don’t you dare marry me

ADRIAN J. SMITH

EREKA PRESS

Copyright © 2025 by Adrian J. Smith

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Cover Design by Perrin of the Author Buddy

one

Nicola trembled.

Her entire body shook in the small way that no one would be able to see when she was moving around. She hadn’t managed to make it stop, but she had managed to keep it hidden so far with a plastered-on smile that felt like her face was going to break.

Warren was off talking to his mom, which left Nicola standing in the middle of a family that she had never felt comfortable with. She didn’t measure up. She didn’t meet their expectations. She wasn’t worthy of standing here with them. And yet somehow Warren had chosen to marry her—at least he had for a while.

He’d finally figured out that she wasn’t good enough for him. The ring buried deep inside her purse was a weight that she hadn’t ever considered before. It was stunning, but now she was required to give it back to him—the family heirloom. Which was the sole reason she was here. She should have stashed it in her sister’s rehabilitation room instead of bringing it with her because she had an idea that Warren was going to fight her tooth and nail on that check he’d promised her.

She was an outcast in this group, and she knew that. But she hadn’t wanted to do this one-on-one. She wanted at least some protections from whatever shade Warren was going to throw in her direction. She’d been there a full five minutes so far, and no one had even noticed her yet. It seemed they were waiting for something, but Nicola had no clue what. Not that the family ever let her in on what was happening. She wasn’t one of them.

Straightening her back and fixing her smile, Nicola walked toward Warren and sidled on up next to him. “Hey,” she said.

He grimaced when he looked at her. That was definitely a grimace! She had proof of it this time. “Aunt Abagail is late.”

Oh. That’s what they’re waiting on. Now that Nicola knew that, she could prepare herself. Aunt Abagail was a force to be reckoned with. Nicola had only met her a handful of times before, but Warren had told her that, when planning the wedding, everything would have to be approved by Abagail since she’d be paying for it.

Not that any of that would be happening now, and she’d already been brushed aside, so it wasn’t like she was going to be able to ask him about the check when he was so distracted by the fact that his aunt wasn’t there yet.

Nicola resisted the urge to cross her arms, and she skimmed her hands down the short cocktail dress that Warren had bought her a few months ago. She’d have to sell it soon enough anyway so that she could have enough cash to live off. The material felt so soft against her skin, but once again, she felt as though she was an imposter.

Well, she was.

She didn’t belong here, and that had always been clear throughout her entire relationship with Warren. He liked her, and what she did for him, but she wasn’t one of them. And now, due to the breakup that he’d handed her a few days ago, she would never be a part of them.

“I’m tired of waiting,” Warren muttered to his mother.

Estelle flicked her gaze to Nicola and frowned at her. “I can’t control what Aunt Abagail does. I’ve never been able to.”

“If Dad were here…” Warren trailed off.

Nicola had heard that threat from him many times before. It was hard to lose a parent. That was what had bonded them together at first, but Warren had never seemed to move on from the fact that his dad had left them at the mercy of his aunt. Nicola, however, had no one but her sister and her aunt, and they wouldn’t break that bond no matter what. They were their own little family.

“He’s not here,” Estelle hissed. “And don’t piss Abagail off. That’s the last thing we want.”

Well, that was a warning if Nicola had ever heard one. She’d clearly missed something going on. Was Abagail going to show up and give them all a dressing down? Maybe she’d tell Warren he was a dumb idiot for dumping her. Nicola had to hold back her snort at that one. Abagail had never liked her. There was no way she’d be there to do that.

“What are you even doing here?” Warren turned on her, all that pent-up anxiety and rage that he’d had because of Abagail’s late arrival now solely focused on her. When they were dating, Nicola had just rolled over and taken it. She’d let him move through the emotions instead of correcting him, but she didn’t have to do that now.

“You told me to come here,” Nicola stated firmly, not bothering to take a step back even though she really wanted to. “To get that check.”

Warren’s lip pulled upward into a sneer. “Like I’d give you any more money.”

“Warren…” Nicola’s jaw dropped. As much as she had expected this to happen, she hoped desperately that the man she’d fallen in love with was still in there somewhere. Wasn’t he?

“Where’s the ring, Nicola?”

Nicola locked her mouth shut. She wasn’t going to give him the ring back if she didn’t get the cash. Not tonight anyway. She’d quit everything for him. She’d moved out of her apartment for him. She’d put everything in her life in his hands. And she was paying the price for that. The least he could do was give her the cash he’d promised her so she could continue to pay her sister’s medical bills.

“Where’s the check, Warren?” If he was going to give her this attitude, then she’d dole it right back. There was no reason she had to play nice anymore. Her heart stung at the prospect of who they were together now, but she couldn’t let that affect her. She needed the money to pay the credit collectors.

“Nuh-uh-uh.” He turned on her fully now, towering over her. Anger crossed his features. “You don’t get anything else from me. I want the ring back.”

“Rings are considered a gift. It’d be my choice whether or not to give it back to you. We had this conversation already. If you want it back, you’re going to have to buy it from me.” Nicola gripped the strap of her purse tighter and squared her shoulders. She wasn’t going to back down. “Fifty thousand dollars, Warren. That’s what we agreed on. And that’s chump change for you.”

Warren snorted. “You little b⁠—”

“Aunt Abagail!” Estelle’s voice rose above Warren’s curse. He immediately straightened and his entire face changed. He went from antagonistic and nearly demonic to genteel and serene. He held out his arms to Abagail, as if expecting a hug, but she just stared at him.

“Bitch?” Abagail said, the word filled with disgust. “Is that what you were going to call her?”

“I-I-I…” Warren stuttered.

“That’s no way to talk to your fiancée.” Abagail’s lips pressed together before pursing out. It was the only sign that she was truly disturbed by what she’d just witnessed.

Nicola’s heart raced. Abagail had never been on her side before, and this was no different. Abagail was scolding Warren, but it wasn’t for Nicola’s benefit.

“She’s not my fiancée, Aunt Abagail.” Warren tilted his head down thoroughly scolded.

“She’s not?” Abagail’s gaze landed on Nicola, and a rush raced through her, like it did every time she ended up in Abagail’s direct gaze. But just like before, this rush came with a pang of fear in it. “Then why is she here?”

There.

That’s why Nicola was afraid. Abagail held the reins on absolutely everything in this family, and it was a death grip. She’d seen it in action more times than she cared to admit. Perhaps that was Warren’s problem. He didn’t have the money. Abagail did. Which meant that he couldn’t actually give her the cash that he’d promised.

“She’s supposed to give me Nana’s ring back.” Warren pointed at her like she was a witch on trial and he was going to burn her at the stake.

Nicola bit the inside of her cheek and took a steadying breath. There was only one way to work around this. “I am supposed to give it back. We had an agreement, and once Warren holds up his end of the bargain, he’ll have the ring back in his skinny little fingers.”

Abagail’s lips twitched. Was that the beginnings of a smile on her lips? Nicola had to hold herself in check.

“When that happens, I’ll gladly give the ring back.”

Abagail hummed, her gaze drawn away from Nicola to something—or someone—behind her. The hairs on the back of Nicola’s neck went up immediately and she held her breath. The perfume that reached her nostrils was so familiar, and her stomach clenched at the thought. Sure enough, as soon as she turned, she found none other than Chaya. She swayed her hips, a smirk on her lips, as she walked right by Nicola and planted herself on Warren’s arm.

“Sorry I’m late, love.”

Love? If Nicola didn’t watch herself, her eyes were going to bug out in shock and surprise.

“Don’t worry about it.” Warren dropped a kiss into Chaya’s hair.

Right, so he had already moved on. Or perhaps he’d moved on well before he’d actually gotten the nerve to dump Nicola. How long had they been fucking behind her back? Warren put his arm around Chaya’s waist and tugged her in sharply. He’d done that with Nicola more times than she cared to count. She’d loved it when they were together. Now she just saw it for what it was—possessive assholery.

“What are you doing here, Nicola?” Chaya whined out her name, making shivers run up her spine.

“You know? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Nicola gripped her purse strap tightly. “It really doesn’t matter in the long run, does it?” She looked from Warren to Chaya to Abagail to Estelle. They all hated her. They’d hated her from the very start. She began to turn away but stopped short. “Warren, I expect that check you promised me.”

Without another word, she walked out of the house. The air outside was cool, exactly what she needed to fill her lungs with. The weight in her purse was heavy from the ring, and she didn’t even know what to do with it now. She’d give Warren a few more times to give her a check for it, but then what? She’d hate to sell it since it was a family heirloom.

Running her fingers through her hair, Nicola shuffled her feet against the cement as she made her way out toward the street. The houses here were few and far between, and there weren’t neighbors immediately nearby. Nicola wiped the tears that streaked down her cheeks as she set her shoulders. She could do this. She could pick her life back up and make it exactly what she wanted it to be.

Right?

Wasn’t that the American dream?

Except she’d had the rug pulled out from under her more times than she could believe. This was just another one of those times. And she’d find her way to stand back up on her own two feet. All she needed was time. And unfortunately, time wasn’t something she had.

Turning down the street, Nicola walked to her old run-down car that barely worked anymore. She’d parked far away from the house, not only because of the cars that were already lining the driveway and the street, but because Warren had never wanted proof of her poverty to be on display for the neighbors to see. Tossing her purse into the passenger seat, Nicola’s heart thundered.

The rain was heavy now, and her dress and hair were getting wetter by the second. But what the hell did it matter? She needed to find a job that paid better, and she needed to get cash fast. How hard could that be? Really. She had work experience, even if she didn’t have an education to bolster it. Sliding into the driver’s seat, Nicola rifled through her purse to find her keys. Her hands trembled as she slid the key into the ignition and turned it.

The car stuttered.

She closed her eyes and pressed her head to the steering wheel. This was the last thing she needed. She could not get stuck at her ex-fiancé’s house like this. She wouldn’t be able to bear it. And it wasn’t like she had anyone to call. She’d given up her life when she’d decided to marry Warren, and she hadn’t even realized it. She’d given up her friends, her family—everyone who mattered. Not that she had that many friends to begin with.

The only people she had left were her baby sister and her Aunt Simone.

Nicola sat back up and tried to relax her shoulders. She could do this. She could get what she needed from Warren to get her life back on track and then never look back at him again. And she wouldn’t put up with the damn embarrassment any longer. She was tired of his shenanigans. She bit her lip as she turned the key in the ignition, listening to the engine splutter as it turned over and tried to start.

Pressing her foot to the gas pedal, Nicola plied it and prayed that it would be just enough to catch. She pushed and clenched her jaw as she waited. Finally, it caught. The engine roared to life and she breathed a sigh of relief. She wouldn’t have to wait for a tow truck to come and rescue her—something else that she couldn’t afford.

Checking her purse with a single glance, Nicola pulled away from the curb. She hoped this was the last time that she would see that house. She wanted it to be the last time she saw Warren, but she knew that wasn’t going to be possible.

The car horn blasted her ears.

Nicola slammed on her brakes and came to a halt. She turned to look up and found a black SUV right next to her. Her heart hammered, and cold washed through her. She bit her lip, not sure what to do or what to say. She hadn’t even looked, had she?

They stayed in silence, and she waited for someone else to take her down a few notches. But instead of that, the car slowly pulled away from hers and started down the road. Nicola groaned and pressed her forehead to the steering wheel again.

“What the hell am I doing?”

She took another minute before she made sure to check her blind spot this time and finally drove away from the house. She really needed to get her shit together. ASAP.

two

Warren snorted. “You little b⁠—”

“Aunt Abagail!” Estelle was always good at protecting that kid, wasn’t she? It grated on Abagail’s nerves. It drove her nuts. If her brother were still alive…who the hell was she kidding? The same shit would be happening day in and day out.

“Bitch?” Abagail said, making sure that Warren’s insult was completed. She wasn’t going to let him get away with calling anyone that, let alone a woman, and not to mention, the woman he was engaged to. She still remembered when he came to ask her for that damn family engagement ring and how awkward it had been. She wouldn’t be surprised if that relationship didn’t last.

Well, maybe it would. It’d depend on how desperate for money Nicola was.

And from what she saw—Nicola was desperate.

“Is that what you were going to call her?” Abagail asked, pushing her agenda that she wasn’t going to let Warren get away with being a dickhead.

“I-I-I…” Warren stuttered.

“That’s no way to talk to your fiancée.” She crossed her arms and gave him a hard stare. If Estelle wasn’t going to parent the boy, then she would. Then again, as an adult, she wasn’t sure how much hope he had left. He’d grown up drenched in entitlement and sympathy, and he knew without a doubt that he could get away with every single damn thing that he wanted to. All he had to do was bat the long lashes of his baby blue eyes in the direction of anyone who was pissed at him.

Well, that shit had never worked on her and it wouldn’t today.

Abagail waited, the tension in the room thickening. But she was used to being in tense situations like this one. She was used to being the outsider looking in and trying to figure out what drama was happening under the surface.

“She’s not my fiancée, Aunt Abagail.”

Well, that was brand new information. Abagail flicked her gaze over to Nicola, who was looking down at her shoes. If she wasn’t engaged to Warren anymore, then why was she here? What was she still looking for from him?

Money, probably.

“She’s not?” Abagail continued to look at Nicola, eyeing her over. The way the fabric of her clothes cut across her body, the redness in her cheeks that definitely wasn’t from blush. She was embarrassed by this whole situation, wasn’t she? Just what had Abagail stumbled into? “Then why is she here?”

“She’s supposed to give me Nana’s ring back.” Warren’s upper lip pulled into a sneer.

Abagail knew she shouldn’t have ever given him the ring to begin with. But who else was supposed to have it? She hadn’t planned on getting married, and Warren was the only grandchild and the only one currently in any kind of formal relationship. Well, not now, she supposed. It grated on Abagail’s nerves. She really shouldn’t have handed it over to him so cavalierly.

Nicola straightened her shoulders, that diminished look sliding from her face as if she was literally picking herself up off the floor and preparing for the next round of a fist fight. “I am supposed to give it back. We had an agreement, and once Warren holds up his end of the bargain, he’ll have the ring back in his skinny little fingers.”

Why was that so amusing to her? Abagail could see the look of horror on Warren’s face even though she wasn’t actually looking at him. He was always such an entitled snob, and she could see him grasping for what he thought was his even if it wasn’t.

“When that happens, I’ll gladly give the ring back.” The slight sneer in Nicola’s voice may have just made Abagail’s day.

She was about to respond when a young woman walked into the house, someone she recognized, although she had to think back and tickle her memory for an answer as to exactly who she was. Abagail pressed her lips together hard, searching her memory for the answer. The woman walked closer to them, brushing her hair behind her ear and Abagail caught sight of the small scar just above her left eyebrow.

Chaya.

Abagail should have known, but it’d been at least ten or fifteen years since she’d seen her. She shouldn’t be surprised that Warren would ditch Nicola for the old fling who had never gone away. She’d been surprised he’d shown any interest in Nicola to begin with, considering they were from wildly different sides of the track.

“Sorry I’m late, love.”

Oh yeah, they were back together. Abagail cringed. She’d never liked Chaya, though it wasn’t entirely her fault. It was her parents’ fault. She was just as entitled and snobbish as Warren. Abagail bit the inside of her cheek to keep her mouth shut. The last thing she needed at this moment was to add fuel to the fire.

Abagail’s eyes were locked on Nicola, on the shame, the pain, the obvious hurt that crossed her features that she never managed to cover up. Nicola’s face was always an open book. Abagail loved seeing her because of that. She hadn’t been hardened by the entitlement of Warren or beaten down into someone she wasn’t. And she was a breath of fresh air.

She always had been.

“What are you doing here, Nicola?” Chaya sneered, and it sent shivers up Abagail’s spine. Who gave her the right to talk to Nicola like that? Who gave her the right to think that she had any standing in this family?

Oh right, the family relationship that had been established for years.

Abagail held back her sigh and was about to face Warren and Chaya when Nicola’s voice drew her back.

“You know? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Nicola tightened her grasp on her purse strap and she squared her shoulders. Some sort of mask came over the hurt, though Abagail could still see it underneath. She had no doubt that Nicola was trying to hide everything. “It really doesn’t matter in the long run, does it? Warren, I expect that check you promised me.”

And then she was gone.

Abagail watched her leave, the way her rounded ass swayed from side to side in the thin cotton dress that she wore, the stiffness in her shoulders that Abagail had never witnessed before. She honestly hated seeing it there. Nicola wasn’t built for that kind of stress and hurt. She was built for smiles and joy. She’d always been the light in the center of the room when it came to this family. And it seemed as if that light had been permanently put out.

“What check?” Abagail said under her breath, not facing Warren. Not yet. She wanted to watch as Nicola walked completely out of the house and disappeared. Abagail realized belatedly that she wasn’t even listening for Warren’s answer because she was too caught up with Nicola leaving. Forcing herself to turn on Warren, Chaya, and Estelle, Abagail raised an eyebrow at them and waited for the answer.

“She uh… she just wants his money,” Chaya said, stuttering slightly in the beginning.

Had she said that already?

Abagail didn’t care. She focused on Warren. “How much money?”

“She demanded fifty thousand when I broke things off with her. Ridiculous. She won’t give me Nana’s ring back until I pay her.”

While fifty thousand dollars wouldn’t break their bank, money also didn’t grow on trees. Abagail let that information sit in the top of her chest as she mulled through all the possibilities. And what the hell could Nicola need that kind of money for? She was a young, capable woman. She could very easily get a job and work to earn a living.

“And you agreed.” Abagail didn’t ask it like a question, because it wasn’t. Nicola’s understanding was that Warren would give her money in exchange for the ring. She probably wouldn’t have shown up that night if that hadn’t been the case. “What right did you have to do that?”

“What?” Warren squeaked.

“You aren’t in charge of the accounts, Warren. You have no power except over the funds you receive from your trust, and I doubt you have that kind of cash lying around because you’re too stupid to actually do anything worthwhile with the money instead of just spending it.” Abagail narrowed her gaze at him. “And you’re stupid enough to let a woman like that go in exchange for someone exactly like you.” She gestured toward Chaya, who at least had the decency to look offended.

“Aunt Abagail!” Warren started, but she held up her hand to silence him.

“I’m appalled by your behavior tonight.” She flicked her gaze to Estelle, who at least looked down at her toes and shuffled her feet like she’d been the one who was scolded. Well, good. Because she’d been as shit a parent as Abagail’s brother had been when he was alive. They both cared far more about themselves than anyone else.

And it seemed Warren hadn’t fallen that far from the tree.

“You treated the woman you claimed to love for years like dirt.” Abagail wrinkled her nose in a sneer. “And all for what? To prove that you’re in love with Chaya?” She scoffed. “Grow up, Warren.”

“We’re engaged, Aunt Abagail,” Warren started, holding onto Chaya’s arm like it was his shield against her. “And I’d really like to be able to give her the ring that she deserves.”

Abagail’s stomach churned at that thought. Chaya deserved it? God, she couldn’t believe he’d even said that, nonetheless believed it. Abagail looked around the room. This was their engagement party, wasn’t it? She remembered something vaguely about the formal invite saying engagement, but she’d assumed Warren and Nicola…

Had he just taken those party plans and literally changed the women out like they were nothing to him? Fuck, they were nothing to him, weren’t they?

Abagail breathed in deeply, making eye contact with several of the other distant family members that were blood related, the others who were business partners or long-standing friends to the family. She recognized each of them. That’s exactly what this was. Shaking her head, she folded her hands together.

“If you’re getting married, then you better step up and start acting like you’re grown up enough to make these adult decisions.” Abagail bit the inside of her cheek. Why did she so often feel like more of the parent to him than Estelle was? She hated it. He was the reason she hadn’t ever wanted children. Well, plus the fact that if she’d had children, they would have been under the same pressures that Warren had been growing up.

And her kids would have turned out the same way.

Spoiled.

Entitled.

Non-contributing to society.

And Abagail had known for decades that this was exactly who Warren had been raised to be. He’d never been allowed to be any different, and unfortunately, she had played her role in that as well.

Abagail nodded to herself and looked between Chaya and Warren. Finally she focused on Estelle and bowed her head slightly. “You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t stay for the party. I have some urgent work business.”

“Aunt Abagail, we’d really like it if you stayed,” Chaya said, her voice carrying to where Abagail stood only a few feet away.

Just the tone of her voice set Abagail off. She really didn’t want to be here listening to this or even witnessing this party. Were Chaya and Warren a better match? Probably. Neither one of them had ever really matured and they’d both had the world handed to them on a silver platter. Perhaps even a golden one. If anything had been clear about Nicola, she’d had to work her butt off to get where she was. But Abagail knew nothing about her other than that. She’d always kept her past close to her heart and never revealed too much about who she was.

Abagail looked to Estelle. “Thanks for the invitation.”

She started to walk away, but Warren followed her. “Aunt Abagail!”

She cringed as she reached the foyer to the front of the house. She stopped her forward motion and turned around to face him. “What is it?”

“Aren’t you happy for me?”

There was the little boy that she’d loved, the one who was always seeking her approval in everything he did and more. Why? Because he didn’t get it anywhere else. Abagail frowned, debating on the right tactic to take with this. Was she happy for him? No. She didn’t understand what he was doing or why he was doing it, and it wasn’t like he’d even told her that he had suddenly switched fiancées.

“Are you happy with Chaya?”

Warren nodded, his lips quirking slightly before the attempted smile faltered. “Yeah, I am.”

“Then I have no reason to be unhappy.” Abagail put her hand on the doorknob. “We’ll talk some other time, Warren.”

“Aunt Abagail…” Warren trailed off. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She had to talk to him again. It wasn’t only her responsibility, but now she was going to need to figure out how to get the damn engagement ring back and untangle the mess he’d made by promising Nicola fifty grand. She really didn’t want to step into that mess, but there wasn’t a way around it now, was there? “I’ll talk to you soon.”

By soon, she meant when she wanted to talk to him. Because she wasn’t about to have this conversation tomorrow, or even next week. She needed time to think and plot and rage in her own world before she stepped back into this one.

“Congratulations, Warren.” It burned her tongue to say those words, to even think that she could potentially be happy for him and Chaya and the way he was treating Nicola and the fact that he thought he had the right to do that. “Next time don’t be such a dick to someone you proclaimed to love only last week. All right?”

Warren’s jaw dropped.

Abagail smirked and walked out of the house. There. That had been exactly what she’d wanted to say, and she’d finally managed to get her point across.

Rule one in her life: Don’t be a dick.

three

“I need that ring back. Now.”

Nicola shuddered at the command in Warren’s tone—even through the phone, it still affected her. What had she ever seen in him? Had he ever been nice and sweet to her? She sighed inwardly. He had, at one point. But that had all gone out the window when she hadn’t met the standards he expected in their relationship.

She was almost surprised it had taken him so long to figure it out.

“I told you that I’ll give it back when you have a check for me.”

Warren snorted, and then had the audacity to guffaw. “You know I don’t control my trust fund. Everything has to go through Aunt Abagail.”

Nicola knew that. But she still thought it was weird as hell that Abagail was literally in charge of the family finances when she wasn’t really part of the family. Well, she was, but she wasn’t part of the immediate family. Gnawing on her lip, Nicola held her ground. She really needed that money. Her sister’s medical bills were piling up faster than she could keep up with. Or even think about keeping up with. Alanna had gone into that rehabilitation facility six months ago and her quality of life had improved a vast amount. But Nicola also knew that affording it was impossible. She’d told Alanna she’d make it work, somehow. And this was now the somehow.

“You promised me fifty thousand dollars, and I need that money, Warren. You know I do.” Maybe if she pleaded with his good side, then she’d be able to convince him that this was the right decision to make.

Then again, this wasn’t the Warren she’d fallen in love with.

“I don’t have it. I do need that ring back.”

“You have nothing to bargain with, and a gift is a gift. If I were to take this to court, they’d side with me.” Nicola bit a little too hard on the inside of her lip and the iron tang of blood reached the tip of her tongue. “I’m going to keep it.”

“Nicola, that’s a family ring!”

Guilt ate away at her stomach. She really did need the money, but he wasn’t wrong. And she had told him that she would return it because it was a family heirloom. She couldn’t imagine not having the things that were left of her parents, including her mother’s simple wedding band that she always wore on her right ring finger. She stared at it now and smiled.

What would they think of where she was now?

Disappointed? Probably.

Unethical? Maybe.

Did it matter though? The entire point was to keep Alanna in that rehabilitation facility for as long as humanly possible. She needed to be able to learn how to live on her own again, didn’t she? The doctors had said that would never happen, but Nicola had hope. They said she would always be confined to a chair and a bed. Nicola sighed, not wanting to remember those moments.

They’d been so painful, and she’d had to make so many decisions.

She didn’t want to regret any of them, and if she thought about them too long, then she very well might. Swallowing, Nicola ran her fingers through her hair. “Fine, but I’m not going to meet up with you after what you did the last time. I don’t trust you.”

“Fine.” Warren paused, and Nicola waited. “Give it to Aunt Abagail.”

“What?” Nicola’s eyebrows rose into her hairline. That woman absolutely hated her. Although at least she wasn’t a total jerk about it. She could hold her tongue, unlike Warren. “I can’t⁠—”

“She’s got some meetings at her bar tonight. Head on over there and give it to her. Maybe you can ask her to release the fifty grand while you’re there.” He chuckled, the sound sending a shiver down Nicola’s spine. He didn’t care about her. Had he ever? He was just being mean now.

“Fine.” Nicola pressed her lips together hard. Maybe while she was there, she could apply for a job. Because, fuck, she really needed money. Without waiting for a reply from him, she hung up and put her car into drive. She needed to see Alanna. She needed to set the rehabilitation center straight on her account—in other words, she needed to beg them for yet another extension. And then she needed the sister time to calm her soul.

It took Nicola thirty minutes to get to her sister’s facility in Framingham. She parked her car, sent up a little prayer that it would start again, and then stepped out into the chilly spring air. It was so cold still, wet and damp and chill. It didn’t help that she didn’t have the gas to run her car at night and keep it warm while she slept.

Scratching her hand against the back of her head, Nicola walked inside. She stepped around one of the nurses as they smiled at her, and made her way straight to her sister’s shared room. She hated that she couldn’t afford a private room, but at least she was here, right?

“Alanna!” Nicola grinned as soon as she stepped through the door.

“Nic!” Alanna held out her hands, her fingers still curled in since she didn’t have the control any longer to straighten them out. She was sitting up in the bed, her legs bent. She grinned broadly and waited for Nicola to step into the circle of her arms.

Nicola breathed in her scent deeply and closed her eyes, tightening her grip. She didn’t want to let go. Everything that had happened in the last few years had taught her that these moments were precious and fleeting. But with the world so hard out there, with Warren’s breakup, with the weight of bills hanging over her head, Nicola just needed this. Simple love and warmth from the one person she hadn’t lost in that accident.

“What’s wrong?” Alanna asked, whispering the word into Nicola’s hair since she still hadn’t pulled back.

She started to, but Alanna pulled her back in tight, the sides of her thumbs digging into the bones in Nicola’s back, but she didn’t complain. She wanted this more than anything. Alanna here with her. It was the only consolation from that accident.

Alanna had survived.

Nicola smiled again and then finally pulled away. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“You’re not fooling me.” Alanna gave a half-lopsided smirk, which was the only smile that she could give since her paralysis diagnosis. It had taken Nicola a long time to get used to the fact that this was who her sister was now, but she still was so grateful that Alanna was alive.

“Warren called just before I got here.”

“Oh.” Alanna frowned. “What did he want?”

“He wants the ring back.” Nicola sighed and dipped her hand into her purse. She pulled out the small velvety box and handed it to Alanna after opening it. “It’s a family heirloom.”

“Then you should give it back.”

“I know.” Nicola watched as her sister used her curled fingers to maneuver the box so she could look at the ring.

“It’s huge!”

Nicola laughed. Her sister said that every time she looked at the ring. When Warren had first proposed and Nicola had raced over here to show it off and tell Alanna all about it, she couldn’t stop saying that. “It really is. Way too big for me!”

“You deserve someone who loves you big. Not an asshole who doesn’t want you.”

Nicola hated that Alanna was right. Because she’d thought that was what she had found with Warren. Not only someone who loved her for her, but someone who could actually support her so that she could focus on bringing her family back together again to be whole—well, as whole as it ever would be. But she’d been wrong. So very wrong.

“What else did he say?”

“Nothing really.” Nicola frowned, taking the ring back and closing the lid on it with a snap. She didn’t slide it back into her purse like she wanted to, keeping the warm box in her fingers as a reminder of why she wasn’t engaged any more. “I refused to meet up with him, so I’m going to bring it to his aunt tonight.”

“His aunt?” Alanna frowned slightly. “Why her?”

“It’s her ring, technically.” Nicola shoved the box into her purse finally, her stomach twisting in knots. Something about Abagail had always made her uneasy, and she’d never really been able to put her finger on it. She was an attractive older woman who certainly knew what she wanted in life and wasn’t afraid to make that happen. Maybe that’s what it was, because Nicola couldn’t be more opposite of that. She was blown this way and that way by life, and most often felt like she was just struggling to hang on for dear life.

“Then you should really give it back.” Alanna pointed her hand at her. “Tonight?”

“Yes, I’ll give it back tonight.” Nicola hated that her sister was always the ethical one. Then again, it was good to have that compass in her life, because she was getting desperate for cash. Desperate enough to do some very unethical things. “What have they got you doing today?”

Nicola had to change the topic of conversation. It was veering far too close to conversations that Alanna didn’t need to know or worry about. Nicola leaned back into the uncomfortable family chair and listened as Alanna rattled on about all the therapies she had that day still and the ones she’d already completed. It was a long litany. They never kept her still there, which was a good thing. Alanna needed the stimulation.

When the assistants came to get Alanna for some physical therapy, Nicola cleaned up the room a bit before trying to leave unnoticed. Unfortunately, as soon as she opened the door to leave, Miss Trunchbull—at least that’s what Nicola called her—was right there waiting.

“Oh, hi.” Nicola plastered on the biggest smile that she could. She was going to have to charm her way out of this conversation. “I was just leaving.”

“Not yet. We need to talk.” Miss Trunchbull crossed her arms and blocked the door. Even if Nicola wanted to leave, she couldn’t.

“Fine. Your office?” Nicola tried her best to keep that smile plastered on her lips, but it was a little harder now.

Miss Trunchbull nodded and then put her hand out in front of her so they could walk side by side. She definitely wasn’t going to let Nicola get away from this one, was she? As soon as they were inside the office, Nicola took a seat and nervously clung onto the side of her purse.

“We need a payment by the end of the month or we’re going to have to terminate services for Alanna.”

“I know.” Nicola frowned. “I’m working on getting a new job today, actually. I’ll be able to pay you something next week.” Why had she just made a promise she absolutely knew she couldn’t keep? Nicola held back the wince, not letting anyone see how weak she was. “I’ll catch up all the payments by the end of the year. I promise.”

Miss Trunchbull sighed heavily. “Alanna is making good progress here. I would hate for her to decline because she wasn’t receiving the proper medical care.”

“I understand.” That was honestly the only thing Nicola ever thought about lately—how to make money for Alanna’s medical care. She had to make sure that Alanna had the very best so that she could someday leave the facility and live on her own. That was the ultimate goal.

“Perhaps there’s some family you can call on at a time like this.”

Nicola pursed her lips. She’d already talked to her Aunt Simone, but she was going through her own drama right now, which meant that finances were really tight. Other than that, there was no family left. She’d been counting on Warren’s check, which had been stupid. She shouldn’t have thought he would actually follow through on that.

“I know. I’ll get you a check next week for at least the rest of this month. I’ll start working on paying everything off as soon as I have this job locked in.” The lies were adding up now. Nicola swallowed them down and let them churn in her stomach. The advantage to Alanna being holed up in the facility was that Nicola could control what information got to her—at least about this. And Alanna had no clue that Nicola had been living out of her car and had a negative balance in her checking account. Biting her lip, Nicola lifted her chin and faked the confidence she knew Abagail had in spades.

Maybe it wasn’t that they were opposites. Maybe it was just that Nicola wanted to be like Abagail. Rich. Confident. Free. Nicola squared her shoulders. “Was that everything you needed to discuss with me?”

“Next week, Nicola.”

“Just like I promised already. I’ll have a check to you then.” Nicola stood up and slid her purse higher up on her shoulder. She didn’t look behind her as she walked out of the office and through the hallways back to her car.

It wasn’t until she slid behind the wheel of her vehicle that she let everything go. Tears slid down her cheeks and fell onto her thighs. She pressed her forehead into the steering wheel and let herself succumb to the emotions that she couldn’t show to anyone else. No one could know just how bad it was.

Because she was at rock bottom.

She had no other choice than to beg Warren or Abagail for money or turn to the seedier side of life that she’d wanted to be a last-ditch effort.

And she already knew Warren and Abagail were a no, so that left her with one option.

She had to find a way to make money.

Yesterday.

four

“Oh hell,” Abagail mumbled, sitting straight up. Her head was turned toward the door of the bar, her eyes locked on none other than Nicola. What the hell is she doing here? Abagail cringed, her heart pounding. She’d been having a nice conversation with Greer, her best friend’s girlfriend’s best friend. Say that ten times fast. And she really hadn’t wanted it to end, or be disrupted. Something about Greer had put her at ease in a way she hadn’t felt since she and Elia had—well, since she’d fucked up that friendship.

“What?” Greer spun around to face the direction that Abagail was facing. “Who’s the hottie?”

“She’s not a hottie,” Abagail muttered under her breath, but she didn’t move to do anything. She just lay in wait. Because maybe Nicola wouldn’t see her. Maybe this little moment that she was sharing with Greer wouldn’t end right away, and maybe she wouldn’t have to deal with the shitstorm that was her family for just a smidge longer.

“Are you hiding from her?” Now Greer seemed far more intrigued than she should be.

“Nope.” Abagail wasn’t going to give Greer any more information. Greer didn’t need to be involved in the family drama any more than Abagail wanted to be.

Greer locked her gaze on the strange woman, who looked at them curiously, then shifted her glance and caught sight of Abagail. Turning back toward Abagail, Greer smiled. “Well, time’s up. If you want my help to get rid of her, you’re going to have to give me more.”

Abagail groaned. “She’s my former soon-to-be niece-in-law.”

“Aunt Abagail?” Nicola sounded nervous. Abagail could sniff out that anxiety anywhere. She’d sensed it at the house when they’d met last, and it was right back here as well.

“Nicola.” Abagail sighed her name in frustration.

“I uh… I was told to return this to you.” Nicola stood in between Abagail and Greer, as she slid a small box onto the table in front of Abagail.

The ring.

“To me?” Abagail raised an eyebrow in curiosity. She flipped open the box and stared at it before flipping it around so Greer could see. She wanted Greer’s reaction to the size of the rock in there, because it was obnoxiously huge. Abagail had never wanted to wear it—ever, which was why she’d given it to her brother instead of keeping it to herself. “Your engagement ring.”

“Warren said that it was a family ring… so I had to give it back.” That nervous tick was back in Nicola’s face, the corner of her eye twitching so slightly that it’d be almost imperceptible if Abagail wasn’t watching her so closely.

Abagail took the box and snapped the lid closed loudly, leaving it on the table. This was Warren’s stupid game of making her do his dirty work because he was too selfish to take care of his own problems like an adult. “Greer and I are having a private conversation.”

“Jesus, Abagail, the woman clearly just broke up with her fiancé. There’s no reason to be a jerk about it.” Greer hopped out of her seat and offered it to Nicola. She waved the waitress over and then sat down in the third chair at the small table.

“She’s not my niece.” Abagail pointed at Nicola, but she was looking at Greer. “I don’t have to be nice to her.”

“What if the breakup wasn’t her fault?”

Abagail knew it wasn’t. This had Warren’s entitled little ass written all over it. But he did boot Nicola from the family, which meant that Nicola wasn’t Abagail’s problem either. Though she was curious what led to the actual breakup. She’d predicted it would happen well before now.

“Um… tequila shots, please. And some water,” Greer said, swooping in and playing the role she was born for. The caregiver. “Right, so um… did you get dumped?”

The silence was deafening, even in the loud bar with music playing. Abagail actually wanted the answer to that question. She was curious what idiocy her nephew had created now, but she hadn’t been willing to ask.

“Okay, so since both of you are chatty.” Greer rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat. The waitress couldn’t get here fast enough. “I’m Greer.”

“Nicola,” she said, nodding in Greer’s direction. “How do you know Aunt Abagail?”

“Uh… we’re friends?” Greer answered it like a question. “It’s a long story.”

Abagail would be happy to call Greer her friend, or at least someone she was very slowly letting in. If anything the last few months, she realized she needed more than just Elia to rely on. That circle had to expand—unfortunately. And Greer had been available and not ridiculous. She’d been a good connection to have so far.

Nicola nodded, her eyes lighting on Greer. “Are you her new…fling?”

“Watch it, Nicola,” Abagail ground out, her entire body tensing. She had no idea what Greer had been told of her proclivities, but she certainly didn’t need it getting around in the bar that she owned that she preferred short term relationships that only lasted a few weeks max with a woman who could keep up with her. She didn’t need the entire world to know anything more than what she’d told them.

“I don’t mean anything by that, Aunt Abagail⁠—”

“I’m not your aunt, so you can cut that. And since you’re clearly not marrying my nephew anymore, you can really cut it. Makes me feel old,” the last bit Abagail mumbled under her breath. That wasn’t really the problem. The issue was that Nicola had always been attractive and flirtatious whenever Abagail had been around. Warren had seemed oblivious to it, but Abagail was damn sure that the salutation was just to get under her skin anyway.

Greer laughed at that. Abagail shot Greer a sharp look. She didn’t need both of them to come after her like that. “And you can cut it out, too.”

Greer put her hands up in the air. She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face, but she was giving in to Abagail’s demand. Greer focused on Nicola, her lips keeping that ever-present smile she always wore. “What do you do for work?”

Nicola frowned. “I uh… don’t work right now.”

“She quit her job when Warren told her that he wouldn’t marry a woman with a job.” Abagail tossed back her third drink of the night. “And the idiot agreed with him and did it.”

“Again Abagail, don’t be a jerk,” Greer said, pointedly.

“Would you do that? If Ivy, Lachlan, and Nathalie told you today that you could live with them, but they wouldn’t pay you anymore, would you do it?” Abagail looked at her directly. “Think about it. Because if you end up in a relationship with them, why would they pay you? A woman’s labor is often considered free labor. Don’t be stupid enough to fall into the trap that the patriarchy has set for you.”

Greer paled slightly, and Abagail knew she’d pushed it too far. But the point she was making wasn’t solely for Greer’s sake, it was for Nicola’s. “You don’t think they’ll do that, do you?”

“I don’t know.” Abagail squared her shoulders. “I don’t know them well enough, and neither do you. You’ve worked for them for how long? Four months? That doesn’t mean you know them at all. And it’s not like you know how they’re going to react if you ask them for more than just a roll in the hay.”

“Abagail!” Greer squeaked.

“She doesn’t know you.” Abagail waved Nicola off. “Forget she’s here.”

“Why are you being such an asshole?” Greer frowned at her. “This isn’t like you.”

“You know me through Elia. This is different.” Abagail pressed her hand down on the table and leaned in toward Greer, effectively shutting Nicola out of the conversation. It’d be a good way to prove exactly how the conversation was going to go from here on out.

“She’s family,” Greer mumbled.

Abagail barked out a laugh. “Fuck family.”

“Well, I agree with the sentiment, but that doesn’t mean you need to be a bitch about it.”

“Fine.” Abagail pointedly looked at Nicola. “You’re broke, you need a job, and you’re out a rich sugar daddy to support you. So you’re here for…what exactly? Because I doubt that Warren told you to bring this to me. You could have very easily given it back to him.”

Nicola turned her chin up, sending Abagail a thousand-watt smile. “I could have. But I needed to talk to you.”

“Talk to me? Oh, this better be good.” Abagail sat back in her chair and crossed her arms with an expectant look on her face. She glanced at Greer, as if making her point that she didn’t have to be an asshole.

“I just need some cash to make it through a few weeks until I can get a job.”

“And here it begins.” Abagail rolled her eyes, her point proven. “How much?”

“Two thousand, that’s it.” Nicola sent Abagail another smile. Was she toying with Abagail? She wasn’t even bothered by Abagail’s flippant and dismissive tone. And there was that undertone of flirting that she always seemed to have when they talked.

“Only two thousand. And you can’t ask Warren for it because he’ll tell you no.”

“Of course he will.” Nicola leaned forward, her low-cut shirt showing off her cleavage.

Was this a seduction? Nicola had certainly seemed to come in here with a plan, and she was taking full advantage of the fact that Greer was forcing Abagail to even have this conversation. But what was she going to do about that fact?

Absolutely nothing.

“I’ll give you the two grand, but for a price,” Abagail lowered her voice, the idea hitting her far more quickly than she imagined it would. If Nicola was that desperate for money, then perhaps she knew why Warren had jumped out of bed with her and into bed with Chaya. Abagail held back the sneer that wanted to twist her face. Because she hated Chaya. And the last thing she wanted was for Chaya to get her hands on the family money.

“And I think I’m out of here.” Greer stood up from the table, awkwardly hitting her knee against the top of it as she moved. Abagail focused on her, confused as to why she was leaving when she was the one who had started this conversation in the first place. “And Abagail, if you can afford to give her two grand, you can afford to pay for my drink tonight because I don’t really want to be present for this any longer. Thanks for the advice.”

Abagail looked at her curiously. “What advice?”

“To break up with them.”

That’s right. Abagail had told Greer to end her relationship with her three bosses. “Will you?”

“Don’t think so, no.” Greer smiled at her. “Catch you later. I’ll text you about… going out again.” Greer finished slowly. “Next time I’ll pick the place so we don’t run into anyone you know. All right?”

“Sure.” Abagail winked at her. “See you around, Greer.”

“Yeah. Uh… see you.” Greer made a quick exit, which left Abagail and Nicola very much alone at the table, and still deep in the heat of a negotiation that Abagail wasn’t quite sure she was ready to hear the result of.

Flagging down the waitress, Abagail ordered another round of shots for them. “Why are you really here, Nicola?” She was tired of playing the games, and Greer’s departure meant she was a bit more comfortable sorting out the family drama.

“To give you the ring back.” Nicola pointed at it. “And to ask you for what Warren can’t give me.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“He said you control the money.”

Abagail snorted lightly. Of course he did. That was his answer to get out of everything when he didn’t want to deal with it. “He has two thousand dollars he could give you if he wanted to.” Abagail snagged the shots and took hers immediately, ordering another one.

“He promised me fifty.”

Abagail choked on her water. “Fifty?”

Nicola nodded. “For all the work I’ve done for him.”

“Work.” Why was she just repeating what Nicola said? It wasn’t helping her figure out anything going forward. “What work?”

“Networking, smoothing over clients when they were upset, marketing and promotion. I’m very good with handling all manner of people.” Nicola leaned forward, that low-cut shirt pulling to the side and revealing even more of her creamy skin.

Abagail didn’t drag her gaze away quickly. “For what?”

“You don’t know about his little side business?” Nicola frowned, her plump lower lip peeking out. “He wants to run his own company someday, just like Aunt Abagail.”

“What company?” Abagail frowned now. Warren had never indicated he wanted to be anything like her.

“Whatever company he can get his hands on.”

Which led Abagail straight back to Chaya. This was a power move, not one made out of love or sexual interest. He was using Chaya to get exactly what he wanted—power and money. Right. Abagail sighed and leaned back into the chair, taking the next shot she’d ordered and sucking it down. Nicola hesitated briefly before doing the same.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll pay for your drinks tonight.”

Nicola finally lifted the small glass to her lips and knocked it back. A drop of alcohol slid from the corner of her mouth and down her chin. She peeked her tongue out to try and capture it, but failed. The drop slid across her skin, moving over her chin and down her neck, straight between her breasts. And Abagail’s gaze had followed every second of it until it disappeared under the material of her shirt.

“You know, I always liked you,” Nicola said, leaning in even more. “Especially when you look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Abagail wasn’t sure she actually wanted the answer to that question. She knew how she was looking at Nicola, like she was the most sinful dessert on the planet. And she wasn’t about to stop either. A woman as sexy as Nicola—as sexually confident as her—should be appreciated. In every aspect that she could be.

“Like you want to take me out back and have your dirty way with me.”

Abagail’s lips quirked slightly. “Not out back, no.”

“Do you have a private office here?” Nicola looked around the bar as if she could deduce exactly where Abagail kept an entire office hidden.

“No,” Abagail said on a slight laugh.

“Car? You dog! I never would have thought you’d be up for car sex.”

“I might just surprise you.” Abagail took a risk, one that without the bolster of alcohol and the blatant conversation they were having, she probably wouldn’t have taken. Leaning forward, she pressed the tip of her finger against Nicola’s chest, exactly where the drop of alcohol had slid down her body. She followed the trail down, her finger under the edge of Nicola’s shirt and then slid it sideways, coming straight into contact with Nicola’s hardened nipple.

“If you weren’t his aunt, I’d revenge fuck the shit out of you,” Nicola whispered, her voice barely loud enough for Abagail to hear over the noise in the bar.

“A revenge fuck?” Abagail asked, the idea niggling in the back of her mind. Would it be revenge for just Nicola or for her as well? Warren did need to learn a few more lessons about life and growing up, but this didn’t seem like the way to go about that. Although it had also been months since she’d managed to find a fling and take a vacation. Then again, she despised her family, so this could be a good fuck you to all of them. Not that they’d find out. Ever. “That implies you’d tell Warren.”

“I won’t if you won’t.”

“Then where does the revenge come into play?” Abagail slid her finger against Nicola’s nipple again, glad when she saw her lips part and heard the gasp.

“Just knowing that we did it,” Nicola said, leaning in closer. “And I think you’d like it.”

“I don’t believe that’s the problem.” Abagail pulled away and waved the waitress over. “Close out my tab.”

Nicola sat back sharply, confused. “Wait, so no revenge fuck?”

Abagail’s lips quirked up, but she said nothing as she stood up and deliberately moved her gaze down Nicola’s body, lingering on her breasts, her crotch, her hips, and then back up the same way she’d come, stopping to leave her gaze on Nicola’s lips long enough that she knew she was going to make Nicola squirm.

“You’re cute.”

“Cute!” Nicola stood up sharply. “Aunt Abagail!”

Abagail pressed her lips together hard and raised an eyebrow at Nicola. “This is my place of business, Nicola. Treat it as such.”

She didn’t wait for a response as she pulled her jacket over her shoulders and walked out of the bar. She needed to get her head back on straight, and she needed to walk away from that temptation. Nothing good would come from that.

five

The fucking car wouldn’t start.

Again.

Nicola fisted her hands and pounded them into the steering wheel, growling, crying, screaming before she wrapped her fingers around it and tried to shake the immovable object. Why couldn’t just one thing go right in her life?

“Get out.”

Nicola jerked with a start. When had the door opened? When had Abagail popped her head into the driver’s side of her car? When had the world started to spin so much? Maybe it was a damn good thing that her car wouldn’t start. Then again, she probably could just sleep in it right here.

Abagail’s gaze dropped to Nicola’s breasts, over her small body in the driver’s seat and then flicked to the passenger seat with the stacks of non-perishable food that Nicola had stashed there to the back where all the blankets and her clothes were stored.

“I said get out,” Abagail repeated. “Now.”

“I don’t...”

“Now, Nicola.” Abagail straightened her back and pursed her lips, holding the driver’s side door open.

Stumbling, Nicola pulled herself out of the car. “You can’t order me around.”

Abagail snorted. “Try me and I’ll call the police on you, not only for attempting to drive while intoxicated but for living in your car.”

Nicola’s jaw dropped. “You have no right⁠—”

“Try me.” Abagail reached forward and snagged Nicola’s arm, just above her elbow. Her grip was tight, bruising almost. Abagail pushed Nicola back into the side of the car, their bodies pressed together. Nicola gulped, a string of fear embracing her before she realized it was because Abagail had lost her footing and stumbled.

Moving her hands up, Nicola pressed her fingers around Abagail’s back and held onto her tightly. Her heart raced. Abagail never got close to anyone. She rarely touched her family. Nicola had noticed that. Not that Warren and Estelle touched all that frequently—there was always an odd, estranged distance between them that didn’t seem familial in the least. But Abagail always maintained a bubble around her.

“Aunt Abagail,” Nicola murmured, pulling Abagail in tighter against her. “You’re going to topple over.”

Abagail hummed, her free hand now finding its way to Nicola’s waist. She pressed her fingers in tightly, holding onto her. “You won’t be driving anywhere.”

“My car’s dead,” Nicola stated. “So no, I’m not going anywhere.”

Abagail pressed her nose against Nicola’s neck and breathed in deeply. Nicola’s heart raced. The tension in the bar had bounced between sexual and frustrated anger, and she’d done everything in her power to just simply keep up with what was happening.

“What are you doing?” Nicola asked.

“Nothing.” Abagail’s head popped back up. She looked over her shoulder at the black car behind her that Nicola had somehow missed. “You can’t sleep on the street here.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“First, you ask Warren for fifty, then me for two. And now you’re refusing any help?” Abagail frowned. “You’d think you’d at least be consistent in what you want.”

“I…” Nicola’s jaw dropped. Then she closed her mouth and pursed her lips tightly. “I see your point.”

“Come home with me.”

“I’ll remind you what you reminded me—you’re not my aunt.”

Abagail snorted and shook her head. “Is that why you offered your body?” Abagail’s thumb pressed into Nicola’s hip bone, under her clothes and against her skin. When had she managed to find her way there? Nicola bit back the groan and moved to look directly into Abagail’s eyes. “Revenge fuck. Isn’t that what you called it?”

“I said if you weren’t his aunt…” Nicola’s entire body heated up, stifling her. With the way Abagail was pressed against her, her senses came alive. “…I’d absolutely fuck your brains out.”

The chuckle that left Abagail’s lips was seduction at its finest. “You’re not his fiancée anymore.”

“No. I’m not.” Was that the sign Nicola had needed? She pushed her hips out into Abagail, not surprised when Abagail pushed back into her. Her heart thrummed steadily. “Are you going to revenge fuck me against the car?”

“Hardly.” Abagail slid her hand up Nicola’s shirt, covering her breast and teasing her nipple through the fabric of her bra. “Do you want to fuck me?”

Nicola let out a shuddering sigh. “Yes.”

“Then get in my car.” Abagail stepped away from Nicola sharply.

As soon as Abagail’s hands left her body, Nicola was cold and longing for more. She’d never been with an older woman before. She’d never so much as thought it was a possibility. Abagail slid into the back seat of the black car, leaving the door open for Nicola to follow. Glancing at her dead car, at her entire life packed away in it, Nicola settled. The cold air of the spring night against her cheeks woke her up and told her this was a bad idea, but the heat and arousal racing through her body, the idea of not sleeping scrunched up on the driver’s seat of her car was far too tempting to ignore.

At least she’d have one night warm in a bed and be sexually satisfied, because there was one thing that Nicola had no doubt about—Abagail would fuck her senseless.

Sliding into the back seat next to Abagail, Nicola shut the door behind her and gasped. Abagail was pressed up against her in seconds, their mouths connecting. The car started to move, and Nicola had to press her hand against the back of the seat to keep herself upright. Abagail was feral. Their kisses were messy, wet, heated.

Nicola wrapped her hands in Abagail’s hair, pulling the short strands tightly and forcing Abagail’s head backward just so she could breathe for a second. Her lips curled upward, finding Abagail as breathless as she was. “Uh, uh, uh.”

Abagail stilled, the arousal falling from her face.

“We do this my way.” Nicola leaned forward, pulling her knee up onto the bench seat in the back row. “You better give your driver a good bonus after the show they’re going to get.”

“I pay well already,” Abagail murmured, leaning backward into the door. They took a hard right turn, forcing Nicola’s body into Abagail’s just like she had hoped and wanted.

Nicola didn’t hesitate. She skimmed her hand down Abagail’s front, parting the jacket at her belly and slipping her fingers under the waistband of her pants. “How do you want me?”

“Just fuck me,” Abagail muttered. “Hard and fast.”

“Perfect.” Nicola pulled at the button and zipper on Abagail’s smooth, soft slacks and pulled them down her hips. She glanced toward the driver, who didn’t seem to be paying a lick of attention, which was good, but also, Nicola didn’t care. She’d probably never meet them again.

She didn’t hesitate as she bent down and breathed in Abagail’s scent. She loved the way a woman smelled, the way it tickled the inside of her nose. She pressed her lips to Abagail’s thighs before pushing them apart so she could reach down with her tongue and fingers. Hard and fast was exactly what Abagail had asked for and Nicola was going to deliver on that.

This wasn’t about making love or finding solace.

This was about revenge.

And release.

And distraction.

Abagail cried out loudly as Nicola slid not one but two fingers inside her. She curled her fingers upward, covering Abagail’s clit with her mouth and sucking hard. There’d be no respite so long as she could manage it.

Nicola pushed her face deep into Abagail’s body. Abagail backed away from her before bearing down against her. The rocking motion of the vehicle added to the sensations and pattern as Nicola went to town on Abagail’s cunt. She lived and breathed in this moment. She knew she’d never get another chance like this, and Abagail tasted so sweet. Her sounds were so inciting.

With damp cheeks and chin, Nicola pressed in even more. She moved her free hand up Abagail’s belly and across her chest, cupping her breast through her bra and squeezing hard until she earned a groan in response. Her heart raced.

She was really doing this.

She really had her face to Abagail’s pussy, her fingers buried deep inside her, and it wasn’t just about revenge anymore. It was about sex, pleasure, and the heat between them. She didn’t want to give this up. She wanted to keep on letting Abagail ride her fingers until she creamed against her. Then she wanted to do it again and again.

Abagail was going to be spent by the time Nicola crawled her way up to sit on her face. She wasn’t going to let Abagail get anywhere near touching her until that happened. Abagail cried out loudly, dropping her hand onto the top of Nicola’s head and tightening her grasp in Nicola’s hair. She pulled sharply as her body curled in on itself and she rocked into Nicola’s mouth.

The tense twitches were exactly what Nicola had been looking for. Nicola stayed right where she was with her fingers, continuing the slow movements and teases. She kissed her way up and over Abagail’s hips, along her belly. She slid her tongue against Abagail’s skin, tasting the saltiness, the roughness. Nicola kept the tease up with her fingers, wanting Abagail not to fall too far from the cliff of orgasm before they started this up again.

“Ma’am, we’re nearly there.” The driver’s voice reached Nicola’s ears, but she wasn’t ready to let Abagail go yet.

“B-back us into the garage.” Abagail tugged on Nicola’s hair and pushed her face back down her body.

Did she want to go again already? Well, Nicola wasn’t going to play that game. She was the one in charge here, even though she was fairly certain that Abagail would insist she was the one in control. Nicola scraped her teeth against Abagail’s hip and across the top of her thigh. She refused to let Abagail push her face any closer to her pussy. Instead, she just breathed in that scent, reveling in it and memorizing it.

Warren would roll over and die if he knew this was happening. Just that thought brought a smile to Nicola’s lips, and she bit Abagail again.

“Ma’am?”

“Just park,” Abagail barked out the order.

The driver got out of the car, shutting the door behind him. Nicola relaxed slightly, knowing they were finally alone—well, as alone as she suspected they could be. She was pretty sure Abagail had people all around her all the time, but that she was still one of the loneliest souls on the face of the planet.

“I’m not sure I can walk,” Abagail admitted, her body relaxing. “That was…intense.”

Nicola hummed, still kissing and scraping her teeth against Abagail’s skin. She hadn’t removed her fingers yet, still wanting Abagail to feel her inside, to know that she was the one in charge here. Then it hit her.

She was in charge.

“Get up,” Nicola ordered, pulling away and sitting back on her haunches. She loved looking at Abagail’s swollen pussy lips, the light glinting off the wetness that coated her still. Nicola licked her fingers clean and then pushed open the door. “Now, Abagail.”

Abagail groaned, but she pushed herself upward slowly.

Waiting outside the vehicle was the hardest thing that Nicola had done that night. Even harder than walking into the bar and finding Abagail to give the ring back. Even harder than pretending like none of this hurt her. Because it did hurt. Desperately. Heartbreakingly. She sucked in a sharp breath and held back the tears and waited for Abagail to step out of the car with her pants and shirt back in place.

“You better be well stocked with everything that I want to use on you tonight.” Nicola crossed her arms, loving the way Abagail’s gaze dropped to her breasts before flicking up to her face. They were both in this for sex and nothing else.

“And if I don’t?” Abagail stretched her back, both hands just above her ass as she pushed her hips and chest forward.

“Then I expect you to find one of your minions and have them go shopping.”

Abagail chuckled lightly, her lips quirking to the side. “I’ll get right on that.”

Nicola glanced toward the only door that could possibly lead into the house and walked directly toward it. She was done waiting for Abagail to lead the way, and if she was the one in charge, then she was going to have to start acting like it. She heard Abagail following her, her shoes against the wood floors.

“Go up the stairs,” Abagail said from behind her.

Nicola glanced over her shoulder, surprised that Abagail had given her directions, but it wasn’t like she’d been in this house before. She raised an eyebrow when her eyes locked on Abagail’s hands at her front, pulling the buttons of her jacket loose while she dragged it off her shoulders and dropped it onto the floor next to her. Abagail gave her a pointed look in return.

“The room you’re looking for is the third door on the left.”

“And you’re stripping on the way up,” Nicola added, needing more of this strip tease that Abagail had accidentally started.

Abagail’s cheeks pinked, but she nodded and started to pull at the buttons by her wrists. “You seem to have sobered on the drive.”

“And did you?” Nicola answered, taking a step backward. Abagail started with the buttons by her breasts.

“No.”

“Want to stop?”

“No,” Abagail repeated, finishing with the buttons and pulling the end of her shirt out from her pants. “Do you?”

“Fuck no.” Nicola grinned broadly, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she took another step and reached the bottom of the stairs. “I fully expect you to reciprocate. In fact, I demand that you do.”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” Abagail’s voice dropped low, a husky quality to it that hadn’t been there before. The shirt was off, and the thin creamy fabric fluttered to the ground as Abagail dropped it. She reached for the railing on the stairs and pulled off her shoes one at a time, undoing the laces before she stood back up straight. “Do you?”

“No.” Nicola’s voice cracked on the word. She’d been so entranced with every move that Abagail was making that she’d barely managed to figure out what answer she was supposed to give. “No, I don’t.”

Nicola took a step up the stairs, still moving backward and slowly. She felt way overdressed now, but Abagail didn’t seem to care. Her underwear was damp, and her pussy tingled and clenched each time she took a step.

Abagail started on her pants next, pulling the button and zipper down and then shucking them down her hips so they dropped to the stairs below her. Her underwear was practical, smooth across her body. Nicola’s heart raced. She was going to love this. She reached the top of the stairs and sat down on the landing. Abagail continued to walk up, pulling her bra off next, followed shortly by the last piece of cloth covering her.

She was stunning.

Her hips were wide, her breasts large, and her curves were gorgeous. Streaks of stretch marks and cellulite crossed the insides of her thighs, which brushed together as she took a step and jiggled slightly when she put her bare foot down onto the wood step three down from where Nicola stood.

Could Nicola snag her and tongue fuck her again here?

God, that’d be amazing.

Abagail stopped one stair below her, standing firmly in place with her hands out to her sides. “Do I meet your approval?”

“Most definitely.” Nicola gave into the intrusive thought and reached out, slapping Abagail’s ass with a loud clap. Abagail groaned and shifted forward slightly, her eyes fluttering shut. “Like that?”

“Yes,” Abagail answered, her jaw tight.

“Come here.” Nicola grabbed Abagail by the hips and tugged her forward. She slipped to the side, moving to stand behind her. The wave of dizziness should have been a warning, but she ignored it as she bent Abagail down, a hand on the small of her back. Abagail went quickly, her palms pressed to the floor and her ass in the air. Nicola bit her lip as she brought her hand back down to meet Abagail’s ass again and again.

Red welts were left in her wake, and her own body was responding in kind, her pussy growing slicker by the second, her breathing ragged. She wanted to fuck Abagail right here and now, but she wasn’t going to do that just yet.

“Stand up,” Nicola said firmly, her voice carrying through the stairwell and down the hallway. “I want to fuck you.”

Groaning, Abagail used the railing to stand upright. She took a second, staring down at Nicola on the stair below and shaking her head. “I’m not the one you want revenge on.”

“No, but you’ll do for now.” Nicola clenched her teeth hard. Is that what she was really feeling? Fuck, she hated when her emotions came up to bite her in the ass. She needed to control herself better. Flicking her hair over her shoulder, she canted her head to the side and gave Abagail a pointed look. “Move.”

Abagail’s lips thinned slightly, but she did turn around and walk down the hallway toward the room she’d directed Nicola to earlier. As she stepped inside, Nicola stripped out of her clothes and left them at the door. They were both going to enter this room bare, stripped down to the very basis of who they were with nothing else to hide behind.

Abagail climbed onto the bed, and Nicola followed. She lifted one of Abagail’s legs up, pressing her knee underneath it before straddling Abagail’s hip with the other. She said nothing as she pressed their pussies together and rocked her hips. Lightning shot through her, pleasure wrapping its way through her body and coiling deep inside her. Nicola breathed deeply, settling her racing heart and keeping her rhythm steady. Abagail shifted slightly, just enough to make the sensations all that much more intense than they had been before.

Shaking her head, Nicola stayed right where she was, grinding her pussy against Abagail’s, moving from a slow building up to a pace that she could barely even control. She was so close. She clenched her teeth together tightly, opening her eyes to stare down at Abagail.

“How close are you?”

“Right about the same.” Abagail struggled to make the words out, her fingers digging into Nicola’s thighs. “Don’t stop.”

Nicola was determined to get Abagail right where she wanted her before she let herself fall over that edge, at least this first time. Who knew if they’d have more time later on? But right now, her goal was orgasm. Her goal was fucking. Her goal was⁠—

“Fuuuuuck,” Nicola cried out, jerking with a start.

“I’m there,” Abagail mumbled, the words lost in the room as Nicola kept moving, pulling their orgasms deeper and longer, making them more intense.

She wasn’t sure how long it was, but when she finally slowed, her head was spinning so bad that she had to fall flat on her back and throw her arm over her face to block out the light from the room. Her breathing was rapid and shallow, and she had to swallow hard to keep herself from barreling over into the nauseous drunk stage.

Minutes passed, Abagail lying next to her and doing nothing, as she calmed her raging body. When Nicola finally uncovered her face, she turned her head and grinned broadly at Abagail, her lips bruised from kisses, her hair a mess, and her skin pink from being well and truly fucked. Nicola burst out laughing, her voice ringing through the room as she shook her head, absolute joy taking over her.

“What?” Abagail asked.

“I should have fucked you years ago.”

six

Abagail was so sore.

The bed was warm and comforting, but she dragged herself from the sheets and steadied herself before she stood up. Revenge fuck wasn’t one she’d done before, but she had to say, revenge tasted sweet. Especially when it came in the form of Nicola.

Her knees threatened to give out as she stood at the edge of the bed and stretched up on her toes. The numerous toys they’d tried and used were left abandoned all over the bed itself, the nightstand, and even the floor. Abagail’s lips quirked upward. Who knew that Nicola had such a side of kink to her? Surely Warren had never gotten this kind of special treatment.

Not that she really wanted to think about her nephew’s sex life. Nope. She could stay far away from that train of thought and be very happy to live into another day. Abagail ran her hand against the back of her head and then down her neck, rubbing out some of the knots that had accrued in the muscles there.

Nicola slept peacefully on the mattress, the blanket wrapped around her legs and pressed against her chest, but her back bare, the curve of her waist and ass showing to anyone who might walk by. Abagail snagged her phone and sent a text to delay breakfast another hour so she had time to clean up and relax her aching body.

Bending down slowly and carefully, Abagail picked up the toys on the floor first. She put them into a pile on the end of the bed so that she could clean them later. She didn’t trust anyone to clean them like she did, wanting to make sure that they were scrubbed and sanitized exactly like they should be.

Nicola hadn’t stirred yet, so Abagail walked around to the other side of the bed and brushed her fingers across Nicola’s cheek. “You need to wake up.”

“Too early,” Nicola grumbled.

Abagail’s lips quirked upward slightly, which was a surprise. Normally she hated when her lovers pushed back at her, but something in the way Nicola did it was adorable. “We need to shower and clean up from last night.”

Nicola groaned and buried her face in the pillow. “Later.”

“No. Now.” Abagail leaned down Nicola’s body and grabbed her ass, squeezing. “Get up.” With one more squeeze, Abagail stood up and made her way into the hallway, stepping over Nicola’s clothes. “Bathroom’s across the hall.”

“Are we showering together?” Nicola asked, suddenly sounding far more awake than she had five seconds ago.

Abagail didn’t answer her. Instead, she walked directly into the bathroom, peed, and then turned on the water as hot as she could stand it. By the time the bathroom door opened and closed again, Abagail had already been standing under the spray and letting the heat work its magic on her body.

“Are we really showering together?” Nicola asked, holding open the glass door to the shower.

Abagail frowned, looking over Nicola’s very naked body which now included bruises from a few bites that Abagail had managed to give her last night. “Only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to.” Nicola grinned brightly. “It’s just… not something I ever thought you’d be interested in doing.”

“Hmm…” Abagail held out her hand for Nicola to take. Once their fingers connected, Abagail’s heart stuttered slightly and her knees went weak. The heat must be too much. She’d turn the temperature down in a second. “I can be a lot more adventurous than most people think.”

“I’ll say.” Nicola pressed Abagail into the cold tiled wall.

Abagail grunted, but it felt nice against her skin. Nicola winked at her before slowly sliding down to her knees, her back and feet in the edges of the spray. She dropped kisses against Abagail’s skin, the tops of her breasts, her nipples, and over her stomach. Instinctively, Abagail parted her legs, leaving just enough space for Nicola to fit right between them.

This hadn’t been her intention when inviting Nicola into the shower this morning. She’d assumed that their little tryst was over and done with, but they did need to clean themselves up to prevent potential infections. Abagail’s heart hammered when Nicola’s mouth covered her clit, when her fingers slid inside her again. Abagail pressed her head back against the wall, holding onto the soap dispenser to keep herself upright.

Fuck. Nicola had been right. Doing this years ago would have been amazing. Nicola should have been hers this entire time instead of Warren’s. He’d been hiding this hot young fox and tamping her down, hadn’t he? He probably didn’t even know what to do with someone like Nicola.

“You taste so fucking good,” Nicola muttered against Abagail’s body before diving back in.

Abagail clenched her eyes shut tight, the heat from the shower and the arousal coiling together and threatening to overwhelm her. She pressed her toes hard into the shower floor to keep herself upright as Nicola pulled her thigh over her shoulder to get a better—deeper—angle. Abagail cried out loudly, just trying to keep up with all of the sensations.

She pushed Nicola’s head away, really needing to give her body some sort of respite from orgasming. Last night had been long and sweet and amazing, but she did need to let her muscles recuperate a bit before they continued. Well, not that they were going to do that anyway.

Pulling Nicola to stand up, Abagail turned herself so she was completely under the hot spray of water. How was she going to handle this? Normally when she went into flings, there was a lot of conversation ahead of time about the expectations of the relationship and just how long everything was going to last.

She and Nicola had started that conversation, but they’d both been intoxicated and they hadn’t come to any sort of agreement—at least not formally. Brushing her hands through her hair, she was surprised when Nicola pressed hands to her hips and pulled her out of the water and flipped places.

“We should probably talk about what happens next,” Abagail started, introducing Nicola to the conversation that had been racing through her mind all morning.

Nicola winked at her and dipped her head under the spray. Water sluiced its way over her shoulders, her breasts, against her hardened nipples, and down her body. Abagail followed it, her gaze lingering right between Nicola’s legs, right where she wanted to find herself again. It was just the fact that she was so used to having one or two weeks with her flings, and only having one night with Nicola was throwing off her rhythm.

That’s all the attraction was.

“I’m not sure anything happens next,” Nicola said, reaching for the shampoo. “We said this was a one-night revenge fuck. That’s all it is, right?”

“Right.” Abagail stepped back under the water while Nicola lathered her hair up. She pressed her hand between her legs and started to clean her labia and her body, but she couldn’t drag her gaze away from Nicola. Everything she did was a tease. “I already spoke with Cal, and he’s getting your car to a mechanic so it’s functional.”

“W-what?” Nicola stuttered, her entire body stilling. “Why would you do that?”

“Because you couldn’t get your engine to start last night.” Abagail squinted slightly, trying to figure out where she’d slipped up, but she couldn’t reason it out.

“When did you do that?” Nicola shook her head.

“While you were sleeping this morning.” Abagail took some of the shampoo and lathered her own hair up. “I figured it was the least I could do, since you’re short on cash.” Why had that small sneer ended up in her voice? Abagail hated that it did. She’d meant for this to be a nice thing for Nicola, not something to point out how poor she was.

“Uh… thanks, I guess. But I need cash, not my car fixed.”

Abagail stilled. Weren’t the two the same? “What do you need cash for if it’s not to fix your car?”

Nicola frowned and then moved to put herself under the water, effectively ending the conversation. Abagail took the soap and lathered up her body while she waited for Nicola to be finished. She had an entire day’s schedule to get started on, and it was going to be a long day at that. She had to set Ivy up to be gone and prepare for the upcoming divorce trial that she had finally gotten scheduled. And they needed to figure out once and for all what was happening at Ivy’s old place of work, the doctor’s office that really was the bane of Abagail’s existence.

“I don’t want your money,” Nicola said, wringing out her hair before she reached for the conditioner.

Abagail had a sharp retort on the tip of her tongue, but she stopped herself and instead went to rinse her hair and body. Nicola had practically begged her last night in the bar for cash, and she knew that she’d tried to coerce Warren into giving her money. There had to be a good explanation behind it, which Abagail really wanted to know now.

Wiping off her face, Abagail stared Nicola down hard. “You wanted it last night.”

“I was drunk last night,” Nicola mumbled and tried to step around Abagail in the shower, but Abagail stopped her.

“You weren’t drunk when you asked me for money. And you weren’t drunk when you asked Warren for it.”

“Yeah, well, he’s an ass.” Nicola frowned and then winced. “I’m sorry. I realize he’s your nephew, but after quitting my job for him and believing the promises he made, I figured he should pay me back something.”

“Pay you back?” Abagail kept her hand on Nicola’s arm tight. She didn’t want to elongate this conversation any more than it already was.

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want or need your money.”

“Then earn it.” Where the hell had that thought come from? Abagail was going to bury herself in the ground for this one, wasn’t she?

Nicola snorted and forced her way under the spray of water again. “No thanks!”

“No thanks?” Abagail mumbled. She hated being told no, especially when all she was trying to do was help when she didn’t have to. Didn’t people understand that she rarely did that? She wasn’t one to just give handouts, ever.

“I don’t take handouts.”

“It’s not a handout if you work for me.” Abagail frowned again and tried to talk herself out of this, but it wasn’t working. She squared her shoulders and put conditioner in her hair. She had to get dressed and ready for work soon. “And trust me, I don’t give handouts.”

Nicola crossed her arms and stared at her oddly. Abagail finished rinsing her hair and came to a stop, eyeing Nicola over. “What?”

“What would I be doing for you, exactly?”

“Well, you can work in my bar, since I know you have experience as a bartender and waitress.” Abagail bit the inside of her cheek. But if Nicola had been asking for that amount of cash and she needed it quickly, then the bar job wasn’t going to be enough.

“I’ll take it, but it won’t be enough.” Nicola sighed heavily.

“Then work for me.” Abagail stepped in closer, wrapping her arm around Nicola’s back and tugging her in closely. “I often have companions for several weeks, up to a month, so it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for you to join me for that length of time. It’d give you a roof over your head so you’re not sleeping in your car, and well…more of last night.”

“And this morning?” Nicola pressed her palm over Abagail’s breast, teasing her nipple with the side of her thumb. “Because I won’t lie and say that revenge fucking you was a mistake. It was delicious.”

Abagail chuckled at that, a smile playing at her lips. “It was good.”

“Just good?” Nicola raised an eyebrow in a tease. “Oh, I can make it better.”

“Will you?” Abagail scraped her short nails against the small of Nicola’s back, her heart racing. This was easily a way they could both get something out of this arrangement.

“You do realize that you’re essentially asking me to sell my body to you. And I’ll be honest, sex work was probably where I was headed.”

Abagail tensed at that. “Are you serious?”

Nicola shrugged slightly and pulled away, her cheeks rushing with a rouge that Abagail had never seen on her before. She was embarrassed by that fact. More now than ever, Abagail knew that she couldn’t just let Nicola walk out of the house and never see her again. She had to do something to at least help Nicola get back on her feet.

Abagail snagged Nicola’s hand and spun her, pushing her into the wall and pressing their wet naked bodies together. Nicola was at least three inches taller than her, but when they were this close, it didn’t make that much of a difference. Abagail pressed her fingers to Nicola’s throat, then trailed them down her chest and over her collar bones to her small, pert breasts. She’d loved touching Nicola’s breasts last night, teasing them with her fingers and her mouth. She’d loved bending over and letting Nicola spank her until she was ready to come just from the mix of pain and pleasure that washed through her.

“I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to,” Abagail whispered, looking directly into Nicola’s eyes, her jaw set. “Never.”

“I-I know you won’t,” Nicola stuttered, her eyes widening. “Why would you think that I’d think that?”

“If you go into sex work, you lose a lot of control.”

“Depends on how you do it,” Nicola whispered. “With technology…”

Abagail shook her head. “It’ll follow you for the rest of your life. Stay here, work at my bar, get back on your feet, and let me pay you.” Abagail moved her hand down lower, right between Nicola’s legs. She slid her middle finger deep inside Nicola, pressing her palm against Nicola’s clit. “Don’t make stupid decisions again.”

“Again?” Nicola groaned out the word, dropping her hips down onto Abagail’s hand.

“Yes. Again.” Abagail scraped her teeth along Nicola’s neck, thrusting her hand and fingers even deeper inside Nicola. This would be so much better if she had a strap with her, but those were still dirty and in a pile on the bed. She’d love to fuck Nicola against a wall with her cock buried deep inside her. “Don’t let other people rule your life.”

Nicola moaned, her voice reverberating around the shower, music to Abagail’s ears.

“Trust me to take care of you, just for a little while.” Abagail bent down and covered Nicola’s breast with her mouth, pulling her nipple into a hard point and flicking her tongue over it.

“Yes!” Nicola shouted, her hand on the back of Abagail’s head and pushing their bodies closer together. “Yes.”

Abagail continued to fuck her with her fingers, as hard and as fast as she could. Nicola raised her leg up onto Abagail’s hip, widening her stance and changing the angle. She looked down, locking their gazes together. Abagail held her stance, fucking Nicola until she came, until there was the tender pull of her body against Abagail’s slick fingers. She moved in, capturing Nicola’s lips in a brutal, hard, and deep kiss.

“Clean yourself up,” Abagail ordered. “I have to go to work.”

She left the shower and wrapped a soft fuzzy towel around her body. Nicola stayed in the shower while Abagail left and walked to her own bedroom to get dressed and ready for the day. She’d figure out exactly why she’d made the offer later, when she had more time to think it through. Until then, she was just happy to know that Nicola would be there when she got home that night.

She’d need the release.

seven

Nicola’s hands shook as she lay on the bed still wrapped in her towel. Abagail had left an hour ago, with the message that she’d come back tonight and expect something to be planned for them.

She was reading the text from Abagail that had dinged through her phone thirty minutes ago. And she kept reading it on repeat. Half of her had thought that Abagail would never follow through with it, but Nicola had been proven wrong. Again.

Abagail: Your shift at the bar starts at four. Don’t be late. It’s just to fill out paperwork and get acquainted with everything. Short shift.

Nicola had written back a quick thanks and then cringed. She literally had nothing to wear except what she’d worn the night before. All her other belongings were in the car that Abagail had towed somewhere to get fixed, which meant that she was literally at Abagail’s mercy.

Nicola: I don’t have anything to wear. All my clothes are in my car.

Nicola didn’t really know what she expected from that text, but she had to tell Abigail something, because she couldn’t possibly go into a new job with the clothes from last night that reeked of sex and alcohol. She would if she had to, but that bar was a lot higher class than the ones she was used to working at.

Stretching her legs and back, Nicola moved around on the bed. Her toe touched the pile of toys that Abagail must have picked up before she’d left the room that morning. Nicola should at least clean them and get them ready for tonight. She was supposed to go visit her sister again too, maybe steal a bit of lunch from her tray if she could, but she had no way to get to the rehabilitation facility now.

Abagail: Cal will take you where you need to go, and he has a business card.

“What?” Nicola shook her head in surprise. Maybe she could get used to having a sugar mommy if this was how it was going to be. But Warren had been that way in the beginning too, willing to buy her things and take her places. It had all slowed down and become way more of an argument until it stopped entirely.

She checked the time and then made the call, needing to update her aunt at least on what had happened in the last few hours and days. And her aunt had lunch right about now.

“Nicola!” Aunt Simone sounded worried. “I tried to call you last night and it just went to voicemail.”

“I’m so sorry.” Nicola winced. “My phone died and the charger was in the car. I couldn’t find another one until this morning.” Nicola pointed her toes and stretched her muscles some more. “But it’s all good now.”

“All good?” Simone didn’t sound very convinced of that. “I think you should come out here and stay with me for a while.”

“We already talked about that. You have your hands full and house full already.” Nicola was glad to avoid that one. Ever since Simone had married Howie, she’d avoided going to their house. She did not like that man one bit. He gave her the creeps, and every time she was in his vicinity she was pretty sure he was staring her over trying to figure out which way he was going to fuck her. She hated it.

“I know. I know.” Simone sighed. “But I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine. I promise. In fact, I got a new job! I start today.” Nicola gnawed on the inside of her cheek. She couldn’t remember if she’d told Simone that she’d been fired from her last job or not, and she definitely hadn’t told Abagail that. It had been an unjust firing, but she didn’t have the energy or the time to fight it.

“New job?” Nicola could hear the sound of a bell through the phone, and she knew she’d caught her aunt right when lunch was happening.

“Yeah, at a bar, so it’s perfect for me.” Nicola clenched her jaw. She had to make this sound like it was the best deal in the world. “And it means I can stay out here and take care of Alanna still. I don’t want to leave her all alone.”

“I get that.” Simone sighed heavily. “It’s honestly probably a good thing. Howie and I… I’m working on a way to get out of this marriage. I can’t talk too much about it because I don’t want him to find out what I’m planning, but just know that I hope to be around a lot more often in the future.”

“We’d love that.” Nicola smiled, love seeping into her heart. Simone had been the only stability that she and Alanna had while they’d finished growing up after the accident. “Don’t worry about me, Aunt Simone. I can take care of myself.”

“Mmm… I would like to believe that.” Simone sighed again. “But it’s my job to worry about you. I’m glad you got a new job. Please do let me know if you need any money for Alanna’s care. I know finances are tight right now, but I think I can figure out a way to take out a loan or something.”

“Nah, it’s all fine. I told you that Warren said he’d cover it for a while until I got a new job in place.” Nicola hated lying, but it was the easiest way to not have her aunt worrying about more than she could handle right now.

“All right. He’s such a sweet guy. I’m not sure why it didn’t work out between you.”

Nicola had to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. She could hold her own in the face of Warren and his crowd, in front of Abagail and Greer, and even Alanna. But doing it in front of Simone? The one woman who was more her mother than her mother had been, simply because she’d been there the last six years? Yeah, that was impossible.

“It just didn’t,” Nicola whispered. She didn’t want to think about everything that Warren had lobbed in her direction, the hate and anger, the brutal attacks he’d unleashed. It had been so hard until she’d finally just walked out and decided living in her car was the better option. She wasn’t exactly thrilled about living in Abagail’s house either, but at least she’d gotten a hot shower and a clean towel in the process.

“I’m here to listen all about it when you’re ready to talk to me. Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.” Nicola cleared her throat. “I need to go get some khakis for my first shift tonight, so I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay. Love you, baby.”

“Love you too, Aunt Simone.” Nicola smiled. Simone and Alanna were the only family she had left, and she wasn’t going to lose them ever again. It wasn’t worth it. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Nicola made sure that she was mentally prepared to start a new job and to get back on her feet.

She just needed a few weeks with Abagail, and that was all she was going to take.

Nicola had finished filling out the paperwork thirty minutes ago, but she was left just sitting in the office with nothing to do until the training manager showed up. She hated this about first days. She really didn’t need training. What she needed was just to get up onto her feet and serving customers so she could start earning tips.

Tips were her bread and butter.

And with her tits and flirty personality, she could usually snag herself a handsome sum by the end of the night. But she couldn’t do that if she was stuck in the back office waiting for the one right person to come in and release her from duty.

“You must be Nicola,” a woman with a black halter top and huge breasts came into the office. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, but it was pristine and perfect, the curls bobbing against her shoulders and her makeup done up in a way that made her look young and sexy. It was a talent that Nicola had used many times over the years, but she hadn’t tonight. She needed cash flow before she could buy herself some new makeup.

Then again, she probably could have used Abagail’s card, but something about that felt wrong. She didn’t want to push the boundaries of her relationship with Abagail—at least not in this way.

“Yeah.” Nicola stood up, sliding her phone into her back pocket.

“I’m Tommie.” She held out her hand for Nicola to take it and shook. “I’m training you tonight.”

“Perfect.” Nicola grinned. “I have a lot of experience with this, so hopefully I’ll catch on quickly to the policies and procedures here.”

“Even better.” Tommie winked at her. “Grab an apron and let’s get started then. It’s going to pick up in the next hour or two and probably stay pretty steady until about eleven. Then it’ll slow down.”

“Awesome.” Nicola snagged one of the aprons on the shelf that Tommie had pointed to. They finally walked out to the main bar area and Tommie showed her where things were. She told her all about the drink specials and gave her a crash course on what to expect.

Nicola hadn’t expected to like it there so far, but it was looking like this job might not be an awful fit. She’d been hesitant because Abagail owned the place, but it didn’t seem she was there all that often, and that when she did show up, she stayed out of the day-to-day business.

Hours passed, and Nicola was picking everything up easily enough. She hauled over a drink order to a group of guys who were just starting a round of poker with their cigars stinking up the place. Nicola was going to have to get used to that and make sure that she showered and put on clean clothes when she went to visit Alanna. Her sister didn’t need to be exposed to any of that.

She was just heading back to the bar when a new group of young guys came in. They were already loud and pulling the attention of customers and employees alike. Nicola scrunched her nose at them and then went cold.

Warren was in the middle of that group.

“Shit.” She ducked into the kitchen area and clenched her fists trying to calm her racing heart. Abagail hadn’t mentioned that Warren frequented the bar. When they were together he often went to the bar with the boys, but he’d never mentioned which one. She should have known better.

“Nicola!” Tommie called to her. “There’s a new table for you.”

Nicola cringed. She was probably getting handed the table of asshats because she was new and no one else wanted to deal with them. And Nicola had been out with those guys before, they were absolute jerks to waitstaff anywhere. But she needed this job.

“Nicola!”

“Yeah, I’m coming.” She cleared her throat. This was either going to work in her favor or it was going to work against her. She had no idea what kind of mood Warren was going to be in today, and that would pretty much determine the direction this went. She put on the best war face that she could manage and headed straight for the table, leaving Tommie and the bartender behind. This wasn’t going to end well. Nicola already knew that. “What drinks can I get for you?”

The noise stopped abruptly.

“Dude! It’s your ex!” Dominic pointed at her and then gaped at Warren. “She’s a waitress?”

“She’s not one of us,” Warren muttered back, glaring at her. “Though I didn’t think you’d stoop so low as to work at Aunt Abagail’s bar.”

Nicola swallowed her pride and puffed up her chest. “What drinks do you want?”

Warren snorted and shook his head, moving to stand next to her and wrap his arm around her shoulder, tugging her into his side. “She really thinks that she still has a job here.”

He waved over to the bar, getting Tommie’s attention. She came over, looking curiously at Nicola before focusing on Warren. “Yes, Mr. Kerrbox.”

Warren sneered, and it was the ugliest look Nicola had ever seen on his face. “Did she tell you why she was fired from her last job?”

Nicola’s heart sank.

“She stole straight from the till.”

“Warren, you don’t have to be cruel. You know I need this job,” Nicola murmured under her breath, hoping that some of the decency she’d seen in Warren would pop back up.

“And she fucked the boss.”

That wasn’t an all-out lie, and it meant that he was going to play dirty. Tommie frowned at Nicola and then shook her head. “Did you steal from the till?”

Nicola should just lie. It might save her another day or two before they called her former boss and found out, but Warren wasn’t lying about that first accusation. She had stolen. Because she’d been starving and she needed to pay off Alanna’s bill in order to keep her there. She’d been desperate.

“Yes.” She wasn’t going to explain herself either. She was tired of that. She was tired of Warren fucking up her life. “I can see myself out.”

Warren tugged her back to his side, sliding a hand down her body from her breast to her waist to her hip and onto her ass, slapping her butt hard. She cringed, spinning around, her hand fisted. She jabbed him in the nose. She heard the crunch and felt it against her hand. Blood poured from his face, down over his chin and onto his shirt.

Satisfaction was the only thing that she felt.

And she leaned into it. “Fuck off, Warren. And get a damn life.” Without hesitating, she ripped the apron from around her hips and threw it at Tommie. “Don’t bother. I know what you’re going to say.”

“Call the cops!” Warren whined.

Nicola ignored him. She walked straight for the door and stepped outside into the cold drizzling rain. She breathed heavily as she started down the road, just needing to get as far away from there as possible. She needed space between him and her, and she needed to clear her head.

What the hell was Abagail going to think now?

She’d definitely put some of her credibility on the line so that Nicola could have that job. And Nicola had no doubt that she was going to be upset. She had just ruined any chances of getting back on her feet. And Warren was at the very root of it. Again.

“Fuck you, Warren!” Nicola shouted at no one in particular. She just had to get that off her chest. “Fuck you and your entitled ass!”

God, that had felt so good. She stretched her arms out to the sides and shook her head. She was going to have to talk to Abagail again soon because Abagail had her car. And if there was one thing that she couldn’t give up, it was that. She needed to be able to get to see Alanna.

She just couldn’t do that right away. She just needed a few more hours to get her anger under control. She just needed a damn break.

eight

“So were you fired or did you walk out?” Abagail slapped her palm against the bedroom door, finding Nicola lounging on top of the blankets and the sheets, already naked, the strap pressed to her hips, and her nipples with clamps on them.

“Uh…what?” Nicola blinked hard, shaking her head.

“I think that was a rather blunt and to-the-point question. What didn’t you understand about it?”

“I walked out…” Nicola moved to sit up, crossing one leg under her body as she eyed Abagail over. “But it’s fine, because I still have this job.”

Abigail guffawed, loudly. She threw her hands up in the air and shook her head. “This arrangement is for a few weeks at best. Working as a waitress can last much longer than that.”

“I-I know.” Nicola cocked her head to the side, as if trying to judge where Abagail was going next with the conversation or what she’d done to fuck this all up already.

Abagail straightened her shoulders and took in a deep breath. She’d known she was coming in hot to the conversation, but let’s face it, she was flat out pissed. Not only had her day been long and awful, but she’d gotten a call from Tommie that Nicola had walked out right when there was a massive rush of customers.

“Why the hell would you give that up?” Abagail fisted her hands and put them on her hips. “Why the hell would you walk out?”

“Warren was there!” Nicola screeched. Her chest heaved, and Abagail saw it for what it was. Nicola was upset. Either by whatever happened at the bar that night, which Tommie had clearly forgotten to let Abagail in on, or by whatever had happened between Warren and Nicola that caused their breakup.

“So you walked out because your ex was there? How fucking immature.” Abagail threw her hand up in the air. “I know you’re young, but I thought you were better than that.”

Nicola’s jaw dropped.

“Get dressed. Because we’re not doing that.” Abagail pointed up and down Nicola’s body. Without another word, she turned on her toes and stalked out of the bedroom and down the stairs. She needed to calm herself down, and she really needed to figure out exactly what had happened between Nicola and Warren. This wasn’t just about revenge anymore. She was tired of both of them acting like children.

She could barely handle it with her own family. She wouldn’t tolerate it with her lovers. Nicola had to do better. Abagail walked directly into the kitchen and poured herself a stiff drink and knocked it back. She poured herself a second one and wandered out into the main living area. She was restless. No matter where she ended up, she had very little desire to actually sit down and relax.

“You said I had to come up with a plan for tonight.”

Abagail stiffened and closed her eyes. “Don’t worry, you’ll still get paid for your services, even if I tell you no or you tell me no.”

“Really?” Nicola winced, her hands clasped together nervously.

Abagail frowned. “I told you that I wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to do—ever. I’m not that kind of woman.”

“All right.” Nicola wrapped her arms around herself. The tight white tank was way too thin, and Abagail could very easily see her dark nipples through it, and the fact that Nicola hadn’t removed the nipple clamps. She was going to have to ignore that, because she really didn’t want to fall into old habits. “Warren got me fired.”

“You were fired because you walked out on the job.” Abagail sipped her drink, staring Nicola down. “Warren did nothing to force you to walk out.”

“I…” Nicola stopped, her lower lip forming into a pout. “You’re right, I did walk out before they could fire me. But he was trying to get me fired.”

Abagail pressed her lips together hard, waiting for more of an explanation. She hadn’t thought that she’d come home to more of the same drama that she’d wanted to leave at the office.

“Who’s to say Tommie would have believed him?” Abagail kept her look pointed. “I suggest you go back tomorrow and beg for your job back. If Warren continues to try and get you fired, then it’s an HR and personnel issue that needs to be dealt with.”

“Right.” Nicola didn’t look convinced though. She rolled her shoulders and eyed Abagail’s glass. She reached for it, snagging it from Abagail’s fingers and finishing it off. “That was good.”

Abagail hummed and frowned. Nicola was going to give her a run for her money, wasn’t she? She was wild in ways that Abagail hadn’t quite understood, and even now she wasn’t sure that she had a full grasp on how that was. If she cared enough, she’d ask Warren about it, but she’d promised Nicola that she wouldn’t talk to him about the fact they’d fucked.

Sighing heavily, Abagail stared at her glass. “Fill it back up.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Nicola curtsied slightly, the black miniskirt she was wearing sliding up her thighs as she moved. She practically skipped out of the den and toward the kitchen.

Abigail scratched the back of her head as she finally moved to sit down in a wingback chair and tried to relax. Had she really just invited another problem into her life? One that she didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with?

She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and stared at the text message she’d received earlier that day from Elia, her best friend. They’d had such a falling out that winter, and it was all Abagail’s fault. Ever since then, Abagail had been clawing at everything she could for control. She clenched her jaw and continued to stare at the screen.

Elia: We should find some time to meet up so we can talk this out. I don’t want to lose our friendship.

Abagail hadn’t meant for that to happen, but it had. She felt ridiculous for even having done what she’d done, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit that she’d been wrong either. At least not to Elia’s face. She could to herself, and that just made her feel even worse than before. Abagail pursed her lips and then bit her lower one.

Abagail: Yes. Let’s find some time.

“Who are you texting?” Nicola sat on the arm of the chair and handed the drink over to Abagail.

She instantly turned her phone off and turned the screen upside down so Nicola couldn’t see what she’d just been doing. The last thing she needed was for Nicola to pry into her personal life and add her two cents into the overflowing bucket of guilt that Abagail already dragged around with her.

“My best friend,” Abagail replied. But did she even have the right to call Elia that anymore? She’d been such an idiot, and she had crossed far more boundary lines than she ever should have. They’d kissed. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Abagail had kissed Elia, confessing her feelings and expecting Elia to reciprocate them.

But she hadn’t.

Abagail had known she didn’t.

So why had she tried to force her hand?

“Best friends don’t usually leave sourpuss faces.” Nicola pressed her finger onto Abagail’s lips and looked at her directly.

“Neither do exes unless it wasn’t a mutual break up.” Abagail looked directly at Nicola, trying to prove her point. There were things that both of them didn’t want to talk about, and these were those things. “You don’t bring up Elia, and I won’t bring up why you and Warren broke up.”

“I’m not allowed to talk about your best friend?” Nicola furrowed her brow at that. “Am I that much of a secret that you don’t even want her knowing about me?”

“No. Not at all.” Abagail took the glass from Nicola’s fingers and sipped it. “Elia is well aware that I have short term relationships and that sometimes I pay for the company I keep.”

“Sometimes?” Nicola pulled back at that. “Are you saying that you’ve paid women before me?”

Abagail hummed. She’d never outright paid for a woman to sleep with her before. She’d never had to. Not that she had to pay Nicola to do that either. But she was paying Nicola far more than she typically did to be in her presence. She was accustomed to the fact that often the women she spent time with needed a financial boost, and Abagail didn’t mind playing that role in their lives for a short period of time. In fact, it made her feel good. At least her money was going to someone who needed it instead of her spoiled nephew who was an entitled little prick.

“Abagail….” Nicola trailed off, the question still in her voice.

“No. I haven’t paid anyone to have sex with me before. You’d be the first.” Abagail took a sip of her drink and settled herself. “But I don’t do long term relationships. I thought I made that clear before. These few weeks that we’ll spend together are the only weeks that we’ll spend together.”

“I understand that.” Nicola slid her fingers along Abagail’s jaw, pulling her chin up so that they were facing each other. “So don’t you want to make use of the time that we have?”

Abagail shook her head again. “No. Not tonight. I’m not in the right head space for that.”

“What if I can tempt you into the right head space?” Nicola pressed her thumb to Abagail’s lips, pushing her thumb into Abagail’s mouth gently.

Abagail sighed, closing her eyes and tasting Nicola’s skin. She flicked her tongue against Nicola’s thumb, and then she sucked on it. She would love to have their bodies pressed together, to use sex to forget about her day, about the text that Elia had sent her, but it wouldn’t be right. And even though she was technically paying Nicola for all of this, she wasn’t about to put either one of them in a situation that wasn’t befitting the arrangement they’d already made.

“No,” Abagail said simply. “Not tonight.”

“Tommie won’t hire me back,” Nicola whispered, her lips pressed against Abagail’s ear.

When had that happened? Abagail hummed, turning her chin to capture Nicola’s lips. Abagail enticed Nicola into another, deeper kiss. Abagail wasn’t sure that she wanted to hear another excuse that day, and one more from Nicola about why she didn’t have a job anymore might just set her over the edge into anger again.

Nicola pulled back, pecking Abagail’s lips gingerly before she grinned and slid onto Abagail’s lap, straddling her in the chair. She kissed her again hard, stealing Abagail’s breath as she ground down against Abagail’s thighs.

“I broke Warren’s nose,” Nicola whispered.

Abagail froze. “You what?”

Nicola’s lips quirked up to the side and she laughed lightly, happily. “I broke his nose with a really good right hook.”

“You’re kidding me.” Abagail’s jaw dropped. “What the hell did he do?”

“He tried to get me fired, and lied about some of it. Pissed me off.”

Abigail laughed in disbelief, shaking her head slowly. “So what you’re telling me is that I can expect a call from Estelle, asking to pay for medical bills to the best plastic surgeon I can find in the Boston area.”

Nicola shrugged slightly, but she didn’t look remorseful at all. In fact, she seemed pretty fucking pleased with herself. “Maybe.”

“God damn it,” Abagail muttered and dragged Nicola back in for another hard kiss. “You really need to grow up.”

Nicola hummed, pulling Abagail’s lower lip between her teeth and scraping it. “I think you like me like this.”

“I like your ability to fuck for hours without getting worn out. Yes.” Abagail slapped Nicola’s ass. Despite Nicola’s best efforts, it wasn’t going to go beyond this tonight. “I don’t like the fact that you walked out of a job that you might still have if you’d just stayed put and dealt with the situation like an adult.”

“Like you’re dealing with it now?”

Abagail narrowed her gaze. “No. Not like right now.”

Why had she ever thought this was a good idea? Nicola was barely twenty-five and Abagail had turned fifty. She was literally twice Nicola’s age, and this situation really brought that out. Abagail wrapped her hands around the backs of Nicola’s thighs and pulled her in tight before moving to stand up and turning at the same time, plopping Nicola down onto the chair right where Abagail had been sitting.

She grabbed her drink from the side table and raised an eyebrow at Nicola. “Grow up.”

“Abagail!” Nicola squeaked, but Abigail wasn’t going to give in to it tonight.

She ignored Nicola’s plea or objection, she wasn’t quite sure which one it was, and walked straight up the stairs to her bedroom. She needed the quiet to think, and to figure out exactly what she was going to say to Elia when they did finally get together again.

Elia.

Now there was a woman who was perfect for Abagail. Mature. Calm. Strong. And someone who knew exactly what she wanted and was willing to work through the tough times instead of just walk out on them. Abagail pulled off her work clothes and lay under the blankets naked.

She flicked open her phone, again reading the text exchange between her and Elia. If only Nicola was a little bit more like Elia, then maybe this wouldn’t be such a strain. But in all her years of dating, Abagail had never found anyone like Elia.

She was unique.

And Abagail was in love with her.

No one compared.

nine

Nicola twisted the screw on the nipple clamp and then pressed the clamp to release her nipple from its grasp. Blood and sensation flooded into the nipple, a wave of pain following it in an instant. She cupped her breasts and massaged her nipple lightly before she released the second one.

She sighed and lay back into the comfortable bed that Abagail had given her in the room that she’d unofficially claimed as hers. What the hell was she doing there again? Why had she agreed to any of this?

It had felt right and wrong at the exact same time, and yet tonight…

Tonight left everything Nicola had thought about Abagail flipped upside down. Warren had always talked about her being ruthless, that she was the one who controlled everything and put the kibosh on so many things in their lives that they wanted to do—vacations, trips, purchases, business opportunities, significant others.

And yet Abagail had refused to fuck her because they were both upset and angry and had shitty days.

That didn’t scream of the ruthless woman that Nicola had come to know through her ex and his mother. She groaned as she massaged her breasts again, trying to rid the pleasure and the ache from her skin. She had been ready to fuck, and it had taken her longer than she’d anticipated to convince her brain and her body to work together for that. So when she dipped her fingers between her legs to check, she was still wet.

But the desire to continue to touch herself was gone.

This house was so quiet. It unnerved her in ways that Nicola hadn’t anticipated. Even when she’d been with Warren there was always some sort of party or event that he was taking her to, noise and people surrounding them. But Abagail was silent. In fact, if Nicola closed her eyes, she was pretty sure that the only thing she’d hear was her own breathing and heartbeat. Not the sound of cars passing by as she tried to sleep, or the fear that some cop would knock on her door and wake her up to arrest her, or the constant chatter of the bars that she worked in.

Silent.

And it was compounded by the fluffy, warm bed that she found herself lying in. Nicola threw the nipple clamps onto the nightstand and sat upright. What the hell was she supposed to do with herself? Abagail was paying her to fuck, but then she’d refused to let Nicola even do her job. Which was a conundrum that Nicola hadn’t anticipated.

She listened to the sounds of the house, finally taking the time to immerse herself in them. But she couldn’t really hear anything. Not people milling around, not Abagail moving through the halls or in her bedroom, which was only a couple doors down from Nicola. Sighing, Nicola turned on her side and closed her eyes.

She wasn’t going to be able to stand it here, was she?

It was too damn quiet.

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand. Frowning, Nicola dragged her upper body over so that she could snag it. Immediately she tensed. It was the rehabilitation facility where Alanna lived. Were they calling to demand the rest of the payment that she most definitely didn’t have?

“H-hello?” Nicola stuttered.

“This is Thrive Wellness. I’m calling because there was a medical event with your sister, Alanna Bolsinger, and you’re listed as her emergency contact.”

“Yes?” Nicola’s heart was instantly in her throat, her entire body closing in on itself as the tension took over her. “What happened?”

If this person didn’t start speaking faster, then Nicola was going to start screaming. She needed answers right now. Immediately. No, she needed them yesterday.

“She had a seizure.”

Well that wasn’t entirely odd. Alanna had had seizures since the car accident, and while Nicola was informed of all of them, they usually weren’t calling at eight in the evening to tell her about them either. She was still tense, her stomach still doing that funny thing when she didn’t know what she was supposed to be doing or how she was supposed to be acting yet.

“We’ve transported her to the hospital.”

“The hospital?” Nicola frowned, already standing up and staring around the room. She didn’t have any of her things. She’d managed to buy three outfits that day, but she couldn’t see any of them to put on in her panic induced blindness.

“We couldn’t stop the seizures like we normally could. The ambulance just left the facility two minutes ago and she will be treated at the hospital until she can return here.”

“Fuck. All right. Which hospital?” Nicola memorized the information, her hands trembling as she hung up the phone and quickly dressed in the clothes she could now miraculously find. She hated this panic. But ever since the car accident that had killed their parents and injured Alanna so badly, these calls always put that pit into her stomach, and it’d take ages for it to recede and vanish again.

If it ever really did.

Nicola stepped out of the bedroom before the world came slamming down on her again.

She didn’t have a car.

And it wasn’t like she had money to even call for a rideshare or something. She wrung her hands together, turning toward Abagail’s bedroom, dragging her feet heavily.

Nicola lifted her hand and knocked on the closed door, praying that Abagail would actually answer for her. They’d left off from that conversation so awkwardly, and she had no idea where Abagail stood on everything.

“Come,” Abagail said, her voice firm and confident.

When Nicola stepped inside the bedroom, she had to squint to make out Abagail’s form on the bed. She was propped up against the pillows and the headboard, a low light next to her and a book pressed against her legs, reading glasses on her nose.

“What is it?”

“I uh… do you have a car I can borrow? Since mine’s not here.” Nicola put her hands behind her back and clasped her fingers together. She didn’t want to come off as nervous.

“Where do you need to go?” Abagail pulled her reading glasses off, setting them next to her thigh, and she narrowed her gaze at Nicola.

“The store, to get some… feminine hygiene things.” Nicola rolled her eyes and gave a chuckle. “Who knew my horniness last night was a direct result of my period coming on?”

Abagail hummed, and the sound moved straight through Nicola’s body in between her legs. She managed to not press her thighs together, but she really wanted to. In fact, if she had time and brain power, she’d just climb into that bed with Abagail and try to forget the world of chaos and pain and tragedy outside.

“Cal can take you, but his shift ends in an hour, so don’t take too long.”

“Right. Thanks.” Nicola bit the inside of her cheek. She should probably be doing something, right? Something that would pay Abagail back for this? With a deep breath, Nicola flounced her way toward the bed and bent down, pressing their mouths together.

She deepened the kiss, parting her lips and sliding her tongue along Abagail’s. She gripped the back of Abagail’s head and held her there tightly. She scraped her teeth along Abagail’s lower lip. Moving the book to the side roughly, Nicola palmed Abagail’s breast and gave her a squeeze hard enough to elicit a squeak and a grunt from Abagail. Nicola pulled back sharply and raised her eyebrows in quick succession.

“I’ll have more of that for you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Abagail’s cheeks were tinged red and her breathing was coming in shorter rasps. “I thought you said you were on your⁠—”

“See you!” Nicola interrupted with a broad smile and quick wave. She turned on her toes and spun out of the room, swaying her hips extra as she went.

As soon as she was outside, she pressed a hand to her heart and held back the tears. She didn’t need Abagail to know what was going on. She didn’t need anyone else to be in the middle of business that was solely and squarely hers. This was her responsibility, and she needed to take care of her sister.

She found Cal downstairs in what was clearly the employee lounge area—although it looked much nicer than any lounge area that Nicola had access to when an employee. She smiled and waved Cal over.

“I need you to take me somewhere.”

“Sure thing, Miss Nicola.”

He nodded at her and then started to leave the room. Nicola’s heart raced. The drive to the hospital wasn’t long and she didn’t tell him not to tell Abagail. If she made a deal out of it, then he’d likely tell Abagail anyway. His loyalties were definitely to his boss and not to the woman who was only going to be living there for a few weeks. Paid as a sex puppet.

God, she hated the feeling that had settled into her belly.

Surely it’d go away eventually, wouldn’t it?

As soon as Nicola got to the hospital, she raced to Information to figure out exactly where Alanna was. They took her back to the small area where Alanna was. She was hooked up to an IV already and her body was still, which meant that they likely had the seizure under control—at least Nicola hoped that was the case. But her sister wasn’t moving at all, and she definitely wasn’t awake.

The next few hours flew by and dragged on. Nicola tried to process all of the information that she could. Alanna was still having a seizure. They’d just given her medication to make it look like it had stopped. Nurses were in and out constantly, doctors every once in a while, but more frequently than Nicola had seen any other time when Alanna had been hospitalized.

Once they did finally get the seizure to stop, they admitted her and moved her to an entirely different floor and room. Nicola’s head spun from all the information she’d been given in the last few hours. Some of it had been given and then taken back as plans changed. And she’d completely forgotten all about Alanna’s binder of medical information that was sitting in the backseat of her car that she didn’t have.

She really needed to get her fucking car back.

Nicola turned sharply when she saw Alanna’s eyelids fluttering open just as the sun breached the sky. She grinned as she leaned closer onto the bed and snagged Alanna’s stiff and permanently clenched hand in her own. Alanna moaned lightly, clearly struggling to get her eyes open, but Nicola was never happier to see this kind of life from her sister.

She waited patiently until Alanna started to move her mouth slightly, her tongue peeking out to wet her lips and her breathing increasing from the regular pattern she’d found in sleep. “W-where am I?” Alanna croaked.

“Hospital,” Nicola answered, finally squeezing her sister’s fingers. “You had a nasty seizure so they ended up transporting you here.”

Alanna hummed her response, closing her eyes again as she seemed to relax. “Time?”

“It’s like six in the morning.”

Alanna didn’t have to say anything else as she processed that information. Nicola knew she was working through it in her head, figuring out what had happened and just how bad it was. Her sister might be halfway paralyzed, physically damaged from the car accident, but she’d never been stupid. And the number of nurses, doctors, and staff that the two of them had run into over the years who didn’t understand that was astronomical.

“How long will I be here?” Alanna said finally, her voice far stronger than it had been before.

Nicola breathed in deeply. “Now that you’re awake, they can work on telling us that. My guess is a day or two at least.”

Alanna hummed again. “Your new job.”

“Is fine, I promise. I still have it.” Nicola hoped she did anyway. Especially when she wasn’t going to be around much in the next few days.

“Go to work if you need to.”

Nicola shook her head, her eyes watering. “No, I’m not due in today. Tomorrow.”

The lie was so easy as it fell from her lips, but she couldn’t have her sister thinking that she was the cause of all of this. She wasn’t. It was the fault of some drunk who had decided to get behind the wheel. Nicola pushed that thought and anger deep down inside her. She didn’t need it to surface right now. What she needed was to focus on Alanna and her recovery.

And fuck, she hated how easy it was becoming to lie lately.

She squeezed Alanna’s hand and smiled at her. “The nurses said to call them when you woke up, but I thought you might like a few seconds before the flock descends.”

Alanna barked a laugh, the sound dry and raspy in her throat. “Thanks. I wouldn’t mind a few more minutes.”

Nicola nodded and held her sister’s hand tightly. She would give up the whole world to make sure that her sister was happy and healthy. Nothing else mattered.

ten

“Where is she?” Abagail asked Cal, the phone pressed to her ear. She’d fallen asleep waiting for Nicola to come back the night before, thinking that when she saw the notification that Cal was back that Nicola had also returned.

This morning proved that to be a false assumption.

“She’s not home?” Cal asked right back. It was his day off, and Abagail hated calling him while he was at home, but she really needed to know where Nicola had gotten off to.

“No.” Abagail crossed her arms, looking at the fridge where her personal chef had left her meals for the weekend.

“Then I don’t know where she is.” Abagail could have strangled the man. He was so private, but his loyalty should be to her and not to Nicola.

Abagail sighed heavily. “Fine. But if she’s not back on Monday, I’ll know who to blame.”

She knew that was overstepping, but she was incredibly frustrated. And Cal had been working for her for nearly a decade at this point, he knew what to expect when it came to her. Abagail brushed her fingers over the back of her head and glared at the fridge. She wasn’t even a little hungry.

This wasn’t the kind of drama she wanted in her life. Drama tended to follow young people around like a shadow—then again, there were some middle aged and older people who also suffered from the same problem. Abagail sipped her coffee in the middle of the kitchen, her shoulders tense and her face pinched up tightly.

She wasn’t ready for today, and Nicola being gone without a trace right now wasn’t helping the nerves that were already raging through her body. Elia had texted that she’d left the school already. Which meant that Abagail was going to be stuck waiting for the text or the knock on the door that she was here. Which should be any time now. And that long wait had been anything but pleasant.

Still, Abagail knew they needed to have a talk.

She’d seriously fucked everything up, and it was time she started to put the pieces back together. She scoffed at herself. Perhaps she wasn’t entirely without drama of her own either. Unfortunately, Abagail had no one to talk to except for Elia. Somewhere along the way, she’d lost all her other friends as they’d moved into mere acquaintances.

The bustle around the house told her immediately that Elia was there. Abagail set her coffee onto the steel counter in the kitchen. She was going to have to face her mistakes now, she was going to have to grovel and make it clear that she supported Elia and Kamryn. She sneered slightly at the name. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Kam, but she was not happy about the two of them being together. And she was going to have to cover up as much of her disgust at the two of them together as she could so that they could get through today and maybe still be friends tomorrow.

Sighing heavily, Abagail shook out her hands at her sides and started toward the main sitting room that Elia and she always loved, the one with walls lined with bookshelves and sunlight that poured in during the early morning hours.

She had to get her ass in gear now.

She had to move.

Abagail stepped out of the kitchen, her shoulders square, her chin high, and her entire body ready for battle. When she saw Elia standing by the front door, pulling her wool jacket off, her heart skipped a few beats. She’d loved Elia for years, but she’d never dared to think that maybe Elia would love her back—not in that way.

“Morning,” Elia said, her lips pulling into a tight smile. The gray hairs around her temples were more prominent than they had been when they’d seen each other at Christmas, and Abagail had only fucked it up even more at New Year’s when she’d gotten drunk and full-on confessed all her love.

“Morning,” Abagail said tersely.

Normally, she’d reach in and give Elia a half hug, maybe even kiss her cheek. But today she kept her distance, and her skin tingled from the lack of contact between the two of them. With her things stowed, Abagail led the way to the library and sat down in one of the lounging chairs there. Elia took the one immediately opposite her.

The silence was so damn loud.

Abagail had no clue where to even start this conversation. She was honestly surprised that Elia had even agreed to meet with her, especially so quickly. Maybe not all hope was lost that their friendship could be saved. But it had been nearly five months since they’d seen each other last, and that didn’t add any hope to Abagail’s already slim store of it.

They had coffee brought to them, with small bits of muffin and fruit on the tray as well. Abagail’s stomach was swimming with nerves and she was fairly certain she wouldn’t be able to eat anything. Even the coffee tried to churn her stomach. Elia, however, seemed to be perfectly calm.

Damn her for always being able to control her bigger emotions.

Abagail envied that. She was always the one who was prone to snapping and yelling. Elia, however, was the picture of perfection—always reacting exactly like she was supposed to.

“We do need to actually talk for this to be resolved,” Elia said, her voice carrying through the room before she swallowed a sip of her coffee. Her lips pressed together hard, and Abagail followed the line of Elia’s throat as it moved while she drank.

“Yes, we do.” Abagail mimicked Elia’s pose and forced herself to drink as well. This was going to be a long morning. She could already tell that.

“I’m with Kam.”

“I know.” Abagail set the cup onto the table, crossing her legs and pointing her toes into the floor as her entire body tensed. “I have no issues with Kam.”

Elia hummed, and Abagail knew instantly that Elia didn’t believe her. None of this had started until Kam had shown up on the scene, but Kam was the catalyst for all of this. Still, Abagail’s frustration and feelings weren’t centered on Kam herself, more the space that Elia willingly let her occupy.

“How long?” Elia asked, her voice carrying through the room. Her pale blue eyes locked on Abagail’s, and as much as Abagail would like to avoid that question, she knew she couldn’t.

In order to fix all of this she had to do the one thing that she hadn’t done in decades. She had to be honest—not only with herself, but with Elia. And everything needed to be out in the open for them to navigate the steps that would come next.

“Since we graduated college.”

“Abagail.” Elia sighed heavily, shock registering in her eyes as she set her own coffee down and shook her head. “Really?”

Abagail nodded. “I didn’t understand it until Yara, and watching you go through the pain of that breakup and the pain of all the drama afterward. I was there for you every step of the way, but you weren’t ready for a relationship then.”

“No, I wasn’t,” Elia agreed and shook her head. “I wasn’t ready for a relationship of those levels until recently.”

Abagail bit the inside of her cheek. She was fairly certain that had far more to do with Kam than anything else. Elia never would have been ready for another deep and trusting relationship if she wasn’t pushed into it. And as pushy as Abagail was, when it came to relationships, she often took the backseat to whatever her lover wanted. That was something that Elia wouldn’t ever understand.

Her heart thrummed along with the nerves in her body. Abagail glanced toward the door to the room, thinking for a brief moment that she caught sight of Nicola walking past, but she hadn’t. She was seeing things now. Shaking that image out of her mind, the one of Nicola flouncing around in that miniskirt and white tank top with her nipple clamps on, Abagail determined herself to focus on Elia, and this problem that she maybe had a hope of resolving.

“If I wanted to attempt a relationship with you, I should have tried years ago.” Abagail traced the pattern on the arm of the chair with one finger, focusing on it instead of looking at Elia. “It was wrong of me to attempt now.”

Elia hummed again, agreement this time. “It was.”

“I’m sorry for that.” Abagail’s shoulders hurt from just how tense they were. She hated that it felt like this to be around her best friend. She just wanted to feel like they had last year, when they could laugh together and enjoy each other’s company. When Elia came to her with secrets and frustrations and in need of encouragement.

Would they ever get back to that?

Abagail’s cynicism wanted to tell her no.

But Elia made her want to believe that, yes, they could get back to where they’d once been as friends.

“Should we start with Thanksgiving?” Abagail asked, smoothing her hands over her thighs and really wishing that Nicola was there to propel this conversation into a different direction entirely.

“Sure.” Elia sipped her coffee again. The tension lines were riding in her face, and Abagail knew she’d done more damage than she’d intended. But it was done. And now all she had to do was not repeat stupid mistakes and actually take the time to make up for where she’d fallen down.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you.” Abagail’s stomach churned. She’d thought that it would make Elia see what it was like, that there was potential between them. “I thought it would show you how much I love you.”

“I know you love me,” Elia said flatly. “We’re best friends.”

The present tense flared that hope in Abagail’s chest again. She really needed to stop doing that if this was never actually going to happen. If Elia was going to leave her just like everyone else did. Abagail cringed. That was the problem right there, wasn’t it?

“I think I mixed up deep love and adoration for who you are and our relationship with love.”

“That’s unlike you.” Elia’s lips pressed together again, lines forming around the edges of her mouth. “You’re not someone who makes deep commitments.”

“You’re not right about that.” Abagail lifted her chin a little higher and locked her eyes on Elia. “I only make deep commitments to people who are worthy of it. Like you.”

Elia nodded slightly. “I stand corrected.”

The tension in the room was intense, and it was fraught with anxiety and pain that neither one of them were willing to acknowledge. Stick two people in a room who avoid and this is what you get. Abagail sighed heavily, relaxing her entire body.

“I make it no secret that I’m an ass, Elia. I’ve told you that for years.”

“Yes, but you’ve never been an ass to me…before.” Elia chuckled lightly.

“Right, but I was, many times in the last six months or so.” Abagail rubbed her hands together nervously. “And I’m sorry for that. You’re my only friend, and I don’t want to lose you because I’m the problem and an asshole.”

Elia hummed in that way she often did when she was serious and shook her head slowly. “I wouldn’t be here if I wanted to lose you.”

The tension snapped. Abagail’s eyes watered and she blinked hard to try and prevent them from falling down her cheeks in full blown tears. Why hadn’t she thought of that? Elia never did anything that wasn’t purposeful, and she’d bided her time trying to wait and figure out where Abagail stood before calling her and insisting on this meeting.

Elia didn’t want to lose her either.

“Right.” Abagail sniffed a little, glancing up at the doorway, swearing once again that she saw Nicola flounce her way through it. But it was all in her head. She blew out a breath like she was blowing through a straw and picked up her coffee. “Well, I’m glad that’s settled.”

“Settled?” Elia laughed fully. “Oh no, this is just beginning.”

“Perfect,” Abagail mumbled into her cup before taking a sip. Just what she wanted, to spend hours upon hours trying to sort out her feelings and emotions just to share them with Elia so that she didn’t lose the only person in her life who had stuck by her side through thick and thin.

“Do you truly believe that you mistook deep love for a friend for romantic love?”

Abagail shrugged slightly. “It’s not like I have a whole lot of experience with romantic love.”

Elia canted her head to the side. “I just assumed you were aromantic.”

“What?” Abagail’s face pinched. “What the hell is that?”

“You’re not romantically attracted to people.”

“I have sex all the time. Probably more sex than you.” Abagail scrunched her nose, the memory of Nicola on her lap last night with the nipple clamps on already working to get her body ready for sex. She’d love another dose of that right about now. It’d be a great distraction from whatever the hell this was.

“I didn’t say sexually attracted.” Elia had that tone of voice like she was teaching a lesson to a student for the millionth time, a student who just couldn’t understand the concept. “I said romantically attracted. You don’t do romance, you never have. I can’t remember a time when you actually had a girlfriend, like a committed relationship with someone.”

Abagail’s brow furrowed. She also couldn’t remember a relationship she’d had that would fall into that category. It was why she’d taken to pursuing only short term relationships, typically with younger women, since they weren’t looking for long term commitment from her.

“Have you never thought about it like that?” Elia asked, settling her cup onto her knee.

“No.” Abagail shook her head and then shrugged after a few more seconds. “I just accepted that this is who I am and never really questioned it.”

Elia hummed acknowledgement. “That’s a privilege you’ve had, for certain. Your parents didn’t ever push you into a relationship like many others, and then they died fairly early so you didn’t have to worry about it. You have other passions that you’ve focused on, and you’ve been free and financially able to pursue them.”

Why did that sound like she was the most privileged person on the planet coming out of Elia’s mouth? It didn’t sit well with Abagail either. There was shame there, and she didn’t like it.

“I’m not sorry for who I am.”

“Nor should you be.” Elia looked at her directly. “I didn’t mean for you to be, just to recognize the privilege you’ve had. Many don’t.”

“You have it.”

“I do,” Elia agreed. “I’ve had a lot of privileges. Have you really not ever considered that you might be aromantic before though?”

Abagail shook her head slowly, that thought still settling in her body. But it wasn’t settling at all. “I don’t pay much attention to labels, you know that.”

Elia set her cup down. “I know you don’t. I have a book that you can read about it.”

“A book?” Abagail raised an eyebrow at her. “You have a book for everything, don’t you?”

Laughing, Elia waved her hand around the room. “Says the woman with a library most can only dream of having. And I’m an English teacher, of course I have a book. Do you want it or not?”

“Yes,” Abagail snapped quickly. She did want to see whatever this magic book said about her. Maybe she didn’t line up at all with what Elia was explaining. Or perhaps it was her to a T.

Elia whipped out her phone and airdropped Abagail’s phone with a link. “There. All yours. Let me know what you think.”

“Right.” Abagail stared down at the book and paused. It was going to take her a while to want to read that. First she needed to figure out exactly what Elia’s revelation meant for her. Because her world was off its axis right now. “I’m still sorry about November.”

“I know you are,” Elia answered. “And for the record, Abagail, I forgive you for what you did.”

Abagail melted. That was exactly what she’d needed to hear. That ten times over and more. “I do love you.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love you,” Elia responded with her lips quirking upward slightly. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Never,” Abagail agreed. “Friendships are gold.”

eleven

“And where have you been?”

Nicola froze. Abagail was sitting on the lounge chair in the middle of the library, ankle over her knee, reading glasses on, and a very pointed and semi-angry look on her face.

“Out,” Nicola answered, her toes curling in her shoes. “Which, we really should talk about the fact that I need my car back.”

Abagail jerked her head to the side. “It’s not fixed yet.”

“Yeah, but I need it back.” Nicola wasn’t going to back down on this one. She needed that binder with all of Alanna’s medical information in it.

“It’s at the mechanic.” Abagail pressed her lips into a thin line, her gaze narrowing. “What do you need it for? Cal can take you where you need to go.”

Nicola shook her head, her hair moving around her ears. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” Abagail continued her stare.

Nicola knew that Abagail was looking for some kind of answer that she couldn’t give. She’d spent the last nearly twenty-four hours at the hospital, and she’d only left when her stomach was rumbling so loudly that Alanna had kicked her out to go get dinner, reassuring her that she would be fine while Nicola was away. She planned to go back in the morning to be there while Alanna was transported back to the rehabilitation facility. She’d narrowly escaped Aunt Simone coming out to visit, but the stay wasn’t long enough for that.

“I just need my car.”

“You were fine with the mechanic fixing it.” Abagail closed the book that she was reading and set it on the table next to her. “So what changed?”

“I’m still fine with the mechanic fixing it.” That wasn’t the issue. In fact, it was something super helpful that Nicola would be eternally grateful for. If her car could last her a few more years, then she would take it.

“Then what are you not okay with?”

“I need my stuff from the car.” Nicola bit the inside of her cheek. She didn’t want to tell Abagail too much. They didn’t have that kind of relationship. She wanted to make sure to keep the lines between business and pleasure separate. Even if the business was all about pleasure. “That’s it.”

Abagail narrowed her eyes even more, as if not believing her. “Where have you been all day?”

Nicola froze. She couldn’t tell Abagail where she’d been. And it was clear that Cal hadn’t told her where he’d dropped her off the night before either. So it didn’t really matter in the long run, did it? Nicola clenched her fists at her back and then loosened them. This was the time for acting, and she’d have to put on the show of her life.

“I’ve been out.” Nicola plastered on the smile of a lifetime as she sashayed her way into the library. She’d barely explored the house, and this was a new room, but it was damn gorgeous. Dark woods, high bookshelves—ladder included—and lighting that made the whole thing shine even though it was dark outside. “If you remember, our arrangement isn’t about personal things. It’s about the sexual.” Nicola purposely dropped her tone, sliding it into the seduction level and leaving the flirting out of it. “That’s what we agreed on.”

“We did,” Abagail agreed, leaning back into her seat and roving her gaze all over Nicola’s body. “And yet, you were gone all day without telling me where you went.”

“You’re not in control of me, Abagail.” Nicola slid onto Abagail’s lap, straddling her in the chair. She took a deep breath and slowed her racing heart. Bending down, Nicola pressed her lips against Abagail’s ear. She delicately traced the outer edge of Abagail’s earlobe. “So I need my car back, so that I have my freedom.”

Abagail’s breath hitched.

“I can come and go as I please.” Nicola nipped the bottom of Abagail’s earlobe, sucking the stud earring into her mouth and flicking her tongue around it before letting it go. “And you can’t do a damn thing about it.”

When Abagail’s hands moved to Nicola’s hips and then her ass, Nicola knew that she was very close to having her be putty in her hands. That’s all this was about, right? Nothing more, nothing less. Abagail would fill Nicola’s bank account, and when they were done with each other, they would walk away without heartache. It was exactly what Nicola needed right now.

“Where were you today?” Abagail asked again, sliding her hands up the backs of Nicola’s thighs to her ass. Abagail squeezed and then started to massage. Nicola held back her moan, but she rocked her hips against Abagail’s thighs. She could just as easily grind herself to coming on top of Abagail if that was how tonight ended up. But she wasn’t going to go another night without an orgasm.

That’s what she was paid for, wasn’t it?

Nicola moved her lips—not kissing, just tracing—across Abagail’s jawline from her ear to her chin and to the other ear. “It’s not relevant.”

“It is.” Abagail’s hands moved up Nicola’s back under her shirt and enjoyed the fabric against her skin. Abagail was struggling to keep her hands to herself.

It was exactly what Nicola was looking for. She dropped her hips down so she was planted right against Abagail and started a slow and steady grind. The pressure, the friction, the slide of her underwear against her clit and folds was exactly what she’d needed. If she could do this, she could forget the trauma and chaos of the last twenty-four hours, and she could more easily slide back into life. Right? Wasn’t that all this was going to take?

Abagail reached Nicola’s bra strap, deftly pinching it and unhooking it in one swift move. She slid her hands around Nicola’s front, cupping and massaging her breasts. She flicked her thumbs over Nicola’s nipples, teasing them into sharp little peaks.

“What? No nipple clamps this time?”

Nicola barked out a laugh that almost immediately turned into a deep moan. She bent down, trailing her lips across Abagail’s neck from one side to the other. She scraped her teeth against the cord of muscle, continuing to grind herself and focused entirely on the pleasure that she was giving herself.

“Are you going to make me come?” Nicola’s voice was husky and full of command and arousal.

“I think you’re well on your way by yourself, don’t you?”

Nicola hummed, but it turned into a moan of pleasure immediately. She gasped as Abagail pinched her nipples and twisted. God, that was so much better than fucking nipple clamps. She wrapped her arm behind Abagail’s neck and held on as she writhed on top of Abagail’s lap.

“So fucking close already,” Nicola managed to make the words out.

“Then by all means, don’t stop.” Abagail sounded entertained now. Nicola ignored it, but only because she was so close to her first orgasm of the night. And yes, she was bound and determined that this was going to be her first. She just had to decide how many Abagail was going to have. “Come for me, Nicola.”

Those simple words were more than Nicola had expected. Her body exploded with pleasure. It washed through her, consuming her. She curled her body around Abagail’s, holding onto her and kissing her neck, then her jaw. Nicola needed skin to skin. She needed to feel Abagail against her. It’d be so much better that way.

“This isn’t the way I expected you to greet me tonight,” Abagail murmured into Nicola’s ear.

“It’s not?” Nicola asked, breathy from the aftermath of the orgasm.

“I expect you to tell me when you leave the house, where you’re going, and when you’ll be returning.” Abagail moved her hand away, and then she came back down, slapping Nicola hard on the ass.

Nicola squeaked. She closed her eyes, holding in a groan and pressing her nose to Abagail’s neck. Fuck, that had felt good. She really wanted Abagail to do that again. She scraped her teeth along Abagail’s neck.

“I’m not going to tell you not to leave, but it’s respectful to let me know where you are.” Abagail spanked her again.

Gasping, Nicola pressed her crotch back down onto Abagail’s thighs. She didn’t want to get up and move. She wanted to grind herself into a second orgasm right there without waiting for Abagail’s go ahead. She needed this more than she’d known.

“Noted,” Nicola answered, but she still wasn’t going to give in to Abagail’s demands. They were out of line. “But just remember, Abagail, we’re not dating.”

Abagail grunted before lifting her hand and spanking Nicola a third time. “How could I forget? I don’t date.”

There was a bitterness in Abagail’s tone that seemed out of place. Nicola was about to ask her to explain it, but Abagail was back to spanking her. Nicola bit Abagail’s neck, sucking and nipping and biting hard. Abagail groaned and wiggled underneath her.

“Where’s the fucking strap when I need it?” Nicola muttered against Abagail’s skin. “I want to ride you into oblivion.”

“I think you did that already.” Abagail smoothed her hands around to Nicola’s front, pulling at the button and zipper on her pants.

The skirt would have been a much better idea than this. But there was no way she was going to wear that to the hospital. Nicola wrapped her fingers around Abagail’s wrist and pushed Abagail’s hand in between the fabric and her body.

“Fuck me, Abagail.”

Abagail said nothing in response. But she slid one, and then two, and then three fingers inside Nicola. This was better than the strap. Nicola rocked into Abagail’s hand, holding herself up a little to make the position and the sensations all that much better.

With her free hand, Abagail reached for Nicola’s shirt. She grasped it tightly and pulled hard so that Nicola fell forward into her. Their lips connected. They kissed for the first time that day, hungrily, desperately, heatedly. Their mouths melded together as Nicola continued to fuck herself on Abagail’s hand, using her body exactly like she’d wanted to, exactly like she needed to.

Abagail stole her breath, in more ways than one. Nicola had never met a woman who was so unashamed about sex, someone who knew what they wanted and worked hard to get exactly that. Abagail didn’t seem ashamed about anything in her life. Perhaps that’s why she always stood out at family events. She was exactly who she wanted to be and nothing else, and she didn’t apologize for that. Nicola could stand to learn a good dose of that.

She nipped at Abagail’s lower lip, pulling it tight into her mouth and pressing her teeth down harder than she probably needed to. But the resounding groan and tightening of Abagail’s hand in her shirt was enough response that Nicola knew her actions were appreciated.

Nicola groaned, the tingles of pleasure pooling between her legs again. It shot like lightning through her body, careening together to build and build. She sucked in a sharp breath, her hair raising on the back of her neck as she pressed down onto Abagail’s fingers and came hard. Grunting, Nicola slowed her movements. Abagail kept her grip on her firm, holding her in place enough that she wouldn’t fall away.

Burying her face in Abagail’s neck, Nicola waited for her brain to come back to her body. She enjoyed the sweet caresses from Abagail, the way they helped her to come down from the high that she’d just ridden.

“Lick them,” Nicola muttered into Abagail’s neck.

“What?” Abagail asked.

“Lick them,” Nicola repeated, not wanting to give any more direction than that. She continued to slow her breathing as she made a plan for exactly what was going to happen. This was an arrangement they’d made.

Sex for money.

It was never anything more than that, and Nicola couldn’t fool herself. She was here to get money so she could pay for Alanna’s rehabilitation room, and now her impending hospital bills. Abagail didn’t need to know anything about that. This wasn’t personal.

“Lick. Them.” Nicola said it again, making her voice far harsher than it was before. “Or I’m going to spank you.”

Abagail chuckled, her chest reverberating from the sound. “I like the sound of that.”

Nicola sat back on her haunches, staring down at Abagail as she still straddled her. Was this another test? Was this another way that Abagail was trying to entice her into being the sexual partner that she wanted? Was this all fun and games and nothing more?

Yes.

That’s exactly what it was.

Seriously, Nicola had to stop straying from that understanding. Lifting her lips up into a smile, Nicola slowly moved to stand. She clenched her jaw as she stood at her full height and pointed to Abagail’s fingers.

“I told you to lick them.”

“Make me.” Abagail’s eyes glittered with amusement. That was exactly what Abagail was looking for. She wanted Nicola to force her to do it, wanting Nicola to have all of the power in this part of their relationship.

Reaching down abruptly, Nicola snagged Abagail’s wrist and twisted it hard. Abagail grunted, first in pain but quickly changing into a moan of pleasure. Nicola made eye contact before she pushed Abagail’s fingers against her lips.

Abagail obliged this time, opening her mouth and sliding her fingers inside. She hummed, her eyes fluttering shut. Her tongue peeked out as she licked all the juices off her fingers, in between each of them, and then when she opened her eyes again, she stared directly at Nicola.

“What’s my punishment, Pet?”

Pet?

Why did that send such a thrill through her? Nicola still held Abagail’s wrist in her hand. Her heart raced. She hadn’t planned on this kind of relationship. She hadn’t expected it to happen. Nicola said nothing as she jerked her body hard and pulled Abagail to a standing position. She walked directly to the bookcase and pushed Abagail against it so that she was nose deep in the books.

Roughly, Nicola undid the belt at Abagail’s waist and held it in her hand as she undid her pants and pulled them down to her knees. Abagail’s ass was creamy and smooth. She fluttered her fingers over her gently.

“You’ll do what I tell you to,” Nicola said, continuing her hand’s gentle perusal of Abagail’s rear. “I’m tired of you talking back to me.”

Abagail chuckled. “I’m not very good at listening to demanding women.”

“Oh, we’ll fix that real quick.” Even though Nicola said it, she wished it wasn’t true. She wanted this teasing between them to last as long as possible. “How hard can you handle it?” Nicola pinched Abagail’s ass lightly, more a tease than anything.

Abagail pushed her butt back toward Nicola. “As hard as you want, Nicola.”

Oh that whine in the back of her tone. It turned Nicola on even more.

“Brace yourself. And tell me when it’s too much.” She waited for Abagail to move.

Surprisingly, Abagail stripped out of her clothes, dropping them to the floor. Nicola watched with rapt anticipation as each item found its way to the floor and left her body. Freckles littered Abagail’s back, mostly on her shoulders and lightening by the time they reached her waist, but increasing again at the top of her ass.

Nicola was loving this side of her.

“Tell me when it’s too much, Abagail.” Nicola squeezed Abagail’s ass hard. “Do you understand?”

“Yesssss…” Abagail hissed the word. Her fingers gripped the edges of the bookcase. She glanced over her shoulder. “What else do you need?”

“Nothing.” Nicola’s lips quirked upward. “Just stand still.”

Her hand came down hard, the crack echoing through the room loudly. It was followed by Abagail’s moan and her ass pushing back toward Nicola.

“Do you like that?” Nicola asked, leaning in to trace Abagail’s ear with her tongue. She nipped on Abagail’s earlobe and then sucked hard.

“Yessss…” Abagail whispered. “Again.”

“Hmm, careful now or I’ll think it’s less punishment and more erotic.”

The resounding chuckle was exactly what Nicola wanted to hear.

“Ever come just from being spanked?” Nicola thwacked her again.

“Yes.” Abagail’s answer was breathy. “But it took a long time.”

“I’m not sure I’m patient enough for that.” Nicola spanked her again, clenching her other hand around Abagail’s belt. She’d wanted to use it, but she wasn’t entirely sure if she was going to tie Abagail up or use it as a whip.

“Thank God,” Abagail mumbled through another groan. “But I am getting closer.”

Nicola chuckled. “Mind if I check? Just to be sure.”

Abagail shook her head and spread her legs even more. It was a bit odd, with the door to the library wide open, to have Abagail spread-eagled in front of her, but maybe it wasn’t weird in this house. Maybe this was just normal. Finding pleasure in another person without restraint and without shame.

Nicola trailed her fingertips down Abagail’s spine and over the curve of her ass. She didn’t tease, but instead inserted two fingers deep inside Abagail. She was soaked, her juices sliding down Nicola’s finger already as if she’d come. Nicola leaned in, nipping at Abagail’s shoulder and scraping her teeth down along the first part of the path that her fingers had taken.

“You’re wet,” Nicola stated confidently. “Is that for me? Or you?”

Abagail gasped, but she didn’t answer. Perhaps that was too sensitive a question to ask.

Nicola removed her fingers and glanced down at the belt. “I’m going to tie you up and fuck you hard.”

Abagail groaned, listing backward into Nicola’s body. “Yesss…”

“And next time when I tell you to lick them, you’ll listen the first time.”

“Yes,” Abagail answered, though Nicola wasn’t confident that would actually happen.

She spun Abagail around, pressing Abagail’s back into the shelves. She pressed her fingers against Abagail’s lips and looked at her curiously. “So lick them.”

Without hesitation, Abagail opened her mouth and took Nicola’s wet fingers between her lips. The rough part of her tongue pressed against the pads of Nicola’s fingers, the warmth of her mouth and the sucking that Abagail immediately started made Nicola shiver. Their gazes remained locked as Abagail sucked her hard. God, to have that mouth doing this between Nicola’s legs. She could almost close her eyes and feel the sensations, if she let her imagination run away with her.

Nicola crossed Abagail’s hands and immediately wrapped the belt around her wrists. She tightened it, making sure that the leather creaked before she released. For good measure, she reached up and pinched Abagail’s nipples quickly before spinning her back around and pushing her against the bookcase.

She couldn’t tempt herself too much, otherwise she’d end up on her knees with her face buried in Abagail’s cunt. She almost put Abagail’s hands behind her back, but she’d wanted Abagail to be able to hold herself up through this. Because it was going to be fast, and it was going to be hard.

With her still damp fingers, Nicola thrust them into Abagail again. Abagail moaned, her eyes clenching shut. Nicola didn’t give her a second to breathe as she swung her free hand down and planted it sharply against Abagail’s ass. The resounding grunt followed quickly by a gush of wetness against her fingers was exactly what she was looking for.

Abagail breathed in sharply, spreading her legs and widening her stance even more. This would be so much better if Nicola had a strap and could properly fuck her, but she didn’t want to waste the time to go upstairs and retrieve it. They both needed this now. She needed to forget about the chaos of the last day, and she needed to make sure that Abagail was satisfied, that Nicola was upholding her end of their verbal contract.

Because she needed that money.

“Come for me,” Nicola demanded, spanking Abagail again. “Come for me hard.”

They continued, Nicola demanding and Abagail taking. Her fingers tingled from the number of times she’d spanked Abagail’s ass, but she wasn’t going to give in. Not until Abagail clenched against her, consumed her. Sweat trailed down Abagail’s back, beading as Nicola thrust and spanked again simultaneously.

And that was it.

Abagail’s knees gave out and she collapsed in a heap on the floor. Her jaw was clenched tight, her cheeks red. Nicola nearly froze, but she moved swiftly, cradling Abagail’s cheeks with her fingers and pressing their mouths together. Abagail kissed her dazedly, her tied wrists lifting up to press against Nicola’s belly.

“That was amazing,” Abagail whispered against Nicola’s lips before her head plopped back against the books. “Amazing,” she repeated slowly.

Nicola smiled, moving fully down to her knees. She tenderly slipped her hands against Abagail’s skin and soothed her, letting her calm down as her body returned to some semblance of normal. She didn’t watch the time, but she was fairly certain it took at least thirty minutes before Abagail started to move a little more normally.

Shaking her head, Abagail looked at her directly and held her wrists up.

Nicola was about to undo the tie when Abagail shook her head once. “Again.”

twelve

It was quieter today, right?

It definitely seemed quieter.

Abagail narrowed her gaze as she looked through the glass wall that blocked off her office from the rest of her team. She could see Ivy Villegas sitting at her desk and talking animatedly on her phone across the hallway.

Was Abagail the only one not really working that day?

She was a staunch perfectionist about making every minute in the office count toward work, but today she was staring at her personal bank accounts and the numbers on her phone that Nicola had texted her. It was time for her first payment.

And it churned her stomach.

Last night had been some of the best sex that Abagail had ever had. Nicola had taken her up from the library to the guest bedroom where Nicola was staying for now, and she’d thoroughly fucked Abagail until she’d fallen asleep face down into a pillow. Her entire body had protested getting out of bed in the morning. But Abagail had known simply that the sooner she moved, the better it’d be in the long run for her body.

Though sitting in her chair on her brutally spanked ass was still difficult halfway through the day. It was a sweet reminder of what she and Nicola had shared the night before, and it left a smile on her lips. Abagail focused back on the computer and inputting the account number and routing number to Nicola’s bank account.

She’d never paid anyone to spend time with her before, and it felt… dirty.

Still, Abagail had made a promise, so she transferred the money and set herself to be done with it entirely. Maybe if she didn’t think about it, then it’d be fine for her in the long run. Especially if Nicola planned another night like last night in the near future.

The phone on her desk rang, and Abagail picked it up instantly. “What?”

“A Warren Kerrbox is here to see you?” Her secretary was sweet as ever, always wanting to make sure that whoever was there was actually supposed to be there.

Warren, however, wasn’t on Abagail’s planned schedule for the day.

But he was her nephew. She couldn’t even remember the last time he’d come to her office to visit her, actually. Had he ever?

“Ms. Kerr?”

“Yes, send him right in.” Abagail hung up the phone. She’d changed her last name unofficially solely for business purposes. It added separation. Though she wasn’t sure how many of her staff actually knew that about her. She worked hard to keep her personal and private as separate as possible.

Warren looked around like a lost puppy while her secretary showed him the way to Abagail’s office. Thank God, because if he’d been left to wander the room, he’d probably head off in the wrong direction entirely.

“Here she is.” Her secretary’s voice was smooth and pleasant like it always was.

“Aunt Abagail!” Warren seemed almost relieved that he had finally found her.

Abagail gave him a patented small smile before flicking her gaze to Ivy, who was curiously looking at the understated commotion in Abagail’s office. She was curious, and Abagail really didn’t want to have to explain who Warren was to anyone.

“Warren.” Abagail stood up, her ass screaming at her as she came around her desk and leaned against the front of it. Any time she was in a conversation with Warren, she wanted to make sure that she had the upper hand. He was petulant and entitled and that always put her on the defensive. So why not just get there now?

“I wanted to talk to you about Nicola.”

Abagail tensed. He didn’t know, did he? Nicola hadn’t told him, surely. Abagail’s heart raced. Then again, the entire point that first night had been for Nicola to get revenge on Warren, so maybe Nicola had told him. Abagail crossed her arms and set her jaw. She nodded toward her secretary to send her on the way. “Shut the door.”

She complied, and then finally she and Warren were left in silence. Abagail wasn’t going to prompt him with anything. This was now a fact-finding mission for her. How much did Warren actually know about what had been going on at Abagail’s house in the last week? Because if he knew that she’d just sent Nicola five thousand dollars for the first week of delicious sex, he would wither and crawl—at least she hoped he would. But in reality, he’d probably scream and yell and make a huge scene.

Which was the last thing that Abagail wanted.

“What about Nicola?” Abagail asked when Warren didn’t continue whatever he was there for.

“Oh, I just…” He flinched. Was he scared of her? Good. He should be. Abagail didn’t want him to think that she was his personal bank account. “Did she bring the ring back?”

Abagail sighed heavily and relaxed slightly. So that’s what this entire conversation was about. He couldn’t even be man enough to deal with the consequences of breaking it off with his fiancée to get the ring back, and left his aunt to deal with cleaning up his mess.

“It’s a family ring, Warren.”

“I know! That’s why I told her she had to bring it back.”

Abagail licked her lips and narrowed her gaze at him. “It’s a family ring,” she stated again, making sure that he understood exactly what she was trying to say. “Which means it’ll stay with me until the right person is going to receive it.”

And that hadn’t even been Estelle. Abagail’s baby brother had asked for the ring to give it to Estelle, but Abagail had refused even then. She’d finally given it to Estelle when she’d begged and told her it wasn’t doing any good sitting in the lockbox. But that was a decision that Abagail thoroughly regretted now.

“Right, but Chaya⁠—”

Abagail was already shaking her head. “You can’t tell me that you think Chaya is the right person. You’ve barely broken up with Nicola and you’re already engaged to someone else. There’s not enough time⁠—”

“Chaya has been part of our family since we were kids, Aunt Abagail. She’s always been there, unlike Nicola. She deserves the ring.”

Abagail bit the inside of her cheek. The entitlement that she’d been up against for decades came right through. She absolutely hated it. Warren had been spoiled from the day he was born, and nothing Abagail had done had been able to put it to rest.

“No,” Abagail said simply. And it wasn’t that she wanted to deny him the pleasure of giving Chaya the ring, it was that none of this felt right. That ring belonged to Nicola, and no matter how hard Abagail tried to get that thought out of her head, it just wouldn’t leave. There was no reason why Nicola should have that ring. None at all.

“Aunt Abagail!” Warren’s voice rose, and it was close to a screech—like he’d suddenly reverted to being five and told no, you can’t have that chocolate before dinner. Which he would have gotten anyway, so perhaps that’s why he still acted like an oversized toddler.

“I told you no.” Abagail sighed heavily, remaining in her position leaned up against the edge of her desk. Over Warren’s shoulder she could see Ivy place the receiver onto the phone and stare at her through the window. Was it that obvious that Warren wasn’t a client? Or that something was amiss? Abagail continued to eye Ivy instead of Warren.

“Chaya deserves that ring.”

“You can make that argument when your relationship with her has lasted more than two months.”

Warren’s face went sheet white and he cringed. She couldn’t deny that pang of guilt that slid through him and covered his gaze. Well, well, well… that certainly explained a whole lot. And it was very clear that Nicola didn’t know about just how much cheating had gone on in that relationship. Perhaps she knew none of it.

Like father like son.

Why did the men in her life feel as though they were entitled to have whatever women they wanted sexually? Only to then toss them away like they were meaningless? How had she and her brother managed to grow up in the same house but with vastly different values?

Abagail uncrossed her arms and gripped the edge of the desk. “According to the majority of the world, you and Chaya only started a relationship in the last few weeks. Which is why this engagement seems so swift. If you’d like to explain to your mom the depth of your infidelity, feel free. If you’d like to explain that to Chaya’s parents, then go ahead. But until I see a reasonable relationship and timeline for one, I’m not going to give you that ring.”

She wasn’t going to budge on this one. Not now. Not until he proved to her that he wasn’t going to fuck this up like he had the last time.

“That ring is my ring! It belongs to me.”

Abagail snorted loudly. “No, Warren. It doesn’t. In fact, it belongs entirely to me, and you were given it in order to propose to your then girlfriend. But you didn’t even have the balls to get it back when you broke it off with her. So you tasked me with the job.” Abagail raised her eyebrows at him. “True or false?”

Warren’s lower lip quivered like he was going to cry.

“Don’t cry, Warren.” Abagail grimaced. “You’re a grown ass adult. Start acting like one.”

Abagail stood up and started to walk around the edge of her desk toward her chair. She was tired of this conversation already. She’d been involved entirely too much in her family’s life lately and she’d had her fill of it.

“If you wanted that ring, then you could have collected it from your ex-fiancée. Since you didn’t and it’s now safe in my possession, that’s where it’ll remain.” She glanced up to find Ivy coming toward her office door. Abagail nodded at her, indicating that she wanted Ivy to come inside. “You need to leave now, Warren. I have work to do.”

“Work?” Warren scoffed right when Ivy opened the door. “You call this work? You’re better than this.” His lowered voice made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

“I’m better than this?” Abagail leaned over the desk and faced him down. She didn’t care if Ivy heard this or not. It was worth it to be said. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a good hard day’s work. Maybe you’d benefit from a few of those instead of letting your mother continue to wipe your ass and clean up your mistakes. Because I’m over it. Grow the fuck up.”

Warren took a staggered step backward.

“Get out or I’ll find security to make sure you can find the door. And Warren, I don’t want to see you in my office again.”

He blanched, his jaw opening and closing several times before he finally turned on his heel in a huff and walked out. The tension in the room instantly dissipated, but as soon as Abagail looked at Ivy, she regretted her decisions.

“My nephew,” Abagail said by way of explaining. She wasn’t used to having to share information with other people. Usually she kept everything very close to her chest. “Entitled prick.”

Ivy laughed lightly. “Remind me to never get on your bad side.”

“Funny,” Abagail answered dryly. “What question did you have?”

“None.” Ivy smiled, her beautiful face transforming into something akin to light. “I thought you could use an assist.”

“Well, thank you.” Abagail plopped down onto her chair and sighed heavily. She hadn’t needed it, but it was a much faster way to get Warren out of her office. “Be sure to do it again if he ever shows back up.”

“You don’t like your nephew?”

“I don’t like entitled asshats, no.” Abagail frowned as she glanced at her computer screen as it came back to life. The bank account she’d just been in was littered with red exclamation points. What was that all about?

“I suppose if he was your kid, he wouldn’t have ended up that way.”

“Certainly not,” Abagail commented. “And he’s the entire reason I never wanted kids of my own.” That was mostly the truth. The other part was just that she couldn’t see herself as a parent—ever. The idea sickened her in a way that was vastly uncomfortable. She’d never dug deeper than that, preferring to avoid the feeling rather than explore it.

“Oh,” Ivy answered. “Well, if he’s your example, then I can understand why.”

Abagail stopped paying attention to her as her cell phone rang. It was the bank. She frowned at it and looked up. “I need to take this, sorry.”

“Right.” Ivy backed her way out of the office and shut the door behind her.

As Abagail listened to the banker, her stomach plummeted.

The account was frozen.

Not hers, but Nicola’s.

She couldn’t imagine that Nicola had given her the wrong account information, and she certainly didn’t believe that Nicola had more than one account that Abagail could potentially deposit funds into. This was everything that Nicola owned. Hanging up, Abagail stared at her computer screen, her mind spinning with all the possibilities and absolutely no answers in sight.

What the hell was going on?

What kind of trouble was Nicola in?

thirteen

“We need to talk.” Abagail slapped some papers down on the kitchen counter, startling Nicola from the bowl of cereal that she was eating.

She’d convinced Cal to take her to the grocery store that day so she could get some junk food to snack on. She still had Abagail’s credit card in her purse, and Abagail hadn’t asked for it back yet. Nicola finished her bite of Fruit Loops and eyed Abagail over the counter, waiting to see what she would say next.

But there seemed to be judgement in her gaze.

“I tried to send you money today.”

Right. That was today. Nicola tensed at just the thought. She needed that money immediately to get the rehabilitation facility off her back. The only reason they hadn’t annoyed her the last few days was because Alanna was still in the hospital, though she was being transferred back tomorrow morning.

“But your account is frozen.”

Nicola’s brow furrowed. It shouldn’t be frozen. She’d left a whole eight pennies in there to make sure that she still had money so it wouldn’t get closed down or anything. She shoved a full spoonful of cereal between her lips and whipped out her phone.

She logged into her account, and sure enough, Abagail was right. Everything was frozen. The savings account that had zero dollars in it, the checking account that was now at a negative balance. What the hell had been taken out that she hadn’t thought about? And the credit card that had maxed out its limit. Fuck, she was so screwed.

“I’ll figure it out,” Nicola muttered before popping another bite of cereal between her lips. This wasn’t anything she hadn’t dealt with before. She could just open up a new bank account to get those funds from Abagail. “I’ll let you know in the morning.”

Abagail’s lips pursed, the lines deep around them. “How am I supposed to pay you for your services if you don’t have an active bank account?”

“There are other ways to pay me,” Nicola mumbled. She’d used those ways many times over the years, different websites to transfer money where she could hold it for a period of time before needing it in a bank account. Abagail was probably too rich to even be aware of them. She’d never need them, or she’d just have someone else do her dirty work for them.

Dirty.

That word rang through Nicola’s brain. She dropped her spoon into her bowl, suddenly losing her appetite. This entire conversation was making her feel dirty. She’d genuinely enjoyed the sex they’d had, and she’d mostly enjoyed the time they’d spent together—conversations like this aside—but that didn’t make what they were doing right, did it?

“What ways?” Abagail asked, coming closer and leaning against the counter, effectively blocking Nicola onto the stool she was sitting at, her side pressed into the marble.

“Different websites.” Nicola shook her head, already distracted by the strength in Abagail’s stance, in the confidence that moved from her into the world around her. Nicola would never have that. “I’ll check into the bank and have a solution for you in the morning.”

Abagail snagged Nicola’s chin, forcing Nicola to turn her head upward and look deep into Abagail’s eyes. Her heart stuttered. Was there more there than simply being annoyed that she couldn’t pay her? Nicola found herself leaning forward. Abagail’s hand dropped from her chin, sliding around the side of her neck to the back of her neck.

Nicola’s heart thudded wildly, the tension in her shoulders almost disappearing as she moved in and captured Abagail’s lips. The kiss wasn’t heated, which surprised her. But it was warm and comforting. Abagail had no idea what was going on in the back of Nicola’s mind, all the worries and stresses that she was facing, but that didn’t mean anything in this moment. Abagail was concerned about her, about how she could be supported. Wasn’t she?

Abagail hummed, pressing in a little deeper. She curled her hand around Nicola’s side and pressed her palm fully against the middle of Nicola’s back and pulled her in so they were closer. Nicola’s eyes fluttered shut as she deepened the kiss.

She wasn’t mistaking this simple attraction for something else, was she?

Abagail had never said anything about feelings being involved or not, but Nicola was damn sure they weren’t supposed to be feeling anything for each other. At least nothing more than mere attraction and perhaps some kind of affection akin to friendship.

Abagail jerked back suddenly. She stepped out of the circle of Nicola’s grasp and reached for the envelopes she’d slapped down onto the counter earlier. Her face was drawn, her eyes narrowed. “I had a visit from Warren today.”

“Really?” Nicola squeaked out the word. “What the hell did he want?”

“The ring.” Abagail flicked her gaze toward Nicola.

“Oh.” Nicola’s heart sank. She’d tried her damnedest not to think about that ring. She still felt the weight of it on her finger sometimes. It wasn’t the ring itself that she didn’t want to be reminded of. It was the fact that Warren was gone, that the relationship they’d spent years building had been ripped out from under her in one brief second and she’d never fully understood why he’d done it. His explanation had been shit, and the reason that Abagail had hated her didn’t quite seem to fit anymore.

“I thought we were doing this for revenge.” Abagail was looking directly at her. “But you haven’t told him.”

No, she hadn’t. She hadn’t found the time to even mention it to Warren, mostly because she’d wanted to avoid him. But there was something sacred about what she and Abagail were doing, and she wanted to keep that for herself. It wasn’t just about revenge anymore—that much had been clear since the morning she’d woken up in Abagail’s house after their first night of romping.

Nicola took her bowl and moved toward the sink to dump what was left into the disposal.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Abagail asked, her tone a lot harsher and more demanding than it had been just minutes ago.

Was it the physical distance that did that?

“I haven’t talked to him.” Nicola rinsed out the bowl and set it in the dishwasher. “That’s why.”

“And the bank account?”

Nicola sighed harshly. “I told you, I’ll fix it or I’ll have an alternative solution to you by the morning.”

“That’s not the point,” Abagail snapped.

“Then what is the point?” Nicola threw her hands out to the side. The uncomfortable feeling that had taken root during that kiss—or rather as soon as it ended—grew even more. She hated it. It didn’t feel right. And that word bounced through her brain again.

Dirty.

This wasn’t right, was it? What they were doing? They should stop it immediately. Nicola ran her sweaty palms over her thighs. This was a bad idea. It had all been a mistake, because now she didn’t feel right about it. She’d been drunk when she’d first fucked Abagail, and to be fair, it wasn’t the fucking that she regretted.

No.

It was this.

Whatever this was.

“The point is that you should have a working bank account. How are you supposed to pay for things if you don’t?” Abagail wouldn’t even look at her.

Nicola’s face pinched in confusion. “This is about my bank account? Jesus. Just write me a check or give me some cash. My bank account isn’t your business.”

Abagail sighed heavily and ran her fingers through her hair, pulling on the ends briefly before she turned on Nicola. Their eyes locked in a battle for control and power. Nicola would never win this one, she knew that. In every scenario that involved the two of them, she would be the one to lose out. And it’d be better for her to accept that now than later.

She was broke.

She had no home.

She was living in Abagail’s house only because she provided sex.

She had no job.

“You have to take care of yourself,” Abagail said with another sigh. “It’s important.”

“I do take care of myself, thank you.” Nicola’s voice was low, almost a growl. She really didn’t want this to turn into a pissing match, but she wasn’t going to let Abagail insult her either. She was fully aware of just how screwed up her life had become since the car accident that ruined every fucking thing possible. She wasn’t the happy-go-lucky girl she used to be.

Nope.

Never again.

Abagail grunted and stared down at the letters in her hand again, but she didn’t look to actually be reading them. “You’re not taking care of yourself.”

“Excuse me?” Nicola said, her voice bursting through the room.

“You’re not.” Abagail looked up at her then. “Where do you live, Nicola?”

“I…” Nicola’s jaw dropped. “What does it even matter to you? I’m not your girlfriend. I’m not your wife. You have no say over where I live or where I don’t live.”

Abagail’s lips thinned impossibly, disappearing into her mouth before they popped back up. “You’re homeless.”

“So what?” Nicola put her hands on her hips, anger rising in her chest and filling every empty space that was there before. “I don’t need a big empty house to satisfy my needs.”

Abagail guffawed, the sound ricocheting through the kitchen and straight into Nicola’s heart. Was she actually laughing at her?

“I don’t have a complex issue,” Nicola added under her breath.

“No, you have a money issue.” Abagail reached out, gripping onto Nicola’s wrist. Her fingers wrapped firmly around, painfully so, her nails biting into Nicola’s flesh. “You shouldn’t be in this situation.”

“No, you’re right. I shouldn’t.” Nicola stared at her, that anger building more and more. Warren had this same entitled attitude about him. He’d hated the fact that Nicola had been broke and poor, that she’d struggled to make ends meet, and that she’d never been able to get ahead on her bills. Never. “But it’s absolutely none of your business that I am.”

Abagail’s lips parted like she was going to say something and then stopped herself.

“When will my car be ready?”

“It’s in the garage.” Abagail seemed taken aback by that.

Nicola twisted her wrist from Abagail’s grasp and took a step back. “Perfect. You won’t have to deal with my miserable life any longer.”

Stepping past Abagail, Nicola made to leave the room. She was stopped suddenly when Abagail grabbed her arm hard and twisted her back around, pushing her into the counter that they’d just been sucking face against.

“You don’t walk out on me,” Abagail threatened.

“I don’t?” Nicola was on fire tonight. She wasn’t going to let Abagail ruin her life or run it any more. This had all been a mistake. The worst part of the mistake was letting her heart enter into the conversation when she’d repeatedly told it not to. That wasn’t the purpose of their arrangement. “You don’t own me.”

Abagail staggered a step backward.

“Don’t mistake paying me to fuck you as ownership. Ever.” Nicola pushed her way beyond Abagail. “Don’t ever fucking think that I’m someone who can be controlled.”

Without another word, she stomped out of the kitchen. She went straight up to the room where she’d been staying, grabbed the clothes she’d shown up in and dropped Abagail’s credit card on the nightstand.

Fuck her.

Nicola was done.

She snagged her purse and stalked back down the stairs toward the garage. She was ready to be out of there. It was fun while it lasted but that was all this was. Nothing more.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Abagail’s voice rang down the hallway.

Nicola spun around, her hands clenching tightly. She shook her head, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Warren. If this was all for revenge, why didn’t you tell him?”

Nicola clenched her jaw hard, her heart racing. She hadn’t told him. After that first night together, she’d known for a fact that this was more than mere revenge. It may have started that way, but it quickly turned into something else. Nicola had enjoyed herself too much to let Warren take that from her. And she respected Abagail far too much to cheapen what they had by calling it revenge.

“I haven’t seen him or talked to him.”

“But why not?” Abagail walked closer, her shoes loud on the hardwood floors, forcing waves of impending danger to race through Nicola’s spine. This wasn’t good. “If that’s all this was.”

“It’s not…” Nicola’s voice broke, and her head was shaking before she could make it stop. “It’s not all this was.”

“No, it’s not.” Abagail was so close.

If Nicola gave in and moved beyond the anger, they could kiss. They could fuck. Nicola could push her against the wall and fuck her right here just like she’d done in the library but with a taste of victory in it all.

“I’m not yours to keep,” Nicola countered.

“I never said you were.” Abagail stared at her, hands in her pockets. She looked so calm right now. Nicola wished she could be in that space with her, but she didn’t want to be at the same time. “I just want to help you.”

“I don’t need your help.” Nicola’s shoulders tightened, pulling her entire body together in the last burst of anger she could possibly hold within her. “I don’t need your money.” She spat the last word out with every ounce of force she had left, and then she turned on her heels and walked away.

She couldn’t stand there any longer.

She couldn’t allow herself to be belittled like that.

“But you do,” Abagail said, loudly and gently at the same time. None of the anger of their argument was there. None of the control. It was acceptance and understanding.

But Nicola refused to believe it.

She took the door directly to the garage and slid behind the wheel of her car. Then she cursed when she realized the garage door was still closed and got back out to open it. Fuck this life. She wasn’t built for it. She should have realized that when she and Warren had broken up. She was never going to be accepted into a world that she hadn’t been born into.

Screeching out of the garage and squealing her tires as she pulled onto the street. Nicola left. She was so damn good at that, wasn’t she?

Couldn’t she ever just make the right decision the first time?

fourteen

“Ms. Kerrbox,” Grace sat across from Abagail in her office, a pinched look on her face that was entirely too serious.

Abagail nodded sharply, glancing out the glass window and toward Ivy, who was working happily away on her computer. Hopefully this wouldn’t take too long. She would have preferred to meet down at Grace’s office, but she didn’t have time today to figure it out, and she wanted to know what information Grace had.

It hadn’t taken Abagail more than twenty minutes to call her in and ask for a preliminary investigation to be done.

She needed answers.

And since Nicola was clearly not going to give them up, Abagail would find them any way that she could.

“What do you have for me?” Abagail asked, needing this meeting to start immediately. She’d worked with this private investigator before, and she was thorough. Abagail would work with her again, barring any major screwups in this matter.

“A lot.” Grace took a large manilla folder that was bursting with information and handed it over. “I would have emailed this, but you said not to.”

“Right.” Abagail nodded and took the folder. “What are the highlights until I can look through this in more detail?”

“Nicola Bolsinger is exactly who she says she is. Twenty-five years old, currently unemployed, though she has an interview at a local country club today. She has one sister and one aunt, but that’s the extent of her family. She talks to both frequently.”

Frequently? That word rang through Abagail’s mind. Nicola hadn’t mentioned either to her, at least not in any sense that they had such significant meaning for her.

“Parents?” Abagail asked.

“Both parents were killed in a motor vehicle accident involving a drunk driver.”

Abagail froze. Her hands trembled. She glanced from the folder up to Grace’s eyes, meeting her gaze over the desk. “Killed?”

Grace nodded, confirming what Abagail had heard. “It was a brutal accident. I printed out the details for you, but to sum it up quickly, they were driving home from a dance tournament when a drunk driver hit them head on. The driver survived.”

“But her parents didn’t,” Abagail surmised. She wasn’t sure she wanted to read that report. She would, of course, read it, because she wanted all the information she possibly could have on Nicola, but it didn’t mean she wanted to.

“They didn’t. But their younger daughter did.”

“Younger daughter…” Abagail echoed, running her fingers over the edge of the envelope as a way to center herself.

Grace nodded and hummed. “She was injured badly and has since been hospitalized for the last six years and currently resides at an in-patient care facility. She won’t ever be able to live at home on her own, and unless someone is willing and able to stay with her full time, she won’t be able to live outside of a facility again.”

“The aunt?”

Grace shook her head. “She works full time and lives on the other side of the state. This will need to be someone who doesn’t work and is solely a caregiver.”

Abagail’s stomach twisted. Nicola had never mentioned any of this, and if she was still talking to her sister frequently, then that would mean that they were still in contact with each other. “Nicola wasn’t in the car?”

“No, she wasn’t.”

“I can’t imagine…” Abagail trailed off, not entirely sure where she was going with that comment. She couldn’t imagine what it’d be like to get that news. She couldn’t believe how hard that must have been on a nineteen-year-old girl to have her entire life just ripped away from her in seconds. She couldn’t understand how Nicola had survived up to this point.

“There’s also the matter of finances, which you asked me specifically to look into.”

“Right.” Abagail cleared her throat and the trail of thoughts she’d just taken. She needed to keep herself grounded. “She’s broke.”

“More than broke,” Grace confirmed. “She’s destitute.”

“What?” Abagail looked at her directly. “It can’t be that bad.”

“It is. The rehabilitation facility that Alanna is at isn’t cheap, and insurance only goes so far, as does the money from the accident. Well, that money is gone—what they received of it. Alanna is on disability but it doesn’t cover nearly half the things that it should. She probably needs an experienced lawyer to help her sort those issues out to get Alanna exactly what she needs. Those issues are difficult to navigate for someone who understands the system.”

“Wait. Hold on. If she’s destitute⁠—”

“She has nothing, Ms. Kerrbox. Nothing at all.” Grace slid her palms against her thighs, uncomfortable at having to share this information. “She doesn’t even own the car that she’s driving, not that it’s worth anything. She’s upside down on that loan. She owes the rehabilitation facility close to six figures and she makes payments when she can, but they are filing suit against her.”

This was all too much. Abagail’s brain spun with the information and she hadn’t even dug into it deeply. Nicola never indicated… she had to stop thinking that way. There had been signs, if Abagail looked at them the right way, with this lens in mind. Nicola jumped at the chance for Abagail to pay her for sex. She’d never once peeped about the fact that Abagail had forced her hand to get the car fixed. She’d never objected when Abagail had given her a card to buy some clothes.

How had she missed it before now?

Abagail knew the answer to that, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to dig too deep into the whys. She hadn’t looked for it. She’d been selfish in how she’d found Nicola and how she’d kept Nicola within her grasp. And she hadn’t looked for anything that might indicate a deeper relationship—not just for her sake but for Nicola’s. In turn, Nicola had kept all of this from her.

“Thank you,” Abagail finally said, her voice cracking on the word. “Is there anything else?”

“Your nephew, Warren.” Grace stopped there, looking into Abagail’s eyes for the indication that she wanted Grace to continue. At Abagail’s nod, Grace said, “He’d been cheating on Nicola fairly consistently throughout their relationship. From what I could glean, Nicola was unaware of his infidelity until Chaya.”

Well, that did at least give Abagail some solace. Nicola wasn’t someone who would keep going back to a cheater. “And what ended that relationship?”

“Warren did.” Grace folded her hands across her belly. “Nicola couldn’t afford to be the one to break it off.”

“What do you mean?”

“Warren was funding a lot of her lifestyle—actually all of it. She was completely dependent on him, and any money she earned from working went straight to her sister. It was never enough, but it was what she had. So Warren is the one who ended it because Nicola couldn’t.”

“She was trapped.” The words escaped Abagail’s lips before she could stop them.

“In essence, yes.” Grace’s lips pursed into a pout. “I can’t imagine the decisions she’d had to make in her short life. Certainly not something anyone of her age should have to deal with.”

Abagail wasn’t going to give into those extra comments. What she wanted now were even more answers to the questions she wasn’t sure she wanted to ask. She had all the information in the folder that she’d been given, and she would take her time going through it as soon as Grace left her office. Right now, she needed to digest.

“Thank you for this thorough report. I’ll contact you if I need anything else.” Abagail stood up, making her way around the desk to shake Grace’s hand. She couldn’t bring herself to have Grace dig any deeper than she already had. She needed to figure this out on her own, and she really needed to decide how she was going to deal with the information that she’d been given.

As soon as Grace was out of her office, Abagail pulled open the folder and started her deep dive. She spent the next three hours reading every single line of the papers that Grace had given her, and her stomach churned with unsettled pain and anguish. Nicola should have never gone through any of this, and the fact that she’d come out the other side so happy and normal was a testament to who she was as a person.

Without thinking, Abagail called her banker and the rehabilitation facility. It didn’t take her longer than thirty minutes to wipe out the outstanding debt and put everything to rights. But something still didn’t feel right in her chest. She made a fist and rubbed her hand over her ribs.

She wasn’t going to tell Nicola what she’d done.

That wouldn’t be a fun conversation for anyone, and did it really matter? She’d at least given Nicola a chance to get ahead of the game. Hopefully, she’d take the opportunity.

Abagail stared at her cell phone, her heart hammering. She picked it up and called without second-guessing. She couldn’t be the one to hold back now. They were working so hard on making progress together, and surely a conversation that was reminiscent of times before Abagail had screwed up their friendship would help to bolster everything they were doing now for the future.

“It’s early,” Elia said as soon as she answered. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you have time?” Abagail asked, flicking her fingers together as she stared across the hallway to Ivy still working away at her desk. It was close to time for them to all be heading home for the day. Elia would already be done with the bulk of her work, which was why Abagail had known she could call.

“I have a few hours. Why?”

“I need to talk.”

“What’s wrong?” There was instant concern in Elia’s tone, and Abagail couldn’t have been more grateful for it. Perhaps they were closer to being back to where they were than she thought.

“Do you remember Warren’s fiancée? Nicola?”

“Yes.” Elia’s tone was clipped now, but she typically was when she was giving straight forward answers. “Did something happen?”

“They broke up a few weeks ago.” Well, it was probably longer than that but Nicola had clung on for dear life—literally. “I found out that Nicola had substantial debt and I paid it off.”

That was mostly the truth. But Abagail wasn’t ready to explain to Elia the extent of her relationship with Nicola—not yet anyway. She still needed some time to digest what was happening and figure out whether or not her arrangement with Nicola was going to continue. Although she hadn’t come home last night, so Abagail figured that was a stark no.

“You paid off her debt?” Elia repeated the words, doubt in her voice.

Was it really that odd a thing for her to do? Even as Abagail thought that question, she knew it was.

“She’s not just Warren’s ex-fiancée. What’s going on?” Elia asked again.

Abagail cringed. She hadn’t wanted to talk about that yet. She still wasn’t ready to explain to anyone what she’d willingly done, and how much shit she had actually stepped in. And for some reason, for this particular moment in time, Abagail wanted to keep her relationship with Nicola only to herself. No one else needed to know.

“She stayed with me a few days because she didn’t have a place. But I found out that she can’t afford an apartment because she’s paying for her sister’s medical bills.” That was close enough to the truth. She’d found out through back channels instead of from Nicola herself. And she knew that she’d implied she and Nicola were closer than they already were.

And why weren’t they?

Why hadn’t Nicola felt comfortable enough to tell Abagail about what was going on? About why her account was frozen?

“Are you in a relationship with her?”

Abagail’s stomach plummeted. “No.”

“Do you want to be?”

“You’re the one who said I was aromantic,” Abagail fired back. She wasn’t sure where to go with this, and she hadn’t even had a second to breathe and contemplate what Elia had dropped on her the last time they’d spoken.

“I did say that, but it doesn’t mean you can’t ever be in a relationship of some sort with someone else. Look at us.”

Abagail frowned. She still wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Something doesn’t feel right.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know.”

Elia hummed, but she didn’t say anything for a long time. Abagail held the phone close to her ear, waiting for Elia to say something else, to guide the conversation, because she was more lost now than when she’d called.

“I think… I feel bad for her.”

“It’s more than that. You feel bad for a lot of people and you don’t go wiping out their debt because of your guilt.”

“You’re right.” Abagail rubbed her fingers together before closing her eyes. “This is different.”

“Do you feel a sense of duty to her? Because of Warren?”

“Maybe that’s all it is.” But even as the words left her lips, Abagail knew it wasn’t that. There was something else. Something more.

“Just don’t you end up getting married without telling me.” Elia laughed lightly. “Oh, I’ve got a student. Sorry to cut this short.”

“No problem. We’ll catch up soon.” And this time when Abagail said that, she genuinely meant it. She missed Elia. And they needed to finish resolving their problems so they could get back to what they were before.

Now she just had to really find the time to analyze everything that Elia had told her. And since Nicola was out of the house, she should have plenty of it to spare.

fifteen

“Don’t you have any alcohol in this house?” Nicola rummaged through the kitchen, shooting an exasperated look over her shoulder at Aunt Simone.

“No, sadly, I don’t.” Simone sighed heavily and ran her fingers through her hair. She was leaning against the kitchen counter, her shoulders drawn and her chin dipped to the ground.

Nicola narrowed her eyes at her, trying to keep the happy energy high, but it was next to impossible with Simone moping like that. Then again, she’d been in a mood like that for years now. “Why the hell not?”

“Howie doesn’t like alcohol. Says it impedes…” Simone stopped sharply, “…abilities.”

Nicola snorted and rolled her eyes. “I never liked that man.” She opened the last cabinet that she hadn’t checked yet. “You don’t have a secret stash anywhere?”

“No.” Simone shook her head. “Tea?”

Nicola sighed loudly in an exaggerated manner and then threw her hands up in the air. “Sure. But I’m making it.”

Simone waved toward the cabinet where the tea was and Nicola immediately started to boil the water. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing for things you can’t control. You know I don’t like it.” Nicola had her back to Simone. She didn’t want this to turn into a self-deprecating bitch fest where she tried to pick Simone up off the ground and where she didn’t get her actual frustrations out. Because she was so mad at Abagail. And she was still pissed at Warren. And she just needed to make sure that if she blew a gasket and someone ended up dead and buried—most likely her—that Simone would have the capacity to take care of Alanna.

Nicola handed Simone the hot tea and raised an eyebrow at her. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Simone plastered a smile on her face, but it was fake, and Nicola knew without a doubt that she was one of the few—if not the only one—who would be able to sniff that out. “Let’s go to the family room.”

Simone turned her back and immediately started toward the room with a large couch and large television. Though she couldn’t remember seeing the television on when Simone was home alone. When Howie was there, however, it was always on and blasting so loud that Nicola swore it shook the walls. The man seriously needed to get his hearing checked.

Nicola settled down, but the energy still running through her body from the argument with Abagail wouldn’t stop. She really wanted to stop that. Abagail was out of her life. She’d walked out of that house, expecting absolutely nothing, regretting the mistakes she’d made. She just needed to get her feet under her again.

“How’s Alanna?” Simone asked, her gaze flicking toward the front door of the house.

“She’s good. The seizure was bad, but they got it under control quickly and she doesn’t seem any worse for wear.”

“That’s good.” Simone glanced down at her tea. “I think I’m going to do it this time.”

“Do what?” Nicola frowned. Simone had talked for years about divorcing Howie, but she’d never did anything beyond talk. Nicola had been ten when they’d gotten married. She hadn’t liked the jerk then and she didn’t like him now. She remembered even her mom talking bad about Howie before the wedding.

“Leave him,” Simone whispered the words. “Really, really. I’ve been saving up money.”

She was always saving up money and yet she never had any. Nicola wanted to rip Simone from this life and give her the new start that she deserved, but unless Simone actually wanted that, it was never going to work. She had to fight her own battles. But it was so damn hard for Nicola to continually support her through the ups and downs, and through the inaction.

It was the inaction that killed Nicola every time.

“I hope you do leave him.” Nicola took a long sip of her tea, not sure what else to say. She’d come here to escape and have a warm place to sleep for one night before heading back to the job and home she didn’t actually have. Maybe she should just move out here. But then the thought of leaving Alanna so far away sickened her.

“I will,” Simone whispered. “I don’t want to say that too loud. He has ears everywhere.” Simone giggled lightly. “I do like my new daughter-in-law, though. She should be moving into the house soon.”

“Garett is moving back in?” Nicola wrinkled her nose. “What, his lazy ass can’t get a job?”

“What job do you have?” Simone fired back. “He has a degree and he can’t find a job, it’s not an easy market out there.”

Nicola squinted. Had Simone just insulted her? “I can get a job.”

“I know you can. You know how to work hard. He doesn’t.”

“Because he’s a pampered baby,” Nicola mumbled under her breath. “So when’s he moving back in?”

“At the end of the month. It’ll be nice to have some people in the house.”

“A buffer, you mean.” Nicola knew exactly what Simone wasn’t saying. Having Garett back in the house, and having Andra there, would add a buffer to the cruelty that Howie dished out on her.

“Yes, a buffer.” Simone cringed, then she spun the mug in her hand. “I know you don’t like Howie.”

“That’s an understatement. I think he’s an abusive prick⁠—”

“Nicola.” Simone’s warning was clear. “I know you don’t like him. But this is my life.”

“I thought you were leaving it.” Nicola gave her a pointed look.

“I am.” Simone halted. “Just… I swear he hears everything in this house sometimes. It’s not as easy as just picking up and going.”

“I know.” Nicola frowned. She’d put herself in such a similar situation with Warren, and in the end, she hadn’t been the one with the courage to leave. The whole Chaya drama had taken its toll, and finally, Warren had been the one strong enough to break it off and end the relationship. Still, that stung.

She couldn’t do anything but thank him for ending her misery.

Even if she hated him in the process.

“Where have you been staying?” Simone asked, back to sipping her tea like nothing was amiss between the two of them. How did she manage to do that so well? Those masks she wore were thick.

“With Warren’s aunt.” Nicola swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. “She helped fix up my car, only reason I could make it out here today.”

“That was nice of her.”

“Hmm.” Nicola wasn’t exactly sure that’s what she’d call it, but it had been a roof over her head instead of her cramped car. “Did she feel bad because of Warren?”

“What?” Nicola scrunched her face up. “No, actually. I think she was happy about it?” Nicola said it like a question, but she thought back over all the interactions from the moment she’d shown up at that stupid engagement party to when she’d stormed out of the house. “No, I don’t think she felt bad about it.”

“She didn’t? Not even a little guilty?”

Nicola shook her head. “No.” And if there was any guilt, they’d breezed right through that the first night that they’d fucked. They hadn’t even dipped a toe into the emotional realm. It was purely a business arrangement. One that Nicola was never going to get paid for now, because like hell would she talk to Abagail again. Not unless she had to.

The phone buzzing in her pocket distracted her. Nicola slipped it out and stared at the number. “It’s the rehabilitation center.”

She showed the screen to Simone before answering. She would tell Simone whatever it was later anyway—wouldn’t she? So it didn’t matter if Simone was there to listen in on this.

“H-hello?” Were they coming after her for the money that she definitely didn’t have now? Not only that, but she’d missed her damn interview because she was so jittered from the argument and when she’d called to reschedule, they told her it wasn’t even worth the try.

“Ms. Bolsinger, this is Freya.”

Nicola’s stomach churned. “What’s wrong? Did she have another seizure?”

“No, no. Nothing like that.”

Nicola eased instantly. “What’s wrong then?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Freya chuckled nervously. “I just wanted to call and let you know that you don’t need to worry about that payment.”

“What?” Nicola frowned and she flicked her gaze to Simone. She hadn’t heard that, had she? Standing sharply, Nicola left the family room and went straight to the kitchen. She wanted privacy for this. “What are you talking about?”

“The amount you owed has been paid in full. We just need you to pay for the next month, but don’t worry about the back payments.”

“I’m not understanding.” Nicola shook her head again, her stomach twisting into knots. “What are you talking about?”

“Someone paid the debt. You only have future payments to make from now on.”

“What do you mean someone? Who?”

“A … donor.”

“A donor?” Nicola nearly screeched out the word. “Like you have a program for this?”

“Uh… not exactly.”

“Then who paid it?” Nicola’s voice rose, the sound reverberating through the kitchen.

“I can’t⁠—”

“Yes, you can.” Nicola clenched her jaw tightly. “This isn’t anything I applied for. No one knows about it except you people. So who paid for it.”

“Abagail Kerrbox.”

Nicola’s heart stuttered. The wind rushed from her lungs. Blood drained from her face. “Oh my God,” she whispered.

“Do you know her?” Freya asked.

“Uh. Yes. I’ll take care of this. I’ll uh… thank you.” Nicola ended the call without saying anything else. She leaned against the kitchen counter and closed her eyes, trying to calm her racing heart. But it wasn’t working. Her chest hurt so damn much. She pressed her fist against her ribs and worked hard to breathe as slowly and deeply as possible.

“Nicola?” Simone said, stepping into the room. “Is Alanna okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. That was…” What the hell was she supposed to say? Was she supposed to tell Simone everything now? “That was the facility about my next payment.”

“Payment?” Simone frowned. “I thought you said her SSI covered it all.”

“Not all of it.” Nicola winced. “And I fell behind a bit in the payments, but Abagail—” She stopped short. She couldn’t say Warren’s Aunt because Abagail was so much more than that now, wasn’t she? And this was way more than what they’d agreed on. Where did Abagail get off thinking she could just buy her way back into Nicola’s good graces? Fuck, was she even all that different from Warren?

“Abagail what?”

“She paid it off.” Nicola bit the inside of her cheek. “You know how rich that family is. Insanely rich. And Abagail, she holds the purse strings for everything. So I guess she found out and maybe she did feel bad about Warren.”

“So you think she paid off the bill to alleviate her guilt?” Simone’s face scrunched in confusion.

“M-maybe.” That wasn’t what Nicola thought. But she really didn’t want to explain to Simone what the actual arrangement had been, or that she’d stormed out of there when Abagail had thrown her weight around and tried to be too controlling, or whatever the hell that had been in her kitchen.

“Does that sound like her?” Simone asked.

“It could. I don’t honestly know her that well.” Nicola’s panic began to subside. But it was replaced with the burning anger that she’d shown up with. Fuck, she’d really wanted to get away from that, not just run face first into it again. “I think I need to go talk to her.”

“Might not be a bad idea.” Simone brushed her fingers down Nicola’s arm. “Now?”

“Yeah. Now.” Nicola stood up straight. “Sorry to cut this short. I’ll be back soon. I promise.”

“Are you ever going to tell me the whole story?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Nicola leaned in and hugged Simone tightly. “I’ll tell you when you leave the abusive bastard,” she whispered it into Simone’s ear. “A deal’s a deal.”

Simone hummed and nodded. “Fine. But you do realize I can just call and find out, right?”

“Yeah, but you won’t.” Nicola squeezed her again in a tight hug. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Nicola gave her one last hug and then raced to the car. She hadn’t prepared for this. She’d never thought she was going to see Abagail again when she’d walked out of that house, but the entire drive she couldn’t stop thinking about her. And now?

Well, now, Nicola needed to take care of something.

She needed to put Abagail in her place.

Nicola didn’t need her.

She didn’t need to be told again that she would never measure up. That she could barely keep her head above water. That she wasn’t good for anything other than her body and a good laugh. Fuck, she needed Abagail to understand there was no reason to do that. Nicola didn’t deserve it.

She wasn’t good enough for this.

And she never would be.

sixteen

“You had no right!” Nicola’s voice reverberated through the library, startling Abagail.

She hadn’t even realized that Nicola had come back to the house. She’d figured she’d left for good. Pulling off her reading glasses, Abagail set them carefully on the small table next to her and set her book down slowly.

Abagail would do her damnedest to keep as calm as possible. She’d had enough of the anger when Nicola left, and she didn’t want to deal with it again. She wasn’t here to play games. She was too old for that line of bullshit.

“I had no right to do what? Read a book in my own house?” Abagail spread her hands out around her to show off the room.

“To pay off my debt.”

Abagail detected a wobble in Nicola’s tone just under the anger. But she had no idea what was causing it. Standing up slowly, Abagail put her hands on her hips and walked toward Nicola. “Don’t think anything of it.”

“Don’t think… Don’t think!?” Nicola screeched.

Abagail looked over her shoulder and walked out of the library. “I told you that I’d pay you.”

“Pay me?” Nicola’s voice cracked. “Is that all I am to you? Some piece of ass that you can pay to fuck and pay to go away?”

Abagail faltered in her step, stopping in the middle of the hallway and turning to face her. “No.”

“No! No?” Nicola’s anger hit a wall, and it had nowhere to go.

“No.” Abagail took a step closer to her. They were toe to toe, but she had to lift her chin up to look into Nicola’s eyes. “I don’t think of you like that at all.”

“Then what am I to you?”

Abagail had no idea what to say. She hadn’t even thought about that. In fact, she’d taken great pains to avoid thinking about it. She clenched her jaw tightly, the muscles in her body rippling with tension, and stayed right where she was, stunned into silence. She couldn’t honestly remember the last time that had happened.

She was never at a loss for words.

But right now she couldn’t find a single one.

“You don’t just go and pay my debt, do you understand?” Nicola bent in closer. They were nose to nose. “I pay my debts.”

“That’s not a debt you should have to pay,” Abagail whispered, her heart thundering. “It’s not a burden that you should have.”

“Burden?” A deep line formed in the center of Nicola’s forehead. “Who said my sister was a burden?”

“No one.” Abagail dashed her tongue out, trying to find any words that might make this better, that might actually explain whatever it was she was feeling. Not that she could manage that. She didn’t even understand it. “No one said that.”

“Then why would you assume that?”

“I-I shouldn’t have.” Abagail’s fingers itched. She wanted to move, to do something—anything. But she had no idea what that should be. “But it shouldn’t fall to you.”

“But it does,” Nicola answered sharply. “And you can’t buy me. I’m not for sale.”

Nicola took a sudden step backward, her nostrils flaring. Abagail couldn’t have that. She shot her hand out, grasping Nicola’s wrist and tugging her straight back.

“I’m not trying to buy you.” Abagail’s breath left her. How could Nicola think that? After everything they’d done together, after all the time—she stopped that thought. They hadn’t really gotten to know each other. Not yet. “I’m trying to give you the chances and opportunities that you never had. Because you deserve them, Nicola. And life dealt you a shitty hand, one you didn’t deserve. And if I can make just one damn thing right for you, then I will.”

“I don’t need you.” Nicola stepped in close, turning Abagail so her back was pushed against the wall. She breathed deep, pressing her nose against Abagail’s neck. Abagail’s pulse raced under the tender touch.

What was happening right now?

Abagail couldn’t stop herself from moaning. Nicola pressed her thigh between Abagail’s legs, pushing hard against her and sending pleasure throughout her body in waves. Gasping, Abagail grabbed hold of Nicola’s hips and held on because she was pretty damn sure that her knees were going to give out.

“I want you,” Nicola growled the words, her lips moving against Abagail’s neck.

The groan that left Abagail’s mouth was guttural. She tossed her head back and dropped her body down to grind against Nicola’s thigh.

“I choose to be here.” Nicola scraped her teeth across Abagail’s neck.

Abagail shuddered in response, digging her fingers into Nicola’s sides to keep herself upright. She’d do anything that Nicola told her to do right now. Whatever wall she’d held between them before was smashed under their feet. Nicola held all the power, all the control. And Abagail was ready to give it up to her.

Nicola pressed her palm fully against Abagail’s breast, squeezing hard enough to cause a bit of pain. Abagail’s underwear was soaked through. With her lips parted, she opened her eyes. She wanted to see Nicola, to know what this full power looked like on her. Would she be drunk on it? No, Abagail didn’t think so.

She’d have it tightly controlled, wrapped around her fingers to pull the strings one by one.

“Grind me,” Nicola commanded. She used the flat of her tongue, sliding it up Abagail’s neck and across her jaw. “Come apart.”

Abagail scrunched her face up.

“I own you.” Nicola bit the underside of her jaw.

Abagail cried out, pushing her pussy harder against Nicola’s thigh. She trembled, her entire body coiling up and waiting for the match to be lit. And Nicola held the match between her fingers, poised and ready to strike but only when she wanted to.

Rutting her hips against Nicola’s thigh, Abagail held on with everything she had. She wanted this to last. She fought her body tooth and nail. She wasn’t going to let Nicola be in charge… not just yet. Shuddering, Abagail clenched her eyes shut tight and shook her head. She had to stop. That wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted Nicola to consume her, to surround her, to control her.

Abagail cried out loudly. She gasped. She reached up and wrapped a hand around the back of Nicola’s neck and pulled her in as tightly as possible. Abagail couldn’t let go. She didn’t want to. She wanted Nicola to keep her there, pressed against the wall, against her, flying high on the pleasure that only Nicola could pull from her body.

“You’re mine.”

Her orgasm consumed her. Abagail’s entire body tightened, her breath rushing from her lungs. Nicola pressed their mouths together, tongues tangling wildly in a brutally uncontrolled kiss. Abagail clutched onto her, her head spinning from the pleasure that filled her entire body and took hold of all her senses.

She lost all track of time. When Abagail finally started to come to, Nicola was still kissing her, but it was gentle and soft, against her lips, on her cheeks, her forehead. Abagail relaxed, her eyes fluttering open, and she looked directly into those blue eyes—the ones that held her so firmly.

They stared. Long and deep. Abagail’s heart thudded loudly, her entire body tightly wrapped and holding on to Nicola. What was happening? She didn’t understand it. She breathed deeply, moving her hand to press her palm over Nicola’s heart, feeling its thundering response to the gentle touch.

I’m yours.

The words rolled around in her head. They tasted sweet on her tongue. They coated her throat.

I’m yours.

Abagail opened her mouth, ready to say them, ready to let Nicola hold all the cards for the first time in her life. She was ready to let someone else be in charge for just this once. Or maybe even longer. Abagail raised her hand to just under Nicola’s chin, pressing her thumb and forefinger so she could hold Nicola close.

She breathed slowly, the world slowing down. She could say those words, couldn’t she? She could speak them into existence and Nicola would savor them. Leaning in, Abagail kissed her tenderly. There was no heat in it this time. It was nothing more than comfort and connection, and something stirred inside her, something she’d never felt before.

“I’m yours,” Abagail whispered against Nicola’s lips, not sure she could stand to look her in the eyes when she said this. “I’m yours.”

Nicola wrapped her arms around Abagail’s back and hauled Abagail against her. She started to walk, moving Abagail backward. Abagail pulled at Nicola’s shirt, tugging it over her head and dropping it at the bottom of the stairs. She wrapped Nicola up for another kiss before breaking it and walking up the stairs with Nicola only a step behind her.

When she reached the top of the stairs, Nicola slid her hand into Abagail’s and laced their fingers. Abagail stumbled. Nicola caught her. She glanced down at their joined hands and felt the warmth of the touch seep through her skin and into her body. Nicola started toward the room they’d shared before, but Abagail stopped her.

“No, this way.” Her voice was gentle as she spoke, and she tugged lightly. Abagail led the way down the other end of the hall to her bedroom. She shut the door behind them.

Immediately, their mouths were pressed together. Abagail ran her fingers over Nicola’s bare back and flicked the clasp of her bra. She felt the weight of Nicola’s small breasts against her palms, the hardness of her nipples, the suppleness of her flesh. Nicola hummed, her nimble fingers working at the buttons on Abagail’s blouse.

“Just rip it,” Abagail murmured.

“Really?” Nicola asked, pulling back slightly in surprise.

“Yes.” Abagail kissed her hard. “Yes.”

With both hands, Nicola slid her hands between the buttons and jerked hard. The buttons flew, the thread ripped loudly, and Nicola giggled. The sound was music to Abagail’s ears as she bent in for another kiss. Nicola stripped Abagail bare of her shirt and bra, and then she spun them around, pushing Abagail down onto the bed so she could feast on her breasts.

She flicked her tongue over her nipples, swirling little circles. Abagail arched her back and dropped her shoes onto the floor. She ran her fingers through Nicola’s tangled curls and tightened her grasp. She wanted touch and more touch—everything that Nicola could give her and more.

Nicola had her belt undone and her pants around her thighs. Abagail lifted her hips up to help as Nicola pulled her clothes off, stripping her completely naked. She stepped up, eyeing Abagail over, her gaze filled with lust and something else that Abagail couldn’t name.

“Let me taste you first,” Nicola said, her lips bowed upward into a beautiful smile.

Silently, Abagail parted her legs and threw her hands behind her head. This was comfortable. Abagail understood this side of who they were together. Nicola bent down, kissing the insides of her thighs, trailing her tongue in swirls, and nuzzling her nose into Abagail’s curls.

“Nicola…” Abagail breathed her name, lifting her hips up again in anticipation of what Nicola’s tongue would feel like.

Nicola didn’t disappoint. The first lick was from back to front, and she hummed her satisfaction. She scraped her teeth against the inside of Abagail’s thigh before sliding back in to lick her again, and then suck her. Abagail ground down against her face, holding back her cries of pleasure. Before she could even think about what was going to happen next, Nicola stopped.

“Get in the middle of the bed,” Nicola said, standing between Abagail’s legs.

Complying, Abagail pulled herself backward until she was lying in the center of the mattress. Nicola climbed on top of her, straddling her at first and then lying down against her side. Their lips touched. Abagail cupped her cheek before sliding her hand down Nicola’s neck and chest to her hip. Nicola trailed her fingers across Abagail’s skin, simply exploring in such a gentle manner.

Abagail reveled in it. This softness wasn’t something she was used to. Good hard quick fucks—that was more her norm. Especially with Nicola. She’d anticipated the spanking, the pulling of her nipples, the digging of Nicola’s nails into her flesh. But this was something else entirely.

And it felt so damn good.

Abagail floated, her brain her heart her body. She felt nothing but Nicola against her, each trace of her fingers, each slide of her leg as she shifted. Abagail moved her hand down between Nicola’s legs, plying her, teasing her, just a sweet slide of her fingers here and there. She wasn’t aiming to get Nicola off quickly. Instead, she wanted to stay in this sweet moment for as long as possible.

Could they touch like this all night?

Nicola slid two fingers inside her, and Abagail gasped.

No. They weren’t going to stay like this all night. Nicola was going to pleasure her until she lost her damn mind again. The only difference was that this time she was looking forward to it, and she trusted that Nicola would catch her in the end.

“Touch me,” Nicola whispered into her ear. “Finger me.”

Abagail licked her lips as she finally touched Nicola with far more purpose than before. They were face to face, chest to chest, as they fingered each other. They started slowly, and Abagail followed each of Nicola’s moves. Nicola’s fingers slipped, but she added in a third.

“So good,” Abagail said, the words barely making it out of her mouth.

“You feel amazing,” Nicola murmured, planting a kiss against Abagail’s neck. Her entire body was rocking as they moved together, fingers buried deep inside each other. Their gazes locked.

They stayed there, locked together and bringing each other to new heights of pleasure. Abagail moved in and kissed Nicola as pleasure filled her entire body for the second time that night. Nicola fell on top of her, her hips rocking in a regular tempo before faltering. She gave Abagail a sloppy kiss before falling to the side and laughing lightly.

“Don’t do that again,” Nicola said, curling around Abagail.

“Do what?” Abagail tangled her fingers into Nicola’s hair and held her.

“Make decisions for me.”

Abagail’s heart stuttered. She shook her head and looked directly into Nicola’s eyes. “I promise.”

“Good.” Nicola took a deep breath and lay on her back.

The air was cool against Abagail’s skin, sending goosebumps up and down her legs and arms. But she didn’t want to move. This was so comfortable. Abagail touched Nicola lightly on her arm. She was about to do the unthinkable.

“Stay here tonight.”

“Are you sure?” Nicola asked, the surprise evident in her tone and her face.

“Yes. I’m sure.” Abagail kissed Nicola’s shoulder. She wanted more of this. So much more.

seventeen

Nicola drew in a slow, deep breath, the sunlight against her face warming her. So was the body against her back. She smiled at herself, feeling the way that Abagail was pressed up against her, leg woven between hers, hand possessively cupping Nicola’s breast as her arms wrapped around Nicola’s front.

She loved this.

A moment of both raw, pure, unadulterated lust and comfort all wrapped up into one. Nicola’s lips curled unexpectedly as she settled into the space. She would love to stay here forever, and she could at least stay here for quite a bit longer.

Something had happened between them the night before, something that had clicked and changed and shifted the balance between them. They were on far more even footing now than they had been before. But what that meant for the future, Nicola wasn’t entirely sure yet.

Nicola slipped from the warmth of Abagail’s embrace and headed straight for the bathroom. She relieved herself and then stared at herself naked in the mirror. She had red marks on her skin from Abagail’s mouth, bite marks down her neck and across her chest. Abagail would have similar marks.

She smiled at them, brushing her fingers across her skin as her cheeks pinked from the memory of the hours they’d spent wrapped up in each other’s arms. She never would have expected this with Abagail. She was cold and harsh, and Warren never had anything good to say about her. He’d always talked about Abagail like she was the black sheep of the family who literally held all the control that could make them or break them.

But that wasn’t entirely true, was it?

Nicola washed her hands, deciding that she’d shower later before she went to visit Alanna. But right now she wanted to get back into the circle of Abagail’s embrace. She tiptoed back into the bedroom and slid under the blankets, immediately finding the exact position that she had left only minutes before.

Abagail hummed, her breath rustling the small hairs on the back of Nicola’s neck as she scooted in closer and again grabbed Nicola’s breast possessively. Then Abagail grunted, though it didn’t seem like a very happy grunt.

“You’re cold.”

Nicola’s lips curled upward into a smile as she pushed herself back against Abagail’s body. “Better for you to warm me up then.”

Abagail’s grunt turned into a hum this time, and her thumb slowly moved against Nicola’s hardened nipple. Pleasure shot through Nicola’s body each time Abagail’s thumb swiped across her. Abagail dropped a kiss onto the back of Nicola’s shoulder before sliding her leg around to capture one of Nicola’s and pull her thighs apart.

“You shouldn’t be so tempting in the mornings,” Abagail whispered.

The grin on Nicola’s lips increased tenfold. “Tempting? I’m pretty sure I could say the same about you.”

Abagail’s chuckle was low, deep, and way sexier than Nicola had anticipated. “Let me warm you up.”

“Always,” Nicola answered. Before she could even think to add another comment, Abagail’s fingers were deep inside her, heel of her palm against Nicola’s clit. The motions were slow at first, nothing meant to overheat her or get her to come in seconds. This was meant to be a slow, warming tease. “I love when your fingers are inside me.”

Nicola reached back, wrapping her arm around Abagail’s neck and arching her back to push against Abagail’s body. Abagail pulsed her fingers gently, teasing Nicola’s body and building her upward in a gentle pattern. Nicola moaned, biting her lip and grinding her hips down against Abagail’s hand.

Abagail’s teeth scraped against Nicola’s shoulder before planting another kiss on her. “I want you to come for me.”

“I will,” Nicola answered, wiggling her hips and sliding against Abagail as much as she could. She hadn’t expected early morning play, but she was going to take absolutely everything that she could get.

It was going to take forever to come this way, and Nicola didn’t want to wait that long. She wanted to relax, to feel the happy little bubble that an orgasm created, and she wanted Abagail’s firm and sure mouth against her.

“I need more,” Nicola whined. She reached down her body and snagged Abagail’s wrist. “I want your mouth.”

Abagail hummed and turned on her back. “Then get on.”

Nicola’s heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t thought she’d get to sit on Abagail’s face. She’d fully anticipated Abagail to crawl between her legs and make her come so hard that she forgot what bedroom she’d slept in last night. Except that wasn’t going to happen.

Giddy with excitement, Nicola got up on her hands and knees and immediately straddled Abagail’s head. She grinned down at her, pulling her hair over one shoulder as she lowered her pussy so that Abagail could reach her with her tongue. Hissing, Nicola’s eyes fluttered shut as she focused on each sensation.

Abagail started slowly, a gentle exploration of Nicola’s body, a tease here and there against her clit and then as deep inside her as she could go. Nicola rubbed herself against Abagail’s mouth in a simple back and forth motion. She gasped loudly as pleasure built inside her way faster than it would have if Abagail had kept her fingers there.

This was so much better.

Abagail wrapped her arms around Nicola’s thighs and pulled her down harder. Groaning, Nicola leaned back slightly to keep herself balanced. As Abagail sucked and licked, Nicola ground and rocked. To have this powerful and compelling woman between her legs, underneath her, making her feel more each passing second was beyond anything Nicola could have ever imagined.

She’d always been so scared of Abagail, any time that Warren would mention her. But this side of Abagail was something else entirely. This side was softer, supple—nothing more than a woman’s simple need for pleasure. But it was more than that too. This side of Abagail was the real her, the woman that Nicola was sure not many people actually saw.

She hummed her pleasure, grinding down just as much as Abagail was continuing to lick her. She kept herself as upright as possible, but as her pleasure grew and her orgasm started to overtake her, she let it. No reason to hold back now. Jerking, Nicola fell into her orgasm, letting it swoop through her to take hold of every nerve ending she had. She fell forward, her hands planted into the mattress as she breathed deeply.

The laugh that rolled from her was small at first, but then it grew. She fell onto the mattress, her entire body rattling with joy and happiness. She couldn’t remember being this relaxed, this carefree. She brushed her fingers down Abagail’s arm and held onto her lightly.

“Give me a minute and I’ll return the favor.”

“Do it in the shower.” Abagail pushed herself up and planted a kiss onto Nicola’s lips. “I need a minute.”

Nicola tangled her fingers in the back of Abagail’s hair and pulled her back in to deepen the kiss. She didn’t let go right away, tangling their tongues and nipping Abagail’s lip as she grinned again. “Fine, but then I get to pick the method.”

“Just the way I like it.” Abagail pecked her lips again, still damp from Nicola’s pussy. “Shower.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Nicola lay sprawled out on the bed until she heard the water for the shower running. That should have given Abagail enough time to do exactly what she needed. She smiled as she stepped toward the dresser and pulled open the top drawer. Her instincts had been correct. Grinning, she lifted the strap out of the drawer and slipped it on.

Perfect.

Nicola slipped into the shower, closing the glass door behind her. She pressed up against Abagail’s back and wrapped her arms around her, dropping kisses onto her already damp shoulder. “So I get to fuck you in here any way that I want?”

Abagail looked over her shoulder and her lips quirked upward. “I did tell you to do that, didn’t I?”

“Yeah.” Nicola scraped her teeth against Abagail’s shoulder. “But I’m just checking.” Because this felt so different than any other time they’d had sex. Something about the last twelve hours had changed them. “I brought the strap.”

Abagail groaned and pushed back against her. “Yesssssss.”

“Hands against the wall, Abs.” Nicola slid her fingers along Abagail’s arms and pressed her palms to the cold tile. “Spread ‘em.”

Abagail’s chuckle was perfect—a sound filled with happiness and anticipation. Nicola trailed her fingers down Abagail’s ass, over the curves of her body. She pressed her fingers between her legs and tested to see if she was ready, and she definitely was.

Nicola stepped closer and pressed the strap against Abagail, pulling her hips so Abagail’s ass was pressed tight to her front. Abagail groaned, wiggling a little before she nodded her head.

“Now.”

Nicola wasn’t going to correct Abagail’s command. She wanted this just as much as Abagail did, and she wasn’t going to deny either one of them whatever pleasure they could find together. Nicola slid the dildo deeper inside Abagail, holding her still when she moved. She slowed her movements, making sure that Abagail was ready for her.

As soon as she was deep inside Abagail, Nicola reached around her with both hands, teasing her tits and her clit. Abagail didn’t move her hands from the wall, but she pressed back against Nicola, moaning and whining for more. Nicola licked her skin, tasting the water droplets that mixed with her flavor. Nicola would drink her up like this for as long as possible.

Rutting against her, Nicola teased Abagail. Her cries grew into screams, and her voice echoed loudly in the shower, hurting Nicola’s ears. But she loved this. She wasn’t going to stop unless Abagail told her to, and these were screams of pleasure. Nicola held still as Abagail came, her entire body tensing and twitching.

She soothed Abagail through the orgasm, easing away the pleasure as much as she kept it there. Finally, Abagail straightened and Nicola pulled the toy from her. She turned Abagail around and kissed her, the warm water from the shower hitting her back until Abagail was brushing her fingers over Nicola’s cheeks and tenderly touching her.

“Come away with me,” Abagail murmured.

“What?” Nicola frowned and shook her head.

“Let’s go on a trip, just you and me. I want time alone with you.”

“I can’t leave Alanna.” Nicola stepped away from Abagail, putting some space between them. She pulled the strap off and tossed it into the sink before stepping back into the shower with Abagail. She wasn’t even going to entertain the idea.

“You can. You’ve done it before.” Abagail pulled a bar of soap from the edge of the shower and lathered her fingers up. “We could come back immediately if something went wrong.”

Abagail didn’t know, did she? How could she? She probably just paid the bill and didn’t dig any deeper than that. The facility wouldn’t have given out any medical information to her anyway. Frowning, Nicola ducked her entire head under the spray and let the water run over her.

When she stepped out again, Nicola furrowed her brow. “What do you know about Alanna?”

“I know she was badly injured in a car accident.” Abagail rubbed her hands over her skin.

“She’s paralyzed from the waist down, has limited movement in her upper body. She’s mostly bedbound. She has epilepsy now, plus a slew of other issues. I don’t leave her.”

“You’re not leaving her,” Abagail reiterated. “You’re taking a trip. We won’t go far. I have a house at the Cape that we can go to.”

“Yes, I know. I’ve been there before.” Nicola ducked her head back under the water. Why was she being so resistant to this idea? It wasn’t like her. She’d left Alanna for trips before, but she hadn’t expected this to come from Abagail. “I thought we were just fucking.”

Abagail paused, standing naked with suds slipping down her wet skin. “We are fucking.”

“But is it just fucking?” Nicola asked again, and this time, she really needed an answer.

“I don’t know.” Abagail moved to stand under the water, putting Nicola out of the warmth of the spray. She rinsed off, getting her hair wet as she looked deep into Nicola’s eyes. “But I can’t stop thinking about you or wanting you.”

“I’ll take that,” Nicola murmured, though it still didn’t sit fully within her chest. It was like the lid had been closed but not quite all the way, and she didn’t know what lid she was closing or if she even wanted it shut all the way. “How long would we be gone?”

“A week or two. However long you want.” Abagail washed her hair.

Biting her lip, Nicola mulled it over. She was still unemployed, and she could spend some of that time setting up interviews. If they were going to be that close, then she could always come back if she found a job and needed to start it immediately.

“We have to talk to Alanna first.”

“What?” Abagail asked, scrunching her face up.

“We need to talk to Alanna first,” Nicola repeated.

“We?” Abagail furrowed her brow. “I don’t think you understand that I’m not very good with those types of situations.”

“Then no deal. I won’t go.” Nicola raised an eyebrow in defiance, making sure that Abagail understood exactly how important this was.

“Fine.” Abagail’s lips pressed into a thin line. “We’ll go later this morning.”

“Perfect.” Nicola kissed her loudly. “Now, round two?”

Abagail laughed, but it was quickly muffed by Nicola’s mouth. She was going to take full advantage of this opportunity. Trip or no trip.

eighteen

“It’s this way,” Nicola said proudly.

Abagail tried to relax her muscles, but she couldn’t. The drive to the rehabilitation facility had been longer than she’d anticipated, and when Cal had dropped them off, she wasn’t sure she should be there. But Nicola had that smile on her face that drew her in and she couldn’t resist.

They walked down a long hallway, past a very nice reception desk, a nurse’s desk, and down another hallway. Abagail would probably get lost in here for days if she let herself roam without supervision. It was a good thing Nicola was leading the way.

“Hey sis!” Nicola’s grin grew from mildly amused to full-blown joyful.

Abagail wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Nicola look that happy before. The way her eyes crinkled in the corners, the way the entire weight of the world that she typically carried just vanished. It was astounding just to witness it. But was it all an act? A way to simply keep Alanna from seeing the weight that Nicola carried?

“Nic!” Alanna grinned back, lifting her arms up for a hug.

Her fingers were still curled over tightly in a ball. She must not be able to straighten them out. Nicola didn’t hesitate as she slid in and wrapped her arms around Alanna’s shoulders and pulled her in tightly for an embrace. Abagail stayed right where she was by the door of the room, making sure that the two sisters had whatever time they needed together.

“Who’s this?” Alanna asked, glancing from Abagail to Nicola.

She certainly wasn’t looking to Abagail for an answer, and that was fine. Abagail would let Nicola do all the talking, and let her figure out exactly what she wanted to tell Alanna about their relationship. Abagail stayed silent.

“This is Abagail.” Nicola turned on her, that grin from before that was so full of joy staying right in place.

Abagail nearly had to take a step back from the full brunt of it. Is this what it was like to have Nicola happy? Well and truly happy without the worry and stress? Because God, this was amazing. Abagail found her own lips curling upward slightly, enjoying the way that Nicola seemed so free here.

“And Abagail is…?” Alanna asked, her voice dragging Abagail’s attention back to her.

“War—” Nicola stopped short, a flash of pain in her gaze before it vanished into the ether. “Abagail is a friend, a good friend.”

That answered one question. Nicola wasn’t going to talk to Alanna about their sex life. It meant that Abagail had a much clearer understanding of where the boundary was.

“We were talking about going away for a week, so I wanted to stop by first.”

“What, now?” Alanna’s face scrunched up, almost as if she was moving in slow motion though. “You’re leaving now?”

“Well, yeah.” Nicola shrugged slightly. “Why not?”

Alanna barked out a laugh. “You never do anything half-assed, do you?”

“Never.” Nicola was giggling, full on giggling

Abagail hadn’t ever heard her make that sound before. She shifted her stance, not quite sure why she was here to witness this conversation and not sure that she necessarily wanted to bear the full brunt of Alanna’s judgment of her. Which was odd, normally she didn’t care about that at all. Especially when it came to any kind of relationship she had—Elia’s friendship excluded.

Fuck, what would Elia think of this entire arrangement?

Of the fact that Abagail was standing here in Alanna’s rehabilitation room, basically trying to convince Alanna that it was okay for Nicola to come play with her for a week at her summer house. It was barely the end of spring, so it’d still be fairly secluded without everyone there yet. Abagail’s palms were sweaty.

Was she nervous?

“How do I know I can trust that she won’t dismember you and throw you out to sea for the sharks?” Alanna was now glaring at Abagail, trying to play the role of protective sister. This was honestly adorable in a way that Abagail longed for.

This was what her family should have been.

“You don’t,” Abagail finally said, breaking the silence and entering into the conversation fully for the first time.

“That’s not exactly comforting.” Alanna flicked her gaze to Nicola. “But if you dismember her, please only mail back the bits that I might want to see. Keep all the grody gooey bits to yourself.”

“Oh my God!” Nicola buried her face in her hands.

“I’ll try to accommodate that.” Abagail’s lips twitched, nearly forcing their way into a smile.

“Alanna! She’s not going to dismember me.”

“I don’t know,” Abagail said. “The thought of taking you apart one piece at a time sounds fascinating.”

“I think you’d rather be taken apart that way,” Nicola answered, giving Abagail a hard stare. “But that’s not going to happen. I’ll be gone a week at the most, and I’ll have my phone with me every second if you need to get ahold of me.” Nicola reached over and snagged Alanna’s hand, squeezing tightly. “Besides, you’re the one we should be worrying about. The last time I left you, you ended up in the hospital.”

“It’s not my fault the burly nurse didn’t catch me in time.”

Nicola snorted loudly, shaking her head and boring her face into Alanna’s shoulder. She came back up and faced Abagail. “Alanna here has a major crush on one of the nurses. Mr. Connor, as she calls him.”

“Nic!” Alanna’s cheeks tinged red.

Abagail stayed still, listening intently.

“So one morning, when he was working, she decided she would try to jump into his arms, and instead they both ended up in a pile of unmovable limbs on the floor. He still teases her about it to this day and it happened nearly a year ago now.”

“I can’t believe you told her that.” Alanna lifted her hands to cover her face and shake her head. “Now the whole facility’s going to know about it.”

“They already know about it,” Nicola countered.

“Yeah, but now they’ll bring it up again,” Alanna mumbled under her breath.

“I swear I won’t tell anyone!” Abagail put a hand over her heart. “Though that does seem an innovative way to get someone’s attention.”

“Oh and she did get his attention.” Nicola winked at Alanna. “But not in the way she intended.”

Alanna looked so embarrassed, but in a good way, not like Nicola was pushing this too far. Abagail settled into that feeling. This was definitely what family should be—gentle teasing, love, care. What had happened to her family that none of this was present?

“So how do you two know each other?” Alanna asked.

Abagail snapped out of her reverie. She must have missed the shift in conversation, because she hadn’t been expecting that question. Nicola sucked in a slow breath, flicking her gaze to lock her eyes on Abagail before looking directly at Alanna.

“We met, I think for the first time at the bar Abagail owns. Though that’s not the first time we actually met.”

Alanna squinted. “I smell a story.”

“There is a story.” Nicola patted her sister’s hand. “And maybe I’ll share that story with you sometime, but not today.”

“Why not?” Now Alanna was staring at Abagail.

“I can… leave if you’d prefer to tell her while I’m not here.” Abagail pointed toward the door.

Immediately, Nicola stood up and came right to her. “No. I don’t want you to leave.” Nicola skimmed her hand down Abagail’s arm, but she didn’t stay there. Instead, she put space between them. And never before had Abagail felt so distant from her. Not even after their argument when Nicola had left without telling her what was happening or where she was going or if she would even be back.

“Oh, I smell a really good story.” Alanna chuckled and put her hands up next to her face.

Abagail smiled at her. She’d never seen someone just so happy with life. It was contagious. Nicola rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner and moved back to sit next to Alanna. “You’ll get it, maybe. Someday.”

“You can spare me the smutty details.”

“Alanna!” Nicola squeaked.

“And that’s definitely my cue.” Abagail nodded toward Alanna. “It was good to meet you.”

Without waiting for Nicola’s reply, Abagail walked out of the room and toward a waiting area with couches and a fireplace. She sat down, immediately crossing her legs and pulling out her tablet and phone. She had a few things she needed to tidy up at work before she could just leave Ivy in charge for the next week. Not that she wouldn’t be checking in while she was gone, especially since this trip had been so last minute.

Staying in there and knowing what Nicola was going to say about her was definitely not something she needed to do. She wasn’t sure how long it took, but she was right in the middle of an email to Nathalie Coeur when Nicola stepped into her line of sight. Abagail nodded toward her, finished the email, and then closed her tablet so she could focus on Nicola.

“All done?” Abagail asked.

“Yes.” Nicola’s cheeks were rosy, but she had a forlorn look in her eyes that Abagail hated seeing. “We can go.”

“Are you sure?” Abagail reached out and touched Nicola’s arm lightly.

“Yes. I’m sure.” Nicola stepped away and broke the physical contact.

Again, that same feeling swept over Abagail, the one that felt so out of place and not at the same time. She longed to lean forward and brush her fingers across Nicola’s arm, maybe even fold their hands together. And that unsettled her. She recoiled from it and kept herself locked where she was.

Nicola started to walk away and halted, staring back at her. “Are we going?”

“Uh… yes.” Abagail shook herself and started to walk.

They were shoulder to shoulder as they went outside and met Cal with the vehicle. Abagail ushered Nicola into the vehicle first before sliding next to her and shutting the door. She relaxed into the seat of the car, tempted to close her eyes and truly rest. But something prevented that, something she couldn’t name quite yet.

“Did you and Ted get along when you were younger?” Nicola asked as Cal pulled away from the rehabilitation facility.

“Ted’s much younger than me.” Abagail furrowed her brow as she looked over at Nicola. “Why do you ask?”

“Trying to make conversation. When I was younger, there were times I wanted to kill Alanna and times I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and never let go.”

“The joy and privilege of being siblings.” Abagail gave her a wan smile, knowing full well that that was the expected answer. But she and Ted never had the traditional sibling relationship.

“Yeah, it is. Warren never understood my relationship with Alanna.”

“He wouldn’t.” Abagail rubbed her hands together. “And his father and I were poor examples.” Abagail sighed.

Nicola scoffed. “Yeah. Maybe he wouldn’t have turned out to be such an entitled asshat.”

Abagail nearly choked. She slowly turned to look at Nicola with wide eyes. “I can’t believe you said that.”

“Why? It’s true. Not once did he come to visit Alanna, and you’ve already done that.”

“He never…” Abagail’s breath left her lungs. “You two dated for years.”

“Yeah. We did.” Nicola frowned and shook her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have⁠—”

“Just because he’s my nephew doesn’t mean you have to filter yourself around me. I know what kind of man he is.” Abagail reached over and took Nicola’s hand in her own. “And I know what he did to you.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” Nicola locked her lips together and they thinned into a line that was barely visible.

Abagail wanted to ask more questions about that. She wanted to know what Nicola wasn’t telling her, but she was acutely aware that this wasn’t the time or the place, and that while she had Nicola’s trust, she didn’t have it that fully yet.

If that was ever going to happen.

“You and Alanna are very close.”

“We are.” Nicola smiled, genuinely this time. “We have been since the accident, but even before then we were, too. She’s my baby sis. It’s going to take hell on earth to keep me away from her.”

Abagail nodded slowly. Oh to have that kind of family. “Good. You need each other.”

“We do.” Nicola looked out the window, turning away and effectively ending the conversation.

Abagail settled into the seat, watching Nicola carefully. What would it be like to have a family like Nicola did? One that was supportive and loving. Elia had that, and Abagail had gotten a glimpse of that growing up with her. Elia’s mother had nearly taken her in as one of her own, but Abagail had never quite fully relaxed into that ease of a relationship with her. She’d always kept her at an arm’s length.

But Nicola?

Maybe something could be different there.

Maybe this could work.

nineteen

“Do you ever not work?”

Nicola plopped down onto the sofa and eyed Abagail over. She was glued to her phone, and she had been since they’d walked into the house on the cape. And this was so unlike Abagail—at least what Nicola had seen of her so far.

“I take many vacations throughout the year.” Abagail flipped through something else on her phone quickly, not even bothering to glance up at Nicola.

“And now?”

Abagail sighed and set her phone onto her knee. “This wasn’t a planned trip, and while I can take the days because there’s nothing urgent going on, it does mean that I need to prepare Ivy for my absence.”

Nicola pressed her lips into a thin line. She wasn’t sure she’d ever have a job like that, one where she could simply take off whenever she wanted to. She definitely wouldn’t be a boss over someone. Hell, she could barely manage to keep herself together.

“But why do you work?”

“Because I have a job.”

“Abs…” Nicola dragged out the nickname.

Abagail glanced up at her then, a curious look on her face, one that Nicola wasn’t quite sure what to do with.

“It’s clear your family has money. Warren never really talked about it much, but you don’t have to work, do you?” Nicola played with the edge of her T-shirt, not quite sure where this line of questioning was coming from. “Like, you don’t need the income.”

“No. I don’t.” Abagail wrinkled her nose and went back to her phone. “But there’s more to work than income.”

Nicola vastly disagreed. If she could spend every minute at home with Alanna, taking care of her and not working, then she absolutely would. But unfortunately, the things of life required money, and she needed a job to pay rent on an apartment she didn’t have, to put gas in her car and maybe get insurance on it next year, and to occasionally have a full-blown meal that actually filled her belly.

“I think a hard work ethic is extremely attractive on a person, don’t you?”

Nicola shivered. She did find that attractive. It was also a quality that Warren didn’t have but Abagail did. Equally so, Nicola didn’t have it. And she knew it. The list of jobs that she’d had was getting close to the triple digits, and every time she found one that was decently stable, she’d be pulled away by some drama with Alanna.

She swallowed the lump that suddenly lodged itself in her throat.

“I find work not only a distraction from the mundane, but I like to keep my hands busy.” Abagail looked over at her now, dragging her gaze from Nicola’s eyes and down her throat to her chest, over her waist to right between her legs. Abagail lingered there, her cheeks reddening and her body tightening.

Just what exactly was she thinking now?

“Not something I think you’re unaware of.”

“No,” Nicola answered, her voice cracking on the word as her body started to react to the lingering gaze.

“Why haven’t you had a job? Truly, because I don’t think it’s because Warren told you that you couldn’t work.” Abagail put her phone down on the edge of the couch.

Nicola sucked in a sharp breath. Abagail might be distanced from her family, but she wasn’t ignorant of them. She shook her head slowly. “He did tell me I wouldn’t have to work as soon as we got engaged.”

“But you weren’t working before that.” Abagail settled her hand on Nicola’s knee and gently stroked her with her fingers. “Why?”

“Alanna,” Nicola whispered. “Well, not because of her but because of her. It’s a mess, and I’m the only one she really has. We have an aunt, but ever since she got married—which was before our parents died—things got complicated and distanced with her, and she tries, she really does. But she has so many issues on her own, and Alanna—she needs me.”

Abagail shook her head quickly, gripping Nicola’s knee hard. “I didn’t say Alanna didn’t. But you also deserve to live and do the things that you want to do.”

No one had ever said that to her before. Not even Aunt Simone. Well, she had, but not so directly, and at the same time, there was an undercurrent of responsibility for Alanna in there. But that was also here now, but this felt...different. Nicola couldn’t place why exactly.

She shivered and shook her head again. “I need to take care of Alanna.”

“At the cost of your own stability and happiness?” Abagail raised that pesky eyebrow, and they both knew full well that the conversation they were having now was so different from the one that Nicola had started. This wasn’t about work anymore—it was about values.

“I’ll do anything for Alanna.”

“Hmmm.” Abagail’s lips pressed into a thin line. Nicola suspected that she was thinking something, scheming something, and while Nicola wanted to ask what it was, she was a little scared to find out just exactly what that was. “And when do you start doing things for yourself?”

“I-I don’t.” Nicola bit her lip and dropped her gaze to Abagail’s mouth. “Unless you count everything I’ve done with you in the last couple of weeks.”

Abagail chuckled, a slow seductive laugh that turned Nicola on in a second. “I think it’s a perfect way to be a bit selfish.”

Nicola’s lips quirked upward, and she moved swiftly, straddling Abagail on the couch, her knees digging into the cushions. “We’re definitely really good at being selfish together.”

“We are.” Abagail slid her hands up Nicola’s thighs to her waist, moving her palm to the center of Nicola’s chest. “I’ll have the next payment to you by the end of this week.”

“You don’t need to pay me for this week.” Nicola bent down and brushed her lips against Abagail’s ear. She closed her eyes, breathing in her scent, the roughness of her short hair against Nicola’s cheek. Her heart pattered away. Was she really going to say this? Was she really going to break the hold that Abagail potentially had on her? “You’ve already paid more than enough.”

“Nicola…” Abagail dragged out her name, curling her fingers behind Nicola’s neck and holding her close.

They breathed in each other’s scents. Nicola swore she could hear Abagail’s heart thudding wildly. Abagail’s lips pressed against her jawline once and then twice.

“It was never about paying you,” Abagail murmured.

Nicola shuddered, tension she didn’t know she carried sliding away and vanishing. What was that? Nicola turned her face into Abagail, closing her eyes and just staying in this moment. How much had that actually been weighing on her?

“But you paid so much already…” Nicola objected.

Abagail tightened her grasp. “You don’t owe me anything. Do you understand?”

Nicola’s heart trembled. She stared directly into Abagail’s eyes, seeing deep into her in a way that she never had before. Nicola leaned in, pressing their mouths together. Was there a soft side to the Kerrbox family that Nicola had never experienced before? Was there a tender and caring side to Abagail?

“There are so many broken systems in our world. If a little money can ease the suffering one of those systems causes, then why not use it instead of letting it sit there?”

“Abs…” Nicola’s heart trembled.

She’d never seen this side of this woman. Any time they had encountered each other before, Abagail had a stiff upper lip and barely made a move in any direction. Brushing her fingers across Abagail’s cheek, Nicola pulled in on herself. There was so much more to Abagail than she’d anticipated.

Nicola leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Abagail’s cheek, then her other one, then her forehead. Abagail seemed to melt underneath her, but so did Nicola. Melting at the hands of this woman who was so cold and icy up front but had a sizzling, burning passion underneath. Nicola breathed in Abagail’s scent, centering herself.

“I don’t deserve someone like you,” Nicola murmured before kissing her again. “I’m not hardworking or generous. I take everything I can get and keep it.”

“Keep it?” Abagail turned Nicola’s chin upward, so they were once again looking deep into each other’s eyes. “You don’t keep it.”

Goosebumps ran up Nicola’s arms and a shiver throughout her entire body. Her breath caught in her throat, her heart skipping a beat.

“You give it away more freely than I do.” Abagail’s thumb moved from Nicola’s chin to her lips, brushing across them in the most tender moment the two of them had ever shared.

“I need…” Nicola stopped. Her heart was in her throat, making it so hard to speak. She tensed and pulled away, putting more weight on her heels than before. “I need a minute.”

Nicola scrambled off Abagail’s lap. She spared her one glance before dashing out of the room and straight up the stairs to the room that Abagail had given her. She shut the door and pressed her fist to her chest. Her heart pounded so hard that it hurt, her shoulders tense from the pain, and her head on the verge of exploding. What the hell was wrong with her?

This was an arrangement they’d made together. It was nothing more than that. She couldn’t possibly have found more than that in Abagail. Could she? She couldn’t have found someone who actually challenged her, cared for her, accepted her. Because Abagail Kerrbox was anything but that. She was cold, distant, hateful and vengeful even.

Nicola had seen it for years.

But this Abagail—Abs, she corrected herself.

This woman was so different from the one she’d made herself out to be, and this woman was someone that Nicola was quickly falling very hard for. Sliding onto the bed, Nicola threw her hand over her eyes to block out all the light. Her brain spun in ridiculous directions, completely unable to stop the spin and turmoil and questions.

The knock was soft, but it was enough of an intrusion that Nicola jerked. She clenched her jaw hard and stared at it.

“Nicola, can we talk a minute?”

Abagail’s voice wasn’t firm and cold, but warm and imploring. One part of Nicola told her the last thing she wanted was Abagail to come into that room and see her like this, but another part of her had such a longing to be back in Abagail’s arms and pressed against her—not sexually. Not like they’d done so many times before, but like they’d been on that couch. In each other’s spheres in a way that was far more intimate than anything else they’d done.

“Nicola?”

“Y-yes, come in.” Nicola pushed her hands into the bed and moved to sit, leaning against the headboard with her knees bent and her eyes glued to the door.

Abagail stepped inside slowly, almost hesitating for a brief second before she stepped to the edge of the bed. “May I sit?”

Nicola nodded, and immediately she found herself reaching for Abagail’s hand to curl their fingers together in a tight grasp.

“What did I say?” Abagail asked, genuinely curious.

Nicola’s heart snapped in two. “You didn’t say anything, I promise. It’s not… it’s not that.” She dragged in a steadying breath. This was it, wasn’t it? This was the decision that she had to make about whether or not to share more than they’d already shared. “I’m not someone who experiences a whole lot of kindness.” There. She’d said it. Nicola wasn’t even sure she could raise her gaze to look up into Abagail’s eyes and see the reaction.

“Kindness,” Abagail repeated, the word sounding somewhat odd on her tongue, like it didn’t quite belong, or perhaps that it did but that it wasn’t used often enough to be comfortable. “The world can be a cruel place, especially for young women who are left in shambles after a death and are the sole responsible members of their family.”

Nicola’s eyes locked on Abagail’s then. Something in the way she said that… “You, too?”

Abagail gave a short curt nod. “The world isn’t built for women like us, and we have to make kindness whenever and wherever we can.”

Nicola’s eyes watered. No one had ever said something so generous to her, something that so succinctly put in place why she felt the way she did or how much she’d truly struggled over the years. Because it wasn’t just taking care of Alanna and dealing with the grief of losing both of her parents in one fatal car accident. It was this. The upward battle that she’d have to fight no matter what the circumstances were.

“I don’t want to tear you down, Nicola. I never want to do that.” Abagail reached up and cupped Nicola’s cheek. “I want to build you up with everything I can possibly do for you.”

Nicola surged forward and pressed their lips together. She scraped her dull nails against the nape of Abagail’s neck. She parted her lips and slid her tongue out, begging for Abagail to touch her in the same way. She wanted this more than she wanted the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks. She’d always wanted something like this.

Abagail hummed, leaning down and pressing Nicola heavily into the mattress. Nicola wrapped her arms around Abagail’s back and pulled her closer. She needed this—true connection and understanding. Why had it taken her so long to find it in someone? And of all people, it was Abagail.

Aunt Abagail?

No, that didn’t have the right ring to it anymore.

Nicola nipped at Abagail’s lower lip and hummed, pushing her hips up into Abagail’s body as she completely melted for this woman. Someone who was willing to give her kindness when she didn’t deserve it. No, maybe she did deserve it, and she just hadn’t found anyone who was willing to give it to her before.

This was Abagail, a woman who had made her own way in the world, who actually enjoyed working even though she didn’t have to. Someone who was doing her damn best to take care of the people she felt responsible for.

Not unlike Nicola.

They weren’t all that different. Despite the wealth gap, the age gap, the life-experience gap—she and Abagail were so similar. Sliding her hand against Abagail’s back and pulling her blouse up so that she could touch skin, Nicola said the only thing she could think of because all other words escaped her.

“Make me come for you.”

twenty

For you.

Those words rippled through Abagail’s body, straight from her ears down between her legs. What was Nicola doing to her? Because this was so much more than just fucking for fucking’s sake. And Abagail never did anything more than that. But each time she looked at Nicola, she saw a younger version of herself, someone who just couldn’t get her feet under her no matter how many times she tried, and damn it, Nicola was tenacious when it came to that.

Abagail allowed Nicola to pull her blouse over her head, their mouths finding their way back together in an instant. This house was so much warmer than her house outside of Boston. That’s all this was, right? The space was built for romantic encounters and lazy days

The latter was one of the reasons Abagail loved coming out here. To get away from the hustle and bustle that was work and the city—this was the perfect counter to that.

For you.

Those words rang through her ears again. What had Nicola meant by them? Nothing about their fucking so far had been soft, and most often, it was Nicola attempting to make Abagail orgasm so many times that she was ready to pass out or her knees gave out. Abagail trailed kisses down Nicola’s neck over the top of her chest and down to the thin line of skin that was exposed between her pants and her shirt.

Abagail kissed her there—hot skin against cool lips. Nicola’s fingers never stopped against her hair, sliding through the short strands and tugging every once in a while. Abagail pressed the flat of her tongue against Nicola’s skin and tasted her. Salty at first, but then filled with a sweetness that Abagail never wanted to lose.

For you.

Well, Abagail would be damned, but she was going to make every second of this encounter count. She’d sort out the rest later. Pushing Nicola’s shirt up slowly, Abagail followed the edge of the fabric with her tongue and with kisses and with gentle scrapes of her teeth. Her heart raced when she reached Nicola’s breasts, when she had Nicola sit up slightly so they could remove the fabric entirely from her body.

Abagail was left with Nicola’s hardened nipples on her small breasts, and her chest rising and falling as she lay back and waited with open expectation on her face for whatever Abagail had in store for her next. Abagail didn’t immediately touch her there though.

She took the tips of her fingers and as lightly as possible trailed them down Nicola’s chest from shoulder to hip before sliding them to her side and moving them back up. Nicola shuddered, and her breathing increased. Abagail kissed her neck with an open-mouthed kiss and then did it again and again. She settled into this moment, realizing far too quickly just how much they both needed it.

Whatever had happened downstairs, while it had seemed so benign at the time, wasn’t. Abagail could see that now whereas twenty minutes ago, she’d been completely oblivious to it. Nicola wasn’t just asking about work. She was diving deeper into who Abagail was, what made her the woman she was today and how she functioned in the world.

And Abagail had to dig deep to find the answers to Nicola’s questions—truthful answers—and ones she normally would avoid giving. Pressing her lips to Nicola’s left nipple, Abagail gave her a gentle kiss before moving back down her body. Something in her told her to get Nicola as naked as possible as quickly as possible. She wanted Nicola underneath her, writhing because of her, sliding against her.

For you.

Well this wasn’t for Abagail. This was for Nicola. And Abagail was determined to make that as true as possible. Sitting up, Abagail stared down at Nicola’s pliant body, the way her lips were still damp and slightly parted, the hooded look in her eyes.

“Take your pants off,” Abagail said, but it wasn’t a command. It was beseeching. “I’m getting the strap.”

Nicola’s lips quirked upward at that, and she started to move as Abagail slid off the mattress. She had to trek back to her room, which thankfully was just next door, so she could grab the suitcase that she’d brought for the week. With toy and lube in hand, Abagail padded barefoot straight back to Nicola’s room, finding her with knees parted, pillow under her head, and eyes glued to the door. But she wasn’t touching herself.

Why was that so unexpected?

Unhooking her slacks and sliding them to the ground along with her underwear, Abagail immediately stepped into the strap. She made sure that everything was tight and in place before reaching behind her back to unhook her bra and stand in front of Nicola. Her heart hammered so hard that she wondered if she’d break a rib.

Words caught in Abagail’s throat, and she couldn’t think of anything to say. Nothing sexy, nothing demanding, nothing to even keep the conversation from before going. Nicola patted the mattress next to her and scooted over slightly, as if she sensed the inner turmoil in Abagail’s mind, the turmoil that was threatening to very quickly take over and ruin every step they’d taken so far.

“Come here,” Nicola beckoned.

Abagail moved of her own accord, climbing onto the bed and lying next to Nicola. Their mouths were against each other again, gently teasing and comforting each other with the sliding of their tongues and mouths. Abagail pressed her full hand against Nicola’s upper back and pulled her in tighter.

Nicola curled her leg around Abagail’s hip and rolled them so Abagail was back on top and nestled between Nicola’s thighs. Their mouths were against each other again, kisses becoming more and more feverish by the second. Nicola wrapped her legs around Abagail’s and locked her ankles, pulling Abagail in tightly against her.

“Make me come for you,” Nicola repeated.

“This is for both of us,” Abagail answered, finally having the words to respond. “We’re here to do this together.”

Nicola nodded up at her, their eyes locked together as if they were finally in tune and prepared for whatever was going to happen next. And perhaps they were. Abagail raised up on her knees and snagged the lube she’d dropped on the edge of the bed. She squirted some onto her fingers and coated the dildo from base to tip. Then she slid her fingers against Nicola, adding the lube still on her fingers to the moisture Nicola already had.

“We’re doing this together,” Nicola answered, angling her hips up and turning them so that Abagail would have better access.

Abagail slid one finger tentatively inside Nicola, making sure that she was ready and open for the toy. She didn’t want to hurt her in any way, and this wasn’t something they’d done before. Abagail teased her, sliding her finger in and out and touching her clit lightly with her thumb. She would work Nicola up into a frenzy, and then she would fuck her slowly, building that orgasm so that it would last and last and last.

Nicola gasped and then hummed, rocking her hips against Abagail’s hand as she continued to tease. It wasn’t long before Abagail added a second finger, knowing that Nicola could so easily take even more. Would fisting be a thing they could try at some point? Not tonight for sure, but maybe someday.

Pressing her mouth over Nicola’s breast, Abagail sucked and teased her nipple this time. The moment was finally here to heat this up and take it to the next step. She wanted Nicola to scream her name when she came, to desperately try to hold herself still and be completely unable to, to writhe underneath her uncontrollably.

Abagail added a third finger into the mix, using her palm to tease Nicola’s clit while she sucked on her breasts one after the other. Nicola’s entire body pulled taut, no doubt slowly becoming overwhelmed with pleasure and sensations that she couldn’t focus on just one with the way Abagail was touching her.

“Abs… Abs… Abs…” Nicola chanted as she rocked into each press of Abagail’s fingers against her.

The rhythm they’d found was perfect and exactly what Abagail had wanted for each of them. But still, there was more to come, and Abagail was going to make sure that Nicola had the experience of a lifetime.

“Ready?” Abagail asked.

Nicola nodded, her lip between her teeth and her cheeks red with arousal. “Fuck me.”

Abagail’s lips quirked to the side in an amused smile. She removed her fingers, only to take the dildo and press it against Nicola’s opening. She went slow at first, wanting to make sure that each inch of the toy caused pleasure and not pain. She wanted Nicola to accept her entirely and not try to push her away, even if it was just her body doing that and not her heart.

As soon as she was inside, Abagail leaned over Nicola and planted her elbows on either side of Nicola’s head. She bent down and kissed her hard as Nicola wrapped her legs around Abagail’s hips and locked her in place again. Their kiss was sloppy, wet, messy. Nicola was the first one to move, rocking her hips up and down since Abagail hadn’t started moving yet.

Not one to let things linger, Abagail slowly started a rhythm that she could both keep up with for a while and that would tease Nicola to the brink of chaos before it’d tip her over the edge into oblivion. She pulled back to stare down into Nicola’s eyes, to her hair sprawled out on the pillow around her head like a halo, to the smile that wasn’t leaving Nicola’s mouth at all.

But Nicola wasn’t having it. She hugged Abagail tightly, pulling her down so they were pressed together chest to chest and joined at the hips. Abagail continued to thrust, though it was far shallower now than before. Nicola grunted. Abagail strained to keep her body in time and her legs from giving out from the strain of using muscles that she hadn’t used in ages. Sure, she was in shape, but even this was trying for her.

“So close,” Nicola whispered, and those words were music to Abagail’s ears.

She held on as Nicola careened through her orgasm, crying out but not screaming Abagail’s name. Pity, maybe that could happen next time. Abagail slowed her thrusts to gentle movements for a while until she truly felt that Nicola had relaxed entirely and come all the way through the orgasm.

Nicola kissed her, clasping both of her cheeks and holding Abagail to her as she deepened the embrace. Abagail’s eyes fluttered shut, and they moved together as they lay next to one another. Abagail trailed her fingers down Nicola’s side from the back of her shoulder to her hip and back up again. The movement was gentle and comforting somehow. Abagail furrowed her brow as she thought through that. She’d never felt that with one of her flings before. She’d never felt this relaxed with them, where she could genuinely fall asleep right now and actually get good sleep. Where she’d feel safe and cared for.

Was this what relationships were like?

She felt that with Elia, not in the same sense, but that safety and comforting feeling were the same. But with Nicola there was something else, something sexual. And Abagail loved the way those three things intertwined together to bring them to right here and now.

Abagail was drawn back to the moment by Nicola touching her cheek and drawing her in for another slow, deep kiss. Abagail settled against Nicola, erasing those thoughts from her mind and focusing only on the warm body in her arms. This she knew she liked. And this she knew she could do.

Nicola pushed up, moving swiftly to straddle Abagail. She shimmied down Abagail’s legs with a wicked look on her face before she bent down and took the entirety of the dildo into her mouth before slowly pulling it out. She swirled her tongue around the tip as she stared directly at Abagail.

Shuddering, Abagail’s nipples hardened with arousal, and she shook her head. “What are you doing?”

“Enjoying you as much as you enjoy me.” Nicola chuckled as she hooked her fingers into the straps and started to pull it off Abagail’s hips and down her legs. As soon as she was free from it, Nicola pressed her face between Abagail’s legs and pushed her knees farther apart. She nuzzled her nose into Abagail’s curls and breathed in deeply. “I’m definitely going to enjoy this.”

“Enjoy away then.” Abagail raised her hands above her head and grasped onto the edge of the pillow. She was going to live for this moment as much as she could. And if she got a comforting nap out of it later, well, then she’d take that too.

Nothing could be better than this.

twenty-one

Nicola swirled the glass of wine as she stood in the kitchen and cut up pieces of cheese for the charcuterie board she was making them. Abagail had disappeared mid-morning to get some work done in the den, and Nicola had entertained herself puttering around in the kitchen.

Their relationship had shifted.

The heat and fire and passion that they approached every conversation and interaction with before had shattered into a calm comfort that Nicola was finding quite settling. And settled wasn’t something that she typically felt. She took a sip of her wine and froze.

Abagail’s voice reached her ears, but so did a man’s.

A family man’s voice.

Warren.

Nicola closed her eyes and leaned against the counter, her knuckles turning white against the counter as she gripped it. Her entire body pulsated hard with fear, with disdain, with the lovely little world that she and Abagail had built crashing down around her.

Because what the fuck was Warren doing there?

She was frozen on the spot, not sure whether to walk out there and pretend like everything was normal or to hide away in the kitchen and pretend like she didn’t exist. Surely Abagail wouldn’t be able to get rid of him for the night so they’d all be stuck there together, and she wouldn’t be able to hide.

Her stomach twisted from the turmoil of decisions. She hadn’t wanted the reality of this situation to come crashing down on her. She was fucking her ex-fiancé’s aunt. And it had all started because she’d wanted revenge on him for dumping her in the manner that he had, for cheating on her for the entirety of their relationship, for being the pitiful woman who had put up with it and turned a blind eye for years.

Nicola tapped her fingers against the countertop and stared out toward the living area where they all no doubt were. What was Abagail saying? Nicola couldn’t quite make it out, but surely she wasn’t admitting to the fact that Nicola was there, was she?

That’d put them both in the direct line of fire. Nicola had no idea what to do. If Abagail was here, she’d know what to do. She’d know the exact moves that would need to be taken. Nicola picked up the knife and then set it back down. Then she reached for the wine glass, but she couldn’t make her fingers clasp it.

Fuck, she needed to get out of this stupor.

Immediately.

“Nicola?”

She jerked with a start as Warren stepped into the kitchen, followed closely by Abagail and Chaya. Nicola’s heart sank at seeing the woman who had replaced her, the one who was going to take everything that she had dreamed of having, everything that she wanted and more. But it wasn’t her dreams. Not really.

Warren had been a means to an end, and she’d put up with him for so long because she’d needed him—well, needed what he could provide for her. And she hadn’t even been brave enough to be the one to end it.

No, she’d waited for Warren to⁠—

“What are you doing here?” Warren’s accusation flung through the kitchen was a bucket of ice water on Nicola’s head.

She looked up at him, wide eyed, back to being that emotional girl who he’d dumped and told she wasn’t worth his time and effort any longer, that she wouldn’t ever measure up to his Aunt Abagail, and that she’d never be the one to earn approval to be his wife. Perhaps she would have if she’d had someone to support her.

Someone like Abagail.

“Do you work for her now?” Warren pointed at his aunt with wide eyes. “Jesus, Nicola, you couldn’t even get a proper job in all this time, and now you’re cooking your poison food for my aunt? Are you trying to send her to an early grave?”

“Warren,” Abagail said, stepping between them. “Nicola doesn’t cook for me.”

That was very much the truth. Nicola couldn’t remember one meal that she’d made for Abagail aside from this one, because Abagail had a private chef who made all of her meals ahead of time. Nicola had seen the benefit of that, even though she still preferred a bowl of sugar-filled cereal in the mornings.

“I was making us a late afternoon snack.”

Why had she said that? She’d cringe if she thought it would do her any good, but she knew it wouldn’t. Warren was on the war path based on his tone, and she was going to bear the brunt of everything he did and said in the next few minutes. Nicola had no doubts of that.

“Why are you here?” Nicola asked, trying to keep her tone as innocent as possible. “I thought this was Abs… Aunt Abagail’s house.” God, how that correction had hurt to make. Nicola flicked her gaze to Abagail, hoping that it had gone unnoticed, but the hard stare back at her and the stern look told her it hadn’t.

She didn’t know what to say or do in this situation. They hadn’t talked about this. They hadn’t planned for it. Yes, she’d initially wanted Warren to find out all about what was going on and feel the pain of that situation, but Nicola was pretty damn sure that he wouldn’t feel a thing knowing that Nicola and Abagail had amazing sex almost every single night and rarely ever thought of him.

“Chaya and I decided to come to the Cape for the weekend.”

Of course they did. Nicola had never been allowed in this house before even though Warren had taken many trips here over the years. Maybe this was where he was doing the majority of his cheating—at least the long term cheating, the one that involved Chaya. Nicola’s stomach sank again.

“To my house,” Abagail stepped into the conversation finally.

Nicola had wondered if she would.

“Without my permission.”

Warren’s jaw clenched, and Nicola knew that he was working hard to keep his anger in check. Surely Abagail could see that too. All the people in this room knew him well enough to know what he was like when he was mad.

“It’s the family home.”

“No.” Abagail shook her head, putting her hand out in front of her as if that would help her make her point. “This is my home. And I’ve let you and your family stay here on occasion in the past, but I never intended for you to have full access to it without permission.”

Warren stuttered. “I-I-It’s our family home.”

“No, it isn’t,” Abagail stated again. She pointed to Chaya. “And we wouldn’t have the problem of both of us showing up here if you would have simply asked if the house was full this week. But it’s my home, so I don’t have to seek permission to stay in my own home.”

Nicola’s cheeks burned. When was the question going to come up? When was Warren going to figure out that they were fucking? Surely he wasn’t that dense, was he?

“Fine, we can both stay here,” Warren fired back.

“Absolutely not.” Abagail put her hand out in front of him like a crossing guard with a stop sign. “You will head back tonight.”

Warren squinted, flicking his gaze from Abagail to Nicola and back again several times over before he paled. “What the fuck? Are you two fucking?”

Bile swirled in Nicola’s stomach. Here it was. She knew she wouldn’t be so lucky as to escape this, and now she just had to figure out how bad the drama was going to be and how much Warren was going to yell at her.

“You’ll do anything for a few bucks, won’t you?” Warren stepped forward, getting closer to Nicola’s space.

She’d barely said anything since he’d walked into the room, knowing full well what direction this argument was going to go, and she knew that it was going to turn into an absolute disaster. And here it was, fears becoming reality.

“This isn’t for the money.” Nicola’s voice was weak, the words barely breaking through the frenzy of emotions and the rush of static to her ears. She was ready to cry, to burrow her way into a hole, or to drown herself in the ocean.

Because this was for the money.

At least that’s how it had progressed, and if asked, she couldn’t lie to him. She could never lie to Warren. Not like he could lie to her.

“Love then?” Warren guffawed loudly. “Don’t feed me a line of bullshit. I can smell it a mile away. You’ve always been desperate for cash so you can funnel it to Alanna. And Aunt Abagail is full of cash. You found an easy target, and you took advantage of it.”

“I’m not a weak woman who is easily taken advantage of.” Abagail literally stepped between them.

Nicola looked up, finding Abagail’s back to her and Warren glaring at her over the top of Abagail’s graying head.

“And neither is Nicola. You underestimated her for years while you two were in a relationship together, and that’s to your own disadvantage. She would have made an amazing wife, and she certainly would have been a better fit for this family than you are.”

“Aunt Abagail!” Warren squeaked, not used to the admonishment.

“No. I’m not stopping there.” Abagail squared her shoulders even more. “This is my house, and Nicola is a guest here. You’re not. And neither is Chaya.” Nicola could hear the sneer in Abagail’s tone as she called the woman by her name. If she wasn’t here, what would she have called her? “So you will respect Nicola. In fact, you’ll respect her even outside of this house. It’s time for you to grow up, Warren. You’ve spent your entire life coddled, and you’ve grown so entitled that you couldn’t even tie your own shoes if you wanted to. Enough is enough.”

“A-are you cutting me off?” Warren stammered.

Abagail scoffed. “I probably should. But not yet, anyway. I’ll think about it going forward, but I expect you to get a job in the next four weeks. I expect you to start paying your own bills, and I expect you—like we discussed before—to actually tell Chaya’s father about everything in your relationship.”

What did that mean?

Did Abagail know about the cheating? Did she know just how long Chaya and Warren had actually been together? That Nicola had been little more than an arm piece for those last few months until Warren had lost his patience and broken up with her because she wouldn’t do it for him?

God, Nicola was an idiot.

Of course Abagail knew.

This was her family. Not Nicola’s. And she seemed to have a very tight grasp and close understanding of exactly what—and who—her family did. Abagail was never ignorant. And Nicola needed to stop forgetting that.

Nicola grabbed the glass of wine and chugged what was left of it. Warren threw her another glare and shook his head slowly.

“Are you two sleeping together?” he asked, but it was far more an accusation than anything.

Nicola could hear the words he hadn’t said ringing through her brain. The ones she knew he wanted to say, but he was restraining himself because Abagail was in the room, and even though he wasn’t on her best side right now, he wasn’t an idiot enough to put his full asshole face forward.

Whore.

Slut.

Cunt.

He’d thrown those words at her before, whenever he wanted. Or when he was drunk and wanted to accuse her of cheating on him even when she wasn’t, and he was the one cheating. What had compelled her to stay in that relationship for so long? What had kept her there when she should have left?

Because she should have left.

So many times.

“Get out of my house.” Abagail’s voice was low, dangerous almost. She stayed standing between Nicola and Warren, keeping the line of protection in place and firm. Did she understand what Nicola was feeling? “I won’t stand for you insulting a guest of mine, or anyone for that matter. Learn some goddamned manners, Warren.”

“Aunt Abagail!”

“No. Get out.” She stepped forward, forcing Warren to take a step back.

Nicola watched with rapt attention as Abagail forced Warren to walk out of the house. She stayed right where she was, glued to the kitchen counter. It was her lifeline now, in a way she’d never expected it could be.

Closing in on herself, Nicola barely registered when the door was closed and the house stilled. She went back to chopping up the cheese and the meat for the board she was building, focusing on the one thing that she knew she could do and not screw up. At least she swore she could.

“I’m so sorry,” Abagail said as she stepped back into the kitchen. “I didn’t think…”

She trailed off, but Nicola refused to look up. She continued to cut the meat and put all her energy into that. It wasn’t until Abagail covered her hand on the knife that she stopped chopping. She removed the knife and set it to the side, reaching up and turning Nicola’s face so that they were looking at each other.

Before Abagail even had a chance to say anything, Nicola jumped in. “I’m fine.”

“It’s obvious you’re not.” Abagail caressed Nicola’s cheekbone with her thumb. “He’s gone now.”

“I know.” Nicola looked down between their bodies, focusing on her bare toes. She took a steadying breath, realizing that she needed to calm herself down. She’d been so triggered in a way that she hadn’t expected. “I’m fine. I promise.”

“Nicola…” Abagail looked deep into her eyes this time. “You never told me it was that bad.”

Nicola rolled her eyes and shook her head. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Don’t lie to me, Nicola. We at least agreed on that, didn’t we?”

Pursing her lips, Nicola’s heart thumped wildly. But she nodded. She had agreed to that with Abagail, at least to an extent. “Yeah. I’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes to collect myself.”

But Abagail didn’t let go. She held onto Nicola’s hand and kept her close. “Talk to me, Nic.”

Nicola couldn’t. Even if she wanted to, which she wasn’t sure she did, she couldn’t make words leave her throat and form on her tongue. Instead, she moved in, wrapping her arms around Abagail’s back and pulling her into a hug. She buried her face in Abagail’s shoulder and neck, breathing in her scent and molding herself into the heat of Abagail’s skin.

She stayed there in the cradle of Abagail’s arms far longer than she’d anticipated. And when she stepped back, she steadied herself and plastered on the smile that she knew the world expected of her. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

“Are you sure?” Abagail asked.

“Yeah.” Nicola gave her a saucy wink. “Feel free to join me if you want.”

Sex would be such a welcome distraction, but something in the back of her mind told her that Abagail was going to give her the space that she was truly craving.

“Talk to me, when you’re ready.” Abagail squeezed her hand tightly. “I’ll be here.”

Saying nothing else, Nicola headed up the stairs to the bathroom. She craved the white noise that the shower would create, the heat that would ease the tension in her muscles, and the time that it would give her to think. If she actually wanted to do that. Until then, at least she knew that Abagail wasn’t going to let Warren railroad her. If she stayed in Abagail’s presence, she’d be protected from him at least.

The rest of the world still remained a danger.

twenty-two

“Hello?” Abagail frowned as she lifted the phone to her ear.

What the hell was Estelle calling her for? She’d spent the last fifteen hours trying to erase Warren and Chaya from her memory and she’d completely failed to do so.

“Abagail.” Estelle’s marginally warm tones reached her ears, but they also carried with them a fake tonality that set Abagail on the edge of her seat.

Instead of tensing, she purposely relaxed herself into the couch and crossed an ankle over her knee. She wasn’t going to let whatever was coming bother her, and she was pretty damn sure that it was going to be a whole lot coming at her.

“What can I do for you, Estelle?” Abagail already knew what was happening. Warren had called his mother, and she was now calling Abagail to check out everything that Warren had told her. And then there was going to be a fight. Either that or Warren had actually kept his mouth shut for once and Abagail was going to be asked for money.

“Warren said you were at the Cape this week.”

Check one for the former. Abagail clenched her jaw and had to work hard to keep from tightening her grip around the cell phone. She didn’t want to accidentally break it with her frustration. “I am. He showed up uninvited to my home here. I told him he wasn’t welcome this week.” And I’ll be changing the locks as soon as possible, Abagail added in her head. She wasn’t about to tell Estelle that. She really needed to make sure that only the right people had the keys to the locks on her property.

“I’m so sorry about that. He thought he’d take Chaya there to get away. All the wedding planning is stressing her out.”

Abagail pressed her lips together tightly at that one. She had zero comment on the matter. Well, that was a lie. She had a whole lot to say, but she didn’t want to actually say it. Not to Estelle anyway.

“He said you were with… Nicola?”

Oh there was the question that Abagail knew was coming. And she’d already started to work on a way to answer it. One that wouldn’t implicate anything between them. The look in Nicola’s gaze last night when Warren had finally left was one of fear and trembling. As much as she’d wanted Warren to know in the beginning that this was entirely based out of revenge, it was absolutely clear that she didn’t want that now.

“Nicola is here, yes.” Abagail brushed her fingers over her knee, as if there was lint there that she needed to get rid of it. When the energy was too much, she stood up and paced the den back and forth and then stopped at the window.

Nicola was outside, standing on the beach with her back to the house. The curls of her hair moved in the breeze as she stared out at the sea. What was she thinking about? Was she worried? Pained? Abagail froze on the spot, wondering and worrying all at the same time.

“What’s she doing there? The engagement is off.”

Abagail hummed. She wished she could see Estelle’s face. It’d be easier to detect the nuances of what wasn’t being said, but the tone of her voice and the slight waver under her words lent quite a bit to the understanding Abagail needed.

Estelle hadn’t fully wanted to make this phone call.

But there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for Warren.

Which was his biggest downfall.

“The engagement is off, yes. And now Warren is engaged to Chaya and planning a wedding with a woman he’s been officially in a relationship with for no more than a few weeks.” Abagail bit the inside of her cheek. She was straying very close to what she didn’t want to say.

“He and Chaya have a long history⁠—”

“Yes, they do.” Abagail continued to watch Nicola from behind, the way she stood so still frightened her. This wasn’t the Nicola that Abagail had come to know in the last few weeks. This one was despondent and without the flair of attitude that Abagail adored. “But that doesn’t mean he can treat his ex-fiancée like dirt either.”

Was that too close to the truth Abagail was avoiding? Well, screw that. Nicola deserved better.

“He’s been chasing her around and making her life miserable. She has nowhere to go, she’s homeless and living out of her car, and she’s trying to support her family. Warren left her in a lurch, Estelle. Because your son has no compassion toward anyone but himself.” Abagail crossed her arms. Her breath caught in her throat when Nicola turned around, seemingly staring directly at her through the window.

“They’re no longer together, Abagail. She’s not a part of this family anymore.”

Abagail agreed with that sentiment, although she’d also state that Nicola was never actually a part of the family to begin with. Warren and she had never married, and no formal connection had ever been drawn up. “That doesn’t give him the right to trample all over her.”

“Warren’s a good kid.”

“He’s not a kid anymore.” Abagail swallowed the lump in her throat, Nicola still staring directly at her. “And he needs to grow up.”

“You need to send her back where she came from.”

Abagail snorted loudly, unable to control herself anymore. “Where she came from? That’d be your son’s apartment, Estelle. He broke up with her and literally dumped her on the streets.”

“No, I mean back to—” Estelle stopped.

Did she even know where Nicola was from? What state she’d been born in or where she’d grown up? Did she even know that Nicola had hardly any family around? Something that both Estelle and Warren should be able to relate to.

“She’s from Amherst,” Abagail supplied, raising her hand to the back of her head and scraping her dull nails across her scalp. “And if you can’t even tell me that after they were together for years, I’m starting to think Warren doesn’t fall that far from the tree.”

“I think you’re barking up the wrong tree.” There was venom there that Abagail hadn’t been expecting.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re sleeping with her!”

Ah, so Warren wasn’t as stupid as Abagail had hoped. She pressed her lips together tightly. She hadn’t anticipated the accusation so directly. She probably should have, but she’d been lost in what Nicola was struggling with instead. Finally, Nicola turned away from Abagail and started to walk toward the water’s edge.

“You’ve never cared who I’ve been with before.” Abagail wasn’t going to deny it, but she also wasn’t going to confirm it. “Why would you start to care now?”

“This is ruining our family’s good name.”

Abagail choked on that. Their family? They’d never truly been a family except that they shared Warren by blood and Abagail held all the family money that Estelle wanted access to. She’d honored her late brother’s wishes, but she wasn’t going to stand there and take their abuse either.

“Our family’s good name isn’t in question,” Abagail seethed out the words. “And you’d best do to remember that.” She hung up before she could say anything else that would get her in deeper water. Estelle tried to call her back, but Abagail sent it straight to voicemail. In fact, she turned her phone off entirely and dropped it onto the table next to the couch.

Straightening her back, Abagail closed her eyes and listened to the silence in the house. It felt thick, in the same way the air feels when a storm is impending and there’s absolutely no escape. Nicola was still out by the water, and she’d said nothing to Abagail all morning, even when they’d shared a cup of coffee together in the kitchen and Abagail had tried to start a conversation.

A wedge had been hammered between them, and Abagail hated that feeling.

But more than that, she mistrusted it.

Warren had done a number and he’d barely even been in the house for more than twenty minutes before Abagail had booted him out. She didn’t want him anywhere near Nicola if she could handle it. She wanted Warren as far away from her life as possible—especially after that call with Estelle. What were they thinking? That they could bully her into bullying Nicola?

Like mother like son.

Abagail didn’t even have words for what Warren had said and done the day before.

What he’d probably done when no one else was present.

Abagail shuddered at the thought. He wasn’t the person she thought he was. She’d seen the tendencies in him over the years, but she’d never been so blatantly confronted by his abusive manner before. Not that she would have been. She largely kept as far away from the family as she possibly could.

How had he even become that way?

How could he think half of what he did was acceptable?

If there was one thing for certain that Abagail knew now, it was that Nicola wasn’t perfect. Which, if she thought about it, she intuitively knew. But she’d started to fool herself into thinking that they were perfectly matched. But this… this wasn’t that. Nicola came with a past and history and relationships—something that Abagail certainly didn’t come with.

And it was something that Abagail had never wanted.

Stepping outside into the breeze, Abagail left the house and walked the same path that Nicola had taken earlier. She trailed through the tall grass and the sand mixed with stone. She found Nicola with her bare toes digging into the sand, and her gaze off in the distance. Enough was enough already. Abagail breathed in the scent of the fresh salty water, the air as it wrapped its lovingly cold arms around her, and she did the exact same for Nicola.

The silence was killing her.

She stepped up behind Nicola, resting her chin on Nicola’s shoulder, and hugged her. Nicola instantly relaxed back into Abagail’s embrace, but still she said nothing. Abagail closed her eyes and listened to the sound of Nicola’s breathing along with the far-off call of the seagulls. This wasn’t what their week was supposed to be.

It should have been fun, full of lots of fucking, laughs, drinks, and everything that might relax the two of them. Instead, they were thrown into a turmoil that they might deserve but neither of them wanted.

“He won’t be coming back here,” Abagail murmured into Nicola’s ear. “Not now, not ever.”

She’d already made that decision. Warren wasn’t going to be allowed back into this house. It would be a sacred space for the both of them, and she wouldn’t let his anger and abuse taint it again.

“You shouldn’t make promises that you can’t keep.”

“I can keep this one. And I will.”

Nicola sighed heavily, and then she turned in Abagail’s arms. They faced each other, toe to toe, and Abagail deeply felt the pain in Nicola’s gaze.

“I didn’t know, Nic.” Abagail reached up and cupped Nicola’s cheek, brushing her thumb just under her eye and then across her lips. “I didn’t know what he was really like.”

Nicola’s lips pulled thin, and she glanced down at something between them. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“I’m sure I don’t.” Abagail raised Nicola’s chin back up so they could look at each other. “Whether I ever do or not doesn’t make what he did right. Nothing will ever make him right.”

Nicola’s lips quirked slightly, and there was a spark of light that Abagail had been missing all morning. Nicola was nothing but resilient. This woman had resilience in spades. How had she ever been able to manage that?

“He is an asshat, isn’t he?” Nicola laughed lightly.

“He is.” Abagail continued to stroke Nicola’s cheek and lips, keeping an eye on her. It felt as though she was finally pulling the real Nicola back to the surface, preventing her from drowning completely. And maybe that’s all this was. Maybe Nicola had been plunged into the depths of something she didn’t want to face, and now she was finally breaking through the water. “I promise I won’t let him hurt you,” Abagail whispered.

She leaned in, pressing their mouths together in a beautifully tender kiss. Abagail never would have believed she had it in her to do that until now. But Nicola responded to physical affection like this. She’d seen that several times in the last few days, and now again, she witnessed it. The rest of Nicola’s body seemed to melt, the tension in her shoulders washing away, and her body listing forward into Abagail’s.

Abagail held onto her tightly, wrapping her arm around Nicola’s back firmly before sliding her hand to the back of Nicola’s head and deepening the embrace. She wasn’t seeking more, and she wasn’t wanting Nicola to give in to anything that she was uncomfortable with. But she did want her Nicola back. The fun-loving, energetic soul that Abagail had come to admire.

That was the true Nicola.

twenty-three

“How was your week away?”

Nicola smiled at her sister, knowing full well that she didn’t want to go into the details of what actually happened in the last week or the fact that they had returned a few days early because Nicola just couldn’t stand to be in that house any longer. She gave Alanna a small smile and nodded.

“It was really good. I’ll try to convince Abagail to take you next time. We can roll you right out onto the beach.”

Alanna laughed, her entire body shaking. Nicola loved that her sister still had that light air about her, that the accident and their parents’ deaths hadn’t weighed on her. While Nicola pretended to be happy all the time, she rarely felt it. Most often she was burdened by the weight of her responsibilities, and it wasn’t until Abagail had so pointedly said that it sucked to be the one responsible for the entire family that Nicola couldn’t avoid that weight any longer.

“Was the beach nice?”

Nicola nodded. “Yeah. I spent a few days out there. Not the greatest weather for sunbathing.” She chuckled and snagged her sister’s hand and gave her a squeeze. “But I can see where it’d be really nice to go there in the summer. Minus the fact that everyone else will be there at the same time.”

Alanna nodded, the tightly curled fingers that she couldn’t move a warm balm in Nicola’s hand. “And Abagail?”

That was more than just a simple question. Nicola couldn’t deny that Alanna had paid very close attention to the two of them when they’d stopped by before. And Nicola still had no idea what to say about their relationship. Because they didn’t really have one, did they?

“I’m still staying with Abagail for a while. She’s given me a room that I can crash in.” Her mouth pulled into a tightly forced smile.

“Just a room?”

Nicola smiled genuinely then and rolled her eyes. “Yes, other things too, but not a relationship. Not like what you’re thinking.” Nicola sat back in her chair and put her feet up on the edge of Alanna’s bed.

“You’re not in a relationship?”

“No.” That word hurt to say, which was unexpected. The pain from it ricocheted through Nicola’s chest, lodging somewhere behind her ribs and making itself known like a pebble stuck in the ball of her foot while she was trying to walk. Why was that? She and Abagail had never agreed to a relationship. In fact, every part of their connection—or whatever Nicola was going to call it that day—was about not being in anything but a sexual relationship. “She’s just helping me out since Warren’s an ass.”

Alanna sneered. “He is an ass. I never liked him much.”

“Yeah, I know.” Nicola gave a wan smile. She’d dealt with that for years and still had chosen to ignore the warning signs. When Alanna didn’t like someone, she typically was right about their personality. “But he’s gone now. I don’t have to deal with him again.”

Memories of the confrontation in the kitchen came flooding back, but they were shortly followed by the image of Abagail stepping in, putting herself directly in the line of fire, making sure that Nicola wasn’t going to face the brunt of whatever Warren had to throw at her. And despite what Abagail may have tried, Nicola had heard the phone calls afterward. The ones from Estelle, and there were a few, and some from cousins that Nicola had barely known existed before Abagail.

Eventually, Abagail had given up answering her phone.

“When are you going to get a boyfriend? Huh?” Nicola asked, giving her sister a pointed look. “I’ve been waiting all these years to try out my big sister glare on them, but I haven’t ever gotten a chance.”

Alanna’s cheeks turned bright red, and she refused to look at Nicola.

“Oh my God! Is there actually someone?” Nicola dropped her feet to the floor and leaned forward, lowering her voice and whispering. “Who is he?”

“There’s no one,” Alanna muttered, but Nicola could so very easily tell that she was lying.

“Tell me!”

“No, not yet.”

“Not yet?!” Nicola squeaked. “What does that mean?”

“I want to make sure it’s real first.”

“Real?” Nicola frowned. “Make sure what’s real?”

“Whatever it is.” Alanna rolled her eyes, and the red was receding.

Nicola wanted to ask so many more questions, starting with how the fuck Alanna managed to meet someone while she was essentially locked away in a rehabilitation facility.

“I promise I’ll tell you when I know something.”

“Know what?”

“Like if we’re actually in a relationship.” Alanna lifted her chin. “Wouldn’t you tell me if you were in a relationship?”

“Uh… yeah.” But would she? What she and Abagail were doing had felt far closer to a relationship in the last couple weeks than it had before, but even then, something wasn’t quite jiving there. Like there was a block and Nicola had no idea what it was or how to navigate around it or even call it out. If she wanted to, that was. Because ultimately, she wasn’t sure she did.

Abagail was a much older woman, nearly twice Nicola’s age, and she was Warren’s aunt. There’d never been any indication that Abagail had relationships in all the years Nicola had been familiar with the family, and she was pretty damn sure that was something Abagail wasn’t looking for.

Which left Nicola exactly where she was. Using their connection to her advantage for as long as possible. And hopefully they’d leave on good terms when it was time for everything to end.

“Abagail has been very sweet to help me out for a bit. I didn’t have a place to stay after Warren broke up with me, so it’s nice of her to give me a place for a bit until I can get a job and get my feet back under me.”

“I don’t think that’s all it is.” Alanna pointed her hand in Nicola’s direction. “And you’re in denial. And not the river, Sis.” Alanna laughed at her own joke, and Nicola couldn’t stop her responding smile.

“I’m not in denial about anything, Alanna.” Nicola stretched her arms over her head. “I just understand all the intricacies of what’s going on in a way that you don’t because I haven’t told you about all of them.”

“So tell me.”

“Like you, I think I’ll wait on that one a bit.” Oh, it felt nice to throw that back in Alanna’s face a little bit. But Nicola did it with a smile to soften the blow. She needed to figure out on her own what was going on before she added other opinions in to what was happening.

Alanna’s cell phone rang and her entire face lit up. Nicola knew that ringtone from a mile away, and she smiled as Alanna reached for her phone to answer.

“Aunt Simone!”

She put the phone on speaker, and just as Nicola was about to speak, one of the office managers, Paula, popped her head in the door. “Got a minute?”

Nicola winced. She was so tired of these confrontations. She just wanted to come visit Alanna without being talked to about some problem that had come up. But she had no idea what this issue could be about since Abagail had paid for everything. It wasn’t like she owed them money this time.

“Sure.” Nicola turned to Alanna and nodded at her. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

Alanna waved her off as she continued to talk with Simone. Nicola followed the woman out of Alanna’s room and into the main office where billing was done. Nicola had sat in this chair many times throughout the last few years, and all of it had given her an overwhelming sense of pressure and weight that she couldn’t ever fight her way out of.

“Is there something wrong with the account?”

“No,” Paula said, settling behind her desk.

“Is there something wrong with Alanna being here?”

“No.” Paula shook her head and raised an eyebrow in Nicola’s direction. “But I did want to connect with you about next month so we can prepare for it.”

Fuck. Nicola was the notorious customer that never paid her bills now. She should have seen that one coming but for some reason she hadn’t. Her stomach tightened to the point that sharp pains moved into her sides, and her shoulders ached from being so tense.

“I thought everything was up to date with payments.”

“It is.” Paula nodded. “But not for next month.”

“But I have a month.”

“You do. But I want you to be prepared for it this time.”

That was a dig if Nicola had ever heard one. She shuffled her foot against the floor, thoroughly scolded. Of course she’d gotten herself in over her head. That was her middle name. Nicola squared her shoulders.

“I have a new job, so it won’t be a problem.”

“Good.” Paula nodded firmly. “I would hate to run into the same situation that we ran into last month.”

“And what situation is that, exactly?”

“Where someone donates their hard-earned money for your cause.”

“Excuse me?” Nicola furrowed her brow and shook her head sharply. Paula had no way of knowing that Nicola knew exactly how everything had been paid, and the fact that she was extorting this into some kind of ploy to shame Nicola? Yeah, that was a hard pass for Nicola. If only Alanna didn’t need to stay there longer to get stronger before she could be moved to a different facility. And Nicola would definitely be reporting this.

Maybe.

If she had the time to figure out what she was going to say and the gumption to say it.

“Don’t be late this time. You’ve used all of your free passes.” Paula gave her a hard stare.

“Yeah. Not a problem.” Nicola stood up sharply and walked out of the room.

What the hell was she going to do now? She still had Abagail, but she wasn’t even sure she was being paid for that anymore, and even if she was, the only reason she would take the money would be so she could pay for Alanna’s care.

When she got back to Alanna’s room, she was glad to see that Alanna was still on the phone with Simone.

“Hey, give me the phone. I need to talk to her.”

“Sure.” Alanna looked slightly concerned. “Is something wrong?”

“Nah. Just need to talk to her.” Nicola held out her hand and waited for Alanna to say her goodbyes. Nicola immediately walked out of the room, down the hall, and stepped outside. The last thing she wanted was for Paula to overhear what she was going to say. “They’re already hassling me for next month.”

“Oh Nicola. I thought you’d made arrangements for a payment plan.”

“I did.” Nicola gritted her teeth. “But I won’t have enough to make a bulk payment, which is what they’re asking for now.”

“I can’t help this month. It’s been tight, and I’m trying to save up.” Something clashed loudly in the background of Simone’s phone. “You know why.”

Yeah, Nicola knew why. The impending divorce that Simone was always talking about and never actually filing for. Nicola bit her lip though. The last thing either one of them needed was for her to say something about that. It would end in an argument and the two of them not talking for a month. Which Nicola really didn’t need right now.

“I’ll figure it out.” Nicola ran her fingers nervously through her hair. Abagail was right in some ways. This was her responsibility, and it was about damn time that she started taking full responsibility for it. This was her burden to carry, and she needed to do that way better than she had been.

She wasn’t Abagail. She didn’t have family money to fall back on, and everything she’d won in the lawsuit was already gone. She hadn’t been smart enough to invest it well to make it last. If she had… well, she’d still probably be in this same damn situation.

It was time for her to get a job. One that she could keep, and one that would actually pay the bills.

And there was only one place she could think that might actually do that.

Abagail’s bar.

twenty-four

“Ms. Kerrbox, I think you might have a problem.”

Abagail furrowed her brow, her phone pressed to her ear as she listened to her lawyer’s voice. She hadn’t actually spoken to the woman in a few months, so this call had been relatively out of the blue for her.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been petitioned by Estelle to determine your competency.”

“What?” Abagail’s voice rang through her office. She immediately stood up and moved to the door to shut it. She didn’t need anyone else to hear this conversation, and she certainly didn’t need to know what Ivy would think of her then. The amount of family drama that had come to her place of work lately was overwhelming. She was typically so good at keeping the two separate. “What are you talking about?”

“The paperwork came here instead of to you, I think because she was trying to prove that you were too incompetent to take care of it.”

Abagail shivered as she listened to Marta continue to prattle on.

“But they’re questioning your competency to keep control of the family funds and businesses. She’s determining whether or not you should be in charge and if you need a guardian.”

“That’s bullshit.” Abagail sat down heavily in her office chair, rubbing small circles into her temple. “Never in the thirty plus years that I’ve known this woman has she put her foot forward like this. My brother? Yeah, he absolutely would have pulled some kind of bullshit like this. But Estelle? She’s a weak-hearted soul who rolls over before she—” Abagail stopped. She tensed. “It’s not Estelle. I mean, she’s doing it, but Warren’s behind it.”

“Your nephew?” Marta answered.

Abagail nodded and pinched the bridge of her nose. She should have known better than to think that he was going to walk away so easily. “It’s complicated family drama that they’re now bringing to the courts. Wonderful.” Her lips thinned as she frowned. How was she going to explain this one to Nicola?

“This petition could put a whole lot on pause for you, but I don’t think much will come from it in the long run.”

“Of course it won’t. They’re full of horse shit.” Abagail cringed. Anger burbled its way into her chest and continued to boil away. She wasn’t quite ready to let go of it yet. She tried to relax a little because she wasn’t mad at Marta. She was mad at Estelle, and she was really ticked off at entitled Warren.

Did he think that he’d end up with control of it all? He wouldn’t even know what to do with it. Abagail had even taken great pains to create trusts that he couldn’t touch and ruin in the case of her untimely death. He and Estelle would be set up financially, but they wouldn’t be able to screw around with all the hard work that Abagail had put into it.

“What are the next steps?” Abagail asked. This was something completely out of her realm of understanding. She didn’t know the process. She’d never predicted or even anticipated that something like this could happen—at least not while she was actually competent.

“We wait for the courts to start the process of evaluations. We’ll argue that if—and I emphasize if— a temporary guardianship happens that it shouldn’t be either Estelle or Warren, or anyone from the family, actually. Do you have any suggestions as to who that could be?”

Abagail immediately knew who. “Elia Sharpe.”

“Will she be accepted by the family?”

“Not without prompting, but they don’t have any ill will toward her from my understanding. They don’t know her that well.”

“Right. We can argue for that if Estelle makes a motion for temporary guardianship. She hasn’t done that yet.”

Abagail started to take notes on a small pad that she had by her desk. She was going to spend the next few hours researching what all of this meant, that was for certain. And even better than that, she was going to cut her family off at the source. It was time they learned to swim.

She and Marta were on the phone for another hour and had a secondary meeting set up for later that week. Abagail waved to Ivy as she left the office with a concerned look on her face. Could she see through Abagail’s mask into the news she’d just gotten? Or was she concerned about something else entirely? Perhaps her ex-wife was wreaking havoc again.

It was a good thing Abagail had a meeting—yes, that’s what she was calling them now—scheduled with Elia tonight because she was going to have to tell Elia exactly what was going to happen in the future. Or at least a strong potential.

With her anger still burning after the phone call, Abagail stayed in her office until it was time to leave and meet up with Elia at her bar. They’d had this meeting scheduled since their last one, still trying to work through the damage that Abagail had caused at Thanksgiving.

Fuck, Abagail was useless sometimes.

Everything she touched lately seemed to be turning into a problem of its own.

Elia, and Abagail’s stupid decision to kiss her when that hadn’t really been what she wanted anyway.

Nicola, and… well, all the sexual things they’d done and then Warren walking in on them at the Cape.

Hell, if her family really wanted to get into the weeds, and they found out that she’d paid Alanna’s bill, they’d certainly throw that back in her face, wouldn’t they? Even though it was with her own money and not the family finances. Scraping her nails against her scalp, Abagail closed her eyes and tried to think.

Who had she become in these last few months? Because it wasn’t someone she liked. Not that she liked much of herself before, but she at least had an understanding of who she was. But now? She wasn’t even sure what she was doing. What she did know was that she needed to resolve whatever was between her and Elia, because damn, she needed her best friend fully back in her life.

The bar was full of people, which on a Friday night, Abagail would expect. She loved showing up here unannounced just to make sure that everything was working as it should and that customers were being taken care of. She still needed to do a deep dive into the books and see what her nephew had been up to with the bar, since he technically was the one who was running it. Though Abagail couldn’t remember the last time that he’d actually done anything in the realm of ownership or management.

She’d taken over since someone needed to be in charge and he flat out refused to learn the skills.

Abagail had a drink in her hand as she sat at one of the high-top tables and waited for Elia. The text had said Elia was only ten minutes away, but it’d take her a bit to find parking nearby or to walk to the location. It wasn’t the best for that, but the foot traffic certainly helped, especially when there were any events in downtown Boston that would funnel people by them—which actually happened a fair amount.

As soon as Elia walked through the door, Abagail instantly eased. That was what she’d mistaken for love and relationship. And it was that, it just wasn’t romantic. Elia had been absolutely right. Abagail didn’t do romance—ever. Smiling, Abagail stood up and held her arms out for Elia. She pressed a kiss to her cheek and sighed as she breathed in her best friend’s scent.

If only she’d spent some more time on herself, then perhaps she would have realized what she was feeling before she screwed up the only friendship that she had.

“Thanks for coming out here. Next time I’ll go to you.”

Elia hummed and her lips pulled upward into a smile. “I miss your bar.”

“Warren’s bar?” Abagail answered with a slight tease in her tone.

“It’s your bar.” Elia slid onto a chair, and Abagail mimicked her pose.

Abagail waved over a waitress so that she could get Elia a drink. As soon as that was ordered, Abagail straightened her shoulders and looked her best friend over. She couldn’t ever deny it, love looked good on Elia. She was happy and settled, and even though these meetings were tense, Elia still looked better than she did before.

“Can we perhaps skip through the bullshit and move straight to I’m an ass, and I apologize again?”

Elia froze, her brow furrowing as she locked her gaze on Abagail. “You’ve never been one for pleasantries.”

“No, but I’m tired of this. Aren’t you?”

“Tired of what?”

“This.” Abagail waved her hand back and forth between them. She wasn’t even sure what she should call what she was feeling—which was half her problem, she realized that—but she still didn’t have a word for it.

“Tired of what, Abagail.” Elia raised her chin up.

Damn Elia for making her do this work. Well, not really, but Abagail still hated that she needed to some days. “This tension, this hurt, this distance and brokenness that I’ve caused.”

Elia hummed, canting her head to the side as she eyed Abagail over. “And you want to apologize for it again?”

“Always.” Abagail glanced down at the table before flicking her gaze back up to meet Elia’s. “I want what we had back, not this new thing that I’ve made a mess of.”

“What happened to the Abagail who avoids these kinds of confrontations?”

“She’s on vacation.”

“A permanent one?” Elia asked.

“Unfortunately, probably not. But today, I sent her on vacation, and I’m not sure when she’ll be back.” Abagail downed the rest of her drink, fully intending to order another one. She turned to get the waitress’s attention when she froze.

Nicola stood in front of her, a tray full of drinks in her hand and a surprised look on her face as she equally seemed just as frozen as Abagail.

“Abs…” Nicola murmured.

Abagail frowned. “What are you doing here?”

“I uh… have your drink order.” Nicola placed the glass of wine in front of Elia and straightened her back again, still holding the drinks in place without tipping them over. That was a skill Abagail had never intended to master.

“You’re working here again?”

“Yes.” Nicola squared her shoulders, that defensiveness coming right back up into her body. Abagail hated seeing that. “I need to get back to my other customers.”

“Nicola.” Abagail reached out and touched Nicola’s arm to keep her attention. “You’re talking to the owner, surely they can’t⁠—”

“I can’t afford to be fired again because one of the Kerrboxes decides to mess with my job.”

Abagail put her hand up and pulled away from Nicola.

“I’ll put in for another drink for you.” Nicola nodded at her hard and then stalked off.

Abagail sat back heavily in her chair and sighed. What the hell was that all about? And how had Nicola managed to convince them to hire her back? She better not have used Abagail’s name to do it. Not that she would think any worse of Nicola for using whatever advantage she had, but she didn’t exactly want that on her record either—especially with Estelle and Warren coming after her.

“What was that about?” Elia asked, eyes wide with wonder.

“Nothing.”

“Oh that wasn’t nothing.” Elia pointed at Nicola. “What happened?”

Abagail dashed her tongue against her lips and debated for a brief second before she opened up. That’s what they were here for, wasn’t it? Diving back into friendship territory and away from whatever Abagail had dropped them into.

“Nicola and I have been seeing each other for a few weeks now.”

“Seeing each other.” Elia’s brow wrinkled. “You don’t use that phrasing when you’re talking about a fuck buddy.”

Abagail hummed and nodded. “You’re right, I don’t. What started as a quick revenge fuck turned into more, that’s for certain.” She played her fingers over the table and stared at them, debating exactly how to explain to Elia everything that had happened since the last time they’d met up. “I quite like Nicola. She’s spicy—in the bedroom—but also in life. She doesn’t hold back, and I appreciate that. Not a lot of people will.”

“Feisty?”

“Sure, that’s a better word.” Abagail’s lips quirked upward. “But she’s Warren’s ex, and that’s caused quite a few issues, some that she’s not even aware of.”

“You haven’t told her?”

“We haven’t had a chance to talk lately, and the latest issue I just found out about. I’m not sure I want to tell her.” Abagail felt like she was falling into a bottomless pit of something. Again, one of those big emotions that she struggled to label, not that she was all that willing to try either.

“Abagail…” Elia leaned in, putting her hand on top of Abagail’s to still the nervous movements that she was making with them. “Are you two still in a relationship?”

Abagail shrugged. “She’s still staying at my house, yes.”

“I didn’t ask that.”

“Yes,” Abagail answered, timidly. “I…” She glanced around the bar, making sure that Nicola wasn’t anywhere near them. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this one to end. There’s something about her, something that I can’t quite give up yet.”

“Is this an actual relationship?”

Abagail shook her head. “I don’t do relationships, remember?”

“Yeah, but this seems like more than just a fling.”

“It is,” Abagail admitted before she could stop herself. But she wasn’t lying to anyone. Nicola had waltzed into her life full of confidence and bravado, and she’d stayed because she’d shown her soft underbelly. Abagail was damn sure that Nicola didn’t do that often for anyone, and she was privileged to have been the one to see it.

“So are you two in a relationship?”

“You’re the one who said I was aromantic.” Abagail shook her head, giving Elia a hard stare. “Doesn’t that mean I don’t do relationships?”

“Sort of. It means you don’t generally do them, but it doesn’t mean that a romantic relationship is impossible. Or whatever it might be in the form that you find it in. For you, it might just be a really deep friendship with sex on the side, even if the other person has deeper feelings for you.”

“I do have an affinity for her.” Abagail froze as Nicola locked eyes with her from across the room.

“An affinity?” Elia’s voice reached her ears. “Well, that’s more than I ever expected from you, and it’s something I think you’d say about me.”

Abagail nodded her agreement, unable to look away from Nicola as she came closer with just a glass in her hand this time. She slid it onto the table and gave Abagail a look that she couldn’t quite decipher.

“Can we talk about this at home?” Nicola asked.

“Of course,” Abagail answered, reaching out and brushing her finger against Nicola’s before letting go. “I’ve got company anyway.” She didn’t even look at Elia, knowing full well that Nicola was aware there was someone else at the table with her. “We’ll talk tomorrow evening.”

Nicola nodded her understanding. “Thanks.”

When Nicola was gone and Abagail turned back to Elia, she knew she was in trouble. “What?”

“I think you need to seriously think about what it is you feel for her. Because that wasn’t the Abagail that I know and love.”

Abagail scrunched her face up. “I don’t feel anything.”

“And there we go again.” Elia picked up her wine glass and took a sip.

“Again?”

“Oh yes, right down into denial.”

twenty-five

“When were you going to tell me that you got a job at my bar… again?”

Nicola froze at the sound of Abagail’s voice coming at her from the library. It seemed to be Abagail’s preferred place to hang out in her home, and Nicola had almost walked the long way around to avoid it, thinking Abagail wouldn’t be home.

Guess she was wrong.

Now she really had no choice except to talk to her. Last night, Nicola had eyed Abagail every chance she got, their eyes locking on more than one occasion from across the room while she and Elia had talked. And Nicola had watched as she’d walked out the door to get in the car and have Cal take her home.

“Nicola, I expect an answer.”

She couldn’t escape now. Nicola plastered on a smile as she slipped into the library and found Abagail with reading glasses perched on her nose and a book on her knee. Was there ever a time that woman wasn’t reading?

Right, when she was getting her brains fucked out—which they hadn’t done in a while. Nicola slid into the chair right next to Abagail and crossed her legs. She’d slept in after coming home late, and she still needed to get to work early that day.

“I did go back to the bar and ask for my job back. After some explanation of Warren, they were willing to try to work with me again.” Nicola folded her hands and put them in her lap.

“Without talking to me first?” Abagail pulled her glasses off and pressed the earpiece to her lower lip, locking her gaze on Nicola.

“You don’t own me.”

“No, I don’t, nor would I want to. I have enough unwanted baggage I have to deal with.”

Nicola’s heart sank at that. Was that what Abagail thought of her? As a weight she had to carry around because Nicola was too stupid to take care of life herself?

“I needed a job. I need to start getting my life back on track.” Nicola clenched her fingers together tightly, and she could barely bring herself to look up at Abagail, but something drew her attention there.

“Yes, you do need a new job. I just thought… Well, since it’s my bar, I thought you’d tell me.” Abagail plopped her glasses back on and focused on her book again. “We’re going to have a guest for a few days.”

We?

What was Abagail getting at? Now she was talking like Nicola actually lived in the house when twenty seconds ago, she was calling Nicola a burden. Nicola glanced toward the door. “Oh?” It was the only thing she could think to say that might get her more information than Abagail was giving.

“Greer. You remember her from the bar that night we…” Abagail trailed off, and her cheeks reddened. She looked up from her book, turning to face Nicola full on. “The night we decided revenge tasted sweet.”

Nicola’s heart jumped. That’s right. That’s what she was here for. Revenge and fucking—she wasn’t really useful for much else in life. Even bartending, which she was fairly decent at, wasn’t panning out for her in the long run, was it?

“It did taste sweet.” And Nicola would give a whole lot to go straight back to that night and make different choices.

She didn’t want revenge. What she’d wanted was to forget, and Abagail had been an easy target to help her along with that goal.

And they’d both run away with it, and it had landed them here. In this odd push-and-pull relationship that neither was satisfied with. Nicola sighed and then bit her cheek. “I can quit the bar if you’re uncomfortable with me working there.”

“Why would that make me uncomfortable?” Abagail frowned slightly.

“Because…” Nicola had no idea what she was saying. She was grasping at clouds. “Because it’s your bar? Because it means you’re not paying me enough for my work here? Because Warren might come in and cause issues again?”

“Warren.” Abagail spat his name out like it was a curse.

Nicola jumped at the crack in her voice. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard Abagail that angry before. “Yeah, I mean, he caused issues last time.”

“Warren’s known for causing issues.” Abagail dropped her book onto the side table and pulled her glasses off. Immediately, she stood up and wandered to the window and crossed her arms, staring out of it. “He never knows when to stay out of a problem.”

“Problem?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Abagail spun back around. “I’m not going to stop you from having a job, Nicola.”

“But you seemed so mad about it.”

“I’m mad you didn’t tell me about it.” Abagail pursed her lips before shaking her head. “I won’t pay you anymore.”

“I-I’m not asking for that.”

“But that’s why you’re working, right? Because you need the cash.”

“Well… yeah.” Nicola curled her toes in her shoes. “I don’t like relying on you as my sole income, and I have to pay for the next month for Alanna.”

Abagail crossed her arms tighter. “So work.”

“I am working. I’m trying to get out on my own again. I don’t want to be a weight that you just can’t shake.” Nicola stood up then, energy coursing through her. She had no idea what to do next. To stay or go, or just get the hell out of dodge. She shook her head in disbelief and then started toward the door to the library.

Abagail caught her wrist and dragged her back around, staring at her in confusion.

Well, good, because Nicola was confused too.

“What are you doing?” Abagail asked.

“I don’t know,” Nicola whispered, the confession falling from her lips before she could stop it. “I’m so lost.”

Abagail nodded slowly. “I know you are.” She reached up and cupped Nicola’s cheek. “I’m not kicking you out, Nicola. I’m not putting you out on the street. You’re free to leave if you want to, but I… don’t want you to.”

“You don’t?” Nicola blinked harshly, tears stinging her eyes. Where the hell were those coming from? She hated this.

“No, I don’t.” Abagail moved in and brushed their lips together gently.

Did Abagail only want sex? Because Nicola could do that, at least for a while, but at some point, she was going to want more. No, scratch that, she wanted more now. That’s what this entire thing was about. Nicola wanted more with Abagail, and it was very clear from the beginning that Abagail wanted anything but.

“Then I won’t leave.” Nicola would take every advantage she had. She needed to save all of her tips so that she would be able to pay for Alanna’s rehabilitation facility at the end of the month and prove to them that she could do this. And sleeping in an actual bed with an actual shower attached to it meant that she could get better tips.

Moving in swiftly, Nicola pressed their mouths together. She pulled Abagail to her, tightening her grasp in Abagail’s clothes to hold her firmly. She made sure that the kiss felt possessive, that Abagail would know exactly what Nicola was after.

Sex.

Nothing else, right?

She could play the role that Abagail was asking of her for a little bit longer. At least long enough that she could formulate a plan for how she was going to get out of this. But she certainly needed to be a better fuck-for-hire than she had been in the last few weeks. She’d need to plan a better evening together between them.

Abagail moaned, leaning back slightly and pushing her chest and hips into Nicola’s body. Nicola trailed her hand around Abagail’s stomach and up over her breasts, squeezing and pinching her nipple through the material before sliding her hand up even higher. She nipped Abagail’s lower lip, right where she’d pressed the end of her glasses, and circled Abagail’s neck with her hand and tightened her grasp just enough to get her point across.

“I’m off tomorrow night,” Nicola whispered against Abagail’s mouth. “I expect that you’ll be mine then.”

Abagail gasped and shuddered. She answered with a kiss, one that was feverish and brutal. One that meant Nicola had to work hard to bring her brain back around to the entire point of why she was there. It was so easy to forget why she was there when they were naked and wrapped up together, when those soft moments happened between them, when Abagail wasn’t this hard, icy person that she wanted everyone to believe she was.

Or was Nicola making that all up?

Was she wanting to see that Abagail had soft spots when she actually didn’t?

Was Abagail exactly who she said she was?

A bitch with an ego and a heart that no one could break.

Abagail whimpered, and the sound sent shockwaves of pleasure through Nicola’s body and straight between her legs. If she had the time now, she’d push Abagail to the ground and fuck her. But she wanted the anticipation to be built up. She wanted Abagail to be thinking about what Nicola was going to plan for them next, because then she couldn’t be thinking about how she needed to kick Nicola out of the house and put her on the streets again.

Because while Abagail had paid to have her car fixed, Nicola really didn’t want to go live in it again. She’d been spoiled in the last month, and she wasn’t sure she was willing to go back to what she had before. Nicola ran her hand down Abagail’s body, sliding her fingers between Abagail’s legs and rubbing against her hard.

“I do hope that at whatever point this ends, you remember me fondly.”

Abagail’s breath hitched.

“I’d hate for you to think anything else of me,” Nicola continued as she rubbed even harder against Abagail.

On a moan, Abagail answered, “I could never.”

“Good.” Nicola moved her hand from between Abagail’s legs and immediately put their mouths together again. She put every ounce of energy and passion that she had into that kiss. Nicola knew she needed to end it, but at the same time, she couldn’t make herself pull away. Her heart hammered hard against her ribs, threatening to break them. Nicola tangled her fingers in the short hairs at the back of Abagail’s head, scraping her nails against her scalp and pulling Abagail into her again.

She used the moment to slide the perky, happy mask that she was so used to wearing back on, but it felt so wrong at the same time. She hadn’t needed to be that person around Abagail in weeks, and for some reason, now, she felt like she had to hide who she really was under it.

Abagail stepped forward, pushing Nicola back. They started to walk, moving across the library toward the door, but Nicola pulled back fiercely as soon as they reached the doorway. She gasped for breath, putting a hand between them to make sure that Abagail knew this wasn’t going any further today. Her lips tingled from the touches, from the anticipation, the arousal.

“I want you to write out a list of every single thing you want me to do to you tomorrow night. I want you to rank them from one to whatever, starting with what you want to do the most.” Nicola’s underwear was so wet already. She shifted her stance and knew she was going to have to change before she went to work. She should just let Abagail do whatever right here and now, but that would put a crimp in what she needed to plan.

“Anything?” Abagail asked, leaning forward and putting her hands on Nicola’s hips to hold onto her.

Nicola had to hold back a groan. “Yes, anything. I won’t guarantee that I’ll make it happen, but it’ll give me a good place to start when it comes to planning our night together.” Nicola flicked her fingers against the tip of Abagail’s nose. “I also want a list with everything you don’t want to do tomorrow night.”

“Ah, so there are limits.”

“There’s always limits,” Nicola answered, looking Abagail dead in the eye. “And I feel like we’re going to find a few tomorrow that we haven’t explored yet.”

Why had she said that? Because she hadn’t meant sexually. Something about the anticipation felt off, and she was trying to make everything sexier than it actually was, but it wasn’t working. She just kept coming back to the fact that she knew she wanted more, and she knew at the same time that Abagail didn’t.

They would never have their priorities aligned on this one.

That was a fact.

Abagail was unmarriable.

And Nicola secretly longed for the white dress, for the family, for the relationships that she knew she’d never have without finding someone else to share them with. She swallowed the lump in her throat and focused back on Abagail.

“Understand?”

“Yes.” Abagail cocked her head to the side and looked Nicola over carefully. “Is everything okay?”

Nicola started to shake her head before she caught herself and stopped. “Just peachy.”

Abagail brushed the backs of her fingers across Nicola’s cheeks so softly, so tenderly. “Will you talk to me about whatever it is that’s bugging you? Because something is.”

Nicola stuttered. She didn’t know what to say or do. This was the side that was so confusing to her. Was Abagail interested in more or not? Because everything said no except for these sweet moments, and before now, Nicola had clung to them. She’d praised herself as being the only one to have a little bit of insight into who this woman was under all her masks. Because Abagail hid, just like Nicola did.

They were two peas in a pod, weren’t they?

Instead of saying anything, Nicola leaned in and kissed Abagail hard. “I don’t want to be late to work. I expect those texts by five.”

And then she walked away.

She couldn’t answer Abagail. She had to keep this as professional as she could. Because that’s what this was—a working arrangement between them. Abagail paid her for sex, and Nicola was going to make good on her end of the deal.

She wouldn’t let feelings get in the way.

Not again.

twenty-six

Abagail’s knees were pressed into the area rug, her bare ass pressing into her heels, her hands behind her back and her head down. Exactly in the position that Nicola had told her to sit and wait in until she came home that day.

Which was taking forever.

And it wasn’t like Nicola had told Abagail when she’d be home. She’d figured her mid shift ended around six, so she’d be home shortly thereafter, but the clock on the nightstand had just ticked over to nine and Abagail was still sitting there.

Naked.

Cold.

Annoyed.

And fucking aroused.

Her entire body ached from holding this position, but she was dead set on Nicola finding her exactly where she was supposed to be, because while the punishment that Nicola had promised sounded intriguing, the rest of it sounded better. At least how Abagail had imagined it would be.

“Oh, you are here, perfect.” Nicola flounced into the room, leaving the door wide open.

Abagail glared at it out of the corner of her eye. Greer was in the house, and the last thing she wanted was for Greer to wander around and find her in this state of undress. Then again, perhaps that was the trap that Nicola was setting.

Because this definitely felt like a trap.

“Just stay right there.” Nicola giggled as she walked out of the room, the sound of plastic bags rustling itching Abagail’s ears.

She closed her eyes and released a breath, her shoulders curling over. When was this going to end? Because she was tired of waiting for whatever was going to come next, and now it seemed as though Nicola was going to make her wait even longer. Abagail was just about to get up when she heard feet out in the hallway, and she froze.

It was either Nicola returning or Greer wandering, and Abagail really didn’t want it to be the latter. That would be a disaster. With everything Greer was going through, and the fact that Abagail had told her to walk away from the relationships she was forming, this was going to tip her over the edge.

There would be judgment. And likely a phone call to Kam, Greer’s best friend, which would mean that Elia, Kam’s girlfriend, would know exactly what Abagail was up to. Abagail shuddered, her nipples hardening in the chilly air as the fear rampaged through her brain briefly.

“You are a good little pet, aren’t you?” Nicola patted Abagail’s head and shut the door behind her.

Abagail winced. Who was Nicola playing at being tonight? Because while she’d definitely exhibited some of these tendencies before, this was something else entirely. Abagail opened her mouth to ask what had crawled up Nicola’s ass when Nicola put fingers to her lips and shushed her.

“Oh no, we don’t want any of that tonight.” Her lips quirked upward, her eyes alight with mischief.

Abagail recognized that look, she’d seen it before, and this time it did the exact same thing to her as it had done before. Pleasure coursed through her and ended right between her legs. Nicola took a red scarf and wrapped it around Abagail’s head, tying it tightly at the back of her head.

Bending down behind Abagail, Nicola leaned in and pressed her lips to Abagail’s ear. “I couldn’t tie you up the way I wanted to with such short notice, so we’ll have to do that next time.”

Abagail shivered at the touch, at the feel of Nicola’s breath against her skin, at the fact that she was completely without control right now. What Abagail assumed was a second scarf was wrapped tightly around her wrists behind her back, the fabric soft against her skin but definitely keeping her from moving.

All she had were her other senses to help her focus on what was happening next. And damn did it intensify everything. She’d been blindfolded before, but Nicola’s energy and their sexual compatibility made this so much better than it had been any time before.

Next Nicola was at her ankles, tying yet another scarf around them. Abagail was unable to move, frozen to whatever spot Nicola guided her into. The fear of falling over reached her, and amped up her adrenaline, but so did the soft touches and swipes of Nicola’s fingers against her skin, against her shoulders, her collarbone, her nipples when Nicola tweaked them, to down between her knees that were still slightly spread.

Abagail gasped when Nicola slid two fingers deep inside her without warning. The resulting chuckle sent another wave of arousal through her. Abagail bit back another moan. The text had told her to be as quiet as possible until Nicola told her otherwise. And she’d nearly failed that command several times already.

Nicola’s fingers moved in and out of her, but Nicola avoided her clit easily. Abagail clenched her teeth together tightly, slowing her breathing as she focused on the sensations roiling around her body, telling her to lean forward or back or just let Nicola take control of absolutely everything. Which she supposed she was already doing.

“I’m going to put something in you, all right?”

Abagail whimpered. She’d told Nicola to get creative, and she had very little on either list that she’d sent her.

“I need an actual answer this time, Abagail.”

Oh the lack of nickname was stark. Abagail frowned at it. Since when did Nicola call her by her full name? Because that hadn’t happened in a while. She cleared her throat and nodded. “Yes.”

“You remember what to say if you don’t like what I’m doing?” Nicola brushed her fingers down Abagail’s chest, pinching her nipple hard.

“Yes,” Abagail said on a whine.

“What is it?”

“Marry me.”

When Nicola had sent that text, it sent a shiver through Abagail’s spine. But she hadn’t questioned it. At least not to Nicola. Instead, she’d accepted it for whatever it was. A game that the two of them had started, and one that Abagail was damn determined to finish.

Nicola reached behind Abagail’s back and picked something up. Abagail could see nothing, but she could feel something bulbous pressing against her opening, the cool plastic feel against her skin and heat. She sucked in a breath, holding it as Nicola spun the toy—what Abagail could only assume was some sort of vibrating egg—in her juices and then slowly pressed it against her.

Nicola nibbled on Abagail’s neck and down to the top of her chest as she continued to slowly press the toy into Abagail. She leaned into Abagail, holding her up when Abagail gasped and listed forward. They worked so well in tandem when it came to these things. Why couldn’t they be that way outside of the bedroom?

Was that something that Abagail actually wanted?

She shuddered as her body finally accepted the toy. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths to steady her racing heart. Why had that been so sensational? She searched blindly for Nicola’s mouth, wanting to kiss her, wanting to tangle herself up even more in Nicola so that they could maybe do this together.

Their mouths touched. Nicola pressed her tongue into Abagail’s mouth, pushing her back against the rug, gently laying her down and then climbing on top of her. The brush of her clothes was rough against Abagail’s skin. She wanted skin to skin, but she wasn’t sure she could actually ask for that. Nicola had been very explicit when she’d told Abagail not to talk.

With her knees no longer pressing into the floor, the tension in her back eased, and immediately all the discomfort she’d had before was gone. Abagail breathed deeply when Nicola kissed down her chest and covered her nipple and breast with her mouth, flicking her nipple with her tongue. Abagail lifted her hips upward, trying to adjust how her hands landed behind her back while Nicola pulled at her ankles to move them closer to her ass, which automatically spread Abagail’s knees apart.

Nicola’s mouth was immediately against her clit, and Abagail sighed at the touch. This was what she’d been longing for, the tender touch, the licks, the enticement toward orgasm that they were both obviously wanting. They were never at odds when it came to this.

But Abagail wished she could see Nicola, that she could understand what Nicola was thinking. Was the mask of happiness that she’d obviously been wearing gone? Was this her way of hiding from Abagail so that she couldn’t see what was really going on?

Maybe this was—Abagail moaned, her hips rotating from side to side as the vibrations from whatever toy Nicola had put into her ricocheted through her body. The vibrations stopped, and so did Nicola’s mouth. Abagail gasped at the lack of sensations, barely able to keep up with what was going to happen next.

She felt Nicola’s hair trailing against her stomach and then her breasts, but what was she doing? When would the touches start again? When would Nicola’s mouth be against her again? When would Abagail get off, finally? Abagail tried to close her knees together, but Nicola put her hands on them and pushed them back open, then she rubbed the red and surely marked spots from where Abagail was pressed against the rug for so long.

“We’re nowhere near done, Abagail.”

There it was again. That tone with her name. Abagail breathed in raggedly, trying to figure out where to place the emotion that she was hearing. Because it wasn’t teasing, that much she did know. Everything else about what Nicola was doing was teasing and testing, but this was something else entirely. But it was only when Nicola said her name.

Before she knew what was happening, the vibrations had started again, and she struggled to concentrate on anything. Abagail curled up tightly, this time without Nicola touching her at all through the vibration that went from slow and dull to sharp and fast. When it stopped, Abagail was gasping for breath and turning on her side.

“All the way over now,” Nicola cooed.

It took Abagail longer than she wanted to register what Nicola was asking of her, but Nicola didn’t seem to be in that much of a rush either. Back on her knees, Abagail pressed her shoulder into the floor, unsure of where to go next. Nicola’s hands against her helped to maneuver her exactly where Nicola wanted her—which was apparently right between Nicola’s legs.

The scent was brilliant and overwhelming. Nicola was as charged up and ready as Abagail was. Breathing in deeply, Abagail nudged her nose against Nicola’s body, breathing her in second after second. She wasn’t sure she’d ever forget that scent.

She drove her forehead and her nose into the top of Nicola’s pussy as she tried to align herself without being able to see what she was doing. Everything was by touch and scent. If she moved this way, then the scent got stronger, and the skin got softer. Abagail focused her entire body, tuning it into Nicola and just exactly what she wanted to do and taste.

She parted her lips, ready for the first flavor to reach the tip of her tongue, when the vibrations started. Whining, and pressing her forehead into Nicola’s leg, Abagail breathed through the sensations as they moved through her body, as they pulled her pleasure closer together and toward her.

Then it stopped.

Without giving it a second thought, Abagail dove into exactly what she wanted. She pressed her mouth on Nicola’s clit, trying to balance her position against Nicola’s body as she was still tied up and unable to keep her balance as well as she wanted. Thank God she still worked out regularly because that was coming in handy tonight.

She buried her nose against Nicola, her tongue flicking against Nicola’s clit before she sucked and then moved her head back and forth in rapid movements. The fucking blindfold was just annoying her now. She wanted to look up and see what Nicola looked like, see what reactions she was having crossing her face, splayed out in full glory on the floor in front of her. But the lack of a view, the lack of connection was so stark tonight.

Any other time and Abagail was certain she wouldn’t be feeling this, but now? Now she wanted more. She wanted the connection that they’d had before. She wanted to feel the bond that they’d created together.

She pulled away, the words on the tip of her tongue because she needed something to change immediately.

“Don’t…” Nicola breathed the word out hard.

Abagail could feel her moving underneath her, the slide of her body as she shifted from one position to the next.

“Don’t what?” Abagail asked, needing to know exactly what Nicola was talking about.

“Don’t you dare say marry me.”

She’d been about to. The words were on the top of her tongue, and they still were. This wasn’t what Abagail wanted. It wasn’t what either one of them needed.

“Why not?” Abagail asked.

“Because I need to come.” Nicola’s voice dropped, barely above a whisper.

Abagail calmed her breathing, surprised that the vibrations hadn’t started again. Perhaps Nicola had a controller that she was using on her instead of it just being an automatic thing. She dashed her tongue across her lips, tasting Nicola on herself. She was stuck, though, unsure which direction she should go next or what decision she should make.

Which was so unlike her.

Abagail was always decisive, and she never second-guessed something she chose to do. And she’d chosen this. She’d wanted this. They both had. But now? She wasn’t sure which way was up and which way was down, and that wasn’t because of the blindfold and ties.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Abs.”

There was the Nicola that Abagail knew. The one who avoided just like Abagail did, the one who was truly under the mask she was wearing tonight. Abagail pressed her lips in a kiss against Nicola’s hip and nodded for both of them.

“Fine. But you won’t do this again.”

Nicola started to object, but Abagail swiftly covered her clit with her mouth. The objection turned into a moan and Nicola’s hand was instantly in Abagail’s hair, pushing Abagail’s face deeper into her. Abagail focused on pleasuring Nicola, on every swipe of her tongue, on every move she made as she sucked. She wished she had use of her hands so she could ply Nicola with them, but they were still tied behind her back.

As Nicola rutted against her face, the vibrations started again, confirming what Abagail had thought earlier. Nicola was controlling them. That could be fun elsewhere, but not until they talked about whatever this was first. And that absolutely needed to happen.

Abagail moaned, breathing through the sensations as they pooled between her legs. It was so hard to concentrate on what she was trying to do to Nicola when the vibrations just kept ramping up and up and up. Eventually, she gave up even trying.

Her orgasm consumed her. Abagail couldn’t do anything but concentrate on it as she tried to keep herself upright and between Nicola’s legs at the same time. She breathed rapidly, her nose pressed to Nicola’s skin. When her ears stopped ringing, she could hear Nicola cooing at her lightly and bringing her down slowly, the gentle touches. Abagail gave herself a few more seconds before she covered Nicola’s clit with her mouth.

If Nicola wanted to get off, then Abagail would make sure that was going to happen. And then they were going to talk. At least that’s what Abagail wanted. Nicola cried out loudly, her body writhing under Abagail’s touch.

Abagail didn’t ease her through her orgasm though. Instead, she moved off Nicola’s body and rolled onto her back. Whatever spell Nicola had woven in the beginning was completely broken. Abagail wasn’t going to listen to her anymore. The words had been uttered and their moment of play had been shattered.

“Untie me,” Abagail ordered.

Nicola moved slowly, but she took the blindfold off first and then ties at Abagail’s ankles. Finally, Abagail turned onto her side to give Nicola access to the ties at her wrists. When she was finally able to ease her arms around the front of her body, Abagail lay flat on her back and breathed deeply. She could still smell Nicola if she closed her eyes, still taste her on her tongue.

“We need to talk,” Abagail said firmly. She wasn’t going to give up on this. It was something they should have done before now, and it was Abagail’s own fault for letting it slide. She was the responsible one in the situation, and despite how often Nicola seemed to come off as mature, she simply didn’t have the life experience that Abagail did.

Nicola shifted, getting up and standing. She started to clean up, toys littering the floor around them, all of them unused, and all of them brand new. Abagail hadn’t seen any of them before. When Nicola didn’t answer, Abagail stood up and snagged Nicola’s hand, forcing her to stop.

“Nic.”

Tears brimmed in Nicola’s eyes as she looked directly at Abagail. “Not tonight. Please, just… not tonight.”

“Then when?” Abagail asked, needing an answer to that question more than anything right now.

“I don’t know. I don’t have the bandwidth tonight.” Nicola turned her chin down toward the ground.

Was she embarrassed? Ashamed?

Abagail cupped her cheek and caressed the side of her face. She looked deep into Nicola’s eyes and saw something there she hadn’t seen before.

Fear.

“Tomorrow,” Abagail offered. “When you get off work.”

Nicola nodded, but that was it.

Abagail looked around the room again. There was quite a mess to clean up. She kissed Nicola’s cheek and then started to pick up. She wasn’t going to leave Nicola alone. Not just yet. Not until she knew that she was together enough to be on her own.

twenty-seven

“I didn’t think I’d see you back here.”

Nicola froze. As long as she was with Abagail, she’d never escape that voice, would she?

“Didn’t they fire you?”

“And rehired.” Nicola spun around to face down Warren, plastering on the best smile that she could and knowing that it’d be fake in the process.

Warren looked her over head to toe, his gaze almost hungry for her. Nicola held in her shudder, just barely. She hadn’t seen him look at her like that in a very long time. And she hated that he was doing it now. Wait… why was he doing it now? He was supposed to be with Chaya, and Nicola was last week’s trash that he really wanted to get the hell out of his family.

“Your favorite spot is open.” Nicola nodded toward the back corner where she knew Warren preferred to sit. “I’ll send over someone to waitress for you.”

“That’s fine.” Warren winked at her. “I think I’ll take you tonight.”

Was that flirting? Jesus, Nicola hated this whiplash that he caused. Saying nothing else to him, she jumped back behind the bar to catch herself a breather. This wasn’t what she’d anticipated tonight being. And she’d completely spaced how often Warren came to this bar to get drunk with his friends. Because he never paid for anything, which meant that she was going to take one for the team tonight and take no tip.

Fuck.

She really needed that cash.

And the bar was busy as hell, which meant she was going to be losing out on other customers and tips just to cater to an overgrown man-child who didn’t know the realities of life. Where was Abagail when Nicola needed her?

This was her bar, certainly she’d show up often for random checks to make sure that everything was running smoothly, and she did run an insanely tight ship. Except Nicola knew for certain that Abagail absolutely wouldn’t be there today.

Because they were avoiding each other.

Well, Nicola was avoiding, that was for damn sure. She really didn’t want to have the conversation that Abagail had promised they would have. She was scared of what the outcome was going to be. Because she was pretty sure that she’d be flat on her ass tonight and it wasn’t going to be from being fired at the bar this time.

Warren waved Nicola over. She sucked in a breath, plastered on another smile, and determined that she was at least going to serve him to the best of her abilities tonight. Maybe she’d still have one source of income when the clock struck midnight.

She spent three hours waiting on Warren hand and foot and ignoring some of her other customers so that she didn’t piss him off. She couldn’t stand for him to throw a fit and have her lose her job here again. Especially after she’d just gotten it back. She slid his new drink order onto the table in front of her and turned to leave when Warren grabbed her by the hips and pulled her down onto his lap.

Nicola squeaked and cringed. It was a damn good thing she didn’t have a tray or a drink in her hand because it would have ended up all over her.

“Warren, this really isn’t appropriate,” Nicola muttered, trying to push herself off his lap, but he held her there firmly.

“Oh, come on, Nic. Don’t you want just one more good time? You always were a good fuck.”

Nicola shuddered, shame and disgust warring a battle within her, and she wasn’t sure which one she wanted to win out in the moment. She knew which would win later. And she wasn’t looking forward to that spiral downward.

“I have other customers, Warren.” Nicola pried herself off his lap and made her way back to the bar without glancing back. She was lucky that he had let her go without much of a fight. Perhaps it was because his friends were still around, and she had that buffer to protect herself.

“He’s handsy tonight,” Tommie mumbled. “Then again, he’s always handsy.”

Nicola swallowed down that insult. Tommie didn’t know what she was saying when it came to the history that the two of them had. Or perhaps she did, and she just assumed that Nicola had known the entire time she’d been in a relationship with Warren. She had known, about halfway through it, but then what was she supposed to do about it?

“He’s a dick,” Nicola muttered, making another drink. “I’m hoping he’s drunk enough to leave soon.”

“Don’t cut him off. That’ll send him over the edge into disaster.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

It was another hour before Warren was alone at the table, all his friends gone, and Nicola actually hesitated to walk over there with another drink in hand for him. She suspected he’d be volatile. He usually was when he was in this state.

“Nicky!” Warren said loudly as she approached him.

Yep, this was going to go exactly as she thought it would.

Sliding the drink down, Nicola nodded at him. “I’m not sure how much more I should serve you.”

“Oh come on! I’m not that bad.” He snagged her waist again and pulled her down. Nicola sighed heavily, not really fighting it this time and just waiting for an opportunity when he’d loosen his grip and she’d be able to get up and leave. “You smell so good.”

Warren pressed his nose into her neck and breathed in deeply. Nicola cringed. God, this man was disgusting. What had she ever seen in him? Really? Because she had more self-worth than that. Didn’t she? At least, she liked to think she did.

“You’re engaged.”

Warren growled. “Did you get your claws into Aunt Abagail?”

“What?” Nicola turned around to look at him directly in the eye, frowning with confusion. She had no idea what he was talking about.

“I bet you did.” He snorted at her, genuinely.

Nicola tried to wiggle off of him, fear rising in her chest and clogging up her throat. She’d never thought he was capable of much, but this wasn’t the Warren she was used to seeing, even when he was in one of his moods.

“She cut me off, you know.” Warren pressed his nose into her neck again, breathing her in like she was some elixir that he couldn’t get enough of.

“What are you talking about?” Nicola finally managed to wrench herself loose and she stood up to face him down, putting her hands on her hips as she stared at him.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“No. I don’t.” Nicola frowned. “What do you mean she cut you off?”

“She cut me off entirely, Nic. And I know you had something to do with it. Why else would she do it now? After we broke up?” Warren sneered.

“You mean after you broke up with me,” Nicola mumbled under her breath. She crossed her arms and frowned. “I didn’t tell her to do anything, and if you knew your aunt well, then you’d know that no one can make her do anything she doesn’t want to do.”

“Bullshit!” Warren yelled, his words slurring.

“Warren.” Tommie stepped next to Nicola, hands on her shoulders and moved her toward the side. “Your car is out front.”

He grunted.

“It’s time to go, it’s closing time,” Tommie added.

Warren looked around the bar like a lost little boy. Had he really not noticed how late it had gotten? Nicola held her breath. This would be the time of truth, wouldn’t it? He was going to either leave without a fight, or cause another commotion and potentially put her job on the line.

Getting up from his perch, Warren nearly fell over. Nicola managed to catch him. “I’ll get you out to the car.”

She wrapped an arm around his waist and started to walk with him. She’d never thought that she’d have to do this again. The alcohol reeked on him. Her stomach churned when it reached her nose. She tried to hold her breath against it, but it was impossible.

Sure enough, his driver was outside, and Nicola scrunched her nose at it. “I thought you said Abagail cut you off.”

“She did,” he slurred again.

“So how are you still paying for your driver?”

Warren grunted but didn’t answer the question. Well, he was going to be in for a whole world of surprise when he finally got the rude awakening. Maybe Estelle was still paying for it. Nicola pushed Warren inside. He grabbed her by the chin and dragged her forward like he was going to kiss her, but she jerked back and out of his reach.

“Take some painkillers when you wake up in the morning,” Nicola said as she slammed the door shut.

God, what had she ever seen in him? He was such a loser.

Nicola went back inside to finish out her shift and clean everything up now that they were officially closed. She’d stayed late to get the extra hours, and now she was regretting her decisions. Her feet were dragging, and she just wanted to go home and climb in bed and pass out.

But she was supposed to talk to Abagail.

Nicola swallowed the lump in her throat—or at least she tried to. It didn’t exactly go down easily. Taking her time with cleaning, she finally wrapped up when it was clear Tommie was done and ready to go home. Sliding behind the wheel of her car, Nicola drove back to Abagail’s and parked in the garage. She’d honestly thought about just sleeping in her car that night. She had the blankets and makeshift bed she’d used still in there.

At this point, she just wanted to be done with this family. They were taking up too much of her head space, and she wanted out. But that would be impossible. She needed the cash from Abagail, and she still worked at a bar owned by them. Unless she found another job, then she was certain that she was going to run into Warren and Abagail on occasion.

Well, maybe not Warren if Abagail had truly cut him off.

Speaking of which, why would she do that?

It made absolutely no sense. Nicola climbed out of her car and made her way inside. She stopped by the kitchen to grab herself a drink and a snack and then made her way to the library. The side lights were still on, and she knew she’d find Abagail in there.

What she didn’t expect was Abagail asleep on the chair that she so often occupied so she could read. Nicola stood quietly, watching Abagail’s deep breathing. Had she ever watched Abagail sleep? She didn’t look comfortable at all. Nicola sat down in the chair next to her, munching on the granola bar and drinking the water she’d snagged while she waited.

Maybe Abagail would wake up in the meantime.

But she didn’t.

After cleaning up her mess, Nicola went back into the room and brushed her fingers along Abagail’s arm, trying to stir her. Either way, Abagail needed to get into a bed. Nicola couldn’t imagine the kinks in her neck that she’d wake up with if she didn’t move to a better sleeping surface.

“Abs,” Nicola said quietly, her voice hushed. “Abs, wake up.”

Abagail didn’t budge from her sleep.

“Abagail.” Nicola shook her arm a little harder and used a much louder voice.

Abagail jerked with a start, her entire body lifting up from the chair before she locked eyes on Nicola and instantly relaxed. She looked confused though. Nicola softened her touch.

“You fell asleep waiting for me.”

“Right.” Abagail pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes tight, clearly trying to wake up more. “What time is it?”

“Three.”

Abagail frowned. “Three?”

“I worked a bit of overtime.”

Humming, Abagail nodded. “You were avoiding talking.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Nicola gave a light chuckle.

“Maybe.” Abagail ran her fingers through her hair and over her face again.

“Do I get to avoid it a little longer?”

“Yes.” Abagail slid forward on the chair. “But not much longer. Come on, it’s bedtime.”

Abagail stood up and picked up her glasses from the side table. She didn’t even look at Nicola as she walked out of the room. Nicola cringed. Had she already messed all of this up? She followed closely, turning the lights off as she went. When they made it to the top of the stairs, Nicola followed Abagail to her bedroom.

But then she froze.

Abagail gave her a look of confusion and distress. Nicola stepped closer and pressed against Abagail, putting on the fake smile that she was getting so good at using. “I thought we could…”

“No,” Abagail answered.

Nicola frowned but stayed pressed against Abagail. “But that’s what I’m here for?”

“It’s three in the morning.” Abagail stepped back, her hand on the doorknob. “I have to work in the morning.”

Nicola wasn’t sure what to say to that. She’d never actually been rejected before when it came to sex, and this was part of her job when it came to Abagail. It was what she was being paid for, and if they didn’t have sex, then she wouldn’t get paid. Right? Wasn’t that how this worked?

Nicola took another step closer, but Abagail put her hand up. “Not tonight, Nic. I’m too tired.”

“Right.” Nicola bit her lip as she looked Abagail over. She barely had the energy herself, and it wasn’t like she’d actually planned this out. She’d thought she was coming home to one of those conversations no one ever wanted to have. “Then tomorrow?”

“We’ll talk tomorrow.” Abagail straightened her shoulders. “Whether or not you stay late at work.”

Well, Nicola had her answer with that, didn’t she? She had to find a backup plan and soon. Because she wasn’t sure how much longer this arrangement was going to work out to her advantage.

“Okay,” Nicola answered, frowning. “See you tomorrow.”

Abagail said nothing as she shut the door. Nicola stared at it, her mind blank as she tried to figure out what to do next. She needed to keep up her end of the deal for sure. But at the same time, nothing about this felt right anymore.

twenty-eight

“Uh… Abagail?” Ivy knocked on Abagail’s door, a concerned look crossing her features.

Looking up from her computer, Abagail frowned. “What?”

“Your nephew is here, and he’s… making the office uncomfortable.”

“Bloody hell.” Abagail stood up, making her way quickly around her desk and toward the door. When she got to the main office, Abagail froze. Warren was leaning over her secretary, finger in her face, and anger in his. His cheeks were puffed up, eyes wide and red, and he looked like he was ready to take everyone there down.

“Warren Kerrbox!” Abagail’s voice rang through the room. “My office now or I’m calling the police.”

Warren stood up straight, his anger dropping now that he was thoroughly scolded.

“Now,” Abagail added, just in case he didn’t understand how pissed off she was. She waited as he walked in front of her toward her office, and as soon as they were inside, she shut the door and glared. “If you wanted me to give you back access to your funds, this was a poor way to convince me that you’re ready for it.”

“What?” Warren shook his head. “But I need that money.”

“What you need is to grow up.” Abagail crossed her arms across her chest and continued her glare. She was over this petty, immature behavior. “And I’m tired of waiting for that to happen.”

“Aunt Abagail!”

“No. You shut up and you listen to me.” Abagail shook her head at him, not quite sure what to say or do next. This should be a conversation for Estelle to have with him, but all she’d done over the years was coddle him. Abagail had been nothing more than an enabler along the way, and she was tired of it. “It’s time for you to grow up.”

Warren shook his head and scoffed. “I’m an adult.”

“Yeah, you are! That’s the point.” Abagail pursed her lips. She was going to have a lot of damage control to do when it came to her office that day, and if Warren dared to step foot in her office again, she really would call the police.

“Dad left me that money.”

“No, he didn’t.” Abagail sighed heavily, moving toward her desk to sit down in her chair. She was tired of this, and if no one had told him how this worked, then it was high time she did. Even if it wasn’t her job. “You have a trust from your father, yes, but that’s it. That trust doesn’t provide you with much income. A thousand a month at most.”

“What?” Warren frowned, wrinkles forming in his forehead. “But we’re well off. Mom always said⁠—”

“The family is, yes. Individually, we’re not rich.” Abagail squinted at him. No one had really explained this to him, had they? “Historically, our family has made good choices when it comes to businesses and finances. That’s how we sustain ourselves. You don’t have to work if you don’t want to, but you need to understand the value of what you’re taking.”

“I don’t understand.”

“That’s the point.” Abagail had never been more frustrated with him, but at least he seemed to be listening this time. Unlike before. “I’m not going to reinstate your income from the family funds until you learn the value of a dollar.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Get a job!” Abagail said loudly. “And you can’t get a job at a company that we’re associated with or own. I want you to actually have to work hard to get it. Interview, keep it, earn an income, pay your own bills for a while.”

“You can’t do this.”

“I can and I have. You’re already cut off.” Abagail gave him a hard stare.

“Chaya left me, you know.”

Abagail’s eye twitched. Was he seriously two engagements down and had nothing to show for it?

“Without the money…” he trailed off.

“She didn’t want you.” Abagail finished for him.

Warren nodded. He seemed genuinely upset by that. But was he upset because it fractured his male ego or because he actually liked Chaya? Maybe even loved her. Is that how Nicola was? Without the money would she even be at Abagail’s house? Perhaps she wasn’t all that different from her nephew. That thought alone churned her stomach.

“I’ve been thinking about Nicola lately,” Warren said, staring down at his shoes.

Abagail wanted to vomit.

“Do you think she’d take me back if I got a job?”

Oh God, she didn’t actually have to answer that, did she? Abagail picked up a pen on her desk and started to flick it between her fingers. Nicola’s smiling face came to mind, the laughter and joy they’d shared a few times in the last few weeks. Nicola had given no indication that she’d want to go back to Warren. In fact, from what she’d seen that wasn’t even a possibility.

Then again, Nicola wasn’t even sure that was a thought in Warren’s head.

So would she?

“Aunt Abagail?”

“I don’t know,” Abagail answered honestly. She couldn’t look at him. She just kept staring at the pen in her fingers. Nicola would be so much better off with someone her age, someone who could keep up with her shenanigans, who would be there when she grew old. Someone who could actually provide a relationship for her.

Because Lord knew Abagail couldn’t do that.

They weren’t compatible at all. Why was Abagail even trying? She shouldn’t be.

“I love her,” Warren murmured.

But Abagail wasn’t sure about that either. He loved that Nicola was there, that she wasn’t the one to break it off with him. And he definitely loved that she needed him. Beyond that? She wasn’t sure. And she had no idea how Nicola felt. It wasn’t something they’d discussed.

“Nicola doesn’t care about money.”

Abagail frowned at that. She didn’t believe it. All she’d seen from Nicola was her caring about money. Perhaps Abagail had been wrong to think there was anything else there. She’d gone from Warren, who supported her financially, to Abagail, who was doing the exact same thing.

“I want you to get a job,” Abagail said, trying to change the topic. She wanted to stay as far away from Nicola as she could, especially when she was talking to Warren. “Get a job, keep it for six months, and then we’ll talk.”

“But Aunt Abagail, how am I supposed to do that?” He looked like he was going to cry.

Abagail shook her head. “Figure it out.”

“But how⁠—”

“Warren,” Abagail said in a warning. “That’s the point. Figure it out.”

He stared at her in disbelief. Abagail wasn’t going to give on this one though. She didn’t say anything as she waited for him to give up and leave. It didn’t take long—after a few more attempts to get her to change her mind, Warren left the office.

Thirty minutes later and Abagail still couldn’t clear her head and focus. She threw her hands through her hair and packed up her bag. Walking directly to Ivy’s office, she popped her head in. “I’m leaving for the rest of the day.”

“Everything all right?”

“Fine. Just taking a personal day.” Abagail started to turn away.

“You don’t take personal days.” Ivy’s voice stopped.

Abagail turned around slowly, facing Ivy again.

“What’s going on? That’s the second time he’s come in here to terrorize you.”

That was a good word for it. And neither time had Abagail backed down. This time she’d actually call it a win. Abagail’s shoulders dropped in defeat. Who was she kidding? Warren had taken something from her when it came to the persona she liked to have in the office, and he’d made it impossible to keep it.

“Family drama. Something you’re very familiar with.” Abagail stared at her directly. The implication was that she didn’t want to discuss it. She’d never truly pried about Ivy’s divorce. She’d taken what information Ivy had given her, but she’d never tried to get more than what Ivy was willing to give. “He won’t be in again. And if he is, I’ll file trespassing charges.”

“Seriously?” Ivy stared at her in awe.

“Absolutely.” Abagail left then. She wanted to go home and escape the mess that Warren had made.

Once inside her house, Abagail relaxed instantly. The house was quiet, it was hers, and it was exactly what she was looking for. Immediately, she walked up the stairs to her bedroom. By instinct, she walked to the small safe in her closet, opened it, and pulled out the ring that Warren had wanted. It still sat nestled in the box, winking at her in the light.

He did deserve to find someone who actually loved him and whom he loved. She just didn’t think that Warren was anywhere near that. She snapped the lid shut on the ring and shoved it back into the safe, locking it. When she walked out of her closet, she spotted Nicola standing in her doorway awkwardly.

“Did you want to talk?” Nicola asked.

Right.

That.

Abagail had insisted on a conversation, but after her run-in with Warren that day, she wasn’t so sure that she wanted to do that anymore. It’d be better if they went their separate ways now, wouldn’t it?

“I didn’t think you’d be home this early,” Nicola went on when Abagail didn’t immediately answer her.

Was she nervous? Abagail shut the door to her closet and stepped closer. Her brain was working slowly, moving at a snail’s pace. She walked directly to Nicola, cupping the back of her head and pulling Nicola in for a kiss. Nicola grunted, her teeth gnashing against Abagail’s lips before she parted her mouth and opened for the kiss.

Abagail turned her, pushing her into the doorframe and closing her eyes. She focused on sensations, on touches and fingers, on Nicola’s hands against her back, her ass. On the way Nicola’s breasts pushed into her own each time she took a breath.

“No,” Abagail whispered against Nicola’s lips, “I don’t want to talk.”

Without hesitation, she dove back in. Nicola joined in her fervor, the touches and tastes increasing. Abagail kept Nicola pressed tightly against her. She trailed her hand down Nicola’s front, over her breast, to the edge of Nicola’s short skirt and started to slide her hand up, but she stopped.

Abagail went back to playing with Nicola’s nipple, flicking the edge of her thumb across the small little pebble and loving the way Nicola moaned against her. Nicola’s hand was in Abagail’s hair, tugging lightly as she tried to push Abagail backward.

“Should we go to the bed?” Nicola asked.

The question sounded so odd, like Nicola was as unsure of this as she was. Abagail broke away, taking a step back and looking over Nicola’s disheveled appearance. She was stunning, not just because she was young but because she was confident in who she was, she was full of sunshine and joy, and she deserved to get what she wanted.

Love.

Family.

A spouse.

Abagail shook her head and took another step back. “No, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Nicola asked, a deep line forming in the center of her forehead.

“I can’t do this.” Abagail put her hands out to her sides.

“But this is why I’m here!” It wasn’t quite a whine, and there was a definite undertone of fear there. “What am I supposed to do if you’re not letting me fuck you?”

“Nic…” Abagail shook her head. “We have an arrangement.”

“Exactly!” Nicola groaned. “And I can’t uphold my end of the agreement if you don’t let me.”

“Is that all this is about for you?” Abagail straightened her back immediately.

“Y-yes,” Nicola answered, but there wasn’t that confidence there that Abagail was used to.

She was lying. Abagail had never seen her do that before, in all of their interactions. Every retort that Abagail had come up with before was gone, and she had nothing to say. The words just left her. This was about money. It had to be. There was nothing else between them. It was impossible.

“You’ll still get your money.” Abagail’s lips moved into a thin line. “I don’t break my promises.”

“Abs.”

“Go to work, Nicola.” Abagail walked into her bedroom and turned her back on Nicola. She couldn’t do this. Not right now. Maybe not ever.

“Abs!”

“You don’t want to get fired from your only other source of income.” Was that too cold? Probably. But Abagail was hurting. She’d been smashed on all fronts in the last few hours, and she couldn’t bring herself to be better than she was right now.

Saying nothing else, Abagail started to take off her jewelry and drop it into the small bowls and containers where it belonged. Nicola stayed by the door for another few minutes before she timidly walked away and left.

Abagail shut the door and locked it.

She just needed time.

Time for herself.

Time to decompress.

Because this wasn’t what she wanted.

None of it.

twenty-nine

“I didn’t realize you were in town.” Nicola stopped short at Alanna’s room door.

Simone smiled up at her from the chair that Nicola typically occupied during her visits. She wasn’t looking any better than the last time Nicola had seen her. In fact, she looked far more worn out and stressed this time. The lines around her eyes and lips were deeper, her hair looked a bit knotted, and she certainly hadn’t dyed it in a while since her roots were showing. From what Nicola remembered, Howie hated it when Simone didn’t take care of herself.

Warren had made similar comments about her on occasion, and that stark reminder of how much Nicola hated how Howie treated Simone was a really good reason she and Warren weren’t together anymore.

Simone frowned up at her. “I told you I was coming this weekend.”

“I…” Nicola trailed off. Between Warren and her new job and Abagail, she’d lost track of everything outside of her own little world. She really had to do better than that. Alanna needed to be her priority. She always needed to be the priority. “I forgot. Sorry.”

Nicola slid onto the end of Alanna’s bed, making sure to avoid her sister’s legs and feet since she couldn’t feel them. It was rare that the three of them were able to get together like this, and Nicola wanted to take full advantage of it.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Before she could even say anything to Alanna, she read the name on the text and winced.

Warren.

What the hell was he texting her about? To apologize for the other night? Ha, that’d be royal, wouldn’t it? That man would never apologize for anything. So what the hell could he possibly want?

“Alanna said you’ve been staying with Warren’s aunt.”

Well that was a segue if Nicola had ever heard one. Was this going to be some kind of intervention on her part? Were they trying to drag her back into the world of reality and away from all the problems she’d managed to create in the last few months? Because that would be preciously ironic, wouldn’t it? Especially with all the issues Simone seemed to be having.

“I have been, at least for a little bit.” Nicola wasn’t entirely sure how much longer that would last. Especially after yesterday. That had been… odd. It was the only word that she could use to describe it. Abagail had come on to her, nearly ripping her clothes off before they could make it to a bed, and then she’d just stopped. Suddenly. With no explanation. With no conversation. Just a get out and go to work. Well, technically that was Nicola’s work. Even if it didn’t really feel like that anymore.

“That’s very nice of her.” Simone stared at her directly, her hazel eyes unwavering as if she could sense something else was amiss.

And this was exactly why phone calls and texts were better between them. Simone couldn’t interfere as much as she probably wanted to, and Nicola was free to make her own mistakes without judgment. And Simone’s gaze reminded her so much of her mother’s gaze that it was impossible not to feel the shame that would start up as soon as Simone did that.

“Are you paying her rent?” Simone asked.

There it was. Because the answer was not in cash and still Nicola was struggling to give any kind of answer. She winced and stared down at her folded hands in her lap. Her phone buzzed again. Warren. Could she seriously never escape this damn family?

“Nicola?” Simone asked.

Alanna chuckled. “She’s in love and doesn’t know it.”

“What?” Nicola said sharply, eyeing Alanna over. Had she seriously just said that? Oh God, this was going to turn into some sort of weird intervention, wasn’t it?

“Love?” Simone seemed confused by that.

“It’s not that at all.” Nicola jumped in, needing to correct the situation immediately. “Abagail has been giving me a place to stay since Warren and I broke up. That’s all it is.”

“It’s more than that.” Alanna pointed at Nicola, her lips quirking to the side in that adorable half-smile that she had.

Nicola melted at it. She always would no matter what. And Alanna knew that, and she’d absolutely use it to her advantage.

“It’s really not.” Nicola shifted uncomfortably on the edge of the bed. “How’s Howie?”

Simone narrowed her gaze at her. “We’re not talking about Howie.”

“Wasn’t his jerk of a kid moving in with you and his new wife?”

“They did.” Simone canted her head to the side. “And it’s been an adjustment.” Her cheeks reddened. Nicola wanted to pry into that. It was the escape that she needed. “But we’re not talking about my home life. We’re talking about yours.”

So much for that.

“I don’t have a home life.” Nicola’s phone vibrated again. Seriously, what the hell was up with Warren now? “I have you two and that’s it.”

“Don’t you think you deserve more than just us?” Alanna asked.

“You’re all I need,” Nicola answered, unlocking her phone and skimming the texts Warren sent. Except they were novels, so she wasn’t exactly retaining any of the information in them.

“This is a serious conversation, Nic. Can you pay attention please?” Alanna asked.

“Yeah. Sure.” Nicola shoved her phone down to her side and was determined to focus on her sister. The entire reason she was there, and the only reason she was still putting up with all the bullshit that she did in life. She needed the job to pay the bills, and she needed Alanna to get the best care she possibly could. “What are we talking about?”

“You and Abagail!” Alanna laughed lightly. “What’s going on between you two? Seriously. Because when I met her⁠—”

“You met her?” Simone asked, prying even deeper.

Nicola winced. “Yes, Abagail came to visit before we went to the Cape.”

That had been a disaster. That had been when this entire spiral had started downward, hadn’t it? Because it’d shattered what they’d built up so far. It wasn’t just about sex. At least not for Nicola. It was for Abagail, and that was the issue. Nicola wanted more, and Abagail had never made the promise that there could potentially be more. In fact, Nicola had made the promise that it was only ever going to be one night of revenge.

Well, revenge tasted so damn sweet that she couldn’t get enough of it. She wanted more.

But Abagail didn’t. And Nicola was pretty damn sure of that at this point, so the entire conversation they were having was out of bounds and not going to happen.

“It doesn’t matter,” Nicola mumbled under her breath, focusing back on her phone and the next six texts from Warren. Was he having a mental breakdown of some sort? Perhaps Abagail really had cut him off finically and he needed to know how to set up a fucking interview. “Do you think I can come stay with you for a bit if this arrangement with Abagail goes south?”

Simone’s lips parted in surprise. “Stay with me?”

“Yeah.” Nicola nodded. “I don’t really have anywhere else to go right now.”

The silence in the room was so loud. Was that the first time Nicola had actually said that out loud to them? Had she managed to keep from them just how bad it was for so long?

“I don’t… have an apartment, and I can’t afford a deposit and first month’s.”

“Nicola…” Simone dragged out her name. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“I thought I had.” Nicola pouted and looked back down at her hands. “No, that’s not true. I knew I hadn’t. I didn’t want you to worry when you already have so much else going on.”

“So much else?” Alanna said, turning her head sharply to Simone. “What’s going on with you?”

“I…” Simone’s voice cracked. “Nothing that I can’t handle. Nicola, why didn’t you tell me it had gotten so bad? I thought you were staying with Abagail only for a few weeks.”

“Well, it’s turned into longer, and it’ll probably be longer if I can manage it because I don’t have anything to my name right now.” Nicola flicked her gaze to Alanna. “It’s all been coming here.”

“Nicola!” Alanna squeaked. “You can’t keep doing this! You need to actually ask us for help and talk to us about what’s going on.”

“It’s my responsibility⁠—”

“No, it’s our responsibility. And I don’t need any more half-truths from you.” Simone stood up and paced the room back and forth. “How bad is it?”

“Not as bad as it was.” Nicola really didn’t want to tell either one of them that Abagail had paid off the debt to give her some breathing space. What would they think of her then?

“What do you mean by that?”

“It means I’ve figured some stuff out, but I can’t keep up with this. I have to make some changes, and I’m working on making those changes. All right?”

“Does it involve Abagail?” Alanna asked.

Again, Nicola winced. She’d never escape this, would she? “I hit a bit of rock bottom when Warren and I broke up. Abagail was there to help me out, that’s all.”

“It’s more than that,” Alanna pushed. “Don’t you see it? I never saw you this happy with Warren.”

“I’m not with Abagail.” Nicola tried to make that as clear as day, because Alanna was definitely living in her own little world right now. Nicola ran her fingers through her hair and then clutched her phone.

“Hold on…” Simone stopped. “You’re dating Warren’s aunt.”

“No,” Nicola said.

“Yes,” Alanna said at the same time.

Nicola eyed her sister carefully. This was exactly what she’d wanted to avoid. “We’re not dating.”

“But you’re together,” Alanna rebutted.

“No, we’re not together.” Nicola shook her head. “And I don’t think we’ll ever be together.”

“But you want to be?” Simone finally stepped back into the fray of conversation.

Nicola’s head was about to explode. Would the two of them give it up already?

“She’s got to be what, twice your age?” Simone added. “And Warren’s aunt.”

“I know.” Nicola stared down at her hands again, heat rushing to her cheeks. There was no way to avoid this conversation, was there? She licked her lips and shook her head. “We’re not together, we won’t be together. Abagail was being kind to help me out on some things, that’s all.”

“But you want to be?” Simone asked again.

Nicola shook her head, tears rushing to her eyes. Every emotion she’d suppressed in the last few months came tumbling up all at once, and she couldn’t sort through them. Tears fell down her cheeks. The stress from not being able to pay Alanna’s bills. A sob tore through her chest. The pain of Warren breaking up with her so ruthlessly. Her chest ached as she tried to breathe. The fact that she’d so willingly given a part of herself for money. Her lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. It wasn’t just revenge.

Simone was next to her, rubbing circles into her back and wrapping her up in a hug. Alanna stayed where she was, unable to move very swiftly and definitely not at this angle. Nicola buried her face in Simone’s shoulder, breathing in as best she could and remembering that scent. It was so similar to their mother’s and yet so different at the same time.

The scent was the last thing to leave Nicola’s memory. And when she’d found a box that was still packed away in storage and opened it, all she could smell was her parents. It’d bring fresh tears, just like this, straight to her. She clung onto Simone.

This was her family now.

This was all she had left.

Finally, Alanna managed to pull herself upward and wrapped her arms around Simone and Nicola. A new wave of tears flooded Nicola. She shouldn’t have kept them out for so long. She shouldn’t have tried to keep them in the dark about her own struggles. She needed to keep the family that she had as close as she possibly could.

Nicola laughed lightly and shook her head, the tears clearing from her eyes as she pulled herself back together. One breakdown every few months wasn’t a bad thing, right? She wiped her hands across her cheeks and dried her face.

“I’m good, I promise.”

“I don’t think you are,” Alanna whispered. “But I do think you’ll be a whole lot better off if you talk to Abagail.”

The echo of Abagail’s request hit her ears, but then she was reminded of the fact that they’d now gone to talk twice, and they hadn’t done it. Maybe Abagail had changed her mind entirely. Or maybe Nicola should just take a hint. Abagail didn’t want to talk. Not about a relationship anyway. She wanted to talk about when Nicola was going to get back on her own feet.

“Yeah, it’s probably high time we did that.” Nicola snorted and rolled her eyes. “I’ll talk to her soon. I promise.”

Even if the conversation was just a simple, Thanks for the time, it was fun while it lasted, I’m moving out tomorrow.

“You can come stay with me if you need to, but it’s tight living quarters right now, so you’ll be on the couch.” Simone brushed her fingers through Nicola’s hair.

“I don’t want to leave Alanna⁠—”

“I think I can survive the two of you living on the other side of the state for a short window of time.” Alanna lay back in her bed and rolled her eyes loudly at them. “I’m not an invalid, you know.”

Nicola would beg to differ on that one, but she did at least have good care here to give her as much independence as possible.

“And it’s not like you two are sailing across the Drake Passage and refusing to take me with you. Which, by the way, if you ever do that, I will murder you both in your sleep. Just so you know.”

Nicola laughed fully. It felt so good to have their gentle banter back. They all knew that Alanna would never be traveling on a cruise to Antarctica like she might have wanted to, but at least she could dream still. Nicola pressed a kiss into Alanna’s hair and gave her a hug.

“I promise we won’t do that.”

“Good.” Alanna folded her arms across her chest and glared at both of them. “Stop being idiots.”

“I’ll try.” Nicola put her hands up.

Simone just laughed and shook her head.

“And I still think there’s more going on between you and Abagail than you think there is.”

“Said like a true romantic. Get your head out of the books, Alanna.” Nicola stood up and snagged her phone. The text messages filled the screen. God, she didn’t want to deal with him. Not right now. Well, honestly, not ever again. “I need to get going.”

“I’m going to call you soon,” Simone said. “I think we need to talk more often than we have been.”

“Yeah, probably not a bad idea.”

thirty

“What’s the emergency?” Elia asked as she walked into Abagail’s house.

Abagail instantly relaxed. Elia, despite all they’d been through in the last year, was always there for her, no matter what. They were always together, and Abagail wanted to keep it that way.

“I need advice on family matters.” Abagail squared her shoulders. “It’s going to involve whiskey. Do you need to drive back tonight?”

“No.” Elia furrowed her brow. “But I’ll have to leave early in the morning then.”

“Perfect.” Abagail walked directly to the library and poured each of them a drink, knowing that Elia was going to follow her there. She settled into the chair but crossed and uncrossed her legs. Everything that had happened in the last few days was throwing her entire system into chaos.

Elia eyed her over simply, her lips pressed into a thin line. When Abagail didn’t say anything or start the conversation, Elia set her drink down and raised an eyebrow at her.

“You’re going to have to tell me what happened.”

“I cut Warren and Estelle off, at least from what I can. They still have the trusts that my brother set up for them, which will sustain them for a while.” Abagail’s stomach twisted. She’d hated making that call, but something had to change. Something had to be different than it had been for the last few years.

“Are you serious?” Elia asked.

Abagail nodded. “Warren’s come into my office twice now to harass me, and he was such a bully to Nicola at the Cape.”

“Wait.” Elia put her hand out, as if that was going to stop Abagail from barreling forward with whatever else she was going to say.

Well, it worked. Because Abagail froze.

“The Cape?”

“Right.” Abagail breathed deep. “Nicola and I took a week at the Cape, and Warren showed up with his new fiancée—now ex-fiancée—” Abagail shook her head “—with Chaya, and while Chaya was fine, Warren’s treatment of Nicola was crossing one too many lines.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think…” Abagail stopped talking. How did she say this? There wasn’t a delicate way to put it, was there? “I think Warren abused Nicola. At least, I’d put it in that category, and based on what I saw, he’s still willing to terrorize her.”

“Has she said anything?” Elia snagged her glass up and took a sip.

Abagail shook her head. “I’m not sure how she defines it.” She traced her finger around the rim of the glass she had. “But from what I witnessed, I couldn’t support his decisions any longer.”

“So you cut him off financially.”

“As much as I could.” Abagail looked at Elia. “He needs to grow up. He needs to stop being coddled. He needs an understanding of how the world functions when he’s not the center of it. He needs to learn a damn work ethic!”

Elia hummed. It was that annoying hum when she was thinking something that Abagail wasn’t going to like or agree with. “And Estelle?”

“She’d only enable him. I cut her off mostly for him, but also because she’s not part of the family. I should have done it when he was an adult.”

There was that noise again. The all-knowing Elia noise, like she could sense something was amiss in the story that Abagail had been telling herself for days now. But what the hell was it? Because Abagail had known it was there, but she hadn’t even bothered to try and figure it out.

“And Nicola?”

“What about Nicola?” Abagail fired back, glancing out toward the rest of the house.

“What about Nicola is right. You took her to the Cape.” Elia sipped her drink slowly, staring Abagail down over the rim. “She’s still here. Where does Nicola fit into all of this?”

“She doesn’t. Except that Warren’s treatment of her alerted me to how bad he’d really gotten.”

“Hmm, I don’t think that’s it.” Elia set her glass down again. “Talk to me about Nicola.”

“There’s nothing to say.”

“Where is she now?”

“Visiting her sister.” Abagail brushed at invisible lint on her pants, gnawing on the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t get rid of.

“So she’s still living here.” Elia said that like she already knew where this conversation was going. Well, who died and made her psychic?

“Yes.” Abagail bristled at that. She wasn’t going to deny it or lie to Elia, but she certainly didn’t like that she was being called out right now—and that’s exactly what this was. “She hasn’t been able to find a new place to live yet.”

“Has she been looking?” Elia countered.

“I don’t honestly know.” Abagail hadn’t asked. She’d stayed as far away from that conversation as possible, because the truth of the matter was, she did enjoy Nicola’s company still. And she hadn’t wanted her to leave just yet.

“You haven’t asked her?”

Abagail shook her head. She really hadn’t been pushing Nicola out of the house at all, not like she had with previous flings. That should have been a tip-off that something was different, right? Abagail sipped her drink finally, letting the burn of the alcohol slide across her tongue, coat her throat, and settle warmly in her belly.

“Okay, let’s get real for a minute.” Elia’s voice came in strong, and it took Abagail aback.

Weren’t they already doing that?

“Okay?” Abagail answered, not quite sure where this was headed, but the potential outcomes scared her.

“What makes Nicola so different from anyone else?”

“She’s not different.” Abagail shook her head, her brow furrowing in confusion.

“You can stop lying to yourself. You just established, through multiple answers, that you’re treating her very different than anyone else in her position. The question I asked is why?” Elia crossed her arms and stared at Abagail. “And I want an actual answer this time.”

Abagail had no idea what to say. She had no answer to give. She’d known that she was treating Nicola different from the start, from the very first moment that they’d started their little arrangement, and everything about it had felt wrong. But it had gotten worse as the days continued.

“Oh, Abs.” Elia touched Abagail’s hand. “I didn’t mean to throw you into a spiral.”

Shaking her head, Abagail pulled on herself. She needed to answer this question. She wasn’t sure why, but she knew she had to. What made Nicola different?

“She’s family,” Abagail finally answered, the words slowly leaving her lips. But again, that didn’t quite feel right either, because she wasn’t family. Though it could be argued that right now Abagail was treating her better than family. So maybe there was something to be said for that.

“You care about her,” Elia supplied.

Abagail scrunched up her face. “I’m not sure I’d go that far.”

“Well, let’s explore that for a second. You haven’t ditched her and told her to get out yet. You spent a lot of money to fix one of her major problems.”

“But I didn’t solve it long term. She needs to figure that out on her own.”

“Does she?” Elia raised an eyebrow back at Abagail. “Is it her responsibility?”

“It’s not mine.”

“Didn’t say it was.” Elia folded her hands neatly in her lap. “If it was my brother in the hospital and mom and I struggling to pay for his care, what would you do?”

“Pay for it,” Abagail answered without hesitation. “You know I would, just like I know you wouldn’t ask for it.”

“Did Nicola ask?”

Abagail was about to say yes, but she stopped herself. Nicola hadn’t ever asked. She’d never actually asked for a cent. In fact, she’d consistently talked about making sure that she was earning her keep. She’d always tried to find a job. She was expecting to pay the bills, not to have them relieved.

“No,” Abagail said simply, looking at Elia directly in the eye.

“So she is different.”

“Yes.” Abagail sighed. She still wasn’t sure what exactly made Nicola so different from anyone else, but she couldn’t deny it any longer.

“Here’s the thing that I know about you, from being your friend for life.” Elia smiled at her and then paused.

The dramatics were beyond Abagail, and she hated them, but she was willing to put up with them if Elia was going to give her some insight into what was going on. Abagail picked her drink back up again and stared at the books on the shelves. Did they hold the answers she was looking for?

“You have a soft spot for people in a pickle.”

“I do not,” Abagail countered vehemently.

“Oh, you do.” Elia laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “I don’t even know how you can deny that. Let’s just talk recently and ignore the whole Nicola situation. Ivy? You found out she needed a new job after being forced to give up her business because her ex-wife was making her life a living hell, and you chose to take her into your company even though you didn’t exactly need anyone to help out.”

“Sure I did. Now I can take vacations on a whim.” Abagail pressed her lips together hard. That had come in useful, and now that most of Ivy’s dramatics were over, she was another good employee.

“And Greer? How do you explain her?”

Abagail glanced out the door to the library as if Greer was still staying at the house with her. She couldn’t write that one off as easily as she did Ivy.

“You got her a job with Ivy, Nathalie, and Lachlan even though you didn’t need to.”

“A consistent nanny helped my employee be a better employee.”

“Right.” Elia scrunched her face up and gave Abagail a hard stare. “That was your only motive.”

“It was.”

“I thought we were being honest,” Elia countered. “But if you’re not, I can just as easily head home tonight.”

“No, no, don’t do that.” Abagail stared down at her hands. Elia didn’t even know about Greer staying at the house or the fact that they’d met up several times since Greer had started working for Ivy to discuss the problems of the world and Greer’s life. Greer had been there when Nicola had come to bring the ring back. The ring that still felt like it was Nicola’s.

“Are you going to be honest?”

“Yes,” Abagail answered. “I do have a soft spot, as you called it.” She refused to say any more than that, though.

“So why is Nicola a soft spot for you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you care for her?”

“No.” Well, that wasn’t entirely true either. Abagail shook her head. “That’s not right. I do care for her. I’m fond of her.”

“Do you love her?” Elia asked.

“No.” Abagail paused, double checking that she wasn’t lying to either one of them, but the answer settled well in her chest. “No, I don’t love her.”

“Does she love you?”

“I… don’t know.” Abagail frowned into her drink. It hadn’t even occurred to her to ask. “I think she just wants money, honestly. Not that she’s going to ask me for it, or that she’s going to try to take it, she wants to earn it. But I don’t think she wants anything else from me.”

“And what do you want from her?”

Abagail was brought to silence by that question. She had no answer to give. Every time she tried to form words, nothing would pull together, and nothing made sense. She must have stayed there in silence too long because Elia tried to pry it from her in a different way.

“What does your fondness mean?”

Again, Abagail was brought to silence. All she knew was that she was comfortable with Nicola, longer term than she was comfortable with most. But that didn’t mean she could give Nicola what Nicola wanted or needed.

“You said I was aromantic,” Abagail answered, avoiding Elia’s question.

“I’ve long suspected it.”

“So I won’t be good for Nicola long term. I can’t give her what she wants.”

“Do you know what she wants? Have you asked her?” Elia finished her drink and set her glass on the table between their two chairs.

Abagail had barely even had any of hers. She frowned into it, not having an appetite for any more at the moment. The turmoil she was feeling was far too strong, and it bothered her. It shouldn’t, but it did. “I can’t love her.”

“Is she asking for you to?”

“No, but I can’t do that. I can’t give her what she wants.”

“I’m going to ask this again, Abs, and answer it this time. Have you asked her what she wants?”

“She was engaged to Warren.” Abagail shook her head. “So yeah, she wants marriage. I’m sure she wants kids and a family and everything that she doesn’t have.”

“I wouldn’t make assumptions. They can get you into bad spaces.”

Abagail hated when Elia talked like that. She just wished that sometimes Elia could come out and say what she was meaning and what exactly she was thinking. Then again, she wasn’t quite sure that she wanted that answer either.

“I’ll never be perfect for anyone, Elia. You know that as well as I do. I’m too specific, too temperamental, too distant. No one can put up with me for long.” Abagail turned her glass on her knee, not daring to look into Elia’s eyes.

“It’s not like you to get all self-deprecating. Do you actually mean that or are you just venting to avoid?”

Fuck Elia for calling her out on that one too. Abagail knocked back her drink and looked Elia directly in the eye. “You can’t tell me that I’m a good friend.”

“I’ll never tell you that you’re a bad one,” Elia countered, leaning over the arm of her chair and getting even closer to Abagail. “And you’re still avoiding.”

“Sometimes I hate you.”

“Oh, you love me. It’s the only reason I’m still here.” Elia laughed. “But if you want to take a break from the prodding, I’ll allow it. For now.”

“Thank God.” Abagail slumped back in her chair. “Make me another drink, will you? I have a feeling this is going to be a long night.”

“You know it will.”

thirty-one

“Uh… hello?”

Nicola stepped into the kitchen, planning to grab dinner before heading up to her room, but she stopped short. There was a woman in there, one she’d never seen before. She had her back to the door, but her hair was long, past her shoulders, little gray wisps throughout it. She had on jeans, which was odd to see in Abagail’s world, and a cardigan, but it still was chilly outside.

She spun around, her long face slack and her eyes narrowed before she instantly relaxed. “Hi.”

“Who are you?” Nicola asked, trying to keep her tone as gentle as possible. She didn’t want to probe deeper into Abagail’s life than she needed to, but she definitely wanted to know who was going to be staying in the house overnight if she was still living there technically. It was the courteous thing to do, not that Abagail really ever thought about those things.

“Elia…” She paused and then held her hand out, the small gold tennis bracelet dangling off her thin wrist. “You must be Nicola.”

“Oh.” So Abagail had been talking about her. What exactly had she been saying? Because Nicola wasn’t a permanent part of Abagail’s life like Elia was. “Good to meet you, finally.” Nicola pursed her lips and took Elia’s hand, shaking it. “You’re here for a visit.”

“Yeah.” Elia’s lips curled upward, and she dragged her gaze down Nicola’s body and then back up. Was Elia checking her out? Not in a sexual way but in a checking her out for her best friend kind of way?

Nicola wasn’t sure how she should feel about that. She shuddered as she stepped around Elia toward the refrigerator.

“I’ll only be staying one night,” Elia answered.

“That’s fine. Abagail’s house seems to be a revolving door for one- or two-night visitors.”

“What do you mean?”

“First Greer and now you.” Nicola opened the refrigerator and stared at her food options. She hadn’t actually thought this far ahead, just knew that she had to eat something before she went to bed, otherwise she’d wake up feeling like absolute shit in the morning. She finally pulled out one of the pre-made meals that Abagail’s personal chef kept there and popped it into the microwave to warm up.

“Greer stayed here?”

“Yeah?” Nicola frowned, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter as she stared Elia over. “I’m sorry, but you’re not quite what I expected.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, Abs is rich. And you’re… down to earth.”

“The two aren’t mutually exclusive, are they?”

“No.” Nicola narrowed her gaze, her defenses coming up immediately. She probably shouldn’t have said that, but she’d never been one to be able to hold her tongue either. “But they are for you.”

Elia’s lips pulled into a tight smile. “Abagail and I met when we were kids at school. I’ve never quite been able to shake her.”

“Have you tried?” Nicola wanted to ask if she’d tried fucking her because that seemed to be the obvious way to get rid of Abagail quickly, but she didn’t suspect they had. While Elia definitely gave off the queer vibes, she didn’t seem like Abagail’s type at all—too closed off, too cautious.

“Not really.” Elia went back to the plate that she had in front of her, which looked to be a mixture of small snack items and different dips or sauces.

She had to be comfortable there if she was digging into Abagail’s kitchen like this.

“Speaking of… where is the notorious Abs?” Nicola asked, flicking her gaze up to Elia’s face before dropping it back to her hands.

“She’s in the library.” Elia finished putting some pickles on the plate and dried her hands on a towel that she had next to it. “Did you want to join us?”

“Oh, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.” The microwave beeped, and Nicola pulled out the bowl of food, burning her fingers on the bottom of it before she slid it onto the stainless-steel counter so she wouldn’t do any more damage. “I don’t think she wants to see me right now.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Just a feeling,” Nicola muttered as she rummaged around for a fork and knife. She was going to hide away for as long as she could so that she could stay there as long as possible. Once she had enough saved up, she could skip out and find her own place to rent. Until then, she needed to keep a low profile.

“I’m fairly certain that Abagail is far fonder of you than you might think.” Elia leaned against the counter and made direct eye contact with Nicola.

It was unnerving, like she could read into whatever Nicola wasn’t saying and feeling and understood instantly what was going on inside her. Could she actually do that?

“Doubtful.” Nicola dashed her tongue across her lips and broke eye contact. She couldn’t keep up with that. Elia was out of her league when it came to that, and Nicola didn’t want to catch up with it either. She just wanted to escape.

“All she’s done tonight is talk about you.”

Nicola snorted. “I’m sure, with how annoyed she is that I haven’t left the house yet, and the fact that she keeps having to come to my rescue.”

“Rescue?” Elia prompted.

Nicola shook her head. She wasn’t going to say any more on that if Abagail hadn’t already answered it. She rolled her shoulders, but she didn’t leave either.

“If there’s one thing that I know about Abagail it’s that she’s fully capable of love. She just doesn’t show it in the same way that you’d typically expect.”

Frowning, Nicola looked back up at her. “I don’t think I understand.”

“I’ve never seen Abagail be in a relationship before, not in all the years that I’ve known her.” Elia lowered her voice and stepped closer. She was so much taller than Nicola, nearly towering over her, but it wasn’t imposing. Instead, it was comforting. “But I’ve also never seen her break her own rules like she has with you.”

“Rules?” Nicola whispered the word, like saying it out loud was going to shatter something between them.

“Didn’t she tell you them when you came here?”

Nicola shook her head.

“Interesting.” Elia’s lips pulled into a near smile before they dropped. “I don’t suppose you want to join us tonight?”

“Elia, are you almost finished?” Abagail stepped into the kitchen and then froze.

Nicola locked their eyes together before she dropped hers back to her warmed-up dinner.

This wasn’t what she was hoping to run into tonight. She’d wanted to come home, slide up to her room, and not see Abagail. Because after the conversation with Simone and Alanna, she was pretty damn sure that she needed to have an in-depth conversation with Abagail and that at the end of it, she’d be out on her ass.

And she just needed a few more weeks to get a backup plan in place to make this actually happen.

“Yes,” Elia said, her shoulders straightening. She flicked her gaze from Nicola to Abagail and back again. Then she finally stepped away, giving Nicola the space that she was suddenly craving. “I was just introducing myself to Nicola.”

“I didn’t realize you’d be home,” Abagail said, ignoring Elia completely.

Nicola risked a look at Abagail and then shook her head. “I’m not working tonight.”

“Oh.” Abagail stood stiffly by the edge of the counter.

Elia smiled at both of them and then snagged the plate of snacks before walking out of the room and leaving the two of them together. It was almost like Nicola had come face to face with a power couple, two women who were extremely confident in who they were and who understood the ins and outs of how the world works.

That wasn’t Nicola at all.

She could barely keep her head afloat without thinking about the rest of the world.

Abagail jerked with a start, coming closer so that she could stand next to Nicola. “I’m sorry we won’t get a chance to talk tonight.”

“It seems like you’ve been doing that already.” Nicola heard her tone and instantly hated that that was what came out of her mouth. She sounded like a jealous girlfriend, which she definitely wasn’t. Was she slightly jealous that Abagail was talking to Elia instead of her and clearly talking to Elia about her? Maybe. But that wasn’t what she was really feeling.

Displaced was probably a closer word for that.

Nicola felt out of sorts because the spot she’d held in Abagail’s heart wasn’t actually hers. It may belong to Elia or it may not, but it was clear that Nicola didn’t actually have it like she’d thought briefly. She really needed to stop fooling herself and think about the reality of the situation.

“Elia is my best friend,” Abagail answered slowly, like she was explaining something to a kid who just wasn’t getting it. “I tell her everything.”

“Everything about me?” Nicola’s heart clenched. How much had Abagail shared about her past? About the fact that Nicola couldn’t even manage to keep her head above water on her own?

“No, not everything.” Abagail stepped in closer, cupping Nicola’s cheek gently as she lowered her voice. “I won’t ever tell her what’s yours to share. Just the parts that affect me.”

Nicola nodded and closed her eyes. Moments like this made it feel like they were actually in a relationship. But she knew that Abagail would pull away in an instant and it’d be back to like they were acquaintances that didn’t really talk about anything personal. But they did. They had. And that meant something, right?

“If you want to tell her, feel free to. Elia’s a very good listener.”

For some reason, Nicola knew that. She’d never met Elia before, but something in her countenance made it clear that she was there to listen and evaluate. Nicola nodded and pulled away from Abagail’s touch before she looked too deeply into it.

“I work late tomorrow,” Nicola said, picking up her bowl of food and putting it between them as a way to ward off the feelings she was having that she didn’t want.

“Maybe we can talk before you go to work.”

“Yeah. Let’s do that.” Nicola frowned. It was the last thing that she actually wanted to do, but she couldn’t avoid it any longer, could she? She winced as she took a step back and put even more space between them. “I’m going to head upstairs.”

“Okay.” Abagail seemed almost saddened by that statement.

Confused, Nicola ignored it. They weren’t friends, and there was no way that Abagail wanted her to spend time with Elia and her, not when their time together was already so limited. Nicola would just be a burden and she’d drag them down.

“I’ll let Elia know so you don’t have to.” That was the mature thing to do, right?

Without another word to Abagail, she walked out of the kitchen with her dinner in her hand and started toward the library. She stepped just inside, making it clear that she wouldn’t be joining them. “I’m going to head to bed early. I have a late night tomorrow.”

“All right.” Elia gave her a small smile. “I can make breakfast in the morning, if you’d like.”

“Sure.” Nicola frowned, knowing full well she wouldn’t be joining them for breakfast. She was going to hide out in her room as long as possible. “But I might not be here because my Aunt Simone is in town, and I’d like to spend some time with her.”

“Simone?” Elia furrowed her brow.

Nicola nodded slowly, an odd feeling swimming in the middle of her stomach.

“Does she work at Windermere?”

“Yeah.” Nicola froze.

“I teach with her.”

Panic swelled in Nicola’s chest. How much did Elia already know about her? How much did Simone tell? And the fact she’d just told Simone basically everything that day meant that Elia would know everything, wouldn’t it?

“Cool,” Nicola managed to squeak out the word. “It uh… was good to meet you.” She turned around and walked out.

She brushed past Abagail and made for her room, climbing into her bed and closing her eyes in an instant. She was insane to think that Abagail would ever want anything more than sex from her. She knew better than to think that someone could love her, because when she let her guard down, she’d never meet expectations.

She couldn’t do that with Warren, and she certainly couldn’t do it with Abagail.

Nicola was no one. She had no education, no job, and she couldn’t even manage to keep a roof over her head. The only reason Abagail was interested in her was because they were compatible in bed.

Tears burned in her eyes again for the second time that day. And the last thing she wanted to do was cry over someone who wouldn’t even notice when she was gone. Nicola took a few more minutes of self-pity before she dragged herself up and forced herself to eat the dinner she’d warmed. Food was the last thing on her mind, but she knew she’d need it tomorrow when she had that long shift at work.

But right then, all she wanted to do was hide away and never emerge from the bedroom.

Surely that’d be better for everyone, wouldn’t it?

thirty-two

“Mind if I come in?” Abagail knocked on Nicola’s door and opened it a crack.

She wasn’t quite sure what she was expecting, but it wasn’t a pristine, clean room. Abagail hadn’t been in there in days, and she’d assumed Nicola was as messy a person on the outside as she seemed to be on the inside—something that Abagail had come to appreciate lately.

She’d seen Elia off just after breakfast, which Nicola hadn’t come downstairs for, but Abagail knew that she needed to have this conversation with her, immediately. They had to stop putting it off any longer. And Elia had told her as much before she’d left to head back to the school.

“Sure.” Nicola was sitting on her bed, phone in her hand, and she barely even looked up at Abagail.

She hadn’t intended to have this conversation in here, but since Nicola didn’t seem to be moving, Abagail walked inside and stood by the edge of the bed until Nicola finally focused on her.

“What did you want to talk about?” Nicola asked, seemingly like she hadn’t been paying attention to the last few days of turmoil that had been going on in the house.

Abagail frowned. “We need to talk about our relationship.”

“We don’t have a relationship,” Nicola answered, innocently. “Nowhere did we ever commit to each other.”

“You’re right.” Abagail drew in a deep breath, her stomach in knots over this. She could fire all of her staff before she could face down this young woman who seemed to never have a care in the world. What was so intimidating about Nicola Bolsinger? “But we still need to talk about it.”

“You won’t fuck me, so you won’t pay me.”

Abagail stuttered. She hadn’t ever heard Nicola say something so crude before. But it added to her theory that all she cared about was the money that Abagail could pay her. Abagail sat on the edge of the bed, one foot firmly planted on the floor, and she stared in awe at Nicola.

“I’ll still pay you. It’s not the end of the month yet.” She wished she’d brought something for her hands, because waiting for Nicola’s response was making her fingers itch to move. “If that’s what you’re concerned about.”

Nicola didn’t answer that, though. Her lips thinned into a line, and she stared intently at the phone still in her hand. Was any of this making a dent in Nicola’s brain or was Abagail wasting her breath? She hated that she couldn’t figure out which it was right now, but it seemed the more time she spent with Nicola, the more of a struggle this was becoming.

“Nicola, I’d really like to talk.” Abagail touched Nicola’s ankle, her skin smooth and warm. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, remembering the feel of Nicola’s skin against hers. They were so compatible sexually. She loved the time they spent together, wanting more and more of it whenever they could find it.

“You’re talking,” Nicola responded.

Abagail instantly turned cold. She let go of Nicola’s ankle and firmly planted her hands in her lap. This wasn’t going like she’d hoped that it would. “I don’t want to pay you for sex, and I think you might feel the same way about that.”

Nicola tensed. Even without touching her, Abagail could see it in her body, the way her shoulders drew together, the pinch in her cheeks, the slight scrunch of her nose. Maybe she had been wrong about that one. Maybe Nicola still did want that to be part of their relationship.

Either way, Abagail didn’t want it any longer.

“When would you like me to leave?” Nicola asked.

“Th-that’s not what I’m saying.” Abagail clenched her jaw. Except it kind of was what she was saying, wasn’t it?

Was this a breakup?

It felt like a breakup.

Even though Abagail hadn’t had many of those in the past, this distinctly felt like she was breaking up with Nicola, and the pain in her heart was stronger than she anticipated it being. “Look, I like you.”

“No, you don’t,” Nicola countered, eyeing Abagail seriously.

“I’m fond of you,” Abagail corrected, choosing her words carefully.

“You’re fond of what we do to each other.”

“Yes, that,” Abagail agreed. Her stomach bubbled with nerves, and her head was hurting from trying to navigate this conversation. Normally she was so damn good at these hard conversations. It was why she’d chosen the career she had.

But this was out of her comfort zone. And something in the way Nicola was acting was so different from her norm, and the way they typically interacted, that it was a struggle for Abagail to even get to the next step.

“I think you should be with someone better suited for you,” Abagail stated.

“Like Warren?” Nicola rolled her eyes.

Abagail snorted and shook her head. “Please don’t go back to Warren.”

“What?” Nicola looked at her directly. “He said he talked to you about me.”

“He…did.” Abagail nodded slowly. “Before I kicked him out of my office.”

“But you didn’t tell him that I’d be interested?”

“No.” Abagail touched Nicola’s ankle again, this time hopeful that the touch would be more welcome than before. “I don’t think he’s a wise relationship choice for anyone right now. And you don’t really want to be the rebound to your rebound, do you?”

“Not at all.” Nicola laughed lightly. “He’s been texting me non-stop.” She lifted up her phone to show a bunch of text messages from Warren, but it didn’t look like Nicola had been answering any of them. “I can’t stand when he’s in moods like this.”

“Why haven’t you just blocked him?” Abagail took the phone and flipped through the messages. Nicola hadn’t talked to him since the night she’d gone to the bar to return the ring, and that was just to make sure that Abagail was actually going to be there to receive it.

“I don’t know. Self-torture, probably.”

Abagail hummed. She flipped through the contact on Nicola’s phone, easily blocking Warren from it. “There. I did it for you.”

“You what?” Nicola snagged her phone back and then immediately looked at Abagail with awe. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“It’s not hard to reverse it if you want.”

“I don’t want.” Nicola continued to eye her. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” And Abagail meant that. “About our arrangement…”

“It’s ended.” Nicola said that so matter-of-factly that it hurt Abagail to hear. Had she been anticipating that this was where it was headed and that was why she was avoiding the conversation? “I don’t expect you to pay me for the rest of my life, Abs.”

No, Abagail had never thought about that. But Alanna would have medical bills for the rest of her life, and that would be something that Nicola was going to have to deal with so long as she was alive, and hopefully she’d plan for when she wasn’t. But if she died now, Abagail had no doubt that Alanna would be in quite the bind. No one had taught them to plan for the future, not that they even had a chance to think about anything other than tomorrow.

“You don’t have to leave, not right away, you know,” Abagail said, her tone softening. “I’d hate for you to think I’m kicking you out.”

“I never thought I’d be staying here permanently. This was a placeholder.” Nicola tossed her phone to the side of the mattress and focused her baby blue eyes intently on Abagail. “You never implied it would be anything else.”

“You’re right about that.” Abagail was always careful in what she said and what she didn’t say. Which was why her confession of actually caring somewhat for Nicola was hard. Because there was something else there. Elia wasn’t wrong about that. But she couldn’t ever be what Nicola wanted or needed, and of all things, Nicola deserved love. “I want so much for you.”

“You barely know me,” Nicola answered. She leaned forward and took Abagail’s hand in her own. “Why would you want anything for me?”

“Perhaps it’s because I see a bit of myself in you at times.”

“And at other times?”

“Not a chance.” Abagail laughed, her eyes squinting and her lips turning upward.

This gentle teasing was something that Abagail could handle, something that she wanted actually. Nicola was resilient to her core, and Abagail admired that. She wasn’t sure what she’d do if she were in Nicola’s situation. Or how she would have handled everything that had been thrown at Nicola.

“You deserve someone better than Warren,” Abagail said, finally.

“What about someone better than you?” Nicola asked, sneakily looking at Abagail.

That was exactly what Abagail had been afraid of this entire time. She hummed and closed her eyes, nodding. “Yes, even someone better than me.”

“I’m not sure there’s anyone better than you. You don’t actually ask that much of a person.”

“I ask a whole lot of people.” Abagail was offended by that. She had high standards for those she kept in her presence, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. “You just meet those standards easily.”

“So why are you kicking me out then?”

“I’m not kicking you out.” Abagail ran her fingers against the back of her head in a nervous motion. She was right back to where she’d been before—hating this conversation. “I’m sending you on your way, to bigger and better things.”

“Right.” Nicola nodded, but her voice dropped, and she didn’t exactly sound very happy about it. Not that Abagail expected her to be. This would be quite an adjustment for both of them to make.

“You’ll still have the job at the bar to tide you over.”

“I will.” Nicola squared her shoulders. “In fact, my shift starts in an hour. I should probably get ready for it.”

“All right.” Abagail hadn’t quite expected this to end in quite this manner, but it was better than any other. No screaming, no crying, just two mature adults talking about the end of whatever they’d had between them—which wasn’t much. She wasn’t ready to leave the room yet.

She still wanted to stay in Nicola’s presence, talk to her more, have that light flirting that they seemed to enjoy so much. Nicola enjoyed that, right?

Fuck, why was she questioning everything these last few days? Abagail stood up and smoothed her clothes down her sides as she looked Nicola over.

“I’ll see you later then.” Her shoulders hurt from how tense they were.

“Yeah, see you.” Nicola winked at her. “And thanks, Abs, for everything you’ve done.”

“Sure.” Abagail swallowed the lump in her throat and left Nicola’s room.

What had that been about? Her stomach swirled with nerves. She walked back to her bedroom and shut the door behind her, hiding in it. She never did that, but she had done it several times since they’d returned from the Cape. What had changed there? Surely it wasn’t just Warren who managed to break the spell they’d woven together.

She hated that he’d have that power.

Abagail sat on the edge of the bed and stared out the window where the sun was shining. It was such a stunning late spring day, and if she’d been another person, she’d venture outside and let the sun shine on her face. But that wasn’t her. She was someone who hid away from other people and lived in her own little world. If it wasn’t for Elia, she’d rarely allow herself to be dragged out from her circle that she enjoyed so much.

It wasn’t Warren.

Abagail could definitively say that now. But it also wasn’t just Nicola and what Abagail had figured out about Nicola either. Abagail sighed and toed off her shoes. She pulled herself back farther on the bed so that she wasn’t about to topple off of it.

So what was it?

Her?

Could she have really been the one to change while they were at the Cape? But more importantly than that, how had she changed? Abagail frowned at no one but herself as she sorted through every moment that came to mind, all the thoughts, actions, and words she had shared with Nicola since that fateful night at the bar.

About the fact that ring stashed in her closet still felt like it belonged to Nicola and to no one else.

Abagail wasn’t sure why it did, but it did. She was tempted to pull it out and slide it in Nicola’s bedroom while she was gone, giving it back to its rightful owner, someone who would appreciate it and savor it.

She just had to figure out what she was feeling.

Why was that so difficult lately?

thirty-three

Nicola must have checked her phone a dozen times, waiting for the next text from Warren, but it was silent. Blocking his number hadn’t relieved the anxiety that she was feeling from it, or the fact that Abagail had given her a bit more insight than she’d had before.

Warren wanted her back.

But it wasn’t because he loved her, or because he’d realized the mistake he’d made. It was because he wanted her to fix his problems and he knew she could. Well, there was at least a vote of confidence in there for her. She wasn’t a complete idiot when it came to life.

Sometimes.

So what was she supposed to do now? Abagail had ended their arrangement, not that Nicola had truly enjoyed that part of everything anyway. But the break felt clean and easy—at least she was trying to tell herself that. Abagail wasn’t upset with her, and Nicola wasn’t either. She just really needed to figure out what she was going to do next and work toward it immediately. Like today, immediately.

With an hour left before her shift started, Nicola started to pack up what little belongings she’d brought into the house from her car. It should all fit into the backpack that she had. She started with the clothes she’d brought and then stopped at the ones Abagail had bought for her. They were the ones she’d need for work, so she had to take them. But it felt wrong.

Nicola ran her fingers over the fabric. It was soft. More expensive than she’d normally buy for herself, but she’d taken advantage when she could. She frowned. She hadn’t expected their relationship—whatever it was going to be labeled as—to end quite like this.

But then again, how else would it have ended?

This was best for everyone. Nicola knew she wasn’t good enough to stick around, and that Abagail hadn’t ever wanted that. Why she’d allowed herself to dream that something else could happen between them was a mystery to her. She should have kept to herself like she always did and protected her heart.

“Well, it’s time to grow up, Nic,” she murmured to herself.

And it really was. She had to stop relying on other people to do the things that she needed to be doing. Grow up. That was the option now. She finished packing up her things and slung her backpack over her shoulder. She took the credit card that Abagail had given her and set it on the dresser.

Without a word, Nicola slipped out of the bedroom and walked toward the garage to get into her car. She’d have to send Abagail a thank you note for fixing it, because that was worth more than any of the cash Abagail had paid her. It’d get her to and from anywhere she needed to go, and it’d likely end up being her home again for a little while at least.

Groaning, Nicola pulled herself together. She looked at Abagail’s house one last time before she backed out of the driveway. She wouldn’t ever be back there. Something in her heart told her that. It was time for her to have a clean split from this family, and Abagail had given her that by blocking Warren for her.

It was on to new and better things.

She pulled up outside of work well before the bar even opened. Well, she couldn’t escape the family if she wanted to because she still worked here. She’d have to change that, but she needed some consistency in job history first. Which meant she was stuck here for a little bit longer.

Turning the engine off, Nicola picked up her phone and called her aunt. Surely she’d be back by now. She was supposed to leave that morning. Nicola had skipped having breakfast with her and Alanna. She played it off that she wanted to give the two of them some more time alone, but she really just couldn’t bring herself to get out of bed knowing what was coming.

“Missed you this morning,” Simone said as she answered.

“Yeah.” Guilt ate away at Nicola’s stomach. She was usually much better than this, but everything with Abagail was throwing her for a loop. “It’s been a rough night.”

“What happened?”

Did she confess everything? Surely Simone would be helpful with it. “I just realized that Abagail and I want drastically different things, and so we broke up. Kind of? We weren’t really together before.”

“Oh, Nicola.” Simone’s voice warmed her, the comfort and compassion there.

“Don’t tell Alanna, though. I don’t need the I told you so for the next three months.”

Simone chuckled at that. Nicola must be doing better than she’d thought she was if she could manage to at least smile at that. “How are you doing, though? Breakups can be hard.”

“I’m not even sure we can call it that.” Nicola rubbed her lips together and held the phone tightly as cars passed by her on the street. She closed her eyes and rested into her seat. “Because we weren’t dating, and Abagail made it clear from the beginning that’s not what this relationship was.”

“Doesn’t mean feelings weren’t involved.”

“True.” And there had been, at least on Nicola’s side. She’d thought for a while there that Abagail had felt similar, but she must have been wrong. Nothing had changed on Abagail’s end, but Nicola had wished it into being.

Perhaps this was the cold side that Warren had always talked about, how his Aunt Abagail was closed off and didn’t care about anyone but herself. Yet, everything she’d done since Nicola had started to get to know her better said the opposite. Abagail had a very caring heart. She just simply didn’t love Nicola.

I’m fond of you.

Nicola could have rolled her eyes at that. Who said something like that and actually meant it? It was so off-putting and patronizing. Just that thought alone churned Nicola’s stomach toward hatred and annoyance. She should have known better, and she should have protected herself better.

But she hadn’t. She’d gotten swept up in the idea of an older woman swooping in to take care of her, of righting the wrong, of defending her when those who were bullies to her resurfaced. And it had all been based on a fantasy and a lie.

“I was going to ask if I can come stay with you a bit, but I need this job here, and I can’t do that commute for it.”

“So what will you do?” Simone asked.

“Get a hotel room for a bit until I can rent out a studio nearby, I suppose. I just worry about leaving Alanna so far away on her own, too. I know she’s an adult now, but she needs me.” Nicola ran her fingers through her hair and pressed her shoulders into the seat of her car.

“She needs you or do you need her?” Simone sounded so confident when she asked that.

“Probably a little of both.”

“She’s an adult, Nic. And she needs to be treated like an adult and not a child.”

“But she can’t be an adult, not like anyone else can.” Nicola winced. She hated the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. “I know what you mean.”

“Do you?” Simone sighed. “I spent a lot of time with her yesterday, and she’s worried about you. Not just because of whatever this is with Abagail but because you seem to be running yourself ragged to take care of her. She might not physically be able to do what she used to, but mentally, she’s fine. And she’s well aware of how much stress you put on yourself to take care of her. But she’s an adult, Nic. And she needs to be given the voice of an adult, not a child.”

“I know. I know.” Nicola shook her head. She’d known that for a while, that she was in some ways infantilizing Alanna because it was easier than letting Alanna work through some issues on her own, but at the same time, someone had to be there to help out because she couldn’t do it all.

Neither can you, Nic.

It was like she could hear Alanna say those words out loud. And Nicola hated to admit it, but imagined Alanna was right. No one could do all of this on their own, and she really needed to start asking for help and then taking it when it was offered.

“I’ll work on that,” Nicola said. “Hey, I’ve got to get inside to get started on my shift, all right?”

“Yeah, sure,” Simone said softly. “Call me tomorrow, though. I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine. I always am.” Nicola didn’t say anything else as she hung up.

Tommie walked through the back door to the bar, and Nicola knew that she could finally get inside. She snagged her purse and pocketed her keys in it before she followed Tommie’s footsteps. She was early for her shift, but she was pretty damn sure that she wouldn’t be turned away if she showed up to help them get set up.

And it’d be nice to be inside before the customers started showing up for the day. Nicola stashed her purse in the small break area that they had, locking it up and then straightening her back.

“You’re early,” Tommie commented.

“Uh yeah… I needed to clear my head.”

“So you thought you’d come here?” Tommie raised an eyebrow of disbelief at her.

Nicola shrugged slightly, plastering on an innocent and confused smile. “Yeah?”

“Fine, but you’re not going to stand there and do nothing.” Tommie tossed a washcloth at her. “We need to scrub the floors before open, and the back behind the bar needs scrubbed today.”

“Perfect.” Nicola could do that. She could focus on cleaning and ignore the fact that the world around her was an absolute dumpster fire that she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to surface from.

Thirty minutes into their cleaning fest, Nicola finally broached the topic that was weighing on her. Tommie had far more connections in this part of town than Nicola did, and like she’d thought when she was talking to Simone—it was time to ask for help.

“Do you know of any studio apartments for rent? Or anyone looking for a roommate? Despite what happened when we met, I promise you that I’m not full of drama.” Nicola wrung out the washcloth and grabbed the scrubby to keep cleaning.

Tommie narrowed her eyes as she thought. “There’s a few studios in my building that I think just came on the market.”

“Neighbors?” Nicola chuckled lightly. “I see how this works.”

“When do you need it by?” Tommie asked, ignoring Nicola’s comment.

“As soon as possible.” She’d almost said tonight, but she caught herself and changed it last minute. She didn’t need Tommie knowing that she didn’t actually have a place to stay that night. But Tommie had been around the block a time or two, and it was damn clear that she wasn’t buying Nicola’s comment.

“You don’t have a place to stay tonight, do you?”

“No,” Nicola confessed. “I was just going to crash in my car.”

“That’s not safe. Not even in the nicest of neighborhoods.” Tommie stopped mopping and stared at Nicola hard. “You can crash with me for the week, but then you have to find your own place.”

“Really?” Nicola furrowed her brow. “I didn’t think you liked me.”

“I don’t.” Tommie’s lips twitched upward into a half-smile. “But Warren did you dirty, and I don’t like him more.”

“I…” Nicola squinted at her. “What do you mean by that?”

“He’s a regular here, Nicola. You think I don’t know what he’s been getting up to these last few years?”

“Oh.” So this was all because of pity and the fact that Tommie felt guilty about Warren’s cheating. She wasn’t sure she wanted to take it then, but it was a place to stay for a little while.

“And it wasn’t like you came in here asking to crash at my place. You’re trying to figure your own shit out. I’m glad you dumped the fucker.”

Did Nicola tell her that she wasn’t the one who broke it off? That she wasn’t the one who actually took that final step? Would it matter in the long run?

“He’s a piece of work, just like his aunt.”

“His aunt?” Nicola went back to cleaning the bar back. She had no idea what to say. She’d thought they were similar at first, but the more she’d gotten to know Abagail, the more she’d realized just how different the two of them were. They were never that much alike. Warren was a spoiled brat, and Abagail worked her ass off even when she didn’t have to.

“She’s a bitch.”

Nicola chuckled lightly at that.

“Rude,” Tommie added. “But she does always pay her bill and tip well.”

“She would,” Nicola murmured. Because Abagail wasn’t so disconnected from society to understand just how hard a waitress worked to make a living.

“She’s just… bitchy.”

“Bitchy? Really? Or is it that she’s closed off and not warm and fuzzy?” Nicola had no idea why she was even defending Abagail. They weren’t together anymore, and she was damn sure that Abagail wouldn’t find it necessary at all for Nicola to be doing it.

“I guess she’s got a bad case of RBF.”

Nicola laughed at that. “Yeah, she does.”

“I suppose you know her well because of Warren.”

“Oh um…?” Nicola pursed her lips and scrubbed a little harder at a sticky spot on the bar back. “I know her more because I’ve been staying with her since Warren and I broke up. She’s been helping give me some breathing space to get back on my feet.”

“Warren’s aunt?” Tommie froze in disbelief. “Jesus, I thought that woman was as locked up as a vault. How did you manage to convince her to do that?”

“It wasn’t that hard, actually.” Nicola didn’t dare look up at Tommie. “I guess it helped because she felt bad for me after the whole breakup.”

“Why would she feel bad for you?” Tommie sounded confused.

“Because he broke up with me,” Nicola confessed.

“What? You didn’t ditch him?”

“No.” Nicola blew out a breath and rolled her eyes at herself. “I was an idiot in a lot of ways, and even though I knew he was cheating on me for years, I wasn’t the one to take that step. He did.”

“Why did he break up with you? What did he say?” Tommie’s voice was soft now and she was leaning over the other end of the bar, like this was serious and she wanted to make sure that Nicola knew that.

“He told me that I’d outrun my usefulness to him.”

“What?” The word cracked through the empty bar. “He’s such a douche canoe.”

Nicola snorted and then laughed. “Yeah, yeah he really is.”

thirty-four

“I don’t know what to do!” Abagail started as soon as Elia answered the phone.

“Well, slow down, tell me what happened.” Elia’s calm voice was all Abagail needed right now—well, almost.

One week.

And Abagail was going crazy.

One week ago, she’d gone to Nicola’s room only to find it empty. Her things were gone, her car was gone, she was gone. And the house had been so quiet, the air thick with something that she couldn’t name, and she hated it.

Nothing Abagail had done in that week had made a dent in changing the atmospheric wake left by Nicola’s absence. And yet, Abagail still couldn’t put a damn name to what she was feeling or thinking.

Worried? Yes.

Nicola had no place to go or stay. She did have a job, and Abagail had been such an idiot that she had checked and seen if Nicola had been showing up for her shifts—she had been. So she was around still, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t sleeping in her car again. Which Abagail suspected she was. She’d prefer the car over dealing with the fact Abagail had ended their agreement.

Fearful? Absolutely.

Nicola wasn’t prepared for the world out there. She hadn’t done a good job of setting herself up for success, and even though she was a survivor and had proven that over and over again, Abagail knew it would be easier if she’d just let Abagail take care of some things. Not everything, but a few things here and there, like a damn roof over her head and food in her belly.

Mad? Damn straight.

What if Nicola had ended up back together with Warren? It would explain many things, including the silence that Nicola had given her in the last week. Abagail had tried to text and call her, but Nicola hadn’t answered or responded later. And Abagail had slowed down her attempts to contact her. But she hadn’t been lying when she’d told Nicola that she was fond of her.

Lonely?

Abagail wasn’t sure she’d quite label what she was feeling as that. At least, not yet. She certainly missed her nights with Nicola, although they hadn’t had many of those before she’d left anyway. But there did seem to be a hole left by Nicola’s absence, one that wasn’t very dark, wasn’t very deep, and Abagail was still trying to explore exactly how it was there. Because it felt so similar to when she and Elia had been in the height of their issues.

But Nicola wasn’t Elia.

“What’s got you so upset about this?” Elia asked, and Abagail could hear her breathing heavily through the phone.

“Are you busy?” Abagail finally asked, realizing far too late that she hadn’t asked if Elia had time for this conversation.

“I’m just getting to my house for dinner. I’ll be home in a minute.”

“All right.” Abagail pressed her lips together in a thin line. “I haven’t heard from her since she left.”

“When did she leave?”

“The same day you did, after we had our talk.”

“Talk.” Elia said that word like it was going to answer all the questions Abagail wasn’t being asked. “What did you say to her?”

“I told her that what was happening needed to stop.”

“And what was… happening?”

Abagail’s stomach flopped. She’d already been through this with Elia before, so why was she asking the same damn question again. “Sex.”

“Here’s the thing, Abs, and I’m only going to tell you this once. Aromantic people can have relationships. They don’t look like the standard relationship, but it’s okay to explore what that might look like. So I guess my real question is this—why won’t you explore that with Nicola?” Elia huffed out a breath, and Abagail was fairly certain she was finally in her house.

If only they could be having this conversation in person. It’d be that much better than a phone call. Although their earlier issue of tension and distance that Abagail was the cause of seemed mostly resolved by this point, Abagail wasn’t such a fool as to think that it wouldn’t come back up some day.

“She deserves someone who can give her what she wants,” Abagail said, her tone softening to just above a whisper, and her heart aching in her chest.

“What if what she wants is you?”

“She doesn’t.” Abagail shook her head.

“Okay, we’re going to sidestep that conversation for a minute, because until you actually talk to her, you won’t know the true answer to that question.”

Now Abagail was being scolded into thinking that she was wrong the entire time. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I want you to be honest, and I want you to stop avoiding your feelings.”

“I don’t have feelings.”

Elia snorted. “We both know a line of bullshit when we see it.”

Abagail laughed, the sound bubbling up from her chest and through her lips, and she let it release into the wild. Her lips curled upward, and she shook her head. God, this was why she loved Elia. She was able to call her out like this no matter what.

“Fine, I have feelings,” Abagail admitted through a few lingering chuckles.

“For Nicola?”

“I told you that I’m fond of her.”

“And beyond that?”

“I want her to get everything she deserves and wants. I empathize with her. I just had the advantage of wealth that she doesn’t have.” Abagail paused then. “I could take care of some of that, but I’m not sure she’d accept it. She’s independent to the core.”

“Like you,” Elia added.

“Yes, like me.”

“I have only one more question for you.”

“What’s that?”

“Why are you talking to me about this again? Shouldn’t you be talking to Nicola?”

Abagail tensed and then relaxed. She should be, but she wasn’t sure quite where to find Nicola. She didn’t want to find her at work and interrupt her there, and Nicola wasn’t taking her calls. Shouldn’t that mean that she needed to give it up and let Nicola go?

“What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?” Abagail asked, sheepishly.

“Oh, is this some lack of self-confidence that you suddenly have? Because that’s not you.”

“It’s not,” Abagail agreed, but she also couldn’t deny that was it in a nutshell. “But I can’t give her what she wants and needs.”

“I’ll reiterate again that you don’t know what either one of those things are. My guess is because you have never even broached the topic or gotten close to it.”

“She wants marriage.”

“And you don’t,” Elia surmised. “And what will happen to your fortune and your businesses when you die?”

“Don’t talk like that.” Abagail wrinkled her nose. Her businesses would close down, and Warren and Estelle would get the family money and most of hers, at least after what went to charity. And just that thought, especially now, really churned her stomach.

“What would happen?”

“It’d stay in the family.”

“And do you want that?”

“Not really,” Abagail answered honestly. She hated giving more to people who already had so much and didn’t really need it. While she had family wealth, it wasn’t something that Abagail actually liked to have had. She much preferred to make a living and work hard for what she deserved. It was something that was hers and no one else’s. “I’ll work on that.”

“All right, and Nicola?”

“I’ll find her and talk to her.” Abagail wasn’t happy that she was saying that, but she also knew it was the right thing. Something was unresolved about their relationship, and she needed to resolve it so they could both move on. Even if it was just for her. And finding Nicola to talk to her would certainly do that.

“Good.” Elia chuckled. “Then call me and tell me what happens because I’m dying to know.”

“Are you?”

“Yes, I have my theories, and I want to know if I’m right.”

“What theories?”

“I’ll tell you when you tell me what happens.”

Abagail groaned and rolled her eyes. When Elia had that tone, there was no talking her out of whatever it was. “I’ll talk to you soon, then.”

Hanging up, Abagail stared at her phone. She would try one more time, but she was pretty damn sure that Nicola wasn’t going to answer.

When it dinged over to Nicola’s voicemail, Abagail hung up. She didn’t want to leave yet another message asking for Nicola to call or text her back or asking where she was. She pocketed her phone and wandered around her house, moving from bedroom to library to kitchen and back again.

What the hell was she doing?

If she wanted to talk to Nicola, then she just needed to get over herself and do it. She snagged her phone again and called Warren. She just had to make sure of one thing before she went to find Nicola. Was this revenge for nothing?

“Aunt Abagail?” Warren seemed surprised by her phone call.

“Warren.” Abagail pressed her lips together in a thin line. She was going to have to figure out exactly how to word this. “What was the result of your attempt to get back together with Nicola?”

“N-nothing?” Warren stuttered. “Why?”

“And do you have a job yet?” Abagail asked, quickly changing the subject.

“I have an interview next week.”

“That’s a start.” She clenched her phone tightly. What to say next? “Do you happen to know where Nicola is staying?”

“No.” He sounded even more confused now.

“Where would she go if she didn’t have a place?”

“Her car? I don’t know. Maybe she’s crashing at Alanna’s.”

Abagail narrowed her gaze as she stared out the window. “Have you ever been to Alanna’s?”

“No. Why would I?”

“Because you were engaged to her for years?” Abagail couldn’t believe him. Was he even more self-centered than she’d originally given him credit for?

“I wasn’t dating her sister.”

“Christ, you’re an idiot.” Abagail growled and shook her head wildly. “Tell me how the interview goes.”

Before Warren could say anything else, she ended the call and silenced her phone. She didn’t want to talk to him again even if she wanted to keep her phone active for Nicola to call her back. Except she knew that Nicola wouldn’t.

She sent a text to Cal, telling him to get the car ready to take her to her bar in a few hours. She’d stake out the place until she saw Nicola leaving her shift, even if she had to spend hours sitting in the car and waiting for that. She didn’t want to disrupt her while she was working, or get her fired again, so she would be patient and wait.

But tonight was the night.

It had to be.

thirty-five

“You good to finish sweeping the floors?” Tommie asked as she untied the apron around her waist.

“Sure. I can do that.” Nicola had stayed late, trying to be the last one there. Ever since her week staying on Tommie’s couch was up, she’d been back to trying to crash wherever she could find someplace comfortable and warm. The bar’s small break room in the back was a welcome change from her car, although not always as comfortable. Nicola pressed her hand into the side of her back, the part that hadn’t stopped aching in two days.

“Cool. Lock up when you’re done!” Tommie grinned at her and snagged the deposit bag. “I’m bringing this to the bank.”

“Got it.” Would Nicola ever be trusted to do that? Maybe if she’d been there longer than a year she would be. But up until that point, they had no reason to actually trust her. Maybe someday she would stay at a job long enough to actually try her hand at more than basic responsibility.

Every place she’d worked told her that she was a great employee, minus the fact that she was inconsistent with her hours and often had to leave randomly because of Alanna. Then again, it had been a while since that had been the problem. Hadn’t it? Alanna had been mostly stable lately.

Maybe this could work. Maybe Nicola could actually get an apartment and settle down and live her own life. She finished sweeping the floor and took out the trash. She locked up the bar, double checked everything, and then settled into the comfy chair that was in the corner of the break room. At least this room had heat, since it was still a bit chilly outside, and she hated that she couldn’t keep her car running all night.

She pulled the small blanket she’d stashed in her locker over her legs and chest and curled up in a ball. She’d be out before the first person came in, and she’d just come right back after showering at the gym and pretend like nothing was amiss. Just like she’d done a million times over already.

“Um… hello?” Tommie’s voice resounded through the room.

Nicola’s heart thundered loudly.

“What are you doing here?”

There was no escape this time. Nicola was caught red-handed. She’d been in this situation before, and she knew exactly what was going to happen next. She was going to be out on her ass, faster than she could say I’m sorry.

“I uh…” Words weren’t coming.

“Are you sleeping here?” Tommie’s voice screeched as she stared at Nicola in shock.

“Yeah?” Nicola said as a question, not entirely sure what else to say. Lying would be out of the question, and maybe if she told the truth, it’d give her the upper hand in trying to get out of this.

“Nicola…” Tommie put her hands on her hips. “You can’t stay here, and quite frankly, I’m not sure what to do about this. I’m going to have to talk to the boss.”

“I can’t lose this job,” Nicola murmured.

“You should have thought about that before you decided to sleep here. Have you been doing this since you left my place?”

Nicola nodded slowly, clenching her fists into the blanket. “I was just going to do it until it warmed up a bit. It’s still cold outside, and I just wanted to be warm.”

Tommie sighed heavily and ran her fingers through her hair. “Get out, Nicola.”

“But—”

“We’ll figure it out tomorrow, but you can’t stay here tonight.”

Nicola wasn’t going to fight it. She’d known she was wrong from the start. She shoved the blanket into the backpack that she’d brought inside, and slung it over her shoulder. Once again, she had no idea what to say. Tommie was being way nicer than she needed to be about everything. She could have screamed and yelled, or she could have called the police. It wouldn’t be the first time that Nicola had dealt with something like that, and she was pretty damn sure that now it wouldn’t be the last time either.

She was silent as she stepped outside, as Tommie made sure to lock up after her and stared her down. “You don’t have any keys, right?”

“No,” Nicola answered and shivered in the cold. “Why’d you come back?”

“Left my phone.” Tommie frowned and sighed heavily. “I hope he doesn’t fire you for this. I actually like you.”

Nicola snorted lightly. “Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the outcome. Go on, don’t feel bad about it. It was my choice.”

“Yeah, it was.” Tommie still shook her head with guilt though. “See you tomorrow.”

“To face the music!” Nicola gave a nervous chuckle and watched as Tommie walked off.

She started toward her car and halted, frozen on the spot, at the dark SUV that was parked on the street and the short, spunky, fiery woman standing outside the back door with her shoulders square, an upset look on her face, and no way to actually avoid her.

“Fuck.”

“Explain to me why it’s well after closing, and you’re just now leaving the bar,” Abagail’s voice burst through the air. “Better yet, explain to me why you look like you were just kicked out on your ass again.”

“I-I wasn’t,” Nicola stuttered as she strode toward Abagail. Two could play at this game, and while she hadn’t been prepared for a fight, she wasn’t going to avoid one either. She could use the burst of energy to keep her going for the rest of the night.

“The truth, Nicola.” Abagail’s tone was a warning if Nicola had ever heard one.

“It’s none of your business anyway! What do you care?” Nicola tightened her grip on the strap to her backpack and walked toward Abagail. She wasn’t going to shout down the street at each other so the cops could actually get called on her and she’d be hauled off then. Because they damn sure would believe Abagail over her.

“Oh, I care.” Abagail’s jaw clenched, her eyes narrowed, and her hands fisted at her sides. The lights from the streetlamps were barely enough to illuminate her, but Nicola would know that look anywhere. She was about to get the shit scolded out of her. “And if you think for one second that I don’t, then I haven’t explained myself well enough.”

Nicola stopped at that. “What?”

“Nic, everything okay?” Tommie stepped up on the sidewalk, staring at the two of them.

“Uh… yeah.” Nicola nodded. “We’re fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I can handle it. Thanks.” Nicola didn’t want to seem too dismissive, but she also really didn’t want Tommie involved in this. It’d absolutely ruin any chance of her keeping her job if they found out she had fucked the owner.

She waited until Tommie walked off before stepping in even closer to Abagail.

“I don’t want to hear anything of it,” she growled out. “I’m done with you.”

“Why?” Abagail frowned, reaching out and touching Nicola’s arm. “I thought we left on a good note.”

“Good note?” Nicola furrowed her brow. “I mean, yeah, it wasn’t a bad note. But you’re done with me now, so why are you here even? You told me it was over. So it’s over.”

“I…” Abagail cocked her head. “Where have you been staying?”

“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Nicola curled her fingers around the strap to her backpack, trying to keep her hands to herself, but Abagail’s fingers wrapped around her wrist burned her. “I’m not yours to keep.”

“I never wanted to keep you.” Abagail let go of her and leaned against the car, heaving out a breath. “I never wanted to do anything but help you, and I told you that you could stay at the house longer if you needed.”

“No, not if our agreement was over.”

“What was the agreement?” Abagail’s lips thinned. “Because I’m not even sure if I remember it anymore.”

“Sex for money. You stopped paying me, so I moved out.”

Humming, Abagail nodded slowly. “That’s my fault then.”

“What’s your fault?”

“For letting you think that’s all I wanted you for, and for letting you think that’s all you deserved.”

A weight lifted from Nicola’s chest that she hadn’t even known was there. She struggled to grasp it and keep it in place, but it was gone before she could manage to do that. What had that even been? Shame? That word settled into place as right and truthful. Nicola breathed deeply through it. She hadn’t even realized it was there.

“When I ended our arrangement, it was because none of this felt right anymore.” Abagail stepped closer, reaching up and cupping Nicola’s cheek. “I never want you to think that you don’t deserve everything that you want.”

“What I want…” Nicola trailed off. She’d never thought about it before. Ever since she was a teenager, her entire life had been focused on trying to figure out what everyone else wanted and attempting to find some way to provide that to them. And she failed miserably at that time and time again.

“I ended our arrangement because you deserve better than what I was giving you.” Abagail’s eyes crinkled in the corners as her lips turned up slightly. “And I’m here because I don’t think I made that very clear to you.”

“You didn’t,” Nicola agreed, softening instantly, “I didn’t get fired tonight, for the record. But I’m pretty sure I will be tomorrow.”

“Because you were sleeping here?” Abagail asked, but it didn’t seem like a question that needed answered.

Nicola nodded anyway.

“Come home,” Abagail whispered.

Nicola’s heart leaped. That was something she was looking for. She’d always wanted that. Home. And staying with Abagail, despite the oddities of their relationship, had always felt like that. She was comfortable there, independent, free, and able to be exactly who she wanted and needed to be in every moment.

“I’ll come home,” Nicola murmured.

She stepped toward Abagail, finding herself pulled as much as she moved willingly. Their mouths connected. Abagail slid her hand behind Nicola’s neck, holding her tightly as she turned and pressed Nicola into the side of the car, covering her. The backpack dug into Nicola’s shoulder, and she dropped it loudly to the ground, reaching up and wrapping her arms around Abagail’s neck and tugging her in even tighter.

Their lips touched.

Nicola sighed and closed her eyes, Abagail against her and in complete and total control of the situation. She parted her lips and slid her tongue out to meet Abagail’s, moaning as she pulled herself tightly against Abagail’s warmth and passion and command. She wanted nothing more than to be touched by Abagail, to be fucked by her, to be loved by her.

Because Nicola was in love.

She’d avoided that thought for weeks now, but it was impossible to ignore right now, with Abagail’s mouth and body against hers, with the heat of their passion blending together and getting ready to combust. She was in love. Not with what Abagail could give her and be for her, but who she was and how she allowed Nicola to be authentically herself in so many ways even when Nicola didn’t know who that person was.

Abagail trailed her hand down Nicola’s side and back up over her stomach and her breasts. She moved her hand to capture Nicola’s neck, holding her firmly—tight enough that Nicola felt possessed, but not so tight as to make her lose herself entirely. Nicola groaned, digging her fingers into Abagail’s jacket and holding on as tight as she possibly could.

She rocked her hips, her knees going weak. Abagail stepped in closer, making completely sure that Nicola wasn’t going anywhere—by her own choice or if her body gave out. Nicola hummed and moved one hand around to the front of Abagail’s jacket, trying desperately to pull the buttons so she could weasel her hands inside and just touch.

She wanted nothing more than touch right now—passionate, pure, loving touch. Abagail could give that to her. She’d done it so many times already. Nicola nipped Abagail’s lip and whispered, “I could come just from this.”

Abagail chuckled, then tightened her grip on Nicola’s neck, lifting her chin a little higher before pulling it down so that they were looking at each other eye to eye. “Don’t come yet.”

“Fuck,” Nicola murmured.

Abagail mischievously winked as she dove back in for another kiss, this time holding absolutely nothing back. Their mouths melded together, and Nicola had to press her thighs together to keep the tension and arousal confined as best as she could. Finally, Abagail pulled away, putting enough space between them that Nicola could breathe, but she was still locked between the car and Abagail.

“Get in.”

“Are we going home?” Nicola asked, a smile curving onto her lips at just the thought.

“Yes.” Abagail stepped back and put enough space between them that Nicola could move again. Abagail opened the back door and held the handle while Nicola scrambled for her backpack and crawled inside the back seat.

“Hey, Cal,” Nicola said, cheerfully.

“Ms. Bolsinger,” he said, a smile in his tone. “Good to see you again.”

“You too.” She giggled as Abagail sat next to her. “We’re going home.”

“Home it is,” Cal answered.

thirty-six

With the car engine off and Cal already back inside the house, Abagail breathed in relief along with Nicola’s scent. She caught the stench of alcohol that Nicola must have spilled on her clothes, but it wasn’t overwhelming, and it didn’t overshadow the scent that was entirely hers.

“So…” Nicola said into the silent car. “Your room or mine?”

“Mine.” Abagail reached over and took Nicola’s hand. This, unlike before, felt right. She brought Nicola’s hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles tenderly. “I need you to understand that I don’t do relationships. This isn’t something… I don’t do this.”

“O…kay?” Nicola squeezed Abagail’s fingers. “So what are we doing?”

“I don’t know.” Abagail shook her head, imploring Nicola to figure out what she couldn’t say. “Figuring it out as we go?”

“Do you want a relationship with me?”

“No.” Abagail said that firmly but softly. She wasn’t repulsed by Nicola, but everyone equated relationship or lack of relationship with either love or hate. There was never an in-between. “But I want to be near you.”

“What does that mean, though?” Nicola asked.

“I don’t know.” Abagail’s lips twitched. “That’s what we need to figure out.”

Turning Nicola’s wrist over, Abagail kissed the soft skin there. She breathed in Nicola’s scent and closed her eyes, memorizing it. Scraping her teeth across the skin, Abagail listened for the change in Nicola’s breathing, the one that would indicate that she was as into this as Abagail was. And fuck, she hoped Nicola was.

She did it again, and there it was. That little hiccup of a breath, the little whine in the back of her throat—it was exactly like Abagail remembered it being before and exactly what she wanted to hear now. Abagail kissed her again, moving in to press her lips to Nicola’s cheek. She slowly moved closer, nipping at Nicola’s earlobe and breathing against her.

“I want you so much,” Abagail breathed out the words, her heart thundering and her entire body begging for Nicola to touch. Not just anyone, but Nicola.

“I’m yours,” Nicola whispered, turning her head just enough so their lips touched in a slow, intimate embrace. “I’m not sure I could be anyone else’s again.”

A thrill ran through Abagail at that statement. She’d never quite thought about it like that before. But they were each going to give all of who they were to the other. Abagail nipped Nicola’s lower lip, smiling when Nicola hummed in pleasure as a response. She wanted Nicola, now.

Opening the back door of the car, Abagail slid out and waited until Nicola stepped out with her. She laced their fingers together and stepped into the house from the garage, locking the door immediately. She kissed Nicola again. Reaching between them, she undid the buttons on her jacket and dropped it onto the floor, along with the scarf that she’d wound around her neck.

She stared directly at Nicola, wanting and hoping that Nicola would follow every intention that she was setting. Abagail took a step backward, her heeled shoe clicking against the hardwood floor.

Nicola grinned broadly, immediately pulling at her jacket and dropping it along with Abagail’s as she tracked every step Abagail took. As soon as Abagail reached the bottom of the stairs, she turned around and took the first step up. Nicola was right up against her, hands against her stomach and across her chest. She pressed her lips to Abagail’s shoulder and then scraped her teeth lightly over the skin.

Abagail drew in a shuddering breath and reached behind her head, holding onto the back of Nicola’s and sliding her fingers through the soft locks of hair she found. Nicola’s hand dropped to the edge of Abagail’s skirt, dragging it up her thigh slowly. Abagail groaned and leaned back into Nicola, holding onto the railing of the stairs for support.

“Don’t stop,” Abagail murmured, her eyes fluttering shut as Nicola slid her fingers underneath the elastic of Abagail’s panties and brushed the pads of her fingers over her swollen lips. “Fuck me.”

Nicola didn’t wait. She slid her hand under the fabric and rubbed against Abagail’s clit. Her knees nearly gave out, and she had to grasp tightly to keep herself upright and to keep Nicola’s hand against her. Abagail vibrated under the touch, her entire body trembling from just the slightest movement.

“Wait!” Abagail blurted out.

Immediately stopping, Nicola kept her hand in place, but Abagail moved it to the side. She turned around, standing barely taller than Nicola since she had a whole stair advantage. She grabbed Nicola by the front of her shirt and dragged her forward, kissing her hard. Their teeth gnashed together momentarily before Abagail caught her breath, easing the kiss so it wasn’t as intense.

Letting go, Abagail walked her way up the stairs. She pulled the zipper of her dress down and shimmied out of it as she went, dropping it right outside her bedroom door before she disappeared inside. She knew that Nicola would be following her. They’d been building up to this.

“Get on the bed,” Abagail ordered as she leaned against the bed to pull off her shoes and toss them into the corner of the room where she wouldn’t trip on them.

“Just on the bed?” Nicola asked, a light tease in her tone. “Or naked on the bed?”

Abagail let out a grunt. “Get on the bed.” She was curious what Nicola would do when she wasn’t the one directly in control. So far Nicola had been in charge, but it was Abagail’s turn. And she’d wanted this turn more than anything.

Nicola pulled her shirt off, but she didn’t take her pants off. She pulled herself backward onto the edge of the bed so she was sitting properly on it, her head canted to the side as she eyed Abagail with nothing but lust in her gaze. Abagail’s lips quirked upward, and she moved in to kiss Nicola again. She bent her backward, pushing her down into the mattress while she skimmed her fingers against Nicola’s smooth, warm skin.

“You’re so beautiful,” Abagail whispered as she moved to kiss each one of Nicola’s hardened nipples. She swore this woman never wore a bra. Then again, in the waitressing that she was doing, that probably worked to her advantage.

She took one of Nicola’s nipples between her lips and sucked hard while she snaked her hands down to Nicola’s waist and pulled at her jeans to get them off. She wanted access, immediately, to everything that she’d wanted in the last few weeks and hadn’t had. She’d put walls up to protect not only herself but to protect Nicola, but they were all down now.

Abagail jerked her hands down with the jeans grasped tightly between her fingers, pulling them off Nicola’s hips and ass and down to just below her knees. She grinned up at Nicola and raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure about this?” Abagail asked.

Nicola nodded before she’d even finished asking the question. “Hell yes. I want this so bad.”

Abagail breathed deeply, catching a whiff of Nicola’s scent, the pure scent that was uniquely her arousal and no one else’s. She closed her eyes and focused on it for a second before she looked back at Nicola. “Let’s do this.”

She pressed a path of kisses from Nicola’s breasts to her hips. Abagail nipped her before she grabbed the pants that were still confining Nicola’s legs and used them to push Nicola’s knees apart and lock her in place. Nicola gasped, her hips pushing upward as if she was going to get more touch that way. Abagail smiled to herself as she slid two fingers deep inside and covered Nicola’s clit with her mouth.

The flavor burst on her tongue, and she nearly had to stop for a second because it overwhelmed her. She pressed her forehead into Nicola’s thigh and breathed through the moment before she dove back in. She didn’t take this slow. They’d waited far too long for slow and sensual—and it really wasn’t like them anyway.

Abagail curled her fingers upward, adding pressure, while she opened her mouth and pressed the flat of her tongue against Nicola’s clit and moved her head back and forth rapidly. Nicola cried out, her moan of pleasure the siren’s call that Abagail had been waiting for.

Pleasure ran through Abagail, moving from her mouth to her nipples to right between her legs. It built stronger and harder as she focused on bringing Nicola to the cusp of what would definitely be just her first orgasm of the night. Abagail licked her and repositioned her mouth and breathed in the full force of Nicola’s arousal.

“Abs…” Nicola moaned, rocking her hips against Abagail’s face at the same time. “More.”

Abagail was planning on giving her more, and she wasn’t planning on stopping any time soon. She wanted to be fucking Nicola as the sun breeched the horizon and cast a new light on them. Abagail pushed her fingers in deeper before pulling out and adding a third. She wished she had her strap so she could fill Nicola like she was begging to be filled, but she wanted this intimacy, this closeness, the complete surrender of Nicola against her mouth.

“More…” Nicola said again, dragging out the word as she writhed on the edge of the bed.

Sucking and teasing, Abagail continued. She stopped holding back. She stopped putting up walls where they didn’t belong. She stopped being someone she wasn’t and moved into the whole of who she knew herself to be at this moment in time. Someone strong. Someone capable. Someone who very much wanted to be here and nowhere else, despite what those implications meant.

“Abs!” Nicola cried out, her body jerking before she tensed.

Abagail breathed slowly, tenderly keeping her pace and touches against Nicola until she felt Nicola’s gentle hands against her head, prying her off. She settled her cheek against Nicola’s thigh, kissing her with her wet lips and steadying her own breathing while she waited for Nicola’s high to come down.

“Fuck, Abs.”

Abagail chuckled, smiling to herself before she pulled herself upward a bit more. She reached behind her back and unhooked her bra, then stepped back to slide her thong off. She wanted to be completely against Nicola for this next one, to slide body to body.

She took Nicola’s shoes off and then her pants and underwear, finally seeing her in her full form. Abagail breathed in deeply, her lips still quirked upward. She couldn’t remember the last time that she smiled for this long.

“I want you to fuck me. Just you and me and nothing between us.” Abagail ran her hands up and down Nicola’s thighs. “Think you can handle that?”

Because there was no way that Abagail could be on top for that one. She didn’t have the stamina, but Nicola most definitely did. Nicola’s eyes lit up and she nodded wildly, pulling back and rolling so that there was room on the bed for Abagail to climb onto it. She lay down in the middle, adjusting herself for a second before Nicola bent down and kissed her ankle.

Abagail closed her eyes, feeling nothing but those sweet lips on her skin, the soft brush of Nicola’s hair along her calf as she moved upward, the warmth of her breath when she reached Abagail’s thigh. She was so ready for this, to press their bodies together and fuck until the morning finally approached them. They weren’t built for late nights anymore. They were built for all day, every day. They’d been through hell and high water, and they were going to take this next step together, one foot at a time.

“Come here,” Abagail mumbled, begging Nicola to come forward.

She did, but she took her damn time doing it. Nicola laughed as she blazed a random path of kisses and touches from Abagail’s thigh to her hips to her stomach, her breasts, teasing each one of her nipples into a point until Abagail was whimpering and groaning from the touch. When she finally moved upward to Abagail’s neck, Abagail was laughing and trying to entice Nicola to move faster.

With hands against Nicola’s head, Abagail guided her up until their mouths touched. She immediately parted her lips and brushed their tongues together, deepening the kiss until she couldn’t breathe and had to pull back for a second. But it wasn’t long before Abagail dove back in. She didn’t want to be away from touching and kissing for very long. She wanted to make the most of every second they had.

Nicola moved around, positioning herself right where Abagail wanted her. She started slow, keeping her body low to give Abagail kisses often before she picked up speed. Abagail rutted against her, matching Nicola’s movements and holding onto her as tightly as she could.

Each time Nicola rubbed against Abagail’s clit, it sent off a fire of pleasure through her, but then she’d move away. Abagail breathed heavily, focusing on the feeling and the rhythm. They were doing this together, for the first time on equal footing. She smiled up at Nicola and allowed the pleasure to course through her and consume her.

Nicola kept going, pushing her body toward a second orgasm and keeping Abagail’s right at the forefront of everything happening in this moment. They ground against each other until Nicola threw her head back, the line of her neck slick with sweat. She crashed onto the bed next to Abagail, laughing and shaking her head.

“What happens next?” Nicola asked.

“I don’t know,” Abagail answered, brushing her fingers across Nicola’s cheek to move the stray strands of hair from her skin. “We stay up the rest of the night.”

“And fuck?”

“Yeah.” Abagail leaned in and kissed her quickly. “And fuck.”

Nicola slid in, deepening the kiss. She wrapped her hand around the back of Abagail’s neck and tangled their legs together. “And then what?”

“Then we figure it out. One day at a time.”

Nicola sighed contentedly. “We deserve something, right?”

“We deserve everything.”

thirty-seven

Abagail hummed as the light trickled through the window and cast its fingers against her skin. Nicola smiled as she bent down, pressing a kiss right between Abagail’s shoulders as she hovered on top of her.

All night.

Well, to be fair, they’d started pretty far into the morning, but they hadn’t slept a wink. The sun was finally coming in through the windows and they were winding down. Nicola pressed another kiss, this one closer to Abagail’s shoulder, and then her cheek. Then Nicola was working her way back down Abagail’s back.

“It’s morning,” Nicola murmured.

“It is,” Abagail answered, staying right where she was with her body planted in the bed and her head turned to the side.

Nicola trailed her tongue along the top of Abagail’s ass and then kissed each cheek before scraping her teeth against the lower curve of her ass. “Do you think this will actually work?”

“I don’t know.” Abagail laughed lightly. “I feel like I’m saying that a lot to your questions.”

“Yeah, but it’s honest.”

Abagail hummed, her eyes closing slowly.

“Did you want to go to sleep?”

“No, not yet.” Abagail didn’t really move, though. She hummed as Nicola worked her way back up to Abagail’s shoulders, with kisses here and there. This gentle way of touching each other was something they didn’t often do, and Nicola loved every second of it.

“I want to fuck you like this,” Nicola whispered, pressing her hips down against Abagail’s ass so she could feel her weight. “Half-asleep and from behind.”

Abagail hummed, her lips curling upward into that rare smile that Nicola had come to love. Then again, Abagail had been doing a whole lot of smiling that night.

“I want it to be a lazy fuck, where we get off together.” Nicola moved her hand across Abagail’s back and skin, sliding her fingers between Abagail’s legs and dipping them inside her. She was still wet, not that Nicola expected any different. She slid her fingers inside Abagail, slowly pumping them in and out.

Groaning, Abagail pushed her ass back against Nicola and buried her face in the pillow under her head and chest. Nicola continued to slowly tease her, two fingers at first and then a third. She wanted the strap; she wanted something so she could kiss Abagail at the same time.

Nicola pulled away suddenly, heading straight for the drawer where she knew the strap was. She wasn’t going to second guess her decision this time. They both needed this. She slipped it on and immediately got back on the bed. Abagail turned on her side slightly, curious what Nicola was doing, and when she saw the toy between Nicola’s legs, her lips curled up in a stunning ear-to-ear grin.

“You weren’t kidding,” Abagail said.

“I never joke.” Nicola gave Abagail a fake frown and shook her head before she laughed. She scooted forward, pressing her knees against the back of Abagail’s thighs and rotating her hips even more so she was completely lying on her side.

With one hand on Abagail’s ankle, Nicola pulled Abagail’s leg upward so that Abagail’s calf rested on her shoulder, and then she slowly started to insert the toy inside her. Abagail groaned, turning her face into the pillow and burying herself again. Nicola went as slowly as she possibly could, knowing full well that Abagail was probably super sore and sensitive from the last few hours.

This wasn’t to cause any kind of pain—though Abagail liked that too—it was simply to give Abagail the greatest amount of pleasure that Nicola possibly could to bring in the new day. Abagail grunted lightly as soon as Nicola was deep inside her. Nicola held the position and waited for Abagail to settle entirely before she slid the toy back out with as much care and tease as she could manage.

Scooting in even closer so that the backs of Abagail’s thighs were against the tops of hers, Nicola pushed up and increased her pace. She reached down, finding Abagail’s clit and rubbing two fingers back and forth across the hard, swollen nub.

“Ah! Gentle!” Abagail cried out, her face scrunching up briefly before Nicola managed to ease the touch to something softer.

When she did, Abagail hummed her pleasure and then threw her hands over her head, turning slightly so that she could look up at Nicola, and smiled yet again. She stayed there for a while, pushing up each time she pressed all the way in. Abagail groaned and pushed herself back down each time Nicola did that, so it must feel good.

Nicola bent forward slightly, grabbing Abagail’s one breast that she could manage to reach and toying with her pebbled nipple, tugging on it and pinching it. Abagail began to shake, her entire body trembling as Nicola continued to tease her into oblivion.

“Come apart for me,” Nicola whispered. She wasn’t exactly sure why she said that, or where the words came from, but she wanted to see Abagail completely unraveled underneath her. The stoic woman who always seemed to have everything together and to know every answer just a mess of sensations, feelings, and at a loss for words. “Come on,” Nicola encouraged.

Abagail closed her eyes, concentrating.

Nicola kept the pattern of her fingers the same, kept the rhythm of her thrusts gentle and firm as she pushed upward and held for a second before pulling back out. Abagail gasped, her entire body vibrating as raw sensations filled her. Nicola’s lips pulled upward. This was exactly what she wanted, what she’d needed.

Bending down immediately, Nicola locked their mouths together in a simmering embrace. Abagail held onto her, keeping her in place even as Nicola slowed the kiss down and shifted Abagail’s leg down. She lay on her side, keeping the toy planted deep inside Abagail as she cradled her.

“Elia says I’m aromantic,” Abagail said, brushing her fingers across Nicola’s lips. “She had to explain what that one meant to me.”

Nicola hummed and nodded. “A lot of people associate it with asexual.”

Abagail nodded, again brushing the pads of her fingers across Nicola’s damp lips. “What do you think?”

“I think you are who you are, whether you want a label or not.” Nicola skimmed her hand down Abagail’s side to her hip and back up again. “What did the label do for you?”

“Gave me words for something I’ve never been able to explain before,” Abagail murmured.

“Then it seems like it did the trick for now.” Nicola moved in and kissed her quickly.

“I can’t love you.” Abagail looked deep into Nicola’s eyes. “And I don’t want that to hurt you.”

Nicola was about to tell her there was no way that wouldn’t happen, but she stopped herself. Because it might very well hurt at times. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t deep understanding and compassion that might come with it. Abagail was being as honest as she could, which was what they needed right now.

“I do love you,” Nicola whispered back, giving Abagail a small smile. “Despite my best efforts not to.”

“Best efforts?” Abagail teased.

“Yeah. Something about being in love with your ex-fiancé’s overbearing and financially controlling aunt sounds wrong even though it feels so right.” Nicola cupped Abagail’s breast and squeezed lightly before letting go.

“I wouldn’t have to be so financially controlling if he’d grow up.”

“Agreed,” Nicola said, cutting that part of the conversation short. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about Warren, especially when they were still naked and the strap was still planted firmly inside Abagail. “How do you envision our relationship?”

“Just like it is now,” Abagail answered. “You live your life, and I live mine, and we get to fuck whenever we want.”

“More partners? Open relationship?”’

Abagail shook her head slowly. “No. Just you and me.”

“That sounds like a relationship, you know.”

Humming, Abagail nodded. “I know it does. But that’s just what I see for it in this moment. Who knows what the future will hold? You might fall head over heels in love with some strapping young human and leave me in the dust.”

“Never,” Nicola whispered and kissed her again. “You’re too valuable for that.”

“I did something, and I don’t want you to be mad about it.” Abagail pulled away slightly, locking their gazes together. “I realized there was really only one advantage that I had growing up that you didn’t when your parents died.”

“What’s that?” Nicola furrowed her brow in confusion, her stomach swimming with nerves.

“Money.” Abagail frowned slightly. “I’m in the process of making a trust.”

“For me?”

“No. For Alanna.” Abagail’s lips thinned. “She’s going to need some sort of care for the rest of her life, and that care comes with great expense. She won’t be able to work or live on her own, ever. And you deserve to not have that burden on your shoulders.”

“Abs, you don’t have to⁠—”

“No, I don’t. And please don’t think this is a misguided attempt to keep you in my bed whenever I want. As soon as the trust is set up, I won’t be attached to it. You will. I’m simply funding it. I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to keep you connected to me if you don’t want to be.”

Nicola parted her lips to say something but then stopped. She had no idea what to even say to that. She’d never expected something like this.

“Like I told you last night, I want you to get everything that you want and deserve and more. This is just one way to guarantee that’ll happen. And it’ll help Alanna, too. Consistency of care is important.”

“I don’t have words.” Nicola moved in and kissed Abagail hard. “Does the rest of the world know how soft you are?”

“I’m not soft,” Abagail said, her lips moving into a slight pout before she masked the look immediately. “I just think that there are a lot of problems in the world, and sometimes, money can solve them.”

Nicola laughed lightly. “Fuck, I love you.” She moved in swiftly, capturing Abagail’s lips in a heated and happy kiss. She laughed again when she pulled away and grinned. “I need to tell Aunt Simone and Alanna.”

“Sure, but not right now. It’s barely even morning.” Abagail pulled her leg up over Nicola’s hip and tugged her impossibly closer. “And I don’t know about you, but I don’t stay up all night often, and I’m plain worn out.”

“Are you saying you want to go to sleep?” Nicola asked.

“Yeah, in a minute.” Abagail kissed her. This time, she deepened it. She slid her tongue along Nicola’s lips until Nicola parted them to admit her.

Abagail hummed, moving a hand down Nicola’s chest to the strap still attached. It took some maneuvering, but Abagail managed to wiggle her fingers under the straps and plant her fingers against Nicola’s pussy.

“I think I owe you something first.”

“You don’t owe me anything—ever.” Nicola kissed her again. “But I’m not sure I’ll ever say no to another orgasm.”

Abagail chuckled and inserted two fingers inside Nicola before removing her fingers and finding her clit. “How hard?’

“Hard and fast. Like you, I’m exhausted after last night.”

“Good.” Abagail didn’t wait. She moved her fingers across Nicola’s clit, much like Nicola had done to her only minutes before.

They kissed. Nicola closed her eyes, concentrating on the pleasure that Abagail was teasing out of her, of the way that she couldn’t quite move back like she wanted to because they were still connected by the strap, of the fact that Abagail had this hold on her that she never wanted to shake. She liked it.

Being possessed by someone who was so strong and confident, who knew how to do things that Nicola would never even dream of. Nicola wrapped her arm around Abagail’s back, tugging their bodies even closer. She held onto Abagail tightly, letting Abagail fuck her into oblivion and then some. She wanted to fall asleep in Abagail’s arms, wake up when it was warm and her brain was fogging from the lack of caffeine, and start to plan for her future.

A plan that she never thought she’d be able to make.

But because of Abagail, it was possible.

Nicola gasped, the moan escaping her lips unexpectedly. She pressed her forehead into Abagail’s shoulder and closed her eyes, feeling each swipe of Abagail’s fingers against her, each breath Abagail took as her chest moved, as the air blew across her cheeks. Nicola hyper-focused on all of it and pushed everything else from her mind.

“I’m so close,” Nicola whispered. “I’m all yours.”

Abagail kissed her cheek and then her lips, stealing Nicola’s breath. Nicola came. It wasn’t an explosion of an orgasm, but it was a slow slide from buildup to gentle pleasure. She closed her eyes and held onto Abagail long and hard, needing the closeness more than the touches and the sensations. She kissed Abagail, again and again, her heart soaring with happiness and joy.

They weren’t very different from each other, were they?

And maybe, just maybe, Nicola might get the happy ending she’d always wanted. Even if it didn’t look like she’d once thought it would.

Pulling the toy out of Abagail, Nicola slipped it off and shoved it onto the nightstand. She’d deal with it later. Right now, she wanted Abagail in her arms, and she wanted sleep to blanket both of them. Curling up behind Abagail, Nicola wrapped their bodies together and sighed contentedly against Abagail.

“I love you,” she whispered, not even worrying or caring if Abagail didn’t respond in kind. She just wanted Abagail to know that she was loved, that the feeling and the emotion was there for Nicola.

Maybe that could be enough.

Because Nicola knew one thing for sure—this was who she wanted.

Abagail.

No one else.

thirty-eight

Warren stepped into the library, and Abagail narrowed her eyes at him. He wasn’t supposed to be here. She’d been expecting Ivy, not him. Setting her book down, Abagail crossed her legs and stared at him expectantly. This wasn’t the time to make things easy for the promised, entitled child. He needed to work for whatever he was here for.

Abagail put on the most stoic face that she could possibly muster, and she thanked every breathing second that Nicola wasn’t at the house. Seeing a conflict between Warren and Nicola again would surely throw Abagail over the edge and she’d completely blacklist Warren from her life.

“Aunt Abagail.” Warren nodded at her, standing there with his hands crossed in front of his body, looking like a kid who’d just been scolded.

Was that what he was expecting now that he was there?

“I wasn’t expecting you,” Abagail said, keeping her tone as cool and despondent as possible.

“I know. I just… you said to tell you how the interview went.”

Abagail narrowed her gaze. That was weeks ago at this point, maybe even a full month had passed. She dashed her tongue across her lips as she waited in silence, needing to know exactly what he was there to say to her. Because he was clearly here for something—a phone call would have sufficed otherwise. Or hell, this was Warren, it’d be a text or an email that his mother sent.

“It didn’t go well. They didn’t like that I had no experience.”

“Right.” Abagail nodded, already knowing that was likely the outcome of any interview that Warren was going to go on. Mid-twenties and he’d never held a job yet—hell, she wouldn’t hire him either. Even his sex and skin color wouldn’t land him that privilege. “And do you have another interview lined up?”

“Chaya’s father said he’d get me a job.”

Using connections? That was a step up for Warren. But also, Chaya? Were the two of them on talking terms.

“Which brings me to why I’m here.”

“Oh, I thought that was to tell me about the interview that didn’t result in a job.” Abagail picked up her book again and pretended to read it. She really wanted to feign disinterest. Warren had never done anything to deserve the accolades that he received from the family other than being born and being born male—neither of which he had any control over.

“No, I uh… I was hoping to get Nana’s ring.”

Abagail snapped her head up and the book closed simultaneously. “The ring?”

“Y-yeah,” he stuttered. “Chaya and I worked through our issues, and the engagement is back on.”

Pursing her lips, Abagail clenched her jaw and waited him out. She wanted to pry so much, and she had so many questions that she wanted answered just for her own damn curiosity, but she wasn’t going to ask them either.

“W-we set a date for June of next year.”

“A June wedding?” Abagail raised an eyebrow at him. How classic. She forced herself not to roll her eyes at that thought. “And who do you think is paying for the wedding?”

“Chaya’s father said he’d split some of it.”

“But you for the rest?” Abagail asked, dropping her gaze over him. “Better get that job quickly. I won’t be helping fund that adventure.”

“I know. I just…” He shuffled his foot slightly. “I just wanted the ring.”

“It’s not yours.” Abagail opened her book again, skimming the words on the page. “And I won’t be giving it to you.”

“It’s the family ring. It needs to stay in the family.” Warren’s voice took on the whining tone that Abagail absolutely despised. It was back to when he was a kid and not getting his way. Maturity took a long time to learn, and Warren was far behind the learning curve.

“And it is… in the family.” Abagail flicked her gaze to him. “Buy your own ring for Chaya. I’m not giving you a second chance with this one.”

“Ms. Kerr,” Ivy said, her voice reaching Abagail’s ears.

“Ah, yes.” Abagail looked directly at Warren. “Let me know when the wedding is. I’ll make sure to show up, and congratulations.” That word grated at her. “I’m sure you two will be happy together.”

Abagail stood up and ushered Warren out of her library before bringing Ivy in. She’d never invited Ivy over to her house, but she didn’t want to have this conversation at the office during formal working hours. This was going to be a conversation that would take time for them to explore possibilities and for Ivy to get a handle on what exactly Abagail was asking.

She looked over Ivy’s shoulder to make sure that Warren was leaving, but he was still standing there.

“It’s mine, Aunt Abagail.”

“No, it’s not.” Abagail stepped between him and Ivy. “I’m sorry, just give me a second.”

“Sure,” Ivy answered, but she didn’t walk away like Abagail would expect her to.

“The ring isn’t yours, Warren. I don’t know how many times I can tell you that. It belongs to the family, and I’m the executor of the family’s estate. I’m in charge of where it goes and doesn’t go, and I don’t think you know how to take care of it or anything yet. Get yourself straight and your life right, and then we’ll talk again.” Abagail kept her hands at her sides, making sure that Warren understood that she wasn’t going to give in.

“Aunt Abagail!”

“No. And I’m done talking about this.” Abagail turned on her toes and walked back into the library. She waited for Ivy to settle into the chair next to the one that she’d occupied and then waited to make sure that Warren was well and truly gone. “Did you want something to drink? Tea?”

“Uh. No?” Ivy sounded and looked nervous.

“I’m not firing you.” Abagail’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Trust me, I wouldn’t bring you to my house to fire you.”

“I didn’t think…” Ivy trailed off, her brow furrowing. “Does this have to do with Nathalie and the lawsuit?”

“What?” Abagail shook her head. “No. I gave the evidence to the lawyer.”

“Right. I just thought since everything is so muddled now.”

“Yes, well, you four didn’t help your case by all ending up in bed together, now did you?” Abagail waved down her house manager and asked for hot tea to be made and brought to them. “You could have easily waited until after your divorce and the civil suit Nathalie brought against Penny before entering into a relationship, now couldn’t you?”

“Uh… sure.” Ivy crossed her legs, but she didn’t add more to the conversation on that front.

“I wanted to talk to you about the future of Kerr HR.” Abagail moved her palms across her thighs. She’d never had this conversation with anyone before, but she was ready for it. The last few weeks had been a high point in her life, and she was ready to make more time for what future things needed to come.

“Are you closing down?”

“What? No.” Abagail scrunched her nose and shook her head. “But I do want to start training you to become the future of the business, perhaps eventually buy it out from me when the time is right.”

“When the time is right…?” Ivy repeated slowly. She sighed, her skirt pulling up higher on her knee, and Abagail couldn’t help herself from trailing her gaze over Ivy’s leg before focusing back on her eyes.

“Yes. In the next few years, I’d think. I’d like some more free time in my life.”

“Free time.” Ivy seemed unconvinced by that.

“I have plans.” Abagail wasn’t going to give Ivy any more than that. She wasn’t someone who shared often, and she certainly wasn’t going to share personal things with an employee. “You used to run your own HR business.”

“Sort of,” Ivy said with a frown. “It was nestled in Nathalie and Lachlan’s private practice, so it wasn’t a separate entity.”

“Hence the training.” Abagail wiggled her toes in her heels. “I think it’d be a good arrangement for both of us.”

“I don’t know about that.” Ivy leaned back into her chair nervously as the tea was brought in and settled between them.

Abagail immediately picked up a cup for herself and made her tea the way she liked it. She assumed Ivy would do the same if she really wanted it. “I don’t want to give up the company to someone who’s going to ruin it.”

“That’s lofty confidence coming from someone who can’t stand me.”

Abagail paused, the cup at her lips. “Who said I couldn’t stand you?”

“Uh… you did?”

“When?” Abagail sipped her tea, reveling in the flavor. She loved this blend.

“Why am I really here?” Ivy asked.

Abagail paused, setting the cup onto the saucer on the small table. “I’m looking at how I can retire, Ivy. I’m getting older, and I don’t want to be working until I die.”

“You don’t? I just assumed that you loved the business.”

“I do.” Abagail looked Ivy over again, finally finding that balance she’d been seeking before. “I’d only leave it in someone’s hands that would have a passion for the company, someone who had the ability to keep it going.”

“Why not just close down?”

“I don’t want to.” Abagail shrugged her shoulder slightly. She wasn’t sure when she’d want to officially retire, but she would probably want to keep it going as long as possible to keep her brain in the game. “I’m not sure when exactly I’ll be ready to give it up, Ivy. But I’d like to do that on my own time.”

“I understand.” Ivy ran her fingers through her long caramel-brown locks. “Is this about Warren?”

“In some ways.” Abagail flicked her gaze to where Warren had been standing. “In other ways, it’s not about him at all.”

“I can try to find him a job.”

“No.” Abagail picked up her tea again, resolute in this decision. “He needs to work for a job, and he needs to learn how to work. I don’t want him to terrorize you.”

“Hey, I’ve grown a spine.”

“A small one.” Abagail’s lips quirked up slightly. She had loved seeing Ivy come into her own, or perhaps, get back to who she used to be. It was the smallest compliment that she’d give to Ivy. The bigger one was the fact they were even having this conversation. Despite Ivy’s rough start at Kerr HR, she was a hard worker, and brilliant. She’d been the right choice for the company.

“Why me? You’ve never seemed particularly fond of me.”

Abagail hummed. “I recognize your tenacity, appreciate your hard work. You’ve had an uphill battle, but I don’t think for a second it was a choice of your own making or because you added to it daily.”

“Well, thank you.” Ivy’s cheeks tinged with a blush.

“Think about it, Ivy. Taking over Kerr HR won’t be an easy job, and there’s plenty of time for you to make that choice and remake that choice. I want to know that this will work in both our best interests.”

“So when do you want an answer?” Ivy looked at Abagail directly.

“When you’re ready.” Abagail nodded firmly. She’d already started to form a plan for the transition, one that would take quite a bit of time, but would be good for both of them in the long run, Abagail was sure of that.

“All right.” Ivy’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Do you know anyone, since you seem to have these odd connections, that might be interested in a front receptionist position?”

Abagail smiled. She’d hoped that would come up today, but she wasn’t sure that she wanted to be the one to bring it up. “I have someone you can interview. Checkered work history, but similar to your situation. She’s a hard worker.” Abagail flicked her gaze up to meet Ivy’s. “I’ll send her to Nathalie and Lachlan, and they can decide on their own if she’s worth the trouble.”

“Worth the trouble?” Ivy’s lips quirked slightly. “That sounds like she has a story.”

“Oh she does. It might be good for her to work in a medical office in the long run anyway. She needs to learn to navigate the medical system adeptly.”

“She does?” Ivy furrowed her brow.

“Yes, absolutely. It’s a skill she’ll need to develop quickly.” Abagail finished her tea and set it down. “Let me know what you think of my proposal when you’re ready to decide. There’s no rush. I plan to be around for a while longer.”

Abagail stood up, indicating the conversation was over. She was ready for whatever was going to come next. At least, she was preparing for it.

thirty-nine

“Six months.”

“What?” Nicola looked up at Lachlan, the beautiful doctor who always had a smile on her face. Thank goodness it wasn’t Nathalie, because Nathalie always stressed Nicola out. Wherever Nathalie went, there was usually someone who was left high strung. Now, Nicola could handle it, but she was already stressed out over everything happening that week.

“You’ve worked here six months,” Lachlan said with a bit more explanation this time. “Did you think you’d make it that long?”

“Hell no.” Nicola laughed lightly, cringed at her language, and then shook her head and laughed again. “Sorry about that.”

“Patients are gone, Nicola. I’m not worried about it.” Lachlan leaned over the front counter and smiled at her again. “But six months is a pretty good run for you, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah, I would.” Nicola leaned back in the rolling chair that had become her best friend in the last few months. It had taken her a while to get into the work, but since she was so quick at memorizing things and so good with customer service, it had seemed like a natural fit. Nicola crossed her arms. “Are you going to fire me?”

She asked the question, but she was pretty sure she knew the answer too. Which was also an odd feeling. Normally when she asked that, she knew she was going to be fired almost immediately. But those old doubts still managed to creep into her chest and make their way into her heart.

“Not unless you’re planning on walking out sometime soon.” Lachlan pushed a strand of dark hair behind her ear. “And are you?”

“No, ma’am.” Nicola grinned again. “I actually like this job. I wasn’t sure I would at first.”

“Well, Abagail seems to have a way with fitting people in where they need to go.”

“That she does,” Nicola agreed, her cheeks blushing. She’d spent so much time with Abagail in the last six months, and she’d gotten to know her better. In fact, Nicola was fairly certain the only person who knew Abagail better was Elia.

“I don’t really want to hear that name again for a while.” Nathalie grimaced as she stepped behind Nicola and gave Lachlan a hard stare. “Not that her work wasn’t useful for a while there, but I’d really rather not have to deal with her again.”

“I don’t think we will.” Lachlan straightened her back, flicking her gaze from Nicola to Nathalie. “I was congratulating Nicola on making it six months with us.”

“Has it been that long already?” Nathalie said.

“That’s her way of complimenting, remember.” Lachlan stared directly at Nicola. “She’s a work in progress.”

“We all are,” Nicola answered with a quick sigh. While she loved working for these two women, they were a force to be reckoned with on a good day. She felt so small and inconsequential next to them, not that they made her feel that way on purpose. It was entirely a complex that she had and couldn’t get rid of. They were well educated, rich, worked their asses off—and they had their shit together.

Then again, in the last six months, Nicola had also worked her ass off to get her life back in line. She had actually started going to a community college and getting her gen-eds so that maybe she could figure out what she wanted to do in life. At one point, before the accident, she’d wanted to go into math and teaching.

But that was before.

And she hated to admit it, but her life was defined as before accident and after accident. Abagail assured her that was normal—so did Lachlan for that matter—but it still grated on her nerves that she couldn’t seem to separate herself from that one big event in her life. On her own worst days, she just wanted to be normal. Then again, normal didn’t sound all that fun either. And she was certainly having fun with her life.

“I needed to talk to you about some scheduling changes.” Nathalie’s face morphed into a serious work one. Nicola at least recognized that look, and she knew she wouldn’t bear the brunt of anything wrong. “We’re taking a family trip.”

“Family trip?” Nicola raised an eyebrow at Nathalie. “All right, when?”

“The end of December, during the school break.” Nathalie flicked her gaze toward Lachlan. “We’re going to close down for two weeks during that time. It’ll be paid time off for you and the rest of the staff, but after the year we’ve had, we thought a trip would be good for the kids.”

Lachlan grinned in Nathalie’s direction. “We haven’t told them yet where we’re going.”

“Where are you going?” Nicola asked, pen between her fingers so she knew what days she’d need to start rescheduling patients for.

“California,” Lachlan answered.

“To a resort,” Nathalie supplied, her gaze deadlocked on Lachlan’s.

Lachlan reached out, her fingers covering Nathalie’s in a rare show of affection. Nicola had always been in awe about their relationship and how much they managed to keep it outside of the office. Then again, a lot of patients would probably have an issue with it, and with Lachlan’s ex-husband also working there, it would add to the tension.

But this was just the three of them. And Abagail had filled Nicola in on everything that she could of their relationship and who they were when she’d told Nicola to take the job six months ago. Once again, listening to Abagail had proven to be the best decision for her.

“When will you be gone?” Nicola asked, going back to the entire point of this conversation.

Nathalie rattled off the dates, and Nicola wrote them down.

“I’ll start rescheduling next week when I come in.” Nicola didn’t want to start that task now. She needed to leave the office and end her shift for the day. She had too many things on her to-do list.

“Sounds like a plan,” Lachlan said, her warm tone exactly what Nicola had come to expect. She was so opposite Nathalie sometimes that they made the perfect pair together. “You have big plans for the weekend, right?”

“Yeah.” Nicola couldn’t stop the grin from reaching her lips. “We’re moving my sister home.”

That word still sent a thrill through Nicola. She and Abagail had talked it over so many times in the last six months, and it seemed like the best option. Alanna living at home would extend her life, and they’d still make sure that she got all of the care and therapies that she needed in order to continue to improve her life. But she was ready to graduate from the facility and start to be a bit more independent.

Still, that sent a swirl of nerves through Nicola. Alanna had barely been home since the accident, and even with the extra help and support that they’d have now that Alanna hadn’t had before, it still was wreaking havoc on Nicola’s state of mind.

“That’ll be an adjustment,” Lachlan said, glancing at Nathalie and shaking her head slightly before focusing all that warm attention onto Nicola.

“You’re telling me.” Nicola nervously glanced toward the door. “Abagail’s picking me up.”

“To help you move?” Nathalie’s voice boomed. “I never pegged her for manual labor.”

Nicola clenched her jaw tightly, trying hard to keep from giggling at what Nathalie had just said. Sometimes it really wasn’t worth the time and attention to bring up her dirty mind to anyone else. “I think she hired some help, but Alanna doesn’t have that much to move anyway. Most of our stuff has been in storage since we were in school.”

“Oh.” Lachlan frowned, as if the realization of what Nicola wasn’t saying was hitting her. Nathalie, however, still seemed oblivious to that.

“Well, this certainly does bring back memories,” Abagail said, stepping into the office and dragging her gaze from Nicola to the other two. “Though I can’t say I miss being here so frequently. The drama in this building is over the top.”

“Nice to see you too, Abagail,” Nathalie fired back, closing up immediately. Her shoulders tensed, and Lachlan slid to stand next to Nathalie and put a hand on her arm. “I didn’t think hiring Nicola would put you in my presence more often.”

Abagail let out a single chuckle. “I see not much has changed in your demeanor, Doctor. Ever take those classes I recommended to better your bedside manner?”

“No,” Nathalie said firmly. “No, I didn’t.”

“Not surprising.” Abagail focused on Nicola. “Are you done for the day?”

“Almost,” Nicola said, a nervous lilt in her voice. “Just need a few more minutes to close out some of these files and shut everything down.”

Nicola put her head down to get that done while Lachlan, Nathalie, and Abagail all stared each other down. She never wanted to be in the room with these three again if she could avoid it. Something about these three powerful women going head-to-head made her so nervous and jittery.

“How’s the baby?” Abagail asked.

“Dawn is great, thank you.” Nathalie smiled, her voice immediately softening.

Oh, Abagail was magic with that. She really did understand how to get to just about everyone, didn’t she? Nicola wished she had half that talent. Well, she did have about half of it, but she’d like the rest, thank you. It’d help so much in the long haul of life, wouldn’t it?

“Growing yet?”

“Yes, she is. It took a while for her to start to catch up once she was out of the NICU, but she’s started holding her head up. Greer sent me a picture of her doing that today.” Nathalie looked deliriously happy. It was such a nice change from her normal jadedness.

“How old is she now?” Abagail asked.

“Five months. Three adjusted.”

Abagail nodded as if that made sense to her. Nicola wondered if it actually did. It hadn’t to Nicola at first. She’d finally gotten the courage to ask Lachlan what that meant one day, and she’d kindly explained it.

“All done,” Nicola said, logging out of the computer and shutting it off. She stood up, making her way around the desk to where she stashed her jacket and her purse in the small break area that they had. She’d never loved having normal working hours until she actually had them. But being able to leave when the rest of the world seemed to be done with work for the day was a glorious revelation.

When she got back to the main room, the three of them were talking amicably. She stepped next to Abagail and caught her attention. “All set.”

“Good.”

Nicola went to loop her arm with Abagail’s and then stopped. That was something she’d do and want, but not necessarily what Abagail would do and want. Abagail must have seen her hesitate, because she nodded at Nicola and then held her hand out in front of her, beckoning Nicola to lead the way. Instead of putting her arm in Nicola’s, Abagail pressed a hand to the small of Nicola’s back as they walked toward the door.

As soon as they were outside, Nicola sank into Abagail’s side. This whole weekend was making her nervous, and Abagail had unfortunately borne the brunt of her anxiety in the last few weeks. She was determined to make this as easy a transition for Alanna as possible.

“The movers have most of her things packed up already,” Abagail said as she opened the car door for Nicola to get into the back seat first.

She slid in, nodding at Cal. He’d taken her to work that morning so they wouldn’t have to take more than one vehicle when they picked Alanna up. And this new vehicle, well, Abagail had it modified with all the bells and whistles that Alanna might need. The minivan wasn’t Nicola’s first choice, but it was the easiest to get Alanna’s wheelchair in and out of.

“She’s been texting me all day,” Nicola replied nervously. “I think she’s the most excited of all of us.”

“I bet.” Abagail nodded toward Cal to indicate she was ready for him to drive.

Nicola had asked her at one point why she didn’t drive, and Abagail had promptly corrected her that she did drive, just not in town. Nicola had yet to see that though. Any time Abagail had gone out to Windermere to visit with Elia, Nicola had to stay behind for work things or to be with her sister and make all these transitional arrangements.

Next time, though, she swore she’d go out with Abagail and meet up with Elia again. Their dynamic was fascinating to witness. Nicola ran her fingers nervously through her hair.

“This is the right decision, right?”

“Yes.” Abagail affirmed her each time Nicola asked this question, but it was still a major step. They had three days to figure it out over the long weekend, but that wasn’t going to be long enough. Nicola was preparing herself for months of adjustment. She and Alanna had never gotten along super well when they’d shared a room as teenagers, so she couldn’t imagine this would go that much better. Even though their relationship now was entirely different.

“Stop worrying,” Abagail whispered, pressing her palm to Nicola’s bouncing knee. “It’ll be fine.”

“I know.” Nicola winced. “I just can’t help but worry.”

Abagail laughed. “I’ll distract you tonight.”

“No, not tonight. I can’t—with Alanna in the house?”

“She’s living on a completely separate floor than where our rooms are.” Abagail gave Nicola a hard stare.

“I know, but she’ll be there.”

“If you think your adult sister doesn’t think about sex on at least one occasion or another, then I think you have another thing coming.”

Nicola squeaked. “Oh God, I don’t want to think about that.”

“Don’t think about the details.” Abagail leaned in and kissed Nicola’s cheek. “At least not with her. Feel free to think about them with me.” Abagail turned Nicola’s face so their lips brushed. “I promise you that everything will be fine.”

“Yeah. It’ll be great.” Nicola kissed her again. “All right. We can do this.”

“You can.” Abagail made that correction without even thinking about it.

Nicola had noted that too throughout the last few months. It was definitely something that put a fair amount of distance between them. But at the same time, Abagail was here and walking this road with her, each and every step of the way. She wasn’t checking out, and Nicola had to remind herself of that when she started to doubt Abagail’s interest in her.

Resting her head on Abagail’s shoulder, Nicola closed her eyes and focused.

She could do this.

Everything would be better in the end.

She just had to get through this rough time of transition and then she’d find her balance again. And Abagail would be the perfect calm to the storm that Nicola was about to be. It’d really be good for everyone to have that.

“I love you,” Nicola whispered, fully not expecting Abagail to say it back. So when she was met with silence, Nicola smiled to herself. “Yep, I fucking love you.”

forty

“How was the party?” Nicola asked as soon as Abagail stepped into the house.

Abagail pursed her lips, dropping her gaze down Nicola’s body and back up. She had wished Nicola had been with her, but she understood her reasons for avoiding that mess of a family. Abagail hadn’t really wanted to attend Estelle’s annual New Year’s party either, but the shame and obligation that she show up for at least a part of it ate away at her.

“Satisfactory. No major drama.” Abagail stood in the middle of the den, continuing to eye Nicola over. What would it have been like to stay home with her and Alanna and have a New Year’s with people she actually cared about instead of with family she felt obligated to? “How was your evening?”

“Oh, not bad. Alanna fell asleep around ten.” Nicola giggled. “So much for staying up for the ball to drop.”

Abagail nodded, pulling at the buttons on her jacket to shuck it. The dress she’d worn that night was a simple black dress that formed to her curves. She’d added silver and gold jewelry to it but kept it simple. “Warren and Chaya are in the middle of an argument, but at least he’s managed to keep a job for two months.”

Nicola hummed, her lips pressed into a thin line. Abagail supposed she wasn’t all that interested in hearing about Warren, but the argument had sparked thoughts that were continuing to run wild through Abagail’s brain. Ones she wasn’t able to turn off.

“They were arguing about a prenup and what it should include.”

“I suppose Warren came to his much wiser Aunt Abagail for advice on that front.”

Abagail nodded, taking off her jacket and throwing it over the chair. She ran her hand through her hair as she stepped closer to Nicola, half stalking her as she moved slowly. “They did, and I had very little advice.”

“You? I don’t believe that.” Nicola laughed lightly but nervously. But was she anxious about the way Abagail was moving toward her or the topic of conversation itself?

“I’ve never been married, Nic.” Abagail cupped her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. She stepped forward, pushing Nicola backward. “Why would I know anything about prenups?”

“Because you’re not stupid.” Nicola laughed and pressed her hands against Abagail’s hips, half-pulling her backward toward the stairs. “Are we going to your room tonight or mine?”

“Your choice.” Abagail smiled, loving that Nicola knew exactly what she was seeking. She moved in, pressing their lips together in a deeper, longer kiss. “But it got me thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” Nicola breathed heavily. She walked around Abagail so that she was behind her and started to pull at the zipper on Abagail’s dress, slowly moving it down. The chilly air in the house hit Abagail’s skin, but it was quickly warmed by Nicola’s hands.

“Marriage.”

Nicola tensed. Abagail didn’t even have to be looking at her to see that reaction. She could feel it. Abagail wanted to turn around and look at her, see every reaction in her face, but she was so scared by it too. They’d found a nice rhythm between them, but intuitively, Abagail knew that Nicola still wanted more.

“Do you still want to get married?” Abagail asked, tentatively.

Nicola dropped her hands from Abagail’s back. Abagail turned around, but Nicola wouldn’t look up at her, her face drawn and her shoulders tight.

“Nic…” Abagail trailed off, no clue what to say in order to entice this conversation to continue. She hadn’t even been sure why she brought it up. “Do you still want to get married someday?”

“I don’t think we need to talk about this.”

“Yes, we do.” Abagail reached for Nicola’s fingers and grasped them tightly. “We need to talk about it more than we do. I know this isn’t what you wanted when you started a relationship with someone, and so I need to make sure that you’re okay with it.”

“Relationship?” Nicola furrowed her brow in confusion. “We’re not in a relationship, Abs.”

“I think I tried to convince myself of that before, but I was lying to myself. This is a relationship.” Abagail worried her lower lip. It hadn’t hit her until Warren had been talking about the prenup and about making plans for the future stability of his partner. Abagail had done all of that for Nicola already. She hadn’t needed it reciprocated in the least, so that hadn’t been a concern, but she’d made sure to set up Nicola and Alanna so that they could live without financial struggle for years to come.

“If we’re in a relationship, then I’m fine with what we have. I don’t need anything more.” Nicola smiled at her, stepping closer so that their chests brushed. “I love you, that’s what matters to me.”

“But what if you could get married?” Abagail asked. She wasn’t sure why she was pressing the question so much, but she desperately wanted an answer.

“Abs, stop. Just stop.”

“No.” Abagail shook her head. “No, I don’t want to. Is that something you still want?”

“Yes,” Nicola whispered. “Yes, I still want that, but I’m willing to not do that if it means being with you.”

Abagail’s lips thinned into a line, and she looked down between them, at their joined hands, at the connection they so clearly already shared. She still had no desire to be married, to be confined in that way, legally bound to someone. But it didn’t seem so repulsive now as it once did.

Then again, maybe that’s just because the only time Abagail even thought about it, it was in relation to Nicola.

“But you said you won’t get married, so I don’t need that.”

Abagail nodded. She closed her eyes and pulled Nicola toward her, pressing their foreheads together. She breathed in Nicola’s scent and listened to Nicola’s breaths, the gentle rise and fall of them, the sounds around the house, the way the house felt, the way she felt.

“That wasn’t the question I was asking, and thank you for answering.” Abagail lifted up her chin and pressed their lips together in a quick kiss. “I appreciate your honesty.”

Nicola frowned. “But what does that mean?”

“Nothing,” Abagail answered, a smile in her voice. “Nothing. Not unless you want it to. It just had me thinking tonight, that’s all.”

“You spent all night thinking about marriage and me?”

“Well, not all night.” Abagail grinned broadly then, her eyes glittering with mischief. “I did also think about you tying me up and fucking me raw until the image and memory of the last few hours left my brain.”

Nicola gave a full-bodied laugh. “You really do have one thing on your mind most of the time, don’t you?”

“You bet your ass I do.” Abagail dragged Nicola in hard, their mouths locking together in a kiss that stole her breath. She ran her hands down Nicola’s back, against her ass, tugging her in even tighter as their tongues collided in a duel for possession and passion.

Breaking the kiss sharply, Abagail took a step away. She beckoned Nicola with just a look before turning on her toes and starting straight up the stairs. They’d limited sex in the main areas of the house since Alanna had come to stay there, and for this, Abagail absolutely wanted to be alone with Nicola.

The questions Warren had asked kept popping up in Abagail’s mind. The way he hadn’t known anything about the finances or the structure of the family funds and businesses and just exactly how the family had so much money. But he also wasn’t asking the questions to learn either. He’d simply assumed it would all still be there once he got married because of the confines Abagail had put on him months ago.

And the ones she still hadn’t quite lifted.

She ran her fingers through her hair, stepping into Nicola’s bedroom and pushing her dress off her shoulders. The fabric fell and pooled at her feet. She stepped out of it and reached behind her back to unhook the clasp of her bra. She threw a look over her shoulder, finding Nicola standing there, no longer clothed in her shirt, and a stunning set of nipple clamps hanging from each nipple, chained together.

“I see you were planning for tonight.”

“I told you I would,” Nicola said with a smirk. “Bend over.”

“Yes,” Abagail murmured, dragging her gaze from Nicola’s breasts to between her legs. Just what was she hiding under that mini skirt that she loved to wear any time they were going to play? Abagail’s mouth watered at just the thought.

Nicola ran just her fingertips over Abagail’s ass, tickling her until she reached under the elastic of her thong and snapped it against her hip. Abagail gasped, her pussy already tingling with anticipation. When the hell had that happened so fast?

In the last six months, Abagail hadn’t thought of anyone else. Not that she usually thought of specific people when she was in a fling with someone, but she did typically think about sex and how sex would be with someone else. But with Nicola, none of those thoughts had run through her brain. Every single encounter that she could dream up involved Nicola.

But Warren’s questions had sparked a small fear inside her, and it was one that Abagail needed to analyze before she made any decisions. And she didn’t want him to get his hands on her money, on everything that she’d worked so damn hard for that he would waste away in seconds.

The slap against her ass was sharp and bright. Abagail groaned, pressing her face into the bed and closing her eyes.

“Stop thinking about whatever’s distracting you, Abs. I’m here right now, and you should be focused on me.”

Abagail nodded. Nicola was right, of course. That was a part of why Abagail had come home so ready for this. She gripped the blanket, her fingers tightening in the fabric to keep her right where she wanted to be. Away from the family drama and right at Nicola’s hands and lips.

Nicola pressed that delicate mouth against Abagail’s ass, kissing right where she’d spanked. The contrast between the hard hit and the gentle kiss was Abagail’s undoing. She had to put everything she could into Nicola. She deserved it, and Abagail wanted to be the one who was going to make that happen for her.

Another slap.

“Abs, seriously, quit letting drama distract you.”

Except it wasn’t drama. It was resolution. Abagail lifted up on her elbows and looked over her shoulder. Nicola was completely naked now, save for the nipple clamps still attached to her breasts, and the strap. Abagail bit back her groan as she dropped her gaze down and then up Nicola’s body.

“Fuck me hard,” Abagail demanded. She wasn’t going to let anyone take this from her. She wanted Nicola, that much was clear. She just had to figure out exactly what she was going to do about it and when.

Nicola stepped closer, pushing her hand in between Abagail’s shoulder blades and pushing her down into the bed again. She spanked Abagail, and then she did it again and again. Her fingers were red hot coming in against Abagail’s skin. And each time they connected, Abagail groaned with anticipation and pleasure.

“Fuck me,” she said again.

“I love it when you beg.” Nicola dipped two fingers inside Abagail, and just that simple touch made Abagail’s knees go weak.

“I want you inside me,” Abagail whispered. Her entire body was a mess of anticipation. Sex with Nicola never did disappoint. And this was going to be no different than every other time they’d done this. “I want you.” She hoped Nicola could understand what she was saying without actually saying.

Nicola pressed against her ass, dragging her tongue down Abagail’s spine to the swell of her ass before she bit. Abagail cried out, a shock wave of pleasure rushing through her in an instant. Once that calmed slightly, she closed her eyes and kept her fingers tightly wrapped in the blanket. She wanted to touch herself so bad, to feel herself come, but she knew it’d be so much better if Nicola did it.

Nicola put one leg in between Abagail’s and parted her legs slightly. This was it. Abagail’s lips turned upward into a smile as the toy added pressure right between her legs. She breathed in as Nicola inserted it, as she slid her hand around to tease Abagail’s clit. The move was slow at first, but then Nicola picked up pace.

Abagail clenched her eyes shut tight, shuddering as each wave of pleasure built up in her one after the other. She was already so close to bursting, but she focused on anything other than the sensations. She wanted to make this last.

Snaking her hand underneath Abagail’s chest, Nicola grabbed onto her breast and squeezed. She found Abagail’s hardened nipple and pinched it. Abagail cried out loudly, burying her face in the blankets to curve her back up and give Nicola some more space.

“I have so many plans for you tonight,” Nicola whispered against Abagail’s back, clutching her breast tightly. “Are you ready for a good fucking?”

“Y-yes,” Abagail answered, trying to concentrate on everything that was happening to her.

“I’m going to tie you up and make you come so many times you forget my name.”

Abagail shivered, pushing her ass back into Nicola’s body. The press of the toy inside her sent sizzles of pleasure raging through her. She bit her lip and clenched her eyes at the sensations. Her brain spun. Nicola had planned every second of their interaction tonight. They were so good for each other, weren’t they?

Abagail would never find someone else like Nicola. She had no doubt of that.

Nicola picked up her pace, thrusting into Abagail from behind at a brutal pace. She slid her hand down and pressed it back between Abagail’s legs, toying with her clit and finding a matching rhythm, one that was going to take Abagail over the edge.

“Nic,” Abagail said, the name getting lost on her tongue. “Nic, so close.”

“Come for me, Abs. Let yourself go.”

Abagail cried out loudly, her voice echoing around the room as she tensed and pushed back against Nicola even more. Nicola stopped, holding onto Abagail’s hips, her fingers tight against her skin as she just held her. Abagail’s head spun. Breathing was hard but not impossible. Her ears rang with white noise. She stayed right where she was, letting everything move through her, take her, consume her, release her. And Nicola was there with her through it all.

Holding her.

Touching her.

Kissing her.

Loving her.

forty-one

Nicola couldn’t figure out why they were here. Abagail had insisted that they come to a fancy restaurant for dinner, which was so not Nicola’s style at all. But she’d dolled herself up and let Abagail escort her inside.

Everything had been wonderful, even the early spring snow that was falling outside. She smiled as she looked out the window at it. She loved Boston in the winter. Most people didn’t, but she did. When it was blanketed in the white snow that dampened the sound of the city and the people.

She hated when it got nasty and dirty and started to melt, which she knew this snow would do in a heartbeat. But at least she’d had her winter already. Her first Christmas with Alanna at home and her first New Year’s celebrating not only with her blood family but with her family of choice.

And she loved Abagail more now than ever.

Abagail had kept every single promise that she’d given Nicola, and she’d never hesitated on what she was feeling, or wanting any more. The changes were stark from where they’d first started, but they’d worked hard to get there.

And it had so been worth it.

Nicola ordered another glass of wine along with dessert, fully expecting to have a belly too full as Cal drove them home that night. But if she was going to be eating a fancy dinner, then she was going to take full advantage of it. It wasn’t like this happened often. She and Abagail typically led very different and independent lives.

They had dates, and they had play dates more often than actual dates. But that’s what Nicola had signed up for and agreed to. And she was loving her life. Every single second of it. It was the first time in her entire recollection that she could actually say that she was happy and settled.

And that was all because of Abagail.

“Alanna said she wanted to go to the beach sometime soon,” Nicola said, toying with the stem of the wine glass as it was set down in front of her.

“Then make it happen. She deserves to go if that’s what she wants.”

Nicola nodded slowly and hummed. That was what she loved about Abagail. Nothing was too far out of bounds with her. “I was thinking we could take her to the Cape.”

“We?” Abagail asked curiously.

“Yeah. It’d be a fun trip for a weekend or maybe a week. Don’t you think? When the weather gets a little warmer.”

Abagail’s lips quirked upward slightly. “Yeah, that sounds nice. We haven’t been to the Cape without interruptions before. It’d be nice to try that again.”

“Agreed,” Nicola answered, sipping her wine.

They fell into a comfortable silence, one that Nicola was sure would have originally irked her so much. But now she knew that Abagail thrived in these quiet moments. It was when she did her best thinking, and her best imaging of whatever was going to come next for them.

“Nicola?”

“Hmm?” Nicola looked over to find Abagail leaning back in her chair, the low V-neck dress sliding just enough to the side that Nicola could make out the swell of Abagail’s breast. Oh, she had worn that dress on purpose. Nicola was damn sure she was right on that one. Abagail wanted to seduce her all evening before they made their way back home and didn’t emerge from one of their bedrooms until daylight again.

Nicola was going to love every second of it.

“Do you remember the first safe word that you gave me?”

“Yes.” Nicola hesitated. She hated that night when Abagail had used it. It hadn’t been right between them then. They’d worked on their shit and were finally in a good place—a great place—but that didn’t mean that Nicola wanted to remember that night.

“Marry me.” Abagail eyed her seriously.

Nicola shook her head. “I was being an ass back then.”

“You were,” Abagail agreed. “But so was I.”

“I didn’t want you to say it,” Nicola whispered.

“Say what?” Abagail asked.

“You know what.” Nicola’s cheeks burned. Were they really having this conversation again? She’d thought it was enough after the New Year’s party, when Abagail had come home in such an odd mood. But adding this into it? “Don’t you dare say it.”

“Marry me.”

“I told you not to say it,” Nicola hissed.

“No, Nic.” Abagail smiled.

She fumbled around in her purse before presenting a ring box. The ring box that Nicola had returned to her nearly a year ago when Warren couldn’t be man enough to meet her. Nicola just stared at it, so unsure of what to say or do or where to even look. What the hell was happening?

“Marry me,” Abagail repeated, her voice dropping at the end of the word.

“But you don’t love me.” Nicola flicked her gaze to meet Abagail’s eyes. “And you don’t want to get married.”

“I’ve changed my mind.” Abagail’s lips twitched. “And you get to reap the benefits.”

“Abs.” Nicola laughed with a shake of her head. “You aren’t someone who just changes her mind—ever.”

“You’re right.” Abagail reached for the glass of wine, and she took a long sip from it. “I don’t change my mind.”

“You don’t want to get married.” Nicola kept her hands in her lap, not daring to reach up and actually touch the ring box. If she opened it and if she looked inside, her heart was going to shatter in new and unexpected ways. She wasn’t sure that she’d live through that.

“Nicola, what did I just say?” Abagail reached across the table and took Nicola’s hand in her own.

This was so normal. It was so out of the usual for the two of them. Nicola always tried to keep that last wall up, the one that wouldn’t get her hurt in this way again. She couldn’t have the dream of marrying someone be shuttered at the altar again—not that she and Warren had made it that far. She pursed her lips and shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes.

“No.”

“No?” Abagail repeated, surprise in her voice. “No, you won’t marry me?”

“No,” Nicola repeated.

“I’m confused now.” Abagail stole her hand away, pressing her napkin down in her lap. Her cheeks were drawn, and her face tight.

Had Nicola just hurt her by her answer? She couldn’t have, could she? “I don’t understand,” Nicola tried again. “What are we doing?”

“Marry me, Nic.” Abagail looked at her directly and surely. “I want to marry you.”

“But why?” Nicola closed her mouth then, determined to listen only for the answer and nothing else. She wanted Abagail’s honesty now, and she was sure that she’d get it. At least to the extent that Abagail understood it herself.

“So many reasons.” Abagail’s lips quirked upward.

Nicola waited. And Abagail didn’t continue. She swallowed the lump in her throat and reached for her wine glass and sipped it while staring Abagail down. Maybe that would get some answers coming her direction. But still, Abagail was silent.

“All right, tell me why I should want to marry you,” Nicola finally said, giving her tone an edge so that Abagail would understand just how frustrated she was right now.

“Because you love me.”

Nicola glared. That hadn’t been the reason she was looking for. She already knew that, and it still wasn’t a good reason for the two of them to get married. Then she realized exactly what she’d asked and where she’d gone wrong. Setting her wine glass down heavily, Nicola turned the tables on Abagail.

“Why do you want to marry me?”

“Ah, now there’s the question.” Abagail snagged Nicola’s hand again. “I want to marry you because I want you to have everything you deserve, and I think I can provide that.”

“I have what I deserve,” Nicola answered, furrowing her brow. She was even more confused now.

“But when I die, there’s nothing stopping Warren from coming in and taking it all away. I don’t want him to be able to do that.”

“Oh, so this is about Warren.” Nicola’s stomach plummeted. “It’s about still wanting revenge on him.”

“To be fair, Nic, this started with revenge.”

“And turned into something else entirely.”

“It did,” Abagail agreed. “I don’t want Warren to have the ability to hurt you again. It’s less about wanting him to suffer and far more about not wanting you and Alanna to suffer. If we get married, then you’ll be in charge of everything after I die—at least everything that’s solely mine and not the family’s.”

“You can’t write up a will that makes it all mine when you die?” The last thing Nicola wanted to think about was Abagail dying. She wasn’t an idiot. There were twenty-five years between them, but it still wasn’t something that she really wanted to think about and put words to. But Abagail was practical about absolutely everything, so it would make sense that she’d thought this through many times over.

“Yeah, I can. But you want to be married. And it’s an easier, simpler way to do this.” Abagail canted her head to the side. “So marry me.”

Nicola shook her head in disbelief. “I’m still not sure about this. It feels like we’re doing this for the wrong reasons.”

“Isn’t that my line?” Abagail’s lips quirked upward. She reached for the ring box and pried it open.

Nicola hadn’t seen the ring since the day she gave it to Abagail nearly a year ago, since the last time it had been in her possession. She hadn’t even known where Abagail had put it for all this time, and she’d stupidly assumed that somewhere along the way, Abagail had given it to Warren.

But here it was.

The ring that used to sit on her finger, twinkled in the light. The one that had felt so heavy when she’d first put it on after Warren had gotten down on one knee. Would it feel the same this time? Or would this be an entirely different experience?

“Marry me, Nic,” Abagail said again, pulling the ring from the box and holding it out for Nicola to either take or not take. “I want this.”

“Are you sure?” Nicola asked, flicking her gaze from the ring up to Abagail’s eyes. “Because before you didn’t.”

“I didn’t then. But I do now.” Abagail looked completely relaxed.

She’d thought about this, hadn’t she? She’d spent months thinking about this and debating it and analyzing it. Abagail was someone who did that silently all on her own and then she’d plop down the resolution she’d come up with and no explanation to accompany it.

But Nicola had gotten the explanation this time.

“You’re sure about this?” Nicola whispered again, needing that reassurance.

“Yes, Nic. I’m more sure than ever. I want this. I want to take care of you and make sure that you have the world at your fingertips. And I want you to feel like you belong, that you have the family you’ve always wanted, the home you deserve.”

Nicola melted. She bypassed the ring and stood up, half coming around the table and half leaning over it. She grabbed Abagail by the cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss. She nearly fell into Abagail, and thank God Abagail was quick enough to catch her so that Nicola fell into her lap. She laughed loudly, gleefully looking into Abagail’s eyes.

“We’re getting married.”

“We are,” Abagail answered.

“I can’t believe it.”

“You better.” Abagail sucked in a slow breath. “Because it’s happening.”

Nicola moved in and kissed her again. This time, she deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue along Abagail’s lips until she parted them and allowed Nicola in. She stayed there, kissing and humming, and living into her moment of true happiness. She’d all but given up on this dream, working on being satisfied with everything that she had because, fuck, what she had was so good. She never wanted to lose Abagail—ever.

“I love you,” Nicola whispered again. “Thank you.”

Abagail hummed and brushed her fingers through Nicola’s hair before curling it behind Nicola’s ear. “Put the ring on. It’s always been yours.”

Nicola looked over her shoulder at it.

“I thought you’d want it as a way to say you were claimed by me.”

“Oh yes, I do.” Nicola snagged the ring off the table where Abagail had dropped it and slid it onto her finger. She’d been right before. This time it felt perfect on her hand—not too heavy and not attached to invisible strings that she had no idea were there. Abagail wouldn’t ask for those things, she’d proven that time and time again. Abagail just wanted what was best for her.

“I couldn’t give it to him again,” Abagail murmured. “I wanted you to have it.”

“Thank you,” Nicola said again. She couldn’t wait to tell Alanna.

She couldn’t believe this was actually her life.

about the author

Adrian J. Smith has been publishing since 2013 but has been writing nearly her entire life. With a focus on women loving women fiction, AJ jumps genres from action-packed police procedurals to the seedier life of vampires and witches to sweet romances with an age gap twist. She loves writing and reading about women in the midst of the ordinariness of life.

AJ currently lives in Cheyenne, WY, although she moves often and has lived all over the United States. She loves to travel to different countries and places. She currently plays the roles of author, wife, and mother to two rambunctious youngsters, occasional handy-woman. Check out her website for signed paperback editions!

adrianjsmithbooks.com

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nanny in the middle

Stuck in the middle of three head-strong women, will Greer come out unscathed?

Greer Lockheart is a nanny to her core. When she takes on a new job of working for three families at once, she’s not sure she can see her way through the chaos. As the days tick by and she falls more in love with each kid in her care, she can’t help but also fall more in lust with their mothers. But these women are complicated. And Greer keeps running face first into their pasts, especially Ivy’s ex. Who seems bent on taking the family down, beginning with the weakest link, Greer.

Nathalie Coeur, Lachlan Norris, and Ivy Villegas have been friends for a long time. Working together is second nature to them, but that doesn’t mean their life is without problems. With Ivy’s soon-to-be ex-wife making threats and breathing down their necks, they close ranks to fight for justice, just hoping they’ll come out unscathed on the other side.

They protect their kids first and each other second. But what happens when their rank breaks because they can’t keep their hands off the nanny?

Will their family falter?

Or will they have one, or two, more to add to their numbers?

Paving the way in a polyamorous relationship isn’t easy, but with these four, they might have found the key to lasting love and support.