RESIST

Josephine Lamont

Charter House Press

OTHER BOOKS IN THE DISSENTER SAGA UNIVERSE

BY JOSEPHINE LAMONT

Revile: A Dissenter Saga Novel*

Dissent

Resist

Rise

*Prequel novel written in The Dissenter Saga universe. It can be read separately as a standalone or enjoyed as part of the larger series. It does not need to be read in order to enjoy the other novels in The Dissenter Saga world.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Copyright © 2024 by Josephine Lamont. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce, distribute, or transmit in any form or by any means. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permission requests, contact Josephine Lamont at jlamontbooks.com.

Edited by Tayler Bailey McLendon

Cover design by 100Covers

ISBN 979-8-218-44450-1 (Trade Paperback)

ISBN 979-8-331-44312-2 (B&N)

ISBN 979-8-3302-1141-8 (Hardback)

First edition September 2024

For my daughter.

Author Warning: Resist is a military-style fantasy book set in a brutal dystopian future. This book depicts issues of war, murder, death, intense violence (including gun violence), emotional and physical abuse, blood, burning, executions, graphic language, mental health issues (including anxiety, PTSD, and panic attacks), grief, loss of family, and incarceration. It is my hope that these elements have been handled sensitively, but if these issues could be considered triggering to you, please take note. Now, prepare to resist…

Contents

1: Mission Overload

2: Mission Failure

3: Mission Terminated

4: Mission Complete

5: Free Fall

6: Hellhounds

7: Duck

8: The Rebels

9: Weirder

10: Lost

11: Bait and Switch

12: Schemes

13: Promised

14: Runaway Bride

15: FML

16: Castle Calvernon

17: Pedigree

18: The Skank Drawer

19: All My Demons

20: Burden

21: Wealth. Power. Survival. Revenge.

22: Optics

23: Stupid Grape

24: No Ticket, No Laundry

25: That’s What She Said

26: Exes Ruin Everything

27: Rock and a Hard Place

28: Just Hormones

29: Mic Drop

30: Power Plays

31: Two Can Play that Game

32: Never Again

33: Mission Parameters

34: Hell Games

35: Dining with Mr. Hyde

36: Stay

37: Climb

38: Cat Fight

39: Girl Problems

40: Say Yes to the Dress

41: Disfigured Disgrace

42: Those Hazel Eyes

43: One More Chance

44: Always

45: Not Anymore

46: Hungry

47: The First Daughter of Telvia

48: Nightmare

49: Just Getting Started

50: Point (Heart) Break

51: For Wes

52: Shattered

53: Goodbye

54: Go Time

55: Clink and Snap!

56: F28

57: Perhaps

58: Modified

59: Yellow, Yellow, Red

60: Stasis

61: Only One

62: Red Light, Green Light

63: Please

64: Over the Edge

65: Three, Two, One…

66: Wrong

67: Flashback

68: Detained

69: Royally Screwed

70: NIT-V2

71: Knock, Knock…Who’s There?

72: Finish It

73: Honey-Baked Hams

74: Incognito

75: Right in the Heart

76: Ready or Not

77: Eyes on Me

78: A Memory

79: Everything

80: The Red Button

81: The Bomb

82: Two Seconds

83: Not What it Seems

Acknowledgements

About the Author

1: Mission Overload

It was hot. I felt a bead of sweat rolling down the side of my temple, down the curvature of my cheek, before I wiped it away with the back of my hand. I exhaled slowly through my lips, keeping my back firmly pressed against the wall. Time was ticking.

“Psst!”

I turned my head and saw Wes, clothed in the same gear I was—a black, skintight jumpsuit that covered every inch of my body from my collarbone to my ankles. And just like the first time I wore it, I felt more naked than ever. We both had black tactical vests, loaded with stunner charges, a flashlight, climbing gear, emergency medical supplies, and the latest edition to our mission gear—one black capsule filled with a rapid acting poison. If they caught you, all you had to do was pop that sucker in your mouth, crack open the capsule, and the poison would take care of the rest. It was never a part of mission protocol before, but ever since Chelsea…well, Dissenter leadership had a change of heart.

I tilted my head at Wes, letting him know he had my attention. We were crouched next to one another as our backs rested against the wall of a Telvian alley. It was dark, but even in the middle of the night, the summer heat had us baking despite the supposedly “breathable” nature of our skinsuits. Wes leaned in towards me, and the familiar smell of his natural scent—eucalyptus and spring rain—caused a chill to run down my spine.

“You okay?” His voice was a whisper, but I could still hear the gruffness—his tell. Wes was hiding something. The rougher, tougher, and meaner he was, the more vulnerable, scared, and secretive he was being.

I nodded my head and then faced away from him, refusing to look him in the eye. I couldn’t…not right now. Right now, I had to stay focused. I couldn’t afford to screw this up. And looking into Wes’s eyes would definitely screw things up.

Bzzzz…

I glanced down at my mini-tab just as Wes did. Lifting my left wrist, I tapped the screen and read the message.

Edith: Cameras down. Patrol passing in 5. Be ready to hightail it in.

I rested my head against the wall, eyes closed as I took a deep breath, readying myself for the run. I reached to my hip and pulled out my stunner—which looked a lot like the 9mm pistol I also carried—but it was a non-lethal weapon. The rebellion didn’t believe in lethal weapons unless absolutely necessary. Wes reached for his stunner too, flipping a switch, causing the weapon to power up, ready to take out a target if needed.

“Ready?”

This time, out of habit, I glanced at him, and our eyes locked. His hazel eyes captivated me, and every time I felt like a prisoner when I stared into them. They were hauntingly beautiful. Whenever he was amped up, they shimmered like molten gold with flecks of green and brown. My breath hitched as everything froze within me.

“Mara?”

I blinked, averting my gaze to the ground, reminding myself to breathe. “Yeah, I’m ready.” He was silent for a second, and I didn’t dare look at him again. I had to get my head in the game. This mission was too important for me to screw it up.

I heard the crunch of boots, drawing my attention back to the street. I crouched lower, drawing as much of myself as I could into the shadows of the alley. The sound got louder, closer. I inhaled deeply and held my breath as my heart pounded aggressively in my chest. Across the street from us were two skyrise buildings with another alley between them. A wall blocked off the space, keeping Telvian citizens out.

My eyes shifted, catching sight of two Telvian guards plated in white and black armor. They held their assault rifles in both hands as they marched down the street. It was a night patrol making sure no one was out past curfew. They were oblivious to us hiding in the shadows, and it wasn’t long before they rounded a corner, disappearing from sight.

“Let’s do this…three, two, one,” Wes whispered. Pushing off the wall, he came up beside me, poking his head around the corner. He glanced up and down the street before lunging out into the open, motioning for me to follow him. Staying crouched, I slipped out onto the road, focusing on Wes in front of me. He was like a graceful mountain lion, quiet and deadly. I had had my fair share of encounters with the beasts to know, and last time I checked, Wes won that fight. So, yeah.

Running to the other side of the street, Wes stopped in front of a brick wall. Without a second of hesitation, he dipped low, interlocking his hands while holding them out. I knew exactly what to do. I sped up, and as I came up to him, I leaped, my right foot landing on his interlocked fingers. I felt the weight of my body push down on his hands, and before I knew it, he launched me up toward the sky. I reached up, my hands grabbing the top edge of the wall, and then I hung there for a moment. The weight of my body stretched my muscles, creating a delicious burn I had grown used to over the past few months.

Breathe in, breathe out…go.

I pulled, feeling the strain in my arms as I hauled myself up. My legs fought for purchase until I felt the rubber grip of my boots catch on the rough, textured wall. Then I was climbing, hoisting my upper body up and over the wall, and dropping down on the other side. I landed silently, glancing around to make sure I was safe. I was…for the moment.

Quickly, I unattached my length of rope. Holding one side, I threw the other end over the wall and quickly tied the rope to the loops and carabiner I had attached to my tactical belt, preparing for the tug. A moment passed as my heart thundered, the adrenaline and exertion giving me one hell of a cardio workout. The rope in my hand wiggled, and my fingers clasped down around it, tightening my grip. Then there was a gentle pull, so gentle I almost missed it if it weren’t for my heightened senses. Another pull, firmer, harder this time.

Come on, Wes, you’re taking too long. As if on cue, the rope went taught, and I leaned back in response, using the weight of my body as an anchor. There we go.

The rope pulled on me, but I squared my feet and leaned back further. In a few moments, I saw Wes’s long blond hair, pulled back tight in a low, neat man bun, as he popped up on the top of the wall before hoisting himself over the edge. Grabbing the length of rope, he tossed it back down to me. I sprang into action, detaching it from my belt and coiling it up as Wes jumped from the wall, landing on his feet with a muted thud.

Lifting his wrist, he swiped the screen of his mini-tab—the sleek, black smartwatch that replaced phones and most personal devices years ago. It was the most advanced Telvian technology to come out during Raúl’s reign of power, and everyone had one, even the Dissenters.

“We’ve got to move it. Our window is closing.” His voice was low, deep, and on edge. I quickly finished coiling the rope and slipped it back into my bag. Looking up at him, our eyes met for a fraction of a second before my heart squeezed in my chest. God, he looked so much like Chase. It made sense, of course. They were identical twins. And Chase and I…we had history.

But Chase wasn’t around anymore. He was dead.

Wes kicked into high gear, crouching low and zipping past me as he motioned me to follow. Taking my stunner back into my hands, I followed him through the darkened alley, the two skyrises reaching the stars above.

He halted, looking to the left and then to the right. “Which one is it?”

“How should I know?” I rolled my eyes. Wes lifted his wrist again, typed into his tab, and then waited, brows pinched forward. After what felt like a century, though it was only a minute, both of our tabs buzzed. I already knew it was Edith responding. I didn’t even bother glancing at my device. “Left. Twentieth floor.”

Of course it was. Because who didn’t want to climb twenty effing floors in the middle of the freaking night? God, I hated this. I was in much better shape than when I first joined the Dissenters months ago, but that didn’t mean climbing twenty stories was on my list of crap I enjoyed doing on a weeknight. But I had too…for Jacob.

I looked at the massive Telvian Administration Building and took a deep breath as I did. I knew the plan, but I didn’t like it. We had someone who worked undercover in one of the Admin Buildings. They informed us of an emergency exit door located in the alleyway. But the door had an alarm that would go off if opened from the outside, which would effectively get us caught. The agent believed he could temporarily disarm the alarm, unlocking the door and allowing us to open it from the outside without all hell breaking loose. But the timing had to be perfect.

“Mara!” Wes whisper-yelled at me, snapping my attention back to the present. “Let’s go! We’re almost out of time.” He didn’t give me a chance to respond before he was racing down the alley, searching the building for the door. I trotted to catch up with him. It didn’t take long for us to find it—a big metal door with a single handle—though there was nothing to show it was the emergency exit.

“Are you sure that’s the right one?”

“I don’t see anything else. Do you?” It wasn’t a legit question. He was anxious, and when Wes was anxious, he became a total ass. I breathed deeply through my nose, trying my best to ignore his crappy attitude. Because I was anxious too, and my attitude was rarely any better when I was nervous…especially around Wes.

He wrapped his right hand around the handle as he lifted his left wrist to look at his tab. “Three, two, one.”

Click!

We heard metal sliding and clicking into place. Wes quickly tugged on the door, opening it with ease. We paused for a fraction of a second, listening for any sort of commotion, but the night was quiet. Pulling the door open further, Wes looked back at me.

“Ready?”

I glanced into the space beyond the door. This was it…no turning back. Squaring my jaw, I returned my gaze to Wes. “Let’s do this.”

2: Mission Failure

The building was cooler, thank goodness, because the heat coupled with the exertion of racing up twenty flights of stairs was a lot to get through and not die. I felt as the sweat damped my brow and moistened the valley between my breasts. Wes wasn’t any better off. The hair gathered behind his ear was wet, and his forehead glistened with moisture as he climbed. Maybe a past version of me wouldn’t have thought anything of it. But tonight, right now, my mind wandered into the gutter. Thoughts of beaded moisture dripping down his bare chest. Thoughts of hands sliding over skin, gliding over valleys of muscle. Thoughts of lips…tastes of salt. And then I was shaking my head.

Get a grip, Mara. Jesus! Edith would be so proud if she knew what I was thinking. She was a bad influence. This was her fault. Nothing but her rubbing off on me. Focus. Stay focused.

We were racing against the clock. We only had an hour to get ourselves up the building, download the files we needed, and then get the hell out before the cameras came back on. Any longer and someone, somewhere, was going to figure out that all the cameras were on a recorded looped feed, repeatedly showing the same imagery so that we could run through the streets of Telvia and the Admin Building without being caught. It was still a tremendous risk we were taking, but one I had to take if I was going to save my brother.

“Psst!” Wes stopped on the landing just above me, a big red sign with a white number twenty on the door. We had finally made it. I slowed my steps as I came to stand next to him when my wrist buzzed. I looked at my tab and saw another message from Edith.

Edith: Guards coming down the hall. Hang tight.

I looked up from my mini-tab and glanced at Wes, who had his gaze on me. Instantly, I felt a flash of heat pump through me. As if I could be any hotter than I already was. Fabulous. I looked away, but I could still feel his eyes on me.

Things had been…weird between us. Ever since the attack of the rebel base, something had shifted in me…in him. Truthfully, something had shifted in all of us, and it was seriously screwing with my head.

The silence stretched between us, and my stomach felt like a pit, butterflies falling and turning inside me. He made me nervous, but he had always made me nervous. At first, I was nervous of him because he scared me. My first interaction with him was at a river, a hunting knife in his hand, and me wrapped in nothing but a towel, completely at his mercy. Then, I was nervous because he looked so much like his brother, who I was totally obsessed with and desperately wanted to kiss but couldn’t.

Once I learned Wes was Chase’s identical twin, my brain no longer wanted anything to do with him—especially because he was a total ass, like, all the time—but my body wanted something completely different. My body craved wandering hands, delicious lips, and bated breaths. And that was information I kept to myself. No one needed to know about that, especially not Wes.

“Here we go.” His words jarred me back into the brightly lit space.

Jeez! What the hell was my problem? I had to stay focused. I seriously couldn’t afford to eff this up. It had taken some serious convincing on my part to get Sasha to even think about me doing this mission. And when I finally convinced her, there was a catch—I had to find a team willing to do it with me because I wasn’t going to be allowed to do it alone. I think she thought no one was going to volunteer, and truthfully, neither did I. When the mission came up in our last Council meeting, everyone seemed to avoid my gaze and slip into the shadows.

Everyone…except for one.

My jaw had dropped, and I just about threw a chair at Wes when he stepped up and volunteered. I was convinced that it was some sort of sick joke on his part to make me look like an idiot in front of everybody. But I was wrong. And once he stepped up, Edith stepped forward too. And that was it…just the three of us taking on the Telvian Administration Building. I don’t think I’d ever seen Sasha more upset than I did at that meeting. But what was she going to do? She gambled on no one helping me, and she lost.

“When we exit, we make a sharp right down the hall. There’s a receiver in the ceiling for the air conditioning. You’re going to help me up and then I’ll pull you up with me, got it?”

I licked my lips as I nodded.

His eyes caught mine again, making those stupid butterflies dive, but then he turned away, placing both hands on the door handle. Closing his eyes, Wes breathed out slowly before holding his breath and opening the door.

The hall was dark, lit only by the glow of dim blue lighting on each wall near the floor. The lighting was enough to guide us without our flashlights, though, and a sharp contrast to the white industrial lights in the emergency stairwell we were in. With a quick glance up and down the hall, Wes slipped out the door, holding it open for me as he waved me through. I stepped through quickly and went right, leading the way.

A glance over my shoulder showed Wes closing the door behind me, cautious to keep it from slamming shut. I turned my attention forward, back to the hallway before me. Knowing we had little time left to complete this mission, I took quick steps as I scanned the ceiling for the receiver. My eyes caught the large, square grate, causing my steps to quicken.

Positioning myself under the grate, I lunged forward, extending my right leg. I turned back and caught Wes jogging the final yards toward me, staring up at his target. He remained silent the whole time, stepping onto my thigh, giving him a boost as he reached for the grate and popped it out of place. Using his fingertips, he slid it over, revealing a black hole, and before I knew it, the weight of his body was relieved as he pulled himself up into the abyss, biceps bulging as they strained.

It was…well, hot. Like, really hot.

I stood up straight as I watched the rest of him disappear into the hole, and then his head popped back over the opening. He rested on his knees, bending forward as he extended out his left arm. I reached for him, my hand gripping his forearm as his fingers wrapped around mine. Then he began pulling, his other hand dashing out to grab me around my upper arm, and my feet were lifted off the floor and into the air.

My own muscles bulged and strained as I tried to hoist myself up into the darkness. As my body rose into the tight space, I had nowhere to go. It left me with little choice, and I made a quick decision. My free arm gripped Wes’s tactical vest, fingers looping around the various belts and straps. While keeping hold of me with one arm, his other arm dropped lower, wrapping around my ribcage, fingers grazing just under my breast as he grunted with the effort. And then, we came to the tipping point. We both fell backwards into the vent, me on top of him.

I knew I should move—pronto—but I needed a second to catch my breath. And I think he did too, because his arm remained wrapped around me, limp as I felt his chest heave with heavy breaths. And it was…weird. But also, kind of nice.

Wait, what? No! This is not what we’re doing. I shook my head, clearing the fog and confusion, and pushed myself off his chest. He cleared his throat and shifted out from underneath me.

“Edith says to go down until we hit the fork and make a left. We should pass three receiver vents, and then we should be there.”

“Right. Let’s go.” I reached into one of my many pockets and pulled out a small head lamp. Wes did the same. We slipped them on and switched the light to red to keep our night vision intact, and then he was off, crawling through the duct in front of me.

It didn’t take long at all, which was an extremely good thing since time was of the essence, and we didn’t have a lot of it left. When the time came, we turned left, and then kept crawling past the three vents Edith had mentioned. On the fourth one, Wes stopped and stooped his face low, gazing through the grate. After a moment, he lifted himself back up and slipped his fingers through the holes and tugged. The grate popped out of place, and he slid it aside. Poking his head into the room below, he took a quick look around before glancing at me.

“All clear.” Then he was sliding his legs over the opening and dropped himself into the room below. I crawled over and did the same, landing in a vast office. My eyes took in the dark room—navy blue carpet, white walls, and deep cherry wood furniture. Everything had a golden touch to it, showcasing this person’s wealth and opulence. My eyes then landed on the desk—ornately carved wood, a gilded desk lamp, stacks of files, and a computer. That was our target, and I didn’t waste any time.

I marched to the other side, my hip bumping the chair that rolled away easily as I tapped the keyboard, bringing the monitor to life.

Password.

“Wes, I need the decoder.” But I didn’t even need to finish the sentence. He was already slinging his pack off and pulling out the thin, silver device about eight inches long and five inches wide. He was at my side in a moment, pulling out a cord that he plugged into the computer before plugging the other end into the decoder. He tapped the screen of the device, typed into it, and then it started flashing numbers and letters with such speed, I couldn’t make out a damn thing.

“This is going to take a minute.”

I looked at my wrist, the screen coming to life on my tab, revealing the timer. Fifteen minutes. We only had fifteen minutes before all the cameras were going to come back to life. “We’ve got to hurry.”

Wes’s face remained like stone, giving me the impression of an Adonis carved out of the most flawless marble. Perfectly chiseled cheekbones, angular firm jaw, and dirty blond hair that complemented the hazel of his eyes. He stared at the screen, eyes intent but revealing nothing. I fixed my gaze on the computer and watched as letters and numbers began appearing in the box asking for a password.

XM445TXM

The computer responded just as the decoder flashed the same code on its screen. “We’re in.” Wes began unplugging the device as I leaned over the keyboard and started typing.

“You need to find the files for the Bellfire Tower.”

“I know.” Duh! My fingers worked vigorously, typing in keywords, clicking different files, and then starting over. All the while, Wes paced the room like a caged lion eager to be released.

“Let’s go, Mara,” he pushed.

I ignored him, scanning the words on the computer, searching desperately for the right file. “Got it!” My eyes pored over the screen. It was a map of the tower.

Wes trotted to my side and bent down to look at the monitor. “Where is it?”

“Looks like west…on the coast.” My hand ran the computer mouse across the desk, clicking on a link. “It’s…it’s a peninsula. Some sort of peninsula.” I glanced over at Wes, catching his intent stare on the screen.

“What cellblock is he?”

I shook my head, returning my focus to the computer as I clicked on another file, looking for the link that was going to give me the information I needed. Inmates…I needed to find their list of inmates.

Wes moved at my side. “Fuck.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“We’re out of time. We’ve got to go, now.” He marched away from me, running to the door of the office.

“I’m almost done. Just give me a sec—”

“No, Mara. We’re done. Let’s go.”

I was almost there. I could do this. I knew I could. My hands shook as I pulled out a thumb drive and jammed it into the computer. If I could just download these files, we could get the rest of the information we needed later.

“Mara!”

“I’m not done.”

“Yes, you are,” he growled back as he took forceful steps toward me. He grabbed my wrist, but I yanked it away.

“No, I’m not!”

“You’re going to kill us both!”

“Then go! Leave me, but I’m not going until I get what I came for.”

Then all hell broke loose.

3: Mission Terminated

The blaring sound of the alarm rang throughout the entire building. Time was up, and now they knew we were here.

I looked up at him. “Go! I’ll figure my own way out.”

We glared at each other, Wes wearing his characteristic scowl that I had come to learn was his signature look. His eyes flickered as I held my breath.

“Fuck,” he spat out as he walked away from me. He marched to a bookshelf filled with files and trinkets and knocked the entire thing over.

“What the hell are you doing?”

He dragged the furniture in front of the office door. “What does it look like?” His voice came out low and gruff. There was no doubt about it, he was pissed as hell. Once he had the bookshelf in place, he took several steps away from the door and aimed his stunner.

Understanding clicked into place, and I shifted my attention back to the computer, grabbing the mouse and clicking as many files as I could, dragging them to the thumb drive. I only needed one more minute.

Almost there…almost there…done!

As if on cue, the door to the office whammed loudly, causing me to jump. Then another bang, as though a battering ram was being used, the force causing the walls to rattle and the door to splinter slightly.

“Crap!” The word flew out of me. I grabbed the thumb drive and quickly tucked it into my pocket. “That’s our way out.”

“Was our way out. We’re fucked.” Wes took measured steps backwards.

WHAM!

The door rattled.

“The vent?”

“No good.” He lifted his tab and started typing. “I’m requesting an emergency evac. But we’ve got to get out of here.” I looked around the office, but apart from the door and the air-conditioning vent, I didn’t see another way out. Wes looked around as another bang hit the door. Then his gaze stopped on the window behind us. He walked toward it and stared down before turning and grabbing the chair by the desk. “Cover your eyes.”

“What?” Before I could finish asking my question, he lifted the chair over his head and slammed it against the window, causing it to spider out with cracks and fracture lines. Then he pulled the chair back and slammed it against the window again, effectively sending shards of glass everywhere. “Oh my god! What the hell?”

He threw the chair aside and glanced out the window. “We’re going to have to jump.”

“Are you crazy?” My voice grew shrill.

“Crazy is what I was when I agreed to go on this fucking mission.” He faced the desk and grabbed the corners, shaking it forcibly, but it didn’t budge. “Give me your rope.”

Another wham sounded at the door as I uncinched my rope and handed it to him. He was nuts if he thought I was going to jump. “We’re twenty stories high. There’s no way I’m jumping out that window.”

He moved with lightning speed and precision, taking one end of the rope and tying it to the leg of the desk before he threw the rest of it out the window. “We’re not jumping. Get on my back.”

“Oh, hell no—”

“Shut up and get on my back now!”

I hesitated for a moment, staring at him as he waited, the scowl firmly in place. Oh hell… I let out an exasperated sigh before rushing toward him. He crouched down, motioning me to climb up. I did. He positioned us over the opening of the window, grabbing the length of rope and looping it through the carabiner attached to his tactical belt. I made the stupid mistake of looking down. And it was a long way down.

“Shit,” I muttered.

“Hang on.”

I gripped tighter and closed my eyes as Wes spun around and slipped outside the window, his muscles shifting under me. I heard another wham at the door, causing me to look up. It was still holding, but they were going to bust through at any moment. Wes began propelling us down, my heart sinking into a pit as my hair drifted toward the sky in waves of weightlessness.

Every time he pushed off the building, I felt my heart flutter and my stomach bottom out. I closed my eyes a little tighter, and I hung on for dear life as air blew past my face. The summer heat wrapped around us as Wes continued to propel down, suffocating me. I took the chance and opened my eyes, leaning over to see how much further we had to go. We were almost there, but we still had several stories left, and—

Oh shit.

“Wes, we’re going to run out of rope,” I shouted into the night air.

“What?”

“There’s not enough rope!”

His movements paused as he looked down. “Fuck.”

I looked down again, my eyes seeing the last few yards of rope dangling below us, and then the cavernous depth that remained between us and the ground. “What are we going to do? We’re still too high!”

He shifted under me as he looked down again. I could feel his body shaking as the muscles beneath me rippled and strained. “We’re going to have to jump—”

“What? We’re thirty feet high! We’ll never survive the fall.”

“I know that, Mara,” he snapped back through gritted teeth.

“Oh my god…” I looked around desperately. My heart was pounding, threatening to explode from the fear.

“I’m going to slide down the last few yards of rope, okay? I’m going to get us as close to the ground as I can. Then I want you to climb down my body until you’re at my feet and then hang from there.”

He was crazy. This was crazy. “I don’t know, Wes—”

“Just listen to me!” he gasped out. He took several deep breaths before continuing. “Hang from my feet. That’ll get you closer to the ground. When you let go, make sure you land on the balls of your feet, not your heels. Keep your knees bent and stay loose. When you land, allow your legs to bend and roll into the landing.”

My mind was swimming with his instructions. Sure, I had been training all summer, but never in my life did I train for a free fall from a building. This was insane! “What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Oh my god.”

“Get going.”

I looked over my shoulder at the distance below and felt my stomach bottom out, nausea filling me. I closed my eyes, trying to steady the dizziness that was overwhelming me.

“Mara…” I turned my head to face Wes, but all I could really see was the side of his face as he tried to look at me. “It’s going to be okay,” he said gently. Wes was never gentle. Rarely had I heard him speak in a way that wasn’t a growl or condescending. But here he was, speaking softly, slowly, encouragingly. “We’re not going to die. I’m going to get us out of this, I promise. But you have to trust me, okay?”

My stomach twisted as warmth flashed through me. Did I trust him? I didn’t know. It wasn’t like Wes and I were close or anything. Sure, we had some awkward moments, and yes, Wes had saved my life before…twice in fact. But trust was such a strong word, and our relationship was so incredibly complicated, made worse because Matias and I were in a weird place too.

My heart clenched, tightening my chest and creating a lump at the back of my throat. Matias. Sorrow filled me…and anger. But I couldn’t do this right now. I couldn’t unpack all that crap while I was dangling from a rope, clinging to another guy—who was freaking gorgeous, by the way—while being suspended thirty feet off the ground. Uh, no…I didn’t think so.

“Mara?”

My attention snapped back into place, bringing me into the here and now. And without even thinking about it, the words fell off my lips. “I trust you.”

Bang!

The sound scared me, causing me to loosen my grip. I screamed as I slid down Wes’s back by accident, and then snatched back on to him.

“Mara! Are you okay?”

I hung onto his waist, glancing up at the gaping hole in the building, and my jaw slackened.

Oh no.

My heart sputtered, because there, in the window, were three Telvian guards looking down at us. And they all had rifles aimed right at us.

4: Mission Complete

“Shit!” Wes growled. “We got to go now! Hang on!”

No sooner did he call out his warning, I felt both of us glide down the rope, my hair flying up into the air around me as I became weightless. I screamed, closing my eyes as my fingers curled tighter around the fabric and straps of Wes’s uniform. My heart squeezed as adrenaline coursed through my body, and all I could do was pray we didn’t die.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The sound of gunfire was sharp and loud but was drowned out by the whirring sound of the air rushing past my ears—a perfect audio representation of how my stomach felt. I chanced opening my eyes as I felt us come to a stop and looked around. We still had rope left, but not much.

“Calling in REG support. We need back up at Admin One. I repeat, back up at Admin One.”

Another gunshot whizzed by me, causing me to shift my weight instinctually to get out of the way.

“We’re in deep shit,” Wes grated out. He looked down to the left of him just as I looked up, and our eyes met. I saw it. I saw exactly what I was afraid of on full display in those captivating hazel eyes.

“We’re going to die, aren’t we?” It wasn’t a real question. I knew it was the truth, and it was my fault. Because I didn’t listen to Sasha. I didn’t listen to her and heed her warning that this was a suicide mission. I was so focused on saving Jacob, on finding out where they held him prisoner, that I didn’t listen to her wisdom. And worst of all, I hadn’t just sentenced myself to death, but I had sentenced Wes to death too. Because I hadn’t listened to him either. When he said we had to go, I stayed. And now we were both going to pay the price for my stubbornness and stupidity.

Wes opened his mouth to say something, but then closed his lips. His eyes flickered, several emotions passing through them—regret, frustration, hurt, and something else. And they hardened as Wes took in a deep breath, his lips pressing firmly together as his jaw set in a hard line. “I said I was going to get you out of here. That’s still the plan.”

“But—”

BANG! BANG!

“FUCK!” Wes screamed out as my face was splattered with thick, wet droplets of moisture. His grip loosened, and we went sliding down the length of rope in a free fall. I screamed but flung out my right hand and grabbed the rope as my left gripped firmly onto Wes’s tactical belt.

And I’m so glad I did.

My arm wrapped around the length of rope as Wes’s body went flying past me, and then—

SNAP!

My left arm screamed out in searing pain, tentacles of burning sensations clawing up my shoulder and into my neck and back. But I held on…I held on with all the strength I could muster, curling my fingers on both hands until I felt my nails digging into my flesh. I clung to the rope with one hand while gripping Wes’s tactical belt with the other.

“Wes!” I screamed, but it was no use. He was dead weight in my arms, dangling by the belt buckled around his waist. I screamed his name out again, my eyes searching his body and seeing the glistening of thick, red fluid on his uniform.

Oh my god…is he dead?

“No…NO! Wes, please wake up!” My breath came in rapid pants as panic seized my soul. With my arms stretched out in opposite directions, my body felt like it was being torn apart. We were going to die. This was it. We were done for.

“Wes!” I screamed again. “Wes, please! I can’t—”

My grip on the rope slipped, and I felt the braided fibers slide through my palm, burning the skin as it went. “Shit!” I clamped my hand down harder, finding myself at the end of the rope. I looked around desperately, trying to figure a way out of this mess, but with my hands occupied, I couldn’t think of anything I could do. And then, I saw it. Wes’s eyes fluttered once, twice, and then they opened.

Oh, thank god!

“Wes!”

“Ugh…shit,” he grumbled deep in his throat.

“Wes,” I yelled at him again, trying to get his attention. I knew he was hurt. I could still feel the blood on my face, but he was alive. That was all that mattered. He was alive, and we were still in a shit-ton of trouble. “Jesus, listen to me!” His eyes fluttered again as he moved around, causing my fingers to ache and lose their grip. “Wes, stop moving! I’m going to lose you!”

BANG! BANG!

That got his attention.

Wes’s eyes flew wide open, the sound of the bullets whizzing past us bringing him back into the present moment. “Fuck!” He reached upwards and grabbed my arm, relieving some of the pressure on my hand, but the weight of his body still pulled on my own. “Mara, we’ve got to jump.”

“What? Are you crazy?”

He looked past me, back up the side of the building, before looking back at me. “Let go!”

“But we’ll die!”

“We’re going to die anyway if we stay here!” His eyes were feverish, burning bright as he urged me to condemn us to our deaths.

“Oh my god,” the words escaped me as I looked up, watching the officers reloading their weapons and then back down at the ground past Wes. Maybe we could survive the fall? Crap. Who was I kidding? We were in such deep—

“On the count of three, I want you to let go,” he shouted back up at me. “Remember what I said—land on the balls of your feet and then roll into the landing, just like we trained, okay?”

“We trained being thrown, not free falling from an effing building, Wes!”

“It’s the same thing—”

“It is NOT the same thing!”

BANG!

I screamed again, the bullet flying past, startling me. That was close. Way too freaking close!

“Mara!” I looked back at Wes, and our eyes met. His hazel eyes bewitched me as they always had, holding me prisoner. And with a firm, deep voice that screamed sincerity, he said, “Trust me.” My breath caught in my chest as I inhaled, feeling my heart squeeze in fear. And then I nodded. Wes looked down at the ground before looking back up at me. “One…”

One.

“Two…”

Two.

“Thr—”

And then the rope snapped.

5: Free Fall

The scream that erupted from my lips didn’t even sound like mine. It came from deep within as I plummeted down toward my death, arms and legs flailing as I fell. But through the fear, a thought came clearly through my mind— I die, Jacob dies. And with that, I whipped into action.

Flipping my body, I got my feet underneath me, ready to roll into the landing as best as I could, watching the stone-hard ground racing up to greet me. And then…

IMPACT!

My feet collided into the ground, sending a shockwave of ache through my legs and up my spine. But I bent my knees, absorbing some of the impact, and then bent at the waist, leaning forward to take even more of the hit, saving my spine. Then, I was somersaulting, shifting my head to the side, using my shoulder to roll through the remaining energy of the fall. My legs curled as they glided through the air above my head. The speed of the roll gave me enough power to complete the somersault and pop back up on my feet, ready to sprint.

I glanced to my right as I watched Wes do the same, rolling onto his feet like a graceful mountain cat—long, strong, and limber. But the grimace on his face told me everything I needed to know. He was hurt.

“Are you okay?”

BANG! BANG!

“Fuck no, I’m not okay!” He ran toward me, grabbed my hand, and pulled. “We’ve got to go, NOW!” And then we were off, racing through the dark as gunfire shattered the silence of the night. I had no idea where we were going. All I knew was that everything ached, every muscle screamed for me to stop, but adrenaline carried me, giving me the strength I needed to push through.

We ran away from the building, ducking into the alleyway, and back to the wall we started from. And just like before, I slid down onto one knee, allowing him to use my thigh as a step. He jumped and reached the top of the wall, swung his body around, and then reached back down for me, hoisting me up. As I straddled the wall to slide down onto the other side, my eyes caught sight of the glistening red smeared across the top.

Wes had been hit.

I knew it happened. I felt the spray of his blood across my face as we hung suspended between death by firing squad and death by free fall. But we didn’t die. We had made it—miraculously—but he was hurt. I didn’t know how badly, but the way his arm cradled his side, the way the hard lines of his face remained taut, and his eyes winced as he moved, I knew he was hurting bad.

A memory of me straddling Wes inside a truck as I pushed down on his shoulder, blood pouring out of his body, soaking my hands, my clothing, and everything else, sent a small wave of panic through me. He had almost died that night. What was going to happen to him now?

“Let’s go!” he growled at me as he jumped down off the wall. I shook my head as I leaped off, the landing causing my joints to scream out at the impact. “We’ve got to make it the extraction point.” I didn’t respond, but followed closely on his heels as we ran through the Telvian streets.

And then I heard them.

An eerie howl sounded through the night.

Wes stopped running, frozen in time. Standing together, we listened to the demonic sound as several more howls called in the dark. And then my blood ran cold. It couldn’t be…could it?

“What the hell is that?” Wes’s breaths came out sharp and shallow.

“You don’t think…”

Another howl sounded through the night, sending a chill down my spine as my skin prickled with goosebumps. Wes’s eyes landed on mine. It was obvious we were both fearing the same thing. Wes lifted his mini-tab to his lips, speaking into the smartwatch.

“I need that emergency evac now!”

“Blackhawk on the way,” a male voice reported back. “Ten minutes out.”

Wes scowled, “Make it five! We’ve got hellhounds.” My heart skipped a beat at the affirmation…hellhounds.

We were in deep shit.

Wes didn’t wait for a response before he grabbed my hand and dragged us into the dark. “Listen, we’ve got to make it to the park. It’s the only place where the Blackhawk can land. But there’s no way we’re going to make it before the hellhounds catch up to us. I want you to keep going while I get them off our trail.”

“What? What do you mean, ‘get them off our trail?’” He better not be talking about what I thought he was talking about.

“Those hounds are going to hunt us down. I’m covered in blood—”

“So am I,” I protested.

He closed his eyes and grunted momentarily in pain, gripping his side, before finally breathing in deeply and looking back at me. “Listen to me. I’m going to lead them off. You get to the park. I’ll get another emergency evac.”

Oh no… No, no, no, no.

There was no way in hell I was going to go for this plan. “I’m not going without you. We either go together, or we both lead them off, but I’m not going to the park without you.”

“Shit, Mara, just go to the damn fucking park!” He was furious, but I was finally figuring Wes out. And I knew that anger was Wes’s way of bullying people into what he wanted.

“No! We can both make it.”

He cursed under his breath, grunting low in his throat as he closed his eyes again, taking in sharp breaths. I wasn’t sure if it was frustration at me or the pain that was getting the better of him, but I wasn’t going to back down from this. A second ticked by before he finally opened his eyes and the expression shifted on his face. Our gazes locked. And for the first time in my life, I saw an emotion I had never seen on Wes before…desperation. “Please. Please go.”

The plea came out in a breath, and the vulnerability of his distress caused me to feel weak in the knees. But I couldn’t leave him…I wouldn’t. Without thinking about what I was doing, I cupped his face in my hands, my own actions surprising me. Wes and I weren’t like this. Unless we were training in the gym, we didn’t touch each other. But life was moving fast around us, and with death howling at the moon, hunting us down, I didn’t really care. I stared up into his molten hazel eyes as his body stiffened, and for once I thought my eyes were the ones that held him captive. “I’m not leaving you. You stay, then I stay.”

The look of shock was replaced by something I couldn’t read as his eyes shifted back and forth, flickering in the little light provided by the streetlamp. I didn’t know what he was thinking or what he kept locked away inside himself. But I knew one thing—I owed him my life multiple times over. And abandoning him in an alley at the mercy of hellhounds was not going to happen.

A sigh of resignation fell from his lips as his shoulders slumped slightly, giving in. “All right. We’ve got to be quick. No stunners this time. Pull out your 9mm and aim to kill. Hellhounds won’t show us any mercy, so we’re going to return the favor.”

I gave one definitive nod before letting him go. I reached for the holster attached to my left hip. Unsnapping the strap, I pulled out the black gun, keeping it pointed to the ground the whole time. Flicking the safety off, I pulled back the slide, listening to the metal glide across itself, and let go. It snapped back into place with a sharp tinging sound as its weight caused the gun to jerk in my hand. The bullet slipped into the chamber.

I was ready.

6: Hellhounds

The sound of the howls grew closer, leaving us with only one option—run…run fast.

My legs pounded the street, each limb stretched out as far as it could go, trying to consume as much pavement as possible. The burn in my muscles told me I was tired, my body aching for rest, but we couldn’t do that. Not with what chased us.

Wes was normally faster than me, but tonight he was lagging, barely keeping up with my strides. And the knowledge that he was struggling sent fear swelling through my body. Fear for him…fear for me…fear for what would happen if we didn’t reach the park in time.

We didn’t have that far to go. Telvia’s Central Park was in the center of the city, close to the Administration Buildings. I knew we were only a mile away, but the mile seemed to stretch endlessly before us. The park felt like a distant hope that flickered weakly with each passing second, threatening to be extinguished by the sounds of hell calling out into the night.

And then it changed.

And the change sent a fresh wave of gooseflesh crawling through my skin. The howl that collided with the silence shifted. No longer drawn-out and eerie, the next call that greeted my ears was a yip, followed by another, and then another. And before I knew it, a cacophony of yips and yaps rose and fell, creating a staccato sound as the beasts communicated to one another.

“They’re on us,” Wes shouted through gasped breaths. “They’ve picked up our scent.”

Yes, they had…the iron-rich smell of blood. The symphony of bone-chilling calls were the victorious howls of Raúl’s most wretched creations. I’d never seen one myself. I had always been told that they were only used at the Bellfire Tower—never in Telvia because they were too much of a risk to the citizens. Clearly, that was a lie. Just another to add to the endless list of lies fed to me from day one. And not just me, but to every Telvian citizen. Telvia was nothing but a city of lies, maintained by my father, the grand master of deceit himself—Raúl de la Puente.

My instincts wanted me to push harder, to run faster, but I was terrified of leaving Wes behind. “You’ve got to move it, Wes,” I yelled back at him.

“What the fuck do you think I’m doing…baking cupcakes?” His voice was tart, sharp as he gritted his teeth and grunted through the pain I imagined he was feeling.

“What does that even mean? What the hell is a cupcake?”

He ignored me, waving me off.

Note to self: research cupcakes if we make it out alive.

We ran through the streets, not caring who saw us because it didn’t matter anymore. The hounds were loose and anyone else on the street was going to be just as screwed as we were. Memories played through my mind like a movie as sweat trickled down my temples and my heart thundered in my chest.

I thought of Edith, my best friend, the only other person willing to volunteer for this mission. If she were here, she’d be pulling out her katana and planting her feet, readying herself to face the hounds.

And then there was Chelsea. I hadn’t seen her in a while. Our relationship was extremely complicated, made worse by the fact that we had both fallen for the same boy. But no matter how much Chelsea and I hated each other, she sacrificed herself for me months ago at the Telvian processing plant. And now she was still all screwed up, stuck in the institute while they worked to figure out what the Telvians did to her while holding her prisoner.

Then, there was Matias, the boy caught between Chelsea and me. But he didn’t come with me. He didn’t volunteer to help. It wasn’t about me, though, and I knew that. It was about my brother.

I knew Matias liked me. He’d made that clear back at the rebel camp before it was destroyed by the REG. But when Chelsea was released by the Telvians and showed back up at camp, bloodied and clearly beaten within an inch of her life, she revealed Jacob was the one who had laid his hands on her…over and over again. I couldn’t believe it, but it was true. And Matias couldn’t get over it. He chose her, and then when I asked for help to rescue my brother, Matias refused to assist. I understood, but it didn’t take the sting out of his refusal to help me. It didn’t make things less awkward, less tense between us. It just ratcheted up all the pain, the hurt, the jealousy, and—if I was going to be honest with myself—the betrayal. I felt so betrayed by him.

I shook my head, trying to pull myself out of the memories that swam in my mind, my life wanting to flash before my eyes. But I couldn’t do that. I refused to die tonight. Jacob’s life depended on it. Wes’s life depended on it. I kept my eyes focused on the road ahead, pushing my legs to go faster, following the curve of the street as the sinister sounds of the hounds overwhelmed my ears.

We weren’t going to make it. There was no way.

We were going to die.

“Mara!”

I turned my head to look over my shoulder at Wes and instantly regretted it.

WHAM!

My body flew, completely lifted off the ground with the force of the impact before landing hard on my back, knocking the wind out of me. My eyes flew open just in time to witness the yellowed teeth and glistening red gums of a maw getting ready to sink into my face. I tried to scream, but my lungs were still trying to recover from the force of the collision.

BANG! BANG!

The massive jaw closed as the full weight of the hellhound slumped on top of me…all 120 pounds of it. The sudden dead weight made it difficult to breathe as the creature’s boney elbows dug into my hip. I tried to shove it off, using all my strength to try and lift it, but I could barely move it.

“Push!” Wes was at my side, squatting down and burying his fingers under the mangy black fur of the hound, and then lifted. I obliged, giving the thing another shove, gritting my teeth as I finally felt the pressure release. It rolled off me, and I was finally able to breathe again. “Come on,” Wes growled as he took my hand and pulled me up to my feet.

There was no time for gratitude. No sooner was I on my feet when another hound rounded the corner of a building, caught sight of us, and yipped as it ran straight toward us.

“Shit!” I went to fire my gun, only to realize it had been knocked out of my hand when I was attacked.

BANG!

Wes’s Glock kicked in his hand, and the bullet struck true. Headshot. The beast dropped to the floor. “Go!” he screamed before turning on his heels. I looked around, spotting my 9mm only a few feet away from us. I ran toward it. “Leave it, Mara!” I stopped in my tracks, glancing at Wes and then back at my gun. “Leave it!” he growled again.

With a huff, I turned back to face him and took off running. Adrenaline was kicking in now, the sweet burn warming my chest, hitting my heart, and then spreading through my body, lighting my veins on fire. It felt good. It felt powerful. And it gave me the extra umph I needed to push myself. Another cacophony of yips and yaps sounded behind us.

“We’re almost there!” Wes shouted.

It was in that moment that I heard it—the light thrumming calling to us in the distance. I looked up at the sky. The dark night was clear, the heavens littered with stars and a moon so full, you’d think she was ready to burst like a firework, raining down stardust on us all. But I couldn’t find what I was looking for. I couldn’t find our salvation. Amazing how the world could be filled with both light and dark, good and evil. While the skies offered me beauty, the earth only offered death.

But the sound grew louder, closer. And before I knew it, it was overcoming the howls of the dogs behind us, each thrumming sound vibrating in my chest. My eyes shot to the sky once again, looking straight above as the emergency helicopter flew low, right over my head, creating a powerful wind that whipped my hair around and threatened to throw me off balance.

“Go, go, go, go!” Wes called as he pointed straight ahead to a large clearing set in the middle of Central Park.

Oh, thank god!

The site of the artificial turf and tracking towers disguised as pine trees was a sight for sore eyes. The last time I had been here felt like a lifetime ago, but it had been less than six months prior. And at that time, I was still naïve, lost, and living under Belinda’s cruel punishments of isolation, starvation, and wicked lashings. At that time, I had Chase. And then he died, my father burning him alive in a grand arena for all to watch because, as it turned out, Chase was a Dissenter…a rebel.

I shook my head again, trying to regain control of my mind as I ran for my life. This wasn’t the time to take a trip down memory lane. I had to get my shit together and keep it together. My life—our lives—depended on it.

I watched as the Blackhawk turned overhead to the left and then hovered in the night sky. Why wasn’t he landing?

I looked around, casting a glance at Wes, whose strained face and ever reddening uniform spoke a thousand words. And then I heard a growl so deep and so loud, it pulled my attention to the left and right of us.

And then it all clicked into place.

The pack of hellhounds had finally caught up, triangulating us like the wickedly smart apex predators they were rumored to be. They boxed us in, cutting us off from our escape.

We were totally screwed.

7: Duck

Fear gripped me, a stabbing pain in my chest so fierce, I thought my heart was going to give out. The Blackhawk hovered, our emergency escape suspended in the air, causing the wind to blow about and push us back from the safety we so desperately craved.

Wes came to a screeching halt, arm outstretched with his gun pointing toward the mass of hounds that had slowed their pace and stood in our way. And for the first time, I was able to get a good look at them, and they were disgusting.

They were covered in matted black or brown fur, patchy, as though spots of their body had been shaved to expose sickly gray skin. And they were huge—as in, massive! Their paws appeared to be the size of saucers, with black claws that clicked on the asphalt of the street as they paced impatiently before us. Their eyes glowed yellow, orange, and red, as though the flames of hell raged within them, peeking through the windows of their eyes. And as they snarled, their lips peeled back to reveal rows of sharp, yellowed canines glistening with the drool that dripped from their mouths. They weren’t pretty beasts, and they absolutely terrified me. But what could you expect from the most horrible science experiment ever conducted in Telvia?

Let’s just say that Dr. Frankenstein had nothing on Raúl.

“We’ve got to get to the Blackhawk,” Wes said to me with the deep timbre of his voice.

I swallowed, casting a glance over my shoulder to see another mass of hounds behind us.

“Yeah, I got that part. My question is, how the hell do you propose we do that?” I turned my body around to keep a better eye on the pack that was stalking toward us. I reached for the stunner holstered on my left hip. It may not be my gun, but it was way better than nothing.

Wes stayed quiet for a moment as his eyes focused on the beasts in front of him until a slew of obscenities came out from under his breath. That wasn’t a good sign. Wes cussing up a storm was no surprise. The man practically lived for cursing. But in this particular situation, Wes’s typical communication style wasn’t welcomed. It meant he had no plan, no idea of how we were going to get out of this mess.

It meant we were royally screwed.

My eyes darted about, searching for an escape route, anything we could use to get the hell out of this, but I came up short. All I saw was the pack of hounds—at least two dozen of them—circling us, closing in.

This was it. It was going to all come down to this.

Bzzz! Bzzz!

My mini-tab vibrated on my wrist. I ignored it. This wasn’t the time to check my messages.

Bzzz! Bzzz!

The tab shook on my wrist again, begging me to pay attention to it. I quickly lifted my wrist and cast a quick glance at it. It was Edith. I tabbed the screen.

Edith: Duck!

What?

“Watch out!” Wes screamed as he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pulled me down to the floor. A whistle sounded through the air and then fire exploded into the mass of snarling dogs that had been standing in our way. The shockwave of the blast threw me forward, sending me onto my belly and Wes onto his back beside me. My ears rang, the high-pitched sound blocking out all else. I opened my eyes, feeling dazed and lost as I tried to scramble back onto my feet. I looked to my right, catching Wes’s lips moving, but I couldn’t hear a word of what he said. All I heard was the ringing…the incessant ringing.

I looked away from him, out at the pack of hounds that had been at our backs. Some of them had been knocked over. A few had scattered off, ears pinned flat against their heads as they slouched low to the ground. Only a couple remained determined to see us as their next meal. I felt a tug on my arm and turned to see Wes on his feet, clearly yelling at me, pulling on my arm with one hand as the other pointed vehemently to the chopper in front of him.

I looked out in that direction and saw that a path had been cleared. Most of the hounds lied in chunks of charred flesh and in bloody pools. A few trotted about still, seeming not to notice the fire burning the little fur they had. Apparently, these things felt no pain. But despite the few that remained, a clear path had been set. And we took it.

Using my hands to push off, I broke out into a sprint, watching as Wes fired his Glock—once, twice, three times—the bullet casings flying into the air in silent discharge, as he broke out into a sprint beside me. The ringing kept sounding as I looked behind me to see the hellhounds had broken into a run to chase us.

I couldn’t focus on them…I had to stay focused on the Blackhawk. I turned back around, pumping my arms as I gave it all I had, eyes focused on the black helicopter that was still hovering above the ground. Why wasn’t it lowering? How the hell did they expect us to get on with it hovering in the air like that?

I glanced at Wes running at my side, and as if he could sense my gaze on him, he looked at me. I wanted to ask him if he was okay, if we were going to survive, but my lungs gasped for oxygen as my chest tightened and squeezed. I looked forward again, the helicopter only twenty yards away, and then I caught sight of the measly little rope dangling from the side of it. It dropped all the way down and stopped approximately six feet from the park floor.

Oh hell no. There’s no way they expected us to shimmy up that rope in time before the bloody hounds ate us.

The ringing finally subsided, and the ambient sounds of the huffing and snarling behind me, ever closer, were an unwelcome change. I looked back at Wes again as we closed in on the dangling rope. Just as we reached it, his hand darted out, wrapping around my waist in a death grip as his opposite hand lashed out and grabbed the rope. Before I could understand what the hell was happening, my feet were flying off the ground. The Blackhawk pulled straight up—six feet, seven feet, eight feet. And then the hounds were under us, leaping high into the air, snapping at our dangling limbs. Wes held me tight against his bloodied body while his other hand stood as the only thing that kept us from plummeting to our deaths.

Holy mother!

I gripped on to him, my fingers curling into the fabric of his tactical vest with all the strength I had.

Ten feet, twelve feet, sixteen feet, twenty.

Higher and higher we climbed until the chopper had cleared the fake trees of the park, the hounds becoming nothing more than glowing red eyes. And then it flew off, straight into the night sky as Wes and I clung to each other, holding on for dear life.

8: The Rebels

My breath had finally evened out, the excitement settling. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, I sat tired, slumped in the back of the Blackhawk while sweat trickled down my face and dried blood crusted my skin. My gaze fell to my throbbing hands, glistening in ointment. They were burned raw from the rope, and stained pink with the remnants of dry blood. Some of it was mine, it turned out. But most of it belonged to Wes.

After dangling from the flying vehicle for what felt like hours, someone began reeling us in, pulling up the rope and bringing us closer and closer to the safety of the chopper’s cabin. And I was so incredibly grateful, because as I gripped onto Wes for dear life, I could feel the strain of his muscular body as he held both our weight with one freaking hand. And as he did, I felt my clothing dampen with his blood.

I turned my face to look at him next to me, tactical vest torn open and bloody gauze wrapped around his torso. It was a crude job, but it was better than nothing. I studied him, watching as he slumped against the back of the chopper, eyes closed, dozing. The medic in the helicopter thought it would be best if they drugged him for the ride back to the North. It wasn’t going to be a straight shot, though. We were going to have to stop to refuel at a satellite camp—Camp Butte—which rested between Telvia and the Northern capital. But, for now, he slept.

And I watched.

Not in a creepy ex-girlfriend kind of way. I wasn’t his girlfriend. Never had been.

No…I watched him sleep and thought about the weird relationship we shared. I had been betrothed to his identical twin brother. Promised by my mother to marry the First Son of the North as a way to secure an army to take down Raúl. But all of that ended when Raúl had Chase murdered in the arena. I wasn’t promised to anyone anymore, and I was finally free to make my own choices. Free of Raúl’s tyranny, and free of Belinda’s vindictive abuse. She was my wicked-ass stepmother who enjoyed torturing me my whole life. But none of that is what kept me staring at Wes.

I watched as strands of loose blond hair fell across his face and framed his right eye. I watched as his chiseled cheekbones and angular jaw sat firm, making him look as though he were carved out of stone. I watched as his chest rose and fell in soft movements, creating a delicious scene of pectoral muscles and perfectly carved abs. I watched him, and I felt as my heart quickened, and my stomach churned. I felt as heat flushed my body, burning low and slow, simmering deep within me.

I watched.

Once upon a time, I used to look at Wes and see nothing but Chase, and my heart would respond like this. My body craved his touch and gentle caresses. But I didn’t see that anymore.

I saw something different.

I saw a boy who was everything like his brother and then completely different at the same time. I saw a boy who had grown up in the shadow of his perfect twin, held to the same standard but never given the same benefit of the doubt. I saw a boy who loved and hated his mirror image because he desired the attention but feared the responsibility it came with.

And then, I saw a man…a man who fought hard to save my life the day the world burned down at the rebel camp. I saw a man who was wrestling with his new identity as the First Son of the North—an entire region of the United Factions of America. I saw a man who was nothing like his charismatic and charming twin. Who was all hard lines, obscenities, and a granite shield that kept others from ever getting too close. I saw a man who, despite his twenty-one years, was still only a boy in his heart…afraid of what his future held in store for him.

But the biggest thing I saw was the thing that kept me staring. I saw Wes. I was looking at Wes and, for once, wasn’t being reminded of Chase. I wasn’t thinking of the replica that had died so many months ago. For once, I only saw Wes.

And that scared me.

I shivered, shaking my head to try and break the spell that had taken hold. My body was hot, my heart quick, and shivers ran up and down my spine. I always had these sensations when I looked at Chase. I always had these sensations when I looked at Wes and thought of Chase. But I had never experienced them when I looked at Wes and only saw Wes. And that thought was unnerving. Because I was left wondering what these sensations meant. What was my body trying to tell me when it shivered and quaked and ached for the touch of a boy who wasn’t anything to me?

But I guess that was the piece I was wrestling with…the part I was struggling to accept. That’s the truth I had been trying to bury as I dealt with the confusion I felt around Matias. Wes did mean something. I just wasn’t sure what that was yet.

“He looks so much like his brother, doesn’t he?” The medic was sitting across from us, watching me as I stared at Wes. “Hope he can live up to his old man’s expectations,” he added.

And just like that, a shot of something flurried within me, and I caught myself speaking without even thinking of my words. “He’s nothing like Chase. But he’s going to do a great job at whatever he’s expected to do.”

The medic looked at me, an eyebrow arched and the expression of what’s your problem on his face, but I turned away from him, looking back at Wes. I didn’t expect him to get it. I didn’t expect anyone to get it.

But I did.

I knew Wes had been compared to his brother his whole life and could never measure up. And now, with Chase gone, he was expected to take on Chase’s responsibilities as the First Son of the North. But I also knew he was hesitant. He had shared that with me in one of the few civil moments we had back at the rebel camp. He shared he wasn’t sure if he wanted the role. And even though he wouldn’t admit it, I knew he was scared.

I couldn’t blame him.

I took in another deep breath, trying my best to shake off my uncertainty. There was so much to be done, so much I had to do, and I just didn’t have time to deal with all the feels right now. I had to stay focused. Jacob needed me. My brother needed me to find him and rescue him before his time ran out.

I took another deep breath, held it for the count of four seconds, and then slowly exhaled to calm my nerves and settle my stress. I knew it was going to be a long flight, so I rested my head back against the Blackhawk and closed my eyes to get some sleep.

***

“We’re here.”

Someone grabbed my shoulder, shaking me awake. And when I opened my eyes, I realized the medic was practically shoving me out of my seat.

“I need you to move. We’ve got to get him into surgery.”

What?

Then my memory filled in the blanks, reminding me that Wes was still hurt and needed to have the bullet removed from his torso. I scrambled out of the helicopter, not wanting to be a hindrance. A quick look around told me we were located out on the open plains. Nothing like the camp we had in the mountains. No…this was all tall grassland and flat for miles and miles. Just darkness, grass, and stars.

I whipped around as the medic climbed out and another group of individuals arrived, red crosses emblazoned on white armbands. It didn’t take long for them to pull Wes out, long limbs limp in their arms, and put him on a stretcher.

“Is he going to be okay?” The medic had already told me he would be, but a small part of me continued to feel anxious.

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. We’ll get the bullet out, stitch him up, and make sure we get him some blood and antibiotics.”

“Can I go with him?”

“No extras in the medical bay. Sorry.”

I nodded, a grimace on my face. Yeah right, you’re sorry. I sighed, mildly frustrated as they took him away from me. Part of me wanted to tell them to shove it and follow them anyway, but I also didn’t want to be in the way. In the end, I ended up taking deep breaths and standing next to the helicopter, not knowing what to do. A few seconds ticked by, and I felt as the exhaustion of the night slowly crawled its way back through me.

“Are you Mara de la Puente?”

I turned to face a soldier who had snuck up on me. “Yeah?”

“You’re wanted in command. Follow me, please.”

Command? Who the hell here wanted me in command?

Curiosity bit me, and I followed. It wasn’t long before I was being guided into a very similar tent to the one I had seen back in the old rebel camp. But unlike the one I was familiar with, this one had a rectangular table as opposed to the round one. No maps hung from the walls, no added decor or fluff. Just a rectangular table, chairs, and a little black box thing in the center of said table.

Jeez…a conference room was more interesting than this. I looked around, noticing that the room was empty. “Hey, who wanted—” My sentence dropped off as I turned to find the soldier gone, and I was alone. “Huh.” I furrowed my brows, turning back around to see the empty space.

And then, a flash of white-blue light shined upward from the little black box and formed a hologram. The woman was older, clearly in her mid-seventies, with long silver hair she had tamed in a braid that rested over her right shoulder. I recognized her immediately.

Sasha De’vor, leader of the Free People of the West and South—regions of the UFA before Raúl invaded and took over in one of the most successful coups in recorded history. Sasha was the head of the rebellion, and the ass I had to kiss to get some semblance of support to go on this whacked mission in the first place. For all intents and purposes, she was my boss, but she needed me. She needed me to help garner favor against Raúl and motivate the people of Telvia to rebel against him. She needed me big time.

But I needed her too.

Because without her, there was no way in hell I was going to save my brother before my dad or the Telvian Council had him executed for his crimes of helping me escape…twice.

“Good evening, child.”

I turned to face her, my feet shoulder width apart. “Hi, Sasha.”

“I am told that you both survived.”

“Yes. Wes got hurt, but the medic said he’ll be fine. They’re working on him right now.”

“Good. I may not have agreed with this mission of yours, but I am happy to hear that you both made it through.”

I stayed quiet. I knew she was pissed. When I asked for this mission, she rejected it immediately. But when it became clear I was going to do it whether she liked it or not, she reluctantly agreed. Part of me was still super confused about why she was willing to go along with it, but another part of me suspected she needed to retain the illusion of control over me.

The truth was, since day one of my arrival at the rebel camp, I had been a bit of a loose cannon. Running off, convincing Dissenters to help me break command, and so on. And when it all went to hell in a handbasket, we agreed I would help her gain more support for the rebellion, but only if she helped me save my brother. We had each other by the proverbial balls and, in a super weird way, we were both playing this constant game of testing out the limits of control we had over one another. Like I said…it was weird.

The blue light of the hologram flickered. “What information were you able to gather?”

I blew out a breath. “I didn’t get a good look at it. But he’s there. You were right. He’s at Bellfire Tower.”

She was silent for a moment, a grim look on her face before she gave one curt nod. “I’m sorry, child.”

I looked away from her. I knew she already knew he was there, but I had been hanging on to hope that they had placed him someplace else. Never in a million years did I think that Belinda would allow her son—my brother and the First Son of Telvia—to be thrown into the shadows of Bellfire Tower. I had never seen it, but I heard rumors. Rumors of—

I shook my head. I didn’t want to go there right now, to let my brain play in that torturous playground. I sniffed and looked back at her.

“Will you proceed with your plan?”

My gaze hardened. “Yes.”

She cleared her throat before rolling her shoulders back. “I think you need to reconsider.”

“I’m doing this, Sasha. We had a deal.” I replied, trying so hard to maintain control of my temper. “You want your rebellion and I want my brother.”

Silence fell between us. I could just hear the wheels in her head turning before she clucked her tongue and sighed. “Very well. Were you able to retrieve any data from the Telvian computer?”

I nodded, pulling out the thumb drive and holding it out.

“Good. Be sure to deliver it to Camp Butte’s general tonight before you go to bed. We’ll discuss everything further when you make it back to Fort Warren.”

I nodded again, tucking the device back into my pocket.

“Goodnight, child. Get some rest.”

The light flickered and the hologram disappeared.

9: Weirder

The following morning, after a quick ration of something this place called cream of wheat, we were back in the Blackhawk. Wes was awake, but heavily medicated for the pain. As a result, he spent much of the ride gazing out the window, silent as the dead.

Apparently, his surgery went well. The bullet was easily removed, missed all the important stuff in his body, and he was stitched up. He was low on blood though, so a unit was ordered for him. I asked him earlier if he was in pain, but all I got was a macho grunt and a shake of the head to indicate no. I called BS on that one, but I wasn’t going to argue with him about it. I figured let him have his tough-guy exterior. It was the least I could do for him since he helped me…and against his parents’ wishes, might I add.

That was going to be a thing, no doubt about it.

The flight took all day, and by the time we arrived back in the North, the sun had already set. I watched as the city below twinkled with lights, and marveled at how different the world was outside of Telvia. I hadn’t been here long…two months, maybe?

When the world burned down back in May, the few survivors of the camp had been whisked off to a hospital in the northwest, on the border of where Telvia ended and the North began. And that’s where I woke up, discovering that I had been in a coma for weeks, fluttering in and out of the world of the living and hanging out with the dead.

Once they released me, I was sent to live with Edith to finish recovering. Her family lived out in the boonies, apparently far away from the bustling cities of the North. And I stayed there for two weeks…bored. I had little to no contact with anyone except for Edith and her family. Her parents weren’t the military type. They preferred the quiet solitude of the plains, tending to livestock.

Like real cows and goats, horses, and one mean bull.

It was the nuttiest thing to me. I had never in my life seen real farm animals before. We had no need for livestock in Telvia since we never ate actual food, just nourishment pills all the time. But they were cute. Smelly, but cute. And they were always so excited to see you once they figured out who you were...except for the bull. Turns out, he wanted to impale you with his horns. Apparently, that was a thing.

Go figure.

So I spent the month learning to care for animals, just Edith and me and her bazillion siblings. I asked her about Chelsea and learned she was at the Mental Health Institute in the city, being looked at and heavily medicated. No one understood what was wrong with her.

I asked about Wes. She shared she hadn’t heard from him. Since being released from the hospital, he’d been sent home and was MIA. And then, I asked about Matias. The look she gave me said a thousand words and then nothing at all.

He was “dealing with stuff,” according to her. They moved him to one of the military barracks, but being the closest thing Chelsea had to family, he was her main emergency contact and considered the only “living relation.” He spent most of his time divided between training and living at the Institute trying to help with her recovery. The whole thing was messed up, and it all felt so crazy and foreign to me. I just tried to stay focused on the cows.

That’s when I was summoned. Once the doctor cleared me to resume training, I received notice telling me to report back to the city. That was over a month ago, and that’s when things got really weird.

Fort Warren was a military base that belonged to the North just on the outskirts of the capital, to the far north. That’s where I went to meet Sasha. I was assigned my new mini-tab, which was a HUGE relief since the lack of technology and communication with anyone while at the farm was driving me a little cuckoo. Like, I was talking to the animals. I had given them all names. I was seconds away from having a tea party with them, which I was given a prompt education on by Edith’s five little siblings. At any rate, I was assigned a barrack, a bunk, and orders to begin training the next day.

I was even given new dog tags.

This time, however, I wasn’t being trained privately like before. I was added to a squad of twelve other faces, none of whom I recognized, and none of whom had any interest in knowing me. In fact, I was pretty sure they knew exactly who I was, and they were biding their time before they planned to lynch me in the middle of the night.

Needless to say, it really wasn’t going that well.

But then, everything shifted, and I was called in to meet with Sasha after being at the barracks for nearly a month. The meeting was comprised of her and a few other individuals, namely Gary Fisher—who I recognized as the First in Command of the North from my Review a few months prior—Sergeant Major Anthony Giza, and Wes.

My heart just about stopped when I saw him. It had been almost two months. His hair had grown longer, neatly kept in a short, low ponytail. He was clean shaven, and he smelled so damn good. I didn’t even know how to describe it, but it was sweet and deep and…masculine.

I had no idea why he had been included in the meeting. It seemed weird, and no one really explained it to me, but I slowly put it together. Since Chase died, Wes had now inherited the responsibilities of the First Son of the North. Apparently, that involved being present in these meetings.

It was then that she brought up our agreement—she would help me rescue Jacob from Telvia if I helped her secure a rebel force and encourage the people of Telvia to dissent and rise against the Telvian government. Everyone heard it. Everyone knew what I had agreed to. There was going to be no backing down. I would agree to whatever crazy plans Sasha came up with to build up the rebel forces, and then she would do everything in her power to get Jacob back.

Done.

Locked in.

Bought and paid for.

And then it all changed after that…again. Sasha agreed to the mission Wes and I had just barely survived, and I was reassigned to train with Wes to prepare for it. When Edith found out, she volunteered to help too, and she would pop in and train with us from time to time. Everyone thought we were crazy, risking everything for the general of the REG, but I didn’t care. Jacob risked everything to save me—twice—and I was hellbent on returning the gesture.

“Hey, you ready?”

My attention snapped back to the present, my head whipping around to see Wes leaning toward me, his eyes clouded from his meds. “What?” I asked.

He lifted a brow and then tipped his head toward the door behind me. “We’re here.”

I looked around and realized that we had landed. “Oh.” I had been completely lost in thought, thinking about the insanity and complete lack of familiarity of the last few months. It was truly wild to reflect on how much my life had changed in less than a year.

“Are you planning on living here, or are you going to get out?”

I gave him a quick glare and then turned away from him, crouching in the helicopter to get out. Stepping into the night, I breathed in the balmy air, feeling the humidity stick to my skin, making me feel as though I had just been wrapped up in a blanket of my own sweat. I ran the back of my hand across my forehead, feeling the perspiration gathering there.

Wes walked past me, stepping away from the slowing blades of the chopper toward a group of decorated military officers. I followed.

“Mr. Calvernon, sir. How was your flight?” The officer asked. Two silver stars decorated his lapel, letting me know he had to be a major general or something like that. I still hadn’t quite learned all the ranks and the fancy little buttons and symbols that went with each one. But I was learning… slowly.

“Fine, Major General.”

Nailed it.

“Miss de la Puente,” the man tipped his head at me. I gave a little wave. I think I was supposed to salute though, because he grimaced at me before returning his attention to Wes.

“President De’vor has asked for a meeting first thing tomorrow morning to review the information gained from the mission. She would like a report from both of you STAT.”

Wes nodded as he ran his tongue over his teeth. “Got it. Is the car here?”

“Yes, sir. Your driver is waiting for you.” Wes gave another nod. “I’m glad you arrived safely, sir.” He tipped his head and then glanced at me. “Miss de la Puente.” He turned on his heels and walked away.

I blew out a breath, rubbing my hands against my thighs. “Well, I guess you better get going before the driver thinks you bailed or something.”

Wes turned to me, his eyes liquid gold with hues of rich green mixed in, holding me in place. Despite the heat, a little shiver ran up my spine, and it took everything within me to keep from literally trembling. He kept silent, and the silence made me self-conscious, nervous. So I did what I did best when I felt uncomfortable…I looked for an exit.

“Yeah, so I won’t keep you,” I said as I turned on my heels and began walking in the general direction of my barrack. “Have a safe drive home,” I tossed over my shoulder before returning my gaze to the floor in front of me.

“So that’s it?” His voice came in so close to my ear, I literally jumped from the surprise.

“Crap!” I turned to look at him and, sure enough, he was right there, right at my back, right in my personal space. Just a wall of rippling muscles in the standard issued olive green t-shirt that we all wore. “You scared me, you jerk,” I snapped. He drew his chin to his chest, amusement playing on the lines of gorgeous face.

Ass.

I hated when he did that. “Why do you always do that to me?”

“Do what?”

I took a step back. “Get all up into my personal space and stuff. And you do it like a ninja. Just all stealth mode, and it scares the crap out of me.” I was just blubbering now. I knew it. I could feel the collection of nerves, anxiety, excitement, and uncertainty tossing themselves about in the pit of my stomach like a stampede of wild horses.

Thank god he didn’t match my steps. He allowed me to keep the space I had placed between us. I needed that space. When he was too close, it messed with my head, and it left me confused. I didn’t know what the hell was going on with me or what I felt about anyone anymore. And, in the end, I had to keep my head on straight. I needed to stay focused on saving my brother.

“Sorry,” his words came out soft and genuine, but the very right corner of his lips tipped upwards, just barely. Almost as though he was trying to hide a smile. But it was almost worse this way because that little hook on his lips gave the impression of a devious smirk, the grin of a delicious devil enjoying the reaction he got from his intended victim. And it was freaking hot.

I turned around to face away from him. I wasn’t very good at hiding my emotions, and the last thing I needed him to see was me getting ready to drool all over myself. Oh no…that was for me to know and for no one else to find out. I turned back around to face him, but not before taking another step away to give me just a smidge more breathing room. “What was it you wanted?”

He stared at me. His eyes flickering in the night as the smirk fell softly away from his face. “Nothing. Never mind.”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He shifted his gaze down to the ground, putting his hands in the pockets of his tan cargo pants. “How far is your barrack?”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know. It’s that way though,” I motioned with my hand.

“I’ll walk you.”

“What?”

“I’ll walk you,” he responded, eyes lifting back up to me.

“Um, no…no, that’s okay. You’re hurt and you probably need to get home. I’m sure your driver is waiting for you—”

“He can wait. Besides, we’ve been in that chopper for hours. It’ll be good to stretch my legs.”

Oh jeez. “No, really…I’m sure your family misses you and wants to see you.”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t mean I’m ready to see them.” The words fell from his lips, cold and somber, as his gaze unfocused.

“Oh.” I felt uncomfortable suddenly, but it only took a moment for me to realize that I felt uncomfortable for him. “Um, okay. Yeah, sure.”

Our eyes met once again, and heat swirled within me, making me feel as though I needed a fan and an ice shower. But I turned away from him, using the movement to help shake out my arms and legs. Wes came up beside me, hands still in his pockets while his eyes watched the ground before him.

And we walked.

And I didn’t think it was possible, but things got just a little weirder.

10: Lost

The base always felt deserted at night, especially after curfew. My tab told me it was eleven, and all the good little soldiers were tucked away in their beds. And yet, here I was, physically exhausted while my heart thudded in my chest like I was running a marathon.

We walked for a little while in silence. Wes stared straight ahead, hands still in his pockets, while I stared at the ground in front of me, not sure of what to do or say. It was just weird.

Ever since I was reassigned to train with Wes for our mission, our interactions had remained stiff. It was just like before, back at the rebel base, where he was incessantly bossy and moody. But it was also different. He didn’t put me down anymore or make me feel bad or like an idiot. But he didn’t compliment me either, or make small talk, or even come physically close to me if it wasn’t to grapple with me. There was nothing personal…all work and no play. The second our training ended, he’d bail…immediately. Half the time I didn’t even get a goodbye from him or a chance to say it myself.

And then there was the Admin Job, the mission we had just survived from. That had to be the chattiest I had seen him since surviving the attack at the camp. And now he wanted to walk me back to my barracks? That was just too out of character for him. He wasn’t the I’ll walk you home kind of guy. Matias was. Matias had always offered to walk me home, or help me, or just give me the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, that was before.

That’s why his refusal to help me on this mission stung so bad. It wasn’t normal for him. It wasn’t normal for us. But, then again, we weren’t really an us anymore. Edith kept trying to tell me that he still cared about me, but that Chelsea was in some crazy deep crap, and she had no one. Matias was her person, and he needed to be there to support her. And I understood, truly. I understood Matias was all about responsibility, the best for the greater good, loyalty, and honor, and blah, blah, blah. Intellectually, I understood his position and saw how all the pieces came together. But emotionally, I was hurt. I was jealous. And, truth be told, I was a little pissed off.

I knew he was doing what he believed to be the right thing, but he shot my brother, aiming to kill. Which resulted in me jumping in front of a bullet to save Jacob.

I died.

I literally died and then was brought back to find myself in the North. I wasn’t upset about him shooting me, though. I was upset that he shot Jacob. I was wrestling with it real bad. But him refusing to help on this mission took the cake. It felt like a betrayal, like he wanted me to fail. But failure meant I could have died, which left me thinking…

Did he want me to die?

Did he want out of whatever we were, but didn’t have the guts to tell me?

Was it truly over between us? Over before it ever really got started?

I shook my head, wanting to get out of my thoughts. It was all just so messed up, and I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with it. I made Jacob my focus. And every time the thoughts, the memories, the hurt, came creeping in, I just shoved them back down and reminded myself that I had one focus, one goal…and that was Jacob.

The silence was bugging me. I cleared my throat quietly and then decided to try out the small talk. “How are you feeling?”

“What?” He didn’t even look at me.

“Your wound…how’s it feeling?”

Wes kept his gaze forward for a moment before casting me a quick glance. “Not too bad.” He shifted his gaze toward the ground then, taking slow steps that felt like we were strolling through a park on the most awkward date ever. But this wasn’t a date. Not even close.

“Well, that’s good.” We took several more steps. “Thanks for helping me yesterday.”

“Mmhmm,” he mumbled.

“Seriously, I appreciate it.”

“Yup,” he replied emptily.

“You didn’t have to volunteer for it.”

“I know.”

And then silence fell between us again. Well…this was weird. And stupid. And completely ridiculous. He insisted on walking me to my barracks, only to have me dance around this bizarre awkwardness. Um, no thanks. I didn’t sign up for whatever all of this was. It was just too weird, and I was tired.

I was tired, I was achy, and I was not looking forward to rejoining a squad that kept giving me the side-eye.

So, I stopped. I stopped walking and crossed my arms, watching as he took three more steps before stopping and looking back at me over his shoulder.

He arched a brow. “What are you doing?”

I stayed silent for once, giving him a taste of his own moody medicine.

His brows knitted together as he turned around to face me. “Are you planning on sleeping on the ground tonight or what?”

I tipped my head back and just stood there, hip cocked out, serious lines all over my face. I channeled my inner Chelsea and made sure I matched his attitude as best as I could.

He pulled his hands out of his pockets, crossing them over his chest, biceps bulging. And that sent a flush of warmth throughout my body that caused my heart to quicken and spurred the desire to touch them…just a little. Just to see if they were as smooth and firm and tight as they appeared, stretching the fabric of his shirt, leaving me a little weak in the—

Get a grip, Mara! Get. A. Grip.

Why did he always have this effect on me? I straightened my back, trying to hide the rush of hormones coursing through me. And then it was on—the moody stare down where we both locked gazes and did our best to hide what was going on inside of us from the other person. Sometimes I liked to pretend we were playing a game. The only problem was, I was super bad at it. But tonight was different. Maybe it was because he was on some good drugs, but tonight he broke the silence first.

“Mara, what are you doing?” His voice held the hint of his familiar growl, but mostly, he just sounded tired.

I went for it. “I’m trying to tell you how much I appreciate what you did for me yesterday—”

“I heard you,” he cut me off.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“That!” I pointed to him, exasperation consuming me. “That thing you do where it’s all short responses or no responses at all. I hate that.”

He took in a deep breath, his head rolling backwards as he closed his eyes. “Come on, Mara, let’s just get you back so—”

“Don’t do that either. Don’t try to shut me down because I’m not willing to play this weird, bullshit, tiptoe dance we’ve been doing for the past several weeks.”

His head rolled forward, brow arched. “Tiptoe dance?”

“Yes!” I rubbed my eyes as I let out a quick sigh. Then I looked at him again, dropping my hands to my side. His expression was blank, but his eyes showed me he was listening. “Wes, I’m trying to tell you that I appreciate you helping me. When no one else was willing to go, you did, and I don’t know how I would have done it without you, okay? And I really appreciate it.”

He remained quiet, part of his face shadowed in the dark as his eyes flickered with emotions I couldn’t read.

I sighed again. “Are you going to say something?”

He grunted, body stiff and unyielding. “Is there something specific you’re looking for?”

“I don’t know…something,” I urged.

“Fine. You’re welcome.”

Silence fell between us again, and Wes stood like a perfectly sexy marble statue. This wasn’t what I was looking for. I wanted a conversation, some real talk, but all I was getting were these short little answers. It was like he had built a wall up—one so high I just couldn’t climb. And it was frustrating and confusing as all hell. I mean, did he want something to do with me? Were we friends?

I groaned. I knew I shouldn’t have even tried. “You know what, never mind.” I waved a hand at him, motioning for him to go. “Just…just go home. Thanks for walking me.” I turned on my heels, waving a hand in the air back at him. “See you around.”

I took several steps, and then I felt pressure on my right shoulder, pulling me back.

“Mara…” I turned to see Wes, only a foot away from me, his hand on my shoulder, holding me in place until I was facing him. And then he dropped it to his side.

I looked up, catching his eye, and all the warmth came fluttering back up, low in my body as my stomach churned, making me feel slightly nauseous. I swallowed, trying to choke down the anxiety clawing its way up inside me. But I stayed quiet. It was my turn to be the stoic one.

His eyes shimmered, alive and vibrant. “What do you want from me?” It wasn’t caustic, or bitter, or angry, or anything like that. It was a genuine question, and I could feel this underlying tension, this need, that his question invoked. But I didn’t understand it.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. And I realized…I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know what I expected from him. All I knew was I…I was lost. I closed my eyes and looked away, my fingers coming to my lips as I chewed on my thumbnail. I had no response for him. “I don’t know.”

His eyes flickered, his gaze intent on mine, and I could feel everything within me tensing up, the anxiety piling high.

And then…

It all collapsed.

He dropped his gaze and gave me a weak smile that lacked emotion. Taking several steps back from me, his hands returned to his pockets. “Let me know when you figure it out.” Wes turned, giving me his back, and walked away.

I was left standing there, mouth agape, riddled with confusion and unease. And, for some reason, I got the feeling that what I was trying to figure out was not the same thing Wes was talking about. For some reason, I got the feeling that the issue we were dancing around was something big, and I had a sneaky suspicion Wes knew something that I didn’t.

And that part scared me.

11: Bait and Switch

Itossed and turned in my bunk all night, feeling the unease pooling within me. And when I finally fell asleep, five in the morning came too quickly and I had to get up, get dressed, and report to the mess hall if I wanted any chance of breakfast. But I didn’t get the chance. No sooner was I dressed when my tab binged with a message telling me I needed to report to the Situation Room for debriefing.

Of course…

I wasn’t surprised, but I felt so tired and groggy, and my stomach growled in hunger. I was more irritated than anything. My mind kept replaying my exchange with Wes the night before, and I hoped he wouldn’t be reporting in with me.

The walk to the Situation Room was nothing to get excited about. Fort Warren was unremarkable, looking more like a concrete jungle, with rows and rows of boxy concrete buildings, concrete sidewalks, and asphalt. Lots of asphalt. Cracks in the cement allowed for spindly weeds or shoots of grass to grow. That was one of the biggest differences between the North and Telvia—vegetation. Telvia had none of it. It was all ripped out to reduce water usage because of The Great Drought that ended over twenty years ago. But that narrative didn’t suit Raúl’s needs. It didn’t keep people in line.

And he needed them in line. He needed to retain control. And to retain control, he lied to them, kept them living in fear that there wasn’t enough for everyone.

Not enough water.

Not enough food.

Not enough resources.

Not enough.

But the North was different. Following the Great Drought and the last civil war, after the weather stabilized, weeds started to grow. Dandelions, crabgrass, milkweed…and the fields turned green again. The dying forests regained their former strength, and the animals returned. Bugs first, of course, but then the birds. The birds migrated back from wherever they had sought solace. Then little rodents seeking seeds, followed by larger game. Then the predators: foxes, coyotes, wolves, bears. The world slowly returned to normal, Mother Nature having reset the natural balance that was vital to support life.

As the world returned to its former state, the North embraced old customs that were once so important to sustain civilization. They began to farm again, to grow fruits and vegetables, to raise cows, pigs, and chickens. They brought back old luxuries, like beer and cookies. I still didn’t know what a cupcake was, but I imagined it was something like a cookie since it involved baking. Edith taught me how to bake while I lived with her for those few months. We only did it once because many of the ingredients required to bake were still expensive and scarce. But if a cupcake was anything like a cookie, I really wanted one.

Despite Fort Warren being dull, the Situation Room was a little better. It sported white walls with images of military aircraft, pictures of troops standing at attention, and the Calvernon Family Crest on a flag. A wooden, rectangular table sat in the middle of the space, polished so pristinely that it would have reflected a perfect mirror image of the ceiling if the little black hologram box wasn’t sitting in the middle. Ten chairs bordered it. The far end of the room also contained a screen that consumed the entire wall, and a projector hung from the ceiling. As I stepped inside, I saw Sasha, Giza, Fisher, and—damn it—Wes.

“Mara, come join us,” Sasha greeted me, her voice cool and collected.

“Good morning, Miss de la Puente,” Giza said as he tipped his head. He was Sasha’s righthand, which was probably why he literally sat to her right, on the left side of the room. He was the Sergeant Major of the Dissenter forces, and I liked him. Unlike Sasha, Giza was always a straight shot. You always knew what you were getting with him, and I appreciated that so much, especially coming from Telvia: the city of lies. Giza had to be in his sixties, with salted strands consuming most of his former black hair and goatee. But no amount of aging could take away the beautifully deep chocolate color of his skin. He was strong and firm. An excellent leader—Dissenters followed his command without question—and he was kind.

On the opposite side of the table sat Gary Fisher, First in Command of the North, and he did nothing but grimace. He was also an older man, roughly in his seventies and closer to Sasha’s age, with wisps of gray hair combed back stiffly. I assumed hair gel was involved, though I couldn’t imagine why he bothered since he was practically bald. He rarely had anything helpful to say, and mostly asked questions rather than give any input. Wes sat next to him, and he didn’t even turn to look at me.

Here we go again…hot, cold, hot, cold. I blew out a breath. “Hi,” I mumbled. My stomach twisted and grumbled softly. Jeez, I was freaking hungry. I had a bad habit of skipping meals. Without having someone like Edith always carting me around everywhere, I always forgot to eat until my stomach had contorted itself into a pretzel—which I had one time. They’re delicious.

“Sit, child.” I took the seat closest to me, which placed me at the far end of the table, furthest away from the screen on the opposite wall. “Sergeant Major, would you please get us started?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said as he stood. The lights flickered momentarily and then turned off as the projector clicked on and illuminated the room with its soft light. “Two days ago, our team broke into the Administrative Building to collect information on the whereabouts of the fugitive, Jacob de la Puente.”

An image of my brother, dressed in his formal REG uniform, flashed on the screen. The sight of him made my heart spasm in my chest. He looked so handsome with his lightly tanned skin, blond hair trimmed short, and blue eyes. He looked so much like Belinda, and nothing like his father…our father.

“Intel gathered from the mission revealed that Mr. de la Puente is being held at Bellfire Tower. The data gathered by Miss de la Puente revealed his cellblock information, a map of the facility, and the location of the tower.”

“Excellent,” Sasha stated flatly.

My lungs ached, and I suddenly realized I was holding my breath. I closed my eyes for a second, and slowly released the air. I really didn’t know how much information I got from the computer. I just knew I had no time, and I wasn’t sure which files would give me what I needed, so I just kept copying and saving as much as I could before all hell broke loose.

Giza nodded. “For the first time, we have the location of the tower. Good work, team.”

I flicked my eyes to Wes, but he still refused to look at me, keeping his eyes locked on Giza. I exhaled again and returned my gaze to the graying general.

Giza peeked at me before shifting his weight, clearing his throat, and looking away. “The intel also revealed more information…” He hesitated, lips parted as if considering his next words carefully.

Unease pooled in my belly as I kept my sight on Giza and asked, “What? What is it?”

He looked away before clicking the remote he held in his hand. The image of my brother shifted, replaced by a series of names and dates. It was a list. A list of men and women with a date written right next to each one. The dates were all in the future. Some were only a few days away, and some were months from now. Eighth from the top was my brother, and next to his name the date read November 5.

“What’s that? Why are all those names up there? Why’s his name up there?” The questions tumbled out of me in quick succession.

Giza cleared his throat again, shifting his weight. “This…this is a list of inmates at the tower. If what we understand from the data you retrieved is correct, this is a list of execution dates.”

My jaw dropped, my eyes growing wide. “No…”

“I’m afraid so, child.” Sasha stood from her chair, her eyes set on me. “It seems Raúl has committed to murdering his own son in order to regain control of the Telvian people. And with us already being at the end of August, two months is hardly enough time to prepare for a rescue mission to the tower.”

“What?” I couldn’t believe what she was saying. There was no way. “You have to. Two months is plenty of time—”

“My dear, I understand you adore your brother, but Bellfire Tower has never been breached before. Until today, we didn’t even know its location. We have no knowledge of the terrain, defense systems, or any moles on the inside who could assist us. We are horribly underpowered and unprepared—”

I stood up this time, anger fueled by the fear threatening to take over. “You promised. Is this the kind of leader you’re going to be? One that plays games of bait and switch?”

“Careful, Mara,” Giza cautioned.

“No, you be careful,” I spat back at him. “I’m tired of this bullshit!”

“Miss de la Puente!” Fisher snapped at me.

“Gentlemen,” Sasha cut in. “Please excuse me and Miss de la Puente. I believe there are a few things she and I must come into an agreement with.”

Everyone looked at one another, except for Wes. His face was a cool mask of hidden emotions as he sat with his arms crossed against his chest. His eyes continued to avoid me. Giza bowed his head briefly before giving me one of those you better behave looks. Fisher stood as well, tipping his head at Sasha, while Wes got up and walked out, never looking back at me or the President of the Free People.

And then we were alone.

My stomach twisted into a nasty knot, threatening to vomit bile from the empty pit. I already knew this wasn’t going to be good.

Sasha sat back down, her hair braided and wrapped on her head in a bun. She wore an elegant, tan colored dress suit with a white blouse. It was all simple, but the simplicity somehow made it beautiful on her. I, on the other hand, had little choice. My attire for the past six months since being kidnapped and joining the rebels had consisted of my cadet uniform—deep tan cargo pants, standard issued black boots, and olive-green t-shirt. My clothing varied only during training or on missions. That’s when I wore the skintight black jumpsuit or full combat gear. But today, it was the t-shirt and cargo pants.

They weren’t flattering. Not even a little bit.

“Sit, child.” Her tone was curt and sharp, and it was clear she wasn’t suggesting I sit. It was an order. But I really didn’t care about what she wanted. I was too pissed off. She had been looking for excuses not to fulfill her end of the bargain since she made it with me months ago. I had been pushing back on her ever since, and she was growing tired of it. Sasha had a lot of patience, but I suspected the grace she had been giving me was running out.

I couldn’t blame her, though. In truth, Sasha had been good to me. Real good. For the first time in my life, I was given the power of choice. I savored real food, discovered a vast new world I never thought existed, and even got my first real kiss. And when I exercised my own voice, explored my anger, tried on what it felt like to be defiant or say no, I didn’t have to fear being beaten for my insolence. I was finding that there were more parts to me than I realized. I wasn’t just a scared little girl anymore who was always hurt and lonely. There was more to me than that. I had anger and jealousy and hate and friendship and love and hope.

Yes, Sasha had been good to me. The Dissenters had been good to me. And they had done so much more than just save my life—they gave me my life. Because what I was doing before, how I was living in Telvia…I knew now that wasn’t living.

But Sasha was another politician. And even though she had been good to me, I was struggling to trust her, to believe everything she told me was the truth. I had spent my entire life being controlled, blindly following orders, and accepting everything my father ever told me without question, and it cost me greatly. I wasn’t about to make the same mistake again. I couldn’t afford to. Because this time, my brother’s life hung in the balance of it all.

So even though I truly respected her and everything she was trying to do for the people of Telvia, I remained standing. Not out of disrespect, but as a reminder that I wasn’t going to back down from this. I wasn’t going to give up on saving my brother. His life mattered, and he was worth fighting for.

She narrowed her eyes at me, and the gesture sent a cool tremor through me. “Very well. If you wish to remain standing, that is your choice.” She reached for the remote Giza had left on the table, clicked a few buttons, and the light in the room turned on while the projector clicked off. I blinked several times, my eyes trying to adjust to the bright light in the room. She took a deep breath, folding her hands on the table before setting her gaze on me. “Now, I understand wanting to save your brother, and I can understand your frustration with me, but you must be reasonable.”

I squared my shoulders. “Is it so unreasonable for me to expect someone to follow through on their promises?”

“I have been doing everything in my power—”

“No, you haven’t, Sasha,” I snapped. “You threw me on a farm with no information on what you were planning or trying to do. Then you summon me here and tell me that there’s no supporting information about my brother’s location, only a rumor. You give me some excuse about how we can’t risk breaking into Admin, and then you do everything you can to prevent me from going on that mission.” I lifted my hand, counting down each item. “I had to gather my own team, gather my own intel, secure my own transport, and everything else. You did nothing. And now, you’re looking for the first excuse you can find to try and bail out of saving him. So, forgive me if I’m having a hard time believing you and your perception of doing everything you can.” I exhaled sharply, feeling my frustration rise, my anger bubbling over.

Sasha sat quietly, her tongue running over her teeth and then clucking in her mouth before she finally spoke. “I can see how my actions appear to you. I understand.” She cleared her throat softly.

“You can?”

“Yes. Perhaps it’s time I should explain that rescuing Jacob is not a priority for this rebellion.” I opened my mouth to speak, but she held her hand out to silence me. “Let me finish, child.”

I snapped it closed.

“The Dissenters stand in a precarious situation. The attack at our camp was a serious blow, and it left us with little resources. Thankfully, the North has been a generous ally, and they have been supplementing us ever since the attack.” She took a deep breath before looking at me. “How much do you know about the Civil Wars?”

I considered the question. “I know a little…mostly what they taught us in the academy.”

“Ah yes…the Telvian version of history. Then you know some, but not all. Perhaps it is time for you to learn a little more to gain a better understanding of what we are doing here.”

My curiosity piqued. I really knew nothing about the wars, only that they happened. But Sasha’s comment about the Telvian version of history made me wonder if the story I knew was the real story at all, or if it was another form of deception thrown on the Telvian people to keep them loyal to Raúl.

“I recommend you sit for this part, child. The history of the UFA is not a pretty one.”

12: Schemes

This time, I took her recommendation and sat. Sasha cleared her throat, breathing deeply, and then began.

“During the Great Drought, the country that was once the United States broke out into chaos. The divide between federal power versus the power of the states grew into such turmoil that the government collapsed and the second civil war, known as the Division War, broke out. Each state fought for its share of dwindling resources. Smaller states banned together, while many of the larger states fought for their own independence. In the end, the war caused the entire country to divide itself into four factions—the North, South, East, and West. Yes?”

I nodded, acknowledging I knew this part.

She gave a soft nod in response and continued. “The Senate and the House of Representatives was disbanded. It was a broken system that no longer worked with the divide at the time. Instead, each faction voted on a representative who acted as the president of that faction. Those elected leaders formed the Council of the United Factions. Philip Calvernon—Wes’s grandfather—was voted for the North. Mary Smith for the South, Johnathan Laurence for the East, and my brother, Derek, for the West.”

What? Sasha had a sibling who was one of the original council members? My shock must have been written all over my face because she paused for a moment, giving me time to process the information before she continued.

“As time pressed on and the drought continued, the weather worsened, becoming more violent and unpredictable. The Council struggled to make decisions because everyone was too focused on what was best for their specific faction versus what would be best for all involved. Alliances between regions were fickle at best. And, if I am to speak truthfully, our governments functioned more like monarchies than a republic or a democracy. Once each ruling family had power, nobody wanted to lose it.” She shook her head, eyes glassing over, before she let out a long sigh. “Power has that effect on people, I’m afraid.” She shifted in her seat, blinking a few times before she returned her attention to me.

“Derek was a fair ruler—a monarch—but a fair ruler, nonetheless. He could have been better, though, and there came a time when the people of the West wanted a new president. But my brother refused to give up his seat, and no matter how much I counseled him, he just didn’t listen. Talk of revolution sprung up among the people, and slowly Derek lost favor with his constituents. That, child, is when Raúl de la Puente came into power.”

My whole body tensed at the mention of my father. Never had I heard the full story…especially not in Telvia. In Telvia, the history books told the tale of a hero who stood up against a tyrant and reintroduced democracy to a war-torn land. I was seeing that it wasn’t all a lie, but it wasn’t all true either—a careful entanglement of myth and reality.

Sasha methodically rubbed her hands together as she pressed on. “Raúl led a military coup in the West. He was a brilliant strategist—just phenomenal in his understanding of military tactics. He was young then, maybe twenty-five at most. But he had the respect of every general in my brother’s army. It was just all too easy for him to take over…all in one silent night of infinite screaming and horror that I don’t think I will ever forget.” Sasha’s eyes glistened, unfocused, as though her mind had wandered into the past. “I escaped that night. I fled to the South, but my brother and his family never made it out.”

I pressed my fingers to my parted lips.

“Shortly after the West was lost, Raúl’s talks of freedom and democracy spread across the UFA like wildfire, and people across the remaining three regions were intrigued. Raúl called for people to rise against their kings and queens that called themselves presidents.” A pained smile consumed her lips, never reaching her eyes. “He wasn’t wrong, child. That’s the worst part. The Council of the UFA had indeed become monarchical, and that truth sang in the hearts of the people. They rose up. The entire UFA was thrown into chaos, into a third civil war—”

“The Loyal War,” I interrupted.

Sasha nodded. “Yes, the Loyal War. The war between faction loyalists and Raúl’s rebels.”

I didn’t think my mouth could open any wider. Once upon a time, Raúl had been the rebel. My how the tables had turned.

“As you already know, we feared Raúl’s intentions of conquering the South. Your mother promised you to Chase Calvernon in exchange for aid to the South, but they never made it in time. Raúl invaded, and your mother and I fled north when the region was taken. President Smith, I’m afraid, was not so lucky. Just like my family, Raúl had Mary executed, along with her entire line of descendants.”

“Oh my god…”

“Yes,” she spoke somberly, “it was awful. A true loss…” Sasha shifted her gaze, but not before I caught the glint of moisture in her eyes. “My brother was a good man, Mara. Confused, perhaps, but a good man. And unlike Derek, Mary was truly wonderful for her people…” She paused, her lips slipping into a frown, “and she was a good friend.”

I was shocked. I had no idea that Raúl had slaughtered an entire generation of two different families to ensure they could never challenge his rule. And I had no idea that Sasha’s brother had been the ruler of an entire faction, either. No wonder she was hellbent on dethroning Raúl. He betrayed the original council members, murdered her friends and family, and took away her entire region! It all made sense. Everything slipped into place, each piece of the puzzle clarifying the story further until I really understood what was happening.

At least half of the Telvian people were once Westerners…people who had voted Sasha’s family into power, depended on their judgment, relied on their leadership. Raúl’s actions meant that the De’vor’s failed their people. And now, they suffered under the hands of a tyrant.

I wasn’t stupid. I knew what this was all really about. Sasha wanted her faction back. What’s more, she wanted revenge. And if there was one thing I had learned from Belinda, it was that revenge and power were superb motivators.

“I-I’m sorry, Sasha. I didn’t know.”

She blinked her eyes softly, clearing the moisture as she pursed her lips, obviously trying her best to keep control of her emotions. “Yes, well, now you do.”

I rubbed my brow, history echoing in my mind. “Sasha, when Raúl took over the southwest, what happened after that?”

Her gaze flickered to me, the gentle wrinkles of her face crinkling as she grimaced. “You were born in the South, did you know that?”

My eyes widened. “What?”

She nodded, pursing her lips. “I was there when you were born, child. A cool spring night—I’ll never forget it—and your mother fought hard to bring you into this world.” Her eyes glistened with emotion. Then she shook her head once more. “When Raúl took control of the South, that’s when you were taken from your mother. She fought hard, but she was horribly outnumbered, and I made her leave you behind. It was the only way.”

My mother. A woman I never met and always thought had abandoned me on my father’s doorstep, had actually been a rebel. And she didn’t abandon me…I was taken from her. Taken by Raúl. Why? No one knew. But I was stolen from her, and now she was believed to be dead. I worked my jaw, trying hard to suppress the sting of unshed tears in my throat.

Sasha folded her hands on the table, straightening her back. “After that, your father set his sights on the North, but they managed to keep him at bay. And so, we find ourselves here.”

I pressed my lips together, trying to muscle the flood of painful emotions under control.

“This might come as a surprise to you, child, but the North does not aid this rebellion out of sheer good will. They fear that Raúl’s incessant need for power will drive him into another attempt to conquer the North again. And our allies to the east know that if the North should fall, they have no hope of surviving a war against Raúl.”

Sasha leaned back in her chair, folding her hands on her lap. “You see, child, human beings are motivated by wealth, power, survival, and revenge. It’s that simple. Don’t ever make the mistake I made all those years ago and think that people will sacrifice themselves or their positions simply because they care.” She leaned forward, her voice portentous. “There is always a deeper motive.”

My stomach twisted, and I suddenly felt itchy on the inside, shifting in my chair uncomfortably. I understood Sasha’s position, but I didn’t like it. It didn’t feel right, and it left a sour taste in my mouth. I attempted to change the subject.

“So why did you tell me all this? What does this have to do with my brother?”

Sasha tipped her head softly, acknowledging the question before rolling her shoulders back and facing me straight on. “I tell you this story because I want you to fully understand our position in the rebellion. The attack on our base was disastrous, and it left the Dissenters with nothing to offer the North. Whatever leverage we had to secure their aid is now gone. By the grace of god, they continue to assist us, but I must tread carefully in how I utilize their resources. If my propositions leave nothing to be gained for them, then it is highly doubtful they would agree to it.

“Unfortunately, saving your brother is a priority only you and I share, but it does little to assist the North. In fact, until now, your brother has been nothing but a hardship to the Calvernon family. They lost their first son, and their second went against their wishes on a mission with odds stacked highly against us. Retrieving the data from Telvian Administration was a monumental risk. As far as our Northern counterparts are concerned, it was an unnecessary one.”

Raptors soared through my belly, twisting, turning, tumbling about, making me sick to my stomach.

Sasha watched me closely, observing my every move. “Rescuing your brother from the tower is an impossibility. Bellfire Tower has never been breached. I made you a promise to assist in whatever way I could, but you forget that I have little I can do without the resources the North provides me.”

I swallowed, my throat dry and scratchy. “So that’s it? We’re just giving up?”

“I’m sorry, child.”

I leaned back in my chair, jaw slack as my gaze came to rest on my open palms. The ointment had done wonders to heal the burns, but I could still make out the healing lines. Did I really do all of it for nothing? Did I sacrifice my life—Wes’s life—for nothing? No…no, I wasn’t going to accept this. I didn’t come this far just to be told we wouldn’t even try.

Absolutely not.

“No.”

Her brows drew forward. “Pardon me?”

“No,” I repeated a little louder, firmer. “You promised me that if I played along and did what you asked, you would save my brother. I’ve done my part, Sasha, and now I expect you to do yours.”

“Miss de la Puente, my hands are tied—”

“I’m not accepting that answer, Sasha.” I stood up, curling my hands into fists. “With or without you, I’m going to recuse my brother. Even if I have to do it alone. But if I go and die, I won’t be of anymore use to you, will I? So you can either help me save my brother, or you can let me do it alone. But you and I both know that if I go alone, I’m probably never coming back alive.”

Sasha had the best freaking poker face in the world. She looked calm—relaxed—sitting at the table with her hands folded and perfect posture. Time ticked for several heartbeats—one, two, three—and then Sasha cleared her throat.

“Well then, I can see that you are quite determined. I can only imagine how all this may appear to you, but I warned you that day that you would need to do whatever I said in order to get your brother back.”

I arched my brow. “Yeah, I remember.”

“And you agreed, yes?”

I nodded, crossing my arms.

“To breach the tower will mean resources I do not have. But…our friends here in the North do.”

My stomach twisted with anxiety. Why did I get the feeling I wasn’t going to like where she was going with this?

“In order to convince the North to utilize those resources to save your brother, it will need to benefit them in the end. To do that, we need to offer them something in exchange for their assistance.”

I felt the nausea clawing in my belly, my heart picking up the tempo as an ominous feeling filled me like dark tar that weighed me down. “What are you planning, Sasha? What are you going to give them?” I had no clue what schemes she was concocting, but something told me I wasn’t going to like it.

Silence clawed at my senses, and I swore I could hear air swooshing around. Resting her hands on the table, Sasha rose to her full height, which wasn’t much more than my own five feet and five inches. Her eyes revealed nothing, but the lines of her face were hard, revealing none of the usual softness that they often held when she regarded me.

“I told you that human beings are motivated by wealth, power, survival, and revenge. The Calvernons will need to know that rescuing Jacob de la Puente will result in their survival, increased wealth and power, or revenge for the death of their son.”

“Well, how the hell are we going to do that? I don’t have a penny to my name. I’m sure as hell not powerful, and there’s no way I can guarantee their safety or grant them revenge. I have nothing to offer them.”

“That, child, is where you’re wrong. Rescuing Jacob holds the promise of increasing our chances of winning this war. As general of the REG, your brother will have intel that would take us years to obtain.”

“So we tell them that Jacob can help them win the war?”

“Yes, but it won’t be enough. Marissa Calvernon is a very unforgiving woman, and a mother’s wrath is not easily quelled. She wants revenge against the de la Puente family, and the only thing that will satisfy her is an eye for an eye. Raúl executed the First Son of the North. She has every intention of having the First Son of Telvia share the same fate.”

“Jesus…” The image of Chase melting as the flames consumed him resurfaced in my mind, causing the nausea to spike. It was an image that still haunted my nightmares, and it took everything within me to beat the imagery back. I couldn’t allow my brother to share the same fate. “So money? I don’t have any.”

“No, child, you do not. Nor would all the money in the world satisfy Marissa’s need for vengeance.”

“Well, what then?” My volume rose a few decibels. This was getting old, and I was hungry as all hell, and all I wanted to know was what I had to do to get my brother back.

Sasha clasped her hands elegantly in front of her. “You might not have wealth, child, or be able to guarantee safety and security to the North. But you have one card left to play, my dear, and it is a very good one.”

My chest tightened. The anxiety of not knowing what the hell I had just signed up for made it hard for me to take a single breath. “What are you promising them, Sasha?”

“You.”

And then my world collapsed.

13: Promised

Isat in an open field, eyes gazing at the tree line across the field but not actually seeing it. It was nothing but a blur of dark green brush strokes rising from the golden hues of meadow grasses. Fort Warren was forgotten behind me as I chewed my nails, trying to calm my frazzled nerves.

Promised.

It wasn’t the first time I had been promised to someone. My mother had promised me to Chase Calvernon in an effort to secure an army from the North and solidify an alliance in the last war. But when Chase died, my obligation to marry him once I was of age disappeared, and I was free to make my own choices about who I wanted to marry.

An image of Matias came to mind—his deeply tanned skin, dark brown hair and matching eyes, along with his sweet, boyish smile that always caused my heart to melt. I had met him at the rebel camp—my personal security detail. And we grew close…super close. Complete with locked lips, wandering hands, and a fiery desire that threatened to consume me whole.

But things were weird between us. He was spending all his time caring for his ex-girlfriend at the Institute on the account that she had gone postal the night of the Telvian attack. I hadn’t seen him for months. We exchanged some texts back and forth, but they felt stiff and unnatural. Nothing like the flirty vibes and playful teases back at the rebel camp. And some part of me wondered if our shared interests in one another burned that night…the same night he tried to kill my brother but shot me instead.

It was…it was heavy.

And now this?

Sasha had laid it out very clearly for me. Before even asking me, she had discussed with Charles Calvernon the possibility of renewing the promise my mother had made to the Calvernons. But this time, I would be promised to Wes.

Charles would ensure aid to the rebellion and attempt a rescue operation for my brother, but in exchange, I would marry the First Son of the North. Our union meant that the Calvernon family stood to gain new territory as part of the agreement. The South would be awarded to the Calvernons, making the UFA a collection of three factions instead of four. It seemed crazy to me…overwhelming, really. But as Sasha tried explaining, I was the First Daughter of Telvia. In the UFA’s culture of monarchs disguised as presidents, I was a modern-day princess. My marriage to Wes meant the North would become the biggest faction, with the most land, resources, and population.

Apparently, Charles liked these terms very much.

Wealth.

Power.

Survival.

It was all there, just like Sasha told me. The only thing missing was revenge. But I was the bargaining chip. And now I was stuck with no idea of what to do. My brother’s life hung on the edge, hinging on two simple words: I do. And the worst part was, I didn’t know if I could go through with it.

I just kept thinking about Matias.

What would he think?

Would he even care?

Or was he too consumed with Chelsea, devoting himself to her and all her needs?

And then, another thought—perhaps the most important—Wes.

Did he know this whole time? Was that why things had been so weird between us? And if he did know, was he…happy about it? Or was he revolted at the thought of being stuck with me for the rest of his life?

And I…I was confused. Was it weird that my heart skipped when Sasha said I would be promised to Wes? Did that mean that I liked him?

I shook my head, feeling my stomach roil, and I just couldn’t choke it down. I leaned over to the side and dry heaved before finally spitting up bile and stomach acid into the grass. My stomach muscles clenched and released, rolling spasms consuming my body. After a minute, my muscles relaxed, the tension slowly releasing as exhaustion swept through me, sweat peppering my brow.

“Holy crap. You okay?”

“Huh?” I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, turning to see who had shown up. Surprise and glee washed through me when I saw sleek black hair, alabaster skin, and delicate almond-shaped eyes. “Edith!” I started to shift to my feet, but she placed a hand on my shoulder, holding me in place.

“Whoa now. You just hurled up the nasty, so let’s not move around just yet.” She started to sit down and then thought better of it. “Why don’t we scoot down just a little…” My brows arched momentarily until I remembered I had just upchucked stomach acid next to myself.

I scooted over a few feet and watched as Edith’s long limbs, porcelain doll features, and exotic gorgeousness sat next to me. “When did you get in?” I asked, wrapping my arms around her in a hug.

“A few hours ago,” she pulled back. “It was all of five minutes after they had you guys on the chopper that I got reassigned. You know how it is…if you’re not training, you’re off doing crazy shit. No rest for the wicked,” she added with a wink.

I nodded in agreement. Life in the North was different from the rebel base. At the base, we were all together in one location, so we were always bumping into each other, sharing meals, and training together. But here, there were bases all over the damn place, so people were constantly being assigned, reassigned, shifted, and moved. It was actually pretty annoying.

“How’s Wes?”

I froze. What a loaded question. “He’s…fine.”

“Uh huh.” She arched a brow, casting a quick glance at the vomit puddle. “Really? So, you gonna tell me what happened? Or should I just assume I know what’s going on and start a bunch of rumors?”

I glanced at her, mouth opened to speak, but I didn’t even know where to start. I blew out a breath as I looked down at my hands, picking at my cuticles. But she was patient, and she sat quietly as I tried to wrap my head around everything that had just transpired over the last three hours. Taking a deep breath, I decided to just go for it. “I’m Wes’s promised.”

“What?” And then Edith started choking, coughing, slapping her chest. I quickly patted her back.

“Are you okay?”

She coughed, but nodded her head. “Yeah”—cough, cough, cough—“I’m fine”—cough, cough. After a moment, she inhaled deeply, her eyes glistening with tears as she tried to regain control of her breathing. “Sorry about that.”

“What was that?”

“Spit. As in, you just dumped the juiciest, effing news I’ve ever freaking heard, and I choked on my own spit. Holy crap…” she cleared her throat, tapping her chest a few more times. “You wanna tell me what the hell is going on?”

So I did. I told her everything. How my brother was in the tower, and how Sasha needed a bargaining chip to convince the North to help the Dissenters. And I explained that she discussed my hand in marriage with Charles Calvernon to seal the deal and garner their support.

“That’s BS!” she called out. “Sasha can’t do that. She doesn’t have any right to promise you to anyone. I can’t believe that.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “I don’t know, Edith. All I know is she told him I would marry Wes in exchange for all this other stuff.”

“Baloney. She’s making you think that you’re locked in, but you’re not.”

“What?”

“It doesn’t make any sense. How can she promise you when she doesn’t have any blood ties to you? She doesn’t have the right to promise you to anyone. You have a choice. This isn’t Telvia. You get to pick who you want to marry, or if you want to marry at all.”

I looked away, staring off across the open field at the tree line. Did I really have a choice? Was this just a manipulative trick from Sasha to get me to do what she wanted so she could continue her war against Raúl? I shook my head. I really didn’t know what to believe. But then, “Does it really make a difference?”

“Come again, amiga?” Edith’s eyes were huge, and she looked at me like I had grown a third arm.

I blinked, lips parted as I tried to hang onto the thought in my head. “Does it make a difference whether or not she has the right to promise me? Does it really matter if I have a choice?”

“Um…” Edith looked around. “Are you talking to me or are you trying to prank some fool I don’t see? Of course it matters!”

“Does it?” I insisted. “Whether she can or can’t, or whether I choose or not, the end result is still the same, Edith. If I want to save my brother, then I need help from the North. I can’t do it by myself. I need help. It doesn’t really matter who promised what, it’s the same result in the end. Marrying Wes means I get a chance at saving my brother. How I get there doesn’t really matter because it’s the same no matter what. End of story.”

“But it does matter, Mara.” Edith stood up, turning around to face me. “It does. I get what you’re saying about your brother but think about this for a minute.”

“I am thinking about it, Edith. Can’t you see that I’m freaking out about this?” I rose to my feet. “I have to marry someone in order to save my brother’s life. That’s crazy! Whether or not Sasha makes me do it is inconsequential.”

“Of course it is,” she insisted, throwing her arms out in exasperation. “No one can make you do anything!”

What was happening? Was she…? “Are you mad at me?”

“No! Well, maybe…I don’t know.” She dropped her face into her hands and then slid her hands down her face, pulling at her skin. “I’m not mad at you…not necessarily. This is just—ugh! I don’t know! It just feels like if you let Sasha tell you who to marry, then are we really any better than Telvia?”

“What?” That made no sense.

She pumped her hands into fists at her side, eyes wild. “Raúl tells you who you can marry, right?” I nodded. “But we don’t do that here. We’re free to make those kinds of choices for ourselves. If you let Sasha get away with betrothing you when she doesn’t have a right to do that, then…how are we any better than them? Than the Telvians?”

I started muttering to myself. “This makes zero sense to me—”

“How do you not see it?”

“See what?” I finally snapped back. I had no fuse, no emotional reserves, no bandwidth to do the mental gymnastics that Edith was trying to push out of me. ZERO. “All I see is that my brother’s life is at stake.”

“Jesus,” she muttered, running her hand through her hair before looking back at me. But this time, I didn’t see anger. I saw concern. “What about Matias? What about him and what you guys had?”

I felt all the energy dissipate from my body.

She took a step toward me, tone softening. “And what about Wes? What about what’s fair to him?”

I blinked. “What…what do you mean?”

I watched the sadness seep into Edith’s eyes as her lips tipped into a frown. “They care about you, Mara. Can’t you see that? They both care about you.” My chest tightened as I gasped at her words. “Don’t you see? It totally matters whether or not Sasha has the right to promise you because she doesn’t. You’re the only one that can choose which one of them you want to be with. But who you choose matters because one of them is going to end up hurt.”

I couldn’t do this. She was wrong. She was totally wrong. “First off, that’s ridiculous. Wes and I are friends. He doesn’t like me that way—”

“Oh god,” Edith snapped out, facepalming herself. “Are you freaking serious?”

Okay, I’m done. I was tired, I was hungry, and so far, my day was going down the shit tube pretty hard. I did not need a fight with Edith right now. “For crying out loud, Edith, what the hell is your problem? Wes and I aren’t like that, and even if we were, where the hell has Matias been, huh? Where? We hardly talk, and when we do, it’s a couple of crappy texts!” I started pacing, feeling the adrenaline surging within. “And…he shot me!” I added for good measure.

Edith glared, “Oh come off it, Mara. He shot your brother—”

“Exactly! He shot my brother, Edith, my freaking brother. How would you feel if I went around and shot the people you loved?”

“Right now? Like I’d punch you in the face and then punt your ass across this field.”

“Exactly! That’s what part of me feels. And then the other part of me knows I like him, okay? I’m not in denial. I know I like him. But I’m hurt, and I’m jealous, and I’m all the crap that comes when your quasi-maybe-boyfriend-but-not-really is spending all his time with his ex-girlfriend!”

“It’s complicated, Mara,” she pushed back.

“I know that! The logical part of my brain gets it, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less!”

Edith stood silent, her arms crossed, feet shoulder width apart, and brows pinched together. She was clearly still annoyed, but she stayed quiet. And I…I suddenly felt deflated, like all the air within me had been sucked out, leaving me flat, tired, and emotionally drained.

I collapsed onto the ground, back onto my bottom, with my legs bent and my elbows resting on my knees. “I…I don’t know what to do. And I get you think I have a choice, but in the end, I really don’t.” I sighed heavily. “I’ve got to do everything I can to save my brother. He gave everything up for me. It’s because of me that he’s in the tower, and it’s because he helped me that he’s going to die. I-I can’t just abandon him. I can’t just let him die.” I felt it. The lump forming in my throat, making it difficult for me to swallow. “I won’t do that to him…not when I know he would never do that to me.”

Once again, Edith stayed quiet, and the silence stretched between us. The seconds passed, and I finally looked up to face her. Her typically soft, angelic features now appeared chiseled out of ice as she stared down at the ground, arms still crossed. And then she blinked, setting her gaze on me. Her brows shifted, still furrowed but softening as she inhaled deeply through her nose. Then she spoke gently, catching me by surprise.

“I’m sorry.” I watched her, listening intently. “I’m sorry I got worked up, and I’m sorry if I made you mad or something.” She drew quiet, rubbing her lips together before the look of concern swept back across her face. “It’s just…you’re all my friends. And I just hope you don’t regret this. I really don’t.” Silence encased us for another moment as Edith seemed to consider her next choice of words carefully. “I don’t envy the position you’re in, Mara. But, I’m worried someone’s going to end up hurt. I just hope you can live with it in the end.”

My brows knitted together as I spoke, my tone holding a bite. “What’s that supposed to be? Some sort of warning?”

She shook her head gently. “All I’m saying is, I’d think really hard about what you do next.”

Did she think I was stupid? An idiot? I knew this was something I had to tread lightly with. It wasn’t my fault that Sasha put this crap on me. “And what would you do if you were in my position? The way I see it, I’m stuck. And besides,” my voice lowered as my heart stung, “Matias made his choice.”

Edith took a step away from me toward the base. “Maybe you should talk to him about the choices he’s made.”

“Yeah? And how am I supposed to do that? Last time I checked, he was off at the Institute with not so much as a word of goodbye.”

“Well,” she said as she took more steps away from me, “last time I checked, he’s on his way back. And I’m sure as hell not going to be the one to tell him you just agreed to marry another guy.”

My jaw dropped.

Crap.

14: Runaway Bride

As I watched Edith walk away from me, nausea swelled once again in my belly.

Matias was coming back.

He was coming back from the Institute, and…where was he going? Here? Was he coming here?

I shoved my face in my hands. It was the most bizarre thing because I could feel a part of me growing with excitement, remembering days of close caresses and hungry lips. But…another part of me sensed something very different.

Dread.

But why? Why was the thought of him coming back freaking me out?

Did I feel guilty? But why the hell would I feel guilty? I shook my head, trying to shake it all off. I had nothing to feel guilty about. I wasn’t the one who went MIA on the relationship. I wasn’t the one who was literally wrapped in the arms of someone else. I wasn’t the one who shot him.

I inhaled deeply, trying to settle my nerves. It didn’t matter that he was coming back. It didn’t change everything that had happened—or rather, didn’t happen—between us, or the current craptastic situation I had found myself in.

But it still hurt. It hurt bad. I grimaced. It just wasn’t fair. Why was I always finding myself in these awful positions, having to choose between the people I cared about?

“Ugh,” I groaned, flopping back onto the grass, staring up into the blue sky. My mind wrestled with it all, and I felt myself at war with what I wanted to do and what I should do. I wanted to save my brother, making sure he didn’t share in Chase’s grotesque fate. But I didn’t want to marry Wes. In truth, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted Matias either. Our time apart had left a pretty big hole, and that hole filled itself up with jealousy, then pain, and something that felt dangerously close to apathy.

Regardless of what I wanted, I knew what everyone would tell me I needed to do—cut my own desires out of the equation and do “what was best for everyone,” or whatever the hell it was. I was supposed to focus on what would serve the greater good and not just what was best for one person. That’s what the Dissenters were always preaching, anyway.

But…but I…I didn’t want to.

Was that so wrong? Was it so wrong that I wanted to focus on saving Jacob versus what was best for all the rest of these damn people? Did that make me a bad person?

I bit my lip, my eyes watching the tufts of white slowly drift across the sky. What would anyone else do in my situation? How do you choose between saving your family or sacrificing your happiness for the greater good? Who does that crap anyway?

I shot up. Bitterness became a living essence in my veins—filling me, consuming my body. Why was I being expected to care for a bunch of people who barely tolerated me to begin with? I wasn’t stupid. Sasha didn’t care about me. Sasha wasn’t looking out for my best interest.

Power.

Wealth.

Survival.

Revenge

That’s what she said, right? That’s all she was looking out for…herself. And she was sacrificing me to regain her power, regain her wealth, and ensure the survival of her people. But if you really care about people, wouldn’t you care about all of them, regardless of who they followed or what they believed?

No. Sasha wanted what was best for one person and one person only. And she was playing with the lives of hundreds of people to achieve her own goals. I just happened to be the unlucky girl that had what she wanted—a title. Well, you know what…screw her. Screw this whole freaking place. Everyone else focused on their own wants under the guise of doing what was better for the masses. If everyone else could do that, then why couldn’t I?

Why couldn’t I just go along with Sasha’s little plan, get my brother back, and then jump ship before I had to say the words I do? If everyone else could use me as a little pawn in their freaking games, then so could I.

All was fair in love and war, right?

Well, this sure as hell wasn’t about love, but it was definitely a war between who was going to outsmart the other. I never wanted to play the stupid game, but if Sasha was going to drag me into it, then I might as well double down and start playing. I could follow their stupid little rules and play their little game. But for once, I was going to make sure that I wasn’t the one being used in the end. Not this time. I wasn’t going to end up crying and lost in the woods.

I was done with that.

This time, I was going to focus on one thing—saving my brother. If that meant everyone needed to think I was going to be the future Mrs. Calvernon, then so be it. Fine. I could play that role. But no one said I had to go through with it in the end, right? Brides run away all the time, don’t they?

A heavy sigh fell from my lips as a deep sense of foreboding filled me. Edith’s words rang through my mind all over again. There was one thing she got a hundred percent right—someone was going to get hurt.

The question now was who?

15: FML

Sasha seemed pleased when I told her I was accepting Charles Calvernon’s offer of marrying his son in exchange for Jacob’s rescue and aid to the Dissenters. But some part of her acted as though she knew I was going to take the bait. And I kicked myself for it. I hated that she knew I would accept the deal.

That was a few days ago, and it had been silent ever since. I was still living in the barracks, but I had been pulled out of my squad for training. No explanation, no instructions, no information.

Nothing.

No one seemed to know anything either, because no one treated me differently or acted weird around me. I, literally, spent the last several days twiddling my thumbs, fretting about the decision I had made and how it was all going to play out.

I didn’t see Edith either. I tried texting her a few times, but she never responded to me. Clearly, she was still upset, and that kind of pissed me off. It was easy to judge someone else for their choices when you didn’t truly understand the weight of their decisions. Being put in this position made me think so much of my brother.

How many times had he been forced to choose between the people he loved? Between his parents and me? How many times did he have to decide between honoring his family and country, or acting against them to make sure I survived? How many times did he choose to protect me or save me, knowing that he would be hurt in the end? How many times?

Too many.

Because that’s where Sasha had it wrong. Not everyone was motivated by power, wealth, survival, and revenge. Some people are motivated by love. And Jacob was proof of that.

Jacob sacrificed himself over and over again to protect me, not because he stood to gain power, money, or because he sought revenge or to survive. He sacrificed himself because he truly loved me. And now look at the mess he was in: A prisoner of war in the worst detention facility Telvia had ever erected, scheduled to be burned alive in an arena for all to see.

How the hell could I not risk everything to save him? How the freaking hell could I not sacrifice myself to ensure his survival?

I couldn’t.

It was really that simple. And Edith could be pissed off at me all she wanted, but she didn’t understand the situation like I did. She wasn’t in my shoes, facing my choices. She could judge all she wanted. Hell, she could stop talking to me completely, cut me off, and never help me again if she wanted to, but none of it was going to change my mind.

I was going to save Jacob.

End of story.

But the loneliness and lack of information was getting really old. And, as much as I was annoyed with Edith for not supporting me, I missed her, too. I missed Matias and how much simpler things were between us back at the Dissenter base, where I wasn’t at war with hurt and anger, and all I had to focus on was anxious desire—that nervous angst you feel when a kiss lingers between you and the boy you’re desperate to taste.

I hadn’t heard from him. All I knew was that he was “coming back,” but I never had time to ask Edith what that even meant. So I sat, day in and day out, with my stomach in knots and my head swimming with heavy thoughts as I waited for the next damn shoe to drop. Because it was absolutely going to. I just wasn’t sure when.

***

Turns out, it was a Saturday. And when it dropped, the imaginary shoe didn’t so much as drop as it did kick me in the ass.

“Get up, soldier.” I shot up out of bed, startled by the firm, bitchy voice that cut through my dream like Edith’s katana.

I turned, my eyes landing on a tall, lean-bodied woman that had to be a few years older than me. Twenty maybe? Her blonde hair was swept back in the most intense braided bun I had ever seen. Crisp green eyes, long lashes, high cheekbones, sharp pointed features, and a body I knew was stunning under the casual cadet uniform of green shirt and tan cargo pants. This girl was smoking hot.

“Move it, sunshine,” she bit out as she pulled back my sheets.

“Hey! I’m going, I’m going.” I narrowed my eyes at her as I climbed out of bed. A quick glance around showed me that the barrack was empty. All the other girls must have gone already. Only their beds remained with neatly tucked sheets, everything in its place.

“I’m not going to wait all day, soldier, so let’s go.”

I shot a glare at her as I rummaged through my trunk at the foot of my bed and grabbed a clean shirt and pants. This girl might be beautiful, but her temperament did little to match. But, then again, everyone at this damn base had been kind of snippy, so I wasn’t that surprised. I rushed over to the bathroom, changed out of my clothes, ran a brush through my hair to tame the rat’s nest, and wrangled it all into as neat of a bun as I could. That’s how they liked it around here…always in a bun and out of the way. A quick look in the mirror showed me I looked like every other soldier on base—standard issued olive-green shirt, tan cargo pants, black boots, neat hair, and absolutely nothing that would make me stand out or unique. Just another face in the ranks.

“Your reflection hasn’t changed from yesterday, soldier,” she snapped. I poked my head out, catching her gaze. She was standing stiff as a board with arms locked behind her back. But her eyes looked…stabby.

I decided I didn’t like this girl. I left the bathroom, threw my pajamas into my trunk, and then began to make my bed. It was a big deal if you didn’t make your bed. You got all sorts of extra kitchen duty and yelled at a lot if you left your stuff all disorganized. And I did not need extra chores. As it was, I overslept. I could only imagine how much trouble I was going to be in with my sergeant.

“Leave it,” Blondie ordered as she turned on her heels and started walking away.

“But I’ll—”

“I said leave it, soldier. Now let’s go.”

I could feel everything inside me bristle. What the hell was her problem? “If I leave it, I’m going to—”

She whipped around, casting me the coldest stare that sent ice running down my spine. “I don’t care if you get kitchen duty for a month. I said to move your ass and follow me, got that?”

My heart started thrumming in my chest. “Well, I care, so I’m—”

Blondie rushed me, putting her face right up into mine, our noses almost touching. “You will leave it as instructed. I’ve got orders to bring you to President De’vor, so get your ass in gear and move it!”

I was filled with conflicting emotions. On the one hand, the urge to shove this girl into next week was incredibly tantalizing. And I so did not want her to think that her dominatrix attitude could make me do anything that she wanted. But, on the other hand, she shared a tidbit of information that was way more intriguing than any urge to engage in a power play was. She was taking me to Sasha. And seeing Sasha was top on my priority list because it meant I was going to finally get some answers.

I took a step away from Blondie, forcing a smile. “After you,” I said, holding my arm out for her to lead the way.

Her eyes narrowed further, lips set in a thin line, but she moved forward, shoulder-checking me as she walked by and out the door. I resisted the urge to say anything, and instead, stayed focused on the fact that I was going to see Sasha.

We marched across the concrete jungle that was Fort Warren, passing airplane hangars, the men’s barracks, and a parking lot filled with Humvees, until we finally reached the administration building. Blondie led the way, marching us right in, passing the front desk, and down the hallway. And that’s when we arrived at a small conference room, very similar to the Situation Room I had been in earlier in the week. And when we walked in, I found Sasha and Fisher waiting for me.

“President De’vor, First Commander Fisher,” Blondie acknowledged as she saluted them.

Fisher beamed at her. “Thank you, Miss Haeflinger.” She gave him a warm smile and a quick tip of her head before turning, glaring at me, and stepping out of the room.

Relief swept through me knowing Blondie wasn’t staying for this meeting. I turned to look at Sasha and Fisher, both of whom had calm expressions. “What’s going on?” I wanted to get whatever this was going. I had a million questions, and I really wanted answers for each one of them.

“Good morning, Miss de la Puente,” Fisher said, the words coming out stiff and less than genuine. “So good of you to join us.”

The desire to roll my eyes and cross my arms was fierce but required way too much energy from me. Picking a silent fight with the North’s First in Command wasn’t going to earn me any brownie points. And in truth, I didn’t think it was worth my time. So I settled for a curt nod and smile before turning my attention to Sasha. “So, you going to tell me what this is all about?”

“Good morning to you too, child.” She sat in her chair, perfect posture as always. “I’m glad to see you could join us for our meeting.” I couldn’t help it this time. I did roll my eyes. The pomp and circumstance and pleasantries were delaying what I really wanted, and that was information. She cleared her throat softly. “Your manners will be something we’ll need to work on.”

I pinched my brows. “What do you want, Sasha? I’ve been living on a military base most of the summer. Add that to the fact that I haven’t heard from you in days with no updates on anything. Pardon me if my patience is wearing thin and my etiquette is a little rusty.”

She turned her gaze to the table, reaching for a teacup I hadn’t noticed, and drew it to her lips, sipping it painfully slow. It was all a show, making a point that she didn’t take orders from me.

I bit my cheek, trying so hard not to let my temper flare. “Good morning, Sasha. Would you please tell me why I’m here?” I tried my best to sound calm and polite, but I was pretty sure it came out tight and grating.

She took another sip before looking back at me. “That was better. Not perfect, but better.” She placed the cup back on its saucer. “I knew your father well, as well as his distasteful wife. I have no doubt that they held you to high standards in their household, and the Calvernons will expect the same. It would do you well to remember your etiquette while you’re there.”

There? “What do you mean? Where am I going?”

This time, Fisher answered. “Miss de la Puente, I’m here to escort you to the Calvernon Estate.”

“What?” My stomach dropped. The thought of going to Wes’s house made me feel uneasy. “Why?”

Sasha breathed evenly, appearing tired. “You are being relocated to the estate. Since we’ve accepted Charles’s terms, he no longer wants you living in the barracks. He wants you staying at the estate.”

Whoa! “Wait a minute…” My brain suddenly felt as though it were spinning. I was going to live at the estate? As in, live with Wes? This wasn’t happening. “Why? What’s going on?”

Sasha spoke up this time. “It’s nothing but a precaution, child, and a formality. As the future First Lady of the North, it’s hardly appropriate for you to live on a military base. Northern tradition dictates you live at the estate.”

“But why can’t I live somewhere else? I mean, isn’t it inappropriate for me to be living with my fiancé or something?” I was scrambling. As much as the barracks sucked, the thought of moving into the Calvernon Estate had my insides wringing themselves out.

“Nonsense,” Fisher stated.

“But you guys were all on me, like, two seconds ago, about manners. How does this make any sense—”

“Child,” Sasha cut in firmly, “I can understand your point, but this is a choice that is out of our hands. President Calvernon has requested that you be relocated to the estate. And we will comply with his request seeing as how we are currently relying on his good will. Do you understand?”

My mouth fell open, but I had nothing. There was nothing I could say to that. I closed my mouth, swallowing hard, and then nodded. “Yeah, I got it.”

“Very good,” she stated curtly as she rose from her seat. “You will follow First Commander Fisher to the car.”

I was desperate, grasping at straws, trying to delay the unavoidable. “I’ve got to get my stuff. I haven’t packed, and I need—”

This time, Fisher cut in. “Your belongings have already been gathered from the barracks.”

I stood there in the silence, feeling the anxiety pooling in my stomach. This was it. I was out of excuses. It was time to face the outcome of the decision I had made. And the worst part was…Edith was right. I was already regretting it.

FML.

16: Castle Calvernon

With nowhere else to turn, Fisher escorted me out of the conference room, leaving Sasha behind. Once outside, we were greeted by an elderly man standing next to a black town car. His uniform was similar to the one worn by our chauffeur in Telvia, and taking in the uniform and car, I assumed he was the driver for today’s excursion. He was a quiet man, too. Didn’t say much. Clean shaven, hair white as the clouds in the sky, and wrinkles around his eyes and mouth that made me think he spent a lot of time smiling, which he did. He smiled when I was led to him by Fisher, smiled as he opened my door, smiled when I asked how long the drive was going to be, and then just smiled some more. But he never said a word.

Fisher, on the other hand, was the exact opposite, doing nothing but grimacing constantly. When I tried talking to him, I got grunts, annoyed sighs, and curt responses. I may have been exaggerating, but I was pretty sure Fisher hated me. Truth be told, I didn’t like him very much either. So we sat in silence mostly, and I looked outside the window, watching the rolling plains and wooded hills of the North fade into suburbia and cityscape.

I think the most shocking thing to see was how much the North looked like Telvia, and then looked nothing like it at all. The city was complete with skyscrapers, the neighborhoods with little houses and big ones. There were little boutique shops, people driving cars, people playing with their kids. It all rang with a familiarity that reminded me of my home, but also so completely different. Because when I looked at the faces of the people around me, there was a carefree attitude in the way they went about their business, a lightness that never felt present in Telvia. Here, people weren’t looking over their shoulder or biting their tongue for fear of who might be listening.

It was…it was weird.

Then there was the greenery—there were plants everywhere. And I don’t mean the succulents and fake trees that adorned all of Telvia. I mean big, leafy ones. Plants with giant, vibrant leaves. And the trees—there were so many trees. Many were beginning to lose their leaves. While on base, I noticed the leaves turning color with bright hues of orange, yellow, and red. And seriously, it had to be one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. The trees never changed color in Telvia. They didn’t sway with a breeze, or groan in the wind. But here…the trees were alive, living a life all their own. And I swear, I felt that if I listened hard enough, I could hear them whispering.

I had never seen another region outside of Telvia, and doing so now was another slap to the face. Raúl’s carefully crafted tales, backed by the Telvian Council, always made it sound like the other regions were deserted. Nothing but desert wastelands. He told us that the only people living outside the wall were hostile, hellbent on destroying Telvia to take its resources.

But it was all a lie.

Everything that ever came out of my father’s mouth was a lie. One big, tall tale—a spider’s web of deception intended to keep everyone trapped in the dark and…

Submissive.

Nothing about the North made me believe they were hurting for anything, or that they even wanted anything. They had it all.

When the town car arrived at the Calvernon Estate, a tall, wrought-iron fence kept the grounds of the property secured. The main gate entrance was decorated with elegant scrollwork and gold painted leaves shaped out of the iron. As our car drove up to it, the gate swung open, and a white gravel driveway led down the center, lined on either side by tall, pointed cypress pines that stretched toward the sky.

At the end of the long driveway was this huge thing with three-tiers, pouring out generous amounts of water from the top. Water flowed out from the top, down to the second tier, and then cascaded down into the massive pool at the bottom. The driveway wrapped around it, bordering it on all sides.

My brows knitted together as our car rolled up, turning around the structure. “What is that?”

“It’s a fountain, Miss de la Puente,” Fisher said behind me.

I blinked, turning to face him. “A fountain? What’s it for?” The car came to a stop; the fountain on one side and the mansion on the other.

Fisher unbuckled his seat seatbelt. “For decoration.”

Decoration? We conserved water in Telvia like a precious lifeline Mother Nature could steal back at any second. And here, water was a decoration?

We didn’t have water fountains in Telvia.

We didn’t decorate with limited resources.

We conserved.

Fisher’s car door was opened for him, drawing my attention to the house just beyond, and I gawked. Where the Presidential Palace was all white marble and golden accents, this place was gray stone with black iron, gold and red accents, stained glass windows, and complete with turrets and towers. This place wasn’t an estate, but a freaking castle! It rivaled the Presidential Palace in size, with just as many windows, floors, and what I was pretty sure were “wings.” It probably even had a basement.

I shivered.

I took in a deep breath, trying to settle the knots forming in my stomach. I didn’t really know why, but I felt nervous and out of place. It wasn’t the grandeur of the estate. I’d grown up living in luxury, but this…this was different. Everything about the North reminded me that I had no idea what the real world was like. I’d been living a lie my whole life, and now I felt stupid.

I placed my hand on the car door handle, only to have the door swing away from me. I looked up and was greeted by Smiley giving me—wait for it—another smile. Of course. I tried to return it, but it felt forced. So I settled for a nod and a “thank you” as I climbed out of the vehicle.

Stepping onto the gravel driveway, my eyes were greeted by a wide stone staircase that led to two double doors of the mansion. A breeze kicked up, carrying a slight chill with it, sending a shiver through my body. A gentle reminder that the seasons were shifting and winter was coming. Instinctually, I wrapped my arms around myself even though the warmth of summer was still very much present. The breeze, however, introduced a chill that settled deep into my bones.

Smiley cleared his throat gently with his hand, and then extended it out in the universal gesture of right this way. I nodded again and returned my gaze to Castle Calvernon.

“Come, Miss de la Puente.” Fisher walked past me, taking the stairs with measured steps. “This will be your new home.”

My stomach dropped, a sinking feeling deep in my gut. Home. This was going to be my new home. I swallowed, my mouth dry as the desert. And then I reminded myself. For now…my home for now. It was all temporary. Play the part, save my brother, and get the hell out. I shook my head, taking in a deep breath as I steeled myself, facing the castle that might as well be a prison. “Just one step at a time,” I whispered to myself.

“Come, Miss de la Puente,” Fisher pushed, “we don’t want to leave the lady of the house waiting.”

“Lady?” But he didn’t respond to me. Taking in another deep breath through my nose, I began climbing the steps.

One…two…three…

I kept my focus on the grand red doors, noticing the black iron rivets and gold accents.

Ten…eleven…twelve…

With each step, I felt my heart pump harder, faster. Even though Castle Calvernon looked nothing like the Presidential Palace, a part of me felt the same primal fear that haunted my waking hours in my Telvian life.

Eighteen…nineteen…twenty…

As my booted foot landed on the final step, the grand red doors groaned and opened wide. And there, right in the center, stood a gorgeous woman, tall and slender. Her simple, form-fitting, beige satin dress, draped over all the right curves of her elegant body. Her blonde hair of supple curls was collected and piled on her head, with several cascading down and falling gently about her face. I had the distinct impression that she had spent hours working on the arrangement but made it look as though she had just tossed them up in an I don’t care sort of way. I wasn’t buying it.

She totally cared.

And she reminded me of Belinda—clean, refined, gorgeous, and crisp.

I shivered again.

Despite the many resemblances she had to Belinda, there was something she didn’t share. Where Belinda’s eyes were blue, this woman had hazel ones. The same hazel eyes I so often found myself captivated by.

Wes.

I felt a pang in my chest at the thought, and I took in a deep breath, trying to expand my lungs to relieve the tightness that was making it difficult to breathe.

“Welcome to Calvernon Estate.” Her voice was cool and glossy, smooth and sophisticated. She folded her hands in front of her, eyes piercing and bright.

I gulped, staring at the woman who reminded me so much of my personal torturer, glancing at the castle that felt so much more like a tomb than a home, and felt myself grow cold from the inside out. Edith’s words crossed my mind once more.

I hope you don’t regret this…

Too late. Rolling my shoulders back, I stepped across the threshold into my new hell.

17: Pedigree

“You must be Miss de la Puente.” The woman extended an elegant hand with long fingers, painted nails of muted mauve, and delicate gold bracelets on her wrist. “Welcome.”

“Thank you.” I reached out, taking her hand in my own in an awkward, dainty handshake.

Her grip tightened slightly—barely noticeable—as she eyed me up and down, serious and stoic. The shift was subtle. I noticed the slight stiffening of her posture, the shift in her eyes, and the slight downward turn of her lips, just at the corners. Then she blinked, and it all evaporated. The curves of her body softened, a smile overcame her red lips, and her grip lessened.

It happened so fast, I almost missed it, but I caught it. I would always catch it. Because that’s how the game was played. The games of kings and queens, life or death. I may not have been very good at it…not like Jacob. But I could still smell bullshit when I saw it. Because no one played the game better than Belinda, not even this broad.

She let me go as she allowed her smile to brighten her whole face, but it didn’t meet her eyes. Her eyes revealed nothing. “Of course, my dear. We are happy to assist the Dissenters in any way we can. I am Lady Calvernon, First Lady of the North. But you may call me Marissa.”

My stomach felt like a pit. This was Chase and Wes’s mother. Just like them, she was stunning. An astounding specimen of female perfection. If my memory served me right, Sasha mentioned Marissa wanted revenge for Chase’s murder. And suddenly, I felt like scum in front of this woman.

Because of my family—because of me—she lost her eldest son, and that thought caused guilt to wash over me. God only knew what she thought of me, and I realized then that she was someone I really didn’t want to piss off.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I mustered.

“Yes, the pleasure is all mine, of course.” The smile dropped from her lips and for only a fraction of a second, her eyes revealed something less than charming. But as quickly as it came, she turned on her heels, walking deeper into the house, taking whatever secrets she was hiding with her. “Come, I’ll show you to your room. You’ll be staying in the West Wing.”

“Thank you.” I started following her, leaving Smiley and Fisher behind. Silence came between us, and I took the opportunity to get a lay of the land as much as I could. Though the ground was made of dark wood, rugs covered most of the floors—rich reds with gold scrollwork.

Each stained-glass window was framed with matching red drapes with gold cords and tassels pulling them back, allowing the colors of the imagery to shine as the sun passed through. Each one differed from the one before it, and I had an urge to stop and admire the different scenes, but Marissa was quick, never checking to make sure I was still following behind her. So I pressed on, making a mental note to revisit each window when I had the chance.

As if stained glass windows, ruby red fabrics, and gold everywhere weren’t enough, the stone walls were adorned with tapestries. Grand masterpieces depicting what I thought might be medieval battles, castles, dragons, and knights on horseback. The colors were more muted than the windows, but the details I caught as I walked back told me I was going to have to take some time to study these too.

Plush antique chairs and tables were in alcoves with shelves lined with stuff I didn’t have the opportunity to really look at. Then there were statues made of dark irons and suits of armor, which I had only ever seen in pictures at the academy. There were gorgeous lamps of black, and various shades of gold and red that lit the darkened corners, and occasionally I would pass enormous mirrors with ornate golden frames.

Sasha was dead wrong. This place was nothing like the Presidential Palace. When I called this place Castle Calvernon, I was only half serious, but now I realized I couldn’t have been more right. This place was, in fact, a damn castle.

We came to a grand staircase that went up half a flight before branching off into opposite directions—I assumed the West and East wings. Gathering her skirts, Marissa started ascending the stairs. “Once we make it to your room, I ask that you please remain there until we can give you a tour of the manor. Supper is served early, so please clean yourself up and be ready for when you are called on.”

We reached the top, facing a long hallway that was similarly decorated as the first floor. The only difference was that this hall had rows of doors on either side. All bedrooms I imagined.

“Thanks,” I managed. But she said nothing in return, and we walked the rest of the way in silence until we made it about halfway down the hall and stopped in front of a door. Marissa reached over, took a key out of her pocket, and unlocked the door. Turning the handle, she pushed the door open, and it swung out silently on its hinges.

“This is your room.” Marissa stepped aside, eyeing me. I swallowed and walked in.

My eyes grew wide as an enormous room decorated in the similar reds, golds, and antique furniture as the halls greeted my eyes. A king-sized, four-poster bed was against one wall, and two plush chairs were by a fireplace on the other side. I had my very own stained-glass window, depicting a young woman in an elegant white gown running through what seemed to be some sort of enchanted forest.

“Oh wow,” the words escaped me in a breath. I might have grown up in luxury in Telvia, but Belinda never allowed me to have any of the rooms that even came close to matching this place. Not to mention that this was a definite upgrade from the canvas tent, barracks, and farmhouse I had gotten used to.

Marissa took a few steps into the room. “I hope these accommodations will suit a young lady of your pedigree.”

“My what now?” The statement sounded innocent enough, but it also just sounded nasty. Like, she meant it as an insult or something.

Marissa rolled her shoulders back while offering me a sweet smile. “Your pedigree, my dear. You are the First Daughter of Telvia, are you not?”

“Yeah?”

“You mean yes.” She smiled again, tipping her head. “I’ve heard rumors of how opulent the Presidential Palace is. I just hope our humble home will compare to you.”

I didn’t really know what it was, but like Fisher, something told me Marissa didn’t like me. Maybe it was the icy edge to her tone, or the cold look in her eyes, but I suddenly felt like I was treading on pins and needles. I plastered the sweetest smile I could muster. “It’s beautiful. Thank you for extending such wonderful hospitality to me.”

Her smile faltered before she blinked and collected herself again. “Yes, well, it is a pleasure, my dear. Now, dinner is served at five. Please be ready on time. I recommend you dress nicely.” She wrinkled her nose slightly as she eyed my cargo pants and t-shirt. But I couldn’t blame her for that one. I had wrinkled my nose at the outfit plenty of times myself.

“Of course,” I responded, trying my best not to squeak like a mouse.

“Wonderful. Well, I’ll leave you to wash up and get settled. That door to the left is your bathroom, and your belongings have been placed in the closet. I’ll see you at dinner.”

I turned to say goodbye, but she was already gone, the door clicking into place. I was left with the words still in my mouth, alone, pondering what kind of spider’s web had I gotten myself into.

18: The Skank Drawer

The silence of the room was deafening. It turned out that all those thick fabrics absorbed all sound, leaving the silence feeling heavy and overbearing. I found myself being noisy on purpose, clicking my tongue, stepping heavier than usual, tapping my fingernails on the intricately carved wooden dressers. Anything I could do to make some noise, I did. I checked out the bathroom, only to witness the jaw-dropping majesty of a huge, Roman-style bath, gold faucets, and monogrammed towels bearing the Calvernon family crest. Frankly, it was too ridiculous. So I checked out the closet instead.

The door opened to reveal another room that was bigger than the bathroom and almost as big as my actual bedroom. And it was full. As in, every single rack was filled with shirts, pants, dresses, and coats. There were racks for shoes, parading heels and sandals and tennis shoes and glamorous boots and just about anything else I’d dare put on my feet. And I was instantly confused. Who did all this stuff belong to? Because it sure as hell wasn’t mine.

My clothes consisted of nothing more than my military issued cadet uniform, combat gear, and a skintight jumpsuit that felt more like being nude than being naked was. I didn’t own anything. So who did all this belong to?

I stepped out of the space, closing the door quickly. Walking in someone else’s closet felt a lot like snooping in a diary. I’d have to figure out what the deal was with that.

Unless…

Do I have a roommate? I quickly searched around, looking for anything that might confirm the thought. Did Wes have a sister or something? No one ever mentioned a sister before, but it’s not like anyone ever talked about their families at the rebel camp.

I rushed to the vanity and examined all the brushes, combs, hair ties, make-up brushes, lip glosses, eyeliners, and everything else. It was a full set of every hair accessory and make-up tool you could think of. And it was all a hundred percent brand new. Not so much as a single hair stuck in the bristles of the brush, or a delicate swipe in the fine pressed foundation powders. The tips of the eyeliners were as pointed as ever, the mascara brushes were clean of clumps, and the lipsticks were perfectly shaped and smooth. It was all new, never used.

“Does that mean…” the sentence fell into silence as my eyes landed on two cards propped up on the nightstand. I quickly swiped up the cards and examined them. They both had my name written on them, but in completely different handwriting. I recognized the first and quickly opened it.

Welcome to your new casa, newbie! I’m sorry about our fight, but remember, I’ve always got your back. Hope you like the clothes I picked out. Be sure to check the dresser in the corner. 😉

Edith

My heart warmed, and the tension that had settled there eased. Leave it to Edith. Even after having our first fight as friends, she still had my back. I smiled, staring at the words, and then my eyes landed on the winking smiley face she added after telling me to check the dresser.

Interesting…

My curiosity had definitely been piqued. I put the cards aside on the bed and marched over to the only dresser located near a corner in the room. Another intricately carved piece of art, with a deep stain highlighting the grains of the wood. I ran my hand over the smooth, glossy top and couldn’t help but peek at my fingertips.

Nope…no dust.

Whoever they got to clean around here was definitely no Chelsea. And then I felt my heart squeeze momentarily, feeling guilty. I shouldn’t be making jokes at her expense. She might have served as my maid in Telvia, but it was all a front to kidnap me and whisk me away. And now she was crazy…like, certifiably insane and locked up. I grimaced. I had it so much better than she did, and yet here I was too focused on being jealous over Matias. I was standing in a room bigger than the homes of every Subclass citizen in Telvia, with a closet packed to the brim with more clothing than I could ever wear in a lifetime. And where was she? Lost…lost in her own mind.

“Ugh…I’m such a bitch.” Admitting to myself that I had been less than likable didn’t change anything, but I hoped that I could do better if I ever saw her again.

I sighed, trying to clear the thoughts, and returned my attention to the mystery dresser. I ran my fingers over the brass nobs and pulled on the top drawer. And when my eyes landed on the contents, I found another note resting right on top.

Remember, modesty’s for prudes, bestie.

If you’re jumping in, might as well go all the way…

What the…?

I swear to god, she was nuts. I didn’t even know what this was supposed to mean. I read the note again, and then finally gave up. Putting it aside, I reached in the drawer and pulled out one of the pieces of clothing, holding it up to see.

Oh. My. God.

The heat that flushed my cheeks burned like the fire of a thousand suns, and I instantly felt so hot, I thought I was going to pass out. Because in my hands was the skimpiest piece of flaming red lace I had ever seen. It was way too little fabric to be underwear, that was for sure. And not nearly enough to cover anything. Like, nothing!

Nope!

No, no.

Narp.

Don’t think so.

Hells to the no.

Not. Gonna. Happen.

I shoved the lingerie into the drawer as deep as I could. I didn’t even dare check the rest of it because the drawer was full of more lace in varying colors, and I had no intention of ever, ever, wearing any of it! I slammed the drawer closed and took a massive step away from it.

A shiver passed through me, causing my whole body to shake. Next time I saw her, I was going to shove that thong down her throat.

Who the hell bought all of this? Edith had clearly been here, that was for sure. But who purchased everything? I remembered the second card on the bed, and ran over to it, taking it and tearing it open. Inside was a piece of elegant stationary with the Calvernon crest printed on the top of the page. And underneath was elegant handwriting.

As the future First Lady of the North, you must dress like one. I have tasked Edith to purchase you a new wardrobe. I trusted she would know your size and pick clothing suitable for a young woman of your stature.

My cheeks colored as I cast another glance at the sex drawer in the corner. Boy, was she wrong.

Remember, child, that the future of Telvia and your brother’s life are now in your hands.

Regards,

Sasha De’vor

Well, that answered that. I’d have to thank Sasha for the clothing and Edith for shopping. Though, the thanking part might come after I punched Edith for the clothing—if you could even call it that—in the skank drawer.

I put the cards back down on the bed and took another look around with a long sigh. This was it. I was here, and I was moving full steam ahead with a plan that may or may not explode in my face. I felt heavy, and I started to chew on my nails when I heard a knock at my door.

Don’t tell me it was dinner already? I glanced at my mini-tab and noted the time. I still had two hours before dinner.

“Coming,” I walked to the door. Marissa had mentioned someone would give me a tour of the house. It was probably a maid or something. I reached for the knob, pulled open the door, and then my stomach dropped. Immediately, I felt an icy chill run down my spine as my heart squeezed, threatening to explode. Because right in front of me was Matias.

19: All My Demons

My gaze fell upon deep brown eyes, warm skin, and wavy blackish-brown hair that framed a boyishly handsome face. My heart sputtered in my chest, feeling as though it was about to give out. “Matias…”

His eyes met mine as a small smile turned one corner of his lips upward. “Don’t sound too happy to see me,” he teased, but it was weak and forced. I could hear the pain hiding behind his words. Hurt crept in and snaked through his tone.

My cheeks colored. Did he know? “Hi,” I said too quickly. “Hey, um, wow. What…what are you doing here?” I wanted to kick myself. It all came out too fast, too rushed. Like I was guilty of something and had been caught red-handed.

But wasn’t that the case? Was I not guilty of agreeing to marry someone else?

His gaze fell to the floor as he shook his head. “Wow…it’s been months and all I get is ‘what are you doing here?’” It came out sharp, a tickle of annoyance seeping in.

I narrowed my eyes slightly, but decided a fight was not what I needed at the moment. “I’m sorry. It’s just, I’m surprised and so much is going on right now.” I backed away from the door. “Why don’t you come in?” I walked further into the room, hearing him follow me and then the door closing. “How did you know I was here?” I asked as I turned around.

“Edith.”

“Oh.” Well, that tracks. Leave it to Edith to set me up and not even warn me about it. I swear that girl was going to be the death of me. I brushed a loose strand of hair back behind my ear. “Um, how did you find me in here?” A nervous laugh escaped me. “This place is like a maze.”

He looked around the space, face void of any expression. “Wes and I used to hang out sometimes. Nice room.” I watched as he took in the space and drunk him in because never in my life had I seen Matias in regular clothing.

The gray t-shirt sat on his frame comfortably, while his black skinny jeans highlighted all the right places. The familiar sensations of heat, rapid breaths, quickened heartbeats, and excitement brewed from desire filled me. In just those couple of seconds, I was back on the mountain, overlooking the world, wrapped in his arms with lips that kissed me hard and fast.

He cleared his throat, bringing me back into the present. “Yeah, it’s super fancy.”

He glanced at me, eyes blank. He tried a smile, nothing but the curve of his lips, but it looked wrong and forced. “Is this what your room was like at the Presidential Palace?”

“Uh, no. No, my parents gave me the smallest room in the house.”

He nodded. “Right…”

Silence.

Oh god, this was weird. Like super, super awkward. I cleared my throat as I sat on the edge of my bed. “How’s Chelsea?”

That perked him up, causing him to stand a little straighter. “She’s okay, I guess. She’s making some progress.”

“That’s good.” I meant it. Chelsea was a major pain, but ultimately, she was a good person, and I owed her my life. “Do they know what’s wrong?”

He took in a deep breath, his eyes shifting away from me. “No.” It was a simple answer, but I could hear the pain hiding in the depths of that single syllable.

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t reply, and the silence encompassed us again. My insides crawled, and I was pretty sure that a baboon had taken residence in my stomach, and boy was he wreaking havoc in there.

“How have you been?” he finally asked after a few seconds.

“Fine. Busy, but fine.” It was a big, fat, bold lie. I wasn’t fine. Not even close to fine. My brother was doomed to die, and I had just agreed to marry Wes! And then, on top of it all, there was Matias and the insanely weird awkwardness that was nothing like us.

This wasn’t me. This wasn’t him. This just wasn’t us, and I was hating every second of it. I looked over at him, watching as he placed his hands in his jean pockets, thumbs sticking out, shoulders slightly rolled forward. As tempting as he looked, he also looked old in a way. Like the last few months had aged him years somehow. And he looked tired…the lines of his face telling a story of heartache, woe, and stress. And boy, did I understand what that felt like.

“Are you mad at me?” His voice came out haltingly as his eyes traveled to meet mine. And though his eyes carried the strain of a thousand years, in that moment, I was reminded of how young we both really were. Eighteen, risking our lives to protect the people we loved and being forced to make choices we didn’t a hundred percent agree with.

I opened my lips to tell him no, to reassure him that things were fine between us, but the words wouldn’t come out. Because it wasn’t fine. None of it was fine. And I wasn’t sure what I felt anymore. “I don’t know.” It was the most honest answer I could give him. “Are you?”

His eyes flickered, the silence stretching before he finally shook his head. “No.”

Quiet fell between us again, time ticking away as we stared at each other, neither one of us sure of what to do or say next. So I put my big girl pants on, swallowed the lump forming in my throat, and asked the question that had been bugging me the moment I saw him on the other side of the threshold. “Did Edith tell you?”

His brows knitted together. “Tell me what?”

“About what Sasha promised the North?”

“She told me you were living here now.”

“Yeah, but did she tell you why?” I wasn’t ready for this. I knew it was coming, that it was bound to happen, but I just wasn’t ready.

“Yes.”

One word and my heart shattered. It splintered into a million different pieces, and all I could do was rub my palms on my thighs, fighting back the tears that threatened to send me into a blubbery mess. “How…how are you not mad at me?” I thought for sure he would have had all kinds of emotions about this. The fact that he didn’t…well, it kind of hurt.

He took in a deep breath through his nose, releasing it slowly through his lips before he spoke. “Because…” he hesitated, and I got the feeling that what he was going to share next wasn’t going to be something I was going to particularly like. “I had a lot of time to think over the past couple of months. And I had some choices I had to make too.”

He took another deep breath, closing his eyes as he prepared to drop whatever bomb he had ticking away in his soul. Then he squared his jaw and faced me. “Chelsea needs me. I’m the only thing she has left, and I can’t leave her to fight whatever the hell she has going on by herself.”

“You chose her, didn’t you?” My feelings for Matias were complicated. I was angry at him for shooting my brother, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still like him. But there were also times where I felt a strange numbness when I thought about him, and that confused me too. Despite the messiness of it all, I always hoped that we would be able to work through it, figure it out, and maybe go back to the way things were. Hearing him now, listening to him tell me this…it stung.

His eyes flickered, moisture glistening as he frowned. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t know what to say to explain it to you.”

“Wait a minute. Have you been purposely avoiding me?” I stood up.

“I didn’t want to hurt you—”

“And you thought that ghosting me was a better alternative?”

“I know you’re mad—”

“Screw being mad,” I cut in. “I’m not mad, I’m hurt. I kept making up excuses about why you’ve been MIA all this time, only to discover that you’ve been intentionally ignoring me?” He remained quiet, and to his credit, he didn’t even try to defend himself. He just listened, taking it. “No wonder why you’re not pissed about this whole betrothal thing. You dumped me weeks ago.”

He sighed gruffly. “Come on, Mara. It’s not like that. It’s not like I wanted all of this to happen.”

I walked over to him. “But it did, Matias. It did. And you didn’t even have the decency to tell me.”

His eyes hardened, staring me down. “Yeah? Well what about you? Huh?”

“What about me?”

“If you thought we were still a thing,” he pointed a finger at the door, his voice slowly rising, “then why did you agree to marry him?”

“I didn’t have a choice—”

“That’s bullshit, Mara. That’s total BS and you know it.”

“You think I want to marry Wes? For real?”

His eyes narrowed, brows pinched. “Sure looked like you guys were getting close as you prepped for that mission.”

Oh. My. God. “Seriously?” I threw my hands up in the air, taking several steps away from him. “You could have volunteered for that one too, Matias. Last time I checked, you left me out to dry.”

He huffed, crossing his arms. “Yeah, to save the asshole that sent Chelsea to the Institute.”

“He’s not an asshole. He did what he thought he had to to save me.” This conversation was deteriorating fast.

“Whatever…”

“Ugh!” I ran my fingers through my hair, the bun loosening, resisting the urge to pull it all out. “You don’t get to judge, Matias. You don’t get to judge him, and you sure as hell don’t get to judge me. You’re picking Chelsea because you care about her, right? And you’re sacrificing what we had for her? Fine,” I spat out. “I get that, I really do. But you don’t get to turn around and cast stones at me for doing the same thing.”

My anger, laced with hurt and frustration, bubbled and boiled within me. I wasn’t happy about the choice I made, but I didn’t regret doing what needed to be done to secure help in rescuing my brother. But Matias showing up, telling me he was dumping me, and then turning around and throwing shade was not going to fly.

If there was one thing I was quickly learning from this rebellion, it was that you couldn’t trust anyone. Everything was a freaking ruse, a trick, a scheme meant to peg you in a corner and trap you, only to benefit their own cause. Oh no…I didn’t think so.

Silence fell between us, and all we did was stare, holding each other’s gazes, with shallow breaths and wildly beating hearts. And it hurt, because as mad as I was at him, it pained me to know that he felt betrayed by me. But it also pissed me off to no end. Because I wasn’t the one that backed out of the relationship first. I wasn’t the one that disappeared, never to be heard from again. I wasn’t the one that watched the other go off on a mission—quite possibly to their death!—and didn’t so much as say goodbye or wish them luck.

No…that wasn’t me. He did that. He did that all on his own. And I wasn’t going to take ownership of crap that didn’t belong to me. I had enough emotional baggage to carry around for a lifetime, and enough demons to haunt my soul for years to come. This was on him.

The energy in the room felt like it was crackling, like any slight bit of friction would cause the entire space to combust. And then, as tense and as hot as it was, it all just collapsed with a simple phrase spoken from the boy that captured my heart on day one.

“That’s it, isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question.

I blinked, feeling the tightness in my chest grow. “Yeah, I guess that’s it.”

He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he shook his head, eyes flickering with so many emotions, I couldn’t possibly catch them all. But I caught one…

Resolve.

Matias took a step backward, his arms still crossed. “Well, then I guess this is goodbye.”

Was this really it? Was this really how it was going to end?

Before I could muster a single sound, Matias was gone, leaving me alone with all my demons.

20: Burden

Istood there for what felt like an eternity.

It was over.

Whatever Matias and I had, it was officially done, and my heart withered inside. Some part of me knew it would never work out, not when everything happened with Chelsea, but I had hoped. I had hoped that she would get better, and that things would be different. But that’s the problem with hope…it was empty. Nothing but an illusion of something that never existed in the first place. Just your mind playing tricks on you, making you think that there was something better on the other side.

I closed my eyes as tears rolled softly down my cheeks. My heart slowed, finally coming down from the rush of my encounter with Matias as the sorrow piled into it, weighing it down like bricks of grief. I inhaled slowly through my nose and held my breath. There wasn’t much I could do now. Matias made his choice, and mine was made for me. It was done.

With a sigh, I breathed out the weight I felt in my chest, opening my eyes. I glanced around the room, my eyes landing on the clock. It was almost time for dinner, and I still had to get ready. The last thing I needed was a pissed off Marissa on top of all the other crap. I would need to grieve my loss later. Right now, I had bigger problems—I had to focus on playing the part of the doting fiancé, and that role didn’t line up with being heartbroken over a recent break-up.

Shake it off, Mara.

Resolving myself, I got ready for dinner. The shower was easy enough to figure out. I only melted my skin off two or three times. No big deal. And then I faced the closet and its multitude of skirts, pants, shirts, shoes, dresses, and every accessory money could buy. I wasn’t going to lie, it was a little intimidating. In Telvia I had lots of clothes, but this was ridiculous. Made worse by the fact that I had just spent most of the spring and summer living in tactical gear, cargos, and t-shirts. Having this many options suddenly felt overwhelming.

And don’t even get me started on the undergarments. I was afraid to even come close to the skank trap Edith set up for me. I just wanted a regular bra and underwear. I wasn’t interested in lace, ribbons, and G-strings. To my relief, I found a small collection of regular intimates. The kind that are actually comfortable and every girl secretly prefers wearing when she’s not fishing for a dude. Granny panties for the win!

I wasn’t sure what dinner consisted of at Castle Calvernon, but I suspected it wasn’t anything too different from Telvia—except for the food situation, of course. When I was little, I attended a Council function wearing jeans and a t-shirt. And my parents flipped a lid on me. The lecture that day comprised of always being dressed to impress and better to be overdressed than underdressed. It was a mistake I never made again.

Opting to keep my butt from being chewed out for being too casual, I opted for a black pencil skirt that rested at my knees and a white, scoop neck top that fit my upper body nicely. A pair of black leather flats completed the simple outfit. Not too fancy, but just nice enough. I ran the brush through my hair, feeling the silky strands flow through my fingers until all the knots disappeared, and left my hair down. I couldn’t even remember the last time I didn’t have it tied up tightly in a regimented bun. I’d been living in the barracks for so long, I’d forgotten what it was like to wear normal clothing and have my hair loose and flowing, resting along my back. There was something freeing about it. Something that felt good to be out of the regimented army life I’d been growing accustomed to.

Knock, knock, knock.

The sound startled me. A quick glance at the clock showed me it was dinner time, which meant this was probably the staff member that was supposed to show me the way to the dining room. I took in a deep breath, feeling the twinge of my lungs being overextended, and held it, counting to four before slowly letting out my breath.

My stomach grumbled, but not from hunger, from angst. I had a monumental job to do. I had to put on a show like I’d never done before in my life. And, as far as I was concerned, I wasn’t a good actress. How the hell was I going to convince these people that I was going to marry their son when I had every intention of hightailing it out of here the moment my brother was safe? That was a tall order.

But I had done this before, right? I lived my whole life in Telvia pretending I was the beloved daughter of the presidential family. Not the bastard child I really was—the great disappointment that hid her marks of shame under expensive trappings and pretty smiles.

I could do this. I could convince them.

But what about Wes?

My heart seized at the thought. He was going to be the hardest one to persuade. He had a knack for unraveling me and leaving me sputtering like an idiot. The thought of deceiving him, of convincing him of something that wasn’t real…it didn’t feel good. It felt downright wrong.

Knock, knock.

I looked at the door. “Coming.” I couldn’t deal with all of this right now. Right now, I just had to focus on being nice and polite. I could do that. Just smile and nod. When I had time later, I could figure out the rest of it. For now, it was just smile and nod. With another deep breath, I walked to the door and opened it.

Tall, lean legs clothed in black slacks stood before me, with hands nestled into the pockets in a relaxed pose. As my eyes rose, they were greeted by a tight-fitting black shirt with sleeves that hugged the curves of his biceps in the most delicious way. And eyes…those hazel eyes that ensnared me every time—gorgeous amber, flecks of green, and liquid gold. Wes’s blond hair was combed back into a low ponytail, making him look older, smoldering, and dangerous.

Everything about him was clean, smooth, and crisp. Mature and tasty. And I realized suddenly that I was at a loss for words. My heart fluttered, thumping to an irregular beat that had me feeling unsteady on my feet. It took me a second to realize I was standing there, staring, with my jaw hanging wide open. Because Wes…well, he looked good. Like, really good, and the total lethal attraction I felt was pooling deep inside of me.

Oh holy mother…

“What took you so long?”

“Huh?”

Wes shifted his weight as he pulled his hands out of his pockets and crossed his arms. “Did you get lost finding the door or something?”

It wasn’t a real question, and it dripped with sarcasm. Typical Wes. Always ready with a verbal quip made to make you feel like an idiot. I had to get a grip. One second I’m grieving over the loss of a guy that was never really my boyfriend to begin with, and the next I’m slobbering over a sexy beast at my door. Get your shit together, Mara!

Wes cocked an eyebrow at me, but his expression remained blank. “Mara?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry. I’m just a little overwhelmed, you know? New house,” I tugged on my shirt, “new wardrobe, lava shower…you know, all that stuff.”

His eyes flickered a moment, but his brow dropped as he stepped back away from the door. “Yeah, I can see that.” An awkward second ticked by before he cleared his throat. “I was told to come get you for dinner. Ready?”

“I’m ready.” I looked away from him, trying my best to regain some of my composure as I stepped out into the hallway. I was so not ready.

Wes held out his arm in front of him, motioning me in an after you gesture before placing his hands back in his pockets. With a deep breath, I took the steps before me, unease replacing the attraction in my stomach. He fell along beside me, walking quietly, which only magnified the awkward experience.

As we walked down the hall, a thought resurfaced. How much did Wes know? Did he know why I was living with them now? Did he know he was supposed to marry me? And if he knew, how long had he known? What did he think about it? Was he totally pissed off? Or…or was he fine with it? Or…happy? Conflicting emotions fluttered through me, and I shuddered at what the possible answers could be.

“Cold?”

My thoughts interrupted, I looked at him and almost gasped when I caught his smile. I seldom saw Wes smile. He was always pissed off about something, or scowling. But when he smiled, it softened him, made him look devilish and handsome. He was always so strong, like a rock that could never be shattered. But when Wes smiled, it brought out his humanity, and that was my favorite part. “A smile looks good on you,” I ventured.

His eyes widened for a second before his brows furrowed in confusion. “What? I always smile.”

I scoffed. “Oh yeah, sure you do. You’re like, the worst at smiling.”

He stopped, facing me as he pulled his hands out of his pockets. “I smile,” he asserted defensively.

“Not often,” I teased, stating the obvious, taking only another step or two before turning to face him.

He grew serious, his gaze drifting to the floor. “Well, maybe there’s not much to smile about.”

What was that supposed to mean? Was he talking about me? About having to marry me? I opened my mouth, the words hanging on the tip of my tongue before he spoke.

“Come on, we’re going to be late for dinner.” He started walking past me as my mouth hung open, the questions stuck in my throat.

I had to know. I needed to know what I was dealing with, and how hard it was going to be. “Wes?”

He paused, his back facing me as his shoulders stiffened. He turned his head slightly to the left toward me, but never turned around. And then he was silent…waiting.

I dug inside of myself to pull out what little courage I had left. “Do…do you know why I’m here?”

Silence. Wes shifted his gaze back to the floor, back stiffening further as he swallowed hard. “Yes.”

My heart spasmed as my body grew hot. “So, you know about…about us?”

He didn’t move. Nothing moved for several seconds before he gave one definitive nod.

Oh god…he knows. He knows, and he’s pissed about it. The knowledge swept through me like a tornado. Trying my best to shake off the cocktail of emotions coursing through me, I pressed on. “How long have you known?”

Wes tilted his head back, looking at the ceiling before sighing heavily. Finally, he turned around to face me, his expression stoic as ever. “A while.”

What? A while? How could he have…? “I don’t understand. Sasha only asked me about it a few days ago. How could you have known for a while?”

Wes blinked, taking in deep, even breaths. “One thing you’re going to learn, Mara, one way or another, is that everyone’s always scheming. And the worst part is, they rarely scheme with their own lives. It’s always fucking around with someone else’s.”

His words struck me, ringing in a truth I was already beginning to see.

Deception.

Lies.

Half-truths.

Schemes.

Everyone here—everyone everywhere—was always playing games. It was the stupid freaking chess game I’d been caught up in since day one. And I just couldn’t escape it.

Now knowing that he knew, I wanted answers. What did a while really mean? And was that why he went on that mission with me? Did he do it because he felt obligated? “How long have you known?”

Wes placed his hands back in his pockets, eyes unblinking as he looked past me. “Couple of weeks.”

“Did you know before the Admin Job?”

His face pinched as he shrugged his shoulders. “Does it really matter?”

“Yes!” Of course it freaking mattered.

“Why?” He shot back.

“Why?”

“Yes, Mara. Why? Why does it matter when I found out? It doesn’t change anything,” he glowered back.

“It changes everything!” Was he dense or something? It mattered. It totally mattered.

He crossed his arms, muscles stretching the cotton of his sleeves. “And what does it change, Mara? What changes when you find out that I knew and you didn’t? What changes when I tell you that it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the moment my brother died, I was going to have to take his place? That whatever duty he had to the North was going to be my own fucking cross to bear? My burden to carry whether I liked it or not.”

Ouch! That hurt. That hurt a lot. Way more than I would have thought, and it stung. Nausea curled up and tossed itself in the pit of my stomach as acid burned in the back of my throat. I understood his position. I understood he didn’t want anything to do with his responsibilities as the new First Son of the North. But… “I’m a burden?” The words slipped out before my better judgment could take back control.

His eyes flickered as the scowl slipped from his face and his expression went blank. “What?”

“I’m a cross to bear? That’s what you said, right?”

Understanding clicked into place, and his eyes softened. “That’s not what I meant—”

“You knew,” I cut him off, not wanting to hear any pitiful excuses. “Or at least you suspected all along that you were going to have to marry me, didn’t you?”

“That’s not what I said.” He uncrossed his arms, taking a step toward me, but I put a hand up, halting him in his steps.

“No wonder why you hated me all this time—”

“Mara—”

“No,” I shot back. “Don’t try to change the story, Wes. You made it clear from the very beginning how you felt about me. No wonder why you showed up that day at the river with a knife. Killing me was a better outcome than being stuck with your brother’s hand-me-downs.”

His eyes blazed as his face grew stern. “That’s not fair, Mara. I would never hurt you—”

“Yeah, because Matias didn’t give you the chance!”

“That’s not true,” he growled, jaw clenched. “Do you think that if I really wanted to hurt you, I wouldn’t have done it by now? There were hundreds of opportunities, and not once did I try anything.”

I snickered, “Oh, well, excuse me if I don’t hand you an award for not murdering me.”

Wes threw his hands up in exasperation. “You know what? I don’t have to take this. I don’t have to take this shit and explain myself to you.”

“Oh yes, you do! You owe me a big explanation,” I insisted as I leaned toward him, finger pointed.

Wes rolled his shoulders back. “Why? So you can argue with me the whole time about what did or didn’t happen?”

“Because I deserve to know what the hell is going on! I deserve to know the truth, Wes. I deserve to know who’s messing around with my life!” I stepped toward him, his body stiffening as I encroached on his space. “I deserve to know what scheming has been going on because it’s not just about you anymore, Wes. It’s about us. We’re both being pushed and pulled and paraded around like little puppets on a string. Don’t you think I’m just as freaking tired as you are of people manipulating my life?” The words flowed out of me…words I didn’t even know I felt. I was tired of being caught off guard, of being told where to go and what to do. I wanted control of my own damn life!

Our bodies were close. I didn’t even realize I had stepped so far into Wes’s personal space that mere inches stood between us. I guess some part of me thought he would step back, but he didn’t. He held his ground, eyes burning amber as he looked down at me. His body was rigid as stone, heat pouring off of him, enveloping me in the spicy scent of his cologne. And I held his gaze, holding my ground too. I breathed him in, and time suspended, the tension climbing as I waited for his reply.

Emotion passed through him so fast, I couldn’t tell what I was witnessing, and then he exhaled softly, shoulders collapsing in defeat. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He shifted his gaze away from me, turning his face to the side. “I didn’t know for sure until a few weeks ago. But I had suspected this was coming.” He turned his gaze back on me, features soft and eyes glistening as they caught the light. “I should have told you Sasha was going to corner you on this.”

Wow. He was admitting fault. Wes was actually backing down to me. My heart fluttered at the realization. “Thank you. I…I appreciate that.”

Taking a slow breath, he nodded. We sat in silence for several seconds before Wes finally took a step away from me. His fist to his lips, he gently cleared his throat and then offered me his arm.

I cocked a brow. The whole thing felt so natural, so reminiscent of days long gone, that I couldn’t help but smile at his attempt of chivalry. Slowly, I slipped my arm around his, feeling my heart patter for a delicate moment in time.

“Ready to enter the lion’s den?” he asked.

“Curious choice of words. Am I about to become prey?”

Wes chuckled, casting his gaze to the ground before looking back at me with one of his devious, devilish smirks. “You have no idea.”

21: Wealth. Power. Survival. Revenge.

“Good of you to finally join us.” Marissa Calvernon was still clothed in her satin dress, but pearls accented her neck and decorated the lobes of her ears. The dining room was decorated similarly as the rest of the castle—stone walls, gold candelabras, elaborate tapestries on the long wall to the left, and a row of stained-glass windows on the wall to the right.

Where the Presidential Palace fancied white marbles, crystals, and lace, the Calvernon Estate was all medieval castle with dark stones, heavy red fabrics, and iron. The only thing they shared was a propensity for gold accenting. As different as the dining rooms were, the luxury and wealth of the room sent a shudder down my spine as memories of awkward family dinners danced in my mind.

“Miss de la Puente, you’ll sit over there,” the First Lady pointed at an empty chair at the northern end of the long antique table. I’d been so busy taking in the room, I failed to notice the eighteen occupied chairs, most of whom contained faces I didn’t recognize. But one caught my eye.

Sasha sat at the head of the southern end of the table, opposite to a man with graying brown hair, clean shaven, and stunning green eyes. He was handsome, and although he bore little resemblance to his sons, I knew instantly that this was Charles Calvernon, leader of the North. I also saw Sergeant Major Giza, and, to my dismay, Fisher.

“Come, Wes,” Marissa called as she walked to join her husband’s side. Wes cast me a quick glance, the smirk he’d been wearing falling into a stoic expression devoid of emotion as he took the seat next to mine.

I glanced at Sasha, who smiled at me. “Good evening, Mara.”

“Hi,” I squeaked out, causing Sasha to raise a single brow before shifting her attention away from me.

I turned away from her and slipped into my chair, looking at all the other faces that I didn’t recognize. I leaned over to Wes and whispered, “Who are all of these people?”

“Members of the original Council. Reps from the North and East,” he muttered under his breath.

I sat back, wrapping my brain around the information. I leaned over again. “Why are they all here?”

Wes shrugged his shoulders. So, it wasn’t typical to have dinner on a random weeknight with the whole Council of the UFA. Interesting…

“Good evening, everyone.” Charles stood up, a smile lighting up his face. And, unlike my own father, Charles’s smile was warm and bright. “It is good of you all to join us. I invited you all to dinner tonight to officially welcome Miss Mara de la Puente to our home and to the North.” He shifted his gaze to me, as did everyone else in the room, and I instantly felt my cheeks flush with warmth.

“Uh, hi,” the words croaked out as I waved my hand timidly.

“I know I haven’t officially introduced myself, Miss de la Puente, but I’m Charles Calvernon, and I am happy to welcome the First Daughter of Telvia to Calvernon Estate. Marissa and I”—he motioned to his wife who smiled, but the expression didn’t reach her eyes—“are happy to host you in our home and welcome you into our family.”

My lips parted at the last bit, the mention of me being welcomed into his family. But before I could utter a single sound, he continued.

“As we come toward the last quarter of the year, I wish to remind us all of what we have lost.” Taking his wife’s hand, a solemn look stole the joy he once expressed. “Loss is a heavy burden, and we have all lost so much.”

My heart tightened, because I knew exactly what he was talking about, who he was talking about. And I was reminded, suddenly, that although it felt like an entire lifetime had gone by, Chase’s death was only five months ago, and this family was still in the throes of grieving the loss of their favored son.

Charles took his cloth napkin and dabbed his eye briefly before clearing his throat and continuing. “Our son was our pride and joy, destined to do great things. The promise of all that is good rested in his hands.” I stole a quick glance at Wes, but his face had gone blank, eyes dark. My heart broke for him. Not only was Wes still grieving and experiencing his parents’ grief, but announcements like these had to be a bitter reminder that he was not the son the Calvernons wanted to survive. Or at least that’s what Wes believed.

Charles cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. “But, alas, he died a hero’s death, fighting for a cause that is dear to all our hearts.” He paused, looking at his guests, allowing the silence to deepen. When he seemed satisfied, he held his head high and continued.

“Today, the Council met to discuss the future of the rebellion. The raid at the rebel camp was a disastrous blow to the Dissenter cause, leaving the number of those willing to sacrifice their lives dangerously low and supplies limited. We also cannot forget the threat that Telvia and its ruler are to all of us, to every region. We all know that Raúl will not stop until he has gained control of all factions, amassing an empire living under one ruthless dictator. None of us are safe while Raúl de la Puente continues to exist.”

Movement caught my attention as some individuals shifted in their chairs, glares and accusatory glances resting on me. I resisted the urge to crawl under the table and die. Instead, I swallowed—hard—and tried to keep my focus on Charles.

He picked up his glass, holding it out in front of him. “Despite the losses we have faced, we have much to celebrate. Because today, today the Council has taken steps to ensure not only the survival of the rebel cause, but the independence of each region. Today, we celebrate the survival of President De’vor, dear friend and ally.” I glanced at Sasha, who smiled at Charles, lifting her own glass in front of her. “Today, we celebrate a special collaboration, one that will reinstate the union and camaraderie that has been upheld and cherished between the future leader of Telvia and the North.”

Whoa now! I looked back at Sasha, who stood tall and proud. Sasha was going to become the future leader of Telvia? Is that what she was really after all along? I had to be misunderstanding something. I glanced at Wes, our eyes meeting as a similar look of confusion riddled his face.

“Today,” Charles continued, “we celebrate the promised union of the North with the future Telvian nation.”

My mind tumbled over itself. What the hell is going on?

“Today, we celebrate the promising of my son, Wes Calvernon, to the First Daughter of Telvia, Mara de la Puente.” I felt hot as all eyes fell on me and Wes, and the urge to crawl under the table resurfaced. Raising his glass high into the air, Charles declared, “A toast!”

“Cheers,” cried the room, but I didn’t even notice. My world was spinning. I knew Wes and I were betrothed and all, but this whole Sasha-as-the-new-leader-of-Telvia thing seemed to come out of left field.

Wealth.

Power.

Survival.

Revenge.

Sasha’s words rang through my head. I closed my eyes, shutting the world out as the realization hit me hard. I knew Sasha’s brother had been the former president of the West. But I never stopped to think about what would happen when Raúl was removed from power. I never thought about who would take over or how the whole thing would go down after the revolution was done. I guess I just assumed that a new president would be elected. I never stopped to think about it with any depth.

But Sasha had told me everything I needed to know that day in the Situation Room, hadn’t she? She warned me that everyone was motivated by four things. I knew she was talking about the Calvernons, but I just failed to read between the lines and apply those same four motives to her. I opened my eyes, feeling my stomach churn as the smell of food invaded my senses. I felt sick.

Wes bumped my shoulder softly, and I turned to see furrowed brows and questioning eyes. “You okay?” I grimaced, but gave him a quick nod before I turned away from him.

“What about a gala?” Fisher’s voice weaseled in through my thoughts.

Who, what, when now? What was this about a gala? I tuned back into the room as Charles spoke up.

“Yes! Excellent idea, Gary. A gala would be a marvelous way to announce the engagement.”

A different woman spoke up. “We could set it out in two weeks. That would give us time to prepare.”

“Yes! Yes!” Charles exclaimed. His exuberance appeared genuine, but all I felt was more and more nausea.

What the hell was happening? What was going on now?

“Perhaps,” Fisher pipped in again, “we could have him propose to her at the gala. It would be like a fairytale. The people would love it!”

Charles slammed his fist on the table, causing all the dishes to clatter. “Yes! A wonderful way to lift the spirits of the people.”

“It might even help to bring more people to our cause,” Sasha added.

Oh my god…they were talking about me, about us. This whole thing was going to be some giant show, a giant parade of propaganda. Not only was I going to have to go through with getting engaged, but I was going to have to do it in front of an audience. I just…I couldn’t do this anymore. I felt my stomach twist and turn. And this time, I was pretty sure I was going to throw up.

“Excuse me.” I barely got the words out as I pushed my chair away from the table and left the room.

22: Optics

Iwish there was an award for making it to the bathroom on time before puking all over the place. Because if there was, I would have nailed it with an incredible photo finish. In trying to make it back to my room, I found a random guest bathroom in the hallway, not too far from the dining room. There wasn’t much in my stomach to begin with, but it settled the nausea and brought relief. I sat on the stone floor, cradling the porcelain throne as sweat peppered my brow and the torrential queasiness calmed at last. Heavy breaths fell out of me as my body trembled from the experience. But it settled too, and I finally felt strong enough to stand.

I turned around and found the pedestal sink waiting for me. Turning on the water, I felt the cool, soothing liquid flow over my cupped hands. Bringing it to my lips, I sipped it, swished it around vigorously, and then spat out the aftertaste. With the taste gone, I sipped more water, but this time, I drank it greedily to soothe the acidic burn in my throat and stomach. Finally, I splashed the liquid over my face, feeling it wash away the sweat. It felt good, and a sense of calm finally came over me.

What did I get myself into? I had slipped right into the lion’s den, played right into Sasha’s hand. My brother’s life in exchange for her victory and power grab. The joke was going to be on her though, when I disappeared with Jacob and she was left answering to the North. That brought a smirk to my face. Then, I was reminded why I got so sick in the first place.

A gala.

A big show.

It was one thing to quietly play the part, but it was a totally different thing to waltz around a region, being shown off as the future doting wife of the First Son of the North. The wife to…

Wes.

My stomach churned, threatening once again. That was the bigger problem, wasn’t it? It was one thing to quietly go along, to remain a shadow in the background. But it was a totally different story to parade around with Wes. To make him think…

No. He wouldn’t believe it anyway. He didn’t want to marry me any more than I wanted to marry him. He made that clear enough. I was his brother’s burden, laid down on his lap without his consent or desire.

No, he didn’t want to marry me. I would be doing him a favor in the end. Giving him an out. I breathed in deeply as I splashed my face with more water, allowing the cool liquid to soothe my soul once again. It was all for the best.

Taking in a deep breath, I turned off the water and grabbed a hand towel hanging from a ring on the wall to dry my face. Do I go back to dinner, or do I call it a night? The mere thought of food sent my insides turning again. Clearly, my body had a strong preference for calling it a night. With one last shaky breath, I replaced the towel, put my hand on the knob, and opened the bathroom door.

“There you are.”

I jumped, startled by the person I least expected to see. Satin dress, pearls, golden locks, hazel eyes—Marissa. “Jesus,” my hand flew to my chest, covering my thundering heart. “You scared me.”

Her face remained stoic, elegant, clean. No emotion peeked through, no hint at what thoughts circled her mind. “I apologize. My intent wasn’t to startle you.”

“Yeah, sure. It’s fine,” I breathed out as I worked to steady myself. I decided this night needed to be over. I took several steps out of the bathroom and around the queen of the castle.

“You left the table so abruptly. Is everything all right?” Still no emotion. The words conveyed concern, but nothing displayed itself on her face.

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine.” I took another step around her, and this time, she mimicked my movement. And all of a sudden, déjà vu hit me. The last time I circled something like this was a lion in the mountains of the rebel camp. And that’s exactly what it felt like. Like Marissa was the most elegant predatory cat alive, and we were dancing a circle of death.

“Glad to hear it.” Once again, the words were emotionless.

Hell, now I knew where Wes got all his serious, stone-cold, stoic BS from. He definitely came by it honestly. I was ready to take the nearest exit out of whatever the hell this was. “Well, I…I’m going to head back to my room since I don’t feel good. Have a nice dinner.” I turned to face the hall, ready to book it as quickly down to my room as I could—

“Mara?”

I froze in place. But when she didn’t say anything after a few seconds, I slowly turned around to face her. “Yes?”

“A lady doesn’t leave the table in the middle of dinner without properly excusing herself. Especially with guests present, and especially when her engagement,” she placed extra emphasis on the word, “is being discussed.” Marissa’s words came out cool this time. Less like a lecture or the instructional words of a mentor, and more like the disdain of a disappointed stepparent. And suddenly, I felt right at home in the most horrible way.

An old, sinking feeling slowly crept back into my gut. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better next time.” I wanted out. Needed out. Just as I was about to turn again, she called me once more.

“Mara…”

I gulped, but rolled my shoulders back as I lifted my gaze to her calculating one. “Yes?”

“As long as you remain engaged to my son, you will remember your position.”

My brows knitted together. What was that supposed to mean? “I don’t—”

“As the future lady of this house,” she cut in sharply, “you will conduct yourself in a way that honors him and this family.”

Okay, now I was really confused. Were we still talking about dinner? I opened my mouth to question again, but she continued.

“I don’t want to hear of male visitors going to your sleeping quarters again.”

Heat flushed my cheeks. “Oh, Mrs. Calvernon, he’s a friend and—”

“Never again,” she emphasized. “A lady in your position should know how things look from the outside, no matter what the truth may be. It’s about optics, Miss de la Puente. And you will learn to always keep optics in mind for as long as you remain the future First Lady of the North.”

I slowly exhaled, feeling rotten and judged. I nodded in agreement.

“Good. Now that that’s settled, you are excused.”

The dismissal felt more like a rejection, but I didn’t move. Keeping my eyes on her, I stated the obvious truth lingering between us. “You don’t want me to marry him.”

Her eyes glistened then. “No.”

I knew the answer, but it didn’t stop it from stinging. “Then why agree to it? Why agree to him marrying me?”

Marissa exhaled slowly through her nose, and then spoke. “Charles has grand aspirations for the North. Let’s just say my opinion didn’t matter.”

Oof! I kind of felt bad for her. She was Wes’s mom. She deserved to have a say. But her thoughts didn’t matter. Not when expanding an empire was on the line.

“I’m sorry.” The words left my mouth before I had a chance to even think them through. But no sooner did I say it, I knew I meant it. I was sorry. I was sorry for her. I was sorry for Wes. I was sorry for myself. “I-I’ll do my best not to disappoint you.”

“Oh,” she said with an emotionless smile, “it’s too late for that.”

Ouch… If I didn’t feel like I was back in Telvia before, I definitely felt like it now. I had no response for her. Not one. I just nodded, acknowledging the insult, and took it in. I turned to leave.

“Mara?”

Oh no…what now? I inhaled deeply, mustering my courage to look back at her again. “Yes?”

Marissa stood up taller, tipping her chin as she looked at me under hooded eyes. The effect made her look meek and shy, but I was quickly learning better. “I already lost one son to you and your family. I don’t plan on losing another.”

I frowned. What was that supposed to mean? “Is that a threat?”

A perfectly manicured brow arched as Marissa gave me another emotionless smile. “A lady never threatens, Mara. She makes promises.”

23: Stupid Grape

That whole thing was not my favorite. It was clear to me that Marissa hated me and wanted nothing to do with me as a daughter. Nothing new there. I had tons of experience with mother figures who didn’t want me. I was primed for this.

But it didn’t make it hurt any less.

It didn’t matter in the end anyway. Nothing was going to happen, so there was no point in wasting time or energy feeling bad about a woman I had no intention of winning over. I just had to make peace with her, navigate this whole engagement thing carefully, and focus on my main objective: to get Jacob back. Once I had him, the rest of it wouldn’t matter anymore. We’d be gone.

After Marissa’s ominous “promise,” I went straight back to my room and passed out, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster that was my life. The following morning, I ended up sleeping in. I was so used to the damn horns blaring in the barracks, I half expected to hear them ringing at the castle, too. But, as it turned out, when you were the future First Lady, no one bothered you and they let you sleep as long as you wanted. And boy, did I sleep…until eleven in the morning, actually. I couldn’t remember the last time I slept in. Probably back at Edith’s when I was living with her following my release from the hospital.

It felt good.

But as the sun continued to climb, it shined through the stained-glass window, casting brilliant colors across the walls. I woke up bleary-eyed, and sat there for a moment, trying to give my brain the chance to process everything that happened in the past twenty-four hours.

Sasha was going to become the new president of Telvia when everything was over. Marissa didn’t want me to marry Wes and made some interesting comments that made me think I needed to be extra cautious around her. Wes didn’t want to marry me either, but always suspected he was going to have to. And that helped explain why he was always a major ass to me and kept telling me to leave the rebel camp. No Mara meant no marriage.

So where did that leave me?

In exactly the same place. None of it changed anything. I needed to rescue my brother from the tower ASAP because he had less than two months to live before Raúl burned him alive in the Telvian colosseum. And that meant I needed to talk to Sasha. Several days had passed since I agreed to being the bargaining chip in this whole parade, and last night it was announced to the entire UFA Council.

It was official. I had fulfilled my side of the bargain. Now it was her turn, and I hadn’t heard a single word from her except for last night’s dinner. In fact, I hadn’t spoken or heard from anyone…no one had mentioned a rescue operation or discussed a timeline with me, or anything. So, that was next on my list. If Sasha wasn’t going to get this ball rolling, then I sure as hell would.

And with that, I was off. I showered, dried my hair, and dressed myself in jeans, a black t-shirt, and a pair of tennis shoes. I had to admit, I enjoyed getting to choose my clothes again. It was a little overwhelming with a closet the size of a park, but it was also kind of fun. I even got to brush my hair, straighten it, and leave it down. I’d forgotten how long it really was. Wearing it in tight buns all the time in the barracks meant I rarely took the time to really look at it—or myself, for that matter—anymore.

After getting dressed, I was off. I left my room before realizing I didn’t really know where to go, but bumped into a maid who became a helpful source of information. She shared my mini-tab had a contact entitled Calvernon Estate Staff that allowed me to ask for anything I needed at any time. Ten minutes later I was picked up by Roger, one of the chauffeurs, and whisked off to Fort Warren to find Sasha.

***

The drive through the city reminded me of how different Telvia was, and how lost. It was a city of lies, living in fear and believing in tales of scarcity. But the North only proved Raúl more and more wrong. And the silent drive only emphasized to me how much my father needed to be taken down, and someone else put in his place. At that moment, I realized I didn’t care who replaced Raúl. It just had to be someone who was going to do better, be better. Although I didn’t really know Sasha that well, I had seen enough to know that she was going to be a million times better than my father. If she ran Telvia the way she ran the Dissenters, then Telvia had a bright future in front of it.

The realization softened some of the frustration I felt toward her and eased the anxiety that kicked up from the night before. What it didn’t change, however, was my need to get this rescue mission on the road so I could get the hell out of Dodge before I was stuck actually marrying Wes. Because there was no way I was going to do that. After Chase and Matias, I was seriously jaded on the whole love story thing. As far as I was concerned, being a single cat lady sounded pretty good.

After driving for just over an hour, we approached the base. The limo with the Calvernon family crest painted on the side granted us easy access into Fort Warren, and Roger drove me to the main administration building, parking right in front.

Opening my door, he gave me a big smile and chipper attitude. “Here you are, Miss de la Puente.”

“Thank you.” Stepping out of the car, I took in the familiar gray world of the base.

“Of course, miss. I’ll park the car. When you’re ready, just message me, and I’ll meet you here out front.”

“Got it.” And with that, Roger stepped back into the limo and drove off. I turned to face the administration building, all red brick and beautifully molded white cements, depicting leaves and swirls and scrolls. With a quick clearing of my throat, I marched inside.

I remembered there was a secretary’s desk, and so I figured she’d know where Sasha’s office might be. Through the front doors, I walked into the lobby and up to the desk. The woman, dressed in her regulatory uniform and tight bun, glanced up at me.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m looking for Sasha De’vor. Is she here?”

“President De’vor is in her office. Is she expecting you?”

“She should be.” It was a lie, but it felt so true in my heart. If Sasha didn’t expect me to show up here, demanding we get this party started, then she didn’t know me at all.

“I’ll let her know you’re here. Just have a seat.”

I stepped away from the desk, but my angst made me restless. I stood by the window and looked out at the base. Nothing but rows of identical looking, square cement buildings. My stomach growled, reminding me that skipping dinner and breakfast was not my stomach’s idea of a good time. The whole remembering to eat thing was kind of a drag. As much as I enjoyed savoring real food, it was a time suck when you were busy and had stuff to do. And, of course, I was terrible at remembering to eat meals on my own. I’m going to have to get food after this.

“Miss, President De’vor is ready to see you.”

Perfect.

I nodded and followed the woman down the left hall, took a turn, and then stopped in front of a door with a nameplate that read Sasha’s name. She knocked on the door and then opened it, leading me in.

“President De’vor, your guest.”

I stepped around the secretary, immediately catching Sasha’s gaze. Her face gave nothing away, but she smiled and dismissed the woman before returning her attention to me. The door clicked closed behind us.

“Mara, I wasn’t expecting you. But, then again, I suppose I should have.” She extended her hand out in front of her, motioning to a chair on the opposite side of her desk. “Would you like to sit? Or are you going to stand like the last time we met?”

I bristled. Why is it always a power struggle with her now? Ever since that day in the hospital when she promised to rescue Jacob, I constantly felt like I was playing the hardest game of chess ever, and my brother’s life was on the line. It was unsettling, and I hated it. I wasn’t cut out for all of this political nonsense. And yet, here I was. Standing taller, I took the seat.

“Can I get you anything? Tea, perhaps?”

Food!

“Actually, can I get something to eat?”

Sasha’s eyes glimmered as she reached for the intercom box on her desk and pushed a button. “Lindy, can I get tea and a sandwich delivered to my office?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Thank you, Lindy.” Sasha let go of the button and returned her attention to me. “There. Lunch is on the way. Now, what do you need, child?”

Though her facial expressions convened warmth, something about her tone spoke of annoyance. I couldn’t blame her, really. I did just show up and interrupt whatever it was she was doing. I took a deep breath, trying to settle the growing angst inside me. “I want to start planning Jacob’s rescue. I’ve done my part, so it’s time to do yours.”

Sasha leaned back in her chair, lacing her fingers and placing them in her lap. “And what makes you think I haven’t done mine?”

Wait…did she? Did she already rescue him? “Uh…did you—”

“Of course not. You and I only just agreed to our bargain several days ago. That’s not nearly enough time to plan an operation of this magnitude.”

I was confused. “So…I don’t get your question then.”

Sasha sighed heavily, exasperation painted across the lines of her face. “Child, you jump from one assumption to the other, leaping from one theory to the next. It’s a bad habit to be in. If you ever expect to survive the political game you are stuck in, it would behoove you to stop following whimsy and stick to the facts.”

Just the mention of me living a life in the same political chaos I grew up in caused acid to climb up my throat. “Don’t get me wrong, but your question seems pretty simple to me. I want to talk about rescuing Jacob and you shoot back that you’ve already done it.”

“Wrong again, child. You assumed I had done nothing to keep my end of the bargain in your brother’s rescue. Your assumption is wrong. That’s what I was pointing out. Never did I say I had already completed my end of the bargain. You lack focus and attention. You need to listen to the words that are spoken and hear the unspoken message without allowing your emotions to cloud the message you receive.”

“Well, sorry if I’m not used to deciphering cryptic half-truths—”

“I would think you would be an expert after living in the Presidential Palace.”

Oh, she had me there. “Okay, whatever, Sasha. I’m not here to do this with you. What have you done so far to save my brother?”

Silence fell between us for a moment until Sasha shifted in her seat. “I have people working on the mission as we speak. We’ve taken the information you retrieved from the Admin Job and have determined our best course of action. I hope to have the mission parameters defined, and the team selected and ready in less than four weeks.”

My annoyance lifted. Three to four weeks felt like ages to wait for my brother, especially since there was a gala I was going to have to attend before then. But, in reality, I knew less than four weeks was a quick turnaround for an operation like this. I had to give it to her…she was doing her part.

I nodded, relaxing a bit. “Okay, that’s…that’s great, actually. Thank you.”

Sasha tipped her head. “You’re welcome.”

“How soon will you pick the team?”

“Well, we have less than a month to get this mission underway. And to be successful, our team will need every second we can afford them to prepare. I hope to have them selected this week.”

This week? “Oh…” This was all a pleasant surprise. I didn’t know how to explain it. I came in here expecting to push Sasha into doing something to help my brother, only to discover that she was already on it. And then, not only was she on it, she was going to be selecting a team this week, which was great news. But then…why did I feel so weird about it?

“I’m glad to see that I have not disappointed you, child.”

“Yeah…” My mind was trying to decipher why I wasn’t happier about the news. I sighed, trying to clear the thoughts from my head.

Knock, knock.

“Come in,” Sasha called. The door opened, and a man pushed a small trolley into the room with a teapot, cups, sandwich, and an assortment of fruit. “You can just bring it over here,” she motioned. “Thank you.” The man set the trolley beside us and quickly left the room, closing the door behind him. “Tea?”

I nodded and watched Sasha pour the caramel-colored liquid into a cup. I reached for the sandwich and took a nourishing bite, my mouth watering and stomach cramping at the smell of food.

Oh god, this is so good.

“There you are, child. Better?”

I closed my eyes, chewing, relishing the taste. I nodded a couple of times and then opened my eyes, covered my mouth, and said “thank you” around the bread, meat, and cheese melting on my tongue.

“Good. Now, is there anything else I can assist you with? Or may I return to my work?”

“Mmm…” I mumbled as I finished chewing and swallowing. “Yeah, sorry I bugged you.”

“Not at all, child. I understand.”

“So,” I took another bite and spoke through the mouthful. “Are we training here?” I swallowed. “Or is there another training facility where we’re going to prep?”

Sasha sat up, brows furrowed. “Training? Training for what?”

“Training for the mission…to save my brother,” I added. “You know, prepping for it?”

Sasha’s eyes flickered as recognition dawned on her face. “Ah, I understand. Well,” she said as she cleared her throat. “The team will prepare here on base.”

I leaned over and plucked a grape on the fruit tray, popping it into my mouth and loving the sudden burst of cool, sweet juice dancing on my tongue. “So, am I going to move back to the barracks for the training? Or are they going to drive me every day? Seems like kind of a long haul to drive back and forth each time.” I popped another grape into my mouth. Food was undeniably better than nourishment pills. Unless it tasted like crap. Then I would take a pill any day over nasty stuff.

Sasha shifted in her seat, her gaze looking away from me. “You’ll be staying at the estate.”

“Okay. Seems like a waste of gas, but fine.”

This time, Sasha sat up straighter as her gaze shifted to me. “Mara, you won’t be joining the team on this mission.”

That’s when I started choking on the stupid grape.

24: No Ticket, No Laundry

Ifreaking hate grapes!

I coughed, patting my chest to get the stupid pulp to clear my windpipe. Reaching for my cup, I swigged the hot liquid and swallowed, feeling the lump slowly crawl down my esophagus and finally clearing my airway.

Holy hell. I coughed twice more and took another sip of tea.

“Are you all right?”

“What do you mean I’m not going on the mission?” I demanded, ignoring her question.

Sasha sighed heavily as she rubbed her brow. “Child, I’m not going to argue with you. How does this come as a surprise? Nothing has changed since we left the camp. You were not allowed to go on the missions there because you were too valuable to the rebel cause. None of that has changed. In fact, you are of greater value now than you were then—”

“Sasha—” I started.

“Do not interrupt me,” she snapped back.

Whoa! I don’t think I had ever seen Sasha lose her temper before, and her sudden outburst shut me up out of pure surprise.

She breathed deeply as she tugged on her shirt to straighten any wrinkles and then sat up taller in her seat. “Now, you will not be going on this rescue operation. Without you, there is nothing to hold the Calvernon family to their promises. You are the only thing that keeps them in the game and willing to assist this rebellion. Now, I’ve been through this with you multiple times, child, and every time you disobey me and do as you wish. It ends here.”

I snorted. “Fat chance of that.”

Sasha glared. “You will follow orders or I will have you placed under house arrest.”

“What?” the word blurted out of my mouth.

“I’m warning you, Mara. I cannot have you in harm’s way. You are to remain at the Calvernon Estate, and you will not go on this mission.”

My temper flared. There was no way in hell I wasn’t going. I didn’t trust Sasha. “I’m going.”

“Don’t push me, child—”

“I’m going,” I shot back, raising my voice. “I don’t trust you, Sasha. Since the hospital, everything you’ve ever done has been double-sided.” I wasn’t blind anymore. All she wanted was power just like everyone else. And she was using me to do it. But I was tired of being used. I wanted my brother back.

Her eyes narrowed. “That’s quite the insult, and it is not deserved.”

“Oh, come off it, Sasha. The only reason you’ve done anything for me is because I’m your golden ticket back into Telvia. Don’t act like you care about me, or like you actually want to save my brother.”

She held my stare for a moment before she settled back into her chair. “Be that as it may, nothing changes. You should understand the need for me to keep you safe quite clearly. The answer is still no.”

“The answer is going to be yes,” I said as I leaned forward in my chair. “I don’t trust you. How do I know there’s even an actual operation going on, huh? For all I know, you could just be telling me one fat lie so that I think there’s a mission when there isn’t.”

Sasha’s eyes were calculating, emotions passing through as she pursed her lips. “Very well. I’ll place cameras on the team so you can watch the footage yourself.”

I paused, surprised by the offer. Camera footage would allow me to watch them, see the whole thing for myself. That was a legit option, but…but what if it was all faked? My entire life in Telvia was a fake, wasn’t it? Politicians could be quite deceiving and insanely clever with the lies and stories they told. What if a team was deployed, but it wasn’t real? Just a staged operation. Or, what if they did it, saved my brother, and then killed him or something?

No. No, I didn’t trust her. I didn’t trust anyone.

I shook my head. “No. I go. That’s the only way I’m doing this.” I caught her gaze and held it. “I go. I take the lead on the whole thing, and I pick my team. People I trust and I know will be with me on this.”

“That’s absurd. I will not let you go, and even if I did, you lack sufficient experience and training to lead an entire team on an operation like this.”

My fingers balled into fists, nails digging into my palms. “Fine. Then I pick a co-leader.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I’m not arguing with you, Sasha. Those are my demands. I go, I pick my co-leader, and I pick my team. That’s the deal, or I’m not marrying Wes. You lose your golden ticket into Telvia.”

Her eyes widened as her back went ramrod straight. “You’re being unreasonable—”

“You’re not winning this. You force me to stay, you lose your chances of winning Telvia back. The only way you possibly come out winning is if we do this my way.”

The tension was thick, and I watched as Sasha ground her teeth, and the little vein on the side of her head pulsed, looking as though it was about to rupture completely.

“Well?” I pushed, giving her a steely glare, trying my best to channel my inner Wes.

Sasha closed her eyes, steepling her hands and resting her lips against her fingertips. She took several deep breaths—I presumed to calm herself down. She and I had already experienced several run-ins like this before, but never in my life had I pushed her so hard that she lost control of herself as much as she did today.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, Sasha finally opened her eyes, calm returning to her aged face. “I will meet your terms, child, but only on one condition.”

“No. My way or—”

“Then you don’t go at all. I will lose my golden ticket, as you say, and find another way of bargaining with the Calvernons.”

Wait, I wasn’t expecting that. “Okay. What’s the condition?”

“I will allow you to pick your team leader, your team, and allow you to go on this mission. But…two of my own operatives will go with you.” I shook my head, but Sasha put her finger up. “Let me finish. I want you to come back alive, child, as I’m sure you want to as well. I will meet all of your demands, but I will assign two operatives to act as bodyguards for you. Your team will focus on the mission and your brother. My operatives will focus solely on you and ensure that you make it back alive.”

I played with the idea in my head. I could push it. I could push this whole thing and demand that it just be me and my team. But the last thing I needed was to push Sasha over the edge. As much as I didn’t trust her, I still needed her, and I still needed the North. If she was serious about finding a different bargaining chip, I was going to lose any hope of saving my brother. As far as I could tell, this was my only option.

I sighed heavily, and then nodded. “Fine. You have a deal. My team, your operatives, and I go.”

We stared each other down. Her gaze was intense, but I refused to give in. And I was willing to bet that my own glare mirrored every ounce of unyielding frustration that simmered in hers. Finally, Sasha nodded. “Done. You’ll meet with the Sergeant Major tomorrow to discuss mission parameters.”

I nodded. Well, here we go again.

***

How the hell was I going to lead a team? I didn’t know the first thing about designing a mission like this. The Admin Job was one thing. I knew Telvia, had walked the halls of the Administration Buildings a thousand times as a little girl, knew the city like the back of my hand. But even that mission I wasn’t really in control of. I wasn’t the lead. When Wes volunteered, plenty of commanding officers pitched in to help us and Wes naturally took over. He had the experience, knew what to do when I didn’t. Knew what to ask for and who to ask when I was confused and stuck.

But I couldn’t ask him to go this time. Not when I was planning on slipping out in the night with my brother, leaving the team behind. And that brought up another thought…

How could I ask anyone to follow me into this massive death trap, only to ditch them? How could I demand to lead a team, to sacrifice a group of people, for my own selfish reasons?

I leaned back in my seat in the limo, my inner demons toiling inside of me. I couldn’t come back to the North. But asking people to risk themselves for me, only to abandon them, was such a douchey move. God, this sucked. And, let’s not forget that Sasha was sending two of her own operatives with me. How was I going to escape them? Their job was to watch me like a hawk, to ensure my survival at all costs.

I covered my face with my hands. This was such a mess. My power play with Sasha had put me in a total bind. I needed help. I couldn’t plan this whole thing alone. I had to figure out a way to untangle myself from this, to get what I needed from the rebels while simultaneously not leaving everyone out to dry. I groaned and dropped my hands, rubbing my lips together as I mulled it over in my head. I had to pick a team this week. That was the first step. Then I would figure out the rest.

Bing, bing.

I looked at my wrist, watching my tab light up. I tapped the screen to see my message.

Edith: Hey, newbie! Haven’t heard from you in a while. Busy using the special stuff I left for you, eh?

My cheeks flushed with raging heat as my memory pulled up lacy intimates that, in no way, could ever be considered as actual clothing when a sock contained more fabric. I shook my head, trying to get the image out of my mind, and then quickly messaged back.

Mara: First of all, you need to find me a new nickname, because I think I hardly qualify as a newb anymore. Secondly, thanks for all the clothes. And thirdly, you better take all that stuff in that sex drawer back! If Wes’s mom sees that stuff, she’s going to think I’m a total harlot and hate me more than she already does!

Edith: ROTFL! Oh, you’re still a newbie all right. But that’s okay, I’ll show you how to wear it all.

Mara: Absolutely not!

Edith: Oh you’re no fun anymore, girly. If you’re seriously not going to make use of them, then send it my way. I’ve got some ideas…

“Oh my gosh, Edith,” I mumbled aloud. Warmth flushed within me as I imagined Edith dressed up in some of the extra special underwear and bras from my extra special drawer. My tab binged again.

Edith: Have you been into town yet?

Mara: I’ve driven through it.

Edith: Busy?

Was I busy? Technically, yes. I was completely overwhelmed with a task I’d just arm-wrestled Sasha into. And, at the moment, had no clue how to approach it, tackle it, or remotely solve it. I was very busy.

Mara: Nope. Not busy. Why?

Edith: Goodie! Let’s go out for ice cream. Meet me at The Creamery in an hour?

I really didn’t know what ice cream was. I’d never even heard of it. But meeting with Edith sounded like an amazing way to avoid my problems right now. And besides, maybe she could help me come up with a plan or knew someone I could talk to that could help me figure some of this out. Of course, I couldn’t tell her the whole story—she’d be so pissed. But I could at least get help with the mission part, right?

Mara: Absolutely!

I crawled forward through the limo and tapped on the divider. It slid down, revealing Roger on the other side.

“Yes, miss?”

“Can we go to The Creamery in town?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks!” I chirped out, flopping back into my seat. Yes. This was good. This was very good. After the drama of the last thirty hours, girl time was exactly what I needed. A break from it all and a chance to forget, if only for an hour.

I sighed. If only everything were this easy.

25: That’s What She Said

We drove through a downtown district with people strolling along the sidewalks, cars buzzing past, and the glimmering windows of boutique after boutique on either side of us, until we pulled up in front of a shop with scrolling script: The Creamery. And I couldn’t help but notice as people stopped to look at the car.

Roger stepped out and around, opening my door. “Here we are, miss.”

I crawled out, watching as people whispered to one another, confusion and curiosity etched on their faces. “Thanks,” I muttered, distracted by the stares.

“Would you like me to wait for you?”

I blinked, trying to ignore the attention. “No, that’s okay. I’m meeting a friend.”

He smiled and gave me a quick bow. “Very well, miss. Message me when you’re ready for me to pick you up.” I nodded and watched as Roger stepped back into the vehicle and drove away.

“Buzz off, people. You act like you’ve never seen royalty before. Let’s go, get a move on.”

I recognized that voice—boisterous, rude, and loud. Edith. I spun around right as she encircled me in a bear hug.

“Hey, girly! Glad you could make it.”

I hugged her back as best as I could. She had her arms wrapped around my entire body, pinning my arms down. “Hi! Yeah, thanks for inviting me. I thought you were still mad at me.”

She let me go, a smile beaming on her deviant face. “Oh, I still think you’re making the biggest mistake ever, but who am I to judge? Lord knows I’ve made plenty of my own.”

“Oh really? Care to share?”

She wrapped an arm over my shoulders as she guided me forward into the shop. “Nah…I was sworn to secrecy. But it involved two guys, a pig, and a chicken.” The smile dropped from my face.

Oh god…

My eyes widened as images of all sorts of unspeakable things flooded my mind. Edith caught sight of me and started rolling in laughter. “I’m kidding! Oh my god, you should see your face! It was so good.”

Now I felt embarrassed, my cheeks coloring from the images in my mind. Damn, Edith.

She just kept laughing as she opened the door and led us in. “That was so rich. But dude, I don’t know if I should be offended or if I should be high-fiving you for your dirty mind.”

And now I really felt like looking for a table to die under. “I didn’t—”

Edith snorted. “Oh yeah, sure you didn’t.”

Ugh…maybe meeting with her was a bad idea.

“Come on, newbie, let’s sit over there by the window. That way we can people watch the crazies.”

I wondered if she ever realized she was one of them. Because interacting with Edith was always an unknown variable. Sometimes she was a bull in a china shop, and sometimes she was a fox in a henhouse. And sometimes, well…sometimes she was just batshit crazy.

And I loved it.

Most of the time.

We took a seat at a quaint-looking white table with two matching white chairs. A quick glance around showed me a mostly white parlor with pastel blue and pink accents, scrolling designs painted on the walls, and imagery of swirling white, pink, and brown stuff in cups. There was a bar counter with stools lined up, mostly empty with only a few patrons, and several more tables set up for two and four.

“Hi! Welcome to The Creamery. What can I get you both?” I was surprised by the sudden appearance of a girl around my age, dressed in white shorts, a white t-shirt, and a little white hat with the name of the shop scrolled across it.

“Hey there,” Edith practically purred. “We’ll both have ice cream sundaes.”

“What’s an ice cream sundae?”

“You’re gonna love it,” Edith said as she waved me off, keeping her focus on the waitress. “Extra cherry for me, sweet thang,” and then she winked.

I closed my eyes, doing everything I could to keep from burying my face in my hands. I swear, if I didn’t love this girl so much, I’d stay as far away from her as possible. The waitress winked back at Edith with a smirk and then left us.

“So do you just go after anything that walks? Or do you actually have a type?” I teased.

Edith leaned back in her chair, a devilish smirk painted across her face. “Mara, when you’re as lovable and sexy as me, it would be a crime against humanity to deny anyone a taste.”

This time, I did bury my face in my hands, feeling sheepish while also trying my best not to laugh so hard that I peed myself. “Oh my god, Edith,” I managed through ragged breaths, “how are you even you? I met your family. They’re like…normal. It makes no sense.”

Edith chuckled. “I know. I totally improved my whole genetic line.”

I laughed again. I knew she was joking, but a part of me suspected she totally believed it. “You sure did, friend.”

She shrugged her shoulders in an I know kind of way. “So, how’s it going over there at the McMansion?”

I sighed. “Hard to tell. I haven’t been there that long.” My thoughts drifted through the last twenty-four hours, and I realized I had a lot to update Edith on. “Actually, I’m pretty sure I’m already on Marissa’s hit list.”

“Ooo…already, huh?” Leaning forward in her chair, she rested her chin on her hand. “Do tell.”

With a deep breath, I recounted everything from when Edith left me on the grass, to arriving at the Calvernon Estate, to dinner with the whole fam-damn-ly, to my meeting with Sasha this morning. At some point, our waitress had brought us our ice cream, and Edith was putting her first spoonful into her mouth as I finished recounting the last epic drama that was my life right now.

“Damn, girl. You weren’t kidding. That’s a lot.”

“I know,” I groaned as I rubbed my face with my hands. “And I don’t even know what to do now. I’m totally lost.”

“Mmmm,” she moaned as she took in another spoonful. “You could ask for volunteers?”

I jabbed the white stuff with bits of black…something with my spoon. What the hell was this? “I know, but I don’t know the first thing about leading a bunch of people into something like this.”

“Well, for starters, not every leader knows exactly what they’re doing the first time they do it. And,” she pressed on as she pointed her spoon at me, “a good leader understands their own weaknesses. They find experts that fill in their blind spots and know when to ask for help or pass over command to someone who knows better.”

I considered that for a moment. “Okay…but I don’t know any experts.”

“Sure you do,” she spoke as she shoveled another spoonful of her ice cream. “Are you going to eat that, or what?”

“Huh? Oh!” I looked down at the shlop, because whatever this stuff was, it was melting all over the place. “Who do I know?” I scooped up some of the stuff and sniffed it. Wow! Whatever it was smelled delicious.

“How about me? I know stuff. I helped you with the Admin Job. I’m wicked good at all the computer stuff, and I’m seriously awesome with knives and you know it.”

All true things, but I couldn’t ask Edith to do this. “I appreciate that, and I’ll take all the help you’re willing to give me, but you don’t have to. I got myself into this. I don’t expect you to dive in with me.”

Edith gave me the biggest eyeroll I’d ever seen. “Gosh, newbie, don’t even start with me. You ask for volunteers, and I’m there. You need me.”

And just like that, warmth fluttered through me as my heart melted. Because Edith, my best friend in the entire world—and quite possibly my only friend—was volunteering herself, placing herself at serious risk, just to help me. Just like the Admin Job, I felt immense gratitude and love for this girl, craziness and all. But I couldn’t let her do this. Not when I was still trying to figure out how I was going to ensure the team’s survival when I left everyone behind. But…I also knew that arguing with Edith was a pointless endeavor. I’d have to figure it all out later.

“Thanks, Edith.”

“Of course! Besides, I bet there’ll be some major hotties, and I can’t pass that up.”

And here we go again. I laughed, because how could I not? But I knew Edith’s real motivations were a desire to help, to support, and to be the ultimate friend.

She shoveled another spoonful and swallowed before asking, “You said Sasha was going to pick a team this week. Does that mean they already have a plan for the mission?”

“I think so. I’m supposed to meet Giza tomorrow to go over the mission parameters and discuss selecting a team.” I stabbed my ice cream with my spoon, watching as the metal glided into the white lump, cutting through it easily.

“Will you take a bite of that damn ice cream already?” Edith scolded, knocking me out of my head and back into the room.

I watched as the melted pool in my spoon dripped off, back into my cup. “It’s good, right?”

“Just shove it in there already!”

I snorted. “That’s what she said,” I got out with a wink before stuffing the spoon in my mouth.

An explosion of amazing flavor hit my palate. It was sweet, creamy, smooth, rich, and the blackish stuff was melted chocolate!

“Oh my god!” I mumbled, stuffing more of the creamy goodness in my mouth. “Why didn’t you tell me it was so good?”

“I told you you would like it.”

“Yeah, but seriously…” I licked my spoon, trying to get the chocolate off. “It’s chocolate, right? I thought chocolate was rare or something?”

Edith chuckled as she took another bite of her own. “It’s imitation, actually. But it tastes almost as good as the real thing.”

“Wowies…” I took another bite, feeling the biting cold of the firmer ice cream encasing my tongue. “This is so much better than nourishment pills.”

Edith snorted. “Yeah, no shit.”

I laughed, turning my head to look out the window, and marveled at how the world went by without a care. No armed Enforcement officers marched the streets, no cameras positioned at every lamppost, no security checkpoints, or retinal scans every few miles. All I saw out the window was people living their lives freely. No fear.

“Telvia’s nothing like this.” The words slipped out, my thoughts being vocalized without me realizing it.

“Yeah…that’s why we’ve got to win.”

I said nothing. My vision blurred as I became lost in thought. The Dissenters had to win. I knew my reasons why Raúl needed to be stopped, and I also knew why I wasn’t going to stick around to see it done. And I knew Sasha’s reasons—she fought for power. I understood Matias’s loyalty to the cause and Chelsea’s. As orphans, they were children of this rebellion, raised by the Dissenters, making the rebels their only chance of survival. And I understood the Calvernons and their decision too. Wealth and power propelled them. But…I never understood Edith. Edith had both her parents, a billion siblings, and a quaint little farm away from the city. Why did Edith join the cause? What was her reason?

“Hey, Edith? Can I ask you something?” I turned to face her.

“What’s up?”

“Why did you become a Dissenter?” I didn’t expect the laughter to leave her face, or the somber look of grief to fill her eyes. She grew silent, eyes flickering as emotion passed through her. Did I say something wrong? “Edith?”

She put her spoon down and she sat up straighter in her chair, her gaze drifting off me as her hands settled in her lap. For the first time ever, I saw the glint of tears in her eyes. “I have my own reasons, okay?”

I swallowed. There was more here, a lot more. And the fact that Edith didn’t want to talk to me about it had me worried. “Edith, come on. I’m your friend, remember? What aren’t you telling me?”

A grimace took over her face as the glimmer of a single tear streaked down her cheek. She stayed quiet, though, giving me the impression that she was calculating, weighing it out, deciding whether she wanted to divulge her secrets.

“Please,” I whispered. The irony that I was pushing her to tell me her secret when I had no intention of telling her mine was not lost on me. And I felt a little guilty about it.

She looked at me, the corners of her lips slipping into a frown before she cleared her throat. “A while ago, I lost my sister. She—” her voice cracked. She cleared her throat once more and tried again. “She was older than me, and our family didn’t have a lot of money. So she enlisted in the army to help support us. I wanted to join with her, but I was too young.” A weak smile came across her lips. “I always looked up to her, you know?”

A sinking filling slowly filled my belly. She took a deep breath as the smile faded from her face and the seriousness returned.

“Giza came to our home personally to tell us the news. He said that she had been on assignment, and her team was discovered by the REG. They were caught, and”—the furrow in Edith’s brows deepened, looking almost as though she was in pain—“and she disappeared.” She pressed her lips together as she turned to look out the window.

Oh no.

After a minute, Edith blew out a breath, still staring out the window. “My parents begged me not to enroll. But I was determined to find her. I enlisted, thinking maybe she was trapped somewhere, maybe I could find her, but…it was stupid. Stupid hope that she would still be alive.” She faced me then, gaze growing fierce and hard. “So now I’m in it to find the asshole that killed her. And I’ll stay until that person gets what they deserve.”

My heart ached for her, for what she lost. I knew how much I would give up, how much I had already sacrificed for Jacob. “I’m so sorry, Edith.”

She sniffed, quickly wiping away the moisture from her cheek. “Yeah, me too. Liddy was an amazing sister.”

I gave her a somber smile, which she returned before looking out the window. So, even Edith was driven by one of the four motivators Sasha told me about. Edith was in it for revenge.

“Well, will you look at that?”

“What?” I followed her gaze outside the window to see what she caught sight of.

“Looks like the huntress is on the prowl.”

My brows knitted together. “What the hell does that—” My jaw dropped. There, in front of me, was Wes. And with him was, “Blondie.”

“Blonde and bitchy.”

“You know her?” I kept my eyes on them, watching as Blondie’s hair flowed in the breeze. She kept tapping Wes’s chest, her silent giggles giving everything away while revealing nothing.

“Oh yeah, I do. That’s Calista. She’s got major attitude problems and is total bad news. You’ve met her before?”

“Only once.” I never took my eyes off of them, glued to the flirtations playing out in front of me while my stomach did somersaults, tossing my ice cream.

“Take my advice: stay away from her. That girl is trouble.”

“Like Chelsea?”

“Chelsea was willing to save your ass. This girl is more likely to backstab you and pluck your eyes out. Don’t mess with her, okay?”

I gave Edith a quick glance, but she was still glued to the show outside. And I couldn’t blame her. Because when I looked back out the window, I saw Calista wrap her arms around Wes’s neck, lips dangerously close to his.

And then she leaned in to kiss him.

26: Exes Ruin Everything

Everything within me froze. Calista’s lips drew ever closer as her hand slid up to cup Wes’s cheek while the other braced against his chest. And I knew she was breathing in his cologne—the wooded strength of sandalwood with the floral softness of lavender—soothing, captivating, intoxicating.

Time stood still as her lips brushed against his…

And then it was over.

Wes pulled back, turning his face, giving Calista his cheek. She paused, and then gracefully placed her lips on the curvature of his jaw, before stepping back and walking away.

My breath rushed out of me, and I gasped to suck in fresh oxygen into my deprived lungs. And I felt…relieved.

Wait, what?

Why did I feel relief? Why did I even care? Sure, Wes was my betrothed, but I had no intention of actually marrying him, and we weren’t anything to each other. So why did I feel relieved when Wes shut Blondie down? And why did I feel like I was about to suffocate when I thought they were going to make out right in front of me? Why did it matter at all?

“Shit.” Edith sat back in her chair. “Girl,” she drawled, “if Calista’s putting the moves on Wes, then you’ve got trouble.”

“Why?” I muttered as I kept my eyes on Wes, standing stoically with his hands in his pockets. He didn’t move a muscle until finally, he lifted his head and looked right at me. Our eyes locked, glass acting as our only barrier. Then he rolled his shoulders back and walked away.

Maybe he didn’t see me after all? I mean, if you were almost smooching some blonde and realized your fiancé was watching, wouldn’t you try to talk to her about it? Seriously, what was the problem with men these days? Nobody said crap—at least not about the things they should talk about—and then they just ghosted you.

Thinking he didn’t see me felt better somehow.

But why does it even matter, Mara? I didn’t have an answer. I didn’t know why this was bugging me so much, but it couldn’t. I couldn’t let it get in the way.

“Earth to Mara!”

I snapped back into the room, turning to face Edith, who looked like she was about to bop me on the head with her spoon. “Yeah? I’m sorry, I’m just…”

“Pissed? Ready to claw her eyes out? Cat fight it up?”

My brows pinched in confusion. “What? No. You just told me to stay away from her.”

“I did. But since when do you listen to me? You’re going to have to get in there and shake that ass—”

Oh my god…not this again. “Edith, please.”

“Seriously! You should be working it.”

“I’m not doing this again with you,” I mumbled as she kept talking over me.

“I mean, do you even know anything about him? Anything you can use to get a leg up? Like, what are his hopes and dreams? What’s he afraid of? What’s his favorite color—”

“Favorite color? What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything!” She shot her hands up in the air, flinging ice cream. “It’s everything, Mara! How do you expect to stake your claim against Calista if you don’t even know what the man’s favorite color is?”

“I highly doubt that knowing Wes’s favorite color is going to make a difference in staking metaphorical claims. And on top of that, I’m not interested in staking anything.”

Edith groaned. “Yes. You. Are. You’ve got to get in there and make sure Calista doesn’t get any weird ideas.”

I rubbed my eyes, growing tired. I needed this day to be over. “Why does it even matter? Wes and I are betrothed. It doesn’t matter what she does, it’s going to end the same way.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, newbie.”

What did she mean I was wrong? How could I be wrong? What didn’t I know?

Edith groaned again, giving me the biggest eyeroll that left me pondering how her eyeballs didn’t come out of their sockets. “Okay, listen up—Calista is Wes’s ex.”

Jesus… This thing all over again? God, I hated this. Why did everyone have an ex who ruined everything? This time, I was the one that groaned.

“That’s right, girly. And she wasn’t too happy about it. Wes broke it off before he transferred to the rebel camp. So, if she’s decided that she wants her old beau back…let’s just say Calista always gets what she wants.”

My stomach twisted, and suddenly I felt sick. “Well,” I interjected, “it doesn’t matter because Wes and I don’t get to pick who we marry, remember? So Blondie’s barking up the wrong tree—”

“Unless Wessy decides he doesn’t want to do what daddy tells him to do anymore, right?”

Wait, what? My body froze. “What do you mean? He can do that?”

“He’s not supposed to do that, but this is freaking Wes we’re talking about here, not Matias. Matias plays by the rules, but Wes lives his life telling the rules to eff off.”

Damn, was that true? Would he do that? “He could decide not to marry me,” I said, more of a statement than a question, and the weight of that possibility settled over me.

“Mmhmm. If Calista has decided she wants him back, and Wes falls for her, then it wouldn’t take much convincing before he tells his dad to go suck it. And from what you already told me, you’re already on Marissa’s shit list. And she loved Calista. She’d back Wes up in a heartbeat against daddy-o.”

Oh my god. “And if Wes backs out…”

“There’s no reason for Sasha or the North to help you save your brother.”

Well shit.

***

I felt queasy the entire drive back to the estate. I was so confused by everything going on inside me. I needed Wes to stick to the plan of marrying me, at least until after I got my brother back. After that, he could live happily ever after with Blondie. At least that part made me feel better. I felt less like a bitch knowing that Wes had someone waiting for him once I disappeared on the rescue mission. I just had to make sure he didn’t back out before then. I had three weeks to get through, and then I would be home free, and so would Wes.

But that’s where I felt stuck. Did I let Wes in on everything? Tell him the truth and beg him to play along until I ran away? That option sounded the most appealing, but what if he got upset and told Sasha? What if he wanted the North to gain power and the whole thing blew up in my face? I couldn’t risk that. The truth was, I didn’t know if Wes still wanted Calista or not. I mean, it kind of looked like maybe he did. But, then again, he pulled back and didn’t let her kiss him. What did that mean? Did it mean he wasn’t into her anymore? Or was it just the whole optics thing?

Ugh…why did this stuff always have to be so confusing? Why couldn’t things just be simple? Why did everyone have to keep damn secrets? I hated this sneaking around crap! How did people live their entire lives this way? I just didn’t get it. I had only been doing it for two days, and I was already looking for excuses to spill the beans. I just wasn’t cut out for all of this political BS.

I rubbed my eyes, exhausted by the drama and nonsense I found myself in. No…I couldn’t risk this whole thing falling apart. I had one goal, and one goal only: save Jacob. And I was going to do whatever it took to meet that goal. In the end, I couldn’t care less about Raúl or the Dissenters or any of it. They could figure out their own mess. Jacob and I didn’t need anybody or anyone.

So that left me only one choice: play the part. Play the role of a doting fiancé, and ride that princess pony home. It was only three weeks. Anyone could do anything for three weeks. I could keep Marissa off my back, plan a rescue, and stake my temporary claim on Wes against Blondie for three weeks, right? It was doable, right?

Of course! I had this. But if that was the case, why did the sinking feeling dive deeper into my stomach? And why did I have the sneaking suspicion that I was making the biggest mistake of my life?

27: Rock and a Hard Place

That night at dinner, things were more than a little awkward. It was just the four of us—Charles, Marissa, Wes, and me. Charles and Marissa sat on either end of the table, while Wes and I sat on opposite sides of each other. And we barely spoke two words. Turns out, when it wasn’t a dinner party, the Calvernons weren’t very chatty people.

Charles attempted to strike up a conversation from time to time, but Wes and his mother sat like stone, stoic and hardly moving as they ate. Wes wouldn’t even look at me, and Marissa gave me several glaring gazes when she thought I wasn’t watching. Needless to say, it was awkward. I got the sense that everyone was sitting with secrets, afraid that uttering one word would give away their sneaky plots and reveal their schemes.

As soon as I was done eating, I excused myself from the table and got the hell out of there. Because the truth was, I had my own secrets I was afraid of giving away. And I was still a little confused about the emotions that swirled within me when I thought about Wes and Blondie. His refusal to look at me confirmed my suspicions that he had definitely seen me at The Creamery and knew that I had seen him with Calista. The whole thing left me with a cocktail of conflicting feelings that I just didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with. So, I made a beeline for my room, and didn’t come out again until morning.

This time, I set an alarm to make sure I didn’t sleep in. My conversation with Edith the day before reinvigorated my motivation to save my brother, and I had to touch base with Giza to find out what plan they had already devised for Jacob’s rescue. Then, I had to get to work on assembling a team. Although my mind kept thinking about Wes and Calista, I shoved all that as far down as I could, because the reality was, it didn’t matter. As long as Wes stuck with the marriage, he and Blondie could canoodle all they wanted. And the faster I got this mission underway, the faster I could get out of here.

Bright and early, I showered and got dressed. I slipped on a pair of skinny jeans, a mauve t-shirt, and a pair of white sneakers. I messaged the estate staff and asked for something to eat and coffee to be brought to my room. The last thing I wanted was another awkward encounter with the Calvernons.

I waited rather impatiently for my meal, but resisted the urge to open the door and look down the hall. So I paced instead, back and forth, until a knock finally broke the silence.

Oh thank you, lord.

I trotted over and opened the door.

“Breakfast in bed?”

My jaw dropped as my stomach somersaulted, my heart thrumming as my sight landed on hazel eyes. If there was a different backstory going on here, I’d be swooning and ready to drop my panties. Because Wes really was sexy as hell. Chiseled, clean-shaven, sharp features, blond hair neatly secured at the nape of his neck, black t-shirt that hugged every pictorial ripple and washboard ab, dark blue jeans, and strong hands holding a tray with a steaming mug of coffee, something else that smelled heavenly on a plate, and exactly one long stem white rose resting on top of a folded white linen napkin.

I mean, seriously…who wouldn’t find themselves ready to dive under the sheets with a hot guy bringing you breakfast?

But our backstory was different, complicated. And as much as a low simmering heat filled me, along with other sensations I dared not admit to myself, I was also completely mortified.

“You can close your mouth at any time.”

And now I was doubly mortified, snapping my mouth closed as heat flushed my cheeks. I just didn’t get it. Why did Wes always have this effect on me? He was constantly catching me with my mouth hanging open like a baby bird waiting for its next meal. Not even Chase had this effect on me…and they were identical! I mean, what freaking gives? But, then again, no one caught me off guard and kept me guessing more than Wes. Just when I thought I knew what he was thinking or what he was going to do next, he did something completely different and unexpected. And, apparently, the only way I knew how to express shock was by catching flies with my mouth.

“Are you going to invite me in? Or should I just take the muffin back to the kitchen?” The gleam in his eye revealed he was enjoying this interaction way more than he should, and that piece finally snapped me back to my senses.

“Yeah…um, come on in,” I stuttered as I opened the door wider, stepping out of the way.

Wes tipped his head in acknowledgement and walked inside, heading straight for the two wingback chairs by the stained-glass window. I closed the door behind him and joined him as he put the tray down on the small end table next to the chair. I waited, expecting him to leave.

He didn’t.

He sat down in the opposite chair, settling in as he rested one ankle on the knee of his other leg, and watched me.

Oookay. I guess this is happening. I cleared my throat, mustering my courage. I walked to the empty chair and sat down.

Silence.

We just sat there quietly, the clock ticking away the seconds as steam rose softly in small swirls from my mug. Did he really expect me to just eat? This was too weird, too awkward for me. Who goes off with their ex around town, doesn’t say a word all night, and then brings their fiancé breakfast in the morning? It was too early for this kind of drama, and I had a lot to get done today. If he wanted to sit there and be weird, then by all means. But I had bigger things to do with my time. So I grabbed the muffin-thing and stood up.

“Where are you going?”

I looked at him, and for once, I think I caught him by surprise if the raised brow was any indication. “Out.” I turned away from him, walking to my bed where my mini-tab was still charging. My plan was to eat breakfast and then go to the base. But if Wes was going to be weird, then I could take this squishy-bread-thing on the road. I just needed to message the estate staff for a ride.

“Mara…”

I paused mid-step. Because the way Wes said my name sounded more like a plea than anything else. I breathed in deeply, but I didn’t move, waiting for what came next.

He understood my behavior perfectly. “Can we talk…please?”

He got me. He got me with that last word. Please. Because Wes rarely asked for anything. It was always a demand, an expectation, a command. But right here, right now, Wes was asking. But I had no desire to do this right now, which is why I was trying to avoid the whole awkward breakfast shitshow to begin with. “I’m sorry, Wes, but I’ve got to go,” I said over my shoulder as I started walking to my nightstand again. “We can talk later—”

Strong fingers took hold of my upper forearm, and gently tugged me back, causing me to turn around. “We can talk now.”

There it was…the demands were back. But the words were gentle, somehow. My eyes met his, and the world seemed to pause in that moment. I opened my mouth, ready to tell him no, but the look in his eyes held me, begging me. And I ended up saying, “All right.”

Letting me go, he held out his arm toward the chairs in an after you gesture. With a deep breath, I walked back to my seat and sat as he did, putting the muffin on the plate. My eyes landed on the rose—so beautiful, so perfect. I couldn’t help but brush my fingers against its supple petals.

“It’s a rose.” He spoke gently, voice oddly thick before he cleared it. “Have you ever seen one before?”

My heart stuttered. I glanced at him. Legs apart, he leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees, watching me intently. I hesitated. I had seen one before…only once. But that was a story that belonged to me and my heart. A story I had promised to keep secret.

“No,” I whispered, reaching for my coffee instead. Wes tipped his chin to his chest, and I took a sip, enjoying the bitter taste as I watched him rub his hands together. Silence took over again. He was the one who asked to talk, not me. As far as I was concerned, the onus was on him to get this awkward conversation rolling. So I took another sip of my coffee while Wes just gazed at the floor.

“I—” he hesitated. Clasping his hands together, he looked around the room. This was interesting. Wes was rarely at a loss for words. And as much as I wanted to tease him and point it out, I stayed quiet. He cleared his throat and finally looked up at me. “What did you see yesterday?”

Leave it to Wes to turn this around and make me be the one to lead the show. I didn’t think so. If he wanted to talk, he was going to have to do the talking. I decided to be evasive.

“Enough,” I replied stoically before grabbing the muffin and taking a bite. Oh lord, it was delicious. I took another nibble and tried hard not to moan at the buttery flavor in my mouth.

Wes rubbed his lips together, turning his face away, twirling his thumbs. This was really interesting. The feeling of unease was thick, and watching Wes struggle with whatever it was he was trying to figure out was kind of fascinating.

I wonder if this is what I look like all the time?

“Nothing happened,” he finally uttered.

I wonder if I should play dumb? Would that be too cruel of me? Eh…let’s see how it goes.

“What do you mean, ‘nothing happened?’” I leaned back in my chair, enjoying another bite of my muffin. I was pretty sure the dark bluish spots were blueberry. And mixed with the fluffy texture? It was just exquisite.

Wes’s eyes narrowed. Then he shifted his gaze, sighing loudly. “What you saw in town yesterday. Me and…and the girl. Nothing happened between us.”

“Mmhmm,” I mumbled. “Not what it looked like.” The urge to snicker was fierce, but I beat it back. Watching him squirm in his chair was just too rich.

He shot me a quick glare, and all I did in response was take another bite of my pastry, giving him a cool look in return.

“Look, Calista is my ex, but we broke up before I left for the rebel camp. There’s nothing between us now.” His tone was shifting, the plea gone and replaced by a firmness that reminded me of the Wes I had grown to know.

I licked my lips as I wiped the corners of my mouth with my napkin. “Look, I don’t know what I saw, and I really don’t care. If you and Blondie have something going on—”

“There’s nothing going on,” he shot back, cutting through my words sharply.

I hesitated. He was getting worked up about this. Maybe I shouldn’t have poked the bear. After all, I needed him…at least for another three weeks. I sighed, weighing my response. I didn’t need to piss him off, and I certainly didn’t want to lead him on. But I had to stay focused…for Jacob. I cleared my throat and then took a deep breath. “Okay, nothing happened.”

Wes held my gaze, his eyes searching for something, and then he nodded softly, leaning back into his chair. “Okay,” he repeated.

Silence encompassed us again, the tension and awkwardness returning. I eyed my coffee, and then decided I wanted to move past the weirdness and get back to some semblance of normal. “So, thanks for bringing me breakfast.”

“You’re welcome.”

Silence fell again. I looked back at him, but he seemed to be lost in thought. And the truth was, I needed to get going. Right as I was about to stand, he spoke.

“Why didn’t you come down to eat?”

I raised an eyebrow and snorted. “Isn’t it obvious? Being pushed into an arranged marriage is already making stuff awkward. Watching you and Blondie was just icing on the cake.”

Wes snickered. “Blondie?”

“Yeah…Cristy or Kelsy or whatever her name is. I met her at the barracks days ago, and she is not what I would call a peach, you know? That mountain lion you wrestled had a better disposition.”

Wes was silent for a second, then two, and then he chuckled.

“What’s so funny?”

“Blondie…that’s just, I don’t know…ridiculous.”

“Yeah, well, Bitchy’s more fitting, but Blondie’s what came to mind.”

Then, Wes laughed…a deep, belly laugh, like the one he gave back in the rebel camp all those months ago after I beat him and his friends at Stallion. And it was contagious, because before I knew it, I started laughing too. The laughter filled me, easing the stress and giving me back a semblance of joy I hadn’t felt in a long time. And it felt really damn good.

“Yeah,” he said between chuckles, “I can agree with that.”

I wiped the corners of my eyes, removing the tears that had accumulated from my laughter. “Which part? That she’s bitchy or that you have a horrible taste in women?”

Wes smirked, his eyes suddenly glowing with the intensity of molten gold. “Well, I wouldn’t say I have a horrible taste in women. Calista may not be ‘a peach,’ as you say, but there are others who I think are pretty incredible.”

I snorted. “Oh yeah? Well, when one walks by, be sure to point her out. I’d love to meet one of these incredible girls of yours.”

Something played in his eyes as they flickered, and a smile—so handsome and goddamn sexy—took over his face. “I’ll be sure to point her out when the time comes.”

I cocked a brow incredulously. “Yeah, okay,” I said with a snicker as I got up from my seat and stepped over to the nightstand to put on my tab. “Well, thanks again for breakfast. I’ll have to return the favor sometime, surprise you in bed with coffee and those muffin things.”

“Or other things…”

I snapped my head back around. “Excuse me?” Did he just make a…a flirty sex joke at me?

Wes ran his teeth over his bottom lip, looking at the floor quickly before standing up. “Never mind. Where are you going, anyway? You look like you’ve got a hot date or something.”

I stuttered, my brain scrambling, trying to form words. His commentary was leaving me rattled, confused, and feeling a whole lot of something low in my body, sending my heart racing.

Wes stepped closer, shrinking the space between us quicker than I could take a breath. “You were saying?” It was a simple question, but with only a few meager inches left, and the deep, alluring way he asked it…I suddenly felt feverish.

“I-I need to…” I floundered. I couldn’t focus. I looked up into his eyes, and the intensity of his gaze, the heat radiating off his body, sent me swimming. His lips parted, and I swallowed…hard. Because now, all I could stare at were his lips. I watched as they came closer to mine, the short gap closing, my breath catching in my throat as my heart hammered itself inside my chest. “I have to…”

Wes leaned in, his one arm reaching past me, and then stopped. Lifting his hand, he held my mini-tab. “You need to…?” It was playful, encouraging. He took my left wrist gently and started putting on the watch. Every movement was soft, feeling so much more intimate and provocative than putting on a damn watch should be. His gaze never left mine, holding me prisoner as it so often did.

Oh my god, Mara, snap out of it!

I shook my head, taking a step backwards, bumping into the nightstand. The lamp tipped, and I twirled to grab it before it fell to the floor.

Jesus, what the hell is happening?

I felt…

I felt really…

Hot. Hot in so many different ways. I was burning. I really needed fresh air, and I was suddenly afraid. Adrenaline was pumping through me, and I was too afraid to turn around. Too afraid of what would happen if I did. Because all I wanted was for Wes to come closer, to feel the heat of him wrapped around me, and I didn’t know what was going on or how the hell I got here, but I couldn’t do this right now!

Focus, Mara! Remember Jacob. Don’t forget about Jacob.

With a deep breath, words tumbled out of me in one big exhalation. “I gotta go. I’m going to be late.” Without thinking, I moved, slipping out from between the hard place that was my nightstand and the rock that was Wes.

“Late?”

I didn’t dare look back at him. I went straight for the door. “I’ve got an appointment with Giza.”

“With Giza? Mara, what’s going on?”

I reached for the handle. “Thanks again for the muffin. Bye!” I shot over my shoulder and ran out the door.

28: Just Hormones

What the hell happened?

The question circled my mind over and over again as I sat in the limo on the way to the military base.

Why does life have to make things so freaking complicated?

Wes hated me. Then it was like he liked me. Then, he hated me again. Then we jumped to being friends, then we were weird and awkward, and then it seemed like friendship again. Then we went back to weird and awkward, and now? What the hell was now? I couldn’t even answer the stupid question because now was confusing. My entire relationship with this guy had been confusing, complicated, hot again, and then cold again. And, seriously, he was driving me nuts. I mean, for real, how could he do that? Get all close and hot and sexy and all up in my personal space, making me want to—

Nope!

Not going there.

Will not go there.

Won’t think about it, not gonna talk about it, not gonna even remotely let my brain wander there!

I refused to admit that Wes stirred up the wildest sensations within me.

Just like before in the rebel camp, he had the strangest way of making me feel crazy, of making my body yearn for his touch, for close proximities. But I knew so much of that was because he was identical to his brother. My brain projected emotions I had for Chase onto Wes, and it created the most confusing experience for me as I explored my feelings for Matias. And then it all seemed like it died down. Sure, I still thought he was sexy as hell, but I was confident in my affections for Matias.

But then the camp burned to the ground, our worlds turned upside down, and I was separated from both of them. Sparse communications, no interactions, no nothing…for a month. That is, until it was time to do the Admin Job. And, of course, I couldn’t forget the sting I felt when Matias refused to participate and didn’t even so much as say “good luck.”

But Wes…

Wes volunteered. Wes stepped up to help me when no one else would. And then training together, once again, created a space to deepen a friendship that was left as a fragile bud when the world burned down all those months ago. But then it was awkward too. And now I knew that a big piece of that awkwardness was his awareness of our potential future marriage. And that…that left a sad feeling within me. But why?

Why did Wes being nice to me because he suspected our future betrothal matter so much? Why did that little detail make such an enormous difference?

Was it because I wanted him to like me?

My heart seized at the intrusive thought. Wait… Was that really it? Did I…did I want Wes to like me? Did I…did I like him?

No! No, I wasn’t going there. I couldn’t, not now. There was too much at stake, and I couldn’t let myself get distracted with emotions that were only going to cloud my judgment. It didn’t matter what I wanted. And, in the end, it didn’t matter why Wes made me hot and bothered. He was a boy…I was hormonal or something. Whatever. It didn’t matter.

All that mattered was one thing, and I was going to do whatever it took to get Jacob back.

***

Once I settled into the it didn’t matter state of mind, it was easier to just enjoy the rest of the ride to the base. Of course, my brain didn’t want to fully cooperate, and it kept trying to bring back the memory of Wes and me in my room…so close to my bed…so hot…so—erg! But eventually, I was able to rein control over my thoughts and focus on the task at hand.

When we arrived, I was quick to jump out and race into the building. I didn’t even give Smiley time to open my door. I met the secretary again—Lindy, I thought her name was—and asked her to let Giza know I had arrived.

It didn’t take long before Lindy was walking me back into the Situation Room. This one was different from the first, but similarly decorated with a similar long table, chairs, and a projector system. A pitcher of water with several empty glasses waited in the center of the table. And, seated with files and drawings sprawled out in front of him, was Giza.

“Miss de la Puente,” he greeted as he stood up from his chair. “Good of you to come.”

“Sergeant Major,” I replied, giving him a brief salute. It was always weird to me, approaching Giza. It’s not like I interacted with him a lot, but his salt and peppered hair, graying goatee, and kind eyes made him feel like a kickass grandpa. There was nothing stiff or jerkish about him. He easily commanded respect but did so with a warmth that always made it hard for me not to want to address him by his name or just…well, hug him when I needed one.

“Please take a seat,” he motioned to the chair across the table from him.

I nodded and accepted the invitation. “Is anyone else coming?” It seemed odd to me that we’d be having a mission briefing and only he and I would be present. Then again, I didn’t have a lot of experience with these things, and maybe this was the standard protocol?

“For the moment,” he slowly sat in his seat. “I wanted to meet with you briefly first before we began the meeting.”

Interesting… I stayed quiet, waiting for him to begin.

“Would you like something to drink?” He reached for the pitcher and an empty glass.

I nodded and mumbled thank you as he handed me some water. “So, what did you want to see me about?”

Giza poured a second glass, took a sip, and then sat back in his chair. “Miss de la Puente, I’m concerned about you leading this operation.”

Here we go. I couldn’t blame him, but the lack of faith in my ability to do this stung. I sat back in my chair, taking a huge breath to keep my emotions in check as I tried to listen to his concerns.

“This mission is going to require skills you have not been trained in yet. And three weeks is not enough time. It’s bad enough to send you on a mission you’re not prepared for, but to then assign you as the leader is…well—”

“It’s a bad idea, I get it.” The words came out tart. I didn’t mean for them to, but it was hard being told again and again that you weren’t good enough for something. And, as much as I was trying to work on that baggage, it was hard to get over it when people just kept banging the same drum repeatedly.

Giza nodded, eyes pensive as he thought out his next words. “Will you reconsider?”

Easy question. I knew that answer. “No.” I didn’t trust Sasha not to give it her all to save my brother. So, no, absolutely not.

Giza looked away from me, disappointment evident on his face. He sighed as he rubbed his goatee, pulling on the peppered strands. “May I ask why?”

I hesitated. I liked Giza. He was one of the few people I actually trusted around here. But I also knew his job was to follow orders, and I knew that Sasha knew I didn’t trust her. I had told her as much. But my business with Sasha was best left between us. If she had told Giza, well…then he already knew the answer to his question. He didn’t really need me confirming it. “That’s between me and Sasha.”

A grim look overcame his face, but he nodded, accepting my answer. “All right, Miss de la Puente. But please remember, we need you alive and well. Part of this mission will need to have special parameters to keep you safe.”

Special parameters? That didn’t sound good. “Okay,” I mumbled. Because what else was I going to say? No, you can’t keep me safe? I’m planning to run away. I didn’t think any of that was going to fly.

He nodded in response. “Well, now that we have that settled, let’s begin discussing the operation.”

“Shouldn’t we wait for the others?”

“They should be here any moment.”

As if on cue, the door swung open, startling me. A woman in a rather formal uniform entered, four stars pinned across her chest over her heart, and a man in a similar outfit stepped in behind her. And then, to my major shock and surprise, Wes sauntered in behind them.

29: Mic Drop

Watching Wes walk in through the door caused the tangled jumble of confusing emotions—the ones I had worked so hard to shove into my imaginary Not Right Now Shitshow box—to come tumbling out, sending my stomach diving.

Giza stood once again, greeting the new arrivals. “Hello, everyone. Mr. Calvernon, good of you to join us as well.”

“Thank you for including me, Sergeant Major.” Wes tipped his head in acknowledgement before turning to face me. And face me he did—his expression was classically stoic, but his eyes were ablaze as they captured mine. My jaw dropped as I felt the intensity.

I didn’t get it. Why was he here? Was he always invited, and I didn’t know? But if that was the case, how come he acted so surprised this morning when I mentioned I was meeting with Giza? Maybe he didn’t know I was coming, and we were both equally surprised to see each other? Whatever the situation was, I didn’t get much of an opportunity to contemplate it.

“Please,” Giza began as he motioned to the empty chairs, “have a seat.”

I swallowed hard, my eyes still held by Wes, who hadn’t shifted a single muscle. But at Giza’s invitation, he took definitive steps toward me, pulled out the chair right next to me, and sat. His eyes never wavered. And I watched him, feeling the intensity burn hotter and hotter until I thought I was going to burn alive from the inside out. A wicked smirk flashed across his lips, causing my chest to tighten, my heart to quicken, and the burn to settle low within my body. And then…it was over. He turned away from me, facing Giza across the table, leaving me to finally breathe.

Oh my ever-loving god.

I felt like running my fingers through my hair, like panting, like pacing, like doing anything but remaining seated and acting like that was the most normal exchange in the world.

Chill the hell out, Mara!

I didn’t know what was going on with me or with Wes, or how the hell it—whatever it was—was happening so fast. But I didn’t have the capacity for it right now. I shook my head quickly, trying to clear the cacophony of thoughts buzzing in my mind, and set my sights on Giza.

“Allow me to make quick introductions here,” he began. “I’m Sergeant Major Giza for the Dissenters.” He motioned over to the woman, “This is General Cassia Bynes of the North.” The woman tipped her head in acknowledgement before Giza shifted his body to indicate the man. “Lieutenant General Michael Krous of the North.” The man gazed at us quickly before shifting his attention back to Giza. “Miss Mara de la Puente, First Daughter of Telvia,” Giza said as he motioned toward me, all eyes following, making me feel uncomfortable under their critical stares. I tried my best to keep from squirming and felt immense relief when Giza spoke again. “And Mr. Wes Calvernon, First Son of the North.” Wes tipped his head, barely noticeable as he slouched back in his chair, making himself comfortable and giving off a very I don’t give an eff vibe.

Giza cleared his throat and then sat. With the push of a button, a projector screen came down from the ceiling. “We’re here to discuss mission parameters for Operation Silent Night,” Giza continued. “As you know, this operation will be a joint effort between Dissenter forces and the Northern military. Our objective is to sneak into the Bellfire Tower and rescue Jacob de la Puente, First Son of Telvia.” Giza picked up a remote, and with the push of a few buttons, the lights went out and the projector turned on. Suddenly, Jacob’s picture was projected on the screen, and my heart skipped a beat as I saw his sweet face on display.

It was a professional headshot of him. He was wearing a dark blue suit that caused his blue eyes to pop like glaciers against the peach hues of skin and blond locks of his shortly trimmed hair. He really was a handsome guy. He looked nothing like me. In fact, it never occurred to me before how different we really looked. My mahogany-colored hair, deep brown eyes, and tanned skin were a sharp contrast to him. Light and dark, boy and girl, favored son and despised daughter.

He didn’t look like Raúl either, but he did look exactly like his mother. Belinda… I shivered. As much as I was not a fan of Raúl, I downright loathed Belinda with all my heart. And if I were to be completely honest with myself, I didn’t hate her as much as I feared her. That woman evoked the most primal of survival responses out of me. I could face my father, but facing Belinda felt like facing the devil in the flesh.

The image shifted, snapping my attention back into the room. An aerial photo of a single building located on a plot of land surrounded by a lot of something dark blue popped onto the screen.

“This is the Bellfire Tower,” Giza said. “Thanks to the hard work of Miss de la Puente and Mr. Calvernon, the Admin Job was a success, and, for the first time in our history, we have photos and building schematics of the prison. This data is what will make Operation Silent Night a possibility, something that would never have been conceivable for the Dissenters or Northern Forces before.”

I shifted in my chair and couldn’t help the urge to cast a quick glance at Wes. But when I did, I instantly regretted it. Because, as it turned out, he wasn’t staring at the screen at all. He was watching me. My cheeks burned, and I quickly looked away from him and back at the aerial photo.

“As you can see, we’ve discovered the tower is located on a peninsula off the western coast. Sheer cliffs, as well as the Pacific Ocean, surround the building on the northern, western, and southern ends. The only access is via this land bridge here on the east side, connecting the prison to the mainland.”

Now they had my attention. The Pacific Ocean…I had never seen the ocean before. The most water I had seen in my whole life was the river on my first day at the rebel camp. Matias spoke to me of the ocean, but I really had no idea what it was or that it was something that existed. Raúl worked pretty hard to keep the fear of drought in all Telvians, which I guessed included me too.

“I presume,” General Bynes interjected, “that the land bridge is heavily guarded?”

Giza nodded. “That is correct, General. Telvian army and REG officers appear to be concentrated on the mainland here, at a checkpoint for anyone attempting to cross the bridge. As well as here, where the bridge ends just before entering the prison. Furthermore, it appears that a fence encases the entire prison right at the edge before the land drops off into the ocean.”

Krous spoke up this time. “What about an aerial assault?”

“Too obvious,” Bynes scoffed.

“Although we don’t have confirmation, we assume the skies are monitored by radar,” Giza confirmed.

Bynes cleared her throat, a tart tone in her voice as she spoke. “Clearly, the skies are of no use. The tower is surrounded by water, high on a cliff, creating natural defenses on all sides of her. The land bridge is a deathtrap. Even if we managed to get through the security checkpoint at the entrance, our team will never escape the bridge. From this imagery, there is no cover at all. They would be exposed to aerial attack or easily trapped on the overpass by Telvian forces on either side of the bridge.” She leaned back into her chair, the disdain etched across the lines of her face. “It would seem to me, Sergeant Major, that this prison is impregnable. Any team you put together and send on this mission is signing up for their own deaths.”

My stomach twisted as my morning muffin started swirling in my stomach in the worst way. As much as I didn’t want to believe her, I wasn’t stupid. She was right. The little hope I had of saving my brother was slowly beginning to fade, to dissolve into a puddle of despair.

Giza cleared his throat as he rolled his shoulders back, standing a little taller. “That is why, General, we will avoid the skies and the land bridge altogether.”

“Oh?” Bynes’s nasty tone was still in place. “And how do you propose to conduct this rescue operation?” Lifting a finger, she interjected with a side note, “Which, might I add, I don’t consider that Telvian scumbag to be in any need of rescuing. As far as I’m concerned, whatever his awful father gives him is more than well deserved.”

I clenched my jaw as I leaned forward to say something. Because no one—and I mean no one—was going to talk about my brother that way. I opened my mouth, ready to tell this woman off when firm pressure was placed on my forearm, and my voice caught as I noticed Wes’s hand holding me in place. I looked up at him, seeing eyes that conveyed warmth and silently told me to wait, to hold my tongue, to calm down. I stared back, my breath still caught in my throat. He held me there as his thumb rubbed slowly across my skin, back and forth, stoking a new flame which had begun to burn deep within me. And all the while, he maintained the easy pressure on my arm. I shivered, exhaling as the anger slowly dissipated from my body, replaced by the familiar sensations and confusing emotions from before.

Sensing my posture relax, the corner of his lips tipped upwards, giving me a gentle and playful smile before he slowly released my arm and let me go. He shifted in his seat, and then returned his attention back to the room as I took a deep breath.

“So tell me, Giza,” the woman pushed back, purposely dropping Giza’s title as a show of total disrespect. “How do you intend to break into an impregnable prison with subpar information? Tell me, because I’m dying to report back to our president how you plan to waste Northern resources to rescue a criminal.”

Giza’s face grew cold, brows pinched, and lips set in a thin line. The silent fuck yous were loud and created thick tension in the room. Giza held his head up higher as he stared this woman down. “Excellent question, General. Our sources believe the prison has one weakness, and we plan to exploit it. It’s true that the land bridge is of no use to us. The Telvians were smart in using the natural landscape of the area to maximize the security of the tower. But that is their weakness.”

“Meaning?” Krous asked.

Giza shifted his attention to the Lieutenant. “We’re going to take a water approach. We’re going to approach the prison from the sea.”

“That’s insane,” Bynes said through gritted teeth. “And who the hell are you going to find to lead this ridiculous suicide mission?”

Giza stiffened, ready to respond, but this time, I didn’t stay silent. I cleared my throat loud and hard and became hyperaware as all eyes turned to me. I stood up as straight and as tall as I could. “Me,” I asserted loud and clear. “I’m going to lead the suicide mission, Ms. Bynes,” channeling my inner Chelsea as I purposefully extended her the same courtesy she extended to Giza. “And I’m going to need you to be less of a bitch about it.”

Boom! Mic drop!

And also…that didn’t go over as well as I’d hoped.

30: Power Plays

“Miss de la Puente,” Giza admonished.

Bynes sneered, “Why you little—”

“I’d be careful, General,” Wes cut in as he remained lazily slouched in his chair, “with what descriptive words you choose next.”

Bynes slammed her mouth shut, biting her tongue, but her gaze sent a thousand knives my way. She looked from me to Wes, and then back to me, before she took in a haughty breath and sat back in her chair. Silence encased us all, and the tension grew thick like butter until Krous finally spoke up.

“So Miss de la Puente will lead the operation. No offense to you, miss,” he cleared his throat, hesitantly looking at me and Wes, “but an operation like this will require someone with greater skill and leadership training. Your team will need to know they can depend on you. They need to trust you. But your, uh…parentage will make it difficult to form a team ready to listen to your command. As Lieutenant General of the North, I recommend the Dissenters reconsider this decision.”

Everyone’s lack of faith in my ability to lead this team wasn’t wrong. I knew I didn’t have the skills or even adequate experience to run a mission like this. But it cut into my mushy, limited self-esteem and had me doubting myself and every decision I’d made. And I…I didn’t know what to say. Heat pumped within me as my cheeks undoubtedly grew red. And I knew what I was feeling…I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that nobody believed in me, nobody thought I could do this. And what was worse, nobody wanted to support me either. Everyone here was against this operation because it meant sacrificing their troops to rescue a man they all saw as the enemy. And I understood that, I really did. But it still sucked…majorly. Because I was alone.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I was at a loss—stuck. Because I had no defense, no logical reasoning I could offer these people. Just my own lack of trust and my own secret motives to be on this mission. But I couldn’t share that with them. Sharing that would prove their greatest suspicions—that I couldn’t be trusted either. And that realization had me closing my mouth as my stomach bubbled.

Giza cleared his throat. “I will share your concern with President De’vor, but I believe—”

“No need, Sergeant Major,” Wes cut in. This time, he sat up, the laziness gone from his posture and the stoic, firm expression that I knew so well was back. Wes cracked his neck, confidence oozing from every pore of his body. And frankly, it made him sexy as hell. I mean, how did he do it? How did he walk around like he was the best thing on earth, taking shit from no one, and owning space like it was his private chamber pot? Truthfully, I was in awe of how Wes, as broken as I knew he was on the inside, could just badass it like nobody’s business.

“Sir?” Giza shifted his attention to Wes.

Wes stood up, assuming his full height. “There’s no need to speak to Sasha about Lieutenant General Krous’s concerns.”

“Mr. Calvernon,” Bynes interjected. Her tone was on-edge, but she kept her attitude in check this time. “Lieutenant General Krous is correct. Regardless of my opposition to the objective of this mission, the choice of making Miss de la Puente point in this operation is absurd. You are asking us to risk valuable resources and to sacrifice lives,” she emphasized. “Your men need to know that, as leaders of this army, they can trust us to make decisions that are in the best interest of this region, with as little risk to them and their lives as possible.”

Bynes stood, rolling her shoulders back. “Sir, I cannot endorse this operation. Not in good conscience. You want me to risk our people to rescue a criminal of war? Fine. I’ll follow your orders. But I will not do so under the leadership of an inexperienced Telvian brat,” she pushed out through gritted teeth.

“Hey!” I objected as I stood, but Wes’s arm flew out, pushing me back into my seat.

“Understood, General,” Wes began. His voice rose only a decibel or two, barely noticeable, but boy, did those eyes burn hot and bright. “I understand your predicament loud and clear.” He leaned forward, extending his arms out in front of him on the table, supporting his weight. “Now allow me to make myself equally clear. You will be mindful of how you address the Telvian brat since that Telvian brat is my promised.”

My breath hitched. It was the first time anyone had spoken of our betrothal in public—certainly the first time Wes had announced it out loud—and it made me…it made me feel… I blinked, trying my best to inhale oxygen into my deprived lungs.

Bynes’s face dropped, the shock displayed across her features as her eyes flicked to me. Clearly, the news was a big surprise to her. Her gaze shifted back to Wes as he continued to speak.

“Furthermore, you can lay your objections to rest. Jacob de la Puente may very well be a war criminal, but he is my soon-to-be brother-in-law. And that,” Wes said with a cocky smile, “well, it makes him family, now doesn’t it?” The laughter slipped from his expression, and he was back to cool, calm, and badass. “So I’d like to see more enthusiasm with the objective of the mission, all right?” It was a rhetorical question. Wes was on a roll, and he didn’t wait for her response. “Finally, you can inform the President that he should feel very motivated to support this operation and to spare no expense on ensuring its success. If you’re truly concerned about our troops, General, and their confidence in Mara’s ability to lead them, then you can reassure them as well that there is nothing to worry about—”

“But, sir—” Bynes tried to interject, but Wes lifted a hand, effectively shutting her up.

“Tell them,” Wes began, his tone icy, “that there is nothing for them to worry about. Mara will be ready for this mission. I can guarantee it because I’ll make sure she’s ready for it. And if there’s any remaining doubt at all, you can tell them Mara won’t lead this operation alone.”

Giza spoke up this time. “Sir?”

Wes ignored him and continued to face Bynes head on. “Because I’m going to lead it with her.”

And then all hell broke loose.

31: Two Can Play that Game

Iwas shocked, sitting with a mixture of thoughts and feelings that I was struggling to sift through while everyone else at the table argued. Every commander was talking over the other while Wes looked bored at the onslaught. If there was one thing I got from all the shouting and snarled faces, it was that absolutely no one thought this was a good idea. In fact, Giza, Bynes, and Krous all seemed to be on the same side, trying to convince Wes that he couldn’t go on the mission.

I had feelings about it too, of course, but I was too dumbstruck to even sort through them. In fact, I was still trying to figure out if Wes had even been invited to the meeting in the first place. And why? Why was he volunteering himself to go and co-lead this thing? Did he think I couldn’t do it either? Did he think I was going to end up getting myself killed, along with my entire team? That would mean no obligation to marry me. Did that bother him? Did he…did he actually want to…? I shook my head. I couldn’t finish the thought.

Wes and I weren’t like that. We were never like that. Sure, we had some interesting, heated moments in our past, but I was convinced ninety-nine percent of those were my fault, caused by my stupid brain getting confused and thinking Wes was Chase. But that hadn’t been the case for a while now. So how did I explain this morning? I couldn’t…not with an explanation that made sense to me.

Maybe Wes wanted to do what was best for his faction and make sure the North gained something from our marriage? Maybe he was tired of always being the black sheep of the family and wanted to prove to his father that he could fulfill his role as the First Son just as well as his brother did? Maybe he was on his own mission. A mission to prove to his family that he was just as good, just as worthy, as his brother?

Now that…that made sense to me. Wes feared his role, ran from it, detested it. But he hated it because he was always the next in line…like me. Never the favorite and always the disappointment. But with Chase gone, Wes was expected to assume all those responsibilities. And sure, maybe he bucked at those expectations at first, but if you had the chance to finally prove to your parents that you were just as great, just as worthy, just as deserving as your sibling…wouldn’t you?

And just like before, the puzzle pieces clicked into place for me, and I finally understood Wes Calvernon. He was going to play the part of a doting fiancé, sweep me off my feet if he could, and marry me, securing a whole lot of wealth and power for his father. And, most importantly, he was going to prove his father wrong. Because there was no greater revenge than success, baby, and Wes was going to flip his dad the biggest middle finger by securing the biggest increase in power for the North. But to do that, he needed me alive. And if there was one thing I knew deeply about Wes, it was that he didn’t trust anyone with a job he deemed important. If he needed me alive, he was going to keep me alive.

Wealth.

Power.

Survival.

Revenge.

It was amazing how much people made sense once you understood that everything boiled down to those four things.

“Thanks for all of your concerns,” Wes spoke with such patronizing calm that it was clear he was communicating to everyone that they could shove their concerns up their butts. “But frankly, I’m tired of this meeting and I’m kind of hungry,” he added as he patted his belly lightly. “So, here’s what you’re all going to do. I want a meeting hosted tomorrow to discuss mission parameters and to select the team. Mara and I will both be there. And then I want training to begin immediately.” The lazy look in his eyes slowly slipped, replaced by furrowed brows, thin lips, and a nasty stare. “The time you spend arguing with me is time you could spend ensuring that this mission is a success with minimal casualties. Do your jobs, and let’s get this shitshow going instead of wasting time.”

“But, sir—” Giza began sternly, looking mighty pissed off himself.

“I said, Sergeant Major, that I’m done talking about this.” Wes met Giza’s gaze, their eyes locking, and exchanged heated stares before Giza rolled his shoulders back and gave one definitive nod, remaining silent. Wes flashed everyone the fakest smile I’d ever seen. “Good. Now that that’s settled, I expect to hear from you all within the next two hours with details.”

“Yes, sir,” they all responded in unison.

Wes cleared his throat and stepped away from the table towards the door. Just as he reached it, he paused, turned around and looked right at me. I was still glued to my chair, overwhelmed, lost about what just happened, and unsure of how I felt about Wes’s involvement in all this. Understanding his motives left me feeling a little, well, disappointed if I was honest with myself. But I couldn’t figure out why.

Wes cleared his throat. “Are you coming, or what?”

“Uh…” I stood up and gave a half nod to everyone in the room. “Thanks,” was all I could muster before I stepped away quickly and followed Wes out the door.

***

We were standing outside the building, waiting for Smiley and Roger to bring our respective cars around to pick us up. And it was awkward. So much happened so fast, and now I didn’t know what to say. Moreover, I had a million questions, and I wanted answers for all of them. Then again, a part of me was nervous to ask and find my suspicions confirmed. What I just couldn’t put my finger on was why did I feel bothered by it? That piece made no sense to me.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a meeting with Giza this morning?” Wes’s curt voice caught me off guard, startling me.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you,” he began again slowly, like I was an idiot, “tell me…you were…meeting with Giza?” He dragged the whole thing out.

Since when did I need to tell him my business? “Last time I checked, you aren’t my babysitter anymore.” My words came out with a bite, and I knew that Wes knew exactly what I meant when I used the word babysitter. So often in the rebel camp, that’s exactly how he referred to himself whenever he was stuck training with me.

He got the reference, looking taken aback. He hesitated, and then cleared his throat, standing a little taller as he spoke. “True. But last time I checked, you and I are stuck in a tighter bond than babysitting. If we’re going to do this, it would be nice if we started trusting each other a bit more.” He looked at me, eyes sincere but filled with fiery energy I couldn’t peg. “As in actually telling each other what’s going on. Just a suggestion…” he added sarcastically.

“Oh yeah,” I fired back hotly, “then why didn’t you tell me you were meeting with Giza?”

“I wasn’t.”

Wait, what? “Hold up…were you not just in the same craptastic meeting I was?”

Wes sighed, looking at the sky before speaking. “I didn’t have a meeting with Giza. You mentioned meeting with him before you ran off this morning. So I made a few calls and got my ass over here.”

“Why?”

Wes cracked his neck as he rolled his head over his shoulders, then glanced at me with a bored expression. “Why what?”

God, I hated when he played stupid. “Come on, Wes. Why did you come? This has nothing to do with you.”

His expression changed, flickering through an emotion that looked like…hurt? No, why would he be hurt? It disappeared quickly, and his features went back to annoyance. “Well, it has something to do with me now. So moving forward, when you’ve got meetings like these, you tell me,” he demanded.

I didn’t like it.

“Oh, well excuse me, your highness. I didn’t mean to get your boxers all up in a bunch, but I don’t have to tell you squat, got it? And you didn’t answer my question. Why the hell are you here?”

He stood up straight, turning to face me as he crossed his arms, muscles bulging deliciously under the sleeves of his t-shirt. “I’m not asking you, Mara, I’m telling you. I’m co-leading this operation now, and I’d like for us both to come back alive. Unlike you, I don’t have a death wish—”

“I don’t have a death wish,” I argued back. “And you can’t boss me around like that, Wes. Co-leaders don’t boss each other around.”

Wes scoffed. “Clearly you’ve never been a leader then.”

Ouch…that one, that one hurt. I stayed silent as my brows knitted together and a frown took over my lips. Wes noticed the shift, flicking his gaze toward me. Then the scowl dropped from his face.

“Hey,” he began, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Whatever. I didn’t need to hear his lame excuses. It didn’t matter, anyway. “It’s fine,” I said sharply. “Whatever… We just sat in a meeting for over an hour arguing about how I’m not fit to lead. Fine,” I spat out. “So maybe I’m not a leader.” I shifted my gaze back to him, hardening myself, letting my hurt surround me and act like a shield. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you can’t boss me around or tell me what I can or can’t do.”

His face went blank, holding my gaze, until he finally nodded.

“Good. Now, will you please tell me why you came? Why did you get yourself mixed up in this whole thing?” The curiosity was burning within me. And even though his comment struck a nerve that had just been banged on like a drum on New Year, it didn’t replace my desire to understand why Wes got himself involved. I knew what I thought I knew…that ultimately, he wanted to advance the power and wealth of the North. But that didn’t explain why he showed up in my room this morning, or why he invited himself to a meeting that he didn’t know about to begin with. It didn’t explain the heated, silent exchange between him, me, and my damn nightstand.

Wes hesitated, his poker face slipping into place, but his eyes revealed a storm that was whirling and brewing and calculating. I watched as he squared his jaw and chewed the inside of his cheek as though he was buying himself time to craft an answer he felt comfortable with. A response that answered the question while revealing nothing at all.

And I didn’t want that. I wanted the truth.

So, I decided to play a card from his very own playbook. Wes always got up into my personal space, and that always threw me off, left me stuttering, and, to my chagrin, caused me to blubber out thoughts and emotions I would rather remain hidden in the depths of my soul. But two could play that game.

Without thinking it through, I stepped toward him, closing the gap between us, and a part of me felt deliciously satisfied as his eyes grew wide, the stoic expression dropping from his face. Because for the first time, I was the aggressor, placing a hand on his chest, feeling the rhythm of his heart escalate as I brought my face only inches from his. But Wes didn’t back down or step away. His molten hazel eyes locked onto mine, and I could practically see him scrambling to regain control of himself.

“Tell me, Wes,” my voice low, almost a whisper. “Why did you come?”

“I…” he began, his body rigid as stone.

And what he said next had my body boiling all over again.

32: Never Again

Wes shifted, the first hint of movement since I’d encroached into his personal bubble. The shock slowly left his eyes as a predatory hunger took over, causing my facade to crack. And I knew exactly what he was doing as he did it. He leaned in toward me, pushing into my hand as his own snaked around, catching my lower back, drawing me closer to him so that no space remained.

With his lips only an inch away from mine, he whispered back, “I think we’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“What?”

Wes let me go, backing away as a limo pulled up next to us. Roger popped out the front and walked around to open the door for him.

I blinked. I was super not happy. “Wes, wait just one freaking minute,” I scolded as I turned to face him, watching as he began stepping into the car. “You owe me an explanation.”

Wes hesitated, and then looked at me, his lazy, cocky grin sliding into place. And that just pissed me off even more. “What was it you said to me a second ago? Co-leaders can’t tell each other what to do?”

I grimaced as my own words came flying back at me. If I thought I was annoyed and angry before, I was discovering a whole new level. “That’s not fair. That’s not what I was talking about.”

He chuckled. The jerk actually chuckled at me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was enjoying this. “That’s the thing, Mara. You can’t pick when and where the rules apply. You’re not in Telvia anymore. I’m your partner, in more ways than one, it would seem, and I’m willing to meet you halfway.” His eyes grew serious, but there wasn’t a single mean line in his face. Instead, I saw sincerity and an openness I rarely saw from Wes. “So which one is it?”

“I…” It was my turn to stutter. Because suddenly, I didn’t think we were talking about the same thing anymore. And I wasn’t sure how to respond. “I don’t know what—”

“Cut the crap, Mara,” Wes cut in as he shifted his weight, taking a step away from the car. He walked back over to me, finger pointed as he poked my chest. “I know there’s something going on. I’m not stupid. You want me to be honest with you, to tell you what’s really going on in my head? You’ve got it. I’ll lay it all out for you. But not until you come clean first.”

Crap. “I—I, um,” I blubbered. Damn it, damn it, damn it!

“I what, Mara? What’s going on? What’s happening that you’re not telling me?”

I inhaled sharply, realizing my breath had been trapped in my throat and my lungs were starving for oxygen. This was not how I imagined this going. And I couldn’t figure out what Wes suspected, but all I could assume was that he knew I was going to run. That I wasn’t going to stick around to see the wedding through. But how the hell did he figure it out? And if I admitted that, and I was wrong, I could only imagine the shitstorm that would rain down on me then. I opened my lips again, scrambling to come up with something—anything—to get him off the trail. “I…”

Wes’s eyes grew hard, his body stiffening as the silence ticked and the tension grew hot and thick between us. And just as I thought I was about to explode, he backed away from me, releasing the pressure. “That’s what I thought.” His words came out soft but firm, and the emotion I heard hanging on them told me he was bothered by my lack of a response. “That’s fine, Mara. Keep your secrets,” he tossed out as he turned away and climbed into the car. “But don’t expect me to reveal mine, either.” The door slammed shut, ending our conversation.

I sighed, my chest feeling heavy. There was no hiding the disappointment I felt, but the worst feeling was the guilt that was slowly crawling into my belly and curling up into a tight ball that felt like a rock. I watched as Roger got into the driver’s seat, revved the engine, and drove away, leaving me deflated and feeling like a rotten human being.

***

I avoided dinner that night. No way in hell was I going to be there to face Wes after everything that happened that morning. Moreover, I suspected that his dad and mom weren’t going to be too happy with him and his little stunt at the base. I seemed to remember Sasha telling me that Marissa was furious when he volunteered for the Admin Job. I could only imagine her reaction when she found out that he muscled himself into a position of not only participating in Jacob’s rescue mission, but actually leading the damn thing. I had no doubt that, somehow, she was going to blame me for the whole debacle. If she didn’t hate me before, she was definitely going to detest me now. And frankly, I had no desire to be a witness to how that whole drama was going to go down. No thank you!

So I bailed on dinner and asked for food to be delivered to my room instead. When I heard a knock on my door, my stomach twisted into a pretzel. It was a maid delivering my food, and the tension in my body eased. I was half expecting Wes to be there, holding the tray just like he did this morning. Despite feeling relieved that it was just the maid, another part of me felt disappointed, and that part had me scratching my head and tossing all night in bed, trying to figure out what the hell was going on inside of me. Eventually, I fell asleep late in the night. When my alarm finally went off at eight in the morning, I was still tired and just wanted to curl up into a ball and forget about the world.

But I couldn’t do that.

Wes had scheduled a second meeting for today, this time with a potential team present, and I had to be there. So I pushed myself to get out of bed, got ready, requested coffee to-go with another muffin, and put in a request for a ride to be ready for me ASAP. Deciding to look as much like a military leader as possible, I opted to wear my standard cadet uniform with my standard-issued black boots. I pulled my hair back in the cleanest, tightest bun I had ever accomplished, and made sure everything about me was neat and crisp. And dare I say it, if it weren’t for my stepmom being a complete bitch, I think she’d actually be proud of how close I got to absolute perfection.

Muffin half eaten and to-go cup in hand, I sipped coffee as I waited outside at the foot of the stairs leading into the estate. I took in deep, full breaths of fresh air. The early morning sun was warm, and the heat of the day was already starting. The humidity was no picnic either, and I could swear that just breathing could keep me hydrated.

But it sure was beautiful. The long cypress-lined driveway, the giant babbling fountain, and all the trees that actually rustled in the wind, sounding like whispers in the air. It was amazing to see how different Telvia was from the rest of the world. A world I never knew existed. A world I, as well as the rest of the Telvian people, had been denied for almost two decades, simply because Raúl wanted to keep his stupid position as president. Simply because he valued power and control over truth and the wellbeing of those he pledged to serve.

It was disgusting.

The more I saw, the more I learned, the more I shivered at the fact that I took everything he said as the unquestionable truth. How stupid and naïve I was. How ridiculous and absurd that I never used my head to put the pieces together and see that Raúl was full of crap. But I guess that’s what happens when you’re beaten down for so much as whispering a thought that might be considered out of line. Telvian Administration squelched out any independent thought, and fear kept the people obedient.

I was no different.

First Daughter or not, my parents were ready to slaughter me, to burn me alive in front of the masses as an example of what would happen if you dissented against the government. Part of me thought it was just because of who I was. That because I was the bastard child, sacrificing me was an easy decision, one that Belinda was all too happy to orchestrate. But I guess I never should have taken it personally. Because the moment Jacob picked me over them, they were ready to do the same. Ready to execute him in front of a live audience—the esteemed general of the REG—slaughtered at the hands of his own parents.

I shivered.

I couldn’t let Jacob share Chase’s fate. And that was why this mission had to work; why I was going to do everything in my power to make it happen. Train as hard as I had to, kiss whatever ass I had to, agree to whatever terms I had to. Chase died because of me. There was no way in hell I was going to allow that to happen again.

Not now, not ever.

Never again.

33: Mission Parameters

The last thing I wanted to do was share an hour-long car ride with Wes, which is exactly what ended up happening. While I was standing outside the mansion waiting for my ride, Wes strolled up and parked himself right next to me. And it was awkward…really, really awkward.

We said nothing. Zero words. Just stiff bodies and eyes that looked everywhere but at each other. Or at least that’s what I was doing, and I’m pretty sure he was doing the same. When the car pulled up, I said a silent prayer that Wes was going to drive separately. But nope! Of course not. No sooner did I climb into the car did he follow right in after me. So there we were, sitting next to each other in the town car, tension thick and the Awkward Meter cranked up to eleven.

And it was like that the entire. Freaking. Drive. One long hour, sitting in silence, with my co-leader/future husband a foot away from me. It was awful. And I was pretty sure I was going to claw my eyes out or literally burst from the awkwardness of it all when we finally arrived at the base. I didn’t even wait for Smiley to get the door. I clawed onto the handle and busted out as though there was a bomb in the car and the timer had just ticked down to zero.

Of course, my little show garnered the first frown I had ever seen from the driver. Smiley became Frowny, looking concerned and confused. I gave an embarrassed half smile and awkward wave before mumbling, “I’m fine,” and then looked away with a heavy sigh. A few seconds later, I heard the car door close and the engine rev up, tires gripping the asphalt. On instinct, I turned to watch him drive off, only to be reminded of the fact that I wasn’t alone. And there, standing stiff and unwelcomed, was Wes. Classic scowl in place, and the hint of a glare in his eyes.

Oh yes…he was still pissed. No doubt about it.

Clearly, my thought of dressing in military garb wasn’t a dumb idea because Wes did the same thing. What was so not fair was that the olive-green shirt pulled out the flecks of green in his hazel eyes, while the same shade just made my eyes look like mud. His hair was neatly combed, pulled back low at the nape of his neck. Placing his hands in his pockets, he shifted his gaze from me and walked straight past me into the building I was becoming way too familiar with.

It’s okay, Mara. It’s going to be okay.

Collecting myself, I marched on, following his lead. Inside, we met with the same secretary that always worked the front desk. Wes spoke to her while I held back, giving him space. After a minute or two, she pointed down the hall, and Wes moved, never looking behind to see if I was following. That part bothered me a bit, but I swallowed it down.

We made a right down a hall I hadn’t been in before, and then left down another, until we came to two double doors at the end of the hallway. Without so much as glimpsing at me, Wes pushed on the doors and let himself in. I paused, feeling my heart climb to a staccato beat, my stomach suddenly swirling. Forget butterflies. These beasts were raptors, diving and swooping in my gut, making me nauseous and regretting my morning muffin.

Come to think of it, muffins were not going over well for me. This military business was way too intense for stupid muffins. I needed to work on getting some serious food in my stomach. Some protein, fruit, a carrot—anything—because the pastries were always on the edge of being hurled all over the polished floors.

I rubbed my face, trying my best to take deep breaths to ease my anxiety. I just didn’t get it. Why was this so intense for me?

“Hey, girly!”

I jumped, startled, but recognized the voice instantly, and whirled around to see familiar brown eyes, a devious smile, and jet-black hair wrestled into a sleek low-lying bun.

“Edith!” I embraced her, gripping her, so grateful to see her.

“Hey,” she said again, wrapping her arms around me cheerily. But it only took a second before she asked, “Mara?”

Something about how I clung to her must have revealed I needed this hug. That this was more than just a hello, but a lifeline. “Whoa,” she mumbled gingerly, stroking my back. “Is everything okay?”

I couldn’t reply. I just held her, leaning into her embrace, soaking in as much comfort as I could and allowing her secure hold to settle the anxiety reeling in my stomach. And Edith, being the amazing human being that she was, knew exactly what to do. She didn’t poke. She didn’t pry. She didn’t push me away. She just held me. After several minutes, my heart finally settled. My breathing slowed back into a reasonable rhythm, and once I was in control again, I released her from my desperate hug.

“Well,” she started, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I never took you for the gooey, physical type, but I’m down for that,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

I shrugged. “Yeah. I guess sometimes you just need a hug, you know?”

“Don’t we all? But seriously, you okay?”

I paused. Was I okay? I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just nervous.”

“Uh huh.” Edith cocked a brow, clearly doubting my assessment. “Well, if you weren’t okay, that would be fine, too.”

“I am okay,” I insisted.

She put her hands up in mock surrender. “I believe you. I’m just saying that if you weren’t, no one would blame you.”

Easy for her to say. She wasn’t about to lead a suicide mission that no one believed she could do. “I know.”

“Good. Now, are you ready to get this show on the road?”

I nodded, and together, we pushed the doors open and walked into the room.

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but I guess an auditorium made sense. It wasn’t that big, but the room accommodated at least fifty people. And it sat mostly empty. Only twenty of the stadium-style seats were taken with soldiers dressed in their matching clothes and regulatory hairstyles. At the very front was a huge projector screen where Giza, Bynes, and Krous stood, dressed in their uniforms, decorated to the nine with their medals and stars. And next to them stood Wes, arms crossed, muscles bulging, and looking pissed off…of course.

“You better get up there,” Edith whispered in my ear. “I’ll catch you after.”

I gulped, trying to swallow the lump forming in my throat as my heart tap-danced in my chest. I took a deep breath, trying my best to steady my nerves, and stepped down the stairs to the front. A look around the room showed blank faces, none of whom I recognized in the sea of glaring eyes. I tried to set my sights straight ahead, but caught Wes staring at me, his stoic mask firmly in place. The hazel of his eyes glowed and flickered, and something about them told me he was calling me forward, telling me not to be afraid. Of course, there’s no way I could possibly know if that was what he was actually thinking. He could have been mentally telling me to eff off and fly a kite. But in that moment, I just needed to believe that he was welcoming me, encouraging me to take my place beside him. And suddenly, I was struck with the irony of the moment.

Here I was, walking down an aisle, surrounded by people, all eyes on me, and I was walking to take my place next to Wes Calvernon. In a weird way, it felt almost like I was walking down the aisle at my wedding, walking towards the man who I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. My breath caught, and suddenly, calm washed over me, all the angst melting away.

It’s funny how our brains work—interesting that the thought of marrying Wes didn’t feel so scary anymore. There was no way in hell it was going to happen, but it didn’t feel so off-putting, and that…that part was, well, weird.

As I reached the front, I stood next to him, shoulder-to-shoulder, our eyes staring at each other. It was only a moment, but something about the stare felt deeper, more intimate. I blinked, and then his hazel eyes gleamed before he shifted his feet and stared forward at the crowd. I couldn’t help it…I smiled. Something about the moment caused warmth to flutter within me.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Giza began. “Today, we’re discussing Operation Silent Night. This is a joint military effort between Dissenter and Northern forces. It will require a highly skilled team to infiltrate a Telvian prison to retrieve a prisoner of war.” The projector flickered, and the screen behind us displayed my brother’s face. Whispers mumbled among the audience as Giza continued. “This is Jacob de la Puente, First Son of the Telvian Presidential Family, and former General of the REG. He is being held in the Bellfire Tower.” More murmurs spread throughout the crowd, and Giza paused for another moment to allow everyone to settle down.

Bynes stepped forward this time and began speaking. “For the first time in history, we have schematics, detailed building plans, rotation schedules, and access codes of the tower. This data will increase our chances of success. However, make no mistake, this operation is highly dangerous, with low chances of success and a high chance of casualties.” Bynes allowed silence to fill the space, giving a hard, stern stare at those watching. This time, everyone stayed silent. No whispers, just dead silence.

Giza cleared his throat, bringing the attention back to him. “The mission will require a team of six soldiers. Of those six, four have already been selected. That means we need two more individuals for the team.” Giza breathed in deeply, “Due to the…” Giza paused, hesitating on how to say his next words, but he didn’t get a chance. Bynes stepped forward again, taking back control of the floor.

“Due to the suicidal nature of this operation,” she declared in her nasty tone, “we are looking for volunteers to comprise the rest of the team.” She paused for only a moment before adding sarcastically, “Any takers?”

I glared at her. I knew she was against the mission, but honestly, it was like she wanted the whole thing to fail.

The room stayed quiet. The only sounds were people clearing their throats or the creaking of wood as they shifted in their seats. I looked out at the crowd, at the sea of faces, and all I saw were angry eyes.

“No offense, ma’am,” someone piped up, “but why the hell are we going to risk our lives for that asshole?” I whipped my head around to see who spoke, but I missed them.

“Yeah,” another voice added. “If he’s in the tower, his ass is grass anyway. Let him rot!” A series of voices sang out their agreement in unison.

“Why are we going to die for him?” someone asked.

“He deserves to die,” another cried, with several others shouting their approval.

“I’m not risking my life for some fucking Telvian!”

And then the room broke out in pandemonium as the voices cried out. Giza and Krous both tried to speak, trying to regain control while Bynes remained quiet, eyes intense, with the hint of a smirk on her face.

And I…I crumbled from the inside out. My cheeks felt hot, sweat beading on my brow as my heart hammered itself against my ribs, threatening to break them from the force. My stomach churned, the nausea a ferocious force within me. I tried to swallow, but the knot in my throat kept anything from going in or out, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I placed my hand on my chest, trying my best to keep control of myself, but I was losing it. Panic welled up within me as moisture built up in my eyes, blurring my vision with tears that threatened to fall.

No one wanted to help me. And how could I expect them to? How could I think anyone would sacrifice their life for Jacob’s? How stupid was I to think that this would work, that I could save him?

The thoughts kept whirling within me, kept spinning as I hyperventilated, feeling myself being consumed by the disdain in the room—the hate for me, my brother, and all Telvians—and the sheer bitter truth that this mission was doomed to fail. It all came crashing down, caving in, destroying any glimmer of hope that kept me going day in and day out. My vision flickered, darkness circling in, narrowing the light until I thought I would go blind, and—

Warmth brushed against my ear, fluttering the delicate baby hairs. “Stay with me, Mara.” A whisper…a sweet, deep, and encouraging whisper. And the tenderness, the delicate nature of it, caused me to inhale deeply and hold my breath.

Pressure, gentle but firm, fell on my lower back at my waistline. And the deep voice embraced my ear once again, the warm breath falling down my neck. “Stay with me,” it repeated. And this time, the darkness receded, giving me more awareness of my surroundings once more as I slowly regained control of my breath. I blinked, my eyelids fluttering as my heart slowly settled, and I turned to face the voice. As I did, my nose brushed against his, my eyes sweeping across the chiseled angular features I knew so well, until they met the green and golden-amber hues of Wes’s eyes.

And in that moment, the rest of the world fluttered away. The voices disappeared, the chaos fell into the background, and all I could see—all I could feel—was Wes. I felt his hand supporting my back, felt the heat of his body so close to mine, and felt the gentle brush as our noses touched when I shifted to face him. The warmth of his breath was on me, the heat of his body engulfed me, and suddenly…

It all came crashing back.

34: Hell Games

“SILENCE,” Giza shouted, causing me to jump back from Wes as the room of sneering faces came crashing back into my reality. In all the months that I had known Giza, I had never seen him lose his composure before. The look on his face screamed disappointment as he stepped forward. “Now, I understand your sentiments, your confusion of why we would ask you to engage in this operation. But that is none of your concern. You all are soldiers who have pledged allegiance to this nation. You all are the best of the best. And you will do your jobs and respect the decisions made by your commanding officers. Do you understand?”

I was pretty sure the question was rhetorical, and clearly everyone else did too, since they all kept their mouths shut. I trembled, remnants of the panic attack that threatened to consume me not but a minute ago. I’d felt panic before, but never like that. Never something so intensely overwhelming. But Wes…he…

“So,” Giza began again, “let me try this again. We need two volunteers.”

Crickets.

Nada.

Nothing.

You could have heard a pin drop in the auditorium. Until Wes spoke…

“Listen up,” he said, voice deep as he stepped forward, taking center stage. “You all know me. And I get that none of you want to do this. That’s fair. But we need this man,” he said as he pointed at Jacob’s picture. “This is the former general of the REG, and he’s the First Son. If he’s anything like me or my brother, then he’s been groomed from day one to become the future leader of Telvia.”

He paused only for a moment, eyes scanning the crowd. “Imagine what he knows? Imagine what information he can give us? This man knows everything. Do you hear me? Everything. Every alley, every backdoor entrance, every Telvian military strategy, every secret operation. Everything! And he’s on our side now. He’s on our side because of her,” he emphasized, pointing at me and sending all eyes my way. This time, however, their eyes weren’t angry or filled with disdain. They were curious, engaged, calculating. “Because of her, Jacob de la Puente is dissenting from Telvia, and Raúl knows it. He’s ordering the execution of his own fucking son because he’s scared. He knows that if we get our hands on this man, he’s fucking toast. So if you want to win this war, if you want the constant threat of a Telvian attack to be over, then it’s time to man up and help us bring Jacob de la Puente home.”

“Or woman up, thank you very much.” I looked out into the crowd and instantly smiled. Edith stood up, a wicked grin on her face as she stepped out of her row and sauntered down the aisle toward us. “A dangerous, secret ops mission. Low chance of survival. Sounds like my kind of circus. And since no one else has found their testicles yet,” she declared, arms opened wide as she surveyed the crowd, “then you can count me in. I’ll help bring that sexy ass home,” she declared with a purr.

Oh my god… Of course, she had to add that last piece, because this girl found anything with two legs and a penis to be hot and sexy. Heat bloomed across my face. Edith may not have been talking about me, but that was my brother up there. And it was definitely embarrassing, but Edith just about skipped as she twirled around to face the crowd on the right side of me, bumping my shoulder. I mouthed thank you, and she winked in return.

Giza stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Excellent, Miss Le. Your faction thanks you.” She saluted him in response. Giza redirected his attention to the auditorium. “We need one more. Who else volunteers?” Everyone averted their gazes, turning in their seats to see if any of their comrades were going to volunteer. But the room stayed quiet.

“I’ll volunteer,” a male voice called out. I looked around, trying to figure out who it was, scanning up the rows of people until my sight caught movement at the top by the double doors. My jaw unhinged as he stepped into the aisle, hands in his pockets. A kaleidoscope of emotions swirled within me as time stood still. Because this was the last person I would ever expect to volunteer on a rescue mission for my brother. A person I thought was gone from my life for good.

But I was wrong.

Because the second to volunteer was Matias.

I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know if I should be happy or angry, confused, or relieved. All I knew was that watching Matias walk down that aisle, deep brown eyes set on me, I felt…everything. Everything cascaded within me.

Matias made it to the front, stopping in front of Wes as their gazes locked. It was only a few seconds, but those seconds felt like they stretched for eternity. Hard, intense eyes. Firm lines etched across their faces. Brows dipped into delicate V’s. And then it was gone, so fast that I wasn’t sure if anyone else caught it. Matias brought his attention back to me and walked past Wes like he was nothing more than a potted plant. I felt the fervor of his eyes on me as he swept by and took his place on the other side of Edith.

“Very good,” Giza said. Melancholy and pride warred on his face as he surveyed the four of us. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that it would be the four of you going into this.” He hesitated, rubbing his chin as he searched for words. I thought I caught a glimmer of moisture in his eyes before he cleared his throat and nodded his head in resolution. Giza faced the room again. “You are all dismissed. Return to your assigned duties.”

The sound of chairs scraping along the ground shattered the silence as Giza looked at us once more. “Time is not our friend, soldiers. We’ll need to begin training immediately.” Lifting his wrist, he gazed at his tab, and then back at us. “Take a seat. The rest of the team should be here any minute. We’ll review the rest of the mission parameters and discuss the training schedule.” With that, he left us and walked back to Bynes and Krous.

Then it got weird.

Wes crossed the couple of feet separating us just as Matias moved toward me. The result being that both men came face-to-face once more, locking eyes in one of those testosterone-filled, macho stare downs. If eyes could generate electricity, they’d be powering the whole effing place, because something was happening, and I had no freaking clue what it was or why. None of us moved as crackling tension filled the space, its intensity palpable.

Thank god for Edith. She broke the silence, slipping herself between them and pushing them both back. “All of you might be down for standing around like mannequins, but I’m tired of standing. And I know we’re about to get worked like a plow horse during harvest. So pardon me as I take this girl,” she grabbed my arm and looped it around hers, “and move us to the chairs. But you boys, play nice,” she added.

Gratitude was not nearly a strong enough word for what I felt toward Edith at that moment, because the awkwardness was painful. She pulled me along, leading me down the aisle to the second row. Just as we sat down, the double doors opened, startling both of us. I whipped around to see who it was and was immediately filled with apprehension.

An older man walked in, dressed in the same clothing as everyone else. He wasn’t the problem. The problem was the girl with the perfect blonde bun and standard uniform that complemented and accentuated every curve of her body, which was so not fair. I knew this girl, and I was sincerely hoping she was in the wrong place.

“Harper, Haeflinger,” Bynes called out. “Have a seat,” she said, pointing toward us.

Oh no…no, no, no. Not her!

“Well, crap,” Edith moaned. “No offense, Mara, but if I’d known Calista was going to be on this thing, there’s no way in hell I would have volunteered.” I buried my face in my hands. This couldn’t be happening.

“Allow me to introduce Calista Haeflinger, Field Medic,” Bynes interjected. “Top of her class in hand-to-hand combat, and valedictorian at the military academy.” I watched as a proud smile crawled on Blondie’s lips. Bynes held a hand out to the man. “And James Harper, Combat Engineer, and seasoned veteran. Harper has completed more successful missions than any other Northerner.” She glanced at Calista and Harper with pride. “Both of these individuals are exceptional soldiers, hand-picked for their experience and aptitude in their positions. They’re incredible assets to this mission.” Her eyes slowly shifted to me. “You’re lucky to have them.”

I pressed my lips into a thin line.

“Well, now that everyone’s here, let’s get started,” Giza announced, clasping his hands together.

Those still standing found a spot and readied themselves for the onslaught of information. We sat for hours, reviewing everything from the terrain, possible pitfalls, escape routes, roles, and everything else you could imagine. The whole time they talked, my mind kept cycling through the thought that Blondie was part of the mission. In fact, she and Jim Harper were Sasha’s picks, assigned to stick to me like glue, making sure I came back alive. Which, of course, boiled my blood because the last person I wanted following me around was Calista.

What rotten luck.

“Now,” Krous interjected, “beginning tomorrow, you’ll be starting new training assignments to prepare for the mission. We’ll be running drills, and you’ll be practicing your assigned roles.”

“Yes,” Bynes confirmed. “After speaking with the First in Command and President Calvernon, they agreed that, as a special thank you, you are all invited to the gala.”

Gala?

Giza stepped forward. “Yes, President Calvernon and President De’vor will host a special gala one week before the mission to make a special announcement. But you will all be honored, so plan to attend.”

Oh shit. I had forgotten about the stupid ball thing. I was so wrapped up in trying to get this mission off the ground, it had completely slipped my mind. My stomach rumbled in protest as I tried to breathe. I knew what the ‘special announcement’ was supposed to be—my engagement.

“Ooo,” Edith gushed, “I love a good party.”

“Yes,” Bynes acknowledged with a raised brow. “Do remember, it will be at the President’s estate, Miss Le.”

“Oh, don’t worry, General. I’ll behave,” she said with a wink. Bynes rolled her eyes.

“Well,” Giza cut in, “I think that’ll do for today. We start early tomorrow.”

With that, everyone started getting up. Blondie sauntered over to Wes, placing a hand on his chest playfully with a smile. Acid bubbled up in my throat.

“Well, this is gonna be something,” Edith teased as she stood up.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be something all right,” I said as I got up and stretched my arms, turning away from Wes and Calista. I just couldn’t handle that right now.

“You and I are going to have to do some serious gossiping, newbie.”

“About?”

Edith lifted a brow incredulously. “What do you think?” Motioning her head toward Matias.

I watched as he stood up from his seat, stretched his back, and looked at me. Our eyes met, and all the confusing emotions came rolling back.

Matias.

I didn’t get it. Why was he volunteering to do this? It didn’t make any sense.

“Honestly?” I began, “I was hoping you could shed some light on it for me.”

“I’ve got nothing for you, girly. I’m stumped. But,” she added, a devious smile coming across her face, “you could ask him.”

I arched a brow. “Are you kidding? Do you know how weird things ended between us?”

Edith shrugged, her smirk still well in place. “Sounds to me like maybe things haven’t ended like you thought.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying—”

“Hey,” Wes’s voice in my ear caused me to jump.

“God, you scared me,” I said, placing my hand over my thumping heart.

He cleared his throat, shifting his weight. “We’ve got to go.”

“Now?”

“We’ve got a drive ahead of us and a long day tomorrow.”

“Oh,” I mumbled. “Yeah, okay.” I looked at Edith. “I guess I’ll catch you tomorrow.”

“Mmhmm. Let the hell games begin.”

I laughed, thinking she was joking, but I guess that was my naivete. Because she was right—the hell games were indeed about to begin.

35: Dining with Mr. Hyde

The ride back was just as stiff as before, made more awkward by the moment we shared when I was on the brink of a full-fledged panic attack.

Stay with me, Mara.

His words—his voice—just kept reverberating through my mind, over and over again. And every time I thought I might turn to say something, I would see his body, rigid as stone, focused intently out his window. The words would hang on my tongue for a second, until I would close my mouth and look out my own window again. I just wasn’t sure where to go from here.

Once we were home, Smiley let me out of the car first. I bolted up the steps and raced back to my room, seeking solace. As it turned out, there was no safe haven there either. No sooner had I crossed the threshold of my door when a maid showed up, telling me Marissa fully expected me to have dinner in the dining room tonight. I was told to hurry—“chop, chop”—and get dressed for dinner because I was going to be late.

I hustled to shower and threw on a pair of black skinny jeans and a pastel pink blouse that was actually quite flattering on me. Then I was out my door and off to the dining room. I had been at Castle Calvernon for several days, yet had only ever eaten in the dining room twice, both of which were insanely uncomfortable for me. Needless to say, I wasn’t looking forward to eating there again.

Turning a corner, I came up to the dining room door, which gave way easily under the pressure of my hand. There, with their meals before them, were the Calvernons—their napkins in their laps, utensils still sitting neatly in their place—and all three of them turned to face me as I stepped into the room. My face grew hot as I realized they had been waiting for me to show up before taking so much as a lick of their food. Well crap…

“Um,” the sound fell off my lips flatly, “you could have started without me—”

“Nonsense,” Charles waved me off. “We were in no rush to begin.”

“Of course,” Marissa chimed in as she blinked softly—delicately—her eyes boring into me. “As a young lady of your stature should know, it is poor etiquette to eat when all are not present at the table.”

I blew out a breath. Shit. Yeah, I guess a ‘lady of my stature’ would know if she ever ate real food! How was I supposed to know? And besides, it’s not like my family ever treated me like I counted at the table. I very well could have been the dog coming to swallow stupid nourishment pills.

“They don’t eat food, Mom.” Wes’s deep voice caught me by surprise, and I turned to face him.

“Well,” Marissa began, a smile coming to her lips, “maybe if she dined with us more often, she would learn.” Wes threw her a haughty stare, but she was too focused on me to even notice.

“Yes, well,” Charles interjected, “why don’t you sit down, Mara. Do you mind if I call you Mara?” He didn’t wait for me to respond. “We’ve got much to discuss.”

With a deep breath, I walked to the chair across from Wes. He watched me under hooded eyes, stoic mask firmly in place. Having observed everyone’s napkin in their lap, I quickly did the same.

“Perfect. Well, let’s begin by discussing the gala,” Charles announced.

Oh great.

Wes picked up his fork and knife and began carving the thick slab of charred meat, while Marissa grabbed her wineglass and took a sip of the rich burgundy liquid.

“Now, we’ll be inviting all the big players, naturally. And of course, we’ll be inviting our allies to the east.”

“Mmhmm,” Wes mumbled as he ate, never so much as glancing at his father. But Charles never seemed to notice. He just went on and on and on about a guest list I couldn’t have cared less about.

“Marissa, you’ll be ordering the flower arrangements tomorrow?”

“Yes, dear.” It could have been just me, but I was pretty sure I detected a hint of annoyance in her tone. I reached for my glass of water and started sipping it.

“Wonderful. Oh! No, Mara. Try the wine. I’ve had this bottle opened especially for you,” Charles said.

“What?” I looked at Charles and then at the glass sitting in front of me, filled with the same burgundy liquid. “Um, I’ve never had wine before. We don’t have alcohol in Telvia. I’ve never—”

“Well,” Marissa interjected, her voice saccharine, “then you should absolutely have some. And remember, dear,” she said with an unusual emphasis on the last word, “it’s poor etiquette to leave an expensive glass of premium wine untouched.”

I glared. I couldn’t help it. Something about her tone and her total attitude…it was like she was trying to show Charles I was a terrible match for Wes. And frankly, it pissed me off. I gave her an equally, overly sweet smile, reached for my glass, and took a big sip.

And oh my god, it was a bad idea. The liquid burned as it passed my tonsils and coursed down my throat, leaving my esophagus feeling as though I had just swallowed acid. Yuck! But I gulped it down, almost choking, and plastered on the biggest smile I could. Marissa gave a knowing smile back, victory gleaming in her eyes as she raised her glass to me and took another sip. I raised my glass at her, forcing myself to take another drink before reaching for my water to chase it down.

“Excellent,” Charles said with a genuine smile in his eye. “Absolutely excellent. Now, let’s discuss the next matter of business. And, of course, this is the pièce de résistance,” he declared as he brought his fingers to his lips, kissed them, and then held them up high. “Let’s discuss the proposal.”

I started choking on my water.

“What’s the matter, dear? Is something wrong?” Leave it to Marissa.

I coughed and patted my chest before reaching for my napkin to cover my mouth. After a moment or two, tears flooding my vision, I waved Charles on. “I’m fine,” cough, cough. “Don’t”—cough—“mind me.”

“Try taking another sip of wine,” Charles insisted. “It always helps me,” he added with a smile.

I reached for my glass and took another sip, feeling the burn go down my throat, numbing the tickle. It didn’t burn as much this time around.

“Attagirl,” Charles said, raising his own glass. “Now, Wes, you will propose at the gala.”

Wes’s knife screeched suddenly against the china, frozen mid cut. Eyes on the plate in front of him, he said, “I was thinking of something more private—”

My heart stammered as I blew back the wine in my mouth into my glass mid drink. My eyes watered as I tried to cough again as quietly as I could into my elbow. Privately? He wanted to propose privately? Privately how? When? I started feeling flushed.

Charles eyed me like I was an odd duck, but turned his attention back to his son. “Nonsense. You’ll propose at the gala. I’ll make an announcement to clear the dance floor and you will propose to Mara there.”

Wes shifted in his seat. “But—”

Charles kept talking as though he didn’t even notice his son. “I’ve already selected the ring. Your grandmother had a beautiful, yellow gold wedding band with this giant diamond. You would like that, now wouldn’t you, Mara?”

Was he actually asking me? Do I tell him the truth? “Um…well, I…”

“Come now, dear,” Marissa started on, “we’re all family here.”

I wasn’t sure what to do. The truth was, I didn’t like yellow gold. I never thought it looked good on me. And the few times I would even allow myself to imagine getting matched back in Telvia, I always imagined something simple. I had small hands…anything big or ornate would look awful on me.

“Of course, she’ll like it! Every woman wants giant stones set in gold,” Charles declared.

Swallowing, I reached for my wineglass and took another giant gulp. Interestingly, the numbing sensation was growing, and warmth was tickling up my spine and down my limbs.

“Dad,” Wes interjected again, the word sounding hollow and forced.

Once again, Charles didn’t even notice. “I’ve written you a script, Wes. I expect you to have it memorized. It would destroy the mood if you had to read it off a piece of paper.”

“Dad,” Wes repeated more firmly, volume increasing as his knuckles bleached white around his fork.

“The people are going to love it,” Charles rambled on. “It’ll fill them all with hope, and it’ll be a distraction from all of this awful war business—”

“Dad!” That got his attention. Charles snapped his mouth closed and faced his son. Wes stared at him head on. “Last time I checked, I’m the one getting engaged. So I’m going to do it my way—”

“You can shut your mouth right there, boy.” And suddenly, the whole scene went Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I saw a side of Charles Calvernon I had never seen before. His face grew cold, brows pinched, and lips set in a nasty scowl.

Wes rolled his shoulders back. “I’m not going to—”

Charles slammed his hand on the table, causing all the glasses to rattle and making me jump, spilling wine on my jeans. “You’ll do exactly as I say. I’m not stupid, Wes. Don’t try to con me into thinking that either of you have any feelings for each other.” He pointed at us both, and I felt my insides grow cold, freezing me in place. “You’re going to propose to her at the gala, and you’re going to read the speech I give you. You’re going to use your grandmother’s ring, and you’re both going to smile and wave at the crowd like a happy couple.” He smiled then, a frightening sneer that left me recalling dark memories of blood and solitude.

Wes glared back at his father, brows forming a deep V as his lips pressed together. “You don’t know anything about me or—”

Charles slammed the table again, cutting Wes off. And then he slammed it again with more force, causing the entire table to shift. “I’ve had enough of your defiance, boy. When your brother died because of her, I questioned God for punishing me, for taking my pride and leaving me with you. But I didn’t get a say in the matter—”

“Charles,” Marissa whisper-yelled at him.

But it didn’t stop him. He only spoke louder, overriding his wife. “I didn’t get to choose which one of you died and which one of you lived, or else this story would have gone a little differently. Fine. God wants to leave me with you, then so be it. But I won’t stand for any more of your insolence, boy. You’re going to defy me and lead this fucking operation to rescue the Telvian, then fine. But so help me, you will follow orders or live to regret it.”

My heart pounded. Fear gripped my core. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t believe that this was Wes’s real life. That his father was so open and blatant about his preference for Chase. But I guess if anyone could understand Wes’s situation, it would be me. Suddenly, I felt like I was back in Telvia, back at the dinner table of my own home, with my parents openly discussing what a disgrace I was. And all I could do to keep from crawling under the table was chug the rest of my wine.

“And you,” Charles continued, turning his attention to me. I bit down on my bottom lip as he opened fire. “You will accept his proposal, and you will honor this family. Marissa told me about that boy that went into your room.”

I caught movement on the other side of the table, and I peeked at Wes out of the corner of my eye, catching him staring at me. And the look I saw there made me feel rotten inside, because I swore I saw hurt in his eyes.

Charles continued, “You will honor the Calvernon name and conduct yourself in the manner that a happy bride does. And if you should survive that train wreck of a mission, you will marry my son, and I will have my portion of Telvia. Do you understand?”

I couldn’t move. I was frozen. And suddenly, I was feeling sick to my stomach. “I…” I wanted to tell him to go eff off. But every part of me was glued to the chair, afraid that I would give myself away. That any word—any shift—would reveal my secret. That I had no intention of following through with any of it. “I—”

“Stupid girl.”

“Hey!” Wes snapped, his tone thick with hate as he stood up from the table. “We’ve got it, okay? And since you’ve made it all so clear and laid everything out for us, we should start rehearsing all our lines for this fucking show you’re putting on.”

“Now you listen here, boy—”

“No, Dad,” he interjected, his words dripping acid. “You listen.” Wes walked around the table towards me. “I get you wish I was dead, that Chase was still alive. Sorry. Too. Fucking. Bad. You got me instead. So I’ll follow your fucking orders, but she doesn’t deserve to deal with your shit. That’s between you and me. So leave her out of it! You got that?”

Wes was at my side, grabbing my arm, and encouraging me to stand. I wasn’t going to fight him on this one. I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, but the room was starting to spin, and it only felt worse as I stood. Somehow, I maintained my balance.

“Let’s go, Mara,” Wes coaxed.

Charles glared at Wes, and for once, Marissa’s smug smile was gone and in its place was sorrow. At that moment, I realized Marissa cared for Wes, that she didn’t approve of any of this. And I felt bad for her. She was trapped in a war between her spouse and her son, and that was a terrible place to be.

Wes tugged on my arm gently, and I followed. But just as I took a step, the world spun harder on me, causing me to grip Wes’s arm.

Charles stood. “You will sit down at this table—”

“Turns out,” Wes shot back, “we’re not hungry.” He looped an arm around my waist and ushered me out of the room. Just as I heard the satisfying click of the door latching closed, I felt the world spin, and the floor was pulled out from underneath me.

36: Stay

“Easy now.” Wes tightened his grip as I swayed backward, about to fall. I wasn’t really sure what was happening, but all I knew was that I felt awful.

I closed my eyes, my fingers clenching onto Wes’s shirt for dear life. “Something’s wrong. Everything’s spinning.” Somehow, closing my eyes felt worse. What the hell was wrong with me?

“You’re fine. You’re just drunk.”

Drunk? I opened my eyes again and tried to take steps forward, only to feel my knees wobble. “I don’t know what that is.”

Wes smiled softly. “It means you’re a lightweight.”

“A what?” I tried to take another step and realized it was a bad idea. The world tipped sideways as I pitched forward.

“Whoa!” Wes wrapped his arm around my waist from behind, bringing my back up against his chest and keeping me from nose-diving into the red carpet.

My stomach churned. I brought my hands to my mouth and pushed firmly on my lips. I felt like I was about to throw up. “I feel sick,” I mumbled through my hands.

“Well, just make sure you hurl on the carpet. My dad will love that.” Even though I couldn’t see his face, I could hear the humor in his voice. Pissing his father off was clearly one of Wes’s favorite pastimes.

“Ugh,” I moaned. “I’ll keep that in mind.” I hated the way my stomach felt, the way acid bubbled up my throat. “I’ve got to lie down.”

“Yeah, I got you,” he agreed. And before I knew what was happening, Wes swooped me up into his arms, my head coming to rest against his shoulder as he carried me.

I groaned. “You don’t have to—”

“It’s fine, Mara. Just don’t throw up on me.” The humor lingered in his voice, but the thought of vomiting all over Wes caused a wave of embarrassment that did not play nice with my stomach. That was the last thing I wanted—to puke purple acid all over the guy who was trying to help me back to my room. God, if this is what happened to people when they drank alcohol, people were freaking dumb. Who the hell would do this to themselves on purpose? I closed my eyes again, trying my best to take deep steadying breaths, begging the darkness to stop spinning. I mean, how was that even possible? How could things be twirling around when there was nothing to see in the first place?

After a few bumps—and to my dismay, a few close calls—Wes shouldered the door to my room. It swung open on silent hinges as he took several steps to the bed and laid me down. Feeling the soft mattress and plush comforter supporting my weight felt so good, but it did little to make the world stop spinning.

“How do you feel?”

“Like crap,” I groused as I peeked my eyes open. He chuckled at my misery. “It’s not funny.”

“It’s hilarious.”

“I think your mom was trying to poison me.”

“Probably.”

“What?” I shot up, instantly regretting it, and threw my hands up to cover my eyes as I flopped back on the bed.

This time, he laughed. “I’m kidding. My mom didn’t poison you. It’s not her style.”

I peeked out from under my hands, arching a brow. “Meaning?”

He gave me that smirk of his, that crooked grin that left me feeling all mixed up inside. “Meaning nothing. I’m just messing with you.” He took several steps away from the bed. “Let me get you some water.” He disappeared into the bathroom, and after a few minutes, came back with a glass of water while cupping his other hand.

Slowly sitting up, I took the glass from him. “What’s this?” I asked as he dropped two little blue pills in my palm.

“It’ll help you feel better tonight. You’re going to feel like shit in the morning, but it’ll help for now.”

Taking his word for it, I slung the two pills back and gulped water like my life depended on it, down to the last drop. Just as I was about to put the glass on the nightstand, Wes took it from me, walked to the bathroom, and returned with another full glass.

“Another one?”

He nodded. “But sip this one slowly. It’s better if you wait until the dizziness stops before you go to sleep. So, you might as well hydrate.” I sighed, taking the glass from him, and watched as he began stepping back toward the door. “Feel better,” he said unceremoniously.

“Wait.” I stretched my hand out toward him. “Don’t you think we should talk about what happened?”

Wes sighed as he tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

I cocked a brow at him. “I might be drunk, or whatever the hell this is, but I’m not blind. What the hell was that?”

Wes rolled his head on his neck, lazily turning to face me. “It’s called ‘family drama.’ We’ve all got some, even here in the North.” He oozed nonchalance, but I wasn’t stupid. What happened at dinner definitely bothered him…more than he wanted me to know. He was pushing me out, shielding himself.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“That,” I said hotly, throwing my hands up at him. The world spun again, and I quickly flattened my palms against the bed on either side of me, trying to stop the spinning. “You do this macho crap and act like a jerk. Don’t do that.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he deflected.

“Baloney. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Whatever. I’m going to my room.” He gave me his back and walked toward the door. “Go to bed, Mara. See you tomorrow.” It was an order, and that tone made me bristle.

Oh no you don’t!

I was so done with Wes always deflecting everything, hiding everything inside himself. I wasn’t stupid, and I knew him way better than he would ever care to know. And while I had no intentions of marrying him, I still considered him my friend. Spinning room or not, I swung my legs off the bed, marched over, and grabbed his arm. The action caused my whole body to tip sideways as my room twirled, but Wes’s steadying hands shot out and seized me by the hips.

“What the hell, Mara?”

I looked up at him, ready to tell him off, and then…I was hot.

Boiling.

Burning up.

On fire.

The urge to strip my clothes off to cool down seemed all too easy, made too much sense. My lashes fluttered as I tried to refocus on Wes. On how he was always shoving me out. On how he was always hiding from me. On how his life sucked, maybe just as bad as mine did.

“No, not me, you.” Did I just slur?

“What?”

“Stop hiding. Stop pretending like what happens with your dad is okay, because it’s not.” I wobbled, clutching his arms tighter, loving the sensation of his skin under my hands. “It’s not okay your dad says those things to you or treats you badly.” I pitched sideways, Wes’s grip tightening around my waist, scorching my flesh.

Too hot. I was feeling too hot. I wiped my brow, eyes flickering over his chiseled features. Two beautiful lips, parted. I wondered what they felt like? I lifted my fingers, curious to touch. I wonder how they tasted—

“You should lay back down—”

A tremor shook through me as I shifted my gaze back to him. “Don’t try to change the subject.” What was I arguing with him about again?

Games. Hot, cold, hot, cold.

“I’m tired of the stupid games. I don’t want games anymore. What’s going on between us?” Wait, did I want to say that out loud? “And, god, why the hell is it so freaking hot in here?” I started pulling on my shirt, yanking the collar, lifting the hem as the wine bubbled in my veins.

“Stop it, Mara.” Wes’s hand snapped out, grabbing my wrist.

It was too hot. “How are you not boiling under all that smooth skin and tight muscle?” I tugged on my shirt again, feeling Wes’s hold tighten further. “Let go of me. It’s too freaking hot in here.”

“You need to go back to bed, Mara. Please, just go to bed.”

“Erg! I’m not an invalid!” I shot back, slapping at the hands that sought to control me. “I said stop!” Wes let go, and I stumbled backwards. “Your life sucks, doesn’t it?” I was loud. Did I mean to yell? Yes? No? “Tell me the real story.”

“Tell you what, Mara?” he yelled back at me, catching me by surprise. “Tell you that my dad hates me? That Chase was the only one he ever cared about? Huh? Is that what you want to hear? Or do you want me to tell you he beats my mom and that the perfect royal family he paints us to be is nothing but the most scripted bullshit that has ever been?”

I froze, my heart seizing in my chest as Wes exploded in what I could only imagine was years’ worth of heartache and suffering pouring out of him.

“Is that it? Is that what you want me to tell you?”

“I—”

“No,” he interjected, “I’m not done yet. You wanted to know everything, well now you’ve got it. My brother was a good guy, but he idolized my father, and he would have done anything for his approval.” Wes stepped back from me, running his fingers through his hair, causing the strands to loosen from the ponytail he always wore nowadays. “Nothing matters to my dad. All that matters is power. Power and more power, and it doesn’t matter to him how he gets it as long as he has it. It doesn’t matter to him what happens to the people around him as long as it’s a strong political move.”

I tried to breathe, my lungs aching for oxygen. But I was frozen, the world spinning faster with each new revelation.

Wes paced, the chaotic energy within him making his movements discordant and fast. “Want to know why he hates me so much? Huh? Why I’m the black sheep? Because I refuse to kiss his ass. Because I push back every time. But every time I step out of line, he hurts my mom more, hits her harder. So now I have to be careful. I have to pick which battles I fight because she doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t deserve to suffer because I don’t want to be his fucking pawn.”

Oh shit. I was at a loss. What do you say to something like this? Wes was…he was trapped.

“I’m sorry—”

He waved me off. “Whatever,” he said as he turned away from me, taking another step toward the door.

“Wait!” I reached for him again, grabbing his arm, and pulling back. Dizziness returned, but not as bad, and I was able to steady myself this time.

He sighed heavily. “Come on, Mara. Enough—”

I clutched both his arms in my hands, feeling the tension in his muscles once again. “I’m sorry. I’m not sorry that I pushed you to tell me, but I am sorry that this is what you’re dealing with. And I—” I hesitated. I knew he knew some of my life, some of my experiences. But I also knew there was much he didn’t know. “I understand,” I finally said. “More than you could ever know.”

He looked at me then, our eyes locking, the heat building up within me once more. And I felt…I felt sorrow. I felt so much sorrow for him. Because I truly understood what it was like to live his life, to feel like no one loved you. To walk your days feeling like you were worthless. And no one deserved to live their lives like that. Nobody.

I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what came over me, or why a sudden boldness swept through me, causing me to behave in a way I knew another version of myself would have been mortified by. I don’t know why…

But when I stepped backwards, I didn’t let go of his arms. I pulled him to follow me, and it felt right. And when I led him back to my bed, continuing to pull him along as I climbed onto the mattress, I wasn’t afraid. And when he sat on the bed next to me, his eyes never leaving mine, I felt the strangest sense of calm and reassurance.

Something came over me, and without a single second of hesitation, I straddled him, feeling the heat radiating off him. And I relished the way his entire body shifted underneath me, wavering, trembling, shuddering. My hands traveled up his shoulders and around his neck. One hand found the small band holding back his hair. Looping my finger through it, I tugged, slipping it off his soft locks and watched as his hair fell loosely. My fingers drifted through the strands, feeling them glide through my fingertips.

“You wear your hair so much longer now,” the words slipped from my lips. And I was close to him, sitting so that my face was only a few inches away from his. And I liked it. I wanted this closeness. It felt good, intoxicating.

Wes opened his mouth, hesitating, before saying, “My dad hates it.”

I smiled at his silent act of defiance. And in that moment, after watching his dad go psycho at dinner and learning what an ass he truly was, I found his long hair sexy as hell. I ran my hands through it, feeling Wes’s body tense underneath me as I reveled in the way the soft strands flowed between my fingers.

“Then I definitely like it better this way,” I whispered. I didn’t mean to say it aloud, but I also didn’t care. Fire was catching inside me, simmering low but spreading like the light of the morning sun. I leaned into him further. Wine was so good, so forgiving. Wine made you not care, and I definitely didn’t care.

“Mara,” Wes whispered before swallowing hard. “This isn’t… I should go.” He shifted, hands gentle on my hips as he tried to move me off of him.

“Wait.” My hand snapped out, gripping his shirt just below the collar. He froze. My heart thundered in my chest. Anticipation crawled up my spine. Why? Why did the thought of him leaving scare me so much?

My lips parted, the words hanging in the air, but I was confused. There was so much going on inside of me, so many feelings that I wasn’t sure what was real or just the wine. And when he moved underneath me, words I didn’t realize I was going to say tumbled out from my soul. “Stay with me?”

Wes stiffened, and all I felt as my palm slid over his chest was the rapid beating of his heart. “Are…are you sure?”

I don’t know what happened. Maybe it was the way he tipped his head down and asked me with vulnerable eyes. Maybe it was the hint of hope in his voice, encased in a dare for me to accept him. Hell, maybe it was the wine talking. But at that moment, I wanted nothing else. And I didn’t care if he knew it.

“Yes.” The moment the word escaped my lips, my pulse raced. And I waited. I watched as his eyes flickered, hesitation etched along the lines of face. And as if to seal the deal, one more word fell from my loose tongue, “Please.”

Wes shuddered. The tension slipped from his shoulders. The hard lines fell away, and a sweet, simple softness crept in. I loosened my grip on his shirt and allowed my other hand to travel along his chest, feeling the firmness of his pectoral muscles. I slipped off him, took his hand, and pulled him back further onto the bed. And with gentle pressure, eased him back onto the mattress, his head on my pillow. I crawled in beside him, molding myself to his form, placing my cheek on his chest.

And it felt right.

We laid there in silence for several minutes, the world spinning around us as I tried to understand what was happening inside of me. Then a thought crept into my consciousness…something Edith had said to me. I closed my eyes, feeling the rise and fall of Wes’s chest. “What’s your favorite color?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, and all I heard was the breath flowing through his lungs until he finally said, “Green. Why?”

“No reason. I just thought maybe it was something I should know.” Sleep was calling to me, my entire body feeling heavier against him.

Silence stretched for another minute, and then I heard the deep timbre of his voice whisper, “What’s yours?”

The question drifted through the consciousness I was barely hanging onto, and the words fell from my lips without hesitation, completely unchecked, as dreams sung my name. “Gold,” I muttered, “like your eyes.”

Wes’s body stiffened. I heard his heart beat harder and faster, giving away his secrets. It whispered to me. Whispered that I surprised him, just as I had surprised myself. I listened quietly as his heart settled, the tension easing in his body, softening under me. His breath slowed, coming in deeper, fuller.

I listened…and I liked it.

And that left a little knot of worry deep within me.

37: Climb

Iopened my eyes. As soon as the light hit them, I slammed them closed, and a throb in my head came alive like a wicked beast.

What the hell happened last night?

Blowing out my breath, I attempted to open my eyes once more. Just a crack, testing the light, and groaned, hating how my head felt. I was still wearing my jeans, curled up on my left side. I shifted, trying to sit up.

Well, I spilled something on my clothes last night. I ran a finger over the dry blotch of red on my pant leg, remembering burgundy liquid sloshing out of my glass and onto my pants.

Dinner.

Ugh…and not just any dinner, but the dinner from hell. I closed my eyes tightly, shaking my head to try and clear the fog, which only made my head worse. I covered my face with my hands. God, I felt gross. I had forgotten about Charles Calvernon losing his shit, and then Wes arguing with him. That was such a nightmare. I actually wished it was because as I remembered the dinner fight, I remembered Wes too. I remembered his angered confessions, his hurt, his brokenness. And I remembered the desire to take him in my arms, to tell him everything would be okay, to—

Oh my god.

Mortal dread filled me. I remembered pulling Wes into my bed, my hands on his chest and in his hair. And I remembered lying beside him, my body snug against his as my head rested over his beating heart. The memories filled me with heat, flushing my cheeks and causing my heart to gallop like a wild horse.

Was he…was he still here?

Slowly, I turned my head to the right side of my bed, afraid of what I would find…

It was empty.

Wait a minute…did I imagine it? I sat up. Did none of it happen? I rubbed my eyes and then ran my fingers through my hair. I thought it was real, but then again, maybe I was dreaming. But if I dreamed up that entire scene, what did that mean? Did that mean that I—

I couldn’t finish that thought. No way. I didn’t have time to play games like this. We were two and a half weeks away from the rescue mission, and I still had to deal with the gala before then.

The gala.

I moaned as I remembered that the stupid gala was next week. And, not only was it next week, but that was the argument Charles and Wes had last night. Wes was supposed to propose to me in front of all of these people at the gala.

“Shit,” I grumbled, covering my face with my hands. A part of me thought I could avoid all of it. That none of this would happen before I had the chance to escape. But I was running out of luck—not that I ever had much of it to begin with—and now I was going to have to get engaged in front of a live studio audience. I shivered. The last thing I wanted was to be proposed to in front of a bunch of randos. It was bad enough that the whole thing was orchestrated, but doing it all publicly just made it so much worse.

The sudden incessant beeping of my alarm startled me. I glared at the clock and smacked it, quieting the device. God, my head was splitting. Training started today. We had to be back at the base in two hours. That didn’t leave me much time, and I felt awful. I crawled off my bed and trudged to the bathroom, looking for pain killers. After throwing two pills back, I took a shower, praying that once the drugs kicked in, I’d be ready to face the nightmare that was going to be today.

***

“Again!” the drill sergeant yelled, blowing his stupid whistle. I hated that whistle. Every time he blew that freaking whistle, my head felt like it was going to cave in.

All six of us were there—Edith, Matias, Calista, Jim, Wes, and me. I focused on my breathing as the burn of another round of thirty push-ups had my muscles aching. I shot a quick look at Wes as I brought my body down toward the ground and then slowly back up in quick, controlled movements, sweat dripping down the side of my face. I thought we would have ridden down to the base together, but when I asked the estate staff, they said he had already left an hour before me. And that left me with so many questions.

Did he stay with me last night, or did I imagine it? And if he did, when did he leave? Was it just until I fell asleep or did he stay the whole night in my room? For some reason, it made a difference to me. It made a difference if he just humored me until I passed out or if he chose to stay with me the entire night. But I was too nervous to ask him. Because if I had imagined the whole thing, how big of an idiot was I going to look? BIG. Uh, no thank you.

A part of me was convinced if I could just catch his attention for one minute, all would be revealed. But, as I quickly discovered, once I got to the base, he was avoiding me like the plague. And Blondie, much to my chagrin, was stuck to his side like gum on a shoe.

The whistle blew again. “Nice job, folks. Everyone up.” The sergeant watched us, arms behind his back. “Now listen up. Your mission will require a 250 foot climb up the side of a sheer cliff. At the bottom of those cliffs lies the ocean. But don’t think the water will save your ass if you fall, because lining the coast are jagged rocks that will kill you on impact. And if you somehow miss those rocks, the sheer force of impact could knock you unconscious, and then you’d drown.” The man paced, walking the line that was our team. “You’ll be approaching from the water. The boat will bring you just off the coast. From there, you’ll take a dinghy to an alcove where the sea is calmer. And there, you’ll begin your climb.”

My heart skipped a beat at the thought of climbing hundreds of feet above unrelenting water. I couldn’t swim. And the thought of plummeting off those cliffs into the ocean sent a shiver down my spine.

The sergeant gave us a stern look. “Today, we’re going to work on climbing the wall.” He motioned behind him at a massive structure, easily several stories high. “At the top, there’s a bell. You’re going to climb until one of you can reach the top and ring it. But if you or any of your teammates fall, you all run laps and do push-ups. Then you’ll try again. Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” we all chimed in unison.

“Good. Today, I’m going to make sure you all go crying home to your mommies. You’re going to work your body until you can’t so much as lift a fucking napkin at your dinner tonight, and you’re going to do it all with a smile on your face. Let’s do this!” He blew his freaking whistle.

We all moved toward the massive rock-climbing wall in front of us. And we climbed. Oh boy, did we climb. And we fell. We fell, we slipped, we grasped on for dear life, only to fall again. And each time we fell, the effing whistle would blow, and that meant we all had to run a lap and complete fifty more push-ups before going back to the wall. And let me just say, I wasn’t in bad shape at all…not like I was when I first arrived at the Dissenter camp. I had trained the entire summer. I could run with the best of them, shoot a gun at a moving target, and had developed a nasty right hook. But none of it prepared me for a vertical climb like this one. And as if the wall wasn’t bad enough, the bastards upped the challenge by loosening some of the climbing holds. So when you went to grab them, they would spin on you, or they would fall off completely. You couldn’t trust any of them to hold your weight for long. So, we climbed. And then we fell. And then we ran and did push-ups until I thought I was going to vomit stomach acid all over the damn floor. And then we climbed some more.

Hell games was right.

By the end of the day, my legs barely supported my body. They wobbled and shook with every step, threatening to buckle underneath me. And my arms…I could barely lift them. Everything ached. Everything burned. Everything felt like it was about to shudder and crumble. It was awful. I panted, and I watched as everyone else did, too. Everyone looked just as terrible and out of breath as I did. I even caught Calista listing sideways for a moment before regaining her balance.

“All right, folks,” the sergeant spoke. “That was pathetic. Not one of you rang that fucking bell. So here’s what’s going to happen. None of you get to go home.”

“What?” Jim barked out.

“You heard me, Harper. Ladies, you’re going to Bunkhouse G, and men, you’re in Bunkhouse H. Enjoy your night, folks.” And without another word, he walked away from us, leaving us all standing with jittery legs and shocked expressions. At least he didn’t blow the stupid whistle.

“Great,” Blondie sneered. “It’s bad enough having to watch the Telvian’s ass all day, but now I’m stuck sleeping with her—”

“Don’t spread your toxic crap over here, Calista,” Edith said. “Last time I checked, you didn’t ring the freaking bell, either.”

Calista glared back.

“Hey,” Matias jumped in. “Will you guys knock it off? We all sucked ass today, so can it. We’ve got another long day tomorrow.” He gave Blondie and Edith a sharp look until his gaze swept over to me, catching my eyes. And then he held them, the lines of his soft face hard until he blinked and turned away, walking toward his assigned bunkhouse. Jim shrugged and followed Matias.

“Whatever,” Calista griped, throwing her hands up as she walked away too.

“Oh, that bitch is going to claim the bottom bunk. I just know it,” Edith said through gritted teeth. “Let’s go, Mara. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let her get the first pick of the beds.” She latched onto my arm and started pulling me after Calista. I followed, but not before I glimpsed at Wes.

And he was staring right at me.

38: Cat Fight

It was five days of hell. Five days of climbing a wall with a bell that I was sure was impossible to actually reach. Five days of running through obstacles, of running miles, of doing more push-ups, burpees, pull-ups, crunches, and weight training than I had ever done in my entire life. Five days of firing weapons, tossing grenades, throwing knives, and disarming codes. Five days of sparring each other—wrestling, boxing, jiu-jitsu, karate. You name it, we did it.

Five days of little sleep, crappy food, and feeling so exhausted that even the thought of talking sounded like too much work. And after five days, when we still didn’t reach that bell, the laps got longer. Bricks were placed on our backs as we completed our push-ups. Chains were looped around our dumbbells as we performed squats and bench presses. A hand was tied behind our back when we sparred, giving us the use of only one arm to defend ourselves.

Edith was right…these were hell games.

But we fought on. As the weights got heavier, we pushed harder. As the laps got longer, we ran faster. And as more supports fell from the wall, we got better at hanging on by one arm, one hand supporting the entire weight of our body, grasping on for dear life. Our strength grew. Our stamina built. But we still couldn’t reach that freaking bell.

The intensity of our training required special recovery shakes that tasted awful, like bitter chalk and sawdust. And in the evenings, we all sat in barrels filled with ice water up to our necks, icing our sore muscles, bumps, and bruises. There were no breaks, no downtime, no moment to even consider talking to Wes, much less Matias. It was nothing but brutal work from dawn until dusk. Then we licked our wounds, and carried our spent bodies into our bunkhouses, desperate for the few hours of sleep we would get before starting all over again. Even Calista shut her freaking mouth after the second day of torture. The only reprieve I got was when I was pulled out for an hour to have a seamstress take my measurements. Apparently, a dress was being made for me for the gala—Charles’s design, of course. But the break was short-lived, and I had no energy to ask or even wonder what the dress was going to look like. I was back out into the training arena before I could formulate a sentence. Back into the hell games.

But we kept our heads down, kept focusing on the task at hand. We pushed ourselves to be stronger, faster, better. But that elusive bell remained silent, glistening in the light at the top of that godforsaken wall. And each day that went by was a day I felt more and more worried about our mission. If we couldn’t climb that wall, the mission would fail before it ever even started, and I could kiss the chance of ever seeing my brother alive again goodbye.

After another six days, we were at one week before go time, and my body just couldn’t do it anymore. Not just my body, but Edith was toast too, barely making it. She slammed into the ground as Calista flipped her onto the floor. “Shit,” she groused.

The sergeant blew his whistle. “Again, Le. Let’s go.”

Edith heaved as she tried to get up, struggled, and then collapsed. “I—I can’t.”

“Are you giving up, soldier? You give up and everyone takes another round of burpees.” Everybody groaned at that one.

Calista rolled her head over her shoulders and then stretched her arms, bouncing back and forth, ready to go again. “Let’s go, Le. I can do this all day.”

“You hear that, Le? You’re being called out,” the drill sergeant stated, crouching down by her on the floor.

My heart ached for her as she tried to lift herself up again, but her arms trembled. “I… I just—”

Calista cackled. “Poor girl can’t hack it. That’s why nobody picked you to go on this craptastic adventure. President De’vor knew you’d cave.”

“Hey!” I wasn’t sure what came over me, but I stepped forward. I had to admit, Calista was a total badass, but she was mean and nasty, and she loved kicking someone when they were already down. How Wes ever put up with her crap, I’d never know, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to put up with it anymore. Especially toward Edith. “I want a turn, Sergeant.”

He turned to face me and then eyed Edith one more time before speaking. “All right, de la Puente. You’re up. And listen here…you all have someplace to be tomorrow night. If de la Puente can put some money where her mouth is, I’ll give you the rest of the afternoon off.”

Everyone shifted, looking from me to Calista, and back to the sergeant.

“But if Haeflinger nails her ass, you’re all doing laps. And then your asses are coming back in here tomorrow, and you’re working until party time. That is, with the exception of Miss Haeflinger. Got that? Haeflinger wins and she goes free. De la Puente wins, and you all go free, except for her,” he added as he pointed at Blondie. And suddenly, the evil smirk dropped from her face as her eyes widened.

This was total BS. In what world was this fair? But I took a deep breath and gave one definitive nod. The sergeant nodded at me in return as he stood up and stepped off the mat. I stepped on, feeling the cushion give way slightly to the weight of my body as I walked to Edith and offered her a hand. She took it, the look of defeat and gratitude etched along all the lines of her face. As I pulled her up, she mouthed ‘thank you’ before stepping off the mat. I took another deep breath as I turned to face Calista, and the look she gave me would have put dear old Chelsea to shame. I stretched out both my arms and then my neck.

Slowly, I dropped into my fighting stance, body angled, knees bent, hands up and ready to block. Calista glared as she mirrored me, readying for the fight. My heart thumped, and the seconds ticked—one, two, three—and then the whistle blew. It was on.

I had been watching Calista fight for days. I had fought her myself. She always waited for the other person to make the first move. Naturally, that’s what I expected. And so my plan was to wait her out, let her take the first step. And it worked…kind of. What I didn’t expect was that the second the whistle blew, that freaking bitch would rush me. I mean, it was instant. She cried out and charged like the most pissed off bull I had ever seen, crouching low. She wrapped her arms around my waist and sent us both flying across the mat. I landed hard on my back, but I exhaled with a big kiai, letting all the air escape my lungs to keep the wind from being knocked out of me.

Instantly, she crawled up my body and tried to get her legs up around my waist to pin me down, but I whipped a leg around, over her head, and pushed down with my thighs, knocking her face to the ground. That was my chance. I scrambled to get the rest of my body out from under her and flipped onto my stomach, getting my legs underneath me. It was then that I felt her grab my ankle, looking to pull my legs out from under me.

I didn’t even think.

I spun around, leg outstretched in a high roundhouse kick, aiming to contact her face. Calista was fast, lifting her left arm in a successful block. She leaped, striking out her right leg in a snap kick that I jumped back from, just barely missing the impact.

“Go, Mara!” Edith cried, clapping her hands. “Get her!”

Calista rushed me again, coming in hot, her fist flying. But I blocked it. Of course, I didn’t see she was coming in for a one-two combo, and her opposite fist shot out from the left side, hitting my jaw, and sending my body spinning.

Holy mother!

That woman packed a punch! I whipped around, getting ready for the next blow, but I was too late. Calista sent her leg flying, hitting me on the right.

“Mara, watch out!”

I didn’t know who was yelling at me, but I didn’t have time to think. I staggered back, turning to face Calista as she came at me again. But this time, I was ready. I dodged her, flipping behind her and going straight into a jump kick, my foot making contact square in her back, throwing her forward. She staggered, but she didn’t lose her balance. Before I knew what was happening, she whipped around and lunged at me.

Right hook, left punch, jumping roundhouse kick, left hook—it all came in rapid succession. I blocked left, blocked right, kicked back, blocked again, right hook, jump back.

The velocity intensified, wearing me down, until suddenly, I made one fatal flaw. I took my eyes off her. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Edith wide-eyed, jumping, cheering me on, while Jim pumped his fist in the air, howling. I saw Matias, mouth agape, shouting god knows what. And then I saw Wes, arms crossed, stoic mask firmly in place, but his eyes were ablaze, shimmering like liquid gold. And suddenly, Blondie’s foot made contact with my solar plexus, throwing me back with such force, I became airborne. I landed—hard. And this time, the wind left my lungs, leaving me breathless and wheezing.

Move, move, move! My mind screamed at me as I gasped for air. I scrambled to get up, flipping onto my stomach once again, and lifted myself off the ground as fresh air finally found its way into my lungs.

But I was too slow.

Blondie’s hands dug into my hair, pulling back, threatening to rip every strand out of my skull.

“That’s not fair! That’s against the rules!” Someone shouted.

“The enemy doesn’t play by the rules. Let’s go, de la Puente! What do you do?” If my sergeant was trying to be encouraging, he sucked at it.

My hands flew to my scalp, trying to grasp at Calista’s wrists. But all she did was pull me back harder, yanking my head backward and throwing me off balance until my back collided into her chest. She wrapped her free arm around my front, and then quickly let go of my hair, wrapping her other arm around me too, pinning my arms down.

Shit, shit, shit!

I struggled, bending forward, trying to lift her feet off the ground, but she was too tall. She bent forward with me, molding her body to mine, pushing her body down, crushing me, trying to make me collapse under her weight. I tried to twist to the left to use her weight against her. She staggered, but she never loosened her grip. And suddenly, I felt her breath hot and slick in my ear.

She whispered, “Looks like you’re going to lose. Take a hint and go back to the shithole you came from, Telvian. And don’t worry,” she added, her voice sickly sweet and menacing, “I’ll keep Wes warm for you.”

I snapped. I don’t know what came over me, but with a deep yell, I yanked myself forward and then slammed my head backwards.

I felt it.

I felt as my skull made delicious contact with the soft tissue of her face. I heard the crunch as the sheer force collapsed her nose in. Her arms dropped, and she was off me. Without even thinking, acting on pure instinct, I whirled around and sent a spinning side kick right to her chin.

SMACK!

Calista’s head snapped backwards, and she went crashing to the ground on her back. I slipped back into my fighting stance right as the whistle blew.

39: Girl Problems

“That bitch broke my nose!” Calista glowered as she held a blood-soaked towel to her face.

“That Telvian kicked your ass,” the drill sergeant said. “Maybe next time you shouldn’t rely on cheap tricks.” She glared, but kept her mouth shut. “Go on, Haeflinger. Head to the Medical Bay and get your nose cleaned up.” To Blondie’s credit, she stood up tall, wiped the blood as it trickled down, and marched out of the training arena. The sergeant turned back to face me. “Nice work, de la Puente. You just earned yourself and the rest of your team a night off. I suggest you all use the time wisely.” And with that, he left us.

“That was rich!” Edith started, high-fiving me. “I would have paid good money to have recorded that girl fly through the air when you kicked her in the face.”

“Yeah,” I replied half-heartedly, the back of my head pounding from breaking Calista’s nose. I wasn’t sure how I felt about annihilating her the way I did. It just felt wrong.

“Nicely done, de la Puente,” Jim said, patting me on the back. “See you all tomorrow.”

I waved him off and then turned to find Matias right in front of me, causing me to leap back in surprise. He gave a weak laugh. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, you just startled me is all.”

“Can we talk?” He stepped closer and took one of my hands in his. “Please.” It was like a time machine. I wasn’t in a gym in the North anymore, but back in the forest. Back to stolen kisses and hands that wandered over peaks and valleys. And my heart ached. I ached for what we had, and for what we had lost.

I opened my mouth to tell him yes. To tell him I missed him, that I remembered what once was ours, but I hesitated. Something inside of me pulled on my heartstrings, told me that I would ruin everything, that Matias was the past and something else waited for me in my future. “I—”

“Sorry, bub.” Edith snaked in between us, grabbing our clasped hands, pulling them apart, and then snuggling her hand in mine. She turned and patted Matias on the cheek. “You know I love ya, buddy, but have you seen this girl’s face? She’s got less than twenty-four hours to get this mug cleaned up, and she has to help me buy my dress tomorrow. So, heart-felt confessions of dying love will have to wait.”

Matias flushed red as he looked away nervously, and I couldn’t blame him. I could feel the heat burning on my face too—or maybe it was swelling?—as I instinctively turned to look at Wes. But he looked busy examining his cuticles. No hint of any emotion whatsoever.

“Edith,” Matias protested.

“Nope, nope, nope,” she sang back, each word getting progressively higher as she tugged me toward the door of the arena. “I’m taking her for the night, Wessy-Boy,” she added over her shoulder. “I’ll bring her back home before party time!” She didn’t even wait for a response. With one hand, she pushed open the door while the other dragged me out. I looked back over my shoulder and felt my chest squeeze because all it took was one look to understand what my heart was trying to tell me.

They were both there.

Matias stood, feet shoulder width apart, blackish-brown tousled locks framing his deep chocolate brown eyes. And then there was Wes, standing just a foot behind him, his blond hair swept cleanly back into his low ponytail, eyes like freshly cut grass glistening in the golden rays of the sun. They both watched me as I walked away from them.

My past and my future.

And my heart yearned for them both.

***

After a long stay in the infirmary, I was given instructions to ice my face, take an assortment of pills, and was given a few injections, all with the promise that my bruising would be much lighter than normal—easily covered up with make-up—and that the swelling would be gone by morning. From there, Edith had me call a limo to pick us up and take us to a hotel in town. She was all too happy to announce that I was the First Daughter of Telvia on a diplomatic errand for the Dissenters, and that they should charge our room to President De’vor. When the concierge questioned her, the stink she put up—along with the limo bearing the Calvernon family crest—shut him up, and he assigned us a room.

I wondered what Sasha was going to think when she got the bill.

The room was nice enough. Edith was a glutton, ordering almost everything off the room service menu. And after pigging out, we washed up and got ready for bed.

“Ooo! I’m so excited!” she gushed, gripping her pillow. “I asked Jeremiah to be my escort for tomorrow.”

“Who’s that?”

“What? You don’t remember?” Edith looked at me like I had grown a third eye. “He’s the guy who was standing outside the medical tent when Chelsea got back.”

The memory of the gorgeous Black soldier standing outside the medical bay, refusing to let us in, fluttered through my mind. “That guy? He survived the attack?”

“Yeah, he did. And he’s got a sexy ass scar across his cheek to prove it,” she purred.

Jeez. Leave it to Edith. I smiled. “Are you guys dating now?”

“He doesn’t know it yet, but absolutely,” she declared confidently.

I laughed, and then winced as my whole body protested against the contractions of my abs. “Ow,” I moaned through the laughter. “Don’t make me laugh anymore. It hurts too much.”

Edith giggled. “You earned every one of those sore spots, baby. Damn! You kicked so much ass today. I just loved it!”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know if showing up the chick that’s supposed to keep me alive was such a great idea. She’ll probably help the REG just to get me out of the picture.”

“Nah,” Edith waved me off. “Calista’s a total evil B.I.T.C.H., but I doubt she’ll risk pissing Wes off and destroying her chances of getting back with him. They’ve kept this whole engagement thing under super wraps.”

“Well, the cat’s out of the bag tomorrow, so…”

Edith’s eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. “What! For real?”

I rubbed my face and moaned as I was reminded that touching my face was the worst idea ever. “Yeah. Charles wants Wes to propose at the gala. That’s the big announcement. Surprise,” I deadpanned.

Edith folded her legs, eyes still wide. “Oh, never mind what I said then. You might as well paint a giant bullseye on your back. Once Calista figures out she’s out of the game because he put a ring on it, she’s going to want you out.”

“Wait. Are you serious? You really think she’d…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence.

Edith raised her brows, biting her cheek. “I’d seriously hope not, but I told you that girl was bad news. And when she wants something, she will destroy anything that gets in her way.”

“She sounds like a psychopath.”

Edith shrugged her shoulders. “I’m no therapist, but the girl’s got major issues.”

I closed my eyes, moaning. “Why does this crap always happen to me? It’s like I’m a magnet for crazy people!”

“You said it, not me. I told you you needed therapy.”

I rolled my eyes at her. “You could at least try to be useful here.”

She chuckled. “Look, it’s gonna be fine. Calista’s going to be more focused on keeping her own ass alive. I definitely don’t think she’s going to protect you at all costs like she’s supposed to, but I highly doubt she’s going to focus on scheming some way of killing you. Besides, you’ve got the rest of us. Jim’s still there to watch your every move, and you know Matias, Wes, and I have your back. So I wouldn’t worry about it.”

Easy for her to say, but her point was still a valid one. I didn’t have the luxury of worrying about Blondie. The mission was bad enough. I just had to stay focused on that. “I guess you’re right.”

“Hey, totally changing the subject here, but what is the deal with you, Matias, and Wes?”

I groaned, rolling my eyes into the back of my head. “I don’t even know. I haven’t been able to talk to Matias at all. And things between Wes and I…” I halted. The memory of being drunk and curled up on my bed with him fluttered through my mind, sending my heart into an erratic beat. I wasn’t sure if I wanted Edith to know about that. Something about it seemed way too private for me to gossip about. Plus, I wasn’t entirely convinced the whole thing had happened either.

“Yeess…?” She leaned forward hungrily.

“It’s just…it’s just weird.”

“Weird how?” She was fishing.

“I don’t know how to explain it, but I just feel…” What? What did I feel? How do you explain something when you don’t even know what that something is?

Once upon a time, I feared Wes, but I was drawn to him because he looked like Chase. But then I saw him for him. For the unique man that he was, with all his flaws and all his strengths. And the more I saw of him, the more I understood the complexity of the person who stood before me. The deeper I dove into those layers, the more I realized Wes was a tortured hero, always fighting to do the right thing, making the hard choices, but never getting the credit. Hell, he didn’t even want the credit. He shrugged it off with his awful attitude and an air of indifference. But I knew better.

I knew that underneath that stoic mask was a tortured soul just needing to be loved. In many ways, Wes and I were the same. But he was afraid…afraid to love and be loved in return. That’s where we differed. I craved acceptance, craved knowing that I was worthy of being loved. I wanted it desperately. But Wes…it’s what he needed, but he was too afraid to accept it.

“Hello! Earth to Mara… Don’t leave a girl hanging now.”

I blinked. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to space out.”

“Yeah, no shit. And you left me hanging here waiting for you to profess your endless love for Wes.”

“What? No!” There was no way. There were a lot of confusing emotions in there, but love was not one of them.

Edith rolled her eyes with a groan. “God, you’re going to drive me crazy. I’m serious now…you need therapy. How is it you can never put this crap together yourself, huh? How can you not see what’s right in front of you?”

I waved her off. “Stop, Edith. It’s not like that.” Something niggled inside of me. The pit of my stomach swirled.

“Whatever, newbie. I can’t even deal with you right now. If you can’t figure out what’s going on in your own head, then that’s your problem—I don’t get paid nearly enough to help you untangle your rat’s nest of a brain.” With a tilt of her head, she narrowed her gaze at me. “It’s like you’re trying to be dense or something.”

“I am not—”

“Yes, you are!” she pushed back. “You’re totally trying to squelch out anything you feel for Wes, but I don’t understand why. You’re getting married, so why do you keep stamping out any emotions you have for him?”

“That’s not true.” I argued. But is it true? “Wes and I are just friends stuck in a marriage neither one of us wants—”

“That’s BS, Mara. That’s BS and you know it,” she snapped back at me. “When you told me about Sasha promising you to him, I believed it then. I believed you had some feelings for Wes, but that what you felt for Matias was stronger. But it’s all different now.”

“Nothing has changed.” Do I really believe that?

“Baloney! Everything has changed. Don’t think I didn’t see that exchange at the mission meeting. I was in the audience, Mara. I watched as you almost lost your shit in front of everyone. And you know what else I saw? I saw a guy who has kept everyone at arm’s length, who wears a fuck-you attitude like it’s his Sunday’s best, reveal his entire hand. The way he looked at you, the way his face changed into this total look of concern. The way he brought you close to him and whispered in your ear. It was all on full display, girl. And when you turned to face him—BAM! I saw it in you too. It all changed. I know I argued with you about getting promised, but once I saw that exchange, I changed my mind.”

Holy mother… Was that what it looked like to everyone? Was she right? I opened my mouth to say something, to push back, but Edith wasn’t finished.

“Now you tell me this, and you better be freaking honest. Why are you pushing him away? This is the guy you’re marrying, for god’s sake.” She paused, her next words coming out softer. “Why won’t you allow yourself to love him, Mara? What’s going on?”

I froze. Here I was, thinking I was doing a great job of keeping my schemes under wraps. But I was wrong. Somehow, I was leaving hints of my plans, and Edith was sniffing them out like a damn bloodhound. And I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her I was never going to marry Wes. That I was going to hightail it out of the North the second I had my brother back. But I couldn’t. I didn’t know what the aftermath of my leaving was going to be. The less she knew, the better…for her sake.

I took in a deep breath, slipped on my best poker face, and looked Edith square in the eyes. “There is nothing going on. Wes and I are friends. I know what you think you saw, but you’re wrong.”

Edith’s brows furrowed as she frowned. “Fine. Be that way.” She shuffled on the bed, getting under her covers. “I’m not stupid, Mara. You’re lying to me. But whatever. Don’t come whining to me when you realize you fucked everything up. You want to make your bed by yourself? Fine. But don’t expect me to help you clean up your mess when it all blows up in your face.” She leaned over, turned off the light, and we were thrown into darkness.

I sat there for a moment, shocked and hurt. Because I didn’t want to lie to Edith. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. But what choice did I have? Quietly, I slipped under my own covers and leaned back onto my pillow, staring up into the darkness.

Was I doing the right thing?

Everything was getting messed up and becoming more complicated than I had initially planned. As if that wasn’t enough, I was losing sight of why I was doing what I was doing. It was as if my reasons were slipping from my fingers, leaving me confused and lost. I blew out a breath as I turned on my side and closed my eyes. But no matter how hard I tried, the thoughts just kept coming. And all I thought about was Wes.

40: Say Yes to the Dress

Islept in late the next morning, and when I woke, I found myself alone. Edith was gone, and all she left was a simple note that read: Change in plans. See you at the gala. Apparently, our plans to shop together went out the window. She was definitely still pissed at me.

I showered, and a quick look in the mirror afterwards showed that the medication had worked wonders. My swelling was gone, and all that was left of my sparring match were some faded bruises and one tiny cut in the corner of my mouth that you could barely see. Not too shabby. After getting dressed, I sent a message for a car to pick me up, gathered my things, and checked out of the hotel.

Once we pulled up at the estate, I was bombarded by maids and a really pissed off First Lady. “Do you realize what time it is?” she snapped.

“Um,” I glanced at my tab as I climbed out of the car. “Just past one in the afternoon?”

“You’re late,” she admonished, eyes ablaze.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I really didn’t want to deal with Marissa already. It was bad enough that I had a fight with Edith. “The party isn’t for several hours.”

Marissa’s eyes were like daggers. “You have to rehearse.”

“Rehearse?” What the hell was she talking about?

“Good heavens, what happened to your face?” she snapped, eyes wide.

I snorted. “You should have seen it last night.”

Marissa scoffed, grabbing my wrist firmly and dragging me up the steps. “I can’t believe this. First, you’re late, and now I’ll need to cover up those bruises. What will people think if they see your face like this?”

“That I’m training?” This was stupid. Why was some bruising such a big deal?

“Have you learned nothing? It’s always about the optics, Mara. Optics. How things appear. If people see any part of you as broken, they’ll think you’re weak. That you’re less than them. And they will destroy you. And Calvernon women aren’t weak. Whatever may happen behind closed doors, we are anything but fragile lambs.”

“Wait a minute,” I halted, causing her to stop. “Are we talking about me? Or are we talking about you?”

Marissa whirled on me, eyes ablaze. “How dare you? Insinuating that—”

“Charles hits you?” I challenged. Marissa’s jaw dropped. “Well,” I pushed, “doesn’t he?”

Her eyes lost all their flames, dropping into a blank expression before she squared her shoulders. “Now you listen here. Whatever it is you think you know, that’s none of your concern. There’s a reputation we carry, and whether I like it or not, you are part of that equation. Our family secrets live and die in this house. And you will not shame me or my son. Do you understand?”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“It doesn’t matter what you meant,” she interjected. “Understand this concept well, for it will be your undoing if you can’t learn to master it. Power is all about appearances, Mara. I would expect a Telvian to understand that better than most. And there is always somebody dying to take your place. Remember that.”

“But I don’t—”

“Hush,” she snapped before grabbing my wrist again and pulling me the rest of the way up the stairs. “Charles is waiting for you in the parlor to rehearse your proposal, and then we need to try your dress on and make sure it fits.”

“We’re going to rehearse our proposal?” This was insane. Who does that? It was bad enough that it was scripted, but for real?

Letting go of my wrist, she threw the doors open to the house. “Just be quick and do as you’re told. You’ve had a taste of Charles’s temper, and that is the last thing I need before this party. Move,” she growled.

Yish! I picked up the pace and didn’t ask any more questions.

***

“Annunciate, boy. Project your voice and speak clearly,” Charles ordered as he walked around us. Wes was down on one knee, holding out the most hideous, gaudiest yellow gold ring with the most ridiculously enormous diamond I had ever seen. The thing might as well have been a boulder, and every time Wes slipped it on my finger, I felt like my arm was going to fall off. I didn’t know how anyone could actually wear the thing, but if this was his grandmother’s wedding ring the woman must have been a giant.

Wes stared off at the ground just past me, jaw clenched, eyes cold and emotionless. He cleared his throat and then spoke again loudly. “Mara de la Puente, First Daughter of Telvia, I ask for your hand, so that our love might unite our war-torn lands and bring peace to our factions…” The words left his lips, empty, lifeless, and hollow.

“How do you expect anyone to buy that horrible performance?” Charles stalked toward us, frustration emanating from him.

Wes glared up at his dad. I thought for sure he was going to give a snappy comeback, but he stayed silent. Only his eyes spoke a thousand words.

“Do it again,” Charles barked. “And for god’s sake, smile.”

Wes pressed his lips together firmly, eyes flickering, before he plastered the angriest smile I had ever seen and began again. “Mara de la Puente, First Daughter of Telvia, I ask for your—”

“Charles,” Marissa threw open the doors to the parlor. She looked amazing in a navy blue, chiffon dress that hugged her form until it flowed out around her knees and draped out behind her. White pearls decorated the lobes of her ears, and a delicate strand of pearls hung on her neck. Her hair draped about her shoulder in blonde ringlets, pinned up on one side behind her ear with a beautiful, pearled comb. She glided across the room, hands extended out in exasperation. “Our guests are arriving and none of you are ready. They need to get dressed,” she begged.

“I’ll say when this is over!” he yelled back at her. And I saw it then.

The subtle flinch.

The slight lean back of her body.

The subtle turn of her head, waiting for the blow her body was trained to receive.

But Charles controlled his temper, lifting his wrist to look at his tab. “Blast,” he muttered under his breath. He looked down at Wes, pointing a finger at him. “Don’t mess this up, boy.” Then he whirled to face me, finger still pointed. “And you—say ‘yes’ once he’s done asking. Both of you rise, face the crowd, and bow. You got that?” Charles looked from me to Wes, and then back to me, before marching past his wife out of the room.

Wes stood up, stretching his back. The poor guy had been made to kneel for the past three hours. I had no idea how he did it, how he just sat there like stone. I reached my hand out to him, but he shrugged it off. It hurt, but I tried not to take it personally. He had to be in pain, and I felt for him.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He wouldn’t look at me. “I’m fine.” But his words were hollow, and that worried me. I went to put my hand on him again when Marissa spoke.

“Both of you need to get dressed immediately.” She clapped her hands, trying to usher us to move. Before I knew what was happening, a flurry of men and women rushed into the room, pushing carts filled with make-up brushes, powders, and bottles. Another pushed a rack filled with glittering fabrics, while someone else pushed a rack with a variety of suits in different shades of black. Several others lifted a huge room divider across the floor, effectively creating a wall between Wes and me. Then the men disappeared on Wes’s side of the divider while the women surrounded me, and the torture began.

They yanked on my clothing, but I recoiled, backing myself up against the wall. Nothing stopped them. They followed, pulling on my shirt, tugging on my jeans. All I could do was be thankful that no one stood behind me while my body stood naked and then felt even more gratitude when a robe was draped over my frame. They shoved me into a chair. Someone grabbed my hands, while someone else started fussing over my feet. A comb ran through my hair, while another woman grabbed my chin, scrutinized my face, and then started dabbing creams and powders all over.

I was poked and prodded, hair pulled and twisted, face turned this way and that so much that I thought I was going to strain my neck. Never in my life was I fussed over this much. Not even in Telvia. I had been to galas before, sure. Had maids dress me and all, but never with this kind of fervor. I didn’t know how long the ridiculousness lasted, but it felt like an eternity had passed before they pushed me out of the chair. As their hands went for my robe, I quickly positioned myself to make sure no one stood behind me as they stripped the robe from my body.

Fresh undergarments were slipped up my legs, and before I could even get a look at the thing, the dress that was designed for me—by Charles, no less—was thrown over my head. The straps slid over my arms, settling just off my shoulders.

The maid in front of me finished tugging the dress onto my hips, making sure the skirt settled correctly in all the right places. Then she made a twirling motion with her finger, which I interpreted to mean I needed to turn around. And when I did, I found myself looking into a full-length mirror and forgot about everything. I gasped.

The dress was breathtaking. It was a gorgeous, midnight blue with a v-neckline. It was a little more revealing than I would have liked, but the fabric folded in such a way that it revealed very little. And that was a blessing. The dress hugged my midsection and then flared out from my waist into a full-length ball gown. And it glittered. It glittered like stars, with hints of gold and silver, making the fabric look like the sky at dawn. I had to hand it to Charles—the man might be a jerk, but he could design a dress like nobody’s business.

My hair was pulled up and off my shoulders into a collection of curls and delicate ringlet strands. Dainty strands of gold bearing tiny diamonds hung from my ears, while a similar gold strand with one teardrop diamond rested around my neck. I smiled at my reflection. Because, for once in my life, I truly felt beautiful, and I knew I could rival any fairytale princess.

“Let me zip it up,” the woman to my left said. She stepped around me as my excitement brewed. She made a sound…a strangled sort of hiccup, but I paid it no mind, too entranced by my own image. What would Wes think? Would he like it?

Finally, I felt the zipper climb and then…it stopped. It stopped at my lower back as someone else lifted the glittery gown to slip on my golden heels. And then it dawned on me.

Oh no! How could I forget?

I felt a flash of heat pump in my chest, a quick shot of adrenaline making me hot as the woman who was zipping up my dress stepped away from me. I caught her eye in the mirror. To her credit, she tried. She tried to hide the look of disgusted horror. The look of someone who had just been mortified and repulsed.

I swallowed hard then. How could I have been so stupid?

The woman shook her head, croaking out, “You’re ready.” Then she placed her hand over her mouth.

I rubbed my lips together, my heart pounding. Please, no. Please, please, please. Slowly, I turned around to glimpse the back of the dress, and my heart sank as dread pooled deep in my belly. Because when I turned to see the back, I realized there was none.

The dress was backless.

41: Disfigured Disgrace

Every single scar, from years of merciless lashings in the basement of the Presidential Palace, was on full display. My back was a landscape of ugly scarred tissue, discolored and disfigured. Any part of me that felt like a princess disappeared.

“I—” I struggled to speak, my throat dry as desert sand. “I can’t wear this.”

Marissa whipped around the corner, angry as a hornet. “What do you mean you can’t wear—” Her voice dropped as her eyes caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. Her lips parted as her eyes widened in shock.

I looked away from the mirror to face her, trying my best to choke down the tears that were threatening to come cascading down. “I can’t wear this,” I repeated.

Marissa took cautious steps forward, her eyes transfixed on the reflection in the mirror behind me. “What—how? Where—” She tripped over her words, unable to form coherent speech as the features of her face changed from shock, to confusion, to horror, and then to disgust.

I closed my eyes. How could I have forgotten about my scars? How could I have been so stupid to forget the remains of years of abuse? How? Slowly, I opened my eyes again, my vision blurring. And all I saw in return was the revulsion painted across Marissa’s face.

“Are you even a true de la Puente?” she sneered.

“What?”

Her eyes narrowed at me. “How could the First Daughter have scars like those? Who are you really?”

My lips parted, but I had no words for her. How do you explain that your parents hate you? That they beat you in the dark and leave you to starve? I took a deep breath. “I am Mara de la Puente.”

“Liar!” Marissa snapped back. “You and Sasha are trying to cheat the North.”

“No, I swear,“ I insisted.

“Mom!” I jumped at the sound of Wes’s voice. “Enough.” He wasn’t fully dressed yet, only wearing his black slacks while his white shirt hung open, unbuttoned, revealing the taut skin of his chest.

Marissa turned to face him. “This is an outrage. If she has no claim to the presidency, then this arrangement with Sasha is a farce. I will not—”

“Mrs. Calvernon?”

As if things couldn’t get any worse…they did. We all jumped at the sound of an unexpected voice. And when I looked to see who it was, mortal dread filled me. Because there, right in front of me, was Blondie.

Shit.

“Calista,” Marissa said. “What are you doing here? And what happened to you?”

Blondie was wearing a tight black dress that scooped way too low in the front and even lower in the back. Her blonde locks were a cascade of loose waves, while beautiful diamond earrings and a matching necklace completed her ensemble. She looked perfect, like a classic beauty. The only thing that ruined the image was the big white bandaging across the bridge of her nose, compliments of me, of course.

I saw the hint of blush color her cheeks as she replied flatly, “Training.” She tossed her hair back and lifted her chin. “President De’vor sent me to look for you. I heard your voice, and I came in. I didn’t know I was interrupting something.” Her voice sounded so light and innocent.

But I saw the moment her vision caught sight of me and the mirror behind me. Her lips parted—just an inch—and her eyes glimmered in silent victory. The corner of her lips tipped ever so slightly in a quick smirk that was gone in half a second, replaced with a look of mock concern. “Oh my goodness, Mara. Are you okay?”

Marissa jumped into action, reaching to the clothing rack and pulling out a dainty golden evening shawl. “Everything is fine, Miss Haeflinger,” Marissa said, the tension thick in her voice. Quick as a whip, she threw the shawl over my shoulders, covering my back. “Mara is perfectly fine,” she insisted as she walked away from me and back toward Calista. “You can tell President De’vor that I will be there momentarily. I’d very much like to speak with her as well,” she added as she gave me the side-eye.

My cheeks flushed with heat, embarrassment and shame filling me.

Marissa placed a hand on Calista’s back, guiding her out the door. “Of course, I would very much appreciate your discretion regarding anything you might have heard or seen, dear.”

Calista placed a hand on her chest. “Oh, of course. You know I would do anything for the North. Your secrets are safe with me,” she added with a smile.

“Thank you, dear.” And then she closed the door, shutting Blondie out.

“Mrs. Calvernon, please,” I started, “I-I can’t wear this. I have to find another dress—”

“There is no other dress!” Marissa almost screamed at me. “There is nothing else.”

I felt the tears flooding my eyes. “I can’t do this,” I muttered. “I can’t step out there with my back exposed for everyone to see—”

“Enough,” Marissa cut me off. “And stop your crying. You’ll ruin your make-up.” Marissa stepped up to me, face stern and cold. “You will step out there, and you will remain poised no matter what happens. You will wear this stupid wrap and keep it on all night. Do you understand?”

I nodded, clasping my hands to my chest, my stomach in knots.

“Good.” Marissa looked down at the floor, pensive. “We’ll discuss this later, but for now,” she turned to face Wes, “do not propose until I discuss this matter with your father and President De’vor.” She looked at me, emotions passing through. “I don’t know who you are, but I pray for your sake that you are who you claim to be, or I’m afraid you might find yourself in a most precarious position.”

Wes stood up straighter, his hands balling into fists.

Marissa narrowed her eyes at me, and then pointed at the four women who had dressed me, as well as the two men who had assisted Wes. “All of you are to remain quiet about what you have seen. Understood?” Everyone nodded, but I didn’t miss the frowns on their faces, or the way their eyes kept staring at me. Marissa gave me one last glare before opening the door to the parlor and leaving the room. The staff all tipped their chins to their chests and chased her out, closing the door behind them.

The room grew silent. I thought I actually heard air flowing over the thundering of my own heart.

“I’m sorry,” Wes whispered.

I inhaled deeply, shoving down the tears that so desperately wanted to fall, swallowing them, choking down my hurt. “It’s fine,” I said gruffly.

“Mara—”

“I said it’s fine.” I know my voice came out too sharp. It wasn’t his fault. But I was so embarrassed, so ashamed…and I still had to get through the night. I gripped the stupid wrap and fiddled with it to make sure my shoulders and entire back were covered. I was struggling to keep it together. All it would take was one pitiful look, one misplaced word, and the facade I was desperately trying to iron in place would crack and come tumbling down. How was I going to do this?

“Can I please say something?”

“I don’t want to hear it, Wes,” I snapped, turning to look at him, and then instantly felt awful. For once, I wasn’t greeted by a scowl or stoic mask. Wes looked…sad. The golden hue of his eyes was muted, allowing the green to shine through more than I had ever seen before. The corners of his lips were tipped into a mournful frown. I opened my mouth to apologize, but hesitated as he shifted, placing his hands in the pockets of his black slacks.

He looked away briefly before standing up straighter and setting his eyes on me once again. The sadness never left his gaze, but the right corner of his lips tilted upward into a shadow of his characteristic grin.

“No matter what they say,” he began, words soft and tender as he reached for his tuxedo jacket hanging on the rack, “you look beautiful to me. Always.”

My heart seized, and before I could utter a single syllable, Wes walked out of the parlor. I was left with a fresh wave of emotions I was barely beginning to understand and had no idea what to do with.

42: Those Hazel Eyes

Why did things always have to be so complicated? What does somebody do in a situation like this? Wes left me speechless, confused about what I felt for him and what he felt for me. But I was out of time. A gentleman arrived dressed in a tux and told me I was needed at the gala for my grand entrance.

Let the circus begin.

I knew the house had a ballroom, but I had never seen it before. The man escorted me through a set of double doors, and when I walked through, my eyes were greeted by a vast room lit by six enormous golden chandeliers, their crystals glittering in their own light. The room was two stories tall, and I was on the second floor, looking out from a balcony within the ballroom. One set of stairs led down to my right, and another set led down on my left. A live orchestra played below, music filling the air, and a huge dance floor sat in the middle. All around it were round tables decorated with tall, golden centerpieces with cascading ivies, pink peonies, white roses, and feathery fern fronds, giving the entire room a floral aroma. It was absolutely gorgeous. A sight straight from any fairytale.

And it came with its very own beast.

“There you are, Mara.” I recognized the voice the moment it grated my ears. Charles walked up the last step of the stairs, extending out a white gloved hand toward me. As much as I hated to admit it, Charles Calvernon was handsome and looked quite dapper. His black tux made his green eyes stand out, and everything about him was picture perfect—regal, royal, refined. A mirage masking the monster within.

“Mr. Calvernon,” I acknowledged, fear tickling within me. Had Marissa told him already?

Charles took my hand and lifted it to his lips as he bowed and then waved off my escort. While still holding my hand, Charles stepped backward to admire my appearance. “I must say that dress turned out better than I imagined.” With a small tug of my hand, Charles pulled me toward him and looped his arm around my waist, holding me close. “Too bad you don’t do it justice,” he chided quietly so only I could hear.

I winced, feeling the sting. “Mr. Calvernon, I can explain—”

“Oh, I intend to hear an explanation from President De’vor,” he stated, malice thick in his voice. He pushed away from me, twirling me out so I faced the audience below.

A voice boomed through the ballroom. “Introducing the First Daughter of Telvia, Miss Mara de la Puente, escorted by President of the North, Mr. Charles Calvernon.” Cheers rang from the people below, and then the music took over again.

Charles tugged on my hand, bringing my attention back to him. The impressive fake smile he wore, the calm and happy vibe he emitted…it was all a lie. He pulled me closer, draping my hand around the crook of his arm, and then started leading me down the stairs. “Tonight, Miss de la Puente, we dine, we drink, we dance. And tomorrow, we shall discover what is true and what is nothing more than the lies of a clever snake.” He smiled, waving to his guests as we reached the bottom of the steps, and then guided me out amongst the sea of elegant people on the dance floor.

“Mr. Calvernon,” I whispered to him, not wanting anyone to hear our conversation, “I am Raúl’s daughter, I can assure you.”

Charles shifted my arm, took my hand, and then twirled me around until I was in front of him. One hand held mine while the other swept onto my lower back, pressing me up against him as his lips came to my ear. “Let’s hope you can prove that, girl.” He moved, making me spin with him to the melodic music that didn’t match the fear gripping my soul. “Because if I discover that you or Sasha are trying to cheat the North, you can say goodbye to any chance of saving that man you claim to be your brother. And there will be consequences.” His threat caused my breath to quicken. “Until this business is resolved, until I know exactly who you are, consider any deal between the North and the Dissenters off.”

No! “But Mr. Calvernon—”

“Hush, girl,” he chided as he smiled and spun me out, my dress twirling about me, before drawing me close to him again. “I’ll have no more talk of this tonight. Just know that I’m watching, and I’ll be investigating this matter thoroughly before any son of mine marries a disfigured Telvian wretch,” he spat out. His words hit me like Calista’s jump kick to my solar plexus, making me gasp.

And I felt it. I felt the tears threatening to slip past my lids. I turned my face away from him, refusing to let him see how much his words cut me. I closed my eyes, taking in slow deep breaths to calm my racing heart, until I regained control, shoving my hurt and shame down deep, locking it away.

“I think I can take it from here.”

My eyes flew open as I turned to see Wes, relief crashing through my system. And he took my breath away…

Clean-shaven, angular features, hair neatly pulled back into a low ponytail, and eyes that simmered hot and bright—he would have made any girl swoon. But coupled with his dashing black tux that complemented the strength of his body, accentuating his long legs, torso, and broad shoulders, he was the most breathtaking sight I had ever seen. He was light and dark, safe and dangerous, the enchantment of an angel and the temptation of a devil—a living paradox that made me weak in the knees.

I felt as Charles tightened his grip around me, strangely possessive and alarming. Both Calvernon men locked eyes, faces going cold as glaciers, until Charles’s face lit up with a forced smile.

“Wes, my dear boy, of course.” Slowly Charles let go of my waist, but he held on to my right hand a bit too tightly, threatening to snap the delicate bones in my fingers as he stepped to one side. I held my breath, clenching my jaw to keep from crying out as he bowed and lifted my hand to his mouth once again. One simple kiss. A grazing of his lips on my flesh that felt more like acid rain as his green eyes stared me down until he finally released me.

I immediately stepped towards Wes, whose left hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to him. My curves flushed against his, and I felt the strength of his build as his whole body rippled and shifted against me. Just like his father, his hold was tight around me, but it was different. It wasn’t possessive, like I was a thing to be claimed, to be owned. It was protective, shielding.

Charles took a step toward us, and I felt as Wes’s grip tightened further. In one heartbeat, he moved, shifting his body so that it was angled between Charles and me. The President’s fake smile faltered, but only for a second. And then he leaned in, face-to-face with Wes. Charles whispered, tone menacing with its quiet threat. “Enjoy your party, boy. Dance the night away. But you will follow orders. And until I know exactly what she is, you do nothing.” Charles pulled back, smile slipping in place as he turned away from us, arms out as he started waving to people in the crowd. And then he was gone, engulfed in a sea of faces, glittering gowns, and handsome nobility.

A what. I wasn’t a person anymore, no one of value. Just a thing. A body, but not a person. And all because my stepmother stripped me of my dignity with the crack of her whip. I was less than. I didn’t matter.

I was nothing.

“Hey,” Wes whispered tenderly, standing in front of me. His fingers touched my chin, gently lifting my face to look into his hazel eyes. So much emotion. It was a sea of pain, embarrassment, hurt, anguish. “I’m sorry,” he uttered. Gentle…so gentle, so genuine. “Don’t listen to him.” I started to turn my face, feeling my cheeks flush with heat, but he held my chin. “Look at me, Mara.” The way he said my name, it made me want to collapse into him. I lifted my gaze once more, forever ensnared by his hazel eyes. “You’re so much more than—”

I shook my head, closing my eyes again as I placed my hand on his wrist. “Please,” I whispered, “please leave it alone.” I sniffed, trying to choke back the pain that threatened to make me cry. “I won’t make it through the night…please.” Wes held my chin for another second, and then he let me go. I drew my chin down to my chest. “Thank you,” the pained whisper escaped me.

Silence stretched, and I wanted to do nothing more than disappear into the night, run away and never return. Then Wes’s tender voice was in my ear. “Dance with me?” His hot breath cascaded down my neck, sending a wave of gooseflesh across my skin. My eyes flew open, looking up once more at his handsome face as he asked again. “Dance with me, Mara?”

My lips parted, but no sound escaped. All I could do was nod.

He smiled—the most beautiful smile—as he scooped my right hand in his, placing gentle pressure on the small of my back with the other, and led. He glided me across the dance floor, expertly guiding me until he drew me closer and rested his cheek against mine. His breath fluttered the delicate hairs around my ear.

“I know I said it already, but you look beautiful.”

Despite the pain nestled deep within me, I smiled at his words. Tipping my head back so that my lips came to his ear, I replied, “You look handsome.” He shuddered, and the effect caused a giggle to escape me. I brought my lips to his ear once more. “Thank you for saving me.” I hoped he understood what I meant. I didn’t know how long Charles would have kept me trapped on the dance floor with him, but Wes’s intervention saved me from having to endure another second of it.

His body trembled once again, and knowing that I caused this reaction from him filled me with an odd joy that eased the hurt of his father’s words. I felt as Wes shifted under my hands. And this time, when he whispered in my ear, I felt his lips graze my delicate flesh. “Always.”

The word ricocheted within me, reverberating like an endless echo that made my heart soar. It was my turn to shudder, to tremble against him. He held me closer, pressing me against him, and I was lost. Over the moon, beyond the stars…floating in emotions so vast, in sensations so deep, I thought I was going to be lost forever in the galaxy of it all. And I loved how I fit in his embrace, my curves matching the rise and falls of him.

Then, we danced. He twirled me, swept me from one space to the next, dipped, and glided me here and there. But he always brought me back to the center, back to him. His face always remained close to mine, lips so near that the yearning to touch them—to taste them—was intoxicating. And suddenly, it finally hit me—Wes had always been my center, my savior. It always came back to him.

My breath escaped me as memories flooded my consciousness. Wes defending me against a mountain lion. Wes coming to my rescue at the Presidential Palace after being captured and tortured. Wes ensuring I survived the attack at the rebel base, even though I fought him every step of the way. Wes volunteering to help me with the Admin Job when no one else would. Wes willing to lead off hellhounds to ensure my escape. Wes going against his family’s wishes to save my brother. And now, Wes doing everything he could to shield me from his father who threatened to tear my soul apart.

Wes, Wes, Wes, Wes, Wes.

His name spun around in my mind like a carousel. It was always Wes.

If I was a princess in a fairytale, I had found my prince, and that realization struck me like a ton of breaks just as Edith’s words reverberated through my consciousness.

How can you not see what’s right in front of you?

How could I have been so blind? So blind not to see that Wes had always been there for me. Always there, even when I lied to him, pushed him away, or was wrapped in the arms of someone else. Wes was always there—angry, stubborn, hurtful, and sometimes an ass—but always there.

Always.

And I had been too stupid, too scared to see it. Too afraid to admit that maybe I wanted him to be there. That I wanted him more than anything else. That the emotions and inexplicable force that always drove me toward him was really my very own heart—my very soul—seeking her perfect match. And I…I was his.

I pulled away from him then, just enough to look straight into his eyes, and it was all there. Everything I had refused to see—refused to acknowledge—was on full display in the depths of those hazel eyes.

Love.

I let go of his hand, drawing both of my own onto his chest, and I felt him. I felt the beating of his heart, hard and fast. And I knew at that moment he was afraid. Afraid that I would take his soul—the part of him he had worked so hard to shield from the world—and reject it. But he had nothing to fear from me.

Not anymore.

I allowed my left hand to travel up his chest, feeling the fabric of his lapel, and then the smooth skin of his neck. His heart jumped under my right palm, galloping wildly in his chest. With bated breath, I whispered his name.

He pulled me closer, drawing me flush against his body, causing me to lose my voice. His spare hand caressed my cheek. “Mara, I…” he hesitated, and I felt my heart thundering inside me. I held my breath, the anticipation tearing me at the seams. “I…”

Do it. Just say it.

I had to hear it. I needed to hear him confirm everything I was only now beginning to understand. I needed to hear those words.

“I—”

“Mara,” someone interrupted, cutting Wes off, and causing us both to take a step away from each other. The world came back into focus, the magic broken, and I almost choked when my eyes landed on the intruder.

“Matias?” This was awkward, being caught in one of the most intense and intimate experiences of my life by my quasi-sorta-ex. I placed a hand on my chest, fiddling with my necklace as I tried to convince my heart to slow down.

“Hey,” Matias said hesitantly, eyes flicking from me to Wes, and then back to me again. “Can we talk? Please?”

I glanced at Wes, watching as he shifted, facing away from me. “Now’s not a good time,” I said.

Matias licked his lips, desperation on the edge of his voice. “Please.”

“Matias,” I began, facing him once more. I couldn’t do this with him right now. Not when Wes and I were—

“Just go,” Wes said, interrupting my thoughts.

I looked at him. “Wes, no. I ca—”

“Go, Mara,” he repeated in a whisper. I saw it. I saw the hurt and the doubt curling up in the depths of his eyes. From one heartbeat to the next, Wes’s stoic mask shifted into place and shut me out. “Just go.”

“But—”

He didn’t let me finish. He turned and walked away, disappearing into the sea of glittering gowns and black tuxedos.

43: One More Chance

My world was spinning, and I felt so disconnected from my own body as Matias guided me through the endless mass of faces. All I kept thinking of was the look in Wes’s eyes before he shut himself back up behind his emotional walls. My world was turning upside down. Truths I had been trying to hide from myself were spinning out of control, and all I wanted to do was go back to him. To run back and bury myself in the sanctity of his embrace.

“Matias, I’m sorry,” I began, feeling him tug me along toward a giant floor-to-ceiling window. “I just can’t do this right now.” I looked back behind me, catching sight of Edith several yards away in a stunning red dress that looked more like she painted it on her figure. She was laughing, surrounded by a throng of guys who looked like they were ready to offer her the world.

Despite the rush of confusing emotions within me, I smiled. Just wait until I told her I had finally figured it out. Of course, that meant I was also going to have to apologize and admit I was wrong and she was right. And lord knows I would never hear the end of that!

“Please, Mara,” Matias begged. I snapped my attention back to him. “I just—I just have to get this out, and it can’t wait anymore.” Coming up to the window, he reached for a handle. I realized then that in the middle of the giant window was a door leading out to a balcony that overlooked the estate. Opening it, he ushered me out into the cool night, a breeze causing me to shiver and pull my wrap tighter around me.

I walked out to the railing, glancing out across gardens of flowers and the glistening waters of a serene pond, before turning to face Matias. He was cute in his tux, looking older than I knew he was. His boyish features—sweet as always, with the tousled locks of black-brown hair that framed his deep brown eyes—reminded me of a love come and gone. He hesitated, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, hands fidgeting as his nerves got the best of him.

What was he so nervous about? I knew things had been awkward between us, but not so much so that he should be this uncomfortable. He blew out a breath, clearly trying to ease his angst. I felt so bad for him that I just couldn’t help myself. I walked up to him, cupping his cheek with my hand. “Hey, it’s okay. What’s going on?” I asked, putting a smile on my face to reassure him. “Why are you so nervous?”

He closed his eyes as he leaned into my palm. “Mara,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.” Opening his eyes, he poured himself out. “I wasn’t there for you when I should have been. I let my anger about what happened to Chelsea keep me from doing what I should have. I should have been there for you with the Admin Job. If something had happened to you, I never would have forgiven myself.”

“Shh, it’s okay. Is this why you’re so worked up? I’m not upset about it. It’s fine,” I repeated, trying to convince him.

“No, it’s not fine, Mara. None of it was fine.” He took my hand from his face and held it. “That’s what I’m trying to say. None of it was okay. And then I disappeared on you. I ghosted you. No wonder you picked him over me. I mean, what kind of guy does that make me? To just leave you when you needed me the most.”

I parted my lips, but no words came out. I just listened as he desperately spilled out all his regrets, but I just didn’t know if I could contain them for him. He was finally telling me everything I had so hopelessly wanted to hear from him, but it was too late.

“I know it’s complicated with Chelsea. I know that. But please…please, don’t do this,” he begged. “Don’t let Sasha marry you off to him. Don’t let her hold you hostage because of your brother. Please. I promise you we’ll figure it out.” He took my face in his hands then, holding me gently like he had so many times before. “We’ll figure it out together, okay? But don’t do this. Don’t choose him.”

“Oh Matias,” I uttered as my heart broke. I couldn’t give him what he wanted, and I knew it was going to hurt him. And I never wanted to hurt him. Never. “I-I just…” I stumbled over my words, looking for the gentlest way to tell him. To say that my heart wasn’t his…that it never was. “I can’t…”

“Please, Mara. I’m begging you. Remember the forest. Remember every moment we shared. I told you I would always come back for you. I’m fulfilling that promise now. I’m coming back to you, for you. Now all you have to do is accept it.”

“I can’t—”

Matias swooped down, pulling my face to his, and pressed his lips to mine, completely catching me by surprise. He kissed me hard and passionately, like so many times before, taking my very breath into his body.

I pushed him away. He didn’t try to fight me. He let me go, a pained expression crossing his face. I placed both my hands to my chest, surprising even myself with my next words. “I love him, Matias. I’m so sorry, but I love him.”

Hearing those words, hearing my voice proclaim that truth, sent a surge of joy throughout my body. It was scary to admit, to actually say them out loud. But letting my lips form those words, letting my heart lean into them, felt so good, so right, so freeing. Was this what it felt like to be in love? To feel like you could soar through the sky, dance on the clouds, and melt into the stars?

I blinked, returning my attention to Matias. My admission was all I had to say to him. He knew I couldn’t take him back, that my heart belonged to Wes. His eyes glimmered, and I could see the tears threatening to fall. Sorrow folded across his face, his eyes looking away as he grimaced. And then he nodded, slipping his hands in his pockets as his shoulders sagged in defeat.

“I know,” he whispered. Then he looked up at me with his cute, boyish smile that used to melt my heart. “But I had to try. You can’t blame a guy for trying, right?”

My vision blurred as I shook my head gently, returning the smile. “No, I can’t blame you for trying.”

He pressed his lips together, and then shook his body out, exhaling loudly. “We okay?”

“Yeah, we’re okay.” I watched him nod as I stepped forward and wiped a stray tear from his cheek with my fingertips. “I’ll always care about you.”

I meant it. I meant it from the depths of my soul. Because there would always be a place in my heart for him. Without him, I would have been lost in my own darkness. He gave me the courage to stay strong as my family tore me apart in the shadows of the basement. And for that, I would always love him.

His smile broadened, and then he drew me into a hug, folding his arms around me. I nestled my face into his shoulder and breathed him in, relishing the familiar smell of him—evergreen and citrus—that brought me right back to the forest. After a moment, I let him go, stepped back, and looked into his eyes one last time.

A mixture of pain and acceptance was painted across the lines of his face. “Well,” he sighed, “we should probably get back to the party, huh?”

I rolled my eyes. “If you only knew how much drama there is behind this freaking party.”

He laughed, some of the pain being swept from his face. “You’ll have to tell me all about it.” He took my arm and draped it around his, turning to escort me back into the gala. I sighed, feeling a mixture of sorrow for what was lost and excitement for what was to come.

But it all came crashing down.

Because when I lifted my head to look through the doorway and back into the ballroom, my heart sank into its grave. There, wearing the most wretched smile I had ever seen, was Calista.

44: Always

No… I inhaled deeply, fear a wild thing inside of me as I watched Calista turn and run toward the dance floor.

No, no, no, no!

I let go of Matias and took off after her, gathering my skirts as I went through the doorway and back into the ballroom. What did she hear? What did she see?

Oh god, please…please don’t let something bad happen. Please!

I scanned the hundreds of faces twirling on the floor until my eyes caught sight of wavy blonde locks, creamy skin, and a black dress out towards the middle of the floor. I didn’t hesitate. I launched myself into the mass, swimming among the faces and glittering gowns, trying to reach Calista. If she saw Matias kiss me…if she heard him begging me to stay with him… Panic surged within me, desperation rising. I had to reach her before she had a chance of uttering a single word. I pushed through, forced myself through the maze, watching as her figure came closer and closer.

Please, please, please, please… I kept begging the universe, begging the stars, begging God, begging whoever or whatever was up there.

I shoved past a couple swirling in front of me, and then dodged another as a man dipped a woman’s body in my path.

Breathe, Mara. Just breathe.

She was close…just within reach. I stretched out my hand, fingers opened wide as I wrapped them around Calista’s shoulder and pulled her back toward me, spinning her around. As she spun to face me, her surprised expression shifted, and her evil smile slipped into place as she arched a brow.

“Calista,” I breathed out.

“Oh, Mara,” she said, her voice saccharine. “It’s you…the little princess of Telvia.”

She was mocking me, but I had to keep it together. Blondie was a ticking bomb—one I couldn’t afford to let detonate. Not when all of my plans were already hanging on the edge. Not when Charles already believed me to be nothing more than some sort of Telvian harlot, pulled out of District 3 to play the part of Telvian royalty.

“Calista,” I said again cautiously, and I could hear it. I could hear the silent plea in my voice. “What did you see?”

She lifted her chin high as a dangerous grin curled on her lips. “My dear Mara,” she began, just a little too loudly. “I took you for a lot of things…” Her voice got louder with each word she uttered, enough that the people surrounding us started to turn and pay attention.

I smiled nervously at everyone before setting my gaze back on her. “Calista, please,” I begged under my breath. “Whatever you think you saw—”

She spoke over me as she shook her head with feigned disappointment and shock, one hand settling over her chest. “I just never took you for a slut.” The last word came out way too loud. If no one was paying attention before, they were definitely paying attention now. Everyone backed away from us.

My cheeks reddened as a tremor settled over my body. “Please,” I begged again, my voice coming out as a whisper. “It’s not what you think.”

“Tell me what I should think, Telvian.” She slowly stalked around me, like a jaguar circling prey.

I couldn’t breathe, a knot forming in my throat, threatening to suffocate me. And I was frozen under the accusatory gazes of hundreds of eyes as Calista walked around behind me. She stepped up close, bringing her ruby painted lips to my ear and whispered so that only I could hear her. “You might be the First Daughter of Telvia, but a bad reputation can kill a future just as much as a knife in the back.”

My eyes widened. My heart seized. My stomach churned. It all happened so fast, too fast. No one else saw it. No one else knew just how malicious Blondie really was.

But I did.

I knew.

And I felt it. Her hands clasped the fabric at my back, and she yanked. The shawl dropped from my shoulders, slipping through my fingers, and cascaded to the floor. In one heartbeat, the landscape of my disfigured body was revealed to the world.

Naked truth.

Proof that I was worthless.

A weak body to be tortured.

Just a thing to be detested.

Broken.

“Oops,” she said dryly, stepping away from me. She didn’t stay to watch. She didn’t need to. Because one look at the crowd showed me nothing but repulsed faces.

I didn’t know when the music stopped, but it only made everything worse. Because I heard them—mutterings, whispered accusations, condemnations…

“Nobility doesn’t like that…”

“How ugly…”

“Pity…she had such a pretty face…”

“Who on earth would want that thing…”

“How revolting…”

“It’s sickening…”

“What a disgrace…”

Their words filled my ears, spun in my mind, wrecked my soul. It was every nightmare I ever had, brought to life from one breath to the next. I watched as they gaped at me. They pointed, they stared, they sneered, they crumpled their faces in nauseating disgust. And not one of them looked at me with empathy. Not one of them stepped forward to help.

I felt it. I felt as my body trembled under the weight of their judgmental stares. I felt as my heart pounded in my chest, my breath too short, too shallow. Dizziness swept through me as the world closed in. And I was desperate and scared and hurt and ashamed and it was all just too much, too fast. I couldn’t do this. It wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth being shamed and humiliated. It wasn’t worth having everyone look down on you like you were worthless. Like you were something repulsive…something to be destroyed. Marissa’s warning mocked me.

If people see any part of you as broken…they will destroy you.

But what if you were already broken? What if there was little left of you, and what was left was nothing more than a shadow of the person you were meant to be? What if…what if I was already shattered?

Worthless.

My chest heaved as I reached to the floor, picking up the mockingly beautiful wrap to cover my shame. As I stood up, I couldn’t help it anymore. The tears flooded my vision and fell down the curves of my cheeks. I gripped the useless fabric and carefully slipped it back over my shoulders, covering myself as a sob escaped me.

I couldn’t…I couldn’t do it anymore.

I was broken.

And just as I thought I would crumble under the critical glares of the crowd, I heard a soft, compassionate sound in my ear—him.

“Stay with me, Mara.” The warmth of his voice caused me to take a desperate breath. And suddenly, Wes was in front of me, filling my vision. I felt the heat of his body so close to mine. The tender caress of his hands as they cupped my cheeks, guiding my face to his, keeping my focus on him. “Stay with me,” he whispered again. I met his eyes then, drawn into the golden amber, alive and swirling, pulling me into their depths. And when I did, everything inside of me seized. Wes’s hazel eyes held me captive, and I allowed myself to be his prisoner, giving into the hunger and longing that flickered within. “Stay with me,” he repeated gingerly once more.

My lips parted as my breath slowed, and the world blurred into nothing more than color and lights. His hands drifted down my neck, and then…he sent the shawl falling off my shoulders, back to the ground.

My breath hitched. “But—” I breathed out, the fear and desperation clawing back up my throat. “They’ll see.”

Wes never took his eyes off me. “Let them,” he whispered back. “Let them all see. Trust me.”

I could barely breathe as Wes took slow steps, slowly circling around behind me. His hand traveled from my shoulder, grazing the landscape of my back. Fervent, gentle fingers feathered the rise and fall of my past…never hesitating, never halting. Just slow, intimate caresses as I stood there, doing my best to remain tall, to trust him.

I watched as the room held a collective breath as he stopped behind me. Both his hands came to rest on my hips, drawing me toward him as his lips grazed my ear. His breath fell over the skin of my neck, across the supple flesh of my shoulder, until it stopped. With tender slowness, he placed one feathered kiss on my shoulder, making sure his lips grazed one of my scars, scorching my skin and stealing my breath.

It was a war inside of me, so many emotions erupting within. To have him touch my fragile skin, kiss the scars of my past…I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to feel. But the riot inside was climbing. The fevered intensity of every sensation Wes ever made me feel, filled me to the brim.

Wes continued his circle around me, his eyes meeting mine once again. My poor heart raced as the heat swirled like the inferno of the sun, threatening to burn me alive, and my lungs begged for breath I could not give them as Wes slowly slipped down onto one knee.

Oh my god.

“Mara,” he began, his voice steady, firm, and deep. “I see all of you. I see all that you were and all that you are. I’ve seen your past, and now I ask to be your future.”

Oh my ever-loving god.

Wes reached into his pocket and pulled out a platinum ring with a oval hazel-colored gem resting between two smaller white diamonds. This wasn’t his grandmother’s ring. This was something completely different—beautiful—and more breathtaking than anything I could ever imagine. Taking my left hand, he held up the ring in the other.

“Mara,” he paused, and I felt my chest tighten. “Stay with me?”

The world held its breath as time stood still. I looked into Wes’s eyes and every memory I shared with him flooded through me. Every moment of hidden desire. Every second wanting, longing for him. All of it crowned by this one moment in time. My lips parted, a word hanging on the tip of my tongue, but the fear…the fear that maybe I wasn’t worth it gave me pause. My eyes met his, and I swore I could see his soul in the depths of his eyes. I heard his voice break through my doubt, echoing in my consciousness.

Stay with me.

And then the fog cleared, and breath finally entered my desperate lungs, deep and satisfying. I said the only thing that made sense.

“Always.”

45: Not Anymore

Taking my left hand, Wes slipped the silvery band onto my finger, and I watched as the stones glimmered, catching the light. The room broke out into applause, but I didn’t care. Their cheers were empty, superficial, shallow. They didn’t really care that the girl they had just judged was now the betrothed of the First Son. They applauded out of custom, out of expectation, and I had no doubt that questions and confusion riddled their minds. Their act was nothing more than noise in the background to me. I just focused on Wes, his eyes speaking a thousand words that I had somehow failed to understand. A smile crossed his lips as he stood. His eyes never left mine as he pulled me closer, his hands rising to cup my cheeks, his thumbs gently brushing away the trails of my tears. My heart raced as the blaze in Wes’s eyes consumed me, and he drew my face to his. His nose touched mine—a loving, playful touch. Then he waited…letting the ache build up within me. Desperation rose once again, but this time, for Wes to kiss me.

I drew up my hand, grabbing the lapel of his tux, pulling him toward me as my lips parted. But he resisted me, waiting. I searched his eyes, and I saw the vulnerability, his fear that maybe I would reject him. That maybe…maybe I didn’t want him, and this was just all part of the show, part of the facade we had been forced to play.

As if to confirm my suspicions, Wes let out a slow, shuddered breath as he whispered, “May I?”

And my heart melted. Because the man that demanded and took whatever he wanted refused to steal a simple kiss without my consent. And that, that proved to me that for all of Wes’s strength and hard-ass attitude, he really was just a fragile soul, trusting me to hold it safe, to shield it from the cruel world we lived in. In that moment, I vowed to myself that I would never betray his trust…that I would protect him, whatever it took.

I whispered back, “Yes.”

He smiled, a true, heartfelt smile that reached his eyes and only melted my heart further. And just when I thought I would have to take the kiss from him, he started lowering his lips toward mine, but they never reached me.

Silence fell across the crowd…except for one, steady clap. It vibrated loudly throughout the ballroom, causing Wes to pull back. As the sound grew closer, the sea of nobility slowly parted, revealing Charles Calvernon sauntering toward us.

Dread pooled in my belly, adrenaline pumping through me. Because I wasn’t stupid. I knew the smile plastered across Charles’s face was nothing more than a mask. A mask that hid the fury that swirled within. I realized then that I feared this man as much as I feared Belinda. Instinctually, I took a step back, the urge to flee rising within me. Wes grew stiff as he stood up to his full height, rolling his shoulders back, and sidestepping so that he stood in front of me.

Charles continued his steady, slow clap until he stood right in front of us. “Well, well, well,” he began as he stared at Wes. “What a grand surprise this is.” Charles turned to face the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have a wonderful occasion to celebrate. And what a need we have to celebrate during these dark and difficult times.” He turned back to face us, his eyes locking on me, and I saw it—the rage burning within him. He stepped towards me, but Wes shifted his body another inch. It was hardly noticeable, but enough to send the silent message to his father not to take another step.

Charles’s mask faltered for only a second as he sent a scathing glare at Wes. And then it was gone, the smooth smile back in place. “Of course,” he announced aloud, “considering Miss de la Puente’s relationship with our enemy to the west, and her connections with our Dissenter allies, the North will certainly be happy to consider the possibility of this union.”

Charles faced his guests once again, raising his hands high in the air. “Tonight, we celebrate young love, which always blossoms no matter how impossible the odds. Maestro, cue up the music!” Within a few seconds, the music began again, and Charles’s well-trained audience followed their orders, clapping and then resumed dancing.

Charles swirled to face us again, taking two menacing steps forward until he was right in Wes’s face. “We will have words about this, boy. Do you hear me? And there will be consequences.”

I moved to stand by Wes. As much as I wanted to be as far away from Charles as I could, I also didn’t want Wes to face him alone. But no sooner than I came up to his left side, his arm shot out, pushing me back behind him.

“Yeah, I got it, Dad,” he said through gritted teeth.

Charles held his gaze, and then looked back at me, before shifting back to Wes. “You better be careful, boy. Or you might find yourself in a position that you can’t escape from.”

“Is that a threat?” Wes challenged.

“It’s a promise. A reminder of how quickly things can go wrong when you make enemies with the wrong people.” Charles took a step back from Wes and looked at me once again. “And you, cover yourself up. You’re disgusting my guests,” he spat at me. I didn’t hear anything else after that. I only saw Wes take one threatening step forward as his father walked backward with his sick smile back in place. Charles turned and disappeared into the crowd. I watched as Wes’s shoulders softened. He faced me with tenderness and grief in his eyes and reached out to take me back into his arms.

But I couldn’t move. I just closed my eyes, hanging my head, feeling the tears welling back up. How could something so beautiful be overshadowed but such darkness? I finally had Wes, finally found love, only to have Charles ominously looming above us. I was so happy, but at the same time, I was so afraid. What was going to happen to us? What was going to happen to Wes?

Wes’s arms folded around me, pulling me against the warmth of his chest, the safety of his arms. And I buried my face in his tux, a small sigh escaping me as he rested his head on my crown. He held me, the seconds dutifully passing, until he pulled me back, and brought his face down towards mine.

“Hey,” he whispered, taking a hand to wipe away a stray tear. “Let’s get out of here.”

There was absolutely nothing else that Wes could have offered me in that moment that I would have wanted more than escaping that stupid gala. I nodded, trying to offer him a weak smile. He gave me one in return, wiping another tear off my cheek. “Okay,” was all he said before he pulled away from me, lacing his fingers with mine, and guided me out of the ballroom.

***

I didn’t want to see or deal with anyone. So much had happened in one night. Too much. Too much for any sane person to absorb. And I was a colossal mess of emotions. I felt everything from fear of Charles, fear of what was going to happen, to shame and embarrassment, to hate for Calista for what she’d done to me. And, of course, who could forget that I just got engaged. I had finally put all the puzzle pieces together and realized that I liked Wes. And not just liked him, but I…I loved him. And that realization sent me tumbling over the moon.

So when Wes asked me where I wanted to go, I told him I just wanted to disappear where I wouldn’t have to face anyone. No surprises. I had had enough of those to last me a lifetime. Without another word, Wes guided me through to the opposite side of the castle, down a hall, and then stopped in front of one of several closed doors in the hallway. With a simple click, he opened it and pulled me inside.

Closing the door behind me, he flipped on the lights, and I realized I was in a bedroom. I stepped in further, glancing around, and noticed a similar set-up to my own. Except this room was more personalized, with a four-poster bed—no canopy—a luscious looking white comforter with stone-gray pillows and sheets, already turned down by the housekeeping staff for the night. By the window, two plush reading chairs, also stone-gray, waited by a cold fireplace. I walked over to a dark dresser along the wall, noticing a bottle of cologne, a discarded cummerbund, and several cufflinks across the top.

“Is this…?”

“My room?”

I turned around to face him. “Yeah?”

Wes slipped his coat off, tossing it on a clothes valet near him, and then undid his cuffs, rolling up the sleeves. “You wanted someplace where no one would bother you. I figured this was the safest bet. Unfortunately, during parties like this, there’s always people everywhere. But here,” he said as he took off his bowtie, undid the top three shirt buttons, and untucked his shirt. “Here…no one’s going to bother you here.”

Honestly, I didn’t even care about his answer anymore. It could have been his father’s room for all I cared. Because in that moment all I could focus on was how incredibly sexy Wes looked in front of me. And I soaked him all in. From his black dress shoes and slacks to the white shirt, rolled-up sleeves, and hands tucked in his pockets in a relaxed pose. The tempting peek of skin poking through the open V of his shirt, and his handsome face with eyes that blazed, sending shivers up my spine in the most tantalizing way.

Wes smirked then. That devilish smile he always gave me when he caught me gaping. And I…I didn’t care. I didn’t care that he saw me admiring his long limbs, broad shoulders, and gorgeous angular face that made him look like a god. Because he was mine. And I was his.

As if reading my mind, knowing my thoughts, Wes shifted his weight and took slow, predatory steps toward me. Deliberate, measured, purposeful. Each one enflaming the intensity growing within me. And I couldn’t resist it. I didn’t want to. Not anymore.

I swallowed as Wes stepped in front of me, eyes burning just as hot as the inferno inside me. He drew up a hand, wrapped it behind my neck and slipped his fingers into my hair. With his other, he caressed my cheek, letting his thumb brush the sensitive skin of my lips, causing them to part. I shuddered. With agonizing anticipation, I watched as Wes’s gaze shifted to my lips.

I felt his breath, smelled his cologne, and I loved how they intoxicated my senses. My heart raced as the butterflies in my belly grew into white doves that twirled in a dance of utter desire that pooled low in my body, threatening to tear me apart. Then, he finally closed the gap.

Wes kissed me.

46: Hungry

His lips grazed mine, soft and gentle like the first rains of spring, as my hands reached up to wrap around his neck. He drew me closer then, continuing to support my head as his other hand slipped behind my lower back, pulling me into him, flushing our lower halves together. But I grew needy. Months of pent-up, confusing emotions finally finding release caused me to whimper. Sensing my desire, hearing the sounds of my need, fueled him. And suddenly, the tender caresses of his lips became deep and passionate.

Hungry.

Never letting me go, he begged me to let him in, and I happily parted my lips, allowing him passage, relishing as he slipped through and explored. My hands slipped down his shoulders, coming to rest on his chest, gripping the fabric, begging him to give me more. It emboldened him, causing his movements to become quick and desperate as the hand in my hair gripped the strands firmly, pulling gently. The subtle shift, the cry for dominance, sent a shiver through me, and I gasped.

He inhaled my breath, consuming my soft cry, and before I knew what was happening, I was swept off my feet, his lips never leaving mine. I was tossed onto my back, onto soft sheets that cradled my body while Wes consumed me…his frame holding me captive under the weight of his muscular body.

My hands traveled upwards to caress his face, kissing him back deeply, tasting every bit of him while I shuddered under the touch of his wandering hands. They traveled along my curves, the rise and fall of my chest, and down my sides to my hips, leaving a trail of heat and tingling sensations that threatened to drive me mad.

And I wanted him.

I wanted him so badly. I wanted to be lost forever in his touch, to disappear and never be found so long as I could live and breathe in the warmth of his embrace.

Because I loved him. I loved Wes Calvernon.

May god bless the broken road that led me to him because I would walk it a thousand times again as long as it always led me back to Wes. To the man that had always been there and always would.

Always.

I felt lightheaded, desperate for breath but not wanting to stop. But Wes must have sensed my growing need for air, and his lips slowed. His hands grew steady. And slowly, he planted a final kiss on my lips, then one on my cheek, and another at the base of my neck, before finally resting his face next to mine, his chest heaving as he took rapid breaths. I wrapped my arms around his neck, loving the feeling of his body collapsing over mine, giving into me and allowing me to hold him.

I don’t know how long we laid there like that. All I knew was I never wanted it to end. Eventually, we had to move, and sometime around midnight, Wes rolled off me, lying at my side. I lifted my ringed hand and stared at the honey-colored stone as it glistened.

“Do you like it?”

Glancing at him, I smiled. “I love it. It’s beautiful.”

“It’s a canary diamond. It was the closest thing I could find to gold. You said that was your favorite color, right?”

I couldn’t. I just couldn’t handle this boy. I took in a shuddered breath. “It’s perfect, Wes. It’s more than perfect.” A tear slipped my defenses, trailing down the side of my face, and I felt his finger wipe it away.

“Is something wrong?”

I sat up, trying to choke back the emotion welling up inside me. Today would bring unknown obstacles. Whatever Charles was going to do, I knew it wouldn’t be good. And that scared me.

“Mara?” I looked over my shoulder at him, at the look of concern on his face. “Is everything okay?”

I swallowed, trying to shove down the anxiety rising within me. “What’s going to happen?” I didn’t have to explain. He knew what I was afraid of.

Wes sat up, wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me back further onto the bed. Gathering me into him as he wrapped both his arms around me, his cheek resting on my head while I nestled my face into him.

“It’s going to be okay. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay? I’ve got you.”

If it could even be possible, my heart melted again. Because how could it not? How could I not be absolutely and totally in love with this boy? I leaned into him, wanting to be closer than was humanly possible, and Wes drew me in, wrapping his strength around me. I breathed him in, trying to commit this moment to memory. Trying to remember every piece in perfect detail.

“You know,” he said, “I’ve got way more comfortable clothing in the closet.” I stiffened, and then smirked. Wes was slick, but not that slick. I heard the playful tone skipping on the edge of his voice. “I’m just saying…”

I smiled, enjoying the distraction. “I guess it would be nice to get out of this dress.” And that was true. No matter how beautiful it was, it was ridiculously heavy. And when I looked around, Wes’s king-sized bed was more than half consumed by glittering blue fabric. “Yeah, I’m raiding your closet,” I added playfully, quickly scrambling out of his arms, off the bed, and to the door I was ninety-nine percent sure was the walk-in closet.

And I nailed it.

I slipped inside, ditched the dress and nylons, let my hair down in loose curls around my shoulders, and quickly slipped on one of Wes’s black shirts. And, of course, it looked more like a short dress on me, falling just above my mid-thigh. Blowing out a breath, feeling nervous as a schoolgirl, I left the closet. Wes was still dressed in his slacks, but his shoes and shirt were gone, leaving him in his tight, white tank. He was on the bed, resting against the headboard, one arm under his head with legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. When I came out of the closet, he turned to face me.

He didn’t even try to hide his smug look. “I like that look on you.”

“Oh really?” I said as I walked to the foot of the bed and climbed up, crawling on all fours towards him. “I can’t even imagine why,” I teased.

I barely caught the devilish smirk before he shot out, grabbing me by the shoulders, and pulled me on top of him. My knees slid to either side, straddling his waist. I placed my hands on his chest to balance myself while he continued to hold my upper arms. And slowly, he pulled me toward him, supporting the weight of my body as he drew me downwards.

I closed my eyes and felt as our lips met, grazing each other ever so gently, enjoying the taste of him. And then I was flying to my side, being flipped onto my back as he brought himself over me again. And oh my god, did I love the feeling of being helplessly pinned below the weight of his frame.

He kissed me once more, softly, teasingly, and then pulled back, shifting himself to lie beside me. Wrapping an arm around my waist, he pulled me toward him so that the curves of my back nestled into the curves of his front, spooning me. Settling his face into my neck and hair, his nose tickled my ear as he placed a kiss on the sensitive skin under my lobe.

“It’s late,” he whispered. “And we have to train again tomorrow. We’re going to have to get up early.”

Train? I had completely forgotten that tomorrow the hell games would start again. “Okay,” was all I said as he drew me closer to him, holding me.

But my mind was uneased.

All I kept thinking about was Charles and the operation to save my brother. All this time, my plan was to go on the mission, save Jacob, and then never return. My plan was always to run away and never look back. And why would I? I had nothing left.

But everything had changed.

In one moment, everything had turned upside down. I had been running from a marriage that I was afraid to accept, only to discover that now I just wanted to run toward it, toward him. I realized then that…

I didn’t want to leave.

Sure, I was terrified of what Charles was going to do. And I sure as hell didn’t want to stick around Castle Calvernon any longer than I had to. But I didn’t want to leave Wes. Now that I had finally found him, finally understood what my heart was trying to tell me all along, I didn’t want to go without him.

But I didn’t have to, right?

I mean, the deal was that I married Wes in exchange for help from the North to save Jacob and for him to be fully pardoned. As long as Charles stuck with his end of the bargain, there was no reason for me to run now. No reason why I couldn’t come back with Jacob and be with Wes.

Right?

It all rested on Charles now. As long as I could convince him I was truly the First Daughter of Telvia and explain why my parents would beat me as they did, it would be fine. I just had to prove that I wasn’t a nobody who was pretending to be Mara de la Puente.

I could do that.

He could scan my retinas, do a DNA test, or hook me up to some lie detector for all I cared. But I would convince him. And then all these problems would go away.

But that’s the crappy part about life sometimes. It has a funny way of turning your plans upside down and making you regret that you ever even tried.

47: The First Daughter of Telvia

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The alarm shattered my dream, jarring me back into reality. My eyes slowly drifted open as Wes shifted behind me. The annoying beeping was silenced, and I felt as he settled down next to me again. Lips feathered my neck as a hand traveled the length of my body. I moaned, rolling onto my back to look at him. Lying on his side, Wes propped his head up with one arm while the other traveled over my stomach and onto my waist.

“Good morning,” I whispered.

Leaning forward he smiled and grazed his lips against mine. Embers still alive within me rekindled the flames, and I reached up, pulling his face toward me, deepening the kiss.

He chuckled. “Mara, we’ve gotta get up.” But I noticed he made no move to unwrap my arms or pull away from me.

“Just one more minute,” I pleaded as I nuzzled his nose and then kissed him again, this time nibbling his bottom lip.

Wes moaned softly, closing his eyes as he inhaled. Excitement brewed inside me, delighted with the power I had over him. I parted my lips, begging him to let me in.

That did it. He lost all self-control. His hand was down on the bare skin of my thigh, gripping my flesh as his lips opened for me. I tasted him, feeling as he explored me, our breaths growing heavy and quick. My hand slid to grip his shirt, pulling on the fabric while his hand ran up my thigh, under my shirt, and over the curves of my waist, gripping my hips and pulling me toward him. My body went flush against his, and he felt amazing. Strong and firm, and the heat that swirled inside me was a wild thing. A tempest that couldn’t be tamed.

But all good things must come to an end.

Bing, bing!

“Ignore it,” I said through a gasp as I kissed him hungrily. He did as I asked, kissing me deeper, pushing my body into the mattress as the hand under my shirt traveled over my stomach, settling over my navel.

Bing, bing!

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him toward me, slipping my tongue past his lips and relishing his deep groan, causing me to arch my back.

Bing, Bing!

“Fuck,” he growled, pulling away. “What the hell?” I couldn’t help but laugh. As much as I didn’t want him to stop, it was pretty funny to witness his sexual frustration.

I reached up and kissed his neck. “Go ahead.”

He sighed deeply, trying to regain his control as he rolled over and reached for his tab on his nightstand. After a moment, he sat up, still reading the screen. His body tensed, and it didn’t take a genius to know that wasn’t good.

I sat up, shifting closer to him. “Wes?” He closed his eyes, lips thin as he breathed in slowly. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Jaw clenched, he opened his eyes and snapped his mini-tab on his wrist. “It’s my dad. He’s requesting we both meet him in his office.”

My heart skipped a beat as I tried to swallow, my throat suddenly dry. “Oh,” was all I could muster. I knew this was coming. But I also knew that I had nothing to hide, and that I needed to convince Charles Calvernon of my parentage for my plan to work. I nodded and started to move off the bed.

“Mara,” Wes reached for my wrist and pulled me back to him, “you don’t have to do this. This is between me and him. I’ll deal with it. Just go to the base, and I’ll meet you there.”

My heart swelled. I cupped his face in my hand and told him the same words I told him during the Admin Job. “You stay, then I stay. Remember?”

Wes’s eyes flickered with recognition as he smiled. “You’re going to be the death of me,” he whispered before drawing me into another kiss.

No matter how much I wanted to get lost in his arms, I knew we had a major problem we needed to resolve. And the quicker we got that problem behind us, the better for us both. I pulled away from him as he stood up.

“Go get dressed and I’ll meet you in your room. We’ll go see him together.”

Together.

The word did something to my heart, to my soul. Because that’s exactly what we were. We were together, and I had a ring to prove it.

***

We walked side by side, our fingers interlaced as we marched through the hall leading to Charles’s office. We decided to put on our cadet uniforms since our plan was to go straight to the base following this little meeting.

When we approached the door, Wes turned to face me. “Just let me do the talking, okay?” I nodded. Wes leaned down and gave me one more quick kiss before putting his hand on the handle and pushing the door open.

Inside, the same décor as the rest of the house adorned the office—gold lamps, tapestries, floor-to-ceiling bookcases, a plush red rug, and an ornately carved dark wooden desk right in the middle of the room. And, of course, Charles sat on the other side of it. But he wasn’t alone. Marissa and Sasha were with him.

“Well, it took you both long enough to arrive,” Charles began, eerily calm. “I hope you understand the gravity of this matter.” He stood up, putting his arms behind his back. “Now, President De’vor, I’m sure you’re aware of what we discovered last night, much to the disgust of my important guests.”

Sasha’s hair was in her typical braided bun. Her navy-blue pantsuit made her look reasonable, professional, and trustworthy. And she didn’t look the least bit intimidated.

“President Calvernon, as I have already explained to you, this is Mara de la Puente. Dissenters kidnapped her from the Presidential Palace, and she has been in my care ever since.”

Marissa stood next to her husband. “Be that as it may, President De’vor, you must understand how difficult it is for us to believe that the First Daughter of Telvia looks more like a beaten dog underneath her trappings.”

“Mom,” Wes snapped at her.

“Hush, boy,” Charles barked back. “I’ll deal with you later. But first,” he turned to face Sasha, “tell me why that girl looks like you picked her up from a slum?”

Sasha’s face remained serene, with her hands neatly folded in front of her. “Miss de la Puente was re-captured by Telvian scouts. When she refused to disclose any information about our camp or troops, her father resorted to torture to make her talk. What you see is the extent of Raúl’s wrath and vicious need to stamp out any dissent among his people, daughter or otherwise. I’ve told you before, Charles, that Raúl will stop at nothing to dominate this entire continent. And that includes you and the North.”

“You mean to tell me that Raúl whipped his daughter like that to make her talk?”

“Is it so hard to believe when his only son is being held at the Bellfire Tower awaiting his execution?”

Charles hesitated, wheels spinning in his head, until he cleared his throat. “If what you’re telling me is true, the man is demented to hit a woman like that.” Movement caught my eye, and I couldn’t help but notice Marissa shift uncomfortably, looking away from Charles to the floor.

“I don’t buy it,” Charles spat. “And even if it were true, what will everyone else think? All of those, those things were on full display. Everyone has seen them.”

“Then use them,” Sasha said, her patience waning. “You’re a smart man, Charles. One of the most brilliant strategists I know. Mara’s story is captivating. It has deceit, betrayal, love. Make the First Daughter of Telvia the poor girl you rescued from the clutches of her own father. Show her scars as proof that Raúl is evil…a man willing to disfigure his own daughter simply because she fell in love with a Dissenter.”

Charles’s eyes glimmered, the wheels turning once again. “A victim…a victim who the North has saved, giving her refuge.”

“Yes,” Sasha agreed. “A poor, lovesick girl who has been rescued by the most noble of presidents,” Sasha continued, stroking Charles’s ego. “Imagine how much more revered you would be by your people. And the Telvians? They will grovel at your feet for saving their beloved First Daughter. It would be like a fairytale.”

I raised a brow at that one, staring at Sasha. The woman was a master of lies, a side of her I hadn’t seen before. Weaving truth and farce into a tapestry that was believable and enticing. I was no beloved First Daughter. People barely knew I existed until I was declared dead and made to be a martyr. But I kept my mouth shut. Feel as I may about Sasha’s lies, they were helping me at the moment.

“Yes,” Charles muttered under his breath. “Yes, a helpless Telvian soul who has found solace in the North.”

“As good as the tale sounds, my dear,” Marissa cut in, “I’m not sure I believe this story. I think the wedding should be called off.”

“That’s not your decision to make, Mom. It’s mine.” Wes said. “And I’ve made my choice.”

“Hush, boy. The last order I gave you was not to propose until we settled this funny business. You disobeyed me for the last time, Wes. Don’t think that your insolence will go unpunished.”

Wes stiffened, balling his hands into fists. I squeezed his arm, urging him to stay quiet. His chin tipped my direction, jaw clenched and eyes smoldering, but he stayed silent.

Sasha spoke up. “I understand your hesitation, Lady Calvernon, I really do. But this girl is the daughter of Raúl de la Puente. If she were not, why would she be so intent on rescuing a man that wasn’t of her own flesh and blood?”

“Simple,” Marissa challenged, her gaze throwing daggers at Sasha. “She’s in love with the First Son of Telvia.”

“Ew,” the sound escaped my lips, but Marissa ignored me.

“She’s in love with Jacob de la Puente and is using my son to rescue her true love.”

“He’s my brother!” I interjected.

“I don’t believe you,” Marissa shot back. “Mara de la Puente was pronounced dead months ago!”

“Enough!” Charles yelled, slamming his hand on his desk. “I’ve heard enough.” The room fell into silence. Charles watched us under scrutinizing eyes before he paced back and forth behind his desk. I chanced a glance at Sasha, but her look of confidence and complete calm was firmly in place, her gaze transfixed on the President of the North. After a moment, Charles cleared his throat and stopped pacing, turning to face her.

“I’ll buy this story for now. We’ve been allies since the beginning of this mess, Sasha. I trusted you then. I’ll trust you now. But so help me, if I discover that she”—he threw a pointed finger at me—“is not a true de la Puente, you can consider the alliance between the North and the Dissenters over.”

Sasha closed her eyes, appearing contrite as she bowed her head momentarily before opening them and looking at Charles once more. “Of course. I guarantee, however, that I’ve brought you a true de la Puente child. You have nothing to fear.”

“Mmm, yes,” he said dubiously. “Time will tell.”

Sasha said nothing in return, holding her head up higher, always maintaining her air of composure. “Is there anything else you would like to review, Charles? As you can imagine, I have a very busy day ahead of me, as I’m sure your son and Miss de la Puente do as well.”

Charles pursed his lips, weighing something in his head before he finally cleared his throat. “Yes, well, I suppose that’ll do for now. I appreciate your time, Sasha, and your willingness to come see me on such short notice.”

Sasha tipped her head in acknowledgement. “Of course. Now, why don’t these two come with me? I know they are already late for their training.”

“That won’t be necessary. I have further matters to discuss with them.”

Sasha’s face grew serious for a moment before she swept a smile across it. “I see. Well, I can wait for them outside. No need to have so many vehicles driving to the same location.”

“I said that won’t be necessary.” Charles grew austere. “In fact, let me have someone escort you to your vehicle, President De’vor.”

Sasha met Charles’s aggressive stare head on, holding it before she finally sighed. “Very well. No need for the escort, Charles. I believe I can make it there myself.” With that, she turned on her heels, catching my gaze for a second before walking to the door and leaving the room.

I shifted my attention back to Charles Calvernon. And what happened next sent my world spinning head over foot once again, because everything was about to change. I just didn’t know it yet.

48: Nightmare

The moment the door clicked behind us, Charles came around the desk, swept his arm across his chest, and then let it fly, backhanding Wes with a sharp, loud smack that caused me to yelp. Wes’s face turned violently with the force of the hit, his whole body staggering back.

“Wes!” I screamed just as Marissa yelled, “Charles!”

“Never defy me again, boy. Never. Consider this your final warning,” Charles sneered.

I stepped toward Wes, grabbing his arm and turning him so I could look at his face. A small trickle of blood dripped from a cut on his bottom lip. I cupped his cheeks, but Wes shook me off, wiping off the blood with the back of his hand.

Both Calvernon men stared at one another, venomous glares that spoke more than words could ever say. Charles broke the silence first. “Leave my office.” Wes narrowed his eyes at his father before facing me and taking my hand. “She stays,” Charles ordered.

“Fuck no,” Wes spat out.

“Watch it, boy,” Charles snapped, “or you’ll regret it.”

“I’m not leaving without her.”

“Wes, please,” Marissa begged, coming around the desk to grip her son’s arm. “Please…for me?”

I remembered in that moment what Wes had shared with me before, that the more he disobeyed his father, the more Charles hurt Marissa. She was a weapon against him—a noose that kept Wes chained to obedience. Wes opened his mouth to protest, pulling his arm out of his mother’s grasp. But I couldn’t bear to see his father hit him again. Not because of me. And even though Marissa didn’t like me, I felt bad for her. I knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of someone’s abuse, and I didn’t want Wes to have to choose between us.

I reached out to him, grabbing his shirt in one hand while cupping his cheek in the other, bringing his eyes to mine. “Hey,” I whispered, “it’s okay. I’ll be fine. Just go with your mom outside. I’ll be right there.”

“Whatever he has to say to you, he can say to me,” he argued.

“Please,” I said. “Please go outside.”

“Listen to Mara,” his mother coaxed, grabbing his arm again.

“I’ll be right there,” I assured him.

Wes searched my eyes, weighing my request.

“Please,” I pleaded. I dropped my voice low so that only he could hear. “Remember your mom, Wes. Please.” I watched as he broke, his shoulders slumping. “Thank you,” I whispered.

He took in a deep breath, glaring at his father one last time before looking at me again. “I’ll be outside.”

I nodded.

Wes turned away, Marissa taking his arm again, touching his face, trying to tend to him as they walked out of the room. When the door clicked closed, the room sat in silence, and instantly, my heart pounded as I heard a languid clap behind me. With one deep breath, I slowly faced Charles.

“Well, you’ve certainly fucked that boy up. He was a pain in the ass to begin with, but now…” Charles let his sentence trail off.

“What do you want?” My voice came out tart, clearly displaying that there was no love lost between us.

“Watch it, girl. Mind your tone, or I’ll remind you in ways you’ll never forget.” Ice. His words felt like piercing ice. And suddenly, I felt like a child back in Telvia. Charles paced in front of me, arms behind his back. “You’re going to sign over Telvia to me.”

What? That made no sense. What the hell was he talking about?

“When you return from the tower, you and your brother will both sign a treaty that relinquishes your claim to Raúl’s lands. Do you understand?”

I shook my head. “You’re already getting the South when I marry Wes. I don’t under—”

He stormed towards me, causing me to jump and take several steps backward. “Don’t question me, girl. You’re going to do as you’re told. You’re going to sign the fucking treaty, and then you’re going to convince your brother to do the same. As long as you convince Jacob de la Puente to cooperate, then perhaps the verdict of his trial will be favorable.”

My stomach bottomed out. “What? What do you mean his trial?”

Charles smiled, and it was a smile that would haunt me for days to come. “For his crimes, of course.”

I stepped forward. “You can’t do that! The agreement was that my brother would get a full pardon.”

“Oh, I assure you, I can,” he said, his face twisting into menacing glee. “The agreement was that the Dissenters would not hold a trial against him, but I am no Dissenter, girl. If Sasha refuses to prosecute him, that’s her business, but he will stand trial for the role he played in the crimes committed against the North.”

“That’s not fair!”

He stormed the distance between us, his frame towering mine. “Life’s not fair, is it? Wes disobeyed a direct order because of you, and now I’m left to clean up this mess from last night. You and Wes want to play games with me? That’s fine. Be ready to watch how real men play the game.”

Anger raged within me, my hands curling into fists as I glared at Charles. “I won’t sign.”

He pointed a finger at me, growing taller, broader before my eyes. I couldn’t help it. I cringed. “You don’t sign, then I can guarantee your brother will rot in that tower. You can say goodbye to ever seeing him again, and then you can watch him burn alive as they did my son.”

“You can’t do that!” I repeated, tears of desperation beginning to flood my vision. This was bad. This was so, so bad. What the hell was I going to do? I had no cards to play, no power to wield, nothing to shield me or protect my brother. I was useless, worthless, broken.

“Oh, I can, and I will. So you’re going to be a good girl, and you’re going to sign the treaty. And then, you’re going to keep my fucking son in line,” he yelled at me, his face only inches from mine. “You’re going to make sure that when I tell him to jump, he jumps. When I tell him to kneel, he kneels.”

“I don’t control Wes—” I protested, but I didn’t get the chance to finish. Charles shot out his hand and gripped the hair on the back of my head. “Stop it! You’re hurting me!”

“You’re going to control him, I assure you. You’re going to make him the perfect son. I don’t care how you do it.” He pulled my hair harder, pulling my head back so I couldn’t look anywhere else but at his face. “But you will control him, or I predict that your brother’s trial won’t go well for him. That he might as well have been left to rot in that tower. Do you understand?”

I swallowed, feeling my poor heart abusing itself in its cage. “Yes,” the sound barely audible as fear drenched every nerve in my body.

“I’m sorry, Miss de la Puente,” Charles twisted his grip in my hair, causing me to wince, my knees buckling, “but I couldn’t hear you. I asked, do you understand?”

My lashes fluttered, teardrops clinging to the delicate strands. “Yes,” I repeated louder. “I understand.”

“Good,” he responded and then let go of my hair forcibly. “Now, go be a good girl, and bring me back a Telvian prince.”

I glared at him, fear still gripping my soul as I turned to leave.

“Miss de la Puente,” Charles called, causing me to pause. “If you tell anyone about our arrangement, the scars your father left on you won’t even compare to what I’ll do to you…or to my son.”

I didn’t reply. I couldn’t.

My life went from fairytale to nightmare in one morning. I had no idea how I was going to keep my brother alive and Wes safe from his father. The whole thing was hitting me like a runaway train. And when I finally met up with Wes and saw his pained expression, I knew I couldn’t tell him. I knew I couldn’t share that he had to be a slave to his father’s wishes for me…because of me. I couldn’t tell him I was now a weapon against him. That the love he had finally allowed himself to feel was the very thing that would keep him enslaved in this godforsaken house. I felt as his lips touched mine. Heard as he asked me what happened, and listened as I held the truth back from him, lying through a reassuring smile.

It’s funny how life can be. I made a promise that I would never betray his trust, that I would protect him no matter what. And here I was…the only way to keep him safe was by breaking my vow to never deceive him.

I just hoped that he could forgive me, because I wasn’t sure if I would ever forgive myself.

49: Just Getting Started

We didn’t talk about much on the drive. In fact, we didn’t talk at all. I thought Wes was still nursing his pride after his father backhanded him in front of me, while I…well, I was freaking out.

Everything was falling apart, and I was finding myself cornered with little options. Charles had me caught between a rock and a hard place, and he knew it. He was going to use me to make Wes do things I knew he didn’t want. And I couldn’t bear that. Wes spent his life cooking up ways to defy his father, to assert silently that he was his own person. But Charles was going to use me like a vice, choking Wes, making him conform into a version of himself he didn’t want to be.

I just couldn’t do that.

I couldn’t be the person who forced Wes into that position. But, if I didn’t, then I risked my brother’s life. I risked Charles having Jacob executed or keeping him as a prisoner for the rest of his existence as leverage against me.

I was stuck.

And no matter how hard I turned the puzzle in my head, I couldn’t find a way out…except for one. There was exactly one card I had left to play. The only card Charles didn’t expect from me.

And I was going to play it.

But I was going to need help. I was going to need two very specific people for the job. And I was going to have to be quick about it because time was running out.

***

We arrived at the base an hour later. Jim texted Wes while Matias texted me, both with the same message: Get down here, NOW!

And once we arrived at the gym, we put the pieces together. Matias was doing everything he could to hold Edith back while Jim was trying to wrangle Calista.

“You’re insane!” Calista screamed.

Edith raged, “What kind of bitch does that!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” I yelled, running to Edith.

“What the fuck is going on?” Wes yelled.

Calista shrugged Jim off her. “That bitch tried to knife me!”

My eyes widened as I turned to face Edith. “For real?”

“Get off me, Matias! Or I’ll stab your ass too,” she threatened.

“Not until you calm the fuck down,” he yelled back.

“Ugh! Fine!” She stopped thrashing. “I’m calm, see? Now let go.” Matias hesitated, but then loosened his grip just as Edith shrugged herself free from his grasp, turning to glare at him.

“Anybody want to tell me what the fuck is going on with my team four days before a mission?” The drill sergeant marched into the gym, making us all turn to face him.

It didn’t take long before Calista was spilling the beans. “That bitch knifed me,” she said as she lifted her arm and pointed out the clean cut on her bicep, a trickle of blood dripping down her porcelain skin.

“Oh come off it,” Edith shot back. “A cut is hardly me knifing you. You’d be dead, Haeflinger.” She lifted a hand, pointing a blade at Blondie that I only just now noticed. “Consider it a friendly warning,” she added with a sneer.

“You’re crazy!”

“Enough!” The drill sergeant marched forward, eyes ablaze. “Do you want to explain to me, Le, why you attacked your teammate?”

Edith grew serious, but she showed no remorse, no regret. “She had it coming, sir.”

“Really?” He said incredulously. “And why is that?”

Edith looked at me, a flicker in her gaze, before she set her sights on Calista. “Calista stuck her nose in other people’s business one too many times at the party. She knows exactly what she did.”

It was all she said. In that instant, I knew Edith saw Calista’s stunt at the gala. Blondie may have tried to make pulling my shawl off look like an accident, but Edith knew better. Edith knew the whole backstory, knew Calista’s wicked nature, and she knew exactly what really happened.

Oh, Edith… She really was my best friend. I was going to miss her.

“Is that right?” the sergeant said, sarcasm lacing his voice. “Well, I don’t give a fuck about what happened at a damn party! You got that, Le? In four days, I need a team that won’t kill each other on the fucking boat before they ever leave the damn dock!”

Oh, he was pissed, and I couldn’t blame him. I’d be angry too. Of course, I would have knifed Calista last night too if given the opportunity. Today, however, was different. Everything was different. Because I needed her help, and it was going to take stuffing my pride as deep as I could to muster the ability to do it.

“You’re grounded, Le.”

“What?” Edith said.

“You’re grounded,” the sergeant repeated. “You’re off the mission.”

I stepped forward this time. “But it’s a six-person job and we don’t have time to replace her.”

“Don’t give me lip today, de la Puente. I’m not in the fucking mood. The mission will do just fine with five and I can’t risk Miss Happy Knife here losing her shit on another teammate during the job.” He turned to face Edith and swiped the dagger from her hand. “You’re grounded. Go back to the bunkhouse, get your shit, and report back to the main office. Go.”

I turned to see Edith, fury in her expression. But just as her eyes caught mine, she gave me a weak smile, mouthed sorry, and walked out of the gym.

“As for the rest of you, the wall! Let’s go!” He yelled before blowing his whistle.

We all groaned as we turned to face the stupid climbing wall again with its stupid bell. And while we climbed, and fell, and climbed, and fell, over and over again, I just kept thinking about what I had to do, dreading the thought that I might never see Edith again.

***

I was jelly. Every limb felt like I could barely move it as I tried to climb into my cot in the bunkhouse. I looked to see Edith’s bed, but of course, she wasn’t there. I made a mental note that I had to make things right between us before I left. I didn’t want to go, to never see her again, leaving things like they were. That would be Tomorrow Me’s problem, though. Tonight, I had bigger fish to fry.

I glanced over at Calista who was stripping her cargos off, leaving on just her bra and underwear, gritting her teeth as she moved her stiff muscles. As she settled into her cot, I decided there was no time like the present, and cleared my throat.

“Hey,” I whispered.

She ignored me.

“Calista,” I tried again.

“What do you want, Telvian?” There was an edge to her voice.

How do you tell your rival that you need their help? I struggled to find the right approach.

“I said what do you want?” she snapped, sitting up and facing me.

The thought of telling her to eff off struck me. But I needed her. And my pride was going to have to take a backseat, whether I liked it or not. Biting my cheek to keep myself from giving her the middle finger, I took a deep breath.

Well, here goes nothing.

“I need your help.” There! It was out.

“What?” she spat as though the word tasted bitter.

“I need your help.”

Calista scoffed, “Eff off,” and then settled back into her bed.

My lips pressed together, stifling a groan. She was going to make this difficult, but I had to get her to help me. I couldn’t see any other way. “Calista, just…just freaking listen to me, okay?”

She ignored me.

“Erg! Just listen. Besides, I think you’re going to like it.”

She was silent for a moment, then she wrestled in her bed before finally sitting up. “Fine. What is it?”

Another heavy sigh. Did I really want to do this? I was trusting her not to out me, but there was a fat chance she might spill the beans the first moment she got. But I had less than three days to make sure all the pieces were in place. Closing my eyes, I made a silent prayer that I was making the right choice, and then spoke.

“I need to ask you a favor. I…I need you to help me run away.”

Calista laughed. She actually laughed at me. “Oh yeah, like you’re actually going to do that. Nice try, de la Puente, but I’m not buying that. If I could be so lucky as to have your ass gone,” she muttered as she laid back down.

“I’m serious, Calista.” And then I told her the truth…well, a truth, just not the truth. I couldn’t risk Charles finding out I had told someone. That would place Wes in danger. So I told her I never wanted to marry Wes. That Matias and I were a couple back in the rebel camp, and that marrying Wes was being forced upon me so that my brother would be saved. I explained that the whole reason for me insisting that I go on the mission was to give me a chance to run away with Jacob at the first opportunity. That I never planned for us to get back on the dinghy. I shared how Sasha threw a kink in my plan when she assigned me to have two bodyguards to watch my every move. And, finally, I shared the only thing that I could think of to finish convincing her.

“If you help me escape with my brother, help us get away, I’ll be gone forever. I can’t risk my brother standing trial or being forced to marry someone I don’t want. I’ll be gone, and then…” I hesitated, because I’d rather chew glass than say the next few words. But she had to help me. I needed her. “And then I won’t be in your way with Wes. He’ll be all yours.”

I felt like clawing my own eyes out, like ripping my skin. But I bit my cheek again, staying focused on the plan. She had to take the bait.

Calista’s eyes bore into mine, and I could tell she was weighing everything out. Her eyes narrowed into slits.

“I swear to God, de la Puente, if this is a setup, I will destroy you. Do you understand? I’ll make you wish you had never been born.”

I nodded, hope rising. “It’s not. I can’t stay in the North, but I can’t escape if you and Jim are watching me like a hawk.”

She mulled it over for a second until she finally nodded. “Fine. I’ll help you.”

Oh thank god!

“Do you have a plan?”

“No, but we have to get my brother first and then we both have to disappear.”

She rubbed her lips together. “It’s a tall order.”

“I know, but I have to try.”

Her eyes bore into mine as a slick smile took over her lips. “It’s a shame, Mara. You probably would have made a good president. You never struck me as a schemer, but then again, I probably should have assumed it was in your blood, given your parents.”

I glared at her, trying my best not to react to her jab. “Are you done?”

“Oh baby, I’m just getting started.”

50: Point (Heart) Break

Securing Calista’s help was one obstacle off my path, but I still had one more thing to do. The following day, we climbed the wall, ran laps, did crunches, burpees, pull-ups, sit-ups—all the crazy things we needed to do. But being only three days out from the mission, the drill sergeant started giving us our evenings back with the promise that on our last day, we would have PTO to decompress before game time.

The whole time we were so busy that Wes and I hardly spoke except for when we were training. He would steal a kiss from me here or there, but I didn’t have the heart to kiss him back. And he sensed it. He sensed my reservation, causing him to raise his brow. And I wanted to, but I knew it would only leave him more confused when the time came for me to break his heart.

I needed Matias. We were given the evening off, and I reluctantly asked Calista to keep Wes busy so I could find Matias. After searching in a few places, I found my target.

“Matias, I need your help.”

He was in the weight room, laying down on a bench press, lifting a bar with several metal disks weighing down either end. He looked at me, pushed up one more time, his face reddening as he groaned, and then slowly brought it back down with a huff, before resting it on racks poised on both sides of him.

Panting, he slowly sat up. “Sure. What about?” I looked around, noticing all the listening ears, before I turned back to face him and arched my brows. He got the hint. “Let’s go for a walk.” He grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat off his face, got up, and ticked his head for me to follow him out of the weight room.

We found a secluded part of the base. And after confirming no one was around, I began. “I need your help.”

He faced me. “All right. What’s going on? What do you need?”

I swallowed hard, knowing that what I was about to say next was going to lead to a lot of confusion and a hell of a lot of questions. “I need to ask you a favor, but I can’t tell you why, and you can’t tell anyone.”

Matias crossed his arms then, brows knitting together in concern. “Well, this doesn’t sound good.” If only he knew. If only he knew just how not good the situation really was. And my expression must have given him a clue, because he dipped his face closer to mine and placed a gentle hand on my arm. “Mara? What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I-I can’t marry Wes.” My chest tightened, my stomach dropping into an endless pit.

“What? But I thought…” His voice trailed off. “What happened?” he asked again.

“I can’t tell you. But I can’t go through with it, and I need your help to tell him.”

“Hold on a second.” He shifted his weight. “I don’t understand.”

“Listen, just…hear me out.” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and then it all came tumbling out. “I can’t marry him. It’s a long story, but I just can’t do it. But he’s never going to just accept me telling him it’s over. He’s going to need an explanation that I just can’t give him.” It was a rush of words, one running into the other. “I need to lie to him, and I need him to believe that lie, and the only thing I can think of telling him is that I’m in love with you.”

“Whoa! Hold up a minute,” Matias said, waving his hands, telling me to slow down. “You want to tell him what?” His cute, boyish face grew serious as he drew closer to me, searching the depths of my eyes. “What’s going on, Mara? Something happened, so what is it?”

“I…” If I told Matias the truth, I risked Charles finding out. And that would place Wes in danger, and I just couldn’t risk that. But how would I convince Matias to do this for me without letting him know at least a little of what was happening?

“Mara?” Matias cupped my face in his hands, gently coaxing me to look at him. “What are you running from? What happened?”

“Nothing. I-I just can’t,” I started muttering, but Matias wasn’t having it.

He brought his face so close to mine, our noses almost touching as his soulful eyes dug into the depths of me. “I know you. I know when you’re running—when you’re hiding from something. Let me help you. Tell me what’s going on?”

I felt it then…the tears building in my eyes. I wanted to tell him. I needed to tell someone. I couldn’t contain this on my own. I knew what I was going to do was going to tear me apart. I needed someone who could help put me back together. Closing my eyes, I fought back the tears while Matias waited patiently. My breathing slowed.

Then, I told him everything.

I told him how Charles threatened my brother, how he threatened Wes. How he was using me to control him, to keep Wes under his thumb. I explained how I couldn’t do that, that I refused to be used as a weapon against Wes. And I refused to bring my brother back to the North, only to end up executed anyway—or worse, held captive for the rest of his life to keep me in check. I couldn’t do that to Jacob. I couldn’t free him from the chains of one dictator and place him in the clutches of another.

Because that’s what Charles was. He was just another dictator, another ruthless man driven mad by power. Another leader who would destroy his own family just to gain more control. It left me with only one option.

Run.

I had to run, to escape into the night, never looking back.

If I was gone…

If Wes thought I didn’t love him…

He wouldn’t come after me. He would let me go and find happiness again.

Charles couldn’t use me against him then, and he couldn’t use my brother against me either. We could all be free.

Matias ran his fingers through his hair. “Mara, this is insane. I can’t…I can’t help you do this.”

“Do you see another option?” I could hear the desperate plea in my voice. “Do you see another way out of this mess? Because if you do, I’d love to hear it.”

Matias chewed the inside of his cheek, his eyes drifting from one thing to another as he desperately racked his brain for alternatives. But in the end, he just shook his head.

“I didn’t think so.”

We both drew quiet, feeling the weight of the distasteful choices in front of us. He sighed heavily, the sound of a man accepting his fate.

“This is going to break him.”

My heart cracked, but it held together. “I know.”

Matias ran a hand through his hair again. “When?”

“Tomorrow.” I hated the thought of dumping this on Wes before the mission, but I was out of time, out of options.

Matias nodded. “Okay.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, and then I was in his arms, breathing the evergreen and citrus smell of him as he folded his arms around me, resting his head on my own.

“I’m going to miss you.”

A lump formed in my throat. I knew my days with my friends were numbered, but I hadn’t taken the time to really think about it. To really consider the fact that, after tomorrow, I would never see them again. Tears filled my eyes as I shoved down a sob. “I’m going to miss you, too. I’m going to miss all of you.”

Matias pulled me back and wiped my tears. “We’ll find each other again. When this is all over, okay? We’ll find each other.”

I nodded, allowing myself the hope. But I wasn’t stupid. War was coming, and there was no telling who would live and would die. All I could hope for was that we’d all live to see the end. But nothing was guaranteed.

But I didn’t tell him that.

I let Matias live in the fantasy that we would meet again. I let myself play in that future, too. That was the only way I was going to survive the next twenty-four hours. Because in twenty-four hours, I was going to destroy my own heart.

51: For Wes

The day before the mission, we were still unsuccessful at ringing that stupid bell. But we were finally allowed PTO, and I couldn’t help but feel that our lack of success in training was the first ominous sign of things to come. The first thing I did that morning was message Edith.

Me: Hey, how’ve you been?

Edith: Grateful I’m not climbing that effing wall for the bagillionth time.

Me: Yeah, that thing’s rough.

A few minutes passed without a response, and my finger hesitated over my tab, unsure of how to tell her I was sorry, and that I was going to miss her. But it binged, and I finally saw a reply from her.

Edith: Mara, I’m sorry about getting into a fight with you about Wes. It’s not my business, and now I’m just pissed that I won’t get to see you before tomorrow.

A lump formed in my throat, and I worked hard to choke it down. She was worried that I might not make it back. If only she knew this was truly the end.

Mara: No, Edith, I’m sorry. You were totally right to be upset with me. I’ve been a jerk friend, and I should have been better about it.

Edith: Are you kidding? I don’t envy the mess you’re in. And I should have been more understanding of everything. And I’m sorry that freaking Calista pulled that shit at the gala. That was not cool! I told you that you had to stay away from her.

Mara: So is that what the whole “knifing” business was about? What even happened?

Edith: Yes and no. She and I have had bad blood for a long time. The shit she pulled at the gala was just the cherry on top of a very big sundae. So I called her out. There were some choice words, and then I decided it was time someone put her in her place. I don’t regret it one bit. But I do feel bad that I won’t be there for you this time. In that sense, I do regret getting kicked off the mission.

My chest tightened just a little, the lump threatening all over again. Because Edith had to be the most loyal friend a person could ever ask for. And I was truly going to miss her.

Mara: You know what, I’m happy that I’ll be able to leave tomorrow knowing you’re safe. It’ll make it easier. Honestly.

I hesitated, not knowing how to tell her what I wanted without tipping her off. I mulled over a few options and decided the vaguer the better.

Mara: I’m just going to miss you.

Edith: Don’t get all sappy on me, newbie. You’re going to go, you’re going to kick major ass, and you’re going to bring that sexy thang of a brother back home. And I’ll be the first one to see you when you get back. Who knows, I might even kiss your sorry ass!

I laughed at that one. Because Edith would totally do it too.

Bing!

Another message came in, and my stomach dropped when I saw who it was from. I was out of time. I flicked the message away and responded to Edith.

Mara: Bye, my friend.

Edith: See ya, girly! Enjoy your PTO.

And that was the end of it. The only shitty goodbye I was going to get with my absolute best friend. I was about to face the hardest moment of my life; I wasn’t even going to be able to confide in her about it. And this time, when the lump formed in my throat and the tears threatened to fall, I let them. I let the emotions consume me whole because this…this sucked.

***

I let myself cry for a good hour, and I avoided the messages that kept coming because they were all from Wes. Of course, why wouldn’t they be? This was our last day before going on this craptastic mission to rescue my brother. And there was no guarantee we were going to make it back alive. What couple wouldn’t want to spend those last moments together?

I wanted them. I wanted them so badly.

I wanted to kiss him, to feel myself wrapped up in his arms, to feel his skin against my own. And I was tempted to do it too, but how effed up would that be? To experience a wave of desire with him, only to turn around and break him? It wasn’t right. It’s what I wanted, but it would have been the most selfish thing for me to do.

No, I couldn’t do that.

The less time I spent leading him on, the better it would be for him in the long run. And that meant that the sooner I did this, the more time he had to process it and get his head back in the game. So I messaged Matias and Calista, telling them I was ready.

It was time.

I was going to do the dirty work. It had to be me. But I wanted to make sure Matias was there—somewhere—in case things went sideways. And if all else failed, I knew I could count on Calista to finish convincing Wes. Because in what world would Calista help me? Only in this one. So we coordinated to meet up near the training arena. Matias and Calista would hang out in the background, near enough where they could step in if I needed them.

And I had a pretty strong suspicion I was going to need them.

Because if there was one thing I knew about Wes, it’s that he never went down without a fight. And I was terrified that if he fought back on me—or worse, begged me to stay with him—I was going to cave. I was going to tell him it was all one big fat lie and that I would never think about leaving him.

But this was for his own good…his own sanity. Or he would spend the rest of his miserable life as a puppet for his father. And I just couldn’t do that to him. So when the time came, I left my bunkhouse and made my way to the training arena, all the while finally replying to Wes’s messages.

Mara: Hey, sorry I haven’t been responding. I was catching up with Edith.

Only a minute ticked by before he was messaging me back.

Wes: Everything okay?

Mara: Yeah. Just girl stuff. Can we talk?

Wes: I was hoping for a little more than just talking…

My cheeks flushed with heat. I knew exactly what he wanted, and in any other world, I would have been all over that like white on rice. But not today…

Mara: Meet me at the training arena?

Wes: I’ll be there in 10.

The moment I saw his response, I thought I was going to be sick. My stomach churned in the most ridiculous way, and I thought for sure I was going to vomit stomach acid. But I kept taking fruitless deep breaths as I walked to the arena. As I rounded a corner of a building across the way, I saw him. He was leaning against the wall, wearing his regulatory cargo pants and t-shirt. Legs stretched out and crossed at his ankles. His arms were crossed, accentuating the ripples of his biceps, which were more swollen than usual because of our intense training. Wes stared off into the distance away from me, the light catching the blond of his long hair. And he looked at peace. It was a rare day when Wes didn’t look pissed off at the world. Serene was a new one for me. And it saddened me to know that I was going to steal it away from him.

Before I dared to get any closer, I scanned around to see if I saw Matias and Calista, and was relieved when I noticed them several yards away from Wes, pretending to be busy talking.

Just breathe, Mara. Breathe.

I inhaled deeply, trying to settle my nerves. But it was of no use. My stomach felt like an endless pit of despair, and my heart pounded as though it was going to break through my chest, splintering my ribs, and destroy itself in the process. And when I thought there was no way I could go through with it—no way I had the stomach to handle it—Wes turned and looked at me. At that moment, I knew there was no turning back. Because I had to…

For Wes.

52: Shattered

Itook determined steps, steeling myself for what was to come. And when I was only a few feet away from him, Wes lazily pushed himself off the wall and sauntered towards me.

“Hey,” I said, my voice sounding a touch too high pitched. I had been dreading this moment for days, spending sleepless nights trying to figure out the perfect wording. But when it came to how I should begin, I always came up short.

“That’s the best you’ve got for me?” he asked with a sly smile. “No, hey sexy, or hey handsome? Or maybe, hey glorious one?”

Oh my god, he was actually being playful. Wes was never playful.

Moody? Yes.

Irritable as all hell? Absolutely.

Sweet and soft? When he wanted to be.

But playful? That was a hard no.

And yet, here he was. And that made it so much harder.

“Sorry,” I muttered, wringing my hands together. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

Wes reached out and took a strand of my hair, stepping closer. He twirled it around his finger, eliminating the space between us. He slid his hand around the back of my neck, diving his fingers into my hair as he whispered, “Any way I can help?”

I just couldn’t take it. I couldn’t do this with him like this. I had to end it now.

I stepped back away from him, placing several feet between us, catching him off guard. Wes’s eyes filled with concern as his brows drew together, and a frown consumed his beautiful lips.

“Mara? What’s wrong? What—”

“I can’t marry you.” The words tumbled out of me, causing my chest to ache as though my lungs had just collapsed. I had to do this. I had to!

He stiffened, taken aback. “What?”

“I’ve been wanting to tell you, but I just didn’t know how. But—” I hesitated again, feeling my throat closing up. I pushed through it. “I can’t marry you.”

Wes’s eyes searched mine, pain smearing across his face. “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”

I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t stare into those golden hues and lie to him. I backed away, placing more distance between us. “I can’t marry you, Wes,” I repeated. “I-I’m in love with Matias.” I purposefully looked away, not wanting to see the hurt I knew I was causing him.

Silence filled the space for two heartbeats before Wes grabbed my arm and forced me to face him. “I don’t believe you. Why are you doing this? What aren’t you telling me?” he insisted, anguish and desperation lacing his voice.

I tried pulling away from him, but he gripped my arm tighter. “I am telling you, but you’re just refusing to listen. I don’t love you, Wes. I’ve never loved you.” I watched as the words reverberated within him—a kaleidoscope of emotions taking their turn across the planes of his face.

“I don’t believe you,” he repeated again. But I heard it. I heard the doubt seeping in.

“Matias!” I called. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do this to him. But I had to. I had to break him.

“Don’t call for him,” Wes spat out, taking a forceful step towards me and yanking me closer. I stumbled forward, wrapped once more in the intoxicating essence that was Wes.

The awakening scent of eucalyptus opening my lungs…

The familiar heat that was his chaotic and masculine energy…

And the sculptured strength of a body I wanted nothing more than to surrender myself to…

I wanted him. I wanted Wes. And that want strung the gossamer thread of my resolve too tightly, threatening to snap…

But it was too late.

Matias ran to us, Blondie hot on his heels. Within a few seconds, Matias forced himself between us, shoving Wes back hard.

The furrow of Wes’s brows deepened, anger spreading its wings across his face as he rolled his shoulders back. “Don’t you fucking touch me,” he growled at Matias.

But Matias rose to the challenge, bringing himself up to his full height, face twisted in a scowl as he got right in Wes’s face. “Can’t you fucking hear her, bro? She’s done with you. Touch her again, and it’ll be you and me, Wes. You and me.” I pulled on the back of Matias’s shirt, and he stepped away from Wes, putting distance between them.

Wes breathed heavily, and I could see the wheels spinning in his head. He turned his gaze back to me. “Mara,” the word left his lips with so much hurt, so much despair, that I wanted to pull him into me and hold him. To tell him the truth…

But this was for his own good.

“Please,” he begged. He was actually begging me, and that tore me to shreds. “Don’t do this to me.”

My lips parted, my heart breaking in two. I swallowed as I stepped in front of Matias. “I—I wanted to love you. I prayed to the universe to help me feel something—anything—for you. But I…I don’t.”

“The gala,” he uttered. And his pain…so much pain. “After the gala—”

No, no, no, no. I couldn’t afford to remember that night. I spun on Calista. “Tell him what you saw that night,” I ordered, my voice shrill. “Tell him!”

Blondie looked at me, taken aback by my frantic nature. She arched a brow before she faced Wes, hesitating only for a moment before finally letting him have it. “I saw them kissing on the balcony…right before you asked her to marry you.”

I looked back at Wes and witnessed the color drain from his face. “But after…” he repeated, the words hardly a whisper as they escaped him.

He didn’t want to believe the lie I was trying so hard to get him to accept as truth. But he had to. I needed to stamp out any hope he carried in his heart. He couldn’t know just how much I truly loved him. It was going to kill me, and I knew I was going to rot in hell one day for what I did next. But it was the only other thing I could think of. The only thing I knew would seal the deal and hammer the final nail into the coffin of Wes’s heart.

“I know how it all felt.” I swallowed, searching for strength. “But whenever I look at you, I only see Chase.” Wes froze, his entire body going rigid. I pushed further, finding the wounded nerve and striking it hard. “I only see him, Wes. I only feel him when you touch me. And I-I imagine him when you kiss me. I don’t see you. And that’s not fair to you.”

That did it. I watched as the sting filled his eyes, consuming the tortured expressions on his face. And my heart broke. I felt it crack and shatter into a million pieces within me.

Wes closed his eyes, turning his face away from me as he breathed heavily, deeply. I wanted to touch him. To cup his cheeks and kiss the pain away. But I stood my ground. I stood my ground as Wes rode the waves of sorrow and agony until finally his breathing steadied.

Slowly, he raised his head, and I watched as the stoic mask—the mask I hated with the depths of my soul—came crashing down into place. As the walls I had worked so tirelessly to break down rose, encasing Wes in his own emotional prison.

I could barely breathe, my lungs desperate for renewed breath. With trembling fingers, I pulled the ring from my finger, feeling the weight of my hope-filled fairytale, and held it out to him. “Here. This belongs to you.”

Wes’s stony gaze flickered to the circlet, but he made no move to take it. “Keep it,” he said dryly, all expression gone from his face. “I’m never going to need it.”

“I’m so sorry—”

“Save it, Mara.” His voice cracked like a whip. “Tell that to him when you break his heart next.” The words came out icy, with a bite that felt like a sucker punch to my gut, stealing my breath. I didn’t say anything. He had every right to be angry, to be hurt.

Wes took one step back, then another, until he turned and walked away from me, leaving a wretched feeling of utter hate in myself for what I had done to him. But it was to save him in the end. He would just never know it.

“I got to hand it to you, Telvian,” Calista said, “you sure know how to break a heart.” I couldn’t even muster looking at her. I just watched as Wes walked away, never turning back to look at me, until he was out of sight.

“He’ll be okay, Mara.” Matias placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“No, he won’t,” I replied, feeling the tears as they slowly slid down the curves of my cheeks. I knew with all my heart that I was right. Because I took a broken boy, pieced him back together, only to shatter him all over again. And I would carry the guilt of what I had done forever with me. I would carry it for the rest of my life.

53: Goodbye

Icouldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. All I did that night was think of Wes. I thought of the crushing blow I delivered, of the pain chiseled on his handsome face. I saw the hazel of his eyes burn like the fire of a thousand suns, and then watched that fire go out. I didn’t distract myself. I didn’t try to hide from the pain. I embraced it. I let it consume me.

Because I deserved it.

I deserved to feel every bit of the turmoil inside me. It was my penance, and it would never be enough to make up for what I did to him. The only thing that gave me solace was that Wes would be safe. Charles couldn’t control him as long as I remained out of the picture. And that was worth it to me.

The following morning, I ate breakfast with Calista—of all people—who was reviewing the shittiest plan ever invented. Once we had Jacob, Matias was going to do his best to separate us from Jim and Wes, while Calista was going to help us find some way off the damn peninsula. She wasn’t going to stick around for long, though. Her job was mostly to help Jacob and I get out of the tower and on our way. The rest would be up to me and my brother to escape. And I had no freaking clue how we were going to do that.

But we had to try.

At some point in the day, Matias touched base with us, checking on the plan and making sure we were ready. I nodded, but the truth was, I didn’t think I would ever be ready for something like this. Then, he and Calista opted for a nap since we had a seven-hour flight ahead of us to the West Coast that evening, and our actual mission was going to be a night ops. I knew getting some sleep was probably a good idea, especially since I hadn’t slept at all the night before. But I just couldn’t. Whenever I closed my eyes, I only saw Wes. And it was a stab to my heart every time.

***

We left that evening at four and rode the seven hours in silence. Jim slept. Calista disassembled and reassembled her gun a thousand times. Wes stayed away from everyone, placing himself in the furthest corner of the plane he could. Matias sat next to me on the flight, trying to keep my spirits up. It was a sweet gesture, and I knew it came from a good place, but it felt so wrong. Because every time I got the courage to look at Wes, I would catch him glancing at us, hurt lingering in his eyes before his features would harden, slamming his mask back into place.

As we came toward the end of the flight, I decided I wanted to talk to him. Even if it was only to review the mission parameters. We were co-leaders after all, and I really didn’t want our last conversation to be our break-up. Getting the courage, I stepped up from my seat and walked back to Wes.

“Hey,” I whispered as I approached him. He didn’t move a muscle, not even to look at me. “I thought maybe we could review everything one more time before we land?”

He stayed silent for a moment, working his jaw, before finally turning to face me. And it was frigid. “What’s there to review? The plan’s the same. It hasn’t changed.” And then he looked away from me again.

I worried my bottom lip. “I know it hasn’t changed, but I thought maybe—”

“Listen, Mara,” he cut me off, looking at me again with eyes as cold as glaciers. “It’s the same fucked up plan we’ve had since day one. We land, board the boat, jump on the dinghy, ride it to the cove, and then climb two hundred and fifty feet. We cut through the wire fence, and then figure out where your brother is. Once we have him, we go back the way we came. Got it? Is that enough of a review for you?” His tone was acidic.

I closed my eyes as I swallowed, trying to absorb the cold he was sending my way. “Yeah, I get it,” I whispered.

“Good.” He turned and looked away from me again.

Oh god, please… I couldn’t leave it this way. Not when I knew we would never see each other again. Mustering as much courage as I could, I tried one last time.

“Wes, I just want to—”

“I don’t want to hear it, Mara.” He continued to look out the window, the bitterness strong in his tone.

“I know, and I’m not here to give you any excuses.” I was pleading. I could hear it in my voice. “I just want you to know that I care a lot about you, and—”

He laughed. He actually laughed. And it was the most sardonic, pained sound I had ever heard. “You care about me? That’s…that’s something right there. That’s a load of bull.”

“Wes, please—”

He whipped around to face me. “No, Mara. Don’t please me. You had me going there. You really did. But I guess I should have figured that a Telvian would have been an excellent actress.”

Oof…that hurt.

“You know what the worst part is? I actually thought that you were choosing me. I actually thought that, after everything we’d been through, maybe…maybe you were choosing me. And not because of some political move Sasha was putting on you, but because you actually lo—” He halted, the word hanging in the air. And I knew exactly what he was going to say.

Because you loved me.

If only he knew how much I really did love him. And it was only at that moment that I realized I had never told him. I had never said the words I love you. And now, he would never know. The realization struck me like a fifty-pound weight, stealing my breath away.

“Wes, I’m—” He held up a hand.

“Stop. Just…just let it be.” He paused for a second, rubbing his face. “It’s my fault anyway. I should have known better.”

“Wes, please. It’s not—”

He just spoke right over me, never letting me finish. “It’s fine, Mara,” he said as he got up from his seat. “It’s fine. I should have known that…” He hesitated. “That you were never meant for me.”

My breath hitched in my throat, feeling as though I was going to suffocate. I wanted to scream, to yell that I was! That I was his and to please take me back. But I held my breath, biting my tongue.

Wes sighed a long mournful breath, leaving him looking defeated, before he glanced up at me. And I swore I could see his eyes glimmer with unshed tears in the low light of the plane. “I…I’m not ready to not be angry about this, but…” He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find the words. “But I just want you to be happy. Even if that happiness isn’t with me.”

My already broken heart was shattered once again. Because Wes would rather sacrifice his own joy to make sure I found mine. And I…I didn’t know how to handle that. All I knew was that I didn’t deserve him.

Wes stepped past me, gave me one last long look, and then said, “Goodbye, Mara.” And I knew what he meant. He wasn’t saying goodbye to me physically…we were in a goddamn plane. He was saying goodbye to us, to our short-lived romance that I had strangled in my attempts to save him. And it was the best I was going to get.

“Goodbye, Wes.”

I watched as he walked toward the front of the plane, a piece of my soul going with him as he left me behind. Wes wasn’t mine anymore, and that knowledge broke me all over again. But I would always be his, even if he didn’t know it.

Always.

54: Go Time

Being shrouded in darkness was good. It helped to hide the pain and fear that I knew was on full display across my face. I spent the boat ride hunkered down in a corner, feeling the sea toss us like a kid with his hacky sack. It was cold in the middle of the night on the ocean, and no matter how tight I hugged my knees, the crisp air cut through my layers of clothing and gear. The tart smell of salt was new, and the ocean spray found me in my corner, dampening my face.

In the past, I would have been excited to see the ocean. Matias had told me about it months ago, but in the middle of the night, you couldn’t see anything. And it didn’t matter, because I was doing everything I could to keep myself together, to keep my head in the game. So I took the boat ride as my opportunity to shove my hurt and grief as far down as I could and lock it up. I crouched down in a corner, burying my face in my arms as I kept my focus on Jacob, on saving my brother. And when the time came, Matias tapped me on the shoulder and helped me to my feet as the boat rocked and swayed. Ready or not, it was time.

“Okay, listen up,” Wes began. “This is as far as we go. We’re going to load up on the dinghy, and we’ll make the rest of our way in. Stay hunkered in the raft until we reach the cove. The sea is not our friend tonight, and I don’t need anyone falling out. Once we reach the cove, we’ll begin our ascent. Move as quickly and as quietly as you can. Whoever reaches the top first, use your wire cutters and get a hole in that fence ASAP. Once everyone reaches the top, we move as a team. The schematics of the building show an old service entrance that is no longer in use. That’s our access. Once inside, we need to move up to level five to Cellblock C. That’s where de la Puente is being held. That’s our target. Once we’ve got him, we leave exactly the way we came. Any questions?”

“What about security?” Jim asked.

“According to the security schedule, the tower is the least armed at this time, with primary security details being placed at the choke point at the other end of the peninsula. Use stunners as much as possible, and make sure all weapons are equipped with silencers.”

We all stayed quiet, a few nodding in understanding.

“All right,” Wes said. “It’s go time.”

We all moved, checking weapons, making sure our tactical vests and belts were on snuggly, and securing our ropes and climbing gear. Jim, Wes, and Matias carried extra backpacks with additional supplies, including tear gas, grenades, and extra ammo. Then, one by one, we filed out to the back of the boat where a measly raft waited for us. The boat rose and fell with the motion of the sea, threatening to throw us all off balance.

One by one, we loaded up. I watched as the deep blue waters swirled and splashed, white caps foaming and threatening. All I could think about was if I fell in, I would sink right to the bottom and drown. Never mind the fact that I couldn’t swim…the sheer amount of weight I was carrying would drag my ass down to a watery grave. And that thought had me hunkering down in the measly dinghy to make sure I didn’t get tossed out into the abyss.

“Night vision on,” Wes announced.

We all slipped our night vision goggles on. I was fully expecting a world tinted in harsh green, but apparently the North had more advanced tech. Though the world around me looked grayer than usual, I saw it clearly, as though it were cast in the early hues of dawn. Jim took up the rear, turned the motor over, and we were off, consumed by the night. I saw the shoreline off in the distance, with glittering lights that soared into the sky.

Bellfire Tower.

It took us a good fifteen minutes to get close enough that when I finally understood what I was looking at, my jaw dropped. When Giza said that jagged rocks surrounded the peninsula, he wasn’t kidding. The black spires rose from the ocean depths like spears that threatened to impale you should the ocean reject your soul. Water crashed into each one, a thundering noise that consumed the purr of our motor. The roar of the ocean deafened our ears as the waves rose, lifting us seven feet into the air, and then dropping us back down, causing my heart to sink as I closed my eyes, gripping the sides of the dinghy as best as I could.

“We’re never going to make it!” Calista yelled, but I could barely hear her over the crash of the waves. “We’re going to capsize!”

“What does that mean?” I screamed at Matias, who was hunkered down next to me. “What’s she saying?”

“We’re going to fucking sink!” he shot back, trying to be heard over the sound of the waves crashing down. “That’s what she’s saying! We’re too small for these waves.”

“Hang on everybody!” Jim yelled from the back. “I’m going to give her more speed! We’ve got to get past the surf zone!”

Wes pointed out to the left of the peninsula. “Go left! The cove is to the left and the water eases up…maybe thirty more feet.”

The raft surged high into the air again, tilting sharply to the right and leaning heavily on its left side.

“Shit! We’re going to flip!” Calista screamed.

Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod! I was going to die, right here, right now. It was all going to be over, and the girl who came from a country that feared drought was going to die by drowning. Go. Fucking. Figure.

“Lean to the right!” Wes yelled as he threw his weight onto the right of the dingy. “Push!”

Matias lifted off the ground and threw his body next to Wes as Calista did the same. Doing the best I could to swallow my fear, I followed suit, feeling the boat teetering on the edge of flipping over completely before another wave rose on the left, crashing into the boat and sending us flying back down.

The water tasted salty as I gasped for air. My vision covered in ripples of water, I quickly wiped my lenses as the blistering wind ripped through the night. Every part of me was wet, adding to my freeze as I sat in a puddle of water about an inch deep in the raft.

“That was bad, Wes,” Matias griped. “That was really fucking bad!”

Wes ignored him. “More power, Jim! Get us the hell out of here!”

Calista looked like a wet dog as she clung to the floor of the dinghy, and I’m sure I didn’t look any better. I closed my eyes, praying to whatever gods existed up in the heavens to help us reach the shore. I was open to dying by knife wound, gunshot, or even being burned alive, but the thought of drowning sent the biggest shiver up my spine. My worst nightmare.

Please, god. Not like this. Not like this!

I felt as the boat surged again, nose tipping forward, the motor rising higher and higher into the air.

“Shit! Not again!” Calista yelled. But no sooner after the words left her mouth, the wave we were riding came crashing down and surged us forward, spitting us out into calmer waters at last.

“Oh my god,” I breathed out as I flopped onto my back. The amount of gratitude I felt at that moment was greater than anything I had ever experienced before.

The boat still rose and fell as gentler waves continued to propel us forward to the shoreline, but nothing like the crashing swells that tossed us like leaves in a hurricane. As we got closer, Jim killed the motor and lifted the prop to keep it from dragging along the ocean floor. Wes and Matias grabbed paddles that were attached to the raft on either side and began digging into the water, continuing our momentum forward until Jim finally jumped out and began pushing the raft from behind while Matias and Wes leaped out and pulled the dinghy from the front. I felt as the boat met pebbled sand, and we were pulled the rest of the way onto land.

It took everything within me to keep from leaping out of the boat and kissing the ground. Why Matias ever wanted to show me the sea, I’ll never know. But I was good with never stepping foot in it, or around it, ever again!

Blondie leaped out, looking just as harrowed as I felt. “You’re freaking crazy if you think we’re going to get past that surf zone again.”

Wes looked at his tab and began typing. “That’s our way out, Calista, so I’d get used to it.”

“Did you not just see what happened? We’re lucky we didn’t flip over!”

Wes faced her, all hard lines and looks that could kill. “Are we going to have a problem?” It was a simple question. But one that effectively said, stand down and get your ass back in line.

Calista cracked her neck. “No,” she sneered.

“Good. We’ll leave the raft here. We’ve got a small hike to the cliffs and then we need to begin our ascent. Jim?”

Harper gave a wave as he fiddled with a rope attached to the raft. “We’re good. She’s not going anywhere.”

“Perfect. Let’s move out.”

I took a deep breath as I tried to calm my nerves. I prayed that the worst was over. That the rest would be easier. But I was wrong. I just didn’t realize how bad it was all going to get.

55: Clink and Snap!

The climb was anything but easy. Our original plan was to approach the tower from the west, but the waves were too intense. There was no way we were ever going to get up that side. The peninsula jutted out into the sea, however, and curved slightly to the south. That meant there was a little spot that was mostly shielded from the constant onslaught of angry surf, and that’s where we made our climb.

We were supposed to be set up in pairs, but with Edith gone, we split into two and three. Jim and Calista, being my watchdogs, were paired with me while Matias and Wes formed a separate rope team. Jim led as Blondie and I climbed behind him, a safety rope attached to the three of us so that if one of us should fall, the other two would help keep us from dropping to our death.

As much as I hated to admit it, I was so grateful for that stupid climbing wall in the training arena. I appreciated every single pull-up, push-up, bench press, and arm curl I did over the last several weeks, because I knew at that moment that the hell games were saving my ass. The 250-foot vertical climb consisted of sharp rocks that, had it not been for our reinforced climbing gloves, would have torn through the flesh of our hands. The only good thing was that the jagged wall had plenty of holes and crevices, giving us perfect anchor points to secure our ropes, as well as plenty of grooves that allowed for a secure foothold.

We took our time, always making sure that the piece of rock we were grabbing wouldn’t crumble under our weight before letting go of one secure footing to another. The ocean continued to pound the other side of the wall, and frequently I felt the sea spray hit my face, causing my lenses to blur with drips of ocean water, but I didn’t dare let go. I didn’t dare release my hold to wipe them clean. I just dealt with it, pushing forward to reach the top in one piece.

After what felt like a lifetime of climbing, I saw the top edge of the cliff. My heart leaped at the sight, and I quickly let out a slow breath, steadying myself as I reached for my next hold. My fingers searched for purchase, wrapping around another jagged edge of rock. I tested it, pulling on it vigorously to make sure it wouldn’t give under my weight. When it held strong, I used all the strength in my tiring arms to pull me up as my right foot searched for a crevice to dig itself into.

“We’re almost there. Hold!” Jim shouted down to Calista and me. I gave him a quick nod that I wasn’t sure if he could even see. We waited for Jim to give us the green light. I watched as Jim pulled out one of our three anchors—the three measly pieces of metal that would keep us from certain death if all three of us should fall. He stretched it out as high as he could and secured it to the rock face. Then, he did the same with the second, before moving to shift the third. Stretching, he stuck the anchor in its spot. He looked down to face us and gave a thumbs-up.

With another sigh, I pulled out my anchor and shifted it upward, shoving it into another crevice in the rock. Then I began climbing again. I looked up to find my next handhold, casting a glance up at Jim, who was several feet above me. He reached out his right arm at a diagonal, stretching for a small piece of jutting out rock. It was just out of reach, his fingertips just missing it. I watched him lean more, his fingers skimming the rock, still too far for a firm grasp.

Don’t do it, Jim.

Adrenaline pumped through me as I watched Jim lean over even further, arm stretched out as far as he could. Jim’s fingertips hooked on to the edge of the rock, but it wasn’t enough. I swallowed a silent scream as his right foot slipped out of its hole, sending his body tumbling to the right. Without a decent grasp of the rock he was stretching for, Jim came falling down.

“Jim!” Calista screamed.

His body hit a rock, whipping him into the air, and I watched in slow motion as his body came down to collide with mine. Instinctually, I closed my eyes, digging my fingers into the rock as best as I could to prepare for the blow.

But it never came.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw Jim dangling only a foot above my head, his safety anchor supporting the weight of his massive frame. Oh shit.

“Mara! Are you okay?” Matias called.

My breaths were coming in rapid succession as fear toiled within me. I wanted to wipe my brow, to wipe the sweat and water crawling on my skin. But I didn’t dare.

“I’m okay!” I looked back up at Jim as he shifted slowly in his harness.

“Jim,” Calista yelled, “are you okay?”

Jim groaned. “Ugh…yeah. I’m okay.”

I breathed out a sigh of relief, thanking the universe. Jim wrestled again in his harness, pulling himself upright as he searched for holds. I heard it before I saw it—the clink and snap. The clangor of an anchor snapping out of place, flying through the air. And then Jim was falling once again, hitting me. This time, I did scream as my fingers lost their grip and I fell backwards. I dropped six feet before my body snapped, my own safety anchor catching my weight as my body slammed against the jagged rock face.

“Mara!” someone screamed as somebody else yelled, “Harper!”

My face hit the rock, scratching one of my lenses as the rock face tore at the flesh of my cheek. “Shit!” I hissed.

My left hand wrapped around the rope attached to my harness while my other hand reached out to steady my swinging. I looked up to see Jim, trying to find a foothold in the rock. His personal anchor had failed, but the other three back-up anchors had just saved his ass.

“Are you guys okay?” Blondie asked.

“Mara? Jim? You all right?” It was Wes this time. I shot my hand out in a thumbs-up, and then quickly worked to get my hands and feet back into a hole in the rock. I hoped that the sound of the crashing waves drowned out my scream, or we were going to have an arrival party ready to greet us at the top. I gripped the wall, feeling the burn and sting on my face as I finally found my footing. With a deep, slow breath, I steadied my heart and looked up at Jim. It looked like he was back in the game, feet firmly planted as he replanted his safety anchor.

“Jim? You good?” I called up to him.

“Yeah. Nothing like a little adrenaline to get the heart pumpin’, eh?”

Perhaps finding yourself constantly in life-or-death situations had a funny way of making you laugh in the face of danger, because that’s exactly what I did. I laughed.

“de la Puente, you going nuts or what?” Harper called down to me.

I chuckled again. “I’m just thinking of how effing crazy a person has to be to volunteer for shit like this on purpose.”

“That makes one of us, Mara. My ass got told to be here, but I get what you mean.” I may not have been able to see his face, but I could hear the humor in it. Because seriously, what else were you going to do? We were at least 200 feet from the sea, relying on some rope and metal to keep us from dying a horrible death. You could laugh or you could cry, and crying wasn’t going to work with my goggles. So laugh it was.

And laugh I did. That is…until the laughter got ripped right out of me.

56: F28

Matias leaned over the cliff, took my forearm, and pulled me up over the edge. Once I was up, he drew me into a quick embrace.

“I’m so happy you’re okay.” It was quick, just a whisper in my ear. I gave him a weak smile, my heart still racing from the exhilaration of it all as I took solace in his warmth. My eyes shifted, and then I saw Wes. He’d already taken off his goggles, revealing a frown and pained expression. I hastily pulled away from Matias, clearing my throat as Wes gave me his back.

I blew out a breath as I peeled my goggles off and took in the Bellfire Tower. It was a massive, concrete structure, easily ten stories high. A tall cylinder with a gigantic light at the very top that glowed yellow and orange, like a colossal torch burning in the night, and suddenly I understood why it was called the Bellfire Tower.

For as big as the building was, it had few windows, but huge flood lights lit the surrounding grounds like a prison yard, which made total sense given that it was, in fact, a prison. A chain-link fence encased the entire property, rising twelve feet from the ground with a nasty coil of razor wire at the top, effectively keeping unwanted visitors out and unruly inmates in. Thankfully, whoever designed the place didn’t think to light up the measly patch of dirt on the ocean-side of the fence, leaving us under the cover of darkness. We still had to hurry. There was nothing to hide behind, and despite the darkness, we were still sitting ducks. Jim pulled out his wire cutters and began snipping the links in the fence one by one, while Wes looked at his tab and began tapping the screen.

“Target’s located in Cellblock C on the fifth floor,” Wes reminded us. “The service entrance we need is on the west side of the tower. As soon as Harper’s finished cutting this open, we need to hustle across the yard to the building. From there, we’re heading west to service entrance F28. Once inside, we’ll use the stairs to get up to the fifth floor. Stay low and stay quiet. Minimize verbal communication.”

I watched as Wes gave off his orders, watched the serious lines of his face, the fluctuations of his lips, and the molten gold of his hazel eyes. I wanted so badly to kiss him. Just one last kiss before we ran into this nightmare, before I disappeared forever. But I shook my head, pushing the desire to hold him one last time deep within me. And then I nodded as Wes gave his final orders.

“We’re in,” Jim said, pulling back the fencing to create a hole. He slipped through it.

“Move out,” Wes whispered, and then ducked through after Jim.

Matias went next, and then I turned to face Blondie who simply raised a manicured brow and said, “After you, Telvian.”

With a deep breath, I unclipped my stunner on my hip, raised the weapon, and slipped through the chain-link. Keeping my knees bent and stunner ready, I hustled across the exposed yard, catching up to the others. All three men were lined up, backs pressed against the wall, staying in the shadows as much as possible. I came up next to Matias, who looked at me and winked, effectively placing another smile on my face.

Once Blondie joined us, Wes took the lead, followed by Matias, Jim, myself, and Calista. We took careful, rushed steps, following the wall as it curved along, passing several doors as we went.

F50…

F49…

F48…

How insanely big was this building? How many service entrances did a damn prison need?

F41…

F40…

F39…

F38…

“Jesus,” I heard Blondie mutter under her breath. I didn’t blame her. We were damn lucky that we hadn’t run into a guard yet. And every second that passed was an increased risk that we were going to find ourselves some company.

F32…

F31…

F30…

Oh god, please let this be easy.

F29…

F28…

Wes halted us, turning to face the door and a black device installed on the wall next to the handle. Jim pulled forward, getting on the other side of Wes to serve as the lookout while he examined the key fob for a few seconds before swinging his bag around, opening it, and then pulling out a device that looked like a small tablet. He pulled out a keycard that was attached to a coiled wire. Grabbing the loose end of the wire, he connected it to his tablet, and then shoved the keycard into the key fob.

I looked around, making sure no one was coming behind us while my heart pattered in my chest.

“Shit,” Wes grumbled.

“What’s wrong?” Matias muttered.

Wes remained quiet, typing into the tablet again. No sooner he was done, the fob blinked yellow twice, and then it blinked red. “Fuck,” he whisper-yelled. “It’s not taking the damn code.”

“Are you serious?” Calista grumbled behind me.

“Try it again,” Jim whispered over his shoulder.

Wes gritted his teeth, typing into the tablet a third time. The black device blinked yellow twice, and then it blinked red. “Shit,” Wes growled through gritted teeth as he smacked the fob hard.

This was definitely not good. “Is it possible that we’re at the wrong service entrance?” I whispered.

Wes mumbled a few more choice words, ignoring my question.

“Incoming,” Jim whispered-yelled.

A guard rounded the building, and no sooner than he did he was pulling out his weapon to fire as he lifted a radio to his lips. But before he could utter a single word, Jim fired his stunner, and the man dropped to the ground. Matias ran forward into the light, and Jim followed him while I stepped forward to serve as lookout, aiming my stunner high, ready to fire at the first sign of trouble. Matias bent down on the left side of the guard, grabbing the fabric on the man’s left shoulder while Jim grabbed the right. Together, they pulled his body out of the light and into the shadows where we were. Matias quickly searched his body, rummaging through pockets until he pulled out a keycard.

“See if this one works,” he said as he handed it to Wes.

Wes snagged it from Matias’s hand, reached forward, and flashed the card at the fob. The black box blinked yellow twice, and then it blinked green.

“Bingo,” Jim uttered, a sly smile consuming his lips. “Time to enter the belly of the beast.”

57: Perhaps

Once inside, Matias stripped off his clothing. My cheeks flushed as I caught sight of his exposed, rippled chest. I turned around, facing away from him as he finished undressing, but I caught sight of Calista, arms crossed, as she drank him in with hungry eyes. I’m not gonna lie, I felt like shoulder-checking her. I might not have been in love with Matias, but he was sort of, kind of my ex, and the thought that she was trying to claw her way back to Wes, only to now be slobbering over Matias, was more than just a little provoking. But I kept my mouth shut and focused on the task at hand.

“We don’t have much time, Wes,” Harper warned.

“I know.”

After another minute, Matias had geared himself back up, wearing the guard’s uniform and tactical belt. “Done,” he said.

“Let’s go. Stairway’s to the left.” Wes used the guard’s keycard to unlock a thick metal door with a red image of stairs on it. The lock clicked, and he opened the door, checked the hallway, and then motioned for us to follow him.

One by one, we filed into the passageway, and immediately began our climb up, stunners pointed and at attention. We hustled, deathly aware that we were on borrowed time, and at any moment, someone was going to realize that the guard we left gagged and tied up was missing. It only took us a minute to reach the fifth floor, where another metal door with a red number five painted on it waited for us.

Wes lifted his tab and thumbed it, looking at the schematics of the building. “Cellblock C should be to the left. It looks like there’s a guard’s station we have to get by first.”

“Cameras?” Matias asked.

“Definitely,” Harper said.

Wes thumbed his tab again. “It looks like there’s a surveillance room to the right.”

“We should split up,” Blondie said. I frowned and looked at her. She caught my gaze and lifted one sculpted brow ever so slightly before shifting her attention back to Wes. “You three can take out the surveillance,” she said as she pointed to all three guys, “while the princess and I wrangle the guard at the security checkpoint.”

“No, we’re sticking together,” Wes snapped. “Beyond this door should be an empty hallway. We’re going to take out the surveillance and then we’ll deal with the security.”

“We’re going to run out of time—”

“We do it,” he uttered forcibly, emphasizing each word, “together.”

Calista huffed, but she said nothing more.

We all listened as Wes gave us the details of his plan. After another minute, Wes swiped the keycard. The lock clicked, and he pushed open the door. After checking the hallway, he motioned us forward. In a single file line, we got low and hustled down the dimly lit hall. After huffing it several yards, Wes held his hand up for us to stop and pointed to a closed door with a rectangular window in it. We saw several men talking, but we couldn’t get an exact count.

Harper and I moved to place ourselves flush against the wall on the left side of the door while Calista and Wes did the same on the right. Matias, on the other hand, rolled his shoulders back, strolled right up to the door, and tried the keycard in the key fob. The device blinked yellow twice and then blinked red.

Crap.

Matias looked at Wes, shrugging his shoulders in a what now fashion. Wes lifted his spare hand and made a knock-knock motion.

“What?” Matias mouthed, looking as though he wanted to punch Wes in the face.

Wes glared back at him, pointed at the door, and then made another knock-knock motion. I swear, if it weren’t because I was desperate for this whole thing to be over, I’d burst out laughing right then and there. It was just too ridiculous.

Matias rolled his eyes, let out a deep breath, and then knocked on the door. Commotion came from the inside, and after a few seconds, the door opened.

“What do you need?” a man said.

“Oh, nothing much,” Matias said, shrugging his shoulders. “Just this.” Matias shot out his leg, landing a hard kick to the guy’s sternum and sending the guard flying backward into the room.

Wes stood up, lifting his arm, holding a stun bomb, and in one fluid motion, he pulled out the pin and threw the bomb into the surveillance room. Matias reached forward, snagged the handle of the door, and slammed it closed as a deep, bassy boom—barely audible—came from inside. We remained frozen for several seconds before Matias opened the door, glanced inside, and then motioned us to follow. We poured in and closed the door behind us.

Five men lay on the ground. Harper checked one man’s pulse and confirmed, “He’s alive.”

“Computers are down,” Blondie said as she tapped several keyboards. I noticed all the monitors were black.

“Gotta love a stun bomb,” Matias said. “Knocks the shit out of everything every time.”

“Yeah, except they work like shit in open spaces,” Blondie countered. “I much prefer a real grenade. TNT’s way more reliable than electricity.”

“Tie ’em up,” Wes ordered. “We’ve got to get going.”

Each one of us pulled out a roll of duct tape and began wrapping wrists and ankles, as well as placing a patch over their mouths. Every guard we tied up was one less that could sound the alarm before we had a chance to get out of this place. Wes walked around and collected all of their keycards and then destroyed each guard’s mini-tab.

“Does anyone think that this is too easy?” Harper asked as he spun a roll of tape around a guard’s ankle for the third time.

“Shut up, Harper!” Blondie snapped.

“I’m just saying…”

“I don’t think our boat nearly flipping, and then your ass almost falling 250 feet, was easy,” she countered.

Jim bit off the tape, and then stretched out another six inches of it. “Yeah, but that’s been the hardest part so far. We were all preparing ourselves for this crazy ass death mission, and frankly…it’s been pretty okay.” He bit off the rectangular piece and placed it over the guard’s mouth.

“Christ, Harper,” Matias muttered. “Are you trying to fuck us all over?”

“I’m just saying—”

“Enough!” Wes bit out. “Stop your yapping and get your asses in gear. Let’s move it!”

We quickly finished up and filed out of the surveillance office, moving on to our next obstacle. But I couldn’t help but mull over Jim’s words. He was right. This was too easy. As Raúl’s daughter, I knew the Bellfire Tower was rumored to be an awful place. A place no one ever escaped. But if it truly was this horrible, formidable prison, then why was I only moments away from finally having my brother back?

It didn’t make any sense.

Perhaps the formidability of the tower was just another one of Raúl’s lies? Then again, perhaps the tower was only toying with us, letting us think we were superior to her deadly bites. Perhaps she was just biding her time before baring down her teeth and eating us alive.

58: Modified

Matias strolled up to the desk, walking right past it as though he owned the place. We all watched from around the corner, just out of sight of the security station. Our view of the desk itself was a little obstructed, but we had clear sight of the giant barred gate that separated the desk from Cellblock C, which is exactly where Matias went, standing in front of the gate as though it should open for him like an automatic door. It took a second for the guard to notice him. His head looked up from his computer, and then he looked around, completely confused, before he stood up.

“Hey,” he called to Matias.

Matias casually turned around, putting his arms out in a what’s up fashion.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as he walked around the desk toward Matias.

“Paul told me to come up here and switch with you.” It was a random name. I had to hand it to Matias…he never got tripped up under pressure.

“What?” The guy stepped closer to Matias. “Who the hell is Paul?”

Whelp, nice try…

Jim shot out from around the corner, stunner already in hand, and fired. The electrical pulse shot out and zapped the guard, who shuddered for a moment and then fell to the ground in a heap. We all turned the corner and came to join Matias while Blondie took her position as lookout, monitoring the hall we just came from.

Wes grabbed the man’s keycard and took off his tab while Jim grabbed his duct tape and started taping the guard up. I ran behind the desk and watched the TV screen. The black and white images showed pictures of several rows of cells, but the hallways looked quiet. I grabbed the mouse and shifted my attention to the computer monitor. The guard was apparently bored because he was in the middle of a virtual game of Stallion. I clicked out of the game and started rummaging through the files.

Matias came over to stand by my side, hand on the desk as he leaned in close to look at the screen. “Anything?”

“Nope,” I muttered as I scanned file titles.

“Any day now, Telvian,” Blondie groaned from her lookout point.

I ignored her. I needed to find the prisoner manifest. Knowing what cell Jacob was in would significantly shorten our time in this place and reduce the number of other inmates who would see us.

Wes and Jim finished tying up the guard and dragged the body behind the desk, tucking him under my feet. It was incredibly annoying since I was still trying to figure the computer out. I almost snapped at them to back off, but I bit my tongue instead and focused on the task at hand.

“Let’s go, de la Puente.” It was Wes. Gone were the gentle tones, all replaced by a bite that felt like a stab to the heart. I was de la Puente now, not Mara. Just de la Puente…another member of the team. Another soldier he was responsible for and needed to order around. It hurt. But despite how much it hurt, it also made me bitter.

“You’re not helping, Calvernon,” I snapped back, emphasizing his last name. The energy shifted, and out of the corner of my eye, I caught Blondie eyeing us while Jim shifted uncomfortably. Matias, as he always did, remained calm, placing a tender hand on the small of my back.

Feeling the gentle pressure, I inhaled deeply, and then sighed, letting go of the frustration. Then I doubled down, searching for the manifest, clicking on several more folders until finally, I found it.

“Here it is!” I said a little too loudly. Blondie shushed me, but no one else dared to tell me to be quiet. I scanned the document.

“Which one is he?”

My eyes scanned name after name, column after column of Telvians whose lives were thrown away in the tower, never to be remembered again. And the thought occurred to me…how many of these people really deserved to be here? How many of these people were just District 3 citizens who spoke an ill word about the Telvian Council or refused to follow an unjust command from a REG officer? How many of these people were Dissenters?

And suddenly, I wanted to save them all. To open every cell and give each person a chance at freedom. But I couldn’t. The chaos would only draw more attention to the tower and the twenty or thirty soldiers at the chokepoint across the land bridge would be on all of us. Plus, there was no way these people could escape the way we came. There weren’t enough harnesses, and the desperation would only lead to fighting. And that broke my heart even more. “There’re so many of them,” I whispered under my breath as I scanned each one.

Matias’s voice was in my ear, soothing. “I know, Mara. But stay focused. Where’s Jacob?”

I took another deep breath and continued to scan, trying my best to squelch the sorrow I felt for each of these forgotten souls. I scrolled down, bringing up the last page of the document, and read through the last three columns of names.

“We’re going to get our asses caught,” Blondie whisper-yelled. “This is taking too much freaking time!”

My jaw dropped, my heart sinking into the pit of my stomach as it roiled. “Oh my god,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

“What is it?” Matias asked. “What’s wrong?”

“He’s…he’s not here.” The words left my lips as despair filled me. All of this…we had done all of this to discover that he wasn’t here.

“What do you mean, he’s not here?” Wes snapped.

“I mean, he’s not here,” I spat back through gritted teeth. “As in, he’s not on the manifest. He’s not in this effing cellblock.”

“That’s impossible,” Matias began. “Maybe you just missed his name or something.”

“I didn’t miss his name,” I shot back. “He’s not here.”

“Then where is he?” Wes said hotly, brows furrowed as his eyes bored into mine.

“I don’t know!” I did not like this attitude from him. He was starting to remind me of the Wes I first met back at the rebel camp, and I so did not want that guy invited to this party.

Jim stepped forward, putting himself between us. “Whoa, chill out! Someone’s going to hear you guys.”

Wes glared at Jim before turning away and walking toward Calista. She was quick to place a consoling hand on his back, muttering god knows what to him. I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears of hurt, anger, and frustration that were threatening to fall.

“Hey,” Matias whispered. “It’s going to be okay,” he repeated to me. “Can you see if there’s any information about him being transferred?”

I wiped the single tear that came down my cheek with the cuff of my shirt. “Yeah, let me see if there’s a prisoner transfer record or something.” I went to work, scanning the remaining files, before deciding that they were a lost cause. I shifted gears, searching for anything that looked like a database for the tower, and clicked on a promising option. It brought up a new screen with a search bar. Typing in my brother’s name, I gave a silent prayer. The cursor switched to a spinning circle, letting me know the system was processing my request.

Please…please let him be here.

The circle kept spinning, and every time it spun, I felt my chest tighten a little more, the anxiety climbing. I tried to breathe, feeling a knot forming in my throat as desperation reared its ugly head, and then the cursor stopped twirling. A new screen popped up, showing a picture of my brother.

“Here it is,” I said with a sigh of relief as I scanned the document. My eyes glossed over the words, trying to understand what I was reading. “He’s here,” I said, my heart skipping a beat. “He was transferred to level four to some surgical ward.”

“A surgical ward?” Wes took a step closer.

“It says they moved him yesterday to another cellblock. He was scheduled for some sort of procedure.” I was confused. Why the hell was he scheduled for a medical procedure?

“Did he get hurt or something?” Jim asked.

“I highly doubt Raúl’s going to provide medical treatment to an inmate he scheduled for execution,” Blondie sneered.

“Well why the hell would he—”

“Hush,” Wes snapped. “What’s the deal, de la Puente?”

I gritted my teeth. I hated him calling me that. Not even back at the rebel camp did he ever refer to me by my last name. But I tried my best to ignore him and stay focused on figuring out what the hell Raúl was doing with my brother. My eyes scanned the words…

PRISONER TO BE MODIFIED WITH NIT-V2…

Modified? What the hell did modified mean?

“Mara?” Matias prodded.

“It…it doesn’t say. It just says he’s being modified with something.”

“When?” Jim asked.

“Earlier today.” This was crazy. What did they do to him?

“Where is he now?”

I swallowed, feeling my anxiety climbing. “In the surgical ward on the fourth floor. He’s under observation.”

“Observation?” Matias ran his fingers through his air, his unease reflecting my own. “What the hell does observation mean?”

“I don’t know!” I snapped. Why did everyone think I knew what the hell was going on? I might be Raúl’s daughter, but I dissented months ago. And it wasn’t like Raúl ever told me about any of this crap anyhow.

“Hey!” Blondie called. “We’ve got incoming. That guard’s mini-tab from the yard is lighting up. If they haven’t figured out he’s missing, they’re going to.”

“We’ve got to go,” Wes ordered. “Now.”

I quickly glanced at my brother’s observation room number, and then we bolted as fast as we could, heading back to the stairs. But my stomach contorted with unease. Something happened. Raúl did something, I just didn’t know what it was. But I had a sick feeling I was about to find out.

59: Yellow, Yellow, Red

We hustled down the flight of stairs. The tower guards had definitely figured out that Yard Dude was out of commission since he hadn’t checked in after his patrol. Chances were, they were going to radio security up in the surveillance room, and when they didn’t get a response from any of them, they were going to figure out something was up. Wes figured we had less than ten minutes before the gig was up and we were going to have to square off with twenty plus soldiers at the chokepoint on the other side of the land bridge. The only thing in our favor was that the land bridge consisted of 313 stairs down to the tower. It would only buy us five or ten minutes, but those five or ten minutes could be the difference between death and making it out alive.

Jim went through the fourth-floor access door first before motioning us forward. This hallway was sterile looking, with white walls and fluorescent lighting that was dimmed for the evening hours. The hallway stretched out in both directions.

“We need to go right,” I stated, remembering the schematic from the computer screen. “We’re looking for the surgical ward and Observation Deck F.”

Wes nodded and took the lead with Matias bringing up the rear. I, of course, was sandwiched between Blondie and Harper.

We crouched low but moved fast, almost recklessly so. But we knew time was of the essence, and if we toddled too much, we’d end up facing way more soldiers than our little five-man team was prepared to handle. As we passed the doors on either side, I couldn’t help but notice their names…

Inmate Observation Deck B

Surgical Room 5

Kennel Lab 4

Inmate Observation Deck D

Kennel Lab 5

What the hell was all of this? It was like this entire floor was nothing but a medical unit combined with some sort of lab. The sickly feeling in my stomach grew worse and morbid curiosity got me. I slowed down in front of the last door that read Kennel Lab 5. Just like the surveillance room, the door had a large rectangular window that allowed me to peek inside. And when I did, my heart sank.

“de la Puente,” Wes barked. “Get moving.”

But I ignored him. All I focused on were the rows and rows of kennels located inside this one room.

“What are you doing?” Blondie snapped.

My voice caught in my throat, but I forced it out, raspy and thin. “They’re hellhounds. The kennels are filled with hellhounds.”

Wes’s face shifted, looking grim as he came to stand next to me and looked through the window. “Fuck.”

“Those things are real?” Jim asked, trying to scoot in to get a look.

“Yeah, they’re real all right,” Wes muttered as the memory of almost having my face ripped off filled my mind.

“Are they…are they just kept here? Or…?”

Or are they made here? That very same question was racking my brain, too. I knew Raúl had been working on the hellhound project for some time—a product of genetic engineering and selective breeding. And suddenly, I remembered an important detail.

“Wes,” I turned to face him. “These things…they’re used as part of the security here.”

Wes’s face grew stern. “We’ve got to get moving and get out of here before any of those fucking things are let out, or we’re all going to be dog food.” He didn’t waste another second. Whipping around, he motioned us to follow, but I took one last look through the window, noticing the numerous rows in the room. There were easily fifty kennels in there. And this was Kennel Lab 5. Did that mean there were four other kennels, each holding fifty of these things?

Jim nudged me. “Let’s go.” He didn’t have to tell me twice. I got myself moving, following the rest of the group. Because the last thing I wanted was to be sitting around here if those things ever got out.

***

We made it to Observation Deck F only a minute later. The door had a similar window as the other, but when I looked inside, all I saw was another room with two other doors. After scanning two keycards, we finally had luck with the third. The key fob blinked yellow twice and then blinked green as the lock slid back and the door opened. I felt my heart race, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I was so close to finally having my brother back after all these months.

We piled into the room, and the door closed behind us. This room was empty, white, and sterile, with fluorescent lighting just like the hallway. The only exception was that the hallway was dim, which wasn’t the case here. It was almost painfully bright. Two doors stood side by side, but blank. And unlike the other doors, these had no rectangular windows. The one on the left had no key fob, while the one on the right did. Wes walked up to the one on the left, braced his shoulder against it, giving us all a quick glance. We prepared ourselves, ready to fire, as he pushed on the handle and swung the door open.

But nothing happened.

The room was dark, with a faint glow coming from one side. Cautiously, we stepped into the space, ready for what might lurk within. The room had several chairs facing a window that looked into another room, and that room was brightly lit, casting the glow I had noticed before. I walked up to the window and there, on the other side of the glass, was my brother.

“Jacob,” his name slipped from my lips as I placed my hand on the glass. He was dressed in scrubs, strapped down to a table. IVs came off his body while monitors displayed numbers and an image of—

“That’s a brain,” Blondie said as she came to stand beside me.

Oh my god! What did they do to him?

“Is he…” Jim hesitated. “Dead?”

My heart dropped. Before I could think of what I was doing, I ran past Wes, snatching the keycard he had in his hand, and dashed out of the room. Someone called my name, but I didn’t care. I whipped around, flashed the card at the key fob, and gripped the handle, but the door didn’t budge. I flashed the keycard again. The device blinked yellow twice and then blinked red.

Oh no…

“Wes! Give me a different card,” I ordered, my voice thin. I turned around to see him standing behind me, face stoic, as he handed me the other six keycards we had collected.

I snagged them, and I didn’t pay attention to the shift in his eyes, or the stiffness of his body. I was one door away from having my brother back, and nothing was going to keep me from him. I shoved another keycard in front of the device.

Yellow…yellow…red.

I took the second card and scanned it.

Yellow…yellow…red.

My chest tightened. I swallowed hard as I shoved a third one at the key fob.

Yellow…yellow…red.

Shit. This was not happening. This couldn’t be happening. I flashed the fourth one.

Yellow…yellow…red.

Please! Please don’t do this to me. I felt the desperation climb up my throat, forming a tight knot that made it difficult to even breathe as I scanned the fifth card.

Yellow…yellow…red.

I reached for the last card. I could hear the pounding of my heart in my ears. Felt as each pulse pumped blood and desperation throughout my body.

This has to work. Please, dear god, make this work!

Everything went still around me, almost as though we were all holding our breath. And then I reached forward and scanned the card.

60: Stasis

Yellow…yellow…red.

What? I scanned the card again.

Yellow…yellow…red.

This couldn’t be happening. I scanned it again, and again, and again. Each time, the device flashed its lights at me. Each time, those same little lights glowed.

Yellow…yellow…red.

I knew it was stupid. I knew that no matter how many times I shoved that card in front of the device, I was going to get the same result. Those two little yellow lights and then the glaring red one. But I didn’t care. I just kept scanning the same stupid card. And when the realization hit me that the card was never going to work, I reached for the other ones I had already tried and began flashing those at the key fob. But no matter how many times I tried, and no matter which card I shoved in the face of that effing device, all I kept seeing was yellow…yellow…red.

And then I broke. The tears I had been holding since we left the base were finally released. Because here I was, only yards away from my brother, with nothing but a door between us. I had flown across the nation, ridden a measly boat over threatening seas, climbed 250 feet up the side of a sheer cliff, and infiltrated the most notorious prison in Telvia, only to be stopped by a damn fucking door!

I slammed my fist into it with a scream, feeling pain bolt up my wrist, arm, and into my shoulder. But I didn’t care.

“Mara,” someone whisper-yelled at me.

I slammed my fist into the door again, relishing the way the pain traveled up my arm. And then again…and again. And no one dared to stop me. No one dared to tell me no. And I punched that fucking door as the tears streamed down my face until my knuckles split open, and that stupid white door was defaced with the red smear of my blood. Because I had come so far, sacrificed so much, only to be stopped by one single door.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, firm and heavy, but gentle. I didn’t know who it was, and I didn’t care. The simple gesture caused a sigh of despair to leave me as my shoulders slumped and defeat washed over me. I closed my eyes, feeling the sorrow building within, because I was out of ideas. I had dragged all these people here, only to be left empty-handed.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. And it was true. I was sorry. I was sorry for the sacrifice I made them all take. The risks they all took to rescue a man they didn’t want saved. I was sorry because there was no guarantee we were going to make it out of here alive. And in the end, we failed. We failed for nothing. I felt a few more tears slip down my cheeks. “We failed…” the words fell from my lips in a whisper. I felt the weight of those two words, felt as they sunk deep into my soul, weighing me down.

“Not today, we’re not,” I heard Wes say. I looked up and watched as he marched back into the observation room. We all followed him, but only just stepped inside when Wes lifted one of the chairs and sent it flying into the window. The thing exploded, shattering into a million shards of glass that scattered everywhere. And suddenly, we were back in the game.

“Shit!” Blondie shouted. “If they didn’t hear us before, they definitely heard us now.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Wes said.

“We better move it,” Matias chimed in.

But his words were wasted on me because I was already climbing through the window, hearing the crunch of the glass beneath my booted foot as I stepped onto the pristine white floor. And I didn’t wait for anyone. I was across the room, coming to my brother’s left side, and looking at his gaunt face, my hand cupping his cheek. His eyes were closed, and I held my breath as I called to him.

“Jacob,” I whispered. “Jacob, wake up. You’ve got to get up.” I placed my hand on his chest and began to shake him. “Jacob, please!”

“He’s in stasis,” Wes said.

I turned to find him standing at the foot of the table, holding up a tablet he found. “What? What do you mean—”

“He’s in some sort of coma,” he clarified. Matias came up to stand next to him, looking at the tablet. I noticed a slight shift in Wes’s posture, tensing of his muscles.

“It says that he’s been like this since the procedure earlier today.”

I turned back to look at Jacob and took a moment to really see him. His head was wrapped in white gauze, his blond hair visible from the top, discolored with dry blood. His face looked ashen, like he had been left without his nourishment pills for days. I noticed old, yellowed bruising on his cheek, and noticed how much thinner he appeared under the fabric of the gray scrubs he was wearing.

“Uh, not to alarm anyone,” Harper interjected, “but we’ve got to get the hell out of here ASAP. And that man isn’t going anywhere. There’s no way we can carry him, and there’s sure as hell no way we’re going to get him back down the cliff.”

I turned on Jim. “We’re not leaving him! Look at him! Look at what they’re doing to him!”

“I am looking at him, Mara,” he shouted back at me. “He’s in a coma. There’s no way we’re getting him out of here! Not like this.”

“Move aside, folks,” Blondie said as she shoved past me, a nasty-looking syringe in her hand.

“Whoa! What is that? Where did you even find that thing?” Jim shot out.

“Turns out, surgical rooms like this have cabinets with all the best drugs in them,” she answered slyly with a toss of her head. I followed her gaze to the corner of the room and noticed the tall, white cabinet, doors wide open, filled with bottles and vials. I turned back to face her only to see her hand high in the air above her head.

“Wait! What are you doing?” My question came out fast, but not as fast as Calista’s hand. I watched with mortal dread as the syringe in her clenched fist came slamming down…right into Jacob’s heart.

That’s when I screamed.

61: Only One

No sooner was the needle buried in Jacob’s chest when Calista pushed down on the plunger. I grabbed onto her, yanking her back. But as soon as I did, Jacob’s body jerked violently on the table, causing me to jump backwards. His eyes flew open as he inhaled forcefully, his back arching, fighting against the straps that were holding him down.

“Jacob!” I threw myself at him, putting my hands on his cheeks, looking into his shocked oceanic eyes. “Oh my god, Jacob!”

His chest rose and fell with jagged breaths as his eyes tried to focus on me. “Ma-Mara?” He stuttered, breathless.

“Yes! Yes, it’s me. It’s me. Jacob, I’ve been so worried about you!” I kissed his cheek and then looked back into his eyes. “What did they do to you?”

His eyes looked around the room, and I could tell then that he was dazed, struggling to understand what was happening. “Mara?” he asked again, his breaths still coming in fast. “Wha—But how?”

“It’s okay,” I whispered to him as I stroked his hair, careful to avoid the bandaged area. “It’s fine. Everything’s going to be fine.” Matias went to Jacob’s opposite side and started undoing his straps as Blondie did the same thing.

Once finished, Matias placed a gentle hand on mine, nudging me. “We’ve got to go, Mara. Like, right now.” I nodded and then looked back at my brother.

“Who—who is that?” he asked.

“Shh, I’ll explain it all later, but we’ve gotta go,” I told him as I helped him sit up. “Can you walk?”

He closed his eyes and shook his head as though he were trying to shake something off. “I-I don’t know. I’m having a hard time remembering everything.”

“Matias, Jim,” Wes called, “help him up.”

Both men stepped in as I stepped back to give them room. Jacob slowly slid his bare feet off the bed and then tried to stand. His legs wobbled, and just as it looked like he was about to collapse, Jim grabbed him.

“Oh Jacob,” I whispered. This was bad. How the hell were we going to get him out of here like this?

Suddenly, the lights in the room changed color, shifting to a deep and ominous red as a loud, blaring, whoop sound rang throughout the room and repeated over and over. It didn’t take a genius to know what it all meant.

“Shit,” Wes groaned while Harper let out a slew of expletives. “You guys carry him,” he ordered. “I’ll take the lead. Calista, take the rear. Switch to lethals.”

Fear whipped through my body as I reached to my left hip, undid the clip of my holster, and pulled out my 9mm handgun. And just like I had done so many times before, I pulled back the slide. The gun jerked in my hand with the force of the slide whipping back into place as the bullet slipped into the chamber. Calista and Wes did the same, ready to fire.

“Stay low, stay quick,” Wes said with a stern look painted across his features. “Let’s move out.” And then we were off.

Wes walked us across the room and opened the stupid door I had punched the living crap out of. The once white room was cast in the same red glow, and the horrible long whooping alarm kept blaring repeatedly. As Wes came up to the door that led into the hallway, he opened it quickly, checked both directions, and then motioned us forward. I watched as my brother tried his best to use his legs, trying to support his own weight as much as he could, but he was so weak, so slow. It was taking all of Jim and Matias’s strength to carry him.

What am I going to do?

There was no way I could carry him by myself. If he couldn’t support his own weight, I wasn’t sure we would make it anywhere out of here. My brain kept spinning in circles, desperately trying to find a solution to my problem as we tried to hustle down the hall. Jacob partially limped and was partially dragged down the hallway, his arms looped over Jim and Matias’s shoulders, while his head lulled from time to time. I sent a silent prayer up to the universe, begging that he would become more lucid soon. Just carrying his own weight would be a dramatic improvement.

Wes motioned in front of me. I saw the stairwell access door several yards ahead and felt an enormous sense of relief at the sight of it. We just needed to get down the stairs. Down the stairs, out the door, and a brisk jog to the fence. Of course, that didn’t solve my problem of running away with my brother. But right now, I’d settle for staying alive.

“Move it,” Wes hollered back toward us. And we responded, trying to pick up the pace while my brother tried using his legs as much as he could. The door came closer and closer, just a few feet away, when we heard the blast.

BANG!

“Hit the deck!” Wes hollered as Jim yelled out, dropping to the ground. I crouched low, getting close to the wall as several prison guards—too many to count—whipped around the corner at the far end of the hall, firing at us.

Wes fired two shots in rapid succession, taking out a guard who plopped to the ground as I fired my own gun three times, taking out one guard with two to the chest and one to the head. I chanced a quick look at my brother, who had dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes when Harper screamed out. Matias helped him move to the wall behind me and then crouched low at my side, firing away. Calista shimmied over to Harper and dragged him closer to the wall by her, checking his pulse. And when I saw him, I almost threw up.

Harper’s eyes were wide open, staring lifelessly at me while blood trickled down his face from a massive hole that blew out the upper left side of his forehead. I spun away, the scene too bloody, too gory for me to stomach. I lifted my weapon again, trying hard to focus on the onslaught of guards that just kept coming from the end of the hall.

“Wes!” Matias called by me. “We lost Harper!”

“We need to move!” Wes acknowledged as he fired his gun off again. He glanced at Matias, “You and me”—Bang! Bang!—“we’ll hold them off!”

“What!” It wasn’t a question. Was he crazy? I wasn’t going to leave them here like this!

“Haeflinger,” Matias shouted over his shoulder as he released the magazine from his gun and slammed another one into place with ease. “Take Mara and Jacob through the stairs! We’ll cover!”

My eyes widened. “No, Matias!”

“We’ll be right behind you.” He fired off two more shots. “Your brother can’t make it to the door without cover. Go!”

I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell him to go get his head checked if he thought I was actually going to do that. But when I looked at my brother—gaunt, weak, and barely able to move himself—I knew he was right and I had little choice. With a deep breath, I aimed my gun and fired off four rounds in rapid succession, watching one guard drop to the floor while another grabbed his shoulder where the bullet sunk in.

Matias grabbed a flash grenade from his bag, pulling out the pin as he yelled “Flashbang!” and then rolled it down the hall like he was throwing a bowling ball. I dropped, curling into a ball, closing my eyes and plugging my ears to—hopefully—save myself from the effects of the grenade.

BOOM!

The entire floor shook with the intensity, throwing me onto my back.

Get up, get up, get up!

Feeling disoriented, I scrambled back onto my feet and turned behind me. Grabbing Jacob’s arm, I placed it around my neck as Calista moved into action, doing the same. Together, we heaved him up and began moving him as quickly as we could to the door while Matias and Wes marched forward, firing away at the new wave of guards whipping around the corner down the hall, ignoring their disoriented comrades.

“Jacob, you’ve got to help us,” I begged him. “Please, you’ve got to try.” I felt his body stiffen as he tried to lift each leg, tried to carry his own weight.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

“Fuck!” I heard Wes scream. I turned to see him gripping his right shoulder as he tried to keep his right arm up to fire his weapon.

“Wes!” He was hurt. My heart hammered in my chest, adrenaline pumping through my veins as more shots were fired, this time getting Matias in the leg, and I watched in horror as he dropped to the floor. “No!”

“Never mind them!” Calista yelled. “Grab the fucking door!”

But how could I leave them? How could I leave both of these men, both these loves of my life, in this hallway of death? I couldn’t!

“Mara!” Calista screamed at me. “Either get the fucking door or get out of the way! Remember what you came here to do!”

BANG! BANG, BANG!

I looked at Blondie, and then I saw my brother, barely even alive, head bandaged up because of god knows what that they did to him. And then I looked back at Wes and Matias, both still alive, but both bleeding, both holding back a wave of soldiers that they could never survive. And that fucking alarm kept blaring, kept screaming that this was it, that this was the end.

“Mara, please…” It came off Jacob’s lips like a prayer. His deep blue eyes begging me to save him.

And I broke.

I broke because I loved all three of them.

My friend.

My brother.

And the love of my life.

I truly loved all three of them with the depths of my heart. But I knew at that moment that I was only going to be able to save one of them.

Only one.

“Mara!” I heard his voice…the call of my name said like a desperate cry for salvation, cutting through all the chaos. I turned to see Wes as he fired his gun and then turned to face me. And our eyes locked. The vibrant yellowed ambers in his hazel eyes burned like melted gold, captivating me, reminding me of every passionate moment, every death-defying event, every single touch, and desperate kiss, all in one powerful gaze. “Go.”

It was all he said. One single word before he turned back to face the parade of soldiers coming down the hall. But the lines of his angular face, the look of his golden-green eyes, and the sound of his voice spoke so much more than that one word.

Go…because I need you to be saved.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t muster a single sound. And I couldn’t do it. Not this time. I couldn’t leave Wes or Matias to die.

I started to shift my weight to turn back into the fray. But before I knew what was happening, Calista reached forward, pulled the door open, and then shoved Jacob and me through it. I almost tripped as the weight of my brother’s body collided into me, throwing me into the stairwell. And then Calista slammed the door closed behind her, leaving Matias and Wes to their fates.

62: Red Light, Green Light

“What the fuck did you do?” I screamed at her. “You left them!”

“You came for your brother, Telvian,” she sneered, “and nothing else! Now’s your chance.”

“Not like this,” I countered, reaching for the door to open it, but it was locked. My eyes darted to look at the handle as I yanked on it again and then registered the black key fob next to it. Shit! I patted my body, trying to remember what I did with all those stupid keycards, but I found none.

No, no, no, no!

“It’s too late, Mara. And the longer we stand here, the higher the chances are that we’re all going to die. I’ll help you get him down the stairs and back into the yard, but then you’re on your own. Got it?”

“But Wes—”

“Wes and Matias are soldiers, de la Puente. They’re soldiers. And they’re going to move a lot faster and have a much better chance of getting out there if they’re not constantly looking out for you!” she yelled.

“But—”

“Mara…” Jacob mumbled.

I turned to see him slumped against the wall. “Oh, Jacob,” I ran to him, trying to lift him up.

“Mara…” he mumbled again. “We’ve…got to go,” he pushed out.

“I know, but the others—” He lifted a finger, telling me he had more to say, so I closed my mouth and listened.

“We’ve got…to go,” he said through ragged breaths. “Dad’s…planning something.”

Calista’s eyes narrowed. “Planning something? What do you mean planning something?”

He tried to look at her, but ended up lolling his head back and resting it against the wall as he closed his eyes. “Something’s coming… Something…big.” He took in a breath, trying hard to speak, to warn us. “We’ve got…to make it back.” As I watched him, I felt completely heartbroken. I had never seen someone struggle so much just to speak. He was so out of shape from spending months in a prison cell, and god only knew what was done to him in that surgery—how much blood he lost, what drugs were still pumping in his veins. “The Dissenters,” he pushed out again. “They need…me.”

“Jacob,” I said as I cupped his cheeks in my hands. “We can’t go back.”

“We have…to.”

“No, Jacob, we can’t.” I argued. “If we go back, the North is just going to put you in prison and then you’ll go to trial. And I—” I hesitated, feeling the fear welling up inside. “I don’t think they’re going to let you live.”

Jacob opened his eyes as he took in another deep breath, trying to look at me. “Mara, I…I’ve done a lot of horr-horrible things.” His eyes flickered, and I could see the pain he felt. The remorse that was eating him alive. “I-I’m prepared,” he paused, taking another deep breath, “to pay…for my crimes.”

“Jacob—” He lifted his finger up, silencing me.

“I deserve…to pay…for what I’ve done. But they need…to know”—he took another shuddering breath—“what’s coming.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn’t lose all of them. Not all three. “But Jacob—”

“Mara,” he interjected, “I’m…not afraid.”

“But I am!” I yelled at him. “I’m afraid of having to do all of it alone!”

He lifted a shaky hand up, brushing the tear that fell down my cheek. “You still…haven’t learned to…believe in yourself.”

A breath I didn’t realize I had been holding escaped me, as I felt his gentle touch and gazed into his eyes. And then he smiled. I hadn’t seen Jacob smile in a long time, and the simple expression almost brought me to my knees.

“Mara,” he began again, “trust me.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears slowly slide down my cheek. I had done so much, given up so much, lost so much…and now I was going to lose him. The one person who I had been fighting so hard for since the very beginning. Jacob was asking me to bring him back to the North, to sacrifice him, so he could help take Raúl down for good. I didn’t think it was possible, but I felt myself break all over again. It was all falling apart, all shattering, and I was losing control of everything.

I breathed in deeply, trying to regain control as I resigned myself to him. “Jacob, I—”

Suddenly, the stairwell door flew open, causing Calista to whirl around ready to fire just as I reached for my pistol and aimed, finger on the trigger.

“What the hell are you guys still doing here?” Matias growled as he limped into the stairwell. His leg was bleeding, soaking his cargo pants, but he had managed to wrap his belt around it like a tourniquet. A bruise colored his right eye, and swelling was puffing out the tissue just under it.

“How the hell…?” Blondie let out just as Wes came around from behind Matias.

“Wes,” I breathed out, my heart seizing as immense joy and relief shuddered through me. Wes had a nasty cut on his left brow that was definitely going to need stitches, and his right shoulder hung down limply, the sleeve soaked with blood. “Oh my god, are you guys okay? I thought you were both going to die.”

“Yeah, so did we,” Matias said as he stretched out his neck.

“What happened?” Calista asked.

“The fuckers just suddenly turned and bolted,” Wes said as he ejected the magazine from his gun and winced as he rummaged in his bag for another one.

“What?”

“You heard him,” Matias confirmed. “They just suddenly turned tail and left.”

“Why would they do that?” I asked.

Matias shrugged. “Beats me, but I don’t intend to stick around and find out.”

Wes slapped his new mag into his gun with a grunt. He was in pain, but I knew him well enough to know that he would die before he showed it. Nothing more than grunts and a slight narrowing of the eyes. “Everybody reload,” he ordered, the scowl painted across the lines of his face, “and let’s get the fuck outta here. There’s no way this is over, and I’ve got a real bad feeling that we’re not gonna like what’s coming next.”

As if on cue, the lights in the room shifted from red to a sickly green, just as the repetitive whooping alarm stopped, and then started back up as a shrill, high-pitched squeal.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Blondie asked as she looked around.

“Mara!” Jacob yelled out beside me, causing me to whip around and touch his cheek. His eyes were wide and wild. Fear oozed from him as he desperately grabbed at my clothing, trying to pull himself up.

“What? What is it?” I asked, trying to get him to calm down.

“We got to go now!“ he screamed.

“What’s going on?” Wes demanded.

Jacob turned toward him. “The hounds! They’re releasing the hellhounds!”

Oh shit. We were totally fucked.

63: Please

I’m not sure how we scrambled down the stairs so fast with Jacob. Wes and Matias were practically carrying him while Calista took the lead and I followed behind. The green light lit the stairwell with its ominous glow, while the squealing alarm kept sounding, making it difficult to hear my own thoughts, let alone one of my teammates.

But we hustled down those stairs in just under a minute and out the door that had a giant one painted on it. Back in the familiar, creepy maintenance hallway, I closed the door behind us just as Blondie shouted.

“He’s gone. The dude from the yard is gone.”

“Yeah,” Matias grunted through gritted teeth, “well I hope he had a nice time, because I sure as hell didn’t.”

“Calista, check the yard,” Wes growled.

With a brisk nod, she rested her back against the door leading outside and cracked it open, peeking through. Then she opened it a little wider, poked her head out, before throwing the door open, motioning us onward. “Clear!”

I took the lead, running through, gun in hand, ready to fire at anyone or anything that came our way. Unlike the hallway, the yard wasn’t painted in the sickly green light, but the same high-pitched alarm rang throughout the yard, overpowering the sound of the ocean. At least out here, it wasn’t so deafening. The guys hobbled through behind me, followed by Calista. I turned around, looking to the left and right, but the coast was clear.

“Let’s go,” Wes groaned as he marched forward.

Blondie ran up ahead, taking her position. We didn’t even bother being discreet, didn’t even try to stick to the shadows. We just ran as fast as we could around the building, back towards the hole we cut in the fence where our climbing gear was waiting for us. I kept turning around behind me, checking to make sure we weren’t being pursued. As I walked backward for several steps, I noticed the discoloration on the packed dirt. The drips and drops of crimson that led all the way back to the door we had just come out of. I whipped around, noticing that the trail led past me, in front of me, all the way to Matias and Wes.

Oh no…

Then I heard it. The delighted yip, followed by a yap echoing through the night air. And then another, followed by two more, then several others, all calling and crying out over one another. It was the most disturbing sound I had ever heard in my life. The most chilling, excitatory cacophony of animalistic calls that sent my heart racing in my chest and fresh waves of adrenaline pumping through my system. Because I knew exactly what that sound was. I knew exactly what that meant.

“What the hell is that?” Calista shouted back as she stopped short.

“The hounds!” Jacob screamed.

“Shit,” was all Wes said.

“But why are they—”

“Keep going!” Jacob all but screamed as he tried to limp on his own.

“We’re fucking screwed,” Wes growled. “Matias, take Jacob,” he ordered as he un-looped Jacob’s arm. “Mara, take point. Calista, follow up the rear.” Matias started moving Jacob forward, not waiting for me to assume my position in front, while Blondie waited for them to pass her so she could take her position in back.

I faced Wes. “Wait a minute. What are you doing?” The words came out of me so fast, desperation clawing up my throat.

Wes pulled the slide back on his 9mm Glock, loading the bullet in the chamber as he let it go and it snapped back into place. “Stop asking questions, Mara. Get your ass going—”

“What are you doing, Wes?” I asked more forcefully, taking several steps toward him. If he was doing what I thought he was doing, he was out of his mind.

He whirled on me, all hard lines, narrowed eyes, and a nasty frown. “Get the fuck out of here, Mara!” he yelled as he pointed after the rest of the team, now out of sight.

His attitude was really getting on my nerves. I scowled. “Last time I checked, we’re both leading this operation. So don’t tell me what to do!”

“Then go lead!” he yelled as he leaned forward, getting into my personal space. “Go fucking lead, Mara. Get them outta here!”

I glared at him. “Not without you.” I heard several howls join the chorus. So many cries calling out into the night. There had to be dozens of them out there. And they were getting closer. He shot out like a cobra, his hand wrapping around my upper arm and gripping me so tight that it hurt. “Ouch!” I cried. “Let go of me!”

He started marching me forward, a mean scowl painted on his face. “Get. The fuck. Outta here!” he ordered as he all but threw me forward. And suddenly, I was five years old again, Belinda gripping my arm, digging her nails into my flesh as she threw me down the basement stairs. The memory reverberated within me. And then, I was pissed.

My blood boiled. I turned around, pulled my hand back, and slapped him…hard. My hand made a delicious SMACK sound as it collided with his cheek. “Don’t you ever grab me like that again!” I screamed as I pointed my finger at him in a warning. “Hellhounds or no hellhounds, don’t you ever do that to me ever again! You got that? My stepmother did that to me, but I’m not in Telvia anymore! I’m not five! And you can be pissed off at me all you want for not marrying you, but don’t you ever disrespect me like that again!”

Wes’s eyes flickered with emotions he couldn’t hide from me…not anymore. There was shock and regret and pain—so much pain—and fear. His lips parted, but he hesitated to speak, until finally, “Please…please go.” The words fell from his lips, almost a whisper. I wasn’t even sure I heard them at all. “Please, Mara.”

All the anger was gone. His shoulders collapsed, and all that was left in front of me was a wounded boy, filled with hurt and emotional anguish. And he was begging me. He was begging me to leave him. And I wasn’t stupid. He knew he was going to die. There was no way he was going to survive however many of those things were coming. He was sentencing himself to death, sacrificing his life to ensure the rest of us would live.

That I would live.

“Please…”

My breath caught in my throat. Because it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t leave him. There was no way I could ever leave him behind. And at that moment, I realized I was never going to leave him. I realized that the moment Wes asked me to stay with him on that dance floor at the gala, I meant what I said to him. I truly meant it with all my heart.

Always.

Because I would rather die a thousand deaths than live a single day without him. Because Wes was always there for me, and it was my turn to always be there for him. Without thinking I stepped forward, taking his face in my hands, holding him prisoner, holding his gaze.

“I’m not leaving you.” I offered him a small smile as I repeated to him the same words I said all those weeks ago during the Admin Job, and then again when he wanted to face his father alone. “You stay, then I stay…always.”

Wes stiffened, his eyes glittering, emotions passing through him so quickly. And then he closed his eyes, a single tear sliding down his cheek. The sight caused my heart to ache, because I had hurt him so much. He trusted me enough to give me his heart, to finally bring down the walls that kept him locked inside, and I had destroyed him. I destroyed him, all in an effort to save him, to keep him free. But in doing so, I betrayed his trust. And I never should have done that. I saw that now. I should have told him from the very beginning what was happening, looped him in so he could make his own choices. But instead, I made the decision for him. I took away his autonomy because I thought I knew what was best. And that was wrong.

I was wrong.

He breathed in sharply, opened his eyes, and gave one definitive nod. And I knew then that he remembered. He stepped back from me, grabbed my hand, and repeated back to me, “Always.”

I smiled then because I knew Wes was back in the game, ready to fight for his life and mine. Too bad it wouldn’t be enough.

64: Over the Edge

Wes and I ran as fast as we could, knowing that our lives depended on it. We had to reach the fence, gear up, and get far enough down the cliff that those creatures couldn’t get to us. Everything rested on it. My heart pounded as I pushed my legs past their limit, pumping my arms, feeling the burn in my lungs. Wes ran beside me, the exertion causing the drips of blood to become a steady trickle, leading the hellhounds right to us.

I heard them.

I heard the escalation in their cries, the excitement in every yip and yap that screamed victory as they caught the rich metallic scent that was Wes’s blood. They were onto us, and that meant they were only moments away from catching up. Because no matter how fast Wes and I were, they were faster.

We followed the curve of the building, Wes staying just a hair behind me even though I knew he was faster than I was. I wasn’t stupid. If those beasts caught up to us, he wanted them to take him first. But I wasn’t going to argue with him. As much as I didn’t want him to die before me, there was no use in wasting time arguing. As long as he kept going, kept running toward survival, I’d deal with it. Because Wes had to live, and I’d make sure of it.

I heard the howls, heard dozens of paws beating on the ground, giving me the impression of a stampede coming behind us. And just as I was about to turn over my shoulder to look, I saw the hole in the fence come into view with the others just on the other side.

“Go!” Wes screamed, waving his arms at the others.

Calista turned and started her descent as Matias double checked Jacob’s harness to make sure it was secured. Jacob looked out at me, the horror etched across his gaunt face.

“Go!” I yelled at him. “Get out of here!”

His grim look broke my heart because I knew he was afraid, but he nodded and allowed Matias to help him over the edge. Then Matias turned to see us before beginning to descend himself when his eyes grew wide.

“Look out!”

That’s when I went flying as something slammed me to the ground. The force of impact caused me to skid across the dirt, scraping my face and hands.

“Mara!”

I didn’t know who screamed, and honestly, it didn’t matter. Because it only took a fraction of a second for my attention to shift from the burning sensation all along my left cheek to the weight on my back and the hot, steamy breath that tickled my neck as a menacing snarl caused my heart to seize.

I moved, pushing up hard and fast. After all my training I was nothing but lean muscle and raw strength, and my brisk action catapulted the creature off me to the right. I scrambled to my feet. No sooner was the hound off me when I was hit from the left, my body flying again and colliding with the monster that I had just pushed off.

But this time, I wasn’t so lucky.

The hellhound had its maw opened wide, and he sunk his teeth deep into my bicep, sending a searing pain up my arm, causing me to scream out. He shook his powerful head, throwing me across the prison yard to land on my back.

Pain jolted through my consciousness as the back of my head collided with the hard ground. My vision blurred as a dark circle threatened to close in, narrowing my sight.

No, no, no, no! I couldn’t lose my vision…not now! I forced myself up on my legs, shaking my head and instantly regretting it as it pounded with the fiercest headache I had ever had. I blinked several times, and the dark circle finally receded, my vision stabilizing just in time to see a hellhound leaping through the air right at me.

I threw myself to the ground, nearly missing the monster as he flew over my head. Quickly, I got up and reached for my gun, except…

Where the hell is it?

A quick glance at my holster showed it wasn’t there. I scanned the ground and saw it lying on the floor several yards away. But there was no time. The hound that I just dodged was making his way back toward me, maw opened abnormally wide, like the mouth of a snake eating large prey. His glistening canines were stained yellow and red with a black tongue that looked like decaying flesh. And he was coming right at me.

I jumped, spinning in the air, leg outstretched as my booted foot made contact with the beast’s lower jaw, making a disgusting snapping sound as I broke his bone. He lulled to the side as I landed back on my feet, my hand reaching for my other hip to grab my stunner. The hound didn’t even seem to notice that his jaw was hanging open, limp and completely broken, as he gave me a gurgling snarl. And right as he made another leap for me, I aimed my stunner and shot him, causing him to fall limp to the floor.

“Mara!”

I whirled around, catching Matias trying to hold the hole in the fence closed as several hounds slammed their bodies into the fence, causing the whole thing to rattle and bend. I made a beeline for him, stunner firing off several rounds, each one catching a different creature that dropped to the ground. Five remained, jumping at the fence, snapping their jaws, growling and snarling in frustration at the gate that kept them from Matias.

I fired my stunner again, catching one that was trying to climb its way up and sending it back to the ground with a hard thud. I fired once more, but this time, nothing happened.

What the—?

I tried again, and still nothing happened. Shit! I was out of charges. I needed another battery clip. I whirled around, looking for my gun, and caught sight of Wes. He was down on one knee, firing his gun in rapid succession as more and more hellhounds came rounding the bend of the tower.

Headshot, headshot, left shoulder, headshot, body shot, body shot, right shoulder, head shot.

Each shot pierced the night with a bang, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that, at that moment, I was incredibly turned on. He was dirty, bloodied, scraped up to no end, and definitely at least one of those things had gotten a bite in his upper thigh. But watching him nail those bastards, one after the other with such amazing precision, had me fired up like nothing else. Because Wes was one sexy badass.

And I totally loved it.

Wes pulled the trigger to fire off another round, only to realize that his magazine was empty. A scowl consumed his face as he ejected his mag and reached toward his tactical belt for another. I returned my attention to the gun lying yards from me, and took off running, sliding to a stop as I reached for it and snapped it up just as Matias yelled. Looking up, I heard it just as I saw the fence beginning to collapse from the sheer weight and constant barrage of hounds against it. Worst of all, one of them had managed to claw its way through the hole and was snapping its jaws at Matias, who was at the very edge of the cliff, about ready to fall off just as he aimed and fired his weapon at it. The beast collapsed to the ground. But that didn’t stop the next one from trying to push its way through, curling the chain link back as the remaining hounds fought to get through the hole.

“Matias!” I screamed, racing toward him as I pulled the slide back to load a bullet into the chamber. Only feet away, I pulled up, aimed, and fired one, then two rounds, killing the two beasts still on my side of the fence.

But I was too late.

The third scrambled through the hole just as Matias fired at him, lodging the bullet into the creature’s shoulder. But these things felt no pain, and it launched itself at Matias, sending him over the edge of the cliff.

I screamed.

Matias was gone, over the edge, and the hellhound with him. And I lost it. I felt the tears flood my vision as fear consumed me. I took off racing, not wanting to believe that Matias had just fallen to his death. It couldn’t be true! It just couldn’t!

Oh god, please no!

I reached the fence in seconds, grabbing at the hide of the hounds that stood in my way, pulling at their heavy limp bodies, trying to create enough space for me to crawl through the damn hole. Slowly, I pulled one aside, dragging its mangled body over the dirt, always aware of the constant sound of gunfire behind me. A quick look over my shoulder showed me that the onslaught was still coming, and Wes was doing everything he could to hold them back, but he was on his feet now, walking backwards toward me, toward the fence, as he kept firing away, ejecting mags, slamming new ones into place, and firing some more. There was no way he was going to hold them off much longer.

I grabbed onto the second dead hound and mustered all my strength from my damaged body to drag it out of the hole as I prayed. “Please,” I whispered under my breath. “Please don’t let him be dead…please!” I grabbed the final carcass and pulled, gritting my teeth, feeling my right arm scream in pain as blood oozed from the bite wound. My body ached as my fatigued muscles begged me to stop, begged me to give up. But I kept pulling, kept pushing my body to the limit. And time kept ticking… Every second I spent trying to move the disgusting, bloodied creatures was another second Matias was possibly clinging onto the side of the cliff or trying to swim in the waters of the ocean. But either of those was better than the far greater possibility that he was already dead.

Please, please, please…just let him be alive!

As I finally cleared enough space, I let out an exhausted breath as my muscles cramped and begged for rest. But I pushed past it, gritting my teeth as I urged my body to listen, to keep going, to keep fighting. I scrambled through the cut in the fence that had now become a large gaping hole, and raced to the edge of the cliff, looking down.

Calista was most of the way down, screaming up at Jacob to move out of the way. And there, dangling by his safety harness, was Matias, in an epic brawl with the beast that was caught up in his harness and ropes. Matias had a hold on the hound’s jaws, fighting to keep them open and away from his face.

“Mara!” Jacob screamed up at me. “The anchor!”

I shifted my gaze and watched as one of the three safety anchors just a few feet below me snapped, flying out of the rock face, and sent Matias flying down another several feet, causing him to lose his grip on the snout of the creature.

“Matias!” I screamed.

His body jerked as he reached the end of the line, and then yelled out as the beast flipped over and snapped its jaws onto his shoulder, dangling from Matias’s suspended body. Matias gripped at his shoulder.

Jacob yelled at me again. “It’s too heavy!”

Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, my brain chanted as panic consumed me.

“Shoot it!” Matias screamed. “Shoot it now!

Calista aimed her gun. “I can’t! I can’t get a clear shot!”

“Mara!” Jacob yelled. “Do something!”

I gripped my pistol and aimed, trying to get a clear view of the hound. But the creature kept wriggling and writhing, all the while causing Matias’s body to swing. I couldn’t get a clean shot. There was no way I was going to hit that ugly thing! Not without potentially shooting Matias instead.

“Do it!” Matias yelled, gripping his shoulder, his face contorted in pain.

“I can’t!” I screamed back, still trying to find a shot.

Chink!

The second safety anchor came flying out of the rock, and Matias flew down several more feet. But this time, there wasn’t enough line, and the force and sheer weight of Matias’s body and the hound, yanked on the safety line that was attached to Jacob, pulling him off the cliffside and down six feet, smacking into the cliffs as he fell.

“Jacob!” I screamed.

He tumbled down further, past Matias, until his body snapped as the line went taut. Matias screamed out as the hellhound thrashed its body, causing too much strain on the flesh and bone of Matias’s shoulder.

Blondie screamed this time. “Mara! The anchor! It’s coming out!” My heart hammered itself against my ribs as I caught sight of the last safety anchor slowly coming loose from the rock, centimeter by centimeter, slipping out of place.

“Shoot it!” Matias said in a desperate cry. “Now!”

I swallowed hard, and took aim, watching as his body moved with the force of the thrashing hound attached to him, and then seeing my brother’s limp form just past him. Jacob wasn’t moving at all. He must have hit his head in the free fall.

Oh my god…what if he’s already dead?

I felt paralyzed, my mind screaming to do something, anything! But my body was completely frozen in place. It was too much! Too much pressure. What if I shot him? What if I became responsible for Matias’s death? I couldn’t…I wouldn’t!

“Do it now!” he screamed again just as I heard the anchor give another centimeter.

With a shuddering breath, I took aim one last time, watching as my brother and Matias dangled hundreds of feet from the ocean as the single, last safety anchor was about to break. I watched as the creature thrashed, causing Matias to writhe in pain as his flesh tore from his body. I had to try. I placed gentle pressure on the trigger, prepared to pull as the creature’s body swung to the right, just out of view, and then came swinging back as it flailed out to the left, away from Matias.

I exhaled and pulled the trigger.

65: Three, Two, One…

The shot rang out, a thunderous boom that could barely be heard over the sound of the crashing waves and the relentless shrill of the alarm that never ceased. The ringing in my ears and pounding of my heart intensified as the bullet sailed into the night and buried itself in flesh. Matias yelled out, gripping his shoulder even harder, causing my free hand to fly to my mouth as my greatest fear came to fruition.

No!

The beast yelped, releasing its hold on Matias’s shoulder. It went falling, thrashing, howling down, until its body smacked a jagged edge of rock, flipping it over before it hit another, and then finally splashed into the ocean below. My hand came to rest on my chest, pushing back against my beating heart that was threatening to break through my ribs.

“Matias! Are you okay?” I called back to him.

He shifted in his harness and then lifted his hand and gave a thumbs-up, before going limp again in a moment of total exhaustion. I exhaled long and hard, finally releasing a breath as my lungs screamed for air. Matias was fine. I hadn’t hit him. I thought I did, but I hadn’t, and the relief I felt was so intense, so gratifying, that I almost collapsed to the ground.

“Mara! Go!”

The voice came from behind me, and as I whirled around, the memory of wave after wave of hellhounds with Wes being the only thing that held them back, hit me like a train. And then memory became reality as I watched dozens and dozens of those things racing toward the fence as Wes desperately searched for another mag. Then the color drained from his face as he came to a frightening realization.

He was out of ammo.

He dropped the gun and started rushing for the fence toward me, but several of the mangy hounds were right on his tail.

“Wes!” I screamed, and I rushed toward him, through the gaping hole in the fence, and pulled up to aim.

Three shots.

Three blasts through the night.

And each bullet struck true.

Headshot, headshot, headshot.

The three beasts fell limp to the ground, one right after the other, sparing Wes and giving him just a few more seconds of leeway. He kept running, never looking back. I watched as the pack growled, snarled, yipped and yapped, as their crazed eyes zeroed in on their target. One pulled away from the pack, coming in hot and fast as it gained on him. Then it leaped into the air.

“Wes!” I screamed, aiming my gun and firing again.

But this time…I missed.

The creature slammed right into Wes, causing him to fall face first into the graveled dirt.

Oh my god!

The beast pulled its head back, jaws wide open in a victorious snarl as it struck down, teeth ready to tear off Wes’s head.

BANG!

The shot rang out, through the space between gaping teeth, and blew out the back of the hound’s head, sending brain matter everywhere, as it fell limp on top of Wes.

I watched as smoke curled up from the end of my barrel, stunned and frozen in place by fear and sheer surprise.

Wes pushed up off the ground, causing the beast to flop off him, and then he was back on his feet, racing toward me. I blinked several times, trying to get my mind back in the game, gratitude filling my soul. As Wes reached me, he grabbed my wrist, twirled me around, and then we were both consuming the few feet left between us and the safety of the fence.

As we reached it, Wes pushed me through first, and followed in after me. I whipped around and watched as he tried to pull back the curled ends of the chain link fence back together, closing the space as best as he could. The fence would be of no use if there was a massive hole for these monsters to get through. A quick glance beyond the gate showed me we had all of twenty seconds before we would be shit out of luck.

Crap… I tried to help him, pulling on the left side, uncurling the fence as best as I could while he yanked on the right.

Ten.

Wes pulled out several zip ties and slipped one through a link.

Nine.

He zipped it closed as best as he could.

Eight.

I heard the snarling of a hound coming right up on us.

Seven.

“Get out of here!” he ordered. But I ignored him, just grabbing another tie from his hand.

Six.

I looped it through and tried to cinch it close to the bottom as best I could.

Five.

“Hurry up, Wes,” I urged as I saw one of the hounds leap toward us.

Four.

Wes glanced up as he pulled out a third tie.

Three.

He looped it through fast, twisting the tie to cinch it.

Two.

“Wes!” I screamed as I watched the beast fly through the air at the fence.

One.

“Done!” he yelled as the creature slammed into the fence, the zip ties stretching, but holding against the force of impact.

We only had three of those stupid, plastic things in place when the pack of mutated dogs slammed themselves into the fence, causing the whole thing to bow out toward us. We leaped backwards out of instinct, and I felt as my foot hit the edge of the cliff, slipped, and caused me to fall to the ground as my foot flew off the ledge.

Oh my god…too close. Way too close.

I scrambled to my feet as the beasts kept piling up against the fence, causing the entire thing to lean toward us, consuming more and more of the very little precious space we had left.

“Fuck,” Wes growled. “This thing’s going to give any second.” As if on cue, one of the zip ties snapped off, creating a big enough hole that one hound got its entire head through, snapping its jaws at us.

I tried to take another step back, but there was nowhere left to go. Nowhere left to run. And those yellowed teeth were only a few feet away.

“Get your harness on,” he scowled as he grabbed one off the floor to the side of him, barely missing the snapping jaws as he did.

I turned to see the other set, and grabbed it, making quick work of slipping my legs through the straps and shimming it up to buckle everything in place. Wes started attaching the safety anchors, doing the best he could to find suitable spots in the rock. With my harness in place, I grabbed the lengths of rope and began attaching them to the safety anchors. Wes snapped his carabiner to the main anchor, and then attached the opposite end to his harness just as we heard another snap.

I turned to look, but I really wished I hadn’t. The second zip tie holding back the hound snapped, and the nasty thing lunged through, maw open wide, right at my face. I lifted my arms up instinctively, trying to keep the red stained teeth from biting my face, but it wouldn’t matter in the end. His teeth sunk into my forearm as the entire weight of his massive body—all 150 pounds or more of him—slammed into me, throwing me backwards through the air and into the night sky.

I heard Wes yell. Heard him call my name. But it all sounded muffled and far away. All I heard with perfect clarity was the steady beat of my heart as I fell into the night. The hound released my arm, falling past me as I watched Wes grow smaller and smaller.

It was then that I realized one thing… One fatal mistake.

I attached all the ropes to the safety anchors, but…

I never attached them to my harness.

66: Wrong

Cold water wrapped itself around me like a deadly blanket. All of me was surrounded by the darkness. I was lost. Blind. Disoriented. I felt the wounds sting with the salt, an agonizing burn that begged for relief. I kicked hard, trying to find the surface as I held my breath, time ticking away. All the while, I kept thinking about everything I had done wrong. The mistakes I would never get a chance to correct.

I had broken Wes’s heart.

I had taken a wounded boy, forced him to come out from beyond his guarded walls, only to shatter him into a million pieces.

What kind of person did that?

What kind of person earned someone’s trust just to break it?

I didn’t do it to hurt him. I did it to protect him from a fate that seemed worse than this broken hell I had cast him into. But I broke him all the same.

I kicked again, trying my best to swim, but the weight of my clothes, my ammo, and everything else, dragged me down deeper. How far did the ocean go? Would I ever reach the bottom, lost forever in the depths of the sea? Or would something eat me first? What monsters lived in this watery grave?

I opened my eyes, but it didn’t matter. The darkness was so thick, so intense, that having them closed was just as bad as having them open.

I tried kicking again, the weight of my boots and waterlogged pants using the little reserved strength I had left to push my legs. But I couldn’t tell if I was going anywhere. Not being able to see, to hear, to sense anything but the stinging cold left me lost. Confused and disoriented, unsure if I was going up or down, or if I was moving at all.

Then, the panic started to set in as tightness formed in my chest. I was going to die. It was already a miracle that I had survived the fall instead of hitting one of those jagged pillars of death, but—

Oh my god…was I already dead?

What if I had hit those rocks? What if I was already a splattered mess on the side of the cliff and this…this was my hell? A watery grave that I would spend eternity in, always fighting for breath, always aching for air, but never getting it ever again.

My heart battered itself in my chest, fear escalating within me. This was it. It was already all over, and I never got a chance to tell Wes that I loved him. I never got to tell him I was sorry. Because after everything I had experienced with Raúl, all the lies and deceit…I had turned around and done the same thing to someone else.

I was no better than him.

I had schemed from the very beginning to trick him, to trick everyone. To pretend to marry Wes only to run away with my brother and never return. It didn’t matter that I changed my mind. I changed it because I fell in love, not because I was trying to spare him. How fucking rotten of me. And then when I faced my first sign of trouble, my first barrier toward a possible happy ending, I jumped ship like a coward. And I didn’t even give Wes the chance to make his own decision, his own choice. Because why?

Because I was scared, and it suited me better to do what I wanted. To turn tail and hightail it out of the North so I didn’t have to deal with the scary bad man.

Pa-lease… Give me a break.

I was Raúl’s daughter.

And I was no better than him.

And Wes deserved so much better than that. So much better than me. Because I truly was just another de la Puente. And I was no good for anyone.

The realization that I was just another spider in the horrible web that was this reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I was just another iteration of the same sack of lies. Sure, I thought I was doing it for the greater good, but how many awful people make decisions thinking that they are in the right? How many people lie, cheat, steal, or kill, all under the impression that they were doing the right thing?

All of them.

And in the end, it didn’t matter, did it? In the end, you still lied. You still cheated someone else. You still stole. You still took a life. Why you did it didn’t even matter in the end.

Because you were still wrong.

I was wrong.

And Wes deserved better.

The anguish in my heart because of everything I had done was too powerful, too all-consuming. The searing pain in my lungs—the ache for breath—overrode my mind’s command to continue holding it. My mouth shot open, and I inhaled desperately as salty water flooded into my mouth, swirling into my throat, and filling my lungs. The experience brought nothing but a burning, fiery sensation into my chest, my eyes flying open from the shock.

All this time, the memory of Chase being burned alive at the arena scared me, haunted my dreams. And I feared my own death by fire in that colosseum. Never in a million years would I imagine that drowning would feel like burning alive from the inside out.

I burned.

My body convulsed. The pain set off mental alarms as panic caused me to inhale more ocean water, sealing my fate.

I burned from the inside out.

And then it all went away as my body grew too heavy to move.

Then…

I died.

67: Flashback

The first thing I noticed was warmth. I had been feeling cold for so long, my body going numb, succumbing to the horrible burn inside of me. But the burn was gone now…and I felt nothing. Nothing except for the warmth that wrapped around me. And it was soft, cozy.

The next thing I noticed was the steady beeping sound. It was soft, but it came every five seconds, consistent and dependable. And frankly, it was annoying, which is why I took in a deep, slow breath. It felt good, full and deep, but it also caused a sting in my lungs, surprising me, and my eyes flew open.

I was in a familiar room, all white and sterile. My face was turned toward a window, and sunshine slipped in through the partially closed blinds. It only took me another moment to notice the monitor beeping beside me, as well as the IV bag hanging with a delicate clear tube dipping down and then up onto my bed, attached to the needle nestled in the crook of my elbow.

A hospital. I was in the hospital.

I blinked several times, trying to remember everything that happened. Finding Jacob, that horrible shrill alarm, and the never-ending wave of hellhounds. I remembered my brother, limp, hanging from a line connected to Matias. And Blondie…she was there, too. And Wes. I remembered Wes fighting off those things, and I remembered helping him. We almost escaped, but then…

I fell.

I fell, and I drowned.

My heart pounded as the memory of being lost in the depths of the ocean sent fear jolting through me. Suddenly, I was back in the sea, fighting to hold my breath, fighting to breathe. And the burn. The burn of the ocean water as it assaulted my lungs felt like it was happening all over again. I started hyperventilating, but the air I dragged into my lungs stung, causing me to panic more. How was I still drowning? How was I back in the sea when I was in a warm bed just seconds ago?

I was dying all over again. Drowning all over again!

“Mara!”

I heard him—his voice—but it was so dark in the water. So dark and heavy.

“Mara!” His voice screamed at me again. But I kept drowning, suffocating in the deep abyss.

“Come back to me, Mara…”

Wes? Where was he? How could he be here? Or was this some cruel joke my mind was playing on me? Some sick, twisted way of punishing me even more for what I had done?

“Mara!” This time, his voice was shrill and desperate. “Stay with me!”

And then it all snapped into place. A sharp breath, several rapid blinks, and suddenly I was back in the hospital. Warm, dry, safe. And standing right over me, hands cradling my cheeks, was Wes.

My vision focused on him as my chest rose and fell with jagged breaths. Was it really him? Was I really safe? Was I actually alive? How could I still be alive?

“Hey,” he whispered gently. “It’s okay. You’re okay,” he reassured. His eyes burned like molten gold and glistened with tears that looked near to falling. But he cleared his throat, swallowing back his own emotions.

“Wes?” I still couldn’t believe it. I still couldn’t believe that, after all of that, I was still alive. We were still alive.

“It’s me,” he reassured me as he stroked my hair.

Relief washed over me, but no sooner than it did, every ounce of fear that had rattled me to my core at that stupid prison came rushing back with a vengeance. I blinked several times, feeling the tears fill my vision, and then I broke. A sob escaped my lips, the tears began to flow, and every piece of me collapsed into itself as my body shook with the intensity of it all.

Because I had died.

Because I saw Jim murdered right before my eyes.

Because I thought I had lost Matias, only to save him.

Because I saw my brother again, and then almost lost him at the very end.

Because I saw more carnage, more blood, more grotesque imagery than I ever wished upon my enemy.

Because I rescued Jacob, only to abandon the lives of so many others.

Because Wes lived when I thought for sure he was gone forever.

Because I was alive…and I didn’t deserve to live.

It was too much for anyone. Too much trauma and horror for anyone to experience, and I crumbled under the sheer weight of it all. I cried into my hands, shielding myself from the world, and then I felt him. I felt Wes shift his weight in the bed, and suddenly, I was in his arms. He wrapped himself around me, pulling me into the safety of his embrace.

I smelled the clean scent of him. Not the cologne I knew him to wear, but the scent of the first spring rain and the natural freshness of eucalyptus leaves rustling in a fall breeze. He was the end of a season and the birth of a new one all in one breath. And with each shuddering breath, the aroma opened my lungs, expanded my airways, and gave me life as though I had never truly breathed before. It soothed me. It eased my aching heart, calmed the storm within me, and slowly settled me until there was nothing left inside of me.

I shivered as I closed my eyes, listening to the steady thump of Wes’s heart and the firm comfort that was his arms around me, and then I exhaled, letting it all go. I felt him shift, slowly loosening his grip.

How did I screw this all up? How did I manage to completely destroy everything as badly as I did? I gave this up. I gave up Wes. And for what? Nothing I planned came to fruition. It all backfired, and now here I was, back where I started, back at square one. Only this time, I had hurt one of the people I loved more than anything else, and I didn’t even know what to do about it.

Truth. Tell him the truth.

But would it be enough? If I explained to him what really happened, would he forgive me? Would he be willing to give me another chance? And even if he did…even if he forgave me for everything, it didn’t change what I was.

I was Raúl’s daughter.

I was no better than him.

And Wes deserved better.

I shuddered at the thought, scared of what it meant but confident in its truth. And slowly, I pulled away from Wes to look at him. Gone were the tears from his eyes, and his unreadable mask was firmly in place. His face was mottled with bruises, and a gash above his brow was neatly sewed up with six little black stitches. The corner of his lip was cut, but looked like it was healing okay, and I noticed his one shoulder looked bulkier than the other—probably because of swelling or bandaging under his shirt, or both. Probably both…

He looked like crap.

I wanted to tell him as much. An older version of me would have totally teased him about it. But we weren’t in that place anymore. And I wasn’t in a position to give him crap when I was sure I looked just as bad.

“Wes,” I muttered, “I need to—”

“Knock, knock,” another voice said as the actual sound of a knock greeted my ears. I looked over and saw Matias, a bouquet of daisies and lilies in his hands.

“Matias,” I said, feeling relief consume me. He was alive too. He had made it out just like Wes and me.

“Hey,” he said cheerfully. But no sooner was the word out, his eyes darting from me and then to Wes, did the energy in the room suddenly shift into an awkward place, and his smile faltered.

Wes stiffened and then cleared his throat as he stood up.

Oh no… Oh no, no, no, no. “Wes,” I started. “It’s not what it seems—”

Wes lifted a hand at me, effectively silencing my protest. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said as he walked to the door. His voice was stiff, hard, and emotionless.

“Wes,” I tried again. But he didn’t stop. He didn’t listen. He ignored me, walking out the door and out of sight.

And just like that, Wes was gone.

68: Detained

Matias remained silent, looking out the door and then facing me with an I’m sorry expression on his face. As if to make up for it, he held up the bouquet.

“Got you something,” he offered with his boyish smile.

I couldn’t help it…I smiled back. It was so good to see him. To see him alive, standing, walking—well, limping—but moving and just…alive. “I’m so happy you’re okay,” I said, my voice cracking.

Being the gentle soul that he always was, Matias caught it, and limped his way to the bed, taking a seat on the edge. He reached out and brushed away a stray tear as he rested the flowers on my lap. “Hey,” he cooed, “it’s okay. We all made it…including your brother.”

My eyes widened at the news, my heart skipping a joyful beat. “Jacob’s alive too?”

Something flickered in his expression, but he forced a smile. “Yeah, he’s alive too.”

“How—what happened?”

His brows furrowed as he grabbed a lock of my hair and twisted it gently between his fingers. “You don’t remember?”

I blinked, trying to recall it all, but the memories were choppy, lacking fluidity and order. “I remember most things, I think. But so much feels blurry.”

“Hmm,” he murmured incredulously.

“What? Why did you do that?” I didn’t like the way he made that sound.

“Nothing,” he said too quickly. “It’s fine.”

“Matias,” I said, drawing out the syllables of his name in warning.

He looked away, grabbing at the flowers again. “It’s fine, Mara. Nothing you should be worried about.”

“Ugh,” I grumbled. “I swear, Matias, if you don’t spill the beans—”

“Okay, okay,” he said with a chuckle, hands up in a defensive position. “Look, the doc says your memory might…might not be the most reliable for a while.”

“What?” The jerk laughed again. Apparently, my expression of total disbelief and horror was amusing to him. “It’s not funny, Matias.”

“I know,” he mustered between chuckles, “but your face totally is.” I reached behind me and grabbed my pillow to whack him, but then totally regretted it, wincing in pain as my arm throbbed. Catching it, Matias reached out and pushed my hands down, holding them in my lap. “Try not to make sudden movements. You’re beat up just as bad as I am.”

I glared, causing him to snicker again. I swear, I was going to beat this boy in his sleep. “Matias,” I warned again.

“All right, all right…I’m sorry.” He sighed, but the smile lingered on his face for a moment before it finally dropped and the seriousness returned. “Look, when you fell off the cliff, you landed in the ocean. Remember that?”

My mind recalled the eternal darkness, the burn in my lungs, and instantly I felt my heart quicken. I shook my head, trying to get myself out of the memory. The last thing I needed was to be mentally back in that place again. “Yeah, I remember.”

He nodded and continued. “You were in that water for a while, Mara. And the entire time you were in there, I never once saw you come up for air.”

I swallowed, feeling my chest tighten. “Did I…did I die?”

Matias parted his lips but hesitated, his eyes flickering as he calculated his response. “I—I don’t know. You were unconscious when he pulled you out of the water. It took us a while to revive you too, but eventually the CPR worked and you came to. But the doc said that since he doesn’t know how long you were unconscious underwater, there’s no way for him to know if there’s…” He let the sentence drop, the word hanging right there.

“What, Matias? There’s what?”

He looked away from me, hesitating, not wanting to tell me.

This time, when I said his name, it came out as a plea. “Matias, please…”

He glanced at me as he sighed heavily. “Look, there’s a chance that there could be brain damage. But the doc said his test showed your brain looked good. Everything was registering normally, and he believes that there shouldn’t be any permanent damage.”

“No permanent damage?” I repeated.

He offered me a smile. “Yeah. He said there could be some short-term memory loss, but he really thinks that even that is slim. You’re going to be fine, Mara. Just fine…” He reached out and caressed my cheek again, and I closed my eyes to feel into it.

I was going to be fine. The doctor believed it, and I needed to believe it too. I took in a deep breath, feeling a twinging pain in my chest as I held it, and released it slowly. “So…what happened? I remember falling off the cliff and I remember falling into the water. But that’s it.”

He shifted in the bed, curling one knee up next to mine while his other leg hung off the edge. “There’s not much else, really. Calista helped me with your brother since he was out. He hit his head when he fell, but he’s fine now,” he added quickly. “Between the two of us, we dragged him to the dinghy and then we drove it out past the breaking point and signaled the boat to come get us.”

“What about Wes?”

Matias licked his lips. “He had you. Once we got the boat to pick us up, we searched for you guys. It took us a minute, but we found you.”

“Wes was with me?” My brows knitted together in confusion. “But I don’t remember him falling.”

Matias smiled softly, placing his hand over my own. “He didn’t fall, Mara. When you fell, he jumped in after you.”

I inhaled sharply, chest tightening. Wes jumped in after me? “What?” The single word came out as a whisper.

“He did. He didn’t even hesitate. I watched you fall off the cliff, and then suddenly Wes was diving in after you. None of us know how the hell you both made it past all those rocks, but you did. And once he found you, he swam you out as far from the rocks as he could. And then he did everything he could to keep you above water until we found you guys.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears beginning to fall again. Wes saved me. He saved me like he always had. Always coming after me, no matter how bad the odds. Even after I screwed everything up between us, he came after me anyway.

“Once we got you on the boat, he started CPR and got you breathing again. But you were completely out of it. Nothing you said made sense, and you were shaking. We got you as warm as we could, and we got the hell out of there. Once we got back to shore, they medivacked you to the nearest medical unit to stabilize you.” He furrowed his brows. “You really don’t remember any of that?”

I racked my brain, but the last thing I remember was being in the water. “No. I…I can’t remember anything.”

“Wow… Well, I’m sure it’ll come back eventually. The doc said any memory loss would be temporary,” he reminded me.

At least that was good news. But it didn’t matter, really. I was alive. We were all alive, except for poor Harper. And Wes…Wes saved me. My heart suddenly ached. “I screwed it all up, didn’t I?”

“What do you mean?”

“With Wes. I screwed it all up.” Matias stayed quiet, and I knew it was silent confirmation. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Matias cleared his throat softly. “Mara, I’ll be the first to admit that you and Wes being over totally fits into my fantasy of you and I getting back together.”

I rolled my eyes, “Matias…”

He lifted a hand. “Hear me out.” He cleared his throat again. “I know this whole thing is screwed up. I don’t know all the details with President Calvernon, but if everything you told me is true, then I understand why you did what you did. But it didn’t work. It didn’t work, and now we’re here, your brother included. And I don’t see a way out of this mess without—” He hesitated, licking his lips. “Without telling him. You’ve got to tell him the truth. You’ve got to tell him everything.”

I felt heat flash throughout my body as the thought of confronting Wes sent chills down my spine. I knew Matias was right. I had to come clean. Wes had to know the truth, but… “What if he never forgives me? What if lying to him is too big of a betrayal for him to ever love me again?” Each word felt like a stab to my heart.

Matias’s eyes shimmered, and I knew that the next words he shared came from the depths of his soul. “Mara, if Wes loves you half as much as I do, then there is nothing you could ever do or say that would take that love away.”

My lips parted, my hand coming to rest on my chest as love for this boy and sorrow for all that we had and lost filled my heart. I didn’t know what to say. How do you respond to someone who tells you that?

“Matias, I’m so sorry.” Because I was. I was sorry that things didn’t work for us. And even though that whole thing wasn’t my fault, I still felt bad.

Matias leaned in, blinking to clear the tears from his eyes, and I could smell the citrusy notes of him, reminding me of passionate moments in the dark. He smiled, but hurt played on the lines of face. “The only thing I regret is not being there for you when I should have been. Don’t apologize, okay? This was my doing, and I’m a big enough guy to admit that.” Sincerity filled his gaze for a moment before he blinked and grimaced. “Don’t let him go, Mara. Don’t make the same mistake twice. Tell Wes the truth and let him make his own decisions.”

I nodded, feeling the tears welling up again.

“And,” he started with a devious smirk. “If he’s too much of a hot-head to take you back, then maybe you and I can work something out,” he finished with a wink.

I laughed, feeling the fear and tension easing out of my system. “You’re an opportunist, you know that?”

He leaned back with a shrug. “Since when is that a bad thing?”

I sighed. It felt good to be like this with him again. “So, how’s my brother? You said he was okay, right? Did they figure out what Raúl did to him?”

Matias swallowed hard, the smile wiped clean from his face. “Uh, yeah. He’s fine.”

I cocked a brow. “What? What’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?”

Matias turned away from me, shaking his head. “He’s fine. He regained consciousness and all that.”

“And?” I pushed, dread pooling in my abdomen.

Matias closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in slow, deep breaths before facing me. “Mara, that procedure they did on him. It’s not good. And…”

“What?” I squeaked out. “And what, Matias?”

Matias sighed again. “The North detained him. Sasha’s trying everything she can to get him released, but they’re not budging. They’re going to make him stand trial.”

69: Royally Screwed

It all just sucked. None of this was fair. And the worst part was, I was stuck in the damn hospital.

Poor Matias…I interrogated him for almost half an hour trying to find out every detail. No sooner had we arrived back in the North when Jacob was detained. He was conscious by then, but battered and bruised like the rest of us. And Charles was quick to have a waiting party anxiously expecting our arrival. The second our plane landed, Northern military officers seized Jacob and took him into custody.

That was two days ago.

On the positive side, they had been treating Jacob’s wounds and were trying to figure out what Raúl had done to him with the mystery procedure he had undergone. On the bad side, Jacob was refusing to talk to anyone but me, and that was driving Charles Calvernon insane. But no matter what Charles threatened, my brother refused to speak to anyone, insisting that he would only speak to me and to me alone.

The problem was, I’d been in the hospital, and the doctor refused to let me go until he was convinced I had recovered enough. Of course, Charles tried to insist to the doctor that it was imperative I be released. No one knew I had broken up with Wes except the four of us that had been there. The ring still glimmered on my finger, and Sasha was quick to highlight the need to ensure the health and safety of Wes’s promised. She cornered Charles into agreeing that my wellbeing was of the utmost importance. If he wanted to maintain his facade of being a caring ruler, he had no other choice.

But time was of the essence, and I knew it. Jacob had said back at the tower that something was coming. And every moment I stayed stuck in the hospital was another second he was being held prisoner under Charles’s direction. Who knows how much longer Charles would hold out before he resorted to more drastic measures of making Jacob talk. I had to get to him…soon.

***

The following day, I was surprised when Giza showed up, along with General Bynes and a nurse I didn’t recognize.

“Sir?” I asked, trying to sit up in bed.

“Miss de la Puente,” he said with a smile. “It’s good to see you well.”

“Thank you, sir.” I looked at him and then to Bynes, but she only glared at me. I turned my attention to Giza. “Why are you here?”

“You’re being released. I’m here to escort you—”

“We’re taking you to see your brother,” Bynes interjected. Giza gave her a nasty look.

“Jacob?” That perked me up. I instantly pulled back my covers and started to scramble out of bed.

“Slow down,” Giza said, placing an arm on my shoulder. “There’s no need to rush. We’ve brought you a fresh set of clothing so you can get cleaned up. The nurse will pull out your IV, and then we’ll get ourselves moving. We’ll step out so that you can get ready.”

I watched them leave, resisting the urge to yank out the IV myself. I was finally going to see my brother again. The nurse moved like molasses, but once she was done, I got dressed and was out of there. I didn’t even bother to look in a mirror.

A small, black limo picked us up, and then we were off, driving through the city and out into the countryside. Time passed slowly, but all I did was imagine seeing my brother, having him safe in my arms. Sometimes, my mind wandered to images of hellhounds, causing my heart to quicken. But anytime I felt the anxiety climb, I would remind myself that it was over. I survived. I was safe.

Of course, no amount of positive self-talk prepared me for what I was going to encounter. We approached a twelve-foot-high fence with razor wire circling the top. And instantly, I was transported back to the tower, hearing the alarm relentlessly screaming, death howling at the moon.

“de la Puente!”

I snapped out of it, inhaling sharply as Bynes stared at me like I was an idiot. I looked around, realizing I was still in the limo, but we had pulled up in front of a building. No alarms were blaring. No flashing red or green lights. Just the sun. And we were well past the security gate and well within the prison. I ran my fingers through my hair, noticing my breathing was quick and shallow.

“Miss de la Puente?” Giza called.

I blinked and saw that the door to the car was being held open for me. Bynes and Giza were already out, staring at me like I had gone nuts.

I swallowed. “Uh, yeah…sorry.” I climbed out and rubbed my shoulders, holding myself. I had to get it together.

“Follow us, de la Puente,” Bynes sneered before she turned on her heels and marched into the building.

Giza stepped toward me, placing a heavy, gentle hand on my shoulder. “Are you all right?” His honey-colored eyes were warm and sweet, a side I seldom saw of the Sergeant Major, but always knew existed.

I nodded, offering him a smile. The last thing I needed was for anyone to think I needed to be placed back in the hospital. “I’m fine.” His eyes searched mine, but I did my best to reveal nothing, becoming a blank slate. After a moment, he nodded and then extended his hand outward, letting me go first. Blowing out a breath, I looked at the large brick building, noticing the rows and rows of barred windows, and then walked inside.

I really didn’t pay attention to what was in there or what anything looked like. I didn’t want to. I just stayed focused on Bynes and tried my best to blur the rest out. I couldn’t risk something reminding me of the tower. Jacob was my focus. Nothing else mattered.

We twisted and turned through hallways, badged in through doors, and then took an elevator that I thought was going to go up, but, as it turned out, went down into a basement level. And when the doors dinged and opened, a damp, earthy smell invaded my nose—musty and mossy, wet. I didn’t like it. But I swallowed and pushed myself forward, following Bynes through the dreariest hallway I had ever seen. And at the very end was a large metal door with a tiny square window with two metal bars running through it. Five locks and bolts ran vertically down the length of the door. We stopped right in front of it. I wasn’t sure what they thought my brother was capable of, but it seemed silly to have so much security for one man. And a broken man at that.

Bynes turned sharply, eyeing me. “You’re to ask your brother for all the information he has on Raúl and the Telvian army. He is then to sign this paper”—she shoved a document into my hand with a pen—“and then you are to come out.”

I was confused. I looked at the paper and then held it up at Bynes. “What is this?”

Bynes rolled her shoulders back, speaking matter-of-factly. “President Calvernon said you would know exactly what this document is. He told me to tell you to remember your part of the bargain.”

“Wait a minute,” Giza stepped in. “The agreement was that Mara would speak to her brother and find out what this thing is he continues to hint at. There was nothing about signing documents—”

“This is none of your concern, Giza. This is a private, family matter between the President and his future daughter-in-law,” she pushed back with a bite in her tone.

Giza’s gaze hardened. He looked at me. “Mara, is this true?”

I hesitated and then glanced quickly at the document in my hand, skimming the words. It all clicked. I had agreed to make my brother sign the treaty that gave the North control of Telvia. I sighed heavily, feeling the weight of the mess I had gotten myself into. The worst part was, it was never supposed to come to this. And now that I was here, I didn’t know what to do or how to get out of it.

“Mara?”

I glanced back at Giza and nodded. “Yes, it’s true.” He kept a steady gaze on me, trying to read between the lines. But I had nothing to offer him.

“There, you see? Now in you go, de la Puente,” Bynes ordered, turning around and undoing the five different locks and bolts securing my brother. The door opened into a damp, concrete square room with nothing but a bucket and a measly, disgusting mattress—no sheets—that I assumed was white at some point in its existence. But I surely hoped not, because its current shade of brown and gray left me nauseous. And, sitting in the opposite corner, was my brother.

“Jacob,” I breathed out, rushing to him and crouching down on the floor to hug him as the door was closed behind me.

“Mara?” He pulled back a second to see that it was really me, and then scooped me into his arms, hugging me forcefully. “Mara! I thought you were dead! I thought the reason they wouldn’t let me see you was—oh, it doesn’t matter. You’re alive!” He pulled me back again, running his hand through my hair and cupping my cheek.

“I’m okay. I would have come sooner, but I’ve been in the hospital recovering.” I pulled back and looked at him. His gray clothing was grimy, just like the rest of his cell, with pitiful gray shoes that looked hardly better than socks. Someone replaced the bandages on his head, which was good, but he was still mottled with bruises—an array of colors from yellow to deep purple—all in different stages of healing.

“Have they hurt you?” I asked.

“No. But the accommodations are less than delightful,” he added with a half-hearted laugh.

I smiled at him, touching his cheek. “Oh Jacob, I told you this would happen. I told you we couldn’t come back.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I knew what I was doing. But we’ve got to talk, Mara. Dad…what he’s up to…they don’t stand a chance.”

Fear needled in me. “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”

He exhaled sharply, as though he was trying to muster his strength but failing. “It’s bad, Mara.”

“Jacob,” I said more forcefully. “What is it?”

He closed his eyes, turning his face away from me. “It’s my fault. I…I created the technology. I designed it. But I—” He shook his head, body shivering.

I ran my hand down his cheek. “Shh, it’s okay. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”

“I’m sorry, Mara. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done.” Tears began to stream down his face. “I’m so sorry.”

I tried to take his shoulders in my hands, but he wouldn’t let me comfort him, pushing me away. “Jacob, it’s—”

“Stop telling me it’s fine,” he snapped. “You don’t know what I’ve done. And if we don’t do something, it’s over. The Dissenters, the North, the East…it’ll all be gone”—he snapped his fingers—“like that.”

A shiver ran down my spine. Jacob was always the calm one. Steady, solid, secure. Seeing him so upset caused the hairs on the back of my neck to rise. I swallowed and then took a deep breath, trying my best to ease my nerves.

“Okay,” I whispered. “What is it? What’s Raúl planning?”

Jacob stayed quiet for a moment, closing his eyes as he took several calming breaths. The seconds ticked—one, two—and then he opened his eyes, fire burning deep within him. “Do you remember the processing plant? The one in the forest? The one where we cap—” he faltered, turning his head away from me for a second as if collecting his emotional reserves before returning his gaze to me. “Where we captured Chelsea?”

Oh god, where was this going? “I remember.”

“Did you ever see what we were building there? What we were making?”

Memories of the explosion, of the soldiers firing at Chelsea, Wes, and Matias, all flooded my mind. “I never saw it, but the others said there were these microchips.”

“Nanochips,” Jacob corrected. “That’s right. Did they ever figure out what they did?”

I narrowed my eyes. “No.”

“Then you better call a meeting with all the big players of this rebellion, because none of us are going to stand a chance the second those chips are activated.”

“Why? What are they? What’s going on?” The questions came flying out of me faster than I could process them.

And when Jacob finally told me, the panic attack I had been pushing back since the hospital took over as the realization of what was coming collided with my reality. We were all about to be royally screwed.

70: NIT-V2

Ididn’t mess around. Once I knew what was going on, I took immediate action. And I wasn’t taking no for an answer. Not even Bynes was going to hold me back. This was bigger than her. Bigger than all of us. And we had to do something now.

I was just so grateful that Giza was there. Because if it had only been Bynes, the way everything happened next would have probably been very different. But Giza made it happen. The fire he lit under everyone’s asses had even Bynes giving him a wide berth. And only five hours later, we were in a huge situation room back at Fort Warren, and all the major players were present—even Jacob.

Thank goodness Giza was compassionate enough to order Jacob real clothing, a kindness Jacob told me he would never forget. Wearing the regulatory tan cargo pants and olive-green shirt, Jacob looked just as much as a Dissenter as anyone else in the room. And it was a very packed room.

On one side of the long, rectangular table sat Sasha, along with Giza and two other Dissenter commanders I didn’t recognize. On the opposite side, First in Command Gary Fisher sat next to Charles Calvernon, who eyed me suspiciously the moment he walked in through the door. General Bynes sat on the other side of him, and Lieutenant General Krous sat next to her. A hologram of a man I recognized from my review back at the rebel camp turned out to be Archer McClintok, First in Command of the East, and he was depicted on the opposite side of Sasha.

I stood at the head of the table, next to my brother, who was standing on his own two feet. The relief I felt when I saw him walking, felt some of his former strength, almost brought me to tears. And it felt so good to be standing beside him as equals, finally fighting for the same side. Across from me at the other far end of the table, was Wes.

His blond locks were tied back in that low ponytail that lit a slow, simmering burn deep within me. He was healing well, already looking so much better than he did previously. I wanted so badly to touch him, to hug him, to tell him I was wrong and to please forgive me. But it would have to wait. Because this was bigger than me and him, too. That fact, however, didn’t stop me from feeling the sting when I noticed he refused to look at me.

“Good evening,” Jacob began, clearing his throat, bringing the room to attention. I was in awe. As battered as he was, surrounded by a room of people that wanted nothing more than to see him hang, Jacob stood tall and confident, commanding the room effortlessly, as though it was always his to command. I didn’t think I could ever lead like he did. Not like this. But at least he was finally on our side. And everyone was going to figure out just what an asset he really was.

Only two people gave him the courtesy of a nod—Giza and Sasha. Wes remained quiet, stoic. Everyone else just glared, but he held their attention.

“I know you know who I am, and I’ll begin by saying that I am nothing but extremely grateful for the rescue operation you conducted to save my life. I know that my family and I have caused your people nothing but pain and suffering, and I am truly sorry for the part I have played in that.”

He paused for a few seconds, giving everyone a moment. “There is nothing I could ever do to repair the hardships I have caused on your people. But I intend to do everything in my power to make amends and right the wrongs cast upon this nation. And that is why I am here, why I’ve asked Mara to call this meeting. Because what I am about to tell you will make a difference. War is upon us, whether you realize it or not. And Raúl is more prepared than ever to face you all. And he will win.”

Jacob looked away from the crowd, staring at the table for a moment as he took several deep breaths. I inched toward him, touching his shoulder with my own, lending him my strength. He glanced at me, giving me a quick smile before returning his attention to the room. “With my aid, Raúl has created a piece of technology that will change the tide of this war if he’s given the chance to use it. We can’t let that happen. Several months ago, a small group of Dissenters stumbled upon a processing plant where we were developing a prototype.”

“The nanochips,” Sasha said, her eyes widening.

“Yes,” I confirmed. “NIT-V1.”

“NIT-V what?” Fisher asked.

“NIT-V1,” Jacob repeated. “Neural Implant Transmitter Version One. It was our first prototype for a cranial implant.”

“A cranial implant?” Bynes spoke up this time. “A new tracking device?”

“Would all of you just shut up?” I snapped. “Just listen for a minute. You’ll get your chance to ask questions, but this will go much faster if you just let him finish.” Everyone looked at me in surprise, but I ignored them and looked at my brother, motioning for him to continue.

He cocked a brow before looking back at the room. “NIT-V1 is more than a tracking device. It’s an implant that transmits electrical impulses into the brain, stimulating different neural networks and causing the brain to rewire itself over a short course of time. The nanochip is implanted in the back of the head, into the brainstem, and then attached to the amygdala. From there, we can send commands into the brain, telling it to stimulate running, jumping, kicking, and so on. Whatever we want the body to do, we can artificially stimulate the brain into giving the body the command through this implant.”

I looked at everyone in the room, but all I saw were blank stares. Did they not get it? Did no one understand what was happening?

“Pardon me,” Krous spoke up, “but are you trying to tell me you have created—”

“A device that can control the brain. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m telling you,” Jacob answered patiently.

“That’s impossible,” Bynes shot back. “That technology doesn’t exist and there’s no way you’re going to convince me that you just happened to figure it out.”

Charles stood up, glaring at me and then at my brother. “I’ve heard enough. It sounds to me like you’re both trying to postpone the inevitable. I am smart enough to see this ridiculous ploy to avoid standing trial—”

“It works!” I shouted at him, slamming my hand on the table to grab his attention. “The nanochip is real, and it works. I’ve seen it firsthand.”

“Mara,” Giza interjected, “what do you mean you’ve seen it?”

I faced him. “Chelsea. Chelsea was implanted with NIT-V1.”

Sasha’s body stiffened as her eyes grew wide with shock. “What?”

“Tell them, Jacob.”

Jacob glanced at me and then looked back at Sasha. “When Chelsea was captured at the processing plant, we took her in for questioning. She refused to answer, so my dad had her implanted with the device. She received the first prototype. We ordered her to tell us the location of the camp, as well as anything else she knew about the Dissenters. She—” he faltered, but forced himself forward. “She was very resistant to the transmissions, but we eventually got what we needed and then released her to return to the camp. The ultimate test was to see if we could get her to betray the Dissenters.”

Sasha’s jaw dropped. “You ordered her to kill me.”

Jacob’s brows furrowed, his lips set in a thin line as a pained expression crossed his face, but he nodded, admitting his crime. “Yes. We just never found out if it succeeded.” Sasha leaned back in her chair, the shock painted on her face, aging her. Jacob swallowed. “I knew it wasn’t perfect before we implanted Chelsea. It created a type of electrical feedback in the brain, causing many of the original test subjects to go mad. Several had short-term memory loss. It just wasn’t ready. But my father didn’t care and wanted to begin production right away. I’d been working on an improved version of the device, and I was almost done with it when Chelsea was captured. I had a partner in Telvia who was helping me. She knew all the plans, had access to all my work. She’s completed the project, and now my dad has an improved implant.”

This time, Wes spoke up. “NIT-V2.”

“That’s right,” Jacob confirmed.

“You were retrofitted with the implant.” Wes stated it plain and simple, as though he was telling the room the sky was blue. Emotionless.

“Yes,” Jacob confirmed again.

“What?” Bynes yelled, standing in her chair and pulling out her sidearm.

“Calm down!” I yelled, extending my arms out. “It’s not active, not yet.”

Giza stood up this time. “Sit down, General Bynes,” he ordered before setting his gaze on me. “What do you mean, it’s not active?”

Jacob spoke up. “The technology isn’t ready. Before the raid at the camp, Sally and I still had a lot of work to do, and we both knew it was going to take most of the summer. When I was at the tower, she visited me under the guise of not understanding my notes to complete the project. She…she warned me that the device was almost finished, and that my father had plans to implant me with the chip. She’d been stalling the project, trying to buy me time. But she couldn’t keep stalling without creating suspicion. She warned me they would activate the chips within a few weeks.”

“How could you possibly trust her?” Bynes sneered.

Jacob snapped. “Because Sally was more than a colleague to me. She was my partner. We loved each other, but we were never matched because she was from District 2. She risked her life to tell me what was going to happen. And…” his voice grew quiet as hurt twisted his handsome face. “She was asking for permission, and I gave it to her. I knew what it meant, but I would rather be my dad’s mindless puppet than watch her die at the hands of my father. That’s why I trust her.”

My hands covered my mouth, filled with grief. My brother was in love with someone from another district, never allowed to be together. And she was tasked with creating a device that would steal his autonomy forever.

I couldn’t believe it. How ironic that my brother and I would find ourselves in the same situation, but the roles reversed. I turned to face Wes. He was my brother, he just didn’t realize it. He didn’t know that I was the device that would be used to control him. The only difference was Sally gave my brother the last piece of autonomy he would have. She gave him the power of choice. To choose his fate. And he loved her more for it. Suddenly, I felt sick and rotten inside, the guilt causing acid to build up in my throat.

“Wait a minute,” Giza cut in. “If they’re not active yet, then how much time do we have?”

“I can’t be sure. Sally gave me some timelines, so based on those…three days?” Jacob stated calmly.

Sasha cleared her throat, her voice serene as always. “What happens once the chips are activated?”

I dropped my arms, hands curling into fists. “Do you remember all of those District 3 and District 2 citizens going missing from Telvia?”

Sasha placed a hand over her lips. “Oh my heavens…”

“What?” Charles barged in. “What’s this about people missing?”

Giza spoke up this time. “We’ve been getting reports for months of hundreds, possibly thousands, of citizens going missing from the Middle and Subclass. It was something we were trying to investigate prior to the loss of the camp.”

“It’s not just them,” Jacob interjected. “Every captured Dissenter, every person in the reeducation camps, every single Telvian soldier and REG officer…all of them. Every single one is being retrofitted with NIT-V2. And the second that device goes live, every single one of those individuals will be totally and completely under my father’s control. And they will obey his every command.”

The room grew silent, everyone trying to wrap their minds over the giant clusterfuck we were all in. And then Sasha tapped her nails on the table once, then twice. Slowly, she stood up from her chair as she rolled her shoulders back, bringing herself to her full height.

“I never thought I would find myself saying these words but, what do you propose we do, Mr. de la Puente?”

Jacob looked to me and I to him, our gazes locking. Because we knew exactly what we needed to do, and we had less than three days to make it happen. I turned to face her. “We’re going to resist, Sasha. And we’re going to take the fight to them.”

71: Knock, Knock…Who’s There?

Three days. We had three days to prepare hundreds of Northern and Dissenter soldiers for a battle at the northern border of the Telvian wall. To take the war to Raúl’s doorstep and force him to use everything he had inside the city to defeat the rebellion. But it would all be a decoy. A distraction. Something to draw his attention away from what would happen inside his very own walls.

A small team would infiltrate Telvia and eradicate the nanochip technology, making sure that all the programming, computers, files, and prototypes were completely destroyed. No nanochip meant no mind control. And no mind control meant we had a fighting chance of winning the fight against Raúl, finally taking Telvia back, and freeing the people for good.

Three days.

But we were going to do it in thirty-six hours.

It was a Hail Mary for sure. We weren’t anywhere near ready for a fight against the Telvian army, and there wasn’t nearly enough time to assemble any sort of cohesive battle plan. But we couldn’t risk the technology coming online earlier than expected, especially if Raúl thought he was threatened. The faster we moved to take out the technology, the better. And we didn’t have to win. We just had to distract them long enough to take out the tech. And that…that was doable.

After the meeting, Sasha negotiated terms for my brother to be held at the military base. After all, he was going to be a vital part to the success of the mission if we had any hopes of getting into REG Command and destroying the laboratory. From what it sounded like, Giza was going to ensure he received the best medical care, as well as a few doses of the Genesis Serum—the awesome-sauce meds they stashed to help soldiers recover faster from severe injuries. He had to be at his best if he stood any chance of guiding the team through Telvia and the REG building.

I was taken back to Castle Calvernon. Apparently, Wes still hadn’t told anyone that I had broken up with him. Before we left the base, Giza insisted Wes and I be treated with the Miracle Elixir of Awesomeness to help us recover, too. He wasn’t stupid. Giza knew full well that I was going to insist on being part of the team infiltrating Telvia. And, if history served as any sort of predictive device, if I was going, then Wes was going too.

The limo ride was long and incredibly uncomfortable with Charles glaring at me and Wes stone-cold and silent. I knew Charles had much to say to me, but he couldn’t talk about our little deal in front of Wes. And I had about a million things I needed to say to Wes, but there was no way I could say those things in front of Charles. So silence was the name of the game, and I couldn’t get out of that situation fast enough. I busted out of the limo like it was on fire, almost tripping on my way out, when we pulled up to the estate. The last thing I wanted was to be caught alone with Charles, so I booked it up the steps, through the house, and all but dived into my room, slamming the door behind me.

Safe…I was finally safe. And I had no idea what I was going to do next.

After some deliberating, I decided a shower was in order, and a quick look in the mirror confirmed it. My hair was an absolute mess. I was grimy from that dank prison, and I was pretty sure I smelled. Not at all how I wanted to approach Wes. If I was going to talk to him tonight, I had to at least look presentable.

I stripped off the military cargos and shirt and witnessed the damage from the tower. Bruises were a given. I had seen Matias, Wes, and Jacob, and they were all covered in different shades of purple, green, and yellow. I was no different. The left side of my face, including my ear, was completely scraped up. Little lined scabs and speckled bits of dry blood decorated it. Then there was my right arm, sporting the largest stretch of a colorful bruising pattern from the base of my neck, down to just below my elbow. And right there in the bicep, was the perfect impression of the hound’s teeth—two thick puncture wounds with a neat row of smaller punctures between them, creating the arch that was the beast’s jaw. It took up my entire arm, and honestly, I had no idea how the thing didn’t just tear the flesh right off me. Both my palms were covered in scratches and scrapes, and the knuckles on my right hand were bruised, cut up, and swollen from my self-inflicted injury when I punched the door.

I looked like hell, but I fared okay. And for that, I was immensely grateful.

After cataloging my injuries, I showered, and loved the way the water cleansed away the grime, sweat, and tears. Once finished, I dressed in a simple set of gray yoga pants and a white t-shirt, brushed my hair, and relished the feeling of being clean. Now, all that was left was to come clean with Wes, and I hoped he would talk to me. Because the last thing I wanted was to go on this last mission and one of us not make it out. He had to know the truth, and I was going to give it to him. With a deep breath, I marched to my door, ready to put this whole thing to rest, when—

Knock, knock, knock.

I froze. Who the hell…?

Knock, knock, knock.

A shot of adrenaline pumped through me, making me hot.

Knock, knock, knock.

That time, the knocks came more powerfully. I reached out toward the knob, hesitating. It could be Wes…or maybe a maid? Didn’t they usually turn down the sheets in the evening? I looked behind me at my bed and noticed that they had already been turned down. I swallowed.

Knock, knock.

Whoever it was, they were growing impatient. I reached back out to open it, but the knob turned and swung toward me, causing me to step back. And on the other side of the threshold was Charles.

I backed away from the door, taking several steps away from him as he marched straight into the room, closing the door behind him and locking it.

Oh shit…

“You’ve become the biggest pain in my ass since you’ve arrived,” he snarled as he took determined steps toward me.

This wasn’t good. Very bad. Very, very bad. I kept backing up, bumping into the chair by the hearth as he stalked toward me.

“We had a deal. Your brother was to sign…”

I closed my eyes as my heart hammered itself in my chest. “He will sign—”

Charles snapped his arm out, grabbing a fist full of my hair at the nape of my neck and pulled back hard, causing my head to snap back as my whole body arched involuntarily. “You’re up to something. Don’t think I don’t know that you’re up to something.”

I tried to shake my head, but the movement only caused Charles to pull back harder. I winced at the escalating pain and pressure. “No! It’s not like that—”

“Shut your trap,” he snapped, his face uncomfortably close to mine. “Here’s what’s going to happen. We’re going to make a new deal. This nanochip problem? We’re going to resolve it a little differently than President De’vor is thinking.”

Charles smiled then, a most devious and disgusting smile that caused my stomach to revolt. He brought his face close to mine, taking in a deep breath, as though he were drinking the very essence of my soul, sending chills running down my spine. His nose grazed my cheek, and instinctively I reacted, pulling back. But the movement only caused Charles to snap out his other hand and wrap it around my throat with a tight squeeze.

“That’s the problem with Marissa. She’s never been a fighter. And I always love a good fight,” he whispered into my ear.

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears welling up as the pressure on my throat caused me to panic. What was happening? Why was this happening?

“You’re going to be a good girl, and you’re going to follow the orders you’re given. Tomorrow, you and your brother will be implanted with my own tracking device.” My eyes widened. “That’s right…you understand. Telvians aren’t the only ones that use tracking devices. And tomorrow, you’ll have one that will tell me where you are. So when you and your brother go traipsing into Telvia, you won’t get any ideas of escaping. Because I will find you, Mara. I will find you, and I will hunt you down and make you grovel like a dog for mercy if you try to betray me. I warned you not to cross me. I warned you that nothing Raúl ever did to you would compare to what I was capable of.”

I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry, but the grip on my throat was just too much. A few tears escaped, slowly dripping down the curve of my cheeks.

“Yes,” he whispered, nuzzling his face into mine. “Cry for me.”

Oh my god, this man was disgusting. How did no one realize how awful Charles really was? How did Marissa tolerate it? Unless…did she even have a choice?

“We’re going to take this one step at a time, shall we? Tomorrow you’ll be implanted. And then you’re going to do exactly what I order you to when the time comes. And if you try to run away, if you try to tell Sasha or anyone about this…” He brought his lips right up to my ear, whispering so menacingly that I felt myself freeze. “I’ll kill them. I’ll brand them all as traitors, and I will have them all destroyed. Everyone you care about, everyone you love…they’ll all be executed. So be careful, Mara. Think carefully about what you do next, because this time, you’re going to be gambling with the lives of those you care about most. And I’m not a gambling man, Mara. I always win. Always.” He threw me to the ground. I landed on my side, coughing and gripping my sore throat. I looked up and watched as Charles turned away from me and left my room.

I sat on the floor for what felt like hours, doing nothing but staring in disbelief as the tears streamed down my face. Because somehow, things had just gotten worse. Charles had me cornered, threatening the lives of those I loved most. It wasn’t just about Wes anymore. It was Matias and Edith. It was Jacob. Hell, it could even be poor Chelsea and Edith’s family, for all I knew. It was all of them, all their lives. It wasn’t just about freedom anymore, but life and death. And I…I was trapped.

72: Finish It

“Do you understand your orders?” Bynes asked as the nurse injected the back of my neck with my tracker.

“Yes,” I muttered. After sitting in the debriefing that morning, hearing the plan of how we were going to infiltrate the REG while hundreds of Northern and Dissenter soldiers attacked the wall as a decoy, Bynes called Jacob and me to follow her. And now here we were, being implanted with the tracker Charles had mentioned the night before.

“Come again?” Bynes asked, clearly relishing her power and control in this moment.

“I said yes,” I repeated through gritted teeth. Jacob sat next to me, quiet as the nurse moved on to inject him. I glared at Bynes. “What’s it like to be Charles’s puppet? Do you like it? Or does it do something else for you?”

SMACK!

Bynes backhanded me, splitting open my lip. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time. Keep talking, girl. I’d be happy to do it again.”

I opened my mouth, but Jacob nudged my shoulder, giving me a warning. I snapped my mouth closed, biting my tongue.

“Who’s on the team?” he asked.

Bynes snickered. “All the favorites, of course. It seems President De’vor is doing everything in her power to control this mission as much as possible, but it doesn’t matter. We’ll have a soldier with you to make sure you get the job done right. You have one objective, and that’s installing the virus. We’ll take care of the rest.”

“Yeah, I bet you will,” I muttered under my breath.

“Careful, Telvian, or I’ll slap the other side to make it match.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek, my blood boiling. “Now, remember the plan. The team will assemble at 1200 hours. And if you mention any of this to anyone—”

“We got it,” Jacob interjected. “Hell to pay, people suffer, so on and so forth. You’ve made it clear, General.” She sneered at him before turning and leaving the room. The nurse lingered for just a minute, and then she left too, leaving us alone for the moment.

“This is bad, Mara.”

I ran my finger over the sore spot on the back of my neck. “I know, I know.”

Jacob stood up and started pacing in front of me while I remained seated on the exam table. “This tech can’t exist. It’s got to be destroyed, and I don’t trust this Calvernon guy one bit.”

I snorted. “If only you knew the half of it.”

“I’m serious, Mara. No one can have this tech.”

I furrowed my brows. He was right. This kind of technology couldn’t exist, and especially not in the hands of someone like Charles Calvernon. Because that’s what Charles wanted. He wanted NIT-V2 for himself—that’s what he expected Jacob and me to do. We were going to betray everyone—the East, the Dissenters, our team—betray them all by installing a virus into Telvia’s mainframe when we were supposed to be destroying it. The virus would corrupt the system and change the coding, so when the tech went live, Charles would be the one in control, not Raúl. And that was going to be just as bad.

Jacob shook his head, still pacing. “This is bad. This is really, really bad.” He stopped pacing, running his hands through his hair before turning to face me. “We’ve got to destroy it, Mara. The North can’t have control of the tech. Not them, not the Dissenters…nobody. It’s got to stop here. No matter what happens tomorrow, we have to get to the lab, and we have to destroy all of it!”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking we bomb it.”

“What?”

He walked up to me, taking my hands in his. “Hear me out. Everything that has to do with the nanochips is at the lab. I can access the mainframe from there, destroy the files, and then we can bomb the entire thing. We need to destroy everything. Every prototype, all the models—all of it!”

“What about the team? They’re gonna figure out that we’re up to something. And even if they don’t, there’s no way they’re going to let us bomb the lab. Not when the point of the mission is to take over control of the tech,” I reasoned.

“Then we ditch them. We separate ourselves from them, and we get to the lab.” He squeezed my hands. “Mara, please. I have to fix this. I have to fix what I’ve done. And I don’t trust anyone to destroy the tech except for you and me. Help me do this. Help me fix what I’ve done.”

I sighed, feeling the heavy weight he was placing on me. He wasn’t wrong. I knew he was absolutely right. No one should have the nanochip technology. No one should have the power to control people this way. Nobody. Not Sasha, not the East, and definitely not Charles. “Okay. We’ll separate from everyone, and we’ll destroy it all.”

Jacob’s eyes glistened, tears in his eyes as he cupped my face in his hands and kissed my forehead. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” I muttered, giving him a weak smile. He stepped away from me. “Hey, Jacob?”

“Yeah?”

I had a lingering question, one that weighed heavy on my heart. I was afraid to ask him, but I had to know. “What are the chances we make it out of the REG building alive?”

His brows furrowed as he rubbed his lips, looking away from me. It didn’t take a genius to know what that meant. It meant our odds were pretty low, and I didn’t really like those odds.

“That high, huh?” I joked half-heartedly, looking at the bruising on my knuckles.

“Hey,” he whispered, taking my chin in his hand and lifting my eyes to meet his blue ones. “No matter what happens, we can do it. We can handle anything as long as we stick together. You got that? And nothing will keep me from you again. I’m with you, Mara. And I’ll always be with you.”

Moisture filled my eyes. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that this very well might be the end of the road for us both. And the thought filled me with sorrow. I had made such a mess of my life. A mess that hurt the ones I loved most, and there was little time to make any of it right again.

“Hey,” he whispered, drawing my attention back to him. “It ends with us, okay? No matter what happens, we finish it.” He smiled, taking me into his arms and hugging me as though he hadn’t seen me in a thousand years. And it felt so good to feel his strength again, to feel the security that my brother always represented for me. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his chest, and allowed myself this moment because Jacob was right. Whatever happened tomorrow, it was going to end. I was going to make sure of it.

73: Honey-Baked Hams

Islumped into my bed in the barracks, utterly exhausted and emotionally spent. It was our last night before the mission, and I was allowed to spend it at Fort Warren. I was so grateful for it too, because the last thing I wanted was another surprise visit from Charles.

I was so overwhelmed by everything, though, and I didn’t even know what to do. After meeting with Jacob, I found out from Giza that the team would be Edith, Jeremiah, Wes, some guy called Geo, Jacob, and myself.

Matias wanted to go—insisted on it—but they gave him orders to hold back and take PTO. He was still recovering from his injuries at the tower, and with his current limp, he was in no condition to fight. Edith was probably the most prepared and had the most vigorous training since she had been doing the hell games with us. And, of course, she wanted to kick Telvian ass and was hellbent on doing this mission since they cut her out of the last one. So she was in.

Jeremiah—or Jay as he liked to be called—and Geo were tech experts. Their primary job was to upload the virus that everyone thought would destroy the nanochip technology into the Telvian mainframe. What they didn’t know was that the virus was a fake. It wasn’t going to destroy NIT-V2. It was going to give Charles control of it.

Wes wasn’t supposed to go. Like Matias, he was told to stay behind and take PTO since he was still recovering from Operation Silent Night. His answer, of course, was to flip the middle finger and enlist himself. Giza didn’t even try to argue with him.

That was our team. I didn’t know who Bynes’s operatives were, but in the end, nobody could know what Jacob and I were doing…not even Wes. Involving them made them accomplices and placed their lives at risk from Charles. And Charles had made it very clear to me that if I told anyone, he was going to kill them all. I couldn’t risk their lives.

But I needed somebody to help me…at least a little bit. And the only one I trusted for the job was Edith. I knew when the time came, I could count on her to help me get the team home safely. Because whether they were Charles’s operatives or not, in the end, they were just soldiers doing their jobs. It wasn’t their fault, and they all needed to get home alive.

I rolled onto my back, rubbing my eyes, staring at the ceiling of the barracks. There was one thing left I wanted to do, but I was out of time. I wanted to talk to Wes. The thought of going on this mission, probably dying, and leaving him without the truth…it crushed me. Stung like the venom of a thousand bee stings to the heart. But I didn’t know what Charles had planned for me or Jacob if we returned. And truthfully, I wasn’t sure I wanted to return.

Charles Calvernon was a wildcard, I realized. Absolutely crazed with the thought of power and more power, and incredibly unpredictable. He was no better than Raúl. That’s why the nanochips had to be destroyed. Although I was slowly trusting Sasha, I sure as hell didn’t trust Charles. And right now, the person who held the power was him, because Sasha depended on him for the survival of her rebellion. In the end, I feared she would acquiesce to whatever he wanted. And what he wanted was going to be no good.

“Psst!”

I turned to see the bunk next to me. “What’s up?”

Edith turned on her side under her covers to face me. “You’re still up.”

I looked back at the ceiling. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

“Can’t sleep?”

I swallowed, my mind still whirling with thoughts. “No.”

“Nervous?”

I stayed silent a tick. “No.”

“Liar.”

I smiled. I loved this girl. “What about you?” I whispered back.

“Are you kidding me? I’m going to kick Telvian butt tomorrow. Do you know how hard I worked to be good? I was so pissed when I got cut out of the last mission…”

“To be good?”

She shot up. “Hell yes! I’ve been kissing ass for the last twenty-four hours to make sure no one cut me from this one. And you know me, Mara. I hate kissing ass.”

“Shh!” The sound came from another bunk.

We both drew quiet for a moment, not wanting to piss off our roommates. After a few seconds, Edith started whispering again. “I kissed Jay.”

“What!” I shouted.

“Shh!” Several voices rang back out at me.

I shrunk deeper into my sheets, my cheeks reddening as I did.

Edith snickered. “I haven’t seen you since you were released from the hospital. But, yeah, I just walked right up to him, grabbed his ass, and kissed him.”

“Why did you grab his butt?” I whisper-yelled.

“Uh, hello? Have you not seen his ass? It’s like two honey-baked hams. He’s got it tight, girl! If I had it my way, I would have bitten those ass cheeks.”

“Shh!” Several more voices piped up.

I smothered my face in a pillow, dying of laughter. I didn’t know what a honey-baked ham was, but the image of Edith pouncing on Jay in the cafeteria and biting his butt was a total riot in my mind. The girl was such a predator.

“So, how was it?” I asked as soon as I could breathe again.

“Oh, girl, Wes has got nothing on him.”

I cocked a brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means the white boy has nothing on a sexy beast like Jay,” she purred.

I rolled my eyes. I really, really loved Edith. Everything about her was good and pure…well, except for her chastity. I was pretty sure that thing was anything but pure. But she was loyal, and truly an amazing human being. I sighed as I rolled over to look at her. “I’m happy for you.”

She smiled, curling back down in her bed. “Me too.”

“Edith?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to need your help tomorrow.”

“No shit,” she snickered. “You all almost died at the tower. You absolutely need me.”

I offered her a forced smile. Her confidence was endearing, but that’s not what I needed from her. I hesitated, not knowing how to ask without giving it all away. Finally, I decided on, “Tomorrow, when we’re in Telvia, I’m gonna need you to do something for me.”

She furrowed her brows. “Well, that sounds ominous. Should I be worried?”

I forced a smile, trying to make this next part sound convincing. “No. I just need you to know that, when the time comes, I’m going to ask you to do something, and you’re going to have to trust me.”

“Mara, I don’t like the sound of that. What’s going on?”

“Shh!” Another voice came from the right of me.

I brought my voice down lower. “Just…trust me, please?”

Edith stayed silent for a moment, calculating, no doubt. But eventually, she sighed heavily. “You know I’ve always got your back, newbie.”

I exhaled a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Edith.”

“But if you’re going to ask me to let you kiss Jay, I will slap you.”

“Shut up!” somebody chided.

Edith sat up in bed and looked around. “Who was that? I will cut you. Just ask Calista…that bitch got it good!”

Before I knew it, pillows were flying in the room as a gang of girls attacked Edith and me with pillows. It was the least of my problems.

Because tomorrow…tomorrow we’d finish it.

74: Incognito

The blades of the Blackhawk helicopter thrummed in the sky, flying 175 miles per hour, bringing us ever closer to the Telvian border. It was all coming down to this.

Northern troops had already deployed hours before us in broad daylight, and we flooded the Telvian communication systems with everything we had, sending mixed messages of imminent attack. We wanted them to know we were coming and exactly where we intended to hit. We wanted them to come get us and hit us with everything they had. Because every soldier, every REG official, every Telvian Enforcement officer that was at the wall was one less we would face when we infiltrated REG Command.

And we wanted the panic.

We wanted the citizens of Telvia to know what was happening and to lose their freaking minds, taking to the streets, and creating nothing but havoc.

The more chaos, the better.

The easier it would be to slip in among the crowd.

And we were ready.

Bullet-proof vests, knives, stunners, and pistols all concealed under ordinary clothing. Tactical vests hid under coats and sweaters. Backpacks shielded ammo and extra battery clips from view. Hats and sunglasses concealed our faces as much as possible. I even dyed my hair blonde.

Incognito.

Each one of us had a new identity. Retinal scans would identify us as anyone but who we really were. The real trick was making sure no one saw Jacob. Because the second someone recognized the First Son of Telvia, the gig would be up, game over.

That’s why chaos was our new best friend. And the more we created, the better.

And we were going to create so much of it.

“We drop in ten!” The pilot reported back to us. “Dissenter forces on the inside have reported that District 1 is in the process of evacuations. You’re going to access tunnel B35. It should let you out on Cameron Street inside of a clothing store.”

“Cameron Street? That’s a mile from the REG office,” I said.

“That’s right. Cameron Street’s already been evacuated,” the pilot confirmed.

“What about the REG? Are they still there?” Jacob questioned.

“Don’t know. Source says they haven’t evacuated the city center yet, but there’s talk of evacuating Command to another office in District 2.”

“Shit,” Jacob muttered as he leaned back in his seat.

“What?” Edith asked. “What’s the problem? Wouldn’t that be better for us?”

Jacob ran his hand through his hair. “Once they begin evacuations, they’ll move all the lab computers and prototypes to another location.”

“So,” Jay retorted. “I bet I can access the mainframe from any computer in Command.”

“No!” Jacob shot out too forcibly, and everyone looked at him. Recognizing his mistake, he cleared his throat. “No,” he repeated, softer this time. “That won’t work. We’ve got to get there before they evacuate the REG or all bets are off.”

Great. Just perfect. As though this wasn’t already big enough of a mess, now we were on a time crunch because our team wanted to upload a virus, but Jacob and I had different plans. We needed to make sure everything was destroyed or Raúl would just have Jacob’s work recreated, and we’d be back at square one.

“When we land,” Wes jumped in, “I’ll take point through the tunnel. Once we're on the other side,” he faced Jacob, “you’ll need to lead us to REG Command.” Jacob nodded. “Mara, you’re covering Geo and Jay. Edith, you’re taking the rear.”

We all nodded.

The pilot interjected, “We’re ready for the drop.” No sooner did he say that, the helicopter slowed and lowered down into a giant clearing of desert shrubs and Joshua trees. Slowly, it dropped to the ground until it finally landed with a hard thump. “Go!”

He didn’t have to tell us twice. We all leaped out, ducking down as the blades of the Blackhawk continued spinning, causing a forceful wind that threatened to topple me over. As soon as the last one of us was out, the helicopter rose and took off toward the battleground.

Miles away, I could see the plumes of black smoke and the flickering dance of flames. Muted booms broke through the serene landscape, and memories of the forest ablaze, the rebel camp destroyed and engulfed in flames, disturbed me.

“Mara?” my brother said gently, a hand on my shoulder. I shook my head, trying to clear the images from my mind as I turned to face him. “Ready?”

I looked back out at the battle ensuing so many miles away, blowing out a breath. “Absolutely.”

***

We raced down the tunnel, dim utility lighting doing the worst job of fulfilling their function. And it was a race. We had at least a mile to go in the darkness, and then a mile to the REG once we came out of the tunnel. The layers of clothing and gear made me feel hot and sweaty, but the tunnels were cool on my face. The smell of stale air and mold, however, was definitely not my favorite.

We kept up a fast-paced jog. I could tell once we had crossed into the city because every once in a while we’d hear a muted sound, like thunder off in the distance, and dirt would fall from the ceiling on top of us. The whole thing gave me this uneasy feeling that the tunnel was going to cave in on us, but I swallowed my internal panic, shoving it down. I had to stay focused.

After twenty minutes, we came to a scuffed up, yellow ladder that rose what looked like dozens of feet. Without so much as a word, Wes grabbed onto the first rung and started climbing, moving quickly. Jacob followed next, then Geo, me, Jay, and Edith.

Eventually, we reached the top. One by one, we climbed out into a tiny square room we could hardly fit in. And the worst part was, there was no way out. No windows and no doors. Just four solid walls.

“Where are we?” I asked.

Wes stepped over to one of the blank walls and pressed his hand flat against it. A light appeared that moved from left to right, tracing the outline of his hand. Something beeped, and then suddenly, the entire wall slid back.

“Holy hell,” Jacob mumbled under his breath, eyes wide and jaw hanging open. “How the—”

“Pretty impressive, eh, Telvian?” Geo snickered as he lifted the hood on his hoodie over his red, buzzed cut hair. “Looks like the REG ain’t as good as they thought they were.”

Jacob just stared and then glanced at me with a did you know about this? kind of look. I just shrugged with a silent chuckle. If only he knew there were more of these secret passageways all over the city. Once he found that out, his mind was going to be totally blown.

Wes stepped into the space beyond, which turned out to be a back storeroom, littered with boxes and discarded merchandise. “Clear.”

We all piled into the room and waited for Wes to close the door—wall?—behind us. It slid back into place and made a soft beep sound when it locked into place. And, just like before, it was nothing more than just another wall. Wes took point again, leading us up a flight of stairs and through an open door. Light hit my eyes, causing me to lift my hands to help protect them from the sunlight shimmering through the windows and bouncing off the mirrors and glass. And when my eyes finally adjusted, I felt my stomach drop and my cheeks redden.

The store we were in was a clothing shop. But not just any clothing shop…it was a—

“Ooo!” Edith squealed as she completely forgot her position as the tail in our group and busted out into the shop. “I want that one!” She went to a table and lifted a red, very see-through thong, holding it up high and admiring it. “What do you think, Jay?”

Jay started coughing, curling his hand into a fist and slapping at his chest. I couldn’t believe it. Of all the stores on Cameron Street, it had to be the lingerie shop. I was walking around in a life-sized skank drawer, and Edith was—apparently—in total heaven.

“Oh! This one! I want this one!” She clamored as she skipped to another table with a lacy teddy. At least it was tasteful. She grabbed it and held it up, and I almost choked on my own spit. It had holes. Two holes…right where the breasts go. “Mara! This one’s perfect for you!”

“Oh no…” Jacob squeaked out, shifting uncomfortably. That made two of us. “The REG’s this way,” he said as he just about ran out of the room.

“I’m following that guy,” Jay said, cheeks red. But I caught him giving Edith a quick wink as she stuffed the not-so-tasteful teddy in her backpack.

“I’ll grab you one, Mara,” she said.

“No!” I shrieked, causing Wes and her to jump. “I’m good. I’m so good. I have way more than I’ll ever need—”

Wes started choking just as I realized I had just admitted to owning several pieces of intimate apparel.

Edith glowed. “Ooo! Did you try the red lace—”

“Edith!” I squealed.

Geo chuckled, coming up beside me and bumping my shoulder. “Well, de la Puente, I’d be a good teammate and wait for you if you wanted to try it on…”

“Eww,” I said.

“Knock it off, Mason,” Wes growled, having recovered from his coughing fit. He stepped between us and shoved Geo over.

Geo chuckled again, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Just playin’, brother. Just playin’.” He caught my eye, gave me a wink, and puckered his lips before following the rest of our group out. Edith followed, snagging a few more items off the counters before she slipped out the front.

“Pig,” Wes muttered.

“I know, right?” I didn’t know Geo Mason at all. And I was deciding I had no desire to get to know him any better.

“We better go—”

“Wait!” I said, halting him in his steps. He turned to face me, his hazel eyes rich with flecks of green that accented the golden hues. His hair was tucked under a baseball cap, which I decided I didn’t like on him that much. I preferred his hair out and accessible, where I could run my fingers through the blond strands and feel the silky softness against my skin. I opened my mouth, not knowing what to say or how to say it. And there was no time to do this right, but there was a very strong possibility I may not get another chance. So I took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.”

“Mara,” Wes began, cutting me off. “We can’t do this now. We’ve got to go.”

“Wes, please. It’ll only take a second and I can’t take another step without you knowing this.” He sighed heavily, shifting his weight, but he stayed put. I pressed the advantage. “I’m sorry for everything that happened. And I can’t explain everything right now, but maybe when this is all over, I can do a better job then. But I just need you to know that I never meant to hurt you, and that, no matter what happens, know that I care about you.”

With furrowed brows, Wes looked off in the distance, shifting his weight. “You don’t owe me anything. What happened between us, I know it wasn’t real. And it’s not your fault that I wanted it to be.”

“Wes—”

“Just let me finish,” he cut me off, eyes back on me. “It’s not your fault, it’s mine. And it’s unfair for me to hold it against you. Sasha and my dad put you in a tough position, giving you a chance at saving your brother, and I get that. And I can’t blame you for taking it.”

Emotions climbed up my throat. Because who was I to deserve this man? I could live a thousand lives and never deserve him, never earn the right for him to be mine. I was his once, and I ruined it.

He blew out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know what plans my dad or Sasha have for everything, but when we get back, I’ll make sure you’re freed from them. I’ll make sure your brother doesn’t have to stand trial, and I’ll make sure you’re not forced into anything ever again. No marriage needed. You have my word.”

“But Wes—”

“Yo!” Jay barged back in. “Dudes, we just got intel saying that they’re beginning evacuations at the REG. We’ve got to get our asses down there like it was yesterday.”

“Crap,” Wes muttered. “Let’s go.” And he was off, following Jay, and I followed him. But all the while, my mind was spinning. I wasn’t happy with how everything sat with Wes, but it was better I guessed. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it would have to do because we were out of time and out of options. And now, Jacob and I had to figure out how to ditch everyone so we could get to the REG before all the nano tech disappeared. This was going to be hell.

75: Right in the Heart

It was bizarre seeing District 1 so empty during the day. We jogged down the middle of the street, trying to hightail it to the REG office. And all the while, we heard the constant sound of gunfire, explosions, and the screams of people in the distance. The sounds of battle raging beyond the wall sent a shiver up my spine and chilled me to the bone.

My mind kept offering me images of the forest, the sounds of the hellhounds howling into the night, and all I could do was force them down as best as I could. Because each image threatened to send me back in time, back to that moment, fighting for my life. But I couldn’t fight the past…not when I was about to fight my adversaries in the present.

Focus.

I had to stay focused, or I was going to die.

Time ticked, and Jacob pushed us harder and harder, trying to get us out of District 1 and into the capital of Telvia before time ran out. And as I ran, I recognized where we were. Telvia was organized in rings. The city center was known as the Capital where the Administration Buildings, REG Command, and the Academy were located, followed by the riches of District 1. The next layer was District 2, home to the Middle Class. And the outer ring was the slums of District 3, where the Subclass struggled to live halfway decent lives. Cameron Street was one of the few roads that traveled through all rings of Telvia, straight to the Admin Buildings. And we were close. So close, in fact, we heard the chaos ensuing just a mere few streets away.

“Hold up,” Jacob said, dodging into another shop. This one, thank god, wasn’t a lingerie store. I didn’t think I could handle another one of those. Elegant party clothes were on display all around us. Dresses hung on hangers, glittering as they caught the sun. Mannequins sported tuxedos and elegant suites. Jacob walked us back further into the store, away from the windows.

“What’s going on, de la Puente?” Geo said. “Doesn’t look like REG Command to me.”

Jacob ignored him, rummaging through his bag as he spoke. “You’re a bright one, Geo. I’ll give you that,” he said, clearly not meaning it. “In another couple of blocks, we’re going to be in the throes of Capital evacuations.”

“Are we kicking their asses so much that they’re evacuating the Capital?” Jay asked.

“Protocol,” I responded. “They always evacuate District 1 citizens first, followed by Capital officials, during any sizable threat.”

“That’s right,” Jacob confirmed. “We’re attacking the eastern border, so they’re going to shift everyone to the west side.”

“That shouldn’t impact us,” Wes said, brows pinched. “We’re approaching from the southeast.”

“Right,” Jacob replied as he pulled out his stunner from his bag and turned it on. “The traffic’s going to be moving west, so stay clear of it.” I reached into my coat and pulled out my stunner, hearing the whirring sound it made as it powered up.

“Stay clear of it?” Jay asked, brows pinched. “I don’t get it. What does this have to do with the mission?”

“Nothing,” Jacob replied matter-of-factly. “I just wanted to make sure you understood so you know what to avoid when you head back.”

“What?” Geo muttered. “I thought we were heading to the REG?”

“We are,” I responded as I looked to face my brother and our eyes met briefly before Jacob turned back to face the group.

“But you’re not,” he added. He moved so quickly, I almost missed it completely. He fired off two shots from his stunner, one hitting Geo and the other hitting Jay, sending them both collapsing to the ground.

“Hold it!” I shouted as I aimed my stunner at Wes, who had moved like a viper, retrieving his own weapon, and now had it aimed at Jacob before I caught him.

Edith’s eyes were enormous. She, too, had reached for her stunner, but never got it in time. Jacob had his pointed at her, and she slowly raised her arms in surrender. “Mara?” she called, her dark brown eyes searching me.

Wes kept his stunner fixed on my brother, while Jacob kept his fixed on Edith, and I kept mine aimed at Wes. “What the hell, de la Puente?” I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or my brother, but it didn’t really matter. Wes was mine to take care of.

“I’m sorry, Wes,” I whispered, swallowing the hurt and angst clawing at my throat. Wes slowly shifted his gaze to look at me while his body remained still as stone.

“What’s going on, Mara? Why the hell are Geo and Jay down? What the fuck is going on?”

I took a deep breath, mustering my courage. I had to remember this was for his own good. I couldn’t risk involving him or Edith more than they already were. There was no telling what Charles would do. This was the best for everyone. “Just remember what I told you, okay? No matter what happens, I care about you. I—” I faltered, afraid to admit this to him like this, triangulated between him and my brother and what was best for everyone.

But I wanted him to know. Because if I didn’t make it, I wanted him to know that I didn’t betray him…not really. That there was something else at play, something bigger than us both. But there was no time. No time for explanations, for truths, for the declarations of love I had failed to make to him.

I pushed back the tears that threatened to fall, and I shoved down the knot in my throat even further. I looked at Wes’s golden eyes, praying that what he saw in my face was sincerity, truth, and love. “Whatever happens, whatever they say about me…just remember, it’s not what it seems.”

It was brief. A shift in his brows, a slight parting of his lips, and a widening of his eyes as my words registered within him. And just as he was about to say something to me, I shot him…right in the heart.

76: Ready or Not

Wes dropped to the floor, limp and out cold, just as Edith screamed out. “Holy shit, Mara!” she said. “Are you freaking insane? What the hell are you doing?” She still had her hands up, but her gaze was right on me, and she looked pissed.

I hurried. “Edith, remember when I told you I needed your help? This is it.”

“Oh hell no! Are you crazy?”

“Just listen to me,” I said as I walked up to her, pulling her arms down. “Jacob and I have to do this. We’ve got to destroy these things—”

“That’s what we’re doing, Mara!” She was screaming at me now, annoyed and pissed off like a predatory cat.

I waved my hands at her, trying to shut her up. There was no time to explain. “It’s not what it seems! None of it is what it seems!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” She looked like she was getting ready to bitch-slap me into next Tuesday.

“I’ve got the virus,” Jacob muttered as he stood up from Jay.

“Don’t touch him!” she snapped.

“Edith!” I grabbed her by the collar and forced her to look at me. “I need you to protect them. Request an emergency evac and keep them safe. Get yourselves out of here as fast as you can.”

Jacob started moving, making sure his weapons were armed and accessible before coming to stand next to me. “Go back the way we came if you can,” he started. “The roads should remain clear for you all the way back. But if that doesn’t work, just stay clear of anything heading east or west.”

“Telvian soldiers will be heading east toward the battle,” I added, making sure she understood. “Evacuees will be heading west.”

Edith closed her eyes and shook her head. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” she chanted before looking at us like we were both insane. “Are you guys serious? This is nuts!” She faced me. “When you asked me for help, I didn’t think it was going to be for this! Do you know how pissed off Wes is going to be?” she rattled on. “Forget Telvian soldiers. That dude’s going to be hell on earth, girl. I’d rather face the firing squad.”

“Mara,” Jacob said, tugging on my coat sleeve. “We’ve got to go. We’re running out of time.”

I nodded before facing Edith again. “I’m so sorry to do this to you, but please, help him understand. Keep them safe.” I took several steps away from her as Jacob walked past us toward the entrance.

“Mara,” Edith called, confusion and anger a live wire within her.

“I’m sorry, Edith, but you’ve got to trust me.”

“Erg!” she yelled as she stomped her feet, clearly trying to contain her rage. “What the hell are you going to do?” she asked as I turned away from her, following Jacob. “How the hell are you going to get out? Mara!”

I didn’t answer. I just kept marching forward, knowing that I was walking away from my best friend and pissing her off like a cobra being poked in a cage. But an angry Edith did a lot more damage than a collected one. And right now, I needed her to be ready to kill anyone that walked in through the door and take no shit from Wes when he woke up. Because she was right about a lot of things, but especially about Wes.

We were out the door, my coat and his hoodie concealing our guns and stunners. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my aviators, as did Jacob, who lifted the hood of his sweater to conceal his hair. I pulled my hair into a low ponytail and slipped on a dark gray baseball cap. It wasn’t much of a disguise, but it didn’t have to be. We just needed to blend in enough that we could slip past people and into the REG.

“So,” Jacob began, eyes focused ahead. “You and that guy, huh?”

I kept my eyes on the road, but a smirk pulled at the corner of my lips. “Yeah, me and that guy.” I saw him nod from the corner of my eye.

“Doesn’t he look like—”

“Yes,” I replied, cutting him off.

One heartbeat, then two… “Related?”

“Twins,” I responded, keeping my focus straight ahead.

“Oh.” He grew silent.

One second, two seconds, three seconds…

“You’ve got a type, don’t you?”

“Shut up,” I said, giving him a quick glare before returning my focus to the road and concealing another smirk.

“You ready?” he asked me.

“Not really.”

More silence.

“It’s going to be okay,” he reassured. “I mean, we’re on the good side now, right? Well, sort of, I guess. And the good guys always win.” It was a joke, an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, I guess.” I heard the booms in the distance. Heard the screams and gunfire. “But then again, they think they’re the good guys too, don’t they?” It wasn’t a real question. Just a simple fact.

“I know I did. I thought everything we were doing was right…until it wasn’t.” I could hear it. Hear the remorse and guilt in his voice for everything he had done and everything he had helped do.

“I guess that’s the thing, isn’t it? Everyone always thinks they’re fighting on the right side…the good side. But how do you tell the difference when it all gets twisted? So muddled that you don’t know what’s good and just anymore? When all you know is you’re a part of this and they’re a part of that?” Now that was the real question. One I didn’t expect him to have an answer to.

He stayed silent for a moment, each of us just taking steady steps toward the end when he finally responded. “I guess that’s the thing…you don’t. You just hope to god that you didn’t fuck up and get lost along the way.”

I stayed silent, mulling over his words in my head. But what if you’re already lost? What then?

Jacob sighed, and I knew exactly why. Because up ahead, we saw the first signs of life since coming out of the tunnel. People were running everywhere while Telvian Enforcement was trying to maintain order and guiding people westward.

“Ready or not,” Jacob muttered.

“Here we come,” I finished.

77: Eyes on Me

Never had I seen the Capital in such chaos. Normally, the threat of pissing off Telvian Enforcement was more than enough to keep cooperation, but not today. And a huge part of that might be the fact that somebody had set fire to the Academy.

Students were running wild, the little ones screamed or cried, looking for direction from the few adults trying to manage the situation. Some of the older students tried to guide the younger ones, while others cheered as windows blew out and flames came rushing out of the building in raging plumes. Enforcement was trying to corral them all while others were trying to direct firefighters to the blaze.

“Remain calm,” an officer shouted. “You’ll be reunited with your parents at the evacuation site.” He might as well just have spoken to the wind because no one was paying attention.

The scene caused something inside of me to grow cold. They were only children, young adults…people. Raúl and his Telvian Council were the enemy, not them. They were victims. In fact, every Telvian citizen was a victim, even the nobility. They were just trying to survive a society that groomed them to live a certain way, believe a certain truth. It was their reality, and they didn’t know any better.

Just like me.

Just like Jacob.

We didn’t know any better. We didn’t know the truth beyond our walls. All we knew were the lies we were fed from day one.

Jacob swooped in close, whispering in my ear and snapping my attention back to the task at hand. “Keep your head down, and just keep moving.”

I didn’t reply, I just did as he said and followed his lead, weaving my way among the chaos. REG Command was on the other side, several blocks away.

Suddenly, people around us screamed and dropped to the floor as a Northern F-18 fighter jet flew over the sky, close to the ground, being pursued by three Telvian jets, firing away.

“Oh shit,” Jacob cried out as he dropped to the floor and took cover. Bullets sprayed the ground, debris flying into the air as the rounds struck the concrete. I dropped down by a parked car, trying my best to get low and small to avoid being shot. The wind whipped around me as the jets flew over, stealing my hat. Several people screamed out as they were gunned down.

“Stay down!” Jacob screamed. He didn’t have to tell me twice.

The Northern jet somersaulted in the air, and came back around, firing at Telvian Enforcement on the ground, just as a fourth Telvian jet showed up out of nowhere and gunned down the Northern plane. The thing exploded, falling through the sky right at me.

“Mara!” Jacob yelled just as I let out a slew of profanities.

I jumped up and ran, pumping my legs as hard as I could as the jet hit the ground and combusted, sending chunks of rock and debris everywhere. The shockwave threw me forward, sending me flying. I didn’t think. The moment my body hit the ground, I curled up, protecting my face just as shrapnel, bits of concrete, and burning ash rained over me.

My ears rang, drowning out all other sounds as I opened my eyes to see Jacob by me, his sunglasses gone as he grabbed my arm and pulled me up frantically. I scrambled to my feet and started running, letting him lead me through the panic as people lost their minds. I didn’t look back. I didn’t look to see the disaster that was the Academy, or the barrage of dead Telvians I knew had to be behind me. I just kept running. I stayed focused on REG Command ahead of me, seeing people pour out of the building, Telvian Enforcement losing all control of an orderly evacuation.

Suddenly…

Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow!

The sound came in loud and in quick succession.

“Get down!” someone screamed just as a Northern Apache helicopter swooped in, firing its 30mm machine gun into the crowd of children.

“No!” I shouted, waving my hands at the aircraft. “They’re kids! They’re just kids!”

“Mara, get down!”

In one heartbeat, I was pulled off my feet, flying through the air as my brother grabbed me by my jacket collar and yanked me hard under the cover of a building just as the Apache zoomed by, laying waste to everything in its path. It destroyed the very spot I had just been standing and left a bloodbath of children along the ground.

I screamed.

Because it was one thing seeing buildings burn to the ground.

Because it was one thing watching soldiers fight each other to the death.

Because it was one thing killing monstrous creatures like hellhounds.

But it was another thing murdering children.

“This is madness!” I cried. “They’re going to kill everyone!”

“Stop it, Mara! Get your head in the game,” Jacob snapped back at me.

I felt the knot forming in my throat, the fear climbing up my spine. “They were kids! They just killed all those kids!”

“And there’ll be more kids, Mara! And more kids after them. And women, and babies, and families. This is just going to keep going, and it’s just going to get worse. And that’s why we have to stop it. That’s why we have to keep it together, get to that building, and destroy all of it. It’s got to stop,” he said, stroking my hair and then cupping my cheek. “It’s got to end, Mara. And we’re going to finish it. Okay?”

I blinked back the tears, trying to get the image of their young faces out of my mind as I nodded my consent.

“Good girl,” he whispered, stroking my hair again. “You can do this,” he reassured me as he pulled me into a hug. “You got this.”

I panted, trying to calm my rattled nerves as he kissed the top of my head.

Slowly, he pulled me back, holding my face in his hands. “Just keep your eyes on me, okay? Don’t look at anything else. Just eyes on me.” I nodded, taking a shuddering breath. “Okay,” he whispered. “Let’s do this.”

I didn’t want to.

I didn’t want to do this anymore, but I knew there was no going back. I had seen a lot of death over the past several months, but never had I witnessed masses of children gunned down in the streets. The horror of that one moment rocked me to my core. But all I could do was swallow the grief, the fear, the pain, and put one foot in front of the other. I followed Jacob back out into the chaos, across the bloody streets of the city center.

I was shaking. The adrenaline pumping through my system was something fierce, and the pounding of my heart caused my whole body to feel like it was pulsing with the tempo of its rapid beat. Northern and Telvian aircraft kept flying above, with Northern jets frequently outnumbered by their enemies. Jacob and I dodged gunfire, or took cover inside a building, but it all came as a blur to me, one scene slipping into another with no clarity. All I saw were their faces.

“Mara,” Jacob called, looking over his shoulder as we jogged forward. Somewhere close, we heard an explosion. “When we get to the REG, avoid Enfor—”

“Halt, citizen!” I heard behind us, but I pretended I didn’t hear them, continuing my steady pace forward toward the building.

“I said halt!” the voice called again.

Jacob stopped in his tracks, never looking behind him, as I came to a stop at his side. I eyed him and watched as Jacob dragged the stunner out from his waistband under his sweater. I did the same, pulling mine from under my coat.

I cleared my throat but didn’t dare turn around. “What is it, officer?”

“You’re going the wrong way, citizen. Turn around and report to your assigned evacuation site.”

“Yes, of course,” Jacob said calmly. I gave him another glance and suddenly, my heart stopped. He’d lost his sunglasses, and I realized at that moment that I had lost my glasses and hat too. Anyone who had half a brain was going to recognize us if they took the time to look. I lifted my hand, pretending to cough, but pointed at my eyes. I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard, rubbing his lips together. He knew it too. We were sitting ducks.

“Citizens,” the officer spoke more forcibly. “Turn around and move to the evacuation site now.” And then I heard it, the click and snap of a weapon being loaded. “Or be arrested and suffer consequences determined by the REG.”

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and sending a quick prayer up to the universe as Jacob cleared his throat. “Yes, sir,” he replied. Then we both turned around.

It took all of half a second before the officer said, “Wait a minute, you’re—”

ZAP!

Jacob fired his stunner, and the guard collapsed to the ground.

No sooner than the officer was down, someone else screamed, “Rebels! Rebels in the Capital!”

Every Enforcement officer within a thirty-foot radius heard the scream. And they all turned and set their sights on us.

“Well shit,” Jacob said. “This is gonna be bad.”

78: A Memory

The world slowed to a crawl. The steady thump of my heart drummed in my ears as fire pumped in my veins. They outnumbered us eight to two. The Telvian Enforcement officers turned their heads to see our faces, and I watched as recognition clicked into place, one right after the other.

It was go time.

I aimed and fired my stunner, taking out the officer closest to us, while Jacob whirled around at my side and fired twice, taking out at least two more behind me. That was all the advantage we had…the precious seconds they wasted trying to add up the pieces were all the time we needed to take three of them out. But then that advantage was gone, and suddenly, everything happened fast.

A guard to my left fired off several rounds at me as I leaped forward, somersaulting across the ground, popping back up on my feet, and leaping behind a parked car as more gunshots went off. I whipped around to see Jacob, who jumped in through a broken window of a nearby store.

Good. He was safe for now. I turned my attention back to the six officers that remained, took aim, and then fired again.

Zap, zap!

Another guard dropped to the floor, but not before he fired his assault rifle, causing me to squeak as I dropped back behind the car for cover.

Five.

ZAP! Zap, zap!

Keeping my back pressed against the car, I glanced over and watched as Jacob’s blond locks peeked out from behind the wall of the store, and he fired off several rounds. Another guard dropped to the ground.

Four.

I looked over the hood of the car, seeing the four remaining officers, and lifted my stunner to fire. The electrical charge flew through the air, but missed the officer I was aiming for. Damn!

BANG, BANG!

I dropped back behind the car as the bullets came whizzing past me. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and then…shot up, aimed, and fired in one fluid successive movement.

ZAP!

The charge shot out again, and this time, nailed the officer. His body fell to the ground in a limp heap.

Three.

BANG!

I yelled out as I dropped back behind the car, gripping my right arm. “Shit!” I breathed out, wincing in pain. “Holy mother!” He got me. He got me right in the same damn arm as the stupid hellhound bite. I cursed a few more profanities as I lifted my arm to examine the damage. I was lucky. I was so, so lucky that I should have kissed the ground in gratitude. Because that full metal jacket just grazed my arm, cutting a slice in it, butterflying my flesh wide open as it did. If it had hit my bone… I shivered. I don’t think I would have had an arm left.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I rested my head against the car, hearing several more rounds go off in my direction. I looked at my arm again, watching the fabric of my jacket absorb the blood before it dripped on the floor.

Crap…

I glanced in Jacob’s direction and saw him pop off another few rounds while two of the remaining officers slowly encroached on him. There wasn’t much time, but I desperately needed first aid. Shifting my body, I tried to slip my backpack off my shoulders—

“Damn it,” I muttered under my breath. Where was my backpack? I desperately looked around, scanning the ground for my bag. It was gone. Somewhere along the way, amongst dodging falling F-18s and being under the fire of Apache helicopters, I must have lost my stupid bag. I grunted as I thrusted my head against the metal of the car, jaw clenched.

It’s going to be fine. Everything’s going to be fine.

I had my 9mm still strapped to my hip, and my stunner. The handgun had 12 rounds in it, and the stunner—I lifted it up and released the battery clip—had about eight charges left. After that, I was out of ammo for both weapons, and I still had a long way to go. I gritted my teeth as my arm throbbed. I put my stunner down and reached to my belt, undoing the buckle and trying my best to slip it off. I needed something to slow down the bleeding. I wasn’t in danger of bleeding out, but I also couldn’t be walking around the REG, leaving a trail of bloody breadcrumbs. Hopefully Jacob still had his bag, because if he didn’t, we were going to be super screwed. There’d be no point in making it to the REG lab if he didn’t have the bomb with him.

I started wrapping my belt around my upper arm and then tightened it, gritting my teeth and doing my best to keep from yelling out in pain. I looked away as I cinched it down harder, my eyes falling on my brother holed up in the store. Movement caught my eye as an officer held out a grenade, pulled out the pin, and threw it through the store window.

“Jacob!” I yelled, jumping out of my spot, and ran for him. I didn’t make it far before the explosion went off, causing what few shards of glass remained to blow out as fire and plumes of smoke poured out of the window. And then I screamed, because my brother was in that store just moments before, and now he was dead, exploded to bits from the blast. I kept running toward it. I had to see if he made it, see if he was still alive, and I didn’t care about anything else.

That was my mistake.

I flew off the ground to the left, tackled by someone or something. And suddenly, I was back at the tower, my face scraping along the dirt as the hound’s body pinned me to the ground. I tried to fight it off, watching as its teeth came at me, its snarling maw opened in that unnaturally wide bite. I screamed, because this was it. I had survived these monsters twice before, only to be taken down now, so close to the end. I guess the third time really was the charm after all.

“Mara!” I heard my name, but I couldn’t see who it was. All I heard was the crashing of the ocean and that incessant alarm that never stopped blaring, never eased up, as the distant howls of more hounds called into the night sky.

“Mara, get up!”

Wait a minute, wasn’t it daylight just a few seconds ago? How could it be night already?

“Mara!”

I looked up and watched as those teeth came down, snapping at my face.

SMACK!

I felt the sting across my right cheek, causing my face to go flying to the left. “Ouch!” I opened my eyes.

It was daylight. The sound of constant gunfire and the thunderous, muted booms of bombs out in the distance invaded my ears. I heard the continued scream of people and children crying, as the smell of smoke and ash drowned out my sense of smell.

“Mara!” I looked and saw Jacob hovering over me. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry I slapped you, but we’ve got to go. We’ve got to go right now!” I heard the urgency in his voice as I blinked several times, completely confused.

“But where are the hounds?”

“What?”

“A hellhound attacked me,” I muttered, my mind trying to piece together what just happened.

Jacob grimaced as he looked at me in pity. “There are no hounds, Mara.”

“But—I saw it.” Oh my god, was I hallucinating?

“There aren’t any hounds, Mara,” he said, voice somber. “But we’ve got to go.” He grabbed my good arm and slowly hoisted me to my feet.

What the hell just happened to me? I shook my head, and suddenly, I was aware of the pain in my arm again. The constant throb and ache. And then I remembered the bomb in the shop, which was confirmed by a quick glance at the store that was burning from the inside out.

“But the grenade,” I mumbled, still trying to piece it all together.

Jacob worked furiously, pulling out gauze from his bag and wrapping my arm up. “They were going to have me cornered, so I ran into the back of the store and found a back entrance to the alley. I wasn’t in the shop when the grenade exploded.”

I looked around, seeing the two officers that had been attacking Jacob on the ground, and then I saw the third one on the floor by my feet. Is that what hit me? The Enforcement officer? But the hellhound…

“It was so real,” I whispered. “The hound was so real.”

Jacob finished wrapping my arm and slung his bag on his back before cupping my cheek. “I know…it was like it was really there, right?”

Tears blurred my vision. Was I going insane? This was the third time something like this had happened to me. “Am I going crazy?” I looked at my brother, staring into his scuffed-up face and bright blue eyes.

“No,” he cooed. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay. They’re just flashbacks. Bad memories that feel really real. I’ll help you with them, but we can’t do it right now. We’ve got to get to the REG fast, okay? Just stay focused on me. And if you see another hellhound, just remember that it’s just a memory, a bad nightmare. It’s not real, okay? Just a memory.”

I nodded.

It was a memory…just my mind playing tricks on me. I took a deep breath as I blinked, trying to get my head back in the game. Back into this battle, this current fight for my life.

“Attagirl,” he whispered as he planted a kiss on my forehead. “We’re almost there.” Then he took my hand and pulled me forward. REG Command was only a block away.

79: Everything

The street in front of the REG building was empty, and there was nothing but abandoned cars in the parking lot. It was a seven story, square building with nothing but tinted windows reflecting the outside. The main entrance had a long red carpet with a champagne-colored canopy that stretched the length of it. The emblem of the Telvian crest, along with “R.E.G.” underneath it, was stitched onto the fabric at the front end, proudly announcing that this was the Rebel Enforcement Group Command.

“We’ve gotta hurry, Mara,” Jacob shouted over his shoulder as he ran up the red carpet and pulled open the glass door.

Inside was a large lobby, bedecked in golds, reds, and white marbles. Plush waiting chairs, several plastic plants in pots, and ornate end tables filled the space. The red carpet continued through the lobby, past four elevators—two on either side—and ending at a large, circular check-in desk.

It was empty.

“No,” Jacob whispered as he slowed his pace. Then he repeated more forcibly, “No, no, no!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Everyone’s gone. It’s been evacuated already.”

A grim sense of doom curled into my belly, but I cleared my throat and tried to be optimistic. “What floor is the lab on? Maybe they focused on getting the people out and didn’t worry about the tech?”

Jacob nodded, but his furrowed brows and sullen look told me he was worried. I followed him through the lobby, past the elevators, and made a right turn to the emergency stairwell. Jacob opened the door.

“The NIT Lab is on the third floor,” he said as he started taking the stairs, two at a time. We hustled, climbing fast. And with each step we climbed, the sense that we were already too late grew.

Coming onto the third floor, Jacob snagged the door handle, yanked it open, and made a sharp left down the hall. I followed, feeling my heart beat like the wings of a hummingbird as I pursued him. A small part of me was worried that we would run into someone, but the place was completely deserted. Office doors left wide open, computers, purses, bags, coats—all left behind as people fled the building in a panic.

I wonder what they were told? Was a mandatory viewing held, warning the people that the rebels had attacked the city and they needed to flee for their lives? Or perhaps Raúl told them that the evacuation was a mere precaution, and they had nothing to fear? I suppose it depended on which one served him better, which story helped to further the narrative he needed to maintain power and control.

Jacob made another sharp turn, this one to the right, and then slowed as he approached a massive wooden door with a sign that read Neural Technology Laboratory on it. Finally, he stopped, the frown bigger than it had been downstairs. But he placed his hand on the handle, tested to see if it was locked, and closed his eyes with a grimace. The door opened easily under the weight of his hand.

Oh no…

It swung out, creaking on its hinges, revealing a large lab filled with white desks, cabinets with glass doors, and empty glass tables. We both stepped into the dimly lit room, little sun coming in through the heavily tinted windows, and looked across the space. Not one person was in the room, and neither were their computers or prototypes, or anything, for that matter. Except for the furniture, everything else was completely gone.

I stepped further into the room, eyes searching each desk, each shelf, each cabinet for any sign of anything, but I found none. “I don’t understand,” I whispered, the hairs on the back of my neck rising.

“What don’t you get?” Jacob snapped. “We’re too late.” He let out a disheartened growl as he kicked over a wastebasket, sending it rocketing across the floor. Not a single piece of trash fell out. Jacob banged his fist on a table as he cried out in frustration.

“We’re too late!” He slipped off his bag and chucked it across the room, causing me to jump as it collided with a lamp on a desk and then went falling to the ground. He kicked another wastebasket, then knocked over another lamp as an anguished cry came from the depths of him.

“Jacob!” I admonished him. “Someone will—”

“What?” he snapped back, his tone acidic. “Hear me? Don’t you get it? Can’t you see?” I opened my mouth to respond, but he just barreled over me. “Nobody’s here! They evacuated and took everything!” He reached forward, grabbed a desk chair, and threw it across the room.

“Stop it!” I snapped back at him. “I get you’re pissed off, but that’s not going to help us right now. We’ve got to figure out what we’re going to do.”

“There’s nothing we can do, Mara! We failed!”

“Stop! Just stop it! Something doesn’t make sense. Something’s off.” My mind was whirling with the details of the space, and something just didn’t add up.

Jacob laughed sardonically. “It doesn’t matter. We’re all fucked now.”

“Listen to me. Take a good look at this place,” I said as I held my hand out at the room. “It’s all gone. Everything. There’s nothing here. Every other office we passed on the way up had purses or briefcases, computers, files…stuff. Every other office had stuff in it. Doesn’t it seem weird that this lab is the only one that is completely empty?” I walked over to another wastebasket, picked it up, and turned it over. Nothing came out.

“Look at this,” I said. I dropped it and then grabbed another and turned it over, too. Nothing spilled out of it either. “You’re going to tell me that absolutely no one in this lab had trash to throw out today? They’re all empty.” Jacob’s eyes flickered, calculating, absorbing.

I walked over to one of the glass cabinets lined up against the wall. “Look at these.” I pointed at the empty shelves. Then I walked over to a desk, opening the drawers and finding them empty too. “Everything is gone. There’s not even a freaking paperclip in here. It’s all just gone.”

This time, he moved, walking toward a desk and opening it. Then he shifted to another and opened that one too, then a third. Finally, he slowed and looked at me. “The lab was never evacuated,” he mumbled. “They moved the lab before today.”

“Why?” I asked.

“They had to have known we were coming.”

“That’s impossible.”

Then I froze. Because I heard the last sound I ever expected to hear. I heard clapping. We both whirled around to face the opposite end of the room. But there was nothing. Nothing but empty desks and chairs, until my eyes came to rest on the only chair that was turned away from us. And slowly—ever so slowly—it spun around. And there, sitting quite relaxed as he leisurely clapped, was Raúl.

80: The Red Button

With a cynical smile, Raúl stood up, placing both his hands in the pockets of his slacks. His salt and peppered beard was neatly groomed, and his hair finely combed back. The dark gray suit allowed for his crimson-red tie to pop dramatically.

“But how—” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. I was in too much shock. We’d come all this way, done all of this, to be in an empty room with Raúl calmly waiting for us. What went wrong?

He sighed. “Oh, my dear Mara, you never learn, do you? If there was one thing I tried to teach you, it was that you never know who you can trust. And as such, you should trust no one…including family,” he concluded, swiftly shifting his gaze onto Jacob, cocking a brow at him.

My body went cold. No. It couldn’t be. I turned to face my brother, who was glaring at Raúl, but then slowly shifted to face me.

“You…you tricked me?” I whispered, each syllable feeling like a knife in the chest. “You betrayed me?”

Jacob’s brows knitted together as he glanced back at our dad, then back at me. “Wait, what? No. No, I—”

“It’s all right, son. You’ve done your part well. You convinced her to betray her peers, just as we planned. Excellent work.”

My jaw dropped as tears flooded my vision. “How could you?”

Pain etched the lines of Jacob’s face. “Mara, I would never betray you. You know me! You know I would only ever protect you.”

Raúl chuckled softly. “There’s no need to keep up the charade, my boy. You’ve done what you needed to do. It’s difficult when the ones you love scheme against you, isn’t it, Mara?”

I wiped a tear from my cheek. This was too much…too much hurt and betrayal. “I trusted you, Jacob.”

He reached out, grabbing my shoulders and forced me to face him. “Don’t believe him, Mara. He’s lying. I would never betray you.”

“Such a shame,” Raúl cooed. “It’s all right, son. She had to learn the truth, eventually.”

Jacob whirled on our father. “You son of a bitch!” And then he lunged at him, racing across the room, prepared to take Raúl down.

Raúl didn’t so much as flinch. In less than five seconds, Jacob was dropping to his knees, screaming out in agony as he grabbed fistfuls of his hair and pulled.

“Jacob!” I screamed, falling to the floor next to him. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?” But he couldn’t reply. All he did was yell out. I looked at Raúl. “What did you do to him?”

Slowly, my father pulled out his left hand, holding a little black remote with several colorful buttons—red, blue, green, and yellow—and his thumb was pushing down on the blue one. He released it, and suddenly Jacob stopped screaming, and rolled onto his side, panting heavily. My mind put the pieces together, and the reality caused a deep sense of dread to fill my entire being.

“I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this,” Raúl said softly as he took a step toward us. “It truly is such a shame.”

I stood up, curling my hands into fists. “How could you do that to him? He’s your son!”

Raúl’s gaze hardened. “That’s exactly why I did it. He left me little choice, and I refused to watch my son burn alive. But this way…this way he gets to live.”

Jacob groaned. “How? It wasn’t supposed to—”

“Be activated?” Raúl finished. “Yes, well, we decided it was time to advance the project. Sally was most helpful.”

“What are you talking about?” This was confusing me. What did Sally have to do with any of this?

“Oh? You haven’t put it all together yet?” Raúl chuckled condescendingly. “Such a pity. I took you to be brighter than that.” He sidestepped, slowly circling us. “There is no bigger pet peeve of mine than a villain who reveals his entire plot at the end of it all. Although, given my current position, I think I do understand why they do it.” He stopped walking, one hand clasping the wrist of the other. “I really don’t want to give away the big ending, but I suppose I’ll just say that she may have given Jacob the wrong deadline on purpose.”

Jacob got to his feet, shaking, as I reached to help him up. “Sally never would have done that. She never would have betrayed me like that,” Jacob shot back. But I could hear it. I heard the pain and doubt in the timbre of his weakened voice.

Raúl sighed. “I am sorry, my dear boy. Losing faith in those we love is a hard lesson to learn…much like the lesson I had to learn when you both betrayed me,” he sneered.

I closed my eyes, feeling the defeat slowly consuming me. We lost. The stupid nanochips were active. There was nothing here to destroy. What were we going to do now?

Raúl took a deep breath. “Well, I suppose we’ve come to the end of it all.”

“You’re never going to get away with this,” Jacob shot back.

“Oh, I already have,” he replied confidently. “Today, the Dissenters will meet their end, and a new power will rise across this nation. They’re already losing on the battlefield as we speak. And after today, every prisoner of war will be retrofitted with NIT-V2, and my army will become more powerful than ever before. I will see the end of this stupid rebellion, and Telvia will finally be free of war.”

“But…but how?” I just couldn’t believe it. I didn’t understand. How did we not see any of this coming? How could Raúl have tricked us all so epically?

“My dear girl,” he tsked. And for once, I thought I saw true pity in his eyes for me. “I wanted things to be different. But we all make our choices, and then we have to live with the consequences of the choices we make.”

“There is a traitor, isn’t there? You wanted me to believe it was Jacob, but there is someone who’s feeding you information, isn’t there?” It was the only thing that made sense. The only way Raúl could have known we were coming, giving him time to move the entire lab and advance the project. It was the only reason why he would be sitting in this stupid lab right now…because he knew we would show up, and he wanted to see our faces personally when we realized he was several steps ahead of us.

“Allies are a fickle thing, my dear,” he said, the words falling from his lips gently. “It would seem they are easily bought by money and power.”

My eyes widened as Raúl confirmed my suspicions. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real. There’s no way it was all going to end like this!

Raúl took a step toward me, but Jacob stepped in front, planting himself between me and our father. “Don’t you dare get close to her. Don’t you dare!”

Raúl grimaced, putting his hands up in mock surrender. “Of course, my son. I wouldn’t dream of hurting your sister.” We both glared at him and watched as a sinister smile took over Raúl’s lips. He shook the remote delicately in his hand. “That’s your job.”

“What?” Jacob and I said in unison.

Then Raúl pushed the red button.

81: The Bomb

Jacob convulsed and dropped to the floor on his hands and knees, causing me to scream.

“Jacob!” I fell next to him again, not sure what to do to help him. He convulsed for several agonizing seconds until he finally stopped and just panted while remaining on all fours. “Jacob?” I whispered. “Are you okay?” He turned to look at me, catching my gaze. Something was different. Something was wrong. “Jacob?”

I never saw it coming. He moved so quickly, so fast, that I didn’t even get a chance to react. I fell onto my back, my head hitting the tile floor. And just as I opened my eyes to move, I felt a hard kick to my ribs, causing me to yelp out in pain. Then another, and another, causing me to curl up in a ball to protect myself.

I screamed. “Jacob! Stop it!”

“He can’t, my dear girl,” Raúl said calmly as Jacob grabbed the collar of my shirt and vest in one hand and the waistband of my pants in the other, lifted me up, held me high, and then threw me across the room.

SLAM!

My body smacked into a desk, toppling over the top and flipping down onto the floor of the other side. Oh god…this was not good. I tried to get up, tried to hurry. But no sooner was I up on my feet, Jacob was there, pulling his fist back and clocking me, sending me spinning back to the ground. I was seeing stars. I tasted the iron richness of blood over my tongue. I coughed, watching as red sprinkled the floor.

WHAM!

Jacob’s booted foot hit me right in the temple, causing me to fall over and cry out. The world was spinning, and I was losing. I tried to scramble onto my feet, feeling dizzy. “Jacob, please!” I hardly got the words out when he grabbed me by the back of the head and then slammed my face into a desk. And I dropped to the floor again, fluid filling my mouth, threatening to drown me. I rolled over, coughing out a mouthful of thick metallic blood.

BAM!

I screamed out as I took a kick to my gut. My vision blurred, and I could hardly breathe through my nose that had swollen up. Just as my sight cleared, I saw my brother draw his foot back, readying another kick, when he screamed out and stumbled backward.

“Mara!” Jacob said in between screams. “End it!”

Shock and fear rattled through me as I tried to get to my feet, the room spinning as I rose. What was happening? What was going on? Was he—was he resisting the implant?

Suddenly, Jacob’s body convulsed as his hands flew into his hair and he dropped back onto his knees.

“Follow orders!” Raúl yelled. I turned, and noticed he was pushing the blue button again, and then he shifted back to the red button.

Oh shit!

I snapped my attention back to Jacob. He was back on his feet, racing toward me. Adrenaline and instinct took over. I slipped into my fighting stance and just as he came in close enough, I kicked out, hitting him in the gut and then punched out with my left, causing him to stumble back. I took the opportunity and rushed toward him, delivering a sidekick straight into his sternum, sending him falling backwards.

Think, Mara, think!

How the hell was I going to get myself out of this mess?

“Mara!” Jacob screamed out, drawing my attention to him. “Finish it!” And suddenly he was convulsing again on the ground.

Finish it? Finish what?

I glanced back at Raúl, and sure enough, he was pushing the stupid blue button again. “You asshole!” I charged him. I needed to get my hands on that remote. No remote, no mind control. Raúl quickly pressed the red button, and suddenly I was being body slammed onto my left side, Jacob on top of me, straddling me.

“Sieze her!” Raúl ordered.

He flipped me onto my back, and then his hands were around my neck, squeezing hard. My hands flew to his wrists, scratching at his skin, pulling on his arms. But I couldn’t muster a single word. I just felt the pressure build and build in my brain, making me feel as though I was about to explode. And suddenly, Jacob threw himself off me, screaming as he scrambled away as fast as he could.

“The remote, Mara! The remote!” And then he was convulsing again, screaming as he tore at his scalp.

I coughed, breathing in ragged breaths as I tried to get on my feet. I looked back at Raúl. Stumbling, I started to charge him when something hit me from behind. I went flying forward onto my face, hitting my nose that I was sure was broken. Tears flooded my vision from the sting as something grabbed me, lifted me off the floor, and then sent me hurtling across the lab, into a glass cabinet that shattered into a million shards all over me.

“It’s no use, Mara,” Raúl gloated. “Even if you manage to get this remote, nothing will change. I have dozens more, and with Sally’s handiwork, we would just simply deactivate this remote and activate a different one.”

I moved, wincing as every shift dug glass into my skin, drawing blood.

“Even if you escaped with him now, he would never escape my control.”

I slowly got to my feet, coughing up more blood.

“Jacob will always be a civil servant of his country,” Raúl stated proudly. “There’s no undoing it.”

I stumbled, panting ragged breaths. “We’ll save him…I’ll save him,” I said weakly.

Raúl smiled, looking at me like I was a little girl playing with dolls. “My dear Mara, he’s mine. The implant is permanent. Try to remove it, and you’ll kill him.”

My eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

This time, his smile was devious, sinister. “It’s quite brilliant, actually. Think of it as an anti-theft device. Any tampering with the nanochip causes it to send out one last electrical charge, too powerful for the brainstem to handle.” He snapped his fingers. “Dead. Just like that. You see, the only way your brother lives is if he stays with me.”

Oh my god… I shifted my eyes to Jacob and watched as he grimaced, tipping his chin downward, defeated. With a heavy breath, he lifted his head again, tears glistening in his eyes.

“You see, Mara, I will always win. In fact, I already have.” Raúl sighed, pulling back on his sleeve, and looking at his tab. “Well, it seems like we’re out of time. Your pathetic rebellion should be all but destroyed out there, and I’m sure your mother will want us home for dinner. So, it seems like it would be best to finish this part and get on with it.” Raúl walked to Jacob and patted him on the back. “Come now, son. Let’s get this part over with.” Raúl pushed the red button. Jacob shuddered for a moment, set his gaze on me, and charged.

This was it. There was nothing left to do. Nowhere left to run. My stunner was gone and there was no way I was going to shoot my brother. I was out of options, except… I glanced around and saw Jacob’s backpack on the floor several yards from me.

The bomb.

I made a beeline for it, knocking over chairs as I went, throwing any obstacle I could in Jacob’s path. I leaped, sliding across the ground, snagging the satchel, and then whipped up onto my knees. Tearing open the bag, I snatched the detonator and held it up high as I flipped open the protective casing and pushed the red button. “Call him off or we all die!” I screamed.

“Stop!” Raúl yelled, and Jacob came to a screeching halt only three yards away from me. We were poised like a triangle, with me now between the two of them.

“I have enough explosives in this bag to destroy this entire floor, and I’ve already pushed the button. We’ve got exactly ten minutes to get out of here or we’re all going to die,” I explained through ragged breaths.

“I don’t believe you,” Raúl sneered.

I stuck a hand into the bag and pulled out a digital clock connected to wires and several packs of TNT. And with each passing second, the red numbers counted down. “Believe me now?”

Raúl glared at me. “Stupid girl. Disarm it or I’ll have him kill you.”

“You’ll have him kill me either way. Give me the fucking remote, or I’m going to let this thing count down and smile when it gets to zero!” I was out of options, and this one was one hell of a Hail Mary. I didn’t know how to deactivate a bomb, but Raúl didn’t know that. And if Raúl gave me the remote, maybe Jacob knew how to deactivate the bomb? That, or we were going to have to run like hell to get out of this place before it exploded.

Raúl looked from me, then to Jacob, and back to me. “I never thought you had it in you.”

“I guess you were wrong.”

“You’ll never free him, you understand?”

I swallowed, the sting of his words needling me. “I’m a very determined person.”

Raúl narrowed his eyes at me. One second ticked—two, three—and then, with a sigh, Raúl looked at Jacob. “It really is such a pity.” He blinked, his eyes flickering, as he set his gaze back on me. “Have it your way then,” he said. Unceremoniously, he pushed the green button and tossed the remote at me just as Jacob collapsed to the ground.

“Jacob!” I screamed. I scrambled across the ground as he convulsed, eyes closed and body thrashing like a rag doll, until he finally stopped. Blood began to drip from his ears. I whirled on Raúl. “What did you do to him?”

Raúl shook his head in that condescending way. “Not what I did to him, Mara. But what you did to him.”

“What?”

“I told you the only way he would live would be with me. But you left me no choice. So now he’ll die. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

My jaw dropped. “You killed him?”

“No, Mara. You did.” And without so much as a glance at Jacob, Raúl turned away from me and walked out of the room.

82: Two Seconds

Ireached for my brother, pulling on his collar, dragging his head into my lap. More blood was draining, leaking from his nose and out of the corners of his lips. “Jacob,” I screamed again, feeling the desperation consuming me.

He shifted ever so slightly, and his eyelids slowly lifted. The whites of his eyes were red as every delicate blood vessel ruptured, and tears of ruby red dripped out of the corners of his eyes.

“Oh my god, Jacob,” I sobbed, the tears flowing freely. “Please don’t die on me. Please!”

“Mara,” he muttered, my name hardly audible. “You have…to finish it.” Every word took effort. He struggled even to whisper.

“I can’t do this,” I cried. “Not without you. We can still do it. I can still save you,” I said as I stroked his bloodied blond hair.

He coughed, and I watched as blood oozed out of his mouth, more draining from his nose and ears. Oh my god…he was dying. He was really dying and there was nothing I could do to save him. Nothing I could do to rescue him. There were no cliffs to climb, no hounds to defeat. Nothing…nothing left to do but watch.

I caressed his face, stroking the lines of handsome cheeks as tears flowed down my own. “Oh Jacob…please don’t leave me. I can’t—” I sniffed as another sob racked my chest. “I can’t do it without you.”

His bloodied, oceanic eyes stared at me as he reached his hand up to wipe a tear from my cheek. “It’s got to end, Mara. It has to end…with us.”

“Please…please, please, please.” I didn’t know who I was begging to or what it would change, but it was the only thing I could say. The only thing I could do—beg. Beg that his life would be spared.

“Remember…I love…you.”

I nodded, the tears flowing unchecked as the sorrow consumed my soul. “I know. I love you too. And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Don’t…be sorry. I would…do it all over…again…if it meant…I saw you…one last…time.” He dropped his hand as he coughed again, choking on his own blood. And then, with one last shuddering breath, Jacob fell silent.

“Jacob?” I searched his eyes, but they were unseeing. “Jacob!” I shrieked, shaking him. But he remained lifeless in my arms, the blood pooling around us as his body bled out. “No! No, please no!” I shook him again, desperate for him to respond. But he remained limp…nothing but a shell for the soul that was once my brother. “No,” I whimpered as I pulled him into me, shifting my body so I could hold him, gripping him as though I could keep the life inside of him.

But it was of no use.

No amount of pleading, or tears, or grieving would bring him back to me. And I sobbed. I screamed out in anguish. I rocked his body with mine as I felt myself break. Shattered. None of it was worth it. None of it was worth the pain and suffering of losing my brother. And I didn’t care.

I didn’t care anymore.

Because a life without Jacob was no life at all. I had failed him. I had worked so hard, given up so much, to save him. And in the end, I killed him. I pushed Raúl, cornering him, and he turned around and did what I least expected. He took Jacob from me. And now I was lost.

Lost.

I pulled my brother’s body back, and softly laid him down on the tile, caressing his cheek as I did. I glanced at the clock, its numbers ticking down.

Five minutes.

Only five minutes remained before it would all be over. I wiped the tears from my face, and then positioned myself to lie down next to him, nestling up close, resting my head on his silent chest.

I was tired. I was so tired of losing. I lost Matias to Chelsea, Wes to his father, and Jacob to Raúl. I was so tired of always fighting the losing battle. I wanted no more of it.

And why not?

Why should I have to keep going? To have Charles Calvernon command me like a slave? God only knew what that man wanted from me, and I really didn’t want to find out. At least with Jacob, I stood a chance. We stood a chance as long as we stuck together. But that was over, and I just didn’t care anymore.

I closed my eyes, still feeling the tears streaming from my cheeks as I waited for the clock to finish counting down. A sigh escaped my lips as I resolved myself to let it all end here. No more pain. No more suffering. No more lies and schemes.

I was done. Finished.

Finish it. The little voice in my head niggled me. Finish it, Mara.

I shuddered. I didn’t want to.

Jacob’s voice whispered, It ends with us.

I opened my eyes, my gaze landing on the clock ticking down.

Three minutes.

It ends with us… Finish it.

But it was too hard, the grief too heavy. I didn’t want to do it anymore, not without my brother.

Finish it.

My mind wandered, memories drifting of Edith and Matias. Of the laughs we had at the camp. The secret moments Matias and I shared. And I loved them. But it didn’t outweigh the sorrow in my heart. I nuzzled in closer to my brother, resting my left hand on his still chest as I watched the clock beyond, silently ticking.

Two minutes.

I watched each number change, and my left hand blurred as I kept my focus on the clock beyond. I shifted slightly, and something glistened on my finger. My vision refocused and then I saw it.

My ring.

The dim lighting caught the golden diamond, causing it to glitter on my finger, and my heart seized.

Wes.

I never got the chance to tell him the truth. He would never know what really happened. That I loved him for him, for who he was.

What if he didn’t make it out of the city? What if none of them did? What if they were captured, taken to the tower, and retrofitted with NIT-V2?

No.

I couldn’t bear to think about that. To think of Wes as nothing but a mindless drone of Raúl’s, or worse…of Charles’s. Because if Charles got his hands on this technology, what would keep him from implanting Wes just like Raúl did to Jacob? And if Wes defied him, would he share Jacob’s fate? Bleeding out, suffocating on his own blood?

I sat up.

I couldn’t let that happen. I had to warn him. I had to warn all of them. I looked at the clock.

One minute.

Shit.

I looked back at my brother and gave him one last kiss on his cheek. “We’ll see each other again,” I whispered as I stroked his hair. And then I leaped over his body and grabbed the backpack, leaving the bomb behind. There was no way I was going to try and deactivate that thing. Not only did I have zero knowledge of bombs, but there wasn’t nearly enough time for me to even try.

I raced to the window, looking out below. We weren’t that far—three stories. And I had survived much higher drops than this. Remembering Wes’s epic move of smashing the window in the Admin Building, I grabbed a chair and banged it on the window—once, twice, three times—until it finally shattered. A gust of wind whipped in through the broken glass, whipping my hair all about my face. In the distance, I could still hear people screaming, terrified of the battle happening just beyond the wall. Quickly, I pulled the stash of rope my brother had packed just for this exact scenario and desperately searched for a place to tie it.

Twenty seconds.

I couldn’t find anything except…maybe a desk? It would be better than nothing. I looped the end around, tying it off.

Ten seconds.

I raced back to the window. Just below me was the main entrance into REG Command with its decorative canopy just two floors below. I could drop onto that, and then easily jump to the ground floor. I tossed the rope and turned around to climb down when my eyes caught sight of the clock.

Two seconds.

“Shit,” I breathed out, and then the bomb exploded.

***

My ears rang. My whole body felt broken. I tried to cough, but the ache inside of me kept me from attempting it again. I opened my eyes, and everything felt as though it was moving in slow motion.

The canopy drifted in the breeze, a gaping hole allowing me to look up at the clouds as plumes of black smoke poured out of the building, flames raging, licking up into the sky. Ash rained down upon me as I laid on the concrete, my body twisted. And the pain, the pain was so intense, that it stole my breath and brought me to tears. I felt the cold surround me, and watched as my vision blurred, dark circles creeping in, narrowing my sight. I couldn’t move. Every part of me felt broken. It was the only thing that could explain the pain I was in.

I tried to blink, to clear my vision, but the blackness only crept in further, until I could no longer see anything. And with one final, shuddering breath, I succumbed to the darkness.

83: Not What it Seems

WES

The pool was icy, like needles stabbing my exposed skin, and I welcomed it. One arm swung overhead, slicing the water like a knife, and pushed through it as my other arm rose to do the same. Each stroke burned, and the longer I held my breath, the more my lungs ached for air.

But I didn’t care.

I pushed through, going another several yards before lifting my head out of the water to inhale fresh oxygen, and then dropped back under again.

Memories berated me.

I watched her fall, felt fear seize my entire system like never before. She was going to die. The rocks would impale her. They said the fall was fatal. She couldn’t swim. Even if she could—her clothes, the gear—it would act like an anchor, dragging her to the bottom. She was dead.

I kept swimming, pushing myself harder than ever before, the memories acting like fuel. My lungs screamed for air, but I ignored them, kicking harder, swimming faster until I had to inhale again.

I jumped. It didn’t matter to me that she had chosen Matias. I didn’t care. Because what Mara didn’t know was that I loved her all the same. I had always loved her…even before she was mine to love. I was used to her belonging to someone else. It’s the way it had always been. But it didn’t make her choosing someone else any easier.

Whenever she said my brother’s name instead of mine, it cut deeper than any knife ever had. It pierced further than any bullet I had ever taken. And her picking Matias was no different.

But I didn’t care.

I’d risk my life a thousand times if it meant a chance at saving hers. Even if she wasn’t mine. Even though she wasn’t mine.

I reached the end of the pool, spun, and pushed off the tiled edge, penetrating through the water like a torpedo. Then I started kicking again, swinging one arm and then the other overhead and back into the water.

I leaped to my death, hoping she would live. I swam hard, blinded in the dark, but I found her. I would always find her.

And the anguish I felt at seeing her lifeless body catapulted my fear. I had never feared anything so much in my life. And I fought hard for her. I fought hard against the ocean for her life. The waves crashed, the water swelled, and all the while the sea pulled on her, trying to steal her away from me. But that was the funny part, the sad part—she had already been stolen.

I swam then to save her. I swam now to forget.

My muscles loosened, stretching, elongating with each stroke while the muscles in my thighs burned with every kick. Strong. Powerful. Painful.

I saved her. That was all that mattered. I saved her. And then I watched as she fought for her life in a hospital. I stroked her hair as she slept. I ran my thumb gently over her bottom lip, remembering the taste of her, the feel of her in my arms. I whispered in her ear, asking her to come back to me, to open her eyes and allow me just one more look at the depths of her soul. It didn’t matter that she didn’t want me. I couldn’t stop caring about her. I couldn’t stop worrying about whether she would live or die.

She had said yes. She had been mine.

And then she wasn’t.

I reached the other end of the pool, somersaulted again in the water, and was off into another lap. Each memory fueling pain. Each memory fueling anger and frustration.

I was an idiot.

I let myself think she would pick me, that she would actually want me. Stupid fucking fool. I had been damned to love someone that never loved me in return. And it was no one’s fault but mine. And I tried hard to fight it. I worked so hard to push back against it. But there was no winning a twisted game like love, was there? And now what?

My lungs cried out, begging me to take another breath. I refused. I wanted to feel the burn. I wanted to feel the ache. Because that felt so much better than the pain of a broken heart. Everything was so fucked up, and I was so confused about what to think.

It’s not what it seems…

That’s what she said. That’s what she said…right before she shot me in the heart. Then she was gone. And when I finally came to, shit had hit the fan, and we barely made it out of Telvia alive. Nobody knew why. Nobody understood her motives. She had trusted no one with her secrets. Edith keeps arguing that Mara wouldn’t betray us. But she shot me.

She stunned you.

Edith always corrects me, always emphasizes the difference. She always reminds me that Mara begged her to get us out safely. If she was betraying us, then why leave us alive? Why make sure Edith knew how to get us out?

I was so confused. And I was so worried. Nothing made sense, and she left me behind with the most cryptic message ever. It’s not what it seems.

I was an idiot.

I dared to hope.

I dared to believe that those words meant something.

Fucking stupid.

Hope was a fickle mistress, only setting me up for more pain, more rejection. I had to stop doing this to myself.

I came to the edge of the pool, feeling my heart beating fast, my breathing ragged. My muscles ached with fatigue. They trembled as I pulled myself out of the water, the smell of chlorine ripe in the air. I sauntered to the bench in front of me, reached for my white towel, and buried my face in it. I’d been spending a lot of time swimming lately, ever since the Telvian mission. Ever since she’d been incarcerated a week ago.

I drew the towel down over my throat, feeling the stainless-steel chain tug on my neck. My dog tags clinked, and instinctively, my hand went to them. I felt the rectangular metal between my fingers, and then I felt her ring resting alongside them.

My father had taken it from her when she was captured; imprisoned for betraying the North, for betraying the Dissenters, for shooting her team, for shooting me.

I was surprised he gave it back to me. Then again, I think he enjoyed salting my wounds, preening now that he had her behind bars. Letting me have her ring was just a way of reminding me I always failed. And that gave him some deep-seated satisfaction. I wanted to throw it away, to chuck it into the deepest part of the sea…

But I couldn’t.

Because no matter how wrong I had been, no matter how much she betrayed us all, I still loved her. And keeping her ring reminded me that I held her once, that she was mine if only for a little while.

I shivered as the cool temperature of the pool room caused my wet skin to prickle. This was one of the few places I found sanctuary in my father’s house. It soothed my weary soul, gave me a place to think while my body kept busy doing something productive.

No one bothered me here…until now.

Movement on my left caused me to turn my head. And I saw the last person I wanted to see.

“What are you doing here?” I narrowed my gaze at Matias as I toweled myself down. The look on his face told me he knew he wasn’t welcomed. He approached me with cautious eyes, slowly, like I was a viper coiled tight, ready to strike.

He wasn’t wrong.

He tucked his hands in the pockets of his black jeans. “We need to talk.”

I ran the towel down my torso, my fingers curling into the fabric with a death grip. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

Matias paused two yards in front of me. Stupid. Two yards was nothing to me. He would have been better—safer—staying at the opposite end of the pool.

“Wes,” he began evenly, putting his hands up, palms out. “I’m not here to fight with you, brother. But we need to talk.”

I rubbed my face in the towel again, trying to control my anger, my impulses. “My brother’s dead. I don’t have brothers anymore.”

He grimaced. “Wes,” he tried again, “I know you’re pissed at me—”

I laughed sardonically, cutting him off. “That’s an understatement.”

“I don’t blame you, but it’s not what it seems.”

I froze. It’s not what it seems. That’s what she said…it’s not what it seems.

Matias pushed the advantage given to him by my hesitation. “Mara and I…it’s not like that between us. She doesn’t love me. Not like that.” He took a step towards me, and my whole body tensed as I glared at him. He stopped mid-step, reading my body language. “You have to do something. You have to help her.”

I turned away from him. “I don’t have to do anything.”

“She cares about you, Wes.”

My entire chest tightened, my lungs feeling like a vice had wrapped itself around them and squeezed. “She chose you.”

“No, she didn’t,” Matias snapped. “She wants you. She picked you, but something happened, and she couldn’t go through with it. So she asked for my help—”

I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth, shutting him out. I couldn’t do this. I wouldn’t let myself be dragged under again. Hope was a painful thing, a deadly thing. “You need to leave.” It was a warning to him. I had little patience left, little judgment, little grace. If he didn’t go, there was no telling what I would do.

“She was scared, Wes.” His voice was hard and angry, echoing in the poolroom. “She came to me because she was scared—”

“Shut the fuck up!” I whipped around to face him. “She betrayed me, she betrayed you, she betrayed everyone—”

“You’re fucking stupid,” he spat out, his words dripping dark venom.

My hands clenched into fists as I took a step toward him. “Want to say that again, huh? I dare you. Say it again and watch what happens.”

“She loves you, Wes.” It was a slap across my face. “She fucking loves you.” Matias ran both his hands through his hair, pacing in a circle before facing me again. “She wanted you to think she was in love with me so you wouldn’t go after her. Something happened—something bad, and she didn’t have a choice. And now she’s locked up someplace, and I’m seriously freaking worried! Nobody knows where she is, and I have a terrible feeling about it. Something’s going on, and you need to do something.”

I opened and closed my hands, feeling a deep burn simmering through my entire body. Matias’s concerns were pulling on my broken heart. Was she in trouble? Did she need me? I didn’t push my father for the details of her incarceration—I couldn’t. It hurt too bad and my father wouldn’t allow me visiting her, anyway. Mom would get the painful end of that, and she suffered too much already. It wasn’t fair to her.

I shook my head. I couldn’t do this again. I had to bury what I felt for her. It hurt too much. She made her choice, and that choice wasn’t me. “Leave,” I ordered. “I need you gone.”

“Fuck,” Matias muttered, kicking the wall. Then he whirled back to face me, eyes narrowed and looking more pissed off than I’d ever seen him. “That night at the gala, I asked her to be with me. I did. And you know what? She turned me down.” He pointed an accusatory finger at me. “She turned me down for you. She denied me for you.”

My jaw clenched so tight, I thought I was going to crack a molar. But was it true? I tossed the towel on the bench and faced him. “Why would she end things?”

“Because she had to!” Matias snapped out, frustrated. “That’s what I’m saying. She didn’t have a choice! You think I want to admit to you that you won? That she wants you instead of me? Hell no!” He worked his jaw, shoving his hands through his hair once more. “She swore me to secrecy, okay? But I’ll tell you whatever the hell you want to know as long as you help her. Something’s wrong, Wes. I can feel it. Something else has happened, and I’m worried about what’s going to happen next. But I can’t help her. That’s why I’m here.”

My heart pounded, adrenaline coursing through me like a fever. It’s not what it seems. Her words kept spinning in my head, begging me to believe. I looked up at Matias. “Calista said she saw you both on the balcony.”

Matias halted, his whole body going rigid as stone. “Yeah, she did. And it’s true…I kissed her. I kissed her hoping that she would—” he hesitated, swallowing hard, shifting his gaze away from me before facing me head on. “I kissed her, hoping that she would feel something for me. That I could help her remember us, what we used to be. But,” he shook his head, “she pulled back.” Matias’s mouth hung open, words seemingly caught in his throat until he finally pushed them out. “And she told me she loved you.” He shoved his hands back in his pockets, shoulders going slack once more. “I knew I couldn’t compete anymore after that. It was over.”

Pain laced his words. Defeat gripped his face. I knew the look and sound of a rejected man. I had lived that experience before, knowing she was with him and not with me. Knowing she tasted Chase’s name on her tongue instead of mine.

I stared at Matias, disbelief and hope at war within me. She told him she loved me.

It’s not what it seems.

She came to him for help because she was afraid of something.

It’s not what it seems.

She was trying to tell me something, trying to talk to me, and I kept pushing her aside because I didn’t want to hear it.

It’s not what it seems.

Did she really want me? Did she truly pick me?

It’s not what it seems.

She told me in five words what I needed to know: that it was real. What we shared was real.

Hope swept through me like a tidal wave, bringing a fresh swell of adrenaline and a sense of cautious relief that filled me with an electrical buzz more powerful than any bolt of lightning. Then…I laughed. I tipped my head back and laughed deeply. It wasn’t what it seemed. Nothing was what it seemed.

“Dude,” Matias said heedfully, “are you okay?”

I just kept laughing.

“Seriously, Wes, are you all right? I’m a little freaked out—”

He didn’t get a chance to finish his thought. In a matter of seconds, I whipped my head forward, closed the gap between us, and punched him. Matias’s head snapped back as he stumbled backwards. And when he brought his face forward again, he touched his hand to his nose and stared at his own blood on his fingertips. I cracked my neck, and it felt good. I needed that. He deserved that.

“What the fuck, Wes?” He sneered at me. “What the hell?”

The laughter was gone, but I smiled, lifting my hand and pointing right at him. “That’s for kissing her at the gala, for kissing my promised.” Promised…the word felt so good, tasted so good to say again. “Don’t you ever fucking do that again.”

Matias looked guarded for half a second, and then he wiped away the blood from his nose with a smirk. “That’s fair. Are we good?”

I glanced at him, my hand drawing up, touching her ring. “Yeah, we’re good.”

He nodded. “Then what are we going to do?”

I ran my hand through my hair, my mind buzzing. I had to get her out. I didn’t know how, but I had to get her out of there before it was too late. Before the prison broke her. I shook my head. “I don’t know.” I grabbed my towel again and started walking. “I’ve got to talk to Sasha. She may be the only one that can save her now.”

“Sasha? Why Sasha?” Matias fell in step beside me.

“Because Sasha doesn’t answer to the North, and she doesn’t answer to my dad. If there’s a loophole to getting Mara out of this mess, she’ll know it.”

Matias fell quiet beside me, and my mind kept spinning. It’s not what it seems. Something happened, and Mara acted. I didn’t know what, and I didn’t know why, but I was going to find out. And I had a sneaking suspicion that my father was part of it. Why else would he give me her ring if not as a silent way to gloat at his triumph?

It wasn’t what it seemed.

She loved me. My hand drew up to her ring a third time, feeling the stone I had agonized so much to pick out. I loved her. I was hers.

Even in anger, I was hers.

Even in hurt, I was hers.

Even in betrayal, I was hers.

I had always been hers.

And I always would be…always.

Dear Reader,

I hope you loved Resist and are itching to see what happens next. It’s all about to go up in flames! Filled with high-stakes romance, gritty rebellion, and the hope that love can change even the darkest of hearts, Rise is the powerful, heart-wrenching conclusion that will leave you breathless until the very last page. Will Wes save Mara? Can they rise to be the leaders their people need? Or will they fall prey to their fears and watch the world burn?

Ready to rise? Let’s go!

Buy Rise Now

If you enjoyed Resist, I ask that you please leave a review. Most readers don’t review or rate the books they read, but these ratings have a huge impact on whether a book succeeds. Please help others discover Mara’s story by leaving a review now. It truly helps, and I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

Leave a Review

Finally, are you #TeamWes? If you are, then I have a gift for you. Use the link below and download a free #TeamWes bookmark. It’s my way of saying thank you for being a reader. Enjoy!

Download Your Bookmark

Acknowledgements

I can’t believe the journey we’ve shared! Thank you so much for picking up Dissent, reading Mara’s story, and then continuing that journey in this book. I hope Resist hit you in all the feels, and that you squealed once or twice. There is so much more coming your way, so hang on to your seats, because the rebellion is definitely rising!

As you can imagine, writing a book is hard work. There is so much sacrifice that goes into it, as well as tears, sweat, and joy. It never would have been possible without the support of friends and family.

To begin, thank you to my editor, Tayler Bailey McLendon from Bailey and Bloom Ink, who poured her heart into polishing this project into the best version of itself. Tayler, thank you for the countless hours you put in, for all the time you spend talking me off the Struggle Bus, and always meeting me with a bright smile. You have been incredibly supportive, and I absolutely couldn’t have done it without you.

Next, I want to thank my sisters, mother, niece, daughter, and friends, who continued to pour their time into helping me with Resist. They beta read and put up with my countless questions about book cover design and stylistic choices. So thank you to Kassandra, Karina, Rachel, Clara, Gayleen, Susan, Irianna, and Tayler! I appreciate you all so much, and am so grateful you guys were all part of the journey.

A special shout out is due to my sisters, Kassandra and Karina, who (once again) labored over the original drafts of this book, giving tips and advice as I wrote and rewrote Resist into the version you now hold in your hands. Sisters, thank you! You truly are my bestest friends! Like Papi used to say, it’s just us against the world!

Thank you to all of my beta readers! These were individuals who didn’t know me at all, but answered my call for a fresh pair of eyes to beta read The Dissenter Saga before I released Dissent and Resist. These women took time out of their busy schedules to read and provide me with feedback that helped shape the books you now have. Thank you! I told you then, but I’ll tell you again, I truly appreciate you.

Finally, thank you to my husband and kids. They have been encouraging me since the very beginning, and have to deal with my constant chatter about plot, characters, and publishing decisions. I love all three of you, and I couldn’t imagine taking this journey without you.

And finally, thank you, the reader. Writing a book is no fun (and frankly just not worth it) when there’s nobody reading. Thank you for taking this journey with me. I am so honored to have you, and I hope you will join me for the epic conclusion to Mara’s story.

About the Author

Josephine Lamont is a Cuban-American author, living in Covina, California. She is a lover of all romantasy stories and enjoys writing tales of strong women facing impossible odds and sexy book boyfriends. When she’s not hard at work writing, she spends her time reading, watching ghost documentaries, camping, or hanging out with her family. Josephine loves connecting with her readers. Visit her at jlamontbooks.com

Table of Contents

1: Mission Overload

2: Mission Failure

3: Mission Terminated

4: Mission Complete

5: Free Fall

6: Hellhounds

7: Duck

8: The Rebels

9: Weirder

10: Lost

11: Bait and Switch

12: Schemes

13: Promised

14: Runaway Bride

15: FML

16: Castle Calvernon

17: Pedigree

18: The Skank Drawer

19: All My Demons

20: Burden

21: Wealth. Power. Survival. Revenge.

22: Optics

23: Stupid Grape

24: No Ticket, No Laundry

25: That’s What She Said

26: Exes Ruin Everything

27: Rock and a Hard Place

28: Just Hormones

29: Mic Drop

30: Power Plays

31: Two Can Play that Game

32: Never Again

33: Mission Parameters

34: Hell Games

35: Dining with Mr. Hyde

36: Stay

37: Climb

38: Cat Fight

39: Girl Problems

40: Say Yes to the Dress

41: Disfigured Disgrace

42: Those Hazel Eyes

43: One More Chance

44: Always

45: Not Anymore

46: Hungry

47: The First Daughter of Telvia

48: Nightmare

49: Just Getting Started

50: Point (Heart) Break

51: For Wes

52: Shattered

53: Goodbye

54: Go Time

55: Clink and Snap!

56: F28

57: Perhaps

58: Modified

59: Yellow, Yellow, Red

60: Stasis

61: Only One

62: Red Light, Green Light

63: Please

64: Over the Edge

65: Three, Two, One…

66: Wrong

67: Flashback

68: Detained

69: Royally Screwed

70: NIT-V2

71: Knock, Knock…Who’s There?

72: Finish It

73: Honey-Baked Hams

74: Incognito

75: Right in the Heart

76: Ready or Not

77: Eyes on Me

78: A Memory

79: Everything

80: The Red Button

81: The Bomb

82: Two Seconds

83: Not What it Seems

Acknowledgements

About the Author