in association with Neil McPherson
for the Finborough Theatre presents

The World Premiere

DREAM OF
PERFECT SLEEP

by Kevin Kautzman

First performance at the Finborough Theatre: Tuesday, 17 June 2014.

Supported by

We are proud to support the following charities. All proceeds from the programme will be donated to:

Alzheimer’s Research UK (ARUK) is the UK’s leading dementia research charity whose vision is a world free from dementia. Dementia research funding lags far behind other diseases – just 2.5% of the Government’s medical research is spent on dementia whereas a quarter is spent on cancer research.

Charity Registration Numbers 1077089 and SC042474.

Dementia UK is a national charity that aims to improve the quality of life for all people affected by dementia and are the only organization to provide a free and individualized nurse service (Admiral Nurses) to family carers and people with dementia.

Charity Registration Number 1039404.

Alzheimer’s Society is the UK’s leading care and research charity for people with dementia and those who care for them. They provide information and support for people with all forms of dementia and those who care for them. It campaigns for improved health and greater public understanding and awareness of dementia.

Charity Registration Number 296645.

DREAM OF
PERFECT SLEEP

by Kevin Kautzman

Cast in order of appearance: |
Mary | Susan Tracy
Gene | Martin Wimbush
Robert | Cory English
Melissa | Lisa Caruccio Came

Gene and Mary’s living room. The United States of America. June, the present.

The performance lasts approximately ninety minutes. There will be no interval.

Director | Max Pappenheim
Designer | Holly Seager
Lighting Designer | Elliot Griggs
Composer | Angus MacRae
Movement Director | Lucy Cullingford
Casting | Emily Jones
| and Alice Krijgsman
Stage Manager | Niki Buys
Education Relationship |
Development Officer | Emma Cahill
Producer and General Manager | Artyzan Productions

Our patrons are respectfully reminded that, in this intimate theatre, any noise such as rustling programmes, talking or the ringing of mobile phones may distract the actors and your fellow audience-members.

We regret there is no admittance or re-admittance to the auditorium whilst the performance is in progress.

Lisa Caruccio Came | Melissa

Productions at the Finborough Theatre include Saturn Returns and Nothing is the End of the World (Except for the End of the World). Trained at Tisch School of The Arts, New York. Theatre includes Secret Cinema Presents The Grand Budapest Hotel (Secret Cinema), A Thousand Miles of History (Bussey Building), Rocket To The Moon (National Theatre), The Fever Chart (Trafalgar Studios and Theatre Royal York), The Six Wives of Timothy Leary (Riverside Studios and Pleasance Edinburgh), Richard III (The Drill Hall and Tour), The Woodsman (Old Red Lion Theatre), The Dybbuk (King’s Head Theatre), Time of The Tortoise (Theatre503), Oleanna (Mountview Directors’ Showcase) and Camel Station (Theatre Museum and National Tour).

Theatre in New York includes A Midsummer Night’s Dream, The Winter’s Tale (Lion Theatre, Theatre Row) and The Tempest (Looking Glass Theatre).

Film includes Mnemophrenia, Sprawlers, and That Samba Thing.

Radio includes Seeing In The Dark and The Hamam Bride.

Cory English | Robert

Theatre includes Urinetown (St. James Theatre), Somewhere in Time (Portland Centre Stage, Portland, Oregon), Chicago (Ambassador Theatre, Broadway), Young Frankenstein (Foxwoods Theatre, Broadway and National Tour), The Producers (Theatre Royal, Drury Lane and National Tour), A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (St. James Theatre, Broadway), Hello Dolly (Lunt-Fontanne Theatre, Broadway), Damn Yankees (Marquis Theatre, Broadway), Guys and Dolls (Martin Beck Theatre, Broadway) and Gypsy (St James Theatre, Broadway).

Film includes Mountainaire.

Television includes Oz and Britain’s Got The Pop Factor.

Susan Tracy | Mary

Productions at the Finborough Theatre include Variation On A Theme.

Susan has been twice nominated for an Olivier Award.

Theatre includes Terence Rattigan’s Nijinsky, The Deep Blue Sea, Playhouse Creatures (Chichester Festival Theatre), The Relapse, Three Sisters, Anna Christie, Merry Wives of Windsor, Othello (Royal Shakespeare Company), Much Ado About Nothing (Open Air Theatre, Regent’s Park), Long Day’s Journey into Night (Cambridge Theatre Company), The Old Wives Tale (New Vic Theatre, Newcastle-under-Lyme), Denial (Bristol Old Vic), Anything Goes (National Theatre and Theatre Royal, Drury Lane), A Passage to India (Shared Experience, National Tour and BAM in New York), Richard II, Inherit the Wind (The Old Vic) and A Chorus of Disapproval (Harold Pinter Theatre). Television includes Midsomer Murders, The Stars Look Down, Born and Bred, The Diary of Anne Frank and Poirot.

Martin Wimbush | Gene

Productions at the Finborough Theatre include The Potting Shed and Outward Bound.

Trained at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama.

Theatre includes Outside Edge, The Mystery Of Edwin Drood, City Of Angels, The Importance Of Being Earnest (West End), Lady In The Van (Hull Truck Theatre and National Tour), Hot Property (Old Red Lion Theatre), Humble Boy (National Tour), The Shell Seekers (National Tour), The Beastly Chronicles Of Saki (Jermyn Street Theatre), Svejk (Gate Theatre), Me And My Girl (Alexandra Theatre, Birmingham), Charley’s Aunt (Northcott Theatre, Exeter) and most recently How To Build A Better Tulip (Tabard Theatre). His one-man show Wellington continues to tour.

Film includes The Iron Lady, Anna Karenina, Scar Tissue, Orlando, Gangster No1, Bridget Jones’s Diary, Shadowlands, Wimbledon, Mean Machine, Ali G In Da House and The Old Curiosity Shop. Television includes The Thirteenth Tale, Hustle, East Enders, Garrow’s Law, Hiroshima, Cape Wrath, The Lost Prince, Victoria and Albert, Micawber, Mystery Of Men, Vanity Fair, A Dance To The Music Of Time, Holding On, The Alleyn Mysteries, Natural Lies, Countess Alice, Lovejoy, Boon, Coronation Street, Glittering Prizes and Upstairs Downstairs.

Kevin Kautzman | Playwright

Playwright Kevin Kautzman is originally from North Dakota, an alumnus of the University of Minnesota and also holds an MFA from the University of Texas at Austin. His full-length plays include Coyote (Nouveau 47, Dallas), If You Start A Fire [Be Prepared To Burn] (45th Street Theatre, New York), Iris (Red Eye, Minneapolis), Wolf Cry Wolf (New Theatre Project, Ypsilanti), Life Electric, Then Waves and Vasilisa Most Lovely. His short plays include Clifton Mill (Nouveau 47), The Play is Memory, Rosemary (History Theatre), Strike, Solomon the King, and most recently $<0RP!0. Awards for Dream of Perfect Sleep include the Southwest Playwriting Award and The Kernodle New Play Award. Further honours for Kevin include the Jerome and Michener fellowships, the Tennessee Williams and Kenyon Institute scholarships, International Student Playscript Competition and Repertory Theatre Iowa’s Alpha Project Award. He has also received commissions from History Theatre and Red Eye, and his work has been performed and developed around the US.

Max Pappenheim | Director

Productions at the Finborough Theatre include Nothing is the End of the World (Except for the End of the World), nominated for three Off West End Awards, Perchance to Dream and Avow as part of Vibrant 2013 – A Festival of Finborough Playwrights. Directing includes Siegfried (Fulham Opera), Finchley Road (LOST Theatre), Quid Pro Quo (Riverside Studios), San Giuda (Southwark Cathedral). Associate and Assistant Direction includes Feathers in the Snow (Southwark Playhouse) and Kafka v Kafka (Brockley Jack Theatre). Max was a runner-up for Best Director in the 2013 OffWestEnd Awards.

Holly Seager | Designer

Productions at the Finborough Theatre include The Goodnight Bird and Hindle Wakes, nominated for five OffWestEnd Awards including Best Designer.

Designs include The Marriage of Figaro (Hampstead Garden Opera at Upstairs at the Gatehouse), Beats North, winner of the 2013 Northern Stage Title Pending Award (Northern Stage, Newcastle), Harlesden High Street (Tara Arts), Mansfield Park, nominated for Best Opera in the OffWestEnd Awards 2013 (Hampstead Garden Opera at Upstairs at the Gatehouse), Carmen (Epsom Playhouse), The Upstairs Room (King’s Head Theatre), Chapel Street, winner of Old Vic New Voices Edinburgh 2012 (Underbelly at the Edinburgh Festival), Geronimo (Company TSU at the ARC Stockton), Into The Woods (Royal Conservatoire of Scotland), Stag (Courtyard Theatre), The Rising (Gecko at the New Wolsey Theatre), Sweeney Todd 2011 (National Youth Music Theatre at the Rose Theatre, Kingston). Holly was Costume Assistant to Kerry Bradley on Tu i Teraz [Here and Now] (Hampstead Theatre), Associate Designer to Mark Friend on the site-specific Sweeney Todd 2010 (National Youth Music Theatre and Village Underground), Costume Supervisor to Jean-Marc Puissant on God’s Garden (Linbury Studio Theatre, Royal Opera House, Covent Garden), Assistant Costume Designer for A Celebration of Young People in the Performing Arts (National Youth Music Theatre at Buckingham Palace), and Assistant Set and Costume Designer to Jason Denvir on Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, New Boy and Life Coach (Trafalgar Studios), The Revenger’s Tragedy (Rose Theatre, Kingston), All Bob’s Women (Arts Theatre), New Boy (Tabard Theatre), and Model Maker for David Bowie Exhibition (59 Productions at the V&A Museum).

Elliot Griggs | Lighting Designer

Productions at the Finborough Theatre include Facts, Somersaults, The Soft of Her Palm, Crush, Perchance to Dream, Portraits, And I and Silence and Northern Star.

Trained at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art.

Other theatre includes Fleabag (Soho Theatre and Tour), Common Wealth (Almeida Theatre), The Boy Who Kicked Pigs (Jackson’s Lane Theatre and The Lowry, Manchester), MEAT (Theatre503), Belleville Rendez-Vous (Greenwich Theatre), Lagan (Ovalhouse), Folk Contraption (Southbank Centre), Infanticide (Camden People’s Theatre), Bitter Pleasures for a Sour Generation (Soho Theatre), Blues In The Night, Joe/Boy (The Last Refuge), Love Re:Imagined (Only Connect Central), Big Sean, Mikey and Me (Tristan Bates Theatre), The Custard Boys (Tabard Theatre), Brightest and Best (Half Moon Theatre), Dealing With Clair, One Minute, Nocturnal, Dirty Butterfly, Our Town (Royal Academy of Dramatic Art), The Mercy Seat (Royal Shakespeare Company at the Capital Centre, Warwick), The Lady’s Not For Burning, West Side Story, By the Bog of Cats, ’Tis Pity She’s a Whore, Elephant’s Graveyard (Warwick Arts Centre), Much Ado About Nothing (Belgrade Theatre, Coventry) and Dido and Aeneas (St. Paul’s Church, London and Tour).

His awards for lighting design include the Francis Reid Award from the Association of Lighting Designers and the Show Light Award from the National Student Drama Festival.

Angus MacRae | Composer

At the Finborough Theatre, Angus has composed for Nothing is the End of the World (Except the End of the World), Armstrong’s War, Lee Harvey Oswald and John Ferguson.

Theatre includes Holiday/The Eisteddfod (Bussey Building), Bear (Old Red Lion Theatre), Keepsake (Old Red Lion Theatre), I Am A Camera (Southwark Playhouse), Vessel (the Space in Edinburgh and Tour), This Near Darkness, Near Silence (Workshop at the National Theatre Studio), Meeting (The Place), Kimalia (Bernie Grant Arts Centre), Scarborough (White Bear Theatre), Joseph K (LAMDA) and Out Of Nowhere (Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford).

Film includes The Fifth (winner, Raindance 48 hour film competition), The Listener, The Other Side of Home, Thirst and Touch of Blue.

Television includes music for Toyota, Sony and Sky.

Angus is currently working on an EP of his own music, due for release later in 2014.

Lucy Cullingford | Movement Director

Productions at the Finborough Theatre include Nothing is the End of the World (Except for the End of the World), Bed and Sofa and Beating Heart Cadaver.

Theatre includes Constellations (Royal Court Theatre), Dance Repetiteur on Matilda the Musical (Royal Shakespeare Company at the Cambridge Theatre), The Spanish Golden Age, The Double and The Phoenix of Madrid (Ustinov Studio at the Theatre Royal Bath), The Revenger’s Tragedy (Hoxton Hall), The Hairy Ape (Southwark Playhouse), 20 Tiny Plays About Sheffield, Leaner, Faster, Stronger and Happy Days (Crucible Studio, Sheffield), Lives in Art (Crucible Theatre, Sheffield), Yerma (Hull Truck Theatre and the Gate Theatre), Othello (Rose Theatre, Kingston), The Winter’s Tale (Camley National Park), Movement Assistant for The Grain Store and The Drunks (Royal Shakespeare Company at the Courtyard Theatre), A Tender Thing (Royal Shakespeare Company at Northern Stage, Newcastle), Not For All the Tea in China (Chol Theatre), Mikey the Pikey (Pleasance Edinburgh), Moby Dick, Pigs, Thick As A Brick and Bouncers (Hull Truck Theatre).

Artyzan Productions | Producer and General Manager Artyzan Productions Ltd. was founded in 2011 by Maximillian Bittleston, Tim Colegate, Louise Goodman and Will Rathbone. Previous productions include The Hard Man (Finborough Theatre), Twelfth Night (Whitstable Playhouse), Martin Sherman’s Bent (Senate Building, Canterbury) and Rock Bottom (Whitstable Playhouse).

Maximillian Bittleston has worked for the last 18 months for the Ambassador Theatre Group assisting with finance management for over twenty productions including Old Times, Merrily We Roll Along, Chimerica and Mojo (all at Harold Pinter Theatre), Jamie Lloyd’s Macbeth, The Hothouse, The Pride and Richard III (all at Trafalgar Studios), Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (Savoy Theatre), 1984 (Playhouse Theatre) and national tours of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, Ghost: The Musical, The Rocky Horror Show, West Side Story and Jersey Boys UK Tour.

Tim Colegate has worked for Playful Productions since January 2014, where current and recent productions include Wicked (Apollo Victoria Theatre), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Theatre Royal, Drury Lane), The Weir (Wyndham’s Theatre), Dirty Dancing (Piccadilly Theatre and National Tour), Blithe Spirit (Gielgud Theatre) and Wolf Hall and Bring Up the Bodies (Aldwych Theatre).

Louise Goodman has company managed at Stagecoach Theatre Arts, Oxford, since February 2013. Louise has had a major role working on national tours such as Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (Bill Kenwright Ltd.), Carmen, Tosca, Aida and Nabucco (Ellen Kent Opera Ltd.) and Evita (The Really Useful Group). Louise was also responsible for managing the audition and casting of Young Simba in the current National Tour of Disney Presents The Lion King.

Will Rathbone has worked at the Ambassador Theatre Group for the last year on touring promotions for shows including Rock of Ages, Disney Presents The Lion King and Wicked (National Tours) as well as Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (Savoy Theatre) and Jersey Boys (Piccadilly Theatre). Will has assisted at Sonia Friedman Productions on productions including The Book of Mormon (Prince of Wales Theatre), Old Times, Chimerica, Merrily We Roll Along (Harold Pinter Theatre) and Richard III/Twelfth Night (Belasco Theatre, Broadway).

Production Acknowledgements

Graphic Design | Jina Kiem

Production Photography | Robert Boulton

Special thanks to:

Suko Akulin, Valerie and Barry Ashwood, Becca and Jonny Allen, Elly and David Bittleston, John Bittleston, Dan Brodie, Lucy Casson, Ashley Cook, Alex Ewan, Debbie and Mark Goodman, Dorothy and Colin Graham, Max Grossman, Ruth and Andrew Harris, Helenka Hewitt, Mike Havies, Lisa Lange, Tom Littler, Jane Norman, Jo and Mike Millar Ray Morgan, Charles Pappenheim, Jim Peterson, Lorna Rathbone, Dennis Smith, Chris Smyrnios, Conrad Strabone, Tim Warmath.

VIBRANT NEW WRITING | UNIQUE REDISCOVERIES

‘Audacious and successful… West London’s Finborough Theatre is one of the best in the entire world. Its programme of new writing and obscure rediscoveries remains “jaw-droppingly good”’. Time Out

‘A disproportionately valuable component of the London theatre ecology. Its programme combines new writing and revivals, in selections intelligent and audacious.’ Financial Times ‘The tiny but mighty Finborough…one of the best batting averages of any London company’ Ben Brantley, The New York Times

‘The Finborough Theatre, under the artistic direction of Neil McPherson, has been earning a place on the must-visit list with its eclectic, smartly curated slate of new works and neglected masterpieces’ Vogue

Founded in 1980, the multi-award-winning Finborough Theatre presents plays and music theatre, concentrated exclusively on vibrant new writing and unique rediscoveries from the 19th and 20th centuries. Behind the scenes, we continue to discover and develop a new generation of theatre makers – through our Literary team, and our programmes for both interns and Resident Assistant Directors.

Despite remaining completely unsubsidised, the Finborough Theatre has an unparalleled track record of attracting the finest creative talent who go on to become leading voices in British theatre. Under Artistic Director Neil McPherson, it has discovered some of the UK’s most exciting new playwrights including Laura Wade, James Graham, Mike Bartlett, Sarah Grochala, Jack Thorne, Simon Vinnicombe, Alexandra Wood, Al Smith, Nicholas de Jongh and Anders Lustgarten; and directors including Blanche McIntyre.

Artists working at the theatre in the 1980s included Clive Barker, Rory Bremner, Nica Burns, Kathy Burke, Ken Campbell, Jane Horrocks and Claire Dowie. In the 1990s, the Finborough Theatre first became known for new writing including Naomi Wallace’s first play The War Boys; Rachel Weisz in David Farr’s Neville Southall’s Washbag; four plays by Anthony Neilson including Penetrator and The Censor, both of which transferred to the Royal Court Theatre; and new plays by Richard Bean, Lucinda Coxon, David Eldridge, Tony Marchant and Mark Ravenhill. New writing development included the premieres of modern classics such as Mark Ravenhill’s Shopping and F***ing, Conor McPherson’s This Lime Tree Bower, Naomi Wallace’s Slaughter City and Martin McDonagh’s The Pillowman.

Since 2000, new British plays have included Laura Wade’s London debut Young Emma, commissioned for the Finborough Theatre; two one-woman shows by Miranda Hart; James Graham’s Albert’s Boy with Victor Spinetti; Sarah Grochala’s S27; Peter Nichols’ Lingua Franca, which transferred Off-Broadway; and West End transfers for Joy Wilkinson’s Fair; Nicholas de Jongh’s Plague Over England; and Jack Thorne’s Fanny and Faggot. The late Miriam Karlin made her last stage appearance in Many Roads to Paradise in 2008. UK premieres of foreign plays have included Brad Fraser’s Wolfboy; Lanford Wilson’s Sympathetic Magic; Larry Kramer’s The Destiny of Me; Tennessee Williams’ Something Cloudy, Something Clear; the English premiere of Robert McLellan’s Scots language classic, Jamie the Saxt; and three West End transfers – Frank McGuinness’ Gates of Gold with William Gaunt and John Bennett; Joe DiPietro’s F***ing Men; and Craig Higginson’s Dream of the Dog with Dame Janet Suzman.

Rediscoveries of neglected work – most commissioned by the Finborough Theatre – have included the first London revivals of Rolf Hochhuth’s Soldiers and The Representative; both parts of Keith Dewhurst’s Lark Rise to Candleford; The Women’s War, an evening of original suffragette plays; Etta Jenks with Clarke Peters and Daniela Nardini; Noël Coward’s first play, The Rat Trap; Charles Wood’s Jingo with Susannah Harker; Emlyn Williams’ Accolade; Lennox Robinson’s Drama at Inish with Celia Imrie and Paul O’Grady; John Van Druten’s London Wall which transferred to St James’ Theatre; and J. B. Priestley’s Cornelius which transferred to a sell out Off Broadway run in New York City.

Music Theatre has included the new (premieres from Grant Olding, Charles Miller, Michael John LaChuisa, Adam Guettel, Andrew Lippa, Paul Scott Goodman, and Adam Gwon’s Ordinary Days which transferred to the West End) and the old (the UK premiere of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s State Fair which also transferred to the West End), and the acclaimed ‘Celebrating British Music Theatre’ series, reviving forgotten British musicals.

The Finborough Theatre won The Stage Fringe Theatre of the Year Award in 2011, London Theatre Reviews’ Empty Space Peter Brook Award in 2010 and 2012, the Empty Space Peter Brook Award’s Dan Crawford Pub Theatre Award in 2005 and 2008, the Empty Space Peter Brook Mark Marvin Award in 2004, and swept the board with eight awards at the 2012 OffWestEnd Awards including Best Artistic Director and Best Director for the second year running. Accolade was named Best Fringe Show of 2011 by Time Out. It is the only unsubsidised theatre ever to be awarded the Pearson Playwriting Award (now the Channel 4 Playwrights Scheme) nine times. Three bursary holders (Laura Wade, James Graham and Anders Lustgarten) have also won the Catherine Johnson Award for Pearson Best Play.

www.finboroughtheatre.co.uk

VIBRANT NEW WRITING | UNIQUE REDISCOVERIES

118 Finborough Road, London SW10 9ED
admin@finboroughtheatre.co.uk
www.finboroughtheatre.co.uk

Artistic Director | Neil McPherson

Resident Designer | Deputy Chief Executive | Alex Marker

General Managers | Lily Levinson, Max Milner and Charlie Risius

Channel 4 Playwright-in-Residence | Chris Thompson

Playwrights-in-Residence | Bekah Brunstetter, James Graham, Dawn King, Anders Lustgarten and Shamser Sinha

Playwrights on Attachment | Steven Hevey and Louise Monaghan

Literary Manager | Francis Grin

Senior Reader | Reen Polonsky

Literary Assistant | Miran Hadzic

Literary Associate Music Theatre | Max Pappenheim

Associate Designer | Philip Lindley

Resident Casting Directors | Lucy Casson, Hayley Kaimakliotis

Resident Assistant Directors | Helen Donnelly and Victor Correia

Board of Trustees | Stuart Worden (Chair), Davor Golub, Russell Levinson, Dr Matthew Linfoot and Rebecca Maltby.

And our many interns and volunteers.

The Finborough Theatre has the support of the Channel 4 Playwrights’ Scheme, sponsored by Channel 4 Television and supported by The Peggy Ramsay Foundation

The Finborough Theatre is a member of the Independent Theatre Council, Musical Theatre Network UK and The Earl’s Court Society www.earlscourtsociety.org.uk

Mailing

Email admin@finboroughtheatre.co.uk or give your details to our Box Office staff to join our free email list. If you would like to be sent a free season leaflet every three months, just include your postal address and postcode

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We welcome your comments, complaints and suggestions. Write to Finborough Theatre, 118 Finborough Road, London SW10 9ED or email us at admin@finboroughtheatre.co.uk

Playscripts

Many of the Finborough Theatre’s plays have been published and are on sale from our website.

Finborough Theatre T-Shirts are now on sale from the Box Office, available in Small and Medium £7.00.

Smoking is not permitted in the auditorium and the use of cameras and recording equipment is strictly prohibited.

In accordance with the requirements of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea:

1. The public may leave at the end of the performance by all doors and such doors must at that time be kept open.

2. All gangways, corridors, staircases and external passageways intended for exit shall be left entirely free from obstruction whether permanent or temporary.

3. Persons shall not be permitted to stand or sit in any of the gangways intercepting the seating or to sit in any of the other gangways.

The Finborough Theatre is licensed by the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea to The Steam Industry, a registered charity and a company limited by guarantee. Registered in England and Wales no. 3448268. Registered Charity no. 1071304. Registered Office: 118 Finborough Road, London SW10 9ED.

The Steam Industry is under the overall Artistic Direction of Phil Willmott. www.philwillmott.co.uk

Friends

The Finborough Theatre is a registered charity. We receive no public funding, and rely solely on the support of our audiences. Please do consider supporting us by becoming a member of our Friends of the Finborough Theatre scheme. There are four categories of Friends, each offering a wide range of benefits.

Brandon Thomas Friends – David Alpers. The Beryls. Penelope H. Bridgers. David Day. Mike Frohlich. Bill Hornby. Barbara Marker. Barbara Naughton. Sally Posgate. Michael Rangos. Nick Salaman. Barry Serjent.

Richard Tauber Friends – James Brown. Tom Erhardt. Bill Hornby. Richard Jackson. Mike Lewendon. John Lawson. Harry MacAuslan. Mark and Susan Nichols. Sarah Thomas.

Lionel Monckton Friends – S. Harper. Philip G Hooker. M. Kramer. Maxine and Eric Reynolds.

William Terriss Friends – Stuart Ffoulkes. Leo and Janet Liebster. Peter Lobl. Paul Kennedy. Corinne Rooney. Jon and NoraLee Sedmak.

Nobody makes a play alone, but one person’s name typically goes beneath the title. It is a nice way to summarize the cultural heft behind what we call a play and assign responsibility to the crazed guilty bold enough to write down the voices in their head and say, “Hey! Actors. Read this in front of strangers and see if they’ll pay us!” Names are a great comfort. This is a play by so-and-so. “Ahh, so-and-so. I liked his last play. It could have been shorter, before the intermission, but I liked it. I’ll go see another play by him.” Dream of Perfect Sleep, “by” me, really belongs to a squadron of influences and artists, whom I’ve been inspired to channel. The play comes from a carnival of prompts: in 2011 my mother died, suddenly, too young, at 51 in North Dakota; a middle-aged, African-American actor in Iowa lamented to me the lack of parts for her; a woman in Michigan told me the story of her friend’s parents who made a powerful decision when faced with terminal illness; a playwriting professor, Sherry Kramer, led a workshop at the University of Texas at Austin on the subject of “magical objects” and how they can be used in theatre to contain metaphor. This play is such a container, and while this might smack of sentiment, what it contains is not only mine: it’s theirs, and if you like, it’s also yours. Truly.

Kevin Kautzman | New York, June 2014

DREAM OF PERFECT SLEEP

Kevin Kautzman

DREAM OF PERFECT SLEEP

OBERON BOOKS
LONDON

WWW.OBERONBOOKS.COM

First published in 2014 by Oberon Books Ltd
521 Caledonian Road, London N7 9RH
Tel: +44 (0) 20 7607 3637 / Fax: +44 (0) 20 7607 3629
e-mail: info@oberonbooks.com
www.oberonbooks.com

Copyright © Kevin Kautzman, 2014

Kevin Kautzman is hereby identified as author of this play in accordance with section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. The author has asserted his moral rights.

All rights whatsoever in this play are strictly reserved and application for performance etc. should be made before commencement of rehearsal to the Abrams Artists Agency, 275 Seventh Ave., 26th floor, New York, NY 10001. No performance may be given unless a licence has been obtained, and no alterations may be made in the title or the text of the play without the author’s prior written consent.

You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or binding or by any means (print, electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

PB ISBN: 978-1-78319-165-9
EPUB ISBN: 978-1-78319-664-7

Cover design © wildpixel

Printed, bound and converted
by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY.

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For my parents & their parents & so forth

When you are old and gray and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face among a crowd of stars.

– Yeats

Characters

GENE
M, 70s

MARY
F, 70s

MELISSA
F, 30s

ROBERT
M, 40s

The actors playing Gene, Melissa, and Robert also play the masked HADES (Gene), ANUBIS (Melissa), and NINCUBURA (Robert). MELISSA was adopted and looks conspicuously different from the rest of the family.

SETTING
Gene and Mary’s living room.

ON DRUMMING
Live, ritualistic drumming is encouraged. Ideally, involve a drummer who, as a character, belongs to the Underworld. If this is not possible, split this task among the actors in “Underworld” roles, with the one exception of the dinner scene, at which point someone offstage provides the effect.

A NOTE ON THE SCRIPT
A dash at the end of a line ( – ) suggests a hard interruption. The character who speaks next should sharply interrupt the character delivering the dashed line.

A slash at the end of a line ( / ) suggests a soft interruption. The character who speaks next should begin his or her line early such that both characters speak briefly at the same time.

DEVELOPMENT

The play was conceived at the University of Texas at Austin with support from a Michener Fellowship and guidance from Sherry Kramer. It received its first public reading at the Players Guild Theatre in Canton, Ohio under the direction of Cassey Martin in September of 2012.

It received a second public reading at Arts/West in Athens, Ohio during their 2012 Humble New Play Festival in October of 2012. It received a workshop production at Theatre NOW in Saint Paul, Minnesota in February 2013, directed by Robert Marcus.

In April 2013 the play appeared in the UTNT showcase of new plays at the University of Texas at Austin, curated by Steven Dietz and directed by Courtney Sale, with the following cast:

MARY | Janelle Buchanan
GENE | Marco Perella
MELISSA | Antoinette Robinson
ROBERT | Brad Adams

In August 2013 the play received a public reading at the South Camden Theatre Company in Camden, New Jersey, under the direction of Craig Hutchings.

In October 2013 the play received a public reading at the Tristan Bates Theatre in London, UK as part of the North American Actors Association’s new play festival, directed by Max Pappenheim.

In February 2014 the play received readings at Stage West Theatre in Fort Worth, Texas, and at the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville.

In April 2014 the play received a reading in New York, produced by Page 73 and directed by Christian Parker, featuring David Margulies and Lois Smith.

PREMIERE

First performance at the Finborough Theatre, London – 17 June 2014.

The production featured the following cast:

MARY | Susan Tracy
GENE | Martin Wimbush
ROBERT | Cory English
MELISSA | Lisa Caruccio Came

Director | Max Pappenheim
Designer | Holly Seager
Lighting Designer | Elliot Griggs
Composer | Angus MacRae
Movement Director | Lucy Cullingford
Casting | Emily Jones and Alice Krijgsman
Stage Manager | Niki Buys
Education Relationship |
Development Officer | Emma Cahill
Producer and General Manager | Artyzan Productions

AWARDS

Winner, the Southwest Playwriting Contest – 2013

Winner, the Kernodle New Play Award – 2013

In Gene and Mary’s living room there is an artificial Christmas tree hung with lights and all the decorations of a lifetime. It is upside-down. The lights are unplugged. Beneath the tree are three presents: two small and one larger. There is also a couch, a recliner, a coffee table, an end table with a television remote and a lamp, and a Greek vase on a stand. On this vase Hercules pursues his trials. It is filled with dried flowers.

MARY sits on the couch in a yellow robe. She stares forward. She stands and goes to the vase.

MARY: We need fresh flowers!

GENE: (Off.) What?

MARY: Flowers!

GENE enters in slacks, a white undershirt, red suspenders, and a red “Santa hat.”

We need fresh flowers for the vase!

GENE: Right.

MARY: What’s my favorite flower?

GENE: Uhh. Roses.

MARY: What color?

GENE: What do you think?

MARY: I don’t know. You’re my memory.

GENE: I’m your husband.

MARY: Just tell me!

GENE: Close your eyes and think.

MARY: Oh all right, well… here goes.

MARY closes her eyes and nearly falls into the vase. GENE grabs and steadies her.

Red roses?

GENE: Sit.

MARY: Tell me what color roses I like.

GENE: Yellow.

MARY: I thought red.

GENE: I like red.

MARY: I thought red was my favorite.

GENE: I’ll get red roses.

MARY: But I like the yellow ones!

GENE: After the holidays. Yellow ones.

MARY: Good. Who wants dead flowers in their living room? Where’s the remote? I want to watch my show.

GENE: The end table.

MARY: What?

GENE: The end table.

MARY: Where now?

GENE: Did you take your pill?

MARY: Yes.

GENE: Are you sure?

MARY: No.

GENE: (Standing.) I’ll check.

MARY: Where’s the remote?

GENE: The table at the end of the sofa where it always is. There.

MARY: Oh.

GENE exits and returns with a pill and a glass of water.

I forgot what an end table is.

GENE: Take this.

MARY: Ennnnd. Taaaaabul.

GENE: Pill.

MARY: I don’t like how they make me feel.

GENE: Take the pill.

MARY: Gulp! Happy?

GENE: Thank you.

MARY: I miss you.

GENE: I’m right here.

MARY: I know.

GENE: Smile. It’s Christmas Eve.

MARY smiles toothily. Fake.

A real smile. Please. You used to smile this certain way. It had a light.

MARY: You’re sweet. Get me that lotion?

GENE: Smile and I will.

MARY smiles. Real. The light changes.

MARY: Happy?

GENE: Less sad.

MARY: My hands are dry.

GENE exits. MARY spits the pill into her hand and deposits it in the Greek vase. She settles on the couch. GENE returns with the lotion, which MARY applies.

GENE: Do you like the tree?

MARY: It’s fake.

GENE: Yep.

MARY: I like that tree even if it’s fake. It helps my balance. It tells me which way’s up. You don’t know how much floors look like ceilings until you get… What do I have?

GENE: Vertigo.

MARY: I want to watch my show.

GENE finds the remote on the end table. He hands it to MARY, who turns on the television: a game show. The volume is obscene.

GENE: Robert’s going to be here any minute.

MARY: What?

GENE: Robert’s coming!

MARY: Oh! All right!

GENE: Melissa’s coming too!

MARY: WHAT?

GENE: CAN YOU TURN IT DOWN?!

MARY: WHAT?!

GENE: TURN DOWN THE TELEVISION!

MARY mutes the television.

MARY: Don’t yell!

GENE: If you can’t hear me, turn it down!

MARY turns the volume down and un-mutes the television.

MARY: Better?

GENE: Yes.

MARY: You can tell the tree’s fake because there’s no smell.

GENE: It’s the best I could do, dear.

MARY: I love that Christmas tree smell.

GENE: You want to pay somebody to put a real tree in here? Think about the mess. All that for a smell?

MARY: I bet the Wilsons have a real tree up in their place. They’re over there smelling it right now.

GENE: If you like the Wilsons’ place so much, maybe you should go on over and watch their television. Smell their tree.

MARY: Maybe I will!

GENE: Fine!

MARY: Good!

GENE: I’ve got that spray I can do.

MARY: Oh God. Don’t do the spray.

GENE: They’ve got this new kind. It’s guaranteed or your money back.

MARY: Don’t do the spray!

GENE: I’m going to do the spray.

MARY: Fine! Spray yourself crazy! Get me an ice water? With lime?

GENE: (Standing.) Anything else for her majesty?

MARY: I don’t want the kids to come.

GENE: It’ll be nice. When was the last time we were all together?

MARY: I don’t want them to see me like this! I’ll have an episode. I’m having an episode now.

GENE: You look fine.

MARY: It’s an act.

GENE: What is it now?

MARY: I feel like I’m being watched.

GENE: By who?

MARY: Faces. There!

GENE: Why don’t you just take your pills?

MARY: I don’t want the kids to see me like this.

GENE: It’ll be okay.

MARY: Gene. I’m sad but I don’t know why. Why am I so sad?

GENE: You miss that Christmas tree smell.

(Exiting.)

I’ll get the spray.

MARY: I used to think I like this show because I want to watch people win. But I think I like to watch this show because everybody loses. Gene! Are you listening?

GENE: (Off.) What? Yeah! Hold on! What?

MARY: I LIKE TO WATCH PEOPLE LOSE!

GENE: (Off.) Okay!

MARY: It’s easy to be strong when you’ve won. It’s hard when you’ve lost. I like watching the strength of the loser.

GENE returns with a glass of water with lime and some Christmas tree scent spray. He sets the water and lime on the end table. He sprays.

GENE: What were you saying?

MARY: I like to watch this show because everybody loses. Otherwise why would I watch?

GENE: (Spraying.) To see who wins.

MARY: Oh that stuff’s awful!

GENE: It’s not so bad.

MARY: Gene?

GENE: What?

MARY: Everything feels melty.

GENE: Do I feel melty?

MARY: Yes.

GENE: Everything’s not melting. I’m Gene and you’re Mary.

MARY: No no. I’m a ball of yarn unraveling. Most days I’m not even the woman you married.

GENE: If you knew how much that hurts me, you wouldn’t say it.

MARY: I don’t have any control over this. Soon everything will melt. This couch. The coffee table. The vase. Gene, I am so terribly sad, but I don’t know why.

GENE: You’re sad because I’m dying.

MARY: You are?

GENE: We discussed this.

MARY: Can’t they fix you?

GENE: I’m done with all that.

MARY: Oh. How long do you have?

GENE: We discussed this. We discussed this. We discussed this.

MARY: Give me that spray.

(Spraying.)

Oh. That’s horrible.

GENE: It’s not so bad.

MARY: (At the vase.) Gene, did we travel a lot?

GENE: Yes?

MARY: A lot or just average?

GENE: A lot. You wrote it off. Research. Japan. South America. Egypt.

MARY: Is that where we got that vase?

GENE: That’s a Greek vase.

MARY: Who’s the man on it?

GENE: Hercules.

MARY: What’s he doing?

GENE: His twelve trials.

MARY: Why?

GENE: Because he’s heroic.

MARY: That’s not a reason. That’s a trait.

GENE: To prove his strength.

MARY: Yes, but why?

GENE: I don’t know! You were the scholar.

MARY: And now I watch a silly game show to see who loses. Why are you dying?

GENE: The same reason you forgot what an end table is. We’re old.

MARY: You’re dying of old?

GENE: It’s not fair, is it?

MARY: It’s not a bad deal. So much life we’ve had. Death is only an instant.

GENE: I’m not ready.

MARY: Death will be easy. It simply is. And then you are not.

GENE: Death is the most frightening thing in the world.

MARY: I’m not sure that’s true.

GENE: What’s more frightening than death?

MARY: Forgetting.

GENE: I’m afraid.

MARY: You should be excited. You’re going into the Underworld.

GENE: Mary…

MARY: The Goddess will go with you. Inanna will go with you. The ancients knew. Nobody goes alone. They think they do, but no.

GENE: Those are your stories.

MARY: They belong to everybody.

GENE: Can we just…

Tomorrow’s Christmas.

MARY: I smell that. Oh I love Christmas so much. The festival of light! Rituals are books. You just have to know how to read them. That big cock of a tree in the living room. Right beside the hearth. Symbolism! It’s not even subtle. Oh! Gene! The lights are unplugged. Plug in the lights plug in the lights plug in the lights!

GENE plugs in the lights. They blink.

GENE: You remember we talked about after Christmas? I won’t to be able to look after you much longer. You signed the agreement.

MARY: Oh, yes. I remember. It’s okay. Everything’s going to be fine.

MARY kisses GENE.

Scratchy.

GENE: I need to shave.

MARY: Go shave.

GENE: (Exiting.) I love you.

MARY: I know you do.

(Standing, at the vase.)

Yellow roses. I don’t know. Maybe I like red now.

I see you! A river of faces! Listen to me, thou river to be crossed!

ROBERT enters wearing shorts and a button-up shirt. He has a piece of rolling luggage.

Gaze and behold the fount of all good things! Behold the Queen of Heaven!

ROBERT: Mom?

MARY: You! Are you mortal?

ROBERT: Ugh. Yeah. Very.

MARY: And you dare speak to the Queen of Heaven?

ROBERT: What is this?

MARY: On your knees, worm!

ROBERT: Hey, Mom, look at me/

MARY: Silence! If you must speak, speak after me! My mistress abandons heaven… Say it!

ROBERT: My mistress abandons heaven?

MARY: …abandons earth and descends to…

ROBERT: Mom, hey. It’s Robert.

MARY: Say it!

ROBERT: …abandons earth and descends to…

MARY: Where?

ROBERT: I don’t know.

MARY: Are you my escort? Of course you are! Oh, how I missed you, Nincubura!

ROBERT: Nincu-what? No, Mom. Robert. Your son.

MARY: Have you come to escort your queen?

ROBERT: Dad!

GENE: (Off.) Robert?

ROBERT: Get in here!

GENE: (Off.) Hold your horses!

ROBERT: Mom, it’s me.

MARY: Behold that which has deigned to allow you to be, thou fawn and seedling!

MARY shucks off her robe, to her underwear.

ROBERT: DAD! GET IN HERE!

GENE enters.

MARY: Bow before the mother of the world!

GENE: Mary, please. Stop!

MARY: My mistress abandons heaven, abandons earth, and descends to… Where does she go? Tell me! Slug! Worm! Where does she go?

GENE: The Underworld.

MARY: THE UNDERWORLD!

MARY falls.

The light and color are sucked away. MARY crouches. Voices chant the name “Inanna”. Drumming.

MARY stands and holds her arms at her sides. NINCUBURA appears beside MARY. ANUBIS and HADES look on from across the river.

NINCUBURA: From the great heaven Inanna sets her mind on the great below!

The chanting and drumming cease. NINCUBURA dresses MARY in her robe.

My mistress abandons heaven, abandons earth, and descends to the Underworld! She takes the seven divine powers!

Seven beats of a drum.

With the good divine powers, she travels to the Underworld. With her, she takes her light. And I, her minister Nincubura, travel behind her.

Ahem. This is where the lady speaks.

MARY: I don’t know what to say.

NINCUBURA: You must command.

MARY: Command what?

NINCUBURA: Command your willing servant, and he will obey.

MARY: What for?

NINCUBURA: You are traveling to the Underworld! You are on its doorstep! With your light you must go forth!

MARY: I want to watch my show.

NINCUBURA: My lady, remember yourself.

MARY: Who am I now?

NINCUBURA: You are the Queen of Heaven. The Lady of the Sky!

MARY: Why do I feel like I’m falling?

NINCUBURA: Because we stand before the river of the dead.

MARY: We do?

MARY looks down and again loses her balance. They stand before the river of the dead. NINCUBURA steadies her.

Gah!

NINCUBURA: May I recommend the lady not look down?

Look there instead.

MARY: What’s that?

NINCUBURA: The river of the dead. See how they watch?

MARY: Why do they stare like that?

NINCUBURA: They are looking for your light.

MARY: My light?

NINCUBURA: Yes.

MARY: Why?

NINCUBURA: Oh, well. I thought the lady would know.

MARY: I don’t know.

NINCUBURA: It is a very great mystery why the faces look as they do.

MARY: I don’t like this.

NINCUBURA: What’s not to like?

MARY: It’s a little dark.

NINCUBURA: It’s the Underworld, my lady!

MARY: Okay, this is looneytoons. I’m going home.

NINCUBURA: No no no. You must cross over.

MARY: Why?

NINCUBURA: It is what the Lady does. She takes her light across the river. Into darkness.

MARY: Okay. Umm. How do we get across?

NINCUBURA: I will escort you, the faces will part, and we will walk upon the water. But first you must command me. There are special words.

MARY: What words?

HADES: Perhaps the lady should turn back!

MARY: Who’s that?

NINCUBURA: Hades. He is lord here.

MARY: Where are his eyes?

NINCUBURA: The faces in the river are his eyes.

MARY: I don’t think he likes me.

NINCUBURA: He’s afraid you will take his prize.

HADES: Silence, wretch! I fear nothing!

MARY: What prize?

ANUBIS: Woof! Woof! Woof!

MARY: Is that his dog?

NINCUBURA: That is Anubis.

MARY: It’s a big dog.

ANUBIS: Rrrrrrrr… woof woof woof!

HADES: That’s a good doggy.

MARY: Okay then… I want to go home. Yes… here. This way… back back back…

NINCUBURA: You would abandon your consort to the dark?

MARY: My consort? Are you saying Gene’s down there? Gene!

NINCUBURA: Utter the words, and we will search for him.

MARY: What am I supposed to say?

NINCUBURA: Command me, and I will escort you across to the gate, which you will open with your mysterious powers. You will gaze divine illumination into the darkest corners of the Great Below.

MARY: I want to go home. Which way is home?

HADES: Look! The Queen of Heaven trembles before the gates of the Underworld!

ANUBIS: Most indecorous.

HADES: Most.

ANUBIS: Shall I beat a drum for the lady?

HADES: Shall I play the flute?

ANUBIS & HADES: Ha ha ha ha ha.

MARY: They’re laughing at me.

NINCUBURA: It appears so.

MARY: Now I’m angry. Tell me what I’m supposed to say.

NINCUBURA: They are the Lady’s words.

MARY: Give me a hint!

NINCUBURA: (Whispering.) Come, my faithful minister…

MARY: Come, my faithful minister… Wait! I know this!

Come, my faithful minister… my minister who speaks fair words… my escort who speaks…

NINCUBURA: Trustworthy.

MARY: Trustworthy words!

ANUBIS: Oh ho ho! The lady speaks!

NINCUBURA: Silence!

MARY steps forward, first hesitantly, then firmly. There is drumming. Light cascades from and over her. For a moment her body is the world, and ANUBIS, HADES, and NINCUBURA vanish.

MARY: On this day I descend to the Underworld! When I arrive in the Underworld, make a lament for me on the ruin mounds! Beat the drum for me in the sanctuary!

GENE and ROBERT watch. The room returns to as it was before MARY fell.

Yea, the Queen of Heaven stares into the Great Below and fills it with her… with her…

She stumbles to the floor. GENE and ROBERT rush to help.

Oh. Why is it not… why isn’t the light… No no no. It’s not working. I have to go back. Gene!

GENE: Yes?

MARY: I found you.

GENE: I’m right here.

MARY: I have to go back! We have to go together! I… oh God. Robert, I don’t…

ROBERT: It’s okay, Mom. You’re not well.

MARY: I have visions! I saw a woman with the head of a dog! And another man was there watching, but he didn’t have any eyes!

GENE: Here now. Sit.

MARY: No! We have to…

GENE: We have to what?

MARY: Robert, I… oh… I’m so sorry.

ROBERT: It’s okay, Mom.

MARY: Welcome home. I missed. I miss you.

ROBERT: I miss you too, Mom.

MARY: I wish you didn’t have to see me like this.

ROBERT: Don’t say that. It’s not your fault. You have a… it’s okay.

GENE: Sit.

MARY: No! I need to explain to… to Robert what it’s like, so he…

MARY moves to the vase.

When it happens everything… for a moment I feel so alive. And I see things… wonderful things. And terrible things. I don’t mind the fear until it overwhelms me.

Gene, I am trying so hard to be strong for you.

MARY touches the dried flowers. She almost falls again. GENE steadies her.

GENE: Just look at the tree. That’s up. That’s down. And I’m your memory.

MARY: You’re my husband. Oh I’m so tired.

GENE: Take a nap.

MARY: Yes. I think I will.

GENE escorts her away. She trembles. ROBERT sits on the couch and stares at the blinking lights on the tree.

ROBERT takes the television remote. He looks for the television. He presses the “on” button. Nothing. He points it in a number of directions, pressing “on” again and again with no results. GENE enters.

ROBERT: Is she okay?

GENE: She takes naps during the day. She has trouble sleeping at night.

ROBERT: So do I.

GENE: You got on a plane dressed like that?

ROBERT: Yes? What?

GENE: You don’t wear shorts when you fly.

ROBERT: Says who?

GENE: There’s an unwritten rule.

ROBERT: Whatever. It’s more comfortable. Where’s the TV?

GENE: I threw it out. They run those courtroom dramas all day. She was starting to think she was a judge.

ROBERT: Why’d you keep the remote?

GENE: She uses it.

ROBERT: What for?

GENE: To turn on her show.

ROBERT: What the hell is going on?

GENE: Don’t “what the hell is going on” me. I’m old, but I’m still your father.

ROBERT: What pray tell is going on, dear father?

GENE: I threw out the TV!

ROBERT: Yet Mom somehow watches a show?

GENE: Yes.

ROBERT: Where does she watch it? Oh God.

GENE: What? She likes it! It’s some game show where everyone loses! She’s using her imagination. It’s good for her!

ROBERT: You’re in denial.

GENE: Don’t come into my house and throw words like “denial” around.

ROBERT: Why is there a tree? Why does it smell like the idea of a pine tree in here?

GENE: I’ve got this spray. It’s a new formula! Your sister’s coming, and we’re having a big Christmas dinner delivered: stuffing; cranberry sauce; the works.

ROBERT: Why are we having Christmas when it’s not Christmas?

GENE: It’s Christmas because we say it is.

ROBERT: That’s ridiculous!

GENE: Don’t call us ridiculous!

ROBERT: I didn’t say you’re ridiculous! Random Christmas is ridiculous.

GENE: Don’t insult Random Christmas!

ROBERT: Why didn’t you tell me Mom had got this bad?

GENE goes to the dead flower mess near the vase. He scoops it and sits on the couch with ROBERT. He drops the mess on the coffee table.

GENE: We need fresh roses. Yellow roses.

ROBERT: What’s going on with Mom?

GENE: She’s having a bad day.

ROBERT: She’s demented.

GENE: Don’t call your mother demented!

ROBERT: She has dementia! Which makes her demented!

GENE: It’s a nasty word.

ROBERT: She stripped and called herself the Queen of Heaven!

GENE: It’s a bad spell.

ROBERT: Why didn’t you tell me?

GENE: I would if you’d call. Melissa calls. Melissa visits.

ROBERT: I’m not Melissa.

GENE: No, you’re not.

ROBERT: You could call me.

GENE: You have your own problems. You went through that rough patch…

ROBERT: It wasn’t a “patch.” It was my thirties. I was addicted to pills. I got treatment. I’m clean.

GENE: There are all kinds of drugs in this house.

ROBERT: So?

GENE: So do I need to lock them up?

ROBERT: I’m clean.

GENE: Uhh huh. How are the kids?

ROBERT: Don’t change the subject.

GENE: How come we never see them?

ROBERT: We need to talk about Mom.

GENE: Yeah, we do.

ROBERT: Does she take her meds?

GENE: Yes.

ROBERT: Are you sure?

GENE: What are you getting at?

ROBERT: Do you watch her take them?

GENE: What?

ROBERT: Do you watch her put the pills in her mouth?

GENE: Don’t treat me like a goddamned child, Robert!

ROBERT: What are you going to do? Kick me out?

GENE: Don’t think I won’t!

ROBERT: Yeah, you gonna lock the fucking door too?

GENE: Watch your mouth.

ROBERT: You never kicked Melissa out. Never hit her. Never even yelled at her. I took all this shit from you, and she got a free pass.

GENE: She’s a girl.

ROBERT: Yeah, well. The tide turns, huh? Look at you now. All frail and feeble. And Mom’s gone mental.

GENE: You got a problem, there’s the door.

ROBERT: Oh no, we’re going to have this conversation.

GENE: What conversation?

ROBERT: Well, Dad. Let’s see. Oh, that’s right. You’re not a spring chicken anymore.

GENE: No.

ROBERT: Do you feel able to take care of Mom the way she deserves?

GENE: Yes.

ROBERT: Until when? How long are you going to be able to care for a demented, elderly woman who thinks she’s a goddess!

GENE: Can I say something? In my own house can I say something?

ROBERT: Yes.

GENE: I was going to wait until Melissa got here.

ROBERT: Just say it!

GENE: I’m dying.

ROBERT: What?

GENE: You’re talking to a corpse. Erk. Screech. Bye bye.

ROBERT: Come on. You’ve got time.

GENE: I don’t. I’m dying now. Not next year. Now.

ROBERT: Oh.

A pause.

GENE: Now I have to tell it again. When Melissa gets here.

ROBERT: She should be here by now.

GENE: It wasn’t easy for me to tell you that.

ROBERT: No, I… yeah. I understand.

GENE: Now I have to say it again.

ROBERT: I’m sorry. I can tell her if you want…

GENE: No, it’s not your job.

ROBERT: Dad…

GENE: It’s very difficult.

ROBERT: Yeah. It’s the hardest thing. I can’t imagine.

GENE: You better start.

ROBERT: I just… you look well.

GENE: Frail and feeble.

ROBERT: I didn’t mean that. Really. You look well.

GENE: Yeah, well I feel like hell. You don’t want to hear about it. I’m on pain medication. I take half-doses so I can look after your mother. I love her so much. And she’s not even here anymore. Half the time she’s on another planet. In the Underworld. I don’t even know what.

ROBERT: You need help.

GENE: Robert… my father was tough. I thought you had to be tough. Things were different then.

ROBERT: Dad.

GENE: I was hard on you.

ROBERT: The world has a way of turning us into what we’re not meant to be.

GENE: Your mother always had this light. She could turn it on like a switch.

ROBERT: Yeah.

GENE: I don’t have a light.

ROBERT: Sure you do. Hey.

GENE: No. No light. Just me. Lightless.

ROBERT: Dad, come on/

GENE: I didn’t want it to go like this. I had it all worked out in my head.

ROBERT: It’s okay. Do you want something? To drink?

GENE: Ice water? With lime?

ROBERT: Okay.

ROBERT goes for water with lime and returns. GENE reveals a pill case. He readies an array of pills on the coffee table.

GENE: Thanks.

(Popping the pills.)

What?

ROBERT: I didn’t say anything.

GENE: These are for pain. I’ve got a prescription.

ROBERT: Good for you.

GENE: I’m sorry you had a problem, but that doesn’t mean everybody else does.

ROBERT: I didn’t say anything.

GENE: I’m sorry you had a problem.

ROBERT: You want to talk about it?

GENE: About what?

ROBERT: My problem. Because I learned how to talk about it. I help other people talk about theirs. I’m good at it. So we can talk about it.

GENE: (Popping another pill.) Knock yourself out.

ROBERT: It was the night.

GENE: What was?

ROBERT: The way night comes. You can see it at the edges of everything. It gets you right here. You know?

GENE: Sure.

ROBERT: Do you think in some people night never really settles?

GENE: Yeah.

ROBERT: That’s me: Mister Insomnia. Even now I sit up at night alone thinking about just… everything, and I want to forget.

GENE: Forget what?

ROBERT: I want to be alive and forget that I’m alive. I want to feel pure life. Perfect life.

GENE: Like an animal?

ROBERT: Like a child. That’s what got me started with the pills. Then it got so only the pills would do it. Then I had a problem.

GENE: You didn’t want to forget. You wanted to remember.

ROBERT: Yeah.

GENE: You’re like your mother. Everything’s a memory of a thing that never even happened to begin with. A myth. A dream.

ROBERT: Are you seeing a counselor? Or a priest?

GENE: I don’t need a priest. I’m married to the Queen of Heaven!

ROBERT: You should talk to somebody.

GENE: I have to look after your mother.

ROBERT: Don’t you think she’d be better… you know.

GENE: No. I don’t.

ROBERT: In a home.

GENE: What about me then?

ROBERT: You can go into hospice. It’s dignified.

GENE: Dignified.

ROBERT: Yes.

GENE: Don’t tell me how to live my life!

ROBERT: I’m not.

GENE: I know I wasn’t perfect. But I’m not going to listen to you tell me how to live my life. Do you hear me?

ROBERT: I hear you.

GENE: Okay. Where’s my lime?

ROBERT: I forgot the lime.

GENE: Get me my lime.

ROBERT goes. GENE stands and unplugs the tree’s lights. ROBERT returns with the lime and a bottle of vodka.

ROBERT: You unplugged the tree.

GENE: You’re right. Random Christmas is ridiculous.

ROBERT: Oh come on. It’s a nice tree.

GENE: It’s fake.

ROBERT: You can hardly tell. There’s your lime. I’ll plug the tree back in.

ROBERT plugs in the lights. He pours a couple vodkas and squeezes lime into them.

Vodka?

GENE: I’m on those meds. You shouldn’t mix. Just a touch!

They clink glasses.

You’re a good boy.

ROBERT: I’m forty years old.

GENE: You’re a good, forty-year-old boy.

ROBERT: My ex says the same thing. I never grew up.

GENE: I don’t understand why you didn’t just stick with it. I thought if I taught you anything, it’s stick-with-it-ness.

ROBERT: Stick-with-it-ness?

GENE: You stick with it. I mean with the kids and all.

ROBERT: I see my kids.

GENE: I only mean…

ROBERT: Now you’re telling me how to live my life.

GENE: I’m your father.

ROBERT’s phone buzzes. A message.

ROBERT: Melissa ran an errand.

GENE: An errand?

ROBERT: That’s what she said. She’s on the way now.

GENE: That’s good.

ROBERT: Who’re the presents for?

GENE: The two of you.

ROBERT: I count three.

GENE: There’s one for us.

ROBERT: You got yourselves a Random Christmas present?

GENE: Is that a problem?

ROBERT: Is it socks?

GENE: You’ll have to wait and see.

ROBERT: This is why you brought us here. To tell us this.

GENE: Well… yes. And it’s… I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying.

ROBERT: It’s okay…

GENE: Your mother has come to terms with death, Robert.

ROBERT: Okay.

GENE: When she’s lucid she’s come to terms with it.

ROBERT: That’s good.

GENE: I haven’t. She gets all this strength from her myths. She lives them. You saw. She’s stronger than I am. Death terrifies me.

ROBERT: It’s a terrifying thing.

GENE: I have these doubts.

ROBERT: Everybody does.

GENE: When I think about it, everything becomes… I see the outline of everything. The shape. I see where things become non-things. Un-things. Air. This couch. The table. The vase. Look at the shape of that vase. The way it… holds space… I stare until Hercules laughs at me. “Ha ha ha ha ha, weakling!” he says. “Coward!” And I want to smash it to stop the laughing. But I can’t stand. By then I’m so afraid if I stand, I’ll shatter.

I think this might be what your mother feels when she lapses. So I try and understand what it’s like for her. To feel like I’m falling. I sit here and face a big empty. I try and see what’s in it. I try so hard. I look. And I look. And I try to find some strength in it. Or some light.

But there’s nothing.

ROBERT: Maybe you’re not looking hard enough.

GENE: You think this is easy?

ROBERT: No.

GENE: Can I… Robert?

ROBERT: What?

GENE reaches to touch ROBERT, who flinches and pulls away.

GENE: I don’t know if Melissa will understand.

ROBERT: Understand what?

GENE: Does she still smoke grass?

ROBERT: I don’t know. I never see her.

GENE: Are you on any of that?

ROBERT: I’m clean.

GENE: You drink.

ROBERT: This is a special occasion.

GENE: That it is. Here. Have another.

ROBERT: I’m fine.

GENE: (Pouring.) Drink. Drink! Really.

ROBERT: What?

GENE: Your mother and I had a discussion. She had a good week. Very lucid. After my diagnosis. And we decided it would be best to call it quits.

ROBERT: Wait, what? You’re getting divorced?

GENE: No. Calling it quits.

ROBERT: Calling what quits?

GENE: Everything.

ROBERT: You gotta be kidding me.

GENE: I thought we should all be together one last time. And your mother always loved Christmas so much. So I decided we’d make a Christmas. She won’t even know the difference. You and Melissa just have to play along. That’s it. I know it’s difficult.

ROBERT drinks vodka.

Robert, say something.

ROBERT: I need a second.

GENE: One… one… thousand… two–

ROBERT: You can’t do it.

GENE: We damned well can.

ROBERT: I won’t let you.

GENE: It’s our life!

ROBERT: Mom’s not able to decide something like that!

MELISSA enters with a backpack.

MELISSA: Hey! Look at this. It’s a party! What? Hey, what’s with the tree?

GENE: Melissa! It’s so good to see you!

MELISSA hugs GENE. There is the faint sound of a car pulling up outside and idling.

MELISSA: You too, Dad. Hey.

ROBERT: Hey.

MELISSA: Umm. The tree? Anybody want to explain?

ROBERT: Ho ho ho! Merry Random Christmas!

The doorbell rings.

GENE: It’s the delivery guy.

MELISSA: What’d you order?

ROBERT: We’re having the traditional Random Christmas dinner!

The bell rings again.

MELISSA: (Exiting.) I guess I’ll get it?

ROBERT: Tell her now or I’m leaving.

GENE: You can’t.

ROBERT: I’ll go when I want to go.

GENE: You will not.

ROBERT: I’m a grown man!

MELISSA returns with two large paper bags.

MELISSA: Are you fighting?

GENE: We’re having a discussion.

MELISSA: The delivery guy’s waiting.

ROBERT: What? Oh it’s on me, is that it?

MELISSA: You’re Mister Moneybags, aren’t you?

ROBERT: Do I look like I have money?

MELISSA: Aren’t you a psychologist or whatever?

ROBERT: What? No. Sometimes I counsel people, but it’s voluntary/

GENE: (Flashing a credit card.) Here’s the card.

ROBERT: (Exiting.) Oh no. I’ll get it. It’s not like I have child support and a mortgage. Dad has something to tell you anyway.

MELISSA: What is it?

GENE: How was your flight?

MELISSA: Fine. Why are you wearing that hat?

GENE: You look well.

MELISSA: So do you.

GENE: Have you met somebody yet? We want more grandkids.

MELISSA: Where’s Mom?

GENE: You’d make a great mother.

MELISSA: Where’s Mom?

GENE: Taking a nap.

MELISSA: How is she?

GENE: She’s been better.

MELISSA: We’ve all been better.

The sound of the idling car fades as the delivery guy drives away.

ROBERT: (Entering.) Have you told her yet?

GENE: I’m getting to it!

ROBERT: Buckle up!

ROBERT grabs the bags and exits.

MELISSA: What’s he talking about?

GENE: I relapsed. Or it relapsed. It’s not my fault.

MELISSA: God. I was afraid it was that. I’m so sorry.

GENE: Also, your mother thinks she’s the Sumerian goddess of fertility.

MELISSA: What?

GENE: The medication stopped working. I don’t know.

MELISSA: Why didn’t you tell me?

GENE: We don’t want to be a burden. You have your own lives.

MELISSA: Mom thinks she’s a goddess?

GENE: Yes.

MELISSA: Huh.

ROBERT enters with cranberry sauce. He eats it with a spoon.

ROBERT: Did he get to the good part yet?

MELISSA: Dad’s dying and Mom thinks she’s a goddess.

ROBERT: Three’s a magic number!

MELISSA: What? There’s more? Dad?

ROBERT: Tell her! Come on. Tell her!

GENE: I will if you’d shut up!

ROBERT: Just fucking say it!

GENE: Don’t swear at me goddamnit!

ROBERT: Say it! You told me, now tell her!

GENE: I’m looking for the words!

MELISSA: I’ll leave if you two are going to fight. Seriously.

GENE: Please stay. You just got here.

MELISSA: Promise you won’t fight.

GENE: Him first.

ROBERT: What are we, ten?

MELISSA: Just promise, Robby.

ROBERT: My name is Robert!

MELISSA: Whatever. Promise.

ROBERT: I promise we won’t fight.

MELISSA: Dad? Promise?

GENE: Yes. Fine. I promise.

MELISSA: Good. So what’s possibly more intense than you dying and Mom going off the deep end?

GENE: Your mother and I are calling it quits. Robert! Stop eating all the cranberry sauce!

MELISSA: Repeat what you just said.

GENE: Stop eating all the cranberry sauce…

MELISSA: Before that.

GENE: Your mother and I are calling it quits.

ROBERT: You get it? Call it quits?

MELISSA: Shut up! I’m processing.

ROBERT: Don’t tell me to–

GENE & MELISSA: Shut up!

ROBERT crosses his arms and stands there. MELISSA grabs her backpack and reveals a bag of marijuana and a joint.

GENE: You’re not smoking that in here.

ROBERT: How’d you get weed on a plane?

MELISSA: It’s a mystery.

GENE: Oh come on, Robert. You know it’s easier for women.

MELISSA: What’s that mean?

ROBERT: Yeah. What does that mean?

GENE: It’s easier for women to smuggle things onto airplanes.

MELISSA: What are you saying?

GENE: You can just… you know.

ROBERT: Stop right there.

MELISSA: No, this is fascinating. We can just what?

ROBERT: Is that really how you/

MELISSA: I ran an errand! You think I don’t know where to score weed in my hometown? God. When you called and said we had to have a “family meeting,” I knew it was going to be like this. Glad I came prepared.

GENE: It’s a bad habit.

MELISSA: It’s a sacrament.

ROBERT: Here we go.

MELISSA: You want some?

ROBERT: No, thanks.

MELISSA: Dad?

GENE: Did you hear what I said?

MELISSA: (Lighting up.) I heard you.

GENE: You don’t have permission to smoke in this house.

MELISSA smokes. She hands the joint to GENE.

MELISSA: Come on. I know you used to do it. How long has it been?

GENE: A long time.

MELISSA: Hey, look on the bright side: it ain’t gonna kill you.

GENE: That’s not funny.

GENE takes a puff. He coughs.

Okay, it’s kind of funny.

ROBERT: Oh this is fucking great.

GENE passes the joint to MELISSA, who puffs.

MELISSA: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

GENE: Language.

MELISSA passes the joint. GENE puffs.

MELISSA: It’s good shit.

GENE: Where did you get this shit?

MELISSA: There’s this guy named Cowboy Bob. He wears a cowboy hat. His name’s Bob.

GENE: Why’d I stop smoking this?

MELISSA: Your generation’s a bunch of quitters.

GENE: Quitters.

MELISSA: Come on, Robby. Don’t pout.

ROBERT: I’m not going to let you kill Mom.

GENE: I’m not going to kill your mother.

MELISSA: Wait. Isn’t that the idea?

GENE: We made a pact.

ROBERT: Dad tells you he’s going to kill Mom, and you think that’s a good time to get stoned?

MELISSA: Umm. Yes?

GENE: It’s a good plan. I thought you’d get it, Robby. I thought it’d be harder on her. Shows what I know. It’s a good plan, isn’t it? Melissa?

MELISSA: I’m processing.

ROBERT: Process faster.

MELISSA: Life isn’t about speed, Robby.

GENE: Yeah, Robby.

MELISSA: Life’s about pace, Robby. And rhythm.

GENE: Rhythm.

MELISSA: Life’s about how you organize your rituals.

ROBERT: I’ll call the police.

MELISSA: Whoa what?

ROBERT: He’s out of his mind! Suicidal.

GENE: Robby, honor thy mother and father. Your mother and father made a plan. It was her idea.

ROBERT: I don’t believe you.

GENE: (Exiting.) I have it in writing! I’ll show you. Robby Robby Robby.

MELISSA: Whoa.

ROBERT: What’s your problem?

MELISSA: Did you wear those shorts on the plane?

ROBERT: What? Yes!

MELISSA: There’s an unwritten rule.

ROBERT: We can’t just sit here. We need to do something.

MELISSA: Hey, what’s that smell?

ROBERT: We can’t let Dad kill Mom.

MELISSA: Why is it all Christmassy?

ROBERT: They’re having Christmas before they kill themselves.

MELISSA: That’s so sweet!

ROBERT: It’s insane.

MELISSA: It’s their choice how they want to die!

ROBERT: It’s not their choice.

MELISSA: It’s not?

ROBERT: Mom’s in no condition to make that decision. She needs to be in a home.

MELISSA: Oh a home. This isn’t a home?

ROBERT: You know what I mean.

MELISSA: I always thought of this as a home. We grew up here. That’s home, isn’t it?

ROBERT: Melissa…

MELISSA: Home is where the heart is!

ROBERT: Stop.

MELISSA: He hit a home run!

ROBERT: Shut up, hey.

MELISSA: (Singing.) Home, home on the range! Where the deer and the antelope play/

ROBERT: Would you shut up?!

MELISSA: (Singing.) Where seldom is heard a discouraging word/

ROBERT: MOM’S DEMENTED! SHE’S OUT OF HER FUCKING MIND!

MELISSA: AND THE SKY IS NOT CLOUDY ALL DAY!

ROBERT: Are you done?

MELISSA hums the tune.

They’ll be able to take care of her in a home.

MELISSA: They call those places homes, but they’re not. They’re waiting rooms for the half-dead.

ROBERT: They’re not so bad.

MELISSA: The not so bad ones are not so cheap. Who’s going to pay?

ROBERT: You still working at that juice stand?

MELISSA: It’s a juice bar. And I manage it. And I do healing work too.

ROBERT: Nice. You’ve devoted your life to smoothies and pseudoscience.

MELISSA: Ahh, good old Robby. I missed you too.

ROBERT: They have to have some money.

MELISSA: You think that’s how they want to spend their money? On a nursing home for a goddess? They’ll keep her doped up for who knows how many years. You think she wants that? Dad won’t even be there. He’ll be dead.

ROBERT: It’s better than the alternative.

MELISSA: It sounds like Hell.

GENE: (Entering with a sheet of paper.) Here it is, Robby!

ROBERT: Stop calling me that.

ROBERT takes the paper and reads.

MELISSA: How are you going to do it?

GENE: We’ll go into the garage, lay down a tarp, close the door, start the engine, and go to sleep.

ROBERT: Just like that?

GENE: Just like that.

GENE pops a pill.

ROBERT: When?

GENE: After you go.

MELISSA: Maybe one of us should be here?

GENE: That’s not necessary.

ROBERT: Let’s talk this through.

GENE: We’re not asking permission.

MELISSA: No. You shouldn’t have to.

GENE: This is our chance to say goodbye as a family.

MELISSA: I’m going to miss you and Mom.

GENE: We’ll miss you too.

MELISSA: Are you scared?

GENE: Of course I am.

MELISSA: Can I help?

ROBERT: Mom’s in no condition to decide something like this.

GENE: Look. That’s your mother’s writing!

ROBERT: It’s typed! How do I know she wrote it?

GENE: Look at the language! That’s how your mother writes!

ROBERT: Anybody could have written this!

MELISSA: Let me see.

GENE: That’s her signature. There.

MELISSA: Which? Oh there.

ROBERT: Oh! That shaky little X is Mom’s signature!

GENE: Her hand shakes!

MELISSA: Why are you having such a hard time accepting this?

ROBERT: Why are you accepting it so easily?

GENE: Let’s not fight now.

MELISSA & ROBERT: We’re not fighting!

MELISSA attempts to hand ROBERT the joint.

MELISSA: Smoke this and chill out.

He waves it off.

ROBERT: I won’t let you do it.

GENE: How are you going to stop me?

ROBERT: That’s a suicide note. If I show that to the police, they’ll have to intervene.

MELISSA gnaws and chews on the note and spits some pieces.

What are you doing? Stop! Stop! Goddamnit, Melissa.

GENE: Whoops! Too bad.

ROBERT: You can’t do this.

GENE: Oh? What should we do instead?

ROBERT: You go into hospice and Mom goes into a home.

GENE: I don’t want to go into hospice, and your mother doesn’t want to go into a home. We want to be together when we die. I know it’s hard to understand, but that’s what we want.

ROBERT: So we get high and pretend nothing’s wrong?

GENE: We get high and pretend it’s Christmas. For your mother.

ROBERT: You know how crazy that is, right? Melissa, please. Back me up here.

MELISSA: Oh come on, Robby. It’s not that crazy.

GENE: Thank you, Melissa.

MELISSA: You’re welcome, Dad.

ROBERT: I can’t pretend it’s Christmas.

MELISSA: Sure you can! Look at the pretty lights on the tree.

GENE: Blink. Blink. Blink.

MELISSA: Blink. Blink. Blink.

ROBERT: Great.

A pause.

MELISSA: This room. You changed something, didn’t you?

GENE: No…

MELISSA: Those flowers are dead. You should get some fresh ones.

GENE: I’d like red roses.

MELISSA: Doesn’t Mom like the yellow ones?

GENE: Yes. And I like red.

MELISSA: We’ll get some tomorrow.

GENE: Ahh, but there won’t be a florist open on Christmas Day!

MELISSA: Right. Gotcha.

ROBERT: This is such bullshit.

MELISSA: Just play along. If you believe it’s Christmas, it’s Christmas. Like anything else.

ROBERT: That’s not the way the world works.

MELISSA: It’s not?

GENE: (Exiting.) I’ll wake your mother. She wants to eat in here by the tree. You two set up. And Robert, for the love of God: put on some pants.

MELISSA: Yeah, Robert. Put on some pants.

ROBERT: You haven’t changed.

MELISSA: Neither have you. Your aura is pallid.

ROBERT: Hippy crap.

MELISSA: You need to open up your heart.

ROBERT: Mom and Dad are going to kill themselves! And we’re supposed to just sit here?

MELISSA: You don’t get to decide. It’s not your life.

ROBERT: Yes, it is!

MELISSA: Umm, yeah. Except it’s not.

ROBERT: When they die, a part of me dies too!

MELISSA: Oh, Robby. That’s beautiful.

ROBERT: We have to stop them. We need to move the car or… take Mom away. Just get her away from him.

MELISSA: You’re going to kidnap Mom?

ROBERT: To save her life? Yes.

MELISSA: Robert, there’s a reason most cultures revere the old: they have one foot in the infinite. That scares people, because most people are frightened little children.

ROBERT: So?

MELISSA: So don’t be a frightened little child.

ROBERT: That is so much crap.

MELISSA: Whatever. What’d the note say?

ROBERT: You mean the note you ate?

MELISSA: You forced me. Who threatens to call the cops on their parents?

ROBERT: I’m upset.

MELISSA: Clearly.

ROBERT: You’re not upset?

MELISSA: Of course I’m upset!

ROBERT: You don’t look upset.

MELISSA: This is how I cope.

ROBERT: By getting high?

MELISSA: It’s medicinal.

ROBERT: Bullshit.

MELISSA: It relaxes me.

ROBERT: You’re going to have to face it sometime. Sober.

MELISSA: I’m facing it now. Just cuz you lost your happy little family because of your problem doesn’t mean everybody who enjoys a little pot is an addict. Get off my case. They’re my parents too.

ROBERT: Did I say they weren’t?

MELISSA: “Adoption.” From the Latin. Ad optare. To choose. Wish. Desire. Somebody with a womb didn’t want me. They wanted me. It’s pretty goddamned special when you think about it.

ROBERT: Yeah, it is. Which is why we have to do something.

MELISSA: No, we don’t. I know you’ve got this thing. We all do. When you’re faced with an incredible mystery, you feel like you need to act. Or else you’re not a man or something. I don’t know. But what if the opposite is true? What if you don’t need to do anything but face the mystery? Let it wash over you. Look it in the eye.

ROBERT: If we don’t do something, I’m going to lose it.

MELISSA: Lie down.

ROBERT: What?

MELISSA: Lie down and close your eyes.

ROBERT: Okay?

MELISSA: Take a deep breath.

ROBERT: What are you doing?

MELISSA: Treatment.

ROBERT: Like a hippy healing thing?

MELISSA: Like a hippy healing thing.

ROBERT: I don’t believe in this crap.

MELISSA: What do you believe in?

ROBERT: Reality.

MELISSA: Close your eyes.

ROBERT: You haven’t seen Mom. She’s out of her mind.

MELISSA: Be quiet.

ROBERT: She thinks I’m here to escort her to the Underworld.

MELISSA: Maybe you are.

Take a deep breath. Good.

Do you feel all that life in you? Do you feel the Earth Mother sucking you down? She wants you back. You are wanted.

ROBERT: Yeah. Mother Earth wants me dead.

MELISSA: But she wants you alive too, to feel her want you back. She wants you to feel her desire for you. Everything you feel is a gift from nature. That’s something.

ROBERT: The universe is a senseless malevolence.

MELISSA: No, it’s not. We’re proof of that.

ROBERT: What?

MELISSA: The universe is not senseless, because we exist.

ROBERT: Who, you and me?

MELISSA: Humanity.

ROBERT: What a bunch of horseshit.

MELISSA: Quiet. Now. Keep your eyes closed. Breathe. Feel her pull you down. Just let her. Don’t fight. You’re not going to win. So you might as well make peace with her. Another deep breath and… All right. Sit up. Slowly. Easy now. Take another deep breath. Good. Okay. How do you feel?

ROBERT: Like I’ve been lying on the floor thinking about gravity. What was I supposed to feel?

MELISSA: Like you were lying on the floor thinking about gravity.

ROBERT: What kind of treatment is that?

MELISSA: I call it “lie on the floor and think about gravity.”

ROBERT: You’re messing with me.

MELISSA: Do you feel more relaxed?

ROBERT: A bit. Yeah.

MELISSA: What else do you feel?

ROBERT: Sad.

MELISSA: Robert, you have permission to feel sad.

ROBERT: I’m very sad.

MELISSA: So what’d the note say?

ROBERT: They don’t want people to be…

MELISSA: What? Sad?

ROBERT: Yeah.

MELISSA: Ding ding ding.

ROBERT: They have wills in the safe. The code’s Dad’s birthday. Everything’s arranged. They’re being cremated. They’re having their ashes buried in that vase. With Hercules. How perfect is that?

MELISSA: Should one of us be here when they do it?

ROBERT: You think you could handle that?

MELISSA: I don’t know. I might freak out. When do you think they’ll do it?

ROBERT: After we go.

MELISSA: Did the note say when?

ROBERT: No.

MELISSA: God.

ROBERT: What if Mom’s condition could improve? Some new drug? She could have three, five good years! A decade even!

MELISSA: Without Dad.

ROBERT: A decade not dead in the ground.

MELISSA: Even though it’s not what she wants.

ROBERT: We don’t know that.

MELISSA: Have you asked her?

ROBERT: She’s not in her right mind!

MELISSA: I know it’s hard to let go. But you need to start.

We never talk, do we?

ROBERT: No, we don’t.

MELISSA: How are your spawn?

ROBERT: I don’t know.

MELISSA: How can you not know?

ROBERT: Their mother… it’s like talking across a chasm. And she’s gotten to the kids. I’m in the room with them and half the time they’re not really there. Or I’m not. I don’t even know. It’s hard.

MELISSA: You should call them. It is Random Christmas after all.

ROBERT: It’s Random Christmas Eve.

MELISSA: They probably miss you.

ROBERT: Yeah.

MELISSA: I miss you.

ROBERT: Really?

MELISSA: Ocassionally.

ROBERT: You can call me.

MELISSA: You can call me.

ROBERT: Yeah, okay. You ever think about having kids?

MELISSA: Yes. No. I don’t know. Shut up.

ROBERT: You’d be good at it.

MELISSA: Thanks.

ROBERT: Do you wonder about your birth parents?

MELISSA: It was a closed adoption.

ROBERT: I know. But you must/

MELISSA: (At the vase.) Mom and Dad traveled a lot, didn’t they?

ROBERT: Yeah.

MELISSA: Where’d they get this vase again?

ROBERT: It’s a Greek vase.

MELISSA: Right. Greece.

ROBERT: Hercules. Big strong dude.

MELISSA: You never forgave Dad for me, did you? You wanted him to yourself. You feel cheated.

ROBERT: You’re dreaming.

MELISSA: How could a father love an adopted daughter more than his own son?

ROBERT: Would you stop?

MELISSA: Well everybody has their favorite. That’s just how it goes.

ROBERT: Yeah.

MELISSA: And I do love you, Robert. Whether you forgive me for existing or not.

ROBERT: I don’t blame you for existing.

MELISSA: These flowers are dead.

ROBERT: Just leave it.

MELISSA: They’re dead and Hercules is a big strong dude and Mom and Dad are going to kill themselves and we never talk, so–

ROBERT: Hey, come on. It’s okay.

MELISSA: Don’t hate me.

ROBERT: I don’t hate you.

MELISSA: Well don’t not love me either.

ROBERT: I don’t not… I love you. You’re my sister.

MELISSA: We never talk.

ROBERT: We can change that. When’s your flight?

MELISSA: Tomorrow.

ROBERT: Mine too.

MELISSA: Did he buy your ticket?

ROBERT: Yeah. You?

MELISSA: Yeah.

ROBERT: We need to stop them. MELISSA: We need fresh flowers.

A moment.

We should set the table.

In a shift, They set the coffee table for Random Christmas dinner. MELISSA lights a candle. ROBERT exits. GENE and MARY return and sit with MELISSA.

ROBERT returns wearing pants. He sits and presses buttons on his phone. MELISSA drinks a juice smoothie. GENE blows out the candle.

MARY: Oh, Gene. Why’d you blow out the candle?

GENE: It’s gonna get wax on the table.

MARY: Who cares? Light it again! Melissa!

MELISSA lights the candle.

GENE: There’s gonna be wax.

MARY: What a lovely dinner.

MELISSA: Yum.

MARY: Robert! What are you doing?

ROBERT: Ordering roses.

GENE: You can’t order flowers on Christmas Eve.

ROBERT: Umm, yeah you can. See? They’ll be here tomorrow.

MARY: We live in an age of wonders.

GENE: Robert, eat your food.

ROBERT: I’m not hungry.

MELISSA: Want some juice?

MARY: Oh, Robert. Don’t be a grumpy puss.

ROBERT: I’m not a grumpy puss.

MELISSA: You’re totally a grumpy puss!

ROBERT: Shut up.

GENE: Don’t tell your sister to shut up.

MELISSA: Yeah!

GENE: Apologize, grumpy puss.

ROBERT: No.

MELISSA: He’s grouchy tonight.

MARY: Grouchy!

MELISSA: Come on, Robert. It’s Christmas Eve.

ROBERT: No it’s… ow!

MELISSA: (Kicking him.) Pass. The. Cranberry. Sauce.

ROBERT: Ow. Hey. Ow.

MARY: What do we say?

MELISSA: (Kicking.) Please.

ROBERT: Ow! The sauce is gone. Stop kicking me!

MARY: Melissa, stop kicking your brother!

ROBERT: This is insane.

GENE: Don’t spoil Christmas Eve.

ROBERT: I wouldn’t dream of it.

The faint sound of drumming.

MARY: Oh no. Oh no oh no.

GENE: What?

MARY: Go away! I’m enjoying Christmas Eve with my family!

GENE: Yes. Yes you are.

MARY: GO AWAY!

The drumming persists, louder.

MELISSA: Who’s gonna get the coffee? Robert?

ROBERT: Fine. Whatever.

MARY: There’s decaf in the freezer.

GENE: Did you hear your mother?

ROBERT: (Exiting.) There’s decaf in the freezer!

He blows out the candle.

I’m not deaf.

MARY: Come on now. Let’s try and have a nice Christmas. Presents next?

GENE: After coffee.

MARY: I’m so excited.

MELISSA: It’s socks, isn’t it?

MARY: You’ll just have to wait and see. Oh. Damn this drumming!

MELISSA: Mom?

MARY: Yes?

MELISSA: Merry Christmas.

MARY: Give me a hug.

MELISSA hugs MARY.

MELISSA: I love you.

MARY: I know you do, dear. I love you too.

ROBERT returns with a plane ticket.

GENE: Where’s the coffee? What do you have there?

ROBERT: A plane ticket.

MARY: I wish you two didn’t have to go so soon.

GENE: They have lives of their own.

MARY: Yes, I know, but I still wish they could stay.

ROBERT tears the ticket to pieces. He chews on a piece.

ROBERT: I’m not leaving, and I’m not playing this stupid game.

MELISSA: Oh boy.

GENE: Robert.

ROBERT sits on the couch.

MARY: It’s Christmas. No fighting!

ROBERT: It is not Christmas!

GENE: Robert!

MARY: It looks like Christmas to me.

ROBERT: IT ISN’T CHRISTMAS!

MARY: WOULD YOU STOP THAT DAMNED DRUMMING?

The drumming ceases.

GENE: Come on, Mary. I’ll take you to bed.

MARY: No! I want to open presents.

MELISSA: Everybody relax.

GENE: Mary, come on now. Here we go.

MARY: Why is everybody so upset? The drumming stopped.

GENE: Robert’s having a tough time. It’s Christmas and he misses his family.

ROBERT: You’re my family.

GENE: You miss your own family. Your own children. From your failed marriage.

MARY: I want to open presents.

GENE: We’ll open them tomorrow.

MARY: We open presents on Christmas Eve, and we save one big one for Christmas Day. That’s how we do it!

GENE: We’re doing it a different way this year. You’re tired. Say goodnight.

MARY: Goodnight.

MELISSA: Night, Mom.

MARY: Goodnight, Robert.

GENE: Robert, say goodnight to your mother!

ROBERT: Goodnight.

MARY: Sweetie, try not to be such a grumpy puss.

They exit.

MELISSA: You tear up a plane ticket like that’s supposed to mean something?

ROBERT: It means I’m not leaving.

MELISSA: Can’t you just print another ticket?

ROBERT: That’s not the point. It’s a symbolic gesture.

MELISSA: Oh! A symbolic gesture! Like pretending it’s Christmas so you can say goodbye to your family and make it special?

ROBERT: What’s your problem?

MELISSA: I’m just trying to get through this and you aren’t making it any easier!

ROBERT: You’re just going to leave?

MELISSA: Well, yeah.

ROBERT: I’m staying.

MELISSA: It’s not our decision.

ROBERT: Okay, fine. It’s not our decision. But if she’s not in her right mind, why is it his?

MELISSA: Because they’re married! Because they’re in love! Because it just is, Robert! Have you even asked Mom about it?

ROBERT: No.

MELISSA: Well ask her before you try and stop them.

ROBERT: We don’t even know what medication she’s on! We should talk to her doctors. There could be something… maybe in a home, with a nurse, she might/

GENE: (Entering.) I ask you one thing! Just play along to make things nice for your mother! But you can’t even do that!

MELISSA: I can’t take much more of this.

GENE: Robert, you’re going to be on that plane tomorrow.

ROBERT: No, I’m not.

GENE: Yes, you goddamned will.

MELISSA: That’s it!

GENE: Melissa, what?

MELISSA: I won’t do this. I love you, but you’re both assholes.

ROBERT: Come on. Sit down.

MELISSA: Nope. No sitting. Standing. This is not how I want to remember my parents.

GENE: Melissa, please.

MELISSA: (Exiting.) No! I refuse to be in the room when you fight.

GENE: Look what you did.

ROBERT: You’re blaming me?

GENE: Who else?

ROBERT: Try yourself for once! Do you know how insane this is? This Random Christmas thing? What are you trying to do to me?

GENE: We’re trying to die well, Robert.

ROBERT: What a great job you’re doing!

GENE: We didn’t have to invite you here! We could have just done it! But we wanted to say goodbye. I thought you’d understand.

ROBERT: You drop a bomb like this and expect us to just leave? What about the funeral?

GENE: It’s all taken care of. You should be thankful!

ROBERT: Thankful?

GENE: We’ll be off your hands. No mess. Everything’s in order. Some people hang on for years and their kids end up… We’re doing you a favor. Have you thought of that?

ROBERT: Mom can go into a home. She might improve. We don’t know how the mind works. There’s new medicine all the time.

GENE: Everything’s arranged.

ROBERT reveals a set of car keys.

ROBERT: Where’s the second set of keys?

GENE: Give me those.

ROBERT: Where’s the second set?

GENE: Robert!

ROBERT: Tell me where they are.

GENE: No.

ROBERT: I’ll tear this place apart.

GENE: Talk to your mother! It was her idea.

ROBERT: And what if she says it isn’t?

GENE: Then we won’t do it! But she’s just going to tell you it was her idea.

ROBERT: You’ll do it even if I’m here?

GENE: Even if you’re here.

ROBERT: Wait. Do you want me to be here?

GENE: I just want one more Christmas with your mother.

ROBERT: What about me?

GENE: What about you?

ROBERT: How can you say that?

GENE: Don’t be so selfish. You’re not the one dying. Why are you having such a hard time?

ROBERT: Because this can’t be it! I thought there would be a day when you and I would really… I don’t know. Something. Together. Something. We’d be more alive or… stronger together. But there’s always been this thing between us. What is it? Is it me?

GENE: It’s not you.

ROBERT: So it’s you then? What?

GENE: It’s just the way it is.

ROBERT: Aren’t you…

GENE: What? Afraid?

ROBERT: Yeah.

GENE: I’m terrified, and the only thing I have to hold onto is your mother and her light.

ROBERT: You don’t have to go through with this.

GENE: Robert, I don’t want to be in pain anymore. And it’s only going to get worse.

ROBERT: That doesn’t mean you need to take Mom with you.

GENE: Is that what you think this is? You think I’m taking your mother away from you?

ROBERT: That’s what it looks like.

GENE: She’s half gone already.

ROBERT: Don’t say that.

GENE: She says it herself.

ROBERT: I need to talk with her.

GENE: Yeah, you do. It was her idea.

ROBERT: I don’t believe you.

MELISSA: (Entering.) She’s on the bed babbling. “Hades sees everything. The big dog goes woof woof. A river of faces.” I don’t know what to do. I’m just so scared for you.

GENE: Don’t be.

MELISSA: Oh, Dad. I love you.

GENE: I love you too, honey. Give me a hug. Don’t worry about us. And don’t be sad.

MELISSA: But it’s so sad.

GENE: Well be sad then. But not for too long, okay?

MELISSA: It’s just… when I think about the odds of us even meeting in this world.

GENE: It’s a mystery.

MELISSA: Yeah.

GENE: I have to help your mother. I love you.

MELISSA: I know you do.

GENE: And your mother loves you too.

MELISSA: I know.

GENE: I remember when we first brought you home. We were sitting right there. You put your hand right up to my face and grabbed my nose.

MELISSA puts her hand on GENE’s face. She grabs his nose.

MELISSA: You better go help mom.

GENE: (Exiting.) Don’t be sad.

MELISSA: You’re making this more difficult than it needs to be.

ROBERT: This is going to be difficult.

MELISSA: Yeah.

ROBERT: Did you ask her?

MELISSA: Robert, she’s really far gone.

ROBERT: I need to know if this is really what she wants.

MELISSA: Of course you do.

ROBERT: Don’t judge me because I’m not willing to roll over and let my demented mother suicide herself when there might be an alternative, okay?

MELISSA: SHE’S MY MOTHER TOO.

ROBERT: I never said she wasn’t. Not once have I ever said that.

MELISSA: I know.

ROBERT: You’re my sister.

MELISSA: I know.

ROBERT: I’m trying to do what’s right.

MELISSA: Look… I don’t not love you, Robert.

ROBERT: I know you don’t. Not. Love me.

MELISSA: But you’re still kind of an asshole. You should work on that. Lie down. Think about gravity. And your family. And the future. And what you want from life.

ROBERT: Is that all?

MELISSA: Yeah, nothing major. I’m exhausted. I’m going to lie down.

ROBERT: If she says she doesn’t want it, I’ll take her to a hotel.

MELISSA: I’m pretty sure she wants it.

ROBERT: Oh, hey. Your present.

MELISSA: You know it’s just socks.

ROBERT: Probably.

MELISSA: Should we?

They open their presents: red socks.

Oh oh oh… yep. Told you.

ROBERT: They’re nice.

MELISSA: I hate seeing Mom like that. It scares me.

ROBERT: Yeah.

MELISSA: Are you just gonna sit here?

ROBERT: Yeah.

MELISSA: Until what?

ROBERT: Until Mom wakes up.

MELISSA: I’m so tired.

ROBERT: Go to sleep.

MELISSA: I’ll see you in the morning maybe?

ROBERT: Sure. Maybe. Yeah.

MELISSA: I don’t know if I can be here when they…

ROBERT: One of us should stay.

MELISSA: I can’t.

ROBERT: It’s okay. I’ll call you.

MELISSA: Sure you will.

ROBERT: I really will.

MELISSA: Call your kids first.

ROBERT: Things are going to be different now. Between us. I promise.

MELISSA: I don’t believe you.

ROBERT: You should stay.

MELISSA: (Exiting.) Be glad I’m leaving. You get to pretend you’re the strong one. Which makes you the strong one.

ROBERT: That’s not the way the world works.

MELISSA: Night, Robert.

MELISSA exits. ROBERT puts on the socks. He closes his eyes.

MARY enters.

MARY: Robert…

ROBERT: Hey, Mom.

MARY: Oh, Robby, I love you.

ROBERT: I know you do.

MARY smiles. The light changes.

MARY: Won’t you smile? Please.

ROBERT smiles. The light changes in a new way.

Oh. That’s nice.

ROBERT: Thanks, Mom.

MARY: What are you doing up so late?

ROBERT: I’m up late every night. I try to sleep but I can’t. I sit and dream of perfect sleep. I imagine what it might feel like. I think it must be like an unborn child’s sleep. And I think it must be what death is like: an impossibly warm, vast sleeping river all the way toward this horizon. And there…

MARY: What?

ROBERT: I don’t know. What do you think it’s like?

MARY: I don’t think about it.

ROBERT: How can you not?

MARY: I don’t have to.

ROBERT: What were you seeing earlier?

MARY: Visions.

ROBERT: It’s your mind playing tricks.

MARY: They’re real to me.

ROBERT: What do you see?

MARY: Death.

ROBERT: What’s that look like?

MARY: A river of faces. Every face that’s ever been. It’s overwhelming. And comforting.

ROBERT: How is that comforting?

MARY: Can you begin to fathom the number of people who have gone before us? Each one of them a life. Dreams. A story. Can you comprehend the weight of that?

ROBERT: No.

MARY: I find strength in it. The magnitude of it. The…

ROBERT: Gravity?

MARY: Yes. The gravity of it. All those faces have gone where we too must go. So you go alone, and you don’t. It’s terrible and perfect and they’re dead and silent and staring and…

I know how hard it is to see your mother like this. Death is embarrassing.

ROBERT: It’s not. Nothing could change the way I… you’re my mother.

MARY: I see the faces now. There. Do you see?

ROBERT: No.

MARY: I thought maybe you would.

ROBERT: Why?

MARY: You’re my special boy. The only child of my body. It’s special.

ROBERT: I’ll look harder. I’ll try to see them.

MARY: No. You’re right. My mind plays tricks.

ROBERT: Maybe you can help me see them.

MARY: Maybe. It’s frightening at first.

ROBERT: I’m not afraid. I want to see.

MARY: Look. There’s one. And there’s another. There’s a whole row of them. And another. Don’t you see?

ROBERT: No. What are they doing?

MARY: Staring.

ROBERT: Why?

MARY: I don’t know.

ROBERT: Maybe they’ll show themselves to me if you tell them.

MARY: You faces! Show yourselves to my son! Anything?

ROBERT: No.

MARY: Maybe they’re not ready.

ROBERT: Maybe it’s me.

There is drumming. ANUBIS and HADES enter.

MARY: Inanna Inanna Inanna Inanna Inanna Inanna Inanna/

ROBERT: Mom. Hey. Mom? What are you… ?

MARY: Nobody knows why Inanna descends into the Underworld. It’s a mystery. Which is as it should be, don’t you think?

ROBERT: I don’t know.

MARY: I think it’s as it should be. We all have to go. We just don’t know why.

Silence. I demand silence!

The drumming stops.

ROBERT: I didn’t say anything.

MARY: What a nice tree.

ROBERT: It’s fake.

MARY: That’s not the tree’s fault.

ROBERT: I’m not going to let Dad do this to you. There’s new drugs all the time. You could go into a home.

MARY: I know it’s hard to understand.

ROBERT: Aren’t you afraid?

MARY: What’s to fear? It’s the mystery. It’s the source of everything I studied my whole life. Flat on the page. Carved into stone. It obsessed the ancients. Why shouldn’t it obsess us too?

ROBERT: Tell me what I’m supposed to do.

MARY: Just be here with me.

ROBERT: Okay.

MARY: Say something to me. Something real.

ROBERT: I don’t know how to be a father.

MARY: Yes, you do.

The drumming returns, more insistent now.

ANUBIS: The gate opens!

HADES: Come, my lady!

ANUBIS: The way is prepared!

MARY: (Standing.) I have to go.

ROBERT: Stop! Please.

MARY: Silence!

ROBERT: Tell me what I’m supposed to do.

MARY: Robert, the world is made of want and unwant, life and death. The ancients knew that life conquers death. Or else what is anything worth? Your father and I came to terms with our wanting. We wanted another child. And you wanted a sibling. Do you remember?

ROBERT: No.

MARY: You did. You were so excited. A sister out of the blue! It seemed like a new kind of miracle. Which of course it is. And your father. It’s true your father never looked at you the way a father should: with a light. He’d look at Melissa that way but never you. I don’t know why… I think it was something… his father… I don’t…

What? What were we talking about?

ROBERT: Dad.

MARY: He loves you very much. He just doesn’t know how to show it. His father was very hard on him. Times were different.

ROBERT: Tell me what to do.

MARY: I’ll tell you what my mother told me: look to your family, and there you will see–

HADES: Come! Or are you afraid?

MARY: I am not afraid!

ROBERT: All right…

MARY: I am talking with my son!

ROBERT: Yes, you are.

MARY: Bow before the Queen of Heaven! I who casts down stars! All life is my issuance. Bow! For my wrath is terrible and my tongue a scourge. Thou dog! Thou mask! Get thee down!

ANUBIS bows. After a moment, HADES too bows.

What was I saying?

ROBERT: Look to your family. And there you will see?

MARY: And there you will see…

ROBERT: What?

MARY: I don’t remember. I am not well, Robert.

ROBERT: I know.

MARY: You have to let us go.

ROBERT: I don’t know how.

MARY: Just try to see the faces.

ROBERT: I don’t see anything.

MARY: Shh. Come. Kiss the Queen of Heaven. Bow before that which gave you life.

ANUBIS & HADES: Adorned with jewels of stars/

MARY: Adorned with jewels of stars!

ANUBIS & HADES: Her eyes shine like lapis lazuli/

MARY: Her eyes shine like lapis lazuli!

ANUBIS & HADES: Her voice is mighty, and her wrath terrible/

MARY: Her voice is mighty, and her wrath terrible!

ANUBIS & HADES: That which you adore shall be your undoing/

MARY: That which you adore shall be your undoing!

ANUBIS & HADES: But in adoring her, your weakness shall become your strength/

MARY: But in adoring her, your weakness shall become your strength!

ANUBIS & HADES: And death give up its mystery/

MARY: And death give up its mystery.

ANUBIS: Come, my lady.

HADES: The drums beat!

ROBERT: Tell me now if you want me to stop this.

MARY: It was my idea, Robert.

Listen to the drums.

ROBERT: There are no drums!

MARY: Look at all the faces!

She exits. ANUBIS follows.

ROBERT goes to the end table and finds GENE’s pills. He reads the label.

HADES becomes GENE. He watches his son stare at the bottle of pills.

GENE: You’re still awake. You’re just like your mother.

You opened your present! Do you like them?

Fine. Just ignore me.

ROBERT: I can’t even begin to say what I need to say.

GENE: She told you.

ROBERT: Yeah.

GENE: Did you say goodbye?

ROBERT: (Setting the pills aside.) Yeah.

GENE: I know you blame me for your problems, Robert. Every son blames his father. That’s what fathers are for.

ROBERT: I always got Mom. Mom was in love with the past. The Greeks. The Sumerians. Her books. All those dead people. But I never got you. What were you in love with?

GENE: Your mother.

ROBERT: Was that enough?

GENE: How can you ask me that?

ROBERT: You didn’t bring me here to say goodbye. You brought me here to be strong for you. To tell you it’s going to be okay. But it’s not. It’s death. And it’s horrible and frightening and unfair. There aren’t enough goodbyes in the world. And I’m not ready. And neither are you. What do you want? Do you want me to do it? Here. I’ll use a pillow. Is that how you want it?

GENE: Robert, stop.

ROBERT: Do you want me to comfort you? To forgive you before you go? Is that it? You sit and stare at death, Hercules laughs at you ha ha ha, and life just slips away. And now you want everything wrapped up nice and neat. A fake Christmas. But you can’t put a bow on this. It’s too much. You’re my father! You were supposed to show me how to live.

GENE: I don’t know what you want from me.

ROBERT: Admit you’re afraid.

GENE: I’ve told you I’m afraid!

ROBERT: And that’s why you brought me here! You need me.

GENE: Yes. I need you, Robert.

ROBERT: To be strong.

GENE: Yes.

ROBERT: I love you so goddamned much. Why didn’t you love me?

GENE: You’re a good boy.

ROBERT: I’m not.

GENE: Yes, you are.

ROBERT: If I was good, I’d be happy. And I’m not.

GENE: Your happiness means the world to your mother and me. Please find a way to be happy after we’re gone. Please, Robert. Life is so short.

ROBERT: Yeah, well. It’s too late for this. You can’t just flick a switch and fix everything. It doesn’t work that way.

GENE: You’re a good boy, and I love you very much.

ROBERT: No, you don’t. You never did.

GENE: You’re a good boy, and I love you very much.

ROBERT: Stop.

GENE: You’re a good boy, and I love you very much.

ROBERT: I’m so tired…

GENE: Robert, if you’re tired, go to sleep.

ROBERT: I can’t.

GENE: Yes, you can. Here’s a pillow. There’s a blanket. When you were little you loved to sleep on the couch. Your mother and I would watch you. Put your head down and sleep.

ROBERT lies down. GENE places a blanket over him, sits on the edge of the couch and, for a moment, holds his son. ROBERT closes his eyes.

GENE stands. He sets his red Santa hat on the end table, unplugs the lights on the Christmas tree, takes the remaining present, and exits.

ROBERT finally sleeps.

The doorbell rings. ROBERT stirs. It rings again. ROBERT awakens. He exits and returns with red roses.

ROBERT: Mom? Dad? Melissa? Hey! God, I slept for ages. What time is it?

The flowers came. Hey!

A car engine starts in the garage. ROBERT halts and considers the situation. He plugs in the lights on the tree. He goes to the vase, takes it, and places it upon the coffee table beside the Santa hat. He removes the dead flowers and drops them to the floor.

He returns to the couch and peers into the vase. He shakes it. He turns on the lamp on the end table. He empties the vase upon the coffee table.

Pills flood over it.

The sound of the engine persists.

ROBERT uses his phone. A phone rings. MELISSA enters with it. She wears red socks and carries yellow roses.

MELISSA: Hey.

ROBERT: Hey.

MELISSA: You actually called me.

ROBERT: I told you I would. Where were you?

MELISSA: Walking around the block.

ROBERT: You missed your flight?

MELISSA: I didn’t even go to the airport. What are all these?

ROBERT: Her pills.

MELISSA: She wasn’t taking them?

ROBERT: No.

MELISSA: They’re in there right now, aren’t they?

ROBERT: Yeah.

MELISSA: How long has the engine been running?

ROBERT: It just started.

MELISSA: Oh God. I mean maybe if she took her pills, she’d be… oh… oh my God, Robert.

ROBERT: Sit down.

MELISSA: Shouldn’t we do something? I mean, maybe you were right.

ROBERT: No.

MELISSA: Robert…

ROBERT: Just let them sleep.

MELISSA: I’m… I don’t… I think I’m gonna freak….

ROBERT: You brought flowers.

MELISSA: Yeah.

ROBERT: Mine came too. Here.

He places a red flower into the vase and helps MELISSA place a yellow one.

MELISSA: I’m shaking. My knees are… it’s like everything’s going to…

ROBERT: It’s okay. Just sit.

MELISSA: We need to put some water in that vase.

ROBERT: Melissa, sit.

MELISSA: (Sitting.) What are we going to do?

ROBERT: Look at all the faces.

MELISSA: What faces?

ROBERT: There.

MELISSA: I don’t see them.

ROBERT: Look harder.

MELISSA: No. Nothing.

Hey, where’s my… here it is.

She attempts to light a joint. Her hands shake. ROBERT takes her hands and lowers them to her lap.

I’m not gonna freak out. I swear. I’m okay.

ROBERT: Yeah, you are.

MELISSA sets the joint and lighter on the coffee table. She takes the Santa hat from the end table and puts it on ROBERT’s head.

MELISSA: It’s gonna be okay.

ROBERT: Yeah, it is. Hey. Really try and see the faces. There. Look.

MELISSA: Oh, yeah. Wow. I see them now. Look at all of them. Huh. What are they staring at?

ROBERT: Us.

MELISSA: Why?

ROBERT: I don’t know.

MELISSA: Should we be scared?

ROBERT: I don’t think so.

The engine hums in the garage. There is the faint sound of drumming.

MELISSA: How long are we going to sit here?

ROBERT: Until they let us go.

MELISSA places her head on ROBERT’s shoulder. He puts an arm around her as the light grows.

They look at the faces, together.

The End.

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