. But as luck would have it, I ended up at a complete stop and boxed in by traffic. That is to say that although my homeward momentum may have ground to a halt, my libido had done nothing but accelerate. When it became obvious that I was in for a wait, I ground my teeth in frustration and studied the people in the cars that surrounded me. Perhaps, I could sneak in a quickie and no one would notice. Besides, it might keep me from freezing to death. Looking around carefully, I undid the buttons of my jeans, my hand only inches away from the oven when traffic in the next lane began to move forward.

Wasting no time, I grabbed the wheel and forced my way into the next lane only to travel three car lengths before coming to another halt. Angrily, I watched the lane I just vacated begin to move, the car I'd been sitting in front of passing me and disappearing from view. Teetering perilously on the edge of a tantrum, I was preparing to change lanes again when all movement ground to a stop and I threw my hands into the air. The beginnings of a sulk closing in on me from all sides until cars again began to move in the next lane. Thoughts of escape promptly turned to frustration as everything quickly came to another standstill.

The tangible vibration and sound of an incredibly loud, annoyingly persistent bass suddenly assailed me, and I cast unbelieving eyes on the car that had pulled up beside me. My jaw clenched so tight it began to hurt. Rap music was tied with Al Sharpton as the first thing I would eradicate from the Earth if I were ever declared Empress. How do people listen to that shit? And why did I have to be rudely subjected to it from another person's car when all I really wanted to do was get home and butter my muffin? It was a cruel world.

I waved to get Coolio's attention and leaned over to roll down the passenger side window. At first he looked at me as though I were an idiot, but shrugged and lowered his own window a crack.

"Could you turn that down, please?" I had to yell to make sure he heard me.

He gave me a blank look and rolled his window back up. A second later, the music stopped and I gave a nod of thanks. My eyes dropped to my open pants and I sighed as I buttoned them back up. The thrill was gone.

Suddenly, every window in the car started shaking violently from a fresh barrage of ghetto fabulous jams and I jumped a little in my seat, barely suppressing a startled yelp. In the distance, I could see traffic beginning to move, and I turned an irate look on my wannabe gangsta neighbor. Impulsively, I put the shitcar in reverse and backed up a few inches to get the correct angle. When I was in position, I slid across the dilapidated bench of my front seat and opened the passenger door a crack. Busta Rhymes was into his music and making a production of not looking in my direction, so I turned sideways and leveled a powerful kick into my open door. I was rewarded with the satisfying sound of crumpling metal and I reached out to pull my door closed, smiling at the enormous dent I had created in the superfly cherry red Monte Carlo.

He gaped at me in disbelief and I slid back over to sit behind the wheel, lighting a smoke and shooting him a smile. I watched with supreme amusement as he pounded on the window in a useless attempt to open his creased door. I couldn't hear what he was saying and didn't know how to read lips, but it wasn't hard to spot multiple variations of the word 'fuck'.

Am I a bigot? Hell no! Am I guilty of occasionally preying on cultural differences? I can't deny it, but then again, who isn't? If the situation had been reversed and I had pulled up next to Snoop Dogg blaring Frank Sinatra loud enough to be heard in the next county, do you think he would've had politically correct things to say about me? Grow up. It's sad fact of life but unfortunately, everyone is equally worthless. Including me.

The car ahead of me began to move, and I shot the Fresh Prince a happy wave as I pulled away. A few minutes later, the shitbox was up to speed and I took the next exit. Coming to the decision to give Stephanie a reprieve and visit the next person on my list, the only one I didn't consider a suspect and someone I was actually looking forward to seeing.

Joseph Vendito was a Sirico family capo and Gus's best friend, despite the obvious clashing of career choices. It was kinda funny when you thought about it, but Gus had lived in the same neighborhood pretty much his whole life. A middle class neighborhood that both the police force and the mob recruited heavily from. A little section of America that had grown up attending the same schools and churches, reaching adulthood yet remaining friends that opposed each other in the eyes of the law. Growing up with Gus, I had attended more than one wedding or event that had been populated with both cops and robbers. In fact, I called Joseph Vendito, Uncle Joey.

Joey owned a malt shop and, as a kid, I spent many an afternoon a fixture in his establishment. Frequently waiting there after school for Gus to come and pick me up, playing cards or dominoes with the goodfellas until he showed. I smiled fondly and goosed the accelerator a little, Joey had always been good for a sundae and I hoped he still was.

--------- The little malt shop was your typical family storefront business, and I had to put change into a meter to park on the street. I really needed to get a new car, my hands were so cold I had trouble separating the required coins, and afterward, I hurried down the sidewalk to get inside.

The door opened with an old fashioned chime and the interior was warmly inviting. Joey wasn't in view and the only people inside were two goons that I didn't recognize playing checkers near the back, and a guy about my age behind the counter who spoke to me.

"Can I help you?"

"Is Joey here?"

One of the goons stood up. "Who's asking?"

I turned to face him. "Maddie Ledoux."

"Is he expecting you?"

"No, but I'm sure he'll see me."

"Why is that?"

I pointed to a section of wall behind him. "That's me in those pictures."

The goon turned to look and then gave me a quick once over. "Wait here."

I nodded and walked over to look at the photos when he ambled through a door in the back. Pictures lined every available inch of wall space in the little shop, snapshots of the places and people that had touched Joey's life over the years. My eyes grew a little moist at the photographs of Gus, and I smiled at one Joey had taken himself of both of us together at my college graduation. There was one of me standing in a flight suit in front of my helicopter and another in police uniform when I graduated from the academy. Joey even had one of the rare photos taken of me in a dress when I was Maid of Honor at his daughter's wedding. I risked a quick glance around and swiftly wiped at my eyes when I was sure nobody was looking.

A voice boomed from behind me. "Maddie, get your ass over here and give me a squeeze."

I turned around and smiled widely. The dark featured Joey resembled Gus in a lot of ways, as both were huge, brawny men that were quick to laugh and cut up but fierce and dangerous if riled. Physically, I always felt like a dwarf around them, and mentally the pair of them had the ability to make me feel like little kid. I practically skipped across the room to enter his embrace.

"Hi, Joey," I mumbled into his chest.

He let me go and ruffled my hair affectionately. "I'm damn glad to see you. You've been keeping to yourself lately, been about six months if I remember right."

"Yeah, it has," I said apologetically.

"Well, let's get you fixed up so we can go in the back and shoot the shit," he said with a knowing smile and turned to the guy behind the counter. "Fix me up a double vanilla sundae."

"With two cherries," I added childishly, barely stifling the impulse to tug on his sleeve excitedly.

He chuckled. "You heard her. Two cherries."

The guy turned to prepare my ice cream and Joey leveled a look at the goon who had summoned him. "Jimmy, you best remember Maddie here. You give her any static the next time she comes in, and I'll let her crack your head for you."

Jimmy grinned brightly. "Oh, I'll remember her, Joey."

That got a rumbling laugh. "Ignore him, Maddie. He's new and doesn't know any better."

I smiled, feeling somewhat ridiculous at how easily I reverted into a little girl in the presence of certain people.

"Have you talked to Sophie lately?" Joey asked.

I shuffled my feet guiltily. "Not for a long time."

He gave me a disappointed look. "She'll be coming to town the day after tomorrow. You two should get together."

I nodded politely, it dawning on me that she was coming for Gus's funeral and I suddenly felt like an ass. Sophie was Joey's daughter and for a long time, the best friend I had in the world. That is until I developed a not so secret crush on her that, for reasons unknown, Gus and Joey found highly amusing. To my utter teenage humiliation, they used to go out of their way to tease me about it. As if growing up gay with a French name in a predominately Irish and Italian neighborhood wasn't tough enough, I had to endure anguish on the home front as well. It seemed that everyone but Sophie knew that I was sweet on her, and I carried on bravely, always hoping she would eventually fall under my spell. Alas, pray as I might, Sophie stayed straight, and when she got married I went into a spiteful, jealous, and completely irrational depression. After the wedding, I stubbornly let the distance and the years grow between us. I was a jerk.

"How long is she staying?"

"A couple of weeks, should I tell her to call you?" he asked with a hopeful lilt. "She misses you."

"I miss her too," I whispered and it was true. "Yeah, have her give me a ring."

"Great," he said, obviously pleased.

The soda jerk placed my sundae on the bar and I wasted no time, ignoring Joey's amused grin as I helped myself to several napkins. He turned to stride toward the door in back and I followed him.

"No interruptions, Jimmy," he said and waited for a nod before he closed the door behind us.

He led me to a withered card table and I sat down as he helped himself to a cup of coffee. He spent a few moments rummaging through a filing cabinet and finally took a seat across from me, placing a little metal box on the table in front of him.

He cleared his throat. "Billy called and filled me in."

"I figured he would."

"Then you should know that if you need anything, anything. All you have to do is ask. You have a lot of friends."

I nodded. I knew what he meant. "What's the story on Sabrina DiCarlo, Joey? I'm guessing Gus had a line on her."

He leaned back in his chair. "If he did he was playing it close to the vest. Old man Sirico would love to get his hands on her."

"I got a version of why from the Binkowski's. What's the real story?"

"What did those idiots tell you?"

"That the DiCarlos were wiped out in vendetta. Supposedly, because Salvotore promoted his daughter to head of the family."

He grunted. "That's nonsense and if Sirico had a daughter half as smart as Sabrina, she'd already be in charge."

"So what's the scoop?"

"It was an old feud. Back in the sixties, Sirico and DiCarlo were good friends until they both courted the same girl. She married DiCarlo and the old man never got over it. Relations between the two families were strained but it didn't fall apart until Sirico's oldest son, Danny, fell into lust with Sabrina."

My eyebrows climbed. "Really?"

"Yeah, that was the catalyst."

"How so?"

"Danny was the kind who thought the world existed because he let it and couldn't believe that the girl didn't want him.

"I can buy into that."

"Tensions escalated due in large part to the fact that DiCarlo landed a series of big money deals that some speculate Sabrina had a hand in. It bugged the shit out of the old man, but the fire didn't blossom until Sal whacked Danny."

This was news and my eyes widened in surprise. "Salvotore killed Sirico's son?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Because Danny was an arrogant prick with a mean temper. When he couldn't win Sabrina over with his charm he decided to take her by force."

My temper started to rise. "He raped her?"

Joey shook his head. "No, but not many doubt that he would have if Salvotore hadn't shown up. You see, Sabrina lived on the estate and Danny broke into her room. The word is he had beat her up pretty bad by the time her father walked in on it. He emptied a gun into that kid, and Sirico got his son's balls in a paper bag the next day. The rest of the body was never found."

"Jesus, he had to know that would start a war."

"Sabrina was his only child. I would've done the same thing if I'd been in his shoes."

"Did you take part in the vendetta?"

"No, most of the capos abstained and the old man brought soldiers in from out of town. It caused a rift, but the majority of us sympathized with DiCarlo and refused to rally around the banner."

"What happened to Sal's wife?"

"Cancer got her a few years earlier."

"So he takes it in the neck and his daughter disappears into thin air?"

Joey chuckled. "That's what everybody has been led to believe."

I leaned forward in curiosity. "There's more to it?"

"The DiCarlo family holdings were vast, and many of them are still in operation today."

I blinked. "Huh? Who runs the business?"

"That's the kicker. No one knows," he said with a shrug. "Some think Sabrina does."

"I don't get it."

"DiCarlo was a tough old cob with a loyal family. After Danny took the dirt nap his operation disappeared almost overnight. The captains and soldiers melted into the woodwork. The only casualty of the Sirico vendetta was Sal himself. There were no spoils to gloat over."

"So the family and all the personnel and holdings just vanished?"

"Yep. Sirico has been battling a ghost family for the last six years. In fact, the old man has been losing ground, and every effort he's made to uncover his competition has turned out to be a waste of time. On occasion he's nabbed a bagman, but they can't reveal anything because they don't know anything. Each and every one of them were hired blind for a single job and never used again."

"How did Salvotore die?"

"He waited at home until they came for him and shot himself before he could be taken."

"Hmmm. So you think Sabrina is out there running an invisible syndicate?"

"That's what I think, yes. Sal wasn't a fool and neither was his daughter. He knew a vendetta was coming and he sacrificed himself to avoid it."

"Did you ever meet her?"

"Sabrina?"

"Yeah."

"Once, when she was a little girl."

"Are there any pictures of her?"

"Sirico has several of her as a child, and those are the only ones anybody has been able to find. The family photos disappeared with her and there are no yearbook photos or the like, she didn't even have a drivers license."

"Impressive. So what was Gus's angle?"

"I really don't know, Maddie," he said. "Like I said, he was playing it close to the vest."

"I've already talked to the Binkowskis and Sarah Caruso. Anything I should be aware of regarding the ones I haven't seen yet?"

"Nothing you probably don't already know."

I dug through my jacket to produce the list. "Billy gave me the story on the Frank Brothers but I don't have any info on Anabel Hamilton."

He smiled deviously. "I don't know anything about her."

I eyed him carefully. It was the same look he always got when he had one over on me. "Why do I suddenly smell a rat?"

He made a show of sniffing the air in front of him and chuckled. "I don't smell anything."

I scowled, having played this game many times in the past. I knew from experience that needling him for answers would only end up amusing him and frustrating me. Instead, I employed a tactic that had a fifty-fifty chance. "Please, Joey," I said demurely while beaming my best smile.

He rolled his eyes. "That stopped working years ago, Maddie."

"Fine," I said irritably and he laughed.

I pointed to the box he had set on the table. "What's that?"

His chuckles tapered off and he assumed a grave expression. "I've known you a long time, kiddo," he said slowly, pushing the box in my direction. "You have a temper problem and tend to act before you think things through. I also know that your name is at the top of a lot of shit lists. Use your head and don't sign your name to anything."

I let him finish and reached out to open the lid. His message landed on understanding ears. I pulled the holstered gun from the box and inspected it. A stainless steel Kimber Ultra Carry in my caliber. A miniature companion to the gun I was already packing.

A set of keys hit the table in front of me. "And lose that hunk of shit you drive around in, too many people know it's yours. There's a loaner parked out back. Leave me the keys and I'll have yours towed away," he paused and thumped the table with the palm of his hand. "Take off those damn sunglasses and listen to me now, Maddie."

I did as I was told.

"The people watching you are gonna be waiting for a corpse to turn up. It's okay for them to know who did it; you just can't let them prove it. Get my meaning?"

"Yes."

"If you end up in the pokey, that damn Gus will talk God into letting him return just long enough for him to kick my ass." He looked away suddenly and when his eyes found mine again, they were shining. "Damn," he said quietly, bringing a hand up to wipe away the moisture. "I'm gonna miss that gruff old bastard."

I tried really hard but the tears started anyway. I couldn't stop it and both hands came up to cover my face. I heard the scrape of a chair as Joey rose to his feet and soon a comforting hand landed on my shoulder as he seated himself next to me.

"Ya know, I remember a little tomboy sitting in my shop with bloody knees and a broken arm, trying so hard not to cry she got pissed off at herself," he said with a chuckle. "Everybody cries, Maddie. I even caught Gus at it a couple of times."

I came out of hiding and rubbed at my eyes. "Really?"

"You bet. Augustus had a big heart, although like you, he kept it under wraps."

"I never saw Gus cry."

"Well honey, you weren't around when he lost his wife. The man was a zombie for a long time after that. It wasn't until you came along that I stopped worrying about him. You gave him a reason to carry on, Maddie."

"I did?"

"Yes, you did. Gus wasn't the expressive sort but you gotta know you meant the world to him. That man cried a river when you went off to fly in the war. He must've aged twenty years in the time you were gone. He rarely slept and when awake he was glued to the television or radio, praying to Christ he would never hear your name."

The tears started again and I choked. "I never knew that."

"When he talked about you one could almost see a ray of sunshine coming from his ass," he said softly. "You were born his brother's daughter but you were his little girl and he was very, very proud of you."

All of my control fled and I flung myself into Joey's arms. The heartsick tears that I had hoped to keep private falling unhindered. He didn't rush me and waited patiently for me to subside.

"Maddie, you don't have to follow through with this," he whispered. "All you have to do is point a finger and the wise guys will take out the trash. Gus was one of their own, so the PD will sweep it all under the rug."

I buried my face in his shoulder and considered his words, unexpectedly doubting my own ability to kill someone in cold blood. Would I be breaking the promise I made to myself if I played the jury and turned the execution over to others? There was no doubt that the men Joey would send were capable of a cruelty I knew I didn't possess. I decided to let the issue ride and cross that bridge when the time came.

"I'll get back to you on that, okay?"

"Alright."

I gave him a squeeze and lifted my lips to his cheek before extracting myself from his lap with a sigh. "Thanks, Joey."

"Anytime, kiddo," he said with a little smile as I stuffed the gun in my jacket pocket, picked up the keys to my new wheels, and left him the keys to my shitcar. "When Sophie calls, I don't wanna be getting a bad report on you, ya hear?"

I chuckled. "You won't"

"Good," he said cheerfully, rising from his seat.

I leaned in to give him another hug and turned to walk for the door in back, pausing on a thought and turning back in his direction. "Joey, what did Sabrina DiCarlo look like?"

He ran a hand over his hair. "God, Maddie, I only saw her the one time and she didn't stand as tall as my waist."

"Hair color, eye color?"

He lit up. "Her eyes. They were so blue they could appear almost white. She was a pretty girl."

I nodded. "Okay, I'll be in touch."

"Maddie," he said before I could get through the door. "Gus wasn't the only one who loves you."

A smile of the kind that I was woefully unfamiliar with made itself known. "I know, Uncle Joe," I said and suddenly uncomfortable, I hurried through the door.

The weather assaulted me immediately, and I was enthusiastically grateful for the little Grand Am parked a short distance away that undoubtedly had a working heater. I looked at my watch as I sat down behind the wheel and started the car. It was late enough in the day to expect the Frank Brothers to be at work and I decided to pay them a visit.

The skinny from Billy informed me that the brothers owned a nightclub on the outskirts of the projects that was nothing more than a front for drugs and prostitution. I shook my head as I pulled out onto the street, wondering where a couple of pimps fit into the scheme of things.

--------- I chose to park in the alley behind the club and when I got out, I undid my belt so I could accommodate the roscoe Joey had given me. Holstering the little pistol at the small of my back and keeping big brother on my right hip. It was beginning to get dark but I kept my sunglasses on anyway, I found it an advantage to conceal my eyes when dealing with people. It tended to make them nervous.

I circled the building that was nothing more than a converted warehouse sitting in the middle of a demilitarized neighborhood. The entrance was locked so I looked around for a buzzer or at least a bell and came up empty. Finally, I knocked loudly on the door, waiting almost two minutes before starting up again. I was startled when in the middle of my pounding an eye level slot in the door opened abruptly.

"What?" came the harsh inquiry.

I dug my ID out of my jacket and held it up so he could see it. "I'm looking for the Frank Brothers."

A long silence and I put my ID back into my jacket and cast a bored look at the eyes peering out at me from within.

"Why?" he asked finally.

"I wanna sell 'em some Amway."

"Fuck off," he said, slamming the slot closed with a thud.

I sighed, and pounded on the door again. When the slot opened this time, I was ready.

"Look bitch, don't make," he shut up when the barrel of my gun protruded through the slot to make contact with his forehead.

"Maybe you didn't hear me," I said. "I'd like to see the Frank Brothers, now."

"Damn, woman," he stuttered. "All you had to do was say so."

I heard the locks being turned back and the door opened a crack. "Put your hands through the slot and pull the door open."

He did what he was told and I stepped in quickly, moving a safe distance away from the door. "Close it and lead the way. Keep space between us."

Pulling open the door had trapped him behind it and I waited for him to reveal himself and pass me in the narrow hallway. Once he was in front of me, I holstered my gun and followed him inside. Emerging from the hall revealed one big room with a dance floor, a bar and tables set up off to one side.

My guide pointed toward a group of people congregating at the far side of the room. "They're over there."

"Thank you," I said, moving in that direction.

There were several people lounging around and a few girls were goofing off on the dance floor, but the building was pretty much deserted. I couldn't help but notice the attention directed at me as others became aware of my presence. Most of the glances were of an offended nature; even a few of the girls shot me looks of revulsion. I almost had to laugh.

How many black girls could walk into a club in America and get the looks being directed at me? Odds are that no one would look at her just because of her race. She certainly wouldn't be getting the attention I was now receiving based solely on the fact that I was white. It's kinda funny that racism is a word still often spouted. Funny because whites were increasingly the focus of it and ever more seldom the cause of it.

As I drew closer, I guessed the Franks to be the twins with a woman on each arm. They eyed me with interest as I came abreast of their table and stopped.

The Frank on the right leaned over to whisper in his brother's ear and looked me over carefully. "You've got the goods but the harem is full, Cinderella," he said, instigating a round of laughter at my expense.

I smiled and took a seat across from them. "I'm not looking for a job but I could use a drink. Have one of your sluts fetch me a Guinness."

Their smiles faded.

"What country you think this is?" Frank on the right spoke. Apparently, Frank on the left was a mute.

I shrugged. "Do you have 'Danny Boy' on the jukebox? This rap shit makes my teeth hurt."

Frank on the right leaned over to speak to one of the girls and then gestured them all away. A few seconds later, we were alone and the jukebox was silenced. "You're riding the wire, lady. What the fuck you want?"

I flipped my ID on the table and slid it across to him. He wiggled his fingers in the air and I didn't have to turn around to know that a gun was pointed at the back of my head.

"I hope your woman likes tongue service because if the guy behind me twitches, they'll be sending out a search party to find what's left of your Johnson."

He went perfectly still and studied me carefully, finally reaching out to nudge his brother. Frank on the left slowly leaned over and looked under the table, he came up a second later and gave a nod of confirmation.

Frank on the right gave me another long look and finally cast his eyes to my ID, spending all of a second with it and sliding it back to my side of the table. "Tell me a joke, Cinderella."

I smiled. It was a game of brinkmanship. "What kind of joke?"

"Something you might think I'll find funny."

I raised an eyebrow. The Franks were cool customers. I had a .45 leveled at the guy's crotch and he was brave enough to issue a dare. If I backed down now there was a good chance things would go bad for me.

"Alright, this little Irish midget walks into a bar and orders a beer,"

Frank on the right leaned forward with a little smile.

", He gets his beer and asks the bartender to point out the toughest son of a bitch in the room. The barkeep points to the Marine sitting at the end of the bar so the midget downs his beer and slams the empty bottle on the counter. He wipes his chin, hops up on the bar and waddles over to kick the Marine in the face and proceeds to just beat the hell out of him,"

A little chuckle from both.

",Every other day for the next week the midget comes and pulls the same act. Always having a beer and beating the crap out of the toughest guy in the place. Finally fed up, the bartender has his brother the zookeeper smuggle a gorilla into the bar and locks him in the bathroom. Sure enough, the midget returns the next day, orders his beer and asks the bartender who the toughest guy in the room is. The midgets slams down his beer and stomps into the bathroom,"

Another chuckle.

", As soon as the door closed the walls started shaking so hard pictures began fall to the floor and the bartender covers his ears to drown out the screams coming from the bathroom. Half an hour later, the door opens and the midget stumbles out covered with cuts and bruises, his clothes in tatters and barely able to walk. The bartender is amazed, unable to believe the little guy is still alive. The midget takes a deep breath and says,"

Eyes widened expectantly.

",When that nigger wakes up, tell him his fur coat is in the toilet."

I couldn't help it; I started to laugh even though the looks I was getting from across the table were less than friendly. Finally, Frank on the right began to smile, eventually emitting a very reluctant chuckle and waving off the guy behind me. When he started to walk away, I holstered my own gun.

Frank on the right shook his head amusedly. "You a bigot, Cinderella?"

"No more than you are."

"Then you're lucky I'm not."

"The ink is black and the page is white. Together we learn to read and write."

He laughed. "You gotta be either crazy stupid or scary smart, lady."

"Probably a little of both," I said with a smile. "And my name is Maddie."

"Yeah, I looked at your ID. You're Gus Ledoux's kid."

I nodded.

"Well, what can I do for you?" he asked amiably. "Gus usually comes by in person to give us a hard time. He's gettin' lazy to be sending his kid instead."

He suddenly had all of my attention. "Gus was murdered the night he had you over to dinner."

Two sets of eyes widened in surprise. "Say what?" Frank on the left finally spoke.

Acting wasn't their forte and I began to mentally cross them off my list of possible suspects. "Someone shot him not long after the festivities wrapped up."

"You're shittin' us?"

"Wish I was."

Frank on the right leaned back hard in his chair and threw a disbelieving look at his brother. "Goddamn."

I was pretty sure but I had to ask anyway. "Do either of you own a gun?"

Two condescending looks.

"Alright, dumb question. Do either of you own a .357 magnum?"

One shake of the head and one nod.

"I'll need to take it with me."

Frank on the left stood up. "No word of where you got it?"

"Done."

"Am I gonna get it back?"

"Is it legal?"

"Gimme a break."

"Then I can't guarantee you'll get it back, but I'll see what I can do."

"Fair enough," he said and turned to walk away.

"I take it we're suspects?"

"Five minutes ago you were."

He nodded. "We've known Gus a long time, we knew better than to fuck around with him."

"So what were you guys doing at his house the night he was killed?"

"He invited us, wanted to know about some old business we had with Sal DiCarlo."

"Wanna tell me what you told him?"

"Will anything I say come back to haunt me or my brother in an official capacity?"

"No."

"More importantly, will anything I say be used against us in an unofficial capacity?"

"No."

"We always took Gus at his word and he never let us down. Can we assume the same of you?"

"Yes."

He pursed his lips thoughtfully in appraisal. "Alright," he said after a moment. "The business that my brother and I currently manage was purchased from the DiCarlo family."

"Is that a fact?"

"DiCarlo was attempting to legitimize. He found pharmaceuticals to be distasteful."

"So he sold it to you?"

"Yeah. That is, after he beat Sirico out of it."

I leaned back in my chair. "Tell me more."

He shrugged. "DiCarlo and Sirico were always at each others throats. Don't ask me why."

"Is Sirico aware you guys are running a network he coveted?"

"Hell no," he said, shaking his head back and forth passionately.

"How could he not know?"

"When we bought it from Sal, he provided the education that enables us to keep our involvement a secret."

"Education?"

He chuckled. "Would you believe that my brother and I attended a five-day seminar before acquisition and had people on call for several months to answer any questions we might have?"

I smiled. "You're kidding me."

"Nope. Sal had his shit together."

"No doubt about that," I said. "But how did you keep it under wraps on the other end? Sirico had to have contacts with supply if he and DiCarlo were both jockeying for it."

"The cartel won't betray DiCarlo. He has a long arm. Even today."

"You still have contact with the DiCarlo family?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Keep talkin'."

"DiCarlo may be dead but someone's still running the show. We have to annually donate a certain percentage of proceeds to charity. It's different each time, and we get a note telling us which one. It was a stipulation we had to agree to in order to obtain the contract. We've been late twice over the years and both times got a visit from the scariest damn dude I've ever seen."

"You got a name?"

"Fuck no, and if I had one there ain't no way I'd repeat it."

"What's he look like then?"

He shook his head determinedly. "No way you get info on this. The guy's a boogeyman. Just leave it at that."

I sighed and gave up. "Alright, tell me about DiCarlo's daughter, Sabrina."

"Never met her."

"Ever talk to her?"

"Nope, we only dealt with Sal."

I grunted and reached for my smokes. By the time I had fired it up, the other Frank returned and placed a revolver on the table in front of me as he took up his seat.

"So what are your names?" I asked, mainly out of curiosity.

"I'm Bobby," Frank on the right said. "And my brother is Robby."

"Bob and Rob?" I said with a grin.

They both hit me with identical shrugs.

"Did you guys know any of the people Gus invited over that night?"

"I knew Woody from law school," Bob said. "And we both knew Joe Vendito by reputation. Never seen any of the others before."

"Law school?"

Bobby nodded. "Robby has a degree in Economics."

I grinned and crushed out my smoke. "Thanks, you've given me a lot to think about," I said as I stood from my chair and picked up the magnum.

They stood as well. "We're damn sorry to hear about Gus," Bobby said.

"Thanks," I said uncomfortably, stuffing the revolver in my jacket and turning away from the table.

"Ledoux," Robby spoke up and I turned a look over my shoulder. "It isn't wise to go looking for ghosts."

"I believe you," I said and turned to make my way out of the building.

III

I wanted to grab something to eat on the way home and decided to stop at the first fast food place that popped up. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a Burger King but I was hungry enough to pull in anyway. Their fries tasted like salted strips of a Maxi-Pad but their burgers weren't half bad.

I pulled into the drive-thru lane and ended up with two cars ahead of me, so I rolled the window down a crack and fumbled for my cigarettes. A little unsettled at the cool breeze that wafted into the cozy confines of the car. Having a heater for all of a few hours had already spoiled me. I vowed to never go without one again. I didn't realize how cold my feet actually were until they started to hurt as they began to warm up.

My smoke was down to the filter when I pulled up to the menu and rolled down the window all the way to place my order. A last second sighting of a 'Lord of the Rings' light-up glass goblet deal prompted me to amend my selection and I excitedly sped around to the window to pick up my food and new toy.

The geek waiting to take my money had a face that was nothing short of an explosion of adolescent splendor. He had several whiteheads that were on the verge of erupting and I cringed at the thought of pimple pus somehow making its way onto my food. I hoped fervently that he wouldn't open my bag and I abruptly decided not to ask for extra ketchup lest he be the one to handle it. He opened the window and spoke with a squeaky voice.

"Four-twenty, please."

I handed him a five that he had to reach for twice because he was busy staring at my tits. "Can I have my goblet now?"

"Uh, sure."

I rolled my eyes when he turned away and a second later he thrust the change and my new play pretty out the window. I stuffed the change in a jacket pocket quickly and examined my purchase. I was immediately disappointed. I didn't give a frog's fat ass about Frodo. When he returned to hand me my food, I extended the unwanted glass back out at him.

"Frodo sucks, do you have any of the others?"

"Uh, yeah. Which one do you want?"

"Arwen."

"Lemme look."

I nibbled on my fries while I waited for him to come back, trying valiantly to pretend they really didn't taste like absorbent cotton. Finally, he arrived with goblet in hand and I grinned; Liv Tyler got my motor running.

"Thanks," I said brightly and shot him a wave as I pulled away.

I know it's ridiculous, but chicks get excited about the most trivial and stupidest of things. Regrettably, I'm no exception to the rule.

The burger didn't last much more than a block and I even polished off the rest of the fries by the time I parked my ride in front of the three-story building I kept a small office in. The lobby was already closed so I had to use my key to get in and trudged off in the direction of the stairwell.

My office was on the second floor and situated in the far corner. It wasn't much, but the price was right. The building itself was over sixty years old and primarily housed employees from small state sponsored agencies or nonprofit organizations. The dÃ©cor was typical of an aging and mostly abandoned government building; cinderblock heavily painted in beige accompanied by the dusty smell of times well past their prime.

The door to my office didn't have anything as romantic as 'Maddie Ledoux - Private Eye' stenciled on the glass, and I didn't have a gorgeous secretary, although I often considered the latter to be a grave oversight. The 229 in white paint at the top of the doorframe was the only thing that made my door different from any of the others in the building. I fumbled for the keys and stepped into the nerve center of my bordering on bankrupt private enterprise.

I found a manila envelope on the floor and I picked it up, correctly guessing it to be a ballistics report from Billy. My eyes skimmed over it tiredly as I walked across the room to sit down behind my desk. Eventually, I set it aside and my gaze strayed to the phone, I sighed at the number of messages blinking for my attention. No small amount of wisdom went into the decision to listen to the calls in the morning, that way I could be good and cranky by the time I was ready to start my day. Instead, I closed my eyes and sank into my chair, going over the day's events until they slowly faded away.

--------- I always woke up horny and today was no exception. It was my theory that long periods of time without nookie was a lot like playing with Legos. You can stack one on top of the other, but the higher you go, the more unstable the structure becomes. At this point, I was the Leaning Tower of Pisa and I either needed to get laid or sequester myself away and pet the kitty until my head caved in. Thankfully, the phone rang before I could dwell on it any further.

"Ledoux."

"Did you sleep in the office?" Woody asked.

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just woke up."

He grunted into the phone. "Alright, we need to get together later today. Can you meet me at Abernathy's on 35th and Central around four? We need to decide on a few things."

My throat constricted and it took me a moment to answer. Abernathy's was a funeral home. "I'll be there."

"Good. I got a call from Glen Porter."

My eyes narrowed. Porter was the Chief of Police and a true son of a bitch. The only thing we had in common was a mutual hatred for each other. "And?"

"We need to get Gus's personal things from the station. I thought you might you want to do it."

I chewed on my lip. Wanting to do it and wanting to avoid it. Afraid that I might embarrass myself if confronted with the emotions of Gus's friends and coworkers.

"Maddie?"

"I'll take care of it."

"Good. I think he would've wanted that."

I closed my eyes. "Yeah."

"Are you sure you're okay, Maddie?"

"I'm coping. Look, I need to get going."

A sigh. "Alright, I'll see you around four, right?"

"I'll see you then."

"Bye, Maddie."

I hung up the phone slowly and sat silently for several minutes, building up the courage to face the day. I needed coffee and a shower but decided to listen to my messages first. The calls consisted of the usual assortment of people wanting advice for free and a few potential clients. I deleted all of them and headed for home, wondering what had possessed me to spend the night in the office.

--------- After a shower that included a rather intense orgasm, I dressed myself and called Billy over a cup of coffee. He didn't have anything new for me and I told him I'd be by the station around lunchtime to drop off a gun for ballistics and to go through Gus's things.

The next call was to Sarah Caruso, I was more than a little excited about the prospect of having dinner with her and waited through five rings for an answer.

"Hi, this is Sarah."

"It's Maddie."

"Hey there," she said brightly. "I was hoping you'd call. Are we still on for tonight?"

"Looking forward to it."

"Me too. How does seafood sound?"

"Sounds great."

"Wanna meet me there or do you want me to pick you up?"

I considered. "Come pick me up. I'm on the corner of Lincoln and Wellington."

"Is seven good?"

"Perfect."

"I'll be there with bells on, I can't wait."

"Me either."

She giggled. "See you then, Maddie."

"Okay."

"Bye bye."

"Bye."

Jesus, she had a sexy voice. I disconnected with nipples hard enough to cut glass, and seriously considered the virtues of another shower. Reluctantly, I decided it against it. Sarah Caruso was understandably enamored of me and if I played my cards right, I might at least get a little heavy petting for dessert. Of course, this thought prompted several minutes of wanton contemplation that I had to forcibly extract myself from. There were things to do.

First on my list was to pay a visit to the mysterious Anabel Hamilton. I grabbed my keys and made my way to the car with this destination in mind. Anabel only lived about ten minutes away, so it turned out to be a quick trip.

The address led me to a trendy little neighborhood of street front businesses and brownstones. Not half bad. I was curious to know why Joey had been so cheerfully uninformative about her the day before since it was obvious he knew her and his attitude told me he in no way considered her a suspect.

Anabel's house had a one-car driveway that was empty so I helped myself. Like many older homes within the inner city, the brownstone was within a cumshot of the houses on either side. You couldn't fart without your neighbor hearing it. Once upon a time, before the arrival of burb's and baby boomers the neighborhood had probably been home to the somewhat prosperous. It was still well cared for.

I walked up to the door and rang the bell, waiting patiently as I discreetly dug high-riding panties out of my crack. An answer wasn't forthcoming and I was preparing to knock again when interrupted by a shrill voice from next door.

"Annie's at work."

I turned to find an impressively plump, Godzilla ugly, middle-aged woman with rollers in her hair and wearing a housecoat staring at me from her front porch.

"And where is that, ma'am?"

"Where is what?"

"Where does Annie work?"

"Who's asking?"

The woman's voice sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard. "I'm Maddie Ledoux," I said, digging out my ID and holding it up.

"I can't see that from over here."

I sighed and started to walk in her direction.

"Use the sidewalk, I don't want you to damage my flowers," she shrieked.

I cringed and took in the little row of winter dead plants that separated us. It wouldn't take a gazelle to avoid stepping on them.

"My husband planted those for me, he'd be very disappointed if anything happened to them,"

I drowned her out and walked around the long way, coming up her little drive and stopping a safe distance away.

", He works twelve hours a day and,"

Looking at the woman and listening to her it was no wonder her husband worked such long hours. He probably volunteered for the weekends as well. Poor bastard.

", Hey, are you a cop or something?"

"In a manner of speaking, ma'am," I said, again holding up my ID. "I'm a private investigator. Would you mind telling me where I could find Annie?"

"Is she in trouble or something?"

Give me strength. "No, I just need to talk to her."

She eyed me warily. "What about?"

"I'm afraid that doesn't concern you," I said, quickly tiring of being in the woman's presence. "But I assure you she's not in any trouble. I just have a few questions she might be able to help me with."

She huffed and much to my disgust, a wiener dog came out of the house to stand behind a pair of legs that resembled two pillars of chewed bubblegum. The vile little creature began barking at me in a tone just as piercing as its owner's.

I hated dogs.

I hated wiener dogs most of all.

"Who do you think you are walking up here and telling me,?"

I was confused. Just where did I go wrong? Had I not been polite? The woman's blathering and the barking dog was too much to handle. I took a step forward.

"Look, lady," I snarled. "Just tell me where Anabel works before I fuckstart your head and punt your dumbass dog into traffic."

Her mouth closed with an audible collision of teeth and she looked at me as if teetering on the hysterical. I suddenly felt a real pang of sympathy for her husband. He deserved a medal or at least a night of freaky sex with a group of teenage girls.

"Tell me, goddamn it," I growled. "Your fuckin' mutt is pissing me off."

"Annie owns the video place just down the street," she said, pointing in the general direction and quickly bringing the hand back to her chest protectively as if afraid I would bite it off while it was extended.

"Thank you, ma'am," I said sarcastically. "You've been very helpful."

She didn't reply and I didn't really expect her to. I started in the direction of my car but changed course, the store was only a block or so down the street and it wouldn't kill me to walk. I lit up a smoke and gladly left the yelping dog and its offensive owner behind to console each other.

The cigarette lasted until I was within sight of my objective. 'Rocket Video' was a little shop emblazoned with painted glass windows depicting various types of spacecraft. It was cute in a girlish sort of way.

The door opened with the soft rattle of bells that hung in its path and I stepped into a warm but cluttered room. My eyes instantly pinpointed the little but supremely alluring brunette behind the counter talking spiritedly with a customer. She didn't look over when I entered and I hid behind a shelf of movies so I could study her unnoticed.

Anabel was gorgeous in a way that made my knees go weak. The eyes behind a cute pair of slightly tinted glasses were an expressive hazel. Her features soft yet defined, almost Elven in appearance and crowned by thick, dark brown hair that she wore loose around her shoulders. I'd be the first to admit that I'm a shallow person in a lot of areas, but she attracted me in a way that I can only describe as pure. Sex was never far from the forefront of my mind and strangely, it suddenly seemed inappropriate to indulge in the fantasies I usually immersed myself in when confronted by a beautiful woman. Anabel was too good for that and I hadn't so much as exchanged a word with her. For the second time in two days, I wondered if I was in love.

Watching her interact with the customer had me mesmerized. With an easy grace that I could only envy, she smiled and giggled flirtatiously with the elderly man who clearly ate up every second of the attention. I was jealous.

Eventually, it appeared that the old man was gearing up to leave and I was at a loss. What if she didn't like me? Thoughts like this were as alien to me as fellatio and it was bewildering. I usually didn't give a shit what people thought about me, but this was somehow different. I also didn't buy into instant karma yet that was exactly what the moment felt like.

The bells from the front door jingled and I looked over to see the man exit the store. My eyes strayed back to Anabel and she looked around curiously, obviously aware that someone else was present although she couldn't see me. It was time to come out of hiding and I ran my hands over my hair, wishing I had a mirror and willing to piss on a sparkplug for a breath mint.

I picked a movie off the shelf at random and approached her as casually as I thought I could pull off. Surprisingly, she looked in my direction and gasped in apparent recognition. It wasn't the reaction I had been hoping for and I groped for an opening.

"Uh, Hi."

She started to blush. "Hi, Maddie."

My brow wrinkled. "I'm sorry, have we met? I can't imagine not remembering you."

She bashfully studied the countertop. "No, but we were supposed to."

"We were? When was this?"

"The other night," she said, raising sympathetic eyes. "I heard about Gus. I'm so sorry."

"Me too." I faltered for a moment but quickly regained my focus. "But I don't understand."

Her gaze returned to its timid but intense investigation of the counter. "I guess Gus didn't tell you,"

"Tell me what?"

She sighed and took a deep breath. "Uhm, he invited me over the other night thinking you'd be there. He was, uh, well, he was matchmaking."

I hid a frown for her benefit. Long ago, I made Gus promise to refrain from playing Cupid. His first and only attempt had merely resulted in adding another person to the long line of people that would like to see me in Hell with a broken back. It had been disastrous. No wonder Joey had been so evasive yesterday, he was an accomplice.

"Uhm, maybe we can pretend this didn't happen and,"

Shit. She thought my silence was a rejection. "No, it's okay. I think Gus did me a huge favor."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"Really. Would you like to have lunch tomorrow?"

"Yes," she said, bouncing a little on her feet but then scowling slightly. "I can't leave the shop though. Would it be okay to get together here and order in?"

"Sure. I'd like that."

She beamed a smile that made me feel faint. "Great!"

I smiled back at her, more charmed than I cared to admit at her exuberance. "I," My response was cut short by the door chimes and I turned to see a group of ladies enter the store.

Anabel frowned disappointedly but then brightened. "When you come by tomorrow, I'll lock the doors," she whispered.

One of the ladies sauntered up behind me and I felt cornered. "Okay," I said but managed a sly grin. "I guess I'll let you get back to work."

"Noon."

"Huh?"

"I have lunch at noon."

I giggled. "Okay."

"Are you gonna rent that?"

I looked stupidly at the box I had picked up, having completely forgotten I had it and why I grabbed it in the first place. I felt heat rise to my face. Could I be a bigger dork? Like I would really rent 'Kama Sutra'.

"Uhm, no," I said lamely. "I didn't realize I had it. I'll put it back."

I got a small chuckle and I mustered a weak smile. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Maddie."

I gave her an embarrassed wave and hurried over to put the ridiculous movie back where I found it. I offered another smile before I slipped outside and got one in return. A few strides up the sidewalk; I caught myself close to riding a hesitant wave of euphoria. A possible love life? Who would've figured? I sure didn't.

--------- Sobriety encompassed me as I traveled across town. The worst part of my day was ahead of me and my apprehension was growing. When I arrived at the station, I parked the car and smoked half a pack of cigarettes before I gathered enough courage to call Billy and let him know I was coming in. It took another ten minutes after that to actually leave the car and cross the street.

He was waiting for me just inside the doors and I felt a wave of relief.

"Hey, Maddie. You got something for me?"

"Yeah," I said, digging Robby Frank's revolver out of my jacket. "I'd be surprised if it matches, and I'd like to have it back if possible."

"I'll give it a go. Where did you get it?"

"Can't say."

"Alright," he agreed easily and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "Porter's here, I'll try and run interference."

I rolled my eyes. A confrontation was inevitable but I knew Billy would delay it as long as possible. "Thanks."

"I let the guys know to give you some space and I gathered up some boxes for you. They're in his office. Take all the time you need."

I gave him a desperately grateful look.

"You ready?"

I nodded and he led me to the elevator. We rode up three floors in silence and, not for the first time, I marveled at what a smart and deceptively sensitive man Billy was. He didn't feel the need to fill the quiet with conversation but he stood close, relaying to anyone who might notice exactly where his allegiance stood. He gave me distance and respect yet offered support by proximity. I had both friends and enemies among the police force. Principal among the enemy was Glen Porter.

Porter had thrown the book at me after my incident with Senator Hilary and he wasn't alone. Many of his colleagues, including the mayor and the governor, wanted nothing short of my public execution. I was an embarrassment to the police force. Only three months out of the academy and still probationary, I was considered a rookie hothead with obvious ties to Organized Crime who had brutalized a public servant for no apparent reason. Battle lines within the department were immediately drawn. One camp political, the other fraternal.

Up in arms over the treatment a beloved liberal Senator had suffered at my hands, the press portrayed me as a monster. Little if anything was ever mentioned about the Senator being drunk off his ass and driving around with a bottle of Jim Beam between his legs, and of course, it didn't matter. No one was going to pursue charges against him while he lay in a hospital bed unsure if he would ever walk again. It was only a matter of hours before I was suspended and standing before a judge.

Truth be known, I lost my temper. Lost it in a way I hope never to experience again. He pushed every one of my buttons and he did it with a sadistic glee, confident that a man of his stature didn't have to answer to anyone. He told me as much before he spit in my face. Until that moment, I'd never hurt or wanted to hurt anyone just for the hell of it. I didn't think I had it in me. Senator Hilary proved me wrong and if backup hadn't shown up and intervened, I probably would've killed the man.

I never admitted my loss of control; in fact I never reached the stand to testify in my own defense. After two months of suffering through a public lynching, the hoopla died quietly and without a word of apology. A hasty and clandestine backroom deal brokered my resignation and the dismissal of charges.

It turns out that the good Senator made a practice of recording conversations that, among other locations, included his car. Surprisingly, and I emphasize that word with heavy sarcasm, a tape of our encounter turned up in an evidence locker that had somehow been overlooked by the prosecution. The tape not only exonerated me to a certain extent, but also incriminated the Senator in a host of other, indiscretions. I was unimpressed and didn't need a recording to tell me he was and is a piece of shit. The charges against me couldn't be dropped fast enough. Unfortunately, my return to duty was out of the question, the department couldn't justify it to the public or to the press. I lost a career and the Senator can't walk without pain. I think I got the better part of the deal.

However, grudges within the department ran deep, and there were more than a few of the politically elite that would pounce on me the minute I fucked up, eager for the vindictive opportunity to settle perceived wrongs.

The elevator doors opened and Billy began the process of leading me toward Gus's office. I knew the way of course; I'd been there many times. It was Billy's way of providing me with a shield.

My worries turned out to be unfounded as we made our way across the room; no one approached me or commented. Most gave me silent nods of sympathy or a friendly wave. It struck me then, that even though there were those who might dislike me, almost no one disliked Gus. They had lost a brother, a man everyone respected, friends and enemies alike.

Billy came to a halt and opened the door to Gus's office. "No rush, Maddie. Give me a call when you're to ready to go and I'll come back down."

"Thanks, Billy," I said quietly as I slipped inside the room. He shut the door behind me and I was alone. I noted the closed blinds and the boxes stacked in front of the desk. Apparently, Billy had prepared for my arrival. Gus always kept the blinds open.

I circled the desk and plopped down in the chair with a thud. My eyes slowly roamed the little room, seeing things I previously didn't think twice about. Gus had a lot of awards and citations that decorated the walls. It wasn't the typical 'I love me' display, for it included his kids. There were framed photocopies of about every award or diploma Woody and I ever received. Pictures of us were on almost every surface that could support them. My eyes landed on one in particular.

It had been taken the evening of my thirteenth birthday. A couple had snapped a picture of us with a Polaroid as Gus carried me piggyback toward the parking lot. The man had simply walked up and handed Gus the photo.

Back then; I was relatively new to Gus and still very uncertain of things. Suddenly finding yourself living in a different country with a new family was a sluggish process to adjust to, especially for a child. He gave me everything I wanted or needed, but I was a little slow to come around. I soon learned that what I really needed and desperately wanted was a parent. The picture I was looking at was taken on the day I realized I had a father. It was the best day of my life.

Gus had rousted me out of bed and hurried me through a morning routine. Energized about something he would only hint at, I was spirited to the car and he drove a couple of hours, entertaining me the whole time with an endless stream of stupid jokes. Eventually we arrived at his surprise and I was awestruck. The State Fair was Disneyland for as far as I was concerned, I'd never seen anything like it. We spent the entire time going from ride to ride, only taking a break to stuff ourselves with junk food before rushing off to the next one. I chattered constantly, excitedly dragging him from one place to another until I was sure there was nothing left to do or see.

I fell asleep on the way home, having used up a month's supply of energy in one day. Awaking only when he tucked me into bed that night, still half asleep but remembering clearly when he said he loved me. It was the first time I ever heard the words, and I knew then that I had a home.

I could count the times he had said it on both my hands. He didn't say it very often, but each time he did, it only meant that much more. He didn't give his love lightly, but he loved all the way.

I was a lot like him and had adopted more than a few of his personality traits but this was one I could've passed on. I wish I could tell him now how much I love him. I wish I had told him more often. I hope he knew how much he meant to me. How much I miss him. I wish,

The tears came suddenly and I buried my head in my hands, waiting for them to run their course.

IV

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, carefully wrapping the more fragile stuff in newspaper when my cell phone rang. I'd been in the office a few hours, lost in memories and oblivious to anything but the task in front of me. I reluctantly dug the phone from my pocket.

"Maddie, Porter is on the way," Billy said.

"Great."

"Don't make it worse than it is."

Good advice. "I'll do my best, Billy. Thanks."

I put the phone back in my pocket and wiped at my face, the sobbing might have stopped, but I had no control over the tears that continued to leak from my eyes. It occurred to me suddenly that I didn't give a shit. He was my Dad and I loved him. I was allowed to grieve him, goddamn it.

A knock came at the door and I didn't bother to acknowledge it. He would come in anyway. Sure enough, he poked his head in a second later.

"Maddie," he said, entering the office and closing the door behind him.

I didn't look up. "Glen."

I could almost hear him stiffen at the casual address and I sighed, maybe I should try and heed Billy's advice.

He took a seat in the chair next to the door, crossing one leg over the other primly. He was a little man with feminine mannerisms and a bad comb over.

"I bet you think I'm here to bust your balls?"

I shrugged. It was what I expected.

"I'll admit the thought did cross my mind," he said amiably. "But that would only make me out to be the prick you think I am."

Gee, was that an opening or what? I clamped down on the impulse to jump all over the opportunity with both barrels. With an effort, I remained silent.

After a long pause, he chuckled. "I can't believe you passed that up."

I almost grinned. "Me either."

He laughed. "Alright, I'm not here to make any apologies," he said. "Your situation was a bad one with no simple solution, and the fact of the matter is, we were both wrong. You were wrong because you damn near beat that man to death, and no matter what he said or did, it was your job to enforce the law, not break it."

There was no arguing with that, and I gave a little nod of concession. It was the closest I've ever come to admitting any culpability.

"And I should have handled the situation differently. My job requires an unfortunate amount of political wrangling and I made some bad decisions. Regardless of what you may believe, that tape came as a surprise to me. If I had known about it sooner, I wouldn't have tolerated your crucifixion. "

It took me a moment to digest this. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because you deserve to hear it and because Gus would've wanted me to say it."

My eyebrows climbed into my bangs. "Thank you."

"You have fewer enemies than you realize, but you'd be remiss to think you have none," he said, rising to his feet. "Gus was damn good man, one of the best I've ever known and, believe it or not, I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

I could only manage a nod and he left the room without another word, closing the door behind him. The next few moments were spent in a somewhat stunned contemplation. It was like finding out that the turd you were served for dinner didn't taste all that bad. People were elusive creatures, just when you thought you had them pinned down; they always found a way to surprise you.

Another knock on the door.

"Come on in, Billy."

He entered warily and slowly took a seat in the same chair Glen had just exited. "Uh, everything okay?"

"Yeah."

He leaned over and studied me. "Jesus, Maddie," he sighed. "I told Woody I'd clean out the office. You didn't have to do this."

"That's not what Woody said. It doesn't matter though, it's been good for me."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

He reached into his jacket and retrieved a handkerchief. "You've got mascara all over."

I snatched it from his hand and rubbed at my face. "Shit. That damn Porter saw me like this."

I didn't have to look to see the smile. "How'd that go?"

"It turns out he's not the dickhead I thought he was."

"Well," he snickered. "There's something I thought I'd never hear you say."

I shrugged and turned to look at him. "Did I get it all?"

"Most of it."

I went back to work.

"Anything you want to tell me?" he asked. "I'll have ballistics for you tomorrow on the gun you gave me."

"That's fine, I doubt it's the one I'm looking for. And no, I don't have any real suspects yet. You got anything for me on Sabrina DiCarlo?"

"I got reams of stuff on Salvotore but next to nothing on her."

"A picture at least?"

"Nothing even remotely recent."

"Can I see what you have? Gus was poking around in the DiCarlo mystery."

"You looking for something in particular?"

"I really don't know. Almost everybody Gus had over that night had dealings with DiCarlo."

"I'll get something together for you. I'm heading up the investigation for the department and have already come under some pressure for dragging my heels. Keep me in the know so I can make myself look good, okay?"

"I will."

"You already talk to everyone there that night?"

"Yeah."

"Soooo," he purred. "What did you think of Anabel?"

I stopped my grooming and shot him a glare. "For Christ sake, you too?"

He laughed at me and I threw the handkerchief at him. "Come on, Maddie, gimme the story. Joey and I promised to fill each other in."

"Aren't you two a little old for gossip?"

He leaned back in his chair and waved to himself with both hands. "Give it to me."

I ignored him.

He snorted amusedly. "Did you like her?"

Much to my dismay, I began to redden.

"Oh, my God. Is that a blush?"

"No," I growled. "I'm on the rag. It's just a hot flash."

"You never could lie worth a damn," he chortled happily. "I'll tell Joey we picked a winner. Did ya kiss her?"

I rolled my eyes and scooted around on the floor so I wasn't facing him. "Would you please shut the fuck up?"

Another gale of laughter at my expense. "For someone who comes across as tougher than a coffin nail, it's a riot to see you get all girly over your love life."

I sighed. I'd heard it all before. My eyes fell to my watch and I jumped to my feet. "Shit. I'm supposed to meet Woody in half an hour."

"Where at?" Billy asked, his chuckles finally tapering off.

"Abernathy's. Help me pack up the rest?"

"Sure," he said, sliding from his chair and taking a seat next to me on the floor. "Here, I'll finish wrapping this stuff."

"Okay," I said, rising to my feet.

I sat down in Gus's chair with the intention of going through the desk, but froze when my gaze returned to Billy.

Unexpectedly, moisture again rose to my eyes. Here was a guy who had a million other things clamoring for his attention yet chose to ignore it all so he could be here with me. I looked at him sitting on the floor in his wrinkled suit, carefully wrapping picture frames, and I felt a moving wave of affection. It dawned on me then that I wasn't near as alone as I thought, and my family was larger than I had previously realized.

"You okay, Maddie?" he asked, and I blinked to find him looking at me curiously.

I wiped at my eyes and shot him my best smile. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."

"Ya sure?"

"Very."

--------- I jogged into the lobby of Abernathy's a little over five minutes late and ran right smack into the disapproving glare of Woodrow Ledoux. He was a big, chubby guy with man breasts and a head of dark hair that would've made Elvis Presley jealous. Other than the brown eyes, Woody didn't take after Gus, physically or in any other way, they got along only because they both made the effort.

"Glad you could make it, Maddie," he said in his holier than thou voice.

"Sorry," I said brusquely, hoping to avoid a confrontation.

"Are you planning on being late to the funeral too?"

That pissed me off. "Don't fuck with me today, Woodrow."

We spent a few seconds indulging in a spaghetti western stare down, a game he not only sucked at, but always lost. He kept his record intact by releasing a sigh and looking away.

"That was uncalled for, I apologize."

"Yes, it was," I agreed. "Apology accepted," I couldn't help but add condescendingly.

His eyes flashed. "Do you wanna fight?"

"Do you? I'm not the one who made a shitty comment the second I walked in the door."

"You were late."

"So? I'm here now, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are. Surprisingly enough."

"What should be surprising is the fact you could take a break from defending the poor, oppressed masses from the imagined evils of The Man, long enough to be having this stupid argument with me."

He ground his teeth. "You're not wrong. This is a stupid argument."

"If I'm not wrong, then I'm right, and other than gorgeous, it's my favorite thing to be."

Anger battled briefly with amusement. It was a close call, but he finally chuckled. "Alright, goddamn it. I was being a prick. Can we just let it go?"

I shrugged indifferently. "Sure."

He stomped off a few paces, performing his standard indignant lawyer routine. "Jesus, you make it so hard," he exclaimed, raising his arms in plea to a higher power.

"What do you want from me? A fuckin' benediction?"

He didn't answer and turned away, walking over to stand in front of a casket with his back to me. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to emerge from his sulk, casually looking around and finding no interest whatsoever in the surroundings. I sighed. He was a bastard and I was a bitch. There was no getting around it but there was no harm in trying to ignore it, at least for a little while.

I turned to apologize and came up short when I noticed his shoulders shaking. Suddenly ashamed of myself, I eased up behind him and placed a sympathetic hand on his back. Much to my surprise, I encountered eyes shining not with grief, but with mirth.

"What's so funny?"

"Do you remember old Tomaso's funeral?"

My eyebrow's knit. "I don't think so."

"Sure you do," he said. "Gasbag Tomaso?"

I let out a quick bark of laughter, the nickname igniting the memory instantly. Tomaso had been a local mafia icon for as long as I could remember. A crotchety, vindictive old man that had lived to the ripe old age of ninety-six. He was such a nasty son of a bitch that all the neighborhood kids were terrified of him. When I was growing up, his little house at the end of the street was generally thought of as a portal to Hell, and was avoided like a hooker with a 'Herpes' tattoo. If one were unlucky enough to get too close, the old man, who spent most of his day in a rocker on the porch, would scream profanities and throw garbage at you.

He acquired the nickname 'Gasbag' sometime during the last few years of his life. Tomaso went senile and developed a deafening, chronic case of gas that made nuclear fallout seem harmless. The family, of course, took care of him, but fights often broke out between the wise guys over whose turn it was to watch over him. Nobody wanted to stay in a house that smelled like a sulfur factory with an old man, that when he was lucid, took his misery out on anyone unfortunate enough to be within range.

Finally, the old bastard kicked the bucket and received a funeral with honors. As malicious as Tomaso had been, he'd also been an old school gangster who defined loyalty and, out of respect, the family had shown up in force.

When Father O'Brien opened his mouth to begin the service, someone in the crowd made a generous and shockingly loud fart noise that echoed throughout the room. A stunned silence followed in its wake, everyone afraid to even breathe. It was the Father himself that finally broke, emitting a strangled titter of laughter that instigated an avalanche. It was the only funeral I've ever attended where there truly wasn't a dry eye in the house.

"How could I forget?" I said. "What brought that to mind?"

"No clue, it just popped into my head."

I snickered. "I've always wondered who was to blame for that."

He smiled. "You don't know?"

I shook my head. "No."

"You mean you never fell prey to Joey's whoopee cushion?"

I gaped at him. "Joey?"

He nodded amusedly. "Yeah, Dad finally ended up taking it away from him."

"That's hilarious."

"You remember O'Brien scolding everybody for laughing?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, he yelled at us and then giggled all the way through his sermon."

"The damn pallbearers stumbled the casket out to the hearse laughing so hard they almost dropped it."

We roared at the recollection and were still at it when one of the junior Abernathy's entered the lobby and addressed us.

"Woodrow and Matilda Ledoux?"

"That's us," Woody said, wiping at his eyes.

The ghoul started to give us a well-oiled look of compassion but it changed quickly to confusion when he realized we were laughing, not crying. "Uhm, if you'll come with me?"

We got ourselves together and followed after him. I was startled when Woody grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"I'm sorry, Maddie."

I squeezed him back. "Me too."

--------- I sped all the way back to my loft and hurriedly carried all the boxes from Gus's office up the stairs. I was running late. The appointment at Abernathy's had taken longer than expected. I stacked everything next to the kitchen counter and discarded my clothes on the way to the shower. Sarah was due to show up in less than an hour so I rushed through my routine.

After I dried off and got into some underwear, I paused while surveying my possible choices of attire. Should I go for casual or something sexy? Of course, it didn't really matter. You could dip me in babyshit and I'd still be the bomb. With that in mind, I decided on the usual jeans and shirt and hastily headed for the mirror to fix my face. Not that it needed fixing, just a few touches to highlight my natural magnificence.

The doorbell rang as I was tying back my hair and I felt a little jolt of excitement. My last date had been so long ago that it was only a barely recognizable memory. However, I could clearly recall how it had ended and I decided to put an extra effort into softening my admittedly abrasive edges. No need to scare another one away. I was desperate but then again, I always had Stephanie to fall back on. She'd never leave me. She was smart enough to know she had a good thing.

My hand was a foot away from the door, when it struck me that my place was a mess and generally resembled a Gypsy landfill. I chewed on my lip for a second and then hastily ran into the kitchen to get my jacket and gun. Coming to the conclusion that it would be better if she didn't come in.

I opened the door and quickly stepped outside, closing it behind me and forcing her to back up a step.

"Hi!" I said brightly.

"Hi," she giggled. "I guess the place is a mess?"

"Uhm, was I that obvious?"

"Nah," she scoffed. "You look great."

"Thanks, so do you," I said, and I meant it. Other than a gray leather jacket, Sarah was dressed to kill in a pretty pink blouse that made my mouth water and tight white jeans that greased my weasel.

"Thanks," she grinned. "You ready?"

I put my jacket on and undid my belt to accommodate the gun. "Now, I am."

"You always carry that?"

"The gun?"

"Yeah."

"Always."

"Hmmm," she grunted and shrugged dismissively, extending her hand. "Come on."

I took her hand with a little smile and happily let her lead me down the stairs. We hit the street and I was escorted to a little blue Camero. She even opened the door for me. Smart chick. She wanted me bad.

When she sat down behind the wheel, she cast a smile in my direction. "Ready?"

"Yep."

She pulled away from the curb and sped off down the street. "How long were you in the Army, Maddie?"

"A little over six years."

"Why did you get out?"

"I realized they wouldn't let me fly forever."

"Did you have one of those cool nicknames?"

"Huh?"

"You know, like Iceman or Maverick?"

"Oh. Yeah, I did."

She waited a few seconds and then turned a look on me. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

Eyes rolled. "Well, what was your nickname?"

I grinned. "What do you think it was?"

"I dunno. Hot pants?"

"Would've been fitting, but no."

A chuckle. "Just tell me."

"Maddie."

"Maddie?"

"Yep."

"Humph. Ya hungry?"

"Yeah. Haven't had anything all day."

She shot me a wink. "Well then, we'll have to get you filled up."

Sweet Jeebus. It was at times like these that I truly wished I were easy. I'd like to be a slut. One look at Sarah and I really wanted to be a slut. I don't know where I picked it up and if I did, I'd take it back, but I'd never been able to jump right into the sack with someone I just met. I didn't want every woman, just the right one. Was Sarah the right one? Was Anabel? I sure as hell hoped one of them was because I didn't relish the idea of growing old with Stephanie. Maybe I was just a romantic at heart.

"You still with me?"

"Huh?" I asked, looking up to see her gazing at me amusedly. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"Potatoes."

She snickered. "What?"

"I was thinking I had a craving for potatoes."

--------- Dinner was an entertaining and in some ways, enlightening affair. Sarah was great. She was smart, funny, and incredibly alluring. I had a moment of incredible weakness when she excused herself to go powder her nose and I got to watch her walk away in those fantastic jeans. If she had returned to the table with a carrot and asked me to eat it out of her ass, I probably would've dropped to my knees immediately and ordered her to bend over.

Fortunately, she didn't make any such request and I eventually regained my bearings. However, she dropped enough hints over the course of the evening to make it quite obvious what she wanted. That want was me and well, who could blame her? She thought I was wonderful and I couldn't help but agree.

She also wasn't the bleeding heart I was afraid she might be. She had a head on her shoulders that could be admired for more than just a pretty face. Her halfway house was only one of several successful business ventures. She'd made her money and had decided to give a little back to those less fortunate. In my view, there was absolutely nothing wrong with that.

"Do you want desert?" she asked.

My mind instantly blazed down the path that led to my groin, but I think I recovered nicely. "Sure."

"Want to have it here or at my place?"

There it was. The question I'd been dreading all evening. Oh, how I wanted to go. She turned me on in such a way that I'd probably come the second I stood from my chair. It wasn't just physical; I liked her. I liked her a lot. She obviously liked me so what was the problem? Say yes! Say yes! I was fucking hopeless. Something, something irritating and persistent, emanating from deep down inside, prompted me to open my mouth and decline.

"As much as I know I would like that, I'm afraid it's just a little too soon for me," I said apologetically.

Her disappointment was obvious, but she rallied. "That's not the answer I wanted but it's the one I pretty much expected."

"It was?"

"Yeah," she said with a little grin.

"Why?" I asked, leaning forward in my chair, extremely interested in her answer.

"Because I've hit on you all night and there were a couple of times you seemed to struggle with it."

I saw where this was headed and jumped to put a stop to it. "It's not you. Believe me. It's not you at all."

She grunted. "So if I were to take that at face value and ask you out again, you'd say yes?"

"In a heartbeat."

She leaned back in her chair and beamed a playful smile. "Let me think about that over dessert."

I giggled. "Please do."

We ordered our sweets and fell back into a friendly chatter. Each trying to learn as much we could about the other. I was really hoping that she would ask me out a second time, although I had to admit that if shoe was another foot, I myself probably wouldn't. I felt like a fool and castigated myself for turning her down. It wasn't the first time in my life I'd gotten such an offer and I've always said no. Why? For the life of me I wish I knew. It was a topic I struggled with often, and it seemed I was no closer to an answer than I'd been a decade ago.

Dessert gave way to drinks and we bantered back and forth until the alcohol was abandoned in favor of coffee. I was disappointed when the evening began to approach its conclusion. I couldn't remember the last time I had enjoyed a date so thoroughly. I wanted kiss her. I mean I really wanted to kiss her. I became so obsessed with the desire that I had trouble thinking about anything else.

However, it occurred to me in the car that she still hadn't extended an invitation to get together again. Worriedly, I looked out the window to take in my surroundings and was disenchanted to discover we were only a matter of minutes away from my place. Should I ask her or should I hang tough and see what happens? I was still debating the question when she pulled up to the curb and stopped. It was the moment of truth.

"Want me to walk you up?" she asked.

"Yes."

She got out of the car and started to walk around so I hurried out of my seat to join her. I was afraid she might open my door for me and I didn't want to play the princess. I was offered a hand and I took it.

We walked up the stairs in a companionable silence and when we reached the top she turned suddenly to face me. I hoped my nervousness wasn't showing.

"I'd like to see you again, Maddie."

A wave of relief. "I'd like to see you too. I had a great time."

"So did I."

I offered a nervous smile and she giggled. "I'd really like to kiss you."

My knees almost buckled. "You read my mind."

She closed in shyly and placed hands on my waist. I couldn't wait and leaned forward to meet her. I met lips that aroused me powerfully and was welcomed by arms that moved to encircle me tightly. I think I may have whimpered when her breasts pressed into mine and I know I gasped when the hands on my back dropped to my ass. When she captured my tongue and sucked it on it softly, I almost collapsed. Another few seconds and I wouldn't have the willpower to stop so I carefully started to back away. To my relief, and to my disappointment, she let me.

When we disengaged she kept her eyes closed and licked her lips so seductively that I had to lean back to steady myself on the door behind me.

"You taste wonderful, Maddie," she whispered.

"So, so do you."

"I'd like to do that again."

"I'd better not."

"You sure?"

"No. And that's why I better not."

She chuckled. "Can I call you? Soon?"

"Yes."

"Then I will," she said with a determined nod, leaning in quickly to peck me on the cheek. "Goodnight, Maddie."

"Bye, Sarah," I rasped, unable to look away and torturing myself as I watched her walk back down the steps. She stopped in front of her car and gave me a little wave that I returned robotically.

After she drove off, it took me a few minutes to get my shit together, but when I did, I quickly fumbled for the keys in my pocket. I burst through the door and made a beeline for the bedroom. Stephanie needed me. Needed me in the worst way.

--------- That night, I dreamed about Gus. A memory I hadn't thought about in years.

The public school system was a far cry from what I was previously accustomed to. The size, diversity, and freedom easily allowing a greater opportunity to practice the ignorant cruelty that children often engage in. Not that I wasn't guilty of it myself on occasion, but like everybody, it was an eye opener when it was directed squarely at you.

I was a bit of a tomboy and had an accent when I was younger that easily singled me out of a crowd. Those two reasons alone guaranteed my exclusion from any of the popular cliques. There was also the fact that Gus and Joey didn't really buy into the whole private school idea so Sophie and I had the added bonus of being kids the other children's parents had told them to avoid. When Sophie and I weren't joined at the hip, I was mostly a loner, and to be honest, that suited me just fine.

Now, I've previously denied being a bigot, but if there's one class or culture of people that I'm truly prejudiced against, it's rednecks. Fortunately, your typical redneck tends to avoid your large metropolitan areas and for that, we can all be thankful. I personally think they realize that they wouldn't survive very long in a city, they wouldn't be tolerated and they're just smart enough to know it. Well that, and I'm sure they'd miss molesting their cousins, farm animals, and whatever else they might have a hankering for.

I could go on for hours, and in great detail, illustrating exactly why rednecks are the most useless bags of skin inhabiting the planet, but odds are, most people already know this and I'd be wasting my time. Even bikers hate them and that speaks for itself.

Jesse Wayne Harper stood out like a turd in a public swimming pool. Fourteen years old and the proud owner of an evil smile devoid of dental hygiene, he combed his hair with buttered toast and clothed himself as if he desired to be Willie Nelson's dirty laundry. Every pair of jeans he owned had a faded little circle on the back pocket created from carrying around a can of dip. He was a vicious little prick and he went out of his way to advertise it.

My run in with Jesse Wayne took place just off campus. Apparently, he had seen Sophie and I eating lunch together that afternoon. When we parted ways, I pecked her on the cheek. It was nothing out of the ordinary, we were best friends and if I hadn't have done it, she would have. Jesse Wayne took exception and intercepted me after school on the sidewalk with his pathetic little slag. I listened to his venom with an irate ear, trying my best to get through the situation without a brouhaha. I'd had my share of mishaps and I knew if Gus had to come down to the school again because I was in trouble, there'd be hell to pay.

I suspected then that I preferred girls over boys, but I'd never been confronted with the hateful and disgusting comments that Jesse appeared to be taking great pleasure in spewing forth. Surprisingly, I endured it all, snapping only when his commentary switched from me and targeted Sophie.

In a fit of temper, I lunged forward and pushed him as hard as I could, hoping he would fall down so I might escape. He was much larger than I was and my assault only managed to make him collide with his girlfriend. She fell down and before I could get away he grabbed me by the hair and hit me so hard that I too, ended up on the ground. I'd never been hit before and I was stunned. Terrified at how badly it hurt, I immediately burst into tears. When he turned to his girlfriend, I lurched to my feet and managed to push him over as he bent to help her up. He rose with a red face so I did the only thing I could. I ran. I ran for six blocks with him in pursuit. Finally, I flew into Joey's shop scared to death and gasping for air. Jesse Wayne wisely chose not to pursue me inside.

Joey wasn't there at the time so one of the guys called Gus to come and get me. He arrived not ten minutes later with a look on his face that just plain scared the hell out of me. I guess he could see that I was frightened, so he smiled and I rushed over to be engulfed in his arms. Once we got in the car, I blubbered out the whole story. Repeating everything Jesse Wayne had said and done. By the time I was finished, you could easily see dangerous black thunderclouds brewing overhead.

When we arrived at home, he directed me to a chair in the living room and disappeared into the kitchen. He returned a moment later with a washcloth and a baggie of ice, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of me to gently wipe away my tears.

"Maddie, what's right for you may not be right for other people," he said softly. "If they have a problem with that, it's their problem, not yours." He reached out to tap me on the chest. "You follow your heart wherever it leads and you'll never be sorry."

It took me a while to understand what he was getting at. Gus's sensitive conversations were very few and far between.

"Wha, what if he was right?" I finally asked.

"Nothing that came out of that little bastard's mouth was right, Maddie," he growled. "But if you're asking me what I would think if you wanted a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend, I'll tell you."

It took every bit of courage I had to nod my head.

"As long as you were happy, I wouldn't give two shits one way or the other."

I grinned bashfully and he placed the icepack on my cheek.

"Now, you hold that there while I make a call, okay?"

"Okay."

He vanished and Joey arrived not long after. They spent a little while talking out on the porch and then Gus came back inside to fix us dinner. That minute of conversation on the subject of my sexuality was the only time it was ever discussed. In all the years that followed, he never gave me the slightest reason to think that he hadn't meant exactly what he said.

As for Jesse Wayne, well, he never came back to school. A few years later, I learned that the Harper family had received a visit from the goodfellas. Apparently, the gents weren't too fond of rednecks either. They advised the parents that it would be in their best interest to leave town and return to whatever shithole they crawled out of. They also left Jesse Wayne with eight broken fingers and two broken thumbs.

As far as I know. Nobody misses them.

After waking, I lounged in bed for almost an hour thinking about things. Had Gus unmasked Sabrina DiCarlo? She was the only real suspect. I couldn't see a motive anywhere else. Of course, the murder could've been perpetrated by anyone, it didn't have to point to any of the people Gus had over that night. However, my gut told me it did. Someone at the party knew something they weren't telling me. Perhaps, one of them was even the triggerman. But who and why?

The Franks? I doubted it. They were genuinely surprised by the news of Gus's death and were smart enough to realize that messing with him held repercussions. They had nothing to gain and too much to lose. I couldn't figure them for it.

Sarah? That seemed preposterous.

Joey? Gimme a break.

Anabel? That was just ludicrous.

The Binkowskis? I narrowed my eyes. They had lied to me, whether they realized it or not. I leaned toward not. They didn't know they were lying and were just telling me what they thought they knew. However, Sidney had dealt with Sabrina personally. That fact alone required that I visit him again. Then there was Tish. She was about as real as professional wrestling. She merited looking into.

Sabrina DiCarlo? She was the only person that had any semblance of a motive. Sabrina was marked for death. Everyone who knew Gus also knew he was close to the family and old man Sirico had a vendetta to finish. Would she whack Gus to protect herself? A good question. A person who held the kind of power Sabrina did, could probably remove Sirico himself if it came down to it. With that in mind, why hadn't she?

I needed more information and it was time to get moving so I rolled out of bed and made tracks for the bathroom.

V

Once I was ready to start my day, the first order of business was to give Billy a call. He had already assembled the files on DiCarlo and I asked him to get what he could for me on Tish Binkowski. He agreed and we made arrangements to meet for breakfast.

When I walked into the little diner he favored, he was already seated and waiting for me in his usual booth. He shot me a grin and waved me over.

"Well, well," he said as I sat down. "Someone's all prettied up today."

I rolled my eyes. "You're imagining things."

"I don't think so. I can't remember the last time I saw you with a bow in your hair," he drawled happily.

"Give it a rest, Billy."

He leaned forward conspiratorially. "Not 'til you give me something to chew on. You got a date?"

"I tied my hair back with a bow and this leads you to believe I have a date?"

"Uh huh."

"Why?"

"Just a hunch."

I shook my head, but he wouldn't let it go. "Well? Do you have a date?"

I sighed. "Yes. If you must know."

"I must. With Anabel?"

I nodded reluctantly and he chortled, fumbling his cell phone out of a pocket excitedly.

"What are you doing?"

"I gotta call Joey."

I reached out and swiped the phone out of his hand. "Jesus, you're worse than an old bitty. Can't you at least wait until I'm gone?"

He laughed and fell back in his seat. "Oh, alright."

"Gee, thanks," I said sarcastically, getting a snicker in return.

He waved to the waitress and I ordered coffee and a bagel. When she left, he pulled a file from his briefcase and tossed it on the table.

"That's what we have on Tish Binkowski."

I nodded and picked up the folder, surprised to see an official copy. "What's this? You could get in trouble for giving this to me."

"Porter came to see me after you left yesterday."

"Oh?"

"You've got carte blanche. He also said that if he had to, he'd do his best to run interference for you."

I was stunned. "You're shittin' me."

He shrugged. "Nope."

Damn, I had seriously misjudged the man. "I don't know what to say."

"There's more."

I could only gape.

"He told me that he'd fight to get you back onboard if you reapplied with the department."

"No way."

"We've got a new mayor," he said. "Porter thinks he can pull it off."

It was a lot to think about and I sat there in astonishment as I wrapped my mind around it. Eventually, the waitress arrived with our food and Billy spoke again.

"Anyway, give him a call if you're interested. See my Desk Sergeant later; he has the DiCarlo stuff boxed up for you. There's a lot to go through."

"Okay."

"Oh, before I forget," he said, reaching back into his briefcase. "The gun you gave me is a no go," he added, placing the Frank revolver on the table in front of me.

"I kinda figured."

"Also, forensics ran all the fingerprints they could lift from the house. Nothing on that front as well."

"I was expecting that."

"Me too, but ya never know."

"True enough," I agreed. "What are your thoughts on a motive, Billy?"

He played with his fork and hummed for a moment. "I've rattled that around for a while now and I'm still coming up empty. My nose points me to the DiCarlo's but that's mainly because of the mystery enshrouding them."

I grunted.

"Okay, your turn. What's the interest in Tish Binkowski?"

"She just strikes me wrong," I said around a mouthful of bagel. "Plus, the Binkowskis fed me a line of bullshit. Although, I don't think they knew it was bullshit. I'm gonna go see them again after lunch."

"Hmmm," he grunted, and nodded toward the folder he'd given me. "Her sheet makes for interesting reading."

I flipped it open and started to browse while we went about our respective meals. Billy was wrong. It wasn't interesting. It was a tragedy.

"Six arrests for prostitution?"

He nodded.

"Was Sidney a customer?"

"I assume so. Can't prove it though."

"How long have they been married?"

"Almost four years."

"That means Sidney got her cleaned up. Two rehab stays three years ago."

"Probably."

"She's had three arrests for possession," I said, looking up in surprise. "How did she weasel out of those?"

"Yeah, I thought that was a little fishy myself so I looked it up," he said. "You familiar with a Lawrence Merchant?"

"Nope."

"He's a high-dollar lawyer the department would love to see gang raped and left for dead."

"I'll bet," I said with a chuckle, but then it hit me. "Hold it, where would a twenty-dollar whore get the money for an expensive mouthpiece?"

"No idea," he said with a shrug.

"She have a pimp?"

"Again, no idea."

I grunted and bent my attention back to the file. "She has no next of kin?"

"None, but never confirmed."

"Where was she born?"

He tapped a finger on the table. "Detroit, but never confirmed."

I looked up sharply. "What the hell?"

"She never spent more than six hours in custody and like I said, she had a good lawyer."

"She never saw a trial?"

"Nope, all the charges were thrown out before it ever got that far."

"And nobody was curious as to why a streetwalker had an OJ Simpson attorney?"

"Who would've had the time?"

I conceded his point with a slight nod. It might have raised an eyebrow but in a high volume society, her case would be almost instantly forgotten as soon as it was disposed of. Police work in a large city was a lot like the mail; it never stopped.

He stood up. "I've got court in about fifteen, can I have my phone back now?"

"Sure," I said with a chuckle, sliding it across the table.

He collected it with a stupid grin. "Can I call you later for details?"

"No."

He laughed and dug his wallet from a pocket. "I'll get the tab if you get the tip."

"Deal."

A bill hit the table. "Lemme know what you find out from the Binkowskis."

"Will do," I said, still reading through the file. "See ya, Billy."

"See ya."

I was so engrossed in the details of Tish Binkowski that I didn't look up when he left. I jumped in my seat and almost shrieked when whiskers brushed my face and a kiss was planted on my cheek.

"Say hi to Anabel for me," Billy whispered in my ear.

"Goddamn it, Billy. You scared the shit out of me," I said with a punch to his arm.

"Oww," he exclaimed jovially, rubbing his wounded appendage as he turned and sauntered toward the door.

I smiled at his back and reached into my jacket for a tip. When I picked up the tab I noticed with a scowl the one-dollar bill he had left behind. The jerk had stiffed me. It was kinda funny so I just snickered and put a ten on the table.

I finished my coffee as I read through the file again. This time, I picked up on something I hadn't noticed before. Tish had gotten a traffic ticket late last year in Fowler, Iowa. No big deal, but for reasons I couldn't explain, it seemed significant.

--------- Five minutes before noon I parked across the street from 'Rocket Video', checked my hair in the mirror, and made sure I had some breath mints. The mints were a must; I wanted fresh breath in case Anabel wanted a little taste of paradise.

I got out and bounced all the way to the door, ridiculously happy at the chance to see her again. I entered the store and was disappointed to find a small crowd milling about. Anabel spotted me as I walked in and came up on her tiptoes, shooting me an enthusiastic smile. I waved at her with what I know was the dumbest grin I had in my inventory and hung back to wait for the customers to filter out of the store.

I entertained myself by pretending to browse around and sneaking looks at her when I thought she wasn't watching. With every glance, I grew more anxious to be alone with her and I started to become annoyed when people didn't start leaving fast enough. Finally, when there was only one lady left in the store, Anabel came out from behind the counter and walked to the door, flipping the 'Open' sign over to read 'Closed.'

I tried not to be obvious as I zeroed in on her rear, taking great pleasure in watching the sway of her hips as she walked across the room. She turned around and I smiled, hoping my lower lip wasn't shining with drool. She gestured to the woman still present and rolled her eyes before flouncing back to her station behind the counter.

My eyes tracked irritably to the lady who was delaying my date and I cringed. Her ass was so large I almost expected to see a moon in orbit around it and she was wearing an extremely unflattering dress that could hide Rhode Island from prying eyes. To make matters worse, she was studying a rack of movies with a wishy-washy look that told me she wasn't in a hurry to choose anything.

After what seemed like half an hour of staring at her and tapping my foot impatiently, I could take it no longer. I walked up beside her and pretended to be studying the movies in front of her. My nose crinkled, the cow smelled like she bathed in sour milk.

I opened my mouth to speak but Anabel cut me off.

"Ma'am," she said from behind the counter. "I hate to rush you but I have a noon appointment that I'm already a little late for."

I drifted a few feet away to let Anabel handle it. After all, it was her store and she had dealt with the lady a hell of lot more diplomatically than I would have.

"I'm sorry, dear," the cow said. "I'll try and hurry along."

"Thank you, ma'am," Anabel said sweetly.

I snuck a peek at Anabel and could resist no longer. I wanted to be next to her so I ambled over and leaned on the counter.

"Hiya."

"Hi," she said with a bounce, and with a quick look around, she darted forward to place a kiss on my cheek. "It's good to see you."

I gaped at her. The kiss had been the last thing I'd expected. My cheek tingled from the contact and I felt my body temperature rise several degrees.

"Close your mouth, Maddie," she whispered.

I pursed my lips and stood up straight. A little embarrassed she'd been able to flummox me so easily.

"Cute blush. Is pizza okay?"

"Huh?"

She sighed dramatically. "Pizza, you know, for lunch?"

"Sure," I giggled.

She turned to pick up the phone but the door chimes sounded as she started to dial. A guy in his twenties who obviously didn't know how to read wandered in, glancing around stupidly.

"I'm sorry," Anabel said. "We're closed for lunch."

"Oh," the guy said, looking around a second longer before leaving.

Anabel picked up the phone again and I cast a glare at the cow that was still browsing around. Surely, she had heard Anabel say the store was closed. God, people were so selfish and insensitive. They just sucked. The thought brought me up short for wasn't I selfish and insensitive? I guess I sucked too. My eyes strayed to Anabel's breasts as she spoke into the phone. Oh, I sucked all right. I'd suck all night if I had too.

"The pizza place is just down the street, it'll be about fifteen minutes."

I had to pull myself out of fantasyland to acknowledge her. "Uhm, that's fine."

"Anything you'd like to talk about while we wait?"

"I'd like to hear about you."

"You would?" she asked, shyly glancing away.

"Very much."

She shuffled her feet a little and I couldn't help but think she was just precious.

"Did you really threaten to rape Millicent and kill Whiskers?"

"Wha, what?" I stammered, the question completely blindsiding me.

"My next door neighbor. She said you threatened to,"

I came up to speed and held up a hand to cut her off. "Hold on. That horrible woman who lives next you is named Millicent?"

"Uh, yes."

"Jesus. What a god awful name. Just the sound of it makes my butt cheeks clench up."

She grinned but it faded quickly. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Did you threaten her?"

"Who, Millicent?" I said, throwing in a shudder.

She slapped me on the arm, trying rather unsuccessfully not to smile. "Yes, Millicent."

"Yeah, I threatened her. But believe me, if the thought of raping that woman ever popped into my head. I'd shoot myself."

"I'd hope so," she mumbled.

"You'd hope I what? Rape her or shoot myself?"

I got another swat. "Shush."

I laughed, but it tapered off as I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I had almost forgotten about the cow. It was too much. Anabel had told the woman she had an appointment and had clearly told the idiot that walked in that the store was closed. Yet the dumb, inconsiderate bitch was still browsing as if she hadn't heard any of it. Even I wasn't that selfish and insensitive.

I cleared my throat. "Excuse me, ma'am. But the store is closed and the owner has an appointment."

"Maddie," Anabel hissed.

The cow turned around as if this was news to her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hold anyone up."

Liar! My temper started to slip two notches at a time.

"It's quite alright," Anabel said quickly. "But I do need to hurry along."

"I'll just be another minute. Is that okay?"

"No," I said before I could stop it.

Anabel's hand landed gently on my wrist and applied a warning squeeze.

The innocent mask the cow had been wearing fell away in an instant. "So sorry to be an inconvenience. I thought I was paying customer," she said nastily.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. You can take as," Anabel began.

I couldn't help it. "Just shut up, lady. Isn't there a box of moon pies and a Slim Fast waiting for you at home?"

"Maddie!"

The cow froze, her jaw working as the M M she had for a brain struggled for a response.

"Don't fall down on the way out. That would break my fuckin' heart."

The woman went so red in the face that I thought for a second she might explode or at least shit all over herself. She opened her mouth and I stepped forward. She didn't wait for me to take a second step and I was suitably impressed that she didn't have to turn that ass sideways to get it through the doorframe. I let a satisfied smile drift over my features.

I turned to Anabel and the smile faded rapidly. She was standing as stiff as a board with her arms crossed over her chest. The color on her cheeks was a fuming shade of crimson and the look on her face, well, she was fucking livid.

"Uhm, sorry," I mumbled lamely.

"Me too," she hissed. "Please, let yourself out."

"But."

"This my store, Maddie. My store. I depend on the customers for a living, including that bitch you just kicked out of here. I decide who to show the door, not you. And in case you missed it," she said, pointing to the exit. "There's the door."

Well, gee. Could I have possibly fucked up any worse?

--------- I sulked all the way back to the car and sat down behind the wheel. I was such a loser. No wonder I was still alone. I couldn't even stand me. I was not only selfish but monumentally insensitive. I knew I shouldn't have butted in, so why did I? Why couldn't I learn to keep my mouth shut? If I weren't a Republican, I'd seek therapy.

I started the car and felt like crying as I drove toward the station house. My attraction to Anabel was different from the one I felt with Sarah. It just seemed more natural, dumb as that sounds. Sarah was more of a sexual attraction. Not that I wasn't sexually attracted to Anabel, it just that, oh, hell. I don't know.

When I arrived at my destination, I puttered inside and got my box of files with barely a word. It had been my intention to visit the Binkowskis but I couldn't summon the energy. Instead, I went home to brood and feel sorry for myself, dumping my box on the kitchen counter and throwing myself on the couch. I fumbled for the remote, clicking on the TV and settling on 'I Love Lucy'.

How fucked up was that? I hated 'I Love Lucy'.

--------- The sun was beginning to go down when my cell phone rang. I hadn't moved in hours.

"Ledoux."

"You at home?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Don't go anywhere. I'm on my way over."

He hung up and I stared at the phone confusedly. I didn't have to wait long; there was a knock on the door less than ten minutes later. I extracted myself from the couch and trudged over to let him in. I blinked a few times, a little befuddled over why he'd be holding a bouquet of roses.

"What's the occasion? I know it's not my birthday."

He let himself in and brushed passed me. "They're not for you, dumbass."

I chuckled and followed him to the kitchen counter where he deposited the roses. "What's going on?"

"Just be quiet and come with me."

"Joey?"

"Come," he ordered, snapping his fingers.

He sauntered into my bedroom and I belatedly trailed after him, feeling stupid and probably looking stupid.

"In here," he said from my closet.

"Joey, what the hell are!?"

"Get in here, Maddie."

I entered the closet to see him perusing through my wardrobe. He pulled out a dress and walked over to hang it front of me.

"This one will do," he said with a satisfied nod. "Do you have shoes to match?"

I shook my head to clear it. "What the hell is going on?"

He looked at me as if I were a moron. Perhaps I was. "You're gonna get dressed up and cart your ass over to Anabel's to apologize. That is what's going on."

I felt my jaw hit my chest. "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"She threw me out of her store," I said, placing my hands on my hips.

"Yeah, she did. And if you had pulled that crap in my shop, I would've thrown you out too."

"You talked to her?"

"Of course."

"I don't remember asking for anyone's help concerning my love life."

"If you had a love life, you wouldn't need help."

"I,I," Goddamn, that was a good point.

"Well?" he said, throwing a hand in the air. "Go get dressed."

"I'm not going."

"Maddie," he rumbled. "You're going whether you like it or not. I'll pull you over there by the ear if I have to."

I thought about that for a moment. I'd probably come off as more sincere if I showed up on her doorstep without Joey standing behind me holding a stick. Wait a second; this was way out of line!

"I'm thirty-one years old, Joey. What the hell would you know about lesbian relationships?"

"Obviously, a lot more than you do."

I scowled.

"You give up too easy, Maddie. Take it from a guy who's done more than his fair share of groveling. You fucked up, that doesn't mean you give up."

"Humph."

"Do you like her?"

I nodded.

"She likes you too."

An eyebrow crept upwards. "Really? Did she tell you that?"

He sighed. "Yeah, she passed me a note in class."

"Very funny. Really, what did she say?"

"God, you're pitiful."

Another scowl. "And why is that?"

"Because if you'd swallow your pride and bend a little every once in a while, I wouldn't be standing here right now."

I shuffled my feet. "What makes you think she won't slam the door in my face?"

"Trust me."

I began to waver.

"Well?"

I snatched the dress out of his hand and stomped into the bathroom.

--------- Thankfully, I managed to talk Joey out of following me to Anabel's, although he did warn that he'd be checking up on me later and of that, I had no doubt. The mere fact that there were more people involved in my love life than just myself and whomever I might be dating, was both sweet and infuriating. However, as much as I hated to admit it, I really did appreciate the kick in the ass.

A little part of my mind kept telling me that I was wasting my time and already had a pretty good possibility with Sarah, but considering my track record with relationships, I thought it best to keep all options available for as long as possible. Then, of course there was the fact that Gus, Joey, and Billy, had all conspired to get me to hook up with the same girl. I figured that if three guys were willing to go to such lengths to find and help me keep a girlfriend, I needed all the assistance I could get.

I pulled up in Anabel's little driveway, collected my flowers and checked my face in the mirror for stress zits and boogers. With my first step toward the house, I damn near took a header, stumbling several feet before I managed to right myself. Fuckin' heels! I only wore them once in a blue moon and I felt like a clown every time I did.

I steadied myself at the front door with a deep breath and rang the bell. As soon as my finger left the button, I had the almost overwhelming urge to make a break for it. I probably would've if I'd been wearing different shoes. With heels, I wouldn't get very far, and would most likely end up face down in the lawn with my dress over my head.

She answered the door in a tie-dye T-shirt and a pair of sweats. It was not one of my more heroic moments. I froze. I'd never done anything like this before and was at complete loss as to what do or say.

Her eyes lit up and I felt a spark of hope. It dimmed a little though when she appeared to catch herself and assumed an indifferent expression. I was just sharp enough to know that this was the point at which I was supposed to begin groveling, but again, I was at a loss. How did one grovel? Was I supposed to apologize or throw myself to floor and beg for forgiveness? Should I cry? If there was a sniper targeting me right now I wish he would just hurry up and pull the damn trigger. The silence was starting to stretch into hours; I needed to do something, anything. The pressure was too much.

"Uh, How 'bout those Bears?" I said stupidly, extending the flowers in her direction.

She laughed and I felt a wave of relief. "That is the most asinine apology I've ever heard."

I didn't know what to say and she still hadn't accepted the flowers so I fell back on my standby. I plastered on my puppy dog look.

She shook her head sadly, but I rejoiced internally, it was working. I could see her start to melt. What a sucker! This groveling stuff wasn't so bad. I batted my eyes for effect.

"Are you really as clueless as you would have me believe?"

I fumbled for an answer. "Uh, yeah, probably."

She rolled her eyes and took the flowers away from me. "You might as well come in," she said, backing up to allow me entry.

Heh. God, I was cool.

I took a step forward and promptly lost my feet. Falling forward to smack the right side of my face into the doorframe and bouncing off to land directly on top of her, crushing the flowers between us.

She started to laugh from underneath me and I wished, prayed really, that God would stop fucking around and just finish me off.

Part Two

I

"Are you sure you're okay, Maddie?" Anabel asked, gently applying an ice-filled washcloth to my face.

"I'll live," I mumbled, still embarrassed.

"You're gonna have a shiner."

"Great."

She chuckled and padded into the kitchen, leaving me sprawled out on the sofa. I craned my neck around and watched as she attempted to salvage a few of the flowers I'd mangled with my incredibly suave blunder.

At least she hadn't thrown me out, although that might have been easier on my ego. It kinda irked me that even now I could still hear her emit the occasional snicker. I didn't think it was funny at all; it had been painful and humiliating.

"You want something to drink, Maddie?"

"Sure."

She ambled over and sat down next to me, prompting me to scoot over by bumping her hips into my waist. "Here," she said, offering me a Mountain Dew.

"Thanks."

"Feeling a little better?"

"I guess."

A snicker that I tried my best to ignore. "Alright then, let's hear it."

"Hear what?"

"You came over here to apologize didn't you?"

"Yes, I came to grovel."

"Good. Let me hear some groveling."

I sighed.

"I'm waiting."

"Isn't it enough I've already embarrassed myself?"

She made a production out of pretending to think. "I dunno."

"How about if I just said I was really sorry and would never do anything like it again?"

"Hmmm. I can almost believe the sorry part."

I thought fast. "Okay, how about this? I promise to try my best not to do anything like it again."

"You're getting there."

"Geez, I'm not very good at this. It's my first time."

"First time for what?"

"Groveling."

"God, no wonder you're still single."

I went limp in exasperation. "Don't I get any points for effort?"

"A couple maybe. Let me do the math," she said, bringing a finger up to her lips thoughtfully. "You get a few points just for the dress, and I'll add a few more for the flowers. Unfortunately, I'll have to deduct some for the really pathetic apology. Then I'll have to take away a bunch because I had to prod you for the apology. Of course, you didn't bring chocolates, another subtractionâ€¦"

I began to wonder why I wasn't attracted to men.

"â€¦ It's looking pretty grim, but I'll add a heap of points just because you managed to live through the mortification of taking a fall into the doorframe and smashing all my rosesâ€¦"

Take me now, God.

"â€¦So in the final tally, I figure you come out ahead by less than a point and I'll forgive you," she said with determined nod.

I smiled. "Really?"

"This one time and only if you kiss me."

"Deal," I said immediately, sitting up excitedly. "You wanna little tongue with that?"

She gaped at me and then rolled her eyes. "Just a smooch will do."

"Okay," I said, leaning forward to receive a quick, but very sweet, peck on the lips.

"That was nice, thank you," she said shyly, abruptly hopping up from the couch and returning to the kitchen. "I still have some pizza left over from lunch. Would you like some?"

"Okay," I said, a foolish grin slowly fading from my face.

She puttered about for a few minutes and when she returned, much to my dismay, she handed me a plate and took a seat in the armchair, instead of on the couch next to me as I had hoped.

I nibbled on my pizza, unable to keep from staring at her as I ate. I bet she had no idea how cute she was. "You're very pretty," I said, shocking myself by voicing what I'd been thinking.

The slice of pizza in her hand stopped halfway to her mouth and she cast the most bashful look I've ever seen in my direction.

"Thank you," she mumbled, quickly looking away.

A dumbshit smile came to my face. I didn't want the moment to end so I sorted through my encyclopedia of charming anecdotes, and settling on one, opened my mouth to speak. As usual, the powers that be rained on my parade and the ringing of my cell phone ruined the opportunity. Irritated, I dug it out of my jacket.

"Ledoux."

"Hey, Maddie," Billy said.

"I hope this is important. I'm kinda busy."

"It is. Tish Binkowski just took a bullet."

I froze. "Is she dead?"

"Yeah, on my way to the scene now. Wanna meet me there?"

"Yes, where?"

"She was shot at home."

"I'm on my way."

"See ya in a few."

I hung up the phone, angry with myself for not dropping in on the Binkowskis this afternoon like I had planned. Instead, I'd been sulking and now another person was dead. Not that I was all torn up about it, but if Tish were murdered by the same gun that killed Gus, I'd missed out on a golden opportunity for possible information.

"You've got to go?" Anabel asked, and I turned to find a disappointed frown on her face.

"Uhmâ€¦ yeah. I'm really sorry."

"Did someone die?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Tish Binkowski."

She gasped. "That nice lady I met over at Gus's?"

"I'm afraid so," I said quietly. "I'm really sorry, but I've got to rocket."

"Okay," she mumbled grumpily.

"Uhmâ€¦ do you have some clothes I could borrow?"

She chewed on her lip for a second. "I'll go find something for you," she said, and turned to rush down the hall.

I wasn't able to stand still so I paced around the living room until she returned and handed me a bundle of clothes. "Your feet are bigger than mine, I don't have anything in the way of shoes that'll fit you except a pair of boots."

"Anything will be fine."

"Be right back," she said, rushing back down the hall.

I shrugged out of my dress, letting it fall to the floor as I shook a pair of neon pink sweats out of the bundle Anabel had given me. Neon pink, for Christ's sake. The shirt was even worse, but I put it on anyway. Anabel returned as I was getting into a pair of socks and dumped a pair of combat boots in front of me. I sighed. Billy was gonna have a fit when I showed up at his crime scene in pink sweats, combat boots, and a bright yellow T-shirt with Smurfs on it.

I stood up after I got into the boots and she laughed at me. "You look retarded."

I sighed again and slipped into my jacket. "Thanks a lot. Did you dress me this way on purpose?"

"Of course not. I just grabbed the first things I thought might fit you."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously and received another snicker.

"Maddie, give me a call when you get home, okay?" she asked, shuffling her feet a little.

"Uhmâ€¦ I don't have your number."

"Oh," she said, grabbing her purse from the coffee table and digging through it to produce a pen. Instead of searching for a piece of paper, she reached out and grabbed my hand, writing the number on the back. "There you go," she said with an impish smile.

It was corny, but it kinda thrilled me. "Thanks," I said, knowing I had a mushy look on my face.

She leaned forward and placed a lightning fast kiss on my lips followed by a little shove in the direction of the door. "Be on your way."

I giggled and turned to make my way out of the house.

--------- Billy was out front talking to a few of the uniformed fellas when I arrived. He broke away from them when I parked and walked over to meet me. He stopped a few feet away and leveled an amused look at me.

"What the fuck, Maddie? I didn't think you went if for the gay militant thing."

"Just spare me and give me the details, okay?"

He chuckled. "Large caliber wound to the abdomen. Ballistics will need to verify, but I'll reckon it's the gun we're looking for."

"Shit. I was planning on talking to her today and I didn't make it out here."

"Why not?" he asked, a knowing smile bearing down on me.

I narrowed my eyes; the grin gave him away. "Like you don't know?"

"Alright," he said around a snicker. "I'll let it go for the moment."

"Gee, thanks."

"Think nothing of it."

"I won't. Was Sidney here when it happened?"

"She was home alone. It was the staff's night off and Sidney was at a business meeting."

"He here now?"

"Yeah, he's in his office. I've got a couple of fellas looking after him, he's pretty distraught."

"Who found her?"

"Sidney did."

"Christ."

"Yep. You ready?"

"Yeah, let's take a look."

I followed him into the house and up a flight of stairs, as we entered the master bedroom he gave me a nudge.

"Watch your feet, it's pretty messy."

I nodded as he walked across the room and pushed open the bathroom door.

"In here. She was shot as she got out of the shower."

I approached and surveyed the interior from the doorway. A walk-in shower was situated in the corner next to a whirlpool bath. The corpse lay in the middle of white-tiled floor in an impressive pool of blood. I stepped inside carefully, circling the congealing puddle until I get a picture of the room as a whole.

On one side of the shower an exit-wound splatter stained the wall, and there were several smears in the blood where she had apparently struggled until death came for her.

"I agree. She was probably shot the second she stepped out."

"I place the shooter in front of the vanity."

I cast another look inside the shower and frowned. "If I remember right, Tish was about my size, right?"

"Pretty close, yeah."

I gingerly stepped into the shower doorway, glancing behind me to make sure I was positioned correctly. "Billy, go stand where you think the shooter stood."

He tiptoed over and shot me a curious look. "Whatcha thinkin', Maddie?"

"I'm thinking you stand about six foot tall."

"And?"

"That's about average height for most guys, isn't it?"

"I guess, yeah."

"Shoot me in the belly."

He extended his arm, pointing a finger at me. "Bang."

I stepped to the side. "Now look behind me."

"The splatter doesn't line up. She was shot at angle."

"Exactly. Now take a seat on top of the vanity and do the same thing."

He hopped up to sit down and we went through the scene again. "Well, shit. So the shooter had to be about six and half feet tall or they jumped up on the damn counter and waited for her to get out of the shower."

"It was the counter. They wanted a comfortable seat for the show."

"The show?"

"The shooter likes to watch them suffer. He gets off on it."

He shook his head in disgust. "God."

"No shit."

"Did you wanna talk to Sidney?"

"Nah, the questions I want answers to would be hard to hear right now," I said. "However, you might mention it to him that I'll be around soon."

"Okay."

"I'm gonna talk to Larry Merchant tomorrow."

He took a deep breath. "That's a potential shitstorm, Maddie."

"Probably."

"He's not gonna talk about his clients, and if you piss him off you can wave goodbye to your PI license."

"He'll talk."

"Oh? Why would he do that?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" I asked, giving him a look.

He met my eyes, knowing where I was going. Joey. "No, I don't."

"There it is then."

He nodded. "Wanna tell me where ya got the shiner?"

"No."

"Did she slug you?"

"No!" I said, placing my hands on my hips.

He chuckled and dipped his head, zeroing in on something. "Is that her phone number on your hand?"

Goddamn it. "No."

"Don't ever run for office, Maddie," he said, grinning. "So why are you dressed up like Richard Simmons playing GI Joe?"

I rolled my eyes. "Isn't there something you should be doing?"

He looked at his watch. "It can wait."

"Not that long."

He snickered. "Fine, but I'll find out sooner or later."

"Sadly, that's probably true."

His radio barked. "Forensics just arrived."

"Copy, on the way," he answered.

"I need to lead them back here. Wanna wait or come with me?"

"I'll hang out."

"Be right back," he said, turning to amble out the door and leaving me alone with the late Tish Binkowski.

My eyes strayed to the body and I shook my head in wonder. The bogus boobs were indeed a sight to behold. They were as sturdy as the Himalayas and completely unaffected by gravity. A thought suddenly struck me. A sick, perverse thought that disgusted me even as I battled with the undeniable curiosity that gave birth to it. It was disrespectful, twisted, and gross, but I just had to know what a phony hooter felt like.

I looked to make sure the coast was clear, and crept up to within arms reach of my target. I had a hard time believing that I was even considering it. The poor woman was lying dead on the floor and I was thinking about feeling her up. I couldn't help myself. Knowing that I'd later be roasting in Hell for it, I reached out and hesitantly lay a hand on one of her breasts.

I'll be damned.

Voices in the next room sent me flying backward in a panic and I hurriedly tried to assume a nonchalant expression. My eyes caught my reflection in the mirror and I was horrified to see a crimson face staring back at me glowing with shame. I could get caught diddling myself in church and not look as guilty as I did now. Loser, was too good a word for me.

Billy came into the room leading several guys and one woman. All of them instantly went about their work and none of them spared me anything more than a passing glance.

"You okay, Maddie?" Billy asked. "You look a little strange."

"Uhmâ€¦ I'm just a little tired is all."

"Huh. You all done in here?"

"Yeah."

"Want me to walk you out?"

"Nah, I can find my way."

"Alright, gimme a call tomorrow."

"Okay. 'Night, Billy."

"Goodnight."

I brushed past him with a punch to his arm and escaped into the bedroom, letting out a giant breath of relief. All the way to the car, I berated myself for being a hopeless, depraved pervert.

--------- When I got home, I shuffled into the bedroom and flopped down on my bed, a million things spiraling around in my head. My spirit guide told me the road that led to the killer had a lot to do with Tish Binkowski. But where did Gus come in? There was absolutely nothing substantial I could point to that connected Tish to Gus other than a dinner party. Was there more going on between them than met the eye? I doubted it.

A theory, or at least the vague outline of a theory, began to form. There wasn't a pimp on the planet that would cough up the kind of cash it would take to acquire the services of a shyster like Lawrence Merchant on behalf of a smalltime hooker. They would let her burn, secure in the knowledge that were plenty of other women to exploit. Tish knew something. She knew something important enough to keep her out of jail, and dangerous enough to eventually get her killed. That pointed to someone with clout and the obvious suspect was Sabrina DiCarlo.

She was the only one that had a possible motive for both murders. Maybe she figured Gus was getting too close and maybe she could no longer trust Tish to keep her mouth shut. It was all conjecture, but I could feel it in my teeth that Sabrina came into play somewhere in the middle of this mess.

I rubbed my eyes and winced as I came into contact with my contusion. The heat of embarrassment rose to my face at the memory of how I got it, and I turned my hand over to smile at the number written on the back. I reached for the phone.

"Hello."

"Hi, it's Maddie."

"Hey, you get home?"

"Yep."

"How's the shiner?"

"Growing."

She giggled. "I'm sure it won't be too bad."

"I hope not," I mumbled.

"Don't worry about it. You're pretty enough most people won't notice."

I smiled slyly. "You think so?"

"Yep. Would you like to try and get together again for lunch?"

I considered. "How about dinner tomorrow night? I'll cook."

"Hmmm. What time?"

"Six okay?"

"I don't get off until six. The guy that works nights comes in then. Seven would be better."

"That's okay too. Want me to pick you up?"

"Nah, I'll get over there. I don't want to depend on you for a ride home if you make me mad."

I pulled the phone away from my face and stared it.

She laughed. "I was just kidding."

"Does that mean you need a ride or what?" I asked irritably.

"Don't get ugly," she scolded. "And no, I don't need a ride."

"Humph."

"Are you really going to cook for me?"

"Well, yeah. Did you think I was going to invite you over for dinner and then take you to McDonald's?"

A chuckle. "Cooking wasn't on the resume presented to me when I was being coerced into giving you a shot at dating me."

There were a lot of things in that sentence to be upset about, but I focused on the one that bothered me the most. "A resume!" I practically shouted, sitting up straight.

A musical cackle greeted me on the other end. "What can I say? You were a hard sell."

I fumed. "Tell me you're kidding."

"Okay," she snickered. "There wasn't a resume, but your lack of homemaking skills were brought to my attention."

I groaned. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Depends."

"Could you please cut down on the amount of information you give out? I'm picked on enough already."

"Aww, poor baby," she cooed. "They just love you."

"Uh huh. They're dreadful gossips and I'm tired of being a source of amusement for them."

"I'll see what I can do."

"I'd appreciate it."

"How much?" she asked quietly.

An eyebrow rose. "A lot."

"Hmmm. On that note, I think I should say goodnight."

"Killjoy."

"We'll see, bye Maddie."

"Bye."

I fell on to my back and stared at the ceiling, a warm, and very welcome sensation starting in my toes slowly working its way upward. I basked in it for as long as I could make it last. Finally, I rose with a sigh and made tracks for the box of files I'd gotten from Billy. It was time to become acquainted with the DiCarlo's.

II

I rose the next morning with a mission; I was dressed, armed, and ready for battle by nine. Why nine? Because trial lawyers didn't work before nine unless they had court, or there was someone to rape. I punched a number into the phone and waited through four rings.

"Merchant law office, may I help you?"

"This is Mary Martin with the DA's office. Is Larry in this morning?"

"Yes, Mary. He's in the office until eleven today. Would you like me to connect you?"

"No, thank you."

I disconnected and hurried out to the car. I was happy. It wasn't everyday I got to threaten a lawyer. I could tell I already hated him. Judging from what little I knew about him, I figured him for a complete asshole. The kind of hypocrite that preaches justice and the rule of law in public, but in actuality practiced greed, manipulation, treachery, and self-indulgence. In other words, your typical Democrat. He was probably a child molester to boot.

It took me almost thirty minutes to get across town and when I arrived, my opinion of the man only fell a little further. His offices could only be described as decadent. No doubt paid for by stepping on the necks of those he perceived beneath him. Which, in his opinion, was probably everybody. I parked the car on the street and walked briskly up the stairs to enter a snobbishly decorated lobby with two-inch thick maroon carpeting.

A secretary sitting behind an arrogant, polished mahogany desk glanced up and leveled an almost contemptuous look at me as I approached.

"May I help you?"

"I'd like to see Mr. Merchant, please."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Nope."

"I see. Mr. Merchant isn't in right now, but I can schedule an appointment for you if you'd like?"

I whipped out my ID. "I know he's here, and I won't take no for an answer."

She didn't even look at it. "Mr. Merchant is in court this morning. Would you like to make an appointment?"

"Mr. Merchant doesn't have court until eleven, and if you mention an appointment one more time, I'll break my foot off in your ass."

She was cool one. "I'm afraid I can't help you," she said, not missing a beat. "Mr. Merchant is in court."

"Hi, this is Mary Martin with the DA's office."

She glanced at me sharply.

"Can we cut through the bullshit now? Just take me to his office."

"I'll see if he'll admit you," she said, reaching out for the phone.

I reached across the desk and placed my hand on it before she got there. "It would be to your advantage to just show me the way."

"And why would that be to my advantage?"

I had to hand it to her, she was a tough cookie. "Because if I have to go looking by myself, I'll handcuff you to your chair."

She spent a few seconds studying me and finally rose to her feet. "Follow me, please."

"But, of course."

I trailed after her and pursed my lips; she had the hindquarters of a thoroughbred. Too bad she was only moderately attractive. My eyes strayed to take in my surroundings.

"You know, this place is shamelessly huge for just one guy."

"He's a very good attorney. You'll end up regretting this I'm sure."

"You must be sleeping with him."

She shot a poisonous look over her shoulder.

"That's what I thought," I said smugly.

I didn't get a response, but the sudden stiffness in her walk was all the satisfaction I needed.

We came to a halt a second later and she knocked on a huge set of double doors.

"Come."

I followed her into the office to confront a surprisingly handsome, well-built man standing in front of his desk reading through paperwork.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Merchant. This woman insisted on seeing you. Would you like me to phone the police?"

He walked around his desk with a practiced elegance and took up his chair. Studying me with interest before he spoke.

"I don't think that will be necessary. Thank you, Susan."

She gave me another look full of venom on her way out.

I found a seat in front of his desk and returned the scrutiny being directed at me. He sure wasn't hard to look at with dark, intelligent eyes and hair to match. He was pretty enough to be one of those Hollywood sissy boys.

"And you are?" he asked.

"Maddie Ledoux."

"How can I help you?"

"I'm a private detective and would like to hear all about your dealings with Tish Binkowski."

He smiled. "I don't know a Tish Binkowski and you know I can't discuss clients."

"You can and you will."

"Are you threatening me?"

"At this time, I'm just asking."

He leaned back in his chair and spoke condescendingly. "I don't know who you think you are, but you're way out of your league here. If you get up right now and leave this office, I'll pretend this never happened."

"And if I don't?"

"Don't force me into anything, Miss Ledoux. I'd like to think I'm a reasonable man."

"I'm reasonable too. I know you can't officially tell me what I want to know so I'll ask very nicely, just once, for you to share with me unofficially. Anything you tell me, will stay with me."

He lifted his eyebrows expectantly.

"Mr. Merchant, would you please share with me information regarding Tish Binkowski?"

A hand came up and he rested his chin on it in contemplation.

I crossed my legs, leaned back in my chair, and waited.

Finally, several minutes later, he raised his head. "No," he said with an evil little smile.

I stifled a chuckle. I kinda liked him. It was almost too bad. "Is that your final answer?"

"Yes, it is."

I rose to my feet. "Thank you for your time. Mr. Merchant."

"My pleasure, Miss Ledoux."

I strode from his office and made my way back to the lobby. Susan glared at me as I passed and shot me the finger. I grinned and ended up giggling all the way to the car. Under different circumstances, I could've almost liked her too.

When I sat down behind the wheel, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Joey's number.

"Yeah."

"Joey, it's Maddie."

"What's up, darlin'?"

"I need a favor."

"Name it."

"You know a Lawrence Merchant, Esquire?"

"Rings a bell. I can reacquaint myself quickly."

"I need a brace."

"I see. When?"

"As soon as possible."

"Stay by the phone. You'll get a call today."

"Thanks, Joey."

"Anytime. So, was I right?"

"Huh?"

"Anabel."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I guess I should thank you for that too."

"Yeah, you should," he rumbled, the sound of door chimes in the background. "Whoops, got to go."

"Okay, bye Joey."

"Bye bye."

I disconnected and dialed another number, one that I had a few misgivings about.

"Binkowski residence," Igor said.

"Sidney Binkowski, please. This is Maddie Ledoux."

"I'll get him," Igor said in a distasteful tone.

I waited a few minutes for Sidney to pick up.

"Miss Ledoux," he said tiredly.

"I'm sorry to bother you at such a bad time."

"I'll be at home all day, when can I expect you?"

"Within the hour."

"Very well."

He hung up without another word. The conversation had been more civil than I had expected and I couldn't help but think that this time, I'd get the straight dope.

--------- When I arrived at the Binkowski home, I was led back to the library where Sidney was waiting for me. The poor man was sprawled in a chair looking as if he'd spent a long night locked in a room avoiding buttsex with a three-legged man. He didn't speak and cast a tiredly expectant glare on me as the door closed behind Igor.

"I know this is a bad time. I'm sorry."

"What is it you wish to know?"

"You were married to Tish for four years. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"How long did you know each other before tying the knot?"

"About a year."

"Did you know what she did for a living?"

"Of course."

"Were you a customer?"

"I loved her. I tried to take her away from all of that."

"It looks like you succeeded."

He shrugged.

"Are you familiar with her criminal record?"

"She told me. They all took place before I knew her."

"You got her cleaned up?"

"Yes."

"She had a very expensive attorney. Any idea how she paid for that?"

"She had a benefactor."

"Who?"

"I don't know. But she was very afraid of whoever it was. I could never get her to talk about it."

"I see," I said, gesturing to a chair. "Would you mind?"

"Help yourself."

"Thank you," I said as I seated myself.

"It seems you have manners after all, Miss Ledoux."

"I know what it's like to lose someone so important."

He gave me a sad smile. "Of course. My apologies."

I nodded. "You told me you'd dealt with Sabrina DiCarlo. What did she look like?"

He took a deep breath and sighed. "I lied to you, Miss Ledoux. I never met Sabrina. My dealings with her were handled through an emissary."

"Why did you lie?"

"I mentioned it once to impress some people I was associating with. It was an impulsive lie. I had no idea it would attract as much attention as it did and word got around. I couldn't back away from it without losing face."

I spent a moment mulling that over in disappointment. "Are you aware of the real circumstances regarding the DiCarlo - Sirico vendetta?"

"Just rumor. You were right the first time we spoke. I'm a fraud. The mob uses me and I let them."

"You don't have to, Mr. Binkowski."

"Perhaps."

"Did you ever get the feeling that Tish was involved in Organized Crime?"

"I had at one time considered it, but I came to the conclusion she wasn't."

"Why?"

"Herâ€¦customersâ€¦ treated her too badly. The mob wouldn't allow an asset, however lowly, to be treated with such disrespect. That and she wasn't a profitable enterprise."

I ran that back and forth a few times. He had a good point. Prostitution was either a money machine for the mob or it was ignored completely. They didn't waste time with low-profit ventures. What I couldn't figure was where the benefactor came in. There wasn't enough money there to justify getting Tish out of trouble unless someone else profited.

"Tish got a traffic ticket in Iowa last year. Were you with her?"

"No."

"What was she doing in Iowa by herself."

"She didn't tell me. We had a fight and she left for me for a little over a week. I don't know where she went."

"Does she have any family?"

"None that I know of. She told me they were all dead and was loathe to discuss it."

"Where was she born?"

"Her birth certificate said Detroit."

"She never told you?"

"There were many topics Tish avoided. I let her."

"Why?"

"I had the feeling they were painful to her. She didn't need to relive any bad memories. She had enough to deal with as it was."

Jesus. I could only imagine.

"You suspect the same person for both our losses, Miss Ledoux?"

"Yes, I do."

"There won't be an arrest will there?"

"No."

"You'll let me know afterward, won't you?"

I stared at him for a moment. "You'll get a Valentine in the mail."

"I'll be looking for it. Eagerly."

I rose to my feet. "May I have a photograph of Tish and a copy of her birth certificate, please?"

"Of course," he said, rising from his chair. "I'll just be moment."

He exited the room and I waited almost ten minutes for his return. He handed me the requested items silently and then offered me his hand. I shook it. The man's life had just been forever changed. I knew exactly what it felt like.

--------- I spent almost an hour driving around without a destination, contemplating my next move. I was a little tired; I had spent most of the night with the DiCarlo files. Regrettably, there was nothing I could glean from the information that could point me in a direction that I hadn't already considered. However, I did receive an education. The DiCarlos had been steadily going legitimate for years. Their portfolio, that which could be documented of course, was pretty fuckin' impressive. Oh, their hands were dirty, filthy dirty, but they excelled at covering their tracks, so good in fact, that their involvement in most enterprises was speculation at best.

Joey had been right; the DiCarlo assets were vast. Larger by leaps and bounds than Sirico's and integrated throughout a surprising portion of the country. It was nothing short of a miracle they managed to disappear so rapidly and so thoroughly. My instincts told me that vanishing was something that they had practiced and had for some reason planned to do even before the blow up with Sirico. Why? I didn't know. I could only assume the incident with Danny and Sabrina had forced Salvatoreâ€™s hand and he forged ahead. But again, why?

DiCarlo outnumbered Sirico almost four to one. In a turf war, those kind of numbers virtually guaranteed victory. I could only figure that the potential cost was too high. Sal had a daughter to consider. A daughter personally marked by his rival. In a vendetta, Sabrina would be principle target number two after DiCarlo himself. In my estimation, he sacrificed himself to buy time for his daughter and the family's clean transition into anonymity. If that were indeed the case, those beneath him would be fanatically loyal. Apparently, they were. It had been almost seven years and still not a peep.

The big question. Did Gus get too close? If so, was he removed because of it? I had a hard time buying into the latter. Gus wasn't family, but at the same time, he was. Gus diligently ignored Organized Crime. He didn't want to get wrapped up in a conflict of loyalties. Everyone knew this and they respected him for it. That in itself told me DiCarlo would've known this as well. You don't successfully compete with a rival unless you're familiar with all the players. Removing Gus would serve no purpose. He would never put the pinch on family, rivals or no. Of course, that led me to wonder as to what exactly Gus had been looking into and why he kept it such a big secret. And where in the hell did Tish come in? Hopefully, my impending visit with Larry Merchant would shed some light on the subject.

My cell phone jarred me out of my deliberations and I answered it immediately.

"Ledoux."

"Hi, Maddie. It's Sarah."

I was delighted. I was beginning to wonder if I would hear from her again. "Hi!"

"I'm sorry I haven't called before now. I've had my hands full at work."

"That's okay. I'm just glad you called."

"Glad enough to meet me for lunch on short notice?"

"You bet. I'm just sort of wandering around."

"How does the Colcord on Division sound?"

"Sure, when?"

"About an hour?"

"I'll be there."

"Great! See you then, Maddie."

"See ya in a few."

I put the phone back in my jacket with a conceited little smile. I had a lunch date and a dinner date all in the same day. I was a playa! I was the Thang! Yo, G. I got game!

--------- The Colcord was a medium-sized restaurant that catered to the trendy business types that worked downtown. The food was overpriced and I wouldn't walk a mile for it, but the company promised to be exceptional.

I was a little early so I walked in and made arrangements for a table for two. It was busy and I decided to wait at the bar instead of hanging out in the foyer like a wallflower. The bar was situated in the center of the room, offering me an unobstructed view of the entrance. I ordered a girly drink because I wanted to taste sweet and sat down to study the people around me. All in all, it was a pretty good-looking crowd.

My eyes eventually landed on the television behind the bar and I frowned. Geraldo Rivera sickened me. The man had no shame. When he didn't have his tongue up the ass of the politically corrupt, he undoubtedly spent a lot of time trying to give himself head. I immediately turned away and occupied myself with the much more enlightening endeavor of identifying the best set of tits in the room. It was an arduous process and I was still at it when I caught sight of Sarah.

I felt an instant arousal and fired off a wave as soon as her eyes moved in my direction. She was wearing a silky white pantsuit that clung sensuously to her figure as she moved toward me. My eyes were riveted upon her as she advanced and I burned the image into my memory. I would replay the scene later, when Stephanie and I had some quality time.

"Hi, Maddie."

"Hi there," I said, leaning forward to place a peck on her cheek.

She giggled and I swooned for a second. "Nice greeting."

"I kinda thought so."

"Did you get us a table?"

"Yep, they haven't called my name yet. Would you like a drink while we wait?"

"Just a soda I think."

"Okay," I said, waving to get the bartender's attention.

She hopped up on the stool next to me and beamed a smile. "I'm glad to see you. You've been on my mind a lot lately."

"Good thoughts, I hope."

"Very."

I felt my heartbeat begin to pick up and a heat rise to my face.

She chuckled. "You're an easy read, Maddie."

I tried a casual shrug and indulged in a generous helping of my drink. Fortunately, I was saved by the announcement that our table was ready. Sarah placed a possessive hand on my back as we trailed our hostess and with the gesture, a pleased warmth spread throughout my body. I reluctantly severed the contact as we took our seats and I picked up the menu. When I removed my sunglasses to peruse my options, a chuckle greeted me as I hooked them on the neck of my shirt.

"Where did you get the black eye?"

"Uhmâ€¦ I fell down."

"On to what?"

"A doorframe."

"Ouch," she said sympathetically. "That must've hurt."

"It did. In more ways than one."

She laughed. "Poor thing."

I pursed my lips and nodded in agreement.

She shot me a wink. "So tell me, what exactly does a private eye do?"

"Nothing glamorous."

"Oh?"

"Most of the stuff I do revolves around unfaithful couples."

She smiled knowingly. "So you spy on cheating husbands?"

"Actually, it's split pretty evenly among cheating husbands and cheating wives."

"Really?"

"Yep. Chicks are just as bad."

Her eyes sparkled with amusement. "Is that a fact?"

"In my experience, yes."

"How much experience do you have, Maddie?"

I looked up from my menu. "I've been around the block a few times."

"Was is it an eventful trip?"

"Mostly painful, but if you wanna play, ya gotta travel."

"Do you want to play?"

With an effort, I struggled to keep an impassive expression. Hell yes, I wanted to play! Anticipating an overdue return to the winner's circle, the pit crew maintaining my criminally underused sex drive began to blur into motion. However, the crew chief was cautious; he'd been tricked before. "To be perfectly honest, I'd love to play," I said carefully.

She raised an eyebrow. "But?"

I took a breath. "But, I think I want things to feel right first."

She leaned back in her chair and studied me curiously. "And they don't now?"

I debated. Should I try to open up or just shoot off a flippant remark? A week ago, I probably would've chosen the latter, but today, for reasons unknown, I chose to be sincere. "I just don't know."

Her face became thoughtful. "Are there possibilities with me?"

"If I didn't think so, I wouldn't be here."

A brilliant smile. "Then I'm very fortunate."

I didn't know what to say so I settled for an uncomfortable grin and returned my attention to the menu, acutely aware of her eyes still on me. Finally, she giggled and let me off the hook.

"Would you like to get together tonight?"

"I'm afraid I can't this evening."

She frowned. "Tomorrow then?"

"Uhmâ€¦ Gus's funeral is tomorrow."

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "How about if I give you a call in a couple of days?"

"Okay, I'd like that."

As if sensing my suddenly darkened mood, she deftly steered the conversation into a light small talk that lasted the duration of the meal. It suddenly struck me that I was playing a dangerous game and I should endeavor to make a choice between Sarah and Anabel as quickly as possible. I certainly didn't want to hurt anyone and I already had more enemies than I cared to count. But then again, I was very, very tired of always making the wrong choices. I could only hope that this time, just maybe, I could follow my heart and truly go where it led me.

--------- As Sarah and I stepped into the parking lot, she took my hand and turned a sly look in my direction.

"Which car is yours?"

"That one," I said, pointing a finger.

She rushed ahead and began pulling me toward the Grand Am excitedly.

"What's the hurry?" I asked amusedly.

She stopped in her tracks and turned to face me. "I want a little private time. Indulge me?"

"You bet," I said immediately, taking the lead and pulling her quickly toward the car. As I neared my destination, I noted a previously unobserved feature on the vehicle that Joey had given me. On the rear bumper someone had placed, probably Joey himself, a sticker that read 'Mafia Staff Car'. I chuckled but didn't let it interrupt my forward momentum. If it weren't physically impossible, I would've sworn I was suddenly sporting a boner.

I reached into my jacket for the keys and abruptly found myself pressed pleasantly up against the door, a firm, two-handed grip around my waist that rapidly found its way under my shirt. The hands were cold but warmed rapidly as they flattened against my belly and began to make long, slow circles.

She pressed her body into mine erotically and before I could object, I was rendered almost completely helpless. When she spoke her voice was pitched low and carried with it a sexual charge that left me momentarily breathless. I felt myself lean harder into her embrace.

"I don't think I've ever seen a woman I wanted more than I want you, Maddie."

I swallowed.

"Don't make me wait too long. It's hard to be around you and think straight."

The hands on my belly began a trail upwards and fingertips brushed against the bottom of my breasts. Much to my dismay, a whimper was my only response and as soon as they made contact, her hands dropped again to my stomach. Battling between frustration and relief, my eyes widened in alarm as fingers began to play at the waistline of my jeans, teasingly probing as if they might venture underneath.

I fished for my voice, it wasn't easy to find. "Please don't," I finally managed.

Her hands moved to my hips and prompted me to turn in her embrace. "I guess you can't hurry love," she said with a little smile, coming up on her toes to place a gentle kiss on my lips.

I took a long moment to compose myself. "No, you can't. As much as I'd like to."

"That sounds like experience talking."

"Unfortunately."

She nodded reluctantly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Life is what it is."

A giggle. "You're an odd bird, Maddie."

I shrugged.

"I'll call you soon."

"Please do," I said, unable to resist the urge to lick my lips. She tasted good. Better than good.

She smiled and placed a peck on my cheek. "Are you gonna check me out as I walk away?"

"Uh huh."

"Enjoy the view," she said sexily and turned to saunter in the direction of her vehicle.

I did exactly as I was told.

--------- After Sarah drove away, I sat behind the wheel for close to a quarter of an hour and struggled to get my libido under control. For the first time in my life, I understood how sex could be used as weapon. Never before had anyone been able to hold that kind of power over me. My plea for her to stop had been halfhearted at best and if she had refused, there was no doubt in my mind that we'd be doing the nasty right now in full view of anybody who happened by.

I tried to tell myself that I was just weak and it had been way too long since I had gotten any. Way, way, too long. In my current state, and if presented to me at exactly the right time, I'd probably fuck the paperboy. However, I didn't buy it. There was no question that I was pathetically desperate, but there was more to it than that. Perhaps it was my own desire that bothered me or maybe it was because Sarah and I weren't the only ones in the picture. There was Anabel to think about.

As I made my way into traffic, I played Anabel and Sarah against each other, trying to weigh the pros and cons of each. It was an exercise that provided me with no answers and only managed to add to my confusion. A thought suddenly struck me, a thought I considered somewhat profound. Of course, that in itself was kinda meaningless since I occasionally found episodes of 'Buffy' to be profound. Sarah wanted me and made no secret of it. Anabel, on the other hand, would like to be with me, but it obviously wouldn't kill her if it didn't work out. Was I thinking about choosing the path of least resistance?

I shook my head back and forth several times, I had the annoying tendency to over analyze and it always led to disaster. Pushing all thoughts of women from my mind, I decided to focus my attention on other matters and pulled the cell phone from my jacket.

"Winters."

"Hey, Billy. Wanna do me a favor?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"On what it is."

"Verify Tish Binkowski's birth certificate."

"Hmmm, I can do that."

"She had to be fingerprinted as well, can you check that out too? Maybe she'll turn up somewhere."

"Alright. Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of."

"Ya gonna drop the certificate off? I'm not in the office."

"I'm not that far from my office, can I fax it over?"

"Sure."

He was being too brisk. It was out of character. "Something wrong, Billy?"

"Nope, just caught me at a bad time."

"Ahh, then I'll let you get back to it."

"Okay, talk to you later, Maddie."

The phone returned to my pocket and I spent the time it took to get to my office trying to think about nothing at all. I succeeded in doing just that until my piece of shit fax machine threatened to eat Tish's birth certificate. After some choice words and a few strategic blows, it gave in to my wishes and I recovered it intact.

I spent a few moments going through my mail, the majority of which were bills and therefore immediately slam dunked into the garbage can. Always eager for more good news, I decided to listen to my messages, giving up halfway through and deleting the rest. My administrative duties complete, I grabbed my keys and headed for home. The house was a sty and there was no need to clue Anabel in on what a slob I am. She'd find out eventually, but I hoped to keep that knowledge under wraps until we had at least slept together.

III

Four hours later, I awoke with a yawn and looked around at my untidy abode. I had come home and immediately planted myself in front of the television. Suddenly realizing my dilemma, I jumped up with a start and began running around in a minor panic; I hadn't even gone to the store for groceries. Cursing myself for procrastinating, I policed up all the dirty clothes littering the floor and headed for the kitchen, where I paused and surveyed the damage in growing horror. Every dish I owned was filthy and stacked up in the sink and on the counter. Three large Hefty bags filled to capacity were lined up against the cabinets and the kitchen garbage can was overflowing. I ventured cautiously to the sink and instantly turned up my nose at the food encrusted dishes that were cheerfully going about creating a life of their own.

I was disgusting. If I was dating a chick and this is what her kitchen looked like, I'd dump her faster than prunes through a fat man. I wondered if I could hire a cleaning crew that could get here and be done within the next three hours. I was turning for the yellow pages when my cell phone rang. I hurried across the room to dig it out of my jacket.

"Ledoux."

"You know the marina on 59th?" Joey asked.

"Yeah."

"Jimmy will be looking for ya. You met him the other day remember?"

"On my way."

"Make it fast."

I hung up and got into my jacket with a curse. I wasn't expecting Joey's call until well into the night. I'd have to cancel on Anabel. I lifted the phone to dial her number, but on an impulse, entered Billy's number instead.

"Winters."

"Wanna do me another favor?"

"Why is it that every time you call you want something?"

"I'm just special I guess."

"That's debatable. What can I do you for?"

"Anabel is coming over tonight andâ€¦"

"Really?" he interrupted excitedly.

"Yes, and well Iâ€¦uhâ€¦ have to go out for awhile and I don't think I'll be here when she arrives. So I was kinda hoping you would let her in and keep her company for a bit."

"You realize I'm gonna spend a lot of time talking about you, right?"

I sighed. "I knew I could count on you, Billy."

He laughed. "What time do I need to be there?"

"Seven."

"Will do."

"Ohâ€¦ and Billy?"

"Yeah?"

I braced myself for the explosion. "Could you take out the trash andâ€¦"

--------- The sun had almost disappeared by the time I got to the marina. I didn't see any sign of Jimmy so I parked and stepped to the front of the car to light up a smoke. The mere fact that this little get together was taking place near a body of water didn't bode very well at all for Mr. Merchant. He must've pissed the fellas off.

A whistle got my attention and I scanned for the source, finally spotting Jimmy giving me a wave. I strode toward him as I worked on my cigarette and he disappeared when he saw me start to move. When I reached the slips, I looked around again and came up empty.

"Maddie."

I tracked the source of the voice and found him waving at me from beside a cabin cruiser a short distance away. I crushed out my smoke and made tracks in his direction. He ushered me aboard and instantly went about throwing off the lines. A few minutes later, he waved at the pilot and we were under way. Other than myself, it seemed that Jimmy and his accomplice were alone.

"How many on board?" I asked.

"Including you and the corpse?"

I grimaced internally. Merchant was in trouble. Big trouble. "Yeah."

"Five. Your friend is below. Ya want company?"

"Not at first. Can he walk away from this?"

He took a deep breath. "Doubtful."

"What would you need?"

"Impress upon him how serious the situation is. If you can get through to him, we'll discuss it."

"Fair enough."

"Put a rush on, it's fuckin' freezing out here."

That was no lie and I gave him a nod before heading below. As I shut the door behind me, a pinch on the ass sent me hopping forward with a surprised squawk. I spun around to find Sophie's husband chuckling and grinning at me roguishly. Anthony Leone was of average height with rugged good looks and gentle eyes.

"Fuckin'A!" I exclaimed. "Why do guys think scaring me is so goddamn funny?"

"Quit whining and say hello, Maddie. It's been a long time."

I gave him a glare. "Yeah, it has."

"Ya still mad at me?"

Was I? He'd stolen my best friend. All three of us had been close at one point in time. My shoulders slumped, admitting to myself, in an unwelcome second of insight, that he hadn't stolen anything. The only thing he was guilty of was falling in love. I was the one at fault. I'd been the one that had let her slip away. I was the one who started an argument every time we spoke. I was the one who didn't return her calls. It wasn't a lack of effort on Sophie's part, but rather too much effort on my part to separate us. All because I was jealous and mending a broken heart over a love that Sophie couldn't return. It was way past time to make amends.

"No, I'm not mad. If anything I envy both of you," I said, surprising myself and completely baffled over my emerging ability to give a voice to my feelings.

He looked at me strangely. "Envy? Why?"

I hesitated, looking at him carefully. "Because you have each other."

He blinked a few times. "Where's the real Maddie and what have you done with her?"

I rolled my eyes. "Shut the fuck up."

"That's more like it," he said with a grin, but it changed quickly to a scowl. "I was damn sorry to hear about Gus. Sophie was devastated. We know how much you loved him."

I felt tears begin to sting my eyes. "Be quiet, Tony. I don't want to be crying right now," I said, bringing a hand up to quickly wipe at my face.

He nodded. "Does the asshole downstairs have anything to do with Gus?"

"I doubt it, but he could help if he wanted to. What's the story? Jimmy told me we'd be a body light on the trip back."

"He's having a problem understanding that he isn't nearly as powerful as he thinks he is."

I snorted. "Sounds about right."

"I'll be right outside. If you need anything give a holler."

"Okay," I said, turning to go below but pausing at the door. "Tony, how did you get roped into this?"

"Joey was a man short and asked me to ride along. That, and I wanted to see you. Sophie was going to call you today but I asked her to wait until I found out whether or not it she'd regret it."

That stung and I winced. "Was I really that big of a bitch?"

"Do you want a straight answer, Maddie?" he asked dryly. "You weren't the only one that ended up with a broken heart."

I could only nod since there was nothing I could say in my defense. Reluctantly, I made my way down the steps with a weight on my chest and sensing the birth of a massive headache. When I reached the bottom, I made my way into the small room Merchant was in and closed the door behind me.

His eyes widened in surprised recognition, but they quickly turned icy with rage. The fellas had gagged him and handcuffed him to a chair behind a crappy little card table. It was extremely close quarters and I squeezed into the second chair. I leveled an appraising glare on the man and hoped I could make him see reason.

I cleared my throat. "I figure us to be a mile or so offshore by now. I'll remove the gag, but you should realize that screaming won't do anything but piss everybody off. Understand?"

It took him a moment, but he finally nodded.

"Before I remove it you need to know some things. First, there's a very real possibility that you'll die out here. These people don't fuck around and I can't stop them if they decide to do just that. Second, I don't want that to happen because if it does, it'll be my fault. I'm the one responsible for you being here. Surely, a lawyer of your experience understands how the mob does things."

The fury in his eyes died in an abrupt and visible wave of comprehension.

"Have I made the situation perfectly clear?"

This time the nod was quick in coming and I immediately rose to relieve him of the gag.

"Ledoux isn't it?" he rasped.

"Yes, Maddie Ledoux. Would you like something to drink?"

"Please."

I got up again and exited the room long enough to ask Tony to bring down a couple of sodas. When I returned, I sat quietly until the drinks arrived. I extended a Pepsi in Merchant's direction, but stopped short as he tilted his head to one side and shot me a sarcastic look. I almost smiled.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "Tony, can we lose the handcuffs? There isn't anywhere he can go."

He shrugged and handed me the keys before making an exit. I moved the little table out of the way and released his arms from the chair, leaving only the cuffs keeping him bound to the chair by an ankle. A man with a chair attached to his leg would be easy to take down if the situation called for it.

"Thank you," he said as I settled back into my seat. He popped the top of his soda and took a few swallows. "I would never have pegged you for a wise guy with a name like Ledoux."

"I'm not."

He blinked. "You seem to have a lot of pull."

"Joey Vendito is my uncle."

"I see," he said slowly. "What do I have to do to see the sun rise?"

"Truthfully answer any question presented to you and hope I can convince the fellas you'll forget this entire evening ever happened."

"And what would the odds on that be?"

"Not very good."

Much to my surprise, he chuckled. "At least you're honest."

"When we met earlier today, I wasn't kidding. Anything you tell me will stay with me."

"And how would ethics concern me as I sank to the bottom of the lake?"

I couldn't help it. I liked the guy. "Good point," I said with a grin.

"Well, let's hope you're more persuasive with the gentlemen on this boat than you were with me earlier today. What would you like to know?"

"Who paid you to defend Tish Binkowski?"

"I remember the name from this morning, but I don't know a Tish Binkowski."

I narrowed my eyes, but as far as I could tell, he wasn't lying. A light bulb went off. "How about LaTisha Morland? It was her maiden name."

That rang a bell, but he appeared reluctant. "May I ask a question of my own?"

"Sure."

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because Tish is dead and the person that killed her is the same person who killed my Dad."

He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "This is personal then?"

"Very."

"Then I'm extremely sorry, but I don't have any information that can help you."

"Why is that?"

"I was anonymously given four times my normal fee to defend Morland and given a substantial bonus if successful in keeping her from serving any time."

My shoulders slumped in disappointment. "Do you often get paid in secret for defending the guilty?"

He started to reply, but hesitated, obviously measuring his response. "Isn't that a rather hypocritical question considering the circumstances of this conversation?"

I resisted the urge to lash out. "Perhaps."

"Everybody on board at the moment is a criminal, Miss Ledoux."

"Are you including yourself?"

"Of course, although I'd never admit that anywhere but in this room."

"I've broken the law, Mr. Merchant." I said quietly. "And in all likelihood, I'll break it again, but I don't consider myself a criminal. However, the other men on this boat are criminals and they don't feel the need to try and hide it. That in itself, makes them more honorable than most. They don't hurt people for fun, they don't rape women or molest children, they don't exploit you unless you give them the opportunity, and they certainly don't hide behind the guise of good intentions."

"You sound like you admire them."

"In a way, I guess I do."

He looked at me, suddenly thoughtful. "You were a cop, weren't you?"

"Once upon a time."

"I remember you now, your name has been nagging at me all day. You're the one who put the big hurt on Senator Hilary."

"My popularity on that issue is something I wish would just go away."

He chuckled. "No wonder your friend out there didn't bat an eye about leaving you alone with me unrestrained."

Suddenly amused, I smiled. "Don't I look tough?"

"Gimme a break," he scoffed. "You look like a little elf. I'll bet Hilary thought the same thing until he woke up in a body cast."

I tried, but I couldn't quite disguise my grin.

"Are you aware that I was once approached to defend you?"

"Really?" I asked in surprise "Why didn't you?"

He shrugged. "Democrats keep trial lawyers in business. I was advised that representing you wouldn't be in my best interests."

"Gee, there's a shock."

He laughed and shot me an appealing smile. "Are you single, Miss Ledoux?"

I chuckled. "That's an odd question to ask, considering the amount of shit you're currently swimming in."

"I have every confidence you'll convince your companions that I had no idea who I was dealing with, and couldn't resist the opportunity to shoot off my mouth."

I started to laugh. He had said the last with just enough self-demeaning humor to come across as charming. If I were into guys, he'd probably be the type I'd go for. I started to reply, but the door suddenly opened and Tony poked his head in.

"Step outside a second, Maddie."

I rose from my chair and followed him up the stairs. As I took the last step, he turned on me with a befuddled look.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"We grab the guy, rough him up, drag his ass out into the middle of the lake with every intention of leaving him on the bottom, and you're in there laughing with him like he's been chatting you up for the last half an hour."

"We can turn the boat around, he'll keep his mouth shut. He wasn't aware of all the factors. He's also very aware of the consequences."

He grunted reluctantly. "You sure he understands?"

"He's not a fool."

"It's Jimmy's call, but I trust your judgment. I'll run it buy him," he rumbled. "But if he comes down here to look in, you better not let him hear you in there hamming it up with that guy."

"Won't happen again," I said and spun to make my way back down the steps.

I reentered the room and sat back down.

"Should I be worried?" he asked.

"They're talkin' about it. Jimmy's the one in charge and is kinda new. I don't know him as well as the others."

"Don't they all work for your uncle?"

"Yes."

"Then why aren't you in charge?"

"I told you I'm not a wise guy, Mr. Merchant. Joey was just doing me a favor."

"Ah."

"While we're on the subject, I should make it very clear what would happen to you should anything about this evening come back to haunt any of the entities involved."

"No need. I'm quite aware of Mr. Vendito's reputation."

"If they question you, make it a point to say that."

"I'll do that. You speak rather eloquently when you want to, Miss Ledoux. Have you ever considered becoming a lawyer?"

"Not once."

He chuckled.

"Do you know a Sabrina DiCarlo?"

He hummed for a second. "I don't think so."

"How about a Salvotore DiCarlo?"

"Sounds familiar, but I can't place the name. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. Tell me, do you happen to know anyone that Tish Binâ€¦ Morland used to associate with?"

"No, in fact, I only met Tish a total of three times. I never dealt with anyâ€¦" he paused, his brow wrinkling.

"Yes?"

"If I recall correctly, I had a girl come into the office not long after the second time I got Morland off. Told my receptionist that LaTisha informed her that I was her attorney."

My eyebrows started to climb. "Do you have a name?"

"Can't remember it, but it would be in the office records."

"What happened?"

"We sent her away, I don't remember the exact reasons, but she was in trouble for something very minor that another lawyer could help her with for a lot less money. Assuming I live to return to work, I'm sure I â€¦" he trailed off at the sound of footsteps on the stairs, "â€¦Looks like I'm about to find out," he finished amiably.

I kinda admired him. Instead of fidgeting like a man awaiting his execution, he sat there calmly as if expecting to be pleasured by a body slave. This wasn't the first episode of the kind I had participated in, and by this point, those in the hot seat were usually, and quite understandably, reduced to incoherent blubbering.

Jimmy poked his head through the door. "Maddie, Tony told me you have the keys?"

I nodded.

"Uncuff him and bring him up top," he said, disappearing instantly.

I slumped in my chair as soon as the door closed.

"That sounded like bad news."

"Any news is good news."

"Oh?

"If you were going overboard, he would've shot you the second the door opened."

He released a very long, slow breath. "What a relief."

"It ain't over, but you'll be okay as long as you play it straight."

"I'll do my best."

I gave him an apologetic look. "Mr. Merchant, I'm sorry this turned out to be as serious as it did. I admit I wanted to run you through the ringer, maybe even a few broken bones, but I had no intention of endangering your life. "

"You can make it up to me."

"How so?"

"A dinner?"

"I find it strangely amusing, and more than a little flattering, that you would want anything to do with me after tonight."

"Why?"

"Putting the obvious reasons aside, you should know that on the way to the marina, I was wondering how many of your fingers I would get to snap before you broke."

"Five, but only if they were on the same hand."

I grinned and moved the table aside so I could undo the cuffs around his ankle. "That's four more than I would've guessed."

"You underestimate me."

"I don't doubt that."

"And that dinner?"

"We have a small you're straight and I'm not problem."

He fell back against his chair, placing a hand over his heart. "I'm crushed," he said jovially. "Ever consider jumping the fence?"

"If I do, you'll be the first one I call."

"Call me anyway, I'll have that name for you."

"I'll do that," I said, gesturing to the door with a nod. "After you."

--------- To my considerable relief, I watched Merchant get into a cab not long after we arrived back at the docks. I thanked the guys for their assistance and even managed to give Tony a quick, and somewhat hesitant hug before I returned to my car.

My first stop was the grocery and I hurried through the store with my buggy. The only food I currently had at home was an almost empty box of Fruity Pebbles and no milk. I hoped that Anabel wasn't too put out with me for leaving her with nothing to eat and subjecting her to Billy's company for the last hour and a half.

Shopping complete, I smiled as I approached the checkout and noted that I wouldn't have to wait in line. Predictably, a skinny woman with a pierced nose and grungy clothes spotted the opening as well. I quickened my pace but she saw me coming and nonchalantly moved to cut me off at the pass.

I ground my teeth. The chick had an overflowing buggy and my eyes narrowed as I spotted the checkbook in her hand. For Christ's sake, I only had fourteen items in my basket and was going to pay cash! What the fuck did she have going on her life that made it imperative for her to get in line ahead of me? It would have only taken a minute or two to let me go first whereas I'd be standing in line behind her for twenty goddamn minutes. It had to be some sort of power trip.

I simmered silently. If the situation had been reversed, I'd do the considerate thing and let her go before me. I mean shit, I was far from perfect, but at least I had some manners. I held the door open for the person behind me, I didn't light up a cigarette before walking into a convenience store, and I made it a fuckin' point not to fart in the elevator.

I brooded over the subject until I noticed her struggle to withdraw a fistful of coupons from her purse. For the love of God! I leveled an investigative glance at the items she was buying; it was the kinda food I'd buy if just shopping for myself. My eyes sought out her left hand and I wasn't surprised at the absence of a ring.

Fifteen minutes later, she was finally writing out her check and I moved forward to place my items on the belt.

"For a single woman, you sure bought a lot of food," I said in a friendly voice.

She turned to me with a look of condescension and feigned tolerance. "Oh? Why would you think I was single?"

"Because you're uglier than shit."

The nerd running the register blustered an involuntary guffaw and I beamed my best smile at the woman's darkening features, dismissing her and turning my attention to the cashier.

"You'll be happy to know that I'm paying cash and don't have any coupons."

The nerd played along. "That'sâ€¦uhâ€¦ very considerate of you, ma'am," he said, trying his best not to snicker.

"Yes, it is, isn't it?" I said, turning a squint upon the woman who was still rooted in place. "Since I don't have but a few items."

Settling for an insulted huff, the scruffy slag proceeded to stomp toward the exit. I grinned, pleased with myself.

Exactly two minutes and thirty seconds later, I exited the store and ambled to the car, tossing my bags into the passenger seat. My hand was centimeters away from the ignition when a grip in my hair pulled me back hard against the seat. I barely stifled a scream and went immediately for my gun, my fingertips brushing the grip of it before a knife at my throat froze me in place.

"Don't be stupid," a voice whispered in my ear. "Put your hands on top of the steering wheel."

I complied carefully, the hand in my hair was painful and the blade gave me no leeway at all.

"We need to talk, Matilda."

"Do I know you?"

"No, but I know you."

"Would you mind backing up a little? Your breath is bleaching my hair."

A quiet chuckle. "I'm going to relieve you of your weapons. It would be advisable not to move."

My eyes strayed to the rearview as he released me and an arm snaked over my chest, the mirror had been tilted toward the ceiling and I cursed myself for not noticing immediately. After he took my gun, I groaned when he reached behind me to take the second one. I knew then that I was dealing with someone that was not only very serious, but dangerously competent.

"How did you know?"

"I assume you're referring to the gun at the small of your back?"

"Yeah."

"It's my business to know."

"What is it you want?"

"Just conversation. If it goes well, you can have your guns back."

"Can we hurry it along? I have a date."

"I'm going to take the blade away and lean back."

"Thank God. Your breath smells like you brush your teeth with dogshit."

"Don't piss me off. Believe me when I say that if you attempt to turn around, I can, and I will, drive this blade through the seat and into your spine long before you can get a look at me."

I didn't have a shred of evidence to think he wasn't bluffing. "Okay, why don't you start since you have me at a disadvantage."

"My employer wishes to express dismay regarding your current investigation."

"Which investigation is that?"

"The death of your uncle, Augustus Ledoux."

"He was my Dad."

"We both know that's not true in a biological sense."

"What the fuck would you know about it?"

"I know all about you, Matilda. Your father died when you were twelve from an opium-induced stroke. Your mother died when you were three from a variety of untreated venereal diseases."

I caught my breath. "My mother?"

"She was a whore, Matilda."

I started to spin around angrily, but his hand was in my hair and the knife was at my throat immediately. "Don't."

"What the hell would you know about my mother? I never even knew her name."

"Augustus knew."

"How would you know?"

"It's my business to know."

"Let go of me."

"Alright, but if I have to grab you again, I'll put a scar on your face. You're very pretty, it would be a shame to mark you like that."

He released me and I struggled to remain calm. "Just say what it is you came to say."

"Very well. The DiCarlo family expresses sincere regret at the loss of your uncle, but assures you that they had nothing to do with his death."

"And why I should I believe that?"

"Because I could very easily have been sent to kill you, not talk to you."

"Why not just kill me?"

"Because you have friends in the DiCarlo family, Matilda."

"I do?"

"Yes."

"Do you know who killed Gus?"

"No, I don't."

"Can I talk to Sabrina?"

"No."

I sat silently for a moment, mulling things over. A snippet of my conversation with the Frank's popping into my head.

"You're the DiCarlo boogeyman aren't you?"

"That's not very flattering, but it is somewhat accurate."

"You seem to know a lot more than I do. Is there a direction I should be looking in?"

"I honestly don't know."

"I see. Then I guess you've made your point. Are we finished?"

"So it seems."

"Can I have my guns back now?"

"I'll leave them in the backseat. Have a pleasant evening."

I forced myself not to turn around when I heard the door open and close, waiting almost a minute before retrieving my pistols. I felt like throwing a fit. It seemed like everybody knew more than me and the more I learned the more confused I became. Did Gus really know about my mother? Was what the boogeyman said true? Worse, I believed him as far as the DiCarlo's were concerned. They wouldn't have bothered to send a minion to talk to me if they had anything to do with Gus's death. I was running out of suspects and seemingly very far away from any of the answers I really wanted. Angrily, I started the car and pointed it toward home.

IV

I trudged up the stairs with my groceries and inserted the key into the lock. I was in a mood that was proving hard to shake. I sincerely hoped that I could at least disguise it for Anabel's sake.

I came to a complete standstill as soon as I stepped inside. The stereo was playing loudly, and I swore I could smell air freshener. Cautiously, I ventured forward only to freeze again a few paces later. Anabel had her back to me, busily going about running the vacuum back and forth as she gyrated sexily to the stereo. She was cleaning my fucking house! I risked a glance around and corrected myself. She had already cleaned my fucking house! I was horrified at the discovery.

And just where the hell was Billy?

I had a frightening moment. What if Anabel had met Stephanie? No, God just couldn't be that cruel. Besides, Stephanie was safely tucked away in her hermetically sealed, specially constructed stainless steel vault, or in layman's terms, my sock drawer. Surely, Anabel didn't have a reason to be poking around in my bedroom. I winced at the thought, for if it were me, the bedroom would be the first place I'd go snooping. Thankfully, not everyone is as nosy or as shallow as I am, or for my sake, I certainly hoped not.

"Maddie!" Anabel exclaimed suddenly, turning off the vacuum and bouncing over to turn down the stereo. "I was beginning to wonder about you."

"Uhâ€¦ hi."

"I hope you don't mind but I cleaned up a little," she said with a little grin. "Your place was so messy it was beginning to give me the creeps."

I had to chuckle a little at that. "Billy was supposed to keep you company, where'd he go?"

"He got a call after he let me in, he had to run."

"Oh."

"Did you bring me something to eat?" she asked, ambling up and pecking me on the cheek.

I felt my mood begin evaporate. She was just so damn perky it was hard to resist. "Yeah, how does fried chicken sound?"

"Unhealthy, but I'll give it a go."

I smiled. "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner."

"That's okay, you're here now."

"Tell me Billy at least took out the trash."

"Yep, he was doing that when I got here."

"Thank God."

"Don't look so put out."

"Thanks for cleaning up."

"It gave me something to do. Have you been fishing?"

"Uhâ€¦ no."

"You smell like the waterfront."

I lifted an arm and gave myself a sniff. "I do not."

"Yes, you do. Go hop in the shower while I start dinner," she said authoritatively, reaching out to take the grocery bags away from me.

She left me standing there like an idiot as she dumped the bags on the kitchen counter and went about rummaging around for all the things she needed.

"Well, hurry up. I'm not going to do all the work," she said, giving me a little frown.

I turned slowly and made my way toward the bedroom with the distinct feeling that I had somehow lost control over my home, and that I was no longer the one in charge.

--------- When I ventured back into the living room, I paused as I encountered the frown being directed at me from behind the kitchen counter.

"What?" I asked warily.

"I was hoping you'd let your hair down, I've only ever seen it tied back."

Who was I to deny her? I reached up to pull the scrunchy out of my hair and shook my head back and forth. "Better?"

She studied me for a moment. "Much better."

"I'm glad you like it," I said, feeling more than a little shy as she sauntered toward me and curiously ran her hands through my hair.

"It's very beautiful," she said quietly. "Mostly black but it has red in it too, do you dye it?"

"No!"

She giggled. "God, you're sensitive."

"Humph."

"Go fry me some chicken whilst I lounge around in front of the TV," she said, swatting me on the ass and marching across the room to flop down on the sofa.

Given my orders and dismissed, I wandered into the kitchen obediently to find a prepared salad, a heaping of fried potatoes, and the chicken out and ready for batter. I risked a glance at Anabel, but she was already sprawled out on the couch and apparently happy to ignore me until dinner was ready.

Vastly baffled at her behavior, I busied myself with the chicken. I was tempted to help myself to some of the potatoes, but just as I was caving, a voice wafted in from the other room.

"I counted the taters so you better stay out of them."

Foiled, I mumbled under my breath. Could she read minds?

"You're lucky I didn't hear that."

I shot her a glare. What the fuck?

Grumbling, I slaved in the kitchen until the food was ready. This domestic shit was for the birds. Frying chicken all by myself seemed like a monumental task. The only reason I knew how to prepare it was because I'd helped Gus make it several times. How had the man cooked for me all those years and not gone mad? No wonder we ate out twice a week.

"Dinner's ready," I called out.

"I can't wait."

I stared at her for over a minute, but it quickly became obvious that she had no intention of rising from the sofa. I scowled when I realized that she expected me to bring it out to her. Jesus, she hadn't even let me feel her up yet!

"Maddie, I hunger!"

I stomped my foot and began to cart plates out to the coffee table, giving her a disgruntled look as I deposited them in front of her. When she could be bothered to cast her eyes away from the television, all I got in return was an amused giggle.

"Don't forget the ketchup."

I spun on my heel, and proceeded to usher out the rest of the food in supreme agitation.

"Would her Majesty like a drop cloth?" I asked when everything was in place.

She sat up excitedly. "No, thank you. Everything looks delicious," she said, energetically going about filling her plate.

I stared at her in bewilderment.

"Are you going to join me?" she asked, gracing me with a sideways glance.

"I thought I should stand here at the ready in case you decide you need something else."

She laughed. "You've been spoiled, Maddie. Stop being a baby and take a seat," she said, patting a place beside her on the cushions.

I reluctantly sat down and began to fill a plate, not quite sure how I felt about the evening so far.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I guess."

"What's the longest relationship you've ever had?"

That was one question I certainly didn't want to answer so I stalled for time. "What was yours?"

She gave me a casual shrug. "Never really had one."

"Huh?"

"I've always been busy, you know, business to run and all that."

"No kidding?"

"No kidding."

"Have you everâ€¦ uhmâ€¦"

"A couple of times, nothing worth noting. You gonna answer my question now?"

I fidgeted. "Is the chicken okay?"

She grinned. "It's great. Just tell me, you won't surprise me."

I sighed. "A month."

"A whole month?"

"Well, almost a month," I admitted, giving her a dirty look.

A chuckle. "Why did she leave you?"

"I left her," I said indignantly.

"Liar."

I felt a sulk coming on so I clammed up and looked away from her. Unbelievably, she carried on with her meal like she could care less and proceeded to ignore me. Fuckin'A, she had a lot of nerve! She makes me wait on her hand and foot, calls me a spoiled baby, gets me to open up, laughs at me, and then calls me a liar. Why was I putting up with this?

"When was the last time you had sex?"

"What?" I asked in surprise.

"How long?"

"None of your business."

"Must've been a long time then," she said, throwing in a sympathetic look that only managed to piss me off.

"I don't think is going to work out."

"Why do you think that?" she asked, not bothered in the slightest.

"I just do."

"I don't."

"What do you know that I don't?"

"I can tell you what I think. Who knows anything for certain?"

"Then by all means, tell me what you think."

"I think you've been looked after all your life and encouraged to be too independent for your own good. You don't want to change, or maybe you want to, but you're not sure how to do it."

I rose to my feet. "I'm not about to sit here and listen to someone I've only known a few days psychoanalyze me. I think you should leave."

"Make me."

My jaw hit the floor. Did she just say what I think she said? "Are you baiting me?"

"Maybe."

"Don't."

"Will you hurt me, Maddie? You're certainly capable of it. You hurt people all the time."

My hands clenched into fists.

"What happened to you, Maddie?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I don't like that word, please don't use it around me."

"Right now, I don't give a flying fuck what you like."

She launched herself off the sofa before I could blink and, to my complete shock, she slapped my face. I stood rooted in place for what seemed like an hour. When I managed to speak, it came out as a rasp.

"Get out."

"No."

"Get out before I throw you out."

"Grow up," she said, retaking her seat on the sofa and picking up her plate.

I took a step forward, barely catching myself before I could take another.

"It isn't easy, is it?"

I clasped my hands together to keep them from shaking. "Please tell me why you're doing this?"

"Because you need someone who can."

"Someone who can do what?"

"Gus loved you too much to hurt you and like you said, I've only known you a few days."

"Don't talk about Gus," I growled, so close to snapping I was afraid for both of us.

"You're a nasty bitch, Matilda."

My control fled and I raged forward to grab her by the front of her shirt, lifting her off the couch, spilling her plate, and so angry, I managed to suspend her in the air several inches off the floor.

What followed next was, without a doubt, the most utterly unbelievable moment of my life. She embraced me tightly, wrapping her legs around my waist and laying an open mouth kiss on me that chased away the fury in an instant. Struck completely dumb, my ass hit the floor with her in my lap.

She wrapped her hands in my hair and prodded me on to my back. Determinedly placing kisses on my mouth and face until I began to respond. Finally, she gave me a reprieve and withdrew to toss her glasses on the coffee table. I watched in a flabbergasted silence as she pulled her shirt over her head and put her hands behind her to unclasp her bra.

Holy God! I wish I could describe how wonderful it felt to see a set of gazoobers that weren't my own. They were gorgeous. She was gorgeous. I felt my body react with a long suppressed vengeance. My nipples hardened into bullets and the bud was in full bloom.

She collapsed on top of me and captured my mouth with an intensity that made me whimper. I was completely under her power. I was hers. When she leaned over and offered me her breasts, I worshiped them eagerly. Quite willing to happily spend the rest of my life lying there in devotion. She suddenly rose to her feet, depriving me of her gift and I groaned my disapproval.

My eyes focused on her hands as she stood above me, holding my breath as they fell to her waist and slowly removed her pants. She stepped out of them one leg at a time and when she revealed herself to me, I was afraid I might pass out with the want of having her. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Her eyes met mine and she stepped forward hesitantly, wanting my consent. I squirmed with impatience, perilously close to begging. "Please," I croaked.

She began to lower herself toward me, but I couldn't wait. As soon as I could get a grip on her, I pulled her down hungrily. I was overcome with excitement at the contact and panted my desire into the heat of her. As she started to grind into me, I groaned with the bliss of it. I loved how wet she was. I loved the way she tasted. I loved every one of the little sounds she made. When her release came, I nuzzled into her as deep as could, wanting to savor everything, wanting to feel everything. It was over entirely too soon and I gripped her hips demandingly, needing more and wanting frantically to continue.

She backed away slowly and I growled my dissatisfaction, reluctantly letting her retreat. A hand cupped my cheek lovingly and I encountered a gaze that regarded me with a surprising tenderness. She leaned over me again and gently kissed me, exploring lightly until she released me again and resituated herself. Her back to me, she straddled my chest as she started to remove my sweats. I enjoyed the view while she labored, waiting for her to complete her task and then spreading my legs invitingly.

"Oh, my."

They were the first words she'd spoken since calling me a bitch and I was suddenly self-conscious.

"What's wrong?" I asked worriedly.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

She ran a hand over me and my nails dug savagely into the carpet.

"I could stare at you for hours, Maddie."

Her words only succeeded in bringing me to the edge and I was deliriously aware that another touch, however slight, would send me plummeting into the abyss. She began to slide her hips over me, backing toward me to offer herself again. I accepted readily, my hands roaming over a delightful ass as I pulled her close, wanting to taste her when I came. Arms encircled my legs and I could feel her breath on me as she descended.

I think I may have screamed.

I'm not really sure since I allegedly fainted.

--------- For the first time in longer than I care to admit, I didn't wake up horny. In fact, as I stretched extravagantly under the covers, I purred with satisfaction. It was a brave new world. I spent a few moments in insight and was delighted to discover that my night with Anabel felt right. There was no guilt or regret. I'd made the right choice or rather; Anabel had made it for me. I giggled with pleasure.

"You gonna get up?"

The smile on my face felt absurd and I rolled over to find Anabel regarding me from the bathroom doorway wrapped in a towel.

"Maybe," I rumbled.

She walked over and climbed on to the bed, carefully kneeling beside me. "Why were you laughing?"

I shrugged. "Just happy."

She smiled bashfully, but then gave me a serious look. "We need to talk, Maddie."

My smile vanished and I felt the beginnings of panic. I hated those words. Anything said after that was guaranteed to be unpleasant, and probably painful.

"Don't you want to be with me?" I asked, disturbed at how small my voice sounded.

Her features softened. "Of course I do."

"Then what do you want to talk about?"

"Me and you."

"Is something wrong?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"You need to realize that to keep me, you're going to have to work at it."

I frowned confusedly. "What does that mean?"

"It means that you're cynical, selfish, hateful, rude, and just plain mean."

Gee whiz! Those were not the sweet nothings I expected to hear after a wild night of monkey love.

"I'm willing to tolerate it, but I'm not willing to accept it as a fact of life. I believe you're a good person at heart and I think you're special, but you need to get yourself together."

I contemplated this in a worried silence, doubt darkening my previous euphoria. Had I made the wrong choice after all?

"What happened to you, Maddie?"

"What do you mean and why do you think you know enough about me to say the things you just did?"

"Gus was my friend. He talked about you often, long before he approached me as a possible suitor."

I rose to lean my back against the headboard. "What did he tell you about me?" I demanded.

"He was worried about you."

My anger began to rise. "Why? And why did he talk to you instead of me?"

"There were things he felt uncomfortable talking to you about."

"Gus could talk to me about anything!"

"Maybe I phrased that wrong. There were things he was afraid to talk to you about because he feared he'd make a mess of things."

"Like what?"

She took a deep breath. "He hated to see you so alone. It bothered him a lot and you seemed to push away everybody who tried to get close."

I began to boil over, outraged that she knew a shitload about me and I knew next to nothing about her. I was always in the dark and it pissed me off. "If you think I'm so fucked up then why did you consent to date me?"

"Please don't use that word."

I bit my tongue. "Fine. Just answer my question."

"Because I think I fell in love with you long before we actually met."

The wind left my sails in a rush and I gaped at her. "What?"

"Did you ever read a story where you connected with a character so strongly that you wanted to meet them, know them, or even love them?"

"Iâ€¦I guess," I stuttered, not sure where she was going.

"Well, Gus told me a story and you were that character. He loved you so much that I guess a little of that rubbed off on me."

I blinked a few times, dismayed at the tears that had started to build. Gus was always looking out for me, even after he was gone. "Whyâ€¦ did Gus choose youâ€¦ for me?" I was struggling not to cry, but it was a question I needed an answer to.

She beamed a brilliant smile. "Because he knew I wouldn't put up with your bullshit."

I barked a laugh that turned into a sob. Troubled, I brought a hand up to cover my mouth. Anabel scooted closer, running a hand over the top of my head and offering me a shoulder to cry on. A little piece of me, a very little piece, wanted to resist but it was quickly silenced. I fell forward into her arms and wept like a fuckin' pansy.

--------- I was close to running late as I got of the shower and when I reentered my bedroom, Anabel was reclining on the mattress, an elbow cocked to support her head.

"I picked out some clothes for you."

So she was dressing me now?

"They're on the back of the closet door."

I padded over to look, trying my best not to frown. "Did you pick out my underwear too?"

"Yep. But you have to let me watch you put them on."

I grinned a little at that. I opened the closet door to find my suggested wardrobe hanging neatly on separate hangers.

Grudgingly, I had to admit that she had impeccable taste. I couldn't have done better myself. Of course, I wouldn't have chosen to wear the thong. I turned around and presented it to her with an eyebrow raised in question.

"You don't want panty lines do you?"

"I don't like thongs, they ride up on me."

"They're supposed to ride up on you, Maddie."

I guess I couldn't argue with that so I removed them from the hanger and dropped my towel. After I got them on, I reached for my bra but was called up short.

"Not so fast, come model for me."

"You've got to be kidding."

"You have an amazing body. Come over here and show it off."

I wasn't sure I liked that idea, but I turned around and walked over to edge of the bed, a little uncomfortable at being on display.

"Yummy."

I started to blush a little and got a giggle in response.

"You certainly weren't shy last night."

The blush deepened.

"Turn around."

I spun, thankful that I was no longer facing her.

"Wiggle your hips a little."

"If I do, can I go put my clothes on?"

"Okay, but it has to be a sexy wiggle."

I rolled my eyes. Embarrassed, but more than a little turned on.

"I'm waiting."

I bent over slightly and shook my ass at her.

"Oh, baby."

I stood up straight and hurried back over to the closet, a teasing laughter trailing after me.

"Get over it, Maddie. I've already seen you naked in about every position imaginable."

My mind flooded with recent memories, leaving me feeling a little lightheaded." Yeah, I guess you have."

"Then what's the problem?"

Good question. "I dunno."

"Hmmm, I guess you'll figure it out," she said cryptically.

I chewed on that while I got into my clothes. Anabel had chosen black slacks with a matching blouse and vest. She'd also remembered my aversion to heels and picked out a pair of black pumps.

"Would you like me to braid your hair?"

"I thought I'd just leave it down."

"Okay, that's a really good look for you."

"It is?"

"Oh, yeah."

I smiled, but then it hit me why I was getting dressed up and I faltered. I was so glad that Woody had made all the arrangements; I don't think I could've done it.

"Hey now, don't you go ruining your makeup," Anabel said, rolling off the bed and grabbing a Kleenex from the nightstand. She hurried over and began dab at my eyes. "You okay?"

I took a shaky breath. "It's going to be a tough day."

"I know it is. You'll get through it."

"Will you sit with me for the service?"

"Of course."

I was pathetically relieved. "Thanks."

"You don't have to thank me, Maddie," she chided. "You about ready?"

"I was gonna paint my nails, but I can't keep my hands from shaking," I admitted reluctantly.

She grabbed a hand and led me into the other room. "What color do you want?" she asked as she seated me at the kitchen counter.

"Red, I think."

"Okay."

She left me alone for a minute and I struggled to get myself under control. I had lied. It wasn't just going to be a tough day. Tough wasn't even close to strong enough a word. I hadn't even left the house and I was already beginning to blubber.

When Anabel returned, she sat down across from me and went about the business of painting my nails. She hummed comfortingly as she worked and I wondered how difficult the day would be, would already be, without her. I didn't ask her to be here yet here she was. It hit me abruptly that I had more than just a lover, I had a friend. Someone who cared about me and, if I was to believe what she told me earlier, even loved me. I guess I had a lot to think about.

"There we go," she announced with satisfaction.

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, Maddie."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because I'm not performing a service for you. I'm doing it because I want to."

"I see."

"No, you don't. But you will."

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"You don't intimidate me. Stop trying."

"Why do you make me feel like I don't know half as much as I think I do?"

"Because you don't. But I shall teach you, Grasshopper."

I chuckled. "Shut up."

She laughed, obviously amused with herself. "We ready to go now?"

"Just need my jacket and my gun."

She scowled. "You won't need a gun today and you're not wearing that jacket, it smells like cigarettes."

I started to protest, but gave in with a sigh. "Then I suppose you've picked out something for me to wear, Mother?"

"Yes, I have. I'll go get it," she said, rising to her feet but pausing to whisper in my ear. "And your mother wouldn't lick every inch of your body or sit on your face, Maddie."

I was glad she didn't loiter long enough to see my reaction, which was a shiver that shook me from my toes to the roots of my hair. I couldn't fight off the disturbing sensation that I had stumbled into something that left me in way over my head.

"Here ya go," she said from behind me.

I turned to find her holding the black Irish walking cape that Joey had bought me for Christmas a couple of years ago. I'd never worn it. Dutifully, I pulled it over my head and settled it into place.

"God, you're beautiful."

I gave her a smile. "So are you."

"I know," she said, grabbing my hand and leading me toward the door. "You're gonna be late if we don't hurry."

I swallowed my apprehension and put on my sunglasses as we walked out to the car. Once we were traveling, my mind worried over the events of the day and the burden began to weigh on me. Everything seemed so imminent and I wanted nothing more to run back into the house and hide until the day was over.

"Everything okay?"

"What gave me away?"

"You're chewing on your lip."

"Oh."

"Trust me, you'll survive."

"I don't know how people do this."

"Do what?"

"Say goodbye."

"It isn't easy," she whispered. "I know what you're feeling."

"Do you?"

"I've said goodbye to both my parents."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"Will you tell me about it?"

She sighed. "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to adjust to. I never felt more alone, or so vulnerable."

My eyes began to sting. "How do you get past it?"

"You don't. It hurts today as much as it did then; you just learn to deal with it. Time makes it easier."

I didn't trust my voice so I tried to focus on the road. She reached over and took one of my hands. She didn't say anything and I was glad. A minute or two longer and I would've had a complete breakdown. We rode in silence until I pulled up in her little driveway.

She squeezed my hand and leaned over to kiss me. "I'll see you in a little while, okay?"

"Okay."

"You'll be fine, I promise," she said, pecking my cheek and reaching for the door.

"Annie!"

She stopped and turned around to face me. "Hmmm?"

I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but I was suddenly terribly afraid of being alone. "I...I..."

"Shh, I'll see you soon."

I could only manage a nod and she patted me on the leg before she got out. I watched her walk up to the door, working up an unconvincing smile when she shot me a wave, and damn near bursting into tears as she disappeared inside.

V

I eyed the house across the street from me with trepidation. It wasn't the kind of house you would expect a crime boss to live in for it was just a modest dwelling in old neighborhood. You would be hard pressed to find a difference between it and the home I grew up in, a home only a couple of blocks away.

There were reasons why I was afraid to get out of my car and enter the all too familiar house. Things had changed. I hadn't seen Sophie since I left for the Army and I had a lot to apologize for. She never gave up on me, even though she probably should have. Was I completely over her? They say nothing endures like first love. Would she forgive me?

The last few days had given me a lot to consider and unfortunately, none of it was good. I had put so much effort into not thinking about it that I never allowed myself to realize just how badly I had treated her. All she had ever wanted was to be my friend and for a long time that's exactly what she was. The very best friend. We shared everything together and had no secrets between us. That is, until I fell in love. Of course, she fell in love as well, it just wasn't with me. Suddenly, we both had secrets to keep.

Until very recently, I couldn't remember a more horrible moment in my life than when she told me she was going to marry Tony. I'd never felt so completely betrayed. I threw a world-class tantrum a toddler could only look upon with envy, stormed from the house and spent the night on the lakefront bawling my eyes out.

With a great deal of effort, accompanied by some subtle threats from Gus, I bottled everything up and maintained a somewhat civil attitude, even managing to be her Maid of Honor. A day burned into my memory with indescribable pain. It had been beyond gut wrenching. I stood beside her at the ceremony, trying to look happy for her, but totally unable to stifle the tears flowing over my cheeks in rivers. As soon as it was over, I ditched the reception and ran all the way home, curling up in a little ball on the floor next to my bed. I wanted to die.

After the wedding, everything rocketed downhill. I wanted her to hurt as much as I did, and I took every opportunity I could get. I knew every button to push and I pushed them over and over again. I was fuckin' despicable.

Still, she kept trying to get through to me no matter how malicious I became. I couldn't be around her and I couldn't forgive her so when I graduated from college, I joined the Army. It worked for the most part, but she tracked me down religiously twice a year. Every Christmas and every birthday she either called or sent me a card. I never replied to the cards and when she called, I tried to make it as difficult as possible.

Sadly, now that I could see things in a different light, I had no excuse for my behavior. She loved me, of that I was certain. It was almost ten years later, and she still hadn't given up hope. The calls had been infrequent the last few years, but she still made them. How could I say I was sorry? How could I say that it wasn't her, but me that I needed to forgive? How could I say that I was just too childish to deal rationally with the situation? How could I say that what I understand now, I didn't then?

I looked at my watch and took a deep breath. It was time to pay the fiddler. I checked my face in the mirror and gave myself a gut check before climbing out of the car. As I puttered across the street, a painful throbbing started in my forehead and I sorta hoped it was the first stage of a fatal stroke.

I ended up standing on the front porch staring at the door, thoroughly incapable of mustering up the courage to ring the bell. I don't know exactly how long I stood there and I probably would've frozen to death, if Joey's wife hadn't opened the door and found me.

"Maddie!" Carla exclaimed in surprise, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the house. "You look like you're freezing, honey. Did you walk over here?"

"No, I was justâ€¦ I meanâ€¦ I guess I lost track of time."

"Foolish girl. Let's get you something warm to drink," she said, leading me into the living room where a crowd had gathered.

Before I knew it, a toddy was thrust into my hand and I was surrounded.

"I'm glad you're here, Maddie," Woody said. "There's something I'd like to talkâ€¦"

"It can wait, Woody," Joey interrupted, coming up behind him. "Maddie, get yourself upstairs. You know the way."

I swallowed.

He bumped Woody aside and leaned over to whisper in my ear, relieving me of my drink. "It'll only hurt a little and it's way overdue."

My throat constricted, but I managed a nod. Of course, he actually had to give me shove to get me moving. I made my way across the room, sensing that at that moment, I knew exactly what death row convicts felt like as they were ushered to the electric chair. Tony caught my eye as I reached the stairs, and there was no mistaking the warning in his expression. I sighed and plodded up the steps.

Far too soon, I was again standing in front of a door. I decided that thinking was my biggest problem and I was only prolonging the inevitable. With a rush of rapidly fading bravery, I reached out and completed a short knock.

"Come on in."

I extended an unsteady hand and stepped inside, catching my breath and fairly confident that I was tense enough to shit an 84-karat diamond. She had her back to me and was fussing over her dress in the mirror. I closed the door behind me and she turned at the sound.

She gasped in surprise, her hands rising to cover her mouth.

"I haven't changed that much have I?"

"Oh, Maddie," she whined, her eyes shining.

She took a hesitant step toward me, but caught herself as if unsure of her reception.

"Iâ€¦I've missed you," I rasped weakly.

"I've missed you too. I've missed you so much," she cried.

I began to crumble, but I wanted to say it. I needed to say it. "I'm so very, very sorry, Sophie," I choked, trying to ignore the moisture starting to rage from my eyes. "I'd giveâ€¦ anythingâ€¦ to go back and change the way I acted. I've been a hideous, jealous bitch and you have no reason, no reason at all, toâ€¦ forgive me. Iâ€¦ I can only prayâ€¦ that you will."

She rushed across the room and I tensed, half expecting a slap or perhaps a light pummeling. Instead, she smothered me in a hug and wept hysterically into my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her, the weight that had been slowly driving me into the ground evaporating in her embrace. The relief was so poignant it made me dizzy and I likened it to an epiphany. I didn't know how she could, or why she would, but I was forgiven. Just like that. I could hardly believe it and it took a moment for it to really sink in. When it did, the tears that gushed forth were no longer heartsick, but tears of joy.

--------- Close to an hour later, I was seated on her little bed, her head in my lap while I played contentedly with strands of her mousy brown hair. She was still as beautiful as I remembered. An inch shorter than I was with deep brown eyes and a body that could've made Michael Jackson give up little boys.

We had spent the last twenty or so minutes gossiping and catching up with each other. The past apparently thrust behind us, it seemed like old times. I couldn't have been happier.

"Do you have somebody, Maddie?"

"I think so."

"You think?"

"It's very new and sometimes I'm not sure she even likes me."

She rolled around to look up at me. "What do you mean?"

"We've only know each other a few days, but she's already slapped my face and called me, among other things, a bitch."

"How did you meet her?"

"Gus kinda set us up. Then Joey and Billy jumped on board."

A chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"Sounds to me like they picked the perfect girl."

My brows knit. "Why do you say that?"

"Never mind."

"No, tell me. I really want to know."

"You won't get mad?"

"No."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

She took a deep breath. "You've always been arrogant and unpredictable, Maddie. You want everything your way and if you can't have it, you tend to lash out. You need someone strong enough to make you stop and think about what you say and do every once in a while. Gus could put you in your place, and my Dad, but you drifted away when you left for the Army. I don't think you've let anyone else have that kind of power over you since."

I contemplated this in a thoughtful silence, unable deny that it hit a little too close to home.

"Are you mad?"

"No. Just thinking about stuff."

"Okay."

"That was painfully accurate."

"Yeah, it was."

"We haven't really talked or known each other in a long time, Sophie. How can you see me so clearly when I'm apparently blind to everything around me?"

"A few reasons, wanna hear?"

"Yeah."

"Even though you ran away from me, I couldn't let you go. I talked to Gus and Dad all the time, getting all the news about you that they knew or that they would tell me. They were very informative."

"Sophie," I said sadly.

"There's more. It's the most important reason."

I nodded, rubbing at my eyes.

"I love you, Maddie."

I sobbed. "I love you too. That's why I had to go."

"I knew you loved me. I always knew. But you didn't have to leave."

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"Because it hurt too much to see you with someone besides me."

"We were never going to be lovers, Maddie. You had to know that."

"Maybe I did. I just didn't want to believe it and I couldn't help how I felt."

"I couldn't help how I felt either. I found a husband but I lost my best friend. There've been a lot of times I needed you, and a lot of times I wanted to be there for you. It's hurt me for a very long time that you wouldn't or couldn't understand how much you mean to me. I wish we could've had this conversation years ago."

"I wasn't ready to have it."

"I can understand that. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I didn't want to."

"I know you didn't. It just took me some time to realize it."

She smiled at me and gave my belly a poke. "So tell me about your girlfriend. Is she pretty?"

"She's beautiful."

"Will I meet her today?"

"Yes."

"Have you boinked her?"

I gaped.

"So you have. How interesting," she purred teasingly. "Only known her for a few days and she's slapped you, called you names, and slept with you."

I frowned. It all sounded pretty pitiful when stated like that. "That makes me sound so cheap."

She giggled. "I know you're not cheap, Maddie. I just find it interesting."

"How so?"

"Because it sounds to me like she's got you right where she wants you."

--------- When we finally arrived at the chapel, the misery of the day fell heavily about me. Billy was waiting for us in his dress blues, and ushered us inside. There was barely enough room for one to find a place to stand and bodies lined the walls. It was a sea of black and blue, cops and robbers intermingling without prejudice.

I saw faces that I hadn't seen for years, some welcome and some not, but they were all present to pay their respects. My legs felt like lead and the journey to the empty pew directly in front was a long one. It was the place reserved for family and a place I'd never believed I'd have to sit. Gus had been a man of immense strength, and I always thought he'd be there for me forever. He was the rock at the center of my world. Dealing with the idea of him being mortal was something I'd never bothered to entertain and now that I was faced with it, my world seemed so suddenly empty and chaotic.

As we were being seated, I managed to grab Billy's arm. Whispering to him in a voice I couldn't recognize as my own. "Have you seen Anabel?"

"No, Maddie."

I burst into tears at the news, embarrassing myself in front of God and everybody. He helped me into my seat and Sophie took my hand in hers.

"I'll bring her up front when she gets here, Maddie," he whispered before withdrawing.

I could only nod and sit there weeping, totally unwilling to look at the coffin I knew was at the front of the room. I felt disassociated from everything, and wanted nothing more than to be able to crawl into a dark hole and never come out. I lost all sense of time and could focus on nothing but the hopefully fatal pain encompassing me.

A nudge from Woody elicited no response, although I was dimly aware of him rising to his feet from beside me. An arm slipped under mine as a body saddled up next to me, and my hand was grasped tightly. I was afraid to look, but I did anyway.

I almost didn't recognize her. Dressed in a sleek black suit with her hair tied into a severe bun that made it look short, she smiled at me from behind a pair of sunglasses.

"Sorry I'm late."

My head dropped to rest on her shoulder and I sat there wiping my eyes in relief. Her presence giving me the strength I needed to carry on for a little while.

And carry on I did. I had some pretty bad moments but the worst came with the eulogy that Joey stood up to deliver. He started to sniffle at the halfway point and I broke down completely, sobbing my way though the end of the service and out on to the street to take my place.

Marching through the cold managed to sober me a little, and I squeezed Anabel's hand as tightly as I dared. Afraid to let her go, needing her to keep me grounded.

I hated funerals and I hated this one with a passion. How I persevered through the graveside service is a mystery to me. I could only stand there bawling, wishing that the flag they were folding would be presented to me. I resented Woody more at that moment than I ever resented anything in my life. It was petty and irrational, but I felt it just the same. He was Gus's son and I was only his niece. I suddenly, and very intensely, hated Woody. I watched with helplessly watering eyes as the man approached.

I gasped when he stopped in front of me and extended the flag. My knees went weak and I felt myself begin to sway. It had to be a mistake, God was just twisting the knife. I managed to crane my neck to the side and meet Woody's eyes.

He just nodded.

It was the ultimate gift and I stumbled at the magnitude of it. An arm around my waist kept me on my feet and I accepted it with trembling hands, instantly clutching it to my chest possessively. The world started to spin and I was horrified. I was going to collapse in front of everybody and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I could feel Anabel struggling to keep me upright, but she was faltering. Unexpectedly, I felt a much stronger arm prop me up from the other side and Woody spoke softly in my ear.

"Hang in there. It's almost over."

He shook me a little and I sluggishly got myself together. A few minutes later, I was being led to the limo. Inside the car, I rested my face hard against the window. I wanted to feel the cold, knowing that it would keep me somewhat lucid until I could find a place to waste away.

Everyone piled in after me and I was aware of Anabel whispering to me comfortingly, but I couldn't reply. She took my hand, stroking the top of it tenderly until we returned to Joey's house. I walked inside like a zombie and stood in the living room, vaguely aware of the questions being directed at me yet unable to hear them.

"I want to lay down," I said.

"Let's take her upstairs, we can put her in my bed," Sophie said. "Help me, Anabel."

They escorted me to the bedroom and I took the last steps to the bed in a rush. Throwing myself on top of it and curling up instantly, wanting to make myself as small as possible so the despair might overlook me. I was aware I had observers, but I didn't care. I cuddled my flag tightly and cried until I finally, and mercifully, fell asleep.

--------- "Maddie."

I grunted.

"Come on, sweetie. You need to get up."

A hand shook me and I grumbled incoherently.

"Mom's downstairs making a huge breakfast."

I ignored the voice, hoping it would go away.

"She's making banana pancakes," Sophie sung teasingly.

Now this got my attention and I cracked open an eye to find her hovering over me. "Really?"

"Are they still your favorite?"

I nodded.

"Then you better get up or the guys will eat them all before you get down there."

I scowled. "They better not."

A chuckle. "Rise and shine."

I grudgingly sat up, rubbing at my eyes.

"God, what a cranky face."

"Shut up," I mumbled, realizing with a start that something was missing and I looked around in growing panic. "Whâ€¦where's myâ€¦"

"It's right there, Maddie," she interrupted quickly, pointing to the to top of her dresser. "Anabel put it there last night after you conked out."

I sighed deeply in relief but then I looked around again. "Where's Anabel?"

"She stayed with you all night, Maddie."

"She did?"

"Uh huh, she tried to get someone to work for her today but couldn't get a hold of anybody. She had to leave about an hour ago and was very upset about it. She wanted to be here when you woke up."

I felt a stupid smile take shape.

"I think you got a keeper there, Maddie. You better not mess it up."

"Isn't there a chance she could mess it up instead of me?"

"Nope."

I frowned. Why was I always the one in the big black hat? "Why's that?"

Sophie bounced on to the bed beside me excitedly. "She's great, Maddie! We talked about you for hours last night!"

I gave her an ugly look, not liking the sound of that at all.

She gave me a swat. "Don't get all pissy. She had nothing but nice things to say about you."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"What did she say?"

"Oh, just girl stuff."

"Such as?"

"Well, she said you make a funny face when you come andâ€¦"

"She did not!" I practically roared.

She fell on to her back, overcome with giggles. I crossed my arms over my chest indignantly and waited impatiently for her to finish.

"No wonder the guys still pick on you," she snickered after a moment. "You're such an easy mark."

I rolled my eyes and glared at the ceiling.

She gave me a poke. "Stop pouting, Maddie."

"Humph."

Another quick laugh and she climbed off the bed. "Go wash your face and come down to breakfast. Mom was almost done when I came up here."

"Okay," I grumbled, throwing the covers off and rising to my feet. I was still fully dressed from the day before and was suddenly overcome with sadness. My eyes started to water as they wandered over to the folded flag sitting on top of the dresser.

"Hey," Sophie said gently, coming over to take my hand. "There'll be plenty of time for that later. Let's go have some pancakes," she added, tugging me toward the door.

I let her lead me to the bathroom and was appalled by the reflection waiting for me in the mirror. "I look like hammered shit."

"You do not," she said softly. "I wish I was half as pretty as you."

I blinked. Did she really think that? I always thought that of the two of us, she was the gorgeous one. But then again, I'd been in love with her for a long time. "You'll always be beautiful to me, Sophie."

She beamed a smile. "Don't let Anabel hear you say that."

"Oh? Why?"

"I think she felt a little threatened by me."

I sighed. As far as Anabel was concerned, I didn't have a goddamn secret left to my name.

"Don't fret over it, Maddie. She had your number anyway."

I stared at my reflection. Was I really that fuckin' transparent? I shook my head to clear my thoughts and started to wash my face.

"I'll be waiting for you downstairs, okay?"

I grunted an affirmative and looked after my morning necessities, ambling down the stairs a few minutes later. The living was room was still a mess from the previous evening and I headed for the kitchen, the sounds of a boisterous conversation coming from within. A little self-conscious, I tried to slip quietly into the crowd.

"Maddie!" Carla thundered, announcing my arrival to the entire neighborhood. "Pull up a chair, I cooked up a big batch of pancakes just for you."

I grinned. I'd been a little worried the guys would eat them all just because they knew I liked them. It wouldn't have been the first time. The jerks.

I took a seat in the empty chair next to Sophie and looked around the room. Woody, Billy, and Joey were arguing good-naturedly over something while Tony and Jimmy mumbled to each other. Sophie patted my leg and a smile threatened to split my face as Carla deposited an enormous stack of pancakes in front of me.

"There ya go, honey," she said, planting a kiss on the top of my head. "If you can finish those, there's more where that came from."

"Thanks!"

She chuckled and floated away as I dug greedily into my plate. Carla was a groovy lady, although I often thought as a kid I'd grow up to have her handprint permanently embedded on my face, Sophie too for that matter. One learned quickly that smart-ass remarks or vulgar language around her would result in a lightening fast slap. I'd even seen Gus and Joey receive a few over the years.

"Maddie," Woody addressed me amusedly. "What do you remember about our trip to Vegas?"

I groaned. "I remember it was hot and the road trip was unbearable."

"You don't remember Gus's ice cream?" Joey asked.

I started to laugh. I hadn't thought about that in forever. We had all been crammed into a van that Gus had borrowed to get us out there. Of course, the air conditioner didn't work and being northerners, we were totally unprepared for the devastating heat of the Nevada desert. It felt like the surface of the sun and by the time we were ready to head back, most of us were burned and resembled boiled lobsters. It was a cranky, long, miserably hot trek out of the desert and the close quarters had us snapping at each other.

To make matters worse, we had to keep all the windows rolled down and it made it hard to speak to each other over the wind blowing in. Then there was the fly. The little bastard was a survivor, tormenting us all, refusing to leave, and deftly avoiding every attempt made on his life.

We were passing through some little town when Sophie spotted a Dairy Queen and started whining for us to stop, I happily joined in and grumbling, Gus took the exit. Soon, we were back on the road and immersed in our treats while Gus weaved through traffic with one hand, holding his untouched, two-scoop, chocolate dipped cone in the other. I just happened to be looking at him as he got us back on the Interstate and leaned back in his seat. The fly chose that moment to make a reappearance and he swatted at it absentmindedly, tossing his yet to be sampled ice cream right out the window.

I watched him stare after it as if he expected it to come back and my cheeks ballooned in an effort to keep from choking

"I'll be goddamned!"

I started shrieking laughter, quickly dissolving into uncontrollable hysterics. My antics were so contagious that everybody, sensing blood in the water, was suddenly alight with amusement and already beginning to chuckle. I was laughing so hard my eyes were watering, and I couldn't answer the eager questions being directed at me.

"What's a matter, Gus?" Joey asked.

I risked a glance at him and you could practically see the smoke coming from his ears. I turned to jelly in my seat, laboring to catch my breath.

"I just threw my fuckin' ice cream out the window!"

"He was swatting at the fly," I chortled. "He hadn't even licked it yet!"

They erupted in hilarity, Carla cackling so uproariously she forgot to whack Gus for his profanity. Merriment at his expense overtook everyone and we carried on for so long that you could hear his teeth grinding in the car behind us.

Chuckles encompassed the table. "God, he was so mad," Sophie snickered.

"He didn't speak to anyone until we were in Missouri," Joey hooted, instigating another wave of mirth.

"Maddie, you remember Gus catching us the first time we got drunk?" Sophie asked.

I winced. "God, yes. He blistered our asses for that."

"When was this?" Joey asked. "I don't remember hearing anything."

"I guess we were what, close to fifteen?" Sophie asked.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't I know about this?" Joey asked darkly. "What happened?"

"Oh, be quiet, Daddy," Sophie chided. "It was years ago."

"We got into the liquor one day after school and he caught us red-handed."

"I'd never been so sick in my life, I still can't get within a foot of tequila," Sophie said with a shudder.

"Me either."

"I can't believe Gus didn't tell me this," Joey mumbled. "I'd have busted your ass too."

"Trust me, Joey. We learned our lesson and he probably thought we didn't need to get another one from you."

"What'd he do?"

"We passed out in the kitchen with the evidence all around us," I said, shaking my head sadly. "We both got the belt as soon as he roused us from our stupor, then he put us to work out in the backyard."

"I thought I was gonna die," Sophie said grimly. "He kept us up all night, had us pulling weeds and stuff until the sun came up."

"He supervised from a lawn chair and we got sprayed with a garden hose every time we threw up, started to cry, or looked like we might pass out."

Predictably, the guys thought this was a riot, but Carla came to our defense.

"That's horrible," she admonished. "How could he be so mean?"

"Oh, hush," Joey chuckled. "I'll bet the girls avoided the booze for years after that."

"I know I did. I think the next drink I took was in college."

"Me too," Sophie said. "I panicked every time I was offered any. Kept looking over my shoulder scared to death Gus would somehow appear."

The laughter started again and we spent the rest of the morning reminiscing. It was a happy day engaged in both laughter and tears. When it was over, and I was finally on my way home, I couldn't help but think, that maybe, just maybe, I'd be okay after all.

--------- I let myself in the door and stumbled around in the dark, having not a left a light on the day before. I fumbled for a lamp and then made a beeline to my phone to speed dial Anabel's number. I waited through twelve rings prior to hanging up and calling information to get her store number. My lower lip started to protrude as I was informed she had already left for the day.

I felt like blubbering. Sophie had begged me to stay the night again, but I wanted to come home because I had hoped Anabel would come over. Now I was stuck in my crappy little loft all alone with nothing but my thoughts to keep me occupied. A mood starting to encompass me, I slugged into my bedroom and carefully placed my flag on top of the dresser. The tears began to build again, depression rocketing toward me and picking up speed.

A knock at the door filled me with me relief and I raced to answer it, hoping desperately it was who I wanted it to be. I ripped open the door to find her standing there with an overnight bag and I was suddenly elated. I grabbed her hand and yanked her inside, blathering like an idiot.

"I'm so glad you're here I tried calling you but there was no answer and I called the video store but they saidâ€¦"

She covered my mouth with a hand and giggled. "Hush."

I grabbed her wrist and placed a kiss on her palm. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," she said, leaning forward to place a kiss on my cheek. "Can we close the door now? I'm freezing."

I reached an arm around her and flung the door closed. "Are you gonna stay the night?" I asked, knowing I sounded pathetically desperate, but unable to stop myself.

"If you'll have me."

I nodded enthusiastically.

She smiled. "Then I'm yours."

I bounced in place excitedly.

She laughed at me and gestured to the other room. "Let's go sit down, I bought you a present."

"A present?"

"Yep," she said, turning to saunter into the living room.

I followed after her happily, plopping down on the sofa beside her and looking at her eagerly.

She sat her bag on the coffee table and dug through it to produce a triangular shaped package wrapped in a pretty red paper. Presenting it to me with a curious expression.

I tore it open impatiently, coming to an abrupt halt and clasping a hand over my mouth. "Is this what I think it is?"

"I thought you might like it."

"I do," I croaked. "Very much."

"Would you like to put it inside?"

I was so touched I could only nod. She reached out and took it away from me, peeling the rest of the paper away carefully. "I'll get it ready it for you. Go on now."

I rose and traveled into my bedroom to stand before my dresser. Gently lifting my most cherished possession, I cradled it to my chest and carried it back into the living room. Anabel had it ready and I reverently placed my flag inside the beautiful glass display box. The waterworks started as soon as she clasped it shut, and I fell over and buried my head in her lap.

"Thank you so much," I whimpered. "It's a wonderful gift."

She stroked my hair. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you today."

"I understand. It was actually a pretty good day. We laughed a lot."

"You have a wonderful family, Maddie."

I sighed and rolled over on my back to look up at her. "Sophie told me you stayed with me all night."

A nod.

"Thank you. I know I wasn't very good company."

"You're very welcome."

I grinned. "I was afraid you were going to tell me not to thank you."

"Nah, even I wouldn't kick you when you're down."

"That's good to know."

She grinned. "You hungry?"

"I'm stuffed, Carla forced food on us all day. Are you? We can run out and get something."

"Nope, she fed me when I went back to look for you after work."

"Oh," I mumbled, not sure if I was comfortable with that. I was getting tired of being talked about.

"Don't worry," she said knowingly. "We just visited, you were barely mentioned."

I fought off a frown. "Will you tell me something?"

"What?"

"Am I really as easy to read as I'm beginning to think I am?"

"Only to people who love you."

I really wanted to ask her if she were one of those people, but I couldn't figure out how to phrase it fast enough.

"Can I ask you something now?"

"Okay. But you should know that I'm not in the mood to discuss all my personal failings."

She grinned. "But there's so many."

"Just ask your question," I said dryly.

"What's with you and Sophie?"

I froze. Of course, that only gave me away and I sighed. "Didn't Gus tell you?"

"No."

"What did Sophie say?"

"Like I know her well enough to ask."

I procrastinated. I really didn't want to discuss it since it seemed that I'd only very recently come to terms with it. "Can we talk about something else?"

"I think I'd rather talk about this," she said, an edge creeping into her voice. "Do you love her?"

I closed my eyes. "Of course, I do. She just didn't love me back. At least, not the way I wanted."

She was silent long enough that I opened my eyes and started to fidget.

"Do you still love her?"

I nodded and her expression darkened. "I'll always love her, but I'm no longer in love with her."

She seemed to relax a little. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm."

"Were you jealous?" I asked with a little grin, wanting to make light of what I perceived as a tense situation.

"Nah," she scoffed unconvincingly. "Was just wondering what was up."

I beamed a delighted smile. Finally, the tables had turned a little and I had one up on her. I intended to milk it. "Is that why you looked ready to claw my eyes out a second ago?"

"You're imagining things."

"Not going by the look on your face."

"Some detective you are, I've just got a little gas."

I laughed. "Big, fat liar."

She huffed and turned her face away. "Fine, I was a little jealous, you happy now?"

"Immensely," I said in my most imperious tone.

Her eyes flashed and I giggled deviously. Apparently, she didn't like being teased. A little muscle twitched along her jaw line and I felt my stomach flop over. My smile faded, the observation having kick started my libido. Oh, my my! Oh, hell yes! Ya got to put on that party dress!

I rose to place a kiss on her neck and lingered there lovingly. She pretended to ignore me, not ready to give up her sulk. I moved to her lips, but she moved her face away in childish protest. My fingers sought out the buttons of her blouse and her hands came up to stop me.

"What are you doing?"

"I want you."

"I'm not in the mood."

"Let me work on that."

"How?"

"What do you want?"

She was caving, I could tell. I mean, who could resist me?

"What are you willing to do?"

"Anything."

"Like what?"

"Tell me what you want. I won't say no."

"You tell me."

I thought fast. "I'll model for you."

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"In your thong?"

"If you like."

"You've been wearing it for almost two days. It could model for me without you."

Ouch! "I have another one."

"What color?"

"White."

"Nah, white doesn't do it for me."

"Help me out here."

"You're the seductress."

"It's my first time."

She gave me an odd look. "What?"

"It's my first time."

"For what?"

"Being the seductress."

"You're kidding me?"

"Nope."

"My God, you really have been spoiled."

I flopped back into her lap in frustration. "You're killing me."

"I told you I wasn't in the mood."

I sat up and took an empty space on the couch. Was it possible that I wasn't the chick magnet I thought I was? No, that just couldn't be it. Something else had to be going on here. I stared at her confusedly, wanting an explanation.

She readjusted her blouse and reached for the remote, clicking on the TV and ignoring me completely.

I gaped at her in astonishment, a tantrum gaining momentum. What the fuck was this? Not only had I been fuckin' rejected, I'd been shot right out of the fuckin' saddle. It wasn't every fucking day I threw myself at someone. In fact, I'd never thrown myself at fucking anyone. What sort of Mickey fucking fuckity fuck fuck Mouse game was she playing?

Mere seconds away from pitching a fit, a blast of awareness washed over me and I eyed her carefully. I was being manipulated. It had all been way too deliberate. I'd be the first one to admit that I could at times, be pretty damn dense, but if there was one thing I wasn't, it was a fool. It didn't make me angry that she was playing me for one, I was always angry. She made me mad.

"Anabel?"

She turned an inquiring look in my direction. "Yes?"

"I changed my mind."

"About what?"

"I think now would be a perfect time to discuss my personal failings."

"Oh? Why?"

"I dunno, I just fuckin' feel like it."

"Please don't useâ€¦"

"I'm going to use that word anytime I want and if you slap me again, I'll slap you back," I interrupted, rising to my feet and seating myself on the coffee table directly in front of her.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, probably more than I should've because it's left me feeling generally confused. Be that as it may, I don't like to be manipulated, Annie. I already know enough about myself to realize I have problems. I don't like to have them pointed out to me, because odds are, I'm already well aware of them. Some I don't care about and some I'm trying to work on, but they're my problems and I don't want you to fix them. However, if it'll make you feel better, or if you're just curious, I'll let you in on what I've figured about myself."

She just stared at me.

"I am spoiled. I've been fortunate enough to have people in my life that would, and have, gone to great lengths to protect me, love me, and tolerate me. I've really never been denied but one thing, and that was Sophie. I was in love with her for so long that it took almost a decade for me to put it behind me. "

I paused and took a deep breath.

"I'm selfish because I've only had myself to deal with for far too long. I'm cynical because I give a shit and far too many don't. I'm hateful because like everybody, I'm a hypocrite. But unlike most, I realize it and I don't like it. I'm rude because some people don't understand anything else. And I'm mean because until I met you, I hadn't been laid in over three years. I won't bother to tell you how long it was before that."

She gave me a chuckle and a little grin.

"It feels right when I'm with you, Annie. I'd very much like this to work, but don't take a therapeutic approach with me. Take me as I am or don't take me at all."

She chewed on her lip, her face thoughtful. "Well, when you put it that way, I guess I'll have to take you," she said slowly. "Butâ€¦ I have conditions of my own."

"Yes?"

"Take a shower first."

I blinked. "What?"

"You're right. Fuck the shower."

She surged off the couch and tackled me from the coffee table in a blur, both of us landing on the floor in a tangle of arms and legs. Damn but the chick could move when she wanted to! Fingers labored rabidly at my waist, unclasping my belt, pulling it off with a flourish, and then tossing it away wantonly. I looked up at her with undisguised fascination. What was with the bizarre need to knock me to floor before mating? It struck me as a lot like being clubbed over the head and dragged back to the cave. I mean really, all she had to do was say the word and I would've happily moon walked nude into the bedroom and performed a half gainer on to the mattress.

My train of thought whispered away as my shirt fell open and my bra was pulled up over my boobs. She fell upon them with an urgent zeal, and it was soon impossible for me to think about anything. Well, almost anythingâ€¦Heh, heh, heh.

Part Three

I

The appealing aroma of brewing coffee prompted me to open my eyes and I rose to sit on the edge of the bed. I let out a yawn that stretched my molars and stood to frolic naked into the bathroom. Life was good. Or at least, it was as good as it could be without Gus. I had a fantastic, if not a little strange, lover and I was completely sated. Thoughts of her overcame me as I sat upon the throne, and I suspected greatly that I had much more than just a lover. I was afraid to let myself hope.

I had finished my shower and was brushing my teeth when she popped into the bathroom with my ringing cell phone.

Noting my current state of unavailability, she grinned. "Want me to get it?"

I shrugged and gave her a nod.

"Hello. Oh, hi Billy!" she exclaimed happily, wandering out of the room.

Instantly regretting having let her answer it, I hurriedly completed my task and rushed into the bedroom to find it empty. I jumped into some panties and a half shirt and wandered out into the living room. I found her busily chatting away while she reclined on the sofa with her legs dangling over the arm. It was kinda cute so I swallowed my annoyance and padded over to sit down next to her.

"Oops, here she is," she giggled. "I'll let ya talk to her. Bye, Billy."

She extended the phone toward me with an amused expression and I barely restrained myself from snatching it out of her hand irritably.

"Yes, Billy?" I said dryly.

I was met with a low, sinister chuckle.

I rolled my eyes and waited as Anabel scooted over, situating her head in my lap.

"Has it been a good morning?" he asked finally. "Or was it a better evening?"

"Both were pleasantâ€¦until now."

He snickered. "I'll bet."

"Uh huh. What's up?"

"Tish Binkowski's birth certificate is an excellent forgery."

"Shit. Anything on her fingerprints?"

"Nobody's bitten. I think it's a long shot anyone will."

"You're probably right."

"Yep. Did you get anything from Merchant?"

"Not yet, but he has a lead for me. I'll give him a call today."

"Alright, I gotta run. Lemme know the scoop."

"Okay, talk to you soon."

"Have yourself aâ€¦ pleasantâ€¦ morning."

"Bye, Billy."

I hung up with a grumble and dropped my attention to the head in my lap. She had messily tied all of her hair up on the top of her head, the coif resulting in a look that made her resemble a five and half foot tall palm tree. It was pretty damn adorable.

"Good morning."

"Hiya, Maddie," she said brightly, turning in my lap to kiss my bare belly. "Whatcha want for breakfast?"

"Coffee and cigarettes."

She scrunched up her face. "Yuck. How about fried taters and eggs instead since it's the only thing in the house to eat?"

"You don't have to work today?"

"I do this evening. Traded so I could spend some time with you today."

I grinned.

She started to chew on my belly, getting a giggle out of me. "Stop that."

She paused and looked up at me with a look of devotion that it damn near made me gulp. "I'll cook if you promise to run around in your undies all morning."

"Deal."

"How do you like your eggs?"

"With broken yokes or scrambled."

"Okie dokey," she said, rolling out of my lap and sauntering toward the kitchen. I watched her go with a raised eyebrow. She had the sweetest little ass.

"Why's it so hot in here?"

"Look out the window."

I got up and strolled over to see a late winter snow and from the look of it, a pretty heavy one. Driving around was going to be for shit. The thought sparked my curiosity and I looked up and down the street, but the only car in sight was my own.

"Where's your car?"

"I don't have a car, Maddie."

"Huh?"

"I grew up in the city, never learned how to drive."

I turned an unhappy look in her direction. "You've been taking a cab all this time?"

"Sometimes," she replied. "Joey dropped me off last night."

"Why didn't I know you didn't have a car?"

She shrugged. "You never asked."

It occurred to me then that there was a lot I didn't know about her. I traveled over and took a stool in front of the counter.

"Tell me about yourself, Annie."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

She looked at me with a happy smile and I felt a powerful twinge of guilt. "Really?"

"Really. I should've asked long before now."

She shrugged a little disappointedly. "You've had a lot on your plate."

"That's no excuse."

"I'm glad we agree," she said coyly, strolling over to dump a knife and a few potatoes in front of me. "Peel those while we talk."

"Okay, but can I have a cup of that coffee too?"

"Sure."

I smiled and kicked my feet a little, confused when they encountered resistance. I cast a glance at the floor and noticed the box of DiCarlo files. I was positive that I'd left them scattered all over the kitchen counter, someone had boxed them back up.

"Annie, did you pick up my files?"

"Hmmm?" she asked, turning a look over her shoulder.

"My files, I left them out and now they're all packed away."

"Oh yeah, they were all over the counter so I put them back in the box," she said dismissively.

"Did you read them?"

She shrugged. "None of my business."

I drummed my fingers on the counter, fairly confident that she could've cared less. Why would she give a shit about a long dead mobster?

"What are you working on anyway, Maddie?" she asked as she deposited a mug in front of me and I immediately got the shakes for a smoke.

"Be back in a sec," I said, hopping up in search of my jacket.

I didn't see it in the living room so I headed for the bedroom closet. I scowled when I got there and couldn't find it. Turning to leave, I paused upon catching sight of a garbage bag drooping from one of my hangers; I peeked inside and found my jacket. I could only assume Anabel had done it and I was baffled as to why. As I tore it off and rummaged through the pockets, my heart suddenly thumped in my chest, realization dawning on me. She had said my jacket smelled like cigarettes and had covered it so my other clothes wouldn't smell too. My whole body started tingling and emotion flooded through me, leaving me covered from head to toe in gooseflesh.

I sank to the floor because I didn't trust my knees to support me. My mind churned to analyze what I was feeling. All the evidence kept pointing to an answer, but I was afraid to accept it. How could such a little gesture invoke such a frightening self-discovery? I really was a fool. I'd probably known all along. Why was I so terrified?

The answer was simple and vastly complicated. I loved her.

I don't know how long I sat there before the sound of a door being slammed brought me out of my trance. I got to my feet and returned somewhat drunkenly to the living room. I looked around with a scowl.

"Anabel?"

The smell of burning eggs wafted over me and I rushed into the kitchen to remove them from the burner.

What the hell?

Thinking that maybe she was in the bathroom, I dumped the skillet in the sink and spun on my heel to investigate.

My eyes dropped to the counter as I passed, spotting my phone and a piece of paper underneath. Relieved, I brushed the phone aside and picked up the note. There were only two words.

Sarah called

The roof fell in on me and for a second, just for a second, I thought I might piss myself. Holy fucking shit!! The note floated in the air behind me as I screamed from a standstill to collide with the window, frantically looking up and down the street. I caught sight of a figure turning the corner almost a block away and I stupidly pounded on the glass.

"Annie!"

I panicked, dangerously close to throwing an unproductive conniption fit. Instead, I ran to the door, pausing long enough to pull on a pair of sneakers before yanking it open and flying down the steps. I was halfway up the block when I realized that I was running through the snow in my underwear. I didn't let it stop me and I threw an arm over my chest so I could pour on the speed. I rounded the corner and found her standing next to the curb half a block up.

"Annie!"

She turned at the sound and stomped her foot angrily. I closed the distance between us, finally grinding to a stop in front of her and gasping for breath.

"Annie," I wheezed. "It isn't what you think."

"Then what is it, Matilda?" she asked nastily, her face so red it looked close to bursting into flames.

I was in big fucking trouble and I fought to catch my breath. "It's nothing. I swear it's nothing. We just had a couple of meals together."

"Did you sleep with her?"

I blinked, my own anger threatening to rise. "I'm not slut, Annie. I told you last night I hadn't been with anyone but you in years."

To my dismay a cab appeared at the intersection. Turning the corner and heading in our direction. I talked fast. "Don't leave me, Annie. It's not that big a deal, I was just caught up in things and forgot all about her. I'll call as soon as we get home and explain that I'm with you now. I'llâ€¦"

"What makes you think you're with me now?"

The cab pulled up next to us and the driver beamed a huge smile out the window. I endeavored to ignore him.

"Aren't I?" I asked. "I want to be."

"You have a strange way of showing it."

"I'll do better, please come home with me and talk about this."

She gave me a sad look and I began to despair. "I want a girlfriend, Maddie. A partner. Give me a call if you decide that's what you want too."

She turned to get in the cab and I reached out to grab her arm as she was bending to seat herself. "Don't go, Annie. Please," I pleaded, close to bawling.

She pulled her arm out of my grasp. "Go put some clothes on, Maddie."

The door slammed shut behind her and the cab instantly pulled away, leaving me standing there in a turmoil. I watched helplessly as it disappeared from view, tears hot on my face. Finally, the cold forced me to start moving and I dragged my feet through the snow. Why hadn't I told her? I wanted to. I was a coward.

The sound of catcalls and a fast approaching car penetrated my haze of self-criticism. I turned an angry look over my shoulder, squealing in surprise and outrage as the vehicle sped by and sprayed me with a coat of freezing slush.

Motherfuckers!

I stood there in a disbelieving shock, battling between rage and bursting into tears. I didn't have anyone to vent on so I settled for tears and sniveled the rest of the way home.

"Maddie!"

I looked up to find Sophie hurrying down the stairs toward me with a horrified expression.

"Are you okay? What are you doing out here practically naked? Did you fall down? Why are you crying?" she squawked in alarm.

I gave her a look that must have been truly pathetic and she grabbed me by the arm, pulling me up the steps. "Come on, you're turning blue."

She got me inside and closed the door. "Where's the shower?"

I pointed and she dragged me across the living room, letting me go once we entered the bathroom to turn on the water. I was so cold at this point my teeth were chattering and I was shivering pretty violently. She returned, stripped me out of my undies and thrust me into the shower. The water was scalding and I shrieked, hopping around recklessly as I tried to adjust the temperature and avoid the spray.

"Gosh, Maddie," she said. "It's a good thing I invited myself over this morning. Wanna tell me what's up?"

The water had a soothing effect on both my mood and my body so without preamble, I confessed my sins. I told her everything while she listened from her supervisory perch on the bathroom counter.

"â€¦ So these assholes drive by whistling at me and splashed me with road sludge andâ€¦" I broke off abruptly, upset at the sound of laughter. "It wasn't funny!"

"Maddie," she soothed. "If it had been anyone else but you, you would've thought it was hilarious."

"I would not."

"You forget who you're talkin' to. I've seen you swerve over two lanes to hit a puddle in front of somebody and still be laughing about it an hour later."

I refrained from comment and wisely chose to change the subject. "Anyway, what should I do?"

"Nothing."

"Huh?"

"You shouldn't do anything."

I struggled with myself. "I always do nothing. I wait for everything to be okay and it never is. I don't want to do that this time."

"Good."

"She's really upset, Sophie."

"She told you to give her a call so she hasn't given up on you yet. If you want what she wants, I'm sure everything will work out. Do you want her?"

"Yeah," I said softly, hesitating to say it out loud. "I love her."

"Do you?"

I turned off the water and stepped out to catch the towel flung at me. "Yes."

"Does she know?"

"I haven't told her."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a chickenshit."

"Truer words were never spoken."

I sighed. "Why do you say that?"

"You never told me, Maddie."

I froze. "Would it have made a difference?"

"Yes and no."

I wrapped the towel around me. "How?"

She fidgeted a little. "I knew you loved me, Maddie. But I didn't know the way you loved me. You never said anything or did anything that led me to believe it was any different from the way I loved you."

"And if I had?"

"If I had known, I would've handled the situation with a lot more sensitivity than I did. Sometimes I think if I had known earlier, I wouldn't have lost you for so long. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. It broke my heart to know that I had broken yours."

I sniffled and brought up a hand to wipe at my eyes. "I'm such a loser."

"You are not."

"Then what's my problem?"

"You have delicate heart that you're afraid to use."

I chewed on that carefully. "Maybe."

"No maybe about it. The heart afraid of breaking, never learns to dance," she said with a sagely, knowing smile.

I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. "So how is doing nothing gonna get her back?"

"Because she hasn't left you, she's just pissed at you. Besides, I'm going to pop in and rent a movie this evening."

I started to smile, but it faded. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"She asked me about you last night. She wasn't thrilled."

She rolled her eyes. "How do girls sleep with one another and deal with all the head games and dramatics?"

I chuckled.

"I'll go see her anyway," she said, hopping off the counter. "Go get dressed, I'll call you later and tell you how it went."

"Okay."

She pecked me on the cheek and sashayed out of the room without a backward glance. I couldn't help but chastise myself for being such an ass. I'd been without her for so long that I'd forgotten what it was like to have a best friend. I'd missed her more than I thought possible. I was so lucky.

II

I stepped outside, fully dressed, an hour later with a destination in mind. A call to Merchant had provided me with a name, a social security number, and an address. The address was six years old, but I didn't have anything else to go on at the moment. Besides, having something to do would hopefully keep me from fretting over recent developments. I also thought it might be a good time to pop in on the Frank Brothers and return Robby's revolver.

It took me forty-five minutes to arrive in the projects, the roads were crapped up with snow and it was beginning to fall again. Not a nice neighborhood to visit, especially for a dead sexy little thing like me. I hooked my ID over my belt and rearranged my gun so it could be easily seen. I hated the projects. People deserved better than to rot in a crime-infested hellhole where dignity was the last thing you were allowed to have. But what could you do? Liberal policy, although resplendent with good intentions, always led to corruption and tragedy.

The apartment I was looking for was in one of two fifteen-story buildings that never had a functioning elevator and was home, for the most part, to gangs, dealers, and various other lowlifes. Unfortunately, I needed to get to the eleventh floor. That meant traveling up a stairwell usually populated with human trash. I got out of the car, took a deep breath, and made my way to the entrance.

The lobby, smelling of urine and vomit, was tastefully decorated with an overdose of gangsta graffiti. There were a variety of characters hanging about and I drew their immediate attention. I ignored them and walked across the room to enter the stairwell. I hoped no one attempted to confront me for it would be violent. It was the only way to deal with those brave enough to figure for me a cop and not give a shit. Bust one of them hard enough, the others would know better. In most cases, that is. I didn't want to think about the alternative.

As expected, the stairwell was crowded, more so than expected. The weather had probably forced a good many of them indoors. I doubt most of them actually lived in the building; it was just a good place to get high or drunk in a warm location where the police wouldn't normally harass you. The majority were already in various states of catatonia from their intoxicant of choice and barely noticed my passing, if at all. The others eyed me cautiously, guessing me for the heat and not liking it.

The closer I got to the eleventh floor, the more uncomfortable I became. If I got in trouble, I'd have nowhere to run. I was surrounded. I wish I had called Joey and asked for an escort, he'd have a shit fit if he knew I was alone in here.

I was approaching the ninth floor when I knew my little quest wasn't going to be eventless. Standing on the next landing, looking down at me with cruel smiles, were three Hispanic guys decked out in gang regalia. I halted halfway up and leveled an indifferent look at the one in the lead.

"Hey, chica," he said. "Where you headed?"

"Fifteen."

"To get past us you'll have to blow me, and my friends on thirteen will probably want to fuck you."

"I can live with that."

He smiled and his friends started laughing. "Come on up."

I moved forward, stopping two steps below him and within arms reach. My eyes rose to meet his expectantly.

"After me, you do them, okay?" he asked, gesturing to his goons.

"Okay," I said, giving him what I hoped was a wanton smile.

He unzipped his fly and I almost chuckled. These guys were as dumb as the day is long. They'd end up dead or in jail before they turned twenty-five. If they were smart, they would've just rushed me.

"You like it?"

I dropped my eyes and raised an eyebrow. "What am I supposed to do with that, pick my teeth?"

Before he could register my remark, I grabbed his cock and yanked him forward, stepping to the side as he took a dive down the stairs behind me. My gun came out the second he tumbled past, and I used it to strike the closest of his stunned friends across the bridge of the nose. It was like popping a small water balloon filled with blood and he fell to the floor gurgling. The remaining clown found himself staring at the business end of my roscoe.

"Hands on your head, sit on the floor, back against the wall and spread your legs," I ordered, my voice low to convey intolerance.

He complied and I took a step back to get some power into my kick. He screamed when my foot sank past the toes into his crotch and he fell over on his side, no longer a threat. I turned a look down the stairwell to see my dickless friend unconscious on the next landing. I wiped my hand on my pant leg, must've been a pretty bad fall.

I turned my attention to the one with a broken face. "You don't want me to see you when I come back down. Understand?"

He gave me a nod, his legs writhing on the floor as he dealt with his pain. I presented them with my back and continued up the stairs. I arrived on eleven without further incident and wandered around for a minute, searching for a door that actually had a number on it. I found one that was close, and counted my way to what I guessed to be the right one. I stepped to the right of the door and extended a hand to knock.

"Who is it?" said a man with a deep voice.

"Police!"

Surprisingly, the door opened a second later and I stepped into view.

He was big man, but clean cut. "What do you want?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, is this apartment 1017?"

"Yeah."

"Does a Monica Brentwood live here?"

"Never heard of her."

I sighed. "How long have you been in this apartment?"

"Almost a year now. An old lady was here before me."

"Thank you. I'm sorry I disturbed you."

"Yeah, okay," he said suspiciously, keeping a wary eye on me until the door closed.

Disappointed, I walked a few steps down the hall, whipped out my phone and dialed Billy's number.

"Winters."

"Billy, run a name and social security number for me."

"Alright, hold on," he said, and I waited a few seconds. "Okay, shoot."

I gave him the info.

"Who is she?"

"Supposedly a friend of Tish Binkowski's."

"I'm in a rush, Maddie. I'll run it and get back to you."

"That's fine."

"See ya, kiddo."

"See ya."

I put the phone back in my jacket and braced myself for the trip downstairs. I hated running into dead ends and I'd been doing it a lot lately. I was due a break.

--------- It wasn't too far of a jaunt from the projects to the Frank establishment so I was knocking on the club door half an hour later. The slot popped open and eyes stared out at me. They weren't the same ones I'd previously encountered.

"What do you want?"

"Tell the Franks that Maddie Ledoux would like to see them."

The slot slammed shut without a word and I spent five minutes standing in the snow before the door opened. I walked in without comment and headed for the dance floor. Kind of eerie, it was like they hadn't moved since the last time I saw them.

This time, they smiled as I sat down and I pulled the revolver from my jacket, sliding it across the table. "Thanks, Robby."

"I guess I'm in the clear?"

"Yep."

"Wanna drink?" Bobby asked.

"No, thanks. But I'd like to ask a question?"

"Private question?"

"Nothing indiscreet."

"Let's hear it."

"If I were looking for a smalltime pimp that probably worked the projects five or six years ago, who would come to mind?"

"Most of the hookin' done in the projects is solo. They don't have pimps. Are you looking for anyone in particular?"

"Not really sure. You know a Monica Brentwood?"

They both shook their heads, but the slut next to Robby sparked slightly. I turned my attention on her. "You know that name?"

She nodded.

"Do you know where I can find her?"

She looked uneasy, shooting a quick glance at the Franks. "I haven't seen her in a few years."

"Did she have a pimp?"

"She used to work for Clarice."

"Who's Clarice?"

Bobby spoke up. "I've heard she runs a pretty classy escort service on the west side nowadays."

Inspiration struck and I pulled Tish's photograph from my jacket and slid it in the shankâ€™s direction. "Do you know her?"

She looked at it for a minute and shook her head. "No."

"How long ago did Monica work for Clarice?"

"Four, maybe five years ago."

I looked at Bobby again. "Does Clarice service clients?"

"She used to, I don't know anymore."

"How would I find her?"

"I could probably run you down an address or a phone number. Give me a few to make some calls?"

"You bet."

"Do you know her last name?"

He shook his head and I looked to the ho. "How about you?"

"Sorry."

Bobby rose and vanished through a door in the wall. I reached for my phone and it rang in my hand.

"Ledoux."

"I found your gal," Billy said.

"That was way too fast. Please tell me she's not dead."

"Nope, she's in prison downstate."

"No kidding?"

"No kidding, I've already spoken to the Warden. They'll be expecting you."

"That's great, Billy. Thanks."

"I want a call after you've talked to her."

"You'll get it."

"I'd better. Anything else?"

"Yeah, I was just gonna call you. Do you know a Clarice that runs an escort service on the west side?"

"Nope. But I'll ask vice."

"Lemme know."

"You on to something?"

"Maybe. Don't know yet," I said, spotting Bobby reemerge. "I gotta go, Billy."

"Okay, stay in touch."

Bobby placed a slip of paper in front of me and sat back down. "She was easy to find."

"Thank you."

"Want a word of advice?"

"If you're in the mood."

He chuckled. "Clarice came up from the streets, don't turn your back on her."

"Good advice," I said, pulling out my wallet to count my money. I had two twenties and a fifty.

I stood and reclaimed Tish's picture, placing the fifty in front of the helpful hooker. "Thanks for the info."

She beamed a smile and snatched the bill from the table excitedly.

"Bye, fellas."

"Stop by anytime, Ledoux," Bobby said and Robby nodded in agreement.

I grinned and spun to make my way out of the building. I had a hunch that things were going to start clicking together.

--------- The address Bobby had given me was actually on the northwest side and it took me an hour and a half to get there, the weather was getting worse. I had to verify the address three times to make sure I was in the right place, since I found myself in front of a typical house in a nice neighborhood. There was a car in the driveway and, judging from the amount of snow, it hadn't moved since the weather had turned ugly. More than a little suspicious, I got out of the car and made my way to the door.

I rang the bell five times without a response and I was a little put out because, if I listened carefully, I could hear noise emanating from within. Grumbling, I jimmied the gate and went around back. I pulled my gun when I found a door slightly ajar. Cautiously, I dropped to a knee in the snow, and pushed it open all the way. I scanned the interior carefully, but found only a laundry room and a big black cat staring at me warily from on top of the dryer.

The second I stepped inside, the cat started whining and hopped down to rub himself against me excitedly. I groaned, afraid of what I would find and fairly certain that I had just run into another dead end.

I had to go no further than the living room to confirm it. The corpse was sitting up on the couch, sightless eyes forever unfocused on a blaring television a few feet away. Judging from her color, she'd been dead for at least a couple of days. I holstered my gun and looked around for the remote, and spotting it under her hand, I left it where it was and crossed the room to power off the television. The kitty had followed me, but was loathe to actually enter the room and waited a safe distance away, whining sorrowfully.

I didn't have to look closely to see that Clarice had taken one to the belly. A simple glance at the damage to the back of the sofa told me she had been killed with a large caliber round. I withdrew my phone and walked into the kitchen to lean against the counter.

"Winters."

"Hey Billy, I found Clarice."

"Oh?"

"She's dead, you'll need to get over here."

"Son of a bitch."

"Yeah."

"Look like your man?"

"I'd almost guarantee it."

He sighed. "Alright, where you at?"

I told him.

"Okay, I'll assemble the troops. See ya in a bit."

"Wait!"

"Yeah?"

"The killer is cleaning house, Billy. You might want to call downstate and have Brentwood segregated from the other prisoners."

"Good idea, I'll do that now."

"See ya in a few then."

"Yep."

I dropped the phone back in my pocket and lowered my eyes to see the cat looking up at me hopefully. There was no telling how long he might have been without food so I scrounged around until I found his dish. It was empty and I rummaged through the cupboards to find him something to eat. I discovered a bag of Friskies and he went into full suck up mode as I pulled it out to fill his little bowl. I stroked him amusedly as he wolfed down his chow, noting the tag dangling from his collar. My fingers grasped it and I bent forward to read, barking out a chuckle as his name was revealed. Thoughts of him on kitty death row immediately assaulted me and I knew then that I'd be taking him home.

I left to him to his dinner and went to unlock the front door. I turned the porch light on as well and curiously wandered through the house. It was a normal home, or so I thought until I encountered the master bedroom. I stood gaping in the doorway as soon as I turned on the light, feeling as if I had just stumbled into the Marquis de Sade's workshop.

The room was a kaleidoscope of depravity. The floor was covered in thick, blood red carpeting and all four walls, in addition to the ceiling, were mirrored. Video cameras on tripods were set up in the corners and the only piece of furniture, if you didn't count the cage, was the bed. The bed itself had manacles attached to the corners and a swing was dangling in the air above it. My eyes raked over the various accessories and costumes that hung from the walls and I felt myself begin to blush.

I was a babe in the woods. I always kind of figured that I'd be willing to try anything once, but I had no idea what 'anything' really meant. I wasn't near as open-minded as I thought and, after what I'd just discovered, I wasn't about to change.

Wellâ€¦maybe the swing had possibilities.

My eyes strayed back to the video cameras. So where were the tapes? I was about to look when a voice called out.

"Hello in the house!"

I walked back into the living room to find a uniform standing in the doorway.

"You Maddie?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, giving a look at his insignia. He was local, not city.

"Touch anything?"

"Yeah," I said, holding up a hand. "Had gloves on though."

"Very well, we'll set up."

"Thanks."

He gave me a nod and started speaking into his radio as he walked back to his car.

I watched him for a moment and then returned to the Chamber of Horrors. The cameras had several cords attached, but they disappeared into an outlet in the wall behind them. I didn't want to start breaking mirrors unless I had to so I began an intense examination of the mirrors themselves, taking extra special care to avoid touching any of the objects littering the room; they were creepy. A seam between panels struck me as slightly off kilter and I extended a hand to push against the wall. I was surprised to feel it give and a second later, a door was revealed. Giving myself a pat on the back for my supernatural powers of investigation, I opened it all the way to discover a diminutive room with dozens of videotapes, four VCR's, and four small television monitors. I sat down in the chair situated in front of the screens and poked around curiously.

The tapes were carefully catalogued and labeled with dates. I picked one at random and inserted it into a VCR, expectantly eyeing the monitors. I frowned when a picture didn't come up and began playing with the various controls. Amusedly, I learned that I could move the cameras in the bedroom and use them to zoom on to anything I wanted in disturbing detail.

"Maddie?"

It was Billy's voice and I positioned one of the cameras so I could catch his reaction when he walked into the bedroom.

"In the back, Billy."

A few seconds later, I watched the monitor as he stepped inside the room and froze, a look of morbid fascination on his face.

"Whoa."

I laughed, imagining I appeared just as thunderstruck. He looked around for a minute and then slowly made his way toward me, taking care to watch where he stepped.

"Quite the setup," he said as he poked his head into the little room. "Apparently, I've lived a sheltered life."

I chuckled. "You ain't the only one."

He grinned and stepped inside. "Anything on the tapes?"

"I popped one in but I can't get it to play on the TV's."

"Which one is running?"

I pointed and he leaned over my shoulder to investigate.

"Check this out. I can control the cameras in the bedroom from here," I said, zooming them back and forth playfully.

"That close-up is kinda scary."

I started to laugh again. "You think so too, huh?"

He snickered. "The decks and monitors are numbered, you have to punch the right button on the corresponding TV," he said, reaching out to poke one of the sets.

A picture immediately flashed onto the screen and my eyes widened. "Oh, boy."

"Is that the deceased?"

"Looks like her."

"What the hell is she gonna do with that?"

I watched in horror. "Where would it fit?"

The camera started to zoom in.

"Aagghh!" we both groaned in unison, rearing back from the screen.

I peeked out from behind my hand. "This is going to give me nightmares."

"My ass is gonna hurt for a week after seeing that."

I shivered and extended a hand to power it off. "Lemme know if you come across one that isn't a solo production."

"How many tapes did you take off the shelf?"

"Just the one."

"There are two missing then."

I looked at the shelf that housed them. Sure enough, there were two empty slots that I hadn't noticed. "Shit."

"We'll look at the tapes anyway."

"She has a cat. What happens to it?"

"Animal control. Unless there's a next of kin who wants it."

"Can I take it?"

He shrugged. "I don't see why not. You might have to give it up though."

"I doubt she has a family."

"Then I don't see a problem."

"I'm gonna visit Brentwood tomorrow."

"They're moving her to solitary. I'll let them know you're coming."

"What's she in the slam for?"

"Manufacture and distribution."

"Amphetamines?"

"Yep."

I nodded. "I'm gonna head out, do you need me for anything?"

"I don't think so."

I rose to my feet and gave him a backhanded swat to the belly. "Help me grab my pussy?"

He chuckled. "Sure."

III

The cat was evidently used to traveling. He sat in the passenger seat quite contentedly and eventually, curled up and went to sleep. I had a new friend and, determined to make a good impression, I stopped at pet store and bought him everything I thought he might need. I was kinda of excited to see if he'd like his new toys. I was only a couple of miles from home when the phone rang.

"Ledoux."

"Heya."

"I was getting worried, what did she say?"

"Nothing I could do. You're history," Sophie said sadly.

My heart sank, but a barely audible giggle sparked me out of my impending depression. "You're not funny. Tell me what she said."

"Give her a call."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Thank you so much, Sophie."

"Not a problem. It was kinda neat hearing sex secrets about my best friend."

I scowled. "I'm not falling for another one of your dumb jokes. Just tell me what she said."

A chuckle. "I did most of the talking."

"You're not going to tell me are you?"

"Nope."

"You didn't tell say anything aboutâ€¦wellâ€¦?"

"That's your job, not mine."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Is she still mad?"

"Getting over it. That's why you should give her a call and try your best to be charming. I know that's a tall order butâ€¦"

"Shut up."

Another cackle. "Mom and I expect you over for dinner at least twice before Tony and I leave town."

"Okay."

"She's in love with you, Maddie."

"Is she?"

"Gotta go, see ya!"

She loved me! She loved me! And why wouldn't she? I loved me too! Now all I needed was to devise a way to approach her that I couldn't fuck up. I wracked my brain, my eyes straying to the passenger seat. Who could resist a kitty? I turned around at the next light and began to iron out the details of my plan.

--------- I parked across the street and waited until I could catch her alone in the store. As I spotted the last customer heading for the door, I grabbed my trump card and hurried through the snow.

The door jingled behind me and she tossed a casual look at me from behind the counter. Her expression went a little frosty, but I didn't let it deter me. I puttered over and stood before the counter, watching her cross her arms over her chest as I approached. I stifled a smile as her expression softened when she noticed the cat in my arms.

"After youâ€¦uhmâ€¦ left me today. I ended up going to work and I came across an orphan. He needs a good home, a home with two parents."

I cleared my throat.

"But you know how cats are. They're selfish and independent. Sometimes they can be really inconsiderate and too absorbed in their own problems to notice anything else. Don't worry though; cats are very loyal and faithful. If you love them, they'll love you back. All they need is a little of your patience and their world will revolve around you. They just need someone that understands they have faults and that even though they may not show it all the time, it doesn't mean they don't love you."

Oh, yeah. She was cracking. If only I could use my powers for good, instead of evil.

"Do youâ€¦uhâ€¦know a couple that would take good care of him?" she asked quietly.

"I was hoping Anabel and Maddie would take him. Do you think they'd be interested?"

She sniffled and gave me a little nod.

It was in the bag! Nothing but net!

"Will you come home with me tonight, Annie?"

She nodded again and extended her arms. "Can I see him?"

I handed him over and she started fussing immediately. "Aren't you a big boy?" she asked babyishly.

The cat basked in the attention and she carried on for so long that I began to feel a little left out. Abruptly, she stiffened and shot me an offended look.

"What?"

"We're changing his name."

I chuckled. "I kinda like it."

"We are not calling him Skid mark!"

"Meow."

Our eyes dropped to the cat, hers in dismay and mine in amusement.

"That better have been a fluke," she growled.

"Skid mark."

"Meow."

I started to laugh. "Skid mark."

"Meow."

"Maddie stop!"

"Skid mark."

"Meow."

"Maddie!" she scolded, reaching over the counter to swat me. "Stop it."

"You gotta admit it's pretty funny," I snickered.

"It's not funny and I don't want you to say that around him anymore," she demanded, stomping a foot.

"Oh, come on," I teased. "He doesn't care."

"How do you know, have you asked him?"

I grinned. "No."

"Then be quiet," she ordered, cuddling him to her chest. "The poor thing."

"He looks pretty healthy to me."

"How would you like to go through life with a name like his?"

"I've never been all that wild about Matilda."

"Matilda is a pretty name. Much better than his," she said, planting a kiss on the top of his head.

I frowned, sensing competition. "I want kisses too."

She gave me a sideways glance. "Maybe. Does Sarah know she's not allowed to call you anymore?"

I paled.

"You better start talking, Maddie," she said, powering up an angry glare.

"Iâ€¦I haven't called her yet."

"Why not?"

"I forgot."

Her eyes narrowed. "Do it now."

"Her number is at home," I said guiltily.

"You don't know it?"

I talked fast. "No, I've only called her one time. Annie, you don't have anything to worry about. I'll talk to her, I promise."

She put me under the hot lamp, examining me with the skunk eye. "Okay," she said finally.

I resisted the urge to slump my shoulders in relief. "Can I have kisses now?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

I rolled my eyes. "Because why?"

The bells on the door jangled and I turned to see a group of three teenagers step inside.

"That's why," she said, putting the cat on the counter.

My lower lip started to protrude. "How long till closing time?"

"About an hour."

"Can I have kisses later?"

"We'll see," she said, leaning over the counter to whisper conspiratorially. "You might even get lucky if you go buy some groceries."

"I can do that," I said quickly. "Anything special you'd like?"

"Surprise me."

"Okay. Want me to take the cat?"

"He can stay with his Mommy," she said, running a hand over the lounging feline.

"I thought I was his Mommy."

"You're his wicked step-mom and I don't want you to corrupt him anymore than he already is."

"Why am I the wicked step-mom? I'm the one who saved him from cat prison."

"Because you'll call him names if I'm not around to stop you."

I chose not to respond, mainly because I'd been planning to do exactly that. Instead, I pursed my lips and spun around to march out to the car. I really had no desire to go shopping, but it was a small price to pay for a chance to do the Wild Thang.

--------- My shopping expedition took longer than expected and I pulled up to find her waiting just inside the door with the cat. Thinking I should go the extra mile, I hopped out and ran around to open the door for her. I smiled at her as she passed, but she didn't bother to notice and got into the car without so much as a thank you. Irritably, I walked back around to get behind the wheel.

"What took so long?" she asked.

"It was busy."

"What'd you buy?"

"I thought you wanted to be surprised?"

She grunted. "I better not find a weeks supply of frozen pizzas."

Shit. "I got other things too."

"Hmmm. Did you get anything for kitty?"

"I bought him a bunch of crap earlier. It's in the trunk."

"Goody."

"Did you want to stop at your place for clothes or anything?"

"Nah, I'll just go commando."

I smiled.

"Or I'll wear something of yours."

My smile faded. "I'd rather you went commando."

"I'll think about it. Maybe if you joined me."

"Okay!"

She snickered. "What happened to the Maddie that was all bashful about posing for me?"

"That Maddie was a skid mark."

"Meow."

"You did that on purpose!" she accused, slapping me on the arm.

"I think that's so funny," I chuckled.

She ignored me and spoke to the cat. "Don't you listen to her."

"Quit turning him against me."

"I wouldn't have to if you'd behave."

"Fine. Do you know how hard it'll be to get him to respond to another name?"

"I don't care."

"What do you want to call him then?"

"Haven't decided," she said haughtily.

"Do I get a say in it?"

"No."

"Well gee, lemme know what you decide."

"I'll put it in writing."

I chuckled and pulled off the street to park.

"Can I have the keys and I'll take him upstairs?"

"Sure," I replied, turning off the car and handing them to her.

I got out and filled my arms with grocery bags before following her up the stairs. When we got inside, she immediately ran over and set the cat on the couch, plopping down beside him. I dumped my burden on the kitchen counter and stared at her. Apparently, she had no intention of getting up to help me carry the rest of the crap inside. Muttering under my breath, I ended up making three trips up and down the stairs while she relaxed with Skid mark.

She finally rose when I kicked the door closed and hurried over to look at what I had brought in. I stood there and watched as she took all of the kitty toys out of the bags and returned to the sofa, leaving me to put up all the groceries.

As I went about my chores, I wondered if this what guys felt like. Dutifully taking care of everything in the vain hope that when they were finally finished, they might get to storm the castle.

"What do you want for dinner?" I asked grumpily as I put the last of the groceries away.

"Frozen pizza is okay with me."

I suppressed a groan, rolled my eyes, and turned on the oven.

"Want something to drink?"

"Did you buy any pop?"

"Pepsi."

"That's fine."

I dug a can out of the fridge, delivered it, and returned to toil over dinner. The oven took a while to heat up, and I didn't want to go in the other room just to be ignored so I whipped out my smokes and loitered.

Sudden sounds from the stereo sparked my memory and I spun around. I couldn't help but wonder what possessed her to play that particular track and I brought a hand up to cover my mouth. She jumped to her feet and started warbling along with the music. I started to laugh.

Years ago, Sophie and I had been sitting around chattering and playing some of Joey's old records. We found most of them to be pretty awful and decided to go through them all to choose which one was the worst. We were gagging over the current selection when Gus and Joey burst into the room singing along with the music at the top of their lungs.

"Let the sunshine! Let the sunshine in! The sunshine in!"

We stared at our respective father figures in complete astonishment as they cavorted around performing the dumbest, corniest dance moves we'd ever seen. Neither of them could hold a tune to save their lives and we quickly melted into helpless giggles. A new voice joined the chorus and our jaws dropped to the floor as Carla glided in waving her arms over her head. The lady could sing and she belted out the words with an infectious passion. Before we knew it, we were careening around the room with them and crooning along excitedly.

"Let the sunshine! Let the sunshine in! The sunshine in!"

We were both sorry when the song ended.

"What's the matter, Maddie?" Anabel asked and I blinked to find her standing in front of me.

I wiped at my eyes and gave her a smile. "Just memories."

"Good ones I hope?"

I smiled. "Yeah. The song reminded me."

"Wanna share?"

I nodded and told her the story, charmed as she began to laugh.

"You know, I was wondering why someone your age would have a hippy CD."

"Just sentimental I guess."

She pecked me on the cheek. "You're a soft touch, Maddie."

"I am not."

She shrugged. "Did you hear that?"

My brows knit. "I just hear the stereo."

"You didn't hear my stomach rumble?"

I sighed. "I get the hint."

"Good," she said, giving me a poke and spinning to meander into my bedroom.

I narrowed my eyes as the cat followed after her enthusiastically. The traitor had already chosen sides. I threw the pizzas in the oven and slammed the door.

Seething, I kept an eye out for their return and sure enough, the cat trailed her back into the living room. However, my ire ebbed away when I noticed Anabel wearing nothing but one of my T-shirts. I watched her approach in growing arousal.

"I'll finish up. Go change, Maddie."

I smiled and hurried out of the kitchen, but I paused and turned to look over my shoulder at the cat.

"Here, kitty," I called, hoping he'd follow me.

He cocked an ear at me and hopped up on the counter.

"Here, kitty, kitty."

He flopped down and began to bathe himself.

"Come here, Skid mark."

"Meow," he cried, springing off the counter and running over to me.

"Maddie!"

I ignored her, picked up the cat and strolled into the bedroom. He needed to spend some time with his wicked step-mom.

--------- I reemerged fifteen minutes later and bounded over the back of the couch with Skid mark. He didn't appreciate my acrobatics and ran into the kitchen to suck up to Anabel. My eyes followed him unhappily. I had tried to get him to play with me while I got out of my clothes, but the little bastard had just sat in the middle of the bed and stared at me as if I were the dumbest thing he'd ever seen. Ungrateful fucker.

I started channel surfing, and was still at it when Anabel appeared with the food. She took a seat next to me and I got a glimpse of whisker biscuit as she tucked her legs up under her. I wanted to see more and was disappointed when she got herself situated.

Still hoping for another peek, I was unprepared for the grab that relieved me of the remote. I bit down on my annoyance as she gave me a look that signified that she was somehow entitled to it.

"Maddie, is Sarah that girl I met over at Gus's?"

Uh oh. "Yeah, she runs a shelter on the east side."

An eyebrow rose. "Really? The one on Foster?"

"Yeah," I said slowly. "How would you know?"

She shrugged. "Visited a friend there once."

I rolled that over a few times as she ran through the channels. "Wait! Go back," I demanded.

She flipped back a few channels and passed it again. "This?"

"No, go forward."

She landed on the right one and I grinned. "This is my favorite show."

"You're kidding?"

"No, it's hilarious."

"I'm not going to watch 'Celebrity Deathmatch'."

"Have you ever seen it?"

"No."

"Then what's the problem?"

"It's stupid."

"Uh huh. So who do you think would win between Christian Slater and Robert Downey, Jr.?"

She started to smile. "Robert Downey."

"No way! Christian Slater would kick his ass off the planet."

"Why do you think that?"

"Downey is a sissy."

"Sissy's fight dirty, Maddie."

I raised an eyebrow. "Good point. Let's watch and see."

She sighed, but leaned back to watch while she nibbled on her pizza. Within seconds, I was laughing idiotically.

"This is dumb and it's gross," she announced distastefully.

"That's why it's funny, Annie," I chuckled. "I suppose you'd rather watch the Disney channel?"

"Over this, sure."

"Gimme a break, I've seen you smile a couple of times."

"You have not."

"Uh huh."

"I didâ€¦" she broke off and threw her hands in the air victoriously. "Yes! I told you Downey would win!"

"Huh?" I said, turning to look.

"He had an industrial meat slicer hidden in his shirt!"

I started laughing. "You were just protesting because you thought your guy was losing."

She gave me a coy smile. "Maybe."

I giggled triumphantly.

"Are you done eating, Maddie?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because I want dessert."

My eyes widened at her tone. "You're not gonna tackle me are you?"

She smiled and rose to her feet. "Not this time," she purred, pulling her shirt over her head and dropping it on the sofa. "Join me?" she asked, extending a hand.

I was on my feet in a nanosecond, taking her hand excitedly. She starting leading me toward the bedroom and I tried, but I couldn't quite keep from prancing as I trailed behind her. It was time to ride the Tilt-A-Whirl!

IV

When I opened my eyes in the morning, I found myself face to face with pair of sinister green orbs. They stared at me from extremely close range, inspecting me with an unfathomable expression.

"What do you want?"

No answer.

"Where's your wicked step-mom?"

"I heard that," Anabel said.

I was about to roll over, but a body climbed on top of me and made itself comfortable. "Good morning," she whispered in my ear, leaving a kiss behind.

I purred. "Morning."

"What ya gonna do today, Maddie?"

"I gotta run downstate to see a prisoner," I mumbled, enjoying the feel of her body on mine.

"What for?"

"Work stuff."

"Oh. How long will you be gone?"

"Most of the day I guess, but I'll pack some things unless I have to stay the night."

"Why would you stay the night?"

"She may not cooperate or I may want to talk to her again after I've thought about what she had to say."

"Hmmm. When are you planning on leaving?"

"It'll take me a couple of hours to get there so maybe after lunch."

"I'm working the night shift again. I was hoping to spend some time with you today," she grumbled disappointedly.

"I'm sorry," I said, rolling over in her embrace to find a naked body on top of me. "I can make it up to you."

"How so?"

"I can think of something, I'm sure," I rumbled, running my hands teasingly over her back.

She giggled and buried in her face in the crook of my neck. "Stop."

I smiled.

She lifted her head and gave me a sulky look. "I don't want you to go."

"You don't?"

"No."

"How come?"

"Because I don't want to go home and sit around the house until you come back."

"You can hang out here if you want."

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Nope."

She grinned. "Wouldn't you be worried that I'd look in your sock drawer?"

Ohâ€¦myâ€¦God!! Surely, this is what a massive coronary felt like. I closed my eyes and waited for the comforting arms of Death. What was taking so long? Why wasn't I dying? I was willing to die. Why was he moving in slow motion? Couldn't I be shown just a little mercy? What was the hold up?

The sounds of out of control laughter slowly penetrated the fog surrounding me and I was dimly aware of her rolling off of me.

"Iâ€¦I've never seenâ€¦ a more complete look of horrorâ€¦in my whole life," she howled.

I craned my head to the side and observed as she clamped her hands over her belly and kicked her feet fitfully. I mustered a sigh, disappointedly realizing that God was gonna allow me to live, and thus, endure yet another humiliation. I pulled the sheets over my head and wished that my gun were within reach.

The laughter finally began to dwindle off and I was subjected to several minutes of heavy breathing as she reclaimed her faculties.

"Are you finished?" I asked irritably.

"I think so," she said with a quick snicker.

I grunted and rolled over to present her with my back.

"Oh, come on, Maddie," she giggled, giving me a poke.

"Humph."

The sheets ruffled behind me and hands tugged on my hips. "Roll over."

"No."

"Fine."

Lips on my waist prompted me to open my eyes and they widened as kisses soon followed. I groaned against my will as they became increasingly intimate, leaving a trail over my hips, lingering over my ass, and then finally reaching their intended destination. I was falling fast.

"Let me in, Maddie."

What can I say? I'm weak.

I rolled over and she immediately positioned herself between my legs. "That's better," she said, her breath so close that it raised gooseflesh in expectation.

My fingers and toes dug into the mattress as she caressed me and I instantly abandoned any sense of resistance. My legs came up and I held them out of her way, wanting to give her anything she desired.

She took her time, exploring with a leisure that was both maddening and undeniably electrifying. It was lovingly slow and so sweetly provocative that I was torn between wanting it to last forever and the involuntary demand for immediate release.

She could sense my state of arousal and withdrew every time I approached the edge, finding a tender interest elsewhere until deciding to return. Her attention was overwhelmingly erotic yet she nimbly avoided concentrating where I increasingly needed her to be. She teased me until I grew frantic and retreated when I began to thrust myself toward her demandingly, her lips gently whispering over my thighs. Desperate, I dropped a hand, but my wrist was seized in denial and resolutely led away.

I splayed my arms out to the side, clenching the sheets and pulling them free of the mattress in exasperation. I wanted to squeal with frustration, and seeing no sense in denying it, I did. When I was able to stop, I begged.

"Annie, please!"

Her hands landed on the back of my thighs with a determined power, forcing them to stay were they were. I knew what it meant, and I groaned loudly with anticipation. Her lips covered me and I threw my head back in liberation, riding the wave overtaking me with a carnal growl that merged into a series of helpless shrieks. It was a journey into insanity and I savored it to the very end.

When I finally subsided and the world came back into focus, the only thing I was capable of was complete collapse and I lay there pitifully as I caught my breath. If at that moment, a wino had wandered into my bedroom and jumped up on the bed to take a dump, I would've been powerless to assemble a protest.

Belatedly, I became aware of the light kisses being plastered on my face and neck. I gave her smile that felt an axe handle wide.

"Wow," I croaked.

"You liked?"

I nodded enthusiastically.

She smiled and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I'll take care of you now, Maddie."

I didn't get a chance to respond as she placed her mouth on my own. I quickly melted back into the mattress, but as abruptly as it began, it ended. I frowned my displeasure.

"I worked up an appetite," she announced with a smirk, rolling off of me to hit the floor.

I extended a hand. "Come back to bed."

She shook her head. "Nope, gonna go fix breakfast," she said, sauntering out of the room bare assed before I could object.

"Here, kitty," she chirped from the other room.

I glowered at the unfaithful cat as he trotted out after her.

--------- I came out of my closet carrying my overnight bag and dumped it on the end of the bed. Anabel was leaning against the headboard with Skid mark in her lap.

"Want any help?" she asked.

"Nah."

I dropped to my knees and dug a gym bag out from under the bed, tossing it next to my other one.

"What's in that?"

"Just stuff," I said dismissively over my shoulder as I reentered the closet. I returned a second later to find her digging through it curiously.

"You're pretty damn nosy," I said, not sure if I should be upset about it. I mean, she couldn't possibly find anything more embarrassing than Stephanie.

She shrugged. "True."

"Gee, that doesn't seem to bother you at all."

"It doesn't. I thought you were going to visit a prisoner?"

"I am."

"Then why do you need the stuff in this bag?"

"Just in case."

She frowned. "I don't think I like your job."

"It's a job."

I didn't like it much either, but I was too lazy to look for a better one. That, and I really had no idea what else I might be suited for. Besides, I don't think they'd let me carry a roscoe at Taco Bell. With that in mind, I undid my belt and walked over to the dresser to get my guns.

"You ever shot anybody, Maddie?"

I didn't want to answer that. It wasn't something I liked to think about.

"Have you, Maddie?"

"Up close and personal, no."

"But you have?"

"I flew an attack helicopter in the war, Annie."

"Oh. I should've guessed that. I'm sorry," she said quietly.

I tried to shrug it off. "I did what I had to."

"Will you call me if you can't make it back tonight?"

"Of course. If you'd like to come over after workâ€¦" I hesitated, but then forged ahead. "Or if you'd like to come over anytime. There's a key in the nightstand you can have."

She beamed. "Really?"

"Really."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What's gonna happen to Gus's house and things?"

My brows knit. I hadn't thought about it. "I dunno. I'm sure he left a will. I'll have to ask Woody."

"Oh."

I threw the rest of my stuff in the bag and shouldered it. I was ready. "Are you sure you don't want me to drop you off?"

She smiled. "I'm sure, I'll just take a cab later. It's early yet."

"I'd rather you didn't. I can have one of Joey's guys come and give you a ride."

"I'm not gonna bother him over something so silly."

"I'll leave some money then."

"I've got plenty of money, Maddie. Don't worry about it, I'll be fine," she said, climbing off the bed and handing me my other bag.

"You sure?"

"Yep."

"Okay then," I said, leaning forward to kiss her.

She pecked me back, then looked at the floor, her face stained with a blush and a little furrow on her brow that I couldn't identify. "What's a matter?"

"I wanted to tell you something."

"What?"

She took a quick breath. "Iâ€¦I love you, Maddie."

I'd waited my entire life to hear a woman say that to me, and though I knew she did, even before she said the words, I was touched to the point of sniveling. I inhaled deeply, wanting to respond and elated for the opportunity.

"Iâ€¦" She placed a stifling hand over my mouth.

"I don't want you to ruin my moment," she said, withdrawing her hand.

I gaped at her unbelievably. Her moment?

She spun me around. "On your way. I'll talk to you later."

I turned a look over my shoulder, but she had already hopped back on the bed to play with the stupid cat. What the fuck? I shook my head and started for the door. I could live to be a thousand and never figure out an eighth of the dumbshit things that ran through a woman's mind, my own included. Her moment?

--------- I didn't leave town immediately, there was something I felt I had to do first. A task that couldn't wait and would've saved me a lot of grief had I seen to it earlier. It wasn't a scene I was looking forward to, partly because even thinking about her still turned me on a little, and partly because I couldn't help but feel that I had led her on. In truth, I was so afraid of being alone that I don't think I could've made a choice. I've no doubt that I would've probably fucked things up beyond all recognition and repair had things worked out differently than they had. I couldn't thank God or Anabel enough for dealing me a winning hand.

I parked on the curb and with a sigh of preparation; I climbed out to walk across the street. Thankfully, none of the vagrants attempted to panhandle me, and my trip into the building was without incident. It was hard to feel sorry for those poor, unfortunate, unemployed souls that could somehow afford name brand liquor and tobacco. With an effort, I forced the impending internal rant aside and approached the receptionist. Surprisingly, she gave me a smile and spoke before I could open my mouth.

"Maddie, isn't it?" she asked. "Here to see, Sarah?"

I nodded.

"She's in her office, do you remember the way?"

"Yes, thank you."

She gave me another smile that I returned with a hesitant one of my own and I turned for the stairs. Since it was only a two-story building, I wasn't lazy enough to take the elevator. A little exercise certainly wouldn't kill me and the activity would only aid in the maintenance of my mystically exquisite figure.

I took the long way around and bypassed most of the cubicles. On the trip over I had rehearsed several conversations, none of which I found suitable because all of them made me out to be the heavy. Whether I liked it or not, I'd been burning the candle from both ends and had set myself up for the inevitable drama.

All too soon, I was yet again standing in front of a door. I hated doors. It seemed that I'd encountered far too many of them lately and behind each one I'd been forced to confront my failures and shortcomings. It was a drag. I took a deep breath and gave a short rap.

"Come in."

I conjured up a smile of greeting and stepped into the office. "Hi."

"Maddie!" she beamed, rising from her chair and padding over for a peck. "What a neat surprise."

I returned the greeting but she remained close. Uncomfortable, I backed up a little and she picked up on my response immediately, shooting me a little frown.

"What's up, Maddie?"

I struggled for an opening, not exactly sure how to proceed. "I really hate to say it, but I'm afraid we need to talk."

"Uh oh," she said unhappily, backing up a few paces to lean against the front of her desk. "I don't like the sound of that."

I tried a grin. "I know exactly what you mean."

She grunted. "Let's get to the point."

I cleared my throat and cast a look at the floor. She was wearing a tight little skirt that was riding up a little, showing off her wonderful legs and threatening to reveal even more. "Uhmâ€¦ I'm not going to be able to see you anymore."

"Oh? Why not?"

"I'mâ€¦uhâ€¦ with someone else," I said but the words immediately struck me as lame and I rushed forward in explanation. "I'm a jerk, Sarah. I was seeing someone else at the same time I was seeing you. I didn't mean to lead anyone on; it had just been so long since anyone showed a real interest in me that I didn't want to throw out any options. It just sorta happened and I'm really sorry."

"Sorry it happened or sorry it didn't happen with me?"

It was a trick question and I measured my response carefully. "I'm sorry because I really didn't want to hurt anyone."

She chewed on her lip and hopped up to sit on the top of her desk. "To tell you the truth, Maddie. I kind of suspected bad news when I called the other day and another woman answered your phone."

I risked a glance at her, a little befuddled by her easy attitude. If the situation had been reversed, I'd already be indulging in some pretty sizable theatrics. "You're not mad?"

"Not particularly."

I scowled, viewing her response in a slightly offended and rather selfish light. "I guess it's nice to know that you don't think I'm worth getting all worked up about."

She chuckled. "I think I gave you the wrong impression."

I gave her an expectant look and caught my breath as she repositioned herself on the desk, hiking up her skirt and spreading her legs, letting me know that she had left the house this morning without her underwear.

"I don't mind sharing, Maddie."

I tore my eyes away and tried desperately to focus on the wall behind her, thankful that my sunglasses had hidden most of my reaction. I fumbled for words, but none came to mind as my rebellious vision kept straying back to what she obviously wanted me to see.

"Don't you want me, Maddie?" she asked, running a teasing hand over herself.

Zoinks! Time to get the hell out of here, Scoob! Not too long ago, behavior of this type would've reduced me to nothing more than a malleable automaton. Sex, or lack thereof, had always been one of my greatest weaknesses and apparently, I wasn't the only one aware of this flaw. It pissed me off that she would attempt to manipulate me in such a manner, and it pissed me off that I'd been such an easy read.

"Cover yourself up, Sarah. It's pretty to look at, but I'm not allowed to touch."

She froze, her gaze evaluating me icily.

"I may be a weak person, but I've got some scruples and a backbone. It's disappointing that you'd underestimate me so badly."

"Don't talk to me about disappointment," she snarled. "You want it just as bad as I do."

I blinked, confused. "Want what?"

She didn't answer as she slid off the desk and approached me. I tensed, almost positive that I was in for a slap. Instead, she lifted a gentle hand that ran over my cheek and found a seductive grip in my hair. I started to back away, but the grip became violent as she attempted to pull me close.

"Take me," she rasped, her expression anything but tender.

She was at least as strong as I was, maybe stronger and it was a struggle to keep distance between us. My temper was beginning to throw itself against the gates. "Sarah, you need to let go of me now."

"We're not finished yet," she hissed, using her other hand to grab the waist of my jeans; pulling me forward while it labored to get underneath.

"Yes, we are."

My hands shot out to grab the front of her blouse, pulling her forward to affect her balance and then shoving her away forcefully. She had to backpedal several steps in an effort to keep from falling. She righted herself and shot me a glare that was a mixture of daggers and surprise.

"I came here today because I thought you deserved more than a phone call. Now I wish that I'd taken the cowardly way out," I said, breathing deeply.

"Isn't that what you're doing now?" she asked as she went about straightening her clothes.

"If that's what you want to think."

"That's generous of you."

I sighed and made for the door. "Goodbye, Sarah."

I was seconds from a clean getaway when she spoke.

"Fuck you, Maddie."

--------- Once you got out of the city, it was a boring drive through seemingly endless miles of farmland. I spent a lot of time trying to forget the scene with Sarah, brooding over Anabel's moment, smoking, and singing along with the radio. I also spent no so small amount of time reminiscing over our recent coupling. I'd never, ever busted one off like that before and it was probably a good thing my ass had been in the air, or I'd still be pulling the sheets out of it. Fuckin' tubular, dude.

She loved me! Every time I thought about it I grew warm and my stomach felt a little queasy. I was walking on sunshine. Life was no longer such a downer and a cautious sense of optimism tinged my usually gloomy outlook.

I spotted my exit and after one last goofy, mushy sigh; I put on my game face. A few minutes of grinding along a bumpy, two-lane road brought me to the gate, and I rolled my window down to greet the attendant.

"Maddie Ledoux. The Warden is expecting me today."

He nodded and stepped back inside his shack. I could see him pick up the phone and I turned my attention to the landscape. After I got past the gate, it looked to be another half a mile to the complex itself. I studied it curiously, knowing that if things hadn't worked out with the good Senator, I might very well be a resident. A thought that made me shiver because prison dykes scared me. I wasn't cut out to be anyone's bitch and they'd be on a hottie like me faster than bullshit out of a Clinton.

"Miss Ledoux," he said. "Take a right at the intersection and follow it around to the east lot. Warden Crenshaw will be waiting for you inside."

"Thank you," I said, giving him a smile as I put the car in gear.

He nodded again and retreated back inside to open the gate, probably anxious to get out of the weather.

I followed his directions and ended up in a small parking lot populated with a few police cars from several different jurisdictions. Billy must've laid it on thick; I was getting special treatment. After I parked, I turned in my seat to dig Tish's file out of my bag and climbed out to amble toward the entrance. I found myself at a normal sized, but heavy steel door and I extended a hand to press the buzzer. I glanced up at the camera bearing down on me and had the almost overwhelming impulse to strike an absurd pose. I chuckled at myself and a second later, the door opened with an electronic clack.

I stepped into a warm hallway to be met by an imposing man of middle years. He shot me a charming smile and extended his hand.

"Miss Ledoux, I'm Mike Crenshaw. It's nice to meet you," he said with a beguiling southern accent.

"A pleasure," I said, accepting his greeting.

He gestured for me to walk with him and I strolled beside him to the end of the hall. Another door blocked the way and on the right, a man stood behind a glass window.

"You'll need to surrender any firearms or the like before we get inside," Crenshaw said casually, obviously having made the speech many times. "You know the drill."

I nodded and withdrew it from my holster; removing the magazine and ejecting the chambered round before passing it and the ammunition under the window to the man waiting to take possession. I'd left the little one in the car because no one needed to know I had it.

He started talking as soon as we got inside and began to travel. "I understand you're investigating the death of a police officer?"

"That's right."

He nodded. "I've had Brentwood moved to a private room. She'll remain in restraints. I can have a guard inside the room, it's up to you."

"She dangerous?"

"Increasingly so over the last year," he rumbled. "Was a model prisoner at first, but a place like this feeds on victims."

"How long is she in for?"

"Five years left on an eight year sentence."

"It would probably be wise to keep her segregated for the immediate future."

"I counted on that," he said, coming abreast of a window and gesturing. "Here she is."

I looked inside to see a masculine, brick shaped, black woman with a buzz cut manacled to a chair in front of a metal table. She had a tattoo on her neck that I couldn't make out and another one on her temple. She looked like a nasty piece of business.

"Want company?"

"I'll go it alone to start off with," I said, glancing up at him. "What are the chances of her cooperating?"

He shrugged. "Couldn't say."

I frowned. "Alright."

He gestured for a guard. "He'll be standing outside. No one will monitor your conversation and the camera inside will be inactive."

I understood and gave him a nod.

"I have some things to see to so I'll leave you to it."

"Thank you."

"Most welcome."

The guard let me inside and I entered the room to be blasted by an intense look of malice. She hated me right off the bat and wanted me to know it. If I had lived her life, I'd probably hate everyone too.

"Who the fuck are you?"

I tossed my file on the table and took a seat across from her. "You can call me Maddie."

"How 'bout I just call you bitch?"

"I'm not here to harass you and I'd like this to be as agreeable as possible, but if I were you, I'd just stick to Maddie."

She laughed. It wasn't a pleasant sound. "A little bitch like you shouldn't be talkin' shit."

I leaned back in my chair. "You should know that no one is recording us and the cameras have been turned off. Also, the guard outside will turn his back the second I start beating on you. Now, I only need a little information, and in return, I could make life easier for you."

Her eyes narrowed cruelly as she considered my words.

I opened my folder and put Tish's picture on the table. "You knew her. I want to know her too."

She didn't even look at it and I considered my options. Prison took away almost everything, existing was all most of them had. She would want to survive.

"LaTisha's dead. So is Clarice. They were murdered. You could be next, that's why you spent the night in solitary."

Her expression changed. To what I couldn't guess, but the hostility wasn't as starkly obvious.

"How could you help me?"

"What if the wise guys inside declared you off limits, Monica. Would you be left alone?"

She regarded me warily. "You ain't a cop then?"

"No. Would that help you?"

"What would I owe and why would they help me?"

"You'd owe nothing, and they'd help because I'll ask them to."

"You ain't a wop either."

"Nope."

"The mob ain't gonna look out for no nigger."

"You won't be friends, but they'll put the word out just the same. They'll honor it too."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because you want to."

She measured my words, taking her time, and leveling eyes at me in evaluation. I let her. She had no reason in the world to trust anyone and I couldn't honestly blame her, life had probably been nothing to her but a big shit sandwich.

Time dragged on, and I eventually reached for my smokes, offering her one that she declined with a shake of her head.

"What do you want to know?"

"Did you and Tish both work for Clarice?"

"Till she got married, yeah."

"LaTisha wasn't her name, do you know her real one?"

"She was just Tish to me."

"Did she ever talk about home or family?"

"Girls like us don't talk about family."

"How about boyfriends or girlfriends?"

"We had plenty of those."

"I mean like when you were growing up? A first kiss, a first crush, that sort of thing."

She scrunched up her face. "She talked about a boy from back when she was a kid once."

"Remember the name?"

She shook her head.

"Did she say where?"

"Some crappy place in Iowa."

Bells going off, I leaned forward to consult my file. "Do you remember what town?"

"Nah."

"Does Fowler sound about right?"

She lit up a little. "That's it."

I grinned. I had something to go on. "If you guys worked for Clarice, who did she work for?"

"Just herself at first."

"At first?"

"She got a boss. I didn't get to tag along, wasn't pretty enough."

I cringed a little, but I didn't let it show.

"Clarice always looked out for us, was kinda nice, you know? When she got a boss things changed."

"How so?"

"Clarice started getting bruises and stuff, couldn't look after us the way she used to."

"You never met this boss?"

"No, Tish did once. Wouldn't talk about it."

"Why not?"

"She was scared, had some bad shit done to her."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "She ever mention a name?"

"No, she was scared bad, wouldn't say nothin'."

"How about Clarice?"

"Same thing."

I sat back in my chair and crushed out my smoke, taking several minutes to contemplate what I'd learned. It looked like I was going to Iowa.

"You still gonna help me?"

"Yes, I am," I replied as I rose to my feet and collected my folder. "You'll have to spend some time in solitary, probably not too long. When you get out, the word will be around."

I was at the door when she spoke. "Maddie."

I turned around with an expectant look.

"You ain't a little bitch."

I smiled at her. "Sure I am."

Her lips twitched, it was probably the closest she could come. Only God would know the last time she had something to smile about. I gave her a nod and knocked on the door for the guard.

--------- I sat in the car for thinking things over for close to half an hour before I reached for my phone. I wished I had packed more clothes; I'd be out of town for a while.

"Winters."

"Hey, Billy."

"You get there?"

"Yeah."

"What's the scoop?"

"Got a lead. Tish is from Iowa. She mentioned it once to Monica and she got a ticket out there last year. I'd be willing to bet she was visiting family."

"You get any names?"

"No, she only remembered the town because I mentioned it."

"I take it there's a connection between Tish, Monica, and Clarice?"

"Yeah, Tish and Monica hooked for Clarice until she got a boss."

"Who's the boss?"

"Dunno, but from what I gather he was a brutal prick. I'm banking it's the guy I want."

"That I don't doubt. Some of Clarice's videos are pretty fuckin' rough."

"Any of them have a costar?"

"Oh yeah, but all of them were wearing masks so far."

"Masks?"

"Yep. Clarice is the only who appears without one."

"Then riddle me this, Gilligan. Why were there missing tapes?"

"Good question," he chuckled.

I sighed. "I wish I knew where Gus came into all of this."

"Figure that out and you'll have solved half the puzzle."

"I will."

"Yeah, you will. So what next?"

"I'm going to Fowler, Iowa. The Blaine County Sheriff's Department issued Tish a ticket. Could I get you to make a call out there to let them know I'm coming and why? Maybe they can help locate a relative."

"I can do that."

"Ballistics come back on Clarice?"

"Not yet. Can't officially confirm the same gun right now, but it was a .357."

"It's the same gun."

"I'm sure it is. How long you think you'll be?"

"No idea. Couple days at least."

"Anabel gonna let you run around that long without a leash?"

"Ha, ha."

He snickered. "I'll give ya a call later, let you know what to expect from law enforcement there."

"Thanks, Billy."

"See ya."

I put the car in gear and pointed it back toward the Interstate, planning stop at the next station to grab some gas, a map, a Yoo-hoo, and maybe a girly magazine.

V

Six hours later, I glared at my uncooperative phone angrily, castigating myself for not calling when I had the chance. Apparently, my service didn't extend into or include Bumfuck, Egypt.

I was approaching the outskirts of Fowler, and I hadn't seen anything but a farmer in filthy overalls that waved at me from the seat of his tractor since leaving the Interstate three hours earlier. I suspected that when I cruised into town, I wouldn't be entering anything remotely close to a thriving metropolis. I hoped fervently that I might find at least a decent motel for the prospect of sleeping in my car wasn't very appealing. Actually, I didn't much care for the idea of sleeping without Anabel either. I was hooked and it didn't bother me in the slightest.

An unexpected stop sign prompted me to stomp on the brakes in surprise as Fowler suddenly materialized in front of me. I scanned the dozen or so buildings that appeared to make up the little town and groaned. Nothing was open and they obviously didn't have a motel. It was only nine in the evening and the place was already deserted. I started moving and sighed as it took all of a minute to coast from one end of town to the other. Disenchanted, I turned around and cruised over to take advantage of the settlement's single streetlight.

I parked and left the motor running while I consulted my map, hoping to find a larger town close by that could at least put me up for the night. It didn't take long for me to realize that it was a lost cause. Flashing lights caught my attention before I could slip into a proper funk and I watched the police car pull over to park beside me.

A rugged, handsome man in casual clothes got out of the car and strolled toward me with a casual swagger. It wasn't the kind of walk most cops would assume when approaching a vehicle at night and curious, I rolled down my window to greet him.

"Are you Maddie?" he asked pleasantly.

"That's me."

"I'm Lance Toliver, County Sheriff."

"Nice to meet you."

He nodded and shot me a smile. "Your friend Winters gave me a call this afternoon and told me to expect you."

"You always greet visitors in the middle of the night?"

He chuckled. "Well, he called me again later when he couldn't get a hold of you and asked if I wouldn't look after ya."

I grinned. "Does that mean you can point me toward a motel?"

"Nope, but you can bunk with me."

"Thank you, but I don't want to be a bother."

"No bother at all. I've got a spare room and you're hours from anything half as comfortable."

I debated, but it was quick decision. The Sheriff was a wholesome looking fella not much older than myself. "If you're sure I wouldn't be putting you out?"

"Not at all. The house is about five minutes away if you want to follow me?"

"You bet."

He gave me another smile and returned to his car.

The trip was quick and the majority of it consisted of a jaunt down a long dirt road that ended in front of a quaint little house in the middle of nowhere. As soon as I parked, I dragged my overnight bag out of the back seat and got out of the car to meet him. He ambled over and shook my hand amiably.

"Thanks for putting me up and I'm sorry to drag you out so late."

"Nonsense. If I ever get out your way, I'd expect you to return the favor."

I chuckled. "Count on it."

He gestured at the house. "I'm sure you're hungry. Hope leftovers are to your liking?"

"That'd be fine."

"Come on, then," he said, starting toward the door. "Let's get you settled."

"Is everybody out here so neighborly?"

"Not everybody, but lots of folks are."

I followed him into an inviting, carefully decorated house that wasn't anything like I expected a bachelor to reside in. The good sheriff was either a butt bandit or he had a girlfriend.

"You can throw your stuff in here," he said, opening a door at the end of a hall and standing aside for me. "Bathroom is a door down to your right if you want to clean up."

"I'll do that."

"When you're done, find your way back to the kitchen and I'll have a plate for you."

"Okay."

I watched him disappear and then hurried into the bathroom to relieve my floating teeth. I glanced around as I took my leak, noticing the flowery wallpaper, the assorted knickknacks, and the pink shower curtain rings. The house had a distinctly feminine touch and Toliver didn't look enchanted so I was forced to conclude he had a significant other. I immediately thought of Anabel and I rushed through my paperwork, hoping to make a phone call before it got too late.

I spotted him sitting at the kitchen table going through a magazine as I stepped from the hall.

He looked up at me. "Have a seat, I'm warming your chow in the oven."

"Thank you, but would you mind if I used your phone first?"

"Go ahead," he said, raising an arm to point across the room. "But if you're worried about your video place, Winters told me to tell you he called to let them know you'd be a couple of days."

I smiled. That Billy was a slick one. "I guess I don't need that phone after all," I said, taking a seat across from him. "Anything else I should know?"

"Not that I know of."

"How did you know what time I'd be in town?"

"Just guessed. I'd been waiting for you about an hour."

"I guess I was easy to spot."

"Yep," he chuckled. "A mafia staff car with out of state plates sticks out like a sore thumb in Fowler."

"Mafiaâ€¦" I started confusedly, but then grinned. "You mean the bumper sticker?"

"Yeah. So what is it that you're looking for out here? Winters said you're investigating the murder of several people, including a police officer."

"That's true. I'm hoping to find relatives of one of the deceased. I've reason to believe she grew up around here and one of your deputies issued her a ticket last year."

"If she has kin out here they shouldn't be too hard to find. The county only has a population of seven hundred or so. What's the name?"

"I don't know her name. She was living under a false one for at least the last seven years."

"How old was she?"

"No telling, she looked like she was in her late forties, but her bogus birth certificate put her at thirty-nine."

He grunted thoughtfully and rose to grab my leftovers. Taking up his chair again after serving me a plate of beef, green beans, and some sort of potato casserole.

"Do you have a picture of her?"

"It's in my bag."

"Hmmm. I guess I could show it to some of the old-timers and there's only two high schools in the county, you might find a yearbook photo."

I spoke around a mouthful. "The schools were where I was gonna look first."

"If she grew up around here, someone will know her."

I nodded. "It's a lucky break that's she's from an area like this."

"We'll find you something to go on, but you're an outsider here and everyone knows it. If you don't mind riding shotgun, I'll chauffeur you around. Most would be more inclined to talk to you if I were along."

"I don't want to impose on you any more than I already have."

"I'll let you know when you're an imposition, Maddie."

I smiled and gave him a little nod. "Fair enough."

"Well, I think I'm gonna hit the hay," he said as he rose to his feet and indulged in a yawn. "Just throw your dishes in the sink when you're done. The remote for the TV is on the coffee table."

"Thanks again, Sheriff."

He gave me a sour look. "Just Lance, please."

"Alright, Lance."

"I'm on the road at six thirty, there's an alarm in your room."

"I'll be ready."

"See ya in the morning."

"Goodnight."

I watched him out the corner of my eye as he plodded across the room and disappeared up a staircase. How many people you just met would take you in, feed you, and then leave to your own devices within their home? Not too damned many. He seemed like a simple, uncommonly decent person with a quiet sense of humor. He also seemed a little sad somehow and I wondered why as I finished my meal.

After I rinsed my dishes off in the sink, I puttered around the living room in casual inspection. The mantle over the fireplace gave me my answer and a lump rose in my throat. Judging from the picture, his wife had been beautiful, and judging from the urn, she'd also been cremated.

Unsettled, I wandered down the hall to my room, set the alarm, and got out of my clothes. I lay in bed and stared off into the dark until my eyelids grew heavy. I wished that I'd done so many things differently. I wished this were over. I wished I were at home with Anabel, and I wished that I still had Gus.

--------- I traveled down the hall at exactly six thirty to find Lance waiting at the door with two Styrofoam cups. Other than the khaki uniform shirt and the holstered automatic, he dressed himself casually.

"Morning," he said, offering me one of his cups. "Just coffee until we get to the station. Someone always brings donuts. Will that do you for a while?"

"Thanks," I replied. "Donuts are great, I'm usually not a breakfast person."

"Me either."

I sipped on my java as I followed him to the car, and with the indulgence in one vice, the desire for another was quickly ignited. Since I had the willpower of a gnat, I turned to him as soon as he got us on the road.

"Would you care if I smoked?"

"Not if you crack a window."

"Deal."

I rolled down the window about an inch and lit up. "How many deputies do you have, Lance?"

"Eight in all, three are part time. I see you brought your files, can I see the picture?"

"Sure," I said, digging it out and handing it over.

He studied it with a frown. "Doesn't look familiar."

"How long have you lived in this area?"

"All my life. Is this the only photo you have?"

"Yeah, I guess I should make some copies."

"We can do that at the office."

"Does Deputy Tanner still work for you? He was the one who issued the ticket she got out here."

"Yeah, but he works the graveyard. If we need to, we'll catch up to him this evening and see what he remembers."

"Okay."

"It hit me this morning that I just assumed you were a cop, you're not are you?"

"I was briefly. I'm a private detective now."

"If Winters is heading the investigation why did he send you instead of a cop?"

"Because the murdered policeman was my Dad."

He grimaced. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you didn't know."

He paused awkwardly. "You'll get the guy you're looking for."

"Eventually, yes. However, I'm at dead end if I can't find someone that knows who the woman in that picture really is."

"It's a small county, Maddie. Someone knows. Probably more than a few."

"You seem pretty certain."

"I am. Tell me, why did she change her name?"

"I assume because she was hiding or running from something and whatever that was, she ran right into a life that couldn't have been much better."

"How's that?"

"She was a whore. A cheap one that worked a part of the city that isn't very gentle."

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel for a moment. "Lemme chew on that for a bit."

"Something come to mind?"

"Maybe a place to start looking."

"Good deal."

He nodded as we pulled up behind a brick building that looked centuries old and parked between two other police cars.

We got out in silence, and I followed him inside, the sounds of laughter becoming audible as soon as the door closed behind us. I cocked an eyebrow as I trailed him into a room populated be a single table, half a dozen folding chairs, and three of his youthful deputies. The men stopped their chattering when I stepped out from behind the Sheriff, and I had to bite down on a snicker at hearing the collective inhale as they strove to suck in their bellies.

"Give it a rest, boys," Lance chuckled. "This is Detective Ledoux, and she won't be around long enough to get to know, or want to know, any of you."

They all laughed and I was greeted with smiles. "Hi, fellas. Just call me Maddie."

Lance nudged me. "Let me see that photo again."

I handed it over and he placed it on the table for everyone to see. "Anybody recognize the woman in this picture?"

They all took turns with it, but the result was negative.

"What's her name?" one asked.

"Unknown. However, she grew up around here so someone knows. I'll make copies for everyone and I want you to show it to anybody you encounter," he said, turning to me when he was finished. "Grab a donut and then meet me in my office. It's the last door on your left."

"Okay."

He reclaimed the photo and strolled out of the room so I wandered over to peruse my possible choices. The deputies bombarded me with questions the second they were out from under the Sheriff's supervision.

"Where you from, Maddie?"

"Got a boyfriend?"

"How long you gonna be in town?"

I ignored them as I poked through the box of donuts, trying to find one that wasn't cream filled. I hated filled donuts; mainly because they reminded me of a loaded diaper, and that wasn't an image you wanted on your mind while eating. Finally, I settled on one that didn't conceal a nasty surprise and turned to face my host of suitors. They didn't appear to be but a few years out of high school.

"I was born in France, I'm not single, and I should only be here a couple of days," I prattled around a mouthful.

"Can you speak French?"

"Is your boyfriend a big guy?"

"A couple of days could be plenty of time."

I gave them an amused look. "Am I the only woman in the county?"

My question produced a mixture of shrugs and unrepentant grins as I wiped the crumbs from my chin with the back of my hand. "Thanks for the ego boost, but it's a lost cause fellas," I chuckled, evading their cheerful antics and following after the sheriff.

I stopped halfway down the hall as he emerged from his office and spoke into a room out of my sight.

"Is there anything that needs my personal attention this morning, Molly?"

"Nothing one of the other guys can't handle, Sheriff."

"Good, I'll be out in the boonies all day."

"Alrighty."

He turned and closed the door to his office before ambling toward me. "You ready?"

"That was fast."

"I overlooked a possible source of information that might speed this along a little."

"Oh?"

"Yep. Sue Judy."

I gave him a baffled look.

He grinned. "I'll give you the story in the car."

--------- Sue Judy, according to the Sheriff, was an eighty-seven year old, chain-smoking woman who had the dirt on everyone. The old war hammer had never ventured out of the county once in her entire life, never married, and still lived in the house she'd been born in. Apparently, she was still as sharp as a tack, surprisingly energetic, and stubborn enough to refuse to let anyone look after her.

All one had to do to get the scoop was to pay her a visit. A visit that I was warned would take the better part of the day. Sue relished company. Guests were subjected to endless hours of personal recollections and it was taken for granted that you'd stay for at least one meal. If you failed to comply, you'd walk away with nothing but the heartburn that her cooking practically guaranteed.

The sheriff told me all of this in a tone that implied a looming ordeal, speaking as if he was being directed at gunpoint to an all day insurance seminar that he'd be forced to stay awake for. However, I considered an afternoon in the woman's company a small price to pay if it produced results.

The drive took a little over an hour on the asphalt, and another ten minutes down a bumpy dirt road carved between a wasteland of dead cornfields. As we pulled up to what I assumed was her home, my mouth dropped open and I looked at Lance for confirmation.

"Tell me she doesn't live in that thing?"

He chuckled. "All year round."

I shook my head. The dilapidated wooden house leaned heavily to one side, looked to be about the size of three refrigerator boxes, and hadn't seen a drop of paint since the Depression.

"How the hell does she keep from freezing to death?"

"Trust me, the woman is tougher than you and I put together."

"I don't doubt it."

As the car came to a stop, my eyes strayed to the little building sitting all by itself in the backyard and I pointed. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yep."

"How long has it been there?"

"Since before I was born."

I shuddered. "I'll bet the grass out back is really, really, really green in the summer."

He laughed and opened his door. "Come on, it's early enough we might only have to stay for lunch."

I got out after him, hoping like hell that I could get through the day without having to potty. We were almost to the porch when the door opened and a tiny figure wrapped in a heavy blanket tottered out to glare at us with fiery hazel eyes.

"What ya want, Sheriff? And who's that little thing you got with ya?"

I grinned. I certainly wasn't a giant but I stood at least half a foot taller than she did.

"Hi Sue," Lance said. "This is Maddie and we're looking for a girl who grew up around here. We have a picture and was kinda hoping you'd be able to recognize her."

"Maddie, huh?" she asked suspiciously. "You some sort of FBI agent?"

"No, ma'am."

She squinted at me for a moment. "Better get out of the cold then," she said finally, spinning as the words left her mouth to reenter the house.

I turned a questioning look at Lance, but he just shrugged and gestured for me to precede him up the steps. I took them carefully, afraid they would collapse under my weight. Surprisingly, they held and I entered the little home cautiously.

Jesus Christ! It was like stepping into an inferno. The heat so intense that every sweat gland in my body sprang into emergency action. The air was thick enough to bottle and my hair immediately pasted itself to my scalp. For God's sake, I could even feel my toenails perspiring.

"Is it warm enough for you in here, Sue?" Lance asked, taking off his ball cap and wiping his face with a forearm.

The woman was standing in front of an old wood-burning stove still wrapped in her blanket. "I get along," she said, her eyes peeking out at us from under her covers. "Chili for lunch, you're staying aren't ya, Sheriff?"

Just the thought of hot chili made me feel faint.

"You bet, Sue."

I closed my eyes, fairly certain that I wouldn't last an hour.

"Make yourselves comfortable then."

How could such a ramshackle little dwelling be so well insulated? I took off my jacket and plodded over to seat myself in a wooden chair. If he were in my shoes right now, Satan himself would be asking God for fuckin' Popsicle.

--------- Four tortuous hours later, I couldn't help but smile. Sue had finally left the stove to sit with us and had immediately launched into storytelling mode. Eventually, she produced a pack of unfiltered cigarettes and shed her blanket to reveal a weathered face and a head of scraggy, unkempt hair. She smoked like a chimney and, for the most part, I listened with a feigned courtesy since it was too hot to do anything but pretend. I had long ago rolled up my sleeves and lost the top four buttons on my shirt. It was a small comfort since my clothes had already soaked through several times over in places.

Her latest story had caught my interest for a variety of reasons and I listened amusedly. Obviously, the younger Miss Judy could've cared less about gender and had taken a surprising amount of lovers from both sexes. She wasn't shy and her attention to detail was shockingly graphic. Despite my extreme discomfort, I found her candid commentary in front of a complete stranger to be a hoot.

When she reached the end of her sordid story, she rose and puttered back to the stove, leaving Lance and I to share a look of quiet humor.

"Grab a bowl off the table, I ain't gonna serve ya," she barked.

The Sheriff and I rose to our feet and fell into a makeshift chow line, waiting dutifully to be served our portion.

"There's drinks in the box," she said as she plopped a ladle full of chili into my bowl.

I looked at my lunch with no small amount of nausea, the steam rising from my food made me want to start weeping. It looked about as appetizing as a bowl of diarrhea.

I was wondering if I could avoid lunch by pretending to have a seizure when Lance thrust an ice cold RC Cola into my hand as he passed. The temperature of the can against my hand was practically orgasmic and I rushed over to my chair to greedily sample the contents. I drank half of it in one burning swallow and placed the can against my forehead, savoring the minuscule relief it offered me.

As I was stifling my moans of pleasure, Sue returned to her chair and leveled a look at Lance.

"Who's this girl you're looking for, Sheriff?"

He stood a little too quickly and I was immediately suspicious. "I left the picture in the car, Sue. I'll be right back."

The bastard! I watched with envy as he sprang for the door and vanished into the inviting winter air. I frowned as I imagined him spinning around happily in the front yard like Julie Andrews, basking in the relief I knew he must be experiencing. I had no doubt that he'd left the picture outside on purpose.

"Eat your food, girl," she ordered and I submissively dropped a gloomy gaze to the chow in front of me.

I poked the chili with my spoon reluctantly, irrationally upset at how long it was taking for Lance to return. I could've crawled to the car and back in the time he'd already taken. He'd gone on without me to save himself, leaving me to die slowly inside a house that was really just a furnace in disguise. Irritably, I lifted my spoon; perhaps the chili would just kill me.

The door opened and I delayed ingesting the horrid concoction long enough to shoot a glare in his direction. He gave me a sympathetic smile and seated himself with a pleased sigh; acting as if he'd just received a blowjob in a cool spring rain. I hated him.

"Here you go, Sue," he said, leaning over to hand her Tish's picture.

Angrily, I took a bite of my chili and froze. Holymotherfuckingsonofabitch! My eyes wouldn't blink fast enough to clear the tears and I couldn't breathe since there was a trail of burning napalm creeping toward my belly. Trembling hands lifted my soda and I drained the rest of the can without feeling it. The beverage had no effect and I bolted to my feet, gasping desperately for air. Finally, I managed a ragged breath and stumbled over to the little metal box that served as Sue's refrigerator. I didn't drink the soda I seized from the ice, but pressed the can to my lips with a whimper. They were smoldering like fresh lava and felt to be about the size of truck tires.

"Are you okay, Maddie?" Lance asked in concern, rising from his seat and approaching me.

I managed a nod and waved him away, the fire beginning to dwindle. I popped the top of my lifesaving cola and sipped gingerly at the contents while he looked on in worry.

"You ain't from the country are ya, girl?" Sue asked, a nefarious smile plastered across her withered features.

I shook my head.

She chuckled. "It'll be just as hot going out as it was going in."

Gee, what a pleasant thought. "Great," I rasped. "I'll just buy a snow cone to wipe my ass with."

She clapped her hands together and cackled gleefully. "Where'd you find this one, Sheriff?"

Lance just offered a shrug as he chuckled in tune with the old crone.

I ignored both of them, deciding to focus on the rest of my medicinal beverage. Eventually, they tapered off and Sue leaned back in her rocker to light a cigarette, puffing on it thoughtfully as she studied the picture.

"Do you know her, Sue?" Lance asked, reclaiming his seat and helping himself to the malevolent chili as if it were ice cream.

"Yup, one of the Booker girls. She ain't as old as she looks in this picture."

"You know her full name?" I asked, suddenly animated.

She shot me an annoyed look. "Yup, Julie Booker."

"She have kin nearby, Sue?" Lance asked.

"Mother died when she was just a babe. Father raised her and her sister. He died a couple years back, thank God."

"Is it a good thing he's dead?" I asked.

"Yup."

"Why?"

"He kept his lovin' in the family, if ya know what I mean."

I winced. "Damn."

"What about her sister, Sue?" Lance asked.

"Last I knew she had a place out on the county line. Julie up and left not long after gettin' hitched to that Lloyd Parker. Course, that was years ago."

The Sheriff's expression turned cruel and I looked at him curiously. "What's her sister's name?"

"Dawn."

I caught the Sheriff's eye and he nodded. "Thank you, Sue. You've been very helpful."

"Yes, thank you, ma'am," I added.

She grunted. "Where's Julie at now?"

Lance and I exchanged another quick glance. "She's dead, ma'am."

She shook her head sadly. "She was a sweet child, deserved better than she got."

"That's a fact," I said, nodding politely and trying not to look hurried as I made tracks for the door.

My feet hit the front porch and I couldn't quite suppress a groan of ecstasy as a wave of cold air washed over me. I left my jacket off as I strode to the car. Lance followed behind me and the second we were both seated; we rolled down our respective windows. He looked over at me with a smile.

"Feeling better?"

"You know it, but I'm closing in on another emergency."

"You and I both," he said, dropping the car into gear. "There's a beer joint about fifteen minutes away."

"Let's put a rush on."

He nodded and a second later, we were screaming down the dirt road with flashing lights and a wailing siren.

Part Four

I

The 'beer joint' was nothing more than a sheet metal building in the middle of a dirt parking lot and, going by the amount of trucks already surrounding the place, it was a popular getaway. As soon as the car stopped, I left the Sheriff in my dust as I made a beeline inside and looked around for the facilities. A sign in the back beckoned to me and I swiftly traversed the room.

I knew the instant I closed the door behind me that I wouldn't be taking a seat. Call me a prude, but I wasn't about to place my naked ass on anything that populated the disgusting little room. In fact, if I thought I could pull it off, I'd piss in the sink since it looked to be a hell of a lot cleaner than the toilet.

After a delicate, carefully balanced urination, I washed my hands and wandered back into the crowd. I spotted Lance leaning up against the bar and I walked over to jump up on the stool beside him.

"Wanna beer?" he asked.

"Thanks, but I'm not much of a beer drinker."

"They don't have much of anything else."

"I'm fine. I saw the face you made when Sue mentioned Parker. Want to fill me in?"

The scowl returned. "He's of piece of shit."

"I gathered that."

He tilted his beer. "Couple of years ago, a girl came into the station all beat up. Told me Parker did it, told me a lot of other things too."

"Like?"

"She'd moved here from Des Moines to teach school and started dating Parker a few months later. I guess he waited a little while, and then started pounding on her. When he had her broken, he started giving her to his friends for sport. It wasn't the first time or the first girl, but it was the first time I had someone willing to testify."

My teeth had started to grind before he finished. "I take it he's not in prison?"

"No," he snarled. "When she got out of the hospital, she went to back Des Moines. Her body was found a week before she was to appear in court."

I sighed. "Parker's work?"

"Parker was in custody, judge wouldn't give him bail. But, I have no doubt he was behind it. The son of a bitch smiled all the way out of the courthouse."

"His friends?"

"That's what I believe, yes."

I shook my head sadly. "Julie couldn't catch a break. No wonder she ran."

"Yep."

"Sue was right, she deserved better, a lot fucking better," I growled. "Where's this Parker at now?"

"Does it matter? He probably doesn't know anything and, if he did, I guarantee he won't tell you anything."

"It matters."

He turned a thoughtful eye in my direction. "I hope you're not thinking what I think you're thinking."

"And if I were?"

He sipped at his beer for a moment. "You know what?"

"What?"

"In this particular case, I suddenly find myself not giving a shit at all."

I knew Parker had nothing to do with Tish's death; he was just another spoke on the wheel. She needed someone to stick up for her and I wanted the job. I was a little late, but I'd extract a price nonetheless. "Justice doesn't always find everyone it should, Sheriff."

He nodded. "Parker's one of them, no doubt."

"If I dropped in on him, would it present a problem?"

He took a deep breath. "As Blaine County's chief law enforcement officer, I can assure you that anything other than a murder investigation would be handled in a very slipshod manner."

I smiled. "I can deal with that."

"When do you want to call on him?"

"I'll stop by on the way out of town."

"Sounds like a plan," he said, downing the rest of his beer. "Come on, let's go find Dawn Booker."

I hopped off my stool. "Let's ride."

--------- A quick call to the dispatcher yielded the information we needed and it took another hour of travel to get close to our destination. Unfortunately, Dawn lived on a rural route so it took another thirty minutes to finally locate her residence.

The trailer house appeared to be in only slightly better condition than Sue Judy's shack and the yard was filled with an assortment of children's toys. I stood at the foot of the steps as Lance banged on the door.

"Who is it?"

"Sheriff Toliver, ma'am."

A full minute passed until the door opened a crack and a pair of blue eyes appeared. She could damn near be Tish's younger twin. "What do you want, Sheriff?"

"Are you Dawn Booker?"

She nodded.

"Can we come in? There's a few things we'd like to discuss with you."

"Who's we and what do you want to talk about?"

He gestured at me. "This is Detective Ledoux, Miss Booker. She'd like to talk to you about your sister Julie."

Her eyes widened and she stared at me in horror. "I haven't seen Julie in years."

"You're not in trouble, Dawn," I said gently. "And we know she came out here last year."

"You don't know anything," she hissed.

"I know more than you think. Julie changed her name to LaTisha and she came to visit you after a fight with her husband."

She struggled for a moment and when she spoke, it was in a small voice. "Is she okay?"

I choked down the lump in my throat. "Perhaps we could come inside?"

She placed a knowing hand over her mouth and opened the door. The tears were already beginning as she directed to us to a seat. "What's happened?"

I shared a quick, helpless look with Lance and cleared my throat. "Julie's dead. She was murdered."

She collapsed into a chair and buried her face in her hands. I tore my eyes away and concentrated on the carpet, trying desperately not to cry myself. Eventually, she lifted her head and looked at me. "Who killed her?"

"That's what I want to know."

She sniffled. "She saved me you know."

"From what, Dawn?"

"From father. She'd fight him every time he came for me. She'd let him have her, but she fought to keep him away from me."

I brought a hand up to wipe at my eyes. "Did she run away because of Lloyd Parker?"

She nodded.

"After she left, how often did you talk to her?"

"Never. She sent money every month, but we never spoke until she showed up last year."

"Did you know what she was doing?"

"No."

A small mercy. "When she left the first time, did she tell you where she was going? Did she leave you a number, anything?"

She started to shake her head, but then glanced up sharply. "She called the day after she left to let me know she was alright, I made her give me a number so I could call her back. She wasn't there when I called."

"You still have that number?"

"I wrote it down in my book. I still use the same one."

"May I see it?"

She rose and disappeared into the back, reemerging a moment later to hand me a little black book. She pointed at the number and I handed the book to Lance. "Could you find out where this is? I think it's a Wisconsin area code."

"Yep. Be right back," he said, rising and making his way out to the car.

I pulled out my own book and jotted down a number, tearing it off and handing it to her. "Dawn, in case you don't have it, this is Sidney's number. I don't believe he knows about you. Heâ€¦he seems to be a decent person and I know he cared deeply for Tiâ€¦ I mean Julie."

She accepted it and I wrote down another number. "This is my number. If you ever feel like leaving this place behind, I can find you a good job around good people."

"Thank you."

"Call me, Dawn. I can help more than you know."

"Why would you?"

"Because somebody should've helped Julie a long time ago."

She digested this suspiciously, but finally gave me a nod as Lance poked his head back in and I looked at him expectantly.

"It's a hotel in Madison, Wisconsin. I had the office give them a call, they have records for at least the last ten years."

I turned back to Dawn. "Julie had aliases, did you know any of them besides LaTisha?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"Exactly how long ago did Julie leave?"

"Seven years, three months, nineteen days," she replied immediately.

I stared at her thoughtfully.

"Did Sidney bury her, Detective?"

"My name is Maddie, and yes, he did."

"I'll call him, I want to visit," she said, her eyes starting to shine again.

"Do that and then give me a ring," I said as I rose to my feet. "I'm sorry, but I need to go."

"I'll talk to you soon."

"I hope so, Dawn."

She rose to see me out and I smiled at her before I took the steps. Emotions were churning inside me, and none of them were gentle or forgiving. The more I learned, the angrier I became. Tish never had a chance; with every step she took there had been someone waiting in line to abuse her. She endured it all if only to look after a sister that adored her. I wish everybody had that kind of fortitude, I sure as hell didn't. I flinched as I recalled the words I'd spoken to her when we first met, they tasted bitter now and I wished I could take them back.

"You in there, Maddie?" Lance asked.

I blinked. "Huh?"

"We've been in the car for five minutes, you haven't said a word."

"Sorry, just thinking."

"I'll bet. I'll also wager that if you follow Julie's trail long enough, it'll give you all the answers."

"I believe you're right, but how long is the trail?"

"Who knows? The next thing you learn could be the game breaker."

"I hope that's the case."

"You never know. I assume you'll be going to Madison?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"In the morning. That is, if you don't mind putting me up for another night?"

"Nope, but I'm going to insist you buy me dinner."

I chuckled and settled into my seat for the drive back. "Deal."

--------- I lay in bed that night and contemplated a great many things. I thought about how lucky I'd been, about how I took so much for granted. How might my life have turned out if I hadn't had a parent like Gus? Could I have been a Tish Binkowski? Was it just luck of the draw? What would it have been like to grow up knowing that no matter where you turned you were always outnumbered and that there was someone or something lurking behind every corner in search of a victim? What would it be like to be that victim? I couldn't even imagine, nor did I really want to. Tish's life had been one horror after another but deep down, she was a better person than I could've hoped to be if I'd had to walk in her shoes.

And what about me? When I got out of bed in the morning I had every intention of beating Lloyd Parker to within a pubic hair of his life. I was looking forward to it. With that asshole Senator I'd just lost control, but with Parker, it would be premeditated. And then there was the killer, a person that I could no longer deny I wanted to murder in cold blood. Was I a monster? Did I have the right to dispense justice the way I saw fit? The answer was chilling because it went against everything I wanted to believe in. I wanted to believe that the system worked, but the truth of the matter is, it worked for some and overlooked others. It turned an unseeing eye on people like Hilary and Parker while people like Tish paid the price.

Did the simpleminded fools that protested fanatically against the death penalty really know what it was like to be a victim? How many of them had lost a loved one and lived with the knowledge that the killer who had taken that person from them was growing fat in prison? Did they really have a clue?

Did anyone in this country really know what it was to be oppressed? For the most part, the answer had to be no. In America, unlike other places in the world, you weren't executed because of your religious denomination, your sexual orientation, or because you happened to be a race other than white.

Tish knew what oppression was.

Where was Greenpeace when Tish needed help? Where were the morons that thought abolishing guns would abolish crime? Where was Jesse Jackson, and why wasn't he there to be part of the problem and not the solution? Why was there not an Ivy League professor, that hadn't spent a moment of his life in the real world, appearing on CNN to inform the masses how the virtues of irresponsible government could've saved the day? Johnny Cochran sure as shit wasn't going to represent her. No one was gonna throw her a gay pride parade or a Million Mom march, and religion couldn't have been much solace to a woman who had to sell her body. All she wanted was to survive and, in the end, it just wasn't enough. Any zealot, who screamed for rights they thought they were somehow deprived of, might want to step off their egotistical soapbox and look around before starting in with the rhetoric. There was always someone worse off than you. Tish had been entitled to the most basic of rights yet was denied all of them. A silent victim who had real problems. Who screamed for her?

Maybe I was a monster, but I didn't really give a fuck. I'd scream for Tish. I couldn't save the world, but I just might make it a little bit cleaner.

Eventually, I rolled over and closed my eyes. I missed Anabel and, if I accomplished nothing else, I wanted to try my best to be everything to her she wanted me to be.

--------- Lance was waiting for me at the kitchen table when I got up and around. I set my bag down as I took a seat and looked curiously at the plastic case he had in front of him.

"Morning," I said.

"Good morning. Got some coffee on, wanna cup for the road?"

"Please," I said. "Whatcha have there?"

"Take a look," he said, sliding the box across the table.

I opened it, removing a map, an envelope, and a tranquilizer pistol. I gave him a confused look.

"Parker has a pair of mean dogs. They'll rush you if he ain't around to stop them or they don't know you."

"Ah."

"The map is to his place, he has a lot of land and it's off the main road."

I nodded. "What's in the envelope?"

"My address. Drop me a note and return my pistol when you've found who you're looking for."

"I'll do that."

"Be sure that you do."

I glanced over the map, it was quite detailed. "This isn't a store bought map."

"Nope."

I looked at him knowingly. "You didn't make it last night either."

He grinned. "Nope."

"What were you waiting for?"

He shrugged. "I'm the Sheriff and Parker knows it. I'd have to kill him, and I'm not prepared to do that."

"I can understand that."

He stood from his chair to pour coffee into two Styrofoam cups. When he placed one in front of me, I stood as well.

"I don't think I can thank you enough for all your help," I mumbled.

"Sure you can."

"How?"

"Tell me the truth."

"What truth is that?"

"You're not investigating, Maddie. You're hunting."

I stared at him for a moment. "What tipped you off?"

"You've asked all the wrong questions. You're only interested in the end result."

I gave him a nod of concession. "You're right."

He smiled. "Yep."

"So why help me?"

"A couple of reasons."

"Wanna share?"

He sighed. "Let's just say that I'm a little more jaded than I once was. There's more gray than there is black and white."

I pursed my lips. "That's true."

"Yeah, it is. You best be on your way."

I dug a card out of my jacket and placed it on the table. "That's my number if you ever find yourself in town. Give me a call and I'll buy you another dinner."

"Alrighty, I might just do that."

"Good," I said as I reached down to grab my bag. I shouldered it and focused my eyes on the wall behind him, raising an arm to point. "What the hell is that?"

He turned to look and I rushed forward to hug him, planting a quick kiss on his cheek. "See ya later, Sheriff," I mumbled in his ear before turning to grab the stuff off the table.

He chuckled behind me as I made my way for the door. "See ya later, Maddie."

--------- The Parker estate was actually quite impressive. From where I'd left my car, it had taken me almost forty-five minutes to travel to within sight of the house he lived in. The little dwelling was an eyesore in the middle of a mass of sparkling farm equipment, several shiny new cars, and a barn that must have cost a fortune. It didn't say much for his priorities.

I squatted at the edge of a tree line and studied my destination through binoculars. Sure enough, there were two Dobermans lounging on the front porch. I considered my options. If I got too close, I wouldn't have time to load a second dart in the pistol Lance had given me before one of the dogs reached me. I'd have to try from a distance so I scrutinized my surroundings for a place to launch an offensive. Finally, I settled on one and gathered myself up for the trip.

It was slow going. I couldn't risk alerting the dogs before I was ready and I went to great lengths to make as little noise as possible. Maybe I wasn't as stealthy as I thought, or maybe the dogs just picked up on my scent. Whatever it was, I knew I'd fucked up as I turned to check on them and found them running at full speed in my direction. Biting down on a sudden panic, I reached into my jacket for the tranquilizer pistol and leveled it at the closest of the rapidly approaching dogs.

The dart struck the mutt in the neck and he whined at the impact, dropping to the ground and rolling back and forth in an attempt to dislodge it. I fumbled for the second one, trying to load it while keeping on eye on the remaining dog. My concentration was for shit, and I was turning to run when I felt the dart fall into the chamber. Closing in on terror as the dog closed in on me, I pulled the trigger and brought an arm up to protect my face and throat.

The dog slammed into me like a ton of bricks and I lost my breath as my back hit the ground. I managed to throw the pooch off and roll to my knees, pulling my roscoe from the holster. Playtime was over. My finger was tight on the trigger when I noticed the dog wasn't moving, and a quick inspection revealed the dart in his shoulder. I bent over to catch my breath.

After a moment, I rose to my feet and dusted myself off. I cast a careful eye on the house, but apparently my little ruckus had gone unnoticed. I made tracks for the front door, digging the required items out my bag.

I wasn't a kung fu superstar and was too little to stand toe to toe with much of anyone. The secret to my success was trickery and brutality. I had no intention of underestimating Lloyd Parker, and I certainly wasn't gonna give him an opportunity to fight back. I held the stun gun in my left hand and the police baton in my right, hiding both behind my back and using my foot to knock on the door. An answer wasn't forthcoming so I kicked it again, louder and longer.

"What the fuck!" a voice boomed from inside.

I waited and kicked the door one more time. I could hear footsteps pound toward me from inside and I readied myself.

The door flew open and I was confronted by an enormous man, dressed only in boxers, and sporting one hell of an angry expression.

"Are you Lloyd Parker?" I asked sweetly.

"Yeah, where are my dogs and who the hell are you?"

I turned a quick look over my left shoulder. "Your dogs pissed me off and you can just call me tardy."

I waited for his eyes to focus on the dogs behind me and I pounced, stabbing him in the chest with the stun gun, and following it up with a roundhouse blow to the jaw with my baton. He hit the ground like a freefalling grand piano.

A scream sounded from within and I stepped over his comatose body to enter the house. The screeching stopped as I became visible and my eyes landed on a half naked woman with an awesome set of jubilees. A closer inspection revealed bruises on her body and face.

"Isâ€¦is he dead?" she asked.

"No. Is there anyone else here?"

She shook her head. "Who are you?"

"Do you want to stay here?"

She looked at the ground. "No."

"Then get dressed and go. Pretend you never saw me."

"Iâ€¦ I don't have a car or any money."

"Take one of Lloyd's, does he have any cash in the house?"

"There's a safe in the bedroom."

"Pack your things. He'll be coming around soon," I said, turning around and dropping to my knees to place a pair of handcuffs on the unconscious Parker.

When I stood, she was gone and I dug my smokes out of my jacket as I walked over to seat myself at a table. I didn't worry about an ashtray. I was almost done with it when he began to stir and I rose to travel back to the door, flicking my butt out into the yard.

His eyes fluttered open and he groaned, coughing fitfully for a moment and spitting out a mouthful of blood. I nudged him with a foot.

"How do you open the safe in the bedroom?"

"I think you broke my fuckin' jaw," he grunted.

"If it was broke, you wouldn't be talkin' to me."

He tried to rise, but a foot to the kidney put him back down. "If you try to get up again, I'll bust your head. How do you open the safe?"

He shook with rage. "Who the fuck are you?"

"I won't ask again. How do you open the safe?"

"Fuck you!"

"Oh, dude. Wrong answer."

The baton landed on one of his knees. He screamed and writhed around on the floor.

I waited for him to get a grip on his pain. "The other one will crack just as easy."

He growled through clenched teeth. "The key's in the coffee can above the sink."

"I'm gonna go look. If I have to run back over here because you tried to move, you'll be sorry."

I glared at him for a moment and then traveled into the kitchen to rummage through the cupboard. Decaffeinated. What a loser. I dug through the can to find the key, lifting it up to my lips to blow the grounds from it. Grinning, I puttered out to the porch and sat down cross-legged in front of him. He stared at me with spiteful eyes.

"What do you want?"

I ignored him.

"What the fuck do you want?" he yelled.

I lit up another cigarette. It didn't take long for the woman to reappear and she approached hesitantly, a bag over her shoulder and a second one clutched tightly to her chest. I waved her forward.

"Here's the key to the safe," I said, extending it over Lloyd's body. "Take whatever you want."

"Don't you do it, bitch," he growled. "I'll find you. Wherever you go, I'll find you."

She flinched and I spoke quickly. "Don't listen to him. Just take a car, the money, and go. Don't look back."

Her eyes flickered back and forth between us for a moment but the decision was quick in coming. She reached for the key and raced back into the bedroom.

"I'll kill you for this," he snarled at me.

"I don't think so."

"Who the fuck are you?"

I took a drag and waited. A few minutes later, the woman emerged from the bedroom. I almost chuckled as she hopped over Lloyd and beamed an excited smile at me. "There was a lot of cash. A whole lot."

"Bitch! Fucking bitch!" he screamed.

"Take the money and run," I said, smiling back at her.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Will he come after me?"

"No."

To my horror, she started to cry. But, to my amusement, she turned and fired off a series of kicks into Lloyd's stomach. When she was finished, she turned to me with shining cheeks. "Thank you."

I nodded and she shot me another grin before bounding down the steps and rushing off toward one of the cars. I watched her drive away and turned my attention to the lump of shit at my feet.

"I don't think she liked you very much."

"Who cares what that dead cunt thinks? I'll kill her and I'll kill you."

"Julie Booker got away, didn't she, Lloyd?"

His eyes narrowed and I pulled her picture out of my jacket, lowering it so he could see. "She's very happy now. Her new husband loves her very much and would never hurt her or raise a hand against her."

"I'll find that bitch too."

"No, you won't. Who do you think sent me, Lloyd?"

His eyes conveyed sudden understanding. God, he was dense.

"Do you watch the news?"

He gaped. "What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

"I just wanted you to know how far in over your head you are."

He stared at me confusedly.

"Do you know who Angelo Sirico is?"

A blank look.

"Julie married into the mob, Lloyd. This ain't a social call."

He chewed on that for a moment and it was painful to watch. The man was dumber than a bag of hammers and I began to wonder what he did with the diaper every time he changed his mind. It was obvious that I'd have to explain it to him in terms a child would understand.

"Do you want to live or die, Lloyd?"

"You here to kill me?"

"Now you're catching on."

"You wouldn't be talkin' to me if there wasn't another option."

My eyebrows climbed in surprise. He wasn't as stupid he pretended to be. "You're right. There's another option."

"What's that?"

I let my face grow hard. "Sheriff Toliver is gonna have you under the eye. If he overhears even the slightest rumor about you, someone will be back. They'll kill you, Lloyd. They'll kill your family, your pets, your friends, even people who owe you money. Your fuckin' days are numbered, and it's up to you as to how many you have left."

I traded hands, taking the stun gun in my right. "Think about that. Think about it carefully, because the biggest mistake you could make in your revolting little life would be to think I'm bluffing. And just to make sure you're taking me seriously, I'm gonna leave you with a taste of what's to come. Remember me, but more importantly, remember Julie and everyone else you've damaged."

I didn't give him the chance to respond and immediately placed my left foot on his neck, bearing down on him with all my weight. His eyes widened and he began to squirm furiously on the floor, kicking his legs violently in the attempt to dislodge me.

I struggled; riding a two hundred and fifty pound man wasn't something I could pull off for long. A light smack to his temple with my baton dazed him long enough for me to remain in control.

"With any luck, you'll have a limp dick for the rest of your life," I said, resituating myself to get the correct angle.

He saw the stun gun start to descend and panicked as my intentions became clear. I had to hurry, knowing that I couldn't handle him for long. I found my target and dug in mercilessly, the voltage rendering him helpless. He couldn't even scream, his body reduced to a feeble lump of shivering Jell-O.

Knowing I had a savage smile of satisfaction on my face, I fried the beans until his eyes rolled back and he finally passed out. The fucker had lasted longer than I thought; I'd have to replace the batteries. I ran a gaze over him and lowered a hand to check for a pulse. It was still there.

I relieved him of the handcuffs and placed a copy of Tish's picture on the floor next to his face. It was the first thing I wanted him to see. Mission accomplished, I trekked down the steps and began the journey back to my car.

II

A few hours in the car and I traded farm country for dairy country. I amused myself by counting all the billboards that advertised genuine Wisconsin cheese, available of course at every exit. I wasn't a big fan of cheese, certain types tended to give me the trots.

Eventually, Madison loomed before me and I was forced to think about what I might possibly expect to find. At the most, just another name that would probably send me back to square one, and at the least, just Julie's name in an old ledger. The latter would leave me at another dead end. How long did Julie wait before assuming the identity of LaTisha Moreland? And where did a country girl get the money and the contacts to produce a quality alias? Where would I look next if I left Madison empty-handed?

I had more answers now than I had started with, but I was still sucking hind tit. Somewhere, there was a clue that tied everything together, a clue that would connect Gus to a group of ex-hookers and a killer. The more I learned, the farther away the answers seemed to be.

I sighed and took my exit, cruising the two blocks my map indicated and arriving in front of my destination. I cast an inquisitive look at the aging four-story, brick building and shook my head. It was transient hotel, which meant it went through guests and employees on a daily basis. Nobody would be able to recall a woman who had stayed here seven years ago. Hell, they probably wouldn't remember you if you had died in the lobby of blistering boils the day before.

Irritably, I parked and climbed out the car to plod inside disappointedly. The interior was much cleaner than I imagined and a middle-aged woman sitting behind the desk tore her eyes away from a little TV to shoot me a friendly smile.

"Whatcha need, honey?" she asked.

"I'm Maddie, you should've gotten a call from the Blaine County Sheriff?"

"I sure did. You here to go through the old books?"

"Yeah, are you the owner?"

"That's me."

"For how long?"

"Last ten years."

I whipped out Tish's picture and showed it to her. "You wouldn't remember her would you? She stayed here seven years ago."

She fumbled for a pair of reading glasses and looked down her nose at the photograph. "Sorry, honey. I can't place her."

"That's okay. Does the name Julie Booker sound familiar?"

She shook her head.

"Do you make everybody sign the book?"

"Of course.

"Well, I guess that's what I need to look at. Would you show me your ledgers from seven years ago?"

She chuckled. "I can show you the ledgers from the last ten years, but you'll have to dig through them for the one you want."

From her tone, I assumed it wouldn't be a pleasant task. "Lead the way."

She dug around in a drawer for a ring of keys and rose to lead me through a door that led downstairs.

"I keep the old records next to the boiler room," she said as she navigated the steps. "I imagine you'll be all day. There's a phone, gimme a ring if you get hungry, I usually order out around six."

I suppressed a groan.

"I hope you like to sweat, it's hotter than Hell down here in the winter time."

I did groan. "Can you set me up with a room if I need it?"

"Sure, plenty of vacancies today."

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me, honey. You haven't seen what you're getting yourself into."

I didn't have time to ponder that statement before the meaning became excruciatingly clear. We passed through another door and my eyes widened in dismay. The books were stacked one on top of the other, ceiling high, and several stacks deep. There had to be thousands, most of them covered in an inch thick dust.

"You're kidding me?"

"Afraid not."

"Are they at least dated?"

"Oh yeah, on the first page of each one."

"God."

"Sorry, sweetie. I'm not much for record keeping."

No shit. It appeared that when she had filled a book, she just opened the door and simply threw it on top of the pile. I did the math and came to the unpleasant conclusion that if she had owned this place for ten years, and Tish had stayed here seven years ago; the book I wanted would be close to the bottom. I stripped off my jacket and rolled up my sleeves, it was going to be dirty work and I was already sweating from the heat.

"Is there a soda machine close by?"

"Tell you what, I'll just fix you a little cooler and bring it on down."

I gave her a smile. "That'd be very nice, thank you."

She chuckled and gave me a swat on the way out the door. "Good luck."

I watched her go and turned to contemplate the mountain, choosing a place to start. Oh, yeah. This was gonna suck.

--------- Six and half hours later, I sat inside the prison I had created for myself. I was completely surrounded by piles of painstakingly separated books. I was soaking wet and covered with grime. Wiping my hand across my forehead resulted in a mud streak and my clothes were almost black from handling the dusty ledgers.

I was beginning to despair. Nineteen ninety-five had been a busy year for the hotel, and for the last hour or so I'd been reading through an endless list of names that were, for the most part, illegible.

What the fuck was I doing? If Tish hadn't used her real name when signing in, how the hell would I spot an alias? If she had used her real name, I'd just spent a miserable day toiling in a basement just so I could look at her signature. I was a dope.

Angrily, I tossed the book I was looking at aside and lit up a smoke. Why wasn't I at home with Anabel? The answer was immediate and my determination instantly assembled a second wind. I was toiling in this shitty little room because Gus deserved no less, and I'd spend the rest of my life chasing leads if I had to. Justice didn't have a statute of limitations.

I took a deep breath and cast eyes at the ledger I'd discarded. It had landed open and I stared at the page it displayed as I finished my cigarette. A name scrawled down near the bottom struck a faint cord and I leaned in closer, studying it intently. I knew it from somewhere and my mind labored to identify it. I gazed at it for so long the cigarette between my fingers grew hot and it startled me out of my trance, I hurriedly flipped it away and stood to step on it, extending a hand to snatch up the ledger and hold it up to the light.

Gooseflesh started at my ankles and rapidly spread throughout my body. The answer was there but mocking me as it dangled just out my reach. Swooping in to tease me, but nimbly evading every attempt at capture. I dug in, refusing to give up. It was so close.

When it hit me, it hit me hard and my knees refused to support me. My ass hit the floor with an unnoticed thud and I wanted to scream. It was a revelation that led to another, a double-bladed sword. I suddenly had a suspect and with that knowledge, pieces of the puzzle, related and unrelated, started to fall into place with a painful clarity. Voices tormented me, delighting in the irony of discovery.

"Sirico has several of her as a child, and those are the only ones anybody has been able to find. The family photos disappeared with her and there are no yearbook photos or the like, she didn't even have a drivers license."

"Where's your car?" "I don't have a car, Maddie." "Huh?" "I grew up in the city, never learned how to drive."

"What happened to Sal's wife?" "Cancer got her a few years earlier."

"I don't know how people do this." "Do what?" "Say goodbye." "It isn't easy. I know what you're feeling." "Do you?" "I've said goodbye to both my parents."

"What's the longest relationship you've ever had?" "What was yours?" "Never really had one." "Huh?"

"I've always been busy, you know, business to run and all that."

"What do you mean and why do you think you know enough about me to say the things you just did?" "Gus was my friend. He talked about you often, long before he approached me as a possible suitor."

"I guess Gus didn't tell youâ€¦" "Tell me what?" "Uhmâ€¦ he invited me over the other night thinking you'd be there. He wasâ€¦uhâ€¦ wellâ€¦he was matchmaking."

"Maddie, is Sarah that girl I met over at Gus's?" "Yeah, she runs a shelter on the east side." "Really? The one on Foster?" "Yeah. How would you know?"

"Visited a friend there once."

"Annie, did you pick up my files?" "Hmmm?" "My files, I left them out and now they're all packed away." "Oh yeah, they were all over the counter so I put them back in the box." "Did you read them?"

"None of my business."

"And why I should I believe that?" "Because I could very easily have been sent to kill you, not talk to you." "Why not just kill me?"

"Because you have friends in the DiCarlo family, Matilda."

I clamped my hands over my ears to drown out the noise. The clues had been all around me, yet I'd taken no notice. Maybe, I just didn't want to. Fate had played me for a fool and she was one fuckin' cast-iron, vicious bitch. Oh, there was no doubt Fate was a female. No male, godly or otherwise, could be so vindictive. A male would just step in, blow the whistle, and tell everyone it was time to get out of the pool. If you disobeyed, the confrontation would be quick and easily forgotten. A female would ask nicely, and if you scorned her, she'd spend years taking her revenge. Give her a grievance and she'd save it like money, exploiting every opportunity to knife you yet never wounding mortally because she wanted you to suffer.

Thankfully, I was a big enough bitch to admit this and, as far as I was concerned, Fate could take it in the ass. I tossed the ledger back into the pile and rose to clear my way to the door. It wasn't like I'd need it in court.

When I got upstairs, I asked the lady for a room and went out to get my bag. I needed a long shower and some sleep because soon, very soon, I'd be going home.

--------- The rising sun hit me through the windshield already halfway to my destination. The night had been restless and sleep only a passing fancy. I had a suspect, but I didn't know the whole story. I wanted more to go on and many of the details still eluded me. I was required to read the fine print. A mistake would be unforgivable since the repercussions were fatal. Justice, in this case, could not afford to belatedly find itself in error. I needed to be sure.

As soon as I left the land of cheese behind, my cell phone let it be known that I had over a dozen messages. I didn't listen to them, wanting no distractions until all the cards had been played.

Monica Brentwood was part of the final solution. I just needed to ask the right questions and, this time, I would. This time, I wouldn't be fishing for a clue; I'd be seeking to validate what I already suspected. All she had to do was give me a connection. A confirmation, however circumstantial, would be the second to last piece of the puzzle.

The prison only twenty minutes away, I reached for the phone with the hope of speaking to the Warden. I wasn't disappointed and although he couldn't meet me personally, he made arrangements to accommodate me.

All too soon, I was standing in the hall outside a window, staring at the manacled woman who resided within. I turned to the guard who had accompanied me.

"Let's lose the restraints."

"The Warden didn't authorize that."

"He will if you call him."

The man grunted and considered for a moment. "Don't make me sorry I did this."

He entered the room and I flipped the switch to listen in, watching through the window as he approached her.

"I'm going to remove the chains," he said, pulling the baton from his belt. "Fuck up even a little bit, and you'll spend a week in the infirmary. Understand?"

She looked at him confusedly, nodding slowly.

No other words were spoken and I flipped the switch again when he was finished. He held the door open for me as he emerged. "Give me a knock when you're ready."

"Thank you."

When I entered this time, the look I received was wary but as close to pleasant as I could imagine her capable of.

"Maddie," she said as I took a seat.

"Hello again."

"The chains your idea?"

"Yes."

"Thanks," she said, her expression thoughtful. "Why?"

"Because everyone deserves a little dignity."

It took a moment, but she finally gave me a somewhat bewildered nod.

I took a deep breath. "Monica, I need to ask you some more questions. Some of them are personal and might be difficult to answer. Like before, no one is listening or watching. I promise that anything you say will not leave this room."

Her eyes narrowed, but she nodded again. "What do you want to know?"

--------- It was all moving rapidly now, almost out of my control. The queen had been taken, the knights had fallen, and the king was on the run. A few more moves and it would all be over.

I'd given no thought to what my life would be like afterward. Things would be different, of that I was sure. However, now was not the time to brood or feel sorry myself. There would be time for that later, and I had no desire to dwell on how lonely and unforgiving that time might prove to be.

An hour before dusk, I went through the routine to gain entry into the Frank's establishment. As I walked across the dance floor, I wasn't surprised to find them at their customary table surrounded by the usual assortment of sluts. They nodded in greeting as I took up a chair.

"We need to talk. Privately."

They both studied me for a moment and Bobby waved the chicks away. He waited until they were well out of earshot.

"What's up, Maddie?"

"The boogeyman. I need to speak to him."

Robby's eyebrows rose and Bobby took a deep breath. "Ask us for something else."

"I don't need anything else."

"No way, Maddie. That's playing with our lives."

"It's safer than you probably think."

"There ain't nothin' safe about that dude."

"I've met him. He's your contact so you have a number. That's all I'm asking for."

"If you've met him, then you should know better than to want to see him again," Robby said.

"He's not allowed to hurt me and I won't reveal anything."

They both blinked. "What do you mean he's not allowed?" Bobby asked.

"His boss wouldn't be pleased."

They absorbed this in a thoughtful silence. "If you have connections like that, you don't need us," Bobby said.

"It's complicated. Help me out here. It won't be forgotten."

A full two minutes passed as Robby scratched his chin in agitation and Bobby drummed his fingers on the table. I reached for my cigarettes, smoking half of one before Bobby spoke.

"If it gets back to us, we'll be dead by the end of the week."

"Trust me."

"You better be fuckin' sure, Maddie."

"I am."

They shared a look with one another and Bobby reluctantly rose to his feet, throwing me an uncertain glance as he departed. He returned as I crushed out my smoke and placed a scrap of paper on the table in front of me. His hand lingered over the top of it.

"Giving you this number could be the biggest, and the last mistake I'll ever make."

I rose to my feet. "It won't be."

--------- I dialed the number as soon as I got back to my car. Two rings and I had an answer.

"Yes?"

"It's Maddie. We need to have another conversation."

A moment of silence.

"Would you like to tell me how you got this number, Matilda?"

"That's not going to happen."

"Another conversation could be perilous."

"I'd like one anyway, and there's no need to inform your boss. In fact, I'd be in your debt if you didn't."

"Interesting," he said slowly. "Do you have you any idea what a dangerous game you're playing?"

"Yeah, I do."

"It seems you're no longer in the dark."

"Possibly."

"Very well. There's a bench on the corner of 31st and State. Be sitting on it in two hours."

"You'll keep this between us?"

"For the time being. Goodbye, Matilda."

The phone found the inside of my jacket and I started the car.

--------- I looked at my watch for the umpteenth time; two hours had come and gone. It was fuckin' freezing and my patience was fast expiring. If he didn't show soon, I'd be forced to seek some warmth. I released a frustrated breath and watched as it practically crystallized in the air around my face. Suddenly entertained, I started breathing in and out rapidly, watching with interest the little clouds my labor produced.

"Good evening, Matilda," a voice purred from behind me.

I stifled a startled yelp. "You're late."

"Of course."

I was more than a little surprised when he moved into view and seated himself next to me. He was a devilishly handsome man that was gaining on his late forties. Long hair in a ponytail and an immaculate goatee only added to his appeal. However, his eyes told a story of barely suppressed violence and I could understand perfectly how easily intimidating his presence could be.

"No longer concerned about revealing yourself?"

"Not especially. Either way, it no longer matters."

"I'm not sure I follow."

"It'll work out or I'll have to kill you. It's still too soon to say for certain."

A chill ran up my spine and I struggled to ignore it. "If it's the latter, I'd appreciate it if you left a beautiful corpse."

He grinned. "Consider it done. So tell me, what would you like to talk about?"

"I just need to know one thing."

"And you think I'm the person to provide you with an education?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I want to know where Sabrina went the night Salvotore died."

"Hmmm."

"Will you tell me?"

"It's unwise to ask questions about Sabrina. I thought I made that clear the first time we spoke."

"We both know why I want the answer."

"True."

"Well?"

"I hope you're not digging yourself a grave, Matilda."

"Tell me."

III

I spent the night in my car and in the morning, made Joey's parlor my first stop. When I walked in, Jimmy was the only one visible and he shot me a friendly wave from across the room. I didn't return it, and just stared at him through my sunglasses. He looked at me for a moment and then rose to slip into the back without a word. I waited less than a minute for Joey to appear. He opened the door and studied me with narrowed eyes.

"Get on back here."

I obeyed and he spoke as soon as we had some privacy. "Whatcha need?"

I tried a grin, but he saw through it.

"Let's hear it, Maddie. When you stop talking, I know you're super pissed."

I sighed. "I need to see the old man."

He grunted. "Wanna tell me why?"

"I'd rather just say it once."

A hand came up and he scratched the hair behind an ear in agitation. He didn't like being in the dark anymore than I did. "Alright, Maddie," he grumbled, walking over to seat himself in front of a phone.

I didn't bother to listen; I knew what the answer would be. He stood after he hung up and walked toward the door. "Let's go."

He didn't speak to me once in the half hour it took to get there. I guess he might have been a little upset that I wouldn't confide in him. That, and he knew me well enough to know that I wouldn't talk about it until I was ready.

Angelo Sirico lived in a house that resembled a castle. It wasn't as pretentious as you'd expect, but it wasn't hard to spot big money. The last time I visited Sirico's home had been when I returned from the war. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Sirico's shadow greeted us at the door and led us inside.

"Maddie, what a pleasure," Angelo boomed as he came down the stairs to meet us. In his mid sixties and powerfully energetic, Sirico was a handsome little man with eyes that could be both charming and menacing.

"Hi, Angie."

He smiled. "You know you're the only one I let get away with calling me that?"

"You still think it's cute."

"You're right, of course," he chuckled, taking my hand. "Come on, let's go jabber. Can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you."

"Joe?"

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Hmmm, something's up," he whispered in my ear as he led us into the study. "Joe never refuses a drink."

Joey took a seat next to the door and I slipped into a chair in front of his desk, waiting patiently for him to get settled. His shadow remained standing next to the window. Finally, he seated himself and gave me a serious look.

"I'm very sorry about Gus, Maddie. I miss him often. I don't know if you're aware of it, but he and I argued many times in the past."

"I didn't know that."

"Oh yes, but he always held his ground and wouldn't let me corrupt him," he said fondly. "I respected him greatly for that, although I never told him. I like to think he knew anyway."

"I'm sure he did."

"I'm sorry I couldn't convey my personal condolences to you earlier. The funeral wasn't the right time and afterward, Joe informed me that you wouldn't be available."

"Itâ€¦it was a bad day."

"Of course," he said with an understanding nod. "Now, what is it that brings you here so early in the morning?"

I cleared my throat. "I'd like to talk to you about Sabrina DiCarlo."

He leaned forward in his chair. "Indeed?"

"Yes."

"I'm listening."

"I'm going to put an end to your vendetta."

He narrowed his eyes. "That is not your responsibility."

"I'm making it my responsibility."

"I won't allow it. Tell me what you know."

"You'll allow it or I'll kill you right now," I said, going for my gun and extending it toward him over the desk.

He reared back as if he'd been slapped and Joey bolted to his feet. "Maddie, what the fuck are you doing?" he yelled, but with the same breath, he turned and addressed Sirico's bodyguard. "Chris, you keep your hands where I can see them. If you move on her, I'll tear your goddamn head off."

"Do you want to talk about it, Angie? Or should I pull the trigger?"

He stared at me, all traces of kindness gone from his eyes. "I'd ask you if you had any idea what the consequences are for your actions here today, but you know exactly what you're doing, don't you?"

"Yep."

He settled back into his chair. "Obviously, I'd be a fool not to hear what you have to say."

"You're not a fool, Angie."

He chuckled. "Chris, please wait outside."

The shadow spoke for the first time. "Are youâ€¦?"

"Wait outside."

He reluctantly made his way out of the room and Joey slowly sat back down. I holstered my weapon.

"Alright, Maddie. What's the story?"

--------- I endured a painful, irate lecture in the car, and then suffered though a full-blown tirade as soon as Joey and I returned to his shop. Eventually, he worked himself out of his lather and sat down with a sigh, looking at me expectantly and wanting an explanation. He got one and I told him everything, giving him the details I'd carefully omitted with Sirico. His reaction wasn't disappointing. We spoke for over an hour before I took my leave. I had things to do.

I made three calls, one to Woody, and one to Sidney Binkowski. The last required a payphone and I didn't have to speak; I just needed confirmation. I hung up as soon as I had it.

I visited the post office to return Lance's pistol and to drop him a note before heading to a flower shop for roses and finally, I bought a Valentine for Julie Booker that I stamped and tossed in a mailbox.

My preparations complete, I drove across town and parked three blocks away from the house. It started to rain as I walked up the sidewalk and I flipped my cigarette into the gutter. The front door was locked, but a window in the backyard was easy to break. I stomped my feet and shook the rain from my jacket after I clamored inside.

I had a few hours before company arrived so I headed for the living room and made myself busy. The gun was surprisingly easy to find. It sat within an antique box decorating a display shelf of assorted knickknacks. A wave of anger washed over me as I stared at the revolver that had killed Gus. I picked it up, ejecting the rounds into my hand.

I studied the bullets with a quiet rage as I noted the grooves carefully filed into the nose of each one. I put the gun back where I found it and closed the lid. The ammunition I arranged in front of the box, positioning them on the shelf like toy soldiers standing in formation. I wanted them to be noticed.

The tapes took longer to find, but I knew I'd locate them. The entertainment center held a vast collection of videos, and they were hidden inside the covers of 'Home Alone' and 'Home Alone 2'. They were difficult and heartrending to watch, but I ignored my tears and forced myself to sit through both of them. They found a home on the coffee table when I was finished.

With nothing left to do, I settled into an armchair and waited. I didn't smoke, and I didn't move, I just waited. I waited for the killer. It wouldn't be long now. I sat there for two hours but the time went by in a seamless blur, it only felt like minutes before I heard the sound of a key unlocking the front door. Footsteps approached and she dumped her purse on the sofa absentmindedly while she browsed through her mail. It was time to be noticed.

"Good evening."

She jumped at the sound of my voice, gasping when her eyes found me seated in her living room. The color drained from her face, but she smiled. It was hard to see it as anything but genuine.

"Maddie!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Save it, I know everything."

Her eyes widened and her face paled to a deathly white. I could see her mind racing. She shot a glance at the shelf where her gun lay hidden and cringed at finding my little display. There wasn't an easy out and she knew it, I was curious to see what she would come up with.

"Sarah, do you know Sabrina DiCarlo?"

She shook her head.

"Sabrina is the head of one the most powerful crime families in the country. Seven years ago, she visited your halfway house. You see, she had just lost her father and was the target of a vendetta. She couldn't disappear right away and she needed a few days, what better place to hide than a homeless shelter? She had power and she had wealth, it was the last place anyone would look for a mafia princess."

"Timing and coincidence is the bitch of it all because around that same time, LaTisha Moreland also came to you for help. But she didn't get it, did she?"

She could only gawk, the wheels turning furiously behind her eyes.

"Gus was Sabrina's friend and he just wanted to know if you knew about her, but that's not what you thought. You thought he was digging around after Tish, and when he invited you to his house, you must've panicked when you found Tish as one of the guests. After removing Gus, you decided to eliminate the only other people that could finger you."

She was getting grip on her fear; I could see it in her eyes.

"How many women besides Tish, Clarice, and Monica came to you for help, only to be forced into prostitution, Sarah? You don't need nor want the money they earned on their backs. You just wanted power over them. You wanted to use them and keep them broken. You enjoyed their indignity. You get off on it, don't you?"

I gestured to the tapes on the coffee table. "I've seen your movies. You're a twisted cunt, Sarah. Were you planning on using me the same way?"

Her mouth opened and closed several times as she struggled for words, they finally came out in hiss. "How?"

"Tish's real name was Julie Booker, but you knew that. She grew up with an incestuous father, married a brutal prick that wasn't much better, and ended up running away from all of it. She came to you for a helping hand and got nothing but a few more years of abuse."

"How?" she demanded.

"When she left her husband, she stayed overnight in Wisconsin. She checked into a room under the name of Marissa Fiore. The name of the stray you gave me when I visited you for the first time. You probably thought it was safe to mention, but how could you know that in the basement of a hotel in Madison, there's a ledger with that name in it. If I hadn't found it, I might never have identified you. Tish was on the run, she was hiding her tracks, but you knew that and used it to your advantage."

"I have an excellent lawyer, Maddie."

I chuckled. "You're a killer, Sarah."

"So?" she yelled. "How many have you killed, Maddie? You probably slaughtered dozens in the war. How many bodies did you fly over?"

I rose to my feet. "You're right, but what makes a soldier sad, makes a killer smile. I didn't gut shoot anyone and watch as they died painfully with me laughing at them. I did my duty and I didn't enjoy it."

I let her chew on that as my hand found the small of my back.

"I spent the first seven years of my life in a French orphanage and the next five in a boarding school. My father was a merchant seaman, a drunk, and a drug addict. I was lucky if he visited me once a year. When he died, I don't think I even managed a frown."

Moisture stung my eyes. "Gus came for me soon after. He loved me, Sarah. He gave me everything, a home, a family, and a father. He was my Dad, and you took him away from me."

My hand reappeared holding the little gun and I pointed it at her belly, advancing on her slowly. There was terror in her eyes now, the terror of suddenly knowing that the only jury she was going to see was standing in front of her. There would be no appeal, no pardon, and no escape.

"He was my hero, you sick bitch."

I lashed out with all of my strength, using the butt of the gun to strike her in the mouth. She fell to the floor with a cry of pain, holding both hands over her injury. Tears began to stream from her eyes, but she cast a look at me that was nothing if not vicious.

"You gonna shoot me now, Maddie?" she asked, talking around a mouthful of blood. "Will you be sad when it's done, or will you smile? Which one will you be, the soldier or the killer?"

"Both," I said, turning my back on her and striding for the door. I undid the locks and opened it a crack before I returned to stand over her.

"I dreamed about killing you, Sarah. I fantasized about it. I wanted nothing more than to watch as you took your last breath. I wanted to revel in it, savor it. But you know what?"

She responded by waving a hand in the air; the other was busy wiping blood from her face.

"If I pulled the trigger on you, I wouldn't be the person that I want to be. Nor would I be the person others want me to be."

Surprisingly, she laughed. "You're nothing but bullshit, Maddie."

I arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"All your pretty words, and you don't have the guts to follow through. You had me scared for a second there, but I should've known better. You're not sure about anything, even yourself."

I chuckled. "Until recently, I might have agreed with you."

As if on cue, the door opened and Jimmy let himself in. He gave me a nod as he approached, and my eyes dropped to see Sarah look at him in confusion.

"I'd introduce you, but it would be pretty pointless."

"Iâ€¦ I don't understand."

I worked up a smile. "Justice doesn't need me to be the executioner, Sarah. I can live with being the emissary," I said, turning to Jimmy when I was finished. "Did Joey explain everything?"

He opened his jacket and withdrew a heavy revolver. "It'll be done right."

Her mouth moved to form words, but none were forthcoming. I gave her my full attention.

"Gus stood up after you shot him. He got up and walked around his desk to get at you. Could you be half as strong or as brave? Tish died on the bathroom floor, a miserable end to a life that had only really just begun. Could you be half as courageous and resilient as she must've been?"

She started to cry; the tears weak as the knowledge of what was to come washed over her.

"You could talk to them about it, if only you were going to the same place," I said, holstering my gun and turning for the door. Leaving her alone with Jimmy and a .357 loaded with a single carved round.

The cold air was a relief and I took a deep breath before heading back to my car. I took my time, driving around aimlessly until it was dark. It was still drizzling when I arrived at my spot on the lakefront, I got out of the car and walked into the long abandoned boathouse and sat down with my legs dangling over the water. This was my secret place. A place I visited when I wasn't sure about things or when I needed to cry and didn't want the comfort of others. I reached for my cell phone.

"Winters."

"Hi, Billy."

"It's about fuckin' time! Where the hell are you?"

"I'm in town."

"So what did you learn?"

"Consider this an anonymous call, Billy."

A little pause. "Alright, Maddie."

"At the residence of Sarah Caruso you'll find the murder weapon, the missing tapes, and a cadaver."

He didn't immediately reply and I closed my eyes. When he did speak, the tears began.

"Are you okay?"

"I will be."

"You ready to tell me about it?"

"Come to Joey's tomorrow night for dinner. I'll fill you in then."

"Okay. I'll have to take your gun, people will ask."

"It's clean."

"Do you need anything?"

"Nothing that can't wait until tomorrow."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. I'll see you at Joey's."

"I'll be there, you take care."

"Bye, Billy."

I put the phone back in my jacket and buried my head in my hands. I cried for Gus, I cried for Tish, and I cried for me. Life had changed and I hadn't been ready for it.

Epilogue

The morning came without sleep and I reluctantly got to my feet, knowing that I had a few more things to look after. I made a phone call and traveled to the cemetery where Tish had been buried. I followed Sidney's instructions to her grave and placed a single rose on the tombstone, mumbled an apology and, feeling as if I were intruding, hurried back to the car.

My final destination was another cemetery, and I arranged the rest of my flowers for Gus. When I was finished, I spread a blanket on the grass and sat down cross-legged. I took a deep breath and smiled.

"Hi, Daddy," I said brightly. "I've gotta lot of stuff to talk about. A lot of things have happened since we last spoke..."

I was still babbling an hour later when the sound of a car door being closed caught my attention. I looked up to see Anabel get out of a taxi and start walking toward me. I watched her approach. She'd be a little while.

"â€¦Anyway, Glen Porter offered me my old job back, but I'm not going to take it. I've learned that I'm a little too dirty to be a cop and a little too clean to be a good gangster. I guess I'll have to find something in the middle. Can you picture me working at a video store?"

I chuckled at the image that produced.

"I wish you had told me, Gus. It would've saved a lot of time. I had to figure it out the hard way..."

Footsteps became audible and I lowered my voice to a whisper. "â€¦She's almost here now so I guess I'm gonna have to cut this a little short, but you'll be happy to know that I'm gonna take your advice and finally follow my heart. I miss you. Got to go, here she is."

"Maddie," she said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm gettin' there. Sorry I was gone so long."

"You look all worn out," she said, taking a seat next to me on the blanket and leaning over for a kiss.

"Did you miss me?"

"Of course. Is your job over?"

"Yes, it is."

She contemplated my answer in silence.

"I've got something for you."

Her eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yep," I said, reaching into my jacket to produce a piece of paper.

She looked at it confusedly. "An address?"

"Yes."

"I don't get it. What would I find here?"

"Angelo Sirico. You have a meeting with him tomorrow at noon."

She stared at me with an unreadable expression.

"Joey will stand with you. You can bring as many of your people as you like. It's over. Angie is willing to discuss a truce and surprisingly, a possible merger."

She chewed on her lip uncertainly. "Will you be there?"

"Yes, Sabrina."

She brought a hand up to her mouth and stifled a quick sob. "How long have you known?"

"Not very long."

"You mad at me for not telling you?"

"No, but you can tell me some things now."

She nodded, wiping at her eyes.

"Gus knew all along, didn't he?"

"Yes."

"Did he have that dinner party because you wanted to know if you'd be recognized?"

"They were all people who had seen me, might have seen me, or had claimed to have seen me."

"Did you send your boogeyman after me because you read the files I have lying around in my house?"

"You needed to know I had nothing to do with it. He would never have hurt you."

"You could've rid yourself of Sirico years ago. Why didn't you?"

"That's not the way I do things."

"That's what I'd hoped you say."

"I'm sorry, Maddie."

"When would you have told me?"

"I was going to wait until you found who you were looking for."

"I see."

She studied the ground in front of her uncomfortably. "I didn't lie to you, Maddie. I meant what I said."

"Did you?"

Her eyes rose to meet mine. "Yes, I did. Very much."

I grunted and took her hand. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Name it."

"I'm having dinner over at Joey's tonight. I'd like you to be there."

"Okay. Is that the favor?"

"Not quite," I said, clearing my throat. "I'd like you to come not as my lover, but as my girlfriendâ€¦ as my partner."

She beamed, preparing to speak, but I held up a hand to stop her.

"Shut up, this is my moment," I said, giving her a stern look. "I spoke to Woody. Gus left me the house and if you think you could live in an old neighborhood with an ex-pilot, ex-cop, and ex-private detective, I'd like very much for it to be our house."

She started to bounce excitedly.

I smiled. "I love you too, Sabrina."

I found myself on my back, giggling as she plastered kisses all over my face. I returned them happily, waiting until she subsided before speaking again.

"Will you do me another favor?"

"Anything you want, Maddie," she purred into my neck.

"Lose the contacts, you don't need them anymore and I want to see your eyes."

She sat up straddling me and removed her glasses. Laboring gently, she quickly produced a pair of very pale blue eyes. Joey had been right; they could appear almost white.

"What do you think?" she asked a little nervously.

"I think you're gorgeous."

She fell on top of me and snuggled up close. I sighed contentedly, wrapping my arms around her.

"Brina?"

"Hmmm?"

"Tell me about my mother."

END