COME FLY WITH ME

FELICITY SNOW

Copyright © 2023 by Felicity Snow

All rights reserved.

Cover design by https://outcastmaven.com

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Epilogue

Thank You

About the Author

More books by Felicity Snow

"Have enough courage to trust love one more time, and always one more time."

-Maya Angelou

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

To my amazing beta readers, Hawthorne Gray, Donatella Coluzzi, Amanda Martin, and Karla A.C., and to my amazing street team for all your help and support in spreading the word about Wesley and Cooper’s story. I couldn’t have done this without you.

Last but not least, a special thank you as always to my amazing editor Jen Sharon.

CHAPTER 1

WESLEY

“Well, that was fun.” My best friend kicks off her shoes and collapses onto one of the queen beds in our hotel room, and I follow, lying next to her. I let out a breath and run my hand over my face.

“Not exactly the word I would use.” I loosen my tie and unbutton the top button of my dress shirt so I can finally breathe again. I slide the tie all the way off and toss it on the floor, letting my arm hang off the side of the bed.

Riley rolls to her side and props herself up on an elbow. “Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad.” She pokes me in the ribs. Her brown hair falls over her shoulder in the ponytail she’s done it up in. She’s leaning far enough forward that I get a pretty good view of her cleavage. She’s dressed in black dress pants and a white v-neck top that isn’t leaving much to the imagination at the moment. It’s a nice view but it’s not doing much for me since I’m not into girls.

“I hate weddings,” I mumble, staring back up at the ceiling.

She frowns at me. “Even your sister’s?”

I sigh again and run my fingers through my blond curls. “It’s not so much the wedding itself, it’s what happens every time I’m at one, or talking about one with my parents.” I think about what my mom said to me during the reception, after the best man had given his speech – what she has said to me at every single wedding to the point where I have it memorized and just wait for it now. We’ve had three weddings in our family over the past two years, including my older sister and brother, and I am so over it. Riley has been my date to all of them because I don’t have a boyfriend and haven’t had one for a long time – something I am reminded of far too often. But I don’t like to date casually. If I’m going to be with someone I want it to mean something, so sue me. I’m not going to pick up some random guy just to take to a wedding. I’d rather be there with my best friend and know I’m going to have a good time. Or at least, as good a time as possible.

“What do you mean?” Riley furrows her brows, pushing herself up to sit.

“It’s the same thing, and it happens without fail every time,” I say, propping myself up on my elbows. “My mom comes up to me, puts an arm around me, and says, ‘Look how happy they are, Wes. Pretty soon it will be you getting married. We just need to find you the right person’.” I groan as I fall back on the bed and Riley winces.

“Ooh. Sorry.”

“God, Riley, I just can’t take another one of my mom’s awful set ups. And I’m so sick of her giving me that pitying look like I’m subhuman because I don’t have a boyfriend. And now that April is married it’s going to be ten times worse. She’s already asked me to come over for dinner next weekend and I know it’s to get me to meet some random guy she probably ran into at the gym, or the salon or something. I mean, I know she means well, but I’m going crazy. Why can’t she just trust me to find my own boyfriend?” I know I’m whining and I sound pathetic, but I can’t help it. This has been an issue for a while and I’m sort of losing my mind over it.

“Wes, is it possible that you are overreacting?” Riley asks. “Just how bad can these set-ups really be?”

“Okay, look,” I push myself up to sit now. “I know I can be kind of particular, but even you would run screaming from these guys she’s invited over. First, there was the man in his forties.”

“Well, you shouldn’t let age stop you.”

“Okay, yes, but he was still living with his parents, and had been for the past six years.” Riley covers her mouth to hide a chuckle and I go on. “Then there was the man who only spoke French. He was gorgeous, but I can’t be in a relationship with someone I can’t talk to. That whole meal was hella awkward. My mom was using what little French she’s retained from high school to try and translate for us the entire time. What am I gonna do with that? Bring her on all our dates? And then there was the guy who had six dogs. Now, I like dogs, but six is a lot, and he let them all sleep on the bed. That’s a bit too much for me. Then there was the guy who was wearing a toupee to dinner, which fell off when he threw up after getting drunk.”

Riley has tears streaming down her cheeks now and is holding her stomach as she laughs. I can’t help it and laugh right along with her because it really is ridiculous. I don’t know where my mom finds these guys. She has the worst luck.

Riley wipes at her eyes as she calms down. “Oh, man. Your life could be a sitcom, Wes.” She takes a moment to calm the fuck down and then says. “Look, I’m not defending your mom, but maybe she’s just getting a little worried about you because you haven’t actually been on a date in like...years.”

I cringe. “I go on dates,” I argue.

“When?” Riley crosses her arms over her ample chest and looks me in the eyes.

I open my mouth to respond and then snap it closed again.

“Uh huh. Listen, if you don’t like it, ask her to stop. It’s your life. Even if she means well it doesn’t mean you have to tolerate it if it upsets you. She’ll understand.”

I bite my lip. “I don’t know,” I sigh. “I’m not very good at telling my mom, ‘no’.”

“Yeah, and see where it’s gotten you?” Riley points out. “You’re miserable and whining to your best friend.”

“Sorry,” I mumble, my gaze dropping to the comforter.

She reaches over and slaps my stomach.

“Ow!” I cry, rubbing the spot.

“You know I don’t care,” she replies. “What are best friends for if not to listen to you bitch about how much life sucks?”

I smile and laugh a little. “Thanks. I hope you feel that way next weekend ‘cause I’m gonna be calling you after that dinner at my parents’ house goes horribly wrong.”

She smiles at me. “Can’t wait.”

Sure enough, I’m on the phone with Riley the following weekend and I don’t know if I’m more horrified or amused about how the evening at my parents’ house went.

“Okay, tell me everything,” she says.

“Well, first of all he brought his son.”

“Oh, that doesn’t sound so bad.”

“His son was my age,” I say, and she immediately bursts into laughter.

“I’m serious, Riley. I didn’t know if I was dating the father or the son, or if something really creepy was going on and I was supposed to be dating both.” I sigh as I plop down onto my white sectional and pinch the bridge of my nose. “On the plus side they were both pretty nice. But it was just too weird. In my mom’s defense I don’t think she was expecting it either. She didn’t seem to know which one was for me any more than I did. And my dad was just smiling at me the entire time like he was trying not to laugh.”

“Oh, Wes, you have to do something about this. Talk to your mom.”

“I can’t,” I say, resigned. “I’m weak.” I pick at my fluffy pink throw pillow as I pout. “I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“Well, by not risking hurting her feelings you are only hurting yourself. You’re not a bad son, you know. And you’re only a dick if you don’t care, which you do.”

“I know,” I grumble. “Stop speaking wisdom to me and let me be miserable and ignorant.”

“Wes, you know I just want what’s best for you.”

“I do know that,” I say. “Listen, I’ll see you at work in the morning. I gotta go and get some sleep.”

“Okay. Bye, sweetie.”

“Bye.”

Mom calls while I’m at work a week later and I let it go to voicemail. I work at a coffee shop, despite the fact that I could never work a day in my life and still be set, thanks to being a trust fund baby. My parents set them up for my siblings and me and we all got access to ours when we turned eighteen.

I’m not the type to sit around doing nothing all day, however, and I love coffee, and people, and working with my best friend, so this job is perfect for me. Besides, the income I get from the trust fund each month is sizable, and I enjoy using the salary from the coffee shop to make donations to my favorite LGBTQ+ charities. I am blessed with a very accepting and supportive family, but I know that’s not the case for a lot of queer people, and there’s a few organizations that mean a lot to me, some right here in Florida.

I listen to Mom’s voicemail when I’m on my lunch break and she sounds way too excited about yet another date she wants to set me up on. Oh. My. God. Kill. Me. Now. I’m banging my head on the table in the break room when Riley walks in and starts laughing.

“Your mom called, didn’t she?” she says, sitting down next to me.

I groan. “Yes. Fucking hell, Riley, this is nuts. She’s already got someone new she wants to set me up with. I can’t take it anymore.” I sound so fucking despondent. Riley reaches over and pats my hand.

“You know what you need to do,” she singsongs, pulling a sandwich out of her lunch bag. She takes a huge bite and jelly slides down her chin. She licks it off.

I bite my lip. I know she’s right. It’s the easiest solution to this whole mess, but I just can’t tell my mom that I hate her meddling and that her dates are awful. It would break her heart.

So instead, I call her back after work that day and tell her that I can’t come meet whoever she has lined up for me because I’m already seeing someone. It sounds like a great idea at the time. But the more questions she asks me the more shit I have to make up on the fly and now I’m panicking because I’ve really backed myself into a corner this time. Shit. How the hell am I going to get out of this one? I just told my mom that I’m dating someone that I haven’t even seen in nine years, and not only that but he’s an ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend, the one who freaking stomped on my heart and threw it to the fucking wolves for a goddamn chew toy. And to top it all off, he used to be my best friend, before we started dating. And now she’s so excited about the fact that we’ve “gotten back together” that she wants me to bring him around for dinner anyway. So what the fuck do I do now? Admit that I’m a goddamn liar? Fucking fuck fuck fuck.

Way to go, Wesley. Way to go.

CHAPTER 2

WESLEY

Okay, I am seriously worried about my best friend. I’ve just told her what happened on the phone with my mom, and how I am totally screwed, and she’s smiling. Smiling. Like what the actual fuck?

“What is wrong with your face?” I frown at her as she sits, curled up on my couch with a mug of coffee in her hands. She’s wearing an oversized sweatshirt and leggings and has her hair up in a messy bun. Apparently, when I told her to haul ass over to my place so we could talk, this was the best she could do. And I was told it was my job to have coffee ready and waiting. That’s pretty much my way of putting out for Riley.

“So, you told her you had a boyfriend?” she reiterates, biting her lip.

“Yes,” I say, scowling at her.

“And she asked you to bring said boyfriend over for dinner so she could meet him?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you just tell her you weren’t ready for that yet? I mean, you and “mystery man” have only been dating for a week, after all.” She’s trying not to laugh and I’m glaring daggers at her, but it’s not working.

“How much will it cost me to get a new best friend?” I mutter.

“More than you have, I’m sure,” she says, smacking me on the leg.

“Look, I thought If I told her it was someone she already knew it would get me out of the ‘wanting to meet him’ bit. I didn’t expect it to backfire on me. But she got so excited about us being together again she wants me to bring him to dinner. What am I gonna do?”

Okay, now she’s smiling again. What the fuck? “Seriously, what is wrong with your face?” I ask again. “It’s broken.”

“What?” she says. “No, it isn’t.”

“No, it definitely is,” I say. “Because that’s not what concerned or frantic looks like. You look happy that I’m screwed.”

Riley rolls her eyes at me. “You’re not screwed.”

I scoff. “Um, excuse me. I just told my mom that I’m dating Cooper Williams, and I haven’t even talked to the guy in nine years, so how the hell am I supposed to show up with him at my parents’ house for dinner next weekend?” My voice is a bit harsh, but come on, I’m desperate. “What do I do? Call her back up and tell her that her youngest son is a lying jackass?”

“No,” Riley says, taking a sip of her coffee with so much calm that it makes me want to scream. And then she makes the next statement as if it’s clearly the most logical solution, and one that I would have thought of if I wasn’t so dense. “Bring Cooper to dinner.”

I almost choke on air. “Excuse me?”

“Look, you need him to do you a favor, so reach out to him. I happen to know he’s not seeing anyone.”

“I don’t understand why you’re still talking to him,” I grumble.

“We’ve been over this, Wes.” She gives me a stern look. “He was my friend, too. And what happened between the two of you didn’t have anything to do with me. He’s not a bad person. I care about both of you, and I can’t pick sides. I shouldn’t have to pick sides. You can’t ask me to do that. It’s been nine years. You guys have to figure out a way to work past this. And even if you can’t be best friends again, maybe you could at least figure out a way to be amicable with each other.”

I shake my head as tears start to fill my eyes. “I don’t know if I can, Riley.” Fuck. I hate that that bastard still has this affect on me all these years later.

Riley’s gaze softens. “Look, if you want me to, I’ll reach out to him and set everything up. You just agree to meet and I’ll give you the details. Who knows, maybe it will go better than you think.”

I sigh. “Listen, what makes you think he’ll even go for this? Why would he? He doesn’t care about me. Not anymore.”

She reaches over and squeezes my arm. “You never know until you ask.” She sits back and takes another sip of coffee. “You could always offer to pay him if you’re worried about it. It’s not like you’re exactly hurting for the cash.”

I bite my lip. She’s not wrong. But, oh, god, how pathetic did you have to be to pay someone to pretend to be your boyfriend? Apparently about as pathetic as I am because I find myself saying, “Fine. If he agrees to meet with me I’ll do it.”

COOPER

What the fuck am I doing here? I run my fingers through my hair, my leg bouncing up and down like it always does when I get nervous. And why am I nervous anyway? It’s not like I don’t know Wesley. Or maybe it is? We haven’t interacted or spoken to each other in nine years. And now we’re meeting to, what? Talk about fake dating each other? At least that’s what Riley said when she called. The whole thing seems fucking insane. But that’s why I’m here. To meet Wesley and hear it from the man himself.

I pick up my phone and growl when I see what time it is. Then I text Riley.

Me: He’s not here.

Riley: Wait. He’ll be there

Me: He’s probably making me wait on purpose just to make me sweat it out.

Riley: <Eye roll emoji> You guys are ridiculous. When are you going to just grow up and forgive each other? Am I ever going to be able to be in the same room with both of you again?

Me: Doubtful.

Riley: Look, I hate to be the one to point this out, but if you are going to have a convincing fake relationship, even short term, you’ll have to not be fighting constantly or glaring at each other

Me: Good thing I’m such a good actor then

Riley: Oh brother

Me: Tell me why I’m doing this again

Riley: Because despite pretending otherwise you still care about him and you would be doing him a favor. Besides that, I’m sure the money doesn’t hurt with everything your mom’s been going through.

Me: Did you tell him about her?

Riley: No. I promised I wouldn’t. But would it really be so bad if you did?

Me: Oh shit. He’s here

Riley: Then stop texting me

Me: If I keep texting you I don’t have to talk to him

Riley: Bye, Cooper

WESLEY

I let out a deep breath as I close the door of my red Mini Cooper (yes, I’m well aware of the irony) and make my way into the restaurant. Riley set the whole thing up for us, letting us each know when and where to meet. And honestly, part of me was hoping that Cooper wouldn’t be here. Then I could forget the whole thing. The idea of seeing him after all this time is making me nauseated. But as soon as I pulled into the parking lot, I spotted it. His signature ride. The black and green 2007 Honda Shadow he parades around on. The same one he’s had since he was seventeen. I still can’t believe his mom let him get that thing. It terrifies me – the idea of being on a motorcycle, so much so that I never rode it with him. I like the idea of being snug and safe in my compact car. Sure it’s tiny, but I’m not a big guy, so it fits me perfectly.

I take a deep breath and square my shoulders before heading inside. When I see the tall, well built man in the corner booth, his dark hair impeccably styled, his fingers flying over the keys on his phone, brows furrowed, I swallow.

Coop.

Cooper.

My Cooper.

Except he hasn’t been my Cooper for a very long time.

I move closer, and Cooper looks up, setting his phone down on the table, his gaze meeting mine. My breath catches in my throat, because, shit. Cooper might be my sworn enemy now, but damn if he hasn’t gotten even more gorgeous in the last nine years. Same brown eyes, thick full lips and high cheekbones, same dark hair. The dusting of stubble over his jaw makes him look rugged and a bit like a bad boy, which I am totally not getting hot and heavy over, and he’s filled out more. His black T-shirt is snug, showing off his toned upper body and I notice the tattoo of a snake that starts at his wrist and extends to his elbow, coiling around his right forearm. That’s new. Well, new for me. What’s not new are the three earrings in his right ear. He’s had those since he was sixteen. Today he wears a silver cuff in the top and middle piercing, and a black stud through his lobe. When he stands to shake my hand I notice just how form fitting his jeans are. They hug his thighs and his ass, and my cock is taking notice no matter how much I don’t want it to.

No, I hate him. He’s not fucking gorgeous, I remind myself. Okay, he is fucking gorgeous, but I still hate him. And you are not coming out to play, so stop it, I reprimand my dick.

And then Cooper speaks, and I feel myself go weak in the knees. His voice had not been that deep in high school.

“Hey, Wes,” he says, and I feel a shiver go down my spine. My dick, which had just begun to deflate, starts to stiffen again in my jeans.

Shit. I hate him.

“Cooper,” I say, stiffly, nodding and shaking his hand back. I can’t help but notice how firm his grip is, the familiarity of his rough, warm hands. Hands that used to know me so well.

Cooper is staring at me now like I’ve lost my mind because I’m just standing at the table not moving and he’s been sitting down for I don’t know how long. Fair enough. I do appear slightly manic. And seeing as this entire get-together is for the express purpose of me paying him to be my boyfriend I haven’t really got a leg to stand on.

I clear my throat and sit down.

“So, it’s, uh...it’s been a while,” Cooper says, biting his lip.

“Yeah,” I reply, taking my napkin and placing it on my lap. Cooper hasn’t touched his. His silverware is still rolled up. He’s got a mostly empty glass of water in front of him.

“You look good.” His gaze flits over me and he smiles.

I scowl at him. “Seriously?”

He clears his throat. “Right. Look, before we say anything else, I know things are...messy between us. But it sounded like you were willing to put that aside for the sake of...whatever this is you needed help with.” He gestures between the two of us with his hand. “So, I’m hoping that means we can be around each other without causing an international incident.”

“Yeah, I hope so too.” I cross my arms over my chest, still scowling. Honestly, if anyone causes trouble it will be him. He’s the reason things turned out the way they did in the first place. But I remind myself it’s just one meal. I can tolerate Cooper for just one meal with my parents. Then I never have to see him again.

“I gotta admit I was pretty surprised when Riley told me you wanted to meet with me.” He runs a hand through his thick, coffee colored hair. It’s parted on the side and a stray chunk falls in front of his forehead. It’s not at all sexy. And for the love of god my cock is not twitching again. Is there anything about this man that doesn’t turn me on? No, no there isn’t. And it’s infuriating. “Especially when she told me what it was about,” he continues, raising an eyebrow.

I clear my throat and hate myself for blushing. “Yes, well, the truth is I’m kind of in a bind.” I squirm, refusing to meet his gaze. I can tell he’s smiling and I want to throat punch him.

“Yeah, that’s what I heard. Care to enlighten me?” I can hear the amusement in his voice and I look up. He’s smiling widely.

“I need a boyfriend, okay? Or someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.” I feel my cheeks heating and I’m mortified. I can’t believe I’m doing this, and part of me, a very large part of me, is tempted to just get up and leave. But then where would that leave me? I can’t. I have to follow through with this. So I continue, gritting my teeth. “More specifically, you.” My stomach turns sour at the admission.

“And why is that, exactly?” Cooper’s arrogant smile grows even wider. And I’m having visions now, involving me, his motorcycle and a set of keys.

“Look,” I start, “I don’t appreciate being made fun of, and I was prepared to pay you for your trouble if you were willing to go along with this, but if –”

“No, no,” he says, holding up his hands. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be a dick. Go on.” His smile fades, and while his expression returns to neutral, I notice that there is still a slight twinkle in his eyes.

I sigh. Honestly, it is slightly humorous that I’ve gotten myself into this mess. “I told my parents I have a boyfriend in order to get them to stop setting me up with random guys,” I tell him. “And when they said they wanted to meet him I figured if it was someone they already knew, I wouldn’t have to go through with that part, so I kind of… told them it was you. And it completely backfired on me cause my mom freaked out, like in a good way, and now she really wants me to bring you over for dinner. I think she’s doubting that we’re actually together or something. Which isn't totally unwarranted considering how things ended between us, and the fact that we haven’t spoken in nine years, but...” Shit, I’m rambling, and I’m running out of breath. Why am I getting like this around him? I didn’t used to be all flustered with Cooper. He was my boyfriend, my best friend, the person I felt most comfortable in the world being with. The person I told all of my secrets to. He was my everything.

My heart is racing, and I’m feeling lightheaded. And honestly, incredibly foolish. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to ask for Cooper’s help with anything. I never wanted to see the man again, let alone be paying him to pretend to be my boyfriend. It’s humiliating.

While I’m in the middle of having a melt down, Cooper leans forward and laces his fingers together, elbows on the table. “Look, Wes,” he says. That’s the second time he’s called me by my nickname and it’s making me want to scream and melt into a puddle of goo at the same time. God, he’s infuriating. I’m so discombobulated right now.

“Wesley,” I say, harsher than I mean to, but I’m a mess right now and it’s the only thing I can think of to help me feel somewhat sane and in control again. He flinches.

“Wesley,” he corrects, and I see the hurt in his eyes. “I really don’t mind helping you out.” There is more kindness in his voice than I feel like I deserve, especially after that outburst, and a wave of shame washes over me. I swallow. “I can see this is important to you,” he continues. “I’ll do my best to be convincing as your boyfriend for the evening, but we’ll have to get our story straight as to how we got back together.”

I straighten, shifting in my seat a little, and blink at him. “You’ll do it?” I ask, almost in disbelief, and honestly wishing he wasn’t being so damn nice about it. But then his next words have me crashing back to reality as I remember why he’s being so willing, and that it has nothing to do with him having a kind heart or any sort of feelings for me.

“I’ll do it. Honestly, I could use the cash.” Right. The cash. Of course it’s about the cash. I could never expect him to do anything simply because I needed a favor and he’s my friend. Well, was my friend. I thought I knew him in high school, the kind of person he was. You would think so after being best friends with him for nine years. But I learned the hard way that you don’t always know people as well as you think. And what does he need the money for anyway, what with his dream job and all? The job that apparently was more important than I was.

I snort. “Not to get too business-like on you, but I’ll expect you to do the boyfriend bit convincingly, and then get paid.”

“Why does this feel like I’m pimping myself out?” Cooper asks with a smirk.

My cheeks heat. I am not thinking about Cooper and sex. Bad idea.

The waiter shows up just then and takes our orders. I get a salad and soup, and Cooper orders a triple bacon cheeseburger. I don’t know where the guy puts it all, or how he stays in such great shape eating like that all the time, but I also can’t help smiling, because even after nine years, some things never change.

CHAPTER 3

WESLEY

The next several days pass in a blur, and before I know it I’m in front of Cooper’s apartment waiting for him to come down so we can make the drive to my parents’ house. Things have been a little awkward since our meal. We’d discussed our make up story, basically decided that we’d run into each other in public, Cooper had convinced me to go to coffee with him and we’d talked, started hanging out together again and then made up and started dating.

Yeah, right. Talk about a fairy tale. Anyway, what they don’t know won’t hurt them, right? After that we’d exchanged numbers in case we needed to contact each other during the week, but then had gone our separate ways. Cooper had texted me once to ask what he should wear to dinner. Like I give a rat’s ass what he wears. Honestly, he could wear a paper sack and look sexy as hell, the bastard.

Then he’d texted again to ask what time I would be picking him up. My responses had been short and to the point. Things like, ‘doesn’t matter’ and ‘6:30’. Then I had texted just to let him know I was in front of his building. And now, I’m waiting.

Cooper steps outside a moment later, wearing jeans and a short sleeve black button-down with the top two buttons undone, giving me a peek of his gorgeous tanned chest. I catch a glimpse of another tattoo on his left pec, but I can’t make out what it is. He’s got an earring in the top cartilage of his right ear and it looks so damn hot. I want to lick it and watch him squirm. Ugh! No! Bad Wesley! Bad, bad, bad!!! I rest my head against the back of the seat and groan before he gets to the car. Of course his hair is immaculate as always and I want to reach over and ruffle it up just to make him look a little less perfect. I frown when I realize it wouldn’t make him look any less sexy, though. I don’t think it’s possible for Cooper to look anything but sexy. I’ve thought that since we were fourteen, and at twenty-seven Cooper is practically sex on legs. Not that I would ever tell him that. The guy’s probably got a big enough head as it is. Oh, great, now I’m thinking of his cock, and my cock is getting hard again. For the love of –

“Hey, unlock the door.” Cooper taps on the window. I do, reluctantly, while glaring at him, and he furrows his eyebrows as he climbs into the passenger seat. “What?” he says, and then he’s trying to adjust the seat to fit his six-foot-two-inch frame, and I can’t help laughing when his head hits the roof of the car as the seat snaps back to make room for his extra long legs.

“Ow.” He rubs his head and looks at me. “You couldn’t have gotten a slightly bigger car?”

“Oh, yes, silly me,” I say. “I should have had this very scenario in mind when I made my purchase three years ago. What was I thinking?”

He huffs at me, and I smirk as he sits there looking like a giant while he buckles. Then I put the car in reverse and back out of the parking lot.

I’m pretty sure the silence couldn’t be more awkward as we drive. It’s only fifteen minutes to my parents’ house but it feels like an eternity with him sitting there next to me, staring out the window, his leg bouncing up and down. I want to reach over and hold it down to make it stop. And yet at the same time I wonder what he’s so antsy and stressed about, because I know he’s stressed. That’s his go-to anxious tick. He’s been doing it since I’ve known him. But just as I’m about to break the silence, he speaks. And his voice is a little unsure, which maybe explains the whole leg thing.

“Hey, so, I know it’s only one evening, but what are you expecting in terms of physical affection in front of your parents?” he asks. “I’ll do whatever you want in order to make sure we sell it, but I don’t want to do something you don’t want me to.”

My face heats and I swallow. Shit. Why hadn’t this occurred to me? Of course if we’re “dating” Cooper’s going to be touching me. But I really don’t know how I feel about that. Confused is probably the best word for it. On one hand it sounds amazing. I feel like I’ve been missing his touch, craving it, aching for it ever since we broke up. At the same time, the idea of letting him put his hands on me after the way he treated me, makes me sick. Fucking hell.

“Wesley?” His deep voice breaks through the thick fog that is my brain. I clear my throat and rub the back of my neck.

“I, uh...I don’t know. Whatever feels right, I guess?” I don’t think I’ve ever sounded more unsure of anything in my life.

His eyebrows furrow again and he frowns. “I don’t think anything is going to ‘feel right’,” he says, putting the phrase in finger quotes, “since we’re not actually dating, and you seem to not want to have anything to do with me in real life.” And what the fuck? Where did that come from? What happened to putting our differences aside so we can get through this? And how did he go from being congenial and anxious to royally pissed off?

I glance at him, my own irritation rising to the surface. “You really want to do this now?”

Cooper’s jaw clenches and so do his hands, but then he closes his eyes and takes in a breath and lets it out, running his fingers through his hair. And of course now it just looks like he got fucked and I’m right back to having an inappropriate boner. “No,” he says, as I shift in my seat, trying to adjust myself discreetly. “I’m sorry. You’re right. We weren’t going to let that get in the way.” He sounds dismal, but I don’t really understand why. If he didn’t want us to be apart for the last nine years all he had to do was NOT BREAK UP WITH ME! And yet I love how he’s making it sound like it’s my fault. Selfish prick.

Cooper clears his throat and says, “So, holding hands? Putting my arm around you?” He pauses and I see him biting his lip out of the corner of my eye. “Kissing?”

I visibly tense, my hands gripping the steering wheel so hard it hurts, and he winces.

“Okay, no kissing.” He holds up his hands. “Got it.”

“No, no, it’s...it’s fine,” I take a deep breath. “If it will help sell it, it’s fine.” My hands are trembling and I don’t think I even believe myself.

“You sure? ‘Cause you look like you’re about to have an aneurysm there.” He gestures to me and I glare at him while I yank my hands off the steering wheel and shake them before gripping it again.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Cooper shrugs.

God, we’re off to a great start. This is going to go so well.

COOPER

I sigh as I stare out the window, watching the landscape whiz by. I can’t believe I agreed to do this. Regardless of how much I need the money, this is a fucking nightmare. Why did I ever think it would be anything but? Wesley despises me, and I knew that, but seeing it so prevalent in everything he says and does, the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me, the way he reacts to me. Jesus, it hurts. To see him respond like he did to the idea of me kissing him, like he couldn’t stand the thought. Fuck. Especially since the idea of kissing him again makes my mouth water. Just being around him again, looking at him again is making me hornier than a moose. I’ve never been attracted to anyone the way I’m attracted to him, never wanted anyone the way I want him. He’s so fucking cute. That mop of blond curls and those gorgeous blue eyes. Those full lips that I just want to take in my mouth and fucking nibble on. His slender, petite frame that always fit so perfectly in my arms, and that gorgeous, tight ass. God, he’s sexy as hell. And being reminded of that, of how much I’m drawn to him, sucks when he is clearly disgusted at the idea of being close to me. My chest aches with the need to touch him. And the idea that he doesn’t want me anywhere near him, fuck that’s painful. Suddenly my hurt turns to anger and I’m clenching my jaw again. What does he have to be frustrated about anyway? He was the one...I shake my head and breathe out through my nose. Never mind. It doesn’t matter. It’s just one night. It’s not worth thinking about. We’ll have dinner together, pass as boyfriends, and then go our separate ways. And I’ll bury the last nine years like I’ve done so far. Knowing that Wesley hates me. But still not understanding why.

We pull up to his parents’ house a few minutes later and climb out of the car. Okay, Wesley climbs out. I have to pry myself out of the damn thing. For Christ’s sake. I can’t wait to get back to my bike, where I can breathe and stretch, and enjoy the fresh air. I ignore Wesley’s smirk as I draw myself up to my full height and take in the house. It’s not the one I grew up living across the street from, but it’s nice. Greg and Christine downsized when their kids moved out and they live in a ranch-style home now, as opposed to the two-story that was across the street from my mom and me when Wes and I were kids. It’s in a more rural area, which seems to suit them, and has a large front yard and porch with two rocking chairs out front. There’s a wind chime hanging from a hook near the front door made up of different colored glass flowers, and a small garden in the front yard. It makes me smile because these are two people that I love dearly even though things between their son and I didn’t work out. I always felt like a member of the family in their home and knew that I was loved. Being here brings back a lot of memories of their warmth and laughter – Greg’s terrible jokes and Christine’s amazing food.

“Ready?” Wesley asks, pulling me out of my daze. I nod and shut the car door. As we’re heading up the pathway to the front door I reach out and take his hand into mine, lacing our fingers together. I hear his breath hitch as he tenses once more. There’s a pang in my chest but I ignore it.

“Just playing my part,” I say. “We should probably be holding hands when they answer the door.”

Wesley swallows. His smaller hand is fidgeting in mine, his fingers flexing. I can feel the sweat on his palm. “Right,” he says, but it’s so soft I barely register it. He runs his other hand through his curls and they fall back over his forehead and almost into his eyes. God, what I wouldn’t give to get my hands on those gorgeous locks again. I remember how thick and soft they are. I remember how he moaned when I tugged on them as our tongues tangled together. The way the sweat would gather in them when we fucked, and the way the water would drip from them afterwards when we showered together.

Fuck, now I’m hard. He has no idea what he still does to me. I want to pull him into me and slide my tongue down his throat, tangle my fingers in his hair. I want to grab those slender thighs and haul him up, feel his legs wrapped around me again, my hands on his ass as we make out like teenagers. And he’s looking like he’s about to have a panic attack just from holding my hand.

“Hey, try to relax,” I say, my erection deflating. “If you look nervous every time I touch you this isn’t going to last long at all.”

He lets out a deep breath and looks at me, studying my face for a moment. I’m not sure what he sees, but then he’s looking back at the door. “Yeah,” he says. “Okay.”

I step forward and knock on the door, and a second later Wesley’s mom answers it, her eyes going wide.

“Cooper?” She stares at me in disbelief. Her dark hair is up in a pony tail and her hazel eyes move to Wesley, and then back to me, then down to our clasped hands as if to make sure that we’re actually here together. “It’s really you.”

“Yeah,” I say, giving her a genuine smile. And, god, am I tearing up? “Hi, Mrs. Hall.”

“Oh, don’t you dare call me that,” she says, beaming at me. “It’s Christine. Come here.” She steps forward, her eyes filling with tears as she embraces me, and I see the honest to god look of shock on Wesley’s face. “Oh my god,” she whispers. “I can’t believe it.”

I exchange glances with Wesley and he shrugs. Clearly neither of us expected his mom to be so emotional over my visit.

“We’ve missed you so much around here,” she says, pulling away. “I’ve been hoping and praying for so long that the two of you would work things out and get back together. I can’t believe it’s finally happened.” She wipes tears from her eyes, stepping back, and then embraces Wesley. “Don’t you dare let him go again.” She gives him a wide smile, and I watch as he returns it with an award-winning fake one.

“I’ll do my best,” he replies, taking my hand again.

“Come on, come in.” Christine gestures for us to follow her, the smile never leaving her face, her eyes dancing.

And I can’t help but feel a pang of guilt that none of this is real.

CHAPTER 4

WESLEY

“So, Cooper, fill us in,” Mom says as we sit down to dinner. “What’s been going on with you?” She and Dad are on one side of the table and Cooper and I are on the other. There’s fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and salad spread out in front of us, and Cooper’s eyes are bugging out of his head as he fills his plate, like he hasn’t eaten in days. I’m pretty sure he’s salivating. “I have to say, you sure have grown up handsome.” She’s smiling widely, and, oh my god, somebody kill me now. I mean, she’s not wrong, but still, somebody kill me now. I’m flushing, and trying to crawl under the table from embarrassment, and she’s still going on about how attractive Cooper is! “Not that I’m surprised. You were always a good-looking boy.” Holy shit. She’s like a broken record. Make it stop. “You and Wesley always looked so adorable together.”

Fucking hell. “Mom,” I groan, and Cooper flushes, smiling. Goddamn that smile. It’s full, and beautiful, and my skin tingles. And now I’m pissed again because, damn him. But I can’t glare because we’re supposed to be dating and who glares at their sexy boyfriend for being sexy?

“What?” Mom says. “You did. It makes my heart so happy to see you both here.”

I do my best not to roll my eyes. And then I have to keep from flinching when Cooper reaches over to take my hand. I swallow as his thumb brushes against my skin. “Yeah, this guy is pretty hard to resist,” he says, looking at me. Fuck, he looks so sincere, saying this shit while staring into my eyes, and I don’t know if I want to cry or vomit knowing what a load of bull it is. Shit, Cooper can really lay on the charm when he has to. Kudos to him. Maybe I should be paying him more because he’s a damn fine actor. “I only wish we could have gotten back together sooner, but I guess we just had some growing up to do first. Either way, we’re together now and that’s all that matters.” I smile back, my heart racing and my stomach churning. I feel bile rising in my throat. Hearing him say stuff like that, and knowing he doesn’t mean a word of it, it makes me sick. I didn’t realize just how much it would hurt to hear him say all the things I wished were true and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they aren’t. That he doesn’t mean any of it, and that he’s only doing it for the money. It’s like pouring lemon juice on an open wound.

“Aww,” Mom says, completely fooled. “So, back to my question, Cooper. What’s been going on with you? Are you a pilot now like you always dreamed of?” She has a smile a mile wide and I try to keep the scowl off my face as I slide my hand away from Cooper’s subtly.

“Um, no, actually.” Cooper glances down at his plate as he plays with his napkin. I look over at him at the same time that both of my parents’ brows furrow. The light is gone from his gorgeous brown eyes and his shoulders are slumped.

“Oh,” Mom says, the sadness evident in her voice.

“That was the plan,” Cooper continues, still not making eye contact with any of us, “but it didn’t work out.”

I can’t help it. I blink and stare at him, dumb struck. What? Cooper has wanted to be a pilot since we were little kids. He had model airplanes of all kinds decorating his room, and magazines and books littered his bed and floor whenever I came over. Posters of Trainer planes, Gliders, Sports Planes, Aerobatic Planes, Warbirds, Jets, and Float Planes adorned his wall. We’d spend half our summers lying out in the open fields on top of my dad’s pick-up truck, or on the grass just staring up at the sky waiting for airplanes to fly overhead. Cooper would get excited every single time and I would tease him endlessly for it. And even though I never understood Cooper’s obsession with planes, or his desire to fly them (in fact, it terrified me to no end) I’d always done my best to support him. He’d talked about taking private lessons for years and then hopefully getting his commercial license once he got older. That had always been the plan. I couldn’t imagine him being anything other than a pilot. It was his dream. One that he’d pursued above everything else. Including me.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” My mom’s words bring me out of my thoughts.

“Thanks.” Cooper gives a sad smile.

“Is that still the plan, or are you pursuing something else?” Dad asks. And damn it, I’m curious, too.

“I’m not sure,” Cooper says, still fiddling with his napkin, and I notice his leg bouncing up and down again. “Still figuring things out right now.”

My mind is racing a mile a minute, and I’m pretty sure it isn’t because I actually care about Cooper a whole lot, but I really do want to know why he hasn’t done whatever he had to do to make this dream of his a reality. Especially when he didn’t seem to have any problem shoving me aside to make it happen.

“How’s your mom doing these days?” Mom asks, and a cloud descends over Cooper’s face. She immediately frowns. Jesus, this evening is going swimmingly. Why don’t we just see if he has a pet we can run over and be done with it?

“Um, not so good,” he says, shoving a bite of salad in his mouth. “She has cancer.”

I almost choke on my food. What? I try not to act surprised, but holy shit! Cancer? Assuming I’m supposed to have been dating Cooper for at least a couple of weeks now this is technically something I probably should have already known, so I shouldn’t be responding in shock, but, what the actual fuck? I try to think of what a good boyfriend would do, while at the same time trying not to look shell-shocked. Natalie has cancer? I settle on reaching over and taking Cooper’s hand. He looks at me and gives me a soft smile that actually seems quite genuine. But my heart is pounding. Natalie is sick? Shit. I can’t believe I didn’t know that. What the hell else am I going to find out about Cooper during the course of this evening that is going to fucking floor me? Is he married, too? Does he have kids hiding somewhere? You’d think Cooper could have filled me in on these important details the other day at the restaurant so I wasn’t taken so off guard hearing about it now. Jesus, my head is spinning.

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” Mom says.

Dad lifts his glass to take a drink and then asks, “How’s she doing?”

“Not well, unfortunately,” Cooper says. “It’s been on and off for a few years now. She’s a fighter and she was doing okay for a while, but the doctors said she’s not responding to treatment anymore and she’s terminal now. They gave her six to ten months about 4 months ago.”

I swallow and try to ground myself, but I don’t say anything, because I don’t know what to say. What is there to say when someone’s losing the only parent, the only family they have left, and you didn’t even know, because you were ignoring them for the last nine years? Suddenly, I feel like a gigantic asshole. Fortunately my mom speaks up again and for the first time in my life, I’m pretty sure, I’m thankful for her ability to talk non-stop.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” she says, reaching over to take Cooper’s other hand. “Is she still living at home? Does she have help?”

“She’s living with me,” Cooper says. “We make it work.”

“Well, I’m sure she appreciates it,” Mom says.

“Thank you,” he replies. “After everything she’s done for me, it’s the least I can do.”

“Please let us know if there’s anything we can do to help,” Dad adds. “Really, anything at all. I’m sure you have your hands full. And we’d love to come visit her and just keep her company if she’s up for that, or bring her meals, or help around the house.”

Cooper smiles. “That’s very kind of you. Thank you.”

“She must have been so excited to hear that the two of you were back together.” Mom’s smile is back and her gaze flits back and forth between us.

“Oh, um, she actually doesn’t know yet,” Cooper replies. “It’s a fairly new development. I hadn’t gotten around to telling her.”

“Oh, honey you have to tell her. It would brighten up her day so much. And make her last few months so much happier. Seeing our kids happy is what brings us the greatest joy.”

Cooper tries to give his best fake smile but I can tell he’s mulling things over in his head. Probably thinking about the consequences of lying to his mom about us, and shit, I hadn’t considered that either. But if he doesn’t say something my parents will mention it and she’ll find out one way or another. There’s no getting around it. Shoot. This one date plan has just gotten even more involved. Are we going to be stuck fake-dating until the end of time just to keep our parents happy? Ugh. Why couldn’t I just take Riley’s advice and tell my mom the truth? Because I’m a fucking coward, that’s why.

“Oh, you know what?” Mom speaks up, grabbing onto Dad’s arm, causing him to practically choke on his food. She ignores it, her voice brimming with excitement. “We’re having a family trip to the beach next week to celebrate our anniversary. We’re staying at our beach house. Derick and Macy are coming. You two should join us, and Cooper you should bring your mom. I think the beach would be good for her soul.”

Cooper’s eyes widen, and so do mine. Because what the fudge? I know what staying at the beach house will entail and I’m not prepared for that.

I try to hide the note of panic in my voice when I ask, “What about April?”

“Your sister will have just gotten back from her honeymoon so she can’t make it,” Mom says, waving me off. “It’s perfect. You and Cooper can have your room and Natalie can have the spare room.”

“Oh, um, wow, that’s really nice of you to invite us, but we wouldn’t want to intrude on family time,” Cooper says.

“It’s not a bother at all,” Dad says, and I have to stop myself from glaring at him, because Cooper had just given us the perfect out. But my parents are too goddamn nice. “You guys are family. And it would be a blessing to us to have you there. There’s plenty of room. It’s got four bedrooms which is perfect. Your mom would have her own space but you would still be close to her. There’s a hospital nearby if anything were to happen.”

“Please say you’ll come,” Mom pleads, gently. And, shit. I can’t believe what I’m about to do.

“Hey, babe, can I talk to you for a second in private?” I say, the endearment tasting like vinegar on my tongue.

“Sure.” Cooper wipes his face on his napkin and then scoots out of his chair and follows me into the kitchen.

“What?” he asks as soon as we’re out of earshot of my parents.

“Look, as much as it pains me to say this,” I say, rolling my eyes, “you have to come.”

“Excuse me?” Cooper crosses his arms over his chest and purses his lips.

“Listen, they don’t invite just anyone to come on their anniversary getaway with us. This is a big deal. You have to come.” I poke him in the chest. And god, it’s so fucking firm. Does this guy live at the gym? Okay, focus, Wesley. Focus.

“Look, Wesley, I like your parents, and I get this is important, but this was supposed to be a one and done thing, and it’s already gotten way out of hand. I didn’t sign up for this.” Cooper takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his hair, and I sigh. “So,” he continues, “if I do this, I’m gonna need to be compensated. If I’m gonna be lying my ass off to my mom and spending a week playing liar-liar-pants-on-fire with you in front of your whole family, you have to make it worth my while.”

And god, if that doesn’t sting. But I refuse to let him see that. He’s not worth it. I can’t let him know that he still affects me the way he does. That apparently I still ache for his affection. For him to want me, to care for me. I narrow my gaze and purse my lips. “Fine. Not like I’d expect anything less from you.”

“Fine,” Cooper replies.

Then we both plaster smiles on our faces as Cooper slides his arm around my waist, and I do my best not to grimace as we make our way back to the dining room.

The rest of the evening goes by smoothly, I guess. Mom manages to avoid asking Cooper any more upsetting questions. We have dessert, and she does ask how we got back together so thank fuck we got our story straight with that one. The lie goes off like a breeze and I’m a little mortified at how easily she swallows it. Shit, I’m a horrible son.

When the evening comes to a close we say goodbye to my parents and my mom gives both of us a kiss on the cheek as we head out the door. They are both waving to us from the front porch as we get in the car and wave back, Cooper once again cramming himself into the tiny space of the passenger seat. I’m cackling and I’m not even a little bit sorry. Ahh, it’s the little things that make life so grand. His head is almost pressed against the roof and he’s slouched so that he has room, which makes his knees touch the dash. It looks acutely uncomfortable. It’s hilarious.

When I drop him off at his apartment, I watch as he struggles to get out and then walks up to the door of his building. I wait for him to turn around and look at me, and then I lower the top down and cackle as he gapes. He’s too far away for me to hear him, but I see him pull out his phone and then I hear my phone alerting me to a text message. I pull it out even while I’m laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my face and my stomach hurts.

Cooper: You mean to tell me you could have had the top down the entire fucking time and you made me suffer the whole way just to be a dick?

Me: It was so worth it, just to see the look on your face. Night boyfriend. <Wink emoji>

Cooper: I hate you.

I’m laughing almost the whole way home.

When I step inside my phone buzzes and I see that it’s a text from Riley wanting to know how the evening went.

Me: It was as pleasant as a root canal. And it’s not over. We got roped into spending a week with my parents at their beach house and we’ll probably be stuck fake-dating for eternity thanks to my brilliant plan. Also, thanks for not telling me about Natalie having cancer btw, that was a nice surprise. WTF??

A second later my phone is ringing.

“Hey,” I answer with a sigh as I flop back on my couch. I close my eyes and squeeze the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger.

“It wasn’t my place, Wes,” Riley says, getting straight to the point. “If Cooper had wanted me to share I would have, but he didn’t and I had to respect that. And can you blame him? You guys weren’t speaking to each other. You hated him. As far as I knew you didn’t want to hear the guy’s name, let alone talk about what was going on in his life. Do you know what an incredibly difficult line it is to walk between the two of you? Trying to stay friends with you both all this time and not stepping on any toes? I’m willing to do it because I love you both, but I need you not to blame me for shit, Wes.”

I sigh. She’s right and I know it. I have no reason to be angry when I’m the one who’s ignored Cooper for as long as I have. Neither of them is obligated to share anything with me. But Natalie having cancer is a big deal. And I hate that I didn’t know.

“I’m sorry,” I reply, running my fingers through my hair. “You’re right. I didn’t mean to be a dick. I’m stressed about the week at the beach house and that’s not helping.”

“I know, sweetie,” she says, being more gracious with me than I deserve. “But I think it will be okay. You can call or text me any time. You know that.”

I don’t know what I did to deserve her. After everything that happened with Cooper, I’m so thankful I still have Riley.

CHAPTER 5

COOPER - ONE WEEK LATER

“Oh, this is beautiful,” Mom says as we pull up to a cozy, one-story, mint green beach cottage with a wrap around porch and a white picket fence out front. There’s a small front yard with a stone pathway leading up to the front steps and palm trees making up the majority of the landscaping, along with a few other smaller plants. On the porch is a white swing as well as two adirondack chairs with a table in between.

Wesley pulls into the driveway behind his dad’s truck and turns off the motor. Mom and I rode with him but I made him keep the top down now that I know it does that, the little fucker. I’ll admit he got me good with that one, and honestly it did my heart good to see him laugh, even if it was at my expense. I’d do anything to see him happy. His smile is everything to me.

I take another look at the house. It really is beautiful. And I’m certain Mom will love it here. It’s peaceful and quiet, and the sea is practically in the backyard. I’m hoping that her body and soul find some rest here. She’s had it rough the past couple of years and she deserves a respite. Still, I can’t help but feel some anxiety about the idea of sharing such a small space with Wesley for an extended period of time. Sharing a room with him, a bed. Fuck, that’s going to be dangerous. I don’t know how we’re going to navigate this, touching each other in front of his family, pretending to like each other, and then going to bed at night, and what? Sleeping as far away from each other as possible?

I climb out of the car and open the back door to help Mom out. She’s thin and pale, and has dark circles under her eyes, and a scarf wrapped around her head, but I don’t think I’ve seen her smile like that in a really long time, her eyes soft, and the sun shining on her face. I smile too, as she squeezes my arm.

“Let’s see the rest of the house,” she says. “And then I think I’d better find someplace to rest.”

“Sure, Mom.” She takes my arm as we walk up to the front door, Wesley trailing behind us with her luggage.

We step inside to a bright, open floor plan. There’s a spacious, modern kitchen to the right, complete with a bar and stools, beautiful granite countertops and a corner nook with a built-in bench seat and table with three additional chairs. The walls and furniture are all a cozy beige or off white color with splashes of navy blue or turquoise interspersed among the dishes and towels.

To the left of the entryway is the sitting room. There’s a fireplace, above it a large flat screen tv, and surrounding it, two chairs and a large sofa and loveseat, each with oversized throw pillows in various shades of blue. The floors are tile with a large rug in the center of the living space as well as down the hallway leading to the guest bedrooms and bath. Sunlight floods in through the french doors leading out to the back deck. The master bedroom is just off the living area and the door is open.

“Mom, Dad, we’re here,” Wesley calls, and a moment later Greg and Christine poke their heads out of the master bedroom.

“We’re so glad you could make it,” Christine says, giving Mom a warm hug.

“Thank you so much for inviting us,” she replies with a soft smile. “It’s lovely here.”

“It’s our pleasure. Let me show you your room.” She leads the way through the living area and down the hall. To the left is the guest bath, and one bedroom, and to the right are two more bedrooms. Christine passes the first bedroom and stops between the two at the end of the hall. “We thought we’d put you across from Cooper and Wesley. We figured you’d feel most comfortable being close to each other.” She gestures to the room on the right with a queen-sized bed, matching oak dresser, love seat, and a window looking out onto the back yard.

“Oh, this is perfect,” Mom says, and I’m pretty sure she has tears in her eyes. “Thank you.” I take her hand in mine and squeeze it gently and then kiss her cheek.

“Of course.” Wesley and Cooper this is your room,” Christine says, stepping across the hall. The room is almost identical but the rug on the floor is a different color and the dresser and the love seat are on opposite sides.

I swallow hard when I see the one queen-sized bed meant for both of us. We haven’t shared a bed in years, and the last time we had we’d actually liked each other and wanted to be close. And while I’d love nothing better than to fall asleep with Wes in my arms, I know that’s the last thing he wants.

“Thanks, Mom.” Wesley gives her a smile, but I can sense his unease.

Christine turns to Greg. “Come on. We’ve got some more unpacking to do. There’s some things I think you’ll want to see.” She smiles at him flirtatiously and takes his hand.

“Oh, yeah?” Greg grins and slides his arm around her waist, pulling her close. “What kinds of things?”

“Things I think we should put to use later tonight,” she replies, and then kisses him.

“Oh, god,” Wesley cringes. “Seriously, guys? I know it’s illogical, but I am still very much under the assumption that you guys do not have sex, and I’d like to keep it that way, so please, just stop.”

Christine and Greg laugh, and I can’t help it, I join them, and to my utter delight, so does my mom. It’s the best sound in the world. Even if fake-dating Wesley is difficult, at least there’s some good coming from it. Being around his family again, and seeing Mom happy is like a balm for my soul. So even if this isn’t real, I’m going to soak it up as much as I can.

“Come on, Mom,” I say, taking her arm. “I’ll help you get unpacked.”

Mom is resting on her bed while I’m finishing up unpacking, when I hear commotion in the front room, and then Wesley’s older brother’s voice.

“Hey, squirt,” he says, and I hear Wesley groan.

I can only imagine what’s happening when Wesley follows with, “Derick, you ass, put me down.” I chuckle. Derick is closer to my size than Wesley’s and he loves to manhandle his little brother. At five-foot-six Wesley’s not tiny, but compared to us he’s small. I’m not complaining because I love everything about his size. But, enough thinking about that because it’ll just make me want things I can’t have.

“Hey.” I turn to look at Mom. She’s giving me a soft smile. “I’m really happy for you, sweetheart.” She reaches out to me and I move towards her and take her hand. “You deserve to be happy. I know things haven’t been easy for you lately. It warms my heart to see you and Wes together again.” I try to smile but it must fail because she frowns. “What’s wrong?”

I let out a breath. “Nothing.” I try harder to paste on a fake smile for her sake. “I’m fine, Mom. And I’m happy to be here. Get some rest, okay?” I lean down and press a soft kiss to her forehead.

“I love you,” she says, reaching up to stroke my cheek.

“I love you, too,” I reply, and then leave the room, closing the door behind me.

When I get out to the living area, Greg and Christine are puttering around in the kitchen, and Derick and Macy, I think it is, are sitting cuddled up on the love-seat. Wes is across from them on the couch, curled up with his knees to his chest. He looks so damn cute. Have I mentioned that I love how tiny he is? I just want to pick him up and plop him back down on my lap, nuzzle my nose in his neck and breathe him in.

“Hey, it’s true,” Derick says, drawing my attention back to him and his wife. He’s smiling widely as he gets up to give me a hug. “It’s good to see you, man. I thought maybe Wes had finally driven my parents to insanity when they told me you two had gotten back together. Glad to see it’s not true.”

“Very funny,” Wesley mumbles, and I chuckle.

“Thanks, man,” I say, and turn my attention to his wife.

“Oh, yes, Coop, this is my wife, Macy,” Derick says.

“Nice to meet you.” I reach over to shake her hand. She has long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and deep brown eyes. She gives me a lively smile.

“You, too, Cooper. I like your tattoo.” She nods to the black snake coiling around my forearm.

I grin. “Thank you.” It’s official, I like her. She turns her other arm over and shows me the roses on her forearm. “Nice,” I say, and it is. It’s vibrant, and gorgeous.

“Any significance to it?” she asks as I take a seat next to Wesley and Derick takes his place next to her.

“No, I just thought it looked cool,” I reply, grinning.

“Same.” She smiles back at me. “I’m trying to convince Derick to get matching ones but he’s a scaredy-cat.” She nudges her husband, grinning at him, and he does a full body shiver.

“Hell to-the-no,” he says affirmatively. “If you wanted matching tattoos you should have married someone else.”

She chuckles and kisses his cheek, and I can see the genuine affection in both of their gazes as they look at each other. He drapes his arm over her shoulders and draws her close. She rests her head on his shoulder and I start to panic a little, because Wes and I are most definitely not giving off any of those lovey-dovey vibes.

I bite my lip and look at him as Derick and Macy flirt with each other, ignoring us. Then I decide to go for it. He’s paying me for this, after all. I turn sideways and slide down on the couch, resting my head on a pillow, my legs draped across the cushions, and wiggle my socked toes at Wesley. He lowers his legs and my feet go on his lap where he begins to massage them. God it feels good. His small hands can do amazing things. And after being on my feet for hours at a time all day, every day for work, this feels soooo good. I groan as he works. He moves from the sole, to the instep, to the arch, the heel, and then to each individual toe, and they crack, loudly, but I love it. Jesus, I could lay here all day and let him work on me.

“You guys need some privacy?” Derick teases.

“You only wish your girl did this for you,” I say, and wink at him. “Jealousy is not a good look on you, my friend.”

Derick laughs. “Oh, my girl does plenty of things for me. I have nothing to be jealous about.”

Macy smacks him on the arm, grinning.

“I thought we weren’t allowed to talk sex on this trip,” Greg remarks from the kitchen.

“Who said that?” Derick asks.

“Your brother,” Christine says. “Apparently he thinks you two were dropped off by the stork.”

Wesley blushes furiously. “Oh my god, I didn’t say that. I just don’t want to think about the two of you having sex, and thanks a lot because now it’s front and center in my brain again.”

We’re all laughing now, except for Wesley. He’s always been a little shy when it comes to sex, and I remember that now and try to rescue him. “Sorry, babe, my fault,” I say, and sit up, sliding my feet away from him. He looks at me, his eyes soft. I lean over and press a kiss to his temple, feeling his soft curls under my lips and drinking in the scent of vanilla and almonds.

“Hey, what about a game of beach volleyball?” Derick challenges Wesley and I. “Me and Macy against you guys.”

“Yes!” Wesley leaps off the couch like his pants are on fire. He’s playing it off like he’s super excited, but I’m fairly certain he just wants to do anything that will make it possible for us to not be in such close proximity to each other, and the thought makes my stomach sink. I’m actually enjoying being around him again, but he clearly can barely stomach the closeness, if his body language is anything to go by.

“I, uh, I don’t know,” I say, biting my lip.

“Why not?” Wesley is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“I don’t think I should leave my mom alone.”

“She’s not alone,” Christine says, giving me a warm smile. “Greg and I will be here and we’ll let you know if she wakes up, sweetie. You guys go have fun.” But I’m still hesitating.

“I don’t want her going without me for too long.”

“We don’t bite, Cooper,” Greg says, calmly, with a hint of a smile. His eyes twinkle behind his glasses. “You’re allowed to enjoy yourself. And I think your mom would want you to. It’s a short walk to the beach. You can be back in less than five minutes if you need to be. Just take your phone and we’ll call if we need to.”

I sigh. But then I catch Wesley’s gaze and those blue eyes are looking at me in a way I’m not sure how to interpret. He seems thoughtful, maybe? “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” he says. “We can stay and watch a movie, or play a game or something, if that’s better.” The sincerity in his voice melts my heart, because even if he hates me, he cares. And maybe he doesn’t even care about me directly, but he clearly cares about my mom, and about my concern for her. This isn’t him acting, I know that. And that settles it for me.

“Let’s go play volleyball,” I say, as I stand. “It’ll be fun.”

Wesley’s eyes widen. “Are you sure?” he asks, putting a hand on my arm. He looks me in the eyes. “We don’t have to.”

“I’m positive,” I say. And without even realizing what I’m doing, I lean down and press my lips to his in a soft kiss. He sucks in a breath, his body tensing, but then relaxes and accepts it, because what else can he do? I pull away and he bites his lip, blushing. I have to stop myself from apologizing for taking him so off guard because we're dating, right, and that was perfectly normal. Ugh, this whole fake-dating thing is messing with my head. All these things I want to be doing, and am actually doing, and wish I could be doing for real, but they don’t mean anything to him. And his family has no idea. Fuck, I feel like my brain is a ball of spaghetti.

“Okay,” Wesley says, “Let’s go change. We don’t want to play beach volleyball in jeans.” Then he surprises me by taking my hand and leading the way to the bedroom.

WESLEY

As soon as we get in the room I release Cooper’s hand and shut the door. Then I make my way over to the dresser and start rummaging through it. But I can’t focus. Shit. Why did he have to kiss me? Now my brain is a muddled mess. It was two seconds, but the feel and taste of him is lingering on my lips, and in my mind, and I’m as flustered as all get out. Apparently not too flustered to notice the sound of his zipper being lowered though, because, hello! my cock is taking notice of that. I stop my pathetic attempt at finding my athletic shorts and tank and look through the mirror above the dresser, checking out Cooper’s very fine backside as his jeans fall to the floor. He turns sideways, slipping his T-shirt off over his head, leaving him clad in only his navy blue boxer briefs, and giving me the perfect view of his toned abs and flat stomach. Not to mention that muscular back. Holy shit, now my cock is very, very aware. I’m fully hard as I gape. I feel like I know better but I can’t stop myself. That ass is so perfect, and my gaze lingers on it for a moment before my eyes lower to his muscular thighs as he slides his shorts on. I sigh internally. Why does he have to get dressed so fast? I haven’t had such incredible eye candy since...well, shit, I don’t want to think about that. My gaze travels back up to his torso, and once again I catch a glimpse of the tattoo on his left pec before he slides his shirt on. I’m pretty sure I see a heart but I can’t make out the rest of it. And the real issue now is that he’s completely changed and I haven’t done a thing except stand here and ogle him, and I’ve got an erection that I cannot let him see. Way to go, Wesley. Way. To. Go.

“Hey,” Cooper says, turning to face me. My gaze meets his through the mirror. He’s fiddling with his sunglasses as his gaze darts to the floor. “Sorry if I caught you off guard with that kiss. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

I swallow, and my words are more high pitched than I would like for them to be when they come out. “It’s fine,” I say, and then I clear my throat and try again.“It’s fine.” That’s better. I didn’t sound like a fucking mouse that time. “You were just doing your job. I get it. Don’t worry.”

He nods and looks like he wants to say something else but doesn’t. Instead he rests his sunglasses on top of his head and says, “You coming?”

“Uh, yeah, in a minute.” I’m not moving a muscle from where I’m standing. Right now this dresser is the only thing hiding my erection from his sight. If I turn at all he’ll get an eyeful and that is the last thing I need.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you in the living room.” He gives me a bewildered expression and then leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. I let out a breath, run my fingers through my hair, and stare down at my hard on, willing it to go away. It has to go away. I don’t have time for a jerk off session and I really don’t want to be jerking off to thoughts of Cooper, anyway. He’s not supposed to take up space in my head anymore. Okay, who am I kidding? He’s taken up space in my head since the moment I met him. But he hasn’t taken up that kind of space in a long time, and damn it, I refuse to let him worm his way back in so easily. He hasn’t earned that just because he’s fucking gorgeous. He treated me like shit and as I remind myself of that, my erection subsides.

I change quickly and join my brother, his wife, and my fake boyfriend out in the living room.

“Hey, you finally made it,” Derick says.

“Perfection takes time.” I gesture at my clothes. I’m wearing a pair of fitted black gym shorts and a pink tank top with writing across the front that reads, Kinda wanna workout, kinda wanna take a nap.

Derick and Macy chuckle but it’s Cooper’s reaction that grabs my attention. He’s legit checking me out, and I feel my cheeks heat, especially when he puts his arm around my shoulders and says, “You do look cute.” Then he kisses my head. And goddamn him my stomach fills with butterflies, and I find myself wanting to nestle into his broad chest at the same time that I want to push him away. Instead I slide my arm around his waist and paste on a smile.

“Do we have sunscreen?” I ask Derick.

“Right here.” Macy holds up a bag with towels, sunscreen, and the volleyball.

“Cool, let’s go.” We make our way outside through the sliding glass doors. Cooper removes his arm from around my shoulders as we wave goodbye to my parents who are relaxing on the back patio, enjoying the sunshine and fresh sea air.

As soon as we step off the stairs and onto the ground, Cooper is taking my hand in his again, and he doesn’t let go until we’ve made our way down the beach and are standing at our destination in front of the volleyball net. It’s private property so we’re alone, save for the sea life. It’s warm, but not hot, given that it’s January in Florida. The sun is shining and the waves are crashing. Seagulls fly overhead and land every so often to pick up morsels on the sand. I kick off my sandals and let the warmth envelop my feet, digging my toes in. There’s a slight breeze that blows through my hair and I notice it doing the same to Cooper’s dark locks.

Then I watch as he squirts sunscreen on his arms and starts lathering it in, and holy hell, arm porn. His shoulder and arm muscles are rippling like nobody’s business and I can’t look away. Fuck, that’s hot. Cooper has the perfect amount of arm muscle. It’s not ridiculous, like a bodybuilder, but it’s certainly noticeable even without him flexing.

“Hey, Wes, you want a towel to wipe off some of that drool?” my brother asks, holding one out to me, and I damn near take it before I realize he’s just being a prick. I glare at him instead. I notice Cooper glancing at me, and he smiles but doesn’t say anything. Fuck, he can’t catch me perving on him.

“I might need a towel,” Macy says, and I laugh. Derick smirks at his wife, and she giggles.

Once we’re all finished with the sunscreen Macy grabs the volleyball out of the bag and tosses it in the air. “Let’s make this interesting. Losers have to cook dinner tonight for Derick and me.” She looks at me and Cooper and grins widely, then tosses the ball up again.

“Very funny,” I reply, jumping up and snatching the ball out of the air. It earns me a playful jab in the ribs from Macy, and a snide remark from my brother.

“Ooh, way to go, short stack. I didn’t know you could reach that high.”

“Hey,” I reply. “First of all, bite me, and second, we can’t all be tall. Some of us have to be attractive.”

Macy laughs and gives me a high five. Derick gives me the finger. When I turn to Cooper, he winks at me, smiling.

“No, but for real though, whoever loses cooks dinner tonight for everyone else,” Macy says. “Deal?”

“Okay,” I say, with a shrug. “But I hope you know how to make peach cobbler and Mom’s famous casserole, cuz that’s what I’m in the mood for.”

An hour later I’m showered and in the kitchen, writing down the ingredients for Mom’s casserole while I mumble about the game being rigged, and Derick and Macy stand near me, gloating.

“Happy shopping,” Macy says with a grin, holding up the keys to my car.

I grab them out of her hand and stick my tongue out at her because apparently I’m a five-year-old. She just laughs. I turn to Cooper who’s sitting on the couch, also freshly showered and dressed in jeans and a clean T-shirt. “You coming, babe?” I ask.

He glances out to the back porch where his mom is visiting with my parents.

“She’ll be fine,” Derick says. “She seems to be enjoying herself.”

Cooper watches her for a moment longer. She’d had a nap and has been visiting for a short while now. She seems content. Happy even, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air, and the company. Her scarf blows in the breeze and she even laughs now and again.

“Just let me tell her where I’m going,” he says, and stands up, the rest of us exchanging glances as he heads out to the back porch. He places a kiss on his mom’s cheek, and rubs her back. He says something and she smiles, squeezing his arm, and then he’s back inside.

“Okay,” he says. “Let’s go.” He gives me a smile but I notice it’s a forced one.

“I’m sure I can manage on my own, if you’d rather stay,” I tell him. “Or I can take Derick with me.” I smile at my brother.

“No, no,” Cooper hurries to dismiss my offer. “I’m coming. Let’s go.”

I nod and grab my wallet off the counter. He does the same and we head out to the car. I’m sure to put the top down again because Cooper won’t let me not. I can’t help but chuckle a little as I do, and he smirks at me.

“There are some advantages to being short,” I say.

“I’m sure there are.” He gives me a smile. A gorgeous, knee buckling smile. Well, it would be knee buckling if I wasn’t already sitting down. Thank god I am.

“Can I ask you something?” I say once we’re on our way. I have to talk loud to be heard over the noise on the road and the sound of the wind blowing by as I drive through town. It’s a short drive to the grocery store with a few stop lights between here and there but I can’t sit in silence the whole way. It’ll drive me crazy.

“Sure,” Cooper says, a little hesitantly.

“Do you always get this nervous about leaving your mom?”

He wrings his hands together. “Probably,” he admits, looking down at his lap. “I’m all she has, you know?” His gaze meets mine for a moment before I’m watching the road again, but that’s all it takes for me to see the pain behind those big brown eyes. It cuts me. Shit. I can’t imagine what he must be going through. What he’s been going through. For years. Taking care of his mom on his own, while trying to hold down a job. God. I wish I could have been there for him. I would have been, if he had wanted me to be. I would have done anything for him.

“Not right now, you aren’t,” I say. “Let us help you this week. Take a break. What do you do when you go to work?”

Cooper scoffs. “Worry a lot. Spend a lot of time texting her to make sure she’s okay. She’s got a medical alert button if there’s an emergency. Fortunately she’s able to do most things for herself, like changing and feeding herself, and showering, but it does wear her out really fast, so she spends most of her time sleeping anyway. I used to spend a good deal of my time driving her to appointments, but...” He shrugs. “You’re right. I should let you guys help. And I do think being here is good for her. It’s just hard to break a habit, you know?”

“Can I ask you another question?”

Cooper nods.

“How is it that you are this tall and yet you suck so bad at volleyball?” I grin as he gives me the finger.

“Maybe if my partner wasn’t hobbit-sized and could actually block,” he retorts, but he’s smiling.

I pull into the parking lot of the local Publix and we climb out, making our way inside. He grabs a basket because we only need to get a few things. I can’t help ogling those delicious arm muscles again. They’re teasing me this time, just peeking out from beneath the sleeve of his T-shirt. As we add things to the basket and it gets heavier, his muscles strain more, and I’m sort of tempted to put extra things in just to watch them at work. His phone rings as we’re gathering what we need, and I can tell his mind immediately goes into panic mode as he pulls it out of his pocket, resting the basket on his forearm.

“Hello?” he says. “Oh, yeah, of course. You’re sure you’re okay? Okay. Love you, too.”

“Everything all right?” I ask once he hangs up. His breathing is a little heavy and his cheeks are flushed. I can tell he’s trying to calm himself down.

“Yeah. Sorry.” He looks sheepish, but I don’t know what he’s sorry for.

“What’s up?”

“It was my mom. She just wanted to ask if we could pick up some wine for tonight. I just, of course, assumed the worst. She’s fine, though. Really.”

“Are you?” I ask, noticing the tremor in his hands. I reach over and take the basket from him and he clenches his fist, letting out a deep breath. I find myself putting my hand on his back and rubbing circles on it, even though there’s no one around to put a show on for and I don’t need to convince anyone of anything. I just can’t stand to see him so upset.

“Yeah, I will be.” He gives me a soft smile.

“Come on. We’re almost finished. You’ll feel better once we’re back home.”

COOPER

“Okay, first things first,” Wesley says when we’ve gotten back to the beach house and I’ve checked on my mom. She’s lying down again, but told Greg and Christine that she’d like us to wake her for dinner. They are sitting outside with Derick and Macy, sipping on lemonade and ice tea while they visit. The sound of their laughter carries through the sliding glass door and warms my insides. “Preheat the oven.”

“To what?”

“375.”

I suck at cooking, but I can at least do that. I turn the oven on.

“Okay, do you think you can handle cutting up the biscuits?” Wesley asks, taking them out of the grocery bag.

“Guess we’ll find out.” I’ve never been much of a cook. My mom was always a great cook and she tried to teach me, but it just didn’t take. I find it stressful, and honestly, overwhelming. It’s difficult to keep track of everything and even when I try to follow a recipe, I find myself reading each step multiple times, and I still miss something, or get it wrong. And then there’s all the words that I have to look up because I don’t know what they mean. The kitchen is honestly my least favorite place to be, but it’s always seemed to be where Wesley comes alive. I envy that about him. I wish I enjoyed cooking because I feel like it would make life simpler, and even happier sometimes. I’ve been living off of frozen meals and take out, which means Mom has, too, and it’s not ideal. Having dinner with his family the other night was amazing. I can’t remember the last time food tasted so good. And while I don’t mind helping out in the kitchen, I’m terrified of messing up.

“Okay, I’ll do the onion,” Wesley says, and gets to work, washing his hands and pulling out a cutting board and knife.

I start smiling a moment later when I hear Wesley humming, “Better When I’m Dancin”, by Meghan Trainor. I smile even more when he starts swaying his hips to the music, and bopping his head. I hiss a second later when a stinging, sharp pain shoots through my hand.

“Shit,” I say, dropping my knife, and cupping my hand as blood drips down my palm.

“Fuck, Cooper,” Wesley says, looking over at me and realizing that I’m injured. I’m utterly embarrassed, but he just grabs my wrist and hauls me over to the sink, turning on the water. “What happened?” He looks up at me as he holds my hand under the cool stream.

“Just got distracted.” I bite my lip as Wesley grabs a clean washcloth and holds it against the cut, putting pressure on it.

“By what?” He glances up at me, then brings his attention back to my hand.

I swallow. You, I want to say. Your stinking adorable ass, and the way it moves when you dance. Your fiery spirit. Your heart. The way you let yourself go. Your stubbornness. I want to say all of that. But I can’t. I want to tell him how much I still care for him. How I’ll always care for him. The effect he still has on me, even after all these years. How unbearably beautiful he is. How hard it is to look at him and not kiss him breathless. How the kiss we shared earlier that day had been the best thing that had happened to me in a long time, as short as it was, even if it hadn’t meant a thing to him. I want to tell him how much I miss just talking and laughing with him; how desperately I wish we could go back and relive those days as teenagers, when we were so young and in love, so sure of what we wanted and how the world was going to work out. But none of that matters. Wesley doesn’t want me anymore. He hasn’t wanted me for a long time. This isn’t real. I have to remember that.

“Just stuff,” I shrug.

“Stuff,” Wesley scoffs, his tone clipped. “That’s not vague at all.”

“It’s none of your business,” I snap. Shit, I don’t mean to be a dick, but the thought of having all of these feelings for Wes again is driving me crazy, especially when I know they can’t go anywhere, and that he wants nothing to do with me; that every single touch, every look, every word of endearment from him is a lie.

“Okay, fine,” he says. Then he lets out a sigh. “Look, keep applying pressure and I’ll be right back. He hurries off and returns a moment later. He pats my hand dry, applies some antibiotic ointment, and then a bandaid.

“Thanks,” I say, not meeting his gaze.

“You okay to keep going?” he asks.

“Yeah, I think so.” I hold my hand gingerly for a second. It stings a little still but it’s not bad. “I guess we found out if I’m capable of cutting up biscuits or not,” I add, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Wesley gives a small smile. “I can finish them if you want.”

“No, I can manage.” As long as I keep my eyes and my mind on my work, and not on you, and that perky little ass of yours. I never said I was perfect though, so I do give it one last glance before I pick up my knife again.

CHAPTER 6

WESLEY

“Well, that was delicious, boys,” Natalie says, wiping her face off on her napkin and smiling at Cooper and me as we sit around the dinner table that evening. It’s a beautiful night so we decided to eat outside on the patio. The stars are twinkling overhead and there is a light breeze.

“Yes, you should lose at volleyball more often,” Dad adds.

“Plenty more opportunities,” Macy says, grinning.

“Yes, but I only have one hand left.” Cooper holds up his injured hand. Natalie takes it into hers gently and places a kiss on it.

“My poor baby,” she says.

My mom smiles. “You three rest,” she gestures to Cooper, Natalie, and I. “The rest of us will clean up.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I say. Making dinner wasn’t bad, but I am worn out. It’s been a long day, emotionally and physically, and I’m still thinking about how awkward it will be to crawl into bed with Cooper tonight, and it’s making my stomach twist. Part of me wants to curl up next to him and let him envelop me. I haven’t felt that warmth and safety in a long time. But another part wants to be as far away from him as possible.

I get up and make my way to the bathroom, trying to clear my head, but also because I have to piss. I take my time, and when I get out the dishes have been cleared and everyone is gathered back on the patio. Mom and Dad are on the love seat and Derick and Macy have taken the couch, leaving Natalie with the chair, and of course, the bed swing for Cooper and I. But fuck it, I’m exhausted, so it’s looking pretty amazing right now. I go over and lie down. A second later Cooper is crawling up behind me and draping his big arm over me. I can feel his warm breath on my neck and his body pressed against mine, and I shiver.

“You cold?” he asks, rubbing my arm.

“No,” I say. I breathe in the scent of his musky body wash. His voice and lips are so close to my ear it’s giving me goosebumps and my cock is twitching again. Goddamn it. I really have to give my dick a talking to. I can’t be dealing with this all week.

Cooper keeps stroking my arm gently, his body pressed close to mine, and before I know it, I’m drifting to sleep.

It’s the sound of our mothers’ low conversation that wakes me. I don’t know how much time has passed but I let my eyes crack open enough to notice that everyone else has gone inside, save for Cooper who still has his arm snugly around me. I let my eyes fall shut again as Natalie speaks. I don’t want her or my mom to know I’m awake.

“It warms my heart to see them together again,” she says. “I was never really sure what happened, but I know it was hard on Cooper when they broke up. He just told me that it was the right thing to do, and that was all I could ever get out of him. But he just wasn’t the same after that. I know what they meant to each other, as friends and as boyfriends, and I couldn’t imagine two people more suited for each other. I mean, I know no relationship is easy, or perfect, and I don’t believe in soul mates, but they were just good for each other, you know? Even as teenagers.”

My heart clenches in my chest and I almost can’t breathe. I swallow. What is she talking about? It was hard on Cooper? It didn’t seem hard on Cooper to me. He just told me we were done and that was it. It gutted me. I thought we were good for each other, too. I thought we were going to be together forever.

Mom speaks next, and her words have silent tears rolling down my cheeks as I listen.

“I do,” she says. “Wesley never told me what happened either, just one day, they were over. I couldn’t understand it. But he was never the same after that, either. Cooper not being in his life changed him. It was like a part of him, the best part of him, died. I don’t think he ever got over that loss, though he tried to convince us he had. Still, he never had another boyfriend. And it was clear Cooper still had his heart, even years later. I do know they made each other better. They challenged each other, encouraged each other, learned from each other, and there was nothing they wouldn’t do for each other. Wesley’s always been stubborn, and he’s never been good about talking about his feelings, but he’s got a good heart. I know that he loved Cooper fiercely. I’m sure he still does. Whatever happened, I’m just glad they worked it out and saw how much they needed each other.”

Shit. The worst part is, it’s all true. Except the last part. And I don’t know that we will ever work it out. It’s like my heart is destined to be in limbo, aching for an eternity for someone who doesn’t want me no matter how desperately I want him, need him. I’ve always needed him. He was my rock, my safe place. My shelter. But he’d made it pretty clear a long time ago that he didn’t want or need me. Not as much as he wanted or needed other things, anyway. I had been an inconvenience, a waste of time, and so Cooper had dumped me in order to pursue the things that were most important.

Thankfully, Mom and Natalie go inside after another minute or two. I sit up and wipe the tears from my cheeks. Then I slide out of Cooper’s grasp and turn to wake him.

“Hey,” I say, shoving him, not really even trying to be gentle. “Everyone’s gone inside. Let’s go to bed.”

Cooper groans, and stands slowly, before following me inside and into our room. I close the door and slide out of my jeans and into pajama pants, and Cooper does the same, but then he pulls off his shirt as well, facing away from me. That’s when I notice the tattoo on his right shoulder blade. Dozens of small black birds fanning out on either side in the shape of angels’ wings, and below, the dates, 6/30/59-5/10/2013. May tenth, 2013? That was less than two weeks after we had broken up. Did he lose someone? And I didn’t know? I swallow. “You sure have a lot of tattoos,” I blurt out.

“That a problem?” he asks, sliding another shirt on and turning to face me.

“No.” I blink. “I just didn’t know.” I still haven’t gotten a good view of the tattoo on his chest. Who knows how many more he has in places I haven’t seen. Hmm. I kind of like the thought of that.

“Probably a lot you don’t know about me,” he says, rather harshly as he flings the covers on the bed aside and climbs in.“That’s what happens when you ignore someone for nine years.” Shit, did he get a bug up his ass between here and the patio, cuz what the fuck?

“Seriously?” I say. “I try to start an actual conversation with you and that’s how you respond? You’re unbelievable. Why do I even try with you?” I climb into the bed and turn the bedside lamp off, laying down on my side, and a minute later I feel Cooper tugging on the covers. “Knock it off,” I almost growl.

“You’re hogging them,” he snaps back.

“And you’re on my side.” I roll over and yank the covers back. “Scoot over.”

“I am not.” He pulls on the covers again. “This is my side. You scoot over.”

“I’m literally on the edge of the bed. There is nowhere for me to scoot over to.” I clench my teeth in indignation. God he’s infuriating.

“Well, me neither.”

I roll over and sigh. “This is so typical of you.”

“What the hell does that mean? It’s typical of me to steal covers? When was the last time we shared a bed?”

“No,” I almost growl again, turning to face him once more. “It’s typical of you to be a selfish dick.”

“Okay.” Cooper draws out the word. “Want to tell me what the hell you mean by that?”

“Forget it. I’m going to sleep.” I roll back over and grip my pillow, holding it close.

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

When I wake up the next morning, Cooper’s side of the bed is empty and the sound of chattering and dishes clinking echoes down the hall. The aroma of bacon and coffee is what gets me to finally push the blankets aside and stumble out of bed.

“Good morning, sweetie,” Mom says when she sees me stumbling down the hall towards them.

I mumble something. A second later, Cooper is placing a warm cup of coffee in my hands and a kiss on my temple. I’m taken aback, until I remember that we’re supposed to be dating. But going from arguing, to flirting and affectionate at the drop of a hat is getting exhausting and is really beginning to mess with me. I rub at my eyes and blink as I take a seat at the bar.

“You sleep okay?” Cooper asks, rubbing my back.

I nod, because, yeah, actually, I can’t remember that last time I slept so well, in fact. I look outside and that’s when I notice the rain coming down, hard. I take a sip of my coffee and sigh.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a day for games and movies it looks like,” Dad says from where he’s leaning against the counter. “It’s supposed to do that on and off all day.”

My eyes widen, and I jump off of my stool, setting my mug down, because, shit. My car. I left the top down yesterday not knowing it was going to rain, and it’s going to be a fucking wreck! “Shit.” I grab my keys, not even bothering to slide my shoes on. I just run out the door.

COOPER

Fuck. I feel terrible. I haven’t been up that long, but it’s been several minutes longer than Wes, and I should have thought of his car in this downpour, getting drenched. It’s because of me he’s even driving around with the top down anyway. I set my mug down and hurry down the hall to the closet and grab as many towels as I can, then make my way back to the kitchen and slide my shoes on.

“Here,” Derick says, “give me some. I’ll help.”

“Me, too,” Macy says, and I hand them each some towels before we head outside to rescue Wes’ car.

When we reach the driveway he’s got the top up and he’s completely soaked from head to toe, his clothes pasted onto him and his hair plastered to his face. The rain is coming down so hard it actually hurts when it hits my face. We make our way over to him and climb inside. The car is drenched. There is water pooled in the cup holders, and on the floor, and in the crevices. The seats are soaked. God, I feel terrible. I toss a towel to him and we begin sopping up as much of the water as we can while the rain continues to beat down outside. It’s not nearly enough but it’s what we have for now. We’ll get the rest of it taken care of when the rain lets up. If it’s not enough we’ll have to take it to a shop, but I’m hoping we can handle it on our own.

“Thanks, guys,” Wes says as we apply pressure to the towels, trying to sop up as much water as we can. I’m in the front with him, and Derick and Macy are in the back. We’re all wet as can be but no one’s complaining.

“Anything for you, bro, you know that.” Derick gives him a smile. “Sorry we didn’t think of it ourselves. We could have gotten here sooner.”

My thoughts exactly. “I’m sorry, too, Wes,” I say, and his crystal blue eyes meet mine.

“It’s not your fault,” he replies. “It’s mine. I should have parked it in the garage if I was leaving the top down. I just completely forgot yesterday when we were bringing the groceries in.”

“Actually it’s Dad’s fault,” Derick says. “There’s no room in the garage anyway. I’ve been telling him for ages he needs to get rid of some of those sex toys.”

We all start laughing and he continues to lighten the mood. “You know, deflate the blow up dolls. But it’s the same response every time. ‘Who has time to inflate them when you’re horny’?”

We’re laughing harder now and I’m gripping my stomach. Wes has tears in his eyes and Macy snorts, but finally we pull ourselves together and get back to work.

We keep using the towels until we can’t anymore, and then we head inside. We got a decent amount of water up, but it’s still really wet and I know Wes is stressed. While he’s showering and changing into dry clothes, I look at my phone. According to the weather app it’ll be another twenty five minutes or so before it lets up and then we’ll have a couple of hours before it’s back again, and it’ll be like that til late afternoon.

“What are you doing?” Wes asks, coming back out to the living room. He’s wearing black leggings and an oversized knitted sweater that looks absolutely adorable on him. It’s beige, and the sleeves are long enough they cover his hands even though he has them rolled up. The sweater itself reaches his thighs.

I don’t answer him right away because I’m too busy swallowing my tongue. Fuck, I want to pick him up and cradle him in my arms. He looks fucking delectable, and so cozy. I want those legs wrapped around me and those hands on my face. I want those fingers running through my hair and those lips⁠—

“Coop,” he says, and I blink.

“Huh?”

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, um, trying to figure out how to dry out your car. I think we’ll have to wait til the rain stops if we can’t get it into the garage and then use a shop vac, or fans, or both.”

He nods. “I’ll have to go get them. I don’t think we have either of those here.”

“Well, I can take care of that,” I say. I reach over and tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. He moves his fingers up to touch it, haphazardly, and then wraps his arms around himself.

“Thanks for helping.” His gaze flits to mine and then to the floor. “You didn’t have to do that.”

I narrow my eyes. “Of course I did. What kind of a dick would let you deal with that on your own?”

He just shrugs. “I think I’m gonna make some tea. Do you want any?”

“No thanks,” I say. “I’m gonna get a shower.”

When I come back out, my mom is standing in the kitchen with Wesley, sipping on some tea. Derick and Macy are watching an old black and white movie on tv, and I’m not sure where Greg and Christine are. I assume they are in their room since the door is shut.

I take a seat on the love seat and a moment later Wesley joins me. He curls up in a ball, his knees pressed to his chest. I glance at Derick and Macy. Macy has her head on her husband’s lap and his fingers are running idly through her hair.

I look at Wesley and I’m overcome with the desire to hold him. My heart starts beating more erratically, and suddenly I can't take it anymore. We’re supposed to be dating. It’s my job to show him affection, right? So, damn it, that’s what I’m going to do. This might be the last time I get the chance.

I scoot closer to him and wrap my arms around his small frame, pulling him into my lap, and he gasps, his arms sliding around my neck as he straddles me.

“Shit,” he says breathlessly, staring at me. “Coop.”

“Hey,” I say, and press a kiss to his cheek. “You were too far away.” He swallows, and I can see his pupils dilating, his chest rising and falling through his sweater. Then he does something that floors me. He buries his nose in my neck and nuzzles me. And fuck, my whole body lights up. I inhale, my dick twitching like crazy in my sweats, and I have to hold back a groan. I grip his hips and pull him away slightly. “Stay.” I look into his eyes, my heart hammering in my chest. And he does. He situates himself on my lap so that his head is resting on my shoulder and his ass is on my thighs, and I hold him, my arms wrapped around him and my fingers combing through his hair. And I tell myself to soak this moment in, to remember it. Because I have no idea when or if I’ll ever get something like this with him again.

When the movie ends, the rain has let up and we head out to get what we need for Wesley’s car. We use the shop vac to get any excess water we couldn’t get with the towels and then plug the fans in and lower the top again to air it out. It’s been a lot but I think it’s going to be okay. We just have to keep an eye on the weather and make sure we pack it all back up before the rain starts again.

“You gonna be okay?” I ask him as we stand in the driveway.

“Yeah, I think so. Not exactly what I planned on doing over vacation, but that’s okay. That’s life, right?” He turns a smile towards me and I smile back. We’re able to leave the fans outside and the car top down for a good ninety minutes before we have to put it away and the rain starts again.

We spend the rest of the afternoon playing family games and watching more movies. It’s a lazy sort of day that I love, filled with laughter and good food, and lying about. We play on our phones or read books, sharing stories, or videos that we find online. I can’t remember the last time I was this relaxed. At one point Wesley falls asleep on the sofa, and I drape a blanket over him and press a kiss to his hair, drinking in the familiar vanilla and almond scent that I’ve come to associate so fondly with him.

When evening rolls around the rain has stopped for good, so we pull the fans back out and put the top down on the Mini Cooper and leave them be. In the meantime we wipe off the patio furniture and prepare to have our dinner outside again.

It’s beautiful, and the sun is just setting, casting orange and purple hues across the expanse of the sky as we take our seats, and I’m realizing just how blessed I am to be here, with Wesley and his family, and how much I’m going to miss all of this, all of them, when our time here is over.

CHAPTER 7

WESLEY

Ugh! What am I doing? My brain and my dick are going crazy! Coop is confusing the hell out me. He’s been unbelievably sweet all day, helping with my car and taking care of me. Getting up to get me snacks and drinks, and draping that blanket over me as I dozed on the couch. And while the rest of the family was snacking on ice cream sandwiches he brought me a bowl of cookie dough ice cream instead, without even asking, because he remembered that I hate ice cream sandwiches. The sandwich part is all sticky and I hate how it feels on my fingers. He remembered that. What the hell? And when I was licking the cheesy goodness off my Doritos at lunch he just grinned at me instead of looking at me like I was a nutcase or grossing him out. I’ve eaten my Doritos like that since we were kids, and having him look at me with that fondness in his eyes – it did things to my insides. Things I don’t know how to process. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that hating him was the easier option. If I hate him it lessens the pain. Loving him still, hurts even more. It sharpens everything. Wanting him still, admitting that I’m still in love with him, after everything, causes such an intense ache it feels like an anvil is sitting on top of my chest. Like my heart is being gripped in a vice. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he’s just being a damn good actor still or if the looks he’s giving me and the way he’s touching me are genuine. But how could they be? If he really wanted more from me, he never would have ended things with us to begin with.

I shiver as I sit on the steps out back, wrapping my arms around myself. And what was that cuddling session about? Fuck me sideways. I can’t stop thinking about that. Being pulled into those strong arms, straddling him, nuzzling him, hearing his breath hitch. Fuck, I was so glad I’d been wearing this giant sweater that had hidden my hard on. He’d taken me totally by surprise, and part of me had wanted to squirm away. But I couldn’t. Especially not after he looked at me the way he did, held me the way he did, and talked to me the way he did. Fuck, I’m so helpless when it comes to him. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I have to rein in my feelings and my emotions. I have to remember that it’s not real! That’s it’s only a show for him and he’s doing it for the money. He made that clear before we came. He told me I had to make it worth his while.

Shit. I hate that a tear slides down my cheek because I don’t want to be wasting any more of my energy, or breath, or heart on him.

I startle when I hear my mother’s voice behind me and quickly wipe the tear away. “Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself?” she asks, taking a seat next to me. She’s dressed in her pajamas and has her hair in a messy bun. “It’s late. Cooper’s in bed. I was just about to lock the back door.”

“Just needed some alone time,” I say, giving her a soft smile. “I’ll be there in a minute. I can lock the door.”

She puts her arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple. Her fingers thread through my hair and it feels amazing. She’s always been a fairly tactile person. I remember when she used to read to me when I was a kid and her fingers would be playing with my curls almost the entire time. I loved it. Loved cuddling with her before bed. Especially when my dad was away for days at a time on his business trips. I needed the safety and assurance from her then. The closeness and comfort. There were even days where she slept in my bed with me until I got too old for it and grew more comfortable being alone, or I’d have sleepovers at Cooper’s house. Having my dad gone caused an intense amount of anxiety for some reason and I always slept better when I wasn’t alone. I remember being nervous about letting Cooper in on that fact, but I of course didn’t need to be. He understood better than anyone. His dad wasn’t around either, and he never minded me crawling into bed with him, even if I came over on a whim and climbed through his window.

“You okay?” Mom asks, gripping my shoulder and pulling me closer. “You’re quiet.”

“I’m okay,” I lie.

She looks at me like she’s unsure, but she doesn’t question me. Instead she says, “You know, I’ve been thinking about what a journey you and Cooper have been on. You guys really have been through a lot together. You remember when you two met?”

I smile a little as I think back to that day. Cooper and his mom had moved in across the street from our house when I was just eight years old. I had been staring out of my upstairs bedroom window at the giant moving truck, watching as all the boxes and heavy furniture got unloaded, wondering who my new neighbors would be. I’d seen Cooper out in his front yard, playing with a toy airplane, running around in black shorts, a spiderman T-shirt and red sneakers, and I’d wanted more than anything to go say hi and meet the boy that seemed about my age, wild with energy and a captivating smile. I’d always been fairly introverted and didn’t have many friends. I was more open once you got to know me, but that took a while and most people just saw me as shy and awkward and didn’t want to take the time and effort to get past that initial stage, so I spent a lot of time alone. I didn’t necessarily mind being alone, but I was lonely, and also not very good at talking to other people. So instead I’d just watched, taken in by Cooper’s confidence and charisma as he interacted every so often with the men unloading the truck, as if he were an adult and not an eight-year-old boy.

I’d had a grin on my face as I watched him, utterly mesmerized by his wild hair, dark eyes, and pink cheeks. He’d captivated me, and I couldn’t figure out why, but I didn’t care. I was content to just watch him. But Cooper had seen me from his front yard that day, and even though I had been utterly mortified and embarrassed when he’d caught me spying, Cooper had just given me the biggest grin and waved at me, and then started shouting from across the street. That embarrassed me all the more because I hated drawing attention to myself, but he’d continued shouting, and when I hadn’t been able to hear him I’d given up and opened my window.

“What?” I’d shouted back.

“What’s your name?” Cooper had yelled, his hands framing his mouth.

“Wesley!” I’d answered, but it hadn’t been loud enough, and Cooper had asked me again, shouting even louder this time. I’d felt my cheeks and neck heat, almost sure that everyone in the neighborhood could hear and was staring. I was tempted to shut my window and hide but I just couldn’t bring myself to. Partly because I knew it would be rude, but partly because I wanted to interact with him more than I’d wanted anything before in my entire life. There was something about him that made me want to be brave.

“Wesley!” I’d shouted even louder; louder than I’d probably shouted in my entire life; and Cooper had beamed, causing me to smile widely as well.

“I’m Cooper!” he’d shouted back. “Wanna come play?”

I’d been so scared Cooper wouldn’t like me, that I’d been tempted to say no, but there had been something in his smile, the look in his eyes, that was so genuine and so kind, that it had gotten me off my window seat and out of my room, and Cooper and I had played for hours in his front yard. I’d learned a lot about airplanes, and Cooper that day, and every day after. I’d learned that they had moved to our neighborhood from a few towns over, that his favorite color was red, and that his dad had left when he was only five years old. I remembered how sad he’d looked when I’d asked him where his dad was, and how bad I had felt about asking after he told me, his dark eyes losing their brightness and warmth. My heart had hurt for him in that moment because I had known a little bit about what it was like to not have my dad around. I couldn’t have imagined him leaving for good. But I had known he loved me, and I think that had made all the difference. Cooper hadn’t known that, and it broke my heart, even then.

“I’m sorry,” I’d said, and he had given me a soft smile and shrugged. I had known even then that it bothered him more than he was letting on. His smile had grown wider and more genuine when I had added, “You can share my dad. He’s great.”

I’d learned pretty quickly how much Cooper liked to talk, but I hadn’t minded. I’d never been much of a talker, and I had found that I rather liked the sound of Cooper’s voice. It was calm and soothing. And the sound of his laughter had driven away my anxiety. I could have listened to it for hours. It wasn’t long after that before our parents met each other and we started having sleep overs at each other’s houses. My parents would watch Cooper quite a bit if Cooper’s mom had to work and he wasn’t at school. We were inseparable.

“Yeah,” I say, the memories crashing into me like a wave. I have to fight back more tears because she wouldn’t understand them. Not when I’m supposed to be so happy right now. I feel so foolish as she smiles and squeezes me again, and so guilty for letting her think I’m so happy when I’m completely miserable. She’s never been anything but good to me and I’m setting her up for heartbreak again because I couldn’t tell her the truth, and I’m putting myself through this hell. What am I doing? My whole family is going to hate me when they find out. Why did I think this was a good idea?

I’m about to give up on it all and tell her the truth when she hits me with, “You know, I think you and Cooper being together is the best gift you could have given Natalie. Knowing he has you and that he won’t be alone when she’s gone, I’m sure it makes things a little easier for her. And seeing you two so happy together, it really is wonderful, Wes. We’re all so happy for you.”

Well, shit.

COOPER

I wake up to the sun shining through the sheer bedroom curtains. I blink and rub my eyes as I yawn. I start to stretch when a warm weight presses against me and I turn to see Wesley snuggled up against my back. He’s still asleep. At least I assume he is. His eyes are closed and I’m pretty sure there’s no way in hell he’d be this close to me if he were conscious. He’d be even more mortified if he knew his cock was hard and pressed up against my ass. Shit. I should probably get up. But, damn it, I don’t want to. He feels so good. I can feel his warm breath on my neck and hear his snores as his small body curls into mine. I want to turn over and spoon him but I know that would end badly. Instead I lay there, letting myself enjoy the feel of him for just a moment longer before I slide out of bed and pull the blanket over him.

I know we’re planning on eating breakfast out today and then spending a good portion of the afternoon on the beach, so I head for the shower. Fuck, just thinking of Wesley is making me hard, and I can’t stop myself from taking my cock in hand and giving it a tug while the water cascades over me. It doesn’t take long at all before I’m fully erect and my cock is leaking precum. Fuck, I’m horny. I can’t get thoughts of Wesley out of my head, and I don’t want to. I think of his lithe body. That swimmer’s build that’s so goddamn gorgeous. His tight, round little ass, and his gorgeous curls, and the way it felt to hold him yesterday. I think of his lips brushing against my neck and imagine our cocks pressed together. Shit, the image is so hot, I’m moaning as I stroke myself faster and harder. I bite my lip to keep myself quiet. I’m so hard it hurts. My dick is throbbing with the need for him. I want to get my cock in his ass and hear him beg for me, tell me how much he wants me to fill him with my spunk.

Fuck, I’m gone. I clench my jaw and groan as my release covers my hand and the shower wall, and god does it feel good. I’m breathing hard, panting, my other hand resting on the wall for a second as I come down from my post orgasm high. Fuck, my legs feel like jello. I haven’t come that hard in a very long time. I shake with the aftershocks for a moment, breathing in and out, before I finally rinse myself off and wash.

When I get back to the bedroom Wesley is still asleep, so I dress and then pad over to the bed to wake him. It’s almost nine and I know everyone else is awake and waiting. They’ll want to get moving soon.

“Hey, sweetheart.” I run my fingers through his mussed up hair. “Rise and shine.”

He groans and pulls the blankets up over his head. I chuckle. Wesley never was a morning person.

“Come on, baby, we’re gonna go get breakfast, remember? Time for you to get a shower.”

He mumbles something unintelligible from under the covers. “What was that?” I say, pulling them away from his face. He opens one eye, his face scrunched up adorably.

“Go without me,” he grumbles. “I’m not hungry.”

“Nope,” I say, and then I reach under the covers and scoop him into my arms. He gasps and flails, making me almost drop him, but I grip him tightly and hold him to my chest, his arms coming around my neck.

“Put me down,” he orders, his eyes wide, his breathing heavy. He seems flustered, which is odd. I’d thought he’d be more pissed.

“You gonna do as you’re told and get ready?” I ask, smirking at him.

He glares at me. “You know you aren’t the boss of me?” I grin, then press a kiss to his cheek and set him on his feet. He stares at me for a moment and I wish I knew what he was thinking because the look on his face seems to be one of utter confusion.

“Rise and shine,” I say as I head for the door.

He grumbles and starts rummaging through the dresser. I chuckle as I close the door behind me.

We go to a local mom and pop place for breakfast and it’s delicious. I don’t think I’ve had waffles this good in my entire life and I inhale them. The coffee is amazing too.

We lay on the beach for a while afterwards, soaking up the sun. Since it’s January in Florida it’s a little too chilly to be in the water, at least for me. I’m not much for jumping in the waves as much as I am for looking at them, so I just sit back and relax, dressed in a tank and shorts. Wesley is part fish so he spends a good amount of time in the waves, swimming and surfing, and I just watch him and smile. He’s incredible out there. And it’s been too long since I got to ogle him in a wetsuit. It’s a good thing I jerked off this morning, or I’d be sporting a very good sized boner right about now. As it is my cock is twitching at the sight of his slender body and his wet curls, and the way he holds himself on his surfboard, the wetsuit clinging to him, showing off his perfect ass and those gorgeous thighs.

Derick is out there with him and he’s pretty good, too. They grew up together doing this. Them and their sister, April. It was never my thing but I always enjoyed watching them.

“Enjoying yourself?” Macy asks, plopping down next to me and taking a bite out of a big red apple. She’s dressed in jeans and a tank top. Her long brown hair is in a braid and she’s got a sunhat perched on top of her head. Apparently she’s more level-headed like me and doesn’t plan on freezing her nubs off in the water either.

“Yeah,” I say, giving her a smile. “You?”

She nods. “They’re fun to watch, huh?” she says, motioning to Wes and Derick.

“Yeah,” I say. “Not your thing?”

“Let’s just say I’ll go surfing the day Derick gets a tattoo,” she says with a grin, and I chuckle.

“You and Wes make a cute couple, you know?” she says, and I almost flinch. Then she speaks again and I have to pretend to cough in order to hide my scoff. “I can see how much you care about each other.” I know how I feel about Wesley, but him having feelings for me? Yeah, no. I guess he’s just been putting on a really good show. It makes me a little sick, honestly, to think of how we’re lying to everyone on this trip. More than a little sick really, if I think about it too much. So I try not to. “You guys have known each other since you were kids?”

“Yeah,” I reply. “Since we were eight. We grew up across the street from each other.”

“Ahh, that’s so adorable. And you were friends for a long time before you started dating?”

I smile. “Yeah. I was the jock. He was the music nerd and on the swim team. We were inseparable. Even when we didn’t have the same classes we’d hang out every day after school. I remember us begging our parents to get us phones so we could communicate with each other during the day. They told us no phones until junior high but I nagged my mom incessantly. I missed Wes like crazy if even a day went by where I didn’t get to see him. It was realizing that I had feelings for him that weren’t strictly platonic that made me realize I was gay.”

Macy smiles at me. “That sounds like the perfect love story,” she says, and I wish it were. But love stories have happy endings, and ours doesn’t. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you want it to, or think it should when you are young.

I sigh as I look at Wesley and think back to when I’d realized I liked him as more than a friend. It had hit me like a Mac truck. And the thing was, it hadn’t scared me at all. I’d just run with it. Because he made me happy. More than anyone or anything in the world.

COOPER - 12 YEARS AGO

I close my algebra textbook and sigh. Finally. I don’t mind math but I feel like I’ve been swamped with homework lately, and between that and football I’ve hardly seen Wes, and I miss him like crazy. We only have one class together this semester and sitting next to each other and not being able to talk isn’t exactly the same thing as hanging out. It’s nine o’clock but I have to see him. He has a swim meet this weekend so I won’t get to hang out with him for a while if I don’t see him tonight.

I don’t bother texting him because I’m coming over whether he wants me to or not. I just head downstairs and slide my shoes on, then let my mom know I’ll be back in an hour and head across the street to the two-story, white Spanish-style home. I let myself in and head up the stairs to Wes’ room. The door is slightly open and I can hear him strumming on his guitar. A smile splits my face as I peek my head in and see him sitting on the floor with his back to the bed. He’s dressed in a white tank top, his purple boxers with pink hippos on them that I’ve seen dozens of times and always make me laugh, and socks. Then he starts to sing, and my chest tightens, because his voice is incredible and he looks so stinking cute. I’m pretty sure I’m in love.

Fuck. My heart stutters and I rub my chest.

I knock on his door softly and his eyes shoot open. I chuckle slightly as he gasps. “Sorry,” I say. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.” He swallows. “I didn’t know you were there.” When he runs his fingers through his blonde curls and his cheeks flush, I go from pretty sure, to certain. I’m definitely in love. With my best friend. And if the way he’s reacting to my impromptu visit is anything to go by, I’m thinking he might feel the same way about me.

“You sounded good,” I say, sitting next to him, as close as I can, our legs brushing up against each other. I wish I was wearing shorts so I could feel his skin against mine, but no, I had to be a dumbass and put on jeans today. He doesn’t move away and I catch his cheeks reddening even more. My heart starts to beat faster, and when I catch the scent of him fresh out of the shower and a shiver races down my spine, I know Wes is more to me than just my best friend. Only thing is, I don’t know what to do about it.

“Wanna stay over?” he asks, turning his head to look at me, and I find myself glancing at his lips. Fuck. I want to kiss him. But I don’t. It’s too soon. I don’t want to scare him off or make assumptions. I need to take things slow. Especially if he’s going away for the weekend. Now’s not the time.

“Sure.”

“I have to leave kinda early tomorrow for the competition,” he says, frowning. “But we can stay up for a little bit longer. Wanna watch a movie or something?”

I nod and we decide on Iron Man, setting it up on his laptop and climbing onto his bed. I text my mom to let her know I’m staying over. We get about half way through before he starts to nod off, so I stop it and set the laptop aside. We brush our teeth. I use a spare toothbrush from the stash they have for guests, and then I strip down to my boxers before we climb into bed. And for some reason, probably because I’ve realized my feelings for him, lying in bed together, both of us in our underwear, is so much more intimate than it has ever been before, and my heart starts to speed up again.

“Coop?” Wesley says, rolling over to lay on his side, looking at me, his incredible blue eyes gazing into mine.

“Yeah?” I try to stay calm. I’m so afraid I’ll throw myself at him, but I don’t. I have more self-control than that.

“Text me while I’m gone? I’m gonna miss you.”

I smile and my heart stutters like crazy, my stomach doing flips. “Sure.” I’d be going with him to cheer him on, but my uncle is coming into town for the weekend and I only get to see him a couple of times a year. I don’t want to miss him. He’s my favorite relative and we always have fun together. I reach over and ruffle Wes’s hair because it’s the closest to touching him that I can get away with. “You’ll be great.”

Then he surprises me by taking my hand in his, and holding it between us. He doesn’t let go as he closes his eyes and falls asleep, and I can’t breathe. The feel of his hand in mine. Holy shit. It takes me forever to fall asleep that night. And when I wake up, he’s pressed up against me, his head on my chest, and his arm draped across my torso. And yeah, I’m most definitely in love. And when he gets back, we are so doing something about it.

WESLEY - PRESENT DAY

I’m so glad the sun came out today and we were able to catch some waves. Nothing calls to me like the ocean does. After Cooper and I broke up all those years ago it was the thing that kept me sane. That and my music. I can’t even count the number of days I spent out here surfing and playing my guitar, trying to mend my shattered heart. Of course, I know now, it’s still missing pieces. And he’s holding them. Still, I try to push that aside as I spend time with my family. Although Cooper’s lingering gazes and sweet smiles don’t help. Nor do his soft touches, or his tender kisses.

Natalie was able to join us for a while on the beach, but she did have to lie down for a good portion of the afternoon. It breaks my heart to see her so worn out and tired. I’ve always remembered her with so much life and spirit when I was in her home. Even as a single mom she radiated energy and exuberance. She was positive, lively, and always wore a smile. And she loved Cooper so much, always putting him first. Even if there were days where she couldn’t be there for his football games or basketball games she would try to find a way to make it up to him, and she would ask him about them afterwards every time. She worked hard to give them a good life after her husband left, and she never complained.

She’s up again for dinner, which is amazing. My dad grills steaks, hot dogs and cheeseburgers, and we have chips, watermelon, and my mom’s homemade potato salad (which she’s practically famous for. Seriously, it’s won contests). There’s iced tea, lemonade and beer to drink and once again we enjoy our meal under the stars. This time, though, we move to the paved area of the back yard where there is a large black patio table and chairs and a white picket fence surrounding the property.

When the meal is over, the music starts. Dad takes Mom’s hand and asks her to dance. She smiles as he brings her into his arms. Shortly after that Derick asks Macy to dance. And now my heart rate is picking up and all the calm I’d felt after spending the day on the beach vanishes, because I know what’s next, and I am not prepared for it. I can’t let Cooper hold me so close. I’m not strong enough.

“You two should go dance,” Natalie says to Cooper and me, and I realize I have an out.

“Why don’t you two dance?” I say, giving her a smile. Cooper smiles at me, so I think he sees it as the sweet gesture I mean for it to come across as and not as the panic stricken one it actually is.

“You up for it, Mom?” he asks, turning to her.

“Okay,” she says, smiling. They dance for a short while before she bids us all goodnight. She plants a kiss on Cooper’s cheek before heading inside. And then he’s back at my side, holding out his hand.

“Dance with me,” he says, his voice rough and deep, yet soft, his brown eyes glowing in the moonlight. My heart is pounding and I’m pretty sure I’m going to shit myself, but I stand and take his hand. I can’t stop myself. I think my legs are wobbling as he pulls me closer to him and I have to remember how to breathe. He feels so fucking good, and he’s staring down at me, our bodies pressed so close I can feel every goddamn glorious inch of him, his warm breath on my face, smelling of beer and watermelon. The scent of the ocean clings to his shirt. The roughness of his stubble brushes against my forehead as I tuck my head against his chest. It’s intoxicating, and terrifying. This feels too dangerous. I can’t risk getting hurt again, and this, the way he’s holding me, the way his cheek rests on the top of my head, and his hand presses against my back, his other hand gripping mine, it’s too real. Too perfect. Too good.

To my horror, tears sting at the corners of my eyes, and I can’t wipe them away because my hands are occupied.

“Wes,” Cooper’s voice is soft. “Relax.”

“I can’t,” I say, pulling away from him, my chest heaving. He grips my chin as the tears slide down my cheeks.

“Shit, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” I’m crying even more because the tone in his voice sounds so genuine. And I hate it. I want all of this to be real. I want his words to be real, his touch to be genuine, his kisses to be heartfelt. I want him. And I want him to want me. Goddamn it, I want us. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. But it’s not real. And my heart physically hurts. “Wes?” he says, when I don’t respond, and he reaches up to wipe away my tears. Fuck, why does it feel so real? “Tell me what’s wrong, baby.”

I shake my head. “Nothing. I’m fine. I...I think I’m just tired. I’m going to go to bed.”

Cooper frowns. “Okay.” He places a kiss on my forehead. “Goodnight.”

I make my way inside and change into my pajamas before crawling into bed and tucking my hands under my pillow. More tears come. My stomach tightens, and my shoulders shake as I sob.

I find myself pulling out my phone and texting Riley.

Me: You were right. I should have just told my mom the truth. It isn’t worth this.

Riley: Oh, honey, what’s wrong?

Me: Pretending to date Cooper was the worst fucking idea on the planet. Why did you let me do this?

Riley: I’m sorry sweetie. Honestly I thought it might work. Is he driving you crazy? Please tell me he’s still alive.

Me: Ugh, yes, he’s still alive, but I’m miserable.

Riley: Why?

Me: Because he's confusing me.

Riley: ???

Me: He’s being all sweet, and charming, and he remembers things about me that he has no right remembering, and the way he’s touching me. It’s messing with my head.

Next thing I know my phone is ringing.

“What?” I say, when I answer, sniffling and wiping tears from my eyes.

“What’s the matter, babe? Talk to me.”

“I don’t know, Riley. I keep thinking that maybe he actually cares for me, but then I remind myself that if he did he never would have broken up with me in the first place. I’m hurt and angry, but I’m finding myself falling for him all over again. I don’t think...”

“You never stopped loving him,” she says. I sniffle and nod even though she can’t see me. “I know. It was just easier to be angry all this time. Anger is less complicated.”

“What do I do, Riles?” I ask, sobbing again. “I can’t get my heart broken again. Not over him.”

Riley sighs. “Sweetheart, have you tried talking to him? I mean really talking to him? Sitting down and figuring out what actually happened all those years ago? Because I don't know, I just think it might help. You guys had something really good and I know you care for him still. You don’t know how he feels about you until you ask. Even if you don’t end up being best friends you could at least have some closure.”

“Can I ask you something?” I say, sniffling again and wiping tears from my eyes.

“Of course,” she says.

“Have you been talking with him during this trip, too?”

I can practically hear the grin in her voice.“A lady never tells.”

“Ugh, you are the worst friend ever,” I say, but I laugh a little.

“Worst, best, such a thin line.”

“Goodnight, Riles. I love you.”

“Love you, too, sweetie. Sweet dreams.”

I hang up, feeling a little bit better, and snuggle under the blankets. It’s not long before I doze off.

CHAPTER 8

COOPER

When I crawl into bed that night Wesley is sound asleep. He looks peaceful, and I’m grateful given how upset he’d seemed earlier. I have no idea what happened or what I might have done to make him so upset but I’d have given anything to make his tears stop, to make his hurt go away. Even now I want nothing more than to take him into my arms and hold him close. But Wesley doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want me anywhere near him unless it’s part of our “act.” But it isn’t an act for me. It never has been. And my feelings for him have only deepened. I want to protect him, to keep him safe, to hold him and kiss him, and love him. I always have.

COOPER - 12 YEARS AGO

I’m heading towards my locker after gym class when I see Wesley across the hall near his own locker. He’s honestly a little hard to spot given his height. We’re the same age, but I had a growth spurt over the summer and he didn’t, so I’m a good four inches taller than him, as are most of the guys in school to be honest. Which unfortunately means that he gets picked on a lot. Case in point, the douchebags surrounding him right now for no other reason than to torment him. They’re pulling on his clothes and his hair and grabbing things out of his backpack, tossing them to the floor. My face heats as I march over to them. No one treats my best friend that way. Even if Wes was a dick I wouldn’t tolerate it, but he’s not. He’s literally the sweetest guy on the planet, so these assholes can just bug off. I’m not a violent person but if they hurt him I won’t hesitate to respond in kind.

“Hey,” I say loudly, as I approach them, and they turn to look at me. They grin, because there’s three of them and one of me. I’m decent sized but I can’t take on all three of them and they know that. So do I, logically, but it doesn’t stop me. “Leave him alone, assholes,” I snarl, and Wes’ eyes widen.

“Coop, it’s okay,” he says. “I’m fine.” He bends down to pick up his things but I grab his arm.

“No, it’s not okay,” I say. “And you’re not gonna do that, Wes, they are. Stand up.”

Wes’ eyes widen even further, but he lets me pull him to his feet, and the three stooges stand there with dumbstruck looks on their faces.

“Go on,” I say, motioning to the mess with my head.“Pick it up.”

“No,” the biggest guy, Aaron, says. “Make me.”

I step closer to him, glowering, and growl. “Touch my friend again, and I will end you. Now pick up his stuff and hand it to him, nicely, or you will regret it. I am not afraid of you, or of getting suspended. So don’t test me, Anderson.”

Wes’ eyes are the size of saucers now, and I’m really hoping my threat is taken seriously because I do not want to have to punch this guy, but I will. My mom would kill me and I’d probably get kicked off the football team. But for Wes, it would be worth it. I do know Anderson’s family, though and they would not be cool with him getting suspended. His parents would have a fit, so him getting involved in a fight would not go well, and I’m kind of banking on that.

Aaron glowers at me, but then he bends over and grabs the things that he and his lackeys took out of Wes’ backpack and shoves them into Wes’ chest with a mock smile, almost knocking Wesley off his feet. Of course he has to get in one last jab.

“There you go, shrimp,” he says. “Next time, don’t let your boyfriend fight your battles for you.”

I sneer at him and notice out of the corner of my eye that Wesley is blushing at this idiot's boyfriend comment. We aren’t dating yet, but god I want to be soon. I just have to summon up the courage to let him know how I feel. “There won’t be a next time,” I say. “Will there?”

He narrows his eyes at me but then motions to his friends and they stalk off.

Wesley lets out a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. “Shit,” he says. “You didn’t have to do that, Coop.”

I look at him, my eyebrows furrowed. “What the hell? Of course I did,” I say. “I’m not gonna let anyone treat you like that. You’re my best friend.”

He gives me a sheepish smile. “Thanks,” he says. “But please don’t get suspended. Especially not for me.”

“You are the best reason to get suspended.” I give him a smile and drape my arm over his shoulders, “shrimp,” I add with a grin, as we walk to our next class together.

He elbows me in the ribs playfully, and I swear I’ll do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to keep this guy protected.

WESLEY - PRESENT DAY

Cooper’s not in bed when I wake up. I’m grateful they let me sleep in because I needed it. I pick up my phone on the nightstand and see that it’s 10am already, and that I have a text message from Riley.

Riley: Morning handsome. Hope you slept well. Have a beautiful day...talk to him.

I groan and rub my hand over my face. As much as I want to do that it sounds equally terrifying and exhausting. Besides, I’m not sure it would do any good. And what if it just makes me feel worse? I’m not even sure what I’d say.

I sigh, pulling the covers back and climbing out of bed. I head out to the kitchen and grab myself a cup of coffee. Derick and Macy are sitting on the sofa looking at their phones. I don’t see Cooper.

“Finally,” Macy says, looking up and setting her phone aside on the couch. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.” She beams at me and holds up her hands, wiggling her fingers. “Wanna do your nails?”

I grin. “Um, yes.”

She makes her way down the hall and comes back with a case full of different colored nail polishes and places it on the coffee table. “Come on,” she says, patting the floor next to her where she sits with her legs out in front of her.

“Let me finish my coffee and I’ll join you,” I say with a smile. She starts picking up different bottles to find the color she wants.

The sound of a door clicking shut behind me grabs my attention and I turn to see Cooper coming down the hall. He’s dressed in jeans and a navy T-shirt that clings to his muscular frame, and he has an additional piercing in his right ear today. God, is it hot in here?

“Hey,” he says, trying for a smile, but I can see it’s forced. Then I realize he was shutting the door to his mom’s room.

“Is she okay?” I ask.

He shrugs. “She’s in pain, and extra tired. Not much we can do. She’s got her meds. She’s gonna be resting for a while, I think.” He pauses for a second, shoving his hands in his pockets, then asks, “You okay?”

I blink.

“Last night,” he says, lowering his voice.

“Oh,” I say, my cheeks heating. “Yeah, no, I’m fine. It was just a long day, I guess.” I take another sip of my coffee. It’s almost gone.

He nods, and my gaze moves back to Macy and the nail polish.

“You gonna do your nails?” he asks, and he’s smiling.

My cheeks heat again and I nod.

“I’ll do your toes if you want,” he volunteers, and I swallow, and stare at him. Fuck a duck, why does he have to be so damn sweet? He used to paint my toes for me all the time when we were dating because I fucking sucked at it, but I loved having them done. I haven’t done them myself in ages so they’ve just remained untouched, and I hate it. I feel naked without it.

“Um, sure, yeah, that’d be nice,” I say. He smiles and kisses my temple and I can smell the spearmint toothpaste on his breath.

I finish my coffee and plop myself down across from Macy. She practically squeals with delight. She gets even more excited when I show her the bright pink color I’ve selected. It’s even more awesome because it’s got glitter in it, which is the bomb. What can I say, I love to sparkle.

I shake the bottle a little and start to pull out the brush when Cooper stops me.

“Can I?” he says. I swallow again. Shit, the way he’s looking at me is making it hard to breathe again. I nod and shift my gaze away from his. For a guy with such big hands, he’s insanely good at this. His hands are steady and sure and he does such a good job that I think maybe he should be a professional manicurist. The thought makes me giggle a little and he looks at me, raising an eyebrow and pursing his lips, which is no good, because that just makes me want to kiss him, and he’s already holding my hand so delicately as he finishes off with my pinky finger.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothing,” I say. It comes out as a whisper even though I don’t mean for it to. His eyes narrow, because he knows better, but he doesn’t press me. Then he switches hands. I look at them when he’s done. They’re bright and sparkly, and absolutely perfect, and I love them. I sit with my knees bent as he lays on his stomach and works on my toes. I can’t help my eyes wandering to the swell of his ass. It’s the perfect view.

Derick catches my gaze and chuckles. I shrug, grinning. Cooper is none the wiser.

After lunch we head back out to the beach for a couple of hours. Then I pass out on the porch swing for a bit, and when I wake up it’s time for dinner.

“So what are your guys’ plans for the evening?” Mom asks as we eat. Cooper has inhaled his food once again so he’s already finished.

“I’m gonna grab a quick shower,” I say, shoving some green beans in my mouth. I feel grimy from the salt water and sand, and I want to clean up before bed. “Then maybe watch a movie.”

Cooper leans back in his chair and stretches his arms out. “I could use a shower, too,” he says. “The movie idea sounds good to me.”

Macy smiles. “You two can always shower together. Conserve water and all that.” There’s a twinkle in her eyes, but my stomach is in knots now.

“Sounds good to me,” Cooper says, looking in my direction. He winks and I almost choke on my food, because hell, no. No fucking way. If seeing Cooper half naked gets me hard, there’s no way I’m getting in the shower with him. That is a line I am not willing to cross.

“I’m still eating,” I say, trying my hardest not to glare at Cooper. What the hell is he thinking?

“I can wait,” he replies, resting his hands behind his head, smiling at me.

I frown. This isn’t a fight I’m going to win and I know it. So I finish up my dinner and stand, and Cooper and I make our way inside. He winks at everyone else as he closes the sliding glass door. I clench my jaw since I’m out of sight. The second the bathroom door is closed I’m letting it out.

“Are you out of your mind?” I whisper shout. “There is no fucking way I’m showering with you.”

“Jesus, Wes, don’t hold back,” Cooper says, holding his hands up. “Does the idea of getting close to me disgust you that much?”

I blanch. “What? No,” I shake my head. “That’s not...I didn’t.” I run a hand through my hair. “Look, it doesn’t matter. I’m just not doing it, okay?”

Cooper crosses his arms over his chest. “I wasn’t expecting you to. Relax.”

Okay, now I’m even more confused. “What?”

He unfolds his arms. “Look, we can shower separately but still be in here together. They will never know the difference but it’ll still sell this whole boyfriends thing, all right?”

“Oh,” I say, and bite my lip. “I guess that makes sense.”

“But thanks for making it abundantly clear how you feel about me,” Cooper adds. I groan and roll my eyes as he steps into the shower, tossing his clothes out a moment later. Then the water starts and I sit on the toilet, thinking about the fact that Cooper is very naked behind that curtain.

And there we go. Hello, boner. But I can’t help myself. He’s right fucking there, and I’m picturing the water sliding down all those taught muscles, that smooth skin, picturing his cock, wondering if he’s hard at all. I almost whimper, and then smack my cheek to try and snap myself out of it, but it doesn’t work. My brain and my cock are driving down the road on the same one way street right now and the name of that street is Naked Cooper.

Naked Cooper. Naked, wet Cooper. Naked, wet, gorgeous Cooper. My cock is fully hard and I glare down at it. No! Bad! Down! When did I start talking to my dick like it’s a disobedient dog? Play dead! That one seems appropriate.

But when Cooper turns off the water and my dick is still at full mast, I start to panic. It’s not exactly difficult to spy in my athletic shorts. So when he reaches for his towel and then steps out of the shower a second later with it wrapped around his waist, I bolt off the toilet and into the shower so fast that I shove him into the towel rack.

“Jesus, Wes, what the hell?” he complains.

“Fuck off, Cooper,” I reply. “This was your idea.” I know I’m being an ass but I can't help it. What am I supposed to do? Tell him I have a raging hard on for him? I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with this with him in here. It’s not like I can jerk off with him on the other side of the curtain. Fuck. I’m pressing the heel of my hand against my cock, but it’s not helping much, so instead I turn the water as cold as I can stand it and hope that that will calm me down.

“As I recall, darling,” Cooper says, the endearment laced with sarcasm, “this entire thing was your idea. I’m here because you insisted that I come.”

“Yeah, and the only reason you came is because I’m fucking paying you,” I shoot back. God, he’s pissing me off right now. On the plus side my cock is softening from him being such a prick, so I turn the water back to warm again. No sense in freezing my nubs off if I don’t have to.

“You’re a piece of work, you know that?” he says, and I can practically picture him standing there with his arms crossed over his chest as I rinse the shampoo out of my hair.

“And you’re an ass,” I retort.

“You know, I’m starting to understand why we didn’t work out.” His words are soft, but they feel like a jackhammer to my heart.

“You know what, Cooper? Blow me.” There’s more bitterness in my voice than ever before. And Riley can just forget about me talking with this jerk, because it’s not going to happen. There is nothing for us to work through or figure out. We’re better off without each other. Three more days and we’ll be home, and I can pretend none of this ever happened. I’ll wait a month or so, and then come up with some reason for us breaking up again and tell my mom. She’ll be disappointed, but what else is new? Maybe by then I’ll have worked up the courage to tell her the truth about the dates she keeps setting me up on.

“Just hurry up so we can get dressed,” Cooper says with a sigh.

I rinse off and reach out to grab my towel that’s on the hook right outside the shower. I wrap it around my waist and step outside of the tub. And that’s when I see it. The tattoo on his chest, on full display. The one I’ve been getting glimpses of but never the full picture.

My heart stops. I can’t breathe. I step closer, just to make sure I’m not going insane. But, no, it’s right there, in bold print.

My name. Followed by a heartbeat, and then a heart, with a smaller heartbeat right after.

Anger coils in my chest and stomach. “What the hell,” I say, pointing, “is that?” I’m practically shaking.

Cooper looks down, just now noticing what I’m responding to so strongly. He swallows. But I don’t give him a chance to answer.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I say, and then open the bathroom door and make my way across the hall to our room. I slide clean underwear on under my towel and then let it fall to the floor. I’m slipping into jeans when he comes in behind me.

“Wes,” is all he gets out before I turn on him.

“Save it, Coop. I need some air.” I pull a clean shirt on and then brush past him and out of the room. I slide my sandals on, grab my keys, and head out the door into the darkness. I don’t know where I’m going, but I need to be alone.

COOPER

Fuck. It’s been over an hour and Wes is still not back. And it’s been raining for a while now, too. I know he was upset, but I didn’t think he’d be gone this long, and I’m starting to worry. Where the hell is he? Sure, he grew up around here, but anything could happen to him on a night like this.

I’d told his family that he’d gone out to get me some medicine for a headache, but this is one long ass trip to the drugstore and I think they’re starting to get a tad suspicious, and maybe a little worried. But I didn’t want them to know we’d had a fight.

“Here, you can take these, since it’s taking Wes so long to get back,” Derick says, coming to stand next to me in the kitchen as I look at my phone and bite my lip. I’ve texted Wes half a dozen times and called him just as much and he won’t fucking answer me. I look over at Derick, who has his hand out with two ibuprofen in it, and a knowing smirk on his face. I sigh.

“Not answering your texts?” he says.

I shake my head.

“You still need these?” He gestures to the medicine.

I shake my head again.

“Assuming he’s not actually out getting you medicine, I’m gonna guess you two had a fight.”

I nod. “He didn’t give me a chance to explain, just booked it out of here. He was pissed.”

“Well, you wanna wait for him to come back, or go find him? It’s up to you.”

“You know where he is?” I ask. “I figured I’d be driving around forever, but I’m going crazy waiting for him to come back.”

“There’s a place a few miles out of town that he likes to head to. It’s off the road, secluded and all that, a clearing back in the woods a little ways. I’m guessing that’s where he is. He likes to park his car back there and just sit. Sometimes get out and stare at the stars.”

“How do you know about it?” I ask.

“I’ve been there with him,” Derick says with a shrug. “We’d go out there and talk sometimes, especially after you two broke up, or he’d bring his guitar out there and play, and sing.”

I swallow, and bite my lip, then nod. “Mind if I borrow your truck?”

Derick smiles, and hands me the keys.

The rain is pelting the windshield, and the windshield wipers are going at top speed. After I drive for a while I pull off right where Derick told me to, and sure enough, a second later my headlights shine right onto Wes’ car. We’re surrounded by trees and foliage but there’s plenty of space for both vehicles. I imagine it’s lovely during the day, or even at night when it’s not raining cats and dogs. I step out of the truck and into a puddle of mud. Gross.

I make my way over to his car and don’t even bother to knock. I just open the door and climb in, my wet clothes and hair dripping onto the interior. He glares at me because even though he tried to lock the door he wasn’t fast enough.

“Get out,” he says.

“No,” I reply.

“I came here to get away from you. Get out.”

“No,” I repeat. “I came here to find you, and I’m not leaving until you agree to listen to me.”

He glares harder, then shuts the car off and climbs out. The fucking bastard. It’s cold, and wet out there, and he’s traipsing through the mud and rain just to get away from me? I growl and climb out to go after him. He walks ridiculously fast for someone with shorter legs. I catch up to him and grab his arm, our skin slick from all the water, and he slides right out of my grasp. I almost stumble but manage to right myself.

“Don’t,” he says, and I can hear the quiver in his voice. I don’t know if it’s from the rain and cold or from nerves. “Don’t touch me.”

“Wes, please, just listen,” I plead as we stand out under the trees, the rain pelting us. Thunder rumbles around us and lightning splits the sky. The trees sway as the wind howls, and I’m wishing very much that I’d thought to wear a jacket as goosebumps break out on my arms.

“No!” he rages, his eyes wild, and his face flushed. Then tears are leaking from his eyes and sliding down his cheeks. He points at me as he speaks, this time more softly, but with just as much conviction. “You don’t get to break up with me, and then get my name permanently etched on your body like I actually mean something to you. Do you have any idea how messed up that is?” He pulls his hand back and runs it through his wet hair. “Jesus, Coop. What the fuck?” He looks at me, his eyes pained, before he glances away. And I can’t do anything but tell him the truth.

“You do.”

“What?” His eyes meet mine again.

“You do mean something to me.” I take a step closer to him, but he backs away, his back hitting the tree behind him. He shakes his head as more tears fall.

“Don’t say that. You can’t say that to me. Not after everything.”

“Of course I can.” I reach for him, cupping his cheek. He’s trembling even more now, his chest rising and falling heavily, the tears mixing with the rain dripping down his hair and onto his face, sliding under the collar of his shirt. He doesn’t jerk away, or tell me to back off, so I don’t. “You don’t get it, do you?” I say, stroking his cheek. “It didn’t matter that we weren’t together anymore. You were my everything. My heart has always, and will always beat for you. I have never stopped loving you, Wes. And I never will.”

Wesley stares at me for a moment and then grips my forearm and shoves my hand away. “Why are you saying this? No one’s around. You won’t get paid any more for it, you know? You don’t have to play the part right now.”

I blink, stunned. What the fuck? I just laid my heart out for this guy and this is how he responds? He thinks I’m fucking putting on a show? Still? Does he really think that’s what this whole thing has been for me? How blind can he be? “For fuck’s sake,” I snarl. “Is it actually so hard for you to believe that I fucking care about you?”

Wesley pushes himself up to his full height. I’m amazed at how intimidating he can be for a shorter guy. He takes a slight step forward as thunder rumbles around us once again. “Yes!” he shouts, pointing his finger at me once again. “Yes, it is. Because you don’t give a damn about me, and you never have!”

My breath leaves me. I feel like I’ve just been punched in the sternum. “That isn’t true,” I choke out, shaking my head.

“How the hell do you expect me to believe that?” Wesley spits. “The only person you’ve ever cared about is yourself. I gave you everything. And you tossed me aside like I didn’t matter at all. Like I was the least important thing in your life. The only reason you’re here is for the money. You made that clear from the beginning. So why the hell would I believe anything else? You’re the same selfish prick you’ve always been.”

My chest heaves slightly and tears sting my eyes. I can’t speak. Wesley is wrapping his arms around himself and has taken a step away from me before I’m able to force the words out. “You deserved better,” I say, my voice shaking. He stops, and looks at me.

“What?” His breath catches in his throat, his eyes dancing across my face.

I step closer again and take his arm. “I broke up with you because you deserved better. I loved you, Wes.” Tears fall down my cheeks as I continue to speak. God, I haven’t cried in a long time. “But loving you wasn’t enough, and I knew that. You needed more than love, and I couldn’t give it to you. You needed stability and security. I saw that when I realized how anxious and upset you got every time your dad was gone for days at a time for his job. And I knew I couldn’t provide that for you. I knew if I became a pilot my schedule would be crazy and unpredictable, and I could be gone for days at a time, too. I didn’t want to put you through that. And even though you were so supportive I could see how scared you were at the idea of me flying. I didn’t want to be the cause of more anxiety for you. And then I was so busy with my classes, and school work, and my job, that I didn’t have any time to spend with you, and it wasn’t fair to you. You deserved a boyfriend who could be there for you and give you the attention you needed, and take care of you. And then when you started backing out of our weekly date nights it was clear that you didn’t want to be with me anymore, so I gave you what you wanted.” I grip his arm tighter and take a step closer. His eyes are boring into mine. “I didn’t want to break up with you,” I tell him. “It made me sick to my stomach, because I couldn’t imagine not being with you, but I couldn’t be selfish. I couldn’t keep you stuck in a relationship that was making you miserable, and would be unhealthy for you in the long term. I had to do what was best for you.” Tears slide down my cheeks as my chest heaves. “And apparently, the very thing I was trying to avoid, was exactly what I became in your eyes.”

Wesley’s eyes are wide. His hair is a soggy mess, his clothes are soaked. His chest rises and falls slowly as he looks at me. Water droplets cling to his eyelashes and I can hear the mud sloshing under his feet as he shifts. “You...you thought I didn’t want you?” he finally says. Then he yanks his arm away from me for the second time and clenches his jaw. “Goddamn you, Cooper.” He turns away from me and tugs on his hair so hard it looks painful. He looks back at me, his gaze fierce. Then he steps forward and shoves me. “All I ever wanted was you, you asshole.”

I stumble back slightly and then meet his eyes. “But–”

“Did it ever occur to you,” he continues, stepping closer to me again, “that if I wanted to break up with you for any reason, I would have? I backed out of our date nights because you were fucking exhausted, and I could tell. And I didn’t want you to have one more thing to worry about. I wanted you to get through your classes, and rest, not fucking break up with me. I wanted to see you accomplish your dreams, not be cast aside like I didn’t matter so that you could.”

His voice softens and his gaze shifts downwards. He takes a breath and runs his fingers through his wet hair. “When you broke up with me, I thought it was because I was an inconvenience, a burden. Like your life was too full, and I was the one thing you could handle living without. And it broke me.” He looks up at me, and his voice is shaking again, his bottom lip quivering, and I hate it. I hate seeing him so wrecked. He wraps his arms around himself as the rain continues to fall, and he shivers. “I didn’t know what to do,” he says, tears falling once more. “I didn’t just lose my boyfriend that day, or my best friend. I lost both.”

“Wes.” I step closer, once again placing my hand on his cheek. He squeezes his eyes shut and then opens them again. “I never meant to hurt you.” I wipe away the tears that are sliding down his cheeks. “I never meant to make you feel like you didn’t matter, or that you were an inconvenience. Or that I was choosing becoming a pilot over being with you. I’m so sorry. Please know that. You have to know that nothing mattered to me more than you did. I only ever wanted what was best for you.”

Wesley reaches up and rests his hand on top of mine. “What was best for me was you,” he says, and my breath catches. “It’s always been you, Coop. You were my best friend. My first love, my first kiss, my first everything. I wanted to spend my life with you.”

I grip both of his cheeks in my hands, now, firmly. His hands grip my forearms. “I’ve missed you so much,” I say, staring into his incredible blue eyes, as he stares back. “You are everything to me. My feelings for you have never changed. I’ve loved you since we were fourteen. And I will love you til the day I die, no matter how you feel about me. There hasn’t been a single thing that I’ve said or done on this trip that I haven’t meant, and I would do it all over again without getting a goddamn cent from you, because I fucking love you. And I don’t want your money.” I shake my head. “I just want you. All I’ve ever wanted is you. I need you to know that.”

I stumble backwards and grunt, because suddenly, Wesley is in my arms, his legs wrapped around me, and his hands gripping my face. His lips are pressed to mine and he’s kissing me so hard it hurts. Fuck. We’re both soaked to the skin, and I’m pretty sure he weighs ten pounds more because of it, but I don’t care, because he’s fucking kissing me like I’m his air and he’s suffocating. He sucks, and nibbles, moaning and whining desperately. His fingers run through my wet hair, and god, I’m on fire. The sounds he’s making are positively sinful. I grip him tighter and kiss him back, moaning, because this is everything. This is Wesley unhinged. All of his passion, and intensity, and gusto in one amazing, earth-shattering kiss. And it’s all for me. His tongue is down my throat, and as I back us up so he’s pressed against a tree, a whimper escapes him that is so delicious it makes me shudder.

“Is this real?” Wesley says, breaking away from the kiss. His hands move along my face and shoulders almost frantically, his breath coming in heavy pants. His fingers move through my hair, his gaze lowering, and his hands following suit until his fingers are sliding down my collar bone, and my pecs, and then my abs, as if to confirm that it is in fact me that he is touching, and kissing and holding. His eyes meet mine again. “Are you real?” he says, his hands coming up to grip my cheeks. “Do I have my best friend back?” Tears fill his eyes again, and he starts to shake.

“Oh, god, yes,” I say, taking his face into my hands.“Please. If you’ll have me.”

Wesley collapses into sobs and buries his face in my chest. I hold him as he cries. The rain is letting up now. He’s shivering, but I don’t know if it’s from the cold or everything that’s going through his mind right now. All the emotions and turmoil he’s been holding onto, and dealing with for the last nine years. I rub his back as his legs stay locked around me, his arms wrapped around my neck, his face buried in my shoulder.

Eventually he lifts his head and wipes his eyes. He rubs his nose and apologizes for getting snot on my shirt. I just smile and kiss his cheek. Then I carry him back to the truck where I grab the towels I’d brought in case I needed them. Turns out it was a good idea. I use them to wipe our hair and faces off as much as possible, before I use them to wipe down the bed of the truck, him clinging to me like a koala bear the entire time. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The rain has stopped completely now. I plant a kiss on Wes’ cheek again and then set him down on the edge of the truck bed before grabbing the blankets that Derick and Macy keep inside. I lay one out over the bottom of the truck bed, and then I strip, and lay my wet clothes out over the side of the truck. Wesley stares at me but I just smirk. Yeah, I’m naked, so what? I lay down and pull the other blanket over me and wait.

I smile, when a second later Wesley is undressing, and following suit. He’s naked as the day he was born a moment later, and sliding under the blanket next to me. I don’t expect this to turn into anything other than cuddling. I don’t think I even want it to. But we’ve just had a very intense, emotional conversation and I think we need to be together, not wearing soaking wet clothes, and not surrounded by the rest of our families. This, falling asleep under the stars, in the bed of a truck, in the middle of nowhere, this is good. This is perfect.

I don’t reach for him, because I want him to come to me on his own terms. If he needs space I’ll give it to him. I won’t push. My heart leaps when he scoots close and snuggles up next to me. I wrap my arms around him as he rests his head on my chest, and I sigh contentedly.

And for the first time in a long time, I fall asleep with him in my arms.

CHAPTER 9

WESLEY - 12 YEARS EARLIER

“Hey, look, there’s another one!” Cooper points up at the night sky as we lay on the grass next to each other.

I laugh. “Dude, that’s the third one in half an hour. Are you gonna point out every single one?”

“Maybe,” he replies, nudging me.

I squirm, and laugh even more as his elbow digs into my side. “You know, most people point out shooting stars or constellations,” I say, jabbing him back playfully, “not airplanes.”

Cooper grins. “Well, I’m not most people,” he says, then winks at me. My cheeks heat and I clear my throat, turning my gaze back to the sky. Cooper’s gaze follows mine as he tucks his hands behind his head.

“Don’t you think it would be cool though? Being up in an airplane, miles above the earth, having that amazing view? Being in control of something so big and powerful?” The awe is evident in his voice.

I sit up. “Yeah,” I say, my anxiety spiking just thinking about it. I have never understood Cooper’s desire to fly, but I have never discouraged him from it either. And I never will. Not when it’s something he is so passionate about. Still, it can’t stop me from worrying. The thought of my best friend up in one of those things terrifies me. “Being stuck in a pressurized tin can, thousands of feet in the air, where a million things could go wrong, causing you to plummet to the earth and obliterate, trusting whoever is in charge to get you from point A to point B with no mishaps. Sign me up.”

Cooper laughs. “Well, if I was the pilot,” he says, pushing himself up on his elbows, “I wouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

“I would,” I mumble, picking at the grass by my bare feet.

Cooper sits up all the way now. “Are you saying you would be worried about me?” he asks, smiling as he drapes his arms across his knees. He waggles his eyebrows.

“No.” I glance back at him. But when Cooper’s eyes meet mine, my breath catches in my throat. I hadn’t realized he’d gotten so close. I swallow. “Maybe,” I say, more softly.

“You don’t have to worry about me, Wesley,” he says, stroking a finger up my bicep, and making me shiver.

“I can though,” I say. “And I’m good at it.”

Cooper chuckles softly. “You are.” His eyes meet mine again. “How long are we going to keep flirting, before we kiss each other, do you think?” he asks.

I can’t breathe, and my heart feels like it’s about to leap out of my chest. Cooper wants to kiss me. And god I want to kiss him back. I’ve wanted to kiss him for what seems like forever; years, now, but… “I’m really bad at instigating stuff,” I say, my voice slightly shaky, “so, however long it takes –”

Cooper presses his lips to mine, cutting off my words. My face is cradled in his palm as he kisses me. It’s wet, and slightly awkward as first kisses tend to be. I don’t know what to do with my hands, and I’m not quite sure what to do with my lips either. Do I close my eyes? I’m only fifteen for fuck’s sake. And this is my first kiss. But it’s Cooper. And that makes it wonderful. I rest my hand on his cheek, and closing my eyes, I kiss him back, my lips brushing against his gently.

“In case you can’t tell,” Cooper says, pulling away. “I like you. I mean, like, as more than friends.”

I chuckle and feel my cheeks heating. “Yeah, I got that,” I say. “I like you, too.” I brush his nose with mine, smiling like an idiot. Cooper beams and kisses me again, and this time it’s even better. It’s a bit more intense, and his fingers run through my hair. God, I could get used to this.

We kiss for a moment longer, before he pulls me down with him so that we’re resting on our backs once more. Except this time, I’m in his arms as we look back up at the stars, and it’s perfect.

“You really want to be up there, don’t you?” I say.

“Yeah,” he says. “I really do.”

And even though it scares the ever-loving shit out of me I say, “Then how do we make it happen?” Cooper turns to look at me.

“We?” he asks.

“Sure,” I say, looking into his deep brown eyes. “It’s your dream. I want to help you reach it in whatever way I can.”

Cooper’s smile lights up his entire face. “I knew I picked the right boyfriend,” he says, hugging me close to him.

I blush. “Is that what we are?”

“I’d like us to be,” he says. “We’ve been doing this best friends thing long enough, don’t you think? And I really like kissing you.” He grins.

I laugh and smack him. But then I press a kiss to his lips, and he hums happily, stroking my cheek. “I like kissing you, too.” I’m smiling so wide my cheeks hurt, but I don’t want to stop.

Cooper kisses me again and gets mostly teeth because I really can’t stop smiling, but that just makes him smile more, and laugh. I nuzzle his neck as we hold each other and laugh together, both so deliriously happy.

“So, really, how does this work? The whole flying thing?” I ask, once the laughter has died down. He presses a kiss to my head, and the sound of him drinking in the scent of my shampoo has me smiling again.

“Well, I can get my private license when I’m seventeen. I’d like to do that. It’ll mean training, classes, test flights, and certification, and getting a job to pay for everything which will mean being pretty busy for a while, but I’m okay with that. Then I can get my commercial license when I’m eighteen. But most airlines won’t hire you until you are twenty-one, so not a huge rush on that. Even then a lot of airlines prefer that you have a college degree in something related to aeronautics. It’s not a requirement but it helps your chances of getting hired so it’s a good idea, and it’s something I’d enjoy anyway.”

I smile. “You are such a nerd.”

“I’m your nerd,” he replies, and pecks my nose. Then his voice turns serious as he looks me in the eyes. “I don’t want to keep us a secret, Wes. I don’t want to hide what we are. Not from our families, our friends. Not anyone. You’re too big a deal for me to do that.”

I swallow. I’m not worried about our parents, or my brother and sister. Honestly, I’m pretty sure they’ll have seen this coming, and they’ll be happy for us, but school is scarier. Still, I don’t want to keep Coop a secret, either. I want to hold his hand, and steal kisses with him. I want to cheer him on at his football games and have him cheer me on at my swim meets, with people knowing he’s my boyfriend. I love that that’s who he is to me, and I don’t want to hide it, like it’s some dirty little secret. I shouldn’t have to hide it. And with our families backing us up, and Riley, I’m hopeful it’ll be easier. This is something we’re going to have to deal with our entire lives. Prejudice, ignorance, and hatred. I hate that, but I can’t change it. All I can do is face it, with Cooper by my side.

I nod. “I want that, too.”

Cooper smiles and kisses me. And we lay there, under the stars, kissing again, and again, and again.

WESLEY - PRESENT DAY

I trace my fingers over Cooper’s chest as I lay with my head resting against it still. I’d woken up this way, and I’m in no hurry to move. After everything, and after last night, I’d stop time if I could, and stay like this with Cooper forever. Even with the storm it was the best night's sleep I’d had in a long time.

“Hey,” I hear Cooper’s gruff voice from above me, and I smile slightly. His voice is even sexier in the morning when he’s still waking up. Gentle fingers stroke my arm, and soft lips press against my hair. “Morning, beautiful.”

“Morning,” I say, blushing. It feels wonderful to hear Cooper say those words, and to know that he truly means them.

I lift my head and press my lips to his in a soft kiss as he runs his fingers through my hair.

My cock is hard, and I don’t try to hide it as I press myself against him and nibble on his jaw. He chuckles. I drape my leg over his, my knee pressing into his balls.

He closes his eyes. “God, that feels good.” His chuckles turn into moans as I work my way up to his ear, nibbling and sucking on his lobe. He groans and my cock twitches against his thigh. “Fuck, Wes.” His voice is raspy. He grips my face and pushes me away, staring into my eyes. “Baby, please, I don’t want you to do anything you’re going to regret. And if you keep that up, I’m going to come, probably without you even touching me. I’m so fucking hard right now.”

I smile and push myself up a little, rutting against him, and he growls, his eyes closing again. “Wes,” he moans, bucking his hips, and then I go for the gold. I wrap my hand around his gorgeous, thick cock. Fuck, it’s been way too long since I had my hand on him. It feels so good. So perfect. Warm, and slick, with precum already dripping down the sides. The head is red and angry, and it twitches in my hand as I grasp it and begin to stroke. He writhes underneath me, and I come alive, watching as he falls apart at my touch. Fuck, I’d forgotten how incredible it is to be the one to pleasure him. The way he moves, the sounds he makes, the look on his face. The way he bites his lip to keep from being too loud. His abdominal muscles tense, his thighs trembling, his chest rising and falling. All for me. God, I love sex. And I love him.

“Wes,” he cries, on a gasp. “Baby, I’m so close. I can’t. I...it’s been so long.”

I smile at that. Then I lean over and kiss him, as I continue to stroke him, drawing even more desperate, needy sounds out of him. My cock aches for release, but right now I’m focused on him. “Come for me, Cooper,” I whisper, nuzzling his neck. “Let me hear you, baby. Don’t hold back.”

“Shit!” he cries, “Wesley!” His back arches and he’s spraying all over me, covering my hand in his cum as he trembles violently. He takes my face in his hands and kisses me as his body works through the aftershocks of his orgasm, spasming, and jerking, and then he’s holding me to him as he breathes heavily. “Fucking hell,” he says. “I think you killed me.”

I laugh. But then I’m rutting against him again because, yeah, I’m still hard.

He chuckles. “Is there something you need?” I wipe his cum next to me on the blanket.

“I mean, if you wouldn’t mind.” I sit up and straddle him, my cock standing at attention between us, leaking as his hands grip my hips.

“Hmm,” he says, eyeing it, and licking his lips. “It is pretty.”

I smile. “Wanna see if it tastes as good as it looks?” I push myself up on my knees, placing my hands on either side of his head.

His eyes meet mine, his pupils blown wide. “God, yes. Fuck my mouth, Wes. Let me swallow your cum.”

I do. And he does.

“You okay?” Cooper asks, as I lay on top of him afterwards. He has one hand combing through my hair and the other stroking down my side. The air smells of sex and sweat, dirt and rain. It’s getting warmer, and my back is starting to ache from sleeping on the hard truck bed. We should get up, get dressed. Go home. But I can’t bring myself to move. I can’t get over the feel of being in Cooper’s arms, pressed so close to him, the softness of his skin underneath me, the feel of his hands on my bare skin. “I’m still afraid I’ll wake up and find this is all a dream,” he says.

I smile and lift my face to look at him. He reaches over and cups my cheek. “It’s okay if you’re still upset, Wes. I imagine it will take more than one night of talking to make sense of everything. I know I hurt you deeply. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. But I do love you. So much.”

I rest my hand on his and look him in the eyes. Those gorgeous brown eyes that I’ve missed so much. I can’t believe we’ve lost nine years together because of some ridiculous miscommunication and misunderstanding. The thought makes me sick. If only we’d done better by each other back then.

“You did hurt me,” I admit, and I see the pain in his eyes, but he doesn’t look away. It makes me love him even more. “It wasn’t okay for you to do what you did. You can’t be the one to decide what’s best for me. I know you always want to protect me, but it’s not your place to make decisions for me. And never once talking with me about it, asking me how I felt? What I wanted? Granted we were teenagers, but it kills me to think how things could have been different if we’d just communicated better.” I pause and stroke the hair away from his forehead. “I know that’s not all on you, though. I could have communicated better, too, from what you told me. I gave you the wrong impression and made you believe the worst possible thing. I hurt you, too. And I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I have been such a dick, and ignored you for the past nine years. In short, it sounds like we were both idiots who didn’t know how to communicate and express our feelings.”

Cooper nods. “Not sure we’re any better at that,” he says, tucking a stray curl behind my ear.

I give him a slight smile. “Well, maybe we can do better this time around.” I grip Cooper’s hand tighter, and squeeze it, then press a kiss to it. “I want this,” I say. “I want us. But I need to know that I can trust you not to do something like that again. I need you to promise that if we’re going to be together you will stick by me. That if things get tough you won’t push me away, or leave me, or assume you know what’s best. That we’ll communicate. That you will trust me to talk to you about my anxiety, or anything else, and that we’ll work through things together, always. Having my heart broken by you once was hard enough. I can’t do it again.”

Cooper nods and strokes my cheek. “I want that too.”

“And, look, I know you aren’t a pilot now,” I say, and I feel his body tensing, his gaze leaving mine briefly. “But when you are,” I place my hand on his cheek and make him look at me. “When you are,” I repeat, “I want to be there, by your side, for all of it. Anxiety be damned. I’ll cope. Because you love it, and I love you. Okay?”

“But –”

“Okay?” I stare into his unsure eyes. “You have to trust me on this, Cooper. I’m not letting you give up your dreams for me. You don’t think I didn’t think about the fact that you would be gone a lot like my dad was? That it would be a challenge? We’ll figure it out. I will be okay. I love you.”

He looks at me for a moment before he finally nods.

“Okay,” I say with a bigger smile.

“Okay,” Cooper says, and then I move up, pressing my lips to his and kissing him. It doesn’t take long before we’re moaning into each other’s mouths, our tongues tangling together, our cocks stiffening again. God, I can’t seem to get enough of him.

Cooper almost whimpers when I move away and chases my lips with his own. “No, no, no,” he whines. “Don’t pull away.”

I chuckle and then press another kiss to his thick, beautiful lips. I reach down and start to stroke him again, but he stops me, grabbing my wrist.

“Don’t,” he pants.

I just stare at him.

“Let me take you on a date,” he says. “Let’s do this right. I want to spend time with you for real.”

I smile and kiss him again. Then I climb off of him and we slide our dry clothes back on before separating to make the drive home. How is it that ten minutes away from him is too long?

“Good morning you two.” Mom gives us a smile as we walk in the front door. “You were certainly out late.”

Neither of us can hide our smiles as we exchange glances with each other. “Yeah, um, Cooper found me,” I say, and then immediately feel my cheeks heat as Dad grins.

“We figured that,” he says. “There’s some pancakes on the counter if you’re hungry.”

“Ooh, yes please,” Cooper says and makes his way over to the food. I grin and shake my head at him. My guy loves food. God that sounds wonderful – my guy.

“You guys sticking around?” Dad asks as we consume our breakfast at the bar.

“No, actually, we’re going on a date.” Cooper smiles through a mouthful of food, his cheek bulging and his dark eyes lighting up. He looks so excited about the idea of spending time with me and a warmth spreads through my chest.

“I see,” Dad replies, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I would say have fun, but I don’t think you need me to tell you that.” He takes a sip of his coffee as Mom giggles and I roll my eyes.

Cooper and I shower separately after we eat to give ourselves and each other some space. We want to do this right, like he said. Not just fuck each other senseless, but go on a date, feel things out, actually be boyfriends, and talk, and this seems like a good first step. I dress in pink skinny jeans and a white collared button up. It’s semi-sheer and very sexy, but also classy and comfortable. It’s one of my favorites and it looks amazing with my nail polish.

“Will you be back for lunch?” Mom asks when we’re back out in the kitchen a half hour later. Cooper is wearing jeans and a tank. His fantastic muscles are on full display and I am not even trying to hide the fact that I am eating them up. He has three different piercings in his right ear. All black. Two cuffs, one at the top, one in the middle, and a loop through his lobe. He also has a small black stud through his nose. God, he’s gorgeous. And he’s all mine.

“Probably not,” Cooper answers for me, since I’m too busy staring at his amazing body. He smirks at me and grabs the keys to my car before taking my arm and ushering me towards the door. “Can you guys let my mom know where I am when she wakes up?” he asks my parents.

“Of course, honey,” Mom says.

“We’ve got our phones. Call if you need anything,” he adds.

My parents are laughing at me, I’m pretty sure, as we walk out the door. I can’t help it if I’m drooling. Trust me, if you could see Cooper, you would do the same.

As soon as we get to the car he spins me around, shoves me against the door and presses up against me. My eyes go wide and my cock twitches. He stares at me for a second. Then his gaze travels over me, before he practically growls.

“Fuck.” Then he’s grabbing the back of my neck and slamming our mouths together. I grunt. Fuck, that was unexpected, but definitely not unwelcome. He’s devouring me, his large hand holding me in place, and I fucking love it. Love it when he gets possessive, and rough, and I feel like I can’t escape him because he’s holding on to me so tightly, keeping me right where he wants me. He pulls me away from the car just a bit and his other hand grips my ass. He cups it, and I moan, pressing into him, feeling his hard cock against my stomach. Then he’s lifting me. I let out a small grunt as he sets me on the hood of the car, my lips parting from his for just a moment before he’s drawing me back. My legs wrap around him, my hands fisted in his shirt as he steps closer. His tongue plunders my mouth. My lips are sore and swollen, and my jaw is hurting from the intensity of this kiss, but I don’t want to stop. It feels electric. His hands are all over me, my face, my hair, my arms, my back. My cock is hard and pressed against the zipper of my skinny jeans. It twitches as he moans into my mouth, sucking and licking. He’s desperate for me, and I love it.

“Fuck.” He pulls away from the kiss but takes me with him, holding me close, my legs and arms still wrapped around him. We press our foreheads together, standing there in the driveway, knowing people can see us but not giving a shit. His lips are wet and puffy, his breathing heavy.

“What was that for?” I ask, matching his breaths.

“I couldn’t...I couldn’t help myself.” His voice is rough and deep. “You look so fucking sexy in those clothes, and the way you were looking at me inside, like you wanted to fucking eat me...”

I smile, then lean closer and lick a strip up his ear, playing with his piercings and feeling him shudder beneath me, his arms closing around me tighter, before I whisper, “I want you to eat me.”

His breath hitches and his pupils are wide when I pull back.

“But date first,” I say, pressing a finger to his lips. He narrows his eyes and growls at me as I slide out of his grasp. Then he’s grabbing me and pulling me to him again.

“You’re a fucking tease.” I feel his hard cock pressed against me again and I smile.

I lean up and press a kiss to his plump lips, resting my hand on his cheek and letting myself drink him in for a moment, grasping his full bottom lip between my teeth and tugging. He hisses, and I pull away, smiling.

“You’re evil.” His voice is thick, and his eyes wanting.

I grin. “Come on. We have an errand to run before our date.” I palm his cock and squeeze, and his nostrils flare as he sucks in a breath. I turn around to get in the car and he smacks my ass. I look back at him, my mouth gaping in fake shock, and he points at me.

“You deserved that,” he says. “Fucking tease.”

I cackle maniacally and get in the car. He slides in next to me and buckles in. I chuckle as I see him adjusting himself.

He smirks at me. “Shut up. Do you have any idea how many boners I’ve had over the last four days because of you? My dick’s been suffering, and it’s not cool, and then you go and pull that stunt.”

“You mean that ‘dressing sexy’ stunt?” I ask, grinning at him as I pull onto the street.

“Yeah,” he pouts. “Meany.”

“Not my fault you can’t keep your hands off me,” I say. But I reach over and take his hand in mine, smiling like an idiot.

“So, what’s this errand we need to run?”

I feel my cheeks heat and I bite my lip. I rub my thumb across his finger and clear my throat. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I didn’t bring any condoms or lube on this trip.”

“Oh?” he says, and I see him grinning at me out of the corner of my eye.

I shrug. “Didn’t exactly think I’d need them.”

He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my palm, then makes his way down the heel of my hand to my wrist with his lips, brushing over my pulse point. Then he removes his lips and strokes my wrist with his thumb, sending shivers down my spine.

“Okay, fuck, you gotta stop, ‘cause I’ve had my share of boners because of you in the last four days, too, and my dick needs a break,” I say, my heart racing.

Cooper laughs, and lets go of my hand, which I shake, and then grab the steering wheel again, letting out a deep breath.

He rests his head on the back of the seat and turns to look at me. He reaches over and brushes his fingers over my neck. “You’re adorable,” he says, his eyes sparkling, a soft smile gracing his lips.

I smirk. “You just like the fact that you turn me on with the flip of a switch, asshole.”

He smiles wider. “Maybe a little. But you do the same to me.” I glance at him as his fingers continue to stroke the hairs at the nape of my neck. The look in his eyes is filled with so much fondness, a warmth spreads through my chest, and my heart stutters. How could I ever think his affections for me weren’t real when they’re written all over his face?

“You know you were the reason I cut my hand making dinner the other night, right?” he says with a smile.

“What?” I say. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He looks me over. “You and that sexy ass of yours distracting me.”

I chortle. “That’s what distracted you that you got so pissed off about and didn’t want to tell me?”

Cooper mock-glares at me, removing his fingers from my neck and crossing his arms over his chest. “Yes,” he says.

“Ooh, I didn’t know my ass had so much power over you.” I bite my lip suggestively and wiggle said body part in the seat.

Cooper smirks. “Fucking hell you didn’t. You used to seduce me with that thing all the time. Those skin-tight jeans you would wear any time you wanted me to fuck you. Or the way you would just ever so casually lay on the bed on your stomach, with your bum and feet in the air, giving me those bedroom eyes.”

I grin and laugh. “Okay, fine, but I didn’t do it on purpose this time, and I had no idea it would still work its charm.”

Cooper smiles. “Always,” he says, stroking my cheek again. I shudder, and my cock thickens.

“Goddamn it,” I say, and he laughs as I adjust myself.

A minute later I’m parking the car in front of the drugstore and we both unbuckle. I’m about to open the car door when Cooper stops me with a hand on my arm.

“Wes?” His voice is serious, and I hate it. I’m pretty sure I know what’s coming but this is a conversation I don’t know if I’m ready for. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.

“Wesley,” he says again, and I swallow. That’s his earnest voice. I can never ignore that. It’s the one that says he cares for me, for us, and that whatever he’s about to say, it’s for the best, even if I might not like it.

I turn to him. His eyes are soft. “I know this may not be something that either of us really want to talk about, but I think it’s best if we do.”

I swallow. “Yeah. I uh, I don’t know if...”

“Wes, it’s only fair to both of us if we’re going to be as safe as possible.”

Tears sting my eyes. I grip the steering wheel and run my hands along it. I breathe out. Shit. I know some people can treat sex casually, but that’s never been me. I could never fuck someone, or let someone fuck me, if I didn’t feel close to them, know that they cared for me and that it wasn’t just a transaction, or about getting off. Sex has always been incredibly intimate and personal for me. It’s a big deal, letting someone see me naked, sharing my body with them, letting them see me at my most vulnerable, trusting them to handle me with care, no matter what sounds I make or what my body does while we make love; and Cooper was the only one that I had ever shared that connection with. The idea of him with someone else, after everything, it guts me. I don’t, I can’t think of him with other people.

The idea of knowing how many other guys he’s touched, invited into his bed, how many other guys he’s been buried inside of over the past nine years, touched him, made him come, been underneath him, when I had only ever thought that that was a place reserved for me, is making me sick to my stomach. It isn’t fair, I know. I can’t begrudge Cooper a sex life, or a dating life. We haven’t been together, and I haven't even been speaking to him, so I know it isn’t fair, but I can’t help how I feel, or how my body is reacting.

“Wesley.” Cooper reaches over and takes my hand, prying it off the steering wheel. It’s only then that I realize that I’m shaking. I try to pull my hand away, ashamed and embarrassed, but Cooper holds it tightly, which only makes me shake harder as hot tears start to slide down my cheeks.

“Please, let go,” I gulp.

“No,” Cooper replies softly, scooting closer. He reaches up and places a hand on my cheek, turning my face to look at him. My tears fall freely now, and Cooper wipes them away. “Talk to me, sweetheart,” he says.

I close my eyes, wanting desperately for him to let me look away. My chest heaves as I suck in a deep breath. “I’m fine,” I lie. “It’s fine. I’m...I’m just...”

“Baby,” Cooper coos as a fresh wave of tears come, and my shoulders shake. I can’t stop them no matter how much I want to.

“Wesley, talk to me,” he prods gently, stroking his fingers through my hair. “It’s clear this is upsetting you. Are you afraid?”

I nod. “It’s not fair, Coop. I know it’s not fair,” I blubber through my tears. “I don’t have any right. I just can’t stand the thought of you making love to someone else. You were mine, and I was yours, and that’s how it was supposed to be, and I...” I collapse in a fresh puddle of tears onto Cooper’s shoulder. “I didn’t think it would be this hard,” I sob. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Wes,” Cooper murmurs, holding me close. “My sweet, beautiful, Wesley.” He rubs my back and cards his fingers through my hair. “Would it help if I told you it didn’t last long, because I couldn’t be with another guy without it making me more miserable, knowing the person I really wanted was you?”

I lift my head, sniffling, and look into his eyes, my own eyes blurry with tears. “What?” I say. He nods.

“I was miserable after we broke up, Wes. I tried being with other guys, but it never worked out. I’d fuck them, or let them give me a blow job, but it only made it worse because I just kept thinking about how it wasn’t you. You were what I wanted. Knowing that, it made me stop. I didn’t want anyone else, and fucking around wasn’t making me happier. It was only making me more miserable. That’s when I got my tattoo.” He presses his hand to his heart where he wears my name. “I knew it didn’t matter what else happened in my life, I wasn’t going to give my body to someone when you had my heart. So yes, there were a handful of guys, years ago. But they didn’t mean anything to me, Wes. You are my everything. You always have been and you always will be. I haven’t been with anyone in a very long time. Last night, with you, was the first time in eight years someone has touched me.”

“Really?” I sniffle as my eyes widen.

“Yeah,” he says, giving me a soft smile.

“Me, too,” I say, and wipe the tears from my cheeks. He smiles even wider. “I mean, I haven’t been with anyone since you. Not like that. Christ, if my right hand didn’t get tired, though.”

Cooper laughs. “Mine, too.” He places a kiss on my forehead. “Listen, Wes, I know what sex means to you. I wish I could tell you there hadn’t been anyone else. If you need time, to process, or if you want to take a break from sex, or from us, I’ll understand –”

I shake my head, vehemently, interrupting him. “No. Do I wish there hadn’t been anyone else? Of course I do. But it was nine years, Cooper. No one would expect you to stay celibate for that long in the off chance that we would end up getting back together again, as much as my heart wants that to be the case. But you were honest with me. And all things considered, it could have been a lot worse. You could have been fucking every guy between here and kingdom come. And, it doesn’t matter because I love you. That’s what matters. Not those five or however many other guys you were with. I know the kind of man you are and I know you love me. And now, it’s about us.”

Cooper takes my face in his hands and presses his lips to mine, kissing me tenderly. “You’re amazing, Wesley Hall,” he says. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I say.

“Ready to go inside?” he asks.

“Um, actually,” I say, somewhat timidly. “If neither of us has been with anyone recently, what do you think about forgetting about the condoms?”

Cooper smiles. “I think I’d like nothing more than to take you with nothing between us.” He brushes the hair from my forehead. “But,” he continues, “I can’t do that unless I’m certain we’re one hundred percent safe. I know we haven’t been with other people in a while, but there are other ways to get infections, Wesley, and I don’t want to risk anything, least of all your health. I care for you too much. It’s been almost a year since I’ve had a physical and got tested. I was negative, but I don’t want to take any chances. And I won’t go bare with you until I have a full round of tests done. Okay?”

I sigh, but nod. “All right. But when this vacation is over can we go get tested together?” I’m sure I don’t really need to get tested, since I’ve never been with anyone but him, but it won’t hurt.

“Of course,” Cooper says, and kisses me again.

We climb out of the car and head into the store to grab our essentials. I try not to blush fiercely when Cooper pressed a kiss to my cheek as we’re checking out and the lady behind the counter gives us a fond smile.

“Ugh, that’s so embarrassing,” I groan once we’re back in the car.

“What?” Cooper asks.

“That.” I gesture to the store. “Buying condoms and lube, and nothing else. It’s like advertising that we’re about to go have sex.”

“So? Lots of people have sex.”

“Yeah, but I don’t like to showcase it.”

“Well, I for one have no problem letting people know that I’m about to do you.” Cooper gives me a wide smile.

“Oh, god,” I groan, burying my face in my hands against the steering wheel. Cooper laughs.

“Come on, where are we going? This is a date, remember?”

I sit up, a smile on my face now. “It is,” I say, and put the car in drive.

A few minutes later I pull up to a pirate-themed miniature golf course, complete with waterfalls, pirate ships, tunnels, barrels, bridges, and even live gators that you can pay to hold, although I am not planning on doing that, thank you very much.

“Tada!” I exclaim, holding my arms out and beaming.

Cooper frowns. “I don’t get it.” I turn to him, my mouth gaping and my eyes wide. “No, no, no, I’m kidding,” he says, as quickly as possible, and then instantly regrets his farce when I reach over and pinch his nipple with all the strength I possess, making him shriek.

“Fuck,” he gasps. “Jesus Christ, you bastard.” He rubs his nipple. “I think I’m bleeding.” He lifts the collar of his shirt and peeks inside.

I roll my eyes. “That’s what you get for making me think you forgot our first date.”

He smiles. “I could never forget our first anything.” He leans in for a kiss, which I dodge with a huff, climbing out of the car.

Cooper climbs out and follows me, walking up behind me and slapping me hard on the ass, making me yelp. I turn towards him and kiss him. “Race you to the counter,” I say, and take off.

I win just barely, and hand the man my credit card. “Two please.”

“Wes, I can pay for myself.” Cooper’s voice is stern.

“What part of “date” don’t you understand?” I smile at him and poke him in the nose. I hand Cooper a blue ball and pick a brown one for myself, and he grins. Although this isn’t the same golf course we’d gone to on our first date and many of the dates that had followed, it feels really good to be reliving old times with him. We’d gone mini golfing on a regular basis as teenagers and always chose golf balls that matched each other’s eyes. Now that I think of it, that was probably a dash more creepy than it was romantic, but eh, hind-site is twenty-twenty. And am I gonna stop now? Nopety-nope. It’s totally our thing.

“I think we should make a deal,” I say. “Loser has to kiss the winner.”

Cooper smiles. “I can live with that.”

There are eighteen pars and on each one we do our best to screw each other over, nudging into each other, poking each other in the ass or the ribs, or the groin, or making a loud noise when the other is about to putt. We do silly things on purpose like putt bent over backwards, with our head between our legs, or while giving the other person a piggy back ride, or we kick the ball instead of using the putter. It takes us forever because of our antics and we have several groups of people go past us (most of them amused) but we laugh like crazy and flirt the whole time, and I can’t remember the last time I was this happy. When we finally make it to the last hole and both get our balls in, we cheer and hug each other.

“So, who won?” Cooper asks. We are both sweaty from being out in the sun for the last two hours and smiling profusely.

I pull out the score sheet and show it to him. It’s completely empty. “We both did,” I say, smiling.

Cooper grins and slides his arms around my waist as I wrap mine around his neck, and we kiss right there, on the eighteenth par, in front of God and everybody.

CHAPTER 10

COOPER - 10 YEARS EARLIER

“Okay, we just have to put the frosting on, and then it’s done.” Wesley slides the cake out of the oven and sets it on the pot holders that are sitting on top of the counter. Then he reaches over and turns the oven off, before looking at me with those gorgeous blue eyes. “And then we’ll have a perfectly delicious celebratory cake.” He steps forward and presses his lips to mine, cupping my cheeks with his hands which are still covered in oven mitts. I had shown up half an hour ago with the news that I’d finally saved up the money to start the training for my private pilot’s license, and this is our way of celebrating. It’s been a year since I got my job at the bakery but it’s been slow going, saving up since I can only work a few hours a week between school, sports and wanting to still have time with Wesley.

I chuckle and pull him away. “Can you get rid of those?” I ask.

“What?” Wesley says, mock-affronted, looking at the oven mitts and then back at me. “Don’t you think they’re sexy? They have turkeys and everything.”

That just makes me smile even more and bring Wesley’s face back to mine. “You are sexy. And adorable.” I press my lips to his and slide the oven mitts off sequentially, feeling Wesley’s lips smiling against mine.

He kisses me again, and it gradually intensifies as we keep coming back to each other. Finally, I grab his thighs and he jumps up, wrapping his slender legs around my waist, combing his fingers through my hair as I turn and place him on top of the counter. God, kissing him is intoxicating. We’re moaning into each other’s mouths when I hear someone clearing their throat behind me and we break apart. Wesley’s legs drop from around my waist as I turn and see Greg in the entryway to the kitchen. My cheeks heat and I feel Wes pressing his forehead into my shoulder, his hands gripping my forearm.

“Hi, Mr. Hall,” I say. “We were just, uh...celebrating.”

“Yes, that’s what it looked like,” he says, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth, and I bite my lip to keep from laughing.

“Cooper starts his flight training next week, Dad,” Wesley adds. “We made a cake.” He gestures to said object with his head, his cheeks a rosy pink. I do laugh now, because it’s totally adorable that he’s trying to prove to his dad that we were in fact doing something other than making out. He smacks my arm and flushes yet again, biting that gorgeous bottom lip.

“Well, congratulations, Cooper,” Greg says. “Don’t let me keep you from ‘celebrating.’” He puts the word in finger quotes and turns his gaze to Wesley. “Just remember that your mom and I are in the next room and we’re not as old as you might think. We still have our hearing.”

Wesley’s face flushes an even deeper shade of pink and he runs his fingers through his curls. “Yeah, sorry, Dad.”

Greg crosses to the fridge and opens it, grabbing a soda and popping it open. He takes a sip and then leaves, a grin on his face. I’m sure it’s not the first time he’s walked in on one of his children while they were making out. Wesley is the youngest of three, after all. All things considered that could have gone a lot worse.

I turn back to Wesley who is still biting his lip and blushing fiercely. I brush his nose with mine. “You’re adorable,” I tell him, and his blush deepens. Then we’re kissing again as we wait for the cake to cool.

It’s a few days later when I’m lounging on the sofa in front of the television, trying to distract myself, that I hear a knock on the door. I’m not expecting anyone. Mom is at work, but she’ll be home any minute. I’ve been in a mood all day, and no matter how much I hate it I can’t seem to help it. I get like this every year at the same time. It’s a hard day for Mom and me, remembering when Dad left us, and we both get a bit melancholy. On top of the anger, grief and depression I also feel immense guilt. It’s always there, lingering under the surface, but normally I’m able to push it down. Today though, not so much. And I need a distraction. I know I was only five but there’s a part of me that still can’t shake the fact that I’m the reason he left. That I’m the reason Mom has to work so hard to take care of both of us, that I’m the reason she’s alone. I’ve never told her this. I’ve never told anyone this, how much it affects me, but there are days when the guilt washes over me so fiercely it makes it difficult to breathe.

Wesley asked if he could come over but I told him I wasn’t in the mood for company. A huge lie. I need him here more than anything, but I don’t want to drag him down with my problems, and I’m honestly not sure I deserve him. He’s always been so sweet about being there for me every year on this day but he deserves a break and doesn’t need to deal with me. I should be able to handle it on my own. God, I sure could use his kisses, though. They make everything better.

I stand from the sofa and make my way to the door slowly as another knock sounds throughout the house. Pulling the door open I blink at the sight in front of me.

Wesley is standing there, along with his parents and all three of them are smiling. Christine is holding what looks like a casserole dish and Greg is holding some sort of game.

“Hi,” Wesley says, then steps forward and kisses me. The tightness in my chest unravels every so slightly at the feel of his warm lips on mine. “I hope you don’t mind but we’re gonna hang out with you and your mom tonight.”

I blink again. “Um, yeah, okay.” I don’t know what is going on since I told him not to come, but Mom didn’t raise me to be a jerk so I won’t be turning them away. They make their way inside and I close the door behind them. “Mom will be here soon.”

“Great,” Christine beams and heads to the kitchen. “I’ll just pop this in the oven.”

“How are you, Coop?” Greg says, clapping me on the shoulder. And I’m reminded of Wesley’s words all those years ago. ‘You can share my dad.’ It’s true that Greg has been more of a father to me than mine ever was. He helped me hone my skills at football, taught me to drive when Mom wasn’t available, even helped with my homework sometimes.

“I’m good,” I lie.

“Well, if you’re not, that would be okay,” he tells me. He pulls me into a hug and I almost cry as his big, strong arms encase me. “We love you, kiddo.”

“Thank you,” I manage. He lets me go and smiles at me, before moving to the kitchen to help Christine.

“What’s going on?” I ask Wesley, turning to face him. My tone is hushed so Greg and Christine don’t hear me. “I told you not to come.”

“And you had to know I wasn’t going to listen to that.” A smirk plays on his lips. Then his gaze softens before he says, “We know what a tough day this is for you both, and we didn’t want you to be alone.”

And damn it, now I am crying. I know I don’t deserve him, or his family. Tears slide down my cheeks as he pulls me towards him and kisses me again. Then he wipes away my tears and whispers, “You’ll always have us, Coop.”

CHAPTER 11

WESLEY

After lunch we take a walk along the beach, holding hands, our pant legs rolled up, shoes in our hands, splashing each other with our feet, enjoying the breeze, letting the sun warm our bodies. Cooper leans over and presses his lips to the space between my nose and cheek. I close my eyes and blush profusely, my smile a mile wide.

“Love your face,” Cooper says, grinning at me.

We sit on the beach for a while listening to the waves and the sound of seagulls and children laughing, digging our toes into the sand, using our fingers to draw our initials and a heart. I lean my head on Cooper’s shoulder as he puts his arm around me and kisses my hair.

“Thank you,” he says.

“For what?” I look back up at him.

“For this.” He gestures around him. “For making me come here, even if it was for a different reason initially. This is wonderful. You, of course, but just everything about being here. Your family, and being away, and seeing my mom being happy and laughing and enjoying herself for the first time in a long time, and not focusing on how sick she is. It’s nice, you know? We both needed this.”

I give him a soft smile and kiss his cheek. “Happy to help,” I say, then rest my head back on his shoulder and sift my fingers through the sand.

“You know, you never did tell me what it is you actually do for a job,” I state. Cooper’s grip on me loosens, and then his arm falls away completely. I raise my head again and sit up, the space between us unnerving. Cooper isn’t looking at me. His gaze is locked on the sea, the wind blowing through his dark hair and ruffling his shirt. He looks down, letting out a sigh and running his fingers through his hair.

“I work at the bakery still, Wesley. I mean, I’ve moved up from part time in high school to assistant manager, but it’s not exactly my dream job.” He looks over at me. “I also work at a restaurant downtown, on the side.”

I blink. If Cooper has two jobs just to make ends meet then things must be worse off for him and Natalie than I realized. I’m sure the medical bills aren’t helping. I figured he would at least be doing something with airplanes, though. “But, you got your private license, right? Doesn’t that mean you can do ground instruction or other things related to flying and planes? I mean, I don’t know about all that stuff, but –”

“I didn’t finish,” Cooper cuts me off rather abruptly, and I flinch.

“What?”

“I didn’t finish,” he repeats, looking at me now, his jaw set. “I never got my private license. I can’t do a goddamn thing.”

I feel my face heating and it isn’t from the sun. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I don’t have my license, Wesley, okay?” he snaps. “It never happened.”

“But, I don’t understand,” I say. “You were so close, why –”

“It just didn’t work out, okay?” he hisses, and then before I can even begin to comprehend what is going on, he’s standing up and walking away, his arms wrapped around himself and his head hung low.

“Cooper!” I call after him, jumping to my feet as quickly as I can and grabbing both our shoes. I run after him through the sand. “Cooper, wait!” But Cooper doesn’t wait. He keeps walking until I catch up with him and grab his arm. “Cooper, stop,” I say, out of breath.

Cooper turns to face me, and his dark eyes are filled with so much emotion my breath leaves me again. His whole body radiates grief, anger, and, if I’m reading him right, guilt, and shame. My heart shatters.

“Cooper, I didn’t mean...” I start. “I’m sorry.”

There’s a pause. Cooper doesn’t speak, so I speak again. “Look, I want you to talk to me, about anything, and everything, you know that. I hate that you are hurting and upset and I don’t know why, and I hate even more that the thing you wanted so badly and worked so hard for didn’t happen. But if you aren’t ready to talk about it, then that’s fine, too. I’m here when you are ready.” I stand on my tiptoes and press a kiss to his cheek. “I love you,” I say softly, running my fingers along the nape of his neck. “Always. No matter what. And there’s nothing you could say or do that will change that.”

Cooper sighs and leans into me. It makes me happy because I feel like he’s letting me bear his weight, his burden, whatever it is, in whatever way I can. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to shout at you. I just...”

“It’s okay,” I say.

“No, it isn’t,” he replies.

“I mean, I forgive you.”

Cooper reaches down and tentatively takes my hand. “Can we maybe go home and get a nap in before dinner?” he asks. “I’m beat, and curling up with you in bed sounds pretty great right now.”

I smile. “Sure.”

And that’s exactly what we do.

That evening we gather around the fire pit in the back yard with the rest of the family, roasting marshmallows and making s’mores, laughing and sharing stories.

“You convinced him to jump off the roof?” Macy asks, looking at my brother with bemusement. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

Derick shrugs, smiling. “It didn’t take much convincing. I just told him he could fly because he was Superman. Not my fault the kid listens to me.”

“No, but it was your fault he broke his arm,” my mom chimes in with fake sternness. “You should have seen Wes in his cape, though,” she adds, turning to Macy and smiling. “He was adorable.”

“I bet he was,” Cooper says, giving me a big grin, and a wink, and I’m sure my face is bright red, but I can’t keep the smile off my face as I reach over with my foot and kick him.

“You two kept us on our toes, that’s for sure,” Dad says. “You and your sister. Good thing we had Cooper there to keep you in line.”

“Oh, right,” Derick scoffs. “Cooper was the one who started the food fight that destroyed the kitchen and took us three hours to clean up.”

“Oh, you’re just mad because I got mashed potatoes and gravy in your beautiful hair,” Cooper teases, reaching over and ruffling Derick’s dark locks. “You should be thanking me, I think they helped.”

Derick shoves him away and we all laugh.

“Wesley?” Mom says as the stories and laughter die down. “Why don’t you play your guitar for us, sweetie? And maybe sing a little?” She grins at me.

“Oh, I can’t,” I say, as everyone else chimes in with approval. “I didn’t even bring it.”

“Lucky for you, I brought one,” she says, a quirk to her lips.

“Mom, it’s been forever since I picked up a guitar,” I groan, as she moves inside. Moments later she is back out, carrying the guitar over and handing it to me, along with a pick.

“Play something nice,” she says, patting me on the shoulder, and then sits back down, looking at me expectantly, along with Dad, Derick, Macy, Natalie, and Cooper, who gives me another wink.

I take a deep breath, resting the guitar on my leg, and begin to strum. And as I do, I look at Cooper, and then I sing. The words from “Heaven” by Bryan Adams. It’s one of my favorites, and one that means even more to me, now that I have Cooper back in my life.

I hear Cooper’s hitched breath as the words leave my lips, and see his eyes widen in a way that says ‘what are you doing?’ I smile and keep singing as he shifts in his seat.

After the second verse Cooper has tears sliding down his cheeks, and he mouths the words ‘fuck you.’ I smile and keep singing.

By the time I’ve finished the third verse, Cooper is wiping tears from his eyes and his chest is heaving slightly. The light of the fire lights up his handsome face, and makes his chocolate brown eyes glow. His tears glimmer. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt more in love with him, seeing his emotions so evident on his face as he listens to me. I’ve never meant these words more. He’s everything to me. Everything I want, everything I need. And I hope I convey that with this song. How much he means to me. How much I need him, how wonderful it is to have him in my life again. How amazing he makes me feel. How I’ll always be there for him, no matter what. My beautiful, wonderful, amazing Cooper.

As the song comes to a close my eyes lock with his, and then Cooper is out of his chair and gripping my face in his hands. “You asshole,” he whispers, and then presses his lips to mine as tears slide down his cheeks. I grunt as I try to keep the guitar from falling off of my lap and kiss Cooper back at the same time.

And then I’m blushing furiously, and a breath leaves me when Cooper pulls the guitar out of my hands and thrusts it at Derick, before turning back and gripping my sides, pulling me up. I go, and he lifts me, my arms and legs coming around him.

I know everyone is staring as he holds me to him, one hand supporting my ass, the other wrapped around my back, and I’m feeling a little self-conscious, but I’m also feeling incredibly turned on, and wanted, and loved, and right now those emotions are taking over as Cooper stares at me. He obviously doesn’t give a shit that this is happening in front of our families. He’s never cared about that stuff. He was always so open and free with his affection and feelings for me while I was more subdued and reserved, at least in front of other people.

Cooper kisses me, and a shiver goes down my spine as he growls low in my ear, “I want you right now, Wesley Hall.”

He takes me inside and to our room, where he undresses me slowly, leaving soft kisses against my skin as he exposes it, inch by inch. I’m a mess by the time he finally gets me into bed.

And when our bodies join together for the first time in nine years, it feels like coming home.

COOPER - 9 YEARS AGO

“Guess who?” I say as I walk up behind my boyfriend and place my hands over his eyes. His hands come up to touch mine and his small body leans into me. I press a kiss to the top of his head, and let out a soft moan, drinking in his vanilla and almond scent, and my cock twitches.

“Well, for your sake, I hope you’re my boyfriend, because if you aren’t you are going to be in big trouble when he sees you, especially considering how your crotch is digging into my ass,” Wesley snarks.

“Very funny,” I say as I remove my hands from his eyes and he turns to face me. He presses his lips to mine and we drink each other in, even as students chat and walk by, the halls filled with the noise of gossip and squeaking shoes on tile, and locker doors opening and closing. But we only see each other.

“Happy birthday,” he says with a grin once we’ve separated, his body still pressed close to mine. I purr. There’s something about us both being eighteen, both officially adults that makes me think this birthday will be extra special.

“It sure is,” I say, brushing the tip of his nose with mine. I push him into the lockers behind him and press him against me at the same time. His breath hitches and he kisses me again.

“Hey, guys, find a janitor’s closet,” one of Wesley’s swim teammates remarks, walking by, and Wesley responds by giving him the finger. I laugh.

“What time do you get off work?” he asks, looking me in the eyes.

“Eight,” I reply.

“Okay. Text me when you’re home?”

“Sure, but why?”

Wesley flushes a beautiful pink color and bites his lip.

“What is it?” I ask, and I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face.

“It’s a surprise,” he says softly, gripping my shirt. And if it’s possible he flushes even more.

Shit. Now I really can’t wait to get done with work. I draw him close once more. “I love surprises.” His pupils dilate, his lips parting. I take the opportunity to kiss him again, letting my tongue slide into his mouth briefly and hearing him breathe through his nose as his hand grips the back of my neck.

“Woah, slow down there, Williams, let him breathe,” someone remarks.

“You guys do know we can see you, right?” someone else says.

I ignore them and look at Wesley. I press a kiss to his nose.

“See you later,” he says, then grabs his books and walks away. I sigh as I watch that adorable bubble butt disappear around the corner.

It’s 8:15 when I get home that evening. I pull out my phone and text Wesley right away.

Me: I’m home. <Smile emoji>

Wesley’s text comes back in less than a minute, and my mouth is salivating reading it. My cock twitches.

Wesley: <Heart emoji> My parents went to the movies so we could have the house to ourselves. Come and get your birthday present, big boy. I’ll be up in my room when you get here.

Fuck. I don’t even know how to reply. I just keep reading the text and getting harder and harder until my jeans zipper is digging painfully into my erection. My boyfriend is such a fucking tease.

I snap myself out of my daze and slip out of my work shirt and into a T-shirt, and then make my way across the street to Wesley’s house. I don’t even bother knocking on the door, just head inside and make my way up the stairs to his room, unsure what to expect.

“Wesley?” I say, knocking lightly on the partially opened door.

“Come in,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

When I push the door open all the way, so many things happen at once. My mouth drops open, my eyes widen, my cock thickens like nobody’s business, and if I thought my heart was beating fast before it’s nothing compared to the race it’s running now.

Wesley is lying on his stomach, on the foot of the bed, his knees bent and his legs crossed at the ankles. He’s dressed in black thigh-high tights with a thick band of lace around the top. Black lace panties hug his ass and even show off his butt cheeks a good amount, teasing me. To top it off, he’s wearing a pink crop top sweatshirt that is falling off one of his beautiful, silky smooth shoulders and showing off his glorious midriff. He even has glitter in his hair, and on his lips is a light shade of pink gloss that shimmers under the low light of the bedroom lamp he’s turned on.

I am speechless, and so very, very hard. My cock is straining, and there’s a wet spot gathering on my underwear as I gape at him. Over the last few months as our relationship has progressed we’ve shared more and more intimate moments together and had a conversation or two about kink, and I had mentioned how much I would love to see him in lace. Handcuffing him and spanking him were also mentioned and he had told me he was willing to try all three but that he wanted to be the one to decide when and where.

Holy fuck.

“Happy birthday, baby,” he says, smiling at me.

Shit. How does he do this to me? Make me feel so many emotions all at once? Love, lust, desire, joy, gratitude. I’m tearing up, once again because of him. He’s the only one who’s ever had this effect on me. My chest rises and falls as I stare at him. It takes me a moment to form words. “I...” I swallow, my mouth going dry. “You...” I still haven’t moved, or looked away. “Holy shit,” I finally get out, and wipe away the tear that slides down my cheek at the same time that a chuckle leaves my lips. “Fuck, Wes, what are you trying to do to me?”

Wesley smiles as he pushes off the bed. “I’m trying to give you your birthday present,” he says, walking towards me, and oh god, that just makes it worse. He’s so damn beautiful I can’t stand it. Shit. I’m shaking.

“Oh my god,” I say as he gets closer. The sight of his cock in those lace panties is making my mouth water. A breath escapes me, sounding awfully close to a whimper. The way the panties hug his cock accentuate it. It looks so delicious, so hard and full, leaking precum and looking like it’s aching to break free.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” I say, and I’m still shaking. I need him in my arms. Need his touch. Need him to ground me. He must sense it because he reaches me and grips the sides of my neck with his hands, pressing his forehead to mine. He takes a deep breath in, and lets it out, and I follow, closing my eyes, and gripping his hips. Fuck, touching him, getting my hands on his bare skin, it’s electric. He feels so good. My heart is pounding, my cock throbbing. I feel his breath on my face when he speaks, and I can’t believe how much I covet the sound of his voice.

“I love you,” he says, and I smile and laugh.

“I can’t believe you did this for me,” I say. “I can’t decide if I want to look at you for the rest of the night, or fuck you senseless.”

Wesley chuckles. “Do I get a vote?” he asks. I nod, still clinging to him. He steps back and then his hand lowers. I gasp as he palms my erection. The friction is insane and it drives me wild. I moan.

“Fuck, Wes.” I bury my face in his neck and let him work me through my jeans.

His words are a low whisper. “I want the birthday boy to fuck me senseless. I want him to blow me, and rim me, and shove this gorgeous hard dick inside me and make me moan, and shake, and scream his name.”

I growl as Wesley continues to stroke me with every word, teasing me endlessly, but never taking me out of my pants.

“Wesley,” I moan, my grip on his hips tightening.

“And,” he continues, “If he’s very good, I’ll even let him cuff me to the bed.”

My head shoots up at that. “What?” I say, breathing heavily, my eyes on his. He cups my balls and squeezes a little and I spasm, gripping him to steady myself. He smiles and slides his hand up my cock before sliding his thumb over the tip.

“Would the birthday boy like that?” I can barely nod because my body is trembling so hard.

“Wes, please?” I say. “I need you.”

He smiles and lets go of me. He struts over to the queen sized bed, giving me a delicious view of his perky ass, and then he climbs on and lays down, his hands behind his head and one knee bent. It’s the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. His legs were made for those tights. And the peek I’m getting of his flat abdomen is so heady. I want to lick and suck and kiss every goddamn inch of him. I want to leave my cum on him, mark him as mine. I want my cock in his ass, driving him to orgasm.

“Then come and get me, big boy,” he says, a wide smile on his face. He reaches into the bedside table and pulls out lube, a condom, and a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs as I pull off my clothes, and a second later I’m hovering over him.

I press my lips to his and he grips my cheeks, our tongues tangling. We moan as we explore each other’s mouths, our hands drifting, sliding, brushing. I slide my hand under his top and rub my thumb over his nipple, drawing a gasp out of him that goes straight to my cock. Fuck, yes. I know what I want, but I need the handcuffs. I grab them and look at him again.

“You sure this is okay?” I ask.

Wesley nods. “Yes. Very much so.” He holds his wrists out to me, and I swallow. God, he’s amazing. The trust and faith he has in me is overwhelming.

“You should probably have a safe word,” I say, before I do anything. “I know this isn’t hard core BDSM or anything, but I’d feel better. I don’t want to hurt you. If things get too crazy and you can’t handle it, I need to know right away.”

He nods. “Red,” he says. “Red will be my safe word.”

“Red,” I say. “And yellow to slow down?”

“Okay,” he says. “You can also take them off at any time if you want to.”

I smile and slide one end of the cuffs around his right wrist, closing it securely. “Grip the headboard,” I say, and he does, without a second thought. I reach the cuffs around the poles on his headboard and through, and then take his other wrist and slide the opposite cuff around it, before closing it.

I sit back and look at him. Fuck, yes. He looks sexy as hell in his lingerie, cuffed to the bed, cock hard as steel and soaking his panties in precum.

“You okay?” I ask, thankful that despite my arousal I’m still able to think straight enough to make sure he’s safe and comfortable. He nods, licking his pink lips. The gloss has mostly transferred to me and the taste lingers on my tongue. It tastes like berries, and him. “God I want to eat you up,” I growl.

I kiss his lips. Then I move down, and pull his panties down ever so slightly. His breath hitches as I lick the tip of his leaking cock, savoring his taste on my tongue. He pulls on the cuffs and his legs move, and I love it. Love that he can’t get away from me. I lick around the head of his cock, and he takes in a shuddering breath, and then gasps when I take the tip into my mouth and suck on it. I can feel his silky tights brushing against my sides as I kneel between his legs, and it’s making me even hungrier for him. His cock twitches in my mouth and I moan, sucking harder, and then licking at the slit again.

His moans and whimpers are everything to me. My siren song. The sound of the cuffs rattling against the bed frame is intoxicating. Knowing I’m driving him wild, that he wants to touch me, and can’t. He’s at my mercy, and I’m going to make him suffer in the most delicious way. He’s already breathing heavily when I pop off of his cock. I slide his underwear back up over the tip of his erection, before pressing a kiss to it, and then move myself so that I’m straddling him. I slide my hand under his shirt again, rubbing once more at his nipple as I gaze at him, breathless beneath me.

He sucks in a breath again and I feel his entire body shudder. Then I’m lifting his shirt and I see his eyes widen as I lower my mouth to lick and suck on the hardened nub.

He loses it, his head thrown back, his hips bucking, the handcuffs straining against the headboard as he pulls on them to no avail. And the most beautiful sound leaves his lips.

“Cooper,” he whines. “Shit, baby.” He writhes even more under me as our erections slide together, his panties feeling delicious against my naked cock. “Fuck,” he cries. “I can’t.”

I move to the other nipple and repeat the actions, my lips ghosting across his neck, licking and sucking on his ear as my thumb plays with the hard nub. He whines, his breath coming in harsh pants. My mouth moves to his nipple. I lick and suck, all the while continuing to rut against him. He is falling apart, and I love it.

“Cooper,” he gasps,“please.”

He hasn’t used his safe word, but I’m ready for him to touch me, to be in a new position, so I reach up and open the cuffs. Immediately his arms come around me and I do the same, pressing our bodies together and kissing him feverishly as I roll us over so that Wesley is on the top. The feel of the lace panties gliding against my bare skin with Wesley’s cock inside them, and the silky smoothness of the tights against my legs is even better than I’d imagined. And Wesley’s body in them is so far beyond perfect. It feels amazing to touch him, to run my fingers along his thighs and across his ass. Wesley’s breathing is picking up as he kisses down my neck, my hands sliding along his body and into his panties. I feel us shivering simultaneously as I cup his ass cheeks and feel the lace against the back of my hand, the softness of his skin against my palms.

“Oh, fuck,” I moan. “You feel so good, Wes.”

“Fuck,” Wesley moans in turn. He pushes himself up on his hands and straddles me. “Love your hands on my ass.”

I grin. Every cell, every fiber of my body feels so charged, having Wesley on top of me, dressed like this. Normally I want to feel every inch of his skin, but I’m loving this look so much. The tease of his shoulder, his belly button, the few inches of skin between the tops of his tights and his panties. I’m loving all of it. My eyes soak him in before I say, “Come here,” and pull him down for a kiss, feeling his cock grinding against mine, drawing deep, desperate moans out of us both.

“Fuck.”I reach down between us and grip Wesley’s cock through his panties, and it feels so good. His shaft is slender and so fucking hard. I can’t get enough of it. Wesley sits up more, moaning and arching his back, his eyes closed, hand combing through his hair as I continue to stroke him. He’s drinking in the pleasure, and he looks so beautiful doing it. His neck muscles strained, his lips slightly parted, his face flushed, sweat glistening on his brow.

“Fuck, baby, you look so good like this,” I growl. “So good on top of me. Love your cock in my hand.”

“Cooper,” Wesley whimpers, his back arching even more, both hands gripping his blond waves now as he thrusts into my hand, his abdomen rising and falling. “I...oh, god.” His body trembles.

“What do you want, sweetheart?” I ask, lowering his panties just that little bit again and sliding my thumb over his tip, making him whimper. Wesley opens his eyes and stares at me.

“It’s your birthday,” he gasps, but can’t stop thrusting. It’s sexy as fuck. “It’s about what you want.”

I smile. He’s so cute. “I want you to tell me what you want,” I say, continuing to play with his cock. His lips descend on mine and he kisses me ravenously. My hands come up to cup his face as my tongue delves into his mouth, and he sucks. My cock twitches and I groan.

We’re still kissing when I grip him and roll us over once more, drawing a breath out of him. “Fuck, I love it when you do that,” he says, now pinned under me.

I smile and kiss him again, and it only intensifies. I reach down and begin to stroke Wesley’s cock as my fingers glide through his hair, and my own cock jerks as he moans and pants into my mouth. The sensation is so incredible it’s almost overwhelming. Feeling Wesley’s length in my hand through his panties, the softness, the slickness, the warmth, and to know that it’s mine. That Wesley is mine. That I’m his. I want this more than anything. Want Wesley to come in my hand, to feel his dick pulsing and spurting as he ejaculates, to feel the warmth of his cum in my palm as he releases.

The thought drives me wild, and I stroke him faster, harder, his whimpers and moans intensifying, and then we’re coming together, the room filling with our cries as cum pools on his stomach and slides through my hand and onto the sheet.

“Fuck,” Wesley says as I collapse on top of him. “That was insanely hot.”

I nod. “You came in your panties,” I say, stroking his side.

“Hmm,” is all he manages. “You came without either of us touching you,” He says a second later as he sifts his fingers through my sweaty hair.

“I did,” I say, looking at him. “It was pretty incredible, just listening to you, feeling you, and thinking about it. Apparently I didn’t need to be touched.”

Wesley grins and I rest my head on his chest again. “I’m pooped,” he says, and I chuckle.

“Me, too.” I reach over and grab a tissue to wipe the cum from my hand and toss it in the trash can by the bed. “Wanna shower in the morning?” I ask, running my not-cum-covered hand through his hair.

He hums and nods. We lay there a second longer, our cum sticky between us before I say, “Thank you. I still can’t believe you did this for me. I loved every second of it.” I feel his lips against my hair and I know he’s smiling.

“Happy birthday,” he says. “I love you.”

I lift my head and press my lips to his. “I love you, too,” I say. And I’ve never meant anything more.

CHAPTER 12

WESLEY

“What are you thinking about?” I ask, stroking Cooper’s cheek as we lay next to each other in bed. “The amazing orgasm you just had?”

He chuckles and plants a kiss on my forehead. Our legs are intertwined and we’re facing each other. After having sex with Cooper for the first time in nine years, my body feels like jello. It’s amazing.

“No,” he says, “But it was incredible.” He strokes my cheek as he looks into my eyes.” I was actually thinking about you surprising me for my birthday when I turned eighteen. You remember?”

I flush and grin. “Shit, that was forever ago. You remember that?”

Cooper’s frowns. “Of course I do. I remember everything.” His words are so tender and sincere. I know he’s telling me the truth.

“Me, too,” I say softly, my throat closing up. I shift closer to him and he takes me into his arms, pressing a kiss to my hair. “God, I hate thinking about all the time we missed out on because we didn’t just talk. Why were we so stubborn and stupid?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “But we’re here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

I chuckle as I remember something.

“What?” Cooper asks.

“You remember that time we were ridiculously horny, but we were out and we didn’t have any condoms, so we stopped and you ran in and bought some.” I’m laughing now at the memory and Cooper chuckles as I look at him.

“Hey, anyone could have made that mistake,” he says. “I was in a hurry and didn’t look at the package close enough.”

I’m laughing so hard now my stomach hurts. “Your dick looked like a fucking lightsaber,” I cackle, and he jabs me in the ribs, which only makes me laugh more.

“Yes, and you were laughing just as much then as you are now,” he says, a wide smile on his handsome face.

“Glow in the dark condoms, oh man.” I try to catch my breath. “Good times.”

“As I recall, we had a very good time. After you stopped laughing.”

I start cracking up all over again at the image of Cooper’s dick in the dark, glowing bright green. I remember us having to turn the lights up because I couldn’t calm down. We’d ended up laughing a lot over that, before he’d fucked my brains out.

Cooper laughs and tickles me, and we roll around on the bed until I’m laughing so hard I’m crying and can barely breathe. Then he pulls me into his arms and kisses me, slapping me on the ass at the same time. I moan and press against him. I love it when he spanks me. It turns me on so fast. I never thought I’d be one for pain during sex, and I’m not into some of the more intense stuff, but the sting and burn of his hand on my ass is electric, and the idea of him punishing me in some way, for my sassy mouth especially, god it gets me hard.

“Is that your idea of a spanking?” I ask. “I think you can do better.”

Cooper eyes me. “Is that a challenge?” He squeezes my ass cheek.

“Yes, but not now. That shit is way too loud and I don’t want to scar our families for life.”

“Better behave then.” I moan as he kneads my ass cheeks some more and kisses me again. “You still have those tights and panties?” he asks. “The black ones?”

I grimace. “No. I kind of got rid of everything that reminded me of you after we broke up. But they wouldn’t fit me anymore anyway.”

Cooper frowns, and it’s so pitiful I can’t help stifling a laugh. He’s so damn cute when he’s pouting. He was in loooove with those things. I can’t count the number of times I wore them after surprising him for his birthday, along with all the pairs he bought for me in every fabric, design, and color. Sometimes I’d even wear them to school under my clothes just to tease him, pulling my pants down ever so slightly to give him a glimpse of my underwear, but not letting him touch or get the full picture. The first time, he had been kissing me and had slid his hand just under the waistband of my skinny jeans, then jerked away when he’d felt the satin material of the turquoise panties I’d worn that day, his eyes going wide, and then he’d fucked me senseless in the backseat of my car after his football practice. There was a nice stain on the seat from my cum spilling out onto it, too. Too bad I don’t have that car anymore. We had some good times in it.

“But,” I add, nibbling on his jaw, “I can get new ones.”

He purrs. “Yes, please.” Then he rolls me onto my back and kisses me breathless.

I wake before Cooper the following morning and shuffle close to him. I drape my arm over his torso, resting my hand on his abdomen. The touch of his skin against my palm sends shivers racing through me. How did I ever live without him for so long? My boyfriend, my best friend, my other half. I press my lips gently to the space between his shoulder blades and he stirs.

“Morning,” I whisper in his ear.

“Morning,” he says, draping his arm over mine, his eyes still closed and his voice rough with sleep. The feel of his bare ass against my cock is making me hard but I don’t do anything but lie there, spooning him and drinking in his scent. Vetiver and cinnamon. We lay that way for a while before I move my hand and begin to trace my fingers along the tattoo on Cooper’s shoulder blade.

“You gonna tell me what this is about?” I ask gently. “It’s really beautiful.”

Cooper opens his eyes, flexing his shoulder blade against my fingers, causing the dozens of black birds to ripple with his movement. He rolls onto his back and pulls me to him, kissing my hair and then running his fingers through it. He sighs. “I want to,” he says. “But not yet. Not now. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” I say, nuzzling his bare chest. “You can tell me when you’re ready.”

“Thank you,” he whispers.

He holds me for a moment longer before we get up and shower together, exchanging blow jobs before we wash each other off.

“Hey,” Macy shouts from outside the bathroom as we’re rinsing ourselves off, “breakfast is ready when you guys are done fornicating.”

We chuckle and finish getting ready.

We eat waffles and bacon for breakfast with everyone before we all head down to the beach again. It’s cool and windy, and the sound of the waves crashing as I hold Cooper’s hand brings me the most intense sense of peace I’ve ever known.

Later we play games and have another cookout over the fire pit. Hearing his laughter as we tell stories once again makes warmth spread through my chest. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have this man back in my life. He is my heartbeat. With his touch, his kisses, his gentle whispers, his roughness, and his strength, he enthralls me, mesmerizes me, reminds me how much I am worthy and loved. With his humor, compassion, and kindness, he makes me better. Sure, I could live without him, I have for the past nine years, but I don’t want to. I’m only half a person when he’s not a part of me.

WESLEY - 9 YEARS AGO

“Hey, babe, you wanna spend the night after the movie’s over?” I ask, walking into the living room with a bowl of popcorn. I stop when I see that my boyfriend is passed out on the couch, his chest rising and falling softly, his long dark lashes resting against his cheekbones, and his lips parted just slightly, his hands tucked under his head. His dark hair is longer now, falling in front of his eyes and past his ears. The piercings that he’s gotten throughout the years are prominent on his right ear. A loop through the top, middle and bottom. I’m torn between thinking he looks incredibly sexy, and thinking he looks adorably sweet, and somehow younger than his eighteen years as I gaze at him while he sleeps, snoring softly. He looks so peaceful, like he doesn’t have a care in the world, when I know the opposite is true.

I sigh and set the bowl of popcorn down. I walk over and pick up the remote, pointing it at the television where it had been queued up to start our movie, and turn it off. Then I sit next to Cooper on the edge of the couch and begin sifting my fingers gently through his hair.

How am I so lucky, that the most beautiful boy, the most amazing, sweet, kind, generous, incredible boy in all the world is mine? We’ve been dating for three years now. Well, almost three years. It will be three years tomorrow. And Cooper is taking me on a date just like he does every Friday. I always look forward to them. Especially since, in the last couple of months, Cooper has been so busy with his flying classes and school and his new job that we haven’t seen much of each other outside of our weekly dates. It has been hard for me lately, not spending as much time with Cooper as I’d like, or been accustomed to before he started his job and lessons. It was hard enough when he started working. This is even harder. We text, but we don’t have any classes together this semester and so we only see each other during our lunch break at school and in between classes.

I miss him like crazy. But I know it’s not forever. I know Cooper will have his license in a couple of months and things will slow down again. And I know how much Cooper wants this, how hard he fought to get his job so that he could afford to take the lessons in the first place, and how determined he is. And I’m determined to see him through it.

I press a kiss to Cooper’s cheek and then climb behind him and nestle myself between him and the sofa, pulling the blanket off the back of the couch and draping it over us. I drape my arm over him, and feel him stir slightly as I nuzzle his neck with my nose and plant a kiss there as well. “I love you,” I whisper.

I drift to sleep breathing in his scent, and feeling his warm body pressed against mine, and, even though the evening hasn’t turned out exactly as I’d planned, this is still pretty damn good.

COOPER

“So, big plans tonight I hear,” Riley says, stopping at my locker with a smile on her face. “Ooh, and getting started early, I see.” I look at her as her eyes rake me over in my leather jacket and snug fitting jeans. “You look yummy. Trying to impress a certain someone?”

I turn back to my locker and grab my chemistry book, shoving it in my backpack, then my notebook and pencil case. With each subsequent item I’m using more and more force, and when I stop and zip up my bag it’s with vehemence, yanking on the zipper.

“Woah, what did that backpack ever do to you? You okay?” she asks, as my eyes meet hers.

I throw my backpack over my shoulder. “No,” I say. “I’m a piss ass excuse for a boyfriend is what I am.”

Riley’s eyes widen. “Okay,” she says, drawing the word out. “Why is that, exactly?”

I run my fingers through my hair, and slam my locker shut, then kick the one below it.

“Okay, and we’re walking,” Riley says, grabbing my arm. “Talk to me.” She loops her arm through mine as we make our way down the hallway. I’m so mad at myself I think there’s steam coming out of my ears and my teeth are clenched. Having her near me helps, though. It’s keeping me grounded.

I take in a deep breath and let it out, running a hand through my hair again. “I fell asleep on Wesley’s couch last night,” I murmur.

She looks up at me. “Is that bad?”

“It is if it happens literally every time I’m over there.”

“Oh,” she says, her mouth forming the shape. “Look, I get that you want to be better for him, but this is Wesley. He gets it, Cooper. He doesn’t care, as long as he’s with you.”

“I care,” I say. “It’s not fair to him. We hardly get to see each other as it is, and then when I am over there I’m passed out.”

“Well, you guys are going out tonight aren’t you? Why don’t you make it special for him? And maybe use the opportunity to just remind him of how much he means to you even though you are super busy right now.”

I blow out a breath. “Yeah, maybe,” I say, glancing down.

Riley stops in the hallway and eyes me. “What do you mean, maybe? You do still care about him, don’t you?”

I look up immediately, but my shoulders are slumped. “Of course I do. I love him, Riley. More than anything. It’s just, there’s more to it than that.”

“Like what?” Her eyes dance over my face and I can tell she’s trying to pick up on what the hell I’m talking about. The thing is, I can’t tell her. If I do, she'll talk me out of it, and I’ve already been spending enough time talking myself out of it, when part of me is convinced it’s the right thing to do. I’ve just been putting it off because I don’t want to. The idea breaks my heart, makes me sick. But I have to think of him. I have to put Wesley’s needs first. I can’t be selfish. He deserves better. Still, I hold on to the hope that maybe tonight will change things. At least the doubts that are whirling through my brain right now, and honestly have been for months.

“It’s complicated,” I say. I lean over and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Maybe we can figure some stuff out when I take him out tonight. We’ll see.” I give her a small smile and then walk away.

I’m startled awake by my phone buzzing next to me. A groan escapes my lips as I lift my head off of my desk and wipe away the drool before reaching over to pick it up.

I become instantly more alert when I see Riley’s text message.

Riley: I want to hear all about your date when it’s over :)

Shit! NO! No, no, no, no, no. My heart pounds and I feel the blood rushing to my ears as I check the time. I bolt to my feet, not knowing if I want to scream or cry.

Fuck! 9:23pm. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I almost roar as I slam my phone back down and grip my hair, pulling on it so tightly it burns my scalp. I fucking hate myself. I passed out doing homework and slept straight through my anniversary date with Wesley. I’m such a fucking screw up.

Without responding to Riley I run down the stairs and slide my shoes on, then bolt across the street and ring the doorbell repeatedly.

Wesley answers in a T-shirt and sweatpants, not at all, I’m guessing, the outfit he would have chosen to wear on our date. If I had actually been on time. If I had actually been the boyfriend he needed me to be. The boyfriend he fucking deserves.

He doesn’t look angry, though, or pissed, just resigned. And I think that makes it worse. He’s used to this. He probably expected it. Maybe he never even got dressed for our date because he knew I would let him down. And that’s so not okay.

“Wesley,” I say, drawing in a breath, “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean…” but I find I don’t have adequate words. There is nothing I can say that will express my frustration with myself, my disappointment with myself, the way I feel like I have let him down, and continue to let him down over and over again. “Can I please make it up to you? We can try again tomorrow.”

Wesley stuffs his hands in his pockets.“You work tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but I get off at eight. We can go somewhere after.”

“Don’t worry about it, Cooper, it’s fine,” he says with a shrug. He looks at me for a moment, then gives me a soft smile. “Go home and rest, okay?”

I blink.“Oh, okay.” I try to ignore the ache in my chest. I had thought for sure Wesley would want to do something to celebrate with me, even if it was small. “Well, I guess there’s always next Friday then?”

“Actually,” he says, “Why don’t we hold off on date nights for now?”

My breath catches in my chest and my stomach sinks. I feel like I’ve just been punched in the sternum. Now he wants to back out of our weekly dates all together? Back out of the one time a week that I actually have to spend with him? That we have to spend together? When I can forget about homework and classes and my job and just soak up time with the person that I care for the most? The person who is keeping me fucking sane right now, through all this crazy shit? Even if our dates are just cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, and even if I did fall asleep, it was better than nothing. I just needed his presence, his touch. But it sounds like Wesley doesn’t want mine anymore.

And how can I blame him? I’ve fucked up so royally. And things won’t get any easier once I become a pilot. I’ve been realizing that for a while now, that he has needs I can’t meet. And the reality of it is, I don’t think I’ll ever be what he needs. I just haven't wanted to admit it. Because admitting it, means losing him. And the thought makes my head spin, and my chest ache so acutely I feel like someone is gripping my heart and twisting it like a rag, but instead of wringing out water, it’s the air in my lungs, the blood in my body. It’s everything.

“Happy anniversary, Wesley,” I croak out, and then I turn and walk back across the street. I barely make it to my room before the tears fall. My room is a wreck when I’m finished kicking and throwing things, upending furniture, my knuckles bloody from hitting them against the wall.

I sit on the edge of my bed, my vision blurry now from my tears. I tug at my hair once again. Fuck! I don’t want this, but he isn’t happy, and I have to make sure he’s happy. I won’t be selfish. I won’t keep him in a relationship that’s making him miserable, and if he’s backing out on our dates, the dates he has always looked forward to, then it’s the only reason I can think of for him to be doing so. He’s so soft, and sweet, he’d probably date me for an eternity just to keep from hurting my feelings even if it was killing him. I know what I have to do, but it’s going to break my heart.

Fuck, who am I kidding? My heart is in a million pieces on Wesley’s doorstep. And it’s not broken.

It’s shattered.

WESLEY

It’s been a week since Cooper showed up at my doorstep, looking stressed and exhausted. His hair a mess and bags under his eyes, a crease on his cheek from the book he’d fallen asleep on, and he looked pale. I was worried about him. I still am. There was no way I was going to ask Cooper to take me out in his condition. The guy is barely functioning. What he needs is sleep. And even though our anniversary date hadn’t happened, I could tell Cooper felt terrible, and was trying so hard to make things work. I was disappointed when he didn’t show up for our date, but honestly I was more concerned than anything. He’s been burning the candle at both ends for a long time, and it’s just not working, so I did the only thing I knew I could do to make sure he got more rest, more time for the homework he needed to get done, and wouldn’t have to worry about feeling guilty when he couldn’t show up for me. That’s the last thing I want. He’s everything to me and I just want to make sure he reaches his goals. If that means less dates for us in the short term, I’ll handle it, and we can pick them up again after things settle down a bit.

He’s been quiet since then, though. He hasn’t communicated much at all with me the past week, outside of texts, and even that has been minimal. I’ve been trying to tell myself it’s because he’s busy, but it feels different than normal. His texts have been short and to the point, and they only ever come after I’ve texted him first. He hasn’t reached out to me at all. That’s just not like him. Even when he’s busy he at least sends me a message that says he misses me, or that he loves me, or some type of heart emoji or something to let me know he is thinking of me. But the whole week has gone by without anything, and I’ve been trying not to let my anxiety get the better of me. I hope he’s okay.

“Hey, Wesley, can we talk?” I hear his voice behind me as I’m standing at my locker, and I turn. Shit. He looks wrecked. Something tells me this isn’t going to be a good conversation, and combined with the inflection in his voice and the way things have gone the past week, I’m starting to panic. My heart rate picks up and I swallow.

“Okay,” I say quietly, and shut my locker, before following Cooper to a bench outside where we sit, our backpacks between us.

“Look, I uh,” Cooper starts running his fingers through his hair, and his eyes won’t meet mine. I can feel my throat closing up and my chest constricting. With each word he speaks the nausea starts to build and my head spins. “You know things have been kind of crazy for me lately, and well...I just...with everything going on, and with how full my schedule is, and looking at the future, I think it’s best if we break up, give you a chance to find someone better suited for you.”

Fuck, I can’t breathe. I don’t know if I am more hurt, angry, or confused. What the fuck is going on? Cooper wants to dump me? Now, after everything? And he’s making it sound like it’s some kind of gift? Like he is doing me a fucking favor instead of tossing me aside like we haven’t just spent the last three years together? Like we haven’t spent a lifetime together? Slept together, confessed our love for each other a million times and talked about a future together? I sit there, silent for what seems like an eternity, before Cooper speaks again.

“Wes?”

“Yeah,” I say, clearing my throat. I do my best to make sure my voice doesn’t sound as wrecked as I feel. “Sounds good, Coop.” I don’t want to be with someone who clearly doesn’t want to be with me. I am not going to cry. I’m not going to beg, or plead, or grovel. I’m better than that.

I get up and walk away. I make it to my car before I break down, sobbing.

And even though we have four more weeks of high school left after that, that’s the last time I ever speak to Cooper.

CHAPTER 13

WESLEY

“I don’t want this trip to end,” I say softly as we lay together that night, holding hands across the bed.

Cooper gives me a soft smile and strokes my cheek. My eyes flutter closed at his touch. “Neither do I, my love,” he says. “Neither do I.”

But it does end, and three days later we are hugging everyone else goodbye as Cooper, Natalie, and I pile into my car and head back home. I stop in front of Cooper’s apartment with a hollowness in my chest I can’t suppress. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I am having the hardest time ever saying goodbye and letting Cooper walk away. As if I do, I might never see him again. As if the last week might not have really happened and I will wake up to find that it has all been a dream. That I don’t actually have him back.

Natalie steps inside to give us some privacy, which I am immensely grateful for because I’ve suddenly become a blubbering mess. Tears sting my eyes and I cling to Cooper’s hips with what might be considered a death grip.

“I don’t want this,” I say. “I don’t want to go back to normal. Work, and real life, and never knowing when I’m going to see you next. I just got you back. It’s like I’m losing you again. I’m…I’m terrified to let you go.”

I move my hands to wrap around his neck and he picks me up. My legs circle around his waist as tears slide down my cheeks. I feel foolish and ridiculous, but I can’t help it. His nose nuzzles my ear. “I don’t want to go back to normal either,” he says, softly, and I feel his stubble scraping against my cheek before he pulls back and looks me in the eyes. “I won’t lie, I’ll be working a lot. I have to make ends meet around here, but I will make time for us. As much as I can. I promise. And I’ll call and text you. I swear. I’ll do everything I can to make this work. I can’t lose you again.”

I nod and kiss him deeply. “I could stay and just let you carry me around wherever you go. You know, like a little dog in your purse, kind of thing. I’m so small no one would even notice,” I tease, wiping at my tears.

He smiles. “I would totally go for that,” he replies, “if you were a dog, and I had a purse.”

I smirk at him. “This conversation just got really weird.”

He chuckles and presses a kiss to my nose before setting me on the floor again. I hate it. Not being in his arms, but I know I need to go. I tell myself that it’s going to be okay, that I will see him soon. Then I give him one last kiss before I head back to my car and drive away.

I haven’t been home for more than two minutes, and have barely kicked off my shoes when my phone buzzes. I can’t help smiling when I see that it’s a text from Cooper.

Cooper: Missing you already, baby

Me: Missing you more

Cooper: I’m exhausted and so is mom, but she said we looked like love-struck idiots saying goodbye and it was the most pitiful thing ever, and I should have you over for dinner tonight since I don’t go back to work til tomorrow

I laugh and wipe tears from my eyes. Natalie is wonderful and hilarious. There’s a pang in my chest when I think of her, the love she has for Cooper, for us. I can’t imagine how hard it will be for him when she’s gone.

Me: Are you sure?

Cooper: Yes, I’m sure. I just need a nap first. But I want to see you

I smile.

Me: Okay. I suppose I can fit you into my schedule <Heart emoji>

Cooper: Thank you ever so much. And don’t be late, or you may get that spanking I owe you. <Winky face emoji> <devil emoji>

I bite my lip, my heart fluttering and my cock twitching.

Me: Now you are just asking for me to be late.

Cooper: You are such a little slut

Fuck, is he getting hard from this too? He damn well better be. I love the dirty talk from him.

Me: Only for you, sweetheart

Cooper: Damn right, and don’t you forget it.

Me: Never

Cooper: See you tonight, 6pm. <Heart emoji>

Me: Can’t wait. <kissy face emoji>

I take a nap of my own, the idea of jerking off to Cooper’s texts is an appealing one, but I restrain myself in the hopes that maybe we’ll be intimate tonight. After my nap I shower, and then dress in my sluttiest slut jeans and a light pink button down shirt. I would go for something that shows a little bit more skin, but since Natalie will be there I’m sticking with a more conservative look. The white jeans that cling to my ass and thighs are enough. And I know how much Cooper loves me in pink. Which is also why I’m wearing a light pink jockstrap under everything.

Cooper opens the door when I arrive. He’s wearing dark wash jeans with holes in the knees and a black snug fitting T-shirt. I’m so busy drooling that I don’t even realize Cooper is checking me out, too.

“Wow, you look good,” we both say at the same time, then smile and laugh, before pressing our lips together.

“Come in,” Cooper says, stepping aside.

When I enter I hand Cooper the flowers I brought, and he takes them, raising his eyebrow.

“Thanks, babe,” he says in a very unconvincing tone. “Just what I always wanted.”

I laugh and kiss his cheek. “They’re for your mom, dumbass.” I slap his ass and he pinches mine in return, making me yelp.

He grins.

“These are beautiful, Wes,” he says, as we walk through the living and dining area and towards the kitchen. “She’ll love them. It was really sweet of you to think of her.” He grabs a vase from above the refrigerator and fills it with water before unwrapping the flowers, cutting the stems, and placing them inside. “Thank you.” He turns back to where I’m sitting at the bar overlooking the countertop and sets the flowers in front of me.

“Where is she?” I ask, looking around and down the hallway. The apartment is small. Scarily small. The kitchen is galley style, barely big enough for two people to squeeze by each other. But it does have modern appliances at least. The living area is large enough, and there is a hallway leading down to what I assume are the bedrooms and bathroom. But the place isn’t kept up the greatest. The carpet is old, the walls certainly could use repainting, and their furniture is the same stuff Cooper grew up with, which means it’s as old as he is. I don’t want to say anything, but I know that must mean their finances can’t be in the best place, and it worries me. Are they okay? Cooper did say he’s still working at the bakery, and with all the medical bills they must have on top of regular expenses, I can’t imagine how hard it is for him to provide for both of them.

“She’s in bed. Had an early dinner.”

I give Cooper a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugs. “It is what it is.”

“What’s for dinner anyway?” I ask, sitting up straighter on my stool.

“Well, um, actually…” Cooper rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “I was kind of hoping you could help me with that.”

“Oh, sure,” I say, slightly startled, but not at all upset. I love to cook, and I’ll do anything if it means making things a little easier for Cooper. He seems tense right now, and that’s the last thing I want. “What do you have?” I jump off my stool and head into the kitchen, poking through the freezer.

“Um, chicken. Lots of chicken. I just never know what to do with it, or I’m too exhausted to figure it out. Some fish, I think, and pork chops, maybe. I don’t know. I know we have some frozen veggies.”

I find the chicken and pull it out. “We can do something with this,” I say, and give Cooper a smile. But he still looks off, and the smile he gives me is definitely forced.

“Hey, you okay?” I ask, setting the bag of chicken down and stepping towards him.

“Yeah, of course,” he lies. He tries for another smile but it’s not convincing. I’ve known this guy way too long to not be aware when he’s trying to hide something that’s bothering him.

“Talk to me,” I say, stepping closer still and resting my hands on his chest. My eyes widen when his start to fill with tears. Shit. “Babe, is it your mom?” I say. He shakes his head and wipes at his eyes.

“What then? You know you can tell me anything. Did I do or say something to upset you?” He shakes his head again, more forcefully. His chest rises under my hands as he sucks in a breath.

“God, I hate crying,” he says. “I feel like such an idiot.”

“Hey,” I say, “look at me.” He does, and I kiss him softly. “Tears are never wrong.” I stroke my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. His eyes close and he rests his forehead against mine. He’s trembling.

“Cooper.” I’m aching for him. “Please talk to me.”

“I think I might have had a panic attack before you got here,” he says. He’s gripping my hips so tightly I’m pretty sure there will be bruises, but I don’t ask him to stop. If it helps him stay grounded, I can live with a few bruises.

“What do you mean?” I slide my hands up and down his arms.

“I’m such a fucking screw up, Wes,” he says, and my heart rate spikes. I shake my head. “I almost didn’t ask you to come over after my mom suggested it because I was so ashamed of letting you see our apartment. It’s such a dump. And I hate that I can’t take you out, but I just can’t spend the money right now, and I didn’t want you to pay for it again, so I didn’t want to suggest it. I thought of getting together at your place, but the idea of leaving my mom alone made me sick, especially if it was just to save face in front of you. And I couldn’t keep that up forever anyway. I had to let you visit me here at some point. But I’m so embarrassed at what a poor job I’m doing of taking care of my mom, and I got so worked up over everything that I almost canceled on you, but I didn’t want to hurt you or have you angry with me. It was all I could do to shower and dress. And now I’m having you cook dinner for me in my own home and I feel like such an asshole.”

“Baby,” I whisper. “Fuck, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.” His shaking subsides at my words and he relaxes as my arms wrap around him. “It’s okay,” I say as he sniffles. “You’re okay.” God, Cooper. My Cooper. I hate seeing him broken like this. I want his smiles and laughter back, his teasing grins and his bright, warm eyes. “Please don’t worry. I don’t mind cooking for us. You know I love cooking, and I should have thought of how much you hate it, and your mom being sick. I could have brought something and you wouldn’t have had to worry about any of this. You have so much going on, baby. I want to be here for you. If me making dinner tonight is going to make your life easier, I’m honored to do that.”

Cooper lifts his head and my chest clenches when I see the tears drying on his cheeks. I reach up and wipe them away, and he gives me a soft smile that I know is genuine this time.

“Thank you,” he says, stroking my cheek in return. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“Nothing,” I say. “And you’ll never have to. I’m just here, because you’re you. And I love you.”

He chuckles and wipes away more tears. “Shut up or you’ll make me cry more,” he says.

I smile. “For the record, you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. You are doing the very best you can in really difficult circumstances, and you are doing an amazing job. You don’t have to have a fancy apartment to impress me. I just want you. You are the best person I know, Coop.”

He tenses and his gaze shifts away from me, but before I can ask what’s wrong again, his phone rings.

“Oh, it’s Riley.” A smile spreads across his face as he answers it and puts it on speaker phone.

“Hey, Riles, what’s up?” he asks, leaning over the counter.

“Hey, Coop,” she says, a smile in her voice. Then her tone becomes more serious and I’m covering my mouth to keep from laughing as she continues. “How are you? You’re back, right? From the week with Wesley’s family? Did you survive? Wesley wasn’t a total prick was he? I’m so sorry you had to do that. Please don’t hate me. I just really thought you guys could help each other out –”

“Hey, Riley,” I say, smiling as I look at Cooper, and we both chuckle.

She screams and there’s the sound of brakes squealing and a car horn honking. “Fuck, Wesley?”

Shit. I didn’t know she was driving.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I say, grimacing.

“Well, thank you for telling me you were there and that I was on fucking speakerphone, assholes. You almost killed me.”

“Sorry,” Cooper says. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she grouses, and then, “wait, Wesley is there? With you? You guys are together, in the same place, when you don’t have to be?” Her voice is rising in anticipation and we laugh again.

“Yes, Riley, we’re in the same place of our own free will. No one bound and gagged us or paid us,” Cooper says.

“Oh my god.” Riley sounds breathless and on the edge of her seat. “Please don’t be messing with me. Are you guys? I mean, did you...?”

“We’re back together,” I say, and she squeals so loudly we both cover our ears before we hear, “Hey, fuck you, asshole, my best friends just got back together after a fucking decade so excuse me for getting a little distracted.”

We laugh.

“Do you wanna come over?” Cooper asks, looking at me, and I smile and nod. I think it’s best to get Riley out of traffic for everyone’s sake. “Wes is making dinner at my place. We could hang out and watch a movie.”

Riley squeals just as loudly a second time. “Are you kidding?! Yes!!! I’ll grab dessert, and I’ll be there in like ten minutes. Okay, bye!” Another squeal, and then she hangs up.

And true to her word, ten minutes later she’s barging in the door, holding a store bought cherry pie and chocolate chip cookies which she promptly drops on the counter in favor of throwing her arms around both of us at the same time. She squeezes so hard that it almost knocks the wind out of me.

“It’s good to see you too, Riley,” Cooper says with a laugh. And then she slaps both of us on the arms, and fuck, this girl packs a wallop, especially for someone who is all of 5’ 4’’ and one hundred pounds.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this from you two stubborn assholes?” she says as we rub our stinging arms. “It’s about damn time.”

“Jeez, maybe we’ll just take the dessert and you can go,” Cooper says.

“Nice try.” She walks into the living room and makes herself comfortable on the sofa. “Now feed me.”

I smile and start on the meal while Cooper sits with Riley in the living room and they chat. I ask Cooper questions occasionally about where things are in his kitchen and listen to them argue about whether or not Star Wars or Star Trek is better. I shake my head but I can’t stop smiling. Having all three of us together again is amazing. I’ve missed this.

We eat chicken Parmesan, rice, and mixed veggies, and Riley is staring at us with a wide smile on her face the entire time, like she can’t believe what she’s seeing, and when we press our lips together in the kitchen afterwards while we wash and dry dishes, I hear a sniffle and turn to see her wiping tears from her eyes.

“Damn,” she says, using the giant sleeve of the sweater she’s enveloped in to wipe her eyes. “You guys really have no idea, do you?”

I dry my hands off and wrap her in my arms, and Cooper joins me, sandwiching her between us as we hug her, and she cries.

“Okay, stop it,” she says after about a minute. “I’m fine. As you were.”

We both smile and Cooper presses a kiss to her hair before we finish up in the kitchen and then settle on the couch for our movie. Riley sits in between us and I don’t even mind because I know how much she needs this. We cuddle close and she rests her head on my shoulder as we watch Avengers Infinity War.

“Ooh, you guys, I’ve missed this so much,” Riley says, putting her arms around us and squishing us to her sides. “Can one of you pinch me so I know this is actually real? Ouch!”

“You asked me to!” I declare. “Besides, it serves you right for slapping us earlier. Ouch!” I shout when Riley pinches me back. “That was not cool. I didn’t ask anyone to pinch me.”

“Okay, you two,” Cooper interjects. “No more bodily harm done to anyone please.”

“I’m gonna head out,” Riley says, yawning. “See you guys later?”

“Of course,” Cooper says. “This was fun. Thanks for coming, Riley.” He kisses her cheek and then she gestures for me to do the same. I do, of course, and she’s beaming the whole way to the door.

“You wanna spend the night?” Cooper asks, reaching for my hand once she’s gone.

“God, yes,” I say, breathlessly. He smiles, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink. “But is that a good idea, if we both have to work tomorrow?”

“I don’t want to have sex,” he states, squeezing my hand. “I just like the idea of having you close. Is that okay?”

I nod. “Always.” I hug him. “Just let me get my bag from the car. I brought one just in case.” He smiles and lets me go. I’m back a second later and he takes my hand, leading me down the hallway to his bedroom. He turns on the light and I set my bag on the floor. It’s a simple room, but very Cooper. A dark oak bed and dresser are against the wall and the navy blue curtains on the small window match the comforter. There’s a small closet as well.

Cooper closes the door and starts to strip, and I do the same. He’s down to his boxer briefs before he looks over and sees me. I bite my lip because I’m in just the skimpy pink jockstrap that I wore, and the way he’s looking at me is making my cheeks heat and my heart race. His eyes widen and his chest rises and falls. I can see his cock thickening in his underwear.

“Fuck you,” he says, taking two long strides towards me and gripping my nearly bare ass cheeks before he slams his lips on mine. I grunt, and then melt into his firm body as he plunders my mouth. I’m hard in an instant. I jump and he catches me as I wrap myself around him. We’re both moaning as he carries me to the bed and lays me on my back.

“Damn,” he says, his gaze raking over my body before it lands on my jockstrap, again. It barely contains my erection. His fingers skate under the thin waistband and I gasp as he teases me.

“I thought you didn’t want sex,” I say, my breath ragged.

“I didn’t, until I saw you in this,” he says.

“We don’t have to,” I say. “I didn’t mean to, I just wore it because I thought we might, but it’s okay. I don’t –”

“You really think I can sleep now without fucking that ass?” he says. “I’ll be hard all night if I don’t get inside you.”

I shiver and then pull him down on top of me, wrapping my legs around him and kissing him deeply.

Minutes later I’m biting my lip to keep quiet, and Cooper has his hand over my mouth as I climax with him deep inside me, my cum shooting out over my abdomen and his hand. Seconds later his warmth fills the condom and he collapses on top of me.

We clean up and crawl back in bed.

“I like your nails,” Cooper says as we lay facing each other. I’m gonna be sore tomorrow but it was completely worth it. He fucked me so good I saw stars. Also, apparently being forced to be quiet is a huge turn on for me. Who knew? But having sex in a house with three other people right across the hall, one of whom is your boyfriend’s mother, made me realize it pretty quickly while we were at the beach house. He kisses my fingers.“They’re sexy.”

I smile. “So are you.”

He smiles back and kisses my nose. “Bed, for real this time,” he says. “You’ve kept me up late enough.”

I smile and snuggle up next to him. And pretty soon, we’re fast asleep.

CHAPTER 14

WESLEY - 2 MONTHS LATER

I groan when the alarm on my phone goes off, and I reach for it without even bothering to open my eyes. Why do mornings exist?

I can feel Cooper’s warm body wrapped around me, his arm draped securely across my torso, his leg lying lazily across mine, pinning me in place. His warm breath ghosts over my neck and his nose is pressed to my cheek. All I want is to turn off the alarm and doze back off, snug and safe, cocooned in the warmth of my boyfriend’s body.

I’ve gotten used to falling asleep and waking up next to him. The past couple of months have been incredible and I’ve slept over three or four nights a week. We’ve gone on dates, and my parents hang out with Natalie so Cooper and I can get away without him being worried about her. We’ve been fucking like rabbits any chance we get, and since our tests all came back negative we’ve been doing it bare, which is fucking amazing! I never knew sex could be so incredible, that my heart could feel so full, but having nothing between us when Cooper takes me is like a new level of pleasure and intimacy, and I’m more in love with him than I thought was possible.

Our dates are simple. We’ve gone for drives, or rides together on his bike. That took some getting used to because I wasn’t used to riding a motorcycle, but it turns out, I love it. And straddling him while he sits on it and we make out like teenagers is also a lot of fun.

We’ve done picnics and gone for walks, and none of it has been extravagant or fancy, but I love it, because I’m with him. He holds my hand and presses kisses to my hair and cheek and whispers how much he loves me. And I know it’s real. I can’t get enough. He’s everything to me. Waking up next to him is my favorite thing in the world, especially when he’s got himself wrapped around me. Although now that I’m awake I’m increasingly aware just how badly I need to pee.

I slowly and reluctantly open my eyes and extricate myself from Cooper’s embrace, hearing him let out a soft moan as I do. I bend down and press a soft kiss to his adorably tousled hair. It’s gotten longer and it’s in his eyes almost constantly, but I love the way it frames his gorgeous face, and how it feels when I run my fingers through it.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” I say, and Cooper murmurs something in response. I smile and head for the bathroom. Once I get out I go back across the hall and find Cooper just waking up.

“Your turn,” I say.

Cooper pads across the floor and slaps my ass on his way out the door. I grin and shake my head.

As I’m digging through my bag I realize I forgot underwear. Cooper’s will be big on me but I’ll have to make do. I’m shuffling through his dresser drawer when I find a pair of boxers and pull them out. But when I do, a piece of paper falls out with them. It flutters open as it lands on the floor. I bend to pick it up, and when I turn it over, the bold letters on the top make my heart stop.

Eviction Notice

Date: March 10, 2022

Tenant: Cooper James Williams and Natalie Williams

Address: 4301 Concord Ln, Orlando FL, 32826

You are hereby notified that you currently owe $500 in past due rent and late charges. The rent due each month is in the amount of $1200.

There’s more but I don’t get to finish reading it because that’s when Cooper comes back into the room, startling me.

“What are you doing?” he asks, and I gasp, jerking my head up, as Cooper moves across the room and yanks the paper out of my hands. He folds it back up and shoves it back in the dresser drawer, slamming it shut. “You had no right to look at that,” he snarls. His muscles are tense and his eyes are fierce. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this angry.

“It was an accident,” I protest, my chest tightening.

“You don’t read someone else’s mail by accident, Wesley,” he retorts, his nostrils flaring.

“Hey, it wasn’t like I was snooping on purpose,” I say. “It fell out, and I picked it up and saw it.” I pause, and Cooper glances away. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

Cooper grits his teeth and runs his fingers through his hair. “Because it’s not your problem, Wesley.”

“Of course it is,” I shoot back. “You’re my boyfriend. I love you. And we said we’d work through our problems together. If you are struggling with something I want to know.”

Cooper’s anger begins to dissipate, the flush in his cheeks diminishing and his eyes softening.

“Is this...” I begin, as the realization dawns on me, “Is this why you wanted me to pay you for the week at the beach house?”

Cooper doesn’t say anything, just bites his lip.

“Jesus, Cooper,” I say, running my own fingers through my hair. “You could have said something. Instead of just making me think you were an absolute prick.”

“I didn’t want your money, Wesley,” he says. “But I also didn’t want your pity, and I was embarrassed. I was willing to let you pay me before we made up, but certainly not after, and even then I felt weird about it. But I needed it badly enough I was willing to look the other way. But you needed to know it wasn’t about the money for me once we made up, so there was no way I was going to ask you for anything after I finally got you back. I wasn’t going to take that risk.”

“I asked you to come spend a week with my family, and not work, with no clue that you were struggling this much? And even after we made up you told me not to pay you, knowing you were having trouble making rent? What the fuck?”

Cooper just shrugs, and I want to strangle him. The stupid, incredible asshole. I run my hands over my face and let out a breath. “Does your mom know?”

He shakes his head.

“Jesus,” I breathe.

“I’m really hoping I won’t have to tell her. I’ll figure out a way to pay it somehow.”

“How long do you have? I didn’t quite get to that part,” I say, sheepishly.

Cooper bites his lip again, “Two more weeks. I was hoping I could pick up some extra shifts at the restaurant or something.”

“Cooper, even if you do, will that get you an extra five-hundred dollars?”

He sighs. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

“And let me get this straight,” I say, holding up a hand. “You would rather I think you were a selfish jerk, than tell me you are struggling financially and admit you need help?”

Cooper narrows his eyes and purses his lips. “I told you, I don’t like pity.”

“Cooper, that’s...” I run my hand through my hair again and almost growl. “That’s absurd. There’s a difference between pity and compassion.”

“And would you really have understood?” Cooper says, crossing his arms. “Back then, if I’d told you I needed the money because I was struggling to pay rent, or because my mom’s medical bills were so unmanageable? Would you have listened, or cared?”

I wince. Shit. “Maybe?” I say, slowly, and Cooper eyes me. “I don’t know,” I admit. “But I understand now.” I rest my hands on Cooper’s bare chest. “And I want to help you now.”

Cooper’s eyes widen. He shakes his head.

“Cooper,” I say, sternly. “Let me help you.”

“No!”

“Damn, it Cooper,” I growl. “Why the fuck not?”

“Because this is my responsibility!” he almost shouts.

“And you’re mine!” I shout back, staring at him. His eyes widen again and I hear his sudden intake of breath as his chest moves against my palms. “You,” I go on, “and your mom. Because you mean more to me than anything else in the world and I want to take care of you.”

I reach up and take his face in my hands. “Please, Cooper,” I plead. “Let me take care of you. Let me help you. You’ve protected me and taken care of me my whole life. Stood up to bullies for me, helped me climb down off the monkey bars when I was too scared to do it on my own, drove me to the hospital when my appendix burst and my parents were out of town. Comforted me when my dad was away. You are my knight in shining armor, Cooper. But it’s my turn to save you this time. Please.”

Cooper looks into my eyes, and I can see his resolve lessening. “I’m not good at letting people help me,” he says, softly.

“I know,” I reply. “You’ve done things on your own so long you don’t trust it, or you don’t think you deserve it. But I’m telling you you do. I want to do this for you because I care for you and your mom.”

Cooper grips my face in his hands firmly and his eyes flit over my face before he says, “Okay. But I’m only doing this to make you happy.”

“That’s enough for me,” I say, and kiss him. “I want to give you enough money that you don’t get evicted first off, and then I’d like you to seriously consider moving in with me.”

Cooper’s hands leave my face. “What?”

“You and your mom,” I clarify. “You could share my room. She could have the spare room, and you could save your rent money and use it to pay off whatever medical bills you still have, try to get back on your feet.”

“Wesley, I can’t live with you and not pay rent,” Cooper argues.

I smirk. “Um, actually you can. I’ve got a whole guest room sitting there doing nothing, and the condo is mine. I’m not making payments on it. Even if I were, I wouldn't ask you to pay me rent. That defeats the whole purpose. You’ll still pay for your own food, and water. But you need a break, Cooper. And this will give you a chance to spend more time with your mom, too, instead of working your ass off.” I pause. “And,” I add, “maybe pursue that pilot’s license you’ve been dreaming of?”

Cooper’s eyes widen again. He swallows and shakes his head. “Wesley –”

“Cooper, I can’t let money stand in the way of that. Not if I can help you. I want to see that become a reality if it’s something you still want.” I meet his eyes. “It is, isn’t it? You can’t possibly want to stay at the bakery. You can’t be happy there.”

“No, of course not,” he replies. “I mean, yes, I want my pilot’s license, more than anything, but it’s not that simple, Wesley.”

I sigh. “Just think about it.”

Cooper sighs too. “Okay,” he says, but I see the wariness in his eyes. I don’t get a chance to speak again, however, because Cooper leans in and presses his lips to mine. “I really have to shower now or I will be late for work.”

I nod. “Hey,” I say, as he moves towards the door. “It’s your birthday soon. Got any idea about what you want?”

Cooper grins and says one word. “You.”

CHAPTER 15

COOPER

Me: I’m on my way.

Cute ass sexy boyfriend: <heart emoji>

I smile. I changed Wesley’s name in my phone a few weeks ago, and seeing it pop up always puts a ridiculous grin on my face. So does the picture I took of him to go with it. He’s shirtless and his lips are puckered. He has a hand combing through his gorgeous blonde waves and his eyes are alive with mischief. Damn, he’s fine. And he’s all mine.

I can’t wait to get to Wesley’s place and celebrate my birthday with him. Greg and Christine are staying with my mom while I’m there. They said they would stay til midnight to give Wes and I ample time together and I’ll plan to be home shortly after that.

I know we could have celebrated at my house, but we’ve spent so much time over there the last couple of months and I could use a change of scenery, and a chance to get out. Wesley’s condo is amazing too. It’s light and airy, with a huge bay window. His furniture is so very him, all white with a glass coffee table and a fireplace with a large screen tv above it. His kitchen is super nice and has all modern appliances. Which makes sense considering how much he loves to be in it. I have come over a couple of times for our date nights and he’s made me dinner. It’s been mouth watering each time. I really do love his cooking. Probably even more reason for me to take him up on his offer and move in with him. It’s been five days since he brought it up, and I know I need to make a decision soon. It doesn’t make any sense not to, but it feels like if I do, I’m admitting defeat. Admitting that I don’t have what it takes to take care of my mom, and that doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t want to need help, from anyone. If Mom and I move in with him, though, I wouldn’t have to worry about her being alone so much while I’m at work, or ask Greg and Christine for help as often, because Wesley would be there. He’d be cooking us delicious homemade meals instead of us eating the frozen shit we’re used to. And I’d get to have him in my bed every night. It’s really a no-brainer.

I sigh as I ride up to Wesley’s place, the motor on my bike loud in the quiet neighborhood, no doubt signaling to him that I’m here. I turn off the engine, put the kickstand down, and take off my helmet before running a hand through my hair. Tonight I’m going to focus on Wesley, and us being together. We can talk about moving arrangements later. This night is for celebrating. And I’ve got the best ideas in mind for just how to do that. They involve a gorgeous five-foot-six twink, me, and cake. You can take that in whatever way you want.

Wesley opens the door before I even make my way up the stairs and he’s grinning widely.

“What the hell are you wearing?” I ask, looking my boyfriend over in his rain boots and trench coat, the collar popped up and covering his neck. The only skin I can see is his face and hands.

“This is the view for the neighborhood, baby,” Wesley says, seductively. He grabs my shirt and pulls me inside. “You get what’s underneath.”

Shit. My cock stirs as Wesley shuts the door and turns back to me. And now all I’m thinking about is what he might be wearing, or not wearing underneath that ridiculous getup. Fuck, I’m fully hard now.

“You were saying?” I say, gripping Wesley’s arms and kissing him. I push him back against the wall and he grunts as my mouth plunders his. A groan escapes him as my cock comes in contact with his stomach, and I can’t stand it anymore. I have to hold him. I grab his ass and he jumps, wrapping his legs around me, rain boots and all. I suck on his tongue and draw a moan out of him that has me twitching against him through the confines of my jeans. He’s gripping my hair as he kisses me back.

He grunts eventually, and pulls back, leaving me aching and my boxer briefs damp. I chase his lips but he smiles and presses his fingers to my mouth. “Dinner first,” he says. “Then dessert.” He grins almost maliciously and presses a kiss to my nose.

“You fucking tease,” I growl, squeezing his ass cheeks. As much as I don’t want to, I let him go and we walk towards the kitchen.

“Does that mean there’s no cake?” I ask, standing next to him as he dishes our pasta onto his square white plates.

“What?” Wesley raises an eyebrow at me.

“If you’re dessert?” I say, grinning at him. He grins back and chuckles.

“No, there’s still cake,” he says. I’m sure he made it himself, too, which means it will be delicious.

“Well, if it’s all the same to you,” I say, moving closer and nibbling on Wesley’s ear. “I want you first.”

He squirms and blushes. “I think I’d be okay with that.” He bites his lip and my cock stirs again. Fuck that’s sexy. I press a kiss to his hair and slap his ass. He yelps and smiles.

We sit at the table and eat our dinner, discussing our work, families, and even some politics, and when Wesley stands to gather the dishes I can’t help smiling again at his ridiculous ensemble.

“You look like you’re waiting for a flood,” I say with a chuckle.

Wesley grins and turns back to face me. My breath catches, and I swallow as he begins to undo the belt holding his trench coat together. He slowly opens it, to reveal the pink bikini underwear he has on underneath. They’re sheer with a band of lace across the front, teasing me yet again, as I get a partial view of his semi hard cock. Two thin bands hug his hips on either side. Pink thigh high tights cling to his slender legs, and...fuck, he’s wearing the world’s cutest bra. It’s pink, and satin, and has bows on the sides and another one on the front, with frills running across the top and bottom. The straps are thick and frilly as well. But what really makes my mouth water is...

I swallow. “Fuck,” I say, breathlessly, looking him over, practically salivating as the trench coat falls to the floor. “Is that a collar?” My gaze is fixed on the band of black leather around Wesley’s neck, with a silver heart dangling from the center.

Wesley nods. “You ready for dessert, baby?” he asks, as I stare at him. The next thing I know I’m out of my chair and pressing Wesley up against the counter, my lips pressed against his, kissing him to within an inch of his life. Wesley grips my cheeks, kissing me right back, and then I’m lifting him, setting him on the counter top, my hands grabbing his back and pulling him closer, and then moving down to his feet.

“These have to go.” I desperately yank Wesley’s boots off, and then his legs are wrapped around me and we’re kissing fiercely once again. I can’t get enough of him. My hands slide all over his body as I ravage his mouth. I feel like I’m going crazy. I want to touch and lick and kiss him everywhere all at once. I love the feel of the silk on my hands. I slide my hand under his bra and tweak his nipple, causing him to pull away and gasp in pleasure. My cock throbs with my need for him, but more than wanting him naked, I want to make those sounds come out of him again and again. Those desperate, needy cries that tell me just how much pleasure I’m bringing him. I want to drive him wild. I want him to beg.

I slide my hand inside the back of his underwear and grip his ass, drawing another moan out of him as my lips find his neck.

“Oh, god,” he whispers, as I lick and suck on his neck and cup his ass. My cock is so hard, and I’m leaking like crazy. I want to get my own clothes off, but I can’t bear the thought of letting go of Wesley even for a second.

“Fuck, this thing is driving me insane,” I growl, as I nip and suck on his neck around the collar.

“Is it bothering you?” he gasps, his hands in my hair, his neck thrown back as my lips and tongue work their magic, making him shiver. I feel his cock twitch against my stomach and I growl again as his grip on me tightens. His breaths are coming in harsh pants and I love the fact that I’m making him fall apart.

“God, yes,” I say, sucking on whatever skin I can get a hold of, “but in the sexiest way.” I bite down on Wesley’s neck and he cries out, shaking, and gripping me even tighter.

“Fuck,” he gasps.“Don’t do that again unless you want me to come right here and now.”

I pull back and grin. Then I take a moment to look him over. His skin is flushed and his full lips are swollen from my kisses. His chest rises and falls, and the way the bra moves with his breaths, the straps now now down around his shoulders – fuck.

My gaze lowers to his cock, barely covered by the insanely sexy underwear he’s got on, a prominent wet spot having gathered at the top. I practically salivate at the thought that I’m the one causing his body to react the way it is.

“Bedroom.” My voice is thick with want. He nods and I take him in my arms, giving him kisses as I walk us both through the kitchen and down the hall.

Once we’re in his bedroom I take him to the bed, but instead of laying him down, I sit, and he straddles me as we devour each other’s mouths. We kiss for so long my jaw is sore and my cock is throbbing. His skin feels so good under my hands and I can’t get enough of his mouth.

My Wesley. My beautiful, wonderful, amazing Wesley.

“Take me,” he whispers, his hands sliding under my shirt. “Please. Need you, Cooper. Want you inside me.”

My breaths are heavy as I look him in the eyes, one hand on his waist and the other inside his bikini, cupping his tight little ass. I swallow, because there’s something I want to ask him, something I’ve been thinking about for a while now, and I’m not sure how he’ll respond. It makes me a little nervous, but excites me at the same time, and I know I want this with him. I take my hands and rub up and down his toned arms.

“Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to top,” I say.

Wesley looks at me for the longest moment, before he releases a breath. “You want me to fuck you?” His words are soft and he sounds like he doesn’t believe what I’m saying. But not in a bad way, in a “I can’t believe you would let me do that” kind of way, and I choke up, nodding. His lips come crashing back to mine and he kisses me fiercely, clinging to me, and then begins to undress me.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” I almost laugh as my shirt slides off.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love bottoming,” he says. “But being inside you sounds amazing, so I’m not going to pass this up.”

I grip his hands and look into his eyes. “I’ve never done this before,” I say. “But I want it, with you.”

He nods. “I’ll be careful. We can go as slow as we need to.”

I kiss his nose. “I know. I trust you.” He kisses me again, then slides off of my lap and starts to strip. I reach for his arm and grab it. “Don’t,” I say. “I want to see you in these as long as I can. You look incredible. Fuck me with them on, please?”

He nods and I stand and strip.

“How do you want me?” I ask, and he swallows again. I know this is huge, and I can’t blame him for being emotional. I didn’t know if he would want this or not. He’s never topped before either so it’s new for both of us, but I’ve been dreaming about this for weeks. I want to know what it feels like for his gorgeous cock to slide into me, for him to move inside me. I want to know what it’s like to feel his come release in me and feel it sliding down my thighs when he pulls out. I want his fingers and his tongue to torture me. I want it all. I want him and everything he’ll give me.

“Shit,” I gasp, and grip my cock to keep from coming before we even get started. Just the thought of him taking me is making me twitch uncontrollably, precum leaking out and sliding down my shaft.

“Fuck,” Wesley whispers, as he stares at me. “You were going to come.”

I nod. “I want you so bad, baby.” I give my cock a few long strokes as he watches me, his own hard on prominent in his lacy bikini. I love that I can see the wet spot growing on his panties and see his chest rising and falling as he watches me. His cock twitches, and I groan before I reach out and pull him to me. “I want you to make me come so hard.”

His eyes darken and he sucks in a breath. “Now how do you want me?” I ask again. Wesley’s not really one to take charge when it comes to sex, so I’m gonna have to lead the way. He swallows.

“Whatever is most comfortable for you.” His voice is soft and I sense his nervousness.

“Look at me.” His eyes meet mine. “What are you thinking?” I stroke his cheek.

“I just, I just want to be good for you,” he says. Oh, my sweet Wesley. My heart surges in my chest and I lower my lips to his. His whimper goes straight to my cock.

“You’ll do just fine,” I encourage him. “If I have to keep myself from coming just looking at you, and thinking about you being inside me, imagine how incredible it will be when you actually are.” He nods. “We don’t have to. You know that. I would never ask you to do something you aren’t comfortable with. I want it, but there’s no pressure.”

Wesley shakes his head. “I want it, too.” His voice is just as soft as before. I kiss his forehead and climb on the bed, laying on my back. I want to see him while he fucks me, touch him, look into his eyes as he thrusts. I want to watch when he comes with his cock buried in me.

He climbs on the bed and grabs a pillow, sliding it under my hips, and I lift my legs, spreading them for him. He sucks in a breath as he kneels between my legs. He rubs his hands up my thighs, massaging them, then brings them down right next to my groin, teasing me. I shiver. He leans over and licks a stripe up my balls and all the way to the head of my cock, gathering my precum in his tongue. But he doesn’t swallow. Instead he lowers his head, spreads my ass cheeks and slides his cum-slicked tongue over my hole.

I shake and moan at the overwhelming sensation, and the thought that he’s using my precum to slick me up. Fuck, it’s hot. I use my hands to grip behind my knees and spread myself wider for him, and he purrs. I can’t get enough. This is incredible. He licks over and around my hole, driving me wild as I gasp and pant, and groan. My back arches as my eyes close and I lose myself in pleasure.

“Fuck, Wes,” I try to say, but it comes out as a moan instead. I’m falling to pieces just from his tongue.

“You like that?” I nod as a whimper escapes my lips. I open my eyes in time to see him smirk. “You haven’t seen anything yet.” I smile, hearing the confidence in his voice. Then he lowers his face again, and I cry out when I feel his tongue sliding into me.

“Shit! Wesley!” I’m shaking and my cock is throbbing. I’m so hard it hurts.

He slides out and moans, lapping at my hole and sucking. “Tastes so good, Coop,” he says. “So good.” He moves up and kisses me and I taste myself on his tongue. He breaks the kiss to grab the lube in the bedside table and pops it open.

“You ready?” he asks, gathering the lube on his fingers and rubbing it together. I nod.

“More than ready,” I say, my voice hoarse. “Fuck me, Wes.”

And he does. He slides one finger inside and I moan and squirm. Fuck, why have I never done this before? It feels so damn good.

Then two digits are inside me and I’m writhing as he fucks me with his fingers, his other hand wrapped around my knee. He crooks his fingers and nudges my prostate. I cry out, my back arching and my cock bouncing against my stomach. “Oh, fuck, that’s good,” I whine. He does it again and I grab my cock and squeeze as my balls tighten. Not yet. I can’t come yet. He pushes a third finger in and I grit my teeth. “Shit,” I mutter. “I need you inside me, Wes. Please, I’m so hard. Want your cock, sweetheart.”

Wesley flushes, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of red. “You’re doing so good, baby,” I praise him. “Making me feel so good.”

He smiles and leans in to kiss me again. I drink him in as he continues to finger me, moaning into his mouth.

“You’re ready.” His voice is raspy, and I nod. He lowers his panties but leaves them on, and slicks up his gorgeous cock. He grips my knees as he positions himself at my entrance. Just the sensation of his cock pressing against my hole is enough to make a wave of pleasure shoot up my spine.

“Do it,” I say. And he does. He slides in slowly, his eyes locked on me the entire time, and I’m suddenly overwhelmed at how intimate this moment is. Shit. I groan and my eyes close as he bottoms out. He did an amazing job stretching me and I only felt the slightest burn before pleasure took over. And now, god, it feels so damn good.

“Fuck,” he groans. He lets out a breath and grips my knees tighter. “Oh my god.” He rests his forehead on my knee and shudders. “I’ve never felt anything like this, Coop. You’re so tight and hot.” I can tell he’s trying to keep himself from coming, and I open my eyes and pull him down to me.

“I love you,” I say, and kiss him. I feel his cock twitching inside me and I gasp.

“I have to move,” he says, desperation in his voice. “I don’t think this is going to last long.”

“I’m okay with that,” I reply. He pulls back slightly and then pushes forward. Just seeing him moving on top of me is so fucking hot. Watching his cock slide in and out as he picks up his thrusts, seeing the look of utter and complete rapture on his face as he fucks me.

“Coop,” he gasps. “I’m gonna come. I can’t...” he groans. “You feel so good.”

“Look at me,” I say, and he opens his eyes. They lock on mine. He trembles. “I love you so fucking much,” I say as he continues to thrust. His body is soaked with sweat and his face is flushed. He’s never been more beautiful. “Come hard for me, sweetheart. Use me. Fill me up, baby.”

He cries out and his head falls back as his orgasm crashes into him. I moan as he fills me. “Yes,” I say. “So good, Wes. So fucking perfect.” My words must have an effect on him because a second stream of cum shoots out of him before he collapses on top of me, breathing heavily.

“Shit,” he says, and I chuckle. “It wasn’t supposed to happen that way.”

I run my fingers through his hair. “Why not? That was the best birthday present ever.” I can’t see his face but I’m pretty sure he’s blushing. He lifts his head and kisses me before sliding out.

“What do you want?” he asks. “My hand, my mouth, my ass?”

I smile. “Whatever you want to give me is perfect.”

He smiles and moves between my legs again, before lowering his mouth and taking me deep at the same time that his fingers slide inside me again. When I come only seconds later it’s with my hands tangled in his curls and his name on my lips. He pulls off of me and wipes his chin of my cum. He collapses next to me, breathing heavily. I pull him close and we trade lazy kisses, our legs wrapped around each other, before I reluctantly scoot from the bed and clean myself off in the bathroom.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Wesley asks when I step back into the bedroom.

“Sure. But shower first?”

Wesley grins. “Can I join you?”

“I wish you would.”

We enjoy a nice slow shower, no sex, just tender caresses and soft kisses as we clean each other off.

We slip into clean underwear but don’t bother with the rest of our clothes. Then we head to the living room and cuddle up on the couch. Wesley turns on A Knight’s Tale and we snuggle up on the couch with the decadent cake he made me. We take turns feeding each other and kissing and it’s romantic as hell, and all sorts of fun.

I take him in my arms after setting the dishes on the coffee table and lie down, pulling him with me so his head rests on my chest, his arm draped over me, his leg intertwined with mine.

I sigh quietly as I press a kiss to his hair and then begin to comb my fingers through the soft curls. He hums contentedly and brushes his thumb across my abs.

“Thank you for all of this,” I say. “This is the best birthday I’ve had in a long time.” He leans up and presses a kiss to my jaw.

“You’re welcome,” he says, before returning his head to my chest. I run my fingers along his bare back and rest my hand on his hip. I don’t stop touching him for the entirety of the movie. My chest tightens, realizing that I still have so many things to tell him, and I’m not sure how he’ll respond. As the credits roll I squeeze him tighter, my voice catching in my throat.

“The day my uncle died,” I say. He stays still for so long that I’m convinced he didn’t hear me, but then he lifts his head and he’s gazing into my eyes with such tender compassion.

“What?” he says.

“My tattoo,” I say. “The dates. It’s my uncle's birthday, and the day he died.” I swallow, choking up.

“Cooper,” Wesley whispers, stroking my cheek as a single tear slides down it. “I’m so sorry.”

My chest heaves but I keep talking. “The birds are symbolic for a couple of reasons. They are symbols of flight, his spirit leaving the earth, but they are in the shape of angel’s wings, too, because I like to believe that that’s where he is now, with the angels.”

Wesley uses his lips this time, catching my tears on them as they continue to slide down my cheeks. It’s so tender and soft. So sweet, it makes my heart clench. “I can’t imagine how hard that was for you,” he says, looking into my eyes again, his hand resting on my cheek. “I know how close you were to him.”

I nod.

“This was less than two weeks after we broke up?” I nod again. My body starts to shake as more tears descend.

“Shh,” Wesley coos. “I’m here, baby. I’m right here. It’ll be okay.”

I shake my head again. “It’s my fault,” I say. Before Wesley contradicts me again I add, “It’s my fault he’s dead.”

“What?” Wesley asks, sliding his fingers through my hair. “How can it possibly be your fault? I don’t believe that for a second.”

I wipe at my nose and sniffle, catching my breath. “He was supposed to be flying out to visit us for a while but he called to say he couldn’t make it, and I convinced him to come anyway because I missed him, and then the plane he was on crashed, and...” I’m sobbing once again as I bury my face in Wesley’s shoulder. “It’s my fault he’s dead. My mom’s brother died because of me.”

“Cooper.” Wesley strokes his fingers through my hair and holds me close. “You can’t possibly believe that. You were a teenager who wanted to see the uncle he loved. You couldn’t possibly have known that would happen. There’s no way that was your fault.”

“I’ve never been able to see it any other way,” I cry. “I’ve lived with that guilt for years. And after losing you, and losing my uncle – the pain was too much, along with the guilt and shame. I got severely depressed and I couldn’t hold down my job anymore and I…” I trail off.

“That’s why you never got your license,” Wesley says. I feel his finger on my chin, and he forces me to look up at him. I’m sure I’m a sight, my eyes red and my cheeks streaked with tears, snot dripping from my nose. Wesley hands me a tissue from the side table and I accept it gratefully, but can’t help flushing.

“Yes, and no,” I admit, sitting up, and bringing Wesley with me. I wipe my nose with the tissue and then brush my hand over my cheeks and eyes.

“What do you mean?” I don’t answer right away, ducking my head.

“You’re afraid.” It’s a statement, not a question. He grips my hand, squeezing it. “You’re afraid to fly after what happened to your uncle.”

My gaze meets his and I nod.

“Oh, Cooper.” Wesley wraps his arms around me and holds me close. “I love you, and I know that nothing that happened was your fault. You have to know it too. I’m sure your mom doesn’t blame you. And I know you would make such an amazing pilot. I have always thought that.”

I give him a soft smile. “Maybe if I’d had your courage and strength back then I wouldn’t have given up. You were always my biggest cheerleader.”

“I still am.” He squeezes my hand once again, his gaze locked with mine. “I always will be. You deserve everything you want, and I know what this means to you. Please don’t let fear or guilt or shame keep you from your dreams. You are the most courageous person I know.”

I snort. “I don’t feel so courageous.”

He smirks at me. “That’s what I’m here for. To remind you that you are when you forget.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “I’d love nothing more than to see you in a pilot’s uniform.” His grin widens, his eyes sparkling as he waggles his eyebrows and I can’t help but laugh.

“Seriously, like a walking wet dream,” he continues and I start to tickle him. A moment later we’re kissing and snuggled up on the couch yet again. And before I know it we’ve fallen fast asleep.

I wake to my phone buzzing on the coffee table and slowly open my eyes, taking in my surroundings. Darkness has descended on the house and the warm light from the lamps casts a soft glow over the room. There’s a soft, warm body resting against me. I don’t remember falling asleep.

Shit! I was supposed to be back home by midnight. I don’t want my mom to be alone any longer than necessary and I promised her I wouldn’t be spending the night. A glance at the clock tells me it’s four in the morning and my heart rate picks up. Especially when my phone starts buzzing again. I reach for it and swipe, not bothering to check who it is. If they’re calling at four a.m. something is wrong. I’m wide awake now, my fight or flight response on full alert.

“Hello,” I answer, swallowing. My heart is in my throat when I hear the voice on the other end and my skin prickles because I know this isn’t good.

“Cooper Williams?”

“Yes,” I say, my voice shaking.

“This is Advent Health East Orlando. We’re calling because we have a Natalie Williams here and you are her emergency contact.”

I feel like I might pass out. No. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Please god, NO. “Is she okay?” I manage, but I’m not entirely sure I want the answer.

“She’s conscious but you should get here as soon as you can,” the male voice replies.

Shit. My hands are shaking as I hang up the phone. Tears gather at the corners of my eyes and I wipe them away before sliding out from under Wesley and running to the bedroom to throw my clothes on. When I get back to the living room with my keys in my hand and my phone in my back pocket Wesley is blinking at me with tired eyes and mussed up hair.

“Cooper?” he says. “What’s going on?”

“My mom is at the hospital. I have to go.” I hasten to put my shoes on.

“What?” Wesley is instantly alert. “Shit. I’ll drive.” He bounds off the couch and is back a second later in his jeans and a T-shirt. Neither one of us look our best but I don’t give a fuck. I open the front door and he’s close on my heels.

I feel like I can barely breathe as we make the less than fifteen minute drive to the hospital.

CHAPTER 16

WESLEY

“How is she?” I ask when Cooper enters the waiting room over an hour later. We’d arrived at the hospital and Cooper had bolted inside. I’ve been waiting in the lobby while he’s been in with his mom. I want to support him but I don’t feel that it’s my place to be in there with him. He’d texted me to let me know that she was conscious but in a lot of pain and having difficulty breathing.

“They’re doing everything they can,” Cooper says solemnly. He runs a hand through his dark hair but doesn’t look me in the eyes.

“Will she be okay?” I ask, my stomach in knots. Cooper only shrugs. I hate seeing him so despondent. It breaks my heart. I say his name, reaching up to put a hand on his shoulder. I feel like a bucket of ice has been dumped on me when he pulls away and I flinch, my cheeks and temples heating. “Cooper?” I say again.

When Cooper finally meets my gaze his eyes are glistening with tears. “I’m sorry,” he says in a hushed voice. “I can’t do this, Wesley.” His voice is trembling and I step in and wrap my arms around him.

“I know. I know it’s hard. I’m so sorry, Cooper.” It takes me a second to realize he’s not holding me back. My head comes up even as my heart starts pounding. My face pales when I see the way he’s looking at me.

“No.” I step back and shake my head. My stomach clenches and tears fill my eyes. “You promised.”

“I let her down, Wesley. I should have been there for her tonight, and I wasn’t. I let myself get distracted, and I can’t afford to do that. I never should have let myself fall asleep at your house. That was my second mistake. My first was thinking I could be in a relationship right now. I can’t. She needs to be my focus.”

“Cooper,” I say, a mixture of grief and anger surging through me,“you don’t have to choose between us. What happened tonight wasn’t your fault. We can work through this together.”

He shakes his head and I grit my teeth. “You’re a fucking coward,” I hiss, and his eyes widen. My tears continue to fall as I speak. “You're too afraid to try anything that might actually be good for you or make you happy and I am sick of getting caught in the crosshairs.”

Cooper’s expression goes from disbelief to rage. “I’m the coward?” he growls. “Why are we even here? Huh? Because you were too afraid to tell your mom the fucking truth? So don’t you dare come at me with that coward shit. I’m just trying to get my priorities straight and I’m sorry if my dying mother comes first!”

My face stings like he’s slapped me even though he hasn’t. I can’t breathe. I reach my hand inside my pants pocket and grab my keys before looking back up at him. “I’m certainly not going to stick around for someone who is too damn stupid to realize what they’ve got. Good luck handling everything on your own.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I pound on my steering wheel as tears streak my cheeks. Why was I stupid enough to let him back into my life, my heart, my soul? He’s taken up residence there, wrapped himself around me and made a home, and once again I was foolish enough to think it would last forever. I hate that I didn’t see this coming. I should have known better, because removing him for the second time is going to hurt like a bitch.

I wake two days later to pounding on my front door. Then my phone rings. I pick it up and see that it’s Riley. I groan. I haven’t felt up to talking to anyone the past two days and I called out of work because I was so depressed and upset I wouldn’t have been of any use anyway. She’s texted me a million times but I haven’t felt up to responding so I know she’s lost her patience and driven over here.

“Hello?” I answer, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

“Let me in,” Riley demands. “I won't stop knocking until you do.”

I groan and roll out of bed in just my boxers. The same boxers I wore yesterday, and maybe the day before. Who knows? What? I told you I was a mess. I haven’t showered and I know I smell. I’m starting to reek myself out. But I just can’t seem to summon the energy or willpower to care.

“Wesley, I mean it!” Riley bellows, just before I open the door and she almost falls in.

“Shit, this place is a mess,” she says, coming in and scanning the living area and kitchen. She makes her way over to the kitchen and looks at the stash of crap food I have splayed all over the counters. “Oh, boy, this is bad.” She turns to me. “Okay, first of all, answer your goddamn phone. Your parents have been calling me because they couldn’t get a hold of you for two days and were worried sick, and so was I when I realized you hadn’t been responding to any of us, and second,” I expect her to shout at me again, but instead she walks forward and wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly.

Shit. I’m tearing up. I’ve cried so much over the past two days I didn’t think I had any tears left.

“How are you?” she asks, pulling away. I shake my head and bite my lip. She wraps her arm around my back and walks us over to the sofa. Once I’m seated she takes the blanket off the top of the couch and drapes it over me, and I curl up underneath it, chasing the comfort and security it provides. Not to mention I’m cold in just my underwear.

“I talked to Cooper,” she says, taking a seat next to me. “He called me to tell me about his mom, and when I asked about you he told me what happened.”

I nod but don’t speak.

“After I got done yelling at him for being a complete dumbass I came over here. You had me worried sick when you didn’t show up for work two days in a row.”

I meet her gaze but I can’t bring myself to speak yet. I just sniffle and nod again.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” she says, scooting closer and resting her head on my shoulder, curling up into my side. I rest my head on hers as the warmth of her small body seeps into me. It’s a while before she speaks again. “You wanna tell me your version?”

I lift my head and wipe my tears away. My chest still aches so profoundly. I feel sick to my stomach. I can’t sleep. My eyes hurt. My head hurts. Maybe that’s from all the carbs and junk food I’ve been eating but I know some of it is because of Cooper. God, it hurts just to think his name. I hate that I miss him so much.

“Talk to me,” Riley coaxes, running her fingers through my hair. “What happened?”

I shrug, looking down. “He broke up with me, again.”

“That part I got,” she says. “Do you know why?”

“Sort of. I guess he thought it was his fault that his mom was in the hospital because he wasn’t there when he said he would be. We were celebrating his birthday and we fell asleep on the couch. I guess he felt responsible and said he couldn’t afford any distractions, and he needed to focus on her. God I’m such an idiot.”

“No, you’re not,” she says. “You love him.”

“Apparently that’s not enough for him to want me to stick around,” I say. “I don’t get it, Riles. Why does he keep doing this? Every time things get a little bit complicated or hard he books it. I can’t handle that. He promised we’d work through things together when we got back with each other this time and he broke that promise.”

Riley sighs and brushes her fingertips over the side of my head. “I know. I’m not saying your hurt and concerns aren’t valid, babe. Because they are. I’m just saying that it sounds like Cooper is really overwhelmed and stressed. And people don’t always make sane choices when that’s the case. If he really was feeling guilt because of what happened he was probably thinking of what he could do to keep it from happening again and that was what came to him. It’s wrong, but it isn’t easy going through what he is. Maybe he just needs some time to cool down and he’ll realize he was a moron for letting you go.”

I shake my head. “Maybe, but I can’t keep doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“Breaking up with him every time things get a little complicated. I can’t be with someone who’s that flaky. He promised me he wouldn’t do it again and he did. I can’t handle that. It hurt enough the first time and now...what kind of life can we have together if I can’t depend on him to be there when things get difficult? If I have to be afraid he’ll bolt whenever he gets scared?”

“I see what you mean,” she says with a sigh. “You have to do what’s right for you. Just maybe there’s more going on with Cooper than you realize?”

I narrow my eyes. “Like what?”

She shrugs. “Don’t know. That’s for you to find out.”

I shake my head. “I don’t want to talk to him.”

Riley eyes me. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that the same dumbass behavior that led the two of you to spend nine years apart, and haven’t you regretted that ever since? And haven’t these last two months been the happiest of your life?”

I glance away and rub my eyes. “I don’t know if I can. He’s hurt me so much.”

“I know,” Riley says softly. “And I’m not saying it’s okay. And this might sound incredibly corny, but I still feel in my bones that you two are meant for each other. Relationships are never easy. Maybe he’s scared. Maybe he needs your assurance that whatever happens he has you and you won’t go anywhere no matter how hard things get. I just think something is driving this behavior and it might be worth talking about.”

I look at her, the wheels in my head turning. Could that be it? Is he afraid I’ll leave him so he’s leaving me first? Why would he think that? After everything, after all we’ve been through, how much I love him? How could he ever think I’d leave?

“Didn’t your parents break up like a half-a-dozen times before they got engaged?” she asks.

I chuckle, remembering my mom telling me the stories. “Yeah, they did.”

“And they’ve been married for thirty five years. I’m just saying, if you really love him, and you believe he really loves you, maybe it’s worth another shot. I’m not saying it’ll be perfect. No relationship is, but I do think you guys can be great. You don’t have to be okay with how he treated you. You can set boundaries. You can take your time. You can tell him you never want to see him again if that’s what you really want. Just don’t leave things the way you did last time, okay? You both need closure, whatever you do. And of course selfishly I’m hoping you’ll work it out because having the two of you back was amazing and I don’t want to go back to being friends with you guys separately because it was really hard. There, I said it.” She lets out a breath.

I give a small chuckle and pull her to me. We stay that way for a long moment before she pulls back and even though she tries to hide it, I see her wipe tears away with the cuff of her sweatshirt. I know this can’t be easy for her either. She was so excited to see us together again. But she’s right. I have to think of what is best for me, and I still have to decide if that means having Cooper in my life, or not.

COOPER

“Cooper?” I hear my mom’s voice and lift my head to see her staring at me and blinking.

“Mom?” I say, reaching over to take her hand. “How are you?” She has tubes in her nose, an IV in her hand, a blood pressure cuff around her upper arm and a pulse oximeter on her finger. She looks worn and pale, and her voice is weak but she manages a small smile.

“I’m okay, sweetheart,” she says although I’m fairly certain she wouldn’t tell me otherwise. She’s slept a lot the last several hours and the doctors have continued to administer pain meds but they’d told me that she was on her last leg. They are giving her 72 hours at the most. Three days. How can that ever be long enough for me to say goodbye? There’s been a constant ache in my chest for the last two days and I haven’t slept at all. How can I, when I know she might be gone when I open my eyes again?

“How are you?” she asks.“You seem distant, sweetheart, and sad.”

“Mom, you’re in the hospital. Of course I’m sad.”

She shakes her head slowly. “Don’t lie to your mother, Cooper. I know it’s more than that. Tell me what’s wrong?”

Tears fill my eyes as I speak. “I can’t believe I let you down. I’m so sorry, Mom.”

She blinks at me. “What on earth are you talking about?”

I wipe my eyes. “All I do is mess up, Mom. It’s my fault Uncle Matt died, and it’s my fault we had to sell our house because I couldn’t make enough money to support us when you got sick, and it’s my fault that you are here now –”

“Stop it,” she says, with more firmness in her voice than I thought her capable of. My eyes meet hers again. “Don’t you dare say one more word like that.” Her voice is stern but there are tears in her eyes. “You listen to me, Cooper James Williams. You have never made me anything but proud. And I have never blamed you for anything that has or hasn’t happened in our lives, and don’t you dare for a single second blame yourself. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are brave and kind and good and selfless and I love you more than life itself.”

Tears fall down my cheeks at my mother’s words. I want so much for them to sink in and push away all my self-loathing and self-doubt. All the voices that tell me I’m not enough, will never be enough. But as hard as they push, the insecurity pushes back even harder, making me cling to my doubts and fears, to my guilt. “Mom, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I cry. “I can’t believe you. I want to, so badly, but I just can’t. I don’t know how to.”

She motions for me to come closer and when I do she strokes my cheek. “My beautiful boy,” she whispers. “Do you remember when your father left?”

I nod. How could I forget? I was only five at the time but the memory is seared into my brain like a bad dream. I can hear my parents talking, my mother urging my father to stay, not for herself, but for me. “He needs you, Charles,” she’d said. “Please, don’t abandon him.”

“I’m sorry, Natalie, but I never wanted this, and you know that,” the man had said. “I wasn’t cut out to be a father. I’m no good at it. He’s better off without me.”

“That’s not true,” she’d argued. “He loves you.”

“Then he’ll forgive me,” he’d replied, and walked out the door.

His words still sting as I run them through my head over and over again. It’s not healthy, I know, but I don’t know how to stop. And it guts me every time. Not understanding what I did wrong. What was it about me that made him leave? What was it about me that he didn’t want?

I never wanted this.

He’d never wanted me. He’d never wanted to be a father. I had been too much for him. A complication. I’d been the reason he had left. He hadn’t wanted me.

So how could anyone else? How could I be good enough for anyone else? How could someone possibly choose me? How could I be good enough for Wesley? How could I let Wesley see me fall apart while my mom sits in a hospital bed dying? He doesn’t deserve that.

“Your father taught you that you don’t deserve love, Cooper. That you aren’t worthy. And you’ve believed it, though I’ve tried to convince you otherwise. You have been afraid for so long. Afraid to believe that you are good, and that you deserve good things. Afraid that everyone in your life will hurt you or leave you, and that you have to be everything to everyone. But it’s okay to not be okay, Cooper. It’s okay to need, and to hurt, and to fall apart sometimes. You don’t have to always be strong. And you don’t have to accept blame and responsibility for everything. Sometimes things just happen, baby.”

I close my eyes and let the tears fall, holding her hand against my forehead. “Mom, I –” I sob. “I’ve messed up so badly.”

“What do you mean, baby?”

“Wesley, I...I was upset, and I thought...shit.”

“Cooper? What did you do?” she asks sternly.

“I broke up with him, Mom,” I admit, swallowing hard.

“In heaven’s name, why?” she asks, clearly stunned.

“I was scared. I thought he was a distraction and that I needed to focus on you. I hated myself for falling asleep and not being there when you needed me. I didn’t want to keep letting you down.”

She furrows her eyebrows. “Cooper, don’t you dare use me as an excuse to end your relationship. Do you really think that that’s what I would want for you? To see you alone and miserable instead of with the one person in the world that’s ever made you happy? That boy is the best thing that has ever happened to you and we both know it. Now, I don’t care what you have to do, you go get him back.”

“Mom, I, I can’t.”

“Why ever not?”

“Because, he won’t take me back now. I’ve blown it. I’ve fucked up too many times.”

“Try,” she insists. “Consider it my dying wish.”

I sigh.

“Do you love him, Cooper?”

I nod furiously. “More than anything. I just don’t think I’ve shown him that very well. And I don’t know how to.”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” she says.

CHAPTER 17

WESLEY

I’m standing at my kitchen counter in my pajamas and bathrobe and stirring cream into my coffee when I hear my doorbell ring. I’m exhausted and depressed and not looking forward to answering the door. But, hey, at least I have clothes on and I’m showered. It’s a step up from the other day.

Cooper and I haven’t communicated at all since the breakup until the previous night when I’d gotten a text message. My emotions are so fucking all over the place because I was equally angered and excited to hear from him. And now my stomach is in knots and I want to see him, but I don’t at the same time. I hate that he can do this to me, that I feel so vulnerable with him. That he’s the only one who can break my heart and he’s the only one who has.

All his message had said was that he needed to talk to me and could he please come over in the morning? I’d wrestled with myself for over an hour before responding. I told him he could come at nine o’clock but he had twenty minutes and that was it. Just call me Wesley Setting Boundaries Hall.

Cooper hadn’t replied but since it’s nine o’clock on the dot I’m assuming it’s him.

“Hey, Wes,” he says when I open the door. He has his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, his dark hair is a tousled mess as if he’s just rolled out of bed. He has dark circles under his eyes and they look bloodshot. Shit. Part of me wants to scold him for driving here on that goddamn bike of his in his condition. If anything happened to him...

“You look like shit,” I say instead.

“I, uh,” Cooper looks down at himself. “I haven’t been getting much sleep.” He shrugs.

“Yeah,” I say. “Me neither.” At least Cooper has the self-awareness to grimace.

“How’s your mom?” I ask, taking a sip of my coffee.

“Not good,” he says. “She’s fading. They gave her seventy-two hours two days ago.”

“Shit,” I breathe. “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.” We stand there in silence for a moment and I take another sip of coffee before he speaks again. “Any chance you’d let me inside? I only have seventeen minutes left and I do have something I want to do, and say, and I’d rather not say it out here.” He looks around and then back at me, biting his lip, and I smirk.

“It would serve you right if I made you do it out here,” I say, and he flushes.

“I will if you want me to.” It’s not the answer I’m expecting and I swallow. Damn him. I sigh and step aside, gesturing for him to enter. It might be stupid but I never claimed to be smart.

“You’re down to fifteen minutes now,” I say, closing the door.

Cooper takes a deep breath.

“So, what is it?” I ask.

He takes my arm and pulls me towards the dining room where he releases me, before grabbing a chair and sliding it out, facing it towards him. Then he steps back and motions for me to sit. I raise an eyebrow but do as he asks, crossing my arms over my chest and giving Cooper a stern expression. “So far I’m not impressed.”

“Just hang on.” He pulls out another chair and sits down across from me, a few feet away. He looks me in the eyes and then speaks. “I know I hurt you. I know I hurt you beyond words, and I know I don’t deserve another chance and I don’t expect you to give me one. I fucked up. I know that. I was hasty and stupid and foolish and dumb and I am so, so sorry. And I know there are no words that can ever be enough to express that or make up for the damage I’ve done to our relationship. You trusted me, and I broke that trust. I should have clung to you and instead I pushed you away. I don’t deserve you, I know that, and I know apologizing isn’t enough. But I want you to know that I’m serious about changing, whatever that means for us. Even if it means you won’t ever take me back. Even if it means we are only friends from here on out, or if it means we can’t be in each other’s lives at all. I know I have some things in my life that I need to work on, and I’m going to. But first, I wanted you to hear this.”

Cooper pulls out his phone and presses play and music floods through the speakers, filling the room. To my utter astonishment he begins to sing. I’ve heard this song before, but never has it meant as much to me as it does now, coming from the man I love, in tears as he pours out his heart to me. His lips tremble, his voice shaking as the words from “You Are the Reason” by Calum Scott slip from them.

I’m breathless as I listen, my chest constricting, his voice rising and falling as tears streak his cheeks, but he doesn’t miss a single word, and his gaze never leaves mine. Fuck. I’m trembling now, too, and he continues to sing. This has to be one of the most emotional experiences of my life.

He rises as the song comes to an end and approaches me, shaking, and kneeling at my feet, utterly wrecked.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so earnest, so undone in front of me. He takes my face in his hands and pulls my forehead to his, closing his eyes as he chokes on the final words.

When the music fades he lifts his head and looks at me, cheeks streaked with tears, his chest heaving.

And for all of my hurt, and grief, and anger, I’m sobbing too.

That was awful. Cooper cannot sing, but it was the most heartfelt, sincere thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t want to be crying. Not again. Not in front of him. But I can’t help it.

“Cooper,” I choke out as he clings to me.

“Don’t.” His voice is gravely as he brings our foreheads together again. “Don’t, please. I don’t want to know what you’ll say, because if it isn’t what I want to hear I have to have this last moment with you.”

There’s a moment of silence and then he speaks again. “Wesley, I’m going to see a therapist. After talking with my mom it’s something I realize I’ve needed for a while, and I’m hoping it will help me work through some things that I think have been affecting our relationship without me even knowing it. I know this isn’t an excuse for how terribly I treated you, but I think I pushed you away because I was scared of you pushing me away first. I didn’t think I was good enough for you. I didn’t think I deserved you and I was afraid you would let me go so I let you go instead. I let that fear and insecurity cripple me and rob me of the best things in my life. And I don’t want that anymore. Not for us, not for my career as a pilot, not for anything.”

I sniffle and lift my head. My fingers find their way to his hair and stroke it. “That sounds pretty great to me,” I say, and he smiles. God I love that smile.

“I think, if you’re willing, I’d like you to be there for my mom’s funeral,” Cooper says, “and then maybe it would be best if we took a break from each other again, so that you can figure out what it is you want, and if what you want is us. I’ll be doing therapy during that time and if you feel like you’re in a place where I’ve earned back your trust, then maybe we can start doing some therapy together?”

I have tears falling down my cheeks as I nod. Two days ago Cooper was the last person on earth I wanted to lay eyes on and now the idea of not seeing him for a few months is eating my heart out. But I know he’s right. He needs to work on some things and this time apart will be good for us.

He reaches up and presses a chaste kiss to my forehead and then takes my hands in his and squeezes. “I will always love you, Wesley.” His lips move to my hands and I feel his tears on my skin as they brush against my knuckles. My chest heaves, and then his eyes meet mine once more. “Please don’t give up on me,” he says, “because I won’t give up on us.” He strokes my cheek, then stands and leaves, closing the door behind him.

COOPER - 4 MONTHS LATER

It’s August now, and for Florida that means sweating in the shade, but today it’s not so bad, given how early in the morning it is. There’s actually a light breeze as I sit on the park bench sipping my coffee.

It has been four months. Four months since I started therapy. Four months since my mom passed away. Four months since I last saw the man I love with every cell in my body. And while I know that I did the right thing in taking a break and creating some space, my heart aches desperately for Wesley. For that sexy smile and that beautiful laugh, for those vibrant eyes and those soft, petite hands in mine. For those full pink lips and that warm body against my own.

I’ve learned a lot in the last four months during my therapy sessions. I’ve grown a lot, too. I only hope that I will be able to be the man that Wesley wants and needs me to be, because I can’t imagine my life without him.

“Cooper?” I hear and look up, my heart soaring at the sound of that angelic voice, my eyes almost filling with tears when I see him standing there. God, it’s so good to see him. He looks amazing in a simple pair of skinny jeans and a pink short sleeve button-down. I’m a bit more casual as always, in jeans and a tank.

“Wesley,” I say, standing to greet him. I hesitate but then ask, “Can I hug you?”

He smiles and then steps forward and wraps his arms around me, embracing me tightly with tears in his eyes. “I can’t believe you think you have to ask that, dumbass.” He squeezes me tighter. “God, I’ve missed you.”

Damn it, now I’m crying too. “I’ve missed you, too,” I say as I hug him back. It feels so good to be held by him. To hold him. His touch is everything. I don’t think it will ever get old. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course,” he says, pulling away. “I was really glad when I heard from you. I’ve been wanting to know how you are doing.”

I smile and gesture to the bench and we both sit.

“So, how are you doing?” Wesley asks. “With everything? I honestly felt terrible for not being there more for you in the last few months, especially after losing your mom, but I –”

“It’s okay,” I interject, laying a hand on his knee, and he meets my gaze. “I told you what I thought we should do and I meant it. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. And I’ve been talking with my therapist about it, and processing my grief with her, and while I miss my mom, I’m actually doing pretty well. I have a lot of positive memories to hold on to and that helps, and I know how much she loved me.”

Wesley nods and I move my hand. He seems almost sad and I take it as a good sign. “So, therapy is going well then?”

I nod. “It is. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and how my father’s absence affected me and my choices without me even realizing it. We talked about how I have a fear of abandonment and how that’s affected our relationship. She thinks that’s why I broke up with you both times, and why I was so scared of not being good enough for you.”

Wesley nods again. “You’ve been through a lot, Cooper. It makes sense.”

“It doesn’t excuse what I put you through.” I turn sorrowful eyes on him that I hope convey my remorse. “I’m so sorry, Wesley. I can’t –”

“Shh.” He puts his fingers to my lips. “I know how sorry you are Cooper, and you don’t have to keep saying it.” Then he says three words that mean everything to me. “I forgive you.”

Tears slide down my cheeks as Wesley pulls his fingers away. My chest heaves ever so slightly. “Thank you,” I whisper, feeling like a thousand pound weight has been lifted off my chest. “Does that mean that you are willing to go to therapy with me?”

Wesley reaches over and squeezes my hand and I shiver. It’s been so long since I felt his skin against mine.

“Yeah,” he says, and then pulls my hand to his mouth and presses his lips to my knuckles. My breath leaves me.

“You are my favorite person in all the world, Cooper. I would do anything for you. And I’m so proud of you for taking the initiative to start therapy and for wanting to do everything you can for yourself and for us. That really showed me how much you love me, how much you care, and how much you are willing to fight for me and for us and our relationship, and I want to do the same. So yeah, I’ll go to therapy with you.”

I smile and hug him tightly. “Thank you.”

“I uh, I have one more thing I wanted to show you.” I pull away, unable to keep the smile from my face.

Wesley eyes me. “Okay,” he says.

I reach in my back pocket and hand him a folded piece of paper, biting my bottom lip as he unfolds it and begins to read. I see the moment his breath catches, and his eyes meet mine, glistening with unshed tears.

“Is this for real?” he asks, and I nod. He looks back down at my acceptance letter and the tears slide down his cheeks as a wide smile breaks out over his beautiful face.

“You’re going to school?” he says, looking back up at me. “You’re going to be a pilot?”

“Yeah,” I say softly. I scoot closer and wipe away his tears. “I told you I wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of my dreams anymore, Wes, and I meant it.”

“Oh my god.” He laughs and takes my face into his hands before pressing his lips to mine firmly. I grunt, my eyes widening, but I’m certainly not going to fight it. “Shit, sorry,” he says, pulling away, looking flustered and a bit embarrassed.

I laugh and stroke his cheek. “Don’t ever apologize for kissing me.”

He blushes. “I just…” he holds up the letter. “I think this might be the sexiest thing you’ve ever done.”

I smile. “I’m not saying I’m glad my mom passed away, but I was able to use her life insurance to get a nicer apartment, and I’ll be able to use the rest of it to pay for college, and I think that’s how she would have wanted it.”

“I think so, too,” Wesley says. “I’m so proud of you, Cooper. And speaking of moms, I uh, I told my mom the truth about us.”

My eyes widen. “Really?”

He nods. “I thought a lot about what you said about me being a coward for not telling her the truth, and I realized you were right. I needed to be honest with her about everything. How it made me feel, and what I’d done.”

I swallow. “How’d it go?”

“Better than I expected. She felt really bad when I told her how I felt like I wasn’t good enough unless I had a boyfriend attached to me, and she said she never meant for me to feel that way, she just wanted me to be happy. But she also said she was glad things worked out the way they did because it meant us getting back together, even if it was by accident.”

I take a deep breath. I know I need to ask him but I’m so nervous he’ll say no, even though his body language and the way he’s been looking at me tells me maybe I have a shot. “So, is it too much for me to hope for, us getting back together a second time?” I say, gazing up at him through my eyelashes and biting my lip as I run my hand over the back of my neck. I feel sweat gathering there and my skin prickles. I know I don’t deserve a third chance with him, but god, I want it. And if he’s good enough to give it to me I swear I’ll treat him right this time. I’ll be the boyfriend he deserves. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep us together, even if I have to go to therapy every day for the rest of my life. I can’t promise I won’t mess up, but I can promise I won’t run away, or push him away. I’ll go to him when I’m feeling afraid or insecure like I should have done before.

Wesley gives a soft smile and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I can’t make any promises,” he says,“but I’m very hopeful. Let’s see how things go in counseling, okay?”

I nod. “Okay.”

EPILOGUE

WESLEY - 2 YEARS LATER

“Damn, you look sexy,” I say, practically purring as I walk up behind my husband and slide my arms around his bare waist. I stand on my tiptoes and press a kiss to his tattoo, which now has another date under the first one, 2/12/1963-4/03/2022 – his mother’s birthday and the day she passed.

I wrap my arms around his torso and press my hands to his firm chest before rutting my cock against his ass just to see his reaction. He fumbles with the zipper on his pants and nearly topples over, and I cackle. He looks back at me and smirks.

“You’re hopeless,” he says, then proceeds to pull his pants up the rest of the way and reaches for his dress shirt.

“Can you blame me?” I ask, moving around to stand in front of him, my gaze tracking over that very fine toned body of his, all lean and hard and….hmm, okay I have to calm down because we don’t have time for sex before he leaves, not even a quickie. It’s his first day, and he can’t be late. But damn, he looks fine. I sigh as he covers that gorgeous chest with his shirt and tucks it into the pants of his uniform, then fastens his belt.

“Are you going to ogle me the entire time I’m getting dressed?” he asks.

“That’s the plan,” I say, knowing he’s not at all bothered. He slips his dress shoes on and then returns to the mirror, fingers playing with his dark hair.

“It looks fine, babe,” I say. It really does. Not a single strand is out of place. It makes me want to muss it up, just on principle.

“Here.” I step in front of him and slide his tie around his neck. I loop it over and under and through, and then finally cinch it, and our gazes lock. We stare at each other for a long moment before I reach over and hand him his jacket, which completes the ensemble. I watch again as he slips it on. It fits like a glove, and…okay, down boy, I tell my half-hard cock. Not now. Daydreaming about Cooper in his pilot’s uniform doesn't even begin to do justice to the real thing. Jesus, I think I’ve discovered a new kink. And I can indulge in this one all I want ‘cause this man in uniform is all mine. Except he won’t be home till late tomorrow. Still, I’m not opposed to phone sex, wink, wink.

I step close to him again and smooth my palms down his jacket. He reaches out and takes my face in his hands and looks into my eyes.

“You okay?” I ask. My voice is barely a whisper, and shit, I’m choking up.

“Yeah,” he says, and plants a kiss on my curls. His thumbs circle my cheeks as tears slip free. “Are you?”

I nod. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” I say, wiping my eyes and laughing a little.

Cooper smiles. “Don’t you?” I nod and he pulls me close. I bury my face in his chest and he strokes my back.

“Shit,” I say, pulling away and smoothing his jacket out again, making sure I didn’t leak on it.

He chuckles. “It’s fine.” He tilts my chin up and kisses me and I melt into him. My Cooper.

“You know how proud I am of you, right?” I say. The smile that lights up his face is priceless. “And even more important, you know how proud you should be of yourself?”

He has a harder time with that one, but even so he nods. It’s taken time but he’s learning to recognize his worth, to believe he deserves good things. He has a difficult time giving himself credit for anything, seeing himself the way I see him. Flawed but still beautiful. Imperfect, but good. He’s worked so hard these past couple of years and I couldn’t be prouder to call him mine, to stand by his side as he fulfills his lifelong dream.

He’s still in school but he’s gotten his commercial license. We’ve been married for about eight months, after being in therapy together for a year. It had gone well and I had known that while we would still have our struggles and difficulties, Cooper would always be the one for me. We’ve learned a lot about each other, how to handle Cooper’s insecurities and fears together, how to communicate better, how to build trust. So when Cooper had asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve with the entire family in attendance, I had jumped into his arms with a resounding ‘Yes!’

“Hey,” Cooper says, bringing me out of my daze as I grip the lapels of his jacket. “You okay?”

My lips against his is my reply, and he wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly and kissing me back, his tongue tangling with mine. I moan but then pull back.

“I have something for you,” I say.

“Is it better than what we were just doing ‘cause I liked that a lot,” he says, his eyes twinkling.

I chuckle and flush. How does he still do that to me? “It’s for work.”

“Oh?” Cooper says as I walk over to the nightstand on my side of the bed. I come back and hand him a small rectangular box.

“It’s not much, but I figured you could take it with you, maybe, and it would remind you of me, and also let you know how much I love you.”

Cooper takes it and kisses my forehead before he even opens it. “I already love it and I don’t even know what it is,” he says, and my heart melts, because I know he means it. He’d like a used sock if it came from me.

He takes it and slides the lid off the top. Inside is a keychain with a beautiful sunset view of a mountain peak and the words, The best view comes after the hardest climb ~ anonymous.

I’m surprised to see tears fill his eyes as he takes it out and holds it in his hand, so carefully, almost as if it’s made of glass and not plastic. And then he’s gripping my face in his big, rough hands and kissing me.

“Thank you,” he whispers, his forehead pressed to mine. I feel his breath ghosting over my face. “I love it.” He kisses me again. “I have something for you, too.”

Now my eyebrows go up because I have no idea why he would be getting something for me on his first day of work, or what it could possibly be. He takes two long strides over to our dresser and pulls the top drawer open. Reaching in, he takes out a box almost identical to the one I gave him, and my eyebrow raises.

“Looks like we had similar ideas,” he says, handing it to me. I look at him for a second before opening it. I burst out laughing. Holy fucking shit. My husband got me a keychain that says Thanks for all the orgasms. Here I was thinking it was going to be sentimental and sappy. I go to him and hug him tightly as I laugh.

“Glad you like it,” he says, his strong arms around me. “I’m expecting to get to thank you again tonight.” He grins at me and I’m blushing again as a giggle escapes my lips. I press up on my tiptoes once again to kiss him. He moans as my tongue slides into his mouth. I feel his hands on my ass cheeks, squeezing and kneading, and I moan in response.

“Okay, that’s enough.” He pulls away. “You are a very naughty husband.” I grin as he adjusts himself.

“You’ll call me when you get to your hotel?” I step close again and wrap my arms around his waist.

“Of course.” He brushes my nose with the tip of his own. “And if you are very good, I’ll even let you listen while I jerk off.”

I hum. “Only if I can jerk off too.”

“Deal,” he says. We kiss again.

“Okay, now you really do have to go or you’ll get fired before you start.”

Cooper’s eyes widen when he looks at his phone. “Shit,” he says, and grabs his suitcase and hat.

“Wait!” I grab my phone and follow him out the front door.

He throws his luggage haphazardly in the trunk of our new car and slams it shut. “I have to go,” he says hurriedly, and kisses me again.

“Not before I take your picture.” He groans but complies, standing next to the driver-side door while I snap a photo. God he looks handsome. I lick my lips, thinking about the fun phone sex we’ll be having later tonight, but I tell my cock to settle when it begins to harden. I can’t be sporting a boner in my driveway in my very thin pajama pants.

“I love you.” I give him one last kiss.

“I love you, too,” he says, and then he climbs into the car, and I watch as he drives away.

My Cooper.

The man I love. The man I married. The man I lost and got back twice, was separated from for nine years. The man I fought for, and will always fight for. The man I will choose every single day, over and over again for the rest of my life. The kindest, bravest, most amazing man I’ve ever known. My husband, the pilot.

The End

PLAYLIST

You can find the playlist for Come Fly With Me here. These are songs that really spoke to me while writing Wesley and Cooper’s story and that I feel highlight the ups and downs of their relationship.

https://spotify.link/gNwunpxUHyb

THANK YOU

If you enjoyed reading Wesley and Cooper’s story please do me a huge favor and leave a review! It would mean the world to me.

To find the rest of my books, follow me on social media, join my Facebook group, sign up for my newsletter and see my Pinterest storyboards, click here: linktr.ee/felsnowauthor

WANT MORE?

You can get an additional spicy scene of Wesley and Cooper's first time here for only $0.99: https://payhip.com/b/k3Ksz

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I live in sunny Florida with my husband and three children. I love rainy days and sunshine, curling up with a blanket and a good book, and watching my favorite tv shows. I love creativity in all its forms which is why writing is such a passion for me. I’m a big fan of show Supernatural and a firm believer that Starbucks is self care. :)

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